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.figleft {float: left;} + .figright {float: right;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + .boxnote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin: 1em 10%; } + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> + <h2> + ROUGHING IT, COMPLETE, By Mark Twain + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Roughing It, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net + + +Title: Roughing It + +Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Release Date: August 18, 2006 [EBook #3177] +Last Updated: October 18, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUGHING IT *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="boxnote"> + <i> <a + href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3177/old/orig3177-h/main.htm"> LINK + TO THE ORIGINAL HTML FILE: This Ebook Has Been Reformatted For Better + Appearance In Mobile Viewers Such As Kindles And Others. The Original + Format, Which The Editor Believes Has A More Attractive Appearance For + Laptops And Other Computers, May Be Viewed By Clicking On This Box.</a> + </i> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="cover.jpg (90K)" src="images/cover.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="spine.jpg (54K)" src="images/spine.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + ROUGHING IT + </h1> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Mark Twain + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="frontispiece1.jpg (168K)" src="images/frontispiece1.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> <a name="linkfrontispiece2" id="linkfrontispiece2"></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="frontispiece2.jpg (184K)" src="images/frontispiece2.jpg" + width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="titlepage.jpg (95K)" src="images/titlepage.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="dedication.jpg (18K)" src="images/dedication.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + PREFATORY. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + This book is merely a personal narrative, and not a pretentious history or + a philosophical dissertation. It is a record of several years of + variegated vagabondizing, and its object is rather to help the resting + reader while away an idle hour than afflict him with metaphysics, or goad + him with science. Still, there is information in the volume; information + concerning an interesting episode in the history of the Far West, about + which no books have been written by persons who were on the ground in + person, and saw the happenings of the time with their own eyes. I allude + to the rise, growth and culmination of the silver-mining fever in Nevada—a + curious episode, in some respects; the only one, of its peculiar kind, + that has occurred in the land; and the only one, indeed, that is likely to + occur in it. + </p> + <p> + Yes, take it all around, there is quite a good deal of information in the + book. I regret this very much; but really it could not be helped: + information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious ottar + of roses out of the otter. Sometimes it has seemed to me that I would give + worlds if I could retain my facts; but it cannot be. The more I calk up + the sources, and the tighter I get, the more I leak wisdom. Therefore, I + can only claim indulgence at the hands of the reader, not justification. + </p> + <p> + THE AUTHOR. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CONTENTS. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <a href="#linkch01">CHAPTER I.</a> My Brother appointed Secretary of + Nevada—I Envy His Prospective Adventures—Am Appointed Private + Secretary Under Him—My Contentment Complete—Packed in One Hour—Dreams + and Visions—On the Missouri River—A Bully Boat<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch02">CHAPTER II.</a> Arrive at St. Joseph—Only + Twenty-five Pounds Baggage Allowed—Farewell to Kid Gloves and Dress + Coats—Armed to the Teeth—The "Allen"—A Cheerful Weapon—Persuaded + to Buy a Mule—Schedule of Luxuries—We Leave the "States"—"Our + Coach"—Mails for the Indians—Between a Wink and an Earthquake—A + Modern Sphynx and How She Entertained Us—A Sociable Heifer<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch03">CHAPTER III.</a> "The Thoroughbrace is Broke"—Mails + Delivered Properly—Sleeping Under Difficulties—A Jackass + Rabbit Meditating, and on Business—A Modern Gulliver—Sage-brush—Overcoats + as an Article of Diet—Sad Fate of a Camel—Warning to + Experimenters<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch04">CHAPTER IV.</a> Making Our Bed—Assaults + by the Unabridged—At a Station—Our Driver a Great and Shining + Dignitary—Strange Place for a Frontyard—Accommodations—Double + Portraits—An Heirloom—Our Worthy Landlord—"Fixings and + Things"—An Exile—Slumgullion—A Well Furnished Table—The + Landlord Astonished—Table Etiquette—Wild Mexican Mules—Stage-coaching + and Railroading<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch05">CHAPTER V.</a> New + Acquaintances—The Cayote—A Dog's Experiences—A Disgusted + Dog—The Relatives of the Cayote—Meals Taken Away from Home<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch06">CHAPTER VI.</a> The Division Superintendent—The + Conductor—The Driver—One Hundred and Fifty Miles' Drive + Without Sleep—Teaching a Subordinate—Our Old Friend Jack and a + Pilgrim—Ben Holliday Compared to Moses<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch07">CHAPTER + VII.</a> Overland City—Crossing the Platte—Bemis's Buffalo + Hunt—Assault by a Buffalo—Bemis's Horse Goes Crazy—An + Impromptu Circus—A New Departure—Bemis Finds Refuge in a Tree—Escapes + Finally by a Wonderful Method<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch08">CHAPTER VIII.</a> + The Pony Express—Fifty Miles Without Stopping—"Here he Comes"—Alkali + Water—Riding an Avalanche—Indian Massacre<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch09">CHAPTER IX.</a> Among the Indians—An Unfair + Advantage—Laying on our Arms—A Midnight Murder—Wrath of + Outlaws—A Dangerous, yet Valuable Citizen<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch10">CHAPTER X.</a> History of Slade—A Proposed + Fist-fight—Encounter with Jules—Paradise of Outlaws—Slade + as Superintendent—As Executioner—A Doomed Whisky Seller—A + Prisoner—A Wife's Bravery—An Ancient Enemy Captured—Enjoying + a Luxury—Hob-nobbing with Slade—Too Polite—A Happy + Escape<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch11">CHAPTER XI</a>. Slade in Montana—"On + a Spree"—In Court—Attack on a Judge—Arrest by the + Vigilantes—Turn out of the Miners—Execution of Slade—Lamentations + of His Wife—Was Slade a Coward?<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch12">CHAPTER + XII.</a> A Mormon Emigrant Train—The Heart of the Rocky Mountains—Pure + Saleratus—A Natural Ice-House—An Entire Inhabitant—In + Sight of "Eternal Snow"—The South Pass—The Parting Streams—An + Unreliable Letter Carrier—Meeting of Old Friends—A Spoiled + Watermelon—Down the Mountain- -A Scene of Desolation—Lost in + the Dark—Unnecessary Advice—U.S. Troops and Indians—Sublime + Spectacle—Another Delusion Dispelled—Among the Angels<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch13">CHAPTER XIII.</a> Mormons and Gentiles—Exhilarating + Drink, and its Effect on Bemis—Salt Lake City—A Great Contrast—A + Mormon Vagrant—Talk with a Saint—A Visit to the "King"—A + Happy Simile<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch14">CHAPTER XIV.</a> Mormon + Contractors—How Mr. Street Astonished Them—The Case Before + Brigham Young, and How he Disposed of it—Polygamy Viewed from a New + Position<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch15">CHAPTER XV.</a> A Gentile Den—Polygamy + Discussed—Favorite Wife and D. 4—Hennery for Retired Wives—Children + Need Marking—Cost of a Gift to No. 6—A Penny- whistle Gift and + its Effects—Fathering the Foundlings—It Resembled Him—The + Family Bedstead<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch16">CHAPTER XVI.</a> The Mormon + Bible—Proofs of its Divinity—Plagiarism of its Authors—Story + of Nephi—Wonderful Battle—Kilkenny Cats Outdone<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch17">CHAPTER XVII.</a> Three Sides to all Questions—Everything + "A Quarter"—Shriveled Up—Emigrants and White Shirts at a + Discount—"Forty-Niners"—Above Par—Real Happiness<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch18">CHAPTER XVIII.</a> Alkali Desert—Romance of + Crossing Dispelled—Alkali Dust—Effect on the Mules—Universal + Thanksgiving<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch19">CHAPTER XIX.</a> The Digger + Indians Compared with the Bushmen of Africa—Food, Life and + Characteristics—Cowardly Attack on a Stage Coach—A Brave + Driver—The Noble Red Man<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch20">CHAPTER XX.</a> + The Great American Desert—Forty Miles on Bones—Lakes Without + Outlets—Greely's Remarkable Ride—Hank Monk, the Renowned + Driver—Fatal Effects of "Corking" a Story—Bald-Headed Anecdote<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch21">CHAPTER XXI.</a> Alkali Dust—Desolation and + Contemplation—Carson City—Our Journey Ended—We are + Introduced to Several Citizens—A Strange Rebuke—A Washoe + Zephyr at Play—Its Office Hours—Governor's Palace—Government + Offices—Our French Landlady Bridget O'Flannigan—Shadow Secrets—Cause + for a Disturbance at Once—The Irish Brigade—Mrs. O'Flannigan's + Boarders—The Surveying Expedition—Escape of the Tarantulas<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch22">CHAPTER XXII.</a> The Son of a Nabob—Start for + Lake Tahoe—Splendor of the Views—Trip on the Lake—Camping + Out—Reinvigorating Climate—Clearing a Tract of Land—Securing + a Title—Outhouse and Fences<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch23">CHAPTER + XXIII.</a> A Happy Life—Lake Tahoe and its Moods—Transparency + of the Waters—A Catastrophe—Fire! Fire!—A Magnificent + Spectacle—Homeless Again—We take to the Lake—A Storm—Return + to Carson<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch24">CHAPTER XXIV.</a> Resolve to Buy a + Horse—Horsemanship in Carson—A Temptation—Advice Given + Me Freely—I Buy the Mexican Plug—My First Ride—A Good + Bucker—I Loan the Plug—Experience of Borrowers—Attempts + to Sell—Expense of the Experiment—A Stranger Taken In<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch25">CHAPTER XXV.</a> The Mormons in Nevada—How to + Persuade a Loan from Them—Early History of the Territory—Silver + Mines Discovered—The New Territorial Government—A Foreign One + and a Poor One—Its Funny Struggles for Existence—No Credit, no + Cash—Old Abe Currey Sustains it and its Officers—Instructions + and Vouchers—An Indian's Endorsement—Toll-Gates<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch26">CHAPTER XXVI.</a> The Silver Fever—State of the + Market—Silver Bricks—Tales Told—Off for the Humboldt + Mines<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch27">CHAPTER XXVII.</a> Our manner of going—Incidents + of the Trip—A Warm but Too Familiar a Bedfellow—Mr. Ballou + Objects—Sunshine amid Clouds—Safely Arrived<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch28">CHAPTER XXVIII.</a> Arrive at the Mountains—Building + Our Cabin—My First Prospecting Tour—My First Gold Mine—Pockets + Filled With Treasures—Filtering the News to My Companions—The + Bubble Pricked—All Not Gold That Glitters<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch29">CHAPTER XXIX.</a> Out Prospecting—A Silver Mine At + Last—Making a Fortune With Sledge and Drill—A Hard Road to + Travel—We Own in Claims—A Rocky Country<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch30">CHAPTER XXX.</a> Disinterested Friends—How "Feet" + Were Sold—We Quit Tunnelling—A Trip to Esmeralda—My + Companions—An Indian Prophesy—A Flood—Our Quarters + During It<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch31">CHAPTER XXXI.</a> The Guests at + "Honey Lake Smith's"—"Bully Old Arkansas"—"Our Landlord"- + -Determined to Fight—The Landlord's Wife—The Bully Conquered + by Her—Another Start—Crossing the Carson—A Narrow Escape—Following + Our Own Track—A New Guide—Lost in the Snow<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch32">CHAPTER XXXII.</a> Desperate Situation—Attempts to + Make a Fire—Our Horses leave us—We Find Matches—One, + Two, Three and the Last—No Fire—Death Seems Inevitable—We + Mourn Over Our Evil Lives—Discarded Vices—We Forgive Each + Other—An Affectionate Farewell—The Sleep of Oblivion<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch33">CHAPTER XXXIII.</a> Return of Consciousness—Ridiculous + Developments—A Station House—Bitter Feelings—Fruits of + Repentance—Resurrected Vices<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch34">CHAPTER + XXXIV.</a> About Carson—General Buncombe—Hyde vs. Morgan—How + Hyde Lost His Ranch- -The Great Landslide Case—The Trial—General + Buncombe in Court—A Wonderful Decision—A Serious Afterthought<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch35">CHAPTER XXXV.</a> A New Travelling Companion—All + Full and No Accommodations—How Captain Nye found Room—and + Caused Our Leaving to be Lamented—The Uses of Tunnelling—A + Notable Example—We Go into the "Claim" Business and Fail—At + the Bottom<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch36">CHAPTER XXXVI.</a> A Quartz Mill—Amalgamation—"Screening + Tailings"—First Quartz Mill in Nevada—Fire Assay—A Smart + Assayer—I stake for an advance<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch37">CHAPTER + XXXVII.</a> The Whiteman Cement Mine—Story of its Discovery—A + Secret Expedition—A Nocturnal Adventure—A Distressing Position—A + Failure and a Week's Holiday<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch38">CHAPTER + XXXVIII.</a> Mono Lake—Shampooing Made Easy—Thoughtless Act of + Our Dog and the Results—Lye Water—Curiosities of the Lake—Free + Hotel—Some Funny Incidents a Little Overdrawn<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch39">CHAPTER XXXIX.</a> Visit to the Islands in Lake Mono—Ashes + and Desolation—Life Amid Death Our Boat Adrift—A Jump For Life—A + Storm On the Lake—A Mass of Soap Suds—Geological Curiosities—A + Week On the Sierras—A Narrow Escape From a Funny Explosion—"Stove + Heap Gone"<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch40">CHAPTER XL.</a> The "Wide West" + Mine—It is "Interviewed" by Higbie—A Blind Lead—Worth a + Million—We are Rich At Last—Plans for the Future<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch41">CHAPTER XLI.</a> A Rheumatic Patient—Day Dreams—An + Unfortunate Stumble—I Leave Suddenly—Another Patient—Higbie + in the Cabin—Our Balloon Bursted—Worth Nothing—Regrets + and Explanations—Our Third Partner<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch42">CHAPTER + XLII.</a> What to do Next?—Obstacles I Had Met With—"Jack of + All Trades"—Mining Again—Target Shooting—I Turn City + Editor—I Succeed Finely<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch43">CHAPTER XLIII.</a> + My Friend Boggs—The School Report—Boggs Pays Me An Old Debt—Virginia + City<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch44">CHAPTER XLIV.</a> Flush Times—Plenty + of Stock—Editorial Puffing—Stocks Given Me—Salting Mines—A + Tragedian In a New Role<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch45">CHAPTER XLV.</a> + Flush Times Continue—Sanitary Commission Fund—Wild Enthusiasm + of the People—Would not wait to Contribute—The Sanitary Flour + Sack—It is Carried to Gold Hill and Dayton—Final Reception in + Virginia—Results of the Sale—A Grand Total<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch46">CHAPTER XLVI.</a> The Nabobs of Those Days—John + Smith as a Traveler—Sudden Wealth—A Sixty-Thousand-Dollar + Horse—A Smart Telegraph Operator—A Nabob in New York City—Charters + an Omnibus—"Walk in, It's All Free"—"You Can't Pay a Cent"—"Hold + On, Driver, I Weaken"—Sociability of New Yorkers<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch47">CHAPTER XLVII.</a> Buck Fanshaw's Death—The Cause + Thereof—Preparations for His Burial—Scotty Briggs the + Committee Man—He Visits the Minister—Scotty Can't Play His + Hand—The Minister Gets Mixed—Both Begin to See—"All Down + Again But Nine"—Buck Fanshaw as a Citizen—How To "Shook Your + Mother"—The Funeral—Scotty Briggs as a Sunday School Teacher<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch48">CHAPTER XLVIII.</a> The First Twenty-Six Graves in + Nevada—The Prominent Men of the County—The Man Who Had Killed + His Dozen—Trial by Jury—Specimen Jurors—A Private Grave + Yard—The Desperadoes—Who They Killed—Waking up the Weary + Passenger—Satisfaction Without Fighting<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch49">CHAPTER + XLIX.</a> Fatal Shooting Affray—Robbery and Desperate Affray—A + Specimen City Official—A Marked Man—A Street Fight—Punishment + of Crime<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch50">CHAPTER L.</a> Captain Ned Blakely—Bill + Nookes Receives Desired Information—Killing of Blakely's Mate—A + Walking Battery—Blakely Secures Nookes—Hang First and Be Tried + Afterwards—Captain Blakely as a Chaplain—The First Chapter of + Genesis Read at a Hanging—Nookes Hung—Blakely's Regrets<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch51">CHAPTER LI.</a> The Weekly Occidental—A Ready + Editor—A Novel—A Concentration of Talent—The Heroes and + the Heroines—The Dissolute Author Engaged—Extraordinary Havoc + With the Novel—A Highly Romantic Chapter—The Lovers Separated—Jonah + Out-done—A Lost Poem—The Aged Pilot Man—Storm On the + Erie Canal—Dollinger the Pilot Man—Terrific Gale—Danger + Increases—A Crisis Arrived—Saved as if by a Miracle<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch52">CHAPTER LII.</a> Freights to California—Silver + Bricks—Under Ground Mines—Timber Supports—A Visit to the + Mines—The Caved Mines—Total of Shipments in 1863<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch53">CHAPTER LIII.</a> Jim Blaine and his Grandfather's Ram—Filkin's + Mistake—Old Miss Wagner and her Glass Eye—Jacobs, the Coffin + Dealer—Waiting for a Customer—His Bargain With Old Robbins—Robbins + Sues for Damage and Collects—A New Use for Missionaries—The + Effect—His Uncle Lem and the Use Providence Made of Him—Sad + Fate of Wheeler—Devotion of His Wife—A Model Monument—What + About the Ram?<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch54">CHAPTER LIV.</a> Chinese in + Virginia City—Washing Bills—Habit of Imitation—Chinese + Immigration—A Visit to Chinatown—Messrs. Ah Sing, Hong Wo, See + Yup, &c<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch55">CHAPTER LV.</a> Tired of + Virginia City—An Old Schoolmate—A Two Years' Loan—Acting + as an Editor—Almost Receive an Offer—An Accident—Three + Drunken Anecdotes—Last Look at Mt. Davidson—A Beautiful + Incident<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch56">CHAPTER LVI.</a> Off for San + Francisco—Western and Eastern Landscapes—The Hottest place on + Earth—Summer and Winter<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch57">CHAPTER LVII.</a> + California—Novelty of Seeing a Woman—"Well if it ain't a + Child!"—One Hundred and Fifty Dollars for a Kiss—Waiting for a + turn<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch58">CHAPTER LVIII.</a> Life in San + Francisco—Worthless Stocks—My First Earthquake—Reportorial + Instincts—Effects of the Shocks—Incidents and Curiosities—Sabbath + Breakers—The Lodger and the Chambermaid—A Sensible Fashion to + Follow—Effects of the Earthquake on the Ministers<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch59">CHAPTER LIX.</a> Poor Again—Slinking as a Business—A + Model Collector—Misery loves Company—Comparing Notes for + Comfort—A Streak of Luck—Finding a Dime—Wealthy by + Comparison—Two Sumptuous Dinners<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch60">CHAPTER + LX.</a> An Old Friend—An Educated Miner—Pocket Mining—Freaks + of Fortune<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch61">CHAPTER LXI.</a> Dick Baker and + his Cat—Tom Quartz's Peculiarities—On an Excursion—Appearance + On His Return—A Prejudiced Cat—Empty Pockets and a Roving Life<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch62">CHAPTER LXII.</a> Bound for the Sandwich Islands—The + Three Captains—The Old Admiral—His Daily Habits—His Well + Fought Fields—An Unexpected Opponent—The Admiral Overpowered—The + Victor Declared a Hero<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch63">CHAPTER LXIII.</a> + Arrival at the Islands—Honolulu—What I Saw There—Dress + and Habits of the Inhabitants—The Animal Kingdom—Fruits and + Delightful Effects<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch64">CHAPTER LXIV.</a> An + Excursion—Captain Phillips and his Turn-Out—A Horseback Ride—A + Vicious Animal—Nature and Art—Interesting Ruins—All + Praise to the Missionaries<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch65">CHAPTER LXV.</a> + Interesting Mementoes and Relics—An Old Legend of a Frightful Leap—An + Appreciative Horse—Horse Jockeys and Their Brothers—A New + Trick—A Hay Merchant—Good Country for Horse Lovers<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch66">CHAPTER LXVI.</a> A Saturday Afternoon—Sandwich + Island Girls on a Frolic—The Poi Merchant—Grand Gala Day—A + Native Dance—Church Membership—Cats and Officials—An + Overwhelming Discovery<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch67">CHAPTER LXVII.</a> + The Legislature of the Island—What Its President Has Seen—Praying + for an Enemy—Women's Rights—Romantic Fashions—Worship of + the Shark—Desire for Dress—Full Dress—Not Paris Style—Playing + Empire—Officials and Foreign Ambassadors—Overwhelming + Magnificence<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch68">CHAPTER LXVIII.</a> A Royal + Funeral—Order of Procession—Pomp and Ceremony—A Striking + Contrast—A Sick Monarch—Human Sacrifices at His Death—Burial + Orgies<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch69">CHAPTER LXIX.</a> "Once more upon the + Waters."—A Noisy Passenger—Several Silent Ones—A + Moonlight Scene—Fruits and Plantations<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch70">CHAPTER + LXX.</a> A Droll Character—Mrs. Beazely and Her Son—Meditations + on Turnips—A Letter from Horace Greeley—An Indignant Rejoinder—The + Letter Translated but too Late<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch71">CHAPTER LXXI.</a> + Kealakekua Bay—Death of Captain Cook—His Monument—Its + Construction—On Board the Schooner<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch72">CHAPTER + LXXII.</a> Young Kanakas in New England—A Temple Built by Ghosts—Female + Bathers—I Stood Guard—Women and Whiskey—A Fight for + Religion—Arrival of Missionaries<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch73">CHAPTER + LXXIII.</a> Native Canoes—Surf Bathing—A Sanctuary—How + Built—The Queen's Rock—Curiosities—Petrified Lava<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch74">CHAPTER LXXIV.</a> Visit to the Volcano—The + Crater—Pillar of Fire—Magnificent Spectacle—A Lake of + Fire<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch75">CHAPTER LXXV.</a> The North Lake—Fountains + of Fire—Streams of Burning Lava—Tidal Waves<br /><br /> <a + href="#linkch76">CHAPTER LXXVI.</a> A Reminiscence—Another Horse + Story—My Ride with the Retired Milk Horse- -A Picnicing Excursion—Dead + Volcano of Holeakala—Comparison with Vesuvius—An Inside View<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch77">CHAPTER LXXVII.</a> A Curious Character—A Series + of Stories—Sad Fate of a Liar—Evidence of Insanity<br /><br /> + <a href="#linkch78">CHAPTER LXXVIII.</a> Return to San Francisco—Ship + Amusements—Preparing for Lecturing—Valuable Assistance Secured—My + First Attempt—The Audience Carried—"All's Well that Ends + Well."<br /><br /> <a href="#linkch79">CHAPTER LXXIX.</a> Highwaymen—A + Predicament—A Huge Joke—Farewell to California—At Home + Again—Great Changes. Moral.<br /><br /> <a href="#linkAPPENDIX">APPENDIX. + A.</a>—Brief Sketch of Mormon History B.—The Mountain Meadows + Massacre C.—Concerning a Frightful Assassination that was never + Consummated<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + </h2> + <p> + <br /> 1. <a href="#linkfrontispiece2">THE MINERS' DREAM</a><br /><br /> 2. + <a href="#link020">ENVIOUS CONTEMPLATIONS</a><br /><br /> 3. <a + href="#link021">INNOCENT DREAMS</a><br /><br /> 4. <a href="#link023a">LIGHT + TRAVELING ORDER</a><br /><br /> 5. <a href="#link023b">THE "ALLEN"</a><br /><br /> + 6. <a href="#link024">INDUCEMENTS TO PURCHASE</a><br /><br /> 7. <a + href="#link025">THE FACETIOUS DRIVER</a><br /><br /> 8. <a href="#link026">PLEASING + NEWS</a><br /><br /> 9. <a href="#link027">THE SPHYNX</a><br /><br /> 10. <a + href="#link032">MEDITATION</a><br /><br /> 11. <a href="#link033a">ON + BUSINESS</a><br /><br /> 12. <a href="#link033b">AUTHOR AS GULLIVER</a><br /><br /> + 13. <a href="#link035">A TOUCH STATEMENT</a><br /><br /> 14. <a + href="#link038">THIRD TRIP OF THE UNABRIDGED</a><br /><br /> 15. <a + href="#link041">A POWERFUL GLASS</a><br /><br /> 16. <a href="#link042a">AN + HEIRLOOM</a><br /><br /> 17. <a href="#link042b">OUR LANDLORD</a><br /><br /> + 18. <a href="#link043">DIGNIFIED EXILE</a><br /><br /> 19. <a href="#link044">DRINKING + SLUMGULLION</a><br /><br /> 20. <a href="#link045">A JOKE WITHOUT CREAM</a><br /><br /> + 21. <a href="#link047">PULLMAN CAR DINING-SALOON</a><br /><br /> 22. <a + href="#link049">OUR MORNING RIDE</a><br /><br /> 23. <a href="#link050">PRAIRIE + DOGS</a><br /><br /> 24. <a href="#link051">A CAYOTE</a><br /><br /> 25. <a + href="#link052">SHOWING RESPECT TO RELATIVES</a><br /><br /> 26. <a + href="#link055">THE CONDUCTOR</a><br /><br /> 27. <a href="#link057">TEACHING + A SUBORDINATE</a><br /><br /> 28. <a href="#link058">JACK AND THE ELDERLY + PILGRIM</a><br /><br /> 29. <a href="#link061">CROSSING THE PLATTE</a><br /><br /> + 30. <a href="#link062">I BEGAN TO PRAY</a><br /><br /> 31. <a href="#link063">A + NEW DEPARTURE</a><br /><br /> 32. <a href="#link065">SUSPENDED OPERATIONS</a><br /><br /> + 33. <a href="#link068">A WONDERFUL LIE</a><br /><br /> 34. <a href="#link069">TALL + PIECE</a><br /><br /> 35. <a href="#link071">HERE HE COMES</a><br /><br /> 36. + <a href="#link072">CHANGING HORSES</a><br /><br /> 37. <a href="#link073">RIDING + THE AVALANCHE</a><br /><br /> 38. <a href="#link076">INDIAN COUNTRY</a><br /><br /> + 39. <a href="#link081">A PROPOSED FIST FIGHT</a><br /><br /> 40. <a + href="#link082">FROM BEHIND THE DOOR</a><br /><br /> 41. <a href="#link084">SLADE + AS AN EXECUTIONER</a><br /><br /> 42. <a href="#link085">AN UNPLEASANT VIEW</a><br /><br /> + 43. <a href="#link088">UNAPPRECIATED POLITENESS</a><br /><br /> 44. <a + href="#link092">SLADE IN COURT</a><br /><br /> 45. <a href="#link095">A + WIFE'S LAMENTATIONS</a><br /><br /> 46. <a href="#link099">THE CONCENTRATED + INHABITANT</a><br /><br /> 47. <a href="#link100">THE SOUTH PASS</a><br /><br /> + 48. <a href="#link101">THE PARTED STREAMS</a><br /><br /> 49. <a + href="#link102">IT SPOILED THE MELON</a><br /><br /> 50. <a href="#link103">THE + CAYOTE AND THE RAVEN</a><br /><br /> 51. <a href="#link104">"DON'T COME HERE + ...</a><br /><br /> 52. <a href="#link105">"THINK I'M A FOOL ...</a><br /><br /> + 53. <a href="#link106">THE "DESTROYING ANGEL...</a><br /><br /> 54. <a + href="#link109">EFFECTS OF "VALLEY TAN"</a><br /><br /> 55. <a + href="#link110a">ONE CREST</a><br /><br /> 56. <a href="#link110b">THE OTHER</a><br /><br /> + 57. <a href="#link111">THE VAGRANT</a><br /><br /> 58. <a href="#link112">PORTRAIT + OF EBER KIMBALL</a><br /><br /> 59. <a href="#link113">PORTRAIT OR BRIGHAM + YOUNG</a><br /><br /> 60. <a href="#link116">THE CONTRACTORS BEFORE THE KING</a><br /><br /> + 61. <a href="#link117">I WAS TOUCHED</a><br /><br /> 62. <a href="#link118">THE + ENDOWMENT</a><br /><br /> 63. <a href="#link120">FAVORITE WIFE AND D.4</a><br /><br /> + 64. <a href="#link121">NEEDED MARKING</a><br /><br /> 65. <a href="#link124">A + REMARKABLE RESEMBLANCE</a><br /><br /> 66. <a href="#link126">THE FAMILY + BEDSTEAD</a><br /><br /> 67. <a href="#link131">THE MIRACULOUS COMPASS</a><br /><br /> + 68. <a href="#link137">THREE SIDES TO A QUESTION</a><br /><br /> 69. <a + href="#link138">RESULT OF HFGH FREIGHTS</a><br /><br /> 70. <a + href="#link139">A SHRIVELED QUARTER</a><br /><br /> 71. <a href="#link140">AN + OBJECT OF PITY</a><br /><br /> 72. <a href="#link141">TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> + 73. <a href="#link145">TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> 74. <a href="#link147">GOSHOTT + INDIANS HANGING AROUND</a><br /><br /> 75. <a href="#link148">THE DRIVE FOR + LIFE</a><br /><br /> 76. <a href="#link151">GREELEY'S RIDE</a><br /><br /> 77. + <a href="#link154">BOTTLING AN ANECDOTE</a><br /><br /> 78. <a + href="#link156">TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> 79. <a href="#link158">CONTEMPLATION</a><br /><br /> + 80. <a href="#link159">THE WASHOE ZEPHYR</a><br /><br /> 81. <a + href="#link161">THE GOVERNOR'S HOUSE</a><br /><br /> 82. <a href="#link162">DARK + DISCLOSURES</a><br /><br /> 83. <a href="#link163">THE IRISH BRIGADE</a><br /><br /> + 84. <a href="#link164">RECREATION</a><br /><br /> 85. <a href="#link165">THE + TARANTULA</a><br /><br /> 86. <a href="#link166">LIGHT THROWN ON THE SUBJECT</a><br /><br /> + 87. <a href="#link169">I STEERED</a><br /><br /> 88. <a href="#link170">THE + INVALID</a><br /><br /> 89. <a href="#link171">THE RESTORED</a><br /><br /> + 90. <a href="#link172">OUR HOUSE</a><br /><br /> 91. <a href="#link174">AT + BUSINESS</a><br /><br /> 92. <a href="#link176">FIGHT AT LAKE TAHOE</a><br /><br /> + 93. <a href="#link179">"THINK HIM AN AMERICAN HORSE"</a><br /><br /> 94. <a + href="#link180">UNEXPECTED ELEVATION</a><br /><br /> 95. <a href="#link181">UNIVERSALLY + UNSETTLED</a><br /><br /> 96. <a href="#link182">RIDING THE PLUG</a><br /><br /> + 97. <a href="#link183">WANTED EXERCISE</a><br /><br /> 98. <a href="#link186">BORROWING + MADE EASY</a><br /><br /> 99. <a href="#link188">FREE RIDES</a><br /><br /> + 100. <a href="#link190">SATISFACTORY VOUCHERS</a><br /><br /> 101. <a + href="#link191">NEEDS PRAYING FOR</a><br /><br /> 102. <a href="#link192">MAP + OF TOLL ROADS</a><br /><br /> 103. <a href="#link194">UNLOADING SILVER + BRICKS</a><br /><br /> 104. <a href="#link196">VIEW IN HUMBOLDT MOUNTAINS</a><br /><br /> + 105. <a href="#link199">GOING TO HUMBOLDT</a><br /><br /> 106. <a + href="#link201">BALLOU'S BEDFELLOW</a><br /><br /> 107. <a href="#link202">PLEASURES + OF CAMPING OUT</a><br /><br /> 108. <a href="#link205">THE SECRET SEARCH</a><br /><br /> + 109. <a href="#link207">"CAST YOUR EYE ON THAT ...</a><br /><br /> 110. <a + href="#link210">"WE'VE GOT IT"</a><br /><br /> 111. <a href="#link212">INCIPIENT + MILLIONAIRES</a><br /><br /> 112. <a href="#link214">ROCKS-TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> + 113. <a href="#link216">"DO YOU SEE IT?"</a><br /><br /> 114. <a + href="#link218">FAREWELL SWEET RIVER</a><br /><br /> 115. <a href="#link219">THE + RESCUE</a><br /><br /> 116. <a href="#link222">"MR. ARKANSAS ...</a><br /><br /> + 117. <a href="#link225">AN ARMED ALLY</a><br /><br /> 118. <a href="#link227">CROSSING + THE FLOOD</a><br /><br /> 119. <a href="#link229">ADVANCE IN A CIRCLE</a><br /><br /> + 120, <a href="#link230">THE SONGSTER</a><br /><br /> 121. <a href="#link231">THE + FOXES HAVE HOLES-TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> 122. <a href="#link233">A FLAT + FAILURE</a><br /><br /> 123. <a href="#link234">THE LAST MATCH</a><br /><br /> + 124. <a href="#link236">DISCARDED VICES</a><br /><br /> 125. <a + href="#link237">FLAMES-TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> 127. <a href="#link240">IT + WAS THUS WE MET</a><br /><br /> 128. <a href="#link242">TAKING POSSESSION</a><br /><br /> + 129. <a href="#link244">A GREAT EFFORT</a><br /><br /> 130. <a + href="#link246">REARRANGING AND SHIFTING</a><br /><br /> 131. <a + href="#link249">WE LEFT LAMENTED</a><br /><br /> 132. <a href="#link250">PICTURE + OF TOWNSEND'S TUNNEL</a><br /><br /> 133. <a href="#link253">QUARTZ MILL</a><br /><br /> + 134. <a href="#link254">ANOTHER PROCESS OF AMALGAMATION</a> <br /><br /> + 135. <a href="#link256">FIRST QUARTZ MILL IN NEVADA</a><br /><br /> 136. <a + href="#link257">A SLICE OF RICH ORE</a><br /><br /> 137. <a href="#link260">THE + SAVED BROTHER</a><br /><br /> 138. <a href="#link268">ON A SECRET EXPEDITION</a><br /><br /> + 139. <a href="#link265">LAKE MONO</a><br /><br /> 140. <a href="#link266a">RATHER + SOAPY</a><br /><br /> 141. <a href="#link266b">A BARK UNDER FULL SAIL</a><br /><br /> + 142. <a href="#link268">A MODEL BOARDING HOUSE</a><br /><br /> 143. <a + href="#link271">LIFE AMID DEATH</a><br /><br /> 144. <a href="#link273">A + JUMP FOR LIFE</a><br /><br /> 145. <a href="#link275">"STOVE HEAP GONE"</a><br /><br /> + 146. <a href="#link279">INTERVIEWING THE "WIDE WEST"</a><br /><br /> 147. <a + href="#link280">WORTH A MILLION</a><br /><br /> 148. <a href="#link282">MILLIONAIRES + LAYING PLANS</a><br /><br /> 149. <a href="#link287">DANGEROUSLY SICK</a><br /><br /> + 150. <a href="#link288">WORTH NOTHING</a><br /><br /> 151. <a href="#link294">THE + COMPROMISE</a><br /><br /> 152. <a href="#link293">ONE OF MY FAILURES</a><br /><br /> + 153. <a href="#link294">TARGET SHOOTING</a><br /><br /> 154. <a + href="#link295">AS CITY EDITOR</a><br /><br /> 155. <a href="#link296">THE + ENTIRE MARKET</a><br /><br /> 156. <a href="#link297">A FRIEND INDEED</a><br /><br /> + 157. <a href="#link298">UNION-TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> 158. <a + href="#link301">AN EDUCATIONAL REPORT</a><br /><br /> 159. <a href="#link302">NO + PARTICULAR HURRY</a><br /><br /> 160. <a href="#link304">VIEW OF VIRGINIA + CITY AND MT. DAVIDSON</a><br /><br /> 161. <a href="#link307">A NEW MINE</a><br /><br /> + 162. <a href="#link309">TRY A FEW</a><br /><br /> 163. <a href="#link310">PORTRAIT + OF MR. STEWART</a><br /><br /> 164. <a href="#link311">SELLING A MINE</a><br /><br /> + 165. <a href="#link315">COULDN'T WAIT</a><br /><br /> 166. <a href="#link317">THE + GREAT "FLOUR SACS" PROCESSION</a><br /><br /> 167. <a href="#link319">TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> + 168. <a href="#link321">A NABOB</a><br /><br /> 169. <a href="#link323">MAGNIFICENCE + AND MISERY</a><br /><br /> 170. <a href="#link326">A FRIENDLY DRIVER</a><br /><br /> + 171. <a href="#link327">ASTONISHES THE NATIVES</a><br /><br /> 172. <a + href="#link328">COL. JACK WEAKENS</a><br /><br /> 173. <a href="#link331">SCOTTY + BRIGGS AND THE MINISTER</a><br /><br /> 174. <a href="#link335">REGULATING + MATTERS</a><br /><br /> 175. <a href="#link337">DIDN'T SHOOK HIS MOTHER</a><br /><br /> + 176. <a href="#link338">SCOTTY AS S. S. TEACHER</a><br /><br /> 177. <a + href="#link340">THE MAN WHO HAD KILLED HIS DOZEN</a><br /><br /> 178. <a + href="#link342">THE UNPREJUDICED JURY</a><br /><br /> 179. <a href="#link344">A + DESPERADO GIVING REFERENCE</a><br /><br /> 180. <a href="#link346">SATISFYING + A FOE</a><br /><br /> 181. <a href="#link351">TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> 182. + <a href="#link353">GIVING INFORMATION</a><br /><br /> 183. <a href="#link355">A + WALKING BATTERY</a><br /><br /> 184. <a href="#link358">OVERHAULING HIS + MANIFEST</a><br /><br /> 185. <a href="#link359">SHIP-TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> + 186. <a href="#link361">THE HEROES AND HEROINES OF THE STORY</a><br /><br /> + 187. <a href="#link362">DISSOLUTE AUTHOR</a><br /><br /> 188. <a + href="#link365">THERE SAT THE LAWYER</a><br /><br /> 189. <a href="#link367">JONAH + OUTDONE</a><br /><br /> 190. <a href="#link370">DOLLINGER</a><br /><br /> 191. + <a href="#link371">LOW BRIDGE</a><br /><br /> 192. <a href="#link372">SHORTENING + SAIL</a><br /><br /> 193. <a href="#link374">LIGHTENING SHIP</a><br /><br /> + 194. <a href="#link375">THE MARVELLOUS RESCUE</a><br /><br /> 195. <a + href="#link377">SILVER BRICKS</a><br /><br /> 196. <a href="#link379">TIMBER + SUPPORTS</a><br /><br /> 197. <a href="#link380">FROM GALLERY TO GALLERY</a><br /><br /> + 198. <a href="#link384">JIM BLAINE</a><br /><br /> 199. <a href="#link385">HURRAH + FOR NIXON</a><br /><br /> 200. <a href="#link386">MISS WAGNER</a><br /><br /> + 201. <a href="#link387">WAITING FOR A CUSTOMER</a><br /><br /> 202. <a + href="#link388">WAS TO BE THERE</a><br /><br /> 209. <a href="#link389">THE + MONUMENT</a><br /><br /> 205. <a href="#link390">WHERE IS THE RAM-TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> + 205. <a href="#link392">CHINESE WASH BILL</a><br /><br /> 206. <a + href="#link393">IMITATION</a><br /><br /> 207. <a href="#link396">CHINESE + LOTTERY</a><br /><br /> 208. <a href="#link397">CHINESE MERCHANT AT HOME</a><br /><br /> + 209. <a href="#link399">AN OLD FRIEND</a><br /><br /> 210. <a href="#link403">FAREWELL + AND ACCIDENT</a><br /><br /> 211. <a href="#link404">"GIMME A CIGAR"</a><br /><br /> + 212. <a href="#link406">THE HERALD OF GLAD NEWS</a><br /><br /> 213. <a + href="#link407">FLAG-TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> 214. <a href="#link409">A + NEW ENGLAND SCENE</a><br /><br /> 215. <a href="#link410">A VARIABLE CLIMATE</a><br /><br /> + 216. <a href="#link413">SACRAMENTO AND THREE NODES AWAY</a><br /><br /> 217. + <a href="#link416">"FETCH HER OUT ...</a><br /><br /> 218. <a href="#link417">"WELL + IF IT AINT A CHILD ...</a><br /><br /> 219. <a href="#link418">A GENUINE + LIVE WOMAN</a><br /><br /> 220. <a href="#link420">THE GRACE OF A KANGAROO</a><br /><br /> + 221. <a href="#link421">DREAMS DISSIPATED</a><br /><br /> 222. <a + href="#link422">THE "ONE HORSE SHAY" OUTDONE</a><br /><br /> 223. <a + href="#link423a">HARD ON THE INNOCENTS</a><br /><br /> 224. <a + href="#link423b">DRY BONES SHAKEN</a><br /><br /> 225. <a href="#link424">"OH! + WHAT, SHALL I DO!...</a><br /><br /> 226. <a href="#link425">"GET OUT YOUR + TOWEL MY DEAR"</a><br /><br /> 227. <a href="#link426">"WE WILL OMIT THE + BENEDICTION...</a><br /><br /> 228. <a href="#link429">SLINKING</a><br /><br /> + 229. <a href="#link431">A PRIZE</a><br /><br /> 230. <a href="#link432">A + LOOK IN AT THE WINDOW</a><br /><br /> 231. <a href="#link433">"DO IT + STRANGER"</a><br /><br /> 232. <a href="#link436">THE OLD COLLEGIATE</a><br /><br /> + 233. <a href="#link437">STRIKING A POCKET</a><br /><br /> 234. <a + href="#link440">TOM QUARTZ</a><br /><br /> 235. <a href="#link441">AN + ADVANTAGE TAKEN</a><br /><br /> 236. <a href="#link442">AFTER AN EXCURSION</a><br /><br /> + 237. <a href="#link445">THE THREE CAPTAINS</a><br /><br /> 238. <a + href="#link448">THE OLD ADMIRAL</a><br /><br /> 239. <a href="#link449">THE + DESERTED FIELD</a><br /><br /> 240. <a href="#link453">WILLIAMS</a><br /><br /> + 241. <a href="#link455">SCENE ON THE SANDWICH ISLANDS</a><br /><br /> 242. + <a href="#link456">FASHIONABLE ATTIRE</a><br /><br /> 243. <a href="#link457">A + BITE</a><br /><br /> 244. <a href="#link458">RECONNOITERING</a><br /><br /> + 246. <a href="#link461">LOOKING FOR MISCHIEF</a><br /><br /> 247. <a + href="#link462">A FAMILY LIKENESS</a><br /><br /> 248. <a href="#link467">SIT + DOWN To LISTEN</a><br /><br /> 249. <a href="#link469">"MY BROTHER, WE + TWINS"</a><br /><br /> 250. <a href="#link470">EXTRAORDINARY CAPERS</a><br /><br /> + 251. <a href="#link471">A LOAD OF HAY</a><br /><br /> 252. <a href="#link472">MARCHING + THROUGH GEORGIA</a><br /><br /> 253. <a href="#link474">SANDWICH ISLAND + GIRLS</a><br /><br /> 254. <a href="#link475">ORIGINAL HAM SANDWICH</a><br /><br /> + 255. <a href="#link478">"I KISSED HIM FOR HIS MOTHER"</a><br /><br /> 256. + <a href="#link479">AN OUTSIDER</a><br /><br /> 257. <a href="#link482">AN + ENEMY'S PRAYER</a><br /><br /> 258. <a href="#link484">VISITING THE + MISSIONARIES</a><br /><br /> 259. <a href="#link485">FULL CHURCH DRESS</a><br /><br /> + 260. <a href="#link486">PLAYING EMPIRE</a><br /><br /> 261. <a + href="#link488">ROYALTY AND ITS SATELLITES</a><br /><br /> 262. <a + href="#link489">A HIGH PRIVATE</a><br /><br /> 263. <a href="#link492">A + MODERN FUNERAL</a><br /><br /> 264. <a href="#link497">FORMER FUNERAL ORGIES</a><br /><br /> + 265. <a href="#link499">A PASSENGER</a><br /><br /> 266. <a href="#link501">MOONLIGHT + ON THE WATER</a><br /><br /> 267. <a href="#link502">GOING INTO THE + MOUNTAINS</a><br /><br /> 268. <a href="#link503">EVENING</a><br /><br /> 289. + <a href="#link505">THE DEMENTED</a><br /><br /> 270. <a href="#link507">DISCUSSING + TURNIPS</a><br /><br /> 271. <a href="#link509">GREELEY'S LETTER</a><br /><br /> + 272. <a href="#link514">KEALAKEKUA BAY AND COOK'S MONUMENT</a><br /><br /> + 273. <a href="#link518">THE GHOSTLY BUILDERS</a><br /><br /> 274. <a + href="#link519">ON GUARD</a><br /><br /> 275. <a href="#link521">BREAKING + THE TABU</a><br /><br /> 276. <a href="#link525">SURF BATHING</a><br /><br /> + 277. <a href="#link526">SURF BATHING A FAILURE</a><br /><br /> 278. <a + href="#link527">CITY OF REFUGE</a><br /><br /> 279. <a href="#link529">THE + QUEEN'S ROCK</a><br /><br /> 280. <a href="#link531">TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> + 281. <a href="#link533">THE PILLAR OF FIRE</a><br /><br /> 282. <a + href="#link535">THE CRATER</a><br /><br /> 283. <a href="#link539">BROKE + THROUGH</a><br /><br /> 284. <a href="#link540">FIRE FOUNTAINS</a><br /><br /> + 285. <a href="#link542">LAVA STREAM</a><br /><br /> 286. <a href="#link543">A + TIDAL WAVE</a><br /><br /> 287. <a href="#link545">TRIP ON THE MILKY WAY</a><br /><br /> + 288. <a href="#link547">A VIEW IN THE TAO VALLEY</a><br /><br /> 289. <a + href="#link549">MAGNIFICENT SPORT</a><br /><br /> 290. <a href="#link553">ELEVEN + MILES TO SEE</a><br /><br /> 291. <a href="#link554">CHASED BY A STORM</a><br /><br /> + 292. <a href="#link555">LEAVING WORK</a><br /><br /> 293. <a href="#link557">TAIL-PIECE</a><br /><br /> + 294. <a href="#link559">OUR AMUSEMENTS</a><br /><br /> 295. <a + href="#link561">SEVERE CASE OF STAGE FRIGHT</a><br /><br /> 296. <a + href="#link562">MY THREE PARQUETTE ALLIES</a><br /><br /> 297. <a + href="#link562">SAWYER IN THE CIRCLE</a><br /><br /> 298. <a href="#link567">A + PREDICAMENT</a><br /><br /> 299. <a href="#link569">THE BEST OF THE JOKE</a><br /><br /> + 300. <a href="#link570">THE END</a><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch01" id="linkch01"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territory—an + office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and + dignities of Treasurer, Comptroller, Secretary of State, and Acting + Governor in the Governor's absence. A salary of eighteen hundred dollars a + year and the title of "Mr. Secretary," gave to the great position an air + of wild and imposing grandeur. I was young and ignorant, and I envied my + brother. I coveted his distinction and his financial splendor, but + particularly and especially the long, strange journey he was going to + make, and the curious new world he was going to explore. He was going to + travel! I never had been away from home, and that word "travel" had a + seductive charm for me. Pretty soon he would be hundreds and hundreds of + miles away on the great plains and deserts, and among the mountains of the + Far West, and would see buffaloes and Indians, and prairie dogs, and + antelopes, and have all kinds of adventures, and may be get hanged or + scalped, and have ever such a fine time, and write home and tell us all + about it, and be a hero. And he would see the gold mines and the silver + mines, and maybe go about of an afternoon when his work was done, and pick + up two or three pailfuls of shining slugs, and nuggets of gold and silver + on the hillside. And by and by he would become very rich, and return home + by sea, and be able to talk as calmly about San Francisco and the ocean, + and "the isthmus" as if it was nothing of any consequence to have seen + those marvels face to face. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link020" id="link020"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="020.jpg (69K)" src="images/020.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + What I suffered in contemplating his happiness, pen cannot describe. And + so, when he offered me, in cold blood, the sublime position of private + secretary under him, it appeared to me that the heavens and the earth + passed away, and the firmament was rolled together as a scroll! I had + nothing more to desire. My contentment was complete. + </p> + <p> + At the end of an hour or two I was ready for the journey. Not much packing + up was necessary, because we were going in the overland stage from the + Missouri frontier to Nevada, and passengers were only allowed a small + quantity of baggage apiece. There was no Pacific railroad in those fine + times of ten or twelve years ago—not a single rail of it. I only + proposed to stay in Nevada three months—I had no thought of staying + longer than that. I meant to see all I could that was new and strange, and + then hurry home to business. I little thought that I would not see the end + of that three-month pleasure excursion for six or seven uncommonly long + years! + </p> + <p> + I dreamed all night about Indians, deserts, and silver bars, and in due + time, next day, we took shipping at the St. Louis wharf on board a + steamboat bound up the Missouri River. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link021" id="link021"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="021.jpg (82K)" src="images/021.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We were six days going from St. Louis to "St. Jo."—a trip that was + so dull, and sleepy, and eventless that it has left no more impression on + my memory than if its duration had been six minutes instead of that many + days. No record is left in my mind, now, concerning it, but a confused + jumble of savage-looking snags, which we deliberately walked over with one + wheel or the other; and of reefs which we butted and butted, and then + retired from and climbed over in some softer place; and of sand-bars which + we roosted on occasionally, and rested, and then got out our crutches and + sparred over. + </p> + <p> + In fact, the boat might almost as well have gone to St. Jo. by land, for + she was walking most of the time, anyhow—climbing over reefs and + clambering over snags patiently and laboriously all day long. The captain + said she was a "bully" boat, and all she wanted was more "shear" and a + bigger wheel. I thought she wanted a pair of stilts, but I had the deep + sagacity not to say so. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch02" id="linkch02"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + The first thing we did on that glad evening that landed us at St. Joseph + was to hunt up the stage-office, and pay a hundred and fifty dollars + apiece for tickets per overland coach to Carson City, Nevada. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link023a" id="link023a"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="023a.jpg (31K)" src="images/023a.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The next morning, bright and early, we took a hasty breakfast, and hurried + to the starting-place. Then an inconvenience presented itself which we had + not properly appreciated before, namely, that one cannot make a heavy + traveling trunk stand for twenty-five pounds of baggage—because it + weighs a good deal more. But that was all we could take—twenty-five + pounds each. So we had to snatch our trunks open, and make a selection in + a good deal of a hurry. We put our lawful twenty-five pounds apiece all in + one valise, and shipped the trunks back to St. Louis again. It was a sad + parting, for now we had no swallow-tail coats and white kid gloves to wear + at Pawnee receptions in the Rocky Mountains, and no stove-pipe hats nor + patent-leather boots, nor anything else necessary to make life calm and + peaceful. We were reduced to a war-footing. Each of us put on a rough, + heavy suit of clothing, woolen army shirt and "stogy" boots included; and + into the valise we crowded a few white shirts, some under-clothing and + such things. My brother, the Secretary, took along about four pounds of + United States statutes and six pounds of Unabridged Dictionary; for we did + not know—poor innocents—that such things could be bought in + San Francisco on one day and received in Carson City the next. I was armed + to the teeth with a pitiful little Smith & Wesson's seven-shooter, + which carried a ball like a homoeopathic pill, and it took the whole seven + to make a dose for an adult. But I thought it was grand. It appeared to me + to be a dangerous weapon. It only had one fault—you could not hit + anything with it. One of our "conductors" practiced awhile on a cow with + it, and as long as she stood still and behaved herself she was safe; but + as soon as she went to moving about, and he got to shooting at other + things, she came to grief. The Secretary had a small-sized Colt's revolver + strapped around him for protection against the Indians, and to guard + against accidents he carried it uncapped. Mr. George Bemis was dismally + formidable. George Bemis was our fellow-traveler. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link023b" id="link023b"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="023b.jpg (11K)" src="images/023b.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We had never seen him before. He wore in his belt an old original "Allen" + revolver, such as irreverent people called a "pepper-box." Simply drawing + the trigger back, cocked and fired the pistol. As the trigger came back, + the hammer would begin to rise and the barrel to turn over, and presently + down would drop the hammer, and away would speed the ball. To aim along + the turning barrel and hit the thing aimed at was a feat which was + probably never done with an "Allen" in the world. But George's was a + reliable weapon, nevertheless, because, as one of the stage-drivers + afterward said, "If she didn't get what she went after, she would fetch + something else." And so she did. She went after a deuce of spades nailed + against a tree, once, and fetched a mule standing about thirty yards to + the left of it. Bemis did not want the mule; but the owner came out with a + double-barreled shotgun and persuaded him to buy it, anyhow. It was a + cheerful weapon—the "Allen." Sometimes all its six barrels would go + off at once, and then there was no safe place in all the region round + about, but behind it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link024" id="link024"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="024.jpg (96K)" src="images/024.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We took two or three blankets for protection against frosty weather in the + mountains. In the matter of luxuries we were modest—we took none + along but some pipes and five pounds of smoking tobacco. We had two large + canteens to carry water in, between stations on the Plains, and we also + took with us a little shot-bag of silver coin for daily expenses in the + way of breakfasts and dinners. + </p> + <p> + By eight o'clock everything was ready, and we were on the other side of + the river. We jumped into the stage, the driver cracked his whip, and we + bowled away and left "the States" behind us. It was a superb summer + morning, and all the landscape was brilliant with sunshine. There was a + freshness and breeziness, too, and an exhilarating sense of emancipation + from all sorts of cares and responsibilities, that almost made us feel + that the years we had spent in the close, hot city, toiling and slaving, + had been wasted and thrown away. We were spinning along through Kansas, + and in the course of an hour and a half we were fairly abroad on the great + Plains. Just here the land was rolling—a grand sweep of regular + elevations and depressions as far as the eye could reach—like the + stately heave and swell of the ocean's bosom after a storm. And everywhere + were cornfields, accenting with squares of deeper green, this limitless + expanse of grassy land. But presently this sea upon dry ground was to lose + its "rolling" character and stretch away for seven hundred miles as level + as a floor! + </p> + <p> + Our coach was a great swinging and swaying stage, of the most sumptuous + description—an imposing cradle on wheels. It was drawn by six + handsome horses, and by the side of the driver sat the "conductor," the + legitimate captain of the craft; for it was his business to take charge + and care of the mails, baggage, express matter, and passengers. We three + were the only passengers, this trip. We sat on the back seat, inside. + About all the rest of the coach was full of mail bags—for we had + three days' delayed mails with us. Almost touching our knees, a + perpendicular wall of mail matter rose up to the roof. There was a great + pile of it strapped on top of the stage, and both the fore and hind boots + were full. We had twenty-seven hundred pounds of it aboard, the driver + said—"a little for Brigham, and Carson, and 'Frisco, but the heft of + it for the Injuns, which is powerful troublesome 'thout they get plenty of + truck to read." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link026" id="link026"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="026.jpg (65K)" src="images/026.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But as he just then got up a fearful convulsion of his countenance which + was suggestive of a wink being swallowed by an earthquake, we guessed that + his remark was intended to be facetious, and to mean that we would unload + the most of our mail matter somewhere on the Plains and leave it to the + Indians, or whosoever wanted it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link025" id="link025"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="025.jpg (32K)" src="images/025.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We changed horses every ten miles, all day long, and fairly flew over the + hard, level road. We jumped out and stretched our legs every time the + coach stopped, and so the night found us still vivacious and unfatigued. + </p> + <p> + After supper a woman got in, who lived about fifty miles further on, and + we three had to take turns at sitting outside with the driver and + conductor. Apparently she was not a talkative woman. She would sit there + in the gathering twilight and fasten her steadfast eyes on a mosquito + rooting into her arm, and slowly she would raise her other hand till she + had got his range, and then she would launch a slap at him that would have + jolted a cow; and after that she would sit and contemplate the corpse with + tranquil satisfaction—for she never missed her mosquito; she was a + dead shot at short range. She never removed a carcase, but left them there + for bait. I sat by this grim Sphynx and watched her kill thirty or forty + mosquitoes—watched her, and waited for her to say something, but she + never did. So I finally opened the conversation myself. I said: + </p> + <p> + "The mosquitoes are pretty bad, about here, madam." + </p> + <p> + "You bet!" + </p> + <p> + "What did I understand you to say, madam?" + </p> + <p> + "You BET!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link027" id="link027"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="027.jpg (31K)" src="images/027.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Then she cheered up, and faced around and said: + </p> + <p> + "Danged if I didn't begin to think you fellers was deef and dumb. I did, + b'gosh. Here I've sot, and sot, and sot, a-bust'n muskeeters and wonderin' + what was ailin' ye. Fust I thot you was deef and dumb, then I thot you was + sick or crazy, or suthin', and then by and by I begin to reckon you was a + passel of sickly fools that couldn't think of nothing to say. Wher'd ye + come from?" + </p> + <p> + The Sphynx was a Sphynx no more! The fountains of her great deep were + broken up, and she rained the nine parts of speech forty days and forty + nights, metaphorically speaking, and buried us under a desolating deluge + of trivial gossip that left not a crag or pinnacle of rejoinder projecting + above the tossing waste of dislocated grammar and decomposed + pronunciation! + </p> + <p> + How we suffered, suffered, suffered! She went on, hour after hour, till I + was sorry I ever opened the mosquito question and gave her a start. She + never did stop again until she got to her journey's end toward daylight; + and then she stirred us up as she was leaving the stage (for we were + nodding, by that time), and said: + </p> + <p> + "Now you git out at Cottonwood, you fellers, and lay over a couple o' + days, and I'll be along some time to-night, and if I can do ye any good by + edgin' in a word now and then, I'm right thar. Folks'll tell you't I've + always ben kind o' offish and partic'lar for a gal that's raised in the + woods, and I am, with the rag-tag and bob-tail, and a gal has to be, if + she wants to be anything, but when people comes along which is my equals, + I reckon I'm a pretty sociable heifer after all." + </p> + <p> + We resolved not to "lay by at Cottonwood." + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch03" id="linkch03"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + About an hour and a half before daylight we were bowling along smoothly + over the road—so smoothly that our cradle only rocked in a gentle, + lulling way, that was gradually soothing us to sleep, and dulling our + consciousness—when something gave away under us! We were dimly aware + of it, but indifferent to it. The coach stopped. We heard the driver and + conductor talking together outside, and rummaging for a lantern, and + swearing because they could not find it—but we had no interest in + whatever had happened, and it only added to our comfort to think of those + people out there at work in the murky night, and we snug in our nest with + the curtains drawn. But presently, by the sounds, there seemed to be an + examination going on, and then the driver's voice said: + </p> + <p> + "By George, the thoroughbrace is broke!" + </p> + <p> + This startled me broad awake—as an undefined sense of calamity is + always apt to do. I said to myself: "Now, a thoroughbrace is probably part + of a horse; and doubtless a vital part, too, from the dismay in the + driver's voice. Leg, maybe—and yet how could he break his leg + waltzing along such a road as this? No, it can't be his leg. That is + impossible, unless he was reaching for the driver. Now, what can be the + thoroughbrace of a horse, I wonder? Well, whatever comes, I shall not air + my ignorance in this crowd, anyway." + </p> + <p> + Just then the conductor's face appeared at a lifted curtain, and his + lantern glared in on us and our wall of mail matter. He said: "Gents, + you'll have to turn out a spell. Thoroughbrace is broke." + </p> + <p> + We climbed out into a chill drizzle, and felt ever so homeless and dreary. + When I found that the thing they called a "thoroughbrace" was the massive + combination of belts and springs which the coach rocks itself in, I said + to the driver: + </p> + <p> + "I never saw a thoroughbrace used up like that, before, that I can + remember. How did it happen?" + </p> + <p> + "Why, it happened by trying to make one coach carry three days' mail—that's + how it happened," said he. "And right here is the very direction which is + wrote on all the newspaper-bags which was to be put out for the Injuns for + to keep 'em quiet. It's most uncommon lucky, becuz it's so nation dark I + should 'a' gone by unbeknowns if that air thoroughbrace hadn't broke." + </p> + <p> + I knew that he was in labor with another of those winks of his, though I + could not see his face, because he was bent down at work; and wishing him + a safe delivery, I turned to and helped the rest get out the mail-sacks. + It made a great pyramid by the roadside when it was all out. When they had + mended the thoroughbrace we filled the two boots again, but put no mail on + top, and only half as much inside as there was before. The conductor bent + all the seat-backs down, and then filled the coach just half full of + mail-bags from end to end. We objected loudly to this, for it left us no + seats. But the conductor was wiser than we, and said a bed was better than + seats, and moreover, this plan would protect his thoroughbraces. We never + wanted any seats after that. The lazy bed was infinitely preferable. I had + many an exciting day, subsequently, lying on it reading the statutes and + the dictionary, and wondering how the characters would turn out. + </p> + <p> + The conductor said he would send back a guard from the next station to + take charge of the abandoned mail-bags, and we drove on. + </p> + <p> + It was now just dawn; and as we stretched our cramped legs full length on + the mail sacks, and gazed out through the windows across the wide wastes + of greensward clad in cool, powdery mist, to where there was an expectant + look in the eastern horizon, our perfect enjoyment took the form of a + tranquil and contented ecstasy. The stage whirled along at a spanking + gait, the breeze flapping curtains and suspended coats in a most + exhilarating way; the cradle swayed and swung luxuriously, the pattering + of the horses' hoofs, the cracking of the driver's whip, and his "Hi-yi! + g'lang!" were music; the spinning ground and the waltzing trees appeared + to give us a mute hurrah as we went by, and then slack up and look after + us with interest, or envy, or something; and as we lay and smoked the pipe + of peace and compared all this luxury with the years of tiresome city life + that had gone before it, we felt that there was only one complete and + satisfying happiness in the world, and we had found it. + </p> + <p> + After breakfast, at some station whose name I have forgotten, we three + climbed up on the seat behind the driver, and let the conductor have our + bed for a nap. And by and by, when the sun made me drowsy, I lay down on + my face on top of the coach, grasping the slender iron railing, and slept + for an hour or more. That will give one an appreciable idea of those + matchless roads. Instinct will make a sleeping man grip a fast hold of the + railing when the stage jolts, but when it only swings and sways, no grip + is necessary. Overland drivers and conductors used to sit in their places + and sleep thirty or forty minutes at a time, on good roads, while spinning + along at the rate of eight or ten miles an hour. I saw them do it, often. + There was no danger about it; a sleeping man will seize the irons in time + when the coach jolts. These men were hard worked, and it was not possible + for them to stay awake all the time. + </p> + <p> + By and by we passed through Marysville, and over the Big Blue and Little + Sandy; thence about a mile, and entered Nebraska. About a mile further on, + we came to the Big Sandy—one hundred and eighty miles from St. + Joseph. + </p> + <p> + As the sun was going down, we saw the first specimen of an animal known + familiarly over two thousand miles of mountain and desert—from + Kansas clear to the Pacific Ocean—as the "jackass rabbit." He is + well named. He is just like any other rabbit, except that he is from one + third to twice as large, has longer legs in proportion to his size, and + has the most preposterous ears that ever were mounted on any creature but + a jackass. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link032" id="link032"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="032.jpg (27K)" src="images/032.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + When he is sitting quiet, thinking about his sins, or is absent-minded or + unapprehensive of danger, his majestic ears project above him + conspicuously; but the breaking of a twig will scare him nearly to death, + and then he tilts his ears back gently and starts for home. All you can + see, then, for the next minute, is his long gray form stretched out + straight and "streaking it" through the low sage-brush, head erect, eyes + right, and ears just canted a little to the rear, but showing you where + the animal is, all the time, the same as if he carried a jib. Now and then + he makes a marvelous spring with his long legs, high over the stunted + sage-brush, and scores a leap that would make a horse envious. Presently + he comes down to a long, graceful "lope," and shortly he mysteriously + disappears. He has crouched behind a sage-bush, and will sit there and + listen and tremble until you get within six feet of him, when he will get + under way again. But one must shoot at this creature once, if he wishes to + see him throw his heart into his heels, and do the best he knows how. He + is frightened clear through, now, and he lays his long ears down on his + back, straightens himself out like a yard-stick every spring he makes, and + scatters miles behind him with an easy indifference that is enchanting. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link033a" id="link033a"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="033a.jpg (35K)" src="images/033a.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Our party made this specimen "hump himself," as the conductor said. The + secretary started him with a shot from the Colt; I commenced spitting at + him with my weapon; and all in the same instant the old "Allen's" whole + broadside let go with a rattling crash, and it is not putting it too + strong to say that the rabbit was frantic! He dropped his ears, set up his + tail, and left for San Francisco at a speed which can only be described as + a flash and a vanish! Long after he was out of sight we could hear him + whiz. + </p> + <p> + I do not remember where we first came across "sage-brush," but as I have + been speaking of it I may as well describe it. + </p> + <p> + This is easily done, for if the reader can imagine a gnarled and venerable + live oak-tree reduced to a little shrub two feet-high, with its rough + bark, its foliage, its twisted boughs, all complete, he can picture the + "sage-brush" exactly. Often, on lazy afternoons in the mountains, I have + lain on the ground with my face under a sage-bush, and entertained myself + with fancying that the gnats among its foliage were liliputian birds, and + that the ants marching and countermarching about its base were liliputian + flocks and herds, and myself some vast loafer from Brobdignag waiting to + catch a little citizen and eat him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link033b" id="link033b"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="033b.jpg (30K)" src="images/033b.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It is an imposing monarch of the forest in exquisite miniature, is the + "sage-brush." Its foliage is a grayish green, and gives that tint to + desert and mountain. It smells like our domestic sage, and "sage-tea" made + from it taste like the sage-tea which all boys are so well acquainted + with. The sage-brush is a singularly hardy plant, and grows right in the + midst of deep sand, and among barren rocks, where nothing else in the + vegetable world would try to grow, except "bunch-grass."—["Bunch-grass" + grows on the bleak mountain-sides of Nevada and neighboring territories, + and offers excellent feed for stock, even in the dead of winter, wherever + the snow is blown aside and exposes it; notwithstanding its unpromising + home, bunch-grass is a better and more nutritious diet for cattle and + horses than almost any other hay or grass that is known—so stock-men + say.]—The sage-bushes grow from three to six or seven feet apart, + all over the mountains and deserts of the Far West, clear to the borders + of California. There is not a tree of any kind in the deserts, for + hundreds of miles—there is no vegetation at all in a regular desert, + except the sage-brush and its cousin the "greasewood," which is so much + like the sage-brush that the difference amounts to little. Camp-fires and + hot suppers in the deserts would be impossible but for the friendly + sage-brush. Its trunk is as large as a boy's wrist (and from that up to a + man's arm), and its crooked branches are half as large as its trunk—all + good, sound, hard wood, very like oak. + </p> + <p> + When a party camps, the first thing to be done is to cut sage-brush; and + in a few minutes there is an opulent pile of it ready for use. A hole a + foot wide, two feet deep, and two feet long, is dug, and sage-brush + chopped up and burned in it till it is full to the brim with glowing + coals. Then the cooking begins, and there is no smoke, and consequently no + swearing. Such a fire will keep all night, with very little replenishing; + and it makes a very sociable camp-fire, and one around which the most + impossible reminiscences sound plausible, instructive, and profoundly + entertaining. + </p> + <p> + Sage-brush is very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished + failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his + illegitimate child the mule. But their testimony to its nutritiousness is + worth nothing, for they will eat pine knots, or anthracite coal, or brass + filings, or lead pipe, or old bottles, or anything that comes handy, and + then go off looking as grateful as if they had had oysters for dinner. + Mules and donkeys and camels have appetites that anything will relieve + temporarily, but nothing satisfy. + </p> + <p> + In Syria, once, at the head-waters of the Jordan, a camel took charge of + my overcoat while the tents were being pitched, and examined it with a + critical eye, all over, with as much interest as if he had an idea of + getting one made like it; and then, after he was done figuring on it as an + article of apparel, he began to contemplate it as an article of diet. He + put his foot on it, and lifted one of the sleeves out with his teeth, and + chewed and chewed at it, gradually taking it in, and all the while opening + and closing his eyes in a kind of religious ecstasy, as if he had never + tasted anything as good as an overcoat before, in his life. Then he + smacked his lips once or twice, and reached after the other sleeve. Next + he tried the velvet collar, and smiled a smile of such contentment that it + was plain to see that he regarded that as the daintiest thing about an + overcoat. The tails went next, along with some percussion caps and cough + candy, and some fig-paste from Constantinople. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link035" id="link035"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="035.jpg (95K)" src="images/035.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And then my newspaper correspondence dropped out, and he took a chance in + that—manuscript letters written for the home papers. But he was + treading on dangerous ground, now. He began to come across solid wisdom in + those documents that was rather weighty on his stomach; and occasionally + he would take a joke that would shake him up till it loosened his teeth; + it was getting to be perilous times with him, but he held his grip with + good courage and hopefully, till at last he began to stumble on statements + that not even a camel could swallow with impunity. He began to gag and + gasp, and his eyes to stand out, and his forelegs to spread, and in about + a quarter of a minute he fell over as stiff as a carpenter's work-bench, + and died a death of indescribable agony. I went and pulled the manuscript + out of his mouth, and found that the sensitive creature had choked to + death on one of the mildest and gentlest statements of fact that I ever + laid before a trusting public. + </p> + <p> + I was about to say, when diverted from my subject, that occasionally one + finds sage-bushes five or six feet high, and with a spread of branch and + foliage in proportion, but two or two and a half feet is the usual height. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch04" id="linkch04"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + As the sun went down and the evening chill came on, we made preparation + for bed. We stirred up the hard leather letter-sacks, and the knotty + canvas bags of printed matter (knotty and uneven because of projecting + ends and corners of magazines, boxes and books). We stirred them up and + redisposed them in such a way as to make our bed as level as possible. And + we did improve it, too, though after all our work it had an upheaved and + billowy look about it, like a little piece of a stormy sea. Next we hunted + up our boots from odd nooks among the mail-bags where they had settled, + and put them on. Then we got down our coats, vests, pantaloons and heavy + woolen shirts, from the arm-loops where they had been swinging all day, + and clothed ourselves in them—for, there being no ladies either at + the stations or in the coach, and the weather being hot, we had looked to + our comfort by stripping to our underclothing, at nine o'clock in the + morning. All things being now ready, we stowed the uneasy Dictionary where + it would lie as quiet as possible, and placed the water-canteens and + pistols where we could find them in the dark. Then we smoked a final pipe, + and swapped a final yarn; after which, we put the pipes, tobacco and bag + of coin in snug holes and caves among the mail-bags, and then fastened + down the coach curtains all around, and made the place as "dark as the + inside of a cow," as the conductor phrased it in his picturesque way. It + was certainly as dark as any place could be—nothing was even dimly + visible in it. And finally, we rolled ourselves up like silk- worms, each + person in his own blanket, and sank peacefully to sleep. + </p> + <p> + Whenever the stage stopped to change horses, we would wake up, and try to + recollect where we were—and succeed—and in a minute or two the + stage would be off again, and we likewise. We began to get into country, + now, threaded here and there with little streams. These had high, steep + banks on each side, and every time we flew down one bank and scrambled up + the other, our party inside got mixed somewhat. First we would all be down + in a pile at the forward end of the stage, nearly in a sitting posture, + and in a second we would shoot to the other end, and stand on our heads. + And we would sprawl and kick, too, and ward off ends and corners of mail- + bags that came lumbering over us and about us; and as the dust rose from + the tumult, we would all sneeze in chorus, and the majority of us would + grumble, and probably say some hasty thing, like: "Take your elbow out of + my ribs!—can't you quit crowding?" + </p> + <p> + Every time we avalanched from one end of the stage to the other, the + Unabridged Dictionary would come too; and every time it came it damaged + somebody. One trip it "barked" the Secretary's elbow; the next trip it + hurt me in the stomach, and the third it tilted Bemis's nose up till he + could look down his nostrils—he said. The pistols and coin soon + settled to the bottom, but the pipes, pipe-stems, tobacco and canteens + clattered and floundered after the Dictionary every time it made an + assault on us, and aided and abetted the book by spilling tobacco in our + eyes, and water down our backs. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link038" id="link038"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="038.jpg (54K)" src="images/038.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Still, all things considered, it was a very comfortable night. It wore + gradually away, and when at last a cold gray light was visible through the + puckers and chinks in the curtains, we yawned and stretched with + satisfaction, shed our cocoons, and felt that we had slept as much as was + necessary. By and by, as the sun rose up and warmed the world, we pulled + off our clothes and got ready for breakfast. We were just pleasantly in + time, for five minutes afterward the driver sent the weird music of his + bugle winding over the grassy solitudes, and presently we detected a low + hut or two in the distance. Then the rattling of the coach, the clatter of + our six horses' hoofs, and the driver's crisp commands, awoke to a louder + and stronger emphasis, and we went sweeping down on the station at our + smartest speed. It was fascinating—that old overland stagecoaching. + </p> + <p> + We jumped out in undress uniform. The driver tossed his gathered reins out + on the ground, gaped and stretched complacently, drew off his heavy + buckskin gloves with great deliberation and insufferable dignity—taking + not the slightest notice of a dozen solicitous inquires after his health, + and humbly facetious and flattering accostings, and obsequious tenders of + service, from five or six hairy and half-civilized station-keepers and + hostlers who were nimbly unhitching our steeds and bringing the fresh team + out of the stables—for in the eyes of the stage-driver of that day, + station-keepers and hostlers were a sort of good enough low creatures, + useful in their place, and helping to make up a world, but not the kind of + beings which a person of distinction could afford to concern himself with; + while, on the contrary, in the eyes of the station-keeper and the hostler, + the stage-driver was a hero—a great and shining dignitary, the + world's favorite son, the envy of the people, the observed of the nations. + When they spoke to him they received his insolent silence meekly, and as + being the natural and proper conduct of so great a man; when he opened his + lips they all hung on his words with admiration (he never honored a + particular individual with a remark, but addressed it with a broad + generality to the horses, the stables, the surrounding country and the + human underlings); when he discharged a facetious insulting personality at + a hostler, that hostler was happy for the day; when he uttered his one + jest—old as the hills, coarse, profane, witless, and inflicted on + the same audience, in the same language, every time his coach drove up + there—the varlets roared, and slapped their thighs, and swore it was + the best thing they'd ever heard in all their lives. And how they would + fly around when he wanted a basin of water, a gourd of the same, or a + light for his pipe!—but they would instantly insult a passenger if + he so far forgot himself as to crave a favor at their hands. They could do + that sort of insolence as well as the driver they copied it from—for, + let it be borne in mind, the overland driver had but little less contempt + for his passengers than he had for his hostlers. + </p> + <p> + The hostlers and station-keepers treated the really powerful conductor of + the coach merely with the best of what was their idea of civility, but the + driver was the only being they bowed down to and worshipped. How + admiringly they would gaze up at him in his high seat as he gloved himself + with lingering deliberation, while some happy hostler held the bunch of + reins aloft, and waited patiently for him to take it! And how they would + bombard him with glorifying ejaculations as he cracked his long whip and + went careering away. + </p> + <p> + The station buildings were long, low huts, made of sundried, mud-colored + bricks, laid up without mortar (adobes, the Spaniards call these bricks, + and Americans shorten it to 'dobies). The roofs, which had no slant to + them worth speaking of, were thatched and then sodded or covered with a + thick layer of earth, and from this sprung a pretty rank growth of weeds + and grass. It was the first time we had ever seen a man's front yard on + top of his house. The building consisted of barns, stable-room for twelve + or fifteen horses, and a hut for an eating-room for passengers. This + latter had bunks in it for the station-keeper and a hostler or two. You + could rest your elbow on its eaves, and you had to bend in order to get in + at the door. In place of a window there was a square hole about large + enough for a man to crawl through, but this had no glass in it. There was + no flooring, but the ground was packed hard. There was no stove, but the + fire-place served all needful purposes. There were no shelves, no + cupboards, no closets. In a corner stood an open sack of flour, and + nestling against its base were a couple of black and venerable tin + coffee-pots, a tin teapot, a little bag of salt, and a side of bacon. + </p> + <p> + By the door of the station-keeper's den, outside, was a tin wash-basin, on + the ground. Near it was a pail of water and a piece of yellow bar soap, + and from the eaves hung a hoary blue woolen shirt, significantly—but + this latter was the station-keeper's private towel, and only two persons + in all the party might venture to use it—the stage-driver and the + conductor. The latter would not, from a sense of decency; the former would + not, because did not choose to encourage the advances of a station- + keeper. We had towels—in the valise; they might as well have been in + Sodom and Gomorrah. We (and the conductor) used our handkerchiefs, and the + driver his pantaloons and sleeves. By the door, inside, was fastened a + small old-fashioned looking-glass frame, with two little fragments of the + original mirror lodged down in one corner of it. This arrangement afforded + a pleasant double-barreled portrait of you when you looked into it, with + one half of your head set up a couple of inches above the other half. From + the glass frame hung the half of a comb by a string—but if I had to + describe that patriarch or die, I believe I would order some sample + coffins. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link041" id="link041"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="041.jpg (47K)" src="images/041.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="link042a" id="link042a"></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="042a.jpg (11K)" src="images/042a.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It had come down from Esau and Samson, and had been accumulating hair ever + since—along with certain impurities. In one corner of the room stood + three or four rifles and muskets, together with horns and pouches of + ammunition. The station-men wore pantaloons of coarse, country-woven + stuff, and into the seat and the inside of the legs were sewed ample + additions of buckskin, to do duty in place of leggings, when the man rode + horseback—so the pants were half dull blue and half yellow, and + unspeakably picturesque. The pants were stuffed into the tops of high + boots, the heels whereof were armed with great Spanish spurs, whose little + iron clogs and chains jingled with every step. The man wore a huge beard + and mustachios, an old slouch hat, a blue woolen shirt, no suspenders, no + vest, no coat—in a leathern sheath in his belt, a great long "navy" + revolver (slung on right side, hammer to the front), and projecting from + his boot a horn-handled bowie-knife. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link042b" id="link042b"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="042b.jpg (42K)" src="images/042b.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The furniture of the hut was neither gorgeous nor much in the way. The + rocking-chairs and sofas were not present, and never had been, but they + were represented by two three-legged stools, a pine-board bench four feet + long, and two empty candle-boxes. The table was a greasy board on stilts, + and the table- cloth and napkins had not come—and they were not + looking for them, either. A battered tin platter, a knife and fork, and a + tin pint cup, were at each man's place, and the driver had a queens-ware + saucer that had seen better days. Of course this duke sat at the head of + the table. There was one isolated piece of table furniture that bore about + it a touching air of grandeur in misfortune. This was the caster. It was + German silver, and crippled and rusty, but it was so preposterously out of + place there that it was suggestive of a tattered exiled king among + barbarians, and the majesty of its native position compelled respect even + in its degradation. + </p> + <p> + There was only one cruet left, and that was a stopperless, fly-specked, + broken-necked thing, with two inches of vinegar in it, and a dozen + preserved flies with their heels up and looking sorry they had invested + there. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link043" id="link043"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="043.jpg (23K)" src="images/043.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The station-keeper upended a disk of last week's bread, of the shape and + size of an old-time cheese, and carved some slabs from it which were as + good as Nicholson pavement, and tenderer. + </p> + <p> + He sliced off a piece of bacon for each man, but only the experienced old + hands made out to eat it, for it was condemned army bacon which the United + States would not feed to its soldiers in the forts, and the stage company + had bought it cheap for the sustenance of their passengers and employees. + We may have found this condemned army bacon further out on the plains than + the section I am locating it in, but we found it—there is no + gainsaying that. + </p> + <p> + Then he poured for us a beverage which he called "Slum gullion," and it is + hard to think he was not inspired when he named it. It really pretended to + be tea, but there was too much dish-rag, and sand, and old bacon-rind in + it to deceive the intelligent traveler. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link044" id="link044"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="044.jpg (64K)" src="images/044.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He had no sugar and no milk—not even a spoon to stir the ingredients + with. + </p> + <p> + We could not eat the bread or the meat, nor drink the "slumgullion." And + when I looked at that melancholy vinegar-cruet, I thought of the anecdote + (a very, very old one, even at that day) of the traveler who sat down to a + table which had nothing on it but a mackerel and a pot of mustard. He + asked the landlord if this was all. The landlord said: + </p> + <p> + "All! Why, thunder and lightning, I should think there was mackerel enough + there for six." + </p> + <p> + "But I don't like mackerel." + </p> + <p> + "Oh—then help yourself to the mustard." + </p> + <p> + In other days I had considered it a good, a very good, anecdote, but there + was a dismal plausibility about it, here, that took all the humor out of + it. + </p> + <p> + Our breakfast was before us, but our teeth were idle. + </p> + <p> + I tasted and smelt, and said I would take coffee, I believed. The + station-boss stopped dead still, and glared at me speechless. At last, + when he came to, he turned away and said, as one who communes with himself + upon a matter too vast to grasp: + </p> + <p> + "Coffee! Well, if that don't go clean ahead of me, I'm d—-d!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link045" id="link045"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="045.jpg (40K)" src="images/045.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We could not eat, and there was no conversation among the hostlers and + herdsmen—we all sat at the same board. At least there was no + conversation further than a single hurried request, now and then, from one + employee to another. It was always in the same form, and always gruffly + friendly. Its western freshness and novelty startled me, at first, and + interested me; but it presently grew monotonous, and lost its charm. It + was: + </p> + <p> + "Pass the bread, you son of a skunk!" No, I forget—skunk was not the + word; it seems to me it was still stronger than that; I know it was, in + fact, but it is gone from my memory, apparently. However, it is no matter—probably + it was too strong for print, anyway. It is the landmark in my memory which + tells me where I first encountered the vigorous new vernacular of the + occidental plains and mountains. + </p> + <p> + We gave up the breakfast, and paid our dollar apiece and went back to our + mail-bag bed in the coach, and found comfort in our pipes. Right here we + suffered the first diminution of our princely state. We left our six fine + horses and took six mules in their place. But they were wild Mexican + fellows, and a man had to stand at the head of each of them and hold him + fast while the driver gloved and got himself ready. And when at last he + grasped the reins and gave the word, the men sprung suddenly away from the + mules' heads and the coach shot from the station as if it had issued from + a cannon. How the frantic animals did scamper! It was a fierce and furious + gallop—and the gait never altered for a moment till we reeled off + ten or twelve miles and swept up to the next collection of little + station-huts and stables. + </p> + <p> + So we flew along all day. At 2 P.M. the belt of timber that fringes the + North Platte and marks its windings through the vast level floor of the + Plains came in sight. At 4 P.M. we crossed a branch of the river, and at 5 + P.M. we crossed the Platte itself, and landed at Fort Kearney, fifty-six + hours out from St. Joe—THREE HUNDRED MILES! + </p> + <p> + Now that was stage-coaching on the great overland, ten or twelve years + ago, when perhaps not more than ten men in America, all told, expected to + live to see a railroad follow that route to the Pacific. But the railroad + is there, now, and it pictures a thousand odd comparisons and contrasts in + my mind to read the following sketch, in the New York Times, of a recent + trip over almost the very ground I have been describing. I can scarcely + comprehend the new state of things: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "ACROSS THE CONTINENT. + </p> + <p> + "At 4.20 P.M., Sunday, we rolled out of the station at Omaha, and + started westward on our long jaunt. A couple of hours out, dinner was + announced—an "event" to those of us who had yet to experience what + it is to eat in one of Pullman's hotels on wheels; so, stepping into the + car next forward of our sleeping palace, we found ourselves in the + dining-car. It was a revelation to us, that first dinner on Sunday. And + though we continued to dine for four days, and had as many breakfasts + and suppers, our whole party never ceased to admire the perfection of + the arrangements, and the marvelous results achieved. Upon tables + covered with snowy linen, and garnished with services of solid silver, + Ethiop waiters, flitting about in spotless white, placed as by magic a + repast at which Delmonico himself could have had no occasion to blush; + and, indeed, in some respects it would be hard for that distinguished + chef to match our menu; for, in addition to all that ordinarily makes up + a first-chop dinner, had we not our antelope steak (the gormand who has + not experienced this—bah! what does he know of the feast of fat + things?) our delicious mountain-brook trout, and choice fruits and + berries, and (sauce piquant and unpurchasable!) our sweet-scented, + appetite-compelling air of the prairies? + </p> + <p> + <a name="link047" id="link047"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="047.jpg (88K)" src="images/047.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "You may depend upon it, we all did justice to the good things, and as + we washed them down with bumpers of sparkling Krug, whilst we sped along + at the rate of thirty miles an hour, agreed it was the fastest living we + had ever experienced. (We beat that, however, two days afterward when we + made twenty-seven miles in twenty-seven minutes, while our Champagne + glasses filled to the brim spilled not a drop!) After dinner we repaired + to our drawing-room car, and, as it was Sabbath eve, intoned some of the + grand old hymns—"Praise God from whom," etc.; "Shining Shore," + "Coronation," etc.—the voices of the men singers and of the women + singers blending sweetly in the evening air, while our train, with its + great, glaring Polyphemus eye, lighting up long vistas of prairie, + rushed into the night and the Wild. Then to bed in luxurious couches, + where we slept the sleep of the just and only awoke the next morning + (Monday) at eight o'clock, to find ourselves at the crossing of the + North Platte, three hundred miles from Omaha—fifteen hours and + forty minutes out." + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch05" id="linkch05"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Another night of alternate tranquillity and turmoil. But morning came, by + and by. It was another glad awakening to fresh breezes, vast expanses of + level greensward, bright sunlight, an impressive solitude utterly without + visible human beings or human habitations, and an atmosphere of such + amazing magnifying properties that trees that seemed close at hand were + more than three mile away. We resumed undress uniform, climbed a-top of + the flying coach, dangled our legs over the side, shouted occasionally at + our frantic mules, merely to see them lay their ears back and scamper + faster, tied our hats on to keep our hair from blowing away, and leveled + an outlook over the world-wide carpet about us for things new and strange + to gaze at. Even at this day it thrills me through and through to think of + the life, the gladness and the wild sense of freedom that used to make the + blood dance in my veins on those fine overland mornings! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link049" id="link049"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="049.jpg (43K)" src="images/049.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <a name="link050" id="link050"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="050.jpg (51K)" src="images/050.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Along about an hour after breakfast we saw the first prairie-dog villages, + the first antelope, and the first wolf. If I remember rightly, this latter + was the regular cayote (pronounced ky-o-te) of the farther deserts. And if + it was, he was not a pretty creature or respectable either, for I got well + acquainted with his race afterward, and can speak with confidence. The + cayote is a long, slim, sick and sorry-looking skeleton, with a gray + wolf-skin stretched over it, a tolerably bushy tail that forever sags down + with a despairing expression of forsakenness and misery, a furtive and + evil eye, and a long, sharp face, with slightly lifted lip and exposed + teeth. He has a general slinking expression all over. The cayote is a + living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. + </p> + <p> + He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures + despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede. He is + so spiritless and cowardly that even while his exposed teeth are + pretending a threat, the rest of his face is apologizing for it. And he is + so homely!—so scrawny, and ribby, and coarse-haired, and pitiful. + When he sees you he lifts his lip and lets a flash of his teeth out, and + then turns a little out of the course he was pursuing, depresses his head + a bit, and strikes a long, soft-footed trot through the sage-brush, + glancing over his shoulder at you, from time to time, till he is about out + of easy pistol range, and then he stops and takes a deliberate survey of + you; he will trot fifty yards and stop again—another fifty and stop + again; and finally the gray of his gliding body blends with the gray of + the sage-brush, and he disappears. All this is when you make no + demonstration against him; but if you do, he develops a livelier interest + in his journey, and instantly electrifies his heels and puts such a deal + of real estate between himself and your weapon, that by the time you have + raised the hammer you see that you need a minie rifle, and by the time you + have got him in line you need a rifled cannon, and by the time you have + "drawn a bead" on him you see well enough that nothing but an unusually + long-winded streak of lightning could reach him where he is now. But if + you start a swift-footed dog after him, you will enjoy it ever so much—especially + if it is a dog that has a good opinion of himself, and has been brought up + to think he knows something about speed. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link051" id="link051"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="051.jpg (42K)" src="images/051.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The cayote will go swinging gently off on that deceitful trot of his, and + every little while he will smile a fraudful smile over his shoulder that + will fill that dog entirely full of encouragement and worldly ambition, + and make him lay his head still lower to the ground, and stretch his neck + further to the front, and pant more fiercely, and stick his tail out + straighter behind, and move his furious legs with a yet wilder frenzy, and + leave a broader and broader, and higher and denser cloud of desert sand + smoking behind, and marking his long wake across the level plain! And all + this time the dog is only a short twenty feet behind the cayote, and to + save the soul of him he cannot understand why it is that he cannot get + perceptibly closer; and he begins to get aggravated, and it makes him + madder and madder to see how gently the cayote glides along and never + pants or sweats or ceases to smile; and he grows still more and more + incensed to see how shamefully he has been taken in by an entire stranger, + and what an ignoble swindle that long, calm, soft-footed trot is; and next + he notices that he is getting fagged, and that the cayote actually has to + slacken speed a little to keep from running away from him—and then + that town-dog is mad in earnest, and he begins to strain and weep and + swear, and paw the sand higher than ever, and reach for the cayote with + concentrated and desperate energy. This "spurt" finds him six feet behind + the gliding enemy, and two miles from his friends. And then, in the + instant that a wild new hope is lighting up his face, the cayote turns and + smiles blandly upon him once more, and with a something about it which + seems to say: "Well, I shall have to tear myself away from you, bub—business + is business, and it will not do for me to be fooling along this way all + day"—and forthwith there is a rushing sound, and the sudden + splitting of a long crack through the atmosphere, and behold that dog is + solitary and alone in the midst of a vast solitude! + </p> + <p> + It makes his head swim. He stops, and looks all around; climbs the nearest + sand-mound, and gazes into the distance; shakes his head reflectively, and + then, without a word, he turns and jogs along back to his train, and takes + up a humble position under the hindmost wagon, and feels unspeakably mean, + and looks ashamed, and hangs his tail at half- mast for a week. And for as + much as a year after that, whenever there is a great hue and cry after a + cayote, that dog will merely glance in that direction without emotion, and + apparently observe to himself, "I believe I do not wish any of the pie." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link052" id="link052"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="052.jpg (145K)" src="images/052.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The cayote lives chiefly in the most desolate and forbidding desert, along + with the lizard, the jackass-rabbit and the raven, and gets an uncertain + and precarious living, and earns it. He seems to subsist almost wholly on + the carcases of oxen, mules and horses that have dropped out of emigrant + trains and died, and upon windfalls of carrion, and occasional legacies of + offal bequeathed to him by white men who have been opulent enough to have + something better to butcher than condemned army bacon. + </p> + <p> + He will eat anything in the world that his first cousins, the desert- + frequenting tribes of Indians will, and they will eat anything they can + bite. It is a curious fact that these latter are the only creatures known + to history who will eat nitro-glycerine and ask for more if they survive. + </p> + <p> + The cayote of the deserts beyond the Rocky Mountains has a peculiarly hard + time of it, owing to the fact that his relations, the Indians, are just as + apt to be the first to detect a seductive scent on the desert breeze, and + follow the fragrance to the late ox it emanated from, as he is himself; + and when this occurs he has to content himself with sitting off at a + little distance watching those people strip off and dig out everything + edible, and walk off with it. Then he and the waiting ravens explore the + skeleton and polish the bones. It is considered that the cayote, and the + obscene bird, and the Indian of the desert, testify their blood kinship + with each other in that they live together in the waste places of the + earth on terms of perfect confidence and friendship, while hating all + other creature and yearning to assist at their funerals. He does not mind + going a hundred miles to breakfast, and a hundred and fifty to dinner, + because he is sure to have three or four days between meals, and he can + just as well be traveling and looking at the scenery as lying around doing + nothing and adding to the burdens of his parents. + </p> + <p> + We soon learned to recognize the sharp, vicious bark of the cayote as it + came across the murky plain at night to disturb our dreams among the + mail-sacks; and remembering his forlorn aspect and his hard fortune, made + shift to wish him the blessed novelty of a long day's good luck and a + limitless larder the morrow. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch06" id="linkch06"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Our new conductor (just shipped) had been without sleep for twenty hours. + Such a thing was very frequent. From St. Joseph, Missouri, to Sacramento, + California, by stage-coach, was nearly nineteen hundred miles, and the + trip was often made in fifteen days (the cars do it in four and a half, + now), but the time specified in the mail contracts, and required by the + schedule, was eighteen or nineteen days, if I remember rightly. This was + to make fair allowance for winter storms and snows, and other unavoidable + causes of detention. The stage company had everything under strict + discipline and good system. Over each two hundred and fifty miles of road + they placed an agent or superintendent, and invested him with great + authority. His beat or jurisdiction of two hundred and fifty miles was + called a "division." He purchased horses, mules harness, and food for men + and beasts, and distributed these things among his stage stations, from + time to time, according to his judgment of what each station needed. He + erected station buildings and dug wells. He attended to the paying of the + station-keepers, hostlers, drivers and blacksmiths, and discharged them + whenever he chose. He was a very, very great man in his "division"—a + kind of Grand Mogul, a Sultan of the Indies, in whose presence common men + were modest of speech and manner, and in the glare of whose greatness even + the dazzling stage-driver dwindled to a penny dip. There were about eight + of these kings, all told, on the overland route. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link055" id="link055"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="055.jpg (39K)" src="images/055.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Next in rank and importance to the division-agent came the "conductor." + His beat was the same length as the agent's—two hundred and fifty + miles. He sat with the driver, and (when necessary) rode that fearful + distance, night and day, without other rest or sleep than what he could + get perched thus on top of the flying vehicle. Think of it! He had + absolute charge of the mails, express matter, passengers and stage, coach, + until he delivered them to the next conductor, and got his receipt for + them. + </p> + <p> + Consequently he had to be a man of intelligence, decision and considerable + executive ability. He was usually a quiet, pleasant man, who attended + closely to his duties, and was a good deal of a gentleman. It was not + absolutely necessary that the division-agent should be a gentleman, and + occasionally he wasn't. But he was always a general in administrative + ability, and a bull-dog in courage and determination—otherwise the + chieftainship over the lawless underlings of the overland service would + never in any instance have been to him anything but an equivalent for a + month of insolence and distress and a bullet and a coffin at the end of + it. There were about sixteen or eighteen conductors on the overland, for + there was a daily stage each way, and a conductor on every stage. + </p> + <p> + Next in real and official rank and importance, after the conductor, came + my delight, the driver—next in real but not in apparent importance—for + we have seen that in the eyes of the common herd the driver was to the + conductor as an admiral is to the captain of the flag-ship. The driver's + beat was pretty long, and his sleeping-time at the stations pretty short, + sometimes; and so, but for the grandeur of his position his would have + been a sorry life, as well as a hard and a wearing one. We took a new + driver every day or every night (for they drove backward and forward over + the same piece of road all the time), and therefore we never got as well + acquainted with them as we did with the conductors; and besides, they + would have been above being familiar with such rubbish as passengers, + anyhow, as a general thing. Still, we were always eager to get a sight of + each and every new driver as soon as the watch changed, for each and every + day we were either anxious to get rid of an unpleasant one, or loath to + part with a driver we had learned to like and had come to be sociable and + friendly with. And so the first question we asked the conductor whenever + we got to where we were to exchange drivers, was always, "Which is him?" + The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would + go into a book some day. As long as everything went smoothly, the overland + driver was well enough situated, but if a fellow driver got sick suddenly + it made trouble, for the coach must go on, and so the potentate who was + about to climb down and take a luxurious rest after his long night's siege + in the midst of wind and rain and darkness, had to stay where he was and + do the sick man's work. Once, in the Rocky Mountains, when I found a + driver sound asleep on the box, and the mules going at the usual + break-neck pace, the conductor said never mind him, there was no danger, + and he was doing double duty—had driven seventy-five miles on one + coach, and was now going back over it on this without rest or sleep. A + hundred and fifty miles of holding back of six vindictive mules and + keeping them from climbing the trees! It sounds incredible, but I remember + the statement well enough. + </p> + <p> + The station-keepers, hostlers, etc., were low, rough characters, as + already described; and from western Nebraska to Nevada a considerable + sprinkling of them might be fairly set down as outlaws—fugitives + from justice, criminals whose best security was a section of country which + was without law and without even the pretence of it. When the "division- + agent" issued an order to one of these parties he did it with the full + understanding that he might have to enforce it with a navy six-shooter, + and so he always went "fixed" to make things go along smoothly. + </p> + <p> + Now and then a division-agent was really obliged to shoot a hostler + through the head to teach him some simple matter that he could have taught + him with a club if his circumstances and surroundings had been different. + But they were snappy, able men, those division-agents, and when they tried + to teach a subordinate anything, that subordinate generally "got it + through his head." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link057" id="link057"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="057.jpg (53K)" src="images/057.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + A great portion of this vast machinery—these hundreds of men and + coaches, and thousands of mules and horses—was in the hands of Mr. + Ben Holliday. All the western half of the business was in his hands. This + reminds me of an incident of Palestine travel which is pertinent here, so + I will transfer it just in the language in which I find it set down in my + Holy Land note-book: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + No doubt everybody has heard of Ben Holliday—a man of prodigious + energy, who used to send mails and passengers flying across the + continent in his overland stage-coaches like a very whirlwind—two + thousand long miles in fifteen days and a half, by the watch! But this + fragment of history is not about Ben Holliday, but about a young New + York boy by the name of Jack, who traveled with our small party of + pilgrims in the Holy Land (and who had traveled to California in Mr. + Holliday's overland coaches three years before, and had by no means + forgotten it or lost his gushing admiration of Mr. H.) Aged nineteen. + Jack was a good boy—a good-hearted and always well-meaning boy, + who had been reared in the city of New York, and although he was bright + and knew a great many useful things, his Scriptural education had been a + good deal neglected—to such a degree, indeed, that all Holy Land + history was fresh and new to him, and all Bible names mysteries that had + never disturbed his virgin ear. + </p> + <p> + Also in our party was an elderly pilgrim who was the reverse of Jack, in + that he was learned in the Scriptures and an enthusiast concerning them. + He was our encyclopedia, and we were never tired of listening to his + speeches, nor he of making them. He never passed a celebrated locality, + from Bashan to Bethlehem, without illuminating it with an oration. One + day, when camped near the ruins of Jericho, he burst forth with + something like this: + </p> + <p> + "Jack, do you see that range of mountains over yonder that bounds the + Jordan valley? The mountains of Moab, Jack! Think of it, my boy—the + actual mountains of Moab—renowned in Scripture history! We are + actually standing face to face with those illustrious crags and peaks—and + for all we know" [dropping his voice impressively], "our eyes may be + resting at this very moment upon the spot WHERE LIES THE MYSTERIOUS + GRAVE OF MOSES! Think of it, Jack!" + </p> + <p> + "Moses who?" (falling inflection). + </p> + <p> + <a name="link058" id="link058"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="058.jpg (62K)" src="images/058.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Moses who! Jack, you ought to be ashamed of yourself—you ought to + be ashamed of such criminal ignorance. Why, Moses, the great guide, + soldier, poet, lawgiver of ancient Israel! Jack, from this spot where we + stand, to Egypt, stretches a fearful desert three hundred miles in + extent—and across that desert that wonderful man brought the + children of Israel!—guiding them with unfailing sagacity for forty + years over the sandy desolation and among the obstructing rocks and + hills, and landed them at last, safe and sound, within sight of this + very spot; and where we now stand they entered the Promised Land with + anthems of rejoicing! It was a wonderful, wonderful thing to do, Jack! + Think of it!" + </p> + <p> + "Forty years? Only three hundred miles? Humph! Ben Holliday would have + fetched them through in thirty-six hours!" + </p> + <p> + The boy meant no harm. He did not know that he had said anything that + was wrong or irreverent. And so no one scolded him or felt offended with + him—and nobody could but some ungenerous spirit incapable of + excusing the heedless blunders of a boy. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + At noon on the fifth day out, we arrived at the "Crossing of the South + Platte," alias "Julesburg," alias "Overland City," four hundred and + seventy miles from St. Joseph—the strangest, quaintest, funniest + frontier town that our untraveled eyes had ever stared at and been + astonished with. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch07" id="linkch07"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + It did seem strange enough to see a town again after what appeared to us + such a long acquaintance with deep, still, almost lifeless and houseless + solitude! We tumbled out into the busy street feeling like meteoric people + crumbled off the corner of some other world, and wakened up suddenly in + this. For an hour we took as much interest in Overland City as if we had + never seen a town before. The reason we had an hour to spare was because + we had to change our stage (for a less sumptuous affair, called a + "mud-wagon") and transfer our freight of mails. + </p> + <p> + Presently we got under way again. We came to the shallow, yellow, muddy + South Platte, with its low banks and its scattering flat sand-bars and + pigmy islands—a melancholy stream straggling through the centre of + the enormous flat plain, and only saved from being impossible to find with + the naked eye by its sentinel rank of scattering trees standing on either + bank. The Platte was "up," they said—which made me wish I could see + it when it was down, if it could look any sicker and sorrier. They said it + was a dangerous stream to cross, now, because its quicksands were liable + to swallow up horses, coach and passengers if an attempt was made to ford + it. But the mails had to go, and we made the attempt. Once or twice in + midstream the wheels sunk into the yielding sands so threateningly that we + half believed we had dreaded and avoided the sea all our lives to be + shipwrecked in a "mud-wagon" in the middle of a desert at last. But we + dragged through and sped away toward the setting sun. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link061" id="link061"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="061.jpg (69K)" src="images/061.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + Next morning, just before dawn, when about five hundred and fifty miles + from St. Joseph, our mud-wagon broke down. We were to be delayed five or + six hours, and therefore we took horses, by invitation, and joined a party + who were just starting on a buffalo hunt. It was noble sport galloping + over the plain in the dewy freshness of the morning, but our part of the + hunt ended in disaster and disgrace, for a wounded buffalo bull chased the + passenger Bemis nearly two miles, and then he forsook his horse and took + to a lone tree. He was very sullen about the matter for some twenty-four + hours, but at last he began to soften little by little, and finally he + said: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link062" id="link062"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="062.jpg (81K)" src="images/062.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Well, it was not funny, and there was no sense in those gawks making + themselves so facetious over it. I tell you I was angry in earnest for + awhile. I should have shot that long gangly lubber they called Hank, if I + could have done it without crippling six or seven other people—but + of course I couldn't, the old 'Allen's' so confounded comprehensive. I + wish those loafers had been up in the tree; they wouldn't have wanted to + laugh so. If I had had a horse worth a cent—but no, the minute he + saw that buffalo bull wheel on him and give a bellow, he raised straight + up in the air and stood on his heels. The saddle began to slip, and I took + him round the neck and laid close to him, and began to pray. Then he came + down and stood up on the other end awhile, and the bull actually stopped + pawing sand and bellowing to contemplate the inhuman spectacle. + </p> + <p> + "Then the bull made a pass at him and uttered a bellow that sounded + perfectly frightful, it was so close to me, and that seemed to literally + prostrate my horse's reason, and make a raving distracted maniac of him, + and I wish I may die if he didn't stand on his head for a quarter of a + minute and shed tears. He was absolutely out of his mind—he was, as + sure as truth itself, and he really didn't know what he was doing. Then + the bull came charging at us, and my horse dropped down on all fours and + took a fresh start—and then for the next ten minutes he would + actually throw one hand-spring after another so fast that the bull began + to get unsettled, too, and didn't know where to start in—and so he + stood there sneezing, and shovelling dust over his back, and bellowing + every now and then, and thinking he had got a fifteen-hundred dollar + circus horse for breakfast, certain. Well, I was first out on his neck—the + horse's, not the bull's—and then underneath, and next on his rump, + and sometimes head up, and sometimes heels—but I tell you it seemed + solemn and awful to be ripping and tearing and carrying on so in the + presence of death, as you might say. Pretty soon the bull made a snatch + for us and brought away some of my horse's tail (I suppose, but do not + know, being pretty busy at the time), but something made him hungry for + solitude and suggested to him to get up and hunt for it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link063" id="link063"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="063.jpg (63K)" src="images/063.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "And then you ought to have seen that spider legged old skeleton go! and + you ought to have seen the bull cut out after him, too—head down, + tongue out, tail up, bellowing like everything, and actually mowing down + the weeds, and tearing up the earth, and boosting up the sand like a + whirlwind! By George, it was a hot race! I and the saddle were back on the + rump, and I had the bridle in my teeth and holding on to the pommel with + both hands. First we left the dogs behind; then we passed a jackass + rabbit; then we overtook a cayote, and were gaining on an antelope when + the rotten girth let go and threw me about thirty yards off to the left, + and as the saddle went down over the horse's rump he gave it a lift with + his heels that sent it more than four hundred yards up in the air, I wish + I may die in a minute if he didn't. I fell at the foot of the only + solitary tree there was in nine counties adjacent (as any creature could + see with the naked eye), and the next second I had hold of the bark with + four sets of nails and my teeth, and the next second after that I was + astraddle of the main limb and blaspheming my luck in a way that made my + breath smell of brimstone. I had the bull, now, if he did not think of one + thing. But that one thing I dreaded. I dreaded it very seriously. There + was a possibility that the bull might not think of it, but there were + greater chances that he would. I made up my mind what I would do in case + he did. It was a little over forty feet to the ground from where I sat. I + cautiously unwound the lariat from the pommel of my saddle——" + </p> + <p> + "Your saddle? Did you take your saddle up in the tree with you?" + </p> + <p> + "Take it up in the tree with me? Why, how you talk. Of course I didn't. No + man could do that. It fell in the tree when it came down." + </p> + <p> + "Oh—exactly." + </p> + <p> + "Certainly. I unwound the lariat, and fastened one end of it to the limb. + It was the very best green raw-hide, and capable of sustaining tons. I + made a slip-noose in the other end, and then hung it down to see the + length. It reached down twenty-two feet—half way to the ground. I + then loaded every barrel of the Allen with a double charge. I felt + satisfied. I said to myself, if he never thinks of that one thing that I + dread, all right—but if he does, all right anyhow—I am fixed + for him. But don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing + that always happens? Indeed it is so. I watched the bull, now, with + anxiety—anxiety which no one can conceive of who has not been in + such a situation and felt that at any moment death might come. Presently a + thought came into the bull's eye. I knew it! said I—if my nerve + fails now, I am lost. Sure enough, it was just as I had dreaded, he + started in to climb the tree——" + </p> + <p> + "What, the bull?" + </p> + <p> + "Of course—who else?" + </p> + <p> + "But a bull can't climb a tree." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link065" id="link065"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="065.jpg (75K)" src="images/065.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "He can't, can't he? Since you know so much about it, did you ever see a + bull try?" + </p> + <p> + "No! I never dreamt of such a thing." + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, what is the use of your talking that way, then? Because you + never saw a thing done, is that any reason why it can't be done?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, all right—go on. What did you do?" + </p> + <p> + "The bull started up, and got along well for about ten feet, then slipped + and slid back. I breathed easier. He tried it again—got up a little + higher—slipped again. But he came at it once more, and this time he + was careful. He got gradually higher and higher, and my spirits went down + more and more. Up he came—an inch at a time—with his eyes hot, + and his tongue hanging out. Higher and higher—hitched his foot over + the stump of a limb, and looked up, as much as to say, 'You are my meat, + friend.' Up again—higher and higher, and getting more excited the + closer he got. He was within ten feet of me! I took a long breath,—and + then said I, 'It is now or never.' I had the coil of the lariat all ready; + I paid it out slowly, till it hung right over his head; all of a sudden I + let go of the slack, and the slipnoose fell fairly round his neck! Quicker + than lightning I out with the Allen and let him have it in the face. It + was an awful roar, and must have scared the bull out of his senses. When + the smoke cleared away, there he was, dangling in the air, twenty foot + from the ground, and going out of one convulsion into another faster than + you could count! I didn't stop to count, anyhow—I shinned down the + tree and shot for home." + </p> + <p> + "Bemis, is all that true, just as you have stated it?" + </p> + <p> + "I wish I may rot in my tracks and die the death of a dog if it isn't." + </p> + <p> + "Well, we can't refuse to believe it, and we don't. But if there were some + proofs——" + </p> + <p> + "Proofs! Did I bring back my lariat?" + </p> + <p> + "No." + </p> + <p> + "Did I bring back my horse?" + </p> + <p> + "No." + </p> + <p> + "Did you ever see the bull again?" + </p> + <p> + "No." + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, what more do you want? I never saw anybody as particular as + you are about a little thing like that." + </p> + <p> + I made up my mind that if this man was not a liar he only missed it by the + skin of his teeth. This episode reminds me of an incident of my brief + sojourn in Siam, years afterward. The European citizens of a town in the + neighborhood of Bangkok had a prodigy among them by the name of Eckert, an + Englishman—a person famous for the number, ingenuity and imposing + magnitude of his lies. They were always repeating his most celebrated + falsehoods, and always trying to "draw him out" before strangers; but they + seldom succeeded. Twice he was invited to the house where I was visiting, + but nothing could seduce him into a specimen lie. One day a planter named + Bascom, an influential man, and a proud and sometimes irascible one, + invited me to ride over with him and call on Eckert. As we jogged along, + said he: + </p> + <p> + "Now, do you know where the fault lies? It lies in putting Eckert on his + guard. The minute the boys go to pumping at Eckert he knows perfectly well + what they are after, and of course he shuts up his shell. Anybody might + know he would. But when we get there, we must play him finer than that. + Let him shape the conversation to suit himself—let him drop it or + change it whenever he wants to. Let him see that nobody is trying to draw + him out. Just let him have his own way. He will soon forget himself and + begin to grind out lies like a mill. Don't get impatient—just keep + quiet, and let me play him. I will make him lie. It does seem to me that + the boys must be blind to overlook such an obvious and simple trick as + that." + </p> + <p> + Eckert received us heartily—a pleasant-spoken, gentle-mannered + creature. We sat in the veranda an hour, sipping English ale, and talking + about the king, and the sacred white elephant, the Sleeping Idol, and all + manner of things; and I noticed that my comrade never led the conversation + himself or shaped it, but simply followed Eckert's lead, and betrayed no + solicitude and no anxiety about anything. The effect was shortly + perceptible. Eckert began to grow communicative; he grew more and more at + his ease, and more and more talkative and sociable. Another hour passed in + the same way, and then all of a sudden Eckert said: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, by the way! I came near forgetting. I have got a thing here to + astonish you. Such a thing as neither you nor any other man ever heard of—I've + got a cat that will eat cocoanut! Common green cocoanut—and not only + eat the meat, but drink the milk. It is so—I'll swear to it." + </p> + <p> + A quick glance from Bascom—a glance that I understood—then: + </p> + <p> + "Why, bless my soul, I never heard of such a thing. Man, it is + impossible." + </p> + <p> + "I knew you would say it. I'll fetch the cat." + </p> + <p> + He went in the house. Bascom said: + </p> + <p> + "There—what did I tell you? Now, that is the way to handle Eckert. + You see, I have petted him along patiently, and put his suspicions to + sleep. I am glad we came. You tell the boys about it when you go back. Cat + eat a cocoanut—oh, my! Now, that is just his way, exactly—he + will tell the absurdest lie, and trust to luck to get out of it again. + </p> + <p> + "Cat eat a cocoanut—the innocent fool!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link068" id="link068"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="068.jpg (84K)" src="images/068.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Eckert approached with his cat, sure enough. + </p> + <p> + Bascom smiled. Said he: + </p> + <p> + "I'll hold the cat—you bring a cocoanut." + </p> + <p> + Eckert split one open, and chopped up some pieces. Bascom smuggled a wink + to me, and proffered a slice of the fruit to puss. She snatched it, + swallowed it ravenously, and asked for more! + </p> + <p> + We rode our two miles in silence, and wide apart. At least I was silent, + though Bascom cuffed his horse and cursed him a good deal, notwithstanding + the horse was behaving well enough. When I branched off homeward, Bascom + said: + </p> + <p> + "Keep the horse till morning. And—you need not speak of this—foolishness + to the boys." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link069" id="link069"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="069.jpg (50K)" src="images/069.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch08" id="linkch08"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + In a little while all interest was taken up in stretching our necks and + watching for the "pony-rider"—the fleet messenger who sped across + the continent from St. Joe to Sacramento, carrying letters nineteen + hundred miles in eight days! Think of that for perishable horse and human + flesh and blood to do! The pony-rider was usually a little bit of a man, + brimful of spirit and endurance. No matter what time of the day or night + his watch came on, and no matter whether it was winter or summer, raining, + snowing, hailing, or sleeting, or whether his "beat" was a level straight + road or a crazy trail over mountain crags and precipices, or whether it + led through peaceful regions or regions that swarmed with hostile Indians, + he must be always ready to leap into the saddle and be off like the wind! + There was no idling-time for a pony-rider on duty. He rode fifty miles + without stopping, by daylight, moonlight, starlight, or through the + blackness of darkness—just as it happened. He rode a splendid horse + that was born for a racer and fed and lodged like a gentleman; kept him at + his utmost speed for ten miles, and then, as he came crashing up to the + station where stood two men holding fast a fresh, impatient steed, the + transfer of rider and mail-bag was made in the twinkling of an eye, and + away flew the eager pair and were out of sight before the spectator could + get hardly the ghost of a look. Both rider and horse went "flying light." + The rider's dress was thin, and fitted close; he wore a "round-about," and + a skull-cap, and tucked his pantaloons into his boot-tops like a + race-rider. He carried no arms—he carried nothing that was not + absolutely necessary, for even the postage on his literary freight was + worth five dollars a letter. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link071" id="link071"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="071.jpg (120K)" src="images/071.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He got but little frivolous correspondence to carry—his bag had + business letters in it, mostly. His horse was stripped of all unnecessary + weight, too. He wore a little wafer of a racing-saddle, and no visible + blanket. He wore light shoes, or none at all. The little flat mail-pockets + strapped under the rider's thighs would each hold about the bulk of a + child's primer. They held many and many an important business chapter and + newspaper letter, but these were written on paper as airy and thin as + gold-leaf, nearly, and thus bulk and weight were economized. The stage- + coach traveled about a hundred to a hundred and twenty-five miles a day + (twenty-four hours), the pony-rider about two hundred and fifty. There + were about eighty pony-riders in the saddle all the time, night and day, + stretching in a long, scattering procession from Missouri to California, + forty flying eastward, and forty toward the west, and among them making + four hundred gallant horses earn a stirring livelihood and see a deal of + scenery every single day in the year. + </p> + <p> + We had had a consuming desire, from the beginning, to see a pony-rider, + but somehow or other all that passed us and all that met us managed to + streak by in the night, and so we heard only a whiz and a hail, and the + swift phantom of the desert was gone before we could get our heads out of + the windows. But now we were expecting one along every moment, and would + see him in broad daylight. Presently the driver exclaims: + </p> + <p> + "HERE HE COMES!" + </p> + <p> + Every neck is stretched further, and every eye strained wider. Away across + the endless dead level of the prairie a black speck appears against the + sky, and it is plain that it moves. Well, I should think so! + </p> + <p> + In a second or two it becomes a horse and rider, rising and falling, + rising and falling—sweeping toward us nearer and nearer—growing + more and more distinct, more and more sharply defined—nearer and + still nearer, and the flutter of the hoofs comes faintly to the ear—another + instant a whoop and a hurrah from our upper deck, a wave of the rider's + hand, but no reply, and man and horse burst past our excited faces, and go + winging away like a belated fragment of a storm! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link072" id="link072"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="072.jpg (33K)" src="images/072.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + So sudden is it all, and so like a flash of unreal fancy, that but for the + flake of white foam left quivering and perishing on a mail-sack after the + vision had flashed by and disappeared, we might have doubted whether we + had seen any actual horse and man at all, maybe. + </p> + <p> + We rattled through Scott's Bluffs Pass, by and by. It was along here + somewhere that we first came across genuine and unmistakable alkali water + in the road, and we cordially hailed it as a first-class curiosity, and a + thing to be mentioned with eclat in letters to the ignorant at home. This + water gave the road a soapy appearance, and in many places the ground + looked as if it had been whitewashed. I think the strange alkali water + excited us as much as any wonder we had come upon yet, and I know we felt + very complacent and conceited, and better satisfied with life after we had + added it to our list of things which we had seen and some other people had + not. In a small way we were the same sort of simpletons as those who climb + unnecessarily the perilous peaks of Mont Blanc and the Matterhorn, and + derive no pleasure from it except the reflection that it isn't a common + experience. But once in a while one of those parties trips and comes + darting down the long mountain-crags in a sitting posture, making the + crusted snow smoke behind him, flitting from bench to bench, and from + terrace to terrace, jarring the earth where he strikes, and still glancing + and flitting on again, sticking an iceberg into himself every now and + then, and tearing his clothes, snatching at things to save himself, taking + hold of trees and fetching them along with him, roots and all, starting + little rocks now and then, then big boulders, then acres of ice and snow + and patches of forest, gathering and still gathering as he goes, adding + and still adding to his massed and sweeping grandeur as he nears a three + thousand-foot precipice, till at last he waves his hat magnificently and + rides into eternity on the back of a raging and tossing avalanche! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link073" id="link073"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="073.jpg (48K)" src="images/073.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + This is all very fine, but let us not be carried away by excitement, but + ask calmly, how does this person feel about it in his cooler moments next + day, with six or seven thousand feet of snow and stuff on top of him? + </p> + <p> + We crossed the sand hills near the scene of the Indian mail robbery and + massacre of 1856, wherein the driver and conductor perished, and also all + the passengers but one, it was supposed; but this must have been a + mistake, for at different times afterward on the Pacific coast I was + personally acquainted with a hundred and thirty-three or four people who + were wounded during that massacre, and barely escaped with their lives. + There was no doubt of the truth of it—I had it from their own lips. + One of these parties told me that he kept coming across arrow-heads in his + system for nearly seven years after the massacre; and another of them told + me that he was struck so literally full of arrows that after the Indians + were gone and he could raise up and examine himself, he could not restrain + his tears, for his clothes were completely ruined. + </p> + <p> + The most trustworthy tradition avers, however, that only one man, a person + named Babbitt, survived the massacre, and he was desperately wounded. He + dragged himself on his hands and knee (for one leg was broken) to a + station several miles away. He did it during portions of two nights, lying + concealed one day and part of another, and for more than forty hours + suffering unimaginable anguish from hunger, thirst and bodily pain. The + Indians robbed the coach of everything it contained, including quite an + amount of treasure. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch09" id="linkch09"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We passed Fort Laramie in the night, and on the seventh morning out we + found ourselves in the Black Hills, with Laramie Peak at our elbow + (apparently) looming vast and solitary—a deep, dark, rich indigo + blue in hue, so portentously did the old colossus frown under his beetling + brows of storm-cloud. He was thirty or forty miles away, in reality, but + he only seemed removed a little beyond the low ridge at our right. We + breakfasted at Horse-Shoe Station, six hundred and seventy-six miles out + from St. Joseph. We had now reached a hostile Indian country, and during + the afternoon we passed Laparelle Station, and enjoyed great discomfort + all the time we were in the neighborhood, being aware that many of the + trees we dashed by at arm's length concealed a lurking Indian or two. + During the preceding night an ambushed savage had sent a bullet through + the pony-rider's jacket, but he had ridden on, just the same, because + pony-riders were not allowed to stop and inquire into such things except + when killed. As long as they had life enough left in them they had to + stick to the horse and ride, even if the Indians had been waiting for them + a week, and were entirely out of patience. About two hours and a half + before we arrived at Laparelle Station, the keeper in charge of it had + fired four times at an Indian, but he said with an injured air that the + Indian had "skipped around so's to spile everything—and ammunition's + blamed skurse, too." The most natural inference conveyed by his manner of + speaking was, that in "skipping around," the Indian had taken an unfair + advantage. + </p> + <p> + The coach we were in had a neat hole through its front—a + reminiscence of its last trip through this region. The bullet that made it + wounded the driver slightly, but he did not mind it much. He said the + place to keep a man "huffy" was down on the Southern Overland, among the + Apaches, before the company moved the stage line up on the northern route. + He said the Apaches used to annoy him all the time down there, and that he + came as near as anything to starving to death in the midst of abundance, + because they kept him so leaky with bullet holes that he "couldn't hold + his vittles." This person's statement were not generally believed. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link076" id="link076"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="076.jpg (53K)" src="images/076.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We shut the blinds down very tightly that first night in the hostile + Indian country, and lay on our arms. We slept on them some, but most of + the time we only lay on them. We did not talk much, but kept quiet and + listened. It was an inky-black night, and occasionally rainy. We were + among woods and rocks, hills and gorges—so shut in, in fact, that + when we peeped through a chink in a curtain, we could discern nothing. The + driver and conductor on top were still, too, or only spoke at long + intervals, in low tones, as is the way of men in the midst of invisible + dangers. We listened to rain-drops pattering on the roof; and the grinding + of the wheels through the muddy gravel; and the low wailing of the wind; + and all the time we had that absurd sense upon us, inseparable from travel + at night in a close-curtained vehicle, the sense of remaining perfectly + still in one place, notwithstanding the jolting and swaying of the + vehicle, the trampling of the horses, and the grinding of the wheels. We + listened a long time, with intent faculties and bated breath; every time + one of us would relax, and draw a long sigh of relief and start to say + something, a comrade would be sure to utter a sudden "Hark!" and instantly + the experimenter was rigid and listening again. So the tiresome minutes + and decades of minutes dragged away, until at last our tense forms filmed + over with a dulled consciousness, and we slept, if one might call such a + condition by so strong a name—for it was a sleep set with a + hair-trigger. It was a sleep seething and teeming with a weird and + distressful confusion of shreds and fag-ends of dreams—a sleep that + was a chaos. Presently, dreams and sleep and the sullen hush of the night + were startled by a ringing report, and cloven by such a long, wild, + agonizing shriek! Then we heard—ten steps from the stage— + </p> + <p> + "Help! help! help!" [It was our driver's voice.] + </p> + <p> + "Kill him! Kill him like a dog!" + </p> + <p> + "I'm being murdered! Will no man lend me a pistol?" + </p> + <p> + "Look out! head him off! head him off!" + </p> + <p> + [Two pistol shots; a confusion of voices and the trampling of many feet, + as if a crowd were closing and surging together around some object; + several heavy, dull blows, as with a club; a voice that said appealingly, + "Don't, gentlemen, please don't—I'm a dead man!" Then a fainter + groan, and another blow, and away sped the stage into the darkness, and + left the grisly mystery behind us.] + </p> + <p> + What a startle it was! Eight seconds would amply cover the time it + occupied—maybe even five would do it. We only had time to plunge at + a curtain and unbuckle and unbutton part of it in an awkward and hindering + flurry, when our whip cracked sharply overhead, and we went rumbling and + thundering away, down a mountain "grade." + </p> + <p> + We fed on that mystery the rest of the night—what was left of it, + for it was waning fast. It had to remain a present mystery, for all we + could get from the conductor in answer to our hails was something that + sounded, through the clatter of the wheels, like "Tell you in the + morning!" + </p> + <p> + So we lit our pipes and opened the corner of a curtain for a chimney, and + lay there in the dark, listening to each other's story of how he first + felt and how many thousand Indians he first thought had hurled themselves + upon us, and what his remembrance of the subsequent sounds was, and the + order of their occurrence. And we theorized, too, but there was never a + theory that would account for our driver's voice being out there, nor yet + account for his Indian murderers talking such good English, if they were + Indians. + </p> + <p> + So we chatted and smoked the rest of the night comfortably away, our + boding anxiety being somehow marvelously dissipated by the real presence + of something to be anxious about. + </p> + <p> + We never did get much satisfaction about that dark occurrence. All that we + could make out of the odds and ends of the information we gathered in the + morning, was that the disturbance occurred at a station; that we changed + drivers there, and that the driver that got off there had been talking + roughly about some of the outlaws that infested the region ("for there + wasn't a man around there but had a price on his head and didn't dare show + himself in the settlements," the conductor said); he had talked roughly + about these characters, and ought to have "drove up there with his pistol + cocked and ready on the seat alongside of him, and begun business himself, + because any softy would know they would be laying for him." + </p> + <p> + That was all we could gather, and we could see that neither the conductor + nor the new driver were much concerned about the matter. They plainly had + little respect for a man who would deliver offensive opinions of people + and then be so simple as to come into their presence unprepared to "back + his judgment," as they pleasantly phrased the killing of any fellow-being + who did not like said opinions. And likewise they plainly had a contempt + for the man's poor discretion in venturing to rouse the wrath of such + utterly reckless wild beasts as those outlaws—and the conductor + added: + </p> + <p> + "I tell you it's as much as Slade himself want to do!" + </p> + <p> + This remark created an entire revolution in my curiosity. I cared nothing + now about the Indians, and even lost interest in the murdered driver. + There was such magic in that name, SLADE! Day or night, now, I stood + always ready to drop any subject in hand, to listen to something new about + Slade and his ghastly exploits. Even before we got to Overland City, we + had begun to hear about Slade and his "division" (for he was a + "division-agent") on the Overland; and from the hour we had left Overland + City we had heard drivers and conductors talk about only three things—"Californy," + the Nevada silver mines, and this desperado Slade. And a deal the most of + the talk was about Slade. We had gradually come to have a realizing sense + of the fact that Slade was a man whose heart and hands and soul were + steeped in the blood of offenders against his dignity; a man who awfully + avenged all injuries, affront, insults or slights, of whatever kind—on + the spot if he could, years afterward if lack of earlier opportunity + compelled it; a man whose hate tortured him day and night till vengeance + appeased it—and not an ordinary vengeance either, but his enemy's + absolute death—nothing less; a man whose face would light up with a + terrible joy when he surprised a foe and had him at a disadvantage. A high + and efficient servant of the Overland, an outlaw among outlaws and yet + their relentless scourge, Slade was at once the most bloody, the most + dangerous and the most valuable citizen that inhabited the savage + fastnesses of the mountains. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch10" id="linkch10"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER X. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Really and truly, two thirds of the talk of drivers and conductors had + been about this man Slade, ever since the day before we reached Julesburg. + In order that the eastern reader may have a clear conception of what a + Rocky Mountain desperado is, in his highest state of development, I will + reduce all this mass of overland gossip to one straightforward narrative, + and present it in the following shape: + </p> + <p> + Slade was born in Illinois, of good parentage. At about twenty-six years + of age he killed a man in a quarrel and fled the country. At St. Joseph, + Missouri, he joined one of the early California-bound emigrant trains, and + was given the post of train-master. One day on the plains he had an angry + dispute with one of his wagon-drivers, and both drew their revolvers. But + the driver was the quicker artist, and had his weapon cocked first. So + Slade said it was a pity to waste life on so small a matter, and proposed + that the pistols be thrown on the ground and the quarrel settled by a + fist-fight. The unsuspecting driver agreed, and threw down his pistol—whereupon + Slade laughed at his simplicity, and shot him dead! + </p> + <p> + He made his escape, and lived a wild life for awhile, dividing his time + between fighting Indians and avoiding an Illinois sheriff, who had been + sent to arrest him for his first murder. It is said that in one Indian + battle he killed three savages with his own hand, and afterward cut their + ears off and sent them, with his compliments, to the chief of the tribe. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link081" id="link081"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="081.jpg (55K)" src="images/081.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Slade soon gained a name for fearless resolution, and this was sufficient + merit to procure for him the important post of overland division-agent at + Julesburg, in place of Mr. Jules, removed. For some time previously, the + company's horses had been frequently stolen, and the coaches delayed, by + gangs of outlaws, who were wont to laugh at the idea of any man's having + the temerity to resent such outrages. Slade resented them promptly. + </p> + <p> + The outlaws soon found that the new agent was a man who did not fear + anything that breathed the breath of life. He made short work of all + offenders. The result was that delays ceased, the company's property was + let alone, and no matter what happened or who suffered, Slade's coaches + went through, every time! True, in order to bring about this wholesome + change, Slade had to kill several men—some say three, others say + four, and others six—but the world was the richer for their loss. + The first prominent difficulty he had was with the ex-agent Jules, who + bore the reputation of being a reckless and desperate man himself. Jules + hated Slade for supplanting him, and a good fair occasion for a fight was + all he was waiting for. By and by Slade dared to employ a man whom Jules + had once discharged. Next, Slade seized a team of stage-horses which he + accused Jules of having driven off and hidden somewhere for his own use. + War was declared, and for a day or two the two men walked warily about the + streets, seeking each other, Jules armed with a double-barreled shot gun, + and Slade with his history-creating revolver. Finally, as Slade stepped + into a store Jules poured the contents of his gun into him from behind the + door. Slade was plucky, and Jules got several bad pistol wounds in return. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link082" id="link082"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="082.jpg (157K)" src="images/082.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Then both men fell, and were carried to their respective lodgings, both + swearing that better aim should do deadlier work next time. Both were + bedridden a long time, but Jules got to his feet first, and gathering his + possessions together, packed them on a couple of mules, and fled to the + Rocky Mountains to gather strength in safety against the day of reckoning. + For many months he was not seen or heard of, and was gradually dropped out + of the remembrance of all save Slade himself. But Slade was not the man to + forget him. On the contrary, common report said that Slade kept a reward + standing for his capture, dead or alive! + </p> + <p> + After awhile, seeing that Slade's energetic administration had restored + peace and order to one of the worst divisions of the road, the overland + stage company transferred him to the Rocky Ridge division in the Rocky + Mountains, to see if he could perform a like miracle there. It was the + very paradise of outlaws and desperadoes. There was absolutely no + semblance of law there. Violence was the rule. Force was the only + recognized authority. The commonest misunderstandings were settled on the + spot with the revolver or the knife. Murders were done in open day, and + with sparkling frequency, and nobody thought of inquiring into them. It + was considered that the parties who did the killing had their private + reasons for it; for other people to meddle would have been looked upon as + indelicate. After a murder, all that Rocky Mountain etiquette required of + a spectator was, that he should help the gentleman bury his game—otherwise + his churlishness would surely be remembered against him the first time he + killed a man himself and needed a neighborly turn in interring him. + </p> + <p> + Slade took up his residence sweetly and peacefully in the midst of this + hive of horse-thieves and assassins, and the very first time one of them + aired his insolent swaggerings in his presence he shot him dead! He began + a raid on the outlaws, and in a singularly short space of time he had + completely stopped their depredations on the stage stock, recovered a + large number of stolen horses, killed several of the worst desperadoes of + the district, and gained such a dread ascendancy over the rest that they + respected him, admired him, feared him, obeyed him! He wrought the same + marvelous change in the ways of the community that had marked his + administration at Overland City. He captured two men who had stolen + overland stock, and with his own hands he hanged them. He was supreme + judge in his district, and he was jury and executioner likewise—and + not only in the case of offences against his employers, but against + passing emigrants as well. On one occasion some emigrants had their stock + lost or stolen, and told Slade, who chanced to visit their camp. With a + single companion he rode to a ranch, the owners of which he suspected, and + opening the door, commenced firing, killing three, and wounding the + fourth. + </p> + <p> + From a bloodthirstily interesting little Montana book.—["The + Vigilantes of Montana," by Prof. Thos. J. Dimsdale.]—I take this + paragraph: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "While on the road, Slade held absolute sway. He would ride down to a + station, get into a quarrel, turn the house out of windows, and maltreat + the occupants most cruelly. The unfortunates had no means of redress, + and were compelled to recuperate as best they could." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link084" id="link084"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="084.jpg (67K)" src="images/084.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + On one of these occasions, it is said he killed the father of the fine + little half-breed boy Jemmy, whom he adopted, and who lived with his + widow after his execution. Stories of Slade's hanging men, and of + innumerable assaults, shootings, stabbings and beatings, in which he was + a principal actor, form part of the legends of the stage line. As for + minor quarrels and shootings, it is absolutely certain that a minute + history of Slade's life would be one long record of such practices. + </p> + <p> + "The Vigilantes of Montana" by Prof. Thomas J. Dimsdale + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Slade was a matchless marksman with a navy revolver. The legends say that + one morning at Rocky Ridge, when he was feeling comfortable, he saw a man + approaching who had offended him some days before—observe the fine + memory he had for matters like that—and, "Gentlemen," said Slade, + drawing, "it is a good twenty-yard shot—I'll clip the third button + on his coat!" Which he did. The bystanders all admired it. And they all + attended the funeral, too. + </p> + <p> + On one occasion a man who kept a little whisky-shelf at the station did + something which angered Slade—and went and made his will. A day or + two afterward Slade came in and called for some brandy. The man reached + under the counter (ostensibly to get a bottle—possibly to get + something else), but Slade smiled upon him that peculiarly bland and + satisfied smile of his which the neighbors had long ago learned to + recognize as a death-warrant in disguise, and told him to "none of that!—pass + out the high-priced article." So the poor bar-keeper had to turn his back + and get the high-priced brandy from the shelf; and when he faced around + again he was looking into the muzzle of Slade's pistol. "And the next + instant," added my informant, impressively, "he was one of the deadest men + that ever lived." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link085" id="link085"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="085.jpg (94K)" src="images/085.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The stage-drivers and conductors told us that sometimes Slade would leave + a hated enemy wholly unmolested, unnoticed and unmentioned, for weeks + together—had done it once or twice at any rate. And some said they + believed he did it in order to lull the victims into unwatchfulness, so + that he could get the advantage of them, and others said they believed he + saved up an enemy that way, just as a schoolboy saves up a cake, and made + the pleasure go as far as it would by gloating over the anticipation. One + of these cases was that of a Frenchman who had offended Slade. To the + surprise of everybody Slade did not kill him on the spot, but let him + alone for a considerable time. Finally, however, he went to the + Frenchman's house very late one night, knocked, and when his enemy opened + the door, shot him dead—pushed the corpse inside the door with his + foot, set the house on fire and burned up the dead man, his widow and + three children! I heard this story from several different people, and they + evidently believed what they were saying. It may be true, and it may not. + "Give a dog a bad name," etc. + </p> + <p> + Slade was captured, once, by a party of men who intended to lynch him. + They disarmed him, and shut him up in a strong log-house, and placed a + guard over him. He prevailed on his captors to send for his wife, so that + he might have a last interview with her. She was a brave, loving, spirited + woman. She jumped on a horse and rode for life and death. When she arrived + they let her in without searching her, and before the door could be closed + she whipped out a couple of revolvers, and she and her lord marched forth + defying the party. And then, under a brisk fire, they mounted double and + galloped away unharmed! + </p> + <p> + In the fulness of time Slade's myrmidons captured his ancient enemy Jules, + whom they found in a well-chosen hiding-place in the remote fastnesses of + the mountains, gaining a precarious livelihood with his rifle. They + brought him to Rocky Ridge, bound hand and foot, and deposited him in the + middle of the cattle-yard with his back against a post. It is said that + the pleasure that lit Slade's face when he heard of it was something + fearful to contemplate. He examined his enemy to see that he was securely + tied, and then went to bed, content to wait till morning before enjoying + the luxury of killing him. Jules spent the night in the cattle-yard, and + it is a region where warm nights are never known. In the morning Slade + practised on him with his revolver, nipping the flesh here and there, and + occasionally clipping off a finger, while Jules begged him to kill him + outright and put him out of his misery. Finally Slade reloaded, and + walking up close to his victim, made some characteristic remarks and then + dispatched him. The body lay there half a day, nobody venturing to touch + it without orders, and then Slade detailed a party and assisted at the + burial himself. But he first cut off the dead man's ears and put them in + his vest pocket, where he carried them for some time with great + satisfaction. That is the story as I have frequently heard it told and + seen it in print in California newspapers. It is doubtless correct in all + essential particulars. + </p> + <p> + In due time we rattled up to a stage-station, and sat down to breakfast + with a half-savage, half-civilized company of armed and bearded + mountaineers, ranchmen and station employees. The most gentlemanly- + appearing, quiet and affable officer we had yet found along the road in + the Overland Company's service was the person who sat at the head of the + table, at my elbow. Never youth stared and shivered as I did when I heard + them call him SLADE! + </p> + <p> + Here was romance, and I sitting face to face with it!—looking upon + it—touching it—hobnobbing with it, as it were! Here, right by + my side, was the actual ogre who, in fights and brawls and various ways, + had taken the lives of twenty-six human beings, or all men lied about him! + I suppose I was the proudest stripling that ever traveled to see strange + lands and wonderful people. + </p> + <p> + He was so friendly and so gentle-spoken that I warmed to him in spite of + his awful history. It was hardly possible to realize that this pleasant + person was the pitiless scourge of the outlaws, the raw-head-and-bloody- + bones the nursing mothers of the mountains terrified their children with. + And to this day I can remember nothing remarkable about Slade except that + his face was rather broad across the cheek bones, and that the cheek bones + were low and the lips peculiarly thin and straight. But that was enough to + leave something of an effect upon me, for since then I seldom see a face + possessing those characteristics without fancying that the owner of it is + a dangerous man. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link088" id="link088"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="088.jpg (57K)" src="images/088.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The coffee ran out. At least it was reduced to one tin-cupful, and Slade + was about to take it when he saw that my cup was empty. + </p> + <p> + He politely offered to fill it, but although I wanted it, I politely + declined. I was afraid he had not killed anybody that morning, and might + be needing diversion. But still with firm politeness he insisted on + filling my cup, and said I had traveled all night and better deserved it + than he—and while he talked he placidly poured the fluid, to the + last drop. I thanked him and drank it, but it gave me no comfort, for I + could not feel sure that he would not be sorry, presently, that he had + given it away, and proceed to kill me to distract his thoughts from the + loss. But nothing of the kind occurred. We left him with only twenty-six + dead people to account for, and I felt a tranquil satisfaction in the + thought that in so judiciously taking care of No. 1 at that + breakfast-table I had pleasantly escaped being No. 27. Slade came out to + the coach and saw us off, first ordering certain rearrangements of the + mail-bags for our comfort, and then we took leave of him, satisfied that + we should hear of him again, some day, and wondering in what connection. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link089" id="link089"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="089.jpg (31K)" src="images/089.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch11" id="linkch11"></a> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + And sure enough, two or three years afterward, we did hear him again. News + came to the Pacific coast that the Vigilance Committee in Montana (whither + Slade had removed from Rocky Ridge) had hanged him. I find an account of + the affair in the thrilling little book I quoted a paragraph from in the + last chapter—"The Vigilantes of Montana; being a Reliable Account of + the Capture, Trial and Execution of Henry Plummer's Notorious Road Agent + Band: By Prof. Thos. J. Dimsdale, Virginia City, M.T." Mr. Dimsdale's + chapter is well worth reading, as a specimen of how the people of the + frontier deal with criminals when the courts of law prove inefficient. Mr. + Dimsdale makes two remarks about Slade, both of which are accurately + descriptive, and one of which is exceedingly picturesque: "Those who saw + him in his natural state only, would pronounce him to be a kind husband, a + most hospitable host and a courteous gentleman; on the contrary, those who + met him when maddened with liquor and surrounded by a gang of armed + roughs, would pronounce him a fiend incarnate." And this: "From Fort + Kearney, west, he was feared a great deal more than the almighty." For + compactness, simplicity and vigor of expression, I will "back" that + sentence against anything in literature. Mr. Dimsdale's narrative is as + follows. In all places where italics occur, they are mine: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + After the execution of the five men on the 14th of January, the + Vigilantes considered that their work was nearly ended. They had freed + the country of highwaymen and murderers to a great extent, and they + determined that in the absence of the regular civil authority they would + establish a People's Court where all offenders should be tried by judge + and jury. This was the nearest approach to social order that the + circumstances permitted, and, though strict legal authority was wanting, + yet the people were firmly determined to maintain its efficiency, and to + enforce its decrees. It may here be mentioned that the overt act which + was the last round on the fatal ladder leading to the scaffold on which + Slade perished, was the tearing in pieces and stamping upon a writ of + this court, followed by his arrest of the Judge Alex. Davis, by + authority of a presented Derringer, and with his own hands. + </p> + <p> + J. A. Slade was himself, we have been informed, a Vigilante; he openly + boasted of it, and said he knew all that they knew. He was never + accused, or even suspected, of either murder or robbery, committed in + this Territory (the latter crime was never laid to his charge, in any + place); but that he had killed several men in other localities was + notorious, and his bad reputation in this respect was a most powerful + argument in determining his fate, when he was finally arrested for the + offence above mentioned. On returning from Milk River he became more and + more addicted to drinking, until at last it was a common feat for him + and his friends to "take the town." He and a couple of his dependents + might often be seen on one horse, galloping through the streets, + shouting and yelling, firing revolvers, etc. On many occasions he would + ride his horse into stores, break up bars, toss the scales out of doors + and use most insulting language to parties present. Just previous to the + day of his arrest, he had given a fearful beating to one of his + followers; but such was his influence over them that the man wept + bitterly at the gallows, and begged for his life with all his power. It + had become quite common, when Slade was on a spree, for the shop-keepers + and citizens to close the stores and put out all the lights; being + fearful of some outrage at his hands. For his wanton destruction of + goods and furniture, he was always ready to pay, when sober, if he had + money; but there were not a few who regarded payment as small + satisfaction for the outrage, and these men were his personal enemies. + </p> + <p> + From time to time Slade received warnings from men that he well knew + would not deceive him, of the certain end of his conduct. There was not + a moment, for weeks previous to his arrest, in which the public did not + expect to hear of some bloody outrage. The dread of his very name, and + the presence of the armed band of hangers-on who followed him alone + prevented a resistance which must certainly have ended in the instant + murder or mutilation of the opposing party. + </p> + <p> + Slade was frequently arrested by order of the court whose organization + we have described, and had treated it with respect by paying one or two + fines and promising to pay the rest when he had money; but in the + transaction that occurred at this crisis, he forgot even this caution, + and goaded by passion and the hatred of restraint, he sprang into the + embrace of death. + </p> + <p> + Slade had been drunk and "cutting up" all night. He and his companions + had made the town a perfect hell. In the morning, J. M. Fox, the + sheriff, met him, arrested him, took him into court and commenced + reading a warrant that he had for his arrest, by way of arraignment. He + became uncontrollably furious, and seizing the writ, he tore it up, + threw it on the ground and stamped upon it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link092" id="link092"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="092.jpg (121K)" src="images/092.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The clicking of the locks of his companions' revolvers was instantly + heard, and a crisis was expected. The sheriff did not attempt his + retention; but being at least as prudent as he was valiant, he + succumbed, leaving Slade the master of the situation and the conqueror + and ruler of the courts, law and law-makers. This was a declaration of + war, and was so accepted. The Vigilance Committee now felt that the + question of social order and the preponderance of the law-abiding + citizens had then and there to be decided. They knew the character of + Slade, and they were well aware that they must submit to his rule + without murmur, or else that he must be dealt with in such fashion as + would prevent his being able to wreak his vengeance on the committee, + who could never have hoped to live in the Territory secure from outrage + or death, and who could never leave it without encountering his friend, + whom his victory would have emboldened and stimulated to a pitch that + would have rendered them reckless of consequences. The day previous he + had ridden into Dorris's store, and on being requested to leave, he drew + his revolver and threatened to kill the gentleman who spoke to him. + Another saloon he had led his horse into, and buying a bottle of wine, + he tried to make the animal drink it. This was not considered an + uncommon performance, as he had often entered saloons and commenced + firing at the lamps, causing a wild stampede. + </p> + <p> + A leading member of the committee met Slade, and informed him in the + quiet, earnest manner of one who feels the importance of what he is + saying: "Slade, get your horse at once, and go home, or there will be——to + pay." Slade started and took a long look, with his dark and piercing + eyes, at the gentleman. "What do you mean?" said he. "You have no right + to ask me what I mean," was the quiet reply, "get your horse at once, + and remember what I tell you." After a short pause he promised to do so, + and actually got into the saddle; but, being still intoxicated, he began + calling aloud to one after another of his friends, and at last seemed to + have forgotten the warning he had received and became again uproarious, + shouting the name of a well-known courtezan in company with those of two + men whom he considered heads of the committee, as a sort of challenge; + perhaps, however, as a simple act of bravado. It seems probable that the + intimation of personal danger he had received had not been forgotten + entirely; though fatally for him, he took a foolish way of showing his + remembrance of it. He sought out Alexander Davis, the Judge of the + Court, and drawing a cocked Derringer, he presented it at his head, and + told him that he should hold him as a hostage for his own safety. As the + judge stood perfectly quiet, and offered no resistance to his captor, no + further outrage followed on this score. Previous to this, on account of + the critical state of affairs, the committee had met, and at last + resolved to arrest him. His execution had not been agreed upon, and, at + that time, would have been negatived, most assuredly. A messenger rode + down to Nevada to inform the leading men of what was on hand, as it was + desirable to show that there was a feeling of unanimity on the subject, + all along the gulch. + </p> + <p> + The miners turned out almost en masse, leaving their work and forming in + solid column about six hundred strong, armed to the teeth, they marched + up to Virginia. The leader of the body well knew the temper of his men + on the subject. He spurred on ahead of them, and hastily calling a + meeting of the executive, he told them plainly that the miners meant + "business," and that, if they came up, they would not stand in the + street to be shot down by Slade's friends; but that they would take him + and hang him. The meeting was small, as the Virginia men were loath to + act at all. This momentous announcement of the feeling of the Lower Town + was made to a cluster of men, who were deliberation behind a wagon, at + the rear of a store on Main street. + </p> + <p> + The committee were most unwilling to proceed to extremities. All the + duty they had ever performed seemed as nothing to the task before them; + but they had to decide, and that quickly. It was finally agreed that if + the whole body of the miners were of the opinion that he should be + hanged, that the committee left it in their hands to deal with him. Off, + at hot speed, rode the leader of the Nevada men to join his command. + </p> + <p> + Slade had found out what was intended, and the news sobered him + instantly. He went into P. S. Pfouts' store, where Davis was, and + apologized for his conduct, saying that he would take it all back. + </p> + <p> + The head of the column now wheeled into Wallace street and marched up at + quick time. Halting in front of the store, the executive officer of the + committee stepped forward and arrested Slade, who was at once informed + of his doom, and inquiry was made as to whether he had any business to + settle. Several parties spoke to him on the subject; but to all such + inquiries he turned a deaf ear, being entirely absorbed in the + terrifying reflections on his own awful position. He never ceased his + entreaties for life, and to see his dear wife. The unfortunate lady + referred to, between whom and Slade there existed a warm affection, was + at this time living at their ranch on the Madison. She was possessed of + considerable personal attractions; tall, well-formed, of graceful + carriage, pleasing manners, and was, withal, an accomplished horsewoman. + </p> + <p> + A messenger from Slade rode at full speed to inform her of her husband's + arrest. In an instant she was in the saddle, and with all the energy + that love and despair could lend to an ardent temperament and a strong + physique, she urged her fleet charger over the twelve miles of rough and + rocky ground that intervened between her and the object of her + passionate devotion. + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile a party of volunteers had made the necessary preparations for + the execution, in the valley traversed by the branch. Beneath the site + of Pfouts and Russell's stone building there was a corral, the + gate-posts of which were strong and high. Across the top was laid a + beam, to which the rope was fastened, and a dry-goods box served for the + platform. To this place Slade was marched, surrounded by a guard, + composing the best armed and most numerous force that has ever appeared + in Montana Territory. + </p> + <p> + The doomed man had so exhausted himself by tears, prayers and + lamentations, that he had scarcely strength left to stand under the + fatal beam. He repeatedly exclaimed, "My God! my God! must I die? Oh, my + dear wife!" + </p> + <p> + On the return of the fatigue party, they encountered some friends of + Slade, staunch and reliable citizens and members of the committee, but + who were personally attached to the condemned. On hearing of his + sentence, one of them, a stout-hearted man, pulled out his handkerchief + and walked away, weeping like a child. Slade still begged to see his + wife, most piteously, and it seemed hard to deny his request; but the + bloody consequences that were sure to follow the inevitable attempt at a + rescue, that her presence and entreaties would have certainly incited, + forbade the granting of his request. Several gentlemen were sent for to + see him, in his last moments, one of whom (Judge Davis) made a short + address to the people; but in such low tones as to be inaudible, save to + a few in his immediate vicinity. One of his friends, after exhausting + his powers of entreaty, threw off his coat and declared that the + prisoner could not be hanged until he himself was killed. A hundred guns + were instantly leveled at him; whereupon he turned and fled; but, being + brought back, he was compelled to resume his coat, and to give a promise + of future peaceable demeanor. + </p> + <p> + Scarcely a leading man in Virginia could be found, though numbers of the + citizens joined the ranks of the guard when the arrest was made. All + lamented the stern necessity which dictated the execution. + </p> + <p> + Everything being ready, the command was given, "Men, do your duty," and + the box being instantly slipped from beneath his feet, he died almost + instantaneously. + </p> + <p> + The body was cut down and carried to the Virginia Hotel, where, in a + darkened room, it was scarcely laid out, when the unfortunate and + bereaved companion of the deceased arrived, at headlong speed, to find + that all was over, and that she was a widow. Her grief and + heart-piercing cries were terrible evidences of the depth of her + attachment for her lost husband, and a considerable period elapsed + before she could regain the command of her excited feelings. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link095" id="link095"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="095.jpg (48K)" src="images/095.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + There is something about the desperado-nature that is wholly unaccountable—at + least it looks unaccountable. It is this. The true desperado is gifted + with splendid courage, and yet he will take the most infamous advantage of + his enemy; armed and free, he will stand up before a host and fight until + he is shot all to pieces, and yet when he is under the gallows and + helpless he will cry and plead like a child. Words are cheap, and it is + easy to call Slade a coward (all executed men who do not "die game" are + promptly called cowards by unreflecting people), and when we read of Slade + that he "had so exhausted himself by tears, prayers and lamentations, that + he had scarcely strength left to stand under the fatal beam," the + disgraceful word suggests itself in a moment—yet in frequently + defying and inviting the vengeance of banded Rocky Mountain cut-throats by + shooting down their comrades and leaders, and never offering to hide or + fly, Slade showed that he was a man of peerless bravery. No coward would + dare that. Many a notorious coward, many a chicken-livered poltroon, + coarse, brutal, degraded, has made his dying speech without a quaver in + his voice and been swung into eternity with what looked liked the calmest + fortitude, and so we are justified in believing, from the low intellect of + such a creature, that it was not moral courage that enabled him to do it. + Then, if moral courage is not the requisite quality, what could it have + been that this stout-hearted Slade lacked?—this bloody, desperate, + kindly-mannered, urbane gentleman, who never hesitated to warn his most + ruffianly enemies that he would kill them whenever or wherever he came + across them next! I think it is a conundrum worth investigating. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch12" id="linkch12"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Just beyond the breakfast-station we overtook a Mormon emigrant train of + thirty-three wagons; and tramping wearily along and driving their herd of + loose cows, were dozens of coarse-clad and sad-looking men, women and + children, who had walked as they were walking now, day after day for eight + lingering weeks, and in that time had compassed the distance our stage had + come in eight days and three hours—seven hundred and ninety- eight + miles! They were dusty and uncombed, hatless, bonnetless and ragged, and + they did look so tired! + </p> + <p> + After breakfast, we bathed in Horse Creek, a (previously) limpid, + sparkling stream—an appreciated luxury, for it was very seldom that + our furious coach halted long enough for an indulgence of that kind. We + changed horses ten or twelve times in every twenty-four hours—changed + mules, rather—six mules—and did it nearly every time in four + minutes. It was lively work. As our coach rattled up to each station six + harnessed mules stepped gayly from the stable; and in the twinkling of an + eye, almost, the old team was out, and the new one in and we off and away + again. + </p> + <p> + During the afternoon we passed Sweetwater Creek, Independence Rock, + Devil's Gate and the Devil's Gap. The latter were wild specimens of rugged + scenery, and full of interest—we were in the heart of the Rocky + Mountains, now. And we also passed by "Alkali" or "Soda Lake," and we woke + up to the fact that our journey had stretched a long way across the world + when the driver said that the Mormons often came there from Great Salt + Lake City to haul away saleratus. He said that a few days gone by they had + shoveled up enough pure saleratus from the ground (it was a dry lake) to + load two wagons, and that when they got these two wagons-loads of a drug + that cost them nothing, to Salt Lake, they could sell it for twenty-five + cents a pound. + </p> + <p> + In the night we sailed by a most notable curiosity, and one we had been + hearing a good deal about for a day or two, and were suffering to see. + This was what might be called a natural ice-house. It was August, now, and + sweltering weather in the daytime, yet at one of the stations the men + could scape the soil on the hill-side under the lee of a range of + boulders, and at a depth of six inches cut out pure blocks of ice—hard, + compactly frozen, and clear as crystal! + </p> + <p> + Toward dawn we got under way again, and presently as we sat with raised + curtains enjoying our early-morning smoke and contemplating the first + splendor of the rising sun as it swept down the long array of mountain + peaks, flushing and gilding crag after crag and summit after summit, as if + the invisible Creator reviewed his gray veterans and they saluted with a + smile, we hove in sight of South Pass City. The hotel-keeper, the + postmaster, the blacksmith, the mayor, the constable, the city marshal and + the principal citizen and property holder, all came out and greeted us + cheerily, and we gave him good day. He gave us a little Indian news, and a + little Rocky Mountain news, and we gave him some Plains information in + return. He then retired to his lonely grandeur and we climbed on up among + the bristling peaks and the ragged clouds. South Pass City consisted of + four log cabins, one if which was unfinished, and the gentleman with all + those offices and titles was the chiefest of the ten citizens of the + place. Think of hotel-keeper, postmaster, blacksmith, mayor, constable, + city marshal and principal citizen all condensed into one person and + crammed into one skin. Bemis said he was "a perfect Allen's revolver of + dignities." And he said that if he were to die as postmaster, or as + blacksmith, or as postmaster and blacksmith both, the people might stand + it; but if he were to die all over, it would be a frightful loss to the + community. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link099" id="link099"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="099.jpg (57K)" src="images/099.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Two miles beyond South Pass City we saw for the first time that mysterious + marvel which all Western untraveled boys have heard of and fully believe + in, but are sure to be astounded at when they see it with their own eyes, + nevertheless—banks of snow in dead summer time. We were now far up + toward the sky, and knew all the time that we must presently encounter + lofty summits clad in the "eternal snow" which was so common place a + matter of mention in books, and yet when I did see it glittering in the + sun on stately domes in the distance and knew the month was August and + that my coat was hanging up because it was too warm to wear it, I was full + as much amazed as if I never had heard of snow in August before. Truly, + "seeing is believing"—and many a man lives a long life through, + thinking he believes certain universally received and well established + things, and yet never suspects that if he were confronted by those things + once, he would discover that he did not really believe them before, but + only thought he believed them. + </p> + <p> + In a little while quite a number of peaks swung into view with long claws + of glittering snow clasping them; and with here and there, in the shade, + down the mountain side, a little solitary patch of snow looking no larger + than a lady's pocket-handkerchief but being in reality as large as a + "public square." + </p> + <p> + And now, at last, we were fairly in the renowned SOUTH PASS, and whirling + gayly along high above the common world. We were perched upon the extreme + summit of the great range of the Rocky Mountains, toward which we had been + climbing, patiently climbing, ceaselessly climbing, for days and nights + together—and about us was gathered a convention of Nature's kings + that stood ten, twelve, and even thirteen thousand feet high—grand + old fellows who would have to stoop to see Mount Washington, in the + twilight. We were in such an airy elevation above the creeping populations + of the earth, that now and then when the obstructing crags stood out of + the way it seemed that we could look around and abroad and contemplate the + whole great globe, with its dissolving views of mountains, seas and + continents stretching away through the mystery of the summer haze. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link100" id="link100"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="100.jpg (164K)" src="images/100.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + As a general thing the Pass was more suggestive of a valley than a + suspension bridge in the clouds—but it strongly suggested the latter + at one spot. At that place the upper third of one or two majestic purple + domes projected above our level on either hand and gave us a sense of a + hidden great deep of mountains and plains and valleys down about their + bases which we fancied we might see if we could step to the edge and look + over. These Sultans of the fastnesses were turbaned with tumbled volumes + of cloud, which shredded away from time to time and drifted off fringed + and torn, trailing their continents of shadow after them; and catching + presently on an intercepting peak, wrapped it about and brooded there—then + shredded away again and left the purple peak, as they had left the purple + domes, downy and white with new-laid snow. In passing, these monstrous + rags of cloud hung low and swept along right over the spectator's head, + swinging their tatters so nearly in his face that his impulse was to + shrink when they came closet. In the one place I speak of, one could look + below him upon a world of diminishing crags and canyons leading down, + down, and away to a vague plain with a thread in it which was a road, and + bunches of feathers in it which were trees,—a pretty picture + sleeping in the sunlight—but with a darkness stealing over it and + glooming its features deeper and deeper under the frown of a coming storm; + and then, while no film or shadow marred the noon brightness of his high + perch, he could watch the tempest break forth down there and see the + lightnings leap from crag to crag and the sheeted rain drive along the + canyon-sides, and hear the thunders peal and crash and roar. We had this + spectacle; a familiar one to many, but to us a novelty. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link101" id="link101"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="101.jpg (164K)" src="images/101.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We bowled along cheerily, and presently, at the very summit (though it had + been all summit to us, and all equally level, for half an hour or more), + we came to a spring which spent its water through two outlets and sent it + in opposite directions. The conductor said that one of those streams which + we were looking at, was just starting on a journey westward to the Gulf of + California and the Pacific Ocean, through hundreds and even thousands of + miles of desert solitudes. He said that the other was just leaving its + home among the snow-peaks on a similar journey eastward—and we knew + that long after we should have forgotten the simple rivulet it would still + be plodding its patient way down the mountain sides, and canyon-beds, and + between the banks of the Yellowstone; and by and by would join the broad + Missouri and flow through unknown plains and deserts and unvisited + wildernesses; and add a long and troubled pilgrimage among snags and + wrecks and sandbars; and enter the Mississippi, touch the wharves of St. + Louis and still drift on, traversing shoals and rocky channels, then + endless chains of bottomless and ample bends, walled with unbroken + forests, then mysterious byways and secret passages among woody islands, + then the chained bends again, bordered with wide levels of shining + sugar-cane in place of the sombre forests; then by New Orleans and still + other chains of bends—and finally, after two long months of daily + and nightly harassment, excitement, enjoyment, adventure, and awful peril + of parched throats, pumps and evaporation, pass the Gulf and enter into + its rest upon the bosom of the tropic sea, never to look upon its + snow-peaks again or regret them. + </p> + <p> + I freighted a leaf with a mental message for the friends at home, and + dropped it in the stream. But I put no stamp on it and it was held for + postage somewhere. + </p> + <p> + On the summit we overtook an emigrant train of many wagons, many tired men + and women, and many a disgusted sheep and cow. + </p> + <p> + In the wofully dusty horseman in charge of the expedition I recognized + John ——. Of all persons in the world to meet on top of the + Rocky Mountains thousands of miles from home, he was the last one I should + have looked for. We were school-boys together and warm friends for years. + But a boyish prank of mine had disruptured this friendship and it had + never been renewed. The act of which I speak was this. I had been + accustomed to visit occasionally an editor whose room was in the third + story of a building and overlooked the street. One day this editor gave me + a watermelon which I made preparations to devour on the spot, but chancing + to look out of the window, I saw John standing directly under it and an + irresistible desire came upon me to drop the melon on his head, which I + immediately did. I was the loser, for it spoiled the melon, and John never + forgave me and we dropped all intercourse and parted, but now met again + under these circumstances. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link102" id="link102"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="102.jpg (41K)" src="images/102.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We recognized each other simultaneously, and hands were grasped as warmly + as if no coldness had ever existed between us, and no allusion was made to + any. All animosities were buried and the simple fact of meeting a familiar + face in that isolated spot so far from home, was sufficient to make us + forget all things but pleasant ones, and we parted again with sincere + "good-bye" and "God bless you" from both. + </p> + <p> + We had been climbing up the long shoulders of the Rocky Mountains for many + tedious hours—we started down them, now. And we went spinning away + at a round rate too. + </p> + <p> + We left the snowy Wind River Mountains and Uinta Mountains behind, and + sped away, always through splendid scenery but occasionally through long + ranks of white skeletons of mules and oxen—monuments of the huge + emigration of other days—and here and there were up-ended boards or + small piles of stones which the driver said marked the resting-place of + more precious remains. + </p> + <p> + It was the loneliest land for a grave! A land given over to the cayote and + the raven—which is but another name for desolation and utter + solitude. On damp, murky nights, these scattered skeletons gave forth a + soft, hideous glow, like very faint spots of moonlight starring the vague + desert. It was because of the phosphorus in the bones. But no scientific + explanation could keep a body from shivering when he drifted by one of + those ghostly lights and knew that a skull held it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link103" id="link103"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="103.jpg (35K)" src="images/103.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + At midnight it began to rain, and I never saw anything like it—indeed, + I did not even see this, for it was too dark. We fastened down the + curtains and even caulked them with clothing, but the rain streamed in in + twenty places, nothwithstanding. There was no escape. If one moved his + feet out of a stream, he brought his body under one; and if he moved his + body he caught one somewhere else. If he struggled out of the drenched + blankets and sat up, he was bound to get one down the back of his neck. + Meantime the stage was wandering about a plain with gaping gullies in it, + for the driver could not see an inch before his face nor keep the road, + and the storm pelted so pitilessly that there was no keeping the horses + still. With the first abatement the conductor turned out with lanterns to + look for the road, and the first dash he made was into a chasm about + fourteen feet deep, his lantern following like a meteor. As soon as he + touched bottom he sang out frantically: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link104" id="link104"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="104.jpg (30K)" src="images/104.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Don't come here!" + </p> + <p> + To which the driver, who was looking over the precipice where he had + disappeared, replied, with an injured air: "Think I'm a dam fool?" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link105" id="link105"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="105.jpg (30K)" src="images/105.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The conductor was more than an hour finding the road—a matter which + showed us how far we had wandered and what chances we had been taking. He + traced our wheel-tracks to the imminent verge of danger, in two places. I + have always been glad that we were not killed that night. I do not know + any particular reason, but I have always been glad. In the morning, the + tenth day out, we crossed Green River, a fine, large, limpid stream—stuck + in it with the water just up to the top of our mail- bed, and waited till + extra teams were put on to haul us up the steep bank. But it was nice cool + water, and besides it could not find any fresh place on us to wet. + </p> + <p> + At the Green River station we had breakfast—hot biscuits, fresh + antelope steaks, and coffee—the only decent meal we tasted between + the United States and Great Salt Lake City, and the only one we were ever + really thankful for. + </p> + <p> + Think of the monotonous execrableness of the thirty that went before it, + to leave this one simple breakfast looming up in my memory like a shot- + tower after all these years have gone by! + </p> + <p> + At five P.M. we reached Fort Bridger, one hundred and seventeen miles from + the South Pass, and one thousand and twenty-five miles from St. Joseph. + Fifty-two miles further on, near the head of Echo Canyon, we met sixty + United States soldiers from Camp Floyd. The day before, they had fired + upon three hundred or four hundred Indians, whom they supposed gathered + together for no good purpose. In the fight that had ensued, four Indians + were captured, and the main body chased four miles, but nobody killed. + This looked like business. We had a notion to get out and join the sixty + soldiers, but upon reflecting that there were four hundred of the Indians, + we concluded to go on and join the Indians. + </p> + <p> + Echo Canyon is twenty miles long. It was like a long, smooth, narrow + street, with a gradual descending grade, and shut in by enormous + perpendicular walls of coarse conglomerate, four hundred feet high in many + places, and turreted like mediaeval castles. This was the most faultless + piece of road in the mountains, and the driver said he would "let his team + out." He did, and if the Pacific express trains whiz through there now any + faster than we did then in the stage-coach, I envy the passengers the + exhilaration of it. We fairly seemed to pick up our wheels and fly—and + the mail matter was lifted up free from everything and held in solution! I + am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it. + </p> + <p> + However, time presses. At four in the afternoon we arrived on the summit + of Big Mountain, fifteen miles from Salt Lake City, when all the world was + glorified with the setting sun, and the most stupendous panorama of + mountain peaks yet encountered burst on our sight. We looked out upon this + sublime spectacle from under the arch of a brilliant rainbow! Even the + overland stage-driver stopped his horses and gazed! + </p> + <p> + Half an hour or an hour later, we changed horses, and took supper with a + Mormon "Destroying Angel." + </p> + <p> + "Destroying Angels," as I understand it, are Latter-Day Saints who are set + apart by the Church to conduct permanent disappearances of obnoxious + citizens. I had heard a deal about these Mormon Destroying Angels and the + dark and bloody deeds they had done, and when I entered this one's house I + had my shudder all ready. But alas for all our romances, he was nothing + but a loud, profane, offensive, old blackguard! He was murderous enough, + possibly, to fill the bill of a Destroyer, but would you have any kind of + an Angel devoid of dignity? Could you abide an Angel in an unclean shirt + and no suspenders? Could you respect an Angel with a horse-laugh and a + swagger like a buccaneer? + </p> + <p> + <a name="link106" id="link106"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="106.jpg (47K)" src="images/106.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + There were other blackguards present—comrades of this one. And there + was one person that looked like a gentleman—Heber C. Kimball's son, + tall and well made, and thirty years old, perhaps. A lot of slatternly + women flitted hither and thither in a hurry, with coffee-pots, plates of + bread, and other appurtenances to supper, and these were said to be the + wives of the Angel—or some of them, at least. And of course they + were; for if they had been hired "help" they would not have let an angel + from above storm and swear at them as he did, let alone one from the place + this one hailed from. + </p> + <p> + This was our first experience of the western "peculiar institution," and + it was not very prepossessing. We did not tarry long to observe it, but + hurried on to the home of the Latter-Day Saints, the stronghold of the + prophets, the capital of the only absolute monarch in America—Great + Salt Lake City. As the night closed in we took sanctuary in the Salt Lake + House and unpacked our baggage. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch13" id="linkch13"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We had a fine supper, of the freshest meats and fowls and vegetables—a + great variety and as great abundance. We walked about the streets some, + afterward, and glanced in at shops and stores; and there was fascination + in surreptitiously staring at every creature we took to be a Mormon. This + was fairy-land to us, to all intents and purposes—a land of + enchantment, and goblins, and awful mystery. We felt a curiosity to ask + every child how many mothers it had, and if it could tell them apart; and + we experienced a thrill every time a dwelling-house door opened and shut + as we passed, disclosing a glimpse of human heads and backs and shoulders—for + we so longed to have a good satisfying look at a Mormon family in all its + comprehensive ampleness, disposed in the customary concentric rings of its + home circle. + </p> + <p> + By and by the Acting Governor of the Territory introduced us to other + "Gentiles," and we spent a sociable hour with them. "Gentiles" are people + who are not Mormons. Our fellow-passenger, Bemis, took care of himself, + during this part of the evening, and did not make an overpowering success + of it, either, for he came into our room in the hotel about eleven + o'clock, full of cheerfulness, and talking loosely, disjointedly and + indiscriminately, and every now and then tugging out a ragged word by the + roots that had more hiccups than syllables in it. This, together with his + hanging his coat on the floor on one side of a chair, and his vest on the + floor on the other side, and piling his pants on the floor just in front + of the same chair, and then comtemplating the general result with + superstitious awe, and finally pronouncing it "too many for him" and going + to bed with his boots on, led us to fear that something he had eaten had + not agreed with him. + </p> + <p> + But we knew afterward that it was something he had been drinking. It was + the exclusively Mormon refresher, "valley tan." + </p> + <p> + Valley tan (or, at least, one form of valley tan) is a kind of whisky, or + first cousin to it; is of Mormon invention and manufactured only in Utah. + Tradition says it is made of (imported) fire and brimstone. If I remember + rightly no public drinking saloons were allowed in the kingdom by Brigham + Young, and no private drinking permitted among the faithful, except they + confined themselves to "valley tan." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link109" id="link109"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="109.jpg (55K)" src="images/109.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Next day we strolled about everywhere through the broad, straight, level + streets, and enjoyed the pleasant strangeness of a city of fifteen + thousand inhabitants with no loafers perceptible in it; and no visible + drunkards or noisy people; a limpid stream rippling and dancing through + every street in place of a filthy gutter; block after block of trim + dwellings, built of "frame" and sunburned brick—a great thriving + orchard and garden behind every one of them, apparently—branches + from the street stream winding and sparkling among the garden beds and + fruit trees—and a grand general air of neatness, repair, thrift and + comfort, around and about and over the whole. And everywhere were + workshops, factories, and all manner of industries; and intent faces and + busy hands were to be seen wherever one looked; and in one's ears was the + ceaseless clink of hammers, the buzz of trade and the contented hum of + drums and fly-wheels. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link110a" id="link110a"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="110a.jpg (25K)" src="images/110a.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The armorial crest of my own State consisted of two dissolute bears + holding up the head of a dead and gone cask between them and making the + pertinent remark, "UNITED, WE STAND—(hic!)—DIVIDED, WE FALL." + It was always too figurative for the author of this book. But the Mormon + crest was easy. And it was simple, unostentatious, and fitted like a + glove. It was a representation of a GOLDEN BEEHIVE, with the bees all at + work! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link110b" id="link110b"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="110b.jpg (23K)" src="images/110b.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The city lies in the edge of a level plain as broad as the State of + Connecticut, and crouches close down to the ground under a curving wall of + mighty mountains whose heads are hidden in the clouds, and whose shoulders + bear relics of the snows of winter all the summer long. + </p> + <p> + Seen from one of these dizzy heights, twelve or fifteen miles off, Great + Salt Lake City is toned down and diminished till it is suggestive of a + child's toy-village reposing under the majestic protection of the Chinese + wall. + </p> + <p> + On some of those mountains, to the southwest, it had been raining every + day for two weeks, but not a drop had fallen in the city. And on hot days + in late spring and early autumn the citizens could quit fanning and + growling and go out and cool off by looking at the luxury of a glorious + snow-storm going on in the mountains. They could enjoy it at a distance, + at those seasons, every day, though no snow would fall in their streets, + or anywhere near them. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link111" id="link111"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="111.jpg (83K)" src="images/111.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Salt Lake City was healthy—an extremely healthy city. They declared + there was only one physician in the place and he was arrested every week + regularly and held to answer under the vagrant act for having "no visible + means of support." They always give you a good substantial article of + truth in Salt Lake, and good measure and good weight, too. [Very often, if + you wished to weigh one of their airiest little commonplace statements you + would want the hay scales.] + </p> + <p> + We desired to visit the famous inland sea, the American "Dead Sea," the + great Salt Lake—seventeen miles, horseback, from the city—for + we had dreamed about it, and thought about it, and talked about it, and + yearned to see it, all the first part of our trip; but now when it was + only arm's length away it had suddenly lost nearly every bit of its + interest. And so we put it off, in a sort of general way, till next day—and + that was the last we ever thought of it. We dined with some hospitable + Gentiles; and visited the foundation of the prodigious temple; and talked + long with that shrewd Connecticut Yankee, Heber C. Kimball (since + deceased), a saint of high degree and a mighty man of commerce. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link112" id="link112"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="112.jpg (21K)" src="images/112.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We saw the "Tithing-House," and the "Lion House," and I do not know or + remember how many more church and government buildings of various kinds + and curious names. We flitted hither and thither and enjoyed every hour, + and picked up a great deal of useful information and entertaining + nonsense, and went to bed at night satisfied. + </p> + <p> + The second day, we made the acquaintance of Mr. Street (since deceased) + and put on white shirts and went and paid a state visit to the king. He + seemed a quiet, kindly, easy-mannered, dignified, self-possessed old + gentleman of fifty-five or sixty, and had a gentle craft in his eye that + probably belonged there. He was very simply dressed and was just taking + off a straw hat as we entered. He talked about Utah, and the Indians, and + Nevada, and general American matters and questions, with our secretary and + certain government officials who came with us. But he never paid any + attention to me, notwithstanding I made several attempts to "draw him out" + on federal politics and his high handed attitude toward Congress. I + thought some of the things I said were rather fine. But he merely looked + around at me, at distant intervals, something as I have seen a benignant + old cat look around to see which kitten was meddling with her tail. + </p> + <p> + By and by I subsided into an indignant silence, and so sat until the end, + hot and flushed, and execrating him in my heart for an ignorant savage. + But he was calm. His conversation with those gentlemen flowed on as + sweetly and peacefully and musically as any summer brook. When the + audience was ended and we were retiring from the presence, he put his hand + on my head, beamed down on me in an admiring way and said to my brother: + </p> + <p> + "Ah—your child, I presume? Boy, or girl?" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link113" id="link113"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="113.jpg (49K)" src="images/113.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch14" id="linkch14"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Mr. Street was very busy with his telegraphic matters—and + considering that he had eight or nine hundred miles of rugged, snowy, + uninhabited mountains, and waterless, treeless, melancholy deserts to + traverse with his wire, it was natural and needful that he should be as + busy as possible. He could not go comfortably along and cut his poles by + the road-side, either, but they had to be hauled by ox teams across those + exhausting deserts—and it was two days' journey from water to water, + in one or two of them. Mr. Street's contract was a vast work, every way + one looked at it; and yet to comprehend what the vague words "eight + hundred miles of rugged mountains and dismal deserts" mean, one must go + over the ground in person—pen and ink descriptions cannot convey the + dreary reality to the reader. And after all, Mr. S.'s mightiest difficulty + turned out to be one which he had never taken into the account at all. + Unto Mormons he had sub-let the hardest and heaviest half of his great + undertaking, and all of a sudden they concluded that they were going to + make little or nothing, and so they tranquilly threw their poles overboard + in mountain or desert, just as it happened when they took the notion, and + drove home and went about their customary business! They were under + written contract to Mr. Street, but they did not care anything for that. + They said they would "admire" to see a "Gentile" force a Mormon to fulfil + a losing contract in Utah! And they made themselves very merry over the + matter. Street said—for it was he that told us these things: + </p> + <p> + "I was in dismay. I was under heavy bonds to complete my contract in a + given time, and this disaster looked very much like ruin. It was an + astounding thing; it was such a wholly unlooked-for difficulty, that I was + entirely nonplussed. I am a business man—have always been a business + man—do not know anything but business—and so you can imagine + how like being struck by lightning it was to find myself in a country + where written contracts were worthless!—that main security, that + sheet- anchor, that absolute necessity, of business. My confidence left + me. There was no use in making new contracts—that was plain. I + talked with first one prominent citizen and then another. They all + sympathized with me, first rate, but they did not know how to help me. But + at last a Gentile said, 'Go to Brigham Young!—these small fry cannot + do you any good.' I did not think much of the idea, for if the law could + not help me, what could an individual do who had not even anything to do + with either making the laws or executing them? He might be a very good + patriarch of a church and preacher in its tabernacle, but something + sterner than religion and moral suasion was needed to handle a hundred + refractory, half-civilized sub-contractors. But what was a man to do? I + thought if Mr. Young could not do anything else, he might probably be able + to give me some advice and a valuable hint or two, and so I went straight + to him and laid the whole case before him. He said very little, but he + showed strong interest all the way through. He examined all the papers in + detail, and whenever there seemed anything like a hitch, either in the + papers or my statement, he would go back and take up the thread and follow + it patiently out to an intelligent and satisfactory result. Then he made a + list of the contractors' names. Finally he said: + </p> + <p> + "'Mr. Street, this is all perfectly plain. These contracts are strictly + and legally drawn, and are duly signed and certified. These men manifestly + entered into them with their eyes open. I see no fault or flaw anywhere.' + </p> + <p> + "Then Mr. Young turned to a man waiting at the other end of the room and + said: 'Take this list of names to So-and-so, and tell him to have these + men here at such-and-such an hour.' + </p> + <p> + "They were there, to the minute. So was I. Mr. Young asked them a number + of questions, and their answers made my statement good. Then he said to + them: + </p> + <p> + "'You signed these contracts and assumed these obligations of your own + free will and accord?' + </p> + <p> + "'Yes.' + </p> + <p> + "'Then carry them out to the letter, if it makes paupers of you! Go!' + </p> + <p> + <a name="link116" id="link116"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="116.jpg (101K)" src="images/116.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "And they did go, too! They are strung across the deserts now, working + like bees. And I never hear a word out of them. + </p> + <p> + "There is a batch of governors, and judges, and other officials here, + shipped from Washington, and they maintain the semblance of a republican + form of government—but the petrified truth is that Utah is an + absolute monarchy and Brigham Young is king!" + </p> + <p> + Mr. Street was a fine man, and I believe his story. I knew him well during + several years afterward in San Francisco. + </p> + <p> + Our stay in Salt Lake City amounted to only two days, and therefore we had + no time to make the customary inquisition into the workings of polygamy + and get up the usual statistics and deductions preparatory to calling the + attention of the nation at large once more to the matter. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link117" id="link117"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="117.jpg (104K)" src="images/117.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I had the will to do it. With the gushing self-sufficiency of youth I was + feverish to plunge in headlong and achieve a great reform here—until + I saw the Mormon women. Then I was touched. My heart was wiser than my + head. It warmed toward these poor, ungainly and pathetically "homely" + creatures, and as I turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes, I + said, "No—the man that marries one of them has done an act of + Christian charity which entitles him to the kindly applause of mankind, + not their harsh censure—and the man that marries sixty of them has + done a deed of open-handed generosity so sublime that the nations should + stand uncovered in his presence and worship in silence." + </p> + <p> + [For a brief sketch of Mormon history, and the noted Mountain Meadow + massacre, see Appendices A and B. ] + </p> + <p> + <a name="link118" id="link118"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="118.jpg (82K)" src="images/118.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch15" id="linkch15"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + It is a luscious country for thrilling evening stories about + assassinations of intractable Gentiles. I cannot easily conceive of + anything more cosy than the night in Salt Lake which we spent in a Gentile + den, smoking pipes and listening to tales of how Burton galloped in among + the pleading and defenceless "Morisites" and shot them down, men and + women, like so many dogs. And how Bill Hickman, a Destroying Angel, shot + Drown and Arnold dead for bringing suit against him for a debt. And how + Porter Rockwell did this and that dreadful thing. And how heedless people + often come to Utah and make remarks about Brigham, or polygamy, or some + other sacred matter, and the very next morning at daylight such parties + are sure to be found lying up some back alley, contentedly waiting for the + hearse. + </p> + <p> + And the next most interesting thing is to sit and listen to these Gentiles + talk about polygamy; and how some portly old frog of an elder, or a + bishop, marries a girl—likes her, marries her sister—likes + her, marries another sister—likes her, takes another—likes + her, marries her mother—likes her, marries her father, grandfather, + great grandfather, and then comes back hungry and asks for more. And how + the pert young thing of eleven will chance to be the favorite wife and her + own venerable grandmother have to rank away down toward D 4 in their + mutual husband's esteem, and have to sleep in the kitchen, as like as not. + And how this dreadful sort of thing, this hiving together in one foul nest + of mother and daughters, and the making a young daughter superior to her + own mother in rank and authority, are things which Mormon women submit to + because their religion teaches them that the more wives a man has on + earth, and the more children he rears, the higher the place they will all + have in the world to come—and the warmer, maybe, though they do not + seem to say anything about that. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link120" id="link120"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="120.jpg (96K)" src="images/120.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + According to these Gentile friends of ours, Brigham Young's harem contains + twenty or thirty wives. They said that some of them had grown old and gone + out of active service, but were comfortably housed and cared for in the + henery—or the Lion House, as it is strangely named. Along with each + wife were her children—fifty altogether. The house was perfectly + quiet and orderly, when the children were still. They all took their meals + in one room, and a happy and home-like sight it was pronounced to be. None + of our party got an opportunity to take dinner with Mr. Young, but a + Gentile by the name of Johnson professed to have enjoyed a sociable + breakfast in the Lion House. He gave a preposterous account of the + "calling of the roll," and other preliminaries, and the carnage that + ensued when the buckwheat cakes came in. But he embellished rather too + much. He said that Mr. Young told him several smart sayings of certain of + his "two-year-olds," observing with some pride that for many years he had + been the heaviest contributor in that line to one of the Eastern + magazines; and then he wanted to show Mr. Johnson one of the pets that had + said the last good thing, but he could not find the child. + </p> + <p> + He searched the faces of the children in detail, but could not decide + which one it was. Finally he gave it up with a sigh and said: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link121" id="link121"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="121.jpg (86K)" src="images/121.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "I thought I would know the little cub again but I don't." Mr. Johnson + said further, that Mr. Young observed that life was a sad, sad thing—"because + the joy of every new marriage a man contracted was so apt to be blighted + by the inopportune funeral of a less recent bride." And Mr. Johnson said + that while he and Mr. Young were pleasantly conversing in private, one of + the Mrs. Youngs came in and demanded a breast-pin, remarking that she had + found out that he had been giving a breast-pin to No. 6, and she, for one, + did not propose to let this partiality go on without making a satisfactory + amount of trouble about it. Mr. Young reminded her that there was a + stranger present. Mrs. Young said that if the state of things inside the + house was not agreeable to the stranger, he could find room outside. Mr. + Young promised the breast-pin, and she went away. But in a minute or two + another Mrs. Young came in and demanded a breast-pin. Mr. Young began a + remonstrance, but Mrs. Young cut him short. She said No. 6 had got one, + and No. 11 was promised one, and it was "no use for him to try to impose + on her—she hoped she knew her rights." He gave his promise, and she + went. And presently three Mrs. Youngs entered in a body and opened on + their husband a tempest of tears, abuse, and entreaty. They had heard all + about No. 6, No. 11, and No. 14. Three more breast-pins were promised. + They were hardly gone when nine more Mrs. Youngs filed into the presence, + and a new tempest burst forth and raged round about the prophet and his + guest. Nine breast-pins were promised, and the weird sisters filed out + again. And in came eleven more, weeping and wailing and gnashing their + teeth. Eleven promised breast-pins purchased peace once more. + </p> + <p> + "That is a specimen," said Mr. Young. "You see how it is. You see what a + life I lead. A man can't be wise all the time. In a heedless moment I gave + my darling No. 6—excuse my calling her thus, as her other name has + escaped me for the moment—a breast-pin. It was only worth + twenty-five dollars—that is, apparently that was its whole cost—but + its ultimate cost was inevitably bound to be a good deal more. You + yourself have seen it climb up to six hundred and fifty dollars—and + alas, even that is not the end! For I have wives all over this Territory + of Utah. I have dozens of wives whose numbers, even, I do not know without + looking in the family Bible. They are scattered far and wide among the + mountains and valleys of my realm. And mark you, every solitary one of + them will hear of this wretched breast pin, and every last one of them + will have one or die. No. 6's breast pin will cost me twenty-five hundred + dollars before I see the end of it. And these creatures will compare these + pins together, and if one is a shade finer than the rest, they will all be + thrown on my hands, and I will have to order a new lot to keep peace in + the family. Sir, you probably did not know it, but all the time you were + present with my children your every movement was watched by vigilant + servitors of mine. If you had offered to give a child a dime, or a stick + of candy, or any trifle of the kind, you would have been snatched out of + the house instantly, provided it could be done before your gift left your + hand. Otherwise it would be absolutely necessary for you to make an + exactly similar gift to all my children—and knowing by experience + the importance of the thing, I would have stood by and seen to it myself + that you did it, and did it thoroughly. Once a gentleman gave one of my + children a tin whistle—a veritable invention of Satan, sir, and one + which I have an unspeakable horror of, and so would you if you had eighty + or ninety children in your house. But the deed was done—the man + escaped. I knew what the result was going to be, and I thirsted for + vengeance. I ordered out a flock of Destroying Angels, and they hunted the + man far into the fastnesses of the Nevada mountains. But they never caught + him. I am not cruel, sir—I am not vindictive except when sorely + outraged—but if I had caught him, sir, so help me Joseph Smith, I + would have locked him into the nursery till the brats whistled him to + death. By the slaughtered body of St. Parley Pratt (whom God assail!) + there was never anything on this earth like it! I knew who gave the + whistle to the child, but I could, not make those jealous mothers believe + me. They believed I did it, and the result was just what any man of + reflection could have foreseen: I had to order a hundred and ten whistles—I + think we had a hundred and ten children in the house then, but some of + them are off at college now—I had to order a hundred and ten of + those shrieking things, and I wish I may never speak another word if we + didn't have to talk on our fingers entirely, from that time forth until + the children got tired of the whistles. And if ever another man gives a + whistle to a child of mine and I get my hands on him, I will hang him + higher than Haman! That is the word with the bark on it! Shade of Nephi! + You don't know anything about married life. I am rich, and everybody knows + it. I am benevolent, and everybody takes advantage of it. I have a strong + fatherly instinct and all the foundlings are foisted on me. + </p> + <p> + "Every time a woman wants to do well by her darling, she puzzles her brain + to cipher out some scheme for getting it into my hands. Why, sir, a woman + came here once with a child of a curious lifeless sort of complexion (and + so had the woman), and swore that the child was mine and she my wife—that + I had married her at such-and-such a time in such-and- such a place, but + she had forgotten her number, and of course I could not remember her name. + Well, sir, she called my attention to the fact that the child looked like + me, and really it did seem to resemble me—a common thing in the + Territory—and, to cut the story short, I put it in my nursery, and + she left. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link124" id="link124"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="124.jpg (68K)" src="images/124.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And by the ghost of Orson Hyde, when they came to wash the paint off that + child it was an Injun! Bless my soul, you don't know anything about + married life. It is a perfect dog's life, sir—a perfect dog's life. + You can't economize. It isn't possible. I have tried keeping one set of + bridal attire for all occasions. But it is of no use. First you'll marry a + combination of calico and consumption that's as thin as a rail, and next + you'll get a creature that's nothing more than the dropsy in disguise, and + then you've got to eke out that bridal dress with an old balloon. That is + the way it goes. And think of the wash-bill—(excuse these tears)—nine + hundred and eighty-four pieces a week! No, sir, there is no such a thing + as economy in a family like mine. Why, just the one item of cradles—think + of it! And vermifuge! Soothing syrup! Teething rings! And 'papa's watches' + for the babies to play with! And things to scratch the furniture with! And + lucifer matches for them to eat, and pieces of glass to cut themselves + with! The item of glass alone would support your family, I venture to say, + sir. Let me scrimp and squeeze all I can, I still can't get ahead as fast + as I feel I ought to, with my opportunities. Bless you, sir, at a time + when I had seventy-two wives in this house, I groaned under the pressure + of keeping thousands of dollars tied up in seventy-two bedsteads when the + money ought to have been out at interest; and I just sold out the whole + stock, sir, at a sacrifice, and built a bedstead seven feet long and + ninety-six feet wide. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link126" id="link126"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="126.jpg (99K)" src="images/126.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But it was a failure, sir. I could not sleep. It appeared to me that the + whole seventy-two women snored at once. The roar was deafening. And then + the danger of it! That was what I was looking at. They would all draw in + their breath at once, and you could actually see the walls of the house + suck in—and then they would all exhale their breath at once, and you + could see the walls swell out, and strain, and hear the rafters crack, and + the shingles grind together. My friend, take an old man's advice, and + don't encumber yourself with a large family—mind, I tell you, don't + do it. In a small family, and in a small family only, you will find that + comfort and that peace of mind which are the best at last of the blessings + this world is able to afford us, and for the lack of which no accumulation + of wealth, and no acquisition of fame, power, and greatness can ever + compensate us. Take my word for it, ten or eleven wives is all you need—never + go over it." + </p> + <p> + Some instinct or other made me set this Johnson down as being unreliable. + And yet he was a very entertaining person, and I doubt if some of the + information he gave us could have been acquired from any other source. He + was a pleasant contrast to those reticent Mormons. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch16" id="linkch16"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have + seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy + from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious + affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. + It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was + a miracle—keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate. If he, + according to tradition, merely translated it from certain ancient and + mysteriously-engraved plates of copper, which he declares he found under a + stone, in an out-of-the-way locality, the work of translating was equally + a miracle, for the same reason. + </p> + <p> + The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with the + Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the New + Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases the quaint, + old-fashioned sound and structure of our King James's translation of the + Scriptures; and the result is a mongrel—half modern glibness, and + half ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is awkward and + constrained; the former natural, but grotesque by the contrast. Whenever + he found his speech growing too modern—which was about every + sentence or two—he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as + "exceeding sore," "and it came to pass," etc., and made things + satisfactory again. "And it came to pass" was his pet. If he had left that + out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet. + </p> + <p> + The title-page reads as follows: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + THE BOOK OF MORMON: AN ACCOUNT WRITTEN BY THE HAND OF MORMON, UPON + PLATES TAKEN FROM THE PLATES OF NEPHI. + </p> + <p> + Wherefore it is an abridgment of the record of the people of Nephi, and + also of the Lamanites; written to the Lamanites, who are a remnant of + the House of Israel; and also to Jew and Gentile; written by way of + commandment, and also by the spirit of prophecy and of revelation. + Written and sealed up, and hid up unto the Lord, that they might not be + destroyed; to come forth by the gift and power of God unto the + interpretation thereof; sealed by the hand of Moroni, and hid up unto + the Lord, to come forth in due time by the way of Gentile; the + interpretation thereof by the gift of God. An abridgment taken from the + Book of Ether also; which is a record of the people of Jared; who were + scattered at the time the Lord confounded the language of the people + when they were building a tower to get to Heaven. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + "Hid up" is good. And so is "wherefore"—though why "wherefore"? Any + other word would have answered as well—though—in truth it + would not have sounded so Scriptural. + </p> + <p> + Next comes: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + THE TESTIMONY OF THREE WITNESSES. Be it known unto all nations, + kindreds, tongues, and people unto whom this work shall come, that we, + through the grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, have + seen the plates which contain this record, which is a record of the + people of Nephi, and also of the Lamanites, their brethren, and also of + the people of Jared, who came from the tower of which hath been spoken; + and we also know that they have been translated by the gift and power of + God, for His voice hath declared it unto us; wherefore we know of a + surety that the work is true. And we also testify that we have seen the + engravings which are upon the plates; and they have been shown unto us + by the power of God, and not of man. And we declare with words of + soberness, that an angel of God came down from heaven, and he brought + and laid before our eyes, that we beheld and saw the plates, and the + engravings thereon; and we know that it is by the grace of God the + Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, that we beheld and bear record that + these things are true; and it is marvellous in our eyes; nevertheless + the voice of the Lord commanded us that we should bear record of it; + wherefore, to be obedient unto the commandments of God, we bear + testimony of these things. And we know that if we are faithful in + Christ, we shall rid our garments of the blood of all men, and be found + spotless before the judgment-seat of Christ, and shall dwell with Him + eternally in the heavens. And the honor be to the Father, and to the + Son, and to the Holy Ghost, which is one God. Amen. OLIVER COWDERY, + DAVID WHITMER, MARTIN HARRIS. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Some people have to have a world of evidence before they can come anywhere + in the neighborhood of believing anything; but for me, when a man tells me + that he has "seen the engravings which are upon the plates," and not only + that, but an angel was there at the time, and saw him see them, and + probably took his receipt for it, I am very far on the road to conviction, + no matter whether I ever heard of that man before or not, and even if I do + not know the name of the angel, or his nationality either. + </p> + <p> + Next is this: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + AND ALSO THE TESTIMONY OF EIGHT WITNESSES. Be it known unto all nations, + kindreds, tongues, and people unto whom this work shall come, that + Joseph Smith, Jr., the translator of this work, has shown unto us the + plates of which hath been spoken, which have the appearance of gold; and + as many of the leaves as the said Smith has translated, we did handle + with our hands; and we also saw the engravings thereon, all of which has + the appearance of ancient work, and of curious workmanship. And this we + bear record with words of soberness, that the said Smith has shown unto + us, for we have seen and hefted, and know of a surety that the said + Smith has got the plates of which we have spoken. And we give our names + unto the world, to witness unto the world that which we have seen; and + we lie not, God bearing witness of it. CHRISTIAN WHITMER, JACOB WHITMER, + PETER WHITMER, JR., JOHN WHITMER, HIRAM PAGE, JOSEPH SMITH, SR., HYRUM + SMITH, SAMUEL H. SMITH. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + And when I am far on the road to conviction, and eight men, be they + grammatical or otherwise, come forward and tell me that they have seen the + plates too; and not only seen those plates but "hefted" them, I am + convinced. I could not feel more satisfied and at rest if the entire + Whitmer family had testified. + </p> + <p> + The Mormon Bible consists of fifteen "books"—being the books of + Jacob, Enos, Jarom, Omni, Mosiah, Zeniff, Alma, Helaman, Ether, Moroni, + two "books" of Mormon, and three of Nephi. + </p> + <p> + In the first book of Nephi is a plagiarism of the Old Testament, which + gives an account of the exodus from Jerusalem of the "children of Lehi"; + and it goes on to tell of their wanderings in the wilderness, during eight + years, and their supernatural protection by one of their number, a party + by the name of Nephi. They finally reached the land of "Bountiful," and + camped by the sea. After they had remained there "for the space of many + days"—which is more Scriptural than definite—Nephi was + commanded from on high to build a ship wherein to "carry the people across + the waters." He travestied Noah's ark—but he obeyed orders in the + matter of the plan. He finished the ship in a single day, while his + brethren stood by and made fun of it—and of him, too—"saying, + our brother is a fool, for he thinketh that he can build a ship." They did + not wait for the timbers to dry, but the whole tribe or nation sailed the + next day. Then a bit of genuine nature cropped out, and is revealed by + outspoken Nephi with Scriptural frankness—they all got on a spree! + They, "and also their wives, began to make themselves merry, insomuch that + they began to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much rudeness; yea, + they were lifted up unto exceeding rudeness." + </p> + <p> + Nephi tried to stop these scandalous proceedings; but they tied him neck + and heels, and went on with their lark. But observe how Nephi the prophet + circumvented them by the aid of the invisible powers: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + And it came to pass that after they had bound me, insomuch that I could + not move, the compass, which had been prepared of the Lord, did cease to + work; wherefore, they knew not whither they should steer the ship, + insomuch that there arose a great storm, yea, a great and terrible + tempest, and we were driven back upon the waters for the space of three + days; and they began to be frightened exceedingly, lest they should be + drowned in the sea; nevertheless they did not loose me. And on the + fourth day, which we had been driven back, the tempest began to be + exceeding sore. And it came to pass that we were about to be swallowed + up in the depths of the sea. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Then they untied him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link131" id="link131"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="131.jpg (77K)" src="images/131.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + And it came to pass after they had loosed me, behold, I took the + compass, and it did work whither I desired it. And it came to pass that + I prayed unto the Lord; and after I had prayed, the winds did cease, and + the storm did cease, and there was a great calm. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Equipped with their compass, these ancients appear to have had the + advantage of Noah. + </p> + <p> + Their voyage was toward a "promised land"—the only name they give + it. They reached it in safety. + </p> + <p> + Polygamy is a recent feature in the Mormon religion, and was added by + Brigham Young after Joseph Smith's death. Before that, it was regarded as + an "abomination." This verse from the Mormon Bible occurs in Chapter II. + of the book of Jacob: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + For behold, thus saith the Lord, this people begin to wax in iniquity; + they understand not the Scriptures; for they seek to excuse themselves + in committing whoredoms, because of the things which were written + concerning David, and Solomon his son. Behold, David and Solomon truly + had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, + saith the Lord; wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people + forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I + might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of + Joseph. Wherefore, I the Lord God, will no suffer that this people shall + do like unto them of old. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + However, the project failed—or at least the modern Mormon end of it—for + Brigham "suffers" it. This verse is from the same chapter: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + Behold, the Lamanites your brethren, whom ye hate, because of their + filthiness and the cursings which hath come upon their skins, are more + righteous than you; for they have not forgotten the commandment of the + Lord, which was given unto our fathers, that they should have, save it + were one wife; and concubines they should have none. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + The following verse (from Chapter IX. of the Book of Nephi) appears to + contain information not familiar to everybody: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + And now it came to pass that when Jesus had ascended into heaven, the + multitude did disperse, and every man did take his wife and his + children, and did return to his own home. + </p> + <p> + And it came to pass that on the morrow, when the multitude was gathered + together, behold, Nephi and his brother whom he had raised from the + dead, whose name was Timothy, and also his son, whose name was Jonas, + and also Mathoni, and Mathonihah, his brother, and Kumen, and Kumenenhi, + and Jeremiah, and Shemnon, and Jonas, and Zedekiah, and Isaiah; now + these were the names of the disciples whom Jesus had chosen. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + In order that the reader may observe how much more grandeur and + picturesqueness (as seen by these Mormon twelve) accompanied on of the + tenderest episodes in the life of our Saviour than other eyes seem to have + been aware of, I quote the following from the same "book"—Nephi: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + And it came to pass that Jesus spake unto them, and bade them arise. And + they arose from the earth, and He said unto them, Blessed are ye because + of your faith. And now behold, My joy is full. And when He had said + these words, He wept, and the multitude bear record of it, and He took + their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the + Father for them. And when He had done this He wept again, and He spake + unto the multitude, and saith unto them, Behold your little ones. And as + they looked to behold, they cast their eyes toward heaven, and they saw + the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it + were, in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those + little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the + angels did minister unto them, and the multitude did see and hear and + bear record; and they know that their record is true, for they all of + them did see and hear, every man for himself; and they were in number + about two thousand and five hundred souls; and they did consist of men, + women, and children. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + And what else would they be likely to consist of? + </p> + <p> + The Book of Ether is an incomprehensible medley of if "history," much of + it relating to battles and sieges among peoples whom the reader has + possibly never heard of; and who inhabited a country which is not set down + in the geography. These was a King with the remarkable name of + Coriantumr,^^ and he warred with Shared, and Lib, and Shiz, and others, in + the "plains of Heshlon"; and the "valley of Gilgal"; and the "wilderness + of Akish"; and the "land of Moran"; and the "plains of Agosh"; and + "Ogath," and "Ramah," and the "land of Corihor," and the "hill Comnor," by + "the waters of Ripliancum," etc., etc., etc. "And it came to pass," after + a deal of fighting, that Coriantumr, upon making calculation of his + losses, found that "there had been slain two millions of mighty men, and + also their wives and their children"—say 5,000,000 or 6,000,000 in + all—"and he began to sorrow in his heart." Unquestionably it was + time. So he wrote to Shiz, asking a cessation of hostilities, and offering + to give up his kingdom to save his people. Shiz declined, except upon + condition that Coriantumr would come and let him cut his head off first—a + thing which Coriantumr would not do. Then there was more fighting for a + season; then four years were devoted to gathering the forces for a final + struggle—after which ensued a battle, which, I take it, is the most + remarkable set forth in history,—except, perhaps, that of the + Kilkenny cats, which it resembles in some respects. This is the account of + the gathering and the battle: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + 7. And it came to pass that they did gather together all the people, + upon all the face of the land, who had not been slain, save it was + Ether. And it came to pass that Ether did behold all the doings of the + people; and he beheld that the people who were for Coriantumr, were + gathered together to the army of Coriantumr; and the people who were for + Shiz, were gathered together to the army of Shiz; wherefore they were + for the space of four years gathering together the people, that they + might get all who were upon the face of the land, and that they might + receive all the strength which it was possible that they could receive. + And it came to pass that when they were all gathered together, every one + to the army which he would, with their wives and their children; both + men, women, and children being armed with weapons of war, having + shields, and breast-plates, and head-plates, and being clothed after the + manner of war, they did march forth one against another, to battle; and + they fought all that day, and conquered not. And it came to pass that + when it was night they were weary, and retired to their camps; and after + they had retired to their camps, they took up a howling and a + lamentation for the loss of the slain of their people; and so great were + their cries, their howlings and lamentations, that it did rend the air + exceedingly. And it came to pass that on the morrow they did go again to + battle, and great and terrible was that day; nevertheless they conquered + not, and when the night came again, they did rend the air with their + cries, and their howlings, and their mournings, for the loss of the + slain of their people. + </p> + <p> + 8. And it came to pass that Coriantumr wrote again an epistle unto Shiz, + desiring that he would not come again to battle, but that he would take + the kingdom, and spare the lives of the people. But behold, the Spirit + of the Lord had ceased striving with them, and Satan had full power over + the hearts of the people, for they were given up unto the hardness of + their hearts, and the blindness of their minds that they might be + destroyed; wherefore they went again to battle. And it came to pass that + they fought all that day, and when the night came they slept upon their + swords; and on the morrow they fought even until the night came; and + when the night came they were drunken with anger, even as a man who is + drunken with wine; and they slept again upon their swords; and on the + morrow they fought again; and when the night came they had all fallen by + the sword save it were fifty and two of the people of Coriantumr, and + sixty and nine of the people of Shiz. And it came to pass that they + slept upon their swords that night, and on the morrow they fought again, + and they contended in their mights with their swords, and with their + shields, all that day; and when the night came there were thirty and two + of the people of Shiz, and twenty and seven of the people of Coriantumr. + </p> + <p> + 9. And it came to pass that they ate and slept, and prepared for death + on the morrow. And they were large and mighty men, as to the strength of + men. And it came to pass that they fought for the space of three hours, + and they fainted with the loss of blood. And it came to pass that when + the men of Coriantumr had received sufficient strength, that they could + walk, they were about to flee for their lives, but behold, Shiz arose, + and also his men, and he swore in his wrath that he would slay + Coriantumr, or he would perish by the sword: wherefore he did pursue + them, and on the morrow he did overtake them; and they fought again with + the sword. And it came to pass that when they had all fallen by the + sword, save it were Coriantumr and Shiz, behold Shiz had fainted with + loss of blood. And it came to pass that when Coriantumr had leaned upon + his sword, that he rested a little, he smote off the head of Shiz. And + it came to pass that after he had smote off the head of Shiz, that Shiz + raised upon his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for + breath, he died. And it came to pass that Coriantumr fell to the earth, + and became as if he had no life. And the Lord spake unto Ether, and said + unto him, go forth. And he went forth, and beheld that the words of the + Lord had all been fulfilled; and he finished his record; and the + hundredth part I have not written. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It seems a pity he did not finish, for after all his dreary former + chapters of commonplace, he stopped just as he was in danger of becoming + interesting. + </p> + <p> + The Mormon Bible is rather stupid and tiresome to read, but there is + nothing vicious in its teachings. Its code of morals is unobjectionable- + -it is "smouched" [Milton] from the New Testament and no credit given. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch17" id="linkch17"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + At the end of our two days' sojourn, we left Great Salt Lake City hearty + and well fed and happy—physically superb but not so very much wiser, + as regards the "Mormon question," than we were when we arrived, perhaps. + We had a deal more "information" than we had before, of course, but we did + not know what portion of it was reliable and what was not—for it all + came from acquaintances of a day—strangers, strictly speaking. We + were told, for instance, that the dreadful "Mountain Meadows Massacre" was + the work of the Indians entirely, and that the Gentiles had meanly tried + to fasten it upon the Mormons; we were told, likewise, that the Indians + were to blame, partly, and partly the Mormons; and we were told, likewise, + and just as positively, that the Mormons were almost if not wholly and + completely responsible for that most treacherous and pitiless butchery. We + got the story in all these different shapes, but it was not till several + years afterward that Mrs. Waite's book, "The Mormon Prophet," came out + with Judge Cradlebaugh's trial of the accused parties in it and revealed + the truth that the latter version was the correct one and that the Mormons + were the assassins. All our "information" had three sides to it, and so I + gave up the idea that I could settle the "Mormon question" in two days. + Still I have seen newspaper correspondents do it in one. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link137" id="link137"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="137.jpg (62K)" src="images/137.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I left Great Salt Lake a good deal confused as to what state of things + existed there—and sometimes even questioning in my own mind whether + a state of things existed there at all or not. But presently I remembered + with a lightening sense of relief that we had learned two or three trivial + things there which we could be certain of; and so the two days were not + wholly lost. For instance, we had learned that we were at last in a + pioneer land, in absolute and tangible reality. + </p> + <p> + The high prices charged for trifles were eloquent of high freights and + bewildering distances of freightage. In the east, in those days, the + smallest moneyed denomination was a penny and it represented the smallest + purchasable quantity of any commodity. West of Cincinnati the smallest + coin in use was the silver five-cent piece and no smaller quantity of an + article could be bought than "five cents' worth." In Overland City the + lowest coin appeared to be the ten-cent piece; but in Salt Lake there did + not seem to be any money in circulation smaller than a quarter, or any + smaller quantity purchasable of any commodity than twenty-five cents' + worth. We had always been used to half dimes and "five cents' worth" as + the minimum of financial negotiations; but in Salt Lake if one wanted a + cigar, it was a quarter; if he wanted a chalk pipe, it was a quarter; if + he wanted a peach, or a candle, or a newspaper, or a shave, or a little + Gentile whiskey to rub on his corns to arrest indigestion and keep him + from having the toothache, twenty-five cents was the price, every time. + When we looked at the shot-bag of silver, now and then, we seemed to be + wasting our substance in riotous living, but if we referred to the expense + account we could see that we had not been doing anything of the kind. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link138" id="link138"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="138.jpg (21K)" src="images/138.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But people easily get reconciled to big money and big prices, and fond and + vain of both—it is a descent to little coins and cheap prices that + is hardest to bear and slowest to take hold upon one's toleration. After a + month's acquaintance with the twenty-five cent minimum, the average human + being is ready to blush every time he thinks of his despicable five-cent + days. How sunburnt with blushes I used to get in gaudy Nevada, every time + I thought of my first financial experience in Salt Lake. It was on this + wise (which is a favorite expression of great authors, and a very neat + one, too, but I never hear anybody say on this wise when they are + talking). A young half-breed with a complexion like a yellow-jacket asked + me if I would have my boots blacked. It was at the Salt Lake House the + morning after we arrived. I said yes, and he blacked them. Then I handed + him a silver five-cent piece, with the benevolent air of a person who is + conferring wealth and blessedness upon poverty and suffering. The + yellow-jacket took it with what I judged to be suppressed emotion, and + laid it reverently down in the middle of his broad hand. Then he began to + contemplate it, much as a philosopher contemplates a gnat's ear in the + ample field of his microscope. Several mountaineers, teamsters, stage- + drivers, etc., drew near and dropped into the tableau and fell to + surveying the money with that attractive indifference to formality which + is noticeable in the hardy pioneer. Presently the yellow-jacket handed the + half dime back to me and told me I ought to keep my money in my + pocket-book instead of in my soul, and then I wouldn't get it cramped and + shriveled up so! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link139" id="link139"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="139.jpg (61K)" src="images/139.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + What a roar of vulgar laughter there was! I destroyed the mongrel reptile + on the spot, but I smiled and smiled all the time I was detaching his + scalp, for the remark he made was good for an "Injun." + </p> + <p> + Yes, we had learned in Salt Lake to be charged great prices without + letting the inward shudder appear on the surface—for even already we + had overheard and noted the tenor of conversations among drivers, + conductors, and hostlers, and finally among citizens of Salt Lake, until + we were well aware that these superior beings despised "emigrants." We + permitted no tell-tale shudders and winces in our countenances, for we + wanted to seem pioneers, or Mormons, half-breeds, teamsters, + stage-drivers, Mountain Meadow assassins—anything in the world that + the plains and Utah respected and admired—but we were wretchedly + ashamed of being "emigrants," and sorry enough that we had white shirts + and could not swear in the presence of ladies without looking the other + way. + </p> + <p> + And many a time in Nevada, afterwards, we had occasion to remember with + humiliation that we were "emigrants," and consequently a low and inferior + sort of creatures. Perhaps the reader has visited Utah, Nevada, or + California, even in these latter days, and while communing with himself + upon the sorrowful banishment of these countries from what he considers + "the world," has had his wings clipped by finding that he is the one to be + pitied, and that there are entire populations around him ready and willing + to do it for him—yea, who are complacently doing it for him already, + wherever he steps his foot. + </p> + <p> + Poor thing, they are making fun of his hat; and the cut of his New York + coat; and his conscientiousness about his grammar; and his feeble + profanity; and his consumingly ludicrous ignorance of ores, shafts, + tunnels, and other things which he never saw before, and never felt enough + interest in to read about. And all the time that he is thinking what a sad + fate it is to be exiled to that far country, that lonely land, the + citizens around him are looking down on him with a blighting compassion + because he is an "emigrant" instead of that proudest and blessedest + creature that exists on all the earth, a "FORTY-NINER." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link140" id="link140"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="140.jpg (30K)" src="images/140.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The accustomed coach life began again, now, and by midnight it almost + seemed as if we never had been out of our snuggery among the mail sacks at + all. We had made one alteration, however. We had provided enough bread, + boiled ham and hard boiled eggs to last double the six hundred miles of + staging we had still to do. + </p> + <p> + And it was comfort in those succeeding days to sit up and contemplate the + majestic panorama of mountains and valleys spread out below us and eat ham + and hard boiled eggs while our spiritual natures revelled alternately in + rainbows, thunderstorms, and peerless sunsets. Nothing helps scenery like + ham and eggs. Ham and eggs, and after these a pipe—an old, rank, + delicious pipe—ham and eggs and scenery, a "down grade," a flying + coach, a fragrant pipe and a contented heart—these make happiness. + It is what all the ages have struggled for. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link141" id="link141"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="141.jpg (29K)" src="images/141.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch18" id="linkch18"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + At eight in the morning we reached the remnant and ruin of what had been + the important military station of "Camp Floyd," some forty-five or fifty + miles from Salt Lake City. At four P.M. we had doubled our distance and + were ninety or a hundred miles from Salt Lake. And now we entered upon one + of that species of deserts whose concentrated hideousness shames the + diffused and diluted horrors of Sahara—an "alkali" desert. For + sixty- eight miles there was but one break in it. I do not remember that + this was really a break; indeed it seems to me that it was nothing but a + watering depot in the midst of the stretch of sixty-eight miles. If my + memory serves me, there was no well or spring at this place, but the water + was hauled there by mule and ox teams from the further side of the desert. + There was a stage station there. It was forty-five miles from the + beginning of the desert, and twenty-three from the end of it. + </p> + <p> + We plowed and dragged and groped along, the whole live-long night, and at + the end of this uncomfortable twelve hours we finished the forty-five- + mile part of the desert and got to the stage station where the imported + water was. The sun was just rising. It was easy enough to cross a desert + in the night while we were asleep; and it was pleasant to reflect, in the + morning, that we in actual person had encountered an absolute desert and + could always speak knowingly of deserts in presence of the ignorant + thenceforward. And it was pleasant also to reflect that this was not an + obscure, back country desert, but a very celebrated one, the metropolis + itself, as you may say. All this was very well and very comfortable and + satisfactory—but now we were to cross a desert in daylight. This was + fine—novel—romantic—dramatically adventurous—this, + indeed, was worth living for, worth traveling for! We would write home all + about it. + </p> + <p> + This enthusiasm, this stern thirst for adventure, wilted under the sultry + August sun and did not last above one hour. One poor little hour—and + then we were ashamed that we had "gushed" so. The poetry was all in the + anticipation—there is none in the reality. Imagine a vast, waveless + ocean stricken dead and turned to ashes; imagine this solemn waste tufted + with ash-dusted sage-bushes; imagine the lifeless silence and solitude + that belong to such a place; imagine a coach, creeping like a bug through + the midst of this shoreless level, and sending up tumbled volumes of dust + as if it were a bug that went by steam; imagine this aching monotony of + toiling and plowing kept up hour after hour, and the shore still as far + away as ever, apparently; imagine team, driver, coach and passengers so + deeply coated with ashes that they are all one colorless color; imagine + ash-drifts roosting above moustaches and eyebrows like snow accumulations + on boughs and bushes. This is the reality of it. + </p> + <p> + The sun beats down with dead, blistering, relentless malignity; the + perspiration is welling from every pore in man and beast, but scarcely a + sign of it finds its way to the surface—it is absorbed before it + gets there; there is not the faintest breath of air stirring; there is not + a merciful shred of cloud in all the brilliant firmament; there is not a + living creature visible in any direction whither one searches the blank + level that stretches its monotonous miles on every hand; there is not a + sound—not a sigh—not a whisper—not a buzz, or a whir of + wings, or distant pipe of bird—not even a sob from the lost souls + that doubtless people that dead air. And so the occasional sneezing of the + resting mules, and the champing of the bits, grate harshly on the grim + stillness, not dissipating the spell but accenting it and making one feel + more lonesome and forsaken than before. + </p> + <p> + The mules, under violent swearing, coaxing and whip-cracking, would make + at stated intervals a "spurt," and drag the coach a hundred or may be two + hundred yards, stirring up a billowy cloud of dust that rolled back, + enveloping the vehicle to the wheel-tops or higher, and making it seem + afloat in a fog. Then a rest followed, with the usual sneezing and bit- + champing. Then another "spurt" of a hundred yards and another rest at the + end of it. All day long we kept this up, without water for the mules and + without ever changing the team. At least we kept it up ten hours, which, I + take it, is a day, and a pretty honest one, in an alkali desert. It was + from four in the morning till two in the afternoon. And it was so hot! and + so close! and our water canteens went dry in the middle of the day and we + got so thirsty! It was so stupid and tiresome and dull! and the tedious + hours did lag and drag and limp along with such a cruel deliberation! It + was so trying to give one's watch a good long undisturbed spell and then + take it out and find that it had been fooling away the time and not trying + to get ahead any! The alkali dust cut through our lips, it persecuted our + eyes, it ate through the delicate membranes and made our noses bleed and + kept them bleeding—and truly and seriously the romance all faded far + away and disappeared, and left the desert trip nothing but a harsh reality—a + thirsty, sweltering, longing, hateful reality! + </p> + <p> + Two miles and a quarter an hour for ten hours—that was what we + accomplished. It was hard to bring the comprehension away down to such a + snail-pace as that, when we had been used to making eight and ten miles an + hour. When we reached the station on the farther verge of the desert, we + were glad, for the first time, that the dictionary was along, because we + never could have found language to tell how glad we were, in any sort of + dictionary but an unabridged one with pictures in it. But there could not + have been found in a whole library of dictionaries language sufficient to + tell how tired those mules were after their twenty-three mile pull. To try + to give the reader an idea of how thirsty they were, would be to "gild + refined gold or paint the lily." + </p> + <p> + Somehow, now that it is there, the quotation does not seem to fit—but + no matter, let it stay, anyhow. I think it is a graceful and attractive + thing, and therefore have tried time and time again to work it in where it + would fit, but could not succeed. These efforts have kept my mind + distracted and ill at ease, and made my narrative seem broken and + disjointed, in places. Under these circumstances it seems to me best to + leave it in, as above, since this will afford at least a temporary respite + from the wear and tear of trying to "lead up" to this really apt and + beautiful quotation. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link145" id="link145"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="145.jpg (32K)" src="images/145.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch19" id="linkch19"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + On the morning of the sixteenth day out from St. Joseph we arrived at the + entrance of Rocky Canyon, two hundred and fifty miles from Salt Lake. It + was along in this wild country somewhere, and far from any habitation of + white men, except the stage stations, that we came across the wretchedest + type of mankind I have ever seen, up to this writing. I refer to the + Goshoot Indians. From what we could see and all we could learn, they are + very considerably inferior to even the despised Digger Indians of + California; inferior to all races of savages on our continent; inferior to + even the Terra del Fuegans; inferior to the Hottentots, and actually + inferior in some respects to the Kytches of Africa. Indeed, I have been + obliged to look the bulky volumes of Wood's "Uncivilized Races of Men" + clear through in order to find a savage tribe degraded enough to take rank + with the Goshoots. I find but one people fairly open to that shameful + verdict. It is the Bosjesmans (Bushmen) of South Africa. Such of the + Goshoots as we saw, along the road and hanging about the stations, were + small, lean, "scrawny" creatures; in complexion a dull black like the + ordinary American negro; their faces and hands bearing dirt which they had + been hoarding and accumulating for months, years, and even generations, + according to the age of the proprietor; a silent, sneaking, treacherous + looking race; taking note of everything, covertly, like all the other + "Noble Red Men" that we (do not) read about, and betraying no sign in + their countenances; indolent, everlastingly patient and tireless, like all + other Indians; prideless beggars—for if the beggar instinct were + left out of an Indian he would not "go," any more than a clock without a + pendulum; hungry, always hungry, and yet never refusing anything that a + hog would eat, though often eating what a hog would decline; hunters, but + having no higher ambition than to kill and eat jack-ass rabbits, crickets + and grasshoppers, and embezzle carrion from the buzzards and cayotes; + savages who, when asked if they have the common Indian belief in a Great + Spirit show a something which almost amounts to emotion, thinking whiskey + is referred to; a thin, scattering race of almost naked black children, + these Goshoots are, who produce nothing at all, and have no villages, and + no gatherings together into strictly defined tribal communities—a + people whose only shelter is a rag cast on a bush to keep off a portion of + the snow, and yet who inhabit one of the most rocky, wintry, repulsive + wastes that our country or any other can exhibit. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link147" id="link147"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="147.jpg (86K)" src="images/147.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The Bushmen and our Goshoots are manifestly descended from the self-same + gorilla, or kangaroo, or Norway rat, which-ever animal—Adam the + Darwinians trace them to. + </p> + <p> + One would as soon expect the rabbits to fight as the Goshoots, and yet + they used to live off the offal and refuse of the stations a few months + and then come some dark night when no mischief was expected, and burn down + the buildings and kill the men from ambush as they rushed out. And once, + in the night, they attacked the stage-coach when a District Judge, of + Nevada Territory, was the only passenger, and with their first volley of + arrows (and a bullet or two) they riddled the stage curtains, wounded a + horse or two and mortally wounded the driver. The latter was full of + pluck, and so was his passenger. At the driver's call Judge Mott swung + himself out, clambered to the box and seized the reins of the team, and + away they plunged, through the racing mob of skeletons and under a + hurtling storm of missiles. The stricken driver had sunk down on the boot + as soon as he was wounded, but had held on to the reins and said he would + manage to keep hold of them until relieved. + </p> + <p> + And after they were taken from his relaxing grasp, he lay with his head + between Judge Mott's feet, and tranquilly gave directions about the road; + he said he believed he could live till the miscreants were outrun and left + behind, and that if he managed that, the main difficulty would be at an + end, and then if the Judge drove so and so (giving directions about bad + places in the road, and general course) he would reach the next station + without trouble. The Judge distanced the enemy and at last rattled up to + the station and knew that the night's perils were done; but there was no + comrade-in-arms for him to rejoice with, for the soldierly driver was + dead. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link148" id="link148"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="148.jpg (43K)" src="images/148.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Let us forget that we have been saying harsh things about the Overland + drivers, now. The disgust which the Goshoots gave me, a disciple of Cooper + and a worshipper of the Red Man—even of the scholarly savages in the + "Last of the Mohicans" who are fittingly associated with backwoodsmen who + divide each sentence into two equal parts: one part critically + grammatical, refined and choice of language, and the other part just such + an attempt to talk like a hunter or a mountaineer, as a Broadway clerk + might make after eating an edition of Emerson Bennett's works and studying + frontier life at the Bowery Theatre a couple of weeks—I say that the + nausea which the Goshoots gave me, an Indian worshipper, set me to + examining authorities, to see if perchance I had been over-estimating the + Red Man while viewing him through the mellow moonshine of romance. The + revelations that came were disenchanting. It was curious to see how + quickly the paint and tinsel fell away from him and left him treacherous, + filthy and repulsive—and how quickly the evidences accumulated that + wherever one finds an Indian tribe he has only found Goshoots more or less + modified by circumstances and surroundings—but Goshoots, after all. + They deserve pity, poor creatures; and they can have mine—at this + distance. Nearer by, they never get anybody's. + </p> + <p> + There is an impression abroad that the Baltimore and Washington Railroad + Company and many of its employees are Goshoots; but it is an error. There + is only a plausible resemblance, which, while it is apt enough to mislead + the ignorant, cannot deceive parties who have contemplated both tribes. + But seriously, it was not only poor wit, but very wrong to start the + report referred to above; for however innocent the motive may have been, + the necessary effect was to injure the reputation of a class who have a + hard enough time of it in the pitiless deserts of the Rocky Mountains, + Heaven knows! If we cannot find it in our hearts to give those poor naked + creatures our Christian sympathy and compassion, in God's name let us at + least not throw mud at them. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch20" id="linkch20"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + On the seventeenth day we passed the highest mountain peaks we had yet + seen, and although the day was very warm the night that followed upon its + heels was wintry cold and blankets were next to useless. + </p> + <p> + On the eighteenth day we encountered the eastward-bound telegraph- + constructors at Reese River station and sent a message to his Excellency + Gov. Nye at Carson City (distant one hundred and fifty-six miles). + </p> + <p> + On the nineteenth day we crossed the Great American Desert—forty + memorable miles of bottomless sand, into which the coach wheels sunk from + six inches to a foot. We worked our passage most of the way across. That + is to say, we got out and walked. It was a dreary pull and a long and + thirsty one, for we had no water. From one extremity of this desert to the + other, the road was white with the bones of oxen and horses. It would + hardly be an exaggeration to say that we could have walked the forty miles + and set our feet on a bone at every step! The desert was one prodigious + graveyard. And the log-chains, wagon tyres, and rotting wrecks of vehicles + were almost as thick as the bones. I think we saw log-chains enough + rusting there in the desert, to reach across any State in the Union. Do + not these relics suggest something of an idea of the fearful suffering and + privation the early emigrants to California endured? + </p> + <p> + At the border of the Desert lies Carson Lake, or The "Sink" of the Carson, + a shallow, melancholy sheet of water some eighty or a hundred miles in + circumference. Carson River empties into it and is lost—sinks + mysteriously into the earth and never appears in the light of the sun + again—for the lake has no outlet whatever. + </p> + <p> + There are several rivers in Nevada, and they all have this mysterious + fate. They end in various lakes or "sinks," and that is the last of them. + Carson Lake, Humboldt Lake, Walker Lake, Mono Lake, are all great sheets + of water without any visible outlet. Water is always flowing into them; + none is ever seen to flow out of them, and yet they remain always level + full, neither receding nor overflowing. What they do with their surplus is + only known to the Creator. + </p> + <p> + On the western verge of the Desert we halted a moment at Ragtown. It + consisted of one log house and is not set down on the map. + </p> + <p> + This reminds me of a circumstance. Just after we left Julesburg, on the + Platte, I was sitting with the driver, and he said: + </p> + <p> + "I can tell you a most laughable thing indeed, if you would like to listen + to it. Horace Greeley went over this road once. When he was leaving Carson + City he told the driver, Hank Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture + at Placerville and was very anxious to go through quick. Hank Monk cracked + his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach bounced up and down + in such a terrific way that it jolted the buttons all off of Horace's + coat, and finally shot his head clean through the roof of the stage, and + then he yelled at Hank Monk and begged him to go easier—said he + warn't in as much of a hurry as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said, + 'Keep your seat, Horace, and I'll get you there on time'—and you bet + you he did, too, what was left of him!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link151" id="link151"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="151.jpg (54K)" src="images/151.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + A day or two after that we picked up a Denver man at the cross roads, and + he told us a good deal about the country and the Gregory Diggings. He + seemed a very entertaining person and a man well posted in the affairs of + Colorado. By and by he remarked: + </p> + <p> + "I can tell you a most laughable thing indeed, if you would like to listen + to it. Horace Greeley went over this road once. When he was leaving Carson + City he told the driver, Hank Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture + at Placerville and was very anxious to go through quick. Hank Monk cracked + his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach bounced up and down + in such a terrific way that it jolted the buttons all off of Horace's + coat, and finally shot his head clean through the roof of the stage, and + then he yelled at Hank Monk and begged him to go easier—said he + warn't in as much of a hurry as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said, + 'Keep your seat, Horace, and I'll get you there on time!'—and you + bet you he did, too, what was left of him!" + </p> + <p> + At Fort Bridger, some days after this, we took on board a cavalry + sergeant, a very proper and soldierly person indeed. From no other man + during the whole journey, did we gather such a store of concise and well- + arranged military information. It was surprising to find in the desolate + wilds of our country a man so thoroughly acquainted with everything useful + to know in his line of life, and yet of such inferior rank and + unpretentious bearing. For as much as three hours we listened to him with + unabated interest. Finally he got upon the subject of trans- continental + travel, and presently said: + </p> + <p> + "I can tell you a very laughable thing indeed, if you would like to listen + to it. Horace Greeley went over this road once. When he was leaving Carson + City he told the driver, Hank Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture + at Placerville and was very anxious to go through quick. Hank Monk cracked + his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach bounced up and down + in such a terrific way that it jolted the buttons all off of Horace's + coat, and finally shot his head clean through the roof of the stage, and + then he yelled at Hank Monk and begged him to go easier—said he + warn't in as much of a hurry as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said, + 'Keep your seat, Horace, and I'll get you there on time!'—and you + bet you he did, too, what was left of him!" + </p> + <p> + When we were eight hours out from Salt Lake City a Mormon preacher got in + with us at a way station—a gentle, soft-spoken, kindly man, and one + whom any stranger would warm to at first sight. I can never forget the + pathos that was in his voice as he told, in simple language, the story of + his people's wanderings and unpitied sufferings. No pulpit eloquence was + ever so moving and so beautiful as this outcast's picture of the first + Mormon pilgrimage across the plains, struggling sorrowfully onward to the + land of its banishment and marking its desolate way with graves and + watering it with tears. His words so wrought upon us that it was a relief + to us all when the conversation drifted into a more cheerful channel and + the natural features of the curious country we were in came under + treatment. One matter after another was pleasantly discussed, and at + length the stranger said: + </p> + <p> + "I can tell you a most laughable thing indeed, if you would like to listen + to it. Horace Greeley went over this road once. When he was leaving Carson + City he told the driver, Hank Monk, that he had an engagement to lecture + in Placerville, and was very anxious to go through quick. Hank Monk + cracked his whip and started off at an awful pace. The coach bounced up + and down in such a terrific way that it jolted the buttons all off of + Horace's coat, and finally shot his head clean through the roof of the + stage, and then he yelled at Hank Monk and begged him to go easier—said + he warn't in as much of a hurry as he was awhile ago. But Hank Monk said, + 'Keep your seat, Horace, and I'll get you there on time!'—and you + bet you bet you he did, too, what was left of him!" + </p> + <p> + Ten miles out of Ragtown we found a poor wanderer who had lain down to + die. He had walked as long as he could, but his limbs had failed him at + last. Hunger and fatigue had conquered him. It would have been inhuman to + leave him there. We paid his fare to Carson and lifted him into the coach. + It was some little time before he showed any very decided signs of life; + but by dint of chafing him and pouring brandy between his lips we finally + brought him to a languid consciousness. Then we fed him a little, and by + and by he seemed to comprehend the situation and a grateful light softened + his eye. We made his mail-sack bed as comfortable as possible, and + constructed a pillow for him with our coats. He seemed very thankful. Then + he looked up in our faces, and said in a feeble voice that had a tremble + of honest emotion in it: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, I know not who you are, but you have saved my life; and + although I can never be able to repay you for it, I feel that I can at + least make one hour of your long journey lighter. I take it you are + strangers to this great thorough fare, but I am entirely familiar with it. + In this connection I can tell you a most laughable thing indeed, if you + would like to listen to it. Horace Greeley——" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link154" id="link154"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="154.jpg (51K)" src="images/154.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I said, impressively: + </p> + <p> + "Suffering stranger, proceed at your peril. You see in me the melancholy + wreck of a once stalwart and magnificent manhood. What has brought me to + this? That thing which you are about to tell. Gradually but surely, that + tiresome old anecdote has sapped my strength, undermined my constitution, + withered my life. Pity my helplessness. Spare me only just this once, and + tell me about young George Washington and his little hatchet for a + change." + </p> + <p> + We were saved. But not so the invalid. In trying to retain the anecdote in + his system he strained himself and died in our arms. + </p> + <p> + I am aware, now, that I ought not to have asked of the sturdiest citizen + of all that region, what I asked of that mere shadow of a man; for, after + seven years' residence on the Pacific coast, I know that no passenger or + driver on the Overland ever corked that anecdote in, when a stranger was + by, and survived. Within a period of six years I crossed and recrossed the + Sierras between Nevada and California thirteen times by stage and listened + to that deathless incident four hundred and eighty-one or eighty-two + times. I have the list somewhere. Drivers always told it, conductors told + it, landlords told it, chance passengers told it, the very Chinamen and + vagrant Indians recounted it. I have had the same driver tell it to me two + or three times in the same afternoon. It has come to me in all the + multitude of tongues that Babel bequeathed to earth, and flavored with + whiskey, brandy, beer, cologne, sozodont, tobacco, garlic, onions, + grasshoppers—everything that has a fragrance to it through all the + long list of things that are gorged or guzzled by the sons of men. I never + have smelt any anecdote as often as I have smelt that one; never have + smelt any anecdote that smelt so variegated as that one. And you never + could learn to know it by its smell, because every time you thought you + had learned the smell of it, it would turn up with a different smell. + Bayard Taylor has written about this hoary anecdote, Richardson has + published it; so have Jones, Smith, Johnson, Ross Browne, and every other + correspondence-inditing being that ever set his foot upon the great + overland road anywhere between Julesburg and San Francisco; and I have + heard that it is in the Talmud. I have seen it in print in nine different + foreign languages; I have been told that it is employed in the inquisition + in Rome; and I now learn with regret that it is going to be set to music. + I do not think that such things are right. + </p> + <p> + Stage-coaching on the Overland is no more, and stage drivers are a race + defunct. I wonder if they bequeathed that bald-headed anecdote to their + successors, the railroad brakemen and conductors, and if these latter + still persecute the helpless passenger with it until he concludes, as did + many a tourist of other days, that the real grandeurs of the Pacific coast + are not Yo Semite and the Big Trees, but Hank Monk and his adventure with + Horace Greeley. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + [And what makes that worn anecdote the more aggravating, is, that the + adventure it celebrates never occurred. If it were a good anecdote, that + seeming demerit would be its chiefest virtue, for creative power belongs + to greatness; but what ought to be done to a man who would wantonly + contrive so flat a one as this? If I were to suggest what ought to be + done to him, I should be called extravagant—but what does the + sixteenth chapter of Daniel say? Aha!] + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link156" id="link156"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="156.jpg (17K)" src="images/156.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch21" id="linkch21"></a> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We were approaching the end of our long journey. It was the morning of the + twentieth day. At noon we would reach Carson City, the capital of Nevada + Territory. We were not glad, but sorry. It had been a fine pleasure trip; + we had fed fat on wonders every day; we were now well accustomed to stage + life, and very fond of it; so the idea of coming to a stand-still and + settling down to a humdrum existence in a village was not agreeable, but + on the contrary depressing. + </p> + <p> + Visibly our new home was a desert, walled in by barren, snow-clad + mountains. There was not a tree in sight. There was no vegetation but the + endless sage-brush and greasewood. All nature was gray with it. We were + plowing through great deeps of powdery alkali dust that rose in thick + clouds and floated across the plain like smoke from a burning house. + </p> + <p> + We were coated with it like millers; so were the coach, the mules, the + mail-bags, the driver—we and the sage-brush and the other scenery + were all one monotonous color. Long trains of freight wagons in the + distance envelope in ascending masses of dust suggested pictures of + prairies on fire. These teams and their masters were the only life we saw. + Otherwise we moved in the midst of solitude, silence and desolation. Every + twenty steps we passed the skeleton of some dead beast of burthen, with + its dust-coated skin stretched tightly over its empty ribs. Frequently a + solemn raven sat upon the skull or the hips and contemplated the passing + coach with meditative serenity. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link158" id="link158"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="158.jpg (17K)" src="images/158.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + By and by Carson City was pointed out to us. It nestled in the edge of a + great plain and was a sufficient number of miles away to look like an + assemblage of mere white spots in the shadow of a grim range of mountains + overlooking it, whose summits seemed lifted clear out of companionship and + consciousness of earthly things. + </p> + <p> + We arrived, disembarked, and the stage went on. It was a "wooden" town; + its population two thousand souls. The main street consisted of four or + five blocks of little white frame stores which were too high to sit down + on, but not too high for various other purposes; in fact, hardly high + enough. They were packed close together, side by side, as if room were + scarce in that mighty plain. + </p> + <p> + The sidewalk was of boards that were more or less loose and inclined to + rattle when walked upon. In the middle of the town, opposite the stores, + was the "plaza" which is native to all towns beyond the Rocky Mountains—a + large, unfenced, level vacancy, with a liberty pole in it, and very useful + as a place for public auctions, horse trades, and mass meetings, and + likewise for teamsters to camp in. Two other sides of the plaza were faced + by stores, offices and stables. + </p> + <p> + The rest of Carson City was pretty scattering. + </p> + <p> + We were introduced to several citizens, at the stage-office and on the way + up to the Governor's from the hotel—among others, to a Mr. Harris, + who was on horseback; he began to say something, but interrupted himself + with the remark: + </p> + <p> + "I'll have to get you to excuse me a minute; yonder is the witness that + swore I helped to rob the California coach—a piece of impertinent + intermeddling, sir, for I am not even acquainted with the man." + </p> + <p> + Then he rode over and began to rebuke the stranger with a six-shooter, and + the stranger began to explain with another. When the pistols were emptied, + the stranger resumed his work (mending a whip-lash), and Mr. Harris rode + by with a polite nod, homeward bound, with a bullet through one of his + lungs, and several in his hips; and from them issued little rivulets of + blood that coursed down the horse's sides and made the animal look quite + picturesque. I never saw Harris shoot a man after that but it recalled to + mind that first day in Carson. + </p> + <p> + This was all we saw that day, for it was two o'clock, now, and according + to custom the daily "Washoe Zephyr" set in; a soaring dust-drift about the + size of the United States set up edgewise came with it, and the capital of + Nevada Territory disappeared from view. + </p> + <p> + Still, there were sights to be seen which were not wholly uninteresting to + new comers; for the vast dust cloud was thickly freckled with things + strange to the upper air—things living and dead, that flitted hither + and thither, going and coming, appearing and disappearing among the + rolling billows of dust—hats, chickens and parasols sailing in the + remote heavens; blankets, tin signs, sage-brush and shingles a shade + lower; door-mats and buffalo robes lower still; shovels and coal scuttles + on the next grade; glass doors, cats and little children on the next; + disrupted lumber yards, light buggies and wheelbarrows on the next; and + down only thirty or forty feet above ground was a scurrying storm of + emigrating roofs and vacant lots. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link159" id="link159"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="159.jpg (92K)" src="images/159.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It was something to see that much. I could have seen more, if I could have + kept the dust out of my eyes. + </p> + <p> + But seriously a Washoe wind is by no means a trifling matter. It blows + flimsy houses down, lifts shingle roofs occasionally, rolls up tin ones + like sheet music, now and then blows a stage coach over and spills the + passengers; and tradition says the reason there are so many bald people + there, is, that the wind blows the hair off their heads while they are + looking skyward after their hats. Carson streets seldom look inactive on + Summer afternoons, because there are so many citizens skipping around + their escaping hats, like chambermaids trying to head off a spider. + </p> + <p> + The "Washoe Zephyr" (Washoe is a pet nickname for Nevada) is a peculiar + Scriptural wind, in that no man knoweth "whence it cometh." That is to + say, where it originates. It comes right over the mountains from the West, + but when one crosses the ridge he does not find any of it on the other + side! It probably is manufactured on the mountain-top for the occasion, + and starts from there. It is a pretty regular wind, in the summer time. + Its office hours are from two in the afternoon till two the next morning; + and anybody venturing abroad during those twelve hours needs to allow for + the wind or he will bring up a mile or two to leeward of the point he is + aiming at. And yet the first complaint a Washoe visitor to San Francisco + makes, is that the sea winds blow so, there! There is a good deal of human + nature in that. + </p> + <p> + We found the state palace of the Governor of Nevada Territory to consist + of a white frame one-story house with two small rooms in it and a + stanchion supported shed in front—for grandeur—it compelled + the respect of the citizen and inspired the Indians with awe. The newly + arrived Chief and Associate Justices of the Territory, and other machinery + of the government, were domiciled with less splendor. They were boarding + around privately, and had their offices in their bedrooms. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link161" id="link161"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="161.jpg (63K)" src="images/161.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The Secretary and I took quarters in the "ranch" of a worthy French lady + by the name of Bridget O'Flannigan, a camp follower of his Excellency the + Governor. She had known him in his prosperity as commander-in-chief of the + Metropolitan Police of New York, and she would not desert him in his + adversity as Governor of Nevada. + </p> + <p> + Our room was on the lower floor, facing the plaza, and when we had got our + bed, a small table, two chairs, the government fire-proof safe, and the + Unabridged Dictionary into it, there was still room enough left for a + visitor—may be two, but not without straining the walls. But the + walls could stand it—at least the partitions could, for they + consisted simply of one thickness of white "cotton domestic" stretched + from corner to corner of the room. This was the rule in Carson—any + other kind of partition was the rare exception. And if you stood in a dark + room and your neighbors in the next had lights, the shadows on your canvas + told queer secrets sometimes! Very often these partitions were made of old + flour sacks basted together; and then the difference between the common + herd and the aristocracy was, that the common herd had unornamented sacks, + while the walls of the aristocrat were overpowering with rudimental fresco—i.e., + red and blue mill brands on the flour sacks. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link162" id="link162"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="162.jpg (42K)" src="images/162.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Occasionally, also, the better classes embellished their canvas by pasting + pictures from Harper's Weekly on them. In many cases, too, the wealthy and + the cultured rose to spittoons and other evidences of a sumptuous and + luxurious taste. [Washoe people take a joke so hard that I must explain + that the above description was only the rule; there were many honorable + exceptions in Carson—plastered ceilings and houses that had + considerable furniture in them.—M. T.] + </p> + <p> + We had a carpet and a genuine queen's-ware washbowl. Consequently we were + hated without reserve by the other tenants of the O'Flannigan "ranch." + When we added a painted oilcloth window curtain, we simply took our lives + into our own hands. To prevent bloodshed I removed up stairs and took up + quarters with the untitled plebeians in one of the fourteen white pine + cot-bedsteads that stood in two long ranks in the one sole room of which + the second story consisted. + </p> + <p> + It was a jolly company, the fourteen. They were principally voluntary + camp-followers of the Governor, who had joined his retinue by their own + election at New York and San Francisco and came along, feeling that in the + scuffle for little territorial crumbs and offices they could not make + their condition more precarious than it was, and might reasonably expect + to make it better. They were popularly known as the "Irish Brigade," + though there were only four or five Irishmen among all the Governor's + retainers. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link163" id="link163"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="163.jpg (95K)" src="images/163.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + His good-natured Excellency was much annoyed at the gossip his henchmen + created—especially when there arose a rumor that they were paid + assassins of his, brought along to quietly reduce the democratic vote when + desirable! + </p> + <p> + Mrs. O'Flannigan was boarding and lodging them at ten dollars a week + apiece, and they were cheerfully giving their notes for it. They were + perfectly satisfied, but Bridget presently found that notes that could not + be discounted were but a feeble constitution for a Carson boarding- house. + So she began to harry the Governor to find employment for the "Brigade." + Her importunities and theirs together drove him to a gentle desperation at + last, and he finally summoned the Brigade to the presence. Then, said he: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, I have planned a lucrative and useful service for you—a + service which will provide you with recreation amid noble landscapes, and + afford you never ceasing opportunities for enriching your minds by + observation and study. I want you to survey a railroad from Carson City + westward to a certain point! When the legislature meets I will have the + necessary bill passed and the remuneration arranged." + </p> + <p> + "What, a railroad over the Sierra Nevada Mountains?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, survey it eastward to a certain point!" + </p> + <p> + He converted them into surveyors, chain-bearers and so on, and turned them + loose in the desert. It was "recreation" with a vengeance! Recreation on + foot, lugging chains through sand and sage-brush, under a sultry sun and + among cattle bones, cayotes and tarantulas. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link164" id="link164"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="164.jpg (15K)" src="images/164.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Romantic adventure" could go no further. They surveyed very slowly, very + deliberately, very carefully. They returned every night during the first + week, dusty, footsore, tired, and hungry, but very jolly. They brought in + great store of prodigious hairy spiders—tarantulas—and + imprisoned them in covered tumblers up stairs in the "ranch." After the + first week, they had to camp on the field, for they were getting well + eastward. They made a good many inquiries as to the location of that + indefinite "certain point," but got no information. At last, to a + peculiarly urgent inquiry of "How far eastward?" Governor Nye telegraphed + back: + </p> + <p> + "To the Atlantic Ocean, blast you!—and then bridge it and go on!" + </p> + <p> + This brought back the dusty toilers, who sent in a report and ceased from + their labors. The Governor was always comfortable about it; he said Mrs. + O'Flannigan would hold him for the Brigade's board anyhow, and he intended + to get what entertainment he could out of the boys; he said, with his + old-time pleasant twinkle, that he meant to survey them into Utah and then + telegraph Brigham to hang them for trespass! + </p> + <p> + The surveyors brought back more tarantulas with them, and so we had quite + a menagerie arranged along the shelves of the room. Some of these spiders + could straddle over a common saucer with their hairy, muscular legs, and + when their feelings were hurt, or their dignity offended, they were the + wickedest-looking desperadoes the animal world can furnish. If their glass + prison-houses were touched ever so lightly they were up and spoiling for a + fight in a minute. Starchy?—proud? Indeed, they would take up a + straw and pick their teeth like a member of Congress. There was as usual a + furious "zephyr" blowing the first night of the brigade's return, and + about midnight the roof of an adjoining stable blew off, and a corner of + it came crashing through the side of our ranch. There was a simultaneous + awakening, and a tumultuous muster of the brigade in the dark, and a + general tumbling and sprawling over each other in the narrow aisle between + the bedrows. In the midst of the turmoil, Bob H——sprung up out + of a sound sleep, and knocked down a shelf with his head. Instantly he + shouted: + </p> + <p> + "Turn out, boys—the tarantulas is loose!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link165" id="link165"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="165.jpg (15K)" src="images/165.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + No warning ever sounded so dreadful. Nobody tried, any longer, to leave + the room, lest he might step on a tarantula. Every man groped for a trunk + or a bed, and jumped on it. Then followed the strangest silence—a + silence of grisly suspense it was, too—waiting, expectancy, fear. It + was as dark as pitch, and one had to imagine the spectacle of those + fourteen scant-clad men roosting gingerly on trunks and beds, for not a + thing could be seen. Then came occasional little interruptions of the + silence, and one could recognize a man and tell his locality by his voice, + or locate any other sound a sufferer made by his gropings or changes of + position. The occasional voices were not given to much speaking—you + simply heard a gentle ejaculation of "Ow!" followed by a solid thump, and + you knew the gentleman had felt a hairy blanket or something touch his + bare skin and had skipped from a bed to the floor. Another silence. + Presently you would hear a gasping voice say: + </p> + <p> + "Su—su—something's crawling up the back of my neck!" + </p> + <p> + Every now and then you could hear a little subdued scramble and a + sorrowful "O Lord!" and then you knew that somebody was getting away from + something he took for a tarantula, and not losing any time about it, + either. Directly a voice in the corner rang out wild and clear: + </p> + <p> + "I've got him! I've got him!" [Pause, and probable change of + circumstances.] "No, he's got me! Oh, ain't they never going to fetch a + lantern!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link166" id="link166"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="166.jpg (89K)" src="images/166.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The lantern came at that moment, in the hands of Mrs. O'Flannigan, whose + anxiety to know the amount of damage done by the assaulting roof had not + prevented her waiting a judicious interval, after getting out of bed and + lighting up, to see if the wind was done, now, up stairs, or had a larger + contract. + </p> + <p> + The landscape presented when the lantern flashed into the room was + picturesque, and might have been funny to some people, but was not to us. + Although we were perched so strangely upon boxes, trunks and beds, and so + strangely attired, too, we were too earnestly distressed and too genuinely + miserable to see any fun about it, and there was not the semblance of a + smile anywhere visible. I know I am not capable of suffering more than I + did during those few minutes of suspense in the dark, surrounded by those + creeping, bloody-minded tarantulas. I had skipped from bed to bed and from + box to box in a cold agony, and every time I touched anything that was + furzy I fancied I felt the fangs. I had rather go to war than live that + episode over again. Nobody was hurt. The man who thought a tarantula had + "got him" was mistaken—only a crack in a box had caught his finger. + Not one of those escaped tarantulas was ever seen again. There were ten or + twelve of them. We took candles and hunted the place high and low for + them, but with no success. Did we go back to bed then? We did nothing of + the kind. Money could not have persuaded us to do it. We sat up the rest + of the night playing cribbage and keeping a sharp lookout for the enemy. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch22" id="linkch22"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + It was the end of August, and the skies were cloudless and the weather + superb. In two or three weeks I had grown wonderfully fascinated with the + curious new country and concluded to put off my return to "the States" + awhile. I had grown well accustomed to wearing a damaged slouch hat, blue + woolen shirt, and pants crammed into boot-tops, and gloried in the absence + of coat, vest and braces. I felt rowdyish and "bully," (as the historian + Josephus phrases it, in his fine chapter upon the destruction of the + Temple). It seemed to me that nothing could be so fine and so romantic. I + had become an officer of the government, but that was for mere sublimity. + The office was an unique sinecure. I had nothing to do and no salary. I + was private Secretary to his majesty the Secretary and there was not yet + writing enough for two of us. So Johnny K——and I devoted our + time to amusement. He was the young son of an Ohio nabob and was out there + for recreation. He got it. We had heard a world of talk about the + marvellous beauty of Lake Tahoe, and finally curiosity drove us thither to + see it. Three or four members of the Brigade had been there and located + some timber lands on its shores and stored up a quantity of provisions in + their camp. We strapped a couple of blankets on our shoulders and took an + axe apiece and started—for we intended to take up a wood ranch or so + ourselves and become wealthy. We were on foot. The reader will find it + advantageous to go horseback. We were told that the distance was eleven + miles. We tramped a long time on level ground, and then toiled laboriously + up a mountain about a thousand miles high and looked over. No lake there. + We descended on the other side, crossed the valley and toiled up another + mountain three or four thousand miles high, apparently, and looked over + again. No lake yet. We sat down tired and perspiring, and hired a couple + of Chinamen to curse those people who had beguiled us. Thus refreshed, we + presently resumed the march with renewed vigor and determination. We + plodded on, two or three hours longer, and at last the Lake burst upon us—a + noble sheet of blue water lifted six thousand three hundred feet above the + level of the sea, and walled in by a rim of snow-clad mountain peaks that + towered aloft full three thousand feet higher still! It was a vast oval, + and one would have to use up eighty or a hundred good miles in traveling + around it. As it lay there with the shadows of the mountains brilliantly + photographed upon its still surface I thought it must surely be the + fairest picture the whole earth affords. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link169" id="link169"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="169.jpg (80K)" src="images/169.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We found the small skiff belonging to the Brigade boys, and without loss + of time set out across a deep bend of the lake toward the landmarks that + signified the locality of the camp. I got Johnny to row—not because + I mind exertion myself, but because it makes me sick to ride backwards + when I am at work. But I steered. A three-mile pull brought us to the camp + just as the night fell, and we stepped ashore very tired and wolfishly + hungry. In a "cache" among the rocks we found the provisions and the + cooking utensils, and then, all fatigued as I was, I sat down on a boulder + and superintended while Johnny gathered wood and cooked supper. Many a man + who had gone through what I had, would have wanted to rest. + </p> + <p> + It was a delicious supper—hot bread, fried bacon, and black coffee. + It was a delicious solitude we were in, too. Three miles away was a saw- + mill and some workmen, but there were not fifteen other human beings + throughout the wide circumference of the lake. As the darkness closed down + and the stars came out and spangled the great mirror with jewels, we + smoked meditatively in the solemn hush and forgot our troubles and our + pains. In due time we spread our blankets in the warm sand between two + large boulders and soon feel asleep, careless of the procession of ants + that passed in through rents in our clothing and explored our persons. + Nothing could disturb the sleep that fettered us, for it had been fairly + earned, and if our consciences had any sins on them they had to adjourn + court for that night, any way. The wind rose just as we were losing + consciousness, and we were lulled to sleep by the beating of the surf upon + the shore. + </p> + <p> + It is always very cold on that lake shore in the night, but we had plenty + of blankets and were warm enough. We never moved a muscle all night, but + waked at early dawn in the original positions, and got up at once, + thoroughly refreshed, free from soreness, and brim full of friskiness. + There is no end of wholesome medicine in such an experience. That morning + we could have whipped ten such people as we were the day before—sick + ones at any rate. But the world is slow, and people will go to "water + cures" and "movement cures" and to foreign lands for health. Three months + of camp life on Lake Tahoe would restore an Egyptian mummy to his pristine + vigor, and give him an appetite like an alligator. I do not mean the + oldest and driest mummies, of course, but the fresher ones. The air up + there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why + shouldn't it be?—it is the same the angels breathe. I think that + hardly any amount of fatigue can be gathered together that a man cannot + sleep off in one night on the sand by its side. Not under a roof, but + under the sky; it seldom or never rains there in the summer time. I know a + man who went there to die. But he made a failure of it. He was a skeleton + when he came, and could barely stand. He had no appetite, and did nothing + but read tracts and reflect on the future. Three months later he was + sleeping out of doors regularly, eating all he could hold, three times a + day, and chasing game over mountains three thousand feet high for + recreation. And he was a skeleton no longer, but weighed part of a ton. + This is no fancy sketch, but the truth. His disease was consumption. I + confidently commend his experience to other skeletons. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <a name="link170" id="link170"></a> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="170.jpg (19K)" src="images/170.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <a + name="link171" id="link171"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="171.jpg (34K)" src="images/171.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I superintended again, and as soon as we had eaten breakfast we got in the + boat and skirted along the lake shore about three miles and disembarked. + We liked the appearance of the place, and so we claimed some three hundred + acres of it and stuck our "notices" on a tree. It was yellow pine timber + land—a dense forest of trees a hundred feet high and from one to + five feet through at the butt. It was necessary to fence our property or + we could not hold it. That is to say, it was necessary to cut down trees + here and there and make them fall in such a way as to form a sort of + enclosure (with pretty wide gaps in it). We cut down three trees apiece, + and found it such heart-breaking work that we decided to "rest our case" + on those; if they held the property, well and good; if they didn't, let + the property spill out through the gaps and go; it was no use to work + ourselves to death merely to save a few acres of land. Next day we came + back to build a house—for a house was also necessary, in order to + hold the property. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link172" id="link172"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="172.jpg (142K)" src="images/172.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We decided to build a substantial log- house and excite the envy of the + Brigade boys; but by the time we had cut and trimmed the first log it + seemed unnecessary to be so elaborate, and so we concluded to build it of + saplings. However, two saplings, duly cut and trimmed, compelled + recognition of the fact that a still modester architecture would satisfy + the law, and so we concluded to build a "brush" house. We devoted the next + day to this work, but we did so much "sitting around" and discussing, that + by the middle of the afternoon we had achieved only a half-way sort of + affair which one of us had to watch while the other cut brush, lest if + both turned our backs we might not be able to find it again, it had such a + strong family resemblance to the surrounding vegetation. But we were + satisfied with it. + </p> + <p> + We were land owners now, duly seized and possessed, and within the + protection of the law. Therefore we decided to take up our residence on + our own domain and enjoy that large sense of independence which only such + an experience can bring. Late the next afternoon, after a good long rest, + we sailed away from the Brigade camp with all the provisions and cooking + utensils we could carry off—borrow is the more accurate word—and + just as the night was falling we beached the boat at our own landing. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch23" id="linkch23"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + If there is any life that is happier than the life we led on our timber + ranch for the next two or three weeks, it must be a sort of life which I + have not read of in books or experienced in person. We did not see a human + being but ourselves during the time, or hear any sounds but those that + were made by the wind and the waves, the sighing of the pines, and now and + then the far-off thunder of an avalanche. The forest about us was dense + and cool, the sky above us was cloudless and brilliant with sunshine, the + broad lake before us was glassy and clear, or rippled and breezy, or black + and storm-tossed, according to Nature's mood; and its circling border of + mountain domes, clothed with forests, scarred with land-slides, cloven by + canons and valleys, and helmeted with glittering snow, fitly framed and + finished the noble picture. The view was always fascinating, bewitching, + entrancing. The eye was never tired of gazing, night or day, in calm or + storm; it suffered but one grief, and that was that it could not look + always, but must close sometimes in sleep. + </p> + <p> + We slept in the sand close to the water's edge, between two protecting + boulders, which took care of the stormy night-winds for us. We never took + any paregoric to make us sleep. At the first break of dawn we were always + up and running foot-races to tone down excess of physical vigor and + exuberance of spirits. That is, Johnny was—but I held his hat. While + smoking the pipe of peace after breakfast we watched the sentinel peaks + put on the glory of the sun, and followed the conquering light as it swept + down among the shadows, and set the captive crags and forests free. We + watched the tinted pictures grow and brighten upon the water till every + little detail of forest, precipice and pinnacle was wrought in and + finished, and the miracle of the enchanter complete. Then to "business." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link174" id="link174"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="174.jpg (84K)" src="images/174.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + That is, drifting around in the boat. We were on the north shore. There, + the rocks on the bottom are sometimes gray, sometimes white. This gives + the marvelous transparency of the water a fuller advantage than it has + elsewhere on the lake. We usually pushed out a hundred yards or so from + shore, and then lay down on the thwarts, in the sun, and let the boat + drift by the hour whither it would. We seldom talked. It interrupted the + Sabbath stillness, and marred the dreams the luxurious rest and indolence + brought. The shore all along was indented with deep, curved bays and + coves, bordered by narrow sand-beaches; and where the sand ended, the + steep mountain-sides rose right up aloft into space—rose up like a + vast wall a little out of the perpendicular, and thickly wooded with tall + pines. + </p> + <p> + So singularly clear was the water, that where it was only twenty or thirty + feet deep the bottom was so perfectly distinct that the boat seemed + floating in the air! Yes, where it was even eighty feet deep. Every little + pebble was distinct, every speckled trout, every hand's- breadth of sand. + Often, as we lay on our faces, a granite boulder, as large as a village + church, would start out of the bottom apparently, and seem climbing up + rapidly to the surface, till presently it threatened to touch our faces, + and we could not resist the impulse to seize an oar and avert the danger. + But the boat would float on, and the boulder descend again, and then we + could see that when we had been exactly above it, it must still have been + twenty or thirty feet below the surface. Down through the transparency of + these great depths, the water was not merely transparent, but dazzlingly, + brilliantly so. All objects seen through it had a bright, strong + vividness, not only of outline, but of every minute detail, which they + would not have had when seen simply through the same depth of atmosphere. + So empty and airy did all spaces seem below us, and so strong was the + sense of floating high aloft in mid-nothingness, that we called these + boat-excursions "balloon-voyages." + </p> + <p> + We fished a good deal, but we did not average one fish a week. We could + see trout by the thousand winging about in the emptiness under us, or + sleeping in shoals on the bottom, but they would not bite—they could + see the line too plainly, perhaps. We frequently selected the trout we + wanted, and rested the bait patiently and persistently on the end of his + nose at a depth of eighty feet, but he would only shake it off with an + annoyed manner, and shift his position. + </p> + <p> + We bathed occasionally, but the water was rather chilly, for all it looked + so sunny. Sometimes we rowed out to the "blue water," a mile or two from + shore. It was as dead blue as indigo there, because of the immense depth. + By official measurement the lake in its centre is one thousand five + hundred and twenty-five feet deep! + </p> + <p> + Sometimes, on lazy afternoons, we lolled on the sand in camp, and smoked + pipes and read some old well-worn novels. At night, by the camp-fire, we + played euchre and seven-up to strengthen the mind—and played them + with cards so greasy and defaced that only a whole summer's acquaintance + with them could enable the student to tell the ace of clubs from the jack + of diamonds. + </p> + <p> + We never slept in our "house." It never recurred to us, for one thing; and + besides, it was built to hold the ground, and that was enough. We did not + wish to strain it. + </p> + <p> + By and by our provisions began to run short, and we went back to the old + camp and laid in a new supply. We were gone all day, and reached home + again about night-fall, pretty tired and hungry. While Johnny was carrying + the main bulk of the provisions up to our "house" for future use, I took + the loaf of bread, some slices of bacon, and the coffee-pot, ashore, set + them down by a tree, lit a fire, and went back to the boat to get the + frying-pan. While I was at this, I heard a shout from Johnny, and looking + up I saw that my fire was galloping all over the premises! Johnny was on + the other side of it. He had to run through the flames to get to the lake + shore, and then we stood helpless and watched the devastation. + </p> + <p> + The ground was deeply carpeted with dry pine-needles, and the fire touched + them off as if they were gunpowder. It was wonderful to see with what + fierce speed the tall sheet of flame traveled! My coffee-pot was gone, and + everything with it. In a minute and a half the fire seized upon a dense + growth of dry manzanita chapparal six or eight feet high, and then the + roaring and popping and crackling was something terrific. We were driven + to the boat by the intense heat, and there we remained, spell-bound. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link176" id="link176"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="176.jpg (161K)" src="images/176.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Within half an hour all before us was a tossing, blinding tempest of + flame! It went surging up adjacent ridges—surmounted them and + disappeared in the canons beyond—burst into view upon higher and + farther ridges, presently—shed a grander illumination abroad, and + dove again—flamed out again, directly, higher and still higher up + the mountain-side- -threw out skirmishing parties of fire here and there, + and sent them trailing their crimson spirals away among remote ramparts + and ribs and gorges, till as far as the eye could reach the lofty + mountain-fronts were webbed as it were with a tangled network of red lava + streams. Away across the water the crags and domes were lit with a ruddy + glare, and the firmament above was a reflected hell! + </p> + <p> + Every feature of the spectacle was repeated in the glowing mirror of the + lake! Both pictures were sublime, both were beautiful; but that in the + lake had a bewildering richness about it that enchanted the eye and held + it with the stronger fascination. + </p> + <p> + We sat absorbed and motionless through four long hours. We never thought + of supper, and never felt fatigue. But at eleven o'clock the conflagration + had traveled beyond our range of vision, and then darkness stole down upon + the landscape again. + </p> + <p> + Hunger asserted itself now, but there was nothing to eat. The provisions + were all cooked, no doubt, but we did not go to see. We were homeless + wanderers again, without any property. Our fence was gone, our house + burned down; no insurance. Our pine forest was well scorched, the dead + trees all burned up, and our broad acres of manzanita swept away. Our + blankets were on our usual sand-bed, however, and so we lay down and went + to sleep. The next morning we started back to the old camp, but while out + a long way from shore, so great a storm came up that we dared not try to + land. So I baled out the seas we shipped, and Johnny pulled heavily + through the billows till we had reached a point three or four miles beyond + the camp. The storm was increasing, and it became evident that it was + better to take the hazard of beaching the boat than go down in a hundred + fathoms of water; so we ran in, with tall white-caps following, and I sat + down in the stern-sheets and pointed her head-on to the shore. The instant + the bow struck, a wave came over the stern that washed crew and cargo + ashore, and saved a deal of trouble. We shivered in the lee of a boulder + all the rest of the day, and froze all the night through. In the morning + the tempest had gone down, and we paddled down to the camp without any + unnecessary delay. We were so starved that we ate up the rest of the + Brigade's provisions, and then set out to Carson to tell them about it and + ask their forgiveness. It was accorded, upon payment of damages. + </p> + <p> + We made many trips to the lake after that, and had many a hair-breadth + escape and blood-curdling adventure which will never be recorded in any + history. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch24" id="linkch24"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I resolved to have a horse to ride. I had never seen such wild, free, + magnificent horsemanship outside of a circus as these picturesquely-clad + Mexicans, Californians and Mexicanized Americans displayed in Carson + streets every day. How they rode! Leaning just gently forward out of the + perpendicular, easy and nonchalant, with broad slouch-hat brim blown + square up in front, and long riata swinging above the head, they swept + through the town like the wind! The next minute they were only a sailing + puff of dust on the far desert. If they trotted, they sat up gallantly and + gracefully, and seemed part of the horse; did not go jiggering up and down + after the silly Miss-Nancy fashion of the riding-schools. I had quickly + learned to tell a horse from a cow, and was full of anxiety to learn more. + I was resolved to buy a horse. + </p> + <p> + While the thought was rankling in my mind, the auctioneer came skurrying + through the plaza on a black beast that had as many humps and corners on + him as a dromedary, and was necessarily uncomely; but he was "going, + going, at twenty-two!—horse, saddle and bridle at twenty-two + dollars, gentlemen!" and I could hardly resist. + </p> + <p> + A man whom I did not know (he turned out to be the auctioneer's brother) + noticed the wistful look in my eye, and observed that that was a very + remarkable horse to be going at such a price; and added that the saddle + alone was worth the money. It was a Spanish saddle, with ponderous + 'tapidaros', and furnished with the ungainly sole-leather covering with + the unspellable name. I said I had half a notion to bid. Then this + keen-eyed person appeared to me to be "taking my measure"; but I dismissed + the suspicion when he spoke, for his manner was full of guileless candor + and truthfulness. Said he: + </p> + <p> + "I know that horse—know him well. You are a stranger, I take it, and + so you might think he was an American horse, maybe, but I assure you he is + not. He is nothing of the kind; but—excuse my speaking in a low + voice, other people being near—he is, without the shadow of a doubt, + a Genuine Mexican Plug!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link179" id="link179"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="179.jpg (96K)" src="images/179.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I did not know what a Genuine Mexican Plug was, but there was something + about this man's way of saying it, that made me swear inwardly that I + would own a Genuine Mexican Plug, or die. + </p> + <p> + "Has he any other—er—advantages?" I inquired, suppressing what + eagerness I could. + </p> + <p> + He hooked his forefinger in the pocket of my army-shirt, led me to one + side, and breathed in my ear impressively these words: + </p> + <p> + "He can out-buck anything in America!" + </p> + <p> + "Going, going, going—at twent—ty—four dollars and a + half, gen—" + </p> + <p> + "Twenty-seven!" I shouted, in a frenzy. + </p> + <p> + "And sold!" said the auctioneer, and passed over the Genuine Mexican Plug + to me. + </p> + <p> + I could scarcely contain my exultation. I paid the money, and put the + animal in a neighboring livery-stable to dine and rest himself. + </p> + <p> + In the afternoon I brought the creature into the plaza, and certain + citizens held him by the head, and others by the tail, while I mounted + him. As soon as they let go, he placed all his feet in a bunch together, + lowered his back, and then suddenly arched it upward, and shot me straight + into the air a matter of three or four feet! I came as straight down + again, lit in the saddle, went instantly up again, came down almost on the + high pommel, shot up again, and came down on the horse's neck—all in + the space of three or four seconds. Then he rose and stood almost straight + up on his hind feet, and I, clasping his lean neck desperately, slid back + into the saddle and held on. He came down, and immediately hoisted his + heels into the air, delivering a vicious kick at the sky, and stood on his + forefeet. And then down he came once more, and began the original exercise + of shooting me straight up again. The third time I went up I heard a + stranger say: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link180" id="link180"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="180.jpg (50K)" src="images/180.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Oh, don't he buck, though!" + </p> + <p> + While I was up, somebody struck the horse a sounding thwack with a + leathern strap, and when I arrived again the Genuine Mexican Plug was not + there. A California youth chased him up and caught him, and asked if he + might have a ride. I granted him that luxury. He mounted the Genuine, got + lifted into the air once, but sent his spurs home as he descended, and the + horse darted away like a telegram. He soared over three fences like a + bird, and disappeared down the road toward the Washoe Valley. + </p> + <p> + I sat down on a stone, with a sigh, and by a natural impulse one of my + hands sought my forehead, and the other the base of my stomach. I believe + I never appreciated, till then, the poverty of the human machinery—for + I still needed a hand or two to place elsewhere. Pen cannot describe how I + was jolted up. Imagination cannot conceive how disjointed I was—how + internally, externally and universally I was unsettled, mixed up and + ruptured. There was a sympathetic crowd around me, though. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link181" id="link181"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="181.jpg (38K)" src="images/181.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + One elderly-looking comforter said: + </p> + <p> + "Stranger, you've been taken in. Everybody in this camp knows that horse. + Any child, any Injun, could have told you that he'd buck; he is the very + worst devil to buck on the continent of America. You hear me. I'm Curry. + Old Curry. Old Abe Curry. And moreover, he is a simon-pure, out-and-out, + genuine d—d Mexican plug, and an uncommon mean one at that, too. + Why, you turnip, if you had laid low and kept dark, there's chances to buy + an American horse for mighty little more than you paid for that bloody old + foreign relic." + </p> + <p> + I gave no sign; but I made up my mind that if the auctioneer's brother's + funeral took place while I was in the Territory I would postpone all other + recreations and attend it. + </p> + <p> + After a gallop of sixteen miles the Californian youth and the Genuine + Mexican Plug came tearing into town again, shedding foam-flakes like the + spume-spray that drives before a typhoon, and, with one final skip over a + wheelbarrow and a Chinaman, cast anchor in front of the "ranch." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link182" id="link182"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="182.jpg (45K)" src="images/182.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Such panting and blowing! Such spreading and contracting of the red equine + nostrils, and glaring of the wild equine eye! But was the imperial beast + subjugated? Indeed he was not. + </p> + <p> + His lordship the Speaker of the House thought he was, and mounted him to + go down to the Capitol; but the first dash the creature made was over a + pile of telegraph poles half as high as a church; and his time to the + Capitol—one mile and three quarters—remains unbeaten to this + day. But then he took an advantage—he left out the mile, and only + did the three quarters. That is to say, he made a straight cut across + lots, preferring fences and ditches to a crooked road; and when the + Speaker got to the Capitol he said he had been in the air so much he felt + as if he had made the trip on a comet. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link183" id="link183"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="183.jpg (50K)" src="images/183.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + In the evening the Speaker came home afoot for exercise, and got the + Genuine towed back behind a quartz wagon. The next day I loaned the animal + to the Clerk of the House to go down to the Dana silver mine, six miles, + and he walked back for exercise, and got the horse towed. Everybody I + loaned him to always walked back; they never could get enough exercise any + other way. + </p> + <p> + Still, I continued to loan him to anybody who was willing to borrow him, + my idea being to get him crippled, and throw him on the borrower's hands, + or killed, and make the borrower pay for him. But somehow nothing ever + happened to him. He took chances that no other horse ever took and + survived, but he always came out safe. It was his daily habit to try + experiments that had always before been considered impossible, but he + always got through. Sometimes he miscalculated a little, and did not get + his rider through intact, but he always got through himself. Of course I + had tried to sell him; but that was a stretch of simplicity which met with + little sympathy. The auctioneer stormed up and down the streets on him for + four days, dispersing the populace, interrupting business, and destroying + children, and never got a bid—at least never any but the + eighteen-dollar one he hired a notoriously substanceless bummer to make. + The people only smiled pleasantly, and restrained their desire to buy, if + they had any. Then the auctioneer brought in his bill, and I withdrew the + horse from the market. We tried to trade him off at private vendue next, + offering him at a sacrifice for second-hand tombstones, old iron, + temperance tracts—any kind of property. But holders were stiff, and + we retired from the market again. I never tried to ride the horse any + more. Walking was good enough exercise for a man like me, that had nothing + the matter with him except ruptures, internal injuries, and such things. + Finally I tried to give him away. But it was a failure. Parties said + earthquakes were handy enough on the Pacific coast—they did not wish + to own one. As a last resort I offered him to the Governor for the use of + the "Brigade." His face lit up eagerly at first, but toned down again, and + he said the thing would be too palpable. + </p> + <p> + Just then the livery stable man brought in his bill for six weeks' keeping—stall-room + for the horse, fifteen dollars; hay for the horse, two hundred and fifty! + The Genuine Mexican Plug had eaten a ton of the article, and the man said + he would have eaten a hundred if he had let him. + </p> + <p> + I will remark here, in all seriousness, that the regular price of hay + during that year and a part of the next was really two hundred and fifty + dollars a ton. During a part of the previous year it had sold at five + hundred a ton, in gold, and during the winter before that there was such + scarcity of the article that in several instances small quantities had + brought eight hundred dollars a ton in coin! The consequence might be + guessed without my telling it: peopled turned their stock loose to starve, + and before the spring arrived Carson and Eagle valleys were almost + literally carpeted with their carcases! Any old settler there will verify + these statements. + </p> + <p> + I managed to pay the livery bill, and that same day I gave the Genuine + Mexican Plug to a passing Arkansas emigrant whom fortune delivered into my + hand. If this ever meets his eye, he will doubtless remember the donation. + </p> + <p> + Now whoever has had the luck to ride a real Mexican plug will recognize + the animal depicted in this chapter, and hardly consider him exaggerated—but + the uninitiated will feel justified in regarding his portrait as a fancy + sketch, perhaps. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch25" id="linkch25"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Originally, Nevada was a part of Utah and was called Carson county; and a + pretty large county it was, too. Certain of its valleys produced no end of + hay, and this attracted small colonies of Mormon stock-raisers and farmers + to them. A few orthodox Americans straggled in from California, but no + love was lost between the two classes of colonists. There was little or no + friendly intercourse; each party staid to itself. The Mormons were largely + in the majority, and had the additional advantage of being peculiarly + under the protection of the Mormon government of the Territory. Therefore + they could afford to be distant, and even peremptory toward their + neighbors. One of the traditions of Carson Valley illustrates the + condition of things that prevailed at the time I speak of. The hired girl + of one of the American families was Irish, and a Catholic; yet it was + noted with surprise that she was the only person outside of the Mormon + ring who could get favors from the Mormons. She asked kindnesses of them + often, and always got them. It was a mystery to everybody. But one day as + she was passing out at the door, a large bowie knife dropped from under + her apron, and when her mistress asked for an explanation she observed + that she was going out to "borry a wash-tub from the Mormons!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link186" id="link186"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="186.jpg (88K)" src="images/186.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + In 1858 silver lodes were discovered in "Carson County," and then the + aspect of things changed. Californians began to flock in, and the American + element was soon in the majority. Allegiance to Brigham Young and Utah was + renounced, and a temporary territorial government for "Washoe" was + instituted by the citizens. Governor Roop was the first and only chief + magistrate of it. In due course of time Congress passed a bill to organize + "Nevada Territory," and President Lincoln sent out Governor Nye to + supplant Roop. + </p> + <p> + At this time the population of the Territory was about twelve or fifteen + thousand, and rapidly increasing. Silver mines were being vigorously + developed and silver mills erected. Business of all kinds was active and + prosperous and growing more so day by day. + </p> + <p> + The people were glad to have a legitimately constituted government, but + did not particularly enjoy having strangers from distant States put in + authority over them—a sentiment that was natural enough. They + thought the officials should have been chosen from among themselves from + among prominent citizens who had earned a right to such promotion, and who + would be in sympathy with the populace and likewise thoroughly acquainted + with the needs of the Territory. They were right in viewing the matter + thus, without doubt. The new officers were "emigrants," and that was no + title to anybody's affection or admiration either. + </p> + <p> + The new government was received with considerable coolness. It was not + only a foreign intruder, but a poor one. It was not even worth plucking—except + by the smallest of small fry office-seekers and such. Everybody knew that + Congress had appropriated only twenty thousand dollars a year in + greenbacks for its support—about money enough to run a quartz mill a + month. And everybody knew, also, that the first year's money was still in + Washington, and that the getting hold of it would be a tedious and + difficult process. Carson City was too wary and too wise to open up a + credit account with the imported bantling with anything like indecent + haste. + </p> + <p> + There is something solemnly funny about the struggles of a new-born + Territorial government to get a start in this world. Ours had a trying + time of it. The Organic Act and the "instructions" from the State + Department commanded that a legislature should be elected at such-and- + such a time, and its sittings inaugurated at such-and-such a date. It was + easy to get legislators, even at three dollars a day, although board was + four dollars and fifty cents, for distinction has its charm in Nevada as + well as elsewhere, and there were plenty of patriotic souls out of + employment; but to get a legislative hall for them to meet in was another + matter altogether. Carson blandly declined to give a room rent-free, or + let one to the government on credit. + </p> + <p> + But when Curry heard of the difficulty, he came forward, solitary and + alone, and shouldered the Ship of State over the bar and got her afloat + again. I refer to "Curry—Old Curry—Old Abe Curry." But for him + the legislature would have been obliged to sit in the desert. He offered + his large stone building just outside the capital limits, rent-free, and + it was gladly accepted. Then he built a horse-railroad from town to the + capitol, and carried the legislators gratis. + </p> + <p> + He also furnished pine benches and chairs for the legislature, and covered + the floors with clean saw-dust by way of carpet and spittoon combined. But + for Curry the government would have died in its tender infancy. A canvas + partition to separate the Senate from the House of Representatives was put + up by the Secretary, at a cost of three dollars and forty cents, but the + United States declined to pay for it. Upon being reminded that the + "instructions" permitted the payment of a liberal rent for a legislative + hall, and that that money was saved to the country by Mr. Curry's + generosity, the United States said that did not alter the matter, and the + three dollars and forty cents would be subtracted from the Secretary's + eighteen hundred dollar salary—and it was! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link188" id="link188"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="188.jpg (30K)" src="images/188.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The matter of printing was from the beginning an interesting feature of + the new government's difficulties. The Secretary was sworn to obey his + volume of written "instructions," and these commanded him to do two + certain things without fail, viz.: + </p> + <p> + 1. Get the House and Senate journals printed; and, 2. For this work, pay + one dollar and fifty cents per "thousand" for composition, and one dollar + and fifty cents per "token" for press-work, in greenbacks. + </p> + <p> + It was easy to swear to do these two things, but it was entirely + impossible to do more than one of them. When greenbacks had gone down to + forty cents on the dollar, the prices regularly charged everybody by + printing establishments were one dollar and fifty cents per "thousand" and + one dollar and fifty cents per "token," in gold. The "instructions" + commanded that the Secretary regard a paper dollar issued by the + government as equal to any other dollar issued by the government. Hence + the printing of the journals was discontinued. Then the United States + sternly rebuked the Secretary for disregarding the "instructions," and + warned him to correct his ways. Wherefore he got some printing done, + forwarded the bill to Washington with full exhibits of the high prices of + things in the Territory, and called attention to a printed market report + wherein it would be observed that even hay was two hundred and fifty + dollars a ton. The United States responded by subtracting the printing- + bill from the Secretary's suffering salary—and moreover remarked + with dense gravity that he would find nothing in his "instructions" + requiring him to purchase hay! + </p> + <p> + Nothing in this world is palled in such impenetrable obscurity as a U.S. + Treasury Comptroller's understanding. The very fires of the hereafter + could get up nothing more than a fitful glimmer in it. In the days I speak + of he never could be made to comprehend why it was that twenty thousand + dollars would not go as far in Nevada, where all commodities ranged at an + enormous figure, as it would in the other Territories, where exceeding + cheapness was the rule. He was an officer who looked out for the little + expenses all the time. The Secretary of the Territory kept his office in + his bedroom, as I before remarked; and he charged the United States no + rent, although his "instructions" provided for that item and he could have + justly taken advantage of it (a thing which I would have done with more + than lightning promptness if I had been Secretary myself). But the United + States never applauded this devotion. Indeed, I think my country was + ashamed to have so improvident a person in its employ. + </p> + <p> + Those "instructions" (we used to read a chapter from them every morning, + as intellectual gymnastics, and a couple of chapters in Sunday school + every Sabbath, for they treated of all subjects under the sun and had much + valuable religious matter in them along with the other statistics) those + "instructions" commanded that pen-knives, envelopes, pens and + writing-paper be furnished the members of the legislature. So the + Secretary made the purchase and the distribution. The knives cost three + dollars apiece. There was one too many, and the Secretary gave it to the + Clerk of the House of Representatives. The United States said the Clerk of + the House was not a "member" of the legislature, and took that three + dollars out of the Secretary's salary, as usual. + </p> + <p> + White men charged three or four dollars a "load" for sawing up stove- + wood. The Secretary was sagacious enough to know that the United States + would never pay any such price as that; so he got an Indian to saw up a + load of office wood at one dollar and a half. He made out the usual + voucher, but signed no name to it—simply appended a note explaining + that an Indian had done the work, and had done it in a very capable and + satisfactory way, but could not sign the voucher owing to lack of ability + in the necessary direction. The Secretary had to pay that dollar and a + half. He thought the United States would admire both his economy and his + honesty in getting the work done at half price and not putting a pretended + Indian's signature to the voucher, but the United States did not see it in + that light. + </p> + <p> + The United States was too much accustomed to employing dollar-and-a-half + thieves in all manner of official capacities to regard his explanation of + the voucher as having any foundation in fact. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link190" id="link190"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="190.jpg (22K)" src="images/190.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But the next time the Indian sawed wood for us I taught him to make a + cross at the bottom of the voucher—it looked like a cross that had + been drunk a year—and then I "witnessed" it and it went through all + right. The United States never said a word. I was sorry I had not made the + voucher for a thousand loads of wood instead of one. + </p> + <p> + The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic + villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable + pickpocket if I had remained in the public service a year or two. + </p> + <p> + That was a fine collection of sovereigns, that first Nevada legislature. + They levied taxes to the amount of thirty or forty thousand dollars and + ordered expenditures to the extent of about a million. Yet they had their + little periodical explosions of economy like all other bodies of the kind. + A member proposed to save three dollars a day to the nation by dispensing + with the Chaplain. And yet that short-sighted man needed the Chaplain more + than any other member, perhaps, for he generally sat with his feet on his + desk, eating raw turnips, during the morning prayer. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link191" id="link191"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="191.jpg (99K)" src="images/191.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The legislature sat sixty days, and passed private tollroad franchises all + the time. When they adjourned it was estimated that every citizen owned + about three franchises, and it was believed that unless Congress gave the + Territory another degree of longitude there would not be room enough to + accommodate the toll-roads. The ends of them were hanging over the + boundary line everywhere like a fringe. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link192" id="link192"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="192.jpg (29K)" src="images/192.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The fact is, the freighting business had grown to such important + proportions that there was nearly as much excitement over suddenly + acquired toll-road fortunes as over the wonderful silver mines. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch26" id="linkch26"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + By and by I was smitten with the silver fever. "Prospecting parties" were + leaving for the mountains every day, and discovering and taking possession + of rich silver-bearing lodes and ledges of quartz. Plainly this was the + road to fortune. The great "Gould and Curry" mine was held at three or + four hundred dollars a foot when we arrived; but in two months it had + sprung up to eight hundred. The "Ophir" had been worth only a mere trifle, + a year gone by, and now it was selling at nearly four thousand dollars a + foot! Not a mine could be named that had not experienced an astonishing + advance in value within a short time. Everybody was talking about these + marvels. Go where you would, you heard nothing else, from morning till far + into the night. Tom So-and-So had sold out of the "Amanda Smith" for + $40,000—hadn't a cent when he "took up" the ledge six months ago. + John Jones had sold half his interest in the "Bald Eagle and Mary Ann" for + $65,000, gold coin, and gone to the States for his family. The widow + Brewster had "struck it rich" in the "Golden Fleece" and sold ten feet for + $18,000—hadn't money enough to buy a crape bonnet when Sing-Sing + Tommy killed her husband at Baldy Johnson's wake last spring. The "Last + Chance" had found a "clay casing" and knew they were "right on the ledge"—consequence, + "feet" that went begging yesterday were worth a brick house apiece to-day, + and seedy owners who could not get trusted for a drink at any bar in the + country yesterday were roaring drunk on champagne to-day and had hosts of + warm personal friends in a town where they had forgotten how to bow or + shake hands from long-continued want of practice. Johnny Morgan, a common + loafer, had gone to sleep in the gutter and waked up worth a hundred + thousand dollars, in consequence of the decision in the "Lady Franklin and + Rough and Ready" lawsuit. And so on—day in and day out the talk + pelted our ears and the excitement waxed hotter and hotter around us. + </p> + <p> + I would have been more or less than human if I had not gone mad like the + rest. Cart-loads of solid silver bricks, as large as pigs of lead, were + arriving from the mills every day, and such sights as that gave substance + to the wild talk about me. I succumbed and grew as frenzied as the + craziest. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link194" id="link194"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="194.jpg (65K)" src="images/194.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Every few days news would come of the discovery of a bran-new mining + region; immediately the papers would teem with accounts of its richness, + and away the surplus population would scamper to take possession. By the + time I was fairly inoculated with the disease, "Esmeralda" had just had a + run and "Humboldt" was beginning to shriek for attention. "Humboldt! + Humboldt!" was the new cry, and straightway Humboldt, the newest of the + new, the richest of the rich, the most marvellous of the marvellous + discoveries in silver-land was occupying two columns of the public prints + to "Esmeralda's" one. I was just on the point of starting to Esmeralda, + but turned with the tide and got ready for Humboldt. That the reader may + see what moved me, and what would as surely have moved him had he been + there, I insert here one of the newspaper letters of the day. It and + several other letters from the same calm hand were the main means of + converting me. I shall not garble the extract, but put it in just as it + appeared in the Daily Territorial Enterprise: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + But what about our mines? I shall be candid with you. I shall express an + honest opinion, based upon a thorough examination. Humboldt county is + the richest mineral region upon God's footstool. Each mountain range is + gorged with the precious ores. Humboldt is the true Golconda. + </p> + <p> + The other day an assay of mere croppings yielded exceeding four thousand + dollars to the ton. A week or two ago an assay of just such surface + developments made returns of seven thousand dollars to the ton. Our + mountains are full of rambling prospectors. Each day and almost every + hour reveals new and more startling evidences of the profuse and + intensified wealth of our favored county. The metal is not silver alone. + There are distinct ledges of auriferous ore. A late discovery plainly + evinces cinnabar. The coarser metals are in gross abundance. Lately + evidences of bituminous coal have been detected. My theory has ever been + that coal is a ligneous formation. I told Col. Whitman, in times past, + that the neighborhood of Dayton (Nevada) betrayed no present or previous + manifestations of a ligneous foundation, and that hence I had no + confidence in his lauded coal mines. I repeated the same doctrine to the + exultant coal discoverers of Humboldt. I talked with my friend Captain + Burch on the subject. My pyrhanism vanished upon his statement that in + the very region referred to he had seen petrified trees of the length of + two hundred feet. Then is the fact established that huge forests once + cast their grim shadows over this remote section. I am firm in the coal + faith. Have no fears of the mineral resources of Humboldt county. They + are immense—incalculable. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Let me state one or two things which will help the reader to better + comprehend certain items in the above. At this time, our near neighbor, + Gold Hill, was the most successful silver mining locality in Nevada. It + was from there that more than half the daily shipments of silver bricks + came. "Very rich" (and scarce) Gold Hill ore yielded from $100 to $400 to + the ton; but the usual yield was only $20 to $40 per ton—that is to + say, each hundred pounds of ore yielded from one dollar to two dollars. + But the reader will perceive by the above extract, that in Humboldt from + one fourth to nearly half the mass was silver! That is to say, every one + hundred pounds of the ore had from two hundred dollars up to about three + hundred and fifty in it. Some days later this same correspondent wrote: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + I have spoken of the vast and almost fabulous wealth of this region—it + is incredible. The intestines of our mountains are gorged with precious + ore to plethora. I have said that nature has so shaped our mountains as + to furnish most excellent facilities for the working of our mines. I + have also told you that the country about here is pregnant with the + finest mill sites in the world. But what is the mining history of + Humboldt? The Sheba mine is in the hands of energetic San Francisco + capitalists. It would seem that the ore is combined with metals that + render it difficult of reduction with our imperfect mountain machinery. + The proprietors have combined the capital and labor hinted at in my + exordium. They are toiling and probing. Their tunnel has reached the + length of one hundred feet. From primal assays alone, coupled with the + development of the mine and public confidence in the continuance of + effort, the stock had reared itself to eight hundred dollars market + value. I do not know that one ton of the ore has been converted into + current metal. I do know that there are many lodes in this section that + surpass the Sheba in primal assay value. Listen a moment to the + calculations of the Sheba operators. They purpose transporting the ore + concentrated to Europe. The conveyance from Star City (its locality) to + Virginia City will cost seventy dollars per ton; from Virginia to San + Francisco, forty dollars per ton; from thence to Liverpool, its + destination, ten dollars per ton. Their idea is that its conglomerate + metals will reimburse them their cost of original extraction, the price + of transportation, and the expense of reduction, and that then a ton of + the raw ore will net them twelve hundred dollars. The estimate may be + extravagant. Cut it in twain, and the product is enormous, far + transcending any previous developments of our racy Territory. + </p> + <p> + A very common calculation is that many of our mines will yield five + hundred dollars to the ton. Such fecundity throws the Gould & Curry, + the Ophir and the Mexican, of your neighborhood, in the darkest shadow. + I have given you the estimate of the value of a single developed mine. + Its richness is indexed by its market valuation. The people of Humboldt + county are feet crazy. As I write, our towns are near deserted. They + look as languid as a consumptive girl. What has become of our sinewy and + athletic fellow-citizens? They are coursing through ravines and over + mountain tops. Their tracks are visible in every direction. Occasionally + a horseman will dash among us. His steed betrays hard usage. He alights + before his adobe dwelling, hastily exchanges courtesies with his + townsmen, hurries to an assay office and from thence to the District + Recorder's. In the morning, having renewed his provisional supplies, he + is off again on his wild and unbeaten route. Why, the fellow numbers + already his feet by the thousands. He is the horse-leech. He has the + craving stomach of the shark or anaconda. He would conquer metallic + worlds. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link196" id="link196"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="196.jpg (187K)" src="images/196.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + This was enough. The instant we had finished reading the above article, + four of us decided to go to Humboldt. We commenced getting ready at once. + And we also commenced upbraiding ourselves for not deciding sooner—for + we were in terror lest all the rich mines would be found and secured + before we got there, and we might have to put up with ledges that would + not yield more than two or three hundred dollars a ton, maybe. An hour + before, I would have felt opulent if I had owned ten feet in a Gold Hill + mine whose ore produced twenty-five dollars to the ton; now I was already + annoyed at the prospect of having to put up with mines the poorest of + which would be a marvel in Gold Hill. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch27" id="linkch27"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Hurry, was the word! We wasted no time. Our party consisted of four + persons—a blacksmith sixty years of age, two young lawyers, and + myself. We bought a wagon and two miserable old horses. We put eighteen + hundred pounds of provisions and mining tools in the wagon and drove out + of Carson on a chilly December afternoon. The horses were so weak and old + that we soon found that it would be better if one or two of us got out and + walked. It was an improvement. Next, we found that it would be better if a + third man got out. That was an improvement also. It was at this time that + I volunteered to drive, although I had never driven a harnessed horse + before and many a man in such a position would have felt fairly excused + from such a responsibility. But in a little while it was found that it + would be a fine thing if the drive got out and walked also. It was at this + time that I resigned the position of driver, and never resumed it again. + Within the hour, we found that it would not only be better, but was + absolutely necessary, that we four, taking turns, two at a time, should + put our hands against the end of the wagon and push it through the sand, + leaving the feeble horses little to do but keep out of the way and hold up + the tongue. Perhaps it is well for one to know his fate at first, and get + reconciled to it. We had learned ours in one afternoon. It was plain that + we had to walk through the sand and shove that wagon and those horses two + hundred miles. So we accepted the situation, and from that time forth we + never rode. More than that, we stood regular and nearly constant watches + pushing up behind. + </p> + <p> + We made seven miles, and camped in the desert. Young Clagett (now member + of Congress from Montana) unharnessed and fed and watered the horses; + Oliphant and I cut sagebrush, built the fire and brought water to cook + with; and old Mr. Ballou the blacksmith did the cooking. This division of + labor, and this appointment, was adhered to throughout the journey. We had + no tent, and so we slept under our blankets in the open plain. We were so + tired that we slept soundly. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link199" id="link199"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="199.jpg (54K)" src="images/199.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We were fifteen days making the trip—two hundred miles; thirteen, + rather, for we lay by a couple of days, in one place, to let the horses + rest. + </p> + <p> + We could really have accomplished the journey in ten days if we had towed + the horses behind the wagon, but we did not think of that until it was too + late, and so went on shoving the horses and the wagon too when we might + have saved half the labor. Parties who met us, occasionally, advised us to + put the horses in the wagon, but Mr. Ballou, through whose iron-clad + earnestness no sarcasm could pierce, said that that would not do, because + the provisions were exposed and would suffer, the horses being "bituminous + from long deprivation." The reader will excuse me from translating. What + Mr. Ballou customarily meant, when he used a long word, was a secret + between himself and his Maker. He was one of the best and kindest hearted + men that ever graced a humble sphere of life. He was gentleness and + simplicity itself—and unselfishness, too. Although he was more than + twice as old as the eldest of us, he never gave himself any airs, + privileges, or exemptions on that account. He did a young man's share of + the work; and did his share of conversing and entertaining from the + general stand-point of any age—not from the arrogant, overawing + summit-height of sixty years. His one striking peculiarity was his + Partingtonian fashion of loving and using big words for their own sakes, + and independent of any bearing they might have upon the thought he was + purposing to convey. He always let his ponderous syllables fall with an + easy unconsciousness that left them wholly without offensiveness. In truth + his air was so natural and so simple that one was always catching himself + accepting his stately sentences as meaning something, when they really + meant nothing in the world. If a word was long and grand and resonant, + that was sufficient to win the old man's love, and he would drop that word + into the most out-of-the-way place in a sentence or a subject, and be as + pleased with it as if it were perfectly luminous with meaning. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link201" id="link201"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="201.jpg (62K)" src="images/201.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We four always spread our common stock of blankets together on the frozen + ground, and slept side by side; and finding that our foolish, long-legged + hound pup had a deal of animal heat in him, Oliphant got to admitting him + to the bed, between himself and Mr. Ballou, hugging the dog's warm back to + his breast and finding great comfort in it. But in the night the pup would + get stretchy and brace his feet against the old man's back and shove, + grunting complacently the while; and now and then, being warm and snug, + grateful and happy, he would paw the old man's back simply in excess of + comfort; and at yet other times he would dream of the chase and in his + sleep tug at the old man's back hair and bark in his ear. The old + gentleman complained mildly about these familiarities, at last, and when + he got through with his statement he said that such a dog as that was not + a proper animal to admit to bed with tired men, because he was "so + meretricious in his movements and so organic in his emotions." We turned + the dog out. + </p> + <p> + It was a hard, wearing, toilsome journey, but it had its bright side; for + after each day was done and our wolfish hunger appeased with a hot supper + of fried bacon, bread, molasses and black coffee, the pipe-smoking, song- + singing and yarn-spinning around the evening camp-fire in the still + solitudes of the desert was a happy, care-free sort of recreation that + seemed the very summit and culmination of earthly luxury. + </p> + <p> + It is a kind of life that has a potent charm for all men, whether city or + country-bred. We are descended from desert-lounging Arabs, and countless + ages of growth toward perfect civilization have failed to root out of us + the nomadic instinct. We all confess to a gratified thrill at the thought + of "camping out." + </p> + <p> + Once we made twenty-five miles in a day, and once we made forty miles + (through the Great American Desert), and ten miles beyond—fifty in + all—in twenty-three hours, without halting to eat, drink or rest. To + stretch out and go to sleep, even on stony and frozen ground, after + pushing a wagon and two horses fifty miles, is a delight so supreme that + for the moment it almost seems cheap at the price. + </p> + <p> + We camped two days in the neighborhood of the "Sink of the Humboldt." We + tried to use the strong alkaline water of the Sink, but it would not + answer. It was like drinking lye, and not weak lye, either. It left a + taste in the mouth, bitter and every way execrable, and a burning in the + stomach that was very uncomfortable. We put molasses in it, but that + helped it very little; we added a pickle, yet the alkali was the prominent + taste and so it was unfit for drinking. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link202" id="link202"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="205.jpg (58K)" src="images/205.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The coffee we made of this water was the meanest compound man has yet + invented. It was really viler to the taste than the unameliorated water + itself. Mr. Ballou, being the architect and builder of the beverage felt + constrained to endorse and uphold it, and so drank half a cup, by little + sips, making shift to praise it faintly the while, but finally threw out + the remainder, and said frankly it was "too technical for him." + </p> + <p> + But presently we found a spring of fresh water, convenient, and then, with + nothing to mar our enjoyment, and no stragglers to interrupt it, we + entered into our rest. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch28" id="linkch28"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + After leaving the Sink, we traveled along the Humboldt river a little way. + People accustomed to the monster mile-wide Mississippi, grow accustomed to + associating the term "river" with a high degree of watery grandeur. + Consequently, such people feel rather disappointed when they stand on the + shores of the Humboldt or the Carson and find that a "river" in Nevada is + a sickly rivulet which is just the counterpart of the Erie canal in all + respects save that the canal is twice as long and four times as deep. One + of the pleasantest and most invigorating exercises one can contrive is to + run and jump across the Humboldt river till he is overheated, and then + drink it dry. + </p> + <p> + On the fifteenth day we completed our march of two hundred miles and + entered Unionville, Humboldt county, in the midst of a driving snow- + storm. Unionville consisted of eleven cabins and a liberty-pole. Six of + the cabins were strung along one side of a deep canyon, and the other five + faced them. The rest of the landscape was made up of bleak mountain walls + that rose so high into the sky from both sides of the canyon that the + village was left, as it were, far down in the bottom of a crevice. It was + always daylight on the mountain tops a long time before the darkness + lifted and revealed Unionville. + </p> + <p> + We built a small, rude cabin in the side of the crevice and roofed it with + canvas, leaving a corner open to serve as a chimney, through which the + cattle used to tumble occasionally, at night, and mash our furniture and + interrupt our sleep. It was very cold weather and fuel was scarce. Indians + brought brush and bushes several miles on their backs; and when we could + catch a laden Indian it was well—and when we could not (which was + the rule, not the exception), we shivered and bore it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link205" id="link205"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="205.jpg (58K)" src="images/205.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I confess, without shame, that I expected to find masses of silver lying + all about the ground. I expected to see it glittering in the sun on the + mountain summits. I said nothing about this, for some instinct told me + that I might possibly have an exaggerated idea about it, and so if I + betrayed my thought I might bring derision upon myself. Yet I was as + perfectly satisfied in my own mind as I could be of anything, that I was + going to gather up, in a day or two, or at furthest a week or two, silver + enough to make me satisfactorily wealthy—and so my fancy was already + busy with plans for spending this money. The first opportunity that + offered, I sauntered carelessly away from the cabin, keeping an eye on the + other boys, and stopping and contemplating the sky when they seemed to be + observing me; but as soon as the coast was manifestly clear, I fled away + as guiltily as a thief might have done and never halted till I was far + beyond sight and call. Then I began my search with a feverish excitement + that was brimful of expectation—almost of certainty. I crawled about + the ground, seizing and examining bits of stone, blowing the dust from + them or rubbing them on my clothes, and then peering at them with anxious + hope. Presently I found a bright fragment and my heart bounded! I hid + behind a boulder and polished it and scrutinized it with a nervous + eagerness and a delight that was more pronounced than absolute certainty + itself could have afforded. The more I examined the fragment the more I + was convinced that I had found the door to fortune. I marked the spot and + carried away my specimen. Up and down the rugged mountain side I searched, + with always increasing interest and always augmenting gratitude that I had + come to Humboldt and come in time. Of all the experiences of my life, this + secret search among the hidden treasures of silver-land was the nearest to + unmarred ecstasy. It was a delirious revel. + </p> + <p> + By and by, in the bed of a shallow rivulet, I found a deposit of shining + yellow scales, and my breath almost forsook me! A gold mine, and in my + simplicity I had been content with vulgar silver! I was so excited that I + half believed my overwrought imagination was deceiving me. Then a fear + came upon me that people might be observing me and would guess my secret. + Moved by this thought, I made a circuit of the place, and ascended a knoll + to reconnoiter. Solitude. No creature was near. Then I returned to my + mine, fortifying myself against possible disappointment, but my fears were + groundless—the shining scales were still there. I set about scooping + them out, and for an hour I toiled down the windings of the stream and + robbed its bed. But at last the descending sun warned me to give up the + quest, and I turned homeward laden with wealth. As I walked along I could + not help smiling at the thought of my being so excited over my fragment of + silver when a nobler metal was almost under my nose. In this little time + the former had so fallen in my estimation that once or twice I was on the + point of throwing it away. + </p> + <p> + The boys were as hungry as usual, but I could eat nothing. Neither could I + talk. I was full of dreams and far away. Their conversation interrupted + the flow of my fancy somewhat, and annoyed me a little, too. I despised + the sordid and commonplace things they talked about. But as they + proceeded, it began to amuse me. It grew to be rare fun to hear them + planning their poor little economies and sighing over possible privations + and distresses when a gold mine, all our own, lay within sight of the + cabin and I could point it out at any moment. Smothered hilarity began to + oppress me, presently. It was hard to resist the impulse to burst out with + exultation and reveal everything; but I did resist. I said within myself + that I would filter the great news through my lips calmly and be serene as + a summer morning while I watched its effect in their faces. I said: + </p> + <p> + "Where have you all been?" + </p> + <p> + "Prospecting." + </p> + <p> + "What did you find?" + </p> + <p> + "Nothing." + </p> + <p> + "Nothing? What do you think of the country?" + </p> + <p> + "Can't tell, yet," said Mr. Ballou, who was an old gold miner, and had + likewise had considerable experience among the silver mines. + </p> + <p> + "Well, haven't you formed any sort of opinion?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, a sort of a one. It's fair enough here, may be, but overrated. Seven + thousand dollar ledges are scarce, though. + </p> + <p> + "That Sheba may be rich enough, but we don't own it; and besides, the rock + is so full of base metals that all the science in the world can't work it. + We'll not starve, here, but we'll not get rich, I'm afraid." + </p> + <p> + "So you think the prospect is pretty poor?" + </p> + <p> + "No name for it!" + </p> + <p> + "Well, we'd better go back, hadn't we?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, not yet—of course not. We'll try it a riffle, first." + </p> + <p> + "Suppose, now—this is merely a supposition, you know—suppose + you could find a ledge that would yield, say, a hundred and fifty dollars + a ton—would that satisfy you?" + </p> + <p> + "Try us once!" from the whole party. + </p> + <p> + "Or suppose—merely a supposition, of course—suppose you were + to find a ledge that would yield two thousand dollars a ton—would + that satisfy you?" + </p> + <p> + "Here—what do you mean? What are you coming at? Is there some + mystery behind all this?" + </p> + <p> + "Never mind. I am not saying anything. You know perfectly well there are + no rich mines here—of course you do. Because you have been around + and examined for yourselves. Anybody would know that, that had been + around. But just for the sake of argument, suppose—in a kind of + general way—suppose some person were to tell you that + two-thousand-dollar ledges were simply contemptible—contemptible, + understand—and that right yonder in sight of this very cabin there + were piles of pure gold and pure silver—oceans of it—enough to + make you all rich in twenty-four hours! Come!" + </p> + <p> + "I should say he was as crazy as a loon!" said old Ballou, but wild with + excitement, nevertheless. + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen," said I, "I don't say anything—I haven't been around, + you know, and of course don't know anything—but all I ask of you is + to cast your eye on that, for instance, and tell me what you think of it!" + and I tossed my treasure before them. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link207" id="link207"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="207.jpg (92K)" src="images/207.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + There was an eager scramble for it, and a closing of heads together over + it under the candle-light. Then old Ballou said: + </p> + <p> + "Think of it? I think it is nothing but a lot of granite rubbish and nasty + glittering mica that isn't worth ten cents an acre!" + </p> + <p> + So vanished my dream. So melted my wealth away. So toppled my airy castle + to the earth and left me stricken and forlorn. + </p> + <p> + Moralizing, I observed, then, that "all that glitters is not gold." + </p> + <p> + Mr. Ballou said I could go further than that, and lay it up among my + treasures of knowledge, that nothing that glitters is gold. So I learned + then, once for all, that gold in its native state is but dull, + unornamental stuff, and that only low-born metals excite the admiration of + the ignorant with an ostentatious glitter. However, like the rest of the + world, I still go on underrating men of gold and glorifying men of mica. + Commonplace human nature cannot rise above that. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch29" id="linkch29"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + True knowledge of the nature of silver mining came fast enough. We went + out "prospecting" with Mr. Ballou. We climbed the mountain sides, and + clambered among sage-brush, rocks and snow till we were ready to drop with + exhaustion, but found no silver—nor yet any gold. Day after day we + did this. Now and then we came upon holes burrowed a few feet into the + declivities and apparently abandoned; and now and then we found one or two + listless men still burrowing. But there was no appearance of silver. These + holes were the beginnings of tunnels, and the purpose was to drive them + hundreds of feet into the mountain, and some day tap the hidden ledge + where the silver was. Some day! It seemed far enough away, and very + hopeless and dreary. Day after day we toiled, and climbed and searched, + and we younger partners grew sicker and still sicker of the promiseless + toil. At last we halted under a beetling rampart of rock which projected + from the earth high upon the mountain. Mr. Ballou broke off some fragments + with a hammer, and examined them long and attentively with a small + eye-glass; threw them away and broke off more; said this rock was quartz, + and quartz was the sort of rock that contained silver. Contained it! I had + thought that at least it would be caked on the outside of it like a kind + of veneering. He still broke off pieces and critically examined them, now + and then wetting the piece with his tongue and applying the glass. At last + he exclaimed: + </p> + <p> + "We've got it!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link210" id="link210"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="210.jpg (74K)" src="images/210.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We were full of anxiety in a moment. The rock was clean and white, where + it was broken, and across it ran a ragged thread of blue. He said that + that little thread had silver in it, mixed with base metal, such as lead + and antimony, and other rubbish, and that there was a speck or two of gold + visible. After a great deal of effort we managed to discern some little + fine yellow specks, and judged that a couple of tons of them massed + together might make a gold dollar, possibly. We were not jubilant, but Mr. + Ballou said there were worse ledges in the world than that. He saved what + he called the "richest" piece of the rock, in order to determine its value + by the process called the "fire-assay." Then we named the mine "Monarch of + the Mountains" (modesty of nomenclature is not a prominent feature in the + mines), and Mr. Ballou wrote out and stuck up the following "notice," + preserving a copy to be entered upon the books in the mining recorder's + office in the town. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "NOTICE." + </p> + <p> + "We the undersigned claim three claims, of three hundred feet each (and + one for discovery), on this silver-bearing quartz lead or lode, + extending north and south from this notice, with all its dips, spurs, + and angles, variations and sinuosities, together with fifty feet of + ground on either side for working the same." + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + We put our names to it and tried to feel that our fortunes were made. But + when we talked the matter all over with Mr. Ballou, we felt depressed and + dubious. He said that this surface quartz was not all there was of our + mine; but that the wall or ledge of rock called the "Monarch of the + Mountains," extended down hundreds and hundreds of feet into the earth—he + illustrated by saying it was like a curb-stone, and maintained a nearly + uniform thickness-say twenty feet—away down into the bowels of the + earth, and was perfectly distinct from the casing rock on each side of it; + and that it kept to itself, and maintained its distinctive character + always, no matter how deep it extended into the earth or how far it + stretched itself through and across the hills and valleys. He said it + might be a mile deep and ten miles long, for all we knew; and that + wherever we bored into it above ground or below, we would find gold and + silver in it, but no gold or silver in the meaner rock it was cased + between. And he said that down in the great depths of the ledge was its + richness, and the deeper it went the richer it grew. Therefore, instead of + working here on the surface, we must either bore down into the rock with a + shaft till we came to where it was rich—say a hundred feet or so—or + else we must go down into the valley and bore a long tunnel into the + mountain side and tap the ledge far under the earth. To do either was + plainly the labor of months; for we could blast and bore only a few feet a + day—some five or six. But this was not all. He said that after we + got the ore out it must be hauled in wagons to a distant silver-mill, + ground up, and the silver extracted by a tedious and costly process. Our + fortune seemed a century away! + </p> + <p> + But we went to work. We decided to sink a shaft. So, for a week we climbed + the mountain, laden with picks, drills, gads, crowbars, shovels, cans of + blasting powder and coils of fuse and strove with might and main. At first + the rock was broken and loose and we dug it up with picks and threw it out + with shovels, and the hole progressed very well. But the rock became more + compact, presently, and gads and crowbars came into play. But shortly + nothing could make an impression but blasting powder. + </p> + <p> + That was the weariest work! One of us held the iron drill in its place and + another would strike with an eight-pound sledge—it was like driving + nails on a large scale. In the course of an hour or two the drill would + reach a depth of two or three feet, making a hole a couple of inches in + diameter. We would put in a charge of powder, insert half a yard of fuse, + pour in sand and gravel and ram it down, then light the fuse and run. When + the explosion came and the rocks and smoke shot into the air, we would go + back and find about a bushel of that hard, rebellious quartz jolted out. + Nothing more. One week of this satisfied me. I resigned. Clagget and + Oliphant followed. Our shaft was only twelve feet deep. We decided that a + tunnel was the thing we wanted. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link212" id="link212"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="212.jpg (89K)" src="images/212.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + So we went down the mountain side and worked a week; at the end of which + time we had blasted a tunnel about deep enough to hide a hogshead in, and + judged that about nine hundred feet more of it would reach the ledge. I + resigned again, and the other boys only held out one day longer. We + decided that a tunnel was not what we wanted. We wanted a ledge that was + already "developed." There were none in the camp. + </p> + <p> + We dropped the "Monarch" for the time being. + </p> + <p> + Meantime the camp was filling up with people, and there was a constantly + growing excitement about our Humboldt mines. We fell victims to the + epidemic and strained every nerve to acquire more "feet." We prospected + and took up new claims, put "notices" on them and gave them grandiloquent + names. We traded some of our "feet" for "feet" in other people's claims. + In a little while we owned largely in the "Gray Eagle," the "Columbiana," + the "Branch Mint," the "Maria Jane," the "Universe," the "Root-Hog-or- + Die," the "Samson and Delilah," the "Treasure Trove," the "Golconda," the + "Sultana," the "Boomerang," the "Great Republic," the "Grand Mogul," and + fifty other "mines" that had never been molested by a shovel or scratched + with a pick. We had not less than thirty thousand "feet" apiece in the + "richest mines on earth" as the frenzied cant phrased it—and were in + debt to the butcher. We were stark mad with excitement—drunk with + happiness—smothered under mountains of prospective wealth—arrogantly + compassionate toward the plodding millions who knew not our marvellous + canyon—but our credit was not good at the grocer's. + </p> + <p> + It was the strangest phase of life one can imagine. It was a beggars' + revel. There was nothing doing in the district—no mining—no + milling—no productive effort—no income—and not enough + money in the entire camp to buy a corner lot in an eastern village, + hardly; and yet a stranger would have supposed he was walking among + bloated millionaires. Prospecting parties swarmed out of town with the + first flush of dawn, and swarmed in again at nightfall laden with spoil—rocks. + Nothing but rocks. Every man's pockets were full of them; the floor of his + cabin was littered with them; they were disposed in labeled rows on his + shelves. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link214" id="link214"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="214.jpg (51K)" src="images/214.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch30" id="linkch30"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I met men at every turn who owned from one thousand to thirty thousand + "feet" in undeveloped silver mines, every single foot of which they + believed would shortly be worth from fifty to a thousand dollars—and + as often as any other way they were men who had not twenty-five dollars in + the world. Every man you met had his new mine to boast of, and his + "specimens" ready; and if the opportunity offered, he would infallibly + back you into a corner and offer as a favor to you, not to him, to part + with just a few feet in the "Golden Age," or the "Sarah Jane," or some + other unknown stack of croppings, for money enough to get a "square meal" + with, as the phrase went. And you were never to reveal that he had made + you the offer at such a ruinous price, for it was only out of friendship + for you that he was willing to make the sacrifice. Then he would fish a + piece of rock out of his pocket, and after looking mysteriously around as + if he feared he might be waylaid and robbed if caught with such wealth in + his possession, he would dab the rock against his tongue, clap an eyeglass + to it, and exclaim: + </p> + <p> + "Look at that! Right there in that red dirt! See it? See the specks of + gold? And the streak of silver? That's from the Uncle Abe. There's a + hundred thousand tons like that in sight! Right in sight, mind you! And + when we get down on it and the ledge comes in solid, it will be the + richest thing in the world! Look at the assay! I don't want you to believe + me—look at the assay!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link216" id="link216"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="216.jpg (63K)" src="images/216.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Then he would get out a greasy sheet of paper which showed that the + portion of rock assayed had given evidence of containing silver and gold + in the proportion of so many hundreds or thousands of dollars to the ton. + </p> + <p> + I little knew, then, that the custom was to hunt out the richest piece of + rock and get it assayed! Very often, that piece, the size of a filbert, + was the only fragment in a ton that had a particle of metal in it—and + yet the assay made it pretend to represent the average value of the ton of + rubbish it came from! + </p> + <p> + On such a system of assaying as that, the Humboldt world had gone crazy. + On the authority of such assays its newspaper correspondents were frothing + about rock worth four and seven thousand dollars a ton! + </p> + <p> + And does the reader remember, a few pages back, the calculations, of a + quoted correspondent, whereby the ore is to be mined and shipped all the + way to England, the metals extracted, and the gold and silver contents + received back by the miners as clear profit, the copper, antimony and + other things in the ore being sufficient to pay all the expenses incurred? + Everybody's head was full of such "calculations" as those—such + raving insanity, rather. Few people took work into their calculations—or + outlay of money either; except the work and expenditures of other people. + </p> + <p> + We never touched our tunnel or our shaft again. Why? Because we judged + that we had learned the real secret of success in silver mining—which + was, not to mine the silver ourselves by the sweat of our brows and the + labor of our hands, but to sell the ledges to the dull slaves of toil and + let them do the mining! + </p> + <p> + Before leaving Carson, the Secretary and I had purchased "feet" from + various Esmeralda stragglers. We had expected immediate returns of + bullion, but were only afflicted with regular and constant "assessments" + instead—demands for money wherewith to develop the said mines. These + assessments had grown so oppressive that it seemed necessary to look into + the matter personally. Therefore I projected a pilgrimage to Carson and + thence to Esmeralda. I bought a horse and started, in company with Mr. + Ballou and a gentleman named Ollendorff, a Prussian—not the party + who has inflicted so much suffering on the world with his wretched foreign + grammars, with their interminable repetitions of questions which never + have occurred and are never likely to occur in any conversation among + human beings. We rode through a snow-storm for two or three days, and + arrived at "Honey Lake Smith's," a sort of isolated inn on the Carson + river. It was a two-story log house situated on a small knoll in the midst + of the vast basin or desert through which the sickly Carson winds its + melancholy way. Close to the house were the Overland stage stables, built + of sun-dried bricks. There was not another building within several leagues + of the place. Towards sunset about twenty hay-wagons arrived and camped + around the house and all the teamsters came in to supper—a very, + very rough set. There were one or two Overland stage drivers there, also, + and half a dozen vagabonds and stragglers; consequently the house was well + crowded. + </p> + <p> + We walked out, after supper, and visited a small Indian camp in the + vicinity. The Indians were in a great hurry about something, and were + packing up and getting away as fast as they could. In their broken English + they said, "By'm-by, heap water!" and by the help of signs made us + understand that in their opinion a flood was coming. The weather was + perfectly clear, and this was not the rainy season. There was about a foot + of water in the insignificant river—or maybe two feet; the stream + was not wider than a back alley in a village, and its banks were scarcely + higher than a man's head. + </p> + <p> + So, where was the flood to come from? We canvassed the subject awhile and + then concluded it was a ruse, and that the Indians had some better reason + for leaving in a hurry than fears of a flood in such an exceedingly dry + time. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link218" id="link218"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="218.jpg (37K)" src="images/218.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + At seven in the evening we went to bed in the second story—with our + clothes on, as usual, and all three in the same bed, for every available + space on the floors, chairs, etc., was in request, and even then there was + barely room for the housing of the inn's guests. An hour later we were + awakened by a great turmoil, and springing out of bed we picked our way + nimbly among the ranks of snoring teamsters on the floor and got to the + front windows of the long room. A glance revealed a strange spectacle, + under the moonlight. The crooked Carson was full to the brim, and its + waters were raging and foaming in the wildest way—sweeping around + the sharp bends at a furious speed, and bearing on their surface a chaos + of logs, brush and all sorts of rubbish. A depression, where its bed had + once been, in other times, was already filling, and in one or two places + the water was beginning to wash over the main bank. Men were flying hither + and thither, bringing cattle and wagons close up to the house, for the + spot of high ground on which it stood extended only some thirty feet in + front and about a hundred in the rear. Close to the old river bed just + spoken of, stood a little log stable, and in this our horses were lodged. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link219" id="link219"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="219.jpg (173K)" src="images/219.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + While we looked, the waters increased so fast in this place that in a few + minutes a torrent was roaring by the little stable and its margin + encroaching steadily on the logs. We suddenly realized that this flood was + not a mere holiday spectacle, but meant damage—and not only to the + small log stable but to the Overland buildings close to the main river, + for the waves had now come ashore and were creeping about the foundations + and invading the great hay-corral adjoining. We ran down and joined the + crowd of excited men and frightened animals. We waded knee-deep into the + log stable, unfastened the horses and waded out almost waist-deep, so fast + the waters increased. Then the crowd rushed in a body to the hay- corral + and began to tumble down the huge stacks of baled hay and roll the bales + up on the high ground by the house. Meantime it was discovered that Owens, + an overland driver, was missing, and a man ran to the large stable, and + wading in, boot-top deep, discovered him asleep in his bed, awoke him, and + waded out again. But Owens was drowsy and resumed his nap; but only for a + minute or two, for presently he turned in his bed, his hand dropped over + the side and came in contact with the cold water! It was up level with the + mattress! He waded out, breast-deep, almost, and the next moment the + sun-burned bricks melted down like sugar and the big building crumbled to + a ruin and was washed away in a twinkling. + </p> + <p> + At eleven o'clock only the roof of the little log stable was out of water, + and our inn was on an island in mid-ocean. As far as the eye could reach, + in the moonlight, there was no desert visible, but only a level waste of + shining water. The Indians were true prophets, but how did they get their + information? I am not able to answer the question. We remained cooped up + eight days and nights with that curious crew. Swearing, drinking and card + playing were the order of the day, and occasionally a fight was thrown in + for variety. Dirt and vermin—but let us forget those features; their + profusion is simply inconceivable—it is better that they remain so. + </p> + <p> + There were two men——however, this chapter is long enough. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> <a name="linkch31" id="linkch31"></a> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + There were two men in the company who caused me particular discomfort. One + was a little Swede, about twenty-five years old, who knew only one song, + and he was forever singing it. By day we were all crowded into one small, + stifling bar-room, and so there was no escaping this person's music. + Through all the profanity, whisky-guzzling, "old sledge" and quarreling, + his monotonous song meandered with never a variation in its tiresome + sameness, and it seemed to me, at last, that I would be content to die, in + order to be rid of the torture. The other man was a stalwart ruffian + called "Arkansas," who carried two revolvers in his belt and a bowie knife + projecting from his boot, and who was always drunk and always suffering + for a fight. But he was so feared, that nobody would accommodate him. He + would try all manner of little wary ruses to entrap somebody into an + offensive remark, and his face would light up now and then when he fancied + he was fairly on the scent of a fight, but invariably his victim would + elude his toils and then he would show a disappointment that was almost + pathetic. The landlord, Johnson, was a meek, well-meaning fellow, and + Arkansas fastened on him early, as a promising subject, and gave him no + rest day or night, for awhile. On the fourth morning, Arkansas got drunk + and sat himself down to wait for an opportunity. Presently Johnson came + in, just comfortably sociable with whisky, and said: + </p> + <p> + "I reckon the Pennsylvania 'lection—" + </p> + <p> + Arkansas raised his finger impressively and Johnson stopped. Arkansas rose + unsteadily and confronted him. Said he: + </p> + <p> + "Wha-what do you know a—about Pennsylvania? Answer me that. Wha—what + do you know 'bout Pennsylvania?" + </p> + <p> + "I was only goin' to say—" + </p> + <p> + "You was only goin' to say. You was! You was only goin' to say—what + was you goin' to say? That's it! That's what I want to know. I want to + know wha—what you ('ic) what you know about Pennsylvania, since + you're makin' yourself so d—-d free. Answer me that!" + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Arkansas, if you'd only let me—" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link222" id="link222"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="222.jpg (55K)" src="images/222.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Who's a henderin' you? Don't you insinuate nothing agin me!—don't + you do it. Don't you come in here bullyin' around, and cussin' and goin' + on like a lunatic—don't you do it. 'Coz I won't stand it. If fight's + what you want, out with it! I'm your man! Out with it!" + </p> + <p> + Said Johnson, backing into a corner, Arkansas following, menacingly: + </p> + <p> + "Why, I never said nothing, Mr. Arkansas. You don't give a man no chance. + I was only goin' to say that Pennsylvania was goin' to have an election + next week—that was all—that was everything I was goin' to say—I + wish I may never stir if it wasn't." + </p> + <p> + "Well then why d'n't you say it? What did you come swellin' around that + way for, and tryin' to raise trouble?" + </p> + <p> + "Why I didn't come swellin' around, Mr. Arkansas—I just—" + </p> + <p> + "I'm a liar am I! Ger-reat Caesar's ghost—" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, please, Mr. Arkansas, I never meant such a thing as that, I wish I + may die if I did. All the boys will tell you that I've always spoke well + of you, and respected you more'n any man in the house. Ask Smith. Ain't it + so, Smith? Didn't I say, no longer ago than last night, that for a man + that was a gentleman all the time and every way you took him, give me + Arkansas? I'll leave it to any gentleman here if them warn't the very + words I used. Come, now, Mr. Arkansas, le's take a drink—le's shake + hands and take a drink. Come up—everybody! It's my treat. Come up, + Bill, Tom, Bob, Scotty—come up. I want you all to take a drink with + me and Arkansas—old Arkansas, I call him—bully old Arkansas. + Gimme your hand agin. Look at him, boys—just take a look at him. + Thar stands the whitest man in America!—and the man that denies it + has got to fight me, that's all. Gimme that old flipper agin!" + </p> + <p> + They embraced, with drunken affection on the landlord's part and + unresponsive toleration on the part of Arkansas, who, bribed by a drink, + was disappointed of his prey once more. But the foolish landlord was so + happy to have escaped butchery, that he went on talking when he ought to + have marched himself out of danger. The consequence was that Arkansas + shortly began to glower upon him dangerously, and presently said: + </p> + <p> + "Lan'lord, will you p-please make that remark over agin if you please?" + </p> + <p> + "I was a-sayin' to Scotty that my father was up'ards of eighty year old + when he died." + </p> + <p> + "Was that all that you said?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, that was all." + </p> + <p> + "Didn't say nothing but that?" + </p> + <p> + "No—nothing." + </p> + <p> + Then an uncomfortable silence. + </p> + <p> + Arkansas played with his glass a moment, lolling on his elbows on the + counter. Then he meditatively scratched his left shin with his right boot, + while the awkward silence continued. But presently he loafed away toward + the stove, looking dissatisfied; roughly shouldered two or three men out + of a comfortable position; occupied it himself, gave a sleeping dog a kick + that sent him howling under a bench, then spread his long legs and his + blanket-coat tails apart and proceeded to warm his back. In a little while + he fell to grumbling to himself, and soon he slouched back to the bar and + said: + </p> + <p> + "Lan'lord, what's your idea for rakin' up old personalities and blowin' + about your father? Ain't this company agreeable to you? Ain't it? If this + company ain't agreeable to you, p'r'aps we'd better leave. Is that your + idea? Is that what you're coming at?" + </p> + <p> + "Why bless your soul, Arkansas, I warn't thinking of such a thing. My + father and my mother—" + </p> + <p> + "Lan'lord, don't crowd a man! Don't do it. If nothing'll do you but a + disturbance, out with it like a man ('ic)—but don't rake up old + bygones and fling'em in the teeth of a passel of people that wants to be + peaceable if they could git a chance. What's the matter with you this + mornin', anyway? I never see a man carry on so." + </p> + <p> + "Arkansas, I reely didn't mean no harm, and I won't go on with it if it's + onpleasant to you. I reckon my licker's got into my head, and what with + the flood, and havin' so many to feed and look out for—" + </p> + <p> + "So that's what's a-ranklin' in your heart, is it? You want us to leave do + you? There's too many on us. You want us to pack up and swim. Is that it? + Come!" + </p> + <p> + "Please be reasonable, Arkansas. Now you know that I ain't the man to—" + </p> + <p> + "Are you a threatenin' me? Are you? By George, the man don't live that can + skeer me! Don't you try to come that game, my chicken—'cuz I can + stand a good deal, but I won't stand that. Come out from behind that bar + till I clean you! You want to drive us out, do you, you sneakin' + underhanded hound! Come out from behind that bar! I'll learn you to bully + and badger and browbeat a gentleman that's forever trying to befriend you + and keep you out of trouble!" + </p> + <p> + "Please, Arkansas, please don't shoot! If there's got to be bloodshed—" + </p> + <p> + "Do you hear that, gentlemen? Do you hear him talk about bloodshed? So + it's blood you want, is it, you ravin' desperado! You'd made up your mind + to murder somebody this mornin'—I knowed it perfectly well. I'm the + man, am I? It's me you're goin' to murder, is it? But you can't do it + 'thout I get one chance first, you thievin' black-hearted, white- livered + son of a nigger! Draw your weepon!" + </p> + <p> + With that, Arkansas began to shoot, and the landlord to clamber over + benches, men and every sort of obstacle in a frantic desire to escape. In + the midst of the wild hubbub the landlord crashed through a glass door, + and as Arkansas charged after him the landlord's wife suddenly appeared in + the doorway and confronted the desperado with a pair of scissors! Her fury + was magnificent. With head erect and flashing eye she stood a moment and + then advanced, with her weapon raised. The astonished ruffian hesitated, + and then fell back a step. She followed. She backed him step by step into + the middle of the bar-room, and then, while the wondering crowd closed up + and gazed, she gave him such another tongue-lashing as never a cowed and + shamefaced braggart got before, perhaps! As she finished and retired + victorious, a roar of applause shook the house, and every man ordered + "drinks for the crowd" in one and the same breath. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link225" id="link225"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="225.jpg (102K)" src="images/225.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The lesson was entirely sufficient. The reign of terror was over, and the + Arkansas domination broken for good. During the rest of the season of + island captivity, there was one man who sat apart in a state of permanent + humiliation, never mixing in any quarrel or uttering a boast, and never + resenting the insults the once cringing crew now constantly leveled at + him, and that man was "Arkansas." + </p> + <p> + By the fifth or sixth morning the waters had subsided from the land, but + the stream in the old river bed was still high and swift and there was no + possibility of crossing it. On the eighth it was still too high for an + entirely safe passage, but life in the inn had become next to + insupportable by reason of the dirt, drunkenness, fighting, etc., and so + we made an effort to get away. In the midst of a heavy snow-storm we + embarked in a canoe, taking our saddles aboard and towing our horses after + us by their halters. The Prussian, Ollendorff, was in the bow, with a + paddle, Ballou paddled in the middle, and I sat in the stern holding the + halters. When the horses lost their footing and began to swim, Ollendorff + got frightened, for there was great danger that the horses would make our + aim uncertain, and it was plain that if we failed to land at a certain + spot the current would throw us off and almost surely cast us into the + main Carson, which was a boiling torrent, now. Such a catastrophe would be + death, in all probability, for we would be swept to sea in the "Sink" or + overturned and drowned. We warned Ollendorff to keep his wits about him + and handle himself carefully, but it was useless; the moment the bow + touched the bank, he made a spring and the canoe whirled upside down in + ten-foot water. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link227" id="link227"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="227.jpg (95K)" src="images/227.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Ollendorff seized some brush and dragged himself ashore, but Ballou and I + had to swim for it, encumbered with our overcoats. But we held on to the + canoe, and although we were washed down nearly to the Carson, we managed + to push the boat ashore and make a safe landing. We were cold and water- + soaked, but safe. The horses made a landing, too, but our saddles were + gone, of course. We tied the animals in the sage-brush and there they had + to stay for twenty-four hours. We baled out the canoe and ferried over + some food and blankets for them, but we slept one more night in the inn + before making another venture on our journey. + </p> + <p> + The next morning it was still snowing furiously when we got away with our + new stock of saddles and accoutrements. We mounted and started. The snow + lay so deep on the ground that there was no sign of a road perceptible, + and the snow-fall was so thick that we could not see more than a hundred + yards ahead, else we could have guided our course by the mountain ranges. + The case looked dubious, but Ollendorff said his instinct was as sensitive + as any compass, and that he could "strike a bee-line" for Carson city and + never diverge from it. He said that if he were to straggle a single point + out of the true line his instinct would assail him like an outraged + conscience. Consequently we dropped into his wake happy and content. For + half an hour we poked along warily enough, but at the end of that time we + came upon a fresh trail, and Ollendorff shouted proudly: + </p> + <p> + "I knew I was as dead certain as a compass, boys! Here we are, right in + somebody's tracks that will hunt the way for us without any trouble. Let's + hurry up and join company with the party." + </p> + <p> + So we put the horses into as much of a trot as the deep snow would allow, + and before long it was evident that we were gaining on our predecessors, + for the tracks grew more distinct. We hurried along, and at the end of an + hour the tracks looked still newer and fresher—but what surprised us + was, that the number of travelers in advance of us seemed to steadily + increase. We wondered how so large a party came to be traveling at such a + time and in such a solitude. Somebody suggested that it must be a company + of soldiers from the fort, and so we accepted that solution and jogged + along a little faster still, for they could not be far off now. But the + tracks still multiplied, and we began to think the platoon of soldiers was + miraculously expanding into a regiment—Ballou said they had already + increased to five hundred! Presently he stopped his horse and said: + </p> + <p> + "Boys, these are our own tracks, and we've actually been circussing round + and round in a circle for more than two hours, out here in this blind + desert! By George this is perfectly hydraulic!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link229" id="link229"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="229.jpg (83K)" src="images/229.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Then the old man waxed wroth and abusive. He called Ollendorff all manner + of hard names—said he never saw such a lurid fool as he was, and + ended with the peculiarly venomous opinion that he "did not know as much + as a logarythm!" + </p> + <p> + We certainly had been following our own tracks. Ollendorff and his "mental + compass" were in disgrace from that moment. + </p> + <p> + After all our hard travel, here we were on the bank of the stream again, + with the inn beyond dimly outlined through the driving snow-fall. While we + were considering what to do, the young Swede landed from the canoe and + took his pedestrian way Carson-wards, singing his same tiresome song about + his "sister and his brother" and "the child in the grave with its mother," + and in a short minute faded and disappeared in the white oblivion. He was + never heard of again. He no doubt got bewildered and lost, and Fatigue + delivered him over to Sleep and Sleep betrayed him to Death. Possibly he + followed our treacherous tracks till he became exhausted and dropped. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link230" id="link230"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="230.jpg (20K)" src="images/230.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Presently the Overland stage forded the now fast receding stream and + started toward Carson on its first trip since the flood came. We hesitated + no longer, now, but took up our march in its wake, and trotted merrily + along, for we had good confidence in the driver's bump of locality. But + our horses were no match for the fresh stage team. We were soon left out + of sight; but it was no matter, for we had the deep ruts the wheels made + for a guide. By this time it was three in the afternoon, and consequently + it was not very long before night came—and not with a lingering + twilight, but with a sudden shutting down like a cellar door, as is its + habit in that country. The snowfall was still as thick as ever, and of + course we could not see fifteen steps before us; but all about us the + white glare of the snow-bed enabled us to discern the smooth sugar-loaf + mounds made by the covered sage-bushes, and just in front of us the two + faint grooves which we knew were the steadily filling and slowly + disappearing wheel-tracks. + </p> + <p> + Now those sage-bushes were all about the same height—three or four + feet; they stood just about seven feet apart, all over the vast desert; + each of them was a mere snow-mound, now; in any direction that you + proceeded (the same as in a well laid out orchard) you would find yourself + moving down a distinctly defined avenue, with a row of these snow-mounds + an either side of it—an avenue the customary width of a road, nice + and level in its breadth, and rising at the sides in the most natural way, + by reason of the mounds. But we had not thought of this. Then imagine the + chilly thrill that shot through us when it finally occurred to us, far in + the night, that since the last faint trace of the wheel-tracks had long + ago been buried from sight, we might now be wandering down a mere + sage-brush avenue, miles away from the road and diverging further and + further away from it all the time. Having a cake of ice slipped down one's + back is placid comfort compared to it. There was a sudden leap and stir of + blood that had been asleep for an hour, and as sudden a rousing of all the + drowsing activities in our minds and bodies. We were alive and awake at + once—and shaking and quaking with consternation, too. There was an + instant halting and dismounting, a bending low and an anxious scanning of + the road-bed. Useless, of course; for if a faint depression could not be + discerned from an altitude of four or five feet above it, it certainly + could not with one's nose nearly against it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link231" id="link231"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="231.jpg (33K)" src="images/231.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch32" id="linkch32"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We seemed to be in a road, but that was no proof. We tested this by + walking off in various directions—the regular snow-mounds and the + regular avenues between them convinced each man that he had found the true + road, and that the others had found only false ones. Plainly the situation + was desperate. We were cold and stiff and the horses were tired. We + decided to build a sage-brush fire and camp out till morning. This was + wise, because if we were wandering from the right road and the snow-storm + continued another day our case would be the next thing to hopeless if we + kept on. + </p> + <p> + All agreed that a camp fire was what would come nearest to saving us, now, + and so we set about building it. We could find no matches, and so we tried + to make shift with the pistols. Not a man in the party had ever tried to + do such a thing before, but not a man in the party doubted that it could + be done, and without any trouble—because every man in the party had + read about it in books many a time and had naturally come to believe it, + with trusting simplicity, just as he had long ago accepted and believed + that other common book-fraud about Indians and lost hunters making a fire + by rubbing two dry sticks together. + </p> + <p> + We huddled together on our knees in the deep snow, and the horses put + their noses together and bowed their patient heads over us; and while the + feathery flakes eddied down and turned us into a group of white statuary, + we proceeded with the momentous experiment. We broke twigs from a sage + bush and piled them on a little cleared place in the shelter of our + bodies. In the course of ten or fifteen minutes all was ready, and then, + while conversation ceased and our pulses beat low with anxious suspense, + Ollendorff applied his revolver, pulled the trigger and blew the pile + clear out of the county! It was the flattest failure that ever was. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link233" id="link233"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="233.jpg (89K)" src="images/233.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + This was distressing, but it paled before a greater horror—the + horses were gone! I had been appointed to hold the bridles, but in my + absorbing anxiety over the pistol experiment I had unconsciously dropped + them and the released animals had walked off in the storm. It was useless + to try to follow them, for their footfalls could make no sound, and one + could pass within two yards of the creatures and never see them. We gave + them up without an effort at recovering them, and cursed the lying books + that said horses would stay by their masters for protection and + companionship in a distressful time like ours. + </p> + <p> + We were miserable enough, before; we felt still more forlorn, now. + Patiently, but with blighted hope, we broke more sticks and piled them, + and once more the Prussian shot them into annihilation. Plainly, to light + a fire with a pistol was an art requiring practice and experience, and the + middle of a desert at midnight in a snow-storm was not a good place or + time for the acquiring of the accomplishment. We gave it up and tried the + other. Each man took a couple of sticks and fell to chafing them together. + At the end of half an hour we were thoroughly chilled, and so were the + sticks. We bitterly execrated the Indians, the hunters and the books that + had betrayed us with the silly device, and wondered dismally what was next + to be done. At this critical moment Mr. Ballou fished out four matches + from the rubbish of an overlooked pocket. To have found four gold bars + would have seemed poor and cheap good luck compared to this. + </p> + <p> + One cannot think how good a match looks under such circumstances—or + how lovable and precious, and sacredly beautiful to the eye. This time we + gathered sticks with high hopes; and when Mr. Ballou prepared to light the + first match, there was an amount of interest centred upon him that pages + of writing could not describe. The match burned hopefully a moment, and + then went out. It could not have carried more regret with it if it had + been a human life. The next match simply flashed and died. The wind puffed + the third one out just as it was on the imminent verge of success. We + gathered together closer than ever, and developed a solicitude that was + rapt and painful, as Mr. Ballou scratched our last hope on his leg. It + lit, burned blue and sickly, and then budded into a robust flame. Shading + it with his hands, the old gentleman bent gradually down and every heart + went with him—everybody, too, for that matter—and blood and + breath stood still. The flame touched the sticks at last, took gradual + hold upon them—hesitated—took a stronger hold—hesitated + again—held its breath five heart-breaking seconds, then gave a sort + of human gasp and went out. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link234" id="link234"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="234.jpg (42K)" src="images/234.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Nobody said a word for several minutes. It was a solemn sort of silence; + even the wind put on a stealthy, sinister quiet, and made no more noise + than the falling flakes of snow. Finally a sad-voiced conversation began, + and it was soon apparent that in each of our hearts lay the conviction + that this was our last night with the living. I had so hoped that I was + the only one who felt so. When the others calmly acknowledged their + conviction, it sounded like the summons itself. Ollendorff said: + </p> + <p> + "Brothers, let us die together. And let us go without one hard feeling + towards each other. Let us forget and forgive bygones. I know that you + have felt hard towards me for turning over the canoe, and for knowing too + much and leading you round and round in the snow—but I meant well; + forgive me. I acknowledge freely that I have had hard feelings against Mr. + Ballou for abusing me and calling me a logarythm, which is a thing I do + not know what, but no doubt a thing considered disgraceful and unbecoming + in America, and it has scarcely been out of my mind and has hurt me a + great deal—but let it go; I forgive Mr. Ballou with all my heart, + and—" + </p> + <p> + Poor Ollendorff broke down and the tears came. He was not alone, for I was + crying too, and so was Mr. Ballou. Ollendorff got his voice again and + forgave me for things I had done and said. Then he got out his bottle of + whisky and said that whether he lived or died he would never touch another + drop. He said he had given up all hope of life, and although ill-prepared, + was ready to submit humbly to his fate; that he wished he could be spared + a little longer, not for any selfish reason, but to make a thorough reform + in his character, and by devoting himself to helping the poor, nursing the + sick, and pleading with the people to guard themselves against the evils + of intemperance, make his life a beneficent example to the young, and lay + it down at last with the precious reflection that it had not been lived in + vain. He ended by saying that his reform should begin at this moment, even + here in the presence of death, since no longer time was to be vouchsafed + wherein to prosecute it to men's help and benefit—and with that he + threw away the bottle of whisky. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link236" id="link236"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="236.jpg (21K)" src="images/236.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Mr. Ballou made remarks of similar purport, and began the reform he could + not live to continue, by throwing away the ancient pack of cards that had + solaced our captivity during the flood and made it bearable. + </p> + <p> + He said he never gambled, but still was satisfied that the meddling with + cards in any way was immoral and injurious, and no man could be wholly + pure and blemishless without eschewing them. "And therefore," continued + he, "in doing this act I already feel more in sympathy with that spiritual + saturnalia necessary to entire and obsolete reform." These rolling + syllables touched him as no intelligible eloquence could have done, and + the old man sobbed with a mournfulness not unmingled with satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + My own remarks were of the same tenor as those of my comrades, and I know + that the feelings that prompted them were heartfelt and sincere. We were + all sincere, and all deeply moved and earnest, for we were in the presence + of death and without hope. I threw away my pipe, and in doing it felt that + at last I was free of a hated vice and one that had ridden me like a + tyrant all my days. While I yet talked, the thought of the good I might + have done in the world and the still greater good I might now do, with + these new incentives and higher and better aims to guide me if I could + only be spared a few years longer, overcame me and the tears came again. + We put our arms about each other's necks and awaited the warning + drowsiness that precedes death by freezing. + </p> + <p> + It came stealing over us presently, and then we bade each other a last + farewell. A delicious dreaminess wrought its web about my yielding senses, + while the snow-flakes wove a winding sheet about my conquered body. + Oblivion came. The battle of life was done. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link237" id="link237"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="237.jpg (34K)" src="images/237.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch33" id="linkch33"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I do not know how long I was in a state of forgetfulness, but it seemed an + age. A vague consciousness grew upon me by degrees, and then came a + gathering anguish of pain in my limbs and through all my body. I + shuddered. The thought flitted through my brain, "this is death—this + is the hereafter." + </p> + <p> + Then came a white upheaval at my side, and a voice said, with bitterness: + </p> + <p> + "Will some gentleman be so good as to kick me behind?" + </p> + <p> + It was Ballou—at least it was a towzled snow image in a sitting + posture, with Ballou's voice. + </p> + <p> + I rose up, and there in the gray dawn, not fifteen steps from us, were the + frame buildings of a stage station, and under a shed stood our still + saddled and bridled horses! + </p> + <p> + An arched snow-drift broke up, now, and Ollendorff emerged from it, and + the three of us sat and stared at the houses without speaking a word. We + really had nothing to say. We were like the profane man who could not "do + the subject justice," the whole situation was so painfully ridiculous and + humiliating that words were tame and we did not know where to commence + anyhow. + </p> + <p> + The joy in our hearts at our deliverance was poisoned; well-nigh + dissipated, indeed. We presently began to grow pettish by degrees, and + sullen; and then, angry at each other, angry at ourselves, angry at + everything in general, we moodily dusted the snow from our clothing and in + unsociable single file plowed our way to the horses, unsaddled them, and + sought shelter in the station. + </p> + <p> + I have scarcely exaggerated a detail of this curious and absurd adventure. + It occurred almost exactly as I have stated it. We actually went into camp + in a snow-drift in a desert, at midnight in a storm, forlorn and hopeless, + within fifteen steps of a comfortable inn. + </p> + <p> + For two hours we sat apart in the station and ruminated in disgust. The + mystery was gone, now, and it was plain enough why the horses had deserted + us. Without a doubt they were under that shed a quarter of a minute after + they had left us, and they must have overheard and enjoyed all our + confessions and lamentations. + </p> + <p> + After breakfast we felt better, and the zest of life soon came back. The + world looked bright again, and existence was as dear to us as ever. + Presently an uneasiness came over me—grew upon me—assailed me + without ceasing. Alas, my regeneration was not complete—I wanted to + smoke! I resisted with all my strength, but the flesh was weak. I wandered + away alone and wrestled with myself an hour. I recalled my promises of + reform and preached to myself persuasively, upbraidingly, exhaustively. + But it was all vain, I shortly found myself sneaking among the snow-drifts + hunting for my pipe. I discovered it after a considerable search, and + crept away to hide myself and enjoy it. I remained behind the barn a good + while, asking myself how I would feel if my braver, stronger, truer + comrades should catch me in my degradation. At last I lit the pipe, and no + human being can feel meaner and baser than I did then. I was ashamed of + being in my own pitiful company. Still dreading discovery, I felt that + perhaps the further side of the barn would be somewhat safer, and so I + turned the corner. As I turned the one corner, smoking, Ollendorff turned + the other with his bottle to his lips, and between us sat unconscious + Ballou deep in a game of "solitaire" with the old greasy cards! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link240" id="link240"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="240.jpg (102K)" src="images/240.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Absurdity could go no farther. We shook hands and agreed to say no more + about "reform" and "examples to the rising generation." + </p> + <p> + The station we were at was at the verge of the Twenty-six-Mile Desert. If + we had approached it half an hour earlier the night before, we must have + heard men shouting there and firing pistols; for they were expecting some + sheep drovers and their flocks and knew that they would infallibly get + lost and wander out of reach of help unless guided by sounds. + </p> + <p> + While we remained at the station, three of the drovers arrived, nearly + exhausted with their wanderings, but two others of their party were never + heard of afterward. + </p> + <p> + We reached Carson in due time, and took a rest. This rest, together with + preparations for the journey to Esmeralda, kept us there a week, and the + delay gave us the opportunity to be present at the trial of the great + land-slide case of Hyde vs. Morgan—an episode which is famous in + Nevada to this day. After a word or two of necessary explanation, I will + set down the history of this singular affair just as it transpired. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch34" id="linkch34"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + The mountains are very high and steep about Carson, Eagle and Washoe + Valleys—very high and very steep, and so when the snow gets to + melting off fast in the Spring and the warm surface-earth begins to + moisten and soften, the disastrous land-slides commence. The reader cannot + know what a land-slide is, unless he has lived in that country and seen + the whole side of a mountain taken off some fine morning and deposited + down in the valley, leaving a vast, treeless, unsightly scar upon the + mountain's front to keep the circumstance fresh in his memory all the + years that he may go on living within seventy miles of that place. + </p> + <p> + General Buncombe was shipped out to Nevada in the invoice of Territorial + officers, to be United States Attorney. He considered himself a lawyer of + parts, and he very much wanted an opportunity to manifest it—partly + for the pure gratification of it and partly because his salary was + Territorially meagre (which is a strong expression). Now the older + citizens of a new territory look down upon the rest of the world with a + calm, benevolent compassion, as long as it keeps out of the way—when + it gets in the way they snub it. Sometimes this latter takes the shape of + a practical joke. + </p> + <p> + One morning Dick Hyde rode furiously up to General Buncombe's door in + Carson city and rushed into his presence without stopping to tie his + horse. He seemed much excited. He told the General that he wanted him to + conduct a suit for him and would pay him five hundred dollars if he + achieved a victory. And then, with violent gestures and a world of + profanity, he poured out his grief. He said it was pretty well known that + for some years he had been farming (or ranching as the more customary term + is) in Washoe District, and making a successful thing of it, and + furthermore it was known that his ranch was situated just in the edge of + the valley, and that Tom Morgan owned a ranch immediately above it on the + mountain side. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link242" id="link242"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="242.jpg (114K)" src="images/242.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And now the trouble was, that one of those hated and dreaded land-slides + had come and slid Morgan's ranch, fences, cabins, cattle, barns and + everything down on top of his ranch and exactly covered up every single + vestige of his property, to a depth of about thirty-eight feet. Morgan was + in possession and refused to vacate the premises—said he was + occupying his own cabin and not interfering with anybody else's—and + said the cabin was standing on the same dirt and same ranch it had always + stood on, and he would like to see anybody make him vacate. + </p> + <p> + "And when I reminded him," said Hyde, weeping, "that it was on top of my + ranch and that he was trespassing, he had the infernal meanness to ask me + why didn't I stay on my ranch and hold possession when I see him a-coming! + Why didn't I stay on it, the blathering lunatic—by George, when I + heard that racket and looked up that hill it was just like the whole world + was a-ripping and a-tearing down that mountain side—splinters, and + cord-wood, thunder and lightning, hail and snow, odds and ends of hay + stacks, and awful clouds of dust!—trees going end over end in the + air, rocks as big as a house jumping 'bout a thousand feet high and + busting into ten million pieces, cattle turned inside out and a-coming + head on with their tails hanging out between their teeth!—and in the + midst of all that wrack and destruction sot that cussed Morgan on his + gate-post, a-wondering why I didn't stay and hold possession! Laws bless + me, I just took one glimpse, General, and lit out'n the county in three + jumps exactly. + </p> + <p> + "But what grinds me is that that Morgan hangs on there and won't move + off'n that ranch—says it's his'n and he's going to keep it—likes + it better'n he did when it was higher up the hill. Mad! Well, I've been so + mad for two days I couldn't find my way to town—been wandering + around in the brush in a starving condition—got anything here to + drink, General? But I'm here now, and I'm a-going to law. You hear me!" + </p> + <p> + Never in all the world, perhaps, were a man's feelings so outraged as were + the General's. He said he had never heard of such high-handed conduct in + all his life as this Morgan's. And he said there was no use in going to + law—Morgan had no shadow of right to remain where he was—nobody + in the wide world would uphold him in it, and no lawyer would take his + case and no judge listen to it. Hyde said that right there was where he + was mistaken—everybody in town sustained Morgan; Hal Brayton, a very + smart lawyer, had taken his case; the courts being in vacation, it was to + be tried before a referee, and ex-Governor Roop had already been appointed + to that office and would open his court in a large public hall near the + hotel at two that afternoon. + </p> + <p> + The General was amazed. He said he had suspected before that the people of + that Territory were fools, and now he knew it. But he said rest easy, rest + easy and collect the witnesses, for the victory was just as certain as if + the conflict were already over. Hyde wiped away his tears and left. + </p> + <p> + At two in the afternoon referee Roop's Court opened and Roop appeared + throned among his sheriffs, the witnesses, and spectators, and wearing + upon his face a solemnity so awe-inspiring that some of his fellow- + conspirators had misgivings that maybe he had not comprehended, after all, + that this was merely a joke. An unearthly stillness prevailed, for at the + slightest noise the judge uttered sternly the command: + </p> + <p> + "Order in the Court!" + </p> + <p> + And the sheriffs promptly echoed it. Presently the General elbowed his way + through the crowd of spectators, with his arms full of law-books, and on + his ears fell an order from the judge which was the first respectful + recognition of his high official dignity that had ever saluted them, and + it trickled pleasantly through his whole system: + </p> + <p> + "Way for the United States Attorney!" + </p> + <p> + The witnesses were called—legislators, high government officers, + ranchmen, miners, Indians, Chinamen, negroes. Three fourths of them were + called by the defendant Morgan, but no matter, their testimony invariably + went in favor of the plaintiff Hyde. Each new witness only added new + testimony to the absurdity of a man's claiming to own another man's + property because his farm had slid down on top of it. Then the Morgan + lawyers made their speeches, and seemed to make singularly weak ones—they + did really nothing to help the Morgan cause. And now the General, with + exultation in his face, got up and made an impassioned effort; he pounded + the table, he banged the law-books, he shouted, and roared, and howled, he + quoted from everything and everybody, poetry, sarcasm, statistics, + history, pathos, bathos, blasphemy, and wound up with a grand war-whoop + for free speech, freedom of the press, free schools, the Glorious Bird of + America and the principles of eternal justice! [Applause.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="link244" id="link244"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="244.jpg (96K)" src="images/244.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + When the General sat down, he did it with the conviction that if there was + anything in good strong testimony, a great speech and believing and + admiring countenances all around, Mr. Morgan's case was killed. Ex- + Governor Roop leant his head upon his hand for some minutes, thinking, and + the still audience waited for his decision. Then he got up and stood + erect, with bended head, and thought again. Then he walked the floor with + long, deliberate strides, his chin in his hand, and still the audience + waited. At last he returned to his throne, seated himself, and began + impressively: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, I feel the great responsibility that rests upon me this day. + This is no ordinary case. On the contrary it is plain that it is the most + solemn and awful that ever man was called upon to decide. Gentlemen, I + have listened attentively to the evidence, and have perceived that the + weight of it, the overwhelming weight of it, is in favor of the plaintiff + Hyde. I have listened also to the remarks of counsel, with high interest—and + especially will I commend the masterly and irrefutable logic of the + distinguished gentleman who represents the plaintiff. But gentlemen, let + us beware how we allow mere human testimony, human ingenuity in argument + and human ideas of equity, to influence us at a moment so solemn as this. + Gentlemen, it ill becomes us, worms as we are, to meddle with the decrees + of Heaven. It is plain to me that Heaven, in its inscrutable wisdom, has + seen fit to move this defendant's ranch for a purpose. We are but + creatures, and we must submit. If Heaven has chosen to favor the defendant + Morgan in this marked and wonderful manner; and if Heaven, dissatisfied + with the position of the Morgan ranch upon the mountain side, has chosen + to remove it to a position more eligible and more advantageous for its + owner, it ill becomes us, insects as we are, to question the legality of + the act or inquire into the reasons that prompted it. No—Heaven + created the ranches and it is Heaven's prerogative to rearrange them, to + experiment with them around at its pleasure. It is for us to submit, + without repining. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link246" id="link246"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="246.jpg (92K)" src="images/246.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "I warn you that this thing which has happened is a thing with which the + sacrilegious hands and brains and tongues of men must not meddle. + Gentlemen, it is the verdict of this court that the plaintiff, Richard + Hyde, has been deprived of his ranch by the visitation of God! And from + this decision there is no appeal." + </p> + <p> + Buncombe seized his cargo of law-books and plunged out of the court-room + frantic with indignation. He pronounced Roop to be a miraculous fool, an + inspired idiot. In all good faith he returned at night and remonstrated + with Roop upon his extravagant decision, and implored him to walk the + floor and think for half an hour, and see if he could not figure out some + sort of modification of the verdict. Roop yielded at last and got up to + walk. He walked two hours and a half, and at last his face lit up happily + and he told Buncombe it had occurred to him that the ranch underneath the + new Morgan ranch still belonged to Hyde, that his title to the ground was + just as good as it had ever been, and therefore he was of opinion that + Hyde had a right to dig it out from under there and— + </p> + <p> + The General never waited to hear the end of it. He was always an impatient + and irascible man, that way. At the end of two months the fact that he had + been played upon with a joke had managed to bore itself, like another + Hoosac Tunnel, through the solid adamant of his understanding. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch35" id="linkch35"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + When we finally left for Esmeralda, horseback, we had an addition to the + company in the person of Capt. John Nye, the Governor's brother. He had a + good memory, and a tongue hung in the middle. This is a combination which + gives immortality to conversation. Capt. John never suffered the talk to + flag or falter once during the hundred and twenty miles of the journey. In + addition to his conversational powers, he had one or two other endowments + of a marked character. One was a singular "handiness" about doing anything + and everything, from laying out a railroad or organizing a political + party, down to sewing on buttons, shoeing a horse, or setting a broken + leg, or a hen. Another was a spirit of accommodation that prompted him to + take the needs, difficulties and perplexities of anybody and everybody + upon his own shoulders at any and all times, and dispose of them with + admirable facility and alacrity—hence he always managed to find + vacant beds in crowded inns, and plenty to eat in the emptiest larders. + And finally, wherever he met a man, woman or child, in camp, inn or + desert, he either knew such parties personally or had been acquainted with + a relative of the same. Such another traveling comrade was never seen + before. I cannot forbear giving a specimen of the way in which he overcame + difficulties. On the second day out, we arrived, very tired and hungry, at + a poor little inn in the desert, and were told that the house was full, no + provisions on hand, and neither hay nor barley to spare for the horses—must + move on. The rest of us wanted to hurry on while it was yet light, but + Capt. John insisted on stopping awhile. We dismounted and entered. There + was no welcome for us on any face. Capt. John began his blandishments, and + within twenty minutes he had accomplished the following things, viz.: + found old acquaintances in three teamsters; discovered that he used to go + to school with the landlord's mother; recognized his wife as a lady whose + life he had saved once in California, by stopping her runaway horse; + mended a child's broken toy and won the favor of its mother, a guest of + the inn; helped the hostler bleed a horse, and prescribed for another + horse that had the "heaves"; treated the entire party three times at the + landlord's bar; produced a later paper than anybody had seen for a week + and sat himself down to read the news to a deeply interested audience. The + result, summed up, was as follows: The hostler found plenty of feed for + our horses; we had a trout supper, an exceedingly sociable time after it, + good beds to sleep in, and a surprising breakfast in the morning—and + when we left, we left lamented by all! Capt. John had some bad traits, but + he had some uncommonly valuable ones to offset them with. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link249" id="link249"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="249.jpg (53K)" src="images/249.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Esmeralda was in many respects another Humboldt, but in a little more + forward state. The claims we had been paying assessments on were entirely + worthless, and we threw them away. The principal one cropped out of the + top of a knoll that was fourteen feet high, and the inspired Board of + Directors were running a tunnel under that knoll to strike the ledge. The + tunnel would have to be seventy feet long, and would then strike the ledge + at the same dept that a shaft twelve feet deep would have reached! The + Board were living on the "assessments." [N.B.—This hint comes too + late for the enlightenment of New York silver miners; they have already + learned all about this neat trick by experience.] The Board had no desire + to strike the ledge, knowing that it was as barren of silver as a + curbstone. This reminiscence calls to mind Jim Townsend's tunnel. He had + paid assessments on a mine called the "Daley" till he was well-nigh + penniless. Finally an assessment was levied to run a tunnel two hundred + and fifty feet on the Daley, and Townsend went up on the hill to look into + matters. + </p> + <p> + He found the Daley cropping out of the apex of an exceedingly sharp- + pointed peak, and a couple of men up there "facing" the proposed tunnel. + Townsend made a calculation. Then he said to the men: + </p> + <p> + "So you have taken a contract to run a tunnel into this hill two hundred + and fifty feet to strike this ledge?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, sir." + </p> + <p> + "Well, do you know that you have got one of the most expensive and arduous + undertakings before you that was ever conceived by man?" + </p> + <p> + "Why no—how is that?" + </p> + <p> + "Because this hill is only twenty-five feet through from side to side; and + so you have got to build two hundred and twenty-five feet of your tunnel + on trestle-work!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link250" id="link250"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="250.jpg (61K)" src="images/250.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The ways of silver mining Boards are exceedingly dark and sinuous. + </p> + <p> + We took up various claims, and commenced shafts and tunnels on them, but + never finished any of them. We had to do a certain amount of work on each + to "hold" it, else other parties could seize our property after the + expiration of ten days. We were always hunting up new claims and doing a + little work on them and then waiting for a buyer—who never came. We + never found any ore that would yield more than fifty dollars a ton; and as + the mills charged fifty dollars a ton for working ore and extracting the + silver, our pocket-money melted steadily away and none returned to take + its place. We lived in a little cabin and cooked for ourselves; and + altogether it was a hard life, though a hopeful one—for we never + ceased to expect fortune and a customer to burst upon us some day. + </p> + <p> + At last, when flour reached a dollar a pound, and money could not be + borrowed on the best security at less than eight per cent a month (I being + without the security, too), I abandoned mining and went to milling. That + is to say, I went to work as a common laborer in a quartz mill, at ten + dollars a week and board. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch36" id="linkch36"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I had already learned how hard and long and dismal a task it is to burrow + down into the bowels of the earth and get out the coveted ore; and now I + learned that the burrowing was only half the work; and that to get the + silver out of the ore was the dreary and laborious other half of it. We + had to turn out at six in the morning and keep at it till dark. This mill + was a six-stamp affair, driven by steam. Six tall, upright rods of iron, + as large as a man's ankle, and heavily shod with a mass of iron and steel + at their lower ends, were framed together like a gate, and these rose and + fell, one after the other, in a ponderous dance, in an iron box called a + "battery." Each of these rods or stamps weighed six hundred pounds. One of + us stood by the battery all day long, breaking up masses of silver-bearing + rock with a sledge and shoveling it into the battery. The ceaseless dance + of the stamps pulverized the rock to powder, and a stream of water that + trickled into the battery turned it to a creamy paste. The minutest + particles were driven through a fine wire screen which fitted close around + the battery, and were washed into great tubs warmed by super-heated steam—amalgamating + pans, they are called. The mass of pulp in the pans was kept constantly + stirred up by revolving "mullers." A quantity of quicksilver was kept + always in the battery, and this seized some of the liberated gold and + silver particles and held on to them; quicksilver was shaken in a fine + shower into the pans, also, about every half hour, through a buckskin + sack. Quantities of coarse salt and sulphate of copper were added, from + time to time to assist the amalgamation by destroying base metals which + coated the gold and silver and would not let it unite with the + quicksilver. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link253" id="link253"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="253.jpg (73K)" src="images/253.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + All these tiresome things we had to attend to constantly. Streams of dirty + water flowed always from the pans and were carried off in broad wooden + troughs to the ravine. One would not suppose that atoms of gold and silver + would float on top of six inches of water, but they did; and in order to + catch them, coarse blankets were laid in the troughs, and little + obstructing "riffles" charged with quicksilver were placed here and there + across the troughs also. These riffles had to be cleaned and the blankets + washed out every evening, to get their precious accumulations—and + after all this eternity of trouble one third of the silver and gold in a + ton of rock would find its way to the end of the troughs in the ravine at + last and have to be worked over again some day. There is nothing so + aggravating as silver milling. There never was any idle time in that mill. + There was always something to do. It is a pity that Adam could not have + gone straight out of Eden into a quartz mill, in order to understand the + full force of his doom to "earn his bread by the sweat of his brow." Every + now and then, during the day, we had to scoop some pulp out of the pans, + and tediously "wash" it in a horn spoon—wash it little by little + over the edge till at last nothing was left but some little dull globules + of quicksilver in the bottom. If they were soft and yielding, the pan + needed some salt or some sulphate of copper or some other chemical rubbish + to assist digestion; if they were crisp to the touch and would retain a + dint, they were freighted with all the silver and gold they could seize + and hold, and consequently the pan needed a fresh charge of quicksilver. + When there was nothing else to do, one could always "screen tailings." + That is to say, he could shovel up the dried sand that had washed down to + the ravine through the troughs and dash it against an upright wire screen + to free it from pebbles and prepare it for working over. + </p> + <p> + The process of amalgamation differed in the various mills, and this + included changes in style of pans and other machinery, and a great + diversity of opinion existed as to the best in use, but none of the + methods employed, involved the principle of milling ore without "screening + the tailings." Of all recreations in the world, screening tailings on a + hot day, with a long-handled shovel, is the most undesirable. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link254" id="link254"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="254.jpg (78K)" src="images/254.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + At the end of the week the machinery was stopped and we "cleaned up." That + is to say, we got the pulp out of the pans and batteries, and washed the + mud patiently away till nothing was left but the long accumulating mass of + quicksilver, with its imprisoned treasures. This we made into heavy, + compact snow-balls, and piled them up in a bright, luxurious heap for + inspection. Making these snow-balls cost me a fine gold ring—that + and ignorance together; for the quicksilver invaded the ring with the same + facility with which water saturates a sponge—separated its particles + and the ring crumbled to pieces. + </p> + <p> + We put our pile of quicksilver balls into an iron retort that had a pipe + leading from it to a pail of water, and then applied a roasting heat. The + quicksilver turned to vapor, escaped through the pipe into the pail, and + the water turned it into good wholesome quicksilver again. Quicksilver is + very costly, and they never waste it. On opening the retort, there was our + week's work—a lump of pure white, frosty looking silver, twice as + large as a man's head. Perhaps a fifth of the mass was gold, but the color + of it did not show—would not have shown if two thirds of it had been + gold. We melted it up and made a solid brick of it by pouring it into an + iron brick-mould. + </p> + <p> + By such a tedious and laborious process were silver bricks obtained. This + mill was but one of many others in operation at the time. The first one in + Nevada was built at Egan Canyon and was a small insignificant affair and + compared most unfavorably with some of the immense establishments + afterwards located at Virginia City and elsewhere. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link256" id="link256"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="256.jpg (96K)" src="images/256.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + From our bricks a little corner was chipped off for the "fire-assay"—a + method used to determine the proportions of gold, silver and base metals + in the mass. This is an interesting process. The chip is hammered out as + thin as paper and weighed on scales so fine and sensitive that if you + weigh a two-inch scrap of paper on them and then write your name on the + paper with a course, soft pencil and weigh it again, the scales will take + marked notice of the addition. + </p> + <p> + Then a little lead (also weighed) is rolled up with the flake of silver + and the two are melted at a great heat in a small vessel called a cupel, + made by compressing bone ashes into a cup-shape in a steel mold. The base + metals oxydize and are absorbed with the lead into the pores of the cupel. + A button or globule of perfectly pure gold and silver is left behind, and + by weighing it and noting the loss, the assayer knows the proportion of + base metal the brick contains. He has to separate the gold from the silver + now. The button is hammered out flat and thin, put in the furnace and kept + some time at a red heat; after cooling it off it is rolled up like a quill + and heated in a glass vessel containing nitric acid; the acid dissolves + the silver and leaves the gold pure and ready to be weighed on its own + merits. Then salt water is poured into the vessel containing the dissolved + silver and the silver returns to palpable form again and sinks to the + bottom. Nothing now remains but to weigh it; then the proportions of the + several metals contained in the brick are known, and the assayer stamps + the value of the brick upon its surface. + </p> + <p> + The sagacious reader will know now, without being told, that the + speculative miner, in getting a "fire-assay" made of a piece of rock from + his mine (to help him sell the same), was not in the habit of picking out + the least valuable fragment of rock on his dump-pile, but quite the + contrary. I have seen men hunt over a pile of nearly worthless quartz for + an hour, and at last find a little piece as large as a filbert, which was + rich in gold and silver—and this was reserved for a fire-assay! Of + course the fire-assay would demonstrate that a ton of such rock would + yield hundreds of dollars—and on such assays many an utterly + worthless mine was sold. + </p> + <p> + Assaying was a good business, and so some men engaged in it, occasionally, + who were not strictly scientific and capable. One assayer got such rich + results out of all specimens brought to him that in time he acquired + almost a monopoly of the business. But like all men who achieve success, + he became an object of envy and suspicion. The other assayers entered into + a conspiracy against him, and let some prominent citizens into the secret + in order to show that they meant fairly. Then they broke a little fragment + off a carpenter's grindstone and got a stranger to take it to the popular + scientist and get it assayed. In the course of an hour the result came—whereby + it appeared that a ton of that rock would yield $1,184.40 in silver and + $366.36 in gold! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link257" id="link257"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="257.jpg (34K)" src="images/257.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Due publication of the whole matter was made in the paper, and the popular + assayer left town "between two days." + </p> + <p> + I will remark, in passing, that I only remained in the milling business + one week. I told my employer I could not stay longer without an advance in + my wages; that I liked quartz milling, indeed was infatuated with it; that + I had never before grown so tenderly attached to an occupation in so short + a time; that nothing, it seemed to me, gave such scope to intellectual + activity as feeding a battery and screening tailings, and nothing so + stimulated the moral attributes as retorting bullion and washing blankets—still, + I felt constrained to ask an increase of salary. He said he was paying me + ten dollars a week, and thought it a good round sum. How much did I want? + </p> + <p> + I said about four hundred thousand dollars a month, and board, was about + all I could reasonably ask, considering the hard times. + </p> + <p> + I was ordered off the premises! And yet, when I look back to those days + and call to mind the exceeding hardness of the labor I performed in that + mill, I only regret that I did not ask him seven hundred thousand. + </p> + <p> + Shortly after this I began to grow crazy, along with the rest of the + population, about the mysterious and wonderful "cement mine," and to make + preparations to take advantage of any opportunity that might offer to go + and help hunt for it. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch37" id="linkch37"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + It was somewhere in the neighborhood of Mono Lake that the marvellous + Whiteman cement mine was supposed to lie. Every now and then it would be + reported that Mr. W. had passed stealthily through Esmeralda at dead of + night, in disguise, and then we would have a wild excitement—because + he must be steering for his secret mine, and now was the time to follow + him. In less than three hours after daylight all the horses and mules and + donkeys in the vicinity would be bought, hired or stolen, and half the + community would be off for the mountains, following in the wake of + Whiteman. But W. would drift about through the mountain gorges for days + together, in a purposeless sort of way, until the provisions of the miners + ran out, and they would have to go back home. I have known it reported at + eleven at night, in a large mining camp, that Whiteman had just passed + through, and in two hours the streets, so quiet before, would be swarming + with men and animals. Every individual would be trying to be very secret, + but yet venturing to whisper to just one neighbor that W. had passed + through. And long before daylight—this in the dead of Winter—the + stampede would be complete, the camp deserted, and the whole population + gone chasing after W. + </p> + <p> + The tradition was that in the early immigration, more than twenty years + ago, three young Germans, brothers, who had survived an Indian massacre on + the Plains, wandered on foot through the deserts, avoiding all trails and + roads, and simply holding a westerly direction and hoping to find + California before they starved, or died of fatigue. And in a gorge in the + mountains they sat down to rest one day, when one of them noticed a + curious vein of cement running along the ground, shot full of lumps of + dull yellow metal. They saw that it was gold, and that here was a fortune + to be acquired in a single day. The vein was about as wide as a curbstone, + and fully two thirds of it was pure gold. Every pound of the wonderful + cement was worth well-nigh $200. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link260" id="link260"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="260.jpg (59K)" src="images/260.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Each of the brothers loaded himself with about twenty-five pounds of it, + and then they covered up all traces of the vein, made a rude drawing of + the locality and the principal landmarks in the vicinity, and started + westward again. But troubles thickened about them. In their wanderings one + brother fell and broke his leg, and the others were obliged to go on and + leave him to die in the wilderness. Another, worn out and starving, gave + up by and by, and laid down to die, but after two or three weeks of + incredible hardships, the third reached the settlements of California + exhausted, sick, and his mind deranged by his sufferings. He had thrown + away all his cement but a few fragments, but these were sufficient to set + everybody wild with excitement. However, he had had enough of the cement + country, and nothing could induce him to lead a party thither. He was + entirely content to work on a farm for wages. But he gave Whiteman his + map, and described the cement region as well as he could and thus + transferred the curse to that gentleman—for when I had my one + accidental glimpse of Mr. W. in Esmeralda he had been hunting for the lost + mine, in hunger and thirst, poverty and sickness, for twelve or thirteen + years. Some people believed he had found it, but most people believed he + had not. I saw a piece of cement as large as my fist which was said to + have been given to Whiteman by the young German, and it was of a seductive + nature. Lumps of virgin gold were as thick in it as raisins in a slice of + fruit cake. The privilege of working such a mine one week would be + sufficient for a man of reasonable desires. + </p> + <p> + A new partner of ours, a Mr. Higbie, knew Whiteman well by sight, and a + friend of ours, a Mr. Van Dorn, was well acquainted with him, and not only + that, but had Whiteman's promise that he should have a private hint in + time to enable him to join the next cement expedition. Van Dorn had + promised to extend the hint to us. One evening Higbie came in greatly + excited, and said he felt certain he had recognized Whiteman, up town, + disguised and in a pretended state of intoxication. In a little while Van + Dorn arrived and confirmed the news; and so we gathered in our cabin and + with heads close together arranged our plans in impressive whispers. + </p> + <p> + We were to leave town quietly, after midnight, in two or three small + parties, so as not to attract attention, and meet at dawn on the "divide" + overlooking Mono Lake, eight or nine miles distant. We were to make no + noise after starting, and not speak above a whisper under any + circumstances. It was believed that for once Whiteman's presence was + unknown in the town and his expedition unsuspected. Our conclave broke up + at nine o'clock, and we set about our preparation diligently and with + profound secrecy. At eleven o'clock we saddled our horses, hitched them + with their long riatas (or lassos), and then brought out a side of bacon, + a sack of beans, a small sack of coffee, some sugar, a hundred pounds of + flour in sacks, some tin cups and a coffee pot, frying pan and some few + other necessary articles. All these things were "packed" on the back of a + led horse—and whoever has not been taught, by a Spanish adept, to + pack an animal, let him never hope to do the thing by natural smartness. + That is impossible. Higbie had had some experience, but was not perfect. + He put on the pack saddle (a thing like a saw-buck), piled the property on + it and then wound a rope all over and about it and under it, "every which + way," taking a hitch in it every now and then, and occasionally surging + back on it till the horse's sides sunk in and he gasped for breath—but + every time the lashings grew tight in one place they loosened in another. + We never did get the load tight all over, but we got it so that it would + do, after a fashion, and then we started, in single file, close order, and + without a word. It was a dark night. We kept the middle of the road, and + proceeded in a slow walk past the rows of cabins, and whenever a miner + came to his door I trembled for fear the light would shine on us an excite + curiosity. But nothing happened. We began the long winding ascent of the + canyon, toward the "divide," and presently the cabins began to grow + infrequent, and the intervals between them wider and wider, and then I + began to breathe tolerably freely and feel less like a thief and a + murderer. I was in the rear, leading the pack horse. As the ascent grew + steeper he grew proportionately less satisfied with his cargo, and began + to pull back on his riata occasionally and delay progress. My comrades + were passing out of sight in the gloom. I was getting anxious. I coaxed + and bullied the pack horse till I presently got him into a trot, and then + the tin cups and pans strung about his person frightened him and he ran. + His riata was wound around the pummel of my saddle, and so, as he went by + he dragged me from my horse and the two animals traveled briskly on + without me. But I was not alone—the loosened cargo tumbled overboard + from the pack horse and fell close to me. It was abreast of almost the + last cabin. + </p> + <p> + A miner came out and said: + </p> + <p> + "Hello!" + </p> + <p> + I was thirty steps from him, and knew he could not see me, it was so very + dark in the shadow of the mountain. So I lay still. Another head appeared + in the light of the cabin door, and presently the two men walked toward + me. They stopped within ten steps of me, and one said: + </p> + <p> + "Sh! Listen." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link263" id="link263"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="263.jpg (75K)" src="images/263.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I could not have been in a more distressed state if I had been escaping + justice with a price on my head. Then the miners appeared to sit down on a + boulder, though I could not see them distinctly enough to be very sure + what they did. One said: + </p> + <p> + "I heard a noise, as plain as I ever heard anything. It seemed to be about + there—" + </p> + <p> + A stone whizzed by my head. I flattened myself out in the dust like a + postage stamp, and thought to myself if he mended his aim ever so little + he would probably hear another noise. In my heart, now, I execrated secret + expeditions. I promised myself that this should be my last, though the + Sierras were ribbed with cement veins. Then one of the men said: + </p> + <p> + "I'll tell you what! Welch knew what he was talking about when he said he + saw Whiteman to-day. I heard horses—that was the noise. I am going + down to Welch's, right away." + </p> + <p> + They left and I was glad. I did not care whither they went, so they went. + I was willing they should visit Welch, and the sooner the better. + </p> + <p> + As soon as they closed their cabin door my comrades emerged from the + gloom; they had caught the horses and were waiting for a clear coast + again. We remounted the cargo on the pack horse and got under way, and as + day broke we reached the "divide" and joined Van Dorn. Then we journeyed + down into the valley of the Lake, and feeling secure, we halted to cook + breakfast, for we were tired and sleepy and hungry. Three hours later the + rest of the population filed over the "divide" in a long procession, and + drifted off out of sight around the borders of the Lake! + </p> + <p> + Whether or not my accident had produced this result we never knew, but at + least one thing was certain—the secret was out and Whiteman would + not enter upon a search for the cement mine this time. We were filled with + chagrin. + </p> + <p> + We held a council and decided to make the best of our misfortune and enjoy + a week's holiday on the borders of the curious Lake. Mono, it is sometimes + called, and sometimes the "Dead Sea of California." It is one of the + strangest freaks of Nature to be found in any land, but it is hardly ever + mentioned in print and very seldom visited, because it lies away off the + usual routes of travel and besides is so difficult to get at that only men + content to endure the roughest life will consent to take upon themselves + the discomforts of such a trip. On the morning of our second day, we + traveled around to a remote and particularly wild spot on the borders of + the Lake, where a stream of fresh, ice-cold water entered it from the + mountain side, and then we went regularly into camp. We hired a large boat + and two shot-guns from a lonely ranchman who lived some ten miles further + on, and made ready for comfort and recreation. We soon got thoroughly + acquainted with the Lake and all its peculiarities. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch38" id="linkch38"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Mono Lake lies in a lifeless, treeless, hideous desert, eight thousand + feet above the level of the sea, and is guarded by mountains two thousand + feet higher, whose summits are always clothed in clouds. This solemn, + silent, sail-less sea—this lonely tenant of the loneliest spot on + earth—is little graced with the picturesque. It is an unpretending + expanse of grayish water, about a hundred miles in circumference, with two + islands in its centre, mere upheavals of rent and scorched and blistered + lava, snowed over with gray banks and drifts of pumice-stone and ashes, + the winding sheet of the dead volcano, whose vast crater the lake has + seized upon and occupied. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link265" id="link265"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="265.jpg (138K)" src="images/265.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The lake is two hundred feet deep, and its sluggish waters are so strong + with alkali that if you only dip the most hopelessly soiled garment into + them once or twice, and wring it out, it will be found as clean as if it + had been through the ablest of washerwomen's hands. While we camped there + our laundry work was easy. We tied the week's washing astern of our boat, + and sailed a quarter of a mile, and the job was complete, all to the + wringing out. If we threw the water on our heads and gave them a rub or + so, the white lather would pile up three inches high. This water is not + good for bruised places and abrasions of the skin. We had a valuable dog. + He had raw places on him. He had more raw places on him than sound ones. + He was the rawest dog I almost ever saw. He jumped overboard one day to + get away from the flies. But it was bad judgment. In his condition, it + would have been just as comfortable to jump into the fire. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link266a" id="link266a"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="266a.jpg (44K)" src="images/266a.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The alkali water nipped him in all the raw places simultaneously, and he + struck out for the shore with considerable interest. He yelped and barked + and howled as he went—and by the time he got to the shore there was + no bark to him—for he had barked the bark all out of his inside, and + the alkali water had cleaned the bark all off his outside, and he probably + wished he had never embarked in any such enterprise. He ran round and + round in a circle, and pawed the earth and clawed the air, and threw + double somersaults, sometimes backward and sometimes forward, in the most + extraordinary manner. He was not a demonstrative dog, as a general thing, + but rather of a grave and serious turn of mind, and I never saw him take + so much interest in anything before. He finally struck out over the + mountains, at a gait which we estimated at about two hundred and fifty + miles an hour, and he is going yet. This was about nine years ago. We look + for what is left of him along here every day. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link266b" id="link266b"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="266b.jpg (51K)" src="images/266b.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + A white man cannot drink the water of Mono Lake, for it is nearly pure + lye. It is said that the Indians in the vicinity drink it sometimes, + though. It is not improbable, for they are among the purest liars I ever + saw. [There will be no additional charge for this joke, except to parties + requiring an explanation of it. This joke has received high commendation + from some of the ablest minds of the age.] + </p> + <p> + There are no fish in Mono Lake—no frogs, no snakes, no polliwigs—nothing, + in fact, that goes to make life desirable. Millions of wild ducks and + sea-gulls swim about the surface, but no living thing exists under the + surface, except a white feathery sort of worm, one half an inch long, + which looks like a bit of white thread frayed out at the sides. If you dip + up a gallon of water, you will get about fifteen thousand of these. They + give to the water a sort of grayish-white appearance. Then there is a fly, + which looks something like our house fly. These settle on the beach to eat + the worms that wash ashore—and any time, you can see there a belt of + flies an inch deep and six feet wide, and this belt extends clear around + the lake—a belt of flies one hundred miles long. If you throw a + stone among them, they swarm up so thick that they look dense, like a + cloud. You can hold them under water as long as you please—they do + not mind it—they are only proud of it. When you let them go, they + pop up to the surface as dry as a patent office report, and walk off as + unconcernedly as if they had been educated especially with a view to + affording instructive entertainment to man in that particular way. + Providence leaves nothing to go by chance. All things have their uses and + their part and proper place in Nature's economy: the ducks eat the flies—the + flies eat the worms—the Indians eat all three—the wild cats + eat the Indians—the white folks eat the wild cats—and thus all + things are lovely. + </p> + <p> + Mono Lake is a hundred miles in a straight line from the ocean—and + between it and the ocean are one or two ranges of mountains—yet + thousands of sea-gulls go there every season to lay their eggs and rear + their young. One would as soon expect to find sea-gulls in Kansas. And in + this connection let us observe another instance of Nature's wisdom. The + islands in the lake being merely huge masses of lava, coated over with + ashes and pumice-stone, and utterly innocent of vegetation or anything + that would burn; and sea-gull's eggs being entirely useless to anybody + unless they be cooked, Nature has provided an unfailing spring of boiling + water on the largest island, and you can put your eggs in there, and in + four minutes you can boil them as hard as any statement I have made during + the past fifteen years. Within ten feet of the boiling spring is a spring + of pure cold water, sweet and wholesome. + </p> + <p> + So, in that island you get your board and washing free of charge—and + if nature had gone further and furnished a nice American hotel clerk who + was crusty and disobliging, and didn't know anything about the time + tables, or the railroad routes—or—anything—and was proud + of it—I would not wish for a more desirable boarding-house. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link268" id="link268"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="268.jpg (51K)" src="images/268.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Half a dozen little mountain brooks flow into Mono Lake, but not a stream + of any kind flows out of it. It neither rises nor falls, apparently, and + what it does with its surplus water is a dark and bloody mystery. + </p> + <p> + There are only two seasons in the region round about Mono Lake—and + these are, the breaking up of one Winter and the beginning of the next. + More than once (in Esmeralda) I have seen a perfectly blistering morning + open up with the thermometer at ninety degrees at eight o'clock, and seen + the snow fall fourteen inches deep and that same identical thermometer go + down to forty-four degrees under shelter, before nine o'clock at night. + Under favorable circumstances it snows at least once in every single month + in the year, in the little town of Mono. So uncertain is the climate in + Summer that a lady who goes out visiting cannot hope to be prepared for + all emergencies unless she takes her fan under one arm and her snow shoes + under the other. When they have a Fourth of July procession it generally + snows on them, and they do say that as a general thing when a man calls + for a brandy toddy there, the bar keeper chops it off with a hatchet and + wraps it up in a paper, like maple sugar. And it is further reported that + the old soakers haven't any teeth—wore them out eating gin cocktails + and brandy punches. I do not endorse that statement—I simply give it + for what it is worth—and it is worth—well, I should say, + millions, to any man who can believe it without straining himself. But I + do endorse the snow on the Fourth of July—because I know that to be + true. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch39" id="linkch39"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XXXIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + About seven o'clock one blistering hot morning—for it was now dead + summer time—Higbie and I took the boat and started on a voyage of + discovery to the two islands. We had often longed to do this, but had been + deterred by the fear of storms; for they were frequent, and severe enough + to capsize an ordinary row-boat like ours without great difficulty—and + once capsized, death would ensue in spite of the bravest swimming, for + that venomous water would eat a man's eyes out like fire, and burn him out + inside, too, if he shipped a sea. It was called twelve miles, straight out + to the islands—a long pull and a warm one—but the morning was + so quiet and sunny, and the lake so smooth and glassy and dead, that we + could not resist the temptation. So we filled two large tin canteens with + water (since we were not acquainted with the locality of the spring said + to exist on the large island), and started. Higbie's brawny muscles gave + the boat good speed, but by the time we reached our destination we judged + that we had pulled nearer fifteen miles than twelve. + </p> + <p> + We landed on the big island and went ashore. We tried the water in the + canteens, now, and found that the sun had spoiled it; it was so brackish + that we could not drink it; so we poured it out and began a search for the + spring—for thirst augments fast as soon as it is apparent that one + has no means at hand of quenching it. The island was a long, moderately + high hill of ashes—nothing but gray ashes and pumice-stone, in which + we sunk to our knees at every step—and all around the top was a + forbidding wall of scorched and blasted rocks. When we reached the top and + got within the wall, we found simply a shallow, far-reaching basin, + carpeted with ashes, and here and there a patch of fine sand. In places, + picturesque jets of steam shot up out of crevices, giving evidence that + although this ancient crater had gone out of active business, there was + still some fire left in its furnaces. Close to one of these jets of steam + stood the only tree on the island—a small pine of most graceful + shape and most faultless symmetry; its color was a brilliant green, for + the steam drifted unceasingly through its branches and kept them always + moist. It contrasted strangely enough, did this vigorous and beautiful + outcast, with its dead and dismal surroundings. It was like a cheerful + spirit in a mourning household. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link271" id="link271"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="271.jpg (56K)" src="images/271.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We hunted for the spring everywhere, traversing the full length of the + island (two or three miles), and crossing it twice—climbing + ash-hills patiently, and then sliding down the other side in a sitting + posture, plowing up smothering volumes of gray dust. But we found nothing + but solitude, ashes and a heart-breaking silence. Finally we noticed that + the wind had risen, and we forgot our thirst in a solicitude of greater + importance; for, the lake being quiet, we had not taken pains about + securing the boat. We hurried back to a point overlooking our landing + place, and then—but mere words cannot describe our dismay—the + boat was gone! The chances were that there was not another boat on the + entire lake. The situation was not comfortable—in truth, to speak + plainly, it was frightful. We were prisoners on a desolate island, in + aggravating proximity to friends who were for the present helpless to aid + us; and what was still more uncomfortable was the reflection that we had + neither food nor water. But presently we sighted the boat. It was drifting + along, leisurely, about fifty yards from shore, tossing in a foamy sea. It + drifted, and continued to drift, but at the same safe distance from land, + and we walked along abreast it and waited for fortune to favor us. At the + end of an hour it approached a jutting cape, and Higbie ran ahead and + posted himself on the utmost verge and prepared for the assault. If we + failed there, there was no hope for us. It was driving gradually shoreward + all the time, now; but whether it was driving fast enough to make the + connection or not was the momentous question. When it got within thirty + steps of Higbie I was so excited that I fancied I could hear my own heart + beat. When, a little later, it dragged slowly along and seemed about to go + by, only one little yard out of reach, it seemed as if my heart stood + still; and when it was exactly abreast him and began to widen away, and he + still standing like a watching statue, I knew my heart did stop. But when + he gave a great spring, the next instant, and lit fairly in the stern, I + discharged a war-whoop that woke the solitudes! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link273" id="link273"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="273.jpg (62K)" src="images/273.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But it dulled my enthusiasm, presently, when he told me he had not been + caring whether the boat came within jumping distance or not, so that it + passed within eight or ten yards of him, for he had made up his mind to + shut his eyes and mouth and swim that trifling distance. Imbecile that I + was, I had not thought of that. It was only a long swim that could be + fatal. + </p> + <p> + The sea was running high and the storm increasing. It was growing late, + too—three or four in the afternoon. Whether to venture toward the + mainland or not, was a question of some moment. But we were so distressed + by thirst that we decide to try it, and so Higbie fell to work and I took + the steering-oar. When we had pulled a mile, laboriously, we were + evidently in serious peril, for the storm had greatly augmented; the + billows ran very high and were capped with foaming crests, the heavens + were hung with black, and the wind blew with great fury. We would have + gone back, now, but we did not dare to turn the boat around, because as + soon as she got in the trough of the sea she would upset, of course. Our + only hope lay in keeping her head-on to the seas. It was hard work to do + this, she plunged so, and so beat and belabored the billows with her + rising and falling bows. Now and then one of Higbie's oars would trip on + the top of a wave, and the other one would snatch the boat half around in + spite of my cumbersome steering apparatus. We were drenched by the sprays + constantly, and the boat occasionally shipped water. By and by, powerful + as my comrade was, his great exertions began to tell on him, and he was + anxious that I should change places with him till he could rest a little. + But I told him this was impossible; for if the steering oar were dropped a + moment while we changed, the boat would slue around into the trough of the + sea, capsize, and in less than five minutes we would have a hundred + gallons of soap- suds in us and be eaten up so quickly that we could not + even be present at our own inquest. + </p> + <p> + But things cannot last always. Just as the darkness shut down we came + booming into port, head on. Higbie dropped his oars to hurrah—I + dropped mine to help—the sea gave the boat a twist, and over she + went! + </p> + <p> + The agony that alkali water inflicts on bruises, chafes and blistered + hands, is unspeakable, and nothing but greasing all over will modify it—but + we ate, drank and slept well, that night, notwithstanding. + </p> + <p> + In speaking of the peculiarities of Mono Lake, I ought to have mentioned + that at intervals all around its shores stand picturesque turret-looking + masses and clusters of a whitish, coarse-grained rock that resembles + inferior mortar dried hard; and if one breaks off fragments of this rock + he will find perfectly shaped and thoroughly petrified gulls' eggs deeply + imbedded in the mass. How did they get there? I simply state the fact—for + it is a fact—and leave the geological reader to crack the nut at his + leisure and solve the problem after his own fashion. + </p> + <p> + At the end of a week we adjourned to the Sierras on a fishing excursion, + and spent several days in camp under snowy Castle Peak, and fished + successfully for trout in a bright, miniature lake whose surface was + between ten and eleven thousand feet above the level of the sea; cooling + ourselves during the hot August noons by sitting on snow banks ten feet + deep, under whose sheltering edges fine grass and dainty flowers + flourished luxuriously; and at night entertaining ourselves by almost + freezing to death. Then we returned to Mono Lake, and finding that the + cement excitement was over for the present, packed up and went back to + Esmeralda. Mr. Ballou reconnoitred awhile, and not liking the prospect, + set out alone for Humboldt. + </p> + <p> + About this time occurred a little incident which has always had a sort of + interest to me, from the fact that it came so near "instigating" my + funeral. At a time when an Indian attack had been expected, the citizens + hid their gunpowder where it would be safe and yet convenient to hand when + wanted. A neighbor of ours hid six cans of rifle powder in the bake-oven + of an old discarded cooking stove which stood on the open ground near a + frame out-house or shed, and from and after that day never thought of it + again. We hired a half-tamed Indian to do some washing for us, and he took + up quarters under the shed with his tub. The ancient stove reposed within + six feet of him, and before his face. Finally it occurred to him that hot + water would be better than cold, and he went out and fired up under that + forgotten powder magazine and set on a kettle of water. Then he returned + to his tub. + </p> + <p> + I entered the shed presently and threw down some more clothes, and was + about to speak to him when the stove blew up with a prodigious crash, and + disappeared, leaving not a splinter behind. Fragments of it fell in the + streets full two hundred yards away. Nearly a third of the shed roof over + our heads was destroyed, and one of the stove lids, after cutting a small + stanchion half in two in front of the Indian, whizzed between us and drove + partly through the weather-boarding beyond. I was as white as a sheet and + as weak as a kitten and speechless. But the Indian betrayed no + trepidation, no distress, not even discomfort. He simply stopped washing, + leaned forward and surveyed the clean, blank ground a moment, and then + remarked: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link275" id="link275"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="275.jpg (68K)" src="images/275.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Mph! Dam stove heap gone!"—and resumed his scrubbing as placidly as + if it were an entirely customary thing for a stove to do. I will explain, + that "heap" is "Injun-English" for "very much." The reader will perceive + the exhaustive expressiveness of it in the present instance. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link276" id="link276"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="276.jpg (30K)" src="images/276.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch40" id="linkch40"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XL. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I now come to a curious episode—the most curious, I think, that had + yet accented my slothful, valueless, heedless career. Out of a hillside + toward the upper end of the town, projected a wall of reddish looking + quartz-croppings, the exposed comb of a silver-bearing ledge that extended + deep down into the earth, of course. It was owned by a company entitled + the "Wide West." There was a shaft sixty or seventy feet deep on the under + side of the croppings, and everybody was acquainted with the rock that + came from it—and tolerably rich rock it was, too, but nothing + extraordinary. I will remark here, that although to the inexperienced + stranger all the quartz of a particular "district" looks about alike, an + old resident of the camp can take a glance at a mixed pile of rock, + separate the fragments and tell you which mine each came from, as easily + as a confectioner can separate and classify the various kinds and + qualities of candy in a mixed heap of the article. + </p> + <p> + All at once the town was thrown into a state of extraordinary excitement. + In mining parlance the Wide West had "struck it rich!" Everybody went to + see the new developments, and for some days there was such a crowd of + people about the Wide West shaft that a stranger would have supposed there + was a mass meeting in session there. No other topic was discussed but the + rich strike, and nobody thought or dreamed about anything else. Every man + brought away a specimen, ground it up in a hand mortar, washed it out in + his horn spoon, and glared speechless upon the marvelous result. It was + not hard rock, but black, decomposed stuff which could be crumbled in the + hand like a baked potato, and when spread out on a paper exhibited a thick + sprinkling of gold and particles of "native" silver. Higbie brought a + handful to the cabin, and when he had washed it out his amazement was + beyond description. Wide West stock soared skywards. It was said that + repeated offers had been made for it at a thousand dollars a foot, and + promptly refused. We have all had the "blues"—the mere sky- blues—but + mine were indigo, now—because I did not own in the Wide West. The + world seemed hollow to me, and existence a grief. I lost my appetite, and + ceased to take an interest in anything. Still I had to stay, and listen to + other people's rejoicings, because I had no money to get out of the camp + with. + </p> + <p> + The Wide West company put a stop to the carrying away of "specimens," and + well they might, for every handful of the ore was worth a sun of some + consequence. To show the exceeding value of the ore, I will remark that a + sixteen-hundred-pounds parcel of it was sold, just as it lay, at the mouth + of the shaft, at one dollar a pound; and the man who bought it "packed" it + on mules a hundred and fifty or two hundred miles, over the mountains, to + San Francisco, satisfied that it would yield at a rate that would richly + compensate him for his trouble. The Wide West people also commanded their + foreman to refuse any but their own operatives permission to enter the + mine at any time or for any purpose. I kept up my "blue" meditations and + Higbie kept up a deal of thinking, too, but of a different sort. He + puzzled over the "rock," examined it with a glass, inspected it in + different lights and from different points of view, and after each + experiment delivered himself, in soliloquy, of one and the same unvarying + opinion in the same unvarying formula: + </p> + <p> + "It is not Wide West rock!" + </p> + <p> + He said once or twice that he meant to have a look into the Wide West + shaft if he got shot for it. I was wretched, and did not care whether he + got a look into it or not. He failed that day, and tried again at night; + failed again; got up at dawn and tried, and failed again. Then he lay in + ambush in the sage brush hour after hour, waiting for the two or three + hands to adjourn to the shade of a boulder for dinner; made a start once, + but was premature—one of the men came back for something; tried it + again, but when almost at the mouth of the shaft, another of the men rose + up from behind the boulder as if to reconnoitre, and he dropped on the + ground and lay quiet; presently he crawled on his hands and knees to the + mouth of the shaft, gave a quick glance around, then seized the rope and + slid down the shaft. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link279" id="link279"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="279.jpg (47K)" src="images/279.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He disappeared in the gloom of a "side drift" just as a head appeared in + the mouth of the shaft and somebody shouted "Hello!"—which he did + not answer. He was not disturbed any more. An hour later he entered the + cabin, hot, red, and ready to burst with smothered excitement, and + exclaimed in a stage whisper: + </p> + <p> + "I knew it! We are rich! IT'S A BLIND LEAD!" + </p> + <p> + I thought the very earth reeled under me. Doubt—conviction—doubt + again—exultation—hope, amazement, belief, unbelief—every + emotion imaginable swept in wild procession through my heart and brain, + and I could not speak a word. After a moment or two of this mental fury, I + shook myself to rights, and said: + </p> + <p> + "Say it again!" + </p> + <p> + "It's blind lead!" + </p> + <p> + "Cal, let's—let's burn the house—or kill somebody! Let's get + out where there's room to hurrah! But what is the use? It is a hundred + times too good to be true." + </p> + <p> + "It's a blind lead, for a million!—hanging wall—foot wall—clay + casings—everything complete!" He swung his hat and gave three + cheers, and I cast doubt to the winds and chimed in with a will. For I was + worth a million dollars, and did not care "whether school kept or not!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link280" id="link280"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="280.jpg (50K)" src="images/280.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But perhaps I ought to explain. A "blind lead" is a lead or ledge that + does not "crop out" above the surface. A miner does not know where to look + for such leads, but they are often stumbled upon by accident in the course + of driving a tunnel or sinking a shaft. Higbie knew the Wide West rock + perfectly well, and the more he had examined the new developments the more + he was satisfied that the ore could not have come from the Wide West vein. + And so had it occurred to him alone, of all the camp, that there was a + blind lead down in the shaft, and that even the Wide West people + themselves did not suspect it. He was right. When he went down the shaft, + he found that the blind lead held its independent way through the Wide + West vein, cutting it diagonally, and that it was enclosed in its own + well-defined casing-rocks and clay. Hence it was public property. Both + leads being perfectly well defined, it was easy for any miner to see which + one belonged to the Wide West and which did not. + </p> + <p> + We thought it well to have a strong friend, and therefore we brought the + foreman of the Wide West to our cabin that night and revealed the great + surprise to him. Higbie said: + </p> + <p> + "We are going to take possession of this blind lead, record it and + establish ownership, and then forbid the Wide West company to take out any + more of the rock. You cannot help your company in this matter—nobody + can help them. I will go into the shaft with you and prove to your entire + satisfaction that it is a blind lead. Now we propose to take you in with + us, and claim the blind lead in our three names. What do you say?" + </p> + <p> + What could a man say who had an opportunity to simply stretch forth his + hand and take possession of a fortune without risk of any kind and without + wronging any one or attaching the least taint of dishonor to his name? He + could only say, "Agreed." + </p> + <p> + The notice was put up that night, and duly spread upon the recorder's + books before ten o'clock. We claimed two hundred feet each—six + hundred feet in all—the smallest and compactest organization in the + district, and the easiest to manage. + </p> + <p> + No one can be so thoughtless as to suppose that we slept, that night. + Higbie and I went to bed at midnight, but it was only to lie broad awake + and think, dream, scheme. The floorless, tumble-down cabin was a palace, + the ragged gray blankets silk, the furniture rosewood and mahogany. Each + new splendor that burst out of my visions of the future whirled me bodily + over in bed or jerked me to a sitting posture just as if an electric + battery had been applied to me. We shot fragments of conversation back and + forth at each other. Once Higbie said: + </p> + <p> + "When are you going home—to the States?" + </p> + <p> + "To-morrow!"—with an evolution or two, ending with a sitting + position. "Well—no—but next month, at furthest." + </p> + <p> + "We'll go in the same steamer." + </p> + <p> + "Agreed." + </p> + <p> + A pause. + </p> + <p> + "Steamer of the 10th?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes. No, the 1st." + </p> + <p> + "All right." + </p> + <p> + Another pause. + </p> + <p> + "Where are you going to live?" said Higbie. + </p> + <p> + "San Francisco." + </p> + <p> + "That's me!" + </p> + <p> + Pause. + </p> + <p> + "Too high—too much climbing"—from Higbie. + </p> + <p> + "What is?" + </p> + <p> + "I was thinking of Russian Hill—building a house up there." + </p> + <p> + "Too much climbing? Shan't you keep a carriage?" + </p> + <p> + "Of course. I forgot that." + </p> + <p> + Pause. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link282" id="link282"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="282.jpg (70K)" src="images/282.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Cal., what kind of a house are you going to build?" + </p> + <p> + "I was thinking about that. Three-story and an attic." + </p> + <p> + "But what kind?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, I don't hardly know. Brick, I suppose." + </p> + <p> + "Brick—bosh." + </p> + <p> + "Why? What is your idea?" + </p> + <p> + "Brown stone front—French plate glass—billiard-room off the + dining- room—statuary and paintings—shrubbery and two-acre + grass plat—greenhouse—iron dog on the front stoop—gray + horses—landau, and a coachman with a bug on his hat!" + </p> + <p> + "By George!" + </p> + <p> + A long pause. + </p> + <p> + "Cal., when are you going to Europe?" + </p> + <p> + "Well—I hadn't thought of that. When are you?" + </p> + <p> + "In the Spring." + </p> + <p> + "Going to be gone all summer?" + </p> + <p> + "All summer! I shall remain there three years." + </p> + <p> + "No—but are you in earnest?" + </p> + <p> + "Indeed I am." + </p> + <p> + "I will go along too." + </p> + <p> + "Why of course you will." + </p> + <p> + "What part of Europe shall you go to?" + </p> + <p> + "All parts. France, England, Germany—Spain, Italy, Switzerland, + Syria, Greece, Palestine, Arabia, Persia, Egypt—all over—everywhere." + </p> + <p> + "I'm agreed." + </p> + <p> + "All right." + </p> + <p> + "Won't it be a swell trip!" + </p> + <p> + "We'll spend forty or fifty thousand dollars trying to make it one, + anyway." + </p> + <p> + Another long pause. + </p> + <p> + "Higbie, we owe the butcher six dollars, and he has been threatening to + stop our—" + </p> + <p> + "Hang the butcher!" + </p> + <p> + "Amen." + </p> + <p> + And so it went on. By three o'clock we found it was no use, and so we got + up and played cribbage and smoked pipes till sunrise. It was my week to + cook. I always hated cooking—now, I abhorred it. + </p> + <p> + The news was all over town. The former excitement was great—this one + was greater still. I walked the streets serene and happy. Higbie said the + foreman had been offered two hundred thousand dollars for his third of the + mine. I said I would like to see myself selling for any such price. My + ideas were lofty. My figure was a million. Still, I honestly believe that + if I had been offered it, it would have had no other effect than to make + me hold off for more. + </p> + <p> + I found abundant enjoyment in being rich. A man offered me a three- + hundred-dollar horse, and wanted to take my simple, unendorsed note for + it. That brought the most realizing sense I had yet had that I was + actually rich, beyond shadow of doubt. It was followed by numerous other + evidences of a similar nature—among which I may mention the fact of + the butcher leaving us a double supply of meat and saying nothing about + money. + </p> + <p> + By the laws of the district, the "locators" or claimants of a ledge were + obliged to do a fair and reasonable amount of work on their new property + within ten days after the date of the location, or the property was + forfeited, and anybody could go and seize it that chose. So we determined + to go to work the next day. About the middle of the afternoon, as I was + coming out of the post office, I met a Mr. Gardiner, who told me that + Capt. John Nye was lying dangerously ill at his place (the "Nine-Mile + Ranch"), and that he and his wife were not able to give him nearly as much + care and attention as his case demanded. I said if he would wait for me a + moment, I would go down and help in the sick room. I ran to the cabin to + tell Higbie. He was not there, but I left a note on the table for him, and + a few minutes later I left town in Gardiner's wagon. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch41" id="linkch41"></a> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Captain Nye was very ill indeed, with spasmodic rheumatism. But the old + gentleman was himself—which is to say, he was kind-hearted and + agreeable when comfortable, but a singularly violent wild-cat when things + did not go well. He would be smiling along pleasantly enough, when a + sudden spasm of his disease would take him and he would go out of his + smile into a perfect fury. He would groan and wail and howl with the + anguish, and fill up the odd chinks with the most elaborate profanity that + strong convictions and a fine fancy could contrive. With fair opportunity + he could swear very well and handle his adjectives with considerable + judgment; but when the spasm was on him it was painful to listen to him, + he was so awkward. However, I had seen him nurse a sick man himself and + put up patiently with the inconveniences of the situation, and + consequently I was willing that he should have full license now that his + own turn had come. He could not disturb me, with all his raving and + ranting, for my mind had work on hand, and it labored on diligently, night + and day, whether my hands were idle or employed. I was altering and + amending the plans for my house, and thinking over the propriety of having + the billard-room in the attic, instead of on the same floor with the + dining-room; also, I was trying to decide between green and blue for the + upholstery of the drawing-room, for, although my preference was blue I + feared it was a color that would be too easily damaged by dust and + sunlight; likewise while I was content to put the coachman in a modest + livery, I was uncertain about a footman—I needed one, and was even + resolved to have one, but wished he could properly appear and perform his + functions out of livery, for I somewhat dreaded so much show; and yet, + inasmuch as my late grandfather had had a coachman and such things, but no + liveries, I felt rather drawn to beat him;—or beat his ghost, at any + rate; I was also systematizing the European trip, and managed to get it + all laid out, as to route and length of time to be devoted to it—everything, + with one exception—namely, whether to cross the desert from Cairo to + Jerusalem per camel, or go by sea to Beirut, and thence down through the + country per caravan. Meantime I was writing to the friends at home every + day, instructing them concerning all my plans and intentions, and + directing them to look up a handsome homestead for my mother and agree + upon a price for it against my coming, and also directing them to sell my + share of the Tennessee land and tender the proceeds to the widows' and + orphans' fund of the typographical union of which I had long been a member + in good standing. [This Tennessee land had been in the possession of the + family many years, and promised to confer high fortune upon us some day; + it still promises it, but in a less violent way.] + </p> + <p> + <a name="link287" id="link287"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="287.jpg (69K)" src="images/287.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + When I had been nursing the Captain nine days he was somewhat better, but + very feeble. During the afternoon we lifted him into a chair and gave him + an alcoholic vapor bath, and then set about putting him on the bed again. + We had to be exceedingly careful, for the least jar produced pain. + Gardiner had his shoulders and I his legs; in an unfortunate moment I + stumbled and the patient fell heavily on the bed in an agony of torture. I + never heard a man swear so in my life. He raved like a maniac, and tried + to snatch a revolver from the table—but I got it. He ordered me out + of the house, and swore a world of oaths that he would kill me wherever he + caught me when he got on his feet again. It was simply a passing fury, and + meant nothing. I knew he would forget it in an hour, and maybe be sorry + for it, too; but it angered me a little, at the moment. So much so, + indeed, that I determined to go back to Esmeralda. I thought he was able + to get along alone, now, since he was on the war path. I took supper, and + as soon as the moon rose, began my nine-mile journey, on foot. + </p> + <p> + Even millionaires needed no horses, in those days, for a mere nine-mile + jaunt without baggage. + </p> + <p> + As I "raised the hill" overlooking the town, it lacked fifteen minutes of + twelve. I glanced at the hill over beyond the canyon, and in the bright + moonlight saw what appeared to be about half the population of the village + massed on and around the Wide West croppings. My heart gave an exulting + bound, and I said to myself, "They have made a new strike to- night—and + struck it richer than ever, no doubt." I started over there, but gave it + up. I said the "strick" would keep, and I had climbed hill enough for one + night. I went on down through the town, and as I was passing a little + German bakery, a woman ran out and begged me to come in and help her. She + said her husband had a fit. I went in, and judged she was right—he + appeared to have a hundred of them, compressed into one. Two Germans were + there, trying to hold him, and not making much of a success of it. I ran + up the street half a block or so and routed out a sleeping doctor, brought + him down half dressed, and we four wrestled with the maniac, and doctored, + drenched and bled him, for more than an hour, and the poor German woman + did the crying. He grew quiet, now, and the doctor and I withdrew and left + him to his friends. + </p> + <p> + It was a little after one o'clock. As I entered the cabin door, tired but + jolly, the dingy light of a tallow candle revealed Higbie, sitting by the + pine table gazing stupidly at my note, which he held in his fingers, and + looking pale, old, and haggard. I halted, and looked at him. He looked at + me, stolidly. I said: + </p> + <p> + "Higbie, what—what is it?" + </p> + <p> + "We're ruined—we didn't do the work—THE BLIND LEAD'S + RELOCATED!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link288" id="link288"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="288.jpg (57K)" src="images/288.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It was enough. I sat down sick, grieved—broken-hearted, indeed. A + minute before, I was rich and brimful of vanity; I was a pauper now, and + very meek. We sat still an hour, busy with thought, busy with vain and + useless self-upbraidings, busy with "Why didn't I do this, and why didn't + I do that," but neither spoke a word. Then we dropped into mutual + explanations, and the mystery was cleared away. It came out that Higbie + had depended on me, as I had on him, and as both of us had on the foreman. + The folly of it! It was the first time that ever staid and steadfast + Higbie had left an important matter to chance or failed to be true to his + full share of a responsibility. + </p> + <p> + But he had never seen my note till this moment, and this moment was the + first time he had been in the cabin since the day he had seen me last. He, + also, had left a note for me, on that same fatal afternoon—had + ridden up on horseback, and looked through the window, and being in a + hurry and not seeing me, had tossed the note into the cabin through a + broken pane. Here it was, on the floor, where it had remained undisturbed + for nine days: + </p> + <p> + "Don't fail to do the work before the ten days expire. W. has passed + through and given me notice. I am to join him at Mono Lake, and we shall + go on from there to-night. He says he will find it this time, sure. CAL." + </p> + <p> + "W." meant Whiteman, of course. That thrice accursed "cement!" + </p> + <p> + That was the way of it. An old miner, like Higbie, could no more withstand + the fascination of a mysterious mining excitement like this "cement" + foolishness, than he could refrain from eating when he was famishing. + Higbie had been dreaming about the marvelous cement for months; and now, + against his better judgment, he had gone off and "taken the chances" on my + keeping secure a mine worth a million undiscovered cement veins. They had + not been followed this time. His riding out of town in broad daylight was + such a common-place thing to do that it had not attracted any attention. + He said they prosecuted their search in the fastnesses of the mountains + during nine days, without success; they could not find the cement. Then a + ghastly fear came over him that something might have happened to prevent + the doing of the necessary work to hold the blind lead (though indeed he + thought such a thing hardly possible), and forthwith he started home with + all speed. He would have reached Esmeralda in time, but his horse broke + down and he had to walk a great part of the distance. And so it happened + that as he came into Esmeralda by one road, I entered it by another. His + was the superior energy, however, for he went straight to the Wide West, + instead of turning aside as I had done—and he arrived there about + five or ten minutes too late! The "notice" was already up, the + "relocation" of our mine completed beyond recall, and the crowd rapidly + dispersing. He learned some facts before he left the ground. The foreman + had not been seen about the streets since the night we had located the + mine—a telegram had called him to California on a matter of life and + death, it was said. At any rate he had done no work and the watchful eyes + of the community were taking note of the fact. At midnight of this woful + tenth day, the ledge would be "relocatable," and by eleven o'clock the + hill was black with men prepared to do the relocating. That was the crowd + I had seen when I fancied a new "strike" had been made—idiot that I + was. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link290" id="link290"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="290.jpg (141K)" src="images/290.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + [We three had the same right to relocate the lead that other people had, + provided we were quick enough.] As midnight was announced, fourteen men, + duly armed and ready to back their proceedings, put up their "notice" and + proclaimed their ownership of the blind lead, under the new name of the + "Johnson." But A. D. Allen our partner (the foreman) put in a sudden + appearance about that time, with a cocked revolver in his hand, and said + his name must be added to the list, or he would "thin out the Johnson + company some." He was a manly, splendid, determined fellow, and known to + be as good as his word, and therefore a compromise was effected. They put + in his name for a hundred feet, reserving to themselves the customary two + hundred feet each. Such was the history of the night's events, as Higbie + gathered from a friend on the way home. + </p> + <p> + Higbie and I cleared out on a new mining excitement the next morning, glad + to get away from the scene of our sufferings, and after a month or two of + hardship and disappointment, returned to Esmeralda once more. Then we + learned that the Wide West and the Johnson companies had consolidated; + that the stock, thus united, comprised five thousand feet, or shares; that + the foreman, apprehending tiresome litigation, and considering such a huge + concern unwieldy, had sold his hundred feet for ninety thousand dollars in + gold and gone home to the States to enjoy it. If the stock was worth such + a gallant figure, with five thousand shares in the corporation, it makes + me dizzy to think what it would have been worth with only our original six + hundred in it. It was the difference between six hundred men owning a + house and five thousand owning it. We would have been millionaires if we + had only worked with pick and spade one little day on our property and so + secured our ownership! + </p> + <p> + It reads like a wild fancy sketch, but the evidence of many witnesses, and + likewise that of the official records of Esmeralda District, is easily + obtainable in proof that it is a true history. I can always have it to say + that I was absolutely and unquestionably worth a million dollars, once, + for ten days. + </p> + <p> + A year ago my esteemed and in every way estimable old millionaire partner, + Higbie, wrote me from an obscure little mining camp in California that + after nine or ten years of buffetings and hard striving, he was at last in + a position where he could command twenty-five hundred dollars, and said he + meant to go into the fruit business in a modest way. How such a thought + would have insulted him the night we lay in our cabin planning European + trips and brown stone houses on Russian Hill! + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch42" id="linkch42"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + What to do next? + </p> + <p> + It was a momentous question. I had gone out into the world to shift for + myself, at the age of thirteen (for my father had endorsed for friends; + and although he left us a sumptuous legacy of pride in his fine Virginian + stock and its national distinction, I presently found that I could not + live on that alone without occasional bread to wash it down with). I had + gained a livelihood in various vocations, but had not dazzled anybody with + my successes; still the list was before me, and the amplest liberty in the + matter of choosing, provided I wanted to work—which I did not, after + being so wealthy. I had once been a grocery clerk, for one day, but had + consumed so much sugar in that time that I was relieved from further duty + by the proprietor; said he wanted me outside, so that he could have my + custom. I had studied law an entire week, and then given it up because it + was so prosy and tiresome. I had engaged briefly in the study of + blacksmithing, but wasted so much time trying to fix the bellows so that + it would blow itself, that the master turned me adrift in disgrace, and + told me I would come to no good. I had been a bookseller's clerk for + awhile, but the customers bothered me so much I could not read with any + comfort, and so the proprietor gave me a furlough and forgot to put a + limit to it. I had clerked in a drug store part of a summer, but my + prescriptions were unlucky, and we appeared to sell more stomach pumps + than soda water. So I had to go. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link293" id="link293"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="293.jpg (43K)" src="images/293.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I had made of myself a tolerable printer, under the impression that I + would be another Franklin some day, but somehow had missed the connection + thus far. There was no berth open in the Esmeralda Union, and besides I + had always been such a slow compositor that I looked with envy upon the + achievements of apprentices of two years' standing; and when I took a + "take," foremen were in the habit of suggesting that it would be wanted + "some time during the year." + </p> + <p> + I was a good average St. Louis and New Orleans pilot and by no means + ashamed of my abilities in that line; wages were two hundred and fifty + dollars a month and no board to pay, and I did long to stand behind a + wheel again and never roam any more—but I had been making such an + ass of myself lately in grandiloquent letters home about my blind lead and + my European excursion that I did what many and many a poor disappointed + miner had done before; said "It is all over with me now, and I will never + go back home to be pitied—and snubbed." I had been a private + secretary, a silver miner and a silver mill operative, and amounted to + less than nothing in each, and now— + </p> + <p> + What to do next? + </p> + <p> + I yielded to Higbie's appeals and consented to try the mining once more. + We climbed far up on the mountain side and went to work on a little + rubbishy claim of ours that had a shaft on it eight feet deep. Higbie + descended into it and worked bravely with his pick till he had loosened up + a deal of rock and dirt and then I went down with a long-handled shovel + (the most awkward invention yet contrived by man) to throw it out. You + must brace the shovel forward with the side of your knee till it is full, + and then, with a skilful toss, throw it backward over your left shoulder. + I made the toss, and landed the mess just on the edge of the shaft and it + all came back on my head and down the back of my neck. I never said a + word, but climbed out and walked home. I inwardly resolved that I would + starve before I would make a target of myself and shoot rubbish at it with + a long-handled shovel. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link294" id="link294"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="294.jpg (50K)" src="images/294.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I sat down, in the cabin, and gave myself up to solid misery—so to + speak. Now in pleasanter days I had amused myself with writing letters to + the chief paper of the Territory, the Virginia Daily Territorial + Enterprise, and had always been surprised when they appeared in print. My + good opinion of the editors had steadily declined; for it seemed to me + that they might have found something better to fill up with than my + literature. I had found a letter in the post office as I came home from + the hill side, and finally I opened it. Eureka! [I never did know what + Eureka meant, but it seems to be as proper a word to heave in as any when + no other that sounds pretty offers.] It was a deliberate offer to me of + Twenty-Five Dollars a week to come up to Virginia and be city editor of + the Enterprise. + </p> + <p> + I would have challenged the publisher in the "blind lead" days—I + wanted to fall down and worship him, now. Twenty-Five Dollars a week—it + looked like bloated luxury—a fortune a sinful and lavish waste of + money. But my transports cooled when I thought of my inexperience and + consequent unfitness for the position—and straightway, on top of + this, my long array of failures rose up before me. Yet if I refused this + place I must presently become dependent upon somebody for my bread, a + thing necessarily distasteful to a man who had never experienced such a + humiliation since he was thirteen years old. Not much to be proud of, + since it is so common—but then it was all I had to be proud of. So I + was scared into being a city editor. I would have declined, otherwise. + Necessity is the mother of "taking chances." I do not doubt that if, at + that time, I had been offered a salary to translate the Talmud from the + original Hebrew, I would have accepted—albeit with diffidence and + some misgivings—and thrown as much variety into it as I could for + the money. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link295" id="link295"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="295.jpg (34K)" src="images/295.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I went up to Virginia and entered upon my new vocation. I was a rusty + looking city editor, I am free to confess—coatless, slouch hat, blue + woolen shirt, pantaloons stuffed into boot-tops, whiskered half down to + the waist, and the universal navy revolver slung to my belt. But I secured + a more Christian costume and discarded the revolver. + </p> + <p> + I had never had occasion to kill anybody, nor ever felt a desire to do so, + but had worn the thing in deference to popular sentiment, and in order + that I might not, by its absence, be offensively conspicuous, and a + subject of remark. But the other editors, and all the printers, carried + revolvers. I asked the chief editor and proprietor (Mr. Goodman, I will + call him, since it describes him as well as any name could do) for some + instructions with regard to my duties, and he told me to go all over town + and ask all sorts of people all sorts of questions, make notes of the + information gained, and write them out for publication. And he added: + </p> + <p> + "Never say 'We learn' so-and-so, or 'It is reported,' or 'It is rumored,' + or 'We understand' so-and-so, but go to headquarters and get the absolute + facts, and then speak out and say 'It is so-and-so.' Otherwise, people + will not put confidence in your news. Unassailable certainly is the thing + that gives a newspaper the firmest and most valuable reputation." + </p> + <p> + It was the whole thing in a nut-shell; and to this day when I find a + reporter commencing his article with "We understand," I gather a suspicion + that he has not taken as much pains to inform himself as he ought to have + done. I moralize well, but I did not always practise well when I was a + city editor; I let fancy get the upper hand of fact too often when there + was a dearth of news. I can never forget my first day's experience as a + reporter. I wandered about town questioning everybody, boring everybody, + and finding out that nobody knew anything. At the end of five hours my + notebook was still barren. I spoke to Mr. Goodman. He said: + </p> + <p> + "Dan used to make a good thing out of the hay wagons in a dry time when + there were no fires or inquests. Are there no hay wagons in from the + Truckee? If there are, you might speak of the renewed activity and all + that sort of thing, in the hay business, you know. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link296" id="link296"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="296.jpg (34K)" src="images/296.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "It isn't sensational or exciting, but it fills up and looks business + like." + </p> + <p> + I canvassed the city again and found one wretched old hay truck dragging + in from the country. But I made affluent use of it. I multiplied it by + sixteen, brought it into town from sixteen different directions, made + sixteen separate items out of it, and got up such another sweat about hay + as Virginia City had never seen in the world before. + </p> + <p> + This was encouraging. Two nonpareil columns had to be filled, and I was + getting along. Presently, when things began to look dismal again, a + desperado killed a man in a saloon and joy returned once more. I never was + so glad over any mere trifle before in my life. I said to the murderer: + </p> + <p> + "Sir, you are a stranger to me, but you have done me a kindness this day + which I can never forget. If whole years of gratitude can be to you any + slight compensation, they shall be yours. I was in trouble and you have + relieved me nobly and at a time when all seemed dark and drear. Count me + your friend from this time forth, for I am not a man to forget a favor." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link297" id="link297"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="297.jpg (44K)" src="images/297.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + If I did not really say that to him I at least felt a sort of itching + desire to do it. I wrote up the murder with a hungry attention to details, + and when it was finished experienced but one regret—namely, that + they had not hanged my benefactor on the spot, so that I could work him up + too. + </p> + <p> + Next I discovered some emigrant wagons going into camp on the plaza and + found that they had lately come through the hostile Indian country and had + fared rather roughly. I made the best of the item that the circumstances + permitted, and felt that if I were not confined within rigid limits by the + presence of the reporters of the other papers I could add particulars that + would make the article much more interesting. However, I found one wagon + that was going on to California, and made some judicious inquiries of the + proprietor. When I learned, through his short and surly answers to my + cross-questioning, that he was certainly going on and would not be in the + city next day to make trouble, I got ahead of the other papers, for I took + down his list of names and added his party to the killed and wounded. + Having more scope here, I put this wagon through an Indian fight that to + this day has no parallel in history. + </p> + <p> + My two columns were filled. When I read them over in the morning I felt + that I had found my legitimate occupation at last. I reasoned within + myself that news, and stirring news, too, was what a paper needed, and I + felt that I was peculiarly endowed with the ability to furnish it. Mr. + Goodman said that I was as good a reporter as Dan. I desired no higher + commendation. With encouragement like that, I felt that I could take my + pen and murder all the immigrants on the plains if need be and the + interests of the paper demanded it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link298" id="link298"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="298.jpg (22K)" src="images/298.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch43" id="linkch43"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + However, as I grew better acquainted with the business and learned the run + of the sources of information I ceased to require the aid of fancy to any + large extent, and became able to fill my columns without diverging + noticeably from the domain of fact. + </p> + <p> + I struck up friendships with the reporters of the other journals, and we + swapped "regulars" with each other and thus economized work. "Regulars" + are permanent sources of news, like courts, bullion returns, "clean-ups" + at the quartz mills, and inquests. Inasmuch as everybody went armed, we + had an inquest about every day, and so this department was naturally set + down among the "regulars." We had lively papers in those days. My great + competitor among the reporters was Boggs of the Union. He was an excellent + reporter. Once in three or four months he would get a little intoxicated, + but as a general thing he was a wary and cautious drinker although always + ready to tamper a little with the enemy. He had the advantage of me in one + thing; he could get the monthly public school report and I could not, + because the principal hated the Enterprise. One snowy night when the + report was due, I started out sadly wondering how I was going to get it. + Presently, a few steps up the almost deserted street I stumbled on Boggs + and asked him where he was going. + </p> + <p> + "After the school report." + </p> + <p> + "I'll go along with you." + </p> + <p> + "No, sir. I'll excuse you." + </p> + <p> + "Just as you say." + </p> + <p> + A saloon-keeper's boy passed by with a steaming pitcher of hot punch, and + Boggs snuffed the fragrance gratefully. He gazed fondly after the boy and + saw him start up the Enterprise stairs. I said: + </p> + <p> + "I wish you could help me get that school business, but since you can't, I + must run up to the Union office and see if I can get them to let me have a + proof of it after they have set it up, though I don't begin to suppose + they will. Good night." + </p> + <p> + "Hold on a minute. I don't mind getting the report and sitting around with + the boys a little, while you copy it, if you're willing to drop down to + the principal's with me." + </p> + <p> + "Now you talk like a rational being. Come along." + </p> + <p> + We plowed a couple of blocks through the snow, got the report and returned + to our office. It was a short document and soon copied. Meantime Boggs + helped himself to the punch. I gave the manuscript back to him and we + started out to get an inquest, for we heard pistol shots near by. We got + the particulars with little loss of time, for it was only an inferior sort + of bar-room murder, and of little interest to the public, and then we + separated. Away at three o'clock in the morning, when we had gone to press + and were having a relaxing concert as usual—for some of the printers + were good singers and others good performers on the guitar and on that + atrocity the accordion—the proprietor of the Union strode in and + desired to know if anybody had heard anything of Boggs or the school + report. We stated the case, and all turned out to help hunt for the + delinquent. We found him standing on a table in a saloon, with an old tin + lantern in one hand and the school report in the other, haranguing a gang + of intoxicated Cornish miners on the iniquity of squandering the public + moneys on education "when hundreds and hundreds of honest hard-working men + are literally starving for whiskey." [Riotous applause.] He had been + assisting in a regal spree with those parties for hours. We dragged him + away and put him to bed. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link301" id="link301"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="301.jpg (93K)" src="images/301.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Of course there was no school report in the Union, and Boggs held me + accountable, though I was innocent of any intention or desire to compass + its absence from that paper and was as sorry as any one that the + misfortune had occurred. + </p> + <p> + But we were perfectly friendly. The day that the school report was next + due, the proprietor of the "Genessee" mine furnished us a buggy and asked + us to go down and write something about the property—a very common + request and one always gladly acceded to when people furnished buggies, + for we were as fond of pleasure excursions as other people. In due time we + arrived at the "mine"—nothing but a hole in the ground ninety feet + deep, and no way of getting down into it but by holding on to a rope and + being lowered with a windlass. The workmen had just gone off somewhere to + dinner. I was not strong enough to lower Boggs's bulk; so I took an + unlighted candle in my teeth, made a loop for my foot in the end of the + rope, implored Boggs not to go to sleep or let the windlass get the start + of him, and then swung out over the shaft. I reached the bottom muddy and + bruised about the elbows, but safe. I lit the candle, made an examination + of the rock, selected some specimens and shouted to Boggs to hoist away. + No answer. Presently a head appeared in the circle of daylight away aloft, + and a voice came down: + </p> + <p> + "Are you all set?" + </p> + <p> + "All set—hoist away." + </p> + <p> + "Are you comfortable?" + </p> + <p> + "Perfectly." + </p> + <p> + "Could you wait a little?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh certainly—no particular hurry." + </p> + <p> + "Well—good by." + </p> + <p> + "Why? Where are you going?" + </p> + <p> + "After the school report!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link302" id="link302"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="302.jpg (71K)" src="images/302.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And he did. I staid down there an hour, and surprised the workmen when + they hauled up and found a man on the rope instead of a bucket of rock. I + walked home, too—five miles—up hill. We had no school report + next morning; but the Union had. + </p> + <p> + Six months after my entry into journalism the grand "flush times" of + Silverland began, and they continued with unabated splendor for three + years. All difficulty about filling up the "local department" ceased, and + the only trouble now was how to make the lengthened columns hold the world + of incidents and happenings that came to our literary net every day. + Virginia had grown to be the "livest" town, for its age and population, + that America had ever produced. The sidewalks swarmed with people—to + such an extent, indeed, that it was generally no easy matter to stem the + human tide. The streets themselves were just as crowded with quartz + wagons, freight teams and other vehicles. The procession was endless. So + great was the pack, that buggies frequently had to wait half an hour for + an opportunity to cross the principal street. Joy sat on every + countenance, and there was a glad, almost fierce, intensity in every eye, + that told of the money-getting schemes that were seething in every brain + and the high hope that held sway in every heart. Money was as plenty as + dust; every individual considered himself wealthy, and a melancholy + countenance was nowhere to be seen. There were military companies, fire + companies, brass bands, banks, hotels, theatres, "hurdy- gurdy houses," + wide-open gambling palaces, political pow-wows, civic processions, street + fights, murders, inquests, riots, a whiskey mill every fifteen steps, a + Board of Aldermen, a Mayor, a City Surveyor, a City Engineer, a Chief of + the Fire Department, with First, Second and Third Assistants, a Chief of + Police, City Marshal and a large police force, two Boards of Mining + Brokers, a dozen breweries and half a dozen jails and station-houses in + full operation, and some talk of building a church. The "flush times" were + in magnificent flower! Large fire-proof brick buildings were going up in + the principal streets, and the wooden suburbs were spreading out in all + directions. Town lots soared up to prices that were amazing. + </p> + <p> + The great "Comstock lode" stretched its opulent length straight through + the town from north to south, and every mine on it was in diligent process + of development. One of these mines alone employed six hundred and + seventy-five men, and in the matter of elections the adage was, "as the + 'Gould and Curry' goes, so goes the city." Laboring men's wages were four + and six dollars a day, and they worked in three "shifts" or gangs, and the + blasting and picking and shoveling went on without ceasing, night and day. + </p> + <p> + The "city" of Virginia roosted royally midway up the steep side of Mount + Davidson, seven thousand two hundred feet above the level of the sea, and + in the clear Nevada atmosphere was visible from a distance of fifty miles! + It claimed a population of fifteen thousand to eighteen thousand, and all + day long half of this little army swarmed the streets like bees and the + other half swarmed among the drifts and tunnels of the "Comstock," + hundreds of feet down in the earth directly under those same streets. + Often we felt our chairs jar, and heard the faint boom of a blast down in + the bowels of the earth under the office. + </p> + <p> + The mountain side was so steep that the entire town had a slant to it like + a roof. Each street was a terrace, and from each to the next street below + the descent was forty or fifty feet. The fronts of the houses were level + with the street they faced, but their rear first floors were propped on + lofty stilts; a man could stand at a rear first floor window of a C street + house and look down the chimneys of the row of houses below him facing D + street. It was a laborious climb, in that thin atmosphere, to ascend from + D to A street, and you were panting and out of breath when you got there; + but you could turn around and go down again like a house a-fire—so + to speak. The atmosphere was so rarified, on account of the great + altitude, that one's blood lay near the surface always, and the scratch of + a pin was a disaster worth worrying about, for the chances were that a + grievous erysipelas would ensue. But to offset this, the thin atmosphere + seemed to carry healing to gunshot wounds, and therefore, to simply shoot + your adversary through both lungs was a thing not likely to afford you any + permanent satisfaction, for he would be nearly certain to be around + looking for you within the month, and not with an opera glass, either. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link304" id="link304"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="304.jpg (102K)" src="images/304.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + From Virginia's airy situation one could look over a vast, far-reaching + panorama of mountain ranges and deserts; and whether the day was bright or + overcast, whether the sun was rising or setting, or flaming in the zenith, + or whether night and the moon held sway, the spectacle was always + impressive and beautiful. Over your head Mount Davidson lifted its gray + dome, and before and below you a rugged canyon clove the battlemented + hills, making a sombre gateway through which a soft-tinted desert was + glimpsed, with the silver thread of a river winding through it, bordered + with trees which many miles of distance diminished to a delicate fringe; + and still further away the snowy mountains rose up and stretched their + long barrier to the filmy horizon—far enough beyond a lake that + burned in the desert like a fallen sun, though that, itself, lay fifty + miles removed. Look from your window where you would, there was + fascination in the picture. At rare intervals—but very rare—there + were clouds in our skies, and then the setting sun would gild and flush + and glorify this mighty expanse of scenery with a bewildering pomp of + color that held the eye like a spell and moved the spirit like music. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch44" id="linkch44"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + My salary was increased to forty dollars a week. But I seldom drew it. I + had plenty of other resources, and what were two broad twenty-dollar gold + pieces to a man who had his pockets full of such and a cumbersome + abundance of bright half dollars besides? [Paper money has never come into + use on the Pacific coast.] Reporting was lucrative, and every man in the + town was lavish with his money and his "feet." The city and all the great + mountain side were riddled with mining shafts. There were more mines than + miners. True, not ten of these mines were yielding rock worth hauling to a + mill, but everybody said, "Wait till the shaft gets down where the ledge + comes in solid, and then you will see!" So nobody was discouraged. These + were nearly all "wild cat" mines, and wholly worthless, but nobody + believed it then. The "Ophir," the "Gould & Curry," the "Mexican," and + other great mines on the Comstock lead in Virginia and Gold Hill were + turning out huge piles of rich rock every day, and every man believed that + his little wild cat claim was as good as any on the "main lead" and would + infallibly be worth a thousand dollars a foot when he "got down where it + came in solid." Poor fellow, he was blessedly blind to the fact that he + never would see that day. So the thousand wild cat shafts burrowed deeper + and deeper into the earth day by day, and all men were beside themselves + with hope and happiness. How they labored, prophesied, exulted! Surely + nothing like it was ever seen before since the world began. Every one of + these wild cat mines—not mines, but holes in the ground over + imaginary mines—was incorporated and had handsomely engraved "stock" + and the stock was salable, too. It was bought and sold with a feverish + avidity in the boards every day. You could go up on the mountain side, + scratch around and find a ledge (there was no lack of them), put up a + "notice" with a grandiloquent name in it, start a shaft, get your stock + printed, and with nothing whatever to prove that your mine was worth a + straw, you could put your stock on the market and sell out for hundreds + and even thousands of dollars. To make money, and make it fast, was as + easy as it was to eat your dinner. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link307" id="link307"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="307.jpg (54K)" src="images/307.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Every man owned "feet" in fifty different wild cat mines and considered + his fortune made. Think of a city with not one solitary poor man in it! + One would suppose that when month after month went by and still not a wild + cat mine (by wild cat I mean, in general terms, any claim not located on + the mother vein, i.e., the "Comstock") yielded a ton of rock worth + crushing, the people would begin to wonder if they were not putting too + much faith in their prospective riches; but there was not a thought of + such a thing. They burrowed away, bought and sold, and were happy. + </p> + <p> + New claims were taken up daily, and it was the friendly custom to run + straight to the newspaper offices, give the reporter forty or fifty + "feet," and get them to go and examine the mine and publish a notice of + it. They did not care a fig what you said about the property so you said + something. Consequently we generally said a word or two to the effect that + the "indications" were good, or that the ledge was "six feet wide," or + that the rock "resembled the Comstock" (and so it did—but as a + general thing the resemblance was not startling enough to knock you down). + If the rock was moderately promising, we followed the custom of the + country, used strong adjectives and frothed at the mouth as if a very + marvel in silver discoveries had transpired. If the mine was a "developed" + one, and had no pay ore to show (and of course it hadn't), we praised the + tunnel; said it was one of the most infatuating tunnels in the land; + driveled and driveled about the tunnel till we ran entirely out of + ecstasies—but never said a word about the rock. We would squander + half a column of adulation on a shaft, or a new wire rope, or a dressed + pine windlass, or a fascinating force pump, and close with a burst of + admiration of the "gentlemanly and efficient Superintendent" of the mine—but + never utter a whisper about the rock. And those people were always + pleased, always satisfied. Occasionally we patched up and varnished our + reputation for discrimination and stern, undeviating accuracy, by giving + some old abandoned claim a blast that ought to have made its dry bones + rattle—and then somebody would seize it and sell it on the fleeting + notoriety thus conferred upon it. + </p> + <p> + There was nothing in the shape of a mining claim that was not salable. We + received presents of "feet" every day. If we needed a hundred dollars or + so, we sold some; if not, we hoarded it away, satisfied that it would + ultimately be worth a thousand dollars a foot. I had a trunk about half + full of "stock." When a claim made a stir in the market and went up to a + high figure, I searched through my pile to see if I had any of its stock—and + generally found it. + </p> + <p> + The prices rose and fell constantly; but still a fall disturbed us little, + because a thousand dollars a foot was our figure, and so we were content + to let it fluctuate as much as it pleased till it reached it. My pile of + stock was not all given to me by people who wished their claims "noticed." + At least half of it was given me by persons who had no thought of such a + thing, and looked for nothing more than a simple verbal "thank you;" and + you were not even obliged by law to furnish that. If you are coming up the + street with a couple of baskets of apples in your hands, and you meet a + friend, you naturally invite him to take a few. That describes the + condition of things in Virginia in the "flush times." Every man had his + pockets full of stock, and it was the actual custom of the country to part + with small quantities of it to friends without the asking. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link309" id="link309"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="309.jpg (41K)" src="images/309.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Very often it was a good idea to close the transaction instantly, when a + man offered a stock present to a friend, for the offer was only good and + binding at that moment, and if the price went to a high figure shortly + afterward the procrastination was a thing to be regretted. Mr. Stewart + (Senator, now, from Nevada) one day told me he would give me twenty feet + of "Justis" stock if I would walk over to his office. It was worth five or + ten dollars a foot. I asked him to make the offer good for next day, as I + was just going to dinner. He said he would not be in town; so I risked it + and took my dinner instead of the stock. Within the week the price went up + to seventy dollars and afterward to a hundred and fifty, but nothing could + make that man yield. I suppose he sold that stock of mine and placed the + guilty proceeds in his own pocket. [My revenge will be found in the + accompanying portrait.] I met three friends one afternoon, who said they + had been buying "Overman" stock at auction at eight dollars a foot. One + said if I would come up to his office he would give me fifteen feet; + another said he would add fifteen; the third said he would do the same. + But I was going after an inquest and could not stop. A few weeks afterward + they sold all their "Overman" at six hundred dollars a foot and generously + came around to tell me about it—and also to urge me to accept of the + next forty-five feet of it that people tried to force on me. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link310" id="link310"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="310.jpg (27K)" src="images/310.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + These are actual facts, and I could make the list a long one and still + confine myself strictly to the truth. Many a time friends gave us as much + as twenty-five feet of stock that was selling at twenty-five dollars a + foot, and they thought no more of it than they would of offering a guest a + cigar. These were "flush times" indeed! I thought they were going to last + always, but somehow I never was much of a prophet. + </p> + <p> + To show what a wild spirit possessed the mining brain of the community, I + will remark that "claims" were actually "located" in excavations for + cellars, where the pick had exposed what seemed to be quartz veins—and + not cellars in the suburbs, either, but in the very heart of the city; and + forthwith stock would be issued and thrown on the market. It was small + matter who the cellar belonged to—the "ledge" belonged to the + finder, and unless the United States government interfered (inasmuch as + the government holds the primary right to mines of the noble metals in + Nevada—or at least did then), it was considered to be his privilege + to work it. Imagine a stranger staking out a mining claim among the costly + shrubbery in your front yard and calmly proceeding to lay waste the ground + with pick and shovel and blasting powder! It has been often done in + California. In the middle of one of the principal business streets of + Virginia, a man "located" a mining claim and began a shaft on it. He gave + me a hundred feet of the stock and I sold it for a fine suit of clothes + because I was afraid somebody would fall down the shaft and sue for + damages. I owned in another claim that was located in the middle of + another street; and to show how absurd people can be, that "East India" + stock (as it was called) sold briskly although there was an ancient tunnel + running directly under the claim and any man could go into it and see that + it did not cut a quartz ledge or anything that remotely resembled one. + </p> + <p> + One plan of acquiring sudden wealth was to "salt" a wild cat claim and + sell out while the excitement was up. The process was simple. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link311" id="link311"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="311.jpg (69K)" src="images/311.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The schemer located a worthless ledge, sunk a shaft on it, bought a wagon + load of rich "Comstock" ore, dumped a portion of it into the shaft and + piled the rest by its side, above ground. Then he showed the property to a + simpleton and sold it to him at a high figure. Of course the wagon load of + rich ore was all that the victim ever got out of his purchase. A most + remarkable case of "salting" was that of the "North Ophir." It was claimed + that this vein was a "remote extension" of the original "Ophir," a + valuable mine on the "Comstock." For a few days everybody was talking + about the rich developments in the North Ophir. It was said that it + yielded perfectly pure silver in small, solid lumps. I went to the place + with the owners, and found a shaft six or eight feet deep, in the bottom + of which was a badly shattered vein of dull, yellowish, unpromising rock. + One would as soon expect to find silver in a grindstone. We got out a pan + of the rubbish and washed it in a puddle, and sure enough, among the + sediment we found half a dozen black, bullet- looking pellets of + unimpeachable "native" silver. Nobody had ever heard of such a thing + before; science could not account for such a queer novelty. The stock rose + to sixty-five dollars a foot, and at this figure the world-renowned + tragedian, McKean Buchanan, bought a commanding interest and prepared to + quit the stage once more—he was always doing that. And then it + transpired that the mine had been "salted"—and not in any hackneyed + way, either, but in a singularly bold, barefaced and peculiarly original + and outrageous fashion. On one of the lumps of "native" silver was + discovered the minted legend, "TED STATES OF," and then it was plainly + apparent that the mine had been "salted" with melted half-dollars! The + lumps thus obtained had been blackened till they resembled native silver, + and were then mixed with the shattered rock in the bottom of the shaft. It + is literally true. Of course the price of the stock at once fell to + nothing, and the tragedian was ruined. But for this calamity we might have + lost McKean Buchanan from the stage. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch45" id="linkch45"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + The "flush times" held bravely on. Something over two years before, Mr. + Goodman and another journeyman printer, had borrowed forty dollars and set + out from San Francisco to try their fortunes in the new city of Virginia. + They found the Territorial Enterprise, a poverty-stricken weekly journal, + gasping for breath and likely to die. They bought it, type, fixtures, + good-will and all, for a thousand dollars, on long time. The editorial + sanctum, news-room, press-room, publication office, bed- chamber, parlor, + and kitchen were all compressed into one apartment and it was a small one, + too. The editors and printers slept on the floor, a Chinaman did their + cooking, and the "imposing-stone" was the general dinner table. But now + things were changed. The paper was a great daily, printed by steam; there + were five editors and twenty-three compositors; the subscription price was + sixteen dollars a year; the advertising rates were exorbitant, and the + columns crowded. The paper was clearing from six to ten thousand dollars a + month, and the "Enterprise Building" was finished and ready for occupation—a + stately fireproof brick. Every day from five all the way up to eleven + columns of "live" advertisements were left out or crowded into spasmodic + and irregular "supplements." + </p> + <p> + The "Gould & Curry" company were erecting a monster hundred-stamp mill + at a cost that ultimately fell little short of a million dollars. Gould + & Curry stock paid heavy dividends—a rare thing, and an + experience confined to the dozen or fifteen claims located on the "main + lead," the "Comstock." The Superintendent of the Gould & Curry lived, + rent free, in a fine house built and furnished by the company. He drove a + fine pair of horses which were a present from the company, and his salary + was twelve thousand dollars a year. The superintendent of another of the + great mines traveled in grand state, had a salary of twenty-eight thousand + dollars a year, and in a law suit in after days claimed that he was to + have had one per cent. on the gross yield of the bullion likewise. + </p> + <p> + Money was wonderfully plenty. The trouble was, not how to get it,—but + how to spend it, how to lavish it, get rid of it, squander it. And so it + was a happy thing that just at this juncture the news came over the wires + that a great United States Sanitary Commission had been formed and money + was wanted for the relief of the wounded sailors and soldiers of the Union + languishing in the Eastern hospitals. Right on the heels of it came word + that San Francisco had responded superbly before the telegram was half a + day old. Virginia rose as one man! A Sanitary Committee was hurriedly + organized, and its chairman mounted a vacant cart in C street and tried to + make the clamorous multitude understand that the rest of the committee + were flying hither and thither and working with all their might and main, + and that if the town would only wait an hour, an office would be ready, + books opened, and the Commission prepared to receive contributions. His + voice was drowned and his information lost in a ceaseless roar of cheers, + and demands that the money be received now—they swore they would not + wait. The chairman pleaded and argued, but, deaf to all entreaty, men + plowed their way through the throng and rained checks of gold coin into + the cart and skurried away for more. Hands clutching money, were thrust + aloft out of the jam by men who hoped this eloquent appeal would cleave a + road their strugglings could not open. The very Chinamen and Indians + caught the excitement and dashed their half dollars into the cart without + knowing or caring what it was all about. Women plunged into the crowd, + trimly attired, fought their way to the cart with their coin, and emerged + again, by and by, with their apparel in a state of hopeless dilapidation. + It was the wildest mob Virginia had ever seen and the most determined and + ungovernable; and when at last it abated its fury and dispersed, it had + not a penny in its pocket. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link315" id="link315"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="315.jpg (125K)" src="images/315.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + To use its own phraseology, it came there "flush" and went away "busted." + </p> + <p> + After that, the Commission got itself into systematic working order, and + for weeks the contributions flowed into its treasury in a generous stream. + Individuals and all sorts of organizations levied upon themselves a + regular weekly tax for the sanitary fund, graduated according to their + means, and there was not another grand universal outburst till the famous + "Sanitary Flour Sack" came our way. Its history is peculiar and + interesting. A former schoolmate of mine, by the name of Reuel Gridley, + was living at the little city of Austin, in the Reese river country, at + this time, and was the Democratic candidate for mayor. He and the + Republican candidate made an agreement that the defeated man should be + publicly presented with a fifty-pound sack of flour by the successful one, + and should carry it home on his shoulder. Gridley was defeated. The new + mayor gave him the sack of flour, and he shouldered it and carried it a + mile or two, from Lower Austin to his home in Upper Austin, attended by a + band of music and the whole population. Arrived there, he said he did not + need the flour, and asked what the people thought he had better do with + it. A voice said: + </p> + <p> + "Sell it to the highest bidder, for the benefit of the Sanitary fund." + </p> + <p> + The suggestion was greeted with a round of applause, and Gridley mounted a + dry-goods box and assumed the role of auctioneer. The bids went higher and + higher, as the sympathies of the pioneers awoke and expanded, till at last + the sack was knocked down to a mill man at two hundred and fifty dollars, + and his check taken. He was asked where he would have the flour delivered, + and he said: + </p> + <p> + "Nowhere—sell it again." + </p> + <p> + Now the cheers went up royally, and the multitude were fairly in the + spirit of the thing. So Gridley stood there and shouted and perspired till + the sun went down; and when the crowd dispersed he had sold the sack to + three hundred different people, and had taken in eight thousand dollars in + gold. And still the flour sack was in his possession. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link317" id="link317"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="317.jpg (157K)" src="images/317.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The news came to Virginia, and a telegram went back: + </p> + <p> + "Fetch along your flour sack!" + </p> + <p> + Thirty-six hours afterward Gridley arrived, and an afternoon mass meeting + was held in the Opera House, and the auction began. But the sack had come + sooner than it was expected; the people were not thoroughly aroused, and + the sale dragged. At nightfall only five thousand dollars had been + secured, and there was a crestfallen feeling in the community. However, + there was no disposition to let the matter rest here and acknowledge + vanquishment at the hands of the village of Austin. Till late in the night + the principal citizens were at work arranging the morrow's campaign, and + when they went to bed they had no fears for the result. At eleven the next + morning a procession of open carriages, attended by clamorous bands of + music and adorned with a moving display of flags, filed along C street and + was soon in danger of blockade by a huzzaing multitude of citizens. In the + first carriage sat Gridley, with the flour sack in prominent view, the + latter splendid with bright paint and gilt lettering; also in the same + carriage sat the mayor and the recorder. The other carriages contained the + Common Council, the editors and reporters, and other people of imposing + consequence. The crowd pressed to the corner of C and Taylor streets, + expecting the sale to begin there, but they were disappointed, and also + unspeakably surprised; for the cavalcade moved on as if Virginia had + ceased to be of importance, and took its way over the "divide," toward the + small town of Gold Hill. Telegrams had gone ahead to Gold Hill, Silver + City and Dayton, and those communities were at fever heat and rife for the + conflict. It was a very hot day, and wonderfully dusty. At the end of a + short half hour we descended into Gold Hill with drums beating and colors + flying, and enveloped in imposing clouds of dust. The whole population—men, + women and children, Chinamen and Indians, were massed in the main street, + all the flags in town were at the mast head, and the blare of the bands + was drowned in cheers. Gridley stood up and asked who would make the first + bid for the National Sanitary Flour Sack. Gen. W. said: + </p> + <p> + "The Yellow Jacket silver mining company offers a thousand dollars, coin!" + </p> + <p> + A tempest of applause followed. A telegram carried the news to Virginia, + and fifteen minutes afterward that city's population was massed in the + streets devouring the tidings—for it was part of the programme that + the bulletin boards should do a good work that day. Every few minutes a + new dispatch was bulletined from Gold Hill, and still the excitement grew. + Telegrams began to return to us from Virginia beseeching Gridley to bring + back the flour sack; but such was not the plan of the campaign. At the end + of an hour Gold Hill's small population had paid a figure for the flour + sack that awoke all the enthusiasm of Virginia when the grand total was + displayed upon the bulletin boards. Then the Gridley cavalcade moved on, a + giant refreshed with new lager beer and plenty of it—for the people + brought it to the carriages without waiting to measure it—and within + three hours more the expedition had carried Silver City and Dayton by + storm and was on its way back covered with glory. Every move had been + telegraphed and bulletined, and as the procession entered Virginia and + filed down C street at half past eight in the evening the town was abroad + in the thoroughfares, torches were glaring, flags flying, bands playing, + cheer on cheer cleaving the air, and the city ready to surrender at + discretion. The auction began, every bid was greeted with bursts of + applause, and at the end of two hours and a half a population of fifteen + thousand souls had paid in coin for a fifty-pound sack of flour a sum + equal to forty thousand dollars in greenbacks! It was at a rate in the + neighborhood of three dollars for each man, woman and child of the + population. The grand total would have been twice as large, but the + streets were very narrow, and hundreds who wanted to bid could not get + within a block of the stand, and could not make themselves heard. These + grew tired of waiting and many of them went home long before the auction + was over. This was the greatest day Virginia ever saw, perhaps. + </p> + <p> + Gridley sold the sack in Carson city and several California towns; also in + San Francisco. Then he took it east and sold it in one or two Atlantic + cities, I think. I am not sure of that, but I know that he finally carried + it to St. Louis, where a monster Sanitary Fair was being held, and after + selling it there for a large sum and helping on the enthusiasm by + displaying the portly silver bricks which Nevada's donation had produced, + he had the flour baked up into small cakes and retailed them at high + prices. + </p> + <p> + It was estimated that when the flour sack's mission was ended it had been + sold for a grand total of a hundred and fifty thousand dollars in + greenbacks! This is probably the only instance on record where common + family flour brought three thousand dollars a pound in the public market. + </p> + <p> + It is due to Mr. Gridley's memory to mention that the expenses of his + sanitary flour sack expedition of fifteen thousand miles, going and + returning, were paid in large part if not entirely, out of his own pocket. + The time he gave to it was not less than three months. Mr. Gridley was a + soldier in the Mexican war and a pioneer Californian. He died at Stockton, + California, in December, 1870, greatly regretted. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link319" id="link319"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="319.jpg (51K)" src="images/319.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch46" id="linkch46"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + There were nabobs in those days—in the "flush times," I mean. Every + rich strike in the mines created one or two. I call to mind several of + these. They were careless, easy-going fellows, as a general thing, and the + community at large was as much benefited by their riches as they were + themselves—possibly more, in some cases. + </p> + <p> + Two cousins, teamsters, did some hauling for a man and had to take a small + segregated portion of a silver mine in lieu of $300 cash. They gave an + outsider a third to open the mine, and they went on teaming. But not long. + Ten months afterward the mine was out of debt and paying each owner $8,000 + to $10,000 a month—say $100,000 a year. + </p> + <p> + One of the earliest nabobs that Nevada was delivered of wore $6,000 worth + of diamonds in his bosom, and swore he was unhappy because he could not + spend his money as fast as he made it. + </p> + <p> + Another Nevada nabob boasted an income that often reached $16,000 a month; + and he used to love to tell how he had worked in the very mine that + yielded it, for five dollars a day, when he first came to the country. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link321" id="link321"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="321.jpg (31K)" src="images/321.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The silver and sage-brush State has knowledge of another of these pets of + fortune—lifted from actual poverty to affluence almost in a single + night—who was able to offer $100,000 for a position of high official + distinction, shortly afterward, and did offer it—but failed to get + it, his politics not being as sound as his bank account. + </p> + <p> + Then there was John Smith. He was a good, honest, kind-hearted soul, born + and reared in the lower ranks of life, and miraculously ignorant. He drove + a team, and owned a small ranch—a ranch that paid him a comfortable + living, for although it yielded but little hay, what little it did yield + was worth from $250 to $300 in gold per ton in the market. Presently Smith + traded a few acres of the ranch for a small undeveloped silver mine in + Gold Hill. He opened the mine and built a little unpretending ten-stamp + mill. Eighteen months afterward he retired from the hay business, for his + mining income had reached a most comfortable figure. Some people said it + was $30,000 a month, and others said it was $60,000. Smith was very rich + at any rate. + </p> + <p> + And then he went to Europe and traveled. And when he came back he was + never tired of telling about the fine hogs he had seen in England, and the + gorgeous sheep he had seen in Spain, and the fine cattle he had noticed in + the vicinity of Rome. He was full of wonders of the old world, and advised + everybody to travel. He said a man never imagined what surprising things + there were in the world till he had traveled. + </p> + <p> + One day, on board ship, the passengers made up a pool of $500, which was + to be the property of the man who should come nearest to guessing the run + of the vessel for the next twenty-four hours. Next day, toward noon, the + figures were all in the purser's hands in sealed envelopes. Smith was + serene and happy, for he had been bribing the engineer. But another party + won the prize! Smith said: + </p> + <p> + "Here, that won't do! He guessed two miles wider of the mark than I did." + </p> + <p> + The purser said, "Mr. Smith, you missed it further than any man on board. + We traveled two hundred and eight miles yesterday." + </p> + <p> + "Well, sir," said Smith, "that's just where I've got you, for I guessed + two hundred and nine. If you'll look at my figgers again you'll find a 2 + and two 0's, which stands for 200, don't it?—and after 'em you'll + find a 9 (2009), which stands for two hundred and nine. I reckon I'll take + that money, if you please." + </p> + <p> + The Gould & Curry claim comprised twelve hundred feet, and it all + belonged originally to the two men whose names it bears. Mr. Curry owned + two thirds of it—and he said that he sold it out for twenty-five + hundred dollars in cash, and an old plug horse that ate up his market + value in hay and barley in seventeen days by the watch. And he said that + Gould sold out for a pair of second-hand government blankets and a bottle + of whisky that killed nine men in three hours, and that an unoffending + stranger that smelt the cork was disabled for life. Four years afterward + the mine thus disposed of was worth in the San Francisco market seven + millions six hundred thousand dollars in gold coin. + </p> + <p> + In the early days a poverty-stricken Mexican who lived in a canyon + directly back of Virginia City, had a stream of water as large as a man's + wrist trickling from the hill-side on his premises. The Ophir Company + segregated a hundred feet of their mine and traded it to him for the + stream of water. The hundred feet proved to be the richest part of the + entire mine; four years after the swap, its market value (including its + mill) was $1,500,000. + </p> + <p> + An individual who owned twenty feet in the Ophir mine before its great + riches were revealed to men, traded it for a horse, and a very sorry + looking brute he was, too. A year or so afterward, when Ophir stock went + up to $3,000 a foot, this man, who had not a cent, used to say he was the + most startling example of magnificence and misery the world had ever seen—because + he was able to ride a sixty-thousand-dollar horse—yet could not + scrape up cash enough to buy a saddle, and was obliged to borrow one or + ride bareback. He said if fortune were to give him another + sixty-thousand-dollar horse it would ruin him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link323" id="link323"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="323.jpg (46K)" src="images/323.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + A youth of nineteen, who was a telegraph operator in Virginia on a salary + of a hundred dollars a month, and who, when he could not make out German + names in the list of San Francisco steamer arrivals, used to ingeniously + select and supply substitutes for them out of an old Berlin city + directory, made himself rich by watching the mining telegrams that passed + through his hands and buying and selling stocks accordingly, through a + friend in San Francisco. Once when a private dispatch was sent from + Virginia announcing a rich strike in a prominent mine and advising that + the matter be kept secret till a large amount of the stock could be + secured, he bought forty "feet" of the stock at twenty dollars a foot, and + afterward sold half of it at eight hundred dollars a foot and the rest at + double that figure. Within three months he was worth $150,000, and had + resigned his telegraphic position. + </p> + <p> + Another telegraph operator who had been discharged by the company for + divulging the secrets of the office, agreed with a moneyed man in San + Francisco to furnish him the result of a great Virginia mining lawsuit + within an hour after its private reception by the parties to it in San + Francisco. For this he was to have a large percentage of the profits on + purchases and sales made on it by his fellow-conspirator. So he went, + disguised as a teamster, to a little wayside telegraph office in the + mountains, got acquainted with the operator, and sat in the office day + after day, smoking his pipe, complaining that his team was fagged out and + unable to travel—and meantime listening to the dispatches as they + passed clicking through the machine from Virginia. Finally the private + dispatch announcing the result of the lawsuit sped over the wires, and as + soon as he heard it he telegraphed his friend in San Francisco: + </p> + <p> + "Am tired waiting. Shall sell the team and go home." + </p> + <p> + It was the signal agreed upon. The word "waiting" left out, would have + signified that the suit had gone the other way. + </p> + <p> + The mock teamster's friend picked up a deal of the mining stock, at low + figures, before the news became public, and a fortune was the result. + </p> + <p> + For a long time after one of the great Virginia mines had been + incorporated, about fifty feet of the original location were still in the + hands of a man who had never signed the incorporation papers. The stock + became very valuable, and every effort was made to find this man, but he + had disappeared. Once it was heard that he was in New York, and one or two + speculators went east but failed to find him. Once the news came that he + was in the Bermudas, and straightway a speculator or two hurried east and + sailed for Bermuda—but he was not there. Finally he was heard of in + Mexico, and a friend of his, a bar-keeper on a salary, scraped together a + little money and sought him out, bought his "feet" for a hundred dollars, + returned and sold the property for $75,000. + </p> + <p> + But why go on? The traditions of Silverland are filled with instances like + these, and I would never get through enumerating them were I to attempt do + it. I only desired to give, the reader an idea of a peculiarity of the + "flush times" which I could not present so strikingly in any other way, + and which some mention of was necessary to a realizing comprehension of + the time and the country. + </p> + <p> + I was personally acquainted with the majority of the nabobs I have + referred to, and so, for old acquaintance sake, I have shifted their + occupations and experiences around in such a way as to keep the Pacific + public from recognizing these once notorious men. No longer notorious, for + the majority of them have drifted back into poverty and obscurity again. + </p> + <p> + In Nevada there used to be current the story of an adventure of two of her + nabobs, which may or may not have occurred. I give it for what it is + worth: + </p> + <p> + Col. Jim had seen somewhat of the world, and knew more or less of its + ways; but Col. Jack was from the back settlements of the States, had led a + life of arduous toil, and had never seen a city. These two, blessed with + sudden wealth, projected a visit to New York,—Col. Jack to see the + sights, and Col. Jim to guard his unsophistication from misfortune. They + reached San Francisco in the night, and sailed in the morning. Arrived in + New York, Col. Jack said: + </p> + <p> + "I've heard tell of carriages all my life, and now I mean to have a ride + in one; I don't care what it costs. Come along." + </p> + <p> + They stepped out on the sidewalk, and Col. Jim called a stylish barouche. + But Col. Jack said: + </p> + <p> + "No, sir! None of your cheap-John turn-outs for me. I'm here to have a + good time, and money ain't any object. I mean to have the nobbiest rig + that's going. Now here comes the very trick. Stop that yaller one with the + pictures on it—don't you fret—I'll stand all the expenses + myself." + </p> + <p> + So Col. Jim stopped an empty omnibus, and they got in. Said Col. Jack: + </p> + <p> + "Ain't it gay, though? Oh, no, I reckon not! Cushions, and windows, and + pictures, till you can't rest. What would the boys say if they could see + us cutting a swell like this in New York? By George, I wish they could see + us." + </p> + <p> + Then he put his head out of the window, and shouted to the driver: + </p> + <p> + "Say, Johnny, this suits me!—suits yours truly, you bet, you! I want + this shebang all day. I'm on it, old man! Let 'em out! Make 'em go! We'll + make it all right with you, sonny!" + </p> + <p> + The driver passed his hand through the strap-hole, and tapped for his fare—it + was before the gongs came into common use. Col. Jack took the hand, and + shook it cordially. He said: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link326" id="link326"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="326.jpg (51K)" src="images/326.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "You twig me, old pard! All right between gents. Smell of that, and see + how you like it!" + </p> + <p> + And he put a twenty-dollar gold piece in the driver's hand. After a moment + the driver said he could not make change. + </p> + <p> + "Bother the change! Ride it out. Put it in your pocket." + </p> + <p> + Then to Col. Jim, with a sounding slap on his thigh: + </p> + <p> + "Ain't it style, though? Hanged if I don't hire this thing every day for a + week." + </p> + <p> + The omnibus stopped, and a young lady got in. Col. Jack stared a moment, + then nudged Col. Jim with his elbow: + </p> + <p> + "Don't say a word," he whispered. "Let her ride, if she wants to. + Gracious, there's room enough." + </p> + <p> + The young lady got out her porte-monnaie, and handed her fare to Col. + Jack. + </p> + <p> + "What's this for?" said he. + </p> + <p> + "Give it to the driver, please." + </p> + <p> + "Take back your money, madam. We can't allow it. You're welcome to ride + here as long as you please, but this shebang's chartered, and we can't let + you pay a cent." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link327" id="link327"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="327.jpg (34K)" src="images/327.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The girl shrunk into a corner, bewildered. An old lady with a basket + climbed in, and proffered her fare. + </p> + <p> + "Excuse me," said Col. Jack. "You're perfectly welcome here, madam, but we + can't allow you to pay. Set right down there, mum, and don't you be the + least uneasy. Make yourself just as free as if you was in your own + turn-out." + </p> + <p> + Within two minutes, three gentlemen, two fat women, and a couple of + children, entered. + </p> + <p> + "Come right along, friends," said Col. Jack; "don't mind us. This is a + free blow-out." Then he whispered to Col. Jim, + </p> + <p> + "New York ain't no sociable place, I don't reckon—it ain't no name + for it!" + </p> + <p> + He resisted every effort to pass fares to the driver, and made everybody + cordially welcome. The situation dawned on the people, and they pocketed + their money, and delivered themselves up to covert enjoyment of the + episode. Half a dozen more passengers entered. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, there's plenty of room," said Col. Jack. "Walk right in, and make + yourselves at home. A blow-out ain't worth anything as a blow-out, unless + a body has company." Then in a whisper to Col. Jim: "But ain't these New + Yorkers friendly? And ain't they cool about it, too? Icebergs ain't + anywhere. I reckon they'd tackle a hearse, if it was going their way." + </p> + <p> + More passengers got in; more yet, and still more. Both seats were filled, + and a file of men were standing up, holding on to the cleats overhead. + Parties with baskets and bundles were climbing up on the roof. + Half-suppressed laughter rippled up from all sides. + </p> + <p> + "Well, for clean, cool, out-and-out cheek, if this don't bang anything + that ever I saw, I'm an Injun!" whispered Col. Jack. + </p> + <p> + A Chinaman crowded his way in. + </p> + <p> + "I weaken!" said Col. Jack. "Hold on, driver! Keep your seats, ladies, and + gents. Just make yourselves free—everything's paid for. Driver, + rustle these folks around as long as they're a mind to go—friends of + ours, you know. Take them everywheres—and if you want more money, + come to the St. Nicholas, and we'll make it all right. Pleasant journey to + you, ladies and gents—go it just as long as you please—it + shan't cost you a cent!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link328" id="link328"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="328.jpg (93K)" src="images/328.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The two comrades got out, and Col. Jack said: + </p> + <p> + "Jimmy, it's the sociablest place I ever saw. The Chinaman waltzed in as + comfortable as anybody. If we'd staid awhile, I reckon we'd had some + niggers. B' George, we'll have to barricade our doors to-night, or some of + these ducks will be trying to sleep with us." + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch47" id="linkch47"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Somebody has said that in order to know a community, one must observe the + style of its funerals and know what manner of men they bury with most + ceremony. I cannot say which class we buried with most eclat in our "flush + times," the distinguished public benefactor or the distinguished rough—possibly + the two chief grades or grand divisions of society honored their + illustrious dead about equally; and hence, no doubt the philosopher I have + quoted from would have needed to see two representative funerals in + Virginia before forming his estimate of the people. + </p> + <p> + There was a grand time over Buck Fanshaw when he died. He was a + representative citizen. He had "killed his man"—not in his own + quarrel, it is true, but in defence of a stranger unfairly beset by + numbers. He had kept a sumptuous saloon. He had been the proprietor of a + dashing helpmeet whom he could have discarded without the formality of a + divorce. He had held a high position in the fire department and been a + very Warwick in politics. When he died there was great lamentation + throughout the town, but especially in the vast bottom-stratum of society. + </p> + <p> + On the inquest it was shown that Buck Fanshaw, in the delirium of a + wasting typhoid fever, had taken arsenic, shot himself through the body, + cut his throat, and jumped out of a four-story window and broken his neck—and + after due deliberation, the jury, sad and tearful, but with intelligence + unblinded by its sorrow, brought in a verdict of death "by the visitation + of God." What could the world do without juries? + </p> + <p> + Prodigious preparations were made for the funeral. All the vehicles in + town were hired, all the saloons put in mourning, all the municipal and + fire-company flags hung at half-mast, and all the firemen ordered to + muster in uniform and bring their machines duly draped in black. Now—let + us remark in parenthesis—as all the peoples of the earth had + representative adventurers in the Silverland, and as each adventurer had + brought the slang of his nation or his locality with him, the combination + made the slang of Nevada the richest and the most infinitely varied and + copious that had ever existed anywhere in the world, perhaps, except in + the mines of California in the "early days." Slang was the language of + Nevada. It was hard to preach a sermon without it, and be understood. Such + phrases as "You bet!" "Oh, no, I reckon not!" "No Irish need apply," and a + hundred others, became so common as to fall from the lips of a speaker + unconsciously—and very often when they did not touch the subject + under discussion and consequently failed to mean anything. + </p> + <p> + After Buck Fanshaw's inquest, a meeting of the short-haired brotherhood + was held, for nothing can be done on the Pacific coast without a public + meeting and an expression of sentiment. Regretful resolutions were passed + and various committees appointed; among others, a committee of one was + deputed to call on the minister, a fragile, gentle, spiritual new + fledgling from an Eastern theological seminary, and as yet unacquainted + with the ways of the mines. The committeeman, "Scotty" Briggs, made his + visit; and in after days it was worth something to hear the minister tell + about it. Scotty was a stalwart rough, whose customary suit, when on + weighty official business, like committee work, was a fire helmet, flaming + red flannel shirt, patent leather belt with spanner and revolver attached, + coat hung over arm, and pants stuffed into boot tops. He formed something + of a contrast to the pale theological student. It is fair to say of + Scotty, however, in passing, that he had a warm heart, and a strong love + for his friends, and never entered into a quarrel when he could reasonably + keep out of it. Indeed, it was commonly said that whenever one of Scotty's + fights was investigated, it always turned out that it had originally been + no affair of his, but that out of native good-heartedness he had dropped + in of his own accord to help the man who was getting the worst of it. He + and Buck Fanshaw were bosom friends, for years, and had often taken + adventurous "pot-luck" together. On one occasion, they had thrown off + their coats and taken the weaker side in a fight among strangers, and + after gaining a hard-earned victory, turned and found that the men they + were helping had deserted early, and not only that, but had stolen their + coats and made off with them! But to return to Scotty's visit to the + minister. He was on a sorrowful mission, now, and his face was the picture + of woe. Being admitted to the presence he sat down before the clergyman, + placed his fire-hat on an unfinished manuscript sermon under the + minister's nose, took from it a red silk handkerchief, wiped his brow and + heaved a sigh of dismal impressiveness, explanatory of his business. + </p> + <p> + He choked, and even shed tears; but with an effort he mastered his voice + and said in lugubrious tones: + </p> + <p> + "Are you the duck that runs the gospel-mill next door?" + </p> + <p> + "Am I the—pardon me, I believe I do not understand?" + </p> + <p> + With another sigh and a half-sob, Scotty rejoined: + </p> + <p> + "Why you see we are in a bit of trouble, and the boys thought maybe you + would give us a lift, if we'd tackle you—that is, if I've got the + rights of it and you are the head clerk of the doxology-works next door." + </p> + <p> + "I am the shepherd in charge of the flock whose fold is next door." + </p> + <p> + "The which?" + </p> + <p> + "The spiritual adviser of the little company of believers whose sanctuary + adjoins these premises." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link331" id="link331"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="331.jpg (76K)" src="images/331.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Scotty scratched his head, reflected a moment, and then said: + </p> + <p> + "You ruther hold over me, pard. I reckon I can't call that hand. Ante and + pass the buck." + </p> + <p> + "How? I beg pardon. What did I understand you to say?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, you've ruther got the bulge on me. Or maybe we've both got the + bulge, somehow. You don't smoke me and I don't smoke you. You see, one of + the boys has passed in his checks and we want to give him a good send- + off, and so the thing I'm on now is to roust out somebody to jerk a little + chin-music for us and waltz him through handsome." + </p> + <p> + "My friend, I seem to grow more and more bewildered. Your observations are + wholly incomprehensible to me. Cannot you simplify them in some way? At + first I thought perhaps I understood you, but I grope now. Would it not + expedite matters if you restricted yourself to categorical statements of + fact unencumbered with obstructing accumulations of metaphor and + allegory?" + </p> + <p> + Another pause, and more reflection. Then, said Scotty: + </p> + <p> + "I'll have to pass, I judge." + </p> + <p> + "How?" + </p> + <p> + "You've raised me out, pard." + </p> + <p> + "I still fail to catch your meaning." + </p> + <p> + "Why, that last lead of yourn is too many for me—that's the idea. I + can't neither-trump nor follow suit." + </p> + <p> + The clergyman sank back in his chair perplexed. Scotty leaned his head on + his hand and gave himself up to thought. + </p> + <p> + Presently his face came up, sorrowful but confident. + </p> + <p> + "I've got it now, so's you can savvy," he said. "What we want is a + gospel-sharp. See?" + </p> + <p> + "A what?" + </p> + <p> + "Gospel-sharp. Parson." + </p> + <p> + "Oh! Why did you not say so before? I am a clergyman—a parson." + </p> + <p> + "Now you talk! You see my blind and straddle it like a man. Put it there!"—extending + a brawny paw, which closed over the minister's small hand and gave it a + shake indicative of fraternal sympathy and fervent gratification. + </p> + <p> + "Now we're all right, pard. Let's start fresh. Don't you mind my snuffling + a little—becuz we're in a power of trouble. You see, one of the boys + has gone up the flume—" + </p> + <p> + "Gone where?" + </p> + <p> + "Up the flume—throwed up the sponge, you understand." + </p> + <p> + "Thrown up the sponge?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes—kicked the bucket—" + </p> + <p> + "Ah—has departed to that mysterious country from whose bourne no + traveler returns." + </p> + <p> + "Return! I reckon not. Why pard, he's dead!" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, I understand." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, you do? Well I thought maybe you might be getting tangled some more. + Yes, you see he's dead again—" + </p> + <p> + "Again? Why, has he ever been dead before?" + </p> + <p> + "Dead before? No! Do you reckon a man has got as many lives as a cat? But + you bet you he's awful dead now, poor old boy, and I wish I'd never seen + this day. I don't want no better friend than Buck Fanshaw. I knowed him by + the back; and when I know a man and like him, I freeze to him—you + hear me. Take him all round, pard, there never was a bullier man in the + mines. No man ever knowed Buck Fanshaw to go back on a friend. But it's + all up, you know, it's all up. It ain't no use. They've scooped him." + </p> + <p> + "Scooped him?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes—death has. Well, well, well, we've got to give him up. Yes + indeed. It's a kind of a hard world, after all, ain't it? But pard, he was + a rustler! You ought to seen him get started once. He was a bully boy with + a glass eye! Just spit in his face and give him room according to his + strength, and it was just beautiful to see him peel and go in. He was the + worst son of a thief that ever drawed breath. Pard, he was on it! He was + on it bigger than an Injun!" + </p> + <p> + "On it? On what?" + </p> + <p> + "On the shoot. On the shoulder. On the fight, you understand. He didn't + give a continental for any body. Beg your pardon, friend, for coming so + near saying a cuss-word—but you see I'm on an awful strain, in this + palaver, on account of having to cramp down and draw everything so mild. + But we've got to give him up. There ain't any getting around that, I don't + reckon. Now if we can get you to help plant him—" + </p> + <p> + "Preach the funeral discourse? Assist at the obsequies?" + </p> + <p> + "Obs'quies is good. Yes. That's it—that's our little game. We are + going to get the thing up regardless, you know. He was always nifty + himself, and so you bet you his funeral ain't going to be no slouch—solid + silver door-plate on his coffin, six plumes on the hearse, and a nigger on + the box in a biled shirt and a plug hat—how's that for high? And + we'll take care of you, pard. We'll fix you all right. There'll be a + kerridge for you; and whatever you want, you just 'scape out and we'll + 'tend to it. We've got a shebang fixed up for you to stand behind, in No. + 1's house, and don't you be afraid. Just go in and toot your horn, if you + don't sell a clam. Put Buck through as bully as you can, pard, for anybody + that knowed him will tell you that he was one of the whitest men that was + ever in the mines. You can't draw it too strong. He never could stand it + to see things going wrong. He's done more to make this town quiet and + peaceable than any man in it. I've seen him lick four Greasers in eleven + minutes, myself. If a thing wanted regulating, he warn't a man to go + browsing around after somebody to do it, but he would prance in and + regulate it himself. He warn't a Catholic. Scasely. He was down on 'em. + His word was, 'No Irish need apply!' But it didn't make no difference + about that when it came down to what a man's rights was—and so, when + some roughs jumped the Catholic bone-yard and started in to stake out + town-lots in it he went for 'em! And he cleaned 'em, too! I was there, + pard, and I seen it myself." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link335" id="link335"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="335.jpg (105K)" src="images/335.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "That was very well indeed—at least the impulse was—whether + the act was strictly defensible or not. Had deceased any religious + convictions? That is to say, did he feel a dependence upon, or acknowledge + allegiance to a higher power?" + </p> + <p> + More reflection. + </p> + <p> + "I reckon you've stumped me again, pard. Could you say it over once more, + and say it slow?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, to simplify it somewhat, was he, or rather had he ever been + connected with any organization sequestered from secular concerns and + devoted to self-sacrifice in the interests of morality?" + </p> + <p> + "All down but nine—set 'em up on the other alley, pard." + </p> + <p> + "What did I understand you to say?" + </p> + <p> + "Why, you're most too many for me, you know. When you get in with your + left I hunt grass every time. Every time you draw, you fill; but I don't + seem to have any luck. Lets have a new deal." + </p> + <p> + "How? Begin again?" + </p> + <p> + "That's it." + </p> + <p> + "Very well. Was he a good man, and—" + </p> + <p> + "There—I see that; don't put up another chip till I look at my hand. + A good man, says you? Pard, it ain't no name for it. He was the best man + that ever—pard, you would have doted on that man. He could lam any + galoot of his inches in America. It was him that put down the riot last + election before it got a start; and everybody said he was the only man + that could have done it. He waltzed in with a spanner in one hand and a + trumpet in the other, and sent fourteen men home on a shutter in less than + three minutes. He had that riot all broke up and prevented nice before + anybody ever got a chance to strike a blow. He was always for peace, and + he would have peace—he could not stand disturbances. Pard, he was a + great loss to this town. It would please the boys if you could chip in + something like that and do him justice. Here once when the Micks got to + throwing stones through the Methodis' Sunday school windows, Buck Fanshaw, + all of his own notion, shut up his saloon and took a couple of + six-shooters and mounted guard over the Sunday school. Says he, 'No Irish + need apply!' And they didn't. He was the bulliest man in the mountains, + pard! He could run faster, jump higher, hit harder, and hold more + tangle-foot whisky without spilling it than any man in seventeen counties. + Put that in, pard—it'll please the boys more than anything you could + say. And you can say, pard, that he never shook his mother." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link337" id="link337"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="337.jpg (60K)" src="images/337.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Never shook his mother?" + </p> + <p> + "That's it—any of the boys will tell you so." + </p> + <p> + "Well, but why should he shake her?" + </p> + <p> + "That's what I say—but some people does." + </p> + <p> + "Not people of any repute?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, some that averages pretty so-so." + </p> + <p> + "In my opinion the man that would offer personal violence to his own + mother, ought to—" + </p> + <p> + "Cheese it, pard; you've banked your ball clean outside the string. What I + was a drivin' at, was, that he never throwed off on his mother—don't + you see? No indeedy. He give her a house to live in, and town lots, and + plenty of money; and he looked after her and took care of her all the + time; and when she was down with the small-pox I'm d—-d if he didn't + set up nights and nuss her himself! Beg your pardon for saying it, but it + hopped out too quick for yours truly. + </p> + <p> + "You've treated me like a gentleman, pard, and I ain't the man to hurt + your feelings intentional. I think you're white. I think you're a square + man, pard. I like you, and I'll lick any man that don't. I'll lick him + till he can't tell himself from a last year's corpse! Put it there!" + [Another fraternal hand-shake—and exit.] + </p> + <p> + The obsequies were all that "the boys" could desire. Such a marvel of + funeral pomp had never been seen in Virginia. The plumed hearse, the + dirge-breathing brass bands, the closed marts of business, the flags + drooping at half mast, the long, plodding procession of uniformed secret + societies, military battalions and fire companies, draped engines, + carriages of officials, and citizens in vehicles and on foot, attracted + multitudes of spectators to the sidewalks, roofs and windows; and for + years afterward, the degree of grandeur attained by any civic display in + Virginia was determined by comparison with Buck Fanshaw's funeral. + </p> + <p> + Scotty Briggs, as a pall-bearer and a mourner, occupied a prominent place + at the funeral, and when the sermon was finished and the last sentence of + the prayer for the dead man's soul ascended, he responded, in a low voice, + but with feelings: + </p> + <p> + "AMEN. No Irish need apply." + </p> + <p> + As the bulk of the response was without apparent relevancy, it was + probably nothing more than a humble tribute to the memory of the friend + that was gone; for, as Scotty had once said, it was "his word." + </p> + <p> + Scotty Briggs, in after days, achieved the distinction of becoming the + only convert to religion that was ever gathered from the Virginia roughs; + and it transpired that the man who had it in him to espouse the quarrel of + the weak out of inborn nobility of spirit was no mean timber whereof to + construct a Christian. The making him one did not warp his generosity or + diminish his courage; on the contrary it gave intelligent direction to the + one and a broader field to the other. + </p> + <p> + If his Sunday-school class progressed faster than the other classes, was + it matter for wonder? I think not. He talked to his pioneer small-fry in a + language they understood! It was my large privilege, a month before he + died, to hear him tell the beautiful story of Joseph and his brethren to + his class "without looking at the book." I leave it to the reader to fancy + what it was like, as it fell, riddled with slang, from the lips of that + grave, earnest teacher, and was listened to by his little learners with a + consuming interest that showed that they were as unconscious as he was + that any violence was being done to the sacred proprieties! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link338" id="link338"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="338.jpg (52K)" src="images/338.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch48" id="linkch48"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + The first twenty-six graves in the Virginia cemetery were occupied by + murdered men. So everybody said, so everybody believed, and so they will + always say and believe. The reason why there was so much slaughtering + done, was, that in a new mining district the rough element predominates, + and a person is not respected until he has "killed his man." That was the + very expression used. + </p> + <p> + If an unknown individual arrived, they did not inquire if he was capable, + honest, industrious, but—had he killed his man? If he had not, he + gravitated to his natural and proper position, that of a man of small + consequence; if he had, the cordiality of his reception was graduated + according to the number of his dead. It was tedious work struggling up to + a position of influence with bloodless hands; but when a man came with the + blood of half a dozen men on his soul, his worth was recognized at once + and his acquaintance sought. + </p> + <p> + In Nevada, for a time, the lawyer, the editor, the banker, the chief + desperado, the chief gambler, and the saloon keeper, occupied the same + level in society, and it was the highest. The cheapest and easiest way to + become an influential man and be looked up to by the community at large, + was to stand behind a bar, wear a cluster-diamond pin, and sell whisky. I + am not sure but that the saloon-keeper held a shade higher rank than any + other member of society. His opinion had weight. It was his privilege to + say how the elections should go. No great movement could succeed without + the countenance and direction of the saloon- keepers. It was a high favor + when the chief saloon-keeper consented to serve in the legislature or the + board of aldermen. + </p> + <p> + Youthful ambition hardly aspired so much to the honors of the law, or the + army and navy as to the dignity of proprietorship in a saloon. + </p> + <p> + To be a saloon-keeper and kill a man was to be illustrious. Hence the + reader will not be surprised to learn that more than one man was killed in + Nevada under hardly the pretext of provocation, so impatient was the + slayer to achieve reputation and throw off the galling sense of being held + in indifferent repute by his associates. I knew two youths who tried to + "kill their men" for no other reason—and got killed themselves for + their pains. "There goes the man that killed Bill Adams" was higher praise + and a sweeter sound in the ears of this sort of people than any other + speech that admiring lips could utter. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link340" id="link340"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="340.jpg (115K)" src="images/340.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The men who murdered Virginia's original twenty-six cemetery-occupants + were never punished. Why? Because Alfred the Great, when he invented trial + by jury and knew that he had admirably framed it to secure justice in his + age of the world, was not aware that in the nineteenth century the + condition of things would be so entirely changed that unless he rose from + the grave and altered the jury plan to meet the emergency, it would prove + the most ingenious and infallible agency for defeating justice that human + wisdom could contrive. For how could he imagine that we simpletons would + go on using his jury plan after circumstances had stripped it of its + usefulness, any more than he could imagine that we would go on using his + candle-clock after we had invented chronometers? In his day news could not + travel fast, and hence he could easily find a jury of honest, intelligent + men who had not heard of the case they were called to try—but in our + day of telegraphs and newspapers his plan compels us to swear in juries + composed of fools and rascals, because the system rigidly excludes honest + men and men of brains. + </p> + <p> + I remember one of those sorrowful farces, in Virginia, which we call a + jury trial. A noted desperado killed Mr. B., a good citizen, in the most + wanton and cold-blooded way. Of course the papers were full of it, and all + men capable of reading, read about it. And of course all men not deaf and + dumb and idiotic, talked about it. A jury-list was made out, and Mr. B. + L., a prominent banker and a valued citizen, was questioned precisely as + he would have been questioned in any court in America: + </p> + <p> + "Have you heard of this homicide?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes." + </p> + <p> + "Have you held conversations upon the subject?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes." + </p> + <p> + "Have you formed or expressed opinions about it?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes." + </p> + <p> + "Have you read the newspaper accounts of it?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes." + </p> + <p> + "We do not want you." + </p> + <p> + A minister, intelligent, esteemed, and greatly respected; a merchant of + high character and known probity; a mining superintendent of intelligence + and unblemished reputation; a quartz mill owner of excellent standing, + were all questioned in the same way, and all set aside. Each said the + public talk and the newspaper reports had not so biased his mind but that + sworn testimony would overthrow his previously formed opinions and enable + him to render a verdict without prejudice and in accordance with the + facts. But of course such men could not be trusted with the case. + Ignoramuses alone could mete out unsullied justice. + </p> + <p> + When the peremptory challenges were all exhausted, a jury of twelve men + was impaneled—a jury who swore they had neither heard, read, talked + about nor expressed an opinion concerning a murder which the very cattle + in the corrals, the Indians in the sage-brush and the stones in the + streets were cognizant of! It was a jury composed of two desperadoes, two + low beer-house politicians, three bar-keepers, two ranchmen who could not + read, and three dull, stupid, human donkeys! It actually came out + afterward, that one of these latter thought that incest and arson were the + same thing. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link342" id="link342"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="342.jpg (52K)" src="images/342.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The verdict rendered by this jury was, Not Guilty. What else could one + expect? + </p> + <p> + The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty, and a premium + upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury. It is a shame that we must continue + to use a worthless system because it was good a thousand years ago. In + this age, when a gentleman of high social standing, intelligence and + probity, swears that testimony given under solemn oath will outweigh, with + him, street talk and newspaper reports based upon mere hearsay, he is + worth a hundred jurymen who will swear to their own ignorance and + stupidity, and justice would be far safer in his hands than in theirs. Why + could not the jury law be so altered as to give men of brains and honesty + and equal chance with fools and miscreants? Is it right to show the + present favoritism to one class of men and inflict a disability on + another, in a land whose boast is that all its citizens are free and + equal? I am a candidate for the legislature. I desire to tamper with the + jury law. I wish to so alter it as to put a premium on intelligence and + character, and close the jury box against idiots, blacklegs, and people + who do not read newspapers. But no doubt I shall be defeated—every + effort I make to save the country "misses fire." + </p> + <p> + My idea, when I began this chapter, was to say something about + desperadoism in the "flush times" of Nevada. To attempt a portrayal of + that era and that land, and leave out the blood and carnage, would be like + portraying Mormondom and leaving out polygamy. The desperado stalked the + streets with a swagger graded according to the number of his homicides, + and a nod of recognition from him was sufficient to make a humble admirer + happy for the rest of the day. The deference that was paid to a desperado + of wide reputation, and who "kept his private graveyard," as the phrase + went, was marked, and cheerfully accorded. When he moved along the + sidewalk in his excessively long-tailed frock- coat, shiny stump-toed + boots, and with dainty little slouch hat tipped over left eye, the + small-fry roughs made room for his majesty; when he entered the + restaurant, the waiters deserted bankers and merchants to overwhelm him + with obsequious service; when he shouldered his way to a bar, the + shouldered parties wheeled indignantly, recognized him, and—apologized. + </p> + <p> + They got a look in return that froze their marrow, and by that time a + curled and breast-pinned bar keeper was beaming over the counter, proud of + the established acquaintanceship that permitted such a familiar form of + speech as: + </p> + <p> + "How're ye, Billy, old fel? Glad to see you. What'll you take—the + old thing?" + </p> + <p> + The "old thing" meant his customary drink, of course. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link344" id="link344"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="344.jpg (47K)" src="images/344.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The best known names in the Territory of Nevada were those belonging to + these long-tailed heroes of the revolver. Orators, Governors, capitalists + and leaders of the legislature enjoyed a degree of fame, but it seemed + local and meagre when contrasted with the fame of such men as Sam Brown, + Jack Williams, Billy Mulligan, Farmer Pease, Sugarfoot Mike, Pock Marked + Jake, El Dorado Johnny, Jack McNabb, Joe McGee, Jack Harris, Six-fingered + Pete, etc., etc. There was a long list of them. They were brave, reckless + men, and traveled with their lives in their hands. To give them their due, + they did their killing principally among themselves, and seldom molested + peaceable citizens, for they considered it small credit to add to their + trophies so cheap a bauble as the death of a man who was "not on the + shoot," as they phrased it. They killed each other on slight provocation, + and hoped and expected to be killed themselves—for they held it + almost shame to die otherwise than "with their boots on," as they + expressed it. + </p> + <p> + I remember an instance of a desperado's contempt for such small game as a + private citizen's life. I was taking a late supper in a restaurant one + night, with two reporters and a little printer named—Brown, for + instance—any name will do. Presently a stranger with a long-tailed + coat on came in, and not noticing Brown's hat, which was lying in a chair, + sat down on it. Little Brown sprang up and became abusive in a moment. The + stranger smiled, smoothed out the hat, and offered it to Brown with + profuse apologies couched in caustic sarcasm, and begged Brown not to + destroy him. Brown threw off his coat and challenged the man to fight—abused + him, threatened him, impeached his courage, and urged and even implored + him to fight; and in the meantime the smiling stranger placed himself + under our protection in mock distress. But presently he assumed a serious + tone, and said: + </p> + <p> + "Very well, gentlemen, if we must fight, we must, I suppose. But don't + rush into danger and then say I gave you no warning. I am more than a + match for all of you when I get started. I will give you proofs, and then + if my friend here still insists, I will try to accommodate him." + </p> + <p> + The table we were sitting at was about five feet long, and unusually + cumbersome and heavy. He asked us to put our hands on the dishes and hold + them in their places a moment—one of them was a large oval dish with + a portly roast on it. Then he sat down, tilted up one end of the table, + set two of the legs on his knees, took the end of the table between his + teeth, took his hands away, and pulled down with his teeth till the table + came up to a level position, dishes and all! He said he could lift a keg + of nails with his teeth. He picked up a common glass tumbler and bit a + semi-circle out of it. Then he opened his bosom and showed us a net-work + of knife and bullet scars; showed us more on his arms and face, and said + he believed he had bullets enough in his body to make a pig of lead. He + was armed to the teeth. He closed with the remark that he was Mr.——of + Cariboo—a celebrated name whereat we shook in our shoes. I would + publish the name, but for the suspicion that he might come and carve me. + He finally inquired if Brown still thirsted for blood. Brown turned the + thing over in his mind a moment, and then—asked him to supper. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link346" id="link346"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="346.jpg (73K)" src="images/346.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + With the permission of the reader, I will group together, in the next + chapter, some samples of life in our small mountain village in the old + days of desperadoism. I was there at the time. The reader will observe + peculiarities in our official society; and he will observe also, an + instance of how, in new countries, murders breed murders. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch49" id="linkch49"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER XLIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + An extract or two from the newspapers of the day will furnish a photograph + that can need no embellishment: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + FATAL SHOOTING AFFRAY.—An affray occurred, last evening, in a + billiard saloon on C street, between Deputy Marshal Jack Williams and + Wm. Brown, which resulted in the immediate death of the latter. There + had been some difficulty between the parties for several months. + </p> + <p> + An inquest was immediately held, and the following testimony adduced: + </p> + <p> + Officer GEO. BIRDSALL, sworn, says:—I was told Wm. Brown was drunk + and was looking for Jack Williams; so soon as I heard that I started for + the parties to prevent a collision; went into the billiard saloon; saw + Billy Brown running around, saying if anybody had anything against him + to show cause; he was talking in a boisterous manner, and officer Perry + took him to the other end of the room to talk to him; Brown came back to + me; remarked to me that he thought he was as good as anybody, and knew + how to take care of himself; he passed by me and went to the bar; don't + know whether he drank or not; Williams was at the end of the + billiard-table, next to the stairway; Brown, after going to the bar, + came back and said he was as good as any man in the world; he had then + walked out to the end of the first billiard-table from the bar; I moved + closer to them, supposing there would be a fight; as Brown drew his + pistol I caught hold of it; he had fired one shot at Williams; don't + know the effect of it; caught hold of him with one hand, and took hold + of the pistol and turned it up; think he fired once after I caught hold + of the pistol; I wrenched the pistol from him; walked to the end of the + billiard-table and told a party that I had Brown's pistol, and to stop + shooting; I think four shots were fired in all; after walking out, Mr. + Foster remarked that Brown was shot dead. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Oh, there was no excitement about it—he merely "remarked" the small + circumstance! + </p> + <p> + Four months later the following item appeared in the same paper (the + Enterprise). In this item the name of one of the city officers above + referred to (Deputy Marshal Jack Williams) occurs again: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + ROBBERY AND DESPERATE AFFRAY.—On Tuesday night, a German named + Charles Hurtzal, engineer in a mill at Silver City, came to this place, + and visited the hurdy-gurdy house on B street. The music, dancing and + Teutonic maidens awakened memories of Faderland until our German friend + was carried away with rapture. He evidently had money, and was spending + if freely. Late in the evening Jack Williams and Andy Blessington + invited him down stairs to take a cup of coffee. Williams proposed a + game of cards and went up stairs to procure a deck, but not finding any + returned. On the stairway he met the German, and drawing his pistol + knocked him down and rifled his pockets of some seventy dollars. Hurtzal + dared give no alarm, as he was told, with a pistol at his head, if he + made any noise or exposed them, they would blow his brains out. So + effectually was he frightened that he made no complaint, until his + friends forced him. Yesterday a warrant was issued, but the culprits had + disappeared. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + This efficient city officer, Jack Williams, had the common reputation of + being a burglar, a highwayman and a desperado. It was said that he had + several times drawn his revolver and levied money contributions on + citizens at dead of night in the public streets of Virginia. + </p> + <p> + Five months after the above item appeared, Williams was assassinated while + sitting at a card table one night; a gun was thrust through the crack of + the door and Williams dropped from his chair riddled with balls. It was + said, at the time, that Williams had been for some time aware that a party + of his own sort (desperadoes) had sworn away his life; and it was + generally believed among the people that Williams's friends and enemies + would make the assassination memorable—and useful, too—by a + wholesale destruction of each other. + </p> + <p> + It did not so happen, but still, times were not dull during the next + twenty-four hours, for within that time a woman was killed by a pistol + shot, a man was brained with a slung shot, and a man named Reeder was also + disposed of permanently. Some matters in the Enterprise account of the + killing of Reeder are worth nothing—especially the accommodating + complaisance of a Virginia justice of the peace. The italics in the + following narrative are mine: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + MORE CUTTING AND SHOOTING.—The devil seems to have again broken + loose in our town. Pistols and guns explode and knives gleam in our + streets as in early times. When there has been a long season of quiet, + people are slow to wet their hands in blood; but once blood is spilled, + cutting and shooting come easy. Night before last Jack Williams was + assassinated, and yesterday forenoon we had more bloody work, growing + out of the killing of Williams, and on the same street in which he met + his death. It appears that Tom Reeder, a friend of Williams, and George + Gumbert were talking, at the meat market of the latter, about the + killing of Williams the previous night, when Reeder said it was a most + cowardly act to shoot a man in such a way, giving him "no show." Gumbert + said that Williams had "as good a show as he gave Billy Brown," meaning + the man killed by Williams last March. Reeder said it was a d—-d + lie, that Williams had no show at all. At this, Gumbert drew a knife and + stabbed Reeder, cutting him in two places in the back. One stroke of the + knife cut into the sleeve of Reeder's coat and passed downward in a + slanting direction through his clothing, and entered his body at the + small of the back; another blow struck more squarely, and made a much + more dangerous wound. Gumbert gave himself up to the officers of + justice, and was shortly after discharged by Justice Atwill, on his own + recognizance, to appear for trial at six o'clock in the evening. In the + meantime Reeder had been taken into the office of Dr. Owens, where his + wounds were properly dressed. One of his wounds was considered quite + dangerous, and it was thought by many that it would prove fatal. But + being considerably under the influence of liquor, Reeder did not feel + his wounds as he otherwise would, and he got up and went into the + street. He went to the meat market and renewed his quarrel with Gumbert, + threatening his life. Friends tried to interfere to put a stop to the + quarrel and get the parties away from each other. In the Fashion Saloon + Reeder made threats against the life of Gumbert, saying he would kill + him, and it is said that he requested the officers not to arrest + Gumbert, as he intended to kill him. After these threats Gumbert went + off and procured a double- barreled shot gun, loaded with buck-shot or + revolver balls, and went after Reeder. Two or three persons were + assisting him along the street, trying to get him home, and had him just + in front of the store of Klopstock & Harris, when Gumbert came + across toward him from the opposite side of the street with his gun. He + came up within about ten or fifteen feet of Reeder, and called out to + those with him to "look out! get out of the way!" and they had only time + to heed the warning, when he fired. Reeder was at the time attempting to + screen himself behind a large cask, which stood against the awning post + of Klopstock & Harris's store, but some of the balls took effect in + the lower part of his breast, and he reeled around forward and fell in + front of the cask. Gumbert then raised his gun and fired the second + barrel, which missed Reeder and entered the ground. At the time that + this occurred, there were a great many persons on the street in the + vicinity, and a number of them called out to Gumbert, when they saw him + raise his gun, to "hold on," and "don't shoot!" The cutting took place + about ten o'clock and the shooting about twelve. After the shooting the + street was instantly crowded with the inhabitants of that part of the + town, some appearing much excited and laughing—declaring that it + looked like the "good old times of '60." Marshal Perry and officer + Birdsall were near when the shooting occurred, and Gumbert was + immediately arrested and his gun taken from him, when he was marched off + to jail. Many persons who were attracted to the spot where this bloody + work had just taken place, looked bewildered and seemed to be asking + themselves what was to happen next, appearing in doubt as to whether the + killing mania had reached its climax, or whether we were to turn in and + have a grand killing spell, shooting whoever might have given us + offence. It was whispered around that it was not all over yet—five + or six more were to be killed before night. Reeder was taken to the + Virginia City Hotel, and doctors called in to examine his wounds. They + found that two or three balls had entered his right side; one of them + appeared to have passed through the substance of the lungs, while + another passed into the liver. Two balls were also found to have struck + one of his legs. As some of the balls struck the cask, the wounds in + Reeder's leg were probably from these, glancing downwards, though they + might have been caused by the second shot fired. After being shot, + Reeder said when he got on his feet—smiling as he spoke—"It + will take better shooting than that to kill me." The doctors consider it + almost impossible for him to recover, but as he has an excellent + constitution he may survive, notwithstanding the number and dangerous + character of the wounds he has received. The town appears to be + perfectly quiet at present, as though the late stormy times had cleared + our moral atmosphere; but who can tell in what quarter clouds are + lowering or plots ripening? + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Reeder—or at least what was left of him—survived his wounds + two days! Nothing was ever done with Gumbert. + </p> + <p> + Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a + palladium is, having never seen a palladium, but it is a good thing no + doubt at any rate. Not less than a hundred men have been murdered in + Nevada—perhaps I would be within bounds if I said three hundred—and + as far as I can learn, only two persons have suffered the death penalty + there. However, four or five who had no money and no political influence + have been punished by imprisonment—one languished in prison as much + as eight months, I think. However, I do not desire to be extravagant—it + may have been less. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + However, one prophecy was verified, at any rate. It was asserted by the + desperadoes that one of their brethren (Joe McGee, a special policeman) + was known to be the conspirator chosen by lot to assassinate Williams; + and they also asserted that doom had been pronounced against McGee, and + that he would be assassinated in exactly the same manner that had been + adopted for the destruction of Williams—a prophecy which came true + a year later. After twelve months of distress (for McGee saw a fancied + assassin in every man that approached him), he made the last of many + efforts to get out of the country unwatched. He went to Carson and sat + down in a saloon to wait for the stage—it would leave at four in + the morning. But as the night waned and the crowd thinned, he grew + uneasy, and told the bar-keeper that assassins were on his track. The + bar-keeper told him to stay in the middle of the room, then, and not go + near the door, or the window by the stove. But a fatal fascination + seduced him to the neighborhood of the stove every now and then, and + repeatedly the bar- keeper brought him back to the middle of the room + and warned him to remain there. But he could not. At three in the + morning he again returned to the stove and sat down by a stranger. + Before the bar-keeper could get to him with another warning whisper, + some one outside fired through the window and riddled McGee's breast + with slugs, killing him almost instantly. By the same discharge the + stranger at McGee's side also received attentions which proved fatal in + the course of two or three days. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link351" id="link351"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="351.jpg (9K)" src="images/351.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch50" id="linkch50"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER L. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + These murder and jury statistics remind me of a certain very extraordinary + trial and execution of twenty years ago; it is a scrap of history familiar + to all old Californians, and worthy to be known by other peoples of the + earth that love simple, straightforward justice unencumbered with + nonsense. I would apologize for this digression but for the fact that the + information I am about to offer is apology enough in itself. And since I + digress constantly anyhow, perhaps it is as well to eschew apologies + altogether and thus prevent their growing irksome. + </p> + <p> + Capt. Ned Blakely—that name will answer as well as any other + fictitious one (for he was still with the living at last accounts, and may + not desire to be famous)—sailed ships out of the harbor of San + Francisco for many years. He was a stalwart, warm-hearted, eagle-eyed + veteran, who had been a sailor nearly fifty years—a sailor from + early boyhood. He was a rough, honest creature, full of pluck, and just as + full of hard-headed simplicity, too. He hated trifling conventionalities—"business" + was the word, with him. He had all a sailor's vindictiveness against the + quips and quirks of the law, and steadfastly believed that the first and + last aim and object of the law and lawyers was to defeat justice. + </p> + <p> + He sailed for the Chincha Islands in command of a guano ship. He had a + fine crew, but his negro mate was his pet—on him he had for years + lavished his admiration and esteem. It was Capt. Ned's first voyage to the + Chinchas, but his fame had gone before him—the fame of being a man + who would fight at the dropping of a handkerchief, when imposed upon, and + would stand no nonsense. It was a fame well earned. Arrived in the + islands, he found that the staple of conversation was the exploits of one + Bill Noakes, a bully, the mate of a trading ship. This man had created a + small reign of terror there. At nine o'clock at night, Capt. Ned, all + alone, was pacing his deck in the starlight. A form ascended the side, and + approached him. Capt. Ned said: + </p> + <p> + "Who goes there?" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link353" id="link353"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="353.jpg (77K)" src="images/353.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "I'm Bill Noakes, the best man in the islands." + </p> + <p> + "What do you want aboard this ship?" + </p> + <p> + "I've heard of Capt. Ned Blakely, and one of us is a better man than + 'tother—I'll know which, before I go ashore." + </p> + <p> + "You've come to the right shop—I'm your man. I'll learn you to come + aboard this ship without an invite." + </p> + <p> + He seized Noakes, backed him against the mainmast, pounded his face to a + pulp, and then threw him overboard. + </p> + <p> + Noakes was not convinced. He returned the next night, got the pulp + renewed, and went overboard head first, as before. + </p> + <p> + He was satisfied. + </p> + <p> + A week after this, while Noakes was carousing with a sailor crowd on + shore, at noonday, Capt. Ned's colored mate came along, and Noakes tried + to pick a quarrel with him. The negro evaded the trap, and tried to get + away. Noakes followed him up; the negro began to run; Noakes fired on him + with a revolver and killed him. Half a dozen sea-captains witnessed the + whole affair. Noakes retreated to the small after-cabin of his ship, with + two other bullies, and gave out that death would be the portion of any man + that intruded there. There was no attempt made to follow the villains; + there was no disposition to do it, and indeed very little thought of such + an enterprise. There were no courts and no officers; there was no + government; the islands belonged to Peru, and Peru was far away; she had + no official representative on the ground; and neither had any other + nation. + </p> + <p> + However, Capt. Ned was not perplexing his head about such things. They + concerned him not. He was boiling with rage and furious for justice. At + nine o'clock at night he loaded a double-barreled gun with slugs, fished + out a pair of handcuffs, got a ship's lantern, summoned his quartermaster, + and went ashore. He said: + </p> + <p> + "Do you see that ship there at the dock?" + </p> + <p> + "Ay-ay, sir." + </p> + <p> + "It's the Venus." + </p> + <p> + "Ay-ay, sir." + </p> + <p> + "You—you know me." + </p> + <p> + "Ay-ay, sir." + </p> + <p> + "Very well, then. Take the lantern. Carry it just under your chin. I'll + walk behind you and rest this gun-barrel on your shoulder, p'inting + forward—so. Keep your lantern well up so's I can see things ahead of + you good. I'm going to march in on Noakes—and take him—and jug + the other chaps. If you flinch—well, you know me." + </p> + <p> + "Ay-ay, sir." + </p> + <p> + In this order they filed aboard softly, arrived at Noakes's den, the + quartermaster pushed the door open, and the lantern revealed the three + desperadoes sitting on the floor. Capt. Ned said: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link355" id="link355"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="355.jpg (93K)" src="images/355.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "I'm Ned Blakely. I've got you under fire. Don't you move without orders—any + of you. You two kneel down in the corner; faces to the wall—now. + Bill Noakes, put these handcuffs on; now come up close. Quartermaster, + fasten 'em. All right. Don't stir, sir. Quartermaster, put the key in the + outside of the door. Now, men, I'm going to lock you two in; and if you + try to burst through this door—well, you've heard of me. Bill + Noakes, fall in ahead, and march. All set. Quartermaster, lock the door." + </p> + <p> + Noakes spent the night on board Blakely's ship, a prisoner under strict + guard. Early in the morning Capt. Ned called in all the sea-captains in + the harbor and invited them, with nautical ceremony, to be present on + board his ship at nine o'clock to witness the hanging of Noakes at the + yard-arm! + </p> + <p> + "What! The man has not been tried." + </p> + <p> + "Of course he hasn't. But didn't he kill the nigger?" + </p> + <p> + "Certainly he did; but you are not thinking of hanging him without a + trial?" + </p> + <p> + "Trial! What do I want to try him for, if he killed the nigger?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Capt. Ned, this will never do. Think how it will sound." + </p> + <p> + "Sound be hanged! Didn't he kill the nigger?" + </p> + <p> + "Certainly, certainly, Capt. Ned,—nobody denies that,—but—" + </p> + <p> + "Then I'm going to hang him, that's all. Everybody I've talked to talks + just the same way you do. Everybody says he killed the nigger, everybody + knows he killed the nigger, and yet every lubber of you wants him tried + for it. I don't understand such bloody foolishness as that. Tried! Mind + you, I don't object to trying him, if it's got to be done to give + satisfaction; and I'll be there, and chip in and help, too; but put it off + till afternoon—put it off till afternoon, for I'll have my hands + middling full till after the burying—" + </p> + <p> + "Why, what do you mean? Are you going to hang him any how—and try + him afterward?" + </p> + <p> + "Didn't I say I was going to hang him? I never saw such people as you. + What's the difference? You ask a favor, and then you ain't satisfied when + you get it. Before or after's all one—you know how the trial will + go. He killed the nigger. Say—I must be going. If your mate would + like to come to the hanging, fetch him along. I like him." + </p> + <p> + There was a stir in the camp. The captains came in a body and pleaded with + Capt. Ned not to do this rash thing. They promised that they would create + a court composed of captains of the best character; they would empanel a + jury; they would conduct everything in a way becoming the serious nature + of the business in hand, and give the case an impartial hearing and the + accused a fair trial. And they said it would be murder, and punishable by + the American courts if he persisted and hung the accused on his ship. They + pleaded hard. Capt. Ned said: + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, I'm not stubborn and I'm not unreasonable. I'm always willing + to do just as near right as I can. How long will it take?" + </p> + <p> + "Probably only a little while." + </p> + <p> + "And can I take him up the shore and hang him as soon as you are done?" + </p> + <p> + "If he is proven guilty he shall be hanged without unnecessary delay." + </p> + <p> + "If he's proven guilty. Great Neptune, ain't he guilty? This beats my + time. Why you all know he's guilty." + </p> + <p> + But at last they satisfied him that they were projecting nothing + underhanded. Then he said: + </p> + <p> + "Well, all right. You go on and try him and I'll go down and overhaul his + conscience and prepare him to go—like enough he needs it, and I + don't want to send him off without a show for hereafter." + </p> + <p> + This was another obstacle. They finally convinced him that it was + necessary to have the accused in court. Then they said they would send a + guard to bring him. + </p> + <p> + "No, sir, I prefer to fetch him myself—he don't get out of my hands. + Besides, I've got to go to the ship to get a rope, anyway." + </p> + <p> + The court assembled with due ceremony, empaneled a jury, and presently + Capt. Ned entered, leading the prisoner with one hand and carrying a Bible + and a rope in the other. He seated himself by the side of his captive and + told the court to "up anchor and make sail." Then he turned a searching + eye on the jury, and detected Noakes's friends, the two bullies. + </p> + <p> + He strode over and said to them confidentially: + </p> + <p> + "You're here to interfere, you see. Now you vote right, do you hear?—or + else there'll be a double-barreled inquest here when this trial's off, and + your remainders will go home in a couple of baskets." + </p> + <p> + The caution was not without fruit. The jury was a unit—the verdict. + "Guilty." + </p> + <p> + Capt. Ned sprung to his feet and said: + </p> + <p> + "Come along—you're my meat now, my lad, anyway. Gentlemen you've + done yourselves proud. I invite you all to come and see that I do it all + straight. Follow me to the canyon, a mile above here." + </p> + <p> + The court informed him that a sheriff had been appointed to do the + hanging, and— + </p> + <p> + Capt. Ned's patience was at an end. His wrath was boundless. The subject + of a sheriff was judiciously dropped. + </p> + <p> + When the crowd arrived at the canyon, Capt. Ned climbed a tree and + arranged the halter, then came down and noosed his man. He opened his + Bible, and laid aside his hat. Selecting a chapter at random, he read it + through, in a deep bass voice and with sincere solemnity. Then he said: + </p> + <p> + "Lad, you are about to go aloft and give an account of yourself; and the + lighter a man's manifest is, as far as sin's concerned, the better for + him. Make a clean breast, man, and carry a log with you that'll bear + inspection. You killed the nigger?" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link358" id="link358"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="358.jpg (61K)" src="images/358.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + No reply. A long pause. + </p> + <p> + The captain read another chapter, pausing, from time to time, to impress + the effect. Then he talked an earnest, persuasive sermon to him, and ended + by repeating the question: + </p> + <p> + "Did you kill the nigger?" + </p> + <p> + No reply—other than a malignant scowl. The captain now read the + first and second chapters of Genesis, with deep feeling—paused a + moment, closed the book reverently, and said with a perceptible savor of + satisfaction: + </p> + <p> + "There. Four chapters. There's few that would have took the pains with you + that I have." + </p> + <p> + Then he swung up the condemned, and made the rope fast; stood by and timed + him half an hour with his watch, and then delivered the body to the court. + A little after, as he stood contemplating the motionless figure, a doubt + came into his face; evidently he felt a twinge of conscience—a + misgiving—and he said with a sigh: + </p> + <p> + "Well, p'raps I ought to burnt him, maybe. But I was trying to do for the + best." + </p> + <p> + When the history of this affair reached California (it was in the "early + days") it made a deal of talk, but did not diminish the captain's + popularity in any degree. It increased it, indeed. California had a + population then that "inflicted" justice after a fashion that was + simplicity and primitiveness itself, and could therefore admire + appreciatively when the same fashion was followed elsewhere. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link359" id="link359"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="359.jpg (38K)" src="images/359.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch51" id="linkch51"></a> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Vice flourished luxuriantly during the hey-day of our "flush times." The + saloons were overburdened with custom; so were the police courts, the + gambling dens, the brothels and the jails—unfailing signs of high + prosperity in a mining region—in any region for that matter. Is it + not so? A crowded police court docket is the surest of all signs that + trade is brisk and money plenty. Still, there is one other sign; it comes + last, but when it does come it establishes beyond cavil that the "flush + times" are at the flood. This is the birth of the "literary" paper. The + Weekly Occidental, "devoted to literature," made its appearance in + Virginia. All the literary people were engaged to write for it. Mr. F. was + to edit it. He was a felicitous skirmisher with a pen, and a man who could + say happy things in a crisp, neat way. Once, while editor of the Union, he + had disposed of a labored, incoherent, two-column attack made upon him by + a contemporary, with a single line, which, at first glance, seemed to + contain a solemn and tremendous compliment—viz.: "THE LOGIC OF OUR + ADVERSARY RESEMBLES THE PEACE OF GOD,"—and left it to the reader's + memory and after-thought to invest the remark with another and "more + different" meaning by supplying for himself and at his own leisure the + rest of the Scripture—"in that it passeth understanding." He once + said of a little, half-starved, wayside community that had no subsistence + except what they could get by preying upon chance passengers who stopped + over with them a day when traveling by the overland stage, that in their + Church service they had altered the Lord's Prayer to read: "Give us this + day our daily stranger!" + </p> + <p> + We expected great things of the Occidental. Of course it could not get + along without an original novel, and so we made arrangements to hurl into + the work the full strength of the company. Mrs. F. was an able romancist + of the ineffable school—I know no other name to apply to a school + whose heroes are all dainty and all perfect. She wrote the opening + chapter, and introduced a lovely blonde simpleton who talked nothing but + pearls and poetry and who was virtuous to the verge of eccentricity. She + also introduced a young French Duke of aggravated refinement, in love with + the blonde. Mr. F. followed next week, with a brilliant lawyer who set + about getting the Duke's estates into trouble, and a sparkling young lady + of high society who fell to fascinating the Duke and impairing the + appetite of the blonde. Mr. D., a dark and bloody editor of one of the + dailies, followed Mr. F., the third week, introducing a mysterious + Roscicrucian who transmuted metals, held consultations with the devil in a + cave at dead of night, and cast the horoscope of the several heroes and + heroines in such a way as to provide plenty of trouble for their future + careers and breed a solemn and awful public interest in the novel. He also + introduced a cloaked and masked melodramatic miscreant, put him on a + salary and set him on the midnight track of the Duke with a poisoned + dagger. He also created an Irish coachman with a rich brogue and placed + him in the service of the society-young-lady with an ulterior mission to + carry billet-doux to the Duke. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link361" id="link361"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="361.jpg (79K)" src="images/361.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + About this time there arrived in Virginia a dissolute stranger with a + literary turn of mind—rather seedy he was, but very quiet and + unassuming; almost diffident, indeed. He was so gentle, and his manners + were so pleasing and kindly, whether he was sober or intoxicated, that he + made friends of all who came in contact with him. He applied for literary + work, offered conclusive evidence that he wielded an easy and practiced + pen, and so Mr. F. engaged him at once to help write the novel. His + chapter was to follow Mr. D.'s, and mine was to come next. Now what does + this fellow do but go off and get drunk and then proceed to his quarters + and set to work with his imagination in a state of chaos, and that chaos + in a condition of extravagant activity. The result may be guessed. He + scanned the chapters of his predecessors, found plenty of heroes and + heroines already created, and was satisfied with them; he decided to + introduce no more; with all the confidence that whisky inspires and all + the easy complacency it gives to its servant, he then launched himself + lovingly into his work: he married the coachman to the society-young-lady + for the sake of the scandal; married the Duke to the blonde's stepmother, + for the sake of the sensation; stopped the desperado's salary; created a + misunderstanding between the devil and the Roscicrucian; threw the Duke's + property into the wicked lawyer's hands; made the lawyer's upbraiding + conscience drive him to drink, thence to delirium tremens, thence to + suicide; broke the coachman's neck; let his widow succumb to contumely, + neglect, poverty and consumption; caused the blonde to drown herself, + leaving her clothes on the bank with the customary note pinned to them + forgiving the Duke and hoping he would be happy; revealed to the Duke, by + means of the usual strawberry mark on left arm, that he had married his + own long-lost mother and destroyed his long-lost sister; instituted the + proper and necessary suicide of the Duke and the Duchess in order to + compass poetical justice; opened the earth and let the Roscicrucian + through, accompanied with the accustomed smoke and thunder and smell of + brimstone, and finished with the promise that in the next chapter, after + holding a general inquest, he would take up the surviving character of the + novel and tell what became of the devil! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link362" id="link362"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="362.jpg (39K)" src="images/362.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It read with singular smoothness, and with a "dead" earnestness that was + funny enough to suffocate a body. But there was war when it came in. The + other novelists were furious. The mild stranger, not yet more than half + sober, stood there, under a scathing fire of vituperation, meek and + bewildered, looking from one to another of his assailants, and wondering + what he could have done to invoke such a storm. When a lull came at last, + he said his say gently and appealingly—said he did not rightly + remember what he had written, but was sure he had tried to do the best he + could, and knew his object had been to make the novel not only pleasant + and plausible but instructive and—— + </p> + <p> + The bombardment began again. The novelists assailed his ill-chosen + adjectives and demolished them with a storm of denunciation and ridicule. + And so the siege went on. Every time the stranger tried to appease the + enemy he only made matters worse. Finally he offered to rewrite the + chapter. This arrested hostilities. The indignation gradually quieted + down, peace reigned again and the sufferer retired in safety and got him + to his own citadel. + </p> + <p> + But on the way thither the evil angel tempted him and he got drunk again. + And again his imagination went mad. He led the heroes and heroines a + wilder dance than ever; and yet all through it ran that same convincing + air of honesty and earnestness that had marked his first work. He got the + characters into the most extraordinary situations, put them through the + most surprising performances, and made them talk the strangest talk! But + the chapter cannot be described. It was symmetrically crazy; it was + artistically absurd; and it had explanatory footnotes that were fully as + curious as the text. I remember one of the "situations," and will offer it + as an example of the whole. He altered the character of the brilliant + lawyer, and made him a great-hearted, splendid fellow; gave him fame and + riches, and set his age at thirty-three years. Then he made the blonde + discover, through the help of the Roscicrucian and the melodramatic + miscreant, that while the Duke loved her money ardently and wanted it, he + secretly felt a sort of leaning toward the society-young-lady. Stung to + the quick, she tore her affections from him and bestowed them with tenfold + power upon the lawyer, who responded with consuming zeal. But the parents + would none of it. What they wanted in the family was a Duke; and a Duke + they were determined to have; though they confessed that next to the Duke + the lawyer had their preference. Necessarily the blonde now went into a + decline. The parents were alarmed. They pleaded with her to marry the + Duke, but she steadfastly refused, and pined on. Then they laid a plan. + They told her to wait a year and a day, and if at the end of that time she + still felt that she could not marry the Duke, she might marry the lawyer + with their full consent. The result was as they had foreseen: gladness + came again, and the flush of returning health. Then the parents took the + next step in their scheme. They had the family physician recommend a long + sea voyage and much land travel for the thorough restoration of the + blonde's strength; and they invited the Duke to be of the party. They + judged that the Duke's constant presence and the lawyer's protracted + absence would do the rest—for they did not invite the lawyer. + </p> + <p> + So they set sail in a steamer for America—and the third day out, + when their sea-sickness called truce and permitted them to take their + first meal at the public table, behold there sat the lawyer! The Duke and + party made the best of an awkward situation; the voyage progressed, and + the vessel neared America. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link365" id="link365"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="365.jpg (74K)" src="images/365.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But, by and by, two hundred miles off New Bedford, the ship took fire; she + burned to the water's edge; of all her crew and passengers, only thirty + were saved. They floated about the sea half an afternoon and all night + long. Among them were our friends. The lawyer, by superhuman exertions, + had saved the blonde and her parents, swimming back and forth two hundred + yards and bringing one each time—(the girl first). The Duke had + saved himself. In the morning two whale ships arrived on the scene and + sent their boats. The weather was stormy and the embarkation was attended + with much confusion and excitement. The lawyer did his duty like a man; + helped his exhausted and insensible blonde, her parents and some others + into a boat (the Duke helped himself in); then a child fell overboard at + the other end of the raft and the lawyer rushed thither and helped half a + dozen people fish it out, under the stimulus of its mother's screams. Then + he ran back—a few seconds too late—the blonde's boat was under + way. So he had to take the other boat, and go to the other ship. The storm + increased and drove the vessels out of sight of each other—drove + them whither it would. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link366" id="link366"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="366.jpg (83K)" src="images/366.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + When it calmed, at the end of three days, the blonde's ship was seven + hundred miles north of Boston and the other about seven hundred south of + that port. The blonde's captain was bound on a whaling cruise in the North + Atlantic and could not go back such a distance or make a port without + orders; such being nautical law. The lawyer's captain was to cruise in the + North Pacific, and he could not go back or make a port without orders. All + the lawyer's money and baggage were in the blonde's boat and went to the + blonde's ship—so his captain made him work his passage as a common + sailor. When both ships had been cruising nearly a year, the one was off + the coast of Greenland and the other in Behring's Strait. The blonde had + long ago been well-nigh persuaded that her lawyer had been washed + overboard and lost just before the whale ships reached the raft, and now, + under the pleadings of her parents and the Duke she was at last beginning + to nerve herself for the doom of the covenant, and prepare for the hated + marriage. + </p> + <p> + But she would not yield a day before the date set. The weeks dragged on, + the time narrowed, orders were given to deck the ship for the wedding—a + wedding at sea among icebergs and walruses. Five days more and all would + be over. So the blonde reflected, with a sigh and a tear. Oh where was her + true love—and why, why did he not come and save her? At that moment + he was lifting his harpoon to strike a whale in Behring's Strait, five + thousand miles away, by the way of the Arctic Ocean, or twenty thousand by + the way of the Horn—that was the reason. He struck, but not with + perfect aim—his foot slipped and he fell in the whale's mouth and + went down his throat. He was insensible five days. Then he came to himself + and heard voices; daylight was streaming through a hole cut in the whale's + roof. He climbed out and astonished the sailors who were hoisting blubber + up a ship's side. He recognized the vessel, flew aboard, surprised the + wedding party at the altar and exclaimed: + </p> + <p> + "Stop the proceedings—I'm here! Come to my arms, my own!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link367" id="link367"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="367.jpg (88K)" src="images/367.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + There were foot-notes to this extravagant piece of literature wherein the + author endeavored to show that the whole thing was within the + possibilities; he said he got the incident of the whale traveling from + Behring's Strait to the coast of Greenland, five thousand miles in five + days, through the Arctic Ocean, from Charles Reade's "Love Me Little Love + Me Long," and considered that that established the fact that the thing + could be done; and he instanced Jonah's adventure as proof that a man + could live in a whale's belly, and added that if a preacher could stand it + three days a lawyer could surely stand it five! + </p> + <p> + There was a fiercer storm than ever in the editorial sanctum now, and the + stranger was peremptorily discharged, and his manuscript flung at his + head. But he had already delayed things so much that there was not time + for some one else to rewrite the chapter, and so the paper came out + without any novel in it. It was but a feeble, struggling, stupid journal, + and the absence of the novel probably shook public confidence; at any + rate, before the first side of the next issue went to press, the Weekly + Occidental died as peacefully as an infant. + </p> + <p> + An effort was made to resurrect it, with the proposed advantage of a + telling new title, and Mr. F. said that The Phenix would be just the name + for it, because it would give the idea of a resurrection from its dead + ashes in a new and undreamed of condition of splendor; but some low- + priced smarty on one of the dailies suggested that we call it the Lazarus; + and inasmuch as the people were not profound in Scriptural matters but + thought the resurrected Lazarus and the dilapidated mendicant that begged + in the rich man's gateway were one and the same person, the name became + the laughing stock of the town, and killed the paper for good and all. + </p> + <p> + I was sorry enough, for I was very proud of being connected with a + literary paper—prouder than I have ever been of anything since, + perhaps. I had written some rhymes for it—poetry I considered it—and + it was a great grief to me that the production was on the "first side" of + the issue that was not completed, and hence did not see the light. But + time brings its revenges—I can put it in here; it will answer in + place of a tear dropped to the memory of the lost Occidental. The idea + (not the chief idea, but the vehicle that bears it) was probably suggested + by the old song called "The Raging Canal," but I cannot remember now. I do + remember, though, that at that time I thought my doggerel was one of the + ablest poems of the age: + </p> + <h3> + THE AGED PILOT MAN. + </h3> + <blockquote> + <p> + On the Erie Canal, it was,<br /> All on a summer's day,<br /> I sailed + forth with my parents<br /> Far away to Albany. + </p> + <p> + From out the clouds at noon that day<br /> There came a dreadful storm,<br /> + That piled the billows high about,<br /> And filled us with alarm. + </p> + <p> + A man came rushing from a house,<br /> Saying, "Snub up your boat I pray,<br /> + [The customary canal technicality for 'tie up.']<br /> Snub up your boat, + snub up, alas,<br /> Snub up while yet you may." + </p> + <p> + Our captain cast one glance astern,<br /> Then forward glanced he,<br /> + And said, "My wife and little ones<br /> I never more shall see." + </p> + <p> + Said Dollinger the pilot man,<br /> In noble words, but few,--<br /> "Fear + not, but lean on Dollinger,<br /> And he will fetch you through." + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link370" id="link370"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="370.jpg (53K)" src="images/370.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + The boat drove on, the frightened mules<br /> Tore through the rain and + wind,<br /> And bravely still, in danger's post,<br /> The whip-boy strode + behind. + </p> + <p> + "Come 'board, come 'board," the captain cried,<br /> "Nor tempt so wild a + storm;"<br /> But still the raging mules advanced,<br /> And still the boy + strode on. + </p> + <p> + Then said the captain to us all,<br /> "Alas, 'tis plain to me,<br /> The + greater danger is not there,<br /> But here upon the sea. + </p> + <p> + "So let us strive, while life remains,<br /> To save all souls on board,<br /> + And then if die at last we must,<br /> Let . . . . + I cannot speak the word!" + </p> + <p> + Said Dollinger the pilot man,<br /> Tow'ring above the crew,<br /> "Fear + not, but trust in Dollinger,<br /> And he will fetch you through." + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link371" id="link371"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="371.jpg (102K)" src="images/371.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Low bridge! low bridge!" all heads went down,<br /> The laboring + bark sped on;<br /> A mill we passed, we passed church,<br /> Hamlets, and + fields of corn;<br /> And all the world came out to see,<br /> And chased + along the shore<br /> Crying, "Alas, alas, the sheeted rain,<br /> The + wind, the tempest's roar!<br /> Alas, the gallant ship and crew,<br /> Can + nothing help them more?" + </p> + <p> + And from our deck sad eyes looked out<br /> Across the stormy scene:<br /> + The tossing wake of billows aft,<br /> The bending forests green,<br /> + The chickens sheltered under carts<br /> In lee of barn the cows,<br /> + The skurrying swine with straw in mouth,<br /> The wild spray from our + bows! + </p> + <p> + "She balances!<br /> She wavers!<br /> Now let her go about!<br /> If she + misses stays and broaches to,<br /> We're all"--then with a shout,<br /> + "Huray! huray!<br /> Avast! belay!<br /> Take in more sail!<br /> + Lord, what a gale!<br /> Ho, boy, haul taut on the hind mule's tail!"<br /> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link372" id="link372"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="372.jpg (105K)" src="images/372.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Ho! lighten ship! ho! man the pump!<br /> Ho, hostler, + heave the lead!" + </p> + <p> + "A quarter-three!--'tis shoaling fast!<br /> Three feet large!--t-h-r-e-e + feet!--<br /> Three feet scant!" I cried in fright<br /> "Oh, is there no + retreat?" + </p> + <p> + Said Dollinger, the pilot man,<br /> As on the vessel flew,<br /> "Fear + not, but trust in Dollinger,<br /> And he will fetch you through." + </p> + <p> + A panic struck the bravest hearts,<br /> The boldest cheek turned pale;<br /> + For plain to all, this shoaling said<br /> A leak had burst the ditch's + bed!<br /> And, straight as bolt from crossbow sped,<br /> Our ship swept + on, with shoaling lead,<br /> Before the fearful gale! + </p> + <p> + "Sever the tow-line! Cripple the mules!"<br /> Too late! There + comes a shock!<br /> Another length, and the fated craft<br /> Would have + swum in the saving lock! + </p> + <p> + Then gathered together the shipwrecked crew<br /> And took one last + embrace,<br /> While sorrowful tears from despairing eyes<br /> Ran down + each hopeless face;<br /> And some did think of their little ones<br /> + Whom they never more might see,<br /> And others of waiting wives at + home,<br /> And mothers that grieved would be. + </p> + <p> + But of all the children of misery there<br /> On that poor sinking frame,<br /> + But one spake words of hope and faith,<br /> And I worshipped as they + came:<br /> Said Dollinger the pilot man,--<br /> (O brave heart, strong + and true!)--<br /> "Fear not, but trust in Dollinger,<br /> For he will + fetch you through." + </p> + <p> + Lo! scarce the words have passed his lips<br /> The dauntless + prophet say'th,<br /> When every soul about him seeth<br /> A wonder crown + his faith! + </p> + <p> + "And count ye all, both great and small,<br /> As numbered with the dead:<br /> + For mariner for forty year,<br /> On Erie, boy and man,<br /> I never yet + saw such a storm,<br /> Or one't with it began!" + </p> + <p> + So overboard a keg of nails<br /> And anvils three we threw,<br /> + Likewise four bales of gunny-sacks,<br /> Two hundred pounds of glue,<br /> + Two sacks of corn, four ditto wheat,<br /> A box of books, a cow,<br /> A + violin, Lord Byron's works,<br /> A rip-saw and a sow. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link374" id="link374"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="374.jpg (67K)" src="images/374.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + A curve! a curve! the dangers grow!<br /> + "Labbord!--stabbord!--s-t-e-a-d-y!--so!--<br /> Hard-a-port, + Dol!--hellum-a-lee!<br /> Haw the head mule!--the aft one gee!<br /> + Luff!--bring her to the wind!" + </p> + <p> + For straight a farmer brought a plank,--<br /> (Mysteriously inspired)--<br /> + And laying it unto the ship,<br /> In silent awe retired. + </p> + <p> + Then every sufferer stood amazed<br /> That pilot man before;<br /> A + moment stood. Then wondering turned,<br /> And speechless walked + ashore. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <a name="link375" id="link375"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="375.jpg (82K)" src="images/375.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch52" id="linkch52"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Since I desire, in this chapter, to say an instructive word or two about + the silver mines, the reader may take this fair warning and skip, if he + chooses. The year 1863 was perhaps the very top blossom and culmination of + the "flush times." Virginia swarmed with men and vehicles to that degree + that the place looked like a very hive—that is when one's vision + could pierce through the thick fog of alkali dust that was generally + blowing in summer. I will say, concerning this dust, that if you drove ten + miles through it, you and your horses would be coated with it a sixteenth + of an inch thick and present an outside appearance that was a uniform pale + yellow color, and your buggy would have three inches of dust in it, thrown + there by the wheels. The delicate scales used by the assayers were + inclosed in glass cases intended to be air-tight, and yet some of this + dust was so impalpable and so invisibly fine that it would get in, + somehow, and impair the accuracy of those scales. + </p> + <p> + Speculation ran riot, and yet there was a world of substantial business + going on, too. All freights were brought over the mountains from + California (150 miles) by pack-train partly, and partly in huge wagons + drawn by such long mule teams that each team amounted to a procession, and + it did seem, sometimes, that the grand combined procession of animals + stretched unbroken from Virginia to California. Its long route was + traceable clear across the deserts of the Territory by the writhing + serpent of dust it lifted up. By these wagons, freights over that hundred + and fifty miles were $200 a ton for small lots (same price for all express + matter brought by stage), and $100 a ton for full loads. One Virginia firm + received one hundred tons of freight a month, and paid $10,000 a month + freightage. In the winter the freights were much higher. All the bullion + was shipped in bars by stage to San Francisco (a bar was usually about + twice the size of a pig of lead and contained from $1,500 to $3,000 + according to the amount of gold mixed with the silver), and the freight on + it (when the shipment was large) was one and a quarter per cent. of its + intrinsic value. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link377" id="link377"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="377.jpg (16K)" src="images/377.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + So, the freight on these bars probably averaged something more than $25 + each. Small shippers paid two per cent. There were three stages a day, + each way, and I have seen the out-going stages carry away a third of a ton + of bullion each, and more than once I saw them divide a two-ton lot and + take it off. However, these were extraordinary events. [Mr. Valentine, + Wells Fargo's agent, has handled all the bullion shipped through the + Virginia office for many a month. To his memory—which is excellent—we + are indebted for the following exhibit of the company's business in the + Virginia office since the first of January, 1862: From January 1st to + April 1st, about $270,000 worth of bullion passed through that office, + during the next quarter, $570,000; next quarter, $800,000; next quarter, + $956,000; next quarter, $1,275,000; and for the quarter ending on the 30th + of last June, about $1,600,000. Thus in a year and a half, the Virginia + office only shipped $5,330,000 in bullion. During the year 1862 they + shipped $2,615,000, so we perceive the average shipments have more than + doubled in the last six months. This gives us room to promise for the + Virginia office $500,000 a month for the year 1863 (though perhaps, + judging by the steady increase in the business, we are under estimating, + somewhat). This gives us $6,000,000 for the year. Gold Hill and Silver + City together can beat us—we will give them $10,000,000. To Dayton, + Empire City, Ophir and Carson City, we will allow an aggregate of + $8,000,000, which is not over the mark, perhaps, and may possibly be a + little under it. To Esmeralda we give $4,000,000. To Reese River and + Humboldt $2,000,000, which is liberal now, but may not be before the year + is out. So we prognosticate that the yield of bullion this year will be + about $30,000,000. Placing the number of mills in the Territory at one + hundred, this gives to each the labor of producing $300,000 in bullion + during the twelve months. Allowing them to run three hundred days in the + year (which none of them more than do), this makes their work average + $1,000 a day. Say the mills average twenty tons of rock a day and this + rock worth $50 as a general thing, and you have the actual work of our one + hundred mills figured down "to a spot"—$1,000 a day each, and + $30,000,000 a year in the aggregate.—Enterprise. [A considerable + over estimate—M. T.]] + </p> + <p> + Two tons of silver bullion would be in the neighborhood of forty bars, and + the freight on it over $1,000. Each coach always carried a deal of + ordinary express matter beside, and also from fifteen to twenty passengers + at from $25 to $30 a head. With six stages going all the time, Wells, + Fargo and Co.'s Virginia City business was important and lucrative. + </p> + <p> + All along under the centre of Virginia and Gold Hill, for a couple of + miles, ran the great Comstock silver lode—a vein of ore from fifty + to eighty feet thick between its solid walls of rock—a vein as wide + as some of New York's streets. I will remind the reader that in + Pennsylvania a coal vein only eight feet wide is considered ample. + </p> + <p> + Virginia was a busy city of streets and houses above ground. Under it was + another busy city, down in the bowels of the earth, where a great + population of men thronged in and out among an intricate maze of tunnels + and drifts, flitting hither and thither under a winking sparkle of lights, + and over their heads towered a vast web of interlocking timbers that held + the walls of the gutted Comstock apart. These timbers were as large as a + man's body, and the framework stretched upward so far that no eye could + pierce to its top through the closing gloom. It was like peering up + through the clean-picked ribs and bones of some colossal skeleton. Imagine + such a framework two miles long, sixty feet wide, and higher than any + church spire in America. Imagine this stately lattice- work stretching + down Broadway, from the St. Nicholas to Wall street, and a Fourth of July + procession, reduced to pigmies, parading on top of it and flaunting their + flags, high above the pinnacle of Trinity steeple. One can imagine that, + but he cannot well imagine what that forest of timbers cost, from the time + they were felled in the pineries beyond Washoe Lake, hauled up and around + Mount Davidson at atrocious rates of freightage, then squared, let down + into the deep maw of the mine and built up there. Twenty ample fortunes + would not timber one of the greatest of those silver mines. The Spanish + proverb says it requires a gold mine to "run" a silver one, and it is + true. A beggar with a silver mine is a pitiable pauper indeed if he cannot + sell. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link379" id="link379"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="379.jpg (47K)" src="images/379.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I spoke of the underground Virginia as a city. The Gould and Curry is only + one single mine under there, among a great many others; yet the Gould and + Curry's streets of dismal drifts and tunnels were five miles in extent, + altogether, and its population five hundred miners. Taken as a whole, the + underground city had some thirty miles of streets and a population of five + or six thousand. In this present day some of those populations are at work + from twelve to sixteen hundred feet under Virginia and Gold Hill, and the + signal-bells that tell them what the superintendent above ground desires + them to do are struck by telegraph as we strike a fire alarm. Sometimes + men fall down a shaft, there, a thousand feet deep. In such cases, the + usual plan is to hold an inquest. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link380" id="link380"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="380.jpg (161K)" src="images/380.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + If you wish to visit one of those mines, you may walk through a tunnel + about half a mile long if you prefer it, or you may take the quicker plan + of shooting like a dart down a shaft, on a small platform. It is like + tumbling down through an empty steeple, feet first. When you reach the + bottom, you take a candle and tramp through drifts and tunnels where + throngs of men are digging and blasting; you watch them send up tubs full + of great lumps of stone—silver ore; you select choice specimens from + the mass, as souvenirs; you admire the world of skeleton timbering; you + reflect frequently that you are buried under a mountain, a thousand feet + below daylight; being in the bottom of the mine you climb from "gallery" + to "gallery," up endless ladders that stand straight up and down; when + your legs fail you at last, you lie down in a small box-car in a cramped + "incline" like a half-up-ended sewer and are dragged up to daylight + feeling as if you are crawling through a coffin that has no end to it. + Arrived at the top, you find a busy crowd of men receiving the ascending + cars and tubs and dumping the ore from an elevation into long rows of bins + capable of holding half a dozen tons each; under the bins are rows of + wagons loading from chutes and trap-doors in the bins, and down the long + street is a procession of these wagons wending toward the silver mills + with their rich freight. It is all "done," now, and there you are. You + need never go down again, for you have seen it all. If you have forgotten + the process of reducing the ore in the mill and making the silver bars, + you can go back and find it again in my Esmeralda chapters if so disposed. + </p> + <p> + Of course these mines cave in, in places, occasionally, and then it is + worth one's while to take the risk of descending into them and observing + the crushing power exerted by the pressing weight of a settling mountain. + I published such an experience in the Enterprise, once, and from it I will + take an extract: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + AN HOUR IN THE CAVED MINES.—We journeyed down into the Ophir mine, + yesterday, to see the earthquake. We could not go down the deep incline, + because it still has a propensity to cave in places. Therefore we + traveled through the long tunnel which enters the hill above the Ophir + office, and then by means of a series of long ladders, climbed away down + from the first to the fourth gallery. Traversing a drift, we came to the + Spanish line, passed five sets of timbers still uninjured, and found the + earthquake. Here was as complete a chaos as ever was seen—vast + masses of earth and splintered and broken timbers piled confusedly + together, with scarcely an aperture left large enough for a cat to creep + through. Rubbish was still falling at intervals from above, and one + timber which had braced others earlier in the day, was now crushed down + out of its former position, showing that the caving and settling of the + tremendous mass was still going on. We were in that portion of the Ophir + known as the "north mines." Returning to the surface, we entered a + tunnel leading into the Central, for the purpose of getting into the + main Ophir. Descending a long incline in this tunnel, we traversed a + drift or so, and then went down a deep shaft from whence we proceeded + into the fifth gallery of the Ophir. From a side-drift we crawled + through a small hole and got into the midst of the earthquake again—earth + and broken timbers mingled together without regard to grace or symmetry. + A large portion of the second, third and fourth galleries had caved in + and gone to destruction—the two latter at seven o'clock on the + previous evening. + </p> + <p> + At the turn-table, near the northern extremity of the fifth gallery, two + big piles of rubbish had forced their way through from the fifth + gallery, and from the looks of the timbers, more was about to come. + These beams are solid—eighteen inches square; first, a great beam + is laid on the floor, then upright ones, five feet high, stand on it, + supporting another horizontal beam, and so on, square above square, like + the framework of a window. The superincumbent weight was sufficient to + mash the ends of those great upright beams fairly into the solid wood of + the horizontal ones three inches, compressing and bending the upright + beam till it curved like a bow. Before the Spanish caved in, some of + their twelve-inch horizontal timbers were compressed in this way until + they were only five inches thick! Imagine the power it must take to + squeeze a solid log together in that way. Here, also, was a range of + timbers, for a distance of twenty feet, tilted six inches out of the + perpendicular by the weight resting upon them from the caved galleries + above. You could hear things cracking and giving way, and it was not + pleasant to know that the world overhead was slowly and silently sinking + down upon you. The men down in the mine do not mind it, however. + </p> + <p> + Returning along the fifth gallery, we struck the safe part of the Ophir + incline, and went down it to the sixth; but we found ten inches of water + there, and had to come back. In repairing the damage done to the + incline, the pump had to be stopped for two hours, and in the meantime + the water gained about a foot. However, the pump was at work again, and + the flood-water was decreasing. We climbed up to the fifth gallery again + and sought a deep shaft, whereby we might descend to another part of the + sixth, out of reach of the water, but suffered disappointment, as the + men had gone to dinner, and there was no one to man the windlass. So, + having seen the earthquake, we climbed out at the Union incline and + tunnel, and adjourned, all dripping with candle grease and perspiration, + to lunch at the Ophir office. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + During the great flush year of 1863, Nevada [claims to have] produced + $25,000,000 in bullion—almost, if not quite, a round million to each + thousand inhabitants, which is very well, considering that she was without + agriculture and manufactures. Silver mining was her sole productive + industry. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + [Since the above was in type, I learn from an official source that the + above figure is too high, and that the yield for 1863 did not exceed + $20,000,000.] However, the day for large figures is approaching; the + Sutro Tunnel is to plow through the Comstock lode from end to end, at a + depth of two thousand feet, and then mining will be easy and + comparatively inexpensive; and the momentous matters of drainage, and + hoisting and hauling of ore will cease to be burdensome. This vast work + will absorb many years, and millions of dollars, in its completion; but + it will early yield money, for that desirable epoch will begin as soon + as it strikes the first end of the vein. The tunnel will be some eight + miles long, and will develop astonishing riches. Cars will carry the ore + through the tunnel and dump it in the mills and thus do away with the + present costly system of double handling and transportation by mule + teams. The water from the tunnel will furnish the motive power for the + mills. Mr. Sutro, the originator of this prodigious enterprise, is one + of the few men in the world who is gifted with the pluck and + perseverance necessary to follow up and hound such an undertaking to its + completion. He has converted several obstinate Congresses to a deserved + friendliness toward his important work, and has gone up and down and to + and fro in Europe until he has enlisted a great moneyed interest in it + there. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch53" id="linkch53"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Every now and then, in these days, the boys used to tell me I ought to get + one Jim Blaine to tell me the stirring story of his grandfather's old ram—but + they always added that I must not mention the matter unless Jim was drunk + at the time—just comfortably and sociably drunk. They kept this up + until my curiosity was on the rack to hear the story. I got to haunting + Blaine; but it was of no use, the boys always found fault with his + condition; he was often moderately but never satisfactorily drunk. I never + watched a man's condition with such absorbing interest, such anxious + solicitude; I never so pined to see a man uncompromisingly drunk before. + At last, one evening I hurried to his cabin, for I learned that this time + his situation was such that even the most fastidious could find no fault + with it—he was tranquilly, serenely, symmetrically drunk—not a + hiccup to mar his voice, not a cloud upon his brain thick enough to + obscure his memory. As I entered, he was sitting upon an empty powder- + keg, with a clay pipe in one hand and the other raised to command silence. + His face was round, red, and very serious; his throat was bare and his + hair tumbled; in general appearance and costume he was a stalwart miner of + the period. On the pine table stood a candle, and its dim light revealed + "the boys" sitting here and there on bunks, candle-boxes, powder-kegs, + etc. They said: + </p> + <p> + "Sh—! Don't speak—he's going to commence." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link384" id="link384"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="384.jpg (53K)" src="images/384.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + THE STORY OF THE OLD RAM. + </h3> + <p> + I found a seat at once, and Blaine said: + </p> + <p> + 'I don't reckon them times will ever come again. There never was a more + bullier old ram than what he was. Grandfather fetched him from Illinois—got + him of a man by the name of Yates—Bill Yates—maybe you might + have heard of him; his father was a deacon—Baptist—and he was + a rustler, too; a man had to get up ruther early to get the start of old + Thankful Yates; it was him that put the Greens up to jining teams with my + grandfather when he moved west. + </p> + <p> + 'Seth Green was prob'ly the pick of the flock; he married a Wilkerson—Sarah + Wilkerson—good cretur, she was—one of the likeliest heifers + that was ever raised in old Stoddard, everybody said that knowed her. She + could heft a bar'l of flour as easy as I can flirt a flapjack. And spin? + Don't mention it! Independent? Humph! When Sile Hawkins come a browsing + around her, she let him know that for all his tin he couldn't trot in + harness alongside of her. You see, Sile Hawkins was—no, it warn't + Sile Hawkins, after all—it was a galoot by the name of Filkins—I + disremember his first name; but he was a stump—come into pra'r + meeting drunk, one night, hooraying for Nixon, becuz he thought it was a + primary; and old deacon Ferguson up and scooted him through the window and + he lit on old Miss Jefferson's head, poor old filly. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link385" id="link385"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="385.jpg (52K)" src="images/385.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + She was a good soul—had a glass eye and used to lend it to old Miss + Wagner, that hadn't any, to receive company in; it warn't big enough, and + when Miss Wagner warn't noticing, it would get twisted around in the + socket, and look up, maybe, or out to one side, and every which way, while + t' other one was looking as straight ahead as a spy-glass. + </p> + <p> + 'Grown people didn't mind it, but it most always made the children cry, it + was so sort of scary. She tried packing it in raw cotton, but it wouldn't + work, somehow—the cotton would get loose and stick out and look so + kind of awful that the children couldn't stand it no way. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link386" id="link386"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="386.jpg (26K)" src="images/386.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + She was always dropping it out, and turning up her old dead-light on the + company empty, and making them oncomfortable, becuz she never could tell + when it hopped out, being blind on that side, you see. So somebody would + have to hunch her and say, "Your game eye has fetched loose. Miss Wagner + dear"—and then all of them would have to sit and wait till she + jammed it in again—wrong side before, as a general thing, and green + as a bird's egg, being a bashful cretur and easy sot back before company. + But being wrong side before warn't much difference, anyway; becuz her own + eye was sky- blue and the glass one was yaller on the front side, so + whichever way she turned it it didn't match nohow. + </p> + <p> + 'Old Miss Wagner was considerable on the borrow, she was. When she had a + quilting, or Dorcas S'iety at her house she gen'ally borrowed Miss + Higgins's wooden leg to stump around on; it was considerable shorter than + her other pin, but much she minded that. She said she couldn't abide + crutches when she had company, becuz they were so slow; said when she had + company and things had to be done, she wanted to get up and hump herself. + She was as bald as a jug, and so she used to borrow Miss Jacops's wig—Miss + Jacops was the coffin-peddler's wife—a ratty old buzzard, he was, + that used to go roosting around where people was sick, waiting for 'em; + and there that old rip would sit all day, in the shade, on a coffin that + he judged would fit the can'idate; and if it was a slow customer and kind + of uncertain, he'd fetch his rations and a blanket along and sleep in the + coffin nights. He was anchored out that way, in frosty weather, for about + three weeks, once, before old Robbins's place, waiting for him; and after + that, for as much as two years, Jacops was not on speaking terms with the + old man, on account of his disapp'inting him. He got one of his feet + froze, and lost money, too, becuz old Robbins took a favorable turn and + got well. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link387" id="link387"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="387.jpg (61K)" src="images/387.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The next time Robbins got sick, Jacops tried to make up with him, and + varnished up the same old coffin and fetched it along; but old Robbins was + too many for him; he had him in, and 'peared to be powerful weak; he + bought the coffin for ten dollars and Jacops was to pay it back and + twenty-five more besides if Robbins didn't like the coffin after he'd + tried it. And then Robbins died, and at the funeral he bursted off the lid + and riz up in his shroud and told the parson to let up on the + performances, becuz he could not stand such a coffin as that. You see he + had been in a trance once before, when he was young, and he took the + chances on another, cal'lating that if he made the trip it was money in + his pocket, and if he missed fire he couldn't lose a cent. And by George + he sued Jacops for the rhino and got jedgment; and he set up the coffin in + his back parlor and said he 'lowed to take his time, now. It was always an + aggravation to Jacops, the way that miserable old thing acted. He moved + back to Indiany pretty soon—went to Wellsville—Wellsville was + the place the Hogadorns was from. Mighty fine family. Old Maryland stock. + Old Squire Hogadorn could carry around more mixed licker, and cuss better + than most any man I ever see. His second wife was the widder Billings—she + that was Becky Martin; her dam was deacon Dunlap's first wife. Her oldest + child, Maria, married a missionary and died in grace—et up by the + savages. They et him, too, poor feller—biled him. It warn't the + custom, so they say, but they explained to friends of his'n that went down + there to bring away his things, that they'd tried missionaries every other + way and never could get any good out of 'em—and so it annoyed all + his relations to find out that that man's life was fooled away just out of + a dern'd experiment, so to speak. But mind you, there ain't anything ever + reely lost; everything that people can't understand and don't see the + reason of does good if you only hold on and give it a fair shake; + Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys. That there missionary's + substance, unbeknowns to himself, actu'ly converted every last one of them + heathens that took a chance at the barbacue. Nothing ever fetched them but + that. Don't tell me it was an accident that he was biled. There ain't no + such a thing as an accident. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link388" id="link388"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="388.jpg (43K)" src="images/388.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + 'When my uncle Lem was leaning up agin a scaffolding once, sick, or drunk, + or suthin, an Irishman with a hod full of bricks fell on him out of the + third story and broke the old man's back in two places. People said it was + an accident. Much accident there was about that. He didn't know what he + was there for, but he was there for a good object. If he hadn't been there + the Irishman would have been killed. Nobody can ever make me believe + anything different from that. Uncle Lem's dog was there. Why didn't the + Irishman fall on the dog? Becuz the dog would a seen him a coming and + stood from under. That's the reason the dog warn't appinted. A dog can't + be depended on to carry out a special providence. Mark my words it was a + put-up thing. Accidents don't happen, boys. Uncle Lem's dog—I wish + you could a seen that dog. He was a reglar shepherd—or ruther he was + part bull and part shepherd—splendid animal; belonged to parson + Hagar before Uncle Lem got him. Parson Hagar belonged to the Western + Reserve Hagars; prime family; his mother was a Watson; one of his sisters + married a Wheeler; they settled in Morgan county, and he got nipped by the + machinery in a carpet factory and went through in less than a quarter of a + minute; his widder bought the piece of carpet that had his remains wove + in, and people come a hundred mile to 'tend the funeral. There was + fourteen yards in the piece. + </p> + <p> + 'She wouldn't let them roll him up, but planted him just so—full + length. The church was middling small where they preached the funeral, and + they had to let one end of the coffin stick out of the window. They didn't + bury him—they planted one end, and let him stand up, same as a + monument. And they nailed a sign on it and put—put on—put on + it—"sacred to—the m-e-m-o-r-y—of fourteen y-a-r-d-s—of + three-ply—car—-pet—containing all that was—m-o-r-t-a-l—of—of—W-i-l-l-i-a-m—W-h-e—"' + </p> + <p> + <a name="link389" id="link389"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="389.jpg (111K)" src="images/389.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Jim Blaine had been growing gradually drowsy and drowsier—his head + nodded, once, twice, three times—dropped peacefully upon his breast, + and he fell tranquilly asleep. The tears were running down the boys' + cheeks—they were suffocating with suppressed laughter—and had + been from the start, though I had never noticed it. I perceived that I was + "sold." I learned then that Jim Blaine's peculiarity was that whenever he + reached a certain stage of intoxication, no human power could keep him + from setting out, with impressive unction, to tell about a wonderful + adventure which he had once had with his grandfather's old ram—and + the mention of the ram in the first sentence was as far as any man had + ever heard him get, concerning it. He always maundered off, interminably, + from one thing to another, till his whisky got the best of him and he fell + asleep. What the thing was that happened to him and his grandfather's old + ram is a dark mystery to this day, for nobody has ever yet found out. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link390" id="link390"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="390.jpg (64K)" src="images/390.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch54" id="linkch54"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Of course there was a large Chinese population in Virginia—it is the + case with every town and city on the Pacific coast. They are a harmless + race when white men either let them alone or treat them no worse than + dogs; in fact they are almost entirely harmless anyhow, for they seldom + think of resenting the vilest insults or the cruelest injuries. They are + quiet, peaceable, tractable, free from drunkenness, and they are as + industrious as the day is long. A disorderly Chinaman is rare, and a lazy + one does not exist. So long as a Chinaman has strength to use his hands he + needs no support from anybody; white men often complain of want of work, + but a Chinaman offers no such complaint; he always manages to find + something to do. He is a great convenience to everybody—even to the + worst class of white men, for he bears the most of their sins, suffering + fines for their petty thefts, imprisonment for their robberies, and death + for their murders. Any white man can swear a Chinaman's life away in the + courts, but no Chinaman can testify against a white man. Ours is the "land + of the free"—nobody denies that—nobody challenges it. [Maybe + it is because we won't let other people testify.] As I write, news comes + that in broad daylight in San Francisco, some boys have stoned an + inoffensive Chinaman to death, and that although a large crowd witnessed + the shameful deed, no one interfered. + </p> + <p> + There are seventy thousand (and possibly one hundred thousand) Chinamen on + the Pacific coast. There were about a thousand in Virginia. They were + penned into a "Chinese quarter"—a thing which they do not + particularly object to, as they are fond of herding together. Their + buildings were of wood; usually only one story high, and set thickly + together along streets scarcely wide enough for a wagon to pass through. + Their quarter was a little removed from the rest of the town. The chief + employment of Chinamen in towns is to wash clothing. They always send a + bill, like this below, pinned to the clothes. It is mere ceremony, for it + does not enlighten the customer much. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link392" id="link392"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="392.jpg (12K)" src="images/392.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Their price for washing was $2.50 per dozen—rather cheaper than + white people could afford to wash for at that time. A very common sign on + the Chinese houses was: "See Yup, Washer and Ironer"; "Hong Wo, Washer"; + "Sam Sing & Ah Hop, Washing." The house servants, cooks, etc., in + California and Nevada, were chiefly Chinamen. There were few white + servants and no Chinawomen so employed. Chinamen make good house servants, + being quick, obedient, patient, quick to learn and tirelessly industrious. + They do not need to be taught a thing twice, as a general thing. They are + imitative. If a Chinaman were to see his master break up a centre table, + in a passion, and kindle a fire with it, that Chinaman would be likely to + resort to the furniture for fuel forever afterward. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link393" id="link393"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="393.jpg (42K)" src="images/393.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + All Chinamen can read, write and cipher with easy facility—pity but + all our petted voters could. In California they rent little patches of + ground and do a deal of gardening. They will raise surprising crops of + vegetables on a sand pile. They waste nothing. What is rubbish to a + Christian, a Chinaman carefully preserves and makes useful in one way or + another. He gathers up all the old oyster and sardine cans that white + people throw away, and procures marketable tin and solder from them by + melting. He gathers up old bones and turns them into manure. In California + he gets a living out of old mining claims that white men have abandoned as + exhausted and worthless—and then the officers come down on him once + a month with an exorbitant swindle to which the legislature has given the + broad, general name of "foreign" mining tax, but it is usually inflicted + on no foreigners but Chinamen. This swindle has in some cases been + repeated once or twice on the same victim in the course of the same month—but + the public treasury was no additionally enriched by it, probably. + </p> + <p> + Chinamen hold their dead in great reverence—they worship their + departed ancestors, in fact. Hence, in China, a man's front yard, back + yard, or any other part of his premises, is made his family burying + ground, in order that he may visit the graves at any and all times. + Therefore that huge empire is one mighty cemetery; it is ridged and + wringled from its centre to its circumference with graves—and + inasmuch as every foot of ground must be made to do its utmost, in China, + lest the swarming population suffer for food, the very graves are + cultivated and yield a harvest, custom holding this to be no dishonor to + the dead. Since the departed are held in such worshipful reverence, a + Chinaman cannot bear that any indignity be offered the places where they + sleep. Mr. Burlingame said that herein lay China's bitter opposition to + railroads; a road could not be built anywhere in the empire without + disturbing the graves of their ancestors or friends. + </p> + <p> + A Chinaman hardly believes he could enjoy the hereafter except his body + lay in his beloved China; also, he desires to receive, himself, after + death, that worship with which he has honored his dead that preceded him. + Therefore, if he visits a foreign country, he makes arrangements to have + his bones returned to China in case he dies; if he hires to go to a + foreign country on a labor contract, there is always a stipulation that + his body shall be taken back to China if he dies; if the government sells + a gang of Coolies to a foreigner for the usual five-year term, it is + specified in the contract that their bodies shall be restored to China in + case of death. On the Pacific coast the Chinamen all belong to one or + another of several great companies or organizations, and these companies + keep track of their members, register their names, and ship their bodies + home when they die. The See Yup Company is held to be the largest of + these. The Ning Yeong Company is next, and numbers eighteen thousand + members on the coast. Its headquarters are at San Francisco, where it has + a costly temple, several great officers (one of whom keeps regal state in + seclusion and cannot be approached by common humanity), and a numerous + priesthood. In it I was shown a register of its members, with the dead and + the date of their shipment to China duly marked. Every ship that sails + from San Francisco carries away a heavy freight of Chinese corpses—or + did, at least, until the legislature, with an ingenious refinement of + Christian cruelty, forbade the shipments, as a neat underhanded way of + deterring Chinese immigration. The bill was offered, whether it passed or + not. It is my impression that it passed. There was another bill—it + became a law—compelling every incoming Chinaman to be vaccinated on + the wharf and pay a duly appointed quack (no decent doctor would defile + himself with such legalized robbery) ten dollars for it. As few importers + of Chinese would want to go to an expense like that, the law-makers + thought this would be another heavy blow to Chinese immigration. + </p> + <p> + What the Chinese quarter of Virginia was like—or, indeed, what the + Chinese quarter of any Pacific coast town was and is like—may be + gathered from this item which I printed in the Enterprise while reporting + for that paper: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + CHINATOWN.—Accompanied by a fellow reporter, we made a trip + through our Chinese quarter the other night. The Chinese have built + their portion of the city to suit themselves; and as they keep neither + carriages nor wagons, their streets are not wide enough, as a general + thing, to admit of the passage of vehicles. At ten o'clock at night the + Chinaman may be seen in all his glory. In every little cooped-up, dingy + cavern of a hut, faint with the odor of burning Josh-lights and with + nothing to see the gloom by save the sickly, guttering tallow candle, + were two or three yellow, long-tailed vagabonds, coiled up on a sort of + short truckle-bed, smoking opium, motionless and with their lustreless + eyes turned inward from excess of satisfaction—or rather the + recent smoker looks thus, immediately after having passed the pipe to + his neighbor—for opium-smoking is a comfortless operation, and + requires constant attention. A lamp sits on the bed, the length of the + long pipe-stem from the smoker's mouth; he puts a pellet of opium on the + end of a wire, sets it on fire, and plasters it into the pipe much as a + Christian would fill a hole with putty; then he applies the bowl to the + lamp and proceeds to smoke—and the stewing and frying of the drug + and the gurgling of the juices in the stem would well-nigh turn the + stomach of a statue. John likes it, though; it soothes him, he takes + about two dozen whiffs, and then rolls over to dream, Heaven only knows + what, for we could not imagine by looking at the soggy creature. + Possibly in his visions he travels far away from the gross world and his + regular washing, and feast on succulent rats and birds'-nests in + Paradise. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Ah Sing keeps a general grocery and provision store at No. 13 Wang + street. He lavished his hospitality upon our party in the friendliest + way. He had various kinds of colored and colorless wines and brandies, + with unpronouncable names, imported from China in little crockery jugs, + and which he offered to us in dainty little miniature wash-basins of + porcelain. He offered us a mess of birds'-nests; also, small, neat + sausages, of which we could have swallowed several yards if we had + chosen to try, but we suspected that each link contained the corpse of a + mouse, and therefore refrained. Mr. Sing had in his store a thousand + articles of merchandise, curious to behold, impossible to imagine the + uses of, and beyond our ability to describe. + </p> + <p> + His ducks, however, and his eggs, we could understand; the former were + split open and flattened out like codfish, and came from China in that + shape, and the latter were plastered over with some kind of paste which + kept them fresh and palatable through the long voyage. + </p> + <p> + We found Mr. Hong Wo, No. 37 Chow-chow street, making up a lottery + scheme—in fact we found a dozen others occupied in the same way in + various parts of the quarter, for about every third Chinaman runs a + lottery, and the balance of the tribe "buck" at it. "Tom," who speaks + faultless English, and used to be chief and only cook to the Territorial + Enterprise, when the establishment kept bachelor's hall two years ago, + said that "Sometime Chinaman buy ticket one dollar hap, ketch um two + tree hundred, sometime no ketch um anything; lottery like one man fight + um seventy—may-be he whip, may-be he get whip heself, welly good." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link396" id="link396"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="396.jpg (69K)" src="images/396.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + However, the percentage being sixty-nine against him, the chances are, + as a general thing, that "he get whip heself." We could not see that + these lotteries differed in any respect from our own, save that the + figures being Chinese, no ignorant white man might ever hope to succeed + in telling "t'other from which;" the manner of drawing is similar to + ours. + </p> + <p> + Mr. See Yup keeps a fancy store on Live Fox street. He sold us fans of + white feathers, gorgeously ornamented; perfumery that smelled like + Limburger cheese, Chinese pens, and watch-charms made of a stone + unscratchable with steel instruments, yet polished and tinted like the + inner coat of a sea-shell. As tokens of his esteem, See Yup presented + the party with gaudy plumes made of gold tinsel and trimmed with + peacocks' feathers. + </p> + <p> + We ate chow-chow with chop-sticks in the celestial restaurants; our + comrade chided the moon-eyed damsels in front of the houses for their + want of feminine reserve; we received protecting Josh-lights from our + hosts and "dickered" for a pagan God or two. Finally, we were impressed + with the genius of a Chinese book-keeper; he figured up his accounts on + a machine like a gridiron with buttons strung on its bars; the different + rows represented units, tens, hundreds and thousands. He fingered them + with incredible rapidity—in fact, he pushed them from place to + place as fast as a musical professor's fingers travel over the keys of a + piano. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + They are a kindly disposed, well-meaning race, and are respected and well + treated by the upper classes, all over the Pacific coast. No Californian + gentleman or lady ever abuses or oppresses a Chinaman, under any + circumstances, an explanation that seems to be much needed in the East. + Only the scum of the population do it—they and their children; they, + and, naturally and consistently, the policemen and politicians, likewise, + for these are the dust-licking pimps and slaves of the scum, there as well + as elsewhere in America. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link397" id="link397"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="397.jpg (76K)" src="images/397.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch55" id="linkch55"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I began to get tired of staying in one place so long. + </p> + <p> + There was no longer satisfying variety in going down to Carson to report + the proceedings of the legislature once a year, and horse-races and + pumpkin-shows once in three months; (they had got to raising pumpkins and + potatoes in Washoe Valley, and of course one of the first achievements of + the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar Agricultural Fair + to show off forty dollars' worth of those pumpkins in—however, the + territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the "asylum"). I wanted + to see San Francisco. I wanted to go somewhere. I wanted—I did not + know what I wanted. I had the "spring fever" and wanted a change, + principally, no doubt. Besides, a convention had framed a State + Constitution; nine men out of every ten wanted an office; I believed that + these gentlemen would "treat" the moneyless and the irresponsible among + the population into adopting the constitution and thus well-nigh killing + the country (it could not well carry such a load as a State government, + since it had nothing to tax that could stand a tax, for undeveloped mines + could not, and there were not fifty developed ones in the land, there was + but little realty to tax, and it did seem as if nobody was ever going to + think of the simple salvation of inflicting a money penalty on murder). I + believed that a State government would destroy the "flush times," and I + wanted to get away. I believed that the mining stocks I had on hand would + soon be worth $100,000, and thought if they reached that before the + Constitution was adopted, I would sell out and make myself secure from the + crash the change of government was going to bring. I considered $100,000 + sufficient to go home with decently, though it was but a small amount + compared to what I had been expecting to return with. I felt rather + down-hearted about it, but I tried to comfort myself with the reflection + that with such a sum I could not fall into want. About this time a + schoolmate of mine whom I had not seen since boyhood, came tramping in on + foot from Reese River, a very allegory of Poverty. The son of wealthy + parents, here he was, in a strange land, hungry, bootless, mantled in an + ancient horse-blanket, roofed with a brimless hat, and so generally and so + extravagantly dilapidated that he could have "taken the shine out of the + Prodigal Son himself," as he pleasantly remarked. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link399" id="link399"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="399.jpg (43K)" src="images/399.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He wanted to borrow forty-six dollars—twenty-six to take him to San + Francisco, and twenty for something else; to buy some soap with, maybe, + for he needed it. I found I had but little more than the amount wanted, in + my pocket; so I stepped in and borrowed forty-six dollars of a banker (on + twenty days' time, without the formality of a note), and gave it him, + rather than walk half a block to the office, where I had some specie laid + up. If anybody had told me that it would take me two years to pay back + that forty-six dollars to the banker (for I did not expect it of the + Prodigal, and was not disappointed), I would have felt injured. And so + would the banker. + </p> + <p> + I wanted a change. I wanted variety of some kind. It came. Mr. Goodman + went away for a week and left me the post of chief editor. It destroyed + me. The first day, I wrote my "leader" in the forenoon. The second day, I + had no subject and put it off till the afternoon. The third day I put it + off till evening, and then copied an elaborate editorial out of the + "American Cyclopedia," that steadfast friend of the editor, all over this + land. The fourth day I "fooled around" till midnight, and then fell back + on the Cyclopedia again. The fifth day I cudgeled my brain till midnight, + and then kept the press waiting while I penned some bitter personalities + on six different people. The sixth day I labored in anguish till far into + the night and brought forth—nothing. The paper went to press without + an editorial. The seventh day I resigned. On the eighth, Mr. Goodman + returned and found six duels on his hands—my personalities had borne + fruit. + </p> + <p> + Nobody, except he has tried it, knows what it is to be an editor. It is + easy to scribble local rubbish, with the facts all before you; it is easy + to clip selections from other papers; it is easy to string out a + correspondence from any locality; but it is unspeakable hardship to write + editorials. Subjects are the trouble—the dreary lack of them, I + mean. Every day, it is drag, drag, drag—think, and worry and suffer—all + the world is a dull blank, and yet the editorial columns must be filled. + Only give the editor a subject, and his work is done—it is no + trouble to write it up; but fancy how you would feel if you had to pump + your brains dry every day in the week, fifty-two weeks in the year. It + makes one low spirited simply to think of it. The matter that each editor + of a daily paper in America writes in the course of a year would fill from + four to eight bulky volumes like this book! Fancy what a library an + editor's work would make, after twenty or thirty years' service. Yet + people often marvel that Dickens, Scott, Bulwer, Dumas, etc., have been + able to produce so many books. If these authors had wrought as + voluminously as newspaper editors do, the result would be something to + marvel at, indeed. How editors can continue this tremendous labor, this + exhausting consumption of brain fibre (for their work is creative, and not + a mere mechanical laying-up of facts, like reporting), day after day and + year after year, is incomprehensible. Preachers take two months' holiday + in midsummer, for they find that to produce two sermons a week is wearing, + in the long run. In truth it must be so, and is so; and therefore, how an + editor can take from ten to twenty texts and build upon them from ten to + twenty painstaking editorials a week and keep it up all the year round, is + farther beyond comprehension than ever. Ever since I survived my week as + editor, I have found at least one pleasure in any newspaper that comes to + my hand; it is in admiring the long columns of editorial, and wondering to + myself how in the mischief he did it! + </p> + <p> + Mr. Goodman's return relieved me of employment, unless I chose to become a + reporter again. I could not do that; I could not serve in the ranks after + being General of the army. So I thought I would depart and go abroad into + the world somewhere. Just at this juncture, Dan, my associate in the + reportorial department, told me, casually, that two citizens had been + trying to persuade him to go with them to New York and aid in selling a + rich silver mine which they had discovered and secured in a new mining + district in our neighborhood. He said they offered to pay his expenses and + give him one third of the proceeds of the sale. He had refused to go. It + was the very opportunity I wanted. I abused him for keeping so quiet about + it, and not mentioning it sooner. He said it had not occurred to him that + I would like to go, and so he had recommended them to apply to Marshall, + the reporter of the other paper. I asked Dan if it was a good, honest + mine, and no swindle. He said the men had shown him nine tons of the rock, + which they had got out to take to New York, and he could cheerfully say + that he had seen but little rock in Nevada that was richer; and moreover, + he said that they had secured a tract of valuable timber and a mill-site, + near the mine. My first idea was to kill Dan. But I changed my mind, + notwithstanding I was so angry, for I thought maybe the chance was not yet + lost. Dan said it was by no means lost; that the men were absent at the + mine again, and would not be in Virginia to leave for the East for some + ten days; that they had requested him to do the talking to Marshall, and + he had promised that he would either secure Marshall or somebody else for + them by the time they got back; he would now say nothing to anybody till + they returned, and then fulfil his promise by furnishing me to them. + </p> + <p> + It was splendid. I went to bed all on fire with excitement; for nobody had + yet gone East to sell a Nevada silver mine, and the field was white for + the sickle. I felt that such a mine as the one described by Dan would + bring a princely sum in New York, and sell without delay or difficulty. I + could not sleep, my fancy so rioted through its castles in the air. It was + the "blind lead" come again. + </p> + <p> + Next day I got away, on the coach, with the usual eclat attending + departures of old citizens,—for if you have only half a dozen + friends out there they will make noise for a hundred rather than let you + seem to go away neglected and unregretted—and Dan promised to keep + strict watch for the men that had the mine to sell. + </p> + <p> + The trip was signalized but by one little incident, and that occurred just + as we were about to start. A very seedy looking vagabond passenger got out + of the stage a moment to wait till the usual ballast of silver bricks was + thrown in. He was standing on the pavement, when an awkward express + employee, carrying a brick weighing a hundred pounds, stumbled and let it + fall on the bummer's foot. He instantly dropped on the ground and began to + howl in the most heart-breaking way. A sympathizing crowd gathered around + and were going to pull his boot off; but he screamed louder than ever and + they desisted; then he fell to gasping, and between the gasps ejaculated + "Brandy! for Heaven's sake, brandy!" They poured half a pint down him, and + it wonderfully restored and comforted him. Then he begged the people to + assist him to the stage, which was done. The express people urged him to + have a doctor at their expense, but he declined, and said that if he only + had a little brandy to take along with him, to soothe his paroxyms of pain + when they came on, he would be grateful and content. He was quickly + supplied with two bottles, and we drove off. He was so smiling and happy + after that, that I could not refrain from asking him how he could possibly + be so comfortable with a crushed foot. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link403" id="link403"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="403.jpg (72K)" src="images/403.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Well," said he, "I hadn't had a drink for twelve hours, and hadn't a cent + to my name. I was most perishing—and so, when that duffer dropped + that hundred-pounder on my foot, I see my chance. Got a cork leg, you + know!" and he pulled up his pantaloons and proved it. + </p> + <p> + He was as drunk as a lord all day long, and full of chucklings over his + timely ingenuity. + </p> + <p> + One drunken man necessarily reminds one of another. I once heard a + gentleman tell about an incident which he witnessed in a Californian bar- + room. He entitled it "Ye Modest Man Taketh a Drink." It was nothing but a + bit of acting, but it seemed to me a perfect rendering, and worthy of + Toodles himself. The modest man, tolerably far gone with beer and other + matters, enters a saloon (twenty-five cents is the price for anything and + everything, and specie the only money used) and lays down a half dollar; + calls for whiskey and drinks it; the bar-keeper makes change and lays the + quarter in a wet place on the counter; the modest man fumbles at it with + nerveless fingers, but it slips and the water holds it; he contemplates + it, and tries again; same result; observes that people are interested in + what he is at, blushes; fumbles at the quarter again—blushes—puts + his forefinger carefully, slowly down, to make sure of his aim—pushes + the coin toward the bar-keeper, and says with a sigh: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link404" id="link404"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="404.jpg (120K)" src="images/404.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Gimme a cigar!" + </p> + <p> + Naturally, another gentleman present told about another drunken man. He + said he reeled toward home late at night; made a mistake and entered the + wrong gate; thought he saw a dog on the stoop; and it was—an iron + one. + </p> + <p> + He stopped and considered; wondered if it was a dangerous dog; ventured to + say "Be (hic) begone!" No effect. Then he approached warily, and adopted + conciliation; pursed up his lips and tried to whistle, but failed; still + approached, saying, "Poor dog!—doggy, doggy, doggy!—poor + doggy-dog!" Got up on the stoop, still petting with fond names; till + master of the advantages; then exclaimed, "Leave, you thief!"—planted + a vindictive kick in his ribs, and went head-over-heels overboard, of + course. A pause; a sigh or two of pain, and then a remark in a reflective + voice: + </p> + <p> + "Awful solid dog. What could he ben eating? ('ic!) Rocks, p'raps. Such + animals is dangerous.—' At's what I say—they're dangerous. If + a man—('ic!)—if a man wants to feed a dog on rocks, let him + feed him on rocks; 'at's all right; but let him keep him at home—not + have him layin' round promiscuous, where ('ic!) where people's liable to + stumble over him when they ain't noticin'!" + </p> + <p> + It was not without regret that I took a last look at the tiny flag (it was + thirty-five feet long and ten feet wide) fluttering like a lady's + handkerchief from the topmost peak of Mount Davidson, two thousand feet + above Virginia's roofs, and felt that doubtless I was bidding a permanent + farewell to a city which had afforded me the most vigorous enjoyment of + life I had ever experienced. And this reminds me of an incident which the + dullest memory Virginia could boast at the time it happened must vividly + recall, at times, till its possessor dies. Late one summer afternoon we + had a rain shower. + </p> + <p> + That was astonishing enough, in itself, to set the whole town buzzing, for + it only rains (during a week or two weeks) in the winter in Nevada, and + even then not enough at a time to make it worth while for any merchant to + keep umbrellas for sale. But the rain was not the chief wonder. It only + lasted five or ten minutes; while the people were still talking about it + all the heavens gathered to themselves a dense blackness as of midnight. + All the vast eastern front of Mount Davidson, over- looking the city, put + on such a funereal gloom that only the nearness and solidity of the + mountain made its outlines even faintly distinguishable from the dead + blackness of the heavens they rested against. This unaccustomed sight + turned all eyes toward the mountain; and as they looked, a little tongue + of rich golden flame was seen waving and quivering in the heart of the + midnight, away up on the extreme summit! In a few minutes the streets were + packed with people, gazing with hardly an uttered word, at the one + brilliant mote in the brooding world of darkness. It flicked like a + candle-flame, and looked no larger; but with such a background it was + wonderfully bright, small as it was. It was the flag!—though no one + suspected it at first, it seemed so like a supernatural visitor of some + kind—a mysterious messenger of good tidings, some were fain to + believe. It was the nation's emblem transfigured by the departing rays of + a sun that was entirely palled from view; and on no other object did the + glory fall, in all the broad panorama of mountain ranges and deserts. Not + even upon the staff of the flag—for that, a needle in the distance + at any time, was now untouched by the light and undistinguishable in the + gloom. For a whole hour the weird visitor winked and burned in its lofty + solitude, and still the thousands of uplifted eyes watched it with + fascinated interest. How the people were wrought up! The superstition grew + apace that this was a mystic courier come with great news from the war—the + poetry of the idea excusing and commending it—and on it spread, from + heart to heart, from lip to lip and from street to street, till there was + a general impulse to have out the military and welcome the bright waif + with a salvo of artillery! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link406" id="link406"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="406.jpg (72K)" src="images/406.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And all that time one sorely tried man, the telegraph operator sworn to + official secrecy, had to lock his lips and chain his tongue with a silence + that was like to rend them; for he, and he only, of all the speculating + multitude, knew the great things this sinking sun had seen that day in the + east—Vicksburg fallen, and the Union arms victorious at Gettysburg! + </p> + <p> + But for the journalistic monopoly that forbade the slightest revealment of + eastern news till a day after its publication in the California papers, + the glorified flag on Mount Davidson would have been saluted and + re-saluted, that memorable evening, as long as there was a charge of + powder to thunder with; the city would have been illuminated, and every + man that had any respect for himself would have got drunk,—as was + the custom of the country on all occasions of public moment. Even at this + distant day I cannot think of this needlessly marred supreme opportunity + without regret. What a time we might have had! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link407" id="link407"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="407.jpg (12K)" src="images/407.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch56" id="linkch56"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We rumbled over the plains and valleys, climbed the Sierras to the clouds, + and looked down upon summer-clad California. And I will remark here, in + passing, that all scenery in California requires distance to give it its + highest charm. The mountains are imposing in their sublimity and their + majesty of form and altitude, from any point of view—but one must + have distance to soften their ruggedness and enrich their tintings; a + Californian forest is best at a little distance, for there is a sad + poverty of variety in species, the trees being chiefly of one monotonous + family—redwood, pine, spruce, fir—and so, at a near view there + is a wearisome sameness of attitude in their rigid arms, stretched down + ward and outward in one continued and reiterated appeal to all men to "Sh!—don't + say a word!—you might disturb somebody!" Close at hand, too, there + is a reliefless and relentless smell of pitch and turpentine; there is a + ceaseless melancholy in their sighing and complaining foliage; one walks + over a soundless carpet of beaten yellow bark and dead spines of the + foliage till he feels like a wandering spirit bereft of a footfall; he + tires of the endless tufts of needles and yearns for substantial, shapely + leaves; he looks for moss and grass to loll upon, and finds none, for + where there is no bark there is naked clay and dirt, enemies to pensive + musing and clean apparel. Often a grassy plain in California, is what it + should be, but often, too, it is best contemplated at a distance, because + although its grass blades are tall, they stand up vindictively straight + and self-sufficient, and are unsociably wide apart, with uncomely spots of + barren sand between. + </p> + <p> + One of the queerest things I know of, is to hear tourists from "the + States" go into ecstasies over the loveliness of "ever-blooming + California." And they always do go into that sort of ecstasies. But + perhaps they would modify them if they knew how old Californians, with the + memory full upon them of the dust-covered and questionable summer greens + of Californian "verdure," stand astonished, and filled with worshipping + admiration, in the presence of the lavish richness, the brilliant green, + the infinite freshness, the spend-thrift variety of form and species and + foliage that make an Eastern landscape a vision of Paradise itself. The + idea of a man falling into raptures over grave and sombre California, when + that man has seen New England's meadow-expanses and her maples, oaks and + cathedral-windowed elms decked in summer attire, or the opaline splendors + of autumn descending upon her forests, comes very near being funny—would + be, in fact, but that it is so pathetic. No land with an unvarying climate + can be very beautiful. The tropics are not, for all the sentiment that is + wasted on them. They seem beautiful at first, but sameness impairs the + charm by and by. Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her + miracles with. The land that has four well-defined seasons, cannot lack + beauty, or pall with monotony. Each season brings a world of enjoyment and + interest in the watching of its unfolding, its gradual, harmonious + development, its culminating graces—and just as one begins to tire + of it, it passes away and a radical change comes, with new witcheries and + new glories in its train. And I think that to one in sympathy with nature, + each season, in its turn, seems the loveliest. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link409" id="link409"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="409.jpg (49K)" src="images/409.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + San Francisco, a truly fascinating city to live in, is stately and + handsome at a fair distance, but close at hand one notes that the + architecture is mostly old-fashioned, many streets are made up of + decaying, smoke-grimed, wooden houses, and the barren sand-hills toward + the outskirts obtrude themselves too prominently. Even the kindly climate + is sometimes pleasanter when read about than personally experienced, for a + lovely, cloudless sky wears out its welcome by and by, and then when the + longed for rain does come it stays. Even the playful earthquake is better + contemplated at a dis— + </p> + <p> + However there are varying opinions about that. + </p> + <p> + The climate of San Francisco is mild and singularly equable. The + thermometer stands at about seventy degrees the year round. It hardly + changes at all. You sleep under one or two light blankets Summer and + Winter, and never use a mosquito bar. Nobody ever wears Summer clothing. + You wear black broadcloth—if you have it—in August and + January, just the same. It is no colder, and no warmer, in the one month + than the other. You do not use overcoats and you do not use fans. It is as + pleasant a climate as could well be contrived, take it all around, and is + doubtless the most unvarying in the whole world. The wind blows there a + good deal in the summer months, but then you can go over to Oakland, if + you choose—three or four miles away—it does not blow there. It + has only snowed twice in San Francisco in nineteen years, and then it only + remained on the ground long enough to astonish the children, and set them + to wondering what the feathery stuff was. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link410" id="link410"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="410.jpg (53K)" src="images/410.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + During eight months of the year, straight along, the skies are bright and + cloudless, and never a drop of rain falls. But when the other four months + come along, you will need to go and steal an umbrella. Because you will + require it. Not just one day, but one hundred and twenty days in hardly + varying succession. When you want to go visiting, or attend church, or the + theatre, you never look up at the clouds to see whether it is likely to + rain or not—you look at the almanac. If it is Winter, it will rain—and + if it is Summer, it won't rain, and you cannot help it. You never need a + lightning-rod, because it never thunders and it never lightens. And after + you have listened for six or eight weeks, every night, to the dismal + monotony of those quiet rains, you will wish in your heart the thunder + would leap and crash and roar along those drowsy skies once, and make + everything alive—you will wish the prisoned lightnings would cleave + the dull firmament asunder and light it with a blinding glare for one + little instant. You would give anything to hear the old familiar thunder + again and see the lightning strike somebody. And along in the Summer, when + you have suffered about four months of lustrous, pitiless sunshine, you + are ready to go down on your knees and plead for rain—hail—snow—thunder + and lightning—anything to break the monotony—you will take an + earthquake, if you cannot do any better. And the chances are that you'll + get it, too. + </p> + <p> + San Francisco is built on sand hills, but they are prolific sand hills. + They yield a generous vegetation. All the rare flowers which people in + "the States" rear with such patient care in parlor flower-pots and green- + houses, flourish luxuriantly in the open air there all the year round. + Calla lilies, all sorts of geraniums, passion flowers, moss roses—I + do not know the names of a tenth part of them. I only know that while New + Yorkers are burdened with banks and drifts of snow, Californians are + burdened with banks and drifts of flowers, if they only keep their hands + off and let them grow. And I have heard that they have also that rarest + and most curious of all the flowers, the beautiful Espiritu Santo, as the + Spaniards call it—or flower of the Holy Spirit—though I + thought it grew only in Central America—down on the Isthmus. In its + cup is the daintiest little facsimile of a dove, as pure as snow. The + Spaniards have a superstitious reverence for it. The blossom has been + conveyed to the States, submerged in ether; and the bulb has been taken + thither also, but every attempt to make it bloom after it arrived, has + failed. + </p> + <p> + I have elsewhere spoken of the endless Winter of Mono, California, and but + this moment of the eternal Spring of San Francisco. Now if we travel a + hundred miles in a straight line, we come to the eternal Summer of + Sacramento. One never sees Summer-clothing or mosquitoes in San Francisco—but + they can be found in Sacramento. Not always and unvaryingly, but about one + hundred and forty-three months out of twelve years, perhaps. Flowers bloom + there, always, the reader can easily believe—people suffer and + sweat, and swear, morning, noon and night, and wear out their stanchest + energies fanning themselves. It gets hot there, but if you go down to Fort + Yuma you will find it hotter. Fort Yuma is probably the hottest place on + earth. The thermometer stays at one hundred and twenty in the shade there + all the time—except when it varies and goes higher. It is a U.S. + military post, and its occupants get so used to the terrific heat that + they suffer without it. There is a tradition (attributed to John Phenix + [It has been purloined by fifty different scribblers who were too poor to + invent a fancy but not ashamed to steal one.—M. T.]) that a very, + very wicked soldier died there, once, and of course, went straight to the + hottest corner of perdition,—and the next day he telegraphed back + for his blankets. There is no doubt about the truth of this statement—there + can be no doubt about it. I have seen the place where that soldier used to + board. In Sacramento it is fiery Summer always, and you can gather roses, + and eat strawberries and ice-cream, and wear white linen clothes, and pant + and perspire, at eight or nine o'clock in the morning, and then take the + cars, and at noon put on your furs and your skates, and go skimming over + frozen Donner Lake, seven thousand feet above the valley, among snow banks + fifteen feet deep, and in the shadow of grand mountain peaks that lift + their frosty crags ten thousand feet above the level of the sea. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link413" id="link413"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="413.jpg (94K)" src="images/413.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + There is a transition for you! Where will you find another like it in the + Western hemisphere? And some of us have swept around snow-walled curves of + the Pacific Railroad in that vicinity, six thousand feet above the sea, + and looked down as the birds do, upon the deathless Summer of the + Sacramento Valley, with its fruitful fields, its feathery foliage, its + silver streams, all slumbering in the mellow haze of its enchanted + atmosphere, and all infinitely softened and spiritualized by distance—a + dreamy, exquisite glimpse of fairyland, made all the more charming and + striking that it was caught through a forbidden gateway of ice and snow, + and savage crags and precipices. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch57" id="linkch57"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + It was in this Sacramento Valley, just referred to, that a deal of the + most lucrative of the early gold mining was done, and you may still see, + in places, its grassy slopes and levels torn and guttered and disfigured + by the avaricious spoilers of fifteen and twenty years ago. You may see + such disfigurements far and wide over California—and in some such + places, where only meadows and forests are visible—not a living + creature, not a house, no stick or stone or remnant of a ruin, and not a + sound, not even a whisper to disturb the Sabbath stillness—you will + find it hard to believe that there stood at one time a + fiercely-flourishing little city, of two thousand or three thousand souls, + with its newspaper, fire company, brass band, volunteer militia, bank, + hotels, noisy Fourth of July processions and speeches, gambling hells + crammed with tobacco smoke, profanity, and rough-bearded men of all + nations and colors, with tables heaped with gold dust sufficient for the + revenues of a German principality—streets crowded and rife with + business—town lots worth four hundred dollars a front foot—labor, + laughter, music, dancing, swearing, fighting, shooting, stabbing—a + bloody inquest and a man for breakfast every morning—everything that + delights and adorns existence—all the appointments and appurtenances + of a thriving and prosperous and promising young city,—and now + nothing is left of it all but a lifeless, homeless solitude. The men are + gone, the houses have vanished, even the name of the place is forgotten. + In no other land, in modern times, have towns so absolutely died and + disappeared, as in the old mining regions of California. + </p> + <p> + It was a driving, vigorous, restless population in those days. It was a + curious population. It was the only population of the kind that the world + has ever seen gathered together, and it is not likely that the world will + ever see its like again. For observe, it was an assemblage of two hundred + thousand young men—not simpering, dainty, kid-gloved weaklings, but + stalwart, muscular, dauntless young braves, brimful of push and energy, + and royally endowed with every attribute that goes to make up a peerless + and magnificent manhood—the very pick and choice of the world's + glorious ones. No women, no children, no gray and stooping veterans,—none + but erect, bright-eyed, quick-moving, strong-handed young giants—the + strangest population, the finest population, the most gallant host that + ever trooped down the startled solitudes of an unpeopled land. And where + are they now? Scattered to the ends of the earth—or prematurely aged + and decrepit—or shot or stabbed in street affrays—or dead of + disappointed hopes and broken hearts—all gone, or nearly all—victims + devoted upon the altar of the golden calf—the noblest holocaust that + ever wafted its sacrificial incense heavenward. It is pitiful to think + upon. + </p> + <p> + It was a splendid population—for all the slow, sleepy, + sluggish-brained sloths staid at home—you never find that sort of + people among pioneers—you cannot build pioneers out of that sort of + material. It was that population that gave to California a name for + getting up astounding enterprises and rushing them through with a + magnificent dash and daring and a recklessness of cost or consequences, + which she bears unto this day—and when she projects a new surprise, + the grave world smiles as usual, and says "Well, that is California all + over." + </p> + <p> + But they were rough in those times! They fairly reveled in gold, whisky, + fights, and fandangoes, and were unspeakably happy. The honest miner raked + from a hundred to a thousand dollars out of his claim a day, and what with + the gambling dens and the other entertainments, he hadn't a cent the next + morning, if he had any sort of luck. They cooked their own bacon and + beans, sewed on their own buttons, washed their own shirts—blue + woollen ones; and if a man wanted a fight on his hands without any + annoying delay, all he had to do was to appear in public in a white shirt + or a stove-pipe hat, and he would be accommodated. For those people hated + aristocrats. They had a particular and malignant animosity toward what + they called a "biled shirt." + </p> + <p> + It was a wild, free, disorderly, grotesque society! Men—only + swarming hosts of stalwart men—nothing juvenile, nothing feminine, + visible anywhere! + </p> + <p> + In those days miners would flock in crowds to catch a glimpse of that rare + and blessed spectacle, a woman! Old inhabitants tell how, in a certain + camp, the news went abroad early in the morning that a woman was come! + They had seen a calico dress hanging out of a wagon down at the + camping-ground—sign of emigrants from over the great plains. + Everybody went down there, and a shout went up when an actual, bona fide + dress was discovered fluttering in the wind! The male emigrant was + visible. The miners said: + </p> + <p> + "Fetch her out!" + </p> + <p> + He said: "It is my wife, gentlemen—she is sick—we have been + robbed of money, provisions, everything, by the Indians—we want to + rest." + </p> + <p> + "Fetch her out! We've got to see her!" + </p> + <p> + "But, gentlemen, the poor thing, she—" + </p> + <p> + "FETCH HER OUT!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link416" id="link416"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="416.jpg (87K)" src="images/416.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He "fetched her out," and they swung their hats and sent up three rousing + cheers and a tiger; and they crowded around and gazed at her, and touched + her dress, and listened to her voice with the look of men who listened to + a memory rather than a present reality—and then they collected + twenty- five hundred dollars in gold and gave it to the man, and swung + their hats again and gave three more cheers, and went home satisfied. + </p> + <p> + Once I dined in San Francisco with the family of a pioneer, and talked + with his daughter, a young lady whose first experience in San Francisco + was an adventure, though she herself did not remember it, as she was only + two or three years old at the time. Her father said that, after landing + from the ship, they were walking up the street, a servant leading the + party with the little girl in her arms. And presently a huge miner, + bearded, belted, spurred, and bristling with deadly weapons—just + down from a long campaign in the mountains, evidently-barred the way, + stopped the servant, and stood gazing, with a face all alive with + gratification and astonishment. Then he said, reverently: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link417" id="link417"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="417.jpg (58K)" src="images/417.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Well, if it ain't a child!" And then he snatched a little leather sack + out of his pocket and said to the servant: + </p> + <p> + "There's a hundred and fifty dollars in dust, there, and I'll give it to + you to let me kiss the child!" + </p> + <p> + That anecdote is true. + </p> + <p> + But see how things change. Sitting at that dinner-table, listening to that + anecdote, if I had offered double the money for the privilege of kissing + the same child, I would have been refused. Seventeen added years have far + more than doubled the price. + </p> + <p> + And while upon this subject I will remark that once in Star City, in the + Humboldt Mountains, I took my place in a sort of long, post-office single + file of miners, to patiently await my chance to peep through a crack in + the cabin and get a sight of the splendid new sensation—a genuine, + live Woman! And at the end of half of an hour my turn came, and I put my + eye to the crack, and there she was, with one arm akimbo, and tossing + flap- jacks in a frying-pan with the other. + </p> + <p> + And she was one hundred and sixty-five [Being in calmer mood, now, I + voluntarily knock off a hundred from that.—M.T.] years old, and + hadn't a tooth in her head. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link418" id="link418"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="418.jpg (28K)" src="images/418.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch58" id="linkch58"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + For a few months I enjoyed what to me was an entirely new phase of + existence—a butterfly idleness; nothing to do, nobody to be + responsible to, and untroubled with financial uneasiness. I fell in love + with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union. After the sage-brush + and alkali deserts of Washoe, San Francisco was Paradise to me. I lived at + the best hotel, exhibited my clothes in the most conspicuous places, + infested the opera, and learned to seem enraptured with music which + oftener afflicted my ignorant ear than enchanted it, if I had had the + vulgar honesty to confess it. However, I suppose I was not greatly worse + than the most of my countrymen in that. I had longed to be a butterfly, + and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening + dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkad and + schottisched with a step peculiar to myself—and the kangaroo. In a + word, I kept the due state of a man worth a hundred thousand dollars + (prospectively,) and likely to reach absolute affluence when that silver- + mine sale should be ultimately achieved in the East. I spent money with a + free hand, and meantime watched the stock sales with an interested eye and + looked to see what might happen in Nevada. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link420" id="link420"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="420.jpg (49K)" src="images/420.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Something very important happened. The property holders of Nevada voted + against the State Constitution; but the folks who had nothing to lose were + in the majority, and carried the measure over their heads. But after all + it did not immediately look like a disaster, though unquestionably it was + one I hesitated, calculated the chances, and then concluded not to sell. + Stocks went on rising; speculation went mad; bankers, merchants, lawyers, + doctors, mechanics, laborers, even the very washerwomen and servant girls, + were putting up their earnings on silver stocks, and every sun that rose + in the morning went down on paupers enriched and rich men beggared. What a + gambling carnival it was! Gould and Curry soared to six thousand three + hundred dollars a foot! And then—all of a sudden, out went the + bottom and everything and everybody went to ruin and destruction! The + wreck was complete. + </p> + <p> + The bubble scarcely left a microscopic moisture behind it. I was an early + beggar and a thorough one. My hoarded stocks were not worth the paper they + were printed on. I threw them all away. I, the cheerful idiot that had + been squandering money like water, and thought myself beyond the reach of + misfortune, had not now as much as fifty dollars when I gathered together + my various debts and paid them. I removed from the hotel to a very private + boarding house. I took a reporter's berth and went to work. I was not + entirely broken in spirit, for I was building confidently on the sale of + the silver mine in the east. But I could not hear from Dan. My letters + miscarried or were not answered. + </p> + <p> + One day I did not feel vigorous and remained away from the office. The + next day I went down toward noon as usual, and found a note on my desk + which had been there twenty-four hours. It was signed "Marshall"—the + Virginia reporter—and contained a request that I should call at the + hotel and see him and a friend or two that night, as they would sail for + the east in the morning. A postscript added that their errand was a big + mining speculation! I was hardly ever so sick in my life. I abused myself + for leaving Virginia and entrusting to another man a matter I ought to + have attended to myself; I abused myself for remaining away from the + office on the one day of all the year that I should have been there. And + thus berating myself I trotted a mile to the steamer wharf and arrived + just in time to be too late. The ship was in the stream and under way. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link421" id="link421"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="421.jpg (20K)" src="images/421.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I comforted myself with the thought that may be the speculation would + amount to nothing—poor comfort at best—and then went back to + my slavery, resolved to put up with my thirty-five dollars a week and + forget all about it. + </p> + <p> + A month afterward I enjoyed my first earthquake. It was one which was long + called the "great" earthquake, and is doubtless so distinguished till this + day. It was just after noon, on a bright October day. I was coming down + Third street. The only objects in motion anywhere in sight in that thickly + built and populous quarter, were a man in a buggy behind me, and a street + car wending slowly up the cross street. Otherwise, all was solitude and a + Sabbath stillness. As I turned the corner, around a frame house, there was + a great rattle and jar, and it occurred to me that here was an item!—no + doubt a fight in that house. Before I could turn and seek the door, there + came a really terrific shock; the ground seemed to roll under me in waves, + interrupted by a violent joggling up and down, and there was a heavy + grinding noise as of brick houses rubbing together. I fell up against the + frame house and hurt my elbow. I knew what it was, now, and from mere + reportorial instinct, nothing else, took out my watch and noted the time + of day; at that moment a third and still severer shock came, and as I + reeled about on the pavement trying to keep my footing, I saw a sight! The + entire front of a tall four-story brick building in Third street sprung + outward like a door and fell sprawling across the street, raising a dust + like a great volume of smoke! And here came the buggy—overboard went + the man, and in less time than I can tell it the vehicle was distributed + in small fragments along three hundred yards of street. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link422" id="link422"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="422.jpg (87K)" src="images/422.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + One could have fancied that somebody had fired a charge of chair-rounds + and rags down the thoroughfare. The street car had stopped, the horses + were rearing and plunging, the passengers were pouring out at both ends, + and one fat man had crashed half way through a glass window on one side of + the car, got wedged fast and was squirming and screaming like an impaled + madman. Every door, of every house, as far as the eye could reach, was + vomiting a stream of human beings; and almost before one could execute a + wink and begin another, there was a massed multitude of people stretching + in endless procession down every street my position commanded. Never was + solemn solitude turned into teeming life quicker. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link423a" id="link423a"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="423a.jpg (38K)" src="images/423a.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Of the wonders wrought by "the great earthquake," these were all that came + under my eye; but the tricks it did, elsewhere, and far and wide over the + town, made toothsome gossip for nine days. + </p> + <p> + The destruction of property was trifling—the injury to it was wide- + spread and somewhat serious. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link423b" id="link423b"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="423b.jpg (37K)" src="images/423b.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The "curiosities" of the earthquake were simply endless. Gentlemen and + ladies who were sick, or were taking a siesta, or had dissipated till a + late hour and were making up lost sleep, thronged into the public streets + in all sorts of queer apparel, and some without any at all. One woman who + had been washing a naked child, ran down the street holding it by the + ankles as if it were a dressed turkey. Prominent citizens who were + supposed to keep the Sabbath strictly, rushed out of saloons in their + shirt-sleeves, with billiard cues in their hands. Dozens of men with necks + swathed in napkins, rushed from barber-shops, lathered to the eyes or with + one cheek clean shaved and the other still bearing a hairy stubble. Horses + broke from stables, and a frightened dog rushed up a short attic ladder + and out on to a roof, and when his scare was over had not the nerve to go + down again the same way he had gone up. + </p> + <p> + A prominent editor flew down stairs, in the principal hotel, with nothing + on but one brief undergarment—met a chambermaid, and exclaimed: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, what shall I do! Where shall I go!" + </p> + <p> + She responded with naive serenity: + </p> + <p> + "If you have no choice, you might try a clothing-store!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link424" id="link424"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="424.jpg (63K)" src="images/424.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + A certain foreign consul's lady was the acknowledged leader of fashion, + and every time she appeared in anything new or extraordinary, the ladies + in the vicinity made a raid on their husbands' purses and arrayed + themselves similarly. One man who had suffered considerably and growled + accordingly, was standing at the window when the shocks came, and the next + instant the consul's wife, just out of the bath, fled by with no other + apology for clothing than—a bath-towel! The sufferer rose superior + to the terrors of the earthquake, and said to his wife: + </p> + <p> + "Now that is something like! Get out your towel my dear!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link425" id="link425"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="425 (40K)" src="images/425.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The plastering that fell from ceilings in San Francisco that day, would + have covered several acres of ground. For some days afterward, groups of + eyeing and pointing men stood about many a building, looking at long zig- + zag cracks that extended from the eaves to the ground. Four feet of the + tops of three chimneys on one house were broken square off and turned + around in such a way as to completely stop the draft. + </p> + <p> + A crack a hundred feet long gaped open six inches wide in the middle of + one street and then shut together again with such force, as to ridge up + the meeting earth like a slender grave. A lady sitting in her rocking and + quaking parlor, saw the wall part at the ceiling, open and shut twice, + like a mouth, and then-drop the end of a brick on the floor like a tooth. + She was a woman easily disgusted with foolishness, and she arose and went + out of there. One lady who was coming down stairs was astonished to see a + bronze Hercules lean forward on its pedestal as if to strike her with its + club. They both reached the bottom of the flight at the same time,—the + woman insensible from the fright. Her child, born some little time + afterward, was club-footed. However—on second thought,—if the + reader sees any coincidence in this, he must do it at his own risk. + </p> + <p> + The first shock brought down two or three huge organ-pipes in one of the + churches. The minister, with uplifted hands, was just closing the + services. He glanced up, hesitated, and said: + </p> + <p> + "However, we will omit the benediction!"—and the next instant there + was a vacancy in the atmosphere where he had stood. + </p> + <p> + After the first shock, an Oakland minister said: + </p> + <p> + "Keep your seats! There is no better place to die than this"— + </p> + <p> + And added, after the third: + </p> + <p> + "But outside is good enough!" He then skipped out at the back door. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link426" id="link426"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="426.jpg (40K)" src="images/426.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Such another destruction of mantel ornaments and toilet bottles as the + earthquake created, San Francisco never saw before. There was hardly a + girl or a matron in the city but suffered losses of this kind. Suspended + pictures were thrown down, but oftener still, by a curious freak of the + earthquake's humor, they were whirled completely around with their faces + to the wall! There was great difference of opinion, at first, as to the + course or direction the earthquake traveled, but water that splashed out + of various tanks and buckets settled that. Thousands of people were made + so sea-sick by the rolling and pitching of floors and streets that they + were weak and bed-ridden for hours, and some few for even days afterward.—Hardly + an individual escaped nausea entirely. + </p> + <p> + The queer earthquake—episodes that formed the staple of San + Francisco gossip for the next week would fill a much larger book than + this, and so I will diverge from the subject. + </p> + <p> + By and by, in the due course of things, I picked up a copy of the + Enterprise one day, and fell under this cruel blow: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + NEVADA MINES IN NEW YORK.—G. M. Marshall, Sheba Hurs and Amos H. + Rose, who left San Francisco last July for New York City, with ores from + mines in Pine Wood District, Humboldt County, and on the Reese River + range, have disposed of a mine containing six thousand feet and called + the Pine Mountains Consolidated, for the sum of $3,000,000. The stamps + on the deed, which is now on its way to Humboldt County, from New York, + for record, amounted to $3,000, which is said to be the largest amount + of stamps ever placed on one document. A working capital of $1,000,000 + has been paid into the treasury, and machinery has already been + purchased for a large quartz mill, which will be put up as soon as + possible. The stock in this company is all full paid and entirely + unassessable. The ores of the mines in this district somewhat resemble + those of the Sheba mine in Humboldt. Sheba Hurst, the discoverer of the + mines, with his friends corralled all the best leads and all the land + and timber they desired before making public their whereabouts. Ores + from there, assayed in this city, showed them to be exceedingly rich in + silver and gold—silver predominating. There is an abundance of + wood and water in the District. We are glad to know that New York + capital has been enlisted in the development of the mines of this + region. Having seen the ores and assays, we are satisfied that the mines + of the District are very valuable—anything but wild-cat. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + Once more native imbecility had carried the day, and I had lost a million! + It was the "blind lead" over again. + </p> + <p> + Let us not dwell on this miserable matter. If I were inventing these + things, I could be wonderfully humorous over them; but they are too true + to be talked of with hearty levity, even at this distant day. [True, and + yet not exactly as given in the above figures, possibly. I saw Marshall, + months afterward, and although he had plenty of money he did not claim to + have captured an entire million. In fact I gathered that he had not then + received $50,000. Beyond that figure his fortune appeared to consist of + uncertain vast expectations rather than prodigious certainties. However, + when the above item appeared in print I put full faith in it, and + incontinently wilted and went to seed under it.] Suffice it that I so lost + heart, and so yielded myself up to repinings and sighings and foolish + regrets, that I neglected my duties and became about worthless, as a + reporter for a brisk newspaper. And at last one of the proprietors took me + aside, with a charity I still remember with considerable respect, and gave + me an opportunity to resign my berth and so save myself the disgrace of a + dismissal. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch59" id="linkch59"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + For a time I wrote literary screeds for the Golden Era. C. H. Webb had + established a very excellent literary weekly called the Californian, but + high merit was no guaranty of success; it languished, and he sold out to + three printers, and Bret Harte became editor at $20 a week, and I was + employed to contribute an article a week at $12. But the journal still + languished, and the printers sold out to Captain Ogden, a rich man and a + pleasant gentleman who chose to amuse himself with such an expensive + luxury without much caring about the cost of it. When he grew tired of the + novelty, he re-sold to the printers, the paper presently died a peaceful + death, and I was out of work again. I would not mention these things but + for the fact that they so aptly illustrate the ups and downs that + characterize life on the Pacific coast. A man could hardly stumble into + such a variety of queer vicissitudes in any other country. + </p> + <p> + For two months my sole occupation was avoiding acquaintances; for during + that time I did not earn a penny, or buy an article of any kind, or pay my + board. I became a very adept at "slinking." I slunk from back street to + back street, I slunk away from approaching faces that looked familiar, I + slunk to my meals, ate them humbly and with a mute apology for every + mouthful I robbed my generous landlady of, and at midnight, after + wanderings that were but slinkings away from cheerfulness and light, I + slunk to my bed. I felt meaner, and lowlier and more despicable than the + worms. During all this time I had but one piece of money—a silver + ten cent piece—and I held to it and would not spend it on any + account, lest the consciousness coming strong upon me that I was entirely + penniless, might suggest suicide. I had pawned every thing but the clothes + I had on; so I clung to my dime desperately, till it was smooth with + handling. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link429" id="link429"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="429.jpg (36K)" src="images/429.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + However, I am forgetting. I did have one other occupation beside that of + "slinking." It was the entertaining of a collector (and being entertained + by him,) who had in his hands the Virginia banker's bill for forty-six + dollars which I had loaned my schoolmate, the "Prodigal." This man used to + call regularly once a week and dun me, and sometimes oftener. He did it + from sheer force of habit, for he knew he could get nothing. He would get + out his bill, calculate the interest for me, at five per cent a month, and + show me clearly that there was no attempt at fraud in it and no mistakes; + and then plead, and argue and dun with all his might for any sum—any + little trifle—even a dollar—even half a dollar, on account. + Then his duty was accomplished and his conscience free. He immediately + dropped the subject there always; got out a couple of cigars and divided, + put his feet in the window, and then we would have a long, luxurious talk + about everything and everybody, and he would furnish me a world of curious + dunning adventures out of the ample store in his memory. By and by he + would clap his hat on his head, shake hands and say briskly: + </p> + <p> + "Well, business is business—can't stay with you always!"—and + was off in a second. + </p> + <p> + The idea of pining for a dun! And yet I used to long for him to come, and + would get as uneasy as any mother if the day went by without his visit, + when I was expecting him. But he never collected that bill, at last nor + any part of it. I lived to pay it to the banker myself. + </p> + <p> + Misery loves company. Now and then at night, in out-of-the way, dimly + lighted places, I found myself happening on another child of misfortune. + He looked so seedy and forlorn, so homeless and friendless and forsaken, + that I yearned toward him as a brother. I wanted to claim kinship with him + and go about and enjoy our wretchedness together. The drawing toward each + other must have been mutual; at any rate we got to falling together + oftener, though still seemingly by accident; and although we did not speak + or evince any recognition, I think the dull anxiety passed out of both of + us when we saw each other, and then for several hours we would idle along + contentedly, wide apart, and glancing furtively in at home lights and + fireside gatherings, out of the night shadows, and very much enjoying our + dumb companionship. + </p> + <p> + Finally we spoke, and were inseparable after that. For our woes were + identical, almost. He had been a reporter too, and lost his berth, and + this was his experience, as nearly as I can recollect it. After losing his + berth he had gone down, down, down, with never a halt: from a boarding + house on Russian Hill to a boarding house in Kearney street; from thence + to Dupont; from thence to a low sailor den; and from thence to lodgings in + goods boxes and empty hogsheads near the wharves. Then; for a while, he + had gained a meagre living by sewing up bursted sacks of grain on the + piers; when that failed he had found food here and there as chance threw + it in his way. He had ceased to show his face in daylight, now, for a + reporter knows everybody, rich and poor, high and low, and cannot well + avoid familiar faces in the broad light of day. + </p> + <p> + This mendicant Blucher—I call him that for convenience—was a + splendid creature. He was full of hope, pluck and philosophy; he was well + read and a man of cultivated taste; he had a bright wit and was a master + of satire; his kindliness and his generous spirit made him royal in my + eyes and changed his curb-stone seat to a throne and his damaged hat to a + crown. + </p> + <p> + He had an adventure, once, which sticks fast in my memory as the most + pleasantly grotesque that ever touched my sympathies. He had been without + a penny for two months. He had shirked about obscure streets, among + friendly dim lights, till the thing had become second nature to him. But + at last he was driven abroad in daylight. The cause was sufficient; he had + not tasted food for forty-eight hours, and he could not endure the misery + of his hunger in idle hiding. He came along a back street, glowering at + the loaves in bake-shop windows, and feeling that he could trade his life + away for a morsel to eat. The sight of the bread doubled his hunger; but + it was good to look at it, any how, and imagine what one might do if one + only had it. + </p> + <p> + Presently, in the middle of the street he saw a shining spot—looked + again—did not, and could not, believe his eyes—turned away, to + try them, then looked again. It was a verity—no vain, + hunger-inspired delusion—it was a silver dime! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link431" id="link431"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="431.jpg (31K)" src="images/431.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He snatched it—gloated over it; doubted it—bit it—found + it genuine—choked his heart down, and smothered a halleluiah. Then + he looked around—saw that nobody was looking at him—threw the + dime down where it was before—walked away a few steps, and + approached again, pretending he did not know it was there, so that he + could re-enjoy the luxury of finding it. He walked around it, viewing it + from different points; then sauntered about with his hands in his pockets, + looking up at the signs and now and then glancing at it and feeling the + old thrill again. Finally he took it up, and went away, fondling it in his + pocket. He idled through unfrequented streets, stopping in doorways and + corners to take it out and look at it. By and by he went home to his + lodgings—an empty queens-ware hogshead,—and employed himself + till night trying to make up his mind what to buy with it. But it was hard + to do. To get the most for it was the idea. He knew that at the Miner's + Restaurant he could get a plate of beans and a piece of bread for ten + cents; or a fish- ball and some few trifles, but they gave "no bread with + one fish-ball" there. At French Pete's he could get a veal cutlet, plain, + and some radishes and bread, for ten cents; or a cup of coffee—a + pint at least—and a slice of bread; but the slice was not thick + enough by the eighth of an inch, and sometimes they were still more + criminal than that in the cutting of it. At seven o'clock his hunger was + wolfish; and still his mind was not made up. He turned out and went up + Merchant street, still ciphering; and chewing a bit of stick, as is the + way of starving men. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link432" id="link432"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="432.jpg (38K)" src="images/432.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He passed before the lights of Martin's restaurant, the most aristocratic + in the city, and stopped. It was a place where he had often dined, in + better days, and Martin knew him well. Standing aside, just out of the + range of the light, he worshiped the quails and steaks in the show window, + and imagined that may be the fairy times were not gone yet and some prince + in disguise would come along presently and tell him to go in there and + take whatever he wanted. He chewed his stick with a hungry interest as he + warmed to his subject. Just at this juncture he was conscious of some one + at his side, sure enough; and then a finger touched his arm. He looked up, + over his shoulder, and saw an apparition—a very allegory of Hunger! + It was a man six feet high, gaunt, unshaven, hung with rags; with a + haggard face and sunken cheeks, and eyes that pleaded piteously. This + phantom said: + </p> + <p> + "Come with me—please." + </p> + <p> + He locked his arm in Blucher's and walked up the street to where the + passengers were few and the light not strong, and then facing about, put + out his hands in a beseeching way, and said: + </p> + <p> + "Friend—stranger—look at me! Life is easy to you—you go + about, placid and content, as I did once, in my day—you have been in + there, and eaten your sumptuous supper, and picked your teeth, and hummed + your tune, and thought your pleasant thoughts, and said to yourself it is + a good world—but you've never suffered! You don't know what trouble + is—you don't know what misery is—nor hunger! Look at me! + Stranger have pity on a poor friendless, homeless dog! As God is my judge, + I have not tasted food for eight and forty hours!—look in my eyes + and see if I lie! Give me the least trifle in the world to keep me from + starving—anything—twenty-five cents! Do it, stranger—do + it, please. It will be nothing to you, but life to me. Do it, and I will + go down on my knees and lick the dust before you! I will kiss your + footprints—I will worship the very ground you walk on! Only + twenty-five cents! I am famishing—perishing—starving by + inches! For God's sake don't desert me!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link433" id="link433"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="433.jpg (71K)" src="images/433.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Blucher was bewildered—and touched, too—stirred to the depths. + He reflected. Thought again. Then an idea struck him, and he said: + </p> + <p> + "Come with me." + </p> + <p> + He took the outcast's arm, walked him down to Martin's restaurant, seated + him at a marble table, placed the bill of fare before him, and said: + </p> + <p> + "Order what you want, friend. Charge it to me, Mr. Martin." + </p> + <p> + "All right, Mr. Blucher," said Martin. + </p> + <p> + Then Blucher stepped back and leaned against the counter and watched the + man stow away cargo after cargo of buckwheat cakes at seventy-five cents a + plate; cup after cup of coffee, and porter house steaks worth two dollars + apiece; and when six dollars and a half's worth of destruction had been + accomplished, and the stranger's hunger appeased, Blucher went down to + French Pete's, bought a veal cutlet plain, a slice of bread, and three + radishes, with his dime, and set to and feasted like a king! + </p> + <p> + Take the episode all around, it was as odd as any that can be culled from + the myriad curiosities of Californian life, perhaps. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch60" id="linkch60"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + By and by, an old friend of mine, a miner, came down from one of the + decayed mining camps of Tuolumne, California, and I went back with him. We + lived in a small cabin on a verdant hillside, and there were not five + other cabins in view over the wide expanse of hill and forest. Yet a + flourishing city of two or three thousand population had occupied this + grassy dead solitude during the flush times of twelve or fifteen years + before, and where our cabin stood had once been the heart of the teeming + hive, the centre of the city. When the mines gave out the town fell into + decay, and in a few years wholly disappeared—streets, dwellings, + shops, everything—and left no sign. The grassy slopes were as green + and smooth and desolate of life as if they had never been disturbed. The + mere handful of miners still remaining, had seen the town spring up + spread, grow and flourish in its pride; and they had seen it sicken and + die, and pass away like a dream. With it their hopes had died, and their + zest of life. They had long ago resigned themselves to their exile, and + ceased to correspond with their distant friends or turn longing eyes + toward their early homes. They had accepted banishment, forgotten the + world and been forgotten of the world. They were far from telegraphs and + railroads, and they stood, as it were, in a living grave, dead to the + events that stirred the globe's great populations, dead to the common + interests of men, isolated and outcast from brotherhood with their kind. + It was the most singular, and almost the most touching and melancholy + exile that fancy can imagine.—One of my associates in this locality, + for two or three months, was a man who had had a university education; but + now for eighteen years he had decayed there by inches, a bearded, rough- + clad, clay-stained miner, and at times, among his sighings and + soliloquizings, he unconsciously interjected vaguely remembered Latin and + Greek sentences—dead and musty tongues, meet vehicles for the + thoughts of one whose dreams were all of the past, whose life was a + failure; a tired man, burdened with the present, and indifferent to the + future; a man without ties, hopes, interests, waiting for rest and the + end. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link436" id="link436"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="436.jpg (34K)" src="images/436.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + In that one little corner of California is found a species of mining which + is seldom or never mentioned in print. It is called "pocket mining" and I + am not aware that any of it is done outside of that little corner. The + gold is not evenly distributed through the surface dirt, as in ordinary + placer mines, but is collected in little spots, and they are very wide + apart and exceedingly hard to find, but when you do find one you reap a + rich and sudden harvest. There are not now more than twenty pocket miners + in that entire little region. I think I know every one of them personally. + I have known one of them to hunt patiently about the hill-sides every day + for eight months without finding gold enough to make a snuff-box—his + grocery bill running up relentlessly all the time—and then find a + pocket and take out of it two thousand dollars in two dips of his shovel. + I have known him to take out three thousand dollars in two hours, and go + and pay up every cent of his indebtedness, then enter on a dazzling spree + that finished the last of his treasure before the night was gone. And the + next day he bought his groceries on credit as usual, and shouldered his + pan and shovel and went off to the hills hunting pockets again happy and + content. This is the most fascinating of all the different kinds of + mining, and furnishes a very handsome percentage of victims to the lunatic + asylum. + </p> + <p> + Pocket hunting is an ingenious process. You take a spadeful of earth from + the hill-side and put it in a large tin pan and dissolve and wash it + gradually away till nothing is left but a teaspoonful of fine sediment. + Whatever gold was in that earth has remained, because, being the heaviest, + it has sought the bottom. Among the sediment you will find half a dozen + yellow particles no larger than pin-heads. You are delighted. You move off + to one side and wash another pan. If you find gold again, you move to one + side further, and wash a third pan. If you find no gold this time, you are + delighted again, because you know you are on the right scent. + </p> + <p> + You lay an imaginary plan, shaped like a fan, with its handle up the hill—for + just where the end of the handle is, you argue that the rich deposit lies + hidden, whose vagrant grains of gold have escaped and been washed down the + hill, spreading farther and farther apart as they wandered. And so you + proceed up the hill, washing the earth and narrowing your lines every time + the absence of gold in the pan shows that you are outside the spread of + the fan; and at last, twenty yards up the hill your lines have converged + to a point—a single foot from that point you cannot find any gold. + Your breath comes short and quick, you are feverish with excitement; the + dinner-bell may ring its clapper off, you pay no attention; friends may + die, weddings transpire, houses burn down, they are nothing to you; you + sweat and dig and delve with a frantic interest—and all at once you + strike it! Up comes a spadeful of earth and quartz that is all lovely with + soiled lumps and leaves and sprays of gold. Sometimes that one spadeful is + all—$500. Sometimes the nest contains $10,000, and it takes you + three or four days to get it all out. The pocket-miners tell of one nest + that yielded $60,000 and two men exhausted it in two weeks, and then sold + the ground for $10,000 to a party who never got $300 out of it afterward. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link437" id="link437"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="437.jpg (37K)" src="images/437.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The hogs are good pocket hunters. All the summer they root around the + bushes, and turn up a thousand little piles of dirt, and then the miners + long for the rains; for the rains beat upon these little piles and wash + them down and expose the gold, possibly right over a pocket. Two pockets + were found in this way by the same man in one day. One had $5,000 in it + and the other $8,000. That man could appreciate it, for he hadn't had a + cent for about a year. + </p> + <p> + In Tuolumne lived two miners who used to go to the neighboring village in + the afternoon and return every night with household supplies. Part of the + distance they traversed a trail, and nearly always sat down to rest on a + great boulder that lay beside the path. In the course of thirteen years + they had worn that boulder tolerably smooth, sitting on it. By and by two + vagrant Mexicans came along and occupied the seat. They began to amuse + themselves by chipping off flakes from the boulder with a sledge- hammer. + They examined one of these flakes and found it rich with gold. That + boulder paid them $800 afterward. But the aggravating circumstance was + that these "Greasers" knew that there must be more gold where that boulder + came from, and so they went panning up the hill and found what was + probably the richest pocket that region has yet produced. It took three + months to exhaust it, and it yielded $120,000. The two American miners who + used to sit on the boulder are poor yet, and they take turn about in + getting up early in the morning to curse those Mexicans—and when it + comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above + the sons of men. + </p> + <p> + I have dwelt at some length upon this matter of pocket mining because it + is a subject that is seldom referred to in print, and therefore I judged + that it would have for the reader that interest which naturally attaches + to novelty. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch61" + id="linkch61"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + One of my comrades there—another of those victims of eighteen years + of unrequited toil and blighted hopes—was one of the gentlest + spirits that ever bore its patient cross in a weary exile: grave and + simple Dick Baker, pocket-miner of Dead-House Gulch.—He was + forty-six, gray as a rat, earnest, thoughtful, slenderly educated, + slouchily dressed and clay- soiled, but his heart was finer metal than any + gold his shovel ever brought to light—than any, indeed, that ever + was mined or minted. + </p> + <p> + Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to + mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used to own (for where women + and children are not, men of kindly impulses take up with pets, for they + must love something). And he always spoke of the strange sagacity of that + cat with the air of a man who believed in his secret heart that there was + something human about it—may be even supernatural. + </p> + <p> + I heard him talking about this animal once. He said: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link440" id="link440"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="440.jpg (18K)" src="images/440.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, I used to have a cat here, by the name of Tom Quartz, which + you'd a took an interest in I reckon—most any body would. I had him + here eight year—and he was the remarkablest cat I ever see. He was a + large gray one of the Tom specie, an' he had more hard, natchral sense + than any man in this camp—'n' a power of dignity—he wouldn't + let the Gov'ner of Californy be familiar with him. He never ketched a rat + in his life—'peared to be above it. He never cared for nothing but + mining. He knowed more about mining, that cat did, than any man I ever, + ever see. You couldn't tell him noth'n 'bout placer diggin's—'n' as + for pocket mining, why he was just born for it. + </p> + <p> + "He would dig out after me an' Jim when we went over the hills + prospect'n', and he would trot along behind us for as much as five mile, + if we went so fur. An' he had the best judgment about mining ground—why + you never see anything like it. When we went to work, he'd scatter a + glance around, 'n' if he didn't think much of the indications, he would + give a look as much as to say, 'Well, I'll have to get you to excuse me,' + 'n' without another word he'd hyste his nose into the air 'n' shove for + home. But if the ground suited him, he would lay low 'n' keep dark till + the first pan was washed, 'n' then he would sidle up 'n' take a look, an' + if there was about six or seven grains of gold he was satisfied—he + didn't want no better prospect 'n' that—'n' then he would lay down + on our coats and snore like a steamboat till we'd struck the pocket, an' + then get up 'n' superintend. He was nearly lightnin' on superintending. + </p> + <p> + "Well, bye an' bye, up comes this yer quartz excitement. Every body was + into it—every body was pick'n' 'n' blast'n' instead of shovelin' + dirt on the hill side—every body was put'n' down a shaft instead of + scrapin' the surface. Noth'n' would do Jim, but we must tackle the ledges, + too, 'n' so we did. We commenced put'n' down a shaft, 'n' Tom Quartz he + begin to wonder what in the Dickens it was all about. He hadn't ever seen + any mining like that before, 'n' he was all upset, as you may say—he + couldn't come to a right understanding of it no way—it was too many + for him. He was down on it, too, you bet you—he was down on it + powerful—'n' always appeared to consider it the cussedest + foolishness out. But that cat, you know, was always agin new fangled + arrangements—somehow he never could abide'em. You know how it is + with old habits. But by an' by Tom Quartz begin to git sort of reconciled + a little, though he never could altogether understand that eternal sinkin' + of a shaft an' never pannin' out any thing. At last he got to comin' down + in the shaft, hisself, to try to cipher it out. An' when he'd git the + blues, 'n' feel kind o'scruffy, 'n' aggravated 'n' disgusted—knowin' + as he did, that the bills was runnin' up all the time an' we warn't makin' + a cent—he would curl up on a gunny sack in the corner an' go to + sleep. Well, one day when the shaft was down about eight foot, the rock + got so hard that we had to put in a blast—the first blast'n' we'd + ever done since Tom Quartz was born. An' then we lit the fuse 'n' clumb + out 'n' got off 'bout fifty yards—'n' forgot 'n' left Tom Quartz + sound asleep on the gunny sack. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link441" id="link441"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="441.jpg (89K)" src="images/441.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "In 'bout a minute we seen a puff of smoke bust up out of the hole, 'n' + then everything let go with an awful crash, 'n' about four million ton of + rocks 'n' dirt 'n' smoke 'n; splinters shot up 'bout a mile an' a half + into the air, an' by George, right in the dead centre of it was old Tom + Quartz a goin' end over end, an' a snortin' an' a sneez'n', an' a clawin' + an' a reachin' for things like all possessed. But it warn't no use, you + know, it warn't no use. An' that was the last we see of him for about two + minutes 'n' a half, an' then all of a sudden it begin to rain rocks and + rubbage, an' directly he come down ker-whop about ten foot off f'm where + we stood Well, I reckon he was p'raps the orneriest lookin' beast you ever + see. One ear was sot back on his neck, 'n' his tail was stove up, 'n' his + eye-winkers was swinged off, 'n' he was all blacked up with powder an' + smoke, an' all sloppy with mud 'n' slush f'm one end to the other. + </p> + <p> + "Well sir, it warn't no use to try to apologize—we couldn't say a + word. He took a sort of a disgusted look at hisself, 'n' then he looked at + us—an' it was just exactly the same as if he had said—'Gents, + may be you think it's smart to take advantage of a cat that 'ain't had no + experience of quartz minin', but I think different'—an' then he + turned on his heel 'n' marched off home without ever saying another word. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link442" id="link442"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="442.jpg (16K)" src="images/442.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "That was jest his style. An' may be you won't believe it, but after that + you never see a cat so prejudiced agin quartz mining as what he was. An' + by an' bye when he did get to goin' down in the shaft agin, you'd 'a been + astonished at his sagacity. The minute we'd tetch off a blast 'n' the + fuse'd begin to sizzle, he'd give a look as much as to say: 'Well, I'll + have to git you to excuse me,' an' it was surpris'n' the way he'd shin out + of that hole 'n' go f'r a tree. Sagacity? It ain't no name for it. 'Twas + inspiration!" + </p> + <p> + I said, "Well, Mr. Baker, his prejudice against quartz-mining was + remarkable, considering how he came by it. Couldn't you ever cure him of + it?" + </p> + <p> + "Cure him! No! When Tom Quartz was sot once, he was always sot—and + you might a blowed him up as much as three million times 'n' you'd never a + broken him of his cussed prejudice agin quartz mining." + </p> + <p> + The affection and the pride that lit up Baker's face when he delivered + this tribute to the firmness of his humble friend of other days, will + always be a vivid memory with me. + </p> + <p> + At the end of two months we had never "struck" a pocket. We had panned up + and down the hillsides till they looked plowed like a field; we could have + put in a crop of grain, then, but there would have been no way to get it + to market. We got many good "prospects," but when the gold gave out in the + pan and we dug down, hoping and longing, we found only emptiness—the + pocket that should have been there was as barren as our own.—At last + we shouldered our pans and shovels and struck out over the hills to try + new localities. We prospected around Angel's Camp, in Calaveras county, + during three weeks, but had no success. Then we wandered on foot among the + mountains, sleeping under the trees at night, for the weather was mild, + but still we remained as centless as the last rose of summer. That is a + poor joke, but it is in pathetic harmony with the circumstances, since we + were so poor ourselves. In accordance with the custom of the country, our + door had always stood open and our board welcome to tramping miners—they + drifted along nearly every day, dumped their paust shovels by the + threshold and took "pot luck" with us—and now on our own tramp we + never found cold hospitality. + </p> + <p> + Our wanderings were wide and in many directions; and now I could give the + reader a vivid description of the Big Trees and the marvels of the Yo + Semite—but what has this reader done to me that I should persecute + him? I will deliver him into the hands of less conscientious tourists and + take his blessing. Let me be charitable, though I fail in all virtues + else. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + Note: Some of the phrases in the above are mining technicalities, + purely, and may be a little obscure to the general reader. In "placer + diggings" the gold is scattered all through the surface dirt; in + "pocket" diggings it is concentrated in one little spot; in "quartz" the + gold is in a solid, continuous vein of rock, enclosed between distinct + walls of some other kind of stone—and this is the most laborious + and expensive of all the different kinds of mining. "Prospecting" is + hunting for a "placer"; "indications" are signs of its presence; + "panning out" refers to the washing process by which the grains of gold + are separated from the dirt; a "prospect" is what one finds in the first + panful of dirt—and its value determines whether it is a good or a + bad prospect, and whether it is worth while to tarry there or seek + further. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch62" id="linkch62"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + After a three months' absence, I found myself in San Francisco again, + without a cent. When my credit was about exhausted, (for I had become too + mean and lazy, now, to work on a morning paper, and there were no + vacancies on the evening journals,) I was created San Francisco + correspondent of the Enterprise, and at the end of five months I was out + of debt, but my interest in my work was gone; for my correspondence being + a daily one, without rest or respite, I got unspeakably tired of it. I + wanted another change. The vagabond instinct was strong upon me. Fortune + favored and I got a new berth and a delightful one. It was to go down to + the Sandwich Islands and write some letters for the Sacramento Union, an + excellent journal and liberal with employees. + </p> + <p> + We sailed in the propeller Ajax, in the middle of winter. The almanac + called it winter, distinctly enough, but the weather was a compromise + between spring and summer. Six days out of port, it became summer + altogether. We had some thirty passengers; among them a cheerful soul by + the name of Williams, and three sea-worn old whaleship captains going down + to join their vessels. These latter played euchre in the smoking room day + and night, drank astonishing quantities of raw whisky without being in the + least affected by it, and were the happiest people I think I ever saw. And + then there was "the old Admiral—" a retired whaleman. He was a + roaring, terrific combination of wind and lightning and thunder, and + earnest, whole-souled profanity. But nevertheless he was tender- hearted + as a girl. He was a raving, deafening, devastating typhoon, laying waste + the cowering seas but with an unvexed refuge in the centre where all + comers were safe and at rest. Nobody could know the "Admiral" without + liking him; and in a sudden and dire emergency I think no friend of his + would know which to choose—to be cursed by him or prayed for by a + less efficient person. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link445" id="link445"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="445.jpg (65K)" src="images/445.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + His Title of "Admiral" was more strictly "official" than any ever worn by + a naval officer before or since, perhaps—for it was the voluntary + offering of a whole nation, and came direct from the people themselves + without any intermediate red tape—the people of the Sandwich + Islands. It was a title that came to him freighted with affection, and + honor, and appreciation of his unpretending merit. And in testimony of the + genuineness of the title it was publicly ordained that an exclusive flag + should be devised for him and used solely to welcome his coming and wave + him God-speed in his going. From that time forth, whenever his ship was + signaled in the offing, or he catted his anchor and stood out to sea, that + ensign streamed from the royal halliards on the parliament house and the + nation lifted their hats to it with spontaneous accord. + </p> + <p> + Yet he had never fired a gun or fought a battle in his life. When I knew + him on board the Ajax, he was seventy-two years old and had plowed the + salt water sixty-one of them. For sixteen years he had gone in and out of + the harbor of Honolulu in command of a whaleship, and for sixteen more had + been captain of a San Francisco and Sandwich Island passenger packet and + had never had an accident or lost a vessel. The simple natives knew him + for a friend who never failed them, and regarded him as children regard a + father. It was a dangerous thing to oppress them when the roaring Admiral + was around. + </p> + <p> + Two years before I knew the Admiral, he had retired from the sea on a + competence, and had sworn a colossal nine-jointed oath that he would + "never go within smelling distance of the salt water again as long as he + lived." And he had conscientiously kept it. That is to say, he considered + he had kept it, and it would have been more than dangerous to suggest to + him, even in the gentlest way, that making eleven long sea voyages, as a + passenger, during the two years that had transpired since he "retired," + was only keeping the general spirit of it and not the strict letter. + </p> + <p> + The Admiral knew only one narrow line of conduct to pursue in any and all + cases where there was a fight, and that was to shoulder his way straight + in without an inquiry as to the rights or the merits of it, and take the + part of the weaker side.—And this was the reason why he was always + sure to be present at the trial of any universally execrated criminal to + oppress and intimidate the jury with a vindictive pantomime of what he + would do to them if he ever caught them out of the box. And this was why + harried cats and outlawed dogs that knew him confidently took sanctuary + under his chair in time of trouble. In the beginning he was the most + frantic and bloodthirsty Union man that drew breath in the shadow of the + Flag; but the instant the Southerners began to go down before the sweep of + the Northern armies, he ran up the Confederate colors and from that time + till the end was a rampant and inexorable secessionist. + </p> + <p> + He hated intemperance with a more uncompromising animosity than any + individual I have ever met, of either sex; and he was never tired of + storming against it and beseeching friends and strangers alike to be wary + and drink with moderation. And yet if any creature had been guileless + enough to intimate that his absorbing nine gallons of "straight" whiskey + during our voyage was any fraction short of rigid or inflexible + abstemiousness, in that self-same moment the old man would have spun him + to the uttermost parts of the earth in the whirlwind of his wrath. Mind, I + am not saying his whisky ever affected his head or his legs, for it did + not, in even the slightest degree. He was a capacious container, but he + did not hold enough for that. He took a level tumblerful of whisky every + morning before he put his clothes on—"to sweeten his bilgewater," he + said.—He took another after he got the most of his clothes on, "to + settle his mind and give him his bearings." He then shaved, and put on a + clean shirt; after which he recited the Lord's Prayer in a fervent, + thundering bass that shook the ship to her kelson and suspended all + conversation in the main cabin. Then, at this stage, being invariably "by + the head," or "by the stern," or "listed to port or starboard," he took + one more to "put him on an even keel so that he would mind his hellum and + not miss stays and go about, every time he came up in the wind."—And + now, his state-room door swung open and the sun of his benignant face + beamed redly out upon men and women and children, and he roared his + "Shipmets a'hoy!" in a way that was calculated to wake the dead and + precipitate the final resurrection; and forth he strode, a picture to look + at and a presence to enforce attention. Stalwart and portly; not a gray + hair; broadbrimmed slouch hat; semi-sailor toggery of blue navy flannel—roomy + and ample; a stately expanse of shirt-front and a liberal amount of black + silk neck-cloth tied with a sailor knot; large chain and imposing seals + impending from his fob; awe-inspiring feet, and "a hand like the hand of + Providence," as his whaling brethren expressed it; wrist-bands and sleeves + pushed back half way to the elbow, out of respect for the warm weather, + and exposing hairy arms, gaudy with red and blue anchors, ships, and + goddesses of liberty tattooed in India ink. But these details were only + secondary matters—his face was the lodestone that chained the eye. + It was a sultry disk, glowing determinedly out through a weather beaten + mask of mahogany, and studded with warts, seamed with scars, "blazed" all + over with unfailing fresh slips of the razor; and with cheery eyes, under + shaggy brows, contemplating the world from over the back of a gnarled crag + of a nose that loomed vast and lonely out of the undulating immensity that + spread away from its foundations. At his heels frisked the darling of his + bachelor estate, his terrier "Fan," a creature no larger than a squirrel. + The main part of his daily life was occupied in looking after "Fan," in a + motherly way, and doctoring her for a hundred ailments which existed only + in his imagination. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link448" id="link448"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="448.jpg (48K)" src="images/448.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The Admiral seldom read newspapers; and when he did he never believed + anything they said. He read nothing, and believed in nothing, but "The Old + Guard," a secession periodical published in New York. He carried a dozen + copies of it with him, always, and referred to them for all required + information. If it was not there, he supplied it himself, out of a + bountiful fancy, inventing history, names, dates, and every thing else + necessary to make his point good in an argument. Consequently he was a + formidable antagonist in a dispute. Whenever he swung clear of the record + and began to create history, the enemy was helpless and had to surrender. + Indeed, the enemy could not keep from betraying some little spark of + indignation at his manufactured history—and when it came to + indignation, that was the Admiral's very "best hold." He was always ready + for a political argument, and if nobody started one he would do it + himself. With his third retort his temper would begin to rise, and within + five minutes he would be blowing a gale, and within fifteen his + smoking-room audience would be utterly stormed away and the old man left + solitary and alone, banging the table with his fist, kicking the chairs, + and roaring a hurricane of profanity. It got so, after a while, that + whenever the Admiral approached, with politics in his eye, the passengers + would drop out with quiet accord, afraid to meet him; and he would camp on + a deserted field. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link449" id="link449"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="449.jpg (34K)" src="images/449.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But he found his match at last, and before a full company. At one time or + another, everybody had entered the lists against him and been routed, + except the quiet passenger Williams. He had never been able to get an + expression of opinion out of him on politics. But now, just as the Admiral + drew near the door and the company were about to slip out, Williams said: + </p> + <p> + "Admiral, are you certain about that circumstance concerning the clergymen + you mentioned the other day?"—referring to a piece of the Admiral's + manufactured history. + </p> + <p> + Every one was amazed at the man's rashness. The idea of deliberately + inviting annihilation was a thing incomprehensible. The retreat came to a + halt; then everybody sat down again wondering, to await the upshot of it. + The Admiral himself was as surprised as any one. He paused in the door, + with his red handkerchief half raised to his sweating face, and + contemplated the daring reptile in the corner. + </p> + <p> + "Certain of it? Am I certain of it? Do you think I've been lying about it? + What do you take me for? Anybody that don't know that circumstance, don't + know anything; a child ought to know it. Read up your history! Read it up——-, + and don't come asking a man if he's certain about a bit of ABC stuff that + the very southern niggers know all about." + </p> + <p> + Here the Admiral's fires began to wax hot, the atmosphere thickened, the + coming earthquake rumbled, he began to thunder and lighten. Within three + minutes his volcano was in full irruption and he was discharging flames + and ashes of indignation, belching black volumes of foul history aloft, + and vomiting red-hot torrents of profanity from his crater. Meantime + Williams sat silent, and apparently deeply and earnestly interested in + what the old man was saying. By and by, when the lull came, he said in the + most deferential way, and with the gratified air of a man who has had a + mystery cleared up which had been puzzling him uncomfortably: + </p> + <p> + "Now I understand it. I always thought I knew that piece of history well + enough, but was still afraid to trust it, because there was not that + convincing particularity about it that one likes to have in history; but + when you mentioned every name, the other day, and every date, and every + little circumstance, in their just order and sequence, I said to myself, + this sounds something like—this is history—this is putting it + in a shape that gives a man confidence; and I said to myself afterward, I + will just ask the Admiral if he is perfectly certain about the details, + and if he is I will come out and thank him for clearing this matter up for + me. And that is what I want to do now—for until you set that matter + right it was nothing but just a confusion in my mind, without head or tail + to it." + </p> + <p> + Nobody ever saw the Admiral look so mollified before, and so pleased. + Nobody had ever received his bogus history as gospel before; its + genuineness had always been called in question either by words or looks; + but here was a man that not only swallowed it all down, but was grateful + for the dose. He was taken a back; he hardly knew what to say; even his + profanity failed him. Now, Williams continued, modestly and earnestly: + </p> + <p> + "But Admiral, in saying that this was the first stone thrown, and that + this precipitated the war, you have overlooked a circumstance which you + are perfectly familiar with, but which has escaped your memory. Now I + grant you that what you have stated is correct in every detail—to + wit: that on the 16th of October, 1860, two Massachusetts clergymen, named + Waite and Granger, went in disguise to the house of John Moody, in + Rockport, at dead of night, and dragged forth two southern women and their + two little children, and after tarring and feathering them conveyed them + to Boston and burned them alive in the State House square; and I also + grant your proposition that this deed is what led to the secession of + South Carolina on the 20th of December following. Very well." [Here the + company were pleasantly surprised to hear Williams proceed to come back at + the Admiral with his own invincible weapon—clean, pure, manufactured + history, without a word of truth in it.] "Very well, I say. But Admiral, + why overlook the Willis and Morgan case in South Carolina? You are too + well informed a man not to know all about that circumstance. Your + arguments and your conversations have shown you to be intimately + conversant with every detail of this national quarrel. You develop matters + of history every day that show plainly that you are no smatterer in it, + content to nibble about the surface, but a man who has searched the depths + and possessed yourself of everything that has a bearing upon the great + question. Therefore, let me just recall to your mind that Willis and + Morgan case—though I see by your face that the whole thing is + already passing through your memory at this moment. On the 12th of August, + 1860, two months before the Waite and Granger affair, two South Carolina + clergymen, named John H. Morgan and Winthrop L. Willis, one a Methodist + and the other an Old School Baptist, disguised themselves, and went at + midnight to the house of a planter named Thompson—Archibald F. + Thompson, Vice President under Thomas Jefferson,—and took thence, at + midnight, his widowed aunt, (a Northern woman,) and her adopted child, an + orphan—named Mortimer Highie, afflicted with epilepsy and suffering + at the time from white swelling on one of his legs, and compelled to walk + on crutches in consequence; and the two ministers, in spite of the + pleadings of the victims, dragged them to the bush, tarred and feathered + them, and afterward burned them at the stake in the city of Charleston. + You remember perfectly well what a stir it made; you remember perfectly + well that even the Charleston Courier stigmatized the act as being + unpleasant, of questionable propriety, and scarcely justifiable, and + likewise that it would not be matter of surprise if retaliation ensued. + And you remember also, that this thing was the cause of the Massachusetts + outrage. Who, indeed, were the two Massachusetts ministers? and who were + the two Southern women they burned? I do not need to remind you, Admiral, + with your intimate knowledge of history, that Waite was the nephew of the + woman burned in Charleston; that Granger was her cousin in the second + degree, and that the woman they burned in Boston was the wife of John H. + Morgan, and the still loved but divorced wife of Winthrop L. Willis. Now, + Admiral, it is only fair that you should acknowledge that the first + provocation came from the Southern preachers and that the Northern ones + were justified in retaliating. In your arguments you never yet have shown + the least disposition to withhold a just verdict or be in anywise unfair, + when authoritative history condemned your position, and therefore I have + no hesitation in asking you to take the original blame from the + Massachusetts ministers, in this matter, and transfer it to the South + Carolina clergymen where it justly belongs." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link453" id="link453"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="453.jpg (44K)" src="images/453.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The Admiral was conquered. This sweet spoken creature who swallowed his + fraudulent history as if it were the bread of life; basked in his furious + blasphemy as if it were generous sunshine; found only calm, even-handed + justice in his rampart partisanship; and flooded him with invented history + so sugarcoated with flattery and deference that there was no rejecting it, + was "too many" for him. He stammered some awkward, profane sentences about + the——-Willis and Morgan business having escaped his memory, + but that he "remembered it now," and then, under pretence of giving Fan + some medicine for an imaginary cough, drew out of the battle and went + away, a vanquished man. Then cheers and laughter went up, and Williams, + the ship's benefactor was a hero. The news went about the vessel, + champagne was ordered, and enthusiastic reception instituted in the + smoking room, and everybody flocked thither to shake hands with the + conqueror. The wheelman said afterward, that the Admiral stood up behind + the pilot house and "ripped and cursed all to himself" till he loosened + the smokestack guys and becalmed the mainsail. + </p> + <p> + The Admiral's power was broken. After that, if he began argument, somebody + would bring Williams, and the old man would grow weak and begin to quiet + down at once. And as soon as he was done, Williams in his dulcet, + insinuating way, would invent some history (referring for proof, to the + old man's own excellent memory and to copies of "The Old Guard" known not + to be in his possession) that would turn the tables completely and leave + the Admiral all abroad and helpless. By and by he came to so dread + Williams and his gilded tongue that he would stop talking when he saw him + approach, and finally ceased to mention politics altogether, and from that + time forward there was entire peace and serenity in the ship. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch63" id="linkch63"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + On a certain bright morning the Islands hove in sight, lying low on the + lonely sea, and everybody climbed to the upper deck to look. After two + thousand miles of watery solitude the vision was a welcome one. As we + approached, the imposing promontory of Diamond Head rose up out of the + ocean its rugged front softened by the hazy distance, and presently the + details of the land began to make themselves manifest: first the line of + beach; then the plumed coacoanut trees of the tropics; then cabins of the + natives; then the white town of Honolulu, said to contain between twelve + and fifteen thousand inhabitants spread over a dead level; with streets + from twenty to thirty feet wide, solid and level as a floor, most of them + straight as a line and few as crooked as a corkscrew. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link455" id="link455"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="455.jpg (98K)" src="images/455.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The further I traveled through the town the better I liked it. Every step + revealed a new contrast—disclosed something I was unaccustomed to. + In place of the grand mud-colored brown fronts of San Francisco, I saw + dwellings built of straw, adobies, and cream-colored pebble-and-shell- + conglomerated coral, cut into oblong blocks and laid in cement; also a + great number of neat white cottages, with green window-shutters; in place + of front yards like billiard-tables with iron fences around them, I saw + these homes surrounded by ample yards, thickly clad with green grass, and + shaded by tall trees, through whose dense foliage the sun could scarcely + penetrate; in place of the customary geranium, calla lily, etc., + languishing in dust and general debility, I saw luxurious banks and + thickets of flowers, fresh as a meadow after a rain, and glowing with the + richest dyes; in place of the dingy horrors of San Francisco's pleasure + grove, the "Willows," I saw huge-bodied, wide-spreading forest trees, with + strange names and stranger appearance—trees that cast a shadow like + a thunder-cloud, and were able to stand alone without being tied to green + poles; in place of gold fish, wiggling around in glass globes, assuming + countless shades and degrees of distortion through the magnifying and + diminishing qualities of their transparent prison houses, I saw cats—Tom-cats, + Mary Ann cats, long-tailed cats, bob-tailed cats, blind cats, one-eyed + cats, wall-eyed cats, cross-eyed cats, gray cats, black cats, white cats, + yellow cats, striped cats, spotted cats, tame cats, wild cats, singed + cats, individual cats, groups of cats, platoons of cats, companies of + cats, regiments of cats, armies of cats, multitudes of cats, millions of + cats, and all of them sleek, fat, lazy and sound asleep. I looked on a + multitude of people, some white, in white coats, vests, pantaloons, even + white cloth shoes, made snowy with chalk duly laid on every morning; but + the majority of the people were almost as dark as negroes—women with + comely features, fine black eyes, rounded forms, inclining to the + voluptuous, clad in a single bright red or white garment that fell free + and unconfined from shoulder to heel, long black hair falling loose, gypsy + hats, encircled with wreaths of natural flowers of a brilliant carmine + tint; plenty of dark men in various costumes, and some with nothing on but + a battered stove-pipe hat tilted on the nose, and a very scant + breech-clout;—certain smoke-dried children were clothed in nothing + but sunshine—a very neat fitting and picturesque apparel indeed. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link456" id="link456"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="456.jpg (25K)" src="images/456.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + In place of roughs and rowdies staring and blackguarding on the corners, I + saw long-haired, saddle-colored Sandwich Island maidens sitting on the + ground in the shade of corner houses, gazing indolently at whatever or + whoever happened along; instead of wretched cobble-stone pavements, I + walked on a firm foundation of coral, built up from the bottom of the sea + by the absurd but persevering insect of that name, with a light layer of + lava and cinders overlying the coral, belched up out of fathomless + perdition long ago through the seared and blackened crater that stands + dead and harmless in the distance now; instead of cramped and crowded + street-cars, I met dusky native women sweeping by, free as the wind, on + fleet horses and astride, with gaudy riding-sashes, streaming like banners + behind them; instead of the combined stenches of Chinadom and Brannan + street slaughter-houses, I breathed the balmy fragrance of jessamine, + oleander, and the Pride of India; in place of the hurry and bustle and + noisy confusion of San Francisco, I moved in the midst of a Summer calm as + tranquil as dawn in the Garden of Eden; in place of the Golden City's + skirting sand hills and the placid bay, I saw on the one side a frame-work + of tall, precipitous mountains close at hand, clad in refreshing green, + and cleft by deep, cool, chasm-like valleys—and in front the grand + sweep of the ocean; a brilliant, transparent green near the shore, bound + and bordered by a long white line of foamy spray dashing against the reef, + and further out the dead blue water of the deep sea, flecked with "white + caps," and in the far horizon a single, lonely sail—a mere + accent-mark to emphasize a slumberous calm and a solitude that were + without sound or limit. When the sun sunk down—the one intruder from + other realms and persistent in suggestions of them—it was tranced + luxury to sit in the perfumed air and forget that there was any world but + these enchanted islands. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link457" id="link457"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="457.jpg (43K)" src="images/457.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It was such ecstacy to dream, and dream—till you got a bite. A + scorpion bite. Then the first duty was to get up out of the grass and kill + the scorpion; and the next to bathe the bitten place with alcohol or + brandy; and the next to resolve to keep out of the grass in future. Then + came an adjournment to the bed-chamber and the pastime of writing up the + day's journal with one hand and the destruction of mosquitoes with the + other—a whole community of them at a slap. Then, observing an enemy + approaching,—a hairy tarantula on stilts—why not set the + spittoon on him? It is done, and the projecting ends of his paws give a + luminous idea of the magnitude of his reach. Then to bed and become a + promenade for a centipede with forty-two legs on a side and every foot hot + enough to burn a hole through a raw-hide. More soaking with alcohol, and a + resolution to examine the bed before entering it, in future. Then wait, + and suffer, till all the mosquitoes in the neighborhood have crawled in + under the bar, then slip out quickly, shut them in and sleep peacefully on + the floor till morning. Meantime it is comforting to curse the tropics in + occasional wakeful intervals. + </p> + <p> + We had an abundance of fruit in Honolulu, of course. Oranges, pine- + apples, bananas, strawberries, lemons, limes, mangoes, guavas, melons, and + a rare and curious luxury called the chirimoya, which is deliciousness + itself. Then there is the tamarind. I thought tamarinds were made to eat, + but that was probably not the idea. I ate several, and it seemed to me + that they were rather sour that year. They pursed up my lips, till they + resembled the stem-end of a tomato, and I had to take my sustenance + through a quill for twenty-four hours. + </p> + <p> + They sharpened my teeth till I could have shaved with them, and gave them + a "wire edge" that I was afraid would stay; but a citizen said "no, it + will come off when the enamel does"—which was comforting, at any + rate. I found, afterward, that only strangers eat tamarinds—but they + only eat them once. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link458" id="link458"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="458.jpg (145K)" src="images/458.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch64" id="linkch64"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + In my diary of our third day in Honolulu, I find this: + </p> + <p> + I am probably the most sensitive man in Hawaii to-night—especially + about sitting down in the presence of my betters. I have ridden fifteen or + twenty miles on horse-back since 5 P.M. and to tell the honest truth, I + have a delicacy about sitting down at all. + </p> + <p> + An excursion to Diamond Head and the King's Coacoanut Grove was planned + to-day—time, 4:30 P.M.—the party to consist of half a dozen + gentlemen and three ladies. They all started at the appointed hour except + myself. I was at the Government prison, (with Captain Fish and another + whaleship- skipper, Captain Phillips,) and got so interested in its + examination that I did not notice how quickly the time was passing. + Somebody remarked that it was twenty minutes past five o'clock, and that + woke me up. It was a fortunate circumstance that Captain Phillips was + along with his "turn out," as he calls a top-buggy that Captain Cook + brought here in 1778, and a horse that was here when Captain Cook came. + Captain Phillips takes a just pride in his driving and in the speed of his + horse, and to his passion for displaying them I owe it that we were only + sixteen minutes coming from the prison to the American Hotel—a + distance which has been estimated to be over half a mile. But it took some + fearful driving. The Captain's whip came down fast, and the blows started + so much dust out of the horse's hide that during the last half of the + journey we rode through an impenetrable fog, and ran by a pocket compass + in the hands of Captain Fish, a whaler of twenty-six years experience, who + sat there through the perilous voyage as self-possessed as if he had been + on the euchre-deck of his own ship, and calmly said, "Port your helm—port," + from time to time, and "Hold her a little free—steady—so—so," + and "Luff—hard down to starboard!" and never once lost his presence + of mind or betrayed the least anxiety by voice or manner. When we came to + anchor at last, and Captain Phillips looked at his watch and said, + "Sixteen minutes—I told you it was in her! that's over three miles + an hour!" I could see he felt entitled to a compliment, and so I said I + had never seen lightning go like that horse. And I never had. + </p> + <p> + The landlord of the American said the party had been gone nearly an hour, + but that he could give me my choice of several horses that could overtake + them. I said, never mind—I preferred a safe horse to a fast one—I + would like to have an excessively gentle horse—a horse with no + spirit whatever—a lame one, if he had such a thing. Inside of five + minutes I was mounted, and perfectly satisfied with my outfit. I had no + time to label him "This is a horse," and so if the public took him for a + sheep I cannot help it. I was satisfied, and that was the main thing. I + could see that he had as many fine points as any man's horse, and so I + hung my hat on one of them, behind the saddle, and swabbed the + perspiration from my face and started. I named him after this island, + "Oahu" (pronounced O-waw-hee). The first gate he came to he started in; I + had neither whip nor spur, and so I simply argued the case with him. He + resisted argument, but ultimately yielded to insult and abuse. He backed + out of that gate and steered for another one on the other side of the + street. I triumphed by my former process. Within the next six hundred + yards he crossed the street fourteen times and attempted thirteen gates, + and in the meantime the tropical sun was beating down and threatening to + cave the top of my head in, and I was literally dripping with + perspiration. He abandoned the gate business after that and went along + peaceably enough, but absorbed in meditation. I noticed this latter + circumstance, and it soon began to fill me with apprehension. I said to my + self, this creature is planning some new outrage, some fresh deviltry or + other—no horse ever thought over a subject so profoundly as this one + is doing just for nothing. The more this thing preyed upon my mind the + more uneasy I became, until the suspense became almost unbearable and I + dismounted to see if there was anything wild in his eye—for I had + heard that the eye of this noblest of our domestic animals is very + expressive. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link461" id="link461"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="461.jpg (86K)" src="images/461.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I cannot describe what a load of anxiety was lifted from my mind when I + found that he was only asleep. I woke him up and started him into a faster + walk, and then the villainy of his nature came out again. He tried to + climb over a stone wall, five or six feet high. I saw that I must apply + force to this horse, and that I might as well begin first as last. I + plucked a stout switch from a tamarind tree, and the moment he saw it, he + surrendered. He broke into a convulsive sort of a canter, which had three + short steps in it and one long one, and reminded me alternately of the + clattering shake of the great earthquake, and the sweeping plunging of the + Ajax in a storm. + </p> + <p> + And now there can be no fitter occasion than the present to pronounce a + left-handed blessing upon the man who invented the American saddle. There + is no seat to speak of about it—one might as well sit in a shovel- + -and the stirrups are nothing but an ornamental nuisance. If I were to + write down here all the abuse I expended on those stirrups, it would make + a large book, even without pictures. Sometimes I got one foot so far + through, that the stirrup partook of the nature of an anklet; sometimes + both feet were through, and I was handcuffed by the legs; and sometimes my + feet got clear out and left the stirrups wildly dangling about my shins. + Even when I was in proper position and carefully balanced upon the balls + of my feet, there was no comfort in it, on account of my nervous dread + that they were going to slip one way or the other in a moment. But the + subject is too exasperating to write about. + </p> + <p> + A mile and a half from town, I came to a grove of tall cocoanut trees, + with clean, branchless stems reaching straight up sixty or seventy feet + and topped with a spray of green foliage sheltering clusters of cocoa- + nuts—not more picturesque than a forest of collossal ragged + parasols, with bunches of magnified grapes under them, would be. + </p> + <p> + I once heard a gouty northern invalid say that a cocoanut tree might be + poetical, possibly it was; but it looked like a feather-duster struck by + lightning. I think that describes it better than a picture—and yet, + without any question, there is something fascinating about a cocoa-nut + tree—and graceful, too. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link462" id="link462"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="462.jpg (29K)" src="images/462.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + About a dozen cottages, some frame and the others of native grass, nestled + sleepily in the shade here and there. The grass cabins are of a grayish + color, are shaped much like our own cottages, only with higher and steeper + roofs usually, and are made of some kind of weed strongly bound together + in bundles. The roofs are very thick, and so are the walls; the latter + have square holes in them for windows. At a little distance these cabins + have a furry appearance, as if they might be made of bear skins. They are + very cool and pleasant inside. The King's flag was flying from the roof of + one of the cottages, and His Majesty was probably within. He owns the + whole concern thereabouts, and passes his time there frequently, on sultry + days "laying off." The spot is called "The King's Grove." + </p> + <p> + Near by is an interesting ruin—the meagre remains of an ancient + heathen temple—a place where human sacrifices were offered up in + those old bygone days when the simple child of nature, yielding + momentarily to sin when sorely tempted, acknowledged his error when calm + reflection had shown it him, and came forward with noble frankness and + offered up his grandmother as an atoning sacrifice—in those old days + when the luckless sinner could keep on cleansing his conscience and + achieving periodical happiness as long as his relations held out; long, + long before the missionaries braved a thousand privations to come and make + them permanently miserable by telling them how beautiful and how blissful + a place heaven is, and how nearly impossible it is to get there; and + showed the poor native how dreary a place perdition is and what + unnecessarily liberal facilities there are for going to it; showed him + how, in his ignorance he had gone and fooled away all his kinfolks to no + purpose; showed him what rapture it is to work all day long for fifty + cents to buy food for next day with, as compared with fishing for pastime + and lolling in the shade through eternal Summer, and eating of the bounty + that nobody labored to provide but Nature. How sad it is to think of the + multitudes who have gone to their graves in this beautiful island and + never knew there was a hell! + </p> + <p> + This ancient temple was built of rough blocks of lava, and was simply a + roofless inclosure a hundred and thirty feet long and seventy wide—nothing + but naked walls, very thick, but not much higher than a man's head. They + will last for ages no doubt, if left unmolested. Its three altars and + other sacred appurtenances have crumbled and passed away years ago. It is + said that in the old times thousands of human beings were slaughtered + here, in the presence of naked and howling savages. If these mute stones + could speak, what tales they could tell, what pictures they could + describe, of fettered victims writhing under the knife; of massed forms + straining forward out of the gloom, with ferocious faces lit up by the + sacrificial fires; of the background of ghostly trees; of the dark pyramid + of Diamond Head standing sentinel over the uncanny scene, and the peaceful + moon looking down upon it through rifts in the cloud-rack! + </p> + <p> + When Kamehameha (pronounced Ka-may-ha-may-ah) the Great—who was a + sort of a Napoleon in military genius and uniform success—invaded + this island of Oahu three quarters of a century ago, and exterminated the + army sent to oppose him, and took full and final possession of the + country, he searched out the dead body of the King of Oahu, and those of + the principal chiefs, and impaled their heads on the walls of this temple. + </p> + <p> + Those were savage times when this old slaughter-house was in its prime. + The King and the chiefs ruled the common herd with a rod of iron; made + them gather all the provisions the masters needed; build all the houses + and temples; stand all the expenses, of whatever kind; take kicks and + cuffs for thanks; drag out lives well flavored with misery, and then + suffer death for trifling offences or yield up their lives on the + sacrificial altars to purchase favors from the gods for their hard rulers. + The missionaries have clothed them, educated them, broken up the tyrannous + authority of their chiefs, and given them freedom and the right to enjoy + whatever their hands and brains produce with equal laws for all, and + punishment for all alike who transgress them. The contrast is so strong—the + benefit conferred upon this people by the missionaries is so prominent, so + palpable and so unquestionable, that the frankest compliment I can pay + them, and the best, is simply to point to the condition of the Sandwich + Islanders of Captain Cook's time, and their condition to-day. + </p> + <p> + Their work speaks for itself. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch65" id="linkch65"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + By and by, after a rugged climb, we halted on the summit of a hill which + commanded a far-reaching view. The moon rose and flooded mountain and + valley and ocean with a mellow radiance, and out of the shadows of the + foliage the distant lights of Honolulu glinted like an encampment of + fireflies. The air was heavy with the fragrance of flowers. The halt was + brief.—Gayly laughing and talking, the party galloped on, and I + clung to the pommel and cantered after. Presently we came to a place where + no grass grew—a wide expanse of deep sand. They said it was an old + battle ground. All around everywhere, not three feet apart, the bleached + bones of men gleamed white in the moonlight. We picked up a lot of them + for mementoes. I got quite a number of arm bones and leg bones—of + great chiefs, may be, who had fought savagely in that fearful battle in + the old days, when blood flowed like wine where we now stood—and + wore the choicest of them out on Oahu afterward, trying to make him go. + All sorts of bones could be found except skulls; but a citizen said, + irreverently, that there had been an unusual number of "skull-hunters" + there lately—a species of sportsmen I had never heard of before. + </p> + <p> + Nothing whatever is known about this place—its story is a secret + that will never be revealed. The oldest natives make no pretense of being + possessed of its history. They say these bones were here when they were + children. They were here when their grandfathers were children—but + how they came here, they can only conjecture. Many people believe this + spot to be an ancient battle-ground, and it is usual to call it so; and + they believe that these skeletons have lain for ages just where their + proprietors fell in the great fight. Other people believe that Kamehameha + I. fought his first battle here. On this point, I have heard a story, + which may have been taken from one of the numerous books which have been + written concerning these islands—I do not know where the narrator + got it. He said that when Kamehameha (who was at first merely a + subordinate chief on the island of Hawaii), landed here, he brought a + large army with him, and encamped at Waikiki. The Oahuans marched against + him, and so confident were they of success that they readily acceded to a + demand of their priests that they should draw a line where these bones now + lie, and take an oath that, if forced to retreat at all, they would never + retreat beyond this boundary. The priests told them that death and + everlasting punishment would overtake any who violated the oath, and the + march was resumed. Kamehameha drove them back step by step; the priests + fought in the front rank and exhorted them both by voice and inspiriting + example to remember their oath—to die, if need be, but never cross + the fatal line. The struggle was manfully maintained, but at last the + chief priest fell, pierced to the heart with a spear, and the unlucky omen + fell like a blight upon the brave souls at his back; with a triumphant + shout the invaders pressed forward—the line was crossed—the + offended gods deserted the despairing army, and, accepting the doom their + perjury had brought upon them, they broke and fled over the plain where + Honolulu stands now—up the beautiful Nuuanu Valley—paused a + moment, hemmed in by precipitous mountains on either hand and the + frightful precipice of the Pari in front, and then were driven over—a + sheer plunge of six hundred feet! + </p> + <p> + The story is pretty enough, but Mr. Jarves' excellent history says the + Oahuans were intrenched in Nuuanu Valley; that Kamehameha ousted them, + routed them, pursued them up the valley and drove them over the precipice. + He makes no mention of our bone-yard at all in his book. + </p> + <p> + Impressed by the profound silence and repose that rested over the + beautiful landscape, and being, as usual, in the rear, I gave voice to my + thoughts. I said: + </p> + <p> + "What a picture is here slumbering in the solemn glory of the moon! How + strong the rugged outlines of the dead volcano stand out against the clear + sky! What a snowy fringe marks the bursting of the surf over the long, + curved reef! How calmly the dim city sleeps yonder in the plain! How soft + the shadows lie upon the stately mountains that border the dream-haunted + Mauoa Valley! What a grand pyramid of billowy clouds towers above the + storied Pari! How the grim warriors of the past seem flocking in ghostly + squadrons to their ancient battlefield again—how the wails of the + dying well up from the—" + </p> + <p> + At this point the horse called Oahu sat down in the sand. Sat down to + listen, I suppose. Never mind what he heard, I stopped apostrophising and + convinced him that I was not a man to allow contempt of Court on the part + of a horse. I broke the back-bone of a Chief over his rump and set out to + join the cavalcade again. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link467" id="link467"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="467.jpg (33K)" src="images/467.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Very considerably fagged out we arrived in town at 9 o'clock at night, + myself in the lead—for when my horse finally came to understand that + he was homeward bound and hadn't far to go, he turned his attention + strictly to business. + </p> + <p> + This is a good time to drop in a paragraph of information. There is no + regular livery stable in Honolulu, or, indeed, in any part of the Kingdom + of Hawaii; therefore unless you are acquainted with wealthy residents (who + all have good horses), you must hire animals of the wretchedest + description from the Kanakas. (i.e. natives.) Any horse you hire, even + though it be from a white man, is not often of much account, because it + will be brought in for you from some ranch, and has necessarily been + leading a hard life. If the Kanakas who have been caring for him + (inveterate riders they are) have not ridden him half to death every day + themselves, you can depend upon it they have been doing the same thing by + proxy, by clandestinely hiring him out. At least, so I am informed. The + result is, that no horse has a chance to eat, drink, rest, recuperate, or + look well or feel well, and so strangers go about the Islands mounted as I + was to-day. + </p> + <p> + In hiring a horse from a Kanaka, you must have all your eyes about you, + because you can rest satisfied that you are dealing with a shrewd + unprincipled rascal. You may leave your door open and your trunk unlocked + as long as you please, and he will not meddle with your property; he has + no important vices and no inclination to commit robbery on a large scale; + but if he can get ahead of you in the horse business, he will take a + genuine delight in doing it. This traits is characteristic of horse + jockeys, the world over, is it not? He will overcharge you if he can; he + will hire you a fine-looking horse at night (anybody's—may be the + King's, if the royal steed be in convenient view), and bring you the mate + to my Oahu in the morning, and contend that it is the same animal. If you + make trouble, he will get out by saying it was not himself who made the + bargain with you, but his brother, "who went out in the country this + morning." They have always got a "brother" to shift the responsibility + upon. A victim said to one of these fellows one day: + </p> + <p> + "But I know I hired the horse of you, because I noticed that scar on your + cheek." + </p> + <p> + The reply was not bad: "Oh, yes—yes—my brother all same—we + twins!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link469" id="link469"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="469.jpg (81K)" src="images/469.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + A friend of mine, J. Smith, hired a horse yesterday, the Kanaka warranting + him to be in excellent condition. + </p> + <p> + Smith had a saddle and blanket of his own, and he ordered the Kanaka to + put these on the horse. The Kanaka protested that he was perfectly willing + to trust the gentleman with the saddle that was already on the animal, but + Smith refused to use it. The change was made; then Smith noticed that the + Kanaka had only changed the saddles, and had left the original blanket on + the horse; he said he forgot to change the blankets, and so, to cut the + bother short, Smith mounted and rode away. The horse went lame a mile from + town, and afterward got to cutting up some extraordinary capers. Smith got + down and took off the saddle, but the blanket stuck fast to the horse—glued + to a procession of raw places. The Kanaka's mysterious conduct stood + explained. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link470" id="link470"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="470.jpg (33K)" src="images/470.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Another friend of mine bought a pretty good horse from a native, a day or + two ago, after a tolerably thorough examination of the animal. He + discovered today that the horse was as blind as a bat, in one eye. He + meant to have examined that eye, and came home with a general notion that + he had done it; but he remembers now that every time he made the attempt + his attention was called to something else by his victimizer. + </p> + <p> + One more instance, and then I will pass to something else. I am informed + that when a certain Mr. L., a visiting stranger, was here, he bought a + pair of very respectable-looking match horses from a native. They were in + a little stable with a partition through the middle of it—one horse + in each apartment. Mr. L. examined one of them critically through a window + (the Kanaka's "brother" having gone to the country with the key), and then + went around the house and examined the other through a window on the other + side. He said it was the neatest match he had ever seen, and paid for the + horses on the spot. Whereupon the Kanaka departed to join his brother in + the country. The fellow had shamefully swindled L. There was only one + "match" horse, and he had examined his starboard side through one window + and his port side through another! I decline to believe this story, but I + give it because it is worth something as a fanciful illustration of a + fixed fact—namely, that the Kanaka horse- jockey is fertile in + invention and elastic in conscience. + </p> + <p> + You can buy a pretty good horse for forty or fifty dollars, and a good + enough horse for all practical purposes for two dollars and a half. I + estimate "Oahu" to be worth somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty-five + cents. A good deal better animal than he is was sold here day before + yesterday for a dollar and seventy-five cents, and sold again to-day for + two dollars and twenty-five cents; Williams bought a handsome and lively + little pony yesterday for ten dollars; and about the best common horse on + the island (and he is a really good one) sold yesterday, with Mexican + saddle and bridle, for seventy dollars—a horse which is well and + widely known, and greatly respected for his speed, good disposition and + everlasting bottom. + </p> + <p> + You give your horse a little grain once a day; it comes from San + Francisco, and is worth about two cents a pound; and you give him as much + hay as he wants; it is cut and brought to the market by natives, and is + not very good it is baled into long, round bundles, about the size of a + large man; one of them is stuck by the middle on each end of a six foot + pole, and the Kanaka shoulders the pole and walks about the streets + between the upright bales in search of customers. These hay bales, thus + carried, have a general resemblance to a colossal capital 'H.' + </p> + <p> + <a name="link471" id="link471"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="471.jpg (59K)" src="images/471.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The hay-bundles cost twenty-five cents apiece, and one will last a horse + about a day. You can get a horse for a song, a week's hay for another + song, and you can turn your animal loose among the luxuriant grass in your + neighbor's broad front yard without a song at all—you do it at + midnight, and stable the beast again before morning. You have been at no + expense thus far, but when you come to buy a saddle and bridle they will + cost you from twenty to thirty-five dollars. You can hire a horse, saddle + and bridle at from seven to ten dollars a week, and the owner will take + care of them at his own expense. + </p> + <p> + It is time to close this day's record—bed time. As I prepare for + sleep, a rich voice rises out of the still night, and, far as this ocean + rock is toward the ends of the earth, I recognize a familiar home air. But + the words seem somewhat out of joint: + </p> + <p> + "Waikiki lantoni oe Kaa hooly hooly wawhoo." + </p> + <p> + Translated, that means "When we were marching through Georgia." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link472" id="link472"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="472.jpg (28K)" src="images/472.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch66" id="linkch66"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Passing through the market place we saw that feature of Honolulu under its + most favorable auspices—that is, in the full glory of Saturday + afternoon, which is a festive day with the natives. The native girls by + twos and threes and parties of a dozen, and sometimes in whole platoons + and companies, went cantering up and down the neighboring streets astride + of fleet but homely horses, and with their gaudy riding habits streaming + like banners behind them. Such a troop of free and easy riders, in their + natural home, the saddle, makes a gay and graceful spectacle. The riding + habit I speak of is simply a long, broad scarf, like a tavern table cloth + brilliantly colored, wrapped around the loins once, then apparently passed + between the limbs and each end thrown backward over the same, and floating + and flapping behind on both sides beyond the horse's tail like a couple of + fancy flags; then, slipping the stirrup-irons between her toes, the girl + throws her chest forward, sits up like a Major General and goes sweeping + by like the wind. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link474" id="link474"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="474.jpg (88K)" src="images/474.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The girls put on all the finery they can on Saturday afternoon—fine + black silk robes; flowing red ones that nearly put your eyes out; others + as white as snow; still others that discount the rainbow; and they wear + their hair in nets, and trim their jaunty hats with fresh flowers, and + encircle their dusky throats with home-made necklaces of the brilliant + vermillion-tinted blossom of the ohia; and they fill the markets and the + adjacent street with their bright presences, and smell like a rag factory + on fire with their offensive cocoanut oil. + </p> + <p> + Occasionally you see a heathen from the sunny isles away down in the South + Seas, with his face and neck tatooed till he looks like the customary + mendicant from Washoe who has been blown up in a mine. Some are tattooed a + dead blue color down to the upper lip—masked, as it were—leaving + the natural light yellow skin of Micronesia unstained from thence down; + some with broad marks drawn down from hair to neck, on both sides of the + face, and a strip of the original yellow skin, two inches wide, down the + center—a gridiron with a spoke broken out; and some with the entire + face discolored with the popular mortification tint, relieved only by one + or two thin, wavy threads of natural yellow running across the face from + ear to ear, and eyes twinkling out of this darkness, from under shadowing + hat-brims, like stars in the dark of the moon. + </p> + <p> + Moving among the stirring crowds, you come to the poi merchants, squatting + in the shade on their hams, in true native fashion, and surrounded by + purchasers. (The Sandwich Islanders always squat on their hams, and who + knows but they may be the old original "ham sandwiches?" The thought is + pregnant with interest.) The poi looks like common flour paste, and is + kept in large bowls formed of a species of gourd, and capable of holding + from one to three or four gallons. Poi is the chief article of food among + the natives, and is prepared from the taro plant. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link475" id="link475"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="475.jpg (33K)" src="images/475.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The taro root looks like a thick, or, if you please, a corpulent sweet + potato, in shape, but is of a light purple color when boiled. When boiled + it answers as a passable substitute for bread. The buck Kanakas bake it + under ground, then mash it up well with a heavy lava pestle, mix water + with it until it becomes a paste, set it aside and let if ferment, and + then it is poi—and an unseductive mixture it is, almost tasteless + before it ferments and too sour for a luxury afterward. But nothing is + more nutritious. When solely used, however, it produces acrid humors, a + fact which sufficiently accounts for the humorous character of the + Kanakas. I think there must be as much of a knack in handling poi as there + is in eating with chopsticks. The forefinger is thrust into the mess and + stirred quickly round several times and drawn as quickly out, thickly + coated, just as it it were poulticed; the head is thrown back, the finger + inserted in the mouth and the delicacy stripped off and swallowed—the + eye closing gently, meanwhile, in a languid sort of ecstasy. Many a + different finger goes into the same bowl and many a different kind of dirt + and shade and quality of flavor is added to the virtues of its contents. + </p> + <p> + Around a small shanty was collected a crowd of natives buying the awa + root. It is said that but for the use of this root the destruction of the + people in former times by certain imported diseases would have been far + greater than it was, and by others it is said that this is merely a fancy. + All agree that poi will rejuvenate a man who is used up and his vitality + almost annihilated by hard drinking, and that in some kinds of diseases it + will restore health after all medicines have failed; but all are not + willing to allow to the awa the virtues claimed for it. The natives + manufacture an intoxicating drink from it which is fearful in its effects + when persistently indulged in. It covers the body with dry, white scales, + inflames the eyes, and causes premature decripitude. Although the man + before whose establishment we stopped has to pay a Government license of + eight hundred dollars a year for the exclusive right to sell awa root, it + is said that he makes a small fortune every twelve-month; while saloon + keepers, who pay a thousand dollars a year for the privilege of retailing + whiskey, etc., only make a bare living. + </p> + <p> + We found the fish market crowded; for the native is very fond of fish, and + eats the article raw and alive! Let us change the subject. + </p> + <p> + In old times here Saturday was a grand gala day indeed. All the native + population of the town forsook their labors, and those of the surrounding + country journeyed to the city. Then the white folks had to stay indoors, + for every street was so packed with charging cavaliers and cavalieresses + that it was next to impossible to thread one's way through the cavalcades + without getting crippled. + </p> + <p> + At night they feasted and the girls danced the lascivious hula hula—a + dance that is said to exhibit the very perfection of educated notion of + limb and arm, hand, head and body, and the exactest uniformity of movement + and accuracy of "time." It was performed by a circle of girls with no + raiment on them to speak of, who went through an infinite variety of + motions and figures without prompting, and yet so true was their "time," + and in such perfect concert did they move that when they were placed in a + straight line, hands, arms, bodies, limbs and heads waved, swayed, + gesticulated, bowed, stooped, whirled, squirmed, twisted and undulated as + if they were part and parcel of a single individual; and it was difficult + to believe they were not moved in a body by some exquisite piece of + mechanism. + </p> + <p> + Of late years, however, Saturday has lost most of its quondam gala + features. This weekly stampede of the natives interfered too much with + labor and the interests of the white folks, and by sticking in a law here, + and preaching a sermon there, and by various other means, they gradually + broke it up. The demoralizing hula hula was forbidden to be performed, + save at night, with closed doors, in presence of few spectators, and only + by permission duly procured from the authorities and the payment of ten + dollars for the same. There are few girls now-a-days able to dance this + ancient national dance in the highest perfection of the art. + </p> + <p> + The missionaries have christianized and educated all the natives. They all + belong to the Church, and there is not one of them, above the age of eight + years, but can read and write with facility in the native tongue. It is + the most universally educated race of people outside of China. They have + any quantity of books, printed in the Kanaka language, and all the natives + are fond of reading. They are inveterate church-goers—nothing can + keep them away. All this ameliorating cultivation has at last built up in + the native women a profound respect for chastity—in other people. + Perhaps that is enough to say on that head. The national sin will die out + when the race does, but perhaps not earlier.—But doubtless this + purifying is not far off, when we reflect that contact with civilization + and the whites has reduced the native population from four hundred + thousand (Captain Cook's estimate,) to fifty-five thousand in something + over eighty years! + </p> + <p> + Society is a queer medley in this notable missionary, whaling and + governmental centre. If you get into conversation with a stranger and + experience that natural desire to know what sort of ground you are + treading on by finding out what manner of man your stranger is, strike out + boldly and address him as "Captain." Watch him narrowly, and if you see by + his countenance that you are on the wrong tack, ask him where he preaches. + It is a safe bet that he is either a missionary or captain of a whaler. I + am now personally acquainted with seventy-two captains and ninety-six + missionaries. The captains and ministers form one-half of the population; + the third fourth is composed of common Kanakas and mercantile foreigners + and their families, and the final fourth is made up of high officers of + the Hawaiian Government. And there are just about cats enough for three + apiece all around. + </p> + <p> + A solemn stranger met me in the suburbs the other day, and said: + </p> + <p> + "Good morning, your reverence. Preach in the stone church yonder, no + doubt?" + </p> + <p> + "No, I don't. I'm not a preacher." + </p> + <p> + "Really, I beg your pardon, Captain. I trust you had a good season. How + much oil"— + </p> + <p> + "Oil? What do you take me for? I'm not a whaler." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, I beg a thousand pardons, your Excellency. + </p> + <p> + "Major General in the household troops, no doubt? Minister of the + Interior, likely? Secretary of war? First Gentleman of the Bed-chamber? + Commissioner of the Royal"— + </p> + <p> + "Stuff! I'm no official. I'm not connected in any way with the + Government." + </p> + <p> + "Bless my life! Then, who the mischief are you? what the mischief are you? + and how the mischief did you get here, and where in thunder did you come + from?" + </p> + <p> + "I'm only a private personage—an unassuming stranger—lately + arrived from America." + </p> + <p> + "No? Not a missionary! Not a whaler! not a member of his Majesty's + Government! not even Secretary of the Navy! Ah, Heaven! it is too blissful + to be true; alas, I do but dream. And yet that noble, honest countenance—those + oblique, ingenuous eyes—that massive head, incapable of—of—anything; + your hand; give me your hand, bright waif. Excuse these tears. For sixteen + weary years I have yearned for a moment like this, and"— + </p> + <p> + <a name="link478" id="link478"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="478.jpg (67K)" src="images/478.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Here his feelings were too much for him, and he swooned away. I pitied + this poor creature from the bottom of my heart. I was deeply moved. I shed + a few tears on him and kissed him for his mother. I then took what small + change he had and "shoved". + </p> + <p> + <a name="link479" id="link479"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="479.jpg (31K)" src="images/479.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch67" id="linkch67"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I still quote from my journal: + </p> + <p> + I found the national Legislature to consist of half a dozen white men and + some thirty or forty natives. It was a dark assemblage. The nobles and + Ministers (about a dozen of them altogether) occupied the extreme left of + the hall, with David Kalakaua (the King's Chamberlain) and Prince William + at the head. The President of the Assembly, His Royal Highness M. + Kekuanaoa, [Kekuanaoa is not of the blood royal. He derives his princely + rank from his wife, who was a daughter of Kamehameha the Great. Under + other monarchies the male line takes precedence of the female in tracing + genealogies, but here the opposite is the case—the female line takes + precedence. Their reason for this is exceedingly sensible, and I recommend + it to the aristocracy of Europe: They say it is easy to know who a man's + mother was, but, etc., etc.] and the Vice President (the latter a white + man,) sat in the pulpit, if I may so term it. The President is the King's + father. He is an erect, strongly built, massive featured, white-haired, + tawny old gentleman of eighty years of age or thereabouts. He was simply + but well dressed, in a blue cloth coat and white vest, and white + pantaloons, without spot, dust or blemish upon them. He bears himself with + a calm, stately dignity, and is a man of noble presence. He was a young + man and a distinguished warrior under that terrific fighter, Kamehameha + I., more than half a century ago. A knowledge of his career suggested some + such thought as this: "This man, naked as the day he was born, and + war-club and spear in hand, has charged at the head of a horde of savages + against other hordes of savages more than a generation and a half ago, and + reveled in slaughter and carnage; has worshipped wooden images on his + devout knees; has seen hundreds of his race offered up in heathen temples + as sacrifices to wooden idols, at a time when no missionary's foot had + ever pressed this soil, and he had never heard of the white man's God; has + believed his enemy could secretly pray him to death; has seen the day, in + his childhood, when it was a crime punishable by death for a man to eat + with his wife, or for a plebeian to let his shadow fall upon the King—and + now look at him; an educated Christian; neatly and handsomely dressed; a + high-minded, elegant gentleman; a traveler, in some degree, and one who + has been the honored guest of royalty in Europe; a man practiced in + holding the reins of an enlightened government, and well versed in the + politics of his country and in general, practical information. Look at + him, sitting there presiding over the deliberations of a legislative body, + among whom are white men—a grave, dignified, statesmanlike + personage, and as seemingly natural and fitted to the place as if he had + been born in it and had never been out of it in his life time. How the + experiences of this old man's eventful life shame the cheap inventions of + romance!" + </p> + <p> + The christianizing of the natives has hardly even weakened some of their + barbarian superstitions, much less destroyed them. I have just referred to + one of these. It is still a popular belief that if your enemy can get hold + of any article belonging to you he can get down on his knees over it and + pray you to death. Therefore many a native gives up and dies merely + because he imagines that some enemy is putting him through a course of + damaging prayer. This praying an individual to death seems absurd enough + at a first glance, but then when we call to mind some of the pulpit + efforts of certain of our own ministers the thing looks plausible. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link482" id="link482"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="482.jpg (33K)" src="images/482.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + In former times, among the Islanders, not only a plurality of wives was + customary, but a plurality of husbands likewise. Some native women of + noble rank had as many as six husbands. A woman thus supplied did not + reside with all her husbands at once, but lived several months with each + in turn. An understood sign hung at her door during these months. When the + sign was taken down, it meant "NEXT." + </p> + <p> + In those days woman was rigidly taught to "know her place." Her place was + to do all the work, take all the cuffs, provide all the food, and content + herself with what was left after her lord had finished his dinner. She was + not only forbidden, by ancient law, and under penalty of death, to eat + with her husband or enter a canoe, but was debarred, under the same + penalty, from eating bananas, pine-apples, oranges and other choice fruits + at any time or in any place. She had to confine herself pretty strictly to + "poi" and hard work. These poor ignorant heathen seem to have had a sort + of groping idea of what came of woman eating fruit in the garden of Eden, + and they did not choose to take any more chances. But the missionaries + broke up this satisfactory arrangement of things. They liberated woman and + made her the equal of man. + </p> + <p> + The natives had a romantic fashion of burying some of their children alive + when the family became larger than necessary. The missionaries interfered + in this matter too, and stopped it. + </p> + <p> + To this day the natives are able to lie down and die whenever they want + to, whether there is anything the matter with them or not. If a Kanaka + takes a notion to die, that is the end of him; nobody can persuade him to + hold on; all the doctors in the world could not save him. + </p> + <p> + A luxury which they enjoy more than anything else, is a large funeral. If + a person wants to get rid of a troublesome native, it is only necessary to + promise him a fine funeral and name the hour and he will be on hand to the + minute—at least his remains will. + </p> + <p> + All the natives are Christians, now, but many of them still desert to the + Great Shark God for temporary succor in time of trouble. An irruption of + the great volcano of Kilauea, or an earthquake, always brings a deal of + latent loyalty to the Great Shark God to the surface. It is common report + that the King, educated, cultivated and refined Christian gentleman as he + undoubtedly is, still turns to the idols of his fathers for help when + disaster threatens. A planter caught a shark, and one of his christianized + natives testified his emancipation from the thrall of ancient superstition + by assisting to dissect the shark after a fashion forbidden by his + abandoned creed. But remorse shortly began to torture him. He grew moody + and sought solitude; brooded over his sin, refused food, and finally said + he must die and ought to die, for he had sinned against the Great Shark + God and could never know peace any more. He was proof against persuasion + and ridicule, and in the course of a day or two took to his bed and died, + although he showed no symptom of disease. His young daughter followed his + lead and suffered a like fate within the week. Superstition is ingrained + in the native blood and bone and it is only natural that it should crop + out in time of distress. Wherever one goes in the Islands, he will find + small piles of stones by the wayside, covered with leafy offerings, placed + there by the natives to appease evil spirits or honor local deities + belonging to the mythology of former days. + </p> + <p> + In the rural districts of any of the Islands, the traveler hourly comes + upon parties of dusky maidens bathing in the streams or in the sea without + any clothing on and exhibiting no very intemperate zeal in the matter of + hiding their nakedness. When the missionaries first took up their + residence in Honolulu, the native women would pay their families frequent + friendly visits, day by day, not even clothed with a blush. It was found a + hard matter to convince them that this was rather indelicate. Finally the + missionaries provided them with long, loose calico robes, and that ended + the difficulty—for the women would troop through the town, stark + naked, with their robes folded under their arms, march to the missionary + houses and then proceed to dress!— + </p> + <p> + <a name="link484" id="link484"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="484.jpg (63K)" src="images/484.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The natives soon manifested a strong proclivity for clothing, but it was + shortly apparent that they only wanted it for grandeur. The missionaries + imported a quantity of hats, bonnets, and other male and female wearing + apparel, instituted a general distribution, and begged the people not to + come to church naked, next Sunday, as usual. And they did not; but the + national spirit of unselfishness led them to divide up with neighbors who + were not at the distribution, and next Sabbath the poor preachers could + hardly keep countenance before their vast congregations. In the midst of + the reading of a hymn a brown, stately dame would sweep up the aisle with + a world of airs, with nothing in the world on but a "stovepipe" hat and a + pair of cheap gloves; another dame would follow, tricked out in a man's + shirt, and nothing else; another one would enter with a flourish, with + simply the sleeves of a bright calico dress tied around her waist and the + rest of the garment dragging behind like a peacock's tail off duty; a + stately "buck" Kanaka would stalk in with a woman's bonnet on, wrong side + before—only this, and nothing more; after him would stride his + fellow, with the legs of a pair of pantaloons tied around his neck, the + rest of his person untrammeled; in his rear would come another gentleman + simply gotten up in a fiery neck-tie and a striped vest. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link485" id="link485"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="485.jpg (90K)" src="images/485.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The poor creatures were beaming with complacency and wholly unconscious of + any absurdity in their appearance. They gazed at each other with happy + admiration, and it was plain to see that the young girls were taking note + of what each other had on, as naturally as if they had always lived in a + land of Bibles and knew what churches were made for; here was the evidence + of a dawning civilization. The spectacle which the congregation presented + was so extraordinary and withal so moving, that the missionaries found it + difficult to keep to the text and go on with the services; and by and by + when the simple children of the sun began a general swapping of garments + in open meeting and produced some irresistibly grotesque effects in the + course of re-dressing, there was nothing for it but to cut the thing short + with the benediction and dismiss the fantastic assemblage. + </p> + <p> + In our country, children play "keep house;" and in the same high-sounding + but miniature way the grown folk here, with the poor little material of + slender territory and meagre population, play "empire." There is his royal + Majesty the King, with a New York detective's income of thirty or + thirty-five thousand dollars a year from the "royal civil list" and the + "royal domain." He lives in a two-story frame "palace." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link486" id="link486"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="486.jpg (35K)" src="images/486.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And there is the "royal family"—the customary hive of royal + brothers, sisters, cousins and other noble drones and vagrants usual to + monarchy,—all with a spoon in the national pap-dish, and all bearing + such titles as his or her Royal Highness the Prince or Princess So-and-so. + Few of them can carry their royal splendors far enough to ride in + carriages, however; they sport the economical Kanaka horse or "hoof it" + with the plebeians. + </p> + <p> + Then there is his Excellency the "royal Chamberlain"—a sinecure, for + his majesty dresses himself with his own hands, except when he is + ruralizing at Waikiki and then he requires no dressing. + </p> + <p> + Next we have his Excellency the Commander-in-chief of the Household + Troops, whose forces consist of about the number of soldiers usually + placed under a corporal in other lands. + </p> + <p> + Next comes the royal Steward and the Grand Equerry in Waiting—high + dignitaries with modest salaries and little to do. + </p> + <p> + Then we have his Excellency the First Gentleman of the Bed-chamber—an + office as easy as it is magnificent. + </p> + <p> + Next we come to his Excellency the Prime Minister, a renegade American + from New Hampshire, all jaw, vanity, bombast and ignorance, a lawyer of + "shyster" calibre, a fraud by nature, a humble worshipper of the sceptre + above him, a reptile never tired of sneering at the land of his birth or + glorifying the ten-acre kingdom that has adopted him—salary, $4,000 + a year, vast consequence, and no perquisites. + </p> + <p> + Then we have his Excellency the Imperial Minister of Finance, who handles + a million dollars of public money a year, sends in his annual "budget" + with great ceremony, talks prodigiously of "finance," suggests imposing + schemes for paying off the "national debt" (of $150,000,) and does it all + for $4,000 a year and unimaginable glory. + </p> + <p> + Next we have his Excellency the Minister of War, who holds sway over the + royal armies—they consist of two hundred and thirty uniformed + Kanakas, mostly Brigadier Generals, and if the country ever gets into + trouble with a foreign power we shall probably hear from them. I knew an + American whose copper-plate visiting card bore this impressive legend: + "Lieutenant-Colonel in the Royal Infantry." To say that he was proud of + this distinction is stating it but tamely. The Minister of War has also in + his charge some venerable swivels on Punch-Bowl Hill wherewith royal + salutes are fired when foreign vessels of war enter the port. + </p> + <p> + Next comes his Excellency the Minister of the Navy—a nabob who rules + the "royal fleet," (a steam-tug and a sixty-ton schooner.) + </p> + <p> + And next comes his Grace the Lord Bishop of Honolulu, the chief dignitary + of the "Established Church"—for when the American Presbyterian + missionaries had completed the reduction of the nation to a compact + condition of Christianity, native royalty stepped in and erected the grand + dignity of an "Established (Episcopal) Church" over it, and imported a + cheap ready-made Bishop from England to take charge. The chagrin of the + missionaries has never been comprehensively expressed, to this day, + profanity not being admissible. + </p> + <p> + Next comes his Excellency the Minister of Public Instruction. + </p> + <p> + Next, their Excellencies the Governors of Oahu, Hawaii, etc., and after + them a string of High Sheriffs and other small fry too numerous for + computation. + </p> + <p> + Then there are their Excellencies the Envoy Extraordinary and Minister + Plenipotentiary of his Imperial Majesty the Emperor of the French; her + British Majesty's Minister; the Minister Resident, of the United States; + and some six or eight representatives of other foreign nations, all with + sounding titles, imposing dignity and prodigious but economical state. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link488" id="link488"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="488.jpg (94K)" src="images/488.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Imagine all this grandeur in a play-house "kingdom" whose population falls + absolutely short of sixty thousand souls! + </p> + <p> + The people are so accustomed to nine-jointed titles and colossal magnates + that a foreign prince makes very little more stir in Honolulu than a + Western Congressman does in New York. + </p> + <p> + And let it be borne in mind that there is a strictly defined "court + costume" of so "stunning" a nature that it would make the clown in a + circus look tame and commonplace by comparison; and each Hawaiian official + dignitary has a gorgeous vari-colored, gold-laced uniform peculiar to his + office—no two of them are alike, and it is hard to tell which one is + the "loudest." The King had a "drawing-room" at stated intervals, like + other monarchs, and when these varied uniforms congregate there—weak-eyed + people have to contemplate the spectacle through smoked glass. Is there + not a gratifying contrast between this latter-day exhibition and the one + the ancestors of some of these magnates afforded the missionaries the + Sunday after the old-time distribution of clothing? Behold what religion + and civilization have wrought! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link489" id="link489"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="489.jpg (40K)" src="images/489.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch68" id="linkch68"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + While I was in Honolulu I witnessed the ceremonious funeral of the King's + sister, her Royal Highness the Princess Victoria. According to the royal + custom, the remains had lain in state at the palace thirty days, watched + day and night by a guard of honor. And during all that time a great + multitude of natives from the several islands had kept the palace grounds + well crowded and had made the place a pandemonium every night with their + howlings and wailings, beating of tom-toms and dancing of the (at other + times) forbidden "hula-hula" by half-clad maidens to the music of songs of + questionable decency chanted in honor of the deceased. The printed + programme of the funeral procession interested me at the time; and after + what I have just said of Hawaiian grandiloquence in the matter of "playing + empire," I am persuaded that a perusal of it may interest the reader: + </p> + <p> + After reading the long list of dignitaries, etc., and remembering the + sparseness of the population, one is almost inclined to wonder where the + material for that portion of the procession devoted to "Hawaiian + Population Generally" is going to be procured: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link490" id="link490"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="490.jpg (34K)" src="images/490.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="491.jpg (105K)" src="images/491.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Undertaker. Royal School. Kawaiahao School. Roman Catholic School. Maemae + School. Honolulu Fire Department. Mechanics' Benefit Union. Attending + Physicians. Knonohikis (Superintendents) of the Crown Lands, Konohikis of + the Private Lands of His Majesty Konohikis of the Private Lands of Her + late Royal Highness. Governor of Oahu and Staff. Hulumanu (Military + Company). Household Troops. The Prince of Hawaii's Own (Military Company). + The King's household servants. Servants of Her late Royal Highness. + Protestant Clergy. The Clergy of the Roman Catholic Church. His Lordship + Louis Maigret, The Right Rev. Bishop of Arathea, Vicar- Apostolic of the + Hawaiian Islands. The Clergy of the Hawaiian Reformed Catholic Church. His + Lordship the Right Rev. Bishop of Honolulu. Her Majesty Queen Emma's + Carriage. His Majesty's Staff. Carriage of Her late Royal Highness. + Carriage of Her Majesty the Queen Dowager. The King's Chancellor. Cabinet + Ministers. His Excellency the Minister Resident of the United States. H. + B. M's Commissioner. H. B. M's Acting Commissioner. Judges of Supreme + Court. Privy Councillors. Members of Legislative Assembly. Consular Corps. + Circuit Judges. Clerks of Government Departments. Members of the Bar. + Collector General, Custom-house Officers and Officers of the Customs. + Marshal and Sheriffs of the different Islands. King's Yeomanry. Foreign + Residents. Ahahui Kaahumanu. Hawaiian Population Generally. Hawaiian + Cavalry. Police Force. + </p> + <p> + I resume my journal at the point where the procession arrived at the royal + mausoleum: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + As the procession filed through the gate, the military deployed + handsomely to the right and left and formed an avenue through which the + long column of mourners passed to the tomb. The coffin was borne through + the door of the mausoleum, followed by the King and his chiefs, the + great officers of the kingdom, foreign Consuls, Embassadors and + distinguished guests (Burlingame and General Van Valkenburgh). Several + of the kahilis were then fastened to a frame- work in front of the tomb, + there to remain until they decay and fall to pieces, or, forestalling + this, until another scion of royalty dies. At this point of the + proceedings the multitude set up such a heart-broken wailing as I hope + never to hear again. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link492" id="link492"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="492.jpg (90K)" src="images/492.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The soldiers fired three volleys of musketry—the wailing being + previously silenced to permit of the guns being heard. His Highness + Prince William, in a showy military uniform (the "true prince," this—scion + of the house over-thrown by the present dynasty—he was formerly + betrothed to the Princess but was not allowed to marry her), stood guard + and paced back and forth within the door. The privileged few who + followed the coffin into the mausoleum remained sometime, but the King + soon came out and stood in the door and near one side of it. A stranger + could have guessed his rank (although he was so simply and + unpretentiously dressed) by the profound deference paid him by all + persons in his vicinity; by seeing his high officers receive his quiet + orders and suggestions with bowed and uncovered heads; and by observing + how careful those persons who came out of the mausoleum were to avoid + "crowding" him (although there was room enough in the doorway for a + wagon to pass, for that matter); how respectfully they edged out + sideways, scraping their backs against the wall and always presenting a + front view of their persons to his Majesty, and never putting their hats + on until they were well out of the royal presence. + </p> + <p> + He was dressed entirely in black—dress-coat and silk hat—and + looked rather democratic in the midst of the showy uniforms about him. + On his breast he wore a large gold star, which was half hidden by the + lapel of his coat. He remained at the door a half hour, and occasionally + gave an order to the men who were erecting the kahilis [Ranks of + long-handled mops made of gaudy feathers—sacred to royalty. They + are stuck in the ground around the tomb and left there.] before the + tomb. He had the good taste to make one of them substitute black crape + for the ordinary hempen rope he was about to tie one of them to the + frame-work with. Finally he entered his carriage and drove away, and the + populace shortly began to drop into his wake. While he was in view there + was but one man who attracted more attention than himself, and that was + Harris (the Yankee Prime Minister). This feeble personage had crape + enough around his hat to express the grief of an entire nation, and as + usual he neglected no opportunity of making himself conspicuous and + exciting the admiration of the simple Kanakas. Oh! noble ambition of + this modern Richelieu! + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + It is interesting to contrast the funeral ceremonies of the Princess + Victoria with those of her noted ancestor Kamehameha the Conqueror, who + died fifty years ago—in 1819, the year before the first missionaries + came. + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "On the 8th of May, 1819, at the age of sixty-six, he died, as he had + lived, in the faith of his country. It was his misfortune not to have + come in contact with men who could have rightly influenced his religious + aspirations. Judged by his advantages and compared with the most eminent + of his countrymen he may be justly styled not only great, but good. To + this day his memory warms the heart and elevates the national feelings + of Hawaiians. They are proud of their old warrior King; they love his + name; his deeds form their historical age; and an enthusiasm everywhere + prevails, shared even by foreigners who knew his worth, that constitutes + the firmest pillar of the throne of his dynasty. + </p> + <p> + "In lieu of human victims (the custom of that age), a sacrifice of three + hundred dogs attended his obsequies—no mean holocaust when their + national value and the estimation in which they were held are + considered. The bones of Kamehameha, after being kept for a while, were + so carefully concealed that all knowledge of their final resting place + is now lost. There was a proverb current among the common people that + the bones of a cruel King could not be hid; they made fish-hooks and + arrows of them, upon which, in using them, they vented their abhorrence + of his memory in bitter execrations." + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + The account of the circumstances of his death, as written by the native + historians, is full of minute detail, but there is scarcely a line of it + which does not mention or illustrate some by-gone custom of the country. + In this respect it is the most comprehensive document I have yet met with. + I will quote it entire: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "When Kamehameha was dangerously sick, and the priests were unable to + cure him, they said: 'Be of good courage and build a house for the god' + (his own private god or idol), that thou mayest recover.' The chiefs + corroborated this advice of the priests, and a place of worship was + prepared for Kukailimoku, and consecrated in the evening. They proposed + also to the King, with a view to prolong his life, that human victims + should be sacrificed to his deity; upon which the greater part of the + people absconded through fear of death, and concealed themselves in + hiding places till the tabu [Tabu (pronounced tah-boo,) means + prohibition (we have borrowed it,) or sacred. The tabu was sometimes + permanent, sometimes temporary; and the person or thing placed under + tabu was for the time being sacred to the purpose for which it was set + apart. In the above case the victims selected under the tabu would be + sacred to the sacrifice] in which destruction impended, was past. It is + doubtful whether Kamehameha approved of the plan of the chiefs and + priests to sacrifice men, as he was known to say, 'The men are sacred + for the King;' meaning that they were for the service of his successor. + This information was derived from Liholiho, his son. + </p> + <p> + "After this, his sickness increased to such a degree that he had not + strength to turn himself in his bed. When another season, consecrated + for worship at the new temple (heiau) arrived, he said to his son, + Liholiho, 'Go thou and make supplication to thy god; I am not able to + go, and will offer my prayers at home.' When his devotions to his + feathered god, Kukailimoku, were concluded, a certain religiously + disposed individual, who had a bird god, suggested to the King that + through its influence his sickness might be removed. The name of this + god was Pua; its body was made of a bird, now eaten by the Hawaiians, + and called in their language alae. Kamehameha was willing that a trial + should be made, and two houses were constructed to facilitate the + experiment; but while dwelling in them he became so very weak as not to + receive food. After lying there three days, his wives, children and + chiefs, perceiving that he was very low, returned him to his own house. + In the evening he was carried to the eating house, where he took a + little food in his mouth which he did not swallow; also a cup of water. + The chiefs requested him to give them his counsel; but he made no reply, + and was carried back to the dwelling house; but when near midnight—ten + o'clock, perhaps—he was carried again to the place to eat; but, as + before, he merely tasted of what was presented to him. Then Kaikioewa + addressed him thus: 'Here we all are, your younger brethren, your son + Liholiho and your foreigner; impart to us your dying charge, that + Liholiho and Kaahumanu may hear.' Then Kamehameha inquired, 'What do you + say?' Kaikioewa repeated, 'Your counsels for us.' + </p> + <p> + "He then said, 'Move on in my good way and—.' He could proceed no + further. The foreigner, Mr. Young, embraced and kissed him. Hoapili also + embraced him, whispering something in his ear, after which he was taken + back to the house. About twelve he was carried once more to the house + for eating, into which his head entered, while his body was in the + dwelling house immediately adjoining. It should be remarked that this + frequent carrying of a sick chief from one house to another resulted + from the tabu system, then in force. There were at that time six houses + (huts) connected with an establishment—one was for worship, one + for the men to eat in, an eating house for the women, a house to sleep + in, a house in which to manufacture kapa (native cloth) and one where, + at certain intervals, the women might dwell in seclusion. + </p> + <p> + "The sick was once more taken to his house, when he expired; this was at + two o'clock, a circumstance from which Leleiohoku derived his name. As + he breathed his last, Kalaimoku came to the eating house to order those + in it to go out. There were two aged persons thus directed to depart; + one went, the other remained on account of love to the King, by whom he + had formerly been kindly sustained. The children also were sent away. + Then Kalaimoku came to the house, and the chiefs had a consultation. One + of them spoke thus: 'This is my thought—we will eat him raw. [This + sounds suspicious, in view of the fact that all Sandwich Island + historians, white and black, protest that cannibalism never existed in + the islands. However, since they only proposed to "eat him raw" we + "won't count that". But it would certainly have been cannibalism if they + had cooked him.—M. T.] Kaahumanu (one of the dead King's widows) + replied, 'Perhaps his body is not at our disposal; that is more properly + with his successor. Our part in him—his breath—has departed; + his remains will be disposed of by Liholiho.' + </p> + <p> + "After this conversation the body was taken into the consecrated house + for the performance of the proper rites by the priest and the new King. + The name of this ceremony is uko; and when the sacred hog was baked the + priest offered it to the dead body, and it became a god, the King at the + same time repeating the customary prayers. + </p> + <p> + "Then the priest, addressing himself to the King and chiefs, said: 'I + will now make known to you the rules to be observed respecting persons + to be sacrificed on the burial of this body. If you obtain one man + before the corpse is removed, one will be sufficient; but after it + leaves this house four will be required. If delayed until we carry the + corpse to the grave there must be ten; but after it is deposited in the + grave there must be fifteen. To-morrow morning there will be a tabu, + and, if the sacrifice be delayed until that time, forty men must die.' + </p> + <p> + "Then the high priest, Hewahewa, inquired of the chiefs, 'Where shall be + the residence of King Liholiho?' They replied, 'Where, indeed? You, of + all men, ought to know.' Then the priest observed, 'There are two + suitable places; one is Kau, the other is Kohala.' The chiefs preferred + the latter, as it was more thickly inhabited. The priest added, 'These + are proper places for the King's residence; but he must not remain in + Kona, for it is polluted.' This was agreed to. It was now break of day. + As he was being carried to the place of burial the people perceived that + their King was dead, and they wailed. When the corpse was removed from + the house to the tomb, a distance of one chain, the procession was met + by a certain man who was ardently attached to the deceased. He leaped + upon the chiefs who were carrying the King's body; he desired to die + with him on account of his love. The chiefs drove him away. He persisted + in making numerous attempts, which were unavailing. Kalaimoka also had + it in his heart to die with him, but was prevented by Hookio. + </p> + <p> + "The morning following Kamehameha's death, Liholiho and his train + departed for Kohala, according to the suggestions of the priest, to + avoid the defilement occasioned by the dead. At this time if a chief + died the land was polluted, and the heirs sought a residence in another + part of the country until the corpse was dissected and the bones tied in + a bundle, which being done, the season of defilement terminated. If the + deceased were not a chief, the house only was defiled which became pure + again on the burial of the body. Such were the laws on this subject. + </p> + <p> + "On the morning on which Liholiho sailed in his canoe for Kohala, the + chiefs and people mourned after their manner on occasion of a chief's + death, conducting themselves like madmen and like beasts. Their conduct + was such as to forbid description; The priests, also, put into action + the sorcery apparatus, that the person who had prayed the King to death + might die; for it was not believed that Kamehameha's departure was the + effect either of sickness or old age. When the sorcerers set up by their + fire-places sticks with a strip of kapa flying at the top, the chief + Keeaumoku, Kaahumaun's brother, came in a state of intoxication and + broke the flag-staff of the sorcerers, from which it was inferred that + Kaahumanu and her friends had been instrumental in the King's death. On + this account they were subjected to abuse." + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + You have the contrast, now, and a strange one it is. This great Queen, + Kaahumanu, who was "subjected to abuse" during the frightful orgies that + followed the King's death, in accordance with ancient custom, afterward + became a devout Christian and a steadfast and powerful friend of the + missionaries. + </p> + <p> + Dogs were, and still are, reared and fattened for food, by the natives—hence + the reference to their value in one of the above paragraphs. + </p> + <p> + Forty years ago it was the custom in the Islands to suspend all law for a + certain number of days after the death of a royal personage; and then a + saturnalia ensued which one may picture to himself after a fashion, but + not in the full horror of the reality. The people shaved their heads, + knocked out a tooth or two, plucked out an eye sometimes, cut, bruised, + mutilated or burned their flesh, got drunk, burned each other's huts, + maimed or murdered one another according to the caprice of the moment, and + both sexes gave themselves up to brutal and unbridled licentiousness. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link497" id="link497"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="497.jpg (96K)" src="images/497.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And after it all, came a torpor from which the nation slowly emerged + bewildered and dazed, as if from a hideous half-remembered nightmare. They + were not the salt of the earth, those "gentle children of the sun." + </p> + <p> + The natives still keep up an old custom of theirs which cannot be + comforting to an invalid. When they think a sick friend is going to die, a + couple of dozen neighbors surround his hut and keep up a deafening wailing + night and day till he either dies or gets well. No doubt this arrangement + has helped many a subject to a shroud before his appointed time. + </p> + <p> + They surround a hut and wail in the same heart-broken way when its + occupant returns from a journey. This is their dismal idea of a welcome. A + very little of it would go a great way with most of us. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch69" id="linkch69"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + Bound for Hawaii (a hundred and fifty miles distant,) to visit the great + volcano and behold the other notable things which distinguish that island + above the remainder of the group, we sailed from Honolulu on a certain + Saturday afternoon, in the good schooner Boomerang. + </p> + <p> + The Boomerang was about as long as two street cars, and about as wide as + one. She was so small (though she was larger than the majority of the + inter-island coasters) that when I stood on her deck I felt but little + smaller than the Colossus of Rhodes must have felt when he had a man-of- + war under him. I could reach the water when she lay over under a strong + breeze. When the Captain and my comrade (a Mr. Billings), myself and four + other persons were all assembled on the little after portion of the deck + which is sacred to the cabin passengers, it was full—there was not + room for any more quality folks. Another section of the deck, twice as + large as ours, was full of natives of both sexes, with their customary + dogs, mats, blankets, pipes, calabashes of poi, fleas, and other luxuries + and baggage of minor importance. As soon as we set sail the natives all + lay down on the deck as thick as negroes in a slave-pen, and smoked, + conversed, and spit on each other, and were truly sociable. + </p> + <p> + The little low-ceiled cabin below was rather larger than a hearse, and as + dark as a vault. It had two coffins on each side—I mean two bunks. A + small table, capable of accommodating three persons at dinner, stood + against the forward bulkhead, and over it hung the dingiest whale oil + lantern that ever peopled the obscurity of a dungeon with ghostly shapes. + The floor room unoccupied was not extensive. One might swing a cat in it, + perhaps, but not a long cat. The hold forward of the bulkhead had but + little freight in it, and from morning till night a portly old rooster, + with a voice like Baalam's ass, and the same disposition to use it, + strutted up and down in that part of the vessel and crowed. He usually + took dinner at six o'clock, and then, after an hour devoted to meditation, + he mounted a barrel and crowed a good part of the night. He got hoarser + all the time, but he scorned to allow any personal consideration to + interfere with his duty, and kept up his labors in defiance of threatened + diphtheria. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link499" id="link499"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="499.jpg (19K)" src="images/499.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Sleeping was out of the question when he was on watch. He was a source of + genuine aggravation and annoyance. It was worse than useless to shout at + him or apply offensive epithets to him—he only took these things for + applause, and strained himself to make more noise. Occasionally, during + the day, I threw potatoes at him through an aperture in the bulkhead, but + he only dodged and went on crowing. + </p> + <p> + The first night, as I lay in my coffin, idly watching the dim lamp + swinging to the rolling of the ship, and snuffing the nauseous odors of + bilge water, I felt something gallop over me. I turned out promptly. + However, I turned in again when I found it was only a rat. Presently + something galloped over me once more. I knew it was not a rat this time, + and I thought it might be a centipede, because the Captain had killed one + on deck in the afternoon. I turned out. The first glance at the pillow + showed me repulsive sentinel perched upon each end of it—cockroaches + as large as peach leaves—fellows with long, quivering antennae and + fiery, malignant eyes. They were grating their teeth like tobacco worms, + and appeared to be dissatisfied about something. I had often heard that + these reptiles were in the habit of eating off sleeping sailors' toe nails + down to the quick, and I would not get in the bunk any more. I lay down on + the floor. But a rat came and bothered me, and shortly afterward a + procession of cockroaches arrived and camped in my hair. In a few moments + the rooster was crowing with uncommon spirit and a party of fleas were + throwing double somersaults about my person in the wildest disorder, and + taking a bite every time they struck. I was beginning to feel really + annoyed. I got up and put my clothes on and went on deck. + </p> + <p> + The above is not overdrawn; it is a truthful sketch of inter-island + schooner life. There is no such thing as keeping a vessel in elegant + condition, when she carries molasses and Kanakas. + </p> + <p> + It was compensation for my sufferings to come unexpectedly upon so + beautiful a scene as met my eye—to step suddenly out of the + sepulchral gloom of the cabin and stand under the strong light of the moon—in + the centre, as it were, of a glittering sea of liquid silver—to see + the broad sails straining in the gale, the ship heeled over on her side, + the angry foam hissing past her lee bulwarks, and sparkling sheets of + spray dashing high over her bows and raining upon her decks; to brace + myself and hang fast to the first object that presented itself, with hat + jammed down and coat tails whipping in the breeze, and feel that + exhilaration that thrills in one's hair and quivers down his back bone + when he knows that every inch of canvas is drawing and the vessel cleaving + through the waves at her utmost speed. There was no darkness, no dimness, + no obscurity there. All was brightness, every object was vividly defined. + Every prostrate Kanaka; every coil of rope; every calabash of poi; every + puppy; every seam in the flooring; every bolthead; every object; however + minute, showed sharp and distinct in its every outline; and the shadow of + the broad mainsail lay black as a pall upon the deck, leaving Billings's + white upturned face glorified and his body in a total eclipse. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link501" id="link501"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="501.jpg (93K)" src="images/501.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Monday morning we were close to the island of Hawaii. Two of its high + mountains were in view—Mauna Loa and Hualaiai. The latter is an + imposing peak, but being only ten thousand feet high is seldom mentioned + or heard of. Mauna Loa is said to be sixteen thousand feet high. The rays + of glittering snow and ice, that clasped its summit like a claw, looked + refreshing when viewed from the blistering climate we were in. One could + stand on that mountain (wrapped up in blankets and furs to keep warm), and + while he nibbled a snowball or an icicle to quench his thirst he could + look down the long sweep of its sides and see spots where plants are + growing that grow only where the bitter cold of Winter prevails; lower + down he could see sections devoted to production that thrive in the + temperate zone alone; and at the bottom of the mountain he could see the + home of the tufted cocoa-palms and other species of vegetation that grow + only in the sultry atmosphere of eternal Summer. He could see all the + climes of the world at a single glance of the eye, and that glance would + only pass over a distance of four or five miles as the bird flies! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link502" id="link502"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="502.jpg (162K)" src="images/502.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + By and by we took boat and went ashore at Kailua, designing to ride + horseback through the pleasant orange and coffee region of Kona, and + rejoin the vessel at a point some leagues distant. This journey is well + worth taking. The trail passes along on high ground—say a thousand + feet above sea level—and usually about a mile distant from the + ocean, which is always in sight, save that occasionally you find yourself + buried in the forest in the midst of a rank tropical vegetation and a + dense growth of trees, whose great bows overarch the road and shut out sun + and sea and everything, and leave you in a dim, shady tunnel, haunted with + invisible singing birds and fragrant with the odor of flowers. It was + pleasant to ride occasionally in the warm sun, and feast the eye upon the + ever- changing panorama of the forest (beyond and below us), with its many + tints, its softened lights and shadows, its billowy undulations sweeping + gently down from the mountain to the sea. It was pleasant also, at + intervals, to leave the sultry sun and pass into the cool, green depths of + this forest and indulge in sentimental reflections under the inspiration + of its brooding twilight and its whispering foliage. We rode through one + orange grove that had ten thousand tree in it! They were all laden with + fruit. + </p> + <p> + At one farmhouse we got some large peaches of excellent flavor. This + fruit, as a general thing, does not do well in the Sandwich Islands. It + takes a sort of almond shape, and is small and bitter. It needs frost, + they say, and perhaps it does; if this be so, it will have a good + opportunity to go on needing it, as it will not be likely to get it. The + trees from which the fine fruit I have spoken of, came, had been planted + and replanted sixteen times, and to this treatment the proprietor of the + orchard attributed his-success. + </p> + <p> + We passed several sugar plantations—new ones and not very extensive. + The crops were, in most cases, third rattoons. [NOTE.—The first crop + is called "plant cane;" subsequent crops which spring from the original + roots, without replanting, are called "rattoons."] Almost everywhere on + the island of Hawaii sugar-cane matures in twelve months, both rattoons + and plant, and although it ought to be taken off as soon as it tassels, no + doubt, it is not absolutely necessary to do it until about four months + afterward. In Kona, the average yield of an acre of ground is two tons of + sugar, they say. This is only a moderate yield for these islands, but + would be astounding for Louisiana and most other sugar growing countries. + The plantations in Kona being on pretty high ground—up among the + light and frequent rains—no irrigation whatever is required. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link503" id="link503"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="503.jpg (55K)" src="images/503.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch70" id="linkch70"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We stopped some time at one of the plantations, to rest ourselves and + refresh the horses. We had a chatty conversation with several gentlemen + present; but there was one person, a middle aged man, with an absent look + in his face, who simply glanced up, gave us good-day and lapsed again into + the meditations which our coming had interrupted. The planters whispered + us not to mind him—crazy. They said he was in the Islands for his + health; was a preacher; his home, Michigan. They said that if he woke up + presently and fell to talking about a correspondence which he had some + time held with Mr. Greeley about a trifle of some kind, we must humor him + and listen with interest; and we must humor his fancy that this + correspondence was the talk of the world. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link505" id="link505"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="505.jpg (46K)" src="images/505.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It was easy to see that he was a gentle creature and that his madness had + nothing vicious in it. He looked pale, and a little worn, as if with + perplexing thought and anxiety of mind. He sat a long time, looking at the + floor, and at intervals muttering to himself and nodding his head + acquiescingly or shaking it in mild protest. He was lost in his thought, + or in his memories. We continued our talk with the planters, branching + from subject to subject. But at last the word "circumstance," casually + dropped, in the course of conversation, attracted his attention and + brought an eager look into his countenance. He faced about in his chair + and said: + </p> + <p> + "Circumstance? What circumstance? Ah, I know—I know too well. So you + have heard of it too." [With a sigh.] "Well, no matter—all the world + has heard of it. All the world. The whole world. It is a large world, too, + for a thing to travel so far in—now isn't it? Yes, yes—the + Greeley correspondence with Erickson has created the saddest and bitterest + controversy on both sides of the ocean—and still they keep it up! It + makes us famous, but at what a sorrowful sacrifice! I was so sorry when I + heard that it had caused that bloody and distressful war over there in + Italy. It was little comfort to me, after so much bloodshed, to know that + the victors sided with me, and the vanquished with Greeley.—It is + little comfort to know that Horace Greeley is responsible for the battle + of Sadowa, and not me. + </p> + <p> + "Queen Victoria wrote me that she felt just as I did about it—she + said that as much as she was opposed to Greeley and the spirit he showed + in the correspondence with me, she would not have had Sadowa happen for + hundreds of dollars. I can show you her letter, if you would like to see + it. But gentlemen, much as you may think you know about that unhappy + correspondence, you cannot know the straight of it till you hear it from + my lips. It has always been garbled in the journals, and even in history. + Yes, even in history—think of it! Let me—please let me, give + you the matter, exactly as it occurred. I truly will not abuse your + confidence." + </p> + <p> + Then he leaned forward, all interest, all earnestness, and told his story—and + told it appealingly, too, and yet in the simplest and most unpretentious + way; indeed, in such a way as to suggest to one, all the time, that this + was a faithful, honorable witness, giving evidence in the sacred interest + of justice, and under oath. He said: + </p> + <p> + "Mrs. Beazeley—Mrs. Jackson Beazeley, widow, of the village of + Campbellton, Kansas,—wrote me about a matter which was near her + heart—a matter which many might think trivial, but to her it was a + thing of deep concern. I was living in Michigan, then—serving in the + ministry. She was, and is, an estimable woman—a woman to whom + poverty and hardship have proven incentives to industry, in place of + discouragements. Her only treasure was her son William, a youth just + verging upon manhood; religious, amiable, and sincerely attached to + agriculture. He was the widow's comfort and her pride. And so, moved by + her love for him, she wrote me about a matter, as I have said before, + which lay near her heart—because it lay near her boy's. She desired + me to confer with Mr. Greeley about turnips. Turnips were the dream of her + child's young ambition. While other youths were frittering away in + frivolous amusements the precious years of budding vigor which God had + given them for useful preparation, this boy was patiently enriching his + mind with information concerning turnips. The sentiment which he felt + toward the turnip was akin to adoration. He could not think of the turnip + without emotion; he could not speak of it calmly; he could not contemplate + it without exaltation. He could not eat it without shedding tears. All the + poetry in his sensitive nature was in sympathy with the gracious + vegetable. With the earliest pipe of dawn he sought his patch, and when + the curtaining night drove him from it he shut himself up with his books + and garnered statistics till sleep overcame him. On rainy days he sat and + talked hours together with his mother about turnips. When company came, he + made it his loving duty to put aside everything else and converse with + them all the day long of his great joy in the turnip. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link507" id="link507"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="507.jpg (67K)" src="images/507.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "And yet, was this joy rounded and complete? Was there no secret alloy of + unhappiness in it? Alas, there was. There was a canker gnawing at his + heart; the noblest inspiration of his soul eluded his endeavor—viz: + he could not make of the turnip a climbing vine. Months went by; the bloom + forsook his cheek, the fire faded out of his eye; sighings and abstraction + usurped the place of smiles and cheerful converse. But a watchful eye + noted these things and in time a motherly sympathy unsealed the secret. + Hence the letter to me. She pleaded for attention—she said her boy + was dying by inches. + </p> + <p> + "I was a stranger to Mr. Greeley, but what of that? The matter was urgent. + I wrote and begged him to solve the difficult problem if possible and save + the student's life. My interest grew, until it partook of the anxiety of + the mother. I waited in much suspense.—At last the answer came. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link509" id="link509"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="509.jpg (127K)" src="images/509.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "I found that I could not read it readily, the handwriting being + unfamiliar and my emotions somewhat wrought up. It seemed to refer in part + to the boy's case, but chiefly to other and irrelevant matters—such + as paving-stones, electricity, oysters, and something which I took to be + 'absolution' or 'agrarianism,' I could not be certain which; still, these + appeared to be simply casual mentions, nothing more; friendly in spirit, + without doubt, but lacking the connection or coherence necessary to make + them useful.—I judged that my understanding was affected by my + feelings, and so laid the letter away till morning. + </p> + <p> + "In the morning I read it again, but with difficulty and uncertainty + still, for I had lost some little rest and my mental vision seemed + clouded. The note was more connected, now, but did not meet the emergency + it was expected to meet. It was too discursive. It appeared to read as + follows, though I was not certain of some of the words: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Polygamy dissembles majesty; extracts redeem polarity; causes hitherto + exist. Ovations pursue wisdom, or warts inherit and condemn. Boston, + botany, cakes, folony undertakes, but who shall allay? We fear not. + Yrxwly, HEVACE EVEELOJ.' + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + "But there did not seem to be a word about turnips. There seemed to be no + suggestion as to how they might be made to grow like vines. There was not + even a reference to the Beazeleys. I slept upon the matter; I ate no + supper, neither any breakfast next morning. So I resumed my work with a + brain refreshed, and was very hopeful. Now the letter took a different + aspect-all save the signature, which latter I judged to be only a harmless + affectation of Hebrew. The epistle was necessarily from Mr. Greeley, for + it bore the printed heading of The Tribune, and I had written to no one + else there. The letter, I say, had taken a different aspect, but still its + language was eccentric and avoided the issue. It now appeared to say: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Bolivia extemporizes mackerel; borax esteems polygamy; sausages wither + in the east. Creation perdu, is done; for woes inherent one can damn. + Buttons, buttons, corks, geology underrates but we shall allay. My + beer's out. Yrxwly, HEVACE EVEELOJ.' + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + "I was evidently overworked. My comprehension was impaired. Therefore I + gave two days to recreation, and then returned to my task greatly + refreshed. The letter now took this form: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Poultices do sometimes choke swine; tulips reduce posterity; causes + leather to resist. Our notions empower wisdom, her let's afford while we + can. Butter but any cakes, fill any undertaker, we'll wean him from his + filly. We feel hot. Yrxwly, HEVACE EVEELOJ.' + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + "I was still not satisfied. These generalities did not meet the question. + They were crisp, and vigorous, and delivered with a confidence that almost + compelled conviction; but at such a time as this, with a human life at + stake, they seemed inappropriate, worldly, and in bad taste. At any other + time I would have been not only glad, but proud, to receive from a man + like Mr. Greeley a letter of this kind, and would have studied it + earnestly and tried to improve myself all I could; but now, with that poor + boy in his far home languishing for relief, I had no heart for learning. + </p> + <p> + "Three days passed by, and I read the note again. Again its tenor had + changed. It now appeared to say: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Potations do sometimes wake wines; turnips restrain passion; causes + necessary to state. Infest the poor widow; her lord's effects will be + void. But dirt, bathing, etc., etc., followed unfairly, will worm him + from his folly—so swear not. Yrxwly, HEVACE EVEELOJ.' + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + "This was more like it. But I was unable to proceed. I was too much worn. + The word 'turnips' brought temporary joy and encouragement, but my + strength was so much impaired, and the delay might be so perilous for the + boy, that I relinquished the idea of pursuing the translation further, and + resolved to do what I ought to have done at first. I sat down and wrote + Mr. Greeley as follows: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + "DEAR SIR: I fear I do not entirely comprehend your kind note. It cannot + be possible, Sir, that 'turnips restrain passion'—at least the + study or contemplation of turnips cannot—for it is this very + employment that has scorched our poor friend's mind and sapped his + bodily strength.—But if they do restrain it, will you bear with us + a little further and explain how they should be prepared? I observe that + you say 'causes necessary to state,' but you have omitted to state them. + </p> + <p> + "Under a misapprehension, you seem to attribute to me interested motives + in this matter—to call it by no harsher term. But I assure you, + dear sir, that if I seem to be 'infesting the widow,' it is all seeming, + and void of reality. It is from no seeking of mine that I am in this + position. She asked me, herself, to write you. I never have infested her—indeed + I scarcely know her. I do not infest anybody. I try to go along, in my + humble way, doing as near right as I can, never harming anybody, and + never throwing out insinuations. As for 'her lord and his effects,' they + are of no interest to me. I trust I have effects enough of my own—shall + endeavor to get along with them, at any rate, and not go mousing around + to get hold of somebody's that are 'void.' But do you not see?—this + woman is a widow—she has no 'lord.' He is dead—or pretended + to be, when they buried him. Therefore, no amount of 'dirt, bathing,' + etc., etc., howsoever 'unfairly followed' will be likely to 'worm him + from his folly'—if being dead and a ghost is 'folly.' Your closing + remark is as unkind as it was uncalled for; and if report says true you + might have applied it to yourself, sir, with more point and less + impropriety. Very Truly Yours, SIMON ERICKSON. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + "In the course of a few days, Mr. Greely did what would have saved a world + of trouble, and much mental and bodily suffering and misunderstanding, if + he had done it sooner. To wit, he sent an intelligible rescript or + translation of his original note, made in a plain hand by his clerk. Then + the mystery cleared, and I saw that his heart had been right, all the + time. I will recite the note in its clarified form: + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + [Translation.] 'Potatoes do sometimes make vines; turnips remain + passive: cause unnecessary to state. Inform the poor widow her lad's + efforts will be vain. But diet, bathing, etc. etc., followed uniformly, + will wean him from his folly—so fear not. Yours, HORACE GREELEY.' + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + "But alas, it was too late, gentlemen—too late. The criminal delay + had done its work—young Beazely was no more. His spirit had taken + its flight to a land where all anxieties shall be charmed away, all + desires gratified, all ambitions realized. Poor lad, they laid him to his + rest with a turnip in each hand." + </p> + <p> + So ended Erickson, and lapsed again into nodding, mumbling, and + abstraction. The company broke up, and left him so.... But they did not + say what drove him crazy. In the momentary confusion, I forgot to ask. + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> <a name="linkch71" id="linkch71"></a> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + At four o'clock in the afternoon we were winding down a mountain of dreary + and desolate lava to the sea, and closing our pleasant land journey. This + lava is the accumulation of ages; one torrent of fire after another has + rolled down here in old times, and built up the island structure higher + and higher. Underneath, it is honey-combed with caves; it would be of no + use to dig wells in such a place; they would not hold water—you + would not find any for them to hold, for that matter. Consequently, the + planters depend upon cisterns. + </p> + <p> + The last lava flow occurred here so long ago that there are none now + living who witnessed it. In one place it enclosed and burned down a grove + of cocoa-nut trees, and the holes in the lava where the trunks stood are + still visible; their sides retain the impression of the bark; the trees + fell upon the burning river, and becoming partly submerged, left in it the + perfect counterpart of every knot and branch and leaf, and even nut, for + curiosity seekers of a long distant day to gaze upon and wonder at. + </p> + <p> + There were doubtless plenty of Kanaka sentinels on guard hereabouts at + that time, but they did not leave casts of their figures in the lava as + the Roman sentinels at Herculaneum and Pompeii did. It is a pity it is so, + because such things are so interesting; but so it is. They probably went + away. They went away early, perhaps. However, they had their merits; the + Romans exhibited the higher pluck, but the Kanakas showed the sounder + judgment. + </p> + <p> + Shortly we came in sight of that spot whose history is so familiar to + every school-boy in the wide world—Kealakekua Bay—the place + where Captain Cook, the great circumnavigator, was killed by the natives, + nearly a hundred years ago. The setting sun was flaming upon it, a Summer + shower was falling, and it was spanned by two magnificent rainbows. Two + men who were in advance of us rode through one of these and for a moment + their garments shone with a more than regal splendor. Why did not Captain + Cook have taste enough to call his great discovery the Rainbow Islands? + These charming spectacles are present to you at every turn; they are + common in all the islands; they are visible every day, and frequently at + night also—not the silvery bow we see once in an age in the States, + by moonlight, but barred with all bright and beautiful colors, like the + children of the sun and rain. I saw one of them a few nights ago. What the + sailors call "raindogs"—little patches of rainbow—are often + seen drifting about the heavens in these latitudes, like stained cathedral + windows. + </p> + <p> + Kealakekua Bay is a little curve like the last kink of a snail-shell, + winding deep into the land, seemingly not more than a mile wide from shore + to shore. It is bounded on one side—where the murder was done—by + a little flat plain, on which stands a cocoanut grove and some ruined + houses; a steep wall of lava, a thousand feet high at the upper end and + three or four hundred at the lower, comes down from the mountain and + bounds the inner extremity of it. From this wall the place takes its name, + Kealakekua, which in the native tongue signifies "The Pathway of the + Gods." They say, (and still believe, in spite of their liberal education + in Christianity), that the great god Lono, who used to live upon the + hillside, always traveled that causeway when urgent business connected + with heavenly affairs called him down to the seashore in a hurry. + </p> + <p> + As the red sun looked across the placid ocean through the tall, clean + stems of the cocoanut trees, like a blooming whiskey bloat through the + bars of a city prison, I went and stood in the edge of the water on the + flat rock pressed by Captain Cook's feet when the blow was dealt which + took away his life, and tried to picture in my mind the doomed man + struggling in the midst of the multitude of exasperated savages—the + men in the ship crowding to the vessel's side and gazing in anxious dismay + toward the shore—the—but I discovered that I could not do it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link514" id="link514"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="514.jpg (93K)" src="images/514.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + It was growing dark, the rain began to fall, we could see that the distant + Boomerang was helplessly becalmed at sea, and so I adjourned to the + cheerless little box of a warehouse and sat down to smoke and think, and + wish the ship would make the land—for we had not eaten much for ten + hours and were viciously hungry. + </p> + <p> + Plain unvarnished history takes the romance out of Captain Cook's + assassination, and renders a deliberate verdict of justifiable homicide. + Wherever he went among the islands, he was cordially received and welcomed + by the inhabitants, and his ships lavishly supplied with all manner of + food. He returned these kindnesses with insult and ill- treatment. + Perceiving that the people took him for the long vanished and lamented god + Lono, he encouraged them in the delusion for the sake of the limitless + power it gave him; but during the famous disturbance at this spot, and + while he and his comrades were surrounded by fifteen thousand maddened + savages, he received a hurt and betrayed his earthly origin with a groan. + It was his death-warrant. Instantly a shout went up: "He groans!—he + is not a god!" So they closed in upon him and dispatched him. + </p> + <p> + His flesh was stripped from the bones and burned (except nine pounds of it + which were sent on board the ships). The heart was hung up in a native + hut, where it was found and eaten by three children, who mistook it for + the heart of a dog. One of these children grew to be a very old man, and + died in Honolulu a few years ago. Some of Cook's bones were recovered and + consigned to the deep by the officers of the ships. + </p> + <p> + Small blame should attach to the natives for the killing of Cook. They + treated him well. In return, he abused them. He and his men inflicted + bodily injury upon many of them at different times, and killed at least + three of them before they offered any proportionate retaliation. + </p> + <p> + Near the shore we found "Cook's Monument"—only a cocoanut stump, + four feet high and about a foot in diameter at the butt. It had lava + boulders piled around its base to hold it up and keep it in its place, and + it was entirely sheathed over, from top to bottom, with rough, discolored + sheets of copper, such as ships' bottoms are coppered with. Each sheet had + a rude inscription scratched upon it—with a nail, apparently—and + in every case the execution was wretched. Most of these merely recorded + the visits of British naval commanders to the spot, but one of them bore + this legend: + </p> + <p> + "Near this spot fell CAPTAIN JAMES COOK, The Distinguished + Circumnavigator, Who Discovered these Islands A. D. 1778." + </p> + <p> + After Cook's murder, his second in command, on board the ship, opened fire + upon the swarms of natives on the beach, and one of his cannon balls cut + this cocoanut tree short off and left this monumental stump standing. It + looked sad and lonely enough to us, out there in the rainy twilight. But + there is no other monument to Captain Cook. True, up on the mountain side + we had passed by a large inclosure like an ample hog-pen, built of lava + blocks, which marks the spot where Cook's flesh was stripped from his + bones and burned; but this is not properly a monument since it was erected + by the natives themselves, and less to do honor to the circumnavigator + than for the sake of convenience in roasting him. A thing like a + guide-board was elevated above this pen on a tall pole, and formerly there + was an inscription upon it describing the memorable occurrence that had + there taken place; but the sun and the wind have long ago so defaced it as + to render it illegible. + </p> + <p> + Toward midnight a fine breeze sprang up and the schooner soon worked + herself into the bay and cast anchor. The boat came ashore for us, and in + a little while the clouds and the rain were all gone. The moon was beaming + tranquilly down on land and sea, and we two were stretched upon the deck + sleeping the refreshing sleep and dreaming the happy dreams that are only + vouchsafed to the weary and the innocent. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch72" id="linkch72"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + In the breezy morning we went ashore and visited the ruined temple of the + last god Lono. The high chief cook of this temple—the priest who + presided over it and roasted the human sacrifices—was uncle to + Obookia, and at one time that youth was an apprentice-priest under him. + Obookia was a young native of fine mind, who, together with three other + native boys, was taken to New England by the captain of a whaleship during + the reign of Kamehameha I, and they were the means of attracting the + attention of the religious world to their country. This resulted in the + sending of missionaries there. And this Obookia was the very same + sensitive savage who sat down on the church steps and wept because his + people did not have the Bible. That incident has been very elaborately + painted in many a charming Sunday School book—aye, and told so + plaintively and so tenderly that I have cried over it in Sunday School + myself, on general principles, although at a time when I did not know much + and could not understand why the people of the Sandwich Islands needed to + worry so much about it as long as they did not know there was a Bible at + all. + </p> + <p> + Obookia was converted and educated, and was to have returned to his native + land with the first missionaries, had he lived. The other native youths + made the voyage, and two of them did good service, but the third, William + Kanui, fell from grace afterward, for a time, and when the gold excitement + broke out in California he journeyed thither and went to mining, although + he was fifty years old. He succeeded pretty well, but the failure of Page, + Bacon & Co. relieved him of six thousand dollars, and then, to all + intents and purposes, he was a bankrupt in his old age and he resumed + service in the pulpit again. He died in Honolulu in 1864. + </p> + <p> + Quite a broad tract of land near the temple, extending from the sea to the + mountain top, was sacred to the god Lono in olden times—so sacred + that if a common native set his sacrilegious foot upon it it was judicious + for him to make his will, because his time had come. He might go around it + by water, but he could not cross it. It was well sprinkled with pagan + temples and stocked with awkward, homely idols carved out of logs of wood. + There was a temple devoted to prayers for rain—and with fine + sagacity it was placed at a point so well up on the mountain side that if + you prayed there twenty-four times a day for rain you would be likely to + get it every time. You would seldom get to your Amen before you would have + to hoist your umbrella. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link518" id="link518"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="518.jpg (54K)" src="images/518.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + And there was a large temple near at hand which was built in a single + night, in the midst of storm and thunder and rain, by the ghastly hands of + dead men! Tradition says that by the weird glare of the lightning a + noiseless multitude of phantoms were seen at their strange labor far up + the mountain side at dead of night—flitting hither and thither and + bearing great lava-blocks clasped in their nerveless fingers—appearing + and disappearing as the pallid lustre fell upon their forms and faded away + again. Even to this day, it is said, the natives hold this dread structure + in awe and reverence, and will not pass by it in the night. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link519" id="link519"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="519.jpg (43K)" src="images/519.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + At noon I observed a bevy of nude native young ladies bathing in the sea, + and went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen. I + begged them to come out, for the sea was rising and I was satisfied that + they were running some risk. But they were not afraid, and presently went + on with their sport. They were finished swimmers and divers, and enjoyed + themselves to the last degree. + </p> + <p> + They swam races, splashed and ducked and tumbled each other about, and + filled the air with their laughter. It is said that the first thing an + Islander learns is how to swim; learning to walk being a matter of smaller + consequence, comes afterward. One hears tales of native men and women + swimming ashore from vessels many miles at sea—more miles, indeed, + than I dare vouch for or even mention. And they tell of a native diver who + went down in thirty or forty-foot waters and brought up an anvil! I think + he swallowed the anvil afterward, if my memory serves me. However I will + not urge this point. + </p> + <p> + I have spoken, several times, of the god Lono—I may as well furnish + two or three sentences concerning him. + </p> + <p> + The idol the natives worshipped for him was a slender, unornamented staff + twelve feet long. Tradition says he was a favorite god on the Island of + Hawaii—a great king who had been deified for meritorious services—just + our own fashion of rewarding heroes, with the difference that we would + have made him a Postmaster instead of a god, no doubt. In an angry moment + he slew his wife, a goddess named Kaikilani Aiii. Remorse of conscience + drove him mad, and tradition presents us the singular spectacle of a god + traveling "on the shoulder;" for in his gnawing grief he wandered about + from place to place boxing and wrestling with all whom he met. Of course + this pastime soon lost its novelty, inasmuch as it must necessarily have + been the case that when so powerful a deity sent a frail human opponent + "to grass" he never came back any more. Therefore, he instituted games + called makahiki, and ordered that they should be held in his honor, and + then sailed for foreign lands on a three-cornered raft, stating that he + would return some day—and that was the last of Lono. He was never + seen any more; his raft got swamped, perhaps. But the people always + expected his return, and thus they were easily led to accept Captain Cook + as the restored god. + </p> + <p> + Some of the old natives believed Cook was Lono to the day of their death; + but many did not, for they could not understand how he could die if he was + a god. + </p> + <p> + Only a mile or so from Kealakekua Bay is a spot of historic interest—the + place where the last battle was fought for idolatry. Of course we visited + it, and came away as wise as most people do who go and gaze upon such + mementoes of the past when in an unreflective mood. + </p> + <p> + While the first missionaries were on their way around the Horn, the + idolatrous customs which had obtained in the island, as far back as + tradition reached were suddenly broken up. Old Kamehameha I., was dead, + and his son, Liholiho, the new King was a free liver, a roystering, + dissolute fellow, and hated the restraints of the ancient tabu. His + assistant in the Government, Kaahumanu, the Queen dowager, was proud and + high-spirited, and hated the tabu because it restricted the privileges of + her sex and degraded all women very nearly to the level of brutes. So the + case stood. Liholiho had half a mind to put his foot down, Kaahumahu had a + whole mind to badger him into doing it, and whiskey did the rest. It was + probably the rest. It was probably the first time whiskey ever prominently + figured as an aid to civilization. Liholiho came up to Kailua as drunk as + a piper, and attended a great feast; the determined Queen spurred his + drunken courage up to a reckless pitch, and then, while all the multitude + stared in blank dismay, he moved deliberately forward and sat down with + the women! + </p> + <p> + They saw him eat from the same vessel with them, and were appalled! + Terrible moments drifted slowly by, and still the King ate, still he + lived, still the lightnings of the insulted gods were withheld! Then + conviction came like a revelation—the superstitions of a hundred + generations passed from before the people like a cloud, and a shout went + up, "the tabu is broken! the tabu is broken!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link521" id="link521"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="521.jpg (100K)" src="images/521.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Thus did King Liholiho and his dreadful whiskey preach the first sermon + and prepare the way for the new gospel that was speeding southward over + the waves of the Atlantic. + </p> + <p> + The tabu broken and destruction failing to follow the awful sacrilege, the + people, with that childlike precipitancy which has always characterized + them, jumped to the conclusion that their gods were a weak and wretched + swindle, just as they formerly jumped to the conclusion that Captain Cook + was no god, merely because he groaned, and promptly killed him without + stopping to inquire whether a god might not groan as well as a man if it + suited his convenience to do it; and satisfied that the idols were + powerless to protect themselves they went to work at once and pulled them + down—hacked them to pieces—applied the torch—annihilated + them! + </p> + <p> + The pagan priests were furious. And well they might be; they had held the + fattest offices in the land, and now they were beggared; they had been + great—they had stood above the chiefs—and now they were + vagabonds. They raised a revolt; they scared a number of people into + joining their standard, and Bekuokalani, an ambitious offshoot of royalty, + was easily persuaded to become their leader. + </p> + <p> + In the first skirmish the idolaters triumphed over the royal army sent + against them, and full of confidence they resolved to march upon Kailua. + The King sent an envoy to try and conciliate them, and came very near + being an envoy short by the operation; the savages not only refused to + listen to him, but wanted to kill him. So the King sent his men forth + under Major General Kalaimoku and the two host met a Kuamoo. The battle + was long and fierce—men and women fighting side by side, as was the + custom—and when the day was done the rebels were flying in every + direction in hopeless panic, and idolatry and the tabu were dead in the + land! + </p> + <p> + The royalists marched gayly home to Kailua glorifying the new + dispensation. "There is no power in the gods," said they; "they are a + vanity and a lie. The army with idols was weak; the army without idols was + strong and victorious!" + </p> + <p> + The nation was without a religion. + </p> + <p> + The missionary ship arrived in safety shortly afterward, timed by + providential exactness to meet the emergency, and the Gospel was planted + as in a virgin soil. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link523" id="link523"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="523.jpg (57K)" src="images/523.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch73" id="linkch73"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + At noon, we hired a Kanaka to take us down to the ancient ruins at + Honaunan in his canoe—price two dollars—reasonable enough, for + a sea voyage of eight miles, counting both ways. + </p> + <p> + The native canoe is an irresponsible looking contrivance. I cannot think + of anything to liken it to but a boy's sled runner hollowed out, and that + does not quite convey the correct idea. It is about fifteen feet long, + high and pointed at both ends, is a foot and a half or two feet deep, and + so narrow that if you wedged a fat man into it you might not get him out + again. It sits on top of the water like a duck, but it has an outrigger + and does not upset easily, if you keep still. This outrigger is formed of + two long bent sticks like plow handles, which project from one side, and + to their outer ends is bound a curved beam composed of an extremely light + wood, which skims along the surface of the water and thus saves you from + an upset on that side, while the outrigger's weight is not so easily + lifted as to make an upset on the other side a thing to be greatly feared. + Still, until one gets used to sitting perched upon this knifeblade, he is + apt to reason within himself that it would be more comfortable if there + were just an outrigger or so on the other side also. I had the bow seat, + and Billings sat amidships and faced the Kanaka, who occupied the stern of + the craft and did the paddling. With the first stroke the trim shell of a + thing shot out from the shore like an arrow. There was not much to see. + While we were on the shallow water of the reef, it was pastime to look + down into the limpid depths at the large bunches of branching coral—the + unique shrubbery of the sea. We lost that, though, when we got out into + the dead blue water of the deep. But we had the picture of the surf, then, + dashing angrily against the crag- bound shore and sending a foaming spray + high into the air. + </p> + <p> + There was interest in this beetling border, too, for it was honey-combed + with quaint caves and arches and tunnels, and had a rude semblance of the + dilapidated architecture of ruined keeps and castles rising out of the + restless sea. When this novelty ceased to be a novelty, we turned our eyes + shoreward and gazed at the long mountain with its rich green forests + stretching up into the curtaining clouds, and at the specks of houses in + the rearward distance and the diminished schooner riding sleepily at + anchor. And when these grew tiresome we dashed boldly into the midst of a + school of huge, beastly porpoises engaged at their eternal game of arching + over a wave and disappearing, and then doing it over again and keeping it + up—always circling over, in that way, like so many well- submerged + wheels. But the porpoises wheeled themselves away, and then we were thrown + upon our own resources. It did not take many minutes to discover that the + sun was blazing like a bonfire, and that the weather was of a melting + temperature. It had a drowsing effect, too. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link525" id="link525"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="525.jpg (87K)" src="images/525.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + In one place we came upon a large company of naked natives, of both sexes + and all ages, amusing themselves with the national pastime of + surf-bathing. Each heathen would paddle three or four hundred yards out to + sea, (taking a short board with him), then face the shore and wait for a + particularly prodigious billow to come along; at the right moment he would + fling his board upon its foamy crest and himself upon the board, and here + he would come whizzing by like a bombshell! It did not seem that a + lightning express train could shoot along at a more hair-lifting speed. I + tried surf-bathing once, subsequently, but made a failure of it. I got the + board placed right, and at the right moment, too; but missed the + connection myself.—The board struck the shore in three quarters of a + second, without any cargo, and I struck the bottom about the same time, + with a couple of barrels of water in me. None but natives ever master the + art of surf-bathing thoroughly. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link526" id="link526"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="526.jpg (33K)" src="images/526.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + At the end of an hour, we had made the four miles, and landed on a level + point of land, upon which was a wide extent of old ruins, with many a tall + cocoanut tree growing among them. Here was the ancient City of Refuge—a + vast inclosure, whose stone walls were twenty feet thick at the base, and + fifteen feet high; an oblong square, a thousand and forty feet one way and + a fraction under seven hundred the other. Within this inclosure, in early + times, has been three rude temples; each two hundred and ten feet long by + one hundred wide, and thirteen high. + </p> + <p> + In those days, if a man killed another anywhere on the island the + relatives were privileged to take the murderer's life; and then a chase + for life and liberty began—the outlawed criminal flying through + pathless forests and over mountain and plain, with his hopes fixed upon + the protecting walls of the City of Refuge, and the avenger of blood + following hotly after him! + </p> + <p> + Sometimes the race was kept up to the very gates of the temple, and the + panting pair sped through long files of excited natives, who watched the + contest with flashing eye and dilated nostril, encouraging the hunted + refugee with sharp, inspiriting ejaculations, and sending up a ringing + shout of exultation when the saving gates closed upon him and the cheated + pursuer sank exhausted at the threshold. But sometimes the flying criminal + fell under the hand of the avenger at the very door, when one more brave + stride, one more brief second of time would have brought his feet upon the + sacred ground and barred him against all harm. Where did these isolated + pagans get this idea of a City of Refuge—this ancient Oriental + custom? + </p> + <p> + <a name="link527" id="link527"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="527.jpg (73K)" src="images/527.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + This old sanctuary was sacred to all—even to rebels in arms and + invading armies. Once within its walls, and confession made to the priest + and absolution obtained, the wretch with a price upon his head could go + forth without fear and without danger—he was tabu, and to harm him + was death. The routed rebels in the lost battle for idolatry fled to this + place to claim sanctuary, and many were thus saved. + </p> + <p> + Close to the corner of the great inclosure is a round structure of stone, + some six or eight feet high, with a level top about ten or twelve in + diameter. This was the place of execution. A high palisade of cocoanut + piles shut out the cruel scenes from the vulgar multitude. Here criminals + were killed, the flesh stripped from the bones and burned, and the bones + secreted in holes in the body of the structure. If the man had been guilty + of a high crime, the entire corpse was burned. + </p> + <p> + The walls of the temple are a study. The same food for speculation that is + offered the visitor to the Pyramids of Egypt he will find here—the + mystery of how they were constructed by a people unacquainted with science + and mechanics. The natives have no invention of their own for hoisting + heavy weights, they had no beasts of burden, and they have never even + shown any knowledge of the properties of the lever. Yet some of the lava + blocks quarried out, brought over rough, broken ground, and built into + this wall, six or seven feet from the ground, are of prodigious size and + would weigh tons. How did they transport and how raise them? + </p> + <p> + Both the inner and outer surfaces of the walls present a smooth front and + are very creditable specimens of masonry. The blocks are of all manner of + shapes and sizes, but yet are fitted together with the neatest exactness. + The gradual narrowing of the wall from the base upward is accurately + preserved. + </p> + <p> + No cement was used, but the edifice is firm and compact and is capable of + resisting storm and decay for centuries. Who built this temple, and how + was it built, and when, are mysteries that may never be unraveled. Outside + of these ancient walls lies a sort of coffin-shaped stone eleven feet four + inches long and three feet square at the small end (it would weigh a few + thousand pounds), which the high chief who held sway over this district + many centuries ago brought thither on his shoulder one day to use as a + lounge! This circumstance is established by the most reliable traditions. + He used to lie down on it, in his indolent way, and keep an eye on his + subjects at work for him and see that there was no "soldiering" done. And + no doubt there was not any done to speak of, because he was a man of that + sort of build that incites to attention to business on the part of an + employee. + </p> + <p> + He was fourteen or fifteen feet high. When he stretched himself at full + length on his lounge, his legs hung down over the end, and when he snored + he woke the dead. These facts are all attested by irrefragable tradition. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link529" id="link529"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="529.jpg (86K)" src="images/529.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + On the other side of the temple is a monstrous seven-ton rock, eleven feet + long, seven feet wide and three feet thick. It is raised a foot or a foot + and a half above the ground, and rests upon half a dozen little stony + pedestals. The same old fourteen-footer brought it down from the mountain, + merely for fun (he had his own notions about fun), and propped it up as we + find it now and as others may find it a century hence, for it would take a + score of horses to budge it from its position. They say that fifty or + sixty years ago the proud Queen Kaahumanu used to fly to this rock for + safety, whenever she had been making trouble with her fierce husband, and + hide under it until his wrath was appeased. But these Kanakas will lie, + and this statement is one of their ablest efforts—for Kaahumanu was + six feet high—she was bulky—she was built like an ox—and + she could no more have squeezed herself under that rock than she could + have passed between the cylinders of a sugar mill. What could she gain by + it, even if she succeeded? To be chased and abused by a savage husband + could not be otherwise than humiliating to her high spirit, yet it could + never make her feel so flat as an hour's repose under that rock would. + </p> + <p> + We walked a mile over a raised macadamized road of uniform width; a road + paved with flat stones and exhibiting in its every detail a considerable + degree of engineering skill. Some say that that wise old pagan, Kamehameha + I planned and built it, but others say it was built so long before his + time that the knowledge of who constructed it has passed out of the + traditions. In either case, however, as the handiwork of an untaught and + degraded race it is a thing of pleasing interest. The stones are worn and + smooth, and pushed apart in places, so that the road has the exact + appearance of those ancient paved highways leading out of Rome which one + sees in pictures. + </p> + <p> + The object of our tramp was to visit a great natural curiosity at the base + of the foothills—a congealed cascade of lava. Some old forgotten + volcanic eruption sent its broad river of fire down the mountain side + here, and it poured down in a great torrent from an overhanging bluff some + fifty feet high to the ground below. The flaming torrent cooled in the + winds from the sea, and remains there to-day, all seamed, and frothed and + rippled a petrified Niagara. It is very picturesque, and withal so natural + that one might almost imagine it still flowed. A smaller stream trickled + over the cliff and built up an isolated pyramid about thirty feet high, + which has the semblance of a mass of large gnarled and knotted vines and + roots and stems intricately twisted and woven together. + </p> + <p> + We passed in behind the cascade and the pyramid, and found the bluff + pierced by several cavernous tunnels, whose crooked courses we followed a + long distance. + </p> + <p> + Two of these winding tunnels stand as proof of Nature's mining abilities. + Their floors are level, they are seven feet wide, and their roofs are + gently arched. Their height is not uniform, however. We passed through one + a hundred feet long, which leads through a spur of the hill and opens out + well up in the sheer wall of a precipice whose foot rests in the waves of + the sea. It is a commodious tunnel, except that there are occasional + places in it where one must stoop to pass under. The roof is lava, of + course, and is thickly studded with little lava-pointed icicles an inch + long, which hardened as they dripped. They project as closely together as + the iron teeth of a corn-sheller, and if one will stand up straight and + walk any distance there, he can get his hair combed free of charge. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link531" id="link531"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="531.jpg (55K)" src="images/531.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch74" id="linkch74"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We got back to the schooner in good time, and then sailed down to Kau, + where we disembarked and took final leave of the vessel. Next day we + bought horses and bent our way over the summer-clad mountain-terraces, + toward the great volcano of Kilauea (Ke-low-way-ah). We made nearly a two + days' journey of it, but that was on account of laziness. Toward sunset on + the second day, we reached an elevation of some four thousand feet above + sea level, and as we picked our careful way through billowy wastes of lava + long generations ago stricken dead and cold in the climax of its tossing + fury, we began to come upon signs of the near presence of the volcano—signs + in the nature of ragged fissures that discharged jets of sulphurous vapor + into the air, hot from the molten ocean down in the bowels of the + mountain. + </p> + <p> + Shortly the crater came into view. I have seen Vesuvius since, but it was + a mere toy, a child's volcano, a soup-kettle, compared to this. Mount + Vesuvius is a shapely cone thirty-six hundred feet high; its crater an + inverted cone only three hundred feet deep, and not more than a thousand + feet in diameter, if as much as that; its fires meagre, modest, and + docile.—But here was a vast, perpendicular, walled cellar, nine + hundred feet deep in some places, thirteen hundred in others, level- + floored, and ten miles in circumference! Here was a yawning pit upon whose + floor the armies of Russia could camp, and have room to spare. + </p> + <p> + Perched upon the edge of the crater, at the opposite end from where we + stood, was a small look-out house—say three miles away. It assisted + us, by comparison, to comprehend and appreciate the great depth of the + basin—it looked like a tiny martin-box clinging at the eaves of a + cathedral. After some little time spent in resting and looking and + ciphering, we hurried on to the hotel. + </p> + <p> + By the path it is half a mile from the Volcano House to the lookout- + house. After a hearty supper we waited until it was thoroughly dark and + then started to the crater. The first glance in that direction revealed a + scene of wild beauty. There was a heavy fog over the crater and it was + splendidly illuminated by the glare from the fires below. The illumination + was two miles wide and a mile high, perhaps; and if you ever, on a dark + night and at a distance beheld the light from thirty or forty blocks of + distant buildings all on fire at once, reflected strongly against + over-hanging clouds, you can form a fair idea of what this looked like. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link533" id="link533"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="533.jpg (37K)" src="images/533.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + A colossal column of cloud towered to a great height in the air + immediately above the crater, and the outer swell of every one of its vast + folds was dyed with a rich crimson luster, which was subdued to a pale + rose tint in the depressions between. It glowed like a muffled torch and + stretched upward to a dizzy height toward the zenith. I thought it just + possible that its like had not been seen since the children of Israel + wandered on their long march through the desert so many centuries ago over + a path illuminated by the mysterious "pillar of fire." And I was sure that + I now had a vivid conception of what the majestic "pillar of fire" was + like, which almost amounted to a revelation. + </p> + <p> + Arrived at the little thatched lookout house, we rested our elbows on the + railing in front and looked abroad over the wide crater and down over the + sheer precipice at the seething fires beneath us. The view was a startling + improvement on my daylight experience. I turned to see the effect on the + balance of the company and found the reddest-faced set of men I almost + ever saw. In the strong light every countenance glowed like red-hot iron, + every shoulder was suffused with crimson and shaded rearward into dingy, + shapeless obscurity! The place below looked like the infernal regions and + these men like half-cooled devils just come up on a furlough. + </p> + <p> + I turned my eyes upon the volcano again. The "cellar" was tolerably well + lighted up. For a mile and a half in front of us and half a mile on either + side, the floor of the abyss was magnificently illuminated; beyond these + limits the mists hung down their gauzy curtains and cast a deceptive gloom + over all that made the twinkling fires in the remote corners of the crater + seem countless leagues removed—made them seem like the camp-fires of + a great army far away. Here was room for the imagination to work! You + could imagine those lights the width of a continent away—and that + hidden under the intervening darkness were hills, and winding rivers, and + weary wastes of plain and desert—and even then the tremendous vista + stretched on, and on, and on!—to the fires and far beyond! You could + not compass it—it was the idea of eternity made tangible—and + the longest end of it made visible to the naked eye! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link535" id="link535"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="535.jpg (125K)" src="images/535.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The greater part of the vast floor of the desert under us was as black as + ink, and apparently smooth and level; but over a mile square of it was + ringed and streaked and striped with a thousand branching streams of + liquid and gorgeously brilliant fire! It looked like a colossal railroad + map of the State of Massachusetts done in chain lightning on a midnight + sky. Imagine it—imagine a coal-black sky shivered into a tangled + net- work of angry fire! + </p> + <p> + Here and there were gleaming holes a hundred feet in diameter, broken in + the dark crust, and in them the melted lava—the color a dazzling + white just tinged with yellow—was boiling and surging furiously; and + from these holes branched numberless bright torrents in many directions, + like the spokes of a wheel, and kept a tolerably straight course for a + while and then swept round in huge rainbow curves, or made a long + succession of sharp worm-fence angles, which looked precisely like the + fiercest jagged lightning. These streams met other streams, and they + mingled with and crossed and recrossed each other in every conceivable + direction, like skate tracks on a popular skating ground. Sometimes + streams twenty or thirty feet wide flowed from the holes to some distance + without dividing—and through the opera-glasses we could see that + they ran down small, steep hills and were genuine cataracts of fire, white + at their source, but soon cooling and turning to the richest red, grained + with alternate lines of black and gold. Every now and then masses of the + dark crust broke away and floated slowly down these streams like rafts + down a river. Occasionally the molten lava flowing under the + superincumbent crust broke through—split a dazzling streak, from + five hundred to a thousand feet long, like a sudden flash of lightning, + and then acre after acre of the cold lava parted into fragments, turned up + edgewise like cakes of ice when a great river breaks up, plunged downward + and were swallowed in the crimson cauldron. Then the wide expanse of the + "thaw" maintained a ruddy glow for a while, but shortly cooled and became + black and level again. During a "thaw," every dismembered cake was marked + by a glittering white border which was superbly shaded inward by aurora + borealis rays, which were a flaming yellow where they joined the white + border, and from thence toward their points tapered into glowing crimson, + then into a rich, pale carmine, and finally into a faint blush that held + its own a moment and then dimmed and turned black. Some of the streams + preferred to mingle together in a tangle of fantastic circles, and then + they looked something like the confusion of ropes one sees on a ship's + deck when she has just taken in sail and dropped anchor—provided one + can imagine those ropes on fire. + </p> + <p> + Through the glasses, the little fountains scattered about looked very + beautiful. They boiled, and coughed, and spluttered, and discharged sprays + of stringy red fire—of about the consistency of mush, for instance—from + ten to fifteen feet into the air, along with a shower of brilliant white + sparks—a quaint and unnatural mingling of gouts of blood and + snow-flakes! + </p> + <p> + We had circles and serpents and streaks of lightning all twined and + wreathed and tied together, without a break throughout an area more than a + mile square (that amount of ground was covered, though it was not strictly + "square"), and it was with a feeling of placid exultation that we + reflected that many years had elapsed since any visitor had seen such a + splendid display—since any visitor had seen anything more than the + now snubbed and insignificant "North" and "South" lakes in action. We had + been reading old files of Hawaiian newspapers and the "Record Book" at the + Volcano House, and were posted. + </p> + <p> + I could see the North Lake lying out on the black floor away off in the + outer edge of our panorama, and knitted to it by a web-work of lava + streams. In its individual capacity it looked very little more respectable + than a schoolhouse on fire. True, it was about nine hundred feet long and + two or three hundred wide, but then, under the present circumstances, it + necessarily appeared rather insignificant, and besides it was so distant + from us. + </p> + <p> + I forgot to say that the noise made by the bubbling lava is not great, + heard as we heard it from our lofty perch. It makes three distinct sounds—a + rushing, a hissing, and a coughing or puffing sound; and if you stand on + the brink and close your eyes it is no trick at all to imagine that you + are sweeping down a river on a large low-pressure steamer, and that you + hear the hissing of the steam about her boilers, the puffing from her + escape-pipes and the churning rush of the water abaft her wheels. The + smell of sulphur is strong, but not unpleasant to a sinner. + </p> + <p> + We left the lookout house at ten o'clock in a half cooked condition, + because of the heat from Pele's furnaces, and wrapping up in blankets, for + the night was cold, we returned to our Hotel. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch75" id="linkch75"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + The next night was appointed for a visit to the bottom of the crater, for + we desired to traverse its floor and see the "North Lake" (of fire) which + lay two miles away, toward the further wall. After dark half a dozen of us + set out, with lanterns and native guides, and climbed down a crazy, + thousand-foot pathway in a crevice fractured in the crater wall, and + reached the bottom in safety. + </p> + <p> + The irruption of the previous evening had spent its force and the floor + looked black and cold; but when we ran out upon it we found it hot yet, to + the feet, and it was likewise riven with crevices which revealed the + underlying fires gleaming vindictively. A neighboring cauldron was + threatening to overflow, and this added to the dubiousness of the + situation. So the native guides refused to continue the venture, and then + every body deserted except a stranger named Marlette. He said he had been + in the crater a dozen times in daylight and believed he could find his way + through it at night. He thought that a run of three hundred yards would + carry us over the hottest part of the floor and leave us our shoe-soles. + His pluck gave me back-bone. We took one lantern and instructed the guides + to hang the other to the roof of the look-out house to serve as a beacon + for us in case we got lost, and then the party started back up the + precipice and Marlette and I made our run. We skipped over the hot floor + and over the red crevices with brisk dispatch and reached the cold lava + safe but with pretty warm feet. Then we took things leisurely and + comfortably, jumping tolerably wide and probably bottomless chasms, and + threading our way through picturesque lava upheavals with considerable + confidence. When we got fairly away from the cauldrons of boiling fire, we + seemed to be in a gloomy desert, and a suffocatingly dark one, surrounded + by dim walls that seemed to tower to the sky. The only cheerful objects + were the glinting stars high overhead. + </p> + <p> + By and by Marlette shouted "Stop!" I never stopped quicker in my life. I + asked what the matter was. He said we were out of the path. He said we + must not try to go on till we found it again, for we were surrounded with + beds of rotten lava through which we could easily break and plunge down a + thousand feet. I thought eight hundred would answer for me, and was about + to say so when Marlette partly proved his statement by accidentally + crushing through and disappearing to his arm-pits. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link539" id="link539"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="539.jpg (43K)" src="images/539.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + He got out and we hunted for the path with the lantern. He said there was + only one path and that it was but vaguely defined. We could not find it. + The lava surface was all alike in the lantern light. But he was an + ingenious man. He said it was not the lantern that had informed him that + we were out of the path, but his feet. He had noticed a crisp grinding of + fine lava-needles under his feet, and some instinct reminded him that in + the path these were all worn away. So he put the lantern behind him, and + began to search with his boots instead of his eyes. It was good sagacity. + The first time his foot touched a surface that did not grind under it he + announced that the trail was found again; and after that we kept up a + sharp listening for the rasping sound and it always warned us in time. + </p> + <p> + It was a long tramp, but an exciting one. We reached the North Lake + between ten and eleven o'clock, and sat down on a huge overhanging lava- + shelf, tired but satisfied. The spectacle presented was worth coming + double the distance to see. Under us, and stretching away before us, was a + heaving sea of molten fire of seemingly limitless extent. The glare from + it was so blinding that it was some time before we could bear to look upon + it steadily. + </p> + <p> + It was like gazing at the sun at noon-day, except that the glare was not + quite so white. At unequal distances all around the shores of the lake + were nearly white-hot chimneys or hollow drums of lava, four or five feet + high, and up through them were bursting gorgeous sprays of lava-gouts and + gem spangles, some white, some red and some golden—a ceaseless + bombardment, and one that fascinated the eye with its unapproachable + splendor. The mere distant jets, sparkling up through an intervening + gossamer veil of vapor, seemed miles away; and the further the curving + ranks of fiery fountains receded, the more fairy-like and beautiful they + appeared. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link540" id="link540"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="540.jpg (78K)" src="images/540.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Now and then the surging bosom of the lake under our noses would calm down + ominously and seem to be gathering strength for an enterprise; and then + all of a sudden a red dome of lava of the bulk of an ordinary dwelling + would heave itself aloft like an escaping balloon, then burst asunder, and + out of its heart would flit a pale-green film of vapor, and float upward + and vanish in the darkness—a released soul soaring homeward from + captivity with the damned, no doubt. The crashing plunge of the ruined + dome into the lake again would send a world of seething billows lashing + against the shores and shaking the foundations of our perch. By and by, a + loosened mass of the hanging shelf we sat on tumbled into the lake, + jarring the surroundings like an earthquake and delivering a suggestion + that may have been intended for a hint, and may not. We did not wait to + see. + </p> + <p> + We got lost again on our way back, and were more than an hour hunting for + the path. We were where we could see the beacon lantern at the look-out + house at the time, but thought it was a star and paid no attention to it. + We reached the hotel at two o'clock in the morning pretty well fagged out. + </p> + <p> + Kilauea never overflows its vast crater, but bursts a passage for its lava + through the mountain side when relief is necessary, and then the + destruction is fearful. About 1840 it rent its overburdened stomach and + sent a broad river of fire careering down to the sea, which swept away + forests, huts, plantations and every thing else that lay in its path. The + stream was five miles broad, in places, and two hundred feet deep, and the + distance it traveled was forty miles. It tore up and bore away + acre-patches of land on its bosom like rafts—rocks, trees and all + intact. At night the red glare was visible a hundred miles at sea; and at + a distance of forty miles fine print could be read at midnight. The + atmosphere was poisoned with sulphurous vapors and choked with falling + ashes, pumice stones and cinders; countless columns of smoke rose up and + blended together in a tumbled canopy that hid the heavens and glowed with + a ruddy flush reflected from the fires below; here and there jets of lava + sprung hundreds of feet into the air and burst into rocket-sprays that + returned to earth in a crimson rain; and all the while the laboring + mountain shook with Nature's great palsy and voiced its distress in + moanings and the muffled booming of subterranean thunders. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link542" id="link542"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="542.jpg (103K)" src="images/542.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Fishes were killed for twenty miles along the shore, where the lava + entered the sea. The earthquakes caused some loss of human life, and a + prodigious tidal wave swept inland, carrying every thing before it and + drowning a number of natives. The devastation consummated along the route + traversed by the river of lava was complete and incalculable. Only a + Pompeii and a Herculaneum were needed at the foot of Kilauea to make the + story of the irruption immortal. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link543" id="link543"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="543.jpg (113K)" src="images/543.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch76" id="linkch76"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + We rode horseback all around the island of Hawaii (the crooked road making + the distance two hundred miles), and enjoyed the journey very much. We + were more than a week making the trip, because our Kanaka horses would not + go by a house or a hut without stopping—whip and spur could not + alter their minds about it, and so we finally found that it economized + time to let them have their way. Upon inquiry the mystery was explained: + the natives are such thorough-going gossips that they never pass a house + without stopping to swap news, and consequently their horses learn to + regard that sort of thing as an essential part of the whole duty of man, + and his salvation not to be compassed without it. However, at a former + crisis of my life I had once taken an aristocratic young lady out driving, + behind a horse that had just retired from a long and honorable career as + the moving impulse of a milk wagon, and so this present experience awoke a + reminiscent sadness in me in place of the exasperation more natural to the + occasion. I remembered how helpless I was that day, and how humiliated; + how ashamed I was of having intimated to the girl that I had always owned + the horse and was accustomed to grandeur; how hard I tried to appear easy, + and even vivacious, under suffering that was consuming my vitals; how + placidly and maliciously the girl smiled, and kept on smiling, while my + hot blushes baked themselves into a permanent blood-pudding in my face; + how the horse ambled from one side of the street to the other and waited + complacently before every third house two minutes and a quarter while I + belabored his back and reviled him in my heart; how I tried to keep him + from turning corners and failed; how I moved heaven and earth to get him + out of town, and did not succeed; how he traversed the entire settlement + and delivered imaginary milk at a hundred and sixty-two different + domiciles, and how he finally brought up at a dairy depot and refused to + budge further, thus rounding and completing the revealment of what the + plebeian service of his life had been; how, in eloquent silence, I walked + the girl home, and how, when I took leave of her, her parting remark + scorched my soul and appeared to blister me all over: she said that my + horse was a fine, capable animal, and I must have taken great comfort in + him in my time—but that if I would take along some milk-tickets next + time, and appear to deliver them at the various halting places, it might + expedite his movements a little. There was a coolness between us after + that. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link545" id="link545"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="545.jpg (90K)" src="images/545.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + In one place in the island of Hawaii, we saw a laced and ruffled cataract + of limpid water leaping from a sheer precipice fifteen hundred feet high; + but that sort of scenery finds its stanchest ally in the arithmetic rather + than in spectacular effect. If one desires to be so stirred by a poem of + Nature wrought in the happily commingled graces of picturesque rocks, + glimpsed distances, foliage, color, shifting lights and shadows, and + failing water, that the tears almost come into his eyes so potent is the + charm exerted, he need not go away from America to enjoy such an + experience. The Rainbow Fall, in Watkins Glen (N.Y.), on the Erie railway, + is an example. It would recede into pitiable insignificance if the callous + tourist drew on arithmetic on it; but left to compete for the honors + simply on scenic grace and beauty—the grand, the august and the + sublime being barred the contest—it could challenge the old world + and the new to produce its peer. + </p> + <p> + In one locality, on our journey, we saw some horses that had been born and + reared on top of the mountains, above the range of running water, and + consequently they had never drank that fluid in their lives, but had been + always accustomed to quenching their thirst by eating dew-laden or + shower-wetted leaves. And now it was destructively funny to see them sniff + suspiciously at a pail of water, and then put in their noses and try to + take a bite out of the fluid, as if it were a solid. Finding it liquid, + they would snatch away their heads and fall to trembling, snorting and + showing other evidences of fright. When they became convinced at last that + the water was friendly and harmless, they thrust in their noses up to + their eyes, brought out a mouthful of water, and proceeded to chew it + complacently. We saw a man coax, kick and spur one of them five or ten + minutes before he could make it cross a running stream. It spread its + nostrils, distended its eyes and trembled all over, just as horses + customarily do in the presence of a serpent—and for aught I know it + thought the crawling stream was a serpent. + </p> + <p> + In due course of time our journey came to an end at Kawaehae (usually + pronounced To-a-hi—and before we find fault with this elaborate + orthographical method of arriving at such an unostentatious result, let us + lop off the ugh from our word "though"). I made this horseback trip on a + mule. I paid ten dollars for him at Kau (Kah-oo), added four to get him + shod, rode him two hundred miles, and then sold him for fifteen dollars. I + mark the circumstance with a white stone (in the absence of chalk—for + I never saw a white stone that a body could mark anything with, though out + of respect for the ancients I have tried it often enough); for up to that + day and date it was the first strictly commercial transaction I had ever + entered into, and come out winner. We returned to Honolulu, and from + thence sailed to the island of Maui, and spent several weeks there very + pleasantly. I still remember, with a sense of indolent luxury, a picnicing + excursion up a romantic gorge there, called the Iao Valley. The trail lay + along the edge of a brawling stream in the bottom of the gorge—a + shady route, for it was well roofed with the verdant domes of forest + trees. Through openings in the foliage we glimpsed picturesque scenery + that revealed ceaseless changes and new charms with every step of our + progress. Perpendicular walls from one to three thousand feet high guarded + the way, and were sumptuously plumed with varied foliage, in places, and + in places swathed in waving ferns. Passing shreds of cloud trailed their + shadows across these shining fronts, mottling them with blots; billowy + masses of white vapor hid the turreted summits, and far above the vapor + swelled a background of gleaming green crags and cones that came and went, + through the veiling mists, like islands drifting in a fog; sometimes the + cloudy curtain descended till half the canon wall was hidden, then + shredded gradually away till only airy glimpses of the ferny front + appeared through it—then swept aloft and left it glorified in the + sun again. Now and then, as our position changed, rocky bastions swung out + from the wall, a mimic ruin of castellated ramparts and crumbling towers + clothed with mosses and hung with garlands of swaying vines, and as we + moved on they swung back again and hid themselves once more in the + foliage. Presently a verdure-clad needle of stone, a thousand feet high, + stepped out from behind a corner, and mounted guard over the mysteries of + the valley. It seemed to me that if Captain Cook needed a monument, here + was one ready made—therefore, why not put up his sign here, and sell + out the venerable cocoanut stump? + </p> + <p> + <a name="link547" id="link547"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="547.jpg (192K)" src="images/547.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + But the chief pride of Maui is her dead volcano of Haleakala—which + means, translated, "the house of the sun." We climbed a thousand feet up + the side of this isolated colossus one afternoon; then camped, and next + day climbed the remaining nine thousand feet, and anchored on the summit, + where we built a fire and froze and roasted by turns, all night. With the + first pallor of dawn we got up and saw things that were new to us. Mounted + on a commanding pinnacle, we watched Nature work her silent wonders. The + sea was spread abroad on every hand, its tumbled surface seeming only + wrinkled and dimpled in the distance. A broad valley below appeared like + an ample checker-board, its velvety green sugar plantations alternating + with dun squares of barrenness and groves of trees diminished to mossy + tufts. Beyond the valley were mountains picturesquely grouped together; + but bear in mind, we fancied that we were looking up at these things—not + down. We seemed to sit in the bottom of a symmetrical bowl ten thousand + feet deep, with the valley and the skirting sea lifted away into the sky + above us! It was curious; and not only curious, but aggravating; for it + was having our trouble all for nothing, to climb ten thousand feet toward + heaven and then have to look up at our scenery. However, we had to be + content with it and make the best of it; for, all we could do we could not + coax our landscape down out of the clouds. Formerly, when I had read an + article in which Poe treated of this singular fraud perpetrated upon the + eye by isolated great altitudes, I had looked upon the matter as an + invention of his own fancy. + </p> + <p> + I have spoken of the outside view—but we had an inside one, too. + That was the yawning dead crater, into which we now and then tumbled + rocks, half as large as a barrel, from our perch, and saw them go + careering down the almost perpendicular sides, bounding three hundred feet + at a jump; kicking up cast-clouds wherever they struck; diminishing to our + view as they sped farther into distance; growing invisible, finally, and + only betraying their course by faint little puffs of dust; and coming to a + halt at last in the bottom of the abyss, two thousand five hundred feet + down from where they started! It was magnificent sport. We wore ourselves + out at it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link549" id="link549"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="549.jpg (138K)" src="images/549.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The crater of Vesuvius, as I have before remarked, is a modest pit about a + thousand feet deep and three thousand in circumference; that of Kilauea is + somewhat deeper, and ten miles in circumference. But what are either of + them compared to the vacant stomach of Haleakala? I will not offer any + figures of my own, but give official ones—those of Commander Wilkes, + U.S.N., who surveyed it and testifies that it is twenty-seven miles in + circumference! If it had a level bottom it would make a fine site for a + city like London. It must have afforded a spectacle worth contemplating in + the old days when its furnaces gave full rein to their anger. + </p> + <p> + Presently vagrant white clouds came drifting along, high over the sea and + the valley; then they came in couples and groups; then in imposing + squadrons; gradually joining their forces, they banked themselves solidly + together, a thousand feet under us, and totally shut out land and ocean—not + a vestige of anything was left in view but just a little of the rim of the + crater, circling away from the pinnacle whereon we sat (for a ghostly + procession of wanderers from the filmy hosts without had drifted through a + chasm in the crater wall and filed round and round, and gathered and sunk + and blended together till the abyss was stored to the brim with a fleecy + fog). Thus banked, motion ceased, and silence reigned. Clear to the + horizon, league on league, the snowy floor stretched without a break—not + level, but in rounded folds, with shallow creases between, and with here + and there stately piles of vapory architecture lifting themselves aloft + out of the common plain—some near at hand, some in the middle + distances, and others relieving the monotony of the remote solitudes. + There was little conversation, for the impressive scene overawed speech. I + felt like the Last Man, neglected of the judgment, and left pinnacled in + mid-heaven, a forgotten relic of a vanished world. + </p> + <p> + While the hush yet brooded, the messengers of the coming resurrection + appeared in the East. A growing warmth suffused the horizon, and soon the + sun emerged and looked out over the cloud-waste, flinging bars of ruddy + light across it, staining its folds and billow-caps with blushes, purpling + the shaded troughs between, and glorifying the massy vapor- palaces and + cathedrals with a wasteful splendor of all blendings and combinations of + rich coloring. + </p> + <p> + It was the sublimest spectacle I ever witnessed, and I think the memory of + it will remain with me always. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch77" id="linkch77"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I stumbled upon one curious character in the Island of Mani. He became a + sore annoyance to me in the course of time. My first glimpse of him was in + a sort of public room in the town of Lahaina. He occupied a chair at the + opposite side of the apartment, and sat eyeing our party with interest for + some minutes, and listening as critically to what we were saying as if he + fancied we were talking to him and expecting him to reply. I thought it + very sociable in a stranger. Presently, in the course of conversation, I + made a statement bearing upon the subject under discussion—and I + made it with due modesty, for there was nothing extraordinary about it, + and it was only put forth in illustration of a point at issue. I had + barely finished when this person spoke out with rapid utterance and + feverish anxiety: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, that was certainly remarkable, after a fashion, but you ought to have + seen my chimney—you ought to have seen my chimney, sir! Smoke! I + wish I may hang if—Mr. Jones, you remember that chimney—you + must remember that chimney! No, no—I recollect, now, you warn't + living on this side of the island then. But I am telling you nothing but + the truth, and I wish I may never draw another breath if that chimney + didn't smoke so that the smoke actually got caked in it and I had to dig + it out with a pickaxe! You may smile, gentlemen, but the High Sheriff's + got a hunk of it which I dug out before his eyes, and so it's perfectly + easy for you to go and examine for yourselves." + </p> + <p> + The interruption broke up the conversation, which had already begun to + lag, and we presently hired some natives and an out-rigger canoe or two, + and went out to overlook a grand surf-bathing contest. + </p> + <p> + Two weeks after this, while talking in a company, I looked up and detected + this same man boring through and through me with his intense eye, and + noted again his twitching muscles and his feverish anxiety to speak. The + moment I paused, he said: + </p> + <p> + "Beg your pardon, sir, beg your pardon, but it can only be considered + remarkable when brought into strong outline by isolation. Sir, contrasted + with a circumstance which occurred in my own experience, it instantly + becomes commonplace. No, not that—for I will not speak so + discourteously of any experience in the career of a stranger and a + gentleman—but I am obliged to say that you could not, and you would + not ever again refer to this tree as a large one, if you could behold, as + I have, the great Yakmatack tree, in the island of Ounaska, sea of + Kamtchatka—a tree, sir, not one inch less than four hundred and + fifteen feet in solid diameter!—and I wish I may die in a minute if + it isn't so! Oh, you needn't look so questioning, gentlemen; here's old + Cap Saltmarsh can say whether I know what I'm talking about or not. I + showed him the tree." + </p> + <p> + Captain Saltmarsh—"Come, now, cat your anchor, lad—you're + heaving too taut. You promised to show me that stunner, and I walked more + than eleven mile with you through the cussedest jungle I ever see, a + hunting for it; but the tree you showed me finally warn't as big around as + a beer cask, and you know that your own self, Markiss." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link553" id="link553"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="553.jpg (48K)" src="images/553.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + "Hear the man talk! Of course the tree was reduced that way, but didn't I + explain it? Answer me, didn't I? Didn't I say I wished you could have seen + it when I first saw it? When you got up on your ear and called me names, + and said I had brought you eleven miles to look at a sapling, didn't I + explain to you that all the whale-ships in the North Seas had been wooding + off of it for more than twenty-seven years? And did you s'pose the tree + could last for-ever, con-found it? I don't see why you want to keep back + things that way, and try to injure a person that's never done you any + harm." + </p> + <p> + Somehow this man's presence made me uncomfortable, and I was glad when a + native arrived at that moment to say that Muckawow, the most companionable + and luxurious among the rude war-chiefs of the Islands, desired us to come + over and help him enjoy a missionary whom he had found trespassing on his + grounds. + </p> + <p> + I think it was about ten days afterward that, as I finished a statement I + was making for the instruction of a group of friends and acquaintances, + and which made no pretence of being extraordinary, a familiar voice chimed + instantly in on the heels of my last word, and said: + </p> + <p> + "But, my dear sir, there was nothing remarkable about that horse, or the + circumstance either—nothing in the world! I mean no sort of offence + when I say it, sir, but you really do not know anything whatever about + speed. Bless your heart, if you could only have seen my mare Margaretta; + there was a beast!—there was lightning for you! Trot! Trot is no + name for it—she flew! How she could whirl a buggy along! I started + her out once, sir—Colonel Bilgewater, you recollect that animal + perfectly well—I started her out about thirty or thirty-five yards + ahead of the awfullest storm I ever saw in my life, and it chased us + upwards of eighteen miles! It did, by the everlasting hills! And I'm + telling you nothing but the unvarnished truth when I say that not one + single drop of rain fell on me—not a single drop, sir! And I swear + to it! But my dog was a-swimming behind the wagon all the way!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link554" id="link554"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="554.jpg (76K)" src="images/554.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + For a week or two I stayed mostly within doors, for I seemed to meet this + person everywhere, and he had become utterly hateful to me. But one + evening I dropped in on Captain Perkins and his friends, and we had a + sociable time. About ten o'clock I chanced to be talking about a merchant + friend of mine, and without really intending it, the remark slipped out + that he was a little mean and parsimonious about paying his workmen. + Instantly, through the steam of a hot whiskey punch on the opposite side + of the room, a remembered voice shot—and for a moment I trembled on + the imminent verge of profanity: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, my dear sir, really you expose yourself when you parade that as a + surprising circumstance. Bless your heart and hide, you are ignorant of + the very A B C of meanness! ignorant as the unborn babe! ignorant as + unborn twins! You don't know anything about it! It is pitiable to see you, + sir, a well-spoken and prepossessing stranger, making such an enormous + pow-wow here about a subject concerning which your ignorance is perfectly + humiliating! Look me in the eye, if you please; look me in the eye. John + James Godfrey was the son of poor but honest parents in the State of + Mississippi—boyhood friend of mine—bosom comrade in later + years. Heaven rest his noble spirit, he is gone from us now. John James + Godfrey was hired by the Hayblossom Mining Company in California to do + some blasting for them—the "Incorporated Company of Mean Men," the + boys used to call it. + </p> + <p> + "Well, one day he drilled a hole about four feet deep and put in an awful + blast of powder, and was standing over it ramming it down with an iron + crowbar about nine foot long, when the cussed thing struck a spark and + fired the powder, and scat! away John Godfrey whizzed like a skyrocket, + him and his crowbar! Well, sir, he kept on going up in the air higher and + higher, till he didn't look any bigger than a boy—and he kept going + on up higher and higher, till he didn't look any bigger than a doll—and + he kept on going up higher and higher, till he didn't look any bigger than + a little small bee—and then he went out of sight! Presently he came + in sight again, looking like a little small bee—and he came along + down further and further, till he looked as big as a doll again—and + down further and further, till he was as big as a boy again—and + further and further, till he was a full-sized man once more; and then him + and his crowbar came a wh-izzing down and lit right exactly in the same + old tracks and went to r-ramming down, and r-ramming down, and r-ramming + down again, just the same as if nothing had happened! Now do you know, + that poor cuss warn't gone only sixteen minutes, and yet that Incorporated + Company of Mean Men DOCKED HIM FOR THE LOST TIME!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link555" id="link555"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="555.jpg (42K)" src="images/555.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + I said I had the headache, and so excused myself and went home. And on my + diary I entered "another night spoiled" by this offensive loafer. And a + fervent curse was set down with it to keep the item company. And the very + next day I packed up, out of all patience, and left the Island. + </p> + <p> + Almost from the very beginning, I regarded that man as a liar. + </p> + <p> + The line of points represents an interval of years. At the end of which + time the opinion hazarded in that last sentence came to be gratifyingly + and remarkably endorsed, and by wholly disinterested persons. The man + Markiss was found one morning hanging to a beam of his own bedroom (the + doors and windows securely fastened on the inside), dead; and on his + breast was pinned a paper in his own handwriting begging his friends to + suspect no innocent person of having any thing to do with his death, for + that it was the work of his own hands entirely. Yet the jury brought in + the astounding verdict that deceased came to his death "by the hands of + some person or persons unknown!" They explained that the perfectly + undeviating consistency of Markiss's character for thirty years towered + aloft as colossal and indestructible testimony, that whatever statement he + chose to make was entitled to instant and unquestioning acceptance as a + lie. And they furthermore stated their belief that he was not dead, and + instanced the strong circumstantial evidence of his own word that he was + dead—and beseeched the coroner to delay the funeral as long as + possible, which was done. And so in the tropical climate of Lahaina the + coffin stood open for seven days, and then even the loyal jury gave him + up. But they sat on him again, and changed their verdict to "suicide + induced by mental aberration"—because, said they, with penetration, + "he said he was dead, and he was dead; and would he have told the truth if + he had been in his right mind? No, sir." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link557" id="link557"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="557.jpg (26K)" src="images/557.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkch78" id="linkch78"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + After half a year's luxurious vagrancy in the islands, I took shipping in + a sailing vessel, and regretfully returned to San Francisco—a voyage + in every way delightful, but without an incident: unless lying two long + weeks in a dead calm, eighteen hundred miles from the nearest land, may + rank as an incident. Schools of whales grew so tame that day after day + they played about the ship among the porpoises and the sharks without the + least apparent fear of us, and we pelted them with empty bottles for lack + of better sport. Twenty-four hours afterward these bottles would be still + lying on the glassy water under our noses, showing that the ship had not + moved out of her place in all that time. The calm was absolutely + breathless, and the surface of the sea absolutely without a wrinkle. For a + whole day and part of a night we lay so close to another ship that had + drifted to our vicinity, that we carried on conversations with her + passengers, introduced each other by name, and became pretty intimately + acquainted with people we had never heard of before, and have never heard + of since. This was the only vessel we saw during the whole lonely voyage. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link559" id="link559"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="559.jpg (91K)" src="images/559.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + We had fifteen passengers, and to show how hard pressed they were at last + for occupation and amusement, I will mention that the gentlemen gave a + good part of their time every day, during the calm, to trying to sit on an + empty champagne bottle (lying on its side), and thread a needle without + touching their heels to the deck, or falling over; and the ladies sat in + the shade of the mainsail, and watched the enterprise with absorbing + interest. We were at sea five Sundays; and yet, but for the almanac, we + never would have known but that all the other days were Sundays too. + </p> + <p> + I was home again, in San Francisco, without means and without employment. + I tortured my brain for a saving scheme of some kind, and at last a public + lecture occurred to me! I sat down and wrote one, in a fever of hopeful + anticipation. I showed it to several friends, but they all shook their + heads. They said nobody would come to hear me, and I would make a + humiliating failure of it. + </p> + <p> + They said that as I had never spoken in public, I would break down in the + delivery, anyhow. I was disconsolate now. But at last an editor slapped me + on the back and told me to "go ahead." He said, "Take the largest house in + town, and charge a dollar a ticket." The audacity of the proposition was + charming; it seemed fraught with practical worldly wisdom, however. The + proprietor of the several theatres endorsed the advice, and said I might + have his handsome new opera-house at half price—fifty dollars. In + sheer desperation I took it—on credit, for sufficient reasons. In + three days I did a hundred and fifty dollars' worth of printing and + advertising, and was the most distressed and frightened creature on the + Pacific coast. I could not sleep—who could, under such + circumstances? For other people there was facetiousness in the last line + of my posters, but to me it was plaintive with a pang when I wrote it: + </p> + <p> + "Doors open at 7 1/2. The trouble will begin at 8." + </p> + <p> + That line has done good service since. Showmen have borrowed it + frequently. I have even seen it appended to a newspaper advertisement + reminding school pupils in vacation what time next term would begin. As + those three days of suspense dragged by, I grew more and more unhappy. I + had sold two hundred tickets among my personal friends, but I feared they + might not come. My lecture, which had seemed "humorous" to me, at first, + grew steadily more and more dreary, till not a vestige of fun seemed left, + and I grieved that I could not bring a coffin on the stage and turn the + thing into a funeral. I was so panic-stricken, at last, that I went to + three old friends, giants in stature, cordial by nature, and + stormy-voiced, and said: + </p> + <p> + "This thing is going to be a failure; the jokes in it are so dim that + nobody will ever see them; I would like to have you sit in the parquette, + and help me through." + </p> + <p> + They said they would. Then I went to the wife of a popular citizen, and + said that if she was willing to do me a very great kindness, I would be + glad if she and her husband would sit prominently in the left-hand stage- + box, where the whole house could see them. I explained that I should need + help, and would turn toward her and smile, as a signal, when I had been + delivered of an obscure joke—"and then," I added, "don't wait to + investigate, but respond!" + </p> + <p> + She promised. Down the street I met a man I never had seen before. He had + been drinking, and was beaming with smiles and good nature. He said: + </p> + <p> + "My name's Sawyer. You don't know me, but that don't matter. I haven't got + a cent, but if you knew how bad I wanted to laugh, you'd give me a ticket. + Come, now, what do you say?" + </p> + <p> + "Is your laugh hung on a hair-trigger?—that is, is it critical, or + can you get it off easy?" + </p> + <p> + My drawling infirmity of speech so affected him that he laughed a specimen + or two that struck me as being about the article I wanted, and I gave him + a ticket, and appointed him to sit in the second circle, in the centre, + and be responsible for that division of the house. I gave him minute + instructions about how to detect indistinct jokes, and then went away, and + left him chuckling placidly over the novelty of the idea. + </p> + <p> + I ate nothing on the last of the three eventful days—I only + suffered. I had advertised that on this third day the box-office would be + opened for the sale of reserved seats. I crept down to the theater at four + in the afternoon to see if any sales had been made. The ticket seller was + gone, the box-office was locked up. I had to swallow suddenly, or my heart + would have got out. "No sales," I said to myself; "I might have known it." + I thought of suicide, pretended illness, flight. I thought of these things + in earnest, for I was very miserable and scared. But of course I had to + drive them away, and prepare to meet my fate. I could not wait for + half-past seven—I wanted to face the horror, and end it—the + feeling of many a man doomed to hang, no doubt. I went down back streets + at six o'clock, and entered the theatre by the back door. I stumbled my + way in the dark among the ranks of canvas scenery, and stood on the stage. + The house was gloomy and silent, and its emptiness depressing. I went into + the dark among the scenes again, and for an hour and a half gave myself up + to the horrors, wholly unconscious of everything else. Then I heard a + murmur; it rose higher and higher, and ended in a crash, mingled with + cheers. It made my hair raise, it was so close to me, and so loud. + </p> + <p> + There was a pause, and then another; presently came a third, and before I + well knew what I was about, I was in the middle of the stage, staring at a + sea of faces, bewildered by the fierce glare of the lights, and quaking in + every limb with a terror that seemed like to take my life away. The house + was full, aisles and all! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link561" id="link561"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="561.jpg (45K)" src="images/561.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + The tumult in my heart and brain and legs continued a full minute before I + could gain any command over myself. Then I recognized the charity and the + friendliness in the faces before me, and little by little my fright melted + away, and I began to talk Within three or four minutes I was comfortable, + and even content. My three chief allies, with three auxiliaries, were on + hand, in the parquette, all sitting together, all armed with bludgeons, + and all ready to make an onslaught upon the feeblest joke that might show + its head. And whenever a joke did fall, their bludgeons came down and + their faces seemed to split from ear to ear. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link562" id="link562"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="562.jpg (153K)" src="images/562.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + Sawyer, whose hearty countenance was seen looming redly in the centre of + the second circle, took it up, and the house was carried handsomely. + Inferior jokes never fared so royally before. Presently I delivered a bit + of serious matter with impressive unction (it was my pet), and the + audience listened with an absorbed hush that gratified me more than any + applause; and as I dropped the last word of the clause, I happened to turn + and catch Mrs.—'s intent and waiting eye; my conversation with her + flashed upon me, and in spite of all I could do I smiled. She took it for + the signal, and promptly delivered a mellow laugh that touched off the + whole audience; and the explosion that followed was the triumph of the + evening. I thought that that honest man Sawyer would choke himself; and as + for the bludgeons, they performed like pile-drivers. But my poor little + morsel of pathos was ruined. It was taken in good faith as an intentional + joke, and the prize one of the entertainment, and I wisely let it go at + that. + </p> + <p> + All the papers were kind in the morning; my appetite returned; I had a + abundance of money. All's well that ends well. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a name="linkch79" id="linkch79"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + CHAPTER LXXIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + I launched out as a lecturer, now, with great boldness. I had the field + all to myself, for public lectures were almost an unknown commodity in the + Pacific market. They are not so rare, now, I suppose. I took an old + personal friend along to play agent for me, and for two or three weeks we + roamed through Nevada and California and had a very cheerful time of it. + Two days before I lectured in Virginia City, two stagecoaches were robbed + within two miles of the town. The daring act was committed just at dawn, + by six masked men, who sprang up alongside the coaches, presented + revolvers at the heads of the drivers and passengers, and commanded a + general dismount. Everybody climbed down, and the robbers took their + watches and every cent they had. Then they took gunpowder and blew up the + express specie boxes and got their contents. The leader of the robbers was + a small, quick-spoken man, and the fame of his vigorous manner and his + intrepidity was in everybody's mouth when we arrived. + </p> + <p> + The night after instructing Virginia, I walked over the desolate "divide" + and down to Gold Hill, and lectured there. The lecture done, I stopped to + talk with a friend, and did not start back till eleven. The "divide" was + high, unoccupied ground, between the towns, the scene of twenty midnight + murders and a hundred robberies. As we climbed up and stepped out on this + eminence, the Gold Hill lights dropped out of sight at our backs, and the + night closed down gloomy and dismal. A sharp wind swept the place, too, + and chilled our perspiring bodies through. + </p> + <p> + "I tell you I don't like this place at night," said Mike the agent. + </p> + <p> + "Well, don't speak so loud," I said. "You needn't remind anybody that we + are here." + </p> + <p> + Just then a dim figure approached me from the direction of Virginia—a + man, evidently. He came straight at me, and I stepped aside to let him + pass; he stepped in the way and confronted me again. Then I saw that he + had a mask on and was holding something in my face—I heard a + click-click and recognized a revolver in dim outline. I pushed the barrel + aside with my hand and said: + </p> + <p> + "Don't!" + </p> + <p> + He ejaculated sharply: + </p> + <p> + "Your watch! Your money!" + </p> + <p> + I said: + </p> + <p> + "You can have them with pleasure—but take the pistol away from my + face, please. It makes me shiver." + </p> + <p> + "No remarks! Hand out your money!" + </p> + <p> + "Certainly—I—" + </p> + <p> + "Put up your hands! Don't you go for a weapon! Put 'em up! Higher!" + </p> + <p> + I held them above my head. + </p> + <p> + A pause. Then: + </p> + <p> + "Are you going to hand out your money or not?" + </p> + <p> + I dropped my hands to my pockets and said: + </p> + <p> + Certainly! I—" + </p> + <p> + "Put up your hands! Do you want your head blown off? Higher!" + </p> + <p> + I put them above my head again. + </p> + <p> + Another pause. + </p> + <p> + Are you going to hand out your money or not? Ah-ah—again? Put up + your hands! By George, you want the head shot off you awful bad!" + </p> + <p> + "Well, friend, I'm trying my best to please you. You tell me to give up my + money, and when I reach for it you tell me to put up my hands. If you + would only—. Oh, now—don't! All six of you at me! That other + man will get away while.—Now please take some of those revolvers out + of my face—do, if you please! Every time one of them clicks, my + liver comes up into my throat! If you have a mother—any of you—or + if any of you have ever had a mother—or a—grandmother—or + a—" + </p> + <p> + "Cheese it! Will you give up your money, or have we got to—. There—there—none + of that! Put up your hands!" + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen—I know you are gentlemen by your—" + </p> + <p> + "Silence! If you want to be facetious, young man, there are times and + places more fitting. This is a serious business." + </p> + <p> + "You prick the marrow of my opinion. The funerals I have attended in my + time were comedies compared to it. Now I think—" + </p> + <p> + "Curse your palaver! Your money!—your money!—your money! Hold!—put + up your hands!" + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, listen to reason. You see how I am situated—now don't + put those pistols so close—I smell the powder. + </p> + <p> + "You see how I am situated. If I had four hands—so that I could hold + up two and—" + </p> + <p> + "Throttle him! Gag him! Kill him!" + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, don't! Nobody's watching the other fellow. Why don't some of + you—. Ouch! Take it away, please! + </p> + <p> + "Gentlemen, you see that I've got to hold up my hands; and so I can't take + out my money—but if you'll be so kind as to take it out for me, I + will do as much for you some—" + </p> + <p> + "Search him Beauregard—and stop his jaw with a bullet, quick, if he + wags it again. Help Beauregard, Stonewall." + </p> + <p> + Then three of them, with the small, spry leader, adjourned to Mike and + fell to searching him. I was so excited that my lawless fancy tortured me + to ask my two men all manner of facetious questions about their rebel + brother-generals of the South, but, considering the order they had + received, it was but common prudence to keep still. When everything had + been taken from me,—watch, money, and a multitude of trifles of + small value,—I supposed I was free, and forthwith put my cold hands + into my empty pockets and began an inoffensive jig to warm my feet and + stir up some latent courage—but instantly all pistols were at my + head, and the order came again: + </p> + <p> + <a name="link567" id="link567"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="567.jpg (72K)" src="images/567.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + They stood Mike up alongside of me, with strict orders to keep his hands + above his head, too, and then the chief highwayman said: + </p> + <p> + "Beauregard, hide behind that boulder; Phil Sheridan, you hide behind that + other one; Stonewall Jackson, put yourself behind that sage-bush there. + Keep your pistols bearing on these fellows, and if they take down their + hands within ten minutes, or move a single peg, let them have it!" + </p> + <p> + Then three disappeared in the gloom toward the several ambushes, and the + other three disappeared down the road toward Virginia. + </p> + <p> + It was depressingly still, and miserably cold. Now this whole thing was a + practical joke, and the robbers were personal friends of ours in disguise, + and twenty more lay hidden within ten feet of us during the whole + operation, listening. Mike knew all this, and was in the joke, but I + suspected nothing of it. To me it was most uncomfortably genuine. When we + had stood there in the middle of the road five minutes, like a couple of + idiots, with our hands aloft, freezing to death by inches, Mike's interest + in the joke began to wane. He said: + </p> + <p> + "The time's up, now, aint it?" + </p> + <p> + "No, you keep still. Do you want to take any chances with these bloody + savages?" + </p> + <p> + Presently Mike said: + </p> + <p> + "Now the time's up, anyway. I'm freezing." + </p> + <p> + "Well freeze. Better freeze than carry your brains home in a basket. Maybe + the time is up, but how do we know?—got no watch to tell by. I mean + to give them good measure. I calculate to stand here fifteen minutes or + die. Don't you move." + </p> + <p> + So, without knowing it, I was making one joker very sick of his contract. + When we took our arms down at last, they were aching with cold and + fatigue, and when we went sneaking off, the dread I was in that the time + might not yet be up and that we would feel bullets in a moment, was not + sufficient to draw all my attention from the misery that racked my + stiffened body. + </p> + <p> + The joke of these highwayman friends of ours was mainly a joke upon + themselves; for they had waited for me on the cold hill-top two full hours + before I came, and there was very little fun in that; they were so chilled + that it took them a couple of weeks to get warm again. Moreover, I never + had a thought that they would kill me to get money which it was so + perfectly easy to get without any such folly, and so they did not really + frighten me bad enough to make their enjoyment worth the trouble they had + taken. I was only afraid that their weapons would go off accidentally. + Their very numbers inspired me with confidence that no blood would be + intentionally spilled. They were not smart; they ought to have sent only + one highwayman, with a double-barrelled shot gun, if they desired to see + the author of this volume climb a tree. + </p> + <p> + However, I suppose that in the long run I got the largest share of the + joke at last; and in a shape not foreseen by the highwaymen; for the + chilly exposure on the "divide" while I was in a perspiration gave me a + cold which developed itself into a troublesome disease and kept my hands + idle some three months, besides costing me quite a sum in doctor's bills. + Since then I play no practical jokes on people and generally lose my + temper when one is played upon me. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link569" id="link569"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="569.jpg (39K)" src="images/569.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <p> + When I returned to San Francisco I projected a pleasure journey to Japan + and thence westward around the world; but a desire to see home again + changed my mind, and I took a berth in the steamship, bade good-bye to the + friendliest land and livest, heartiest community on our continent, and + came by the way of the Isthmus to New York—a trip that was not much + of a pic-nic excursion, for the cholera broke out among us on the passage + and we buried two or three bodies at sea every day. I found home a dreary + place after my long absence; for half the children I had known were now + wearing whiskers or waterfalls, and few of the grown people I had been + acquainted with remained at their hearthstones prosperous and happy—some + of them had wandered to other scenes, some were in jail, and the rest had + been hanged. These changes touched me deeply, and I went away and joined + the famous Quaker City European Excursion and carried my tears to foreign + lands. + </p> + <p> + Thus, after seven years of vicissitudes, ended a "pleasure trip" to the + silver mines of Nevada which had originally been intended to occupy only + three months. However, I usually miss my calculations further than that. + </p> + <p> + MORAL. + </p> + <p> + If the reader thinks he is done, now, and that this book has no moral to + it, he is in error. The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, + stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence; but if you are "no + account," go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you + want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to + be a nuisance to them—if the people you go among suffer by the + operation. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link570" id="link570"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <div class="fig" style="width:80%;"> + <img alt="570.jpg (75K)" src="images/570.jpg" width="100%" /><br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <a name="linkAPPENDIX" id="linkAPPENDIX"></a> <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + APPENDIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + APPENDIX. A. + </p> + <p> + BRIEF SKETCH OF MORMON HISTORY. + </p> + <p> + Mormonism is only about forty years old, but its career has been full of + stir and adventure from the beginning, and is likely to remain so to the + end. Its adherents have been hunted and hounded from one end of the + country to the other, and the result is that for years they have hated all + "Gentiles" indiscriminately and with all their might. Joseph Smith, the + finder of the Book of Mormon and founder of the religion, was driven from + State to State with his mysterious copperplates and the miraculous stones + he read their inscriptions with. Finally he instituted his "church" in + Ohio and Brigham Young joined it. The neighbors began to persecute, and + apostasy commenced. Brigham held to the faith and worked hard. He arrested + desertion. He did more—he added converts in the midst of the + trouble. He rose in favor and importance with the brethren. He was made + one of the Twelve Apostles of the Church. He shortly fought his way to a + higher post and a more powerful—President of the Twelve. The + neighbors rose up and drove the Mormons out of Ohio, and they settled in + Missouri. Brigham went with them. The Missourians drove them out and they + retreated to Nauvoo, Illinois. They prospered there, and built a temple + which made some pretensions to architectural grace and achieved some + celebrity in a section of country where a brick court-house with a tin + dome and a cupola on it was contemplated with reverential awe. But the + Mormons were badgered and harried again by their neighbors. All the + proclamations Joseph Smith could issue denouncing polygamy and repudiating + it as utterly anti-Mormon were of no avail; the people of the + neighborhood, on both sides of the Mississippi, claimed that polygamy was + practised by the Mormons, and not only polygamy but a little of everything + that was bad. Brigham returned from a mission to England, where he had + established a Mormon newspaper, and he brought back with him several + hundred converts to his preaching. His influence among the brethren + augmented with every move he made. Finally Nauvoo was invaded by the + Missouri and Illinois Gentiles, and Joseph Smith killed. A Mormon named + Rigdon assumed the Presidency of the Mormon church and government, in + Smith's place, and even tried his hand at a prophecy or two. But a greater + than he was at hand. Brigham seized the advantage of the hour and without + other authority than superior brain and nerve and will, hurled Rigdon from + his high place and occupied it himself. He did more. He launched an + elaborate curse at Rigdon and his disciples; and he pronounced Rigdon's + "prophecies" emanations from the devil, and ended by "handing the false + prophet over to the buffetings of Satan for a thousand years"—probably + the longest term ever inflicted in Illinois. The people recognized their + master. They straightway elected Brigham Young President, by a prodigious + majority, and have never faltered in their devotion to him from that day + to this. Brigham had forecast—a quality which no other prominent + Mormon has probably ever possessed. He recognized that it was better to + move to the wilderness than be moved. By his command the people gathered + together their meagre effects, turned their backs upon their homes, and + their faces toward the wilderness, and on a bitter night in February filed + in sorrowful procession across the frozen Mississippi, lighted on their + way by the glare from their burning temple, whose sacred furniture their + own hands had fired! They camped, several days afterward, on the western + verge of Iowa, and poverty, want, hunger, cold, sickness, grief and + persecution did their work, and many succumbed and died—martyrs, + fair and true, whatever else they might have been. Two years the remnant + remained there, while Brigham and a small party crossed the country and + founded Great Salt Lake City, purposely choosing a land which was outside + the ownership and jurisdiction of the hated American nation. Note that. + This was in 1847. Brigham moved his people there and got them settled just + in time to see disaster fall again. For the war closed and Mexico ceded + Brigham's refuge to the enemy—the United States! In 1849 the Mormons + organized a "free and independent" government and erected the "State of + Deseret," with Brigham Young as its head. But the very next year Congress + deliberately snubbed it and created the "Territory of Utah" out of the + same accumulation of mountains, sage-brush, alkali and general desolation,—but + made Brigham Governor of it. Then for years the enormous migration across + the plains to California poured through the land of the Mormons and yet + the church remained staunch and true to its lord and master. Neither + hunger, thirst, poverty, grief, hatred, contempt, nor persecution could + drive the Mormons from their faith or their allegiance; and even the + thirst for gold, which gleaned the flower of the youth and strength of + many nations was not able to entice them! That was the final test. An + experiment that could survive that was an experiment with some substance + to it somewhere. + </p> + <p> + Great Salt Lake City throve finely, and so did Utah. One of the last + things which Brigham Young had done before leaving Iowa, was to appear in + the pulpit dressed to personate the worshipped and lamented prophet Smith, + and confer the prophetic succession, with all its dignities, emoluments + and authorities, upon "President Brigham Young!" The people accepted the + pious fraud with the maddest enthusiasm, and Brigham's power was sealed + and secured for all time. Within five years afterward he openly added + polygamy to the tenets of the church by authority of a "revelation" which + he pretended had been received nine years before by Joseph Smith, albeit + Joseph is amply on record as denouncing polygamy to the day of his death. + </p> + <p> + Now was Brigham become a second Andrew Johnson in the small beginning and + steady progress of his official grandeur. He had served successively as a + disciple in the ranks; home missionary; foreign missionary; editor and + publisher; Apostle; President of the Board of Apostles; President of all + Mormondom, civil and ecclesiastical; successor to the great Joseph by the + will of heaven; "prophet," "seer," "revelator." There was but one dignity + higher which he could aspire to, and he reached out modestly and took that—he + proclaimed himself a God! + </p> + <p> + He claims that he is to have a heaven of his own hereafter, and that he + will be its God, and his wives and children its goddesses, princes and + princesses. Into it all faithful Mormons will be admitted, with their + families, and will take rank and consequence according to the number of + their wives and children. If a disciple dies before he has had time to + accumulate enough wives and children to enable him to be respectable in + the next world any friend can marry a few wives and raise a few children + for him after he is dead, and they are duly credited to his account and + his heavenly status advanced accordingly. + </p> + <p> + Let it be borne in mind that the majority of the Mormons have always been + ignorant, simple, of an inferior order of intellect, unacquainted with the + world and its ways; and let it be borne in mind that the wives of these + Mormons are necessarily after the same pattern and their children likely + to be fit representatives of such a conjunction; and then let it be + remembered that for forty years these creatures have been driven, driven, + driven, relentlessly! and mobbed, beaten, and shot down; cursed, despised, + expatriated; banished to a remote desert, whither they journeyed gaunt + with famine and disease, disturbing the ancient solitudes with their + lamentations and marking the long way with graves of their dead—and + all because they were simply trying to live and worship God in the way + which they believed with all their hearts and souls to be the true one. + Let all these things be borne in mind, and then it will not be hard to + account for the deathless hatred which the Mormons bear our people and our + government. + </p> + <p> + That hatred has "fed fat its ancient grudge" ever since Mormon Utah + developed into a self-supporting realm and the church waxed rich and + strong. Brigham as Territorial Governor made it plain that Mormondom was + for the Mormons. The United States tried to rectify all that by appointing + territorial officers from New England and other anti-Mormon localities, + but Brigham prepared to make their entrance into his dominions difficult. + Three thousand United States troops had to go across the plains and put + these gentlemen in office. And after they were in office they were as + helpless as so many stone images. They made laws which nobody minded and + which could not be executed. The federal judges opened court in a land + filled with crime and violence and sat as holiday spectacles for insolent + crowds to gape at—for there was nothing to try, nothing to do + nothing on the dockets! And if a Gentile brought a suit, the Mormon jury + would do just as it pleased about bringing in a verdict, and when the + judgment of the court was rendered no Mormon cared for it and no officer + could execute it. Our Presidents shipped one cargo of officials after + another to Utah, but the result was always the same—they sat in a + blight for awhile they fairly feasted on scowls and insults day by day, + they saw every attempt to do their official duties find its reward in + darker and darker looks, and in secret threats and warnings of a more and + more dismal nature—and at last they either succumbed and became + despised tools and toys of the Mormons, or got scared and discomforted + beyond all endurance and left the Territory. If a brave officer kept on + courageously till his pluck was proven, some pliant Buchanan or Pierce + would remove him and appoint a stick in his place. In 1857 General Harney + came very near being appointed Governor of Utah. And so it came very near + being Harney governor and Cradlebaugh judge!—two men who never had + any idea of fear further than the sort of murky comprehension of it which + they were enabled to gather from the dictionary. Simply (if for nothing + else) for the variety they would have made in a rather monotonous history + of Federal servility and helplessness, it is a pity they were not fated to + hold office together in Utah. + </p> + <p> + Up to the date of our visit to Utah, such had been the Territorial record. + The Territorial government established there had been a hopeless failure, + and Brigham Young was the only real power in the land. He was an absolute + monarch—a monarch who defied our President—a monarch who + laughed at our armies when they camped about his capital—a monarch + who received without emotion the news that the august Congress of the + United States had enacted a solemn law against polygamy, and then went + forth calmly and married twenty-five or thirty more wives. + </p> + <p> + B. THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE. + </p> + <p> + The persecutions which the Mormons suffered so long—and which they + consider they still suffer in not being allowed to govern themselves—they + have endeavored and are still endeavoring to repay. The now almost + forgotten "Mountain Meadows massacre" was their work. It was very famous + in its day. The whole United States rang with its horrors. A few items + will refresh the reader's memory. A great emigrant train from Missouri and + Arkansas passed through Salt Lake City and a few disaffected Mormons + joined it for the sake of the strong protection it afforded for their + escape. In that matter lay sufficient cause for hot retaliation by the + Mormon chiefs. Besides, these one hundred and forty-five or one hundred + and fifty unsuspecting emigrants being in part from Arkansas, where a + noted Mormon missionary had lately been killed, and in part from Missouri, + a State remembered with execrations as a bitter persecutor of the saints + when they were few and poor and friendless, here were substantial + additional grounds for lack of love for these wayfarers. And finally, this + train was rich, very rich in cattle, horses, mules and other property—and + how could the Mormons consistently keep up their coveted resemblance to + the Israelitish tribes and not seize the "spoil" of an enemy when the Lord + had so manifestly "delivered it into their hand?" + </p> + <p> + Wherefore, according to Mrs. C. V. Waite's entertaining book, "The Mormon + Prophet," it transpired that— + </p> + <p> + "A 'revelation' from Brigham Young, as Great Grand Archee or God, was + dispatched to President J. C. Haight, Bishop Higbee and J. D. Lee (adopted + son of Brigham), commanding them to raise all the forces they could muster + and trust, follow those cursed Gentiles (so read the revelation), attack + them disguised as Indians, and with the arrows of the Almighty make a + clean sweep of them, and leave none to tell the tale; and if they needed + any assistance they were commanded to hire the Indians as their allies, + promising them a share of the booty. They were to be neither slothful nor + negligent in their duty, and to be punctual in sending the teams back to + him before winter set in, for this was the mandate of Almighty God." + </p> + <p> + The command of the "revelation" was faithfully obeyed. A large party of + Mormons, painted and tricked out as Indians, overtook the train of + emigrant wagons some three hundred miles south of Salt Lake City, and made + an attack. But the emigrants threw up earthworks, made fortresses of their + wagons and defended themselves gallantly and successfully for five days! + Your Missouri or Arkansas gentleman is not much afraid of the sort of + scurvy apologies for "Indians" which the southern part of Utah affords. He + would stand up and fight five hundred of them. + </p> + <p> + At the end of the five days the Mormons tried military strategy. They + retired to the upper end of the "Meadows," resumed civilized apparel, + washed off their paint, and then, heavily armed, drove down in wagons to + the beleaguered emigrants, bearing a flag of truce! When the emigrants saw + white men coming they threw down their guns and welcomed them with cheer + after cheer! And, all unconscious of the poetry of it, no doubt, they + lifted a little child aloft, dressed in white, in answer to the flag of + truce! + </p> + <p> + The leaders of the timely white "deliverers" were President Haight and + Bishop John D. Lee, of the Mormon Church. Mr. Cradlebaugh, who served a + term as a Federal Judge in Utah and afterward was sent to Congress from + Nevada, tells in a speech delivered in Congress how these leaders next + proceeded: + </p> + <p> + "They professed to be on good terms with the Indians, and represented them + as being very mad. They also proposed to intercede and settle the matter + with the Indians. After several hours parley they, having (apparently) + visited the Indians, gave the ultimatum of the savages; which was, that + the emigrants should march out of their camp, leaving everything behind + them, even their guns. It was promised by the Mormon bishops that they + would bring a force and guard the emigrants back to the settlements. The + terms were agreed to, the emigrants being desirous of saving the lives of + their families. The Mormons retired, and subsequently appeared with thirty + or forty armed men. The emigrants were marched out, the women and children + in front and the men behind, the Mormon guard being in the rear. When they + had marched in this way about a mile, at a given signal the slaughter + commenced. The men were almost all shot down at the first fire from the + guard. Two only escaped, who fled to the desert, and were followed one + hundred and fifty miles before they were overtaken and slaughtered. The + women and children ran on, two or three hundred yards further, when they + were overtaken and with the aid of the Indians they were slaughtered. + Seventeen individuals only, of all the emigrant party, were spared, and + they were little children, the eldest of them being only seven years old. + Thus, on the 10th day of September, 1857, was consummated one of the most + cruel, cowardly and bloody murders known in our history." + </p> + <p> + The number of persons butchered by the Mormons on this occasion was one + hundred and twenty. + </p> + <p> + With unheard-of temerity Judge Cradlebaugh opened his court and proceeded + to make Mormondom answer for the massacre. And what a spectacle it must + have been to see this grim veteran, solitary and alone in his pride and + his pluck, glowering down on his Mormon jury and Mormon auditory, deriding + them by turns, and by turns "breathing threatenings and slaughter!" + </p> + <p> + An editorial in the Territorial Enterprise of that day says of him and of + the occasion: + </p> + <p> + "He spoke and acted with the fearlessness and resolution of a Jackson; but + the jury failed to indict, or even report on the charges, while threats of + violence were heard in every quarter, and an attack on the U.S. troops + intimated, if he persisted in his course. + </p> + <p> + "Finding that nothing could be done with the juries, they were discharged + with a scathing rebuke from the judge. And then, sitting as a committing + magistrate, he commenced his task alone. He examined witnesses, made + arrests in every quarter, and created a consternation in the camps of the + saints greater than any they had ever witnessed before, since Mormondom + was born. At last accounts terrified elders and bishops were decamping to + save their necks; and developments of the most starling character were + being made, implicating the highest Church dignitaries in the many murders + and robberies committed upon the Gentiles during the past eight years." + </p> + <p> + Had Harney been Governor, Cradlebaugh would have been supported in his + work, and the absolute proofs adduced by him of Mormon guilt in this + massacre and in a number of previous murders, would have conferred + gratuitous coffins upon certain citizens, together with occasion to use + them. But Cumming was the Federal Governor, and he, under a curious + pretense of impartiality, sought to screen the Mormons from the demands of + justice. On one occasion he even went so far as to publish his protest + against the use of the U.S. troops in aid of Cradlebaugh's proceedings. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. C. V. Waite closes her interesting detail of the great massacre with + the following remark and accompanying summary of the testimony—and + the summary is concise, accurate and reliable: + </p> + <p> + "For the benefit of those who may still be disposed to doubt the guilt of + Young and his Mormons in this transaction, the testimony is here collated + and circumstances given which go not merely to implicate but to fasten + conviction upon them by 'confirmations strong as proofs of Holy Writ:' + </p> + <p> + "1. The evidence of Mormons themselves, engaged in the affair, as shown by + the statements of Judge Cradlebaugh and Deputy U.S. Marshall Rodgers. + </p> + <p> + "2. The failure of Brigham Young to embody any account of it in his Report + as Superintendent of Indian Affairs. Also his failure to make any allusion + to it whatever from the pulpit, until several years after the occurrence + </p> + <p> + "3. The flight to the mountains of men high in authority in the Mormon + Church and State, when this affair was brought to the ordeal of a judicial + investigation. + </p> + <p> + "4. The failure of the Deseret News, the Church organ, and the only paper + then published in the Territory, to notice the massacre until several + months afterward, and then only to deny that Mormons were engaged in it. + </p> + <p> + "5. The testimony of the children saved from the massacre. + </p> + <p> + "6. The children and the property of the emigrants found in possession of + the Mormons, and that possession traced back to the very day after the + massacre. + </p> + <p> + "7. The statements of Indians in the neighborhood of the scene of the + massacre: these statements are shown, not only by Cradlebaugh and Rodgers, + but by a number of military officers, and by J. Forney, who was, in 1859, + Superintendent of Indian Affairs for the Territory. To all these were such + statements freely and frequently made by the Indians. + </p> + <p> + "8. The testimony of R. P. Campbell, Capt. 2d Dragoons, who was sent in + the Spring of 1859 to Santa Clara, to protect travelers on the road to + California and to inquire into Indian depredations." + </p> + <p> + C. CONCERNING A FRIGHTFUL ASSASSINATION THAT WAS NEVER CONSUMMATED + </p> + <p> + If ever there was a harmless man, it is Conrad Wiegand, of Gold Hill, + Nevada. If ever there was a gentle spirit that thought itself unfired + gunpowder and latent ruin, it is Conrad Wiegand. If ever there was an + oyster that fancied itself a whale; or a jack-o'lantern, confined to a + swamp, that fancied itself a planet with a billion-mile orbit; or a summer + zephyr that deemed itself a hurricane, it is Conrad Wiegand. Therefore, + what wonder is it that when he says a thing, he thinks the world listens; + that when he does a thing the world stands still to look; and that when he + suffers, there is a convulsion of nature? When I met Conrad, he was + "Superintendent of the Gold Hill Assay Office"—and he was not only + its Superintendent, but its entire force. And he was a street preacher, + too, with a mongrel religion of his own invention, whereby he expected to + regenerate the universe. This was years ago. Here latterly he has entered + journalism; and his journalism is what it might be expected to be: + colossal to ear, but pigmy to the eye. It is extravagant grandiloquence + confined to a newspaper about the size of a double letter sheet. He + doubtless edits, sets the type, and prints his paper, all alone; but he + delights to speak of the concern as if it occupies a block and employs a + thousand men. + </p> + <p> + [Something less than two years ago, Conrad assailed several people + mercilessly in his little "People's Tribune," and got himself into + trouble. Straightway he airs the affair in the "Territorial Enterprise," + in a communication over his own signature, and I propose to reproduce it + here, in all its native simplicity and more than human candor. Long as it + is, it is well worth reading, for it is the richest specimen of + journalistic literature the history of America can furnish, perhaps:] + </p> + <p> + From the Territorial Enterprise, Jan. 20, 1870. + </p> + <blockquote> + <h4> + SEEMING PLOT FOR ASSASSINATION MISCARRIED. + </h4> + <p> + TO THE EDITOR OF THE ENTERPRISE: Months ago, when Mr. Sutro incidentally + exposed mining management on the Comstock, and among others roused me to + protest against its continuance, in great kindness you warned me that + any attempt by publications, by public meetings and by legislative + action, aimed at the correction of chronic mining evils in Storey + County, must entail upon me (a) business ruin, (b) the burden of all its + costs, (c) personal violence, and if my purpose were persisted in, then + (d) assassination, and after all nothing would be effected. + </p> + <p> + YOUR PROPHECY FULFILLING. In large part at least your prophecies have + been fulfilled, for (a) assaying, which was well attended to in the Gold + Hill Assay Office (of which I am superintendent), in consequence of my + publications, has been taken elsewhere, so the President of one of the + companies assures me. With no reason assigned, other work has been taken + away. With but one or two important exceptions, our assay business now + consists simply of the gleanings of the vicinity. (b) Though my own + personal donations to the People's Tribune Association have already + exceeded $1,500, outside of our own numbers we have received (in money) + less than $300 as contributions and subscriptions for the journal. (c) + On Thursday last, on the main street in Gold Hill, near noon, with + neither warning nor cause assigned, by a powerful blow I was felled to + the ground, and while down I was kicked by a man who it would seem had + been led to believe that I had spoken derogatorily of him. By whom he + was so induced to believe I am as yet unable to say. On Saturday last I + was again assailed and beaten by a man who first informed me why he did + so, and who persisted in making his assault even after the erroneous + impression under which he also was at first laboring had been clearly + and repeatedly pointed out. This same man, after failing through + intimidation to elicit from me the names of our editorial contributors, + against giving which he knew me to be pledged, beat himself weary upon + me with a raw hide, I not resisting, and then pantingly threatened me + with permanent disfiguring mayhem, if ever again I should introduce his + name into print, and who but a few minutes before his attack upon me + assured me that the only reason I was "permitted" to reach home alive on + Wednesday evening last (at which time the PEOPLE'S TRIBUNE was issued) + was, that he deems me only half-witted, and be it remembered the very + next morning I was knocked down and kicked by a man who seemed to be + prepared for flight. [He sees doom impending:] + </p> + <p> + WHEN WILL THE CIRCLE JOIN? How long before the whole of your prophecy + will be fulfilled I cannot say, but under the shadow of so much + fulfillment in so short a time, and with such threats from a man who is + one of the most prominent exponents of the San Francisco mining-ring + staring me and this whole community defiantly in the face and pointing + to a completion of your augury, do you blame me for feeling that this + communication is the last I shall ever write for the Press, especially + when a sense alike of personal self- respect, of duty to this + money-oppressed and fear-ridden community, and of American fealty to the + spirit of true Liberty all command me, and each more loudly than love of + life itself, to declare the name of that prominent man to be JOHN B. + WINTERS, President of the Yellow Jacket Company, a political aspirant + and a military General? The name of his partially duped accomplice and + abettor in this last marvelous assault, is no other than PHILIP LYNCH, + Editor and Proprietor of the Gold Hill News. + </p> + <p> + Despite the insult and wrong heaped upon me by John B. Winters, on + Saturday afternoon, only a glimpse of which I shall be able to afford + your readers, so much do I deplore clinching (by publicity) a serious + mistake of any one, man or woman, committed under natural and not self- + wrought passion, in view of his great apparent excitement at the time + and in view of the almost perfect privacy of the assault, I am far from + sure that I should not have given him space for repentance before + exposing him, were it not that he himself has so far exposed the matter + as to make it the common talk of the town that he has horsewhipped me. + That fact having been made public, all the facts in connection need to + be also, or silence on my part would seem more than singular, and with + many would be proof either that I was conscious of some unworthy aim in + publishing the article, or else that my "non-combatant" principles are + but a convenient cloak alike of physical and moral cowardice. I + therefore shall try to present a graphic but truthful picture of this + whole affair, but shall forbear all comments, presuming that the editors + of our own journal, if others do not, will speak freely and fittingly + upon this subject in our next number, whether I shall then be dead or + living, for my death will not stop, though it may suspend, the + publication of the PEOPLE'S TRIBUNE. [The "non-combatant" sticks to + principle, but takes along a friend or two of a conveniently different + stripe:] + </p> + <p> + THE TRAP SET. On Saturday morning John B. Winters sent verbal word to + the Gold Hill Assay Office that he desired to see me at the Yellow + Jacket office. Though such a request struck me as decidedly cool in view + of his own recent discourtesies to me there alike as a publisher and as + a stockholder in the Yellow Jacket mine, and though it seemed to me more + like a summons than the courteous request by one gentleman to another + for a favor, hoping that some conference with Sharon looking to the + betterment of mining matters in Nevada might arise from it, I felt + strongly inclined to overlook what possibly was simply an oversight in + courtesy. But as then it had only been two days since I had been bruised + and beaten under a hasty and false apprehension of facts, my caution was + somewhat aroused. Moreover I remembered sensitively his contemptuousness + of manner to me at my last interview in his office. I therefore felt it + needful, if I went at all, to go accompanied by a friend whom he would + not dare to treat with incivility, and whose presence with me might + secure exemption from insult. Accordingly I asked a neighbor to + accompany me. + </p> + <p> + THE TRAP ALMOST DETECTED. Although I was not then aware of this fact, it + would seem that previous to my request this same neighbor had heard Dr. + Zabriskie state publicly in a saloon, that Mr. Winters had told him he + had decided either to kill or to horsewhip me, but had not finally + decided on which. My neighbor, therefore, felt unwilling to go down with + me until he had first called on Mr. Winters alone. He therefore paid him + a visit. From that interview he assured me that he gathered the + impression that he did not believe I would have any difficulty with Mr. + Winters, and that he (Winters) would call on me at four o'clock in my + own office. + </p> + <p> + MY OWN PRECAUTIONS. As Sheriff Cummings was in Gold Hill that afternoon, + and as I desired to converse with him about the previous assault, I + invited him to my office, and he came. Although a half hour had passed + beyond four o'clock, Mr. Winters had not called, and we both of us began + preparing to go home. Just then, Philip Lynch, Publisher of the Gold + Hill News, came in and said, blandly and cheerily, as if bringing good + news: + </p> + <p> + "Hello, John B. Winters wants to see you." + </p> + <p> + I replied, "Indeed! Why he sent me word that he would call on me here + this afternoon at four o'clock!" + </p> + <p> + "O, well, it don't do to be too ceremonious just now, he's in my office, + and that will do as well—come on in, Winters wants to consult with + you alone. He's got something to say to you." + </p> + <p> + Though slightly uneasy at this change of programme, yet believing that + in an editor's house I ought to be safe, and anyhow that I would be + within hail of the street, I hurriedly, and but partially whispered my + dim apprehensions to Mr. Cummings, and asked him if he would not keep + near enough to hear my voice in case I should call. He consented to do + so while waiting for some other parties, and to come in if he heard my + voice or thought I had need of protection. + </p> + <p> + On reaching the editorial part of the News office, which viewed from the + street is dark, I did not see Mr. Winters, and again my misgivings + arose. Had I paused long enough to consider the case, I should have + invited Sheriff Cummings in, but as Lynch went down stairs, he said: + "This way, Wiegand—it's best to be private," or some such remark. + </p> + <p> + [I do not desire to strain the reader's fancy, hurtfully, and yet it + would be a favor to me if he would try to fancy this lamb in battle, or + the duelling ground or at the head of a vigilance committee—M. T.:] + </p> + <p> + I followed, and without Mr. Cummings, and without arms, which I never do + or will carry, unless as a soldier in war, or unless I should yet come + to feel I must fight a duel, or to join and aid in the ranks of a + necessary Vigilance Committee. But by following I made a fatal mistake. + Following was entering a trap, and whatever animal suffers itself to be + caught should expect the common fate of a caged rat, as I fear events to + come will prove. + </p> + <p> + Traps commonly are not set for benevolence. [His body-guard is shut out:] + </p> + <p> + THE TRAP INSIDE. I followed Lynch down stairs. At their foot a door to + the left opened into a small room. From that room another door opened + into yet another room, and once entered I found myself inveigled into + what many will ever henceforth regard as a private subterranean Gold + Hill den, admirably adapted in proper hands to the purposes of murder, + raw or disguised, for from it, with both or even one door closed, when + too late, I saw that I could not be heard by Sheriff Cummings, and from + it, BY VIOLENCE AND BY FORCE, I was prevented from making a peaceable + exit, when I thought I saw the studious object of this "consultation" + was no other than to compass my killing, in the presence of Philip Lynch + as a witness, as soon as by insult a proverbially excitable man should + be exasperated to the point of assailing Mr. Winters, so that Mr. Lynch, + by his conscience and by his well known tenderness of heart toward the + rich and potent would be compelled to testify that he saw Gen. John B. + Winters kill Conrad Wiegand in "self-defence." But I am going too fast. + </p> + <p> + OUR HOST. Mr. Lynch was present during the most of the time (say a + little short of an hour), but three times he left the room. His + testimony, therefore, would be available only as to the bulk of what + transpired. On entering this carpeted den I was invited to a seat near + one corner of the room. Mr. Lynch took a seat near the window. J. B. + Winters sat (at first) near the door, and began his remarks essentially + as follows: + </p> + <p> + "I have come here to exact of you a retraction, in black and white, of + those damnably false charges which you have preferred against me in + that-—infamous lying sheet of yours, and you must declare yourself + their author, that you published them knowing them to be false, and that + your motives were malicious." + </p> + <p> + "Hold, Mr. Winters. Your language is insulting and your demand an + enormity. I trust I was not invited here either to be insulted or + coerced. I supposed myself here by invitation of Mr. Lynch, at your + request." + </p> + <p> + "Nor did I come here to insult you. I have already told you that I am + here for a very different purpose." + </p> + <p> + "Yet your language has been offensive, and even now shows strong + excitement. If insult is repeated I shall either leave the room or call + in Sheriff Cummings, whom I just left standing and waiting for me + outside the door." + </p> + <p> + "No, you won't, sir. You may just as well understand it at once as not. + Here you are my man, and I'll tell you why! Months ago you put your + property out of your hands, boasting that you did so to escape losing it + on prosecution for libel." + </p> + <p> + "It is true that I did convert all my immovable property into personal + property, such as I could trust safely to others, and chiefly to escape + ruin through possible libel suits." + </p> + <p> + "Very good, sir. Having placed yourself beyond the pale of the law, may + God help your soul if you DON'T make precisely such a retraction as I + have demanded. I've got you now, and by—before you can get out of + this room you've got to both write and sign precisely the retraction I + have demanded, and before you go, anyhow—you—-low-lived—lying—-, + I'll teach you what personal responsibility is outside of the law; and, + by—, Sheriff Cummings and all the friends you've got in the world + besides, can't save you, you—-, etc.! No, sir. I'm alone now, and + I'm prepared to be shot down just here and now rather than be villified + by you as I have been, and suffer you to escape me after publishing + those charges, not only here where I am known and universally respected, + but where I am not personally known and may be injured." + </p> + <p> + I confess this speech, with its terrible and but too plainly implied + threat of killing me if I did not sign the paper he demanded, terrified + me, especially as I saw he was working himself up to the highest + possible pitch of passion, and instinct told me that any reply other + than one of seeming concession to his demands would only be fuel to a + raging fire, so I replied: + </p> + <p> + "Well, if I've got to sign—," and then I paused some time. + Resuming, I said, "But, Mr. Winters, you are greatly excited. Besides, I + see you are laboring under a total misapprehension. It is your duty not + to inflame but to calm yourself. I am prepared to show you, if you will + only point out the article that you allude to, that you regard as + 'charges' what no calm and logical mind has any right to regard as such. + Show me the charges, and I will try, at all events; and if it becomes + plain that no charges have been preferred, then plainly there can be + nothing to retract, and no one could rightly urge you to demand a + retraction. You should beware of making so serious a mistake, for + however honest a man may be, every one is liable to misapprehend. + Besides you assume that I am the author of some certain article which + you have not pointed out. It is hasty to do so." + </p> + <p> + He then pointed to some numbered paragraphs in a TRIBUNE article, headed + "What's the Matter with Yellow Jacket?" saying "That's what I refer to." + </p> + <p> + To gain time for general reflection and resolution, I took up the paper + and looked it over for awhile, he remaining silent, and as I hoped, + cooling. I then resumed saying, "As I supposed. I do not admit having + written that article, nor have you any right to assume so important a + point, and then base important action upon your assumption. You might + deeply regret it afterwards. In my published Address to the People, I + notified the world that no information as to the authorship of any + article would be given without the consent of the writer. I therefore + cannot honorably tell you who wrote that article, nor can you exact it." + </p> + <p> + "If you are not the author, then I do demand to know who is?" + </p> + <p> + "I must decline to say." + </p> + <p> + "Then, by—, I brand you as its author, and shall treat you + accordingly." + </p> + <p> + "Passing that point, the most important misapprehension which I notice + is, that you regard them as 'charges' at all, when their context, both + at their beginning and end, show they are not. These words introduce + them: 'Such an investigation [just before indicated], we think MIGHT + result in showing some of the following points.' Then follow eleven + specifications, and the succeeding paragraph shows that the suggested + investigation 'might EXONERATE those who are generally believed guilty.' + You see, therefore, the context proves they are not preferred as + charges, and this you seem to have overlooked." + </p> + <p> + While making those comments, Mr. Winters frequently interrupted me in + such a way as to convince me that he was resolved not to consider + candidly the thoughts contained in my words. He insisted upon it that + they were charges, and "By—," he would make me take them back as + charges, and he referred the question to Philip Lynch, to whom I then + appealed as a literary man, as a logician, and as an editor, calling his + attention especially to the introductory paragraph just before quoted. + He replied, "if they are not charges, they certainly are insinuations," + whereupon Mr. Winters renewed his demands for retraction precisely such + as he had before named, except that he would allow me to state who did + write the article if I did not myself, and this time shaking his fist in + my face with more cursings and epithets. + </p> + <p> + When he threatened me with his clenched fist, instinctively I tried to + rise from my chair, but Winters then forcibly thrust me down, as he did + every other time (at least seven or eight), when under similar imminent + danger of bruising by his fist (or for aught I could know worse than + that after the first stunning blow), which he could easily and safely to + himself have dealt me so long as he kept me down and stood over me. + </p> + <p> + This fact it was, which more than anything else, convinced me that by + plan and plot I was purposely made powerless in Mr. Winters' hands, and + that he did not mean to allow me that advantage of being afoot, which he + possessed. Moreover, I then became convinced, that Philip Lynch (and for + what reason I wondered) would do absolutely nothing to protect me in his + own house. I realized then the situation thoroughly. I had found it + equally vain to protest or argue, and I would make no unmanly appeal for + pity, still less apologize. Yet my life had been by the plainest + possible implication threatened. I was a weak man. I was unarmed. I was + helplessly down, and Winters was afoot and probably armed. Lynch was the + only "witness." The statements demanded, if given and not explained, + would utterly sink me in my own self-respect, in my family's eyes, and + in the eyes of the community. On the other hand, should I give the + author's name how could I ever expect that confidence of the People + which I should no longer deserve, and how much dearer to me and to my + family was my life than the life of the real author to his friends. Yet + life seemed dear and each minute that remained seemed precious if not + solemn. I sincerely trust that neither you nor any of your readers, and + especially none with families, may ever be placed in such seeming direct + proximity to death while obliged to decide the one question I was + compelled to, viz.: What should I do—I, a man of family, and not + as Mr. Winters is, "alone." [The reader is requested not to skip the + following.—M. T.:] + </p> + <p> + STRATEGY AND MESMERISM. To gain time for further reflection, and hoping + that by a seeming acquiescence I might regain my personal liberty, at + least till I could give an alarm, or take advantage of some momentary + inadvertence of Winters, and then without a cowardly flight escape, I + resolved to write a certain kind of retraction, but previously had + inwardly decided: + </p> + <p> + First.—That I would studiously avoid every action which might be + construed into the drawing of a weapon, even by a self-infuriated man, + no matter what amount of insult might be heaped upon me, for it seemed + to me that this great excess of compound profanity, foulness and epithet + must be more than a mere indulgence, and therefore must have some + object. "Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird." + Therefore, as before without thought, I thereafter by intent kept my + hands away from my pockets, and generally in sight and spread upon my + knees. + </p> + <p> + Second.—I resolved to make no motion with my arms or hands which + could possibly be construed into aggression. + </p> + <p> + Third.—I resolved completely to govern my outward manner and + suppress indignation. To do this, I must govern my spirit. To do that, + by force of imagination I was obliged like actors on the boards to + resolve myself into an unnatural mental state and see all things through + the eyes of an assumed character. + </p> + <p> + Fourth.—I resolved to try on Winters, silently, and unconsciously + to himself a mesmeric power which I possess over certain kinds of + people, and which at times I have found to work even in the dark over + the lower animals. + </p> + <p> + Does any one smile at these last counts? God save you from ever being + obliged to beat in a game of chess, whose stake is your life, you having + but four poor pawns and pieces and your adversary with his full force + unshorn. But if you are, provided you have any strength with breadth of + will, do not despair. Though mesmeric power may not save you, it may + help you; try it at all events. In this instance I was conscious of + power coming into me, and by a law of nature, I know Winters was + correspondingly weakened. If I could have gained more time I am sure he + would not even have struck me. + </p> + <p> + It takes time both to form such resolutions and to recite them. That + time, however, I gained while thinking of my retraction, which I first + wrote in pencil, altering it from time to time till I got it to suit me, + my aim being to make it look like a concession to demands, while in fact + it should tersely speak the truth into Mr. Winters' mind. When it was + finished, I copied it in ink, and if correctly copied from my first + draft it should read as follows. In copying I do not think I made any + material change. + </p> + <p> + COPY. To Philip Lynch, Editor of the Gold Hill News: I learn that Gen. + John B. Winters believes the following (pasted on) clipping from the + PEOPLE'S TRIBUNE of January to contain distinct charges of mine against + him personally, and that as such he desires me to retract them + unqualifiedly. + </p> + <p> + In compliance with his request, permit me to say that, although Mr. + Winters and I see this matter differently, in view of his strong + feelings in the premises, I hereby declare that I do not know those + "charges" (if such they are) to be true, and I hope that a critical + examination would altogether disprove them. CONRAD WIEGAND. Gold Hill, + January 15, 1870. + </p> + <p> + I then read what I had written and handed it to Mr. Lynch, whereupon Mr. + Winters said: + </p> + <p> + "That's not satisfactory, and it won't do;" and then addressing himself + to Mr. Lynch, he further said: "How does it strike you?" + </p> + <p> + "Well, I confess I don't see that it retracts anything." + </p> + <p> + "Nor do I," said Winters; "in fact, I regard it as adding insult to + injury. Mr. Wiegand you've got to do better than that. You are not the + man who can pull wool over my eyes." + </p> + <p> + "That, sir, is the only retraction I can write." + </p> + <p> + "No it isn't, sir, and if you so much as say so again you do it at your + peril, for I'll thrash you to within an inch of your life, and, by—, + sir, I don't pledge myself to spare you even that inch either. I want + you to understand I have asked you for a very different paper, and that + paper you've got to sign." + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Winters, I assure you that I do not wish to irritate you, but, at + the same time, it is utterly impossible for me to write any other paper + than that which I have written. If you are resolved to compel me to sign + something, Philip Lynch's hand must write at your dictation, and if, + when written, I can sign it I will do so, but such a document as you say + you must have from me, I never can sign. I mean what I say." + </p> + <p> + "Well, sir, what's to be done must be done quickly, for I've been here + long enough already. I'll put the thing in another shape (and then + pointing to the paper); don't you know those charges to be false?" + </p> + <p> + "I do not." + </p> + <p> + "Do you know them to be true?" + </p> + <p> + "Of my own personal knowledge I do not." + </p> + <p> + "Why then did you print them?" + </p> + <p> + "Because rightly considered in their connection they are not charges, + but pertinent and useful suggestions in answer to the queries of a + correspondent who stated facts which are inexplicable." + </p> + <p> + "Don't you know that I know they are false?" + </p> + <p> + "If you do, the proper course is simply to deny them and court an + investigation." + </p> + <p> + "And do YOU claim the right to make ME come out and deny anything you + may choose to write and print?" + </p> + <p> + To that question I think I made no reply, and he then further said: + </p> + <p> + "Come, now, we've talked about the matter long enough. I want your final + answer—did you write that article or not?" + </p> + <p> + "I cannot in honor tell you who wrote it." + </p> + <p> + "Did you not see it before it was printed?" + </p> + <p> + "Most certainly, sir." + </p> + <p> + "And did you deem it a fit thing to publish?" + </p> + <p> + "Most assuredly, sir, or I would never have consented to its appearance. + Of its authorship I can say nothing whatever, but for its publication I + assume full, sole and personal responsibility." + </p> + <p> + "And do you then retract it or not?" + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Winters, if my refusal to sign such a paper as you have demanded + must entail upon me all that your language in this room fairly implies, + then I ask a few minutes for prayer." + </p> + <p> + "Prayer!—-you, this is not your hour for prayer—your time to + pray was when you were writing those—lying charges. Will you sign + or not?" + </p> + <p> + "You already have my answer." + </p> + <p> + "What! do you still refuse?" + </p> + <p> + "I do, sir." + </p> + <p> + "Take that, then," and to my amazement and inexpressible relief he drew + only a rawhide instead of what I expected—a bludgeon or pistol. + With it, as he spoke, he struck at my left ear downwards, as if to tear + it off, and afterwards on the side of the head. As he moved away to get + a better chance for a more effective shot, for the first time I gained a + chance under peril to rise, and I did so pitying him from the very + bottom of my soul, to think that one so naturally capable of true + dignity, power and nobility could, by the temptations of this State, and + by unfortunate associations and aspirations, be so deeply debased as to + find in such brutality anything which he could call satisfaction—but + the great hope for us all is in progress and growth, and John B. + Winters, I trust, will yet be able to comprehend my feelings. + </p> + <p> + He continued to beat me with all his great force, until absolutely + weary, exhausted and panting for breath. I still adhered to my purpose + of non- aggressive defence, and made no other use of my arms than to + defend my head and face from further disfigurement. The mere pain + arising from the blows he inflicted upon my person was of course + transient, and my clothing to some extent deadened its severity, as it + now hides all remaining traces. + </p> + <p> + When I supposed he was through, taking the butt end of his weapon and + shaking it in my face, he warned me, if I correctly understood him, of + more yet to come, and furthermore said, if ever I again dared introduce + his name to print, in either my own or any other public journal, he + would cut off my left ear (and I do not think he was jesting) and send + me home to my family a visibly mutilated man, to be a standing warning + to all low-lived puppies who seek to blackmail gentlemen and to injure + their good names. And when he did so operate, he informed me that his + implement would not be a whip but a knife. + </p> + <p> + When he had said this, unaccompanied by Mr. Lynch, as I remember it, he + left the room, for I sat down by Mr. Lynch, exclaiming: "The man is mad—he + is utterly mad—this step is his ruin—it is a mistake—it + would be ungenerous in me, despite of all the ill usage I have here + received, to expose him, at least until he has had an opportunity to + reflect upon the matter. I shall be in no haste." + </p> + <p> + "Winters is very mad just now," replied Mr. Lynch, "but when he is + himself he is one of the finest men I ever met. In fact, he told me the + reason he did not meet you upstairs was to spare you the humiliation of + a beating in the sight of others." + </p> + <p> + I submit that that unguarded remark of Philip Lynch convicts him of + having been privy in advance to Mr. Winters' intentions whatever they + may have been, or at least to his meaning to make an assault upon me, + but I leave to others to determine how much censure an editor deserves + for inveigling a weak, non-combatant man, also a publisher, to a pen of + his own to be horsewhipped, if no worse, for the simple printing of what + is verbally in the mouth of nine out of ten men, and women too, upon the + street. + </p> + <p> + While writing this account two theories have occurred to me as possibly + true respecting this most remarkable assault: First—The aim may + have been simply to extort from me such admissions as in the hands of + money and influence would have sent me to the Penitentiary for libel. + This, however, seems unlikely, because any statements elicited by fear + or force could not be evidence in law or could be so explained as to + have no force. The statements wanted so badly must have been desired for + some other purpose. Second—The other theory has so dark and + wilfully murderous a look that I shrink from writing it, yet as in all + probability my death at the earliest practicable moment has already been + decreed, I feel I should do all I can before my hour arrives, at least + to show others how to break up that aristocratic rule and combination + which has robbed all Nevada of true freedom, if not of manhood itself. + Although I do not prefer this hypothesis as a "charge," I feel that as + an American citizen I still have a right both to think and to speak my + thoughts even in the land of Sharon and Winters, and as much so + respecting the theory of a brutal assault (especially when I have been + its subject) as respecting any other apparent enormity. I give the + matter simply as a suggestion which may explain to the proper + authorities and to the people whom they should represent, a well + ascertained but notwithstanding a darkly mysterious fact. The scheme of + the assault may have been: + </p> + <p> + First—To terrify me by making me conscious of my own helplessness + after making actual though not legal threats against my life. + </p> + <p> + Second—To imply that I could save my life only by writing or + signing certain specific statements which if not subsequently explained + would eternally have branded me as infamous and would have consigned my + family to shame and want, and to the dreadful compassion and patronage + of the rich. + </p> + <p> + Third—To blow my brains out the moment I had signed, thereby + preventing me from making any subsequent explanation such as could + remove the infamy. + </p> + <p> + Fourth—Philip Lynch to be compelled to testify that I was killed + by John B. Winters in self-defence, for the conviction of Winters would + bring him in as an accomplice. If that was the programme in John B. + Winters' mind nothing saved my life but my persistent refusal to sign, + when that refusal seemed clearly to me to be the choice of death. + </p> + <p> + The remarkable assertion made to me by Mr. Winters, that pity only + spared my life on Wednesday evening last, almost compels me to believe + that at first he could not have intended me to leave that room alive; + and why I was allowed to, unless through mesmeric or some other + invisible influence, I cannot divine. The more I reflect upon this + matter, the more probable as true does this horrible interpretation + become. + </p> + <p> + The narration of these things I might have spared both to Mr. Winters + and to the public had he himself observed silence, but as he has both + verbally spoken and suffered a thoroughly garbled statement of facts to + appear in the Gold Hill News I feel it due to myself no less than to + this community, and to the entire independent press of America and Great + Britain, to give a true account of what even the Gold Hill News has + pronounced a disgraceful affair, and which it deeply regrets because of + some alleged telegraphic mistake in the account of it. [Who received the + erroneous telegrams?] + </p> + <p> + Though he may not deem it prudent to take my life just now, the + publication of this article I feel sure must compel Gen. Winters (with + his peculiar views about his right to exemption from criticism by me) to + resolve on my violent death, though it may take years to compass it. + Notwithstanding I bear him no ill will; and if W. C. Ralston and William + Sharon, and other members of the San Francisco mining and milling Ring + feel that he above all other men in this State and California is the + most fitting man to supervise and control Yellow Jacket matters, until I + am able to vote more than half their stock I presume he will be retained + to grace his present post. + </p> + <p> + Meantime, I cordially invite all who know of any sort of important + villainy which only can be cured by exposure (and who would expose it if + they felt sure they would not be betrayed under bullying threats), to + communicate with the PEOPLE'S TRIBUNE; for until I am murdered, so long + as I can raise the means to publish, I propose to continue my efforts at + least to revive the liberties of the State, to curb oppression, and to + benefit man's world and God's earth. <br /><br />CONRAD WIEGAND. + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p> + [It does seem a pity that the Sheriff was shut out, since the good + sense of a general of militia and of a prominent editor failed to + teach them that the merited castigation of this weak, half-witted + child was a thing that ought to have been done in the street, where + the poor thing could have a chance to run. When a journalist maligns a + citizen, or attacks his good name on hearsay evidence, he deserves to + be thrashed for it, even if he is a "non-combatant" weakling; but a + generous adversary would at least allow such a lamb the use of his + legs at such a time.—M. T.] + </p> + </blockquote> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Roughing It, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROUGHING IT *** + +***** This file should be named 3177-h.htm or 3177-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.net/3/1/7/3177/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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