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diff --git a/old/mt4lt10.txt b/old/mt4lt10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..61d900b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt4lt10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9073 @@ +**The Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters Vol. 4, by Mark Twain** +#57 in our series by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.12.12.00*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +Letters Vol. 4 + +by Mark Twain + + + + +VOLUME IV. +MARK TWAIN'S LETTERS 1886-1900 + + +XXVI + +LETTERS, 1886-87. JANE CLEMENS'S ROMANCE. UNMAILED LETTERS, ETC. + + When Clemens had been platforming with Cable and returned to + Hartford for his Christmas vacation, the Warner and Clemens families + had joined in preparing for him a surprise performance of The Prince + and the Pauper. The Clemens household was always given to + theatricals, and it was about this time that scenery and a stage + were prepared--mainly by the sculptor Gerhardt--for these home + performances, after which productions of The Prince and the Pauper + were given with considerable regularity to audiences consisting of + parents and invited friends. The subject is a fascinating one, but + it has been dwelt upon elsewhere.--[In Mark Twain: A Biography, + chaps. cliff and clx.]-- We get a glimpse of one of these occasions + as well as of Mark Twain's financial progress in the next brief + note. + + To W. D. Howells; in Boston: + + Jan. 3, '86. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,-- The date set for the Prince and Pauper play is ten +days hence--Jan. 13. I hope you and Pilla can take a train that arrives +here during the day; the one that leaves Boston toward the end of the +afternoon would be a trifle late; the performance would have already +begun when you reached the house. + +I'm out of the woods. On the last day of the year I had paid out +$182,000 on the Grant book and it was totally free from debt. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Mark Twain's mother was a woman of sturdy character and with a keen + sense of humor and tender sympathies. Her husband, John Marshall + Clemens, had been a man of high moral character, honored by all who + knew him, respected and apparently loved by his wife. No one would + ever have supposed that during all her years of marriage, and almost + to her death, she carried a secret romance that would only be told + at last in the weary disappointment of old age. It is a curious + story, and it came to light in this curious way: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, May 19, '86. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,-- ..... Here's a secret. A most curious and pathetic +romance, which has just come to light. Read these things, but don't +mention them. Last fall, my old mother--then 82--took a notion to attend +a convention of old settlers of the Mississippi Valley in an Iowa town. +My brother's wife was astonished; and represented to her the hardships +and fatigues of such a trip, and said my mother might possibly not even +survive them; and said there could be no possible interest for her in +such a meeting and such a crowd. But my mother insisted, and persisted; +and finally gained her point. They started; and all the way my mother +was young again with excitement, interest, eagerness, anticipation. They +reached the town and the hotel. My mother strode with the same eagerness +in her eye and her step, to the counter, and said: + +"Is Dr. Barrett of St. Louis, here?" + +"No. He was here, but he returned to St. Louis this morning." + +"Will he come again?" + +"No." + +My mother turned away, the fire all gone from her, and said, " Let us go +home." + +They went straight back to Keokuk. My mother sat silent and thinking for +many days--a thing which had never happened before. Then one day she +said: + +"I will tell you a secret. When I was eighteen, a young medical student +named Barrett lived in Columbia (Ky.) eighteen miles away; and he used to +ride over to see me. This continued for some time. I loved him with my +whole heart, and I knew that he felt the same toward me, though no words +had been spoken. He was too bashful to speak--he could not do it. +Everybody supposed we were engaged--took it for granted we were--but we +were not. By and by there was to be a party in a neighboring town, and +he wrote my uncle telling him his feelings, and asking him to drive me +over in his buggy and let him (Barrett) drive me back, so that he might +have that opportunity to propose. My uncle should have done as he was +asked, without explaining anything to me; but instead, he read me the +letter; and then, of course, I could not go--and did not. He (Barrett) +left the country presently, and I, to stop the clacking tongues, and to +show him that I did not care, married, in a pet. In all these sixty-four +years I have not seen him since. I saw in a paper that he was going to +attend that Old Settlers' Convention. Only three hours before we reached +that hotel, he had been standing there!" + +Since then, her memory is wholly faded out and gone; and now she writes +letters to the school-mates who had been dead forty years, and wonders +why they neglect her and do not answer. + +Think of her carrying that pathetic burden in her old heart sixty-four +years, and no human being ever suspecting it! + Yrs ever, + MARK. + +We do not get the idea from this letter that those two long ago +sweethearts quarreled, but Mark Twain once spoke of their having done so, +and there may have been a disagreement, assuming that there was a +subsequent meeting. It does not matter, now. In speaking of it, Mark +Twain once said: "It is as pathetic a romance as any that has crossed the +field of my personal experience in a long lifetime." --[When Mark Twain: +A Biography was written this letter had not come to light, and the matter +was stated there in accordance with Mark Twain's latest memory of it.] + +Howells wrote: "After all, how poor and hackneyed all the inventions are +compared with the simple and stately facts. Who could have imagined such +a heart-break as that? Yet it went along with the fulfillment of +everyday duty and made no more noise than a grave under foot. I doubt if +fiction will ever get the knack of such things." + +Jane Clemens now lived with her son Orion and his wife, in Keokuk, where +she was more contented than elsewhere. In these later days her memory +had become erratic, her realization of events about her uncertain, but +there were times when she was quite her former self, remembering clearly +and talking with her old-time gaiety of spirit. Mark Twain frequently +sent her playful letters to amuse her, letters full of such boyish gaiety +as had amused her long years before. The one that follows is a fair +example. It was written after a visit which Clemens and his family had +paid to Keokuk. + + + To Jane Clemens, in Keokuk: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 7, '86. +DEAR MA,--I heard that Molly and Orion and Pamela had been sick, but I +see by your letter that they are much better now, or nearly well. When +we visited you a month ago, it seemed to us that your Keokuk weather was +pretty hot; Jean and Clara sat up in bed at Mrs. McElroy's and cried +about it, and so did I; but I judge by your letter that it has cooled +down, now, so that a person is comparatively comfortable, with his skin +off. Well it did need cooling; I remember that I burnt a hole in my +shirt, there, with some ice cream that fell on it; and Miss Jenkins told +me they never used a stove, but cooked their meals on a marble-topped +table in the drawing-room, just with the natural heat. If anybody else +had told me, I would not have believed it. I was told by the Bishop of +Keokuk that he did not allow crying at funerals, because it scalded the +furniture. If Miss Jenkins had told me that, I would have believed it. +This reminds me that you speak of Dr. Jenkins and his family as if they +were strangers to me. Indeed they are not. Don't you suppose I remember +gratefully how tender the doctor was with Jean when she hurt her arm, and +how quickly he got the pain out of the hurt, whereas I supposed it was +going to last at least an hour? No, I don't forget some things as easily +as I do others. + +Yes, it was pretty hot weather. Now here, when a person is going to die, +he is always in a sweat about where he is going to; but in Keokuk of +course they don't care, because they are fixed for everything. It has +set me reflecting, it has taught me a lesson. By and by, when my health +fails, I am going to put all my affairs in order, and bid good-bye to my +friends here, and kill all the people I don't like, and go out to Keokuk +and prepare for death. + +They are all well in this family, and we all send love. + Affly Your Son + SAM. + + + The ways of city officials and corporations are often past + understanding, and Mark Twain sometimes found it necessary to write + picturesque letters of protest. The following to a Hartford + lighting company is a fair example of these documents. + + + To a gas and electric-lighting company, in Hartford: + +GENTLEMEN,--There are but two places in our whole street where lights +could be of any value, by any accident, and you have measured and +appointed your intervals so ingeniously as to leave each of those places +in the centre of a couple of hundred yards of solid darkness. When I +noticed that you were setting one of your lights in such a way that I +could almost see how to get into my gate at night, I suspected that it +was a piece of carelessness on the part of the workmen, and would be +corrected as soon as you should go around inspecting and find it out. +My judgment was right; it is always right, when you axe concerned. For +fifteen years, in spite of my prayers and tears, you persistently kept a +gas lamp exactly half way between my gates, so that I couldn't find +either of them after dark; and then furnished such execrable gas that I +had to hang a danger signal on the lamp post to keep teams from running +into it, nights. Now I suppose your present idea is, to leave us a +little more in the dark. + +Don't mind us--out our way; we possess but one vote apiece, and no rights +which you are in any way bound to respect. Please take your electric +light and go to--but never mind, it is not for me to suggest; you will +probably find the way; and any way you can reasonably count on divine +assistance if you lose your bearings. + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + [Etext Editor's Note: Twain wrote another note to Hartford Gas and + Electric, which he may not have mailed and which Paine does not + include in these volumes: + "Gentleman:--Someday you are going to move me almost to the point + of irritation with your God-damned chuckle headed fashion of + turning off your God-damned gas without giving notice to your + God-damned parishioners--and you did it again last night--" + D.W.] + + Frequently Clemens did not send letters of this sort after they were + written. Sometimes he realized the uselessness of such protest, + sometimes the mere writing of them had furnished the necessary + relief, and he put, the letter away, or into the wastebasket, and + wrote something more temperate, or nothing at all. A few such + letters here follow. + + Clemens was all the time receiving application from people who + wished him to recommend one article or another; books, plays, + tobacco, and what not. They were generally persistent people, + unable to accept a polite or kindly denial. Once he set down some + remarks on this particular phase of correspondence. He wrote: + + +I + +No doubt Mr. Edison has been offered a large interest in many and many an +electrical project, for the use of his name to float it withal. And no +doubt all men who have achieved for their names, in any line of activity +whatever, a sure market value, have been familiar with this sort of +solicitation. Reputation is a hall-mark: it can remove doubt from pure +silver, and it can also make the plated article pass for pure. + +And so, people without a hall-mark of their own are always trying to get +the loan of somebody else's. + +As a rule, that kind of a person sees only one side of the case. He sees +that his invention or his painting or his book is--apparently--a trifle +better than you yourself can do, therefore why shouldn't you be willing +to put your hall-mark on it? You will be giving the purchaser his full +money's worth; so who is hurt, and where is the harm? Besides, are you +not helping a struggling fellow-craftsman, and is it not your duty to do +that? + +That side is plenty clear enough to him, but he can't and won't see the +other side, to-wit: that you are a rascal if you put your hall-mark upon +a thing which you did not produce yourself, howsoever good it may be. +How simple that is; and yet there are not two applicants in a hundred who +can, be made to see it. + +When one receives an application of this sort, his first emotion is an +indignant sense of insult; his first deed is the penning of a sharp +answer. He blames nobody but that other person. That person is a very +base being; he must be; he would degrade himself for money, otherwise it +would not occur to him that you would do such a thing. But all the same, +that application has done its work, and taken you down in your own +estimation. You recognize that everybody hasn't as high an opinion of +you as you have of yourself; and in spite of you there ensues an interval +during which you are not, in your own estimation as fine a bird as you +were before. + +However, being old and experienced, you do not mail your sharp letter, +but leave it lying a day. That saves you. For by that time you have +begun to reflect that you are a person who deals in exaggerations--and +exaggerations are lies. You meant yours to be playful, and thought you +made them unmistakably so. But you couldn't make them playfulnesses to a +man who has no sense of the playful and can see nothing but the serious +side of things. You rattle on quite playfully, and with measureless +extravagance, about how you wept at the tomb of Adam; and all in good +time you find to your astonishment that no end of people took you at your +word and believed you. And presently they find out that you were not in +earnest. They have been deceived; therefore, (as they argue--and there +is a sort of argument in it,) you are a deceiver. If you will deceive in +one way, why shouldn't you in another? So they apply for the use of your +trade-mark. You are amazed and affronted. You retort that you are not +that kind of person. Then they are amazed and affronted; and wonder +"since when?" + +By this time you have got your bearings. You realize that perhaps there +is a little blame on both sides. You are in the right frame, now. So +you write a letter void of offense, declining. You mail this one; you +pigeon-hole the other. + +That is, being old and experienced, you do, but early in your career, you +don't: you mail the first one. + + +II + +An enthusiast who had a new system of musical notation, wrote to me and +suggested that a magazine article from me, contrasting the absurdities of +the old system with the simplicities of his new one, would be sure to +make a "rousing hit." He shouted and shouted over the marvels wrought by +his system, and quoted the handsome compliments which had been paid it by +famous musical people; but he forgot to tell me what his notation was +like, or what its simplicities consisted in. So I could not have written +the article if I had wanted to--which I didn't; because I hate strangers +with axes to grind. I wrote him a courteous note explaining how busy I +was--I always explain how busy I am--and casually drooped this remark: + +"I judge the X-X notation to be a rational mode of representing music, in +place of the prevailing fashion, which was the invention of an idiot." + +Next mail he asked permission to print that meaningless remark. +I answered, no--courteously, but still, no; explaining that I could not +afford to be placed in the attitude of trying to influence people with a +mere worthless guess. What a scorcher I got, next mail! Such irony! +such sarcasm, such caustic praise of my superhonorable loyalty to the +public! And withal, such compassion for my stupidity, too, in not being +able to understand my own language. I cannot remember the words of this +letter broadside, but there was about a page used up in turning this idea +round and round and exposing it in different lights. + + Unmailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--What is the trouble with you? If it is your viscera, you +cannot have them taken out and reorganized a moment too soon. I mean, +if they are inside. But if you are composed of them, that is another +matter. Is it your brain? But it could not be your brain. Possibly it +is your skull: you want to look out for that. Some people, when they get +an idea, it pries the structure apart. Your system of notation has got +in there, and couldn't find room, without a doubt that is what the +trouble is. Your skull was not made to put ideas in, it was made to +throw potatoes at. + Yours Truly. + + + Mailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--Come, come--take a walk; you disturb the children. + Yours Truly. + + +There was a day, now happily nearly over, when certain newspapers made a +practice of inviting men distinguished in any walk of life to give their +time and effort without charge to express themselves on some subject of +the day, or perhaps they were asked to send their favorite passages in +prose or verse, with the reasons why. Such symposiums were "features" +that cost the newspapers only the writing of a number of letters, +stationery, and postage. To one such invitation Mark Twain wrote two +replies. They follow herewith: + + Unmailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--I have received your proposition--which you have imitated from +a pauper London periodical which had previously imitated the idea of this +sort of mendicancy from seventh-rate American journalism, where it +originated as a variation of the inexpensive "interview." + +Why do you buy Associated Press dispatches? To make your paper the more +salable, you answer. But why don't you try to beg them? Why do you +discriminate? I can sell my stuff; why should I give it to you? Why +don't you ask me for a shirt? What is the difference between asking me +for the worth of a shirt and asking me for the shirt itself? Perhaps you +didn't know you were begging. I would not use that argument--it makes +the user a fool. The passage of poetry--or prose, if you will--which has +taken deepest root in my thought, and which I oftenest return to and +dwell upon with keenest no matter what, is this: That the proper place +for journalists who solicit literary charity is on the street corner with +their hats in their hands. + + + Mailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--Your favor of recent date is received, but I am obliged by +press of work to decline. + + + The manager of a traveling theatrical company wrote that he had + taken the liberty of dramatizing Tom Sawyer, and would like also the + use of the author's name--the idea being to convey to the public + that it was a Mark Twain play. In return for this slight favor the + manager sent an invitation for Mark Twain to come and see the play-- + to be present on the opening night, as it were, at his (the + manager's) expense. He added that if the play should be a go in the + cities there might be some "arrangement" of profits. Apparently + these inducements did not appeal to Mark Twain. The long unmailed + reply is the more interesting, but probably the briefer one that + follows it was quite as effective. + + Unmailed Answer: + + HARTFORD, Sept. 8, '87. +DEAR SIR,--And so it has got around to you, at last; and you also have +"taken the liberty." You are No. 1365. When 1364 sweeter and better +people, including the author, have "tried" to dramatize Tom Sawyer and +did not arrive, what sort of show do you suppose you stand? That is a +book, dear sir, which cannot be dramatized. One might as well try to +dramatize any other hymn. Tom Sawyer is simply a hymn, put into prose +form to give it a worldly air. + +Why the pale doubt that flitteth dim and nebulous athwart the forecastle +of your third sentence? Have no fears. Your piece will be a Go. +It will go out the back door on the first night. They've all done it +--the 1364. So will 1365. Not one of us ever thought of the simple +device of half-soling himself with a stove-lid. Ah, what suffering a +little hindsight would have saved us. Treasure this hint. + +How kind of you to invite me to the funeral. Go to; I have attended a +thousand of them. I have seen Tom Sawyer's remains in all the different +kinds of dramatic shrouds there are. You cannot start anything fresh. +Are you serious when you propose to pay my expence--if that is the +Susquehannian way of spelling it? And can you be aware that I charge a +hundred dollars a mile when I travel for pleasure? Do you realize that +it is 432 miles to Susquehanna? Would it be handy for you to send me the +$43,200 first, so I could be counting it as I come along; because +railroading is pretty dreary to a sensitive nature when there's nothing +sordid to buck at for Zeitvertreib. + +Now as I understand it, dear and magnanimous 1365, you are going to +recreate Tom Sawyer dramatically, and then do me the compliment to put me +in the bills as father of this shady offspring. Sir, do you know that +this kind of a compliment has destroyed people before now? Listen. + +Twenty-four years ago, I was strangely handsome. The remains of it are +still visible through the rifts of time. I was so handsome that human +activities ceased as if spellbound when I came in view, and even +inanimate things stopped to look--like locomotives, and district +messenger boys and so-on. In San Francisco, in the rainy season I was +often mistaken for fair weather. Upon one occasion I was traveling in +the Sonora region, and stopped for an hour's nooning, to rest my horse +and myself. All the town came out to look. The tribes of Indians +gathered to look. A Piute squaw named her baby for me,--a voluntary +compliment which pleased me greatly. Other attentions were paid me. +Last of all arrived the president and faculty of Sonora University and +offered me the post of Professor of Moral Culture and the Dogmatic +Humanities; which I accepted gratefully, and entered at once upon my +duties. But my name had pleased the Indians, and in the deadly kindness +of their hearts they went on naming their babies after me. I tried to +stop it, but the Indians could not understand why I should object to so +manifest a compliment. The thing grew and grew and spread and spread and +became exceedingly embarrassing. The University stood it a couple of +years; but then for the sake of the college they felt obliged to call a +halt, although I had the sympathy of the whole faculty. The president +himself said to me, "I am as sorry as I can be for you, and would still +hold out if there were any hope ahead; but you see how it is: there are a +hundred and thirty-two of them already, and fourteen precincts to hear +from. The circumstance has brought your name into most wide and +unfortunate renown. It causes much comment--I believe that that is not +an over-statement. Some of this comment is palliative, but some of it +--by patrons at a distance, who only know the statistics without the +explanation,--is offensive, and in some cases even violent. Nine +students have been called home. The trustees of the college have been +growing more and more uneasy all these last months--steadily along with +the implacable increase in your census--and I will not conceal from you +that more than once they have touched upon the expediency of a change in +the Professorship of Moral Culture. The coarsely sarcastic editorial in +yesterday's Alta, headed Give the Moral Acrobat a Rest--has brought +things to a crisis, and I am charged with the unpleasant duty of +receiving your resignation." + +I know you only mean me a kindness, dear 1365, but it is a most deadly +mistake. Please do not name your Injun for me. Truly Yours. + + + Mailed Answer: + + NEW YORK, Sept. 8. 1887. +DEAR SIR,--Necessarily I cannot assent to so strange a proposition. And +I think it but fair to warn you that if you put the piece on the stage, +you must take the legal consequences. + Yours respectfully, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Before the days of international copyright no American author's + books were pirated more freely by Canadian publishers than those of + Mark Twain. It was always a sore point with him that these books, + cheaply printed, found their way into the United States, and were + sold in competition with his better editions. The law on the + subject seemed to be rather hazy, and its various interpretations + exasperating. In the next unmailed letter Mark Twain relieves + himself to a misguided official. The letter is worth reading today, + if for no other reason, to show the absurdity of copyright + conditions which prevailed at that time. + + + Unmailed Letter to H. C. Christiancy, on book Piracy: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 18, '87. +H. C. CHRISTIANCY, ESQ. + +DEAR SIR,-- As I understand it, the position of the U. S. Government is +this: If a person be captured on the border with counterfeit bonds in his +hands--bonds of the N. Y. Central Railway, for instance--the procedure in +his case shall be as follows: + +1. If the N. Y. C. have not previously filed in the several police +offices along the border, proof of ownership of the originals of the +bonds, the government officials must collect a duty on the counterfeits, +and then let them go ahead and circulate in this country. + +2. But if there is proof already on file, then the N. Y. C. may pay the +duty and take the counterfeits. + +But in no case will the United States consent to go without its share of +the swag. It is delicious. The biggest and proudest government on earth +turned sneak-thief; collecting pennies on stolen property, and pocketing +them with a greasy and libidinous leer; going into partnership with +foreign thieves to rob its own children; and when the child escapes the +foreigner, descending to the abysmal baseness of hanging on and robbing +the infant all alone by itself! Dear sir, this is not any more +respectable than for a father to collect toll on the forced prostitution +of his own daughter; in fact it is the same thing. Upon these terms, +what is a U. S. custom house but a "fence?" That is all it is: a +legalized trader in stolen goods. + +And this nasty law, this filthy law, this unspeakable law calls itself a +"regulation for the protection of owners of copyright!" Can sarcasm go +further than that? In what way does it protect them? Inspiration itself +could not furnish a rational answer to that question. Whom does it +protect, then? Nobody, as far as I can see, but the foreign thief- +sometimes--and his fellow-footpad the U. S. government, all the time. +What could the Central Company do with the counterfeit bonds after it had +bought them of the star spangled banner Master-thief? Sell them at a +dollar apiece and fetch down the market for the genuine hundred-dollar +bond? What could I do with that 20-cent copy of "Roughing It" which the +United States has collared on the border and is waiting to release to me +for cash in case I am willing to come down to its moral level and help +rob myself? Sell it at ten or fifteen cents--duty added--and destroy the +market for the original $3,50 book? Who ever did invent that law? I +would like to know the name of that immortal jackass. + +Dear sir, I appreciate your courtesy in stretching your authority in the +desire to do me a kindness, and I sincerely thank you for it. But I have +no use for that book; and if I were even starving for it I would not pay +duty on in either to get it or suppress it. No doubt there are ways in +which I might consent to go into partnership with thieves and fences, +but this is not one of them. This one revolts the remains of my self- +respect; turns my stomach. I think I could companion with a highwayman +who carried a shot-gun and took many risks; yes, I think I should like +that if I were younger; but to go in with a big rich government that robs +paupers, and the widows and orphans of paupers and takes no risk--why the +thought just gags me. + +Oh, no, I shall never pay any duties on pirated books of mine. I am much +too respectable for that--yet awhile. But here--one thing that grovels +me is this: as far as I can discover--while freely granting that the +U. S. copyright laws are far and away the most idiotic that exist +anywhere on the face of the earth--they don't authorize the government to +admit pirated books into this country, toll or no toll. And so I think +that that regulation is the invention of one of those people--as a rule, +early stricken of God, intellectually--the departmental interpreters of +the laws, in Washington. They can always be depended on to take any +reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it. They +can be depended on, every time, to defeat a good law, and make it +inoperative--yes, and utterly grotesque, too, mere matter for laughter +and derision. Take some of the decisions of the Post-office Department, +for instance--though I do not mean to suggest that that asylum is any +worse than the others for the breeding and nourishing of incredible +lunatics--I merely instance it because it happens to be the first to come +into my mind. Take that case of a few years ago where the P. M. General +suddenly issued an edict requiring you to add the name of the State after +Boston, New York, Chicago, &c, in your superscriptions, on pain of having +your letter stopped and forwarded to the dead-letter office; yes, and I +believe he required the county, too. He made one little concession in +favor of New York: you could say "New York City," and stop there; but if +you left off the "city," you must add "N. Y." to your "New York." Why, +it threw the business of the whole country into chaos and brought +commerce almost to a stand-still. Now think of that! When that man goes +to--to--well, wherever he is going to--we shan't want the microscopic +details of his address. I guess we can find him. + +Well, as I was saying, I believe that this whole paltry and ridiculous +swindle is a pure creation of one of those cabbages that used to be at +the head of one of those Retreats down there--Departments, you know--and +that you will find it so, if you will look into it. And moreover--but +land, I reckon we are both tired by this time. + Truly Yours, + MARK TWAIN. + + + + + +XXVII + +MISCELLANEOUS LETTERS OF 1887. LITERARY ARTICLES. PEACEFUL DAYS AT THE +FARM. FAVORITE READING. APOLOGY TO MRS. CLEVELAND, ETC. + +We have seen in the preceding chapter how unknown aspirants in one field +or another were always seeking to benefit by Mark Twain's reputation. +Once he remarked, "The symbol of the human race ought to be an ax; every +human being has one concealed about him somewhere." He declared when a +stranger called on him, or wrote to him, in nine cases out of ten he +could distinguish the gleam of the ax almost immediately. The following +letter is closely related to those of the foregoing chapter, only that +this one was mailed--not once, but many times, in some form adapted to +the specific applicant. It does not matter to whom it was originally +written, the name would not be recognized. + + + To Mrs. T. Concerning unearned credentials, etc. + + HARTFORD, 1887. +MY DEAR MADAM,--It is an idea which many people have had, but it is of no +value. I have seen it tried out many and many a time. I have seen a +lady lecturer urged and urged upon the public in a lavishly complimentary +document signed by Longfellow, Whittier, Holmes and some others of +supreme celebrity, but--there was nothing in her and she failed. If +there had been any great merit in her she never would have needed those +men's help and (at her rather mature age,) would never have consented to +ask for it. + +There is an unwritten law about human successes, and your sister must bow +to that law, she must submit to its requirements. In brief this law is: + + 1. No occupation without an apprenticeship. + + 2. No pay to the apprentice. + +This law stands right in the way of the subaltern who wants to be a +General before he has smelt powder; and it stands (and should stand) in +everybody's way who applies for pay or position before he has served his +apprenticeship and proved himself. Your sister's course is perfectly +plain. Let her enclose this letter to Maj. J. B. Pond, and offer to +lecture a year for $10 a week and her expenses, the contract to be +annullable by him at any time, after a month's notice, but not annullable +by her at all. The second year, he to have her services, if he wants +them, at a trifle under the best price offered her by anybody else. + +She can learn her trade in those two years, and then be entitled to +remuneration--but she can not learn it in any less time than that, unless +she is a human miracle. + +Try it, and do not be afraid. It is the fair and right thing. If she +wins, she will win squarely and righteously, and never have to blush. + Truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Howells wrote, in February, offering to get a publisher to take the + Library of Humor off Mark Twain's hands. Howells had been paid + twenty-six hundred dollars for the work on it, and his conscience + hurt him when he reflected that the book might never be used. In + this letter he also refers to one of the disastrous inventions in + which Clemens had invested--a method of casting brass dies for + stamping book-covers and wall-paper. Howells's purpose was to + introduce something of the matter into his next story. Mark Twain's + reply gives us a light on this particular invention. + + + HARTFORD, Feb. 15, '87. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I was in New York five days ago, and Webster mentioned the +Library, and proposed to publish it a year or a year and half hence. +I have written him your proposition to-day. (The Library is part of the +property of the C. L. W. & Co. firm.) + +I don't remember what that technical phrase was, but I think you will +find it in any Cyclopedia under the head of "Brass." The thing I best +remember is, that the self-styled "inventor" had a very ingenious way of +keeping me from seeing him apply his invention: the first appointment was +spoiled by his burning down the man's shop in which it was to be done, +the night before; the second was spoiled by his burning down his own shop +the night before. He unquestionably did both of these things. He really +had no invention; the whole project was a blackmailing swindle, and cost +me several thousand dollars. + +The slip you sent me from the May "Study" has delighted Mrs. Clemens and +me to the marrow. To think that thing might be possible to many; but to +be brave enough to say it is possible to you only, I certainly believe. +The longer I live the clearer I perceive how unmatchable, how +unapproachable, a compliment one pays when he says of a man "he has the +courage (to utter) his convictions." Haven't you had reviewers talk Alps +to you, and then print potato hills? + +I haven't as good an opinion of my work as you hold of it, but I've +always done what I could to secure and enlarge my good opinion of it. +I've always said to myself, "Everybody reads it and that's something--it +surely isn't pernicious, or the most acceptable people would get pretty +tired of it." And when a critic said by implication that it wasn't high +and fine, through the remark "High and fine literature is wine" I +retorted (confidentially, to myself,) "yes, high and fine literature is +wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water." + +You didn't tell me to return that proof-slip, so I have pasted it into my +private scrap-book. None will see it there. With a thousand thanks. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Our next letter is an unmailed answer, but it does not belong with + the others, having been withheld for reasons of quite a different + sort. Jeanette Gilder, then of the Critic, was one of Mark Twain's + valued friends. In the comment which he made, when it was shown to + him twenty-two years later, he tells us why he thinks this letter + was not sent. The name, "Rest-and-be-Thankful," was the official + title given to the summer place at Elmira, but it was more often + known as "Quarry Farm." + + + To Jeannette Gilder (not mailed): + + HARTFORD, May 14, '87. +MY DEAR MISS GILDER,--We shall spend the summer at the same old place-the +remote farm called "Rest-and-be-Thankful," on top of the hills three +miles from Elmira, N. Y. Your other question is harder to answer. It is +my habit to keep four or five books in process of erection all the time, +and every summer add a few courses of bricks to two or three of them; but +I cannot forecast which of the two or three it is going to be. It takes +seven years to complete a book by this method, but still it is a good +method: gives the public a rest. I have been accused of "rushing into +print" prematurely, moved thereto by greediness for money; but in truth +I have never done that. Do you care for trifles of information? (Well, +then, "Tom Sawyer" and "The Prince and the Pauper" were each on the +stocks two or three years, and "Old Times on the Mississippi" eight. +One of my unfinished books has been on the stocks sixteen years; another +seventeen. This latter book could have been finished in a day, at any +time during the past five years. But as in the first of these two +narratives all the action takes place in Noah's ark, and as in the other +the action takes place in heaven, there seemed to be no hurry, and so I +have not hurried. Tales of stirring adventure in those localities do not +need to be rushed to publication lest they get stale by waiting. In +twenty-one years, with all my time at my free disposal I have written and +completed only eleven books, whereas with half the labor that a +journalist does I could have written sixty in that time. I do not +greatly mind being accused of a proclivity for rushing into print, but +at the same time I don't believe that the charge is really well founded. +Suppose I did write eleven books, have you nothing to be grateful for? +Go to--- remember the forty-nine which I didn't write. + Truly Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Notes (added twenty-two years later): + +Stormfield, April 30, 1909. It seems the letter was not sent. I +probably feared she might print it, and I couldn't find a way to say so +without running a risk of hurting her. No one would hurt Jeannette +Gilder purposely, and no one would want to run the risk of doing it +unintentionally. She is my neighbor, six miles away, now, and I must +ask her about this ancient letter. + +I note with pride and pleasure that I told no untruths in my unsent +answer. I still have the habit of keeping unfinished books lying around +years and years, waiting. I have four or five novels on hand at present +in a half-finished condition, and it is more than three years since I +have looked at any of them. I have no intention of finishing them. +I could complete all of them in less than a year, if the impulse should +come powerfully upon me: Long, long ago money-necessity furnished that +impulse once, (" Following the Equator"), but mere desire for money has +never furnished it, so far as I remember. Not even money-necessity was +able to overcome me on a couple of occasions when perhaps I ought to have +allowed it to succeed. While I was a bankrupt and in debt two offers +were made me for weekly literary contributions to continue during a year, +and they would have made a debtless man of me, but I declined them, with +my wife's full approval, for I had known of no instance where a man had +pumped himself out once a week and failed to run "emptyings" before the +year was finished. + +As to that "Noah's Ark" book, I began it in Edinburgh in 1873;--[This is +not quite correct. The "Noah's Ark" book was begun in Buffalo in 1870.] +I don't know where the manuscript is now. It was a Diary, which +professed to be the work of Shem, but wasn't. I began it again several +months ago, but only for recreation; I hadn't any intention of carrying +it to a finish +--or even to the end of the first chapter, in fact. + +As to the book whose action "takes place in Heaven." That was a small +thing, ("Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven.") It lay in my pigeon- +holes 40 years, then I took it out and printed it in Harper's Monthly +last year. + S. L. C. + + +In the next letter we get a pretty and peaceful picture of "Rest-and-be- +Thankful." These were Mark Twain's balmy days. The financial drain of +the type-machine was heavy but not yet exhausting, and the prospect of +vast returns from it seemed to grow brighter each day. His publishing +business, though less profitable, was still prosperous, his family life +was ideal. How gratefully, then, he could enter into the peace of that +"perfect day." + + + To Mrs. Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Ia.: + + ON THE HILL NEAR ELMIRA, July 10, '87. +DEAR MOLLIE,--This is a superb Sunday for weather--very cloudy, and the +thermometer as low as 65. The city in the valley is purple with shade, +as seen from up here at the study. The Cranes are reading and loafing in +the canvas-curtained summer-house 50 yards away on a higher (the highest) +point; the cats are loafing over at "Ellerslie" which is the children's +estate and dwellinghouse in their own private grounds (by deed from Susie +Crane) a hundred yards from the study, amongst the clover and young oaks +and willows. Livy is down at the house, but I shall now go and bring her +up to the Cranes to help us occupy the lounges and hammocks--whence a +great panorama of distant hill and valley and city is seeable. The +children have gone on a lark through the neighboring hills and woods. +It is a perfect day indeed. + With love to you all. + SAM. + + +Two days after this letter was written we get a hint of what was the +beginning of business trouble--that is to say, of the failing health of +Charles L. Webster. Webster was ambitious, nervous, and not robust. +He had overworked and was paying the penalty. His trouble was +neurasthenia, and he was presently obliged to retire altogether from the +business. The "Sam and Mary" mentioned were Samuel Moffet and his wife. + + + To Mrs. Pamela Moffett, in Fredonia, N. Y. + + ELMIRA, July 12, '87 +MY DEAR SISTER,--I had no idea that Charley's case was so serious. +I knew it was bad, and persistent, but I was not aware of the full size +of the matter. + +I have just been writing to a friend in Hartford' who treated what I +imagine was a similar case surgically last fall, and produced a permanent +cure. If this is a like case, Charley must go to him. + +If relief fails there, he must take the required rest, whether the +business can stand it or not. + +It is most pleasant to hear such prosperous accounts of Sam and Mary, +I do not see how Sam could well be more advantageously fixed. He can +grow up with that paper, and achieve a successful life. + +It is not all holiday here with Susie and Clara this time. They have to +put in some little time every day on their studies. Jean thinks she is +studying too, but I don't know what it is unless it is the horses; she +spends the day under their heels in the stables--and that is but a +continuation of her Hartford system of culture. + +With love from us all to you all. + Affectionately + SAM. + + +Mark Twain had a few books that he read regularly every year or two. +Among these were 'Pepys's Diary', Suetonius's 'Lives of the Twelve +Caesars', and Thomas Carlyle's 'French Revolution'. He had a passion for +history, biography, and personal memoirs of any sort. In his early life +he had cared very little for poetry, but along in the middle eighties he +somehow acquired a taste for Browning and became absorbed in it. +A Browning club assembled as often as once a week at the Clemens home in +Hartford to listen to his readings of the master. He was an impressive +reader, and he carefully prepared himself for these occasions, indicating +by graduated underscorings, the exact values he wished to give to words +and phrases. Those were memorable gatherings, and they must have +continued through at least two winters. It is one of the puzzling phases +of Mark Twain's character that, notwithstanding his passion for direct +and lucid expression, he should have found pleasure in the poems of +Robert Browning. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 22, '87. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man +while he sleeps. When I finished Carlyle's French Revolution in 1871, +I was a Girondin; every time I have read it since, I have read it +differently being influenced and changed, little by little, by life and +environment (and Taine and St. Simon): and now I lay the book down once +more, and recognize that I am a Sansculotte!--And not a pale, +characterless Sansculotte, but a Marat. Carlyle teaches no such gospel +so the change is in me--in my vision of the evidences. + +People pretend that the Bible means the same to them at 50 that it did at +all former milestones in their journey. I wonder how they can lie so. +It comes of practice, no doubt. They would not say that of Dickens's or +Scott's books. Nothing remains the same. When a man goes back to look +at the house of his childhood, it has always shrunk: there is no instance +of such a house being as big as the picture in memory and imagination +call for. Shrunk how? Why, to its correct dimensions: the house hasn't +altered; this is the first time it has been in focus. + +Well, that's loss. To have house and Bible shrink so, under the +disillusioning corrected angle, is loss-for a moment. But there are +compensations. You tilt the tube skyward and bring planets and comets +and corona flames a hundred and fifty thousand miles high into the field. +Which I see you have done, and found Tolstoi. I haven't got him in focus +yet, but I've got Browning . . . . + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Mention has been made already of Mark Twain's tendency to + absentmindedness. He was always forgetting engagements, or getting + them wrong. Once he hurried to an afternoon party, and finding the + mistress of the house alone, sat down and talked to her comfortably + for an hour or two, not remembering his errand at all. It was only + when he reached home that he learned that the party had taken place + the week before. It was always dangerous for him to make + engagements, and he never seemed to profit by sorrowful experience. + We, however, may profit now by one of his amusing apologies. + + + To Mrs. Grover Cleveland, in Washington: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 6, 1887. +MY DEAR MADAM,--I do not know how it is in the White House, but in this +house of ours whenever the minor half of the administration tries to run +itself without the help of the major half it gets aground. Last night +when I was offered the opportunity to assist you in the throwing open the +Warner brothers superb benefaction in Bridgeport to those fortunate +women, I naturally appreciated the honor done me, and promptly seized my +chance. I had an engagement, but the circumstances washed it out of my +mind. If I had only laid the matter before the major half of the +administration on the spot, there would have been no blunder; but I never +thought of that. So when I did lay it before her, later, I realized once +more that it will not do for the literary fraction of a combination to +try to manage affairs which properly belong in the office of the business +bulk of it. I suppose the President often acts just like that: goes and +makes an impossible promise, and you never find it out until it is next +to impossible to break it up and set things straight again. Well, that +is just our way, exactly-one half of the administration always busy +getting the family into trouble, and the other half busy getting it out +again. And so we do seem to be all pretty much alike, after all. The +fact is, I had forgotten that we were to have a dinner party on that +Bridgeport date--I thought it was the next day: which is a good deal of +an improvement for me, because I am more used to being behind a day or +two than ahead. But that is just the difference between one end of this +kind of an administration and the other end of it, as you have noticed, +yourself--the other end does not forget these things. Just so with a +funeral; if it is the man's funeral, he is most always there, of course- +but that is no credit to him, he wouldn't be there if you depended on +hint to remember about it; whereas, if on the other hand--but I seem to +have got off from my line of argument somehow; never mind about the +funeral. Of course I am not meaning to say anything against funerals-- +that is, as occasions--mere occasions--for as diversions I don't think +they amount to much But as I was saying--if you are not busy I will look +back and see what it was I was saying. + +I don't seem to find the place; but anyway she was as sorry as ever +anybody could be that I could not go to Bridgeport, but there was no help +for it. And I, I have been not only sorry but very sincerely ashamed of +having made an engagement to go without first making sure that I could +keep it, and I do not know how to apologize enough for my heedless breach +of good manners. + With the sincerest respect, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Samuel Clemens was one of the very few authors to copyright a book + in England before the enactment of the international copyright law. + As early as 1872 he copyrighted 'Roughing It' in England, and + piratical publishers there respected his rights. Finally, in 1887, + the inland revenue office assessed him with income tax, which he + very willingly paid, instructing his London publishers, Chatto & + Windus, to pay on the full amount he had received from them. But + when the receipt for his taxes came it was nearly a yard square with + due postage of considerable amount. Then he wrote: + + + To Mr. Chatto, of Chatto & Windus, in London: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 5, '87. +MY DEAR CHATTO,--Look here, I don't mind paying the tax, but don't you +let the Inland Revenue Office send me any more receipts for it, for the +postage is something perfectly demoralizing. If they feel obliged to +print a receipt on a horse-blanket, why don't they hire a ship and send +it over at their own expense? + +Wasn't it good that they caught me out with an old book instead of a new +one? The tax on a new book would bankrupt a body. It was my purpose to +go to England next May and stay the rest of the year, but I've found that +tax office out just in time. My new book would issue in March, and they +would tax the sale in both countries. Come, we must get up a compromise +somehow. You go and work in on the good side of those revenue people and +get them to take the profits and give me the tax. Then I will come over +and we will divide the swag and have a good time. + +I wish you to thank Mr. Christmas for me; but we won't resist. The +country that allows me copyright has a right to tax me. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Another English tax assessment came that year, based on the report + that it was understood that he was going to become an English + resident, and had leased Buckenham Hall, Norwich, for a year. + Clemens wrote his publishers: "I will explain that all that about + Buckenham Hall was an English newspaper's mistake. I was not in + England, and if I had been I wouldn't have been at Buckenham Hall, + anyway, but at Buckingham Palace, or I would have endeavored to find + out the reason why. Clemens made literature out of this tax + experience. He wrote an open letter to Her Majesty Queen Victoria. + Such a letter has no place in this collection. It was published in + the "Drawer" of Harper's Magazine, December, 1887, and is now + included in the uniform edition of his works under the title of, "A + Petition to the Queen of England." + + From the following letter, written at the end of the year, we gather + that the type-setter costs were beginning to make a difference in + the Clemens economies. + + + To Mrs. Moffett, in Fredonia: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 18, '87. +DEAR PAMELA,-- will you take this $15 and buy some candy or some other +trifle for yourself and Sam and his wife to remember that we remember +you, by? + +If we weren't a little crowded this year by the typesetter, I'd send a +check large enough to buy a family Bible or some other useful thing like +that. However we go on and on, but the type-setter goes on forever--at +$3,000 a month; which is much more satisfactory than was the case the +first seventeen months, when the bill only averaged $2,000,and promised +to take a thousand years. We'll be through, now, in 3 or 4 months, I +reckon, and then the strain will let up and we can breathe freely once +more, whether success ensues or failure. + +Even with a type-setter on hand we ought not to be in the least scrimped- +but it would take a long letter to explain why and who is to blame. + +All the family send love to all of you and best Christmas wishes for your +prosperity. + Affectionately, + SAM. + + + + +XXVIII + +LETTERS,1888. A YALE DEGREE. WORK ON "THE YANKEE." ON INTERVIEWING, +ETC. + + Mark Twain received his first college degree when he was made Master + of Arts by Yale, in June, 1888. Editor of the Courant, Charles H. + Clarke, was selected to notify him of his new title. Clarke was an + old friend to whom Clemens could write familiarly. + + + To Charles H. Clarke, in Hartford: + + ELMIRA, July 2, '88. +MY DEAR CHARLES,--Thanks for your thanks, and for your initiation +intentions. I shall be ready for you. I feel mighty proud of that +degree; in fact, I could squeeze the truth a little closer and say vain +of it. And why shouldn't I be? --I am the only literary animal of my +particular subspecies who has ever been given a degree by any College in +any age of the world, as far as I know. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. Clemens M. A. + + + Reply: Charles H. Clarke to S. L Clemens: + +MY DEAR FRIEND, You are "the only literary animal of your particular +subspecies" in existence and you've no cause for humility in the fact. +Yale has done herself at least as much credit as she has done you, and +"Don't you forget it." + C. H. C. + + + With the exception of his brief return to the river in 1882. Mark + Twain had been twenty-seven years away from pilots and piloting. + Nevertheless, he always kept a tender place in his heart for the old + times and for old river comrades. Major "Jack" Downing had been a + Mississippi pilot of early days, but had long since retired from the + river to a comfortable life ashore, in an Ohio town. Clemens had + not heard from him for years when a letter came which invited the + following answer. + + + To Major "Jack" Downing, in Middleport Ohio: + + ELMIRA, N. Y.[no month] 1888. +DEAR MAJOR,-- And has it come to this that the dead rise up and speak? +For I supposed that you were dead, it has been so long since I heard your +name. + +And how young you've grown! I was a mere boy when I knew you on the +river, where you had been piloting for 35 years, and now you are only a +year and a half older than I am! I mean to go to Hot Springs myself and +get 30 or 40 years knocked off my age. It's manifestly the place that +Ponce de Leon was striking for, but the poor fellow lost the trail. + +Possibly I may see you, for I shall be in St. Louis a day or two in +November. I propose to go down the river and "note the changes" once +more before I make the long crossing, and perhaps you can come there. +Will you? I want to see all the boys that are left alive. + +And so Grant Marsh, too, is flourishing yet? A mighty good fellow, and +smart too. When we were taking that wood flat down to the Chambers, +which was aground, I soon saw that I was a perfect lubber at piloting +such a thing. I saw that I could never hit the Chambers with it, so I +resigned in Marsh's favor, and he accomplished the task to my admiration. +We should all have gone to the mischief if I had remained in authority. +I always had good judgement, more judgement than talent, in fact. + +No; the nom de plume did not originate in that way. Capt. Sellers used +the signature, "Mark Twain," himself, when he used to write up the +antiquities in the way of river reminiscences for the New Orleans +Picayune. He hated me for burlesquing them in an article in the True +Delta; so four years later when he died, I robbed the corpse--that is I +confiscated the nom de plume. I have published this vital fact 3,000 +times now. But no matter, it is good practice; it is about the only fact +that I can tell the same way every time. Very glad, indeed, to hear from +you Major, and shall be gladder still to see you in November. + + Truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + He did not make the journey down the river planned for that year. + He had always hoped to make another steamboat trip with Bixby, but + one thing and another interfered and he did not go again. + + Authors were always sending their books to Mark Twain to read, and + no busy man was ever more kindly disposed toward such offerings, + more generously considerate of the senders. Louis Pendleton was a + young unknown writer in 1888, but Clemens took time to read his + story carefully, and to write to him about it a letter that cost + precious time, thought, and effort. It must have rejoiced the young + man's heart to receive a letter like that, from one whom all young + authors held supreme. + + + To Louis Pendleton, in Georgia: + + ELMIRA, N. Y., Aug. 4, '88. +MY DEAR SIR,--I found your letter an hour ago among some others which had +lain forgotten a couple of weeks, and I at once stole time enough to read +Ariadne. Stole is the right word, for the summer "Vacation" is the only +chance I get for work; so, no minute subtracted from work is borrowed, it +is stolen. But this time I do not repent. As a rule, people don't send +me books which I can thank them for, and so I say nothing--which looks +uncourteous. But I thank you. Ariadne is a beautiful and satisfying +story; and true, too--which is the best part of a story; or indeed of any +other thing. Even liars have to admit that, if they are intelligent +liars; I mean in their private [the word conscientious written but +erased] intervals. (I struck that word out because a man's private +thought can never be a lie; what he thinks, is to him the truth, always; +what he speaks--but these be platitudes.) + +If you want me to pick some flaws--very well--but I do it unwillingly. +I notice one thing--which one may notice also in my books, and in all +books whether written by man or God: trifling carelessness of statement +or Expression. If I think that you meant that she took the lizard from +the water which she had drawn from the well, it is evidence--it is almost +proof--that your words were not as clear as they should have been. True, +it is only a trifling thing; but so is mist on a mirror. I would have +hung the pail on Ariadne's arm. You did not deceive me when you said +that she carried it under her arm, for I knew she didn't; still it was +not your right to mar my enjoyment of the graceful picture. If the pail +had been a portfolio, I wouldn't be making these remarks. The engraver +of a fine picture revises, and revises, and revises -and then revises, +and revises, and revises; and then repeats. And always the charm of that +picture grows, under his hand. It was good enough before--told its +story, and was beautiful. True: and a lovely girl is lovely, with +freckles; but she isn't at her level best with them. + +This is not hypercriticism; you have had training enough to know that. + +So much concerning exactness of statement. In that other not-small +matter--selection of the exact single word--you are hard to catch. +Still, I should hold that Mrs. Walker considered that there was no +occasion for concealment; that "motive" implied a deeper mental search +than she expended on the matter; that it doesn't reflect the attitude of +her mind with precision. Is this hypercriticism? I shan't dispute it. +I only say, that if Mrs. Walker didn't go so far as to have a motive, I +had to suggest that when a word is so near the right one that a body +can't quite tell whether it is or isn't, it's good politics to strike it +out and go for the Thesaurus. That's all. Motive may stand; but you +have allowed a snake to scream, and I will not concede that that was the +best word. + +I do not apologize for saying these things, for they are not said in the +speck-hunting spirit, but in the spirit of want-to-help-if-I-can. They +would be useful to me if said to me once a month, they may be useful to +you, said once. + +I save the other stories for my real vacation--which is nine months long, +to my sorrow. I thank you again. + Truly Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + In the next letter we get a sidelight on the type-setting machine, + the Frankenstein monster that was draining their substance and + holding out false hopes of relief and golden return. The program + here outlined was one that would continue for several years yet, + with the end always in sight, but never quite attained. + + + To Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Ia.: + + Oct. 3, '88. +Private + +Saturday 29th, by a closely calculated estimate, there were 85 days' work +to do on the machine. + +We can use 4 men, but not constantly. If they could work constantly it +would complete the machine in 21 days, of course. They will all be on +hand and under wages, and each will get in all the work there is +opportunity for, but by how much they can reduce the 85 days toward the +21 days, nobody can tell. + +To-day I pay Pratt & Whitney $10,000. This squares back indebtedness and +everything to date. They began about May or April or March 1886--along +there somewhere, and have always kept from a dozen to two dozen master- +hands on the machine. + +That outgo is done; 4 men for a month or two will close up that leak and +caulk it. Work on the patents is also kind of drawing toward a +conclusion. + +Love to you both. All well here. + +And give our love to Ma if she can get the idea. + + SAM. + + + Mark Twain that year was working pretty steadily on 'The Yankee at + King Arthur's Court', a book which he had begun two years before. + He had published nothing since the Huck Finn story, and his company + was badly in need of a new book by an author of distinction. Also + it was highly desirable to earn money for himself; wherefore he set + to work to finish the Yankee story. He had worked pretty steadily + that summer in his Elmira study, but on his return to Hartford found + a good deal of confusion in the house, so went over to Twichell's, + where carpenter work was in progress. He seems to have worked there + successfully, though what improvement of conditions he found in that + numerous, lively household, over those at home it would be difficult + to say. + + + To Theodore W. Crane, at Quarry Farm, Elmira, N. Y. + + Friday, Oct.,5, '88. +DEAR THEO,--I am here in Twichell's house at work, with the noise of the +children and an army of carpenters to help. Of course they don't help, +but neither do they hinder. It's like a boiler-factory for racket, and +in nailing a wooden ceiling onto the room under me the hammering tickles +my feet amazingly sometimes, and jars my table a good deal; but I never +am conscious of the racket at all, and I move my feet into position of +relief without knowing when I do it. I began here Monday morning, and +have done eighty pages since. I was so tired last night that I thought I +would lie abed and rest, to-day; but I couldn't resist. I mean to try to +knock off tomorrow, but it's doubtful if I do. I want to finish the day +the machine finishes, and a week ago the closest calculations for that +indicated Oct. 22--but experience teaches me that their calculations will +miss fire, as usual. + +The other day the children were projecting a purchase, Livy and I to +furnish the money-a dollar and a half. Jean discouraged the idea. She +said: "We haven't got any money. Children, if you would think, you would +remember the machine isn't done. + +It's billiards to-night. I wish you were here. + With love to you both + S. L. C. + +P. S. I got it all wrong. It wasn't the children, it was Marie. She +wanted a box of blacking, for the children's shoes. Jean reproved her- +and said: + +"Why, Marie, you mustn't ask for things now. The machine isn't done. + + S. L. C. + + + The letter that follows is to another of his old pilot friends, one + who was also a schoolmate, Will Bowen, of Hannibal. There is today + no means of knowing the occasion upon which this letter was written, + but it does not matter; it is the letter itself that is of chief + value. + + + To Will Bowen, in Hannibal, Mo.: + + HARTFORD, Nov 4, '88. +DEAR WILL,-- I received your letter yesterday evening, just as I was +starting out of town to attend a wedding, and so my mind was privately +busy, all the evening, in the midst of the maelstrom of chat and chaff +and laughter, with the sort of reflections which create themselves, +examine themselves, and continue themselves, unaffected by surroundings +--unaffected, that is understood, by the surroundings, but not +uninfluenced by them. Here was the near presence of the two supreme +events of life: marriage, which is the beginning of life, and death which +is the end of it. I found myself seeking chances to shirk into corners +where I might think, undisturbed; and the most I got out of my thought, +was this: both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises +happiness, doubtless the other assures it. A long procession of people +filed through my mind--people whom you and I knew so many years ago--so +many centuries ago, it seems like-and these ancient dead marched to the +soft marriage music of a band concealed in some remote room of the house; +and the contented music and the dreaming shades seemed in right accord +with each other, and fitting. Nobody else knew that a procession of the +dead was passing though this noisy swarm of the living, but there it was, +and to me there was nothing uncanny about it; Rio, they were welcome +faces to me. I would have liked to bring up every creature we knew in +those days--even the dumb animals--it would be bathing in the fabled +Fountain of Youth. + +We all feel your deep trouble with you; and we would hope, if we might, +but your words deny us that privilege. To die one's self is a thing that +must be easy, and of light consequence, but to lose a part of one's self +--well, we know how deep that pang goes, we who have suffered that +disaster, received that wound which cannot heal. + Sincerely your friend + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + His next is of quite a different nature. Evidently the typesetting + conditions had alarmed Orion, and he was undertaking some economies + with a view of retrenchment. Orion was always reducing economy to + science. Once, at an earlier date, he recorded that he had figured + his personal living expenses down to sixty cents a week, but + inasmuch as he was then, by his own confession, unable to earn the + sixty cents, this particular economy was wasted. Orion was a trial, + certainly, and the explosion that follows was not without excuse. + Furthermore, it was not as bad as it sounds. Mark Twain's rages + always had an element of humor in them, a fact which no one more + than Orion himself would appreciate. He preserved this letter, + quietly noting on the envelope, "Letter from Sam, about ma's nurse." + + + Letter to Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa: + + NOV. 29, '88. +Jesus Christ!--It is perilous to write such a man. You can go crazy on +less material than anybody that ever lived. What in hell has produced +all these maniacal imaginings? You told me you had hired an attendant +for ma. Now hire one instantly, and stop this nonsense of wearing Mollie +and yourself out trying to do that nursing yourselves. Hire the +attendant, and tell me her cost so that I can instruct Webster & Co. to +add it every month to what they already send. Don't fool away any more +time about this. And don't write me any more damned rot about "storms," +and inability to pay trivial sums of money and--and--hell and damnation! +You see I've read only the first page of your letter; I wouldn't read the +rest for a million dollars. + Yr + SAM. + +P. S. Don't imagine that I have lost my temper, because I swear. I +swear all day, but I do not lose my temper. And don't imagine that I am +on my way to the poorhouse, for I am not; or that I am uneasy, for I am +not; or that I am uncomfortable or unhappy--for I never am. I don't know +what it is to be unhappy or uneasy; and I am not going to try to learn +how, at this late day. + SAM. + + + Few men were ever interviewed oftener than Mark Twain, yet he never + welcomed interviewers and was seldom satisfied with them. "What I + say in an interview loses it character in print," he often remarked, + "all its life and personality. The reporter realizes this himself, + and tries to improve upon me, but he doesn't help matters any." + + Edward W. Bok, before he became editor of the Ladies Home Journal, + was conducting a weekly syndicate column under the title of "Bok's + Literary Leaves." It usually consisted of news and gossip of + writers, comment, etc., literary odds and ends, and occasional + interviews with distinguished authors. He went up to Hartford one + day to interview Mark Twain. The result seemed satisfactory to Bok, + but wishing to be certain that it would be satisfactory to Clemens, + he sent him a copy for approval. The interview was not returned; + in the place of it came a letter-not altogether disappointing, as + the reader may believe. + + + To Edward W. Bok, in New York: + +MY DEAR MR. BOK,--No, no. It is like most interviews, pure twaddle and +valueless. + +For several quite plain and simple reasons, an "interview" must, as a +rule, be an absurdity, and chiefly for this reason--It is an attempt to +use a boat on land or a wagon on water, to speak figuratively. Spoken +speech is one thing, written speech is quite another. Print is the +proper vehicle for the latter, but it isn't for the former. The moment +"talk" is put into print you recognize that it is not what it was when +you heard it; you perceive that an immense something has disappeared from +it. That is its soul. You have nothing but a dead carcass left on your +hands. Color, play of feature, the varying modulations of the voice, the +laugh, the smile, the informing inflections, everything that gave that +body warmth, grace, friendliness and charm and commended it to your +affections--or, at least, to your tolerance--is gone and nothing is left +but a pallid, stiff and repulsive cadaver. + +Such is "talk" almost invariably, as you see it lying in state in an +"interview". The interviewer seldom tries to tell one how a thing was +said; he merely puts in the naked remark and stops there. When one +writes for print his methods are very different. He follows forms which +have but little resemblance to conversation, but they make the reader +understand what the writer is trying to convey. And when the writer is +making a story and finds it necessary to report some of the talk of his +characters observe how cautiously and anxiously he goes at that risky and +difficult thing. "If he had dared to say that thing in my presence," +said Alfred, "taking a mock heroic attitude, and casting an arch glance +upon the company, blood would have flowed." + +"If he had dared to say that thing in my presence," said Hawkwood, with +that in his eye which caused more than one heart in that guilty +assemblage to quake, "blood would have flowed." + +"If he had dared to say that thing in my presence," said the paltry +blusterer, with valor on his tongue and pallor on his lips, "blood would +have flowed." + +So painfully aware is the novelist that naked talk in print conveys no +meaning that he loads, and often overloads, almost every utterance of his +characters with explanations and interpretations. It is a loud +confession that print is a poor vehicle for "talk"; it is a recognition +that uninterpreted talk in print would result in confusion to the reader, +not instruction. + +Now, in your interview, you have certainly been most accurate; you have +set down the sentences I uttered as I said them. But you have not a word +of explanation; what my manner was at several points is not indicated. +Therefore, no reader can possibly know where I was in earnest and where I +was joking; or whether I was joking altogether or in earnest altogether. +Such a report of a conversation has no value. It can convey many +meanings to the reader, but never the right one. To add interpretations +which would convey the right meaning is a something which would require +--what? An art so high and fine and difficult that no possessor of it +would ever be allowed to waste it on interviews. + +No; spare the reader, and spare me; leave the whole interview out; it is +rubbish. I wouldn't talk in my sleep if I couldn't talk better than +that. + +If you wish to print anything print this letter; it may have some value, +for it may explain to a reader here and there why it is that in +interviews, as a rule, men seem to talk like anybody but themselves. + Very sincerely yours, + MARK TWAIN. + + + + +XXIX + +LETTERS, 1889. THE MACHINE. DEATH OF MR. CRANE. +CONCLUSION OF THE YANKEE + +In January, 1889, Clemens believed, after his long seven years of +waiting, fruition had come in the matter of the type machine. Paige, the +inventor, seemed at last to have given it its finishing touches. The +mechanical marvel that had cost so much time, mental stress, and a +fortune in money, stood complete, responsive to the human will and touch +--the latest, and one of the greatest, wonders of the world. To George +Standring, a London printer and publisher, Clemens wrote: "The machine is +finished!" and added, "This is by far the most marvelous invention ever +contrived by man. And it is not a thing of rags and patches; it is made +of massive steel, and will last a century. + +In his fever of enthusiasm on that day when he had actually seen it in +operation, he wrote a number of exuberant letters. They were more or +less duplicates, but as the one to his brother is of fuller detail and +more intimate than the others, it has been selected for preservation +here. + + To Orion Clemens, in Keokuk: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 5, '89. +DEAR ORION,--At 12.20 this afternoon a line of movable types was spaced +and justified by machinery, for the first time in the history of the +world! And I was there to see. It was done automatically--instantly-- +perfectly. This is indeed the first line of movable types that ever was +perfectly spaced and perfectly justified on this earth. + +This was the last function that remained to be tested--and so by long +odds the most amazing and extraordinary invention ever born of the brain +of man stands completed and perfect. Livy is down stairs celebrating. + +But it's a cunning devil, is that machine!--and knows more than any man +that ever lived. You shall see. We made the test in this way. We set +up a lot of random letters in a stick--three-fourths of a line; then +filled out the line with quads representing 14 spaces, each space to be +35/1000 of an inch thick. Then we threw aside the quads and put the +letters into the machine and formed them into 15 two-letter words, +leaving the words separated by two-inch vacancies. Then we started up +the machine slowly, by hand, and fastened our eyes on the space-selecting +pins. The first pin-block projected its third pin as the first word came +traveling along the race-way; second block did the same; but the third +block projected its second pin! + +"Oh, hell! stop the machine--something wrong--it's going to set a +30/1000 space!" + +General consternation. "A foreign substance has got into the spacing +plates." This from the head mathematician. + +"Yes, that is the trouble," assented the foreman. + +Paige examined. "No--look in, and you can see that there's nothing of +the kind." Further examination. "Now I know what it is--what it must +be: one of those plates projects and binds. It's too bad--the first +testis a failure." A pause. "Well, boys, no use to cry. Get to work-- +take the machine down.--No--Hold on! don't touch a thing! Go right +ahead! We are fools, the machine isn't. The machine knows what it's +about. There is a speck of dirt on one of those types, and the machine +is putting in a thinner space to allow for it!" + +That was just it. The machine went right ahead, spaced the line, +justified it to a hair, and shoved it into the galley complete and +perfect! We took it out and examined it with a glass. You could not +tell by your eye that the third space was thinner than the others, but +the glass and the calipers showed the difference. Paige had always said +that the machine would measure invisible particles of dirt and allow for +them, but even he had forgotten that vast fact for the moment. + +All the witnesses made written record of the immense historical birth-- +the first justification of a line of movable type by machinery--and also +set down the hour and the minute. Nobody had drank anything, and yet +everybody seemed drunk. Well-dizzy, stupefied, stunned. + +All the other wonderful inventions of the human brain sink pretty nearly +into commonplace contrasted with this awful mechanical miracle. +Telephones, telegraphs, locomotives, cotton gins, sewing machines, +Babbage calculators, jacquard looms, perfecting presses, Arkwrigbt's +frames--all mere toys, simplicities! The Paige Compositor marches alone +and far in the lead of human inventions. + +In two or three weeks we shall work the stiffness out of her joints and +have her performing as smoothly and softly as human muscles, and then we +shall speak out the big secret and let the world come and gaze. + +Return me this letter when you have read it. + + SAM. + + + Judge of the elation which such a letter would produce in Keokuk! + Yet it was no greater than that which existed in Hartford--for a + time. + + Then further delays. Before the machine got "the stiffness out of + her joints" that "cunning devil" manifested a tendency to break the + types, and Paige, who was never happier than when he was pulling + things to pieces and making improvements, had the type-setter apart + again and the day of complete triumph was postponed. + + There was sadness at the Elmira farm that spring. Theodore Crane, + who had long been in poor health, seemed to grow daily worse. In + February he had paid a visit to Hartford and saw the machine in + operation, but by the end of May his condition was very serious. + Remembering his keen sense of humor, Clemens reported to him + cheering and amusing incidents. + + + To Mrs. Theodore Crane. in Elmira, N. Y.: + + HARTFORD, May 28, '89. +Susie dear, I want you to tell this to Theodore. You know how absent- +minded Twichell is, and how desolate his face is when he is in that +frame. At such times, he passes the word with a friend on the street and +is not aware of the meeting at all. Twice in a week, our Clara had this +latter experience with him within the past month. But the second +instance was too much for her, and she woke him up, in his tracks, with a +reproach. She said: + +"Uncle Joe, why do you always look as if you were just going down into +the grave, when you meet a person on the street?"--and then went on to +reveal to him the funereal spectacle which he presented on such +occasions. Well, she has met Twichell three times since then, and would +swim the Connecticut to avoid meeting him the fourth. As soon as he +sights her, no matter how public the place nor how far off she is, he +makes a bound into the air, heaves arms and legs into all sorts of +frantic gestures of delight, and so comes prancing, skipping and +pirouetting for her like a drunken Indian entering heaven. + +With a full invoice of love from us all to you and Theodore. + + S. L. C. + + + The reference in the next to the "closing sentence" in a letter + written by Howells to Clemens about this time, refers to a heart- + broken utterance of the former concerning his daughter Winnie, who + had died some time before. She had been a gentle talented girl, but + never of robust health. Her death had followed a long period of + gradual decline. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Judy 13, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I came on from Elmira a day or two ago, where I left a +house of mourning. Mr. Crane died, after ten months of pain and two +whole days of dying, at the farm on the hill, the 3rd inst: A man who had +always hoped for a swift death. Mrs. Crane and Mrs. Clemens and the +children were in a gloom which brought back to me the days of nineteen +years ago, when Mr. Langdon died. It is heart-breaking to see Mrs. +Crane. Many a time, in the past ten days, the sight of her has reminded +me, with a pang, of the desolation which uttered itself in the closing +sentence of your last letter to me. I do see that there is an argument +against suicide: the grief of the worshipers left behind; the awful +famine in their hearts, these are too costly terms for the release. + +I shall be here ten days yet, and all alone: nobody in the house but the +servants. Can't Mrs. Howells spare you to me? Can't you come and stay +with me? The house is cool and pleasant; your work will not be +interrupted; we will keep to ourselves and let the rest of the world do +the same; you can have your choice of three bedrooms, and you will find +the Children's schoolroom (which was built for my study,) the perfection +of a retired and silent den for work. There isn't a fly or a mosquito on +the estate. Come--say you will. + +With kindest regards to Mrs. Howells, and Pilla and John, + Yours Ever + MARK. + + +Howells was more hopeful. He wrote: "I read something in a strange book, +The Physical Theory of Another Life, that consoles a little; namely, we +see and feel the power of Deity in such fullness that we ought to infer +the infinite justice and Goodness which we do not see or feel." And a +few days later, he wrote: "I would rather see and talk with you than any +other man in the world outside my own blood." + +A Connecticut Yankee at King Arthur's Court was brought to an end that +year and given to the artist and printer. Dan Beard was selected for the +drawings, and was given a free hand, as the next letter shows. + + + To Fred J. Hall, Manager Charles L. Webster & Co.: + +[Charles L. Webster, owing to poor health, had by this time retired +from the firm.] + + ELMIRA, July 20, '89. +DEAR MR. HALL,-- Upon reflection--thus: tell Beard to obey his own +inspiration, and when he sees a picture in his mind put that picture on +paper, be it humorous or be it serious. I want his genius to be wholly +unhampered, I shan't have fears as to the result. They will be better +pictures than if I mixed in and tried to give him points on his own +trade. + +Send this note and he'll understand. + Yr + S. L. C. + + + Clemens had made a good choice in selecting Beard for the + illustrations. He was well qualified for the work, and being of a + socialistic turn of mind put his whole soul into it. When the + drawings were completed, Clemens wrote: "Hold me under permanent + obligations. What luck it was to find you! There are hundreds of + artists that could illustrate any other book of mine, but there was + only one who could illustrate this one. Yes, it was a fortunate + hour that I went netting for lightning bugs and caught a meteor. + Live forever!" + + Clemens, of course, was anxious for Howells to read The Yankee, and + Mrs. Clemens particularly so. Her eyes were giving her trouble that + summer, so that she could not read the MS. for herself, and she had + grave doubts as to some of its chapters. It may be said here that + the book to-day might have been better if Mrs. Clemens had been able + to read it. Howells was a peerless critic, but the revolutionary + subject-matter of the book so delighted him that he was perhaps + somewhat blinded to its literary defects. However, this is + premature. Howells did not at once see the story. He had promised + to come to Hartford, but wrote that trivial matters had made his + visit impossible. From the next letter we get the situation at this + time. The "Mr. Church" mentioned was Frederick S. Church, the well- + known artist. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 24, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I, too, was as sorry as I could be; yes, and desperately +disappointed. I even did a heroic thing: shipped my book off to New York +lest I should forget hospitality and embitter your visit with it. Not +that I think you wouldn't like to read it, for I think you would; but not +on a holiday that's not the time. I see how you were situated--another +familiarity of Providence and wholly wanton intrusion--and of course we +could not help ourselves. Well, just think of it: a while ago, while +Providence's attention was absorbed in disordering some time-tables so as +to break up a trip of mine to Mr. Church's on the Hudson, that Johnstown +dam got loose. I swear I was afraid to pray, for fear I should laugh. +Well, I'm not going to despair; we'll manage a meet yet. + +I expect to go to Hartford again in August and maybe remain till I have +to come back here and fetch the family. And, along there in August, some +time, you let on that you are going to Mexico, and I will let on that I +am going to Spitzbergen, and then under cover of this clever stratagem we +will glide from the trains at Worcester and have a time. I have noticed +that Providence is indifferent about Mexico and Spitzbergen. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Possibly Mark Twain was not particularly anxious that Howells should + see his MS., fearing that he might lay a ruthless hand on some of + his more violent fulminations and wild fancies. However this may + be, further postponement was soon at an end. Mrs. Clemens's eyes + troubled her and would not permit her to read, so she requested that + the Yankee be passed upon by soberminded critics, such as Howells + and Edmund Clarence Stedman. Howells wrote that even if he hadn't + wanted to read the book for its own sake, or for the author's sake, + he would still want to do it for Mrs. Clemens's. Whereupon the + proofs were started in his direction. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 24, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--If you should be moved to speak of my book in the Study, +I shall be glad and proud--and the sooner it gets in, the better for the +book; though I don't suppose you can get it in earlier than the November +number--why, no, you can't get it in till a month later than that. Well, +anyway I don't think I'll send out any other press copy--except perhaps +to Stedman. I'm not writing for those parties who miscall themselves +critics, and I don't care to have them paw the book at all. It's my +swan-song, my retirement from literature permanently, and I wish to pass +to the cemetery unclodded. + +I judge that the proofs have begun to reach you about this time, as I had +some (though not revises,) this morning. I'm sure I'm going to be +charmed with Beard's pictures. Observe his nice take-off of Middle-Age +art-dinner-table scene. + Ys sincerely + MARK. + + + Howells's approval of the Yankee came almost in the form of exultant + shouts, one after reading each batch of proof. First he wrote: + "It's charming, original, wonderful! good in fancy and sound to the + core in morals." And again, "It's a mighty great book, and it makes + my heart burn with wrath. It seems God did not forget to put a soul + into you. He shuts most literary men off with a brain, merely." + Then, a few days later: "The book is glorious--simply noble; what + masses of virgin truth never touched in print before!" and, finally, + "Last night I read your last chapter. As Stedman says of the whole + book, it's titanic." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Sept. 22, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--It is immensely good of you to grind through that stuff +for me; but it gives peace to Mrs. Clemens's soul; and I am as grateful +to you as a body can be. I am glad you approve of what I say about the +French Revolution. Few people will. It is odd that even to this day +Americans still observe that immortal benefaction through English and +other monarchical eyes, and have no shred of an opinion about it that +they didn't get at second-hand. + +Next to the 4th of July and its results, it was the noblest and the +holiest thing and the most precious that ever happened in this earth. +And its gracious work is not done yet--not anywhere in the remote +neighborhood of it. + +Don't trouble to send me all the proofs; send me the pages with your +corrections on them, and waste-basket the rest. We issue the book +Dec. 10; consequently a notice that appears Dec. 20 will be just in good +time. + +I am waiting to see your Study set a fashion in criticism. When that +happens--as please God it must--consider that if you lived three +centuries you couldn't do a more valuable work for this country, or a +humaner. + +As a rule a critic's dissent merely enrages, and so does no good; but by +the new art which you use, your dissent must be as welcome as your +approval, and as valuable. I do not know what the secret of it is, +unless it is your attitude--man courteously reasoning with man and +brother, in place of the worn and wearisome critical attitude of all this +long time--superior being lecturing a boy. + +Well, my book is written--let it go. But if it were only to write over +again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me; and +they keep multiplying and multiplying; but now they can't ever be said. +And besides, they would require a library--and a pen warmed up in hell. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + The type-setting machine began to loom large in the background. + Clemens believed it perfected by this time. Paige had got it + together again and it was running steadily--or approximately so + --setting type at a marvelous speed and with perfect accuracy. In + time an expert operator would be able to set as high as eight + thousand ems per hour, or about ten times as much as a good + compositor could set and distribute by hand. Those who saw it were + convinced--most of them--that the type-setting problem was solved by + this great mechanical miracle. If there were any who doubted, it + was because of its marvelously minute accuracy which the others only + admired. Such accuracy, it was sometimes whispered, required + absolutely perfect adjustment, and what would happen when the great + inventor--"the poet in steel," as Clemens once called him--was no + longer at hand to supervise and to correct the slightest variation. + But no such breath of doubt came to Mark Twain; he believed the + machine as reliable as a constellation. + + But now there was need of capital to manufacture and market the + wonder. Clemens, casting about in his mind, remembered Senator + Jones, of Nevada, a man of great wealth, and his old friend, Joe + Goodman, of Nevada, in whom Jones had unlimited confidence. He + wrote to Goodman, and in this letter we get a pretty full exposition + of the whole matter as it stood in the fall of 1889. We note in + this communication that Clemens says that he has been at the machine + three years and seven months, but this was only the period during + which he had spent the regular monthly sum of three thousand + dollars. His interest in the invention had begun as far back as + 1880. + + + To Joseph T. Goodman, in Nevada: + + Private. HARTFORD, Oct. 7, '89. +DEAR JOE,-I had a letter from Aleck Badlam day before yesterday, and in +answering him I mentioned a matter which I asked him to consider a secret +except to you and John McComb,--[This is Col. McComb, of the Alta- +California, who had sent Mark Twain on the Quaker City excursion]--as I +am not ready yet to get into the newspapers. + +I have come near writing you about this matter several times, but it +wasn't ripe, and I waited. It is ripe, now. It is a type-setting +machine which I undertook to build for the inventor(for a consideration). +I have been at it three years and seven months without losing a day, at a +cost of $3,000 a month, and in so private a way that Hartford has known +nothing about it. Indeed only a dozen men have known of the matter. +I have reported progress from time to time to the proprietors of the +N. Y. Sun, Herald, Times, World, Harper Brothers and John F. Trow; also +to the proprietors of the Boston Herald and the Boston Globe. Three +years ago I asked all these people to squelch their frantic desire to +load up their offices with the Mergenthaler (N. Y. Tribune) machine, and +wait for mine and then choose between the two. They have waited--with no +very gaudy patience--but still they have waited; and I could prove to +them to-day that they have not lost anything by it. But I reserve the +proof for the present--except in the case of the N. Y. Herald; I sent an +invitation there the other day--a courtesy due a paper which ordered +$240,000 worth of our machines long ago when it was still in a crude +condition. The Herald has ordered its foreman to come up here next +Thursday; but that is the only invitation which will go out for some time +yet. + +The machine was finished several weeks ago, and has been running ever +since in the machine shop. It is a magnificent creature of steel, all of +Pratt & Whitney's super-best workmanship, and as nicely adjusted and as +accurate as a watch. In construction it is as elaborate and complex as +that machine which it ranks next to, by every right--Man--and in +performance it is as simple and sure. + +Anybody can set type on it who can read--and can do it after only 15 +minutes' instruction. The operator does not need to leave his seat at +the keyboard; for the reason that he is not required to do anything but +strike the keys and set type--merely one function; the spacing, +justifying, emptying into the galley, and distributing of dead matter is +all done by the machine without anybody's help--four functions. + +The ease with which a cub can learn is surprising. Day before yesterday +I saw our newest cub set, perfectly space and perfectly justify 2,150 ems +of solid nonpareil in an hour and distribute the like amount in the same +hour--and six hours previously he had never seen the machine or its +keyboard. It was a good hour's work for 3-year veterans on the other +type-setting machines to do. We have 3 cubs. The dean of the trio is a +school youth of 18. Yesterday morning he had been an apprentice on the +machine 16 working days (8-hour days); and we speeded him to see what he +could do in an hour. In the hour he set 5,900 ems solid nonpareil, and +the machine perfectly spaced and justified it, and of course distributed +the like amount in the same hour. Considering that a good fair +compositor sets 700 and distributes 700 in the one hour, this boy did the +work of about 8 x a compositors in that hour. This fact sends all other +type-setting machines a thousand miles to the rear, and the best of them +will never be heard of again after we publicly exhibit in New York. + +We shall put on 3 more cubs. We have one school boy and two compositors, +now,--and we think of putting on a type writer, a stenographer, and +perhaps a shoemaker, to show that no special gifts or training are +required with this machine. We shall train these beginners two or three +months--or until some one of them gets up to 7,000 an hour--then we will +show up in New York and run the machine 24 hours a day 7 days in the +week, for several months--to prove that this is a machine which will +never get out of order or cause delay, and can stand anything an anvil +can stand. You know there is no other typesetting machine that can run +two hours on a stretch without causing trouble and delay with its +incurable caprices. + +We own the whole field--every inch of it--and nothing can dislodge us. + +Now then, above is my preachment, and here follows the reason and purpose +of it. I want you to run over here, roost over the machine a week and +satisfy yourself, and then go to John P. Jones or to whom you please, and +sell me a hundred thousand dollars' worth of this property and take ten +per cent in cash or the "property" for your trouble--the latter, if you +are wise, because the price I ask is a long way short of the value. + +What I call "property" is this. A small part of my ownership consists of +a royalty of $500 on every machine marketed under the American patents. +My selling-terms are, a permanent royalty of one dollar on every +American-marketed machine for a thousand dollars cash to me in hand paid. +We shan't market any fewer than 5,000 machines in 15 years--a return of +fifteen thousand dollars for one thousand. A royalty is better than +stock, in one way--it must be paid, every six months, rain or shine; it +is a debt, and must be paid before dividends are declared. By and by, +when we become a stock company I shall buy these royalties back for stock +if I can get them for anything like reasonable terms. + +I have never borrowed a penny to use on the machine, and never sold a +penny's worth of the property until the machine was entirely finished and +proven by the severest tests to be what she started out to be--perfect, +permanent, and occupying the position, as regards all kindred machines, +which the City of Paris occupies as regards the canvas-backs of the +mercantile marine. + +It is my purpose to sell two hundred dollars of my royalties at the above +price during the next two months and keep the other $300. + +Mrs. Clemens begs Mrs. Goodman to come with you, and asks pardon for not +writing the message herself--which would be a pathetically-welcome +spectacle to me; for I have been her amanuensis for 8 months, now, since +her eyes failed her. Yours as always + MARK. + + + While this letter with its amazing contents is on its way to + astonish Joe Goodman, we will consider one of quite a different, + but equally characteristic sort. We may assume that Mark Twain's + sister Pamela had been visiting him in Hartford and was now making + a visit in Keokuk. + + + To Mrs. Moffett, in Keokuk: + + HARTFORD, Oct 9, '89. +DEAR PAMELA,--An hour after you left I was suddenly struck with a +realizing sense of the utter chuckle-headedness of that notion of mine: +to send your trunk after you. Land! it was idiotic. None but a lunatic +would, separate himself from his baggage. + +Well, I am soulfully glad the baggage fetcher saved me from consummating +my insane inspiration. I met him on the street in the afternoon and paid +him again. I shall pay him several times more, as opportunity offers. + +I declined the invitation to banquet with the visiting South American +Congress, in a polite note explaining that I had to go to New York today. +I conveyed the note privately to Patrick; he got the envelope soiled, +and asked Livy to put on a clean one. That is why I am going to the +banquet; also why I have disinvited the boys I thought I was going to +punch billiards with, upstairs to-night. + +Patrick is one of the injudiciousest people I ever struck. And I am the +other. + Your Brother + SAM. + + + The Yankee was now ready for publication, and advance sheets were + already in the reviewers' hands. Just at this moment the Brazilian + monarchy crumbled, and Clemens was moved to write Sylvester Baxter, + of the Boston Herald, a letter which is of special interest in its + prophecy of the new day, the dawn of which was even nearer than he + suspected. + + +DEAR MR. BAXTER, Another throne has gone down, and I swim in oceans of +satisfaction. I wish I might live fifty years longer; I believe I should +see the thrones of Europe selling at auction for old iron. I believe I +should really see the end of what is surely the grotesquest of all the +swindles ever invented by man-monarchy. It is enough to make a graven +image laugh, to see apparently rational people, away down here in this +wholesome and merciless slaughter-day for shams, still mouthing empty +reverence for those moss-backed frauds and scoundrelisms, hereditary +kingship and so-called "nobility." It is enough to make the monarchs and +nobles themselves laugh--and in private they do; there can be no question +about that. I think there is only one funnier thing, and that is the +spectacle of these bastard Americans--these Hamersleys and Huntingtons +and such--offering cash, encumbered by themselves, for rotten carcases +and stolen titles. When our great brethren the disenslaved Brazilians +frame their Declaration of Independence, I hope they will insert this +missing link: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all monarchs +are usurpers, and descendants of usurpers; for the reason that no throne +was ever set up in this world by the will, freely exercised, of the only +body possessing the legitimate right to set it up--the numerical mass of +the nation." + +You already have the advance sheets of my forthcoming book in your hands. +If you will turn to about the five hundredth page, you will find a state +paper of my Connecticut Yankee in which he announces the dissolution of +King Arthur's monarchy and proclaims the English Republic. Compare it +with the state paper which announces the downfall of the Brazilian +monarchy and proclaims the Republic of the United States of Brazil, and +stand by to defend the Yankee from plagiarism. There is merely a +resemblance of ideas, nothing more. The Yankee's proclamation was +already in print a week ago. This is merely one of those odd +coincidences which are always turning up. Come, protect the Yank from +that cheapest and easiest of all charges--plagiarism. Otherwise, you +see, he will have to protect himself by charging approximate and +indefinite plagiarism upon the official servants of our majestic twin +down yonder, and then there might be war, or some similar annoyance. + +Have you noticed the rumor that the Portuguese throne is unsteady, and +that the Portuguese slaves are getting restive? Also, that the head +slave-driver of Europe, Alexander III, has so reduced his usual monthly +order for chains that the Russian foundries are running on only half time +now? Also that other rumor that English nobility acquired an added +stench the other day--and had to ship it to India and the continent +because there wasn't any more room for it at home? Things are working. +By and by there is going to be an emigration, may be. Of course we shall +make no preparation; we never do. In a few years from now we shall have +nothing but played-out kings and dukes on the police, and driving the +horse-cars, and whitewashing fences, and in fact overcrowding all the +avenues of unskilled labor; and then we shall wish, when it is too late, +that we had taken common and reasonable precautions and drowned them at +Castle Garden. + + + There followed at this time a number of letters to Goodman, but as + there is much of a sameness in them, we need not print them all. + Clemens, in fact, kept the mails warm with letters bulging with + schemes for capitalization, and promising vast wealth to all + concerned. When the letters did not go fast enough he sent + telegrams. In one of the letters Goodman is promised "five hundred + thousand dollars out of the profits before we get anything + ourselves." One thing we gather from these letters is that Paige + has taken the machine apart again, never satisfied with its + perfection, or perhaps getting a hint that certain of its + perfections were not permanent. A letter at the end of November + seems worth preserving here. + + + To Joseph T. Goodman, in California: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 29, '89. +DEAR JOE, Things are getting into better and more flexible shape every +day. Papers are now being drawn which will greatly simplify the raising +of capital; I shall be in supreme command; it will not be necessary for +the capitalist to arrive at terms with anybody but me. I don't want to +dicker with anybody but Jones. I know him; that is to say, I want to +dicker with you, and through you with Jones. Try to see if you can't be +here by the 15th of January. + +The machine was as perfect as a watch when we took her apart the other +day; but when she goes together again the 15th of January we expect her +to be perfecter than a watch. + +Joe, I want you to sell some royalties to the boys out there, if you can, +for I want to be financially strong when we go to New York. You know the +machine, and you appreciate its future enormous career better than any +man I know. At the lowest conceivable estimate (2,000 machines a year,) +we shall sell 34,000 in the life of the patent--17 years. + +All the family send love to you--and they mean it, or they wouldn't say +it. + Yours ever + MARK. + + + The Yankee had come from the press, and Howells had praised it in + the "Editor's Study" in Harper's Magazine. He had given it his + highest commendation, and it seems that his opinion of it did not + change with time. "Of all fanciful schemes of fiction it pleases me + most," he in one place declared, and again referred to it as + "a greatly imagined and symmetrically developed tale." + + In more than one letter to Goodman, Clemens had urged him to come + East without delay. "Take the train, Joe, and come along," he wrote + early in December. And we judge from the following that Joe had + decided to come. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 23, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--The magazine came last night, and the Study notice is just +great. The satisfaction it affords us could not be more prodigious if +the book deserved every word of it; and maybe it does; I hope it does, +though of course I can't realize it and believe it. But I am your +grateful servant, anyway and always. + +I am going to read to the Cadets at West Point Jan. 11. I go from here +to New York the 9th, and up to the Point the 11th. Can't you go with me? +It's great fun. I'm going to read the passages in the "Yankee" in which +the Yankee's West Point cadets figure--and shall covertly work in a +lecture on aristocracy to those boys. I am to be the guest of the +Superintendent, but if you will go I will shake him and we will go to the +hotel. He is a splendid fellow, and I know him well enough to take that +liberty. + +And won't you give me a day or two's visit toward the end of January? +For two reasons: the machine will be at work again by that time, and we +want to hear the rest of the dream-story; Mrs. Clemens keeps speaking +about it and hankering for it. And we can have Joe Goodman on hand again +by that time, and I want you to get to know him thoroughly. It's well +worth it. I am going to run up and stay over night with you as soon as I +can get a chance. + +We are in the full rush of the holidays now, and an awful rush it is, +too. You ought to have been here the other day, to make that day perfect +and complete. All alone I managed to inflict agonies on Mrs: Clemens, +whereas I was expecting nothing but praises. I made a party call the day +after the party--and called the lady down from breakfast to receive it. +I then left there and called on a new bride, who received me in her +dressing-gown; and as things went pretty well, I stayed to luncheon. +The error here was, that the appointed reception-hour was 3 in the +afternoon, and not at the bride's house but at her aunt's in another part +of the town. However, as I meant well, none of these disasters +distressed me. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + The Yankee did not find a very hearty welcome in England. English + readers did not fancy any burlesque of their Arthurian tales, or + American strictures on their institutions. Mark Twain's publishers + had feared this, and asked that the story be especially edited for + the English edition. Clemens, however, would not listen to any + suggestions of the sort. + + + To Messrs. Chatto & Windus, in London, Eng.: + +GENTLEMEN,--Concerning The Yankee, I have already revised the story +twice; and it has been read critically by W. D. Howells and Edmund +Clarence Stedman, and my wife has caused me to strike out several +passages that have been brought to her attention, and to soften others. +Furthermore, I have read chapters of the book in public where Englishmen +were present and have profited by their suggestions. + +Now, mind you, I have taken all this pains because I wanted to say a +Yankee mechanic's say against monarchy and its several natural props, +and yet make a book which you would be willing to print exactly as it +comes to you, without altering a word. + +We are spoken of (by Englishmen) as a thin-skinned people. It is you who +are thin-skinned. An Englishman may write with the most brutal frankness +about any man or institution among us and we republish him without +dreaming of altering a line or a word. But England cannot stand that +kind of a book written about herself. It is England that is thin- +skinned. It causeth me to smile when I read the modifications of my +language which have been made in my English editions to fit them for the +sensitive English palate. + +Now, as I say, I have taken laborious pains to so trim this book of +offense that you might not lack the nerve to print it just as it stands. +I am going to get the proofs to you just as early as I can. I want you +to read it carefully. If you can publish it without altering a single +word, go ahead. Otherwise, please hand it to J. R. Osgood in time for +him to have it published at my expense. + +This is important, for the reason that the book was not written for +America; it was written for England. So many Englishmen have done their +sincerest best to teach us something for our betterment that it seems to +me high time that some of us should substantially recognize the good +intent by trying to pry up the English nation to a little higher level of +manhood in turn. + Very truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +The English nation, at least a considerable portion of it, did not wish +to be "pried up to a higher level of manhood" by a Connecticut Yankee. +The papers pretty generally denounced the book as coarse; in fact, a +vulgar travesty. Some of the critics concluded that England, after all, +had made a mistake in admiring Mark Twain. Clemens stood this for a time +and then seems to have decided that something should be done. One of the +foremost of English critics was his friend and admirer; he would state +the case to him fully and invite his assistance. + + + To Andrew Lang, in London: + +[First page missing.] + + 1889 +They vote but do not print. The head tells you pretty promptly whether +the food is satisfactory or not; and everybody hears, and thinks the +whole man has spoken. It is a delusion. Only his taste and his smell +have been heard from--important, both, in a way, but these do not build +up the man; and preserve his life and fortify it. + +The little child is permitted to label its drawings "This is a cow this +is a horse," and so on. This protects the child. It saves it from the +sorrow and wrong of hearing its cows and its horses criticized as +kangaroos and work benches. A man who is white-washing a fence is doing +a useful thing, so also is the man who is adorning a rich man's house +with costly frescoes; and all of us are sane enough to judge these +performances by standards proper to each. Now, then, to be fair, an +author ought to be allowed to put upon his book an explanatory line: +"This is written for the Head; "This is written for the Belly and the +Members." And the critic ought to hold himself in honor bound to put +away from him his ancient habit of judging all books by one standard, and +thenceforth follow a fairer course. + +The critic assumes, every time, that if a book doesn't meet the +cultivated-class standard, it isn't valuable. Let us apply his law all +around: for if it is sound in the case of novels, narratives, pictures, +and such things, it is certainly sound and applicable to all the steps +which lead up to culture and make culture possible. It condemns the +spelling book, for a spelling book is of no use to a person of culture; +it condemns all school books and all schools which lie between the +child's primer and Greek, and between the infant school and the +university; it condemns all the rounds of art which lie between the cheap +terra cotta groups and the Venus de Medici, and between the chromo and +the Transfiguration; it requires Whitcomb Riley to sing no more till he +can sing like Shakespeare, and it forbids all amateur music and will +grant its sanction to nothing below the "classic." + +Is this an extravagant statement? No, it is a mere statement of fact. +It is the fact itself that is extravagant and grotesque. And what is the +result? This--and it is sufficiently curious: the critic has actually +imposed upon the world the superstition that a painting by Raphael is +more valuable to the civilizations of the earth than is a chromo; and the +august opera than the hurdy-gurdy and the villagers' singing society; and +Homer than the little everybody's-poet whose rhymes are in all mouths +today and will be in nobody's mouth next generation; and the Latin +classics than Kipling's far-reaching bugle-note; and Jonathan Edwards +than the Salvation Army; and the Venus de Medici than the plaster-cast +peddler; the superstition, in a word, that the vast and awful comet that +trails its cold lustre through the remote abysses of space once a century +and interests and instructs a cultivated handful of astronomers is worth +more to the world than the sun which warms and cheers all the nations +every day and makes the crops to grow. + +If a critic should start a religion it would not have any object but to +convert angels: and they wouldn't need it. The thin top crust of +humanity--the cultivated--are worth pacifying, worth pleasing, worth +coddling, worth nourishing and preserving with dainties and delicacies, +it is true; but to be caterer to that little faction is no very dignified +or valuable occupation, it seems to me; it is merely feeding the over- +fed, and there must be small satisfaction in that. It is not that little +minority who are already saved that are best worth trying to uplift, +I should think, but the mighty mass of the uncultivated who are +underneath. That mass will never see the Old Masters--that sight is for +the few; but the chromo maker can lift them all one step upward toward +appreciation of art; they cannot have the opera, but the hurdy-gurdy and +the singing class lift them a little way toward that far light; they will +never know Homer, but the passing rhymester of their day leaves them +higher than he found them; they may never even hear of the Latin +classics, but they will strike step with Kipling's drum-beat, and they +will march; for all Jonathan Edwards's help they would die in their +slums, but the Salvation Army will beguile some of them up to pure air +and a cleaner life; they know no sculpture, the Venus is not even a name +to them, but they are a grade higher in the scale of civilization by the +ministrations of the plaster-cast than they were before it took its place +upon then mantel and made it beautiful to their unexacting eyes. + +Indeed I have been misjudged, from the very first. I have never tried in +even one single instance, to help cultivate the cultivated classes. +I was not equipped for it, either by native gifts or training. And I +never had any ambition in that direction, but always hunted for bigger +game--the masses. I have seldom deliberately tried to instruct them, +but have done my best to entertain them. To simply amuse them would have +satisfied my dearest ambition at any time; for they could get instruction +elsewhere, and I had two chances to help to the teacher's one: for +amusement is a good preparation for study and a good healer of fatigue +after it. My audience is dumb, it has no voice in print, and so I cannot +know whether I have won its approbation or only got its censure. + +Yes, you see, I have always catered for the Belly and the Members, but +have been served like the others--criticized from the culture-standard +--to my sorrow and pain; because, honestly, I never cared what became of +the cultured classes; they could go to the theatre and the opera--they +had no use for me and the melodeon. + +And now at last I arrive at my object and tender my petition, making +supplication to this effect: that the critics adopt a rule recognizing +the Belly and the Members, and formulate a standard whereby work done for +them shall be judged. Help me, Mr. Lang; no voice can reach further than +yours in a case of this kind, or carry greater weight of authority. + + + Lang's reply was an article in the Illustrated London News on "The + Art of Mark Twain." Lang had no admiration to express for the + Yankee, which he confessed he had not cared to read, but he + glorified Huck Finn to the highest. "I can never forget, nor be + ungrateful for the exquisite pleasure with which I read Huckleberry + Finn for the first time, years ago," he wrote; "I read it again last + night, deserting Kenilworth for Huck. I never laid it down till I + had finished it." + + Lang closed his article by referring to the story of Huck as the + "great American novel which had escaped the eyes of those who + watched to see this new planet swim into their ken." + + + + + +LETTERS, 1890, CHIEFLY TO JOS. T. GOODMAN. THE GREAT MACHINE ENTERPRISE + + Dr. John Brown's son, whom Mark Twain and his wife had known in 1873 + as "Jock," sent copies of Dr. John Brown and His Sister Isabella, by + E. T. McLaren. It was a gift appreciated in the Clemens home. + + + To Mr. John Brown, in Edinburgh, Scotland: + + HARTFORD, Feby 11, 1890. +DEAR MR. BROWN,--Both copies came, and we are reading and re-reading the +one, and lending the other, to old time adorers of "Rab and his Friends." +It is an exquisite book; the perfection of literary workmanship. It says +in every line, "Don't look at me, look at him"--and one tries to be good +and obey; but the charm of the painter is so strong that one can't keep +his entire attention on the developing portrait, but must steal side- +glimpses of the artist, and try to divine the trick of her felicitous +brush. In this book the doctor lives and moves just as he was. He was +the most extensive slave-holder of his time, and the kindest; and yet he +died without setting one of his bondmen free. We all send our very, very +kindest regards. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + If Mark Twain had been less interested in the type-setting machine + he might possibly have found a profit that winter in the old Sellers + play, which he had written with Howells seven years before. The + play had eventually been produced at the Lyceum Theatre in New York, + with A. P. Burbank in the leading role, and Clemens and Howells as + financial backers. But it was a losing investment, nor did it pay + any better when Clemens finally sent Burbank with it on the road. + Now, however, James A. Herne, a well-known actor and playwright, + became interested in the idea, after a discussion of the matter with + Howells, and there seemed a probability that with changes made under + Herne's advisement the play might be made sensible and successful. + + But Mark Twain's greater interest was now all in the type-machine, + and certainly he had no money to put into any other venture. His + next letter to Goodman is illuminating--the urgency of his need for + funds opposed to that conscientiousness which was one of the most + positive forces of Mark Twain's body spiritual. The Mr. Arnot of + this letter was an Elmira capitalist. + + + To Jos. T. Goodman, in California: + + HARTFORD, March 31, '90. +DEAR JOE,--If you were here, I should say, "Get you to Washington and beg +Senator Jones to take the chances and put up about ten or "--no, I +wouldn't. The money would burn a hole in my pocket and get away from me +if the furnisher of it were proceeding upon merely your judgment and mine +and without other evidence. It is too much of a responsibility. + +But I am in as close a place to-day as ever I was; $3,000 due for the +last month's machine-expenses, and the purse empty. I notified Mr. Arnot +a month ago that I should want $5,000 to-day, and his check arrived last +night; but I sent it back to him, because when he bought of me on the 9th +of December I said that I would not draw upon him for 3 months, and that +before that date Senator Jones would have examined the machine and +approved, or done the other thing. If Jones should arrive here a week or +ten days from now (as he expects to do,) and should not approve, and +shouldn't buy any royalties, my deal with Arnot would not be +symmetrically square, and then how could I refund? The surest way was to +return his check. + +I have talked with the madam, and here is the result. I will go down to +the factory and notify Paige that I will scrape together $6,000 to meet +the March and April expenses, and will retire on the 30th of April and +return the assignment to him if in the meantime I have not found +financial relief. + +It is very rough; for the machine does at last seem perfect, and just a +bird to go! I think she's going to be good for 8,000 ems an hour in the +hands of a good ordinary man after a solid year's practice. I may be in +error, but I most solidly believe it. + +There's an improved Mergenthaler in New York; Paige and Davis and I +watched it two whole afternoons. + With the love of us all, + MARK. + + + Arnot wrote Clemens urging him to accept the check for five thousand + dollars in this moment of need. Clemens was probably as sorely + tempted to compromise with his conscience as he had ever been in his + life, but his resolution field firm. + + + To M. H. Arnot, in Elmira, N. Y.: + +MR. M. H. ARNOT + +DEAR SIR,--No--no, I could not think of taking it, with you unsatisfied; +and you ought not to be satisfied until you have made personal +examination of the machine and had a consensus of testimony of +disinterested people, besides. My own perfect knowledge of what is +required of such a machine, and my perfect knowledge of the fact that +this is the only machine that can meet that requirement, make it +difficult for me to realize that a doubt is possible to less well-posted +men; and so I would have taken your money without thinking, and thus +would have done a great wrong to you and a great one to myself. And now +that I go back over the ground, I remember that where I said I could get +along 3 months without drawing on you, that delay contemplated a visit +from you to the machine in the interval, and your satisfaction with its +character and prospects. I had forgotten all that. But I remember it +now; and the fact that it was not "so nominated in the bond" does not +alter the case or justify me in making my call so prematurely. I do not +know that you regarded all that as a part of the bargain--for you were +thoroughly and magnanimously unexacting--but I so regarded it, +notwithstanding I have so easily managed to forget all about it. + +You so gratified me, and did me so much honor in bonding yourself to me +in a large sum, upon no evidence but my word and with no protection but +my honor, that my pride in that is much stronger than my desire to reap a +money advantage from it. + +With the sincerest appreciation I am Truly yours + S L. CLEMENS. + +P. S. I have written a good many words and yet I seem to have failed to +say the main thing in exact enough language--which is, that the +transaction between us is not complete and binding until you shall have +convinced yourself that the machine's character and prospects are +satisfactory. + +I ought to explain that the grippe delayed us some weeks, and that we +have since been waiting for Mr. Jones. When he was ready, we were not; +and now we have been ready more than a month, while he has been kept in +Washington by the Silver bill. He said the other day that to venture out +of the Capitol for a day at this time could easily chance to hurt him if +the bill came up for action, meantime, although it couldn't hurt the +bill, which would pass anyway. Mrs. Jones said she would send me two or +three days' notice, right after the passage of the bill, and that they +would follow as soon as I should return word that their coming would not +inconvenience us. I suppose I ought to go to New York without waiting +for Mr. Jones, but it would not be wise to go there without money. + +The bill is still pending. + + + The Mergenthaler machine, like the Paige, was also at this time in + the middle stages of experimental development. It was a slower + machine, but it was simpler, less expensive, occupied less room. + There was not so much about it to get out of order; it was not so + delicate, not so human. These were immense advantages. + + But no one at this time could say with certainty which typesetter + would reap the harvest of millions. It was only sure that at least + one of them would, and the Mergenthaler people were willing to trade + stock for stock with the Paige company in order to insure financial + success for both, whichever won. Clemens, with a faith that never + faltered, declined this offer, a decision that was to cost him + millions. + + Winter and spring had gone and summer had come, but still there had + been no financial conclusion with Jones, Mackay, and the other rich + Californians who were to put up the necessary million for the + machine's manufacture. Goodman was spending a large part of his + time traveling back and forth between California and Washington, + trying to keep business going at both ends. Paige spent most of his + time working out improvements for the type-setter, delicate + attachments which complicated its construction more and more. + + + To Joe T. Goodman, in Washington: + + HARTFORD, June 22, '90. +DEAR JOE,--I have been sitting by the machine 2 hours, this afternoon, +and my admiration of it towers higher than ever. There is no sort of +mistake about it, it is the Big Bonanza. In the 2 hours, the time lost +by type-breakage was 3 minutes. + +This machine is totally without a rival. Rivalry with it is impossible. +Last Friday, Fred Whitmore (it was the 28th day of his apprenticeship on +the machine) stacked up 49,700 ems of solid nonpareil in 8 hours, and the +type-breaking delay was only 6 minutes for the day. + +I claim yet, as I have always claimed, that the machine's market (abroad +and here together,) is today worth $150,000,000 without saying anything +about the doubling and trebling of this sum that will follow within the +life of the patents. Now here is a queer fact: I am one of the +wealthiest grandees in America--one of the Vanderbilt gang, in fact--and +yet if you asked me to lend you a couple of dollars I should have to ask +you to take my note instead. + +It makes me cheerful to sit by the machine: come up with Mrs. Goodman and +refresh yourself with a draught of the same. + Ys ever + MARK. + + + The machine was still breaking the types now and then, and no doubt + Paige was itching to take it to pieces, and only restrained by force + from doing so. He was never thoroughly happy unless he was taking + the machine apart or setting it up again. Finally, he was allowed + to go at it--a disasterous permission, for it was just then that + Jones decided to steal a day or two from the Silver Bill and watch + the type-setter in operation. Paige already had it in parts when + this word came from Goodman, and Jones's visit had to be called off. + His enthusiasm would seem to have weakened from that day. In July, + Goodman wrote that both Mackay and Jones had become somewhat + diffident in the matter of huge capitalization. He thought it + partly due, at least, to "the fatal delays that have sicklied over + the bloom of original enthusiasm." Clemens himself went down to + Washington and perhaps warmed Jones with his eloquence; at least, + Jones seemed to have agreed to make some effort in the matter a + qualified promise, the careful word of a wary politician and + capitalist. How many Washington trips were made is not certain, but + certainly more than one. Jones would seem to have suggested forms + of contracts, but if he came to the point of signing any there is no + evidence of it to-day. + + Any one who has read Mark Twain's, "A Connecticut Yankee in King + Arthur's Court," has a pretty good idea of his opinion of kings in + general, and tyrants in particular. Rule by "divine right," however + liberal, was distasteful to him; where it meant oppression it + stirred him to violence. In his article, "The Czar's Soliloquy," he + gave himself loose rein concerning atrocities charged to the master + of Russia, and in a letter which he wrote during the summer of 1890, + he offered a hint as to remedies. The letter was written by + editorial request, but was never mailed. Perhaps it seemed too + openly revolutionary at the moment. + + Yet scarcely more than a quarter of a century was needed to make it + "timely." Clemens and his family were spending some weeks in the + Catskills when it was written. + + + An unpublished letter on the Czar. + + ONTEORA, 1890. +TO THE EDITOR OF FREE RUSSIA,--I thank you for the compliment of your +invitation to say something, but when I ponder the bottom paragraph on +your first page, and then study your statement on your third page, of the +objects of the several Russian liberation-parties, I do not quite know +how to proceed. Let me quote here the paragraph referred to: + +"But men's hearts are so made that the sight of one voluntary victim for +a noble idea stirs them more deeply than the sight of a crowd submitting +to a dire fate they cannot escape. Besides, foreigners could not see so +clearly as the Russians how much the Government was responsible for the +grinding poverty of the masses; nor could they very well realize the +moral wretchedness imposed by that Government upon the whole of educated +Russia. But the atrocities committed upon the defenceless prisoners are +there in all their baseness, concrete and palpable, admitting of no +excuse, no doubt or hesitation, crying out to the heart of humanity +against Russian tyranny. And the Tzar's Government, stupidly confident +in its apparently unassailable position, instead of taking warning from +the first rebukes, seems to mock this humanitarian age by the aggravation +of brutalities. Not satisfied with slowly killing its prisoners, and +with burying the flower of our young generation in the Siberian desserts, +the Government of Alexander III. resolved to break their spirit by +deliberately submitting them to a regime of unheard-of brutality and +degradation." + +When one reads that paragraph in the glare of George Kennan's +revelations, and considers how much it means; considers that all earthly +figures fail to typify the Czar's government, and that one must descend +into hell to find its counterpart, one turns hopefully to your statement +of the objects of the several liberation-parties--and is disappointed. +Apparently none of them can bear to think of losing the present hell +entirely, they merely want the temperature cooled down a little. + +I now perceive why all men are the deadly and uncompromising enemies of +the rattlesnake: it is merely because the rattlesnake has not speech. +Monarchy has speech, and by it has been able to persuade men that it +differs somehow from the rattlesnake, has something valuable about it +somewhere, something worth preserving, something even good and high and +fine, when properly "modified," something entitling it to protection from +the club of the first comer who catches it out of its hole. It seems a +most strange delusion and not reconcilable with our superstition that man +is a reasoning being. If a house is afire, we reason confidently that it +is the first comer's plain duty to put the fire out in any way he can-- +drown it with water, blow it up with dynamite, use any and all means to +stop the spread of the fire and save the rest of the city. What is the +Czar of Russia but a house afire in the midst of a city of eighty +millions of inhabitants? Yet instead of extinguishing him, together with +his nest and system, the liberation-parties are all anxious to merely +cool him down a little and keep him. + +It seems to me that this is illogical--idiotic, in fact. Suppose you had +this granite-hearted, bloody-jawed maniac of Russia loose in your house, +chasing the helpless women and little children--your own. What would you +do with him, supposing you had a shotgun? Well, he is loose in your +house-Russia. And with your shotgun in your hand, you stand trying to +think up ways to "modify" him. + +Do these liberation-parties think that they can succeed in a project +which has been attempted a million times in the history of the world and +has never in one single instance been successful--the "modification" of a +despotism by other means than bloodshed? They seem to think they can. +My privilege to write these sanguinary sentences in soft security was +bought for me by rivers of blood poured upon many fields, in many lands, +but I possess not one single little paltry right or privilege that come +to me as a result of petition, persuasion, agitation for reform, or any +kindred method of procedure. When we consider that not even the most +responsible English monarch ever yielded back a stolen public right until +it was wrenched from them by bloody violence, is it rational to suppose +that gentler methods can win privileges in Russia? + +Of course I know that the properest way to demolish the Russian throne +would be by revolution. But it is not possible to get up a revolution +there; so the only thing left to do, apparently, is to keep the throne +vacant by dynamite until a day when candidates shall decline with thanks. +Then organize the Republic. And on the whole this method has some large +advantages; for whereas a revolution destroys some lives which cannot +well be spared, the dynamite way doesn't. Consider this: the +conspirators against the Czar's life are caught in every rank of life, +from the low to the high. And consider: if so many take an active part, +where the peril is so dire, is this not evidence that the sympathizers +who keep still and do not show their hands, are countless for multitudes? +Can you break the hearts of thousands of families with the awful Siberian +exodus every year for generations and not eventually cover all Russia +from limit to limit with bereaved fathers and mothers and brothers and +sisters who secretly hate the perpetrator of this prodigious crime and +hunger and thirst for his life? Do you not believe that if your wife or +your child or your father was exiled to the mines of Siberia for some +trivial utterances wrung from a smarting spirit by the Czar's intolerable +tyranny, and you got a chance to kill him and did not do it, that you +would always be ashamed to be in your own society the rest of your life? +Suppose that that refined and lovely Russian lady who was lately stripped +bare before a brutal soldiery and whipped to death by the Czar's hand in +the person of the Czar's creature had been your wife, or your daughter or +your sister, and to-day the Czar should pass within reach of your hand, +how would you feel--and what would you do? Consider, that all over vast +Russia, from boundary to boundary, a myriad of eyes filled with tears +when that piteous news came, and through those tears that myriad of eyes +saw, not that poor lady, but lost darlings of their own whose fate her +fate brought back with new access of grief out of a black and bitter past +never to be forgotten or forgiven. + +If I am a Swinburnian--and clear to the marrow I am--I hold human nature +in sufficient honor to believe there are eighty million mute Russians +that are of the same stripe, and only one Russian family that isn't. + + MARK TWAIN. + + + Type-setter matters were going badly. Clemens still had faith in + Jones, and he had lost no grain of faith in the machine. The money + situation, however, was troublesome. With an expensive + establishment, and work of one sort or another still to be done on + the machine, his income would not reach. Perhaps Goodman had + already given up hope, for he does not seem to have returned from + California after the next letter was written--a colorless letter-- + in which we feel a note of resignation. The last few lines are + sufficient. + + + To Joe T. Goodman, in California: + +DEAR JOE,--...... I wish you could get a day off and make those two or +three Californians buy those privileges, for I'm going to need money +before long. + +I don't know where the Senator is; but out on the Coast I reckon. + +I guess we've got a perfect machine at last. We never break a type, now, +and the new device for enabling the operator to touch the last letters +and justify the line simultaneously works, to a charm. + With love to you both, + MARK + + + The year closed gloomily enough. The type-setter seemed to be + perfected, but capital for its manufacture was not forthcoming. + The publishing business of Charles L. Webster & Co. was returning + little or no profit. Clemens's mother had died in Keokuk at the end + of October, and his wife's mother, in Elmira a month later. Mark + Twain, writing a short business letter to his publishing manager, + Fred J. Ball, closed it: "Merry Xmas to you!--and I wish to God I + could have one myself before I die." + + + + +XXXI + +LETTERS, 189I, TO HOWELLS, MRS. CLEMENS AND OTHERS. +RETURN TO LITERATURE. AMERICAN CLAIMANT. LEAVING HARTFORD. +EUROPE. DOWN THE RHINE + +Clemens was still not without hope in the machine, at the beginning of +the new year (1891) but it was a hope no longer active, and it presently +became a moribund. Jones, on about the middle of February, backed out +altogether, laying the blame chiefly on Mackay and the others, who, he +said, had decided not to invest. Jones "let his victim down easy" with +friendly words, but it was the end, for the present, at least, of machine +financiering. + +It was also the end of Mark Twain's capital. His publishing business was +not good. It was already in debt and needing more money. There was just +one thing for him to do and he did it at once, not stopping to cry over +spilt milk, but with good courage and the old enthusiasm that never +failed him, he returned to the trade of authorship. He dug out half- +finished articles and stories, finished them and sold them, and within a +week after the Jones collapse he was at work on a novel based an the old +Sellers idea, which eight years before he and Howells had worked into a +play. The brief letter in which he reported this news to Howells bears +no marks of depression, though the writer of it was in his fifty-sixth +year; he was by no means well, and his financial prospects were anything +but golden. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 24, '91 +DEAR HOWELLS,--Mrs. Clemens has been sick abed for near two weeks, but is +up and around the room now, and gaining. I don't know whether she has +written Mrs. Howells or not--I only know she was going to--and will yet, +if she hasn't. We are promising ourselves a whole world of pleasure in +the visit, and you mustn't dream of disappointing us. + +Does this item stir an interest in you? Began a novel four days ago, and +this moment finished chapter four. Title of the book + + "Colonel Mulberry Sellers. + American Claimant + Of the + Great Earldom of Rossmore' + in the + Peerage of Great Britain." + + Ys Ever + MARK. + + +Probably Mark Twain did not return to literary work reluctantly. He had +always enjoyed writing and felt now that he was equipped better than ever +for authorship, at least so far as material was concerned. There exists +a fragmentary copy of a letter to some unknown correspondent, in which he +recites his qualifications. It bears evidence of having been written +just at this time and is of unusual interest at this point. + + + Fragment of Letter to ------- 1891: + +. . . . I confine myself to life with which I am familiar when +pretending to portray life. But I confined myself to the boy-life out on +the Mississippi because that had a peculiar charm for me, and not because +I was not familiar with other phases of life. I was a soldier two weeks +once in the beginning of the war, and was hunted like a rat the whole +time. Familiar? My splendid Kipling himself hasn't a more burnt-in, +hard-baked, and unforgetable familiarity with that death-on-the-pale- +horse-with-hell-following-after, which is a raw soldier's first fortnight +in the field--and which, without any doubt, is the most tremendous +fortnight and the vividest he is ever going to see. + +Yes, and I have shoveled silver tailings in a quartz-mill a couple of +weeks, and acquired the last possibilities of culture in that direction. +And I've done "pocket-mining" during three months in the one little patch +of ground in the whole globe where Nature conceals gold in pockets--or +did before we robbed all of those pockets and exhausted, obliterated, +annihilated the most curious freak Nature ever indulged in. There are +not thirty men left alive who, being told there was a pocket hidden on +the broad slope of a mountain, would know how to go and find it, or have +even the faintest idea of how to set about it; but I am one of the +possible 20 or 30 who possess the secret, and I could go and put my hand +on that hidden treasure with a most deadly precision. + +And I've been a prospector, and know pay rock from poor when I find it-- +just with a touch of the tongue. And I've been a silver miner and know +how to dig and shovel and drill and put in a blast. And so I know the +mines and the miners interiorly as well as Bret Harte knows them +exteriorly. + +And I was a newspaper reporter four years in cities, and so saw the +inside of many things; and was reporter in a legislature two sessions +and the same in Congress one session, and thus learned to know personally +three sample bodies of the smallest minds and the selfishest souls and +the cowardliest hearts that God makes. + +And I was some years a Mississippi pilot, and familiarly knew all the +different kinds of steam-boatmen--a race apart, and not like other folk. + +And I was for some years a traveling "jour" printer, and wandered from +city to city--and so I know that sect familiarly. + +And I was a lecturer on the public platform a number of seasons and was a +responder to toasts at all the different kinds of banquets--and so I know +a great many secrets about audiences--secrets not to be got out of books, +but only acquirable by experience. + +And I watched over one dear project of mine for years, spent a fortune on +it, and failed to make it go--and the history of that would make a large +book in which a million men would see themselves as in a mirror; and they +would testify and say, Verily, this is not imagination; this fellow has +been there--and after would cast dust upon their heads, cursing and +blaspheming. + +And I am a publisher, and did pay to one author's widow (General Grant's) +the largest copyright checks this world has seen--aggregating more than +L80,000 in the first year. + +And I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55. + +Now then; as the most valuable capital or culture or education usable in +the building of novels is personal experience I ought to be well equipped +for that trade. + +I surely have the equipment, a wide culture, and all of it real, none of +it artificial, for I don't know anything about books. + + [No signature.] + + + Clemens for several years had been bothered by rheumatism in his + shoulder. The return now to the steady use of the pen aggravated + his trouble, and at times he was nearly disabled. The phonograph + for commercial dictation had been tried experimentally, and Mark + Twain was always ready for any innovation. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 28, '91. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Won't you drop-in at the Boylston Building (New England +Phonograph Co) and talk into a phonograph in an ordinary conversation- +voice and see if another person (who didn't hear you do it) can take the +words from the thing without difficulty and repeat them to you. If the +experiment is satisfactory (also make somebody put in a message which you +don't hear, and see if afterward you can get it out without difficulty) +won't you then ask them on what terms they will rent me a phonograph for +3 months and furnish me cylinders enough to carry 75,000 words. 175 +cylinders, ain't it? + +I don't want to erase any of them. My right arm is nearly disabled by +rheumatism, but I am bound to write this book (and sell 100,000 copies of +it--no, I mean a million--next fall) I feel sure I can dictate the book +into a phonograph if I don't have to yell. I write 2,000 words a day; I +think I can dictate twice as many. + +But mind, if this is going to be too much trouble to you--go ahead and do +it, all the same. + Ys ever + MARK. + + + Howells, always willing to help, visited the phonograph place, and a + few days later reported results. He wrote: "I talked your letter + into a fonograf in my usual tone at my usual gait of speech. Then + the fonograf man talked his answer in at his wonted swing and swell. + Then we took the cylinder to a type-writer in the next room, and she + put the hooks into her ears and wrote the whole out. I send you the + result. There is a mistake of one word. I think that if you have + the cheek to dictate the story into the fonograf, all the rest is + perfectly easy. It wouldn't fatigue me to talk for an hour as I + did." + + Clemens did not find the phonograph entirely satisfactory, at least + not for a time, and he appears never to have used it steadily. His + early experience with it, however, seems interesting. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 4, '91. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I'm ashamed. It happened in this way. I was proposing to +acknowledge the receipt of the play and the little book per phonograph, +so that you could see that the instrument is good enough for mere letter- +writing; then I meant to add the fact that you can't write literature +with it, because it hasn't any ideas and it hasn't any gift for +elaboration, or smartness of talk, or vigor of action, or felicity of +expression, but is just matter-of-fact, compressive, unornamental, and as +grave and unsmiling as the devil. + +I filled four dozen cylinders in two sittings, then found I could have +said about as much with the pen and said it a deal better. Then I +resigned. + +I believe it could teach one to dictate literature to a phonographer--and +some time I will experiment in that line. + +The little book is charmingly written, and it interested me. But it +flies too high for me. Its concretest things are filmy abstractions to +me, and when I lay my grip on one of them and open my hand, I feel as +embarrassed as I use to feel when I thought I had caught a fly. I'm +going to try to mail it back to you to-day--I mean I am going to charge +my memory. Charging my memory is one of my chief industries .... + +With our loves and our kindest regards distributed among you according to +the proprieties. + Yrs ever + MARK. + +P. S.--I'm sending that ancient "Mental Telegraphy" article to Harper's +--with a modest postscript. Probably read it to you years ago. + S. L. C. + + + The "little book" mentioned in this letter was by Swedenborg, an + author in whom the Boston literary set was always deeply interested. + "Mental Telegraphy" appeared in Harper's Magazine, and is now + included in the Uniform Edition of Mark Twain's books. It was + written in 1878. + + Joe Goodman had long since returned to California, it being clear + that nothing could be gained by remaining in Washington. On receipt + of the news of the type-setter's collapse he sent a consoling word. + Perhaps he thought Clemens would rage over the unhappy circumstance, + and possibly hold him in some measure to blame. But it was + generally the smaller annoyances of life that made Mark Twain rage; + the larger catastrophes were likely to stir only his philosophy. + + The Library of American Literature, mentioned in the following + letter, was a work in many volumes, edited by Edmund Clarence + Stedman and Ellen Mackay Hutchinson. + + + To Joe T. Goodman: + + April [?] 1891. +DEAR JOE, Well, it's all right, anyway. Diplomacy couldn't have saved +it--diplomacy of mine--at that late day. I hadn't any diplomacy in +stock, anyway. In order to meet Jones's requirements I had to surrender +the old contract (a contract which made me boss of the situation and gave +me the whip-hand of Paige) and allow the new one to be drafted and put in +its place. I was running an immense risk, but it was justified by +Jones's promises--promises made to me not merely once but every time I +tallied with him. When February arrived, I saw signs which were mighty +plain reading. Signs which meant that Paige was hoping and praying that +Jones would go back on me--which would leave Paige boss, and me robbed +and out in the cold. His prayers were answered, and I am out in the +cold. If I ever get back my nine-twentieths interest, it will be by law- +suit--which will be instituted in the indefinite future, when the time +comes. + +I am at work again--on a book. Not with a great deal of spirit, but with +enough--yes, plenty. And I am pushing my publishing house. It has +turned the corner after cleaning $50,000 a year for three consecutive +years, and piling every cent of it into one book--Library of American +Literature--and from next January onward it will resume dividends. But +I've got to earn $50,000 for it between now and then--which I will do if +I keep my health. This additional capital is needed for that same book, +because its prosperity is growing so great and exacting. + +It is dreadful to think of you in ill health--I can't realize it; you are +always to me the same that you were in those days when matchless health. +and glowing spirits and delight in life were commonplaces with us. Lord +save us all from old age and broken health and a hope-tree that has lost +the faculty of putting out blossoms. + + With love to you both from us all. + MARK. + + + Mark Twain's residence in Hartford was drawing rapidly to a close. + Mrs. Clemens was poorly, and his own health was uncertain. They + believed that some of the European baths would help them. + Furthermore, Mark Twain could no longer afford the luxury of his + Hartford home. In Europe life could be simpler and vastly cheaper. + He was offered a thousand dollars apiece for six European letters, + by the McClure syndicate and W. M. Laffan, of the Sun. This would + at least give him a start on the other side. The family began + immediately their sad arrangements for departure. + + + To Fred J. Hall (manager Chas. L. Webster & Co.), N. Y.: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 14, '91. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Privately--keep it to yourself--as you, are already +aware, we are going to Europe in June, for an indefinite stay. We shall +sell the horses and shut up the house. We wish to provide a place for +our coachman, who has been with us a 21 years, and is sober, active, +diligent, and unusually bright and capable. You spoke of hiring a +colored man as engineer and helper in the packing room. Patrick would +soon learn that trade and be very valuable. We will cease to need him by +the middle or end of June. Have you made irrevocable arrangements with +the colored man, or would you prefer to have Patrick, if he thinks he +would like to try? + +I have not said anything to him about it yet. + + Yours + S. L. C. + + + It was to be a complete breaking up of their beautiful + establishment. Patrick McAleer, George the butler, and others of + their household help had been like members of the family. We may + guess at the heartbreak of it all, even though the letters remain + cheerful. + + Howells, strangely enough, seems to have been about the last one to + be told of their European plans; in fact, he first got wind of it + from the papers, and wrote for information. Likely enough Clemens + had not until then had the courage to confess. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, May 20, '91. +DEAR HOWELLS,--For her health's sake Mrs. Clemens must try baths +somewhere, and this it is that has determined us to go to Europe. +The water required seems to be provided at a little obscure and little- +visited nook up in the hills back of the Rhine somewhere and you get to +it by Rhine traffic-boat and country stage-coach. Come, get "sick or +sorry enough" and join us. We shall be a little while at that bath, and +the rest of the summer at Annecy (this confidential to you) in Haute +Savoie, 22 miles from Geneva. Spend the winters in Berlin. I don't know +how long we shall be in Europe--I have a vote, but I don't cast it. I'm +going to do whatever the others desire, with leave to change their mind, +without prejudice, whenever they want to. Travel has no longer, any +charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to see except +heaven and hell, and I have only a vague curiosity as concerns one of +those. + +I found I couldn't use the play--I had departed too far from its lines +when I came to look at it. I thought I might get a great deal of +dialogue out of it, but I got only 15 loosely written pages--they saved +me half a days work. It was the cursing phonograph. There was abundance +of good dialogue, but it couldn't befitted into the new conditions of the +story. + +Oh, look here--I did to-day what I have several times in past years +thought of doing: answered an interviewing proposition from a rich +newspaper with the reminder that they had not stated the terms; that my +time was all occupied with writing, at good pay, and that as talking was +harder work I should not care to venture it unless I knew the pay was +going to be proportionately higher. I wish I had thought of this the +other day when Charley Stoddard turned a pleasant Englishman loose on me +and I couldn't think of any rational excuse. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Clemens had finished his Sellers book and had disposed of the serial + rights to the McClure syndicate. The house in Hartford was closed + early in June, and on the 6th the family, with one maid, Katie + Leary, sailed on the Gascogne. Two weeks later they had begun a + residence abroad which was to last for more than nine years. + + It was not easy to get to work in Europe. Clemens's arm remained + lame, and any effort at writing brought suffering. The Century + Magazine proposed another set of letters, but by the end of July he + had barely begun on those promised to McClure and Laffan. In + August, however, he was able to send three: one from Aix about the + baths there, another from Bayreuth concerning the Wagner festival, + and a third from Marienbad, in Bohemia, where they rested for a + time. He decided that he would arrange for no more European letters + when the six were finished, but would gather material for a book. + He would take a courier and a kodak and go tramping again in some + fashion that would be interesting to do and to write. + + The idea finally matured when he reached Switzerland and settled the + family at the Hotel Beau Rivage, Ouchy, Lausanne, facing Lake Leman. + He decided to make a floating trip down the Rhone, and he engaged + Joseph Very, a courier that had served him on a former European + trip, to accompany him. The courier went over to Bourget and bought + for five dollars a flat-bottomed boat and engaged its owner as their + pilot. It was the morning of September 20, when they began their + floating-trip down the beautiful historic river that flows through + the loveliest and most romantic region of France. He wrote daily to + Mrs. Clemens, and his letters tell the story of that drowsy, happy + experience better than the notes made with a view to publication. + Clemens had arrived at Lake Bourget on the evening before the + morning of their start and slept on the Island of Chatillon, in an + old castle of the same name. Lake Bourget connects with the Rhone + by a small canal. + + + Letters and Memoranda to Mrs. Clemens, in Ouchy, Switzerland: + + Sept. 20, 1891. + Sunday, 11 a.m. +On the lake Bourget--just started. The castle of Chatillon high overhead +showing above the trees. It was a wonderfully still place to sleep in. +Beside us there was nobody in it but a woman, a boy and a dog. A Pope +was born in the room I slept in. No, he became a Pope later. + +The lake is smooth as glass--a brilliant sun is shining. + +Our boat is comfortable and shady with its awning. + +11.20 We have crossed the lake and are entering the canal. Shall +presently be in the Rhone. + +Noon. Nearly down to the Rhone. Passing the village of Chanaz. + +3.15 p. m. Sunday. We have been in the Rhone 3 hours. It is +unimaginably still and reposeful and cool and soft and breezy. No rowing +or work of any kind to do--we merely float with the current--we glide +noiseless and swift--as fast as a London cab-horse rips along--8 miles an +hour--the swiftest current I've ever boated in. We have the entire river +to ourselves--nowhere a boat of any kind. + Good bye Sweetheart + S. L. C. + + + PORT DE GROLEE, Monday, 4.15 p.m. + [Sept. 21, 1891] +Name of the village which we left five minutes ago. + +We went ashore at 5 p. m. yesterday, dear heart, and walked a short mile +to St. Geuix, a big village, and took quarters at the principal inn; had +a good dinner and afterwards along walk out of town on the banks of the +Guiers till 7.30. + +Went to bed at 8.30 and continued to make notes and read books and +newspapers till midnight. Slept until 8, breakfasted in bed, and lay +till noon, because there had been a very heavy rain in the night and the +day was still dark and lowering. But at noon the sun broke through and +in 15 minutes we were tramping toward the river. Got afloat at 1 p. m. +but at 2.40 we had to rush suddenly ashore and take refuge in the above +village. Just as we got ourselves and traps safely housed in the inn, +the rain let go and came down in great style. We lost an hour and a half +there, but we are off again, now, with bright sunshine. + +I wrote you yesterday my darling, and shall expect to write you every +day. + +Good-day, and love to all of you. + SAML. + + + ON THE RHONE BELOW VILLEBOIS, + Tuesday noon. +Good morning, sweetheart. Night caught us yesterday where we had to take +quarters in a peasant's house which was occupied by the family and a lot +of cows and calves--also several rabbits.--[His word for fleas.]-- The +latter had a ball, and I was the ball-room; but they were very friendly +and didn't bite. + +The peasants were mighty kind and hearty, and flew around and did their +best to make us comfortable. This morning I breakfasted on the shore in +the open air with two sociable dogs and a cat. Clean cloth, napkin and +table furniture, white sugar, a vast hunk of excellent butter, good +bread, first class coffee with pure milk, fried fish just caught. +Wonderful that so much cleanliness should come out of such a phenomenally +dirty house. + +An hour ago we saw the Falls of the Rhone, a prodigiously rough and +dangerous looking place; shipped a little water but came to no harm. +It was one of the most beautiful pieces of piloting and boat-management +I ever saw. Our admiral knew his business. + +We have had to run ashore for shelter every time it has rained +heretofore, but Joseph has been putting in his odd time making a water- +proof sun-bonnet for the boat, and now we sail along dry although we had +many heavy showers this morning. + +With a word of love to you all and particularly you, + SAML. + + + ON THE RHONE, BELOW VIENNA. +I salute you, my darling. Your telegram reached me in Lyons last night +and was very pleasant news indeed. + +I was up and shaved before 8 this morning, but we got delayed and didn't +sail from Lyons till 10.3O--an hour and a half lost. And we've lost +another hour--two of them, I guess--since, by an error. We came in sight +of Vienne at 2 o'clock, several miles ahead, on a hill, and I proposed to +walk down there and let the boat go ahead of us. So Joseph and I got out +and struck through a willow swamp along a dim path, and by and by came +out on the steep bank of a slough or inlet or something, and we followed +that bank forever and ever trying to get around the head of that slough. +Finally I noticed a twig standing up in the water, and by George it had a +distinct and even vigorous quiver to it! I don't know when I have felt +so much like a donkey. On an island! I wanted to drown somebody, but I +hadn't anybody I could spare. However, after another long tramp we found +a lonely native, and he had a scow and soon we were on the mainland--yes, +and a blamed sight further from Vienne than we were when we started. + +Notes--I make millions of them; and so I get no time to write to you. If +you've got a pad there, please send it poste-restante to Avignon. I may +not need it but I fear I shall. + +I'm straining to reach St. Pierre de Boef, but it's going to be a close +fit, I reckon. + + + AFLOAT, Friday, 3 p.m., '91. +Livy darling, we sailed from St. Pierre de Boef six hours ago, and are +now approaching Tournon, where we shall not stop, but go on and make +Valence, a City Of 25,000 people. It's too delicious, floating with the +swift current under the awning these superb sunshiny days in deep peace +and quietness. Some of these curious old historical towns strangely +persuade me, but it is so lovely afloat that I don't stop, but view them +from the outside and sail on. We get abundance of grapes and peaches for +next to nothing. + +Joseph is perfect. He is at his very best--and never was better in his +life. I guess he gets discouraged and feels disliked and in the way when +he is lying around--but here he is perfection, and brim full of useful +alacrities and helps and ingenuities. + +When I woke up an hour ago and heard the clock strike 4, I said "I seem +to have been asleep an immensely long time; I must have gone to bed +mighty early; I wonder what time I did go to bed." And I got up and lit +a candle and looked at my watch to see. + + + AFLOAT + 2 HOURS BELOW BOURG ST. ANDEOL. + Monday, 11 a.m., Sept. 28. +Livy darling, I didn't write yesterday. We left La Voulte in a driving +storm of cold rain--couldn't write in it--and at 1 p. m. when we were +not thinking of stopping, we saw a picturesque and mighty ruin on a high +hill back of a village, and I was seized with a desire to explore it; so +we landed at once and set out with rubbers and umbrella, sending the boat +ahead to St. Andeol, and we spent 3 hours clambering about those cloudy +heights among those worn and vast and idiotic ruins of a castle built by +two crusaders 650 years ago. The work of these asses was full of +interest, and we had a good time inspecting, examining and scrutinizing +it. All the hills on both sides of the Rhone have peaks and precipices, +and each has its gray and wasted pile of mouldy walls and broken towers. +The Romans displaced the Gauls, the Visigoths displaced the Romans, the +Saracens displaced the Visigoths, the Christians displaced the Saracens, +and it was these pious animals who built these strange lairs and cut each +other's throats in the name and for the glory of God, and robbed and +burned and slew in peace and war; and the pauper and the slave built +churches, and the credit of it went to the Bishop who racked the money +out of them. These are pathetic shores, and they make one despise the +human race. + +We came down in an hour by rail, but I couldn't get your telegram till +this morning, for it was Sunday and they had shut up the post office to +go to the circus. I went, too. It was all one family--parents and 5 +children--performing in the open air to 200 of these enchanted villagers, +who contributed coppers when called on. It was a most gay and strange +and pathetic show. I got up at 7 this morning to see the poor devils +cook their poor breakfast and pack up their sordid fineries. + +This is a 9 k-m. current and the wind is with us; we shall make Avignon +before 4 o'clock. I saw watermelons and pomegranates for sale at St. +Andeol. + + With a power of love, Sweetheart, + SAML. + + + HOTEL D'EUROPE, AVIGNON, + Monday, 6 p.m., Sept. 28. +Well, Livy darling, I have been having a perfect feast of letters for an +hour, and I thank you and dear Clam with all my heart. It's like hearing +from home after a long absence. + +It is early to be in bed, but I'm always abed before 9, on this voyage; +and up at 7 or a trifle later, every morning. If I ever take such a trip +again, I will have myself called at the first tinge of dawn and get to +sea as soon after as possible. The early dawn on the water-nothing can +be finer, as I know by old Mississippi experience. I did so long for you +and Sue yesterday morning--the most superb sunrise!--the most marvelous +sunrise! and I saw it all from the very faintest suspicion of the coming +dawn all the way through to the final explosion of glory. But it had +interest private to itself and not to be found elsewhere in the world; +for between me and it, in the far distant-eastward, was a silhouette +mountain-range in which I had discovered, the previous afternoon, a most +noble face upturned to the sky, and mighty form out stretched, which I +had named Napoleon Dreaming of Universal Empire--and now, this prodigious +face, soft, rich, blue, spirituelle, asleep, tranquil, reposeful, lay +against that giant conflagration of ruddy and golden splendors all rayed +like a wheel with the upstreaming and far-reaching lances of the sun. It +made one want to cry for delight, it was so supreme in its unimaginable +majesty and beauty. + +We had a curious experience today. A little after I had sealed and +directed my letter to you, in which I said we should make Avignon before +4, we got lost. We ceased to encounter any village or ruin mentioned in +our "particularizes" and detailed Guide of the Rhone--went drifting along +by the hour in a wholly unknown land and on an uncharted river! Confound +it, we stopped talking and did nothing but stand up in the boat and +search the horizons with the glass and wonder what in the devil had +happened. And at last, away yonder at 5 o'clock when some east towers +and fortresses hove in sight we couldn't recognize them for Avignon--yet +we knew by the broken bridge that it was Avignon. + +Then we saw what the trouble was--at some time or other we had drifted +down the wrong side of an island and followed a sluggish branch of the +Rhone not frequented in modern times. We lost an hour and a half by it +and missed one of the most picturesque and gigantic and history-sodden +masses of castellated medieval ruin that Europe can show. + +It was dark by the time we had wandered through the town and got the +letters and found the hotel--so I went to bed. + +We shall leave here at noon tomorrow and float down to Arles, arriving +about dark, and there bid good bye to the boat, the river-trip finished. +Between Arles and Nimes (and Avignon again,) we shall be till Saturday +morning--then rail it through on that day to Ouchy, reaching the hotel at +11 at night if the train isn't late. + +Next day (Sunday) if you like, go to Basel, and Monday to Berlin. But I +shall be at your disposal, to do exactly as you desire and prefer. + + With no end of love to all of you and twice as much to you, + sweetheart, + SAML. + +I believe my arm is a trifle better than it was when I started. + + + The mention in the foregoing letter of the Napoleon effigy is the + beginning of what proved to be a rather interesting episode. Mark + Twain thought a great deal of his discovery, as he called it--the + giant figure of Napoleon outlined by the distant mountain range. + In his note-book he entered memoranda telling just where it was to + be seen, and added a pencil sketch of the huge profile. But then he + characteristically forgot all about it, and when he recalled the + incident ten years later, he could not remember the name of the + village, Beauchastel, from which the great figure could be seen; + also, that he had made a record of the place. + + But he was by this time more certain than ever that his discovery + was a remarkable one, which, if known, would become one of the great + natural wonders, such as Niagara Falls. Theodore Stanton was + visiting him at the time, and Clemens urged him, on his return to + France, to make an excursion to the Rhone and locate the Lost + Napoleon, as he now called it. But Clemens remembered the wonder as + being somewhere between Arles and Avignon, instead of about a + hundred miles above the last-named town. Stanton naturally failed + to find it, and it remained for the writer of these notes, motoring + up the Rhone one September day, exactly twenty-two years after the + first discovery, to re-locate the vast reclining figure of the first + consul of France, "dreaming of Universal Empire." The re-discovery + was not difficult--with Mark Twain's memoranda as a guide--and it + was worth while. Perhaps the Lost Napoleon is not so important a + natural wonder as Mark Twain believed, but it is a striking picture, + and on a clear day the calm blue face outlined against the sky will + long hold the traveler's attention. + + To Clara Clemens, in Ouchy, Switzerland: + + AFLOAT, 11.20 a.m., Sept. 29, Tuesday. +DEAR OLD BEN,--The vast stone masses and huge towers of the ancient papal +palace of Avignon are projected above an intervening wooded island a mile +up the river behind me--for we are already on our way to Arles. It is a +perfectly still morning, with a brilliant sun, and very hot--outside; but +I am under cover of the linen hood, and it is cool and shady in here. + +Please tell mamma I got her very last letter this morning, and I perceive +by it that I do not need to arrive at Ouchy before Saturday midnight. +I am glad, because I couldn't do the railroading I am proposing to do +during the next two or three days and get there earlier. I could put in +the time till Sunday midnight, but shall not venture it without +telegraphic instructions from her to Nimes day after tomorrow, Oct. 1, +care Hotel Manivet. + +The only adventures we have is in drifting into rough seas now and then. +They are not dangerous, but they go thro' all the motions of it. +Yesterday when we shot the Bridge of the Holy Spirit it was probably in +charge of some inexperienced deputy spirit for the day, for we were +allowed to go through the wrong arch, which brought us into a tourbillon +below which tried to make this old scow stand on its head. Of course I +lost my temper and blew it off in a way to be heard above the roar of the +tossing waters. I lost it because the admiral had taken that arch in +deference to my opinion that it was the best one, while his own judgment +told him to take the one nearest the other side of the river. I could +have poisoned him I was so mad to think I had hired such a turnip. +A boatman in command should obey nobody's orders but his own, and yield +to nobody's suggestions. + +It was very sweet of you to write me, dear, and I thank you ever so much. +With greatest love and kisses, + PAPA. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Ouchy, Switzerland: + + ARLES, Sept. 30, noon. +Livy darling, I hain't got no time to write today, because I am sight +seeing industriously and imagining my chapter. + +Bade good-bye to the river trip and gave away the boat yesterday evening. +We had ten great days in her. + +We reached here after dark. We were due about 4.30, counting by +distance, but we couldn't calculate on such a lifeless current as we +found. + I love you, sweetheart. + SAML. + + + It had been a long time since Clemens had written to his old friend + Twichell, but the Rhone trip must have reminded him of those days + thirteen years earlier, when, comparatively young men, he and + Twichell were tramping through the Black Forest and scaling Gemmi + Pass. He sent Twichell a reminder of that happy time. + + + To Rev. Joseph H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn: + + NIMES, Oct. 1, '91. +DEAR JOE,--I have been ten days floating down the Rhone on a raft, from +Lake Bourget, and a most curious and darling kind of a trip it has been. +You ought to have been along--I could have made room for you easily --and +you would have found that a pedestrian tour in Europe doesn't begin with +a raft-voyage for hilarity and mild adventure, and intimate contact with +the unvisited native of the back settlements, and extinction from the +world and newspapers, and a conscience in a state of coma, and lazy +comfort, and solid happiness. In fact there's nothing that's so lovely. + +But it's all over. I gave the raft away yesterday at Arles, and am +loafing along back by short stages on the rail to Ouchy-Lausanne where +the tribe are staying. + Love to you all + MARK. + + + The Clemenses settled in Berlin for the winter, at 7 Kornerstrasse, + and later at the Hotel Royal. There had been no permanent + improvement in Mark Twain's arm and he found writing difficult. + Some of the letters promised to Laffan and McClure were still + unfinished. + + Young Hall, his publishing manager in America, was working hard to + keep the business afloat, and being full of the optimism of his + years did not fail to make as good a showing as he could. We may + believe his letters were very welcome to Clemens and his wife, who + found little enough in the general prospect to comfort them. + + + To Mr. Hall, in New York: + + BERLIN, Nov. 27, '91. +DEAR MR. HALL,--That kind of a statement is valuable. It came this +morning. This is the first time since the business began that I have had +a report that furnished the kind of information I wanted, and was really +enlightening and satisfactory. Keep it up. Don't let it fall into +desuetude. + +Everything looks so fine and handsome with the business, now, that I feel +a great let-up from depression. The rewards of your long and patient +industry are on their way, and their arrival safe in port, presently, +seems assured. + +By George, I shall be glad when the ship comes in! + +My arm is so much better that I was able to make a speech last night to +250 Americans. But when they threw my portrait on the screen it was a +sorrowful reminder, for it was from a negative of 15 years ago, and +hadn't a gray hair in it. And now that my arm is better, I have stolen a +couple of days and finished up a couple of McClure letters that have been +lying a long time. + +I shall mail one of them to you next Tuesday--registered. Lookout for +it. + +I shall register and mail the other one (concerning the "Jungfrau") next +Friday look out for it also, and drop me a line to let me know they have +arrived. + +I shall write the 6th and last letter by and by when I have studied +Berlin sufficiently. + +Yours in a most cheerful frame of mind, and with my and all the family's +Thanksgiving greetings and best wishes, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Postscript by Mrs. Clemens written on Mr. Clemens's letter: + +DEAR MR. HALL,--This is my birthday and your letter this morning was a +happy addition to the little gifts on the breakfast table. I thought of +going out and spending money for something unnecessary after it came, but +concluded perhaps I better wait a little longer. + Sincerely yours + O. L. CLEMENS. + + + "The German Chicago" was the last of the six McClure letters and was + finished that winter in Berlin. It is now included in the Uniform + Edition of Mark Twain's works, and is one of the best descriptive + articles of the German capital ever written. He made no use of the + Rhone notes further than to put them together in literary form. + They did not seem to him to contain enough substance to warrant + publication. A letter to Hall, written toward the end of December, + we find rather gloomy in tone, though he is still able to extract + comfort and even cheerfulness from one of Mr. Hall's reports. + + + Memorandum to Fred J. Hall, in New York: + +Among the MSS I left with you are a few that have a recent look and are +written on rather stiff pale green paper. If you will have those type- +writered and keep the originals and send me the copies (one per mail, not +two.) I'll see if I can use them. + +But tell Howells and other inquirers that my hopes of writing anything +are very slender--I seem to be disabled for life. + +Drop McClure a line and tell him the same. I can't dare to make an +engagement now for even a single letter. + +I am glad Howells is on a magazine, but sorry he gave up the Study. +I shall have to go on a magazine myself if this L. A. L. continues to +hold my nose down to the grind-stone much longer. + +I'm going to hold my breath, now, for 3o days--then the annual statement +will arrive and I shall know how we feel! Merry Xmas to you from us all. + + Sincerely, + S. L. C. + +P. S. Just finished the above and finished raging at the eternal German +tax-gatherer, and so all the jubilant things which I was going to say +about the past year's business got knocked out of me. After writing this +present letter I was feeling blue about Huck Finn, but I sat down and +overhauled your reports from now back to last April and compared them +with the splendid Oct.-Nov. business, and went to bed feeling refreshed +and fine, for certainly it has been a handsome year. Now rush me along +the Annual Report and let's see how we feel! + S. L. C. + + + + +XXXII + +LETTERS, 1892, CHIEFLY TO MR. HALL AND MRS. CRANE. IN BERLIN, MENTONE, +BAD-NAUHEIM, FLORENCE + +Mark Twain was the notable literary figure in Berlin that winter, the +center of every great gathering. He was entertained by the Kaiser, and +shown many special attentions by Germans of every rank. His books were +as well known in Berlin as in New York, and at court assemblies and +embassies he was always a chief center of interest. + +He was too popular for his own good; the gaiety of the capital told on +him. Finally, one night, after delivering a lecture in a hot room, he +contracted a severe cold, driving to a ball at General von Versen's, and +a few days later was confined to his bed with pneumonia. It was not a +severe attack, but it was long continued. He could write some letters +and even work a little, but he was not allowed to leave his bed for many +weeks, a condition which he did not find a hardship, for no man ever +enjoyed the loose luxury of undress and the comfort of pillows more than +Mark Twain. In a memorandum of that time he wrote: "I am having a +booming time all to myself." + +Meantime, Hall, in America, was sending favorable reports of the +publishing business, and this naturally helped to keep up his spirits. +He wrote frequently to Hall, of course, but the letters for the most part +are purely of a business nature and of little interest to the general +reader. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + HOTEL ROYAL, BERLIN, Feb. 12. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Daly wants to get the stage rights of the "American +Claimant." The foundation from which I wrote the story is a play of the +same name which has been in A. P. Burbank's hands 5 or 6 years. That +play cost me some money (helping Burbank stage it) but has never brought +me any. I have written Burbank (Lotos Club) and asked him to give me +back his rights in the old play so that I can treat with Daly and utilize +this chance to even myself up. Burbank is a lovely fellow, and if he +objects I can't urge him. But you run in at the Lotos and see him; and +if he relinquishes his claim, then I would like you to conduct the +business with Daly; or have Whitford or some other lawyer do it under +your supervision if you prefer. + +This morning I seem to have rheumatism in my right foot. + +I am ordered south by the doctor and shall expect to be well enough to +start by the end of this month. + + [No signature.] + + + + It is curious, after Clemens and Howells had tried so hard and so + long to place their "Sellers" Play, that now, when the story + appeared in book form, Augustin Daly should have thought it worth + dramatizing. Daly and Clemens were old friends, and it would seem + that Daly could hardly have escaped seeing the play when it was + going the rounds. But perhaps there is nothing more mysterious in + the world than the ways and wants of theatrical managers. The + matter came to nothing, of course, but the fact that Daly should + have thought a story built from an old discarded play had a play in + it seems interesting. + + Clemens and his wife were advised to leave the cold of Berlin as + soon as he was able to travel. This was not until the first of + March, when, taking their old courier, Joseph Very, they left the + children in good hands and journeyed to the south of France. + + + To Susy Clemens, in Berlin: + + MENTONE, Mch 22, '92. +SUSY DEAR,--I have been delighted to note your easy facility with your +pen and proud to note also your literary superiorities of one kind and +another--clearness of statement, directness, felicity of expression, +photographic ability in setting forth an incident--style--good style--no +barnacles on it in the way of unnecessary, retarding words (the Shipman +scrapes off the barnacles when he wants his racer to go her best gait and +straight to the buoy.) You should write a letter every day, long or short +--and so ought I, but I don't. + +Mamma says, tell Clara yes, she will have to write a note if the fan +comes back mended. + +We couldn't go to Nice to-day--had to give it up, on various accounts-- +and this was the last chance. I am sorry for Mamma--I wish she could +have gone. She got a heavy fall yesterday evening and was pretty stiff +and lame this morning, but is working it off trunk packing. + +Joseph is gone to Nice to educate himself in Kodaking--and to get the +pictures mounted which Mamma thinks she took here; but I noticed she +didn't take the plug out, as a rule. When she did, she took nine +pictures on top of each other--composites. + With lots of love. + PAPA. + + + In the course of their Italian wanderings they reached Florence, + where they were so comfortable and well that they decided to engage + a villa for the next winter. Through Prof. Willard Fiske, they + discovered the Villa Viviani, near Settignano, an old palace + beautifully located on the hilltops east of Florence, commanding a + wonderful view of the ancient city. Clemens felt that he could work + there, and time proved that he was right. + + For the summer, however, they returned to Germany, and located at + Bad-Nauheim. Clemens presently decided to make a trip to America to + give some personal attention to business matters. For one thing, + his publishing-house, in spite of prosperity, seemed constantly to + be requiring more capital, and then a Chicago company had been + persuaded by Paige to undertake the manufacture of the type-setter. + It was the beginning of a series of feverish trips which he would + make back and forth across the ocean during the next two years. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + BAD-NAUHEIM, June 11, '92. + Saturday. +DEAR MR. HALL,--If this arrives before I do, let it inform you that I am +leaving Bremen for New York next Tuesday in the "Havel." + +If you can meet me when the ship arrives, you can help me to get away +from the reporters; and maybe you can take me to your own or some other +lodgings where they can't find me. + +But if the hour is too early or too late for you, I shall obscure myself +somewhere till I can come to the office. + +Yours sincerely + S. L. C. + + + Nothing of importance happened in America. The new Paige company + had a factory started in Chicago and expected to manufacture fifty + machines as a beginning. They claimed to have capital, or to be + able to command it, and as the main control had passed from + Clemens's hands, he could do no more than look over the ground and + hope for the best. As for the business, about all that he could do + was to sign certain notes necessary to provide such additional + capital as was needed, and agree with Hall that hereafter they would + concentrate their efforts and resist further temptation in the way + of new enterprise. Then he returned to Bad-Nauheim and settled down + to literature. This was the middle of July, and he must have worked + pretty steadily, for he presently had a variety of MSS. ready to + offer. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Aug. 10, '92. +DEAR MR. HALT,--I have dropped that novel I wrote you about, because I +saw a more effective way of using the main episode--to wit: by telling it +through the lips of Huck Finn. So I have started Huck Finn and Tom +Sawyer (still 15 years old) and their friend the freed slave Jim around +the world in a stray balloon, with Huck as narrator, and somewhere after +the end of that great voyage he will work in the said episode and then +nobody will suspect that a whole book has been written and the globe +circumnavigated merely to get that episode in an effective (and at the +same time apparently unintentional) way. I have written 12,000 words of +this narrative, and find that the humor flows as easily as the adventures +and surprises--so I shall go along and make a book of from 50,000 to +100,000 words. + +It is a story for boys, of course, and I think will interest any boy +between 8 years and 80. + +When I was in New York the other day Mrs. Dodge, editor of St. Nicholas, +wrote and, offered me $5,000 for (serial right) a story for boys 50,000 +words long. I wrote back and declined, for I had other matter in my +mind, then. + +I conceive that the right way to write a story for boys is to write so +that it will not only interest boys but will also strongly interest any +man who has ever been a boy. That immensely enlarges the audience. + +Now this story doesn't need to be restricted to a Childs magazine--it is +proper enough for any magazine, I should think, or for a syndicate. I +don't swear it, but I think so. + +Proposed title of the story, "New Adventures of Huckleberry Finn." + + [No signature.] + + + The "novel" mentioned in the foregoing was The Extraordinary Twins, + a story from which Pudd'nhead Wilson would be evolved later. It was + a wildly extravagant farce--just the sort of thing that now and then + Mark Twain plunged into with an enthusiasm that had to work itself + out and die a natural death, or mellow into something worth while. + Tom Sawyer Abroad, as the new Huck story was finally called, was + completed and disposed of to St. Nicholas for serial publication. + + The Twichells were in Europe that summer, and came to Bad-Nauheim. + The next letter records a pleasant incident. The Prince of Wales of + that day later became King Edward VII. + + + To Mr. and Mrs. Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa.: + + Private. BAD-NAUHEIM, Aug. 23, '92. +DEAR ORION AND MOLLIE,--("Private" because no newspaper-man or other +gossip must get hold of it) + +Livy is getting along pretty well, and the doctor thinks another summer +here will cure her. + +The Twichell's have been here four days and we have had good times with +them. Joe and I ran over to Homburg, the great pleasure resort, +Saturday, to dine with some friends, and in the morning I went walking in +the promenade and met the British Ambassador to the Court of Berlin, and +he introduced me to the Prince of Wales, and I found him a most unusually +comfortable and unembarrassing Englishman to talk with--quick to see the +obscurest point, and equipped with a laugh which is spontaneous and +catching. Am invited by a near friend of his to meet him at dinner day +after tomorrow, and there could be a good time, but the brass band will +smash the talk and spoil everything. + +We are expecting to move to Florence ten or twelve days hence, but if +this hot weather continues we shall wait for cooler. I take Clara to +Berlin for the winter-music, mainly, with German and French added. Thus +far, Jean is our only glib French scholar. + +We all send love to you all and to Pamela and Sam's family, and Annie. + + SAM + + + Clemens and family left Bad-Nauheim for Italy by way of Switzerland. + In September Mrs. Clemens's sister, Mrs. Crane, who had been with + them in Europe during the first year, had now returned to America. + Mrs. Clemens had improved at the baths, though she had by no means + recovered her health. We get a general report of conditions from + the letter which Clemens wrote Mrs. Crane from Lucerne, Switzerland, + where the party rested for several days. The "Phelps" mentioned in + this letter was William Walter Phelps, United States Minister to + Germany. The Phelps and Clemens families had been much associated + in Berlin. "Mason" was Frank Mason, Consul General at Frankfort, + and in later years at Paris. "Charlie and Ida " were Charles and + Mrs. Langdon, of Elmira. + + + To Mrs. Crane, in Elmira, N. Y.: + + LUCERNE, Sept. 18, '92. +DEAR AUNT SUE,--Imagine how I felt to find that you had actually gone off +without filling my traveling ink stand which you gave me! I found it out +yesterday. Livy advised me to write you about it. + +I have been driving this pen hard. I wrote 280 pages on a yarn called +"Tom Sawyer Abroad," then took up the "Twins" again, destroyed the last +half of the manuscript and re-wrote it in another form, and am going to +continue it and finish it in Florence. "Tom Sawyer" seems rather pale to +the family after the extravagances of the Twins, but they came to like it +after they got used to it + +We remained in Nauheim a little too long. If we had left there four or +five days earlier we should have made Florence in 3 days; but by the time +we got started Livy had got smitten with what we feared might be +erysipelas--greatly swollen neck and face, and unceasing headaches. We +lay idle in Frankfort 4 days, doctoring. We started Thursday and made +Bale. Hard trip, because it was one of those trains that gets tired +every seven minutes and stops to rest three quarters of an hour. It took +us 3 « hours to get here, instead of the regulation 2.20. We reached +here Friday evening and will leave tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. The rest +has made the headaches better. We shall pull through to Milan tomorrow +if possible. Next day we shall start at 10 a. m., and try to make +Bologna, 5 hours. Next day (Thursday) Florence, D. V. Next year we will +walk, for these excursions have got to be made over again. I've got +seven trunks, and I undertook to be courier because I meant to express +them to Florence direct, but we were a couple of days too late. All +continental roads had issued a peremptory order that no baggage should +travel a mile except in the company of the owner. (All over Europe +people are howling; they are separated from their baggage and can't get +it forwarded to them) I have to re-ship my trunks every day. It is very +amusing--uncommonly so. There seemed grave doubts about our being able +to get these trunks over the Italian frontier, but I've got a very +handsome note from the Frankfort Italian Consul General addressed to all +Italian Customs Officers, and we shall get through if anybody does. + +The Phelpses came to Frankfort and we had some great times--dinner at his +hotel, the Masons, supper at our inn--Livy not in it. She was merely +allowed a glimpse, no more. Of course, Phelps said she was merely +pretending to be ill; was never looking so well and fine. + +The children are all right. They paddle around a little, and drive-so do +we all. Lucerne seems to be pretty full of tourists. The Fleulen boat +went out crowded yesterday morning. + +The Paris Herald has created a public interest by inoculating one of its +correspondents with cholera. A man said yesterday he wished to God they +would inoculate all of them. Yes, the interest is quite general and +strong, and much hope is felt. + +Livy says, I have said enough bad things, and better send all our loves +to you and Charley and Ida and all the children and shut up. Which I do +--and shut up. + S. L. C. + + + They reached Florence on the 26th, and four days later we find + Clemens writing again to Mrs. Crane, detailing everything at length. + Little comment on this letter is required; it fully explains itself. + Perhaps a word of description from one of his memoranda will not be + out of place. Of the villa he wrote: "It is a plain, square + building, like a box, and is painted light green and has green + window-shutters. It stands in a commanding position on the + artificial terrace of liberal dimensions, which is walled around + with masonry. From the walls the vineyards and olive groves of the + estate slant away toward the valley.... Roses overflow the + retaining walls and the battered and mossy stone urn on the gate- + post, in pink and yellow cataracts, exactly as they do on the drop- + curtains in the theaters. The house is a very fortress for + strength." + + The Mrs. Ross in this letter was Janet Ross, daughter of Lady Duff + Gordon, remembered to-day for her Egyptian letters. The Ross castle + was but a little distance away. + + + To Mrs. Crane, in Elmira: + + VILLA VIVIANI, SETTIGNANO, FLORENCE. + Sept. 30, 1892 +DEAR SUE,--We have been in the house several days, and certainly it is a +beautiful place,--particularly at this moment, when the skies are a deep +leaden color, the domes of Florence dim in the drizzling rain, and +occasional perpendicular coils of lightning quivering intensely in the +black sky about Galileo's Tower. It is a charming panorama, and the most +conspicuous towers and domes down in the city look to-day just as they +looked when Boccaccio and Dante used to contemplate them from this +hillock five and six hundred years ago. + +The Mademoiselle is a great help to Livy in the housekeeping, and is a +cheery and cheerful presence in the house. The butler is equipped with a +little French, and it is this fact that enables the house to go--but it +won't go well until the family get some sort of facility with the Italian +tongue, for the cook, the woman-of-all-work and the coachman understand +only that. It is a stubborn and devilish language to learn, but Jean and +the others will master it. Livy's German Nauheim girl is the worst off +of anybody, as there is no market for her tongue at all among the help. + +With the furniture in and the curtains up the house is very pretty, and +not unhomelike. At mid-night last night we heard screams up stairs--Susy +had set the lofty window curtains afire with a candle. This sounds kind +of frightful, whereas when you come to think of it, a burning curtain or +pile of furniture hasn't any element of danger about it in this fortress. +There isn't any conceivable way to burn this house down, or enable a +conflagration on one floor to climb to the next. + +Mrs. Ross laid in our wood, wine and servants for us, and they are +excellent. She had the house scoured from Cellar to rook the curtains +washed and put up, all beds pulled to pieces, beaten, washed and put +together again, and beguiled the Marchese into putting a big porcelain +stove in the vast central hall. She is a wonderful woman, and we don't +quite see how or when we should have gotten under way without her. + +Observe our address above--the post delivers letters daily at the house. + +Even with the work and fuss of settling the house Livy has improved--and +the best is yet to come. There is going to be absolute seclusion here-- +a hermit life, in fact. We (the rest of us) shall run over to the Ross's +frequently, and they will come here now and then and see Livy--that is +all. Mr. Fiske is away--nobody knows where--and the work on his house +has been stopped and his servants discharged. Therefore we shall merely +go Rossing--as far as society is concerned--shan't circulate in Florence +until Livy shall be well enough to take a share in it. + +This present house is modern. It is not much more than two centuries +old; but parts of it, and also its foundations are of high antiquity. +The fine beautiful family portraits--the great carved ones in the large +ovals over the doors of the big hall--carry one well back into the past. +One of them is dated 1305--he could have known Dante, you see. Another +is dated 1343--he could have known Boccaccio and spent his afternoons in +Fiesole listening to the Decameron tales. Another is dated 1463-- +he could have met Columbus..... + +Evening. The storm thundered away until night, and the rain came down in +floods. For awhile there was a partial break, which furnished about such +a sunset as will be exhibited when the Last Day comes and the universe +tumbles together in wreck and ruin. I have never seen anything more +spectacular and impressive. + +One person is satisfied with the villa, anyway. Jean prefers it to all +Europe, save Venice. Jean is eager to get at the Italian tongue again, +now, and I see that she has forgotten little or nothing of what she +learned of it in Rome and Venice last spring. + +I am the head French duffer of the family. Most of the talk goes over my +head at the table. I catch only words, not phrases. When Italian comes +to be substituted I shall be even worse off than I am now, I suppose. + +This reminds me that this evening the German girl said to Livy, "Man hat +mir gesagt loss Sie una candella verlaught habe"--unconsciously dropping +in a couple of Italian words, you see. So she is going to join the +polyglots, too, it appears. They say it is good entertainment to hear +her and the butler talk together in their respective tongues, piecing out +and patching up with the universal sign-language as they go along. Five +languages in use in the house (including the sign-language-hardest-worked +of them all) and yet with all this opulence of resource we do seem to +have an uncommonly tough time making ourselves understood. + +What we lack is a cat. If we only had Germania! That was the most +satisfactory all-round cat I have seen yet. Totally ungermanic in the +raciness of his character and in the sparkle of his mind and the +spontaneity of his movements. We shall not look upon his like again.... + + S. L. C. + + + Clemens got well settled down to work presently. He found the + situation, the climate, the background, entirely suited to literary + production, and in a little while he had accomplished more than at + any other time since his arrival in Europe. From letters to Mrs. + Crane and to Mr. Hall we learn something of his employments and his + satisfaction. + + + To Mrs. Crane, in Elmira: + + VILLA VIVIANI + SETTIGNANO, FLORENCE. Oct. 22, '92. +DEAR SUE,--We are getting wonted. The open fires have driven away the +cold and the doubt, and now a cheery spirit pervades the place. Livy and +the Kings and Mademoiselle having been taking their tea a number of +times, lately, on the open terrace with the city and the hills and the +sunset for company. I stop work, a few minutes, as a rule, when the sun +gets down to the hilltops west of Florence, and join the tea-group to +wonder and exclaim. There is always some new miracle in the view, a new +and exquisite variation in the show, a variation which occurs every 15 +minutes between dawn and night. Once early in the morning, a multitude +of white villas not before perceived, revealed themselves on the far +hills; then we recognized that all those great hills are snowed thick +with them, clear to the summit. + +The variety of lovely effects, the infinitude of change, is something not +to be believed by any who has not seen it. No view that I am acquainted +with in the world is at all comparable to this for delicacy, charm, +exquisiteness, dainty coloring, and bewildering rapidity of change. It +keeps a person drunk with pleasure all the time. Sometimes Florence +ceases to be substantial, and becomes just a faint soft dream, with domes +and towers of air, and one is persuaded that he might blow it away with a +puff of his breath. + +Livy is progressing admirably. This is just the place for her. + + [Remainder missing.] + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Dec. 12, '92. +DEAR MR. HALL,--November check received. + +I have lent the Californian's Story to Arthur Stedman for his Author Club +Book, so your suggestion that my new spring-book bear that name arrives +too late, as he probably would not want us to use that story in a book of +ours until the Author book had had its run. That is for him to decide-- +and I don't want him hampered at all in his decision. I, for my part, +prefer the "$1,000,000 Banknote and Other Stories" by Mark Twain as a +title, but above my judgment I prefer yours. I mean this--it is not +taffy. + +I told Arthur to leave out the former squib or paragraph and use only the +Californian's Story. Tell him this is because I am going to use that in +the book I am now writing. + +I finished "Those Extraordinary Twins" night before last makes 60 or +80,000 words--haven't counted. + +The last third of it suits me to a dot. I begin, to-day, to entirely +recast and re-write the first two-thirds--new plan, with two minor +characters, made very prominent, one major character cropped out, and the +Twins subordinated to a minor but not insignificant place. + +The minor character will now become the chiefest, and I will name the +story after him--"Puddn'head Wilson." + +Merry Xmas to you, and great prosperity and felicity! + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XXXIII + +LETTERS, 1893, TO MR. HALL, MRS. CLEMENS, AND OTHERS. FLORENCE. +BUSINESS TROUBLES. "PUDD'NHEAD WILSON." "JOAN OF ARC." +AT THE PLAYERS, NEW YORK + +The reader may have suspected that young Mr. Hall in New York was having +his troubles. He was by this time one-third owner in the business of +Charles L. Webster & Co., as well as its general manager. The business +had been drained of its capital one way and another-partly by the +publication of unprofitable books; partly by the earlier demands of the +typesetter, but more than all by the manufacturing cost and agents' +commissions demanded by L. A. L.; that is to say, the eleven large +volumes constituting the Library of American Literature, which Webster +had undertaken to place in a million American homes. There was plenty of +sale for it--indeed, that was just the trouble; for it was sold on +payments--small monthly payments--while the cost of manufacture and the +liberal agents' commissions were cash items, and it would require a +considerable period before the dribble of collections would swell into a +tide large enough to satisfy the steady outflow of expense. A sale of +twenty-five sets a day meant prosperity on paper, but unless capital +could be raised from some other source to make and market those books +through a period of months, perhaps even years, to come, it meant +bankruptcy in reality. It was Hall's job, with Clemens to back him, to +keep their ship afloat on these steadily ebbing financial waters. It was +also Hall's affair to keep Mark Twain cheerful, to look pleasant himself, +and to show how they were steadily getting rich because orders were +pouring in, though a cloud that resembled bankruptcy loomed always a +little higher upon the horizon. If Hall had not been young and an +optimist, he would have been frightened out of his boots early in the +game. As it was, he made a brave steady fight, kept as cheerful and +stiff an upper lip as possible, always hoping that something would +happen--some grand sale of his other books, some unexpected inflow from +the type-setter interests--anything that would sustain his ship until the +L. A. L. tide should turn and float it into safety. + +Clemens had faith in Hall and was fond of him. He never found fault with +him; he tried to accept his encouraging reports at their face value. He +lent the firm every dollar of his literary earnings not absolutely needed +for the family's support; he signed new notes; he allowed Mrs. Clemens to +put in such remnants of her patrimony as the type-setter had spared. + +The situation in 1893 was about as here outlined. The letters to Hall of +that year are frequent and carry along the story. To any who had formed +the idea that Mark Twain was irascible, exacting, and faultfinding, they +will perhaps be a revelation. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + FLORENCE, Jan. 1, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Yours of Dec. 19 is to hand, and Mrs. Clemens is deeply +distressed, for she thinks I have been blaming you or finding fault with +you about something. But most surely that cannot be. I tell her that +although I am prone to write hasty and regrettable things to other +people, I am not a bit likely to write such things to you. I can't +believe I have done anything so ungrateful. If I have, pile coals of +fire on my head, for I deserve it! + +I wonder if my letter of credit isn't an encumbrance? Do you have to +deposit the whole amount it calls for? If that is so, it is an +encumbrance, and we must withdraw it and take the money out of soak. +I have never made drafts upon it except when compelled, because I thought +you deposited nothing against it, and only had to put up money that I +drew upon it; that therefore the less I drew the easier it would be for +you. + +I am dreadfully sorry I didn't know it would be a help to you to let my +monthly check pass over a couple of months. I could have stood that by +drawing what is left of Mrs. Clemens's letter of credit, and we would +have done it cheerfully. + +I will write Whitmore to send you the "Century" check for $1,000, and you +can collect Mrs. Dodge's $2,000 (Whitmore has power of attorney which I +think will enable him to endorse it over to you in my name.) If you need +that $3,000 put it in the business and use it, and send Whitmore the +Company's note for a year. If you don't need it, turn it over to Mr. +Halsey and let him invest it for me. + +I've a mighty poor financial head, and I may be all wrong--but tell me if +I am wrong in supposing that in lending my own firm money at 6 per cent I +pay 4 of it myself and so really get only a per cent? Now don't laugh if +that is stupid. + +Of course my friend declined to buy a quarter interest in the L. A. L. +for $200,000. I judged he would. I hoped he would offer $100,000, but +he didn't. If the cholera breaks out in America, a few months hence, we +can't borrow or sell; but if it doesn't we must try hard to raise +$100,000. I wish we could do it before there is a cholera scare. + +I have been in bed two or three days with a cold, but I got up an hour +ago, and I believe I am all right again. + +How I wish I had appreciated the need of $100,000 when I was in New York +last summer! I would have tried my best to raise it. It would make us +able to stand 1,000 sets of L. A. L. per month, but not any more, I +guess. + +You have done magnificently with the business, and we must raise the +money somehow, to enable you to reap the reward of all that labor. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +"Whitmore," in this letter, was F. G. Whitmore, of Hartford, Mark Twain's +financial agent. The money due from Mrs. Dodge was a balance on Tom +Sawyer Abroad, which had been accepted by St. Nicholas. Mr. Halsey was a +down-town broker. + +Clemens, who was growing weary of the constant demands of L. A. L., had +conceived the idea that it would be well to dispose of a portion of it +for enough cash to finance its manufacture. + +We don't know who the friend was to whom he offered a quarter interest +for the modest sum of two hundred thousand dollars. But in the next +letter we discover designs on a certain very canny Scotchman of Skibo. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + FLORENCE, Jan. 28, '92. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I want to throw out a suggestion and see what you think +of it. We have a good start, and solid ground under us; we have a +valuable reputation; our business organization is practical, sound and +well-devised; our publications are of a respect-worthy character and of a +money-breeding species. Now then I think that the association with us of +some one of great name and with capital would give our business a +prodigious impetus--that phrase is not too strong. + +As I look at it, it is not money merely that is needed; if that were all, +the firm has friends enough who would take an interest in a paying +venture; we need some one who has made his life a success not only from a +business standpoint, but with that achievement back of him, has been +great enough to make his power felt as a thinker and a literary man. It +is a pretty usual thing for publishers to have this sort of partners. +Now you see what a power Carnegie is, and how far his voice reaches in +the several lines I speak of. Do you know him? You do by correspondence +or purely business talks about his books--but personally, I mean? so that +it would not be an intrusion for you to speak to him about this desire of +mine--for I would like you to put it before him, and if you fail to +interest him in it, you will probably get at least some valuable +suggestions from him. I'll enclose a note of introduction--you needn't +use it if you don't need to. + Yours S. L. C. + +P. S. Yes, I think I have already acknowledged the Dec. $1,000 and the +Jan. $500--and if another $500 was mailed 3 days ago there's no hiatus. + +I think I also reminded you that the new letter of credit does not cover +the unexpended balance of the old one but falls considerably short of it. + +Do your best with Carnegie, and don't wait to consider any of my +intermediate suggestions or talks about our raising half of the $200,000 +ourselves. I mean, wait for nothing. To make my suggestion available I +should have to go over and see Arnot, and I don't want to until I can +mention Carnegie's name to him as going in with us. + +My book is type-written and ready for print--"Pudd'nhead Wilson-a Tale." +(Or, "Those Extraordinary Twins," if preferable.) + +It makes 82,500 words--12,000 more than Huck Finn. But I don't know what +to do with it. Mrs. Clemens thinks it wouldn't do to go to the Am. Pub. +Co. or anywhere outside of our own house; we have no subscription +machinery, and a book in the trade is a book thrown away, as far as +money-profit goes. I am in a quandary. Give me a lift out of it. + +I will mail the book to you and get you to examine it and see if it is +good or if it is bad. I think it is good, and I thought the Claimant +bad, when I saw it in print; but as for real judgment, I think I am +destitute of it. + +I am writing a companion to the Prince and Pauper, which is half done and +will make 200,000 words; and I have had the idea that if it were gotten +up in handsome style, with many illustrations and put at a high enough +price maybe the L. A. L. canvassers would take it and run it with that +book. Would they? It could be priced anywhere from $4 up to $10, +according to how it was gotten up, I suppose. + +I don't want it to go into a magazine. + S. L. C. + +I am having several short things type-"writered." I will send them to +you presently. I like the Century and Harper's, but I don't know that I +have any business to object to the Cosmopolitan if they pay as good +rates. I suppose a man ought to stick to one magazine, but that may be +only superstition. What do you think? + S. L. C. + + + "The companion to The Prince and the Pauper," mentioned in this + letter, was the story of Joan of Arc, perhaps the most finished of + Mark Twain's literary productions. His interest in Joan had been + first awakened when, as a printer's apprentice in Hannibal, he had + found blowing along the street a stray leaf from some printed story + of her life. That fragment of history had pictured Joan in prison, + insulted and mistreated by ruffians. It had aroused all the + sympathy and indignation in the boy, Sam Clemens; also, it had + awakened his interest in history, and, indeed, in all literature. + + His love for the character of Joan had grown with the years, until + in time he had conceived the idea of writing her story. As far back + as the early eighties he had collected material for it, and had + begun to make the notes. One thing and another had interfered, and + he had found no opportunity for such a story. Now, however, in + Florence, in the ancient villa, and in the quiet garden, looking + across the vineyards and olive groves to the dream city along the + Arno, he felt moved to take up the tale of the shepherd girl of + France, the soldier maid, or, as he called her, "The noble child, + the most innocent, the most lovely, the most adorable the ages have + produced." His surroundings and background would seem to have been + perfect, and he must have written with considerable ease to have + completed a hundred thousand words in a period of not more than six + weeks. + + Perhaps Hall did not even go to see Carnegie; at all events nothing + seems to have come of the idea. Once, at a later time, Mask Twain + himself mentioned the matter to Carnegie, and suggested to him that + it was poor financiering to put all of one's eggs into one basket, + meaning into iron. But Carnegie answered, "That's a mistake; put + all your eggs into one basket and watch that basket." + + It was March when Clemens felt that once more his presence was + demanded in America. He must see if anything could be realized from + the type-setter or L. A. L. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + March 13, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am busy getting ready to sail the 22d, in the Kaiser +Wilhelm II. + +I send herewith 2 magazine articles. + +The Story contains 3,800 to 4,000 words. + +The "Diary" contains 3,800 words. + +Each would make about 4 pages of the Century. + +The Diary is a gem, if I do say it myself that shouldn't. + +If the Cosmopolitan wishes to pay $600 for either of them or $1,200 for +both, gather in the check, and I will use the money in America instead of +breaking into your treasury. + +If they don't wish to trade for either, send the articles to the Century, +without naming a price, and if their check isn't large enough I will call +and abuse them when I come. + +I signed and mailed the notes yesterday. + Yours + S. L. C. + + + Clemens reached New York on the 3d of April and made a trip to + Chicago, but accomplished nothing, except to visit the World's Fair + and be laid up with a severe cold. The machine situation had not + progressed. The financial stringency of 1893 had brought everything + to a standstill. The New York bank would advance Webster & Co. no + more money. So disturbed were his affairs, so disordered was + everything, that sometimes he felt himself as one walking amid + unrealities. A fragment of a letter to Mrs. Crane conveys this: + + "I dreamed I was born and grew up and was a pilot on the Mississippi + and a miner and a journalist in Nevada and a pilgrim in the Quaker + City, and had a wife and children and went to live in a villa at + Florence--and this dream goes on and on and sometimes seems so real + that I almost believe it is real. I wonder if it is? But there is + no way to tell, for if one applies tests they would be part of the + dream, too, and so would simply aid the deceit. I wish I knew + whether it is a dream or real." + + He saw Warner, briefly, in America; also Howells, now living in New + York, but he had little time for visiting. On May 13th he sailed + again for Europe on the Kaiser Wilhelm II. On the night before + sailing he sent Howells a good-by word. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York City: + + MURRAY HILL HOTEL, NEW YORE, May 12, 1893. + Midnight. +DEAR HOWELLS--I am so sorry I missed you. + +I am very glad to have that book for sea entertainment, and I thank you +ever so much for it. + +I've had a little visit with Warner at last; I was getting afraid I +wasn't going to have a chance to see him at all. I forgot to tell you +how thoroughly I enjoyed your account of the country printing office, and +how true it all was and how intimately recognizable in all its details. +But Warner was full of delight over it, and that reminded me, and I am +glad, for I wanted to speak of it. + +You have given me a book; Annie Trumbull has sent me her book; I bought a +couple of books; Mr. Hall gave me a choice German book; Laflan gave me +two bottles of whisky and a box of cigars--I go to sea nobly equipped. + +Good-bye and all good fortune attend you and yours--and upon you all I +leave my benediction. + MARK. + + + Mention has already been made of the Ross home being very near to + Viviani, and the association of the Ross and Clemens families. + There was a fine vegetable garden on the Ross estate, and it was in + the interest of it that the next letter was written to the Secretary + of Agriculture. + + + To Hon. J. Sterling Morton, in Washington, D. C.: + Editorial Department Century Magazine, Union Square, + + NEW YORK, April 6, 1893. +TO THE HON. J. STERLING MORTON,--Dear Sir: Your petitioner, Mark Twain, +a poor farmer of Connecticut--indeed, the poorest one there, in the +opinion of many-desires a few choice breeds of seed corn (maize), and in +return will zealously support the Administration in all ways honorable +and otherwise. + +To speak by the card, I want these things to hurry to Italy to an English +lady. She is a neighbor of mine outside of Florence, and has a great +garden and thinks she could raise corn for her table if she had the right +ammunition. I myself feel a warm interest in this enterprise, both on +patriotic grounds and because I have a key to that garden, which I got +made from a wax impression. It is not very good soil, still I think she +can grow enough for one table and I am in a position to select the table. +If you are willing to aid and abet a countryman (and Gilder thinks you +are,) please find the signature and address of your petitioner below. + +Respectfully and truly yours. + MARK TWAIN, + +67 Fifth Avenue, New York. + +P. S.--A handful of choice (Southern) watermelon seeds would pleasantly +add to that lady's employments and give my table a corresponding lift. + + + His idea of business values had moderated considerably by the time + he had returned to Florence. He was not hopeless yet, but he was + clearly a good deal disheartened--anxious for freedom. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + FLORENCE May 30, '93 +DEAR MR. HALL,--You were to cable me if you sold any machine royalties-- +so I judge you have not succeeded. + +This has depressed me. I have been looking over the past year's letters +and statements and am depressed still more. + +I am terribly tired of business. I am by nature and disposition unfitted +for it and I want to get out of it. I am standing on the Mount Morris +volcano with help from the machine a long way off--doubtless a long way +further off than the Connecticut Co. imagines. + +Now here is my idea for getting out. + +The firm owes Mrs. Clemens and me--I do not know quite how much, but it +is about $170,000 or $175,000, 1 suppose (I make this guess from the +documents here, whose technicalities confuse me horribly.) + +The firm owes other sums, but there is stock and cash assets to cover the +entire indebtedness and $116,679.20 over. Is that it? In addition we +have the L. A. L. plates and copyright, worth more than $130,000--is +that correct? + +That is to say, we have property worth about $250,000 above indebtedness, +I suppose--or, by one of your estimates, $300,000? The greater part of +the first debts to me is in notes paying 6 percent. The rest (the old +$70,000 or whatever it is) pays no interest. + +Now then, will Harper or Appleton, or Putnam give me $200,000 for those +debts and my two-thirds interest in the firm? (The firm of course taking +the Mount Morris and all such obligations off my hands and leaving me +clear of all responsibility.) + +I don't want much money. I only want first class notes--$200,000 worth +of them at 6 per cent, payable monthly;--yearly notes, renewable annually +for 3 years, with $5,000 of the principal payable at the beginning and +middle of each year. After that, the notes renewable annually and +(perhaps) a larger part of the principal payable semi-annually. + +Please advise me and suggest alterations and emendations of the above +scheme, for I need that sort of help, being ignorant of business and not +able to learn a single detail of it. + +Such a deal would make it easy for a big firm to pour in a big cash +capital and jump L. A. L. up to enormous prosperity. Then your one-third +would be a fortune--and I hope to see that day! + +I enclose an authority to use with Whitmore in case you have sold any +royalties. But if you can't make this deal don't make any. Wait a +little and see if you can't make the deal. Do make the deal if you +possibly can. And if any presence shall be necessary in order to +complete it I will come over, though I hope it can be done without that. + +Get me out of business! + +And I will be yours forever gratefully, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +My idea is, that I am offering my 2/3 of L. A. L. and the business for +thirty or forty thousand dollars. Is that it? + +P. S. S. The new firm could retain my books and reduce them to a +10 percent royalty. S. L. C. + + + To Rev. Jos. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + VILLA VIVIANI, SETTIGNANO (FLORENCE) + June 9, '93. +DEAR JOE,--The sea voyage set me up and I reached here May 27 in +tolerable condition--nothing left but weakness, cough all gone. + +Old Sir Henry Layard was here the other day, visiting our neighbor Janet +Ross, daughter of Lady Duff Gordon, and since then I have been reading +his account of the adventures of his youth in the far East. In a +footnote he has something to say about a sailor which I thought might +interest you--viz: + +"This same quartermaster was celebrated among the English in Mesopotamia +for an entry which he made in his log-book-after a perilous storm; 'The +windy and watery elements raged. Tears and prayers was had recourse to, +but was of no manner of use. So we hauled up the anchor and got round +the point.'" + +There--it isn't Ned Wakeman; it was before his day. + + With love, + MARK. + + + They closed Villa Viviani in June and near the end of the month + arrived in Munich in order that Mrs. Clemens might visit some of the + German baths. The next letter is written by her and shows her deep + sympathy with Hall in his desperate struggle. There have been few + more unselfish and courageous women in history than Mark Twain's + wife. + + + From Mrs. Clemens to Mr. Hall, in New York: + + June 27th 1893 + MUNICH. +DEAR MR. HALL,-- Your letter to Mr. Clemens of June 16th has just reached +here; as he has gone to Berlin for Clara I am going to send you just a +line in answer to it. + +Mr. Clemens did not realize what trouble you would be in when his letter +should reach you or he would not have sent it just then. I hope you will +not worry any more than you can help. Do not let our interests weigh on +you too heavily. We both know you will, as you always have, look in +every way to the best interests of all. + +I think Mr. Clemens is right in feeling that he should get out of +business, that he is not fitted for it; it worries him too much. + +But he need be in no haste about it, and of course, it would be the very +farthest from his desire to imperil, in the slightest degree, your +interests in order to save his own. + +I am sure that I voice his wish as well as mine when I say that he would +simply like you to bear in mind the fact that he greatly desires to be +released from his present anxiety and worry, at a time when it shall not +endanger your interest or the safety of the business. + +I am more sorry than I can express that this letter of Mr. Clemens' +should have reached you when you were struggling under such terrible +pressure. I hope now that the weight is not quite so heavy. He would +not have written you about the money if he had known that it was an +inconvenience for you to send it. He thought the book-keeper whose duty +it is to forward it had forgotten. + +We can draw on Mr. Langdon for money for a few weeks until things are a +little easier with you. As Mr. Clemens wrote you we would say "do not +send us any more money at present" if we were not afraid to do so. I +will say, however, do not trouble yourself if for a few weeks you are not +able to send the usual amount. + +Mr. Clemens and I have the greatest possible desire, not to increase in +any way your burdens, and sincerely wish we might aid you. + +I trust my brother may be able, in his talk with you, to throw some +helpful light on the situation. + +Hoping you will see a change for the better and begin to reap the fruit +of your long and hard labor. + Believe me + Very Cordially yours + OLIVIA L. CLEMENS. + + +Hall, naturally, did not wish to be left alone with the business. He +realized that his credit would suffer, both at the bank and with the +public, if his distinguished partner should retire. He wrote, therefore, +proposing as an alternate that they dispose of the big subscription set +that was swamping them. It was a good plan--if it would work--and we +find Clemens entering into it heartily. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + MUNICH, July 3, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--You make a suggestion which has once or twice flitted +dimly through my mind heretofore to wit, sell L. A. L. + +I like that better than the other scheme, for it is no doubt feasible, +whereas the other is perhaps not. + +The firm is in debt, but L. A. L. is free--and not only free but has +large money owing to it. A proposition to sell that by itself to a big +house could be made without embarrassment we merely confess that we +cannot spare capital from the rest of the business to run it on the huge +scale necessary to make it an opulent success. + +It will be selling a good thing--for somebody; and it will be getting rid +of a load which we are clearly not able to carry. Whoever buys will have +a noble good opening--a complete equipment, a well organized business, +a capable and experienced manager, and enterprise not experimental but +under full sail, and immediately able to pay 50 per cent a year on every +dollar the publisher shall actually invest in it--I mean in making and +selling the books. + +I am miserably sorry to be adding bothers and torments to the over-supply +which you already have in these hideous times, but I feel so troubled, +myself, considering the dreary fact that we are getting deeper and deeper +in debt and the L. A. L. getting to be a heavier and heavier burden all +the time, that I must bestir myself and seek a way of relief. + +It did not occur to me that in selling out I would injure you--for that I +am not going to do. But to sell L. A. L. will not injure you it will put +you in better shape. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + July 8, '92. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am sincerely glad you are going to sell L. A. L. I am +glad you are shutting off the agents, and I hope the fatal book will be +out of our hands before it will be time to put them on again. With +nothing but our non-existent capital to work with the book has no value +for us, rich a prize as it will be to any competent house that gets it. + +I hope you are making an effort to sell before you discharge too many +agents, for I suppose the agents are a valuable part of the property. + +We have been stopping in Munich for awhile, but we shall make a break for +some country resort in a few days now. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. C. + + July 8 +P. S. No, I suppose I am wrong in suggesting that you wait a moment +before discharging your L. A. L. agents--in fact I didn't mean that. +I judge your only hope of salvation is in discharging them all at once, +since it is their commissions that threaten to swamp us. It is they who +have eaten up the $14,000 I left with you in such a brief time, no doubt. + +I feel panicky. + +I think the sale might be made with better advantage, however, now, than +later when the agents have got out of the purchaser's reach. + S. L. C. + +P. S. No monthly report for many months. + + + Those who are old enough to remember the summer of 1893 may recall + it as a black financial season. Banks were denying credit, + businesses were forced to the wall. It was a poor time to float any + costly enterprise. The Chicago company who was trying to build the + machines made little progress. The book business everywhere was + bad. In a brief note following the foregoing letters Clemens wrote + Hall: + + "It is now past the middle of July and no cablegram to say the + machine is finished. We are afraid you are having miserable days + and worried nights, and we sincerely wish we could relieve you, but + it is all black with us and we don't know any helpful thing to say + or do." + + He inclosed some kind of manuscript proposition for John Brisben + Walker, of the Cosmopolitan, with the comment: "It is my ingenious + scheme to protect the family against the alms-house for one more + year--and after that--well, goodness knows! I have never felt so + desperate in my life--and good reason, for I haven't got a penny to + my name, and Mrs. Clemens hasn't enough laid up with Langdon to keep + us two months." + + It was like Mark Twain, in the midst of all this turmoil, to project + an entirely new enterprise; his busy mind was always visioning + success in unusual undertakings, regardless of immediate conditions + and the steps necessary to achievement. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + July 26, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,-- ..... I hope the machine will be finished this month; +but it took me four years and cost me $100,000 to finish the other +machine after it was apparently entirely complete and setting type like a +house-afire. + +I wonder what they call "finished." After it is absolutely perfect it +can't go into a printing-office until it has had a month's wear, running +night and day, to get the bearings smooth, I judge. + +I may be able to run over about mid-October. Then if I find you relieved +of L. A. L. we will start a magazine inexpensive, and of an entirely +unique sort. Arthur Stedman and his father editors of it. Arthur could +do all the work, merely submitting it to his father for approval. + +The first number should pay--and all subsequent ones --25 cents a number. +Cost of first number (20,000 copies) $2,000. Give most of them away, +sell the rest. Advertising and other expenses--cost unknown. Send one +to all newspapers--it would get a notice--favorable, too. + +But we cannot undertake it until L. A. L, is out of the way. With our +hands free and some capital to spare, we could make it hum. + +Where is the Shelley article? If you have it on hand, keep it and I will +presently tell you what to do with it. + +Don't forget to tell me. + Yours Sincerely + S. L. C. + + + The Shelley article mentioned in this letter was the "Defense of + Harriet Sheller," one of the very best of his essays. How he could + have written this splendid paper at a time of such distraction + passes comprehension. Furthermore, it is clear that he had revised, + indeed rewritten, the long story of Pudd'nhead Wilson. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + July 30, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--This time "Pudd'nhead Wilson" is a success! Even Mrs. +Clemens, the most difficult of critics, confesses it, and without +reserves or qualifications. Formerly she would not consent that it be +published either before or after my death. I have pulled the twins apart +and made two individuals of them; I have sunk them out of sight, they are +mere flitting shadows, now, and of no importance; their story has +disappeared from the book. Aunt Betsy Hale has vanished wholly, leaving +not a trace behind; aunt Patsy Cooper and her daughter Rowena have almost +disappeared--they scarcely walk across the stage. The whole story is +centered on the murder and the trial; from the first chapter the movement +is straight ahead without divergence or side-play to the murder and the +trial; everything that is done or said or that happens is a preparation +for those events. Therefore, 3 people stand up high, from beginning to +end, and only 3--Pudd'nhead, "Tom" Driscoll, and his nigger mother, +Roxana; none of the others are important, or get in the way of the story +or require the reader's attention. Consequently, the scenes and episodes +which were the strength of the book formerly are stronger than ever, now. + +When I began this final reconstruction the story contained 81,500 words, +now it contains only 58,000. I have knocked out everything that delayed +the march of the story--even the description of a Mississippi steamboat. +There's no weather in, and no scenery--the story is stripped for flight! + +Now, then what is she worth? The amount of matter is but 3,000 words +short of the American Claimant, for which the syndicate paid $12,500. +There was nothing new in that story, but the finger-prints in this one +is virgin ground--absolutely fresh, and mighty curious and interesting +to everybody. + +I don't want any more syndicating--nothing short of $20,000, anyway, and +that I can't get--but won't you see how much the Cosmopolitan will stand? + +Do your best for me, for I do not sleep these nights, for visions of the +poor-house. + +This in spite of the hopeful tone of yours of 11th to Langdon (just +received) for in me hope is very nearly expiring. Everything does look +so blue, so dismally blue! + +By and by I shall take up the Rhone open-boat voyage again, but not now- +we are going to be moving around too much. I have torn up some of it, +but still have 15,000 words that Mrs. Clemens approves of, and that I +like. I may go at it in Paris again next winter, but not unless I know I +can write it to suit me. + +Otherwise I shall tackle Adam once more, and do him in a kind of a +friendly and respectful way that will commend him to the Sunday schools. +I've been thinking out his first life-days to-day and framing his +childish and ignorant impressions and opinions for him. + +Will ship Pudd'nhead in a few days. When you get it cable + + Mark Twain + Care Brownship, London + Received. + +I mean to ship "Pudd'nhead Wilson" to you-say, tomorrow. It'll furnish +me hash for awhile I reckon. I am almost sorry it is finished; it was +good entertainment to work at it, and kept my mind away from things. + +We leave here in about ten days, but the doctors have changed our plans +again. I think we shall be in Bohemia or thereabouts till near the end +of September, then go to Paris and take a rest. + Yours Sincerely + S. L. C. + +P. S. Mrs. Clemens has come in since, and read your letter and is deeply +distressed. She thinks that in some letter of mine I must have +reproached you. She says it is wonderful that you have kept the ship +afloat in this storm that has seen fleets and fleets go down; that from +what she learns of the American business-situation from her home letters +you have accomplished a marvel in the circumstances, and that she cannot +bear to have a word said to you that shall voice anything but praise and +the heartiest appreciation--and not the shadow of a reproach will she +allow. + +I tell her I didn't reproach you and never thought of such a thing. And +I said I would break open my letter and say so. + +Mrs. Clemens says I must tell you not to send any money for a month or +two--so that you may be afforded what little relief is in our power. +All right--I'm willing; (this is honest) but I wish Brer Chatto would +send along his little yearly contribution. I dropped him a line about +another matter a week ago--asked him to subscribe for the Daily News for +me--you see I wanted to remind him in a covert way that it was pay-up +time--but doubtless I directed the letter to you or some one else, for I +don't hear from him and don't get any Daily News either. + + +To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Aug. 6, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am very sorry--it was thoughtless in me. Let the +reports go. Send me once a month two items, and two only: + +Cash liabilities--(so much) +Cash assets--(so much) + +I can perceive the condition of the business at a glance, then, and that +will be sufficient. + +Here we never see a newspaper, but even if we did I could not come +anywhere near appreciating or correctly estimating the tempest you have +been buffeting your way through--only the man who is in it can do that-- +but I have tried not to burden you thoughtlessly or wantonly. I have +been wrought and unsettled in mind by apprehensions, and that is a thing +that is not helpable when one is in a strange land and sees his resources +melt down to a two months' supply and can't see any sure daylight beyond. +The bloody machine offered but a doubtful outlook--and will still offer +nothing much better for a long time to come; for when Davis's "three +weeks" is up there's three months' tinkering to follow I guess. That is +unquestionably the boss machine of the world, but is the toughest one on +prophets, when it is in an incomplete state, that has ever seen the +light. Neither Davis nor any other man can foretell with any +considerable approach to certainty when it will be ready to get down to +actual work in a printing office. + + [No signature.] + + + Three days after the foregoing letter was written he wrote, briefly: + + "Great Scott but it's a long year-for you and me! I never knew the + almanac to drag so. At least since I was finishing that other + machine. + + "I watch for your letters hungrily--just as I used to watch for the + cablegram saying the machine's finished; but when 'next week + certainly' swelled into 'three weeks sure' I recognized the old + familiar tune I used to hear so much. Ward don't know what sick- + heartedness is--but he is in a way to find out." + + Always the quaint form of his humor, no matter how dark the way. + We may picture him walking the floor, planning, scheming, and + smoking--always smoking--trying to find a way out. It was not the + kind of scheming that many men have done under the circumstances; + not scheming to avoid payment of debts, but to pay them. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Aug. 14, '93 +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am very glad indeed if you and Mr. Langdon are able to +see any daylight ahead. To me none is visible. I strongly advise that +every penny that comes in shall be applied to paying off debts. I may be +in error about this, but it seems to me that we have no other course +open. We can pay a part of the debts owing to outsiders--none to the +Clemenses. In very prosperous times we might regard our stock and +copyrights as assets sufficient, with the money owing to us, to square up +and quit even, but I suppose we may not hope for such luck in the present +condition of things. + +What I am mainly hoping for, is to save my royalties. If they come into +danger I hope you will cable me, so that I can come over and try to save +them, for if they go I am a beggar. + +I would sail to-day if I had anybody to take charge of my family and help +them through the difficult journeys commanded by the doctors. I may be +able to sail ten days hence; I hope so, and expect so. + +We can never resurrect the L. A. L. I would not spend any more money on +that book. You spoke, a while back, of trying to start it up again as a +preparation to disposing of it, but we are not in shape to venture that, +I think. It would require more borrowing, and we must not do that. + Yours Sincerely + S. L. C. + +Aug. 16. I have thought, and thought, but I don't seem to arrive in any +very definite place. Of course you will not have an instant's safety +until the bank debts are paid. There is nothing to be thought of but to +hand over every penny as fast as it comes in--and that will be slow +enough! Or could you secure them by pledging part of our cash assets +and-- + +I am coming over, just as soon as I can get the family moved and settled. + S. L. C. + + + Two weeks following this letter he could endure the suspense no + longer, and on August 29th sailed once more for America. In New + York, Clemens settled down at the Players Club, where he could live + cheaply, and undertook some literary work while he was casting about + for ways and means to relieve the financial situation. Nothing + promising occurred, until one night at the Murray Hill Hotel he was + introduced by Dr. Clarence C. Rice to Henry H. Rogers, of the + Standard Oil group of financiers. Rogers had a keen sense of humor + and had always been a great admirer of Mark Twain's work. It was a + mirthful evening, and certainly an eventful one in Mark Twain's + life. A day or two later Doctor Rice asked the millionaire to + interest himself a little in Clemens's business affairs, which he + thought a good deal confused. Just what happened is not remembered + now, but from the date of the next letter we realize that a + discussion of the matter by Clemens and Rogers must have followed + pretty promptly. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Europe: + + Oct. 18, '93. +DEAR, DEAR SWEETHEART,--I don't seem to get even half a chance to write +you, these last two days, and yet there's lots to say. + +Apparently everything is at last settled as to the giveaway of L. A. L., +and the papers will be signed and the transfer made to-morrow morning. + +Meantime I have got the best and wisest man in the whole Standard Oil +group of mufti-millionaires a good deal interested in looking into the +type-setter (this is private, don't mention it.) He has been searching +into that thing for three weeks, and yesterday he said to me, "I find the +machine to be all you represented it--I have here exhaustive reports from +my own experts, and I know every detail of its capacity, its immense +value, its construction, cost, history, and all about its inventor's +character. I know that the New York Co. and the Chicago Co. are both +stupid, and that they are unbusinesslike people, destitute of money and +in a hopeless boggle." + +Then he told me the scheme he had planned, then said: "If I can arrange +with these people on this basis--it will take several weeks to find out-- +I will see to it that they get the money they need. Then the thing will +move right along and your royalties will cease to be waste paper. I will +post you the minute my scheme fails or succeeds. In the meantime, you +stop walking the floor. Go off to the country and try to be gay. You +may have to go to walking again, but don't begin till I tell you my +scheme has failed." And he added: "Keep me posted always as to where you +are--for if I need you and can use you--I want to know where to put my +hand on you." + +If I should even divulge the fact that the Standard Oil is merely talking +remotely about going into the type-setter, it would send my royalties up. + +With worlds and worlds of love and kisses to you all, + SAML. + + +With so great a burden of care shifted to the broad financial shoulders +of H. H. Rogers, Mark Twain's spirits went ballooning, soaring toward the +stars. He awoke, too, to some of the social gaieties about him, and +found pleasure in the things that in the hour of his gloom had seemed +mainly mockery. We find him going to a Sunday evening at Howells's, to +John Mackay's, and elsewhere. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Dec. 2, '93. +LIVY DARLING,--Last night at John Mackay's the dinner consisted of soup, +raw oysters, corned beef and cabbage, and something like a custard. +I ate without fear or stint, and yet have escaped all suggestion of +indigestion. The men present were old gray Pacific-coasters whom I knew +when I and they were young and not gray. The talk was of the days when +we went gypsying a long time ago--thirty years. Indeed it was a talk of +the dead. Mainly that. And of how they looked, and the harum-scarum +things they did and said. For there were no cares in that life, no aches +and pains, and not time enough in the day (and three-fourths of the +night) to work off one's surplus vigor and energy. Of the mid-night +highway robbery joke played upon me with revolvers at my head on the +windswept and desolate Gold Hill Divide, no witness is left but me, the +victim. All the friendly robbers are gone. These old fools last night +laughed till they cried over the particulars of that old forgotten crime. + +John Mackay has no family here but a pet monkey--a most affectionate and +winning little devil. But he makes trouble for the servants, for he is +full of curiosity and likes to take everything out of the drawers and +examine it minutely; and he puts nothing back. The examinations of +yesterday count for nothing to-day--he makes a new examination every day. +But he injures nothing. + +I went with Laffan to the Racquet Club the other night and played, +billiards two hours without starting up any rheumatism. I suppose it was +all really taken out of me in Berlin. + +Richard Harding Davis spoke yesterday of Clara's impersonations at Mrs. +Van Rensselaer's here and said they were a wonderful piece of work. + +Livy dear, I do hope you are comfortable, as to quarters and food at the +Hotel Brighton. But if you're not don't stay there. Make one more +effort--don't give it up. Dear heart, this is from one who loves you-- +which is Saml. + + + It was decided that Rogers and Clemens should make a trip to Chicago + to investigate personally the type-setter situation there. Clemens + reports the details of the excursion to Mrs. Clemens in a long + subdivided letter, most of which has no general interest and is here + omitted. The trip, as a whole, would seem to have been + satisfactory. The personal portions of the long Christmas letter + may properly be preserved. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + THE PLAYERS, Xmas, 1893. + No. 1. +Merry Xmas, my darling, and all my darlings! I arrived from Chicago +close upon midnight last night, and wrote and sent down my Christmas +cablegram before undressing: "Merry Xmas! Promising progress made in +Chicago." It would get to the telegraph office toward 8 this morning and +reach you at luncheon. + +I was vaguely hoping, all the past week, that my Xmas cablegram would be +definite, and make you all jump with jubilation; but the thought always +intruded itself, "You are not going out there to negotiate with a man, +but with a louse. This makes results uncertain." + +I was asleep as Christmas struck upon the clock at mid night, and didn't +wake again till two hours ago. It is now half past 10 Xmas morning; I +have had my coffee and bread, and shan't get out of bed till it is time +to dress for Mrs. Laflan's Christmas dinner this evening--where I shall +meet Bram Stoker and must make sure about that photo with Irving's +autograph. I will get the picture and he will attend to the rest. In +order to remember and not forget--well, I will go there with my dress +coat wrong side out; it will cause remark and then I shall remember. + + + No. 2 and 3. +I tell you it was interesting! The Chicago campaign, I mean. On the way +out Mr. Rogers would plan out the campaign while I walked the floor and +smoked and assented. Then he would close it up with a snap and drop it +and we would totally change the subject and take up the scenery, etc. + +(Here follows the long detailed report of the Chicago conference, of +interest only to the parties directly concerned.) + + + No. 4. +We had nice tripe, going and coming. Mr. Rogers had telegraphed the +Pennsylvania Railroad for a couple of sections for us in the fast train +leaving at 2 p. m. the 22nd. The Vice President telegraphed back that +every berth was engaged (which was not true--it goes without saying) but +that he was sending his own car for us. It was mighty nice and +comfortable. In its parlor it had two sofas, which could become beds at +night. It had four comfortably-cushioned cane arm-chairs. It had a very +nice bedroom with a wide bed in it; which I said I would take because I +believed I was a little wider than Mr. Rogers--which turned out to be +true; so I took it. It had a darling back-porch--railed, roofed and +roomy; and there we sat, most of the time, and viewed the scenery and +talked, for the weather was May weather, and the soft dream-pictures of +hill and river and mountain and sky were clear and away beyond anything I +have ever seen for exquisiteness and daintiness. + +The colored waiter knew his business, and the colored cook was a finished +artist. Breakfasts: coffee with real cream; beefsteaks, sausage, bacon, +chops, eggs in various ways, potatoes in various--yes, and quite +wonderful baked potatoes, and hot as fire. Dinners--all manner of +things, including canvas-back duck, apollinaris, claret, champagne, etc. + +We sat up chatting till midnight, going and coming; seldom read a line, +day or night, though we were well fixed with magazines, etc.; then I +finished off with a hot Scotch and we went to bed and slept till 9.30a.m. +I honestly tried to pay my share of hotel bills, fees, etc., but I was +not allowed--and I knew the reason why, and respected the motive. I will +explain when I see you, and then you will understand. + +We were 25 hours going to Chicago; we were there 24 hours; we were 30 +hours returning. Brisk work, but all of it enjoyable. We insisted on +leaving the car at Philadelphia so that our waiter and cook (to whom Mr. +R. gave $10 apiece,) could have their Christmas-eve at home. + +Mr. Rogers's carriage was waiting for us in Jersey City and deposited me +at the Players. There--that's all. This letter is to make up for the +three letterless days. I love you, dear heart, I love you all. + SAML. + + + + +XXXIV + +LETTERS 1894. A WINTER IN NEW YORK. BUSINESS FAILURE. +END OF THE MACHINE + +The beginning of the new year found Mark Twain sailing buoyantly on a +tide of optimism. He believed that with H. H. Rogers as his financial +pilot he could weather safely any storm or stress. He could divert +himself, or rest, or work, and consider his business affairs with +interest and amusement, instead of with haggard anxiety. He ran over to +Hartford to see an amateur play; to Boston to give a charity reading; to +Fair Haven to open the library which Mr. Rogers had established there; he +attended gay dinners, receptions, and late studio parties, acquiring the +name of the "Belle of New York." In the letters that follow we get the +echo of some of these things. The Mrs. Rice mentioned in the next brief +letter was the wife of Dr. Clarence C. Rice, who had introduced +H. H. Rogers to Mark Twain. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Jan. 12, '94 +Livy darling, I came down from Hartford yesterday with Kipling, and he +and Hutton and I had the small smoking compartment to ourselves and found +him at last at his ease, and not shy. He was very pleasant company +indeed. He is to be in the city a week, and I wish I could invite him to +dinner, but it won't do. I should be interrupted by business, of course. +The construction of a contract that will suit Paige's lawyer (not Paige) +turns out to be very difficult. He is embarrassed by earlier advice to +Paige, and hates to retire from it and stultify himself. The +negotiations are being conducted, by means of tedious long telegrams and +by talks over the long-distance telephone. We keep the wires loaded. + +Dear me, dinner is ready. So Mrs. Rice says. + + With worlds of love, + SAML. + + +Clemens and Oliver Wendell Holmes had met and become friends soon after +the publication of Innocents Abroad, in 1869. Now, twenty-five years +later, we find a record of what without doubt was their last meeting. +It occurred at the home of Mrs. James T. Field. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + BOSTON, Jan. 25, '94. +Livy darling, I am caught out worse this time than ever before, in the +matter of letters. Tuesday morning I was smart enough to finish and mail +my long letter to you before breakfast--for I was suspecting that I would +not have another spare moment during the day. It turned out just so. + +In a thoughtless moment I agreed to come up here and read for the poor. +I did not reflect that it would cost me three days. I could not get +released. Yesterday I had myself called at 8 and ran out to Mr. Rogers's +house at 9, and talked business until half past 10; then caught 11 +o'clock train and arrived here at 6; was shaven and dressed by 7 and +ready for dinner here in Mrs. Field's charming house. + +Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes never goes out now (he is in his 84th year,) +but he came out this time-said he wanted to "have a time" once more with +me. + +Mrs. Fields said Aldrich begged to come and went away crying because she +wouldn't let him. She allowed only her family (Sarah Orne Jewett and +sister) to be present, because much company would overtax Dr. Holmes. + +Well, he was just delightful! He did as brilliant and beautiful talking +(and listening) as ever he did in his life, I guess. Fields and Jewett +said he hadn't been in such splendid form in years. He had ordered his +carriage for 9. + +The coachman sent in for him at 9; but he said, "Oh, nonsense!--leave +glories and grandeurs like these? Tell him to go away and come in an +hour!" + +At 10 he was called for again, and Mrs. Fields, getting uneasy, rose, but +he wouldn't go--and so we rattled ahead the same as ever. Twice more +Mrs. Fields rose, but he wouldn't go--and he didn't go till half past 10 +--an unwarrantable dissipation for him in these days. He was +prodigiously complimentary about some of my books, and is having +Pudd'nhead read to him. I told him you and I used the Autocrat as a +courting book and marked it all through, and that you keep it in the +sacred green box with the love letters, and it pleased him. + +Good-bye, my dear darling, it is 15 minutes to dinner and I'm not dressed +yet. I have a reception to-night and will be out very late at that place +and at Irving's Theatre where I have a complimentary box. I wish you +were all here. + SAML. + + + In the next letter we meet James J. Corbett--"Gentleman Jim," as he + was sometimes called--the champion pugilist of that day. + + The Howells incident so amusingly dramatized will perhaps be more + appreciated if the reader remembers that Mark Twain himself had at + intervals been a mind-healing enthusiast. Indeed, in spite of his + strictures on Mrs. Eddy, his interest in the subject of mind-cure + continued to the end of his life. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Sunday, 9.30 a. m. +Livy dear, when we got out to the house last night, Mrs. Rogers, who is +up and around, now, didn't want to go down stairs to dinner, but Mr. R. +persuaded her and we had a very good time indeed. By 8 o'clock we were +down again and bought a fifteen-dollar box in the Madison Square Garden +(Rogers bought it, not I,) then he went and fetched Dr. Rice while I +(went) to the Players and picked up two artists--Reid and Simmons--and +thus we filled 5 of the 6 seats. There was a vast multitude of people in +the brilliant place. Stanford White came along presently and invited me +to go to the World-Champion's dressing room, which I was very glad to do. +Corbett has a fine face and is modest and diffident, besides being the +most perfectly and beautifully constructed human animal in the world. +I said: + +"You have whipped Mitchell, and maybe you will whip Jackson in June--but +you are not done, then. You will have to tackle me." + +He answered, so gravely that one might easily have thought him in +earnest: + +"No--I am not going to meet you in the ring. It is not fair or right to +require it. You might chance to knock me out, by no merit of your own, +but by a purely accidental blow; and then my reputation would be gone and +you would have a double one. You have got fame enough and you ought not +to want to take mine away from me." + +Corbett was for a long time a clerk in the Nevada Bank in San Francisco. + +There were lots of little boxing matches, to entertain the crowd: then at +last Corbett appeared in the ring and the 8,000 people present went mad +with enthusiasm. My two artists went mad about his form. They said they +had never seen anything that came reasonably near equaling its perfection +except Greek statues, and they didn't surpass it. + +Corbett boxed 3 rounds with the middle-weight Australian champion--oh, +beautiful to see!--then the show was over and we struggled out through a +perfect wash of humanity. When we reached the street I found I had left +my arctics in the box. I had to have them, so Simmons said he would go +back and get them, and I didn't dissuade him. I couldn't see how he was +going to make his way a single yard into that solid oncoming wave of +people--yet he must plow through it full 50 yards. He was back with the +shoes in 3 minutes! + +How do you reckon he accomplished that miracle? By saying: + +"Way, gentlemen, please--coming to fetch Mr. Corbett's overshoes." + +The word flew from mouth to mouth, the Red Sea divided, and Simmons +walked comfortably through and back, dry shod. Simmons (this was +revealed to me under seal of secrecy by Reid) is the hero of "Gwen," and +he and Gwen's author were once engaged to marry. This is "fire-escape" +Simmons, the inveterate talker, you know: "Exit--in case of Simmons." + +I had an engagement at a beautiful dwelling close to the Players for +10.30; I was there by 10.45. Thirty cultivated and very musical ladies +and gentlemen present--all of them acquaintances and many of them +personal friends of mine. That wonderful Hungarian Band was there (they +charge $500 for an evening.) Conversation and Band until midnight; then a +bite of supper; then the company was compactly grouped before me and I +told about Dr. B. E. Martin and the etchings, and followed it with the +Scotch-Irish Christening. My, but the Martin is a darling story! Next, +the head tenor from the Opera sang half a dozen great songs that set the +company wild, yes, mad with delight, that nobly handsome young Damrosch +accompanying on the piano. + +Just a little pause--then the Band burst out into an explosion of weird +and tremendous dance music, a Hungarian celebrity and his wife took the +floor--I followed; I couldn't help it; the others drifted in, one by one, +and it was Onteora over again. + +By half past 4 I had danced all those people down--and yet was not tired; +merely breathless. I was in bed at 5, and asleep in ten minutes. Up at +9 and presently at work on this letter to you. I think I wrote until 2 +or half past. Then I walked leisurely out to Mr. Rogers's (it is called +3 miles but it is short of it) arriving at 3.30, but he was out-- +to return at 5.30--(and a person was in, whom I don't particularly like) +--so I didn't stay, but dropped over and chatted with the Howellses until +6. + +First, Howells and I had a chat together. I asked about Mrs. H. He said +she was fine, still steadily improving, and nearly back to her old best +health. I asked (as if I didn't know): + +"What do you attribute this strange miracle to?" + +"Mind-cure--simply mind-cure." + +"Lord, what a conversion! You were a scoffer three months ago." + +"I? I wasn't." + +"You were. You made elaborate fun of me in this very room." + +"I did not, Clemens." + +"It's a lie, Howells, you did." + +I detailed to him the conversation of that time--with the stately +argument furnished by Boyesen in the fact that a patient had actually +been killed by a mind-curist; and Howells's own smart remark that when +the mind-curist is done with you, you have to call in a "regular" at last +because the former can't procure you a burial permit. + +At last he gave in--he said he remembered that talk, but had now been a +mind-curist so long it was difficult for him to realize that he had ever +been anything else. + +Mrs. H. came skipping in, presently, the very person, to a dot, that she +used to be, so many years ago. + +Mrs. H. said: "People may call it what they like, but it is just +hypnotism, and that's all it is--hypnotism pure and simple. Mind-cure! +--the idea! Why, this woman that cured me hasn't got any mind. She's a +good creature, but she's dull and dumb and illiterate and--" + +"Now Eleanor!" + +"I know what I'm talking about!--don't I go there twice a week? And Mr. +Clemens, if you could only see her wooden and satisfied face when she +snubs me for forgetting myself and showing by a thoughtless remark that +to me weather is still weather, instead of being just an abstraction and +a superstition--oh, it's the funniest thing you ever saw! A-n-d-when she +tilts up her nose-well, it's--it's--Well it's that kind of a nose that--" + +"Now Eleanor!--the woman is not responsible for her nose--" and so-on and +so-on. It didn't seem to me that I had any right to be having this feast +and you not there. + +She convinced me before she got through, that she and William James are +right--hypnotism and mind-cure are the same thing; no difference between +them. Very well; the very source, the very center of hypnotism is Paris. +Dr. Charcot's pupils and disciples are right there and ready to your hand +without fetching poor dear old Susy across the stormy sea. Let Mrs. +Mackay (to whom I send my best respects, tell you whom to go to to learn +all you need to learn and how to proceed. Do, do it, honey. Don't lose +a minute . + +.....At 11 o'clock last night Mr. Rogers said: + +"I am able to feel physical fatigue--and I feel it now. You never show +any, either in your eyes or your movements; do you ever feel any?" + +I was able to say that I had forgotten what that feeling was like. Don't +you remember how almost impossible it was for me to tire myself at the +Villa? Well, it is just so in New York. I go to bed unfatigued at 3, +I get up fresh and fine six hours later. I believe I have taken only one +daylight nap since I have been here. + +When the anchor is down, then I shall say: + +"Farewell--a long farewell--to business! I will never touch it again!" + +I will live in literature, I will wallow in it, revel in it, I will swim +in ink! Joan of Arc--but all this is premature; the anchor is not down +yet. + +To-morrow (Tuesday) I will add a P. S. if I've any to add; but, whether +or no, I must mail this to morrow, for the mail steamer goes next day. + +5.30 p. m. Great Scott, this is Tuesday! I must rush this letter into +the mail instantly. + +Tell that sassy Ben I've got her welcome letter, and I'll write her as +soon as I get a daylight chance. I've most time at night, but I'd +druther write daytimes. + SAML. + + + The Reid and Simmons mentioned in the foregoing were Robert Reid and + Edward Simmons, distinguished painter--the latter a brilliant, + fluent, and industrious talker. The title; "Fire-escape Simmons," + which Clemens gives him, originated when Oliver Herford, whose + quaint wit has so long delighted New-Yorkers, one day pinned up by + the back door of the Players the notice: "Exit in case of Simmons." + Gwen, a popular novel of that day, was written by Blanche Willis + Howard. + + "Jamie" Dodge, in the next letter, was the son of Mrs. Mary Mapes + Dodge, editor of St. Nicholas. + + + To Clara Clemens, in Paris: + + MR. ROGERS'S OFFICE, Feb. 5, '94. +Dear Benny--I was intending to answer your letter to-day, but I am away +down town, and will simply whirl together a sentence or two for good- +fellowship. I have bought photographs of Coquelin and Jane Hading and +will ask them to sign them. I shall meet Coquelin tomorrow night, and if +Hading is not present I will send her picture to her by somebody. + +I am to breakfast with Madame Nordica in a few days, and meantime I hope +to get a good picture of her to sign. She was of the breakfast company +yesterday, but the picture of herself which she signed and gave me does +not do her majestic beauty justice. + +I am too busy to attend to the photo-collecting right, because I have to +live up to the name which Jamie Dodge has given me--the "Belle of New +York"--and it just keeps me rushing. Yesterday I had engagements to +breakfast at noon, dine at 3, and dine again at 7. I got away from the +long breakfast at 2 p. m., went and excused myself from the 3 o'clock +dinner, then lunched with Mrs. Dodge in 58th street, returned to the +Players and dressed, dined out at 9, and was back at Mrs. Dodge's at +10 p. m. where we had magic-lantern views of a superb sort, and a lot of +yarns until an hour after midnight, and got to bed at 2 this morning +--a good deal of a gain on my recent hours. But I don't get tired; I +sleep as sound as a dead person, and always wake up fresh and strong-- +usually at exactly 9. + +I was at breakfast lately where people of seven separate nationalities +sat and the seven languages were going all the time. At my side sat +a charming gentleman who was a delightful and active talker, and +interesting. He talked glibly to those folks in all those seven +languages and still had a language to spare! I wanted to kill him, for +very envy. + + I greet you with love and kisses. + PAPA. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Feb. --. +Livy dear, last night I played billiards with Mr. Rogers until 11, then +went to Robert Reid's studio and had a most delightful time until 4 this +morning. No ladies were invited this time. Among the people present +were-- + +Coquelin; +Richard Harding Davis; +Harrison, the great out-door painter; +Wm. H. Chase, the artist; +Bettini, inventor of the new phonograph. +Nikola Tesla, the world-wide illustrious electrician; see article about +him in Jan. or Feb. Century. +John Drew, actor; +James Barnes, a marvelous mimic; my, you should see him! +Smedley the artist; +Zorn the artist; +Zogbaum the artist; +Reinhart the artist; +Metcalf the artist; +Ancona, head tenor at the Opera; + +Oh, a great lot of others. Everybody there had done something and was in +his way famous. + +Somebody welcomed Coquelin in a nice little French speech; John Drew did +the like for me in English, and then the fun began. Coquelin did some +excellent French monologues--one of them an ungrammatical Englishman +telling a colorless historiette in French. It nearly killed the fifteen +or twenty people who understood it. + +I told a yarn, Ancona sang half a dozen songs, Barnes did his darling +imitations, Harding Davis sang the hanging of Danny Deever, which was of +course good, but he followed it with that most fascinating (for what +reason I don't know) of all Kipling's poems, "On the Road to Mandalay," +sang it tenderly, and it searched me deeper and charmed me more than the +Deever. + +Young Gerrit Smith played some ravishing dance music and we all danced +about an hour. There couldn't be a pleasanter night than that one was. +Some of those people complained of fatigue but I don't seem to know what +the sense of fatigue is. + +Coquelin talks quite good English now. He said: + +"I have a brother who has the fine mind--ah, a charming and delicate +fancy, and he knows your writings so well, and loves them--and that is +the same with me. It will stir him so when I write and tell him I have +seen you!" + +Wasn't that nice? We talked a good deal together. He is as winning as +his own face. But he wouldn't sign that photograph for Clara. "That? +No! She shall have a better one. I will send it to you." + +He is much driven, and will forget it, but Reid has promised to get the +picture for me, and I will try and keep him reminded. + +Oh, dear, my time is all used up and your letters are not answered. + +Mama, dear, I don't go everywhere--I decline most things. But there are +plenty that I can't well get out of. + +I will remember what you say and not make my yarning too common. + +I am so glad Susy has gone on that trip and that you are trying the +electric. May you both prosper. For you are mighty dear to me and in my +thoughts always. + SAML. + + + The affairs of the Webster Publishing Company were by this time + getting into a very serious condition indeed. The effects of the + panic of the year before could not be overcome. Creditors were + pressing their claims and profits were negligible. In the following + letter we get a Mark Twain estimate of the great financier who so + cheerfully was willing to undertake the solving of Mark Twain's + financial problems. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + THE PLAYERS, Feb. 15, '94. 11.30 p. m. +Livy darling, Yesterday I talked all my various matters over with Mr. +Rogers and we decided that it would be safe for me to leave here the 7th +of March, in the New York. So his private secretary, Miss Harrison, +wrote and ordered a berth for me and then I lost no time in cabling you +that I should reach Southampton March 14, and Paris the 15th. Land, but +it made my pulses leap, to think I was going to see you again!..... +One thing at a time. I never fully laid Webster's disastrous condition +before Mr. Rogers until to-night after billiards. I did hate to burden +his good heart and over-worked head with it, but he took hold with +avidity and said it was no burden to work for his friends, but a +pleasure. We discussed it from various standpoints, and found it a +sufficiently difficult problem to solve; but he thinks that after he has +slept upon it and thought it over he will know what to suggest. + +You must not think I am ever rude with Mr. Rogers, I am not. He is not +common clay, but fine--fine and delicate--and that sort do not call out +the coarsenesses that are in my sort. I am never afraid of wounding him; +I do not need to watch myself in that matter. The sight of him is peace. + +He wants to go to Japan--it is his dream; wants to go with me--which +means, the two families--and hear no more about business for awhile, and +have a rest. And he needs it. But it is like all the dreams of all busy +men--fated to remain dreams. + +You perceive that he is a pleasant text for me. It is easy to write +about him. When I arrived in September, lord how black the prospect was +--how desperate, how incurably desperate! Webster and Co had to have a +small sum of money or go under at once. I flew to Hartford--to my +friends--but they were not moved, not strongly interested, and I was +ashamed that I went. It was from Mr. Rogers, a stranger, that I got the +money and was by it saved. And then--while still a stranger--he set +himself the task of saving my financial life without putting upon me (in +his native delicacy) any sense that I was the recipient of a charity, +a benevolence--and he has accomplished that task; accomplished it at a +cost of three months of wearing and difficult labor. He gave that time +to me--time which could not be bought by any man at a hundred thousand +dollars a month--no, nor for three times the money. + +Well, in the midst of that great fight, that long and admirable fight, +George Warner came to me and said: + +"There is a splendid chance open to you. I know a man--a prominent man-- +who has written a book that will go like wildfire; a book that arraigns +the Standard Oil fiends, and gives them unmitigated hell, individual by +individual. It is the very book for you to publish; there is a fortune +in it, and I can put you in communication with the author." + +I wanted to say: + +"The only man I care for in the world; the only man I would give a damn +for; the only man who is lavishing his sweat and blood to save me and +mine from starvation and shame, is a Standard Oil fiend. If you know me, +you know whether I want the book or not." + +But I didn't say that. I said I didn't want any book; I wanted to get +out of the publishing business and out of all business, and was here for +that purpose and would accomplish it if I could. + +But there's enough. I shall be asleep by 3, and I don't need much sleep, +because I am never drowsy or tired these days. Dear, dear Susy my +strength reproaches me when I think of her and you, my darling. + + SAML. + + + But even so able a man as Henry Rogers could not accomplish the + impossible. The affairs of the Webster Company were hopeless, the + business was not worth saving. By Mr. Rogers's advice an assignment + was made April, 18, 1894. After its early spectacular success less + than ten years had brought the business to failure. The publication + of the Grant memoirs had been its only great achievement. + + Clemens would seem to have believed that the business would resume, + and for a time Rogers appears to have comforted him in his hope, but + we cannot believe that it long survived. Young Hall, who had made + such a struggle for its salvation, was eager to go on, but he must + presently have seen the futility of any effort in that direction. + + Of course the failure of Mark Twain's firm made a great stir in the + country, and it is easy to understand that loyal friends would rally + in his behalf. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + April 22, '94. +Dear old darling, we all think the creditors are going to allow us to +resume business; and if they do we shall pull through and pay the debts. +I am prodigiously glad we made an assignment. And also glad that we did +not make it sooner. Earlier we should have made a poor showing; but now +we shall make a good one. + +I meet flocks of people, and they all shake me cordially by the hand and +say "I was so sorry to hear of the assignment, but so glad you did it. +It was around, this long time, that the concern was tottering, and all +your friends were afraid you would delay the assignment too long." + +John Mackay called yesterday, and said, "Don't let it disturb you, Sam-- +we all have to do it, at one time or another; it's nothing to be ashamed +of." + +One stranger out in New York State sent me a dollar bill and thought he +would like to get up a dollar-subscription for me. And Poultney +Bigelow's note came promptly, with his check for $1,000. I had been +meeting him every day at the Club and liking him better and better all +the time. I couldn't take his money, of course, but I thanked him +cordially for his good will. + +Now and then a good and dear Joe Twichell or Susy Warner condoles with me +and says "Cheer up--don't be downhearted," and some other friend says, +"I am glad and surprised to see how cheerful you are and how bravely you +stand it"--and none of them suspect what a burden has been lifted from me +and how blithe I am inside. Except when I think of you, dear heart--then +I am not blithe; for I seem to see you grieving and ashamed, and dreading +to look people in the face. For in the thick of the fight there is +cheer, but you are far away and cannot hear the drums nor see the +wheeling squadrons. You only seem to see rout, retreat, and dishonored +colors dragging in the dirt--whereas none of these things exist. There +is temporary defeat, but no dishonor--and we will march again. Charley +Warner said to-day, "Sho, Livy isn't worrying. So long as she's got you +and the children she doesn't care what happens. She knows it isn't her +affair." Which didn't convince me. + +Good bye my darling, I love you and all of the kids--and you can tell +Clara I am not a spitting gray kitten. + SAML. + + + Clemens sailed for Europe as soon as his affairs would permit him to + go. He must get settled where he could work comfortably. Type- + setter prospects seemed promising, but meantime there was need of + funds. + + He began writing on the ship, as was his habit, and had completed + his article on Fenimore Cooper by the time he reached London. In + August we find him writing to Mr. Rogers from Etretat, a little + Norman watering-place. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + ETRETAT, (NORMANDIE) + CHALET DES ABRIS) + Aug. 25, '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I find the Madam ever so much better in health and +strength. The air is superb and soothing and wholesome, and the Chalet +is remote from noise and people, and just the place to write in. I shall +begin work this afternoon. + +Mrs. Clemens is in great spirits on, account of the benefit which she has +received from the electrical treatment in Paris and is bound to take it +up again and continue it all the winter, and of course I am perfectly +willing. She requires me to drop the lecture platform out of my mind and +go straight ahead with Joan until the book is finished. If I should have +to go home for even a week she means to go with me--won't consent to be +separated again--but she hopes I won't need to go. + +I tell her all right, "I won't go unless you send, and then I must." + +She keeps the accounts; and as she ciphers it we can't get crowded for +money for eight months yet. I didn't know that. But I don't know much +anyway. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The reader may remember that Clemens had written the first half of + his Joan of Arc book at the Villa Viviani, in Florence, nearly two + years before. He had closed the manuscript then with the taking of + Orleans, and was by no means sure that he would continue the story + beyond that point. Now, however, he was determined to reach the + tale's tragic conclusion. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + ETRETAT, + Sunday, Sept. 9, '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS, I drove the quill too hard, and I broke down--in my +head. It has now been three days since I laid up. When I wrote you a +week ago I had added 10,000 words or thereabout to Joan. Next day I +added 1,500 which was a proper enough day's work though not a full one; +but during Tuesday and Wednesday I stacked up an aggregate of 6,000 +words--and that was a very large mistake. My head hasn't been worth a +cent since. + +However, there's a compensation; for in those two days I reached and +passed--successfully--a point which I was solicitous about before I ever +began the book: viz., the battle of Patay. Because that would naturally +be the next to the last chapter of a work consisting of either two books +or one. In the one case one goes right along from that point (as I shall +do now); in the other he would add a wind-up chapter and make the book +consist of Joan's childhood and military career alone. + +I shall resume work to-day; and hereafter I will not go at such an +intemperate' rate. My head is pretty cobwebby yet. + +I am hoping that along about this time I shall hear that the machine is +beginning its test in the Herald office. I shall be very glad indeed to +know the result of it. I wish I could be there. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Rouen, where Joan met her martyrdom, was only a short distance away, + and they halted there en route to Paris, where they had arranged to + spend the winter. The health of Susy Clemens was not good, and they + lingered in Rouen while Clemens explored the old city and + incidentally did some writing of another sort. In a note to Mr. + Rogers he said: "To put in my odd time I am writing some articles + about Paul Bourget and his Outre-Mer chapters--laughing at them and + at some of our oracular owls who find them important. What the hell + makes them important, I should like to know!" + + He was still at Rouen two weeks later and had received encouraging + news from Rogers concerning the type-setter, which had been placed + for trial in the office of the Chicago Herald. Clemens wrote: "I + can hardly keep from sending a hurrah by cable. I would certainly + do it if I wasn't superstitious." His restraint, though wise, was + wasted the end was near. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + PARIS, Dec. 22; '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I seemed to be entirely expecting your letter, and also +prepared and resigned; but Lord, it shows how little we know ourselves +and how easily we can deceive ourselves. It hit me like a thunder-clap. +It knocked every rag of sense out of my head, and I went flying here and +there and yonder, not knowing what I was doing, and only one clearly +defined thought standing up visible and substantial out of the crazy +storm-drift that my dream of ten years was in desperate peril, and out of +the 60,000 or 90,000 projects for its rescue that came floating through +my skull, not one would hold still long enough for me to examine it and +size it up. Have you ever been like that? Not so much so, I reckon. + +There was another clearly defined idea--I must be there and see it die. +That is, if it must die; and maybe if I were there we might hatch up some +next-to-impossible way to make it take up its bed and take a walk. + +So, at the end of four hours I started, still whirling and walked over to +the rue Scribe-- 4 P. M.--and asked a question or two and was told I +should be running a big risk if I took the 9 P. M. train for London and +Southampton; "better come right along at 6.52 per Havre special and step +aboard the New York all easy and comfortable." Very! and I about two +miles from home, with no packing done. + +Then it occurred to me that none of these salvation-notions that were +whirl-winding through my head could be examined or made available unless +at least a month's time could be secured. So I cabled you, and said to +myself that I would take the French steamer tomorrow (which will be +Sunday). + +By bedtime Mrs. Clemens had reasoned me into a fairly rational and +contented state of mind; but of course it didn't last long. So I went on +thinking--mixing it with a smoke in the dressing room once an hour--until +dawn this morning. Result--a sane resolution; no matter what your answer +to my cable might be, I would hold still and not sail until I should get +an answer to this present letter which I am now writing, or a cable +answer from you saying "Come" or "Remain." + +I have slept 6 hours, my pond has clarified, and I find the sediment of +my 70,000 projects to be of this character: + +[Several pages of suggestions for reconstructing the machine follow.] + +Don't say I'm wild. For really I'm sane again this morning. + + ...................... + +I am going right along with Joan, now, and wait untroubled till I hear +from you. If you think I can be of the least use, cable me "Come." +I can write Joan on board ship and lose no time. Also I could discuss my +plan with the publisher for a deluxe Joan, time being an object, for some +of the pictures could be made over here cheaply and quickly, but would +cost much time and money in America. + + ...................... + +If the meeting should decide to quit business Jan. 4, I'd like to have +Stoker stopped from paying in any more money, if Miss Harrison doesn't +mind that disagreeable job. And I'll have to write them, too, of course. + With love, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The "Stoker" of this letter was Bram Stoker, long associated with + Sir Henry Irving. Irving himself had also taken stock in the + machine. The address, 169 Rue de l'Universite, whence these letters + are written, was the beautiful studio home of the artist Pomroy + which they had taken for the winter. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + PARIS, Dec. 27, '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--Notwithstanding your heart is "old and hard," you make +a body choke up. I know you "mean every word you say" and I do take it +"in the same spirit in which you tender it." I shall keep your regard +while we two live--that I know; for I shall always remember what you have +done for me, and that will insure me against ever doing anything that +could forfeit it or impair it. I am 59 years old; yet I never had a +friend before who put out a hand and tried to pull me ashore when he +found me in deep waters. + +It is six days or seven days ago that I lived through that despairing +day, and then through a night without sleep; then settled down next day +into my right mind (or thereabouts,) and wrote you. I put in the rest of +that day till 7 P. M. plenty comfortably enough writing a long chapter +of my book; then went to a masked ball blacked up as Uncle Remus, taking +Clara along; and we had a good time. I have lost no day since and +suffered no discomfort to speak of, but drove my troubles out of my mind +and had good success in keeping them out--through watchfulness. I have +done a good week's work and put the book a good way ahead in the Great +Trial, which is the difficult part which requires the most thought and +carefulness. I cannot see the end of the Trial yet, but I am on the +road. I am creeping surely toward it. + +"Why not leave them all to me." My business bothers? I take you by the +hand! I jump at the chance! + +I ought to be ashamed and I am trying my best to be ashamed--and yet I do +jump at the chance in spite of it. I don't want to write Irving and I +don't want to write Stoker. It doesn't seem as if I could. But I can +suggest something for you to write them; and then if you see that I am +unwise, you can write them something quite different. Now this is my +idea: + + 1. To return Stoker's $100 to him and keep his stock. + + 2. And tell Irving that when luck turns with me I will make good to + him what the salvage from the dead Co. fails to pay him of his $500. + + +P. S. Madam says No, I must face the music. So I enclose my effort to +be used if you approve, but not otherwise. + +There! Now if you will alter it to suit your judgment and bang away, I +shall be eternally obliged. + +We shall try to find a tenant for our Hartford house; not an easy matter, +for it costs heavily to live in. We can never live in it again; though +it would break the family's hearts if they could believe it. + +Nothing daunts Mrs. Clemens or makes the world look black to her--which +is the reason I haven't drowned myself. + +We all send our deepest and warmest greetings to you and all of yours and +a Happy New Year! + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +Enclosure: + +MY DEAR STOKER,--I am not dating this because it is not to be mailed at +present. + +When it reaches you it will mean that there is a hitch in my machine- +enterprise--a hitch so serious as to make it take to itself the aspect of +a dissolved dream. This letter, then, will contain cheque for the $100 +which you have paid. And will you tell Irving for me--I can't get up +courage enough to talk about this misfortune myself, except to you, whom +by good luck I haven't damaged yet that when the wreckage presently +floats ashore he will get a good deal of his $500 back; and a dab at a +time I will make up to him the rest. + +I'm not feeling as fine as I was when I saw you there in your home. +Please remember me kindly to Mrs. Stoker. I gave up that London lecture- +project entirely. Had to--there's never been a chance since to find the +time. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XXXV + +LETTERS, 1895-96, TO H. H. ROGERS AND OTHERS. FINISHING "JOAN OF ARC." +THE TRIP AROUND THE WORLD. DEATH OF SUSY CLEMENS + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + [No date.] +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--Yours of Dec. 21 has arrived, containing the circular +to stockholders and I guess the Co. will really quit--there doesn't seem +to be any other wise course. + +There's one thing which makes it difficult for me to soberly realize that +my ten year dream is actually dissolved; and that is, that it reveries my +horoscope. The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very +superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for +one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or +in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times +before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise. +When the "Pennsylvania" blew up and the telegraph reported my brother as +fatally injured (with 60 others) but made no mention of me, my uncle said +to my mother "It means that Sam was somewhere else, after being on that +boat a year and a half--he was born lucky." Yes, I was somewhere else. +I am so superstitious that I have always been afraid to have business +dealings with certain relatives and friends of mine because they were +unlucky people. All my life I have stumbled upon lucky chances of large +size, and whenever they were wasted it was because of my own stupidity +and carelessness. And so I have felt entirely certain that that machine +would turn up trumps eventually. It disappointed me lots of times, but I +couldn't shake off the confidence of a life-time in my luck. + +Well, whatever I get out of the wreckage will be due to good luck--the +good luck of getting you into the scheme--for, but for that, there +wouldn't be any wreckage; it would be total loss. + +I wish you had been in at the beginning. Then we should have had the +good luck to step promptly ashore. + +Miss Harrison has had a dream which promises me a large bank account, +and I want her to go ahead and dream it twice more, so as to make the +prediction sure to be fulfilled. + +I've got a first rate subject for a book. It kept me awake all night, +and I began it and completed it in my mind. The minute I finish Joan +I will take it up. + Love and Happy New Year to you all. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + This was about the end of the machine interests so far as Clemens + was concerned. Paige succeeded in getting some new people + interested, but nothing important happened, or that in any way + affected Mark Twain. Characteristically he put the whole matter + behind him and plunged into his work, facing comparative poverty and + a burden of debts with a stout heart. The beginning of the new year + found him really poorer in purse than he had ever been in his life, + but certainly not crushed, or even discouraged--at least, not + permanently--and never more industrious or capable. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + PARIS, Jan. 23, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--After I wrote you, two or three days ago I thought I +would make a holiday of the rest of the day--the second deliberate +holiday since I had the gout. On the first holiday I wrote a tale of +about 6,000 words, which was 3 days' work in one; and this time I did +8,000 before midnight. I got nothing out of that first holiday but the +recreation of it, for I condemned the work after careful reading and some +revision; but this time I fared better--I finished the Huck Finn tale +that lies in your safe, and am satisfied with it. + +The Bacheller syndicate (117 Tribune Building) want a story of 5,000 +words (lowest limit of their London agent) for $1,000 and offer to plank +the check on delivery, and it was partly to meet that demand that I took +that other holiday. So as I have no short story that suits me (and can't +and shan't make promises), the best I can do is to offer the longer one +which I finished on my second holiday--"Tom Sawyer, Detective." + +It makes 27 or 28,000 words, and is really written for grown folks, +though I expect young folk to read it, too. It transfers to the banks of +the Mississippi the incidents of a strange murder which was committed in +Sweden in old times. + +I'll refer applicants for a sight of the story to you or Miss Harrison.-- +[Secretary to Mr. Rogers.] + Yours sincerely, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + Apr. 29, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--Your felicitous delightful letter of the 15th arrived +three days ago, and brought great pleasure into the house. + +There is one thing that weighs heavily on Mrs. Clemens and me. That is +Brusnahan's money. If he is satisfied to have it invested in the Chicago +enterprise, well and good; if not, we would like to have the money paid +back to him. I will give him as many months to decide in as he pleases-- +let him name 6 or 10 or 12--and we will let the money stay where it is in +your hands till the time is up. Will Miss Harrison tell him so? I mean +if you approve. I would like him to have a good investment, but would +meantime prefer to protect him against loss. + +At 6 minutes past 7, yesterday evening, Joan of Arc was burned at the +stake. + +With the long strain gone, I am in a sort of physical collapse today, but +it will be gone tomorrow. I judged that this end of the book would be +hard work, and it turned out so. I have never done any work before that +cost so much thinking and weighing and measuring and planning and +cramming, or so much cautious and painstaking execution. For I wanted +the whole Rouen trial in, if it could be got in in such a way that the +reader's interest would not flag--in fact I wanted the reader's interest +to increase; and so I stuck to it with that determination in view--with +the result that I have left nothing out but unimportant repetitions. +Although it is mere history--history pure and simple--history stripped +naked of flowers, embroideries, colorings, exaggerations, invention--the +family agree that I have succeeded. It was a perilous thing to try in a +tale, but I never believed it a doubtful one--provided I stuck strictly +to business and didn't weaken and give up: or didn't get lazy and skimp +the work. The first two-thirds of the book were easy; for I only needed +to keep my historical road straight; therefore I used for reference only +one French history and one English one--and shoveled in as much fancy +work and invention on both sides of the historical road as I pleased. +But on this last third I have constantly used five French sources and +five English ones and I think no telling historical nugget in any of them +has escaped me. + +Possibly the book may not sell, but that is nothing--it was written for +love. + +There--I'm called to see company. The family seldom require this of me, +but they know I am not working today. + Yours sincerely, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + "Brusnahan," of the foregoing letter, was an employee of the New + York Herald, superintendent of the press-room--who had invested some + of his savings in the type-setter. + + In February Clemens returned to New York to look after matters + connected with his failure and to close arrangements for a reading- + tour around the world. He was nearly sixty years old, and time had + not lessened his loathing for the platform. More than once, + however, in earlier years, he had turned to it as a debt-payer, and + never yet had his burden been so great as now. He concluded + arrangements with Major Pond to take him as far as the Pacific + Coast, and with R. S. Smythe, of Australia, for the rest of the + tour. In April we find him once more back in Paris preparing to + bring the family to America, He had returned by way of London, + where he had visited Stanley the explorer--an old friend. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + Sunday, Apr.7,'95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--..... Stanley is magnificently housed in London, in a +grand mansion in the midst of the official world, right off Downing +Street and Whitehall. He had an extraordinary assemblage of brains and +fame there to meet me--thirty or forty (both sexes) at dinner, and more +than a hundred came in, after dinner. Kept it up till after midnight. +There were cabinet ministers, ambassadors, admirals, generals, canons, +Oxford professors, novelists, playwrights, poets, and a number of people +equipped with rank and brains. I told some yarns and made some speeches. +I promised to call on all those people next time I come to London, and +show them the wife and the daughters. If I were younger and very strong +I would dearly love to spend a season in London--provided I had no work +on hand, or no work more exacting than lecturing. I think I will lecture +there a month or two when I return from Australia. + +There were many delightful ladies in that company. One was the wife of +His Excellency Admiral Bridge, Commander-in Chief of the Australian +Station, and she said her husband was able to throw wide all doors to me +in that part of the world and would be glad to do it, and would yacht me +and my party around, and excursion us in his flag-ship and make us have a +great time; and she said she would write him we were coming, and we would +find him ready. I have a letter from her this morning enclosing a letter +of introduction to the Admiral. I already know the Admiral commanding in +the China Seas and have promised to look in on him out there. He sleeps +with my books under his pillow. P'raps it is the only way he can sleep. + +According to Mrs. Clemens's present plans--subject to modification, of +course--we sail in May; stay one day, or two days in New York, spend +June, July and August in Elmira and prepare my lectures; then lecture in +San Francisco and thereabouts during September and sail for Australia +before the middle of October and open the show there about the middle of +November. We don't take the girls along; it would be too expensive and +they are quite willing to remain behind anyway. + +Mrs. C. is feeling so well that she is not going to try the New York +doctor till we have gone around the world and robbed it and made the +finances a little easier. + With a power of love to you all, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + There would come moments of depression, of course, and a week later + he wrote: "I am tired to death all the time:" To a man of less + vitality, less vigor of mind and body, it is easy to believe that + under such circumstances this condition would have remained + permanent. But perhaps, after all, it was his comic outlook on + things in general that was his chief life-saver. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, Apr. 29, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I have been hidden an hour or two, reading proof of +Joan and now I think I am a lost child. I can't find anybody on the +place. The baggage has all disappeared, including the family. I reckon +that in the hurry and bustle of moving to the hotel they forgot me. But +it is no matter. It is peacefuller now than I have known it for days and +days and days. + +In these Joan proofs which I have been reading for the September Harper +I find a couple of tip-top platform readings--and I mean to read them on +our trip. If the authorship is known by then; and if it isn't, I will +reveal it. The fact is, there is more good platform-stuff in Joan than +in any previous book of mine, by a long sight. + +Yes, every danged member of the tribe has gone to the hotel and left me +lost. I wonder how they can be so careless with property. I have got to +try to get there by myself now. + +All the trunks are going over as luggage; then I've got to find somebody +on the dock who will agree to ship 6 of them to the Hartford Customhouse. +If it is difficult I will dump them into the river. It is very careless +of Mrs. Clemens to trust trunks and things to me. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + By the latter part of May they were at Quarry Farm, and Clemens, + laid up there with a carbuncle, was preparing for his long tour. + The outlook was not a pleasant one. To Mr. Rogers he wrote: "I + sha'n't be able to stand on the platform before we start west. I + sha'n't get a single chance to practice my reading; but will have to + appear in Cleveland without the essential preparation. Nothing in + this world can save it from being a shabby, poor disgusting + performance. I've got to stand; I can't do it and talk to a house, + and how in the nation am I going to sit? Land of Goshen, it's this + night week! Pray for me." + + The opening at Cleveland July 15th appears not to have been much of + a success, though from another reason, one that doubtless seemed + amusing to him later. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + (Forenoon) + CLEVELAND, July 16, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,-- Had a roaring success at the Elmira reformatory Sunday +night. But here, last night, I suffered defeat--There were a couple of +hundred little boys behind me on the stage, on a lofty tier of benches +which made them the most conspicuous objects in the house. And there was +nobody to watch them or keep them quiet. Why, with their scufflings and +horse-play and noise, it was just a menagerie. Besides, a concert of +amateurs had been smuggled into the program (to precede me,) and their +families and friends (say ten per cent of the audience) kept encoring +them and they always responded. So it was 20 minutes to 9 before I got +the platform in front of those 2,600 people who had paid a dollar apiece +for a chance to go to hell in this fashion. + +I got started magnificently, but inside of half an hour the scuffling +boys had the audience's maddened attention and I saw it was a gone case; +so I skipped a third of my program and quit. The newspapers are kind, +but between you and me it was a defeat. There ain't going to be any more +concerts at my lectures. I care nothing for this defeat, because it was +not my fault. My first half hour showed that I had the house, and I +could have kept it if I hadn't been so handicapped. + Yours sincerely, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +P. S. Had a satisfactory time at Petoskey. Crammed the house and turned +away a crowd. We had $548 in the house, which was $300 more than it had +ever had in it before. I believe I don't care to have a talk go off +better than that one did. + + + Mark Twain, on this long tour, was accompanied by his wife and his + daughter Clara--Susy and Jean Clemens remaining with their aunt at + Quarry Farm. The tour was a financial success from the start. + By the time they were ready to sail from Vancouver five thousand + dollars had been remitted to Mr. Rogers against that day of + settlement when the debts of Webster & Co. were to be paid. Perhaps + it should be stated here that a legal settlement had been arranged + on a basis of fifty cents on the dollar, but neither Clemens nor his + wife consented to this as final. They would pay in full. + + They sailed from Vancouver August 23, 1895. About the only letter + of this time is an amusing note to Rudyard Kipling, written at the + moment of departure. + + + To Rudyard Kipling, in England: + + August, 1895. +DEAR KIPLING,--It is reported that you are about to visit India. This +has moved me to journey to that far country in order that I may unload +from my conscience a debt long due to you. Years ago you came from India +to Elmira to visit me, as you said at the time. It has always been my +purpose to return that visit and that great compliment some day. I shall +arrive next January and you must be ready. I shall come riding my ayah +with his tusks adorned with silver bells and ribbons and escorted by a +troop of native howdahs richly clad and mounted upon a herd of wild +bungalows; and you must be on hand with a few bottles of ghee, for I +shall be thirsty. + Affectionately, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens, platforming in Australia, was too busy to write letters. + Everywhere he was welcomed by great audiences, and everywhere + lavishly entertained. He was beset by other carbuncles, but would + seem not to have been seriously delayed by them. A letter to his + old friend Twichell carries the story. + + + To Rev. Jos. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + FRANK MOELLER'S MASONIC HOTEL, + NAPIER, NEW ZEALAND, + November 29, '95. +DEAR JOE,--Your welcome letter of two months and five days ago has just +arrived, and finds me in bed with another carbuncle. It is No. 3. Not a +serious one this time. I lectured last night without inconvenience, but +the doctors thought best to forbid to-night's lecture. My second one +kept me in bed a week in Melbourne. + +.....We are all glad it is you who is to write the article, it delights +us all through. + +I think it was a good stroke of luck that knocked me on my back here at +Napier, instead of some hotel in the centre of a noisy city. Here we +have the smooth and placidly-complaining sea at our door, with nothing +between us and it but 20 yards of shingle--and hardly a suggestion of +life in that space to mar it or make a noise. Away down here fifty-five +degrees south of the Equator this sea seems to murmur in an unfamiliar +tongue--a foreign tongue--tongue bred among the ice-fields of the +Antarctic--a murmur with a note of melancholy in it proper to the vast +unvisited solitudes it has come from. It was very delicious and solacing +to wake in the night and find it still pulsing there. I wish you were +here--land, but it would be fine! + +Livy and Clara enjoy this nomadic life pretty well; certainly better than +one could have expected they would. They have tough experiences, in the +way of food and beds and frantic little ships, but they put up with the +worst that befalls with heroic endurance that resembles contentment. + +No doubt I shall be on the platform next Monday. A week later we shall +reach Wellington; talk there 3 nights, then sail back to Australia. We +sailed for New Zealand October 30. + +Day before yesterday was Livy's birthday (under world time), and tomorrow +will be mine. I shall be 60--no thanks for it. + +I and the others send worlds and worlds of love to all you dear ones. + + MARK. + + + The article mentioned in the foregoing letter was one which Twichell + had been engaged by Harper's Magazine to write concerning the home + life and characteristics of Mark Twain. By the time the Clemens + party had completed their tour of India--a splendid, triumphant + tour, too full of work and recreation for letter-writing--and had + reached South Africa, the article had appeared, a satisfactory one, + if we may judge by Mark Twain's next. + + This letter, however, has a special interest in the account it gives + of Mark Twain's visit to the Jameson raiders, then imprisoned at + Pretoria. + + + To Rev. Jos. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICAN REPUBLIC, + The Queen's Birthday, '96. + (May 24) +DEAR OLD JOE,--Harper for May was given to me yesterday in Johannesburg +by an American lady who lives there, and I read your article on me while +coming up in the train with her and an old friend and fellow-Missourian +of mine, Mrs. John Hays Hammond, the handsome and spirited wife of the +chief of the 4 Reformers, who lies in prison here under a 15-year +sentence, along with 50 minor Reformers who are in for 1 and 5-year +terms. Thank you a thousand times Joe, you have praised me away above my +deserts, but I am not the man to quarrel with you for that; and as for +Livy, she will take your very hardiest statements at par, and be grateful +to you to the bottom of her heart. Between you and Punch and Brander +Matthews, I am like to have my opinion of myself raised sufficiently +high; and I guess the children will be after you, for it is the study of +their lives to keep my self-appreciation down somewhere within bounds. + +I had a note from Mrs. Rev. Gray (nee Tyler) yesterday, and called on her +to-day. She is well. + +Yesterday I was allowed to enter the prison with Mrs. Hammond. A Boer +guard was at my elbow all the time, but was courteous and polite, only +he barred the way in the compound (quadrangle or big open court) and +wouldn't let me cross a white mark that was on the ground--the "death- +line" one of the prisoners called it. Not in earnest, though, I think. +I found that I had met Hammond once when he was a Yale senior and a guest +of Gen. Franklin's. I also found that I had known Capt. Mein intimately +32 years ago. One of the English prisoners had heard me lecture in +London 23 years ago. After being introduced in turn to all the +prisoners, I was allowed to see some of the cells and examine their food, +beds, etc. I was told in Johannesburg that Hammond's salary of $150,000 +a year is not stopped, and that the salaries of some of the others are +still continued. Hammond was looking very well indeed, and I can say the +same of all the others. When the trouble first fell upon them it hit +some of them very hard; several fell sick (Hammond among them), two or +three had to be removed to the hospital, and one of the favorites lost +his mind and killed himself, poor fellow, last week. His funeral, with a +sorrowing following of 10,000, took the place of the public demonstration +the Americans were getting up for me. + +These prisoners are strong men, prominent men, and I believe they are all +educated men. They are well off; some of them are wealthy. They have a +lot of books to read, they play games and smoke, and for awhile they will +be able to bear up in their captivity; but not for long, not for very +long, I take it. I am told they have times of deadly brooding and +depression. I made them a speech--sitting down. It just happened so. +I don't prefer that attitude. Still, it has one advantage--it is only a +talk, it doesn't take the form of a speech. I have tried it once before +on this trip. However, if a body wants to make sure of having "liberty," +and feeling at home, he had better stand up, of course. I advised them +at considerable length to stay where they were--they would get used to it +and like it presently; if they got out they would only get in again +somewhere else, by the look of their countenances; and I promised to go +and see the President and do what I could to get him to double their +jail-terms. + +We had a very good sociable time till the permitted time was up and a +little over, and we outsiders had to go. I went again to-day, but the +Rev. Mr. Gray had just arrived, and the warden, a genial, elderly Boer +named Du Plessis--explained that his orders wouldn't allow him to admit +saint and sinner at the same time, particularly on a Sunday. Du Plessis +--descended from the Huguenot fugitives, you see, of 200 years ago-- +but he hasn't any French left in him now--all Dutch. + +It gravels me to think what a goose I was to make Livy and Clara remain +in Durban; but I wanted to save them the 30-hour railway trip to +Johannesburg. And Durban and its climate and opulent foliage were so +lovely, and the friends there were so choice and so hearty that I +sacrificed myself in their interests, as I thought. It is just the +beginning of winter, and although the days are hot, the nights are cool. +But it's lovely weather in these regions, too; and the friends are as +lovely as the weather, and Johannesburg and Pretoria are brimming with +interest. I talk here twice more, then return to Johannesburg next +Wednesday for a fifth talk there; then to the Orange Free State capital, +then to some town on the way to Port Elizabeth, where the two will join +us by sea from Durban; then the gang will go to Kimberley and presently +to the Cape--and so, in the course of time, we shall get through and sail +for England; and then we will hunt up a quiet village and I will write +and Livy edit, for a few months, while Clara and Susy and Jean study +music and things in London. + +We have had noble good times everywhere and every day, from Cleveland, +July 15, to Pretoria, May 24, and never a dull day either on sea or land, +notwithstanding the carbuncles and things. Even when I was laid up 10 +days at Jeypore in India we had the charmingest times with English +friends. All over India the English well, you will never know how good +and fine they are till you see them. + +Midnight and after! and I must do many things to-day, and lecture +tonight. + +A world of thanks to you, Joe dear, and a world of love to all of you. + + MARK. + + + Perhaps for readers of a later day a word as to what constituted the + Jameson raid would not be out of place here. Dr. Leander Starr + Jameson was an English physician, located at Kimberley. President + Kruger (Oom Paul), head of the South African Republic, was one of + his patients; also, Lobengula, the Matabele chief. From Lobengula + concessions were obtained which led to the formation of the South + African Company. Jameson gave up his profession and went in for + conquest, associating himself with the projects of Cecil Rhodes. + In time he became administrator of Rhodesia. By the end of 1894. + he was in high feather, and during a visit to England was feted as + a sort of romantic conqueror of the olden time. Perhaps this turned + his head; at all events at the end of 1895 came the startling news + that "Dr. Jim," as he was called, at the head of six hundred men, + had ridden into the Transvaal in support of a Rhodes scheme for an + uprising at Johannesburg. The raid was a failure. Jameson, and + those other knights of adventure, were captured by the forces of + "Oom Paul," and some of them barely escaped execution. The Boer + president handed them over to the English Government for punishment, + and they received varying sentences, but all were eventually + released. Jameson, later, became again prominent in South-African + politics, but there is no record of any further raids. + + ......................... + + The Clemens party sailed from South Africa the middle of July, 1896, + and on the last day of the month reached England. They had not + planned to return to America, but to spend the winter in or near + London in some quiet place where Clemens could write the book of his + travels. + + The two daughters in America, Susy and Jean, were expected to arrive + August 12th, but on that day there came, instead, a letter saying + that Susy Clemens was not well enough to sail. A cable inquiry was + immediately sent, but the reply when it came was not satisfactory, + and Mrs. Clemens and Clara sailed for America without further delay. + This was on August 15th. Three days later, in the old home at + Hartford, Susy Clemens died of cerebral fever. She had been + visiting Mrs. Charles Dudley Warner, but by the physician's advice + had been removed to the comfort and quiet of her own home, only a + few steps away. + + Mark Twain, returning from his triumphant tour of the world in the + hope that soon, now, he might be free from debt, with his family + happily gathered about him, had to face alone this cruel blow. + There was no purpose in his going to America; Susy would be buried + long before his arrival. He awaited in England the return of his + broken family. They lived that winter in a quiet corner of Chelsea, + No. 23 Tedworth Square. + + + To Rev. Joseph H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn.: + + Permanent address: + % CHATTO & WINDUS + 111 T. MARTIN'S LANE, LONDON, + Sept. 27, '96. +Through Livy and Katy I have learned, dear old Joe, how loyally you stood +poor Susy's friend, and mine, and Livy's: how you came all the way down, +twice, from your summer refuge on your merciful errands to bring the +peace and comfort of your beloved presence, first to that poor child, and +again to the broken heart of her poor desolate mother. It was like you; +like your good great heart, like your matchless and unmatchable self. +It was no surprise to me to learn that you stayed by Susy long hours, +careless of fatigue and heat, it was no surprise to me to learn that you +could still the storms that swept her spirit when no other could; for she +loved you, revered you, trusted you, and "Uncle Joe" was no empty phrase +upon her lips! I am grateful to you, Joe, grateful to the bottom of my +heart, which has always been filled with love for you, and respect and +admiration; and I would have chosen you out of all the world to take my +place at Susy's side and Livy's in those black hours. + +Susy was a rare creature; the rarest that has been reared in Hartford in +this generation. And Livy knew it, and you knew it, and Charley Warner +and George, and Harmony, and the Hillyers and the Dunhams and the +Cheneys, and Susy and Lilly, and the Bunces, and Henry Robinson and Dick +Burton, and perhaps others. And I also was of the number, but not in the +same degree--for she was above my duller comprehension. I merely knew +that she was my superior in fineness of mind, in the delicacy and +subtlety of her intellect, but to fully measure her I was not competent. +I know her better now; for I have read her private writings and sounded +the deeps of her mind; and I know better, now, the treasure that was mine +than I knew it when I had it. But I have this consolation: that dull as +I was, I always knew enough to be proud when she commended me or my work +--as proud as if Livy had done it herself--and I took it as the accolade +from the hand of genius. I see now--as Livy always saw--that she had +greatness in her; and that she herself was dimly conscious of it. + +And now she is dead--and I can never tell her. + +God bless you Joe--and all of your house. + S. L. C. + + + To Mr. Henry C. Robinson, Hartford, Conn.: + + LONDON, Sept. 28, '96. +It is as you say, dear old friend, "the pathos of it" yes, it was a +piteous thing--as piteous a tragedy as any the year can furnish. When we +started westward upon our long trip at half past ten at night, July 14, +1895, at Elmira, Susy stood on the platform in the blaze of the electric +light waving her good-byes to us as the train glided away, her mother +throwing back kisses and watching her through her tears. One year, one +month, and one week later, Clara and her mother having exactly completed +the circuit of the globe, drew up at that platform at the same hour of +the night, in the same train and the same car--and again Susy had come a +journey and was near at hand to meet them. She was waiting in the house +she was born in, in her coffin. + +All the circumstances of this death were pathetic--my brain is worn to +rags rehearsing them. The mere death would have been cruelty enough, +without overloading it and emphasizing it with that score of harsh and +wanton details. The child was taken away when her mother was within +three days of her, and would have given three decades for sight of her. + +In my despair and unassuageable misery I upbraid myself for ever parting +with her. But there is no use in that. Since it was to happen it would +have happened. + With love + S. L. C. + + + The life at Tedworth Square that winter was one of almost complete + privacy. Of the hundreds of friends which Mark Twain had in London + scarcely half a dozen knew his address. He worked steadily on his + book of travels, 'Following the Equator', and wrote few letters + beyond business communications to Mr. Rogers. In one of these he + said, "I am appalled! Here I am trying to load you up with work + again after you have been dray-horsing over the same tiresome ground + for a year. It's too bad, and I am ashamed of it." + + But late in November he sent a letter of a different sort--one that + was to have an important bearing on the life of a girl today of + unique and world-wide distinction. + + + To Mrs. H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + +For and in behalf of Helen Keller, +stone blind and deaf, and formerly dumb. + +DEAR MRS. ROGERS,--Experience has convinced me that when one wishes to +set a hard-worked man at something which he mightn't prefer to be +bothered with, it is best to move upon him behind his wife. If she can't +convince him it isn't worth while for other people to try. + +Mr. Rogers will remember our visit with that astonishing girl at Lawrence +Hutton's house when she was fourteen years old. Last July, in Boston, +when she was 16 she underwent the Harvard examination for admission to +Radcliffe College. She passed without a single condition. She was +allowed the same amount of time that is granted to other applicants, and +this was shortened in her case by the fact that the question papers had +to be read to her. Yet she scored an average of 90 as against an average +of 78 on the part of the other applicants. + +It won't do for America to allow this marvelous child to retire from her +studies because of poverty. If she can go on with them she will make a +fame that will endure in history for centuries. Along her special lines +she is the most extraordinary product of all the ages. + +There is danger that she must retire from the struggle for a College +degree for lack of support for herself and for Miss Sullivan, (the +teacher who has been with her from the start--Mr. Rogers will remember +her.) Mrs. Hutton writes to ask me to interest rich Englishmen in her +case, and I would gladly try, but my secluded life will not permit it. +I see nobody. Nobody knows my address. Nothing but the strictest hiding +can enable me to write my long book in time. + +So I thought of this scheme: Beg you to lay siege to your husband and get +him to interest himself and Mess. John D. and William Rockefeller and the +other Standard Oil chiefs in Helen's case; get them to subscribe an +annual aggregate of six or seven hundred or a thousand dollars--and agree +to continue this for three or four years, until she has completed her +college course. I'm not trying to limit their generosity--indeed no, +they may pile that Standard Oil, Helen Keller College Fund as high as +they please, they have my consent. + +Mrs. Hutton's idea is to raise a permanent fund the interest upon which +shall support Helen and her teacher and put them out of the fear of want. +I shan't say a word against it, but she will find it a difficult and +disheartening job, and meanwhile what is to become of that miraculous +girl? + +No, for immediate and sound effectiveness, the thing is for you to plead +with Mr. Rogers for this hampered wonder of your sex, and send him +clothed with plenary powers to plead with the other chiefs--they have +spent mountains of money upon the worthiest benevolences, and I think +that the same spirit which moved them to put their hands down through +their hearts into their pockets in those cases will answer "Here!" when +its name is called in this one. 638 + +There--I don't need to apologize to you or to H. H. for this appeal that +I am making; I know you too well for that. + +Good-bye with love to all of you + S. L. CLEMENS. + +Laurence Hutton is on the staff of Harper's Monthly--close by, and handy +when wanted. + + + The plea was not made in vain. Mr. and Mrs. Rogers interested + themselves most liberally in Helen Keller's fortune, and certainly + no one can say that any of those who contributed to her success ever + had reason for disappointment. + + In his letter of grateful acknowledgment, which follows, Clemens + also takes occasion to thank Mr. Rogers for his further efforts in + the matter of his own difficulties. This particular reference + concerns the publishing, complications which by this time had arisen + between the American Publishing Company, of Hartford, and the house + in Franklin Square. + + + LONDON, Dec. 22, '96. +DEAR MRS. ROGERS,--It is superb! And I am beyond measure grateful to you +both. I knew you would be interested in that wonderful girl, and that +Mr. Rogers was already interested in her and touched by her; and I was +sure that if nobody else helped her you two would; but you have gone far +and away beyond the sum I expected--may your lines fall in pleasant +places here and Hereafter for it! + +The Huttons are as glad and grateful as they can be, and I am glad for +their sakes as well as for Helen's. + +I want to thank Mr. Rogers for crucifying himself again on the same old +cross between Bliss and Harper; and goodness knows I hope he will come to +enjoy it above all other dissipations yet, seeing that it has about it +the elements of stability and permanency. However, at any time that he +says sign, we're going to do it. + Ever sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XXXVI + +LETTERS 1897. LONDON, SWITZERLAND, VIENNA + +Mark Twain worked steadily on his book that sad winter and managed to +keep the gloom out of his chapters, though it is noticeable that +'Following the Equator' is more serious than his other books of travel. +He wrote few letters, and these only to his three closest friends, +Howells, Twichell, and Rogers. In the letter to Twichell, which follows, +there is mention of two unfinished manuscripts which he expects to +resume. One of these was a dream story, enthusiastically begun, but +perhaps with insufficient plot to carry it through, for it never reached +conclusion. He had already tried it in one or two forms and would begin +it again presently. The identity of the other tale is uncertain. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LONDON, Jan. 19, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Do I want you to write to me? Indeed I do. I do not want +most people to write, but I do want you to do it. The others break my +heart, but you will not. You have a something divine in you that is not +in other men,. You have the touch that heals, not lacerates. And you +know the secret places of our hearts. You know our life--the outside of +it--as the others do--and the inside of it--which they do not. You have +seen our whole voyage. You have seen us go to sea, a cloud of sail--and +the flag at the peak; and you see us now, chartless, adrift--derelicts; +battered, water-logged, our sails a ruck of rags, our pride gone. For it +is gone. And there is nothing in its place. The vanity of life was all +we had, and there is no more vanity left in us. We are even ashamed of +that we had; ashamed that we trusted the promises of life and builded +high--to come to this! + +I did know that Susy was part of us; I did not know that she could go +away; I did not know that she could go away, and take our lives with her, +yet leave our dull bodies behind. And I did not know what she was. To +me she was but treasure in the bank; the amount known, the need to look +at it daily, handle it, weigh it, count it, realize it, not necessary; +and now that I would do it, it is too late; they tell me it is not there, +has vanished away in a night, the bank is broken, my fortune is gone, I +am a pauper. How am I to comprehend this? How am I to have it? Why am +I robbed, and who is benefited? + +Ah, well, Susy died at home. She had that privilege. Her dying eyes +rested upon nothing that was strange to them, but only upon things which +they had known and loved always and which had made her young years glad; +and she had you, and Sue, and Katy, and John, and Ellen. This was happy +fortune--I am thankful that it was vouchsafed to her. If she had died in +another house-well, I think I could not have borne that. To us, our +house was not unsentient matter--it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to +see us with; and approvals, and solicitudes, and deep sympathies; it was +of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the +peace of its benediction. We never came home from an absence that its +face did not light up and speak out its eloquent welcome--and we could +not enter it unmoved. And could we now, oh, now, in spirit we should +enter it unshod. + +I am trying to add to the "assets" which you estimate so generously. +No, I am not. The thought is not in my mind. My purpose is other. I am +working, but it is for the sake of the work--the "surcease of sorrow" +that is found there. I work all the days, and trouble vanishes away when +I use that magic. This book will not long stand between it and me, now; +but that is no matter, I have many unwritten books to fly to for my +preservation; the interval between the finishing of this one and the +beginning of the next will not be more than an hour, at most. +Continuances, I mean; for two of them are already well along--in fact +have reached exactly the same stage in their journey: 19,000 words each. +The present one will contain 180,000 words--130,000 are done. I am well +protected; but Livy! She has nothing in the world to turn to; nothing +but housekeeping, and doing things for the children and me. She does not +see people, and cannot; books have lost their interest for her. She sits +solitary; and all the day, and all the days, wonders how it all happened, +and why. We others were always busy with our affairs, but Susy was her +comrade--had to be driven from her loving persecutions--sometimes at 1 in +the morning. To Livy the persecutions were welcome. It was heaven to +her to be plagued like that. But it is ended now. Livy stands so in +need of help; and none among us all could help her like you. + +Some day you and I will walk again, Joe, and talk. I hope so. We could +have such talks! We are all grateful to you and Harmony--how grateful it +is not given to us to say in words. We pay as we can, in love; and in +this coin practicing no economy. + Good bye, dear old Joe! + MARK. + + + The letters to Mr. Rogers were, for the most part, on matters of + business, but in one of them he said: "I am going to write with all + my might on this book, and follow it up with others as fast as I can + in the hope that within three years I can clear out the stuff that + is in me waiting to be written, and that I shall then die in the + promptest kind of a way and no fooling around." And in one he + wrote: "You are the best friend ever a man had, and the surest." + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York + + LONDON, Feb. 23, '97. +DEAR HOWELLS,-I find your generous article in the Weekly, and I want to +thank you for its splendid praises, so daringly uttered and so warmly. +The words stir the dead heart of me, and throw a glow of color into a +life which sometimes seems to have grown wholly wan. I don't mean that I +am miserable; no--worse than that--indifferent. Indifferent to nearly +everything but work. I like that; I enjoy it, and stick to it. I do it +without purpose and without ambition; merely for the love of it. + +This mood will pass, some day--there is history for it. But it cannot +pass until my wife comes up out of the submergence. She was always so +quick to recover herself before, but now there is no rebound, and we are +dead people who go through the motions of life. Indeed I am a mud image, +and it will puzzle me to know what it is in me that writes, and has +comedy-fancies and finds pleasure in phrasing them. It is a law of our +nature, of course, or it wouldn't happen; the thing in me forgets the +presence of the mud image and goes its own way, wholly unconscious of it +and apparently of no kinship with it. I have finished my book, but I go +on as if the end were indefinitely away--as indeed it is. There is no +hurry--at any rate there is no limit. + +Jean's spirits are good; Clara's are rising. They have youth--the only +thing that was worth giving to the race. + +These are sardonic times. Look at Greece, and that whole shabby muddle. +But I am not sorry to be alive and privileged to look on. If I were not +a hermit I would go to the House every day and see those people scuffle +over it and blether about the brotherhood of the human race. This has +been a bitter year for English pride, and I don't like to see England +humbled--that is, not too much. We are sprung from her loins, and it +hurts me. I am for republics, and she is the only comrade we've got, in +that. We can't count France, and there is hardly enough of Switzerland +to count. Beneath the governing crust England is sound-hearted--and +sincere, too, and nearly straight. But I am appalled to notice that the +wide extension of the surface has damaged her manners, and made her +rather Americanly uncourteous on the lower levels. + +Won't you give our love to the Howellses all and particular? + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The travel-book did not finish easily, and more than once when he + thought it completed he found it necessary to cut and add and + change. The final chapters were not sent to the printer until the + middle of May, and in a letter to Mr. Rogers he commented: "A + successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out + of it." Clemens was at the time contemplating a uniform edition of + his books, and in one of his letters to Mr. Rogers on the matter he + wrote, whimsically, "Now I was proposing to make a thousand sets at + a hundred dollars a set, and do the whole canvassing myself..... I + would load up every important jail and saloon in America with de + luxe editions of my books. But Mrs. Clemens and the children object + to this, I do not know why." And, in a moment of depression: "You + see the lightning refuses to strike me--there is where the defect + is. We have to do our own striking as Barney Barnato did. But + nobody ever gets the courage until he goes crazy." + + They went to Switzerland for the summer to the village of Weggis, on + Lake Lucerne--"The charmingest place we ever lived in," he declared, + "for repose, and restfulness, and superb scenery." It was here that + he began work on a new story of Tom and Huck, and at least upon one + other manuscript. From a brief note to Mr. Rogers we learn + something of his employments and economies. + + + To Henry H. Rogers, in New York: + + LUCERNE, August the something or other, 1897. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,-- I am writing a novel, and am getting along very well +with it. + +I believe that this place (Weggis, half an hour from Lucerne,) is the +loveliest in the world, and the most satisfactory. We have a small house +on the hillside all to ourselves, and our meals are served in it from the +inn below on the lake shore. Six francs a day per head, house and food +included. The scenery is beyond comparison beautiful. We have a row +boat and some bicycles, and good roads, and no visitors. Nobody knows we +are here. And Sunday in heaven is noisy compared to this quietness. + Sincerely yours + S. L. C. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LUCERNE, Aug. 22, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Livy made a noble find on the Lucerne boat the other day on +one of her shopping trips--George Williamson Smith--did I tell you about +it? We had a lovely time with him, and such intellectual refreshment as +we had not tasted in many a month. + +And the other night we had a detachment of the jubilee Singers--6. I had +known one of them in London 24 years ago. Three of the 6 were born in +slavery, the others were children of slaves. How charming they were--in +spirit, manner, language, pronunciation, enunciation, grammar, phrasing, +matter, carriage, clothes--in every detail that goes to make the real +lady and gentleman, and welcome guest. We went down to the village hotel +and bought our tickets and entered the beer-hall, where a crowd of German +and Swiss men and women sat grouped at round tables with their beer mugs +in front of them--self-contained and unimpressionable looking people, an +indifferent and unposted and disheartened audience--and up at the far end +of the room sat the Jubilees in a row. The Singers got up and stood--the +talking and glass jingling went on. Then rose and swelled out above +those common earthly sounds one of those rich chords the secret of whose +make only the Jubilees possess, and a spell fell upon that house. It was +fine to see the faces light up with the pleased wonder and surprise of +it. No one was indifferent any more; and when the singers finished, the +camp was theirs. It was a triumph. It reminded me of Launcelot riding +in Sir Kay's armor and astonishing complacent Knights who thought they +had struck a soft thing. The Jubilees sang a lot of pieces. Arduous and +painstaking cultivation has not diminished or artificialized their music, +but on the contrary--to my surprise--has mightily reinforced its +eloquence and beauty. Away back in the beginning--to my mind--their +music made all other vocal music cheap; and that early notion is +emphasized now. It is utterly beautiful, to me; and it moves me +infinitely more than any other music can. I think that in the Jubilees +and their songs America has produced the perfectest flower of the ages; +and I wish it were a foreign product, so that she would worship it and +lavish money on it and go properly crazy over it. + +Now, these countries are different: they would do all that, if it were +native. It is true they praise God, but that is merely a formality, and +nothing in it; they open out their whole hearts to no foreigner. + +The musical critics of the German press praise the Jubilees with great +enthusiasm--acquired technique etc, included. + +One of the jubilee men is a son of General Joe Johnson, and was educated +by him after the war. The party came up to the house and we had a +pleasant time. + +This is paradise, here--but of course we have got to leave it by and by. +The 18th of August--[Anniversary of Susy Clemens's death.]--has come and +gone, Joe--and we still seem to live. + With love from us all. + MARK. + + + Clemens declared he would as soon spend his life in Weggis "as + anywhere else in the geography," but October found them in Vienna + for the winter, at the Hotel Metropole. The Austrian capital was + just then in a political turmoil, the character of which is hinted + in the following: + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Oct. 23, '97. +DEAR JOE,--We are gradually getting settled down and wonted. Vienna is +not a cheap place to live in, but I have made one small arrangement +which: has a distinctly economical aspect. The Vice Consul made the +contract for me yesterday-to-wit: a barber is to come every morning 8.30 +and shave me and keep my hair trimmed for $2.50 a month. I used to pay +$1.50 per shave in our house in Hartford. + +Does it suggest to you reflections when you reflect that this is the most +important event which has happened to me in ten days--unless I count--in +my handing a cabman over to the police day before yesterday, with the +proper formalities, and promised to appear in court when his case comes +up. + +If I had time to run around and talk, I would do it; for there is much +politics agoing, and it would be interesting if a body could get the hang +of it. It is Christian and Jew by the horns--the advantage with the +superior man, as usual--the superior man being the Jew every time and in +all countries. Land, Joe, what chance would the Christian have in a +country where there were 3 Jews to 10 Christians! Oh, not the shade of a +shadow of a chance. The difference between the brain of the average +Christian and that of the average Jew--certainly in Europe--is about the +difference between a tadpole's and an Archbishop's. It's a marvelous, +race--by long odds the most marvelous that the world has produced, I +suppose. + +And there's more politics--the clash between Czech and Austrian. I wish +I could understand these quarrels, but of course I can't. + +With the abounding love of us all + MARK. + + + In Following the Equator there was used an amusing picture showing + Mark Twain on his trip around the world. It was a trick photograph + made from a picture of Mark Twain taken in a steamer-chair, cut out + and combined with a dilapidated negro-cart drawn by a horse and an + ox. In it Clemens appears to be sitting luxuriously in the end of + the disreputable cart. His companions are two negroes. To the + creator of this ingenious effect Mark Twain sent a characteristic + acknowledgment. + + + To T. S. Frisbie + + VIENNA, Oct. 25, '97. +MR. T. S. FRISBIE,--Dear Sir: The picture has reached me, and has moved +me deeply. That was a steady, sympathetic and honorable team, and +although it was not swift, and not showy, it pulled me around the globe +successfully, and always attracted its proper share of attention, even in +the midst of the most costly and fashionable turnouts. Princes and dukes +and other experts were always enthused by the harness and could hardly +keep from trying to buy it. The barouche does not look as fine, now, as +it did earlier-but that was before the earthquake. + +The portraits of myself and uncle and nephew are very good indeed, and +your impressionist reproduction of the palace of the Governor General of +India is accurate and full of tender feeling. + +I consider that this picture is much more than a work of art. How much +more, one cannot say with exactness, but I should think two-thirds more. + + Very truly yours + MARK TWAIN. + + + Following the Equator was issued by subscription through Mark + Twain's old publishers, the Blisses, of Hartford. The sale of it + was large, not only on account of the value of the book itself, but + also because of the sympathy of the American people with Mark + Twain's brave struggle to pay his debts. When the newspapers began + to print exaggerated stories of the vast profits that were piling + up, Bliss became worried, for he thought it would modify the + sympathy. He cabled Clemens for a denial, with the following + result: + + + To Frank E. Bliss, in Hartford: + + VIENNA, Nov. 4, 1897. +DEAR BLISS,--Your cablegram informing me that a report is in circulation +which purports to come from me and which says I have recently made +$82,000 and paid all my debts has just reached me, and I have cabled +back my regret to you that it is not true. I wrote a letter--a private +letter--a short time ago, in which I expressed the belief that I should +be out of debt within the next twelvemonth. If you make as much as usual +for me out of the book, that belief will crystallize into a fact, and I +shall be wholly out of debt. I am encoring you now. + +It is out of that moderate letter that the Eighty-Two Thousand-Dollar +mare's nest has developed. But why do you worry about the various +reports? They do not worry me. They are not unfriendly, and I don't see +how they can do any harm. Be patient; you have but a little while to +wait; the possible reports are nearly all in. It has been reported that +I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead +--the other man again. It has been reported that I have received a +legacy it was another man; that I am out of debt--it was another man; and +now comes this $82,000--still another man. It has been reported that I +am writing books--for publication; I am not doing anything of the kind. +It would surprise (and gratify) me if I should be able to get another +book ready for the press within the next three years. You can see, +yourself, that there isn't anything more to be reported--invention is +exhausted. Therefore, don't worry, Bliss--the long night is breaking. +As far as I can see, nothing remains to be reported, except that I have +become a foreigner. When you hear it, don't you believe it. And don't +take the trouble to deny it. Merely just raise the American flag on our +house in Hartford, and let it talk. + Truly yours, + MARK TWAIN. + +P. S. This is not a private letter. I am getting tired of private +letters. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + VIENNA + HOTEL METROPOLE, NOV. 19, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Above is our private (and permanent) address for the winter. +You needn't send letters by London. + +I am very much obliged for Forrest's Austro-Hungarian articles. I have +just finished reading the first one: and in it I find that his opinion +and Vienna's are the same, upon a point which was puzzling me--the +paucity (no, the absence) of Austrian Celebrities. He and Vienna both +say the country cannot afford to allow great names to grow up; that the +whole safety and prosperity of the Empire depends upon keeping things +quiet; can't afford to have geniuses springing up and developing ideas +and stirring the public soul. I am assured that every time a man finds +himself blooming into fame, they just softly snake him down and relegate +him to a wholesome obscurity. It is curious and interesting. + +Three days ago the New York World sent and asked a friend of mine +(correspondent of a London daily) to get some Christmas greetings from +the celebrities of the Empire. She spoke of this. Two or three bright +Austrians were present. They said "There are none who are known all over +the world! none who have achieved fame; none who can point to their work +and say it is known far and wide in the earth: there are no names; +Kossuth (known because he had a father) and Lecher, who made the 12 hour +speech; two names-nothing more. Every other country in the world, +perhaps, has a giant or two whose heads are away up and can be seen, but +ours. We've got the material--have always had it--but we have to +suppress it; we can't afford to let it develop; our political salvation +depends upon tranquillity--always has." + +Poor Livy! She is laid up with rheumatism; but she is getting along now. +We have a good doctor, and he says she will be out of bed in a couple of +days, but must stay in the house a week or ten. + +Clara is working faithfully at her music, Jean at her usual studies, and +we all send love. + MARK. + + + Mention has already been made of the political excitement in Vienna. + The trouble between the Hungarian and German legislative bodies + presently became violent. Clemens found himself intensely + interested, and was present in one of the galleries when it was + cleared by the police. All sorts of stories were circulated as to + what happened to him, one of which was cabled to America. A letter + to Twichell sets forth what really happened. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Dec. 10, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Pond sends me a Cleveland paper with a cablegram from here in +it which says that when the police invaded the parliament and expelled +the 11 members I waved my handkerchief and shouted 'Hoch die Deutschen!' +and got hustled out. Oh dear, what a pity it is that one's adventures +never happen! When the Ordner (sergeant-at-arms) came up to our gallery +and was hurrying the people out, a friend tried to get leave for me to +stay, by saying, "But this gentleman is a foreigner--you don't need to +turn him out--he won't do any harm." + +"Oh, I know him very well--I recognize him by his pictures; and I should +be very glad to let him stay, but I haven't any choice, because of the +strictness of the orders." + +And so we all went out, and no one was hustled. Below, I ran across the +London Times correspondent, and he showed me the way into the first +gallery and I lost none of the show. The first gallery had not +misbehaved, and was not disturbed . + +. . . We cannot persuade Livy to go out in society yet, but all the +lovely people come to see her; and Clara and I go to dinner parties, and +around here and there, and we all have a most hospitable good time. +Jean's woodcarving flourishes, and her other studies. + +Good-bye Joe--and we all love all of you. + MARK. + + + Clemens made an article of the Austrian troubles, one of the best + things he ever wrote, and certainly one of the clearest elucidations + of the Austro-Hungarian confusions. It was published in Harper's + Magazine, and is now included in his complete works. + + Thus far none of the Webster Company debts had been paid--at least, + none of importance. The money had been accumulating in Mr. Rogers's + hands, but Clemens was beginning to be depressed by the heavy + burden. He wrote asking for relief. + + + Part of a letter to H. H. Rogers, in New York: + +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I throw up the sponge. I pull down the flag. Let us +begin on the debts. I cannot bear the weight any longer. It totally +unfits me for work. I have lost three entire months now. In that time I +have begun twenty magazine articles and books--and flung every one of +them aside in turn. The debts interfered every time, and took the spirit +out of any work. And yet I have worked like a bond slave and wasted no +time and spared no effort---- + +Rogers wrote, proposing a plan for beginning immediately upon the debts. +Clemens replied enthusiastically, and during the next few weeks wrote +every few days, expressing his delight in liquidation. + + + Extracts from letters to H. H. Rogers, in New York: + +. . . We all delighted with your plan. Only don't leave B-- out. +Apparently that claim has been inherited by some women--daughters, no +doubt. We don't want to see them lose any thing. B-- is an ass, and +disgruntled, but I don't care for that. I am responsible for the money +and must do the best I can to pay it..... I am writing hard--writing for +the creditors. + + + Dec. 29. +Land we are glad to see those debts diminishing. For the first time in +my life I am getting more pleasure out of paying money out than pulling +it in. + + + Jan. 2. +Since we have begun to pay off the debts I have abundant peace of mind +again--no sense of burden. Work is become a pleasure again--it is not +labor any longer. + + + March 7. +Mrs. Clemens has been reading the creditors' letters over and over again +and thanks you deeply for sending them, and says it is the only really +happy day she has had since Susy died. + + + + +XXXVII + +LETTERS, 1898, TO HOWELLS AND TWICHELL. LIFE IN VIENNA. PAYMENT OF THE +DEBTS. ASSASSINATION OF THE EMPRESS + +The end of January saw the payment of the last of Mark Twain's debts. +Once more he stood free before the world--a world that sounded his +praises. The latter fact rather amused him. "Honest men must be pretty +scarce," he said, "when they make so much fuss over even a defective +specimen." When the end was in sight Clemens wrote the news to Howells +in a letter as full of sadness as of triumph. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Jan. 22, '98. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Look at those ghastly figures. I used to write it +"Hartford, 1871." There was no Susy then--there is no Susy now. And how +much lies between--one long lovely stretch of scented fields, and +meadows, and shady woodlands, and suddenly Sahara! You speak of the +glorious days of that old time--and they were. It is my quarrel--that +traps like that are set. Susy and Winnie given us, in miserable sport, +and then taken away. + +About the last time I saw you I described to you the culminating disaster +in a book I was going to write (and will yet, when the stroke is further +away)--a man's dead daughter brought to him when he had been through all +other possible misfortunes--and I said it couldn't be done as it ought to +be done except by a man who had lived it--it must be written with the +blood out of a man's heart. I couldn't know, then, how soon I was to be +made competent. I have thought of it many a time since. If you were +here I think we could cry down each other's necks, as in your dream. +For we are a pair of old derelicts drifting around, now, with some of our +passengers gone and the sunniness of the others in eclipse. + +I couldn't get along without work now. I bury myself in it up to the +ears. Long hours--8 and 9 on a stretch, sometimes. And all the days, +Sundays included. It isn't all for print, by any means, for much of it +fails to suit me; 50,000 words of it in the past year. It was because of +the deadness which invaded me when Susy died. But I have made a change +lately--into dramatic work--and I find it absorbingly entertaining. +I don't know that I can write a play that will play: but no matter, I'll +write half a dozen that won't, anyway. Dear me, I didn't know there was +such fun in it. I'll write twenty that won't play. I get into immense +spirits as soon as my day is fairly started. Of course a good deal of +this friskiness comes of my being in sight of land--on the Webster & Co. +debts, I mean. (Private.) We've lived close to the bone and saved every +cent we could, and there's no undisputed claim, now, that we can't cash. +I have marked this "private" because it is for the friends who are +attending to the matter for us in New York to reveal it when they want to +and if they want to. There are only two claims which I dispute and which +I mean to look into personally before I pay them. But they are small. +Both together they amount to only $12,500. I hope you will never get the +like of the load saddled onto you that was saddled onto me 3 years ago. +And yet there is such a solid pleasure in paying the things that I reckon +maybe it is worth while to get into that kind of a hobble, after all. +Mrs. Clemens gets millions of delight out of it; and the children have +never uttered one complaint about the scrimping, from the beginning. + +We all send you and all of you our love. + MARK. + + + Howells wrote: "I wish you could understand how unshaken you are, + you old tower, in every way; your foundations are struck so deep + that you will catch the sunshine of immortal years, and bask in the + same light as Cervantes and Shakespeare." + + The Clemens apartments at the Metropole became a sort of social + clearing-house of the Viennese art and literary life, much more like + an embassy than the home of a mere literary man. Celebrities in + every walk of life, persons of social and official rank, writers for + the press, assembled there on terms hardly possible in any other + home in Vienna. Wherever Mark Twain appeared in public he was a + central figure. Now and then he read or spoke to aid some benefit, + and these were great gatherings attended by members of the royal + family. It was following one such event that the next letter was + written. + + +(Private) + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Feb. 3, '98. +DEAR JOE, There's that letter that I began so long ago--you see how +it is: can't get time to finish anything. I pile up lots of work, +nevertheless. There may be idle people in the world, but I'm not one of +them. I say "Private" up there because I've got an adventure to tell, +and you mustn't let a breath of it get out. First I thought I would lay +it up along with a thousand others that I've laid up for the same +purpose--to talk to you about, but--those others have vanished out of my +memory; and that must not happen with this. + +The other night I lectured for a Vienna charity; and at the end of it +Livy and I were introduced to a princess who is aunt to the heir apparent +of the imperial throne--a beautiful lady, with a beautiful spirit, and +very cordial in her praises of my books and thanks to me for writing +them; and glad to meet me face to face and shake me by the hand--just the +kind of princess that adorns a fairy tale and makes it the prettiest tale +there is. + +Very well, we long ago found that when you are noticed by supremacies, +the correct etiquette is to go, within a couple of days, and pay your +respects in the quite simple form of writing your name in the Visitors' +Book kept in the office of the establishment. That is the end of it, and +everything is squared up and ship-shape. + +So at noon today Livy and I drove to the Archducal palace, and got by the +sentries all right, and asked the grandly-uniformed porter for the book +and said we wished to write our names in it. And he called a servant in +livery and was sending us up stairs; and said her Royal Highness was out +but would soon be in. Of course Livy said "No--no--we only want the +book;" but he was firm, and said, "You are Americans?" + +"Yes." + +"Then you are expected, please go up stairs." + +"But indeed we are not expected--please let us have the book and--" + +"Her Royal Highness will be back in a very little while--she commanded me +to tell you so--and you must wait." + +Well, the soldiers were there close by--there was no use trying to +resist--so we followed the servant up; but when he tried to beguile us +into a drawing-room, Livy drew the line; she wouldn't go in. And she +wouldn't stay up there, either. She said the princess might come in at +any moment and catch us, and it would be too infernally ridiculous for +anything. So we went down stairs again--to my unspeakable regret. For +it was too darling a comedy to spoil. I was hoping and praying the +princess would come, and catch us up there, and that those other +Americans who were expected would arrive, and be taken for impostors by +the portier, and shot by the sentinels--and then it would all go into the +papers, and be cabled all over the world, and make an immense stir and be +perfectly lovely. And by that time the princess would discover that we +were not the right ones, and the Minister of War would be ordered out, +and the garrison, and they would come for us, and there would be another +prodigious time, and that would get cabled too, and--well, Joe, I was in +a state of perfect bliss. But happily, oh, so happily, that big portier +wouldn't let us out--he was sorry, but he must obey orders--we must go +back up stairs and wait. Poor Livy--I couldn't help but enjoy her +distress. She said we were in a fix, and how were we going to explain, +if the princess should arrive before the rightful Americans came? We +went up stairs again--laid off our wraps, and were conducted through one +drawing room and into another, and left alone there and the door closed +upon us. + +Livy was in a state of mind! She said it was too theatrically +ridiculous; and that I would never be able to keep my mouth shut; that I +would be sure to let it out and it would get into the papers--and she +tried to make me promise--"Promise what?" I said-- "to be quiet about +this? Indeed I won't--it's the best thing that ever happened; I'll tell +it, and add to it; and I wish Joe and Howells were here to make it +perfect; I can't make all the rightful blunders myself--it takes all +three of us to do justice to an opportunity like this. I would just like +to see Howells get down to his work and explain, and lie, and work his +futile and inventionless subterfuges when that princess comes raging in +here and wanting to know." But Livy could not hear fun--it was not a +time to be trying to be funny--we were in a most miserable and shameful +situation, and if-- + +Just then the door spread wide and our princess and 4 more, and 3 little +princes flowed in! Our princess, and her sister the Archduchess Marie +Therese (mother to the imperial Heir and to the young girl Archduchesses +present, and aunt to the 3 little princes)--and we shook hands all around +and sat down and had a most sociable good time for half an hour--and by +and by it turned out that we were the right ones, and had been sent for +by a messenger who started too late to catch us at the hotel. We were +invited for 2 o'clock, but we beat that arrangement by an hour and a +half. + +Wasn't it a rattling good comedy situation? Seems a kind of pity we were +the right ones. It would have been such nuts to see the right ones come, +and get fired out, and we chatting along comfortably and nobody +suspecting us for impostors. + +We send lots and lots of love. + MARK. + + + The reader who has followed these pages has seen how prone Mark + Twain was to fall a victim to the lure of a patent-right--how he + wasted several small fortunes on profitless contrivances, and one + large one on that insatiable demon of intricacy and despair, the + Paige type-setter. It seems incredible that, after that experience + and its attending disaster, he should have been tempted again. But + scarcely was the ink dry on the receipts from his creditors when he + was once more borne into the clouds on the prospect of millions, + perhaps even billions, to be made from a marvelous carpet-pattern + machine, the invention of Sczezepanik, an Austrian genius. That + Clemens appreciated his own tendencies is shown by the parenthetic + line with which he opens his letter on the subject to Mr. Rogers. + Certainly no man was ever a more perfect prototype of Colonel + Sellers than the creator of that lovely, irrepressible visionary. + + + To Mr. Rogers, in New York: + + March 24, '98. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--(I feel like Col. Sellers). + +Mr. Kleinberg [agent for Sczezepanik] came according to appointment, at +8.30 last night, and brought his English-speaking Secretary. I asked +questions about the auxiliary invention (which I call "No. 2 ") and got +as good an idea of it as I could. It is a machine. It automatically +punches the holes in the jacquard cards, and does it with mathematical +accuracy. It will do for $1 what now costs $3. So it has value, but +"No. 2" is the great thing(the designing invention.) It saves $9 out of +$10 and the jacquard looms must have it. + +Then I arrived at my new project, and said to him in substance, this: + +"You are on the point of selling the No. 2 patents to Belgium, Italy, +etc. I suggest that you stop those negotiations and put those people off +two or three months. They are anxious now, they will not be less anxious +then--just the reverse; people always want a thing that is denied them. + +"So far as I know, no great world-patent has ever yet been placed in the +grip of a single corporation. This is a good time to begin. + +"We have to do a good deal of guess-work here, because we cannot get hold +of just the statistics we want. Still, we have some good statistics--and +I will use those for a test. + +"You say that of the 1500 Austrian textile factories, 800 use the +jacquard. Then we will guess that of the 4,000 American factories 2,000 +use the jacquard and must have our No. 2. + +"You say that a middle-sized Austrian factory employs from 20 to 3o +designers and pays them from 800 to 3,000 odd florins a year--(a florin +is 2 francs). Let us call the average wage 1500 florins ($600). + +"Let us apply these figures (the low wages too) to the 2,000 American +factories--with this difference, to guard against over-guessing; that +instead of allowing for 20 to 30 designers to a middle-sized factory, we +allow only an average of 10 to each of the 2,000 factories--a total of +20,000 designers. Wages at $600, a total of $12,000,000. Let us +consider that No. 2 will reduce this expense to $2,000,000 a year. The +saving is $5,000,000 per each of the $200,000,000 of capital employed in +the jacquard business over there. + +"Let us consider that in the countries covered by this patent, an +aggregate of $1,500,000,000 of capital is employed in factories requiring +No. 2. + +"The saving (as above) is $75,000,000 a year. The Company holding in its +grip all these patents would collar $50,000,000 of that, as its share. +Possibly more. + +"Competition would be at an end in the Jacquard business, on this planet. +Price-cutting would end. Fluctuations in values would cease. The +business would be the safest and surest in the world; commercial panics +could not seriously affect it; its stock would be as choice an investment +as Government bonds. When the patents died the Company would be so +powerful that it could still keep the whole business in its hands. Would +you like to grant me the privilege of placing the whole jacquard business +of the world in the grip of a single Company? And don't you think that +the business would grow-grow like a weed?" + +"Ach, America--it is the country of the big! Let me get my breath--then +we will talk." + +So then we talked--talked till pretty late. Would Germany and England +join the combination? I said the Company would know how to persuade +them. + +Then I asked for a Supplementary Option, to cover the world, and we +parted. + +I am taking all precautions to keep my name out of print in connection +with this matter. And we will now keep the invention itself out of print +as well as we can. Descriptions of it have been granted to the "Dry +Goods Economist" (New York) and to a syndicate of American papers. I +have asked Mr. Kleinberg to suppress these, and he feels pretty sure he +can do it. + With love, + S. L. C. + + + If this splendid enthusiasm had not cooled by the time a reply came + from Mr. Rogers, it must have received a sudden chill from the + letter which he inclosed--the brief and concise report from a + carpet-machine expert, who said: "I do not feel that it would be of + any value to us in our mills, and the number of jacquard looms in + America is so limited that I am of the opinion that there is no + field for a company to develop the invention here. A cursory + examination of the pamphlet leads me to place no very high value + upon the invention, from a practical standpoint." + + With the receipt of this letter carpet-pattern projects would seem + to have suddenly ceased to be a factor in Mark Twain's calculations. + Such a letter in the early days of the type-machine would have saved + him a great sum in money and years of disappointment. But perhaps + he would not have heeded it then. + + The year 1898 brought the Spanish-American War. Clemens was + constitutionally against all wars, but writing to Twichell, whose + son had enlisted, we gather that this one was an exception. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + KALTENLEUTGEBEN, NEAR VIENNA, + June 17, '98. +DEAR JOE,--You are living your war-days over again in Dave, and it must +be a strong pleasure, mixed with a sauce of apprehension--enough to make +it just schmeck, as the Germans say. Dave will come out with two or +three stars on his shoulder-straps if the war holds, and then we shall +all be glad it happened. + +We started with Bull Run, before. Dewey and Hobson have introduced an +improvement on the game this time. + +I have never enjoyed a war-even in written history--as I am enjoying this +one. For this is the worthiest one that was ever fought, so far as my +knowledge goes. It is a worthy thing to fight for one's freedom; it is +another sight finer to fight for another man's. And I think this is the +first time it has been done. + +Oh, never mind Charley Warner, he would interrupt the raising of Lazarus. +He would say, the will has been probated, the property distributed, it +will be a world of trouble to settle the rows--better leave well enough +alone; don't ever disturb anything, where it's going to break the soft +smooth flow of things and wobble our tranquillity. + +Company! (Sh! it happens every day--and we came out here to be quiet.) + +Love to you all. + MARK. + + + They were spending the summer at Kaltenleutgeben, a pleasant village + near Vienna, but apparently not entirely quiet. Many friends came + out from Vienna, including a number of visiting Americans. Clemens, + however, appears to have had considerable time for writing, as we + gather from the next to Howells. + + + To W. D. Howells, in America: + + KALTENLEUTGEBEN, BEI WIEN, + Aug. 16, '98. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Your letter came yesterday. It then occurred to me that I +might have known (per mental telegraph) that it was due; for a couple of +weeks ago when the Weekly came containing that handsome reference to me I +was powerfully moved to write you; and my letter went on writing itself +while I was at work at my other literature during the day. But next day +my other literature was still urgent--and so on and so on; so my letter +didn't get put into ink at all. But I see now, that you were writing, +about that time, therefore a part of my stir could have come across the +Atlantic per mental telegraph. In 1876 or '75 I wrote 40,000 words of a +story called "Simon Wheeler" wherein the nub was the preventing of an +execution through testimony furnished by mental telegraph from the other +side of the globe. I had a lot of people scattered about the globe who +carried in their pockets something like the old mesmerizer-button, made +of different metals, and when they wanted to call up each other and have +a talk, they "pressed the button" or did something, I don't remember +what, and communication was at once opened. I didn't finish the story, +though I re-began it in several new ways, and spent altogether 70,000 +words on it, then gave it up and threw it aside. + +This much as preliminary to this remark: some day people will be able to +call each other up from any part of the world and talk by mental +telegraph--and not merely by impression, the impression will be +articulated into words. It could be a terrible thing, but it won't be, +because in the upper civilizations everything like sentimentality (I was +going to say sentiment) will presently get materialized out of people +along with the already fading spiritualities; and so when a man is called +who doesn't wish to talk he will be like those visitors you mention: "not +chosen"--and will be frankly damned and shut off. + +Speaking of the ill luck of starting a piece of literary work wrong-and +again and again; always aware that there is a way, if you could only +think it out, which would make the thing slide effortless from the pen- +the one right way, the sole form for you, the other forms being for men +whose line those forms are, or who are capabler than yourself: I've had +no end of experience in that (and maybe I am the only one--let us hope +so.) Last summer I started 16 things wrong--3 books and 13 mag. +articles--and could only make 2 little wee things, 1500 words altogether, +succeed:--only that out of piles and stacks of diligently-wrought MS., +the labor of 6 weeks' unremitting effort. I could make all of those +things go if I would take the trouble to re-begin each one half a dozen +times on a new plan. But none of them was important enough except one: +the story I (in the wrong form) mapped out in Paris three or four years +ago and told you about in New York under seal of confidence--no other +person knows of it but Mrs. Clemens--the story to be called "Which was +the Dream?" + +A week ago I examined the MS--10,000 words--and saw that the plan was a +totally impossible one-for me; but a new plan suggested itself, and +straightway the tale began to slide from the pen with ease and +confidence. I think I've struck the right one this time. I have already +put 12,000 words of it on paper and Mrs. Clemens is pretty outspokenly +satisfied with it-a hard critic to content. I feel sure that all of the +first half of the story--and I hope three-fourths--will be comedy; but by +the former plan the whole of it (except the first 3 chapters) would have +been tragedy and unendurable, almost. I think I can carry the reader a +long way before he suspects that I am laying a tragedy-trap. In the +present form I could spin 16 books out of it with comfort and joy; but I +shall deny myself and restrict it to one. (If you should see a little +short story in a magazine in the autumn called "My Platonic Sweetheart" +(written 3 weeks ago) that is not this one. It may have been a +suggester, though. + +I expect all these singular privacies to interest you, and you are not to +let on that they don't. + +We are leaving, this afternoon, for Ischl, to use that as a base for the +baggage, and then gad around ten days among the lakes and mountains to +rest-up Mrs. Clemens, who is jaded with housekeeping. I hope I can get a +chance to work a little in spots--I can't tell. But you do it--therefore +why should you think I can't? + + [Remainder missing.] + + + The dream story was never completed. It was the same that he had + worked on in London, and perhaps again in Switzerland. It would be + tried at other times and in other forms, but it never seemed to + accommodate itself to a central idea, so that the good writing in it + eventually went to waste. The short story mentioned, "My Platonic + Sweetheart," a charming, idyllic tale, was not published during Mark + Twain's lifetime. Two years after his death it appeared in Harper's + Magazine. + + The assassination of the Empress of Austria at Geneva was the + startling event of that summer. In a letter to Twichell Clemens + presents the tragedy in a few vivid paragraphs. Later he treated it + at some length in a magazine article which, very likely because of + personal relations with members of the Austrian court, he withheld + from print. It has since been included in a volume of essays, What + Is Man, etc. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + KALTENLEUTGEBEN, Sep. 13, '98. +DEAR JOE,-- You are mistaken; people don't send us the magazines. No-- +Harper, Century and McClure do; an example I should like to recommend to +other publishers. And so I thank you very much for sending me Brander's +article. When you say "I like Brander Matthews; he impresses me as a man +of parts and power," I back you, right up to the hub--I feel the same +way--. And when you say he has earned your gratitude for cuffing me for +my crimes against the Leather stockings and the Vicar, I ain't making any +objection. Dern your gratitude! + +His article is as sound as a nut. Brander knows literature, and loves +it; he can talk about it and keep his temper; he can state his case so +lucidly and so fairly and so forcibly that you have to agree with him, +even when you don't agree with him; and he can discover and praise such +merits as a book has, even when they are half a dozen diamonds scattered +through an acre of mud. And so he has a right to be a critic. + +To detail just the opposite of the above invoice is to describe me. I +haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I +hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden +me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I +have to stop every time I begin. + +That good and unoffending lady the Empress is killed by a mad-man, and I +am living in the midst of world-history again. The Queen's jubilee last +year, the invasion of the Reichsrath by the police, and now this murder, +which will still be talked of and described and painted a thousand years +from now. To have a personal friend of the wearer of the crown burst in +at the gate in the deep dusk of the evening and say in a voice broken +with tears, "My God the Empress is murdered," and fly toward her home +before we can utter a question-why, it brings the giant event home to +you, makes you a part of it and personally interested; it is as if your +neighbor Antony should come flying and say "Caesar is butchered--the head +of the world is fallen!" + +Of course there is no talk but of this. The mourning is universal and +genuine, the consternation is stupefying. The Austrian Empire is being +draped with black. Vienna will be a spectacle to see, by next Saturday, +when the funeral cortege marches. We are invited to occupy a room in the +sumptuous new hotel (the "Krantz" where we are to live during the Fall +and Winter) and view it, and we shall go. + +Speaking of Mrs. Leiter, there is a noble dame in Vienna, about whom they +retail similar slanders. She said in French--she is weak in French--that +she had been spending a Sunday afternoon in a gathering of the +"demimonde." Meaning the unknown land, that mercantile land, that +mysterious half-world which underlies the aristocracy. But these +Malaproperies are always inventions--they don't happen. + +Yes, I wish we could have some talks; I'm full to the eye-lids. Had a +noble good one with Parker and Dunham--land, but we were grateful for +that visit! + Yours with all our loves. + MARK. + + [Inclosed with the foregoing.] + +Among the inadequate attempts to account for the assassination we must +concede high rank to the German Emperor's. He justly describes it as a +"deed unparalleled for ruthlessness," and then adds that it was "ordained +from above." + +I think this verdict will not be popular "above." A man is either a free +agent or he isn't. If a man is a free agent, this prisoner is +responsible for what he has done; but if a man is not a free agent, if +the deed was ordained from above, there is no rational way of making this +prisoner even partially responsible for it, and the German court cannot +condemn him without manifestly committing a crime. Logic is logic; and +by disregarding its laws even Emperors as capable and acute as William II +can be beguiled into making charges which should not be ventured upon +except in the shelter of plenty of lightning-rods. + MARK. + + + The end of the year 1898 found Mark Twain once more in easy, even + luxurious, circumstances. The hard work and good fortune which had + enabled him to pay his debts had, in the course of another year, + provided what was comparative affluence: His report to Howells is + characteristic and interesting. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + HOTEL KRANTZ, WIEN, L. NEVER MARKT 6 + Dec. 30, '98. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I begin with a date--including all the details--though I +shall be interrupted presently by a South-African acquaintance who is +passing through, and it may be many days before I catch another leisure +moment. Note how suddenly a thing can become habit, and how +indestructible the habit is, afterward! In your house in Cambridge a +hundred years ago, Mrs. Howells said to me, "Here is a bunch of your +letters, and the dates are of no value, because you don't put any in-- +the years, anyway." That remark diseased me with a habit which has cost +me worlds of time and torture and ink, and millions of vain efforts and +buckets of tears to break it, and here it is yet--I could easier get rid +of a virtue..... + +I hope it will interest you (for I have no one else who would much care +to know it) that here lately the dread of leaving the children in +difficult circumstances has died down and disappeared and I am now having +peace from that long, long nightmare, and can sleep as well as anyone. +Every little while, for these three years, now, Mrs. Clemens has come +with pencil and paper and figured up the condition of things (she keeps +the accounts and the bank-book) and has proven to me that the clouds were +lifting, and so has hoisted my spirits temporarily and kept me going till +another figuring-up was necessary. Last night she figured up for her own +satisfaction, not mine, and found that we own a house and furniture in +Hartford; that my English and American copyrights pay an income which +represents a value of $200,000; and that we have $107,000 cash in the +bank. I have been out and bought a box of 6-cent cigars; I was smoking +4 « centers before. + +At the house of an English friend, on Christmas Eve, we saw the Mouse- +Trap played and well played. I thought the house would kill itself with +laughter. By George they played with life! and it was most +devastatingly funny. And it was well they did, for they put us Clemenses +in the front seat, and if they played it poorly I would have assaulted +them. The head young man and girl were Americans, the other parts were +taken by English, Irish and Scotch girls. Then there was a nigger- +minstrel show, of the genuine old sort, and I enjoyed that, too, for the +nigger-show was always a passion of mine. This one was created and +managed by a Quaker doctor from Philada., (23 years old) and he was the +middle man. There were 9 others--5 Americans from 5 States and a +Scotchman, 2 Englishmen and an Irishman--all post-graduate-medical young +fellows, of course--or, it could be music; but it would be bound to be +one or the other. + +It's quite true--I don't read you "as much as I ought," nor anywhere near +half as much as I want to; still I read you all I get a chance to. +I saved up your last story to read when the numbers should be complete, +but before that time arrived some other admirer of yours carried off the +papers. I will watch admirers of yours when the Silver Wedding journey +begins, and that will not happen again. The last chance at a bound book +of yours was in London nearly two years ago--the last volume of your +short things, by the Harpers. I read the whole book twice through and +some of the chapters several times, and the reason that that was as far +as I got with it was that I lent it to another admirer of yours and he is +admiring it yet. Your admirers have ways of their own; I don't know +where they get them. + +Yes, our project is to go home next autumn if we find we can afford to +live in New York. We've asked a friend to inquire about flats and +expenses. But perhaps nothing will come of it. We do afford to live in +the finest hotel in Vienna, and have 4 bedrooms, a dining-room, a +drawing-room, 3 bath-rooms and 3 Vorzimmers, (and food) but we couldn't +get the half of it in New York for the same money ($600 a month). + + +Susy hovers about us this holiday week, and the shadows fall all about us +of + + "The days when we went gipsying + A long time ago." + +Death is so kind, so benignant, to whom he loves; but he goes by us +others and will not look our way. We saw the "Master of Palmyra" last +night. How Death, with the gentleness and majesty, made the human grand- +folk around him seem little and trivial and silly! + +With love from all of us to all of you. + MARK. + + + + +XXXVIII + +LETTERS, 1899, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. VIENNA. LONDON. A SUMMER IN +SWEDEN + +The beginning of 1899 found the Clemens family still in Vienna, occupying +handsome apartments at the Hotel Krantz. Their rooms, so often thronged +with gay and distinguished people, were sometimes called the "Second +Embassy." Clemens himself was the central figure of these assemblies. +Of all the foreign visitors in the Austrian capital he was the most +notable. Everywhere he was surrounded by a crowd of listeners--his +sayings and opinions were widely quoted. + +A project for world disarmament promulgated by the Czar of Russia would +naturally interest Mark Twain, and when William T. Stead, of the Review +of Reviews, cabled him for an opinion on the matter, he sent at first a +brief word and on the same day followed it with more extended comment. +The great war which has since devastated the world gives to this incident +an added interest. + + + To Wm. T. Stead, in London: + +No. 1. + VIENNA, Jan. 9. +DEAR MR. STEAD,-The Czar is ready to disarm: I am ready to disarm. +Collect the others, it should not be much of a task now. + MARK TWAIN. + + +To Wm. T. Stead, in London: + +No. 2. +DEAR MR. STEAD,--Peace by compulsion. That seems a better idea than the +other. Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should +not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and +history seems to show that that cannot be done. Can't we reduce the +armaments little by little--on a pro rata basis--by concert of the +powers? Can't we get four great powers to agree to reduce their strength +10 per cent a year and thrash the others into doing likewise? For, of +course, we cannot expect all of the powers to be in their right minds at +one time. It has been tried. We are not going to try to get all of them +to go into the scheme peaceably, are we? In that case I must withdraw my +influence; because, for business reasons, I must preserve the outward +signs of sanity. Four is enough if they can be securely harnessed +together. They can compel peace, and peace without compulsion would be +against nature and not operative. A sliding scale of reduction of 10 per +cent a year has a sort of plausible look, and I am willing to try that if +three other powers will join. I feel sure that the armaments are now +many times greater than necessary for the requirements of either peace or +war. Take wartime for instance. Suppose circumstances made it necessary +for us to fight another Waterloo, and that it would do what it did +before--settle a large question and bring peace. I will guess that +400,000 men were on hand at Waterloo (I have forgotten the figures). +In five hours they disabled 50,000 men. It took them that tedious, long +time because the firearms delivered only two or three shots a minute. +But we would do the work now as it was done at Omdurman, with shower +guns, raining 600 balls a minute. Four men to a gun--is that the number? +A hundred and fifty shots a minute per man. Thus a modern soldier is 149 +Waterloo soldiers in one. Thus, also, we can now retain one man out of +each 150 in service, disband the others, and fight our Waterloos just as +effectively as we did eighty-five years ago. We should do the same +beneficent job with 2,800 men now that we did with 400,000 then. The +allies could take 1,400 of the men, and give Napoleon 1,400 and then whip +him. + +But instead what do we see? In war-time in Germany, Russia and France, +taken together we find about 8 million men equipped for the field. Each +man represents 149 Waterloo men, in usefulness and killing capacity. +Altogether they constitute about 350 million Waterloo men, and there are +not quite that many grown males of the human race now on this planet. +Thus we have this insane fact--that whereas those three countries could +arm 18,000 men with modern weapons and make them the equals of 3 million +men of Napoleon's day, and accomplish with them all necessary war work, +they waste their money and their prosperity creating forces of their +populations in piling together 349,982,000 extra Waterloo equivalents +which they would have no sort of use for if they would only stop drinking +and sit down and cipher a little. + +Perpetual peace we cannot have on any terms, I suppose; but I hope we can +gradually reduce the war strength of Europe till we get it down to where +it ought to be--20,000 men, properly armed. Then we can have all the +peace that is worth while, and when we want a war anybody can afford it. + + + VIENNA, January 9. +P. S.--In the article I sent the figures are wrong--"350 million" ought +to be 450 million; "349,982,000" ought to be 449,982,000, and the remark +about the sum being a little more than the present number of males on the +planet--that is wrong, of course; it represents really one and a half the +existing males. + + + Now and then one of Mark Twain's old comrades still reached out to + him across the years. He always welcomed such letters -they came as + from a lost land of romance, recalled always with tenderness. He + sent light, chaffing replies, but they were never without an + undercurrent of affection. + + + To Major "Jack" Downing, in Middleport, Ohio: + + HOTEL KRANTZ, WEIN, I, NEUER MART 6, + Feb. 26, 1899. +DEAR MAJOR,--No: it was to Bixby that I was apprenticed. He was to teach +me the river for a certain specified sum. I have forgotten what it was, +but I paid it. I steered a trip for Bart Bowen, of Keokuk, on the A. T. +Lacy, and I was partner with Will Bowen on the A. B. Chambers (one trip), +and with Sam Bowen a whole summer on a small Memphis packet. + +The newspaper report you sent me is incorrect. Bixby is not 67: he is +97. I am 63 myself, and I couldn't talk plain and had just begun to walk +when I apprenticed myself to Bixby who was then passing himself off for +57 and successfully too, for he always looked 60 or 70 years younger than +he really was. At that time he was piloting the Mississippi on a Potomac +commission granted him by George Washington who was a personal friend of +his before the Revolution. He has piloted every important river in +America, on that commission, he has also used it as a passport in Russia. +I have never revealed these facts before. I notice, too, that you are +deceiving the people concerning your age. The printed portrait which you +have enclosed is not a portrait of you, but a portrait of me when I was +19. I remember very well when it was common for people to mistake Bixby +for your grandson. Is it spreading, I wonder--this disposition of pilots +to renew their youth by doubtful methods? Beck Jolly and Joe Bryan--they +probably go to Sunday school now--but it will not deceive. + +Yes, it is as you say. All of the procession but a fraction has passed. +It is time for us all to fall in. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + HOTEL KRANTZ, WIEN I. NEUER MARKT 6 + April 2, '99. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I am waiting for the April Harper, which is about due now; +waiting, and strongly interested. You are old enough to be a weary man, +with paling interests, but you do not show it. You do your work in the +same old delicate and delicious and forceful and searching and perfect +way. I don't know how you can--but I suspect. I suspect that to you +there is still dignity in human life, and that Man is not a joke--a poor +joke--the poorest that was ever contrived. Since I wrote my Bible, (last +year)--["What Is Man."]--which Mrs. Clemens loathes, and shudders over, +and will not listen to the last half nor allow me to print any part of +it, Man is not to me the respect-worthy person he was before; and so I +have lost my pride in him, and can't write gaily nor praisefully about +him any more. And I don't intend to try. I mean to go on writing, for +that is my best amusement, but I shan't print much. (for I don't wish to +be scalped, any more than another.) + +April 5. The Harper has come. I have been in Leipzig with your party, +and then went on to Karlsbad and saw Mrs. Marsh's encounter with the +swine with the toothpick and the other manners--["Their Silver Wedding +Journey."]--At this point Jean carried the magazine away. + +Is it imagination, or--Anyway I seem to get furtive and fleeting glimpses +which I take to be the weariness and condolence of age; indifference to +sights and things once brisk with interest; tasteless stale stuff which +used to be champagne; the boredom of travel: the secret sigh behind the +public smile, the private What-in-hell-did-I-come-for! + +But maybe that is your art. Maybe that is what you intend the reader to +detect and think he has made a Columbus-discovery. Then it is well done, +perfectly done. I wrote my last travel book--[Following the Equator.]-- +in hell; but I let on, the best I could, that it was an excursion through +heaven. Some day I will read it, and if its lying cheerfulness fools me, +then I shall believe it fooled the reader. How I did loathe that journey +around the world!--except the sea-part and India. + +Evening. My tail hangs low. I thought I was a financier--and I bragged +to you. I am not bragging, now. The stock which I sold at such a fine +profit early in January, has never ceased to advance, and is now worth +$60,000 more than I sold it for. I feel just as if I had been spending +$20,000 a month, and I feel reproached for this showy and unbecoming +extravagance. + +Last week I was going down with the family to Budapest to lecture, and to +make a speech at a banquet. Just as I was leaving here I got a telegram +from London asking for the speech for a New York paper. I (this is +strictly private) sent it. And then I didn't make that speech, but +another of a quite different character--a speech born of something +which the introducer said. If that said speech got cabled and printed, +you needn't let on that it was never uttered. + +That was a darling night, and those Hungarians were lively people. We +were there a week and had a great time. At the banquet I heard their +chief orator make a most graceful and easy and beautiful and delicious +speech--I never heard one that enchanted me more--although I did not +understand a word of it, since it was in Hungarian. But the art of it!- +it was superlative. + +They are wonderful English scholars, these people; my lecture audience-- +all Hungarians--understood me perfectly--to judge by the effects. The +English clergyman told me that in his congregation are 150 young English +women who earn their living teaching their language; and that there are. +others besides these. + +For 60 cents a week the telephone reads the morning news to you at home; +gives you the stocks and markets at noon; gives you lessons in 3 foreign +languages during 3 hours; gives you the afternoon telegrams; and at night +the concerts and operas. Of course even the clerks and seamstresses and +bootblacks and everybody else are subscribers. + +(Correction. Mrs. Clemens says it is 60 cents a month.) + +I am renewing my youth. I made 4 speeches at one banquet here last +Saturday night. And I've been to a lot of football matches. + +Jean has been in here examining the poll for the Immortals ("Literature," +March 24,) in the hope, I think, that at last she should find me at the +top and you in second place; and if that is her ambition she has suffered +disappointment for the third time--and will never fare any better, I +hope, for you are where you belong, by every right. She wanted to know +who it is that does the voting, but I was not able to tell her. Nor when +the election will be completed and decided. + +Next Morning. I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every +morning--well knowing that I shall find in it the usual depravities and +basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and +cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the +human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not +despair. + +(Escaped from) 5 o'clock tea. ('sh!) Oh, the American girl in Europe! +Often she is creditable, but sometimes she is just shocking. This one, +a minute ago--19, fat-face, raspy voice, pert ways, the self-complacency +of God; and with it all a silly laugh (embarrassed) which kept breaking +out through her chatter all along, whereas there was no call for it, for +she said nothing that was funny. "Spose so many 've told y' how they +'njoyed y'r chapt'r on the Germ' tongue it's bringin' coals to Newcastle +Kehe! say anything 'bout it Ke-hehe! Spent m' vacation 'n Russia, 'n +saw Tolstoi; he said--" It made me shudder. + +April 12. Jean has been in here with a copy of Literature, complaining +that I am again behind you in the election of the 10 consecrated members; +and seems troubled about it and not quite able to understand it. But I +have explained to her that you are right there on the ground, inside the +pool-booth, keeping game--and that that makes a large difference in these +things. + +13th. I have been to the Knustausstellung with Mrs. Clemens. The office +of art seems to be to grovel in the dirt before Emperors and this and +that and the other damned breed of priests. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Howells and Clemens were corresponding regularly again, though not + with the frequency of former years. Perhaps neither of them was + bubbling over with things to say; perhaps it was becoming yearly + less attractive to pick up a pen and write, and then, of course, + there was always the discouragement of distance. Once Howells + wrote: "I know this will find you in Austria before I can well turn + round, but I must make believe you are in Kennebunkport before I can + begin it." And in another letter: "It ought to be as pleasant to + sit down and write to you as to sit down and talk to you, but it + isn't..... The only reason why I write is that I want another + letter from you, and because I have a whole afternoon for the job. + I have the whole of every afternoon, for I cannot work later than + lunch. I am fagged by that time, and Sunday is the only day that + brings unbearable leisure. I hope you will be in New York another + winter; then I shall know what to do with these foretastes of + eternity." + + Clemens usually wrote at considerable length, for he had a good deal + to report of his life in the Austrian capital, now drawing to a + close. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + May 12, 1899. +DEAR HOWELLS,--7.15 p. m. Tea (for Mr. and Mrs. Tower, who are leaving +for Russia) just over; nice people and rather creditable to the human +race: Mr. and Mrs. Tower; the new Minister and his wife; the Secretary of +Legation; the Naval (and Military) Attach; several English ladies; an +Irish lady; a Scotch lady; a particularly nice young Austrian baron who +wasn't invited but came and went supposing it was the usual thing and +wondered at the unusually large gathering; two other Austrians and +several Americans who were also in his fix; the old Baronin Langeman, +the only Austrian invited; the rest were Americans. It made just a +comfortable crowd in our parlor, with an overflow into Clara's through +the folding doors. I don't enjoy teas, and am daily spared them by Mrs. +Clemens, but this was a pleasant one. I had only one accident. The old +Baronin Langeman is a person I have a strong fondness for, for we +violently disagree on some subjects and as violently agree on others-- +for instance, she is temperance and I am not: she has religious beliefs +and feelings and I have none; (she's a Methodist!) she is a democrat and +so am I; she is woman's rights and so am I; she is laborers' rights and +approves trades unions and strikes, and that is me. And so on. After +she was gone an English lady whom I greatly like, began to talk sharply +against her for contributing money, time, labor, and public expression of +favor to a strike that is on (for an 11-hour day) in the silk factories +of Bohemia--and she caught me unprepared and betrayed me into over-warm +argument. I am sorry: for she didn't know anything about the subject, +and I did; and one should be gentle with the ignorant, for they are the +chosen of God. + +(The new Minister is a good man, but out of place. The Sec. of Legation +is a good man, but out of place. The Attache is a good man, but out of +place. Our government for displacement beats the new White Star ship; +and her possible is 17,200 tons.) + +May 13, 4 p. m. A beautiful English girl and her handsome English +husband came up and spent the evening, and she certainly is a bird. +English parents--she was born and reared in Roumania and couldn't talk +English till she was 8 or 10. She came up clothed like the sunset, and +was a delight to look at. (Roumanian costume.)..... + +Twenty-four young people have gone out to the Semmering to-day (and to- +morrow) and Mrs. Clemens and an English lady and old Leschetitzky and his +wife have gone to chaperon them. They gave me a chance to go, but there +are no snow mountains that I want to look at. Three hours out, three +hours back, and sit up all night watching the young people dance; yelling +conversationally and being yelled at, conversationally, by new +acquaintances, through the deafening music, about how I like Vienna, and +if it's my first visit, and how long we expect to stay, and did I see the +foot-washing, and am I writing a book about Vienna, and so on. The terms +seemed too severe. Snow mountains are too dear at the price .... + +For several years I have been intending to stop writing for print as soon +as I could afford it. At last I can afford it, and have put the pot- +boiler pen away. What I have been wanting is a chance to write a book +without reserves--a book which should take account of no one's feelings, +and no one's prejudices, opinions, beliefs, hopes, illusions, delusions; +a book which should say my say, right out of my heart, in the plainest +language and without a limitation of any sort. I judged that that would +be an unimaginable luxury, heaven on earth. + +It is under way, now, and it is a luxury! an intellectual drunk: Twice I +didn't start it right; and got pretty far in, both times, before I found +it out. But I am sure it is started right this time. It is in tale- +form. I believe I can make it tell what I think of Man, and how he is +constructed, and what a shabby poor ridiculous thing he is, and how +mistaken he is in his estimate of his character and powers and qualities +and his place among the animals. + +So far, I think I am succeeding. I let the madam into the secret day +before yesterday, and locked the doors and read to her the opening +chapters. She said-- + +"It is perfectly horrible--and perfectly beautiful!" + +"Within the due limits of modesty, that is what I think." + +I hope it will take me a year or two to write it, and that it will turn +out to be the right vessel to contain all the abuse I am planning to dump +into it. + Yours ever + MARK. + + + The story mentioned in the foregoing, in which Mark Twain was to + give his opinion of man, was The Mysterious Stranger. It was not + finished at the time, and its closing chapter was not found until + after his death. Six years later (1916) it was published serially + in Harper's Magazine, and in book form. + + The end of May found the Clemens party in London, where they were + received and entertained with all the hospitality they had known in + earlier years. Clemens was too busy for letter-writing, but in the + midst of things he took time to report to Howells an amusing + incident of one of their entertainments. + + + To W. D. Howells, in America: + + LONDON, July 3, '99 +DEAR HOWELLS,--..... I've a lot of things to write you, but it's no use-- +I can't get time for anything these days. I must break off and write a +postscript to Canon Wilberforce before I go to bed. This afternoon he +left a luncheon-party half an hour ahead of the rest, and carried off my +hat (which has Mark Twain in a big hand written in it.) When the rest of +us came out there was but one hat that would go on my head--it fitted +exactly, too. So wore it away. It had no name in it, but the Canon was +the only man who was absent. I wrote him a note at 8 p.m.; saying that +for four hours I had not been able to take anything that did not belong +to me, nor stretch a fact beyond the frontiers of truth, and my family +were getting alarmed. Could he explain my trouble? And now at 8.30 p.m. +comes a note from him to say that all the afternoon he has been +exhibiting a wonder-compelling mental vivacity and grace of expression, +etc., etc., and have I missed a hat? Our letters have crossed. + Yours ever + MARK. + + + News came of the death of Robert Ingersoll. Clemens had been always + one of his most ardent admirers, and a warm personal friend. To + Ingersoll's niece he sent a word of heartfelt sympathy. + + + To Miss Eva Farrell, in New York: + + 30 WELLINGTON COURT, ALBERT GATE. +DEAR MISS FARRELL,--Except my daughter's, I have not grieved for any +death as I have grieved for his. His was a great and beautiful spirit, +he was a man--all man from his crown to his foot soles. My reverence for +him was deep and genuine; I prized his affection for me and returned it +with usury. + Sincerely Yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens and family decided to spend the summer in Sweden, at Sauna, + in order to avail themselves of osteopathic treatment as practised + by Heinrick Kellgren. Kellgren's method, known as the "Swedish + movements," seemed to Mark Twain a wonderful cure for all ailments, + and he heralded the discovery far and wide. He wrote to friends far + and near advising them to try Kellgren for anything they might + happen to have. Whatever its beginning, any letter was likely to + close with some mention of the new panacea. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, traveling in Europe: + + SANNA, Sept. 6, '99. +DEAR JOE,--I've no business in here--I ought to be outside. I shall +never see another sunset to begin with it this side of heaven. Venice? +land, what a poor interest that is! This is the place to be. I have +seen about 60 sunsets here; and a good 40 of them were clear and away +beyond anything I had ever imagined before for dainty and exquisite and +marvellous beauty and infinite change and variety. America? Italy? The +tropics? They have no notion of what a sunset ought to be. And this +one--this unspeakable wonder! It discounts all the rest. It brings the +tears, it is so unutterably beautiful. + +If I had time, I would say a word about this curative system here. The +people actually do several of the great things the Christian Scientists +pretend to do. You wish to advise with a physician about it? Certainly. +There is no objection. He knows next to something about his own trade, +but that will not embarrass him in framing a verdict about this one. +I respect your superstitions--we all have them. It would be quite +natural for the cautious Chinaman to ask his native priest to instruct +him as to the value of the new religious specialty which the Western +missionary is trying to put on the market, before investing in it. (He +would get a verdict.) + Love to you all! + Always Yours + MARK. + + Howells wrote that he was going on a reading-tour-dreading it, of + course-and asking for any advice that Clemens felt qualified to + give. Naturally, Clemens gave him the latest he had in stock, + without realizing, perhaps, that he was recommending an individual + practice which few would be likely to imitate. Nevertheless, what + he says is interesting. + + + To W. D. Howells, in America: + + SANNA, SWEDEN, Sept. 26, '99. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Get your lecture by heart--it will pay you. I learned a +trick in Vienna--by accident--which I wish I had learned years ago. I +meant to read from a Tauchnitz, because I knew I hadn't well memorized +the pieces; and I came on with the book and read a few sentences, then +remembered that the sketch needed a few words of explanatory +introduction; and so, lowering the book and now and then unconsciously +using it to gesture with, I talked the introduction, and it happened to +carry me into the sketch itself, and then I went on, pretending that I +was merely talking extraneous matter and would come to the sketch +presently. It was a beautiful success. I knew the substance of the +sketch and the telling phrases of it; and so, the throwing of the rest of +it into informal talk as I went along limbered it up and gave it the snap +and go and freshness of an impromptu. I was to read several pieces, and +I played the same game with all of them, and always the audience thought +I was being reminded of outside things and throwing them in, and was +going to hold up the book and begin on the sketch presently--and so I +always got through the sketch before they were entirely sure that it had +begun. I did the same thing in Budapest and had the same good time over +again. It's a new dodge, and the best one that was ever invented. Try +it. You'll never lose your audience--not even for a moment. Their +attention is fixed, and never wavers. And that is not the case where one +reads from book or MS., or where he stands up without a note and frankly +exposes the fact, by his confident manner and smooth phrasing, that he is +not improvising, but reciting from memory. And in the heat of telling a +thing that is memorised in substance only, one flashes out the happiest +suddenly-begotten phrases every now and then! Try it. Such a phrase has +a life and sparkle about it that twice as good a one could not exhibit if +prepared beforehand, and it "fetches" an audience in such an enthusing +and inspiring and uplifting way that that lucky phrase breeds another +one, sure. + +Your September instalment--["Their Silver Wedding journey."]-- was +delicious--every word of it. You haven't lost any of your splendid art. +Callers have arrived. + With love + MARK. + + + "Yes," wrote Howells, "if I were a great histrionic artist like you + I would get my poor essays by heart, and recite them, but being what + I am I should do the thing so lifelessly that I had better recognise + their deadness frankly and read them." + + From Vienna Clemens had contributed to the Cosmopolitan, then owned + by John Brisben Walker, his first article on Christian Science. It + was a delicious bit of humor and found such enthusiastic + appreciation that Walker was moved to send an additional $200 check + in payment for it. This brought prompt acknowledgment. + + + To John Brisben Walker, in Irvington, N. Y.: + + LONDON, Oct. 19, '99 +DEAR MR. WALKER,--By gracious but you have a talent for making a man feel +proud and good! To say a compliment well is a high art--and few possess +it. You know how to do it, and when you confirm its sincerity with a +handsome cheque the limit is reached and compliment can no higher go. +I like to work for you: when you don't approve an article you say so, +recognizing that I am not a child and can stand it; and when you approve +an article I don't have to dicker with you as if I raised peanuts and you +kept a stand; I know I shall get every penny the article is worth. + +You have given me very great pleasure, and I thank you for it. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + On the same day he sent word to Howells of the good luck which now + seemed to be coming his way. The Joan of Arc introduction was the + same that today appears in his collected works under the title of + Saint Joan of Arc. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + LONDON, Oct. 19, '99. +DEAR HOWELLS,--My, it's a lucky day!--of the sort when it never rains but +it pours. I was to write an introduction to a nobler book--the English +translation of the Official Record (unabridged) of the Trials and +Rehabilitation of Joan of Arc, and make a lot of footnotes. I wrote the +introduction in Sweden, and here a few days ago I tore loose from a tale +I am writing, and took the MS book and went at the grind of note-making +--a fearful job for a man not used to it. This morning brought a note +from my excellent friend Murray, a rich Englishman who edits the +translation, saying, "Never mind the notes--we'll make the translators do +them." That was comfort and joy. + +The same mail brought a note from Canon Wilberforce, asking me to talk +Joan of Arc in his drawing-room to the Dukes and Earls and M. P.'s-- +(which would fetch me out of my seclusion and into print, and I couldn't +have that,) and so of course I must run down to the Abbey and explain-- +and lose an hour. Just then came Murray and said "Leave that to me +--I'll go and do the explaining and put the thing off 3 months; you write +a note and tell him I am coming." + +(Which I did, later. Wilberforce carried off my hat from a lunch party +last summer, and in to-day's note he said he wouldn't steal my new hat +this time. In my note I said I couldn't make the drawing-room talk, now +--Murray would explain; and added a P. S.: "You mustn't think it is +because I am afraid to trust my hat in your reach again, for I assure you +upon honor it isn't. I should bring my old one." + +I had suggested to Murray a fortnight ago, that he get some big guns to +write introductory monographs for the book. + +Miss X, Joan's Voices and Prophecies. + +The Lord Chief Justice of England, the legal prodigies which she +performed before her judges. + +Lord Roberts, her military genius. + +Kipling, her patriotism. + +And so on. When he came this morning he said he had captured Miss X; +that Lord Roberts and Kipling were going to take hold and see if they +could do monographs worthy of the book. He hadn't run the others to +cover yet, but was on their track. Very good news. It is a grand book, +and is entitled to the best efforts of the best people. As for me, I +took pains with my Introduction, and I admit that it is no slouch of a +performance. + +Then I came down to Chatto's, and found your all too beautiful letter, +and was lifted higher than ever. Next came letters from America properly +glorifying my Christian Science article in the Cosmopolitan (and one +roundly abusing it,) and a letter from John Brisben Walker enclosing $200 +additional pay for the article (he had already paid enough, but I didn't +mention that--which wasn't right of me, for this is the second time he +has done such a thing, whereas Gilder has done it only once and no one +else ever.) I make no prices with Walker and Gilder--I can trust them. + +And last of all came a letter from M-. How I do wish that man was in +hell. Even-the briefest line from that idiot puts me in a rage. + +But on the whole it has been a delightful day, and with M---- in hell it +would have been perfect. But that will happen, and I can wait. + +Ah, if I could look into the inside of people as you do, and put it on +paper, and invent things for them to do and say, and tell how they said +it, I could writs a fine and readable book now, for I've got a prime +subject. I've written 30,000 words of it and satisfied myself that the +stuff is there; so I am going to discard that MS and begin all over again +and have a good time with it. + +Oh, I know how you feel! I've been in hell myself. You are there +tonight. By difference in time you are at luncheon, now--and not eating +it. Nothing is so lonesome as gadding around platforming. I have +declined 45 lectures to-day-England and Scotland. I wanted the money, +but not the torture: Good luck to you!--and repentance. + With love to all of you + MARK. + + + + + +LETTERS OF 1900, MAINLY TO TWICHELL. THE BOER WAR. BOXER TROUBLES. +THE RETURN TO AMERICA + +The New Year found Clemens still in London, chiefly interested in +osteopathy and characteristically glorifying the practice at the expense +of other healing methods. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LONDON, Jan. 8, 1900. +DEAR JOE,--Mental Telepathy has scored another. Mental Telegraphy will +be greatly respected a century hence. + +By the accident of writing my sister and describing to her the remarkable +cures made by Kellgren with his hands and without drugs, I brought upon +myself a quite stunning surprise; for she wrote to me that she had been +taking this very treatment in Buffalo--and that it was an American +invention. + +Well, it does really turn out that Dr. Still, in the middle of Kansas, in +a village, began to experiment in 1874, only five years after Kellgren +began the same work obscurely in the village of Gotha, in Germany. Dr. +Still seems to be an honest man; therefore I am persuaded that Kellgren +moved him to his experiments by Mental Telegraphy across six hours of +longitude, without need of a wire. By the time Still began to +experiment, Kellgren had completed his development of the principles of +his system and established himself in a good practice in London--1874 +--and was in good shape to convey his discovery to Kansas, Mental +Telegraphically. + +Yes, I was greatly surprised to find that my mare's nest was much in +arrears: that this new science was well known in America under the name +of Osteopathy. Since then, I find that in the past 3 years it has got +itself legalized in 14 States in spite of the opposition of the +physicians; that it has established 20 Osteopathic schools and colleges; +that among its students are 75 allopathic physicians; that there is a +school in Boston and another in Philadelphia, that there are about 100 +students in the parent college (Dr. Still's at Kirksville, Missouri,) and +that there are about 2,000 graduates practicing in America. Dear me, +there are not 30 in Europe. Europe is so sunk in superstitions and +prejudices that it is an almost impossible thing to get her to do +anything but scoff at a new thing--unless it come from abroad; as witness +the telegraph, dentistry, &c. + +Presently the Osteopath will come over here from America and will soon +make himself a power that must be recognized and reckoned with; and then, +25 years from now, England will begin to claim the invention and tell all +about its origin, in the Cyclopedia B----- as in the case of the +telegraph, applied anaesthetics and the other benefactions which she +heaped her abuse upon when her inventors first offered them to her. + +I cannot help feeling rather inordinately proud of America for the gay +and hearty way in which she takes hold of any new thing that comes along +and gives it a first rate trial. Many an ass in America, is getting a +deal of benefit out of X-Science's new exploitation of an age-old healing +principle--faith, combined with the patient's imagination--let it boom +along! I have no objection. Let them call it by what name they choose, +so long as it does helpful work among the class which is numerically +vastly the largest bulk of the human race, i.e. the fools, the idiots, +the pudd'nheads. + +We do not guess, we know that 9 in 10 of the species are pudd'nheads. +We know it by various evidences; and one of them is, that for ages the +race has respected (and almost venerated) the physician's grotesque +system--the emptying of miscellaneous and harmful drugs into a person's +stomach to remove ailments which in many cases the drugs could not reach +at all; in many cases could reach and help, but only at cost of damage to +some other part of the man; and in the remainder of the cases the drug +either retarded the cure, or the disease was cured by nature in spite of +the nostrums. The doctor's insane system has not only been permitted to +continue its follies for ages, but has been protected by the State and +made a close monopoly--an infamous thing, a crime against a free-man's +proper right to choose his own assassin or his own method of defending +his body against disease and death. + +And yet at the same time, with curious and senile inconsistency, the +State has allowed the man to choose his own assassin--in one detail--the +patent-medicine detail--making itself the protector of that perilous +business, collecting money out of it, and appointing no committee of +experts to examine the medicines and forbid them when extra dangerous. +Really, when a man can prove that he is not a jackass, I think he is in +the way to prove that he is no legitimate member of the race. + +I have by me a list of 52 human ailments--common ones--and in this list I +count 19 which the physician's art cannot cure. But there isn't one +which Osteopathy or Kellgren cannot cure, if the patient comes early. + +Fifteen years ago I had a deep reverence for the physician and the +surgeon. But 6 months of closely watching the Kellgren business has +revolutionized all that, and now I have neither reverence nor respect for +the physician's trade, and scarcely any for the surgeon's,--I am +convinced that of all quackeries, the physician's is the grotesquest and +the silliest. And they know they are shams and humbugs. They have taken +the place of those augurs who couldn't look each other in the face +without laughing. + +See what a powerful hold our ancient superstitions have upon us: two +weeks ago, when Livy committed an incredible imprudence and by +consequence was promptly stricken down with a heavy triple attack-- +influenza, bronchitis, and a lung affected--she recognized the gravity of +the situation, and her old superstitions rose: she thought she ought to +send for a doctor--Think of it--the last man in the world I should want +around at such a time. Of course I did not say no--not that I was +indisposed to take the responsibility, for I was not, my notion of a +dangerous responsibility being quite the other way--but because it is +unsafe to distress a sick person; I only said we knew no good doctor, +and it could not be good policy to choose at hazard; so she allowed me to +send for Kellgren. To-day she is up and around-Lured. It is safe to say +that persons hit in the same way at the same time are in bed yet, and +booked to stay there a good while, and to be in a shackly condition and +afraid of their shadows for a couple of years or more to come. + +It will be seen by the foregoing that Mark Twain's interest in the +Kellgren system was still an ardent one. Indeed, for a time he gave most +of his thought to it, and wrote several long appreciations, perhaps with +little idea of publication, but merely to get his enthusiasm physically +expressed. War, however, presently supplanted medicine--the Boer +troubles in South Africa and the Boxer insurrection in China. It was a +disturbing, exciting year. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + WELLINGTON COURT, KNIGHTSBRIDGE, + Jan. 25, 1900. +DEAR HOWELLS,--If you got half as much as Pond prophesied, be content and +praise God--it has not happened to another. But I am sorry he didn't go +with you; for it is marvelous to hear him yarn. He is good company, +cheery and hearty, and his mill is never idle. Your doing a lecture tour +was heroic. It was the highest order of grit, and you have a right to be +proud of yourself. No mount of applause or money or both could save it +from being a hell to a man constituted as you are. It is that even to +me, who am made of coarser stuff. + +I knew the audiences would come forward and shake hands with you--that +one infallible sign of sincere approval. In all my life, wherever it +failed me I left the hall sick and ashamed, knowing what it meant. + +Privately speaking, this is a sordid and criminal war, and in every way +shameful and excuseless. Every day I write (in my head) bitter magazine +articles about it, but I have to stop with that. For England must not +fall; it would mean an inundation of Russian and German political +degradations which would envelop the globe and steep it in a sort of +Middle-Age night and slavery which would last till Christ comes again. +Even wrong--and she is wrong--England must be upheld. He is an enemy of +the human race who shall speak against her now. Why was the human race +created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of +it. God had his opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, +He must commit this grotesque folly--a lark which must have cost him a +regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects. For a +giddy and unbecoming caprice there has been nothing like it till this +war. I talk the war with both sides--always waiting until the other man +introduces the topic. Then I say "My head is with the Briton, but my +heart and such rags of morals as I have are with the Boer--now we will +talk, unembarrassed and without prejudice." And so we discuss, and have +no trouble. + + Jan. 26. +It was my intention to make some disparaging remarks about the human +race; and so I kept this letter open for that purpose, and for the +purpose of telling my dream, wherein the Trinity were trying to guess a +conundrum, but I can do better--for I can snip out of the "Times" various +samples and side-lights which bring the race down to date, and expose it +as of yesterday. If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a +paper which fails to show up one or more members and beneficiaries of our +Civilization as promenading in his shirt-tail, with the rest of his +regalia in the wash. + +I love to see the holy ones air their smug pieties and admire them and +smirk over them, and at the same moment frankly and publicly show their +contempt for the pieties of the Boer--confidently expecting the approval +of the country and the pulpit, and getting it. + +I notice that God is on both sides in this war; thus history repeats +itself. But I am the only person who has noticed this; everybody here +thinks He is playing the game for this side, and for this side only. + + With great love to you all + MARK. + + + One cannot help wondering what Mark Twain would have thought of + human nature had he lived to see the great World War, fought mainly + by the Christian nations who for nearly two thousand years had been + preaching peace on earth and goodwill toward men. But his opinion + of the race could hardly have been worse than it was. And nothing + that human beings could do would have surprised him. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LONDON, Jan. 27, 1900. +DEAR JOE,--Apparently we are not proposing to set the Filipinos free and +give their islands to them; and apparently we are not proposing to hang +the priests and confiscate their property. If these things are so, the +war out there has no interest for me. + +I have just been examining chapter LXX of "Following the Equator," to see +if the Boer's old military effectiveness is holding out. It reads +curiously as if it had been written about the present war. + +I believe that in the next chapter my notion of the Boer was rightly +conceived. He is popularly called uncivilized, I do not know why. +Happiness, food, shelter, clothing, wholesale labor, modest and rational +ambitions, honesty, kindliness, hospitality, love of freedom and +limitless courage to fight for it, composure and fortitude in time of +disaster, patience in time of hardship and privation, absence of noise +and brag in time of victory, contentment with a humble and peaceful life +void of insane excitements--if there is a higher and better form of +civilization than this, I am not aware of it and do not know where to +look for it. I suppose we have the habit of imagining that a lot of +artistic, intellectual and other artificialities must be added, or it +isn't complete. We and the English have these latter; but as we lack the +great bulk of these others, I think the Boer civilization is the best of +the two. My idea of our civilization is that it is a shabby poor thing +and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogancies, meannesses, and +hypocrisies. As for the word, I hate the sound of it, for it conveys a +lie; and as for the thing itself, I wish it was in hell, where it +belongs. + +Provided we could get something better in the place of it. But that is +not possible, perhaps. Poor as it is, it is better than real savagery, +therefore we must stand by it, extend it, and (in public) praise it. +And so we must not utter any hateful word about England in these days, +nor fail to hope that she will win in this war, for her defeat and fall +would be an irremediable disaster for the mangy human race.... Naturally, +then, I am for England; but she is profoundly in the wrong, Joe, and no +(instructed) Englishman doubts it. At least that is my belief. + +Maybe I managed to make myself misunderstood, as to the Osteopathists. +I wanted to know how the men impress you. As to their Art, I know fairly +well about that, and should not value Hartford's opinion of it; nor a +physician's; nor that of another who proposed to enlighten me out of his +ignorance. Opinions based upon theory, superstition and ignorance are +not very precious. + +Livy and the others are off for the country for a day or two. + Love to you all + MARK. + + + The next letter affords a pleasant variation. Without doubt it was + written on realizing that good nature and enthusiasm had led him + into indiscretion. This was always happening to him, and letters + like this are not infrequent, though generally less entertaining. + + + To Mr. Ann, in London: + + WELLINGTON COURT, Feb. 23, '00. +DEAR MR. ANN,--Upon sober second thought, it won't do!--I withdraw that +letter. Not because I said anything in it which is not true, for I +didn't; but because when I allow my name to be used in forwarding a +stock-scheme I am assuming a certain degree of responsibility as toward +the investor, and I am not willing to do that. I have another objection, +a purely selfish one: trading upon my name, whether the enterprise scored +a success or a failure would damage me. I can't afford that; even the +Archbishop of Canterbury couldn't afford it, and he has more character to +spare than I have. (Ah, a happy thought! If he would sign the letter +with me that would change the whole complexion of the thing, of course. +I do not know him, yet I would sign any commercial scheme that he would +sign. As he does not know me, it follows that he would sign anything +that I would sign. This is unassailable logic--but really that is all +that can be said for it.) + +No, I withdraw the letter. This virgin is pure up to date, and is going +to remain so. + Ys sincerely, + S. L. C. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + WELLINGTON COURT, + KNIGHTSBRIDGE, Mch. 4, '00. +DEAR JOE,-- Henry Robinson's death is a sharp wound to me, and it goes +very deep. I had a strong affection for him, and I think he had for me. +Every Friday, three-fourths of the year for 16 years he was of the +billiard-party in our house. When we come home, how shall we have +billiard-nights again--with no Ned Bunce and no Henry Robinson? +I believe I could not endure that. We must find another use for that +room. Susy is gone, George is gone, Libby Hamersley, Ned Bunce, Henry +Robinson. The friends are passing, one by one; our house, where such +warm blood and such dear blood flowed so freely, is become a cemetery. +But not in any repellent sense. Our dead are welcome there; their life +made it beautiful, their death has hallowed it, we shall have them with +us always, and there will be no parting. + +It was a moving address you made over Ward Cheney--that fortunate, youth! +Like Susy, he got out of life all that was worth the living, and got his +great reward before he had crossed the tropic frontier of dreams and +entered the Sahara of fact. The deep consciousness of Susy's good +fortune is a constant comfort to me. + +London is happy-hearted at last. The British victories have swept the +clouds away and there are no uncheerful faces. For three months the +private dinner parties (we go to no public ones) have been Lodges of +Sorrow, and just a little depressing sometimes; but now they are smiley +and animated again. Joe, do you know the Irish gentleman and the Irish +lady, the Scotch gentleman and the Scotch lady? These are darlings, +every one. Night before last it was all Irish--24. One would have to +travel far to match their ease and sociability and animation and sparkle +and absence of shyness and self-consciousness. + +It was American in these fine qualities. This was at Mr. Lecky's. He is +Irish, you know. Last night it was Irish again, at Lady Gregory's. Lord +Roberts is Irish; and Sir William Butler; and Kitchener, I think; and a +disproportion of the other prominent Generals are of Irish and Scotch +breed-keeping up the traditions of Wellington, and Sir Colin Campbell of +the Mutiny. You will have noticed that in S. A. as in the Mutiny, it is +usually the Irish and the Scotch that are placed in the fore-front of the +battle. An Irish friend of mine says this is because the Kelts are +idealists, and enthusiasts, with age-old heroisms to emulate and keep +bright before the world; but that the low-class Englishman is dull and +without ideals, fighting bull-doggishly while he has a leader, but losing +his head and going to pieces when his leader falls--not so with the Kelt. +Sir Wm. Butler said "the Kelt is the spear-head of the British lance." + Love to you all. + MARK. + + + The Henry Robinson mentioned in the foregoing letter was Henry C. + Robinson, one-time Governor of Connecticut, long a dear and intimate + friend of the Clemens household. "Lecky" was W. E. H. Lecky, the + Irish historian whose History of European Morals had been, for many + years, one of Mark Twain's favorite books: + + In July the Clemenses left the small apartment at 30 Wellington + Court and established a summer household a little way out of London, + at Dollis Hill. To-day the place has been given to the public under + the name of Gladstone Park, so called for the reason that in an + earlier time Gladstone had frequently visited there. It was a + beautiful spot, a place of green grass and spreading oaks. In a + letter in which Mrs. Clemens wrote to her sister she said: "It is + simply divinely beautiful and peaceful; the great, old trees are + beyond everything. I believe nowhere in the world do you find such + trees as in England." Clemens wrote to Twichell: "From the house + you can see little but spacious stretches of hay-fields and green + turf..... Yet the massed, brick blocks of London are reachable in + three minutes on a horse. By rail we can be in the heart of London, + in Baker Street, in seventeen minutes--by a smart train in five." + + Mail, however, would seem to have been less prompt. + + + To the Editor of the Times, in London: + +SIR,--It has often been claimed that the London postal service was +swifter than that of New York, and I have always believed that the claim +was justified. But a doubt has lately sprung up in my mind. I live +eight miles from Printing House Square; the Times leaves that point at 4 +o'clock in the morning, by mail, and reaches me at 5 in the afternoon, +thus making the trip in thirteen hours. + +It is my conviction that in New York we should do it in eleven. + + C. +DOLLIS HILL, N. W. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + DOLLIS HILL HOUSE, KILBURN, N. W. + LONDON, Aug. 12, '00. +DEAR JOE,--The Sages Prof. Fiske and Brander Matthews were out here to +tea a week ago and it was a breath of American air to see them. We +furnished them a bright day and comfortable weather--and they used it all +up, in their extravagant American way. Since then we have sat by coal +fires, evenings. + +We shall sail for home sometime in October, but shall winter in New York +where we can have an osteopath of good repute to continue the work of +putting this family in proper condition. + +Livy and I dined with the Chief justice a month ago and he was as well- +conditioned as an athlete. + +It is all China, now, and my sympathies are with the Chinese. They have +been villainously dealt with by the sceptred thieves of Europe, and I +hope they will drive all the foreigners out and keep them out for good. +I only wish it; of course I don't really expect it. + +Why, hang it, it occurs to me that by the time we reach New York you +Twichells will be invading Europe and once more we shall miss the +connection. This is thoroughly exasperating. Aren't we ever going to +meet again? + With no end of love from all of us, + MARK. + +P. S. Aug. 18. +DEAR JOE,--It is 7.30 a. m. I have been waking very early, lately. If +it occurs once more, it will be habit; then I will submit and adopt it. + +This is our day of mourning. It is four years since Susy died; it is +five years and a month that I saw her alive for the last time-throwing +kisses at us from the railway platform when we started West around the +world. + +Sometimes it is a century; sometimes it was yesterday. + With love + MARK. + + + We discover in the foregoing letter that the long European residence + was drawing to an end. More than nine years had passed since the + closing of the Hartford house--eventful years that had seen failure, + bereavement, battle with debt, and rehabilitated fortunes. All the + family were anxious to get home--Mark Twain most anxious of all. + + They closed Dollis Hill House near the end of September, and put up + for a brief period at a family hotel, an amusing picture of which + follows. + + + To J. Y. M. MacAlister, in London: + + Sep. 1900. +MY DEAR MACALISTER,--We do really start next Saturday. I meant to sail +earlier, but waited to finish some studies of what are called Family +Hotels. They are a London specialty, God has not permitted them to exist +elsewhere; they are ramshackle clubs which were dwellings at the time of +the Heptarchy. Dover and Albemarle Streets are filled with them. The +once spacious rooms are split up into coops which afford as much +discomfort as can be had anywhere out of jail for any money. All the +modern inconveniences are furnished, and some that have been obsolete for +a century. The prices are astonishingly high for what you get. The +bedrooms are hospitals for incurable furniture. I find it so in this +one. They exist upon a tradition; they represent the vanishing home-like +inn of fifty years ago, and are mistaken by foreigners for it. Some +quite respectable Englishmen still frequent them through inherited habit +and arrested development; many Americans also, through ignorance and +superstition. The rooms are as interesting as the Tower of London, but +older I think. Older and dearer. The lift was a gift of William the +Conqueror, some of the beds are prehistoric. They represent geological +periods. Mine is the oldest. It is formed in strata of Old Red +Sandstone, volcanic tufa, ignis fatuus, and bicarbonate of hornblende, +superimposed upon argillaceous shale, and contains the prints of +prehistoric man. It is in No. 149. Thousands of scientists come to see +it. They consider it holy. They want to blast out the prints but +cannot. Dynamite rebounds from it. + +Finished studies and sail Saturday in Minnehaha. + Yours ever affectionately, + MARK TWAIN. + + + They sailed for New York October 6th, and something more than a week + later America gave them a royal welcome. The press, far and wide, + sounded Mark Twain's praises once more; dinners and receptions were + offered on every hand; editors and lecture agents clamored for him. + + The family settled in the Earlington Hotel during a period of house- + hunting. They hoped eventually to return to Hartford, but after a + brief visit paid by Clemens alone to the old place he wrote: + + + To Sylvester Baxter, in Boston: + + NEW YORK, Oct. 26, 1900. +DEAR MR. BAXTER,--It was a great pleasure to me to renew the other days +with you, and there was a pathetic pleasure in seeing Hartford and the +house again; but I realize that if we ever enter the house again to live, +our hearts will break. I am not sure that we shall ever be strong enough +to endure that strain. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Mr. and Mrs. Rogers wished to have them in their neighborhood, but + the houses there were not suitable, or were too expensive. Through + Mr. Frank Doubleday they eventually found, at 14 West Tenth Street, + a large residence handsomely furnished, and this they engaged for + the winter. "We were lucky to get this big house furnished," he + wrote MacAlister in London. "There was not another one in town + procurable that would answer us, but this one is all right--space + enough in it for several families, the rooms all old-fashioned, + great size." + + The little note that follows shows that Mark Twain had not entirely + forgotten the days of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. + + + To a Neighbor on West Tenth Street, New York: + + Nov. 30. +DEAR MADAM,--I know I ought to respect my duty and perform it, but I am +weak and faithless where boys are concerned, and I can't help secretly +approving pretty bad and noisy ones, though I do object to the kind that +ring door-bells. My family try to get me to stop the boys from holding +conventions on the front steps, but I basely shirk out of it, because I +think the boys enjoy it. + +My wife has been complaining to me this evening about the boys on the +front steps and under compulsion I have made some promises. But I am +very forgetful, now that I am old, and my sense of duty is getting +spongy. + Very truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters Vol. 4, by Mark Twain + diff --git a/old/mt4lt10.zip b/old/mt4lt10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c7498fe --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt4lt10.zip diff --git a/old/mt4lt11.txt b/old/mt4lt11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c0f4c1a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt4lt11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9058 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Letters of Mark Twain, Vol. 4 +#57 in our series by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before distributing this or any other +Project Gutenberg file. + +We encourage you to keep this file, exactly as it is, on your +own disk, thereby keeping an electronic path open for future +readers. 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The Clemens household was always given to + theatricals, and it was about this time that scenery and a stage + were prepared--mainly by the sculptor Gerhardt--for these home + performances, after which productions of The Prince and the Pauper + were given with considerable regularity to audiences consisting of + parents and invited friends. The subject is a fascinating one, but + it has been dwelt upon elsewhere.--[In Mark Twain: A Biography, + chaps. cliff and clx.]--We get a glimpse of one of these occasions + as well as of Mark Twain's financial progress in the next brief + note. + + To W. D. Howells; in Boston: + + Jan. 3, '86. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--The date set for the Prince and Pauper play is ten +days hence--Jan. 13. I hope you and Pilla can take a train that arrives +here during the day; the one that leaves Boston toward the end of the +afternoon would be a trifle late; the performance would have already +begun when you reached the house. + +I'm out of the woods. On the last day of the year I had paid out +$182,000 on the Grant book and it was totally free from debt. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Mark Twain's mother was a woman of sturdy character and with a keen + sense of humor and tender sympathies. Her husband, John Marshall + Clemens, had been a man of high moral character, honored by all who + knew him, respected and apparently loved by his wife. No one would + ever have supposed that during all her years of marriage, and almost + to her death, she carried a secret romance that would only be told + at last in the weary disappointment of old age. It is a curious + story, and it came to light in this curious way: + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, May 19, '86. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--..... Here's a secret. A most curious and pathetic +romance, which has just come to light. Read these things, but don't +mention them. Last fall, my old mother--then 82--took a notion to attend +a convention of old settlers of the Mississippi Valley in an Iowa town. +My brother's wife was astonished; and represented to her the hardships +and fatigues of such a trip, and said my mother might possibly not even +survive them; and said there could be no possible interest for her in +such a meeting and such a crowd. But my mother insisted, and persisted; +and finally gained her point. They started; and all the way my mother +was young again with excitement, interest, eagerness, anticipation. They +reached the town and the hotel. My mother strode with the same eagerness +in her eye and her step, to the counter, and said: + +"Is Dr. Barrett of St. Louis, here?" + +"No. He was here, but he returned to St. Louis this morning." + +"Will he come again?" + +"No." + +My mother turned away, the fire all gone from her, and said, "Let us go +home." + +They went straight back to Keokuk. My mother sat silent and thinking for +many days--a thing which had never happened before. Then one day she +said: + +"I will tell you a secret. When I was eighteen, a young medical student +named Barrett lived in Columbia (Ky.) eighteen miles away; and he used to +ride over to see me. This continued for some time. I loved him with my +whole heart, and I knew that he felt the same toward me, though no words +had been spoken. He was too bashful to speak--he could not do it. +Everybody supposed we were engaged--took it for granted we were--but we +were not. By and by there was to be a party in a neighboring town, and +he wrote my uncle telling him his feelings, and asking him to drive me +over in his buggy and let him (Barrett) drive me back, so that he might +have that opportunity to propose. My uncle should have done as he was +asked, without explaining anything to me; but instead, he read me the +letter; and then, of course, I could not go--and did not. He (Barrett) +left the country presently, and I, to stop the clacking tongues, and to +show him that I did not care, married, in a pet. In all these sixty-four +years I have not seen him since. I saw in a paper that he was going to +attend that Old Settlers' Convention. Only three hours before we reached +that hotel, he had been standing there!" + +Since then, her memory is wholly faded out and gone; and now she writes +letters to the school-mates who had been dead forty years, and wonders +why they neglect her and do not answer. + +Think of her carrying that pathetic burden in her old heart sixty-four +years, and no human being ever suspecting it! + Yrs ever, + MARK. + +We do not get the idea from this letter that those two long ago +sweethearts quarreled, but Mark Twain once spoke of their having done so, +and there may have been a disagreement, assuming that there was a +subsequent meeting. It does not matter, now. In speaking of it, Mark +Twain once said: "It is as pathetic a romance as any that has crossed the +field of my personal experience in a long lifetime."--[When Mark Twain: +A Biography was written this letter had not come to light, and the matter +was stated there in accordance with Mark Twain's latest memory of it.] + +Howells wrote: "After all, how poor and hackneyed all the inventions are +compared with the simple and stately facts. Who could have imagined such +a heart-break as that? Yet it went along with the fulfillment of +everyday duty and made no more noise than a grave under foot. I doubt if +fiction will ever get the knack of such things." + +Jane Clemens now lived with her son Orion and his wife, in Keokuk, where +she was more contented than elsewhere. In these later days her memory +had become erratic, her realization of events about her uncertain, but +there were times when she was quite her former self, remembering clearly +and talking with her old-time gaiety of spirit. Mark Twain frequently +sent her playful letters to amuse her, letters full of such boyish gaiety +as had amused her long years before. The one that follows is a fair +example. It was written after a visit which Clemens and his family had +paid to Keokuk. + + + To Jane Clemens, in Keokuk: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 7, '86. +DEAR MA,--I heard that Molly and Orion and Pamela had been sick, but I +see by your letter that they are much better now, or nearly well. When +we visited you a month ago, it seemed to us that your Keokuk weather was +pretty hot; Jean and Clara sat up in bed at Mrs. McElroy's and cried +about it, and so did I; but I judge by your letter that it has cooled +down, now, so that a person is comparatively comfortable, with his skin +off. Well it did need cooling; I remember that I burnt a hole in my +shirt, there, with some ice cream that fell on it; and Miss Jenkins told +me they never used a stove, but cooked their meals on a marble-topped +table in the drawing-room, just with the natural heat. If anybody else +had told me, I would not have believed it. I was told by the Bishop of +Keokuk that he did not allow crying at funerals, because it scalded the +furniture. If Miss Jenkins had told me that, I would have believed it. +This reminds me that you speak of Dr. Jenkins and his family as if they +were strangers to me. Indeed they are not. Don't you suppose I remember +gratefully how tender the doctor was with Jean when she hurt her arm, and +how quickly he got the pain out of the hurt, whereas I supposed it was +going to last at least an hour? No, I don't forget some things as easily +as I do others. + +Yes, it was pretty hot weather. Now here, when a person is going to die, +he is always in a sweat about where he is going to; but in Keokuk of +course they don't care, because they are fixed for everything. It has +set me reflecting, it has taught me a lesson. By and by, when my health +fails, I am going to put all my affairs in order, and bid good-bye to my +friends here, and kill all the people I don't like, and go out to Keokuk +and prepare for death. + +They are all well in this family, and we all send love. + Affly Your Son + SAM. + + + The ways of city officials and corporations are often past + understanding, and Mark Twain sometimes found it necessary to write + picturesque letters of protest. The following to a Hartford + lighting company is a fair example of these documents. + + + To a gas and electric-lighting company, in Hartford: + +GENTLEMEN,--There are but two places in our whole street where lights +could be of any value, by any accident, and you have measured and +appointed your intervals so ingeniously as to leave each of those places +in the centre of a couple of hundred yards of solid darkness. When I +noticed that you were setting one of your lights in such a way that I +could almost see how to get into my gate at night, I suspected that it +was a piece of carelessness on the part of the workmen, and would be +corrected as soon as you should go around inspecting and find it out. +My judgment was right; it is always right, when you axe concerned. For +fifteen years, in spite of my prayers and tears, you persistently kept a +gas lamp exactly half way between my gates, so that I couldn't find +either of them after dark; and then furnished such execrable gas that I +had to hang a danger signal on the lamp post to keep teams from running +into it, nights. Now I suppose your present idea is, to leave us a +little more in the dark. + +Don't mind us--out our way; we possess but one vote apiece, and no rights +which you are in any way bound to respect. Please take your electric +light and go to--but never mind, it is not for me to suggest; you will +probably find the way; and any way you can reasonably count on divine +assistance if you lose your bearings. + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + [Etext Editor's Note: Twain wrote another note to Hartford Gas and + Electric, which he may not have mailed and which Paine does not + include in these volumes: + "Gentleman:--Someday you are going to move me almost to the point + of irritation with your God-damned chuckle headed fashion of + turning off your God-damned gas without giving notice to your + God-damned parishioners--and you did it again last night--" + D.W.] + + Frequently Clemens did not send letters of this sort after they were + written. Sometimes he realized the uselessness of such protest, + sometimes the mere writing of them had furnished the necessary + relief, and he put, the letter away, or into the wastebasket, and + wrote something more temperate, or nothing at all. A few such + letters here follow. + + Clemens was all the time receiving application from people who + wished him to recommend one article or another; books, plays, + tobacco, and what not. They were generally persistent people, + unable to accept a polite or kindly denial. Once he set down some + remarks on this particular phase of correspondence. He wrote: + + +I + +No doubt Mr. Edison has been offered a large interest in many and many an +electrical project, for the use of his name to float it withal. And no +doubt all men who have achieved for their names, in any line of activity +whatever, a sure market value, have been familiar with this sort of +solicitation. Reputation is a hall-mark: it can remove doubt from pure +silver, and it can also make the plated article pass for pure. + +And so, people without a hall-mark of their own are always trying to get +the loan of somebody else's. + +As a rule, that kind of a person sees only one side of the case. He sees +that his invention or his painting or his book is--apparently--a trifle +better than you yourself can do, therefore why shouldn't you be willing +to put your hall-mark on it? You will be giving the purchaser his full +money's worth; so who is hurt, and where is the harm? Besides, are you +not helping a struggling fellow-craftsman, and is it not your duty to do +that? + +That side is plenty clear enough to him, but he can't and won't see the +other side, to-wit: that you are a rascal if you put your hall-mark upon +a thing which you did not produce yourself, howsoever good it may be. +How simple that is; and yet there are not two applicants in a hundred who +can, be made to see it. + +When one receives an application of this sort, his first emotion is an +indignant sense of insult; his first deed is the penning of a sharp +answer. He blames nobody but that other person. That person is a very +base being; he must be; he would degrade himself for money, otherwise it +would not occur to him that you would do such a thing. But all the same, +that application has done its work, and taken you down in your own +estimation. You recognize that everybody hasn't as high an opinion of +you as you have of yourself; and in spite of you there ensues an interval +during which you are not, in your own estimation as fine a bird as you +were before. + +However, being old and experienced, you do not mail your sharp letter, +but leave it lying a day. That saves you. For by that time you have +begun to reflect that you are a person who deals in exaggerations--and +exaggerations are lies. You meant yours to be playful, and thought you +made them unmistakably so. But you couldn't make them playfulnesses to a +man who has no sense of the playful and can see nothing but the serious +side of things. You rattle on quite playfully, and with measureless +extravagance, about how you wept at the tomb of Adam; and all in good +time you find to your astonishment that no end of people took you at your +word and believed you. And presently they find out that you were not in +earnest. They have been deceived; therefore, (as they argue--and there +is a sort of argument in it,) you are a deceiver. If you will deceive in +one way, why shouldn't you in another? So they apply for the use of your +trade-mark. You are amazed and affronted. You retort that you are not +that kind of person. Then they are amazed and affronted; and wonder +"since when?" + +By this time you have got your bearings. You realize that perhaps there +is a little blame on both sides. You are in the right frame, now. So +you write a letter void of offense, declining. You mail this one; you +pigeon-hole the other. + +That is, being old and experienced, you do, but early in your career, you +don't: you mail the first one. + + +II + +An enthusiast who had a new system of musical notation, wrote to me and +suggested that a magazine article from me, contrasting the absurdities of +the old system with the simplicities of his new one, would be sure to +make a "rousing hit." He shouted and shouted over the marvels wrought by +his system, and quoted the handsome compliments which had been paid it by +famous musical people; but he forgot to tell me what his notation was +like, or what its simplicities consisted in. So I could not have written +the article if I had wanted to--which I didn't; because I hate strangers +with axes to grind. I wrote him a courteous note explaining how busy I +was--I always explain how busy I am--and casually drooped this remark: + +"I judge the X-X notation to be a rational mode of representing music, in +place of the prevailing fashion, which was the invention of an idiot." + +Next mail he asked permission to print that meaningless remark. +I answered, no--courteously, but still, no; explaining that I could not +afford to be placed in the attitude of trying to influence people with a +mere worthless guess. What a scorcher I got, next mail! Such irony! +such sarcasm, such caustic praise of my superhonorable loyalty to the +public! And withal, such compassion for my stupidity, too, in not being +able to understand my own language. I cannot remember the words of this +letter broadside, but there was about a page used up in turning this idea +round and round and exposing it in different lights. + + Unmailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--What is the trouble with you? If it is your viscera, you +cannot have them taken out and reorganized a moment too soon. I mean, +if they are inside. But if you are composed of them, that is another +matter. Is it your brain? But it could not be your brain. Possibly it +is your skull: you want to look out for that. Some people, when they get +an idea, it pries the structure apart. Your system of notation has got +in there, and couldn't find room, without a doubt that is what the +trouble is. Your skull was not made to put ideas in, it was made to +throw potatoes at. + Yours Truly. + + + Mailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--Come, come--take a walk; you disturb the children. + Yours Truly. + + +There was a day, now happily nearly over, when certain newspapers made a +practice of inviting men distinguished in any walk of life to give their +time and effort without charge to express themselves on some subject of +the day, or perhaps they were asked to send their favorite passages in +prose or verse, with the reasons why. Such symposiums were "features" +that cost the newspapers only the writing of a number of letters, +stationery, and postage. To one such invitation Mark Twain wrote two +replies. They follow herewith: + + Unmailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--I have received your proposition--which you have imitated from +a pauper London periodical which had previously imitated the idea of this +sort of mendicancy from seventh-rate American journalism, where it +originated as a variation of the inexpensive "interview." + +Why do you buy Associated Press dispatches? To make your paper the more +salable, you answer. But why don't you try to beg them? Why do you +discriminate? I can sell my stuff; why should I give it to you? Why +don't you ask me for a shirt? What is the difference between asking me +for the worth of a shirt and asking me for the shirt itself? Perhaps you +didn't know you were begging. I would not use that argument--it makes +the user a fool. The passage of poetry--or prose, if you will--which has +taken deepest root in my thought, and which I oftenest return to and +dwell upon with keenest no matter what, is this: That the proper place +for journalists who solicit literary charity is on the street corner with +their hats in their hands. + + + Mailed Answer: + +DEAR SIR,--Your favor of recent date is received, but I am obliged by +press of work to decline. + + + The manager of a traveling theatrical company wrote that he had + taken the liberty of dramatizing Tom Sawyer, and would like also the + use of the author's name--the idea being to convey to the public + that it was a Mark Twain play. In return for this slight favor the + manager sent an invitation for Mark Twain to come and see the play-- + to be present on the opening night, as it were, at his (the + manager's) expense. He added that if the play should be a go in the + cities there might be some "arrangement" of profits. Apparently + these inducements did not appeal to Mark Twain. The long unmailed + reply is the more interesting, but probably the briefer one that + follows it was quite as effective. + + Unmailed Answer: + + HARTFORD, Sept. 8, '87. +DEAR SIR,--And so it has got around to you, at last; and you also have +"taken the liberty." You are No. 1365. When 1364 sweeter and better +people, including the author, have "tried" to dramatize Tom Sawyer and +did not arrive, what sort of show do you suppose you stand? That is a +book, dear sir, which cannot be dramatized. One might as well try to +dramatize any other hymn. Tom Sawyer is simply a hymn, put into prose +form to give it a worldly air. + +Why the pale doubt that flitteth dim and nebulous athwart the forecastle +of your third sentence? Have no fears. Your piece will be a Go. +It will go out the back door on the first night. They've all done it +--the 1364. So will 1365. Not one of us ever thought of the simple +device of half-soling himself with a stove-lid. Ah, what suffering a +little hindsight would have saved us. Treasure this hint. + +How kind of you to invite me to the funeral. Go to; I have attended a +thousand of them. I have seen Tom Sawyer's remains in all the different +kinds of dramatic shrouds there are. You cannot start anything fresh. +Are you serious when you propose to pay my expence--if that is the +Susquehannian way of spelling it? And can you be aware that I charge a +hundred dollars a mile when I travel for pleasure? Do you realize that +it is 432 miles to Susquehanna? Would it be handy for you to send me the +$43,200 first, so I could be counting it as I come along; because +railroading is pretty dreary to a sensitive nature when there's nothing +sordid to buck at for Zeitvertreib. + +Now as I understand it, dear and magnanimous 1365, you are going to +recreate Tom Sawyer dramatically, and then do me the compliment to put me +in the bills as father of this shady offspring. Sir, do you know that +this kind of a compliment has destroyed people before now? Listen. + +Twenty-four years ago, I was strangely handsome. The remains of it are +still visible through the rifts of time. I was so handsome that human +activities ceased as if spellbound when I came in view, and even +inanimate things stopped to look--like locomotives, and district +messenger boys and so-on. In San Francisco, in the rainy season I was +often mistaken for fair weather. Upon one occasion I was traveling in +the Sonora region, and stopped for an hour's nooning, to rest my horse +and myself. All the town came out to look. The tribes of Indians +gathered to look. A Piute squaw named her baby for me,--a voluntary +compliment which pleased me greatly. Other attentions were paid me. +Last of all arrived the president and faculty of Sonora University and +offered me the post of Professor of Moral Culture and the Dogmatic +Humanities; which I accepted gratefully, and entered at once upon my +duties. But my name had pleased the Indians, and in the deadly kindness +of their hearts they went on naming their babies after me. I tried to +stop it, but the Indians could not understand why I should object to so +manifest a compliment. The thing grew and grew and spread and spread and +became exceedingly embarrassing. The University stood it a couple of +years; but then for the sake of the college they felt obliged to call a +halt, although I had the sympathy of the whole faculty. The president +himself said to me, "I am as sorry as I can be for you, and would still +hold out if there were any hope ahead; but you see how it is: there are a +hundred and thirty-two of them already, and fourteen precincts to hear +from. The circumstance has brought your name into most wide and +unfortunate renown. It causes much comment--I believe that that is not +an over-statement. Some of this comment is palliative, but some of it +--by patrons at a distance, who only know the statistics without the +explanation,--is offensive, and in some cases even violent. Nine +students have been called home. The trustees of the college have been +growing more and more uneasy all these last months--steadily along with +the implacable increase in your census--and I will not conceal from you +that more than once they have touched upon the expediency of a change in +the Professorship of Moral Culture. The coarsely sarcastic editorial in +yesterday's Alta, headed Give the Moral Acrobat a Rest--has brought +things to a crisis, and I am charged with the unpleasant duty of +receiving your resignation." + +I know you only mean me a kindness, dear 1365, but it is a most deadly +mistake. Please do not name your Injun for me. Truly Yours. + + + Mailed Answer: + + NEW YORK, Sept. 8. 1887. +DEAR SIR,--Necessarily I cannot assent to so strange a proposition. And +I think it but fair to warn you that if you put the piece on the stage, +you must take the legal consequences. + Yours respectfully, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Before the days of international copyright no American author's + books were pirated more freely by Canadian publishers than those of + Mark Twain. It was always a sore point with him that these books, + cheaply printed, found their way into the United States, and were + sold in competition with his better editions. The law on the + subject seemed to be rather hazy, and its various interpretations + exasperating. In the next unmailed letter Mark Twain relieves + himself to a misguided official. The letter is worth reading today, + if for no other reason, to show the absurdity of copyright + conditions which prevailed at that time. + + + Unmailed Letter to H. C. Christiancy, on book Piracy: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 18, '87. +H. C. CHRISTIANCY, ESQ. + +DEAR SIR,--As I understand it, the position of the U. S. Government is +this: If a person be captured on the border with counterfeit bonds in his +hands--bonds of the N. Y. Central Railway, for instance--the procedure in +his case shall be as follows: + +1. If the N. Y. C. have not previously filed in the several police +offices along the border, proof of ownership of the originals of the +bonds, the government officials must collect a duty on the counterfeits, +and then let them go ahead and circulate in this country. + +2. But if there is proof already on file, then the N. Y. C. may pay the +duty and take the counterfeits. + +But in no case will the United States consent to go without its share of +the swag. It is delicious. The biggest and proudest government on earth +turned sneak-thief; collecting pennies on stolen property, and pocketing +them with a greasy and libidinous leer; going into partnership with +foreign thieves to rob its own children; and when the child escapes the +foreigner, descending to the abysmal baseness of hanging on and robbing +the infant all alone by itself! Dear sir, this is not any more +respectable than for a father to collect toll on the forced prostitution +of his own daughter; in fact it is the same thing. Upon these terms, +what is a U. S. custom house but a "fence?" That is all it is: a +legalized trader in stolen goods. + +And this nasty law, this filthy law, this unspeakable law calls itself a +"regulation for the protection of owners of copyright!" Can sarcasm go +further than that? In what way does it protect them? Inspiration itself +could not furnish a rational answer to that question. Whom does it +protect, then? Nobody, as far as I can see, but the foreign thief- +sometimes--and his fellow-footpad the U. S. government, all the time. +What could the Central Company do with the counterfeit bonds after it had +bought them of the star spangled banner Master-thief? Sell them at a +dollar apiece and fetch down the market for the genuine hundred-dollar +bond? What could I do with that 20-cent copy of "Roughing It" which the +United States has collared on the border and is waiting to release to me +for cash in case I am willing to come down to its moral level and help +rob myself? Sell it at ten or fifteen cents--duty added--and destroy the +market for the original $3,50 book? Who ever did invent that law? I +would like to know the name of that immortal jackass. + +Dear sir, I appreciate your courtesy in stretching your authority in the +desire to do me a kindness, and I sincerely thank you for it. But I have +no use for that book; and if I were even starving for it I would not pay +duty on in either to get it or suppress it. No doubt there are ways in +which I might consent to go into partnership with thieves and fences, +but this is not one of them. This one revolts the remains of my self- +respect; turns my stomach. I think I could companion with a highwayman +who carried a shot-gun and took many risks; yes, I think I should like +that if I were younger; but to go in with a big rich government that robs +paupers, and the widows and orphans of paupers and takes no risk--why the +thought just gags me. + +Oh, no, I shall never pay any duties on pirated books of mine. I am much +too respectable for that--yet awhile. But here--one thing that grovels +me is this: as far as I can discover--while freely granting that the +U. S. copyright laws are far and away the most idiotic that exist +anywhere on the face of the earth--they don't authorize the government to +admit pirated books into this country, toll or no toll. And so I think +that that regulation is the invention of one of those people--as a rule, +early stricken of God, intellectually--the departmental interpreters of +the laws, in Washington. They can always be depended on to take any +reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it. They +can be depended on, every time, to defeat a good law, and make it +inoperative--yes, and utterly grotesque, too, mere matter for laughter +and derision. Take some of the decisions of the Post-office Department, +for instance--though I do not mean to suggest that that asylum is any +worse than the others for the breeding and nourishing of incredible +lunatics--I merely instance it because it happens to be the first to come +into my mind. Take that case of a few years ago where the P. M. General +suddenly issued an edict requiring you to add the name of the State after +Boston, New York, Chicago, &c, in your superscriptions, on pain of having +your letter stopped and forwarded to the dead-letter office; yes, and I +believe he required the county, too. He made one little concession in +favor of New York: you could say "New York City," and stop there; but if +you left off the "city," you must add "N. Y." to your "New York." Why, +it threw the business of the whole country into chaos and brought +commerce almost to a stand-still. Now think of that! When that man goes +to--to--well, wherever he is going to--we shan't want the microscopic +details of his address. I guess we can find him. + +Well, as I was saying, I believe that this whole paltry and ridiculous +swindle is a pure creation of one of those cabbages that used to be at +the head of one of those Retreats down there--Departments, you know--and +that you will find it so, if you will look into it. And moreover--but +land, I reckon we are both tired by this time. + Truly Yours, + MARK TWAIN. + + + + + +XXVII + +MISCELLANEOUS LETTERS OF 1887. LITERARY ARTICLES. PEACEFUL DAYS AT THE +FARM. FAVORITE READING. APOLOGY TO MRS. CLEVELAND, ETC. + +We have seen in the preceding chapter how unknown aspirants in one field +or another were always seeking to benefit by Mark Twain's reputation. +Once he remarked, "The symbol of the human race ought to be an ax; every +human being has one concealed about him somewhere." He declared when a +stranger called on him, or wrote to him, in nine cases out of ten he +could distinguish the gleam of the ax almost immediately. The following +letter is closely related to those of the foregoing chapter, only that +this one was mailed--not once, but many times, in some form adapted to +the specific applicant. It does not matter to whom it was originally +written, the name would not be recognized. + + + To Mrs. T. Concerning unearned credentials, etc. + + HARTFORD, 1887. +MY DEAR MADAM,--It is an idea which many people have had, but it is of no +value. I have seen it tried out many and many a time. I have seen a +lady lecturer urged and urged upon the public in a lavishly complimentary +document signed by Longfellow, Whittier, Holmes and some others of +supreme celebrity, but--there was nothing in her and she failed. If +there had been any great merit in her she never would have needed those +men's help and (at her rather mature age,) would never have consented to +ask for it. + +There is an unwritten law about human successes, and your sister must bow +to that law, she must submit to its requirements. In brief this law is: + + 1. No occupation without an apprenticeship. + + 2. No pay to the apprentice. + +This law stands right in the way of the subaltern who wants to be a +General before he has smelt powder; and it stands (and should stand) in +everybody's way who applies for pay or position before he has served his +apprenticeship and proved himself. Your sister's course is perfectly +plain. Let her enclose this letter to Maj. J. B. Pond, and offer to +lecture a year for $10 a week and her expenses, the contract to be +annullable by him at any time, after a month's notice, but not annullable +by her at all. The second year, he to have her services, if he wants +them, at a trifle under the best price offered her by anybody else. + +She can learn her trade in those two years, and then be entitled to +remuneration--but she can not learn it in any less time than that, unless +she is a human miracle. + +Try it, and do not be afraid. It is the fair and right thing. If she +wins, she will win squarely and righteously, and never have to blush. + Truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Howells wrote, in February, offering to get a publisher to take the + Library of Humor off Mark Twain's hands. Howells had been paid + twenty-six hundred dollars for the work on it, and his conscience + hurt him when he reflected that the book might never be used. In + this letter he also refers to one of the disastrous inventions in + which Clemens had invested--a method of casting brass dies for + stamping book-covers and wall-paper. Howells's purpose was to + introduce something of the matter into his next story. Mark Twain's + reply gives us a light on this particular invention. + + + HARTFORD, Feb. 15, '87. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I was in New York five days ago, and Webster mentioned the +Library, and proposed to publish it a year or a year and half hence. +I have written him your proposition to-day. (The Library is part of the +property of the C. L. W. & Co. firm.) + +I don't remember what that technical phrase was, but I think you will +find it in any Cyclopedia under the head of "Brass." The thing I best +remember is, that the self-styled "inventor" had a very ingenious way of +keeping me from seeing him apply his invention: the first appointment was +spoiled by his burning down the man's shop in which it was to be done, +the night before; the second was spoiled by his burning down his own shop +the night before. He unquestionably did both of these things. He really +had no invention; the whole project was a blackmailing swindle, and cost +me several thousand dollars. + +The slip you sent me from the May "Study" has delighted Mrs. Clemens and +me to the marrow. To think that thing might be possible to many; but to +be brave enough to say it is possible to you only, I certainly believe. +The longer I live the clearer I perceive how unmatchable, how +unapproachable, a compliment one pays when he says of a man "he has the +courage (to utter) his convictions." Haven't you had reviewers talk Alps +to you, and then print potato hills? + +I haven't as good an opinion of my work as you hold of it, but I've +always done what I could to secure and enlarge my good opinion of it. +I've always said to myself, "Everybody reads it and that's something--it +surely isn't pernicious, or the most acceptable people would get pretty +tired of it." And when a critic said by implication that it wasn't high +and fine, through the remark "High and fine literature is wine" I +retorted (confidentially, to myself,) "yes, high and fine literature is +wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water." + +You didn't tell me to return that proof-slip, so I have pasted it into my +private scrap-book. None will see it there. With a thousand thanks. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Our next letter is an unmailed answer, but it does not belong with + the others, having been withheld for reasons of quite a different + sort. Jeanette Gilder, then of the Critic, was one of Mark Twain's + valued friends. In the comment which he made, when it was shown to + him twenty-two years later, he tells us why he thinks this letter + was not sent. The name, "Rest-and-be-Thankful," was the official + title given to the summer place at Elmira, but it was more often + known as "Quarry Farm." + + + To Jeannette Gilder (not mailed): + + HARTFORD, May 14, '87. +MY DEAR MISS GILDER,--We shall spend the summer at the same old place-the +remote farm called "Rest-and-be-Thankful," on top of the hills three +miles from Elmira, N. Y. Your other question is harder to answer. It is +my habit to keep four or five books in process of erection all the time, +and every summer add a few courses of bricks to two or three of them; but +I cannot forecast which of the two or three it is going to be. It takes +seven years to complete a book by this method, but still it is a good +method: gives the public a rest. I have been accused of "rushing into +print" prematurely, moved thereto by greediness for money; but in truth +I have never done that. Do you care for trifles of information? (Well, +then, "Tom Sawyer" and "The Prince and the Pauper" were each on the +stocks two or three years, and "Old Times on the Mississippi" eight.) +One of my unfinished books has been on the stocks sixteen years; another +seventeen. This latter book could have been finished in a day, at any +time during the past five years. But as in the first of these two +narratives all the action takes place in Noah's ark, and as in the other +the action takes place in heaven, there seemed to be no hurry, and so I +have not hurried. Tales of stirring adventure in those localities do not +need to be rushed to publication lest they get stale by waiting. In +twenty-one years, with all my time at my free disposal I have written and +completed only eleven books, whereas with half the labor that a +journalist does I could have written sixty in that time. I do not +greatly mind being accused of a proclivity for rushing into print, but +at the same time I don't believe that the charge is really well founded. +Suppose I did write eleven books, have you nothing to be grateful for? +Go to---remember the forty-nine which I didn't write. + Truly Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Notes (added twenty-two years later): + +Stormfield, April 30, 1909. It seems the letter was not sent. I +probably feared she might print it, and I couldn't find a way to say so +without running a risk of hurting her. No one would hurt Jeannette +Gilder purposely, and no one would want to run the risk of doing it +unintentionally. She is my neighbor, six miles away, now, and I must +ask her about this ancient letter. + +I note with pride and pleasure that I told no untruths in my unsent +answer. I still have the habit of keeping unfinished books lying around +years and years, waiting. I have four or five novels on hand at present +in a half-finished condition, and it is more than three years since I +have looked at any of them. I have no intention of finishing them. +I could complete all of them in less than a year, if the impulse should +come powerfully upon me: Long, long ago money-necessity furnished that +impulse once, (" Following the Equator"), but mere desire for money has +never furnished it, so far as I remember. Not even money-necessity was +able to overcome me on a couple of occasions when perhaps I ought to have +allowed it to succeed. While I was a bankrupt and in debt two offers +were made me for weekly literary contributions to continue during a year, +and they would have made a debtless man of me, but I declined them, with +my wife's full approval, for I had known of no instance where a man had +pumped himself out once a week and failed to run "emptyings" before the +year was finished. + +As to that "Noah's Ark" book, I began it in Edinburgh in 1873;--[This is +not quite correct. The "Noah's Ark" book was begun in Buffalo in 1870.] +I don't know where the manuscript is now. It was a Diary, which +professed to be the work of Shem, but wasn't. I began it again several +months ago, but only for recreation; I hadn't any intention of carrying +it to a finish +--or even to the end of the first chapter, in fact. + +As to the book whose action "takes place in Heaven." That was a small +thing, ("Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven.") It lay in my pigeon- +holes 40 years, then I took it out and printed it in Harper's Monthly +last year. + S. L. C. + + +In the next letter we get a pretty and peaceful picture of "Rest-and-be- +Thankful." These were Mark Twain's balmy days. The financial drain of +the type-machine was heavy but not yet exhausting, and the prospect of +vast returns from it seemed to grow brighter each day. His publishing +business, though less profitable, was still prosperous, his family life +was ideal. How gratefully, then, he could enter into the peace of that +"perfect day." + + + To Mrs. Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Ia.: + + ON THE HILL NEAR ELMIRA, July 10, '87. +DEAR MOLLIE,--This is a superb Sunday for weather--very cloudy, and the +thermometer as low as 65. The city in the valley is purple with shade, +as seen from up here at the study. The Cranes are reading and loafing in +the canvas-curtained summer-house 50 yards away on a higher (the highest) +point; the cats are loafing over at "Ellerslie" which is the children's +estate and dwellinghouse in their own private grounds (by deed from Susie +Crane) a hundred yards from the study, amongst the clover and young oaks +and willows. Livy is down at the house, but I shall now go and bring her +up to the Cranes to help us occupy the lounges and hammocks--whence a +great panorama of distant hill and valley and city is seeable. The +children have gone on a lark through the neighboring hills and woods. +It is a perfect day indeed. + With love to you all. + SAM. + + +Two days after this letter was written we get a hint of what was the +beginning of business trouble--that is to say, of the failing health of +Charles L. Webster. Webster was ambitious, nervous, and not robust. +He had overworked and was paying the penalty. His trouble was +neurasthenia, and he was presently obliged to retire altogether from the +business. The "Sam and Mary" mentioned were Samuel Moffet and his wife. + + + To Mrs. Pamela Moffett, in Fredonia, N. Y. + + ELMIRA, July 12, '87 +MY DEAR SISTER,--I had no idea that Charley's case was so serious. +I knew it was bad, and persistent, but I was not aware of the full size +of the matter. + +I have just been writing to a friend in Hartford' who treated what I +imagine was a similar case surgically last fall, and produced a permanent +cure. If this is a like case, Charley must go to him. + +If relief fails there, he must take the required rest, whether the +business can stand it or not. + +It is most pleasant to hear such prosperous accounts of Sam and Mary, +I do not see how Sam could well be more advantageously fixed. He can +grow up with that paper, and achieve a successful life. + +It is not all holiday here with Susie and Clara this time. They have to +put in some little time every day on their studies. Jean thinks she is +studying too, but I don't know what it is unless it is the horses; she +spends the day under their heels in the stables--and that is but a +continuation of her Hartford system of culture. + +With love from us all to you all. + Affectionately + SAM. + + +Mark Twain had a few books that he read regularly every year or two. +Among these were 'Pepys's Diary', Suetonius's 'Lives of the Twelve +Caesars', and Thomas Carlyle's 'French Revolution'. He had a passion for +history, biography, and personal memoirs of any sort. In his early life +he had cared very little for poetry, but along in the middle eighties he +somehow acquired a taste for Browning and became absorbed in it. +A Browning club assembled as often as once a week at the Clemens home in +Hartford to listen to his readings of the master. He was an impressive +reader, and he carefully prepared himself for these occasions, indicating +by graduated underscorings, the exact values he wished to give to words +and phrases. Those were memorable gatherings, and they must have +continued through at least two winters. It is one of the puzzling phases +of Mark Twain's character that, notwithstanding his passion for direct +and lucid expression, he should have found pleasure in the poems of +Robert Browning. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 22, '87. +MY DEAR HOWELLS,--How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man +while he sleeps. When I finished Carlyle's French Revolution in 1871, +I was a Girondin; every time I have read it since, I have read it +differently being influenced and changed, little by little, by life and +environment (and Taine and St. Simon): and now I lay the book down once +more, and recognize that I am a Sansculotte!--And not a pale, +characterless Sansculotte, but a Marat. Carlyle teaches no such gospel +so the change is in me--in my vision of the evidences. + +People pretend that the Bible means the same to them at 50 that it did at +all former milestones in their journey. I wonder how they can lie so. +It comes of practice, no doubt. They would not say that of Dickens's or +Scott's books. Nothing remains the same. When a man goes back to look +at the house of his childhood, it has always shrunk: there is no instance +of such a house being as big as the picture in memory and imagination +call for. Shrunk how? Why, to its correct dimensions: the house hasn't +altered; this is the first time it has been in focus. + +Well, that's loss. To have house and Bible shrink so, under the +disillusioning corrected angle, is loss-for a moment. But there are +compensations. You tilt the tube skyward and bring planets and comets +and corona flames a hundred and fifty thousand miles high into the field. +Which I see you have done, and found Tolstoi. I haven't got him in focus +yet, but I've got Browning . . . . + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Mention has been made already of Mark Twain's tendency to + absentmindedness. He was always forgetting engagements, or getting + them wrong. Once he hurried to an afternoon party, and finding the + mistress of the house alone, sat down and talked to her comfortably + for an hour or two, not remembering his errand at all. It was only + when he reached home that he learned that the party had taken place + the week before. It was always dangerous for him to make + engagements, and he never seemed to profit by sorrowful experience. + We, however, may profit now by one of his amusing apologies. + + + To Mrs. Grover Cleveland, in Washington: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 6, 1887. +MY DEAR MADAM,--I do not know how it is in the White House, but in this +house of ours whenever the minor half of the administration tries to run +itself without the help of the major half it gets aground. Last night +when I was offered the opportunity to assist you in the throwing open the +Warner brothers superb benefaction in Bridgeport to those fortunate +women, I naturally appreciated the honor done me, and promptly seized my +chance. I had an engagement, but the circumstances washed it out of my +mind. If I had only laid the matter before the major half of the +administration on the spot, there would have been no blunder; but I never +thought of that. So when I did lay it before her, later, I realized once +more that it will not do for the literary fraction of a combination to +try to manage affairs which properly belong in the office of the business +bulk of it. I suppose the President often acts just like that: goes and +makes an impossible promise, and you never find it out until it is next +to impossible to break it up and set things straight again. Well, that +is just our way, exactly-one half of the administration always busy +getting the family into trouble, and the other half busy getting it out +again. And so we do seem to be all pretty much alike, after all. The +fact is, I had forgotten that we were to have a dinner party on that +Bridgeport date--I thought it was the next day: which is a good deal of +an improvement for me, because I am more used to being behind a day or +two than ahead. But that is just the difference between one end of this +kind of an administration and the other end of it, as you have noticed, +yourself--the other end does not forget these things. Just so with a +funeral; if it is the man's funeral, he is most always there, of course- +but that is no credit to him, he wouldn't be there if you depended on +hint to remember about it; whereas, if on the other hand--but I seem to +have got off from my line of argument somehow; never mind about the +funeral. Of course I am not meaning to say anything against funerals-- +that is, as occasions--mere occasions--for as diversions I don't think +they amount to much But as I was saying--if you are not busy I will look +back and see what it was I was saying. + +I don't seem to find the place; but anyway she was as sorry as ever +anybody could be that I could not go to Bridgeport, but there was no help +for it. And I, I have been not only sorry but very sincerely ashamed of +having made an engagement to go without first making sure that I could +keep it, and I do not know how to apologize enough for my heedless breach +of good manners. + With the sincerest respect, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Samuel Clemens was one of the very few authors to copyright a book + in England before the enactment of the international copyright law. + As early as 1872 he copyrighted 'Roughing It' in England, and + piratical publishers there respected his rights. Finally, in 1887, + the inland revenue office assessed him with income tax, which he + very willingly paid, instructing his London publishers, Chatto & + Windus, to pay on the full amount he had received from them. But + when the receipt for his taxes came it was nearly a yard square with + due postage of considerable amount. Then he wrote: + + + To Mr. Chatto, of Chatto & Windus, in London: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 5, '87. +MY DEAR CHATTO,--Look here, I don't mind paying the tax, but don't you +let the Inland Revenue Office send me any more receipts for it, for the +postage is something perfectly demoralizing. If they feel obliged to +print a receipt on a horse-blanket, why don't they hire a ship and send +it over at their own expense? + +Wasn't it good that they caught me out with an old book instead of a new +one? The tax on a new book would bankrupt a body. It was my purpose to +go to England next May and stay the rest of the year, but I've found that +tax office out just in time. My new book would issue in March, and they +would tax the sale in both countries. Come, we must get up a compromise +somehow. You go and work in on the good side of those revenue people and +get them to take the profits and give me the tax. Then I will come over +and we will divide the swag and have a good time. + +I wish you to thank Mr. Christmas for me; but we won't resist. The +country that allows me copyright has a right to tax me. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Another English tax assessment came that year, based on the report + that it was understood that he was going to become an English + resident, and had leased Buckenham Hall, Norwich, for a year. + Clemens wrote his publishers: "I will explain that all that about + Buckenham Hall was an English newspaper's mistake. I was not in + England, and if I had been I wouldn't have been at Buckenham Hall, + anyway, but at Buckingham Palace, or I would have endeavored to find + out the reason why." Clemens made literature out of this tax + experience. He wrote an open letter to Her Majesty Queen Victoria. + Such a letter has no place in this collection. It was published in + the "Drawer" of Harper's Magazine, December, 1887, and is now + included in the uniform edition of his works under the title of, + "A Petition to the Queen of England." + + From the following letter, written at the end of the year, we gather + that the type-setter costs were beginning to make a difference in + the Clemens economies. + + + To Mrs. Moffett, in Fredonia: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 18, '87. +DEAR PAMELA,--will you take this $15 and buy some candy or some other +trifle for yourself and Sam and his wife to remember that we remember +you, by? + +If we weren't a little crowded this year by the typesetter, I'd send a +check large enough to buy a family Bible or some other useful thing like +that. However we go on and on, but the type-setter goes on forever--at +$3,000 a month; which is much more satisfactory than was the case the +first seventeen months, when the bill only averaged $2,000, and promised +to take a thousand years. We'll be through, now, in 3 or 4 months, I +reckon, and then the strain will let up and we can breathe freely once +more, whether success ensues or failure. + +Even with a type-setter on hand we ought not to be in the least scrimped- +but it would take a long letter to explain why and who is to blame. + +All the family send love to all of you and best Christmas wishes for your +prosperity. + Affectionately, + SAM. + + + + +XXVIII + +LETTERS,1888. A YALE DEGREE. WORK ON "THE YANKEE." ON INTERVIEWING, +ETC. + + Mark Twain received his first college degree when he was made Master + of Arts by Yale, in June, 1888. Editor of the Courant, Charles H. + Clarke, was selected to notify him of his new title. Clarke was an + old friend to whom Clemens could write familiarly. + + + To Charles H. Clarke, in Hartford: + + ELMIRA, July 2, '88. +MY DEAR CHARLES,--Thanks for your thanks, and for your initiation +intentions. I shall be ready for you. I feel mighty proud of that +degree; in fact, I could squeeze the truth a little closer and say vain +of it. And why shouldn't I be?--I am the only literary animal of my +particular subspecies who has ever been given a degree by any College in +any age of the world, as far as I know. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. Clemens M. A. + + + Reply: Charles H. Clarke to S. L Clemens: + +MY DEAR FRIEND, You are "the only literary animal of your particular +subspecies" in existence and you've no cause for humility in the fact. +Yale has done herself at least as much credit as she has done you, and +"Don't you forget it." + C. H. C. + + + With the exception of his brief return to the river in 1882. Mark + Twain had been twenty-seven years away from pilots and piloting. + Nevertheless, he always kept a tender place in his heart for the old + times and for old river comrades. Major "Jack" Downing had been a + Mississippi pilot of early days, but had long since retired from the + river to a comfortable life ashore, in an Ohio town. Clemens had + not heard from him for years when a letter came which invited the + following answer. + + + To Major "Jack" Downing, in Middleport Ohio: + + ELMIRA, N. Y.[no month] 1888. +DEAR MAJOR,--And has it come to this that the dead rise up and speak? +For I supposed that you were dead, it has been so long since I heard your +name. + +And how young you've grown! I was a mere boy when I knew you on the +river, where you had been piloting for 35 years, and now you are only a +year and a half older than I am! I mean to go to Hot Springs myself and +get 30 or 40 years knocked off my age. It's manifestly the place that +Ponce de Leon was striking for, but the poor fellow lost the trail. + +Possibly I may see you, for I shall be in St. Louis a day or two in +November. I propose to go down the river and "note the changes" once +more before I make the long crossing, and perhaps you can come there. +Will you? I want to see all the boys that are left alive. + +And so Grant Marsh, too, is flourishing yet? A mighty good fellow, and +smart too. When we were taking that wood flat down to the Chambers, +which was aground, I soon saw that I was a perfect lubber at piloting +such a thing. I saw that I could never hit the Chambers with it, so I +resigned in Marsh's favor, and he accomplished the task to my admiration. +We should all have gone to the mischief if I had remained in authority. +I always had good judgement, more judgement than talent, in fact. + +No; the nom de plume did not originate in that way. Capt. Sellers used +the signature, "Mark Twain," himself, when he used to write up the +antiquities in the way of river reminiscences for the New Orleans +Picayune. He hated me for burlesquing them in an article in the True +Delta; so four years later when he died, I robbed the corpse--that is I +confiscated the nom de plume. I have published this vital fact 3,000 +times now. But no matter, it is good practice; it is about the only fact +that I can tell the same way every time. Very glad, indeed, to hear from +you Major, and shall be gladder still to see you in November. + + Truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + He did not make the journey down the river planned for that year. + He had always hoped to make another steamboat trip with Bixby, but + one thing and another interfered and he did not go again. + + Authors were always sending their books to Mark Twain to read, and + no busy man was ever more kindly disposed toward such offerings, + more generously considerate of the senders. Louis Pendleton was a + young unknown writer in 1888, but Clemens took time to read his + story carefully, and to write to him about it a letter that cost + precious time, thought, and effort. It must have rejoiced the young + man's heart to receive a letter like that, from one whom all young + authors held supreme. + + + To Louis Pendleton, in Georgia: + + ELMIRA, N. Y., Aug. 4, '88. +MY DEAR SIR,--I found your letter an hour ago among some others which had +lain forgotten a couple of weeks, and I at once stole time enough to read +Ariadne. Stole is the right word, for the summer "Vacation" is the only +chance I get for work; so, no minute subtracted from work is borrowed, it +is stolen. But this time I do not repent. As a rule, people don't send +me books which I can thank them for, and so I say nothing--which looks +uncourteous. But I thank you. Ariadne is a beautiful and satisfying +story; and true, too--which is the best part of a story; or indeed of any +other thing. Even liars have to admit that, if they are intelligent +liars; I mean in their private [the word conscientious written but +erased] intervals. (I struck that word out because a man's private +thought can never be a lie; what he thinks, is to him the truth, always; +what he speaks--but these be platitudes.) + +If you want me to pick some flaws--very well--but I do it unwillingly. +I notice one thing--which one may notice also in my books, and in all +books whether written by man or God: trifling carelessness of statement +or Expression. If I think that you meant that she took the lizard from +the water which she had drawn from the well, it is evidence--it is almost +proof--that your words were not as clear as they should have been. True, +it is only a trifling thing; but so is mist on a mirror. I would have +hung the pail on Ariadne's arm. You did not deceive me when you said +that she carried it under her arm, for I knew she didn't; still it was +not your right to mar my enjoyment of the graceful picture. If the pail +had been a portfolio, I wouldn't be making these remarks. The engraver +of a fine picture revises, and revises, and revises--and then revises, +and revises, and revises; and then repeats. And always the charm of that +picture grows, under his hand. It was good enough before--told its +story, and was beautiful. True: and a lovely girl is lovely, with +freckles; but she isn't at her level best with them. + +This is not hypercriticism; you have had training enough to know that. + +So much concerning exactness of statement. In that other not-small +matter--selection of the exact single word--you are hard to catch. +Still, I should hold that Mrs. Walker considered that there was no +occasion for concealment; that "motive" implied a deeper mental search +than she expended on the matter; that it doesn't reflect the attitude of +her mind with precision. Is this hypercriticism? I shan't dispute it. +I only say, that if Mrs. Walker didn't go so far as to have a motive, I +had to suggest that when a word is so near the right one that a body +can't quite tell whether it is or isn't, it's good politics to strike it +out and go for the Thesaurus. That's all. Motive may stand; but you +have allowed a snake to scream, and I will not concede that that was the +best word. + +I do not apologize for saying these things, for they are not said in the +speck-hunting spirit, but in the spirit of want-to-help-if-I-can. They +would be useful to me if said to me once a month, they may be useful to +you, said once. + +I save the other stories for my real vacation--which is nine months long, +to my sorrow. I thank you again. + Truly Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + In the next letter we get a sidelight on the type-setting machine, + the Frankenstein monster that was draining their substance and + holding out false hopes of relief and golden return. The program + here outlined was one that would continue for several years yet, + with the end always in sight, but never quite attained. + + + To Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Ia.: + + Oct. 3, '88. +Private + +Saturday 29th, by a closely calculated estimate, there were 85 days' work +to do on the machine. + +We can use 4 men, but not constantly. If they could work constantly it +would complete the machine in 21 days, of course. They will all be on +hand and under wages, and each will get in all the work there is +opportunity for, but by how much they can reduce the 85 days toward the +21 days, nobody can tell. + +To-day I pay Pratt & Whitney $10,000. This squares back indebtedness and +everything to date. They began about May or April or March 1886--along +there somewhere, and have always kept from a dozen to two dozen master- +hands on the machine. + +That outgo is done; 4 men for a month or two will close up that leak and +caulk it. Work on the patents is also kind of drawing toward a +conclusion. + +Love to you both. All well here. + +And give our love to Ma if she can get the idea. + + SAM. + + + Mark Twain that year was working pretty steadily on 'The Yankee at + King Arthur's Court', a book which he had begun two years before. + He had published nothing since the Huck Finn story, and his company + was badly in need of a new book by an author of distinction. Also + it was highly desirable to earn money for himself; wherefore he set + to work to finish the Yankee story. He had worked pretty steadily + that summer in his Elmira study, but on his return to Hartford found + a good deal of confusion in the house, so went over to Twichell's, + where carpenter work was in progress. He seems to have worked there + successfully, though what improvement of conditions he found in that + numerous, lively household, over those at home it would be difficult + to say. + + + To Theodore W. Crane, at Quarry Farm, Elmira, N. Y. + + Friday, Oct.,5, '88. +DEAR THEO,--I am here in Twichell's house at work, with the noise of the +children and an army of carpenters to help. Of course they don't help, +but neither do they hinder. It's like a boiler-factory for racket, and +in nailing a wooden ceiling onto the room under me the hammering tickles +my feet amazingly sometimes, and jars my table a good deal; but I never +am conscious of the racket at all, and I move my feet into position of +relief without knowing when I do it. I began here Monday morning, and +have done eighty pages since. I was so tired last night that I thought I +would lie abed and rest, to-day; but I couldn't resist. I mean to try to +knock off tomorrow, but it's doubtful if I do. I want to finish the day +the machine finishes, and a week ago the closest calculations for that +indicated Oct. 22--but experience teaches me that their calculations will +miss fire, as usual. + +The other day the children were projecting a purchase, Livy and I to +furnish the money--a dollar and a half. Jean discouraged the idea. She +said: "We haven't got any money. Children, if you would think, you would +remember the machine isn't done." + +It's billiards to-night. I wish you were here. + With love to you both + S. L. C. + +P. S. I got it all wrong. It wasn't the children, it was Marie. She +wanted a box of blacking, for the children's shoes. Jean reproved her- +and said: + +"Why, Marie, you mustn't ask for things now. The machine isn't done." + + S. L. C. + + + The letter that follows is to another of his old pilot friends, one + who was also a schoolmate, Will Bowen, of Hannibal. There is today + no means of knowing the occasion upon which this letter was written, + but it does not matter; it is the letter itself that is of chief + value. + + + To Will Bowen, in Hannibal, Mo.: + + HARTFORD, Nov 4, '88. +DEAR WILL,--I received your letter yesterday evening, just as I was +starting out of town to attend a wedding, and so my mind was privately +busy, all the evening, in the midst of the maelstrom of chat and chaff +and laughter, with the sort of reflections which create themselves, +examine themselves, and continue themselves, unaffected by surroundings +--unaffected, that is understood, by the surroundings, but not +uninfluenced by them. Here was the near presence of the two supreme +events of life: marriage, which is the beginning of life, and death which +is the end of it. I found myself seeking chances to shirk into corners +where I might think, undisturbed; and the most I got out of my thought, +was this: both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises +happiness, doubtless the other assures it. A long procession of people +filed through my mind--people whom you and I knew so many years ago--so +many centuries ago, it seems like-and these ancient dead marched to the +soft marriage music of a band concealed in some remote room of the house; +and the contented music and the dreaming shades seemed in right accord +with each other, and fitting. Nobody else knew that a procession of the +dead was passing though this noisy swarm of the living, but there it was, +and to me there was nothing uncanny about it; Rio, they were welcome +faces to me. I would have liked to bring up every creature we knew in +those days--even the dumb animals--it would be bathing in the fabled +Fountain of Youth. + +We all feel your deep trouble with you; and we would hope, if we might, +but your words deny us that privilege. To die one's self is a thing that +must be easy, and of light consequence, but to lose a part of one's self +--well, we know how deep that pang goes, we who have suffered that +disaster, received that wound which cannot heal. + Sincerely your friend + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + His next is of quite a different nature. Evidently the typesetting + conditions had alarmed Orion, and he was undertaking some economies + with a view of retrenchment. Orion was always reducing economy to + science. Once, at an earlier date, he recorded that he had figured + his personal living expenses down to sixty cents a week, but + inasmuch as he was then, by his own confession, unable to earn the + sixty cents, this particular economy was wasted. Orion was a trial, + certainly, and the explosion that follows was not without excuse. + Furthermore, it was not as bad as it sounds. Mark Twain's rages + always had an element of humor in them, a fact which no one more + than Orion himself would appreciate. He preserved this letter, + quietly noting on the envelope, "Letter from Sam, about ma's nurse." + + + Letter to Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa: + + NOV. 29, '88. +Jesus Christ!--It is perilous to write such a man. You can go crazy on +less material than anybody that ever lived. What in hell has produced +all these maniacal imaginings? You told me you had hired an attendant +for ma. Now hire one instantly, and stop this nonsense of wearing Mollie +and yourself out trying to do that nursing yourselves. Hire the +attendant, and tell me her cost so that I can instruct Webster & Co. to +add it every month to what they already send. Don't fool away any more +time about this. And don't write me any more damned rot about "storms," +and inability to pay trivial sums of money and--and--hell and damnation! +You see I've read only the first page of your letter; I wouldn't read the +rest for a million dollars. + Yr + SAM. + +P. S. Don't imagine that I have lost my temper, because I swear. I +swear all day, but I do not lose my temper. And don't imagine that I am +on my way to the poorhouse, for I am not; or that I am uneasy, for I am +not; or that I am uncomfortable or unhappy--for I never am. I don't know +what it is to be unhappy or uneasy; and I am not going to try to learn +how, at this late day. + SAM. + + + Few men were ever interviewed oftener than Mark Twain, yet he never + welcomed interviewers and was seldom satisfied with them. "What I + say in an interview loses it character in print," he often remarked, + "all its life and personality. The reporter realizes this himself, + and tries to improve upon me, but he doesn't help matters any." + + Edward W. Bok, before he became editor of the Ladies Home Journal, + was conducting a weekly syndicate column under the title of "Bok's + Literary Leaves." It usually consisted of news and gossip of + writers, comment, etc., literary odds and ends, and occasional + interviews with distinguished authors. He went up to Hartford one + day to interview Mark Twain. The result seemed satisfactory to Bok, + but wishing to be certain that it would be satisfactory to Clemens, + he sent him a copy for approval. The interview was not returned; + in the place of it came a letter-not altogether disappointing, as + the reader may believe. + + + To Edward W. Bok, in New York: + +MY DEAR MR. BOK,--No, no. It is like most interviews, pure twaddle and +valueless. + +For several quite plain and simple reasons, an "interview" must, as a +rule, be an absurdity, and chiefly for this reason--It is an attempt to +use a boat on land or a wagon on water, to speak figuratively. Spoken +speech is one thing, written speech is quite another. Print is the +proper vehicle for the latter, but it isn't for the former. The moment +"talk" is put into print you recognize that it is not what it was when +you heard it; you perceive that an immense something has disappeared from +it. That is its soul. You have nothing but a dead carcass left on your +hands. Color, play of feature, the varying modulations of the voice, the +laugh, the smile, the informing inflections, everything that gave that +body warmth, grace, friendliness and charm and commended it to your +affections--or, at least, to your tolerance--is gone and nothing is left +but a pallid, stiff and repulsive cadaver. + +Such is "talk" almost invariably, as you see it lying in state in an +"interview". The interviewer seldom tries to tell one how a thing was +said; he merely puts in the naked remark and stops there. When one +writes for print his methods are very different. He follows forms which +have but little resemblance to conversation, but they make the reader +understand what the writer is trying to convey. And when the writer is +making a story and finds it necessary to report some of the talk of his +characters observe how cautiously and anxiously he goes at that risky and +difficult thing. "If he had dared to say that thing in my presence," +said Alfred, "taking a mock heroic attitude, and casting an arch glance +upon the company, blood would have flowed." + +"If he had dared to say that thing in my presence," said Hawkwood, with +that in his eye which caused more than one heart in that guilty +assemblage to quake, "blood would have flowed." + +"If he had dared to say that thing in my presence," said the paltry +blusterer, with valor on his tongue and pallor on his lips, "blood would +have flowed." + +So painfully aware is the novelist that naked talk in print conveys no +meaning that he loads, and often overloads, almost every utterance of his +characters with explanations and interpretations. It is a loud +confession that print is a poor vehicle for "talk"; it is a recognition +that uninterpreted talk in print would result in confusion to the reader, +not instruction. + +Now, in your interview, you have certainly been most accurate; you have +set down the sentences I uttered as I said them. But you have not a word +of explanation; what my manner was at several points is not indicated. +Therefore, no reader can possibly know where I was in earnest and where I +was joking; or whether I was joking altogether or in earnest altogether. +Such a report of a conversation has no value. It can convey many +meanings to the reader, but never the right one. To add interpretations +which would convey the right meaning is a something which would require +--what? An art so high and fine and difficult that no possessor of it +would ever be allowed to waste it on interviews. + +No; spare the reader, and spare me; leave the whole interview out; it is +rubbish. I wouldn't talk in my sleep if I couldn't talk better than +that. + +If you wish to print anything print this letter; it may have some value, +for it may explain to a reader here and there why it is that in +interviews, as a rule, men seem to talk like anybody but themselves. + Very sincerely yours, + MARK TWAIN. + + + + +XXIX + +LETTERS, 1889. THE MACHINE. DEATH OF MR. CRANE. +CONCLUSION OF THE YANKEE + +In January, 1889, Clemens believed, after his long seven years of +waiting, fruition had come in the matter of the type machine. Paige, the +inventor, seemed at last to have given it its finishing touches. The +mechanical marvel that had cost so much time, mental stress, and a +fortune in money, stood complete, responsive to the human will and touch +--the latest, and one of the greatest, wonders of the world. To George +Standring, a London printer and publisher, Clemens wrote: "The machine is +finished!" and added, "This is by far the most marvelous invention ever +contrived by man. And it is not a thing of rags and patches; it is made +of massive steel, and will last a century." + +In his fever of enthusiasm on that day when he had actually seen it in +operation, he wrote a number of exuberant letters. They were more or +less duplicates, but as the one to his brother is of fuller detail and +more intimate than the others, it has been selected for preservation +here. + + To Orion Clemens, in Keokuk: + + HARTFORD, Jan. 5, '89. +DEAR ORION,--At 12.20 this afternoon a line of movable types was spaced +and justified by machinery, for the first time in the history of the +world! And I was there to see. It was done automatically--instantly-- +perfectly. This is indeed the first line of movable types that ever was +perfectly spaced and perfectly justified on this earth. + +This was the last function that remained to be tested--and so by long +odds the most amazing and extraordinary invention ever born of the brain +of man stands completed and perfect. Livy is down stairs celebrating. + +But it's a cunning devil, is that machine!--and knows more than any man +that ever lived. You shall see. We made the test in this way. We set +up a lot of random letters in a stick--three-fourths of a line; then +filled out the line with quads representing 14 spaces, each space to be +35/1000 of an inch thick. Then we threw aside the quads and put the +letters into the machine and formed them into 15 two-letter words, +leaving the words separated by two-inch vacancies. Then we started up +the machine slowly, by hand, and fastened our eyes on the space-selecting +pins. The first pin-block projected its third pin as the first word came +traveling along the race-way; second block did the same; but the third +block projected its second pin! + +"Oh, hell! stop the machine--something wrong--it's going to set a +30/1000 space!" + +General consternation. "A foreign substance has got into the spacing +plates." This from the head mathematician. + +"Yes, that is the trouble," assented the foreman. + +Paige examined. "No--look in, and you can see that there's nothing of +the kind." Further examination. "Now I know what it is--what it must +be: one of those plates projects and binds. It's too bad--the first +testis a failure." A pause. "Well, boys, no use to cry. Get to work-- +take the machine down.--No--Hold on! don't touch a thing! Go right +ahead! We are fools, the machine isn't. The machine knows what it's +about. There is a speck of dirt on one of those types, and the machine +is putting in a thinner space to allow for it!" + +That was just it. The machine went right ahead, spaced the line, +justified it to a hair, and shoved it into the galley complete and +perfect! We took it out and examined it with a glass. You could not +tell by your eye that the third space was thinner than the others, but +the glass and the calipers showed the difference. Paige had always said +that the machine would measure invisible particles of dirt and allow for +them, but even he had forgotten that vast fact for the moment. + +All the witnesses made written record of the immense historical birth-- +the first justification of a line of movable type by machinery--and also +set down the hour and the minute. Nobody had drank anything, and yet +everybody seemed drunk. Well-dizzy, stupefied, stunned. + +All the other wonderful inventions of the human brain sink pretty nearly +into commonplace contrasted with this awful mechanical miracle. +Telephones, telegraphs, locomotives, cotton gins, sewing machines, +Babbage calculators, jacquard looms, perfecting presses, Arkwright's +frames--all mere toys, simplicities! The Paige Compositor marches alone +and far in the lead of human inventions. + +In two or three weeks we shall work the stiffness out of her joints and +have her performing as smoothly and softly as human muscles, and then we +shall speak out the big secret and let the world come and gaze. + +Return me this letter when you have read it. + + SAM. + + + Judge of the elation which such a letter would produce in Keokuk! + Yet it was no greater than that which existed in Hartford--for a + time. + + Then further delays. Before the machine got "the stiffness out of + her joints" that "cunning devil" manifested a tendency to break the + types, and Paige, who was never happier than when he was pulling + things to pieces and making improvements, had the type-setter apart + again and the day of complete triumph was postponed. + + There was sadness at the Elmira farm that spring. Theodore Crane, + who had long been in poor health, seemed to grow daily worse. In + February he had paid a visit to Hartford and saw the machine in + operation, but by the end of May his condition was very serious. + Remembering his keen sense of humor, Clemens reported to him + cheering and amusing incidents. + + + To Mrs. Theodore Crane. in Elmira, N. Y.: + + HARTFORD, May 28, '89. +Susie dear, I want you to tell this to Theodore. You know how absent- +minded Twichell is, and how desolate his face is when he is in that +frame. At such times, he passes the word with a friend on the street and +is not aware of the meeting at all. Twice in a week, our Clara had this +latter experience with him within the past month. But the second +instance was too much for her, and she woke him up, in his tracks, with a +reproach. She said: + +"Uncle Joe, why do you always look as if you were just going down into +the grave, when you meet a person on the street?"--and then went on to +reveal to him the funereal spectacle which he presented on such +occasions. Well, she has met Twichell three times since then, and would +swim the Connecticut to avoid meeting him the fourth. As soon as he +sights her, no matter how public the place nor how far off she is, he +makes a bound into the air, heaves arms and legs into all sorts of +frantic gestures of delight, and so comes prancing, skipping and +pirouetting for her like a drunken Indian entering heaven. + +With a full invoice of love from us all to you and Theodore. + + S. L. C. + + + The reference in the next to the "closing sentence" in a letter + written by Howells to Clemens about this time, refers to a heart- + broken utterance of the former concerning his daughter Winnie, who + had died some time before. She had been a gentle talented girl, but + never of robust health. Her death had followed a long period of + gradual decline. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Judy 13, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I came on from Elmira a day or two ago, where I left a +house of mourning. Mr. Crane died, after ten months of pain and two +whole days of dying, at the farm on the hill, the 3rd inst: A man who had +always hoped for a swift death. Mrs. Crane and Mrs. Clemens and the +children were in a gloom which brought back to me the days of nineteen +years ago, when Mr. Langdon died. It is heart-breaking to see Mrs. +Crane. Many a time, in the past ten days, the sight of her has reminded +me, with a pang, of the desolation which uttered itself in the closing +sentence of your last letter to me. I do see that there is an argument +against suicide: the grief of the worshipers left behind; the awful +famine in their hearts, these are too costly terms for the release. + +I shall be here ten days yet, and all alone: nobody in the house but the +servants. Can't Mrs. Howells spare you to me? Can't you come and stay +with me? The house is cool and pleasant; your work will not be +interrupted; we will keep to ourselves and let the rest of the world do +the same; you can have your choice of three bedrooms, and you will find +the Children's schoolroom (which was built for my study,) the perfection +of a retired and silent den for work. There isn't a fly or a mosquito on +the estate. Come--say you will. + +With kindest regards to Mrs. Howells, and Pilla and John, + Yours Ever + MARK. + + +Howells was more hopeful. He wrote: "I read something in a strange book, +The Physical Theory of Another Life, that consoles a little; namely, we +see and feel the power of Deity in such fullness that we ought to infer +the infinite justice and Goodness which we do not see or feel." And a +few days later, he wrote: "I would rather see and talk with you than any +other man in the world outside my own blood." + +A Connecticut Yankee at King Arthur's Court was brought to an end that +year and given to the artist and printer. Dan Beard was selected for the +drawings, and was given a free hand, as the next letter shows. + + + To Fred J. Hall, Manager Charles L. Webster & Co.: + +[Charles L. Webster, owing to poor health, had by this time retired +from the firm.] + + ELMIRA, July 20, '89. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Upon reflection--thus: tell Beard to obey his own +inspiration, and when he sees a picture in his mind put that picture on +paper, be it humorous or be it serious. I want his genius to be wholly +unhampered, I shan't have fears as to the result. They will be better +pictures than if I mixed in and tried to give him points on his own +trade. + +Send this note and he'll understand. + Yr + S. L. C. + + + Clemens had made a good choice in selecting Beard for the + illustrations. He was well qualified for the work, and being of a + socialistic turn of mind put his whole soul into it. When the + drawings were completed, Clemens wrote: "Hold me under permanent + obligations. What luck it was to find you! There are hundreds of + artists that could illustrate any other book of mine, but there was + only one who could illustrate this one. Yes, it was a fortunate + hour that I went netting for lightning bugs and caught a meteor. + Live forever!" + + Clemens, of course, was anxious for Howells to read The Yankee, and + Mrs. Clemens particularly so. Her eyes were giving her trouble that + summer, so that she could not read the MS. for herself, and she had + grave doubts as to some of its chapters. It may be said here that + the book to-day might have been better if Mrs. Clemens had been able + to read it. Howells was a peerless critic, but the revolutionary + subject-matter of the book so delighted him that he was perhaps + somewhat blinded to its literary defects. However, this is + premature. Howells did not at once see the story. He had promised + to come to Hartford, but wrote that trivial matters had made his + visit impossible. From the next letter we get the situation at this + time. The "Mr. Church" mentioned was Frederick S. Church, the well- + known artist. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, July 24, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I, too, was as sorry as I could be; yes, and desperately +disappointed. I even did a heroic thing: shipped my book off to New York +lest I should forget hospitality and embitter your visit with it. Not +that I think you wouldn't like to read it, for I think you would; but not +on a holiday that's not the time. I see how you were situated--another +familiarity of Providence and wholly wanton intrusion--and of course we +could not help ourselves. Well, just think of it: a while ago, while +Providence's attention was absorbed in disordering some time-tables so as +to break up a trip of mine to Mr. Church's on the Hudson, that Johnstown +dam got loose. I swear I was afraid to pray, for fear I should laugh. +Well, I'm not going to despair; we'll manage a meet yet. + +I expect to go to Hartford again in August and maybe remain till I have +to come back here and fetch the family. And, along there in August, some +time, you let on that you are going to Mexico, and I will let on that I +am going to Spitzbergen, and then under cover of this clever stratagem we +will glide from the trains at Worcester and have a time. I have noticed +that Providence is indifferent about Mexico and Spitzbergen. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Possibly Mark Twain was not particularly anxious that Howells should + see his MS., fearing that he might lay a ruthless hand on some of + his more violent fulminations and wild fancies. However this may + be, further postponement was soon at an end. Mrs. Clemens's eyes + troubled her and would not permit her to read, so she requested that + the Yankee be passed upon by soberminded critics, such as Howells + and Edmund Clarence Stedman. Howells wrote that even if he hadn't + wanted to read the book for its own sake, or for the author's sake, + he would still want to do it for Mrs. Clemens's. Whereupon the + proofs were started in his direction. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + ELMIRA, Aug. 24, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--If you should be moved to speak of my book in the Study, +I shall be glad and proud--and the sooner it gets in, the better for the +book; though I don't suppose you can get it in earlier than the November +number--why, no, you can't get it in till a month later than that. Well, +anyway I don't think I'll send out any other press copy--except perhaps +to Stedman. I'm not writing for those parties who miscall themselves +critics, and I don't care to have them paw the book at all. It's my +swan-song, my retirement from literature permanently, and I wish to pass +to the cemetery unclodded. + +I judge that the proofs have begun to reach you about this time, as I had +some (though not revises,) this morning. I'm sure I'm going to be +charmed with Beard's pictures. Observe his nice take-off of Middle-Age +art-dinner-table scene. + Ys sincerely + MARK. + + + Howells's approval of the Yankee came almost in the form of exultant + shouts, one after reading each batch of proof. First he wrote: + "It's charming, original, wonderful! good in fancy and sound to the + core in morals." And again, "It's a mighty great book, and it makes + my heart burn with wrath. It seems God did not forget to put a soul + into you. He shuts most literary men off with a brain, merely." + Then, a few days later: "The book is glorious--simply noble; what + masses of virgin truth never touched in print before!" and, finally, + "Last night I read your last chapter. As Stedman says of the whole + book, it's titanic." + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Sept. 22, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--It is immensely good of you to grind through that stuff +for me; but it gives peace to Mrs. Clemens's soul; and I am as grateful +to you as a body can be. I am glad you approve of what I say about the +French Revolution. Few people will. It is odd that even to this day +Americans still observe that immortal benefaction through English and +other monarchical eyes, and have no shred of an opinion about it that +they didn't get at second-hand. + +Next to the 4th of July and its results, it was the noblest and the +holiest thing and the most precious that ever happened in this earth. +And its gracious work is not done yet--not anywhere in the remote +neighborhood of it. + +Don't trouble to send me all the proofs; send me the pages with your +corrections on them, and waste-basket the rest. We issue the book +Dec. 10; consequently a notice that appears Dec. 20 will be just in good +time. + +I am waiting to see your Study set a fashion in criticism. When that +happens--as please God it must--consider that if you lived three +centuries you couldn't do a more valuable work for this country, or a +humaner. + +As a rule a critic's dissent merely enrages, and so does no good; but by +the new art which you use, your dissent must be as welcome as your +approval, and as valuable. I do not know what the secret of it is, +unless it is your attitude--man courteously reasoning with man and +brother, in place of the worn and wearisome critical attitude of all this +long time--superior being lecturing a boy. + +Well, my book is written--let it go. But if it were only to write over +again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me; and +they keep multiplying and multiplying; but now they can't ever be said. +And besides, they would require a library--and a pen warmed up in hell. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + The type-setting machine began to loom large in the background. + Clemens believed it perfected by this time. Paige had got it + together again and it was running steadily--or approximately so + --setting type at a marvelous speed and with perfect accuracy. In + time an expert operator would be able to set as high as eight + thousand ems per hour, or about ten times as much as a good + compositor could set and distribute by hand. Those who saw it were + convinced--most of them--that the type-setting problem was solved by + this great mechanical miracle. If there were any who doubted, it + was because of its marvelously minute accuracy which the others only + admired. Such accuracy, it was sometimes whispered, required + absolutely perfect adjustment, and what would happen when the great + inventor--"the poet in steel," as Clemens once called him--was no + longer at hand to supervise and to correct the slightest variation. + But no such breath of doubt came to Mark Twain; he believed the + machine as reliable as a constellation. + + But now there was need of capital to manufacture and market the + wonder. Clemens, casting about in his mind, remembered Senator + Jones, of Nevada, a man of great wealth, and his old friend, Joe + Goodman, of Nevada, in whom Jones had unlimited confidence. He + wrote to Goodman, and in this letter we get a pretty full exposition + of the whole matter as it stood in the fall of 1889. We note in + this communication that Clemens says that he has been at the machine + three years and seven months, but this was only the period during + which he had spent the regular monthly sum of three thousand + dollars. His interest in the invention had begun as far back as + 1880. + + + To Joseph T. Goodman, in Nevada: + + Private. HARTFORD, Oct. 7, '89. +DEAR JOE,-I had a letter from Aleck Badlam day before yesterday, and in +answering him I mentioned a matter which I asked him to consider a secret +except to you and John McComb,--[This is Col. McComb, of the Alta- +California, who had sent Mark Twain on the Quaker City excursion]--as I +am not ready yet to get into the newspapers. + +I have come near writing you about this matter several times, but it +wasn't ripe, and I waited. It is ripe, now. It is a type-setting +machine which I undertook to build for the inventor(for a consideration). +I have been at it three years and seven months without losing a day, at a +cost of $3,000 a month, and in so private a way that Hartford has known +nothing about it. Indeed only a dozen men have known of the matter. +I have reported progress from time to time to the proprietors of the +N. Y. Sun, Herald, Times, World, Harper Brothers and John F. Trow; also +to the proprietors of the Boston Herald and the Boston Globe. Three +years ago I asked all these people to squelch their frantic desire to +load up their offices with the Mergenthaler (N. Y. Tribune) machine, and +wait for mine and then choose between the two. They have waited--with no +very gaudy patience--but still they have waited; and I could prove to +them to-day that they have not lost anything by it. But I reserve the +proof for the present--except in the case of the N. Y. Herald; I sent an +invitation there the other day--a courtesy due a paper which ordered +$240,000 worth of our machines long ago when it was still in a crude +condition. The Herald has ordered its foreman to come up here next +Thursday; but that is the only invitation which will go out for some time +yet. + +The machine was finished several weeks ago, and has been running ever +since in the machine shop. It is a magnificent creature of steel, all of +Pratt & Whitney's super-best workmanship, and as nicely adjusted and as +accurate as a watch. In construction it is as elaborate and complex as +that machine which it ranks next to, by every right--Man--and in +performance it is as simple and sure. + +Anybody can set type on it who can read--and can do it after only 15 +minutes' instruction. The operator does not need to leave his seat at +the keyboard; for the reason that he is not required to do anything but +strike the keys and set type--merely one function; the spacing, +justifying, emptying into the galley, and distributing of dead matter is +all done by the machine without anybody's help--four functions. + +The ease with which a cub can learn is surprising. Day before yesterday +I saw our newest cub set, perfectly space and perfectly justify 2,150 ems +of solid nonpareil in an hour and distribute the like amount in the same +hour--and six hours previously he had never seen the machine or its +keyboard. It was a good hour's work for 3-year veterans on the other +type-setting machines to do. We have 3 cubs. The dean of the trio is a +school youth of 18. Yesterday morning he had been an apprentice on the +machine 16 working days (8-hour days); and we speeded him to see what he +could do in an hour. In the hour he set 5,900 ems solid nonpareil, and +the machine perfectly spaced and justified it, and of course distributed +the like amount in the same hour. Considering that a good fair +compositor sets 700 and distributes 700 in the one hour, this boy did the +work of about 8 x a compositors in that hour. This fact sends all other +type-setting machines a thousand miles to the rear, and the best of them +will never be heard of again after we publicly exhibit in New York. + +We shall put on 3 more cubs. We have one school boy and two compositors, +now,--and we think of putting on a type writer, a stenographer, and +perhaps a shoemaker, to show that no special gifts or training are +required with this machine. We shall train these beginners two or three +months--or until some one of them gets up to 7,000 an hour--then we will +show up in New York and run the machine 24 hours a day 7 days in the +week, for several months--to prove that this is a machine which will +never get out of order or cause delay, and can stand anything an anvil +can stand. You know there is no other typesetting machine that can run +two hours on a stretch without causing trouble and delay with its +incurable caprices. + +We own the whole field--every inch of it--and nothing can dislodge us. + +Now then, above is my preachment, and here follows the reason and purpose +of it. I want you to run over here, roost over the machine a week and +satisfy yourself, and then go to John P. Jones or to whom you please, and +sell me a hundred thousand dollars' worth of this property and take ten +per cent in cash or the "property" for your trouble--the latter, if you +are wise, because the price I ask is a long way short of the value. + +What I call "property" is this. A small part of my ownership consists of +a royalty of $500 on every machine marketed under the American patents. +My selling-terms are, a permanent royalty of one dollar on every +American-marketed machine for a thousand dollars cash to me in hand paid. +We shan't market any fewer than 5,000 machines in 15 years--a return of +fifteen thousand dollars for one thousand. A royalty is better than +stock, in one way--it must be paid, every six months, rain or shine; it +is a debt, and must be paid before dividends are declared. By and by, +when we become a stock company I shall buy these royalties back for stock +if I can get them for anything like reasonable terms. + +I have never borrowed a penny to use on the machine, and never sold a +penny's worth of the property until the machine was entirely finished and +proven by the severest tests to be what she started out to be--perfect, +permanent, and occupying the position, as regards all kindred machines, +which the City of Paris occupies as regards the canvas-backs of the +mercantile marine. + +It is my purpose to sell two hundred dollars of my royalties at the above +price during the next two months and keep the other $300. + +Mrs. Clemens begs Mrs. Goodman to come with you, and asks pardon for not +writing the message herself--which would be a pathetically-welcome +spectacle to me; for I have been her amanuensis for 8 months, now, since +her eyes failed her. Yours as always + MARK. + + + While this letter with its amazing contents is on its way to + astonish Joe Goodman, we will consider one of quite a different, + but equally characteristic sort. We may assume that Mark Twain's + sister Pamela had been visiting him in Hartford and was now making + a visit in Keokuk. + + + To Mrs. Moffett, in Keokuk: + + HARTFORD, Oct 9, '89. +DEAR PAMELA,--An hour after you left I was suddenly struck with a +realizing sense of the utter chuckle-headedness of that notion of mine: +to send your trunk after you. Land! it was idiotic. None but a lunatic +would, separate himself from his baggage. + +Well, I am soulfully glad the baggage fetcher saved me from consummating +my insane inspiration. I met him on the street in the afternoon and paid +him again. I shall pay him several times more, as opportunity offers. + +I declined the invitation to banquet with the visiting South American +Congress, in a polite note explaining that I had to go to New York today. +I conveyed the note privately to Patrick; he got the envelope soiled, +and asked Livy to put on a clean one. That is why I am going to the +banquet; also why I have disinvited the boys I thought I was going to +punch billiards with, upstairs to-night. + +Patrick is one of the injudiciousest people I ever struck. And I am the +other. + Your Brother + SAM. + + + The Yankee was now ready for publication, and advance sheets were + already in the reviewers' hands. Just at this moment the Brazilian + monarchy crumbled, and Clemens was moved to write Sylvester Baxter, + of the Boston Herald, a letter which is of special interest in its + prophecy of the new day, the dawn of which was even nearer than he + suspected. + + +DEAR MR. BAXTER, Another throne has gone down, and I swim in oceans of +satisfaction. I wish I might live fifty years longer; I believe I should +see the thrones of Europe selling at auction for old iron. I believe I +should really see the end of what is surely the grotesquest of all the +swindles ever invented by man-monarchy. It is enough to make a graven +image laugh, to see apparently rational people, away down here in this +wholesome and merciless slaughter-day for shams, still mouthing empty +reverence for those moss-backed frauds and scoundrelisms, hereditary +kingship and so-called "nobility." It is enough to make the monarchs and +nobles themselves laugh--and in private they do; there can be no question +about that. I think there is only one funnier thing, and that is the +spectacle of these bastard Americans--these Hamersleys and Huntingtons +and such--offering cash, encumbered by themselves, for rotten carcases +and stolen titles. When our great brethren the disenslaved Brazilians +frame their Declaration of Independence, I hope they will insert this +missing link: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all monarchs +are usurpers, and descendants of usurpers; for the reason that no throne +was ever set up in this world by the will, freely exercised, of the only +body possessing the legitimate right to set it up--the numerical mass of +the nation." + +You already have the advance sheets of my forthcoming book in your hands. +If you will turn to about the five hundredth page, you will find a state +paper of my Connecticut Yankee in which he announces the dissolution of +King Arthur's monarchy and proclaims the English Republic. Compare it +with the state paper which announces the downfall of the Brazilian +monarchy and proclaims the Republic of the United States of Brazil, and +stand by to defend the Yankee from plagiarism. There is merely a +resemblance of ideas, nothing more. The Yankee's proclamation was +already in print a week ago. This is merely one of those odd +coincidences which are always turning up. Come, protect the Yank from +that cheapest and easiest of all charges--plagiarism. Otherwise, you +see, he will have to protect himself by charging approximate and +indefinite plagiarism upon the official servants of our majestic twin +down yonder, and then there might be war, or some similar annoyance. + +Have you noticed the rumor that the Portuguese throne is unsteady, and +that the Portuguese slaves are getting restive? Also, that the head +slave-driver of Europe, Alexander III, has so reduced his usual monthly +order for chains that the Russian foundries are running on only half time +now? Also that other rumor that English nobility acquired an added +stench the other day--and had to ship it to India and the continent +because there wasn't any more room for it at home? Things are working. +By and by there is going to be an emigration, may be. Of course we shall +make no preparation; we never do. In a few years from now we shall have +nothing but played-out kings and dukes on the police, and driving the +horse-cars, and whitewashing fences, and in fact overcrowding all the +avenues of unskilled labor; and then we shall wish, when it is too late, +that we had taken common and reasonable precautions and drowned them at +Castle Garden. + + + There followed at this time a number of letters to Goodman, but as + there is much of a sameness in them, we need not print them all. + Clemens, in fact, kept the mails warm with letters bulging with + schemes for capitalization, and promising vast wealth to all + concerned. When the letters did not go fast enough he sent + telegrams. In one of the letters Goodman is promised "five hundred + thousand dollars out of the profits before we get anything + ourselves." One thing we gather from these letters is that Paige + has taken the machine apart again, never satisfied with its + perfection, or perhaps getting a hint that certain of its + perfections were not permanent. A letter at the end of November + seems worth preserving here. + + + To Joseph T. Goodman, in California: + + HARTFORD, Nov. 29, '89. +DEAR JOE, Things are getting into better and more flexible shape every +day. Papers are now being drawn which will greatly simplify the raising +of capital; I shall be in supreme command; it will not be necessary for +the capitalist to arrive at terms with anybody but me. I don't want to +dicker with anybody but Jones. I know him; that is to say, I want to +dicker with you, and through you with Jones. Try to see if you can't be +here by the 15th of January. + +The machine was as perfect as a watch when we took her apart the other +day; but when she goes together again the 15th of January we expect her +to be perfecter than a watch. + +Joe, I want you to sell some royalties to the boys out there, if you can, +for I want to be financially strong when we go to New York. You know the +machine, and you appreciate its future enormous career better than any +man I know. At the lowest conceivable estimate (2,000 machines a year,) +we shall sell 34,000 in the life of the patent--17 years. + +All the family send love to you--and they mean it, or they wouldn't say +it. + Yours ever + MARK. + + + The Yankee had come from the press, and Howells had praised it in + the "Editor's Study" in Harper's Magazine. He had given it his + highest commendation, and it seems that his opinion of it did not + change with time. "Of all fanciful schemes of fiction it pleases me + most," he in one place declared, and again referred to it as + "a greatly imagined and symmetrically developed tale." + + In more than one letter to Goodman, Clemens had urged him to come + East without delay. "Take the train, Joe, and come along," he wrote + early in December. And we judge from the following that Joe had + decided to come. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Dec. 23, '89. +DEAR HOWELLS,--The magazine came last night, and the Study notice is just +great. The satisfaction it affords us could not be more prodigious if +the book deserved every word of it; and maybe it does; I hope it does, +though of course I can't realize it and believe it. But I am your +grateful servant, anyway and always. + +I am going to read to the Cadets at West Point Jan. 11. I go from here +to New York the 9th, and up to the Point the 11th. Can't you go with me? +It's great fun. I'm going to read the passages in the "Yankee" in which +the Yankee's West Point cadets figure--and shall covertly work in a +lecture on aristocracy to those boys. I am to be the guest of the +Superintendent, but if you will go I will shake him and we will go to the +hotel. He is a splendid fellow, and I know him well enough to take that +liberty. + +And won't you give me a day or two's visit toward the end of January? +For two reasons: the machine will be at work again by that time, and we +want to hear the rest of the dream-story; Mrs. Clemens keeps speaking +about it and hankering for it. And we can have Joe Goodman on hand again +by that time, and I want you to get to know him thoroughly. It's well +worth it. I am going to run up and stay over night with you as soon as I +can get a chance. + +We are in the full rush of the holidays now, and an awful rush it is, +too. You ought to have been here the other day, to make that day perfect +and complete. All alone I managed to inflict agonies on Mrs: Clemens, +whereas I was expecting nothing but praises. I made a party call the day +after the party--and called the lady down from breakfast to receive it. +I then left there and called on a new bride, who received me in her +dressing-gown; and as things went pretty well, I stayed to luncheon. +The error here was, that the appointed reception-hour was 3 in the +afternoon, and not at the bride's house but at her aunt's in another part +of the town. However, as I meant well, none of these disasters +distressed me. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + The Yankee did not find a very hearty welcome in England. English + readers did not fancy any burlesque of their Arthurian tales, or + American strictures on their institutions. Mark Twain's publishers + had feared this, and asked that the story be especially edited for + the English edition. Clemens, however, would not listen to any + suggestions of the sort. + + + To Messrs. Chatto & Windus, in London, Eng.: + +GENTLEMEN,--Concerning The Yankee, I have already revised the story +twice; and it has been read critically by W. D. Howells and Edmund +Clarence Stedman, and my wife has caused me to strike out several +passages that have been brought to her attention, and to soften others. +Furthermore, I have read chapters of the book in public where Englishmen +were present and have profited by their suggestions. + +Now, mind you, I have taken all this pains because I wanted to say a +Yankee mechanic's say against monarchy and its several natural props, +and yet make a book which you would be willing to print exactly as it +comes to you, without altering a word. + +We are spoken of (by Englishmen) as a thin-skinned people. It is you who +are thin-skinned. An Englishman may write with the most brutal frankness +about any man or institution among us and we republish him without +dreaming of altering a line or a word. But England cannot stand that +kind of a book written about herself. It is England that is thin- +skinned. It causeth me to smile when I read the modifications of my +language which have been made in my English editions to fit them for the +sensitive English palate. + +Now, as I say, I have taken laborious pains to so trim this book of +offense that you might not lack the nerve to print it just as it stands. +I am going to get the proofs to you just as early as I can. I want you +to read it carefully. If you can publish it without altering a single +word, go ahead. Otherwise, please hand it to J. R. Osgood in time for +him to have it published at my expense. + +This is important, for the reason that the book was not written for +America; it was written for England. So many Englishmen have done their +sincerest best to teach us something for our betterment that it seems to +me high time that some of us should substantially recognize the good +intent by trying to pry up the English nation to a little higher level of +manhood in turn. + Very truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +The English nation, at least a considerable portion of it, did not wish +to be "pried up to a higher level of manhood" by a Connecticut Yankee. +The papers pretty generally denounced the book as coarse; in fact, a +vulgar travesty. Some of the critics concluded that England, after all, +had made a mistake in admiring Mark Twain. Clemens stood this for a time +and then seems to have decided that something should be done. One of the +foremost of English critics was his friend and admirer; he would state +the case to him fully and invite his assistance. + + + To Andrew Lang, in London: + +[First page missing.] + + 1889 +They vote but do not print. The head tells you pretty promptly whether +the food is satisfactory or not; and everybody hears, and thinks the +whole man has spoken. It is a delusion. Only his taste and his smell +have been heard from--important, both, in a way, but these do not build +up the man; and preserve his life and fortify it. + +The little child is permitted to label its drawings "This is a cow this +is a horse," and so on. This protects the child. It saves it from the +sorrow and wrong of hearing its cows and its horses criticized as +kangaroos and work benches. A man who is white-washing a fence is doing +a useful thing, so also is the man who is adorning a rich man's house +with costly frescoes; and all of us are sane enough to judge these +performances by standards proper to each. Now, then, to be fair, an +author ought to be allowed to put upon his book an explanatory line: +"This is written for the Head;" "This is written for the Belly and the +Members." And the critic ought to hold himself in honor bound to put +away from him his ancient habit of judging all books by one standard, and +thenceforth follow a fairer course. + +The critic assumes, every time, that if a book doesn't meet the +cultivated-class standard, it isn't valuable. Let us apply his law all +around: for if it is sound in the case of novels, narratives, pictures, +and such things, it is certainly sound and applicable to all the steps +which lead up to culture and make culture possible. It condemns the +spelling book, for a spelling book is of no use to a person of culture; +it condemns all school books and all schools which lie between the +child's primer and Greek, and between the infant school and the +university; it condemns all the rounds of art which lie between the cheap +terra cotta groups and the Venus de Medici, and between the chromo and +the Transfiguration; it requires Whitcomb Riley to sing no more till he +can sing like Shakespeare, and it forbids all amateur music and will +grant its sanction to nothing below the "classic." + +Is this an extravagant statement? No, it is a mere statement of fact. +It is the fact itself that is extravagant and grotesque. And what is the +result? This--and it is sufficiently curious: the critic has actually +imposed upon the world the superstition that a painting by Raphael is +more valuable to the civilizations of the earth than is a chromo; and the +august opera than the hurdy-gurdy and the villagers' singing society; and +Homer than the little everybody's-poet whose rhymes are in all mouths +today and will be in nobody's mouth next generation; and the Latin +classics than Kipling's far-reaching bugle-note; and Jonathan Edwards +than the Salvation Army; and the Venus de Medici than the plaster-cast +peddler; the superstition, in a word, that the vast and awful comet that +trails its cold lustre through the remote abysses of space once a century +and interests and instructs a cultivated handful of astronomers is worth +more to the world than the sun which warms and cheers all the nations +every day and makes the crops to grow. + +If a critic should start a religion it would not have any object but to +convert angels: and they wouldn't need it. The thin top crust of +humanity--the cultivated--are worth pacifying, worth pleasing, worth +coddling, worth nourishing and preserving with dainties and delicacies, +it is true; but to be caterer to that little faction is no very dignified +or valuable occupation, it seems to me; it is merely feeding the over- +fed, and there must be small satisfaction in that. It is not that little +minority who are already saved that are best worth trying to uplift, +I should think, but the mighty mass of the uncultivated who are +underneath. That mass will never see the Old Masters--that sight is for +the few; but the chromo maker can lift them all one step upward toward +appreciation of art; they cannot have the opera, but the hurdy-gurdy and +the singing class lift them a little way toward that far light; they will +never know Homer, but the passing rhymester of their day leaves them +higher than he found them; they may never even hear of the Latin +classics, but they will strike step with Kipling's drum-beat, and they +will march; for all Jonathan Edwards's help they would die in their +slums, but the Salvation Army will beguile some of them up to pure air +and a cleaner life; they know no sculpture, the Venus is not even a name +to them, but they are a grade higher in the scale of civilization by the +ministrations of the plaster-cast than they were before it took its place +upon then mantel and made it beautiful to their unexacting eyes. + +Indeed I have been misjudged, from the very first. I have never tried in +even one single instance, to help cultivate the cultivated classes. +I was not equipped for it, either by native gifts or training. And I +never had any ambition in that direction, but always hunted for bigger +game--the masses. I have seldom deliberately tried to instruct them, +but have done my best to entertain them. To simply amuse them would have +satisfied my dearest ambition at any time; for they could get instruction +elsewhere, and I had two chances to help to the teacher's one: for +amusement is a good preparation for study and a good healer of fatigue +after it. My audience is dumb, it has no voice in print, and so I cannot +know whether I have won its approbation or only got its censure. + +Yes, you see, I have always catered for the Belly and the Members, but +have been served like the others--criticized from the culture-standard +--to my sorrow and pain; because, honestly, I never cared what became of +the cultured classes; they could go to the theatre and the opera--they +had no use for me and the melodeon. + +And now at last I arrive at my object and tender my petition, making +supplication to this effect: that the critics adopt a rule recognizing +the Belly and the Members, and formulate a standard whereby work done for +them shall be judged. Help me, Mr. Lang; no voice can reach further than +yours in a case of this kind, or carry greater weight of authority. + + + Lang's reply was an article in the Illustrated London News on "The + Art of Mark Twain." Lang had no admiration to express for the + Yankee, which he confessed he had not cared to read, but he + glorified Huck Finn to the highest. "I can never forget, nor be + ungrateful for the exquisite pleasure with which I read Huckleberry + Finn for the first time, years ago," he wrote; "I read it again last + night, deserting Kenilworth for Huck. I never laid it down till I + had finished it." + + Lang closed his article by referring to the story of Huck as the + "great American novel which had escaped the eyes of those who + watched to see this new planet swim into their ken." + + + + + +LETTERS, 1890, CHIEFLY TO JOS. T. GOODMAN. THE GREAT MACHINE ENTERPRISE + + Dr. John Brown's son, whom Mark Twain and his wife had known in 1873 + as "Jock," sent copies of Dr. John Brown and His Sister Isabella, by + E. T. McLaren. It was a gift appreciated in the Clemens home. + + + To Mr. John Brown, in Edinburgh, Scotland: + + HARTFORD, Feby 11, 1890. +DEAR MR. BROWN,--Both copies came, and we are reading and re-reading the +one, and lending the other, to old time adorers of "Rab and his Friends." +It is an exquisite book; the perfection of literary workmanship. It says +in every line, "Don't look at me, look at him"--and one tries to be good +and obey; but the charm of the painter is so strong that one can't keep +his entire attention on the developing portrait, but must steal side- +glimpses of the artist, and try to divine the trick of her felicitous +brush. In this book the doctor lives and moves just as he was. He was +the most extensive slave-holder of his time, and the kindest; and yet he +died without setting one of his bondmen free. We all send our very, very +kindest regards. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + If Mark Twain had been less interested in the type-setting machine + he might possibly have found a profit that winter in the old Sellers + play, which he had written with Howells seven years before. The + play had eventually been produced at the Lyceum Theatre in New York, + with A. P. Burbank in the leading role, and Clemens and Howells as + financial backers. But it was a losing investment, nor did it pay + any better when Clemens finally sent Burbank with it on the road. + Now, however, James A. Herne, a well-known actor and playwright, + became interested in the idea, after a discussion of the matter with + Howells, and there seemed a probability that with changes made under + Herne's advisement the play might be made sensible and successful. + + But Mark Twain's greater interest was now all in the type-machine, + and certainly he had no money to put into any other venture. His + next letter to Goodman is illuminating--the urgency of his need for + funds opposed to that conscientiousness which was one of the most + positive forces of Mark Twain's body spiritual. The Mr. Arnot of + this letter was an Elmira capitalist. + + + To Jos. T. Goodman, in California: + + HARTFORD, March 31, '90. +DEAR JOE,--If you were here, I should say, "Get you to Washington and beg +Senator Jones to take the chances and put up about ten or "--no, I +wouldn't. The money would burn a hole in my pocket and get away from me +if the furnisher of it were proceeding upon merely your judgment and mine +and without other evidence. It is too much of a responsibility. + +But I am in as close a place to-day as ever I was; $3,000 due for the +last month's machine-expenses, and the purse empty. I notified Mr. Arnot +a month ago that I should want $5,000 to-day, and his check arrived last +night; but I sent it back to him, because when he bought of me on the 9th +of December I said that I would not draw upon him for 3 months, and that +before that date Senator Jones would have examined the machine and +approved, or done the other thing. If Jones should arrive here a week or +ten days from now (as he expects to do,) and should not approve, and +shouldn't buy any royalties, my deal with Arnot would not be +symmetrically square, and then how could I refund? The surest way was to +return his check. + +I have talked with the madam, and here is the result. I will go down to +the factory and notify Paige that I will scrape together $6,000 to meet +the March and April expenses, and will retire on the 30th of April and +return the assignment to him if in the meantime I have not found +financial relief. + +It is very rough; for the machine does at last seem perfect, and just a +bird to go! I think she's going to be good for 8,000 ems an hour in the +hands of a good ordinary man after a solid year's practice. I may be in +error, but I most solidly believe it. + +There's an improved Mergenthaler in New York; Paige and Davis and I +watched it two whole afternoons. + With the love of us all, + MARK. + + + Arnot wrote Clemens urging him to accept the check for five thousand + dollars in this moment of need. Clemens was probably as sorely + tempted to compromise with his conscience as he had ever been in his + life, but his resolution field firm. + + + To M. H. Arnot, in Elmira, N. Y.: + +MR. M. H. ARNOT + +DEAR SIR,--No--no, I could not think of taking it, with you unsatisfied; +and you ought not to be satisfied until you have made personal +examination of the machine and had a consensus of testimony of +disinterested people, besides. My own perfect knowledge of what is +required of such a machine, and my perfect knowledge of the fact that +this is the only machine that can meet that requirement, make it +difficult for me to realize that a doubt is possible to less well-posted +men; and so I would have taken your money without thinking, and thus +would have done a great wrong to you and a great one to myself. And now +that I go back over the ground, I remember that where I said I could get +along 3 months without drawing on you, that delay contemplated a visit +from you to the machine in the interval, and your satisfaction with its +character and prospects. I had forgotten all that. But I remember it +now; and the fact that it was not "so nominated in the bond" does not +alter the case or justify me in making my call so prematurely. I do not +know that you regarded all that as a part of the bargain--for you were +thoroughly and magnanimously unexacting--but I so regarded it, +notwithstanding I have so easily managed to forget all about it. + +You so gratified me, and did me so much honor in bonding yourself to me +in a large sum, upon no evidence but my word and with no protection but +my honor, that my pride in that is much stronger than my desire to reap a +money advantage from it. + +With the sincerest appreciation I am Truly yours + S L. CLEMENS. + +P. S. I have written a good many words and yet I seem to have failed to +say the main thing in exact enough language--which is, that the +transaction between us is not complete and binding until you shall have +convinced yourself that the machine's character and prospects are +satisfactory. + +I ought to explain that the grippe delayed us some weeks, and that we +have since been waiting for Mr. Jones. When he was ready, we were not; +and now we have been ready more than a month, while he has been kept in +Washington by the Silver bill. He said the other day that to venture out +of the Capitol for a day at this time could easily chance to hurt him if +the bill came up for action, meantime, although it couldn't hurt the +bill, which would pass anyway. Mrs. Jones said she would send me two or +three days' notice, right after the passage of the bill, and that they +would follow as soon as I should return word that their coming would not +inconvenience us. I suppose I ought to go to New York without waiting +for Mr. Jones, but it would not be wise to go there without money. + +The bill is still pending. + + + The Mergenthaler machine, like the Paige, was also at this time in + the middle stages of experimental development. It was a slower + machine, but it was simpler, less expensive, occupied less room. + There was not so much about it to get out of order; it was not so + delicate, not so human. These were immense advantages. + + But no one at this time could say with certainty which typesetter + would reap the harvest of millions. It was only sure that at least + one of them would, and the Mergenthaler people were willing to trade + stock for stock with the Paige company in order to insure financial + success for both, whichever won. Clemens, with a faith that never + faltered, declined this offer, a decision that was to cost him + millions. + + Winter and spring had gone and summer had come, but still there had + been no financial conclusion with Jones, Mackay, and the other rich + Californians who were to put up the necessary million for the + machine's manufacture. Goodman was spending a large part of his + time traveling back and forth between California and Washington, + trying to keep business going at both ends. Paige spent most of his + time working out improvements for the type-setter, delicate + attachments which complicated its construction more and more. + + + To Joe T. Goodman, in Washington: + + HARTFORD, June 22, '90. +DEAR JOE,--I have been sitting by the machine 2 hours, this afternoon, +and my admiration of it towers higher than ever. There is no sort of +mistake about it, it is the Big Bonanza. In the 2 hours, the time lost +by type-breakage was 3 minutes. + +This machine is totally without a rival. Rivalry with it is impossible. +Last Friday, Fred Whitmore (it was the 28th day of his apprenticeship on +the machine) stacked up 49,700 ems of solid nonpareil in 8 hours, and the +type-breaking delay was only 6 minutes for the day. + +I claim yet, as I have always claimed, that the machine's market (abroad +and here together,) is today worth $150,000,000 without saying anything +about the doubling and trebling of this sum that will follow within the +life of the patents. Now here is a queer fact: I am one of the +wealthiest grandees in America--one of the Vanderbilt gang, in fact--and +yet if you asked me to lend you a couple of dollars I should have to ask +you to take my note instead. + +It makes me cheerful to sit by the machine: come up with Mrs. Goodman and +refresh yourself with a draught of the same. + Ys ever + MARK. + + + The machine was still breaking the types now and then, and no doubt + Paige was itching to take it to pieces, and only restrained by force + from doing so. He was never thoroughly happy unless he was taking + the machine apart or setting it up again. Finally, he was allowed + to go at it--a disasterous permission, for it was just then that + Jones decided to steal a day or two from the Silver Bill and watch + the type-setter in operation. Paige already had it in parts when + this word came from Goodman, and Jones's visit had to be called off. + His enthusiasm would seem to have weakened from that day. In July, + Goodman wrote that both Mackay and Jones had become somewhat + diffident in the matter of huge capitalization. He thought it + partly due, at least, to "the fatal delays that have sicklied over + the bloom of original enthusiasm." Clemens himself went down to + Washington and perhaps warmed Jones with his eloquence; at least, + Jones seemed to have agreed to make some effort in the matter a + qualified promise, the careful word of a wary politician and + capitalist. How many Washington trips were made is not certain, but + certainly more than one. Jones would seem to have suggested forms + of contracts, but if he came to the point of signing any there is no + evidence of it to-day. + + Any one who has read Mark Twain's, "A Connecticut Yankee in King + Arthur's Court," has a pretty good idea of his opinion of kings in + general, and tyrants in particular. Rule by "divine right," however + liberal, was distasteful to him; where it meant oppression it + stirred him to violence. In his article, "The Czar's Soliloquy," he + gave himself loose rein concerning atrocities charged to the master + of Russia, and in a letter which he wrote during the summer of 1890, + he offered a hint as to remedies. The letter was written by + editorial request, but was never mailed. Perhaps it seemed too + openly revolutionary at the moment. + + Yet scarcely more than a quarter of a century was needed to make it + "timely." Clemens and his family were spending some weeks in the + Catskills when it was written. + + + An unpublished letter on the Czar. + + ONTEORA, 1890. +TO THE EDITOR OF FREE RUSSIA,--I thank you for the compliment of your +invitation to say something, but when I ponder the bottom paragraph on +your first page, and then study your statement on your third page, of the +objects of the several Russian liberation-parties, I do not quite know +how to proceed. Let me quote here the paragraph referred to: + +"But men's hearts are so made that the sight of one voluntary victim for +a noble idea stirs them more deeply than the sight of a crowd submitting +to a dire fate they cannot escape. Besides, foreigners could not see so +clearly as the Russians how much the Government was responsible for the +grinding poverty of the masses; nor could they very well realize the +moral wretchedness imposed by that Government upon the whole of educated +Russia. But the atrocities committed upon the defenceless prisoners are +there in all their baseness, concrete and palpable, admitting of no +excuse, no doubt or hesitation, crying out to the heart of humanity +against Russian tyranny. And the Tzar's Government, stupidly confident +in its apparently unassailable position, instead of taking warning from +the first rebukes, seems to mock this humanitarian age by the aggravation +of brutalities. Not satisfied with slowly killing its prisoners, and +with burying the flower of our young generation in the Siberian desserts, +the Government of Alexander III. resolved to break their spirit by +deliberately submitting them to a regime of unheard-of brutality and +degradation." + +When one reads that paragraph in the glare of George Kennan's +revelations, and considers how much it means; considers that all earthly +figures fail to typify the Czar's government, and that one must descend +into hell to find its counterpart, one turns hopefully to your statement +of the objects of the several liberation-parties--and is disappointed. +Apparently none of them can bear to think of losing the present hell +entirely, they merely want the temperature cooled down a little. + +I now perceive why all men are the deadly and uncompromising enemies of +the rattlesnake: it is merely because the rattlesnake has not speech. +Monarchy has speech, and by it has been able to persuade men that it +differs somehow from the rattlesnake, has something valuable about it +somewhere, something worth preserving, something even good and high and +fine, when properly "modified," something entitling it to protection from +the club of the first comer who catches it out of its hole. It seems a +most strange delusion and not reconcilable with our superstition that man +is a reasoning being. If a house is afire, we reason confidently that it +is the first comer's plain duty to put the fire out in any way he can-- +drown it with water, blow it up with dynamite, use any and all means to +stop the spread of the fire and save the rest of the city. What is the +Czar of Russia but a house afire in the midst of a city of eighty +millions of inhabitants? Yet instead of extinguishing him, together with +his nest and system, the liberation-parties are all anxious to merely +cool him down a little and keep him. + +It seems to me that this is illogical--idiotic, in fact. Suppose you had +this granite-hearted, bloody-jawed maniac of Russia loose in your house, +chasing the helpless women and little children--your own. What would you +do with him, supposing you had a shotgun? Well, he is loose in your +house-Russia. And with your shotgun in your hand, you stand trying to +think up ways to "modify" him. + +Do these liberation-parties think that they can succeed in a project +which has been attempted a million times in the history of the world and +has never in one single instance been successful--the "modification" of a +despotism by other means than bloodshed? They seem to think they can. +My privilege to write these sanguinary sentences in soft security was +bought for me by rivers of blood poured upon many fields, in many lands, +but I possess not one single little paltry right or privilege that come +to me as a result of petition, persuasion, agitation for reform, or any +kindred method of procedure. When we consider that not even the most +responsible English monarch ever yielded back a stolen public right until +it was wrenched from them by bloody violence, is it rational to suppose +that gentler methods can win privileges in Russia? + +Of course I know that the properest way to demolish the Russian throne +would be by revolution. But it is not possible to get up a revolution +there; so the only thing left to do, apparently, is to keep the throne +vacant by dynamite until a day when candidates shall decline with thanks. +Then organize the Republic. And on the whole this method has some large +advantages; for whereas a revolution destroys some lives which cannot +well be spared, the dynamite way doesn't. Consider this: the +conspirators against the Czar's life are caught in every rank of life, +from the low to the high. And consider: if so many take an active part, +where the peril is so dire, is this not evidence that the sympathizers +who keep still and do not show their hands, are countless for multitudes? +Can you break the hearts of thousands of families with the awful Siberian +exodus every year for generations and not eventually cover all Russia +from limit to limit with bereaved fathers and mothers and brothers and +sisters who secretly hate the perpetrator of this prodigious crime and +hunger and thirst for his life? Do you not believe that if your wife or +your child or your father was exiled to the mines of Siberia for some +trivial utterances wrung from a smarting spirit by the Czar's intolerable +tyranny, and you got a chance to kill him and did not do it, that you +would always be ashamed to be in your own society the rest of your life? +Suppose that that refined and lovely Russian lady who was lately stripped +bare before a brutal soldiery and whipped to death by the Czar's hand in +the person of the Czar's creature had been your wife, or your daughter or +your sister, and to-day the Czar should pass within reach of your hand, +how would you feel--and what would you do? Consider, that all over vast +Russia, from boundary to boundary, a myriad of eyes filled with tears +when that piteous news came, and through those tears that myriad of eyes +saw, not that poor lady, but lost darlings of their own whose fate her +fate brought back with new access of grief out of a black and bitter past +never to be forgotten or forgiven. + +If I am a Swinburnian--and clear to the marrow I am--I hold human nature +in sufficient honor to believe there are eighty million mute Russians +that are of the same stripe, and only one Russian family that isn't. + + MARK TWAIN. + + + Type-setter matters were going badly. Clemens still had faith in + Jones, and he had lost no grain of faith in the machine. The money + situation, however, was troublesome. With an expensive + establishment, and work of one sort or another still to be done on + the machine, his income would not reach. Perhaps Goodman had + already given up hope, for he does not seem to have returned from + California after the next letter was written--a colorless letter-- + in which we feel a note of resignation. The last few lines are + sufficient. + + + To Joe T. Goodman, in California: + +DEAR JOE,--...... I wish you could get a day off and make those two or +three Californians buy those privileges, for I'm going to need money +before long. + +I don't know where the Senator is; but out on the Coast I reckon. + +I guess we've got a perfect machine at last. We never break a type, now, +and the new device for enabling the operator to touch the last letters +and justify the line simultaneously works, to a charm. + With love to you both, + MARK + + + The year closed gloomily enough. The type-setter seemed to be + perfected, but capital for its manufacture was not forthcoming. + The publishing business of Charles L. Webster & Co. was returning + little or no profit. Clemens's mother had died in Keokuk at the end + of October, and his wife's mother, in Elmira a month later. Mark + Twain, writing a short business letter to his publishing manager, + Fred J. Ball, closed it: "Merry Xmas to you!--and I wish to God I + could have one myself before I die." + + + + +XXXI + +LETTERS, 1891, TO HOWELLS, MRS. CLEMENS AND OTHERS. +RETURN TO LITERATURE. AMERICAN CLAIMANT. LEAVING HARTFORD. +EUROPE. DOWN THE RHINE + +Clemens was still not without hope in the machine, at the beginning of +the new year (1891) but it was a hope no longer active, and it presently +became a moribund. Jones, on about the middle of February, backed out +altogether, laying the blame chiefly on Mackay and the others, who, he +said, had decided not to invest. Jones "let his victim down easy" with +friendly words, but it was the end, for the present, at least, of machine +financiering. + +It was also the end of Mark Twain's capital. His publishing business was +not good. It was already in debt and needing more money. There was just +one thing for him to do and he did it at once, not stopping to cry over +spilt milk, but with good courage and the old enthusiasm that never +failed him, he returned to the trade of authorship. He dug out half- +finished articles and stories, finished them and sold them, and within a +week after the Jones collapse he was at work on a novel based an the old +Sellers idea, which eight years before he and Howells had worked into a +play. The brief letter in which he reported this news to Howells bears +no marks of depression, though the writer of it was in his fifty-sixth +year; he was by no means well, and his financial prospects were anything +but golden. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 24, '91 +DEAR HOWELLS,--Mrs. Clemens has been sick abed for near two weeks, but is +up and around the room now, and gaining. I don't know whether she has +written Mrs. Howells or not--I only know she was going to--and will yet, +if she hasn't. We are promising ourselves a whole world of pleasure in +the visit, and you mustn't dream of disappointing us. + +Does this item stir an interest in you? Began a novel four days ago, and +this moment finished chapter four. Title of the book + + "Colonel Mulberry Sellers. + American Claimant + Of the + Great Earldom of Rossmore' + in the + Peerage of Great Britain." + + Ys Ever + MARK. + + +Probably Mark Twain did not return to literary work reluctantly. He had +always enjoyed writing and felt now that he was equipped better than ever +for authorship, at least so far as material was concerned. There exists +a fragmentary copy of a letter to some unknown correspondent, in which he +recites his qualifications. It bears evidence of having been written +just at this time and is of unusual interest at this point. + + + Fragment of Letter to -------, 1891: + +. . . . I confine myself to life with which I am familiar when +pretending to portray life. But I confined myself to the boy-life out on +the Mississippi because that had a peculiar charm for me, and not because +I was not familiar with other phases of life. I was a soldier two weeks +once in the beginning of the war, and was hunted like a rat the whole +time. Familiar? My splendid Kipling himself hasn't a more burnt-in, +hard-baked, and unforgetable familiarity with that death-on-the-pale- +horse-with-hell-following-after, which is a raw soldier's first fortnight +in the field--and which, without any doubt, is the most tremendous +fortnight and the vividest he is ever going to see. + +Yes, and I have shoveled silver tailings in a quartz-mill a couple of +weeks, and acquired the last possibilities of culture in that direction. +And I've done "pocket-mining" during three months in the one little patch +of ground in the whole globe where Nature conceals gold in pockets--or +did before we robbed all of those pockets and exhausted, obliterated, +annihilated the most curious freak Nature ever indulged in. There are +not thirty men left alive who, being told there was a pocket hidden on +the broad slope of a mountain, would know how to go and find it, or have +even the faintest idea of how to set about it; but I am one of the +possible 20 or 30 who possess the secret, and I could go and put my hand +on that hidden treasure with a most deadly precision. + +And I've been a prospector, and know pay rock from poor when I find it-- +just with a touch of the tongue. And I've been a silver miner and know +how to dig and shovel and drill and put in a blast. And so I know the +mines and the miners interiorly as well as Bret Harte knows them +exteriorly. + +And I was a newspaper reporter four years in cities, and so saw the +inside of many things; and was reporter in a legislature two sessions +and the same in Congress one session, and thus learned to know personally +three sample bodies of the smallest minds and the selfishest souls and +the cowardliest hearts that God makes. + +And I was some years a Mississippi pilot, and familiarly knew all the +different kinds of steam-boatmen--a race apart, and not like other folk. + +And I was for some years a traveling "jour" printer, and wandered from +city to city--and so I know that sect familiarly. + +And I was a lecturer on the public platform a number of seasons and was a +responder to toasts at all the different kinds of banquets--and so I know +a great many secrets about audiences--secrets not to be got out of books, +but only acquirable by experience. + +And I watched over one dear project of mine for years, spent a fortune on +it, and failed to make it go--and the history of that would make a large +book in which a million men would see themselves as in a mirror; and they +would testify and say, Verily, this is not imagination; this fellow has +been there--and after would cast dust upon their heads, cursing and +blaspheming. + +And I am a publisher, and did pay to one author's widow (General Grant's) +the largest copyright checks this world has seen--aggregating more than +L80,000 in the first year. + +And I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55. + +Now then; as the most valuable capital or culture or education usable in +the building of novels is personal experience I ought to be well equipped +for that trade. + +I surely have the equipment, a wide culture, and all of it real, none of +it artificial, for I don't know anything about books. + + [No signature.] + + + Clemens for several years had been bothered by rheumatism in his + shoulder. The return now to the steady use of the pen aggravated + his trouble, and at times he was nearly disabled. The phonograph + for commercial dictation had been tried experimentally, and Mark + Twain was always ready for any innovation. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Feb. 28, '91. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Won't you drop-in at the Boylston Building (New England +Phonograph Co) and talk into a phonograph in an ordinary conversation- +voice and see if another person (who didn't hear you do it) can take the +words from the thing without difficulty and repeat them to you. If the +experiment is satisfactory (also make somebody put in a message which you +don't hear, and see if afterward you can get it out without difficulty) +won't you then ask them on what terms they will rent me a phonograph for +3 months and furnish me cylinders enough to carry 75,000 words. 175 +cylinders, ain't it? + +I don't want to erase any of them. My right arm is nearly disabled by +rheumatism, but I am bound to write this book (and sell 100,000 copies of +it--no, I mean a million--next fall) I feel sure I can dictate the book +into a phonograph if I don't have to yell. I write 2,000 words a day; I +think I can dictate twice as many. + +But mind, if this is going to be too much trouble to you--go ahead and do +it, all the same. + Ys ever + MARK. + + + Howells, always willing to help, visited the phonograph place, and a + few days later reported results. He wrote: "I talked your letter + into a fonograf in my usual tone at my usual gait of speech. Then + the fonograf man talked his answer in at his wonted swing and swell. + Then we took the cylinder to a type-writer in the next room, and she + put the hooks into her ears and wrote the whole out. I send you the + result. There is a mistake of one word. I think that if you have + the cheek to dictate the story into the fonograf, all the rest is + perfectly easy. It wouldn't fatigue me to talk for an hour as I + did." + + Clemens did not find the phonograph entirely satisfactory, at least + not for a time, and he appears never to have used it steadily. His + early experience with it, however, seems interesting. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 4, '91. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I'm ashamed. It happened in this way. I was proposing to +acknowledge the receipt of the play and the little book per phonograph, +so that you could see that the instrument is good enough for mere letter- +writing; then I meant to add the fact that you can't write literature +with it, because it hasn't any ideas and it hasn't any gift for +elaboration, or smartness of talk, or vigor of action, or felicity of +expression, but is just matter-of-fact, compressive, unornamental, and as +grave and unsmiling as the devil. + +I filled four dozen cylinders in two sittings, then found I could have +said about as much with the pen and said it a deal better. Then I +resigned. + +I believe it could teach one to dictate literature to a phonographer--and +some time I will experiment in that line. + +The little book is charmingly written, and it interested me. But it +flies too high for me. Its concretest things are filmy abstractions to +me, and when I lay my grip on one of them and open my hand, I feel as +embarrassed as I use to feel when I thought I had caught a fly. I'm +going to try to mail it back to you to-day--I mean I am going to charge +my memory. Charging my memory is one of my chief industries .... + +With our loves and our kindest regards distributed among you according to +the proprieties. + Yrs ever + MARK. + +P. S.--I'm sending that ancient "Mental Telegraphy" article to Harper's +--with a modest postscript. Probably read it to you years ago. + S. L. C. + + + The "little book" mentioned in this letter was by Swedenborg, an + author in whom the Boston literary set was always deeply interested. + "Mental Telegraphy" appeared in Harper's Magazine, and is now + included in the Uniform Edition of Mark Twain's books. It was + written in 1878. + + Joe Goodman had long since returned to California, it being clear + that nothing could be gained by remaining in Washington. On receipt + of the news of the type-setter's collapse he sent a consoling word. + Perhaps he thought Clemens would rage over the unhappy circumstance, + and possibly hold him in some measure to blame. But it was + generally the smaller annoyances of life that made Mark Twain rage; + the larger catastrophes were likely to stir only his philosophy. + + The Library of American Literature, mentioned in the following + letter, was a work in many volumes, edited by Edmund Clarence + Stedman and Ellen Mackay Hutchinson. + + + To Joe T. Goodman: + + April [?] 1891. +DEAR JOE, Well, it's all right, anyway. Diplomacy couldn't have saved +it--diplomacy of mine--at that late day. I hadn't any diplomacy in +stock, anyway. In order to meet Jones's requirements I had to surrender +the old contract (a contract which made me boss of the situation and gave +me the whip-hand of Paige) and allow the new one to be drafted and put in +its place. I was running an immense risk, but it was justified by +Jones's promises--promises made to me not merely once but every time I +tallied with him. When February arrived, I saw signs which were mighty +plain reading. Signs which meant that Paige was hoping and praying that +Jones would go back on me--which would leave Paige boss, and me robbed +and out in the cold. His prayers were answered, and I am out in the +cold. If I ever get back my nine-twentieths interest, it will be by law- +suit--which will be instituted in the indefinite future, when the time +comes. + +I am at work again--on a book. Not with a great deal of spirit, but with +enough--yes, plenty. And I am pushing my publishing house. It has +turned the corner after cleaning $50,000 a year for three consecutive +years, and piling every cent of it into one book--Library of American +Literature--and from next January onward it will resume dividends. But +I've got to earn $50,000 for it between now and then--which I will do if +I keep my health. This additional capital is needed for that same book, +because its prosperity is growing so great and exacting. + +It is dreadful to think of you in ill health--I can't realize it; you are +always to me the same that you were in those days when matchless health. +and glowing spirits and delight in life were commonplaces with us. Lord +save us all from old age and broken health and a hope-tree that has lost +the faculty of putting out blossoms. + + With love to you both from us all. + MARK. + + + Mark Twain's residence in Hartford was drawing rapidly to a close. + Mrs. Clemens was poorly, and his own health was uncertain. They + believed that some of the European baths would help them. + Furthermore, Mark Twain could no longer afford the luxury of his + Hartford home. In Europe life could be simpler and vastly cheaper. + He was offered a thousand dollars apiece for six European letters, + by the McClure syndicate and W. M. Laffan, of the Sun. This would + at least give him a start on the other side. The family began + immediately their sad arrangements for departure. + + + To Fred J. Hall (manager Chas. L. Webster & Co.), N. Y.: + + HARTFORD, Apl. 14, '91. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Privately--keep it to yourself--as you, are already +aware, we are going to Europe in June, for an indefinite stay. We shall +sell the horses and shut up the house. We wish to provide a place for +our coachman, who has been with us a 21 years, and is sober, active, +diligent, and unusually bright and capable. You spoke of hiring a +colored man as engineer and helper in the packing room. Patrick would +soon learn that trade and be very valuable. We will cease to need him by +the middle or end of June. Have you made irrevocable arrangements with +the colored man, or would you prefer to have Patrick, if he thinks he +would like to try? + +I have not said anything to him about it yet. + + Yours + S. L. C. + + + It was to be a complete breaking up of their beautiful + establishment. Patrick McAleer, George the butler, and others of + their household help had been like members of the family. We may + guess at the heartbreak of it all, even though the letters remain + cheerful. + + Howells, strangely enough, seems to have been about the last one to + be told of their European plans; in fact, he first got wind of it + from the papers, and wrote for information. Likely enough Clemens + had not until then had the courage to confess. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + HARTFORD, May 20, '91. +DEAR HOWELLS,--For her health's sake Mrs. Clemens must try baths +somewhere, and this it is that has determined us to go to Europe. +The water required seems to be provided at a little obscure and little- +visited nook up in the hills back of the Rhine somewhere and you get to +it by Rhine traffic-boat and country stage-coach. Come, get "sick or +sorry enough" and join us. We shall be a little while at that bath, and +the rest of the summer at Annecy (this confidential to you) in Haute +Savoie, 22 miles from Geneva. Spend the winters in Berlin. I don't know +how long we shall be in Europe--I have a vote, but I don't cast it. I'm +going to do whatever the others desire, with leave to change their mind, +without prejudice, whenever they want to. Travel has no longer, any +charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to see except +heaven and hell, and I have only a vague curiosity as concerns one of +those. + +I found I couldn't use the play--I had departed too far from its lines +when I came to look at it. I thought I might get a great deal of +dialogue out of it, but I got only 15 loosely written pages--they saved +me half a days work. It was the cursing phonograph. There was abundance +of good dialogue, but it couldn't befitted into the new conditions of the +story. + +Oh, look here--I did to-day what I have several times in past years +thought of doing: answered an interviewing proposition from a rich +newspaper with the reminder that they had not stated the terms; that my +time was all occupied with writing, at good pay, and that as talking was +harder work I should not care to venture it unless I knew the pay was +going to be proportionately higher. I wish I had thought of this the +other day when Charley Stoddard turned a pleasant Englishman loose on me +and I couldn't think of any rational excuse. + Ys Ever + MARK. + + + Clemens had finished his Sellers book and had disposed of the serial + rights to the McClure syndicate. The house in Hartford was closed + early in June, and on the 6th the family, with one maid, Katie + Leary, sailed on the Gascogne. Two weeks later they had begun a + residence abroad which was to last for more than nine years. + + It was not easy to get to work in Europe. Clemens's arm remained + lame, and any effort at writing brought suffering. The Century + Magazine proposed another set of letters, but by the end of July he + had barely begun on those promised to McClure and Laffan. In + August, however, he was able to send three: one from Aix about the + baths there, another from Bayreuth concerning the Wagner festival, + and a third from Marienbad, in Bohemia, where they rested for a + time. He decided that he would arrange for no more European letters + when the six were finished, but would gather material for a book. + He would take a courier and a kodak and go tramping again in some + fashion that would be interesting to do and to write. + + The idea finally matured when he reached Switzerland and settled the + family at the Hotel Beau Rivage, Ouchy, Lausanne, facing Lake Leman. + He decided to make a floating trip down the Rhone, and he engaged + Joseph Very, a courier that had served him on a former European + trip, to accompany him. The courier went over to Bourget and bought + for five dollars a flat-bottomed boat and engaged its owner as their + pilot. It was the morning of September 20, when they began their + floating-trip down the beautiful historic river that flows through + the loveliest and most romantic region of France. He wrote daily to + Mrs. Clemens, and his letters tell the story of that drowsy, happy + experience better than the notes made with a view to publication. + Clemens had arrived at Lake Bourget on the evening before the + morning of their start and slept on the Island of Chatillon, in an + old castle of the same name. Lake Bourget connects with the Rhone + by a small canal. + + + Letters and Memoranda to Mrs. Clemens, in Ouchy, Switzerland: + + Sept. 20, 1891. + Sunday, 11 a.m. +On the lake Bourget--just started. The castle of Chatillon high overhead +showing above the trees. It was a wonderfully still place to sleep in. +Beside us there was nobody in it but a woman, a boy and a dog. A Pope +was born in the room I slept in. No, he became a Pope later. + +The lake is smooth as glass--a brilliant sun is shining. + +Our boat is comfortable and shady with its awning. + +11.20 We have crossed the lake and are entering the canal. Shall +presently be in the Rhone. + +Noon. Nearly down to the Rhone. Passing the village of Chanaz. + +3.15 p. m. Sunday. We have been in the Rhone 3 hours. It is +unimaginably still and reposeful and cool and soft and breezy. No rowing +or work of any kind to do--we merely float with the current--we glide +noiseless and swift--as fast as a London cab-horse rips along--8 miles an +hour--the swiftest current I've ever boated in. We have the entire river +to ourselves--nowhere a boat of any kind. + Good bye Sweetheart + S. L. C. + + + PORT DE GROLEE, Monday, 4.15 p.m. + [Sept. 21, 1891] +Name of the village which we left five minutes ago. + +We went ashore at 5 p. m. yesterday, dear heart, and walked a short mile +to St. Geuix, a big village, and took quarters at the principal inn; had +a good dinner and afterwards along walk out of town on the banks of the +Guiers till 7.30. + +Went to bed at 8.30 and continued to make notes and read books and +newspapers till midnight. Slept until 8, breakfasted in bed, and lay +till noon, because there had been a very heavy rain in the night and the +day was still dark and lowering. But at noon the sun broke through and +in 15 minutes we were tramping toward the river. Got afloat at 1 p. m. +but at 2.40 we had to rush suddenly ashore and take refuge in the above +village. Just as we got ourselves and traps safely housed in the inn, +the rain let go and came down in great style. We lost an hour and a half +there, but we are off again, now, with bright sunshine. + +I wrote you yesterday my darling, and shall expect to write you every +day. + +Good-day, and love to all of you. + SAML. + + + ON THE RHONE BELOW VILLEBOIS, + Tuesday noon. +Good morning, sweetheart. Night caught us yesterday where we had to take +quarters in a peasant's house which was occupied by the family and a lot +of cows and calves--also several rabbits.--[His word for fleas.]--The +latter had a ball, and I was the ball-room; but they were very friendly +and didn't bite. + +The peasants were mighty kind and hearty, and flew around and did their +best to make us comfortable. This morning I breakfasted on the shore in +the open air with two sociable dogs and a cat. Clean cloth, napkin and +table furniture, white sugar, a vast hunk of excellent butter, good +bread, first class coffee with pure milk, fried fish just caught. +Wonderful that so much cleanliness should come out of such a phenomenally +dirty house. + +An hour ago we saw the Falls of the Rhone, a prodigiously rough and +dangerous looking place; shipped a little water but came to no harm. +It was one of the most beautiful pieces of piloting and boat-management +I ever saw. Our admiral knew his business. + +We have had to run ashore for shelter every time it has rained +heretofore, but Joseph has been putting in his odd time making a water- +proof sun-bonnet for the boat, and now we sail along dry although we had +many heavy showers this morning. + +With a word of love to you all and particularly you, + SAML. + + + ON THE RHONE, BELOW VIENNA. +I salute you, my darling. Your telegram reached me in Lyons last night +and was very pleasant news indeed. + +I was up and shaved before 8 this morning, but we got delayed and didn't +sail from Lyons till 10.3O--an hour and a half lost. And we've lost +another hour--two of them, I guess--since, by an error. We came in sight +of Vienne at 2 o'clock, several miles ahead, on a hill, and I proposed to +walk down there and let the boat go ahead of us. So Joseph and I got out +and struck through a willow swamp along a dim path, and by and by came +out on the steep bank of a slough or inlet or something, and we followed +that bank forever and ever trying to get around the head of that slough. +Finally I noticed a twig standing up in the water, and by George it had a +distinct and even vigorous quiver to it! I don't know when I have felt +so much like a donkey. On an island! I wanted to drown somebody, but I +hadn't anybody I could spare. However, after another long tramp we found +a lonely native, and he had a scow and soon we were on the mainland--yes, +and a blamed sight further from Vienne than we were when we started. + +Notes--I make millions of them; and so I get no time to write to you. If +you've got a pad there, please send it poste-restante to Avignon. I may +not need it but I fear I shall. + +I'm straining to reach St. Pierre de Boef, but it's going to be a close +fit, I reckon. + + + AFLOAT, Friday, 3 p.m., '91. +Livy darling, we sailed from St. Pierre de Boef six hours ago, and are +now approaching Tournon, where we shall not stop, but go on and make +Valence, a City Of 25,000 people. It's too delicious, floating with the +swift current under the awning these superb sunshiny days in deep peace +and quietness. Some of these curious old historical towns strangely +persuade me, but it is so lovely afloat that I don't stop, but view them +from the outside and sail on. We get abundance of grapes and peaches for +next to nothing. + +Joseph is perfect. He is at his very best--and never was better in his +life. I guess he gets discouraged and feels disliked and in the way when +he is lying around--but here he is perfection, and brim full of useful +alacrities and helps and ingenuities. + +When I woke up an hour ago and heard the clock strike 4, I said "I seem +to have been asleep an immensely long time; I must have gone to bed +mighty early; I wonder what time I did go to bed." And I got up and lit +a candle and looked at my watch to see. + + + AFLOAT + 2 HOURS BELOW BOURG ST. ANDEOL. + Monday, 11 a.m., Sept. 28. +Livy darling, I didn't write yesterday. We left La Voulte in a driving +storm of cold rain--couldn't write in it--and at 1 p. m. when we were +not thinking of stopping, we saw a picturesque and mighty ruin on a high +hill back of a village, and I was seized with a desire to explore it; so +we landed at once and set out with rubbers and umbrella, sending the boat +ahead to St. Andeol, and we spent 3 hours clambering about those cloudy +heights among those worn and vast and idiotic ruins of a castle built by +two crusaders 650 years ago. The work of these asses was full of +interest, and we had a good time inspecting, examining and scrutinizing +it. All the hills on both sides of the Rhone have peaks and precipices, +and each has its gray and wasted pile of mouldy walls and broken towers. +The Romans displaced the Gauls, the Visigoths displaced the Romans, the +Saracens displaced the Visigoths, the Christians displaced the Saracens, +and it was these pious animals who built these strange lairs and cut each +other's throats in the name and for the glory of God, and robbed and +burned and slew in peace and war; and the pauper and the slave built +churches, and the credit of it went to the Bishop who racked the money +out of them. These are pathetic shores, and they make one despise the +human race. + +We came down in an hour by rail, but I couldn't get your telegram till +this morning, for it was Sunday and they had shut up the post office to +go to the circus. I went, too. It was all one family--parents and 5 +children--performing in the open air to 200 of these enchanted villagers, +who contributed coppers when called on. It was a most gay and strange +and pathetic show. I got up at 7 this morning to see the poor devils +cook their poor breakfast and pack up their sordid fineries. + +This is a 9 k-m. current and the wind is with us; we shall make Avignon +before 4 o'clock. I saw watermelons and pomegranates for sale at St. +Andeol. + + With a power of love, Sweetheart, + SAML. + + + HOTEL D'EUROPE, AVIGNON, + Monday, 6 p.m., Sept. 28. +Well, Livy darling, I have been having a perfect feast of letters for an +hour, and I thank you and dear Clam with all my heart. It's like hearing +from home after a long absence. + +It is early to be in bed, but I'm always abed before 9, on this voyage; +and up at 7 or a trifle later, every morning. If I ever take such a trip +again, I will have myself called at the first tinge of dawn and get to +sea as soon after as possible. The early dawn on the water-nothing can +be finer, as I know by old Mississippi experience. I did so long for you +and Sue yesterday morning--the most superb sunrise!--the most marvelous +sunrise! and I saw it all from the very faintest suspicion of the coming +dawn all the way through to the final explosion of glory. But it had +interest private to itself and not to be found elsewhere in the world; +for between me and it, in the far distant-eastward, was a silhouette +mountain-range in which I had discovered, the previous afternoon, a most +noble face upturned to the sky, and mighty form out stretched, which I +had named Napoleon Dreaming of Universal Empire--and now, this prodigious +face, soft, rich, blue, spirituelle, asleep, tranquil, reposeful, lay +against that giant conflagration of ruddy and golden splendors all rayed +like a wheel with the upstreaming and far-reaching lances of the sun. It +made one want to cry for delight, it was so supreme in its unimaginable +majesty and beauty. + +We had a curious experience today. A little after I had sealed and +directed my letter to you, in which I said we should make Avignon before +4, we got lost. We ceased to encounter any village or ruin mentioned in +our "particularizes" and detailed Guide of the Rhone--went drifting along +by the hour in a wholly unknown land and on an uncharted river! Confound +it, we stopped talking and did nothing but stand up in the boat and +search the horizons with the glass and wonder what in the devil had +happened. And at last, away yonder at 5 o'clock when some east towers +and fortresses hove in sight we couldn't recognize them for Avignon--yet +we knew by the broken bridge that it was Avignon. + +Then we saw what the trouble was--at some time or other we had drifted +down the wrong side of an island and followed a sluggish branch of the +Rhone not frequented in modern times. We lost an hour and a half by it +and missed one of the most picturesque and gigantic and history-sodden +masses of castellated medieval ruin that Europe can show. + +It was dark by the time we had wandered through the town and got the +letters and found the hotel--so I went to bed. + +We shall leave here at noon tomorrow and float down to Arles, arriving +about dark, and there bid good bye to the boat, the river-trip finished. +Between Arles and Nimes (and Avignon again,) we shall be till Saturday +morning--then rail it through on that day to Ouchy, reaching the hotel at +11 at night if the train isn't late. + +Next day (Sunday) if you like, go to Basel, and Monday to Berlin. But I +shall be at your disposal, to do exactly as you desire and prefer. + + With no end of love to all of you and twice as much to you, + sweetheart, + SAML. + +I believe my arm is a trifle better than it was when I started. + + + The mention in the foregoing letter of the Napoleon effigy is the + beginning of what proved to be a rather interesting episode. Mark + Twain thought a great deal of his discovery, as he called it--the + giant figure of Napoleon outlined by the distant mountain range. + In his note-book he entered memoranda telling just where it was to + be seen, and added a pencil sketch of the huge profile. But then he + characteristically forgot all about it, and when he recalled the + incident ten years later, he could not remember the name of the + village, Beauchastel, from which the great figure could be seen; + also, that he had made a record of the place. + + But he was by this time more certain than ever that his discovery + was a remarkable one, which, if known, would become one of the great + natural wonders, such as Niagara Falls. Theodore Stanton was + visiting him at the time, and Clemens urged him, on his return to + France, to make an excursion to the Rhone and locate the Lost + Napoleon, as he now called it. But Clemens remembered the wonder as + being somewhere between Arles and Avignon, instead of about a + hundred miles above the last-named town. Stanton naturally failed + to find it, and it remained for the writer of these notes, motoring + up the Rhone one September day, exactly twenty-two years after the + first discovery, to re-locate the vast reclining figure of the first + consul of France, "dreaming of Universal Empire." The re-discovery + was not difficult--with Mark Twain's memoranda as a guide--and it + was worth while. Perhaps the Lost Napoleon is not so important a + natural wonder as Mark Twain believed, but it is a striking picture, + and on a clear day the calm blue face outlined against the sky will + long hold the traveler's attention. + + To Clara Clemens, in Ouchy, Switzerland: + + AFLOAT, 11.20 a.m., Sept. 29, Tuesday. +DEAR OLD BEN,--The vast stone masses and huge towers of the ancient papal +palace of Avignon are projected above an intervening wooded island a mile +up the river behind me--for we are already on our way to Arles. It is a +perfectly still morning, with a brilliant sun, and very hot--outside; but +I am under cover of the linen hood, and it is cool and shady in here. + +Please tell mamma I got her very last letter this morning, and I perceive +by it that I do not need to arrive at Ouchy before Saturday midnight. +I am glad, because I couldn't do the railroading I am proposing to do +during the next two or three days and get there earlier. I could put in +the time till Sunday midnight, but shall not venture it without +telegraphic instructions from her to Nimes day after tomorrow, Oct. 1, +care Hotel Manivet. + +The only adventures we have is in drifting into rough seas now and then. +They are not dangerous, but they go thro' all the motions of it. +Yesterday when we shot the Bridge of the Holy Spirit it was probably in +charge of some inexperienced deputy spirit for the day, for we were +allowed to go through the wrong arch, which brought us into a tourbillon +below which tried to make this old scow stand on its head. Of course I +lost my temper and blew it off in a way to be heard above the roar of the +tossing waters. I lost it because the admiral had taken that arch in +deference to my opinion that it was the best one, while his own judgment +told him to take the one nearest the other side of the river. I could +have poisoned him I was so mad to think I had hired such a turnip. +A boatman in command should obey nobody's orders but his own, and yield +to nobody's suggestions. + +It was very sweet of you to write me, dear, and I thank you ever so much. +With greatest love and kisses, + PAPA. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Ouchy, Switzerland: + + ARLES, Sept. 30, noon. +Livy darling, I hain't got no time to write today, because I am sight +seeing industriously and imagining my chapter. + +Bade good-bye to the river trip and gave away the boat yesterday evening. +We had ten great days in her. + +We reached here after dark. We were due about 4.30, counting by +distance, but we couldn't calculate on such a lifeless current as we +found. + I love you, sweetheart. + SAML. + + + It had been a long time since Clemens had written to his old friend + Twichell, but the Rhone trip must have reminded him of those days + thirteen years earlier, when, comparatively young men, he and + Twichell were tramping through the Black Forest and scaling Gemmi + Pass. He sent Twichell a reminder of that happy time. + + + To Rev. Joseph H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn: + + NIMES, Oct. 1, '91. +DEAR JOE,--I have been ten days floating down the Rhone on a raft, from +Lake Bourget, and a most curious and darling kind of a trip it has been. +You ought to have been along--I could have made room for you easily--and +you would have found that a pedestrian tour in Europe doesn't begin with +a raft-voyage for hilarity and mild adventure, and intimate contact with +the unvisited native of the back settlements, and extinction from the +world and newspapers, and a conscience in a state of coma, and lazy +comfort, and solid happiness. In fact there's nothing that's so lovely. + +But it's all over. I gave the raft away yesterday at Arles, and am +loafing along back by short stages on the rail to Ouchy-Lausanne where +the tribe are staying. + Love to you all + MARK. + + + The Clemenses settled in Berlin for the winter, at 7 Kornerstrasse, + and later at the Hotel Royal. There had been no permanent + improvement in Mark Twain's arm and he found writing difficult. + Some of the letters promised to Laffan and McClure were still + unfinished. + + Young Hall, his publishing manager in America, was working hard to + keep the business afloat, and being full of the optimism of his + years did not fail to make as good a showing as he could. We may + believe his letters were very welcome to Clemens and his wife, who + found little enough in the general prospect to comfort them. + + + To Mr. Hall, in New York: + + BERLIN, Nov. 27, '91. +DEAR MR. HALL,--That kind of a statement is valuable. It came this +morning. This is the first time since the business began that I have had +a report that furnished the kind of information I wanted, and was really +enlightening and satisfactory. Keep it up. Don't let it fall into +desuetude. + +Everything looks so fine and handsome with the business, now, that I feel +a great let-up from depression. The rewards of your long and patient +industry are on their way, and their arrival safe in port, presently, +seems assured. + +By George, I shall be glad when the ship comes in! + +My arm is so much better that I was able to make a speech last night to +250 Americans. But when they threw my portrait on the screen it was a +sorrowful reminder, for it was from a negative of 15 years ago, and +hadn't a gray hair in it. And now that my arm is better, I have stolen a +couple of days and finished up a couple of McClure letters that have been +lying a long time. + +I shall mail one of them to you next Tuesday--registered. Lookout for +it. + +I shall register and mail the other one (concerning the "Jungfrau") next +Friday look out for it also, and drop me a line to let me know they have +arrived. + +I shall write the 6th and last letter by and by when I have studied +Berlin sufficiently. + +Yours in a most cheerful frame of mind, and with my and all the family's +Thanksgiving greetings and best wishes, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Postscript by Mrs. Clemens written on Mr. Clemens's letter: + +DEAR MR. HALL,--This is my birthday and your letter this morning was a +happy addition to the little gifts on the breakfast table. I thought of +going out and spending money for something unnecessary after it came, but +concluded perhaps I better wait a little longer. + Sincerely yours + O. L. CLEMENS. + + + "The German Chicago" was the last of the six McClure letters and was + finished that winter in Berlin. It is now included in the Uniform + Edition of Mark Twain's works, and is one of the best descriptive + articles of the German capital ever written. He made no use of the + Rhone notes further than to put them together in literary form. + They did not seem to him to contain enough substance to warrant + publication. A letter to Hall, written toward the end of December, + we find rather gloomy in tone, though he is still able to extract + comfort and even cheerfulness from one of Mr. Hall's reports. + + + Memorandum to Fred J. Hall, in New York: + +Among the MSS I left with you are a few that have a recent look and are +written on rather stiff pale green paper. If you will have those type- +writered and keep the originals and send me the copies (one per mail, not +two.) I'll see if I can use them. + +But tell Howells and other inquirers that my hopes of writing anything +are very slender--I seem to be disabled for life. + +Drop McClure a line and tell him the same. I can't dare to make an +engagement now for even a single letter. + +I am glad Howells is on a magazine, but sorry he gave up the Study. +I shall have to go on a magazine myself if this L. A. L. continues to +hold my nose down to the grind-stone much longer. + +I'm going to hold my breath, now, for 30 days--then the annual statement +will arrive and I shall know how we feel! Merry Xmas to you from us all. + + Sincerely, + S. L. C. + +P. S. Just finished the above and finished raging at the eternal German +tax-gatherer, and so all the jubilant things which I was going to say +about the past year's business got knocked out of me. After writing this +present letter I was feeling blue about Huck Finn, but I sat down and +overhauled your reports from now back to last April and compared them +with the splendid Oct.-Nov. business, and went to bed feeling refreshed +and fine, for certainly it has been a handsome year. Now rush me along +the Annual Report and let's see how we feel! + S. L. C. + + + + +XXXII + +LETTERS, 1892, CHIEFLY TO MR. HALL AND MRS. CRANE. IN BERLIN, MENTONE, +BAD-NAUHEIM, FLORENCE + +Mark Twain was the notable literary figure in Berlin that winter, the +center of every great gathering. He was entertained by the Kaiser, and +shown many special attentions by Germans of every rank. His books were +as well known in Berlin as in New York, and at court assemblies and +embassies he was always a chief center of interest. + +He was too popular for his own good; the gaiety of the capital told on +him. Finally, one night, after delivering a lecture in a hot room, he +contracted a severe cold, driving to a ball at General von Versen's, and +a few days later was confined to his bed with pneumonia. It was not a +severe attack, but it was long continued. He could write some letters +and even work a little, but he was not allowed to leave his bed for many +weeks, a condition which he did not find a hardship, for no man ever +enjoyed the loose luxury of undress and the comfort of pillows more than +Mark Twain. In a memorandum of that time he wrote: "I am having a +booming time all to myself." + +Meantime, Hall, in America, was sending favorable reports of the +publishing business, and this naturally helped to keep up his spirits. +He wrote frequently to Hall, of course, but the letters for the most part +are purely of a business nature and of little interest to the general +reader. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + HOTEL ROYAL, BERLIN, Feb. 12. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Daly wants to get the stage rights of the "American +Claimant." The foundation from which I wrote the story is a play of the +same name which has been in A. P. Burbank's hands 5 or 6 years. That +play cost me some money (helping Burbank stage it) but has never brought +me any. I have written Burbank (Lotos Club) and asked him to give me +back his rights in the old play so that I can treat with Daly and utilize +this chance to even myself up. Burbank is a lovely fellow, and if he +objects I can't urge him. But you run in at the Lotos and see him; and +if he relinquishes his claim, then I would like you to conduct the +business with Daly; or have Whitford or some other lawyer do it under +your supervision if you prefer. + +This morning I seem to have rheumatism in my right foot. + +I am ordered south by the doctor and shall expect to be well enough to +start by the end of this month. + + [No signature.] + + + + It is curious, after Clemens and Howells had tried so hard and so + long to place their "Sellers" Play, that now, when the story + appeared in book form, Augustin Daly should have thought it worth + dramatizing. Daly and Clemens were old friends, and it would seem + that Daly could hardly have escaped seeing the play when it was + going the rounds. But perhaps there is nothing more mysterious in + the world than the ways and wants of theatrical managers. The + matter came to nothing, of course, but the fact that Daly should + have thought a story built from an old discarded play had a play in + it seems interesting. + + Clemens and his wife were advised to leave the cold of Berlin as + soon as he was able to travel. This was not until the first of + March, when, taking their old courier, Joseph Very, they left the + children in good hands and journeyed to the south of France. + + + To Susy Clemens, in Berlin: + + MENTONE, Mch 22, '92. +SUSY DEAR,--I have been delighted to note your easy facility with your +pen and proud to note also your literary superiorities of one kind and +another--clearness of statement, directness, felicity of expression, +photographic ability in setting forth an incident--style--good style--no +barnacles on it in the way of unnecessary, retarding words (the Shipman +scrapes off the barnacles when he wants his racer to go her best gait and +straight to the buoy.) You should write a letter every day, long or short +--and so ought I, but I don't. + +Mamma says, tell Clara yes, she will have to write a note if the fan +comes back mended. + +We couldn't go to Nice to-day--had to give it up, on various accounts-- +and this was the last chance. I am sorry for Mamma--I wish she could +have gone. She got a heavy fall yesterday evening and was pretty stiff +and lame this morning, but is working it off trunk packing. + +Joseph is gone to Nice to educate himself in Kodaking--and to get the +pictures mounted which Mamma thinks she took here; but I noticed she +didn't take the plug out, as a rule. When she did, she took nine +pictures on top of each other--composites. + With lots of love. + PAPA. + + + In the course of their Italian wanderings they reached Florence, + where they were so comfortable and well that they decided to engage + a villa for the next winter. Through Prof. Willard Fiske, they + discovered the Villa Viviani, near Settignano, an old palace + beautifully located on the hilltops east of Florence, commanding a + wonderful view of the ancient city. Clemens felt that he could work + there, and time proved that he was right. + + For the summer, however, they returned to Germany, and located at + Bad-Nauheim. Clemens presently decided to make a trip to America to + give some personal attention to business matters. For one thing, + his publishing-house, in spite of prosperity, seemed constantly to + be requiring more capital, and then a Chicago company had been + persuaded by Paige to undertake the manufacture of the type-setter. + It was the beginning of a series of feverish trips which he would + make back and forth across the ocean during the next two years. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + BAD-NAUHEIM, June 11, '92. + Saturday. +DEAR MR. HALL,--If this arrives before I do, let it inform you that I am +leaving Bremen for New York next Tuesday in the "Havel." + +If you can meet me when the ship arrives, you can help me to get away +from the reporters; and maybe you can take me to your own or some other +lodgings where they can't find me. + +But if the hour is too early or too late for you, I shall obscure myself +somewhere till I can come to the office. + +Yours sincerely + S. L. C. + + + Nothing of importance happened in America. The new Paige company + had a factory started in Chicago and expected to manufacture fifty + machines as a beginning. They claimed to have capital, or to be + able to command it, and as the main control had passed from + Clemens's hands, he could do no more than look over the ground and + hope for the best. As for the business, about all that he could do + was to sign certain notes necessary to provide such additional + capital as was needed, and agree with Hall that hereafter they would + concentrate their efforts and resist further temptation in the way + of new enterprise. Then he returned to Bad-Nauheim and settled down + to literature. This was the middle of July, and he must have worked + pretty steadily, for he presently had a variety of MSS. ready to + offer. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Aug. 10, '92. +DEAR MR. HALT,--I have dropped that novel I wrote you about, because I +saw a more effective way of using the main episode--to wit: by telling it +through the lips of Huck Finn. So I have started Huck Finn and Tom +Sawyer (still 15 years old) and their friend the freed slave Jim around +the world in a stray balloon, with Huck as narrator, and somewhere after +the end of that great voyage he will work in the said episode and then +nobody will suspect that a whole book has been written and the globe +circumnavigated merely to get that episode in an effective (and at the +same time apparently unintentional) way. I have written 12,000 words of +this narrative, and find that the humor flows as easily as the adventures +and surprises--so I shall go along and make a book of from 50,000 to +100,000 words. + +It is a story for boys, of course, and I think will interest any boy +between 8 years and 80. + +When I was in New York the other day Mrs. Dodge, editor of St. Nicholas, +wrote and, offered me $5,000 for (serial right) a story for boys 50,000 +words long. I wrote back and declined, for I had other matter in my +mind, then. + +I conceive that the right way to write a story for boys is to write so +that it will not only interest boys but will also strongly interest any +man who has ever been a boy. That immensely enlarges the audience. + +Now this story doesn't need to be restricted to a Childs magazine--it is +proper enough for any magazine, I should think, or for a syndicate. I +don't swear it, but I think so. + +Proposed title of the story, "New Adventures of Huckleberry Finn." + + [No signature.] + + + The "novel" mentioned in the foregoing was The Extraordinary Twins, + a story from which Pudd'nhead Wilson would be evolved later. It was + a wildly extravagant farce--just the sort of thing that now and then + Mark Twain plunged into with an enthusiasm that had to work itself + out and die a natural death, or mellow into something worth while. + Tom Sawyer Abroad, as the new Huck story was finally called, was + completed and disposed of to St. Nicholas for serial publication. + + The Twichells were in Europe that summer, and came to Bad-Nauheim. + The next letter records a pleasant incident. The Prince of Wales of + that day later became King Edward VII. + + + To Mr. and Mrs. Orion Clemens, in Keokuk, Iowa.: + + Private. BAD-NAUHEIM, Aug. 23, '92. +DEAR ORION AND MOLLIE,--("Private" because no newspaper-man or other +gossip must get hold of it) + +Livy is getting along pretty well, and the doctor thinks another summer +here will cure her. + +The Twichell's have been here four days and we have had good times with +them. Joe and I ran over to Homburg, the great pleasure resort, +Saturday, to dine with some friends, and in the morning I went walking in +the promenade and met the British Ambassador to the Court of Berlin, and +he introduced me to the Prince of Wales, and I found him a most unusually +comfortable and unembarrassing Englishman to talk with--quick to see the +obscurest point, and equipped with a laugh which is spontaneous and +catching. Am invited by a near friend of his to meet him at dinner day +after tomorrow, and there could be a good time, but the brass band will +smash the talk and spoil everything. + +We are expecting to move to Florence ten or twelve days hence, but if +this hot weather continues we shall wait for cooler. I take Clara to +Berlin for the winter-music, mainly, with German and French added. Thus +far, Jean is our only glib French scholar. + +We all send love to you all and to Pamela and Sam's family, and Annie. + + SAM + + + Clemens and family left Bad-Nauheim for Italy by way of Switzerland. + In September Mrs. Clemens's sister, Mrs. Crane, who had been with + them in Europe during the first year, had now returned to America. + Mrs. Clemens had improved at the baths, though she had by no means + recovered her health. We get a general report of conditions from + the letter which Clemens wrote Mrs. Crane from Lucerne, Switzerland, + where the party rested for several days. The "Phelps" mentioned in + this letter was William Walter Phelps, United States Minister to + Germany. The Phelps and Clemens families had been much associated + in Berlin. "Mason" was Frank Mason, Consul General at Frankfort, + and in later years at Paris. "Charlie and Ida" were Charles and + Mrs. Langdon, of Elmira. + + + To Mrs. Crane, in Elmira, N. Y.: + + LUCERNE, Sept. 18, '92. +DEAR AUNT SUE,--Imagine how I felt to find that you had actually gone off +without filling my traveling ink stand which you gave me! I found it out +yesterday. Livy advised me to write you about it. + +I have been driving this pen hard. I wrote 280 pages on a yarn called +"Tom Sawyer Abroad," then took up the "Twins" again, destroyed the last +half of the manuscript and re-wrote it in another form, and am going to +continue it and finish it in Florence. "Tom Sawyer" seems rather pale to +the family after the extravagances of the Twins, but they came to like it +after they got used to it + +We remained in Nauheim a little too long. If we had left there four or +five days earlier we should have made Florence in 3 days; but by the time +we got started Livy had got smitten with what we feared might be +erysipelas--greatly swollen neck and face, and unceasing headaches. We +lay idle in Frankfort 4 days, doctoring. We started Thursday and made +Bale. Hard trip, because it was one of those trains that gets tired +every seven minutes and stops to rest three quarters of an hour. It took +us 3 1/2 hours to get here, instead of the regulation 2.20. We reached +here Friday evening and will leave tomorrow (Tuesday) morning. The rest +has made the headaches better. We shall pull through to Milan tomorrow +if possible. Next day we shall start at 10 a. m., and try to make +Bologna, 5 hours. Next day (Thursday) Florence, D. V. Next year we will +walk, for these excursions have got to be made over again. I've got +seven trunks, and I undertook to be courier because I meant to express +them to Florence direct, but we were a couple of days too late. All +continental roads had issued a peremptory order that no baggage should +travel a mile except in the company of the owner. (All over Europe +people are howling; they are separated from their baggage and can't get +it forwarded to them) I have to re-ship my trunks every day. It is very +amusing--uncommonly so. There seemed grave doubts about our being able +to get these trunks over the Italian frontier, but I've got a very +handsome note from the Frankfort Italian Consul General addressed to all +Italian Customs Officers, and we shall get through if anybody does. + +The Phelpses came to Frankfort and we had some great times--dinner at his +hotel, the Masons, supper at our inn--Livy not in it. She was merely +allowed a glimpse, no more. Of course, Phelps said she was merely +pretending to be ill; was never looking so well and fine. + +The children are all right. They paddle around a little, and drive-so do +we all. Lucerne seems to be pretty full of tourists. The Fleulen boat +went out crowded yesterday morning. + +The Paris Herald has created a public interest by inoculating one of its +correspondents with cholera. A man said yesterday he wished to God they +would inoculate all of them. Yes, the interest is quite general and +strong, and much hope is felt. + +Livy says, I have said enough bad things, and better send all our loves +to you and Charley and Ida and all the children and shut up. Which I do +--and shut up. + S. L. C. + + + They reached Florence on the 26th, and four days later we find + Clemens writing again to Mrs. Crane, detailing everything at length. + Little comment on this letter is required; it fully explains itself. + Perhaps a word of description from one of his memoranda will not be + out of place. Of the villa he wrote: "It is a plain, square + building, like a box, and is painted light green and has green + window-shutters. It stands in a commanding position on the + artificial terrace of liberal dimensions, which is walled around + with masonry. From the walls the vineyards and olive groves of the + estate slant away toward the valley.... Roses overflow the + retaining walls and the battered and mossy stone urn on the gate- + post, in pink and yellow cataracts, exactly as they do on the drop- + curtains in the theaters. The house is a very fortress for + strength." + + The Mrs. Ross in this letter was Janet Ross, daughter of Lady Duff + Gordon, remembered to-day for her Egyptian letters. The Ross castle + was but a little distance away. + + + To Mrs. Crane, in Elmira: + + VILLA VIVIANI, SETTIGNANO, FLORENCE. + Sept. 30, 1892 +DEAR SUE,--We have been in the house several days, and certainly it is a +beautiful place,--particularly at this moment, when the skies are a deep +leaden color, the domes of Florence dim in the drizzling rain, and +occasional perpendicular coils of lightning quivering intensely in the +black sky about Galileo's Tower. It is a charming panorama, and the most +conspicuous towers and domes down in the city look to-day just as they +looked when Boccaccio and Dante used to contemplate them from this +hillock five and six hundred years ago. + +The Mademoiselle is a great help to Livy in the housekeeping, and is a +cheery and cheerful presence in the house. The butler is equipped with a +little French, and it is this fact that enables the house to go--but it +won't go well until the family get some sort of facility with the Italian +tongue, for the cook, the woman-of-all-work and the coachman understand +only that. It is a stubborn and devilish language to learn, but Jean and +the others will master it. Livy's German Nauheim girl is the worst off +of anybody, as there is no market for her tongue at all among the help. + +With the furniture in and the curtains up the house is very pretty, and +not unhomelike. At mid-night last night we heard screams up stairs--Susy +had set the lofty window curtains afire with a candle. This sounds kind +of frightful, whereas when you come to think of it, a burning curtain or +pile of furniture hasn't any element of danger about it in this fortress. +There isn't any conceivable way to burn this house down, or enable a +conflagration on one floor to climb to the next. + +Mrs. Ross laid in our wood, wine and servants for us, and they are +excellent. She had the house scoured from Cellar to rook the curtains +washed and put up, all beds pulled to pieces, beaten, washed and put +together again, and beguiled the Marchese into putting a big porcelain +stove in the vast central hall. She is a wonderful woman, and we don't +quite see how or when we should have gotten under way without her. + +Observe our address above--the post delivers letters daily at the house. + +Even with the work and fuss of settling the house Livy has improved--and +the best is yet to come. There is going to be absolute seclusion here-- +a hermit life, in fact. We (the rest of us) shall run over to the Ross's +frequently, and they will come here now and then and see Livy--that is +all. Mr. Fiske is away--nobody knows where--and the work on his house +has been stopped and his servants discharged. Therefore we shall merely +go Rossing--as far as society is concerned--shan't circulate in Florence +until Livy shall be well enough to take a share in it. + +This present house is modern. It is not much more than two centuries +old; but parts of it, and also its foundations are of high antiquity. +The fine beautiful family portraits--the great carved ones in the large +ovals over the doors of the big hall--carry one well back into the past. +One of them is dated 1305--he could have known Dante, you see. Another +is dated 1343--he could have known Boccaccio and spent his afternoons in +Fiesole listening to the Decameron tales. Another is dated 1463-- +he could have met Columbus..... + +Evening. The storm thundered away until night, and the rain came down in +floods. For awhile there was a partial break, which furnished about such +a sunset as will be exhibited when the Last Day comes and the universe +tumbles together in wreck and ruin. I have never seen anything more +spectacular and impressive. + +One person is satisfied with the villa, anyway. Jean prefers it to all +Europe, save Venice. Jean is eager to get at the Italian tongue again, +now, and I see that she has forgotten little or nothing of what she +learned of it in Rome and Venice last spring. + +I am the head French duffer of the family. Most of the talk goes over my +head at the table. I catch only words, not phrases. When Italian comes +to be substituted I shall be even worse off than I am now, I suppose. + +This reminds me that this evening the German girl said to Livy, "Man hat +mir gesagt loss Sie una candella verlaught habe"--unconsciously dropping +in a couple of Italian words, you see. So she is going to join the +polyglots, too, it appears. They say it is good entertainment to hear +her and the butler talk together in their respective tongues, piecing out +and patching up with the universal sign-language as they go along. Five +languages in use in the house (including the sign-language-hardest-worked +of them all) and yet with all this opulence of resource we do seem to +have an uncommonly tough time making ourselves understood. + +What we lack is a cat. If we only had Germania! That was the most +satisfactory all-round cat I have seen yet. Totally ungermanic in the +raciness of his character and in the sparkle of his mind and the +spontaneity of his movements. We shall not look upon his like again.... + + S. L. C. + + + Clemens got well settled down to work presently. He found the + situation, the climate, the background, entirely suited to literary + production, and in a little while he had accomplished more than at + any other time since his arrival in Europe. From letters to Mrs. + Crane and to Mr. Hall we learn something of his employments and his + satisfaction. + + + To Mrs. Crane, in Elmira: + + VILLA VIVIANI + SETTIGNANO, FLORENCE. Oct. 22, '92. +DEAR SUE,--We are getting wonted. The open fires have driven away the +cold and the doubt, and now a cheery spirit pervades the place. Livy and +the Kings and Mademoiselle having been taking their tea a number of +times, lately, on the open terrace with the city and the hills and the +sunset for company. I stop work, a few minutes, as a rule, when the sun +gets down to the hilltops west of Florence, and join the tea-group to +wonder and exclaim. There is always some new miracle in the view, a new +and exquisite variation in the show, a variation which occurs every 15 +minutes between dawn and night. Once early in the morning, a multitude +of white villas not before perceived, revealed themselves on the far +hills; then we recognized that all those great hills are snowed thick +with them, clear to the summit. + +The variety of lovely effects, the infinitude of change, is something not +to be believed by any who has not seen it. No view that I am acquainted +with in the world is at all comparable to this for delicacy, charm, +exquisiteness, dainty coloring, and bewildering rapidity of change. It +keeps a person drunk with pleasure all the time. Sometimes Florence +ceases to be substantial, and becomes just a faint soft dream, with domes +and towers of air, and one is persuaded that he might blow it away with a +puff of his breath. + +Livy is progressing admirably. This is just the place for her. + + [Remainder missing.] + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Dec. 12, '92. +DEAR MR. HALL,--November check received. + +I have lent the Californian's Story to Arthur Stedman for his Author Club +Book, so your suggestion that my new spring-book bear that name arrives +too late, as he probably would not want us to use that story in a book of +ours until the Author book had had its run. That is for him to decide-- +and I don't want him hampered at all in his decision. I, for my part, +prefer the "$1,000,000 Banknote and Other Stories" by Mark Twain as a +title, but above my judgment I prefer yours. I mean this--it is not +taffy. + +I told Arthur to leave out the former squib or paragraph and use only the +Californian's Story. Tell him this is because I am going to use that in +the book I am now writing. + +I finished "Those Extraordinary Twins" night before last makes 60 or +80,000 words--haven't counted. + +The last third of it suits me to a dot. I begin, to-day, to entirely +recast and re-write the first two-thirds--new plan, with two minor +characters, made very prominent, one major character cropped out, and the +Twins subordinated to a minor but not insignificant place. + +The minor character will now become the chiefest, and I will name the +story after him--"Puddn'head Wilson." + +Merry Xmas to you, and great prosperity and felicity! + + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XXXIII + +LETTERS, 1893, TO MR. HALL, MRS. CLEMENS, AND OTHERS. FLORENCE. +BUSINESS TROUBLES. "PUDD'NHEAD WILSON." "JOAN OF ARC." +AT THE PLAYERS, NEW YORK + +The reader may have suspected that young Mr. Hall in New York was having +his troubles. He was by this time one-third owner in the business of +Charles L. Webster & Co., as well as its general manager. The business +had been drained of its capital one way and another-partly by the +publication of unprofitable books; partly by the earlier demands of the +typesetter, but more than all by the manufacturing cost and agents' +commissions demanded by L. A. L.; that is to say, the eleven large +volumes constituting the Library of American Literature, which Webster +had undertaken to place in a million American homes. There was plenty of +sale for it--indeed, that was just the trouble; for it was sold on +payments--small monthly payments--while the cost of manufacture and the +liberal agents' commissions were cash items, and it would require a +considerable period before the dribble of collections would swell into a +tide large enough to satisfy the steady outflow of expense. A sale of +twenty-five sets a day meant prosperity on paper, but unless capital +could be raised from some other source to make and market those books +through a period of months, perhaps even years, to come, it meant +bankruptcy in reality. It was Hall's job, with Clemens to back him, to +keep their ship afloat on these steadily ebbing financial waters. It was +also Hall's affair to keep Mark Twain cheerful, to look pleasant himself, +and to show how they were steadily getting rich because orders were +pouring in, though a cloud that resembled bankruptcy loomed always a +little higher upon the horizon. If Hall had not been young and an +optimist, he would have been frightened out of his boots early in the +game. As it was, he made a brave steady fight, kept as cheerful and +stiff an upper lip as possible, always hoping that something would +happen--some grand sale of his other books, some unexpected inflow from +the type-setter interests--anything that would sustain his ship until the +L. A. L. tide should turn and float it into safety. + +Clemens had faith in Hall and was fond of him. He never found fault with +him; he tried to accept his encouraging reports at their face value. He +lent the firm every dollar of his literary earnings not absolutely needed +for the family's support; he signed new notes; he allowed Mrs. Clemens to +put in such remnants of her patrimony as the type-setter had spared. + +The situation in 1893 was about as here outlined. The letters to Hall of +that year are frequent and carry along the story. To any who had formed +the idea that Mark Twain was irascible, exacting, and faultfinding, they +will perhaps be a revelation. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + FLORENCE, Jan. 1, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Yours of Dec. 19 is to hand, and Mrs. Clemens is deeply +distressed, for she thinks I have been blaming you or finding fault with +you about something. But most surely that cannot be. I tell her that +although I am prone to write hasty and regrettable things to other +people, I am not a bit likely to write such things to you. I can't +believe I have done anything so ungrateful. If I have, pile coals of +fire on my head, for I deserve it! + +I wonder if my letter of credit isn't an encumbrance? Do you have to +deposit the whole amount it calls for? If that is so, it is an +encumbrance, and we must withdraw it and take the money out of soak. +I have never made drafts upon it except when compelled, because I thought +you deposited nothing against it, and only had to put up money that I +drew upon it; that therefore the less I drew the easier it would be for +you. + +I am dreadfully sorry I didn't know it would be a help to you to let my +monthly check pass over a couple of months. I could have stood that by +drawing what is left of Mrs. Clemens's letter of credit, and we would +have done it cheerfully. + +I will write Whitmore to send you the "Century" check for $1,000, and you +can collect Mrs. Dodge's $2,000 (Whitmore has power of attorney which I +think will enable him to endorse it over to you in my name.) If you need +that $3,000 put it in the business and use it, and send Whitmore the +Company's note for a year. If you don't need it, turn it over to Mr. +Halsey and let him invest it for me. + +I've a mighty poor financial head, and I may be all wrong--but tell me if +I am wrong in supposing that in lending my own firm money at 6 per cent I +pay 4 of it myself and so really get only a per cent? Now don't laugh if +that is stupid. + +Of course my friend declined to buy a quarter interest in the L. A. L. +for $200,000. I judged he would. I hoped he would offer $100,000, but +he didn't. If the cholera breaks out in America, a few months hence, we +can't borrow or sell; but if it doesn't we must try hard to raise +$100,000. I wish we could do it before there is a cholera scare. + +I have been in bed two or three days with a cold, but I got up an hour +ago, and I believe I am all right again. + +How I wish I had appreciated the need of $100,000 when I was in New York +last summer! I would have tried my best to raise it. It would make us +able to stand 1,000 sets of L. A. L. per month, but not any more, I +guess. + +You have done magnificently with the business, and we must raise the +money somehow, to enable you to reap the reward of all that labor. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +"Whitmore," in this letter, was F. G. Whitmore, of Hartford, Mark Twain's +financial agent. The money due from Mrs. Dodge was a balance on Tom +Sawyer Abroad, which had been accepted by St. Nicholas. Mr. Halsey was a +down-town broker. + +Clemens, who was growing weary of the constant demands of L. A. L., had +conceived the idea that it would be well to dispose of a portion of it +for enough cash to finance its manufacture. + +We don't know who the friend was to whom he offered a quarter interest +for the modest sum of two hundred thousand dollars. But in the next +letter we discover designs on a certain very canny Scotchman of Skibo. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + FLORENCE, Jan. 28, '92. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I want to throw out a suggestion and see what you think +of it. We have a good start, and solid ground under us; we have a +valuable reputation; our business organization is practical, sound and +well-devised; our publications are of a respect-worthy character and of a +money-breeding species. Now then I think that the association with us of +some one of great name and with capital would give our business a +prodigious impetus--that phrase is not too strong. + +As I look at it, it is not money merely that is needed; if that were all, +the firm has friends enough who would take an interest in a paying +venture; we need some one who has made his life a success not only from a +business standpoint, but with that achievement back of him, has been +great enough to make his power felt as a thinker and a literary man. It +is a pretty usual thing for publishers to have this sort of partners. +Now you see what a power Carnegie is, and how far his voice reaches in +the several lines I speak of. Do you know him? You do by correspondence +or purely business talks about his books--but personally, I mean? so that +it would not be an intrusion for you to speak to him about this desire of +mine--for I would like you to put it before him, and if you fail to +interest him in it, you will probably get at least some valuable +suggestions from him. I'll enclose a note of introduction--you needn't +use it if you don't need to. + Yours S. L. C. + +P. S. Yes, I think I have already acknowledged the Dec. $1,000 and the +Jan. $500--and if another $500 was mailed 3 days ago there's no hiatus. + +I think I also reminded you that the new letter of credit does not cover +the unexpended balance of the old one but falls considerably short of it. + +Do your best with Carnegie, and don't wait to consider any of my +intermediate suggestions or talks about our raising half of the $200,000 +ourselves. I mean, wait for nothing. To make my suggestion available I +should have to go over and see Arnot, and I don't want to until I can +mention Carnegie's name to him as going in with us. + +My book is type-written and ready for print--"Pudd'nhead Wilson-a Tale." +(Or, "Those Extraordinary Twins," if preferable.) + +It makes 82,500 words--12,000 more than Huck Finn. But I don't know what +to do with it. Mrs. Clemens thinks it wouldn't do to go to the Am. Pub. +Co. or anywhere outside of our own house; we have no subscription +machinery, and a book in the trade is a book thrown away, as far as +money-profit goes. I am in a quandary. Give me a lift out of it. + +I will mail the book to you and get you to examine it and see if it is +good or if it is bad. I think it is good, and I thought the Claimant +bad, when I saw it in print; but as for real judgment, I think I am +destitute of it. + +I am writing a companion to the Prince and Pauper, which is half done and +will make 200,000 words; and I have had the idea that if it were gotten +up in handsome style, with many illustrations and put at a high enough +price maybe the L. A. L. canvassers would take it and run it with that +book. Would they? It could be priced anywhere from $4 up to $10, +according to how it was gotten up, I suppose. + +I don't want it to go into a magazine. + S. L. C. + +I am having several short things type-"writered." I will send them to +you presently. I like the Century and Harper's, but I don't know that I +have any business to object to the Cosmopolitan if they pay as good +rates. I suppose a man ought to stick to one magazine, but that may be +only superstition. What do you think? + S. L. C. + + + "The companion to The Prince and the Pauper," mentioned in this + letter, was the story of Joan of Arc, perhaps the most finished of + Mark Twain's literary productions. His interest in Joan had been + first awakened when, as a printer's apprentice in Hannibal, he had + found blowing along the street a stray leaf from some printed story + of her life. That fragment of history had pictured Joan in prison, + insulted and mistreated by ruffians. It had aroused all the + sympathy and indignation in the boy, Sam Clemens; also, it had + awakened his interest in history, and, indeed, in all literature. + + His love for the character of Joan had grown with the years, until + in time he had conceived the idea of writing her story. As far back + as the early eighties he had collected material for it, and had + begun to make the notes. One thing and another had interfered, and + he had found no opportunity for such a story. Now, however, in + Florence, in the ancient villa, and in the quiet garden, looking + across the vineyards and olive groves to the dream city along the + Arno, he felt moved to take up the tale of the shepherd girl of + France, the soldier maid, or, as he called her, "The noble child, + the most innocent, the most lovely, the most adorable the ages have + produced." His surroundings and background would seem to have been + perfect, and he must have written with considerable ease to have + completed a hundred thousand words in a period of not more than six + weeks. + + Perhaps Hall did not even go to see Carnegie; at all events nothing + seems to have come of the idea. Once, at a later time, Mask Twain + himself mentioned the matter to Carnegie, and suggested to him that + it was poor financiering to put all of one's eggs into one basket, + meaning into iron. But Carnegie answered, "That's a mistake; put + all your eggs into one basket and watch that basket." + + It was March when Clemens felt that once more his presence was + demanded in America. He must see if anything could be realized from + the type-setter or L. A. L. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + March 13, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am busy getting ready to sail the 22d, in the Kaiser +Wilhelm II. + +I send herewith 2 magazine articles. + +The Story contains 3,800 to 4,000 words. + +The "Diary" contains 3,800 words. + +Each would make about 4 pages of the Century. + +The Diary is a gem, if I do say it myself that shouldn't. + +If the Cosmopolitan wishes to pay $600 for either of them or $1,200 for +both, gather in the check, and I will use the money in America instead of +breaking into your treasury. + +If they don't wish to trade for either, send the articles to the Century, +without naming a price, and if their check isn't large enough I will call +and abuse them when I come. + +I signed and mailed the notes yesterday. + Yours + S. L. C. + + + Clemens reached New York on the 3d of April and made a trip to + Chicago, but accomplished nothing, except to visit the World's Fair + and be laid up with a severe cold. The machine situation had not + progressed. The financial stringency of 1893 had brought everything + to a standstill. The New York bank would advance Webster & Co. no + more money. So disturbed were his affairs, so disordered was + everything, that sometimes he felt himself as one walking amid + unrealities. A fragment of a letter to Mrs. Crane conveys this: + + "I dreamed I was born and grew up and was a pilot on the Mississippi + and a miner and a journalist in Nevada and a pilgrim in the Quaker + City, and had a wife and children and went to live in a villa at + Florence--and this dream goes on and on and sometimes seems so real + that I almost believe it is real. I wonder if it is? But there is + no way to tell, for if one applies tests they would be part of the + dream, too, and so would simply aid the deceit. I wish I knew + whether it is a dream or real." + + He saw Warner, briefly, in America; also Howells, now living in New + York, but he had little time for visiting. On May 13th he sailed + again for Europe on the Kaiser Wilhelm II. On the night before + sailing he sent Howells a good-by word. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York City: + + MURRAY HILL HOTEL, NEW YORE, May 12, 1893. + Midnight. +DEAR HOWELLS--I am so sorry I missed you. + +I am very glad to have that book for sea entertainment, and I thank you +ever so much for it. + +I've had a little visit with Warner at last; I was getting afraid I +wasn't going to have a chance to see him at all. I forgot to tell you +how thoroughly I enjoyed your account of the country printing office, and +how true it all was and how intimately recognizable in all its details. +But Warner was full of delight over it, and that reminded me, and I am +glad, for I wanted to speak of it. + +You have given me a book; Annie Trumbull has sent me her book; I bought a +couple of books; Mr. Hall gave me a choice German book; Laflan gave me +two bottles of whisky and a box of cigars--I go to sea nobly equipped. + +Good-bye and all good fortune attend you and yours--and upon you all I +leave my benediction. + MARK. + + + Mention has already been made of the Ross home being very near to + Viviani, and the association of the Ross and Clemens families. + There was a fine vegetable garden on the Ross estate, and it was in + the interest of it that the next letter was written to the Secretary + of Agriculture. + + + To Hon. J. Sterling Morton, in Washington, D. C.: + Editorial Department Century Magazine, Union Square, + + NEW YORK, April 6, 1893. +TO THE HON. J. STERLING MORTON,--Dear Sir: Your petitioner, Mark Twain, +a poor farmer of Connecticut--indeed, the poorest one there, in the +opinion of many-desires a few choice breeds of seed corn (maize), and in +return will zealously support the Administration in all ways honorable +and otherwise. + +To speak by the card, I want these things to hurry to Italy to an English +lady. She is a neighbor of mine outside of Florence, and has a great +garden and thinks she could raise corn for her table if she had the right +ammunition. I myself feel a warm interest in this enterprise, both on +patriotic grounds and because I have a key to that garden, which I got +made from a wax impression. It is not very good soil, still I think she +can grow enough for one table and I am in a position to select the table. +If you are willing to aid and abet a countryman (and Gilder thinks you +are,) please find the signature and address of your petitioner below. + +Respectfully and truly yours. + MARK TWAIN, + +67 Fifth Avenue, New York. + +P. S.--A handful of choice (Southern) watermelon seeds would pleasantly +add to that lady's employments and give my table a corresponding lift. + + + His idea of business values had moderated considerably by the time + he had returned to Florence. He was not hopeless yet, but he was + clearly a good deal disheartened--anxious for freedom. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + FLORENCE May 30, '93 +DEAR MR. HALL,--You were to cable me if you sold any machine royalties-- +so I judge you have not succeeded. + +This has depressed me. I have been looking over the past year's letters +and statements and am depressed still more. + +I am terribly tired of business. I am by nature and disposition unfitted +for it and I want to get out of it. I am standing on the Mount Morris +volcano with help from the machine a long way off--doubtless a long way +further off than the Connecticut Co. imagines. + +Now here is my idea for getting out. + +The firm owes Mrs. Clemens and me--I do not know quite how much, but it +is about $170,000 or $175,000, 1 suppose (I make this guess from the +documents here, whose technicalities confuse me horribly.) + +The firm owes other sums, but there is stock and cash assets to cover the +entire indebtedness and $116,679.20 over. Is that it? In addition we +have the L. A. L. plates and copyright, worth more than $130,000--is +that correct? + +That is to say, we have property worth about $250,000 above indebtedness, +I suppose--or, by one of your estimates, $300,000? The greater part of +the first debts to me is in notes paying 6 percent. The rest (the old +$70,000 or whatever it is) pays no interest. + +Now then, will Harper or Appleton, or Putnam give me $200,000 for those +debts and my two-thirds interest in the firm? (The firm of course taking +the Mount Morris and all such obligations off my hands and leaving me +clear of all responsibility.) + +I don't want much money. I only want first class notes--$200,000 worth +of them at 6 per cent, payable monthly;--yearly notes, renewable annually +for 3 years, with $5,000 of the principal payable at the beginning and +middle of each year. After that, the notes renewable annually and +(perhaps) a larger part of the principal payable semi-annually. + +Please advise me and suggest alterations and emendations of the above +scheme, for I need that sort of help, being ignorant of business and not +able to learn a single detail of it. + +Such a deal would make it easy for a big firm to pour in a big cash +capital and jump L. A. L. up to enormous prosperity. Then your one-third +would be a fortune--and I hope to see that day! + +I enclose an authority to use with Whitmore in case you have sold any +royalties. But if you can't make this deal don't make any. Wait a +little and see if you can't make the deal. Do make the deal if you +possibly can. And if any presence shall be necessary in order to +complete it I will come over, though I hope it can be done without that. + +Get me out of business! + +And I will be yours forever gratefully, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +My idea is, that I am offering my 2/3 of L. A. L. and the business for +thirty or forty thousand dollars. Is that it? + +P. S. S. The new firm could retain my books and reduce them to a +10 percent royalty. S. L. C. + + + To Rev. Jos. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + VILLA VIVIANI, SETTIGNANO (FLORENCE) + June 9, '93. +DEAR JOE,--The sea voyage set me up and I reached here May 27 in +tolerable condition--nothing left but weakness, cough all gone. + +Old Sir Henry Layard was here the other day, visiting our neighbor Janet +Ross, daughter of Lady Duff Gordon, and since then I have been reading +his account of the adventures of his youth in the far East. In a +footnote he has something to say about a sailor which I thought might +interest you--viz: + +"This same quartermaster was celebrated among the English in Mesopotamia +for an entry which he made in his log-book-after a perilous storm; 'The +windy and watery elements raged. Tears and prayers was had recourse to, +but was of no manner of use. So we hauled up the anchor and got round +the point.'" + +There--it isn't Ned Wakeman; it was before his day. + + With love, + MARK. + + + They closed Villa Viviani in June and near the end of the month + arrived in Munich in order that Mrs. Clemens might visit some of the + German baths. The next letter is written by her and shows her deep + sympathy with Hall in his desperate struggle. There have been few + more unselfish and courageous women in history than Mark Twain's + wife. + + + From Mrs. Clemens to Mr. Hall, in New York: + + June 27th 1893 + MUNICH. +DEAR MR. HALL,--Your letter to Mr. Clemens of June 16th has just reached +here; as he has gone to Berlin for Clara I am going to send you just a +line in answer to it. + +Mr. Clemens did not realize what trouble you would be in when his letter +should reach you or he would not have sent it just then. I hope you will +not worry any more than you can help. Do not let our interests weigh on +you too heavily. We both know you will, as you always have, look in +every way to the best interests of all. + +I think Mr. Clemens is right in feeling that he should get out of +business, that he is not fitted for it; it worries him too much. + +But he need be in no haste about it, and of course, it would be the very +farthest from his desire to imperil, in the slightest degree, your +interests in order to save his own. + +I am sure that I voice his wish as well as mine when I say that he would +simply like you to bear in mind the fact that he greatly desires to be +released from his present anxiety and worry, at a time when it shall not +endanger your interest or the safety of the business. + +I am more sorry than I can express that this letter of Mr. Clemens' +should have reached you when you were struggling under such terrible +pressure. I hope now that the weight is not quite so heavy. He would +not have written you about the money if he had known that it was an +inconvenience for you to send it. He thought the book-keeper whose duty +it is to forward it had forgotten. + +We can draw on Mr. Langdon for money for a few weeks until things are a +little easier with you. As Mr. Clemens wrote you we would say "do not +send us any more money at present" if we were not afraid to do so. I +will say, however, do not trouble yourself if for a few weeks you are not +able to send the usual amount. + +Mr. Clemens and I have the greatest possible desire, not to increase in +any way your burdens, and sincerely wish we might aid you. + +I trust my brother may be able, in his talk with you, to throw some +helpful light on the situation. + +Hoping you will see a change for the better and begin to reap the fruit +of your long and hard labor. + Believe me + Very Cordially yours + OLIVIA L. CLEMENS. + + +Hall, naturally, did not wish to be left alone with the business. He +realized that his credit would suffer, both at the bank and with the +public, if his distinguished partner should retire. He wrote, therefore, +proposing as an alternate that they dispose of the big subscription set +that was swamping them. It was a good plan--if it would work--and we +find Clemens entering into it heartily. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + MUNICH, July 3, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--You make a suggestion which has once or twice flitted +dimly through my mind heretofore to wit, sell L. A. L. + +I like that better than the other scheme, for it is no doubt feasible, +whereas the other is perhaps not. + +The firm is in debt, but L. A. L. is free--and not only free but has +large money owing to it. A proposition to sell that by itself to a big +house could be made without embarrassment we merely confess that we +cannot spare capital from the rest of the business to run it on the huge +scale necessary to make it an opulent success. + +It will be selling a good thing--for somebody; and it will be getting rid +of a load which we are clearly not able to carry. Whoever buys will have +a noble good opening--a complete equipment, a well organized business, +a capable and experienced manager, and enterprise not experimental but +under full sail, and immediately able to pay 50 per cent a year on every +dollar the publisher shall actually invest in it--I mean in making and +selling the books. + +I am miserably sorry to be adding bothers and torments to the over-supply +which you already have in these hideous times, but I feel so troubled, +myself, considering the dreary fact that we are getting deeper and deeper +in debt and the L. A. L. getting to be a heavier and heavier burden all +the time, that I must bestir myself and seek a way of relief. + +It did not occur to me that in selling out I would injure you--for that I +am not going to do. But to sell L. A. L. will not injure you it will put +you in better shape. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + July 8, '92. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am sincerely glad you are going to sell L. A. L. I am +glad you are shutting off the agents, and I hope the fatal book will be +out of our hands before it will be time to put them on again. With +nothing but our non-existent capital to work with the book has no value +for us, rich a prize as it will be to any competent house that gets it. + +I hope you are making an effort to sell before you discharge too many +agents, for I suppose the agents are a valuable part of the property. + +We have been stopping in Munich for awhile, but we shall make a break for +some country resort in a few days now. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. C. + + July 8 +P. S. No, I suppose I am wrong in suggesting that you wait a moment +before discharging your L. A. L. agents--in fact I didn't mean that. +I judge your only hope of salvation is in discharging them all at once, +since it is their commissions that threaten to swamp us. It is they who +have eaten up the $14,000 I left with you in such a brief time, no doubt. + +I feel panicky. + +I think the sale might be made with better advantage, however, now, than +later when the agents have got out of the purchaser's reach. + S. L. C. + +P. S. No monthly report for many months. + + + Those who are old enough to remember the summer of 1893 may recall + it as a black financial season. Banks were denying credit, + businesses were forced to the wall. It was a poor time to float any + costly enterprise. The Chicago company who was trying to build the + machines made little progress. The book business everywhere was + bad. In a brief note following the foregoing letters Clemens wrote + Hall: + + "It is now past the middle of July and no cablegram to say the + machine is finished. We are afraid you are having miserable days + and worried nights, and we sincerely wish we could relieve you, but + it is all black with us and we don't know any helpful thing to say + or do." + + He inclosed some kind of manuscript proposition for John Brisben + Walker, of the Cosmopolitan, with the comment: "It is my ingenious + scheme to protect the family against the alms-house for one more + year--and after that--well, goodness knows! I have never felt so + desperate in my life--and good reason, for I haven't got a penny to + my name, and Mrs. Clemens hasn't enough laid up with Langdon to keep + us two months." + + It was like Mark Twain, in the midst of all this turmoil, to project + an entirely new enterprise; his busy mind was always visioning + success in unusual undertakings, regardless of immediate conditions + and the steps necessary to achievement. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + July 26, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--..... I hope the machine will be finished this month; +but it took me four years and cost me $100,000 to finish the other +machine after it was apparently entirely complete and setting type like a +house-afire. + +I wonder what they call "finished." After it is absolutely perfect it +can't go into a printing-office until it has had a month's wear, running +night and day, to get the bearings smooth, I judge. + +I may be able to run over about mid-October. Then if I find you relieved +of L. A. L. we will start a magazine inexpensive, and of an entirely +unique sort. Arthur Stedman and his father editors of it. Arthur could +do all the work, merely submitting it to his father for approval. + +The first number should pay--and all subsequent ones--25 cents a number. +Cost of first number (20,000 copies) $2,000. Give most of them away, +sell the rest. Advertising and other expenses--cost unknown. Send one +to all newspapers--it would get a notice--favorable, too. + +But we cannot undertake it until L. A. L, is out of the way. With our +hands free and some capital to spare, we could make it hum. + +Where is the Shelley article? If you have it on hand, keep it and I will +presently tell you what to do with it. + +Don't forget to tell me. + Yours Sincerely + S. L. C. + + + The Shelley article mentioned in this letter was the "Defense of + Harriet Sheller," one of the very best of his essays. How he could + have written this splendid paper at a time of such distraction + passes comprehension. Furthermore, it is clear that he had revised, + indeed rewritten, the long story of Pudd'nhead Wilson. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + July 30, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--This time "Pudd'nhead Wilson" is a success! Even Mrs. +Clemens, the most difficult of critics, confesses it, and without +reserves or qualifications. Formerly she would not consent that it be +published either before or after my death. I have pulled the twins apart +and made two individuals of them; I have sunk them out of sight, they are +mere flitting shadows, now, and of no importance; their story has +disappeared from the book. Aunt Betsy Hale has vanished wholly, leaving +not a trace behind; aunt Patsy Cooper and her daughter Rowena have almost +disappeared--they scarcely walk across the stage. The whole story is +centered on the murder and the trial; from the first chapter the movement +is straight ahead without divergence or side-play to the murder and the +trial; everything that is done or said or that happens is a preparation +for those events. Therefore, 3 people stand up high, from beginning to +end, and only 3--Pudd'nhead, "Tom" Driscoll, and his nigger mother, +Roxana; none of the others are important, or get in the way of the story +or require the reader's attention. Consequently, the scenes and episodes +which were the strength of the book formerly are stronger than ever, now. + +When I began this final reconstruction the story contained 81,500 words, +now it contains only 58,000. I have knocked out everything that delayed +the march of the story--even the description of a Mississippi steamboat. +There's no weather in, and no scenery--the story is stripped for flight! + +Now, then what is she worth? The amount of matter is but 3,000 words +short of the American Claimant, for which the syndicate paid $12,500. +There was nothing new in that story, but the finger-prints in this one +is virgin ground--absolutely fresh, and mighty curious and interesting +to everybody. + +I don't want any more syndicating--nothing short of $20,000, anyway, and +that I can't get--but won't you see how much the Cosmopolitan will stand? + +Do your best for me, for I do not sleep these nights, for visions of the +poor-house. + +This in spite of the hopeful tone of yours of 11th to Langdon (just +received) for in me hope is very nearly expiring. Everything does look +so blue, so dismally blue! + +By and by I shall take up the Rhone open-boat voyage again, but not now- +we are going to be moving around too much. I have torn up some of it, +but still have 15,000 words that Mrs. Clemens approves of, and that I +like. I may go at it in Paris again next winter, but not unless I know I +can write it to suit me. + +Otherwise I shall tackle Adam once more, and do him in a kind of a +friendly and respectful way that will commend him to the Sunday schools. +I've been thinking out his first life-days to-day and framing his +childish and ignorant impressions and opinions for him. + +Will ship Pudd'nhead in a few days. When you get it cable + + Mark Twain + Care Brownship, London + Received. + +I mean to ship "Pudd'nhead Wilson" to you-say, tomorrow. It'll furnish +me hash for awhile I reckon. I am almost sorry it is finished; it was +good entertainment to work at it, and kept my mind away from things. + +We leave here in about ten days, but the doctors have changed our plans +again. I think we shall be in Bohemia or thereabouts till near the end +of September, then go to Paris and take a rest. + Yours Sincerely + S. L. C. + +P. S. Mrs. Clemens has come in since, and read your letter and is deeply +distressed. She thinks that in some letter of mine I must have +reproached you. She says it is wonderful that you have kept the ship +afloat in this storm that has seen fleets and fleets go down; that from +what she learns of the American business-situation from her home letters +you have accomplished a marvel in the circumstances, and that she cannot +bear to have a word said to you that shall voice anything but praise and +the heartiest appreciation--and not the shadow of a reproach will she +allow. + +I tell her I didn't reproach you and never thought of such a thing. And +I said I would break open my letter and say so. + +Mrs. Clemens says I must tell you not to send any money for a month or +two--so that you may be afforded what little relief is in our power. +All right--I'm willing; (this is honest) but I wish Brer Chatto would +send along his little yearly contribution. I dropped him a line about +another matter a week ago--asked him to subscribe for the Daily News for +me--you see I wanted to remind him in a covert way that it was pay-up +time--but doubtless I directed the letter to you or some one else, for I +don't hear from him and don't get any Daily News either. + + +To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Aug. 6, '93. +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am very sorry--it was thoughtless in me. Let the +reports go. Send me once a month two items, and two only: + +Cash liabilities--(so much) +Cash assets--(so much) + +I can perceive the condition of the business at a glance, then, and that +will be sufficient. + +Here we never see a newspaper, but even if we did I could not come +anywhere near appreciating or correctly estimating the tempest you have +been buffeting your way through--only the man who is in it can do that-- +but I have tried not to burden you thoughtlessly or wantonly. I have +been wrought and unsettled in mind by apprehensions, and that is a thing +that is not helpable when one is in a strange land and sees his resources +melt down to a two months' supply and can't see any sure daylight beyond. +The bloody machine offered but a doubtful outlook--and will still offer +nothing much better for a long time to come; for when Davis's "three +weeks" is up there's three months' tinkering to follow I guess. That is +unquestionably the boss machine of the world, but is the toughest one on +prophets, when it is in an incomplete state, that has ever seen the +light. Neither Davis nor any other man can foretell with any +considerable approach to certainty when it will be ready to get down to +actual work in a printing office. + + [No signature.] + + + Three days after the foregoing letter was written he wrote, briefly: + + "Great Scott but it's a long year-for you and me! I never knew the + almanac to drag so. At least since I was finishing that other + machine. + + "I watch for your letters hungrily--just as I used to watch for the + cablegram saying the machine's finished; but when 'next week + certainly' swelled into 'three weeks sure' I recognized the old + familiar tune I used to hear so much. Ward don't know what sick- + heartedness is--but he is in a way to find out." + + Always the quaint form of his humor, no matter how dark the way. + We may picture him walking the floor, planning, scheming, and + smoking--always smoking--trying to find a way out. It was not the + kind of scheming that many men have done under the circumstances; + not scheming to avoid payment of debts, but to pay them. + + + To Fred J. Hall, in New York: + + Aug. 14, '93 +DEAR MR. HALL,--I am very glad indeed if you and Mr. Langdon are able to +see any daylight ahead. To me none is visible. I strongly advise that +every penny that comes in shall be applied to paying off debts. I may be +in error about this, but it seems to me that we have no other course +open. We can pay a part of the debts owing to outsiders--none to the +Clemenses. In very prosperous times we might regard our stock and +copyrights as assets sufficient, with the money owing to us, to square up +and quit even, but I suppose we may not hope for such luck in the present +condition of things. + +What I am mainly hoping for, is to save my royalties. If they come into +danger I hope you will cable me, so that I can come over and try to save +them, for if they go I am a beggar. + +I would sail to-day if I had anybody to take charge of my family and help +them through the difficult journeys commanded by the doctors. I may be +able to sail ten days hence; I hope so, and expect so. + +We can never resurrect the L. A. L. I would not spend any more money on +that book. You spoke, a while back, of trying to start it up again as a +preparation to disposing of it, but we are not in shape to venture that, +I think. It would require more borrowing, and we must not do that. + Yours Sincerely + S. L. C. + +Aug. 16. I have thought, and thought, but I don't seem to arrive in any +very definite place. Of course you will not have an instant's safety +until the bank debts are paid. There is nothing to be thought of but to +hand over every penny as fast as it comes in--and that will be slow +enough! Or could you secure them by pledging part of our cash assets +and-- + +I am coming over, just as soon as I can get the family moved and settled. + S. L. C. + + + Two weeks following this letter he could endure the suspense no + longer, and on August 29th sailed once more for America. In New + York, Clemens settled down at the Players Club, where he could live + cheaply, and undertook some literary work while he was casting about + for ways and means to relieve the financial situation. Nothing + promising occurred, until one night at the Murray Hill Hotel he was + introduced by Dr. Clarence C. Rice to Henry H. Rogers, of the + Standard Oil group of financiers. Rogers had a keen sense of humor + and had always been a great admirer of Mark Twain's work. It was a + mirthful evening, and certainly an eventful one in Mark Twain's + life. A day or two later Doctor Rice asked the millionaire to + interest himself a little in Clemens's business affairs, which he + thought a good deal confused. Just what happened is not remembered + now, but from the date of the next letter we realize that a + discussion of the matter by Clemens and Rogers must have followed + pretty promptly. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Europe: + + Oct. 18, '93. +DEAR, DEAR SWEETHEART,--I don't seem to get even half a chance to write +you, these last two days, and yet there's lots to say. + +Apparently everything is at last settled as to the giveaway of L. A. L., +and the papers will be signed and the transfer made to-morrow morning. + +Meantime I have got the best and wisest man in the whole Standard Oil +group of mufti-millionaires a good deal interested in looking into the +type-setter (this is private, don't mention it.) He has been searching +into that thing for three weeks, and yesterday he said to me, "I find the +machine to be all you represented it--I have here exhaustive reports from +my own experts, and I know every detail of its capacity, its immense +value, its construction, cost, history, and all about its inventor's +character. I know that the New York Co. and the Chicago Co. are both +stupid, and that they are unbusinesslike people, destitute of money and +in a hopeless boggle." + +Then he told me the scheme he had planned, then said: "If I can arrange +with these people on this basis--it will take several weeks to find out-- +I will see to it that they get the money they need. Then the thing will +move right along and your royalties will cease to be waste paper. I will +post you the minute my scheme fails or succeeds. In the meantime, you +stop walking the floor. Go off to the country and try to be gay. You +may have to go to walking again, but don't begin till I tell you my +scheme has failed." And he added: "Keep me posted always as to where you +are--for if I need you and can use you--I want to know where to put my +hand on you." + +If I should even divulge the fact that the Standard Oil is merely talking +remotely about going into the type-setter, it would send my royalties up. + +With worlds and worlds of love and kisses to you all, + SAML. + + +With so great a burden of care shifted to the broad financial shoulders +of H. H. Rogers, Mark Twain's spirits went ballooning, soaring toward the +stars. He awoke, too, to some of the social gaieties about him, and +found pleasure in the things that in the hour of his gloom had seemed +mainly mockery. We find him going to a Sunday evening at Howells's, to +John Mackay's, and elsewhere. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Dec. 2, '93. +LIVY DARLING,--Last night at John Mackay's the dinner consisted of soup, +raw oysters, corned beef and cabbage, and something like a custard. +I ate without fear or stint, and yet have escaped all suggestion of +indigestion. The men present were old gray Pacific-coasters whom I knew +when I and they were young and not gray. The talk was of the days when +we went gypsying a long time ago--thirty years. Indeed it was a talk of +the dead. Mainly that. And of how they looked, and the harum-scarum +things they did and said. For there were no cares in that life, no aches +and pains, and not time enough in the day (and three-fourths of the +night) to work off one's surplus vigor and energy. Of the mid-night +highway robbery joke played upon me with revolvers at my head on the +windswept and desolate Gold Hill Divide, no witness is left but me, the +victim. All the friendly robbers are gone. These old fools last night +laughed till they cried over the particulars of that old forgotten crime. + +John Mackay has no family here but a pet monkey--a most affectionate and +winning little devil. But he makes trouble for the servants, for he is +full of curiosity and likes to take everything out of the drawers and +examine it minutely; and he puts nothing back. The examinations of +yesterday count for nothing to-day--he makes a new examination every day. +But he injures nothing. + +I went with Laffan to the Racquet Club the other night and played, +billiards two hours without starting up any rheumatism. I suppose it was +all really taken out of me in Berlin. + +Richard Harding Davis spoke yesterday of Clara's impersonations at Mrs. +Van Rensselaer's here and said they were a wonderful piece of work. + +Livy dear, I do hope you are comfortable, as to quarters and food at the +Hotel Brighton. But if you're not don't stay there. Make one more +effort--don't give it up. Dear heart, this is from one who loves you-- +which is Saml. + + + It was decided that Rogers and Clemens should make a trip to Chicago + to investigate personally the type-setter situation there. Clemens + reports the details of the excursion to Mrs. Clemens in a long + subdivided letter, most of which has no general interest and is here + omitted. The trip, as a whole, would seem to have been + satisfactory. The personal portions of the long Christmas letter + may properly be preserved. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + THE PLAYERS, Xmas, 1893. + No. 1. +Merry Xmas, my darling, and all my darlings! I arrived from Chicago +close upon midnight last night, and wrote and sent down my Christmas +cablegram before undressing: "Merry Xmas! Promising progress made in +Chicago." It would get to the telegraph office toward 8 this morning and +reach you at luncheon. + +I was vaguely hoping, all the past week, that my Xmas cablegram would be +definite, and make you all jump with jubilation; but the thought always +intruded itself, "You are not going out there to negotiate with a man, +but with a louse. This makes results uncertain." + +I was asleep as Christmas struck upon the clock at mid night, and didn't +wake again till two hours ago. It is now half past 10 Xmas morning; I +have had my coffee and bread, and shan't get out of bed till it is time +to dress for Mrs. Laflan's Christmas dinner this evening--where I shall +meet Bram Stoker and must make sure about that photo with Irving's +autograph. I will get the picture and he will attend to the rest. In +order to remember and not forget--well, I will go there with my dress +coat wrong side out; it will cause remark and then I shall remember. + + + No. 2 and 3. +I tell you it was interesting! The Chicago campaign, I mean. On the way +out Mr. Rogers would plan out the campaign while I walked the floor and +smoked and assented. Then he would close it up with a snap and drop it +and we would totally change the subject and take up the scenery, etc. + +(Here follows the long detailed report of the Chicago conference, of +interest only to the parties directly concerned.) + + + No. 4. +We had nice tripe, going and coming. Mr. Rogers had telegraphed the +Pennsylvania Railroad for a couple of sections for us in the fast train +leaving at 2 p. m. the 22nd. The Vice President telegraphed back that +every berth was engaged (which was not true--it goes without saying) but +that he was sending his own car for us. It was mighty nice and +comfortable. In its parlor it had two sofas, which could become beds at +night. It had four comfortably-cushioned cane arm-chairs. It had a very +nice bedroom with a wide bed in it; which I said I would take because I +believed I was a little wider than Mr. Rogers--which turned out to be +true; so I took it. It had a darling back-porch--railed, roofed and +roomy; and there we sat, most of the time, and viewed the scenery and +talked, for the weather was May weather, and the soft dream-pictures of +hill and river and mountain and sky were clear and away beyond anything I +have ever seen for exquisiteness and daintiness. + +The colored waiter knew his business, and the colored cook was a finished +artist. Breakfasts: coffee with real cream; beefsteaks, sausage, bacon, +chops, eggs in various ways, potatoes in various--yes, and quite +wonderful baked potatoes, and hot as fire. Dinners--all manner of +things, including canvas-back duck, apollinaris, claret, champagne, etc. + +We sat up chatting till midnight, going and coming; seldom read a line, +day or night, though we were well fixed with magazines, etc.; then I +finished off with a hot Scotch and we went to bed and slept till 9.30a.m. +I honestly tried to pay my share of hotel bills, fees, etc., but I was +not allowed--and I knew the reason why, and respected the motive. I will +explain when I see you, and then you will understand. + +We were 25 hours going to Chicago; we were there 24 hours; we were 30 +hours returning. Brisk work, but all of it enjoyable. We insisted on +leaving the car at Philadelphia so that our waiter and cook (to whom Mr. +R. gave $10 apiece,) could have their Christmas-eve at home. + +Mr. Rogers's carriage was waiting for us in Jersey City and deposited me +at the Players. There--that's all. This letter is to make up for the +three letterless days. I love you, dear heart, I love you all. + SAML. + + + + +XXXIV + +LETTERS 1894. A WINTER IN NEW YORK. BUSINESS FAILURE. +END OF THE MACHINE + +The beginning of the new year found Mark Twain sailing buoyantly on a +tide of optimism. He believed that with H. H. Rogers as his financial +pilot he could weather safely any storm or stress. He could divert +himself, or rest, or work, and consider his business affairs with +interest and amusement, instead of with haggard anxiety. He ran over to +Hartford to see an amateur play; to Boston to give a charity reading; to +Fair Haven to open the library which Mr. Rogers had established there; he +attended gay dinners, receptions, and late studio parties, acquiring the +name of the "Belle of New York." In the letters that follow we get the +echo of some of these things. The Mrs. Rice mentioned in the next brief +letter was the wife of Dr. Clarence C. Rice, who had introduced +H. H. Rogers to Mark Twain. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Jan. 12, '94 +Livy darling, I came down from Hartford yesterday with Kipling, and he +and Hutton and I had the small smoking compartment to ourselves and found +him at last at his ease, and not shy. He was very pleasant company +indeed. He is to be in the city a week, and I wish I could invite him to +dinner, but it won't do. I should be interrupted by business, of course. +The construction of a contract that will suit Paige's lawyer (not Paige) +turns out to be very difficult. He is embarrassed by earlier advice to +Paige, and hates to retire from it and stultify himself. The +negotiations are being conducted, by means of tedious long telegrams and +by talks over the long-distance telephone. We keep the wires loaded. + +Dear me, dinner is ready. So Mrs. Rice says. + + With worlds of love, + SAML. + + +Clemens and Oliver Wendell Holmes had met and become friends soon after +the publication of Innocents Abroad, in 1869. Now, twenty-five years +later, we find a record of what without doubt was their last meeting. +It occurred at the home of Mrs. James T. Field. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + BOSTON, Jan. 25, '94. +Livy darling, I am caught out worse this time than ever before, in the +matter of letters. Tuesday morning I was smart enough to finish and mail +my long letter to you before breakfast--for I was suspecting that I would +not have another spare moment during the day. It turned out just so. + +In a thoughtless moment I agreed to come up here and read for the poor. +I did not reflect that it would cost me three days. I could not get +released. Yesterday I had myself called at 8 and ran out to Mr. Rogers's +house at 9, and talked business until half past 10; then caught 11 +o'clock train and arrived here at 6; was shaven and dressed by 7 and +ready for dinner here in Mrs. Field's charming house. + +Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes never goes out now (he is in his 84th year,) +but he came out this time-said he wanted to "have a time" once more with +me. + +Mrs. Fields said Aldrich begged to come and went away crying because she +wouldn't let him. She allowed only her family (Sarah Orne Jewett and +sister) to be present, because much company would overtax Dr. Holmes. + +Well, he was just delightful! He did as brilliant and beautiful talking +(and listening) as ever he did in his life, I guess. Fields and Jewett +said he hadn't been in such splendid form in years. He had ordered his +carriage for 9. + +The coachman sent in for him at 9; but he said, "Oh, nonsense!--leave +glories and grandeurs like these? Tell him to go away and come in an +hour!" + +At 10 he was called for again, and Mrs. Fields, getting uneasy, rose, but +he wouldn't go--and so we rattled ahead the same as ever. Twice more +Mrs. Fields rose, but he wouldn't go--and he didn't go till half past 10 +--an unwarrantable dissipation for him in these days. He was +prodigiously complimentary about some of my books, and is having +Pudd'nhead read to him. I told him you and I used the Autocrat as a +courting book and marked it all through, and that you keep it in the +sacred green box with the love letters, and it pleased him. + +Good-bye, my dear darling, it is 15 minutes to dinner and I'm not dressed +yet. I have a reception to-night and will be out very late at that place +and at Irving's Theatre where I have a complimentary box. I wish you +were all here. + SAML. + + + In the next letter we meet James J. Corbett--"Gentleman Jim," as he + was sometimes called--the champion pugilist of that day. + + The Howells incident so amusingly dramatized will perhaps be more + appreciated if the reader remembers that Mark Twain himself had at + intervals been a mind-healing enthusiast. Indeed, in spite of his + strictures on Mrs. Eddy, his interest in the subject of mind-cure + continued to the end of his life. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Sunday, 9.30 a. m. +Livy dear, when we got out to the house last night, Mrs. Rogers, who is +up and around, now, didn't want to go down stairs to dinner, but Mr. R. +persuaded her and we had a very good time indeed. By 8 o'clock we were +down again and bought a fifteen-dollar box in the Madison Square Garden +(Rogers bought it, not I,) then he went and fetched Dr. Rice while I +(went) to the Players and picked up two artists--Reid and Simmons--and +thus we filled 5 of the 6 seats. There was a vast multitude of people in +the brilliant place. Stanford White came along presently and invited me +to go to the World-Champion's dressing room, which I was very glad to do. +Corbett has a fine face and is modest and diffident, besides being the +most perfectly and beautifully constructed human animal in the world. +I said: + +"You have whipped Mitchell, and maybe you will whip Jackson in June--but +you are not done, then. You will have to tackle me." + +He answered, so gravely that one might easily have thought him in +earnest: + +"No--I am not going to meet you in the ring. It is not fair or right to +require it. You might chance to knock me out, by no merit of your own, +but by a purely accidental blow; and then my reputation would be gone and +you would have a double one. You have got fame enough and you ought not +to want to take mine away from me." + +Corbett was for a long time a clerk in the Nevada Bank in San Francisco. + +There were lots of little boxing matches, to entertain the crowd: then at +last Corbett appeared in the ring and the 8,000 people present went mad +with enthusiasm. My two artists went mad about his form. They said they +had never seen anything that came reasonably near equaling its perfection +except Greek statues, and they didn't surpass it. + +Corbett boxed 3 rounds with the middle-weight Australian champion--oh, +beautiful to see!--then the show was over and we struggled out through a +perfect wash of humanity. When we reached the street I found I had left +my arctics in the box. I had to have them, so Simmons said he would go +back and get them, and I didn't dissuade him. I couldn't see how he was +going to make his way a single yard into that solid oncoming wave of +people--yet he must plow through it full 50 yards. He was back with the +shoes in 3 minutes! + +How do you reckon he accomplished that miracle? By saying: + +"Way, gentlemen, please--coming to fetch Mr. Corbett's overshoes." + +The word flew from mouth to mouth, the Red Sea divided, and Simmons +walked comfortably through and back, dry shod. Simmons (this was +revealed to me under seal of secrecy by Reid) is the hero of "Gwen," and +he and Gwen's author were once engaged to marry. This is "fire-escape" +Simmons, the inveterate talker, you know: "Exit--in case of Simmons." + +I had an engagement at a beautiful dwelling close to the Players for +10.30; I was there by 10.45. Thirty cultivated and very musical ladies +and gentlemen present--all of them acquaintances and many of them +personal friends of mine. That wonderful Hungarian Band was there (they +charge $500 for an evening.) Conversation and Band until midnight; then a +bite of supper; then the company was compactly grouped before me and I +told about Dr. B. E. Martin and the etchings, and followed it with the +Scotch-Irish Christening. My, but the Martin is a darling story! Next, +the head tenor from the Opera sang half a dozen great songs that set the +company wild, yes, mad with delight, that nobly handsome young Damrosch +accompanying on the piano. + +Just a little pause--then the Band burst out into an explosion of weird +and tremendous dance music, a Hungarian celebrity and his wife took the +floor--I followed; I couldn't help it; the others drifted in, one by one, +and it was Onteora over again. + +By half past 4 I had danced all those people down--and yet was not tired; +merely breathless. I was in bed at 5, and asleep in ten minutes. Up at +9 and presently at work on this letter to you. I think I wrote until 2 +or half past. Then I walked leisurely out to Mr. Rogers's (it is called +3 miles but it is short of it) arriving at 3.30, but he was out-- +to return at 5.30--(and a person was in, whom I don't particularly like) +--so I didn't stay, but dropped over and chatted with the Howellses until +6. + +First, Howells and I had a chat together. I asked about Mrs. H. He said +she was fine, still steadily improving, and nearly back to her old best +health. I asked (as if I didn't know): + +"What do you attribute this strange miracle to?" + +"Mind-cure--simply mind-cure." + +"Lord, what a conversion! You were a scoffer three months ago." + +"I? I wasn't." + +"You were. You made elaborate fun of me in this very room." + +"I did not, Clemens." + +"It's a lie, Howells, you did." + +I detailed to him the conversation of that time--with the stately +argument furnished by Boyesen in the fact that a patient had actually +been killed by a mind-curist; and Howells's own smart remark that when +the mind-curist is done with you, you have to call in a "regular" at last +because the former can't procure you a burial permit. + +At last he gave in--he said he remembered that talk, but had now been a +mind-curist so long it was difficult for him to realize that he had ever +been anything else. + +Mrs. H. came skipping in, presently, the very person, to a dot, that she +used to be, so many years ago. + +Mrs. H. said: "People may call it what they like, but it is just +hypnotism, and that's all it is--hypnotism pure and simple. Mind-cure! +--the idea! Why, this woman that cured me hasn't got any mind. She's a +good creature, but she's dull and dumb and illiterate and--" + +"Now Eleanor!" + +"I know what I'm talking about!--don't I go there twice a week? And Mr. +Clemens, if you could only see her wooden and satisfied face when she +snubs me for forgetting myself and showing by a thoughtless remark that +to me weather is still weather, instead of being just an abstraction and +a superstition--oh, it's the funniest thing you ever saw! A-n-d-when she +tilts up her nose-well, it's--it's--Well it's that kind of a nose that--" + +"Now Eleanor!--the woman is not responsible for her nose--" and so-on and +so-on. It didn't seem to me that I had any right to be having this feast +and you not there. + +She convinced me before she got through, that she and William James are +right--hypnotism and mind-cure are the same thing; no difference between +them. Very well; the very source, the very center of hypnotism is Paris. +Dr. Charcot's pupils and disciples are right there and ready to your hand +without fetching poor dear old Susy across the stormy sea. Let Mrs. +Mackay (to whom I send my best respects), tell you whom to go to to learn +all you need to learn and how to proceed. Do, do it, honey. Don't lose +a minute. + +.....At 11 o'clock last night Mr. Rogers said: + +"I am able to feel physical fatigue--and I feel it now. You never show +any, either in your eyes or your movements; do you ever feel any?" + +I was able to say that I had forgotten what that feeling was like. Don't +you remember how almost impossible it was for me to tire myself at the +Villa? Well, it is just so in New York. I go to bed unfatigued at 3, +I get up fresh and fine six hours later. I believe I have taken only one +daylight nap since I have been here. + +When the anchor is down, then I shall say: + +"Farewell--a long farewell--to business! I will never touch it again!" + +I will live in literature, I will wallow in it, revel in it, I will swim +in ink! Joan of Arc--but all this is premature; the anchor is not down +yet. + +To-morrow (Tuesday) I will add a P. S. if I've any to add; but, whether +or no, I must mail this to morrow, for the mail steamer goes next day. + +5.30 p. m. Great Scott, this is Tuesday! I must rush this letter into +the mail instantly. + +Tell that sassy Ben I've got her welcome letter, and I'll write her as +soon as I get a daylight chance. I've most time at night, but I'd +druther write daytimes. + SAML. + + + The Reid and Simmons mentioned in the foregoing were Robert Reid and + Edward Simmons, distinguished painter--the latter a brilliant, + fluent, and industrious talker. The title; "Fire-escape Simmons," + which Clemens gives him, originated when Oliver Herford, whose + quaint wit has so long delighted New-Yorkers, one day pinned up by + the back door of the Players the notice: "Exit in case of Simmons." + Gwen, a popular novel of that day, was written by Blanche Willis + Howard. + + "Jamie" Dodge, in the next letter, was the son of Mrs. Mary Mapes + Dodge, editor of St. Nicholas. + + + To Clara Clemens, in Paris: + + MR. ROGERS'S OFFICE, Feb. 5, '94. +Dear Benny--I was intending to answer your letter to-day, but I am away +down town, and will simply whirl together a sentence or two for good- +fellowship. I have bought photographs of Coquelin and Jane Hading and +will ask them to sign them. I shall meet Coquelin tomorrow night, and if +Hading is not present I will send her picture to her by somebody. + +I am to breakfast with Madame Nordica in a few days, and meantime I hope +to get a good picture of her to sign. She was of the breakfast company +yesterday, but the picture of herself which she signed and gave me does +not do her majestic beauty justice. + +I am too busy to attend to the photo-collecting right, because I have to +live up to the name which Jamie Dodge has given me--the "Belle of New +York"--and it just keeps me rushing. Yesterday I had engagements to +breakfast at noon, dine at 3, and dine again at 7. I got away from the +long breakfast at 2 p. m., went and excused myself from the 3 o'clock +dinner, then lunched with Mrs. Dodge in 58th street, returned to the +Players and dressed, dined out at 9, and was back at Mrs. Dodge's at +10 p. m. where we had magic-lantern views of a superb sort, and a lot of +yarns until an hour after midnight, and got to bed at 2 this morning +--a good deal of a gain on my recent hours. But I don't get tired; I +sleep as sound as a dead person, and always wake up fresh and strong-- +usually at exactly 9. + +I was at breakfast lately where people of seven separate nationalities +sat and the seven languages were going all the time. At my side sat +a charming gentleman who was a delightful and active talker, and +interesting. He talked glibly to those folks in all those seven +languages and still had a language to spare! I wanted to kill him, for +very envy. + + I greet you with love and kisses. + PAPA. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + Feb.--. +Livy dear, last night I played billiards with Mr. Rogers until 11, then +went to Robert Reid's studio and had a most delightful time until 4 this +morning. No ladies were invited this time. Among the people present +were-- + +Coquelin; +Richard Harding Davis; +Harrison, the great out-door painter; +Wm. H. Chase, the artist; +Bettini, inventor of the new phonograph. +Nikola Tesla, the world-wide illustrious electrician; see article about +him in Jan. or Feb. Century. +John Drew, actor; +James Barnes, a marvelous mimic; my, you should see him! +Smedley the artist; +Zorn the artist; +Zogbaum the artist; +Reinhart the artist; +Metcalf the artist; +Ancona, head tenor at the Opera; + +Oh, a great lot of others. Everybody there had done something and was in +his way famous. + +Somebody welcomed Coquelin in a nice little French speech; John Drew did +the like for me in English, and then the fun began. Coquelin did some +excellent French monologues--one of them an ungrammatical Englishman +telling a colorless historiette in French. It nearly killed the fifteen +or twenty people who understood it. + +I told a yarn, Ancona sang half a dozen songs, Barnes did his darling +imitations, Harding Davis sang the hanging of Danny Deever, which was of +course good, but he followed it with that most fascinating (for what +reason I don't know) of all Kipling's poems, "On the Road to Mandalay," +sang it tenderly, and it searched me deeper and charmed me more than the +Deever. + +Young Gerrit Smith played some ravishing dance music and we all danced +about an hour. There couldn't be a pleasanter night than that one was. +Some of those people complained of fatigue but I don't seem to know what +the sense of fatigue is. + +Coquelin talks quite good English now. He said: + +"I have a brother who has the fine mind--ah, a charming and delicate +fancy, and he knows your writings so well, and loves them--and that is +the same with me. It will stir him so when I write and tell him I have +seen you!" + +Wasn't that nice? We talked a good deal together. He is as winning as +his own face. But he wouldn't sign that photograph for Clara. "That? +No! She shall have a better one. I will send it to you." + +He is much driven, and will forget it, but Reid has promised to get the +picture for me, and I will try and keep him reminded. + +Oh, dear, my time is all used up and your letters are not answered. + +Mama, dear, I don't go everywhere--I decline most things. But there are +plenty that I can't well get out of. + +I will remember what you say and not make my yarning too common. + +I am so glad Susy has gone on that trip and that you are trying the +electric. May you both prosper. For you are mighty dear to me and in my +thoughts always. + SAML. + + + The affairs of the Webster Publishing Company were by this time + getting into a very serious condition indeed. The effects of the + panic of the year before could not be overcome. Creditors were + pressing their claims and profits were negligible. In the following + letter we get a Mark Twain estimate of the great financier who so + cheerfully was willing to undertake the solving of Mark Twain's + financial problems. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + THE PLAYERS, Feb. 15, '94. 11.30 p. m. +Livy darling, Yesterday I talked all my various matters over with Mr. +Rogers and we decided that it would be safe for me to leave here the 7th +of March, in the New York. So his private secretary, Miss Harrison, +wrote and ordered a berth for me and then I lost no time in cabling you +that I should reach Southampton March 14, and Paris the 15th. Land, but +it made my pulses leap, to think I was going to see you again!..... +One thing at a time. I never fully laid Webster's disastrous condition +before Mr. Rogers until to-night after billiards. I did hate to burden +his good heart and over-worked head with it, but he took hold with +avidity and said it was no burden to work for his friends, but a +pleasure. We discussed it from various standpoints, and found it a +sufficiently difficult problem to solve; but he thinks that after he has +slept upon it and thought it over he will know what to suggest. + +You must not think I am ever rude with Mr. Rogers, I am not. He is not +common clay, but fine--fine and delicate--and that sort do not call out +the coarsenesses that are in my sort. I am never afraid of wounding him; +I do not need to watch myself in that matter. The sight of him is peace. + +He wants to go to Japan--it is his dream; wants to go with me--which +means, the two families--and hear no more about business for awhile, and +have a rest. And he needs it. But it is like all the dreams of all busy +men--fated to remain dreams. + +You perceive that he is a pleasant text for me. It is easy to write +about him. When I arrived in September, lord how black the prospect was +--how desperate, how incurably desperate! Webster and Co had to have a +small sum of money or go under at once. I flew to Hartford--to my +friends--but they were not moved, not strongly interested, and I was +ashamed that I went. It was from Mr. Rogers, a stranger, that I got the +money and was by it saved. And then--while still a stranger--he set +himself the task of saving my financial life without putting upon me (in +his native delicacy) any sense that I was the recipient of a charity, +a benevolence--and he has accomplished that task; accomplished it at a +cost of three months of wearing and difficult labor. He gave that time +to me--time which could not be bought by any man at a hundred thousand +dollars a month--no, nor for three times the money. + +Well, in the midst of that great fight, that long and admirable fight, +George Warner came to me and said: + +"There is a splendid chance open to you. I know a man--a prominent man-- +who has written a book that will go like wildfire; a book that arraigns +the Standard Oil fiends, and gives them unmitigated hell, individual by +individual. It is the very book for you to publish; there is a fortune +in it, and I can put you in communication with the author." + +I wanted to say: + +"The only man I care for in the world; the only man I would give a damn +for; the only man who is lavishing his sweat and blood to save me and +mine from starvation and shame, is a Standard Oil fiend. If you know me, +you know whether I want the book or not." + +But I didn't say that. I said I didn't want any book; I wanted to get +out of the publishing business and out of all business, and was here for +that purpose and would accomplish it if I could. + +But there's enough. I shall be asleep by 3, and I don't need much sleep, +because I am never drowsy or tired these days. Dear, dear Susy my +strength reproaches me when I think of her and you, my darling. + + SAML. + + + But even so able a man as Henry Rogers could not accomplish the + impossible. The affairs of the Webster Company were hopeless, the + business was not worth saving. By Mr. Rogers's advice an assignment + was made April, 18, 1894. After its early spectacular success less + than ten years had brought the business to failure. The publication + of the Grant memoirs had been its only great achievement. + + Clemens would seem to have believed that the business would resume, + and for a time Rogers appears to have comforted him in his hope, but + we cannot believe that it long survived. Young Hall, who had made + such a struggle for its salvation, was eager to go on, but he must + presently have seen the futility of any effort in that direction. + + Of course the failure of Mark Twain's firm made a great stir in the + country, and it is easy to understand that loyal friends would rally + in his behalf. + + + To Mrs. Clemens, in Paris: + + April 22, '94. +Dear old darling, we all think the creditors are going to allow us to +resume business; and if they do we shall pull through and pay the debts. +I am prodigiously glad we made an assignment. And also glad that we did +not make it sooner. Earlier we should have made a poor showing; but now +we shall make a good one. + +I meet flocks of people, and they all shake me cordially by the hand and +say "I was so sorry to hear of the assignment, but so glad you did it. +It was around, this long time, that the concern was tottering, and all +your friends were afraid you would delay the assignment too long." + +John Mackay called yesterday, and said, "Don't let it disturb you, Sam-- +we all have to do it, at one time or another; it's nothing to be ashamed +of." + +One stranger out in New York State sent me a dollar bill and thought he +would like to get up a dollar-subscription for me. And Poultney +Bigelow's note came promptly, with his check for $1,000. I had been +meeting him every day at the Club and liking him better and better all +the time. I couldn't take his money, of course, but I thanked him +cordially for his good will. + +Now and then a good and dear Joe Twichell or Susy Warner condoles with me +and says "Cheer up--don't be downhearted," and some other friend says, +"I am glad and surprised to see how cheerful you are and how bravely you +stand it"--and none of them suspect what a burden has been lifted from me +and how blithe I am inside. Except when I think of you, dear heart--then +I am not blithe; for I seem to see you grieving and ashamed, and dreading +to look people in the face. For in the thick of the fight there is +cheer, but you are far away and cannot hear the drums nor see the +wheeling squadrons. You only seem to see rout, retreat, and dishonored +colors dragging in the dirt--whereas none of these things exist. There +is temporary defeat, but no dishonor--and we will march again. Charley +Warner said to-day, "Sho, Livy isn't worrying. So long as she's got you +and the children she doesn't care what happens. She knows it isn't her +affair." Which didn't convince me. + +Good bye my darling, I love you and all of the kids--and you can tell +Clara I am not a spitting gray kitten. + SAML. + + + Clemens sailed for Europe as soon as his affairs would permit him to + go. He must get settled where he could work comfortably. Type- + setter prospects seemed promising, but meantime there was need of + funds. + + He began writing on the ship, as was his habit, and had completed + his article on Fenimore Cooper by the time he reached London. In + August we find him writing to Mr. Rogers from Etretat, a little + Norman watering-place. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + ETRETAT, (NORMANDIE) + CHALET DES ABRIS + Aug. 25, '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I find the Madam ever so much better in health and +strength. The air is superb and soothing and wholesome, and the Chalet +is remote from noise and people, and just the place to write in. I shall +begin work this afternoon. + +Mrs. Clemens is in great spirits on, account of the benefit which she has +received from the electrical treatment in Paris and is bound to take it +up again and continue it all the winter, and of course I am perfectly +willing. She requires me to drop the lecture platform out of my mind and +go straight ahead with Joan until the book is finished. If I should have +to go home for even a week she means to go with me--won't consent to be +separated again--but she hopes I won't need to go. + +I tell her all right, "I won't go unless you send, and then I must." + +She keeps the accounts; and as she ciphers it we can't get crowded for +money for eight months yet. I didn't know that. But I don't know much +anyway. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The reader may remember that Clemens had written the first half of + his Joan of Arc book at the Villa Viviani, in Florence, nearly two + years before. He had closed the manuscript then with the taking of + Orleans, and was by no means sure that he would continue the story + beyond that point. Now, however, he was determined to reach the + tale's tragic conclusion. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + ETRETAT, + Sunday, Sept. 9, '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS, I drove the quill too hard, and I broke down--in my +head. It has now been three days since I laid up. When I wrote you a +week ago I had added 10,000 words or thereabout to Joan. Next day I +added 1,500 which was a proper enough day's work though not a full one; +but during Tuesday and Wednesday I stacked up an aggregate of 6,000 +words--and that was a very large mistake. My head hasn't been worth a +cent since. + +However, there's a compensation; for in those two days I reached and +passed--successfully--a point which I was solicitous about before I ever +began the book: viz., the battle of Patay. Because that would naturally +be the next to the last chapter of a work consisting of either two books +or one. In the one case one goes right along from that point (as I shall +do now); in the other he would add a wind-up chapter and make the book +consist of Joan's childhood and military career alone. + +I shall resume work to-day; and hereafter I will not go at such an +intemperate' rate. My head is pretty cobwebby yet. + +I am hoping that along about this time I shall hear that the machine is +beginning its test in the Herald office. I shall be very glad indeed to +know the result of it. I wish I could be there. + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Rouen, where Joan met her martyrdom, was only a short distance away, + and they halted there en route to Paris, where they had arranged to + spend the winter. The health of Susy Clemens was not good, and they + lingered in Rouen while Clemens explored the old city and + incidentally did some writing of another sort. In a note to Mr. + Rogers he said: "To put in my odd time I am writing some articles + about Paul Bourget and his Outre-Mer chapters--laughing at them and + at some of our oracular owls who find them important. What the hell + makes them important, I should like to know!" + + He was still at Rouen two weeks later and had received encouraging + news from Rogers concerning the type-setter, which had been placed + for trial in the office of the Chicago Herald. Clemens wrote: "I + can hardly keep from sending a hurrah by cable. I would certainly + do it if I wasn't superstitious." His restraint, though wise, was + wasted the end was near. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + PARIS, Dec. 22; '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I seemed to be entirely expecting your letter, and also +prepared and resigned; but Lord, it shows how little we know ourselves +and how easily we can deceive ourselves. It hit me like a thunder-clap. +It knocked every rag of sense out of my head, and I went flying here and +there and yonder, not knowing what I was doing, and only one clearly +defined thought standing up visible and substantial out of the crazy +storm-drift that my dream of ten years was in desperate peril, and out of +the 60,000 or 90,000 projects for its rescue that came floating through +my skull, not one would hold still long enough for me to examine it and +size it up. Have you ever been like that? Not so much so, I reckon. + +There was another clearly defined idea--I must be there and see it die. +That is, if it must die; and maybe if I were there we might hatch up some +next-to-impossible way to make it take up its bed and take a walk. + +So, at the end of four hours I started, still whirling and walked over to +the rue Scribe--4 P. M.--and asked a question or two and was told I +should be running a big risk if I took the 9 P. M. train for London and +Southampton; "better come right along at 6.52 per Havre special and step +aboard the New York all easy and comfortable." Very! and I about two +miles from home, with no packing done. + +Then it occurred to me that none of these salvation-notions that were +whirl-winding through my head could be examined or made available unless +at least a month's time could be secured. So I cabled you, and said to +myself that I would take the French steamer tomorrow (which will be +Sunday). + +By bedtime Mrs. Clemens had reasoned me into a fairly rational and +contented state of mind; but of course it didn't last long. So I went on +thinking--mixing it with a smoke in the dressing room once an hour--until +dawn this morning. Result--a sane resolution; no matter what your answer +to my cable might be, I would hold still and not sail until I should get +an answer to this present letter which I am now writing, or a cable +answer from you saying "Come" or "Remain." + +I have slept 6 hours, my pond has clarified, and I find the sediment of +my 70,000 projects to be of this character: + +[Several pages of suggestions for reconstructing the machine follow.] + +Don't say I'm wild. For really I'm sane again this morning. + + ...................... + +I am going right along with Joan, now, and wait untroubled till I hear +from you. If you think I can be of the least use, cable me "Come." +I can write Joan on board ship and lose no time. Also I could discuss my +plan with the publisher for a deluxe Joan, time being an object, for some +of the pictures could be made over here cheaply and quickly, but would +cost much time and money in America. + + ...................... + +If the meeting should decide to quit business Jan. 4, I'd like to have +Stoker stopped from paying in any more money, if Miss Harrison doesn't +mind that disagreeable job. And I'll have to write them, too, of course. + With love, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The "Stoker" of this letter was Bram Stoker, long associated with + Sir Henry Irving. Irving himself had also taken stock in the + machine. The address, 169 Rue de l'Universite, whence these letters + are written, was the beautiful studio home of the artist Pomroy + which they had taken for the winter. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + PARIS, Dec. 27, '94. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--Notwithstanding your heart is "old and hard," you make +a body choke up. I know you "mean every word you say" and I do take it +"in the same spirit in which you tender it." I shall keep your regard +while we two live--that I know; for I shall always remember what you have +done for me, and that will insure me against ever doing anything that +could forfeit it or impair it. I am 59 years old; yet I never had a +friend before who put out a hand and tried to pull me ashore when he +found me in deep waters. + +It is six days or seven days ago that I lived through that despairing +day, and then through a night without sleep; then settled down next day +into my right mind (or thereabouts,) and wrote you. I put in the rest of +that day till 7 P. M. plenty comfortably enough writing a long chapter +of my book; then went to a masked ball blacked up as Uncle Remus, taking +Clara along; and we had a good time. I have lost no day since and +suffered no discomfort to speak of, but drove my troubles out of my mind +and had good success in keeping them out--through watchfulness. I have +done a good week's work and put the book a good way ahead in the Great +Trial, which is the difficult part which requires the most thought and +carefulness. I cannot see the end of the Trial yet, but I am on the +road. I am creeping surely toward it. + +"Why not leave them all to me." My business bothers? I take you by the +hand! I jump at the chance! + +I ought to be ashamed and I am trying my best to be ashamed--and yet I do +jump at the chance in spite of it. I don't want to write Irving and I +don't want to write Stoker. It doesn't seem as if I could. But I can +suggest something for you to write them; and then if you see that I am +unwise, you can write them something quite different. Now this is my +idea: + + 1. To return Stoker's $100 to him and keep his stock. + + 2. And tell Irving that when luck turns with me I will make good to + him what the salvage from the dead Co. fails to pay him of his $500. + + +P. S. Madam says No, I must face the music. So I enclose my effort to +be used if you approve, but not otherwise. + +There! Now if you will alter it to suit your judgment and bang away, I +shall be eternally obliged. + +We shall try to find a tenant for our Hartford house; not an easy matter, +for it costs heavily to live in. We can never live in it again; though +it would break the family's hearts if they could believe it. + +Nothing daunts Mrs. Clemens or makes the world look black to her--which +is the reason I haven't drowned myself. + +We all send our deepest and warmest greetings to you and all of yours and +a Happy New Year! + S. L. CLEMENS. + + +Enclosure: + +MY DEAR STOKER,--I am not dating this because it is not to be mailed at +present. + +When it reaches you it will mean that there is a hitch in my machine- +enterprise--a hitch so serious as to make it take to itself the aspect of +a dissolved dream. This letter, then, will contain cheque for the $100 +which you have paid. And will you tell Irving for me--I can't get up +courage enough to talk about this misfortune myself, except to you, whom +by good luck I haven't damaged yet that when the wreckage presently +floats ashore he will get a good deal of his $500 back; and a dab at a +time I will make up to him the rest. + +I'm not feeling as fine as I was when I saw you there in your home. +Please remember me kindly to Mrs. Stoker. I gave up that London lecture- +project entirely. Had to--there's never been a chance since to find the +time. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XXXV + +LETTERS, 1895-96, TO H. H. ROGERS AND OTHERS. FINISHING "JOAN OF ARC." +THE TRIP AROUND THE WORLD. DEATH OF SUSY CLEMENS + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + [No date.] +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--Yours of Dec. 21 has arrived, containing the circular +to stockholders and I guess the Co. will really quit--there doesn't seem +to be any other wise course. + +There's one thing which makes it difficult for me to soberly realize that +my ten year dream is actually dissolved; and that is, that it reveries my +horoscope. The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very +superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for +one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or +in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times +before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise. +When the "Pennsylvania" blew up and the telegraph reported my brother as +fatally injured (with 60 others) but made no mention of me, my uncle said +to my mother "It means that Sam was somewhere else, after being on that +boat a year and a half--he was born lucky." Yes, I was somewhere else. +I am so superstitious that I have always been afraid to have business +dealings with certain relatives and friends of mine because they were +unlucky people. All my life I have stumbled upon lucky chances of large +size, and whenever they were wasted it was because of my own stupidity +and carelessness. And so I have felt entirely certain that that machine +would turn up trumps eventually. It disappointed me lots of times, but I +couldn't shake off the confidence of a life-time in my luck. + +Well, whatever I get out of the wreckage will be due to good luck--the +good luck of getting you into the scheme--for, but for that, there +wouldn't be any wreckage; it would be total loss. + +I wish you had been in at the beginning. Then we should have had the +good luck to step promptly ashore. + +Miss Harrison has had a dream which promises me a large bank account, +and I want her to go ahead and dream it twice more, so as to make the +prediction sure to be fulfilled. + +I've got a first rate subject for a book. It kept me awake all night, +and I began it and completed it in my mind. The minute I finish Joan +I will take it up. + Love and Happy New Year to you all. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + This was about the end of the machine interests so far as Clemens + was concerned. Paige succeeded in getting some new people + interested, but nothing important happened, or that in any way + affected Mark Twain. Characteristically he put the whole matter + behind him and plunged into his work, facing comparative poverty and + a burden of debts with a stout heart. The beginning of the new year + found him really poorer in purse than he had ever been in his life, + but certainly not crushed, or even discouraged--at least, not + permanently--and never more industrious or capable. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + PARIS, Jan. 23, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--After I wrote you, two or three days ago I thought I +would make a holiday of the rest of the day--the second deliberate +holiday since I had the gout. On the first holiday I wrote a tale of +about 6,000 words, which was 3 days' work in one; and this time I did +8,000 before midnight. I got nothing out of that first holiday but the +recreation of it, for I condemned the work after careful reading and some +revision; but this time I fared better--I finished the Huck Finn tale +that lies in your safe, and am satisfied with it. + +The Bacheller syndicate (117 Tribune Building) want a story of 5,000 +words (lowest limit of their London agent) for $1,000 and offer to plank +the check on delivery, and it was partly to meet that demand that I took +that other holiday. So as I have no short story that suits me (and can't +and shan't make promises), the best I can do is to offer the longer one +which I finished on my second holiday--"Tom Sawyer, Detective." + +It makes 27 or 28,000 words, and is really written for grown folks, +though I expect young folk to read it, too. It transfers to the banks of +the Mississippi the incidents of a strange murder which was committed in +Sweden in old times. + +I'll refer applicants for a sight of the story to you or Miss Harrison.-- +[Secretary to Mr. Rogers.] + Yours sincerely, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + Apr. 29, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--Your felicitous delightful letter of the 15th arrived +three days ago, and brought great pleasure into the house. + +There is one thing that weighs heavily on Mrs. Clemens and me. That is +Brusnahan's money. If he is satisfied to have it invested in the Chicago +enterprise, well and good; if not, we would like to have the money paid +back to him. I will give him as many months to decide in as he pleases-- +let him name 6 or 10 or 12--and we will let the money stay where it is in +your hands till the time is up. Will Miss Harrison tell him so? I mean +if you approve. I would like him to have a good investment, but would +meantime prefer to protect him against loss. + +At 6 minutes past 7, yesterday evening, Joan of Arc was burned at the +stake. + +With the long strain gone, I am in a sort of physical collapse today, but +it will be gone tomorrow. I judged that this end of the book would be +hard work, and it turned out so. I have never done any work before that +cost so much thinking and weighing and measuring and planning and +cramming, or so much cautious and painstaking execution. For I wanted +the whole Rouen trial in, if it could be got in in such a way that the +reader's interest would not flag--in fact I wanted the reader's interest +to increase; and so I stuck to it with that determination in view--with +the result that I have left nothing out but unimportant repetitions. +Although it is mere history--history pure and simple--history stripped +naked of flowers, embroideries, colorings, exaggerations, invention--the +family agree that I have succeeded. It was a perilous thing to try in a +tale, but I never believed it a doubtful one--provided I stuck strictly +to business and didn't weaken and give up: or didn't get lazy and skimp +the work. The first two-thirds of the book were easy; for I only needed +to keep my historical road straight; therefore I used for reference only +one French history and one English one--and shoveled in as much fancy +work and invention on both sides of the historical road as I pleased. +But on this last third I have constantly used five French sources and +five English ones and I think no telling historical nugget in any of them +has escaped me. + +Possibly the book may not sell, but that is nothing--it was written for +love. + +There--I'm called to see company. The family seldom require this of me, +but they know I am not working today. + Yours sincerely, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + "Brusnahan," of the foregoing letter, was an employee of the New + York Herald, superintendent of the press-room--who had invested some + of his savings in the type-setter. + + In February Clemens returned to New York to look after matters + connected with his failure and to close arrangements for a reading- + tour around the world. He was nearly sixty years old, and time had + not lessened his loathing for the platform. More than once, + however, in earlier years, he had turned to it as a debt-payer, and + never yet had his burden been so great as now. He concluded + arrangements with Major Pond to take him as far as the Pacific + Coast, and with R. S. Smythe, of Australia, for the rest of the + tour. In April we find him once more back in Paris preparing to + bring the family to America, He had returned by way of London, + where he had visited Stanley the explorer--an old friend. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, + Sunday, Apr.7,'95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--..... Stanley is magnificently housed in London, in a +grand mansion in the midst of the official world, right off Downing +Street and Whitehall. He had an extraordinary assemblage of brains and +fame there to meet me--thirty or forty (both sexes) at dinner, and more +than a hundred came in, after dinner. Kept it up till after midnight. +There were cabinet ministers, ambassadors, admirals, generals, canons, +Oxford professors, novelists, playwrights, poets, and a number of people +equipped with rank and brains. I told some yarns and made some speeches. +I promised to call on all those people next time I come to London, and +show them the wife and the daughters. If I were younger and very strong +I would dearly love to spend a season in London--provided I had no work +on hand, or no work more exacting than lecturing. I think I will lecture +there a month or two when I return from Australia. + +There were many delightful ladies in that company. One was the wife of +His Excellency Admiral Bridge, Commander-in Chief of the Australian +Station, and she said her husband was able to throw wide all doors to me +in that part of the world and would be glad to do it, and would yacht me +and my party around, and excursion us in his flag-ship and make us have a +great time; and she said she would write him we were coming, and we would +find him ready. I have a letter from her this morning enclosing a letter +of introduction to the Admiral. I already know the Admiral commanding in +the China Seas and have promised to look in on him out there. He sleeps +with my books under his pillow. P'raps it is the only way he can sleep. + +According to Mrs. Clemens's present plans--subject to modification, of +course--we sail in May; stay one day, or two days in New York, spend +June, July and August in Elmira and prepare my lectures; then lecture in +San Francisco and thereabouts during September and sail for Australia +before the middle of October and open the show there about the middle of +November. We don't take the girls along; it would be too expensive and +they are quite willing to remain behind anyway. + +Mrs. C. is feeling so well that she is not going to try the New York +doctor till we have gone around the world and robbed it and made the +finances a little easier. + With a power of love to you all, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + There would come moments of depression, of course, and a week later + he wrote: "I am tired to death all the time:" To a man of less + vitality, less vigor of mind and body, it is easy to believe that + under such circumstances this condition would have remained + permanent. But perhaps, after all, it was his comic outlook on + things in general that was his chief life-saver. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + 169 RUE DE L'UNIVERSITE, Apr. 29, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I have been hidden an hour or two, reading proof of +Joan and now I think I am a lost child. I can't find anybody on the +place. The baggage has all disappeared, including the family. I reckon +that in the hurry and bustle of moving to the hotel they forgot me. But +it is no matter. It is peacefuller now than I have known it for days and +days and days. + +In these Joan proofs which I have been reading for the September Harper +I find a couple of tip-top platform readings--and I mean to read them on +our trip. If the authorship is known by then; and if it isn't, I will +reveal it. The fact is, there is more good platform-stuff in Joan than +in any previous book of mine, by a long sight. + +Yes, every danged member of the tribe has gone to the hotel and left me +lost. I wonder how they can be so careless with property. I have got to +try to get there by myself now. + +All the trunks are going over as luggage; then I've got to find somebody +on the dock who will agree to ship 6 of them to the Hartford Customhouse. +If it is difficult I will dump them into the river. It is very careless +of Mrs. Clemens to trust trunks and things to me. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + By the latter part of May they were at Quarry Farm, and Clemens, + laid up there with a carbuncle, was preparing for his long tour. + The outlook was not a pleasant one. To Mr. Rogers he wrote: "I + sha'n't be able to stand on the platform before we start west. I + sha'n't get a single chance to practice my reading; but will have to + appear in Cleveland without the essential preparation. Nothing in + this world can save it from being a shabby, poor disgusting + performance. I've got to stand; I can't do it and talk to a house, + and how in the nation am I going to sit? Land of Goshen, it's this + night week! Pray for me." + + The opening at Cleveland July 15th appears not to have been much of + a success, though from another reason, one that doubtless seemed + amusing to him later. + + + To H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + + (Forenoon) + CLEVELAND, July 16, '95. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--Had a roaring success at the Elmira reformatory Sunday +night. But here, last night, I suffered defeat--There were a couple of +hundred little boys behind me on the stage, on a lofty tier of benches +which made them the most conspicuous objects in the house. And there was +nobody to watch them or keep them quiet. Why, with their scufflings and +horse-play and noise, it was just a menagerie. Besides, a concert of +amateurs had been smuggled into the program (to precede me,) and their +families and friends (say ten per cent of the audience) kept encoring +them and they always responded. So it was 20 minutes to 9 before I got +the platform in front of those 2,600 people who had paid a dollar apiece +for a chance to go to hell in this fashion. + +I got started magnificently, but inside of half an hour the scuffling +boys had the audience's maddened attention and I saw it was a gone case; +so I skipped a third of my program and quit. The newspapers are kind, +but between you and me it was a defeat. There ain't going to be any more +concerts at my lectures. I care nothing for this defeat, because it was +not my fault. My first half hour showed that I had the house, and I +could have kept it if I hadn't been so handicapped. + Yours sincerely, + S. L. CLEMENS. + +P. S. Had a satisfactory time at Petoskey. Crammed the house and turned +away a crowd. We had $548 in the house, which was $300 more than it had +ever had in it before. I believe I don't care to have a talk go off +better than that one did. + + + Mark Twain, on this long tour, was accompanied by his wife and his + daughter Clara--Susy and Jean Clemens remaining with their aunt at + Quarry Farm. The tour was a financial success from the start. + By the time they were ready to sail from Vancouver five thousand + dollars had been remitted to Mr. Rogers against that day of + settlement when the debts of Webster & Co. were to be paid. Perhaps + it should be stated here that a legal settlement had been arranged + on a basis of fifty cents on the dollar, but neither Clemens nor his + wife consented to this as final. They would pay in full. + + They sailed from Vancouver August 23, 1895. About the only letter + of this time is an amusing note to Rudyard Kipling, written at the + moment of departure. + + + To Rudyard Kipling, in England: + + August, 1895. +DEAR KIPLING,--It is reported that you are about to visit India. This +has moved me to journey to that far country in order that I may unload +from my conscience a debt long due to you. Years ago you came from India +to Elmira to visit me, as you said at the time. It has always been my +purpose to return that visit and that great compliment some day. I shall +arrive next January and you must be ready. I shall come riding my ayah +with his tusks adorned with silver bells and ribbons and escorted by a +troop of native howdahs richly clad and mounted upon a herd of wild +bungalows; and you must be on hand with a few bottles of ghee, for I +shall be thirsty. + Affectionately, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens, platforming in Australia, was too busy to write letters. + Everywhere he was welcomed by great audiences, and everywhere + lavishly entertained. He was beset by other carbuncles, but would + seem not to have been seriously delayed by them. A letter to his + old friend Twichell carries the story. + + + To Rev. Jos. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + FRANK MOELLER'S MASONIC HOTEL, + NAPIER, NEW ZEALAND, + November 29, '95. +DEAR JOE,--Your welcome letter of two months and five days ago has just +arrived, and finds me in bed with another carbuncle. It is No. 3. Not a +serious one this time. I lectured last night without inconvenience, but +the doctors thought best to forbid to-night's lecture. My second one +kept me in bed a week in Melbourne. + +.....We are all glad it is you who is to write the article, it delights +us all through. + +I think it was a good stroke of luck that knocked me on my back here at +Napier, instead of some hotel in the centre of a noisy city. Here we +have the smooth and placidly-complaining sea at our door, with nothing +between us and it but 20 yards of shingle--and hardly a suggestion of +life in that space to mar it or make a noise. Away down here fifty-five +degrees south of the Equator this sea seems to murmur in an unfamiliar +tongue--a foreign tongue--tongue bred among the ice-fields of the +Antarctic--a murmur with a note of melancholy in it proper to the vast +unvisited solitudes it has come from. It was very delicious and solacing +to wake in the night and find it still pulsing there. I wish you were +here--land, but it would be fine! + +Livy and Clara enjoy this nomadic life pretty well; certainly better than +one could have expected they would. They have tough experiences, in the +way of food and beds and frantic little ships, but they put up with the +worst that befalls with heroic endurance that resembles contentment. + +No doubt I shall be on the platform next Monday. A week later we shall +reach Wellington; talk there 3 nights, then sail back to Australia. We +sailed for New Zealand October 30. + +Day before yesterday was Livy's birthday (under world time), and tomorrow +will be mine. I shall be 60--no thanks for it. + +I and the others send worlds and worlds of love to all you dear ones. + + MARK. + + + The article mentioned in the foregoing letter was one which Twichell + had been engaged by Harper's Magazine to write concerning the home + life and characteristics of Mark Twain. By the time the Clemens + party had completed their tour of India--a splendid, triumphant + tour, too full of work and recreation for letter-writing--and had + reached South Africa, the article had appeared, a satisfactory one, + if we may judge by Mark Twain's next. + + This letter, however, has a special interest in the account it gives + of Mark Twain's visit to the Jameson raiders, then imprisoned at + Pretoria. + + + To Rev. Jos. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + PRETORIA, SOUTH AFRICAN REPUBLIC, + The Queen's Birthday, '96. + (May 24) +DEAR OLD JOE,--Harper for May was given to me yesterday in Johannesburg +by an American lady who lives there, and I read your article on me while +coming up in the train with her and an old friend and fellow-Missourian +of mine, Mrs. John Hays Hammond, the handsome and spirited wife of the +chief of the 4 Reformers, who lies in prison here under a 15-year +sentence, along with 50 minor Reformers who are in for 1 and 5-year +terms. Thank you a thousand times Joe, you have praised me away above my +deserts, but I am not the man to quarrel with you for that; and as for +Livy, she will take your very hardiest statements at par, and be grateful +to you to the bottom of her heart. Between you and Punch and Brander +Matthews, I am like to have my opinion of myself raised sufficiently +high; and I guess the children will be after you, for it is the study of +their lives to keep my self-appreciation down somewhere within bounds. + +I had a note from Mrs. Rev. Gray (nee Tyler) yesterday, and called on her +to-day. She is well. + +Yesterday I was allowed to enter the prison with Mrs. Hammond. A Boer +guard was at my elbow all the time, but was courteous and polite, only +he barred the way in the compound (quadrangle or big open court) and +wouldn't let me cross a white mark that was on the ground--the "death- +line" one of the prisoners called it. Not in earnest, though, I think. +I found that I had met Hammond once when he was a Yale senior and a guest +of Gen. Franklin's. I also found that I had known Capt. Mein intimately +32 years ago. One of the English prisoners had heard me lecture in +London 23 years ago. After being introduced in turn to all the +prisoners, I was allowed to see some of the cells and examine their food, +beds, etc. I was told in Johannesburg that Hammond's salary of $150,000 +a year is not stopped, and that the salaries of some of the others are +still continued. Hammond was looking very well indeed, and I can say the +same of all the others. When the trouble first fell upon them it hit +some of them very hard; several fell sick (Hammond among them), two or +three had to be removed to the hospital, and one of the favorites lost +his mind and killed himself, poor fellow, last week. His funeral, with a +sorrowing following of 10,000, took the place of the public demonstration +the Americans were getting up for me. + +These prisoners are strong men, prominent men, and I believe they are all +educated men. They are well off; some of them are wealthy. They have a +lot of books to read, they play games and smoke, and for awhile they will +be able to bear up in their captivity; but not for long, not for very +long, I take it. I am told they have times of deadly brooding and +depression. I made them a speech--sitting down. It just happened so. +I don't prefer that attitude. Still, it has one advantage--it is only a +talk, it doesn't take the form of a speech. I have tried it once before +on this trip. However, if a body wants to make sure of having "liberty," +and feeling at home, he had better stand up, of course. I advised them +at considerable length to stay where they were--they would get used to it +and like it presently; if they got out they would only get in again +somewhere else, by the look of their countenances; and I promised to go +and see the President and do what I could to get him to double their +jail-terms. + +We had a very good sociable time till the permitted time was up and a +little over, and we outsiders had to go. I went again to-day, but the +Rev. Mr. Gray had just arrived, and the warden, a genial, elderly Boer +named Du Plessis--explained that his orders wouldn't allow him to admit +saint and sinner at the same time, particularly on a Sunday. Du Plessis +--descended from the Huguenot fugitives, you see, of 200 years ago-- +but he hasn't any French left in him now--all Dutch. + +It gravels me to think what a goose I was to make Livy and Clara remain +in Durban; but I wanted to save them the 30-hour railway trip to +Johannesburg. And Durban and its climate and opulent foliage were so +lovely, and the friends there were so choice and so hearty that I +sacrificed myself in their interests, as I thought. It is just the +beginning of winter, and although the days are hot, the nights are cool. +But it's lovely weather in these regions, too; and the friends are as +lovely as the weather, and Johannesburg and Pretoria are brimming with +interest. I talk here twice more, then return to Johannesburg next +Wednesday for a fifth talk there; then to the Orange Free State capital, +then to some town on the way to Port Elizabeth, where the two will join +us by sea from Durban; then the gang will go to Kimberley and presently +to the Cape--and so, in the course of time, we shall get through and sail +for England; and then we will hunt up a quiet village and I will write +and Livy edit, for a few months, while Clara and Susy and Jean study +music and things in London. + +We have had noble good times everywhere and every day, from Cleveland, +July 15, to Pretoria, May 24, and never a dull day either on sea or land, +notwithstanding the carbuncles and things. Even when I was laid up 10 +days at Jeypore in India we had the charmingest times with English +friends. All over India the English well, you will never know how good +and fine they are till you see them. + +Midnight and after! and I must do many things to-day, and lecture +tonight. + +A world of thanks to you, Joe dear, and a world of love to all of you. + + MARK. + + + Perhaps for readers of a later day a word as to what constituted the + Jameson raid would not be out of place here. Dr. Leander Starr + Jameson was an English physician, located at Kimberley. President + Kruger (Oom Paul), head of the South African Republic, was one of + his patients; also, Lobengula, the Matabele chief. From Lobengula + concessions were obtained which led to the formation of the South + African Company. Jameson gave up his profession and went in for + conquest, associating himself with the projects of Cecil Rhodes. + In time he became administrator of Rhodesia. By the end of 1894. + he was in high feather, and during a visit to England was feted as + a sort of romantic conqueror of the olden time. Perhaps this turned + his head; at all events at the end of 1895 came the startling news + that "Dr. Jim," as he was called, at the head of six hundred men, + had ridden into the Transvaal in support of a Rhodes scheme for an + uprising at Johannesburg. The raid was a failure. Jameson, and + those other knights of adventure, were captured by the forces of + "Oom Paul," and some of them barely escaped execution. The Boer + president handed them over to the English Government for punishment, + and they received varying sentences, but all were eventually + released. Jameson, later, became again prominent in South-African + politics, but there is no record of any further raids. + + ......................... + + The Clemens party sailed from South Africa the middle of July, 1896, + and on the last day of the month reached England. They had not + planned to return to America, but to spend the winter in or near + London in some quiet place where Clemens could write the book of his + travels. + + The two daughters in America, Susy and Jean, were expected to arrive + August 12th, but on that day there came, instead, a letter saying + that Susy Clemens was not well enough to sail. A cable inquiry was + immediately sent, but the reply when it came was not satisfactory, + and Mrs. Clemens and Clara sailed for America without further delay. + This was on August 15th. Three days later, in the old home at + Hartford, Susy Clemens died of cerebral fever. She had been + visiting Mrs. Charles Dudley Warner, but by the physician's advice + had been removed to the comfort and quiet of her own home, only a + few steps away. + + Mark Twain, returning from his triumphant tour of the world in the + hope that soon, now, he might be free from debt, with his family + happily gathered about him, had to face alone this cruel blow. + There was no purpose in his going to America; Susy would be buried + long before his arrival. He awaited in England the return of his + broken family. They lived that winter in a quiet corner of Chelsea, + No. 23 Tedworth Square. + + + To Rev. Joseph H. Twichell, in Hartford, Conn.: + + Permanent address: + % CHATTO & WINDUS + 111 T. MARTIN'S LANE, LONDON, + Sept. 27, '96. +Through Livy and Katy I have learned, dear old Joe, how loyally you stood +poor Susy's friend, and mine, and Livy's: how you came all the way down, +twice, from your summer refuge on your merciful errands to bring the +peace and comfort of your beloved presence, first to that poor child, and +again to the broken heart of her poor desolate mother. It was like you; +like your good great heart, like your matchless and unmatchable self. +It was no surprise to me to learn that you stayed by Susy long hours, +careless of fatigue and heat, it was no surprise to me to learn that you +could still the storms that swept her spirit when no other could; for she +loved you, revered you, trusted you, and "Uncle Joe" was no empty phrase +upon her lips! I am grateful to you, Joe, grateful to the bottom of my +heart, which has always been filled with love for you, and respect and +admiration; and I would have chosen you out of all the world to take my +place at Susy's side and Livy's in those black hours. + +Susy was a rare creature; the rarest that has been reared in Hartford in +this generation. And Livy knew it, and you knew it, and Charley Warner +and George, and Harmony, and the Hillyers and the Dunhams and the +Cheneys, and Susy and Lilly, and the Bunces, and Henry Robinson and Dick +Burton, and perhaps others. And I also was of the number, but not in the +same degree--for she was above my duller comprehension. I merely knew +that she was my superior in fineness of mind, in the delicacy and +subtlety of her intellect, but to fully measure her I was not competent. +I know her better now; for I have read her private writings and sounded +the deeps of her mind; and I know better, now, the treasure that was mine +than I knew it when I had it. But I have this consolation: that dull as +I was, I always knew enough to be proud when she commended me or my work +--as proud as if Livy had done it herself--and I took it as the accolade +from the hand of genius. I see now--as Livy always saw--that she had +greatness in her; and that she herself was dimly conscious of it. + +And now she is dead--and I can never tell her. + +God bless you Joe--and all of your house. + S. L. C. + + + To Mr. Henry C. Robinson, Hartford, Conn.: + + LONDON, Sept. 28, '96. +It is as you say, dear old friend, "the pathos of it" yes, it was a +piteous thing--as piteous a tragedy as any the year can furnish. When we +started westward upon our long trip at half past ten at night, July 14, +1895, at Elmira, Susy stood on the platform in the blaze of the electric +light waving her good-byes to us as the train glided away, her mother +throwing back kisses and watching her through her tears. One year, one +month, and one week later, Clara and her mother having exactly completed +the circuit of the globe, drew up at that platform at the same hour of +the night, in the same train and the same car--and again Susy had come a +journey and was near at hand to meet them. She was waiting in the house +she was born in, in her coffin. + +All the circumstances of this death were pathetic--my brain is worn to +rags rehearsing them. The mere death would have been cruelty enough, +without overloading it and emphasizing it with that score of harsh and +wanton details. The child was taken away when her mother was within +three days of her, and would have given three decades for sight of her. + +In my despair and unassuageable misery I upbraid myself for ever parting +with her. But there is no use in that. Since it was to happen it would +have happened. + With love + S. L. C. + + + The life at Tedworth Square that winter was one of almost complete + privacy. Of the hundreds of friends which Mark Twain had in London + scarcely half a dozen knew his address. He worked steadily on his + book of travels, 'Following the Equator', and wrote few letters + beyond business communications to Mr. Rogers. In one of these he + said, "I am appalled! Here I am trying to load you up with work + again after you have been dray-horsing over the same tiresome ground + for a year. It's too bad, and I am ashamed of it." + + But late in November he sent a letter of a different sort--one that + was to have an important bearing on the life of a girl today of + unique and world-wide distinction. + + + To Mrs. H. H. Rogers, in New York City: + +For and in behalf of Helen Keller, +stone blind and deaf, and formerly dumb. + +DEAR MRS. ROGERS,--Experience has convinced me that when one wishes to +set a hard-worked man at something which he mightn't prefer to be +bothered with, it is best to move upon him behind his wife. If she can't +convince him it isn't worth while for other people to try. + +Mr. Rogers will remember our visit with that astonishing girl at Lawrence +Hutton's house when she was fourteen years old. Last July, in Boston, +when she was 16 she underwent the Harvard examination for admission to +Radcliffe College. She passed without a single condition. She was +allowed the same amount of time that is granted to other applicants, and +this was shortened in her case by the fact that the question papers had +to be read to her. Yet she scored an average of 90 as against an average +of 78 on the part of the other applicants. + +It won't do for America to allow this marvelous child to retire from her +studies because of poverty. If she can go on with them she will make a +fame that will endure in history for centuries. Along her special lines +she is the most extraordinary product of all the ages. + +There is danger that she must retire from the struggle for a College +degree for lack of support for herself and for Miss Sullivan, (the +teacher who has been with her from the start--Mr. Rogers will remember +her.) Mrs. Hutton writes to ask me to interest rich Englishmen in her +case, and I would gladly try, but my secluded life will not permit it. +I see nobody. Nobody knows my address. Nothing but the strictest hiding +can enable me to write my long book in time. + +So I thought of this scheme: Beg you to lay siege to your husband and get +him to interest himself and Mess. John D. and William Rockefeller and the +other Standard Oil chiefs in Helen's case; get them to subscribe an +annual aggregate of six or seven hundred or a thousand dollars--and agree +to continue this for three or four years, until she has completed her +college course. I'm not trying to limit their generosity--indeed no, +they may pile that Standard Oil, Helen Keller College Fund as high as +they please, they have my consent. + +Mrs. Hutton's idea is to raise a permanent fund the interest upon which +shall support Helen and her teacher and put them out of the fear of want. +I shan't say a word against it, but she will find it a difficult and +disheartening job, and meanwhile what is to become of that miraculous +girl? + +No, for immediate and sound effectiveness, the thing is for you to plead +with Mr. Rogers for this hampered wonder of your sex, and send him +clothed with plenary powers to plead with the other chiefs--they have +spent mountains of money upon the worthiest benevolences, and I think +that the same spirit which moved them to put their hands down through +their hearts into their pockets in those cases will answer "Here!" when +its name is called in this one. 638 + +There--I don't need to apologize to you or to H. H. for this appeal that +I am making; I know you too well for that. + +Good-bye with love to all of you + S. L. CLEMENS. + +Laurence Hutton is on the staff of Harper's Monthly--close by, and handy +when wanted. + + + The plea was not made in vain. Mr. and Mrs. Rogers interested + themselves most liberally in Helen Keller's fortune, and certainly + no one can say that any of those who contributed to her success ever + had reason for disappointment. + + In his letter of grateful acknowledgment, which follows, Clemens + also takes occasion to thank Mr. Rogers for his further efforts in + the matter of his own difficulties. This particular reference + concerns the publishing, complications which by this time had arisen + between the American Publishing Company, of Hartford, and the house + in Franklin Square. + + + LONDON, Dec. 22, '96. +DEAR MRS. ROGERS,--It is superb! And I am beyond measure grateful to you +both. I knew you would be interested in that wonderful girl, and that +Mr. Rogers was already interested in her and touched by her; and I was +sure that if nobody else helped her you two would; but you have gone far +and away beyond the sum I expected--may your lines fall in pleasant +places here and Hereafter for it! + +The Huttons are as glad and grateful as they can be, and I am glad for +their sakes as well as for Helen's. + +I want to thank Mr. Rogers for crucifying himself again on the same old +cross between Bliss and Harper; and goodness knows I hope he will come to +enjoy it above all other dissipations yet, seeing that it has about it +the elements of stability and permanency. However, at any time that he +says sign, we're going to do it. + Ever sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + +XXXVI + +LETTERS 1897. LONDON, SWITZERLAND, VIENNA + +Mark Twain worked steadily on his book that sad winter and managed to +keep the gloom out of his chapters, though it is noticeable that +'Following the Equator' is more serious than his other books of travel. +He wrote few letters, and these only to his three closest friends, +Howells, Twichell, and Rogers. In the letter to Twichell, which follows, +there is mention of two unfinished manuscripts which he expects to +resume. One of these was a dream story, enthusiastically begun, but +perhaps with insufficient plot to carry it through, for it never reached +conclusion. He had already tried it in one or two forms and would begin +it again presently. The identity of the other tale is uncertain. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LONDON, Jan. 19, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Do I want you to write to me? Indeed I do. I do not want +most people to write, but I do want you to do it. The others break my +heart, but you will not. You have a something divine in you that is not +in other men. You have the touch that heals, not lacerates. And you +know the secret places of our hearts. You know our life--the outside of +it--as the others do--and the inside of it--which they do not. You have +seen our whole voyage. You have seen us go to sea, a cloud of sail--and +the flag at the peak; and you see us now, chartless, adrift--derelicts; +battered, water-logged, our sails a ruck of rags, our pride gone. For it +is gone. And there is nothing in its place. The vanity of life was all +we had, and there is no more vanity left in us. We are even ashamed of +that we had; ashamed that we trusted the promises of life and builded +high--to come to this! + +I did know that Susy was part of us; I did not know that she could go +away; I did not know that she could go away, and take our lives with her, +yet leave our dull bodies behind. And I did not know what she was. To +me she was but treasure in the bank; the amount known, the need to look +at it daily, handle it, weigh it, count it, realize it, not necessary; +and now that I would do it, it is too late; they tell me it is not there, +has vanished away in a night, the bank is broken, my fortune is gone, I +am a pauper. How am I to comprehend this? How am I to have it? Why am +I robbed, and who is benefited? + +Ah, well, Susy died at home. She had that privilege. Her dying eyes +rested upon nothing that was strange to them, but only upon things which +they had known and loved always and which had made her young years glad; +and she had you, and Sue, and Katy, and John, and Ellen. This was happy +fortune--I am thankful that it was vouchsafed to her. If she had died in +another house-well, I think I could not have borne that. To us, our +house was not unsentient matter--it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to +see us with; and approvals, and solicitudes, and deep sympathies; it was +of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the +peace of its benediction. We never came home from an absence that its +face did not light up and speak out its eloquent welcome--and we could +not enter it unmoved. And could we now, oh, now, in spirit we should +enter it unshod. + +I am trying to add to the "assets" which you estimate so generously. +No, I am not. The thought is not in my mind. My purpose is other. I am +working, but it is for the sake of the work--the "surcease of sorrow" +that is found there. I work all the days, and trouble vanishes away when +I use that magic. This book will not long stand between it and me, now; +but that is no matter, I have many unwritten books to fly to for my +preservation; the interval between the finishing of this one and the +beginning of the next will not be more than an hour, at most. +Continuances, I mean; for two of them are already well along--in fact +have reached exactly the same stage in their journey: 19,000 words each. +The present one will contain 180,000 words--130,000 are done. I am well +protected; but Livy! She has nothing in the world to turn to; nothing +but housekeeping, and doing things for the children and me. She does not +see people, and cannot; books have lost their interest for her. She sits +solitary; and all the day, and all the days, wonders how it all happened, +and why. We others were always busy with our affairs, but Susy was her +comrade--had to be driven from her loving persecutions--sometimes at 1 in +the morning. To Livy the persecutions were welcome. It was heaven to +her to be plagued like that. But it is ended now. Livy stands so in +need of help; and none among us all could help her like you. + +Some day you and I will walk again, Joe, and talk. I hope so. We could +have such talks! We are all grateful to you and Harmony--how grateful it +is not given to us to say in words. We pay as we can, in love; and in +this coin practicing no economy. + Good bye, dear old Joe! + MARK. + + + The letters to Mr. Rogers were, for the most part, on matters of + business, but in one of them he said: "I am going to write with all + my might on this book, and follow it up with others as fast as I can + in the hope that within three years I can clear out the stuff that + is in me waiting to be written, and that I shall then die in the + promptest kind of a way and no fooling around." And in one he + wrote: "You are the best friend ever a man had, and the surest." + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York + + LONDON, Feb. 23, '97. +DEAR HOWELLS,-I find your generous article in the Weekly, and I want to +thank you for its splendid praises, so daringly uttered and so warmly. +The words stir the dead heart of me, and throw a glow of color into a +life which sometimes seems to have grown wholly wan. I don't mean that I +am miserable; no--worse than that--indifferent. Indifferent to nearly +everything but work. I like that; I enjoy it, and stick to it. I do it +without purpose and without ambition; merely for the love of it. + +This mood will pass, some day--there is history for it. But it cannot +pass until my wife comes up out of the submergence. She was always so +quick to recover herself before, but now there is no rebound, and we are +dead people who go through the motions of life. Indeed I am a mud image, +and it will puzzle me to know what it is in me that writes, and has +comedy-fancies and finds pleasure in phrasing them. It is a law of our +nature, of course, or it wouldn't happen; the thing in me forgets the +presence of the mud image and goes its own way, wholly unconscious of it +and apparently of no kinship with it. I have finished my book, but I go +on as if the end were indefinitely away--as indeed it is. There is no +hurry--at any rate there is no limit. + +Jean's spirits are good; Clara's are rising. They have youth--the only +thing that was worth giving to the race. + +These are sardonic times. Look at Greece, and that whole shabby muddle. +But I am not sorry to be alive and privileged to look on. If I were not +a hermit I would go to the House every day and see those people scuffle +over it and blether about the brotherhood of the human race. This has +been a bitter year for English pride, and I don't like to see England +humbled--that is, not too much. We are sprung from her loins, and it +hurts me. I am for republics, and she is the only comrade we've got, in +that. We can't count France, and there is hardly enough of Switzerland +to count. Beneath the governing crust England is sound-hearted--and +sincere, too, and nearly straight. But I am appalled to notice that the +wide extension of the surface has damaged her manners, and made her +rather Americanly uncourteous on the lower levels. + +Won't you give our love to the Howellses all and particular? + Sincerely yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + The travel-book did not finish easily, and more than once when he + thought it completed he found it necessary to cut and add and + change. The final chapters were not sent to the printer until the + middle of May, and in a letter to Mr. Rogers he commented: "A + successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out + of it." Clemens was at the time contemplating a uniform edition of + his books, and in one of his letters to Mr. Rogers on the matter he + wrote, whimsically, "Now I was proposing to make a thousand sets at + a hundred dollars a set, and do the whole canvassing myself..... I + would load up every important jail and saloon in America with de + luxe editions of my books. But Mrs. Clemens and the children object + to this, I do not know why." And, in a moment of depression: "You + see the lightning refuses to strike me--there is where the defect + is. We have to do our own striking as Barney Barnato did. But + nobody ever gets the courage until he goes crazy." + + They went to Switzerland for the summer to the village of Weggis, on + Lake Lucerne--"The charmingest place we ever lived in," he declared, + "for repose, and restfulness, and superb scenery." It was here that + he began work on a new story of Tom and Huck, and at least upon one + other manuscript. From a brief note to Mr. Rogers we learn + something of his employments and economies. + + + To Henry H. Rogers, in New York: + + LUCERNE, August the something or other, 1897. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I am writing a novel, and am getting along very well +with it. + +I believe that this place (Weggis, half an hour from Lucerne,) is the +loveliest in the world, and the most satisfactory. We have a small house +on the hillside all to ourselves, and our meals are served in it from the +inn below on the lake shore. Six francs a day per head, house and food +included. The scenery is beyond comparison beautiful. We have a row +boat and some bicycles, and good roads, and no visitors. Nobody knows we +are here. And Sunday in heaven is noisy compared to this quietness. + Sincerely yours + S. L. C. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LUCERNE, Aug. 22, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Livy made a noble find on the Lucerne boat the other day on +one of her shopping trips--George Williamson Smith--did I tell you about +it? We had a lovely time with him, and such intellectual refreshment as +we had not tasted in many a month. + +And the other night we had a detachment of the jubilee Singers--6. I had +known one of them in London 24 years ago. Three of the 6 were born in +slavery, the others were children of slaves. How charming they were--in +spirit, manner, language, pronunciation, enunciation, grammar, phrasing, +matter, carriage, clothes--in every detail that goes to make the real +lady and gentleman, and welcome guest. We went down to the village hotel +and bought our tickets and entered the beer-hall, where a crowd of German +and Swiss men and women sat grouped at round tables with their beer mugs +in front of them--self-contained and unimpressionable looking people, an +indifferent and unposted and disheartened audience--and up at the far end +of the room sat the Jubilees in a row. The Singers got up and stood--the +talking and glass jingling went on. Then rose and swelled out above +those common earthly sounds one of those rich chords the secret of whose +make only the Jubilees possess, and a spell fell upon that house. It was +fine to see the faces light up with the pleased wonder and surprise of +it. No one was indifferent any more; and when the singers finished, the +camp was theirs. It was a triumph. It reminded me of Launcelot riding +in Sir Kay's armor and astonishing complacent Knights who thought they +had struck a soft thing. The Jubilees sang a lot of pieces. Arduous and +painstaking cultivation has not diminished or artificialized their music, +but on the contrary--to my surprise--has mightily reinforced its +eloquence and beauty. Away back in the beginning--to my mind--their +music made all other vocal music cheap; and that early notion is +emphasized now. It is utterly beautiful, to me; and it moves me +infinitely more than any other music can. I think that in the Jubilees +and their songs America has produced the perfectest flower of the ages; +and I wish it were a foreign product, so that she would worship it and +lavish money on it and go properly crazy over it. + +Now, these countries are different: they would do all that, if it were +native. It is true they praise God, but that is merely a formality, and +nothing in it; they open out their whole hearts to no foreigner. + +The musical critics of the German press praise the Jubilees with great +enthusiasm--acquired technique etc, included. + +One of the jubilee men is a son of General Joe Johnson, and was educated +by him after the war. The party came up to the house and we had a +pleasant time. + +This is paradise, here--but of course we have got to leave it by and by. +The 18th of August--[Anniversary of Susy Clemens's death.]--has come and +gone, Joe--and we still seem to live. + With love from us all. + MARK. + + + Clemens declared he would as soon spend his life in Weggis "as + anywhere else in the geography," but October found them in Vienna + for the winter, at the Hotel Metropole. The Austrian capital was + just then in a political turmoil, the character of which is hinted + in the following: + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Oct. 23, '97. +DEAR JOE,--We are gradually getting settled down and wonted. Vienna is +not a cheap place to live in, but I have made one small arrangement +which: has a distinctly economical aspect. The Vice Consul made the +contract for me yesterday-to-wit: a barber is to come every morning 8.30 +and shave me and keep my hair trimmed for $2.50 a month. I used to pay +$1.50 per shave in our house in Hartford. + +Does it suggest to you reflections when you reflect that this is the most +important event which has happened to me in ten days--unless I count--in +my handing a cabman over to the police day before yesterday, with the +proper formalities, and promised to appear in court when his case comes +up. + +If I had time to run around and talk, I would do it; for there is much +politics agoing, and it would be interesting if a body could get the hang +of it. It is Christian and Jew by the horns--the advantage with the +superior man, as usual--the superior man being the Jew every time and in +all countries. Land, Joe, what chance would the Christian have in a +country where there were 3 Jews to 10 Christians! Oh, not the shade of a +shadow of a chance. The difference between the brain of the average +Christian and that of the average Jew--certainly in Europe--is about the +difference between a tadpole's and an Archbishop's. It's a marvelous, +race--by long odds the most marvelous that the world has produced, I +suppose. + +And there's more politics--the clash between Czech and Austrian. I wish +I could understand these quarrels, but of course I can't. + +With the abounding love of us all + MARK. + + + In Following the Equator there was used an amusing picture showing + Mark Twain on his trip around the world. It was a trick photograph + made from a picture of Mark Twain taken in a steamer-chair, cut out + and combined with a dilapidated negro-cart drawn by a horse and an + ox. In it Clemens appears to be sitting luxuriously in the end of + the disreputable cart. His companions are two negroes. To the + creator of this ingenious effect Mark Twain sent a characteristic + acknowledgment. + + + To T. S. Frisbie + + VIENNA, Oct. 25, '97. +MR. T. S. FRISBIE,--Dear Sir: The picture has reached me, and has moved +me deeply. That was a steady, sympathetic and honorable team, and +although it was not swift, and not showy, it pulled me around the globe +successfully, and always attracted its proper share of attention, even in +the midst of the most costly and fashionable turnouts. Princes and dukes +and other experts were always enthused by the harness and could hardly +keep from trying to buy it. The barouche does not look as fine, now, as +it did earlier-but that was before the earthquake. + +The portraits of myself and uncle and nephew are very good indeed, and +your impressionist reproduction of the palace of the Governor General of +India is accurate and full of tender feeling. + +I consider that this picture is much more than a work of art. How much +more, one cannot say with exactness, but I should think two-thirds more. + + Very truly yours + MARK TWAIN. + + + Following the Equator was issued by subscription through Mark + Twain's old publishers, the Blisses, of Hartford. The sale of it + was large, not only on account of the value of the book itself, but + also because of the sympathy of the American people with Mark + Twain's brave struggle to pay his debts. When the newspapers began + to print exaggerated stories of the vast profits that were piling + up, Bliss became worried, for he thought it would modify the + sympathy. He cabled Clemens for a denial, with the following + result: + + + To Frank E. Bliss, in Hartford: + + VIENNA, Nov. 4, 1897. +DEAR BLISS,--Your cablegram informing me that a report is in circulation +which purports to come from me and which says I have recently made +$82,000 and paid all my debts has just reached me, and I have cabled +back my regret to you that it is not true. I wrote a letter--a private +letter--a short time ago, in which I expressed the belief that I should +be out of debt within the next twelvemonth. If you make as much as usual +for me out of the book, that belief will crystallize into a fact, and I +shall be wholly out of debt. I am encoring you now. + +It is out of that moderate letter that the Eighty-Two Thousand-Dollar +mare's nest has developed. But why do you worry about the various +reports? They do not worry me. They are not unfriendly, and I don't see +how they can do any harm. Be patient; you have but a little while to +wait; the possible reports are nearly all in. It has been reported that +I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead +--the other man again. It has been reported that I have received a +legacy it was another man; that I am out of debt--it was another man; and +now comes this $82,000--still another man. It has been reported that I +am writing books--for publication; I am not doing anything of the kind. +It would surprise (and gratify) me if I should be able to get another +book ready for the press within the next three years. You can see, +yourself, that there isn't anything more to be reported--invention is +exhausted. Therefore, don't worry, Bliss--the long night is breaking. +As far as I can see, nothing remains to be reported, except that I have +become a foreigner. When you hear it, don't you believe it. And don't +take the trouble to deny it. Merely just raise the American flag on our +house in Hartford, and let it talk. + Truly yours, + MARK TWAIN. + +P. S. This is not a private letter. I am getting tired of private +letters. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + VIENNA + HOTEL METROPOLE, NOV. 19, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Above is our private (and permanent) address for the winter. +You needn't send letters by London. + +I am very much obliged for Forrest's Austro-Hungarian articles. I have +just finished reading the first one: and in it I find that his opinion +and Vienna's are the same, upon a point which was puzzling me--the +paucity (no, the absence) of Austrian Celebrities. He and Vienna both +say the country cannot afford to allow great names to grow up; that the +whole safety and prosperity of the Empire depends upon keeping things +quiet; can't afford to have geniuses springing up and developing ideas +and stirring the public soul. I am assured that every time a man finds +himself blooming into fame, they just softly snake him down and relegate +him to a wholesome obscurity. It is curious and interesting. + +Three days ago the New York World sent and asked a friend of mine +(correspondent of a London daily) to get some Christmas greetings from +the celebrities of the Empire. She spoke of this. Two or three bright +Austrians were present. They said "There are none who are known all over +the world! none who have achieved fame; none who can point to their work +and say it is known far and wide in the earth: there are no names; +Kossuth (known because he had a father) and Lecher, who made the 12 hour +speech; two names-nothing more. Every other country in the world, +perhaps, has a giant or two whose heads are away up and can be seen, but +ours. We've got the material--have always had it--but we have to +suppress it; we can't afford to let it develop; our political salvation +depends upon tranquillity--always has." + +Poor Livy! She is laid up with rheumatism; but she is getting along now. +We have a good doctor, and he says she will be out of bed in a couple of +days, but must stay in the house a week or ten. + +Clara is working faithfully at her music, Jean at her usual studies, and +we all send love. + MARK. + + + Mention has already been made of the political excitement in Vienna. + The trouble between the Hungarian and German legislative bodies + presently became violent. Clemens found himself intensely + interested, and was present in one of the galleries when it was + cleared by the police. All sorts of stories were circulated as to + what happened to him, one of which was cabled to America. A letter + to Twichell sets forth what really happened. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Dec. 10, '97. +DEAR JOE,--Pond sends me a Cleveland paper with a cablegram from here in +it which says that when the police invaded the parliament and expelled +the 11 members I waved my handkerchief and shouted 'Hoch die Deutschen!' +and got hustled out. Oh dear, what a pity it is that one's adventures +never happen! When the Ordner (sergeant-at-arms) came up to our gallery +and was hurrying the people out, a friend tried to get leave for me to +stay, by saying, "But this gentleman is a foreigner--you don't need to +turn him out--he won't do any harm." + +"Oh, I know him very well--I recognize him by his pictures; and I should +be very glad to let him stay, but I haven't any choice, because of the +strictness of the orders." + +And so we all went out, and no one was hustled. Below, I ran across the +London Times correspondent, and he showed me the way into the first +gallery and I lost none of the show. The first gallery had not +misbehaved, and was not disturbed. + +. . . We cannot persuade Livy to go out in society yet, but all the +lovely people come to see her; and Clara and I go to dinner parties, and +around here and there, and we all have a most hospitable good time. +Jean's woodcarving flourishes, and her other studies. + +Good-bye Joe--and we all love all of you. + MARK. + + + Clemens made an article of the Austrian troubles, one of the best + things he ever wrote, and certainly one of the clearest elucidations + of the Austro-Hungarian confusions. It was published in Harper's + Magazine, and is now included in his complete works. + + Thus far none of the Webster Company debts had been paid--at least, + none of importance. The money had been accumulating in Mr. Rogers's + hands, but Clemens was beginning to be depressed by the heavy + burden. He wrote asking for relief. + + + Part of a letter to H. H. Rogers, in New York: + +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--I throw up the sponge. I pull down the flag. Let us +begin on the debts. I cannot bear the weight any longer. It totally +unfits me for work. I have lost three entire months now. In that time I +have begun twenty magazine articles and books--and flung every one of +them aside in turn. The debts interfered every time, and took the spirit +out of any work. And yet I have worked like a bond slave and wasted no +time and spared no effort---- + +Rogers wrote, proposing a plan for beginning immediately upon the debts. +Clemens replied enthusiastically, and during the next few weeks wrote +every few days, expressing his delight in liquidation. + + + Extracts from letters to H. H. Rogers, in New York: + +. . . We all delighted with your plan. Only don't leave B--out. +Apparently that claim has been inherited by some women--daughters, no +doubt. We don't want to see them lose any thing. B----- is an ass, and +disgruntled, but I don't care for that. I am responsible for the money +and must do the best I can to pay it..... I am writing hard--writing for +the creditors. + + + Dec. 29. +Land we are glad to see those debts diminishing. For the first time in +my life I am getting more pleasure out of paying money out than pulling +it in. + + + Jan. 2. +Since we have begun to pay off the debts I have abundant peace of mind +again--no sense of burden. Work is become a pleasure again--it is not +labor any longer. + + + March 7. +Mrs. Clemens has been reading the creditors' letters over and over again +and thanks you deeply for sending them, and says it is the only really +happy day she has had since Susy died. + + + + +XXXVII + +LETTERS, 1898, TO HOWELLS AND TWICHELL. LIFE IN VIENNA. PAYMENT OF THE +DEBTS. ASSASSINATION OF THE EMPRESS + +The end of January saw the payment of the last of Mark Twain's debts. +Once more he stood free before the world--a world that sounded his +praises. The latter fact rather amused him. "Honest men must be pretty +scarce," he said, "when they make so much fuss over even a defective +specimen." When the end was in sight Clemens wrote the news to Howells +in a letter as full of sadness as of triumph. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Jan. 22, '98. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Look at those ghastly figures. I used to write it +"Hartford, 1871." There was no Susy then--there is no Susy now. And how +much lies between--one long lovely stretch of scented fields, and +meadows, and shady woodlands, and suddenly Sahara! You speak of the +glorious days of that old time--and they were. It is my quarrel--that +traps like that are set. Susy and Winnie given us, in miserable sport, +and then taken away. + +About the last time I saw you I described to you the culminating disaster +in a book I was going to write (and will yet, when the stroke is further +away)--a man's dead daughter brought to him when he had been through all +other possible misfortunes--and I said it couldn't be done as it ought to +be done except by a man who had lived it--it must be written with the +blood out of a man's heart. I couldn't know, then, how soon I was to be +made competent. I have thought of it many a time since. If you were +here I think we could cry down each other's necks, as in your dream. +For we are a pair of old derelicts drifting around, now, with some of our +passengers gone and the sunniness of the others in eclipse. + +I couldn't get along without work now. I bury myself in it up to the +ears. Long hours--8 and 9 on a stretch, sometimes. And all the days, +Sundays included. It isn't all for print, by any means, for much of it +fails to suit me; 50,000 words of it in the past year. It was because of +the deadness which invaded me when Susy died. But I have made a change +lately--into dramatic work--and I find it absorbingly entertaining. +I don't know that I can write a play that will play: but no matter, I'll +write half a dozen that won't, anyway. Dear me, I didn't know there was +such fun in it. I'll write twenty that won't play. I get into immense +spirits as soon as my day is fairly started. Of course a good deal of +this friskiness comes of my being in sight of land--on the Webster & Co. +debts, I mean. (Private.) We've lived close to the bone and saved every +cent we could, and there's no undisputed claim, now, that we can't cash. +I have marked this "private" because it is for the friends who are +attending to the matter for us in New York to reveal it when they want to +and if they want to. There are only two claims which I dispute and which +I mean to look into personally before I pay them. But they are small. +Both together they amount to only $12,500. I hope you will never get the +like of the load saddled onto you that was saddled onto me 3 years ago. +And yet there is such a solid pleasure in paying the things that I reckon +maybe it is worth while to get into that kind of a hobble, after all. +Mrs. Clemens gets millions of delight out of it; and the children have +never uttered one complaint about the scrimping, from the beginning. + +We all send you and all of you our love. + MARK. + + + Howells wrote: "I wish you could understand how unshaken you are, + you old tower, in every way; your foundations are struck so deep + that you will catch the sunshine of immortal years, and bask in the + same light as Cervantes and Shakespeare." + + The Clemens apartments at the Metropole became a sort of social + clearing-house of the Viennese art and literary life, much more like + an embassy than the home of a mere literary man. Celebrities in + every walk of life, persons of social and official rank, writers for + the press, assembled there on terms hardly possible in any other + home in Vienna. Wherever Mark Twain appeared in public he was a + central figure. Now and then he read or spoke to aid some benefit, + and these were great gatherings attended by members of the royal + family. It was following one such event that the next letter was + written. + + +(Private) + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + HOTEL METROPOLE, + VIENNA, Feb. 3, '98. +DEAR JOE, There's that letter that I began so long ago--you see how +it is: can't get time to finish anything. I pile up lots of work, +nevertheless. There may be idle people in the world, but I'm not one of +them. I say "Private" up there because I've got an adventure to tell, +and you mustn't let a breath of it get out. First I thought I would lay +it up along with a thousand others that I've laid up for the same +purpose--to talk to you about, but--those others have vanished out of my +memory; and that must not happen with this. + +The other night I lectured for a Vienna charity; and at the end of it +Livy and I were introduced to a princess who is aunt to the heir apparent +of the imperial throne--a beautiful lady, with a beautiful spirit, and +very cordial in her praises of my books and thanks to me for writing +them; and glad to meet me face to face and shake me by the hand--just the +kind of princess that adorns a fairy tale and makes it the prettiest tale +there is. + +Very well, we long ago found that when you are noticed by supremacies, +the correct etiquette is to go, within a couple of days, and pay your +respects in the quite simple form of writing your name in the Visitors' +Book kept in the office of the establishment. That is the end of it, and +everything is squared up and ship-shape. + +So at noon today Livy and I drove to the Archducal palace, and got by the +sentries all right, and asked the grandly-uniformed porter for the book +and said we wished to write our names in it. And he called a servant in +livery and was sending us up stairs; and said her Royal Highness was out +but would soon be in. Of course Livy said "No--no--we only want the +book;" but he was firm, and said, "You are Americans?" + +"Yes." + +"Then you are expected, please go up stairs." + +"But indeed we are not expected--please let us have the book and--" + +"Her Royal Highness will be back in a very little while--she commanded me +to tell you so--and you must wait." + +Well, the soldiers were there close by--there was no use trying to +resist--so we followed the servant up; but when he tried to beguile us +into a drawing-room, Livy drew the line; she wouldn't go in. And she +wouldn't stay up there, either. She said the princess might come in at +any moment and catch us, and it would be too infernally ridiculous for +anything. So we went down stairs again--to my unspeakable regret. For +it was too darling a comedy to spoil. I was hoping and praying the +princess would come, and catch us up there, and that those other +Americans who were expected would arrive, and be taken for impostors by +the portier, and shot by the sentinels--and then it would all go into the +papers, and be cabled all over the world, and make an immense stir and be +perfectly lovely. And by that time the princess would discover that we +were not the right ones, and the Minister of War would be ordered out, +and the garrison, and they would come for us, and there would be another +prodigious time, and that would get cabled too, and--well, Joe, I was in +a state of perfect bliss. But happily, oh, so happily, that big portier +wouldn't let us out--he was sorry, but he must obey orders--we must go +back up stairs and wait. Poor Livy--I couldn't help but enjoy her +distress. She said we were in a fix, and how were we going to explain, +if the princess should arrive before the rightful Americans came? We +went up stairs again--laid off our wraps, and were conducted through one +drawing room and into another, and left alone there and the door closed +upon us. + +Livy was in a state of mind! She said it was too theatrically +ridiculous; and that I would never be able to keep my mouth shut; that I +would be sure to let it out and it would get into the papers--and she +tried to make me promise--"Promise what?" I said--"to be quiet about +this? Indeed I won't--it's the best thing that ever happened; I'll tell +it, and add to it; and I wish Joe and Howells were here to make it +perfect; I can't make all the rightful blunders myself--it takes all +three of us to do justice to an opportunity like this. I would just like +to see Howells get down to his work and explain, and lie, and work his +futile and inventionless subterfuges when that princess comes raging in +here and wanting to know." But Livy could not hear fun--it was not a +time to be trying to be funny--we were in a most miserable and shameful +situation, and if-- + +Just then the door spread wide and our princess and 4 more, and 3 little +princes flowed in! Our princess, and her sister the Archduchess Marie +Therese (mother to the imperial Heir and to the young girl Archduchesses +present, and aunt to the 3 little princes)--and we shook hands all around +and sat down and had a most sociable good time for half an hour--and by +and by it turned out that we were the right ones, and had been sent for +by a messenger who started too late to catch us at the hotel. We were +invited for 2 o'clock, but we beat that arrangement by an hour and a +half. + +Wasn't it a rattling good comedy situation? Seems a kind of pity we were +the right ones. It would have been such nuts to see the right ones come, +and get fired out, and we chatting along comfortably and nobody +suspecting us for impostors. + +We send lots and lots of love. + MARK. + + + The reader who has followed these pages has seen how prone Mark + Twain was to fall a victim to the lure of a patent-right--how he + wasted several small fortunes on profitless contrivances, and one + large one on that insatiable demon of intricacy and despair, the + Paige type-setter. It seems incredible that, after that experience + and its attending disaster, he should have been tempted again. But + scarcely was the ink dry on the receipts from his creditors when he + was once more borne into the clouds on the prospect of millions, + perhaps even billions, to be made from a marvelous carpet-pattern + machine, the invention of Sczezepanik, an Austrian genius. That + Clemens appreciated his own tendencies is shown by the parenthetic + line with which he opens his letter on the subject to Mr. Rogers. + Certainly no man was ever a more perfect prototype of Colonel + Sellers than the creator of that lovely, irrepressible visionary. + + + To Mr. Rogers, in New York: + + March 24, '98. +DEAR MR. ROGERS,--(I feel like Col. Sellers). + +Mr. Kleinberg [agent for Sczezepanik] came according to appointment, at +8.30 last night, and brought his English-speaking Secretary. I asked +questions about the auxiliary invention (which I call "No. 2 ") and got +as good an idea of it as I could. It is a machine. It automatically +punches the holes in the jacquard cards, and does it with mathematical +accuracy. It will do for $1 what now costs $3. So it has value, but +"No. 2" is the great thing(the designing invention.) It saves $9 out of +$10 and the jacquard looms must have it. + +Then I arrived at my new project, and said to him in substance, this: + +"You are on the point of selling the No. 2 patents to Belgium, Italy, +etc. I suggest that you stop those negotiations and put those people off +two or three months. They are anxious now, they will not be less anxious +then--just the reverse; people always want a thing that is denied them. + +"So far as I know, no great world-patent has ever yet been placed in the +grip of a single corporation. This is a good time to begin. + +"We have to do a good deal of guess-work here, because we cannot get hold +of just the statistics we want. Still, we have some good statistics--and +I will use those for a test. + +"You say that of the 1500 Austrian textile factories, 800 use the +jacquard. Then we will guess that of the 4,000 American factories 2,000 +use the jacquard and must have our No. 2. + +"You say that a middle-sized Austrian factory employs from 20 to 30 +designers and pays them from 800 to 3,000 odd florins a year--(a florin +is 2 francs). Let us call the average wage 1500 florins ($600). + +"Let us apply these figures (the low wages too) to the 2,000 American +factories--with this difference, to guard against over-guessing; that +instead of allowing for 20 to 30 designers to a middle-sized factory, we +allow only an average of 10 to each of the 2,000 factories--a total of +20,000 designers. Wages at $600, a total of $12,000,000. Let us +consider that No. 2 will reduce this expense to $2,000,000 a year. The +saving is $5,000,000 per each of the $200,000,000 of capital employed in +the jacquard business over there. + +"Let us consider that in the countries covered by this patent, an +aggregate of $1,500,000,000 of capital is employed in factories requiring +No. 2. + +"The saving (as above) is $75,000,000 a year. The Company holding in its +grip all these patents would collar $50,000,000 of that, as its share. +Possibly more. + +"Competition would be at an end in the Jacquard business, on this planet. +Price-cutting would end. Fluctuations in values would cease. The +business would be the safest and surest in the world; commercial panics +could not seriously affect it; its stock would be as choice an investment +as Government bonds. When the patents died the Company would be so +powerful that it could still keep the whole business in its hands. Would +you like to grant me the privilege of placing the whole jacquard business +of the world in the grip of a single Company? And don't you think that +the business would grow-grow like a weed?" + +"Ach, America--it is the country of the big! Let me get my breath--then +we will talk." + +So then we talked--talked till pretty late. Would Germany and England +join the combination? I said the Company would know how to persuade +them. + +Then I asked for a Supplementary Option, to cover the world, and we +parted. + +I am taking all precautions to keep my name out of print in connection +with this matter. And we will now keep the invention itself out of print +as well as we can. Descriptions of it have been granted to the "Dry +Goods Economist" (New York) and to a syndicate of American papers. I +have asked Mr. Kleinberg to suppress these, and he feels pretty sure he +can do it. + With love, + S. L. C. + + + If this splendid enthusiasm had not cooled by the time a reply came + from Mr. Rogers, it must have received a sudden chill from the + letter which he inclosed--the brief and concise report from a + carpet-machine expert, who said: "I do not feel that it would be of + any value to us in our mills, and the number of jacquard looms in + America is so limited that I am of the opinion that there is no + field for a company to develop the invention here. A cursory + examination of the pamphlet leads me to place no very high value + upon the invention, from a practical standpoint." + + With the receipt of this letter carpet-pattern projects would seem + to have suddenly ceased to be a factor in Mark Twain's calculations. + Such a letter in the early days of the type-machine would have saved + him a great sum in money and years of disappointment. But perhaps + he would not have heeded it then. + + The year 1898 brought the Spanish-American War. Clemens was + constitutionally against all wars, but writing to Twichell, whose + son had enlisted, we gather that this one was an exception. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + KALTENLEUTGEBEN, NEAR VIENNA, + June 17, '98. +DEAR JOE,--You are living your war-days over again in Dave, and it must +be a strong pleasure, mixed with a sauce of apprehension--enough to make +it just schmeck, as the Germans say. Dave will come out with two or +three stars on his shoulder-straps if the war holds, and then we shall +all be glad it happened. + +We started with Bull Run, before. Dewey and Hobson have introduced an +improvement on the game this time. + +I have never enjoyed a war-even in written history--as I am enjoying this +one. For this is the worthiest one that was ever fought, so far as my +knowledge goes. It is a worthy thing to fight for one's freedom; it is +another sight finer to fight for another man's. And I think this is the +first time it has been done. + +Oh, never mind Charley Warner, he would interrupt the raising of Lazarus. +He would say, the will has been probated, the property distributed, it +will be a world of trouble to settle the rows--better leave well enough +alone; don't ever disturb anything, where it's going to break the soft +smooth flow of things and wobble our tranquillity. + +Company! (Sh! it happens every day--and we came out here to be quiet.) + +Love to you all. + MARK. + + + They were spending the summer at Kaltenleutgeben, a pleasant village + near Vienna, but apparently not entirely quiet. Many friends came + out from Vienna, including a number of visiting Americans. Clemens, + however, appears to have had considerable time for writing, as we + gather from the next to Howells. + + + To W. D. Howells, in America: + + KALTENLEUTGEBEN, BEI WIEN, + Aug. 16, '98. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Your letter came yesterday. It then occurred to me that I +might have known (per mental telegraph) that it was due; for a couple of +weeks ago when the Weekly came containing that handsome reference to me I +was powerfully moved to write you; and my letter went on writing itself +while I was at work at my other literature during the day. But next day +my other literature was still urgent--and so on and so on; so my letter +didn't get put into ink at all. But I see now, that you were writing, +about that time, therefore a part of my stir could have come across the +Atlantic per mental telegraph. In 1876 or '75 I wrote 40,000 words of a +story called "Simon Wheeler" wherein the nub was the preventing of an +execution through testimony furnished by mental telegraph from the other +side of the globe. I had a lot of people scattered about the globe who +carried in their pockets something like the old mesmerizer-button, made +of different metals, and when they wanted to call up each other and have +a talk, they "pressed the button" or did something, I don't remember +what, and communication was at once opened. I didn't finish the story, +though I re-began it in several new ways, and spent altogether 70,000 +words on it, then gave it up and threw it aside. + +This much as preliminary to this remark: some day people will be able to +call each other up from any part of the world and talk by mental +telegraph--and not merely by impression, the impression will be +articulated into words. It could be a terrible thing, but it won't be, +because in the upper civilizations everything like sentimentality (I was +going to say sentiment) will presently get materialized out of people +along with the already fading spiritualities; and so when a man is called +who doesn't wish to talk he will be like those visitors you mention: "not +chosen"--and will be frankly damned and shut off. + +Speaking of the ill luck of starting a piece of literary work wrong-and +again and again; always aware that there is a way, if you could only +think it out, which would make the thing slide effortless from the pen- +the one right way, the sole form for you, the other forms being for men +whose line those forms are, or who are capabler than yourself: I've had +no end of experience in that (and maybe I am the only one--let us hope +so.) Last summer I started 16 things wrong--3 books and 13 mag. +articles--and could only make 2 little wee things, 1500 words altogether, +succeed:--only that out of piles and stacks of diligently-wrought MS., +the labor of 6 weeks' unremitting effort. I could make all of those +things go if I would take the trouble to re-begin each one half a dozen +times on a new plan. But none of them was important enough except one: +the story I (in the wrong form) mapped out in Paris three or four years +ago and told you about in New York under seal of confidence--no other +person knows of it but Mrs. Clemens--the story to be called "Which was +the Dream?" + +A week ago I examined the MS--10,000 words--and saw that the plan was a +totally impossible one-for me; but a new plan suggested itself, and +straightway the tale began to slide from the pen with ease and +confidence. I think I've struck the right one this time. I have already +put 12,000 words of it on paper and Mrs. Clemens is pretty outspokenly +satisfied with it-a hard critic to content. I feel sure that all of the +first half of the story--and I hope three-fourths--will be comedy; but by +the former plan the whole of it (except the first 3 chapters) would have +been tragedy and unendurable, almost. I think I can carry the reader a +long way before he suspects that I am laying a tragedy-trap. In the +present form I could spin 16 books out of it with comfort and joy; but I +shall deny myself and restrict it to one. (If you should see a little +short story in a magazine in the autumn called "My Platonic Sweetheart" +written 3 weeks ago) that is not this one. It may have been a +suggester, though. + +I expect all these singular privacies to interest you, and you are not to +let on that they don't. + +We are leaving, this afternoon, for Ischl, to use that as a base for the +baggage, and then gad around ten days among the lakes and mountains to +rest-up Mrs. Clemens, who is jaded with housekeeping. I hope I can get a +chance to work a little in spots--I can't tell. But you do it--therefore +why should you think I can't? + + [Remainder missing.] + + + The dream story was never completed. It was the same that he had + worked on in London, and perhaps again in Switzerland. It would be + tried at other times and in other forms, but it never seemed to + accommodate itself to a central idea, so that the good writing in it + eventually went to waste. The short story mentioned, "My Platonic + Sweetheart," a charming, idyllic tale, was not published during Mark + Twain's lifetime. Two years after his death it appeared in Harper's + Magazine. + + The assassination of the Empress of Austria at Geneva was the + startling event of that summer. In a letter to Twichell Clemens + presents the tragedy in a few vivid paragraphs. Later he treated it + at some length in a magazine article which, very likely because of + personal relations with members of the Austrian court, he withheld + from print. It has since been included in a volume of essays, What + Is Man, etc. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + KALTENLEUTGEBEN, Sep. 13, '98. +DEAR JOE,--You are mistaken; people don't send us the magazines. No-- +Harper, Century and McClure do; an example I should like to recommend to +other publishers. And so I thank you very much for sending me Brander's +article. When you say "I like Brander Matthews; he impresses me as a man +of parts and power," I back you, right up to the hub--I feel the same +way--. And when you say he has earned your gratitude for cuffing me for +my crimes against the Leather stockings and the Vicar, I ain't making any +objection. Dern your gratitude! + +His article is as sound as a nut. Brander knows literature, and loves +it; he can talk about it and keep his temper; he can state his case so +lucidly and so fairly and so forcibly that you have to agree with him, +even when you don't agree with him; and he can discover and praise such +merits as a book has, even when they are half a dozen diamonds scattered +through an acre of mud. And so he has a right to be a critic. + +To detail just the opposite of the above invoice is to describe me. I +haven't any right to criticise books, and I don't do it except when I +hate them. I often want to criticise Jane Austen, but her books madden +me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I +have to stop every time I begin. + +That good and unoffending lady the Empress is killed by a mad-man, and I +am living in the midst of world-history again. The Queen's jubilee last +year, the invasion of the Reichsrath by the police, and now this murder, +which will still be talked of and described and painted a thousand years +from now. To have a personal friend of the wearer of the crown burst in +at the gate in the deep dusk of the evening and say in a voice broken +with tears, "My God the Empress is murdered," and fly toward her home +before we can utter a question-why, it brings the giant event home to +you, makes you a part of it and personally interested; it is as if your +neighbor Antony should come flying and say "Caesar is butchered--the head +of the world is fallen!" + +Of course there is no talk but of this. The mourning is universal and +genuine, the consternation is stupefying. The Austrian Empire is being +draped with black. Vienna will be a spectacle to see, by next Saturday, +when the funeral cortege marches. We are invited to occupy a room in the +sumptuous new hotel (the "Krantz" where we are to live during the Fall +and Winter) and view it, and we shall go. + +Speaking of Mrs. Leiter, there is a noble dame in Vienna, about whom they +retail similar slanders. She said in French--she is weak in French--that +she had been spending a Sunday afternoon in a gathering of the +"demimonde." Meaning the unknown land, that mercantile land, that +mysterious half-world which underlies the aristocracy. But these +Malaproperies are always inventions--they don't happen. + +Yes, I wish we could have some talks; I'm full to the eye-lids. Had a +noble good one with Parker and Dunham--land, but we were grateful for +that visit! + Yours with all our loves. + MARK. + + [Inclosed with the foregoing.] + +Among the inadequate attempts to account for the assassination we must +concede high rank to the German Emperor's. He justly describes it as a +"deed unparalleled for ruthlessness," and then adds that it was "ordained +from above." + +I think this verdict will not be popular "above." A man is either a free +agent or he isn't. If a man is a free agent, this prisoner is +responsible for what he has done; but if a man is not a free agent, if +the deed was ordained from above, there is no rational way of making this +prisoner even partially responsible for it, and the German court cannot +condemn him without manifestly committing a crime. Logic is logic; and +by disregarding its laws even Emperors as capable and acute as William II +can be beguiled into making charges which should not be ventured upon +except in the shelter of plenty of lightning-rods. + MARK. + + + The end of the year 1898 found Mark Twain once more in easy, even + luxurious, circumstances. The hard work and good fortune which had + enabled him to pay his debts had, in the course of another year, + provided what was comparative affluence: His report to Howells is + characteristic and interesting. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + HOTEL KRANTZ, WIEN, L. NEVER MARKT 6 + Dec. 30, '98. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I begin with a date--including all the details--though I +shall be interrupted presently by a South-African acquaintance who is +passing through, and it may be many days before I catch another leisure +moment. Note how suddenly a thing can become habit, and how +indestructible the habit is, afterward! In your house in Cambridge a +hundred years ago, Mrs. Howells said to me, "Here is a bunch of your +letters, and the dates are of no value, because you don't put any in-- +the years, anyway." That remark diseased me with a habit which has cost +me worlds of time and torture and ink, and millions of vain efforts and +buckets of tears to break it, and here it is yet--I could easier get rid +of a virtue..... + +I hope it will interest you (for I have no one else who would much care +to know it) that here lately the dread of leaving the children in +difficult circumstances has died down and disappeared and I am now having +peace from that long, long nightmare, and can sleep as well as anyone. +Every little while, for these three years, now, Mrs. Clemens has come +with pencil and paper and figured up the condition of things (she keeps +the accounts and the bank-book) and has proven to me that the clouds were +lifting, and so has hoisted my spirits temporarily and kept me going till +another figuring-up was necessary. Last night she figured up for her own +satisfaction, not mine, and found that we own a house and furniture in +Hartford; that my English and American copyrights pay an income which +represents a value of $200,000; and that we have $107,000 cash in the +bank. I have been out and bought a box of 6-cent cigars; I was smoking +4 1/2 centers before. + +At the house of an English friend, on Christmas Eve, we saw the Mouse- +Trap played and well played. I thought the house would kill itself with +laughter. By George they played with life! and it was most +devastatingly funny. And it was well they did, for they put us Clemenses +in the front seat, and if they played it poorly I would have assaulted +them. The head young man and girl were Americans, the other parts were +taken by English, Irish and Scotch girls. Then there was a nigger- +minstrel show, of the genuine old sort, and I enjoyed that, too, for the +nigger-show was always a passion of mine. This one was created and +managed by a Quaker doctor from Philada., (23 years old) and he was the +middle man. There were 9 others--5 Americans from 5 States and a +Scotchman, 2 Englishmen and an Irishman--all post-graduate-medical young +fellows, of course--or, it could be music; but it would be bound to be +one or the other. + +It's quite true--I don't read you "as much as I ought," nor anywhere near +half as much as I want to; still I read you all I get a chance to. +I saved up your last story to read when the numbers should be complete, +but before that time arrived some other admirer of yours carried off the +papers. I will watch admirers of yours when the Silver Wedding journey +begins, and that will not happen again. The last chance at a bound book +of yours was in London nearly two years ago--the last volume of your +short things, by the Harpers. I read the whole book twice through and +some of the chapters several times, and the reason that that was as far +as I got with it was that I lent it to another admirer of yours and he is +admiring it yet. Your admirers have ways of their own; I don't know +where they get them. + +Yes, our project is to go home next autumn if we find we can afford to +live in New York. We've asked a friend to inquire about flats and +expenses. But perhaps nothing will come of it. We do afford to live in +the finest hotel in Vienna, and have 4 bedrooms, a dining-room, a +drawing-room, 3 bath-rooms and 3 Vorzimmers, (and food) but we couldn't +get the half of it in New York for the same money ($600 a month). + + +Susy hovers about us this holiday week, and the shadows fall all about us +of + + "The days when we went gipsying + A long time ago." + +Death is so kind, so benignant, to whom he loves; but he goes by us +others and will not look our way. We saw the "Master of Palmyra" last +night. How Death, with the gentleness and majesty, made the human grand- +folk around him seem little and trivial and silly! + +With love from all of us to all of you. + MARK. + + + + +XXXVIII + +LETTERS, 1899, TO HOWELLS AND OTHERS. VIENNA. LONDON. A SUMMER IN +SWEDEN + +The beginning of 1899 found the Clemens family still in Vienna, occupying +handsome apartments at the Hotel Krantz. Their rooms, so often thronged +with gay and distinguished people, were sometimes called the "Second +Embassy." Clemens himself was the central figure of these assemblies. +Of all the foreign visitors in the Austrian capital he was the most +notable. Everywhere he was surrounded by a crowd of listeners--his +sayings and opinions were widely quoted. + +A project for world disarmament promulgated by the Czar of Russia would +naturally interest Mark Twain, and when William T. Stead, of the Review +of Reviews, cabled him for an opinion on the matter, he sent at first a +brief word and on the same day followed it with more extended comment. +The great war which has since devastated the world gives to this incident +an added interest. + + + To Wm. T. Stead, in London: + +No. 1. + VIENNA, Jan. 9. +DEAR MR. STEAD,-The Czar is ready to disarm: I am ready to disarm. +Collect the others, it should not be much of a task now. + MARK TWAIN. + + +To Wm. T. Stead, in London: + +No. 2. +DEAR MR. STEAD,--Peace by compulsion. That seems a better idea than the +other. Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should +not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and +history seems to show that that cannot be done. Can't we reduce the +armaments little by little--on a pro rata basis--by concert of the +powers? Can't we get four great powers to agree to reduce their strength +10 per cent a year and thrash the others into doing likewise? For, of +course, we cannot expect all of the powers to be in their right minds at +one time. It has been tried. We are not going to try to get all of them +to go into the scheme peaceably, are we? In that case I must withdraw my +influence; because, for business reasons, I must preserve the outward +signs of sanity. Four is enough if they can be securely harnessed +together. They can compel peace, and peace without compulsion would be +against nature and not operative. A sliding scale of reduction of 10 per +cent a year has a sort of plausible look, and I am willing to try that if +three other powers will join. I feel sure that the armaments are now +many times greater than necessary for the requirements of either peace or +war. Take wartime for instance. Suppose circumstances made it necessary +for us to fight another Waterloo, and that it would do what it did +before--settle a large question and bring peace. I will guess that +400,000 men were on hand at Waterloo (I have forgotten the figures). +In five hours they disabled 50,000 men. It took them that tedious, long +time because the firearms delivered only two or three shots a minute. +But we would do the work now as it was done at Omdurman, with shower +guns, raining 600 balls a minute. Four men to a gun--is that the number? +A hundred and fifty shots a minute per man. Thus a modern soldier is 149 +Waterloo soldiers in one. Thus, also, we can now retain one man out of +each 150 in service, disband the others, and fight our Waterloos just as +effectively as we did eighty-five years ago. We should do the same +beneficent job with 2,800 men now that we did with 400,000 then. The +allies could take 1,400 of the men, and give Napoleon 1,400 and then whip +him. + +But instead what do we see? In war-time in Germany, Russia and France, +taken together we find about 8 million men equipped for the field. Each +man represents 149 Waterloo men, in usefulness and killing capacity. +Altogether they constitute about 350 million Waterloo men, and there are +not quite that many grown males of the human race now on this planet. +Thus we have this insane fact--that whereas those three countries could +arm 18,000 men with modern weapons and make them the equals of 3 million +men of Napoleon's day, and accomplish with them all necessary war work, +they waste their money and their prosperity creating forces of their +populations in piling together 349,982,000 extra Waterloo equivalents +which they would have no sort of use for if they would only stop drinking +and sit down and cipher a little. + +Perpetual peace we cannot have on any terms, I suppose; but I hope we can +gradually reduce the war strength of Europe till we get it down to where +it ought to be--20,000 men, properly armed. Then we can have all the +peace that is worth while, and when we want a war anybody can afford it. + + + VIENNA, January 9. +P. S.--In the article I sent the figures are wrong--"350 million" ought +to be 450 million; "349,982,000" ought to be 449,982,000, and the remark +about the sum being a little more than the present number of males on the +planet--that is wrong, of course; it represents really one and a half the +existing males. + + + Now and then one of Mark Twain's old comrades still reached out to + him across the years. He always welcomed such letters--they came as + from a lost land of romance, recalled always with tenderness. He + sent light, chaffing replies, but they were never without an + undercurrent of affection. + + + To Major "Jack" Downing, in Middleport, Ohio: + + HOTEL KRANTZ, WEIN, I, NEUER MART 6, + Feb. 26, 1899. +DEAR MAJOR,--No: it was to Bixby that I was apprenticed. He was to teach +me the river for a certain specified sum. I have forgotten what it was, +but I paid it. I steered a trip for Bart Bowen, of Keokuk, on the A. T. +Lacy, and I was partner with Will Bowen on the A. B. Chambers (one trip), +and with Sam Bowen a whole summer on a small Memphis packet. + +The newspaper report you sent me is incorrect. Bixby is not 67: he is +97. I am 63 myself, and I couldn't talk plain and had just begun to walk +when I apprenticed myself to Bixby who was then passing himself off for +57 and successfully too, for he always looked 60 or 70 years younger than +he really was. At that time he was piloting the Mississippi on a Potomac +commission granted him by George Washington who was a personal friend of +his before the Revolution. He has piloted every important river in +America, on that commission, he has also used it as a passport in Russia. +I have never revealed these facts before. I notice, too, that you are +deceiving the people concerning your age. The printed portrait which you +have enclosed is not a portrait of you, but a portrait of me when I was +19. I remember very well when it was common for people to mistake Bixby +for your grandson. Is it spreading, I wonder--this disposition of pilots +to renew their youth by doubtful methods? Beck Jolly and Joe Bryan--they +probably go to Sunday school now--but it will not deceive. + +Yes, it is as you say. All of the procession but a fraction has passed. +It is time for us all to fall in. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + HOTEL KRANTZ, WIEN I. NEUER MARKT 6 + April 2, '99. +DEAR HOWELLS,--I am waiting for the April Harper, which is about due now; +waiting, and strongly interested. You are old enough to be a weary man, +with paling interests, but you do not show it. You do your work in the +same old delicate and delicious and forceful and searching and perfect +way. I don't know how you can--but I suspect. I suspect that to you +there is still dignity in human life, and that Man is not a joke--a poor +joke--the poorest that was ever contrived. Since I wrote my Bible, (last +year)--["What Is Man."]--which Mrs. Clemens loathes, and shudders over, +and will not listen to the last half nor allow me to print any part of +it, Man is not to me the respect-worthy person he was before; and so I +have lost my pride in him, and can't write gaily nor praisefully about +him any more. And I don't intend to try. I mean to go on writing, for +that is my best amusement, but I shan't print much. (for I don't wish to +be scalped, any more than another.) + +April 5. The Harper has come. I have been in Leipzig with your party, +and then went on to Karlsbad and saw Mrs. Marsh's encounter with the +swine with the toothpick and the other manners--["Their Silver Wedding +Journey."]--At this point Jean carried the magazine away. + +Is it imagination, or--Anyway I seem to get furtive and fleeting glimpses +which I take to be the weariness and condolence of age; indifference to +sights and things once brisk with interest; tasteless stale stuff which +used to be champagne; the boredom of travel: the secret sigh behind the +public smile, the private What-in-hell-did-I-come-for! + +But maybe that is your art. Maybe that is what you intend the reader to +detect and think he has made a Columbus-discovery. Then it is well done, +perfectly done. I wrote my last travel book--[Following the Equator.]-- +in hell; but I let on, the best I could, that it was an excursion through +heaven. Some day I will read it, and if its lying cheerfulness fools me, +then I shall believe it fooled the reader. How I did loathe that journey +around the world!--except the sea-part and India. + +Evening. My tail hangs low. I thought I was a financier--and I bragged +to you. I am not bragging, now. The stock which I sold at such a fine +profit early in January, has never ceased to advance, and is now worth +$60,000 more than I sold it for. I feel just as if I had been spending +$20,000 a month, and I feel reproached for this showy and unbecoming +extravagance. + +Last week I was going down with the family to Budapest to lecture, and to +make a speech at a banquet. Just as I was leaving here I got a telegram +from London asking for the speech for a New York paper. I (this is +strictly private) sent it. And then I didn't make that speech, but +another of a quite different character--a speech born of something +which the introducer said. If that said speech got cabled and printed, +you needn't let on that it was never uttered. + +That was a darling night, and those Hungarians were lively people. We +were there a week and had a great time. At the banquet I heard their +chief orator make a most graceful and easy and beautiful and delicious +speech--I never heard one that enchanted me more--although I did not +understand a word of it, since it was in Hungarian. But the art of it!- +it was superlative. + +They are wonderful English scholars, these people; my lecture audience-- +all Hungarians--understood me perfectly--to judge by the effects. The +English clergyman told me that in his congregation are 150 young English +women who earn their living teaching their language; and that there are. +others besides these. + +For 60 cents a week the telephone reads the morning news to you at home; +gives you the stocks and markets at noon; gives you lessons in 3 foreign +languages during 3 hours; gives you the afternoon telegrams; and at night +the concerts and operas. Of course even the clerks and seamstresses and +bootblacks and everybody else are subscribers. + +(Correction. Mrs. Clemens says it is 60 cents a month.) + +I am renewing my youth. I made 4 speeches at one banquet here last +Saturday night. And I've been to a lot of football matches. + +Jean has been in here examining the poll for the Immortals ("Literature," +March 24,) in the hope, I think, that at last she should find me at the +top and you in second place; and if that is her ambition she has suffered +disappointment for the third time--and will never fare any better, I +hope, for you are where you belong, by every right. She wanted to know +who it is that does the voting, but I was not able to tell her. Nor when +the election will be completed and decided. + +Next Morning. I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every +morning--well knowing that I shall find in it the usual depravities and +basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and +cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the +human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not +despair. + +(Escaped from) 5 o'clock tea. ('sh!) Oh, the American girl in Europe! +Often she is creditable, but sometimes she is just shocking. This one, +a minute ago--19, fat-face, raspy voice, pert ways, the self-complacency +of God; and with it all a silly laugh (embarrassed) which kept breaking +out through her chatter all along, whereas there was no call for it, for +she said nothing that was funny. "Spose so many 've told y' how they +'njoyed y'r chapt'r on the Germ' tongue it's bringin' coals to Newcastle +Kehe! say anything 'bout it Ke-hehe! Spent m' vacation 'n Russia, 'n +saw Tolstoi; he said--" It made me shudder. + +April 12. Jean has been in here with a copy of Literature, complaining +that I am again behind you in the election of the 10 consecrated members; +and seems troubled about it and not quite able to understand it. But I +have explained to her that you are right there on the ground, inside the +pool-booth, keeping game--and that that makes a large difference in these +things. + +13th. I have been to the Knustausstellung with Mrs. Clemens. The office +of art seems to be to grovel in the dirt before Emperors and this and +that and the other damned breed of priests. + Yrs ever + MARK. + + + Howells and Clemens were corresponding regularly again, though not + with the frequency of former years. Perhaps neither of them was + bubbling over with things to say; perhaps it was becoming yearly + less attractive to pick up a pen and write, and then, of course, + there was always the discouragement of distance. Once Howells + wrote: "I know this will find you in Austria before I can well turn + round, but I must make believe you are in Kennebunkport before I can + begin it." And in another letter: "It ought to be as pleasant to + sit down and write to you as to sit down and talk to you, but it + isn't..... The only reason why I write is that I want another + letter from you, and because I have a whole afternoon for the job. + I have the whole of every afternoon, for I cannot work later than + lunch. I am fagged by that time, and Sunday is the only day that + brings unbearable leisure. I hope you will be in New York another + winter; then I shall know what to do with these foretastes of + eternity." + + Clemens usually wrote at considerable length, for he had a good deal + to report of his life in the Austrian capital, now drawing to a + close. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + May 12, 1899. +DEAR HOWELLS,--7.15 p. m. Tea (for Mr. and Mrs. Tower, who are leaving +for Russia) just over; nice people and rather creditable to the human +race: Mr. and Mrs. Tower; the new Minister and his wife; the Secretary of +Legation; the Naval (and Military) Attach; several English ladies; an +Irish lady; a Scotch lady; a particularly nice young Austrian baron who +wasn't invited but came and went supposing it was the usual thing and +wondered at the unusually large gathering; two other Austrians and +several Americans who were also in his fix; the old Baronin Langeman, +the only Austrian invited; the rest were Americans. It made just a +comfortable crowd in our parlor, with an overflow into Clara's through +the folding doors. I don't enjoy teas, and am daily spared them by Mrs. +Clemens, but this was a pleasant one. I had only one accident. The old +Baronin Langeman is a person I have a strong fondness for, for we +violently disagree on some subjects and as violently agree on others-- +for instance, she is temperance and I am not: she has religious beliefs +and feelings and I have none; (she's a Methodist!) she is a democrat and +so am I; she is woman's rights and so am I; she is laborers' rights and +approves trades unions and strikes, and that is me. And so on. After +she was gone an English lady whom I greatly like, began to talk sharply +against her for contributing money, time, labor, and public expression of +favor to a strike that is on (for an 11-hour day) in the silk factories +of Bohemia--and she caught me unprepared and betrayed me into over-warm +argument. I am sorry: for she didn't know anything about the subject, +and I did; and one should be gentle with the ignorant, for they are the +chosen of God. + +(The new Minister is a good man, but out of place. The Sec. of Legation +is a good man, but out of place. The Attache is a good man, but out of +place. Our government for displacement beats the new White Star ship; +and her possible is 17,200 tons.) + +May 13, 4 p. m. A beautiful English girl and her handsome English +husband came up and spent the evening, and she certainly is a bird. +English parents--she was born and reared in Roumania and couldn't talk +English till she was 8 or 10. She came up clothed like the sunset, and +was a delight to look at. (Roumanian costume.)..... + +Twenty-four young people have gone out to the Semmering to-day (and to- +morrow) and Mrs. Clemens and an English lady and old Leschetitzky and his +wife have gone to chaperon them. They gave me a chance to go, but there +are no snow mountains that I want to look at. Three hours out, three +hours back, and sit up all night watching the young people dance; yelling +conversationally and being yelled at, conversationally, by new +acquaintances, through the deafening music, about how I like Vienna, and +if it's my first visit, and how long we expect to stay, and did I see the +foot-washing, and am I writing a book about Vienna, and so on. The terms +seemed too severe. Snow mountains are too dear at the price .... + +For several years I have been intending to stop writing for print as soon +as I could afford it. At last I can afford it, and have put the pot- +boiler pen away. What I have been wanting is a chance to write a book +without reserves--a book which should take account of no one's feelings, +and no one's prejudices, opinions, beliefs, hopes, illusions, delusions; +a book which should say my say, right out of my heart, in the plainest +language and without a limitation of any sort. I judged that that would +be an unimaginable luxury, heaven on earth. + +It is under way, now, and it is a luxury! an intellectual drunk: Twice I +didn't start it right; and got pretty far in, both times, before I found +it out. But I am sure it is started right this time. It is in tale- +form. I believe I can make it tell what I think of Man, and how he is +constructed, and what a shabby poor ridiculous thing he is, and how +mistaken he is in his estimate of his character and powers and qualities +and his place among the animals. + +So far, I think I am succeeding. I let the madam into the secret day +before yesterday, and locked the doors and read to her the opening +chapters. She said-- + +"It is perfectly horrible--and perfectly beautiful!" + +"Within the due limits of modesty, that is what I think." + +I hope it will take me a year or two to write it, and that it will turn +out to be the right vessel to contain all the abuse I am planning to dump +into it. + Yours ever + MARK. + + + The story mentioned in the foregoing, in which Mark Twain was to + give his opinion of man, was The Mysterious Stranger. It was not + finished at the time, and its closing chapter was not found until + after his death. Six years later (1916) it was published serially + in Harper's Magazine, and in book form. + + The end of May found the Clemens party in London, where they were + received and entertained with all the hospitality they had known in + earlier years. Clemens was too busy for letter-writing, but in the + midst of things he took time to report to Howells an amusing + incident of one of their entertainments. + + + To W. D. Howells, in America: + + LONDON, July 3, '99 +DEAR HOWELLS,--..... I've a lot of things to write you, but it's no use-- +I can't get time for anything these days. I must break off and write a +postscript to Canon Wilberforce before I go to bed. This afternoon he +left a luncheon-party half an hour ahead of the rest, and carried off my +hat (which has Mark Twain in a big hand written in it.) When the rest of +us came out there was but one hat that would go on my head--it fitted +exactly, too. So wore it away. It had no name in it, but the Canon was +the only man who was absent. I wrote him a note at 8 p.m.; saying that +for four hours I had not been able to take anything that did not belong +to me, nor stretch a fact beyond the frontiers of truth, and my family +were getting alarmed. Could he explain my trouble? And now at 8.30 p.m. +comes a note from him to say that all the afternoon he has been +exhibiting a wonder-compelling mental vivacity and grace of expression, +etc., etc., and have I missed a hat? Our letters have crossed. + Yours ever + MARK. + + + News came of the death of Robert Ingersoll. Clemens had been always + one of his most ardent admirers, and a warm personal friend. To + Ingersoll's niece he sent a word of heartfelt sympathy. + + + To Miss Eva Farrell, in New York: + + 30 WELLINGTON COURT, ALBERT GATE. +DEAR MISS FARRELL,--Except my daughter's, I have not grieved for any +death as I have grieved for his. His was a great and beautiful spirit, +he was a man--all man from his crown to his foot soles. My reverence for +him was deep and genuine; I prized his affection for me and returned it +with usury. + Sincerely Yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Clemens and family decided to spend the summer in Sweden, at Sauna, + in order to avail themselves of osteopathic treatment as practised + by Heinrick Kellgren. Kellgren's method, known as the "Swedish + movements," seemed to Mark Twain a wonderful cure for all ailments, + and he heralded the discovery far and wide. He wrote to friends far + and near advising them to try Kellgren for anything they might + happen to have. Whatever its beginning, any letter was likely to + close with some mention of the new panacea. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, traveling in Europe: + + SANNA, Sept. 6, '99. +DEAR JOE,--I've no business in here--I ought to be outside. I shall +never see another sunset to begin with it this side of heaven. Venice? +land, what a poor interest that is! This is the place to be. I have +seen about 60 sunsets here; and a good 40 of them were clear and away +beyond anything I had ever imagined before for dainty and exquisite and +marvellous beauty and infinite change and variety. America? Italy? The +tropics? They have no notion of what a sunset ought to be. And this +one--this unspeakable wonder! It discounts all the rest. It brings the +tears, it is so unutterably beautiful. + +If I had time, I would say a word about this curative system here. The +people actually do several of the great things the Christian Scientists +pretend to do. You wish to advise with a physician about it? Certainly. +There is no objection. He knows next to something about his own trade, +but that will not embarrass him in framing a verdict about this one. +I respect your superstitions--we all have them. It would be quite +natural for the cautious Chinaman to ask his native priest to instruct +him as to the value of the new religious specialty which the Western +missionary is trying to put on the market, before investing in it. (He +would get a verdict.) + Love to you all! + Always Yours + MARK. + + Howells wrote that he was going on a reading-tour-dreading it, of + course-and asking for any advice that Clemens felt qualified to + give. Naturally, Clemens gave him the latest he had in stock, + without realizing, perhaps, that he was recommending an individual + practice which few would be likely to imitate. Nevertheless, what + he says is interesting. + + + To W. D. Howells, in America: + + SANNA, SWEDEN, Sept. 26, '99. +DEAR HOWELLS,--Get your lecture by heart--it will pay you. I learned a +trick in Vienna--by accident--which I wish I had learned years ago. I +meant to read from a Tauchnitz, because I knew I hadn't well memorized +the pieces; and I came on with the book and read a few sentences, then +remembered that the sketch needed a few words of explanatory +introduction; and so, lowering the book and now and then unconsciously +using it to gesture with, I talked the introduction, and it happened to +carry me into the sketch itself, and then I went on, pretending that I +was merely talking extraneous matter and would come to the sketch +presently. It was a beautiful success. I knew the substance of the +sketch and the telling phrases of it; and so, the throwing of the rest of +it into informal talk as I went along limbered it up and gave it the snap +and go and freshness of an impromptu. I was to read several pieces, and +I played the same game with all of them, and always the audience thought +I was being reminded of outside things and throwing them in, and was +going to hold up the book and begin on the sketch presently--and so I +always got through the sketch before they were entirely sure that it had +begun. I did the same thing in Budapest and had the same good time over +again. It's a new dodge, and the best one that was ever invented. Try +it. You'll never lose your audience--not even for a moment. Their +attention is fixed, and never wavers. And that is not the case where one +reads from book or MS., or where he stands up without a note and frankly +exposes the fact, by his confident manner and smooth phrasing, that he is +not improvising, but reciting from memory. And in the heat of telling a +thing that is memorised in substance only, one flashes out the happiest +suddenly-begotten phrases every now and then! Try it. Such a phrase has +a life and sparkle about it that twice as good a one could not exhibit if +prepared beforehand, and it "fetches" an audience in such an enthusing +and inspiring and uplifting way that that lucky phrase breeds another +one, sure. + +Your September instalment--["Their Silver Wedding journey."]--was +delicious--every word of it. You haven't lost any of your splendid art. +Callers have arrived. + With love + MARK. + + + "Yes," wrote Howells, "if I were a great histrionic artist like you + I would get my poor essays by heart, and recite them, but being what + I am I should do the thing so lifelessly that I had better recognise + their deadness frankly and read them." + + From Vienna Clemens had contributed to the Cosmopolitan, then owned + by John Brisben Walker, his first article on Christian Science. It + was a delicious bit of humor and found such enthusiastic + appreciation that Walker was moved to send an additional $200 check + in payment for it. This brought prompt acknowledgment. + + + To John Brisben Walker, in Irvington, N. Y.: + + LONDON, Oct. 19, '99 +DEAR MR. WALKER,--By gracious but you have a talent for making a man feel +proud and good! To say a compliment well is a high art--and few possess +it. You know how to do it, and when you confirm its sincerity with a +handsome cheque the limit is reached and compliment can no higher go. +I like to work for you: when you don't approve an article you say so, +recognizing that I am not a child and can stand it; and when you approve +an article I don't have to dicker with you as if I raised peanuts and you +kept a stand; I know I shall get every penny the article is worth. + +You have given me very great pleasure, and I thank you for it. + Sincerely Yours + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + On the same day he sent word to Howells of the good luck which now + seemed to be coming his way. The Joan of Arc introduction was the + same that today appears in his collected works under the title of + Saint Joan of Arc. + + + To W. D. Howells, in New York: + + LONDON, Oct. 19, '99. +DEAR HOWELLS,--My, it's a lucky day!--of the sort when it never rains but +it pours. I was to write an introduction to a nobler book--the English +translation of the Official Record (unabridged) of the Trials and +Rehabilitation of Joan of Arc, and make a lot of footnotes. I wrote the +introduction in Sweden, and here a few days ago I tore loose from a tale +I am writing, and took the MS book and went at the grind of note-making +--a fearful job for a man not used to it. This morning brought a note +from my excellent friend Murray, a rich Englishman who edits the +translation, saying, "Never mind the notes--we'll make the translators do +them." That was comfort and joy. + +The same mail brought a note from Canon Wilberforce, asking me to talk +Joan of Arc in his drawing-room to the Dukes and Earls and M. P.'s-- +(which would fetch me out of my seclusion and into print, and I couldn't +have that,) and so of course I must run down to the Abbey and explain-- +and lose an hour. Just then came Murray and said "Leave that to me +--I'll go and do the explaining and put the thing off 3 months; you write +a note and tell him I am coming." + +(Which I did, later.) Wilberforce carried off my hat from a lunch party +last summer, and in to-day's note he said he wouldn't steal my new hat +this time. In my note I said I couldn't make the drawing-room talk, now +--Murray would explain; and added a P. S.: "You mustn't think it is +because I am afraid to trust my hat in your reach again, for I assure you +upon honor it isn't. I should bring my old one." + +I had suggested to Murray a fortnight ago, that he get some big guns to +write introductory monographs for the book. + +Miss X, Joan's Voices and Prophecies. + +The Lord Chief Justice of England, the legal prodigies which she +performed before her judges. + +Lord Roberts, her military genius. + +Kipling, her patriotism. + +And so on. When he came this morning he said he had captured Miss X; +that Lord Roberts and Kipling were going to take hold and see if they +could do monographs worthy of the book. He hadn't run the others to +cover yet, but was on their track. Very good news. It is a grand book, +and is entitled to the best efforts of the best people. As for me, I +took pains with my Introduction, and I admit that it is no slouch of a +performance. + +Then I came down to Chatto's, and found your all too beautiful letter, +and was lifted higher than ever. Next came letters from America properly +glorifying my Christian Science article in the Cosmopolitan (and one +roundly abusing it,) and a letter from John Brisben Walker enclosing $200 +additional pay for the article (he had already paid enough, but I didn't +mention that--which wasn't right of me, for this is the second time he +has done such a thing, whereas Gilder has done it only once and no one +else ever.) I make no prices with Walker and Gilder--I can trust them. + +And last of all came a letter from M-. How I do wish that man was in +hell. Even-the briefest line from that idiot puts me in a rage. + +But on the whole it has been a delightful day, and with M----in hell it +would have been perfect. But that will happen, and I can wait. + +Ah, if I could look into the inside of people as you do, and put it on +paper, and invent things for them to do and say, and tell how they said +it, I could writs a fine and readable book now, for I've got a prime +subject. I've written 30,000 words of it and satisfied myself that the +stuff is there; so I am going to discard that MS and begin all over again +and have a good time with it. + +Oh, I know how you feel! I've been in hell myself. You are there +tonight. By difference in time you are at luncheon, now--and not eating +it. Nothing is so lonesome as gadding around platforming. I have +declined 45 lectures to-day-England and Scotland. I wanted the money, +but not the torture: Good luck to you!--and repentance. + With love to all of you + MARK. + + + + + +LETTERS OF 1900, MAINLY TO TWICHELL. THE BOER WAR. BOXER TROUBLES. +THE RETURN TO AMERICA + +The New Year found Clemens still in London, chiefly interested in +osteopathy and characteristically glorifying the practice at the expense +of other healing methods. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LONDON, Jan. 8, 1900. +DEAR JOE,--Mental Telepathy has scored another. Mental Telegraphy will +be greatly respected a century hence. + +By the accident of writing my sister and describing to her the remarkable +cures made by Kellgren with his hands and without drugs, I brought upon +myself a quite stunning surprise; for she wrote to me that she had been +taking this very treatment in Buffalo--and that it was an American +invention. + +Well, it does really turn out that Dr. Still, in the middle of Kansas, in +a village, began to experiment in 1874, only five years after Kellgren +began the same work obscurely in the village of Gotha, in Germany. Dr. +Still seems to be an honest man; therefore I am persuaded that Kellgren +moved him to his experiments by Mental Telegraphy across six hours of +longitude, without need of a wire. By the time Still began to +experiment, Kellgren had completed his development of the principles of +his system and established himself in a good practice in London--1874 +--and was in good shape to convey his discovery to Kansas, Mental +Telegraphically. + +Yes, I was greatly surprised to find that my mare's nest was much in +arrears: that this new science was well known in America under the name +of Osteopathy. Since then, I find that in the past 3 years it has got +itself legalized in 14 States in spite of the opposition of the +physicians; that it has established 20 Osteopathic schools and colleges; +that among its students are 75 allopathic physicians; that there is a +school in Boston and another in Philadelphia, that there are about 100 +students in the parent college (Dr. Still's at Kirksville, Missouri,) and +that there are about 2,000 graduates practicing in America. Dear me, +there are not 30 in Europe. Europe is so sunk in superstitions and +prejudices that it is an almost impossible thing to get her to do +anything but scoff at a new thing--unless it come from abroad; as witness +the telegraph, dentistry, &c. + +Presently the Osteopath will come over here from America and will soon +make himself a power that must be recognized and reckoned with; and then, +25 years from now, England will begin to claim the invention and tell all +about its origin, in the Cyclopedia B-----as in the case of the +telegraph, applied anaesthetics and the other benefactions which she +heaped her abuse upon when her inventors first offered them to her. + +I cannot help feeling rather inordinately proud of America for the gay +and hearty way in which she takes hold of any new thing that comes along +and gives it a first rate trial. Many an ass in America, is getting a +deal of benefit out of X-Science's new exploitation of an age-old healing +principle--faith, combined with the patient's imagination--let it boom +along! I have no objection. Let them call it by what name they choose, +so long as it does helpful work among the class which is numerically +vastly the largest bulk of the human race, i.e. the fools, the idiots, +the pudd'nheads. + +We do not guess, we know that 9 in 10 of the species are pudd'nheads. +We know it by various evidences; and one of them is, that for ages the +race has respected (and almost venerated) the physician's grotesque +system--the emptying of miscellaneous and harmful drugs into a person's +stomach to remove ailments which in many cases the drugs could not reach +at all; in many cases could reach and help, but only at cost of damage to +some other part of the man; and in the remainder of the cases the drug +either retarded the cure, or the disease was cured by nature in spite of +the nostrums. The doctor's insane system has not only been permitted to +continue its follies for ages, but has been protected by the State and +made a close monopoly--an infamous thing, a crime against a free-man's +proper right to choose his own assassin or his own method of defending +his body against disease and death. + +And yet at the same time, with curious and senile inconsistency, the +State has allowed the man to choose his own assassin--in one detail--the +patent-medicine detail--making itself the protector of that perilous +business, collecting money out of it, and appointing no committee of +experts to examine the medicines and forbid them when extra dangerous. +Really, when a man can prove that he is not a jackass, I think he is in +the way to prove that he is no legitimate member of the race. + +I have by me a list of 52 human ailments--common ones--and in this list I +count 19 which the physician's art cannot cure. But there isn't one +which Osteopathy or Kellgren cannot cure, if the patient comes early. + +Fifteen years ago I had a deep reverence for the physician and the +surgeon. But 6 months of closely watching the Kellgren business has +revolutionized all that, and now I have neither reverence nor respect for +the physician's trade, and scarcely any for the surgeon's,--I am +convinced that of all quackeries, the physician's is the grotesquest and +the silliest. And they know they are shams and humbugs. They have taken +the place of those augurs who couldn't look each other in the face +without laughing. + +See what a powerful hold our ancient superstitions have upon us: two +weeks ago, when Livy committed an incredible imprudence and by +consequence was promptly stricken down with a heavy triple attack-- +influenza, bronchitis, and a lung affected--she recognized the gravity of +the situation, and her old superstitions rose: she thought she ought to +send for a doctor--Think of it--the last man in the world I should want +around at such a time. Of course I did not say no--not that I was +indisposed to take the responsibility, for I was not, my notion of a +dangerous responsibility being quite the other way--but because it is +unsafe to distress a sick person; I only said we knew no good doctor, +and it could not be good policy to choose at hazard; so she allowed me to +send for Kellgren. To-day she is up and around-Lured. It is safe to say +that persons hit in the same way at the same time are in bed yet, and +booked to stay there a good while, and to be in a shackly condition and +afraid of their shadows for a couple of years or more to come. + +It will be seen by the foregoing that Mark Twain's interest in the +Kellgren system was still an ardent one. Indeed, for a time he gave most +of his thought to it, and wrote several long appreciations, perhaps with +little idea of publication, but merely to get his enthusiasm physically +expressed. War, however, presently supplanted medicine--the Boer +troubles in South Africa and the Boxer insurrection in China. It was a +disturbing, exciting year. + + + To W. D. Howells, in Boston: + + WELLINGTON COURT, KNIGHTSBRIDGE, + Jan. 25, 1900. +DEAR HOWELLS,--If you got half as much as Pond prophesied, be content and +praise God--it has not happened to another. But I am sorry he didn't go +with you; for it is marvelous to hear him yarn. He is good company, +cheery and hearty, and his mill is never idle. Your doing a lecture tour +was heroic. It was the highest order of grit, and you have a right to be +proud of yourself. No mount of applause or money or both could save it +from being a hell to a man constituted as you are. It is that even to +me, who am made of coarser stuff. + +I knew the audiences would come forward and shake hands with you--that +one infallible sign of sincere approval. In all my life, wherever it +failed me I left the hall sick and ashamed, knowing what it meant. + +Privately speaking, this is a sordid and criminal war, and in every way +shameful and excuseless. Every day I write (in my head) bitter magazine +articles about it, but I have to stop with that. For England must not +fall; it would mean an inundation of Russian and German political +degradations which would envelop the globe and steep it in a sort of +Middle-Age night and slavery which would last till Christ comes again. +Even wrong--and she is wrong--England must be upheld. He is an enemy of +the human race who shall speak against her now. Why was the human race +created? Or at least why wasn't something creditable created in place of +it. God had his opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, +He must commit this grotesque folly--a lark which must have cost him a +regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects. For a +giddy and unbecoming caprice there has been nothing like it till this +war. I talk the war with both sides--always waiting until the other man +introduces the topic. Then I say "My head is with the Briton, but my +heart and such rags of morals as I have are with the Boer--now we will +talk, unembarrassed and without prejudice." And so we discuss, and have +no trouble. + + Jan. 26. +It was my intention to make some disparaging remarks about the human +race; and so I kept this letter open for that purpose, and for the +purpose of telling my dream, wherein the Trinity were trying to guess a +conundrum, but I can do better--for I can snip out of the "Times" various +samples and side-lights which bring the race down to date, and expose it +as of yesterday. If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a +paper which fails to show up one or more members and beneficiaries of our +Civilization as promenading in his shirt-tail, with the rest of his +regalia in the wash. + +I love to see the holy ones air their smug pieties and admire them and +smirk over them, and at the same moment frankly and publicly show their +contempt for the pieties of the Boer--confidently expecting the approval +of the country and the pulpit, and getting it. + +I notice that God is on both sides in this war; thus history repeats +itself. But I am the only person who has noticed this; everybody here +thinks He is playing the game for this side, and for this side only. + + With great love to you all + MARK. + + + One cannot help wondering what Mark Twain would have thought of + human nature had he lived to see the great World War, fought mainly + by the Christian nations who for nearly two thousand years had been + preaching peace on earth and goodwill toward men. But his opinion + of the race could hardly have been worse than it was. And nothing + that human beings could do would have surprised him. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + LONDON, Jan. 27, 1900. +DEAR JOE,--Apparently we are not proposing to set the Filipinos free and +give their islands to them; and apparently we are not proposing to hang +the priests and confiscate their property. If these things are so, the +war out there has no interest for me. + +I have just been examining chapter LXX of "Following the Equator," to see +if the Boer's old military effectiveness is holding out. It reads +curiously as if it had been written about the present war. + +I believe that in the next chapter my notion of the Boer was rightly +conceived. He is popularly called uncivilized, I do not know why. +Happiness, food, shelter, clothing, wholesale labor, modest and rational +ambitions, honesty, kindliness, hospitality, love of freedom and +limitless courage to fight for it, composure and fortitude in time of +disaster, patience in time of hardship and privation, absence of noise +and brag in time of victory, contentment with a humble and peaceful life +void of insane excitements--if there is a higher and better form of +civilization than this, I am not aware of it and do not know where to +look for it. I suppose we have the habit of imagining that a lot of +artistic, intellectual and other artificialities must be added, or it +isn't complete. We and the English have these latter; but as we lack the +great bulk of these others, I think the Boer civilization is the best of +the two. My idea of our civilization is that it is a shabby poor thing +and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogancies, meannesses, and +hypocrisies. As for the word, I hate the sound of it, for it conveys a +lie; and as for the thing itself, I wish it was in hell, where it +belongs. + +Provided we could get something better in the place of it. But that is +not possible, perhaps. Poor as it is, it is better than real savagery, +therefore we must stand by it, extend it, and (in public) praise it. +And so we must not utter any hateful word about England in these days, +nor fail to hope that she will win in this war, for her defeat and fall +would be an irremediable disaster for the mangy human race.... Naturally, +then, I am for England; but she is profoundly in the wrong, Joe, and no +(instructed) Englishman doubts it. At least that is my belief. + +Maybe I managed to make myself misunderstood, as to the Osteopathists. +I wanted to know how the men impress you. As to their Art, I know fairly +well about that, and should not value Hartford's opinion of it; nor a +physician's; nor that of another who proposed to enlighten me out of his +ignorance. Opinions based upon theory, superstition and ignorance are +not very precious. + +Livy and the others are off for the country for a day or two. + Love to you all + MARK. + + + The next letter affords a pleasant variation. Without doubt it was + written on realizing that good nature and enthusiasm had led him + into indiscretion. This was always happening to him, and letters + like this are not infrequent, though generally less entertaining. + + + To Mr. Ann, in London: + + WELLINGTON COURT, Feb. 23, '00. +DEAR MR. ANN,--Upon sober second thought, it won't do!--I withdraw that +letter. Not because I said anything in it which is not true, for I +didn't; but because when I allow my name to be used in forwarding a +stock-scheme I am assuming a certain degree of responsibility as toward +the investor, and I am not willing to do that. I have another objection, +a purely selfish one: trading upon my name, whether the enterprise scored +a success or a failure would damage me. I can't afford that; even the +Archbishop of Canterbury couldn't afford it, and he has more character to +spare than I have. (Ah, a happy thought! If he would sign the letter +with me that would change the whole complexion of the thing, of course. +I do not know him, yet I would sign any commercial scheme that he would +sign. As he does not know me, it follows that he would sign anything +that I would sign. This is unassailable logic--but really that is all +that can be said for it.) + +No, I withdraw the letter. This virgin is pure up to date, and is going +to remain so. + Ys sincerely, + S. L. C. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + WELLINGTON COURT, + KNIGHTSBRIDGE, Mch. 4, '00. +DEAR JOE,--Henry Robinson's death is a sharp wound to me, and it goes +very deep. I had a strong affection for him, and I think he had for me. +Every Friday, three-fourths of the year for 16 years he was of the +billiard-party in our house. When we come home, how shall we have +billiard-nights again--with no Ned Bunce and no Henry Robinson? +I believe I could not endure that. We must find another use for that +room. Susy is gone, George is gone, Libby Hamersley, Ned Bunce, Henry +Robinson. The friends are passing, one by one; our house, where such +warm blood and such dear blood flowed so freely, is become a cemetery. +But not in any repellent sense. Our dead are welcome there; their life +made it beautiful, their death has hallowed it, we shall have them with +us always, and there will be no parting. + +It was a moving address you made over Ward Cheney--that fortunate, youth! +Like Susy, he got out of life all that was worth the living, and got his +great reward before he had crossed the tropic frontier of dreams and +entered the Sahara of fact. The deep consciousness of Susy's good +fortune is a constant comfort to me. + +London is happy-hearted at last. The British victories have swept the +clouds away and there are no uncheerful faces. For three months the +private dinner parties (we go to no public ones) have been Lodges of +Sorrow, and just a little depressing sometimes; but now they are smiley +and animated again. Joe, do you know the Irish gentleman and the Irish +lady, the Scotch gentleman and the Scotch lady? These are darlings, +every one. Night before last it was all Irish--24. One would have to +travel far to match their ease and sociability and animation and sparkle +and absence of shyness and self-consciousness. + +It was American in these fine qualities. This was at Mr. Lecky's. He is +Irish, you know. Last night it was Irish again, at Lady Gregory's. Lord +Roberts is Irish; and Sir William Butler; and Kitchener, I think; and a +disproportion of the other prominent Generals are of Irish and Scotch +breed-keeping up the traditions of Wellington, and Sir Colin Campbell of +the Mutiny. You will have noticed that in S. A. as in the Mutiny, it is +usually the Irish and the Scotch that are placed in the fore-front of the +battle. An Irish friend of mine says this is because the Kelts are +idealists, and enthusiasts, with age-old heroisms to emulate and keep +bright before the world; but that the low-class Englishman is dull and +without ideals, fighting bull-doggishly while he has a leader, but losing +his head and going to pieces when his leader falls--not so with the Kelt. +Sir Wm. Butler said "the Kelt is the spear-head of the British lance." + Love to you all. + MARK. + + + The Henry Robinson mentioned in the foregoing letter was Henry C. + Robinson, one-time Governor of Connecticut, long a dear and intimate + friend of the Clemens household. "Lecky" was W. E. H. Lecky, the + Irish historian whose History of European Morals had been, for many + years, one of Mark Twain's favorite books: + + In July the Clemenses left the small apartment at 30 Wellington + Court and established a summer household a little way out of London, + at Dollis Hill. To-day the place has been given to the public under + the name of Gladstone Park, so called for the reason that in an + earlier time Gladstone had frequently visited there. It was a + beautiful spot, a place of green grass and spreading oaks. In a + letter in which Mrs. Clemens wrote to her sister she said: "It is + simply divinely beautiful and peaceful; the great, old trees are + beyond everything. I believe nowhere in the world do you find such + trees as in England." Clemens wrote to Twichell: "From the house + you can see little but spacious stretches of hay-fields and green + turf..... Yet the massed, brick blocks of London are reachable in + three minutes on a horse. By rail we can be in the heart of London, + in Baker Street, in seventeen minutes--by a smart train in five." + + Mail, however, would seem to have been less prompt. + + + To the Editor of the Times, in London: + +SIR,--It has often been claimed that the London postal service was +swifter than that of New York, and I have always believed that the claim +was justified. But a doubt has lately sprung up in my mind. I live +eight miles from Printing House Square; the Times leaves that point at 4 +o'clock in the morning, by mail, and reaches me at 5 in the afternoon, +thus making the trip in thirteen hours. + +It is my conviction that in New York we should do it in eleven. + + C. +DOLLIS HILL, N. W. + + + To Rev. J. H. Twichell, in Hartford: + + DOLLIS HILL HOUSE, KILBURN, N. W. + LONDON, Aug. 12, '00. +DEAR JOE,--The Sages Prof. Fiske and Brander Matthews were out here to +tea a week ago and it was a breath of American air to see them. We +furnished them a bright day and comfortable weather--and they used it all +up, in their extravagant American way. Since then we have sat by coal +fires, evenings. + +We shall sail for home sometime in October, but shall winter in New York +where we can have an osteopath of good repute to continue the work of +putting this family in proper condition. + +Livy and I dined with the Chief justice a month ago and he was as well- +conditioned as an athlete. + +It is all China, now, and my sympathies are with the Chinese. They have +been villainously dealt with by the sceptred thieves of Europe, and I +hope they will drive all the foreigners out and keep them out for good. +I only wish it; of course I don't really expect it. + +Why, hang it, it occurs to me that by the time we reach New York you +Twichells will be invading Europe and once more we shall miss the +connection. This is thoroughly exasperating. Aren't we ever going to +meet again? + With no end of love from all of us, + MARK. + +P. S. Aug. 18. +DEAR JOE,--It is 7.30 a. m. I have been waking very early, lately. If +it occurs once more, it will be habit; then I will submit and adopt it. + +This is our day of mourning. It is four years since Susy died; it is +five years and a month that I saw her alive for the last time-throwing +kisses at us from the railway platform when we started West around the +world. + +Sometimes it is a century; sometimes it was yesterday. + With love + MARK. + + + We discover in the foregoing letter that the long European residence + was drawing to an end. More than nine years had passed since the + closing of the Hartford house--eventful years that had seen failure, + bereavement, battle with debt, and rehabilitated fortunes. All the + family were anxious to get home--Mark Twain most anxious of all. + + They closed Dollis Hill House near the end of September, and put up + for a brief period at a family hotel, an amusing picture of which + follows. + + + To J. Y. M. MacAlister, in London: + + Sep. 1900. +MY DEAR MACALISTER,--We do really start next Saturday. I meant to sail +earlier, but waited to finish some studies of what are called Family +Hotels. They are a London specialty, God has not permitted them to exist +elsewhere; they are ramshackle clubs which were dwellings at the time of +the Heptarchy. Dover and Albemarle Streets are filled with them. The +once spacious rooms are split up into coops which afford as much +discomfort as can be had anywhere out of jail for any money. All the +modern inconveniences are furnished, and some that have been obsolete for +a century. The prices are astonishingly high for what you get. The +bedrooms are hospitals for incurable furniture. I find it so in this +one. They exist upon a tradition; they represent the vanishing home-like +inn of fifty years ago, and are mistaken by foreigners for it. Some +quite respectable Englishmen still frequent them through inherited habit +and arrested development; many Americans also, through ignorance and +superstition. The rooms are as interesting as the Tower of London, but +older I think. Older and dearer. The lift was a gift of William the +Conqueror, some of the beds are prehistoric. They represent geological +periods. Mine is the oldest. It is formed in strata of Old Red +Sandstone, volcanic tufa, ignis fatuus, and bicarbonate of hornblende, +superimposed upon argillaceous shale, and contains the prints of +prehistoric man. It is in No. 149. Thousands of scientists come to see +it. They consider it holy. They want to blast out the prints but +cannot. Dynamite rebounds from it. + +Finished studies and sail Saturday in Minnehaha. + Yours ever affectionately, + MARK TWAIN. + + + They sailed for New York October 6th, and something more than a week + later America gave them a royal welcome. The press, far and wide, + sounded Mark Twain's praises once more; dinners and receptions were + offered on every hand; editors and lecture agents clamored for him. + + The family settled in the Earlington Hotel during a period of house- + hunting. They hoped eventually to return to Hartford, but after a + brief visit paid by Clemens alone to the old place he wrote: + + + To Sylvester Baxter, in Boston: + + NEW YORK, Oct. 26, 1900. +DEAR MR. BAXTER,--It was a great pleasure to me to renew the other days +with you, and there was a pathetic pleasure in seeing Hartford and the +house again; but I realize that if we ever enter the house again to live, +our hearts will break. I am not sure that we shall ever be strong enough +to endure that strain. + Sincerely yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + Mr. and Mrs. Rogers wished to have them in their neighborhood, but + the houses there were not suitable, or were too expensive. Through + Mr. Frank Doubleday they eventually found, at 14 West Tenth Street, + a large residence handsomely furnished, and this they engaged for + the winter. "We were lucky to get this big house furnished," he + wrote MacAlister in London. "There was not another one in town + procurable that would answer us, but this one is all right--space + enough in it for several families, the rooms all old-fashioned, + great size." + + The little note that follows shows that Mark Twain had not entirely + forgotten the days of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. + + + To a Neighbor on West Tenth Street, New York: + + Nov. 30. +DEAR MADAM,--I know I ought to respect my duty and perform it, but I am +weak and faithless where boys are concerned, and I can't help secretly +approving pretty bad and noisy ones, though I do object to the kind that +ring door-bells. My family try to get me to stop the boys from holding +conventions on the front steps, but I basely shirk out of it, because I +think the boys enjoy it. + +My wife has been complaining to me this evening about the boys on the +front steps and under compulsion I have made some promises. But I am +very forgetful, now that I am old, and my sense of duty is getting +spongy. + Very truly yours, + S. L. CLEMENS. + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters Vol. 4, by Mark Twain + diff --git a/old/mt4lt11.zip b/old/mt4lt11.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ded0064 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/mt4lt11.zip |