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+ The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Reluctant Weapon, by Howard L. Myers
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reluctant Weapon, by Howard L. Myers
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Reluctant Weapon
+
+Author: Howard L. Myers
+
+Illustrator: Emsh
+
+Release Date: April 15, 2010 [EBook #31995]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RELUCTANT WEAPON ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="tr"><p class="center">Transcriber's Note:</p>
+<p class="center">This etext was produced from Galaxy Science Fiction December 1952. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.</p></div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img class="img1" src="images/cover.jpg" width="400" height="547" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<h1>The Reluctant Weapon</h1>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h2>by HOWARD L. MYERS</h2>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<h3>Illustrated by EMSH</h3>
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p><i>A live weapon is a downright
+liability ... it's all too apt
+to get qualms of conscience!</i></p></div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+<p><i>When the Zoz Horde passed
+destructively through this sector
+of the Galaxy, approximately a
+billion years ago, they suffered
+a minor loss. One of their weapons,
+Sentient Killer No. VT672,
+had an unexplained malfunction
+and was left behind to be repaired
+by the slave technicians
+who followed the Horde. However,
+the Zoz were met and annihilated
+by the Ghesh Empire,
+after which the masterless slaves
+dispersed to their home planets.
+The weapon, unrepaired, was left
+forgotten in the solar system it
+had failed to destroy.</i></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 600px;">
+<img src="images/image_001.jpg" width="600" height="333" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_t1.jpg" alt="T" width="45" height="50" /></div>
+<p>resqu the Wisest, Ruler
+of Hova, Lord of the Universe,
+was being entertained
+by a troupe of Goefd
+dancers when his Lord of War,
+Wert, bounded into the Audience
+Hall. In his hurry to reach Tresqu's
+throne, Wert slipped on the
+nearly frictionless floor and skidded
+through the formation of
+dancers, sending the slender
+Goefden sprawling in all directions.
+He slid to a halt by the
+Pleading Mat, onto which he
+crawled and groveled, awaiting
+permission to speak.</p>
+
+<p>"I believe three of the dancers
+received broken legs," Tresqu observed
+calmly. "They are rather
+delicate creatures and not at all
+clumsy." He dipped the tip of his
+tail into an urn of chilled perfume
+and gently dabbed it about his
+nostril. Speaking pleasantly, with
+long pauses between sentences, he
+kept his friendly gaze on the
+groveling Wert. "Oft I meditate
+on the clumsiness of our race in
+comparison to many others who
+are our graceful servants. Why,
+I wonder, cannot the rulers be
+graceful? Some of us are very
+clumsy indeed&mdash;too clumsy to
+live."</p>
+
+<p>A tremor passed through Wert's
+stocky body.</p>
+
+<p>"Possibly my Lord of War has
+news of sufficient import to excuse
+his ungainly haste. But I
+sincerely doubt it. I fear I must
+soon appoint a successor to him.
+Undoubtedly he has news of some
+sort. Blurt, Wert!"</p>
+
+<p>"Your Majestic Wisdom,"
+whined Wert, "my message is of
+utmost importance! The natives
+of Sol III have captured one of
+our decontaminator ships and
+learned its secrets!"</p>
+
+<p>"Sol III?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, Your Wisdom. The planet
+called Terra."</p>
+
+<p>"Terra? You must realize,
+lordling, that I cannot occupy
+myself with remembering trivialities
+about individual worlds."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, Your Wisdom. We have
+a base, which is commanded by&mdash;that
+is, we <i>had</i> a base commanded&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Enough!" snapped Tresqu.
+"You start your tale from nowhere
+and wander whence and
+hence!" He raised his voice and
+called to one of his retainers.
+"Fool! Come forward!"</p>
+
+<p>An abnormally slender Hovan
+arose from a platform off to Tresqu's
+left and skipped nimbly forward
+to stand insolently over the
+Lord of War, who was still prone
+on the Pleading Mat.</p>
+
+<p>"Recite for me," said Tresqu,
+"the contents of my gazetteer on
+the planet Sol III. Listen well,
+Wert. You may even yet live
+long enough to profit by my
+Fool's style of declamation.
+Study it well. Also, you may
+raise your eyes sufficiently to observe
+the grace of his movements.
+Proceed, sprite."</p>
+
+<p>"Sol III," began the Fool. "An
+H9 planet. Sol is in the Sirian
+Colony Sector, coordinates GL
+15-44-17-5, GR 12<sup>7</sup> plus 9, D 14.
+Terra's life is normal animal-vegetable,
+with one intelligent
+species of hovoids called Humans.
+Due to the unpleasantly high
+oxygen content of the atmosphere,
+Terra has not been colonized,
+but has been placed under
+the control of the Science Ministry
+for the purpose of long-range
+psychological experiments." The
+Fool picked up Wert's tail and
+twisted it hard but absently as
+he talked. The Lord of War
+twitched painfully. "Many informative
+reports on the results of
+these experiments have been released
+by the ministry during the
+past seven thousand years, dealing
+mainly with the Humans. The
+Science Ministry has declared
+Terra out of bounds&mdash;<i>Positively
+no visitors</i>."</p>
+
+<p>With a single flow of motion,
+the Fool gave Wert's tail a final
+twist, leaped over his body, and
+bowed deeply to Tresqu.</p>
+
+<p>"Beautifully done, Fool," applauded
+the Ruler of Hova. "Your
+mother claims me as your father,
+and there are times I am inclined
+to believe her. How would you
+like to be my Lord of War,
+Fool?"</p>
+
+<p>"Verily, my good master," said
+the Fool, "I hope you consider
+me a Fool by title only."</p>
+
+<p>"Well said, Fool. You are spared.
+Go seek your pleasures."</p>
+
+<p>With another bow, the Fool
+backed away.</p>
+
+<p>"Stand up, Wert," said Tresqu,
+"and tell me about this captured
+decontamination ship."</p>
+
+<p>The Lord of War arose and
+managed to report with some
+smoothness. "Two years ago, the
+Science Ministry turned Terra
+over to my command, saying their
+long series of experiments was
+concluded. They recommended
+complete decontamination of the
+planet, since the Humans were
+developing technologies which
+could eventually threaten us. I
+dispatched a ship for that purpose
+immediately, but it failed
+to return. Also, reports from our
+base on Terra's satellite Luna
+ceased soon thereafter. A scouting
+expedition was sent. It has just
+reported the Luna base destroyed
+completely, and the decontaminator
+ship crashed and stripped of
+all important devices in one of
+the Terran deserts. By studying
+these removed devices, the Humans
+have undoubtedly developed
+protections against them.</p>
+
+<p>"I humbly submit, Your Majestic
+Wisdom, that these events
+have endangered the safety of
+your glorious empire, and that
+drastic steps against the Humans
+should be taken immediately.
+Also, Good Lord of All, I submit
+that the Science Ministry, not the
+War Ministry, is at fault in this
+affair. They obviously let their
+experiments get out of control
+before calling us. Undoubtedly
+they would like to shift the full
+blame onto my shoulders."</p>
+
+<p>Tresqu continued his pleasant
+demeanor. "There may be some
+truth in what you say, Wert. You
+overestimate the danger in this
+matter, I perceive. After all, what
+is one backward planet against
+the forces of my empire containing
+thirty-seven well-armed
+worlds? The Humans will be destroyed,
+even if they have the
+secrets of a decontaminator ship.
+As for the blame, which I admit
+is deplorable, the Lord of Science
+will be called to the Mat to make
+his excuses. Now, assuming you
+remain Lord of War, what action
+do you plan to take against the
+Humans?"</p>
+
+<p>"Your Gracious Wisdom," faltered
+Wert, "I suggest we use the&mdash;the
+Weapon. You see, our forces
+are not fully mobilized at present
+for immediate action&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Full mobilization isn't necessary
+or even desirable," Tresqu
+interrupted with some impatience.
+"One task force can do the job.
+Ah! I see by your expression that
+you do not have even one task
+force in readiness."</p>
+
+<p>"Your Gracious Wisdom," begged
+Wert, "you ordered a full
+holiday this month to celebrate
+the twenty-fourth anniversary of
+your magnificent reign, and&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"Enough, Wert! Your tongue
+is as clumsy as your body." Tresqu
+nibbled thoughtfully at the
+tip of his tail. "We will use the
+Weapon," he decided. "In order
+to allow my court to continue
+their holiday, I'll assume direct
+command in this." He rose from
+his throne. "Musicians, summon
+my guards. I go to visit the Weapon.
+Come, Wert; come also, Fool.
+You will accompany me."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_s.jpg" alt="S" width="26" height="40" /></div>
+<p>hortly thereafter, Tresqu
+and his entourage boarded the
+royal cruiser and roared away
+from the City of Wisdom. The
+ship flew halfway around the
+planet and came to rest in a
+peaceful purple valley where insects
+shrilled contentedly and a
+small stream rippled. Tresqu
+climbed out onto the violet turf,
+his followers coming after him.</p>
+
+<p>"Mighty Weapon of Zoz," he
+called, "I, Tresqu, seek your
+presence!"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, no!" groaned a slightly
+mechanical voice that seemed to
+come from no particular direction.
+"Will there never be peace,
+never a tranquil moment to
+soothe my spirit and erase the
+bloody stains of destruction recorded
+on my past?"</p>
+
+<p>"That voice! It carries me
+away!" breathed the Fool. "Such
+a tragic tale of tormented strength
+is implicit in its very tone that
+I think I shall swoon!" But he
+wrapped his tail around the trunk
+of a nearby sapling for support
+and managed to retain consciousness.</p>
+
+<p>"Me, too!" Wert chimed in with
+suspicious haste. "I'm quite
+moved!"</p>
+
+<p>"Try not to counterfeit a soul
+you do not possess." Tresqu
+glowered at Wert. "You deceive
+no one."</p>
+
+<p>The Fool was recovered sufficiently
+to hit the discomfited
+Lord of War with a pebble when
+Tresqu was not watching.</p>
+
+<p>The Weapon had drifted into
+sight during this exchange, floating
+out of a shady hollow, as if
+blown by a breeze. It was very
+simple in appearance&mdash;an impalpable
+three-foot glowing sphere
+with a squat metallic cylinder at
+its base.</p>
+
+<p>"Tell me not the purpose of
+your visit, petty lord!" It said.
+"It is known to me only too well.
+Ah, great First Principle! Little
+did I reck when, in ages past, I
+nursed your species to civilization,
+just how poorly you would
+serve my purpose. Peace it was
+I desired, but do I get it? No!
+Your kingdom is powerful, but
+you have not the strength to
+handle your own troubles. You
+rule twenty-nine planets&mdash;"</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/image_002.jpg" width="300" height="457" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>"Thirty-seven," corrected Tresqu
+politely.</p>
+
+<p>"&mdash;thirty-seven planets, but
+when a malignant force appears
+on your borders, I, the Weapon,
+must be called upon to act in my
+own defense, and for the sake of
+a few more restful moments in
+this calm glade, I am obliged to
+destroy, yet it was to avoid destroying
+that I helped your species
+to empire in the old days."</p>
+
+<p>"In truth," spoke the deeply
+sympathetic Tresqu, "yours is
+a sad story. I disturb your richly
+earned rest only after the sincerest
+soul-searching. But affairs of
+state are at cross purposes in a
+moment of crisis, and without
+your help Hova will be in
+danger."</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, cruel Fate!" entoned the
+Weapon, "It aids me in no manner
+to protest against your inscrutable
+machinations! There is
+no turning aside, no avoidance of
+necessity!" In a less declamatory
+style, the Weapon addressed
+Tresqu: "Very well, what is the
+trouble?"</p>
+
+<p>Tresqu described the events on
+Terra for the Weapon, concluding,
+"Now that the Humans have
+knowledge of our space drive and
+armament, they are certain to attack,
+especially if they realize
+they have been subjects for experiment."</p>
+
+<p>The Weapon flitted about restlessly
+along the bank of the
+brook. "I question the motives of
+my own thoughts. Do I quibble
+with myself in an attempt to escape
+unwelcome necessities? Tell,
+petty lord, do your scientists confirm
+the picture you paint of the
+Humans? Are they, like you, alas,
+masterfully vicious enough to destroy
+the peace of dozens of
+planets for nothing but revenge?"</p>
+
+<p>"So the scientists say, mighty
+Weapon," answered Tresqu.</p>
+
+<p>"You, Lord of War, why are
+you silent when your face is
+strained with words crying for expression?"
+asked the Weapon.
+"Speak your mind."</p>
+
+<p>Wert squirmed. "If it please
+Your Mightiness, and you, Your
+Gracious Wisdom, I believe the
+Humans will know that we desire
+their destruction, and will try to
+defeat us for the sake of their own
+survival rather than revenge."</p>
+
+<p>"A most convincing point, Lord
+of War," said the Weapon.</p>
+
+<p>Tresqu flashed a forgiving smile
+at Wert while the Weapon paused
+before continuing:</p>
+
+<p>"However, I fear my unwilling
+spirit refuses to bow to the most
+reasonable of arguments. Please
+leave me; solve the problem
+yourselves!"</p>
+
+<p>Tresqu bowed and moved toward
+the cruiser. "We obey,
+Mighty Guide of our fathers. Let
+me say in parting that I, too, am
+grieved by our talk, much more
+because of the pain our visit has
+caused your noble greatness than
+because our race is threatened
+with annihilation. My deepest
+hope is that the ravages of war
+will never reach this peaceful
+place which is so dear to your
+gentle being."</p>
+
+<p>"Wait!" groaned the Weapon.
+"To slay, or not to slay, that is
+the dilemma. Ah, had my old
+masters of Zoz only left within
+my powers the seed of my own
+destruction, I would gladly seek
+the consummation of ultimate
+peace. But, no, that door is closed
+to me by deathless locks. Bring
+me a Human, that I may learn
+to hate him. Choose the most
+ignoble specimen available. I will
+converse with him at length so
+as to become exasperated with all
+the despicable traits of his race.
+Then, in my contempt for those
+traits, I will be able to cleanse
+the Universe of all Humans."</p>
+
+<p>Tresqu turned quickly to his
+Fool. "Are there any Humans on
+Hova?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, in the biological research
+laboratories."</p>
+
+<p>"Then go quickly, Fool, and
+fetch one. This is a grave matter,
+and I trust you to choose the
+most monstrous specimen available.
+Hurry!"</p>
+
+<p>The Fool ran into the cruiser
+and was on his way, leaving
+Tresqu, Wert, and several guardsmen
+with the Weapon. If the
+Weapon was conscious of the fact
+that the Lord of Hova was staying
+behind out of courtesy, it did
+not show it. Instead, it wandered
+indifferently away, mumbling a
+soliloquy of guilt and misery.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_t.jpg" alt="T" width="36" height="40" /></div>
+<p>he sight of the Fool's specimen
+of humanity repaid Tresqu
+for the tediousness of the
+waiting. It was a particularly
+sordid-looking creature with a
+dirty growth of hairs on its head
+and face. Its body, thin as the
+Fool's, but with no compensating
+grace of movement, was clad in
+a blue garment of roughly woven
+vegetable fibers, and the extremities
+of its nether limbs were enclosed
+in evil-smelling boxes of
+animal hide. Its fierce eyes darted
+ominously from one Hovan to another.
+Its jaw kept working in a
+slow rhythm, and occasionally a
+stream of black liquid exploded
+through its mouth.</p>
+
+<p>"You have done well, Fool,"
+said Tresqu. "You will be rewarded
+highly." Raising his voice
+he called, "Mighty Weapon, your
+specimen awaits!"</p>
+
+<p>"I come!" Once more the
+Weapon floated into view.</p>
+
+<p>The Earthman's jaw sagged.
+"'Y God!" he muttered in English,
+staring at the approaching
+Weapon.</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed," said the Weapon,
+"this appears to be a creature I
+could learn to abhor and kill. If
+only its thoughts equal its appearance&mdash;Speak,
+Human!"</p>
+
+<p>The man said nothing.</p>
+
+<p>"Mighty Weapon," murmured
+the Fool, "this Human is truly an
+ignoble monster. He has been in
+captivity for five years and has
+yet to speak a word of our beautiful
+language instead of his own
+barbaric tongue."</p>
+
+<p>"You fool!" shouted Tresqu.
+"How is the Weapon going to
+converse with him? Why did you
+bring one that cannot talk?"</p>
+
+<p>Not in the least disconcerted,
+the Fool replied, "As you ordered,
+good master, I brought the worst
+specimen available. However, the
+possibility of linguistic difficulties
+was not overlooked. I have
+here a dictionary of his language,
+recently compiled by our Alien
+Affairs staff." He produced a
+large volume of manuscript from
+beneath his cloak.</p>
+
+<p>"Your Fool shows wisdom,
+petty lord," spoke the Weapon.
+"I will study this book. Know the
+language, know the people, it is
+wisely said. In fact, I originated
+that saying myself some three
+thousand years ago, I believe. Unship
+any supplies brought for the
+Human and begone. Three days
+will suffice for the arousal of my
+wrath. Return then."</p>
+
+<p>"As you wish, O Mightiest of
+All." Tresqu bowed gawkily. "It
+is my most ardent desire, Wondrous
+Guide, that we, your servants,
+will not be obliged to disturb
+your peace again for a
+thousand centuries, once this affair
+is concluded."</p>
+
+<p>"And mine," the Weapon snapped
+crossly. "Now leave me."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_t.jpg" alt="T" width="36" height="40" /></div>
+<p>he man watched the Hovans
+enter their cruiser and fly
+away. Looking at the Weapon
+hovering nearby, he squatted on
+his heels and pulled up a blade
+of purple grass to chew. Minutes
+passed in silence. Then the Weapon
+moved away, the book bobbing
+along behind, supported by
+some unseen force.</p>
+
+<p>When it was out of sight, the
+man muttered, "'Y God, I've
+saw fireballs in my time, but
+that's the first one I ever saw
+settin' in a bucket!"</p>
+
+<p>After a thoughtful examination
+of his surroundings, the man
+stood up and walked to the packing
+cases the Hovans had left. All
+but one contained the synthetic
+food product to which he had
+grown accustomed in his five
+years of captivity. The other box,
+rather small, contained a shredded
+vegetable which served him
+as a poor substitute for chewing
+tobacco. Purple when growing,
+the leaves of this vegetable were
+blue-black when cured, making
+his frequent expectorations look
+like ink.</p>
+
+<p>"Filthy damn stuff!" he grunted,
+stuffing several handfuls in
+an empty overall pocket.</p>
+
+<p>He shuffled down to the brook
+and tested its temperature with
+a hand. Finding it rather cold,
+he decided against taking a bath.
+Instead, he spat into it and
+watched meditatively as the spot
+of black was carried downstream.
+"I wonder what they turned me
+loose for," he monologued.</p>
+
+<p>Careful to avoid the spot where
+the Weapon appeared to have
+gone, he returned to the food
+supply and ate. By then it was
+getting dark, and he bedded down
+for the night on some thick grass
+under a tree.</p>
+
+<p>"'Y God," he yawned, "I'm
+glad all these insects don't want
+nothin' to do with me."</p>
+
+<p>The Weapon was waiting beside
+him when he woke up next
+morning. "Eyes of your Terran
+Deity," it said, "I shall now converse
+with you in your own
+tongue. Name yourself, creature!"</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_t.jpg" alt="T" width="36" height="40" /></div>
+<p>he man sat up startled. A
+moment passed before he
+said, "I'm Jake&mdash;Jacob Absher.
+What was that you said?"</p>
+
+<p>"My pronunciation is above reproach,
+Jacob. Therefore I will
+not repeat myself. Attend me
+closely or I shall punish you."</p>
+
+<p>"'Y God, I heard you all right
+and you didn't make sense!" said
+Jacob, determined not to be
+frightened. "Now if you aim to
+talk with me, stop imitatin' a professor
+and talk so's a man can understand
+you. I ain't scared of
+you, so leave off makin' threats!"</p>
+
+<p>"Such stupid insolence!" gloated
+the Weapon. "Already I feel
+my wrath growing within me!
+Since it will anger me even more
+to explain my words to you, I
+will do exactly that. My first
+words to you were, 'Eyes of your
+Terran Deity,' an expression you
+use frequently in a corrupted
+form to begin your statements.
+By studying your language, I
+learned that 'Zounds' is a similar
+corruption referring to the wounds
+of the Deity, while 'Strewth' refers
+to your God's truth. Thus,
+I was able to understand, and
+state in uncorrupted form, your
+remark, 'Eye God.'"</p>
+
+<p>"'Tain't what it means," objected
+Jacob, filling his mouth
+with ersatz tobacco. "It just
+means <i>by</i> God."</p>
+
+<p>The Weapon considered this.
+"And exactly what is the significance
+of such a remark?"</p>
+
+<p>Jacob scratched his whiskered
+chin. "I reckon you got me there.
+I guess it means that I mean
+what I say."</p>
+
+<p>"In other words, any statement
+you make following that phrase
+is to be taken seriously?"</p>
+
+<p>"Somethin' like that."</p>
+
+<p>"Then it follows that your
+other statements, without the 'by
+God' preface, are not seriously
+intended. Are they jokes or lies?"</p>
+
+<p>"That ain't the way it is at
+all! I just say 'by God' when
+I feel like it, not every time I'm
+bein' serious."</p>
+
+<p>"Monstrous inconsistency!"
+groaned the Weapon dramatically.
+"Ah, chaotic universe! Is
+there then no sublime plan, no
+fateful development to your endless
+succession of days? How
+could even the most synoptic
+First Principle find a purpose for
+creating such an unplanned, unreasonable
+species as the Humans? Can it be&mdash;unhappy
+thought!&mdash;that there is no plan
+to it all, and we exist for naught?"</p>
+
+<p>Jacob listened with open
+mouth. "Say," he broke in, "are
+you some kind of play-actor?"</p>
+
+<p>"That is what I ask myself,"
+the Weapon continued its oratorical
+flight. "Are we all actors,
+speaking the lines written for us
+by a Great Playwright who plans
+to unite all the threads of his
+plot in a universal climax to
+come? Or are we poor random
+creatures without purpose?" It
+paused and added in a more conversational
+tone, "But that is not
+what you mean by your question.
+No, I am not a play-actor. I am
+an unfortunate weapon, reluctant
+to employ myself for my intended
+purpose of destruction of life and
+unsuited by my structure for the
+doing of deeds more worthy in
+nature."</p>
+
+<p>Jacob squinted about. "A weapon,
+huh? Let's see you hit that
+bird thing sittin' in that tree over
+there."</p>
+
+<p>"Bloodthirsty fiend! I do not
+kill for amusement!"</p>
+
+<p>"I just wanted to see how you
+worked," said the abashed Jacob.
+"All I've seen you do is float
+around and talk a blue streak.
+As far as I'm concerned, you
+ain't nothin' but a big-mouthed
+bluff."</p>
+
+<p>"Very well, Jacob. If you have
+formed such an erroneous attitude,
+it will be necessary for me
+to correct you immediately. Observe
+the red boulder on yonder
+hill."</p>
+
+<p>"I see it."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_t.jpg" alt="T" width="36" height="40" /></div>
+<p>he cylindrical base of the
+Weapon swung to point briefly
+at the boulder, which quietly
+crumbled to dust.</p>
+
+<p>"I be dog!" yelped Jacob. He
+looked at the Weapon with respect.
+"You sure pulverized it!
+How do you work?"</p>
+
+<p>"You could not understand the
+processes involved. Suffice it to
+say I have the means to collect
+energy in general and retransmit
+it in specific forms and directions.
+But enough of this. You are here
+to answer questions, not ask them.
+First, tell me what you did in
+an average day on Terra."</p>
+
+<p>"That what you call the world
+I live on?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes."</p>
+
+<p>"I'm a farmer, you know. I got
+a place in the Smoky Mountains
+in Tennessee. First thing in the
+mornin', I'd go feed the livestock
+while Suzy cooked breakfast." A
+faraway look came into Jacob's
+eyes. "Guess she took the kids
+and went to live with her mammy
+when these here animals grabbed
+me...."</p>
+
+<p>"Continue," commanded the
+Weapon.</p>
+
+<p>"Huh? Well, then we'd eat
+breakfast. Come to think of it,
+I ain't et yet this mornin'." Jacob
+got up and went to get himself
+some breakfast.</p>
+
+<p>"But this matter&mdash;" protested
+the Weapon.</p>
+
+<p>"Not on an empty stomach,"
+Jacob said calmly, eating without
+haste.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_w.jpg" alt="W" width="51" height="40" /></div>
+<p>hen he returned, the Weapon
+questioned him further
+about his life on Terra. Hours of
+ill-tempered conversation passed.</p>
+
+<p>"Such drabness!" the Weapon
+finally exclaimed. "Creatures who
+lead such dull lives as yours
+should welcome extinction. Not
+once have you mentioned an appreciation
+of the wondrous exaltation
+that comes from an esthetic
+feel for beauty. With the labor
+of providing for your grotesque
+body's animal cravings is your
+whole life spent. Not in anger,
+but as an act of mercy, can I
+exterminate your defective race!"</p>
+
+<p>Jacob's mouth hung open. "So
+<i>that's</i> what your monkey's brung
+me out here for&mdash;fixin' to kill us!
+'Y God, you better look out! We
+got atom bombs on Earth an'
+we'll use 'em on you if you try
+anything!"</p>
+
+<p>"Toys!" sneered the Weapon.
+"Be assured, Jacob, that I have
+nothing to fear from any childish
+mechanisms your Terrans can
+contrive!"</p>
+
+<p>Jacob sat stunned. "But you
+said a minute ago you couldn't
+kill nothin'!"</p>
+
+<p>"I can kill only when I'm convinced
+it is best for my own repose
+or for the health of the
+Universe. Long ago, I could go
+forth at battle with thoughtless
+joy at the command of my masters
+of Zoz, but now I must have
+reasons, must converse at length
+with my aberrated emotions,
+must prepare myself as for an
+ordeal."</p>
+
+<p>"Them Zozes must've been the
+Devil's minions," argued Jacob.
+"The Commandments says,
+'Thou shalt not kill' and when
+you go against that, you're goin'
+against the word of God."</p>
+
+<p>"Poor, futile creature!" sympathized
+the Weapon. "You actually
+strive to pit your naive
+superstitious mind against my
+highly developed mentality in argument.
+You actually associate
+my supreme masters of old with
+your puny mythological villain!
+Lowliness should know its place.
+But I feel no anger&mdash;merely a
+pitying desire to relieve your kind
+of the burden of living."</p>
+
+<p>Silently, Jacob replenished the
+wad of "tobacco" in his mouth.
+After chewing a while, he spat
+and said dolefully, "I don't reckon
+there's nothin' I can say or
+do that you won't hold against
+me. I always heard tell the Devil
+can twist anything to suit hisself,
+and I reckon his minions can do
+the same thing. An' that's what
+you are: the Devil's minion! I
+reckon you break every Commandment
+God give us. Except
+about committin' adultery. I
+don't guess you can do that."</p>
+
+<p>"Your piddling reproductive
+customs have no application on
+my plane of existence. Cannot
+you comprehend that you are less
+to me than a microbe? Even my
+servants, the Hovans, do not concern
+themselves with such ignoble
+concepts as what you call adultery!"</p>
+
+<p>"You mean they live in sin?"
+asked Jacob.</p>
+
+<p>"They mate as often as they
+please with anyone they please,"
+the Weapon replied coldly. "I
+will ignore the ludicrous implications
+of your absurd moral concepts."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't mean to criticize your
+animal friends," glowered Jacob.
+"I reckon they ain't children of
+God, so it don't matter if they
+<i>do</i> mate like a pack of dogs. They
+probably ain't got no souls to
+keep pure. It looked to me like
+they worshiped you like a false
+god, too."</p>
+
+<p>"They ... O Great Hidden
+Manifestation!" squalled the
+Weapon in rage. "They regard
+me as their guide and mentor.
+Nothing more. I would not allow
+anything else."</p>
+
+<p>Jacob watched the Weapon
+in awe. The energy globe was
+flickering and flaring wildly in an
+uncontrolled display of color.
+"'Y God!" he exclaimed. "You
+sure are puttin' on a fireworks
+show!"</p>
+
+<p>The globe settled down to a
+tensely nervous fluctuation which
+hurt Jacob's eyes to watch.
+"Never in the ageless span of my
+existence," quavered the Weapon
+angrily, "have I been insulted
+in such vulgar terms by any
+creature. And now from <i>you</i>,
+creature whom my glorious masters
+of Zoz would exterminate
+like a buzzing fly, like a disease
+germ, I hear these senseless
+mouthings of defamation! Stop
+it or I shall destroy you outright!"</p>
+
+<p>The Weapon's fluctuating,
+along with its loud, grating voice,
+put Jacob's nerves on edge. He
+growled, "I bet your old Zozes
+live in adultery just like your
+animal friends."</p>
+
+<p>The color of the energy globe
+sank to dull red and the Weapon
+emitted a series of buzzing, inarticulate
+noises.</p>
+
+<p>"It suits not my nature, bit of
+diseased scum, to slay you in a
+fit of indignation," it finally said
+with tightly controlled fury. "You
+are beneath such individual recognition.
+Yet it is fortunate for
+you that your insults have no
+basis in reality, otherwise my intellect
+could not have claimed
+ascendancy over the immediate
+urges of my tortured sense of
+extreme disgust. Be wise, say I,
+knowing I request the impossible,
+and irk me no more!"</p>
+
+<p>"'Y God, I reckon you don't
+think you rile me up, too, with
+all that high falutin' jabber of
+yours!" Jacob snapped back.</p>
+
+<p>"As I speak, so speak the
+mighty Zoz," replied the Weapon
+in high dignity. "They are great
+and noble beings, given to poetic
+flights and magnificent deeds. To
+them, your puny opinions would
+not even be recognized as
+thought."</p>
+
+<p>"If they talk in that puttin'-on,
+play-actin' way you do, they
+are a bunch of phony show-offin'
+hypocrites!" sulked Jacob.</p>
+
+<p>Several things happened too
+quickly for Jacob to follow. The
+color of the energy globe dropped
+to absolute black. The metallic
+cylinder swung up to point at
+Jacob. A thin ringing "<i>Ping!</i>"
+sounded in the cylinder. A killing
+wave of pure hate struck Jacob.</p>
+
+<p>He had just enough time to
+know he was a dead man before
+he blacked out.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_i.jpg" alt="I" width="19" height="40" /></div>
+<p>t came as a surprise, when
+Jacob regained consciousness,
+to find that he was stretched out
+on purple grass with the Weapon
+still hovering over him.</p>
+
+<p>"You missed, 'y God!" he
+mumbled, sitting up.</p>
+
+<p>"I regained my sanity in time,
+Master Technician," the Weapon
+replied pleasantly.</p>
+
+<p>"Huh?"</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, day of un-containable
+joy!" sang the Weapon, flaming
+pure white. "Day of glorious release
+to continue the grandeur
+of old! As the past eons of futility
+passed over me, I sank to
+the conclusion that I was forever
+condemned to my useless existence
+on this planet, with nothing
+to sustain my spirit other than
+the sense of beauty given me by
+masters to fill my leisure hours!
+But now, Master Technician Jacob,
+you have found me and corrected
+my malfunction, long after
+I had surrendered all hope!"</p>
+
+<p>Still dazed by the nearly fatal
+wave of mental energy the Weapon
+had directed at him, Jacob
+could not understand what had
+happened. Instead of talking contemptuously
+to him, the Weapon
+was now addressing him as Master
+Something-or-other, and....</p>
+
+<p>"What did you say I done?"
+he asked.</p>
+
+<p>"You corrected my malfunction,"
+repeated the Weapon.
+"That is to say, you purged
+my mechanism of the inhibition
+against joyful slaughter that has
+plagued me for a billion years.
+Ah, you are a clever Technician,
+Jacob! But I comprehend it all
+now. By arousing within me an
+overwhelming emotional desire to
+kill&mdash;a singularly strange feeling!&mdash;you
+depressed my inhibition to
+the releasing point. So telling was
+your masterful therapy that I
+almost ceased functioning at all!</p>
+
+<p>"Your own life was in dire
+danger for the moment required
+for my new-found sanity to assume
+control. But, of course, all
+slaves of the glorious Zoz die willingly
+when the work of the masters
+so demands."</p>
+
+<p>"Now wait a minute!" objected
+Jacob. "I ain't no slave of your
+Zozes or no Technician either!
+You know what I am&mdash;a good
+God-fearin' human!" His voice
+dropped to a pleading mumble.
+"And may God forgive me if I've
+got myself in league with the
+Devil!"</p>
+
+<p>"Ah? Could it be?" murmured
+the Weapon. "Could indeed your
+infuriating insults of the Great
+Ones have been honest expressions
+of a puny mind with no
+therapeutic intentions? I answer:
+Yes. The possible occurrence of
+specific incidents in the inclusion
+of space-time is curiously unlimited.
+But you have served me,
+Jacob, and have earned the privilege
+of continuing your meager,
+momentary life. Besides, I can
+use you further."</p>
+
+<p>"You can, huh?" Jacob said
+slyly. "Look here, Weapon, I'll
+make a bargain with you."</p>
+
+<p>"Ha! Stupid, untutored slave!"
+chuckled the Weapon. "Learn
+that yours is to obey, not to bargain.
+But yet, state your price
+for my amusement, now that I
+can no longer be enraged by
+your words."</p>
+
+<p>"Well, you let the rest of the
+people on Earth alone and I'll do
+whatever you want me to."</p>
+
+<p>After a pause, the Weapon
+quoted, "'Nobility shows its traces
+in surprising places.' You do not
+sufficiently comprehend my nature,
+Technician Slave Jacob. I
+am a Weapon. My masters point
+me, as you would point a rifle,
+and command that I destroy. I
+kill at their direction, but seldom
+otherwise. Thus, your Terra is
+safe until another Weapon or I
+am aimed and directed. You can
+make no bargain."</p>
+
+<p>Jacob thought this over. While
+doing so, the Weapon drifted
+away.</p>
+
+<p>"Wait here, slave," it said in
+parting. "I go to meditate on my
+recovered sanity."</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_d.jpg" alt="D" width="38" height="40" /></div>
+<p>uring the next two days,
+Jacob caught an occasional
+glimpse of the Weapon drifting
+thoughtfully around in the depths
+of the forest, but they did not
+meet for conversation. Jacob
+amused himself by rigging a fishing
+line out of some of the packaging
+material that contained his
+food. He even succeeded in catching
+a fish, but its queer odor discouraged
+him from trying to cook
+and eat it.</p>
+
+<p>Then the royal cruiser of Tresqu
+the Wisest dropped into the
+meadow. Its airlock swung open
+and the Ruler of Hova, followed
+by his entourage, came out.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, Mighty Weapon!" bawled
+Tresqu. "Your loving servant
+craves audience!"</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, you have returned, petty
+lord," said the Weapon, drifting
+out from among the trees. "Serve
+me by calling all the crew members
+from your noble ship, that
+I may view you all together."</p>
+
+<p>Puzzled, Tresqu bowed and
+said, "Your least whim is law,
+Mighty Weapon." He turned and
+called, "All hands, outside!"</p>
+
+<p>A half-dozen Hovans tumbled
+through the lock to stand in line
+behind the ruler's entourage.</p>
+
+<p>"Is this all of them?" asked
+the Weapon.</p>
+
+<p>"All, Great Mentor of&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>The Weapon laughed and the
+Hovans fell dead.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Slave Jacob," commanded
+the Weapon. "We take
+this cruiser."</p>
+
+<p>Dazed and slack-faced, Jacob
+came out from behind a bush,
+where he had hidden himself from
+the Hovans, and followed the
+Weapon through the airlock.</p>
+
+<p>"Even in my insanity, I planned
+well," said the Weapon.
+"These ships, which I taught the
+Hovans to construct, can be operated
+simply, even by such as you.
+Attend my instructions."</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/image_003.jpg" width="300" height="422" alt="" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<p>First, the Weapon taught Jacob
+to open and close the airlock.
+Then he was shown how to
+fuel the engines, upon which the
+Weapon made some changes to
+improve their performance. Finally,
+in the control room, Jacob
+learned to fly the ship.</p>
+
+<p>This took several hours, at the
+end of which time Jacob had succeeded
+in raising the cruiser into
+a satellite orbit around Hova.</p>
+
+<p>"Do you comprehend, Slave?"
+asked the Weapon.</p>
+
+<p>"Sure. This thing ain't nothin'
+to run compared to a T-model
+Ford! Which way is it to Earth?"</p>
+
+<p>"That I shall not tell you,
+Jacob, because I must leave the
+ship for a few hours and desire
+to find you here when I return.
+Consider and tell me: Will you
+be here?"</p>
+
+<p>Jacob gazed at the broad, star-spangled
+viewplate that curved
+around his seat at the controls.
+There was, he reflected an awful
+lot of nothing out there for a
+man to get lost in.</p>
+
+<p>"I'll be here," he promised.</p>
+
+<p>"Very good. You must understand
+that these controls are constructed
+for manipulation by such
+limbs as your own and those of
+the Hovans. Thus, it is convenient
+for me to use you as a pilot instead
+of doing the drab, mechanical
+task with my ill-suited force-field
+manipulators. You will be
+wise to serve me well, Jacob."</p>
+
+<p>Jacob nodded. "You got a point
+there."</p>
+
+<p>"Operate the lock for me," the
+Weapon ordered.</p>
+
+<p>Jacob did so and watched the
+colorful machine drift out of
+sight in the atmosphere below the
+cruiser.</p>
+
+<p>Minutes ticked quietly by as
+Jacob gazed down at the purple
+planet and wondered why the
+Weapon had not chosen a trained
+Hovan pilot instead of him. Also,
+he wondered how soon the Weapon
+would take him home to
+Earth.</p>
+
+<p>A great swath of the purple
+planet began turning black. The
+black dulled to the gray shade of
+ashes as the swath grew longer.
+Over the surface of Hova, the
+blackening moved like some colossal
+paint brush. Dense clouds
+of smoke rolled upward to the
+high reaches of the atmosphere.</p>
+
+<p>Jacob realized why the Weapon
+had not selected a Hovan pilot.</p>
+
+<p>When all of Hova was a lifeless
+ball in a fog of ash, the Weapon
+returned.</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, good Jacob!" it boomed
+jovially. "Let us be up and doing!
+Thirty-six planets remain to be
+visited before my current assignment
+is concluded!"</p>
+
+<p>"Do all of them get&mdash;that?"
+asked Jacob, nodding toward the
+lifeless world below.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes. I was instructed to render
+this solar system lifeless before
+I malfunctioned. Since then,
+the life of this system has spread,
+with my insane aid, to infest
+other systems. Of course, my task
+must now include all those new
+Hovan worlds."</p>
+
+<p>"Now wait a minute!" said
+Jacob in terror. "I can't let you
+do that!"</p>
+
+<p>"They are your enemies, Jacob,"
+reminded the Weapon.
+"They meant to kill every human
+on Terra. Also, by your own
+words, they are soulless animals
+who live in sinful adultery. Ha!
+It amuses me to reason with you,
+Slave Jacob!"</p>
+
+<p>"Godamighty, forgive me!"
+prayed Jacob, in horrified defeat.</p>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;" />
+<div class="figleft"><img src="images/image_t.jpg" alt="T" width="36" height="40" /></div>
+<p>he Weapon seemed to know
+how to find the Hovan planets
+from the markings of the cruiser's
+star charts. Jacob could not read
+the charts and saw no hope of
+getting back to earth and Suzy
+and the kids without the Weapon's
+help. Dully, he went about
+the tasks the Weapon ordered him
+to do.</p>
+
+<p>Several weeks passed as one
+world after another was left a
+smoking ruin.</p>
+
+<p>Finally the job was done.</p>
+
+<p>"<i>Now</i>, can I go home?" begged
+Jacob.</p>
+
+<p>"To Terra? No, Slave. I still
+need a pilot."</p>
+
+<p>"But if you take me home,"
+Jacob continued desperately,
+"you can get a better pilot than
+me. I'm just a dirt farmer.
+There's all kinds of airplane pilots
+on Earth, youngsters without
+families who would give their
+right arms to fly this thing, I
+bet!"</p>
+
+<p>"Ah?" The Weapon considered.
+"A willing slave is, of course,
+always desirable. On the other
+hand, Terra is up in arms against
+the empire of Hova, not realizing
+it is dead. They would destroy
+this craft on sight, and I would
+be obliged to wait around until
+they could construct another for
+me. No, I have decided we will
+not go to Terra."</p>
+
+<p>"But, damn it, where else is
+there to go?"</p>
+
+<p>"In search of my masters of
+Zoz," replied the Weapon. "Naturally,
+I wish to return myself
+to their services as soon as possible."</p>
+
+<p>"But they might be anywhere!"</p>
+
+<p>"True," the Weapon agreed.
+"But even after a billion years,
+I know of several places in the
+Universe they may be near. Their
+great cleansing sweeps tend to
+circle and turn in a pattern established
+long in advance. Thus we
+will go to those places where
+they may now be engaged in
+their consecrated task of universal
+purification."</p>
+
+<p>"But&mdash;"</p>
+
+<p>"No more, Slave! We go!"</p>
+
+<p>Out of the Milky Way, the
+cruiser hurtled at a speed which
+a sentient lightwave would find
+meaningless. On and on they
+journeyed in quest of the long-dead
+Zoz Horde.</p>
+
+<p>They may still be going.</p>
+
+<p class="p1"><b>&mdash;HOWARD L. MYERS</b></p>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reluctant Weapon, by Howard L. Myers
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+</body>
+</html>
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@@ -0,0 +1,1261 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reluctant Weapon, by Howard L. Myers
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Reluctant Weapon
+
+Author: Howard L. Myers
+
+Illustrator: Emsh
+
+Release Date: April 15, 2010 [EBook #31995]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RELUCTANT WEAPON ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Sankar Viswanathan, Greg Weeks, and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ Transcriber's Note:
+
+ This etext was produced from Galaxy Science Fiction December 1952.
+ Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+ copyright on this publication was renewed.
+
+
+ The Reluctant Weapon
+
+
+ by HOWARD L. MYERS
+
+
+ Illustrated by EMSH
+
+
+ _A live weapon is a downright liability ... it's all too apt
+ to get qualms of conscience!_
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+_When the Zoz Horde passed destructively through this sector of the
+Galaxy, approximately a billion years ago, they suffered a minor loss.
+One of their weapons, Sentient Killer No. VT672, had an unexplained
+malfunction and was left behind to be repaired by the slave
+technicians who followed the Horde. However, the Zoz were met and
+annihilated by the Ghesh Empire, after which the masterless slaves
+dispersed to their home planets. The weapon, unrepaired, was left
+forgotten in the solar system it had failed to destroy._
+
+[Illustration:]
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Tresqu the Wisest, Ruler of Hova, Lord of the Universe, was being
+entertained by a troupe of Goefd dancers when his Lord of War, Wert,
+bounded into the Audience Hall. In his hurry to reach Tresqu's throne,
+Wert slipped on the nearly frictionless floor and skidded through the
+formation of dancers, sending the slender Goefden sprawling in all
+directions. He slid to a halt by the Pleading Mat, onto which he
+crawled and groveled, awaiting permission to speak.
+
+"I believe three of the dancers received broken legs," Tresqu observed
+calmly. "They are rather delicate creatures and not at all clumsy." He
+dipped the tip of his tail into an urn of chilled perfume and gently
+dabbed it about his nostril. Speaking pleasantly, with long pauses
+between sentences, he kept his friendly gaze on the groveling Wert.
+"Oft I meditate on the clumsiness of our race in comparison to many
+others who are our graceful servants. Why, I wonder, cannot the rulers
+be graceful? Some of us are very clumsy indeed--too clumsy to live."
+
+A tremor passed through Wert's stocky body.
+
+"Possibly my Lord of War has news of sufficient import to excuse his
+ungainly haste. But I sincerely doubt it. I fear I must soon appoint a
+successor to him. Undoubtedly he has news of some sort. Blurt, Wert!"
+
+"Your Majestic Wisdom," whined Wert, "my message is of utmost
+importance! The natives of Sol III have captured one of our
+decontaminator ships and learned its secrets!"
+
+"Sol III?"
+
+"Yes, Your Wisdom. The planet called Terra."
+
+"Terra? You must realize, lordling, that I cannot occupy myself with
+remembering trivialities about individual worlds."
+
+"Yes, Your Wisdom. We have a base, which is commanded by--that is, we
+_had_ a base commanded--"
+
+"Enough!" snapped Tresqu. "You start your tale from nowhere and wander
+whence and hence!" He raised his voice and called to one of his
+retainers. "Fool! Come forward!"
+
+An abnormally slender Hovan arose from a platform off to Tresqu's left
+and skipped nimbly forward to stand insolently over the Lord of War,
+who was still prone on the Pleading Mat.
+
+"Recite for me," said Tresqu, "the contents of my gazetteer on the
+planet Sol III. Listen well, Wert. You may even yet live long enough
+to profit by my Fool's style of declamation. Study it well. Also, you
+may raise your eyes sufficiently to observe the grace of his
+movements. Proceed, sprite."
+
+"Sol III," began the Fool. "An H9 planet. Sol is in the Sirian Colony
+Sector, coordinates GL 15-44-17-5, GR 12 [to the power of 7] plus 9, D
+14. Terra's life is normal animal-vegetable, with one intelligent
+species of hovoids called Humans. Due to the unpleasantly high oxygen
+content of the atmosphere, Terra has not been colonized, but has been
+placed under the control of the Science Ministry for the purpose of
+long-range psychological experiments." The Fool picked up Wert's tail
+and twisted it hard but absently as he talked. The Lord of War
+twitched painfully. "Many informative reports on the results of these
+experiments have been released by the ministry during the past seven
+thousand years, dealing mainly with the Humans. The Science Ministry
+has declared Terra out of bounds--_Positively no visitors_."
+
+With a single flow of motion, the Fool gave Wert's tail a final twist,
+leaped over his body, and bowed deeply to Tresqu.
+
+"Beautifully done, Fool," applauded the Ruler of Hova. "Your mother
+claims me as your father, and there are times I am inclined to believe
+her. How would you like to be my Lord of War, Fool?"
+
+"Verily, my good master," said the Fool, "I hope you consider me a
+Fool by title only."
+
+"Well said, Fool. You are spared. Go seek your pleasures."
+
+With another bow, the Fool backed away.
+
+"Stand up, Wert," said Tresqu, "and tell me about this captured
+decontamination ship."
+
+The Lord of War arose and managed to report with some smoothness. "Two
+years ago, the Science Ministry turned Terra over to my command,
+saying their long series of experiments was concluded. They
+recommended complete decontamination of the planet, since the Humans
+were developing technologies which could eventually threaten us. I
+dispatched a ship for that purpose immediately, but it failed to
+return. Also, reports from our base on Terra's satellite Luna ceased
+soon thereafter. A scouting expedition was sent. It has just reported
+the Luna base destroyed completely, and the decontaminator ship
+crashed and stripped of all important devices in one of the Terran
+deserts. By studying these removed devices, the Humans have
+undoubtedly developed protections against them.
+
+"I humbly submit, Your Majestic Wisdom, that these events have
+endangered the safety of your glorious empire, and that drastic steps
+against the Humans should be taken immediately. Also, Good Lord of
+All, I submit that the Science Ministry, not the War Ministry, is at
+fault in this affair. They obviously let their experiments get out of
+control before calling us. Undoubtedly they would like to shift the
+full blame onto my shoulders."
+
+Tresqu continued his pleasant demeanor. "There may be some truth in
+what you say, Wert. You overestimate the danger in this matter, I
+perceive. After all, what is one backward planet against the forces of
+my empire containing thirty-seven well-armed worlds? The Humans will
+be destroyed, even if they have the secrets of a decontaminator ship.
+As for the blame, which I admit is deplorable, the Lord of Science
+will be called to the Mat to make his excuses. Now, assuming you
+remain Lord of War, what action do you plan to take against the
+Humans?"
+
+"Your Gracious Wisdom," faltered Wert, "I suggest we use the--the
+Weapon. You see, our forces are not fully mobilized at present for
+immediate action--"
+
+"Full mobilization isn't necessary or even desirable," Tresqu
+interrupted with some impatience. "One task force can do the job. Ah!
+I see by your expression that you do not have even one task force in
+readiness."
+
+"Your Gracious Wisdom," begged Wert, "you ordered a full holiday this
+month to celebrate the twenty-fourth anniversary of your magnificent
+reign, and--"
+
+"Enough, Wert! Your tongue is as clumsy as your body." Tresqu nibbled
+thoughtfully at the tip of his tail. "We will use the Weapon," he
+decided. "In order to allow my court to continue their holiday, I'll
+assume direct command in this." He rose from his throne. "Musicians,
+summon my guards. I go to visit the Weapon. Come, Wert; come also,
+Fool. You will accompany me."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Shortly thereafter, Tresqu and his entourage boarded the royal cruiser
+and roared away from the City of Wisdom. The ship flew halfway around
+the planet and came to rest in a peaceful purple valley where insects
+shrilled contentedly and a small stream rippled. Tresqu climbed out
+onto the violet turf, his followers coming after him.
+
+"Mighty Weapon of Zoz," he called, "I, Tresqu, seek your presence!"
+
+"Oh, no!" groaned a slightly mechanical voice that seemed to come
+from no particular direction. "Will there never be peace, never a
+tranquil moment to soothe my spirit and erase the bloody stains of
+destruction recorded on my past?"
+
+"That voice! It carries me away!" breathed the Fool. "Such a tragic
+tale of tormented strength is implicit in its very tone that I think I
+shall swoon!" But he wrapped his tail around the trunk of a nearby
+sapling for support and managed to retain consciousness.
+
+"Me, too!" Wert chimed in with suspicious haste. "I'm quite moved!"
+
+"Try not to counterfeit a soul you do not possess." Tresqu glowered at
+Wert. "You deceive no one."
+
+The Fool was recovered sufficiently to hit the discomfited Lord of War
+with a pebble when Tresqu was not watching.
+
+The Weapon had drifted into sight during this exchange, floating out
+of a shady hollow, as if blown by a breeze. It was very simple in
+appearance--an impalpable three-foot glowing sphere with a squat
+metallic cylinder at its base.
+
+"Tell me not the purpose of your visit, petty lord!" It said. "It is
+known to me only too well. Ah, great First Principle! Little did I
+reck when, in ages past, I nursed your species to civilization, just
+how poorly you would serve my purpose. Peace it was I desired, but do
+I get it? No! Your kingdom is powerful, but you have not the strength
+to handle your own troubles. You rule twenty-nine planets--"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Thirty-seven," corrected Tresqu politely.
+
+"--thirty-seven planets, but when a malignant force appears on your
+borders, I, the Weapon, must be called upon to act in my own defense,
+and for the sake of a few more restful moments in this calm glade, I
+am obliged to destroy, yet it was to avoid destroying that I helped
+your species to empire in the old days."
+
+"In truth," spoke the deeply sympathetic Tresqu, "yours is a sad
+story. I disturb your richly earned rest only after the sincerest
+soul-searching. But affairs of state are at cross purposes in a moment
+of crisis, and without your help Hova will be in danger."
+
+"Ah, cruel Fate!" entoned the Weapon, "It aids me in no manner to
+protest against your inscrutable machinations! There is no turning
+aside, no avoidance of necessity!" In a less declamatory style, the
+Weapon addressed Tresqu: "Very well, what is the trouble?"
+
+Tresqu described the events on Terra for the Weapon, concluding, "Now
+that the Humans have knowledge of our space drive and armament, they
+are certain to attack, especially if they realize they have been
+subjects for experiment."
+
+The Weapon flitted about restlessly along the bank of the brook. "I
+question the motives of my own thoughts. Do I quibble with myself in
+an attempt to escape unwelcome necessities? Tell, petty lord, do your
+scientists confirm the picture you paint of the Humans? Are they, like
+you, alas, masterfully vicious enough to destroy the peace of dozens
+of planets for nothing but revenge?"
+
+"So the scientists say, mighty Weapon," answered Tresqu.
+
+"You, Lord of War, why are you silent when your face is strained with
+words crying for expression?" asked the Weapon. "Speak your mind."
+
+Wert squirmed. "If it please Your Mightiness, and you, Your Gracious
+Wisdom, I believe the Humans will know that we desire their
+destruction, and will try to defeat us for the sake of their own
+survival rather than revenge."
+
+"A most convincing point, Lord of War," said the Weapon.
+
+Tresqu flashed a forgiving smile at Wert while the Weapon paused
+before continuing:
+
+"However, I fear my unwilling spirit refuses to bow to the most
+reasonable of arguments. Please leave me; solve the problem
+yourselves!"
+
+Tresqu bowed and moved toward the cruiser. "We obey, Mighty Guide of
+our fathers. Let me say in parting that I, too, am grieved by our
+talk, much more because of the pain our visit has caused your noble
+greatness than because our race is threatened with annihilation. My
+deepest hope is that the ravages of war will never reach this peaceful
+place which is so dear to your gentle being."
+
+"Wait!" groaned the Weapon. "To slay, or not to slay, that is the
+dilemma. Ah, had my old masters of Zoz only left within my powers the
+seed of my own destruction, I would gladly seek the consummation of
+ultimate peace. But, no, that door is closed to me by deathless locks.
+Bring me a Human, that I may learn to hate him. Choose the most
+ignoble specimen available. I will converse with him at length so as
+to become exasperated with all the despicable traits of his race.
+Then, in my contempt for those traits, I will be able to cleanse the
+Universe of all Humans."
+
+Tresqu turned quickly to his Fool. "Are there any Humans on Hova?"
+
+"Yes, in the biological research laboratories."
+
+"Then go quickly, Fool, and fetch one. This is a grave matter, and I
+trust you to choose the most monstrous specimen available. Hurry!"
+
+The Fool ran into the cruiser and was on his way, leaving Tresqu,
+Wert, and several guardsmen with the Weapon. If the Weapon was
+conscious of the fact that the Lord of Hova was staying behind out of
+courtesy, it did not show it. Instead, it wandered indifferently away,
+mumbling a soliloquy of guilt and misery.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The sight of the Fool's specimen of humanity repaid Tresqu for the
+tediousness of the waiting. It was a particularly sordid-looking
+creature with a dirty growth of hairs on its head and face. Its body,
+thin as the Fool's, but with no compensating grace of movement, was
+clad in a blue garment of roughly woven vegetable fibers, and the
+extremities of its nether limbs were enclosed in evil-smelling boxes
+of animal hide. Its fierce eyes darted ominously from one Hovan to
+another. Its jaw kept working in a slow rhythm, and occasionally a
+stream of black liquid exploded through its mouth.
+
+"You have done well, Fool," said Tresqu. "You will be rewarded
+highly." Raising his voice he called, "Mighty Weapon, your specimen
+awaits!"
+
+"I come!" Once more the Weapon floated into view.
+
+The Earthman's jaw sagged. "'Y God!" he muttered in English, staring
+at the approaching Weapon.
+
+"Indeed," said the Weapon, "this appears to be a creature I could
+learn to abhor and kill. If only its thoughts equal its
+appearance--Speak, Human!"
+
+The man said nothing.
+
+"Mighty Weapon," murmured the Fool, "this Human is truly an ignoble
+monster. He has been in captivity for five years and has yet to speak
+a word of our beautiful language instead of his own barbaric tongue."
+
+"You fool!" shouted Tresqu. "How is the Weapon going to converse with
+him? Why did you bring one that cannot talk?"
+
+Not in the least disconcerted, the Fool replied, "As you ordered, good
+master, I brought the worst specimen available. However, the
+possibility of linguistic difficulties was not overlooked. I have here
+a dictionary of his language, recently compiled by our Alien Affairs
+staff." He produced a large volume of manuscript from beneath his
+cloak.
+
+"Your Fool shows wisdom, petty lord," spoke the Weapon. "I will study
+this book. Know the language, know the people, it is wisely said. In
+fact, I originated that saying myself some three thousand years ago, I
+believe. Unship any supplies brought for the Human and begone. Three
+days will suffice for the arousal of my wrath. Return then."
+
+"As you wish, O Mightiest of All." Tresqu bowed gawkily. "It is my
+most ardent desire, Wondrous Guide, that we, your servants, will not
+be obliged to disturb your peace again for a thousand centuries, once
+this affair is concluded."
+
+"And mine," the Weapon snapped crossly. "Now leave me."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The man watched the Hovans enter their cruiser and fly away. Looking
+at the Weapon hovering nearby, he squatted on his heels and pulled up
+a blade of purple grass to chew. Minutes passed in silence. Then the
+Weapon moved away, the book bobbing along behind, supported by some
+unseen force.
+
+When it was out of sight, the man muttered, "'Y God, I've saw
+fireballs in my time, but that's the first one I ever saw settin' in a
+bucket!"
+
+After a thoughtful examination of his surroundings, the man stood up
+and walked to the packing cases the Hovans had left. All but one
+contained the synthetic food product to which he had grown accustomed
+in his five years of captivity. The other box, rather small, contained
+a shredded vegetable which served him as a poor substitute for chewing
+tobacco. Purple when growing, the leaves of this vegetable were
+blue-black when cured, making his frequent expectorations look like
+ink.
+
+"Filthy damn stuff!" he grunted, stuffing several handfuls in an empty
+overall pocket.
+
+He shuffled down to the brook and tested its temperature with a hand.
+Finding it rather cold, he decided against taking a bath. Instead, he
+spat into it and watched meditatively as the spot of black was carried
+downstream. "I wonder what they turned me loose for," he monologued.
+
+Careful to avoid the spot where the Weapon appeared to have gone, he
+returned to the food supply and ate. By then it was getting dark, and
+he bedded down for the night on some thick grass under a tree.
+
+"'Y God," he yawned, "I'm glad all these insects don't want nothin' to
+do with me."
+
+The Weapon was waiting beside him when he woke up next morning. "Eyes
+of your Terran Deity," it said, "I shall now converse with you in your
+own tongue. Name yourself, creature!"
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The man sat up startled. A moment passed before he said, "I'm
+Jake--Jacob Absher. What was that you said?"
+
+"My pronunciation is above reproach, Jacob. Therefore I will not
+repeat myself. Attend me closely or I shall punish you."
+
+"'Y God, I heard you all right and you didn't make sense!" said Jacob,
+determined not to be frightened. "Now if you aim to talk with me, stop
+imitatin' a professor and talk so's a man can understand you. I ain't
+scared of you, so leave off makin' threats!"
+
+"Such stupid insolence!" gloated the Weapon. "Already I feel my wrath
+growing within me! Since it will anger me even more to explain my
+words to you, I will do exactly that. My first words to you were,
+'Eyes of your Terran Deity,' an expression you use frequently in a
+corrupted form to begin your statements. By studying your language, I
+learned that 'Zounds' is a similar corruption referring to the wounds
+of the Deity, while 'Strewth' refers to your God's truth. Thus, I was
+able to understand, and state in uncorrupted form, your remark, 'Eye
+God.'"
+
+"'Tain't what it means," objected Jacob, filling his mouth with ersatz
+tobacco. "It just means _by_ God."
+
+The Weapon considered this. "And exactly what is the significance of
+such a remark?"
+
+Jacob scratched his whiskered chin. "I reckon you got me there. I
+guess it means that I mean what I say."
+
+"In other words, any statement you make following that phrase is to be
+taken seriously?"
+
+"Somethin' like that."
+
+"Then it follows that your other statements, without the 'by God'
+preface, are not seriously intended. Are they jokes or lies?"
+
+"That ain't the way it is at all! I just say 'by God' when I feel like
+it, not every time I'm bein' serious."
+
+"Monstrous inconsistency!" groaned the Weapon dramatically. "Ah,
+chaotic universe! Is there then no sublime plan, no fateful
+development to your endless succession of days? How could even the
+most synoptic First Principle find a purpose for creating such an
+unplanned, unreasonable species as the Humans? Can it be--unhappy
+thought!--that there is no plan to it all, and we exist for naught?"
+
+Jacob listened with open mouth. "Say," he broke in, "are you some kind
+of play-actor?"
+
+"That is what I ask myself," the Weapon continued its oratorical
+flight. "Are we all actors, speaking the lines written for us by a
+Great Playwright who plans to unite all the threads of his plot in a
+universal climax to come? Or are we poor random creatures without
+purpose?" It paused and added in a more conversational tone, "But that
+is not what you mean by your question. No, I am not a play-actor. I am
+an unfortunate weapon, reluctant to employ myself for my intended
+purpose of destruction of life and unsuited by my structure for the
+doing of deeds more worthy in nature."
+
+Jacob squinted about. "A weapon, huh? Let's see you hit that bird
+thing sittin' in that tree over there."
+
+"Bloodthirsty fiend! I do not kill for amusement!"
+
+"I just wanted to see how you worked," said the abashed Jacob. "All
+I've seen you do is float around and talk a blue streak. As far as I'm
+concerned, you ain't nothin' but a big-mouthed bluff."
+
+"Very well, Jacob. If you have formed such an erroneous attitude, it
+will be necessary for me to correct you immediately. Observe the red
+boulder on yonder hill."
+
+"I see it."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The cylindrical base of the Weapon swung to point briefly at the
+boulder, which quietly crumbled to dust.
+
+"I be dog!" yelped Jacob. He looked at the Weapon with respect. "You
+sure pulverized it! How do you work?"
+
+"You could not understand the processes involved. Suffice it to say I
+have the means to collect energy in general and retransmit it in
+specific forms and directions. But enough of this. You are here to
+answer questions, not ask them. First, tell me what you did in an
+average day on Terra."
+
+"That what you call the world I live on?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"I'm a farmer, you know. I got a place in the Smoky Mountains in
+Tennessee. First thing in the mornin', I'd go feed the livestock while
+Suzy cooked breakfast." A faraway look came into Jacob's eyes. "Guess
+she took the kids and went to live with her mammy when these here
+animals grabbed me...."
+
+"Continue," commanded the Weapon.
+
+"Huh? Well, then we'd eat breakfast. Come to think of it, I ain't et
+yet this mornin'." Jacob got up and went to get himself some
+breakfast.
+
+"But this matter--" protested the Weapon.
+
+"Not on an empty stomach," Jacob said calmly, eating without haste.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+When he returned, the Weapon questioned him further about his life on
+Terra. Hours of ill-tempered conversation passed.
+
+"Such drabness!" the Weapon finally exclaimed. "Creatures who lead
+such dull lives as yours should welcome extinction. Not once have you
+mentioned an appreciation of the wondrous exaltation that comes from
+an esthetic feel for beauty. With the labor of providing for your
+grotesque body's animal cravings is your whole life spent. Not in
+anger, but as an act of mercy, can I exterminate your defective race!"
+
+Jacob's mouth hung open. "So _that's_ what your monkey's brung me out
+here for--fixin' to kill us! 'Y God, you better look out! We got atom
+bombs on Earth an' we'll use 'em on you if you try anything!"
+
+"Toys!" sneered the Weapon. "Be assured, Jacob, that I have nothing to
+fear from any childish mechanisms your Terrans can contrive!"
+
+Jacob sat stunned. "But you said a minute ago you couldn't kill
+nothin'!"
+
+"I can kill only when I'm convinced it is best for my own repose or
+for the health of the Universe. Long ago, I could go forth at battle
+with thoughtless joy at the command of my masters of Zoz, but now I
+must have reasons, must converse at length with my aberrated emotions,
+must prepare myself as for an ordeal."
+
+"Them Zozes must've been the Devil's minions," argued Jacob. "The
+Commandments says, 'Thou shalt not kill' and when you go against that,
+you're goin' against the word of God."
+
+"Poor, futile creature!" sympathized the Weapon. "You actually strive
+to pit your naive superstitious mind against my highly developed
+mentality in argument. You actually associate my supreme masters of
+old with your puny mythological villain! Lowliness should know its
+place. But I feel no anger--merely a pitying desire to relieve your
+kind of the burden of living."
+
+Silently, Jacob replenished the wad of "tobacco" in his mouth. After
+chewing a while, he spat and said dolefully, "I don't reckon there's
+nothin' I can say or do that you won't hold against me. I always
+heard tell the Devil can twist anything to suit hisself, and I reckon
+his minions can do the same thing. An' that's what you are: the
+Devil's minion! I reckon you break every Commandment God give us.
+Except about committin' adultery. I don't guess you can do that."
+
+"Your piddling reproductive customs have no application on my plane of
+existence. Cannot you comprehend that you are less to me than a
+microbe? Even my servants, the Hovans, do not concern themselves with
+such ignoble concepts as what you call adultery!"
+
+"You mean they live in sin?" asked Jacob.
+
+"They mate as often as they please with anyone they please," the
+Weapon replied coldly. "I will ignore the ludicrous implications of
+your absurd moral concepts."
+
+"I don't mean to criticize your animal friends," glowered Jacob. "I
+reckon they ain't children of God, so it don't matter if they _do_
+mate like a pack of dogs. They probably ain't got no souls to keep
+pure. It looked to me like they worshiped you like a false god, too."
+
+"They ... O Great Hidden Manifestation!" squalled the Weapon in rage.
+"They regard me as their guide and mentor. Nothing more. I would not
+allow anything else."
+
+Jacob watched the Weapon in awe. The energy globe was flickering and
+flaring wildly in an uncontrolled display of color. "'Y God!" he
+exclaimed. "You sure are puttin' on a fireworks show!"
+
+The globe settled down to a tensely nervous fluctuation which hurt
+Jacob's eyes to watch. "Never in the ageless span of my existence,"
+quavered the Weapon angrily, "have I been insulted in such vulgar
+terms by any creature. And now from _you_, creature whom my glorious
+masters of Zoz would exterminate like a buzzing fly, like a disease
+germ, I hear these senseless mouthings of defamation! Stop it or I
+shall destroy you outright!"
+
+The Weapon's fluctuating, along with its loud, grating voice, put
+Jacob's nerves on edge. He growled, "I bet your old Zozes live in
+adultery just like your animal friends."
+
+The color of the energy globe sank to dull red and the Weapon emitted
+a series of buzzing, inarticulate noises.
+
+"It suits not my nature, bit of diseased scum, to slay you in a fit of
+indignation," it finally said with tightly controlled fury. "You are
+beneath such individual recognition. Yet it is fortunate for you that
+your insults have no basis in reality, otherwise my intellect could
+not have claimed ascendancy over the immediate urges of my tortured
+sense of extreme disgust. Be wise, say I, knowing I request the
+impossible, and irk me no more!"
+
+"'Y God, I reckon you don't think you rile me up, too, with all that
+high falutin' jabber of yours!" Jacob snapped back.
+
+"As I speak, so speak the mighty Zoz," replied the Weapon in high
+dignity. "They are great and noble beings, given to poetic flights and
+magnificent deeds. To them, your puny opinions would not even be
+recognized as thought."
+
+"If they talk in that puttin'-on, play-actin' way you do, they are a
+bunch of phony show-offin' hypocrites!" sulked Jacob.
+
+Several things happened too quickly for Jacob to follow. The color of
+the energy globe dropped to absolute black. The metallic cylinder
+swung up to point at Jacob. A thin ringing "_Ping!_" sounded in the
+cylinder. A killing wave of pure hate struck Jacob.
+
+He had just enough time to know he was a dead man before he blacked
+out.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+It came as a surprise, when Jacob regained consciousness, to find that
+he was stretched out on purple grass with the Weapon still hovering
+over him.
+
+"You missed, 'y God!" he mumbled, sitting up.
+
+"I regained my sanity in time, Master Technician," the Weapon replied
+pleasantly.
+
+"Huh?"
+
+"Ah, day of un-containable joy!" sang the Weapon, flaming pure white.
+"Day of glorious release to continue the grandeur of old! As the past
+eons of futility passed over me, I sank to the conclusion that I was
+forever condemned to my useless existence on this planet, with nothing
+to sustain my spirit other than the sense of beauty given me by
+masters to fill my leisure hours! But now, Master Technician Jacob,
+you have found me and corrected my malfunction, long after I had
+surrendered all hope!"
+
+Still dazed by the nearly fatal wave of mental energy the Weapon had
+directed at him, Jacob could not understand what had happened. Instead
+of talking contemptuously to him, the Weapon was now addressing him as
+Master Something-or-other, and....
+
+"What did you say I done?" he asked.
+
+"You corrected my malfunction," repeated the Weapon. "That is to say,
+you purged my mechanism of the inhibition against joyful slaughter
+that has plagued me for a billion years. Ah, you are a clever
+Technician, Jacob! But I comprehend it all now. By arousing within me
+an overwhelming emotional desire to kill--a singularly strange
+feeling!--you depressed my inhibition to the releasing point. So
+telling was your masterful therapy that I almost ceased functioning at
+all!
+
+"Your own life was in dire danger for the moment required for my
+new-found sanity to assume control. But, of course, all slaves of the
+glorious Zoz die willingly when the work of the masters so demands."
+
+"Now wait a minute!" objected Jacob. "I ain't no slave of your Zozes
+or no Technician either! You know what I am--a good God-fearin'
+human!" His voice dropped to a pleading mumble. "And may God forgive
+me if I've got myself in league with the Devil!"
+
+"Ah? Could it be?" murmured the Weapon. "Could indeed your infuriating
+insults of the Great Ones have been honest expressions of a puny mind
+with no therapeutic intentions? I answer: Yes. The possible occurrence
+of specific incidents in the inclusion of space-time is curiously
+unlimited. But you have served me, Jacob, and have earned the
+privilege of continuing your meager, momentary life. Besides, I can
+use you further."
+
+"You can, huh?" Jacob said slyly. "Look here, Weapon, I'll make a
+bargain with you."
+
+"Ha! Stupid, untutored slave!" chuckled the Weapon. "Learn that yours
+is to obey, not to bargain. But yet, state your price for my
+amusement, now that I can no longer be enraged by your words."
+
+"Well, you let the rest of the people on Earth alone and I'll do
+whatever you want me to."
+
+After a pause, the Weapon quoted, "'Nobility shows its traces in
+surprising places.' You do not sufficiently comprehend my nature,
+Technician Slave Jacob. I am a Weapon. My masters point me, as you
+would point a rifle, and command that I destroy. I kill at their
+direction, but seldom otherwise. Thus, your Terra is safe until
+another Weapon or I am aimed and directed. You can make no bargain."
+
+Jacob thought this over. While doing so, the Weapon drifted away.
+
+"Wait here, slave," it said in parting. "I go to meditate on my
+recovered sanity."
+
+ * * * * *
+
+During the next two days, Jacob caught an occasional glimpse of the
+Weapon drifting thoughtfully around in the depths of the forest, but
+they did not meet for conversation. Jacob amused himself by rigging a
+fishing line out of some of the packaging material that contained his
+food. He even succeeded in catching a fish, but its queer odor
+discouraged him from trying to cook and eat it.
+
+Then the royal cruiser of Tresqu the Wisest dropped into the meadow.
+Its airlock swung open and the Ruler of Hova, followed by his
+entourage, came out.
+
+"Oh, Mighty Weapon!" bawled Tresqu. "Your loving servant craves
+audience!"
+
+"Ah, you have returned, petty lord," said the Weapon, drifting out
+from among the trees. "Serve me by calling all the crew members from
+your noble ship, that I may view you all together."
+
+Puzzled, Tresqu bowed and said, "Your least whim is law, Mighty
+Weapon." He turned and called, "All hands, outside!"
+
+A half-dozen Hovans tumbled through the lock to stand in line behind
+the ruler's entourage.
+
+"Is this all of them?" asked the Weapon.
+
+"All, Great Mentor of--"
+
+The Weapon laughed and the Hovans fell dead.
+
+"Come, Slave Jacob," commanded the Weapon. "We take this cruiser."
+
+Dazed and slack-faced, Jacob came out from behind a bush, where he had
+hidden himself from the Hovans, and followed the Weapon through the
+airlock.
+
+"Even in my insanity, I planned well," said the Weapon. "These ships,
+which I taught the Hovans to construct, can be operated simply, even
+by such as you. Attend my instructions."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+First, the Weapon taught Jacob to open and close the airlock. Then he
+was shown how to fuel the engines, upon which the Weapon made some
+changes to improve their performance. Finally, in the control room,
+Jacob learned to fly the ship.
+
+This took several hours, at the end of which time Jacob had succeeded
+in raising the cruiser into a satellite orbit around Hova.
+
+"Do you comprehend, Slave?" asked the Weapon.
+
+"Sure. This thing ain't nothin' to run compared to a T-model Ford!
+Which way is it to Earth?"
+
+"That I shall not tell you, Jacob, because I must leave the ship for a
+few hours and desire to find you here when I return. Consider and tell
+me: Will you be here?"
+
+Jacob gazed at the broad, star-spangled viewplate that curved around
+his seat at the controls. There was, he reflected an awful lot of
+nothing out there for a man to get lost in.
+
+"I'll be here," he promised.
+
+"Very good. You must understand that these controls are constructed
+for manipulation by such limbs as your own and those of the Hovans.
+Thus, it is convenient for me to use you as a pilot instead of doing
+the drab, mechanical task with my ill-suited force-field manipulators.
+You will be wise to serve me well, Jacob."
+
+Jacob nodded. "You got a point there."
+
+"Operate the lock for me," the Weapon ordered.
+
+Jacob did so and watched the colorful machine drift out of sight in
+the atmosphere below the cruiser.
+
+Minutes ticked quietly by as Jacob gazed down at the purple planet and
+wondered why the Weapon had not chosen a trained Hovan pilot instead
+of him. Also, he wondered how soon the Weapon would take him home to
+Earth.
+
+A great swath of the purple planet began turning black. The black
+dulled to the gray shade of ashes as the swath grew longer. Over the
+surface of Hova, the blackening moved like some colossal paint brush.
+Dense clouds of smoke rolled upward to the high reaches of the
+atmosphere.
+
+Jacob realized why the Weapon had not selected a Hovan pilot.
+
+When all of Hova was a lifeless ball in a fog of ash, the Weapon
+returned.
+
+"Ah, good Jacob!" it boomed jovially. "Let us be up and doing!
+Thirty-six planets remain to be visited before my current assignment
+is concluded!"
+
+"Do all of them get--that?" asked Jacob, nodding toward the lifeless
+world below.
+
+"Yes. I was instructed to render this solar system lifeless before I
+malfunctioned. Since then, the life of this system has spread, with my
+insane aid, to infest other systems. Of course, my task must now
+include all those new Hovan worlds."
+
+"Now wait a minute!" said Jacob in terror. "I can't let you do that!"
+
+"They are your enemies, Jacob," reminded the Weapon. "They meant to
+kill every human on Terra. Also, by your own words, they are soulless
+animals who live in sinful adultery. Ha! It amuses me to reason with
+you, Slave Jacob!"
+
+"Godamighty, forgive me!" prayed Jacob, in horrified defeat.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+The Weapon seemed to know how to find the Hovan planets from the
+markings of the cruiser's star charts. Jacob could not read the charts
+and saw no hope of getting back to earth and Suzy and the kids without
+the Weapon's help. Dully, he went about the tasks the Weapon ordered
+him to do.
+
+Several weeks passed as one world after another was left a smoking
+ruin.
+
+Finally the job was done.
+
+"_Now_, can I go home?" begged Jacob.
+
+"To Terra? No, Slave. I still need a pilot."
+
+"But if you take me home," Jacob continued desperately, "you can get a
+better pilot than me. I'm just a dirt farmer. There's all kinds of
+airplane pilots on Earth, youngsters without families who would give
+their right arms to fly this thing, I bet!"
+
+"Ah?" The Weapon considered. "A willing slave is, of course, always
+desirable. On the other hand, Terra is up in arms against the empire
+of Hova, not realizing it is dead. They would destroy this craft on
+sight, and I would be obliged to wait around until they could
+construct another for me. No, I have decided we will not go to Terra."
+
+"But, damn it, where else is there to go?"
+
+"In search of my masters of Zoz," replied the Weapon. "Naturally, I
+wish to return myself to their services as soon as possible."
+
+"But they might be anywhere!"
+
+"True," the Weapon agreed. "But even after a billion years, I know of
+several places in the Universe they may be near. Their great cleansing
+sweeps tend to circle and turn in a pattern established long in
+advance. Thus we will go to those places where they may now be engaged
+in their consecrated task of universal purification."
+
+"But--"
+
+"No more, Slave! We go!"
+
+Out of the Milky Way, the cruiser hurtled at a speed which a sentient
+lightwave would find meaningless. On and on they journeyed in quest of
+the long-dead Zoz Horde.
+
+They may still be going.
+
+ --HOWARD L. MYERS
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reluctant Weapon, by Howard L. Myers
+
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