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+Project Gutenberg's Miss Muffet's Christmas Party, by Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Miss Muffet's Christmas Party
+
+Author: Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+Illustrator: Olive M. Long
+
+Release Date: April 15, 2010 [EBook #31997]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Cover]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+By Samuel M. Crothers
+
+          MEDITATIONS ON VOTES FOR WOMEN.
+          HUMANLY SPEAKING.
+          AMONG FRIENDS.
+          BY THE CHRISTMAS FIRE.
+          THE PARDONER'S WALLET.
+          THE ENDLESS LIFE.
+          THE GENTLE READER.
+          OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES: THE AUTOCRAT AND HIS FELLOW
+              BOARDERS. With Portrait.
+          MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY. Illustrated.
+
+
+          HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
+          BOSTON AND NEW YORK
+
+
+
+
+MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY
+
+[Illustration: _A visitor came_ (page 4)]
+
+
+
+
+MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY
+
+BY
+
+SAMUEL McCHORD CROTHERS
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS BY OLIVE M. LONG
+
+          BOSTON AND NEW YORK
+          HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
+          The Riverside Press Cambridge
+
+
+
+
+          COPYRIGHT 1902 BY SAMUEL McCHORD CROTHERS
+          ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
+
+          _Published November, 1902_
+
+
+
+
+          TO MARGERY
+          BECAUSE, AMONG OTHER THINGS,
+          WE LIKE THE SAME PEOPLE
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  _A visitor came_ (_page 4_)                               Frontispiece
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                    1
+  _Mrs. Muffet had read this in a book_                                2
+  _To meditate on the passage of time_                                 3
+  _The kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on_                          4
+  _Fairly jumped off her tuffet_                                       6
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                    8
+  _They sat down_                                                      9
+  _Every town crier in England_                                       13
+  _The blighted being_                                                15
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   18
+  _Miss Muffet closed her eyes_                                       19
+  _She could catch glimpses of travelers_                             20
+  _Tom Sawyer trying to "hitch on" behind_                            21
+  _Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland_    23
+  "_This is the main caravan road to Bagdad_"                         25
+  _Elves_                                                             28
+  _The woods were full of merry little people_                        29
+  _An old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked_              31
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   32
+  _Introduced the Orientals to the North Country people_              33
+  _Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp_                          37
+  "_Listening . . . is hard on the eyes_"                             39
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   44
+  _The shyest persons in the room_                                    45
+  _Scampering off into the dark_                                      47
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   54
+  "_I am sorry to be so late_"                                        55
+  _Hal cut his string_                                                63
+  "_I don't think I ever knew two persons more different_"            65
+  "_You dear little Rosamond_"                                        67
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   69
+  _One was beating the other_                                         71
+  _A little talk about dervishry_                                     73
+  _An expressive glance at the executioner_                           75
+  _Aladdin's brother and the Dervish_                                 79
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   82
+  "_I must have the full set_"                                        85
+  _Telling anecdotes_                                                 87
+  "_It all depends on grammar_"                                       89
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   92
+  _Wynken, Blynken, and Nod_                                          93
+  _He was a little prudent_                                           96
+  _The Rockaby Lady saying good-night_                                97
+  _Flew away . . . into the night_                                   100
+  _Into his overcoat pocket_                                         101
+  _Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began to dance_                     103
+  _A long time to get on their overshoes_                            105
+  _Closed her eyes_                                                  106
+  _Tail Piece_                                                       107
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter I]
+
+
+'Twas the night before Christmas, and it was very quiet in Mrs. Muffet's
+house,--altogether too quiet, thought little Miss Muffet, as she sat
+trying to eat her curds and whey. For Mrs. Muffet was a very severe
+mother and had her own ideas about bringing up children,--and so had Mr.
+Muffet, or rather he had the same ideas, only warmed over. One of these
+was on the necessity of care in the diet of growing children. "First,"
+said Mrs. Muffet, "we must find out what the children don't like, and
+then we must make them eat plenty of it; next to breaking their wills,
+there is nothing so necessary as breaking their appetites." Mrs. Muffet
+had read this in a book, and so she knew it must be true; and Mr. Muffet
+had heard Mrs. Muffet say it so many times that he knew it was true.
+
+[Illustration: _Mrs. Muffet had read this in a book_]
+
+So every morning little Miss Muffet had three courses: first, curds and
+whey; second, whey and curds; third, curdled whey. She had the same
+things for the other meals, but the order was changed about. An
+experienced housekeeper tells me that the third course is impossible to
+prepare, as whey cannot be curdled. All I have to say is that this
+housekeeper had not known Mrs. Muffet. Mrs. Muffet could curdle
+anything. But the worst days of the year for little Miss Muffet were the
+holidays, for they were occasions that had to be improved. Now for a
+little girl to improve an occasion is about the hardest work she can do,
+especially when she doesn't know how. If she had been left to herself,
+Miss Muffet wouldn't have improved them at all, but would have left them
+in their natural state.
+
+[Illustration: _To meditate on the passage of time_]
+
+"Christmas," said Mrs. Muffet in her most economical tone, "comes but
+once a year, so we must make it go as far as possible. The best way for
+a child to do that is to sit and meditate. You've no idea how long a
+holiday seems till you sit still and think about it. Count sixty, that
+will be just one minute, and another, and another, and then
+another--sixty times one, and then sixty times that, and then
+twenty-four times that makes--well--it makes--the exact number doesn't
+matter much," said Mrs. Muffet, who wasn't quick at mental arithmetic,
+"but you'll see that there are quite a considerable number of seconds in
+Christmas Day--quite enough for any growing child." So at Christmas time
+Mrs. Muffet would go out to visit the neighbors, leaving the little girl
+seated on a very uncomfortable tuffet, to meditate on the passage of
+time.
+
+[Illustration: _The kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on_]
+
+Perhaps some of you would like to know what a tuffet is. I have thought
+of that myself, and have taken the trouble to ask several learned
+persons. They assure me that the most complete and satisfactory
+definition is,--a tuffet is the kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on.
+With this explanation I shall go on with my story. As she sat on her
+tuffet counting up the seconds of Christmas Eve, and had already reached
+the sum of two thousand one hundred and seven, a strange thing happened.
+A visitor came and sat down beside her. You guess who he was? Yes--an
+elderly, benevolent spider. He was short-sighted and wore green
+spectacles, and had evidently a little rheumatism in his legs, but as he
+had eight of them, he managed to get along very well.
+
+Now the way you may have heard the story is that when the kind old
+spider sat down beside her, it frightened Miss Muffet away. That story
+must be true because I myself have seen it in print, but it happened at
+another time, when Miss Muffet was very little indeed.
+
+On the Christmas Eve I am telling about, she had become a very sensible
+little girl, and knew all about spiders, so instead of running away, she
+made room for him on the tuffet and said, "I am very glad to see you,
+Mr. Spider." Mr. Spider bowed and looked at her in a kindly way through
+his spectacles, but said nothing.
+
+"I hope your family are all well; I mean the family Arachnida,
+sub-order, I forget the name. We've enjoyed dissecting those we could
+get; and you deserve a great deal of credit for the curious way in which
+you are put together, with your funny thorax and everything."
+
+"Let's change the subject, Miss," said the spider, moving toward the
+further side of the tuffet. "This is Christmas Eve."
+
+[Illustration: _Fairly jumped off her tuffet_]
+
+"Yes," answered Miss Muffet wearily. "Sixty seconds make a minute; sixty
+minutes make an hour. Even Christmas Eve will come to an end some time;
+but what's the good? For then Christmas will come, and that will _never_
+get through."
+
+"What do you say to a party?"
+
+Miss Muffet fairly jumped off her tuffet, for she had never had a party
+in her life. "Who will invite the people?"
+
+"I will," said the spider.
+
+"But do you think any one will come if _you_ invite them?"
+
+"Why not?"
+
+"Oh! I was just thinking; some people are such 'fraid-cats; and then,
+you know, once, one of your family invited the fly to walk into his
+parlor. I don't believe the story one bit, but then, you know, Mr.
+Spider, it caused talk."
+
+Mr. Spider positively blushed green. "If you have no objection, let's
+change the subject again. Business is business; as for flies, there is a
+difference of opinion about them, and we can't all live on curds and
+whey, Miss Muffet. But this is to be your party, and we should not
+invite flies but folks. How would you like to have a literary party, and
+invite all the people you've read about?"
+
+"How delightful!" cried Miss Muffet gleefully. "What a dear old spider
+you are!"
+
+"Let's write the invitations immediately," said Mr. Spider, taking out
+of his pocket a ream of the most delicate cobweb paper.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter II]
+
+
+They sat down with their heads very close together, and such a number of
+letters you never saw as Miss Muffet and the spider wrote. Some of them
+were very informal, like those beginning "Dear Little Bo-Peep" and "Dear
+Red Riding-Hood." They said, "Won't you come to a party at my house?
+We're going to have games." Others were very formal like that addressed
+to
+
+          The Reverend Swiss Robinson and Family,
+                            Tent House,
+                                     Desert Island,
+
+stating that "Miss Muffet requests the pleasure of your company," etc.
+Then there were letters addressed to Wonderland and Back of the North
+Wind, and to Lilliput and the Land where the Jumblies Live, and to all
+sorts of places which are to be found only on the best maps, and are not
+in the school geographies at all.
+
+Mr. Spider was very careful and businesslike, and insisted that Miss
+Muffet should always put down the exact address, for it would never do
+to have any of the letters go to the dead-letter office. Sometimes,
+however, they were puzzled to find the right direction.
+
+[Illustration: _They sat down_]
+
+"Shall I address this letter to Norwich or the Moon?" asked Miss Muffet,
+handing him an envelope.
+
+"Ah!" said the spider, "this is a difficult case; it's hard to reach
+these traveling men. Here is a gentleman residing in the Moon, who
+suddenly sets out for Norwich without leaving his address. Better direct
+the letter to 'Norwich, General Delivery,' and write in the upper left
+hand corner, 'If not called for in five minutes, forward to the Moon.'"
+
+"And I suppose that Gloucester is Dr. Foster's address? That is where I
+last heard of him."
+
+"No; I'm afraid we shall have to give the doctor up. He is a very
+peculiar man and took a prejudice against the town, and vowed he would
+never go that way again."
+
+"Oh, yes, I remember," said Miss Muffet; "it was because he didn't like
+the way they kept the roads."
+
+It was a difficult matter to get the correct titles for all the princes
+and princesses of Fairyland, and to learn the names of all the crowned
+heads. Of course, where their names were in the Court Directory it was
+easy enough, for the spider had a huge volume at his elbow; but he said
+that it was far from complete. All the giant-killers and the young men
+who married the kings' daughters were in it, but the kings themselves
+were often forgotten.
+
+"'A certain king had three daughters,'" said Miss Muffet; "that's all
+that I know about him, but he ought to be invited. The postman will want
+to know which 'Certain King' it is, and what he's king of."
+
+"The best way to do," said the spider, "would be to address a hundred
+letters, each to 'A Certain King,' asking His Majesty to honor your
+party with his presence, and to bring with him a 'Certain Queen.' Then
+whenever the messenger comes across a king without any particular name
+he can give him an invitation. If you want to be more definite, you may
+address each letter to 'A Certain Kingdom.'"
+
+"But he has usually given away half of his kingdom."
+
+"That's true," said the spider; "you had better address it to 'The Other
+Half.'"
+
+Miss Muffet was troubled about the persons who had only lately risen in
+life.
+
+"There is Dumbling, who went out to chop wood, and the dwarf gave him a
+golden goose that made everything stick to it. The king's daughter in
+that certain kingdom had been so serious that the king had offered her
+to any one who would make her laugh; and when she saw Dumbling with the
+goose under his arm and the maids and the parson and all the rest
+following after, she laughed outright. She didn't mean to, but she
+couldn't help it. And now Dumbling is a prince, and is living happily
+ever afterward. I wonder if that makes any difference in his feelings,
+or if he likes to be called Dumbling."
+
+The spider said that it all depended on his wife. With such a serious
+person as she had been one must be careful about etiquette. Because she
+had laughed once was no sign that she would do it again.
+
+"Shall you invite any plain boys and girls who live in the Every Day
+Country?" asked the spider.
+
+This was a hard question, for the Muffets were an old family who had
+come across with Mother Goose, and at this moment Every Day Country
+seemed a long way off and just a bit uninteresting. But then Miss Muffet
+remembered how many kind friends she had found there, and answered,--
+
+"Oh, certainly, we must send invitations to the Every Day Country, for
+some of the folks there are just as good as the Dreamland people, only
+of course they haven't had the same advantages."
+
+[Illustration: _Every town crier in England_]
+
+So letters were sent to Prudy and Dotty Dimple and the Bodley Family,
+and to the Little Men and Little Women and Lord Fauntleroy and the rest.
+A special letter was written to the little Ruggleses, and to Tiny Tim
+and all the Cratchetts, for Miss Muffet knew that they were always ready
+to have a good time on Christmas. A message was sent to every town crier
+in England, asking him to make immediate proclamation in the streets
+that if any small boy who was a Prince and a Pauper would make himself
+known, he would hear something greatly to his advantage, for he was
+invited to Miss Muffet's Party.
+
+The longest letter was that sent to Agamemnon Peterkin. Miss Muffet
+wrote it very carefully, underscoring all the important parts, and
+adding a map showing the way from the Peterkins' house to the palace.
+She asked him to bring all the family, including the little boys.
+
+"I don't see how he can make a mistake," she said, "but he probably
+will. They are all so ingenious. They find out how to make mistakes that
+other folks would never think of."
+
+"What about Mr. Henty's boys?" said the spider; "there are so many of
+them."
+
+"There seem to be a great many of them," said Miss Muffet, "but I've
+sometimes thought that there may be only two, only they live in
+different centuries and go to different wars. Boys can do that, can't
+they, Mr. Spider, if they are very brave?"
+
+The spider said he thought they could without changing their characters,
+but of course they would have to change their names.
+
+So an invitation was sent to Ronald Leslie, alias Wulf, Roger, Lionel,
+Stanley, etc., On The Firing Line, Near Carthage, Quebec, Crécy,
+Waterloo, Khartoum, or wherever the Enemy may be found in force. Forward
+by a swift messenger, trusty and true.
+
+"I shouldn't wonder if they might be a little late, for they may be
+taken prisoner, and it always takes them some time to escape."
+
+"Shall you invite any bad boys?" asked the spider.
+
+[Illustration: The blighted being.]
+
+"No," answered Miss Muffet severely, "not as a rule; but I think we
+shall ask Mr. Aldrich's Bad Boy, for he is a blighted being. I think
+it's our duty to have him,--and then it would be such fun. And I suppose
+we ought to invite Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer to keep him company."
+
+"Of course you will invite all the good boys?"
+
+"Of course we shall invite them, as a rule. But the good boys in the
+books are almost too good sometimes; don't you think so, Mr. Spider? I
+mean almost too good to be true. But that reminds me; I suppose we
+should invite Rollo?"
+
+"Yes," said the spider, "we certainly must invite Rollo; he's a worthy
+lad, and of an inquiring mind."
+
+"Oh dear!" said Miss Muffet, tearing up the letter she had just written,
+"he's so intelligent. I'll have to write very correctly or he'll
+criticise the spelling; and then if I invite Rollo, I shall have to
+invite Jonas, too."
+
+"Certainly," said the spider, "we must invite Jonas, and we must arrange
+some moral amusement. Suppose in your invitation you leave out the word
+'party' and ask him to attend a 'serious symposium.' How would this
+do?--'Respected Sir, You are earnestly requested to attend a serious
+symposium at Miss Muffet's, to meet the Rev. Swiss Robinson and other
+persons interested in the education of youth. The Little Old Woman who
+lived in a Shoe will preside. There will be a number of papers, to be
+followed by a discussion.'"
+
+"How good that is! Jonas would so love a discussion," said Miss Muffet.
+
+"Shall we invite any giants?"
+
+"No; I don't want to be exclusive, but we must draw the line somewhere.
+Let's draw it at giants."
+
+"Very well," said the spider, throwing into the waste-basket the letter
+he had just addressed to His Majesty the King of the Brobdingnags.
+
+At last the invitations were all written, and the kind old spider said,
+"Now lie down, my dear, on the tuffet and close your eyes, and I will
+make all the preparations and wake you in time for the party."
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter III]
+
+
+Miss Muffet closed her eyes, and had already begun to dream of curds and
+whey, when all at once she was awakened and found herself in a most
+wonderful palace. The walls and floors were made of the sheerest,
+filmiest spider's-web, woven into a thousand delicate patterns. A soft
+light shone through the tapestries, and the dewdrops on the roof
+sparkled like diamonds. The music that floated in through the open
+windows was not so much a sound as a part of the atmosphere. She was not
+sure whether she heard it or only breathed it in. Everything was so
+shimmering and so dainty that Miss Muffet might have thought that she
+was dreaming had it not been for the spider, who looked so comical in
+his dress-suit that she laughed outright. The moment she laughed, Miss
+Muffet knew that everything was real.
+
+[Illustration: _Miss Muffet closed her eyes_]
+
+[Illustration: _She could catch glimpses of travelers_]
+
+[Illustration: _Tom Sawyer trying to "hitch on" behind_]
+
+For a minute she did not dare to trust herself on the floor, but when
+she took a step she had the most delightful experience of walking on
+air. She went to one of the great windows. If the palace had been
+wonderful, how much more wonderful was the view from it. Far as the eye
+could reach were the shining paths of spider's-web, each one leading
+over hill and dale to the palace door. Now the paths were on the ground,
+now with bridges from grass blade to grass blade, sometimes from tree to
+tree; and far off she could see them spanning deep valleys among the
+hills. By and by she could catch glimpses of travelers on the road, some
+in coaches, some on foot, some on horseback, coming by twos and dozens
+and scores.
+
+"They're coming to the party," said the spider.
+
+[Illustration: _Alice with all the strange friends she had found in
+Wonderland_]
+
+Sure enough, there was Cinderella in her coach with the Prince sitting
+by her side, and Tom Sawyer trying to "hitch on" behind. And there was
+Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland; and a
+very queer set they were, for Wonderland is rather out of the world, and
+the fashions of the Wonderlanders were peculiar, and not at all like
+anything Miss Muffet had ever seen before. And then how they did act! It
+was a great relief to see, after the March Hare and the Cheshire Cat and
+the Duchess, who were skipping along in the most extraordinary manner,
+Mr. Robinson Crusoe. "He looks so solid and respectable," said Miss
+Muffet, "and so English, you know."
+
+"Come to the east window," said the spider.
+
+Miss Muffet went with him and looked out on a great level road
+stretching toward the sunrise. Just where it seemed to touch the sky she
+could see a grove of palm-trees, and she thought she could see, beyond,
+the golden domes and minarets of a city. But she was not quite sure of
+this, for it might have been the clouds. A faint perfume as of rare
+spices floated to her as the wind sprang up.
+
+"This," said the spider, "is the main caravan road to Bagdad." A golden
+dust seemed to rise in the distance among the palms. At last Miss Muffet
+could see a caravan.
+
+"Take this glass," said the spider, handing her an opera-glass. Then
+Miss Muffet could see very well. There were the Sultan and the Caliph
+and the Grand Vizier, and the silk merchants and the calenders, and the
+princesses of every degree,--all on camels most wonderful to behold.
+
+[Illustration: "_This is the main caravan road to Bagdad_"]
+
+"Do you see the Forty Thieves?" asked the spider uneasily. "If you do,
+we'd better count the spoons."
+
+Then Miss Muffet went to the north window, and such a sight as she saw
+there! There was frost on all the roads, and snow on the far mountains,
+and the great pine forest on that side came almost to the palace doors.
+And such pine-trees as they were! Each one looked like a great Christmas
+tree. The woods were full of merry little people, with such frosty
+twinkles in their eyes that it did one good to look at them. They talked
+Swedish and German and Icelandic and all sorts of queer languages, but
+somehow they laughed so naturally, and were so simple and hearty, that
+Miss Muffet understood every word. There were hosts of brownies and
+elves and fairies, and intelligent white bears, and one or two reformed
+wolves, and an old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked, and
+the Marsh King and his daughters, and an old gentleman who looked so
+much like Santa Claus that Miss Muffet was sure that he must be his
+brother. Indeed, she could not help noticing that a great many of these
+North Country folks bore a strong family resemblance to Santa
+Claus,--but perhaps it was only the way they wore their beards. When she
+saw them all, she was sorry that she had not invited Santa Claus
+himself. She hadn't asked him, because, as she told Mr. Spider, it was
+Christmas Eve, and it might seem suggestive. But the truth of the matter
+was, as I suspect, that she thought he would probably drop in of his own
+accord, some time in the course of the evening.
+
+[Illustration: _Elves_]
+
+[Illustration: _The woods were full of merry little people_]
+
+[Illustration: _An old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked_]
+
+As the brisk little people from the North came up the palace steps, Miss
+Muffet was sure that Hans Christian Andersen must have had a party once,
+or how could he have described them so well? "Indeed," she said, "if I
+didn't know what day of the month and what year it is, I should almost
+think that this is 'Once upon a Time.'"
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter IV]
+
+
+When the guests began to come in, Miss Muffet was all in a flurry for
+fear she should not do her duty as a hostess; but she needn't have
+worried a bit, for they were so much interested in themselves that they
+paid very little attention to her. Then she had the assistance of two
+widely traveled storks, who, having their summer residences in Norway
+and spending their winters in Bagdad, had a great number of
+acquaintances, and introduced the Orientals to the North Country people.
+It was delightful to see how quickly they all became acquainted. Little
+Dutch Gretchen in her wooden shoes was not at all like the Persian
+Princess whom she now met for the first time, but they were soon warm
+friends though they had moved in such different society. At first Miss
+Muffet was afraid that the wooden shoes might spoil the spider's-web
+floor; but there was no real danger of this, for the spider, knowing
+that there would be a very great crowd, had made everything very strong.
+
+[Illustration: _Introduced the Orientals to the North Country people_]
+
+There was a little man in a huge bearskin coat who came from Back of the
+North Wind. At first he was shy and awkward, but it was beautiful to see
+how soon he was put at ease when Aladdin came up and explained to him
+the virtues of his wonderful lamp. The little man said that such a lamp
+must be very useful, but when it came to illuminating power it was
+nothing to what he had at home, for he had an Aurora Borealis in every
+room. Then the little man chuckled to himself, for he wanted every one
+to know that the Back of the North Wind Country was not so uncivilized
+as people supposed.
+
+In a corner she found a delightful group of seafaring folks. Dr. Lemuel
+Gulliver was telling the story of one of his voyages. He was such a
+matter-of-fact person, and so accurate about the latitude and longitude,
+that Miss Muffet had the greatest confidence in him, and felt that,
+though he might be mistaken in regard to the main points, all the
+details happened exactly as he said. His story reminded Sindbad the
+Sailor of something that had happened to him. He told his story in a
+charming oriental way, but without a touch of exaggeration.
+
+"That would have spoiled it," said Miss Muffet to Baron Munchausen, who
+was standing by. "Don't you like simplicity, Baron?"
+
+The Baron bowed in a courtly, old-fashioned way, and said that he was
+inordinately fond of it. Miss Muffet heard a rippling, liquid sound
+which she at first mistook for laughter, but the Baron assured her that
+it was only the frozen truth beginning to thaw. This reminded him of a
+little incident which was wonderful to hear. Everybody was astonished
+except the Three Wise Men of Gotham. They remarked that if they were at
+liberty to tell their adventures, as seafaring men, the stories that had
+been told would seem quite tame; but they didn't feel at liberty, and
+only looked at each other so wisely that Miss Muffet wondered whether
+any persons could really be as wise as they looked.
+
+[Illustration: _Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp_]
+
+A sturdy, round-faced man stood just behind the group, but took no part
+in the conversation. Whenever Sindbad was talking he became so excited
+that his eyes seemed almost to pop out of his head, but he quieted down
+as soon as any one else began. After a time Sindbad came over to him,
+and taking out his purse, gave him a handful of gold pieces.
+
+"A hundred sequins?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+[Illustration: "_Listening . . . is hard on the eyes_"]
+
+"Yes," said the round-faced man, "that's my regular wages."
+
+"It must be a very large amount."
+
+He said he had no complaint to make, though a sequin didn't go so far in
+Bagdad as it once did, and he had to spend a great deal in clothes.
+
+"I knew the minute I saw you that you must be Hindbad the Porter."
+
+"I used to be a porter before I became a professional listener.
+Listening isn't so hard on the back as portering, but it requires more
+attention and the hours are longer; that is, they seem longer. Besides,
+it's hard on the eyes."
+
+"You mean on the ears," suggested Miss Muffet.
+
+"No! on the eyes; you have to look interested."
+
+"Oh! I understand," said Miss Muffet. "When first I heard about your
+being invited to dinner at Sindbad's and listening to his first tale, it
+seemed the very nicest thing in the world. And how unexpected it was,
+after you had enjoyed it, for him to hand you a hundred sequins and say,
+'Take this, Hindbad, and return to your home, and come back to-morrow
+and hear more of my adventures.' Weren't you surprised to hear a story
+and get a hundred sequins besides?"
+
+Hindbad said that he was surprised at first, but after a day or two he
+began to look at it more in a business way. He had always made it a rule
+to be thorough, for whatever was worth doing was worth doing well, and
+he determined to be the very best listener in Bagdad.
+
+"You see, in my country, we have a great many gentlemen who gain wealth
+by having adventures. When they come back from their shipwrecks, they
+naturally want to tell about them; but there's so much competition that
+it's hard to get a hearing. When they meet with people, like those
+horrid Wise Men of Gotham, who prefer their own shipwrecks, they go into
+a decline."
+
+His eyes filled with tears, and Miss Muffet was sure that he was one of
+the most sympathetic men in the world.
+
+"Now I had a great advantage," he went on; "I never had a shipwreck of
+my own, so that I could not be reminded of something that would make me
+interrupt. And then it is easy for me to have a story seem strange. I
+seem to have a natural gift for it. Any one can be surprised the first
+time he hears an adventure, but if one is to become a professional
+listener he must cultivate the habit of being surprised. Now that story
+about the roc's egg grows upon me; indeed it does! I don't think I
+appreciated it at first. That's the way with all big things; it's some
+time before you take them in. Even Mr. Sindbad says that it didn't seem
+as big when he saw it as it does now when he remembers it. And whenever
+I hear about those huge serpents it makes me shudder, and I ask Mr.
+Sindbad to hurry on and tell me that he really did get away from them. I
+can't stand the suspense. The cannibals are frightful creatures, Miss
+Muffet; they say they eat people. Mr. Sindbad has a perfect genius for
+having accidents. They come in the most unexpected places. And then he
+escapes. I sometimes think that is the most wonderful part of it."
+
+"Do you think a little girl who studied hard could learn your profession
+and practice in Bagdad?" asked Miss Muffet timidly. "You know I wouldn't
+ask for wages; I would do it just for the love of it."
+
+Hindbad frowned darkly. "It would never do, Miss Muffet! I can't have
+little girls coming over on the banks of the Tigris and taking the bread
+out of the mouths of my family."
+
+But when he saw that Miss Muffet was beginning to cry, he changed his
+tone and said, "I am sure you meant no harm, only you didn't understand
+about the wages. You could easily earn a hundred sequins at listening,
+and it isn't so hard to learn when you are young. I would give that much
+myself to have you listen to a queer thing that happened to me once in
+Bagdad. I've never told it before, for I never found any one who looked
+interested. It was in one of the narrowest streets down by the
+water-side, and it was on the darkest night of the year, when"--
+
+Just then the spider came to take Miss Muffet away to meet some children
+who came from The Golden Age. Their names were Harold and Edward and
+Charlotte, and they said they had an Aunt Maria, who had stayed at home
+because she had not been invited to the party. They had walked all the
+way along the Roman Road, which made the spider think that they must be
+tired. In this he was mistaken; though they said that they were ready
+for the refreshments.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter V]
+
+
+The Golden Age children said that they didn't like to play with grown
+folks; after people got to be thirty or ninety they thought they became
+very uninteresting, and didn't have the right kind of feelings; unless
+they were Princes and went on adventures.
+
+Miss Muffet didn't agree with this because some of her best friends were
+elderly peasants whose faces were all puckered up because they had been
+smiling for so many years. She wished, though, that they were not so
+shy.
+
+[Illustration: _The shyest persons in the room_]
+
+"I suppose it's because they are not used to going to parties; neither
+am I, for that matter, but then I'm not so much used as they are to
+_not_ going."
+
+Perhaps the shyest persons in the room were an old German shoemaker and
+his wife, whom Miss Muffet had for a long time loved and admired, though
+they had not known it. Indeed, they didn't know that any one was ever
+admired unless he had found a pot of gold or done something equally
+praiseworthy. The shoemaker had never done anything but make shoes, and
+his wife did the cooking and made the clothes for the family. When they
+received the invitation to the party, they were greatly astonished and
+thought it must be a mistake, but the village priest, who read the
+letter, told them that it was certainly intended for them, though why
+they were invited was a mystery. When the priest told them that it was a
+mystery, they knew that it was so, and came along bowing and curtsying
+as if all the persons they met were their betters, though really only
+one or two were half so good. Miss Muffet ran to them and put her hands
+in theirs.
+
+[Illustration: _Scampering off into the dark_]
+
+"I have just loved you since the time I heard what you did for the
+little elves who used to come at night after you had gone to bed and
+finish your work for you. Some people take what's done for them and
+think no more about it except that they're lucky; but you sat up till
+midnight and peeped into the room where the elves were working, and saw
+that they didn't have enough clothes to keep them warm. Then you made
+each one a shirt and a coat and waistcoat and a pair of trousers and a
+little pair of shoes. What fun it must have been, next night, to watch
+them putting on their things and scampering off into the dark. I never
+heard of elves being dressed up like that."
+
+The shoemaker and his wife laughed heartily as they remembered how funny
+the elves were. The wife confessed that the garments didn't fit closely,
+though she made them like her husband's, only smaller.
+
+"Elves are not so square, are they?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"No," said the shoemaker's wife; "but their clothes are. That's the only
+pattern I have."
+
+"I suppose they are coming to the party? I sent a general invitation to
+Elf-land. There is to be elfin music and a frolic for them. I thought
+they might like it better to have their own games. Your elves can't say
+they have nothing to wear, because that wouldn't be true."
+
+But though she looked everywhere for them, nowhere could she see the
+little elves in square coats and trousers. When the refreshments were
+served, Mr. Spider noticed that everything went remarkably smoothly, and
+there was more of all kinds of provisions than he had ordered. He said
+he had no doubt but that the little elves were helping in the kitchen.
+
+"It would be just like them; the little dears!" said Miss Muffet.
+
+The shoemaker felt very much more at home when he met a young fellow
+named Hans who had come from the same village. He was not the Hans who
+married Grettel, but the one whom Miss Muffet had often heard of because
+he traded a horse for a cow, the cow for a pig, the pig for a goose, and
+so on, all the way home. This caused a good deal of talk in the
+neighborhood, and some of the villagers thought he wasn't much of a
+business man.
+
+Hans, however, was perfectly satisfied with himself, and was quite ready
+to talk.
+
+"The secret of being a trader," he said, "is to be quick about it. You
+must not stop to think: that's where you lose time. If I had stopped to
+think, I should have brought the horse home with me, and I might have
+had it on my hands yet. There are ever so many people grumbling about
+the care of their property; they say it is a burden to them. I tell them
+that it's all their own fault. If they kept their eyes open, they would
+find plenty of ways of getting rid of it."
+
+Hans had such a shrewd twinkle in his eyes that Miss Muffet felt sure
+that he would always get the best of a bargain, no matter how it turned
+out.
+
+While Hans was talking, she noticed a little man who looked like a
+tailor.
+
+"Didn't you start on a journey once," she asked, "with only a piece of
+cheese and an old hen in your wallet?"
+
+"Yes," he answered; "but that was a good while ago."
+
+"I thought you must be the one. And you fooled the giant, and when he
+squeezed a stone till water came out of it, you squeezed your cheese
+till the whey ran out, and he thought your cheese was a stone, and that
+you squeezed harder than he did. And he never saw through any of your
+tricks, though I should have thought that even a giant would have
+suspected. Are all giants so stupid?"
+
+The tailor said that not all of them were so stupid, though fortunately
+a great many were, and generally when they grew beyond a certain size,
+something happened to their heads.
+
+"If it weren't for that, Miss Muffet, there would be no room for us
+common people on the earth. The giants would eat up everything. Now and
+then there is a young giant like Thumbling who is active and keeps his
+wits about him. But Thumbling was very little to begin with. Most giants
+get foolish when they grow up, and then we can put an end to them."
+
+When the talk got upon giants, it was astonishing to see what an eager
+crowd gathered around the tailor. There were some knights in armor who
+listened unconcernedly, for they knew that giants could do them no harm;
+but it was different with the tailors and fishermen and ploughmen. They
+had suffered so much that they could not speak of a giant without
+bitterness.
+
+"But aren't there good giants?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"I never heard of one," said the tailor, "except Christopher, and he is
+a saint and learned how to fast. It isn't a question of their being
+good: the trouble with them is that they are too big. It takes too much
+to support them. They eat us out of house and home. We can't get along
+peaceably till we are all more of a size."
+
+They were all of that opinion, and the stories which they applauded were
+of the kind where a little man gets the better of a big one. Miss Muffet
+could not object to this, because it was the kind she liked best
+herself.
+
+"I never have been so much afraid of giants," she said, "since I learned
+about their diseases. They are not nearly so strong as they look. There
+was Giant Despair,--'in sunshiny weather he fell into fits.' It was
+while he was having a fit, you know, that Christian and Hopeful got
+away. If I were going where there were bad giants, I should go in
+sunshiny weather."
+
+"I don't think you would have any trouble, my dear," said the shoemaker,
+"for you would take the sunshine with you."
+
+And then he laughed to think of Giant Despair tumbling over in a fit
+when he caught sight of Miss Muffet. For though the shoemaker was a very
+kind man, he had no sympathy for giants.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter VI]
+
+
+There were so many interesting things going on at the party that Miss
+Muffet almost forgot the Serious Symposium. When she did remember it,
+she was very much troubled.
+
+"What will Rollo think about me for being so negligent! I invited him
+particularly to come to a symposium, and now I don't even know how it is
+done."
+
+[Illustration: "_I am sorry to be so late_"]
+
+The spider, however, told her that he had secured a hall up two flights,
+and had arranged the chairs and a table, which were all the arrangements
+necessary for a meeting. He had seen a number of serious persons going
+upstairs, and he had no doubt that it was a success.
+
+When she reached the hall, the papers had all been read and discussed,
+and the Little Old Woman, who was in the chair, was just announcing that
+the next business before the house was to adjourn.
+
+"I am sorry to be so late," said Miss Muffet, "and to miss hearing the
+papers."
+
+"If that's the case," said the Little Old Woman, "we will have them all
+over again. The speakers will read slowly, so that the papers will go
+further."
+
+"Oh, please don't on my account!" cried Miss Muffet, all in a tremble.
+"Don't let me interfere with your adjourning. I know that must be
+important business."
+
+The Little Old Woman said that it was the most important business of the
+meeting.
+
+"Does it take long?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"Not if you know how to do it," said the Little Old Woman.
+
+"Then I will just sit down and watch it."
+
+The Little Old Woman rapped upon the table with a huge button-hook, and
+went about the business so briskly that before Miss Muffet knew what had
+happened, the meeting had adjourned.
+
+"Were the papers so quick?" she asked.
+
+"No, they weren't; papers are never that way."
+
+"What were they about?"
+
+"The white ones were about 'Child Study,' and the yellow ones were about
+'Obedience to Parents' and 'Not Losing Your Thimble.' The yellow ones
+were the ones I knew best; I used to have them when I was a little
+girl."
+
+"Then the white ones must be harder. Is Child Study harder than
+Arithmetic?"
+
+"There are two kinds. One kind is where you take the children you are
+acquainted with and tell what you know about them. That kind isn't so
+good to make papers out of. It's too short. The other kind is where you
+get at 'the Contents of the Child's Mind.' I can't say that it's harder
+than Arithmetic, for it is Arithmetic, only it's further on than you've
+got. It's percentage. You take eleven hundred little girls in blue
+dresses and make them fill out blanks. You ask them which they like
+best, chocolate caramels or peppermint drops."
+
+"Which _do_ they like best?" asked Miss Muffet, who had often thought
+about that question herself.
+
+"You can't tell," answered the Little Old Woman; "all you know is the
+answers: they depend on which words the little girls can spell easiest.
+The chief thing is to get the percentage. Then you write a paper. If it
+doesn't come out right, you ask eleven hundred little girls in pink
+dresses and they answer differently. Then you have a Problem."
+
+"What is a Problem?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"It's something to discuss," said the Little Old Woman.
+
+"Why don't they ask their mothers?"
+
+"The mothers are too busy. Besides, their children are all exceptions.
+You can't make anything out of exceptions,--there are too many of them.
+If you let them in, it just musses up the Science. The best way is to
+keep them out."
+
+"But their mothers like them," said Miss Muffet.
+
+"Yes; they think that they are the nicest kind."
+
+When she had time to look around her, Miss Muffet was surprised to see
+how different the company was from that in the other parts of the
+palace.
+
+"They look as if something had been done to them," said Miss Muffet.
+"Oh! now I know who they are! They must be Youths. I've always read
+about Youths in the books mamma makes me read on Sunday afternoon, but I
+didn't know that they were real. Some of them look almost like boys and
+girls, only less so."
+
+Sure enough, the room was full of Youths. They came out of the
+Sunday-school books and the Fifth Readers and the Moral Tales and the
+Libraries of Instructive Juvenile Literature. Some had never been out of
+a book before, and found it impossible to talk in anything but the book
+language. Some were evidently very good, and some were painful examples
+of youthful wickedness, while others were chiefly interested in Natural
+History.
+
+"Youths," said the Little Old Woman, "are easier to understand than boys
+and girls and other young folks. Youths have habits, and each one
+practices only one at a time. When they do a naughty thing, they keep on
+doing it regularly; that's the way you come to know which is which. It
+doesn't matter what it is, whether Vanity or Procrastination or Not
+Bringing in the Wood, they keep it up till they have been made to see
+the folly of it, or are given over to their evil ways. Now children are
+more changeable. When I lived in a Shoe, I was driven half out of my
+wits, for I never could be thorough when I reproved them, they were
+always naughty in a different way. I don't believe that any one could
+have got any of my children into a book; they wouldn't keep still long
+enough to have their characters taken."
+
+Almost all the Youths were accompanied by their parents or guardians,
+though some had private tutors. Two youthful persons from the eighteenth
+century attracted a great deal of attention. They were Harry Sandford
+and Tommy Merton. Harry was a great philosopher, and understood so
+perfectly the principles of the Wedge and the Inclined Plane and the
+Moral Law that it was hard to believe his friend, Mr. Barlow, who stated
+that he was only six years old. Tommy, on the other hand, until his
+sixth year had been quite worldly, and had held a number of erroneous
+opinions. Under Harry's instruction, however, he had been much improved
+and was now quite sedate and observing.
+
+Somehow the painful examples appealed to Miss Muffet most, for she was
+very tender-hearted. There was the little criminal who once stole a pin.
+Miss Muffet had always understood that a pin was the very worst thing to
+steal; it had such fearful consequences. The last consequence generally
+is that one is transported. And there was an example of youthful
+obstinacy who wouldn't pronounce the letter G. His mother was almost
+broken-hearted for fear he might take a prejudice against other letters
+of the alphabet. She sat up three nights with him and spent days trying
+to make him say G.
+
+"It shows that she was a good mother, doesn't it?" said Miss Muffet.
+
+"It shows that she didn't have to do her own work," replied the Little
+Old Woman.
+
+A group of very old-fashioned children were talking together in
+whispers. They were evidently anxious that no older persons should hear
+them.
+
+"There they are at it again," said the Little Old Woman; "they are Mrs.
+Opie's children. People don't know them so well now, but they used to be
+notorious for telling White Lies. I have no doubt that they are doing it
+now; they are exaggerating."
+
+"What's that?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"It's telling how large a thing is before you've measured it."
+
+"But what if you haven't a tape-line with you?"
+
+"Then you should say nothing about it."
+
+"There is Hal," said Miss Muffet; "I know him by the miserable piece of
+string hanging out of his pocket. Hal cut his string. It was a sin and
+he suffers for it. His cousin Ben untied his and has it always ready for
+emergencies. All his emergencies are of that kind; they need a piece of
+whipcord to bring them out right. I've no doubt but that to-night the
+coach of one of the very prettiest princesses will break down and Ben
+will tie it up. It would be just his luck."
+
+Of course it was not long before Miss Muffet sought out Rollo Halliday.
+
+[Illustration: _Hal cut his string_]
+
+"I always did like Rollo," she said. "I almost forget that he is a Youth
+sometimes. The nicest thing about him is that you always know what he
+means. He always tells you where he is and how he got there, without
+skipping anything that you ought to know. When he goes into a room, he
+goes through the door, opening and shutting the door just as you
+expected. He isn't at all like Humpty Dumpty. I don't think I ever knew
+two persons more different. There was only one time when he puzzled me.
+When he went to Europe, and they told him how the French did things,
+'Rollo laughed long and loud.' It was so unusual. I read it over and
+over, but I couldn't tell what he laughed at. I think he might have
+explained, but I suppose he forgot."
+
+It certainly was a pleasant thing to see Rollo surrounded by a group of
+kindred spirits. They were the healthiest and happiest Youths in the
+company, for they had lived a great deal in the open air, and had kept
+their eyes open.
+
+Rollo was engaged in a dispute with little Francis about the comparative
+merits of New England and a Desert Island for farming. Jonas said
+little, but what he did say carried great weight.
+
+Rollo expressed himself as highly pleased with the Symposium. He was
+sorry that there was not time for a paper on "The New Boy" and a
+discussion of the question, "Are not the Young Growing Younger?" He said
+he had seen some dangerous tendencies in that direction.
+
+Having said this, Rollo walked to the other side of the room, and having
+found a settee, sat down on it.
+
+Scarcely had Rollo sat down when Miss Muffet saw a little girl whose
+face was very familiar.
+
+[Illustration: "_I don't think I ever knew two persons more different_"]
+
+"You are Rosamond, aren't you? And once you bought a beautiful purple
+jar instead of shoes, even though your old shoes had holes in them?"
+
+"It was a youthful indiscretion," said Rosamond, "and I have learned a
+lesson from it."
+
+"It was just lovely. Any one can have shoes, but a purple jar is
+something one dreams about: it's almost as good as having a party."
+
+Then she looked very anxiously at Rosamond and said,--
+
+"I hope it didn't happen to you? Since first I read the story Miss
+Edgeworth told about you and the purple jar, I couldn't get out of my
+head the dreadful lines with which she begins,--
+
+         'O teach her while your lessons last
+          To judge the future by the past,
+          The mind to strengthen and anneal
+          While on the stithy glows the steel.'
+
+It seemed such a dreadful thing to have your mind annealed, and you so
+little. I'm sure it's something uncomfortable. And then how hard it was
+for your mamma to make you _choose_ to do all the unpleasant things. I
+don't mind doing them when I'm told to, but to have to choose them
+rumples up my mind. That must have been an awful time when you had to
+choose a needle-book instead of that funny stone plum that you could
+have fooled the boys with."
+
+"But Mamma wanted to train me to be a Free Moral Agent," said Rosamond.
+
+"I don't like agents," said Miss Muffet, and then she was sorry that she
+had been so rude. "I mean I don't believe in being one till one is more
+grown up. And now that we are talking about it, maybe you could tell me
+what the other line means,--
+
+          'While on the stithy glows the steel.'"
+
+[Illustration: "_You dear little Rosamond_"]
+
+"A stithy," said Rosamond, "is a kind of blacksmith shop."
+
+"Now I know what every word means," said Miss Muffet, "but what was it
+all about?"
+
+"It was poetry."
+
+"I suppose that this evening you had to choose between the Symposium and
+the rest of the party where they don't have papers? And you are glad you
+chose the Symposium?"
+
+"No, I'm not," said Rosamond impulsively.
+
+"You dear little Rosamond!" cried Miss Muffet, throwing her arms about
+her. "The annealing's come off. Now let's go where there's music."
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter VII]
+
+
+As she returned from the Symposium, Miss Muffet was compelled to pass
+through some of the more remote parts of the palace, and whom should she
+see but the Caliph Haroun al Raschid, whom she recognized at once
+because he was in full disguise. He had no sooner come to the party than
+he had begun to poke around in search of adventures, as was his habit.
+At length he found two little girls engaged in a violent quarrel over a
+lamb. One was beating the other over the head with a crook, and accusing
+her of theft. This was just what the Caliph was after, and summoning the
+girls before him, he prepared to try the case. The younger girl, whose
+name was Mary, testified that the lamb had followed her to school. The
+elder girl, known as Bo-Peep, stated that on that same day she had lost
+her whole flock of sheep.
+
+"This is a strange coincidence," said Haroun al Raschid: "one girl loses
+her sheep and another has one in her possession. There is a great
+mystery here that must be looked into. Appear before me to-morrow,
+little girls, and tell me your stories." And then he added, with a
+terrible frown and an expressive glance at the executioner,--"And be
+sure, little girls, that your stories are interesting."
+
+Miss Muffet had hoped to have a long quiet talk with Haroun al Raschid
+and to ask him ever so many questions. But when she saw the executioner
+she changed her mind, and she felt, too, that the Caliph was more used
+to asking questions than to answering them.
+
+It was a great relief, therefore, to see a Dervish sitting on the floor,
+as if he had all the time in the world. He didn't seem in the least
+afraid of Haroun al Raschid; for Dervishes are great people in their way
+and have no need of being afraid of anybody.
+
+[Illustration: _One was beating the other_]
+
+"Good-evening, Mr. Dervish, may I sit down by you and have a little talk
+about dervishry?"
+
+[Illustration: _A little talk about dervishry_]
+
+The Dervish said something she didn't quite understand about not talking
+shop on social occasions. "However," he added, "I will be glad to tell
+about my neighbors; that will be more polite." This suited Miss Muffet
+just as well.
+
+"It's what I really want to hear about," she said. "Dervishry must be
+very hard work when you do it well, but it gives you a chance to meet
+all the interesting people. Let me see; you have a bowl, and you sit
+under a palm-tree by a well, and then the Calendars and Cadis and Muftis
+and Merchants and Mendicants and the ladies of Bagdad come and ask you
+questions, and when they put things in your bowl you answer them?"
+
+The Dervish said that that would be against the rule.
+
+"Oh, I remember. You look wise and tell them to come again to-morrow.
+The next day they come again, and you tell them which camel was blind in
+one eye and where their lovers are. That is very wonderful."
+
+The Dervish said that was the easiest part of it. The hardest thing was
+to look wiser than the Muftis.
+
+[Illustration: _An expressive glance at the executioner_]
+
+Very soon they were having a delightful talk about all the great
+personages Miss Muffet had always admired at a distance, but the Dervish
+had known them intimately and could tell all their weak points, which
+were not in the books. Indeed, Miss Muffet was surprised to find how
+many mistakes the books had in them, all because the persons who made
+them hadn't taken the trouble to talk with the Dervish. Almost all the
+numbers were wrong.
+
+"There weren't forty thieves, there were only thirty-nine. I counted
+them myself."
+
+"But didn't everything else happen as I was told?" asked Miss Muffet;
+"and didn't it come out as it is in the book?"
+
+The Dervish admitted this, but said that that wasn't the important part:
+the important part was to count straight.
+
+A remarkable discovery was that all the famous people had brothers, and
+the brothers were always the ones who ought to have been famous, but
+every one forgot about them.
+
+"There is Aladdin, he's a greatly overrated man. I could tell you some
+curious things I learned about him. I know they are true, for they were
+told to me in confidence. People admire him because they think he is so
+lucky. Now if it had been his brother! He came over from China and used
+to sit by the day under my palm-tree talking about the chances he had
+just missed. They were truly marvelous. He missed more chances than
+Aladdin ever dreamed of, but nobody ever writes about him."
+
+"Perhaps they don't know about him," said Miss Muffet.
+
+"That's the injustice of it."
+
+"Speaking of brothers, did you ever find out why it is that the third
+one is always the wisest? I asked one of the North Country princes about
+it just now, and he bowed and said he thanked me for the compliment, but
+he was no philosopher. It doesn't matter where it is, in the Red Fairy
+Book or the Green Fairy Book or any color, the third is always the
+charm, and it seems very much the same way in your country. The oldest
+brother is always vain and selfish, and when he goes into the forest,
+always does the very thing he was told not to. And the second brother is
+selfish, and stupider, for he ought to know better when his brother
+doesn't come back and there are so many witches around. Then it comes to
+the third brother, and I never expect anything of him because he is so
+little and his stepmother has kept him back, but he turns out splendid.
+Did you ever meditate on that, Mr. Dervish?"
+
+The Dervish said that he had meditated on it for a great many years, and
+had at last come to the conclusion that it was a law of nature.
+
+"I am so glad to know that," said Miss Muffet, "for it has always
+troubled me."
+
+[Illustration: _Aladdin's brother and the Dervish_]
+
+The Dervish remarked that when one was troubled by that kind of
+questions, it was always better to consult a wise man at once. It was
+not safe to let the case run on.
+
+"There's another thing I should like to ask about. Since I first read of
+the Three Royal Mendicants, I've always wondered what a Mendicant is. I
+know he must be very proud and great, but what does he do? The
+Mendicants are here this evening, but I don't like to ask them; it might
+seem rude."
+
+Then the Dervish explained about the Mendicants, and seemed so familiar
+with their way of life that Miss Muffet suspected that he might have
+been one himself. He explained too about the Calendars.
+
+The time passed so rapidly that Miss Muffet would have talked with him
+all the evening, had he not at last said that he feared he was
+monopolizing the attention of his hostess; besides, it was about time
+for him to do some more meditating.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter VIII]
+
+
+There was a surprise at the party that delighted many of the young
+people. Old Mr. Esop passed through the hall, distributing handbills,
+announcing that, at immense expense, he had brought from Greece his
+unparalleled aggregation of Fables, which would now be open for
+exhibition in a grand pavilion just outside the south door of the
+palace. Out of compliment to Miss Muffet's party, admission to the
+Fables would be free, though ten cents would be charged to those who
+remained to the Morals,--which, I am sorry to say, very few did. Some of
+the Fables were unusually terrifying, such as the Lions and the hungry
+Wolves, and Miss Muffet was glad to see what strong bars there were to
+their cages. But a number of the Fables, having been for a long time on
+exhibition, had become quite tame, and walked about conversing so
+amiably that the youngest children felt no apprehension.
+
+It was while Mr. Esop was engaged in attaching the Morals to the Fables
+that Miss Muffet caught sight for the first time of Uncle Remus and the
+Little Boy. Mr. Esop was pointing out the Hare asleep by the wayside
+while the Tortoise was coming gayly down the home stretch, and he was
+about to exhibit the Moral when Uncle Remus broke out with a hearty
+laugh.
+
+"You don't fool dis chile, does you, honey? Brer Rabbit he sometime play
+'possum, but he sleep wid one eye open; he not let hisself be beat by a
+triflin' mud turtle. Jess when Brer Turtle thinks he's thar, Brer
+Rabbit'll give a jump, an' Brer Turtle'll find he's jess in time to be
+too late. Oh! I know Brer Rabbit's owdacious ways." But still the Hare
+slept while the Tortoise came deliberately over the line. Then Uncle
+Remus cried out with infinite scorn, "Come along, little boy; dat ain't
+worth shucks; dat ain't Brer Rabbit, nohow. I 'low dat rabbit's
+stuffed."
+
+"But, Uncle Remus," said Miss Muffet, "perhaps you will like the Fables
+better when you get acquainted with them. I'm sure they have always
+borne a good reputation. And now I should like to introduce you to Mr.
+Esop; it's such a pleasure to bring together people of the same tastes.
+Mr. Esop, allow me to introduce my friend, Mr. Remus. I am sure that you
+will feel a common interest in Zoölogy."
+
+Miss Muffet felt a little frightened at making such a formal speech, but
+she knew that she was showing the quality called "tact," which is
+something very useful in a hostess. To tell one's guests what they are
+expected to talk about is often a great convenience to them.
+
+But Mr. Esop, the moment he heard the name, drew back with an air that
+was quite chilling and businesslike.
+
+"Another of those early Romans out of a job! He has just discovered that
+he is a Fable and is looking for a situation." Then turning to Uncle
+Remus he said, "I'm very particular about my Fables, and I want
+everything straight and plain so that parents may have no hesitation in
+bringing their children. I don't like to mix up Myths with my Fables,
+for the chances are that the Mythical Personage, instead of having a
+Moral, may turn out to be only a Sign of the Zodiac. This is always
+confusing to the Public. I suppose, Mr. Remus, that you have brought Mr.
+Romulus with you. In the case of twins, I give no consideration, if I'm
+offered only a broken lot. I must have the full set, Mr. Remus."
+
+[Illustration: "_I must have the full set_"]
+
+Uncle Remus's feelings would have been much hurt if he had not at that
+moment caught sight of Mowgli accompanied by Baloo and Bagheera. Just
+how it happened Miss Muffet could never find out, but before she had
+time to introduce them they had become fast friends, and Uncle Remus
+only chuckled when she asked him if she might have the pleasure of
+making them acquainted.
+
+"Nebber you mind 'bout us, we mus' hab met befo'. I disremember whar,
+but it mus' hab been somewhar down de big road."
+
+And the old man laughed at the thought that there ever was a time when
+he didn't know Mowgli.
+
+At the mention of the big road Mowgli began to sing the "Road Song of
+the Bandar-log." It was a very strange song, and not at all like those
+that her music teacher taught her, but for all that Miss Muffet felt
+that it was just the kind of a song she would sing if she were a
+Bandar-log.
+
+Uncle Remus was in an ecstasy, and the Little Boy shouted for joy. Every
+one praised it except Sandford and Merton, who said that it didn't give
+any useful information except that monkeys had tails, a fact which was
+already well known, being mentioned in all the Natural History books.
+For their part, when it came to poetry they preferred some fine passages
+in Dr. Young's "Night Thoughts."
+
+A great many boys and girls who were on their way to the pavilion had
+remained outside listening to a pleasant gentleman who was telling them
+anecdotes about the Wild Animals he had known.
+
+[Illustration: _Telling anecdotes_]
+
+This troubled Mr. Esop, who, though an excellent man, was inclined to be
+jealous. Miss Muffet went out to remind the children of the Morals, but
+in a little while she became as interested as the rest of them.
+
+"His way of talking is different from Mr. Esop's, but I am not sure but
+he may be right. At any rate, I am glad to hear some one who speaks
+respectfully about animals, and who doesn't say anything behind their
+backs that he wouldn't say to their faces. He always remembers that they
+are persons and have feelings. Then when they do things, he doesn't
+blame them or call them bad names. That's one thing I don't like about
+Mr. Esop. He isn't quite fair, and he is always accusing them of Folly."
+
+"It's remarkable how small the world is, after all," said the pleasant
+gentleman, when more than a score of persons told him that the Wild
+Animals he had known were among their most intimate acquaintances, and
+that they had met them under a great many different circumstances. Then
+followed a good deal of gossip about their family life and the way they
+got their living. Miss Muffet was glad to hear that they were all so
+kind to their children, but the way they got their living troubled her.
+She remembered what the spider said, that "business is business," but
+that didn't make it seem any more kind.
+
+"It's the Law of the Jungle," said Mowgli; and then he recited the law
+word for word just as he had learned it.
+
+"Can't they change it?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"The Jungle people can't. It's too strong for them."
+
+From this the conversation drifted to hunting for sport. The pleasant
+gentleman who knew so many animals personally didn't like it. The Boy
+Hunters, who had spent a great deal of time in the woods, didn't agree
+with him. They said that the proper way to become acquainted with
+animals was to carry a gun. It showed that you entered into the spirit
+of the thing. They fancied that it was good for wild animals to be
+hunted; in fact, that was what kept them wild.
+
+Miss Muffet didn't think that was a very good reason, though it sounded
+logical; and she asked several of the Animals what they thought about
+it.
+
+[Illustration: "_It all depends on grammar_"]
+
+A Duck, a Dodo, a Lory, and an Eaglet, who had come with Alice from
+Wonderland, were the nearest, and she asked them first, but they refused
+to answer on the ground that they never had thoughts so late in the
+evening. The Lory said that he had one at home, but he had forgotten to
+bring it.
+
+"You can't make anything out of these Wonderland creatures," said Miss
+Muffet. "I can't really feel that they are animals I have known, though
+of course I know their names."
+
+When Bagheera was asked his opinion, he only growled that it was all in
+the day's work. But wise old Baloo answered:--
+
+"It all depends on grammar."
+
+This made every one look very solemn, for they realized now that it was
+a serious matter.
+
+"First Person, Singular, I hunt. Second Person, Thou huntest. Third
+Person, He or She hunts. So long as you confine it to the First Person,
+it's proper and right. When you go beyond that, it's carrying it too
+far. When you get to the Second Person, that's where the danger comes
+in."
+
+This was such sound sense that they all agreed to it, though Mr. Wolf
+declared that the First Person, Plural, seemed to him to be more
+sociable.
+
+"Does it make any difference about the moods and tenses?" asked Miss
+Muffet.
+
+"Passive--First Person, Singular, I am hunted."
+
+There was a general cry of horror. "What a dreadful point of view!" said
+the Dodo; "it makes me shiver to think about it."
+
+Even the wildest animals agreed that it was atrocious. What was most
+remarkable was that the Boy Hunters, who had been on the Orinoco and the
+Congo and all the most dangerous places, admitted that they had the same
+feelings.
+
+"There's a limit beyond which hunting is not true sport. It should not
+be allowed to go as far as the First Person, Singular, in the Passive."
+
+"I'm so glad that you agree about it," said Miss Muffet. "I knew you
+would when you came to understand one another. That's the great good of
+being at parties; it makes us feel that we are all more alike than we
+thought."
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter IX]
+
+
+When Miss Muffet began to be a little tired, Mr. Spider asked her to
+take a stroll with him into the open air. So he led her through a low
+archway which brought them at last into the Child's Garden of Verses.
+
+"We had to make the entrance quite small," he said apologetically, "to
+keep out the big boys. They run over everything, and we should have to
+put up those horrid signs,'Keep off the Verses.'"
+
+[Illustration: _Wynken, Blynken, and Nod_]
+
+"I am so glad that you have brought me into the garden where I can see
+the verses growing. Mamma told me that people make verses just as they
+make the flowers on her bonnet. But I like the kind that grow, don't
+you, Mr. Spider?"
+
+Mr. Spider said that he was no judge of poetry, but he was inclined to
+be of her opinion; which made Miss Muffet very happy, for she had not
+been used to having people agree with her,--at least before she had a
+party.
+
+It was very pleasant in the garden, for the noisier children had not
+found it out. It was surprising how many things were in it. There was a
+little river with golden sand; and the tiniest mountain, which looked as
+high as the sky when you got the right point of view; and there were
+ships and pirates and a beautiful cow. When you looked in the right
+direction, you could see the big world stretching away much further than
+the eye could reach.
+
+[Illustration: _He was a little prudent_]
+
+[Illustration: _The Rockaby Lady saying good-night_]
+
+Miss Muffet watched a wide-eyed little boy who was wandering about and
+having such an adventurous time as never was. Everything was so great
+and strange, yet he wasn't a bit afraid, only now and then when he
+turned a corner he was a little prudent, as any traveler would be who
+had come to the end of the world and was not sure that the next step
+might not take him off the edge. But it never did, for no matter how far
+he went, there was always a next step for him, as if the good Scotch
+gardener who had laid out the paths had known that such a great traveler
+was coming. As she left the garden she heard him singing to himself his
+glad little song,--
+
+          "The world is so full of a number of things,
+           I think we should all be as happy as Kings."
+
+The idea of the little song was exactly the same that Miss Muffet had
+had in her head for a long time, though she hadn't been able to express
+it so well. Even after she came back to the company, she kept repeating
+the words to herself.
+
+"I think the nicest part about being happy," she confided to the spider,
+"is that it keeps you from being lonesome, and it makes you like such a
+number of things."
+
+"And such a number of people," added Mr. Spider.
+
+"Yes; all the different kinds. It's not because they are so very pretty.
+You like the queer ones too, and you are glad that the world's full of
+them. There's Rumpelstiltzkin, he's not at all like anybody else, and
+his features aren't regular, but I'm glad he came to the party. He's so
+interesting."
+
+Mr. Spider was sure that if he could get every one to feel that way, it
+would make life easier for the members of his own family. He agreed that
+the way to keep people from being cruel was to make them happy in their
+own minds.
+
+[Illustration: _Flew away . . . into the night_]
+
+"And it's such an easy way," said Miss Muffet, "I wonder that nobody has
+thought of it before."
+
+[Illustration: _Into his overcoat pocket_]
+
+[Illustration: _Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began to dance_]
+
+There is not time to tell of all that happened at the party. As to
+refreshments, the Old Woman who lived on victuals and drink declared
+that victuals and drink were nothing to the good things which Miss
+Muffet had provided. Before the evening was over the Pied Piper played
+so merrily that even Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began to dance. The
+Twelve Dancing Princesses said that it was the first time that they had
+been able to dance as much as they liked. Before this they had had to
+stop when they danced the soles off their shoes; but this evening the
+spider had thoughtfully provided each one with several pairs.
+
+And how did it end? All of a sudden, lights out, cobweb broken, and Miss
+Muffet left alone with her curds and whey? Not at all. It ended as all
+good parties end. The Rockaby Lady from Hushaby Street suggested that it
+was getting late. Then one by one the guests came to Little Miss Muffet
+and told her what a good time they had had, and how glad they were that
+Christmas comes once every year. Wynken, Blynken, and Nod sailed away in
+a wooden shoe. They were such dear little fellows that Miss Muffet was
+sorry that she hadn't noticed them till they came to say good-by. Mr.
+Esop put out the lights in his pavilion; and the Arabians mounted their
+camels and rode slowly toward Bagdad, first making the Sultana promise
+to tell them a story that would last through the whole Arabian Night.
+The Wonderlanders put on their queer bonnets and coats, all carefully
+wrong side out; and the Man Friday hoisted his umbrella to keep the dew
+off Robinson Crusoe; and Doctor Gulliver put all the Lilliputians he
+could catch into his overcoat pocket; and Mother Goose flew away with
+all her family into the night. The little people from the North were the
+last to get away, for it took them a long time to get on their overshoes
+and fur coats and mufflers, but at last they too had gone.
+
+[Illustration: _A long time to get on their overshoes_]
+
+[Illustration: _Closed her eyes_]
+
+"I see by the moonlight that it's almost midnight," said the spider.
+"It's time for little girls to go to sleep."
+
+Little Miss Muffet closed her eyes very tightly indeed, but she didn't
+close her ears, so she heard the first tinkle of sleigh-bells far away,
+and she knew that Santa Claus was coming.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Muffet's Christmas Party, by 
+Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY ***
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+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" />
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" />
+    <title>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of By Miss Muffet's Christmas Party, by Samuel M. Crothers.
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css">
+
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+    .poem      {margin-left: 30%; margin-right: 10%; text-align: left;}
+     .sig    {margin-right: 10%; text-align: right;}
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+
+<pre>
+
+Project Gutenberg's Miss Muffet's Christmas Party, by Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Miss Muffet's Christmas Party
+
+Author: Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+Illustrator: Olive M. Long
+
+Release Date: April 15, 2010 [EBook #31997]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 313px;">
+<img src="images/cover2.jpg" width="313" height="469" alt="Cover" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 347px;">
+<img src="images/endpaper.png" width="347" height="500" alt="Fairy in a web" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+
+<div class='bbox'>
+<h3>By Samuel M. Crothers</h3>
+
+
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Books by Crothers">
+<tr><td align='left'>MEDITATIONS ON VOTES FOR WOMEN.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>HUMANLY SPEAKING.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>AMONG FRIENDS.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>BY THE CHRISTMAS FIRE.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>THE PARDONER'S WALLET.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>THE ENDLESS LIFE.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>THE GENTLE READER.</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><div class='hang1'>OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES: THE AUTOCRAT<br />AND HIS FELLOW BOARDERS. With Portrait.</div></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY. Illustrated.</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+
+<div class='center'><br />
+HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY<br />
+<span class="smcap">Boston and New York</span><br />
+</div></div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_i" id="Page_i">[i]</a></span></p>
+<h2>MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY</h2>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 324px;">
+<img src="images/frontis.png" width="324" height="500" alt="A visitor came (page 4)" title="" />
+<span class="caption">A visitor came (<a href="#Page_4">page 4</a>)</span>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_ii" id="Page_ii">[ii]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img src="images/titlepage.png" width="400" height="600" alt="Title Page" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iii" id="Page_iii">[iii]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<div class='copyright'>
+COPYRIGHT 1902 BY SAMUEL McCHORD CROTHERS<br />
+ALL RIGHTS RESERVED<br />
+<br />
+<i>Published November, 1902</i><br />
+</div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" />
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_iv" id="Page_iv">[iv]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<div class='center'>
+<big>TO MARGERY</big><br />
+BECAUSE, AMONG OTHER THINGS,<br />
+WE LIKE THE SAME PEOPLE<br />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 12px;">
+<img src="images/leaf.png" width="12" height="18" alt="Leaf" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_v" id="Page_v">[v]</a></span></p>
+
+<h2>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
+
+
+
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Table of Contents">
+<tr><td align='left'>&nbsp;</td><td align='right'><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>A visitor came</i> (<i><a href="#Page_4">page 4</a></i>)</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_i">Frontispiece</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Mrs. Muffet had read this in a book</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_2">2</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>To meditate on the passage of time</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_3">3</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>The kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_4">4</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Fairly jumped off her tuffet</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_6">6</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_8">8</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>They sat down</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_9">9</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Every town crier in England</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_13">13</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>The blighted being</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_15">15</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_18">18</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Miss Muffet closed her eyes</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_19">19</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>She could catch glimpses of travelers</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#glimpses">20</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Tom Sawyer trying to "hitch on" behind</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_21">21</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#alice">23</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>"<i>This is the main caravan road to Bagdad</i>"</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_25">25</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Elves</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_28">28</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>The woods were full of merry little people</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_29">29</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>An old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_31">31</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_32">32</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Introduced the Orientals to the North Country people</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_33">33</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_37">37</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>"<i>Listening .&nbsp;.&nbsp;. is hard on the eyes</i>"</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_39">39</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_44">44</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi">[vi]</a></span><i>The shyest persons in the room</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_45">45</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Scampering off into the dark</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_47">47</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_54">54</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>"<i>I am sorry to be so late</i>"</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_55">55</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Hal cut his string</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_63">63</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>"<i>I don't think I ever knew two persons more different</i>"</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_65">65</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>"<i>You dear little Rosamond</i>"</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_67">67</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_69">69</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>One was beating the other</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_71">71</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>A little talk about dervishry</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_73">73</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>An expressive glance at the executioner</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_75">75</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Aladdin's brother and the Dervish</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_79">79</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_82">82</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>"<i>I must have the full set</i>"</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_85">85</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Telling anecdotes</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_87">87</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'>"<i>It all depends on grammar</i>"</td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_89">89</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Chapter Heading</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_92">92</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Wynken, Blynken, and Nod</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_93">93</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>He was a little prudent</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#prudent">96</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>The Rockaby Lady saying good-night</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_97">97</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Flew away .&nbsp;.&nbsp;. into the night</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_100">100</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Into his overcoat pocket</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_101">101</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began to dance</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_103">103</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>A long time to get on their overshoes</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_105">105</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Closed her eyes</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_106">106</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><i>Tail Piece</i></td><td align='right'><a href="#Page_107">107</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/i001.png" width="300" height="219" alt="Chapter I" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 132px;">
+<img src="images/i002.png" width="132" height="200" alt="Mrs. Muffet had read this in a book" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Mrs. Muffet had read this in a book</span>
+</div>
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">'Twas</span> the night before Christmas, and it was
+very quiet in Mrs. Muffet's house,&mdash;altogether too
+quiet, thought little Miss Muffet, as she sat trying
+to eat her curds and whey. For Mrs. Muffet was
+a very severe mother and had her own ideas about
+bringing up children,&mdash;and so had Mr. Muffet,
+or rather he had the same ideas, only warmed
+over. One of these was on the necessity of care in
+the diet of growing children. "First," said Mrs.
+Muffet, "we must find out what the children don't
+like, and then we must make them eat plenty of it;
+next to breaking their wills, there is nothing so
+necessary as breaking their appetites." Mrs. Muffet
+had read this in a book, and so she knew it must be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>
+true; and Mr. Muffet had heard Mrs. Muffet say
+it so many times that he knew it
+was true.</div>
+
+
+<p>So every morning little Miss
+Muffet had three courses: first,
+curds and whey; second,
+whey and curds; third,
+curdled whey. She had
+the same things for the
+other meals, but the order
+was changed about.
+An experienced housekeeper
+tells me that the
+third course is impossible
+to prepare, as whey cannot
+be curdled. All I have to say is that this
+housekeeper had not known Mrs. Muffet. Mrs.
+Muffet could curdle anything. But the worst days
+of the year for little Miss Muffet were the holidays,
+for they were occasions that had to be improved.
+Now for a little girl to improve an occasion is
+about the hardest work she can do, especially when
+she doesn't know how. If she had been left to
+herself, Miss Muffet wouldn't have improved them
+at all, but would have left them in their natural
+state.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<div class='center'> <table class="time" summary="time">
+<tr><td align='left'><div class='textleft'><br /><br />
+
+<p>"Christmas," said Mrs. Muffet
+in her most economical tone,
+"comes but once a year, so we
+must make it go as far as possible.
+The best way for a child
+to do that is to sit and meditate.
+You've no idea how long a holiday
+seems till you sit still and
+think about it. Count sixty, that
+will be just one
+minute, and another,
+and another,
+and then
+another&mdash;sixty
+times one, and
+then sixty times
+that, and then twenty-four times that makes&mdash;well&mdash;it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span>
+makes&mdash;the exact number doesn't matter
+much," said Mrs. Muffet, who wasn't quick
+at mental arithmetic, "but you'll see that there
+are quite a considerable number of seconds in
+Christmas Day&mdash;quite
+enough for any growing
+child." So at Christmas
+time Mrs. Muffet would go
+out to visit the neighbors,
+leaving the little girl seated
+on a very uncomfortable
+tuffet, to meditate on the
+passage of time.</p></div><br />
+<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
+<div class='textright'><p>Perhaps some of you
+would like to know what a
+tuffet is. I have thought
+of that myself, and have
+taken the trouble to ask several
+learned persons. They
+assure me that the most complete and satisfactory
+definition is,&mdash;a tuffet is the kind of thing that
+Miss Muffet sat on. With this explanation I shall
+go on with my story. As she sat on her tuffet
+counting up the seconds of Christmas Eve, and had
+already reached the sum of two thousand one hundred
+and seven, a strange thing happened. A visitor<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span>
+came and sat down beside her. You guess
+who he was? Yes&mdash;an elderly, benevolent spider.
+He was short-sighted and wore green spectacles,
+and had evidently a little rheumatism in his
+legs, but as he had eight of them, he managed to
+get along very well.</p></div>
+
+</td>
+</tr></table></div>
+
+
+
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 114px;">
+<img src="images/i004.png" width="114" height="200" alt="The kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on" title="" />
+<span class="caption">The kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on</span>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<p>Now the way you may have heard the story is
+that when the kind old spider sat down beside her,
+it frightened Miss Muffet away. That story must
+be true because I myself have seen it in print,
+but it happened at another time, when Miss Muffet
+was very little indeed.</p>
+
+<p>On the Christmas Eve I am telling about, she
+had become a very sensible little girl, and knew all
+about spiders, so instead of running away, she
+made room for him on the tuffet and said, "I am
+very glad to see you, Mr. Spider." Mr. Spider
+bowed and looked at her in a kindly way through
+his spectacles, but said nothing.</p>
+
+<p>"I hope your family are all well; I mean the
+family Arachnida, sub-order, I forget the name.
+We've enjoyed dissecting those we could get; and
+you deserve a great deal of credit for the curious
+way in which you are put together, with your
+funny thorax and everything."</p>
+
+<p>"Let's change the subject, Miss," said the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span>
+spider, moving toward the further side of the tuffet.
+"This is Christmas Eve."</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 274px;">
+<img src="images/i005.png" width="274" height="350" alt="Fairly jumped off her tuffet" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Fairly jumped off her tuffet</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"Yes," answered Miss Muffet wearily. "Sixty
+seconds make a minute; sixty minutes make an
+hour. Even Christmas Eve will come to an end
+some time; but what's the good? For then Christmas
+will come, and that will <i>never</i> get through."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"What do you say to a party?"</p>
+
+<p>Miss Muffet fairly jumped off her tuffet, for she
+had never had a party in her life. "Who will
+invite the people?"</p>
+
+<p>"I will," said the spider.</p>
+
+<p>"But do you think any one will come if <i>you</i>
+invite them?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why not?"</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! I was just thinking; some people are such
+'fraid-cats; and then, you know, once, one of your
+family invited the fly to walk into his parlor. I
+don't believe the story one bit, but then, you know,
+Mr. Spider, it caused talk."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Spider positively blushed green. "If you
+have no objection, let's change the subject again.
+Business is business; as for flies, there is a difference
+of opinion about them, and we can't all live on
+curds and whey, Miss Muffet. But this is to be
+your party, and we should not invite flies but folks.
+How would you like to have a literary party, and
+invite all the people you've read about?"</p>
+
+<p>"How delightful!" cried Miss Muffet gleefully.
+"What a dear old spider you are!"</p>
+
+<p>"Let's write the invitations immediately," said
+Mr. Spider, taking out of his pocket a ream of the
+most delicate cobweb paper.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/i006.png" width="300" height="205" alt="Chapter II" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">They</span> sat down with their heads very close together,
+and such a number of letters you never
+saw as Miss Muffet and the spider wrote. Some
+of them were very informal, like those beginning
+"Dear Little Bo-Peep" and "Dear Red Riding-Hood."
+They said, "Won't you come to a party
+at my house? We're going to have games."
+Others were very formal like that addressed to</div>
+
+<div class='poem'>
+The Reverend Swiss Robinson and Family,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 7em;">Tent House,</span><br />
+<span style="margin-left: 9em;">Desert Island,</span><br />
+</div>
+
+<div class='unindent'>stating that "Miss Muffet requests the pleasure of
+your company," etc. Then there were letters<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>
+addressed to Wonderland and Back of the North
+Wind, and to Lilliput and the Land where the Jumblies
+Live, and to all sorts of places which are to
+be found only on the best maps, and are not in the
+school geographies at all.</div>
+
+<p>Mr. Spider was very careful and businesslike,
+and insisted that Miss Muffet should always put
+down the exact address, for it would never do to
+have any of the letters go to the dead-letter office.
+Sometimes, however, they were puzzled to find the
+right direction.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 250px;">
+<img src="images/i007.png" width="250" height="162" alt="They sat down" title="" />
+<span class="caption">They sat down</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"Shall I address this letter to Norwich or the
+Moon?" asked Miss Muffet, handing him an
+envelope.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Ah!" said the spider, "this is a difficult case;
+it's hard to reach these traveling men. Here is
+a gentleman residing in the Moon, who suddenly
+sets out for Norwich without leaving his address.
+Better direct the letter to 'Norwich, General Delivery,'
+and write in the upper left hand corner, 'If
+not called for in five minutes, forward to the Moon.'"</p>
+
+<p>"And I suppose that Gloucester is Dr. Foster's
+address? That is where I last heard of him."</p>
+
+<p>"No; I'm afraid we shall have to give the
+doctor up. He is a very peculiar man and took a
+prejudice against the town, and vowed he would
+never go that way again."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, yes, I remember," said Miss Muffet; "it
+was because he didn't like the way they kept the
+roads."</p>
+
+<p>It was a difficult matter to get the correct titles
+for all the princes and princesses of Fairyland, and
+to learn the names of all the crowned heads. Of
+course, where their names were in the Court Directory
+it was easy enough, for the spider had a huge
+volume at his elbow; but he said that it was far
+from complete. All the giant-killers and the young
+men who married the kings' daughters were in it,
+but the kings themselves were often forgotten.</p>
+
+<p>"'A certain king had three daughters,'" said<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>
+Miss Muffet; "that's all that I know about him,
+but he ought to be invited. The postman will
+want to know which 'Certain King' it is, and what
+he's king of."</p>
+
+<p>"The best way to do," said the spider, "would
+be to address a hundred letters, each to 'A Certain
+King,' asking His Majesty to honor your party with
+his presence, and to bring with him a 'Certain
+Queen.' Then whenever the messenger comes across
+a king without any particular name he can give him
+an invitation. If you want to be more definite, you
+may address each letter to 'A Certain Kingdom.'"</p>
+
+<p>"But he has usually given away half of his
+kingdom."</p>
+
+<p>"That's true," said the spider; "you had better
+address it to 'The Other Half.'"</p>
+
+<p>Miss Muffet was troubled about the persons who
+had only lately risen in life.</p>
+
+<p>"There is Dumbling, who went out to chop wood,
+and the dwarf gave him a golden goose that made
+everything stick to it. The king's daughter in
+that certain kingdom had been so serious that the
+king had offered her to any one who would make
+her laugh; and when she saw Dumbling with the
+goose under his arm and the maids and the parson
+and all the rest following after, she laughed outright.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>
+She didn't mean to, but she couldn't help
+it. And now Dumbling is a prince, and is living
+happily ever afterward. I wonder if that makes
+any difference in his feelings, or if he likes to be
+called Dumbling."</p>
+
+<p>The spider said that it all depended on his wife.
+With such a serious person as she had been one
+must be careful about etiquette. Because she had
+laughed once was no sign that she would do it
+again.</p>
+
+<p>"Shall you invite any plain boys and girls who
+live in the Every Day Country?" asked the
+spider.</p>
+
+<p>This was a hard question, for the Muffets were
+an old family who had come across with Mother
+Goose, and at this moment Every Day Country
+seemed a long way off and just a bit uninteresting.
+But then Miss Muffet remembered how many kind
+friends she had found there, and answered,&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, certainly, we must send invitations to the
+Every Day Country, for some of the folks there
+are just as good as the Dreamland people, only of
+course they haven't had the same advantages."</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 203px;">
+<img src="images/i008.png" width="203" height="250" alt="Every town crier in England" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Every town crier in England</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>So letters were sent to Prudy and Dotty Dimple
+and the Bodley Family, and to the Little Men and
+Little Women and Lord Fauntleroy and the rest.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>
+A special letter was written to the little Ruggleses,
+and to Tiny Tim and all the Cratchetts, for Miss
+Muffet knew that they were always ready to have
+a good time on Christmas. A message was sent to
+every town crier in England, asking him to make
+immediate proclamation in the streets that if any
+small boy who was a Prince and a Pauper would
+make himself known, he would hear something<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>
+greatly to his advantage, for he was invited to Miss
+Muffet's Party.</p>
+
+<p>The longest letter was that sent to Agamemnon
+Peterkin. Miss Muffet wrote it very carefully,
+underscoring all the important parts, and adding
+a map showing the way from the Peterkins' house
+to the palace. She asked him to bring all the
+family, including the little boys.</p>
+
+<p>"I don't see how he can make a mistake," she
+said, "but he probably will. They are all so ingenious.
+They find out how to make mistakes
+that other folks would never think of."</p>
+
+<p>"What about Mr. Henty's boys?" said the
+spider; "there are so many of them."</p>
+
+<p>"There seem to be a great many of them," said
+Miss Muffet, "but I've sometimes thought that
+there may be only two, only they live in different
+centuries and go to different wars. Boys can
+do that, can't they, Mr. Spider, if they are very
+brave?"</p>
+
+<p>The spider said he thought they could without
+changing their characters, but of course they would
+have to change their names.</p>
+
+<p>So an invitation was sent to Ronald Leslie,
+alias Wulf, Roger, Lionel, Stanley, etc., On The
+Firing Line, Near Carthage, Quebec, Cr&eacute;cy, Waterloo,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>
+Khartoum, or wherever the Enemy may be
+found in force.
+Forward by a
+swift messenger,
+trusty and true.</p>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 243px;">
+<img src="images/i009.png" width="243" height="500" alt="The blighted being." title="" />
+
+</div>
+<p>"I shouldn't
+wonder if they
+might be a little
+late, for they may
+be taken prisoner,
+and it always
+takes them
+some time to escape."</p>
+
+<p>"Shall you invite
+any bad
+boys?" asked
+the spider.</p>
+
+
+
+<p>"No," answered
+Miss
+Muffet severely,
+"not as a rule;
+but I think we
+shall ask Mr.
+Aldrich's Bad Boy, for he is a blighted being. I
+think it's our duty to have him,&mdash;and then it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>
+would be such fun. And I suppose we ought to
+invite Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer to keep
+him company."</p>
+
+<p>"Of course you will invite all the good boys?"</p>
+
+<p>"Of course we shall invite them, as a rule. But
+the good boys in the books are almost too good
+sometimes; don't you think so, Mr. Spider? I
+mean almost too good to be true. But that reminds
+me; I suppose we should invite Rollo?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," said the spider, "we certainly must invite
+Rollo; he's a worthy lad, and of an inquiring
+mind."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh dear!" said Miss Muffet, tearing up the
+letter she had just written, "he's so intelligent.
+I'll have to write very correctly or he'll criticise
+the spelling; and then if I invite Rollo, I shall
+have to invite Jonas, too."</p>
+
+<p>"Certainly," said the spider, "we must invite
+Jonas, and we must arrange some moral amusement.
+Suppose in your invitation you leave out
+the word 'party' and ask him to attend a 'serious
+symposium.' How would this do?&mdash;'Respected
+Sir, You are earnestly requested to attend a serious
+symposium at Miss Muffet's, to meet the Rev. Swiss
+Robinson and other persons interested in the education
+of youth. The Little Old Woman who<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>
+lived in a Shoe will preside. There will be a
+number of papers, to be followed by a discussion.'"</p>
+
+<p>"How good that is! Jonas would so love a discussion,"
+said Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"Shall we invite any giants?"</p>
+
+<p>"No; I don't want to be exclusive, but we
+must draw the line somewhere. Let's draw it at
+giants."</p>
+
+<p>"Very well," said the spider, throwing into the
+waste-basket the letter he had just addressed to
+His Majesty the King of the Brobdingnags.</p>
+
+<p>At last the invitations were all written, and the
+kind old spider said, "Now lie down, my dear, on
+the tuffet and close your eyes, and I will make all
+the preparations and wake you in time for the
+party."</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/i010.png" width="300" height="327" alt="Chapter III" title="" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/i011.png" width="300" height="138" alt="Miss Muffet closed her eyes" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Miss Muffet closed her eyes</span>
+</div>
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">Miss Muffet</span> closed her eyes, and had already
+begun to dream of curds and whey, when all at
+once she was awakened and found herself in a most
+wonderful palace. The walls and floors were made
+of the sheerest, filmiest spider's-web, woven into a
+thousand delicate patterns. A soft light shone
+through the tapestries, and the dewdrops on the
+roof sparkled like diamonds. The music that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>
+floated in through the open windows was not so
+much a sound as a part of the atmosphere. She
+was not sure whether she heard it or only breathed
+it in. Everything was so shimmering and so
+dainty that Miss Muffet might have thought that
+she was dreaming had it not been for the spider,
+who looked so comical in his dress-suit that she
+laughed outright. The moment she laughed, Miss
+Muffet knew that everything was real.</div>
+
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"><a name="glimpses" id="glimpses"></a>
+<img src="images/i012.png" width="300" height="348" alt="She could catch glimpses of travelers" title="" />
+<span class="caption">She could catch glimpses of travelers</span>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 340px;"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21"></a>
+<img src="images/i013.png" width="340" height="500" alt="Tom Sawyer trying to &quot;hitch on&quot; behind" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Tom Sawyer trying to &quot;hitch on&quot; behind</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>For a minute she did not dare to trust herself
+on the floor, but when she took a step she had the
+most delightful experience of walking on air. She
+went to one of the great windows. If the palace
+had been wonderful, how much more wonderful
+was the view from it. Far as the eye could reach
+were the shining paths of spider's-web, each one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>
+leading over hill and dale to the palace door. Now
+the paths were on the ground, now with bridges
+from grass blade to grass blade, sometimes from
+tree to tree; and far off she could see them spanning
+deep valleys among the hills. By and by
+she could catch glimpses of travelers on the road,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span>
+some in coaches, some on foot, some on horseback,
+coming by twos and dozens and scores.</p>
+
+<p>"They're coming to the party," said the spider.</p>
+
+
+<p>Sure enough, there was Cinderella in her coach
+with the Prince sitting by her side, and Tom Sawyer
+trying to "hitch on" behind. And there was
+Alice with all the strange friends she had found in
+Wonderland; and a very queer set they were, for
+Wonderland is rather out of the world, and the
+fashions of the Wonderlanders were peculiar, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>
+not at all like anything Miss Muffet had ever
+seen before. And then how they did act! It was a
+great relief to see, after the March Hare and the
+Cheshire Cat and the Duchess, who were skipping
+along in the most extraordinary manner, Mr. Robinson
+Crusoe. "He looks so solid and respectable,"
+said Miss Muffet, "and so English, you know."</p>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 300px;"><a name="alice" id="alice"></a>
+<img src="images/i014.png" width="300" height="249" alt="Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"Come to the east window," said the spider.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Muffet went with him and looked out on
+a great level road stretching toward the sunrise.
+Just where it seemed to touch the sky she could
+see a grove of palm-trees, and she thought she
+could see, beyond, the golden domes and minarets
+of a city. But she was not quite sure of this, for
+it might have been the clouds. A faint perfume as
+of rare spices floated to her as the wind sprang up.</p>
+
+<p>"This," said the spider, "is the main caravan
+road to Bagdad." A golden dust seemed to rise
+in the distance among the palms. At last Miss
+Muffet could see a caravan.</p>
+
+<p>"Take this glass," said the spider, handing her
+an opera-glass. Then Miss Muffet could see very
+well. There were the Sultan and the Caliph and
+the Grand Vizier, and the silk merchants and the
+calenders, and the princesses of every degree,&mdash;all
+on camels most wonderful to behold.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 261px;">
+<img src="images/i015.png" width="261" height="500" alt="&quot;This is the main caravan road to Bagdad&quot;" title="" />
+<span class="caption">&quot;This is the main caravan road to Bagdad&quot;</span>
+</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Do you see the Forty Thieves?" asked the
+spider uneasily. "If you do, we'd better count
+the spoons."</p>
+
+<p>Then Miss Muffet went to the north window,
+and such a sight as she saw there! There was
+frost on all the roads, and snow on the far mountains,
+and the great pine forest on that side came
+almost to the palace doors. And such pine-trees
+as they were! Each one looked like a great
+Christmas tree. The woods were full of merry
+little people, with such frosty twinkles in their
+eyes that it did one good to look at them. They
+talked Swedish and German and Icelandic and
+all sorts of queer languages, but somehow they
+laughed so naturally, and were so simple and
+hearty, that Miss Muffet understood every word.
+There were hosts of brownies and elves and
+fairies, and intelligent white bears, and one or two
+reformed wolves, and an old witch who was not
+nearly so bad as she looked, and the Marsh King
+and his daughters, and an old gentleman who
+looked so much like Santa Claus that Miss Muffet
+was sure that he must be his brother. Indeed, she
+could not help noticing that a great many of these
+North Country folks bore a strong family resemblance
+to Santa Claus,&mdash;but perhaps it was only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>
+the way they wore
+their beards.
+When she saw
+them all, she was
+sorry that she
+had not invited
+Santa Claus himself.
+She hadn't
+asked him, because,
+as she told Mr. Spider, it was Christmas Eve,
+and it might seem suggestive. But the truth of the
+matter was, as I suspect, that she thought he would
+probably drop in of his own accord, some time in the
+course of the evening.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img src="images/i016.png" width="400" height="469" alt="Elves" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Elves</span>
+</div>
+
+<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 339px;">
+<img src="images/i017.png" width="339" height="500" alt="The woods were full of merry little people" title="" />
+<span class="caption">The woods were full of merry little people</span>
+</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>As the brisk little people from the North came
+up the palace steps, Miss Muffet was sure that
+Hans Christian Andersen must have had a party
+once, or how could he have described them so
+well? "Indeed," she said, "if I didn't know
+what day of the month and what year it is, I
+should almost think that this is 'Once upon a
+Time.'"</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 259px;">
+<img src="images/i018.png" width="259" height="300" alt="An old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked" title="" />
+<span class="caption">An old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked</span>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img src="images/i019.png" width="400" height="354" alt="Chapter IV" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">When</span> the guests began to come in, Miss Muffet
+was all in a flurry for fear she should not do her
+duty as a hostess; but she needn't have worried a
+bit, for they were so much interested in themselves
+that they paid very little attention to her. Then
+she had the assistance of two widely traveled
+storks, who, having their summer residences in
+Norway and spending their winters in Bagdad, had
+a great number of acquaintances, and introduced
+the Orientals to the North Country people. It was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span>
+delightful to see how quickly they all became
+acquainted. Little Dutch Gretchen in her wooden
+shoes was not at all like the Persian Princess whom
+she now met for the first time, but they were soon
+warm friends though they had moved in such
+different society. At first Miss Muffet was afraid
+that the wooden shoes might spoil the spider's-web
+floor; but there was no real danger of this, for the
+spider, knowing that there would be a very great
+crowd, had made everything very strong.</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 343px;"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33"></a>
+<img src="images/i020.png" width="343" height="500" alt="Introduced the Orientals to the North Country people" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Introduced the Orientals to the North Country people</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>There was a little man in a huge bearskin coat
+who came from Back of the North Wind. At
+first he was shy and awkward, but it was beautiful
+to see how soon he was put at ease when
+Aladdin came up and explained to him the virtues
+of his wonderful lamp. The little man said that
+such a lamp must be very useful, but when it
+came to illuminating power it was nothing to what
+he had at home, for he had an Aurora Borealis
+in every room. Then the little man chuckled to
+himself, for he wanted every one to know that
+the Back of the North Wind Country was not so
+uncivilized as people supposed.</p>
+
+<p>In a corner she found a delightful group of
+seafaring folks. Dr. Lemuel Gulliver was telling
+the story of one of his voyages. He was such a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span>
+matter-of-fact person, and so accurate about the
+latitude and longitude, that Miss Muffet had the
+greatest confidence in him, and felt that, though
+he might be mistaken in regard to the main points,
+all the details happened exactly as he said. His
+story reminded Sindbad the Sailor of something
+that had happened to him. He told his story in
+a charming oriental way, but without a touch of
+exaggeration.</p>
+
+<p>"That would have spoiled it," said Miss Muffet
+to Baron Munchausen, who was standing by.
+"Don't you like simplicity, Baron?"</p>
+
+<p>The Baron bowed in a courtly, old-fashioned
+way, and said that he was inordinately fond of it.
+Miss Muffet heard a rippling, liquid sound which
+she at first mistook for laughter, but the Baron
+assured her that it was only the frozen truth beginning
+to thaw. This reminded him of a little
+incident which was wonderful to hear. Everybody
+was astonished except the Three Wise Men
+of Gotham. They remarked that if they were at
+liberty to tell their adventures, as seafaring men,
+the stories that had been told would seem quite
+tame; but they didn't feel at liberty, and only
+looked at each other so wisely that Miss Muffet
+wondered whether any persons could really be as
+wise as they looked.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 346px;">
+<img src="images/i021.png" width="346" height="500" alt="Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp</span>
+</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figright" style="width: 184px;">
+<img src="images/i022.png" width="184" height="250" alt="&quot;Listening .&nbsp;.&nbsp;. is hard on the eyes&quot;" title="" />
+<span class="caption">&quot;Listening .&nbsp;.&nbsp;. is hard on the eyes&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>A sturdy, round-faced man stood just behind
+the group, but took no part in the conversation.
+Whenever Sindbad was talking he became so excited
+that his eyes
+seemed almost to
+pop out of his
+head, but he quieted
+down as soon
+as any one else
+began. After a
+time Sindbad
+came over to him,
+and taking out
+his purse, gave
+him a handful of
+gold pieces.</p>
+
+<p>"A hundred
+sequins?" asked
+Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+
+<p>"Yes," said the round-faced man, "that's my
+regular wages."</p>
+
+<p>"It must be a very large amount."</p>
+
+<p>He said he had no complaint to make, though a
+sequin didn't go so far in Bagdad as it once did,
+and he had to spend a great deal in clothes.</p>
+
+<p>"I knew the minute I saw you that you must be
+Hindbad the Porter."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"I used to be a porter before I became a professional
+listener. Listening isn't so hard on the
+back as portering, but it requires more attention
+and the hours are longer; that is, they seem longer.
+Besides, it's hard on the eyes."</p>
+
+<p>"You mean on the ears," suggested Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"No! on the eyes; you have to look interested."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh! I understand," said Miss Muffet. "When
+first I heard about your being invited to dinner at
+Sindbad's and listening to his first tale, it seemed
+the very nicest thing in the world. And how unexpected
+it was, after you had enjoyed it, for him
+to hand you a hundred sequins and say, 'Take
+this, Hindbad, and return to your home, and come
+back to-morrow and hear more of my adventures.'
+Weren't you surprised to hear a story and get a
+hundred sequins besides?"</p>
+
+<p>Hindbad said that he was surprised at first, but
+after a day or two he began to look at it more in
+a business way. He had always made it a rule to
+be thorough, for whatever was worth doing was
+worth doing well, and he determined to be the
+very best listener in Bagdad.</p>
+
+<p>"You see, in my country, we have a great many
+gentlemen who gain wealth by having adventures.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>
+When they come back from their shipwrecks, they
+naturally want to tell about them; but there's so
+much competition that it's hard to get a hearing.
+When they meet with people, like those horrid
+Wise Men of Gotham, who prefer their own shipwrecks,
+they go into a decline."</p>
+
+<p>His eyes filled with tears, and Miss Muffet was
+sure that he was one of the most sympathetic men
+in the world.</p>
+
+<p>"Now I had a great advantage," he went on;
+"I never had a shipwreck of my own, so that I
+could not be reminded of something that would
+make me interrupt. And then it is easy for me
+to have a story seem strange. I seem to have a
+natural gift for it. Any one can be surprised the
+first time he hears an adventure, but if one is to
+become a professional listener he must cultivate the
+habit of being surprised. Now that story about
+the roc's egg grows upon me; indeed it does! I
+don't think I appreciated it at first. That's the
+way with all big things; it's some time before you
+take them in. Even Mr. Sindbad says that it
+didn't seem as big when he saw it as it does now
+when he remembers it. And whenever I hear
+about those huge serpents it makes me shudder, and
+I ask Mr. Sindbad to hurry on and tell me that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>
+he really did get away from them. I can't stand
+the suspense. The cannibals are frightful creatures,
+Miss Muffet; they say they eat people. Mr.
+Sindbad has a perfect genius for having accidents.
+They come in the most unexpected places.
+And then he escapes. I sometimes think that is
+the most wonderful part of it."</p>
+
+<p>"Do you think a little girl who studied hard
+could learn your profession and practice in Bagdad?"
+asked Miss Muffet timidly. "You know I
+wouldn't ask for wages; I would do it just for the
+love of it."</p>
+
+<p>Hindbad frowned darkly. "It would never do,
+Miss Muffet! I can't have little girls coming over
+on the banks of the Tigris and taking the bread
+out of the mouths of my family."</p>
+
+<p>But when he saw that Miss Muffet was beginning
+to cry, he changed his tone and said, "I am sure
+you meant no harm, only you didn't understand
+about the wages. You could easily earn a hundred
+sequins at listening, and it isn't so hard to learn
+when you are young. I would give that much
+myself to have you listen to a queer thing that
+happened to me once in Bagdad. I've never told
+it before, for I never found any one who looked
+interested. It was in one of the narrowest streets<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>
+down by the water-side, and it was on the darkest
+night of the year, when"&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>Just then the spider came to take Miss Muffet
+away to meet some children who came from The
+Golden Age. Their names were Harold and Edward
+and Charlotte, and they said they had an
+Aunt Maria, who had stayed at home because she
+had not been invited to the party. They had
+walked all the way along the Roman Road, which
+made the spider think that they must be tired. In
+this he was mistaken; though they said that they
+were ready for the refreshments.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
+<img src="images/i023.png" width="350" height="356" alt="Chapter V" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">The</span> Golden Age children said that they didn't
+like to play with grown folks; after people got to
+be thirty or ninety they thought they became very
+uninteresting, and didn't have the right kind of
+feelings; unless they were Princes and went on
+adventures.</div>
+
+<p>Miss Muffet didn't agree with this because some
+of her best friends were elderly peasants whose
+faces were all puckered up because they had been<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>
+smiling for so many years. She wished, though,
+that they were not so shy.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 327px;">
+<img src="images/i024.png" width="327" height="450" alt="The shyest persons in the room" title="" />
+<span class="caption">The shyest persons in the room</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"I suppose it's because they are not used to
+going to parties; neither am I, for that matter, but
+then I'm not so much used as they are to <i>not</i> going."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Perhaps the shyest persons in the room were an
+old German shoemaker and his wife, whom Miss
+Muffet had for a long time loved and admired,
+though they had not known it. Indeed, they didn't
+know that any one was ever admired unless he had
+found a pot of gold or done something equally praiseworthy.
+The shoemaker had never done anything
+but make shoes, and his wife did the cooking
+and made the clothes for the family. When
+they received the invitation to the party, they were
+greatly astonished and thought it must be a mistake,
+but the village priest, who read the letter,
+told them that it was certainly intended for them,
+though why they were invited was a mystery.
+When the priest told them that it was a mystery,
+they knew that it was so, and came along bowing
+and curtsying as if all the persons they met were
+their betters, though really only one or two were
+half so good. Miss Muffet ran to them and put her
+hands in theirs.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 348px;"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47"></a>
+<img src="images/i025.png" width="348" height="500" alt="Scampering off into the dark" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Scampering off into the dark</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"I have just loved you since the time I heard
+what you did for the little elves who used to come
+at night after you had gone to bed and finish your
+work for you. Some people take what's done for
+them and think no more about it except that they're
+lucky; but you sat up till midnight and peeped<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>
+into the room where the elves were working, and
+saw that they didn't have enough clothes to keep
+them warm. Then you made each one a shirt and
+a coat and waistcoat and a pair of trousers and
+a little pair of shoes. What fun it must have been,
+next night, to watch them putting on their things
+and scampering off into the dark. I never heard of
+elves being dressed up like that."</p>
+
+<p>The shoemaker and his wife laughed heartily as
+they remembered how funny the elves were. The
+wife confessed that the garments didn't fit closely,
+though she made them like her husband's, only
+smaller.</p>
+
+<p>"Elves are not so square, are they?" asked
+Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"No," said the shoemaker's wife; "but their
+clothes are. That's the only pattern I have."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose they are coming to the party? I
+sent a general invitation to Elf-land. There is to
+be elfin music and a frolic for them. I thought
+they might like it better to have their own games.
+Your elves can't say they have nothing to wear,
+because that wouldn't be true."</p>
+
+<p>But though she looked everywhere for them, nowhere
+could she see the little elves in square coats
+and trousers. When the refreshments were served,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>
+Mr. Spider noticed that everything went remarkably
+smoothly, and there was more of all kinds of
+provisions than he had ordered. He said he had
+no doubt but that the little elves were helping in
+the kitchen.</p>
+
+<p>"It would be just like them; the little dears!"
+said Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>The shoemaker felt very much more at home
+when he met a young fellow named Hans who had
+come from the same village. He was not the Hans
+who married Grettel, but the one whom Miss Muffet
+had often heard of because he traded a horse
+for a cow, the cow for a pig, the pig for a goose,
+and so on, all the way home. This caused a good
+deal of talk in the neighborhood, and some of the
+villagers thought he wasn't much of a business
+man.</p>
+
+<p>Hans, however, was perfectly satisfied with himself,
+and was quite ready to talk.</p>
+
+<p>"The secret of being a trader," he said, "is to
+be quick about it. You must not stop to think:
+that's where you lose time. If I had stopped to
+think, I should have brought the horse home with
+me, and I might have had it on my hands yet.
+There are ever so many people grumbling about
+the care of their property; they say it is a burden<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>
+to them. I tell them that it's all their own fault.
+If they kept their eyes open, they would find plenty
+of ways of getting rid of it."</p>
+
+<p>Hans had such a shrewd twinkle in his eyes that
+Miss Muffet felt sure that he would always get the
+best of a bargain, no matter how it turned out.</p>
+
+<p>While Hans was talking, she noticed a little man
+who looked like a tailor.</p>
+
+<p>"Didn't you start on a journey once," she asked,
+"with only a piece of cheese and an old hen in
+your wallet?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes," he answered; "but that was a good
+while ago."</p>
+
+<p>"I thought you must be the one. And you
+fooled the giant, and when he squeezed a stone till
+water came out of it, you squeezed your cheese till
+the whey ran out, and he thought your cheese was
+a stone, and that you squeezed harder than he did.
+And he never saw through any of your tricks,
+though I should have thought that even a giant
+would have suspected. Are all giants so stupid?"</p>
+
+<p>The tailor said that not all of them were so
+stupid, though fortunately a great many were, and
+generally when they grew beyond a certain size,
+something happened to their heads.</p>
+
+<p>"If it weren't for that, Miss Muffet, there would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span>
+be no room for us common people on the earth.
+The giants would eat up everything. Now and
+then there is a young giant like Thumbling who is
+active and keeps his wits about him. But Thumbling
+was very little to begin with. Most giants
+get foolish when they grow up, and then we can
+put an end to them."</p>
+
+<p>When the talk got upon giants, it was astonishing
+to see what an eager crowd gathered around
+the tailor. There were some knights in armor
+who listened unconcernedly, for they knew that
+giants could do them no harm; but it was different
+with the tailors and fishermen and ploughmen.
+They had suffered so much that they could not
+speak of a giant without bitterness.</p>
+
+<p>"But aren't there good giants?" asked Miss
+Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"I never heard of one," said the tailor, "except
+Christopher, and he is a saint and learned how to
+fast. It isn't a question of their being good: the
+trouble with them is that they are too big. It
+takes too much to support them. They eat us out
+of house and home. We can't get along peaceably
+till we are all more of a size."</p>
+
+<p>They were all of that opinion, and the stories
+which they applauded were of the kind where a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span>
+little man gets the better of a big one. Miss Muffet
+could not object to this, because it was the kind
+she liked best herself.</p>
+
+<p>"I never have been so much afraid of giants,"
+she said, "since I learned about their diseases.
+They are not nearly so strong as they look. There
+was Giant Despair,&mdash;'in sunshiny weather he fell
+into fits.' It was while he was having a fit, you
+know, that Christian and Hopeful got away. If I
+were going where there were bad giants, I should
+go in sunshiny weather."</p>
+
+<p>"I don't think you would have any trouble, my
+dear," said the shoemaker, "for you would take
+the sunshine with you."</p>
+
+<p>And then he laughed to think of Giant Despair
+tumbling over in a fit when he caught sight of
+Miss Muffet. For though the shoemaker was a
+very kind man, he had no sympathy for giants.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
+<img src="images/i026.png" width="350" height="299" alt="Chapter VI" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">There</span> were so many interesting things going
+on at the party that Miss Muffet almost forgot the
+Serious Symposium. When she did remember it,
+she was very much troubled.</div>
+
+<p>"What will Rollo think about me for being so
+negligent! I invited him particularly to come
+to a symposium, and now I don't even know how
+it is done."</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 419px;"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55"></a>
+<img src="images/i027.png" width="419" height="500" alt="&quot;I am sorry to be so late&quot;" title="" />
+<span class="caption">&quot;I am sorry to be so late&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The spider, however, told her that he had secured
+a hall up two flights, and had arranged the chairs
+and a table, which were all the arrangements necessary<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>
+for a meeting. He had seen a number of
+serious persons going upstairs, and he had no doubt
+that it was a success.</p>
+
+<p>When she reached the hall, the papers had all
+been read and discussed, and the Little Old Woman,
+who was in the chair, was just announcing
+that the next business before the house was to
+adjourn.</p>
+
+<p>"I am sorry to be so late," said Miss Muffet,
+"and to miss hearing the papers."</p>
+
+<p>"If that's the case," said the Little Old Woman,
+"we will have them all over again. The speakers
+will read slowly, so that the papers will go
+further."</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, please don't on my account!" cried Miss
+Muffet, all in a tremble. "Don't let me interfere
+with your adjourning. I know that must be important
+business."</p>
+
+<p>The Little Old Woman said that it was the most
+important business of the meeting.</p>
+
+<p>"Does it take long?" asked Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"Not if you know how to do it," said the Little
+Old Woman.</p>
+
+<p>"Then I will just sit down and watch it."</p>
+
+<p>The Little Old Woman rapped upon the table
+with a huge button-hook, and went about the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span>
+business so briskly that before Miss Muffet knew
+what had happened, the meeting had adjourned.</p>
+
+<p>"Were the papers so quick?" she asked.</p>
+
+<p>"No, they weren't; papers are never that way."</p>
+
+<p>"What were they about?"</p>
+
+<p>"The white ones were about 'Child Study,' and
+the yellow ones were about 'Obedience to Parents'
+and 'Not Losing Your Thimble.' The yellow ones
+were the ones I knew best; I used to have them
+when I was a little girl."</p>
+
+<p>"Then the white ones must be harder. Is Child
+Study harder than Arithmetic?"</p>
+
+<p>"There are two kinds. One kind is where you
+take the children you are acquainted with and tell
+what you know about them. That kind isn't so
+good to make papers out of. It's too short. The
+other kind is where you get at 'the Contents of the
+Child's Mind.' I can't say that it's harder than
+Arithmetic, for it is Arithmetic, only it's further
+on than you've got. It's percentage. You take
+eleven hundred little girls in blue dresses and make
+them fill out blanks. You ask them which they
+like best, chocolate caramels or peppermint drops."</p>
+
+<p>"Which <i>do</i> they like best?" asked Miss Muffet,
+who had often thought about that question herself.</p>
+
+<p>"You can't tell," answered the Little Old Woman;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span>
+"all you know is the answers: they depend
+on which words the little girls can spell easiest.
+The chief thing is to get the percentage. Then
+you write a paper. If it doesn't come out right,
+you ask eleven hundred little girls in pink dresses
+and they answer differently. Then you have a
+Problem."</p>
+
+<p>"What is a Problem?" asked Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"It's something to discuss," said the Little Old
+Woman.</p>
+
+<p>"Why don't they ask their mothers?"</p>
+
+<p>"The mothers are too busy. Besides, their children
+are all exceptions. You can't make anything
+out of exceptions,&mdash;there are too many of them.
+If you let them in, it just musses up the Science.
+The best way is to keep them out."</p>
+
+<p>"But their mothers like them," said Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes; they think that they are the nicest kind."</p>
+
+<p>When she had time to look around her, Miss
+Muffet was surprised to see how different the company
+was from that in the other parts of the palace.</p>
+
+<p>"They look as if something had been done to
+them," said Miss Muffet. "Oh! now I know who
+they are! They must be Youths. I've always
+read about Youths in the books mamma makes me
+read on Sunday afternoon, but I didn't know that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>
+they were real. Some of them look almost like
+boys and girls, only less so."</p>
+
+<p>Sure enough, the room was full of Youths. They
+came out of the Sunday-school books and the Fifth
+Readers and the Moral Tales and the Libraries of
+Instructive Juvenile Literature. Some had never
+been out of a book before, and found it impossible
+to talk in anything but the book language. Some
+were evidently very good, and some were painful
+examples of youthful wickedness, while others were
+chiefly interested in Natural History.</p>
+
+<p>"Youths," said the Little Old Woman, "are
+easier to understand than boys and girls and other
+young folks. Youths have habits, and each one
+practices only one at a time. When they do a
+naughty thing, they keep on doing it regularly;
+that's the way you come to know which is which.
+It doesn't matter what it is, whether Vanity or Procrastination
+or Not Bringing in the Wood, they
+keep it up till they have been made to see the folly
+of it, or are given over to their evil ways. Now
+children are more changeable. When I lived in a
+Shoe, I was driven half out of my wits, for I never
+could be thorough when I reproved them, they
+were always naughty in a different way. I don't
+believe that any one could have got any of my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>
+children into a book; they wouldn't keep still long
+enough to have their characters taken."</p>
+
+<p>Almost all the Youths were accompanied by their
+parents or guardians, though some had private tutors.
+Two youthful persons from the eighteenth
+century attracted a great deal of attention. They
+were Harry Sandford and Tommy Merton. Harry
+was a great philosopher, and understood so perfectly
+the principles of the Wedge and the Inclined Plane
+and the Moral Law that it was hard to believe his
+friend, Mr. Barlow, who stated that he was only six
+years old. Tommy, on the other hand, until his
+sixth year had been quite worldly, and had held a
+number of erroneous opinions. Under Harry's
+instruction, however, he had been much improved
+and was now quite sedate and observing.</p>
+
+<p>Somehow the painful examples appealed to Miss
+Muffet most, for she was very tender-hearted.
+There was the little criminal who once stole a pin.
+Miss Muffet had always understood that a pin was
+the very worst thing to steal; it had such fearful
+consequences. The last consequence generally is
+that one is transported. And there was an example
+of youthful obstinacy who wouldn't pronounce the
+letter G. His mother was almost broken-hearted
+for fear he might take a prejudice against other<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>
+letters of the alphabet. She sat up three nights
+with him and spent days trying to make him
+say G.</p>
+
+<p>"It shows that she was a good mother, doesn't
+it?" said Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"It shows that she didn't have to do her own
+work," replied the Little Old Woman.</p>
+
+<p>A group of very old-fashioned children were
+talking together in whispers. They were evidently
+anxious that no older persons should hear them.</p>
+
+<p>"There they are at it again," said the Little Old
+Woman; "they are Mrs. Opie's children. People
+don't know them so well now, but they used to be
+notorious for telling White Lies. I have no doubt
+that they are doing it now; they are exaggerating."</p>
+
+<p>"What's that?" asked Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"It's telling how large a thing is before you've
+measured it."</p>
+
+<p>"But what if you haven't a tape-line with
+you?"</p>
+
+<p>"Then you should say nothing about it."</p>
+
+<p>"There is Hal," said Miss Muffet; "I know him
+by the miserable piece of string hanging out of his
+pocket. Hal cut his string. It was a sin and he
+suffers for it. His cousin Ben untied his and has<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span>
+it always ready for emergencies. All his emergencies
+are of that kind; they need a piece of whipcord
+to bring them out right. I've no doubt but that
+to-night the coach of one of the very prettiest princesses
+will break down and Ben will tie it up. It
+would be just his luck."</p>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 165px;">
+<img src="images/i028.png" width="165" height="350" alt="Hal cut his string" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Hal cut his string</span>
+</div>
+<p>Of course it was not
+long before Miss Muffet
+sought out Rollo Halliday.</p>
+
+
+
+<p>"I always did like
+Rollo," she said. "I almost
+forget that he is a
+Youth sometimes. The
+nicest thing about him is
+that you always know
+what he means. He always
+tells you where he is
+and how he got there,
+without skipping anything
+that you ought to
+know. When he goes
+into a room, he goes
+through the door, opening
+and shutting the door just as you expected. He
+isn't at all like Humpty Dumpty. I don't think<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>
+I ever knew two persons more different. There
+was only one time when he puzzled me. When he
+went to Europe, and they told him how the French
+did things, 'Rollo laughed long and loud.' It was
+so unusual. I read it over and over, but I couldn't
+tell what he laughed at. I think he might have
+explained, but I suppose he forgot."</p>
+
+<p>It certainly was a pleasant thing to see Rollo
+surrounded by a group of kindred spirits. They
+were the healthiest and happiest Youths in the company,
+for they had lived a great deal in the open
+air, and had kept their eyes open.</p>
+
+<p>Rollo was engaged in a dispute with little Francis
+about the comparative merits of New England
+and a Desert Island for farming. Jonas said little,
+but what he did say carried great weight.</p>
+
+<p>Rollo expressed himself as highly pleased with
+the Symposium. He was sorry that there was not
+time for a paper on "The New Boy" and a discussion
+of the question, "Are not the Young Growing
+Younger?" He said he had seen some dangerous
+tendencies in that direction.</p>
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/i029.png" width="300" height="312" alt="&quot;I don&#39;t think I ever knew two persons more different&quot;" title="" />
+<span class="caption">&quot;I don&#39;t think I ever knew two persons more different&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Having said this, Rollo walked to the other side of
+the room, and having found a settee, sat down on it.</p>
+
+<p>Scarcely had Rollo sat down when Miss Muffet
+saw a little girl whose face was very familiar.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<p>"You are Rosamond, aren't you? And once
+you bought a beautiful purple jar instead of shoes,
+even though your old shoes had holes in them?"</p>
+
+<p>"It was a youthful indiscretion," said Rosamond,
+"and I have learned a lesson from it."</p>
+
+<p>"It was just lovely. Any one can have shoes,
+but a purple jar is something one dreams about:
+it's almost as good as having a party."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Then she looked very anxiously at Rosamond
+and said,&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"I hope it didn't happen to you? Since first
+I read the story Miss Edgeworth told about you
+and the purple jar, I couldn't get out of my head
+the dreadful lines with which she begins,&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class='poem'>
+'O teach her while your lessons last<br />
+To judge the future by the past,<br />
+The mind to strengthen and anneal<br />
+While on the stithy glows the steel.'<br />
+</div>
+
+<p>It seemed such a dreadful thing to have your mind
+annealed, and you so little. I'm sure it's something
+uncomfortable. And then how hard it was
+for your mamma to make you <i>choose</i> to do all the
+unpleasant things. I don't mind doing them when
+I'm told to, but to have to choose them rumples
+up my mind. That must have been an awful
+time when you had to choose a needle-book instead
+of that funny stone plum that you could have
+fooled the boys with."</p>
+
+<p>"But Mamma wanted to train me to be a Free
+Moral Agent," said Rosamond.</p>
+
+<p>"I don't like agents," said Miss Muffet, and
+then she was sorry that she had been so rude. "I
+mean I don't believe in being one till one is more
+grown up. And now that we are talking about<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>
+it, maybe you could tell me what the other line
+means,&mdash;</p>
+
+<div class='center'>
+'While on the stithy glows the steel.'"<br />
+</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 264px;">
+<img src="images/i030.png" width="264" height="350" alt="&quot;You dear little Rosamond&quot;" title="" />
+<span class="caption">&quot;You dear little Rosamond&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"A stithy," said Rosamond, "is a kind of blacksmith
+shop."</p>
+
+<p>"Now I know what every word means," said
+Miss Muffet, "but what was it all about?"<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"It was poetry."</p>
+
+<p>"I suppose that this evening you had to choose
+between the Symposium and the rest of the party
+where they don't have papers? And you are
+glad you chose the Symposium?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, I'm not," said Rosamond impulsively.</p>
+
+<p>"You dear little Rosamond!" cried Miss Muffet,
+throwing her arms about her. "The annealing's
+come off. Now let's go where there's music."</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<img src="images/i031.png" width="300" height="280" alt="Chapter VII" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">As</span> she returned from the Symposium, Miss Muffet
+was compelled to pass through some of the more
+remote parts of the palace, and whom should she
+see but the Caliph Haroun al Raschid, whom
+she recognized at once because he was in full disguise.
+He had no sooner come to the party than
+he had begun to poke around in search of adventures,
+as was his habit. At length he found two
+little girls engaged in a violent quarrel over a lamb.
+One was beating the other over the head with a
+crook, and accusing her of theft. This was just<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span>
+what the Caliph was after, and summoning the girls
+before him, he prepared to try the case. The
+younger girl, whose name was Mary, testified that
+the lamb had followed her to school. The elder
+girl, known as Bo-Peep, stated that on that same
+day she had lost her whole flock of sheep.</div>
+
+<p>"This is a strange coincidence," said Haroun al
+Raschid: "one girl loses her sheep and another has
+one in her possession. There is a great mystery
+here that must be looked into. Appear before me
+to-morrow, little girls, and tell me your stories."
+And then he added, with a terrible frown and an
+expressive glance at the executioner,&mdash;"And be
+sure, little girls, that your stories are interesting."</p>
+
+<p>Miss Muffet had hoped to have a long quiet talk
+with Haroun al Raschid and to ask him ever so
+many questions. But when she saw the executioner
+she changed her mind, and she felt, too, that
+the Caliph was more used to asking questions than
+to answering them.</p>
+
+<p>It was a great relief, therefore, to see a Dervish
+sitting on the floor, as if he had all the time in
+the world. He didn't seem in the least afraid
+of Haroun al Raschid; for Dervishes are great
+people in their way and have no need of being
+afraid of anybody.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 364px;">
+<img src="images/i032.png" width="364" height="500" alt="One was beating the other" title="" />
+<span class="caption">One was beating the other</span>
+</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Good-evening, Mr. Dervish, may I sit down by
+you and have a little talk about dervishry?"</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 325px;">
+<img src="images/i033.png" width="325" height="325" alt="A little talk about dervishry" title="" />
+<span class="caption">A little talk about dervishry</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>The Dervish said something she didn't quite
+understand about not talking shop on social occasions.
+"However," he added, "I will be glad to
+tell about my neighbors; that will be more polite."
+This suited Miss Muffet just as well.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"It's what I really want to hear about," she
+said. "Dervishry must be very hard work when
+you do it well, but it gives you a chance to meet
+all the interesting people. Let me see; you have
+a bowl, and you sit under a palm-tree by a well,
+and then the Calendars and Cadis and Muftis and
+Merchants and Mendicants and the ladies of Bagdad
+come and ask you questions, and when they
+put things in your bowl you answer them?"</p>
+
+<p>The Dervish said that that would be against the
+rule.</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, I remember. You look wise and tell them
+to come again to-morrow. The next day they come
+again, and you tell them which camel was blind
+in one eye and where their lovers are. That is very
+wonderful."</p>
+
+<p>The Dervish said that was the easiest part of it.
+The hardest thing was to look wiser than the
+Muftis.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 327px;"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75"></a>
+<img src="images/i034.png" width="327" height="500" alt="An expressive glance at the executioner" title="" />
+<span class="caption">An expressive glance at the executioner</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Very soon they were having a delightful talk
+about all the great personages Miss Muffet had
+always admired at a distance, but the Dervish had
+known them intimately and could tell all their
+weak points, which were not in the books. Indeed,
+Miss Muffet was surprised to find how many mistakes
+the books had in them, all because the persons<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>
+who made them hadn't taken the trouble to
+talk with the Dervish. Almost all the numbers
+were wrong.</p>
+
+<p>"There weren't forty thieves, there were only
+thirty-nine. I counted them myself."</p>
+
+<p>"But didn't everything else happen as I was
+told?" asked Miss Muffet; "and didn't it come
+out as it is in the book?"</p>
+
+<p>The Dervish admitted this, but said that that
+wasn't the important part: the important part was
+to count straight.</p>
+
+<p>A remarkable discovery was that all the famous
+people had brothers, and the brothers were always
+the ones who ought to have been famous, but
+every one forgot about them.</p>
+
+<p>"There is Aladdin, he's a greatly overrated
+man. I could tell you some curious things I
+learned about him. I know they are true, for
+they were told to me in confidence. People
+admire him because they think he is so lucky.
+Now if it had been his brother! He came over
+from China and used to sit by the day under my
+palm-tree talking about the chances he had just
+missed. They were truly marvelous. He missed
+more chances than Aladdin ever dreamed of, but
+nobody ever writes about him."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps they don't know about him," said
+Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"That's the injustice of it."</p>
+
+<p>"Speaking of brothers, did you ever find out
+why it is that the third one is always the wisest?
+I asked one of the North Country princes about
+it just now, and he bowed and said he thanked
+me for the compliment, but he was no philosopher.
+It doesn't matter where it is, in the Red Fairy
+Book or the Green Fairy Book or any color, the
+third is always the charm, and it seems very much
+the same way in your country. The oldest brother
+is always vain and selfish, and when he goes into
+the forest, always does the very thing he was told
+not to. And the second brother is selfish, and
+stupider, for he ought to know better when his
+brother doesn't come back and there are so many
+witches around. Then it comes to the third
+brother, and I never expect anything of him because
+he is so little and his stepmother has kept
+him back, but he turns out splendid. Did you
+ever meditate on that, Mr. Dervish?"</p>
+
+<p>The Dervish said that he had meditated on it
+for a great many years, and had at last come to
+the conclusion that it was a law of nature.</p>
+
+<p>"I am so glad to know that," said Miss Muffet,
+"for it has always troubled me."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 294px;">
+<img src="images/i035.png" width="294" height="500" alt="Aladdin&#39;s brother and the Dervish" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Aladdin&#39;s brother and the Dervish</span>
+</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>The Dervish remarked that when one was troubled
+by that kind of questions, it was always better
+to consult a wise man at once. It was not safe
+to let the case run on.</p>
+
+<p>"There's another thing I should like to ask
+about. Since I first read of the Three Royal
+Mendicants, I've always wondered what a Mendicant
+is. I know he must be very proud and great,
+but what does he do? The Mendicants are here
+this evening, but I don't like to ask them; it
+might seem rude."</p>
+
+<p>Then the Dervish explained about the Mendicants,
+and seemed so familiar with their way of life
+that Miss Muffet suspected that he might have
+been one himself. He explained too about the
+Calendars.</p>
+
+<p>The time passed so rapidly that Miss Muffet
+would have talked with him all the evening, had
+he not at last said that he feared he was monopolizing
+the attention of his hostess; besides, it was
+about time for him to do some more meditating.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img src="images/i036.png" width="400" height="410" alt="Chapter VIII" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">There</span> was a surprise at the party that delighted
+many of the young people. Old Mr. Esop passed
+through the hall, distributing handbills, announcing
+that, at immense expense, he had brought
+from Greece his unparalleled aggregation of Fables,
+which would now be open for exhibition in a grand
+pavilion just outside the south door of the palace.
+Out of compliment to Miss Muffet's party, admission<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>
+to the Fables would be free, though ten cents
+would be charged to those who remained to the
+Morals,&mdash;which, I am sorry to say, very few did.
+Some of the Fables were unusually terrifying, such
+as the Lions and the hungry Wolves, and Miss
+Muffet was glad to see what strong bars there
+were to their cages. But a number of the Fables,
+having been for a long time on exhibition, had
+become quite tame, and walked about conversing
+so amiably that the youngest children felt no
+apprehension.</div>
+
+<p>It was while Mr. Esop was engaged in attaching
+the Morals to the Fables that Miss Muffet caught
+sight for the first time of Uncle Remus and the
+Little Boy. Mr. Esop was pointing out the Hare
+asleep by the wayside while the Tortoise was coming
+gayly down the home stretch, and he was about
+to exhibit the Moral when Uncle Remus broke out
+with a hearty laugh.</p>
+
+<p>"You don't fool dis chile, does you, honey?
+Brer Rabbit he sometime play 'possum, but he
+sleep wid one eye open; he not let hisself be beat
+by a triflin' mud turtle. Jess when Brer Turtle
+thinks he's thar, Brer Rabbit'll give a jump, an'
+Brer Turtle'll find he's jess in time to be too late.
+Oh! I know Brer Rabbit's owdacious ways." But<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span>
+still the Hare slept while the Tortoise came deliberately
+over the line. Then Uncle Remus cried
+out with infinite scorn, "Come along, little boy;
+dat ain't worth shucks; dat ain't Brer Rabbit,
+nohow. I 'low dat rabbit's stuffed."</p>
+
+<p>"But, Uncle Remus," said Miss Muffet, "perhaps
+you will like the Fables better when you get acquainted
+with them. I'm sure they have always
+borne a good reputation. And now I should like
+to introduce you to Mr. Esop; it's such a pleasure
+to bring together people of the same tastes. Mr.
+Esop, allow me to introduce my friend, Mr. Remus.
+I am sure that you will feel a common interest in
+Zo&ouml;logy."</p>
+
+<p>Miss Muffet felt a little frightened at making
+such a formal speech, but she knew that she was
+showing the quality called "tact," which is something
+very useful in a hostess. To tell one's
+guests what they are expected to talk about is
+often a great convenience to them.</p>
+
+<p>But Mr. Esop, the moment he heard the name,
+drew back with an air that was quite chilling and
+businesslike.</p>
+
+<p>"Another of those early Romans out of a job!
+He has just discovered that he is a Fable and is
+looking for a situation." Then turning to Uncle<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>
+Remus he said, "I'm very particular about my
+Fables, and I want everything straight and plain
+so that parents may
+have no hesitation in
+bringing their children.
+I don't like to
+mix up Myths with my
+Fables, for the chances
+are that the Mythical
+Personage, instead of
+having a Moral, may
+turn out to be only a
+Sign of the Zodiac.
+This is always confusing
+to the Public. I
+suppose, Mr. Remus,
+that you have brought
+Mr. Romulus with you.
+In the case of twins, I
+give no consideration,
+if I'm offered only a
+broken lot. I must
+have the full set, Mr.
+Remus."</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 200px;">
+<img src="images/i037.png" width="200" height="425" alt="&quot;I must have the full set&quot;" title="" />
+<span class="caption">&quot;I must have the full set&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Uncle Remus's feelings would have been much
+hurt if he had not at that moment caught sight<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span>
+of Mowgli accompanied by Baloo and Bagheera.
+Just how it happened Miss Muffet could never find
+out, but before she had time to introduce them
+they had become fast friends, and Uncle Remus
+only chuckled when she asked him if she might
+have the pleasure of making them acquainted.</p>
+
+<p>"Nebber you mind 'bout us, we mus' hab met
+befo'. I disremember whar, but it mus' hab been
+somewhar down de big road."</p>
+
+<p>And the old man laughed at the thought that
+there ever was a time when he didn't know Mowgli.</p>
+
+<p>At the mention of the big road Mowgli began to
+sing the "Road Song of the Bandar-log." It was
+a very strange song, and not at all like those that
+her music teacher taught her, but for all that Miss
+Muffet felt that it was just the kind of a song she
+would sing if she were a Bandar-log.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle Remus was in an ecstasy, and the Little
+Boy shouted for joy. Every one praised it except
+Sandford and Merton, who said that it didn't give
+any useful information except that monkeys had
+tails, a fact which was already well known, being
+mentioned in all the Natural History books. For
+their part, when it came to poetry they preferred some
+fine passages in Dr. Young's "Night Thoughts."</p>
+
+<p>A great many boys and girls who were on their<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>
+way to the pavilion had remained outside listening
+to a pleasant gentleman who was telling them
+anecdotes about the Wild Animals he had known.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 175px;">
+<img src="images/i038.png" width="175" height="172" alt="Telling anecdotes" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Telling anecdotes</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>This troubled Mr. Esop, who, though an excellent
+man, was inclined
+to be jealous. Miss
+Muffet went out to remind
+the children of
+the Morals, but in a
+little while she became
+as interested as the rest
+of them.</p>
+
+<p>"His way of talking
+is different from Mr.
+Esop's, but I am not
+sure but he may be right. At any rate, I am glad
+to hear some one who speaks respectfully about animals,
+and who doesn't say anything behind their
+backs that he wouldn't say to their faces. He
+always remembers that they are persons and have
+feelings. Then when they do things, he doesn't
+blame them or call them bad names. That's one
+thing I don't like about Mr. Esop. He isn't
+quite fair, and he is always accusing them of
+Folly."</p>
+
+<p>"It's remarkable how small the world is, after<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>
+all," said the pleasant gentleman, when more than
+a score of persons told him that the Wild Animals
+he had known were among their most intimate
+acquaintances, and that they had met them under
+a great many different circumstances. Then followed
+a good deal of gossip about their family life
+and the way they got their living. Miss Muffet
+was glad to hear that they were all so kind to their
+children, but the way they got their living troubled
+her. She remembered what the spider said, that
+"business is business," but that didn't make it
+seem any more kind.</p>
+
+<p>"It's the Law of the Jungle," said Mowgli; and
+then he recited the law word for word just as he
+had learned it.</p>
+
+<p>"Can't they change it?" asked Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"The Jungle people can't. It's too strong for
+them."</p>
+
+<p>From this the conversation drifted to hunting
+for sport. The pleasant gentleman who knew so
+many animals personally didn't like it. The Boy
+Hunters, who had spent a great deal of time in the
+woods, didn't agree with him. They said that the
+proper way to become acquainted with animals was
+to carry a gun. It showed that you entered into
+the spirit of the thing. They fancied that it was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span>
+good for wild animals to be hunted; in fact, that
+was what kept them wild.</p>
+
+<p>Miss Muffet didn't think that was a very
+good reason, though it sounded logical; and she
+asked several of the Animals what they thought
+about it.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 250px;">
+<img src="images/i039.png" width="250" height="191" alt="&quot;It all depends on grammar&quot;" title="" />
+<span class="caption">&quot;It all depends on grammar&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>A Duck, a Dodo, a Lory, and an Eaglet, who had
+come with Alice from Wonderland, were the nearest,
+and she asked them first, but they refused to
+answer on the ground that they never had thoughts
+so late in the
+evening. The
+Lory said that
+he had one at
+home, but he
+had forgotten to
+bring it.</p>
+
+<p>"You can't
+make anything
+out of these
+Wonderland creatures," said Miss Muffet. "I can't
+really feel that they are animals I have known,
+though of course I know their names."</p>
+
+<p>When Bagheera was asked his opinion, he only
+growled that it was all in the day's work. But wise
+old Baloo answered:<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span>&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"It all depends on grammar."</p>
+
+<p>This made every one look very solemn, for they
+realized now that it was a serious matter.</p>
+
+<p>"First Person, Singular, I hunt. Second Person,
+Thou huntest. Third Person, He or She hunts. So
+long as you confine it to the First Person, it's proper
+and right. When you go beyond that, it's carrying
+it too far. When you get to the Second Person,
+that's where the danger comes in."</p>
+
+<p>This was such sound sense that they all agreed
+to it, though Mr. Wolf declared that the First Person,
+Plural, seemed to him to be more sociable.</p>
+
+<p>"Does it make any difference about the moods
+and tenses?" asked Miss Muffet.</p>
+
+<p>"Passive&mdash;First Person, Singular, I am hunted."</p>
+
+<p>There was a general cry of horror. "What
+a dreadful point of view!" said the Dodo; "it
+makes me shiver to think about it."</p>
+
+<p>Even the wildest animals agreed that it was atrocious.
+What was most remarkable was that the
+Boy Hunters, who had been on the Orinoco and the
+Congo and all the most dangerous places, admitted
+that they had the same feelings.</p>
+
+<p>"There's a limit beyond which hunting is not
+true sport. It should not be allowed to go as far as
+the First Person, Singular, in the Passive."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>"I'm so glad that you agree about it," said
+Miss Muffet. "I knew you would when you came
+to understand one another. That's the great
+good of being at parties; it makes us feel that
+we are all more alike than we thought."</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 375px;">
+<img src="images/i040.png" width="375" height="324" alt="Chapter IX" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">When</span> Miss Muffet began to be a little tired, Mr.
+Spider asked her to take a stroll with him into the
+open air. So he led her through a low archway
+which brought them at last into the Child's Garden
+of Verses.</div>
+
+<p>"We had to make the entrance quite small," he
+said apologetically, "to keep out the big boys.
+They run over everything, and we should have to
+put up those horrid signs,'Keep off the Verses.'"</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 342px;"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93"></a>
+<img src="images/i041.png" width="342" height="500" alt="Wynken, Blynken, and Nod" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Wynken, Blynken, and Nod</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"I am so glad that you have brought me into
+the garden where I can see the verses growing.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>
+Mamma told me that people make verses just as
+they make the flowers on her bonnet. But I like
+the kind that grow, don't you, Mr. Spider?"</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Spider said that he was no judge of poetry,
+but he was inclined to be of her opinion; which
+made Miss Muffet very happy, for she had not been
+used to having people agree with her,&mdash;at least
+before she had a party.</p>
+
+<p>It was very pleasant in the garden, for the
+noisier children had not found it out. It was surprising
+how many things were in it. There was a
+little river with golden sand; and the tiniest mountain,
+which looked as high as the sky when you
+got the right point of view; and there were ships
+and pirates and a beautiful cow. When you looked
+in the right direction, you could see the big world
+stretching away much further than the eye could
+reach.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 319px;"><a name="prudent" id="prudent"></a>
+<img src="images/i042.png" width="319" height="450" alt="He was a little prudent" title="" />
+<span class="caption">He was a little prudent</span>
+</div>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 338px;"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97"></a>
+<img src="images/i043.png" width="338" height="500" alt="The Rockaby Lady saying good-night" title="" />
+<span class="caption">The Rockaby Lady saying good-night</span>
+</div>
+<p>Miss Muffet watched a wide-eyed little boy who
+was wandering about and having such an adventurous
+time as never was. Everything was so great
+and strange, yet he wasn't a bit afraid, only now
+and then when he turned a corner he was a little
+prudent, as any traveler would be who had come
+to the end of the world and was not sure that the
+next step might not take him off the edge. But it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span>
+never did, for no matter how far he went, there
+was always a next step for him, as if the good
+Scotch gardener who had laid out the paths had
+known that such a great traveler was coming. As<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span>
+she left the garden she heard him singing to himself
+his glad little song,&mdash;</p>
+
+
+<div class='poem'>
+"The world is so full of a number of things,<br />
+<span style="margin-left: 0.5em;">I think we should all be as happy as Kings."</span><br />
+</div>
+
+<p>The idea of the little song was exactly the same
+that Miss Muffet had had in her head for a long
+time, though she hadn't been able to express it so
+well. Even after she came back to the company,
+she kept repeating the words to herself.</p>
+
+<p>"I think the nicest part about being happy,"
+she confided to the spider, "is that it keeps you
+from being lonesome, and it makes you like such a
+number of things."</p>
+
+<p>"And such a number of people," added Mr.
+Spider.</p>
+
+<p>"Yes; all the different kinds. It's not because
+they are so very pretty. You like the queer ones
+too, and you are glad that the world's full of
+them. There's Rumpelstiltzkin, he's not at all
+like anybody else, and his features aren't regular,
+but I'm glad he came to the party. He's so interesting."</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Spider was sure that if he could get every
+one to feel that way, it would make life easier for
+the members of his own family. He agreed that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>
+the way to keep people from being cruel was to
+make them happy in their own minds.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 326px;">
+<img src="images/i044.png" width="326" height="475" alt="Flew away .&nbsp;.&nbsp;. into the night" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Flew away .&nbsp;.&nbsp;. into the night</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"And it's such an easy way," said Miss Muffet,
+"I wonder that nobody has thought of it before."<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 348px;">
+<img src="images/i045.png" width="348" height="500" alt="Into his overcoat pocket" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Into his overcoat pocket</span>
+</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 282px;">
+<img src="images/i046.png" width="282" height="450" alt="Red Riding-Hood&#39;s Grandmother began to dance" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Red Riding-Hood&#39;s Grandmother began to dance</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>There is not time to tell of all that happened at
+the party. As to refreshments, the Old Woman
+who lived on victuals and drink declared that
+victuals and drink were nothing to the good things
+which Miss Muffet had provided. Before the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span>
+evening was over the Pied Piper played so merrily
+that even Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began
+to dance. The Twelve Dancing Princesses said
+that it was the first time that they had been able to
+dance as much as they liked. Before this they had
+had to stop when they danced the soles off their
+shoes; but this evening the spider had thoughtfully
+provided each one with several pairs.</p>
+
+<p>And how did it end? All of a sudden, lights
+out, cobweb broken, and Miss Muffet left alone
+with her curds and whey? Not at all. It ended
+as all good parties end. The Rockaby Lady from
+Hushaby Street suggested that it was getting late.
+Then one by one the guests came to Little Miss
+Muffet and told her what a good time they had had,
+and how glad they were that Christmas comes once
+every year. Wynken, Blynken, and Nod sailed
+away in a wooden shoe. They were such dear
+little fellows that Miss Muffet was sorry that she
+hadn't noticed them till they came to say good-by.
+Mr. Esop put out the lights in his pavilion;
+and the Arabians mounted their camels and rode
+slowly toward Bagdad, first making the Sultana
+promise to tell them a story that would last through
+the whole Arabian Night. The Wonderlanders
+put on their queer bonnets and coats, all carefully<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>
+wrong side out; and the Man Friday hoisted his
+umbrella to keep the dew off Robinson Crusoe;
+and Doctor Gulliver put all the Lilliputians he
+could catch into his overcoat pocket; and Mother
+Goose flew away with all her family into the night.
+The little people from the North were the last to
+get away, for it took them a long time to get on
+their overshoes and fur coats and mufflers, but at
+last they too had gone.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
+<img src="images/i047.png" width="350" height="312" alt="A long time to get on their overshoes" title="" />
+<span class="caption">A long time to get on their overshoes</span>
+</div><p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 336px;">
+<img src="images/i048.png" width="336" height="400" alt="Closed her eyes" title="" />
+<span class="caption">Closed her eyes</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"I see by the moonlight
+that it's almost midnight,"
+said the spider. "It's time
+for little girls to go to sleep."</p>
+
+<p>Little Miss Muffet closed her eyes very tightly
+indeed, but she didn't close her ears, so she heard
+the first tinkle of sleigh-bells far away, and she
+knew that Santa Claus was coming.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
+<img src="images/i049.png" width="400" height="289" alt="The Spider" title="" />
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Muffet's Christmas Party, by 
+Samuel McChord Crothers
+
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+</pre>
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+</body>
+</html>
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@@ -0,0 +1,1977 @@
+Project Gutenberg's Miss Muffet's Christmas Party, by Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Miss Muffet's Christmas Party
+
+Author: Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+Illustrator: Olive M. Long
+
+Release Date: April 15, 2010 [EBook #31997]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Emmy and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Cover]
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+By Samuel M. Crothers
+
+          MEDITATIONS ON VOTES FOR WOMEN.
+          HUMANLY SPEAKING.
+          AMONG FRIENDS.
+          BY THE CHRISTMAS FIRE.
+          THE PARDONER'S WALLET.
+          THE ENDLESS LIFE.
+          THE GENTLE READER.
+          OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES: THE AUTOCRAT AND HIS FELLOW
+              BOARDERS. With Portrait.
+          MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY. Illustrated.
+
+
+          HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
+          BOSTON AND NEW YORK
+
+
+
+
+MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY
+
+[Illustration: _A visitor came_ (page 4)]
+
+
+
+
+MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY
+
+BY
+
+SAMUEL McCHORD CROTHERS
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS BY OLIVE M. LONG
+
+          BOSTON AND NEW YORK
+          HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY
+          The Riverside Press Cambridge
+
+
+
+
+          COPYRIGHT 1902 BY SAMUEL McCHORD CROTHERS
+          ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
+
+          _Published November, 1902_
+
+
+
+
+          TO MARGERY
+          BECAUSE, AMONG OTHER THINGS,
+          WE LIKE THE SAME PEOPLE
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+                                                                    PAGE
+
+  _A visitor came_ (_page 4_)                               Frontispiece
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                    1
+  _Mrs. Muffet had read this in a book_                                2
+  _To meditate on the passage of time_                                 3
+  _The kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on_                          4
+  _Fairly jumped off her tuffet_                                       6
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                    8
+  _They sat down_                                                      9
+  _Every town crier in England_                                       13
+  _The blighted being_                                                15
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   18
+  _Miss Muffet closed her eyes_                                       19
+  _She could catch glimpses of travelers_                             20
+  _Tom Sawyer trying to "hitch on" behind_                            21
+  _Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland_    23
+  "_This is the main caravan road to Bagdad_"                         25
+  _Elves_                                                             28
+  _The woods were full of merry little people_                        29
+  _An old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked_              31
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   32
+  _Introduced the Orientals to the North Country people_              33
+  _Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp_                          37
+  "_Listening . . . is hard on the eyes_"                             39
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   44
+  _The shyest persons in the room_                                    45
+  _Scampering off into the dark_                                      47
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   54
+  "_I am sorry to be so late_"                                        55
+  _Hal cut his string_                                                63
+  "_I don't think I ever knew two persons more different_"            65
+  "_You dear little Rosamond_"                                        67
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   69
+  _One was beating the other_                                         71
+  _A little talk about dervishry_                                     73
+  _An expressive glance at the executioner_                           75
+  _Aladdin's brother and the Dervish_                                 79
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   82
+  "_I must have the full set_"                                        85
+  _Telling anecdotes_                                                 87
+  "_It all depends on grammar_"                                       89
+  _Chapter Heading_                                                   92
+  _Wynken, Blynken, and Nod_                                          93
+  _He was a little prudent_                                           96
+  _The Rockaby Lady saying good-night_                                97
+  _Flew away . . . into the night_                                   100
+  _Into his overcoat pocket_                                         101
+  _Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began to dance_                     103
+  _A long time to get on their overshoes_                            105
+  _Closed her eyes_                                                  106
+  _Tail Piece_                                                       107
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter I]
+
+
+'Twas the night before Christmas, and it was very quiet in Mrs. Muffet's
+house,--altogether too quiet, thought little Miss Muffet, as she sat
+trying to eat her curds and whey. For Mrs. Muffet was a very severe
+mother and had her own ideas about bringing up children,--and so had Mr.
+Muffet, or rather he had the same ideas, only warmed over. One of these
+was on the necessity of care in the diet of growing children. "First,"
+said Mrs. Muffet, "we must find out what the children don't like, and
+then we must make them eat plenty of it; next to breaking their wills,
+there is nothing so necessary as breaking their appetites." Mrs. Muffet
+had read this in a book, and so she knew it must be true; and Mr. Muffet
+had heard Mrs. Muffet say it so many times that he knew it was true.
+
+[Illustration: _Mrs. Muffet had read this in a book_]
+
+So every morning little Miss Muffet had three courses: first, curds and
+whey; second, whey and curds; third, curdled whey. She had the same
+things for the other meals, but the order was changed about. An
+experienced housekeeper tells me that the third course is impossible to
+prepare, as whey cannot be curdled. All I have to say is that this
+housekeeper had not known Mrs. Muffet. Mrs. Muffet could curdle
+anything. But the worst days of the year for little Miss Muffet were the
+holidays, for they were occasions that had to be improved. Now for a
+little girl to improve an occasion is about the hardest work she can do,
+especially when she doesn't know how. If she had been left to herself,
+Miss Muffet wouldn't have improved them at all, but would have left them
+in their natural state.
+
+[Illustration: _To meditate on the passage of time_]
+
+"Christmas," said Mrs. Muffet in her most economical tone, "comes but
+once a year, so we must make it go as far as possible. The best way for
+a child to do that is to sit and meditate. You've no idea how long a
+holiday seems till you sit still and think about it. Count sixty, that
+will be just one minute, and another, and another, and then
+another--sixty times one, and then sixty times that, and then
+twenty-four times that makes--well--it makes--the exact number doesn't
+matter much," said Mrs. Muffet, who wasn't quick at mental arithmetic,
+"but you'll see that there are quite a considerable number of seconds in
+Christmas Day--quite enough for any growing child." So at Christmas time
+Mrs. Muffet would go out to visit the neighbors, leaving the little girl
+seated on a very uncomfortable tuffet, to meditate on the passage of
+time.
+
+[Illustration: _The kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on_]
+
+Perhaps some of you would like to know what a tuffet is. I have thought
+of that myself, and have taken the trouble to ask several learned
+persons. They assure me that the most complete and satisfactory
+definition is,--a tuffet is the kind of thing that Miss Muffet sat on.
+With this explanation I shall go on with my story. As she sat on her
+tuffet counting up the seconds of Christmas Eve, and had already reached
+the sum of two thousand one hundred and seven, a strange thing happened.
+A visitor came and sat down beside her. You guess who he was? Yes--an
+elderly, benevolent spider. He was short-sighted and wore green
+spectacles, and had evidently a little rheumatism in his legs, but as he
+had eight of them, he managed to get along very well.
+
+Now the way you may have heard the story is that when the kind old
+spider sat down beside her, it frightened Miss Muffet away. That story
+must be true because I myself have seen it in print, but it happened at
+another time, when Miss Muffet was very little indeed.
+
+On the Christmas Eve I am telling about, she had become a very sensible
+little girl, and knew all about spiders, so instead of running away, she
+made room for him on the tuffet and said, "I am very glad to see you,
+Mr. Spider." Mr. Spider bowed and looked at her in a kindly way through
+his spectacles, but said nothing.
+
+"I hope your family are all well; I mean the family Arachnida,
+sub-order, I forget the name. We've enjoyed dissecting those we could
+get; and you deserve a great deal of credit for the curious way in which
+you are put together, with your funny thorax and everything."
+
+"Let's change the subject, Miss," said the spider, moving toward the
+further side of the tuffet. "This is Christmas Eve."
+
+[Illustration: _Fairly jumped off her tuffet_]
+
+"Yes," answered Miss Muffet wearily. "Sixty seconds make a minute; sixty
+minutes make an hour. Even Christmas Eve will come to an end some time;
+but what's the good? For then Christmas will come, and that will _never_
+get through."
+
+"What do you say to a party?"
+
+Miss Muffet fairly jumped off her tuffet, for she had never had a party
+in her life. "Who will invite the people?"
+
+"I will," said the spider.
+
+"But do you think any one will come if _you_ invite them?"
+
+"Why not?"
+
+"Oh! I was just thinking; some people are such 'fraid-cats; and then,
+you know, once, one of your family invited the fly to walk into his
+parlor. I don't believe the story one bit, but then, you know, Mr.
+Spider, it caused talk."
+
+Mr. Spider positively blushed green. "If you have no objection, let's
+change the subject again. Business is business; as for flies, there is a
+difference of opinion about them, and we can't all live on curds and
+whey, Miss Muffet. But this is to be your party, and we should not
+invite flies but folks. How would you like to have a literary party, and
+invite all the people you've read about?"
+
+"How delightful!" cried Miss Muffet gleefully. "What a dear old spider
+you are!"
+
+"Let's write the invitations immediately," said Mr. Spider, taking out
+of his pocket a ream of the most delicate cobweb paper.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter II]
+
+
+They sat down with their heads very close together, and such a number of
+letters you never saw as Miss Muffet and the spider wrote. Some of them
+were very informal, like those beginning "Dear Little Bo-Peep" and "Dear
+Red Riding-Hood." They said, "Won't you come to a party at my house?
+We're going to have games." Others were very formal like that addressed
+to
+
+          The Reverend Swiss Robinson and Family,
+                            Tent House,
+                                     Desert Island,
+
+stating that "Miss Muffet requests the pleasure of your company," etc.
+Then there were letters addressed to Wonderland and Back of the North
+Wind, and to Lilliput and the Land where the Jumblies Live, and to all
+sorts of places which are to be found only on the best maps, and are not
+in the school geographies at all.
+
+Mr. Spider was very careful and businesslike, and insisted that Miss
+Muffet should always put down the exact address, for it would never do
+to have any of the letters go to the dead-letter office. Sometimes,
+however, they were puzzled to find the right direction.
+
+[Illustration: _They sat down_]
+
+"Shall I address this letter to Norwich or the Moon?" asked Miss Muffet,
+handing him an envelope.
+
+"Ah!" said the spider, "this is a difficult case; it's hard to reach
+these traveling men. Here is a gentleman residing in the Moon, who
+suddenly sets out for Norwich without leaving his address. Better direct
+the letter to 'Norwich, General Delivery,' and write in the upper left
+hand corner, 'If not called for in five minutes, forward to the Moon.'"
+
+"And I suppose that Gloucester is Dr. Foster's address? That is where I
+last heard of him."
+
+"No; I'm afraid we shall have to give the doctor up. He is a very
+peculiar man and took a prejudice against the town, and vowed he would
+never go that way again."
+
+"Oh, yes, I remember," said Miss Muffet; "it was because he didn't like
+the way they kept the roads."
+
+It was a difficult matter to get the correct titles for all the princes
+and princesses of Fairyland, and to learn the names of all the crowned
+heads. Of course, where their names were in the Court Directory it was
+easy enough, for the spider had a huge volume at his elbow; but he said
+that it was far from complete. All the giant-killers and the young men
+who married the kings' daughters were in it, but the kings themselves
+were often forgotten.
+
+"'A certain king had three daughters,'" said Miss Muffet; "that's all
+that I know about him, but he ought to be invited. The postman will want
+to know which 'Certain King' it is, and what he's king of."
+
+"The best way to do," said the spider, "would be to address a hundred
+letters, each to 'A Certain King,' asking His Majesty to honor your
+party with his presence, and to bring with him a 'Certain Queen.' Then
+whenever the messenger comes across a king without any particular name
+he can give him an invitation. If you want to be more definite, you may
+address each letter to 'A Certain Kingdom.'"
+
+"But he has usually given away half of his kingdom."
+
+"That's true," said the spider; "you had better address it to 'The Other
+Half.'"
+
+Miss Muffet was troubled about the persons who had only lately risen in
+life.
+
+"There is Dumbling, who went out to chop wood, and the dwarf gave him a
+golden goose that made everything stick to it. The king's daughter in
+that certain kingdom had been so serious that the king had offered her
+to any one who would make her laugh; and when she saw Dumbling with the
+goose under his arm and the maids and the parson and all the rest
+following after, she laughed outright. She didn't mean to, but she
+couldn't help it. And now Dumbling is a prince, and is living happily
+ever afterward. I wonder if that makes any difference in his feelings,
+or if he likes to be called Dumbling."
+
+The spider said that it all depended on his wife. With such a serious
+person as she had been one must be careful about etiquette. Because she
+had laughed once was no sign that she would do it again.
+
+"Shall you invite any plain boys and girls who live in the Every Day
+Country?" asked the spider.
+
+This was a hard question, for the Muffets were an old family who had
+come across with Mother Goose, and at this moment Every Day Country
+seemed a long way off and just a bit uninteresting. But then Miss Muffet
+remembered how many kind friends she had found there, and answered,--
+
+"Oh, certainly, we must send invitations to the Every Day Country, for
+some of the folks there are just as good as the Dreamland people, only
+of course they haven't had the same advantages."
+
+[Illustration: _Every town crier in England_]
+
+So letters were sent to Prudy and Dotty Dimple and the Bodley Family,
+and to the Little Men and Little Women and Lord Fauntleroy and the rest.
+A special letter was written to the little Ruggleses, and to Tiny Tim
+and all the Cratchetts, for Miss Muffet knew that they were always ready
+to have a good time on Christmas. A message was sent to every town crier
+in England, asking him to make immediate proclamation in the streets
+that if any small boy who was a Prince and a Pauper would make himself
+known, he would hear something greatly to his advantage, for he was
+invited to Miss Muffet's Party.
+
+The longest letter was that sent to Agamemnon Peterkin. Miss Muffet
+wrote it very carefully, underscoring all the important parts, and
+adding a map showing the way from the Peterkins' house to the palace.
+She asked him to bring all the family, including the little boys.
+
+"I don't see how he can make a mistake," she said, "but he probably
+will. They are all so ingenious. They find out how to make mistakes that
+other folks would never think of."
+
+"What about Mr. Henty's boys?" said the spider; "there are so many of
+them."
+
+"There seem to be a great many of them," said Miss Muffet, "but I've
+sometimes thought that there may be only two, only they live in
+different centuries and go to different wars. Boys can do that, can't
+they, Mr. Spider, if they are very brave?"
+
+The spider said he thought they could without changing their characters,
+but of course they would have to change their names.
+
+So an invitation was sent to Ronald Leslie, alias Wulf, Roger, Lionel,
+Stanley, etc., On The Firing Line, Near Carthage, Quebec, Crecy,
+Waterloo, Khartoum, or wherever the Enemy may be found in force. Forward
+by a swift messenger, trusty and true.
+
+"I shouldn't wonder if they might be a little late, for they may be
+taken prisoner, and it always takes them some time to escape."
+
+"Shall you invite any bad boys?" asked the spider.
+
+[Illustration: The blighted being.]
+
+"No," answered Miss Muffet severely, "not as a rule; but I think we
+shall ask Mr. Aldrich's Bad Boy, for he is a blighted being. I think
+it's our duty to have him,--and then it would be such fun. And I suppose
+we ought to invite Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer to keep him company."
+
+"Of course you will invite all the good boys?"
+
+"Of course we shall invite them, as a rule. But the good boys in the
+books are almost too good sometimes; don't you think so, Mr. Spider? I
+mean almost too good to be true. But that reminds me; I suppose we
+should invite Rollo?"
+
+"Yes," said the spider, "we certainly must invite Rollo; he's a worthy
+lad, and of an inquiring mind."
+
+"Oh dear!" said Miss Muffet, tearing up the letter she had just written,
+"he's so intelligent. I'll have to write very correctly or he'll
+criticise the spelling; and then if I invite Rollo, I shall have to
+invite Jonas, too."
+
+"Certainly," said the spider, "we must invite Jonas, and we must arrange
+some moral amusement. Suppose in your invitation you leave out the word
+'party' and ask him to attend a 'serious symposium.' How would this
+do?--'Respected Sir, You are earnestly requested to attend a serious
+symposium at Miss Muffet's, to meet the Rev. Swiss Robinson and other
+persons interested in the education of youth. The Little Old Woman who
+lived in a Shoe will preside. There will be a number of papers, to be
+followed by a discussion.'"
+
+"How good that is! Jonas would so love a discussion," said Miss Muffet.
+
+"Shall we invite any giants?"
+
+"No; I don't want to be exclusive, but we must draw the line somewhere.
+Let's draw it at giants."
+
+"Very well," said the spider, throwing into the waste-basket the letter
+he had just addressed to His Majesty the King of the Brobdingnags.
+
+At last the invitations were all written, and the kind old spider said,
+"Now lie down, my dear, on the tuffet and close your eyes, and I will
+make all the preparations and wake you in time for the party."
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter III]
+
+
+Miss Muffet closed her eyes, and had already begun to dream of curds and
+whey, when all at once she was awakened and found herself in a most
+wonderful palace. The walls and floors were made of the sheerest,
+filmiest spider's-web, woven into a thousand delicate patterns. A soft
+light shone through the tapestries, and the dewdrops on the roof
+sparkled like diamonds. The music that floated in through the open
+windows was not so much a sound as a part of the atmosphere. She was not
+sure whether she heard it or only breathed it in. Everything was so
+shimmering and so dainty that Miss Muffet might have thought that she
+was dreaming had it not been for the spider, who looked so comical in
+his dress-suit that she laughed outright. The moment she laughed, Miss
+Muffet knew that everything was real.
+
+[Illustration: _Miss Muffet closed her eyes_]
+
+[Illustration: _She could catch glimpses of travelers_]
+
+[Illustration: _Tom Sawyer trying to "hitch on" behind_]
+
+For a minute she did not dare to trust herself on the floor, but when
+she took a step she had the most delightful experience of walking on
+air. She went to one of the great windows. If the palace had been
+wonderful, how much more wonderful was the view from it. Far as the eye
+could reach were the shining paths of spider's-web, each one leading
+over hill and dale to the palace door. Now the paths were on the ground,
+now with bridges from grass blade to grass blade, sometimes from tree to
+tree; and far off she could see them spanning deep valleys among the
+hills. By and by she could catch glimpses of travelers on the road, some
+in coaches, some on foot, some on horseback, coming by twos and dozens
+and scores.
+
+"They're coming to the party," said the spider.
+
+[Illustration: _Alice with all the strange friends she had found in
+Wonderland_]
+
+Sure enough, there was Cinderella in her coach with the Prince sitting
+by her side, and Tom Sawyer trying to "hitch on" behind. And there was
+Alice with all the strange friends she had found in Wonderland; and a
+very queer set they were, for Wonderland is rather out of the world, and
+the fashions of the Wonderlanders were peculiar, and not at all like
+anything Miss Muffet had ever seen before. And then how they did act! It
+was a great relief to see, after the March Hare and the Cheshire Cat and
+the Duchess, who were skipping along in the most extraordinary manner,
+Mr. Robinson Crusoe. "He looks so solid and respectable," said Miss
+Muffet, "and so English, you know."
+
+"Come to the east window," said the spider.
+
+Miss Muffet went with him and looked out on a great level road
+stretching toward the sunrise. Just where it seemed to touch the sky she
+could see a grove of palm-trees, and she thought she could see, beyond,
+the golden domes and minarets of a city. But she was not quite sure of
+this, for it might have been the clouds. A faint perfume as of rare
+spices floated to her as the wind sprang up.
+
+"This," said the spider, "is the main caravan road to Bagdad." A golden
+dust seemed to rise in the distance among the palms. At last Miss Muffet
+could see a caravan.
+
+"Take this glass," said the spider, handing her an opera-glass. Then
+Miss Muffet could see very well. There were the Sultan and the Caliph
+and the Grand Vizier, and the silk merchants and the calenders, and the
+princesses of every degree,--all on camels most wonderful to behold.
+
+[Illustration: "_This is the main caravan road to Bagdad_"]
+
+"Do you see the Forty Thieves?" asked the spider uneasily. "If you do,
+we'd better count the spoons."
+
+Then Miss Muffet went to the north window, and such a sight as she saw
+there! There was frost on all the roads, and snow on the far mountains,
+and the great pine forest on that side came almost to the palace doors.
+And such pine-trees as they were! Each one looked like a great Christmas
+tree. The woods were full of merry little people, with such frosty
+twinkles in their eyes that it did one good to look at them. They talked
+Swedish and German and Icelandic and all sorts of queer languages, but
+somehow they laughed so naturally, and were so simple and hearty, that
+Miss Muffet understood every word. There were hosts of brownies and
+elves and fairies, and intelligent white bears, and one or two reformed
+wolves, and an old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked, and
+the Marsh King and his daughters, and an old gentleman who looked so
+much like Santa Claus that Miss Muffet was sure that he must be his
+brother. Indeed, she could not help noticing that a great many of these
+North Country folks bore a strong family resemblance to Santa
+Claus,--but perhaps it was only the way they wore their beards. When she
+saw them all, she was sorry that she had not invited Santa Claus
+himself. She hadn't asked him, because, as she told Mr. Spider, it was
+Christmas Eve, and it might seem suggestive. But the truth of the matter
+was, as I suspect, that she thought he would probably drop in of his own
+accord, some time in the course of the evening.
+
+[Illustration: _Elves_]
+
+[Illustration: _The woods were full of merry little people_]
+
+[Illustration: _An old witch who was not nearly so bad as she looked_]
+
+As the brisk little people from the North came up the palace steps, Miss
+Muffet was sure that Hans Christian Andersen must have had a party once,
+or how could he have described them so well? "Indeed," she said, "if I
+didn't know what day of the month and what year it is, I should almost
+think that this is 'Once upon a Time.'"
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter IV]
+
+
+When the guests began to come in, Miss Muffet was all in a flurry for
+fear she should not do her duty as a hostess; but she needn't have
+worried a bit, for they were so much interested in themselves that they
+paid very little attention to her. Then she had the assistance of two
+widely traveled storks, who, having their summer residences in Norway
+and spending their winters in Bagdad, had a great number of
+acquaintances, and introduced the Orientals to the North Country people.
+It was delightful to see how quickly they all became acquainted. Little
+Dutch Gretchen in her wooden shoes was not at all like the Persian
+Princess whom she now met for the first time, but they were soon warm
+friends though they had moved in such different society. At first Miss
+Muffet was afraid that the wooden shoes might spoil the spider's-web
+floor; but there was no real danger of this, for the spider, knowing
+that there would be a very great crowd, had made everything very strong.
+
+[Illustration: _Introduced the Orientals to the North Country people_]
+
+There was a little man in a huge bearskin coat who came from Back of the
+North Wind. At first he was shy and awkward, but it was beautiful to see
+how soon he was put at ease when Aladdin came up and explained to him
+the virtues of his wonderful lamp. The little man said that such a lamp
+must be very useful, but when it came to illuminating power it was
+nothing to what he had at home, for he had an Aurora Borealis in every
+room. Then the little man chuckled to himself, for he wanted every one
+to know that the Back of the North Wind Country was not so uncivilized
+as people supposed.
+
+In a corner she found a delightful group of seafaring folks. Dr. Lemuel
+Gulliver was telling the story of one of his voyages. He was such a
+matter-of-fact person, and so accurate about the latitude and longitude,
+that Miss Muffet had the greatest confidence in him, and felt that,
+though he might be mistaken in regard to the main points, all the
+details happened exactly as he said. His story reminded Sindbad the
+Sailor of something that had happened to him. He told his story in a
+charming oriental way, but without a touch of exaggeration.
+
+"That would have spoiled it," said Miss Muffet to Baron Munchausen, who
+was standing by. "Don't you like simplicity, Baron?"
+
+The Baron bowed in a courtly, old-fashioned way, and said that he was
+inordinately fond of it. Miss Muffet heard a rippling, liquid sound
+which she at first mistook for laughter, but the Baron assured her that
+it was only the frozen truth beginning to thaw. This reminded him of a
+little incident which was wonderful to hear. Everybody was astonished
+except the Three Wise Men of Gotham. They remarked that if they were at
+liberty to tell their adventures, as seafaring men, the stories that had
+been told would seem quite tame; but they didn't feel at liberty, and
+only looked at each other so wisely that Miss Muffet wondered whether
+any persons could really be as wise as they looked.
+
+[Illustration: _Aladdin explains the virtues of his lamp_]
+
+A sturdy, round-faced man stood just behind the group, but took no part
+in the conversation. Whenever Sindbad was talking he became so excited
+that his eyes seemed almost to pop out of his head, but he quieted down
+as soon as any one else began. After a time Sindbad came over to him,
+and taking out his purse, gave him a handful of gold pieces.
+
+"A hundred sequins?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+[Illustration: "_Listening . . . is hard on the eyes_"]
+
+"Yes," said the round-faced man, "that's my regular wages."
+
+"It must be a very large amount."
+
+He said he had no complaint to make, though a sequin didn't go so far in
+Bagdad as it once did, and he had to spend a great deal in clothes.
+
+"I knew the minute I saw you that you must be Hindbad the Porter."
+
+"I used to be a porter before I became a professional listener.
+Listening isn't so hard on the back as portering, but it requires more
+attention and the hours are longer; that is, they seem longer. Besides,
+it's hard on the eyes."
+
+"You mean on the ears," suggested Miss Muffet.
+
+"No! on the eyes; you have to look interested."
+
+"Oh! I understand," said Miss Muffet. "When first I heard about your
+being invited to dinner at Sindbad's and listening to his first tale, it
+seemed the very nicest thing in the world. And how unexpected it was,
+after you had enjoyed it, for him to hand you a hundred sequins and say,
+'Take this, Hindbad, and return to your home, and come back to-morrow
+and hear more of my adventures.' Weren't you surprised to hear a story
+and get a hundred sequins besides?"
+
+Hindbad said that he was surprised at first, but after a day or two he
+began to look at it more in a business way. He had always made it a rule
+to be thorough, for whatever was worth doing was worth doing well, and
+he determined to be the very best listener in Bagdad.
+
+"You see, in my country, we have a great many gentlemen who gain wealth
+by having adventures. When they come back from their shipwrecks, they
+naturally want to tell about them; but there's so much competition that
+it's hard to get a hearing. When they meet with people, like those
+horrid Wise Men of Gotham, who prefer their own shipwrecks, they go into
+a decline."
+
+His eyes filled with tears, and Miss Muffet was sure that he was one of
+the most sympathetic men in the world.
+
+"Now I had a great advantage," he went on; "I never had a shipwreck of
+my own, so that I could not be reminded of something that would make me
+interrupt. And then it is easy for me to have a story seem strange. I
+seem to have a natural gift for it. Any one can be surprised the first
+time he hears an adventure, but if one is to become a professional
+listener he must cultivate the habit of being surprised. Now that story
+about the roc's egg grows upon me; indeed it does! I don't think I
+appreciated it at first. That's the way with all big things; it's some
+time before you take them in. Even Mr. Sindbad says that it didn't seem
+as big when he saw it as it does now when he remembers it. And whenever
+I hear about those huge serpents it makes me shudder, and I ask Mr.
+Sindbad to hurry on and tell me that he really did get away from them. I
+can't stand the suspense. The cannibals are frightful creatures, Miss
+Muffet; they say they eat people. Mr. Sindbad has a perfect genius for
+having accidents. They come in the most unexpected places. And then he
+escapes. I sometimes think that is the most wonderful part of it."
+
+"Do you think a little girl who studied hard could learn your profession
+and practice in Bagdad?" asked Miss Muffet timidly. "You know I wouldn't
+ask for wages; I would do it just for the love of it."
+
+Hindbad frowned darkly. "It would never do, Miss Muffet! I can't have
+little girls coming over on the banks of the Tigris and taking the bread
+out of the mouths of my family."
+
+But when he saw that Miss Muffet was beginning to cry, he changed his
+tone and said, "I am sure you meant no harm, only you didn't understand
+about the wages. You could easily earn a hundred sequins at listening,
+and it isn't so hard to learn when you are young. I would give that much
+myself to have you listen to a queer thing that happened to me once in
+Bagdad. I've never told it before, for I never found any one who looked
+interested. It was in one of the narrowest streets down by the
+water-side, and it was on the darkest night of the year, when"--
+
+Just then the spider came to take Miss Muffet away to meet some children
+who came from The Golden Age. Their names were Harold and Edward and
+Charlotte, and they said they had an Aunt Maria, who had stayed at home
+because she had not been invited to the party. They had walked all the
+way along the Roman Road, which made the spider think that they must be
+tired. In this he was mistaken; though they said that they were ready
+for the refreshments.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter V]
+
+
+The Golden Age children said that they didn't like to play with grown
+folks; after people got to be thirty or ninety they thought they became
+very uninteresting, and didn't have the right kind of feelings; unless
+they were Princes and went on adventures.
+
+Miss Muffet didn't agree with this because some of her best friends were
+elderly peasants whose faces were all puckered up because they had been
+smiling for so many years. She wished, though, that they were not so
+shy.
+
+[Illustration: _The shyest persons in the room_]
+
+"I suppose it's because they are not used to going to parties; neither
+am I, for that matter, but then I'm not so much used as they are to
+_not_ going."
+
+Perhaps the shyest persons in the room were an old German shoemaker and
+his wife, whom Miss Muffet had for a long time loved and admired, though
+they had not known it. Indeed, they didn't know that any one was ever
+admired unless he had found a pot of gold or done something equally
+praiseworthy. The shoemaker had never done anything but make shoes, and
+his wife did the cooking and made the clothes for the family. When they
+received the invitation to the party, they were greatly astonished and
+thought it must be a mistake, but the village priest, who read the
+letter, told them that it was certainly intended for them, though why
+they were invited was a mystery. When the priest told them that it was a
+mystery, they knew that it was so, and came along bowing and curtsying
+as if all the persons they met were their betters, though really only
+one or two were half so good. Miss Muffet ran to them and put her hands
+in theirs.
+
+[Illustration: _Scampering off into the dark_]
+
+"I have just loved you since the time I heard what you did for the
+little elves who used to come at night after you had gone to bed and
+finish your work for you. Some people take what's done for them and
+think no more about it except that they're lucky; but you sat up till
+midnight and peeped into the room where the elves were working, and saw
+that they didn't have enough clothes to keep them warm. Then you made
+each one a shirt and a coat and waistcoat and a pair of trousers and a
+little pair of shoes. What fun it must have been, next night, to watch
+them putting on their things and scampering off into the dark. I never
+heard of elves being dressed up like that."
+
+The shoemaker and his wife laughed heartily as they remembered how funny
+the elves were. The wife confessed that the garments didn't fit closely,
+though she made them like her husband's, only smaller.
+
+"Elves are not so square, are they?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"No," said the shoemaker's wife; "but their clothes are. That's the only
+pattern I have."
+
+"I suppose they are coming to the party? I sent a general invitation to
+Elf-land. There is to be elfin music and a frolic for them. I thought
+they might like it better to have their own games. Your elves can't say
+they have nothing to wear, because that wouldn't be true."
+
+But though she looked everywhere for them, nowhere could she see the
+little elves in square coats and trousers. When the refreshments were
+served, Mr. Spider noticed that everything went remarkably smoothly, and
+there was more of all kinds of provisions than he had ordered. He said
+he had no doubt but that the little elves were helping in the kitchen.
+
+"It would be just like them; the little dears!" said Miss Muffet.
+
+The shoemaker felt very much more at home when he met a young fellow
+named Hans who had come from the same village. He was not the Hans who
+married Grettel, but the one whom Miss Muffet had often heard of because
+he traded a horse for a cow, the cow for a pig, the pig for a goose, and
+so on, all the way home. This caused a good deal of talk in the
+neighborhood, and some of the villagers thought he wasn't much of a
+business man.
+
+Hans, however, was perfectly satisfied with himself, and was quite ready
+to talk.
+
+"The secret of being a trader," he said, "is to be quick about it. You
+must not stop to think: that's where you lose time. If I had stopped to
+think, I should have brought the horse home with me, and I might have
+had it on my hands yet. There are ever so many people grumbling about
+the care of their property; they say it is a burden to them. I tell them
+that it's all their own fault. If they kept their eyes open, they would
+find plenty of ways of getting rid of it."
+
+Hans had such a shrewd twinkle in his eyes that Miss Muffet felt sure
+that he would always get the best of a bargain, no matter how it turned
+out.
+
+While Hans was talking, she noticed a little man who looked like a
+tailor.
+
+"Didn't you start on a journey once," she asked, "with only a piece of
+cheese and an old hen in your wallet?"
+
+"Yes," he answered; "but that was a good while ago."
+
+"I thought you must be the one. And you fooled the giant, and when he
+squeezed a stone till water came out of it, you squeezed your cheese
+till the whey ran out, and he thought your cheese was a stone, and that
+you squeezed harder than he did. And he never saw through any of your
+tricks, though I should have thought that even a giant would have
+suspected. Are all giants so stupid?"
+
+The tailor said that not all of them were so stupid, though fortunately
+a great many were, and generally when they grew beyond a certain size,
+something happened to their heads.
+
+"If it weren't for that, Miss Muffet, there would be no room for us
+common people on the earth. The giants would eat up everything. Now and
+then there is a young giant like Thumbling who is active and keeps his
+wits about him. But Thumbling was very little to begin with. Most giants
+get foolish when they grow up, and then we can put an end to them."
+
+When the talk got upon giants, it was astonishing to see what an eager
+crowd gathered around the tailor. There were some knights in armor who
+listened unconcernedly, for they knew that giants could do them no harm;
+but it was different with the tailors and fishermen and ploughmen. They
+had suffered so much that they could not speak of a giant without
+bitterness.
+
+"But aren't there good giants?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"I never heard of one," said the tailor, "except Christopher, and he is
+a saint and learned how to fast. It isn't a question of their being
+good: the trouble with them is that they are too big. It takes too much
+to support them. They eat us out of house and home. We can't get along
+peaceably till we are all more of a size."
+
+They were all of that opinion, and the stories which they applauded were
+of the kind where a little man gets the better of a big one. Miss Muffet
+could not object to this, because it was the kind she liked best
+herself.
+
+"I never have been so much afraid of giants," she said, "since I learned
+about their diseases. They are not nearly so strong as they look. There
+was Giant Despair,--'in sunshiny weather he fell into fits.' It was
+while he was having a fit, you know, that Christian and Hopeful got
+away. If I were going where there were bad giants, I should go in
+sunshiny weather."
+
+"I don't think you would have any trouble, my dear," said the shoemaker,
+"for you would take the sunshine with you."
+
+And then he laughed to think of Giant Despair tumbling over in a fit
+when he caught sight of Miss Muffet. For though the shoemaker was a very
+kind man, he had no sympathy for giants.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter VI]
+
+
+There were so many interesting things going on at the party that Miss
+Muffet almost forgot the Serious Symposium. When she did remember it,
+she was very much troubled.
+
+"What will Rollo think about me for being so negligent! I invited him
+particularly to come to a symposium, and now I don't even know how it is
+done."
+
+[Illustration: "_I am sorry to be so late_"]
+
+The spider, however, told her that he had secured a hall up two flights,
+and had arranged the chairs and a table, which were all the arrangements
+necessary for a meeting. He had seen a number of serious persons going
+upstairs, and he had no doubt that it was a success.
+
+When she reached the hall, the papers had all been read and discussed,
+and the Little Old Woman, who was in the chair, was just announcing that
+the next business before the house was to adjourn.
+
+"I am sorry to be so late," said Miss Muffet, "and to miss hearing the
+papers."
+
+"If that's the case," said the Little Old Woman, "we will have them all
+over again. The speakers will read slowly, so that the papers will go
+further."
+
+"Oh, please don't on my account!" cried Miss Muffet, all in a tremble.
+"Don't let me interfere with your adjourning. I know that must be
+important business."
+
+The Little Old Woman said that it was the most important business of the
+meeting.
+
+"Does it take long?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"Not if you know how to do it," said the Little Old Woman.
+
+"Then I will just sit down and watch it."
+
+The Little Old Woman rapped upon the table with a huge button-hook, and
+went about the business so briskly that before Miss Muffet knew what had
+happened, the meeting had adjourned.
+
+"Were the papers so quick?" she asked.
+
+"No, they weren't; papers are never that way."
+
+"What were they about?"
+
+"The white ones were about 'Child Study,' and the yellow ones were about
+'Obedience to Parents' and 'Not Losing Your Thimble.' The yellow ones
+were the ones I knew best; I used to have them when I was a little
+girl."
+
+"Then the white ones must be harder. Is Child Study harder than
+Arithmetic?"
+
+"There are two kinds. One kind is where you take the children you are
+acquainted with and tell what you know about them. That kind isn't so
+good to make papers out of. It's too short. The other kind is where you
+get at 'the Contents of the Child's Mind.' I can't say that it's harder
+than Arithmetic, for it is Arithmetic, only it's further on than you've
+got. It's percentage. You take eleven hundred little girls in blue
+dresses and make them fill out blanks. You ask them which they like
+best, chocolate caramels or peppermint drops."
+
+"Which _do_ they like best?" asked Miss Muffet, who had often thought
+about that question herself.
+
+"You can't tell," answered the Little Old Woman; "all you know is the
+answers: they depend on which words the little girls can spell easiest.
+The chief thing is to get the percentage. Then you write a paper. If it
+doesn't come out right, you ask eleven hundred little girls in pink
+dresses and they answer differently. Then you have a Problem."
+
+"What is a Problem?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"It's something to discuss," said the Little Old Woman.
+
+"Why don't they ask their mothers?"
+
+"The mothers are too busy. Besides, their children are all exceptions.
+You can't make anything out of exceptions,--there are too many of them.
+If you let them in, it just musses up the Science. The best way is to
+keep them out."
+
+"But their mothers like them," said Miss Muffet.
+
+"Yes; they think that they are the nicest kind."
+
+When she had time to look around her, Miss Muffet was surprised to see
+how different the company was from that in the other parts of the
+palace.
+
+"They look as if something had been done to them," said Miss Muffet.
+"Oh! now I know who they are! They must be Youths. I've always read
+about Youths in the books mamma makes me read on Sunday afternoon, but I
+didn't know that they were real. Some of them look almost like boys and
+girls, only less so."
+
+Sure enough, the room was full of Youths. They came out of the
+Sunday-school books and the Fifth Readers and the Moral Tales and the
+Libraries of Instructive Juvenile Literature. Some had never been out of
+a book before, and found it impossible to talk in anything but the book
+language. Some were evidently very good, and some were painful examples
+of youthful wickedness, while others were chiefly interested in Natural
+History.
+
+"Youths," said the Little Old Woman, "are easier to understand than boys
+and girls and other young folks. Youths have habits, and each one
+practices only one at a time. When they do a naughty thing, they keep on
+doing it regularly; that's the way you come to know which is which. It
+doesn't matter what it is, whether Vanity or Procrastination or Not
+Bringing in the Wood, they keep it up till they have been made to see
+the folly of it, or are given over to their evil ways. Now children are
+more changeable. When I lived in a Shoe, I was driven half out of my
+wits, for I never could be thorough when I reproved them, they were
+always naughty in a different way. I don't believe that any one could
+have got any of my children into a book; they wouldn't keep still long
+enough to have their characters taken."
+
+Almost all the Youths were accompanied by their parents or guardians,
+though some had private tutors. Two youthful persons from the eighteenth
+century attracted a great deal of attention. They were Harry Sandford
+and Tommy Merton. Harry was a great philosopher, and understood so
+perfectly the principles of the Wedge and the Inclined Plane and the
+Moral Law that it was hard to believe his friend, Mr. Barlow, who stated
+that he was only six years old. Tommy, on the other hand, until his
+sixth year had been quite worldly, and had held a number of erroneous
+opinions. Under Harry's instruction, however, he had been much improved
+and was now quite sedate and observing.
+
+Somehow the painful examples appealed to Miss Muffet most, for she was
+very tender-hearted. There was the little criminal who once stole a pin.
+Miss Muffet had always understood that a pin was the very worst thing to
+steal; it had such fearful consequences. The last consequence generally
+is that one is transported. And there was an example of youthful
+obstinacy who wouldn't pronounce the letter G. His mother was almost
+broken-hearted for fear he might take a prejudice against other letters
+of the alphabet. She sat up three nights with him and spent days trying
+to make him say G.
+
+"It shows that she was a good mother, doesn't it?" said Miss Muffet.
+
+"It shows that she didn't have to do her own work," replied the Little
+Old Woman.
+
+A group of very old-fashioned children were talking together in
+whispers. They were evidently anxious that no older persons should hear
+them.
+
+"There they are at it again," said the Little Old Woman; "they are Mrs.
+Opie's children. People don't know them so well now, but they used to be
+notorious for telling White Lies. I have no doubt that they are doing it
+now; they are exaggerating."
+
+"What's that?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"It's telling how large a thing is before you've measured it."
+
+"But what if you haven't a tape-line with you?"
+
+"Then you should say nothing about it."
+
+"There is Hal," said Miss Muffet; "I know him by the miserable piece of
+string hanging out of his pocket. Hal cut his string. It was a sin and
+he suffers for it. His cousin Ben untied his and has it always ready for
+emergencies. All his emergencies are of that kind; they need a piece of
+whipcord to bring them out right. I've no doubt but that to-night the
+coach of one of the very prettiest princesses will break down and Ben
+will tie it up. It would be just his luck."
+
+Of course it was not long before Miss Muffet sought out Rollo Halliday.
+
+[Illustration: _Hal cut his string_]
+
+"I always did like Rollo," she said. "I almost forget that he is a Youth
+sometimes. The nicest thing about him is that you always know what he
+means. He always tells you where he is and how he got there, without
+skipping anything that you ought to know. When he goes into a room, he
+goes through the door, opening and shutting the door just as you
+expected. He isn't at all like Humpty Dumpty. I don't think I ever knew
+two persons more different. There was only one time when he puzzled me.
+When he went to Europe, and they told him how the French did things,
+'Rollo laughed long and loud.' It was so unusual. I read it over and
+over, but I couldn't tell what he laughed at. I think he might have
+explained, but I suppose he forgot."
+
+It certainly was a pleasant thing to see Rollo surrounded by a group of
+kindred spirits. They were the healthiest and happiest Youths in the
+company, for they had lived a great deal in the open air, and had kept
+their eyes open.
+
+Rollo was engaged in a dispute with little Francis about the comparative
+merits of New England and a Desert Island for farming. Jonas said
+little, but what he did say carried great weight.
+
+Rollo expressed himself as highly pleased with the Symposium. He was
+sorry that there was not time for a paper on "The New Boy" and a
+discussion of the question, "Are not the Young Growing Younger?" He said
+he had seen some dangerous tendencies in that direction.
+
+Having said this, Rollo walked to the other side of the room, and having
+found a settee, sat down on it.
+
+Scarcely had Rollo sat down when Miss Muffet saw a little girl whose
+face was very familiar.
+
+[Illustration: "_I don't think I ever knew two persons more different_"]
+
+"You are Rosamond, aren't you? And once you bought a beautiful purple
+jar instead of shoes, even though your old shoes had holes in them?"
+
+"It was a youthful indiscretion," said Rosamond, "and I have learned a
+lesson from it."
+
+"It was just lovely. Any one can have shoes, but a purple jar is
+something one dreams about: it's almost as good as having a party."
+
+Then she looked very anxiously at Rosamond and said,--
+
+"I hope it didn't happen to you? Since first I read the story Miss
+Edgeworth told about you and the purple jar, I couldn't get out of my
+head the dreadful lines with which she begins,--
+
+         'O teach her while your lessons last
+          To judge the future by the past,
+          The mind to strengthen and anneal
+          While on the stithy glows the steel.'
+
+It seemed such a dreadful thing to have your mind annealed, and you so
+little. I'm sure it's something uncomfortable. And then how hard it was
+for your mamma to make you _choose_ to do all the unpleasant things. I
+don't mind doing them when I'm told to, but to have to choose them
+rumples up my mind. That must have been an awful time when you had to
+choose a needle-book instead of that funny stone plum that you could
+have fooled the boys with."
+
+"But Mamma wanted to train me to be a Free Moral Agent," said Rosamond.
+
+"I don't like agents," said Miss Muffet, and then she was sorry that she
+had been so rude. "I mean I don't believe in being one till one is more
+grown up. And now that we are talking about it, maybe you could tell me
+what the other line means,--
+
+          'While on the stithy glows the steel.'"
+
+[Illustration: "_You dear little Rosamond_"]
+
+"A stithy," said Rosamond, "is a kind of blacksmith shop."
+
+"Now I know what every word means," said Miss Muffet, "but what was it
+all about?"
+
+"It was poetry."
+
+"I suppose that this evening you had to choose between the Symposium and
+the rest of the party where they don't have papers? And you are glad you
+chose the Symposium?"
+
+"No, I'm not," said Rosamond impulsively.
+
+"You dear little Rosamond!" cried Miss Muffet, throwing her arms about
+her. "The annealing's come off. Now let's go where there's music."
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter VII]
+
+
+As she returned from the Symposium, Miss Muffet was compelled to pass
+through some of the more remote parts of the palace, and whom should she
+see but the Caliph Haroun al Raschid, whom she recognized at once
+because he was in full disguise. He had no sooner come to the party than
+he had begun to poke around in search of adventures, as was his habit.
+At length he found two little girls engaged in a violent quarrel over a
+lamb. One was beating the other over the head with a crook, and accusing
+her of theft. This was just what the Caliph was after, and summoning the
+girls before him, he prepared to try the case. The younger girl, whose
+name was Mary, testified that the lamb had followed her to school. The
+elder girl, known as Bo-Peep, stated that on that same day she had lost
+her whole flock of sheep.
+
+"This is a strange coincidence," said Haroun al Raschid: "one girl loses
+her sheep and another has one in her possession. There is a great
+mystery here that must be looked into. Appear before me to-morrow,
+little girls, and tell me your stories." And then he added, with a
+terrible frown and an expressive glance at the executioner,--"And be
+sure, little girls, that your stories are interesting."
+
+Miss Muffet had hoped to have a long quiet talk with Haroun al Raschid
+and to ask him ever so many questions. But when she saw the executioner
+she changed her mind, and she felt, too, that the Caliph was more used
+to asking questions than to answering them.
+
+It was a great relief, therefore, to see a Dervish sitting on the floor,
+as if he had all the time in the world. He didn't seem in the least
+afraid of Haroun al Raschid; for Dervishes are great people in their way
+and have no need of being afraid of anybody.
+
+[Illustration: _One was beating the other_]
+
+"Good-evening, Mr. Dervish, may I sit down by you and have a little talk
+about dervishry?"
+
+[Illustration: _A little talk about dervishry_]
+
+The Dervish said something she didn't quite understand about not talking
+shop on social occasions. "However," he added, "I will be glad to tell
+about my neighbors; that will be more polite." This suited Miss Muffet
+just as well.
+
+"It's what I really want to hear about," she said. "Dervishry must be
+very hard work when you do it well, but it gives you a chance to meet
+all the interesting people. Let me see; you have a bowl, and you sit
+under a palm-tree by a well, and then the Calendars and Cadis and Muftis
+and Merchants and Mendicants and the ladies of Bagdad come and ask you
+questions, and when they put things in your bowl you answer them?"
+
+The Dervish said that that would be against the rule.
+
+"Oh, I remember. You look wise and tell them to come again to-morrow.
+The next day they come again, and you tell them which camel was blind in
+one eye and where their lovers are. That is very wonderful."
+
+The Dervish said that was the easiest part of it. The hardest thing was
+to look wiser than the Muftis.
+
+[Illustration: _An expressive glance at the executioner_]
+
+Very soon they were having a delightful talk about all the great
+personages Miss Muffet had always admired at a distance, but the Dervish
+had known them intimately and could tell all their weak points, which
+were not in the books. Indeed, Miss Muffet was surprised to find how
+many mistakes the books had in them, all because the persons who made
+them hadn't taken the trouble to talk with the Dervish. Almost all the
+numbers were wrong.
+
+"There weren't forty thieves, there were only thirty-nine. I counted
+them myself."
+
+"But didn't everything else happen as I was told?" asked Miss Muffet;
+"and didn't it come out as it is in the book?"
+
+The Dervish admitted this, but said that that wasn't the important part:
+the important part was to count straight.
+
+A remarkable discovery was that all the famous people had brothers, and
+the brothers were always the ones who ought to have been famous, but
+every one forgot about them.
+
+"There is Aladdin, he's a greatly overrated man. I could tell you some
+curious things I learned about him. I know they are true, for they were
+told to me in confidence. People admire him because they think he is so
+lucky. Now if it had been his brother! He came over from China and used
+to sit by the day under my palm-tree talking about the chances he had
+just missed. They were truly marvelous. He missed more chances than
+Aladdin ever dreamed of, but nobody ever writes about him."
+
+"Perhaps they don't know about him," said Miss Muffet.
+
+"That's the injustice of it."
+
+"Speaking of brothers, did you ever find out why it is that the third
+one is always the wisest? I asked one of the North Country princes about
+it just now, and he bowed and said he thanked me for the compliment, but
+he was no philosopher. It doesn't matter where it is, in the Red Fairy
+Book or the Green Fairy Book or any color, the third is always the
+charm, and it seems very much the same way in your country. The oldest
+brother is always vain and selfish, and when he goes into the forest,
+always does the very thing he was told not to. And the second brother is
+selfish, and stupider, for he ought to know better when his brother
+doesn't come back and there are so many witches around. Then it comes to
+the third brother, and I never expect anything of him because he is so
+little and his stepmother has kept him back, but he turns out splendid.
+Did you ever meditate on that, Mr. Dervish?"
+
+The Dervish said that he had meditated on it for a great many years, and
+had at last come to the conclusion that it was a law of nature.
+
+"I am so glad to know that," said Miss Muffet, "for it has always
+troubled me."
+
+[Illustration: _Aladdin's brother and the Dervish_]
+
+The Dervish remarked that when one was troubled by that kind of
+questions, it was always better to consult a wise man at once. It was
+not safe to let the case run on.
+
+"There's another thing I should like to ask about. Since I first read of
+the Three Royal Mendicants, I've always wondered what a Mendicant is. I
+know he must be very proud and great, but what does he do? The
+Mendicants are here this evening, but I don't like to ask them; it might
+seem rude."
+
+Then the Dervish explained about the Mendicants, and seemed so familiar
+with their way of life that Miss Muffet suspected that he might have
+been one himself. He explained too about the Calendars.
+
+The time passed so rapidly that Miss Muffet would have talked with him
+all the evening, had he not at last said that he feared he was
+monopolizing the attention of his hostess; besides, it was about time
+for him to do some more meditating.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter VIII]
+
+
+There was a surprise at the party that delighted many of the young
+people. Old Mr. Esop passed through the hall, distributing handbills,
+announcing that, at immense expense, he had brought from Greece his
+unparalleled aggregation of Fables, which would now be open for
+exhibition in a grand pavilion just outside the south door of the
+palace. Out of compliment to Miss Muffet's party, admission to the
+Fables would be free, though ten cents would be charged to those who
+remained to the Morals,--which, I am sorry to say, very few did. Some of
+the Fables were unusually terrifying, such as the Lions and the hungry
+Wolves, and Miss Muffet was glad to see what strong bars there were to
+their cages. But a number of the Fables, having been for a long time on
+exhibition, had become quite tame, and walked about conversing so
+amiably that the youngest children felt no apprehension.
+
+It was while Mr. Esop was engaged in attaching the Morals to the Fables
+that Miss Muffet caught sight for the first time of Uncle Remus and the
+Little Boy. Mr. Esop was pointing out the Hare asleep by the wayside
+while the Tortoise was coming gayly down the home stretch, and he was
+about to exhibit the Moral when Uncle Remus broke out with a hearty
+laugh.
+
+"You don't fool dis chile, does you, honey? Brer Rabbit he sometime play
+'possum, but he sleep wid one eye open; he not let hisself be beat by a
+triflin' mud turtle. Jess when Brer Turtle thinks he's thar, Brer
+Rabbit'll give a jump, an' Brer Turtle'll find he's jess in time to be
+too late. Oh! I know Brer Rabbit's owdacious ways." But still the Hare
+slept while the Tortoise came deliberately over the line. Then Uncle
+Remus cried out with infinite scorn, "Come along, little boy; dat ain't
+worth shucks; dat ain't Brer Rabbit, nohow. I 'low dat rabbit's
+stuffed."
+
+"But, Uncle Remus," said Miss Muffet, "perhaps you will like the Fables
+better when you get acquainted with them. I'm sure they have always
+borne a good reputation. And now I should like to introduce you to Mr.
+Esop; it's such a pleasure to bring together people of the same tastes.
+Mr. Esop, allow me to introduce my friend, Mr. Remus. I am sure that you
+will feel a common interest in Zooelogy."
+
+Miss Muffet felt a little frightened at making such a formal speech, but
+she knew that she was showing the quality called "tact," which is
+something very useful in a hostess. To tell one's guests what they are
+expected to talk about is often a great convenience to them.
+
+But Mr. Esop, the moment he heard the name, drew back with an air that
+was quite chilling and businesslike.
+
+"Another of those early Romans out of a job! He has just discovered that
+he is a Fable and is looking for a situation." Then turning to Uncle
+Remus he said, "I'm very particular about my Fables, and I want
+everything straight and plain so that parents may have no hesitation in
+bringing their children. I don't like to mix up Myths with my Fables,
+for the chances are that the Mythical Personage, instead of having a
+Moral, may turn out to be only a Sign of the Zodiac. This is always
+confusing to the Public. I suppose, Mr. Remus, that you have brought Mr.
+Romulus with you. In the case of twins, I give no consideration, if I'm
+offered only a broken lot. I must have the full set, Mr. Remus."
+
+[Illustration: "_I must have the full set_"]
+
+Uncle Remus's feelings would have been much hurt if he had not at that
+moment caught sight of Mowgli accompanied by Baloo and Bagheera. Just
+how it happened Miss Muffet could never find out, but before she had
+time to introduce them they had become fast friends, and Uncle Remus
+only chuckled when she asked him if she might have the pleasure of
+making them acquainted.
+
+"Nebber you mind 'bout us, we mus' hab met befo'. I disremember whar,
+but it mus' hab been somewhar down de big road."
+
+And the old man laughed at the thought that there ever was a time when
+he didn't know Mowgli.
+
+At the mention of the big road Mowgli began to sing the "Road Song of
+the Bandar-log." It was a very strange song, and not at all like those
+that her music teacher taught her, but for all that Miss Muffet felt
+that it was just the kind of a song she would sing if she were a
+Bandar-log.
+
+Uncle Remus was in an ecstasy, and the Little Boy shouted for joy. Every
+one praised it except Sandford and Merton, who said that it didn't give
+any useful information except that monkeys had tails, a fact which was
+already well known, being mentioned in all the Natural History books.
+For their part, when it came to poetry they preferred some fine passages
+in Dr. Young's "Night Thoughts."
+
+A great many boys and girls who were on their way to the pavilion had
+remained outside listening to a pleasant gentleman who was telling them
+anecdotes about the Wild Animals he had known.
+
+[Illustration: _Telling anecdotes_]
+
+This troubled Mr. Esop, who, though an excellent man, was inclined to be
+jealous. Miss Muffet went out to remind the children of the Morals, but
+in a little while she became as interested as the rest of them.
+
+"His way of talking is different from Mr. Esop's, but I am not sure but
+he may be right. At any rate, I am glad to hear some one who speaks
+respectfully about animals, and who doesn't say anything behind their
+backs that he wouldn't say to their faces. He always remembers that they
+are persons and have feelings. Then when they do things, he doesn't
+blame them or call them bad names. That's one thing I don't like about
+Mr. Esop. He isn't quite fair, and he is always accusing them of Folly."
+
+"It's remarkable how small the world is, after all," said the pleasant
+gentleman, when more than a score of persons told him that the Wild
+Animals he had known were among their most intimate acquaintances, and
+that they had met them under a great many different circumstances. Then
+followed a good deal of gossip about their family life and the way they
+got their living. Miss Muffet was glad to hear that they were all so
+kind to their children, but the way they got their living troubled her.
+She remembered what the spider said, that "business is business," but
+that didn't make it seem any more kind.
+
+"It's the Law of the Jungle," said Mowgli; and then he recited the law
+word for word just as he had learned it.
+
+"Can't they change it?" asked Miss Muffet.
+
+"The Jungle people can't. It's too strong for them."
+
+From this the conversation drifted to hunting for sport. The pleasant
+gentleman who knew so many animals personally didn't like it. The Boy
+Hunters, who had spent a great deal of time in the woods, didn't agree
+with him. They said that the proper way to become acquainted with
+animals was to carry a gun. It showed that you entered into the spirit
+of the thing. They fancied that it was good for wild animals to be
+hunted; in fact, that was what kept them wild.
+
+Miss Muffet didn't think that was a very good reason, though it sounded
+logical; and she asked several of the Animals what they thought about
+it.
+
+[Illustration: "_It all depends on grammar_"]
+
+A Duck, a Dodo, a Lory, and an Eaglet, who had come with Alice from
+Wonderland, were the nearest, and she asked them first, but they refused
+to answer on the ground that they never had thoughts so late in the
+evening. The Lory said that he had one at home, but he had forgotten to
+bring it.
+
+"You can't make anything out of these Wonderland creatures," said Miss
+Muffet. "I can't really feel that they are animals I have known, though
+of course I know their names."
+
+When Bagheera was asked his opinion, he only growled that it was all in
+the day's work. But wise old Baloo answered:--
+
+"It all depends on grammar."
+
+This made every one look very solemn, for they realized now that it was
+a serious matter.
+
+"First Person, Singular, I hunt. Second Person, Thou huntest. Third
+Person, He or She hunts. So long as you confine it to the First Person,
+it's proper and right. When you go beyond that, it's carrying it too
+far. When you get to the Second Person, that's where the danger comes
+in."
+
+This was such sound sense that they all agreed to it, though Mr. Wolf
+declared that the First Person, Plural, seemed to him to be more
+sociable.
+
+"Does it make any difference about the moods and tenses?" asked Miss
+Muffet.
+
+"Passive--First Person, Singular, I am hunted."
+
+There was a general cry of horror. "What a dreadful point of view!" said
+the Dodo; "it makes me shiver to think about it."
+
+Even the wildest animals agreed that it was atrocious. What was most
+remarkable was that the Boy Hunters, who had been on the Orinoco and the
+Congo and all the most dangerous places, admitted that they had the same
+feelings.
+
+"There's a limit beyond which hunting is not true sport. It should not
+be allowed to go as far as the First Person, Singular, in the Passive."
+
+"I'm so glad that you agree about it," said Miss Muffet. "I knew you
+would when you came to understand one another. That's the great good of
+being at parties; it makes us feel that we are all more alike than we
+thought."
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Chapter IX]
+
+
+When Miss Muffet began to be a little tired, Mr. Spider asked her to
+take a stroll with him into the open air. So he led her through a low
+archway which brought them at last into the Child's Garden of Verses.
+
+"We had to make the entrance quite small," he said apologetically, "to
+keep out the big boys. They run over everything, and we should have to
+put up those horrid signs,'Keep off the Verses.'"
+
+[Illustration: _Wynken, Blynken, and Nod_]
+
+"I am so glad that you have brought me into the garden where I can see
+the verses growing. Mamma told me that people make verses just as they
+make the flowers on her bonnet. But I like the kind that grow, don't
+you, Mr. Spider?"
+
+Mr. Spider said that he was no judge of poetry, but he was inclined to
+be of her opinion; which made Miss Muffet very happy, for she had not
+been used to having people agree with her,--at least before she had a
+party.
+
+It was very pleasant in the garden, for the noisier children had not
+found it out. It was surprising how many things were in it. There was a
+little river with golden sand; and the tiniest mountain, which looked as
+high as the sky when you got the right point of view; and there were
+ships and pirates and a beautiful cow. When you looked in the right
+direction, you could see the big world stretching away much further than
+the eye could reach.
+
+[Illustration: _He was a little prudent_]
+
+[Illustration: _The Rockaby Lady saying good-night_]
+
+Miss Muffet watched a wide-eyed little boy who was wandering about and
+having such an adventurous time as never was. Everything was so great
+and strange, yet he wasn't a bit afraid, only now and then when he
+turned a corner he was a little prudent, as any traveler would be who
+had come to the end of the world and was not sure that the next step
+might not take him off the edge. But it never did, for no matter how far
+he went, there was always a next step for him, as if the good Scotch
+gardener who had laid out the paths had known that such a great traveler
+was coming. As she left the garden she heard him singing to himself his
+glad little song,--
+
+          "The world is so full of a number of things,
+           I think we should all be as happy as Kings."
+
+The idea of the little song was exactly the same that Miss Muffet had
+had in her head for a long time, though she hadn't been able to express
+it so well. Even after she came back to the company, she kept repeating
+the words to herself.
+
+"I think the nicest part about being happy," she confided to the spider,
+"is that it keeps you from being lonesome, and it makes you like such a
+number of things."
+
+"And such a number of people," added Mr. Spider.
+
+"Yes; all the different kinds. It's not because they are so very pretty.
+You like the queer ones too, and you are glad that the world's full of
+them. There's Rumpelstiltzkin, he's not at all like anybody else, and
+his features aren't regular, but I'm glad he came to the party. He's so
+interesting."
+
+Mr. Spider was sure that if he could get every one to feel that way, it
+would make life easier for the members of his own family. He agreed that
+the way to keep people from being cruel was to make them happy in their
+own minds.
+
+[Illustration: _Flew away . . . into the night_]
+
+"And it's such an easy way," said Miss Muffet, "I wonder that nobody has
+thought of it before."
+
+[Illustration: _Into his overcoat pocket_]
+
+[Illustration: _Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began to dance_]
+
+There is not time to tell of all that happened at the party. As to
+refreshments, the Old Woman who lived on victuals and drink declared
+that victuals and drink were nothing to the good things which Miss
+Muffet had provided. Before the evening was over the Pied Piper played
+so merrily that even Red Riding-Hood's Grandmother began to dance. The
+Twelve Dancing Princesses said that it was the first time that they had
+been able to dance as much as they liked. Before this they had had to
+stop when they danced the soles off their shoes; but this evening the
+spider had thoughtfully provided each one with several pairs.
+
+And how did it end? All of a sudden, lights out, cobweb broken, and Miss
+Muffet left alone with her curds and whey? Not at all. It ended as all
+good parties end. The Rockaby Lady from Hushaby Street suggested that it
+was getting late. Then one by one the guests came to Little Miss Muffet
+and told her what a good time they had had, and how glad they were that
+Christmas comes once every year. Wynken, Blynken, and Nod sailed away in
+a wooden shoe. They were such dear little fellows that Miss Muffet was
+sorry that she hadn't noticed them till they came to say good-by. Mr.
+Esop put out the lights in his pavilion; and the Arabians mounted their
+camels and rode slowly toward Bagdad, first making the Sultana promise
+to tell them a story that would last through the whole Arabian Night.
+The Wonderlanders put on their queer bonnets and coats, all carefully
+wrong side out; and the Man Friday hoisted his umbrella to keep the dew
+off Robinson Crusoe; and Doctor Gulliver put all the Lilliputians he
+could catch into his overcoat pocket; and Mother Goose flew away with
+all her family into the night. The little people from the North were the
+last to get away, for it took them a long time to get on their overshoes
+and fur coats and mufflers, but at last they too had gone.
+
+[Illustration: _A long time to get on their overshoes_]
+
+[Illustration: _Closed her eyes_]
+
+"I see by the moonlight that it's almost midnight," said the spider.
+"It's time for little girls to go to sleep."
+
+Little Miss Muffet closed her eyes very tightly indeed, but she didn't
+close her ears, so she heard the first tinkle of sleigh-bells far away,
+and she knew that Santa Claus was coming.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Miss Muffet's Christmas Party, by
+Samuel McChord Crothers
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MISS MUFFET'S CHRISTMAS PARTY ***
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