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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Back to Julie, by Richard Wilson
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Back to Julie
+
+Author: Richard Wilson
+
+Illustrator: Vidmer
+
+Release Date: May 31, 2010 [EBook #32619]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BACK TO JULIE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+    Transcriber's Note:
+
+    This etext was produced from Galaxy Science Fiction May 1954.
+    Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S.
+    copyright on this publication was renewed.
+
+
+
+
+                    Back to Julie
+
+                  By RICHARD WILSON
+
+
+                Illustrated by VIDMER
+
+
+_The side-shuffle is no dance step. It's the choice between making time
+... and doing time!_
+
+
+
+
+You can't go shooting off to _that_ dimension for peanuts. I don't
+want to give you the impression that peanuts are in short supply here,
+or that our economy is in the fix of having to import them sidewise.
+What I'm trying to convey is that, if you're one of the rare ones
+functionally equipped to do the side-shuffle, you ought to be well
+paid for it--in any coin.
+
+That's what I told Krasnow. And he wasn't after peanuts. "I'll do it,"
+I said, "if you'll make it worth my while."
+
+"I'd hardly expect you to do it for nothing," he replied
+reproachfully. "How much do you want?"
+
+I told him. The amount shook him up, but only briefly.
+
+"Okay," he said grudgingly. "I suppose I'll have to give it to you.
+But the stuff had better be good."
+
+"Oh, it is," I assured him. "And you don't have to be afraid, because
+I couldn't possibly skip with the loot. I'll have to travel naked. I
+can't get there with so much as a sandal on one foot or a filling in a
+single tooth. Fortunately, my teeth are perfect."
+
+Sweat poured off Krasnow's florid face as he worked the combination of
+his office safe. His fat jowls quivered unhappily around his cigar
+while he counted out the bills. Ten per cent was cash in advance, and
+the rest went into a bank account in my name. I paid off a batch of
+bills, then stripped and did my off-to-Buffalo.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Honest" John Krasnow was a crooked District Attorney who wanted to be
+Governor and then President. He had the Machine, but he didn't have
+the People. And, because he needed the People, he needed me. I had
+been to this other dimension--the one on the farthest branch of the
+time-tree--and I could give him what he wanted.
+
+Krasnow found out about it after I was hauled up in front of him on a
+check-kiting charge. I'd had something of a reputation before I got
+into difficulties and, in trying to live up to the reputation, I had
+done some plain and fancy financing. Nothing that fifteen to twenty
+grand wouldn't have fixed--but while I scrounged around, trying to get
+cash, I kited a few checks. They pyramided me right into the D.A.'s
+office, where Krasnow was properly sympathetic.
+
+"How," he asked, "could a man of your standing in the scientific world
+stoop so low?" It developed into quite a lecture and, even coming from
+Krasnow, it made me feel pretty low.
+
+So I began explaining. I told him where I was born, and where I went
+to school, and where I had taken my sabbaticals--including this other
+dimension. And Krasnow believed me. I can't account for it, except
+possibly because he knew he was a crook and knew I wasn't
+one--exactly. Anyway, he believed me, and we made the deal and I did
+the side-shuffle, as agreed.
+
+The journey to that other dimension is not a pleasant one. It does
+disturbing things to the stomach, and you see everything thin and
+elongated, as if you're sitting too far to the side in a movie
+theater.
+
+I got there, however, and waited for the hiccups to subside. _Hiccupi
+laterali_, I had called them when I considered writing an article for
+the _Medical Journal_ after my first trip. With the hiccupi gone, I
+stole some clothing--which was one of the riskiest parts of the
+program--and waited for morning. I didn't have any money, of course,
+so I had to hitchhike into town.
+
+I could have stolen myself a better fit, but people aren't
+clothes-conscious in that dimension. They're more interested in what
+you are and what you can do. The driver of the car that gave me a lift
+asked, "And what is your field of endeavor?"
+
+I told him, "I am able to eliminate the long wait in ivory production
+by accelerating the growth cycle of elephants."
+
+He was deeply impressed and tipped me handsomely. I was less impressed
+with his talent for growing cobless corn, and therefore had to return
+only a small part of the sum he gave me.
+
+The world of this dimension had developed some remarkable parallels to
+Earth. I mean our Earth, which falls into what I have designated
+Timeline One Point One, since it's the Earth with which I am most
+familiar. Every other world that has a language calls itself Earth,
+too. I had to visit briefly hundreds of the lateral worlds, hovering
+over primordial swamps, limitless oceans, insect kingdoms and
+radioactive planetoids, before I found the one that was truly
+parallel.
+
+It existed in Timeline Seventeen Point Zero Eight, and it had
+refrigerators, platinum blondes, automobiles, airplanes, apple pie,
+tabloids, television, scotch and soda--just about everything we think
+makes life worthwhile. But it had its little differences, which was
+only to be expected in a timeline where the bionomics could create a
+new world each time someone changed his mind.
+
+Thus, the cobless-corn man was driving what looked to me like a
+Chevrolet, but which was a Morton in his world. He let me off near a
+downtown restaurant where, thanks to our little exchange of talent
+talk, I had enough money for breakfast. It was considered unethical to
+swap talent talk outside the limits of certain rigidly defined groups,
+so I didn't try to out-impress the waitress.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Fed, and filling my stolen clothes a bit better, I walked to the
+recorder's office and spent the rest of the morning looking up old
+documents. There was nothing there for Krasnow, as I had expected. But
+for me there was a very pretty file clerk. Talking to her, I verified
+my impression that human instincts and relationships were much the
+same in this dimension as in my own--except in the one basic respect
+that interested Krasnow, of course.
+
+The file clerk and I lunched together and then I spent the afternoon
+in the library. But I didn't find anything there, either, and then I
+had dinner with her. She said her name was Julie. I told her mine was
+Heck, for Hector, which it is. She thought this was "awfully cute" and
+we got along fine.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Julie had a delightful apartment and a matching sense of hospitality.
+The following day, when she went to work, I stayed home and washed the
+dishes and made the bed and used the telephone.
+
+I ran up quite a bill with my long-distance calls, but I found out
+what I needed to know. I impressed a lot of people with my elephant
+story and pretended to be impressed hardly at all with what they told
+me they did--although often I was, very much.
+
+The trouble with these people is that they no longer know how to lie,
+if that can be listed as trouble. I don't think it can. Neither did
+Krasnow, obviously. He'd never have sent me off on my expensive
+side-trip if he had.
+
+Of course, Krasnow looked at it objectively. What he wanted from
+Timeline Seventeen Point Zero Eight was not for himself. It was for
+everybody else. He wanted the formula for the truth gas these people
+had developed long ago and loosed upon their world to put a stop to
+wars.
+
+They had been in a bad way, although no worse than the sort of problem
+we were up against. Their trans-ocean squabbles and power politics
+seemed to have settled into a pattern of a war or two per generation.
+Just like us. Hence, the man who invented the truth gas became a
+global hero, after a certain amount of cynicism and skepticism. All
+the doubts vanished, naturally, once the gas got to working. And so
+did war.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+You can't do much plotting and scheming if, every time you open your
+mouth to tell a lie, you stammer, sweat, turn red and gasp for breath.
+It's a dead giveaway. Nobody tries it more than once.
+
+One or two men had tried to nullify the gas or work out a local
+antidote, either as a pure research project or through power-madness.
+But, because they had had to state their purposes as soon as they
+thought of them, they were put away. Neat. Very neat.
+
+What I wanted was the formula for the truth gas. Its location wasn't
+exactly a secret in this land of complete candor, but it wasn't writ
+large on any wall for all to see, either. They kept it in their
+capital--located about where our Omaha is--on file among the Vital
+Statistics.
+
+I took a superjet out there.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I had no trouble posing as a historian entitled to the facts. The gas
+didn't work on me, you see, because it was adjusted to the physiology
+of that timeline. There was just enough difference between us for it
+not to make me stick to the truth.
+
+"We'll write out the formula for you," I was told obligingly. "But
+you'll have to sign the usual statement."
+
+"Of course," I said. "Which one is that?"
+
+"The one that says you won't publish it, and will destroy your copy
+when it has served your research purpose, without letting anyone else
+see it."
+
+"Oh, _that_ statement," I said.
+
+I signed freely, told my elephant story and departed in an aura of
+good will.
+
+The jet got me back that same evening. Julie fixed me up a snack, and
+we discussed how pretty she was and how nice I was.
+
+I had everything Krasnow wanted now. I felt pretty good about it,
+because there was nobody else who could have done the job for him, and
+because it wasn't spying, really. Earth One Point One on the Timeline
+is world enough for Krasnow, I'm sure. Besides, dimensions don't have
+wars with one another. Too many things can go wrong.
+
+Julie was lovely and I hated to leave the next morning, but it was my
+job. I told her, "I'm afraid I have to leave town for a bit, dear, but
+I'll be back very soon. Business, you know."
+
+Being a Seventeen Point Zero Eight girl, Julie had no reason to doubt
+me. "Make it _very_ soon," she whispered, her lips close to my ear.
+
+So I came back, and now Krasnow has what he wants. He's delighted, as
+he should be. I've made up the gas for him and adjusted the formula so
+that it will work on people of our timeline. It's high-power stuff and
+a little will go a long way. I also made up an antidote for him. This
+was easy, since I could work on it without feeling any compulsion to
+tell everybody what I was doing and why.
+
+Krasnow plans to release the truth gas just before the state
+convention. He'll be nominated, of course, and after November he'll
+be Governor. With everyone else compelled to tell the truth, it should
+be a cinch for him. He's a patient man, Honest John Krasnow is, and
+he's willing to wait four years for the Presidency.
+
+I ought to be happy too. With the money Krasnow gave me, I've been
+living in the style to which I've always wanted to be accustomed. He
+has offered me a place on his staff and, somewhat superfluously, the
+use of his antidote. Naturally, the reason he was so magnanimous was
+that he doesn't want anyone else around who knows his gimmick and
+might have to tell the truth about it.
+
+But I have had enough of this dimension now--now that Krasnow has what
+I promised him. He's going to use it tomorrow. And if I know Honest
+John--and I do--not even the Presidency will be big enough for him.
+
+So I'm going back to Julie.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+There are some obvious questions in your mind, I know, such as: Why
+did I get the formula for Krasnow, knowing there was no way for him to
+prosecute me while I was in Julie's dimension? And what made me come
+back?
+
+In short--what was in it for me?
+
+Let's call it research. Krasnow is a big-time operator; I've always
+been, you might say, in the peanut end of the game. He had a great
+deal to teach me and I, I'm happy to say, was an apt pupil. You might
+speculate on what's in it for you, because, if you ask me, anybody who
+can do the side-shuffle should do it before Krasnow becomes President.
+
+However, don't go to Seventeen Point Zero Eight unless you want to
+swap one Krasnow for another. The fact is that I've learned I can be
+one in Julie's dimension. After all, their formula doesn't work on
+me--but I can assure you that it will work on you.
+
+And that elephant story I told on my last visit is, as I've indicated,
+in the peanut category. All Krasnow has is a country. I'll have a
+whole world.
+
+There's nothing like study under a master, is there?
+
+I should be back to Julie by midnight if I start now.
+
+--RICHARD WILSON
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Back to Julie, by Richard Wilson
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