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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/3351.txt b/3351.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b627646 --- /dev/null +++ b/3351.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2091 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Letters to His Son, 1746-1747 +by The Earl of Chesterfield + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Letters to His Son, 1746-1747 + +Author: The Earl of Chesterfield + +Release Date: December 1, 2004 [EBook #3351] +[Last updated on February 14, 2007] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1746-1747 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + LETTERS TO HIS SON + + 1746-1747 + + By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD + + on the Fine Art of becoming a + + MAN OF THE WORLD + + and a + + GENTLEMAN + + + +PG Editor's Notes: + +O. S. and N. S.: On consultation with several specialists I have learned +that the abbreviations O. S. and N. S. relate to the difference between +the old Julian calender used in England and the Gregorian calender which +was the standard in Europe. In the mid 18th century it is said that this +once amounted to a difference of eleven days. To keep track of the +chronology of letters back and forth from England to France or other +countries in mainland Europe, Chesterfield inserted in dates the +designation O. S. (old style) and N. S. (new style). + +Chesterfield demonstrates his classical education by frequent words and +sometimes entire paragraphs in various languages. In the 1901 text these +were in italics; in this etext edition I have substituted single +quotation marks around these, as in 'bon mot', and not attempted to +include the various accent marks of all the languages. + +Only obvious typographical errors have been corrected. The original and +occasionally variable spelling is retained throughout. +D.W. + + + + +SPECIAL INTRODUCTION + +The proud Lord Chesterfield would have turned in his grave had he known +that he was to go down to posterity as a teacher and preacher of the +gospel of not grace, but--"the graces, the graces, the graces." Natural +gifts, social status, open opportunities, and his ambition, all conspired +to destine him for high statesmanship. If anything was lacking in his +qualifications, he had the pluck and good sense to work hard and +persistently until the deficiency was made up. Something remained +lacking, and not all his consummate mastery of arts could conceal that +conspicuous want,--the want of heart. + +Teacher and preacher he assuredly is, and long will be, yet no thanks are +his due from a posterity of the common people whom he so sublimely +despised. His pious mission was not to raise the level of the multitude, +but to lift a single individual upon a pedestal so high that his lowly +origin should not betray itself. That individual was his, Lord +Chesterfield's, illegitimate son, whose inferior blood should be given +the true blue hue by concentrating upon him all the externals of +aristocratic education. + +Never had pupil so devoted, persistent, lavish, and brilliant a guide, +philosopher, and friend, for the parental relation was shrewdly merged in +these. Never were devotion and uphill struggle against doubts of success +more bitterly repaid. Philip Stanhope was born in 1732, when his father +was thirty-eight. He absorbed readily enough the solids of the ideal +education supplied him, but, by perversity of fate, he cared not a fig +for "the graces, the graces, the graces," which his father so wisely +deemed by far the superior qualities to be cultivated by the budding +courtier and statesman. A few years of minor services to his country were +rendered, though Chesterfield was breaking his substitute for a heart +because his son could not or would not play the superfine gentleman--on +the paternal model, and then came the news of his death, when only +thirty-six. What was a still greater shock to the lordly father, now +deaf, gouty, fretful, and at outs with the world, his informant reported +that she had been secretly married for several years to Young Hopeful, +and was left penniless with two boys. Lord Chesterfield was above all +things a practical philosopher, as hard and as exquisitely rounded and +polished as a granite column. He accepted the vanishing of his lifelong +dream with the admirable stolidity of a fatalist, and in those last days +of his radically artificial life he disclosed a welcome tenderness, a +touch of the divine, none the less so for being common duty, shown in the +few brief letters to his son's widow and to "our boys." This, and his +enviable gift of being able to view the downs as well as the ups of life +in the consoling humorous light, must modify the sterner judgment so +easily passed upon his characteristic inculcation, if not practice, of +heartlessness. + +The thirteenth-century mother church in the town from which Lord +Chesterfield's title came has a peculiar steeple, graceful in its lines, +but it points askew, from whatever quarter it is seen. The writer of +these Letters, which he never dreamed would be published, is the best +self-portrayed Gentleman in literature. In everything he was naturally a +stylist, perfected by assiduous art, yet the graceful steeple is somehow +warped out of the beauty of the perpendicular. His ideal Gentleman is the +frigid product of a rigid mechanical drill, with the mien of a posture +master, the skin-deep graciousness of a French Marechal, the calculating +adventurer who cuts unpretentious worthies to toady to society magnates, +who affects the supercilious air of a shallow dandy and cherishes the +heart of a frog. True, he repeatedly insists on the obligation of +truthfulness in all things, and of, honor in dealing with the world. His +Gentleman may; nay, he must, sail with the stream, gamble in moderation +if it is the fashion, must stoop to wear ridiculous clothes and ornaments +if they are the mode, though despising his weakness all to himself, and +no true Gentleman could afford to keep out of the little gallantries +which so effectively advertised him as a man of spirit sad charm. Those +repeated injunctions of honor are to be the rule, subject to these +exceptions, which transcend the common proprieties when the subject is +the rising young gentleman of the period and his goal social success. If +an undercurrent of shady morality is traceable in this Chesterfieldian +philosophy it must, of course, be explained away by the less perfect +moral standard of his period as compared with that of our day. Whether +this holds strictly true of men may be open to discussion, but his +lordship's worldly instructions as to the utility of women as +stepping-stones to favor in high places are equally at variance with the +principles he so impressively inculcates and with modern conceptions of +social honor. The externals of good breeding cannot be over-estimated, if +honestly come by, nor is it necessary to examine too deeply into the +prime motives of those who urge them upon a generation in whose eyes +matter is more important than manner. Superficial refinement is better +than none, but the Chesterfield pulpit cannot afford to shirk the duty of +proclaiming loud and far that the only courtesy worthy of respect is that +'politesse de coeur,' the politeness of the heart, which finds expression +in consideration for others as the ruling principle of conduct. This +militates to some extent against the assumption of fine airs without the +backing of fine behavior, and if it tends to discourage the effort to use +others for selfish ends, it nevertheless pays better in the long run. + +Chesterfield's frankness in so many confessions of sharp practice almost +merits his canonization as a minor saint of society. Dr. Johnson has +indeed placed him on a Simeon Stylites pillar, an immortality of penance +from which no good member of the writers' guild is likely to pray his +deliverance. He commends the fine art and high science of dissimulation +with the gusto of an apostle and the authority of an expert. Dissimulate, +but do not simulate, disguise your real sentiments, but do not falsify +them. Go through the world with your eyes and ears open and mouth mostly +shut. When new or stale gossip is brought to you, never let on that you +know it already, nor that it really interests you. The reading of these +Letters is better than hearing the average comedy, in which the wit of a +single sentence of Chesterfield suffices to carry an act. His +man-of-the-world philosophy is as old as the Proverbs of Solomon, but +will always be fresh and true, and enjoyable at any age, thanks to his +pithy expression, his unfailing common sense, his sparkling wit and +charming humor. This latter gift shows in the seeming lapses from his +rigid rule requiring absolute elegance of expression at all times, when +an unexpected coarseness, in some provincial colloquialism, crops out +with picturesque force. The beau ideal of superfineness occasionally +enjoys the bliss of harking back to mother English. + +Above all the defects that can be charged against the Letters, there +rises the substantial merit of an honest effort to exalt the gentle in +woman and man--above the merely genteel. "He that is gentil doeth gentil +deeds," runs the mediaeval saying which marks the distinction between the +genuine and the sham in behavior. A later age had it thus: "Handsome is +as handsome does," and in this larger sense we have agreed to accept the +motto of William of Wykeham, which declares that "Manners maketh Man." +OLIVER H. G. LEIGH + + + + +LETTER I + +BATH, October 9, O. S. 1746 + +DEAR BOY: Your distresses in your journey from Heidelberg to +Schaffhausen, your lying upon straw, your black bread, and your broken +'berline,' are proper seasonings for the greater fatigues and distresses +which you must expect in the course of your travels; and, if one had a +mind to moralize, one might call them the samples of the accidents, rubs, +and difficulties, which every man meets with in his journey through life. +In this journey, the understanding is the 'voiture' that must carry you +through; and in proportion as that is stronger or weaker, more or less in +repair, your journey will be better or worse; though at best you will now +and then find some bad roads, and some bad inns. Take care, therefore, to +keep that necessary 'voiture' in perfect good repair; examine, improve, +and strengthen it every day: it is in the power, and ought to be the +care, of every man to do it; he that neglects it, deserves to feel, and +certainly will feel, the fatal effects of that negligence. + +'A propos' of negligence: I must say something to you upon that subject. +You know I have often told you, that my affection for you was not a weak, +womanish one; and, far from blinding me, it makes me but more +quick-sighted as to your faults; those it is not only my right, but my +duty to tell you of; and it is your duty and your interest to correct +them. In the strict scrutiny which I have made into you, I have (thank +God) hitherto not discovered any vice of the heart, or any peculiar +weakness of the head: but I have discovered laziness, inattention, and +indifference; faults which are only pardonable in old men, who, in the +decline of life, when health and spirits fail, have a kind of claim to +that sort of tranquillity. But a young man should be ambitious to shine, +and excel; alert, active, and indefatigable in the means of doing it; +and, like Caesar, 'Nil actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum.' You +seem to want that 'vivida vis animi,' which spurs and excites most young +men to please, to shine, to excel. Without the desire and the pains +necessary to be considerable, depend upon it, you never can be so; as, +without the desire and attention necessary to please, you never can +please. 'Nullum numen abest, si sit prudentia,' is unquestionably true, +with regard to everything except poetry; and I am very sure that any man +of common understanding may, by proper culture, care, attention, and +labor, make himself whatever he pleases, except a good poet. Your +destination is the great and busy world; your immediate object is the +affairs, the interests, and the history, the constitutions, the customs, +and the manners of the several parts of Europe. In this, any man of +common sense may, by common application, be sure to excel. Ancient and +modern history are, by attention, easily attainable. Geography and +chronology the same, none of them requiring any uncommon share of genius +or invention. Speaking and Writing, clearly, correctly, and with ease and +grace, are certainly to be acquired, by reading the best authors with +care, and by attention to the best living models. These are the +qualifications more particularly necessary for you, in your department, +which you may be possessed of, if you please; and which, I tell you +fairly, I shall be very angry at you, if you are not; because, as you +have the means in your hands, it will be your own fault only. + +If care and application are necessary to the acquiring of those +qualifications, without which you can never be considerable, nor make a +figure in the world, they are not less necessary with regard to the +lesser accomplishments, which are requisite to make you agreeable and +pleasing in society. In truth, whatever is worth doing at all, is worth +doing well; and nothing can be done well without attention: I therefore +carry the necessity of attention down to the lowest things, even to +dancing and dress. Custom has made dancing sometimes necessary for a +young man; therefore mind it while you learn it that you may learn to do +it well, and not be ridiculous, though in a ridiculous act. Dress is of +the same nature; you must dress; therefore attend to it; not in order to +rival or to excel a fop in it, but in order to avoid singularity, and +consequently ridicule. Take great care always to be dressed like the +reasonable people of your own age, in the place where you are; whose +dress is never spoken of one way or another, as either too negligent or +too much studied. + +What is commonly called an absent man, is commonly either a very weak, or +a very affected man; but be he which he will, he is, I am sure, a very +disagreeable man in company. He fails in all the common offices of +civility; he seems not to know those people to-day, whom yesterday he +appeared to live in intimacy with. He takes no part in the general +conversation; but, on the contrary, breaks into it from time to time, +with some start of his own, as if he waked from a dream. This (as I said +before) is a sure indication, either of a mind so weak that it is not +able to bear above one object at a time; or so affected, that it would be +supposed to be wholly engrossed by, and directed to, some very great and +important objects. Sir Isaac Newton, Mr. Locke, and (it may be) five or +six more, since the creation of the world, may have had a right to +absence, from that intense thought which the things they were +investigating required. But if a young man, and a man of the world, who +has no such avocations to plead, will claim and exercise that right of +absence in company, his pretended right should, in my mind, be turned +into an involuntary absence, by his perpetual exclusion out of company. +However frivolous a company may be, still, while you are among them, do +not show them, by your inattention, that you think them so; but rather +take their tone, and conform in some degree to their weakness, instead of +manifesting your contempt for them. There is nothing that people bear +more impatiently, or forgive less, than contempt; and an injury is much +sooner forgotten than an insult. If, therefore, you would rather please +than offend, rather be well than ill spoken of, rather be loved than +hated; remember to have that constant attention about you which flatters +every man's little vanity; and the want of which, by mortifying his +pride, never fails to excite his resentment, or at least his ill will. +For instance, most people (I might say all people) have their weaknesses; +they have their aversions and their likings, to such or such things; so +that, if you were to laugh at a man for his aversion to a cat, or cheese +(which are common antipathies), or, by inattention and negligence, to let +them come in his way, where you could prevent it, he would, in the first +case, think himself insulted, and, in the second, slighted, and would +remember both. Whereas your care to procure for him what he likes, and to +remove from him what he hates, shows him that he is at least an object of +your attention; flatters his vanity, and makes him possibly more your +friend, than a more important service would have done. With regard to +women, attentions still below these are necessary, and, by the custom of +the world, in some measure due, according to the laws of good-breeding. + +My long and frequent letters, which I send you, in great doubt of their +success, put me in mind of certain papers, which you have very lately, +and I formerly, sent up to kites, along the string, which we called +messengers; some of them the wind used to blow away, others were torn by +the string, and but few of them got up and stuck to the kite. But I will +content myself now, as I did then, if some of my present messengers do +but stick to you. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER II + +DEAR BOY: You are by this time (I suppose) quite settled and at home at +Lausanne; therefore pray let me know how you pass your time there, and +what your studies, your amusements, and your acquaintances are. I take it +for granted, that you inform yourself daily of the nature of the +government and constitution of the Thirteen Cantons; and as I am ignorant +of them myself, must apply to you for information. I know the names, but +I do not know the nature of some of the most considerable offices there; +such as the Avoyers, the Seizeniers, the Banderets, and the Gros Sautier. +I desire, therefore, that you will let me know what is the particular +business, department, or province of these several magistrates. But as I +imagine that there may be some, though, I believe, no essential +difference, in the governments of the several Cantons, I would not give +you the trouble of informing yourself of each of them; but confine my +inquiries, as you may your informations, to the Canton you reside in, +that of Berne, which I take to be the principal one. I am not sure +whether the Pays de Vaud, where you are, being a conquered country, and +taken from the Dukes of Savoy, in the year 1536, has the same share in +the government of the Canton, as the German part of it has. Pray inform +yourself and me about it. + +I have this moment received yours from Berne, of the 2d October, N. S. +and also one from Mr. Harte, of the same date, under Mr. Burnaby's cover. +I find by the latter, and indeed I thought so before, that some of your +letters and some of Mr. Harte's have not reached me. Wherefore, for the +future, I desire, that both he and you will direct your letters for me, +to be left ches Monsieur Wolters, Agent de S. M. Britanique, a Rotterdam, +who will take care to send them to me safe. The reason why you have not +received letters either from me or from Grevenkop was that we directed +them to Lausanne, where we thought you long ago: and we thought it to no +purpose to direct to you upon your ROUTE, where it was little likely that +our letters would meet with you. But you have, since your arrival at +Lausanne, I believe, found letters enough from me; and it may be more +than you have read, at least with attention. + +I am glad that you like Switzerland so well; and am impatient to hear how +other matters go, after your settlement at Lausanne. God bless you! + + + + +LETTER III + +LONDON, December 2, O.S. 1746. + +DEAR BOY: I have not, in my present situation,--[His Lordship was, in the +year 1746, appointed one of his Majesty's secretaries of state.]--time +to write to you, either so much or so often as I used, while I was in a +place of much more leisure and profit; but my affection for you must not +be judged of by the number of my letters; and, though the one lessens, +the other, I assure you, does not. + +I have just now received your letter of the 25th past, N. S., and, by the +former post, one from Mr. Harte; with both which I am very well pleased: +with Mr. Harte's, for the good account which he gives me of you; with +yours, for the good account which you gave me of what I desired to be +informed of. Pray continue to give me further information of the form of +government of the country you are now in; which I hope you will know most +minutely before you leave it. The inequality of the town of Lausanne +seems to be very convenient in this cold weather; because going up hill +and down will keep you warm. You say there is a good deal of good +company; pray, are you got into it? Have you made acquaintances, and with +whom? Let me know some of their names. Do you learn German yet, to read, +write, and speak it? + +Yesterday, I saw a letter from Monsieur Bochat to a friend of mine; which +gave me the greatest pleasure that I have felt this great while; because +it gives so very good an account of you. Among other things which +Monsieur Bochat says to your advantage, he mentions the tender uneasiness +and concern that you showed during my illness, for which (though I will +say that you owe it to me) I am obliged to you: sentiments of gratitude +not being universal, nor even common. As your affection for me can only +proceed from your experience and conviction of my fondness for you (for +to talk of natural affection is talking nonsense), the only return I +desire is, what it is chiefly your interest to make me; I mean your +invariable practice of virtue, and your indefatigable pursuit of +knowledge. Adieu! and be persuaded that I shall love you extremely, while +you deserve it; but not one moment longer. + + + + +LETTER IV + +LONDON, December 9, O. S. 1746. + +DEAR BOY: Though I have very little time, and though I write by this post +to Mr. Harte, yet I cannot send a packet to Lausanne without a word or +two to yourself. I thank you for your letter of congratulation which you +wrote me, notwithstanding the pain it gave you. The accident that caused +the pain was, I presume, owing to that degree of giddiness, of which I +have sometimes taken the liberty to speak to you. The post I am now in, +though the object of most people's views and desires, was in some degree +inflicted upon me; and a certain concurrence of circumstances obliged me +to engage in it. But I feel that to go through with it requires more +strength of body and mind than I have: were you three or four years +older; you should share in my trouble, and I would have taken you into my +office; but I hope you will employ these three or four years so well as +to make yourself capable of being of use to me, if I should continue in +it so long. The reading, writing, and speaking the modern languages +correctly; the knowledge of the laws of nations, and the particular +constitution of the empire; of history, geography, and chronology, are +absolutely necessary to this business, for which I have always intended +you. With these qualifications you may very possibly be my successor, +though not my immediate one. + +I hope you employ your whole time, which few people do; and that you put +every moment to, profit of some kind or other. I call company, walking, +riding, etc., employing one's time, and, upon proper occasions, very +usefully; but what I cannot forgive in anybody is sauntering, and doing +nothing at all, with a thing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable +when lost. + +Are you acquainted with any ladies at Lausanne? and do you behave +yourself with politeness enough to make them desire your company? + +I must finish: God bless you! + + + + +LETTER V + +LONDON, February 24, O. S. 1747 + +SIR: In order that we may, reciprocally, keep up our French, which, for +want of practice, we might forget; you will permit me to have the honor +of assuring you of my respects in that language: and be so good to answer +me in the same. Not that I am apprehensive of your forgetting to speak +French: since it is probable that two-thirds of our daily prattle is in +that language; and because, if you leave off writing French, you may +perhaps neglect that grammatical purity, and accurate orthography, which, +in other languages, you excel in; and really, even in French, it is +better to write well than ill. However, as this is a language very proper +for sprightly, gay subjects, I shall conform to that, and reserve those +which are serious for English. I shall not therefore mention to you, at +present, your Greek or Latin, your study of the Law of Nature, or the Law +of Nations, the Rights of People, or of Individuals; but rather discuss +the subject of your Amusements and Pleasures; for, to say the truth, one +must have some. May I be permitted to inquire of what nature yours are? +Do they consist in little commercial play at cards in good company? are +they little agreeable suppers, at which cheerfulness and decency are +united? or, do you pay court to some fair one, who requires such +attentions as may be of use in contributing to polish you? Make me your +confidant upon this subject; you shall not find a severe censor: on the +contrary, I wish to obtain the employment of minister to your pleasures: +I will point them out, and even contribute to them. + +Many young people adopt pleasures, for which they have not the least +taste, only because they are called by that name. They often mistake so +totally, as to imagine that debauchery is pleasure. You must allow that +drunkenness, which is equally destructive to body and mind, is a fine +pleasure. Gaming, that draws you into a thousand scrapes, leaves you +penniless, and gives you the air and manners of an outrageous madman, is +another most exquisite pleasure; is it not? As to running after women, +the consequences of that vice are only the loss of one's nose, the total +destruction of health, and, not unfrequently, the being run through the +body. + +These, you see, are all trifles; yet this is the catalogue of pleasures +of most of those young people, who never reflecting themselves, adopt, +indiscriminately, what others choose to call by the seducing name of +pleasure. I am thoroughly persuaded you will not fall into such errors; +and that, in the choice of your amusements, you will be directed by +reason, and a discerning taste. The true pleasures of a gentleman are +those of the table, but within the bound of moderation; good company, +that is to say, people of merit; moderate play, which amuses, without any +interested views; and sprightly gallant conversations with women of +fashion and sense. + +These are the real pleasures of a gentleman; which occasion neither +sickness, shame, nor repentance. Whatever exceeds them, becomes low vice, +brutal passion, debauchery, and insanity of, mind; all of which, far from +giving satisfaction, bring on dishonor and disgrace. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER VI + +LONDON, March 6, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: Whatever you do, will always affect me, very sensibly, one way +or another; and I am now most agreeably affected, by two letters, which I +have lately seen from Lausanne, upon your subject; the one from Madame +St. Germain, the other from Monsieur Pampigny: they both give so good an +account of you, that I thought myself obliged, in justice both to them +and, to you, to let you know it. Those who deserve a good character, +ought to have the satisfaction of knowing that they have it, both as a +reward and as an encouragement. They write, that you are not only +'decrotte,' but tolerably well-bred; and that the English crust of +awkward bashfulness, shyness, and roughness (of which, by the bye, you +had your share) is pretty well rubbed off. I am most heartily glad of it; +for, as I have often told you, those lesser talents, of an engaging, +insinuating manner, an easy good-breeding, a genteel behavior and +address, are of infinitely more advantage than they are generally thought +to be, especially here in England. Virtue and learning, like gold, have +their intrinsic value but if they are not polished, they certainly lose a +great deal of their luster; and even polished brass will pass upon more +people than rough gold. What a number of sins does the cheerful, easy +good-breeding of the French frequently cover? Many of them want common +sense, many more common learning; but in general, they make up so much by +their manner, for those defects, that frequently they pass undiscovered: +I have often said, and do think, that a Frenchman, who, with a fund of +virtue, learning and good sense, has the manners and good-breeding of his +country, is the perfection of human nature. This perfection you may, if +you please, and I hope you will, arrive at. You know what virtue is: you +may have it if you will; it is in every man's power; and miserable is the +man who has it not. Good sense God has given you. Learning you already +possess enough of, to have, in a reasonable time, all that a man need +have. With this, you are thrown out early into the world, where it will +be your own fault if you do not acquire all, the other accomplishments +necessary to complete and adorn your character. You will do well to make +your compliments to Madame St. Germain and Monsieur Pampigny; and tell +them, how sensible you are of their partiality to you, in the +advantageous testimonies which, you are informed, they have given of you +here. + +Adieu. Continue to deserve such testimonies; and then you will not only +deserve, but enjoy my truest affection. + + + + +LETTER VII + +LONDON, March 27, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: Pleasure is the rock which most young people split upon: they +launch out with crowded sails in quest of it, but without a compass to +direct their course, or reason sufficient to steer the vessel; for want +of which, pain and shame, instead of pleasure, are the returns of their +voyage. Do not think that I mean to snarl at pleasure, like a Stoic, or +to preach against it, like a parson; no, I mean to point it out, and +recommend it to you, like an Epicurean: I wish you a great deal; and my +only view is to hinder you from mistaking it. + +The character which most young men first aim at, is that of a man of +pleasure; but they generally take it upon trust; and instead of +consulting their own taste and inclinations, they blindly adopt whatever +those with whom they chiefly converse, are pleased to call by the name of +pleasure; and a man of pleasure in the vulgar acceptation of that phrase, +means only, a beastly drunkard, an abandoned whoremaster, and a +profligate swearer and curser. As it may be of use to you. I am not +unwilling, though at the same time ashamed to own, that the vices of my +youth proceeded much more from my silly resolution of being, what I heard +called a man of pleasure, than from my own inclinations. I always +naturally hated drinking; and yet I have often drunk; with disgust at the +time, attended by great sickness the next day, only because I then +considered drinking as a necessary qualification for a fine gentleman, +and a man of pleasure. + +The same as to gaming. I did not want money, and consequently had no +occasion to play for it; but I thought play another necessary ingredient +in the composition of a man of pleasure, and accordingly I plunged into +it without desire, at first; sacrificed a thousand real pleasures to it; +and made myself solidly uneasy by it, for thirty the best years of my +life. + +I was even absurd enough, for a little while, to swear, by way of +adorning and completing the shining character which I affected; but this +folly I soon laid aside, upon finding berth the guilt and the indecency +of it. + +Thus seduced by fashion, and blindly adopting nominal pleasures, I lost +real ones; and my fortune impaired, and my constitution shattered, are, I +must confess, the just punishment of my errors. + +Take warning then by them: choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not +let them be imposed upon you. Follow nature and not fashion: weigh the +present enjoyment of your pleasures against the necessary consequences of +them, and then let your own common sense determine your choice. + +Were I to begin the world again, with the experience which I now have of +it, I would lead a life of real, not of imaginary pleasures. I would +enjoy the pleasures of the table, and of wine; but stop short of the +pains inseparably annexed to an excess of either. I would not, at twenty +years, be a preaching missionary of abstemiousness and sobriety; and I +should let other people do as they would, without formally and +sententiously rebuking them for it; but I would be most firmly resolved +not to destroy my own faculties and constitution; in complaisance to +those who have no regard to their own. I would play to give me pleasure, +but not to give me pain; that is, I would play for trifles, in mixed +companies, to amuse myself, and conform to custom; but I would take care +not to venture for sums; which, if I won, I should not be the better for; +but, if I lost, should be under a difficulty to pay: and when paid, would +oblige me to retrench in several other articles. Not to mention the +quarrels which deep play commonly occasions. + +I would pass some of my time in reading, and the rest in the company of +people of sense and learning, and chiefly those above me; and I would +frequent the mixed companies of men and women of fashion, which, though +often frivolous, yet they unbend and refresh the mind, not uselessly, +because they certainly polish and soften the manners. + +These would be my pleasures and amusements, if I were to live the last +thirty years over again; they are rational ones; and, moreover, I will +tell you, they are really the fashionable ones; for the others are not, +in truth, the pleasures of what I call people of fashion, but of those +who only call themselves so. Does good company care to have a man reeling +drunk among them? Or to see another tearing his hair, and blaspheming, +for having lost, at play, more than he is able to pay? Or a whoremaster +with half a nose, and crippled by coarse and infamous debauchery? No; +those who practice, and much more those who brag of them, make no part of +good company; and are most unwillingly, if ever, admitted into it. A real +man of fashion and pleasures observes decency: at least neither borrows +nor affects vices: and if he unfortunately has any, he gratifies them +with choice, delicacy, and secrecy. + +I have not mentioned the pleasures of the mind (which are the solid and +permanent ones); because they do not come under the head of what people +commonly call pleasures; which they seem to confine to the senses. The +pleasure of virtue, of charity, and of learning is true and lasting +pleasure; with which I hope you will be well and long acquainted. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER VIII + +LONDON, April 3, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: If I am rightly informed, I am now writing to a fine gentleman, +in a scarlet coat laced with gold, a brocade waistcoat, and all other +suitable ornaments. The natural partiality of every author for his own +works makes me very glad to hear that Mr. Harte has thought this last +edition of mine worth so fine a binding; and, as he has bound it in red, +and gilt it upon the back, I hope he will take care that it shall be +LETTERED too. A showish binding attracts the eyes, and engages the +attention of everybody; but with this difference, that women, and men who +are like women, mind the binding more than the book; whereas men of sense +and learning immediately examine the inside; and if they find that it +does not answer the finery on the outside, they throw it by with the +greater indignation and contempt. I hope that, when this edition of my +works shall be opened and read, the best judges will find connection, +consistency, solidity, and spirit in it. Mr. Harte may 'recensere' and +'emendare,' as much as he pleases; but it will be to little purpose, if +you do not cooperate with him. The work will be imperfect. + +I thank you for your last information of our success in the +Mediterranean, and you say very rightly that a secretary of state ought +to be well informed. I hope, therefore, you will take care that I shall. +You are near the busy scene in Italy; and I doubt not but that, by +frequently looking at the map, you have all that theatre of the war very +perfect in your mind. + +I like your account of the salt works; which shows that you gave some +attention while you were seeing them. But notwithstanding that, by your +account, the Swiss salt is (I dare say) very good, yet I am apt to +suspect that it falls a little short of the true Attic salt in which +there was a peculiar quickness and delicacy. That same Attic salt +seasoned almost all Greece, except Boeotia, and a great deal of it was +exported afterward to Rome, where it was counterfeited by a composition +called Urbanity, which in some time was brought to very near the +perfection of the original Attic salt. The more you are powdered with +these two kinds of salt, the better you will keep, and the more you will +be relished. + +Adieu! My compliments to Mr. Harte and Mr. Eliot. + + + + +LETTER IX + +LONDON, April 14, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: If you feel half the pleasure from the consciousness of doing +well, that I do from the informations I have lately received in your +favor from Mr. Harte, I shall have little occasion to exhort or admonish +you any more to do what your own satisfaction and self love will +sufficiently prompt you to. Mr. Harte tells me that you attend, that you +apply to your studies; and that beginning to understand, you begin to +taste them. This pleasure will increase, and keep pace with your +attention; so that the balance will be greatly to your advantage. You may +remember, that I have always earnestly recommended to you, to do what you +are about, be that what it will; and to do nothing else at the same time. +Do not imagine that I mean by this, that you should attend to and plod at +your book all day long; far from it; I mean that you should have your +pleasures too; and that you should attend to them for the time; as much +as to your studies; and, if you do not attend equally to both, you will +neither have improvement nor satisfaction from either. A man is fit for +neither business nor pleasure, who either cannot, or does not, command +and direct his attention to the present object, and, in some degree, +banish for that time all other objects from his thoughts. If at a ball, a +supper, or a party of pleasure, a man were to be solving, in his own +mind, a problem in Euclid, he would be a very bad companion, and make a +very poor figure in that company; or if, in studying a problem in his +closet, he were to think of a minuet, I am apt to believe that he would +make a very poor mathematician. There is time enough for everything, in +the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once; but there is not +time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time. The +Pensionary de Witt, who was torn to pieces in the year 1672, did the +whole business of the Republic, and yet had time left to go to assemblies +in the evening, and sup in company. Being asked how he could possibly +find time to go through so much business, and yet amuse himself in the +evenings as he did, he answered, there was nothing so easy; for that it +was only doing one thing at a time, and never putting off anything till +to-morrow that could be done to-day. This steady and undissipated +attention to one object is a sure mark of a superior genius; as hurry, +bustle, and agitation are the never-failing symptoms of a weak and +frivolous mind. When you read Horace, attend to the justness of his +thoughts, the happiness of his diction, and the beauty of his poetry; and +do not think of Puffendorf de Homine el Cive; and, when you are reading +Puffendorf, do not think of Madame de St. Germain; nor of Puffendorf, +when you are talking to Madame de St. Germain. + +Mr. Harte informs me, that he has reimbursed you of part of your losses +in Germany; and I consent to his reimbursing you of the whole, now that I +know you deserve it. I shall grudge you nothing, nor shall you want +anything that you desire, provided you deserve it; so that you see, it is +in your own power to have whatever you please. + +There is a little book which you read here with Monsieur Codere entitled, +'Maniere de bien penser dans les Ouvrages d'Esprit,' written by Pyre +Bonhours. I wish you would read this book again at your leisure hours, +for it will not only divert you, but likewise form your taste, and give +you a just manner of thinking. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER X + +LONDON, June 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I was extremely pleased with the account which you gave me in +your last, of the civilities that you received in your Swiss progress; +and I have written, by this post, to Mr. Burnaby, and to the 'Avoyer,' to +thank them for their parts. If the attention you met with pleased you, as +I dare say it did, you will, I hope, draw this general conclusion from +it, that attention and civility please all those to whom they are paid; +and that you will please others in proportion as you are attentive and +civil to them. + +Bishop Burnet has wrote his travels through Switzerland; and Mr. Stanyan, +from a long residence there, has written the best account, yet extant, of +the Thirteen Cantons; but those books will be read no more, I presume, +after you shall have published your account of that country. I hope you +will favor me with one of the first copies. To be serious; though I do +not desire that you should immediately turn author, and oblige the world +with your travels; yet, wherever you go, I would have you as curious and +inquisitive as if you did intend to write them. I do not mean that you +should give yourself so much trouble, to know the number of houses, +inhabitants, signposts, and tombstones, of every town that you go +through; but that you should inform yourself, as well as your stay will +permit you, whether the town is free, or to whom it belongs, or in what +manner: whether it has any peculiar privileges or customs; what trade or +manufactures; and such other particulars as people of sense desire to +know. And there would be no manner of harm if you were to take +memorandums of such things in a paper book to help your memory. The only +way of knowing all these things is to keep the best company, who can best +inform you of them. I am just now called away; so good night. + + + + +LETTER XI + +LONDON, July 20, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: In your Mamma's letter, which goes here inclosed, you will find +one from my sister, to thank you for the Arquebusade water which you sent +her; and which she takes very kindly. She would not show me her letter to +you; but told me that it contained good wishes and good advice; and, as I +know she will show your letter in answer to hers, I send you here +inclosed the draught of the letter which I would have you write to her. I +hope you will not be offended at my offering you my assistance upon this +occasion; because, I presume, that as yet, you are not much used to write +to ladies. 'A propos' of letter-writing, the best models that you can +form yourself upon are, Cicero, Cardinal d'Ossat, Madame Sevigne, and +Comte Bussy Rebutin. Cicero's Epistles to Atticus, and to his familiar +friends, are the best examples that you can imitate, in the friendly and +the familiar style. The simplicity and the clearness of Cardinal +d'Ossat's letters show how letters of business ought to be written; no +affected turns, no attempts at wit, obscure or perplex his matter; which +is always plainly and clearly stated, as business always should be. For +gay and amusing letters, for 'enjouement and badinage,' there are none +that equal Comte Bussy's and Madame Sevigne's. They are so natural, that +they seem to be the extempore conversations of two people of wit, rather, +than letters which are commonly studied, though they ought not to be so. +I would advise you to let that book be one in your itinerant library; it +will both amuse and inform you. + +I have not time to add any more now; so good night. + + + + +LETTER XII + +LONDON, July 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: It is now four posts since I have received any letter, either +from you or from Mr. Harte. I impute this to the rapidity of your travels +through Switzerland; which I suppose are by this time finished. + +You will have found by my late letters, both to you and Mr. Harte, that +you are to be at Leipsig by next Michaelmas; where you will be lodged in +the house of Professor Mascow, and boarded in the neighborhood of it, +with some young men of fashion. The professor will read you lectures upon +'Grotius de Jure Belli et Pacis,' the 'Institutes of Justinian' and the +'Jus Publicum Imperii;' which I expect that you shall not only hear, but +attend to, and retain. I also expect that you make yourself perfectly +master of the German language; which you may very soon do there, if you +please. I give you fair warning, that at Leipsig I shall have an hundred +invisible spies about you; and shall be exactly informed of everything +that you do, and of almost everything that you say. I hope that, in +consequence of those minute informations, I may be able to say of you, +what Velleius Paterculus says of Scipio; that in his whole life, 'nihil +non laudandum aut dixit, aut fecit, aut sensit.' There is a great deal of +good company in Leipsig, which I would have you frequent in the evenings, +when the studies of the day are over. There is likewise a kind of court +kept there, by a Duchess Dowager of Courland; at which you should get +introduced. The King of Poland and his Court go likewise to the fair at +Leipsig twice a year; and I shall write to Sir Charles Williams, the +king's minister there, to have you presented, and introduced into good +company. But I must remind you, at the same time, that it will be to a +very little purpose for you to frequent good company, if you do not +conform to, and learn their manners; if you are not attentive to please, +and well bred, with the easiness of a man of fashion. As you must attend +to your manners, so you must not neglect your person; but take care to be +very clean, well dressed, and genteel; to have no disagreeable attitudes, +nor awkward tricks; which many people use themselves to, and then cannot +leave them off. Do you take care to keep your teeth very clean, by +washing them constantly every morning, and after every meal? This is very +necessary, both to preserve your teeth a great while, and to save you a +great deal of pain. Mine have plagued me long, and are now falling out, +merely from want of care when I was your age. Do you dress well, and not +too well? Do you consider your air and manner of presenting yourself +enough, and not too much? Neither negligent nor stiff? All these things +deserve a degree of care, a second-rate attention; they give an +additional lustre to real merit. My Lord Bacon says, that a pleasing +figure is a perpetual letter of recommendation. It is certainly an +agreeable forerunner of merit, and smoothes the way for it. + +Remember that I shall see you at Hanover next summer, and shall expect +perfection; which if I do not meet with, or at least something very near +it, you and I shall, not be very well together. I shall dissect and +analyze you with a microscope; so that I shall discover the least speck +or blemish. This is fair warning; therefore take your measures +accordingly. Yours. + + + + +LETTER XIII + +LONDON, August 21, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: I reckon that this letter has but a bare chance of finding you +at Lausanne; but I was resolved to risk it, as it is the last that I +shall write to you till you are settled at Leipsig. I sent you by the +last post, under cover to Mr. Harte, a letter of recommendation to one of +the first people at Munich; which you will take care to present to him in +the politest manner; he will certainly have you presented to the +electoral family; and I hope you will go through that ceremony with great +respect, good breeding, and ease. As this is the first court that ever +you will have been at, take care to inform yourself if there be any +particular, customs or forms to be observed, that you may not commit any +mistake. At Vienna men always make courtesies, instead of bows, to the +emperor; in France nobody bows at all to the king, nor kisses his hand; +but in Spain and England, bows are made, and hands are kissed. Thus every +court has some peculiarity or other, of which those who go to them ought +previously to inform themselves, to avoid blunders and awkwardnesses. + +I have not time to say any more now, than to wish you good journey to +Leipsig; and great attention, both there and in going there. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XIV + +LONDON, September 21, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I received, by the last post, your letter of the 8th, N. S., +and I do not wonder that you are surprised at the credulity and +superstition of the Papists at Einsiedlen, and at their absurd stories of +their chapel. But remember, at the same time, that errors and mistakes, +however gross, in matters of opinion, if they are sincere, are to be +pitied, but not punished nor laughed at. The blindness of the +understanding is as much to be pitied as the blindness of the eye; and +there is neither jest nor guilt in a man's losing his way in either case. +Charity bids us set him right if we can, by arguments and persuasions; +but charity, at the same time, forbids, either to punish or ridicule his +misfortune. Every man's reason is, and must be, his guide; and I may as +well expect that every man should be of my size and complexion, as that +he should reason just as I do. Every man seeks for truth; but God only +knows who has found it. It is, therefore, as unjust to persecute, as it +is absurd to ridicule, people for those several opinions, which they +cannot help entertaining upon the conviction of their reason. It is the +man who tells, or who acts a lie, that is guilty, and not he who honestly +and sincerely believes the lie. I really know nothing more criminal, more +mean, and more ridiculous than lying. It is the production either of +malice, cowardice, or vanity; and generally misses of its aim in every +one of these views; for lies are always detected sooner or later. If I +tell a malicious lie, in order to affect any man's fortune or character, +I may indeed injure him for some time; but I shall be sure to be the +greatest sufferer myself at last; for as soon as ever I am detected (and +detected I most certainly shall be), I am blasted for the infamous +attempt; and whatever is said afterward, to the disadvantage of that +person, however true, passes for calumny. If I lie, or equivocate (for it +is the same thing), in order to excuse myself for something that I have +said or done, and to avoid the danger and the shame that I apprehend from +it, I discover at once my fear as well as my falsehood; and only +increase, instead of avoiding, the danger and the shame; I show myself to +be the lowest and the meanest of mankind, and am sure to be always +treated as such. Fear, instead of avoiding, invites danger; for concealed +cowards will insult known ones. If one has had the misfortune to be in +the wrong, there is something noble in frankly owning it; it is the only +way of atoning for it, and the only way of being forgiven. Equivocating, +evading, shuffling, in order to remove a present danger or inconveniency, +is something so mean, and betrays so much fear, that whoever practices +them always deserves to be, and often will be kicked. There is another +sort of lies, inoffensive enough in themselves, but wonderfully +ridiculous; I mean those lies which a mistaken vanity suggests, that +defeat the very end for which they are calculated, and terminate in the +humiliation and confusion of their author, who is sure to be detected. +These are chiefly narrative and historical lies, all intended to do +infinite honor to their author. He is always the hero of his own +romances; he has been in dangers from which nobody but himself ever +escaped; he has seen with his own eyes, whatever other people have heard +or read of: he has had more 'bonnes fortunes' than ever he knew women; +and has ridden more miles post in one day, than ever courier went in two. +He is soon discovered, and as soon becomes the object of universal +contempt and ridicule. Remember, then, as long as you live, that nothing +but strict truth can carry you through the world, with either your +conscience or your honor unwounded. It is not only your duty, but your +interest; as a proof of which you may always observe, that the greatest +fools are the greatest liars. For my own part, I judge of every man's +truth by his degree of understanding. + +This letter will, I suppose, find you at Leipsig; where I expect and +require from you attention and accuracy, in both which you have hitherto +been very deficient. Remember that I shall see you in the summer; shall +examine you most narrowly; and will never forget nor forgive those +faults, which it has been in your own power to prevent or cure; and be +assured that I have many eyes upon you at Leipsig, besides Mr. Harte's. +Adieu! + + + + +LETTER XV + +LONDON, October 2, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: By your letter of the 18th past, N. S., I find that you are a +tolerably good landscape painter, and can present the several views of +Switzerland to the curious. I am very glad of it, as it is a proof of +some attention; but I hope you will be as good a portrait painter, which +is a much more noble science. By portraits, you will easily judge, that +I do not mean the outlines and the coloring of the human figure; but the +inside of the heart and mind of man. This science requires more +attention, observation, and penetration, than the other; as indeed it is +infinitely more useful. Search, therefore, with the greatest care, into +the characters of those whom you converse with; endeavor to discover +their predominant passions, their prevailing weaknesses, their vanities, +their follies, and their humors, with all the right and wrong, wise and +silly springs of human actions, which make such inconsistent and +whimsical beings of us rational creatures. A moderate share of +penetration, with great attention, will infallibly make these necessary +discoveries. This is the true knowledge of the world; and the world is +a country which nobody ever yet knew by description; one must travel +through it one's self to be acquainted with it. The scholar, who in the +dust of his closet talks or writes of the world, knows no more of it, +than that orator did of war, who judiciously endeavored to instruct +Hannibal in it. Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world +in. There alone all kinds of characters resort, and human nature is seen +in all the various shapes and modes, which education, custom, and habit +give it; whereas, in all other places, one local mode generally prevails, +and producing a seeming though not a real sameness of character. For +example, one general mode distinguishes an university, another a trading +town, a third a seaport town, and so on; whereas, at a capital, where the +Prince or the Supreme Power resides, some of all these various modes are +to be seen and seen in action too, exerting their utmost skill in pursuit +of their several objects. Human nature is the same all over the world; +but its operations are so varied by education and habit, that one must +see it in all its dresses in order to be intimately acquainted with it. +The passion of ambition, for instance, is the same in a courtier, + a soldier, or an ecclesiastic; but, from their different educations and +habits, they will take very different methods to gratify it. Civility, +which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is essentially +the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it is called, which is +the manner of exerting that disposition, is different in almost every +country, and merely local; and every man of sense imitates and conforms +to that local good-breeding of the place which he is at. A conformity +and flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world; that +is, with regard to all things which are not wrong in themselves. The +'versatile ingenium' is the most useful of all. It can turn itself +instantly from one object to another, assuming the proper manner for +each. It can be serious with the grave, cheerful with the gay, and +trifling with the frivolous. Endeavor by all means, to acquire this +talent, for it is a very great one. + +As I hardly know anything more useful, than to see, from time to time, +pictures of one's self drawn by different hands, I send you here a sketch +of yourself, drawn at Lausanne, while you were there, and sent over here +by a person who little thought that it would ever fall into my hands: and +indeed it was by the greatest accident in the world that it did. + + + + +LETTER XVI + +LONDON, October 9, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: People of your age have, commonly, an unguarded frankness about +them; which makes them the easy prey and bubbles of the artful and the +experienced; they look upon every knave or fool, who tells them that he +is their friend, to be really so; and pay that profession of simulated +friendship, with an indiscreet and unbounded confidence, always to their +loss, often to their ruin. Beware, therefore, now that you are coming +into the world, of these preferred friendships. Receive them with great +civility, but with great incredulity too; and pay them with compliments, +but not with confidence. Do not let your vanity and self-love make you +suppose that people become your friends at first sight, or even upon a +short acquaintance. Real friendship is a slow grower and never thrives +unless engrafted upon a stock of known and reciprocal merit. There is +another kind of nominal friendship among young people, which is warm for +the time, but by good luck, of short duration. This friendship is hastily +produced, by their being accidentally thrown together, and pursuing the +course of riot and debauchery. A fine friendship, truly; and well +cemented by drunkenness and lewdness. It should rather be called a +conspiracy against morals and good manners, and be punished as such by +the civil magistrate. However, they have the impudence and folly to call +this confederacy a friendship. They lend one another money, for bad +purposes; they engage in quarrels, offensive and defensive for their +accomplices; they tell one another all they know, and often more too, +when, of a sudden, some accident disperses them, and they think no more +of each other, unless it be to betray and laugh, at their imprudent +confidence. Remember to make a great difference between companions and +friends; for a very complaisant and agreeable companion may, and often +does, prove a very improper and a very dangerous friend. People will, in +a great degree, and not without reason, form their opinion of you, upon +that which they have of your friends; and there is a Spanish proverb, +which says very justly, TELL ME WHO YOU LIVE WITH AND I WILL TELL YOU WHO +YOU ARE. One may fairly suppose, that the man who makes a knave or a fool +his friend, has something very bad to do or to conceal. But, at the same +time that you carefully decline the friendship of knaves and fools, if it +can be called friendship, there is no occasion to make either of them +your enemies, wantonly and unprovoked; for they are numerous bodies: and +I, would rather choose a secure neutrality, than alliance, or war with +either of them. You may be a declared enemy to their vices and follies, +without being marked out by them as a personal one. Their enmity is the +next dangerous thing to their friendship. Have a real reserve with almost +everybody; and have a seeming reserve with almost nobody; for it is very +disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not to be so. Few +people find the true medium; many are ridiculously mysterious and +reserved upon trifles; and many imprudently communicative of all they +know. + +The next thing to the choice of your friends, is the choice of your +company. Endeavor, as much as you can, to keep company with people above +you: there you rise, as much as you sink with people below you; for (as I +have mentioned before) you are whatever the company you keep is. Do not +mistake, when I say company above you, and think that I mean with regard +to, their birth: that is the least consideration; but I mean with regard +to their merit, and the light in which the world considers them. + +There are two sorts of good company; one, which is called the beau monde, +and consists of the people who have the lead in courts, and in the gay +parts of life; the other consists of those who are distinguished by some +peculiar merit, or who excel in some particular and valuable art or +science. For my own part, I used to think myself in company as, much +above me, when I was with Mr. Addison and Mr. Pope, as if I had been with +all the princes in Europe. What I mean by low company, which should by +all means be avoided, is the company of those, who, absolutely +insignificant and contemptible in themselves, think they are honored by +being in your company; and who flatter every vice and every folly you +have, in order to engage you to converse with them. The pride of being +the first of the company is but too common; but it is very silly, and +very prejudicial. Nothing in the world lets down a character quicker than +that wrong turn. + +You may possibly ask me, whether a man has it always in his power to get +the best company? and how? I say, Yes, he has, by deserving it; providing +he is but in circumstances which enable him to appear upon the footing of +a gentleman. Merit and good-breeding will make their way everywhere. +Knowledge will introduce him, and good-breeding will endear him to the +best companies: for, as I have often told you, politeness and +good-breeding are absolutely necessary to adorn any, or all other good +qualities or talents. Without them, no knowledge, no perfection whatever, +is seen in its best light. The scholar, without good-breeding, is a +pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every man +disagreeable. + +I long to hear, from my several correspondents at Leipsig, of your +arrival there, and what impression you make on them at first; for I have +Arguses, with an hundred eyes each, who will watch you narrowly, and +relate to me faithfully. My accounts will certainly be true; it depends +upon you, entirely, of what kind they shall be. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XVII + +LONDON, October 16, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess; but a +very difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and +your own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. +Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of pleasing. +Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably the same thing +in you will please others. If you are pleased with the complaisance and +attention of others to your humors, your tastes, or your weaknesses, +depend upon it the same complaisance and attention, on your part to +theirs, will equally please them. Take the tone of the company that you +are in, and do not pretend to give it; be serious, gay, or even trifling, +as you find the present humor of the company; this is an attention due +from every individual to the majority. Do not tell stories in company; +there is nothing more tedious and disagreeable; if by chance you know a +very short story, and exceedingly applicable to the present subject of +conversation, tell it in as few words as possible; and even then, throw +out that you do not love to tell stories; but that the shortness of it +tempted you. Of all things, banish the egotism out of your conversation, +and never think of entertaining people with your own personal concerns, +or private, affairs; though they are interesting to you, they are tedious +and impertinent to everybody else; besides that, one cannot keep one's +own private affairs too secret. Whatever you think your own excellencies +may be, do not affectedly display them in company; nor labor, as many +people do, to give that turn to the conversation, which may supply you +with an opportunity of exhibiting them. If they are real, they will +infallibly be discovered, without your pointing them out yourself, and +with much more advantage. Never maintain an argument with heat and +clamor, though you think or know yourself to be in the right: but give +your opinion modestly and coolly, which is the only way to convince; and, +if that does not do, try to change the conversation, by saying, with good +humor, "We shall hardly convince one another, nor is it necessary that we +should, so let us talk of something else." + +Remember that there is a local propriety to be observed in all companies; +and that what is extremely proper in one company, may be, and often is, +highly improper in another. + +The jokes, the 'bonmots,' the little adventures, which may do very well +in one company, will seem flat and tedious, when related in another. The +particular characters, the habits, the cant of one company, may give +merit to a word, or a gesture, which would have none at all if divested +of those accidental circumstances. Here people very commonly err; and +fond of something that has entertained them in one company, and in +certain circumstances, repeat it with emphasis in another, where it is +either insipid, or, it may be, offensive, by being ill-timed or +misplaced. Nay, they often do it with this silly preamble; "I will tell +you an excellent thing"; or, "I will tell you the best thing in the +world." This raises expectations, which, when absolutely disappointed, +make the relater of this excellent thing look, very deservedly, like a +fool. + +If you would particularly gain the affection and friendship of particular +people, whether men or women, endeavor to find out the predominant +excellency, if they have one, and their prevailing weakness, which +everybody has; and do justice to the one, and something more than justice +to the other. Men have various objects in which they may excel, or at +least would be thought to excel; and, though they love to hear justice +done to them, where they know that they excel, yet they are most and best +flattered upon those points where they wish to excel, and yet are +doubtful whether they do or not. As, for example, Cardinal Richelieu, who +was undoubtedly the ablest statesman of his time, or perhaps of any +other, had the idle vanity of being thought the best poet too; he envied +the great Corneille his reputation, and ordered a criticism to be written +upon the "Cid." Those, therefore, who flattered skillfully, said little +to him of his abilities in state affairs, or at least but 'en passant,' +and as it might naturally occur. But the incense which they gave him, the +smoke of which they knew would turn his head in their favor, was as a +'bel esprit' and a poet. Why? Because he was sure of one excellency, and +distrustful as to the other. You will easily discover every man's +prevailing vanity, by observing his favorite topic of conversation; for +every man talks most of what he has most a mind to be thought to excel +in. Touch him but there, and you touch him to the quick. The late Sir +Robert Walpole (who was certainly an able man) was little open to +flattery upon that head; for he was in no doubt himself about it; but his +prevailing weakness was, to be thought to have a polite and happy turn to +gallantry; of which he had undoubtedly less than any man living: it was +his favorite and frequent subject of conversation: which proved, to those +who had any penetration, that it was his prevailing weakness. And they +applied to it with success. + +Women have, in general, but one object, which is their beauty; upon +which, scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow. Nature has +hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible to flattery upon her +person; if her face is so shocking, that she must in some degree, be +conscious of it, her figure and her air, she trusts, make ample amends +for it. If her figure is deformed, her face, she thinks, counterbalances +it. If they are both bad, she comforts herself that she has graces; a +certain manner; a 'je ne sais quoi,' still more engaging than beauty. +This truth is evident, from the studied and elaborate dress of the +ugliest women in the world. An undoubted, uncontested, conscious beauty, +is of all women, the least sensible of flattery upon that head; she knows +that it is her due, and is therefore obliged to nobody for giving it her. +She must be flattered upon her understanding; which, though she may +possibly not doubt of herself, yet she suspects that men may distrust. + +Do not mistake me, and think that I mean to recommend to you abject and +criminal flattery: no; flatter nobody's vices or crimes: on the contrary, +abhor and discourage them. But there is no living in the world without a +complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses, and innocent, though +ridiculous vanities. If a man has a mind to be thought wiser, and a woman +handsomer than they really are, their error is a comfortable one to +themselves, and an innocent one with regard to other people; and I would +rather make them my friends, by indulging them in it, than my enemies, by +endeavoring (and that to no purpose) to undeceive them. + +There are little attentions likewise, which are infinitely engaging, and +which sensibly affect that degree of pride and self-love, which is +inseparable from human nature; as they are unquestionable proofs of the +regard and consideration which we have for the person to whom we pay +them. As, for example, to observe the little habits, the likings, the +antipathies, and the tastes of those whom we would gain; and then take +care to provide them with the one, and to secure them from the other; +giving them, genteelly, to understand, that you had observed that they +liked such a dish, or such a room; for which reason you had prepared it: +or, on the contrary, that having observed they had an aversion to such a +dish, a dislike to such a person, etc., you had taken care to avoid +presenting them. Such attention to such trifles flatters self-love much +more than greater things, as it makes people think themselves almost the +only objects of your thoughts and care. + +These are some of the arcana necessary for your initiation in the great +society of the world. I wish I had known them better at your age; I have +paid the price of three-and-fifty years for them, and shall not grudge +it, if you reap the advantage. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XVIII + +LONDON, October 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I am very well pleased with your 'Itinerarium,' which you sent +me from Ratisbon. It shows me that you observe and inquire as you go, +which is the true end of traveling. Those who travel heedlessly from +place to place, observing only their distance from each other, and +attending only to their accommodation at the inn at night, set out fools, +and will certainly return so. Those who only mind the raree-shows of the +places which they go through, such as steeples, clocks, town-houses, +etc., get so little by their travels, that they might as well stay at +home. But those who observe, and inquire into the situations, the +strength, the weakness, the trade, the manufactures, the government, and +constitution of every place they go to; who frequent the best companies, +and attend to their several manners and characters; those alone travel +with advantage; and as they set out wise, return wiser. + +I would advise you always to get the shortest description or history of +every place where you make any stay; and such a book, however imperfect, +will still suggest to you matter for inquiry; upon which you may get +better informations from the people of the place. For example; while you +are at Leipsig, get some short account (and to be sure there are many +such) of the present state of the town, with regard to its magistrates, +its police, its privileges, etc., and then inform yourself more minutely +upon all those heads in, conversation with the most intelligent people. +Do the same thing afterward with regard to the Electorate of Saxony: you +will find a short history of it in Puffendorf's Introduction, which will +give you a general idea of it, and point out to you the proper objects of +a more minute inquiry. In short, be curious, attentive, inquisitive, as +to everything; listlessness and indolence are always blameable, but, at +your age, they are unpardonable. Consider how precious, and how important +for all the rest of your life, are your moments for these next three or +four years; and do not lose one of them. Do not think I mean that you +should study all day long; I am far from advising or desiring it: but I +desire that you would be doing something or other all day long; and not +neglect half hours and quarters of hours, which, at the year's end, +amount to a great sum. For instance, there are many short intervals +during the day, between studies and pleasures: instead of sitting idle +and yawning, in those intervals, take up any book, though ever so +trifling a one, even down to a jest-book; it is still better than doing +nothing. + +Nor do I call pleasures idleness, or time lost, provided they are the +pleasures of a rational being; on the contrary, a certain portion of your +time, employed in those pleasures, is very usefully employed. Such are +public spectacles, assemblies of good company, cheerful suppers, and even +balls; but then, these require attention, or else your time is quite +lost. + +There are a great many people, who think themselves employed all day, and +who, if they were to cast up their accounts at night, would find that +they had done just nothing. They have read two or three hours +mechanically, without attending to what they read, and consequently +without either retaining it, or reasoning upon it. From thence they +saunter into company, without taking any part in it, and without +observing the characters of the persons, or the subjects of the +conversation; but are either thinking of some trifle, foreign to the +present purpose, or often not thinking at all; which silly and idle +suspension of thought they would dignify with the name of ABSENCE and +DISTRACTION. They go afterward, it may be, to the play, where they gape +at the company and the lights; but without minding the very thing they +went to, the play. + +Pray do you be as attentive to your pleasures as to your studies. In the +latter, observe and reflect upon all you read; and, in the former, be +watchful and attentive to all that you see and hear; and never have it +to say, as a thousand fools do, of things that were said and done before +their faces, that, truly, they did not mind them, because they were +thinking of something else. Why were they thinking of something else? and +if they were, why did they come there? The truth is, that the fools were +thinking of nothing. Remember the 'hoc age,' do what you are about, be +what it will; it is either worth doing well, or not at all. Wherever you +are, have (as the low vulgar expression is) your ears and your eyes about +you. Listen to everything that is said, and see everything that is done. +Observe the looks and countenances of those who speak, which is often a +surer way of discovering the truth than from what they say. But then keep +all those observations to yourself, for your own private use, and rarely +communicate them to others. Observe, without being thought an observer, +for otherwise people will be upon their guard before you. + +Consider seriously, and follow carefully, I beseech you, my dear child, +the advice which from time to time I have given, and shall continue to +give you; it is at once the result of my long experience, and the effect +of my tenderness for you. I can have no interest in it but yours. You are +not yet capable of wishing yourself half so well as I wish you; follow +therefore, for a time at least, implicitly, advice which you cannot +suspect, though possibly you may not yet see the particular advantages of +it; but you will one day feel them. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XIX + +LONDON, November 6, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: Three mails are now due from Holland, so that I have no letter +from you to acknowledge; I write to you, therefore, now, as usual, by way +of flapper, to put you in mind of yourself. Doctor Swift, in his account +of the island of Laputa, describes some philosophers there who were so +wrapped up and absorbed in their abstruse speculations, that they would +have forgotten all the common and necessary duties of life, if they had +not been reminded of them by persons who flapped them, whenever they +observed them continue too long in any of those learned trances. I do not +indeed suspect you of being absorbed in abstruse speculations; but, with +great submission to you, may I not suspect that levity, inattention, and +too little thinking, require a flapper, as well as too deep thinking? If +my letters should happen to get to you when you are sitting by the fire +and doing nothing, or when you are gaping at the window, may they not be +very proper flaps, to put you in mind that you might employ your time +much better? I knew once a very covetous, sordid fellow, who used +frequently to say, "Take care of the pence; for the pounds will take care +of themselves." This was a just and sensible reflection in a miser. I +recommend to you to take care of the minutes; for hours will take care of +themselves. I am very sure, that many people lose two or three hours +every day, by not taking care of the minutes. Never think any portion of +time whatsoever too short to be employed; something or other may always +be done in it. + +While you are in Germany, let all your historical studies be relative to +Germany; not only the general history of the empire as a collective body; +but the respective electorates, principalities, and towns; and also the +genealogy of the most considerable families. A genealogy is no trifle in +Germany; and they would rather prove their two-and-thirty quarters, than +two-and-thirty cardinal virtues, if there were so many. They are not of +Ulysses' opinion, who says very truly, + + ----Genus et proavos, et qua non fecimus ipsi; + Vix ea nostra voco. + + Good night. + + + + +LETTER XX + +LONDON, November 24, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: As often as I write to you (and that you know is pretty often), +so often I am in doubt whether it is to any purpose, and whether it is +not labor and paper lost. This entirely depends upon the degree of reason +and reflection which you are master of, or think proper to exert. If you +give yourself time to think, and have sense enough to think right, two +reflections must necessarily occur to you; the one is, that I have a +great deal of experience, and that you have none: the other is, that I am +the only man living who cannot have, directly or indirectly, any interest +concerning you, but your own. From which two undeniable principles, the +obvious and necessary conclusion is, that you ought, for your own sake, +to attend to and follow my advice. + +If, by the application which I recommend to you, you acquire great +knowledge, you alone are the gainer; I pay for it. If you should deserve +either a good or a bad character, mine will be exactly what it is now, +and will neither be the better in the first case, nor worse in the +latter. You alone will be the gainer or the loser. + +Whatever your pleasures may be, I neither can nor shall envy you them, as +old people are sometimes suspected by young people to do; and I shall +only lament, if they should prove such as are unbecoming a man of honor, +or below a man of sense. But you will be the real sufferer, if they are +such. As therefore, it is plain that I can have no other motive than that +of affection in whatever I say to you, you ought to look upon me as your +best, and, for some years to come, your only friend. + +True friendship requires certain proportions of age and manners, and can +never subsist where they are extremely different, except in the relations +of parent and child, where affection on one side, and regard on the +other, make up the difference. The friendship which you may contract with +people of your own age may be sincere, may be warm; but must be, for some +time, reciprocally unprofitable, as there can be no experience on either +side. The young leading the young, is like the blind leading the blind; +(they will both fall into the ditch.) The only sure guide is, he who has +often gone the road which you want to go. Let me be that guide; who have +gone all roads, and who can consequently point out to you the best. If +you ask me why I went any of the bad roads myself, I will answer you very +truly, That it was for want of a good guide: ill example invited me one +way, and a good guide was wanting to show me a better. But if anybody, +capable of advising me, had taken the same pains with me, which I have +taken, and will continue to take with you, I should have avoided many +follies and inconveniences, which undirected youth run me into. My father +was neither desirous nor able to advise me; which is what, I hope, you +cannot say of yours. You see that I make use, only of the word advice; +because I would much rather have the assent of your reason to my advice, +than the submission of your will to my authority. This, I persuade +myself, will happen, from that degree of sense which I think you have; +and therefore I will go on advising, and with hopes of success. + +You are now settled for some time at Leipsig; the principal object of +your stay there is the knowledge of books and sciences; which if you do +not, by attention and application, make yourself master of while you are +there, you will be ignorant of them all the rest of your life; and, take +my word for it, a life of ignorance is not only a very contemptible, but +a very tiresome one. Redouble your attention, then, to Mr. Harte, in your +private studies of the 'Literae Humaniores,' especially Greek. State your +difficulties, whenever you have any; and do not suppress them, either +from mistaken shame, lazy indifference, or in order to have done the +sooner. Do the same when you are at lectures with Professor Mascow, or +any other professor; let nothing pass till you are sure that you +understand it thoroughly; and accustom yourself to write down the capital +points of what you learn. When you have thus usefully employed your +mornings, you may, with a safe conscience, divert yourself in the +evenings, and make those evenings very useful too, by passing them in +good company, and, by observation and attention, learning as much of the +world as Leipsig can teach you. You will observe and imitate the manners +of the people of the best fashion there; not that they are (it may be) +the best manners in the world; but because they are the best manners of +the place where you are, to which a man of sense always conforms. The +nature of things (as I have often told you) is always and everywhere the +same; but the modes of them vary more or less, in every country; and an +easy and genteel conformity to them, or rather the assuming of them at +proper times, and in proper places, is what particularly constitutes a +man of the world, and a well-bred man. + +Here is advice enough, I think, and too much, it may be, you will think, +for one letter; if you follow it, you will get knowledge, character, and +pleasure by it; if you do not, I only lose 'operam et oleum,' which, in +all events, I do not grudge you. + +I send you, by a person who sets out this day for Leipsig, a small packet +from your Mamma, containing some valuable things which you left behind, +to which I have added, by way of new-year's gift, a very pretty +tooth-pick case; and, by the way, pray take great care of your teeth, and +keep them extremely clean. I have likewise sent you the Greek roots, +lately translated into English from the French of the Port Royal. Inform +yourself what the Port Royal is. To conclude with a quibble: I hope you +will not only feed upon these Greek roots, but likewise digest them +perfectly. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XXI + +LONDON, December 15, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR Boy: There is nothing which I more wish that you should know, and +which fewer people do know, than the true use and value of time. It is in +everybody's mouth; but in few people's practice. Every fool, who +slatterns away his whole time in nothings, utters, however, some trite +commonplace sentence, of which there are millions, to prove, at once, the +value and the fleetness of time. The sun-dials, likewise all over Europe, +have some ingenious inscription to that effect; so that nobody squanders +away their time, without hearing and seeing, daily, how necessary it is +to employ it well, and how irrecoverable it is if lost. But all these +admonitions are useless, where there is not a fund of good sense and +reason to suggest them, rather than receive them. By the manner in which +you now tell me that you employ your time, I flatter myself that you have +that fund; that is the fund which will make you rich indeed. I do not, +therefore, mean to give you a critical essay upon the use and abuse of +time; but I will only give you some hints with regard to the use of one +particular period of that long time which, I hope, you have before you; I +mean, the next two years. Remember, then, that whatever knowledge you do +not solidly lay the foundation of before you are eighteen, you will never +be the master of while you breathe. Knowledge is a comfortable and +necessary retreat and shelter for us in an advanced age; and if we do not +plant it while young, it will give us no shade when we grow old. I +neither require nor expect from you great application to books, after you +are once thrown out into the great world. I know it is impossible; and it +may even, in some cases, be improper; this, therefore, is your time, and +your only time, for unwearied and uninterrupted application. If you +should sometimes think it a little laborious, consider that labor is the +unavoidable fatigue of a necessary journey. The more hours a day you +travel, the sooner you will be at your journey's end. The sooner you are +qualified for your liberty, the sooner you shall have it; and your +manumission will entirely depend upon the manner in which you employ the +intermediate time. I think I offer you a very good bargain, when I +promise you, upon my word, that if you will do everything that I would +have you do, till you are eighteen, I will do everything that you would +have me do ever afterward. + +I knew a gentleman, who was so good a manager of his time, that he would +not even lose that small portion of it, which the calls of nature obliged +him to pass in the necessary-house; but gradually went through all the +Latin poets, in those moments. He bought, for example, a common edition +of Horace, of which he tore off gradually a couple of pages, carried them +with him to that necessary place, read them first, and then sent them +down as a sacrifice to Cloacina: this was so much time fairly gained; and +I recommend you to follow his example. It is better than only doing what +you cannot help doing at those moments; and it will made any book, which +you shall read in that manner, very present in your mind. Books of +science, and of a grave sort, must be read with continuity; but there are +very many, and even very useful ones, which may be read with advantage by +snatches, and unconnectedly; such are all the good Latin poets, except +Virgil in his "AEneid": and such are most of the modern poets, in which +you will find many pieces worth reading, that will not take up above +seven or eight minutes. Bayle's, Moreri's, and other dictionaries, are +proper books to take and shut up for the little intervals of (otherwise) +idle time, that everybody has in the course of the day, between either +their studies or their pleasures. Good night. + + + + +LETTER XXII + +LONDON, December 18, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR Boy: As two mails are now due from Holland, + +I have no letters of yours, or Mr. Harte's to acknowledge; so that this +letter is the effect of that 'scribendi cacoethes,' which my fears, my +hopes, and my doubts, concerning you give me. When I have wrote you a +very long letter upon any subject, it is no sooner gone, but I think I +have omitted something in it, which might be of use to you; and then I +prepare the supplement for the next post: or else some new subject occurs +to me, upon which I fancy I can give you some informations, or point out +some rules which may be advantageous to you. This sets me to writing +again, though God knows whether to any purpose or not; a few years more +can only ascertain that. But, whatever my success may be, my anxiety and +my care can only be the effects of that tender affection which I have for +you; and which you cannot represent to yourself greater than it really +is. But do not mistake the nature of that affection, and think it of a +kind that you may with impunity abuse. It is not natural affection, there +being in reality no such thing; for, if there were, some inward sentiment +must necessarily and reciprocally discover the parent to the child, and +the child to the parent, without any exterior indications, knowledge, or +acquaintance whatsoever; which never happened since the creation of the +world, whatever poets, romance, and novel writers, and such +sentiment-mongers, may be pleased to say to the contrary. Neither is my +affection for you that of a mother, of which the only, or at least the +chief objects, are health and life: I wish you them both most heartily; +but, at the same time, I confess they are by no means my principal care. + +My object is to have you fit to live; which, if you are not, I do not +desire that you should live at all. My affection for you then is, and +only will be, proportioned to your merit; which is the only affection +that one rational being ought to have for another. Hitherto I have +discovered nothing wrong in your heart, or your head: on the contrary I +think I see sense in the one, and sentiments in the other. This +persuasion is the only motive of my present affection; which will either +increase or diminish, according to your merit or demerit. If you have the +knowledge, the honor, and probity, which you may have, the marks and +warmth of my affection shall amply reward them; but if you have them not, +my aversion and indignation will rise in the same proportion; and, in +that case, remember, that I am under no further obligation, than to give +you the necessary means of subsisting. If ever we quarrel, do not expect +or depend upon any weakness in my nature, for a reconciliation, as +children frequently do, and often meet with, from silly parents; I have +no such weakness about me: and, as I will never quarrel with you but upon +some essential point; if once we quarrel, I will never forgive. But I +hope and believe, that this declaration (for it is no threat) will prove +unnecessary. You are no stranger to the principles of virtue; and, +surely, whoever knows virtue must love it. As for knowledge, you have +already enough of it, to engage you to acquire more. The ignorant only, +either despise it, or think that they have enough: those who have the +most are always the most desirous to have more, and know that the most +they can have is, alas! but too little. + +Reconsider, from time to time, and retain the friendly advice which I +send you. The advantage will be all your own. + + + + +LETTER XXIII + +LONDON, December 29, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I have received two letters from you of the 17th and 22d, N. +S., by the last of which I find that some of mine to you must have +miscarried; for I have never been above two posts without writing to you +or to Mr. Harte, and even very long letters. I have also received a +letter from Mr. Harte, which gives me great satisfaction: it is full of +your praises; and he answers for you, that, in two years more, you will +deserve your manumission, and be fit to go into the world, upon a footing +that will do you honor, and give me pleasure. + +I thank you for your offer of the new edition of 'Adamus Adami,' but I do +not want it, having a good edition of it at present. When you have read +that, you will do well to follow it with Pere Bougeant's 'Histoire du +Traite de Munster,' in two volumes quarto; which contains many important +anecdotes concerning that famous treaty, that are not in Adamus Adami. + +You tell me that your lectures upon the 'Jus Publicum' will be ended at +Easter; but then I hope that Monsieur Mascow will begin them again; for I +would not have you discontinue that study one day while you are at +Leipsig. I suppose that Monsieur Mascow will likewise give you lectures +upon the 'Instrumentum Pacis,' and upon the capitulations of the late +emperors. Your German will go on of course; and I take it for granted +that your stay at Leipsig will make you a perfect master of that +language, both as to speaking and writing; for remember, that knowing any +language imperfectly, is very little better than not knowing it at all: +people being as unwilling to speak in a language which they do not +possess thoroughly, as others are to hear them. Your thoughts are +cramped, and appear to great disadvantage, in any language of which you +are not perfect master. Let modern history share part of your time, and +that always accompanied with the maps of the places in question; +geography and history are very imperfect separately, and, to be useful, +must be joined. + +Go to the Duchess of Courland's as often as she and your leisure will +permit. The company of women of fashion will improve your manners, though +not your understanding; and that complaisance and politeness, which are +so useful in men's company, can only be acquired in women's. + +Remember always, what I have told you a thousand times, that all the +talents in the world will want all their lustre, and some part of their +use too, if they are not adorned with that easy good-breeding, that +engaging manner, and those graces, which seduce and prepossess people in +your favor at first sight. A proper care of your person is by no means to +be neglected; always extremely clean; upon proper occasions fine. Your +carriage genteel, and your motions graceful. Take particular care of your +manner and address, when you present yourself in company. Let them be +respectful without meanness, easy without too much familiarity, genteel +without affectation, and insinuating without any seeming art or design. + +You need not send me any more extracts of the German constitution; which, +by the course of your present studies, I know you must soon be acquainted +with; but I would now rather that your letters should be a sort of +journal of your own life. As, for instance, what company you keep, what +new acquaintances you make, what your pleasures are; with your own +reflections upon the whole: likewise what Greek and Latin books you read +and understand. Adieu! + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Attention and civility please all +Avoid singularity +Blindness of the understanding is as much to be pitied +Choose your pleasures for yourself +Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others +Complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses +Contempt +Disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not to be so +Do as you would be done by +Do what you are about +Dress well, and not too well +Dressed like the reasonable people of your own age +Easy without too much familiarity +Employ your whole time, which few people do +Exalt the gentle in woman and man--above the merely genteel +Eyes and ears open and mouth mostly shut +Fit to live--or not live at all +Flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world +Genteel without affectation +Geography and history are very imperfect separately +Good-breeding +Gratitude not being universal, nor even common +Greatest fools are the greatest liars +He that is gentil doeth gentil deeds +If once we quarrel, I will never forgive +Injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult +Judge of every man's truth by his degree of understanding +Knowing any language imperfectly +Knowledge: either despise it, or think that they have enough +Labor is the unavoidable fatigue of a necessary journey +Let nothing pass till you understand it +Life of ignorance is not only a very contemptible, but tiresome +Listlessness and indolence are always blameable +Make a great difference between companions and friends +Make himself whatever he pleases, except a good poet +Merit and good-breeding will make their way everywhere +Never maintain an argument with heat and clamor +Observe, without being thought an observer +Only doing one thing at a time +Pay them with compliments, but not with confidence +Pleasure is the rock which most young people split upon +Pride of being the first of the company +Real friendship is a slow grower +Receive them with great civility, but with great incredulity +Recommend it(pleasure) to you, like an Epicurean +Respectful without meanness, easy without too much familiarity +Scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow +Sentiment-mongers +State your difficulties, whenever you have any +Studied and elaborate dress of the ugliest women in the world +Sure guide is, he who has often gone the road which you want to +Talk of natural affection is talking nonsense +TELL ME WHO YOU LIVE WITH AND I WILL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE +Thing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable when lost +True use and value of time +Unguarded frankness +Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well +Wrapped up and absorbed in their abstruse speculations +Young leading the young, is like the blind leading the blind + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Letters to His Son, 1746-1747 +by The Earl of Chesterfield + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LETTERS TO HIS SON, 1746-1747 *** + +***** This file should be named 3351.txt or 3351.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/3/5/3351/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.12.12.00*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +Letters to His Son, 1746-47 + +by The Earl of Chesterfield + + + + + LETTERS TO HIS SON + By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD + + on the Fine Art of becoming a + + MAN OF THE WORLD + + and a + + GENTLEMAN + + + + +Etext Editor's Notes: + +O. S. and N. S.: On consultation with several specialists I have +concluded that the abbreviations O. S. and N. S. relate to the difference +between the old Julian calender used in England and the Gregorian calender +which was the standard in Europe. In the mid 18th century it is said that +this once amounted to a difference of eleven days. To keep track of the +chronology of letters back and forth from England to France or other +countries in mainland Europe, Chesterfield inserted in dates the +designation O. S. (old style) and N. S. (new style). + +Chesterfield demonstrates his classical education by frequent words and +sometimes entire paragraphs in various languages. In the 1901 text these +were in italics; in this etext edition I have substituted single quotation +marks around these, as in 'bon mot', and not attempted to include the +various accent marks of all the languages. + +I have appended a list of phrases extracted from the letters as an index +pointing to thoughts of particular interest to me. These are of course +without page designations in this plain text format. After downloading +this file to any word processing program a simple search or find operation +will locate any selected phrase in its entire context. + +Only obvious typographical errors have been corrected. The original +and occasionally variable spelling is retained throughout. + +D.W. + + + + + +SPECIAL INTRODUCTION + +The proud Lord Chesterfield would have turned in his grave had he known +that he was to go down to posterity as a teacher and preacher of the +gospel of not grace, but--"the graces, the graces, the graces." Natural +gifts, social status, open opportunities, and his ambition, all conspired +to destine him for high statesmanship. If anything was lacking in his +qualifications, he had the pluck and good sense to work hard and +persistently until the deficiency was made up. Something remained +lacking, and not all his consummate mastery of arts could conceal that +conspicuous want,--the want of heart. + +Teacher and preacher he assuredly is, and long will be, yet no thanks are +his due from a posterity of the common people whom he so sublimely +despised. His pious mission was not to raise the level of the multitude, +but to lift a single individual upon a pedestal so high that his lowly +origin should not betray itself. That individual was his, Lord +Chesterfield's, illegitimate son, whose inferior blood should be given +the true blue hue by concentrating upon him all the externals of +aristocratic education. + +Never had pupil so devoted, persistent, lavish, and brilliant a guide, +philosopher, and friend, for the parental relation was shrewdly merged in +these. Never were devotion and uphill struggle against doubts of success +more bitterly repaid. Philip Stanhope was born in 1732, when his father +was thirty-eight. He absorbed readily enough the solids of the ideal +education supplied him, but, by perversity of fate, he cared not a fig +for "the graces, the graces, the graces," which his father so wisely +deemed by far the superior qualities to be cultivated by the budding +courtier and statesman. A few years of minor services to his country +were rendered, though Chesterfield was breaking his substitute for a +heart because his son could not or would not play the superfine +gentleman--on the paternal model, and then came the news of his death, +when only thirty-six. What was a still greater shock to the lordly +father, now deaf, gouty, fretful, and at outs with the world, his +informant reported that she had been secretly married for several years +to Young Hopeful, and was left penniless with two boys. Lord +Chesterfield was above all things a practical philosopher, as hard and +as exquisitely rounded and polished as a granite column. He accepted +the vanishing of his lifelong dream with the admirable stolidity of a +fatalist, and in those last days of his radically artificial life he +disclosed a welcome tenderness, a touch of the divine, none the less so +for being common duty, shown in the few brief letters to his son's widow +and to "our boys." This, and his enviable gift of being able to view the +downs as well as the ups of life in the consoling humorous light, must +modify the sterner judgment so easily passed upon his characteristic +inculcation, if not practice, of heartlessness. + +The thirteenth-century mother church in the town from which Lord +Chesterfield's title came has a peculiar steeple, graceful in its lines, +but it points askew, from whatever quarter it is seen. The writer of +these Letters, which he never dreamed would be published, is the best +self-portrayed Gentleman in literature. In everything he was naturally a +stylist, perfected by assiduous art, yet the graceful steeple is somehow +warped out of the beauty of the perpendicular. His ideal Gentleman is +the frigid product of a rigid mechanical drill, with the mien of a +posture master, the skin-deep graciousness of a French Marechal, the +calculating adventurer who cuts unpretentious worthies to toady to +society magnates, who affects the supercilious air of a shallow dandy +and cherishes the heart of a frog. True, he repeatedly insists on the +obligation of truthfulness in all things, and of, honor in dealing with +the world. His Gentleman may; nay, he must, sail with the stream, gamble +in moderation if it is the fashion, must stoop to wear ridiculous clothes +and ornaments if they are the mode, though despising his weakness all to +himself, and no true Gentleman could afford to keep out of the little +gallantries which so effectively advertised him as a man of spirit sad +charm. Those repeated injunctions of honor are to be the rule, subject +to these exceptions, which transcend the common proprieties when the +subject is the rising young gentleman of the period and his goal social +success. If an undercurrent of shady morality is traceable in this +Chesterfieldian philosophy it must, of course, be explained away by the +less perfect moral standard of his period as compared with that of our +day. Whether this holds strictly true of men may be open to discussion, +but his lordship's worldly instructions as to the utility of women as +stepping-stones to favor in high places are equally at variance with the +principles he so impressively inculcates and with modern conceptions of +social honor. The externals of good breeding cannot be over-estimated, +if honestly come by, nor is it necessary to examine too deeply into the +prime motives of those who urge them upon a generation in whose eyes +matter is more important than manner. Superficial refinement is better +than none, but the Chesterfield pulpit cannot afford to shirk the duty of +proclaiming loud and far that the only courtesy worthy of respect is that +'politesse de coeur,' the politeness of the heart, which finds expression +in consideration for others as the ruling principle of conduct. This +militates to some extent against the assumption of fine airs without the +backing of fine behavior, and if it tends to discourage the effort to use +others for selfish ends, it nevertheless pays better in the long run. + +Chesterfield's frankness in so many confessions of sharp practice almost +merits his canonization as a minor saint of society. Dr. Johnson has +indeed placed him on a Simeon Stylites pillar, an immortality of penance +from which no good member of the writers' guild is likely to pray his +deliverance. He commends the fine art and high science of dissimulation +with the gusto of an apostle and the authority of an expert. +Dissimulate, but do not simulate, disguise your real sentiments, but do +not falsify them. Go through the world with your eyes and ears open and +mouth mostly shut. When new or stale gossip is brought to you, never let +on that you know it already, nor that it really interests you. The +reading of these Letters is better than hearing the average comedy, in +which the wit of a single sentence of Chesterfield suffices to carry an +act. His man-of-the-world philosophy is as old as the Proverbs of +Solomon, but will always be fresh and true, and enjoyable at any age, +thanks to his pithy expression, his unfailing common sense, his sparkling +wit and charming humor. This latter gift shows in the seeming lapses +from his rigid rule requiring absolute elegance of expression at all +times, when an unexpected coarseness, in some provincial colloquialism, +crops out with picturesque force. The beau ideal of superfineness +occasionally enjoys the bliss of harking back to mother English. + +Above all the defects that can be charged against the Letters, there +rises the substantial merit of an honest effort to exalt the gentle in +woman and man--above the merely genteel. "He that is gentil doeth gentil +deeds," runs the mediaeval saying which marks the distinction between the +genuine and the sham in behavior. A later age had it thus: "Handsome is +as handsome does," and in this larger sense we have agreed to accept the +motto of William of Wykeham, which declares that "Manners maketh Man." + +OLIVER H. G. LEIGH + + + + + + +LETTER I + +BATH, October 9, O. S. 1746 + +DEAR BOY: Your distresses in your journey from Heidelberg to +Schaffhausen, your lying upon straw, your black bread, and your broken +'berline,' are proper seasonings for the greater fatigues and distresses +which you must expect in the course of your travels; and, if one had a +mind to moralize, one might call them the samples of the accidents, rubs, +and difficulties, which every man meets with in his journey through life. +In this journey, the understanding is the 'voiture' that must carry you +through; and in proportion as that is stronger or weaker, more or less in +repair, your journey will be better or worse; though at best you will now +and then find some bad roads, and some bad inns. Take care, therefore, +to keep that necessary 'voiture' in perfect good repair; examine, +improve, and strengthen it every day: it is in the power, and ought to be +the care, of every man to do it; he that neglects it, deserves to feel, +and certainly will feel, the fatal effects of that negligence. + +'A propos' of negligence: I must say something to you upon that subject. +You know I have often told you, that my affection for you was not a weak, +womanish one; and, far from blinding me, it makes me but more quick- +sighted as to your faults; those it is not only my right, but my duty to +tell you of; and it is your duty and your interest to correct them. +In the strict scrutiny which I have made into you, I have (thank God) +hitherto not discovered any vice of the heart, or any peculiar weakness +of the head: but I have discovered laziness, inattention, and +indifference; faults which are only pardonable in old men, who, in the +decline of life, when health and spirits fail, have a kind of claim to +that sort of tranquillity. But a young man should be ambitious to shine, +and excel; alert, active, and indefatigable in the means of doing it; +and, like Caesar, 'Nil actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum.' You +seem to want that 'vivida vis animi,' which spurs and excites most young +men to please, to shine, to excel. Without the desire and the pains +necessary to be considerable, depend upon it, you never can be so; as, +without the desire and attention necessary to please, you never can +please. 'Nullum numen abest, si sit prudentia,' is unquestionably true, +with regard to everything except poetry; and I am very sure that any man +of common understanding may, by proper culture, care, attention, and +labor, make himself whatever he pleases, except a good poet. Your +destination is the great and busy world; your immediate object is the +affairs, the interests, and the history, the constitutions, the customs, +and the manners of the several parts of Europe. In this, any man of +common sense may, by common application, be sure to excel. Ancient and +modern history are, by attention, easily attainable. Geography and +chronology the same, none of them requiring any uncommon share of genius +or invention. Speaking and Writing, clearly, correctly, and with ease +and grace, are certainly to be acquired, by reading the best authors with +care, and by attention to the best living models. These are the +qualifications more particularly necessary for you, in your department, +which you may be possessed of, if you please; and which, I tell you +fairly, I shall be very angry at you, if you are not; because, as you +have the means in your hands, it will be your own fault only. + +If care and application are necessary to the acquiring of those +qualifications, without which you can never be considerable, nor make a +figure in the world, they are not less necessary with regard to the +lesser accomplishments, which are requisite to make you agreeable and +pleasing in society. In truth, whatever is worth doing at all, is worth +doing well; and nothing can be done well without attention: I therefore +carry the necessity of attention down to the lowest things, even to +dancing and dress. Custom has made dancing sometimes necessary for a +young man; therefore mind it while you learn it that you may learn to do +it well, and not be ridiculous, though in a ridiculous act. Dress is of +the same nature; you must dress; therefore attend to it; not in order to +rival or to excel a fop in it, but in order to avoid singularity, and +consequently ridicule. Take great care always to be dressed like the +reasonable people of your own age, in the place where you are; whose +dress is never spoken of one way or another, as either too negligent or +too much studied. + +What is commonly called an absent man, is commonly either a very weak, +or a very affected man; but be he which he will, he is, I am sure, a very +disagreeable man in company. He fails in all the common offices of +civility; he seems not to know those people to-day, whom yesterday he +appeared to live in intimacy with. He takes no part in the general +conversation; but, on the contrary, breaks into it from time to time, +with some start of his own, as if he waked from a dream. This (as I said +before) is a sure indication, either of a mind so weak that it is not +able to bear above one object at a time; or so affected, that it would be +supposed to be wholly engrossed by, and directed to, some very great and +important objects. Sir Isaac Newton, Mr. Locke, and (it may be) five or +six more, since the creation of the world, may have had a right to +absence, from that intense thought which the things they were +investigating required. But if a young man, and a man of the world, +who has no such avocations to plead, will claim and exercise that right +of absence in company, his pretended right should, in my mind, be turned +into an involuntary absence, by his perpetual exclusion out of company. +However frivolous a company may be, still, while you are among them, +do not show them, by your inattention, that you think them so; but rather +take their tone, and conform in some degree to their weakness, instead of +manifesting your contempt for them. There is nothing that people bear +more impatiently, or forgive less, than contempt; and an injury is much +sooner forgotten than an insult. If, therefore, you would rather please +than offend, rather be well than ill spoken of, rather be loved than +hated; remember to have that constant attention about you which flatters +every man's little vanity; and the want of which, by mortifying his +pride, never fails to excite his resentment, or at least his ill will. +For instance, most people (I might say all people) have their weaknesses; +they have their aversions and their likings, to such or such things; so +that, if you were to laugh at a man for his aversion to a cat, or cheese +(which are common antipathies), or, by inattention and negligence, to let +them come in his way, where you could prevent it, he would, in the first +case, think himself insulted, and, in the second, slighted, and would +remember both. Whereas your care to procure for him what he likes, and +to remove from him what he hates, shows him that he is at least an object +of your attention; flatters his vanity, and makes him possibly more your +friend, than a more important service would have done. With regard to +women, attentions still below these are necessary, and, by the custom of +the world, in some measure due, according to the laws of good-breeding. + +My long and frequent letters, which I send you, in great doubt of their +success, put me in mind of certain papers, which you have very lately, +and I formerly, sent up to kites, along the string, which we called +messengers; some of them the wind used to blow away, others were torn by +the string, and but few of them got up and stuck to the kite. But I will +content myself now, as I did then, if some of my present messengers do +but stick to you. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER II + +DEAR BOY: You are by this time (I suppose) quite settled and at home at +Lausanne; therefore pray let me know how you pass your time there, and +what your studies, your amusements, and your acquaintances are. I take +it for granted, that you inform yourself daily of the nature of the +government and constitution of the Thirteen Cantons; and as I am ignorant +of them myself, must apply to you for information. I know the names, but +I do not know the nature of some of the most considerable offices there; +such as the Avoyers, the Seizeniers, the Banderets, and the Gros Sautier. +I desire, therefore, that you will let me know what is the particular +business, department, or province of these several magistrates. But as +I imagine that there may be some, though, I believe, no essential +difference, in the governments of the several Cantons, I would not give +you the trouble of informing yourself of each of them; but confine my +inquiries, as you may your informations, to the Canton you reside in, +that of Berne, which I take to be the principal one. I am not sure +whether the Pays de Vaud, where you are, being a conquered country, and +taken from the Dukes of Savoy, in the year 1536, has the same share in +the government of the Canton, as the German part of it has. Pray inform +yourself and me about it. + +I have this moment received yours from Berne, of the 2d October, N. S. +and also one from Mr. Harte, of the same date, under Mr. Burnaby's cover. +I find by the latter, and indeed I thought so before, that some of your +letters and some of Mr. Harte's have not reached me. Wherefore, for the +future, I desire, that both he and you will direct your letters for me, +to be left ches Monsieur Wolters, Agent de S. M. Britanique, a Rotterdam, +who will take care to send them to me safe. The reason why you have not +received letters either from me or from Grevenkop was that we directed +them to Lausanne, where we thought you long ago: and we thought it to no +purpose to direct to you upon your ROUTE, where it was little likely that +our letters would meet with you. But you have, since your arrival at +Lausanne, I believe, found letters enough from me; and it may be more +than you have read, at least with attention. + +I am glad that you like Switzerland so well; and am impatient to hear how +other matters go, after your settlement at Lausanne. God bless you! + + + + +LETTER III + +LONDON, December 2, O.S. 1746. + +DEAR BOY: I have not, in my present situation, --[His Lordship was, in +the year 1746, appointed one of his Majesty's secretaries of state.]-- +time to write to you, either so much or so often as I used, while I was +in a place of much more leisure and profit; but my affection for you must +not be judged of by the number of my letters; and, though the one +lessens, the other, I assure you, does not. + +I have just now received your letter of the 25th past, N. S., and, by the +former post, one from Mr. Harte; with both which I am very well pleased: +with Mr. Harte's, for the good account which he gives me of you; with +yours, for the good account which you gave me of what I desired to be +informed of. Pray continue to give me further information of the form of +government of the country you are now in; which I hope you will know most +minutely before you leave it. The inequality of the town of Lausanne +seems to be very convenient in this cold weather; because going up hill +and down will keep you warm. You say there is a good deal of good +company; pray, are you got into it? Have you made acquaintances, and +with whom? Let me know some of their names. Do you learn German yet, to +read, write, and speak it? + +Yesterday, I saw a letter from Monsieur Bochat to a friend of mine; which +gave me the greatest pleasure that I have felt this great while; because +it gives so very good an account of you. Among other things which +Monsieur Bochat says to your advantage, he mentions the tender uneasiness +and concern that you showed during my illness, for which (though I will +say that you owe it to me) I am obliged to you: sentiments of gratitude +not being universal, nor even common. As your affection for me can only +proceed from your experience and conviction of my fondness for you (for +to talk of natural affection is talking nonsense), the only return I +desire is, what it is chiefly your interest to make me; I mean your +invariable practice of virtue, and your indefatigable pursuit of +knowledge. Adieu! and be persuaded that I shall love you extremely, +while you deserve it; but not one moment longer. + + + + +LETTER IV + +LONDON, December 9, O. S. 1746. + +DEAR BOY: Though I have very little time, and though I write by this post +to Mr. Harte, yet I cannot send a packet to Lausanne without a word or +two to yourself. I thank you for your letter of congratulation which you +wrote me, notwithstanding the pain it gave you. The accident that caused +the pain was, I presume, owing to that degree of giddiness, of which I +have sometimes taken the liberty to speak to you. The post I am now in, +though the object of most people's views and desires, was in some degree +inflicted upon me; and a certain concurrence cf circumstances obliged me +to engage in it. But I feel that to go through with it requires more +strength of body and mind than I have: were you three or four years +older; you should share in my trouble, and I would have taken you into my +office; but I hope you will employ these three or four years so well as +to make yourself capable of being of use to me, if I should continue in +it so long. The reading, writing, and speaking the modern languages +correctly; the knowledge of the laws of nations, and the particular +constitution of the empire; of history, geography, and chronology, are +absolutely necessary to this business, for which I have always intended +you. With these qualifications you may very possibly be my successor, +though not my immediate one. + +I hope you employ your whole time, which few people do; and that you put +every moment to, profit of some kind or other. I call company, walking, +riding, etc., employing one's time, and, upon proper occasions, very +usefully; but what I cannot forgive in anybody is sauntering, and doing +nothing at all, with a thing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable +when lost. + +Are you acquainted with any ladies at Lausanne? and do you behave +yourself with politeness enough to make them desire your company? + +I must finish: God bless you! + + + + +LETTER V + +LONDON, February 24, O. S. 1747 + +SIR: In order that we may, reciprocally, keep up our French, which, for +want of practice, we might forget; you will permit me to have the honor +of assuring you of my respects in that language: and be so good to answer +me in the same. Not that I am apprehensive of your forgetting to speak +French: since it is probable that two-thirds of our daily prattle is in +that language; and because, if you leave off writing French, you may +perhaps neglect that grammatical purity, and accurate orthography, which, +in other languages, you excel in; and really, even in French, it is +better to write well than ill. However, as this is a language very +proper for sprightly, gay subjects, I shall conform to that, and reserve +those which are serious for English. I shall not therefore mention to +you, at present, your Greek or Latin, your study of the Law of Nature, or +the Law of Nations, the Rights of People, or of Individuals; but rather +discuss the subject of your Amusements and Pleasures; for, to say the +truth, one must have some. May I be permitted to inquire of what nature +yours are? Do they consist in little commercial play at cards in good +company? are they little agreeable suppers, at which cheerfulness and +decency are united? or, do you pay court to some fair one, who requires +such attentions as may be of use in contributing to polish you? Make me +your confidant upon this subject; you shall not find a severe censor: on +the contrary, I wish to obtain the employment of minister to your +pleasures: I will point them out, and even contribute to them. + +Many young people adopt pleasures, for which they have not the least +taste, only because they are called by that name. They often mistake so +totally, as to imagine that debauchery is pleasure. You must allow that +drunkenness, which is equally destructive to body and mind, is a fine +pleasure. Gaming, that draws you into a thousand scrapes, leaves you +penniless, and gives you the air and manners of an outrageous madman, +is another most exquisite pleasure; is it not? As to running after +women, the consequences of that vice are only the loss of one's nose, +the total destruction of health, and, not unfrequently, the being run +through the body. + +These, you see, are all trifles; yet this is the catalogue of pleasures +of most of those young people, who never reflecting themselves, adopt, +indiscriminately, what others choose to call by the seducing name of +pleasure. I am thoroughly persuaded you will not fall into such errors; +and that, in the choice of your amusements, you will be directed by +reason, and a discerning taste. The true pleasures of a gentleman are +those of the table, but within the bound of moderation; good company, +that is to say, people of merit; moderate play, which amuses, without any +interested views; and sprightly gallant conversations with women of +fashion and sense. + +These are the real pleasures of a gentleman; which occasion neither +sickness, shame, nor repentance. Whatever exceeds them, becomes low +vice, brutal passion, debauchery, and insanity of, mind; all of which, +far from giving satisfaction, bring on dishonor and disgrace. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER VI + +LONDON, March 6, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: Whatever you do, will always affect me, very sensibly, one way +or another; and I am now most agreeably affected, by two letters, which I +have lately seen from Lausanne, upon your subject; the one from Madame +St. Germain, the other from Monsieur Pampigny: they both give so good an +account of you, that I thought myself obliged, in justice both to them +and, to you, to let you know it. Those who deserve a good character, +ought to have the satisfaction of knowing that they have it, both as a +reward and as an encouragement. They write, that you are not only +'decrotte,' but tolerably well-bred; and that the English crust of +awkward bashfulness, shyness, and roughness (of which, by the bye, you +had your share) is pretty well rubbed off. I am most heartily glad of +it; for, as I have often told you, those lesser talents, of an engaging, +insinuating manner, an easy good-breeding, a genteel behavior and +address, are of infinitely more advantage than they are generally thought +to be, especially here in England. Virtue and learning, like gold, have +their intrinsic value but if they are not polished, they certainly lose a +great deal of their luster; and even polished brass will pass upon more +people than rough gold. What a number of sins does the cheerful, easy +good-breeding of the French frequently cover? Many of them want common +sense, many more common learning; but in general, they make up so much by +their manner, for those defects, that frequently they pass undiscovered: +I have often said, and do think, that a Frenchman, who, with a fund of +virtue, learning and good sense, has the manners and good-breeding of his +country, is the perfection of human nature. This perfection you may, if +you please, and I hope you will, arrive at. You know what virtue is: you +may have it if you will; it is in every man's power; and miserable is the +man who has it not. Good sense God has given you. Learning you already +possess enough of, to have, in a reasonable time, all that a man need +have. With this, you are thrown out early into the world, where it will +be your own fault if you do not acquire all, the other accomplishments +necessary to complete and adorn your character. You will do well to make +your compliments to Madame St. Germain and Monsieur Pampigny; and tell +them, how sensible you are of their partiality to you, in the advantageous +testimonies which, you are informed, they have given of you here. + +Adieu. Continue to deserve such testimonies; and then you will not only +deserve, but enjoy my truest affection. + + + + +LETTER VII + +LONDON, March 27, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: Pleasure is the rock which most young people split upon: they +launch out with crowded sails in quest of it, but without a compass to +direct their course, or reason sufficient to steer the vessel; for want +of which, pain and shame, instead of pleasure, are the returns of their +voyage. Do not think that I mean to snarl at pleasure, like a Stoic, +or to preach against it, like a parson; no, I mean to point it out, +and recommend it to you, like an Epicurean: I wish you a great deal; +and my only view is to hinder you from mistaking it. + +The character which most young men first aim at, is that of a man of +pleasure; but they generally take it upon trust; and instead of +consulting their own taste and inclinations, they blindly adopt whatever +those with whom they chiefly converse, are pleased to call by the name of +pleasure; and a man of pleasure in the vulgar acceptation of that phrase, +means only, a beastly drunkard, an abandoned whoremaster, and a +profligate swearer and curser. As it may be of use to you. I am not +unwilling, though at the same time ashamed to own, that the vices of my +youth proceeded much more from my silly resolution of being, what I heard +called a man of pleasure, than from my own inclinations. I always +naturally hated drinking; and yet I have often drunk; with disgust at the +time, attended by great sickness the next day, only because I then +considered drinking as a necessary qualification for a fine gentleman, +and a man of pleasure. + +The same as to gaming. I did not want money, and consequently had no +occasion to play for it; but I thought play another necessary ingredient +in the composition of a man of pleasure, and accordingly I plunged into +it without desire, at first; sacrificed a thousand real pleasures to it; +and made myself solidly uneasy by it, for thirty the best years of my +life. + +I was even absurd enough, for a little while, to swear, by way of +adorning and completing the shining character which I affected; but this +folly I soon laid aside, upon finding berth the guilt and the indecency +of it. + +Thus seduced by fashion, and blindly adopting nominal pleasures, I lost +real ones; and my fortune impaired, and my constitution shattered, are, +I must confess, the just punishment of my errors. + +Take warning then by them: choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not +let them be imposed upon you. Follow nature and not fashion: weigh the +present enjoyment of your pleasures against the necessary consequences of +them, and then let your own common sense determine your choice. + +Were I to begin the world again, with the experience which I now have of +it, I would lead a life of real, not of imaginary pleasures. I would +enjoy the pleasures of the table, and of wine; but stop short of the +pains inseparably annexed to an excess of either. I would not, at twenty +years, be a preaching missionary of abstemiousness and sobriety; and I +should let other people do as they would, without formally and +sententiously rebuking them for it; but I would be most firmly resolved +not to destroy my own faculties and constitution; in complaisance to +those who have no regard to their own. I would play to give me pleasure, +but not to give me pain; that is, I would play for trifles, in mixed +companies, to amuse myself, and conform to custom; but I would take care +not to venture for sums; which, if I won, I should not be the better for; +but, if I lost, should be under a difficulty to pay: and when paid, would +oblige me to retrench in several other articles. Not to mention the +quarrels which deep play commonly occasions. + +I would pass some of my time in reading, and the rest in the company of +people of sense and learning, and chiefly those above me; and I would +frequent the mixed companies of men and women of fashion, which, though +often frivolous, yet they unbend and refresh the mind, not uselessly, +because they certainly polish and soften the manners. + +These would be my pleasures and amusements, if I were to live the last +thirty years over again; they are rational ones; and, moreover, I will +tell you, they are really the fashionable ones; for the others are not, +in truth, the pleasures of what I call people of fashion, but of those +who only call themselves so. Does good company care to have a man +reeling drunk among them? Or to see another tearing his hair, and +blaspheming, for having lost, at play, more than he is able to pay? +Or a whoremaster with half a nose, and crippled by coarse and infamous +debauchery? No; those who practice, and much more those who brag of +them, make no part of good company; and are most unwillingly, if ever, +admitted into it. A real man of fashion and pleasures observes decency: +at least neither borrows nor affects vices: and if he unfortunately has +any, he gratifies them with choice, delicacy, and secrecy. + +I have not mentioned the pleasures of the mind (which are the solid and +permanent ones); because they do not come under the head of what people +commonly call pleasures; which they seem to confine to the senses. The +pleasure of virtue, of charity, and of learning is true and lasting +pleasure; with which I hope you will be well and long acquainted. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER VIII + +LONDON, April 3, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: If I am rightly informed, I am now writing to a fine gentleman, +in a scarlet coat laced with gold, a brocade waistcoat, and all other +suitable ornaments. The natural partiality of every author for his own +works makes me very glad to hear that Mr. Harte has thought this last +edition of mine worth so fine a binding; and, as he has bound it in red, +and gilt it upon the back, I hope he will take care that it shall be +LETTERED too. A showish binding attracts the eyes, and engages the +attention of everybody; but with this difference, that women, and men who +are like women, mind the binding more than the book; whereas men of sense +and learning immediately examine the inside; and if they find that it +does not answer the finery on the outside, they throw it by with the +greater indignation and contempt. I hope that, when this edition of my +works shall be opened and read, the best judges will find connection, +consistency, solidity, and spirit in it. Mr. Harte may 'recensere' and +'emendare,' as much as he pleases; but it will be to little purpose, if +you do not cooperate with him. The work will be imperfect. + +I thank you for your last information of our success in the +Mediterranean, and you say very rightly that a secretary of state ought +to be well informed. I hope, therefore, you will take care that I shall. +You are near the busy scene in Italy; and I doubt not but that, by +frequently looking at the map, you have all that theatre of the war very +perfect in your mind. + +I like your account of the salt works; which shows that you gave some +attention while you were seeing them. But notwithstanding that, by your +account, the Swiss salt is (I dare say) very good, yet I am apt to +suspect that it falls a little short of the true Attic salt in which +there was a peculiar quickness and delicacy. That same Attic salt +seasoned almost all Greece, except Boeotia, and a great deal of it was +exported afterward to Rome, where it was counterfeited by a composition +called Urbanity, which in some time was brought to very near the +perfection of the original Attic salt. The more you are powdered with +these two kinds of salt, the better you will keep, and the more you will +be relished. + +Adieu! My compliments to Mr. Harte and Mr. Eliot. + + + + +LETTER IX + +LONDON, April 14, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: If you feel half the pleasure from the consciousness of doing +well, that I do from the informations I have lately received in your +favor from Mr. Harte, I shall have little occasion to exhort or admonish +you any more to do what your own satisfaction and self love will +sufficiently prompt you to. Mr. Harte tells me that you attend, that you +apply to your studies; and that beginning to understand, you begin to +taste them. This pleasure will increase, and keep pace with your +attention; so that the balance will be greatly to your advantage. You +may remember, that I have always earnestly recommended to you, to do what +you are about, be that what it will; and to do nothing else at the same +time. Do not imagine that I mean by this, that you should attend to and +plod at your book all day long; far from it; I mean that you should have +your pleasures too; and that you should attend to them for the time; as +much as to your studies; and, if you do not attend equally to both, you +will neither have improvement nor satisfaction from either. A man is fit +for neither business nor pleasure, who either cannot, or does not, +command and direct his attention to the present object, and, in some +degree, banish for that time all other objects from his thoughts. If at +a ball, a supper, or a party of pleasure, a man were to be solving, +in his own mind, a problem in Euclid, he would be a very bad companion, +and make a very poor figure in that company; or if, in studying a problem +in his closet, he were to think of a minuet, I am apt to believe that he +would make a very poor mathematician. There is time enough for +everything, in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once; +but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a +time. The Pensionary de Witt, who was torn to pieces in the year 1672, +did the whole business of the Republic, and yet had time left to go to +assemblies in the evening, and sup in company. Being asked how he could +possibly find time to go through so much business, and yet amuse himself +in the evenings as he did, he answered, there was nothing so easy; for +that it was only doing one thing at a time, and never putting off +anything till to-morrow that could be done to-day. This steady and +undissipated attention to one object is a sure mark of a superior genius; +as hurry, bustle, and agitation are the never-failing symptoms of a weak +and frivolous mind. When you read Horace, attend to the justness of his +thoughts, the happiness of his diction, and the beauty of his poetry; and +do not think of Puffendorf de Homine el Cive; and, when you are reading +Puffendorf, do not think of Madame de St. Germain; nor of Puffendorf, +when you are talking to Madame de St. Germain. + +Mr. Harte informs me, that he has reimbursed you of part of your losses +in Germany; and I consent to his reimbursing you of the whole, now that I +know you deserve it. I shall grudge you nothing, nor shall you want +anything that you desire, provided you deserve it; so that you see, it is +in your own power to have whatever you please. + +There is a little book which you read here with Monsieur Codere entitled, +'Maniere de bien penser dans les Ouvrages d'Esprit,' written by Pyre +Bonhours. I wish you would read this book again at your leisure hours, +for it will not only divert you, but likewise form your taste, and give +you a just manner of thinking. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER X + +LONDON, June 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I was extremely pleased with the account which you gave me in +your last, of the civilities that you received in your Swiss progress; +and I have written, by this post, to Mr. Burnaby, and to the 'Avoyer,' +to thank them for their parts. If the attention you met with pleased +you, as I dare say it did, you will, I hope, draw this general conclusion +from it, that attention and civility please all those to whom they are +paid; and that you will please others in proportion as you are attentive +and civil to them. + +Bishop Burnet has wrote his travels through Switzerland; and Mr. Stanyan, +from a long residence there, has written the best account, yet extant, +of the Thirteen Cantons; but those books will be read no more, I presume, +after you shall have published your account of that country. I hope you +will favor me with one of the first copies. To be serious; though I do +not desire that you should immediately turn author, and oblige the world +with your travels; yet, wherever you go, I would have you as curious and +inquisitive as if you did intend to write them. I do not mean that you +should give yourself so much trouble, to know the number of houses, +inhabitants, signposts, and tombstones, of every town that you go +through; but that you should inform yourself, as well as your stay will +permit you, whether the town is free, or to whom it belongs, or in what +manner: whether it has any peculiar privileges or customs; what trade or +manufactures; and such other particulars as people of sense desire to +know. And there would be no manner of harm if you were to take +memorandums of such things in a paper book to help your memory. The only +way of knowing all these things is to keep the best company, who can best +inform you of them. I am just now called away; so good night. + + + + +LETTER XI + +LONDON, July 20, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: In your Mamma's letter, which goes here inclosed, you will +find one from my sister, to thank you for the Arquebusade water which you +sent her; and which she takes very kindly. She would not show me her +letter to you; but told me that it contained good wishes and good advice; +and, as I know she will show your letter in answer to hers, I send you +here inclosed the draught of the letter which I would have you write to +her. I hope you will not be offended at my offering you my assistance +upon this occasion; because, I presume, that as yet, you are not much +used to write to ladies. 'A propos' of letter-writing, the best models +that you can form yourself upon are, Cicero, Cardinal d'Ossat, Madame +Sevigne, and Comte Bussy Rebutin. Cicero's Epistles to Atticus, and to +his familiar friends, are the best examples that you can imitate, in the +friendly and the familiar style. The simplicity and the clearness of +Cardinal d'Ossat's letters show how letters of business ought to be +written; no affected turns, no attempts at wit, obscure or perplex his +matter; which is always plainly and clearly stated, as business always +should be. For gay and amusing letters, for 'enjouement and badinage,' +there are none that equal Comte Bussy's and Madame Sevigne's. They are +so natural, that they seem to be the extempore conversations of two +people of wit, rather, than letters which are commonly studied, though +they ought not to be so. I would advise you to let that book be one in +your itinerant library; it will both amuse and inform you. + +I have not time to add any more now; so good night. + + + + +LETTER XII + +LONDON, July 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: It is now four posts since I have received any letter, either +from you or from Mr. Harte. I impute this to the rapidity of your +travels through Switzerland; which I suppose are by this time finished. + +You will have found by my late letters, both to you and Mr. Harte, that +you are to be at Leipsig by next Michaelmas; where you will be lodged in +the house of Professor Mascow, and boarded in the neighborhood of it, +with some young men of fashion. The professor will read you lectures +upon 'Grotius de Jure Belli et Pacis,' the 'Institutes of Justinian' and +the 'Jus Publicum Imperii;' which I expect that you shall not only hear, +but attend to, and retain. I also expect that you make yourself +perfectly master of the German language; which you may very soon do +there, if you please. I give you fair warning, that at Leipsig I shall +have an hundred invisible spies about you; and shall be exactly informed +of everything that you do, and of almost everything that you say. I hope +that, in consequence of those minute informations, I may be able to say +of you, what Velleius Paterculus says of Scipio; that in his whole life, +'nihil non laudandum aut dixit, aut fecit, aut sensit.' There is a great +deal of good company in Leipsig, which I would have you frequent in the +evenings, when the studies of the day are over. There is likewise a kind +of court kept there, by a Duchess Dowager of Courland; at which you +should get introduced. The King of Poland and his Court go likewise to +the fair at Leipsig twice a year; and I shall write to Sir Charles +Williams, the king's minister there, to have you presented, and +introduced into good company. But I must remind you, at the same time, +that it will be to a very little purpose for you to frequent good +company, if you do not conform to, and learn their manners; if you are +not attentive to please, and well bred, with the easiness of a man of +fashion. As you must attend to your manners, so you must not neglect +your person; but take care to be very clean, well dressed, and genteel; +to have no disagreeable attitudes, nor awkward tricks; which many people +use themselves to, and then cannot leave them off. Do you take care to +keep your teeth very clean, by washing them constantly every morning, and +after every meal? This is very necessary, both to preserve your teeth a +great while, and to save you a great deal of pain. Mine have plagued me +long, and are now falling out, merely from want of care when I was your +age. Do you dress well, and not too well? Do you consider your air and +manner of presenting yourself enough, and not too much? Neither +negligent nor stiff? All these things deserve a degree of care, +a second-rate attention; they give an additional lustre to real merit. +My Lord Bacon says, that a pleasing figure is a perpetual letter of +recommendation. It is certainly an agreeable forerunner of merit, and +smoothes the way for it. + +Remember that I shall see you at Hanover next summer, and shall expect +perfection; which if I do not meet with, or at least something very near +it, you and I shall, not be very well together. I shall dissect and +analyze you with a microscope; so that I shall discover the least speck +or blemish. This is fair warning; therefore take your measures +accordingly. Yours. + + + + +LETTER XIII + + +LONDON, August 21, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: I reckon that this letter has but a bare chance of finding you +at Lausanne; but I was resolved to risk it, as it is the last that I +shall write to you till you are settled at Leipsig. I sent you by the +last post, under cover to Mr. Harte, a letter of recommendation to one of +the first people at Munich; which you will take care to present to him in +the politest manner; he will certainly have you presented to the +electoral family; and I hope you will go through that ceremony with great +respect, good breeding, and ease. As this is the first court that ever +you will have been at, take care to inform yourself if there be any +particular, customs or forms to be observed, that you may not commit any +mistake. At Vienna men always make courtesies, instead of bows, to the +emperor; in France nobody bows at all to the king, nor kisses his hand; +but in Spain and England, bows are made, and hands are kissed. Thus +every court has some peculiarity or other, of which those who go to them +ought previously to inform themselves, to avoid blunders and +awkwardnesses. + +I have not time to say any more now, than to wish you good journey to +Leipsig; and great attention, both there and in going there. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XIV + +LONDON, September 21, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I received, by the last post, your letter of the 8th, N. S., +and I do not wonder that you are surprised at the credulity and +superstition of the Papists at Einsiedlen, and at their absurd stories of +their chapel. But remember, at the same time, that errors and mistakes, +however gross, in matters of opinion, if they are sincere, are to be +pitied, but not punished nor laughed at. The blindness of the +understanding is as much to be pitied as the blindness of the eye; +and there is neither jest nor guilt in a man's losing his way in either +case. Charity bids us set him right if we can, by arguments and +persuasions; but charity, at the same time, forbids, either to punish or +ridicule his misfortune. Every man's reason is, and must be, his guide; +and I may as well expect that every man should be of my size and +complexion, as that he should reason just as I do. Every man seeks for +truth; but God only knows who has found it. It is, therefore, as unjust +to persecute, as it is absurd to ridicule, people for those several +opinions, which they cannot help entertaining upon the conviction of +their reason. It is the man who tells, or who acts a lie, that is +guilty, and not he who honestly and sincerely believes the lie. +I really know nothing more criminal, more mean, and more ridiculous than +lying. It is the production either of malice, cowardice, or vanity; +and generally misses of its aim in every one of these views; for lies are +always detected sooner or later. If I tell a malicious lie, in order to +affect any man's fortune or character, I may indeed injure him for some +time; but I shall be sure to be the greatest sufferer myself at last; +for as soon as ever I am detected (and detected I most certainly shall +be), I am blasted for the infamous attempt; and whatever is said +afterward, to the disadvantage of that person, however true, passes for +calumny. If I lie, or equivocate (for it is the same thing), in order to +excuse myself for something that I have said or done, and to avoid the +danger and the shame that I apprehend from it, I discover at once my fear +as well as my falsehood; and only increase, instead of avoiding, the +danger and the shame; I show myself to be the lowest and the meanest of +mankind, and am sure to be always treated as such. Fear, instead of +avoiding, invites danger; for concealed cowards will insult known ones. +If one has had the misfortune to be in the wrong, there is something +noble in frankly owning it; it is the only way of atoning for it, and the +only way of being forgiven. Equivocating, evading, shuffling, in order +to remove a present danger or inconveniency, is something so mean, and +betrays so much fear, that whoever practices them always deserves to be, +and often will be kicked. There is another sort of lies, inoffensive +enough in themselves, but wonderfully ridiculous; I mean those lies which +a mistaken vanity suggests, that defeat the very end for which they are +calculated, and terminate in the humiliation and confusion of their +author, who is sure to be detected. These are chiefly narrative and +historical lies, all intended to do infinite honor to their author. +He is always the hero of his own romances; he has been in dangers from +which nobody but himself ever escaped; he has seen with his own eyes, +whatever other people have heard or read of: he has had more 'bonnes +fortunes' than ever he knew women; and has ridden more miles post in one +day, than ever courier went in two. He is soon discovered, and as soon +becomes the object of universal contempt and ridicule. Remember, then, +as long as you live, that nothing but strict truth can carry you through +the world, with either your conscience or your honor unwounded. It is +not only your duty, but your interest; as a proof of which you may always +observe, that the greatest fools are the greatest liars. For my own +part, I judge of every man's truth by his degree of understanding. + +This letter will, I suppose, find you at Leipsig; where I expect and +require from you attention and accuracy, in both which you have hitherto +been very deficient. Remember that I shall see you in the summer; shall +examine you most narrowly; and will never forget nor forgive those +faults, which it has been in your own power to prevent or cure; and be +assured that I have many eyes upon you at Leipsig, besides Mr. Harte's. +Adieu! + + + + +LETTER XV + +LONDON, October 2, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: By your letter of the 18th past, N. S., I find that you are a +tolerably good landscape painter, and can present the several views of +Switzerland to the curious. I am very glad of it, as it is a proof of +some attention; but I hope you will be as good a portrait painter, which +is a much more noble science. By portraits, you will easily judge, that +I do not mean the outlines and the coloring of the human figure; but the +inside of the heart and mind of man. This science requires more +attention, observation, and penetration, than the other; as indeed it is +infinitely more useful. Search, therefore, with the greatest care, into +the characters of those whom you converse with; endeavor to discover +their predominant passions, their prevailing weaknesses, their vanities, +their follies, and their humors, with all the right and wrong, wise and +silly springs of human actions, which make such inconsistent and +whimsical beings of us rational creatures. A moderate share of +penetration, with great attention, will infallibly make these necessary +discoveries. This is the true knowledge of the world; and the world is +a country which nobody ever yet knew by description; one must travel +through it one's self to be acquainted with it. The scholar, who in the +dust of his closet talks or writes of the world, knows no more of it, +than that orator did of war, who judiciously endeavored to instruct +Hannibal in it. Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world +in. There alone all kinds of characters resort, and human nature is seen +in all the various shapes and modes, which education, custom, and habit +give it; whereas, in all other places, one local mode generally prevails, +and producing a seeming though not a real sameness of character. For +example, one general mode distinguishes an university, another a trading +town, a third a seaport town, and so on; whereas, at a capital, where the +Prince or the Supreme Power resides, some of all these various modes are +to be seen and seen in action too, exerting their utmost skill in pursuit +of their several objects. Human nature is the same all over the world; +but its operations are so varied by education and habit, that one must +see it in all its dresses in order to be intimately acquainted with it. +The passion of ambition, for instance, is the same in a courtier, + a soldier, or an ecclesiastic; but, from their different educations and +habits, they will take very different methods to gratify it. Civility, +which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is essentially +the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it is called, which is +the manner of exerting that disposition, is different in almost every +country, and merely local; and every man of sense imitates and conforms +to that local good-breeding of the place which he is at. A conformity +and flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world; that +is, with regard to all things which are not wrong in themselves. The +'versatile ingenium' is the most useful of all. It can turn itself +instantly from one object to another, assuming the proper manner for +each. It can be serious with the grave, cheerful with the gay, and +trifling with the frivolous. Endeavor by all means, to acquire this +talent, for it is a very great one. + +As I hardly know anything more useful, than to see, from time to time, +pictures of one's self drawn by different hands, I send you here a sketch +of yourself, drawn at Lausanne, while you were there, and sent over here +by a person who little thought that it would ever fall into my hands: and +indeed it was by the greatest accident in the world that it did. + + + + +LETTER XVI + +LONDON, October 9, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: People of your age have, commonly, an unguarded frankness about +them; which makes them the easy prey and bubbles of the artful and the +experienced; they look upon every knave or fool, who tells them that he +is their friend, to be really so; and pay that profession of simulated +friendship, with an indiscreet and unbounded confidence, always to their +loss, often to their ruin. Beware, therefore, now that you are coming +into the world, of these preferred friendships. Receive them with great +civility, but with great incredulity too; and pay them with compliments, +but not with confidence. Do not let your vanity and self-love make you +suppose that people become your friends at first sight, or even upon a +short acquaintance. Real friendship is a slow grower and never thrives +unless engrafted upon a stock of known and reciprocal merit. There is +another kind of nominal friendship among young people, which is warm for +the time, but by good luck, of short duration. This friendship is +hastily produced, by their being accidentally thrown together, and +pursuing the course of riot and debauchery. A fine friendship, truly; +and well cemented by drunkenness and lewdness. It should rather be +called a conspiracy against morals and good manners, and be punished as +such by the civil magistrate. However, they have the impudence and folly +to call this confederacy a friendship. They lend one another money, +for bad purposes; they engage in quarrels, offensive and defensive for +their accomplices; they tell one another all they know, and often more +too, when, of a sudden, some accident disperses them, and they think no +more of each other, unless it be to betray and laugh, at their imprudent +confidence. Remember to make a great difference between companions and +friends; for a very complaisant and agreeable companion may, and often +does, prove a very improper and a very dangerous friend. People will, +in a great degree, and not without reason, form their opinion of you, +upon that which they have of your friends; and there is a Spanish +proverb, which says very justly, TELL ME WHO YOU LIVE WITH AND I WILL +TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE. One may fairly suppose, that the man who makes a +knave or a fool his friend, has something very bad to do or to conceal. +But, at the same time that you carefully decline the friendship of knaves +and fools, if it can be called friendship, there is no occasion to make +either of them your enemies, wantonly and unprovoked; for they are +numerous bodies: and I, would rather choose a secure neutrality, than +alliance, or war with either of them. You may be a declared enemy to +their vices and follies, without being marked out by them as a personal +one. Their enmity is the next dangerous thing to their friendship. +Have a real reserve with almost everybody; and have a seeming reserve +with almost nobody; for it is very disagreeable to seem reserved, and +very dangerous not to be so. Few people find the true medium; many are +ridiculously mysterious and reserved upon trifles; and many imprudently +communicative of all they know. + +The next thing to the choice of your friends, is the choice of your +company. Endeavor, as much as you can, to keep company with people above +you: there you rise, as much as you sink with people below you; for (as I +have mentioned before) you are whatever the company you keep is. Do not +mistake, when I say company above you, and think that I mean with regard +to, their birth: that is the least consideration; but I mean with regard +to their merit, and the light in which the world considers them. + +There are two sorts of good company; one, which is called the beau monde, +and consists of the people who have the lead in courts, and in the gay +parts of life; the other consists of those who are distinguished by some +peculiar merit, or who excel in some particular and valuable art or +science. For my own part, I used to think myself in company as, much +above me, when I was with Mr. Addison and Mr. Pope, as if I had been with +all the princes in Europe. What I mean by low company, which should by +all means be avoided, is the company of those, who, absolutely +insignificant and contemptible in themselves, think they are honored by +being in your company; and who flatter every vice and every folly you +have, in order to engage you to converse with them. The pride of being +the first of the company is but too common; but it is very silly, and +very prejudicial. Nothing in the world lets down a character quicker +than that wrong turn. + +You may possibly ask me, whether a man has it always in his power to get +the best company? and how? I say, Yes, he has, by deserving it; +providing he is but in circumstances which enable him to appear upon the +footing of a gentleman. Merit and good-breeding will make their way +everywhere. Knowledge will introduce him, and good-breeding will endear +him to the best companies: for, as I have often told you, politeness and +good-breeding are absolutely necessary to adorn any, or all other good +qualities or talents. Without them, no knowledge, no perfection +whatever, is seen in its best light. The scholar, without good-breeding, +is a pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every +man disagreeable. + +I long to hear, from my several correspondents at Leipsig, of your +arrival there, and what impression you make on them at first; for I have +Arguses, with an hundred eyes each, who will watch you narrowly, and +relate to me faithfully. My accounts will certainly be true; it depends +upon you, entirely, of what kind they shall be. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XVII + +LONDON, October 16, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess; but a +very difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and +your own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. +Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of pleasing. +Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably the same thing +in you will please others. If you are pleased with the complaisance and +attention of others to your humors, your tastes, or your weaknesses, +depend upon it the same complaisance and attention, on your part to +theirs, will equally please them. Take the tone of the company that you +are in, and do not pretend to give it; be serious, gay, or even trifling, +as you find the present humor of the company; this is an attention due +from every individual to the majority. Do not tell stories in company; +there is nothing more tedious and disagreeable; if by chance you know a +very short story, and exceedingly applicable to the present subject of +conversation, tell it in as few words as possible; and even then, throw +out that you do not love to tell stories; but that the shortness of it +tempted you. Of all things, banish the egotism out of your conversation, +and never think of entertaining people with your own personal concerns, +or private, affairs; though they are interesting to you, they are tedious +and impertinent to everybody else; besides that, one cannot keep one's +own private affairs too secret. Whatever you think your own excellencies +may be, do not affectedly display them in company; nor labor, as many +people do, to give that turn to the conversation, which may supply you +with an opportunity of exhibiting them. If they are real, they will +infallibly be discovered, without your pointing them out yourself, and +with much more advantage. Never maintain an argument with heat and +clamor, though you think or know yourself to be in the right: but give +your opinion modestly and coolly, which is the only way to convince; +and, if that does not do, try to change the conversation, by saying, +with good humor, "We shall hardly convince one another, nor is it +necessary that we should, so let us talk of something else." + +Remember that there is a local propriety to be observed in all companies; +and that what is extremely proper in one company, may be, and often is, +highly improper in another. + +The jokes, the 'bonmots,' the little adventures, which may do very well +in one company, will seem flat and tedious, when related in another. +The particular characters, the habits, the cant of one company, may give +merit to a word, or a gesture, which would have none at all if divested +of those accidental circumstances. Here people very commonly err; and +fond of something that has entertained them in one company, and in +certain circumstances, repeat it with emphasis in another, where it is +either insipid, or, it may be, offensive, by being ill-timed or +misplaced. Nay, they often do it with this silly preamble; "I will tell +you an excellent thing"; or, "I will tell you the best thing in the +world." This raises expectations, which, when absolutely disappointed, +make the relater of this excellent thing look, very deservedly, like a +fool. + +If you would particularly gain the affection and friendship of particular +people, whether men or women, endeavor to find out the predominant +excellency, if they have one, and their prevailing weakness, which +everybody has; and do justice to the one, and something more than justice +to the other. Men have various objects in which they may excel, or at +least would be thought to excel; and, though they love to hear justice +done to them, where they know that they excel, yet they are most and best +flattered upon those points where they wish to excel, and yet are +doubtful whether they do or not. As, for example, Cardinal Richelieu, +who was undoubtedly the ablest statesman of his time, or perhaps of any +other, had the idle vanity of being thought the best poet too; he envied +the great Corneille his reputation, and ordered a criticism to be written +upon the "Cid." Those, therefore, who flattered skillfully, said little +to him of his abilities in state affairs, or at least but 'en passant,' +and as it might naturally occur. But the incense which they gave him, +the smoke of which they knew would turn his head in their favor, was as a +'bel esprit' and a poet. Why? Because he was sure of one excellency, +and distrustful as to the other. You will easily discover every man's +prevailing vanity, by observing his favorite topic of conversation; for +every man talks most of what he has most a mind to be thought to excel +in. Touch him but there, and you touch him to the quick. The late Sir +Robert Walpole (who was certainly an able man) was little open to +flattery upon that head; for he was in no doubt himself about it; but his +prevailing weakness was, to be thought to have a polite and happy turn to +gallantry; of which he had undoubtedly less than any man living: it was +his favorite and frequent subject of conversation: which proved, to those +who had any penetration, that it was his prevailing weakness. And they +applied to it with success. + +Women have, in general, but one object, which is their beauty; upon +which, scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow. Nature has +hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible to flattery upon her +person; if her face is so shocking, that she must in some degree, be +conscious of it, her figure and her air, she trusts, make ample amends +for it. If her figure is deformed, her face, she thinks, counterbalances +it. If they are both bad, she comforts herself that she has graces; a +certain manner; a 'je ne sais quoi,' still more engaging than beauty. +This truth is evident, from the studied and elaborate dress of the +ugliest women in the world. An undoubted,, uncontested, conscious +beauty, is of all women, the least sensible of flattery upon that head; +she knows that it is her due, and is therefore obliged to nobody for +giving it her. She must be flattered upon her understanding; which, +though she may possibly not doubt of herself, yet she suspects that men +may distrust. + +Do not mistake me, and think that I mean to recommend to you abject and +criminal flattery: no; flatter nobody's vices or crimes: on the contrary, +abhor and discourage them. But there is no living in the world without a +complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses, and innocent, though +ridiculous vanities. If a man has a mind to be thought wiser, and a +woman handsomer than they really are, their error is a comfortable one to +themselves, and an innocent one with regard to other people; and I would +rather make them my friends, by indulging them in it, than my enemies, +by endeavoring (and that to no purpose) to undeceive them. + +There are little attentions likewise, which are infinitely engaging, +and which sensibly affect that degree of pride and self-love, which is +inseparable from human nature; as they are unquestionable proofs of the +regard and consideration which we have for the person to whom we pay +them. As, for example, to observe the little habits, the likings, the +antipathies, and the tastes of those whom we would gain; and then take +care to provide them with the one, and to secure them from the other; +giving them, genteelly, to understand, that you had observed that they +liked such a dish, or such a room; for which reason you had prepared it: +or, on the contrary, that having observed they had an aversion to such a +dish, a dislike to such a person, etc., you had taken care to avoid +presenting them. Such attention to such trifles flatters self-love much +more than greater things, as it makes people think themselves almost the +only objects of your thoughts and care. + +These are some of the arcana necessary for your initiation in the great +society of the world. I wish I had known them better at your age; I have +paid the price of three-and-fifty years for them, and shall not grudge +it, if you reap the advantage. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XVIII + +LONDON, October 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I am very well pleased with your 'Itinerarium,' which you sent +me from Ratisbon. It shows me that you observe and inquire as you go, +which is the true end of traveling. Those who travel heedlessly from +place to place, observing only their distance from each other, and +attending only to their accommodation at the inn at night, set out fools, +and will certainly return so. Those who only mind the raree-shows of the +places which they go through, such as steeples, clocks, town-houses, +etc., get so little by their travels, that they might as well stay at +home. But those who observe, and inquire into the situations, the +strength, the weakness, the trade, the manufactures, the government, and +constitution of every place they go to; who frequent the best companies, +and attend to their several manners and characters; those alone travel +with advantage; and as they set out wise, return wiser. + +I would advise you always to get the shortest description or history of +every place where you make any stay; and such a book, however imperfect, +will still suggest to you matter for inquiry; upon which you may get +better informations from the people of the place. For example; while you +are at Leipsig, get some short account (and to be sure there are many +such) of the present state of the town, with regard to its magistrates, +its police, its privileges, etc., and then inform yourself more minutely +upon all those heads in, conversation with the most intelligent people. +Do the same thing afterward with regard to the Electorate of Saxony: you +will find a short history of it in Puffendorf's Introduction, which will +give you a general idea of it, and point out to you the proper objects of +a more minute inquiry. In short, be curious, attentive, inquisitive, as +to everything; listlessness and indolence are always blameable, but, at +your age, they are unpardonable. Consider how precious, and how +important for all the rest of your life, are your moments for these next +three or four years; and do not lose one of them. Do not think I mean +that you should study all day long; I am far from advising or desiring +it: but I desire that you would be doing something or other all day long; +and not neglect half hours and quarters of hours, which, at the, year's +end, amount to a great sum. For instance, there are many short intervals +during the day, between studies and pleasures: instead of sitting idle +and yawning, in those intervals, take up any book, though ever so +trifling a one, even down to a jest-book; it is still better than doing +nothing. + +Nor do I call pleasures idleness, or time lost, provided they are the +pleasures of a rational being; on the contrary, a certain portion of your +time, employed in those pleasures, is very usefully employed. Such are +public spectacles, assemblies of good company, cheerful suppers, and even +balls; but then, these require attention, or else your time is quite +lost. + +There are a great many people, who think themselves employed all day, +and who, if they were to cast up their accounts at night, would find +that they had done just nothing. They have read two or three hours +mechanically, without attending to what they read, and consequently +without either retaining it, or reasoning upon it. From thence they +saunter into company, without taking any part in it, and without +observing the characters of the persons, or the subjects of the +conversation; but are either thinking of some trifle, foreign to the +present purpose, or often not thinking at all; which silly and idle +suspension of thought they would dignify with the name of ABSENCE and +DISTRACTION. They go afterward, it may be, to the play, where they gape +at the company and the lights; but without minding the very thing they +went to, the play. + +Pray do you be as attentive to your pleasures as to your studies. In +the latter, observe and reflect upon all you read; and, in the former, +be watchful and attentive to all that you see and. hear; and never have +it to say, as a thousand fools do, of things that were said and done +before their faces, that, truly, they did not mind them, because they +were thinking of something else. Why were they thinking of something +else? and if they were, why did they come there? The truth is, that the +fools were thinking of nothing. Remember the 'hoc age,' do what you are +about, be what it will; it is either worth doing well, or not at all. +Wherever you are, have (as the low vulgar expression is) your ears and +your eyes about you. Listen to everything that is said, and see +everything that is done. Observe the looks and countenances of those who +speak, which is often a surer way of discovering the truth than from what +they say. But then keep all those observations to yourself, for your own +private use, and rarely communicate them to others. Observe, without +being thought an observer, for otherwise people will be upon their guard +before you. + +Consider seriously, and follow carefully, I beseech you, my dear child, +the advice which from time to time I have given, and shall continue to +give you; it is at once the result of my long experience, and the effect +of my tenderness for you. I can have no interest in it but yours. +You are not yet capable of wishing yourself half so well as I wish you; +follow therefore, for a time at least, implicitly, advice which you +cannot suspect, though possibly you may not yet see the particular +advantages of it; but you will one day feel them. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XIX + +LONDON, November 6, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: Three mails are now due from Holland, so that I have no letter +from you to acknowledge; I write to you, therefore, now, as usual, by way +of flapper, to put you in mind of yourself. Doctor Swift, in his account +of the island of Laputa, describes some philosophers there who were so +wrapped up and absorbed in their abstruse speculations, that they would +have forgotten all the common and necessary duties of life, if they had +not been reminded of them by persons who flapped them, whenever they +observed them continue too long in any of those learned trances. I do +not indeed suspect you of being absorbed in abstruse speculations; but, +with great submission to you, may I not suspect that levity, inattention, +and too little thinking, require a flapper, as well as too deep thinking? +If my letters should happen to get to you when you are sitting by the +fire and doing nothing, or when you are gaping at the window, may they +not be very proper flaps, to put you in mind that you might employ your +time much better? I knew once a very covetous, sordid fellow, who used +frequently to say, "Take care of the pence; for the pounds will take care +of themselves." This was a just and sensible reflection in a miser. +I recommend to you to take care of the minutes; for hours will take care +of themselves. I am very sure, that many people lose two or three hours +every day, by not taking care of the minutes. Never think any portion of +time whatsoever too short to be employed; something or other may always +be done in it. + +While you are in Germany, let all your historical studies be relative to +Germany; not only the general history of the empire as a collective body; +but the respective electorates, principalities, and towns; and also the +genealogy of the most considerable families. A genealogy is no trifle in +Germany; and they would rather prove their two-and-thirty quarters, than +two-and-thirty cardinal virtues, if there were so many. They are not of +Ulysses' opinion, who says very truly, + + ----Genus et proavos, et qua non fecimus ipsi; + Vix ea nostra voco. + + Good night. + + + + + +LETTER XX + +LONDON, November 24, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: As often as I write to you (and that you know is pretty often), +so often I am in doubt whether it is to any purpose, and whether it is +not labor and paper lost. This entirely depends upon the degree of +reason and reflection which you are master of, or think proper to exert. +If you give yourself time to think, and have sense enough to think right, +two reflections must necessarily occur to you; the one is, that I have a +great deal of experience, and that you have none: the other is, that I am +the only man living who cannot have, directly or indirectly, any interest +concerning you, but your own. From which two undeniable principles, the +obvious and necessary conclusion is, that you ought, for your own sake, +to attend to and follow my advice. + +If, by the application which I recommend to you, you acquire great +knowledge, you alone are the gainer; I pay for it. If you should deserve +either a good or a bad character, mine will be exactly what it is now, +and will neither be the better in the first case, nor worse in the +latter. You alone will be the gainer or the loser. + +Whatever your pleasures may be, I neither can nor shall envy you them, +as old people are sometimes suspected by young people to do; and I shall +only lament, if they should prove such as are unbecoming a man of honor, +or below a man of sense. But you will be the real sufferer, if they are +such. As therefore, it is plain that I can have no other motive than +that of affection in whatever I say to you, you ought to look upon me as +your best, and, for some years to come, your only friend. + +True friendship requires certain proportions of age and manners, and can +never subsist where they are extremely different, except in the relations +of parent and child, where affection on one side, and regard on the +other, make up the difference. The friendship which you may contract +with people of your own age may be sincere, may be warm; but must be, +for some time, reciprocally unprofitable, as there can be no experience +on either side. The young leading the young, is like the blind leading +the blind; (they will both fall into the ditch.) The only sure guide is, +he who has often gone the road which you want to go. Let me be that +guide; who have gone all roads, and who can consequently point out to you +the best. If you ask me why I went any of the bad roads myself, I will +answer you very truly, That it was for want of a good guide: ill example +invited me one way, and a good guide was wanting to show me a better. +But if anybody, capable of advising me, had taken the same pains with me, +which I have taken, and will continue to take with you, I should have +avoided many follies and inconveniences, which undirected youth run me +into. My father was neither desirous nor able to advise me; which is +what, I hope, you cannot say of yours. You see that I make use, only of +the word advice; because I would much rather have the assent of your +reason to my advice, than the submission of your will to my, authority. +This, I persuade myself, will happen, from that degree of sense which I +think you have; and therefore I will go on advising, and with hopes of +success. + +You are now settled for some time at Leipsig; the principal object of +your stay there is the knowledge of books and sciences; which if you do +not, by attention and application, make yourself master of while you are +there, you will be ignorant of them all the rest of your life; and, take +my word for it, a life of ignorance is not only a very contemptible, but +a very tiresome one. Redouble your attention, then, to Mr. Harte, in +your private studies of the 'Literae Humaniores,' especially Greek. +State your difficulties, whenever you have any; and do not suppress them, +either from mistaken shame, lazy indifference, or in order to have done +the sooner. Do the same when you are at lectures with Professor Mascow, +or any other professor; let nothing pass till you are sure that you +understand it thoroughly; and accustom yourself to write down the capital +points of what you learn. When you have thus usefully employed your +mornings, you may, with a safe conscience, divert yourself in the +evenings, and make those evenings very useful too, by passing them in +good company, and, by observation and attention, learning as much of the +world as Leipsig can teach you. You will observe and imitate the manners +of the people of the best fashion there; not that they are (it may be) +the best manners in the world; but because they are the best manners of +the place where you are, to which a man of sense always conforms. The +nature of things (as I have often told you) is always and everywhere the +same; but the modes of them vary more or less, in every country; and an +easy and genteel conformity to them, or rather the assuming of them at +proper times, and in proper places, is what particularly constitutes a +man of the world, and a well-bred man. + +Here is advice enough, I think, and too much, it may be, you will think, +for one letter; if you follow it, you will get knowledge, character, and +pleasure by it; if you do not, I only lose 'operam et oleum,' which, in +all events, I do not grudge you. + +I send you, by a person who sets out this day for Leipsig, a small packet +from your Mamma, containing some valuable things which you left behind, +to which I have added, by way of new-year's gift, a very pretty tooth- +pick case; and, by the way, pray take great care of your teeth, and keep +them extremely clean. I have likewise sent you the Greek roots, lately +translated into English from the French of the Port Royal. Inform +yourself what the Port Royal is. To conclude with a quibble: I hope you +will not only feed upon these Greek roots, but likewise digest them +perfectly. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XXI + +LONDON, December 15, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR Boy: There is nothing which I more wish that you should know, and +which fewer people do know, than the true use and value of time. It is +in everybody's mouth; but in few people's practice. Every fool, who +slatterns away his whole time in nothings, utters, however, some trite +commonplace sentence, of which there are millions, to prove, at once, the +value and the fleetness of time. The sun-dials, likewise all over +Europe, have some ingenious inscription to that effect; so that nobody +squanders away their time, without hearing and seeing, daily, how +necessary it is to employ it well, and how irrecoverable it is if lost. +But all these admonitions are useless, where there is not a fund of good +sense and reason to suggest them, rather than receive them. By the +manner in which you now tell me that you employ your time, I flatter +myself that you have that fund; that is the fund which will make you rich +indeed. I do not, therefore, mean to give you a critical essay upon the +use and abuse of time; but I will only give you some hints with regard to +the use of one particular period of that long time which, I hope, you +have before you; I mean, the next two years. Remember, then, that +whatever knowledge you do not solidly lay the foundation of before you +are eighteen, you will never be the master of while you breathe. +Knowledge is a comfortable and necessary retreat and shelter for us in an +advanced age; and if we do not plant it while young, it will give us no +shade when we grow old. I neither require nor expect from you great +application to books, after you are once thrown out into the great world. +I know it is impossible; and it may even, in some cases, be improper; +this, therefore, is your time, and your only time, for unwearied and +uninterrupted application. If you should sometimes think it a little +laborious, consider that labor is the unavoidable fatigue of a necessary +journey. The more hours a day you travel, the sooner you will be at your +journey's end. The sooner you are qualified for your liberty, the sooner +you shall have it; and your manumission will entirely depend upon the +manner in which you employ the intermediate time. I think I offer you a +very good bargain, when I promise you, upon my word, that if you will do +everything that I would have you do, till you are eighteen, I will do +everything that you would have me do ever afterward. + +I knew a gentleman, who was so good a manager of his time, that he would +not even lose that small portion of it, which the calls of nature obliged +him to pass in the necessary-house; but gradually went through all the +Latin poets, in those moments. He bought, for example, a common edition +of Horace, of which he tore off gradually a couple of pages, carried them +with him to that necessary place, read them first, and then sent them +down as a sacrifice to Cloacina : this was so much time fairly gained; +and I recommend you to follow his example. It is better than only doing +what you cannot help doing at those moments; and it will made any book, +which you shall read in that manner, very present in your mind. Books of +science, and of a grave sort, must be read with continuity; but there are +very many, and even very useful ones, which may be read with advantage by +snatches, and unconnectedly; such are all the good Latin poets, except +Virgil in his "AEneid": and such are most of the modern poets, in which +you will find many pieces worth reading, that will not take up above +seven or eight minutes. Bayle's, Moreri's, and other dictionaries, are +proper books to take and shut up for the little intervals of (otherwise) +idle time, that everybody has in the course of the day, between either +their studies or their pleasures. Good night. + + + + +LETTER XXII + +LONDON, December 18, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR Boy: As two mails are now due from Holland, + +I have no letters of yours, or Mr. Harte's to acknowledge; so that this +letter is the effect of that 'scribendi cacoethes,' which my fears, my +hopes, and my doubts, concerning you give me. When I have wrote you a +very long letter upon any subject, it is no sooner gone, but I think I +have omitted something in it, which might be of use to you; and then I +prepare the supplement for the next post: or else some new subject occurs +to me, upon which I fancy I can give you some informations, or point out +some rules which may be advantageous to you. This sets me to writing +again, though God knows whether to any purpose or not; a few years more +can only ascertain that. But, whatever my success may be, my anxiety and +my care can only be the effects of that tender affection which I have for +you; and which you cannot represent to yourself greater than it really +is. But do not mistake the nature of that affection, and think it of a +kind that you may with impunity abuse. It is not natural affection, +there being in reality no such thing; for, if there were, some inward +sentiment must necessarily and reciprocally discover the parent to the +child, and the child to the parent, without any exterior indications, +knowledge, or acquaintance whatsoever; which never happened since the +creation of the world, whatever poets, romance, and novel writers, and +such sentiment-mongers, may be pleased to say to the contrary. Neither +is my affection for you that of a mother, of which the only, or at least +the chief objects, are health and life: I wish you them both most +heartily; but, at the same time, I confess they are by no means my +principal care. + +My object is to have you fit to live; which, if you are not, I do not +desire that you should live at all. My affection for you then is, and +only will be, proportioned to your merit; which is the only affection +that one rational being ought to have for another. Hitherto I have +discovered nothing wrong in your heart, or your head: on the contrary +I think I see sense in the one, and sentiments in the other. This +persuasion is the only motive of my present affection; which will either +increase or diminish, according to your merit or demerit. If you have +the knowledge, the honor, and probity, which you may have, the marks and +warmth of my affection shall amply reward them; but if you have them not, +my aversion and indignation will rise in the same proportion; and, in +that case, remember, that I am under no further obligation, than to give +you the necessary means of subsisting. If ever we quarrel, do not expect +or depend upon any weakness in my nature, for a reconciliation, +as children frequently do, and often meet with, from silly parents; +I have no such weakness about me: and, as I will never quarrel with you +but upon some essential point; if once we quarrel, I will never forgive. +But I hope and believe, that this declaration (for it is no threat) will +prove unnecessary. You are no stranger to the principles of virtue; and, +surely, whoever knows virtue must love it. As for knowledge, you have +already enough of it, to engage you to acquire more. The ignorant only, +either despise it, or think that they have enough: those who have the +most are always the most desirous to have more, and know that the most +they can have is, alas! but too little. + +Reconsider, from time to time, and retain the friendly advice which I +send you. The advantage will be all your own. + + + + +LETTER XXIII + +LONDON, December 29, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I have received two letters from you of the 17th and 22d, N. +S., by the last of which I find that some of mine to you must have +miscarried; for I have never been above two posts without writing to you +or to Mr. Harte, and even very long letters. I have also received a +letter from Mr. Harte, which gives me great satisfaction: it is full of +your praises; and he answers for you, that, in two years more, you will +deserve your manumission, and be fit to go into the world, upon a footing +that will do you honor, and give me pleasure. + +I thank you for your offer of the new edition of 'Adamus Adami,' but I do +not want it, having a good edition of it at present. When you have read +that, you will do well to follow it with Pere Bougeant's 'Histoire du +Traite de Munster,' in two volumes quarto; which contains many important +anecdotes concerning that famous treaty, that are not in Adamus Adami. + +You tell me that your lectures upon the 'Jus Publicum' will be ended at +Easter; but then I hope that Monsieur Mascow will begin them again; +for I would not have you discontinue that study one day while you are at +Leipsig. I suppose that Monsieur Mascow will likewise give you lectures +upon the 'Instrumentum Pacis,' and upon the capitulations of the late +emperors. Your German will go on of course; and I take it for granted +that your stay at Leipsig will make you a perfect master of that +language, both as to speaking and writing; for remember, that knowing any +language imperfectly, is very little better than not knowing it at all: +people being as unwilling to speak in a language which they do not +possess thoroughly, as others are to hear them. Your thoughts are +cramped, and appear to great disadvantage, in any language of which you +are not perfect master. Let modern history share part of your time, +and that always accompanied with the maps of the places in question; +geography and history are very imperfect separately, and, to be useful, +must be joined. + +Go to the Duchess of Courland's as often as she and your leisure will +permit. The company of women of fashion will improve your manners, +though not your understanding; and that complaisance and politeness, +which are so useful in men's company, can only be acquired in women's. + +Remember always, what I have told you a thousand times, that all the +talents in the world will want all their lustre, and some part of their +use too, if they are not adorned with that easy good-breeding, that +engaging manner, and those graces, which seduce and prepossess people in +your favor at first sight. A proper care of your person is by no means +to be neglected; always extremely clean; upon proper occasions fine. +Your carriage genteel, and your motions graceful. Take particular care +of your manner and address, when you present yourself in company. Let +them be respectful without meanness, easy without too much familiarity, +genteel without affectation, and insinuating without any seeming art or +design. + +You need not send me any more extracts of the German constitution; which, +by the course of your present studies, I know you must soon be acquainted +with; but I would now rather that your letters should be a sort of +journal of your own life. As, for instance, what company you keep, +what new acquaintances you make, what your pleasures are; with your own +reflections upon the whole: likewise what Greek and Latin books you read +and understand. Adieu! + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Attention and civility please all. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Avoid singularity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Blindness of the understanding is as much to be pitied . . . . . . . . +Choose your pleasures for yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others. . . +Complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses . . . . . . . . . . . . +Contempt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not to be so.. . . . +Do as you would be done by . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Do what you are about. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Dress well, and not too well . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Dressed like the reasonable people of your own age . . . . . . . . . . +Easy without too much familiarity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Employ your whole time, which few people do. . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Exalt the gentle in woman and man--above the merely genteel. . . . . . +Eyes and ears open and mouth mostly shut . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Fit to live--or not live at all. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world . . . . +Genteel without affectation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Geography and history are very imperfect separately. . . . . . . . . . +Good-breeding. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Gratitude not being universal, nor even common . . . . . . . . . . . . +Greatest fools are the greatest liars. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +He that is gentil doeth gentil deeds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +If once we quarrel, I will never forgive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult . . . . . . . . . . . . +Judge of every man's truth by his degree of understanding. . . . . . . +Knowing any language imperfectly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Knowledge: either despise it, or think that they have enough . . . . . +Labor is the unavoidable fatigue of a necessary journey. . . . . . . . +Let nothing pass till you understand it. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Life of ignorance is not only a very contemptible, but tiresome. . . . +Listlessness and indolence are always blameable. . . . . . . . . . . . +Make a great difference between companions and friends . . . . . . . . +Make himself whatever he pleases, except a good poet . . . . . . . . . +Merit and good-breeding will make their way everywhere . . . . . . . . +Never maintain an argument with heat and clamor. . . . . . . . . . . . +Observe, without being thought an observer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Only doing one thing at a time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Pay them with compliments, but not with confidence . . . . . . . . . . +Pleasure is the rock which most young people split upon. . . . . . . . +Pride of being the first of the company. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Real friendship is a slow grower . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Receive them with great civility, but with great incredulity . . . . . +Recommend it(pleasure) to you, like an Epicurean . . . . . . . . . . . +Respectful without meanness, easy without too much familiarity . . . . +Scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow . . . . . . . . . +Sentiment-mongers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +State your difficulties, whenever you have any . . . . . . . . . . . . +Studied and elaborate dress of the ugliest women in the world. . . . . +Sure guide is, he who has often gone the road which you want to . . . +Talk of natural affection is talking nonsense. . . . . . . . . . . . . +TELL ME WHO YOU LIVE WITH AND I WILL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE. . . . . . . +Thing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable when lost. . . . . . . +True use and value of time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Unguarded frankness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . +Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well. . . . . . . . . . +Wrapped up and absorbed in their abstruse speculations . . . . . . . . +Young leading the young, is like the blind leading the blind . . . . . + + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters to His Son, 1746-47 +by The Earl of Chesterfield + diff --git a/old/lc01s10.zip b/old/lc01s10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ac216e5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/lc01s10.zip diff --git a/old/lc01s11.txt b/old/lc01s11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6014df9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/lc01s11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2098 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters to His Son, 1746-47 +#1 in our series by The Earl of Chesterfield + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!!!! 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Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.10/04/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + + LETTERS TO HIS SON + 1746-1747 + + By the EARL OF CHESTERFIELD + + on the Fine Art of becoming a + + MAN OF THE WORLD + + and a + + GENTLEMAN + + + +Etext Editor's Notes: + +O. S. and N. S.: On consultation with several specialists I have +learned that the abbreviations O. S. and N. S. relate to the difference +between the old Julian calender used in England and the Gregorian calender +which was the standard in Europe. In the mid 18th century it is said that +this once amounted to a difference of eleven days. To keep track of the +chronology of letters back and forth from England to France or other +countries in mainland Europe, Chesterfield inserted in dates the +designation O. S. (old style) and N. S. (new style). + +Chesterfield demonstrates his classical education by frequent words and +sometimes entire paragraphs in various languages. In the 1901 text these +were in italics; in this etext edition I have substituted single quotation +marks around these, as in 'bon mot', and not attempted to include the +various accent marks of all the languages. + +Only obvious typographical errors have been corrected. The original +and occasionally variable spelling is retained throughout. + +D.W. + + + + + +SPECIAL INTRODUCTION + +The proud Lord Chesterfield would have turned in his grave had he known +that he was to go down to posterity as a teacher and preacher of the +gospel of not grace, but--"the graces, the graces, the graces." Natural +gifts, social status, open opportunities, and his ambition, all conspired +to destine him for high statesmanship. If anything was lacking in his +qualifications, he had the pluck and good sense to work hard and +persistently until the deficiency was made up. Something remained +lacking, and not all his consummate mastery of arts could conceal that +conspicuous want,--the want of heart. + +Teacher and preacher he assuredly is, and long will be, yet no thanks are +his due from a posterity of the common people whom he so sublimely +despised. His pious mission was not to raise the level of the multitude, +but to lift a single individual upon a pedestal so high that his lowly +origin should not betray itself. That individual was his, Lord +Chesterfield's, illegitimate son, whose inferior blood should be given +the true blue hue by concentrating upon him all the externals of +aristocratic education. + +Never had pupil so devoted, persistent, lavish, and brilliant a guide, +philosopher, and friend, for the parental relation was shrewdly merged in +these. Never were devotion and uphill struggle against doubts of success +more bitterly repaid. Philip Stanhope was born in 1732, when his father +was thirty-eight. He absorbed readily enough the solids of the ideal +education supplied him, but, by perversity of fate, he cared not a fig +for "the graces, the graces, the graces," which his father so wisely +deemed by far the superior qualities to be cultivated by the budding +courtier and statesman. A few years of minor services to his country +were rendered, though Chesterfield was breaking his substitute for a +heart because his son could not or would not play the superfine +gentleman--on the paternal model, and then came the news of his death, +when only thirty-six. What was a still greater shock to the lordly +father, now deaf, gouty, fretful, and at outs with the world, his +informant reported that she had been secretly married for several years +to Young Hopeful, and was left penniless with two boys. Lord +Chesterfield was above all things a practical philosopher, as hard and +as exquisitely rounded and polished as a granite column. He accepted +the vanishing of his lifelong dream with the admirable stolidity of a +fatalist, and in those last days of his radically artificial life he +disclosed a welcome tenderness, a touch of the divine, none the less so +for being common duty, shown in the few brief letters to his son's widow +and to "our boys." This, and his enviable gift of being able to view the +downs as well as the ups of life in the consoling humorous light, must +modify the sterner judgment so easily passed upon his characteristic +inculcation, if not practice, of heartlessness. + +The thirteenth-century mother church in the town from which Lord +Chesterfield's title came has a peculiar steeple, graceful in its lines, +but it points askew, from whatever quarter it is seen. The writer of +these Letters, which he never dreamed would be published, is the best +self-portrayed Gentleman in literature. In everything he was naturally a +stylist, perfected by assiduous art, yet the graceful steeple is somehow +warped out of the beauty of the perpendicular. His ideal Gentleman is +the frigid product of a rigid mechanical drill, with the mien of a +posture master, the skin-deep graciousness of a French Marechal, the +calculating adventurer who cuts unpretentious worthies to toady to +society magnates, who affects the supercilious air of a shallow dandy +and cherishes the heart of a frog. True, he repeatedly insists on the +obligation of truthfulness in all things, and of, honor in dealing with +the world. His Gentleman may; nay, he must, sail with the stream, gamble +in moderation if it is the fashion, must stoop to wear ridiculous clothes +and ornaments if they are the mode, though despising his weakness all to +himself, and no true Gentleman could afford to keep out of the little +gallantries which so effectively advertised him as a man of spirit sad +charm. Those repeated injunctions of honor are to be the rule, subject +to these exceptions, which transcend the common proprieties when the +subject is the rising young gentleman of the period and his goal social +success. If an undercurrent of shady morality is traceable in this +Chesterfieldian philosophy it must, of course, be explained away by the +less perfect moral standard of his period as compared with that of our +day. Whether this holds strictly true of men may be open to discussion, +but his lordship's worldly instructions as to the utility of women as +stepping-stones to favor in high places are equally at variance with the +principles he so impressively inculcates and with modern conceptions of +social honor. The externals of good breeding cannot be over-estimated, +if honestly come by, nor is it necessary to examine too deeply into the +prime motives of those who urge them upon a generation in whose eyes +matter is more important than manner. Superficial refinement is better +than none, but the Chesterfield pulpit cannot afford to shirk the duty of +proclaiming loud and far that the only courtesy worthy of respect is that +'politesse de coeur,' the politeness of the heart, which finds expression +in consideration for others as the ruling principle of conduct. This +militates to some extent against the assumption of fine airs without the +backing of fine behavior, and if it tends to discourage the effort to use +others for selfish ends, it nevertheless pays better in the long run. + +Chesterfield's frankness in so many confessions of sharp practice almost +merits his canonization as a minor saint of society. Dr. Johnson has +indeed placed him on a Simeon Stylites pillar, an immortality of penance +from which no good member of the writers' guild is likely to pray his +deliverance. He commends the fine art and high science of dissimulation +with the gusto of an apostle and the authority of an expert. +Dissimulate, but do not simulate, disguise your real sentiments, but do +not falsify them. Go through the world with your eyes and ears open and +mouth mostly shut. When new or stale gossip is brought to you, never let +on that you know it already, nor that it really interests you. The +reading of these Letters is better than hearing the average comedy, in +which the wit of a single sentence of Chesterfield suffices to carry an +act. His man-of-the-world philosophy is as old as the Proverbs of +Solomon, but will always be fresh and true, and enjoyable at any age, +thanks to his pithy expression, his unfailing common sense, his sparkling +wit and charming humor. This latter gift shows in the seeming lapses +from his rigid rule requiring absolute elegance of expression at all +times, when an unexpected coarseness, in some provincial colloquialism, +crops out with picturesque force. The beau ideal of superfineness +occasionally enjoys the bliss of harking back to mother English. + +Above all the defects that can be charged against the Letters, there +rises the substantial merit of an honest effort to exalt the gentle in +woman and man--above the merely genteel. "He that is gentil doeth gentil +deeds," runs the mediaeval saying which marks the distinction between the +genuine and the sham in behavior. A later age had it thus: "Handsome is +as handsome does," and in this larger sense we have agreed to accept the +motto of William of Wykeham, which declares that "Manners maketh Man." + +OLIVER H. G. LEIGH + + + + + + +LETTER I + +BATH, October 9, O. S. 1746 + +DEAR BOY: Your distresses in your journey from Heidelberg to +Schaffhausen, your lying upon straw, your black bread, and your broken +'berline,' are proper seasonings for the greater fatigues and distresses +which you must expect in the course of your travels; and, if one had a +mind to moralize, one might call them the samples of the accidents, rubs, +and difficulties, which every man meets with in his journey through life. +In this journey, the understanding is the 'voiture' that must carry you +through; and in proportion as that is stronger or weaker, more or less in +repair, your journey will be better or worse; though at best you will now +and then find some bad roads, and some bad inns. Take care, therefore, +to keep that necessary 'voiture' in perfect good repair; examine, +improve, and strengthen it every day: it is in the power, and ought to be +the care, of every man to do it; he that neglects it, deserves to feel, +and certainly will feel, the fatal effects of that negligence. + +'A propos' of negligence: I must say something to you upon that subject. +You know I have often told you, that my affection for you was not a weak, +womanish one; and, far from blinding me, it makes me but more quick- +sighted as to your faults; those it is not only my right, but my duty to +tell you of; and it is your duty and your interest to correct them. +In the strict scrutiny which I have made into you, I have (thank God) +hitherto not discovered any vice of the heart, or any peculiar weakness +of the head: but I have discovered laziness, inattention, and +indifference; faults which are only pardonable in old men, who, in the +decline of life, when health and spirits fail, have a kind of claim to +that sort of tranquillity. But a young man should be ambitious to shine, +and excel; alert, active, and indefatigable in the means of doing it; +and, like Caesar, 'Nil actum reputans, si quid superesset agendum.' You +seem to want that 'vivida vis animi,' which spurs and excites most young +men to please, to shine, to excel. Without the desire and the pains +necessary to be considerable, depend upon it, you never can be so; as, +without the desire and attention necessary to please, you never can +please. 'Nullum numen abest, si sit prudentia,' is unquestionably true, +with regard to everything except poetry; and I am very sure that any man +of common understanding may, by proper culture, care, attention, and +labor, make himself whatever he pleases, except a good poet. Your +destination is the great and busy world; your immediate object is the +affairs, the interests, and the history, the constitutions, the customs, +and the manners of the several parts of Europe. In this, any man of +common sense may, by common application, be sure to excel. Ancient and +modern history are, by attention, easily attainable. Geography and +chronology the same, none of them requiring any uncommon share of genius +or invention. Speaking and Writing, clearly, correctly, and with ease +and grace, are certainly to be acquired, by reading the best authors with +care, and by attention to the best living models. These are the +qualifications more particularly necessary for you, in your department, +which you may be possessed of, if you please; and which, I tell you +fairly, I shall be very angry at you, if you are not; because, as you +have the means in your hands, it will be your own fault only. + +If care and application are necessary to the acquiring of those +qualifications, without which you can never be considerable, nor make a +figure in the world, they are not less necessary with regard to the +lesser accomplishments, which are requisite to make you agreeable and +pleasing in society. In truth, whatever is worth doing at all, is worth +doing well; and nothing can be done well without attention: I therefore +carry the necessity of attention down to the lowest things, even to +dancing and dress. Custom has made dancing sometimes necessary for a +young man; therefore mind it while you learn it that you may learn to do +it well, and not be ridiculous, though in a ridiculous act. Dress is of +the same nature; you must dress; therefore attend to it; not in order to +rival or to excel a fop in it, but in order to avoid singularity, and +consequently ridicule. Take great care always to be dressed like the +reasonable people of your own age, in the place where you are; whose +dress is never spoken of one way or another, as either too negligent or +too much studied. + +What is commonly called an absent man, is commonly either a very weak, +or a very affected man; but be he which he will, he is, I am sure, a very +disagreeable man in company. He fails in all the common offices of +civility; he seems not to know those people to-day, whom yesterday he +appeared to live in intimacy with. He takes no part in the general +conversation; but, on the contrary, breaks into it from time to time, +with some start of his own, as if he waked from a dream. This (as I said +before) is a sure indication, either of a mind so weak that it is not +able to bear above one object at a time; or so affected, that it would be +supposed to be wholly engrossed by, and directed to, some very great and +important objects. Sir Isaac Newton, Mr. Locke, and (it may be) five or +six more, since the creation of the world, may have had a right to +absence, from that intense thought which the things they were +investigating required. But if a young man, and a man of the world, +who has no such avocations to plead, will claim and exercise that right +of absence in company, his pretended right should, in my mind, be turned +into an involuntary absence, by his perpetual exclusion out of company. +However frivolous a company may be, still, while you are among them, +do not show them, by your inattention, that you think them so; but rather +take their tone, and conform in some degree to their weakness, instead of +manifesting your contempt for them. There is nothing that people bear +more impatiently, or forgive less, than contempt; and an injury is much +sooner forgotten than an insult. If, therefore, you would rather please +than offend, rather be well than ill spoken of, rather be loved than +hated; remember to have that constant attention about you which flatters +every man's little vanity; and the want of which, by mortifying his +pride, never fails to excite his resentment, or at least his ill will. +For instance, most people (I might say all people) have their weaknesses; +they have their aversions and their likings, to such or such things; so +that, if you were to laugh at a man for his aversion to a cat, or cheese +(which are common antipathies), or, by inattention and negligence, to let +them come in his way, where you could prevent it, he would, in the first +case, think himself insulted, and, in the second, slighted, and would +remember both. Whereas your care to procure for him what he likes, and +to remove from him what he hates, shows him that he is at least an object +of your attention; flatters his vanity, and makes him possibly more your +friend, than a more important service would have done. With regard to +women, attentions still below these are necessary, and, by the custom of +the world, in some measure due, according to the laws of good-breeding. + +My long and frequent letters, which I send you, in great doubt of their +success, put me in mind of certain papers, which you have very lately, +and I formerly, sent up to kites, along the string, which we called +messengers; some of them the wind used to blow away, others were torn by +the string, and but few of them got up and stuck to the kite. But I will +content myself now, as I did then, if some of my present messengers do +but stick to you. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER II + +DEAR BOY: You are by this time (I suppose) quite settled and at home at +Lausanne; therefore pray let me know how you pass your time there, and +what your studies, your amusements, and your acquaintances are. I take +it for granted, that you inform yourself daily of the nature of the +government and constitution of the Thirteen Cantons; and as I am ignorant +of them myself, must apply to you for information. I know the names, but +I do not know the nature of some of the most considerable offices there; +such as the Avoyers, the Seizeniers, the Banderets, and the Gros Sautier. +I desire, therefore, that you will let me know what is the particular +business, department, or province of these several magistrates. But as +I imagine that there may be some, though, I believe, no essential +difference, in the governments of the several Cantons, I would not give +you the trouble of informing yourself of each of them; but confine my +inquiries, as you may your informations, to the Canton you reside in, +that of Berne, which I take to be the principal one. I am not sure +whether the Pays de Vaud, where you are, being a conquered country, and +taken from the Dukes of Savoy, in the year 1536, has the same share in +the government of the Canton, as the German part of it has. Pray inform +yourself and me about it. + +I have this moment received yours from Berne, of the 2d October, N. S. +and also one from Mr. Harte, of the same date, under Mr. Burnaby's cover. +I find by the latter, and indeed I thought so before, that some of your +letters and some of Mr. Harte's have not reached me. Wherefore, for the +future, I desire, that both he and you will direct your letters for me, +to be left ches Monsieur Wolters, Agent de S. M. Britanique, a Rotterdam, +who will take care to send them to me safe. The reason why you have not +received letters either from me or from Grevenkop was that we directed +them to Lausanne, where we thought you long ago: and we thought it to no +purpose to direct to you upon your ROUTE, where it was little likely that +our letters would meet with you. But you have, since your arrival at +Lausanne, I believe, found letters enough from me; and it may be more +than you have read, at least with attention. + +I am glad that you like Switzerland so well; and am impatient to hear how +other matters go, after your settlement at Lausanne. God bless you! + + + + +LETTER III + +LONDON, December 2, O.S. 1746. + +DEAR BOY: I have not, in my present situation,--[His Lordship was, in +the year 1746, appointed one of his Majesty's secretaries of state.]-- +time to write to you, either so much or so often as I used, while I was +in a place of much more leisure and profit; but my affection for you must +not be judged of by the number of my letters; and, though the one +lessens, the other, I assure you, does not. + +I have just now received your letter of the 25th past, N. S., and, by the +former post, one from Mr. Harte; with both which I am very well pleased: +with Mr. Harte's, for the good account which he gives me of you; with +yours, for the good account which you gave me of what I desired to be +informed of. Pray continue to give me further information of the form of +government of the country you are now in; which I hope you will know most +minutely before you leave it. The inequality of the town of Lausanne +seems to be very convenient in this cold weather; because going up hill +and down will keep you warm. You say there is a good deal of good +company; pray, are you got into it? Have you made acquaintances, and +with whom? Let me know some of their names. Do you learn German yet, to +read, write, and speak it? + +Yesterday, I saw a letter from Monsieur Bochat to a friend of mine; which +gave me the greatest pleasure that I have felt this great while; because +it gives so very good an account of you. Among other things which +Monsieur Bochat says to your advantage, he mentions the tender uneasiness +and concern that you showed during my illness, for which (though I will +say that you owe it to me) I am obliged to you: sentiments of gratitude +not being universal, nor even common. As your affection for me can only +proceed from your experience and conviction of my fondness for you (for +to talk of natural affection is talking nonsense), the only return I +desire is, what it is chiefly your interest to make me; I mean your +invariable practice of virtue, and your indefatigable pursuit of +knowledge. Adieu! and be persuaded that I shall love you extremely, +while you deserve it; but not one moment longer. + + + + +LETTER IV + +LONDON, December 9, O. S. 1746. + +DEAR BOY: Though I have very little time, and though I write by this post +to Mr. Harte, yet I cannot send a packet to Lausanne without a word or +two to yourself. I thank you for your letter of congratulation which you +wrote me, notwithstanding the pain it gave you. The accident that caused +the pain was, I presume, owing to that degree of giddiness, of which I +have sometimes taken the liberty to speak to you. The post I am now in, +though the object of most people's views and desires, was in some degree +inflicted upon me; and a certain concurrence cf circumstances obliged me +to engage in it. But I feel that to go through with it requires more +strength of body and mind than I have: were you three or four years +older; you should share in my trouble, and I would have taken you into my +office; but I hope you will employ these three or four years so well as +to make yourself capable of being of use to me, if I should continue in +it so long. The reading, writing, and speaking the modern languages +correctly; the knowledge of the laws of nations, and the particular +constitution of the empire; of history, geography, and chronology, are +absolutely necessary to this business, for which I have always intended +you. With these qualifications you may very possibly be my successor, +though not my immediate one. + +I hope you employ your whole time, which few people do; and that you put +every moment to, profit of some kind or other. I call company, walking, +riding, etc., employing one's time, and, upon proper occasions, very +usefully; but what I cannot forgive in anybody is sauntering, and doing +nothing at all, with a thing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable +when lost. + +Are you acquainted with any ladies at Lausanne? and do you behave +yourself with politeness enough to make them desire your company? + +I must finish: God bless you! + + + + +LETTER V + +LONDON, February 24, O. S. 1747 + +SIR: In order that we may, reciprocally, keep up our French, which, for +want of practice, we might forget; you will permit me to have the honor +of assuring you of my respects in that language: and be so good to answer +me in the same. Not that I am apprehensive of your forgetting to speak +French: since it is probable that two-thirds of our daily prattle is in +that language; and because, if you leave off writing French, you may +perhaps neglect that grammatical purity, and accurate orthography, which, +in other languages, you excel in; and really, even in French, it is +better to write well than ill. However, as this is a language very +proper for sprightly, gay subjects, I shall conform to that, and reserve +those which are serious for English. I shall not therefore mention to +you, at present, your Greek or Latin, your study of the Law of Nature, or +the Law of Nations, the Rights of People, or of Individuals; but rather +discuss the subject of your Amusements and Pleasures; for, to say the +truth, one must have some. May I be permitted to inquire of what nature +yours are? Do they consist in little commercial play at cards in good +company? are they little agreeable suppers, at which cheerfulness and +decency are united? or, do you pay court to some fair one, who requires +such attentions as may be of use in contributing to polish you? Make me +your confidant upon this subject; you shall not find a severe censor: on +the contrary, I wish to obtain the employment of minister to your +pleasures: I will point them out, and even contribute to them. + +Many young people adopt pleasures, for which they have not the least +taste, only because they are called by that name. They often mistake so +totally, as to imagine that debauchery is pleasure. You must allow that +drunkenness, which is equally destructive to body and mind, is a fine +pleasure. Gaming, that draws you into a thousand scrapes, leaves you +penniless, and gives you the air and manners of an outrageous madman, +is another most exquisite pleasure; is it not? As to running after +women, the consequences of that vice are only the loss of one's nose, +the total destruction of health, and, not unfrequently, the being run +through the body. + +These, you see, are all trifles; yet this is the catalogue of pleasures +of most of those young people, who never reflecting themselves, adopt, +indiscriminately, what others choose to call by the seducing name of +pleasure. I am thoroughly persuaded you will not fall into such errors; +and that, in the choice of your amusements, you will be directed by +reason, and a discerning taste. The true pleasures of a gentleman are +those of the table, but within the bound of moderation; good company, +that is to say, people of merit; moderate play, which amuses, without any +interested views; and sprightly gallant conversations with women of +fashion and sense. + +These are the real pleasures of a gentleman; which occasion neither +sickness, shame, nor repentance. Whatever exceeds them, becomes low +vice, brutal passion, debauchery, and insanity of, mind; all of which, +far from giving satisfaction, bring on dishonor and disgrace. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER VI + +LONDON, March 6, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: Whatever you do, will always affect me, very sensibly, one way +or another; and I am now most agreeably affected, by two letters, which I +have lately seen from Lausanne, upon your subject; the one from Madame +St. Germain, the other from Monsieur Pampigny: they both give so good an +account of you, that I thought myself obliged, in justice both to them +and, to you, to let you know it. Those who deserve a good character, +ought to have the satisfaction of knowing that they have it, both as a +reward and as an encouragement. They write, that you are not only +'decrotte,' but tolerably well-bred; and that the English crust of +awkward bashfulness, shyness, and roughness (of which, by the bye, you +had your share) is pretty well rubbed off. I am most heartily glad of +it; for, as I have often told you, those lesser talents, of an engaging, +insinuating manner, an easy good-breeding, a genteel behavior and +address, are of infinitely more advantage than they are generally thought +to be, especially here in England. Virtue and learning, like gold, have +their intrinsic value but if they are not polished, they certainly lose a +great deal of their luster; and even polished brass will pass upon more +people than rough gold. What a number of sins does the cheerful, easy +good-breeding of the French frequently cover? Many of them want common +sense, many more common learning; but in general, they make up so much by +their manner, for those defects, that frequently they pass undiscovered: +I have often said, and do think, that a Frenchman, who, with a fund of +virtue, learning and good sense, has the manners and good-breeding of his +country, is the perfection of human nature. This perfection you may, if +you please, and I hope you will, arrive at. You know what virtue is: you +may have it if you will; it is in every man's power; and miserable is the +man who has it not. Good sense God has given you. Learning you already +possess enough of, to have, in a reasonable time, all that a man need +have. With this, you are thrown out early into the world, where it will +be your own fault if you do not acquire all, the other accomplishments +necessary to complete and adorn your character. You will do well to make +your compliments to Madame St. Germain and Monsieur Pampigny; and tell +them, how sensible you are of their partiality to you, in the advantageous +testimonies which, you are informed, they have given of you here. + +Adieu. Continue to deserve such testimonies; and then you will not only +deserve, but enjoy my truest affection. + + + + +LETTER VII + +LONDON, March 27, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: Pleasure is the rock which most young people split upon: they +launch out with crowded sails in quest of it, but without a compass to +direct their course, or reason sufficient to steer the vessel; for want +of which, pain and shame, instead of pleasure, are the returns of their +voyage. Do not think that I mean to snarl at pleasure, like a Stoic, +or to preach against it, like a parson; no, I mean to point it out, +and recommend it to you, like an Epicurean: I wish you a great deal; +and my only view is to hinder you from mistaking it. + +The character which most young men first aim at, is that of a man of +pleasure; but they generally take it upon trust; and instead of +consulting their own taste and inclinations, they blindly adopt whatever +those with whom they chiefly converse, are pleased to call by the name of +pleasure; and a man of pleasure in the vulgar acceptation of that phrase, +means only, a beastly drunkard, an abandoned whoremaster, and a +profligate swearer and curser. As it may be of use to you. I am not +unwilling, though at the same time ashamed to own, that the vices of my +youth proceeded much more from my silly resolution of being, what I heard +called a man of pleasure, than from my own inclinations. I always +naturally hated drinking; and yet I have often drunk; with disgust at the +time, attended by great sickness the next day, only because I then +considered drinking as a necessary qualification for a fine gentleman, +and a man of pleasure. + +The same as to gaming. I did not want money, and consequently had no +occasion to play for it; but I thought play another necessary ingredient +in the composition of a man of pleasure, and accordingly I plunged into +it without desire, at first; sacrificed a thousand real pleasures to it; +and made myself solidly uneasy by it, for thirty the best years of my +life. + +I was even absurd enough, for a little while, to swear, by way of +adorning and completing the shining character which I affected; but this +folly I soon laid aside, upon finding berth the guilt and the indecency +of it. + +Thus seduced by fashion, and blindly adopting nominal pleasures, I lost +real ones; and my fortune impaired, and my constitution shattered, are, +I must confess, the just punishment of my errors. + +Take warning then by them: choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not +let them be imposed upon you. Follow nature and not fashion: weigh the +present enjoyment of your pleasures against the necessary consequences of +them, and then let your own common sense determine your choice. + +Were I to begin the world again, with the experience which I now have of +it, I would lead a life of real, not of imaginary pleasures. I would +enjoy the pleasures of the table, and of wine; but stop short of the +pains inseparably annexed to an excess of either. I would not, at twenty +years, be a preaching missionary of abstemiousness and sobriety; and I +should let other people do as they would, without formally and +sententiously rebuking them for it; but I would be most firmly resolved +not to destroy my own faculties and constitution; in complaisance to +those who have no regard to their own. I would play to give me pleasure, +but not to give me pain; that is, I would play for trifles, in mixed +companies, to amuse myself, and conform to custom; but I would take care +not to venture for sums; which, if I won, I should not be the better for; +but, if I lost, should be under a difficulty to pay: and when paid, would +oblige me to retrench in several other articles. Not to mention the +quarrels which deep play commonly occasions. + +I would pass some of my time in reading, and the rest in the company of +people of sense and learning, and chiefly those above me; and I would +frequent the mixed companies of men and women of fashion, which, though +often frivolous, yet they unbend and refresh the mind, not uselessly, +because they certainly polish and soften the manners. + +These would be my pleasures and amusements, if I were to live the last +thirty years over again; they are rational ones; and, moreover, I will +tell you, they are really the fashionable ones; for the others are not, +in truth, the pleasures of what I call people of fashion, but of those +who only call themselves so. Does good company care to have a man +reeling drunk among them? Or to see another tearing his hair, and +blaspheming, for having lost, at play, more than he is able to pay? +Or a whoremaster with half a nose, and crippled by coarse and infamous +debauchery? No; those who practice, and much more those who brag of +them, make no part of good company; and are most unwillingly, if ever, +admitted into it. A real man of fashion and pleasures observes decency: +at least neither borrows nor affects vices: and if he unfortunately has +any, he gratifies them with choice, delicacy, and secrecy. + +I have not mentioned the pleasures of the mind (which are the solid and +permanent ones); because they do not come under the head of what people +commonly call pleasures; which they seem to confine to the senses. The +pleasure of virtue, of charity, and of learning is true and lasting +pleasure; with which I hope you will be well and long acquainted. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER VIII + +LONDON, April 3, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: If I am rightly informed, I am now writing to a fine gentleman, +in a scarlet coat laced with gold, a brocade waistcoat, and all other +suitable ornaments. The natural partiality of every author for his own +works makes me very glad to hear that Mr. Harte has thought this last +edition of mine worth so fine a binding; and, as he has bound it in red, +and gilt it upon the back, I hope he will take care that it shall be +LETTERED too. A showish binding attracts the eyes, and engages the +attention of everybody; but with this difference, that women, and men who +are like women, mind the binding more than the book; whereas men of sense +and learning immediately examine the inside; and if they find that it +does not answer the finery on the outside, they throw it by with the +greater indignation and contempt. I hope that, when this edition of my +works shall be opened and read, the best judges will find connection, +consistency, solidity, and spirit in it. Mr. Harte may 'recensere' and +'emendare,' as much as he pleases; but it will be to little purpose, if +you do not cooperate with him. The work will be imperfect. + +I thank you for your last information of our success in the +Mediterranean, and you say very rightly that a secretary of state ought +to be well informed. I hope, therefore, you will take care that I shall. +You are near the busy scene in Italy; and I doubt not but that, by +frequently looking at the map, you have all that theatre of the war very +perfect in your mind. + +I like your account of the salt works; which shows that you gave some +attention while you were seeing them. But notwithstanding that, by your +account, the Swiss salt is (I dare say) very good, yet I am apt to +suspect that it falls a little short of the true Attic salt in which +there was a peculiar quickness and delicacy. That same Attic salt +seasoned almost all Greece, except Boeotia, and a great deal of it was +exported afterward to Rome, where it was counterfeited by a composition +called Urbanity, which in some time was brought to very near the +perfection of the original Attic salt. The more you are powdered with +these two kinds of salt, the better you will keep, and the more you will +be relished. + +Adieu! My compliments to Mr. Harte and Mr. Eliot. + + + + +LETTER IX + +LONDON, April 14, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: If you feel half the pleasure from the consciousness of doing +well, that I do from the informations I have lately received in your +favor from Mr. Harte, I shall have little occasion to exhort or admonish +you any more to do what your own satisfaction and self love will +sufficiently prompt you to. Mr. Harte tells me that you attend, that you +apply to your studies; and that beginning to understand, you begin to +taste them. This pleasure will increase, and keep pace with your +attention; so that the balance will be greatly to your advantage. You +may remember, that I have always earnestly recommended to you, to do what +you are about, be that what it will; and to do nothing else at the same +time. Do not imagine that I mean by this, that you should attend to and +plod at your book all day long; far from it; I mean that you should have +your pleasures too; and that you should attend to them for the time; as +much as to your studies; and, if you do not attend equally to both, you +will neither have improvement nor satisfaction from either. A man is fit +for neither business nor pleasure, who either cannot, or does not, +command and direct his attention to the present object, and, in some +degree, banish for that time all other objects from his thoughts. If at +a ball, a supper, or a party of pleasure, a man were to be solving, +in his own mind, a problem in Euclid, he would be a very bad companion, +and make a very poor figure in that company; or if, in studying a problem +in his closet, he were to think of a minuet, I am apt to believe that he +would make a very poor mathematician. There is time enough for +everything, in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once; +but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a +time. The Pensionary de Witt, who was torn to pieces in the year 1672, +did the whole business of the Republic, and yet had time left to go to +assemblies in the evening, and sup in company. Being asked how he could +possibly find time to go through so much business, and yet amuse himself +in the evenings as he did, he answered, there was nothing so easy; for +that it was only doing one thing at a time, and never putting off +anything till to-morrow that could be done to-day. This steady and +undissipated attention to one object is a sure mark of a superior genius; +as hurry, bustle, and agitation are the never-failing symptoms of a weak +and frivolous mind. When you read Horace, attend to the justness of his +thoughts, the happiness of his diction, and the beauty of his poetry; and +do not think of Puffendorf de Homine el Cive; and, when you are reading +Puffendorf, do not think of Madame de St. Germain; nor of Puffendorf, +when you are talking to Madame de St. Germain. + +Mr. Harte informs me, that he has reimbursed you of part of your losses +in Germany; and I consent to his reimbursing you of the whole, now that I +know you deserve it. I shall grudge you nothing, nor shall you want +anything that you desire, provided you deserve it; so that you see, it is +in your own power to have whatever you please. + +There is a little book which you read here with Monsieur Codere entitled, +'Maniere de bien penser dans les Ouvrages d'Esprit,' written by Pyre +Bonhours. I wish you would read this book again at your leisure hours, +for it will not only divert you, but likewise form your taste, and give +you a just manner of thinking. Adieu! + + + + +LETTER X + +LONDON, June 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I was extremely pleased with the account which you gave me in +your last, of the civilities that you received in your Swiss progress; +and I have written, by this post, to Mr. Burnaby, and to the 'Avoyer,' +to thank them for their parts. If the attention you met with pleased +you, as I dare say it did, you will, I hope, draw this general conclusion +from it, that attention and civility please all those to whom they are +paid; and that you will please others in proportion as you are attentive +and civil to them. + +Bishop Burnet has wrote his travels through Switzerland; and Mr. Stanyan, +from a long residence there, has written the best account, yet extant, +of the Thirteen Cantons; but those books will be read no more, I presume, +after you shall have published your account of that country. I hope you +will favor me with one of the first copies. To be serious; though I do +not desire that you should immediately turn author, and oblige the world +with your travels; yet, wherever you go, I would have you as curious and +inquisitive as if you did intend to write them. I do not mean that you +should give yourself so much trouble, to know the number of houses, +inhabitants, signposts, and tombstones, of every town that you go +through; but that you should inform yourself, as well as your stay will +permit you, whether the town is free, or to whom it belongs, or in what +manner: whether it has any peculiar privileges or customs; what trade or +manufactures; and such other particulars as people of sense desire to +know. And there would be no manner of harm if you were to take +memorandums of such things in a paper book to help your memory. The only +way of knowing all these things is to keep the best company, who can best +inform you of them. I am just now called away; so good night. + + + + +LETTER XI + +LONDON, July 20, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: In your Mamma's letter, which goes here inclosed, you will +find one from my sister, to thank you for the Arquebusade water which you +sent her; and which she takes very kindly. She would not show me her +letter to you; but told me that it contained good wishes and good advice; +and, as I know she will show your letter in answer to hers, I send you +here inclosed the draught of the letter which I would have you write to +her. I hope you will not be offended at my offering you my assistance +upon this occasion; because, I presume, that as yet, you are not much +used to write to ladies. 'A propos' of letter-writing, the best models +that you can form yourself upon are, Cicero, Cardinal d'Ossat, Madame +Sevigne, and Comte Bussy Rebutin. Cicero's Epistles to Atticus, and to +his familiar friends, are the best examples that you can imitate, in the +friendly and the familiar style. The simplicity and the clearness of +Cardinal d'Ossat's letters show how letters of business ought to be +written; no affected turns, no attempts at wit, obscure or perplex his +matter; which is always plainly and clearly stated, as business always +should be. For gay and amusing letters, for 'enjouement and badinage,' +there are none that equal Comte Bussy's and Madame Sevigne's. They are +so natural, that they seem to be the extempore conversations of two +people of wit, rather, than letters which are commonly studied, though +they ought not to be so. I would advise you to let that book be one in +your itinerant library; it will both amuse and inform you. + +I have not time to add any more now; so good night. + + + + +LETTER XII + +LONDON, July 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: It is now four posts since I have received any letter, either +from you or from Mr. Harte. I impute this to the rapidity of your +travels through Switzerland; which I suppose are by this time finished. + +You will have found by my late letters, both to you and Mr. Harte, that +you are to be at Leipsig by next Michaelmas; where you will be lodged in +the house of Professor Mascow, and boarded in the neighborhood of it, +with some young men of fashion. The professor will read you lectures +upon 'Grotius de Jure Belli et Pacis,' the 'Institutes of Justinian' and +the 'Jus Publicum Imperii;' which I expect that you shall not only hear, +but attend to, and retain. I also expect that you make yourself +perfectly master of the German language; which you may very soon do +there, if you please. I give you fair warning, that at Leipsig I shall +have an hundred invisible spies about you; and shall be exactly informed +of everything that you do, and of almost everything that you say. I hope +that, in consequence of those minute informations, I may be able to say +of you, what Velleius Paterculus says of Scipio; that in his whole life, +'nihil non laudandum aut dixit, aut fecit, aut sensit.' There is a great +deal of good company in Leipsig, which I would have you frequent in the +evenings, when the studies of the day are over. There is likewise a kind +of court kept there, by a Duchess Dowager of Courland; at which you +should get introduced. The King of Poland and his Court go likewise to +the fair at Leipsig twice a year; and I shall write to Sir Charles +Williams, the king's minister there, to have you presented, and +introduced into good company. But I must remind you, at the same time, +that it will be to a very little purpose for you to frequent good +company, if you do not conform to, and learn their manners; if you are +not attentive to please, and well bred, with the easiness of a man of +fashion. As you must attend to your manners, so you must not neglect +your person; but take care to be very clean, well dressed, and genteel; +to have no disagreeable attitudes, nor awkward tricks; which many people +use themselves to, and then cannot leave them off. Do you take care to +keep your teeth very clean, by washing them constantly every morning, and +after every meal? This is very necessary, both to preserve your teeth a +great while, and to save you a great deal of pain. Mine have plagued me +long, and are now falling out, merely from want of care when I was your +age. Do you dress well, and not too well? Do you consider your air and +manner of presenting yourself enough, and not too much? Neither +negligent nor stiff? All these things deserve a degree of care, +a second-rate attention; they give an additional lustre to real merit. +My Lord Bacon says, that a pleasing figure is a perpetual letter of +recommendation. It is certainly an agreeable forerunner of merit, and +smoothes the way for it. + +Remember that I shall see you at Hanover next summer, and shall expect +perfection; which if I do not meet with, or at least something very near +it, you and I shall, not be very well together. I shall dissect and +analyze you with a microscope; so that I shall discover the least speck +or blemish. This is fair warning; therefore take your measures +accordingly. Yours. + + + + +LETTER XIII + + +LONDON, August 21, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: I reckon that this letter has but a bare chance of finding you +at Lausanne; but I was resolved to risk it, as it is the last that I +shall write to you till you are settled at Leipsig. I sent you by the +last post, under cover to Mr. Harte, a letter of recommendation to one of +the first people at Munich; which you will take care to present to him in +the politest manner; he will certainly have you presented to the +electoral family; and I hope you will go through that ceremony with great +respect, good breeding, and ease. As this is the first court that ever +you will have been at, take care to inform yourself if there be any +particular, customs or forms to be observed, that you may not commit any +mistake. At Vienna men always make courtesies, instead of bows, to the +emperor; in France nobody bows at all to the king, nor kisses his hand; +but in Spain and England, bows are made, and hands are kissed. Thus +every court has some peculiarity or other, of which those who go to them +ought previously to inform themselves, to avoid blunders and +awkwardnesses. + +I have not time to say any more now, than to wish you good journey to +Leipsig; and great attention, both there and in going there. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XIV + +LONDON, September 21, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I received, by the last post, your letter of the 8th, N. S., +and I do not wonder that you are surprised at the credulity and +superstition of the Papists at Einsiedlen, and at their absurd stories of +their chapel. But remember, at the same time, that errors and mistakes, +however gross, in matters of opinion, if they are sincere, are to be +pitied, but not punished nor laughed at. The blindness of the +understanding is as much to be pitied as the blindness of the eye; +and there is neither jest nor guilt in a man's losing his way in either +case. Charity bids us set him right if we can, by arguments and +persuasions; but charity, at the same time, forbids, either to punish or +ridicule his misfortune. Every man's reason is, and must be, his guide; +and I may as well expect that every man should be of my size and +complexion, as that he should reason just as I do. Every man seeks for +truth; but God only knows who has found it. It is, therefore, as unjust +to persecute, as it is absurd to ridicule, people for those several +opinions, which they cannot help entertaining upon the conviction of +their reason. It is the man who tells, or who acts a lie, that is +guilty, and not he who honestly and sincerely believes the lie. +I really know nothing more criminal, more mean, and more ridiculous than +lying. It is the production either of malice, cowardice, or vanity; +and generally misses of its aim in every one of these views; for lies are +always detected sooner or later. If I tell a malicious lie, in order to +affect any man's fortune or character, I may indeed injure him for some +time; but I shall be sure to be the greatest sufferer myself at last; +for as soon as ever I am detected (and detected I most certainly shall +be), I am blasted for the infamous attempt; and whatever is said +afterward, to the disadvantage of that person, however true, passes for +calumny. If I lie, or equivocate (for it is the same thing), in order to +excuse myself for something that I have said or done, and to avoid the +danger and the shame that I apprehend from it, I discover at once my fear +as well as my falsehood; and only increase, instead of avoiding, the +danger and the shame; I show myself to be the lowest and the meanest of +mankind, and am sure to be always treated as such. Fear, instead of +avoiding, invites danger; for concealed cowards will insult known ones. +If one has had the misfortune to be in the wrong, there is something +noble in frankly owning it; it is the only way of atoning for it, and the +only way of being forgiven. Equivocating, evading, shuffling, in order +to remove a present danger or inconveniency, is something so mean, and +betrays so much fear, that whoever practices them always deserves to be, +and often will be kicked. There is another sort of lies, inoffensive +enough in themselves, but wonderfully ridiculous; I mean those lies which +a mistaken vanity suggests, that defeat the very end for which they are +calculated, and terminate in the humiliation and confusion of their +author, who is sure to be detected. These are chiefly narrative and +historical lies, all intended to do infinite honor to their author. +He is always the hero of his own romances; he has been in dangers from +which nobody but himself ever escaped; he has seen with his own eyes, +whatever other people have heard or read of: he has had more 'bonnes +fortunes' than ever he knew women; and has ridden more miles post in one +day, than ever courier went in two. He is soon discovered, and as soon +becomes the object of universal contempt and ridicule. Remember, then, +as long as you live, that nothing but strict truth can carry you through +the world, with either your conscience or your honor unwounded. It is +not only your duty, but your interest; as a proof of which you may always +observe, that the greatest fools are the greatest liars. For my own +part, I judge of every man's truth by his degree of understanding. + +This letter will, I suppose, find you at Leipsig; where I expect and +require from you attention and accuracy, in both which you have hitherto +been very deficient. Remember that I shall see you in the summer; shall +examine you most narrowly; and will never forget nor forgive those +faults, which it has been in your own power to prevent or cure; and be +assured that I have many eyes upon you at Leipsig, besides Mr. Harte's. +Adieu! + + + + +LETTER XV + +LONDON, October 2, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: By your letter of the 18th past, N. S., I find that you are a +tolerably good landscape painter, and can present the several views of +Switzerland to the curious. I am very glad of it, as it is a proof of +some attention; but I hope you will be as good a portrait painter, which +is a much more noble science. By portraits, you will easily judge, that +I do not mean the outlines and the coloring of the human figure; but the +inside of the heart and mind of man. This science requires more +attention, observation, and penetration, than the other; as indeed it is +infinitely more useful. Search, therefore, with the greatest care, into +the characters of those whom you converse with; endeavor to discover +their predominant passions, their prevailing weaknesses, their vanities, +their follies, and their humors, with all the right and wrong, wise and +silly springs of human actions, which make such inconsistent and +whimsical beings of us rational creatures. A moderate share of +penetration, with great attention, will infallibly make these necessary +discoveries. This is the true knowledge of the world; and the world is +a country which nobody ever yet knew by description; one must travel +through it one's self to be acquainted with it. The scholar, who in the +dust of his closet talks or writes of the world, knows no more of it, +than that orator did of war, who judiciously endeavored to instruct +Hannibal in it. Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world +in. There alone all kinds of characters resort, and human nature is seen +in all the various shapes and modes, which education, custom, and habit +give it; whereas, in all other places, one local mode generally prevails, +and producing a seeming though not a real sameness of character. For +example, one general mode distinguishes an university, another a trading +town, a third a seaport town, and so on; whereas, at a capital, where the +Prince or the Supreme Power resides, some of all these various modes are +to be seen and seen in action too, exerting their utmost skill in pursuit +of their several objects. Human nature is the same all over the world; +but its operations are so varied by education and habit, that one must +see it in all its dresses in order to be intimately acquainted with it. +The passion of ambition, for instance, is the same in a courtier, + a soldier, or an ecclesiastic; but, from their different educations and +habits, they will take very different methods to gratify it. Civility, +which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others, is essentially +the same in every country; but good-breeding, as it is called, which is +the manner of exerting that disposition, is different in almost every +country, and merely local; and every man of sense imitates and conforms +to that local good-breeding of the place which he is at. A conformity +and flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world; that +is, with regard to all things which are not wrong in themselves. The +'versatile ingenium' is the most useful of all. It can turn itself +instantly from one object to another, assuming the proper manner for +each. It can be serious with the grave, cheerful with the gay, and +trifling with the frivolous. Endeavor by all means, to acquire this +talent, for it is a very great one. + +As I hardly know anything more useful, than to see, from time to time, +pictures of one's self drawn by different hands, I send you here a sketch +of yourself, drawn at Lausanne, while you were there, and sent over here +by a person who little thought that it would ever fall into my hands: and +indeed it was by the greatest accident in the world that it did. + + + + +LETTER XVI + +LONDON, October 9, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR BOY: People of your age have, commonly, an unguarded frankness about +them; which makes them the easy prey and bubbles of the artful and the +experienced; they look upon every knave or fool, who tells them that he +is their friend, to be really so; and pay that profession of simulated +friendship, with an indiscreet and unbounded confidence, always to their +loss, often to their ruin. Beware, therefore, now that you are coming +into the world, of these preferred friendships. Receive them with great +civility, but with great incredulity too; and pay them with compliments, +but not with confidence. Do not let your vanity and self-love make you +suppose that people become your friends at first sight, or even upon a +short acquaintance. Real friendship is a slow grower and never thrives +unless engrafted upon a stock of known and reciprocal merit. There is +another kind of nominal friendship among young people, which is warm for +the time, but by good luck, of short duration. This friendship is +hastily produced, by their being accidentally thrown together, and +pursuing the course of riot and debauchery. A fine friendship, truly; +and well cemented by drunkenness and lewdness. It should rather be +called a conspiracy against morals and good manners, and be punished as +such by the civil magistrate. However, they have the impudence and folly +to call this confederacy a friendship. They lend one another money, +for bad purposes; they engage in quarrels, offensive and defensive for +their accomplices; they tell one another all they know, and often more +too, when, of a sudden, some accident disperses them, and they think no +more of each other, unless it be to betray and laugh, at their imprudent +confidence. Remember to make a great difference between companions and +friends; for a very complaisant and agreeable companion may, and often +does, prove a very improper and a very dangerous friend. People will, +in a great degree, and not without reason, form their opinion of you, +upon that which they have of your friends; and there is a Spanish +proverb, which says very justly, TELL ME WHO YOU LIVE WITH AND I WILL +TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE. One may fairly suppose, that the man who makes a +knave or a fool his friend, has something very bad to do or to conceal. +But, at the same time that you carefully decline the friendship of knaves +and fools, if it can be called friendship, there is no occasion to make +either of them your enemies, wantonly and unprovoked; for they are +numerous bodies: and I, would rather choose a secure neutrality, than +alliance, or war with either of them. You may be a declared enemy to +their vices and follies, without being marked out by them as a personal +one. Their enmity is the next dangerous thing to their friendship. +Have a real reserve with almost everybody; and have a seeming reserve +with almost nobody; for it is very disagreeable to seem reserved, and +very dangerous not to be so. Few people find the true medium; many are +ridiculously mysterious and reserved upon trifles; and many imprudently +communicative of all they know. + +The next thing to the choice of your friends, is the choice of your +company. Endeavor, as much as you can, to keep company with people above +you: there you rise, as much as you sink with people below you; for (as I +have mentioned before) you are whatever the company you keep is. Do not +mistake, when I say company above you, and think that I mean with regard +to, their birth: that is the least consideration; but I mean with regard +to their merit, and the light in which the world considers them. + +There are two sorts of good company; one, which is called the beau monde, +and consists of the people who have the lead in courts, and in the gay +parts of life; the other consists of those who are distinguished by some +peculiar merit, or who excel in some particular and valuable art or +science. For my own part, I used to think myself in company as, much +above me, when I was with Mr. Addison and Mr. Pope, as if I had been with +all the princes in Europe. What I mean by low company, which should by +all means be avoided, is the company of those, who, absolutely +insignificant and contemptible in themselves, think they are honored by +being in your company; and who flatter every vice and every folly you +have, in order to engage you to converse with them. The pride of being +the first of the company is but too common; but it is very silly, and +very prejudicial. Nothing in the world lets down a character quicker +than that wrong turn. + +You may possibly ask me, whether a man has it always in his power to get +the best company? and how? I say, Yes, he has, by deserving it; +providing he is but in circumstances which enable him to appear upon the +footing of a gentleman. Merit and good-breeding will make their way +everywhere. Knowledge will introduce him, and good-breeding will endear +him to the best companies: for, as I have often told you, politeness and +good-breeding are absolutely necessary to adorn any, or all other good +qualities or talents. Without them, no knowledge, no perfection +whatever, is seen in its best light. The scholar, without good-breeding, +is a pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every +man disagreeable. + +I long to hear, from my several correspondents at Leipsig, of your +arrival there, and what impression you make on them at first; for I have +Arguses, with an hundred eyes each, who will watch you narrowly, and +relate to me faithfully. My accounts will certainly be true; it depends +upon you, entirely, of what kind they shall be. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XVII + +LONDON, October 16, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess; but a +very difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and +your own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. +Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of pleasing. +Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably the same thing +in you will please others. If you are pleased with the complaisance and +attention of others to your humors, your tastes, or your weaknesses, +depend upon it the same complaisance and attention, on your part to +theirs, will equally please them. Take the tone of the company that you +are in, and do not pretend to give it; be serious, gay, or even trifling, +as you find the present humor of the company; this is an attention due +from every individual to the majority. Do not tell stories in company; +there is nothing more tedious and disagreeable; if by chance you know a +very short story, and exceedingly applicable to the present subject of +conversation, tell it in as few words as possible; and even then, throw +out that you do not love to tell stories; but that the shortness of it +tempted you. Of all things, banish the egotism out of your conversation, +and never think of entertaining people with your own personal concerns, +or private, affairs; though they are interesting to you, they are tedious +and impertinent to everybody else; besides that, one cannot keep one's +own private affairs too secret. Whatever you think your own excellencies +may be, do not affectedly display them in company; nor labor, as many +people do, to give that turn to the conversation, which may supply you +with an opportunity of exhibiting them. If they are real, they will +infallibly be discovered, without your pointing them out yourself, and +with much more advantage. Never maintain an argument with heat and +clamor, though you think or know yourself to be in the right: but give +your opinion modestly and coolly, which is the only way to convince; +and, if that does not do, try to change the conversation, by saying, +with good humor, "We shall hardly convince one another, nor is it +necessary that we should, so let us talk of something else." + +Remember that there is a local propriety to be observed in all companies; +and that what is extremely proper in one company, may be, and often is, +highly improper in another. + +The jokes, the 'bonmots,' the little adventures, which may do very well +in one company, will seem flat and tedious, when related in another. +The particular characters, the habits, the cant of one company, may give +merit to a word, or a gesture, which would have none at all if divested +of those accidental circumstances. Here people very commonly err; and +fond of something that has entertained them in one company, and in +certain circumstances, repeat it with emphasis in another, where it is +either insipid, or, it may be, offensive, by being ill-timed or +misplaced. Nay, they often do it with this silly preamble; "I will tell +you an excellent thing"; or, "I will tell you the best thing in the +world." This raises expectations, which, when absolutely disappointed, +make the relater of this excellent thing look, very deservedly, like a +fool. + +If you would particularly gain the affection and friendship of particular +people, whether men or women, endeavor to find out the predominant +excellency, if they have one, and their prevailing weakness, which +everybody has; and do justice to the one, and something more than justice +to the other. Men have various objects in which they may excel, or at +least would be thought to excel; and, though they love to hear justice +done to them, where they know that they excel, yet they are most and best +flattered upon those points where they wish to excel, and yet are +doubtful whether they do or not. As, for example, Cardinal Richelieu, +who was undoubtedly the ablest statesman of his time, or perhaps of any +other, had the idle vanity of being thought the best poet too; he envied +the great Corneille his reputation, and ordered a criticism to be written +upon the "Cid." Those, therefore, who flattered skillfully, said little +to him of his abilities in state affairs, or at least but 'en passant,' +and as it might naturally occur. But the incense which they gave him, +the smoke of which they knew would turn his head in their favor, was as a +'bel esprit' and a poet. Why? Because he was sure of one excellency, +and distrustful as to the other. You will easily discover every man's +prevailing vanity, by observing his favorite topic of conversation; for +every man talks most of what he has most a mind to be thought to excel +in. Touch him but there, and you touch him to the quick. The late Sir +Robert Walpole (who was certainly an able man) was little open to +flattery upon that head; for he was in no doubt himself about it; but his +prevailing weakness was, to be thought to have a polite and happy turn to +gallantry; of which he had undoubtedly less than any man living: it was +his favorite and frequent subject of conversation: which proved, to those +who had any penetration, that it was his prevailing weakness. And they +applied to it with success. + +Women have, in general, but one object, which is their beauty; upon +which, scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow. Nature has +hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible to flattery upon her +person; if her face is so shocking, that she must in some degree, be +conscious of it, her figure and her air, she trusts, make ample amends +for it. If her figure is deformed, her face, she thinks, counterbalances +it. If they are both bad, she comforts herself that she has graces; a +certain manner; a 'je ne sais quoi,' still more engaging than beauty. +This truth is evident, from the studied and elaborate dress of the +ugliest women in the world. An undoubted, uncontested, conscious +beauty, is of all women, the least sensible of flattery upon that head; +she knows that it is her due, and is therefore obliged to nobody for +giving it her. She must be flattered upon her understanding; which, +though she may possibly not doubt of herself, yet she suspects that men +may distrust. + +Do not mistake me, and think that I mean to recommend to you abject and +criminal flattery: no; flatter nobody's vices or crimes: on the contrary, +abhor and discourage them. But there is no living in the world without a +complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses, and innocent, though +ridiculous vanities. If a man has a mind to be thought wiser, and a +woman handsomer than they really are, their error is a comfortable one to +themselves, and an innocent one with regard to other people; and I would +rather make them my friends, by indulging them in it, than my enemies, +by endeavoring (and that to no purpose) to undeceive them. + +There are little attentions likewise, which are infinitely engaging, +and which sensibly affect that degree of pride and self-love, which is +inseparable from human nature; as they are unquestionable proofs of the +regard and consideration which we have for the person to whom we pay +them. As, for example, to observe the little habits, the likings, the +antipathies, and the tastes of those whom we would gain; and then take +care to provide them with the one, and to secure them from the other; +giving them, genteelly, to understand, that you had observed that they +liked such a dish, or such a room; for which reason you had prepared it: +or, on the contrary, that having observed they had an aversion to such a +dish, a dislike to such a person, etc., you had taken care to avoid +presenting them. Such attention to such trifles flatters self-love much +more than greater things, as it makes people think themselves almost the +only objects of your thoughts and care. + +These are some of the arcana necessary for your initiation in the great +society of the world. I wish I had known them better at your age; I have +paid the price of three-and-fifty years for them, and shall not grudge +it, if you reap the advantage. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XVIII + +LONDON, October 30, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I am very well pleased with your 'Itinerarium,' which you sent +me from Ratisbon. It shows me that you observe and inquire as you go, +which is the true end of traveling. Those who travel heedlessly from +place to place, observing only their distance from each other, and +attending only to their accommodation at the inn at night, set out fools, +and will certainly return so. Those who only mind the raree-shows of the +places which they go through, such as steeples, clocks, town-houses, +etc., get so little by their travels, that they might as well stay at +home. But those who observe, and inquire into the situations, the +strength, the weakness, the trade, the manufactures, the government, and +constitution of every place they go to; who frequent the best companies, +and attend to their several manners and characters; those alone travel +with advantage; and as they set out wise, return wiser. + +I would advise you always to get the shortest description or history of +every place where you make any stay; and such a book, however imperfect, +will still suggest to you matter for inquiry; upon which you may get +better informations from the people of the place. For example; while you +are at Leipsig, get some short account (and to be sure there are many +such) of the present state of the town, with regard to its magistrates, +its police, its privileges, etc., and then inform yourself more minutely +upon all those heads in, conversation with the most intelligent people. +Do the same thing afterward with regard to the Electorate of Saxony: you +will find a short history of it in Puffendorf's Introduction, which will +give you a general idea of it, and point out to you the proper objects of +a more minute inquiry. In short, be curious, attentive, inquisitive, as +to everything; listlessness and indolence are always blameable, but, at +your age, they are unpardonable. Consider how precious, and how +important for all the rest of your life, are your moments for these next +three or four years; and do not lose one of them. Do not think I mean +that you should study all day long; I am far from advising or desiring +it: but I desire that you would be doing something or other all day long; +and not neglect half hours and quarters of hours, which, at the, year's +end, amount to a great sum. For instance, there are many short intervals +during the day, between studies and pleasures: instead of sitting idle +and yawning, in those intervals, take up any book, though ever so +trifling a one, even down to a jest-book; it is still better than doing +nothing. + +Nor do I call pleasures idleness, or time lost, provided they are the +pleasures of a rational being; on the contrary, a certain portion of your +time, employed in those pleasures, is very usefully employed. Such are +public spectacles, assemblies of good company, cheerful suppers, and even +balls; but then, these require attention, or else your time is quite +lost. + +There are a great many people, who think themselves employed all day, +and who, if they were to cast up their accounts at night, would find +that they had done just nothing. They have read two or three hours +mechanically, without attending to what they read, and consequently +without either retaining it, or reasoning upon it. From thence they +saunter into company, without taking any part in it, and without +observing the characters of the persons, or the subjects of the +conversation; but are either thinking of some trifle, foreign to the +present purpose, or often not thinking at all; which silly and idle +suspension of thought they would dignify with the name of ABSENCE and +DISTRACTION. They go afterward, it may be, to the play, where they gape +at the company and the lights; but without minding the very thing they +went to, the play. + +Pray do you be as attentive to your pleasures as to your studies. In +the latter, observe and reflect upon all you read; and, in the former, +be watchful and attentive to all that you see and. hear; and never have +it to say, as a thousand fools do, of things that were said and done +before their faces, that, truly, they did not mind them, because they +were thinking of something else. Why were they thinking of something +else? and if they were, why did they come there? The truth is, that the +fools were thinking of nothing. Remember the 'hoc age,' do what you are +about, be what it will; it is either worth doing well, or not at all. +Wherever you are, have (as the low vulgar expression is) your ears and +your eyes about you. Listen to everything that is said, and see +everything that is done. Observe the looks and countenances of those who +speak, which is often a surer way of discovering the truth than from what +they say. But then keep all those observations to yourself, for your own +private use, and rarely communicate them to others. Observe, without +being thought an observer, for otherwise people will be upon their guard +before you. + +Consider seriously, and follow carefully, I beseech you, my dear child, +the advice which from time to time I have given, and shall continue to +give you; it is at once the result of my long experience, and the effect +of my tenderness for you. I can have no interest in it but yours. +You are not yet capable of wishing yourself half so well as I wish you; +follow therefore, for a time at least, implicitly, advice which you +cannot suspect, though possibly you may not yet see the particular +advantages of it; but you will one day feel them. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XIX + +LONDON, November 6, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: Three mails are now due from Holland, so that I have no letter +from you to acknowledge; I write to you, therefore, now, as usual, by way +of flapper, to put you in mind of yourself. Doctor Swift, in his account +of the island of Laputa, describes some philosophers there who were so +wrapped up and absorbed in their abstruse speculations, that they would +have forgotten all the common and necessary duties of life, if they had +not been reminded of them by persons who flapped them, whenever they +observed them continue too long in any of those learned trances. I do +not indeed suspect you of being absorbed in abstruse speculations; but, +with great submission to you, may I not suspect that levity, inattention, +and too little thinking, require a flapper, as well as too deep thinking? +If my letters should happen to get to you when you are sitting by the +fire and doing nothing, or when you are gaping at the window, may they +not be very proper flaps, to put you in mind that you might employ your +time much better? I knew once a very covetous, sordid fellow, who used +frequently to say, "Take care of the pence; for the pounds will take care +of themselves." This was a just and sensible reflection in a miser. +I recommend to you to take care of the minutes; for hours will take care +of themselves. I am very sure, that many people lose two or three hours +every day, by not taking care of the minutes. Never think any portion of +time whatsoever too short to be employed; something or other may always +be done in it. + +While you are in Germany, let all your historical studies be relative to +Germany; not only the general history of the empire as a collective body; +but the respective electorates, principalities, and towns; and also the +genealogy of the most considerable families. A genealogy is no trifle in +Germany; and they would rather prove their two-and-thirty quarters, than +two-and-thirty cardinal virtues, if there were so many. They are not of +Ulysses' opinion, who says very truly, + + ----Genus et proavos, et qua non fecimus ipsi; + Vix ea nostra voco. + + Good night. + + + + + +LETTER XX + +LONDON, November 24, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: As often as I write to you (and that you know is pretty often), +so often I am in doubt whether it is to any purpose, and whether it is +not labor and paper lost. This entirely depends upon the degree of +reason and reflection which you are master of, or think proper to exert. +If you give yourself time to think, and have sense enough to think right, +two reflections must necessarily occur to you; the one is, that I have a +great deal of experience, and that you have none: the other is, that I am +the only man living who cannot have, directly or indirectly, any interest +concerning you, but your own. From which two undeniable principles, the +obvious and necessary conclusion is, that you ought, for your own sake, +to attend to and follow my advice. + +If, by the application which I recommend to you, you acquire great +knowledge, you alone are the gainer; I pay for it. If you should deserve +either a good or a bad character, mine will be exactly what it is now, +and will neither be the better in the first case, nor worse in the +latter. You alone will be the gainer or the loser. + +Whatever your pleasures may be, I neither can nor shall envy you them, +as old people are sometimes suspected by young people to do; and I shall +only lament, if they should prove such as are unbecoming a man of honor, +or below a man of sense. But you will be the real sufferer, if they are +such. As therefore, it is plain that I can have no other motive than +that of affection in whatever I say to you, you ought to look upon me as +your best, and, for some years to come, your only friend. + +True friendship requires certain proportions of age and manners, and can +never subsist where they are extremely different, except in the relations +of parent and child, where affection on one side, and regard on the +other, make up the difference. The friendship which you may contract +with people of your own age may be sincere, may be warm; but must be, +for some time, reciprocally unprofitable, as there can be no experience +on either side. The young leading the young, is like the blind leading +the blind; (they will both fall into the ditch.) The only sure guide is, +he who has often gone the road which you want to go. Let me be that +guide; who have gone all roads, and who can consequently point out to you +the best. If you ask me why I went any of the bad roads myself, I will +answer you very truly, That it was for want of a good guide: ill example +invited me one way, and a good guide was wanting to show me a better. +But if anybody, capable of advising me, had taken the same pains with me, +which I have taken, and will continue to take with you, I should have +avoided many follies and inconveniences, which undirected youth run me +into. My father was neither desirous nor able to advise me; which is +what, I hope, you cannot say of yours. You see that I make use, only of +the word advice; because I would much rather have the assent of your +reason to my advice, than the submission of your will to my, authority. +This, I persuade myself, will happen, from that degree of sense which I +think you have; and therefore I will go on advising, and with hopes of +success. + +You are now settled for some time at Leipsig; the principal object of +your stay there is the knowledge of books and sciences; which if you do +not, by attention and application, make yourself master of while you are +there, you will be ignorant of them all the rest of your life; and, take +my word for it, a life of ignorance is not only a very contemptible, but +a very tiresome one. Redouble your attention, then, to Mr. Harte, in +your private studies of the 'Literae Humaniores,' especially Greek. +State your difficulties, whenever you have any; and do not suppress them, +either from mistaken shame, lazy indifference, or in order to have done +the sooner. Do the same when you are at lectures with Professor Mascow, +or any other professor; let nothing pass till you are sure that you +understand it thoroughly; and accustom yourself to write down the capital +points of what you learn. When you have thus usefully employed your +mornings, you may, with a safe conscience, divert yourself in the +evenings, and make those evenings very useful too, by passing them in +good company, and, by observation and attention, learning as much of the +world as Leipsig can teach you. You will observe and imitate the manners +of the people of the best fashion there; not that they are (it may be) +the best manners in the world; but because they are the best manners of +the place where you are, to which a man of sense always conforms. The +nature of things (as I have often told you) is always and everywhere the +same; but the modes of them vary more or less, in every country; and an +easy and genteel conformity to them, or rather the assuming of them at +proper times, and in proper places, is what particularly constitutes a +man of the world, and a well-bred man. + +Here is advice enough, I think, and too much, it may be, you will think, +for one letter; if you follow it, you will get knowledge, character, and +pleasure by it; if you do not, I only lose 'operam et oleum,' which, in +all events, I do not grudge you. + +I send you, by a person who sets out this day for Leipsig, a small packet +from your Mamma, containing some valuable things which you left behind, +to which I have added, by way of new-year's gift, a very pretty tooth- +pick case; and, by the way, pray take great care of your teeth, and keep +them extremely clean. I have likewise sent you the Greek roots, lately +translated into English from the French of the Port Royal. Inform +yourself what the Port Royal is. To conclude with a quibble: I hope you +will not only feed upon these Greek roots, but likewise digest them +perfectly. Adieu. + + + + +LETTER XXI + +LONDON, December 15, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR Boy: There is nothing which I more wish that you should know, and +which fewer people do know, than the true use and value of time. It is +in everybody's mouth; but in few people's practice. Every fool, who +slatterns away his whole time in nothings, utters, however, some trite +commonplace sentence, of which there are millions, to prove, at once, the +value and the fleetness of time. The sun-dials, likewise all over +Europe, have some ingenious inscription to that effect; so that nobody +squanders away their time, without hearing and seeing, daily, how +necessary it is to employ it well, and how irrecoverable it is if lost. +But all these admonitions are useless, where there is not a fund of good +sense and reason to suggest them, rather than receive them. By the +manner in which you now tell me that you employ your time, I flatter +myself that you have that fund; that is the fund which will make you rich +indeed. I do not, therefore, mean to give you a critical essay upon the +use and abuse of time; but I will only give you some hints with regard to +the use of one particular period of that long time which, I hope, you +have before you; I mean, the next two years. Remember, then, that +whatever knowledge you do not solidly lay the foundation of before you +are eighteen, you will never be the master of while you breathe. +Knowledge is a comfortable and necessary retreat and shelter for us in an +advanced age; and if we do not plant it while young, it will give us no +shade when we grow old. I neither require nor expect from you great +application to books, after you are once thrown out into the great world. +I know it is impossible; and it may even, in some cases, be improper; +this, therefore, is your time, and your only time, for unwearied and +uninterrupted application. If you should sometimes think it a little +laborious, consider that labor is the unavoidable fatigue of a necessary +journey. The more hours a day you travel, the sooner you will be at your +journey's end. The sooner you are qualified for your liberty, the sooner +you shall have it; and your manumission will entirely depend upon the +manner in which you employ the intermediate time. I think I offer you a +very good bargain, when I promise you, upon my word, that if you will do +everything that I would have you do, till you are eighteen, I will do +everything that you would have me do ever afterward. + +I knew a gentleman, who was so good a manager of his time, that he would +not even lose that small portion of it, which the calls of nature obliged +him to pass in the necessary-house; but gradually went through all the +Latin poets, in those moments. He bought, for example, a common edition +of Horace, of which he tore off gradually a couple of pages, carried them +with him to that necessary place, read them first, and then sent them +down as a sacrifice to Cloacina: this was so much time fairly gained; +and I recommend you to follow his example. It is better than only doing +what you cannot help doing at those moments; and it will made any book, +which you shall read in that manner, very present in your mind. Books of +science, and of a grave sort, must be read with continuity; but there are +very many, and even very useful ones, which may be read with advantage by +snatches, and unconnectedly; such are all the good Latin poets, except +Virgil in his "AEneid": and such are most of the modern poets, in which +you will find many pieces worth reading, that will not take up above +seven or eight minutes. Bayle's, Moreri's, and other dictionaries, are +proper books to take and shut up for the little intervals of (otherwise) +idle time, that everybody has in the course of the day, between either +their studies or their pleasures. Good night. + + + + +LETTER XXII + +LONDON, December 18, O. S. 1747. + +DEAR Boy: As two mails are now due from Holland, + +I have no letters of yours, or Mr. Harte's to acknowledge; so that this +letter is the effect of that 'scribendi cacoethes,' which my fears, my +hopes, and my doubts, concerning you give me. When I have wrote you a +very long letter upon any subject, it is no sooner gone, but I think I +have omitted something in it, which might be of use to you; and then I +prepare the supplement for the next post: or else some new subject occurs +to me, upon which I fancy I can give you some informations, or point out +some rules which may be advantageous to you. This sets me to writing +again, though God knows whether to any purpose or not; a few years more +can only ascertain that. But, whatever my success may be, my anxiety and +my care can only be the effects of that tender affection which I have for +you; and which you cannot represent to yourself greater than it really +is. But do not mistake the nature of that affection, and think it of a +kind that you may with impunity abuse. It is not natural affection, +there being in reality no such thing; for, if there were, some inward +sentiment must necessarily and reciprocally discover the parent to the +child, and the child to the parent, without any exterior indications, +knowledge, or acquaintance whatsoever; which never happened since the +creation of the world, whatever poets, romance, and novel writers, and +such sentiment-mongers, may be pleased to say to the contrary. Neither +is my affection for you that of a mother, of which the only, or at least +the chief objects, are health and life: I wish you them both most +heartily; but, at the same time, I confess they are by no means my +principal care. + +My object is to have you fit to live; which, if you are not, I do not +desire that you should live at all. My affection for you then is, and +only will be, proportioned to your merit; which is the only affection +that one rational being ought to have for another. Hitherto I have +discovered nothing wrong in your heart, or your head: on the contrary +I think I see sense in the one, and sentiments in the other. This +persuasion is the only motive of my present affection; which will either +increase or diminish, according to your merit or demerit. If you have +the knowledge, the honor, and probity, which you may have, the marks and +warmth of my affection shall amply reward them; but if you have them not, +my aversion and indignation will rise in the same proportion; and, in +that case, remember, that I am under no further obligation, than to give +you the necessary means of subsisting. If ever we quarrel, do not expect +or depend upon any weakness in my nature, for a reconciliation, +as children frequently do, and often meet with, from silly parents; +I have no such weakness about me: and, as I will never quarrel with you +but upon some essential point; if once we quarrel, I will never forgive. +But I hope and believe, that this declaration (for it is no threat) will +prove unnecessary. You are no stranger to the principles of virtue; and, +surely, whoever knows virtue must love it. As for knowledge, you have +already enough of it, to engage you to acquire more. The ignorant only, +either despise it, or think that they have enough: those who have the +most are always the most desirous to have more, and know that the most +they can have is, alas! but too little. + +Reconsider, from time to time, and retain the friendly advice which I +send you. The advantage will be all your own. + + + + +LETTER XXIII + +LONDON, December 29, O. S. 1747 + +DEAR BOY: I have received two letters from you of the 17th and 22d, +N. S., by the last of which I find that some of mine to you must have +miscarried; for I have never been above two posts without writing to you +or to Mr. Harte, and even very long letters. I have also received a +letter from Mr. Harte, which gives me great satisfaction: it is full of +your praises; and he answers for you, that, in two years more, you will +deserve your manumission, and be fit to go into the world, upon a footing +that will do you honor, and give me pleasure. + +I thank you for your offer of the new edition of 'Adamus Adami,' but I do +not want it, having a good edition of it at present. When you have read +that, you will do well to follow it with Pere Bougeant's 'Histoire du +Traite de Munster,' in two volumes quarto; which contains many important +anecdotes concerning that famous treaty, that are not in Adamus Adami. + +You tell me that your lectures upon the 'Jus Publicum' will be ended at +Easter; but then I hope that Monsieur Mascow will begin them again; +for I would not have you discontinue that study one day while you are at +Leipsig. I suppose that Monsieur Mascow will likewise give you lectures +upon the 'Instrumentum Pacis,' and upon the capitulations of the late +emperors. Your German will go on of course; and I take it for granted +that your stay at Leipsig will make you a perfect master of that +language, both as to speaking and writing; for remember, that knowing any +language imperfectly, is very little better than not knowing it at all: +people being as unwilling to speak in a language which they do not +possess thoroughly, as others are to hear them. Your thoughts are +cramped, and appear to great disadvantage, in any language of which you +are not perfect master. Let modern history share part of your time, +and that always accompanied with the maps of the places in question; +geography and history are very imperfect separately, and, to be useful, +must be joined. + +Go to the Duchess of Courland's as often as she and your leisure will +permit. The company of women of fashion will improve your manners, +though not your understanding; and that complaisance and politeness, +which are so useful in men's company, can only be acquired in women's. + +Remember always, what I have told you a thousand times, that all the +talents in the world will want all their lustre, and some part of their +use too, if they are not adorned with that easy good-breeding, that +engaging manner, and those graces, which seduce and prepossess people in +your favor at first sight. A proper care of your person is by no means +to be neglected; always extremely clean; upon proper occasions fine. +Your carriage genteel, and your motions graceful. Take particular care +of your manner and address, when you present yourself in company. Let +them be respectful without meanness, easy without too much familiarity, +genteel without affectation, and insinuating without any seeming art or +design. + +You need not send me any more extracts of the German constitution; which, +by the course of your present studies, I know you must soon be acquainted +with; but I would now rather that your letters should be a sort of +journal of your own life. As, for instance, what company you keep, +what new acquaintances you make, what your pleasures are; with your own +reflections upon the whole: likewise what Greek and Latin books you read +and understand. Adieu! + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Attention and civility please all +Avoid singularity +Blindness of the understanding is as much to be pitied +Choose your pleasures for yourself +Civility, which is a disposition to accommodate and oblige others +Complaisant indulgence for people's weaknesses +Contempt +Disagreeable to seem reserved, and very dangerous not to be so +Do as you would be done by +Do what you are about +Dress well, and not too well +Dressed like the reasonable people of your own age +Easy without too much familiarity +Employ your whole time, which few people do +Exalt the gentle in woman and man--above the merely genteel +Eyes and ears open and mouth mostly shut +Fit to live--or not live at all +Flexibility of manners is necessary in the course of the world +Genteel without affectation +Geography and history are very imperfect separately +Good-breeding +Gratitude not being universal, nor even common +Greatest fools are the greatest liars +He that is gentil doeth gentil deeds +If once we quarrel, I will never forgive +Injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult +Judge of every man's truth by his degree of understanding +Knowing any language imperfectly +Knowledge: either despise it, or think that they have enough +Labor is the unavoidable fatigue of a necessary journey +Let nothing pass till you understand it +Life of ignorance is not only a very contemptible, but tiresome +Listlessness and indolence are always blameable +Make a great difference between companions and friends +Make himself whatever he pleases, except a good poet +Merit and good-breeding will make their way everywhere +Never maintain an argument with heat and clamor +Observe, without being thought an observer +Only doing one thing at a time +Pay them with compliments, but not with confidence +Pleasure is the rock which most young people split upon +Pride of being the first of the company +Real friendship is a slow grower +Receive them with great civility, but with great incredulity +Recommend it(pleasure) to you, like an Epicurean +Respectful without meanness, easy without too much familiarity +Scarce any flattery is too gross for them to swallow +Sentiment-mongers +State your difficulties, whenever you have any +Studied and elaborate dress of the ugliest women in the world +Sure guide is, he who has often gone the road which you want to +Talk of natural affection is talking nonsense +TELL ME WHO YOU LIVE WITH AND I WILL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE +Thing so precious as time, and so irrecoverable when lost +True use and value of time +Unguarded frankness +Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well +Wrapped up and absorbed in their abstruse speculations +Young leading the young, is like the blind leading the blind + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Letters to His Son, 1746-47 +by The Earl of Chesterfield + diff --git a/old/lc01s11.zip b/old/lc01s11.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9f7b80 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/lc01s11.zip |