initial commit of ebook 33537HEADmain

1 files changed, 13935 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/33537.txt b/33537.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..aa3c45f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/33537.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,13935 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Life on the Stage, by Clara Morris
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Life on the Stage
+
+Author: Clara Morris
+
+Release Date: August 26, 2010 [EBook #33537]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE ON THE STAGE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+Life on the Stage
+
+
+_Previous Books by Clara Morris_
+
+The Silent Singer
+
+Little Jim Crow
+
+[Illustration: Frontispiece, photograph of Clara Morris]
+
+
+
+
+CLARA MORRIS
+
+Life on the Stage
+
+My Personal Experiences and Recollections
+
+New York
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+MCMII
+
+_Copyright, 1901, by_ S. S. MCCLURE CO.
+
+_1901, by_ CLARA MORRIS HARRIOTT
+
+FIFTH IMPRESSION
+
+
+
+
+  In memory of a labor shared, I affectionately dedicate this
+  book to my husband.
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+
+CHAPTER FIRST--I am Born
+
+CHAPTER SECOND--Beginning Early, I Learn Love, Fear, and Hunger--I Become
+Acquainted with Letters, and Alas! I Lose One of my Two Illusions
+
+CHAPTER THIRD--I Enter a New World--I Know a New Hunger and we Return to
+Cleveland
+
+CHAPTER FOURTH--I am Led into the Theatre--I Attend Rehearsals--I am Made
+Acquainted with the Vagaries of Tights
+
+CHAPTER FIFTH--I Receive my First Salary--I am Engaged for the Coming
+Season
+
+CHAPTER SIXTH--The Regular Season Opens--I have a Small Part to Play--I
+am among Lovers of Shakespeare--I too Stand at his Knee and Fall under
+the Charm
+
+CHAPTER SEVENTH--I find I am in a "Family Theatre"--I Fare Forth away
+from my Mother, and in Columbus I Shelter under the wing of Mrs. Bradshaw
+
+CHAPTER EIGHTH--I Display my New Knowledge--I Return to Cleveland to Face
+my First Theatrical Vacation, and I Know the very Tragedy of Littleness
+
+CHAPTER NINTH--The Season Reopens--I meet the Yellow Breeches and become
+a Utility Man--Mr. Murdock Escapes Fits and my "Luck" Proves to be Extra
+Work
+
+CHAPTER TENTH--With Mr. Dan. Setchell I Win Applause--A Strange
+Experience comes to Me--I Know Both Fear and Ambition--The Actress is
+Born at Last
+
+CHAPTER ELEVENTH--My Promiscuous Reading wins me a Glass of Soda--The
+Stage takes up my Education and Leads me through Many Pleasant Places
+
+CHAPTER TWELFTH--The Peter Richings' Engagement brings me my First Taste
+of Slander--Anent the Splendor of my Wardrobe, also my First Newspaper
+Notice
+
+CHAPTER THIRTEENTH--Mr. Roberts Refers to Me as "That Young Woman," to My
+Great Joy--I Issue the "Clara Code"--I Receive my First Offer of Marriage
+
+CHAPTER FOURTEENTH--Mr. Wilkes Booth comes to us, the whole Sex Loves
+him--Mr. Ellsler Compares him to his Great Father--Our Grief and Horror
+over the Awful Tragedy at Washington
+
+CHAPTER FIFTEENTH--Mr. R. E. J. Miles--His two Horses and our Woful
+Experience with the Substitute "Wild Horse of Tartary"
+
+CHAPTER SIXTEENTH--I perform a Remarkable Feat, I Study _King Charles_ in
+One Afternoon and Play Without a Rehearsal--Mrs. D. P. Bowers makes Odd
+Revelation
+
+CHAPTER SEVENTEENTH--Through Devotion to my Friend, I Jeopardize my
+Reputation--I Own a Baby on Shares--Miss Western's Pathetic Speech
+
+CHAPTER EIGHTEENTH--Mr. Charles W. Couldock--His Daughter Eliza and his
+Many Peculiarities
+
+CHAPTER NINETEENTH--I Come to a Turning-Point in my Dramatic Life--I play
+my First Crying Part with Miss Sallie St. Clair
+
+CHAPTER TWENTIETH--I have to pass through Bitter Humiliation to win High
+Encomiums from Herr Bandmann; while Edwin Booth's Kindness Fills the
+Theatre with Pink Clouds, and I Float Thereon
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-FIRST--I Digress, but I Return to the Columbus Engagement
+of Mr. and Mrs. Charles Kean--Their Peculiarities and their Work
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-SECOND--I hear Mrs. Kean's Story of Wolsey's Robe--I laugh
+at an Extravagantly Kind Prophecy
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-THIRD--Mr. E. L. Davenport, his Interference, his Lecture
+on Stage Business, his Error of Memory or too Powerful Imagination--Why I
+remain a Dramatic Old Slipper--Contemptuous Words arouse in me a Dogged
+Determination to become a Leading Woman before leaving Cleveland
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-FOURTH--I recall the Popularity and too early Death of
+Edwin Adams
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-FIFTH--I See an Actress Dethroned--I make myself a
+Promise, for the World does Move
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-SIXTH--Mr. Lawrence Barrett the Brilliant and his Brother
+Joseph the Unfortunate
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVENTH--I Play "Marie" to Oblige--Mr. Barrett's
+Remarkable Call--Did I Receive a Message from the Dying or the Dead?
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHTH--I accept an Engagement with Mr. Macaulay for
+Cincinnati as Leading Lady--My Adieus to Cleveland--Mr. Ellsler Presents
+Me with a Watch
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-NINTH--My first Humiliating Experience in Cincinnati is
+Followed by a Successful Appearance--I Make the Acquaintance of the
+Enthusiastic Navoni
+
+CHAPTER THIRTIETH--New York City is Suggested to Me by Mr. Worthington
+and Mr. Johnson--Mr. Ellsler's Mild Assistance--I Journey to New York,
+and Return to Cincinnati with Signed Contract from Mr. Daly
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-FIRST--John Cockerill and our Eccentric Engagement--I Play
+a Summer Season at Halifax--Then to New York, and to House-Keeping at
+Last
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-SECOND--I Recall Mr. John E. Owens, and How He "Settled my
+Hash"
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-THIRD--From the "Wild West" I Enter the Eastern "Parlor of
+Home Comedy"--I Make my First Appearance in "Man and Wife"
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-FOURTH--I Rehearse Endlessly--I Grow Sick with Dread--I
+Meet with Success in _Anne Sylvester_
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-FIFTH--I Am Accepted by the Company--I am Warned against
+Mr. Fisk--I Have an Odd Encounter with Mr. Gould
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-SIXTH--A Search for Tears--I Am Punished in "Saratoga"
+for the Success of "Man and Wife"--I Win Mr. Daly's Confidence--We Become
+Friends
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVENTH--A Study of Stage-Management--I Am Tricked into
+Signing a New Contract
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHTH--I Go to the Sea-shore--The Search for a "Scar"--I
+Make a Study of Insanity, and Meet with Success in "L'Article 47"
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-NINTH--I Am too Dull to Understand a Premonition--By Mr.
+Daly's Side I See the Destruction of the Fifth Avenue Theatre by Fire
+
+CHAPTER FORTIETH--We Become "Barn-stormers," and Return to Open the New
+Theatre--Our Astonishing Misunderstanding of "Alixe," which Proves a
+Great Triumph
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-FIRST--Trouble about Obnoxious Lines in "Madeline
+Morel"--Mr. Daly's Manipulation of Father X: In Spite of our Anxiety the
+Audience accepts the Situation and the Play--Mr. Daly gives me the
+smallest Dog in New York
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-SECOND--I am Engaged to Star part of the Season--Mr. Daly
+Breaks his Contract--I Leave him and under Threat of Injunction--I meet
+Mr. Palmer and make Contract and appear at the Union Square in the
+"Wicked World"
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-THIRD--We Give a Charity Performance of "Camille," and Are
+Struck with Amazement at our Success--Mr. Palmer Takes the Cue and
+Produces "Camille" for Me at the Union Square
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-FOURTH--"Miss Multon" Put in Rehearsal--Our Squabble over
+the Manner of her Death--Great Success of the Play--Mr. Palmer's Pride in
+it--My _Au Revoir_
+
+
+
+
+LIFE ON THE STAGE
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FIRST
+
+  I am Born.
+
+
+If this simple tale is to be told at all, it may as well begin at the
+beginning and in the good old-fashioned and best of all ways--thus: Once
+upon a time in the Canadian city of Toronto, on the 17th of March, the
+sun rose bright and clear--which was a most surprising thing for the sun
+to do on St. Patrick's Day, but while the people were yet wondering over
+it the sunlight disappeared, clouds of dull gray spread themselves evenly
+over the sky, and then the snow fell--fell fast and furious, quickly
+whitening the streets and house-tops, softly lining every hollow, and was
+piling little cushions on top of all the hitching-posts, when the flakes
+grew larger, wetter, farther apart, and after a little hesitation turned
+to rain--a sort of walk-trot-gallop rain, which wound up with one vivid
+flash of lightning and a clap of thunder that fairly shook the city.
+
+Now the Irish, being a brave people and semi-amphibious, pay no heed to
+wet weather. Usually all the Hibernians residing in a city divide
+themselves into two bodies on St. Patrick's Day, the ones who parade and
+the ones who follow the parade; but on this occasion they divided
+themselves into three bodies--the men who paraded, the men and women who
+followed the parade, and the Orangemen who made things pleasant for both
+parties.
+
+As the out-of-time, out-of-tune band turned into a quiet cross-street to
+lead its following green-bannered host to a broader one, the first brick
+was thrown--probably by a woman, as it hit no one, but metaphorically it
+knocked the chip off of the shoulder of every child of Erin. Down fell
+the banners, up went the fists! Orange and Green were at each other tooth
+and nail! Hats from prehistoric ages side by side with modern beavers
+scarcely fifty years old received the hurled brick-bat and went down
+together!
+
+The band reached the broad avenue alone, and looked back to see the short
+street a-sway with struggling men, while women holding their bedraggled
+petticoats up, their bonnets hanging down their backs by green ribbon
+ties, hovered about the edges of the crowd, making predatory dashes now
+and then to scratch a face or rescue some precious hat from the melee,
+meanwhile inciting the men to madness by their fierce cries--and in a
+quiet house, in the very midst of this riot--just before the constabulary
+charged the crowd--I was born. I don't know, of course, whether I was
+really intended from the first for that house, or whether the stork
+became so frightened at the row in the street that he just dropped me
+from sheer inability to carry me any farther--anyway, I came to a house
+where trouble and poverty had preceded me, and, worse than both these put
+together--treachery.
+
+Still, I accepted the situation with indifference. That the cupboard
+barely escaped absolute emptiness gave me no anxiety, as I had no teeth
+anyway. As a gentleman with a medicine-case in his hand was leaving the
+house he paused a moment for the slavey to finish washing away a pool of
+blood from the bottom step--and then there came that startling clap of
+thunder. Brand new as I was to this world and its ways, I entered my
+protest at once with such force and evident wrath that the doctor
+down-stairs exclaimed: "Our young lady has temper as well as a good pair
+of lungs!" and went on his way laughing.
+
+And so on that St. Patrick's Day of sunshine, snow, and rain, of riot and
+bloodshed, in trouble and poverty--I was born.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER SECOND
+
+  Beginning Early, I Learn Love, Fear, and Hunger--I Become Acquainted
+  with Letters, and Alas! I Lose One of my Two Illusions.
+
+
+Of the Days of St. Patrick that followed, not one found me in the city of
+my birth--indeed, six months completed my period of existence in the
+Dominion, and I have known it no more.
+
+Some may think it strange that I mention these early years at all, but
+the reason for such mention will appear later on. Looking back at them,
+they seem to divide themselves into groups of four years each. During the
+first four, my time was principally spent in growing and learning to keep
+out of people's way. I acquired some other knowledge, too, and little
+child as I was, I knew fear long before I knew the thing that frightened
+me. I knew that love for my mother which was to become the passion of my
+life, and I also knew hunger. But the fear was harder to endure than the
+hunger--it was so vague, yet so all-encompassing.
+
+We had to flit so often--suddenly, noiselessly. Often I was gently roused
+from my sleep at night and hastily dressed--sometimes simply wrapped up
+without being dressed, and carried through the dark to some other place
+of refuge, from--what? When I went out into the main business streets I
+had a tormenting barege veil over my face that would not let me see half
+the pretty things in the shop windows, and I was quick to notice that no
+other little girl had a veil on. Next I remarked that if a strange lady
+spoke to me my mother seemed pleased--but if a man noticed me she was not
+pleased, and once when a big man took me by the hand and led me to a
+candy store for some candy she was as white as could be and so angry she
+frightened me, and she promised me a severe punishment if I ever, ever
+went one step with a strange man again. And so my fear began to take the
+form of a man, of a big, smiling man--for my mother always asked, when I
+reported that a stranger had spoken to me, if he was big and smiling.
+
+I had known the sensation of hunger long before I knew the word that
+expressed it, and I often pressed my hands over my small empty stomach,
+and cried and pulled at my mother's dress skirt. If there was anything at
+all to give I received it, but sometimes there was absolutely nothing but
+a drink of water to offer, which checked the gnawing for a moment or two,
+and at those times there was a tightening of my mother's trembling lips,
+and a straight up and down wrinkle between her brows, that I grew to
+know, and when I saw that look on her face I could not ask for anything
+more than "a dwink, please."
+
+As an illustration of her almost savage pride and honesty: I one day saw
+a woman in front of the house buying some potatoes. I knew that potatoes
+cooked were very comforting to empty stomachs. One or two of them fell to
+the street during the measuring and I picked one up, and, fairly wild
+with delight, I scrambled up the stairs with it. But my mother was angry
+through and through.
+
+"Who gave it to you?" she demanded.
+
+I explained with a trembling voice: "I des' founded it on the very
+ground--and I'se so hungry!"
+
+But hungry or not hungry, I had to take the potato back: "Nothing in the
+world could be taken without asking--that was stealing--and she was the
+only person in the world I had a right to ask anything of!"
+
+It was a bitter lesson, and was rendered more so by the fact that when I
+carried the tear-bathed potato back to the street and laid it down,
+neither the woman who bought nor the man who sold was in sight--and, dear
+Heaven! I could almost have eaten it raw.
+
+But I was learning obedience and self-respect; more than that, I was
+already acquiring one of the necessary qualities for an actress--the
+power of close observation.
+
+The next four years (the second group) were the hardest to endure of them
+all. True, I now had sufficient food and warmth, since my mother had
+given up sewing for shops--which kept us nearly always hungry--and had
+found other occupations. But the great object of both our lives was to be
+together, and there are few people who are willing to employ a woman who
+has with her a child. And if her services are accepted, even at a reduced
+salary, it is necessary for that child to be as far as possible neither
+seen nor heard. Therefore until I was old enough to be admitted into a
+public school I never knew another child--I never played with any living
+creature save a remarkable cat, that seemed to have claws all over her,
+and in my fixed determination to trace her purr and find out where it
+came from, she buried those claws to the very last one in my fat,
+investigating little hands.
+
+Meantime my "fear" had assumed the shape and substance of a man, a man
+who bore a name that should have been loved and honored above all others,
+for this "bogey" of my baby days--this nightmare and dread--was my own
+father. When my mother had discovered his treachery--which had not
+hesitated to boldly face the very altar--she took her child and fled from
+him, assuming her mother's maiden name as a disguise. But go where she
+would, he followed and made scenes. Finally, understanding that she was
+not to be won back by sophistries, he offered to leave her in peace if
+she would give the child to him. And when that offer was indignantly
+rejected, he pleasantly informed her that he would make life a curse to
+her until she gave me up, and that by fair means or by foul he would
+surely obtain possession of me. Once he did kidnap me, but my mother had
+found friends by that time, and their pursuit was so swift and unexpected
+that he had to abandon me.
+
+So, he who should have been the defender and support of my mother--whose
+arms should have been our shelter from the world--the big, smiling
+French-Canadian father--became instead our terror and our dread.
+Therefore when my mother served in varying capacities in other people's
+homes, and I had to efface myself as nearly as possible, I dared not even
+go out to walk a little, so great was my mother's fear.
+
+It seems odd, but in spite of my far-reaching memory, I cannot remember
+when I learned to read. I can recall but one tiny incident relating to
+the subject of learning. I stood upon a chair and while my hair was
+brushed and braided I spelled my words, and I had my ears boxed--a custom
+considered criminal in these better days--because, having successfully
+spelled "elephant," I came to grief over "mouse," as, according to my
+judgment, m-o-w-s filled all the requirements of the case. I remember,
+too, that the punishment made me afraid to ask what "elephant" meant; but
+I received the impression that it was some sort of a public building.
+
+However, when I was six years old I joyfully betook myself to a primary
+school, from which I was sent home with a note, saying that "in that
+department they did not go beyond the 'primer,' and as this little girl
+reads quite well from a 'reader,' she must have been taught well at
+home." We were a proud yet disappointed pair, my mother and I, that day.
+
+An odd little incident occurred about that time. One of our hurried
+flights had ended at a boarding house, and my extreme quietude--unnatural
+in a child of health and intelligence--attracted the attention of a
+certain boarder, who was an actress. She was very popular with the
+public, and both she and her husband were well liked by the people about
+them. She took a fancy to me, and informing herself that my mother was
+poor and alone, she offered to adopt me. She stated her position, her
+income, and her intention of educating me thoroughly. She thought a
+convent school would be desirable--from ten, say to seventeen.
+
+Perhaps my mother was tempted--she was a fanatic on the question of
+learning--but, oh! what a big _but_ came in just then: "but when I should
+have, by God's will, reached the age of seventeen, she (the actress)
+would place me upon the stage."
+
+"Gracious Heaven! her child on the stage!" my mother was stricken with
+horror! She scarcely had strength to make her shocked refusal plain
+enough; and when her employer ventured to remonstrate with her, pointing
+out the great advantage to me, she made answer: "It would be better for
+her to starve trying to lead a clean and honorable life, than to be
+exposed to such publicity and such awful temptations!"
+
+Poor mother! the theatre was to her imagination but a beautiful vestibule
+leading to a place of wickedness and general wrong-doing!
+
+During those endless months, when I had each day to sit for hours and
+hours in one particular chair in a corner, well out of the way--sit so
+long that often when I was lifted down I could not stand at all, my limbs
+being numbed to absolute helplessness, I had two great days to dream of,
+to look forward to--Christmas and that wonderful 17th of March, when
+because it was my birthday all those nice gentlemen, with the funny hats
+and green collars, walked out behind the band. And I felt particularly
+well disposed toward those most amusing gentlemen who wore, according to
+my theory at least, their little girls' aprons tied about their big
+waists.
+
+I did not like so well the attendant crowd, but then I could not be
+selfish enough to keep people from looking at "my procession" and
+enjoying the music that made the blood dance in my own veins, even as my
+feet danced on the chill pavement.
+
+I always received an orange on that day from my mother, and almost always
+a book, so it was a great event in my life, and I used to get down my
+little hat-box and fix the laces in my best shoes days ahead of time that
+I might be ready to stand on some steps where I could bow and smile to
+the nice gentlemen who walked out in my honor. Heaven only knows how I
+got the idea that the procession was meant for me, but it made me very
+happy, and my heart was big with love and gratitude for those people who
+took so much trouble for me.
+
+I had but two illusions in the world--Santa Claus and "my
+procession"--but, alas! on my eighth birthday, when in an outburst of
+innocent triumph and joy I cried to a grown-up: "Ain't they good--those
+funny gentlemen--to come and march and play music for my birthday?" I was
+answered with the assurance that I "was a fool--that no one knew or cared
+a copper about me--that it was a Saint, a dead and gone man, they marched
+for!"
+
+All the dance went out of my feet, heavy tears fell fast and stood round
+and clear on the woolly surface of my cloak, and bending my head low to
+hide my disappointment, I went slowly home, where the chair seemed
+harder, the hours longer, and life more bare because I had lost the
+illusion that had brightened and glorified it.
+
+At the present time, here in my home, there is seated in an arm-chair, a
+venerable doll. She is a hideous specimen of the beautiful doll of the
+early "fifties." She sits with her soles well turned up, facing you, her
+arms hanging from her shoulders in that idiotically helpless
+"I-give-it-up" fashion peculiar to dolls. With bulging scarlet cheeks,
+button-hole mouth and flat, blue staring eyes she faces Time and
+unwinkingly looks him down. To anyone else she is stupidity personified,
+but to me she speaks, for she came to me on my fourth Christmas, and she
+is as gifted as she is ugly. Only last birthday--as I straightened out
+her old, old dress skirt--she asked me if I remembered how I cried, with
+my face in her lap, over that first loss of an illusion--and I told her
+quite truly that I remembered well!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRD
+
+  I Enter a New World--I Know a New Hunger and we Return to Cleveland.
+
+
+The experiences of the first two of my third group of years have
+influenced my entire life. Still flying from my seemingly ubiquitous
+father, my mother after a desperate struggle gained enough money to pay
+for our journey to what was then called the "far West"--namely, the
+southwestern part of Illinois. Child-fashion, I was delighted at the
+prospect of a change, and happy over the belief that I was going to some
+place where I could be free to go and come like other children, without
+dreading the appearance of a big, smiling man from any deep doorway or
+from around the next corner. To tell the truth, that persistent,
+indestructible smile always seemed an insult added to the injury of his
+malicious and revengeful conduct.
+
+Then, too, I experienced my first delicious thrill of imaginary terror.
+In a torn and abandoned old geography I had seen a picture labelled
+"Prairie." The grass was as high as a man's shoulders, and stealthily
+emerging from it was a sort of compound animal, neither tiger nor
+leopard, but with points of resemblance to both. And here every day I was
+listening to the grown-ups talking of "prairie lands," and how far we
+might have to drive across the prairie after leaving the train; and I
+made up my mind that I would hold our umbrella all the time, and when the
+uncertain beast came out I'd try to stick his eyes with it, and under
+cover of the confusion we would undoubtedly escape.
+
+That being settled, I could turn all my attention to preparations for
+the long journey. Dear me, I remember just where each big red rose came
+on the carpet-bag, and how sorry I was that the tiny brass lock came
+right in the side of one. It was a large bag and held a great deal, but
+was so arranged that whatever you wanted was always found at the
+bottom--whether it was the tooth-brush or a night-gown or a pair of
+rubbers. It had a sort of dividing wall of linen in its middle, and while
+one side held clothing, the other side was the commissary department. No
+buffet-cars then, travellers ran their own buffets, and though the things
+did not come into actual contact, there was not an article, big or
+little, in that bag that did not smell of pickles. And once when my
+mother had hastily attended to my needs in the miserable toilet-room of
+the car (no sleeper--just a sit-up-all-night affair), my clean stockings,
+white apron and little handkerchief all exhaled vinegar so strongly that
+I wrinkled up my nose, exclaiming: "I smell jes' like a pickled little
+girl--don't I, ma'ma?" And then, when weary and worn and dusty, we left
+the cars and had to drive some thirty miles, in a carriage of uncertain
+class, over the open prairie--then smooth and bright and green--I wearily
+remarked, after a time, that it was a "pretty big lawn, but where was the
+prairie?" for true to my plan I had secured the umbrella, and being told
+that I was crossing the prairie then, I was a bitterly disappointed young
+person. Oh, how I longed to give way to one of those passionate outbursts
+we so often see children indulge in! Oh, how I wanted to hurl aside the
+umbrella I had begged for, to fling my weary self down on the floor and
+cry, and cry! But I dared not--never in my whole life had I ventured on
+such an exhibition of temper or feeling--so I winked fast and held very
+still and swallowed hard at the disappointment, which was but the first
+of such a number of very bitter pills that I was yet to swallow.
+
+But, thank God! if I was easily cast down, I was as easily cheered; and
+the prairie left behind, the sight of the first orchard we passed, with
+the soft perfumed snow of the blossoms floating through the rosy sunset
+light, raised my spirits to an ecstasy of joy; and when our journey
+ended, at the rough farm-house, with my arm around the surly looking
+watch-dog, I stood and heard for the first time the mournful cry of the
+whippoorwill out in the star-pierced dark of the early May night, I
+thrilled with the unspoken consciousness that this was a new world that I
+was entering--a lovely, _lovely_ world, that the grown-ups called the
+"country"!
+
+For the two years I knew it the charm of that backwood life never palled.
+I had never seen the country before, and I found it a place of beauty and
+many marvels. I did not miss the fine city shops, for I never had had
+money to spend in them. I did not miss the people, for they had been
+nothing to me. And here no day that dawned failed to bring me some new
+experience. With what awed wonderment I faced the mystery of the
+springing grain. I saw the seed, hard and dry, fall into the furrowed
+earth and, a few days later, with gentle strength, tiny pale green spears
+come pricking through the brown. I learned not to look under the
+hickory-trees for the oak acorns that I adored. I was soon able to tell
+the rapidly forming furry green peaches from the smooth young apples, and
+I literally fell down upon my knees and worshipped before lambs, calves,
+and colts.
+
+In this new, strange life everyone worked, but they worked for
+themselves--to use a country expression, no one "hired out." I was a very
+little girl. I could not spin as could my mother, who had passed her
+childhood in backwood life. Of course I could not weave, but I was taught
+to knit my own stockings--such humpy, lumpy knitting! But I was very
+proud of the accomplishment, even though my mother did have to "turn the
+heel." Then, too, I with other children at planting-time dropped corn in
+the sun-warmed furrows, while a man followed behind with a hoe covering
+it up; and when it had sprouted and was a tempting morsel for certain
+black robbers of the field, I made a very active and energetic young
+scare-crow.
+
+Here, too, I became acquainted with children. They were all older than I
+was, a hearty, healthy, wisely-ignorant lot. They knew so much about
+farming and so little about anything else. Not one of them could tell a
+story out of the Bible, and as for the "Pilgrim's Progress," they had
+never heard tell of it; while Bunyan only meant to them an enlarged
+toe-joint--not a great author.
+
+The lack of reading matter was the one blemish on my country life. The
+library, composed of the Bible and the almanac, was not satisfying to my
+inquiring mind. One paper was taken in by the head of the family--it was
+a weekly, in every possible sense--but I came to watch eagerly for it,
+and it filled the family with amazement to see me sit down on the step
+and gravely wade through its dreary columns--happy if I could catch hold
+of some idea--some bit of news--some scrap of story; and my farmer host
+one day at his noon smoke removed his corn-cob pipe from his lips long
+enough to remark of me: "Dogorne my skin! if that young 'un ain't awake
+and enj'ien hersel'. Now I allers go ter sleep over that paper mysel'!"
+So should I--now--I presume.
+
+These children being for-true, real children had no idea of showing
+courtesy or politeness to a stranger, but they had a very natural
+yearning to get fun out of that stranger if they could, and so they
+blithely led me forth to a pasture shortly after our arrival at the farm,
+and catching a horse they hoisted me up on to its bare, slippery back. I
+have learned a good bit about horses since then--have hired, borrowed,
+and bought them--have been to circuses and horse shows, but never since
+have I seen a horse of such appalling aspect. His eyes were the size of
+soup-plates, large clouds of smoke came from his nostrils. He had a
+glass-enamelled surface, and if he was one half as tall as he felt, some
+museum manager missed a fortune. Then the young fiends, leaving me on my
+slippery perch, high up near the sky, drew afar off and stood over
+against the fence and gave me plenty of room--to fall off. But when I
+suddenly felt the world heave up beneath me, I uttered a wild
+shriek--clenched my hands in the animal's back hair, and, madly flinging
+propriety to any point of the compass that happened to be behind me, I
+cast one pantalet over the enamelled back, and thus astride, safely
+crossed the pasture--and lo! it was not I who fell, but their faces
+instead. When they came to take me down, somehow the animal seemed
+shrunken and I hesitated about leaving it, whereupon the biggest boy said
+I had "pluck" (I had been frightened nearly to death, but I always could
+be silent at the proper moment; I was silent then), and he would teach me
+to ride sideways, for my mother would surely punish me if I sat astride
+like that; and in a few weeks, thanks to him, I was the one who was
+oftenest trusted to take the horses to water at noon, riding sideways and
+always bare-back, mounted on one horse and leading a second to the creek,
+until all had had their drink. Which habit of riding--from balance--has
+made me quite independent of stirrups on various occasions since those
+far-away days.
+
+In the late autumn, these same children taught me where and when and how
+to find such treasures of the woods as hickory-nuts, chestnuts (rare
+there), butternuts, and pecan-nuts, while the thickets furnished
+hazel-nuts and the frost brought sweetness to the persimmon, and
+consequently pleasure to our palates, but never could I acquire a taste
+for the "paw-paw," that inane custard-like fruit, often called the
+American banana.
+
+I helped obtain the roots and barks and nut-shells from which the
+grown-ups made their dyes. I learned to use a bow and arrow; and on rainy
+days, having nothing new to read, I learned by heart the best chapters of
+my own birthday books, and often repeated them to the other children when
+we cuddled in the hayloft, above the horses.
+
+One day I became too realistic, and in my "flight from my step-mother's
+home" I fell through the hole where the hay was tossed down to old
+Jerry's manger. He was a serious-minded and kindly old horse, and did
+nothing worse than snort a little over the change in his diet, from hay
+to small girl. My severe bruises would have been borne with fortitude,
+but when I arose--behold a wretched wandering hen had been in the manger
+before me, and if one judged from the state of my clothing, the egg she
+had left behind must have been the size of a melon at least! If that
+seems an exaggeration, just break an egg in your pocket, if you don't
+care to sit down on one, and see how far it will spread. Then, indeed, I
+lifted my voice and wept!
+
+Yes, those were two precious years, in which I learned to love
+passionately the beauty of the world! The tender, mystic charm of dawn,
+the pomp and splendor of the setting of the sun! Finding in the tiny
+perfection of the velvety moss the minute repetition of the form and
+branching beauty of the stately tree at whose root it grew! Seeing all
+the beauty of the blue sky and its sailing clouds encompassed by a
+quivering drop of dew upon a mullein leaf I dimly felt some faint
+comprehension of the divine satisfaction when the Creator pronounced the
+work of His hands, "Good!"
+
+From the first my mother had been greatly distressed by the absence of
+any school to which I might go, and also by her inability to earn money.
+She had been wise enough not to leave Cleveland without sufficient means
+to bring us back again--which proved most fortunate. For when quite
+suddenly we heard of the published death of my father, we immediately
+returned and she obtained employment, while I was sent to the public
+school. But, oh, what a poor, meagre course of study I entered on.
+Reading, writing, spelling, arithmetic, and geography--that was all! Only
+one class in the grammar-school studied history. However, improvements
+were being discussed, and I remember that three weeks before my final
+withdrawal from school my mother had to buy me a book on physiology,
+which was to be taught to the children, who had not even a bowing
+acquaintance with grammar. But I hungered and thirsted for knowledge--I
+craved it--longed for it. During the weary years of repression I had
+fallen back upon imagination for amusement and comfort, and when I was
+ten my "thinks," as I then called my waking dreams, almost surely took
+one of these two forms. Since I had abandoned "thinks" about fairies
+coming to grant my wishes, I always walked out (in my best hat), and
+saved either an old lady or an old gentleman--sometimes one, sometimes
+the other--from some imminent peril--a sort of impressionist peril--vague
+but very terrible! and the rescued one was always tremblingly grateful
+and offered to reward me, and I always sternly refused to be rewarded,
+but unbent sufficiently to see the saved one safely to his or her
+splendid home. There I revelled in furniture, pictures, musical
+instruments and an assortment of beautiful dogs. On leaving this palatial
+residence I consented to give my address, and next day the "saved" called
+on my mother and after some conversation it was settled that I was to go
+to the convent-school for four years, where I knew the education was
+generous and thorough, and that languages, music, and painting were all
+taught. As these "thinks" took place at night after the ill-smelling
+extinguishment of the candle, I generally fell asleep before, in white
+robe and a crown of flowers, I gathered up all the prizes and diplomas
+and things I had earned.
+
+When my mother in the performance of her duties had to accept orders, she
+received them calmly and as a matter of course--whatever she may have
+felt in her heart--but I loved and reverenced her so! To me she was the
+one woman of the world; and when I saw her taking orders from another I
+flinched and shrank as I would have done beneath the sharp lash of a
+whip, and then for nights afterward (so soon as I had released my nose,
+tightly pinched to keep out the smell of candle-smoke), I settled down,
+with my mother's hand tight clasped in mine, to my other favorite
+"thinks" wherein I did some truly remarkable embroidery, of such
+precision of stitch, such perfection of coloring and shading, that when
+I offered it for sale I was much embarrassed by the numbers of would-be
+buyers. However, an old lady finally won me away from the store (that old
+lady was bound to appear in all my "thinks"), and I had to be very firm
+with her to keep her from over-paying me for the work of my hands.
+
+Then, as I had graciously promised the store-keeper any over-plus of
+embroidery not needed by the generous old person, I felt my income
+secure, and hastened to rent two rooms and furnish them, ready to take my
+astonished mother there--where she could do the ordering herself.
+
+I hung curtains, laid carpets, put dishes in the cupboard, gave one
+window to my mother and kept one for myself and my very exceptional
+embroidery; and, though I laugh now, I had then many an hour of genuine
+happiness, furnishing this imaginary home and refuge for the mother I
+loved!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FOURTH
+
+  I am Led into the Theatre--I Attend Rehearsals--I am Made Acquainted
+  with the Vagaries of Tights.
+
+
+I was approaching my thirteenth birthday when it came about that a
+certain ancient boarding-house keeper--far gone in years--required
+someone to assist her, someone she could trust entirely and leave in
+charge for a month at a time; and I, not being able to read the future,
+was greatly chagrined because my mother accepted the offered situation. I
+was always happiest when she found occupation in a house where there was
+a library, for people were generally kind to me in that respect and gave
+me the freedom of their shelves, seeing that I was reverently careful of
+all books; but in a boarding-house there would be no library, and my
+heart sank as we entered the gloomy old building.
+
+No, there were no books, but among the boarders there were two or three
+actors and two actresses--a mother and a daughter. The mother played the
+"first old women"; the daughter, only a year or two older than I was,
+played, I was told, "walking-ladies," though what that meant I could not
+imagine.
+
+The daughter (Blanche) liked me, while I looked upon her with awe, and
+wondered why she even noticed me. She was very wilful, she would not
+study anything on earth save her short parts. She had never read a book
+in her life. When I was home from school I told her stories by the hour,
+and she would say: "You ought to be in a theatre--you could act!"
+
+And then I would be dumb for a long time, because I thought she was
+making fun of me. One day I was chewing some gum she gave me--I was not
+chewing it very nicely, either--and my mother boxed my ears, and Blanche
+said: "You ought to be in a theatre--you could chew all the gum you liked
+there!"
+
+And just then my mother was so cruelly overworked, and the spring came in
+with furious heat, and I felt so big and yet so helpless--a great girl of
+thirteen to be worked for by another--and the humiliation seemed more
+than I could bear, and I locked myself in our dreary cupboard of a room,
+and flung myself upon my knees, and in a passion of tears tried to make a
+bargain with my God! I meant no irreverence--I was intensely religious. I
+did not see the enormity of the act--I only knew that I suffered, and
+that God could help me--so I asked His help! But, instead of stopping
+there, I cried out to Him this promise: "Dear God! just pity me and show
+me what to do! Please--please help me to help my mother--and if you will,
+I'll never say 'No!' to any woman who comes to me all my life long!"
+
+My error in trying to barter with my Maker must have been forgiven, for
+my prayer was answered within a week, while there are many women
+scattered through the land who know that I have tried faithfully to keep
+my part of that bargain, and no woman who has sought my aid has ever been
+answered with a "No!"
+
+One day Blanche greeted me with the news that extra ballet-girls were
+wanted, and told me that I must go at once and get engaged.
+
+"But," I said, "maybe they won't take me!"
+
+"Well," answered she, "I've coaxed your mother, and my mother says she'll
+look out for you--so at any rate go and see. I'll take you to-morrow."
+
+And so dimly, vaguely, I seemed to see a way opening out before me, and
+again behind the locked door I knelt and said: "Dear God! dear God!" and
+got no further, because grief has many words and joy has so few.
+
+The school term had closed on Friday, and on Saturday morning, with my
+heart beating almost to suffocation, I started out to walk to the theatre
+with Blanche, who had promised to ask Mr. Ellsler (the manager) to take
+me on in the ballet. When we reached the sidewalk we saw the sky
+threatened rain and Blanche sent me back for an umbrella. I had none of
+my own, so I borrowed one from Mrs. Miller (our landlady), and at sight
+of it my companion broke into laughter. It was a dreadful affair--with a
+knobby, unkind handle, a slovenly and corpulent body, and a
+circumference, when open, that suggested the idea that it had been built
+to shelter not only the landlady, but those wise ones of the boarders who
+had paid up before the winds rose and the rain fell. Then we proceeded to
+the old Academy of Music on Bank Street, and entering, went upstairs, and
+just as we reached the top step a small dark man hurried across the hall
+and Blanche called quickly: "Oh, Mr. Ellsler--Mr. Ellsler! wait a moment,
+please--I want to speak to you!"
+
+I could not know that his almost repellent sternness of face concealed a
+kindness of heart that approached weakness, so when he turned a frowning,
+impatient face toward us, hope left me utterly, and for a moment I seemed
+to stand in a great darkness. I think I can do no better than to give Mr.
+Ellsler's own account of that, our first meeting, as he has given it
+often since. He says: "I was much put out by a business matter and was
+hastily crossing the corridor when Blanche called me, and I saw she had
+another girl in tow; a girl whose appearance in a theatre was so droll I
+must have laughed, had I not been more than a little cross. Her dress was
+quite short--she wore a pale-blue apron buttoned up the back, long braids
+tied at the ends with ribbon, and a brown straw hat, while she clutched
+desperately at the handle of the biggest umbrella I ever saw. Her eyes
+were distinctly blue and were plainly big with fright. Blanche gave her
+name and said she wanted to go on in the ballet, and I instantly answered
+she would not do, she was too small--I wanted women, not children, and
+started to return to my office. Blanche was voluble, but the girl herself
+never spoke a single word. I glanced toward her and stopped. The hands
+that clutched the umbrella trembled--she raised her eyes and looked at
+me. I had noticed their blueness a moment before--now they were almost
+black, so swiftly had the pupils dilated, and slowly the tears rose in
+them. All the father in me shrank under the child's bitter
+disappointment; all the actor in me thrilled at the power of expression
+in the girl's face, and I hastily added: 'Oh, well! You may come back in
+a day or two, and if anyone appears meantime who is short enough to march
+with you I'll take you on,' and after I got to my office I remembered the
+girl had not spoken a single word, but had won an engagement--for I knew
+I should engage her--with a pair of tear-filled eyes."
+
+The following Tuesday, under the protection of the ever-faithful Blanche,
+I again presented myself and was engaged for the term of two weeks, to go
+on the stage in the marches and dances of a play called "The Seven
+Sisters," for which service I was to receive three dollars a week, or
+fifty cents a night, as there were no matinees then, and so I entered,
+with wide-astonished eyes, into that dim, dusty, chaotic place known as
+"behind the scenes"--a strange place, where nothing _is_ and everything
+_may be_.
+
+In the daytime I found the stage a thing dead--at night, with the blazing
+of the gas, it lived! for light is its life, music is its soul, and the
+play its brain.
+
+Silently and cautiously I walked about, gazing curiously at the "scenes,"
+so fine on one side, so bare and cheap on the other; at the tarlatan
+"glass windows"; at the green "calico sea," lying flat and waveless on
+the floor. Everything there pretended to be something else, and at last I
+said solemnly to Blanche: "Is everything only make-believe in a theatre?"
+
+And she turned her gum to the other side and answered: "Yes, everything's
+make-believe--except salary day!"
+
+Then came the rehearsal--everything was military just then--and there was
+a Zouave drill to learn, as well as a couple of dances. The women and
+girls who had been engaged were not the very nicest people in the world,
+though they were the best to be found at such short notice; and Mrs.
+Bradshaw told me not to stand about with them, but to come to her as soon
+as my share in the work was over. "But," said this wise woman, "don't
+fail in politeness to them; for nothing can hold a person so far off as
+extreme politeness."
+
+To me the manual of arms was mere child's play, and the drill a veritable
+delight. The second day I scribbled down the movements in the order that
+they had been made, and learned them by heart, with the result that on
+the third day I sat aside chewing gum, while the stage-manager raved over
+the rest. Then the star--Mr. McDonough--came along and furiously demanded
+to know why I was not drilling. "The gentleman sent me out of the ranks,
+sir," I answered, "because he said I knew the manual and drill!"
+
+"Oh, indeed! well, there's not one of you that knows it--and you never
+will know it! You're a set of numbskulls! Here!" he cried, catching up a
+rifle, "take hold of this--get up here--and let's see how much you know!
+Now, then, shoulder arms!"
+
+And standing alone--burning with blushes, blinded with tears of
+mortification--I was put through my paces with a vengeance; but I really
+knew the manual as thoroughly as I knew the drill, and when it was over
+Mr. McDonough took the rifle from me, and exclaimed: "Well, saucer-eyes,
+you do know it! I'm d----d if you don't! and I'm sorry, little girl, I
+spoke so roughly to you!"
+
+He held out his fat white hand to me, and as I took it he added: "You
+ought to stay in this business--you've got your head with you!"
+
+It was a small matter, of course, but there was a faint hint of triumph
+in it, and the savor was very pleasant to me.
+
+Naturally, with a salary of but three dollars a week, we turned to the
+management for our costumes. I wonder what the _danseuse_ of to-day
+would think of the costume worn by her sister of the "sixties"? Now her
+few gauzy limb-betraying skirts reach but to the middle of the thigh; her
+scrap of a bodice, cut far below the shoulder blades at the back, being
+absolutely sleeveless, is precariously held in place by a string or two
+of beads. To be sure, she is apt to wear a collar of blazing diamonds,
+instead of the simple band of black velvet that used to be sufficient
+ornament for the peerless Bonfanti and the beautiful and modest Betty
+Rigl, who in their graceful ignorance of "splits" and athletic "tours de
+force," managed in their voluminous and knee-long skirts to whirl, to
+glide, to poise and float, to show, in fact, the poetry of motion.
+
+But we, this untrained ballet, were not Bonfantis nor Morlachis, and we
+wore our dancing clothes with a difference. In one dance we were supposed
+to be fairies. We wore flesh-colored slippers and tights. It took one
+full week of our two weeks' engagement to learn how to secure these
+treacherous articles, so that they would remain smooth and not wrinkle
+down somewhere or twist about. One girl never learned, and to the last
+added to the happiness of the public by ambling about on a pair of legs
+that looked as if they had been done up in curl papers the night before.
+
+We each had seven white tarlatan skirts, as full as they could be
+gathered--long enough to come a little below the knee. Our waists were
+also flesh-colored, and were cut fully two or three inches below our
+collar-bones, so you see there was plenty of cloth at our backs to hook
+our very immature wings to. We had wreaths of white roses on our
+heads--Blanche, who was very frank, said they looked like wreaths of
+turnips--and garlands of white roses to wave in the dance. I remember the
+girl with the curled legs was loathed by all because she lassoed everyone
+she came near with her garland--so you see we were very decorous fairies,
+whether we were decorative or not.
+
+Of course we were rather substantial, and our wings did seem too thin and
+small to sustain us satisfactorily. One girl took hers off in the
+dressing-room and remarked contemptuously that "they couldn't lift her
+cat even!"
+
+But another, who was dictatorial and also of a suspicious nature,
+answered savagely: "You don't know nothing about wings--and you haven't
+got no cat, nohow, and you know it--so shut up!" and the conversation
+closed.
+
+In our second costume we were frankly human. We still wore dancing
+skirts, but we were in colors, and we had, of course, shed our
+wings--nasty, scratchy things they were, I remember. Then for the drill
+and march we wore the regular Fire Zouave uniform.
+
+It was all great fun for me--you remember I was not stage-struck.
+Dramatically speaking, I was not yet born--I had neither ambition nor
+fear--I was simply happy because I was going to earn that, to me, great
+sum of money, and was going to give it to my mother, and planned only
+what I should say to her, and had no thought at all of the theatre or
+anything or any person in it.
+
+The donning of fleshings for the first time is an occasion of anxiety to
+anyone, man or woman. I, however, approached the subject of tights with
+an open mind, and Blanche freely gave me both information and advice. She
+chilled my blood by describing the mortifying mishaps, the dread
+disasters these garments had brought to those who failed to understand
+them. She declared them to be tricky, unreliable, and malicious in the
+extreme.
+
+"There's just one way to succeed with 'em," she said, "and that's by
+bullying 'em. Show you're afraid and they will slip and twist and wrinkle
+down and make you a perfect laughing-stock. You must take your time, you
+know, at first, and fit 'em on very carefully and smoothly over your feet
+and ankles and up over your knees. See that they are nice and straight or
+you'll look as if you were walking on corkscrews, but after that bully
+'em--yank and pull and drag 'em, and when you have 'em drawn up as tight
+as you can draw 'em, go at 'em and pull 'em up another inch at least.
+They'll creak and snap and pretend they're going to tear, but don't you
+ever leave your dressing-room satisfied, unless you feel you can't
+possibly get down-stairs without going sideways."
+
+"But," I remonstrated, "they'll break and let my knees through!"
+
+"Oh, no they won't!" she cheerfully answered. "They'll make believe
+they're going to split at the knee, of course, but instead they'll just
+keep as safe and smooth as the skin on your arm. But, for Heaven's sake,
+don't be afraid of 'em!"
+
+And I gravely promised to be as bold as I possibly could in my first
+encounter with the flesh-colored terrors.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FIFTH
+
+  I Receive my First Salary--I am Engaged for the Coming Season.
+
+
+At last the night came. Hot? Oh, my, hot it was! and we were so crowded
+in our tiny dressing-room that some of us had to stand on the one chair
+while we put our skirts on. The confusion was great, and I was glad to
+get out of the room, down-stairs, where I went to show myself to Mrs.
+Bradshaw or Blanche, to see if I was all right. They looked at me, and
+after a hopeless struggle with their quivering faces they burst into
+shrieks of laughter. With trembling hands I clutched my tarlatan skirts
+and peering down at my tights, I groaned: "Are they twisted, or run down,
+or what?"
+
+But it was not the tights, it was my face. I knew you had to put on
+powder because the gas made you yellow, and red because powder made you
+ghastly, but it had not occurred to me that skill was required in
+applying the same, and I was a sight to make any kindly disposed angel
+weep! I had not even sense enough to free my eyelashes from the powder
+clinging to them. My face was chalk white and low down on my cheeks were
+nice round bright red spots.
+
+Mrs. Bradshaw said: "With your round blue eyes and your round
+white-and-red face, you look like a cheap china doll! Come here, my
+dear!"
+
+She dusted off a few thicknesses of the powder, removed the hard scarlet
+spots, took a great soft hare's foot, which she rubbed over some pink
+rouge, and then holding it in the air she proceeded: "To-morrow, after
+you have walked to get a color, go to your glass and see where that color
+shows itself. I think you will find it high on your cheek, coming up
+close under the eye and growing fainter toward the ear. I'll paint you
+that way to-night on chance. You see _my_ color is low on my cheek. Of
+course when you are making-up for a character part you go by a different
+rule, but when you are just trying to look pretty be guided by nature.
+Now----"
+
+I felt the soft touch of the hare's foot on my burning cheeks; then she
+gave me a tooth-brush, which had black on it, and bade me draw it across
+my lashes. I did so and was surprised at the amount of powder it removed.
+She touched her little finger to some red pomade, and said: "Thrust out
+your under lip--no, not like a kiss--that makes creases--make a sulky
+lip--so!"
+
+She touched my lip with her finger, then she drew back and laughed again,
+in a different way. She drew me to the glass, and said, "Look!"
+
+I looked and cried: "Oh--oh! Mrs. Bradshaw, that girl doesn't look a bit
+like me--she's ever so much nicer!"
+
+In that lesson on making-up was the beginning and the ending of my
+theatrical instruction. What I have learned since then has been by
+observation, study, and direct inquiry--but never by instruction, either
+free or paid for.
+
+Now, while I was engaged to go on with the crowd, fate willed after all
+that I should have an independent entrance for my first appearance on the
+stage. The matter would be too trivial to mention were it not for the
+influence it had upon my future. One act of the play represented the back
+of a stage during a performance. The scenes were turned around with their
+unpainted sides to the public. The scene-shifters and gas-men were
+standing about--everything was going wrong. The manager was giving orders
+wildly, and then a dancer was late. She was called frantically and
+finally when she appeared on the run, the manager caught her by the
+shoulders, rushed her across the stage and fairly pitched her on the
+imaginary stage--to the great amusement of the audience.
+
+The tallest and prettiest girl in the ballet had been picked out to do
+this bit of work, and she had been rehearsed and rehearsed as if she were
+preparing for the balcony scene of "Romeo and Juliet"; and day after day
+the stage-manager would groan: "Can't you run? Did you never run? Imagine
+the house a-fire and that you are running for your life!"
+
+At last, on that opening night, we were all gathered ready for our first
+entrance and dance, which followed a few moments after the incident I
+have described. The tall girl had a queer look on her face as she stood
+in her place--her cue came, but she never moved.
+
+I heard the rushing footsteps of the stage-manager: "That's you!" he
+shouted; "go on! go on, run!"
+
+Run? She seemed to have grown fast to the floor. We heard the angry
+_aside_ of the actor on the stage: "Send someone on here--for Heaven's
+sake!"
+
+"Are you going on?" cried the frantic prompter.
+
+She dropped her arms limply at her sides and whispered: "I--I--c-a-n-t!"
+
+He turned, and as he ran his imploring eye over the line of faces, each
+girl shrank back from it. He reached me--I had no fear, and he saw it.
+"Can you go on there?" he cried. I nodded. "Then for God's sake go!"
+
+I gave a bound and a rush that carried me half, across the stage before
+the manager caught me--and so I made my entrance on the stage, and danced
+and marched and sang with the rest, and all unconsciously took my first
+step upon the path that I was to follow through shadow and through
+sunshine--to follow by steep and stony places, over threatening bogs,
+through green and pleasant meadows--to follow steadily and faithfully for
+many and many a year to come.
+
+On our first salary day, to the surprise of all concerned, I did not go
+to claim my week's pay. To everyone who spoke to me of the matter, I
+simply answered: "Oh, that will be all right." When the second day came I
+was the last to present myself at the box-office window. Mr. Ellsler was
+there and he opened the door and asked me to come in. As I signed my name
+on the salary list I hesitated perceptibly and he laughingly said: "Don't
+you know your own name?" Now on the first day of all, when the
+stage-manager had taken down our names, I had been gazing at the scenery
+and when he called out: "Little girl, what is your name?" I had not
+heard, and someone standing by had said: "Her name is Clara--Clara
+Morris, or Morrisey, or Morrison, or something like that," and he dropped
+the last syllable from my name Morrison, and wrote me down Morris; so
+when Mr. Ellsler put his question, "Don't you know your name?" that was
+certainly the moment when I should have spoken--but I was too shy, and
+there and thereafter held my peace, and have been in consequence Clara
+Morris ever since.
+
+I having signed for and received my two weeks' salary, Mr. Ellsler asked
+why I had not come the week before, and I told him I preferred to wait
+because it would seem so much more if I got both weeks' salary all at one
+time. And he gravely nodded and said "it was rather a large sum to have
+in hand at one time"--and, though I was very sensitive to ridicule, I did
+not suspect him of making fun of me.
+
+Then he said: "You are a very intelligent little girl, and when you went
+on alone and unrehearsed the other night you proved you had both
+adaptability and courage. I'd like to keep you in the theatre. Will you
+come and be a regular member of the company for the season that begins in
+September next?"
+
+I think it must have been my ears that finally stopped my ever-widening
+smile while I made answer that I must ask my mother first.
+
+"To be sure," said he, "to be sure! Well, suppose you ask her, then, and
+let me know whether you can or not."
+
+Looking back and speaking calmly, I must admit that I do not now believe
+that Mr. Ellsler's financial future depended entirely upon the yes or no
+of my mother and myself; but that I was on an errand of life or death
+everyone must have thought who saw me tearing through the streets on that
+90-in-the-shade summer day, racing along in a whirl of short skirts, with
+the boyish, self-kicking gait peculiar to running girls of thirteen.
+
+One man, a tailor, ran out hatless and coatless and looked up the street
+anxiously in the direction from which I came. A big boy on the corner
+yelled after me: "S-a-a-y, Sis, where's the fire?" but you see they did
+not know that I was carrying home my first earnings--that I was clutching
+six damp one-dollar bills in the hands that had been so empty all my
+life! Poor little hands that had never held a greater sum than one big
+Canadian penny, that had never held a dollar bill till they had first
+earned it. But if the boy was blind to what I held, so was I blind to
+what the future held--which made us equal.
+
+I had meant to take off my hat and smooth my hair, and in a decorous and
+proper manner approach my mother and deliver my nice little speech, and
+then hand her the money. But, alas! as I rushed into the house I came
+upon her unexpectedly--for, fearing dinner was going to be late, she was
+hurrying things by shelling a great basket of peas as she sat by the
+dining-room window. At sight of her tired face, all my nicely planned
+speech disappeared. I flung my arm about her neck, dropped the bills on
+top of the empty pods, and cried with beautiful lucidity: "Oh, mother!
+that's mine--and it's all yours!"
+
+She kissed me, but to my grieved amazement put the money back into my
+hand, folding my four stiff, unwilling fingers over it, as she said: "No,
+you have earned this money yourself--you are the only one who has the
+right to use it--you are to do with it exactly as you please."
+
+And while tears of disappointment were yet swimming in my eyes, triumph
+sprang up in my heart at her last words; for if I could do exactly as I
+pleased, why, after all, she should have the new summer dress she needed
+so badly. So I took the money to our room, and having secreted it in the
+most intricate and involved manner I could think of, I returned and laid
+Mr. Ellsler's offer before my mother, who at first hesitated, but
+learning that Mrs. Bradshaw was engaged for another season, she finally
+consented, and I rushed back to the theatre, where, red and hot and out
+of breath, I was engaged for the ballet for the next season. After this I
+was conscious of a new feeling, which I would have found it very hard to
+explain then. It was not importance, it was not vanity, it was a pleasant
+feeling, it lifted the head and gave one patience to bear calmly many
+things that had been very hard to bear. I know now it was the
+self-respect that comes to everyone who is a bread-winner.
+
+Directly after breakfast next day I was off to get my mother's dress. I
+went quite alone, and my head was well in the air; for this was indeed an
+important occasion. I looked long and felt gravely at the edges of the
+goods, I did not know what for, but I had seen other people do it, and
+when my lavender-flowered muslin was cut off, done up and paid for, I
+found quite a large hole in my six dollars; for it was war time, and
+anything made of cotton cost a dreadful price. But, good Heaven! how
+happy I was, and how proud that I should get a dress for my mother,
+instead of her getting one for me! Undoubtedly, had there been a fire
+just then, I would have risked my life to save that flowered muslin gown.
+
+I had not been more than two or three days in the theatre when I
+discovered that its people seemed to be divided into two distinct
+parties--the guyers and the guyed--those who laughed and those who were
+laughed at. All my life I have had a horror of practical joking, and I
+very quickly decided I would not be among the guyed. I had borrowed many
+of Mrs. Bradshaw's play books to read, and often found in the directions
+for costumes the old word "ibid." "Count Rudolph--black velvet doublet,
+hose and short cloak. Count Adolph, ibid." So when the property-man, an
+incorrigible joker, asked me to go home and borrow Mrs. Bradshaw's ibid
+for him, I simply looked at him and smiled a broad, silent smile and
+never moved a peg. He gave me a sharp look, then affecting great anger at
+my laziness, he wrote a request for an ibid and gave it to the fattest
+girl in the crowd, and she carried it to Mrs. Bradshaw, who wrote on it
+that her ibid was at Mrs. Dickson's, and the fat girl went to Mrs.
+Dickson's, who said she had lent it to Mr. Lewis--so the poor fat goose
+was kept waddling through the heat, from one place to another, until she
+was half dead, to the great enjoyment of the property-man.
+
+Next day he was very busy, when, glancing up, he saw me looking on at his
+work. Instantly he caught up a bottle, and said: "Run upstairs to the
+paint-frame (three flights up) and ask the painter to put a little
+ad-libitum in this bottle for me--there's a good girl!"
+
+Now I did not yet know what ad-libitum meant, but I was a very close
+observer, and I saw the same malicious twinkle in his eye that had shone
+there when he had sent the fat girl on her hot journey, and once more I
+slowly chewed my gum, and smiled my wide, unbelieving smile. He waited a
+moment, but as I did not touch the bottle he tossed it aside, saying:
+"What a suspicious little devil you are!"
+
+But when a man wanted me to blow down a gun-barrel next morning, the
+property-man exclaimed: "Here, you! let saucer-eyes alone! I don't know
+whether she gets her _savey_ out of her head or chews it out of her gum,
+but she don't guy worth a cent, so you needn't try to put anything on to
+her!"
+
+And from that day to this I have been free from the attacks of the
+practical joker.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER SIXTH
+
+  The Regular Season Opens--I have a Small Part to Play--I am among
+  Lovers of Shakespeare--I too Stand at his Knee and Fall under the
+  Charm.
+
+
+Up to this time the only world I had known had been narrow and sordid and
+lay chill under the shadow of poverty; and it is sunlight that makes the
+earth smile into flower and fruit and laugh aloud through the throats of
+birds. But now, standing humbly at the knee of Shakespeare, I began to
+learn something of another world--fairy-like in fascination, marvellous
+in reality. A world of sunny days and jewelled nights, of splendid
+palaces, caves of horror, forests of mystery, and meadows of smiling
+candor. All peopled, too, with such soldiers, statesmen, lovers, clowns,
+such women of splendid chill chastity, fierce ambition, thistle-down
+lightness, and burning, tragic love as made the heart beat fast to think
+of.
+
+Perhaps if I had attempted simply to read Shakespeare at that time, I
+might have fallen short both in profit and in pleasure; but it was the
+_hearing_ him that roused my attention. There was such music in the sound
+of the words, that the mind was impelled to study out their meaning. It
+seems to me that a human voice is to poetry what a clear even light is to
+a reader, making each word give up its full store of meaning.
+
+At that time Forrest, crowned and wrapped in royal robes, was yet
+tottering on his throne. Charlotte Cushman was the Tragic Queen of the
+stage. Mr. James Murdoch, frail and aging, but still acting, was highly
+esteemed. Joseph Jefferson, E. L. Davenport, J. K. Hackett, Edwin Adams,
+John E. Owens, Dan. Setchell, Peter Richings and his daughter Caroline,
+Mrs. D. P. Bowers, Miss Lucille Western, Miss Maggie Mitchell, Mr. and
+Mrs. Conway, Matilda Heron, Charles Couldock, Joseph Proctor, Mr. and
+Mrs. Albaugh, Mr. and Mrs. Barney Williams, the Webb Sisters, Kate
+Reynolds, were all great favorites, not pausing to mention many more,
+while Edwin Booth, the greatest light of all, was rising in golden glory
+in the East.
+
+Of the above-mentioned twenty-eight stars, eighteen acted in
+Shakespeare's plays. All stars played a week's engagement--many played
+two weeks, therefore at least twenty-four of our forty-two week season
+was given over to Shakespearean productions, and every actor and actress
+had the Bard at their tongue's tip.
+
+In the far past the great disgrace of our profession was the inebriety of
+its men. At the time I write of, the severity of the managers had nearly
+eradicated the terrible habit, and I never saw but two of that class of
+brilliant actor-drunkards, beloved of newspaper story writers, who made
+too much of their absurd vagaries.
+
+Looking back to the actors of '65, I can't help noticing the difference
+between their attitude of mind toward their profession, and that of the
+actor of to-day. Salaries were much smaller then, work was harder, but
+life was simpler. The actor had no social standing; he was no longer
+looked down upon, but he was an unknown quantity; he was, in short, an
+actor pure and simple. He had enthusiasm for his profession--he lived to
+act, not merely living by acting. He had more superstition than religion,
+and no politics at all; but he was patriotic and shouldered his gun and
+marched away in the ranks as cheerfully as any other citizen soldier.
+
+But above all and beyond all else, the men and women _respected_ their
+chosen profession. Their constant association of mind with Shakespeare
+seemed to have given them a certain dignity of bearing as well as of
+speech.
+
+To-day our actors have in many cases won some social recognition, and
+they must therefore give a portion of their time to social duties. They
+are clubmen and another portion of their time goes in club lounging.
+They draw large salaries and too frequently they have to act in long
+running plays, that are made up of smartish wit and cheapest
+cynicism--mere froth and frivolity, while the effective smashing of the
+Seventh Commandment has been for so long a time the principal _motif_ of
+both drama and farce, that one cannot wonder much at the general tone of
+flippancy prevailing among the theatrical people of to-day. They guy
+everything and everybody, and would jeer at their profession as readily
+as they would at an old man on the street wearing a last year's hat.
+
+They are sober, they are honest, they are generous, but they seem to have
+grown utterly flippant, and I can't help wondering if this alteration can
+have come about through the change in their mental pabulum.
+
+At all events, as I watched and listened in the old days, it seemed to me
+they were never weary of discussing readings, expressions, emphasis, and
+action. One would remark, say at a rehearsal of "Hamlet," that Macready
+gave a certain line in this manner, and another would instantly express a
+preference for a Forrest--or a Davenport--rendering, and then the
+argument would be on, and only a call to the stage would end the weighing
+of words, the placing of commas, etc.
+
+I well remember my first step into theatrical controversy. "Macbeth" was
+being rehearsed, and the star had just exclaimed: "Hang out our banners
+on the outward walls!" That was enough--argument was on. It grew
+animated. Some were for: "Hang out our banners! on the outward walls the
+cry is still: they come!" while one or two were with the star's reading.
+
+I stood listening and looking on and fairly sizzling with hot desire to
+speak, but dared not take the liberty, I stood in such awe of my elders.
+Presently the "old-man" turned and, noticing my eagerness, laughingly
+said: "Well, what is it, Clara? you'll have a fit if you don't ease your
+mind with speech."
+
+"Oh, Uncle Dick," I answered, my words fairly tripping over each other
+in my haste. "I have a picture home, I cut it out of a paper, it's a
+picture of a great castle, with towers and moats and things, and on the
+outer walls there are men with spears and shields, and they seem to be
+looking for the enemy, and, Uncle Dick, the _banner_ is floating over the
+high tower!"
+
+"Where it ought to be," interpolated the old gentleman, who was English.
+
+"So," I went on, "don't you think it ought to be read: 'Hang out our
+banners! on the outward walls'--the outward walls, you know, is where the
+lookout are standing--'the cry--is still, they come!'"
+
+A general laugh followed my excited explanation, but Uncle Dick patted me
+very kindly on the shoulder, and said: "Good girl! you stick to your
+picture--it's right and so are you. Many people read the line that way,
+but you have worked it out for yourself, and that's a good plan to
+follow."
+
+And I swelled and swelled, it seemed to me, I was so proud of the gentle
+old man's approval. But that same night I came quite wofully to grief. I
+had been one of the crowd of "witches"; I had also had my place at that
+shameless _papier-mache_ banquet given by _Macbeth_ to his tantalized
+guests, and then, being off duty, was, as usual, planted in the entrance,
+watching the acting of the grown-up and the grown-great. _Lady Macbeth_
+was giving the sleep-walking scene. Her method was of the old, old
+school. She spoke at almost the full power of her lungs, throughout that
+mysterious, awe-inspiring sleep-walking scene. It jarred upon my
+feelings--I could not have told why, but it did. I believed myself alone,
+and when the memory-haunted woman roared out: "Yet, who would have
+thought the old man to have had so much _blood_ in him?" I remarked,
+_sotto voce_: "Did you expect to find ink in him?"
+
+A sharp "ahem!" right at my shoulder told me I had been overheard, and I
+turned to face--oh, horror! the stage-manager. He glared angrily at me,
+and began: "Since when have the ladies of the ballet taken to
+criticising the work of the stars?"
+
+Humbly enough, I said: "I beg your pardon, sir, I was just talking to
+myself, that was all."
+
+But he went on: "Oh, you would not criticize a reading, unless you could
+better it--so pray favor us with _your_ ideas on this speech!"
+
+Each sneering word cut me to the heart. Tears filled my eyes. I struggled
+hard to keep them from falling, while I just murmured: "I beg your
+pardon!" Again he demanded my reading, saying they were not "too old to
+learn," and in sheer desperation, I exclaimed: "I was only speaking to
+myself, but I thought _Lady Macbeth_ was amazed at the _quantity_ of
+blood that flowed from the body of such an old man--for when you get old,
+you know, sir, you don't have so much blood as you used to, and I only
+just thought, that as the 'sleeping men were laced,' and the knives
+'smeared,' and her hands 'bathed' with it, she might have perhaps
+whispered: 'Yet, who would have thought the old man to have had _so much_
+blood in him?' I didn't mean an impertinence!" and down fell the tears,
+for I could not talk and hold them back at the same time.
+
+He looked at me in dead silence for a few moments, then he said: "Humph!"
+and walked away, while I rushed to the dressing-room and cried and cried,
+and vowed that never, never again would I talk to myself--in the theatre
+at all events. I mention these incidents to show how quickly I came under
+the influence of these Shakespeare-studying men and women, some of whom
+had received their very adequate education from him alone.
+
+It was odd to hear how they used his words and expressions in their daily
+conversation. 'Twas not so much quoting him intentionally, as it was an
+unconscious incorporation into their own language of Shakespeare's lines.
+
+Tramps were to them almost always "vagrom men." When one did some very
+foolish thing, he almost surely begged to be "written down an ass." The
+appearance of a pretty actress in her new spring or fall gown was as
+surely hailed with: "The riches of the ship have come on shore!"
+
+I saw a pet dog break for the third time from restraint to follow his
+master, who put his hand on the animal's head and rather worriedly
+remarked: "'The love that follows us sometimes is our trouble--which
+still'" (with a big sigh) "'we thank as love!' But you'll have to go
+back, old fellow, all the same." If someone obliged you, and you
+expressed the fear that you had given him trouble, he would be absolutely
+certain to reply, pleasantly and quite honestly: "The labor we delight in
+physics pain!" And so on and on unendingly. And I almost believe that had
+an old actor seen these three great speeches: The "seven ages" of man,
+"To be or not to be!" and "Othello's occupation's gone," grouped
+together, he would have fallen upon his knees and become an idolator
+there and then.
+
+Yes, I found them odd people, but I liked them. The world was brightening
+for me, and I felt I had a right to my share of the air and light, and as
+much of God's earth as my feet could stand upon.
+
+I had had a little part entrusted to me, too, the very first week of the
+season. A young backwoods-boy, Tom Bruce, by name, and I had borrowed
+some clothes and had slammed about with my gun, and spoken my few words
+out loud and clear, and had met with approving looks, if not words, but
+not yet was the actress aroused in me, I was still a mere school-girl
+reciting her lessons. My proudest moment had been when I was allowed to
+go on for the longest witch in the cauldron scene in "Macbeth." Perhaps I
+might have come to grief over it had I not overheard the leading man say:
+"That child will never speak those lines in the world!" and the leading
+man was six feet tall and handsome, and I was thirteen and a half years
+old, and had to be called a "child!"
+
+I was in a secret rage, and I went over and over my lines, at all hours,
+under all kinds of circumstances, so that nothing should be able to
+frighten me at night. And then, with my paste-board crown and white sheet
+and petticoat, I boiled-up in the cauldron and gave my lines well enough
+for the manager (who was _Hecate_ just then) to say low, "Good! Good!"
+and the leading man next night asked me to take care of his watch and
+chain during his combat scene, and my pride of bearing was most unseemly,
+and the other ballet-girls loved me not at all, for you see they, too,
+knew he was six feet tall and handsome.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER SEVENTH
+
+  I find I am in a "Family Theatre"--I Fare Forth away from my Mother,
+  and in Columbus I Shelter under the wing of Mrs. Bradshaw.
+
+
+This theatre in which I found myself was, in professional parlance, a
+family theatre, a thing abhorred by many, especially by actresses. Not
+much wonder either, for even as the green bay tree flourisheth in the
+psalm, so does nepotism flourish in the family theatre; and when it's a
+case of the managerial _Monsieur_, _Madame_, _et Bebes_ all acting, many
+are the tears, sobs, and hot words that follow upon the absorption by
+these three of all the good parts, while all the poor ones are placed
+with strictest justice where they belong. At that time men and women were
+engaged each for a special "line of business," and to ask anyone to act
+outside of his "line" was an offence not lightly passed over.
+
+For the benefit of those who may not be familiar with theatrical terms of
+procedure, I will state that a company was generally made up of a leading
+man (heroes, of course), first old man, second old man, heavy man, first
+comedian, second comedian, juvenile man, walking gentleman, and utility
+man.
+
+That term, "heavy man," of course had no reference to the actor's
+physical condition, but it generally implied a deep voice, heavy
+eyebrows, and a perfect willingness to stab in the back or smilingly to
+poison the wine of the noblest hero or the fairest heroine in the
+business; so the professional player of villains was a heavy man.
+
+The juvenile man may have left juvenility far, far behind him in reality,
+but if his back was flat, his eyes large and hair good; he would support
+old mothers, be falsely accused of thefts, and win wealthy sweethearts in
+last acts, with great _eclat_--as juvenile men were expected to do.
+
+Walking gentlemen didn't walk all the time; truth to tell, they stood
+about and pretended a deep interest in other people's affairs, most of
+the time. They were those absent Pauls or Georges that are talked about
+continually by sweethearts or friends or irate fathers, and finally
+appear just at the end of everything, simply to prove they really do
+exist, and to hold a lady's hand, while the curtain falls on the
+characters, all nicely lined up and bowing like toy mandarins.
+
+The utility man was generally not a man, but a large, gloomy boy, whose
+mustache would not grow, and whose voice would crack over the few lines
+he was invited to address to the public. He sometimes led mobs, but more
+often made brief statements as to the whereabouts of certain
+carriages--and therein laid his claim to utility.
+
+Then came the leading lady, the first old woman (who was sometimes the
+heavy woman), the first singing soubrette, the walking ladies, the second
+soubrette (and boys' parts), the utility woman, and the ladies of the
+ballet. These were the principal "lines of business," and in an artistic
+sense they bound actors both hand and foot; so utterly inflexible were
+they that the laws of the Medes and Persians seemed blithe and friendly
+things in comparison.
+
+"Oh, I can't play that; it's not in my line!" "Oh, yes, I sing, but the
+singing don't belong to my line!" "I know, he _looks_ the part and I
+don't, but it belongs to my line!" and so, nearly every week, some
+performance used to be marred by the slavish clinging to these defined
+"lines of business."
+
+Mr. Augustin Daly was the first manager who dared to ignore the absolute
+"line." "You must trust my judgment to cast you for the characters you
+are best suited to perform, and you must trust my honor not to lower or
+degrade you, by casting you below your rightful position, for I will not
+be hampered and bound by any fixed 'lines of business.'" So said he to
+all would-be members of his company. The pill was a trifle bitter in the
+swallowing, as most pills are, but it was so wholesome in its effect that
+ere long other managers were following Mr. Daly's example.
+
+But to return to our mutton. If the family theatre was disliked by those
+who had already won recognized positions, it was at least an ideal place
+in which a young girl could begin her professional life. The manager, Mr.
+John A. Ellsler, was an excellent character-actor as well as a first old
+man. His wife, Mrs. Effie Ellsler, was his leading woman--his daughter
+Effie, though not out of school at that time, acted whenever there was a
+very good part that suited her. The first singing soubrette was the wife
+of the prompter and the stage-manager. The first old woman was the mother
+of the walking lady, and so it came about that there was not even the
+pink flush of a flirtation over the first season, and, though another
+season was shaken and thrilled through and through by the elopement and
+marriage of James Lewis with Miss Frankie Hurlburt, a young lady from
+private life in Cleveland, yet in all the years I served in that old
+theatre, no real scandal ever smirched it.
+
+True, one poor little ballet-girl fell from our ranks and was drawn into
+that piteous army of women, who, with silk petticoats and painted cheeks,
+seek joy in the bottom of the wine cup. Poor little soul! how we used to
+lock the dressing-room door and lower our voices when we spoke of having
+seen her.
+
+I can never be grateful enough for having come under the influence of the
+dear woman who watched over me that first season--Mrs. Bradshaw, one of
+the most versatile, most earnest, most devoted actresses I ever saw, and
+a good woman besides.
+
+She had known sorrow, trouble, and loss. She was widowed, she had two
+children to support unaided, but she made moan to no one. She worked
+early and late; she rehearsed, studied, acted, mended, and made; for her
+salary absolutely forbade the services of a dress-maker. She had two
+gowns a year, one thick, one thin. She could not herself compute the age
+of her bonnets, so often were they blocked over, or dyed and retrimmed.
+Yet no better appearing woman ever entered a stage-door than this
+excessively neat, well-groomed, though plainly clad, old actress.
+
+It is not to be denied that a great many professional women are
+absolutely without the sense of order. Their irregular hours, their
+unsettled mode of life, camping out a few days in this hotel and then in
+that in a measure explain it, but Mrs. Bradshaw set an example of neat
+orderliness that was well worth following.
+
+"I can't see," she used to say, "why an actress should be a slattern."
+
+Then if anyone murmured: "Early rehearsals, great haste, you know!" she
+would answer: "You know at night the hour of morning rehearsal--then get
+up fifteen minutes earlier, and leave your room in order. Everything an
+actress does is commented upon, and as she is more or less an object of
+suspicion, her conduct should be even more rigidly correct than that of
+other women." She had been a beauty in her youth, as her regular features
+still proclaimed, and though her figure had become almost Falstaffian,
+her graceful arm movements and the dignity of her carriage saved her from
+being in the slightest degree grotesque. The secret of her smiling
+contentment was her honest love for her work.
+
+We had one taste in common--this experienced woman and my now
+fourteen-year-old self--books! books! and yet books, we read. I borrowed
+from my friends and she also read--she borrowed from her friends and I,
+too, read, and she came to speak of them, and then of her own ideas, and
+so I found that this woman, already on the way to age, who was so poor
+and hard-working, and had nothing to look forward to but work, was yet
+cheerfully contented, because she loved the work--yes, and honored it,
+and held her head high, because she was an actress with a clean
+reputation!
+
+"Study your lines--speak them with exactitude, just as they are written!"
+she used to say to me, with a sort of passion in her voice.
+
+"Don't just gather the idea of a speech, and then use your own words,
+that's an infamous habit. The author knew what he wanted you to say--for
+God's sake honor the poor dead writer's wishes and speak his lines
+exactly as he wrote them! If he says: 'My lord the carriage waits!' don't
+you go on and say: 'My lord the carriage is waiting!'"
+
+I almost believe she would have fallen in a dead faint had she been
+prompted, and to have been late to a rehearsal would have been a shame
+greater than she could have borne. To this woman's example, I owe the
+strict business-like habits of attention to study and rehearsals that
+have won so much praise for me from my managers.
+
+Had Mr. Ellsler's intention of taking his company to another city for a
+great part of the season been known in advance, my mother would never
+have given consent to my membership; but the season was three months old
+before we knew that we were to be transferred to Columbus, the State
+capital, where we were to remain, while the Legislature sat in large
+arm-chairs, passing bad bills, and killing good ones, for some three
+months or more--at least that was the ordinary citizen's opinion of the
+conduct of the State's wise men. It seemed to me that when a man paid his
+taxes he felt he had purchased the right to grumble at his
+representatives to his heart's content.
+
+But that move to Columbus was a startling event in my life. It meant
+leaving my mother and standing quite alone. She was filled with anxiety,
+principally for my physical welfare, but I felt, every now and then, my
+grief and fright pierced through and through with a delicious thrill of
+importance. I was going to be just like a grown-up, and would decide for
+myself what I should wear. I might even, if I chose to become so
+reckless, wear my Sunday hat to a rehearsal; and when my cheap little
+trunk came, with C. M. on the end, showing it was my very own, I stooped
+down and hugged it. But later, when my mother with a sad face separated
+my garments from her own, taking them from her trunk, where they had
+always rested before, I burst into sobs and tears of utter forlornness.
+
+The Columbus trip had a special effect upon the affairs of the ballet. We
+had received $3 a week salary, but every one of us had had some home
+assistance. Now we were going to a strange city, and no one on earth
+could manage to live on such a salary as that, so our stipend was raised
+to $5 a week, and the three of us (we were but three that season) set to
+work trying to solve the riddle of how a girl was to pay her board-bill,
+her basket-bill, her wash-bill, and all the small expenses of the
+theatre--powder, paint, soap, hair-pins, etc., to say nothing at all of
+shoes and clothing--all out of $5 a week.
+
+Of course there was but one way to do it, and that was by doubling-up and
+sharing a room with some one, and that first season I was very lucky.
+Mrs. Bradshaw found a house where the top floor had been finished off as
+one great long room, running the entire length of the building from gable
+to gable, and she offered me a share in it.
+
+Oh, I was glad! Blanche and I had one-half the room, and Mrs. Bradshaw
+and the irrepressible little torment and joy of her life, small Jack, had
+the other half. No wonder I grew to reverence her, whose character could
+bear such intimate association as that. I don't know what her religious
+beliefs were. She read her Bible Sundays, but she never went to church,
+neither did she believe in a material hell; but it was not long before I
+discovered that when I said my prayers over in my corner, she paused in
+whatever she was doing, and remained with downcast eyes--a fact that made
+me scramble a bit, I'm afraid.
+
+There was but one thing in our close companionship that caused her pain,
+and that was the inevitable belief of strangers, that I was her daughter
+and Blanche her protegee--they being misled by the difference in our
+manner toward her. In the severity of my upbringing I had been taught
+that it was nothing short of criminal to be lacking in respect for those
+who were older than myself; therefore I was not only strictly obedient to
+her expressed wishes, but I rose when she entered a room, opened and
+closed doors, placed chairs at table, gave her precedence on all
+occasions, and served her in such small ways as were possible; while
+Blanche ignored her to such a degree that one might have mistaken her for
+a stranger to our little party.
+
+Poor mother! the tears stood thick in her brave eyes when the landlady,
+on our third day in her house, remarked to her, patting me on the
+shoulder as she spoke: "You have a most devoted little daughter, here!"
+
+And there was a distinct pause, before she answered, gently: "You
+mistake--I have a devoted little friend here, in Clara, but Blanche is my
+daughter!" She was a singular being, that daughter. It is seldom indeed
+that a girl, who is not bad, can yet be such a thorn in the side of a
+mother. She was a most disconcerting, baffling creature--a tricksy,
+elfish spirit, that delighted in malicious fun. Pleasure-loving,
+indolent, and indifferent alike to praise or blame, she (incredible as it
+seems) would willingly give up a good part to save herself the trouble of
+playing it. I recall a trick she once performed in my favor. I thought
+the _Player-Queen_ in "Hamlet" was a beautiful part, and I hungered to
+play it; but it belonged to Blanche, and, of course, she was cast for it;
+but said she: "You could have it, for all I'd care!" Then, suddenly, she
+added: "Say, you may play it with the next _Hamlet_ that comes along!"
+
+I pointed out the impossibility of such an assertion coming true, but she
+grinned widely at me and chewed her gum as one who knew many things
+beyond my ken, and counselled me to "watch out and see what happened." I
+watched out, and this happened:
+
+When the mimic-play was going on before the King and Court, my impish
+friend Blanche, as the _Player-Queen_, should have said: "Both here and
+hence, pursue me lasting strife, if once a widow, ever I be wife!"
+
+Instead of which, loudly and distinctly, she proclaimed: "Both here and
+hence, pursue me lasting strife, _if once a wife, ever I be widowed_!"
+
+_Hamlet_ rolled over on his face, _Queen Gertrude_ (Mrs. Bradshaw)
+groaned aloud, _Polonius_ (Mr. Ellsler) threatened discharge, under cover
+of the laughter of the audience, while guilty Blanche grinned in impish
+enjoyment of her work, and next "Hamlet" I was cast for the
+_Player-Queen_, to punish Blanche. To punish her, indeed--she was as
+merry as a sand-boy, standing about chewing gum and telling stories all
+the evening.
+
+The "tatting" craze was sweeping over the country then, everybody wore
+tatting and almost everybody made it. I worked day and night at it,
+tatting at rehearsal and between scenes, and lady-stars often bought my
+work, to my great pleasure as well as profit. Blanche wanted a new
+shuttle, and her mother, who was under extra expense just then, told her
+she could have it the next week. It was shortly before Christmas, and
+next morning at rehearsal, with all the company present, Blanche walked
+up to Mr. Ellsler and asked him if he had any money.
+
+He looked bewildered, and answered somewhat doubtfully that he thought he
+had a little. "Well," said she, "I want you to give me a quarter, so I
+can get you a Christmas present."
+
+There was a burst of laughter as Mr. Ellsler handed her the quarter, and
+after rehearsal this is what she did with it:
+
+On Superior Street a clothing store was being sold out--a forced sale.
+There she bought a black shoe-string tie for five cents, as a gift for
+Mr. Ellsler, and elsewhere got for herself a tatting-shuttle and five
+pieces of chewing-gum, and chuckled over her caper, quite undisturbed by
+her mother's tears.
+
+One thing only moved her, one thing only she loved, music! She had a
+charming voice, clear, pure, and cold as crystal, and she sang willingly,
+nay, even eagerly, whenever she had the opportunity. In after years she
+became a well-known singer in light opera.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER EIGHTH
+
+  I Display my New Knowledge--I Return to Cleveland to Face my First
+  Theatrical Vacation, and I Know the very Tragedy of Littleness.
+
+
+During that first season I learned to stand alone, to take care of myself
+and my small belongings without admonition from anyone. One of my notions
+was that, since an immortal soul had to dwell in my body, it became my
+bounden duty to bestow upon it regular and painstaking care in honor of
+its tenant. The idea may seem extravagant, yet it served me well, since
+it did for me what a mother's watchful supervision does for other little
+girls when habits are being formed.
+
+I had learned, too, most of the technical terms used in the profession. I
+knew all about footlights, wings, flies, borders, drops, braces, grooves,
+traps, etc. I understood the queer abbreviations. Knew that O.P. side was
+opposite the prompt side, where the prompter stood with his book of the
+play to give the word to any actor whose memory failed him and to ring
+the two bells for the close of the act--one of warning to the curtain-man
+up aloft to get ready, the other for him to lower the curtain. Knew that
+R.U.E. and L.U.E. were right or left upper entrance; C., centre of the
+stage; R.C., right of centre; CD., centre-door. That to go D.S. or U.S.
+was an intimation that you would do well to go down stage or up stage,
+while an X. to C. was a terse request for you to cross to the centre of
+the stage, and that a whole lot of other letters meant a whole lot of
+other directions that would only bore a reader.
+
+I understood how many illusions were produced, and one of the proofs that
+I was meant to be an actress was to be found in my enjoyment of the
+mechanism of stage effects. I was always on hand when a storm had to be
+worked, and would grind away with a will at the crank that, turning a
+wheel against a tight band of silk, made the sound of a tremendously
+shrieking wind, which filled me with pride and personal satisfaction. And
+no one sitting in front of the house looking at a white-robed woman
+ascending to heaven, apparently floating upward through the blue clouds,
+enjoyed the spectacle more than I enjoyed looking at the ascent from the
+rear, where I could see the tiny iron support for her feet, the rod at
+her back with the belt holding her securely about the waist (just as
+though she were standing on a large hoe, with the handle at her back),
+and the men hoisting her through the air, with a painted, sometimes
+moving, sky behind her.
+
+This reminds me that Mrs. Bradshaw had several times to go to heaven
+(dramatically speaking), and as her figure and weight made the hoe
+support useless in her case, she always went to heaven on the entire
+paint-frame or gallery, as it is called--a long platform the whole width
+of the stage that is raised and lowered at will by windlass, and on which
+the artists stand while painting scenery. This enormous affair would be
+cleaned and hung about with nice blue clouds, and then Mrs. Bradshaw,
+draped in long, white robes, with hands meekly crossed upon her ample
+breast and eyes piously uplifted, would rise heavenward, slowly, as so
+heavy an angel should. But, alas! there was one drawback to this
+otherwise perfect ascension. Never, so long as the theatre stood, could
+that windlass be made to work silently. The paint-gallery always moved up
+or down to a succession of screaks unoilable, untamable, blood-curdling,
+that were intensified by Mrs. Bradshaw's weight, so that she ascended to
+the blue tarlatan empyrean accompanied by such chugs and long-drawn
+yowlings as suggested a trip to the infernal regions. Mrs. Bradshaw's
+face remained calm and unmoved, but now and then an agonized moan
+escaped her, lest even the orchestra's effort to cover up the
+paint-frame's protesting cries should prove useless. Poor woman, when she
+had been lowered again to terra firma and stepped off, the whole
+paint-frame would give a kind of joyous upward spring. She noticed it,
+and one evening looked back, and said: "Oh, you're not a bit more glad
+than I am, you screaking wretch!"
+
+I had learned to make up my face properly, to dress my hair in various
+ways, and was beginning to know something about correct costuming; but as
+the season was drawing to its close my heart quaked and I was sick with
+fear, for I was facing, for the first time, that terror, that affliction
+of the actor's life, the summer vacation.
+
+People little dream what a period of misery that is to many stage folk.
+Seeing them well dressed, laughing and talking lightly with the
+acquaintances they meet on the street, one little suspects that the
+gnawing pain of hunger may be busy with their stomachs--that a woman's
+fainting "because of the extreme heat, you know," was really caused by
+want of food. That the fresh handkerchiefs are of their own washing. That
+the garments are guarded with almost inconceivable care, and are only
+worn on the street, some older articles answering in their lodgings--and
+that it is not vanity, but business, for a manager is not attracted by a
+seedy or a shabby-looking applicant for an engagement.
+
+Oh, the weary, weary miles the poor souls walk! with not a penny in their
+pockets. They are compelled to say, "Roll on, sweet chariot!" to even the
+street-car as it appears before their longing eyes.
+
+Some people, mostly men, under these circumstances will stand and look at
+the viands spread out temptingly in the restaurant windows; others,
+myself among the number, will avoid such places as one would avoid a
+pestilence.
+
+We were back in Cleveland for the last of the season, and I used to
+count, over and over again, my tiny savings and set them in little piles.
+The wash, the board, and, dear heaven! there were six long, long weeks
+of vacation, and I had only one little pile of board money to set against
+the whole six. I had six little piles of wash money, and one other little
+pile, the _raison d'etre_ of which I may explain by and by, if I am not
+too much ashamed of the early folly.
+
+Now I was staying at that acme of inconvenience and discomfort, a cheap
+boarding-house, where, by the way, social lines were drawn with sharp
+distinction, the upper class coldly recognizing the middle class, but
+ignoring the very existence of the lower class, refugees from ignoble
+fortune.
+
+Mrs. Bradshaw, by right of dignity and regular payments for the best room
+in the house, was the star-boarder, and it was undoubtedly her friendship
+which raised me socially from that third and lowest class to which my
+small payments would have relegated me.
+
+Standing in my tiny, closet-like room, by lifting myself to my toes, I
+could touch the ceiling. There was not space for a bureau, but the yellow
+wash-stand stood quite firmly, with the assistance of a brick, which made
+up for the absence of part of its off hind leg. There was a kitchen-chair
+that may have been of pine, but my aching back proclaimed it lignum-vitae.
+A mere sliver of a bed stretched itself sullenly in the corner, where its
+slats, showing their outlines through the meagre bed-clothing, suggested
+the ribs of an attenuated cab-horse. From that bed early rising became a
+pleasure instead of a mere duty. Above the wash-stand, in a narrow, once
+veneered but now merely glue-covered frame, hung a small looking-glass,
+that, size considered, could, I believe, do more damage to the human
+countenance than could any other mirror in the world. It had a sort of
+dimple in its middle, which had the effect of scattering one's features
+into the four corners of the glass, loosely--a nose and eyebrow here, a
+mouth yonder, and one's "altogether" nowhere.
+
+It was very disconcerting. Blanche said it made her quite sea-sick, or
+words to that effect. This dreadful little apartment lay snug against the
+roof. In the winter the snow sifted prettily but uncomfortably here and
+there. In the summer the heat was appalling. Those old-timers who knew
+the house well, called No. 15 the "torture-chamber," and many a time,
+during the fiercest heat, Mrs. Bradshaw would literally drive me from the
+small fiery furnace to her own room, where at least there was air to
+breathe, for No. 15 had but half a window. And yet, miserable as this
+place was, it was a refuge and a shelter. The house was well known, it
+was ugly, as cheap things are apt to be, but it was respectable and safe,
+and I trembled at the thought of losing my right to enter there.
+
+In the past my mother had been employed by the landlady as seamstress and
+as housekeeper, besides which she had once nursed the lonely old woman
+through a severe sickness, and as I had been permitted to live with my
+mother, Mrs. Miller of course knew me well; so one day when she found me
+engaged in the unsatisfactory occupation of recounting my money she asked
+me, very gruffly, what I was going to do through the summer. I gazed at
+her with wide, frightened eyes, and was simply dumb. More sharply, she
+asked: "Do you hear?--what are you going to do when the theatre closes?"
+
+I swallowed hard, and then faintly answered: "I've got one week's board
+saved, Mrs. Miller, but after that I--I--," had my soul depended upon the
+speaking of another word I could not have uttered it.
+
+She glared her most savage glare at me. She impatiently pushed her false
+front awry, pulled at her spectacles, and finally took up one of my six
+little piles of coin and asked: "What's this for?"
+
+"Washing," I gasped.
+
+"You don't send your handkerchiefs to the wash, do you?" she demanded,
+suspiciously.
+
+I shook my head and pointed to a handkerchief drying on a string at my
+half-window.
+
+"That's right," she remarked, in a slightly mollified tone. Then she
+reached over, took up the pile that was meant for the next week's board,
+and putting it in her pocket, she remarked: "I'll just take this _now_,
+so you won't run no risk of losing it, and for the next five weeks after,
+why, well your mother was honest before you, and I reckon you're going to
+take after her. You promise to be a hard worker, too, so, well nobody
+else has ever been able to stay in this room over a week--so I guess you
+can go on stopping right here, till the theatre opens again, and you can
+pay me by fits and starts as it comes handy for you. Why, what's the
+matter with you? Well, I vum! you must be clean tuckered out to cry like
+that! Land sakes, child! tie a wet rag on your head and lay right down,
+till you can get picked up a bit!" and out she bounced.
+
+Dear old raging savage! how she used to frighten us all! how she barked
+and barked, but she never, never bit! How I wanted to kiss her withered
+old cheek that day when she offered me shelter on trust! But she was
+eighty-five years old and my honored guest here at "The Pines" before I
+told her all the terror and the gratitude she brought to me that day.
+
+My clear skin, bright eyes, and round face gave me an appearance of
+perfect health, which was belied by the pain I almost unceasingly
+endured. The very inadequate provision my poor mother had been able to
+make for the necessaries of her child's welfare, the cruel restrictions
+placed upon my exercise, even upon movement in that wooden chair, where I
+sat with numb limbs five hours at a stretch, had greatly aggravated a
+slight injury to my spine received in babyhood. And now I was facing a
+life of hard work, handicapped by that most tenacious, most cruel of
+torments, a spinal trouble.
+
+At fourteen I knew enough about such terms as vertebra of the back,
+spinal-column, spinal-cord, sheath of cord, spinal-marrow, axial nervous
+system, curvatures, flexes and reflexes to have nicely established an
+energetic quack as a specialist in spinal trouble; and, alas! after all
+these years no one has added to my list of flexes and reflexes the words
+"fixed or refixed," so my poor spine and I go struggling on, and I
+sometimes think, if it could speak, it might declare that I am as dented,
+crooked, and wavering as it is. However, I suppose that state of
+uncertain health may have caused the capricious appetite that tormented
+me. Always poor, I had yet never been able to endure coarse food. Heavy
+meats, cabbage, turnips, beets, fried things filled me with cold
+repulsion. Crackers and milk formed my dinner, day in and day out. Now
+and then crackers and water had to suffice me; but I infinitely preferred
+the latter to a meal of roast pork or of corned beef, followed by
+rice-pudding.
+
+But the trouble from the fastidious appetite came when it suddenly
+demanded something for its gratification--imperiously, even furiously
+demanded it. If anyone desires a thing intensely, the continual denial of
+that craving becomes almost a torture. So, when that finical appetite of
+mine would suddenly cry out for oysters, I could think of nothing else.
+Quick tears would spring into my eyes as I approached the oysterless
+table. Again and again I would dream of them, cans and cans would be
+piled on my table (I lived far from shell-oysters then), and when I awoke
+I would turn on my lumpy bed and moan like a sick animal. I mention this
+because I wish to explain what that little odd pile of money had been
+saved for.
+
+At the approach of hot weather a craving for ice-cream had seized upon me
+with almost agonizing force. It is a desire common to all young things,
+but the poverty of my surroundings, the lack of the more delicate
+vegetables, of fruits, of sweets, added to the intensity of my craving. I
+had found a place away up on the market where for ten cents one could get
+quite a large saucer of the delicate dainty. Fifteen or twenty-five cents
+was charged elsewhere for no better cream, but a more decorative saucer.
+
+But, good gracious! what a sum of money--ten cents for a mere pleasure!
+though the memory of it afterward was a comfort for several days, and
+then, oh, unfortunate girl! the sick longing would come again! And so, in
+a sort of despair, I tried to save thirty cents, with the deliberate
+intention of spending the whole sum on luxury and folly. Six long,
+blazing-hot, idle weeks I should have to pass in the "torture-chamber,"
+but with that thirty cents by me I could, every two weeks, loiter
+deliciously over a plate of cream, feel its velvety smoothness on my lips
+and its icy coldness cooling all my weary, heat-worn body. One week I
+could live on memory, and the next upon anticipation, and so get through
+the long vacation in comparative comfort.
+
+There was no lock upon my room door, but I said nothing about it, as the
+door would not close anyway; and at night, for security, I placed the
+lignum-vitae chair against it. In the day-time I had to entrust my
+belongings to the honor of my house-mates, as it were.
+
+The six little piles of wash-money I had, after the manner of a squirrel,
+buried here and there at the bottom of my trunk, which I securely locked;
+but my precious thirty cents I carried about with me, tied in the corner
+of a handkerchief. It generally rested in the bosom of my dress, but
+there came a day when, for economy's sake, I washed a pair of stockings
+as well as my three handkerchiefs, and Mrs. Miller said I might hang them
+on the line in the yard below. My tiny window opened in that direction.
+The day was fiercely hot. I put the money in my pocket and carefully hung
+my dress up opposite the window, and, in a little white jacket, did out
+my washing; then, singing happily, I ran down-stairs, two long flights,
+to hang the articles on the line. As I was putting a clothes-pin in place
+I glanced upward at the musk-plant on my window-sill--and then my heart
+stood still in my breast. I could neither breathe nor move for the
+moment. I could see my dress-skirt depending from its nail, and oh, dear
+God! a man's great red hand was grasping it--was clutching it, here and
+there, in search of the pocket! Suddenly I gave a piercing cry, and
+bounding into the house, I tore madly up the stairs--too late. The dress
+lay in the doorway--the pocket was empty! On the floor, with my head
+against the white-washed wall, I sat with closed eyes. The smell of a
+musk-plant makes me shudder to this day. I sat there stupidly till dusk;
+then I crept to my sliver of a bed, and cried, and cried, and sobbed the
+whole weary, hot night through. Next day I simply could not rise, and so
+for weeks I dragged heavily up and down the stairs, loathing the very
+sight of the dining-room, and driven half wild with that never-sleeping
+craving for ice-cream.
+
+It was purgatory, it was the very tragedy of littleness. And that was my
+first theatrical vacation.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER NINTH
+
+  The Season Reopens--I meet the Yellow Breeches and become a Utility
+  Man--Mr. Murdock Escapes Fits and my "Luck" Proves to be Extra Work.
+
+
+The exuberance of my joy over the opening of the new season was somewhat
+modified by my close relations with a certain pair of knee-breeches--and
+I wish to say right here that when Gail Hamilton declared inanimate
+things were endowed with powers of malice and general mischievousness,
+she was not exaggerating, but speaking strictly by the card.
+
+Some men think her charge was made solely against collar-buttons, whose
+conduct the world admits is detrimental to good morals; but they are
+wrong; she included many things in her charge. Consider the
+innocent-looking rocking-chair, for instance. When it strikes does not
+the rocker always find your ankle-joint? In darkness or in light did it
+ever miss that exact spot? Never! And then how gently it will sway, while
+you rear and stamp, and, with briny eyes, say--well, things you should
+not say, things you would not say but for the malice of an inanimate
+thing.
+
+Perhaps the quickest way to win your sympathy is to tell you at once that
+those knee-breeches were made of yellow plush, bright yellow--I thought
+that would move you! There was a coat, too--yes, things can always be
+worse, you see; and when I was crowded into that awful livery I felt like
+hopping about in a search for hemp-seed, I looked so like an enormous
+canary that had outgrown its cage.
+
+Had Gail Hamilton known those breeches she would have said: "Here is
+total depravity in yellow plush!"
+
+You see, the way they got their grip on me originally was this. There had
+been two utility men engaged for the company, but one of them was taken
+sick and could not come to the city at all, and the other one made the
+manager sick, and was discharged for utter incompetency, and that very
+night there was required a male servant who could in the first act summon
+the star to the presence of his employer, with a name hard to pronounce;
+and in the last act, when the star had become the boss of the whole
+affair, could announce the coming of his carriage.
+
+"Could I do those two lines?"
+
+"Oh, yes!" I joyfully announced my ability and my willingness; "but I had
+no clothes."
+
+And then, instead of turning the part into a girl attendant, in an evil
+moment the manager bethought himself of some wardrobe he had purchased
+from a broken up or down opera manager, and search discovered the
+yellow-plush breeches, coat, and white wig. I put them on--the canary was
+hatched!
+
+I played the part of two announcements; I walked out clear from the hip,
+like a boy--and I became the utility man of the company, and the
+tormented victim of the yellow breeches.
+
+I was a patient young person and willing to endure much for art's sake,
+but that wig was too much. Built of white horse-hair mounted upon linen,
+its heat and weight were fearful. It had evidently been constructed for a
+big, round, perfectly bumpless head. It came down to my very eyebrows on
+top, and at the sides, instead of terminating just at the hair-line above
+the ear, it swallowed up my ears, covered my temples, and extended clear
+to my eyes, giving me the appearance of being harnessed up in large white
+blinders--like a shying horse. In common humanity the manager released me
+from the wig and let me wear powder, but the clutch of the yellow
+breeches remained unbroken.
+
+As in their opera days (I don't know what they sang, but they were
+probably in the chorus) they had wandered through the world, knowing all
+continental Europe and the South Americas, so now they wandered through
+dramatic literature. One night accompanying me on to deliver a note to
+Madame de Pompadour, the next night those same yellow breeches and I
+skipped back to Louis XIV., and admitted many lords and ladies, with
+tongue-tying names, to that monarch's presence, only to skip forward
+again, in a few days, to bring in mail-bags to snuffy rural gentry, under
+almost any of the Georges. Though the lace ruffles and jabots of the
+French period might give place to a plain red waistcoat for the Georgian
+English household, the canary breeches were always there, ready to burst
+into song at any moment, to basely fire off a button or break a buckle
+just at the moment of my entrance-cue, treacherously suggesting, by their
+easy wrinkling while I stood, that I might just as well sit down and rest
+my tired feet, and the moment I attempted to lower myself to a chair,
+beginning such a mad cracking and snapping in every seam as brought me
+upright with a bound and the settled conviction that weariness was
+preferable to public shame.
+
+I am glad to this day that the stage-door was always kept locked, for,
+had it been open, heaven only knows where those cosmopolitan breeches
+might have taken me--they were such experienced travellers that a trip to
+Havana or to the City of Mexico would have struck them as a nice little
+jaunt.
+
+My pleasantest moments as utility man came to me when, in a very brief
+white cotton Roman shirt and sandals, I led the shouts for the _supers_,
+who are proverbially dumb creatures before the audience, though noisy
+enough behind the scenes. So all the furious and destructive mobs of that
+season were led on by a little whipper-snapper who yelled like a demon
+with a copper-lined throat and then stood about afterward peacefully
+making tatting.
+
+It must not be thought that I had in the first place a monopoly of the
+small parts; far from it, but the company being rather short of utility
+people, if the ballet-girls could play speaking servants, it not only
+saved a salary or two to the manager, but it was of immense advantage to
+the girls themselves. Then, too, Mr. Ellsler was particularly anxious to
+avoid any charge of favoritism; so in the earliest days these little
+parts were given out turn and turn about, without choice or
+favor--indeed, two or three times my short dress caused me to be passed
+over in favor of long dresses and done-up hair. But a few disasters,
+caused by failure of memory or loss of nerve on the part of these
+competitors, gave the _pas_ to me, and it must be remembered that these
+lapses and mishaps, though amusing to recall, were absolutely disastrous
+at the time, ruining, as they did, the scene, if not the entire act, in
+which they occurred.
+
+With special vividness I recall the first one of these happenings. "Romeo
+and Juliet" was the play, and _Balthazar_ the part. I longed for it
+because, aside from his fine speech, he was really quite important and
+had to show tenderness, anxiety, and determination during the time
+_Romeo_ addressed him. I pleaded with my eyes, but I could not, dared not
+speak up and ask for the part, as did Annie, who was older than I. The
+star and prompter exchanged a few low-spoken sentences. I caught the
+condemnatory word "child," and knew my fate was sealed--long skirts and
+turned-up hair had won. However, my wound was salved when the page to
+_Paris_ was given me with two lines to speak.
+
+Now there is no one but _Romeo_ on the stage when _Balthazar_ enters,
+which, of course, gives him great prominence. His first speech, of some
+fifty or fifty-six words, is simply expressed, not at all involved, yet
+from the moment Annie received the part she became a broken,
+terror-stricken creature. Many people when nervous bite their nails, but
+Annie, in that state of mind, had a funny habit of putting her hand to
+the nape of her neck and rubbing her hair upward. She had a pretty dress
+of her own, but she had to borrow a wig, and, like all borrowed wigs, it
+failed to fit; it was too small, and at last, when the best had been
+done, its wobbly insecurity must have been terrifying.
+
+The girl's figure was charming, and as she stood in the entrance in her
+boy's costume, I remarked: "You look lovely, Annie!"
+
+Silently she turned her glassy, unseeing eyes toward me, while she
+shifted her weight swiftly from one foot to the other, opening and
+shutting her hands spasmodically. _Romeo_ was on, and he joyously
+declared:
+
+      "My bosom's lord sits lightly in his throne!"
+
+He then described his happy dream--I heard the words:
+
+      "When but love's shadows are so rich in joy!"
+
+And there Annie staggered forward on to the stage.
+
+      "News from Verona!" cried _Romeo_: "How now, Balthazar?"
+
+Oh, well might he ask "How now?" for, shifting from foot to foot, this
+stricken _Balthazar_ was already feeling at the nape of her neck, and
+instead of answering the questions of _Romeo_ about _Juliet_ with the
+words:
+
+      "Then she is well, and nothing can be ill,
+      Her body sleeps in Capets' monument,
+      And her immortal part with angels lives;
+      I saw her laid low in her kindred's vault,
+      And presently took post to tell it you:
+      O pardon me for bringing these ill news,
+      Since you did leave it for my office, sir,"
+
+these were the startling statements he made in gulps and gasps:
+
+      "O-Oh, y-yes! Sh-e's very well--and nothing's wrong;
+
+[titter from audience, and amazement on _Romeo's_ face]
+
+      H-her immortal parts are in a vault,
+      I--I saw them laid there, and come to tell you!"
+
+Perhaps she would have got to the right words at last, but just there the
+wig, pushed too hard, lurched over on one side, giving such a piratical
+look to the troubled face that a very gale of laughter filled the house,
+and she retired then and there, though in the next speech she should have
+refused to leave _Romeo_:
+
+      "Pardon me, sir, I will not leave you thus:
+      Your looks are pale and wild,"
+
+yet now, because his looks were red and wild, she left without
+permission, and the enraged instead of grieving _Romeo_ had no one to
+receive his order:
+
+      "----get me ink and paper,
+      And hire post horses."
+
+So when, in his confusion, he went on continuing his lines as they were
+written, and, addressing empty space, fiercely bade _Balthazar_:
+
+      "----get thee gone!"
+
+and in unintentionally suggestive tones promised:
+
+      "----I'll be with thee straight!"
+
+the audience laughed openly and heartily at the star himself.
+
+"Yes, sir," he snorted later on to Mr. Ellsler, "by heaven, sir! they
+laughed at me--AT ME! I have been made ridiculous by your measly little
+_Balthazar_--who should have been a man, sir! Yes, sir, a man, whom I
+could have chastised for making a fool of himself, sir! and a d----d
+fool of me, sir!"
+
+For the real tragedy of that night lay in the wound given to the dignity
+of Mr. F. B. Conway, who played a measured and stately _Romeo_ to the
+handsome and mature _Juliet_ of his wife.
+
+We had no young _Juliets_ just then, they were all rather advanced,
+rather settled in character for the reckless child of Verona. But every
+lady who played the part declared at rehearsal that Shakespeare had been
+foolish to make _Juliet_ so young--that no woman had learned enough to
+understand and play her before middle age at least.
+
+Mrs. Bradshaw, one day, said laughingly to me: "By your looks you seemed
+to disagree with Mrs. Ellsler's remarks this morning. She, too, thinks a
+woman is not fit for _Juliet_ until she has learned much of nature and
+the world."
+
+"But," I objected, lamely, "while they are learning so much about the
+world they are forgetting such a lot about girlhood!"
+
+Her laughter confused and distressed me. "I can't say it!" I cried, "but
+you know how very forward _Juliet_ is in speech? If she _knew_, that
+would become brazen boldness! It isn't what she _knows_, but what she
+_feels_ without knowing that makes the tragedy!" And what Mrs. Bradshaw
+meant by muttering, "Babes and sucklings--from the mouths of babes and
+sucklings," I could not make out; perhaps, however, I should say that my
+mate Annie played few blankverse parts after _Balthazar_.
+
+Then, one Saturday night, we were all corralled by the prompter before we
+could depart for home, and were gravely addressed by the manager--the
+whole thing being ludicrously suggestive of the reading of the riot act;
+but after reminding us that Mr. James E. Murdoch would begin his
+engagement on Monday night, that the rehearsals would be long and
+important, he proceeded to poison the very source of our Sunday's rest
+and comfort by fell suggestions of some dire mishap threatening the
+gentleman through us. We exchanged wondering and troubled glances. What
+could this mean?
+
+Mr. Ellsler went on: "You all know how precise Mr. Murdoch has always
+been about your readings; how exacting about where you should stand at
+this word or at that; how quickly his impatience of stupidity has burst
+into anger; but you probably do not know that since his serious sickness
+he is more exacting than ever, and has acquired the habit, when much
+annoyed, of--of--er--well, of having a fit."
+
+"O-h!" it was unanimous, the groan that broke from our oppressed chests.
+Stars who _gave us_ fits we were used to, but the star who went into fits
+himself--good heavens! good heavens!
+
+Rather anxiously, Mr. Ellsler continued: "These fits, for all I know, may
+spell apoplexy--anyway, he is too frail a man to safely indulge in them;
+so, for heaven's sake, do nothing to cross him; be on time, be
+perfect--dead letter-perfect in your parts; write out all his directions
+if necessary; grin and bear anything, so long as he doesn't have a fit!
+Good-night."
+
+The riot act had been read, the mob dispersed, but the nerve of the most
+experienced was shaken by the prospect of acting a whole week with a
+gentleman who, at any moment, might get mad enough to have a fit.
+
+Think, then, what must have been the state of mind of my other
+ballet-mate, Hattie, who, in her regular turn, had received a small part,
+but of real importance, and who had to address her lines to Mr. Murdoch
+himself. Poor girl, always nervous, this new terror made her doubly so.
+She roused the star's wrath, even at rehearsal.
+
+"Speak louder!" (imperatively). "_Will_ you speak louder?" (furiously).
+"Perhaps, in the interest of those who will be in front to-night, I may
+suggest that you speak loud enough to be heard by--say--the first row!"
+(satirically). Now a calmly controlled body is generally the property of
+a trained actress, not of a raw ballet-girl, and Hattie's restless
+shifting about and wriggling drove him into such a rage that, to the
+rest of us, he seemed to be trembling with inchoate fits, and I saw the
+property man get his hat and take his stand by the stage-door, ready to
+fly for the doctor, or, as he called him, "the fit sharp."
+
+She, too, was to appear as a page. She was to enter hurriedly--always a
+difficult thing for a beginner to do. She was to address Mr. Murdoch in
+blank verse--a _more_ difficult thing--and implore him to come swiftly to
+prevent bloodshed, as a hostile meeting was taking place between young
+Count So-and-so and "your nephew, sir!"
+
+This news was to shock the uncle so that he would stand dazed for a
+moment, when the page, looking off the stage, should cry:
+
+      "Ah, you are too late, sir, already their blades are out!
+      See how the foils writhe," etc.
+
+With a cry, the uncle should recover himself, and furiously order the
+page to
+
+      "----call the watch!"
+
+Alas! and alas! when the night, the play, the act, the cue came, Hattie,
+as handsome a boy as you could wish to see, went bravely on, as quickly,
+too, as her terror-chilled legs could carry her, but when she got there
+had no word to say--no, not one!
+
+In a sort of icy rage, Mr. Murdoch gave her her line, speaking very low,
+of course:
+
+      "My lord--my lord! I do beseech you haste,
+      Else here is murder done!"
+
+But the poor girl, past prompting properly, only caught wildly at the
+_sense_ of the speech, and gasped out:
+
+      "Come on, quick!"
+
+She saw his foot tapping with rage--thought his fits might begin that
+way, and madly cried, at the top of her voice:
+
+      "Be quick--see--see! publicly they cross their _financiers_!"
+
+then, through the laughter, rushed from the stage, crying, with streaming
+tears: "I don't care if he has a dozen fits! He has just scared the words
+out of my head with them!"
+
+And truly, when Mr. Murdoch, trembling with weakness, excitement, and
+anger, staggered backward, clasping his brow, everyone thought the
+dreaded fit had arrived.
+
+Next day he reproachfully informed Mr. Ellsler that he could not yet see
+blank verse and the King's English (so he termed it) murdered without
+suffering physically as well as mentally from the shocking spectacle.
+That he was an old man now, and should not be exposed to such tests of
+temper.
+
+Yes, as he spoke, he was an old man--pallid, lined, weary-faced; but that
+same night he was young _Mirabel_--in spirit, voice, eye, and movement.
+Fluttering through the play, "Wine Works Wonders," in his satins and his
+laces--young to the heart--young with the immortal youth of the true
+artist.
+
+Both these girls spoke plain prose well enough, and always had their
+share of the parts in modern plays; but, as all was grist to my
+individual mill, most of the blankverse and Shakespearean small
+characters came to me. Nor was I the lucky girl they believed me; there
+was no luck about it. My small success can be explained in two
+words--extra work. When they studied their parts they were contented if
+they could repeat their lines perfectly in the quiet of their rooms, and
+made no allowance for possible accidents or annoyances with power to
+confuse the mind and so cause loss of memory and ensuing shame. But I was
+a careful young person, and would not trust even my own memory without
+first taking every possible precaution. Therefore the repeating of my
+lines correctly in my room was but the beginning of my study of them. In
+crossing the crowded street I suddenly demanded of myself my lines. At
+the table, when all were chatting, I again made sudden demand for the
+same. If on either occasion my heart gave a jump and my memory failed to
+present the exact word, I knew I was not yet perfect, and I would repeat
+those lines until, had the very roof blown off the theatre at night, I
+should not have missed one. Then only could I turn my attention to the
+acting of them--oh, bless you, yes! I quite thought I was acting, and at
+all events I was doing the next best thing, which was trying to act.
+
+But a change was coming to me, an experience was approaching which I
+cannot explain to myself, neither has anyone else explained it for me;
+but I mention it because it made such a different thing of dramatic life
+for me. Aye, such a difficult thing as well. Looking back to that time I
+see that all my childhood, all my youth, was crowded into that first year
+on the stage. There I first knew liberty of speech, freedom of motion.
+There I shared in the general brightness and seemed to live by right
+divine, not by the grudging permission of some task-mistress of my
+mother. I had had no youth before, for in what should have been babyhood
+I had been a troubled little woman, most wise in misery. In freedom my
+crushed spirits rose with a bound. The mimicry, the adaptability of
+childhood asserted themselves--I pranced about the stage happily but
+thoughtlessly.
+
+It seems to me I was like a blind puppy, born into warmth and comfort and
+enjoying both, without any fear of the things it could not see. As I have
+said before, I knew no fear, I had no ambition, I was just happy, blindly
+happy; and now, all suddenly, I was to exchange this freedom of
+unconsciousness for the slavery of consciousness.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TENTH
+
+  With Mr. Dan. Setchell I Win Applause--A Strange Experience Comes to
+  Me--I Know Both Fear and Ambition--The Actress is Born at Last
+
+
+My manager considered me to have a real gift of comedy, and he several
+times declared that my being a girl was a distinct loss to the profession
+of a fine low comedian.
+
+It was in playing a broad comedy bit that my odd experience came to me.
+Mr. Dan. Setchell was the star. He was an extravagantly funny comedian,
+and the laziest man I ever saw--too lazy even properly to rehearse his
+most important scenes. He would sit on the prompt table--a table placed
+near the footlights at rehearsal, holding the manuscript, writing
+materials, etc., with a chair at either end, one for the star, the other
+for the prompter or stage manager--and with his short legs dangling he
+would doze a little through people's scenes, rousing himself reluctantly
+for his own, but instead of rising, taking his place upon the stage, and
+rehearsing properly, he would kick his legs back and forth, and, smiling
+pleasantly, would lazily repeat his lines where he was, adding: "I'll be
+on your right hand when I say that, Herbert. Oh, at your exit, Ellsler,
+you'll leave me in the centre, but when you come back you'll find me down
+left."
+
+After telling James Lewis several times at what places he would find him
+at night, Lewis remarked, in despair: "Well, God knows where you'll find
+_me_ at night!"
+
+"Oh, never mind, old man," answered the ever-smiling, steadily kicking
+Setchell, "if you're there, all right; if you're not there, no matter!"
+which was not exactly flattering.
+
+Of course such rehearsals led to many errors at night, but Mr. Setchell
+cleverly covered them up from the knowledge of the laughing audience.
+
+It is hard to imagine that lazy, smiling presence in the midst of awful
+disaster, but he was one of the victims of a dreadful shipwreck while
+making the voyage to Australia. Bat-blind to the future, he at that time
+laughed and comfortably shirked his work in the day-time, and made others
+laugh when he did his work at night.
+
+In one of his plays I did a small part with him--I was his wife, a former
+old maid of crabbed temper. I had asked Mr. Ellsler to make up my face
+for me as an old and ugly woman. I wore corkscrew side curls and an awful
+wrapper. I was a fearful object, and when Mr. Setchell first saw me he
+stood silent a moment, then, after rubbing his stomach hard, and
+grimacing, he took both my hands, exclaiming: "Oh, you hideous jewel! you
+positively gave me a cramp at just sight of you! Go in, little girl, for
+all you're worth! and do just what you please--you deserve the liberty
+for that make-up!"
+
+And goodness knows I took him at his word, and did anything that came
+into my giddy head. Even then I possessed that curious sixth sense of the
+born actress, and as a doctor with the aid of his stethoscope can hear
+sounds of grim warning or of kindly promise, while there is but the
+silence to the stander-by, so an actress, with that stethoscopic sixth
+sense, detects even the _forming_ emotions of her audience, feeling
+incipient dissatisfaction before it becomes open disapproval, or
+thrilling at the intense stillness that ever precedes a burst of
+approbation.
+
+And that night, meeting with a tiny mishap, which seemed to amuse the
+audience, I seized upon it, elaborating it to its limit, and making it my
+own, after the manner of an experienced actor.
+
+There was no elegant comedy of manners in the scene, understand, it was
+just the broadest farce, and it consisted of the desperate effort of a
+hen-pecked husband to assert himself and grasp the reins of home
+government, which resolved itself at last into a scolding-match, in
+which each tried to talk the other down--with what result you will know
+without the telling.
+
+The stage was set for a morning-room, with a table in the centre, spread
+with breakfast for two; a chair at either side and, as it happened, a
+footstool by mine. His high silk hat and some papers, also, were upon the
+table. For some unexplainable cause the silk hat has always been
+recognized, both by auditor and actor, as a legitimate object of
+fun-making, so when I, absent-mindedly, dropped all my toast-crusts into
+that shining receptacle, the audience expressed its approval in laughter,
+and so started me on my downward way, for that was my own idea and not a
+rehearsed one. When my husband mournfully asked if "There was not even
+one hot biscuit to be had?" I deliberately tried each one with the back
+of my knuckles, and remarking, "Yes, here is just one," which was the
+correct line in the play, I took it myself, which was not in the play,
+and so went on till the scolding-match was reached.
+
+In my first noisy speech I meant to stamp my foot, but by accident I
+brought it down upon the footstool. The people laughed, I saw a point--I
+lifted the other foot and stood upon the stool. By the twinkle in Mr.
+Setchell's eye, as well as by the laughter in front, I knew I was on the
+right track.
+
+He roared--he lifted his arms above his head, and in my reply, as I
+raised my voice, I mounted from the stool to the seat of the chair. He
+seized his hat, and with the toast-crusts falling about his face and
+ears, jammed it on his head, while in my last speech, with my voice at
+its highest screech, I lifted my foot and firmly planted it upon the very
+breakfast-table.
+
+It was enough--the storm broke from laughter to applause. Mr. Setchell
+had another speech--one of resigned acceptance of second place, but as
+the applause continued, he knew it would be an anti-climax, and he
+signalled the prompter to ring down the curtain.
+
+But I--I knew he ought to speak. I was frightened, tears filled my eyes.
+"What is it?" I whispered, as I started to get down.
+
+"Stand still," he sharply answered, then added: "It's you, you funny
+little idiot! you've made a hit--that's all!" and the curtain fell
+between us and the laughing crowd in front.
+
+The prompter started for me instantly from his corner, exclaiming, in his
+anger: "Well, of all the cheeky devilment I ever heard or saw--" But Mr.
+Setchell had him by the arm in a second, crying: "Hold on, old man! I
+gave her leave--she had my permission! Oh, good Lord! did you see that
+ascent of stool, chair, and table? eh? ha! ha! ha!"
+
+I stood trembling like a jelly in a hot day. Mr. Setchell said: "Don't be
+frightened, my girl! that applause was for you! You won't be fined or
+scolded--you've made a hit, that's all!" and he patted me kindly on the
+shoulder and broke again into fat laughter.
+
+I went to my room, I sat down with my head in my hands. Great drops of
+sweat came out on my temples. My hands were icy cold, my mouth was dry,
+that applause rang in my ears. A cold terror seized upon me--a terror of
+what, the public?
+
+Ah, a tender mouth was bitted and bridled at last! the reins were in the
+hands of the public, and it would drive me--where?
+
+The public! the public! I had never feared it before, because I had never
+realized its power. If I pleased, well and good. If I displeased it, I
+should be driven forth from the dramatic Eden I loved, in which I hoped
+to learn so many things theatrical and to become very wise, and I should
+wander all my life in the stony places of poverty and disappointment! I
+clenched my hands and writhed in misery at the thought. I seemed again to
+hear that applause, which had been for me--my very self! and I thrilled
+at its wild sweetness. Ah, the public! it could make or it could mar my
+whole life. Mighty monster, without mercy! The great many-headed
+creature, all jewelled over with fierce, bright eyes, with countless ears
+a-strain for error of any kind! That beat the perfumed air with its
+myriad hands when pleased--when pleased! A strange, great stillness
+seemed to close about me; something murmured: "In the future, in the
+_dim_ future, a woman may cause this many-headed monster you fear to
+think as one mind, to feel as one heart! _Then_ the bit and bridle will
+be changed--that woman will hold the reins and will drive the public!" At
+which I broke into shrill laughter, in spite of flowing tears. Two women
+came in, one said: "Why, what on earth's the matter? Have they blown you
+up for your didoes to-night? What need you care, you pleased the
+audience?" But another said, quietly: "Just get a glass of water for her,
+she has a touch of hysteria--I wonder who caused it?"
+
+But I only thought of that woman of the dim future, who was to conquer
+the public--who was she?
+
+Why that round of applause should have so shattered my happy confidence I
+cannot understand, but the fact remains that from that night I never
+faced a new audience, or attempted a new part, without suffering a
+nervous terror that sometimes but narrowly escaped collapse.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER ELEVENTH
+
+  My Promiscuous Reading wins me a Glass of Soda--The Stage takes up my
+  Education and Leads me through Many Pleasant Places.
+
+I suppose it sounds absurd to say that during those first seasons, with
+choruses, dances, and small parts to learn, with rehearsals every day and
+appearances every night, I was getting an education.
+
+But that depends upon your definition of the word. If it means to you
+schooling, special instruction, and formal training, then my claim is
+absurd; but if it means information, cultivation of the intellectual
+powers, enlightenment, why then my claim holds good, my statement stands,
+I was getting an education. And let me say the stage is a delightful
+teacher; she never wearies you with sameness or drives you to frenzy with
+iteration. No deadly-dull text-book stupefies you with lists of bare,
+bald dates, dryly informing you that someone was born in 1208, mounted
+the throne in 1220, died in 1258, and was succeeded by someone or other
+who reigned awhile--really you can't remember how long, and don't much
+care. There's nothing in figures for the memory to cling to. But no one
+can forget that Edward V. was born in 1470, because he is such a tragic
+little figure, only thirteen years old and of scant two months reign,
+because there was the Tower and there the crafty, usurping Duke of
+Gloster eager for his crown.
+
+Perhaps people would remember that Edward III. was born in 1312 and was
+succeeded by his grandson, Richard, if they were told at the same moment
+that he was father to that superb Black Prince, beloved alike of poet,
+painter, and historian.
+
+Now, to be a good actress and do intelligent work, one should thoroughly
+understand the play and its period in history, as the mainspring of its
+action is often political. To be able to do that requires a large fund of
+general information. That I had from my very babyhood been a reckless
+reader, came about from necessity--I had no choice, I simply read every
+single thing in print that my greedy hands closed upon; the results of
+this promiscuous reading, ranging from dime novels to Cowper, were
+sometimes amusing. One day, I remember, an actress was giving a very
+excited account of a street accident she had witnessed. Her colors were
+lurid, and some of her hearers received her tale coldly. "Oh!" she cried,
+"such an awful crowd--a mob, you know--a perfect mob!"
+
+"Oh, nonsense!" contradicted another, "there couldn't have been a mob,
+there are not people enough in that street to make a mob!"
+
+Then I mildly but firmly remarked: "Oh, yes, there are, for you know that
+legally three's a mob and two's a crowd."
+
+A shout of laughter followed this bit of information. "How utterly
+absurd!" cried one. "Well, of all the ridiculous ideas I ever heard!"
+laughed another. And then, suddenly, dear old Uncle Dick (Mr. Richard
+Stevens and player of old men, to be correct) came to my support, and,
+with the authority of a one-time barrister, declared my statement to be
+perfectly correct.
+
+"But where, in the name of Heaven, did you get your information?"
+
+"Oh," I vaguely replied, "I just read it somewhere."
+
+"That's a rather broad statement," remarked Uncle Dick; "you don't give
+your authority, page and line, I observe. Well, see here, now, Clara
+_mia_, in whatever field you found that one odd fact, you certainly
+gleaned others there, so if you can produce, at once, three other legal
+statements, I will treat you to soda-water after rehearsal."
+
+Oh, the delicious word was scarcely over his lips when I was wildly
+searching my memory, and presently, very doubtfully, offered the
+statement: "It is a fraud to conceal a fraud."
+
+But Uncle Dick gravely and readily accepted it. Another search, and then
+joyfully I announced: "Contracts made with minors, lunatics, or drunkards
+are void."
+
+A shout of laughter broke from the kind old man's lips, but he accepted
+that, too. Oh, almost I could hear the cool hiss of the soda--but now not
+another thing could I find. My face fell, my heart sank. Hitherto I had
+been thinking of papers, now I frantically ran through stories. Suddenly
+I cried: "A lead-pencil signature stands in law."
+
+But, alas! Uncle Dick hesitated--my authority was worthless. Oh, dear!
+oh, dear! was I to lose my treat, just for lack of a little legal
+knowledge? Sadly I remarked, "I guess I'll have to give it up,
+unless--unless you'll take: 'Principals are responsible for their
+agents,'" and, with pleasure beaming in his kind old eyes, he accepted
+it.
+
+Ah, I can taste that vanilla soda yet--and, what is more, the old
+gentleman took the trouble to find out about the legality of the
+lead-pencil signature; and, as my statement had been correct, he took
+great pains to make the fact known to all who had heard him question it,
+and he added to my little store of knowledge, "that a contract made on
+Sunday would not stand," which, by the way, later on, saved me from a
+probably painful experience.
+
+I mention this to show that even my unadvised reading had not been
+absolutely useless, I had learned a little about a variety of things; but
+now, plays continually presented new subjects to me to think and read
+about; thus "Venice Preserved" set me wild to find out what a _Doge_ was,
+and why Venice was so adored by her sons, and I straightway obtained a
+book about the wonderful city--whose commerce, power of mart and
+merchant may have departed, but whose mournful beauty is but hallowed by
+her weakness.
+
+So many plays were produced, representing so many periods, so many
+countries, I don't know how I should have satisfied my craving for the
+books they led me to had not the Public Library opened just then. I was
+so proud and happy the day my mother surprised me with half the price of
+a membership, and happier yet when I had the right to enter there and
+browse right and left, up and down, nibbling here, feeding long and
+contentedly there. Oh, the delight of reading one book, with two or three
+others in my lap; 'twas the pleasure of plenty, new to one who could have
+spelled "economy" in her sleep.
+
+Then, again, if it is the Stage that is making you read, you have to keep
+your eyes wide open and take note of many things. Some girls read just
+for the sake of the story, they heed nothing but that, they are even
+guilty of the impertinence of "skipping," "to get to the story more
+quickly, you know." But if you are on the stage you understand, for
+instance, that different kinds of furniture are used for different
+periods and for different countries; so even the beginner knows, when she
+sees the heavy old Flemish pieces of furniture standing on the stage in
+the morning, that no modern play is on that night, and is equally sure
+that the bringing out of the high tile-stove means a German interior is
+in preparation. Therefore, if you read for the stage, you watch
+carefully, not only Sir Thomas's doings, but his surroundings. If his
+chair or desk or sideboard is described, you make a note of the "heavily
+carved wood," or the "inlaid wood," or the "boule," or whatever it may
+be, and then you note the date of the story, and you say to yourself:
+"Ah, such and such furniture belongs to such a date and country."
+
+I once heard the company expressing their shocked amazement over the
+velvet robes of some _Macbeth_. I could not venture to ask them why it
+was so dreadful, but later I found some paper stating that velvet was
+first known in the fifteenth century, and was confined to the use of the
+priests or high ecclesiastical authorities--and my mind instantly grasped
+the horror of the older actors at seeing _Macbeth_ swathed in velvet in
+the grim, almost barbaric Scotland of about 1012; for surely it was a
+dreadful thing for an actor to wear velvet four hundred years ahead of
+its invention.
+
+You never know just where the Stage is going to lead you in your search
+for an education; only one thing you may be sure of, it will not keep you
+very long to any one straight road, but will branch off in this direction
+or in that, taking up some side issue, as it seems, like this matter of
+furniture, and lo, you presently find it is becoming a most important and
+interesting subject, well worth careful study. You come to believe you
+could recognize the workmanship of the great cabinet-makers at sight. You
+learn to shrink from misapplied ornament, you learn what gave rise to the
+"veneering reign-of-terror," you bow at the name of Chippendale, and are
+filled with wonder by the _cinque-cento_ extravagance of beauty. You find
+yourself tracing the rise and fall of dynasties through the chaste beauty
+or the over-ornamentation of their cabinet work. If all that Sir Henry
+Irving knows on this subject could be crowded into a single volume, the
+book would have at least one fault--'twould be of most unwieldy size.
+
+Then holding you by the hand the Stage may next lead you through the
+green and bosky places that the poets loved, and, having had your eyes
+opened to natural beauties, lo! you go down another lane, and you are
+learning about costumes, and suddenly you discover that "sumptuary laws"
+once existed, confining the use of furs, velvets, laces, etc., to the
+nobility. Fine woollens and linens, and gold and silver ornaments being
+also reserved for the privileged orders. That the extravagant young maids
+and beaux of the lower class who indulged in yellow starched-ruff, furred
+mantle, or silver chain were made to pay a cruel price for their folly
+in aping their betters. So it was well for me to make a note of the date
+of the "sumptuary law," that I might not some day outrageously overdress
+a character.
+
+It is a delightful study, that of costume--to learn how to drape the
+toga, how to hang the peplum; to understand the meaning of a bit of
+ribbon in the hair, whether as arranged in the three-banded fillet of the
+Grecian girl or as the snood of the Scottish lassie; to know enough of
+the cestus and the law governing its wearing, not to humiliate yourself
+in adopting it on improper occasions; to have at least a bowing
+acquaintance with all foot-gear, from sandals down to an Oxford tie; to
+be able to scatter your puffed, slashed, or hanging sleeves over the
+centuries, with their correct accompanying, small-close, large-round, or
+square-upstanding ruffs. Why the mere detail of girdles and hanging
+pouches, from distant queens down to "Faust's" _Gretchen_, was a joy in
+itself.
+
+Then a girl who played pages, and other young boys, was naturally anxious
+to know all about doublets, trunks, and hose, as well as Scottish
+"philibeg and sporran." And wigs? I used to wonder if anyone could ever
+learn all about wigs--and I'm wondering yet.
+
+But as one studies the coming and going of past fashions in garments, it
+is amusing to note their influence upon the cabinet-makers, as it is
+expressed in the changing shape of their chairs. For instance: when
+panniers developed into farthingale and monstrous hoop, chairs, high and
+narrow, widened, lowered their arms--dropped them entirely, making indeed
+a fair start toward our own great easy-chair of to-day.
+
+I remember well what a jump my heart gave when in rooting about among
+materials--their weaves and dyes--I came upon the term "samite." It's a
+word that always thrills me, "samite, mystic, wonderful." Almost I was
+afraid to read what might follow; but I need not have hesitated, since
+the statement was that "samite" was supposed to have been a delicate web
+of silk and gold or silver thread. How beautiful such a combination must
+have been--white silk woven with threads of silver might well become
+"mystic, wonderful," when wrapped about the chill, high beauty of an
+Arthur's face.
+
+But hie and away, to armor and arms! for she would be but a poorly
+equipped actress who had no knowledge of sword and buckler, of solid
+armor, chain-mail, rings of metal on velvet, or of plain leather
+jerkin--of scimitar, sword, broadsword, foil, dagger, dirk, stiletto,
+creese.
+
+Oh, no! don't pull your hand away if the Stage wants to lead you among
+arms and armor for a little while; be patient, for by and by it will take
+you up, up into the high, clear place where Shakespeare dwells, and there
+you may try your wings and marvel at the pleasure of each short upward
+flight, for the loving student of Shakespeare always rises--never sinks.
+Your power of insight grows clearer, stronger, and as you are lifted
+higher and higher on the wings of imagination, more and more widely opens
+the wonderful land beneath, more and more clearly the voices of its
+people reach you. You catch their words and you treasure them, and by and
+by, through much loving thought, you comprehend them, after which you can
+no longer be an uneducated woman, since no man's wisdom is superior to
+Shakespeare's, and no one gives of his wisdom more lavishly than he.
+
+Therefore, while a regular school-education is a thing to be thankful
+for, the actress who has been denied it need not despair. If she be
+willing to work, the Stage will educate her--nor will it curtly turn her
+away at the end of a few years, telling her her "term" is ended. I clung
+tightly to its hand for many a year, and was taken a little way through
+music's halls, loitered for a time before the easel, and even made a
+little rush at a foreign language to help me to the proper pronunciation
+of names upon the stage; and no man, no woman all that time rose up to
+call me ignorant. So I give all thanks and all honor to the profession
+that not only fed and clothed me, but educated me too!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWELFTH
+
+  The Peter Richings' Engagement brings me my First Taste of
+  Slander--Anent the Splendor of my Wardrobe, also my First Newspaper
+  Notice.
+
+
+I remember particularly that second season, because it brought to me the
+first taste of slander, my first newspaper notice, and my first proposal
+of marriage. The latter being, according to my belief, the natural result
+of lengthening my skirts and putting up my hair--at all events, it was a
+part of my education.
+
+Of course the question of wardrobe was a most important one still. I had
+done very well, so far as peasant dresses of various nationalities were
+concerned; I had even acquired a page's dress of my own, but I had no
+ball-dress, nothing but a plain, skimpy white muslin gown, which I had
+outgrown; for I had gained surprisingly in height with the passing year.
+And, lo! the report went about that Mr. Peter Richings and his daughter
+Caroline were coming in a fortnight, and they would surely do their play
+"Fashion," in which everyone was on in a dance; and I knew everyone would
+bring out her best for that attraction, for you must know that actresses
+in a stock company grade their costumes by the stars, and only bring out
+the very treasures of their wardrobes on state occasions. I was in great
+distress; one of my mates had a genuine silk dress, the other owned a
+bunch of artificial gold grapes, horribly unbecoming, stiff things, but,
+mercy, gold grapes! who cared whether they were becoming or not? Were
+they not gorgeous (a lady star had given them to her)? And I would have
+to drag about, heavy-footed, in a skimpy muslin!
+
+But in the company there was a lady who had three charming little
+children. She was the singing soubrette (by name Mrs. James Dickson). One
+of her babies became sick, and I sometimes did small bits of shopping or
+other errands for her, thus permitting her to go at once from rehearsal
+to her beloved babies. Entering her room from one of these errands, I
+found her much vexed and excited over the destruction of one of a set of
+fine new lace curtains. The nursemaid had carelessly set it on fire. Of
+course Mrs. Dickson would have to buy two more curtains to replace them;
+and now, with the odd one in her hand, she started toward her trunk,
+paused doubtfully, and finally said to me: "Could you use this curtain
+for some small window or something, Clara?"
+
+At her very first word a dazzling possibility presented itself to my
+mind. With burning cheeks, I answered: "Oh, yes, ma'am, I--I can use it,
+but not at a window, I'm afraid." Her bonnie face flashed into smiles.
+
+"All right; take it along, then!" she cried, "and do what you like with
+it. It's only been up two days, and has not a mark on it."
+
+I fairly flew from the house. I sang, as I made my way uptown to buy
+several yards of rose-pink paper cambric and a half garland of
+American-made artificial roses. Then I sped home and, behind locked
+doors, measured and cut and snipped, and, regardless of possible
+accident, held about a gill of pins in my mouth while I hummed over my
+work. All my fears were gone, they had fled before the waving white
+curtain, which fortunately for me was of fine meshed net, carrying for
+design unusually small garlands of roses and daisies. And when the great
+night came, I appeared as one of the ball guests in a pink under-slip,
+with white lace overdress, whose low waist was garlanded with wild roses.
+So, happy at heart and light of foot, I danced with the rest, my pink and
+white gown ballooning about me in the courtesies with as much rustle and
+glow of color as though it had been silk.
+
+But, alas! the imitation was too good a one! The pretty, cheap little
+gown I was so happy over attracted the attention of a woman whose whisper
+meant scandal, whose lifted brow was an innuendo, whose drooped lid was
+an accusation. Like a carrion bird she fed best upon corruption. Thank
+Heaven! this cruel creature, hated by the men, feared by the women, was
+not an actress, but through mistaken kindness she had been made wardrobe
+woman, where, as Mr. Ellsler once declared, she spent her time in ripping
+up and destroying the reputation of his actors instead of making and
+repairing their wardrobes.
+
+That nothing was too small to catch her pale, cold eye is proved by the
+fact that even a ballet-girl's dress received her attention. Next day,
+after the play "Fashion" had been done, this woman was saying: "That
+girl's mother had better be looking after her conduct, I think!"
+
+"Why, what on earth has Clara done?" asked her listener.
+
+"Done!" she cried, "didn't you see her flaunting herself around the stage
+last night in silks and laces no honest girl could own? Where did the
+money come from that paid for such finery?"
+
+A few days later a woman who boarded in the house favored by the
+mischief-maker happened to meet Mrs. Dickson, happily for me, and said,
+_en passant_: "Which one of your ballet-girls is it who has taken to
+dressing with so much wicked extravagance? I wonder Mrs. Ellsler don't
+notice it."
+
+Now Mrs. Dickson was Scotch, generous, and "unco" quick-tempered, and
+after she had put the inquiring friend right, she visited her wrath upon
+the originator of the slander in person, and verily the Scottish burr was
+on her tongue, and her "r's" rolled famously while she explained the
+component parts of that extravagant costume: window curtain--her
+gift--and paper cambric and artificial flowers to the cost of one dollar
+and seventy-five cents; "and you'll admit," she cried, "that even the
+purse of a 'gude lass' can stand sic a strain as that; and what's mair,
+you wicked woman, had the girl been worse dressed than the others, you
+would ha' been the first to call attention to her as slovenly and
+careless."
+
+This was the first drop of scandal expressed especially for me, and I not
+only found the taste bitter--very bitter--but learned that it had
+wonderful powers of expansion, and that the odor it gives off is rather
+pleasant in the nostrils of everyone save its object.
+
+Mrs. Dickson, who, by the way, is still doing good work professionally,
+has doubtless forgotten the entire incident, curtain and all, but she
+never will forget the bonnie baby-girl she lost that summer, and she will
+remember me because I loved the little one--that's a mother's way.
+
+Mr. Peter B. Richings was that joy of the actor's heart--a character. He
+had been accounted a very fine actor in his day, but he was a very old
+man when I saw him, and his powers were much impaired. Six feet tall,
+high-featured, Roman-nosed, elegantly dressed; a term from bygone
+days--and not disrespectfully used--describes him perfectly: he was an
+"old Buck!"
+
+His immeasurable pride made him hide a stiffening of the joints under the
+forced jauntiness of his step, while a trembling of the head became in
+him only a sort of debonair senility at worst. Arrogant, short-tempered,
+and a veritable martinet, he nevertheless possessed an unbending dignity
+and a certain crabbed courtliness of manner very suggestive of the
+snuff-box and ruffle period of a hundred years before.
+
+His daughter, by adoption, was the object of his unqualified worship--no
+other word can possibly express his attitude toward her. No heavenly
+choir could have charmed him as she did when she sang, while her
+intellectual head and marble-cold face seemed beautiful beyond compare in
+his eyes. Really it was worth going far to see him walk through a
+quadrille with her. His bow was a thing for young actors to dream of,
+while with trembling head, held high in air, he advanced and retreated,
+executing antiquated "steps" with a grace that deprived them of
+comicality, while his air of arrogant superiority changed instantly to
+profound homage whenever in the movement of the figures he met his
+daughter.
+
+His pronunciation of her name was as a flourish of trumpets--Car-o-line!
+Each syllable distinct, the "C" given with great fulness, and the
+emphasis on the first syllable when pleased, but heavily placed upon the
+last when he was annoyed.
+
+He was unconscionably vain of his likeness to Washington, and there were
+few Friday nights, this being considered the fashionable evening of the
+week, that he failed to present his allegorical picture of Washington
+receiving the homage of the States, while Miss Richings, as _Columbia_,
+sang the "Star-Spangled Banner," the States joining in the chorus.
+
+In this tableau the circular opening in the flat, backed by a sky-drop
+and with blue clouds hanging about the opening, represented heaven. And
+here, at an elevation, Washington stood at the right, with _Columbia_ and
+her flag on his left, while the States, represented by the ladies of the
+company, stood in lines up and down the stage, quite outside of heaven.
+
+Now a most ridiculous story anent Mr. Richings and this heaven of his was
+circulating through the entire profession. Some of our company refused to
+believe it, declaring it a mere spiteful skit against his well-known
+exclusiveness; but that gentleman who had wished to send me for an
+"Ibid," being an earnest seeker after knowledge, determined to test the
+truth of the story. Therefore, after we had been carefully rehearsed in
+the music and had been informed by the star that only Car-O-line and
+himself were to stand back of that skylike opening, this "inquiring"
+person gave one of the extra girls fifty cents to go at night before the
+curtain rose and take her stand on the forbidden spot. She took the money
+and followed directions exactly, and when Mr. Richings, as _Washington_,
+made his pompous way to the stage, he stood a moment in speechless wrath,
+and then, trembling with anger, he stamped his foot, and waving his arm,
+cried: "Go a-way! Go a-way! you very presuming young person; this is
+heaven, and I told you this morning that only my daughter Car-O-line and
+I could possibly stand in heaven!"
+
+It was enough; the "inquiring one" was rolling about with joy at his
+work. He had taken a rise out of the old gentleman and proved the truth
+of the story which had gone abroad in the land as to this claim of all
+heaven for himself and his Car-O-line.
+
+I naturally remember these stars with great clearness, since it was for a
+small part in one of their plays that I received my first newspaper
+notice. Imagine my incredulous joy when I was told of this journalistic
+feat--unheard of before--of praising the work of a ballet-girl.
+Suspecting a joke, I did not obtain a paper until late in the day, and
+after I had several times been told of it. Then I ventured forth, bought
+a copy of the _Herald_, and lo, before my dazzled eyes appeared my own
+name. Ah, few critics, with their best efforts, have thrown as rosy a
+light upon the world as did Mr. Jake Sage with his trite ten-word
+statement: "Clara Morris played the small part allotted to her well."
+
+My heart throbbed hard, I seemed to catch a glimpse, through the rosy
+light, of a far-away Temple of Fame, and this notice was like a petal
+blown to me from the roses that wreathed its portals. Could I ever, ever
+reach them!
+
+"Played the small part allotted to her well." "Oh," I cried aloud, "I
+will try to do everything well--I will, indeed!" and then I cut the
+notice out and folded it in a sheet of paper, and put both in an envelope
+and pinned that fast to my pocket, that I might take it to my mother, who
+was very properly impressed, and was a long time reading its few words,
+and was more than a trifle misty about the eyes when she gave it back to
+me. Looking at them now, the words seem rather dry and scant, but then
+they had all the sweetness, life, and color of a June rose--the most
+perfect thing of God's bounteous giving.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTEENTH
+
+  Mr. Roberts Refers to Me as "That Young Woman," to My Great Joy--I
+  Issue the "Clara Code"--I Receive my First Offer of Marriage.
+
+
+My mother, moved at last by my highly colored accounts of the
+humiliations brought upon me by the shortness of my skirts, consented to
+their lengthening, and though I knew she had meant them to stop at my
+shoe-tops, I basely allowed a misunderstanding to arise with the
+dress-maker, through which my new dress came home the full length of the
+grown-ups, and though my conscience worried me a bit, I still snatched a
+fearful joy from my stolen dignity, and many a day I walked clear up to
+Superior Street that I might slowly pass the big show-windows and enjoy
+the reflection therein of my long dress-skirt. Of course I could not
+continue to wear my hair _a la_ pigtail, and that went up in the then
+fashionable chignon.
+
+Few circumstances in my life have given me such unalloyed satisfaction as
+did my first proposal of marriage. I should, however, be more exact if I
+spoke of an "attempted proposal," for it was not merely interrupted, but
+was simply mangled out of all likeness to sentiment or romance. The party
+of the first part in this case was Mr. Frank Murdoch, who later on became
+the author of "Davy Crockett," the play that did so much toward the
+making and the unmaking of the reputation of that brilliant actor, the
+late Frank Mayo. He was the adoring elder brother of that successful
+young Harry Murdoch who was to meet such an awful fate in the Brooklyn
+Theatre fire. Neither of them, by the way, were born to the name of
+Murdoch; they were the sons of James E.'s sister, and when, in spite of
+his advice and warning, they decided to become actors, they added insult
+to injury, as it were, by demanding of him the use of his name--their own
+being a particularly unattractive one for a play-bill. He let them plead
+long and hard before he yielded and allowed them to take for life the
+name of Murdoch--which as a trade-mark, and quite aside from sentiment,
+had a real commercial value to these young fellows who had yet to prove
+their individual personal worth.
+
+Frank was very young--indeed, our united ages would have barely reached
+thirty-six. He had good height, a good figure, and an air of gentle
+breeding; otherwise he was unattractive, and yet he bore a striking
+resemblance to his uncle, James Murdoch, who had a fine head and most
+regular features. But through some caprice of nature in the nephew those
+same features received a touch of exaggeration here, or a slight twist
+there, with the odd result of keeping the resemblance to the uncle
+intact, while losing all his beauty. Frank had a quixotic sense of honor
+and a warm and generous heart, but being extremely sensitive as to his
+personal defects he was often led into bursts of temper, during which he
+frequently indulged in the most childish follies. These outbreaks were
+always brief, and ever followed by deep contrition, so that he was
+generally regarded as a very clever, spoiled child.
+
+Poor boy! his life was as sad as it was short. There may be few who
+remember him now, but a woman never forgets the man who first pays a
+compliment to her eyes, nor can I forget the first man who handed me a
+chair and opened and closed doors for me, just as for any grown-up.
+
+He joined the company in about the middle of that season in which I acted
+principally as utility man. He was to play singing parts and young
+lovers, and, to his amusement, I criticized his reading of one of
+_Cassio's_ speeches. Our wrangle over Shakespeare made friends of us at
+once. He had a veritable passion for poetry, and with me he felt free to
+bring out his beautiful hobby to mount and ride and ride, with some of
+the great poets up behind and me for applauding audience. When he wanted
+me to know some special poem he bought it for me if he could; but if he
+was short of money, he carefully copied out its every line, tied the
+manuscript neatly up with ribbon, and presented the poem in that form. I
+came across a copy of "Maud Muller" the other day in Frank's clear, even
+handwriting. The paper was yellow, the ribbon faded. Frank is gone,
+Whittier is gone, but "Maud Muller" lives on in her immortal youth and
+pain.
+
+But the morning when he first brought and offered me a chair was nothing
+less than an epoch in my life. At first I regarded the act as an
+aspersion on my strength--a doubt cast upon my ability to obtain a seat
+for myself. Then, as I glanced frowningly into his face, I suddenly
+realized that it was meant as a mark of consideration--the courtesy a man
+shows a woman. A glow of satisfaction spread through my being. I hated to
+rise, I was so afraid the thing might never happen to me again. I need
+not have worried, however, as I was soon to receive a more impressive
+proof of his consideration for my welfare.
+
+One of the most unpleasant experiences in the life of a young actress is
+her frightened lonely rush through the city streets at twelve o'clock at
+night to reach her boarding-house and claim sanctuary. I doubt if even a
+Una and her lion could pass unmolested through those streets dotted with
+all-night "free and easys," where, by the way, nothing is free but the
+poisonous air, and nothing easy but the language. At all events from my
+own varied and unpleasant experiences, and from the stories of others, I
+had first drawn certain deductions, then I had proceeded to establish
+certain rules for the guidance and direction of any girl who was so
+unfortunate as to be forced to walk abroad unattended at night. These
+rules became known as "Clara's Code," and were highly approved,
+especially by those girls who "couldn't think," as they declared, but
+stood stock-still, "too frightened to move," when some wanderer of the
+night unceremoniously addressed them.
+
+I cannot remember all those rules now, since for these many years God has
+granted me a protector, but from the few I can recall I am convinced that
+their principal object was to gain plenty of leeway for the persecuted
+girl's escape. No. 3 sternly forbade her ever, _ever_ to pass between two
+advancing men--at night, of course, be it understood--lest they might
+seize hold of and so frighten her to death. She was advised never to
+permit herself to take the inside of the walk when meeting a stranger,
+who might thus crowd her against the house and cut off her chance to run.
+Never to pass the opening to an alley-way without placing the entire
+width of the walk between her and it, and always to keep her eyes on it
+as she crossed. Never to let any man pass her from behind on the outside
+was insisted on, indeed she should take to the street itself first. She
+was not to answer a drunken man, no matter what might be the nature of
+his speech. She was not to scream--if she could help it--for fear of
+public humiliation, but if the worst came and some hideous prowler of the
+night passed from speech to actual attack, then she was to forget her
+ladyhood and remembering only the tenderness of the male shin and her
+right of self-defence, to kick like a colt till help came or she was
+released.
+
+Other portions of the code I have forgotten, but I do distinctly remember
+that it wound up with the really Hoyle-like observation, "When in doubt,
+take to the centre of the street."
+
+We all know the magic power of the moonlight--have seen it transmute the
+commonest ugliness into perfect beauty and change a world-worn woman into
+the veriest lily-maid, but how few know the dread power exerted over man
+by the street gaslight after midnight. The kindest old drake of the
+farm-pond, the most pompously harmless gobbler of the buckwheat-field
+becomes a vulture beneath the midnight street-light. A man who would
+shoot for being called a blackguard between seven o'clock in the morning
+and twelve at night, often becomes one after midnight. It is frequently
+said that "words break no bones," but let a young girl pass alone through
+the city streets a few nights and she will probably hear words that,
+drowning her in shamed blushes, will go far toward breaking her pride, if
+not her bones. Men seem to be creatures of very narrow margin--they so
+narrowly escape being gods, and they so much more narrowly escape being
+animals. Under the sunlight, man, made in the image of God, lifts his
+face heavenward and walks erect; under the street-lamps of midnight he is
+stealthy, he prowls, he is a visible destruction! You think I exaggerate
+the matter? Do not; I speak from experience. And, what is more, at that
+time I had not yet learned what the streets of New York could produce
+after midnight.
+
+But on the night after the chair episode, Frank Murdoch heard one of the
+girls say she had used the Clara Code very successfully the night before,
+when two drunken men had reeled out of an alley, who would have collided
+with her had she not followed the rule and kept the whole sidewalk
+between them. He stood at the door as I came down-stairs, and as soon as
+I reached him he asked, sharply: "Do you go home alone of nights?"
+
+"Yes," I answered.
+
+"Good God!" he muttered.
+
+After a pause I looked up at him, and met his eyes shining wet and blue
+through two tears. "Oh," I hastily added, "there's nothing to be afraid
+of."
+
+"I wish I could agree with you," he answered. "Tell me," he went on,
+"have you ever been annoyed by anyone?"
+
+My eyes fell, I knew I was growing red.
+
+"Good God!" he said again, then, suddenly, he ordered: "Give me that
+bag--you'll not go through these streets alone again while I am here!
+Never mind the distance. I don't see why you can't take my arm."
+
+And thus I found myself for the first time escorted by a gentleman, and
+after my hot embarrassment wore off a bit, I held my head very high and
+languidly allowed my skirt to trail in the dust, and said to myself:
+"This is like a real grown-up--surely they can't call me 'child' much
+longer now."
+
+The star playing with us just then was a tragedian, but he was a very
+little man, whose air of alertness, even of aggressiveness, had won for
+him the title of "Cocky" Roberts. He wore enormously high heels, he had
+thick cork soles on the outside and thick extra soles on the inside of
+all his boots and shoes. His wigs were slightly padded at their
+tops--everything possible was done for a gain in height, while all the
+time he was sputtering and swearing at what he called "this cursed cult
+of legs!"
+
+"Look at 'em!" he snorted--for he did snort like a horse when he was
+angry, as he often was, at the theatre at least. "Look at 'em, Ellsler;
+there's Murdoch, Proctor, Davenport, all gone to legs, damn 'em, and
+calling themselves actors! You don't look for brains in a man's legs, do
+you? No! no! it's the cranium that tells! Yes, blast 'em! Let 'em come
+here and match craniums with me, that they think it smart to call
+'Cocky'! They're a lot of theatrical tongs--all legs and no heads!"
+
+And yet the poor, fuming little man, with his exaggerated strut, would
+have given anything short of his life, to have added even a few inches to
+his anatomy, the brevity of which was quite forgotten by the public when
+he gave his really brilliant and pathetic performance of "Belphegor," one
+of the earliest of the so-called "emotional" plays.
+
+I have a very kindly remembrance of that fretful little star, because
+when they were discussing the cast of a play, one of those tormenting
+parts turned up that are of great importance to the piece, but of no
+importance themselves. Capable actresses refuse to play them, and
+incapable ones create havoc in them. This one had already been refused,
+when Mr. Roberts suddenly exclaimed: "Who was it made those announcements
+last night? She spoke with beautiful distinctness; let _that_ young woman
+have the part, she'll do it all right."
+
+Oh, dear Mr. Roberts! never "Cocky" to me! Oh, wise little judge! how I
+did honor him for those precious words: "Let that young woman have the
+part." That "_young woman_!" I could have embraced him for very
+gratitude--a part _and_ the term "young woman," and since, as my old
+washerwoman used to say, "it never rains but it pours," while these two
+words were still making music in my ears, by some flash of intuition I
+realized that I was being courted by Frank. The discovery filled me with
+the utmost satisfaction. I gave no thought to him, in a sentimental way,
+either then or ever; quite selfishly I thought only of my own gain in
+dignity and importance, for I started out in life with the old-fashioned
+idea that a man honored a woman by his courtship, and I knew naught of
+the lover who "loves and rides away." Yet in a few days the curious
+cat-like instinct of the unconscious coquette awakened in me, and I began
+very gently to try my claws.
+
+I wished very much to know if he were jealous, as I had been told that
+real lovers were always so; and, naturally, I did not wish mine to fall
+short of any of the time-honored attributes of loverdom. Therefore I, one
+morning, selected for experimental use a man whose volume of speech was a
+terror to all. Had he been put to the sword, he would have talked to the
+swordsman till the final blow cut his speech. He was most unattractive,
+too, in appearance, being one of those actors who get shaved after
+rehearsal instead of before it, thus gaining a reputation for untidiness
+that facts may not always justify--but he served my purpose all the
+better for that.
+
+I deliberately placed myself at his side; I was only a ballet-girl, but I
+had two good ears--I was welcome. Conversation, or rather the monologue,
+burst forth. Standing at the side of the stage, with rehearsal going on,
+he of course spoke low. I watched for Frank's arrival. He came, I heard
+his cheery "Good-morning, ladies! good-morning, gentlemen!" and then he
+started toward me, but I heard nothing, saw nothing of _him_. My upraised
+eyes, as wide as I possibly could make them, were fixed upon the face of
+the talker. Yet, with a jump of the heart, I knew the brightness had gone
+from Frank's face, the spring from his step. I smiled as sweetly as I
+knew how; I seemed to hang upon the words of the untidy one, and oh! if
+Frank could only have known what those words were; how I was being
+assured that he, the speaker, had that very morning succeeded in stopping
+a leaky hole in his shoe by melting a piece of india-rubber over and on
+it, and that not a drop of water had penetrated when he had walked
+through the rain-puddles; and right there, like music, there came to my
+listening ear a word of four letters--a forbidden word, but one full of
+consolation to the distressed male; a word beginning with "d," and for
+fear that you may think it was "dear," why, I will be explicit and say
+that it was "damn!" and that it was from the anger-whitened lips of
+Frank, who during the morning gave not only to me, but to all lookers-on,
+most convincing proof of his jealousy, and that was the beginning of my
+experiments.
+
+I did this, to see if it would make him angry. I did that, to see if it
+would please him. Sometimes I scratched him with my investigating claws,
+then I was sorry--truly sorry, because I was grateful always for his
+gentle goodness to me, and never meant to hurt him. But he represented
+the entire sex to me, and I was learning all I could, thinking, as I once
+told him, that the knowledge might be useful on the stage some time, and
+I wondered at the very fury my words provoked in him.
+
+We quarrelled sometimes like spiteful children, as when I, startled into
+laughter by hearing his voice break in a speech, unfortunately excused
+myself by saying: "It was just like a young rooster, you know!" and he,
+white with anger, cried: "You're a solid mass of rudeness, to laugh at a
+misfortune; you have no breeding!"
+
+This brought from me the rejoinder: "I know it, but you would have shown
+better breeding yourself had you not told me of it!"
+
+And then he was on his knee in the entrance, begging forgiveness, and
+saying his "cursed, cracking voice made a madman of him!"
+
+As it really did, for he often accused people of guying him if they did
+but clear their own throats. And so we went on till something in his
+manner--his increased efforts to find me alone at rehearsal, for as I was
+without a room-mate in Columbus, I could not receive him at home, and I
+truly think he would have kept silence forever rather than have urged me
+to break any conventional rule of propriety--this something gave me the
+idea that Frank was going to be--well--explicit, that--that--I was going
+to be proposed to according to established form.
+
+Now, though a proposal of marriage is a thing to look forward to with
+desire, to look back upon with pride, it is also a thing to avoid when it
+is in the immediate future, and I so successfully evaded his efforts to
+find me alone, at the theatre or at some friend's house, that he was
+forced at last to speak at night, while escorting me home.
+
+I lodged in a quiet little street, opening out of the busier, more noisy
+Kinsman Street. In our front yard there lived a large, greedy old tree,
+which had planted its foot firmly in the very middle of the path, thus
+forcing everyone to _chasse_ around it who wished to enter the house. Its
+newly donned summer greenery extended far over the gate, and as the moon
+shone full and fair the "set" was certainly appropriate.
+
+We reached the gate, and I held out my hand for my bag--that small
+catch-all of a bag that, in the hand of the actress, is the outward and
+visible sign of her profession; but he let the bag slip to the walk and
+caught my hand in his. The street was deserted. Leaning against the gate
+beneath the sheltering boughs of the old tree, the midnight silence all
+about us, he began to speak earnestly.
+
+I made a frantic search through my mind for something to say presently,
+when my turn would come to speak. I rejected instantly the ancient wail
+of "suddenness." Frank's temper did not encourage an offer of
+"sisterhood." I was just catching joyously at the idea of hiding behind
+the purely imaginary opposition of my mother, when Frank's words: "Then,
+too, dear heart! I could protect you, and--" were interrupted by a yowl,
+so long, so piercing, it seemed to rise like a rocket of anguish into the
+summer sky.
+
+"Oh!" I thought, "that's one-eared Jim from next door, and if our Simmons
+hears him--and he'd have to be dead not to hear--he will come out to
+fight him!" I clenched my teeth, I dropped my eyes that Frank might not
+see the threatening laughter there. I noted how much whiter his hand was
+than mine, as they were clasped in the moonlight. The pause had been
+long; then, very gently, he started again: "Mignonne!"
+
+Distinctly I heard the thump of Simmons's body dropping from the
+porch-roof. "Mignonne, look up! you big-eyed child, and tell me that I
+may go to your mother with your promise!"
+
+"Mi-au! Mi-au! Wow! Spit! Spit! Wow!" Four balls of fire glowed for a
+moment beneath the tree, then two dark forms became one dark form, that
+whirled and bounded through space, emitting awful sounds. The cats were
+too much for me, I threw back my head and laughed.
+
+My laugh was too much for Frank. His temper broke, he flung my hand away,
+crying out: "Laugh, you little idiot! You're worse than the animals, for
+they at least know no better! Laugh till morning, if you like!" and then
+I'm sorry to say it, but he kicked my bag, the precious insignia of my
+profession, and rushed down the street, leaving me standing there amid
+the debris of the wrecked proposal.
+
+Next night he frigidly presented himself to escort me home, and when I
+coldly declined his company, he turned silently and left me. Truth to
+tell, I did not enjoy my walk alone, through the market-place in
+particular, and I planned to unbend a little the next evening; but I was
+much piqued to find myself without an excuse for unbending, since on the
+next evening he did not offer his company. The third night there was a
+big lump in my throat, and the tears would have fallen had they not been
+suddenly dried in my eyes by the sight of a familiar light-gray suit
+slipping along close to the houses on the other side of the way.
+Petulant, irritable, loyal-hearted boy! he had safe-guarded me both those
+nights when I thought I was alone! My heart was warm with gratitude
+toward him, and when I reached my gate, and passed inside, I called
+across the street: "Thank you, Frank! Good-night!"
+
+And he laughed and answered: "Good-night, Mignonne!"
+
+And so it came about that Frank's wooing, being of the strict and stately
+order, I gradually came to be Miss Morris to others beside himself. I saw
+my advance in dignity, and if I did not love him I gave him profound
+gratitude, and we were true friends his short and honorable life
+through.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FOURTEENTH
+
+Mr. Wilkes Booth comes to us, the whole Sex Loves him--Mr. Ellsler
+Compares him to his Great Father--Our Grief and Horror over the Awful
+Tragedy at Washington.
+
+
+In glancing back over those two crowded and busy seasons one figure
+stands out with such clearness and beauty that I cannot resist the
+impulse to speak of him, rather than of my own inconsequential self. In
+his case only (so far as my personal knowledge goes) there was nothing
+derogatory to dignity or to manhood in being called beautiful, for he was
+that bud of splendid promise, blasted to the core before its full
+triumphant blooming--known to the world as a madman and an assassin--but
+to the profession as "that unhappy boy," John Wilkes Booth.
+
+He was so young, so bright, so gay, so kind. I could not have known him
+well. Of course, too, there are two or three different people in every
+man's skin, yet when we remember that stars are not generally in the
+habit of showing their brightest, their best side to the company at
+rehearsal, we cannot help feeling both respect and liking for the one who
+does.
+
+There are not many men who can receive a gash over the eye in a scene at
+night without at least a momentary outburst of temper, but when the
+combat between _Richard_ and _Richmond_ was being rehearsed, Mr. Booth
+had again and again urged Mr. McCollom (that six-foot tall and handsome
+leading man, who entrusted me with the care of his watch during such
+encounters) to "Come on hard! Come on hot! Hot, old fellow!
+Harder--faster!" He'd take the chance of a blow, if only they could make
+a hot fight of it.
+
+And Mr. McCollom, who was a cold man, at night became nervous in his
+effort to act like a fiery one. He forgot he had struck the full number
+of head blows, and when Booth was pantingly expecting a thrust, McCollom,
+wielding his sword with both hands, brought it down with awful force fair
+across Booth's forehead. A cry of horror rose, for in one moment his face
+was masked in blood, one eyebrow being cut cleanly through. There came,
+simultaneously, one deep groan from _Richard_, and the exclamation: "Oh,
+good God! good God!" from _Richmond_, who stood shaking like a leaf and
+staring at his work. Then Booth, flinging the blood from his eyes with
+his left hand, said, as genially as man could speak: "That's all right,
+old man! never mind me--only come on hard, for God's sake, and save the
+fight!"
+
+Which he resumed at once, and though he was perceptibly weakened, it
+required the sharp order of Mr. Ellsler to "ring the first curtain bell,"
+to force him to bring the fight to a close, a single blow shorter than
+usual. Then there was a running to and fro, with ice and vinegar paper
+and raw steak and raw oysters. When the doctor had placed a few stitches
+where they were most required, he laughingly declared there was provision
+enough in the room to start a restaurant. Mr. McCollom came to try to
+apologize, to explain, but Booth would have none of it; he had out his
+hand, crying: "Why, old fellow, you look as if _you_ had lost the blood.
+Don't worry. Now if my eye had gone, that _would_ have been bad!" And so,
+with light words, he tried to set the unfortunate man at ease, and though
+he must have suffered much mortification as well as pain from the eye,
+that in spite of all endeavors would blacken, he never made a sign.
+
+He was, like his great elder brother, rather lacking in height, but his
+head and throat, and the manner of its rising from his shoulders, were
+truly beautiful. His coloring was unusual, the ivory pallor of his skin,
+the inky blackness of his densely thick hair, the heavy lids of his
+glowing eyes, were all Oriental, and they gave a touch of mystery to his
+face when it fell into gravity; but there was generally a flash of white
+teeth behind his silky mustache, and a laugh in his eyes.
+
+One thing I shall never cease to admire him for. When a man has placed a
+clean and honest name in his wife's care for life, about the most
+stupidly wicked use she can make of it is as a signature to a burst of
+amatory flattery, addressed to an unknown actor, who will despise her for
+her trouble. Some women may shrivel as though attacked with "peach-leaf
+curl" when they hear how these silly letters are sometimes passed about
+and laughed at. "No gentleman would so betray a confidence!" Of course
+not; but once when I made that remark to an actor, who was then flaunting
+the food his vanity fed upon, he roughly answered: "And no _lady_ would
+so address an unknown man. She cast away her right to respectful
+consideration when she thrust that letter in the box." That was brutal;
+but there are those who think like him this very day, and oh, foolish
+tamperers with fire, who act like him!
+
+Now it is scarcely an exaggeration to say the sex was in love with John
+Booth, the name Wilkes being apparently unknown to his family and close
+friends. At depot restaurants those fiercely unwilling maiden-slammers of
+plates and shooters of coffee-cups made to him swift and gentle offerings
+of hot steaks, hot biscuits, hot coffee, crowding round him like doves
+about a grain basket, leaving other travellers to wait upon themselves or
+go without refreshment. At the hotels, maids had been known to enter his
+room and tear asunder the already made-up bed, that the "turn-over" might
+be broader by a thread or two, and both pillows slant at the perfectly
+correct angle. At the theatre, good heaven! as the sunflowers turn upon
+their stalks to follow the beloved sun, so old or young, our faces
+smiling, turned to him. Yes, old or young, for the little daughter of the
+manager, who played but the _Duke of York_ in "Richard III.," came to
+the theatre each day, each night of the engagement, arrayed in her best
+gowns, and turned on him fervid eyes that might well have served for
+_Juliet_. The manager's wife, whose sternly aggressive virtue no one
+could doubt or question, with the aid of art waved and fluffed her hair,
+and softened thus her too hard line of brow, and let her keen black eyes
+fill with friendly sparkles for us all--yet, 'twas because of him. And
+when the old woman made to threaten him with her finger, and he caught
+her lifted hand, and uncovering his bonnie head, stooped and kissed it,
+then came the wanton blood up in her cheek as she had been a girl again.
+
+His letters then from flirtatious women, and, alas! girls, you may well
+believe were legion. A cloud used to gather upon his face at sight of
+them. I have of course no faintest idea that he lived the godly,
+righteous, and sober life that is enjoined upon us all, but I do remember
+with respect that this idolized man, when the letters were many and
+rehearsal already on, would carefully cut off every signature and utterly
+destroy them, then pile the unread letters up, and, I don't know what
+their final end was, but he remarked with knit brows, as he caught me
+watching him at his work one morning: "They," pointing to the pile of
+mutilated letters, "they are harmless now, little one; their sting lies
+in the tail!" and when a certain free and easy actor, laughingly picked
+up a very elegantly written note, and said: "I can read it, can't I, now
+the signature is gone?" He answered, shortly: "The woman's folly is no
+excuse for our knavery--lay the letter down, please!"
+
+I played the _Player-Queen_ to my great joy, and in the "Marble Heart" I
+was one of the group of three statues in the first act. We were supposed
+to represent _Lais_, _Aspasia_, and _Phryne_, and when we read the cast,
+I glanced at the other girls (we were not strikingly handsome), and
+remarked, gravely: "Well, it's a comfort to know that we look so like the
+three beautiful Grecians."
+
+A laugh at our backs brought us around suddenly to face Mr. Booth, who
+said to me: "You satirical little wretch, how do you come to know these
+Grecian ladies? Perhaps you have the advantage of them in being
+all-beautiful within?"
+
+"I wish it would strike outward, then," I answered; "you know it's always
+best to have things come to the surface!"
+
+"I know some very precious things are hidden from common sight, and I
+know, too, you caught my meaning in the first place; good-night." And he
+left us.
+
+We had been told to descend to the stage at night with our white robes
+hanging free and straight, that Mr. Booth himself might drape them as we
+stood upon the pedestal. It really is a charming picture, that of the
+statues in the first act. Against a backing of black velvet, the three
+white figures, carefully posed, strongly lighted, stand out so
+marble-like, that when they slowly turn their faces and point to their
+chosen master, the effect is uncanny enough to chill the looker-on.
+
+Well, with white wigs, white tights, and white robes, and half strangled
+with the powder we had inhaled in our efforts to make our lips stay
+white, we cautiously descended the stairs. We dared not talk, we dared
+not blink our eyes, for fear of disturbing the coat of powder; we were
+lifted to the pedestal and took our places as we expected to stand. Then
+Mr. Booth came, such a picture in his Greek garments as made even the men
+exclaim at him, and began to pose us. It happened that one of us had very
+good limbs, one medium good, and the third had apparently walked on
+broom-sticks. When Mr. Booth slightly raised the drapery of No. 3, his
+features gave a twist as though he had suddenly tasted lemon-juice, but,
+quick as a flash, he said: "I believe I'll advance you to the centre, for
+the stately and wise _Aspasia_." The central figure wore her draperies
+hanging straight to her feet, hence the "advance" and consequent
+concealment of the unlovely limbs. It was quickly and kindly done, for
+the girl was not only spared mortification, but in the word "advance"
+she saw a compliment, and was happy accordingly. Then my turn came; my
+arm was placed about _Aspasia_, my head bent and turned and twisted, my
+right hand curved upon my breast, so that the forefinger touched my chin;
+I felt I was a personified simper, but I was silent and patient until the
+arrangement of my draperies began--then I squirmed anxiously.
+
+"Take care, take care!" he cautioned, "you will sway the others if you
+move!" But, in spite of the risk of my marble make-up, I faintly groaned:
+"Oh, dear! must it be like that?"
+
+Regardless of the pins in the corner of his mouth, he burst into
+laughter, and taking a photograph from the bosom of his Greek shirt, he
+said: "I expected a protest from you, miss, so I came prepared; don't
+move your head, but just look at this."
+
+He held the picture of a group of statuary up to me: "This is you on the
+right; it's not so dreadful, now, is it?" and I cautiously murmured, that
+if I wasn't any worse than that I wouldn't mind.
+
+And so we were all satisfied and our statue scene was very successful.
+
+Next morning I saw Mr. Booth come running out of the theatre on his way
+to the telegraph office at the corner, and right in the middle of the
+walk, staring about him, stood a child--a small roamer of the stony
+streets, who had evidently got far enough beyond his native ward to
+arouse misgivings as to his personal safety, and at the very moment he
+stopped to consider matters, Mr. Booth dashed out of the stage-door and
+added to his bewilderment by capsizing him completely.
+
+"Oh, good Lord! Baby, are you hurt?" exclaimed Mr. Booth, pausing
+instantly to pick up the dirty, touselled, small heap and stand it on its
+bandy legs again.
+
+"Don't cry, little chap!" and the aforesaid little chap not only ceased
+to cry but gave him a damp and grimy smile, at which the actor bent
+toward him quickly, but paused, took out his handkerchief, and first
+carefully wiping the dirty little nose and mouth, stooped and kissed him
+heartily, put some change in each freckled paw, and continued his run to
+the telegraph office.
+
+He knew of no witness to the act. To kiss a pretty, clean child under the
+approving eyes of mamma might mean nothing but politeness, but surely it
+required the prompting of a warm and tender heart to make a young and
+thoughtless man feel for and caress such a dirty, forlorn bit of babyhood
+as that.
+
+Of his work, I suppose I was too young and too ignorant to judge
+correctly, but I remember well hearing the older members of the company
+express their opinions. Mr. Ellsler, who had been on terms of friendship
+with the elder Booth, was delighted with the promise of his work. He
+greatly admired Edwin's intellectual power, his artistic care, but
+"John," he cried, "has more of the old man's power in one performance
+than Edwin can show in a year. He has the fire, the dash, the touch of
+_strangeness_. He often produces unstudied effects at night. I question
+him, 'Did you rehearse that business to-day, John?' he answers: 'No, I
+didn't rehearse it, it just came to me in the scene, and I couldn't help
+doing it; but it went all right, didn't it?' Full of impulse, just now,
+like a colt, his heels are in the air, nearly as often as his head, but
+wait a year or two till he gets used to the harness, and quiets down a
+bit, and you will see as great an actor as America can produce!"
+
+And, by the way, speaking of Mr. Ellsler and the elder Booth, I am
+reminded that I have in my possession a letter from the latter to the
+former. It is written in a rather cramped hand, that carries the address
+and the marks of the red wafers, as that was before the appearance of
+envelopes, and it informs Mr. Ellsler that he, "Junius Brutus Booth, will
+play a star engagement of one week for the sum of--" how many dollars? if
+it were not unguessable, I should insist upon your guessing, but that
+would not be fair, so here it is--"for the sum of three hundred
+dollars," and wants to know how many and what plays he is desired to do,
+that he may select his wardrobe.
+
+Think of it--the mighty father of our Edwin asking but $300 for a week of
+such acting as he could do, which, if this bright, light-hearted boy was
+so much like him, must have been brilliant indeed.
+
+One morning, going on the stage where a group were talking with John
+Wilkes, I heard him say: "No! no, no! there's but one _Hamlet_ to my
+mind, that's my brother Edwin. You see, between ourselves, he _is
+Hamlet_, melancholy and all!"
+
+That was an awful time when the dread news came to us. We were in
+Columbus. We had been horrified by the great crime at Washington. My
+room-mate and I had from our small earnings bought some black cotton, at
+a tripled price, as all the black material in the city was not sufficient
+to meet the demand, and as we tacked it about our one window, a man,
+passing, told us the assassin had been discovered, and that he was the
+actor Booth. Hattie laughed so she nearly swallowed the tack that,
+girl-like, she held between her lips, and I, after a laugh, told him it
+was a poor subject for a jest, and we went in. There was no store in
+Columbus then where playbooks were sold, and as Mr. Ellsler had a very
+large and complete stage library, he frequently lent his books to us, and
+we would hurriedly copy out our lines and return the book for his own
+use. On that occasion he was going to study his part first and then leave
+the play with us as he passed going home. We heard his knock; I was busy
+pressing a bit of stage finery. Hattie opened the door, and then I heard
+her exclaiming: "Why--why--what?" I turned quickly. Mr. Ellsler was
+coming slowly into the room. He is a very dark man, but he was perfectly
+livid then, his lips even were blanched to the whiteness of his cheeks.
+His eyes were dreadful, they were so glassy and seemed so unseeing. He
+was devoted to his children, and all I could think of as likely to bring
+such a look upon his face was disaster to one of them, and I cried, as I
+drew a chair to him, "What is it? Oh, what has happened to them?"
+
+He sank down, he wiped his brow, he looked almost stupidly at me, then,
+very faintly, he said: "You--haven't--heard--anything?"
+
+Like a flash Hattie's eyes and mine met; we thought of the supposed
+ill-timed jest of the stranger--my lips moved wordlessly. Hattie
+stammered: "A man, he lied though, said that Wilkes Booth--but he did
+lie--didn't he?" and in the same faint voice Mr. Ellsler answered,
+slowly: "No--no! he did not lie--it's too true!"
+
+Down fell our heads and the waves of shame and sorrow seemed fairly to
+o'erwhelm us, and while our sobs filled the little room, Mr. Ellsler rose
+and laid two playbooks on the table. Then, while standing there, staring
+into space, I heard his far, faint voice, saying: "So great, so good a
+man destroyed, and by the hand of that unhappy boy! my God! my God!" He
+wiped his brow again and slowly left the house, apparently unconscious of
+our presence.
+
+When we resumed our work--the theatre had closed because of the national
+calamity--many a painted cheek showed runnels made by bitter tears, and
+one old actress, with quivering lips, exclaimed: "One woe doth tread upon
+another's heel, so fast they follow!" but with no thought of quoting, and
+God knows the words expressed the situation perfectly.
+
+Mrs. Ellsler, whom I never saw shed a tear for any sickness, sorrow, or
+trouble of her own, shed tears for the mad boy who had suddenly become
+the assassin of God's anointed--the great, the blameless Lincoln!
+
+We crept about, quietly, everyone winced at the sound of the overture; it
+was as if one dead lay within the walls, one who belonged to us.
+
+When the rumors about Booth being the murderer proved to be authentic,
+the police feared a possible outbreak of mob-feeling, and a
+demonstration against the theatre building, or against the actors
+individually; but we had been a decent, law-abiding, well-behaved people,
+liked and respected, so we were not made to suffer for the awful act of
+one of our number. Still, when the mass-meeting was held in front of the
+Capitol, there was much anxiety on the subject, and Mr. Ellsler urged all
+the company to keep away from it, lest their presence might arouse some
+ill-feeling. The crowd was immense; the sun had gloomed over, and the
+Capitol building, draped in black, loomed up with stern severity and that
+massive dignity only obtained by heavily columned buildings. The people
+surged like waves about the speakers' stand, and the policemen glanced
+anxiously toward the new theatre, not far away, and prayed that some
+bombastic, revengeful ruffian might not crop up from this mixed crowd of
+excited humanity to stir them to violence.
+
+Three speakers, however, in their addresses had confined themselves to
+eulogizing the great dead. In life, Mr. Lincoln had been abused by many;
+in death, he was worshipped by all, and these speakers found their words
+of love and sorrow eagerly listened to, and made no harsh allusions to
+the profession from which the assassin sprang. And then an unknown man
+clambered up from the crowd to the portico platform and began to speak,
+without asking anyone's permission. He had a far-reaching voice--he had
+fire and "go."
+
+"Here's the fellow to look out for!" said the policeman, and, sure
+enough, suddenly the dread word "theatre" was tossed into the air, and
+everyone was still in a moment, waiting for--what? I don't know what they
+hoped for, I do know what many feared; but this is what he said: "Yes,
+look over at our theatre and think of the little body of men and women
+there, who are to-day sore-hearted and cast down, who feel that they are
+looked at askant, because one of their number has committed that hideous
+crime! Think of what they have to bear of shame and horror, and spare
+for them, too, a little pity!"
+
+He paused; it had been a bold thing to do--to appeal for consideration
+for actors at such a time. The crowd swayed for a moment to and fro, a
+curious growling came from it, and then all heads turned toward the
+theatre. A faint cheer was given, and after that there was not the
+slightest allusion made to us--and verily we were grateful.
+
+That the homely, tender-hearted "Father Abraham," rare combination of
+courage, justice, and humanity, died at an actor's hand will be a grief,
+a horror, and a shame to the profession forever--yet I cannot believe
+that John Wilkes Booth was "the leader of a band of bloody conspirators!"
+
+Who shall draw a line and say: here genius ends and madness begins? There
+was that touch of "strangeness." In Edwin Booth it was a profound
+melancholy; in John it was an exaggeration of spirit, almost a wildness.
+There was the natural vanity of the actor, too, who craves a dramatic
+situation in real life. There was his passionate love and sympathy for
+the South--why, he was "easier to be played on than a pipe!"
+
+Undoubtedly he conspired to kidnap the President--that would appeal to
+him, but after that I truly believe he was a tool, certainly he was no
+leader. Those who led him knew his courage, his belief in fate, his
+loyalty to his friends; and because they knew these things, he drew the
+lot, as it was meant he should from the first. Then, half mad, he
+accepted the part Fate cast him for--committed the monstrous crime and
+paid the awful price.
+
+And since,
+
+      "God moves in a mysterious way
+      His wonders to perform,"
+
+we venture to pray for His mercy upon the guilty soul! who may have
+repented and confessed his manifold sins and offences during those awful
+hours of suffering before the end came.
+
+And "God shutteth not up His mercies forever in displeasure!" We can only
+shiver and turn our thoughts away from the bright light that went out in
+such utter darkness. Poor, guilty, unhappy John Wilkes Booth!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FIFTEENTH
+
+  Mr. R. E. J. Miles--His two Horses, and our Woful Experience with the
+  Substitute "Wild Horse of Tartary."
+
+
+But there, just as I start to speak of my third season, I seem to look
+into a pair of big, mild eyes that say: "Can it be that you mean to pass
+me by? Do you forget that 'twas I who turned the great sensation scene of
+a play into a side-splitting farce?" And I shake my head and answer,
+truthfully: "I cannot forget, I shall never forget your work that night
+in Columbus, when you appeared as the 'fiery, untamed steed' (may Heaven
+forgive you) in 'Mazeppa.'"
+
+Mr. Robert E. J. Miles, or "All the Alphabet Miles," as he was frequently
+called, was starring at that time in the Horse Drama, doing such plays as
+"The Cataract of the Ganges," "Mazeppa," "Sixteen-String Jack," etc.
+"Mazeppa" was the favorite in Columbus, and both the star and manager
+regretted they had billed the other plays in advance, as there would have
+been more money in "Mazeppa" alone. Mr. Miles carried with him two
+horses; the one for the "Wild Horse of Tartary" was an exquisitely
+formed, satin-coated creature, who looked wickedly at you from the tail
+of her blazing eye, who bared her teeth savagely, and struck out with her
+fore-feet, as well as lashed out with the hind ones. When she came
+rearing, plunging, biting, snapping, whirling, and kicking her way on to
+the stage, the scarlet lining of her dilating nostrils and the foam
+flying from her mouth made our screams very natural ones, and the women
+in front used to huddle close to their companions, or even cover their
+faces.
+
+One creature only did this beautiful vixen love--R. E. J. Miles. She
+fawned upon him like a dog; she did tricks like a dog for him, but she
+was a terror to the rest of mankind, and really it was a thrilling scene
+when _Mazeppa_ was stripped and bound, his head tail-ward, his feet
+mane-ward, to the back of that maddened beast. She seemed to bite and
+tear at him, and when set free she stood straight up for a dreadful
+moment, in which she really endangered his life, then, with a wild neigh,
+she tore up the "runs," as if fiends pursued her, with the man stretched
+helplessly along her inky back. The curtain used to go up again and
+again--it was so very effective.
+
+For a horse to get from the level stage clear above the "flies," under
+the very roof, the platforms or runs he mounts on have to zig-zag across
+the mountain background.
+
+At each angle, out of sight of the audience, there is a railed platform,
+large enough for the horse to turn upon and make the next upward rush.
+
+The other horse travelling with Mr. Miles was an entirely different
+proposition. He would have been described, according to the State he
+happened to be in, as a pie-bald, a skew-bald, a pinto, or a calico
+horse. He was very large, mostly of a satiny white, with big, absurdly
+shaped markings of bright bay. He was one of the breed of horses that in
+livery stables are always known as "Doctor" or "Judge." Benevolence
+beamed from his large, clear eyes, and he looked so mildly wise, one half
+expected to see him put on spectacles. The boy at the stable said one
+day, as he fed him: "I wouldn't wunder if this ol' parson of 'er a hoss
+asked a blessin' on them there oats--I wouldn't!"
+
+I don't know whether old Bob--as he was called--had any speed or not, but
+if he had it was useless to him, for, alas! he was never allowed to reach
+the goal under any circumstances. He was always ridden by the villain,
+and therefore had to be overtaken, and besides that he generally had to
+carry double, as the desperado usually fled holding the fainting heroine
+before him. Though old Bob successfully leaped chasms thus heavily
+handicapped--for truly he was a mighty jumper--nevertheless he was
+compelled to accept defeat, as Mr. Miles always came rushing up on the
+black horse to the rescue. He was very lucky indeed, if he didn't have to
+roll about and die, and he was a very impatient dead horse, often amusing
+the audience by lifting his head to see if the curtain was not down yet,
+and then dropping dead again with a sigh the whole house could hear.
+
+By the way, "the house" is a theatrical term, meaning, on an actor's
+lips, "the audience." "The house did thus or so," "the house is behaving
+beautifully," "it's the most refined house you ever saw," "what a cold
+house"; and so on. I have but rarely heard either actor or actress refer
+to the "audience"--and after steadily using any term for years it is very
+hard to lay it aside, and I shall long remember the grim moment that
+followed on my remarking to my rector, "What a good house you had
+yesterday--it must have been a pleasure to pla--to, to--er, er, to
+address such an audi--er, that is, I mean congregation!" There was a
+moment of icy silence, then, being a human being as well as a wearer of
+the priestly collar, he set back his head and laughed a laugh that was
+good to hear.
+
+Anyway, being continually pushed back into second place and compelled to
+listen to the unearned applause bestowed upon the beautiful black seemed
+to rob old Bob of all ambition professionally, and he simply became a
+_gourmet_ and a glutton. He lived to eat. A woman in his eyes was a sort
+of perambulating store-house of cake, crackers, apples, sugar, etc.; only
+his love for children was disinterested. The moment he was loose he went
+off in search for children, no matter whose, so long as he found some;
+then down he would go on his knees, and wait to be pulled and patted. His
+silvery tail provided hundreds of horse-hair rings--and his habit of
+gathering very small people up by their back breadths and carrying them a
+little way before dropping them, only filled the air with wild shrieks of
+laughter. In the theatre he walked sedately about before rehearsal began,
+and though we knew his attentions were entirely selfish, he was so
+urbane, so complaisant in his manner of going through us, that we could
+not resist his advances, and each day and night we packed our pockets and
+our muffs with such provender as women seldom carry about in their
+clothes. All our gloves smelled as though we worked at a cider-mill.
+While the play was going on old Bob spent a great part of his time
+standing on the first of those railed platforms, and as he was on the
+same side of the stage that the ladies' dressing-rooms were on, everyone
+of us had to pass him on our way to dress, and he demanded toll of all.
+Fruits, domestic or foreign, were received with gentle eagerness. Cake,
+crackers, and sugar, the velvety nose snuffed at them approvingly, and if
+a girl, believing herself late, tried to pass him swiftly by, his look of
+amazement was comical to behold, and in an instant his iron-shod foot was
+playing a veritable devil's tattoo on the resounding board platform, and
+if that failed to win attention, following her with his eyes, he lifted
+up his voice in a full-chested "neigh--hay--hay--_ha-ay_!" that brought
+her back in a hurry with her toll of sugar. And that pie-bald hypocrite
+would scrunch it with such a piteously ravenous air that the girl quite
+forgot the basilisk glare and satirical words the landlady directed
+against her recently-acquired sweet-tooth. My own landlady had, as early
+as Wednesday, covered the sugar-bowl and locked the pantry, but she left
+the salt-bag open, and I took on a full cargo of it twice a day, and old
+Bob showed such an absolute carnality of enjoyment in the eating of it
+that Mr. Miles became convinced that it had long been denied to him at
+the stables.
+
+Then, late in the week, there came that dreadful night of disaster. I
+don't recall the name of the play, but in that one piece the beautiful,
+high-spirited black mare had to carry double up the runs. John Carroll
+and Miss Lucy Cutler were the riders. Mr. Carroll claimed he could ride a
+little, and though he was afraid he was ashamed to say so. Mr. Miles said
+in the morning: "Now, if you are the least bit timid, Mr. Carroll, say
+so, and I will fasten the bridle-reins to the saddle-pommel and the Queen
+will carry you up as true as a die and as safe as a rock of her own
+accord; but if you are going to hold the bridle, for God's sake be
+careful! If it was old Bob, you could saw him as much as you liked and he
+would pay no attention, and hug the run for dear life; but the Queen, who
+has a tender mouth, is besides half mad with excitement at night, and a
+very slight pressure on the wrong rein will mean a forty or fifty-foot
+fall for you all!"
+
+Miss Cutler expressed great fear, when Mr. Miles, surprisedly, said:
+"Why, you have ridden with me twice this week without a sign of fear?"
+"Oh, yes," she answered, "but _you_ know what you are doing--you are a
+horseman."
+
+It was an unfortunate speech, and in face of it Mr. Carroll's vanity
+would not allow him to admit his anxiety. "He could ride well enough--and
+he would handle the reins himself," he declared.
+
+During the day his fears grew upon him. Foolishly and wickedly he
+resorted to spirits to try to build up some Dutch courage; and then, when
+the scene came on, half blind with fear and the liquor, which he was not
+used to, as he felt the fierce creature beneath them rushing furiously up
+the steep incline, a sort of madness came upon him. Without rhyme or
+reason he pulled desperately at the nigh rein and in the same breath
+their three bodies were hurling downward, like thunderbolts.
+
+It was an awful sight! I looked at them as they descended, and for the
+fraction of a second they seemed to be suspended in the air. They were
+all upside down. They all, without turning or twisting, fell straight as
+plummets--the horse, the same as the man and woman, had its feet straight
+in the air. Ugh! the striking--ugh!--never mind details! The curtain had
+been rushed down. Miss Cutler had been picked up, dazed, stunned, but
+without a mark. Mr. Carroll had crept away unaided amid the confusion,
+the sorrow, and tears, for the splendid Queen was doomed and done for!
+Though Mr. Miles had risked his own life in an awful leap to save her
+from falling through a trap, he could not save her life, and the almost
+human groan with which she dropped her lovely head upon her master's
+shoulder, and his streaming eyes as he tenderly wiped the blood from her
+velvety nostrils, made even the scene-shifters rub their eyes upon the
+backs of their hands. While the Queen was half carried and half crept to
+the fire-engine house next door (her stable was so far away), someone was
+going before the curtain, assuring the audience that the accident was
+very slight, and the lady and gentleman would both be before them
+presently, and the audience applauded in a rather doubtful manner, for
+several ladies had fainted, and the carrying out of a helpless person
+from a place of amusement always has a depressing effect upon the
+lookers-on. Meantime Mr. Carroll was getting his wrist bandaged and a cut
+on his face strapped up, while a basket of sawdust was hurriedly procured
+that certain cruel stains might be concealed. The orchestra played
+briskly and the play went on. That's the one thing we can be sure of in
+this world--that the play will go on. That night, late, the beautiful
+Queen died with her head resting on her master's knee.
+
+Now "Mazeppa" was billed for the next night, and there were many
+consultations held in the office and on the stage. "The wild horse of
+Tartary" was gone. It was impossible to find a new horse in one day.
+
+"Change the bill!" said Mr. Miles.
+
+"And have an empty house," answered Mr. Ellsler.
+
+"But what can I do for a horse?" asked R. E. J. M.
+
+"Use old Bob," answered Mr. Ellsler.
+
+"Good Lord!" groaned Bob's master. They argued long, but neither wanted
+to lose the good house, so the bill was allowed to stand, and "Mazeppa"
+was performed with old white Bob as the "Wild Horse of Tartary." Think of
+it, that ingratiating old Bob! That follower of women and playmate of
+children! Why, even the great bay blotches on his white old hide made one
+think of the circus, paper hoops, and _training_, rather than of
+wildness. Meaning to make him at least impatient and restless, he had
+been deprived of his supper, and the result was a settled gloom, an air
+of melancholy that made Mr. Miles swear under his breath every time he
+looked at him. There was a ring, known I believe as a Spanish ring, made
+with a sharp little spike attachment, and used sometimes by circus-men to
+stir up horses to a show of violence or of high spirits, and when a whip
+was not permissible. It could be resorted to without arousing any
+suspicion of cruelty, since the spike was on the under side and so out of
+sight. The man with the ring on his finger would stand by a horse, and
+resting his hand on the animal's neck, just at the most sensitive spot of
+his whole anatomy--the root or end of his mane--would close the hand
+suddenly, thus driving the spike into the flesh. It must have caused
+exquisite pain, and naturally the tormented animal rears and plunges.
+Sometimes they get effect enough by pricking the creatures on the
+shoulder only. On that night, Mr. Miles, after gazing at the mild and
+melancholy features of his new "Wild Horse of Tartary," went to his room
+and dug up from some trunk a Spanish ring. Calling one of the men who
+used to be dragged and thrashed about the stage by the black wild horse,
+he explained to him its use, ending with: "I hate to hurt the old fellow,
+so try him on the shoulder first, and if he dances about pretty lively,
+as I think he will, you need not prick his mane at all."
+
+The play moved along nicely, the house was large, and seemed pleased.
+_Mazeppa_ fell into his enemy's hands, the sentence was pronounced, and
+the order followed: "Bring forth the fiery, untamed steed!"
+
+The women began to draw close to their escorts; many of them remembered
+the biting, kicking entrance of the black, and were frightened
+beforehand. The orchestra responded with incidental creepy music,
+but--that was all. Over in the entrance, old Bob, surrounded by the four
+men who were supposed to restrain him, stood calmly. But those who sat in
+the left box heard "get-ups!" and "go-ons!" and the cluckings of many
+tongues. The mighty Khan of Tartary (who could not see that entrance)
+thought he had not been heard, and roared again: "Bring forth the fiery,
+untamed steed!" Another pause, the house tittered, then some one hit old
+Bob a crack across the rump with a whip, at which he gave a switch of his
+tail and gently ambled on the stage, stopping of his own accord at
+centre, and, lowering his head, he stretched his neck and sniffed at the
+leader of the orchestra, precisely as a dog sniffs at a stranger. It was
+deliciously ridiculous. We girls were supposed to scream with terror at
+the "wild horse," and, alas! we were only too obedient, crowding down at
+right, clinging together in attitudes of extremest fright, we shrieked
+and screeched until old Bob cocked up his ears and looked so astonished
+at our conduct that the audience simply rocked back and forth with
+laughter, and all the time _Mazeppa_ was saying things that did not seem
+to be like prayers. Finally he gave orders for the men to surround Bob,
+which they did, and then the ring was used--the ring that was to make him
+dance about pretty lively. It pricked him on the shoulder, and the "wild
+horse" stood and switched his tail. It pricked him again--he switched his
+tail again. The men had by that time grown careless, and when the ring
+was finally used at his mane, he suddenly kicked one of them clear off
+the stage, and then resumed his unruffled calm. The public thought it was
+having fun all this time, but pretty soon it knew it. Nothing under
+heaven could disturb the gentle serenity of that dog-like old horse. But
+when _Mazeppa_ was brought forward to be bound upon his back, instead of
+pulling away, rearing, and fighting against the burden, his one and only
+quick movement was his violent effort to break away from his tormentors
+to welcome _Mazeppa_ joyously.
+
+"Oh!" groaned Miles, "kill him, somebody, before he kills me!"
+
+While he was being bound on the wild horse's back, our instructions were
+to scream, therefore we screamed as before, and being on the verge of
+insanity, _Mazeppa_ lifted his head from the horse's back, and said: "Oh,
+shut up--do!" The audience heard, and--well, it laughed some more, and
+then it discovered, when the men sprang away and left the horse free to
+dash madly up the mountain, that _Mazeppa_ had kept one foot unbound to
+kick his horse with--and truly it did seem that the audience was going
+into convulsions. Such laughter, pierced every now and then by the shrill
+scream of hysteria. Then old Bob ambled up the first run all right, but,
+alas! for poor _Mazeppa_, as he reached the first turn-table, a woman
+passed on the way to her room, and hungry Bob instantly stopped to
+negotiate a loan in sugar. Oh, it was dreadful, the wait, and when
+finally he reappeared, trotting--yes, trotting up the next run, Mr.
+Miles's foot could be plainly seen, kicking with the regularity of a
+piston-rod, while his remarks were--well, they were irregular in the
+extreme.
+
+Of course the play was hopelessly ruined; the audience laughed at the
+slightest mention of the "wild horse," and when, broken and exhausted,
+the shepherds find them both lying at the foot of the mountain, the house
+seemed to shake with laughter.
+
+When the play was at last over, old white Bob walked over to his master
+and mumbled his hand. Mr. Miles pushed him away with pretended anger,
+crying: "You infernal old idiot, I'd sell you for a three-cent stamp with
+gum on it!"
+
+Bob looked hard at him a moment, then he calmly crossed behind him and
+mumbled his other hand, and Mr. Miles pulled his ears, and said that "he
+himself was the idiot for expecting an untrained, unrehearsed horse to
+play such a part," and old Bob agreeing with him perfectly, they were, as
+always, at peace with each other.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER SIXTEENTH
+
+  I perform a Remarkable Feat, I Study _King Charles_ in One Afternoon
+  and Play Without a Rehearsal--Mrs. D. P. Bowers makes Odd Revelation.
+
+
+Already in that third season my position had become an anomalous one,
+from that occasion when, because of sickness, I had in one afternoon
+studied, letter perfect, the part of _King Charles_ in "Faint Heart Never
+Won Fair Lady," and played it in borrowed clothes and without any
+rehearsal whatever, other than finding the situations plainly marked in
+the book. It was an astonishing thing to do, and nearly everyone had a
+kind word for me. The stage manager, or rather the prompter, for Mr.
+Ellsler was his own stage manager, patted me on the shoulder and said:
+"'Pon my soul, girl, you're a wonder! I think pretty well of my own
+study, but you can beat me. You never missed a word, and besides that
+I've seen the part played worse many a time. I don't know what to say to
+you, my dear, but a girl that can do that can do most anything."
+
+Ah, yes! and that was just what the powers that were seemed to
+think--that I could do almost anything, for from that day I became a sort
+of dramatic scape-goat, to play the parts of the sick, the halt, the
+cross, the tricky, for whenever an actor or actress turns up with a
+remarkable study--the ability to learn almost any part in a given
+time--he or she is bound to be "put upon." Sickness will increase,
+tempers will get shorter, airs of superiority will be assumed, all
+because there is someone ready to play the obnoxious part, someone ready
+to rush into the breach and prevent the changing of the "bill."
+
+So often was I playing parts, thus leaving only two in the ballet, that
+another girl was engaged. Thus to Hattie, Annie, and Clara there was
+added Mary. And lo! in this young woman I recognized a friend of my
+youth. I had known her but two days, but I could never forget the only
+child I had ever had a play with. She had parted from me in wrath
+because, after playing house-keeping all morning in the yard, I had
+refused to eat a clay dumpling she had made, with a nice green
+clover-leaf in its middle. She threw the dumpling at me, roaring like a
+little bull calf, and twisting a dirty small fist into each dry eye, she
+waddled off home, leaving me, finger in mouth, gazing in pained amazement
+after her, until my fat little legs suddenly gave way, as was their wont
+in moments of great emotion, and sat me unwillingly but flatly down upon
+the ground, where I remained, looking gravely at them and wondering what
+they did it for--and now here we were together again.
+
+Of course this playing of many parts was, in a certain way, an advantage
+to me, and I appreciated it; but there can be too much even of a good
+thing. That I got little pay for all this work was nothing to me, I was
+glad to do it for the experience it gave me, but when I was forced to
+appear ridiculous through my inability to dress the parts correctly I
+suffered cruelly. Once in a while, as in the case of _King Charles_, I
+could get a costume from the theatre wardrobe, where the yellow plush
+breeches lived when not engaged in desolating my young life, but, alas!
+here, as everywhere, the man is the favored party, and the theatre
+wardrobe contains only masculine garments; the women must provide
+everything for themselves. Then, too, one is never too young or too
+insignificant to feel an injustice.
+
+I recall, very distinctly, having to go on for _Lady Anne_ in "Richard
+III.," with a rather unimportant star. Now had I "held a position," as
+the term goes, that part would, out of courtesy, have belonged to me for
+the rest of the season, unless I chose to offer it back to the woman I
+had obliged; but being only a ballet-girl I did well enough for the _Lady
+Anne_ of an unimportant star, but when a more popular _Richard_ appeared
+upon the scene, _Lady Anne_ was immediately reclaimed, and I traipsed
+again behind the coffin, and with the rest of the ballet was witness to
+that most savage fling of Shakespeare against a vain, inconsequential
+womanhood as personified in _Lady Anne_, who, standing by her coffined,
+murdered dead, eagerly drinks in the flattery offered by the murderer's
+self. It is a courtship all dagger-pierced and reeking with innocent
+blood--monstrous and revolting! One would like to know who the woman was
+whose incredible vanity and levity so worked upon the master's mind that
+he produced this tragic caricature. Who was the woman who inspired great
+Shakespeare's one unnatural scene? Come, antiquaries, _cherchez la
+femme_!
+
+I suffered most when I had to play some lady of quality, for what, in
+heaven's name, had I to dress a lady in? Five dollars a week to live on,
+to dress myself on, and to provide stage wardrobe! Many a bitter tear I
+shed. And then there was the surprise of the stars, when after playing an
+important part one night, they suddenly recognized me the next standing
+in the crowd of peasants or seated at _Macbeth's_ disheartening banquet.
+
+Their comments used to be very caustic sometimes, and they almost,
+without exception, advised me to rebel, to go and demand freedom from the
+ballet, or at least salary enough to dress the parts given me to play.
+But those long years of childish thraldom had left their mark--I could
+not assert myself, an overwhelming shame came upon me, even at the
+thought of asking to be advanced. So I went on playing boys and second
+old women, singing songs when forced to it, going on for poor leading
+parts even, for the leading lady being the manager's wife rarely played
+parts with women stars, and then between times dropping back into the
+ballet and standing about in crowds or taking part in a village dance.
+
+It was a queer position and no mistake. Many stars had grown to know me,
+and often on Monday morning he or she would come over to our group and
+shake hands kindly, to my great pleasure. One morning, while we were
+rehearsing "Lady Audley's Secret," Mrs. Bowers, whom I greatly admired,
+came over to me, and remarked: "You hard-hearted little wretch! I've been
+watching you; you are treating that boy shamefully! Don't you know
+Murdoch is a gentleman?"
+
+I was surprised, and rather quickly answered: "Well, have I treated him
+as if he were not a gentleman?"
+
+She was called just then, but when the act was over she came to me again,
+and taking my hand in her right, she began beating it up and down upon
+her left: "You are not vexed, are you?" she asked. "Don't be; I only
+wonder how you can do it, and you are so young! Why," she sighed, from
+her very soul it seemed to me, "Why," she went on, "ever since I was
+fourteen years old I have been loving some man who has not loved me!"
+Tears rose thickly into her eyes. "I am always laying my heart down for
+some man to trample on!" She glanced toward Mr. McCollom (he who was six
+feet tall and handsome), a little smile trembled on her lips. I caught
+her fingers on a swift impulse and squeezed them, she squeezed back
+answeringly; we understood each other, she was casting her heart down
+again, unasked. Her eyes came back to me. "Yours is the best way, but I'm
+too old to learn now, I shall have to go on seeking--always seeking!"
+
+"And finding, surely finding!" I answered, honestly, for I could not
+imagine anyone resisting her.
+
+"Do you think so?" she said, eagerly; then, rather sadly, she added:
+"Still it would be nice to be sought once, instead of always seeking."
+
+Poor woman! Charming actress as she was, she did not exaggerate in
+declaring she was always casting her heart before someone. She married
+Mr. McCollom, and lived with him in adoring affection till death took
+him.
+
+The last time I saw her she was my guest here at "The Pines," and as I
+fastened a great hibiscus flower above her ear, in Spanish fashion, she
+remarked:
+
+"How little you have changed in all these years! I'll wager your heart is
+without a scar, while if you could only see mine," she laughed, "it's
+like an old bit of tinware--so battered, and bent, and dented!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER SEVENTEENTH
+
+  Through Devotion to my Friend, I Jeopardize my Reputation--I Own a Baby
+  on Shares--Miss Western's Pathetic Speech.
+
+
+I had at that time a friend--a rare possession that. "The ideal of
+friendship," says Madame Switchine, "is to feel as one while remaining
+two," which is a precise description of the condition of mind and feeling
+of Mrs. Mollie Ogden and myself. She did not act, but her husband did,
+and I saw her every night, nearly every morning, and when work permitted
+we visited one another in the afternoons. There was but one kind of cake
+on the market that I liked, and that cake, with coffee, was always
+offered for my refreshment when I was her guest. When she was mine the
+festal board was furnished forth with green tea, of which she was
+inordinately fond, and oysters stewed in their own can and served in two
+mugs; the one announcing, in ostentatious gold letters, that I was "a
+good girl," was naturally at the service of my guest, while the plain
+stone-china affair, from the toilet-table, answered my purposes. With
+what happy eagerness we prepared for those absurd banquets, which we
+heartily enjoyed, since we were boarders, and always hungry--and how we
+talked! Of what? Why, good heaven! did I not hold a membership in the
+library, and were we not both lightning-quick readers? Why, we had the
+whole library to talk over; besides, there was the country to save! and
+as Mollie didn't really know one party from the other, she felt herself
+particularly fitted for the task of settling public questions.
+
+Then, suddenly, she began to expect another visitor--a _wee_ visitor,
+whom we hoped would remain permanently, and, goodness mercy! I nearly
+lost my reputation through the chambermaid finding in my work-basket some
+half-embroidered, tiny, tiny jackets. Whereupon she announced to the
+servants, in full assembly, that I had too soft a tongue, and was deeper
+than the sea, but _she_ had her eyes open, and, judging from what she
+found in my work-basket, I was either going to buy a monkey for a pet, or
+I had thrown away my character completely.
+
+Mrs. Ogden was with me when the landlady, stony-eyed and rattling with
+starch and rectitude, came to inquire into the contents of my
+work-basket. Her call was brief, but satisfactory, and shortly after her
+exit we heard her, at the top of her lungs, giving me a clean bill of
+health--morally speaking--and denouncing the prying curiosity of the
+maids. But we had had a scare, and Mollie implored me either not to help
+her any more or to lock up my work-basket.
+
+"Oh, no," I said, "I'll rest my head upon the chambermaid's breast and
+confide all my intentions to her, then surely my character will be safe."
+
+However, when the _wee_ stranger arrived, she might well have wondered
+whom she belonged to. At all events she "goo-gooed and gurgled," and
+smiled her funny three-cornered smile at me as readily as at her mother,
+and my friendly rights in her were so far recognized by others that
+questions about her were often put to me in her mother's very presence,
+who laughingly declared that only in bed with the light out did she feel
+absolutely sure that the baby was hers.
+
+Mollie used to say the only really foolish thing she ever caught me in
+was "Protestantism." It was a great grief to us all that I could not be
+godmother, but though baby had a Protestant father, the Church flatly
+refused to wink at a godmother of that forsaken race.
+
+When, in God's good time, a tiny sister came to baby, she was called
+Clara, but my friend had made a solemn vow before the altar, at the ripe
+age of seven years, to name her first child Genevieve, and she, to quote
+her husband, "being a Roman Catholic as well as a little idiot,"
+faithfully kept her vow, and our partnership's baby was loaded up with a
+name that each year proved more unsuitable, for a more un-Genevieve-like
+Genevieve never lived. All of which goes to prove how unwise it is to
+assume family cares and duties before the arrival of the family.
+
+Miss Lucille Western was playing an engagement in Cleveland when "our
+baby" was a few months old. My friend and I were both her ardent
+admirers. I don't know why it has arisen, this fashion to sneer more or
+less openly at Miss Western's work. If a woman who charms the eye can
+also thrill you, repel you, touch you to tears, provoke you to laughter
+by her acting, she surely merits the term "great actress." Well, now, who
+can deny that she did all these things? Why else did the people pack her
+houses season after season? It was not her looks, for if the perfect and
+unblemished beauty of her lovely sister Helen could not draw a big house,
+what could you expect from the inspired irregularity of Lucille's face?
+How alive she was! She was not quite tall enough for the amount of fine
+firm flesh her frame then carried--but she laced, and she was grace
+personified.
+
+She was a born actress; she knew nothing else in all the world. There is
+a certain tang of wildness in all things natural. Dear gods! Think what
+the wild strawberry loses in cultivation! Half the fascination of the
+adorable Jacqueminot rose comes from the wild scent of thorn and earth
+plainly underlying the rose _attar_ above. And this actress, with all her
+lack of polish, knew how to interpret a woman's heart, even if she missed
+her best manner. For in all she did there was just a touch of
+extravagance--a hint of lawless, unrestrained passion. There was
+something tropical about her, she always suggested the scarlet tanager,
+the jeweled dragon-fly, the pomegranate flower, or the scentless splendor
+of our wild marshmallow.
+
+In "Lucretia Borgia" she presented the most perfect picture of opulent,
+insolent beauty that I ever saw, while her "Leah, the Forsaken" was
+absolutely Hebraic; and in the first scene, where she was pursued and
+brought to bay by the Christian mob, her attitude, as she silently eyed
+her foes, her face filled both with wild terror and fierce contempt, was
+a thing to thrill any audience, and always received hearty applause.
+
+So far as looks went, she was seen to least advantage in her greatest
+money-maker, "East Lynne." Oh, dear! oh, dear! the tears that were shed
+over that dreadful play, and how many I contributed myself! I would stand
+looking on from the entrance, after my short part was over, and when she
+cried out: "Oh, why don't I die! My God! why _don't_ I die?" I would lay
+my head against the nearest scene and simply howl like a broken-hearted
+young puppy. I couldn't help it, neither could those in front help
+weeping--more decorously perhaps, because they were older and had their
+good clothes on.
+
+Now this brilliant and successful actress was not very happy--few are,
+for one reason or another--but she worked much harder than most women,
+and naturally liked to have some return for her work; therefore she must
+have found it depressing, at least, when her husband formed the habit of
+counting up the house by eye (he could come to within $5 of the money
+contents of the house any night in this way), and then going out and
+losing the full amount of her share in gambling. It was cruel, and it was
+but one of the degradations put upon her. Lucille did not know how to
+bear her troubles. She wept and used herself up. Then, to get through her
+heavy night's work, she took a stimulant. Oh, poor soul! poor soul!
+though the audience knew nothing, the people about her knew she was not
+her best self; and she knew they knew it, and was made sore ashamed and
+miserable. Her husband, on one occasion, had gambled away every cent of
+three nights' work. On the fourth she had had resource to a stimulant,
+and on the fifth she was cast down, silent, miserable, and humiliated.
+
+That night "our baby" came to the theatre. She was one of those
+aggressively sociable infants, who will reach out and grasp a strange
+whisker rather than remain unnoticed. She had pretty little, straight
+features and small, bright eyes that were fairly purply blue. I had
+her--of course in so public a place it was my right to have her--she was
+over my shoulder. I was standing near the star-room. The door opened and
+next moment I heard a long, low, "O-o-h!" and then again, "O-o-h!
+a--baby, and awake! and the peace of heaven yet in its eyes!"
+
+I turned my head to look at Miss Western, and her face quickened my
+heart. Her glowing eyes were fastened upon "baby," with just the rapt,
+uplifted look one sees at times before some Roman Catholic altar. It was
+beautiful! She gave a little start and exclaimed, as at a wonder: "Its
+hand! oh, its tiny, tiny hand!" Just with the very tip of her forefinger
+she touched it, and "baby" promptly grasped the finger and gurgled
+cordially. Her face flushed red, she gave a gasp: "Good God!" she cried,
+"it's touching me, me! It _is_, see--_see_!" Sudden tears slipped down
+her cheeks. "Blessed God!" she cried, "if you had but sent me such a one,
+all would have been different! I could never bring disgrace or shame on a
+precious thing like this!"
+
+As she raised the tiny morsel of a hand to her lips the prompter sharply
+called: "The stage waits, Miss Western!" and she was gone.
+
+Poor, ill-guided, unhappy woman! it was always and only the stage that
+waited Miss Western.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER EIGHTEENTH
+
+  Mr. Charles W. Couldock--His Daughter Eliza and his Many Peculiarities.
+
+
+There was one star who came to us every season with the regularity and
+certainty of the equinoctial storm, and when they arrived together, as
+they frequently did, we all felt the conjunction to be peculiarly
+appropriate. He was neither young nor good-looking, yet no one could
+truthfully assert that his engagements were lacking in interest--indeed,
+some actors found him lively in the extreme. Charles W. Couldock was an
+Englishman by birth, and had come to this country with the great Cushman.
+He was a man of unquestionable integrity--honorable, truthful,
+warm-hearted; but being of a naturally quick and irritable temper,
+instead of trying to control it, he yielded himself up to every impulse
+of vexation or annoyance, while with ever-growing violence he made
+mountains out of mole-hills, and when he had just cause for anger he
+burst into paroxysms of rage, even of ferocity, that, had they not been
+half unconscious acting, must have landed him in a mad-house out of
+consideration for the safety of others; while, worst of all, like too
+many of his great nation, he was profane almost beyond belief; and
+profanity, always painfully repellent and shocking, is doubly so when it
+comes from the lips of one whose silvering hair shows his days have
+already been long in the land of the God whom he is defying. And yet when
+Mr. Couldock ceased to use plain, every-day oaths, and brought forth some
+home-made ones, they were oaths of such intricate construction, such
+grotesque termination, that they wrung a startled laugh from the most
+unwilling lip.
+
+In personal appearance he was the beau-ideal wealthy farmer. He was
+squarely, solidly built, of medium height--never fat. His square,
+deeply-lined, even-furrowed face was clean shaven. His head, a little
+bald on top, had a thin covering of curly gray hair, which he wore a
+trifle long; while his suit of black cloth--always a size or two too
+large for him--and his never-changing big hat of black felt were excuse
+enough for any man's asking him about the state of the crops--which they
+often did, and were generally urgently invited to go to the hottest Hades
+for their pains.
+
+On his brow there was a deep and permanent scowl that seemed cut there to
+the very bone. Two deep, heavy lines ran from the sides of his nose to
+the corners of his lips, where they suddenly became deeper before
+continuing down toward his chin, while a strong cast in one of his
+steely-blue eyes gave a touch of malevolence to the severity of his face.
+
+The strong point of his acting was in the expression of intense
+emotion--particularly grief or frenzied rage. He was utterly lacking in
+dignity, courtliness, or subtlety. He was best as a rustic, and he was
+the only creature I ever saw who could "snuffle" without being absurd or
+offensive.
+
+Generally, if anything went wrong, Mr. Couldock's rage broke forth on the
+instant, but he had been known to keep a rod in pickle for a day or more,
+as in the case of a friend of mine--at least it was the husband of my
+friend Mollie. He had played _Salanio_ in "The Merchant of Venice," and
+in some way had offended the star, who cursed him _sotto voce_ at the
+moment of the offence, and then seemed to forget all about the matter.
+Next morning, at rehearsal, nothing was said till its close, when Mr.
+Couldock quite quietly asked my friend to look in at his dressing-room
+that evening before the play began.
+
+Poor John was uneasy all the afternoon, still he drew some comfort from
+the calmness of Mr. Couldock's manner. Evening came, John was before the
+bar. The star seemed particularly gentle--he removed his coat leisurely
+and said:
+
+"You played _Salanio_ last night?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"And your name is--er?"
+
+"Ogden, sir," replied John.
+
+"Ah, yes, Ogden. Well, how long have you been at it, Ogden?"
+
+"About three years," answered the now confident and composed prisoner at
+the bar.
+
+"Three years? huh! Well, will you let me give you a bit of advice,
+Ogden?"
+
+"Why, yes, sir, I shall be glad to listen to any advice from you,"
+earnestly protested the infatuated one.
+
+"Well," snapped the star, rather sharply, "I want you to _follow it_ as
+well as to listen to it. Now you take some money--you _have_ some money
+saved, I suppose?"
+
+"Oh, yes, sir!" answered John.
+
+"Well, then," he turned his queer eye on him, he took a long, full
+breath, "well, then, you just get some of that money, and you go to a
+hardware store," his rage was rising visibly, "and you buy a good sharp
+hatchet, and then I want you to take it home and chop your d----d fool
+head off!" and ripping off his vest he made a furious charge upon the
+almost paralyzed Ogden, clouting him from the room, while roaring like a
+bull.
+
+He had played one set of plays so long he had lost the power to study
+quickly, and he was so ill-advised once as to attempt a new part, on
+rather short notice. The play was a miserable jumble of impossible
+situations and strained, high-flown language; and, of all absurd things,
+Mr. Couldock attempted to play a young Irish hero, with a love-scene--in
+fact he was supposed to represent the young Emmet. Dear heaven! what a
+sight he was, in those buckskin riding breeches (his legs were not beyond
+suspicion as to their straightness), that cutaway green coat, and the
+dinky little conical hat, looking so maliciously "larky," perched over
+his fiercest eye. He forgot all his lines, but he never forgot his
+profanity, and that night it took on a wild originality that was simply
+convulsing. In one scene he had to promise to save his beloved Ireland.
+He quite forgot the speech, and being reminded of it by the prompter, he
+roared at the top of his voice: "I don't care! what the devil's Ireland
+to me! d----n Ireland! I wish it and the man that wrote this play were
+both at the bottom of the sea, with cock-eyed sharks eatin' 'em!" Then he
+suddenly pulled out his part and began to search wildly for his next
+scene, that he might try to recall his lines; at this he continued till
+he was called to go upon the stage, then he made a rush, and in a moment
+the house was laughing.
+
+"Oh, dear! what was it?" Everyone ran to peep on the stage. Mr. Couldock
+had discovered they were laughing at him, and was becoming recklessly
+furious. Mr. Ellsler, fearing he would insult the people, hastily rang
+down the curtain. Then Mr. Couldock, as _Emmet_, faced round to us, and
+the laughter was explained. When he was reading over his part he had put
+on a big pair of spectacles, and when he hurried on he simply pushed them
+up and left them there. A young lover with big, old-fashioned spectacles
+on his forehead and a perky little conical hat looking down on them was
+certainly an unusual sight and an amusing one.
+
+One of Mr. Couldock's most marked characteristics was the amazingly high
+pitch of his voice in speaking. Anyone who has heard two men trying to
+converse across a large open field has had a good illustration of his
+style of intonation, which anger raised to a perfect shriek. The most
+shocking exhibition of rage I ever saw came from him during a performance
+of "Louis XI." Annie and I, as pages, were standing each side of the
+throne, holding large red cushions against our stomachs. My cushion
+supported a big gilded key, until, in my fright, I actually shook it off,
+for when Mr. Couldock's passion came upon him on the stage his violence
+created sad havoc in the memories of the actors. The audience, too,
+could hear many of his jibes and oaths, and Mr. Ellsler was very angry
+about it, for in spite of his affection for the man, he drew the line at
+the insulting of the audience; therefore, when the curtain fell, Mr.
+Ellsler said: "Charley, this won't do! you _must_ control yourself in the
+presence of the public!"
+
+The interference seemed to drive him mad. A volley of oaths,
+inconceivably blasphemous, came from his lips, and then, with a bound, he
+seized the manuscript (it was not a published play then, and the
+manuscript was valuable) and tore it right down the centre. Mr. Ellsler
+and the prompter caught his right hand, trying to save the play, but
+while they held that he lifted the rest of the manuscript and tore it to
+pieces with his teeth, growling and snarling like a savage animal. Then
+he broke away and rushed frantically up-stairs to Mr. Ellsler's
+dressing-room, where he locked himself in. When it was time to call the
+next act he gave no answer to their knocking, though he could be heard
+swearing and raving within. Mr. Ellsler finally burst open the door, and
+there stood _Louis XI._ in his under-garments, and his clothing--where?
+It was a tiny room, nevertheless no velvet costume could be found. The
+window, a long French one, was nailed up for winter--the clothes had not
+been thrown out. There was no stove yet, they had not been burned; where
+then were they? Another overture was played. Some of Mr. Ellsler's
+clothes were hastily brought--a nondescript covering for his royal
+nakedness was found, and he went on to finish the performance somehow,
+while the prompter guessed at the ringing down of the curtain, for there
+was no manuscript to guide him.
+
+Truly it had been a most humiliating spectacle. Many weeks later, when
+stoves were going up, the men discovered that someone had torn away the
+tin protector from the stove-pipe hole in Mr. Ellsler's room, and when
+they were replacing it they found, crammed tightly into a narrow space
+between the lath and plastering of the two rooms, the velvet garments of
+_Louis XI._, even to the cap with the leaden images. How he had
+discovered the place no one knows, and when his rage had passed he could
+not remember what he had done, but he could play _Louis_ no more that
+season.
+
+We were always pleased when Mr. Couldock was accompanied by his daughter.
+Eliza Couldock, bearing an absurdly marked resemblance to her father, of
+course could not be pretty. The thin, curly hair, the fixed frown, the
+deep lines of nose and mouth, the square, flat figure, all made of her a
+slightly softened _replica_ of the old gentleman. Her teeth were pretty,
+though, and her hazel eyes were very brilliant. She was well read,
+clever, and witty, and her affectionate devotion to her father knew no
+bounds; yet as she had a keen sense of the ridiculous, no eccentricity,
+no _grotesquerie_ of his escaped her laughing, hawk-keen eye, and
+sometimes when talking to old friends, like Mr. and Mrs. Ellsler, she
+would tell tales of "poor pa" that were exceedingly funny.
+
+They went to California--a great undertaking then, as the Pacific
+Railroad was not completed, and they were most unsuccessful during their
+entire stay here. Eliza told one day of how a certain school-principal in
+'Frisco had met her father after a performance to a miserable house, and
+with frightful bad taste had asked Mr. Couldock how he accounted for the
+failure of his engagement, and that gentleman snarled out: "I don't try
+to account for it at all! I leave that work for the people who ask fool
+questions. If I only have one d----n cent in my pocket I don't try to
+account for not having another d----n cent to rub against it!" And Eliza
+added, in pained tones: "that principal had meant to ask 'poor pa' to
+come and speak to the dear little boys in his school, but after that he
+didn't--wasn't it odd?"
+
+As Mr. Couldock was heard approaching that morning, his daughter quickly
+whispered to Mrs. Ellsler: "Ask pa how he liked California?"
+
+And after "good-mornings" were exchanged, the question was put, and
+incidentally the red rag brought the mad bull into action.
+
+"I wouldn't give a d----n for the whole d----d State!" roared Mr.
+Couldock, while his daughter pushed his hair behind his ears, and mildly
+said: "Pa's always so emphatic about California."
+
+"Yes!" shouted the old man, "and so would you be if you wore breeches
+and dared to speak the truth! You see," he went on, "no one ever gave me
+even a hint, and it was just my cursed luck to go overland, risking my
+own d----n skin and Eliza's too, and it seems that those God-forsaken
+duffers look upon anyone coming to them by the overland route as a sort
+of outcast tramp. In fact, that's entering by the back-kitchen door to
+San Francisco. You ought to go by sea, and come in at the front door of
+their blasted, stuck-up little city if you're to put any of their money
+in your purse or be allowed to keep any of your own."
+
+One morning we girls were boasting among ourselves of our abilities as
+packers. Hattie, my room-mate, thought she could pack a trunk the
+quickest, while I claimed I could pack one with the least injury to the
+contents. Miss Couldock, hearing us, exclaimed, laughingly: "Oh, girls,
+poor pa could give you all points at that work, while his manner of
+_un_packing is so original, so swift, and so thorough, I think I should
+explain it to you. First, I must tell you, that that slight bow to pa's
+legs is an annoyance to him on every occasion of life, save that of
+unpacking his trunks, then it is of great convenience. You see, the
+trunks are brought up and dumped in the room. They don't have any locks,
+because 'poor pa,' always losing the keys, has to kick the locks off
+during the first week that he owns them. Next they are unstrapped and
+opened, then pa yanks off the top spread from the bed and lays it open on
+the middle of the floor; then he takes his place before the first trunk,
+straddles his feet well apart (see, now, how useful that bow becomes),
+and fires every single garment the trunk contains between his legs and
+on to the quilt. Having emptied the trunks with lightning swiftness, he
+claps down their covers for the rest of the week. Whenever he wants
+anything for the theatre, he straddles the pile on the quilt, and paws it
+wildly, but rapidly over, pulling out a shoulder-cape here, a doublet
+yonder, one boot from the top and its mate from the bottom--all these he
+pitches into the theatre-basket, and is happy for _that_ day. When the
+week is over, pa dumps into the nearest trunk all it will hold, and
+what's left over is pitched _en masse_ into the next one. If there is any
+difficulty in closing the trunks he don't waste time in trying to
+re-arrange the things. There is such beautiful simplicity in all pa's
+actions, he just gets up and walks--well, perhaps stamps a little on the
+contents, until the lid closes quite nicely, for he is a very quick
+packer, is pa, though it's just possible that his method in some degree
+may explain his generally rumpled appearance on the stage. What should
+_you_ think about it, girls?"
+
+The old gentleman was always very kind to me and had the oddest pet name
+for me I ever heard. He used to hail me with: "Where's my crummie girl?
+Well, Crummy, how are you?"
+
+In answer to my amazed look, he explained one day that it was a Yorkshire
+term, and meant "plump or round faced." The only time he ever cursed me
+was when he gave me the cue in the wrong place, as he openly admitted,
+and I went on too soon in consequence. Aside, he swore so the air seemed
+blue--my legs shook under me. I did not know whether to speak or not. He
+rose, and putting his arm about me, he led me off the stage (I was
+playing his daughter), and as we crossed the stage, this is what he
+said--the words in parentheses being asides to me, the other words being
+aloud for the audience:
+
+"(What in h--ll!) My little one! (you double d----n fool!) My bird, what
+brings you here? (Yes, what the blankety, blankety, blanknation does
+bring you here, crummie girl?) Get back to your nest, dearie! (and stay
+there, d----n you!)" as he gently pushed me off the stage. Next day when
+the prompter showed him his error he admitted it at once.
+
+He knew much sorrow and trouble, and before that last long streak of good
+fortune came to him, in New York, in "Hazel Kirke," he knew a time of
+bitter poverty. Eliza had died--a sweet and noble woman--and the loss was
+terrible to him. I was just winning success in the East when I was
+dumfounded one day at seeing Mr. Couldock standing, bowed and broken,
+before me, asking me for help.
+
+A star--dear God! could such things happen to a star? I was so hurt for
+him, for his broken pride. When I could speak, I simply told him my
+salary, and that two (my mother and myself) were trying to live on it.
+"Oh!" he cried, "crummie girl, why don't you demand your rights; your
+name is on everyone's lips, yet you are hungry! Shall I speak for you?"
+
+Poor old gentleman, I could not let him go empty away. I took one-half of
+my rent-money and handed it to him. I dared not ask my landlady to favor
+me further than that. His face lighted up radiantly--it might have been
+hundreds from his look. "Dearie!" he said, "I'll pay this back to the
+penny. You can ill spare it, I see that, crummie girl, but, oh, my lass,
+it's worse to see another hungry than it is to hunger yourself. I'll pay
+it back!" His eyes filled, he paused long, then he said, pathetically:
+"Some time, crummie girl, some time!"
+
+My landlady granted me grace. Months passed away--many of them--waves
+went over me sometimes, but they receded before my breath was quite gone.
+Things were bettering a little, and then one day, when I came home from
+work, a man had called in my absence--an old man, who had left this
+little packet, and, oh! he had been so anxious for its safety!
+
+I opened it to find $25, all in bills of ones and twos. Such a pathetic
+story those small bills told--they were for the crummie girl, "With the
+thanks of the obliged, Charles W. Couldock."
+
+He had kept his word; he was the only man in this profession who ever
+repaid me one dollar of borrowed money. Mr. Couldock was like some
+late-ripening fruit that requires a touch of frost for its sweetening. In
+his old age he mellowed, he became chaste of speech, his acting of
+strong, lovable old men was admirable. He was honored by his profession
+in life and honestly mourned in death--he would not have asked more.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER NINETEENTH
+
+  I Come to a Turning-Point in my Dramatic Life--I play my First Crying
+  Part with Miss Sallie St. Clair.
+
+
+We were in Columbus; things were moving along smoothly and quietly, when
+suddenly that incident occurred which had the power to change completely
+my dramatic prospects, while at the same time it convinced the people
+about me, in theatrical parlance, my head was "well screwed on," meaning
+it was not to be turned by praise.
+
+Miss Sallie St. Clair was the star of the week, and she was billed to
+appear on Friday and Saturday nights in an adaptation of "La Maison
+Rouge." I am not certain as to the title she gave it, but I think it was
+"The Lone House on the Bridge." She was to play the dual characters--a
+count and a gypsy boy. The leading female part Mrs. Ellsler declined,
+because she would not play second to a woman. The young lady who had been
+engaged for the juvenile business (which comes between leading parts and
+walking ladies) had a very poor study, and tearfully declared she simply
+_could_ not study the part in time--"No--no! she co--co--could not, so
+now!"
+
+There, then, was Blanche's chance. The part was sentimental, tearful, and
+declamatory at the last, a good part--indeed, what is vulgarly known
+to-day as a "fat" part, "fat" meaning lines sure to provoke applause.
+
+Mrs. Bradshaw, who was herself ever ready to oblige her manager, could
+not serve him in this instance, as the part was that of a very young
+heroine, but she gladly offered her daughter's services in the emergency.
+So sending for her to come to the theatre, the mother awaited her
+arrival. She was very ambitious for Blanche, who had absolutely no
+ambition for herself, outside of music, and here was the double
+opportunity of playing a leading part, next to the star, and of obliging
+the manager just at the time when contracts for the next season were in
+order of consideration. No girl could help grasping at it eagerly, and
+while Blanche studied the part, she, the mother, would baste up some
+breadths of satin she had by her into a court dress. As she thus happily
+planned it all Blanche sauntered in to inform her mother and her manager
+that she would not do the part. _Would_ not, mind you; she did not
+condescend to claim she _could_ not. Poor Mrs. Bradshaw drew her heavy
+veil over her face with a shaking hand and moved silently away, only
+waiting to reach the friendly privacy of her own room before yielding to
+the tears caused by this cruel indifference to her wishes and to their
+mutual welfare.
+
+Mr. Ellsler then tried, in vain, to induce Blanche to undertake the part.
+He tried to bribe her, promising certain gifts. He tried to arouse her
+pride--he absolutely commanded her to take the part.
+
+"Oh, very well, if you like," she answered, "but I'll spoil the play if I
+do, you know!" And indeed he did "know" what she was capable of in the
+line of mischief; and, knowing, gave her up in angry despair. There was
+then but one chance left for the production of the play, to give the part
+to one of the ballet-girls.
+
+And Mr. Ellsler, who felt a strong friendship for the brave,
+hard-working, much-enduring Miss St. Clair and her devoted if eccentric
+husband, said, gently: "I'm sorry, Sallie, but it's no fault of mine; you
+know I can't give memories to these two women, who say they can't study
+the part. The girl I want to offer it to now will speak the words
+perfectly to the last letter, and that's all we can expect of her, but
+that's better than changing the bill."
+
+Then I was called. I adored Miss St. Clair, as everyone else did. I
+heard, I saw the long part, but instead of the instant smiling assent Mr.
+Ellsler expected, I shook my head silently. Miss St. Clair groaned, Mr.
+Barras snuffled loudly, and stammered: "W--what did you expect, if the
+others can't study it, how can she?"
+
+"Oh," I answered, "I can study the lines, Mr. Barras, but," big tears
+came into my eyes, I was so sorry to disappoint the lovely blond star,
+"it's--it's a crying part--a great lady and a crying part! I--I--oh, if
+you please, I can't cry. I can laugh and dance and sing and scold, but I
+don't know how to cry; and look here," I caught up the part and fluttered
+over the leaves and pointed to the oft-repeated word "weeps--weeps,"
+"and, Miss St. Clair," I excitedly finished, "I can't weep, and I won't
+have a stitch of clothes for her back either!"
+
+All three hearers burst out laughing. Miss St. Clair was in radiant
+good-humor in an instant. She dried my eyes, and said: "Child, if you
+really can study that long part, and just walk through it after only one
+rehearsal, you will be a very clever little girl. You need not try to
+act, just give me the lines and hold a handkerchief to your eyes when
+tears are called for. You shall have one of my prettiest dresses for the
+court scene, and I guess you have a white muslin of your own for the
+garden scene, have not you?"
+
+I had, yes, and so I went home, heavy-hearted, to undertake the study of
+my first crying part.
+
+Good heavens! In spite of this memory, I catch myself wondering was there
+ever a _first one_--did I ever do anything else. For it seems to me I
+have cried steadily through all the years of my dramatic life. Tears
+gentle, regretful; tears petulant, fretful; tears stormy, passionate;
+tears slow, despairing; with a light patter, now and then, of my own
+particular brand, kept for the expression of my own personal
+troubles--very bitter, briny tears they are, and I find that a very few
+answer my purpose nicely.
+
+Miss St. Clair, who was tall as well as fair, had measured the length of
+my skirt in front, so that she might have one of her dresses shortened
+for me during the afternoon, thus leaving me all the time possible for
+study. After I had learned the words by heart, I began to study out the
+character. It was an excellent acting part, very sweet and tenderly
+pathetic in the first act, very passionate and fierce in the second, and
+the better I understood the requirements of the part, the greater became
+my terror of it. My room-mate tried to comfort me. "Think," she cried,
+"of wearing one of Miss St. Clair's own dresses! I'll wager it will be an
+awful nice one, too, since you are obliging her, and she is always kind,
+anyway."
+
+But that leaden weight at my heart was too great for gratified vanity to
+lift. "Bother the tears," she added; "I heard Mr. Barras say the tears of
+all actresses were in their handkerchiefs."
+
+"Oh, yes, I heard him, too," I answered, "but he was just talking for
+effect. There must be something else, something more. You can't move
+anyone's heart by showing a handkerchief."
+
+"Well," she exclaimed, a bit impatiently, "what do you _want_ to do? You
+don't expect to shed real tears, do you?"
+
+"N-n-no!" I hesitated, "not exactly that, but there's a tone--a--Hattie,
+last Wednesday, when you quarrelled with young Fleming--I was not
+present, you know--but that night, a half-hour after our light was out,
+you spoke to me in the darkness, and I instantly asked you why you were
+crying and if you had been quarrelling, though you had not even reached
+the sobbing stage yet. Now how did I know you were crying?"
+
+"I don't know--anyway I had no handkerchief," she laughed; "you heard it
+maybe in my voice."
+
+"Yes," I answered, eagerly, "that was it. That curious veiling of the
+voice. Oh, Hattie, if I could only get that tone, but I can't, I've tried
+and tried!"
+
+"Why," she exclaimed, "you've got it now--this very moment!"
+
+"Yes," I broke in impatiently, and turning to her a pair of reproachful,
+tear-filled eyes, "yes, but why? because I'm really crying, with the
+worry and the disappointment, and, oh, Hattie, the fright!"
+
+And the landlady, a person who always lost one shoe when coming
+up-stairs, announced dinner, and I shuddered and turned my face away.
+Hattie went down, however, and bringing all her blandishments to bear
+upon the head of the establishment, secured for me a cup of coffee--that
+being my staff in all times of trouble or of need, and then we were off
+to the theatre, Hattie kindly keeping at my side for companionship or
+help, as need might be.
+
+I did not appear in the first act, so I had plenty of time to receive my
+borrowed finery--to try it on, and then to dress in my own white muslin,
+ready for my first attempt at a crying part. It was a moonlit scene. Miss
+St. Clair, tall, slender, elegant, looked the young French gallant to the
+life in her black velvet court dress. I had to enter down some steps from
+a great stone doorway. I stood, ready to go on. I wore a mantilla with my
+muslin. I held a closed fan in my hand. My heart seemed to suffocate
+me--I thought, stupidly, "Why don't I pray?" but I could not think of a
+single word. I heard the faint music that preceded my entrance--a mad
+panic seized me. I turned and dashed toward the street-door. Mr. Ellsler,
+who had just made his exit, caught me by the skirts. "Are you mad, girl?"
+he cried; "go back--quick--quick! I tell you--there's your cue!"
+
+Next moment, tremulous but smiling, I was descending the steps to meet
+the counterfeit lover awaiting me. My head was on his breast and my arm
+stealing slowly about his neck before I knew that the closed fan in my
+hand was crushed into fragments and marks of blood showing between my
+clinched fingers. My first lines were simply recited, without meaning,
+then the tender words and courtly manners aroused my imagination. The
+glamour of the stage was upon me. The frightened actress ceased to
+exist--I was the Spanish girl whose long-mourned lover had returned to
+her; and there was something lacking in the greeting, some tone of the
+voice, some glance of the eye seemed strange, alien. There was more of
+ardor, less of tenderness than before. My lips trembled; suddenly I heard
+the veiled, pathetic tone I had all day striven for in vain, and
+curiously enough it never struck me that it was my voice--no! it was the
+Spanish girl who spoke. My heart leaped up in my throat with a great
+pity, tears rushed to my eyes, fell upon my cheeks. There was
+applause--of course, was not Miss St. Clair there? Suspicion arose in my
+mind--grew. I bethought me of the saving of my life on that stolen day
+passed in the forest long ago. I took my lover's hand and with pretty
+wiles drew him into the moonlight. Then swiftly stripping up the lace
+ruffles, showed his arm smooth and unblemished by any scar, and with the
+cry: "You are not Pascal de la Garde!" stood horror-stricken.
+
+The moment the curtain fell Miss St. Clair sprang to me, and taking my
+face between her hands, she cried: "You would move a heart of stone!" She
+wiped her eyes, and turning to her husband, said: "Good God! she's a
+marvel!"
+
+"No, no!" he snuffled, "not yet, Sallie; but she's a marvel in embryo!"
+He patted me on the shoulder. "You have a fortune somewhere between your
+throat and your eyes, my girl--you have, indeed!"
+
+And then I rushed to don my borrowed robes for the next act, and stared
+stupidly when Hattie said: "What lovely applause you got, Clara, and you
+so frightened; you shook all over when you went on, we could see you."
+
+But I was too excited over what was yet to be done really to comprehend
+her words. When I saw myself in the glass I was delighted. The open robe
+of pale blue satin, brocaded with silver, was lifted at the sides with
+big bunches of blush and deep-pink roses over a white satin petticoat. I
+wore a high Spanish comb, a white mantilla, a pink rose over the ear,
+after the national fashion, and a great cluster of roses at my breast,
+and for the first time I felt the subtle joy that emanates from beautiful
+and becoming garments. The fine softness of the rich fabric was pleasant
+to my touch--its silken rustle was music to my ear. Miss St. Clair had
+lent me of her best, and as I saw it all reflected there, I thought how
+easy it must be for the rich to be good and happy, never dreaming that
+the wealthy, who to escape _ennui_ and absolute idleness sometimes did
+wrong simply because there was nothing else to do, might think in turn,
+ah! how easy it must be for the poor to be good and happy.
+
+But the overture ended abruptly. I gathered up my precious draperies and
+ran to the entrance to be ready for my cue. The first speeches were cold,
+haughty, and satirical. The gypsy who was personating my dead lover had
+deceived everyone else, even the half-blind old mother had accepted him
+as her son, though declaring him greatly changed in temper and in manner.
+But I, the sweetheart, was not convinced, and ignoring the advice of the
+highest at the court, was fighting the adventurer with the courage of
+despair.
+
+As the scene went on, the stage hands (carpenters, gas-men,
+scene-shifters, etc.) began to gather in the entrances, always a sign of
+something unusual going on. I saw them--an ugly thought sprang up in my
+mind. Ah, yes, they are there waiting to see the ballet-girl fail in a
+leading part! An unworthy suspicion, I am sure, but it acted as a spur
+would have done upon an already excited horse, and with the same result,
+loss of self-control.
+
+In the denunciation of the adventurer as a murderer and a personator of
+his own victim my passion rose to a perfect fury. I swept the stage,
+storming, raging, fearing nothing under heaven but the possible escape of
+the wretch I hated! Vaguely I noted the manager reaching far over a
+balcony to see me--I didn't care even for the manager. The audience burst
+into tremendous applause; I didn't care for that either, I only wanted
+to see a rapier through the heart of the pale, sneering man before me. It
+was momentary madness. People were startled--the star twice forgot her
+lines. It was not correct, it was not artistic work. She, the part, was a
+great lady, and even her passion should have been partially restrained;
+but I, who played her, a ballet-girl, earning $5 a week, what could you
+expect, pray, for the price? Certainly not polish or refinement. But the
+genuine feeling, the absolute sincerity, and the crude power lavished
+upon the scene delighted the audience and created a very real sensation.
+
+The curtain fell. Miss St. Clair took me into her kind arms and, without
+a word, kissed me heartily. The applause went on and on. She caught my
+hand and said, "Come!" As she led me to the curtain, I suddenly realized
+her intention, and a very agony of bashfulness seized upon me. I
+struggled frantically. "Oh, don't!" I begged. "Oh, please, I'm nobody,
+they won't like it, Miss St. Clair."
+
+She motioned the men to pull back the curtain, and she dragged me out
+before it with her. The applause redoubled. Shamed and stupid, I stood
+there, my chin on my breast. Then I heard the laugh I so admired (Miss
+St. Clair had a laugh that the word merry describes perfectly), her arm
+went about my neck, while her fingers beneath my chin lifted my face till
+I met her smiling glance and smiled back at her. Then the audience burst
+into a great laugh, and bowing awkwardly to them and to her, I backed
+off, out of sight, as quickly as I could; she, bowing like a young
+prince, followed me. But again they called, and again the generous woman
+took me with her.
+
+And that was the first time I ever experienced the honor of going before
+the curtain with a star. I supposed I had received the highest possible
+reward for my night's work; I forgot there were such things as newspapers
+in the town, but I was reminded of their existence the next day.
+
+Never, never was I so astonished. Such notices as were given of the
+performance, and what was particularly dwelt upon, think you? Why, the
+tears. "Real tears--tears that left streaks on the girl's cheeks!" said
+one paper. "Who is she--have you seen her--the wonderful Columbus
+ballet-girl, who wins tears with tears, real ones, too?" asked another.
+
+I was ashamed. I was afraid people would make fun of me at the theatre.
+At the box-office window that day many people were asking: "That girl
+that made the hit last night, is she really one of the ballet, or is it
+just a story, for effect?"
+
+Some women asked, anxiously: "Will that girl cry to-night, do you think?"
+
+It was very strange. One paper had a quieter article; it spoke of a rough
+diamond--of an earnest, honest method of addressing speeches directly to
+the character, instead of to the audience, as did many of the older
+actors. It claimed a future, a fair, bright future for the girl who could
+so thoroughly put herself in another's place, and declared it would watch
+with interest the movements of so remarkable a ballet-girl.
+
+Now see how oddly we human dice are shaken about, and in what groups we
+fall, again and again. Among the honorable gentlemen sitting at that time
+in the Ohio Legislature was Colonel Donn Piatt, with the fever of the
+Southern marshes yet in his blood as a souvenir of his services through
+the war. He had gone languidly enough to the theatre that night, because
+there was nothing else for him to do--unless he swapped stories of the
+war in the hotel corridor with other ex-soldiers, and he was sick to
+death of that, and he was so surprised by what he saw that he was moved
+to write the article from which the last quotation is taken. Stopping in
+the same hotel, but quite unknown to him, was a young man, hardly out of
+boyhood, whose only lie, I honestly believe, was the one he told and
+swore to in order to raise his age to the proper military height that
+would admit him into the army. Bright, energetic, almost attaining
+perpetual motion in his own person, ambitious John A. Cockerill just then
+served in the double capacity of a messenger in the House and reporter on
+a paper. Diphtheria, which was almost epidemic that winter, visited the
+staff of the paper he was on, and in consequence he was temporarily
+assigned to its dramatic work--thus he wrote another of the notices of my
+first venture in the tearful drama. Every day these two men were in the
+State-house--every day I walked through its grounds on my way to and from
+the theater--each quite unconscious of the others.
+
+But old Time shakes the box and casts the dice so many, many times,
+groupings must repeat themselves now and again, so it came about that
+after years filled with hard work and fair dreams, another shake of the
+box cast us down upon the table of Life, grouped together again--but each
+man knew and served me now faithfully, loyally; each giving me a hand to
+pull me up a step higher. They hated each other bitterly, vindictively,
+as journalists have been known to do occasionally; and as I knew the
+noble qualities of both, what better reward could I give for their
+goodness to me than to clasp their hands together and make them friends?
+It was not an easy task, it required _finesse_ as well as courage, but
+that was the kind of task a woman loves--if she succeeds, and I
+succeeded.
+
+They became friends, strong, earnest friends for the rest of their lives.
+Death severed the bond, if it is severed; I do not know, and they may not
+return to tell me--I only know that in the years that were to come, when
+each man headed a famous paper, Colonel John A. Cockerill, of the New
+York _World_, who wrote many a high word of praise for me when victory
+had at last perched on my banner, and Colonel Piatt, who with his
+brilliant wife made me known to many famous men and women in their
+hospitable Washington home, loved to recall that night in Columbus when,
+all unconsciously, we three came so near to each other, only to drift
+apart for years and come together again.
+
+And once I said, "like motes," and Donn Piatt swiftly added, "and a
+sunbeam," and both men lifted their glasses and, nodding laughingly at
+me, cried: "To the sunbeam!" while Mrs. Piatt declared, "That's a very
+pretty compliment," but to me the unanimity of thought between those
+erstwhile enemies was the prettiest thing about it.
+
+But even so small a success as that had its attendant shadows, as I soon
+found. Though I was then boarding, with Hattie McKee for my room-mate, I
+felt I still owed a certain duty and respect to Mrs. Bradshaw. Therefore,
+when this wonderful thing happened to me, I thought I ought to go and
+tell her all about it. I went; she gave me a polite, unsmiling
+good-morning and pointed to a chair. I felt chilled. Presently she
+remarked, with a small, forced laugh: "You have become so great a person,
+I scarcely expected to see you here to-day."
+
+I looked reproachfully at her, as I quietly answered: "But you see I am
+here;" then added, "I did not think you would make fun of me, Mrs.
+Bradshaw, I only tried to do my best."
+
+"Oh," she replied, "one does not make fun of very successful people."
+
+I turned away to hide my filling eyes, as I remarked: "Perhaps I'd better
+go away now."
+
+I moved toward the door, wounded to the heart. I had thought she would be
+so pleased--you see, I was young yet, and sometimes very stupid--I forgot
+she had a daughter. But suddenly she called to me in the old, kindly
+voice I was so used to: "Come back Clara," she cried, "come back! It's
+mean to punish you for another's fault. My dear, I congratulate you; you
+have only proved what I have long believed, that you have in you the
+making of a fine actress. But when I think who had that same chance, and
+that it was deliberately thrown away," her lips trembled, "I--well, it's
+hard to bear. Even all this to-do about you in the part does not make
+her regret what she has done."
+
+Poor mother! I felt so sorry for her. I wished to go away then, I thought
+my presence was unpleasant, but she made me tell her all about the
+evening, and describe Miss St. Clair's dress, and what everyone said and
+did. Loyal soul! I think that was a self-inflicted penance for a
+momentary unkindness.
+
+Blanche gave me her usual kind greeting, and added the words: "Say, if I
+hadn't given you the chance, you couldn't have been a big gun to-day. You
+know Mr. Ellsler won't dare to give you anything, but he would have given
+me a nice present if I had done the part for him. So after all I've lost,
+I think you might give me a new piece of chewing-gum, mine won't snap or
+squeak or stretch out or do anything, it's just in its crumbly old age."
+
+I gave the new gum; so, now, if that success seems not quite square, if
+you think I made an unfair use of my funds in obtaining promotion, do
+please remember that I was only an accessory _after_ the act--not before
+it. I am the more anxious this should be impressed upon your mind because
+that penny was the only one I ever spent in paying for advancement
+professionally.
+
+The second night of the "Lone House" was also the last night of Miss St.
+Clair's engagement, and when I carried her blue-brocade gown back to her,
+eagerly calling attention to its spotless condition, she stood with her
+hand high against the wall and her head resting heavily upon her
+outstretched arm. It was an attitude of such utter collapse, there was
+such a wanness on her white face that the commonplace words ceased to
+bubble over my lips, and, startled, I turned toward her husband. Charles
+Barras, gentleman as he was by birth and breeding, and one time officer
+in the American navy, was nevertheless in manner and appearance so odd
+that the sight or the sound of him provoked instant smiles, but that
+night his eyes were a tragedy, filled as they were with an anguish of
+helpless love.
+
+For a sad moment he gazed at her silently--then he was counting drops
+from a bottle, holding smelling-salts to her pinched nostrils, removing
+her riding-boots, indeed, deftly filling the place not only of nurse, but
+dressing-maid, and as the wanness gradually faded from her weary face,
+bravely ignoring her own feelings, she made a little joke or two, then
+gave me hearty thanks for coming to her rescue, as she called it, praised
+my effort at acting, and asked me how I liked a crying part.
+
+"Oh, I don't like it at all," I answered.
+
+"Ah," she sighed, "we never like what we do best; that's why I can never
+be contented in elegant light comedy, but must strain and fret after
+dramatic, tragic, and pathetic parts--and to think that a young,
+untrained girl should step out of obscurity and without an effort do what
+I have failed in all these years!"
+
+I stood aghast. "Why--why, Miss St. Clair!" I exclaimed, "you have
+applause and applause every night of your life!"
+
+"Oh," she laughed, "you foolish child, it's not the applause I'm thinking
+of, but something finer, rarer. You have won tears, my dear, a thing I
+have never done in all my life, and never shall, no, never, I see that
+now!"
+
+"I wish I had not!" I answered, remorsefully and quite honestly, because
+I was quite young and unselfish yet, and I loved her, and she understood
+and leaned over and kissed my cheek, and told me not to bury my talent,
+but to make good use of it by and by when I was older and free to choose
+a line of business. "Though," she added, "even here I'll wager it's few
+comedy parts that will come your way after to-night, young lady." And
+then I left her.
+
+That same night I heard that a dread disease already abode with her, and
+slept and waked and went and came with her, and would not be shaken off,
+but clung ever closer and closer; and, oh! poor Charles Barras! money
+might have saved her then--money right then might have saved this woman
+of his love, and God only knows how desperately he struggled, but the
+money came not. Then, worse still, Sallie was herself the bread-winner,
+and though Mr. Barras worked hard, doing writing and translating, acting
+as agent, as nurse, as maid, playing, too, in a two-act comedy, "The
+Hypochondriac," he still felt the sting of living on his wife's earnings,
+and she had, too, a mother and an elder sister to support; therefore she
+worked on and disease worked with her.
+
+Charles Barras said, with bitter sarcasm in his voice: "I-I-I always see
+m-my wife Sallie with a helpless woman over each shoulder, a-a-and myself
+on her back, like the 'old man of the sea,' a-a-a pretty heavy burden
+that for a sick woman to carry, my girl! a-a-and a mighty pleasant
+picture for a man to have of his wife! A-a-and money--great God, money,
+right now, might save her--might save her!" He turned suddenly from me
+and walked on to the pitch-dark stage.
+
+Poor Mr. Barras, I could laugh no more at his heelless boots, his funny
+half-stammer, and his ancient wig, not even when I recall the memory of
+that blazing Sunday in a Cincinnati Episcopal church, when, the stately
+liturgy over, the Reverend Doctor ascended the pulpit and, regardless of
+the suffering of his sweltering hearers, droned on endlessly, and Mr.
+Barras leaned forward, and drawing a large palm fan from the next pew's
+rack, calmly lifted his wig off with one hand while with the other he
+alternately fanned his ivory bald head and the steaming interior of his
+wig. The action had an electrical effect. In a moment even the sleepers
+were alert, awake, a fact which so startled the preacher that he lost
+his place--hemmed--h-h-med, and ran down, found the place again,
+started, saw Barras fanning his wig, though paying still most decorous
+attention to the pulpit, and before they knew it they were all
+scrambling to their feet at "Might, Majesty, and Power!"--were
+scrabbling for their pockets at "Let your light so shine," for Mr.
+Barras had shortened the service with a vengeance; hence the forgiving
+glances cast upon him as he carefully replaced his wig and sauntered
+forth.
+
+Several years after that night in Columbus, when I had reached New York
+and was rehearsing for my first appearance there, I one morning heard
+hasty, shuffling steps following me, and before I could enter the
+stage-door, a familiar "Er-er-er Clara, Clara!" stopped me, and I turned
+to face the wealthy author of the "Black Crook"--Mr. Charles Barras.
+There he stood in apparently the same heelless cloth gaiters, the same
+empty-looking black alpaca suit, the clumsy turned-over collar that was
+an integral part of the shirt and not separate from it, the big black
+satin handkerchief-tie that he had worn years ago, but the face, how
+bloodless, shrunken, lined, and sorrowful it looked beneath the
+adamantine youthfulness of that chestnut wig!
+
+"D-d-don't you know me?" he asked.
+
+"Yes, of course I do," I answered as I took his hand.
+
+"W-w-well then don't run away--er-er it's against law, r-religion, or
+decency to turn your back on a rich man. D-d-dodge the poor, Clara, my
+girl! but never turn your back on a man with money!"
+
+I was pained; probably I looked so. He went on: "I-I-I'm rich now, Clara.
+I've got a fine marine villa, and in it are an old, old dog and a dying
+old woman. They both belonged to my Sallie, and so I'll keep hold of 'em
+as long as I can, for her sake. A-a-after they go!" he turned his head
+away, he looked up at the beautiful blue indifference of the sky, his
+face seemed to tremble all over, his eyes came back, and he muttered:
+"W-w-we'll see--w-w-we'll see what will happen then. But, Clara, you
+remember that time when money could have saved her? The money I receive
+in one week now, if I could have had it then, she, Sallie, might be over
+there on Broadway now buying the frills and furbelows she loved and
+needed, too, and couldn't have. The little boots and slippers--you
+remember Sallie's instep? Had to have her shoes to order always," he
+stopped, he pressed his lips tight together for a moment, then suddenly
+he burst out: "By God, when a man struggles hard all his life, it's a
+damn rough reward to give him a handsome coffin for his wife!"
+
+Oh, poor rich man! how my heart ached for him. A tear slipped down my
+cheek; he saw it. "D-d-don't!" he said, "d-don't, my girl, she can't come
+back, and it hurts her to have anyone grieve. I want you to come and see
+me, when you get settled here, a-a-and I wish you a great big success. My
+Sallie liked you, she spoke often of you. I-I-I'll let you know how to
+get out there, and I-I-I'll show you her dog--old Belle, and you can
+stroke her, and er-er sit in Sallie's chair a little while perhaps--and
+er--don't, my girl, don't cry, she can't come back, you know," and
+shaking my hands he left me, thinking I was crying for Sallie, who was
+safe at rest and had no need of tears, while instead they were for
+himself--so old, so sad, so lonely, such a poor rich man! Did he know
+then how near Death was to him? Some who knew him well believe unto this
+day that the fatal fall from the cars was no fall, but a leap--only God
+knows.
+
+I never paid the promised visit--could find no opportunity--and I never
+saw him again, that eccentric man, devoted husband, and honest gentleman,
+Charles Barras.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTIETH
+
+  I Have to Pass through Bitter Humiliation to Win High Encomiums from
+  Herr Bandmann; while Edwin Booth's Kindness Fills the Theatre with Pink
+  Clouds, and I Float Thereon.
+
+
+Occasionally one person united two "lines of business," as in the case of
+Mrs. Bradshaw, who played "old women" and "heavy business" both, and when
+anything happened to disqualify such a person for work the inconvenience
+was of course very great. Mrs. Bradshaw, as I have said before, was very
+stout, but her frame was delicate in the extreme, and her slender ankles
+were unable to bear her great weight, and one of them broke. Of course
+that meant a long lying up in dry-dock for her, and any amount of worry
+for ever so many other people. Right in the middle of her imprisonment
+came the engagement of the German actor, Herr Daniel Bandmann. He was to
+open with "Hamlet," and, gracious Heaven! I was cast for the
+_Queen-mother_. It took a good deal in the way of being asked to do
+strange parts to startle me, but the _Queen-mother_ did it. I was just
+nicely past sixteen, but even I dared not yet lay claim to seventeen, and
+I was to go on the stage for the serious Shakespearian mother of a star.
+
+"Oh, I couldn't!"
+
+"Can't be helped--no one else," growled Mr. Ellsler. "Just study your
+lines, right away, and do the best you can."
+
+I had been brought up to obey, and I obeyed. We had heard much of Mr.
+Bandmann, of his originality, his impetuosity, and I had been very
+anxious to see him. After that cast, however, I would gladly have
+deferred the pleasure. The dreaded morning came. Mr. Bandmann, a very big
+man, to my frightened eyes looked gigantic. He was dark-skinned, he had
+crinkly, flowing hair, his eyes were of the curious red-brown color of a
+ripe chestnut. He was large of voice, and large of gesture. There was a
+greeting, a few introductions, and then rehearsal was on, and soon, oh!
+so soon, there came the call for the _Queen_. I came forward. He glanced
+down at me, half smiled, waved his arm, and said: "Not you, not the
+_Player-Queen_, but _Gertrude_."
+
+I faintly answered: "I'm sorry, sir, but I have to play _Gertrude_."
+
+"Oh, no you won't!" he cried, "not with me!" He was furious, he stamped
+his feet, he turned to the manager: "What's all this infernal nonsense? I
+want a woman for this part! What kind of witches' broth are you serving
+me, with an old woman for my _Ophelia_, and an apple-cheeked girl for my
+mother! She can't speak these lines! she, dumpling face!"
+
+Mr. Ellsler said, quietly: "There is sickness in my company. The heavy
+woman cannot act; this young girl will not look the part, of course, but
+you need have no fear about the lines, she never loses a word."
+
+"Curse the _words_! It is, that that little girl shall not read with the
+sense one line, no, not one line of the Shakespeare!" his English was
+fast going in his rage.
+
+Mr. Ellsler answered: "She will read the part as well as you ever heard
+it in your life, Mr. Bandmann." And Mr. Bandmann gave a jeering laugh,
+and snapped his fingers loudly.
+
+It was most insulting, and I felt overwhelmed with humiliation. Mr.
+Ellsler said, angrily: "Very well, as I have no one else to offer you, we
+will close the theatre for the night!"
+
+But Mr. Bandmann did not want to close--not he. So, after swearing in
+German for a time, he resumed rehearsal, and when my time came to speak I
+could scarcely lift my drooping head or conquer the lump in my throat,
+but, somehow, I got out the entreating words:
+
+      "Good Hamlet, cast thy Knighted color off,
+      And let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark."
+
+He lifted his head suddenly--I went on:
+
+      "Do not, for ever, with thy veiled lids
+      Seek for thy noble father in the dust."
+
+He exclaimed, surprisedly: "So! so!" as I continued my speech. Now in
+this country, "So--so!" is a term applied to restless cows at
+milking-time, and the devil of ridicule, never long at rest in my mind,
+suddenly wakened, so that when I had to say:
+
+      "Let not thy mother lose her prayers, Hamlet:
+      I pray thee, stay with us; go not to Wittenberg."
+
+and Mr. Bandmann smilingly cried: "So! so!" and I swiftly added the word
+"Bossy," and every soul on the stage broke into laughter. He saw he was
+laughed at, and it took a whole week's time and an elaborate explanation,
+to enable him to grasp the jest--but when he got a good hold of it, he
+so! so! bossied and stamped and laughed at a great rate.
+
+During the rehearsal--which was difficult in the extreme, as his business
+(_i.e._, actions or poses accompanying certain words) was very different
+from that we were used to--he never found one single fault with my
+reading, and made just one suggestion, which I was most careful to
+follow--for one taste of his temper had been enough.
+
+Then came the night--a big house, too, I remember. I wore long and loose
+garments to make me look more matronly; but, alas! the drapery _Queen
+Gertrude_ wears, passed under her jaws from ear to ear, was particularly
+becoming to me, and brought me uncommonly near to prettiness. Mr.
+Ellsler groaned, but said nothing, while Mr. Bandmann sneered out an "Ach
+Himmel!" shrugged his shoulders, and made me feel real nice and happy.
+And when one considers that without me the theatre must have closed or
+changed its bill, even while one pities him for the infliction, one feels
+he was unnecessarily unkind.
+
+Well, all went quietly until the closet scene--between _Hamlet_, the
+_Queen_, and the _Ghost_. It is a great scene, and he had some very
+effective business. I forgot Bandmann in _Hamlet_. I tried hard to show
+shame, pride, and terror. The applause was rapturous. The curtain fell,
+and--why, what, in the name of heaven, was happening to me?
+
+I was caught by the arms and lifted high in air; when I came down I was
+crushed to _Hamlet's_ bosom, with a crackling sound of breaking
+Roman-pearl beads, and in a whirlwind of "Himmels!" "Gotts!" and things,
+I was kissed with frenzied wet kisses on either cheek--on my brow--my
+eyes. Then disjointed English came forth: "Oh, you so great, you kleine
+apple-cheeked girl! you maker of the fraud--you so great nobody! ach! you
+are fire--you have pride--you are a _Gertrude_ who have shame!" More
+kisses, then suddenly he realized the audience was still
+applauding--loudly and heartily. He grasped my hand, he dragged me before
+the curtain, he bowed, he waved his hands, he threw one arm about my
+shoulders.
+
+"Good Lord!" I thought, "he isn't going to do it all over again--out
+here, is he?" and I began backing out of sight as quickly as possible.
+
+It was a very comforting plaster to apply to my wounds--such a success as
+that, but it would have been so much pleasanter not to have received the
+wound in the first place.
+
+Mr. Bandmann's best work, I think, was done in "Narcisse." His _Hamlet_
+seemed to me too melodramatic--if I may say so. If _Hamlet_ had had all
+that tremendous fund of energy, all that love of action, the _Ghost_
+need never have returned to "whet his almost blunted purpose." Nor could
+I like his scene with his guilty mother. There was not even a _forced_
+show of respect for her. There was no grief for her wrong-doing--rather,
+his whole tone was that of a triumphant detective. And his speeches,
+"Such an act!" and "Look upon this picture!" were given with such
+unction--such a sneeringly, perfect comprehension of her lust, as to
+become themselves lustful.
+
+His _Shylock_ was much admired, I believe, but _Narcisse_ was a most
+artistic piece of work. His appearance was superb; his philosophical
+flippancy anent his poverty, his biting contempt of the powerful
+_Pompadour_; his passion and madness on discovering his lost wife in the
+person of the dying favorite, and his own death, were really great.
+
+And just one little month after the departure of the impetuous German,
+who should be announced but Mr. Edwin Booth. I felt my eyes growing
+wider as I read in the cast, "_Queen Gertrude--Miss Morris_." Uncle
+Dick, behind me, said: "Would you like me to d----n poor Brad's bones
+for you, Clara? It's hard lines on you, and that's a fact!"
+
+"Oh!" I thought, "why won't her blessed old bones mend themselves! she is
+not lazy, but they are! oh, dear! oh, dear!" and miserable tears slid
+down my cheeks all the way home, and moistened saltily my supper of
+crackers after I got there.
+
+I had succeeded before, oh, yes; but I could not help recalling just how
+hot the ploughshares were over which I had walked to reach that success.
+Then, too, all girls have their gods--some have many of them. Some girls
+change them often. My gods were few. Sometimes I cast one down, but I
+never changed them, and on the highest, whitest pedestal of all, grave
+and gentle, stood the god of my professional idolatry--Edwin Booth. I
+wiped off cracker-crumbs with one hand and tears with the other.
+
+It was so humiliating to be forced upon anyone, as I should be forced
+upon Mr. Booth, since there was still no one but my "apple-cheeked" self
+to go on for the _Queen_; and though I dreaded indignant complaint or
+disparaging remarks from him, I was honestly more unhappy over the
+annoyance this blemish on the cast would cause him. Well, it could not be
+helped, I should have to bear a second cruel mortification, that was all.
+I put my four remaining crackers back in their box, brushed up the
+crumbs, wiped my eyes, repeated my childish little old-time "Now I lay
+me," and went to sleep; only to dream of Mr. Booth holding out a hideous
+mask, and pressing me to have the decency to put it on before going on
+the stage for _Gertrude_.
+
+When the dreaded Monday came, lo! a blizzard came with it. The trains
+were all late, or stalled entirely. We rehearsed, but there was no Mr.
+Booth present. He was held in a drift somewhere on the line, and at
+night, therefore, we all went early to the theatre, so that if he came we
+would have time to go over the important scenes--or if he did not come
+that we might prepare for another play.
+
+He came. Oh, how my heart sank! This would be worse for him even than it
+had been for Mr. Bandmann, for the latter knew of his disappointing
+_Queen_ in the morning, and had time to get over the shock, but poor Mr.
+Booth was to receive his blow only a few minutes before going on the
+stage. At last it came--the call.
+
+"Mr. Booth would like to see you for a few moments in his room."
+
+I went, I was cold all over. He was so tired, he would be so angry. I
+tapped. I went in. He was dressed for _Hamlet_, but he was adding a touch
+to his brows, and snipping a little at his nails--hurriedly. He looked
+up, said "Good-evening!" rather absently, then stopped, looked again,
+smiled, and waving his hand slightly, said, just in Bandmann's very
+words: "No, not you--not the _Player-Queen_--but _Gertrude_."
+
+Tears rushed to my eyes, my whole heart was in my voice as I gasped: "I'm
+so sorry, sir, but _I_ have to do _Queen Gertrude_. You see," I rushed
+on, "our heavy woman has a broken leg and can't act."
+
+A whimsical look, half smile, half frown, came over his face. "That's bad
+for the _heavy_ woman," he remarked.
+
+"Yes," I acquiesced, "but, if you please, I had to do this part with Mr.
+Bandmann too, and--and--I'll only worry you with my looks, sir, not about
+the words or business."
+
+He rested his dark, unspeakably melancholy eyes on my face, his brows
+raised and then knit themselves in such troubled wise as made me long to
+put an arm about his shoulders and assure him I wouldn't be so awfully
+bad.
+
+Then he sighed and said: "Well, it was the closet-scene I wanted to speak
+to you about. When the _Ghost_ appears, you are to be--" He stopped, a
+faint smile touched his lips, even reached his eyes; he laid down his
+scissors, and remarked, "There's no denying it, my girl, I look a great
+deal more like your father than you look like my mother--but," he went on
+with his directions, and, considerate gentleman that he was, spoke no
+single unkind word to me, though my playing of that part must have been a
+great annoyance to him, when added to hunger and fatigue.
+
+When the closet-scene was over, the curtain down, I caught up my petticoats
+and made a rapid flight roomward. The applause was filling the theatre.
+Mr. Booth, turning, called after me: "You--er--_Gertrude_--er--_Queen_! Oh,
+somebody call that child back here," and someone roared: "Clara--Mr. Booth
+is calling you!"
+
+I turned, but stood still. He beckoned, then came to me, took my hand,
+and saying: "My dear, we must not keep them waiting _too_ long!" led me
+before the curtain with him. I very slightly bent my head to the
+audience, whom I felt were applauding _Hamlet_ only, but turned and bowed
+myself to the ground to him whose courtesy had brought me there.
+
+When we came off he smiled amusedly, tapped me on the shoulder, and said:
+"My Gertrude, you are very young, but you know how to pay a pretty
+compliment--thank you, child!"
+
+So, whenever you see pictures of nymphs or goddesses floating on pink
+clouds, and looking idiotically happy, you can say to yourself: "That's
+just how Clara Morris felt when Edwin Booth said she had paid him a
+compliment."
+
+Yes, I floated, and I'll take a solemn oath, if necessary, that the whole
+theatre was filled with pink clouds the rest of that night--for girls are
+made that way, and they can't help it.
+
+In after years I knew him better, and I treasure still the little note he
+sent me in answer to my congratulation on his escape from the bullet
+fired at him from the gallery of the theatre in Chicago. A note that
+expressed as much gentle surprise at my "kind thought for him," as though
+I only, and not the whole country, was rejoicing at his safety.
+
+He had a wonderful power to win love from other men--yes, I use the word
+advisedly. It was not mere good-fellowship or even affection, but there
+was something so fine and true, so strong and sweet in his nature, that
+it won the love of those who knew him best.
+
+It would seem like presumption for me to try to add one little leaf to
+the tight-woven laurel crown he wore. Everyone knows the agony of his
+"Fool's Revenge," the damnable malice of his _Iago_, the beauty and fire
+of _Antony_, and the pure perfection of his _Hamlet_--but how many knew
+the slow, cruel martyrdom of his private life! which he bore with such
+mute patience that in my heart there is an altar raised to the memory of
+that Saint Edwin of many sorrows, who was known and envied by the world
+at large--as the great actor, Edwin Booth.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-FIRST
+
+  I Digress, but I Return to the Columbus Engagement of Mr. and Mrs.
+  Charles Kean--Their Peculiarities and Their Work.
+
+
+Before one has "arrived," it is astonishing how precious the simplest
+word of encouragement or of praise becomes, if given by one who has
+"arrived." Not long ago a lady came up to me and said: "I am Mrs. D----,
+which is, of course, Greek to you; but I want to thank you now for your
+great goodness to me years ago. I was in the ballet in a Chicago theatre.
+You were playing 'Camille.' One day the actress who played _Olympe_ was
+sick, and as I was, you said, the tallest and the handsomest of the
+girls, you gave the part to me. I was wild with delight until the
+nervousness got hold of me. I was not strong--my stomach failed me; the
+girls thought that very funny, and guyed me unmercifully. I was surely
+breaking down. You came along, ready to go on, and heard them. I could
+scarcely stand. You said: 'What's the matter--are you nervous?' I tried
+to speak, but only nodded. You took my hand and, stroking it, gently
+said, 'Isn't it awful?' then, glancing at my tormentors, added, 'but it's
+nothing to be ashamed of, and just as soon as you face the footlights all
+your courage will come back to you, and, my dear, comfort yourself with
+the knowledge that the perfectly collected, self-satisfied beginner
+rarely attains a very high position on the stage.' Oh, if you only knew
+how my heart jumped at your words. My fingers grew warmer, my nerves
+steadier, and I really did succeed in getting the lines over my lips some
+way. But you saved me, you made an actress of me. Ah, don't laugh! don't
+shake your head, please! Had I failed that night, don't you see, I should
+never have had a chance given me again; while, having got through safely,
+it was not long before I was pointed out as the girl who had played
+_Olympe_ with Miss Morris, and on the strength of that I was trusted with
+another part, and so crept on gradually; and now I want to thank you for
+the sympathy and kindness you showed me so long ago"--and though her warm
+gratitude touched me deeply, I had then--have now--no recollection
+whatever of the incident she referred to, nor of ever having seen before
+her very handsome face. And so, no doubt, many of whom I write, who from
+their abundance cast _me_ a word of praise or of advice now and again,
+will have no memory of the _largesse_ which I have cherished all these
+years.
+
+Among my most treasured memories I find the gentle words and astonishing
+prophecy of Mr. Charles Kean. That was the last visit to this country of
+Mr. and Mrs. Kean, and his memory was failing him grievously. He had with
+him two English actors, each of whom knew every line of all his parts,
+and their duty was, when on the stage or off, so long as Mr. Kean was
+before the house, to keep their eyes on him, and at the first sign of
+hesitancy on his part one of them gave him the needed word. Once or
+twice, when he seemed quite bewildered, Mr. Cathcart, turning his back to
+the audience, spoke Mr. Kean's entire speech, imitating his nasal tones
+to the life.
+
+But it was off the stage that the ancient couple were most delightful.
+Ellen and Charles were like a pair of old, old love-birds--a little dull
+of eye, nor quite perfect in the preening of their somewhat rumpled
+plumage, but billing and cooing with all the persistency and satisfaction
+of their first caging. Their appearance upon the street provoked
+amusement--sometimes even excitement. I often saw drivers of drays and
+wagons pull up their horses and stop in the crowded street to stare at
+them as they made their way toward the theatre. Mrs. Kean lived inside
+of the most astounding hoop woman ever carried. Its size, its weight, its
+tilting power were awful. Entrances had to be cleared of all chairs or
+tables to accommodate Mrs. Kean's hoop. People scrambled or slid sideways
+about her on the stage, swearing mentally all the time, while a sudden
+gasp from the front row or a groan from Mr. Cathcart announced a tilt and
+a revelation of heelless slippers and dead-white stockings, and in spite
+of his dignity Charles was not above a joke on Ellen's hoop, for one
+rainy day, as she strove to enter a carriage door she stuck fast, and the
+hoop--mercy! It was well Mr. Kean was there to hold it down; but as a
+troubled voice from within said: "I'm caught somehow--don't you see,
+Charles?" With a twinkling eye Charles replied: "Yes, Ellen, my dear, I
+do see--and--and I'm trying to keep everyone else from seeing, too!" a
+speech verging so closely upon impropriety that, with antique coquetry,
+Mrs. Kean punished him by tweaking his ear when he squeezed in beside
+her.
+
+The Kean bonnet was the wonder of the town. It was a large coal-scuttle
+of white leghorn and at the back there was a sort of flounce of ribbon
+which she called her "bonnet-cape"; draped over it she wore a great,
+bright-green barege veil. But she was not half so funny as was her
+husband on the street. His short little person buttoned up tightly in a
+regular bottle-green "Mantellini" sort of overcoat, loaded with frogs of
+heavy cord, and lined, cuffed, and collared with fur of such remarkable
+color, quality, and marking as would have puzzled the most experienced
+student of natural history to name; while vicious little street boys at
+sight of it always put searching questions as to the cost of cat-skins in
+London.
+
+As they came down the street together, Mrs. Kean, majestically towering
+above her lord and master, looked like an old-time frigate with every
+inch of canvas spread, while at her side Charles puffed and fretted like
+a small tug. The street boys were a continual torment to him, but Mrs.
+Kean appeared serenely unconscious of their existence, even when her
+husband made short rushes at them with his gold-headed cane, and crying:
+"Go a-way--you irreverent little brutes--go a-way!" and then puffed
+laboriously back to her again as she sailed calmly on.
+
+One day a citizen caught one of the small savages, and after boxing his
+ears soundly, pitched him into the alley-way, when the seemingly enraged
+little Englishman said, deprecatingly: "I--I wouldn't hurt the little
+beast--he--he hasn't anyone to teach him any better, you know--poor
+little beggar!" and then he dropped behind for a moment to pitch a
+handful of coppers into the alley before hurrying up to his wife's side
+to boast of the jolly good drubbing the little monster had received--from
+which I gathered the idea that in a rage Charles would be as fierce as
+seething new milk.
+
+Everyone who knew anything at all of this actor knew of his passionate
+love and reverence for his great father. He used always to carry his
+miniature in _Hamlet_, using it in the "Look here, upon this picture,
+then on this," scene; but I knew nothing of all that when he first
+arrived to play engagements both in Cleveland and Columbus, but being
+very eager to see all I could of him, I came very early to the theatre,
+and as I walked up and down behind the scenes I caught two or three times
+a glint of something on the floor, which might have been a bit of tinsel;
+but finally I went over to it, touched it with my foot, and then picked
+up an oval gold case, with handsome frame enclosing a picture; a bit of
+broken ribbon still hung from the ring on top of the frame. I ran with it
+to the prompter, who knew nothing of it, but said there would soon be a
+hue and cry for it from someone, as it was of value. "Perhaps you'd
+better take it to Mr. Kean--it might be his." I hesitated, but the
+prompter said he was busy and I was not, so I started toward the
+dressing-room the Keans shared together, when suddenly the door was flung
+open and Mr. Kean came out in evident excitement. He bumped against me
+as he was crying: "I say there--you--have you seen--oh, I--er beg your
+pardon!"
+
+I also apologized, and added: "If you please, sir, does this belong to
+you? I found it behind the scenes."
+
+He caught it from my hand, bent to look at it in the dim light, then,
+pressing it to his lips, exclaimed fervently: "Thank the good God!" He
+held up a length of broken black ribbon, saying: "Hey, but you have
+played me a nice trick!" I understood at once that he used the locket in
+"Hamlet," and I ventured: "If you can't wear gold and your ribbon cuts,
+could you not have a silver chain oxidized for your 'property' picture,
+sir?" He chucked me under the chin, exclaiming: "A good idea
+that--I--I'll tell Ellen of that; but, my dear, this is no 'property'
+locket--this is one of my greatest earthly treasures--it's the picture
+of----"
+
+He stopped--he looked at me for quite a moment, then he said: "You come
+here to the light." I followed him obediently. "Now can you tell me who
+that is a miniature of?" and he placed the oval case in my hands. I gave
+a glance at the curled hair, the beautiful profile, the broad turned-down
+collar, and smilingly exclaimed: "It's Lord Byron!"
+
+Good gracious, what was the matter with the little old gentleman! "Ha!
+ha!" he cried. "Ha! ha! listen to the girl!" He fairly pranced about; he
+got clear out on the dark stage and, holding out his hands to the
+emptiness, cried again: "Listen to the girl--Lord Byron, says she--at one
+glance!"
+
+"Well," I replied resentfully, "it _does_ look like Byron!" And he "Ha!
+ha'd!" some more, and wiped his eyes and said, "I must tell Ellen this.
+Come here, my dear, come here!" He took my hand and led me to the
+dressing-room, crying: "It's Charles, my dear--it's Charles--and oh, my
+dear, my dear, I--I have it--see now!" he held up the locket.
+
+"Oh, how glad I am! And now, Charles, perhaps you'll give up that
+miserable ribbon," and she kissed his cheek in congratulation.
+
+But on the old gentleman went: "And, Ellen, my dear, look at this girl
+here--just look at her. She found him for me, and I said, who is he--and
+she up and said--Ellen, are you listening?--said she, 'It's Lord Byron!'"
+
+"Did she now?" exclaimed Mrs. Kean, with pleased eyes.
+
+But I was getting mad, and I snapped a bit, I'm afraid, when I said:
+"Well, I don't know who it is, but it does look like Byron--I'll leave it
+to anyone in the company if it doesn't!"
+
+"Listen to her, Ellen! Hang me if she's not getting hot about it, too!"
+Then he came over to me, and in the gravest, gentlest tone said, "It _is_
+like Byron, my girl, but it is not him--you found the picture of my
+beloved and great father, Edmund Kean," and he kissed me gently on the
+forehead, and said, "Thank you--thank you!" and as Mrs. Kean came over
+and put her arm about me and repeated the kiss and thanks, Charles
+snuffled most distinctly from the corner where he was folding his
+precious miniature within a silk handkerchief.
+
+They were both at their very best in the tragedy of "Henry VIII." Mr.
+Kean's _Wolsey_ was an impressive piece of work, and to the eye he was as
+true a Cardinal as ever shared in an Ecumenical Council in Catholic Rome,
+or hastened to private audience at the Vatican with the Pope himself; and
+his superb robes, his priestly splendor had nothing about them that was
+imitation. Everything was real--the silks, the jewelled cross and ring,
+and as to the lace, I gasped for breath with sheer astonishment. Never
+had I seen, even in a picture, anything to suggest the exquisite beauty
+of that ancient web. Full thirty inches deep, the yellowing wonder fell
+over the glowing cardinal-red beneath it. I cannot remember how many
+thousands of dollars they had gladly given for it to the sisters of the
+tottering old convent in the hills, where it had been created long ago;
+and though it seemed so fragily frail and useless a thing, yet had it
+proved strong enough to prop up the leaning walls of its old home, and
+spread a sound roof above the blessed altar there--so strong sometimes is
+beauty's weakness.
+
+And Mrs. Kean, what a _Catherine_ she was! Surely nothing could have been
+taken from the part, nothing added to it, without marring its perfection.
+In the earlier acts one seemed to catch a glimpse of that Ellen Tree who
+had been a beauty as well as a popular actress when Charles Kean had come
+a-wooing. Her clear, strong features, her stately bearing were
+beautifully suited to the part of _Queen Catherine_. Her performance of
+the court scene was a liberal education for any young actress. Her regal
+dignity, her pride, her passion of hatred for _Wolsey_ held in strong
+leash, yet now and again springing up fiercely. Her address to the _King_
+was a delight to the ear, even while it moved one to the heart, and
+through the deep humility of her speech one saw, as through a veil, the
+stupendous pride of the Spanish princess, who knew herself the daughter
+of a king, if she were not the wife to one. With most pathetic dignity
+she gave her speech beginning:
+
+      "Sir, I desire you do me right and justice;"
+
+maintaining perfect self-control, until she came to the words:
+
+      "----Sir, call to mind
+      That I have been your wife in this obedience
+      Upward of twenty years and,----"
+
+Her voice faltered, the words trembled on her lips:
+
+      "----have been blest
+      With many children by you."
+
+In that painful pause one remembered with a pang that all those babes
+were dead in infancy, save only the Princess Mary. Then, controlling her
+emotion and lifting her head high, she went on to the challenge--if aught
+could be reported against her honor. It was a great act, her passionate
+cry to _Wolsey_:
+
+      "----Lord cardinal,
+      To _you_ I speak."
+
+thrilled the audience, while to his:
+
+      "----Be patient yet,"
+
+her sarcastic:
+
+      "I will, when you are humble!"
+
+cut like a knife, and brought quick applause. But best, greatest,
+queenliest of all was her exit, when refusing to obey the King's command:
+
+      "----Call her again."
+
+for years one might remember those ringing words:
+
+      "I will not tarry: no, nor ever more,
+      Upon this business, my appearance make
+      In any of their courts."
+
+It was a noble performance. Mr. Kean's mannerisms were less noticeable
+in _Wolsey_ than in other parts, and the scenes between the Queen and
+Cardinal were a joy to lovers of Shakespeare.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-SECOND
+
+  I Hear Mrs. Kean's Story of Wolsey's Robe--I Laugh at an Extravagantly
+  Kind Prophecy.
+
+
+From the time I found the miniature and by accident fed Mr. Kean's
+innocent vanity in his father's likeness to Byron, he made much of me.
+Evening after evening, in Columbus, he would have me come to their
+dressing-room, for after the habit of the old-time actor, they came very
+early, dressed without flurry, and were ready before the overture was on.
+There they would tell me stories, and when Charles had a teasing fit on
+him, he would relate with great gusto the awful disaster that once
+overtook Ellen in a theatre in Scotland, "when she played a Swiss boy, my
+girl--and--and her breeches----"
+
+"Now, Charles!" remonstrated Mrs. Kean.
+
+"Knee breeches, you know, my dear----"
+
+"Charles!" pleadingly.
+
+"Were of black velvet--yes, black velvet, I remember because, when they
+broke from----"
+
+"C-h-a-r-l-e-s!" and then the stately Mrs. Kean would turn her head away
+and give a small sob--when Charles would wink a knowing wink and trot
+over and pat the broad shoulder and kiss the rouged cheek, saying: "Why,
+why, Ellen, my dear, what a great baby! now, now, but you know those
+black breeches did break up before you got across the bridge."
+
+Then Mrs. Kean turned and drove him into his own corner or out of the
+door, after which she would exclaim: "It's just one of his larks, my
+dear. I _did_ have an accident, the seam of one leg of my breeches broke
+and showed the white lining a bit; but if you'll believe me, I've known
+that man to declare that--that--they fell off, my dear; but generally
+that's on Christmas or his birthday, when only friends are by."
+
+Mr. Kean had been the first man to wear an absolutely correct cardinal's
+robe on the stage, and very proud he was of that fact, and never failed
+in giving his Ellen all the credit of it. Until this time actors had worn
+a scarlet "something," that seemed a cross between a king's mantle or a
+woman's wrapper. Mr. Kean had been quite carried away with enthusiasm
+over his coming production of "Henry VIII.," and his wife, seeing his
+disappointment and dissatisfaction over the costumer's best efforts in
+the direction of a cardinal's robe, determined, some way or somehow, to
+obtain for him an exact copy of the genuine article.
+
+One night, while "Louis XI." was going on, Mrs. Kean herself told me how
+she had at last succeeded. They were in Rome for their holiday; they had
+many letters, some to very important personages. In her story Mrs. Kean
+gave names and dates and amounts of money expended, but they have passed
+from my memory, while the dramatic incident remains.
+
+From the first she had made known to her most powerful Roman friend her
+desire to see the robe of a cardinal--to obtain measurements from it, and
+had been treated at first to a great showing of uplifted hands and eyes
+and many "impossibles," but later on had received positive promises of
+help. Yet days, even weeks passed, and always there was some
+excuse--nothing came of the fine promises.
+
+One day, in her anxiety and disappointment, she mentioned to an English
+friend, who had long resided in Rome, her trouble over the
+procrastination of her Italian acquaintance, when the Englishwoman asked:
+"What have you paid him?" "Paid him?" cried Mrs. Kean. "Do you know you
+are speaking of F----, whose high official as well as social position is
+such----"
+
+"Oh," laughed the visitor, "his position has nothing to do with it--his
+being your friend has nothing to do with it. The Italian palm is an
+itching palm--no wonder time is being wasted. Soothe that palm the next
+time he calls, and mention the day on which you are compelled to leave
+for home, and he will act quickly enough, though you really are asking
+for next to an impossibility, when you, a woman, ask to see and handle a
+cardinal's robe."
+
+"Oh, my dear!" cried Mrs. Kean, "when that stately, gray-haired gentleman
+next came, I almost fainted at the thought of putting such an insult upon
+him as to offer him money. Indeed I could barely whisper, when clasping
+his hand I left some broad gold pieces there, murmuring, 'For the poor,
+sir!'--and if you'll believe me, he brightened up and instantly said:
+'Keep to the house to-morrow, Madame, and I will notify you what you are
+to do, and the effort to get a robe to you here having failed, you will
+have to come to the general "audience" his Holiness will grant day after
+to-morrow, and, and, hem! you will do well to have some loose _lire_ in
+your pouch, and be sure, sure, you carry a smelling-bottle. I suppose, of
+course, so famous an actress as yourself can faint at command, if need
+be? Then the tailor, an usher or two, possibly even a guard may require a
+fee, for they will run great risk in serving you, Madame. A woman within
+those sacred passages and chambers!'
+
+"He held up his hands in horror, but nevertheless he was doing directly
+what he had been promising to do for weeks, and all for a few broad
+pieces of gold. After he left me I was fairly sick with feverish
+excitement. I dared not tell Charles of the arrangement; he would have
+left Rome instantly, and here was I preparing to bribe tailor, ushers,
+guard--and beyond them, to be still armed with loose _lire_. Oh, to what
+depth was I falling!
+
+"Next day I received a card of admission for the 'audience,' and orders:
+'To keep my eyes open--to show no surprise, but to follow _silently_
+wherever a hand beckoned with a single finger. To bring all things
+needful for my use--not forgetting the loose _lire_ and the
+smelling-bottle.'
+
+"When I entered the carriage to go to the Vatican, I was so weak with
+hope and fear and fright that Charles was quite upset about me, and was
+all for going with me; so I had to brace up and pretend the air was
+already doing me good. As I looked back at him, I wondered if he would
+divorce me, if in my effort to secure the pattern of a cardinal's gown I
+should create a tremendous scandal? I wore the regulation black silk,
+with black veil, demanded for the occasion, but besides the little pouch
+of silk depending from my belt with _lire_, salts, and 'kerchief, I had
+beneath my gown a pocket in which were some white Swiss muslin, pins,
+pencil, and tablets, and small scissors.
+
+"There were many carriages--many people. I saw them all as in a dream. In
+a magnificent room the ladies were formed in line, waiting to be admitted
+to the Holy Father's presence. I was forgetting to keep my eyes
+open--there was a stir. A great door was opening down its centre. I heard
+a faint, low 'Hem!' The line began to move forward--a little louder that
+'Hem!' Suddenly my eyes cleared--I looked. A pair of curtains, a little
+ahead, trembled. I drew my smelling-bottle and held it to my nostrils, as
+if ill, but no one noticed me--all were intent upon the opening of the
+great door. As I came on a line with the curtains, a hand, dream-like,
+beckoned. I stepped sidewise between the curtains, that parted, then fell
+thick and soft behind me. Another white beckoning hand appeared at the
+far side of this chamber. Swiftly I crossed toward it. A whisper of
+'Quick! quick!' just reached me--a door opened, and I was in a
+passage-way, and for the first time saw a guide.
+
+"At the foot of the stairs he paused--yet the voice had said 'Quick!
+quick!' I thought of the loose _lire_--yes, that was it. I gave him
+three, and saw him glide up the stairs with cat-like stealth. Here were
+bare walls and floors, and all that cold cleanliness that makes a woman
+shrink and shiver.
+
+"At last I was in a small, bare room, with brick-paved floor. A table
+stood in its centre, and a small and wizened man, red-eyed and old,
+glided in and laid upon the table--oh, joy--oh, triumph almost
+reached!--a glowing-red cardinal's robe. As I laid my hand upon it the
+ferret-like custodian gave a sort of whispered groan, 'Oh, the sacrilege!
+and the danger! his whole life's occupation risked!'
+
+"I remembered the 'itching palm,' and as my hand went toward my pocket,
+his brown claw was extended, and the glint of gold so warmed his heart
+that smiles came about his toothless mouth, and seeing me, woman fashion,
+measuring by finger-lengths, he offered me a dirty old tape-measure--then
+stole to the second door 'to watch for me.' Oh, yes--to watch like the
+cat--while with all the haste possible the good and most high lady would
+gain such knowledge as she could, and after all the robe was but an old
+one, etc., etc.
+
+"All whispered, while I with the deft fingers of a skilled seamstress and
+the comprehending eye of the actress, well used to strange costumes, was
+measuring here and putting down notes, swiftly pinning on a bit of muslin
+there, and cutting an exact pattern. And, lo! the piece that crosses the
+chest, cape-like, yet without visible opening, came near undoing me.
+Tears began to blind me, but--but, ah well, my dear, I thought of
+Charles, and it is astonishing what love can do to sharpen the eyes and
+clear the brain. Suddenly the thing seemed quite plain to me. I then
+turned the hem, and ripping it open an inch or so, I took a few
+ravellings of the silk, where it was clean and bright, for a sample for
+the dyers to go by--since the silk would have to be prepared especially
+if it was to be absolutely correct.
+
+"I rearranged my veil, crept to the door, and agreeably surprised the
+watchers by telling them I was through. The ferrety old man had the robe
+in his arms, and was gliding swiftly out of the room in the merest
+instant. I followed as softly as possible the other watcher. Once an
+unseen man cleared his throat as we passed, and I thought my guide would
+have fallen from sheer terror, but we reached in safety the frescoed
+corridor again and stood at the door waiting. The guide scratched gently
+with his nails on the lower panel--a pause, then the door began to move,
+and he disappeared as a ghost might have done. Across the room a hand
+appeared between the hangings, beckoning me; I moved swiftly toward it. I
+could hear a hum of voices, low and restrained. There was but one room
+now between me and the great chamber in which we had waited in line for
+'audience.' No further signal came, what should I do? I was nearly
+fainting. Then another hand, a hand I knew by the splendid ring on its
+middle finger, appeared. I almost staggered to it. A whisper like a
+breath came to me, 'smelling-salts,' in an instant the bottle was in my
+hand, I was through the curtains, my Italian friend was asking me, was I
+not wrong to remain in Rome so late? He hoped my faintness was quite
+past, but he must himself see me to my carriage, and so he swept me
+forth, under cover of his courteous chatter, and the next day I sent him
+money for those who had to be rewarded.
+
+"And for fear of Charles's rage about the infamy of bribing, said
+nothing, till he, in great anxiety about my feverish state, removed me
+from Rome. And then, my dear! I threw my arms about his neck and told him
+he should have a true and veritable cardinal's robe for his _Wolsey_, and
+in outrageous pride I cried: '_Ego hoc feci!_'" At which _I_ gravely
+said: "That sounds like 'I have done something,' anyway it's I; but that
+'_fetchy_' word bothers me."
+
+And she laughed and laughed, and said: "It means _I_ did this! And I am
+ashamed to have used a Latin term to you, child. You must forgive me for
+it, but I _must_ tell Charles that 'fetchy' word that bothered you--I
+must indeed, because he does so love his laugh!"
+
+Then came the night when by chance I played an important part in one of
+their plays. My scenes were mostly with Mr. Cathcart, and I only came in
+contact with Mr. Kean for a moment in one act. I was as usual frightened
+half out of my life, and as I stood in the entrance ready to go on, Mr.
+Kean smilingly caught my fingers as he was passing me, but their icy
+coldness brought him to a stand-still. "Why, why! bless my soul, what's
+the matter? this--this is not nervousness, is it?" he stammered.
+
+I nodded my head. "Oh, good Lord!" he cried. "I say, Cathcart, here's a
+go--this poor child can't even open her mouth now----"
+
+I tried to tell him I should be all right soon, but there was no time.
+The word of entrance came, and a _cue_ takes the _pas_ even in presence
+of a star. I went on, and as my lines were delivered clearly and
+distinctly, I saw the relieved face of Mr. Kean peering at us, and when
+Mr. Cathcart (who enacted my soldierly lover) gave me a sounding kiss
+upon the cheek as he embraced me in farewell, we plainly heard the old
+gentleman exclaim: "Well, well, really now, James, upon my word, you
+_are_ coming on!" and Mr. Cathcart's broad shoulders shook with laughter
+rather than grief as he rushed from me.
+
+When, later on, Mr. Kean took my hand to give it in betrothal to my
+lover, he found it so burning hot as to attract his attention.
+
+Next night I did not play at all, but came to look on, and being invited
+to the dressing-room, Mr. Kean suddenly asked me: "Who are you, child?"
+
+"No one," I promptly answered.
+
+He laughed a little and nudged his Ellen, then went on: "I mean--who are
+your people?"
+
+"I have none," I said, then quickly corrected, "except my mother."
+
+"Ah, yes, yes, that's what we want to get at--who is that mother? for I
+recognize an inherited talent here--a natural grace and ease, impossible
+for one so young to acquire by any amount of effort."
+
+I was a bit confused--I hesitated. Mrs. Kean asked: "Were both of your
+parents actors, child?"
+
+Suddenly I broke into laughter. The thought of my mother as an actress
+filled me with amusement. "Oh, I beg your pardon," I cried, "I have no
+father, and my mother just works at sewing or nursing or housekeeping or
+anything she can get to do that's honest."
+
+They looked disappointedly at each other, then Mrs. Kean brightened up
+and exclaimed: "Then it's foreign blood, Charles--you can see it in her
+use of her hands."
+
+They turned expectantly to me. I thought of the big, smiling
+French-Canadian father, who had been the _bete noire_ of my babyhood. My
+head drooped. "He, my father, was bad," I said, "his father and mother
+were from the south of France, but he was a horrid Canadian--my mother,
+though, is a true American," I proudly ended.
+
+"That's it!" they exclaimed together, "the French blood!" and Mr. Kean
+nodded his head and tapped his brow and said: "You remember, Ellen, what
+I told you last night--I said 'temperament'--here it is in this small
+nobody; no offence to you, my girl. Here's our dear niece, who can't act
+at all, God bless her! our 'blood,' but no temperament. Now listen to me,
+you bright child!"
+
+He pushed my hair back from my forehead, so that I must have looked quite
+wild, and went on: "I have seen you watch that dear woman over there,
+night after night; you admire her, I know." (I nodded hard.) "You think
+her a great, great way from you?" (More nods.) "A lifetime almost?"
+(Another nod.) "Then listen to what an old man, but a most experienced
+actor, prophesies for you. Without interest in high places, without help
+from anyone, except from the Great Helper of us all, you, little girl,
+daughter of the true American mother and the bad French father, will,
+inside of five years, be acting my wife's parts--and acting them well."
+
+I could not help it, it seemed so utterly absurd, I laughed aloud. He
+smiled indulgently, and said: "It seems so funny--does it? Wait a bit, my
+dear, when my prophecy comes true you will no longer laugh, and you will
+remember us."
+
+He gave me his hand in farewell, so did his gracious wife, then with
+tears in my eyes I said: "I was only laughing at my own insignificance,
+sir, and I shall remember your kindness always, whether I succeed or not,
+just as I shall remember your great acting."
+
+Simultaneously they patted me on the shoulder, and I left them. Then Mr.
+Kean put his arm about his wife and kissed her, I know he did, because I
+looked back and saw them thus reflected in the looking-glass. But did I
+not say they were love-birds?
+
+Four years from that month I stood trembling and happy before the
+audience who generously applauded my "sleep-walking scene" in "Macbeth,"
+and suddenly I seemed to hear the kind old voice making the astonishing
+prophecy, and joyed to think of its fulfilment, with a whole year to the
+good.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-THIRD
+
+  Mr. E. L. Davenport, his Interference, his Lecture on Stage Business,
+  his Error of Memory or too Powerful Imagination--Why I Remain a
+  Dramatic Old Slipper--Contemptuous Words Arouse in Me a Dogged
+  Determination to Become a Leading Woman before Leaving Cleveland.
+
+
+Just what was the occult power of the ballet over the manager's mind no
+one ever explained to me. I found my companions very every-day,
+good-natured, kind-hearted girls--pretty to look at, pleasant to be with,
+but to Mr. Ellsler they must have been a rare and radiant lot, utterly
+unmatchable in this world, or else he knew they had awful powers for evil
+and dared not provoke their "hoodoo." Whatever the reason, the fact
+remained, he was _afraid_ to advance me one little step in name, even to
+utility woman; while, in fact, I was advanced to playing other people's
+parts nearly half the time, and the reason for this continued holding
+back was "fear of offending the other ballet-girls." Truly a novel
+position for a manager. One feels at once there must have been something
+unusually precious about such a ballet, and he feared to break the set.
+Anyway, before I got out, clear out, this happened:
+
+A number of stars had spoken to me about my folly in remaining in the
+ballet, and when I told them Mr. Ellsler was afraid to advance me for
+fear of offending the other girls, they answered variously, and many
+advised me to break the "set" myself, saying if I left he would soon be
+after me and glad to engage me for first walking lady. But my crushed
+childhood had its effect, I shall always lack self-assertion--I stayed
+on and this happened.
+
+There was no regular heavy actress that season, and the old woman was a
+tiny little rag of a creature, not bigger than a doll. Mr. E. L.
+Davenport was to open in "Othello." Mrs. Effie Ellsler was to play the
+young _Desdemona_ and I was to go on for _Emilia_. Mr. Davenport was a
+man of most reckless speech, but he was, too, an old friend of the
+Ellslers, calling them by their first names and meeting them with hearty
+greetings and many jests. So, when in the middle of a story to Mrs.
+Ellsler at rehearsal, the call came for _Othello_, _Desdemona_, and
+_Iago_, she exclaimed: "Excuse me, Ned, they are calling us," but he held
+her sleeve and answered, "Not you--it's me," and glancing hurriedly
+about, his eye met mine, and he added pleasantly, "You, my dear; they're
+calling _Desdemona_."
+
+I stood still. Mrs. Ellsler's round, black eyes snapped, but this man who
+blundered was a star and a friend. She tossed her head and petulantly
+pushed him from her toward the stage. He went on, and at the end of his
+speech:
+
+      "This only is the witchcraft I have used;
+      Here comes the lady, let her witness it."
+
+he turned to face Mrs. Ellsler entering with _Iago_ and her attendants.
+Looking utterly bewildered, he exclaimed: "Why, for God's sake, Effie,
+you are not going on for _Desdemona_, are you?"
+
+Perhaps his dissatisfaction may be better understood if I mention that a
+young man twenty-three years old, who took tickets at the dress-circle
+door, called Mrs. Ellsler mother, and that middle-aged prosperity
+expressed itself in a startling number of inches about the waist of her
+short little body. Though her feet and hands were small in the extreme,
+they could not counteract the effect of that betraying stodginess of
+figure. Mrs. Ellsler, in answer to that rude question, laughed, and said:
+"Well, I believe the leading woman generally does play _Desdemona_?"
+
+"But," cried Mr. Davenport, "where's--w-who's _Emilia_?"
+
+Mr. Ellsler took him by the arm and led him a little to one side. Several
+sharp exclamations escaped the star's lips, and at last, aloud and ending
+the conference, he said: "Yes, yes, John, I know anyone may have to twist
+about a bit now and then in a cast, but damn me if I can see why you
+don't cast Effie for _Emilia_ and this girl for _Desdemona_--then they
+would at least look something like the parts. As it is now, they are both
+ridiculous!"
+
+It was an awful speech, and the truth that was in it made it cut deep.
+There were those on the stage who momentarily expected the building to
+fall, so great was their awe of Mrs. Ellsler. The odd part of the
+unpleasant affair was that everyone was sorry for Mr. Ellsler, rather
+than for his wife.
+
+Well, night came. I trailed about after _Desdemona_--picked up the fatal
+handkerchief--spoke a line here and there as Shakespeare wills she
+should, and bided my time as all _Emilias_ must. Now I had noticed that
+many _Emilias_ when they gave the alarm--cried out their "Murder!
+Murder!" against all the noise of the tolling bells, and came back upon
+the stage spent, and without voice or breath to finish their big scene
+with, and people thought them weak in consequence. A long hanging bar of
+steel is generally used for the alarm, and blows struck upon it send
+forth a vibrating clangor that completely fills a theatre. I made an
+agreement with the prompter that he was not to strike the bar until I
+held up my hand to him. Then he was to strike one blow each time I raised
+my hand, and when I threw up both hands he was to raise Cain, until I was
+on the stage again. So with throat trained by much shouting, when in the
+last act I cried:
+
+      "I care not for thy sword; I'll make thee known,
+      Though I lost twenty lives."
+
+I turned, and crying:
+
+      "Help! help, ho! help!"
+
+ran off shouting,
+
+      "The Moor has killed my mistress!"
+
+then, taking breath, gave the long-sustained, ever-rising, blood-curdling
+cry:
+
+      "Murder! Murder! Murder!"
+
+One hand up, and one long clanging peal of a bell.
+
+      "Murder! Murder! Murder!"
+
+One hand up and bell.
+
+      "Murder! Murder! Murder!"
+
+Both hands up, and pandemonium broken loose--and, oh, joy! the audience
+applauding furiously.
+
+"One--two--three--four," I counted with closed lips, then with a fresh
+breath I burst upon the stage, followed by armed men, and with one last
+long full-throated cry of "Murder! the Moor has killed my mistress!"
+stood waiting for the applause to let me go on. A trick? yes, a small
+trick--a mere pretence to more breath than I really had, but it aroused
+the audience, it touched their imagination. They saw the horror-stricken
+woman racing through the night--waking the empty streets to life by that
+ever-thrilling cry of "Murder!" A trick if you like, but on the stage
+"success" justifies the means, and that night, under cover of the
+applause of the house, there came to me a soft clapping of hands and in
+muffled tones the words: "Bravo--bravo!" from _Othello_.
+
+When the curtain had fallen and Mr. Davenport had been before it, he
+came to me and holding out his hands, said: "You splendid-lunged
+creature--I want to apologize to you for the thoughts I harbored against
+you this morning." I smiled and glanced uneasily at the clock--he went
+on:
+
+"I have always fancied my wife in _Emilia_, but, my girl, your readings
+are absolutely new sometimes, and your strength is--what's the matter? a
+farce yet? well, what of it? you, _you_ have to go on in a farce after
+playing Shakespeare's _Emilia_ with E. L. Davenport? I'm damned if I
+believe you!"
+
+And I gathered up my cotton-velvet gown and hurried to my room to don
+calico dress, white cap and apron, and then rush down to the
+"property-room" for the perambulator I had to shove on, wondering what
+the star would think if he knew that his _Emilia_ was merely walking on
+in the farce of "Jones's Baby," without one line to speak, the second and
+speaking nursemaid having very justly been given to one of the other
+girls. But the needless sending of me on, right after the noble part of
+_Emilia_, was evidently a sop thrown by my boldly independent manager to
+his ballet--Cerberus.
+
+Heretofore stars had advised or chided me privately, but, oh, dear, oh,
+dear! next morning Mr. Davenport attacked Mr. Ellsler for
+"mismanagement," as he termed it, right before everybody. Among other
+things, he declared that it was a wound to his personal dignity as a star
+to have a girl who had supported him, "not acceptably, but brilliantly,"
+in a Shakespearian tragedy, sent on afterward in a vulgar farce. Then he
+added: "Aside from artistic reasons and from justice to her--good Lord!
+John, are you such a fool you don't understand her commercial value? Here
+you have a girl, young and pretty" (always make allowances for the warmth
+of argument), "with rare gifts and qualifications, who handles her
+audience like a magician, and you cheapen her like this? Placing her in
+the highest position only to cast her down again to the lowest. If she is
+only fit for the ballet, you insult your public by offering her in a
+leading part; if she's fit for the leading part, you insult her by
+lowering her to the ballet; but anyway I'm damned if I ever saw a
+merchant before who deliberately cheapened his own wares!"
+
+If the floor could have opened I would have been its willing victim, and
+I am sure if Mr. Davenport had known that I would have to pay for every
+sharp word spoken, he would have restrained his too free speech for my
+sake--even though he was never able to do so for his own.
+
+And what a pity it was, for he not only often wounded his friends, but
+worse still, he injured himself by flinging the most boomerang-like
+speeches at the public whenever he felt it was not properly appreciating
+him. He was wonderfully versatile, but though versatility is a requisite
+for any really good actor, yet for some mysterious reason it never meets
+with great success outside of a foreign theatre. The American public
+demands specialists--one man to devote himself solely to tragedy, another
+to romantic drama and duels, another to dress-suit satire. One woman to
+tears, another to laughter, and woe betide the star who, able to act both
+comedy and tragedy, ventures to do so; there will be no packed house to
+bear witness to the appreciation felt for such skill and variety of
+talent.
+
+Mr. Davenport's vogue was probably waning when I first knew him. He had a
+certain intellectual following who delighted in the beautiful precision
+and distinctness of his reading of the royal Dane. He always seemed to me
+a _Hamlet_ cut in crystal--so clear and pure, so cold and hard he was.
+The tender heart, the dread imaginings, the wounded pride and love, the
+fits and starts, the pain and passion that tortures _Hamlet_ each in
+turn, were utterly incompatible with the fair, highbrowed, princely
+philosopher Mr. Davenport presented to his followers. And after that
+performance I think he was most proud of his "horn-pipe" in the play of
+"Black-Eyed Susan"; and he danced it with a swiftness, a lightness, and a
+limberness of joint that were truly astonishing in a man of his years.
+Legend said that in London it had been a great "go," had drawn--oh,
+fabulous shillings, not to mention pounds--but I never saw him play
+_William_ to a good house, never--neither did I ever see the dance
+_encored_. The people did not appreciate versatility, and one night,
+while before the curtain in responding to a call, he began a bitter
+tirade against the taste of the public--offering to stand there and count
+how many there were in the house, and telling them that next week that
+same house would not hold all who would wish to enter, for there would be
+a banjo played by a woman, and such an intellectual treat was not often
+to be had, but they must not spend all their money, he was even now
+learning to swallow swords _and_ play the _banjo_; he was an old dog now,
+but if they would have a little patience he would learn their favorite
+tricks for them, even though he could not heartily congratulate them on
+their intelligence, etc., etc. Oh, it was dreadful taste and so unjust,
+too, to abuse those who were there for the fault of those who remained
+away.
+
+However, during the week's engagement of which I have been speaking, I
+had two nights in the ballet, then again I was cast for an important
+part. It was a white-letter day for me, professionally, for, thanks to
+Mr. Davenport, I learned for the first time the immense value of
+"business" alone, an action unsustained perhaps by a single word. I am
+not positive, but I believe the play was "A Soldier of Fortune" or "The
+Lion of St. Mark"--anyway it was a romantic drama. My part was not very
+long, but it had one most important scene with the hero. It was one of
+those parts that are talked about so much during the play that they gain
+a sort of fictitious value. At rehearsal I could not help noticing how
+fixedly Mr. Davenport kept gazing at me. His frown grew deeper and deeper
+as I read my lines, and I was growing most desperately frightened, when
+he suddenly exclaimed: "Wait a minute!" I stopped; he went on roughly,
+still staring hard at me, "I don't know whether you are worth breaking a
+vow for or not."
+
+Naturally I had nothing to say. He walked up the stage; as he came down,
+he said: "I've kept that promise for ten years, but you seem such an
+honest little soul about your work--I've a good mind, yes, I have a
+mind----"
+
+He sat down on the edge of the prompt-table, and though he addressed
+himself seemingly to me alone, the whole company were listening
+attentively.
+
+"When I first started out starring I honestly believed I had a mission to
+teach other less experienced actors how to act. I had made a close study
+of the plays I was to present, as well as of my own especial parts in
+them, and I actually thought it was my duty to impart my knowledge to
+those actors who were strange in them. Yes, that's the kind of a fool I
+was. I used to explain and describe, and show how, and work and sweat,
+and for my pains I received behind my back curses for keeping them so
+long at rehearsals, and before my face stolid indifference or a thinly
+veiled implication that I was grossly insulting them by my minute
+directions. Both myself and my voice were pretty well used up before I
+realized that my work had been wasted, my good intentions damned, that I
+had not been the leaven that could lighten the lump of stupid
+self-satisfaction we call the 'profession'; and I took solemn oath to
+myself never again to volunteer any advice, any suggestion, any hint as
+to reading, or business, or make-up to man or woman in any play of mine.
+If they acted well, all right; if they acted ill, all right too. If I
+found them infernal sticks, I'd leave them sticks. I'd demand just one
+thing, my _cue_. As long as I got the word to speak on, all the rest
+might go to the devil! Rehearsals shortened, actors had plenty of time
+for beer and pretzels; and as I ceased to try to improve their work, they
+soon called me a good fellow. And now you come along, willing to work,
+knowing more than some of your elders, yet actually believing there is
+still something for you to learn. Ambitious, keenly observant, you tempt
+me to teach you some business for this part, and yet if I do I suppose
+what goes in at one ear will go out of the other!"
+
+Embarrassed silence on my part.
+
+"Well," he went on, whimsically, "I see this is not your day for making
+protestations, but I'm going to give you the business, and if you choose
+to ignore it at night--why, that will serve me right for breaking my
+promise."
+
+"Mr. Davenport," I said, "I always try to remember what is told me, and I
+don't see why I should not remember what you say; goodness knows you
+speak plainly enough," at which, to my troubled surprise, everyone, star
+and all, burst out laughing, but presently he returned to the play.
+
+"See here," he said, "you, the adventuress, are worsted in this scene.
+You sit at the table. I have forced you to sign this paper, yet you say
+to me: 'You are a fool!' Now, how are you going to say it?"
+
+"I don't know yet," I answered, "I have not heard the whole play
+through."
+
+"What's that got to do with it?" he asked, sharply.
+
+"Why," I said, "I don't know the story--I don't know whether she is
+really your enemy, or only injures you on impulse; whether she truly
+loves anyone, or only makes believe love."
+
+"Good!" he cried, "good! that is sound reasoning. Well, you _are_ my
+enemy, you love no one, so you see your 'fool' is given with genuine
+feeling. It's years since the line has drawn fire, but you do this
+business, and see. You sit, I stand at the opposite side of the table.
+You write your name--you are supposed to be crushed. I believe it and
+tower triumphantly over you. The audience believes it too. Now you lay
+down your pen--but carefully, mind you, carefully; then close the
+inkstand, and with very evident caution place it out of danger of a fall.
+Be sure you take your time, there are places where deliberation is as
+effective as ever rush and hurry can be. Then with your cheek upon your
+hand, or your chin on your clasped hands--any attitude you fancy will
+do--look at me good and long, and _then_ speak your line. Have you
+thought yet how to deliver it?"
+
+"Well," I answered, hesitatingly, "to call you a fool in a colloquial
+tone would make people laugh, I think, and--and the words don't fit a
+declamatory style. I should think a rather low tone of sneering contempt
+would be best," and he shouted loudly: "You've hit it square on the head!
+Now let's see you do it to-night. Don't look so frightened, my girl, only
+take your time, don't hurry. I've got to stand there till you speak, if
+you take all night. Be deliberate; you see, you have played all the rest
+so fiercely fast, the contrast will tell."
+
+The night came. Cornered, check-mated, I slowly signed the paper, wiped
+the pen, closed the inkstand, and set it aside. He stood like a statue.
+The silence reached the house. I stretched out my arms and rested my
+crossed hands lightly on the table. I met his glance a moment, then, with
+a curling lip, let my eyes sweep slowly down length of body to boot-tip
+and back again, rose slowly, made a little "pouf" with lips and wave of
+hand, and contemptuously drawled: "My friend, you are a fool!" while,
+swift and sharp, came the applause Mr. Davenport at least had
+anticipated. The act ended almost immediately, and I hurried to him,
+crying: "Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Davenport. I never, never could have
+found applause in a speech like that."
+
+"Ah, it was the business, child, not the speech. Always try to find good
+business."
+
+"Suit the action to the word?" I laughed.
+
+"Yes," he answered, "and remember, Miss, actions speak louder than words,
+too! But, my dear, it's a comfort to teach you anything; and when I saw
+you trying so carefully to follow directions to-night, I swear I almost
+prayed for the applause you were so honestly earning. You are a brick, my
+girl! oh, I don't mean one of those measly little common building
+bricks--I mean a great lovely Roman tile!"
+
+And when, in God's good time, success came to me, as I entered the
+green-room at the Fifth Avenue one evening, a tall man in a gray suit
+released himself from a bevy of pretty women, and coming over to me, held
+out his hands, saying: "Did I ever make any remarks to you about building
+materials?" and, laughingly, I answered: "Yes, sir, you said something
+about bricks some years ago."
+
+And while I ran away to change, he called after me: "Say, 'Jones's Baby'
+isn't on to-night, is it?" and immediately began to tell about _Emilia_,
+and such is the power of imagination that he declared "She raged up and
+down behind the scenes crying 'Murder,' till the very house broke loose,
+and _right through all the pealing of the bells high and clear, you heard
+her voice topping everything_!"
+
+I was resting and getting breath while the bell clanged, remember, but so
+much for human memory.
+
+It is strange how often the merest accident or the utterance of a chance
+word may harden wavering intentions into a fixed resolve. Though I am not
+aggressive, there is in me a trace of bull-dog tenacity, made up of
+patient endurance and sustained effort. Rather slow to move, when I am
+aroused I simply _cannot_ let go my hold while breath is in me, unless I
+have had my will, have attained my object.
+
+Perhaps people may wonder why I retained my anomalous position in that
+theatre--why I did not follow the advice of some of the lady stars, who
+gave me a kindly thought and word now and then. And at the risk of giving
+them a poor opinion of my wisdom, I present the reason that actuated me.
+One day at rehearsal, while waiting for the stage to be reset, several of
+the actresses gossiped about theatrical matters. One had a letter from a
+friend who announced her advance to "first walking lady," which turned
+the talk to promotion generally, and laughingly she asked me: "What line
+of business shall you choose, Clara, when your turn comes?" but before I
+could reply, the eldest woman present sneered: "Oh, she can save herself
+the trouble of choosing; if she's ever advanced it will be in some other
+city than this."
+
+I was astonished; I had just made one of my small hits, and had a nice
+little notice in the paper, but it did not occur to me that _envy_ could
+sustain itself, keeping warm and strong and bitter on such slight
+nourishment as that. And then, she of the letter, answered: "Why, Clara's
+getting along faster than anyone else in the company, and I shall expect
+to see her playing leading business before so very many seasons pass by."
+
+"Leading business here?" cried the other, "I guess not!"
+
+"Oh," laughed the first, "I see, you mean that Mrs. Ellsler will claim
+the leading parts as long as she lives? Well, then, I shall expect to see
+Clara playing the leading juveniles."
+
+"Well, you go right on expecting, and your hair will be as gray as mine
+is, when she gets into any line of business in this town!"
+
+Unspeakably wounded, I asked, timidly: "But if I work hard and learn to
+act well, can't I hold a position as well as anyone else?"
+
+She looked contemptuously at me, and then answered: "No, you must be a
+fool if you suppose that after standing about in the ballet for months on
+end that Cleveland will ever accept you in a respectable line of
+business. You've got to go to some other place, where you are not known,
+and then come back as a stranger, if you want to be accepted here."
+
+A dull anger began to burn in me--there was something so suggestive of
+shame in the words, "Some other place, where you are not known." I had
+nothing to hide. I could work, and by and by I should be able to act as
+well as any of them--better perhaps. I felt my teeth come together with a
+snap, the bull-dog instinct was aroused. I looked very steadily at the
+sneering speaker and said: "I shall never leave this theatre till I am
+leading woman." And they all laughed, but it was a promise, and all these
+provoking years I was by way of keeping it. The undertaking was hard,
+perhaps it was foolish, but of the group of women who laughed at me that
+day every one of them lived to see my promise kept to the letter. When I
+left Cleveland it was to go as leading woman to Cincinnati, one season
+before I entered New York.
+
+But after I had at last escaped the actual ballet, and was holding a
+recognized position, I was still treated quite _en haut--en bas_ by the
+management. Mr. and Mrs. Ellsler had acquired the old-shoe habit. I was
+the easy old dramatic slipper, which it was pleasant to slip on so
+easily, but doubly pleasant to be able to shake off without effort.
+
+That you may thoroughly understand, I will explain that I was an
+excellent _Amelia_ in "The Robbers" when a rather insignificant star
+played the piece, but when a Booth or some star of like magnitude
+appeared as _Charles de Moor_, then the easy slipper was dropped off, and
+Mrs. Ellsler herself played _Amelia_. Any part belonging to me by right
+could be claimed by that lady, if she fancied it, and if she wearied of
+it, it came back to me. When we acted in the country in the summer-time,
+at Akron or Canton, where there were real theatres, she played
+_Parthenia_ or _Pauline_ in the "Lady of Lyons," or any other big part;
+but if the next town was smaller, I played _Parthenia_ or _Pauline_ or
+what not. Because I had once been in the ballet I had become an old pair
+of dramatic slippers, to be slipped on or kicked off at will--rather
+humiliating to the spirit, but excellent training for the growing
+actress, and I learned much from these queer "now-you're-in-it and now
+you're-not-in-it" sort of casts, and having much respect and admiration
+for Mr. Ellsler, I fortunately followed in his wake, rather than in that
+of any woman. He was one of the most versatile of actors. _Polonius_ or
+_Dutchy_ (the opposite to Chanfrau's _Mose_), crying old men or broad
+farce-comedy old men. Often he doubled _King Duncan_ and _Hecate_ in
+"Macbeth," singing any of the witches when a more suitable _Hecate_ was
+on hand--acquainted with the whole range of the "legitimate," his
+greatest pleasure was in acting some "bit" that he could elaborate into a
+valuable character. I remember the "switch-man" in "Under the
+Gaslight"--it could not have been twenty lines long, yet he made of him
+so cheery, so jolly, so kindly an old soul, everyone was sorry when he
+left the stage. He always had a good notice for the work, and a hearty
+reception ever after the first night. It was from him I learned my
+indifference to the length of my parts. The value of a character cannot
+always be measured by the length and number of its speeches, but I think
+the only word of instruction he ever gave me was: "Speak loud--speak
+distinctly," which was certainly good as far as it went. He was the most
+genial of men, devotedly fond of children, he was "Uncle John" to them
+all, and while never famous for the size of the salaries he paid, he was
+so good a friend to his people that he often had trouble in making
+desirable changes, and the variegated and convoluted falsehoods he
+invented in order to get rid of one excessively bad old actor with an
+affectionate heart, who wished to stay at a reduced salary, must lay
+heavy on his conscience to this hour.
+
+I used to wonder why he had never taken to starring, but he said he had
+not had enough self-assertion. He was a hard-working man, but he seemed
+to lack resolution. He had opinions--not convictions. He was always
+second in his own theatre--often letting "I dare not wait upon I would."
+After years of acquaintanceship, not to say friendship, when my ambition
+had been aroused, and I turned hopeful eyes toward New York, Mr. Ellsler
+opposed me bitterly, telling me I must be quite mad to think that the
+metropolis would give me a hearing. He said many pleasant and encouraging
+things, or wrote them, since I was in Cincinnati then. Among them I find:
+"The idea of your acting in New York; why, better actresses than you are,
+or can ever hope to be, have been driven broken-hearted from its stage.
+Do you suppose you could tie the shoe of Eliza Logan, one of the greatest
+actresses that ever lived--but yet not good enough for New York? How
+about Julia Dean, too? Go East, and be rejected, and then see what
+manager will want you in the West."
+
+Verily not an encouraging friend. Again I find: "Undoubtedly you are the
+strongest, the most original, and the youngest leading lady in the
+profession--but why take any risk? why venture into New York, where you
+may fail? at any rate, wait _ten years_, till you are surer of yourself."
+
+Good heavens! If I was original and strong in the West, why should I wait
+ten years before venturing into the East?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-FOURTH
+
+  I recall the Popularity and too Early Death of Edwin Adams.
+
+
+I hear many tales of the insolence of stars--of their overbearing
+manners, and their injustice to "little people," as the term goes; but
+personally I have seen almost nothing of it. In the old days stars were
+generally patient and courteous in their manners to the supporting
+companies.
+
+Among the stars whose coming was always hailed with joy was Edwin Adams,
+he of the golden voice, he who should have prayed with fervor, both day
+and night: "Oh, God! protect me from my friends!" He was so popular with
+men, they sought him out, they followed him, and they generally expressed
+their liking through the medium of food and drink. Like every other
+sturdy man that's worth his salt, he could stand off an enemy, but he was
+as weak as water in the hands of a friend, and thus it came about that he
+often stood in slippery places, and though he fell again and again, yet
+was he forgiven as often as he sinned, and heartily welcomed back the
+next season, so great was his power to charm.
+
+He was not handsome, he was not heroic in form, but there was such dash
+and go, such sincerity and naturalness in all his work, that whether he
+was love-making or fighting, singing or dying, he convinced you he was
+the character's self, whether that character was the demented victim of
+the _Bastille_, young _Rover_ in "Wild Oats," or that most gallant
+gentleman _Mercutio_, in which no greater ever strode than that of Edwin
+Adams. His buoyancy of spirit, his unconquerable gayety made it seem but
+natural his passion for jesting should go with him to the very grave.
+Many a fine _Mercutio_ gives:
+
+      "----a plague o' both your houses!"
+
+with a resentful bitterness that implies blame to _Romeo_ for his "taking
+off," which would be a most cruel legacy of grief and remorse to leave to
+his young friend--but Adams was that brave _Mercutio_:
+
+      "That gallant spirit that aspired the clouds,
+      Which too untimely here did scorn the earth."
+
+and whose last quips, coming faintly across paling lips, expressed still
+good-natured fun, and so:
+
+      "----a plague o' both your houses!"
+
+but no blame at all.
+
+His grace of movement and his superb voice were his greatest gifts. Most
+stars had one rather short play which they reserved for Saturday nights,
+that they might be able to catch their night train _en route_ for the
+next engagement; so it happened that Mr. Adams, having bravely held
+temptation from him during the first five nights, generally yielded to
+the endearments of his friends by the sixth, and was most anyone but
+himself when he came to dress for the performance of a play most
+suggestively named: "The Drunkard." It was a painful and a humiliating
+sight to see him wavering uncertainly in the entrance. All brightness,
+intelligence, and high endeavor extinguished by liquor's murky fog. His
+apologies were humble and evidently sincere, but the sad memory was one
+not to be forgotten.
+
+I had just married, and we were in San Francisco. I was rehearsing for my
+engagement there. The papers said Mr. Adams had arrived from Australia
+and had been carried on a stretcher to a hotel, where, with his devoted
+wife by his side, he lay dying. A big lump rose in my throat, tears
+filled my eyes. I asked my husband, who had greatly admired the actor,
+and who was glad to pay him any courtesy or service possible, to call,
+leave cards, and if he saw Mrs. Adams, which was improbable, to try to
+coax her out for a drive, if but for half an hour, and to deliver a
+message of remembrance and sympathy from me to her husband. To his
+surprise, he was admitted by the dying man's desire to his room, where
+the worn, weary, self-contained, ever gently smiling wife sat and, like
+an automaton, fanned hour by hour, softly, steadily fanned breath between
+those parched lips, that whispered a gracious message of congratulation
+and thanks.
+
+Mrs. Adams never left him, scarce took her eyes from him. Poor wife! who
+knew she could hold him but a few hours longer.
+
+My husband was deeply moved, and when he tried to describe to me that
+wasted frame--those helpless hands, whose faintly twitching fingers could
+no longer pluck at the folded sheet, my mind obstinately refused to
+accept the picture, and instead, through a blur of tears, I saw him as on
+that last morning, when in his prime, strong and gentle, at his rehearsal
+of "Enoch Arden," he said to me: "I am disappointed to the very heart,
+Clara, that you are not my _Annie Lee_."
+
+He took his hat off, he drew his hand across his eyes. "I can't find
+her," he said, with that touch of pathos that made his voice
+irresistible; "no, I have not found her yet--they are not innocent and
+brave! They are bouncing, buxom creatures or they are whimpering little
+milk-sops. They are never fisher-maidens, flower-pure, yet strong as the
+salt of the sea! She loved them both, Clara, yet she was no more weak nor
+bad than when, with childish lips, she innocently promised to be 'a
+little wife to both' the angry lads--to Philip and young Enoch! Now your
+eyes are sea-eyes, and your voice--oh, I am disappointed! I thought I
+should find my _Annie_ here!"
+
+And so I see him now as I think with tender sorrow of the actor who was
+so strong and yet so weak--dear Ned Adams!
+
+When Mr. Joseph Jefferson came to us I found his acting nothing less than
+a revelation. Here, in full perfection, was the style I had feebly,
+almost blindly been reaching for. This man, this poet of _comedy_, as he
+seemed to me, had so perfectly wedded nature to art that they were indeed
+one. Here again I found the immense value of "business" the most minute,
+the worth of restraint, if you had power to restrain, and learned that
+his perfect naturalness was the result of his exquisite art in cutting
+back and training nature's too great exuberance.
+
+I was allowed to play _Meenie_, his daughter, in the play of "Rip Van
+Winkle," and my delight knew no bounds. He was very gentle and kind, he
+gave me pleasant words of praise for my work; he was very great, and--and
+his eyes were fine, and I approved of his chin, too, and I was, in fact,
+rapidly blending the actor and the man in one personality. In the last
+act, when kneeling at his feet, during our long wait upon the stage, I
+knelt and adored! and he--oh, Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Jefferson, that I should
+say it, but _did_ you not hold my fingers unnecessarily close when you
+made some mild little remarks that were not in the play, but which filled
+my breast with quite outrageous joy, and pride--indeed, my crop of young
+affections, always rather a sparse growth, came very near being gathered
+into a small sheaf and laid at your feet.
+
+Fortunately, I learned in time that there was an almost brand-new wife in
+the hotel next door, and I looked at him with big, reproachful eyes and
+kept my fingers to myself, and wisely put off the harvesting of my
+affections until some distant day.
+
+Mind you, I was well within my rights in this matter. Girls always fall
+in love with stars--some fall in love with all of them, but that must be
+fatiguing; besides, as I said before, my affections were of such sparse
+growth they could not go round. Yet since I could honor thus but one
+star, I must say I look back with complete approval upon my early choice,
+and the shock to my heart did not prevent me from treasuring up some
+kindly words of advice from the artist-actor anent the making-up of eyes
+for the stage.
+
+Said he to me one evening: "My girl, I want to speak to you about that
+'make-up' you have on your eyes."
+
+"Yes, sir?" I answered, interrogatively, feeling very hot and
+uncomfortable, "have I too much on?"
+
+"Well, yes," he said, "I think you have, though you have much less than
+most women wear."
+
+"Oh, yes," I hurriedly interposed, "there was a French dancer here who
+covered nearly a third of her eyelids with a broad blue-black band of
+pomatum, and she said----"
+
+"Oh," he protested, "I know, she said it made the eyes large and
+lustrous, and as you see yourself in the glass it does seem to have that
+effect; but, by the way, what do you think of my eyes?"
+
+And with truth and promptness, I made answer: "I think they're lovely."
+
+My unexpected candor proved rather confusing, for for a moment he
+"Er-er-erd," and finally said: "I meant as a feature of acting, they are
+good acting eyes, aren't they? Well, you don't find _them_ made up, do
+you? Now listen to me, child, always be guided as far as possible by
+nature. When you make up your face, you get powder on your eyelashes,
+nature made them dark, so you are free to touch the lashes themselves
+with ink or pomade, but you should not paint a great band about your eye,
+with a long line added at the corner to rob it of every bit of
+expression. And now as to the beauty this lining is supposed to bring,
+some night when you have time I want you to try a little experiment. Make
+up your face carefully, darken your brows and the lashes of one eye; as
+to the other eye, you must load the lashes with black pomade, then draw a
+black line beneath the eye, and a broad line on its upper lid, and a
+final line out from the corner. The result will be an added lustre to the
+made-up eye, a seeming gain in brilliancy; but now, watching your
+reflection all the time, move slowly backward from the glass, and an odd
+thing will happen, that made-up eye will gradually grow smaller and
+smaller, until, at a distance much less than that of the auditorium, it
+will really look more like a round black hole than anything else, and
+will be absolutely without expression. You have an admirable stage
+eye--an actor's eye, sensitive, expressive, well opened, it's a pity to
+spoil it with a load of blacking."
+
+And I said, gratefully: "I'll never do it again, sir," and I never have,
+first from respect to a great actor's opinion, and gratitude for his
+kindly interest, later having tried his experiment, from the conviction
+that he was right, and finally because my tears would have sent inky
+rivulets down my cheeks had I indulged in black-banded eyes. So in all
+these years of work, just once, in playing a tricky, treacherous,
+plotting female, that I felt should be a close-eyed, thin-lipped
+creature, I have painted and elongated my eyes, otherwise I have kept my
+promise "not to do it again."
+
+I met Mr. Jefferson in Paris at that dreadful time when he was threatened
+with blindness, and I never shall forget his gentle patience, his
+marvelous courage. That was a day of real rejoicing to me, when the news
+came that his sight was saved. Blindness coming upon any man is a horror,
+but to a man who can see nature as Joseph Jefferson sees her it would
+have been an almost incredible cruelty.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-FIFTH
+
+  I See an Actress Dethroned--I Make Myself a Promise, for the World Does
+  Move.
+
+
+To be discarded by the public, that is the _bete noire_, the
+unconquerable dread and terror of the actor. To fail in the great
+struggle for supremacy is nothing compared to the agony of falling after
+the height has once been won.
+
+Few people can think of the infamous casting down of the great column
+Vendome without a shiver of pain--the smashing of the memorial tablet,
+the shattering of the statue, these are sights to shrink from, yet what
+does such shrinking amount to when compared to the pain of seeing a human
+being thrust from the sunlight of public popularity into the darkness of
+obscurity?
+
+I was witness once to the discrowning of an actress, and if I could
+forget the anguish of her eyes, the pallor beneath her rouge, I would be
+a most grateful woman.
+
+She had been handsome in her prime, handsome in the regular-featured,
+statuesque fashion so desirable for an actress of tragic parts; but Mrs.
+P---- (for I shall call her only by that initial, as it seems to me that
+naming her fully would be unkind) had reached, yes, had passed, middle
+age and had wandered far into distant places, had known much sorrow, and,
+alas, for her, had not noticed that her profession, like everything
+alive, like the great God-made world itself, moved, moved, moved! So not
+noticing, she, poor thing, stood still in her method of work, loyally
+doing her best in the style of acting that had been so intensely admired
+in her triumphant youth.
+
+She had most successfully starred in Cleveland years before, but at the
+time I speak of she was returning from distant parts, widowed and poor,
+yet quite, quite confident of her ability to please the public, and with
+plans all made to star two, possibly three, years, long enough to secure
+a little home and tiny income, when she would retire gracefully from the
+sight of the regretful public. Meantime she entreated Mr. Ellsler, if
+possible, to give her an engagement, that she might earn money enough to
+carry her to New York and see the great agents there.
+
+By some unlooked-for chance the very next week was open, and rather
+tremulously as manager, but kind-heartedly as man, Mr. Ellsler engaged
+her for that week.
+
+The city was billed accordingly: "Mrs. P----, the Queen of
+Tragedy!"--"The celebrated Mrs. P----, Cleveland's great
+favorite!"--"Especial engagement of Mrs. P----!" etc., etc.
+
+I had a tiny part in the old Grecian tragedy she opened in. I came early,
+as was my wont, and when dressed went out to look at the house--good
+heavens! I gasped. Poor? it was worse than poor. Bad? it was worse than
+bad. My heart sank for her as I recalled how, that morning, she had
+asked, with a little nonchalant air of: "It doesn't really matter, of
+course, but do the people here throw their flowers still, or do they send
+them up over the footlights?" Flowers? Oh, poor Mrs. P----!
+
+The overture had ended before she came out of her dressing-room, so she
+had no warning of what the house was like. She was all alight with
+pleasant anticipation. At a little distance she looked remarkably well;
+her Grecian robes hung gracefully, her hair was arranged and filleted
+correctly and becomingly, her movements were assured; only looking at the
+deeply drawn lines about her mouth, made one regret that her opening
+speeches referred so distinctly to her "dewy youth"; but Cleveland was
+well used to that sort of contradiction, and I might have taken heart of
+grace for her if only she had not looked so very pleased and happy.
+
+The opening scene of the old-fashioned play was well on when the star
+appeared, and smiling graciously--faced the almost empty house. She
+halted--she gave the sort of sudden gasp that a dash of icy water in the
+face might cause. The humiliating half-dozen involuntary hand-claps that
+had greeted her fell into silence as she came fully into view, where she
+stood dismayed, stricken--for she was an old actress and she read the
+signs aright, she knew this was the great _taboo_.
+
+Her face whitened beneath her rouge, her lips moved silently. One moment
+she turned her back squarely upon the audience, for she knew her face was
+anguished, and moved by the same instinct that makes an Indian draw the
+blanket across his dying face, or the wounded animal seek deepest
+solitude, she sought to hide _her_ suffering from the coldly observant
+few.
+
+With the light stricken from her eyes they looked dull and sunken, while
+every nerve and muscle of her poor face seemed a-quiver. It was a
+dreadful moment for us who looked on and understood.
+
+Presently she clinched her hands, drew a long breath, and facing about,
+took up the burden of the play, and in cold, flat tones began her part.
+She did her best in the old, stilted declamatory style, that was as dead
+as many of the men and women were who used to applaud it. Once only the
+audience warmed to her a trifle, and as she accepted their half-hearted
+"call," her sad eyes roved over the empty spaces of the house, a faint,
+tired smile touched her lips, while two great tears coursed down her
+cheeks. It was the moment of renunciation! They denied her right to the
+crown of popularity, and she, with that piteous smile, bowed to their
+verdict, as an actress must.
+
+At the curtain's final fall her stardom was over. She went very quietly
+to Mr. Ellsler and gave him back the engagement he had granted her,
+saying, simply: "They do not want me any longer."
+
+A short time after that, she sat one evening in Mr. Ellsler's family box,
+and with wide, astonished eyes gazed at the packed house which greeted
+the jig, the clog, the song, the banjo of Miss Lotta, whose innocent
+deviltries were bringing her a fortune, and when, in response to a
+"call," instead of appearing, Miss Lotta thrust her foot and ankle out
+beyond the curtain and wriggled them at the delighted crowd, poor Mrs.
+P---- drew her hand across her forehead and said, in bewildered tones:
+"But--I don't understand!"
+
+No, she could not understand, and Miss Lotta had not yet faced New York,
+hence John Brougham, the witty, wise, and kindly Irish gentleman, had not
+yet had his opportunity of summing up the brilliant and erratic star, as
+he did later on in these words: "Act, acting, actress? what are you
+thinking of? she's no actress, she's--why, she's a little dramatic
+cocktail!" which was a delicious Broughamism and truthful withal.
+
+But that sad night, when Mrs. P---- first set her feet in the path of
+obscurity, I took to myself a lesson, and said: "While I live, I will
+move. I will not stand still in my satisfaction, should success ever come
+to me--but will try to keep my harness bright by action, in at least an
+effort to keep abreast with the world, for verily, verily, it does
+move!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-SIXTH
+
+  Mr. Lawrence Barrett the Brilliant and his Brother Joseph the
+  Unfortunate.
+
+
+There were few stars with whom I took greater pleasure in acting than
+with Mr. Lawrence Barrett. I sometimes wonder if even now this profession
+really knows what great reason it has to be proud of him. He was a man
+respected by all, admired by many, and if loved but by few, theirs was a
+love so profound and so tender it amply sufficed.
+
+We are a censorious people, and just as our greatest virtue is generosity
+in giving, so our greatest fault is the eagerness with which we seek out
+the mote in our neighbor's eye, without feeling the slightest desire for
+the removal of the beam in our own eye. Thus one finds that the first and
+clearest memory actors have of Mr. Barrett is of his irascible temper and
+a certain air of superiority, not of his erudition, of the high position
+he won socially as well as artistically, of the almost Titanic struggle
+of his young manhood with adverse circumstances.
+
+Nor does that imply the slightest malice on their part. Actors, as a
+family trait, have a touch of childishness about them which they come by
+honestly enough. We all know the farther we get from infancy the weaker
+the imagination grows. Now it is imagination that makes the man an actor,
+so it is not wonderful if with the powerful creative fancy of childhood
+he should also retain a touch of its petulance and self-consciousness.
+Thus to many actors Mr. Barrett's greatness is lost sight of in the
+memory of some dogmatic utterance or sharp reproval that wounded
+self-love.
+
+It would seem like presumption for me to offer any word of praise for the
+artistic work of his later years; the world remembers it; the world
+knows, too, how high he climbed, how secure was his position; but twice I
+have heard the stories of his earlier years--some from the lips of his
+brave wife, once from the lips of that beloved brother Joe, who was yet
+his dread and sorrow--and at each telling my throat ached at the pain of
+it, while my nerves thrilled with admiration for such endurance, such
+splendid determination.
+
+A paradox is, I believe, something seemingly absurd, yet true in fact. In
+that case I was not so very far wrong, in spite of general laughter,
+when, after my first rehearsal with him, I termed Mr. Barrett a man of
+cold enthusiasm. "But," one cried to me, "you stupid--that's a paradox!
+don't you see your words contradict each other?"
+
+"Well," I answered, with shame-faced obstinacy, "perhaps they do, but
+they are not contradicted by _him_. You all call him icy-cold, and _I_
+know he is truly enthusiastic over the possibilities of this play, so
+that makes what I call cold enthusiasm, however par-a-paradoxy (?) _it_
+sounds."
+
+And now, after all the years, I can approve that childish judgment. He
+was a man whose intellectual enthusiasm was backed by a cold
+determination that would never let him say "die" while he had breath in
+his body and a stage to rehearse on.
+
+I have a miserable memory for names, and often in the middle of a remark
+the name I intended to mention will pass from my remembrance utterly; so,
+all my life, I have had the very bad habit of trying to make my hearers
+understand whom I meant by imitating or mentioning some trait peculiar to
+the nameless one, and I generally succeeded.
+
+As, for instance, when I wished to tell whom I had seen taking away a
+certain book, I said: "It was Mr.--er--er, oh, you know, Mr.--er, why
+this man," and I pulled in my head like a turtle and hitched up my
+shoulders to my ears, and the anxious owner cried: "Oh, Thompson has it,
+has he?" Thompson having, so far as _we_ could see, no neck at all--my
+pantomime suggested his name.
+
+Everyone can recall the enormous brow of Mr. Barrett, and how beneath his
+great, burning eyes his cheeks hollowed suddenly in, thinning down to his
+sensitive mouth. I was on the stage in New Orleans, the first morning of
+my engagement there (I was under Mr. Daly's management, but he had loaned
+me for a fortnight), and I started out with: "Mr. Daly said to please ask
+Mr.----," away went the name--goodness gracious, should I forget my own
+name next!
+
+The stage manager suggested: "Mr. Rogers."
+
+"No, oh, no! I mean Mr.--er--er," and I trailed off helplessly.
+
+"Mr. Seymour?" offered a lady.
+
+"No, no! that's not it!" I cried; "why, goodness mercy me! you all know
+whom I mean--the--the actor with the _hungry eyes_?"
+
+"Oh, Barrett!" they shouted, all save one voice, that with a mighty laugh
+cried out: "That's my brother Larry, God bless him! no one could miss
+that description, for sure he looks as hungry to-day as ever he did when
+he felt hungry to his heart's core!"
+
+And so it was that I first met poor Joe Barrett, who worshipped the
+brother whose sore torment he was. For this great, broad-shouldered,
+ruddy-faced fellow with the boyish laugh had ever in his veins the
+craving for liquor--that awful inherited appetite that can nullify prayer
+and break down the most fixed determination.
+
+"Ah!" he cried to me, "no one, no one can ever know how good Larry has
+been to me, for while he is fighting and struggling to rise, every little
+while some lapse of mine drags him back a bit. Yet he never casts me
+off--never disowns me. He has had to discharge me for the sake of
+discipline here, but he has re-engaged me. He has sent me away, but he
+has taken me back again. I promise, and fail to keep my promise. I fall,
+and he picks me up. Through the cursed papers I have dragged my brother
+through the mud, but the sweet Saviour could hardly forgive me more fully
+than Larry does, for, look you, he never forgets that I am the son of my
+father, who was accursed before me, while he is the son of our poor
+mother--blessed be her name! It isn't that I don't try. I keep straight
+until the agony of longing begins to turn into a mad desire to do bodily
+harm to someone--anyone, and then, fearing worse, I drink my fill, and
+the papers find me out, and are not content to tell of the disgraceful
+condition of Joseph Barrett, but must add, always, 'the brother of the
+prominent actor, Mr. Lawrence Barrett.' Poor Larry! poor little delicate
+chap that he used to be, with his big, brainy head--too heavy for his
+weak neck and frail body to carry."
+
+And then he told me of their sorrowful life, their poverty. The
+often-idle father and his dislike for the delicate boy, whose only moment
+of happiness was when the weary mother, the poor supper over, sat for a
+little to breathe and rest, and held his heavy head upon her loving
+breast, while Joe sang his songs or told all the happenings of the day.
+
+That happy Joe, who had no pride and was quite as satisfied without a
+seat to his small trousers as with one! Then he told me how hard it was
+for Lawrence to learn; how he had to grind and grind at the simplest
+lesson, but once having acquired it, it was his for life.
+
+"Why, even now," said he, "in confidence I'm telling you, my brother is
+studying like a little child at French, and it does seem that he cannot
+learn it. He works so desperately over it, a doctor has warned him he
+must choose between French and his many 'parts' or break down from
+overwork. But he _will_ go on hammering at his _parlez-vous_ until he
+learns them or dies trying."
+
+"If you were to live with your brother, might not that help to keep you
+strong?" I asked.
+
+"Now, my dear little woman," he smiled, "Larry is human, in some
+respects, if he is almost God-like toward me. Remember he has a young
+family now, and though his wife is as good as gold and always patient
+with me, I am not the kind of example a man would care to place before
+his little ones, and as Lawrence is devoured with ambition for them and
+their future, he rightly guards them from too close contact with the drag
+and curse of his own life, in whom he, and he alone, can see the sturdy
+tow-headed brother of the old boyish days, who saved him from many and
+many a kick and thump his delicate body could ill have borne."
+
+Joe told me of his dead wife--Viola Crocker that was--the niece of Mrs.
+Bowers and Mrs. Conway; of their happiness and their misery. Describing
+himself as having been "in heaven or in hell--without any betwixts and
+betweens." His devotion to me was very great. He was "hard-up" for money,
+as the men express it, but he would manage to bring me a single rose or
+one bunch of grapes or a half-dozen mushrooms or some such small offering
+every day; and learning of his bitter mortification because he could not
+hire a carriage to take me out to see the curious old French cemetery, I
+made him supremely happy by expressing a desire to ride in one of those
+funny bob-tailed, mule-drawn street-cars--the result being a trip by my
+mother, Mr. Barrett, and myself to the famous cemetery.
+
+I don't know that I ever heard anyone sing Irish and Scottish ballads
+more tenderly, more pathetically than did Joe Barrett, and as my mother
+was very fond of old songs, he used to sit and sing one after another for
+her. That day there was no one in the crawling little car but we three,
+and presently he began to sing. But, oh, what was it that he sang? Irish,
+unmistakably--a lament, rising toward its close into the _keen_ of some
+clan. It wrung the very heart.
+
+"Don't!" I exclaimed. My mother's face was turned away, my throat ached,
+even Joe's eyes had filled. "What is it?" I asked.
+
+"I don't know its name," he answered, "I have always put it on programmes
+as 'A Lament.' I learned it from an Irish emigrant-lad, who was from the
+North, and who was dying fast from consumption and home-hunger. Is not
+that wail chilling? As he gave the song it seemed like a message from the
+dying."
+
+At the end of our stroll among the flowers and trees and past those
+strange stone structures that look so like serious-minded bake-ovens,
+having to wait for a car, we sat on a stone bench, and in that quiet city
+of the dead Joe's voice rose, tenderly reverent, in that simple air that
+was yet an anguish of longing, followed by a wail for the dead.
+
+My mother wept silently. I said, softly: "It's a plaint and a farewell,"
+and Joe brought his eyes back from the great cross, blackly silhouetted
+against the flaming sky, and slowly said: "Beloved among women, it is a
+message--a message from the dying or the dead, believe that."
+
+And a time came when--well, when _almost_ I did believe that.
+
+Later on, when Mr. Barrett stood second only to Mr. Booth in his
+profession, well established, well off, well dressed, polished and
+refined of manner, aye, and genial, too, to those he liked, I came by
+accident upon a most gracious act of his and, following it up, found him
+deep in a conspiracy to deceive a stricken woman into receiving the aid
+her piteous determination to stand alone made impossible to offer openly.
+I looked at the generous, prosperous, intellectual, intensely active
+gentleman, surrounded by clever wife and the pretty, thoroughly educated
+daughters, who were chaperoned in all their walks to and from park or
+music-lesson or shopping-trip, and I wondered at the distance little
+"Larry," with the heavy head and frail body, had traveled, and bowed
+respectfully to such magnificent energy.
+
+Even then there arose a cry from the profession that Mr. Barrett was
+dictatorial, that he assumed airs of superiority. Mr. Barrett was
+wrapped up, soul and body, in the proper production of the play in hand.
+He was keenly observant and he was sensitive. When an actor had his mind
+fixed upon a smoke or a glass of beer, and cared not one continental
+dollar whether the play failed or succeeded, so long as he got his
+"twenty dollars per--," Mr. Barrett knew it, and became "dictatorial" in
+his effort to force the man into doing his work properly. I worked with
+him, both as a nobody and as somebody, and I know that an honest effort
+to comprehend and carry out his wishes was recognized and appreciated.
+
+As for his airs of superiority--well, the fact is he was superior to
+many. He was intellectual and he was a student to the day of his death.
+When work at the theatre was over he turned to study. He never was well
+acquainted with Tom and Dick, nor yet with Harry. His back fitted a
+lamp-post badly. He would not have known how "to jolly the crowd." He was
+not a full, voluminous, and ready story-teller for the boys, who called
+him cold and hard. God knows he had needed the coldness and the so-called
+hardness, or how could he have endured the privations of the long journey
+from his weary mother's side to this position of honor.
+
+Cold, hard, dictatorial, superior? Well, there is a weak lean-on-somebody
+sort of woman, who will love any man who will feed and shelter her--she
+doesn't count. But when a clear-minded, business-like, clever woman, a
+wife for many years, loves her husband with the tenderest sentiment and
+devotion, I'm ready to wager something that it was _tenderness_ and
+_devotion_ in the husband that first aroused like sentiments in the wife.
+
+Mrs. Barrett was shrewd, far-seeing, business-like--a devoted and
+watchful mother, but her love for her husband had still the freshness,
+the delicate sentiment of young wifehood. When she thought fit, she
+bullied him shamefully; when she thought fitter, she "guyed" him
+unmercifully. Think of that! And it was delightful to see the great,
+solemn-eyed personification of dignity smilingly accepting her buffets.
+
+But, oh, to hear that wife tell of the sorrows and trials they had faced
+together, of their absurd makeshifts, of their small triumphs over
+poverty, of Lawrence's steady advance in his profession, of that
+beautiful day when they moved into a little house all by themselves, when
+he became, as he laughingly boasted, "a householder, not a forlorn,
+down-trodden boarder!"
+
+Their family, besides themselves, then consisted of one little girl and
+Lawrence's beloved old mother, and he had a room to study in in peace,
+and the two women talked and planned endlessly about curtains and
+furniture, and--oh, well, about some more very small garments that would,
+God willing, be needed before a very great while. And one day Lawrence
+looked about his little table, and said: "It's too good, it can't last,
+it can't!" and the women kissed him and laughed at him; yet all the time
+he was right, it did not last. An awful bolt seemed to fall from the blue
+sky. It was one of those pitiful disasters that sometimes come upon the
+very old--particularly to those who have endured much, suffered much, as
+had the elder Mrs. Barrett in the past.
+
+I wept as I heard the story of the devoted son's dry-eyed agony, of the
+awful fears his condition aroused in the minds of those close to him, and
+then suddenly she, the wife, had been stricken down, and her danger and
+that of the tiny babe had brought him to his old self again.
+
+He worked on then for some months, grateful for the sparing of his dear
+ones, when quite suddenly and painlessly the stricken old mother passed
+from sleep to life everlasting. Then when Joseph was to be summoned--Joe
+who worshipped the mother's footprint in the dust--he was not to be
+found. He had fallen again into disgrace, had been discharged, had
+disappeared, no one knew whither.
+
+"Oh, dear Father!" cried Mrs. Barrett, "what did not Lawrence suffer for
+Joe! knowing what his agony would be when he knew all--but we could do no
+more. The funeral took place. White as marble, Lawrence sent us all
+home, and himself waited till the last clod of earth was piled upon the
+grave; then waited till the men had gone, waited to kneel and pray a
+moment before leaving the old mother there alone. And as he knelt he
+noted how nearly dark it was, and thought he must not linger long or the
+gates would be locked upon him. As he rose from his knees, he was
+startled to see, through the dusk, a tall form coming toward him. It
+would dodge behind a monument, and after a moment's pause would come a
+little nearer. Suddenly the drooping, lurching figure became familiar to
+him. With a groan he hid himself behind a tombstone and waited--waited
+until suspicion became certainty, and he knew that the bent, weary
+funeral guest was his brother, Joe!
+
+"He held his peace until the wanderer found his way along the darkening
+path to that pathetic stretch of freshly broken earth, where, with an
+exceeding bitter cry, he flung his arms above his head and fell all his
+length along the grave that held the sweetest and the holiest thing God
+had ever given him, an honest, loving mother, and clutched the damp clods
+in his burning hands, and gasped out: 'Oh, mother! I have hungered and I
+have tramped with the curse upon me, too; I have hungered and tramped so
+far, so far, hoping just to be in time to see your dear face once more,
+and now they've shut you away from me, from the bad boy you never turned
+your patient eyes away from! Oh, mother! whatever can I do without you,
+all alone! all alone!'
+
+"At that child-like cry from the broken man, prostrate on the grave,
+Lawrence Barrett's heart turned to water, and kneeling down he lifted to
+his breast the tear-blurred, drink-blemished face of his brother, and
+kissed him as his mother might have done. Thus they prayed together for
+the repose of the soul of their beloved, and then, with his arm about the
+wanderer, to steady his failing steps, Lawrence led him to his little
+home, and, as they entered, he turned and said: 'Joe, can't you take back
+those words, "all alone," can't you?' and Joe nodded his head, and
+throwing his arms about his brother's neck, answered: 'Never alone, while
+my little brother Larry lives and forgives!'"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVENTH
+
+  I play "Marie" to Oblige--Mr. Barrett's Remarkable Call--Did I Receive
+  a Message from the Dying or the Dead?
+
+
+From the time when, as a ballet-girl, I was called forward and given the
+part of _Marie_ in "The Marble Heart," a play Mr. Barrett was starring
+in, to the then distant day of that really splendid combination with Mr.
+Edwin Booth, I never saw the former when he was not burning with
+excitement over some production he had in mind, if not yet in rehearsal.
+Even in his sleep he saw perfect pictures of scenery not yet painted,
+just as before "Ganalon" he used to dream of sharp lance and gay pennon
+moving in serried ranks, of long lines of nobles and gentlemen who wore
+the Cross of the Crusader.
+
+His friends were among the highest of God's Aristocracy of Brains--'twas
+odd that sculptors, artists, poets, thinkers should strike hands with so
+"cold" a man and call him friend!
+
+I remember well the dismayed look that came upon his face when I was
+ordered from the ballet ranks to take the place of the lady--a hard,
+high-voiced soubrette, who was to have played _Marie_, had not a sore
+throat mercifully prevented her. But at my first "Thank you--I'd rather
+go--yonder--," pointing to the distant convent, his eyes widened,
+suddenly a sort of tremor came to his lips. He was at my side in an
+instant, telling me to indicate my convent as on the opposite side, so
+that my own attitude would be more picturesque to the audience. Between
+the acts he said to me: "Have you any opinion of _Marie_, Miss er--er?"
+
+"My name's 'just Clara,'" I kindly interjected.
+
+"Well," he smiled, "'just Clara,' have you formed any idea of this
+_Marie's_ character?"
+
+"Why," I answered, "to me she seems a perfect walking gratitude; in real
+life she would be rather dog-like, I'm afraid; but in the play she is
+just beautiful."
+
+He looked solemnly at me, and then he said: "And _you_ are just
+beautiful, too, for you are a little thinking actress. Now if you have
+the power of expressing what you think, do you know I am very honestly
+interested, 'just Clara,' in your share of to-night's work."
+
+The play went well as a whole, and as _Marie_ is one of the most tenderly
+pathetic creations conceivable, I sat and wept as I told her story; but
+imagine my amazement when, as Mr. Barrett bent over my hand, a great hot
+tear fell from his cheek upon it.
+
+"Oh, my girl," he said, when the play was over, "don't let anything on
+God's footstool dishearten you. Work! work! you have such power, such
+delicacy of expression with it--you _are Marie_, the little stupidly
+religious, dog-like 'Marie the resigned,' that you have renamed for me
+'Marie the grateful.'"
+
+When I was leading woman he wished to do that play for a single night. Of
+course _Marco_ belonged to me, but the big, handsome, cold-voiced second
+woman could well talk through _Marco_, while she would (artistically
+speaking) damn _Marie_. Mr. Barrett was very hungry-eyed, there was
+positive famine in them, as he mournfully said: "I would give a great
+deal to hear you tell _Marie's_ story again--to see you and your little
+bundle and bandaged foot. Such a clever touch that--that bandaged foot,
+no other _Marie_ dares do that; but you have turned your back on the
+'grateful one'; you can't afford to do her again."
+
+"Mr. Barrett," I asked, "do you wish me to play _Marie_ now?"
+
+"Do I wish it?" he echoed, "I wish it with all my heart, but I have no
+right to ask a sacrifice from you even if it would benefit the whole
+performance, as well as give me a personal pleasure."
+
+"If the manager does not object," I said, "I am quite willing to give up
+the leading part and play _Marie_ again."
+
+He held my hands, he fairly stammered for a moment, then he said: "You
+are an _artiste_ and a brave and generous girl. I shall remember this
+action of yours, 'just Clara,' always."
+
+The amazed manager, after some objection, having consented, I once more
+put on the rusty black gown, took my small bundle, and asked of the gay
+ladies from Paris my way to the convent, yonder--finding in the tears of
+the audience and the excellence of the general performance, full reward
+for playing second fiddle that evening.
+
+In my early married days, when the great coffee-urn was still a menace to
+my composure and dignity, at a little home-dinner, when Mr. William
+Black, the famous writer of Scottish novels, honored me by his presence
+on my right, Mr. Barrett on my left, moved, no one knows by what freak of
+memory, lifted his glass, and, speaking low, said: "'Just Clara,' your
+health!"
+
+I laughed a little, and was nodding back, when Mr. Black, who saw
+everything through those glasses of his, cried out: "Favoritism,
+favoritism! why, bless my heart, I drank your health ten minutes ago, and
+you never blushed a blush for me! And I am chief guest, and on the right
+hand of the hostess--explanations are now in order!"
+
+And Mr. Barrett said that he would explain on their way to the club,
+whereupon Mr. Black wrinkled up his nose delightedly, and said he
+"scented a story"--"and, oh," he cried, "it's the sweetest scent in the
+world, the most fascinating trail to follow!"
+
+But I was thankful that he did not hunt down his quarry then and there,
+for he could be as mischievous as a squirrel and as persistent as any
+_enfant terrible_, if he thought you were depriving him of a story.
+
+Though tears creep into my eyes at the same moment, yet must I laugh
+whenever I think of Mr. Barrett's last "call" upon me. We were
+unknowingly stopping in the same hotel. On the way to the dining-room for
+a bit of lunch, Mr. Harriott and Mr. Barrett met, exchanged greetings,
+and when the latter found I was not going to luncheon, and was moreover
+suffering from a most severe attack of neuralgia, he asked if he could
+not call upon me for a few moments.
+
+Mr. Harriott looked doubtful, and while he hesitated, Mr. Barrett hastily
+added: "Of course I shall merely say 'How do you do,' and express my
+sympathy, since I know something about neuralgia myself--that's all."
+
+Upon which they turned back, and Mr. Harriott ushered the unexpected, the
+spick-and-span caller into my presence, with the reassuring word: "Mr.
+Barrett is sparing a moment or two of his time, Clara, to express his
+sympathy for you."
+
+When a woman knows she is an "object," words of welcome for the
+unexpected visitor are apt to come haltingly from the tongue, and that I
+was an "object" no one can deny. A loose, pink dressing-gown was bad, a
+knit white shawl huddled about the shoulders was worse, but, oh, worst of
+all, my hair was all scrambled up to the top of my head (hair was dressed
+low then), and a broad handkerchief bandage concealed from the eye, but
+not from the nose, the presence of a remedial poultice of flour and
+brandy.
+
+Truly it is such acts as this that brings many a well-meaning but
+apparently demented husband into the divorce court. Now any friend,
+relative, or servant would have bravely but politely prevaricated to the
+last gasp rather than have admitted a caller to me in that state, but
+husbands have no discretion, husbands have no--well, that's too large a
+contract, so I'll keep to that call.
+
+I was aghast for a moment, but the warm pressure of Mr. Barrett's hand,
+his brightening eye gave me such an impression of sincerity in his
+pleased greeting that I forgot I was an "object," and asked him to sit
+down for a chat, as eagerly as though I had had all my war-paint on.
+
+We were soon exchanging memories of the past, and Mr. Harriott, having a
+business engagement ahead, excused himself and withdrew. Mr. Barrett,
+calling after him: "I'll join you in a moment," resumed his conversation.
+There still stood on the table a pot of tea and a plate holding two
+pieces of toast. They had been meant for my lunch, but neuralgia had the
+call, and lunch had been ignored; so, as we talked on and on, presently
+Mr. Barrett, seeing my bandage sliding down over my eyes, rose, and,
+without pausing in his rapid description of a certain picture he had seen
+abroad in its creator's studio, he passed behind me, tightened the knot
+of the handkerchief, put the sofa-pillow behind my head, a stool under my
+feet, and resumed his seat.
+
+Then I talked and talked, and grew excited, then thirsty. I drew the tray
+nearer and poured out a cup of tea.
+
+"Give me some," said Mr. Barrett, who was now telling me about a sitting
+of Parliament in London.
+
+"Let me order some that's fresh," I replied.
+
+"No, no!" he cried, impatiently, "that will be such an interruption--no,
+no!"
+
+I gave him then a cup of cold tea. Presently I broke off a bit of the
+stiff and repellant toast, with its chilled, pale gleam of butter, and
+nibbled it. His hand went forth and broke off a bit also. We were on a
+new poem then, and Mr. Barrett seemed thrilling to his fingertips with
+the delight of it. He repeated lines; I questioned his reading; we
+experimented, placing emphasis first on this word, then on that. We
+generally agreed, but we came an awful cropper over Gladstone.
+
+How fiercely we clashed over the grand old man those who knew Mr. Barrett
+will guess from the fact that during the fray he excitedly undid two
+buttons of his tight frock-coat. The ends of his white silk muffler now
+hung down his back, fluttering when he moved like a small pair of white
+wings. I have a recollection, too, of his rising, and, apparently
+unconscious of his act, lighting the gas, while he passionately demanded
+of me the reason why Dickens could not create a real woman.
+
+At last we came up hard and fast against _Hamlet_. The air was thick with
+stories. Part of the time we talked together in our eagerness. Mr.
+Barrett's coat was quite unbuttoned; the curl on his wide brow had grown
+as frizzly as any common curl might grow. Two round, red spots spread
+over his high cheek-bones, his eyes were hungrily glowing; he had just
+taken a long breath and made a start on an audience with the Pope, when
+Mr. Harriott entered and said: "I beg your pardon, Mr. Barrett, there's a
+man outside who is very anxiously inquiring for you."
+
+"For me?" exclaimed Mr. Barrett, with astonishment, "that's rather
+impertinent, it seems to me!"
+
+Suddenly he noticed the gas-light. He started violently, he pulled out
+his watch, then sprang to his feet, crying: "Good God! Harriott, that's
+my dresser looking for me--I ought to be in my dressing-room. What will
+Mr. Booth think has become of me, and what, in heaven's name, do you
+think of me?"
+
+He hastily buttoned himself into rigidity, rescued the flying ends of his
+muffler, and holding my hands for a moment, he laughed: "You are not only
+'just Clara,' but you are the only Clara that would make me so utterly
+forgetful of all rules of etiquette. Forgive, and good-by!" and he made
+an astonishingly hasty exit.
+
+That "call," that lasted from one till seven, with the accompanying
+picture of the stately Lawrence Barrett drinking cold tea and eating
+stiff cold toast, while he talked brilliantly of all things under heaven,
+is one of my quaintest memories.
+
+One loves to think of those years of his close relations with Mr. Booth.
+Artistically, the combination was an ideal one; commercially, it was a
+most successful one; while it certainly brought out qualities of
+gentleness and devotion in Mr. Barrett that the public had not
+accredited him with.
+
+The position of manager and co-star was a difficult one, and only
+Barrett's loving comprehension of Booth's peculiarities, as well as his
+greatness, made that position tenable. Mr. Booth loathed business
+details; he was sorrowful and weary; he had tasted all the sweets the
+world had to offer, but only their under tang of bitterness was left upon
+his lips. He had grown coldly indifferent to the call of the public, but
+Mr. Barrett believed that under this ash of lassitude there still glowed
+the clear fire of genius, and when they went forth to try their great
+experiment, Mr. Booth found himself respected, honored, guarded as any
+woman might have been. He was asked no questions about scene or scenery,
+about play or percentage--his privacy and peace were ever of the first
+consideration. Mr. Barrett was his agent, manager, stage-manager, friend,
+co-worker, and dramatic guardian angel--all he asked of him in return was
+to act.
+
+And how splendidly Mr. Booth responded the public can well remember. As
+he said laughingly to a friend, at the end of the first season: "Good
+work, eh? well, why should I not do good work, after all Barrett has done
+for me. Why, I never knew what c-o-m-f-o-r-t spelled before. I
+arrive--someone says: 'Here's your room, Mr. Booth.' I go in and smoke.
+At night, someone says: 'Here's your dressing-room, sir,' and I go in and
+dress, yes, and smoke, and then act. That's all, absolutely all that I
+have to do, except to put out my hand and take my surprisingly big share
+of the receipts now and then. Good work, eh? well, I'll give him the best
+that's in me, he deserves it."
+
+And in the beautiful friendship that grew up between the melancholy,
+gentle Booth and the nervously energetic Barrett I believe each gave to
+the other the best that was in him.
+
+Before leaving the Barretts I should like to mention an odd happening
+connected with Joe and my visit to New Orleans, where the theatre was
+under the management of Lawrence Barrett and Mr. Rogers. The company had
+taken for me one of those quick likings peculiar to our people;
+principally, I think, because being a temporary star (by the grace of Mr.
+Daly's will) they had expected me to be haughtily dictatorial, instead of
+shy to the point of misery, and because of their mistake they treated me
+like a long-sought sister, instead of the stranger I was.
+
+They publicly presented me with a gift on my last night, and almost in a
+body saw my mother and myself off on our Sunday night start for home.
+Everyone had left the car but big, hearty Joe Barrett--he still clung
+silently to my hands, though my mother begged him to go before he met
+with an injury. The train was out of the depot--the speed increasing
+rapidly, before he dropped off, safely landing just beneath a light, high
+above his head. His hat was off, his empty hand held out toward me, and
+in that light his face was as the face of the sorrowful dead. It chilled
+me, all my high spirits flattened down suddenly; I turned, and said: "Did
+_you_ see, mother?" and she answered: "It was the light, and his
+unhappiness, that made him look so like a--so sad," so I knew she had
+seen him as I had.
+
+Our journey was saddened by an accident, and when the train backed to
+take up the creature it had crushed, not knowing what had happened, by
+chance, I glanced down from the window, full into the face of the victim
+as they bore him past. He had been a large, broad-shouldered man, and the
+still, white face was so like Barrett's that I almost fainted. Everyone
+in the car seemed to feel some measure of culpability for the mishap; and
+at every unusual jolt or jar we looked with frightened eyes from the
+windows, dreading lest another stretcher might be borne into view. At
+last we were at home, and in work I regained my usual spirits.
+
+A few weeks, three or four, had passed. One morning I awakened myself
+from a dreamless sleep by my own singing. I faced the blank wall. I
+smiled sleepily at the absurdity of the thing, then I grew more awake,
+and as I sang on, I said to myself: "What is it--why, what can it be,
+that I am singing?"
+
+There were no words to this mournful, heart-breaking air, that ended with
+a wail, long and weird.
+
+"Mother," I called, the door being open between our rooms, "Mother, did
+you hear me singing just now?"
+
+"Well, yes," she replied, "since I am not deaf, I heard you very
+plainly."
+
+"Oh," I cried, "can you tell me what it was I sang?"
+
+My mother raised her head and looked in at me surprisedly: "Why, what is
+the matter with you, child--aren't you awake, that you don't know what
+you are doing? You were singing 'the lament' Joe Barrett sang in the
+French cemetery."
+
+"Oh!" I cried, in late-coming recognition, "you are right." I scrambled
+up, and thrusting back my hair from my face, started to sing it again,
+and lo! not a note could I catch. Again and again I tried; I shut my eyes
+and strove to recall that wail--no use. Then, remembering what a memory
+my mother had for _airs_ heard but once or twice, I called: "Dear, can't
+you start 'the lament' for me, I have lost it entirely?"
+
+She opened her lips, paused, looked surprised, then said, positively: "I
+might never have heard it, I can't get either its beginning or ending."
+
+I sprang from the bed, and in bare, unslippered feet, ran to the piano in
+the front room--no use; I never again heard, waking or sleeping, another
+note of "the lament."
+
+Mother called out presently: "Do you know what time it is? Go back and
+finish your sleep, it's not quite six o'clock."
+
+As I obediently returned to my room, I said, in a troubled voice: "What
+do you suppose it means, mother?" and as she snuggled her head back upon
+her pillow, she laughingly answered: "Oh, I suppose it's a sign you are
+going to hear from Joe Barrett soon. If you do, I hope it won't be
+anything bad, poor fellow!" for mother liked the "big Irish boy," as she
+called him.
+
+I fell asleep again, but was up and ready at nine for our rather-foreign
+breakfast of coffee, rolls, and salad. Now in our partnership mother was
+mistress of the house, and I, doing the outside work, being the
+wage-winner, was the _man_ of the house, and as such had the master's
+inalienable right to the morning paper with my coffee. That the mistress
+occasionally peeped at the headlines before the _master_ rose was a fact
+judiciously ignored by both, so long as the paper was ever found neatly
+folded beside the waiting coffee-cup. Imagine then my surprise when,
+coming into the room, I found my mother sitting at table with the badge
+of authority in her own hands, and my cup standing shorn of all its
+dignity. She avoided my eye, and hastily pouring coffee, said: "Drink it
+while it's hot, dear, and--and I'll just glance at the paper a moment."
+
+I sat back and stared, and I was just beginning to laugh at our small
+comedy when I discovered that mother, she of the rock-steady nerves, was
+trembling. Without looking up, she said again: "Drink your coffee--I'll
+give you the paper presently."
+
+I sipped a little and watched. She was not reading a line. I put down the
+cup. "Mother," said I, "is there anything in that paper that will
+interest me?"
+
+She looked up hastily: "Drink your coffee, and I'll----"
+
+"Is there?" I broke in.
+
+Tears rose in her eyes. "Y-y-yes," she stammered, "there is something
+here that will interest--rather that will grieve you, but if you would
+please take your coffee!"
+
+I caught up the cup and emptied it at a draught, then held out my hand.
+Mother gave me the paper and left the room; as her first sob reached my
+ear, I read: "Sudden death of the actor, Joseph Barrett." I sat staring
+stupidly, and before I saw another word there came to my ears the
+shivering of leaves, and a grave voice, saying: "It is a message from the
+dying or--the dead--believe that."
+
+"What," I asked, dully, "what is a message?" and then the blood chilled
+at my heart as I recalled "the lament," Joe had said: "It is a message
+from the dying--or the dead."
+
+After rehearsal, Mr. Daly wished to see me in his bit of a
+staircase-office in front of the house. He desired help in deciding about
+several scenes he meant to have built from old engravings. Suddenly he
+came to a stand-still. "What's the matter with you?" he cried; "where are
+your splendid spirits? you have been absent and heavy all morning--what's
+the matter?"
+
+"Oh, nothing much," I began, when he angrily interrupted: "For heaven's
+sake, spare me that senseless answer. If you won't tell me, say so.
+Refuse me your confidence, if you choose, but don't treat me as though I
+were a fool by saying _nothing_, when you look as if you'd seen a ghost!"
+
+"Oh, don't!" I cried, and astonished my irate manager by bursting into
+tears. He instantly became gentle, and forcing a thimbleful of
+_Chartreuse_ (which I loath) upon me, he once more asked what was the
+matter.
+
+And then I told him of the dying emigrant--of Joe's feeling for me--of
+the singing of "the lament," and at Joe's words: "It's a message from the
+dying, or the dead."
+
+Mr. Daly's fingers trembled like aspen leaves, his eyes dilated to
+perfect blackness, and almost he whispered the words: "Well,
+child--well?"
+
+I told of the song, begun in sleep, continued in wakefulness to its
+wailing end, and then lost--utterly lost! And leaning his pale face
+eagerly toward me, Mr. Daly exclaimed: "He proved his words, good God!
+don't you see that--that air was his message to you? a message from the
+dying or the dead!" his fingers nervously sought the little amulet he
+wore.
+
+"But," I objected, "he had been dead many hours before the song came to
+me?"
+
+When, with the utmost conviction, he instantly answered: "Think how far
+you were asunder--what a distance he had to come to you!"
+
+Being a very practical young person, a smile was rising to my lips, but a
+glance into his earnest eyes, that had become strange and mystic, checked
+it.
+
+"I shall tell Father D----y of this," he said, half to himself, then,
+looking at me, he added: "The man loved you greatly, whatever he may
+have been, for you have received his message--whether it came from the
+man dying or the man dead. Go home, child; never mind about the scenes
+to-day--go home!"
+
+And with that weird idea firmly fixed in his mind, he dismissed me.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHTH
+
+  I accept an Engagement with Mr. Macaulay for Cincinnati as Leading
+  Lady--My Adieus to Cleveland--Mr. Ellsler Presents Me with a Watch.
+
+
+After years of weary waiting, years of patient work, I had reached the
+position of juvenile leads _de jure_, but of general lack _de facto_, and
+then, lacking as my character was in the element of "push," even _I_
+could see plainly that I was throwing away myself and my chances in life
+by remaining in a position where I faced the sign of "No thoroughfare."
+
+That Mrs. Ellsler would retain the leading business while her husband
+retained a theatre was certain. I knew positively that some of
+Cleveland's leading business men, sturdy supporters of the theatre,
+finding that their mildly expressed dissatisfaction with the make-up of
+the company was ignored, had written and plainly asked for a change, just
+as Mr. Ellsler, every two years, changed the comedian, leading man, etc.,
+etc. They declared that his business would double in consequence; and
+this was submitted with the kindliest intentions and no wish to wound
+anyone, etc., and they were, with great respect--various business men.
+
+At all events, when the letter had produced embarrassed discomfort in one
+quarter and fierce anger in another, it became inactive. I rightly judged
+that the "No thoroughfare" sign was permanent--there was no further
+advancement possible in that theatre; therefore I rejoiced greatly when I
+had an engagement offered me, even though, for reasons touching the
+reputation of the manager who wrote, I refused it--still an offer of
+leading business heartened me, and I felt gratefully sure some star had
+spoken a kind word in my behalf. There was so much hanging upon that
+possible engagement, too; it meant more than advancement professionally,
+more than gratified ambition. Never yet had I been able to go beyond the
+taking care of myself and lending a helping hand in sickness to my
+mother; while, to my unsleeping distress, my bitter mortification, she
+had still to work. We were still apart, save for my regular weekly visit,
+and such a small increase in salary would have made it possible for us to
+live together, after a manner, in a very small way, but we would rather
+have been half alive and together than have thrilled with superabundant
+vitality while separated.
+
+As my services had never seemed to be regarded seriously by anyone but
+the star of the especial occasion, I was not utterly taken aback when I
+found my intention of stepping bravely out into the big world received
+with surprise and cold disapproval. Really, I was almost convinced that I
+had still the very a-b-abs of my business yet to learn, that I was rash
+and headstrong and all puffed up with strange, unseemly vanity; but just
+as I was sinking back to that "old-slipper" state of mind desired, a
+letter came from the well-known, thoroughly established actor-manager,
+Mr. Barney Macaulay, who offered me the leading business at Wood's
+Museum, Cincinnati, O.
+
+The salary was very small, but I understood perfectly that any manager
+would offer as small a salary to any actress whose _first_ season it was
+as leading woman.
+
+Oh, my! oh, my! but there followed a period of scant sunshine, of hot
+argument, of cold and cautious advice, of terrifying hints of lacking
+qualities. Want of dignity, of power, of authority! The managerial forces
+were winning all along the line of argument, when, like many another
+combatant who faces annihilation, I took a desperate chance; I called up
+every dissatisfied speech of my absent mother, every complaint, regret,
+reproach, every word of disappointment, of vexation, of urging, of
+goading, of stern command, and arming these words with parental authority
+I mounted them upon a mother's fierce wrath, and thus, as cavalry,
+recklessly hurled them at full charge upon the enemy's line. I had no
+infantry of proof to support my cavalry's move, it was sheer desperation;
+but Fortune is a fickle jade, she sprang suddenly to my side. The
+managerial lines broke before the mother's charge, and before he had them
+reformed I had written Mr. Macaulay that I was ready to consider to
+accept the offered engagement, if, etc., etc., and then put on my hat and
+jacket and went forth and cleverly showed, first the offered engagement
+to arouse my victimized parent's hopes, then descanted upon the
+opposition offered to my acceptance of it, and when _she_ was warmed with
+indignation I confessed to using her as my principal weapon--even
+admitted making up some speeches, and being hot and pleased, indignant
+and proud, she forgave me, and I bit my lips hard to keep silence about a
+great hope that she might possibly go with me to that new engagement;
+but, to spare her a possible disappointment, I held my peace.
+
+Later, when everything was seemingly settled and only the contract left
+to sign, came the amazing suggestion from Mr. Macaulay, that, because of
+my youth, I would undoubtedly be perfectly willing to let him reserve a
+few heavy _parts_ for his wife's acting. It is quite needless for me to
+explain that the few _parts_ to be reserved were the choicest of the
+legitimate drama. And then an amusing thing came to pass. I, who was so
+lacking in self-confidence, so backward and retiring, so easily cast down
+by a look of disapprobation, suddenly developed (on paper) an ability to
+stand up for my rights that was startling. By return mail I informed Mr.
+Macaulay that my youth did not affect me in the manner he anticipated;
+that I was not willing to resign all those important parts to another--no
+matter whose wife that other happened to be.
+
+A long, argumentative, soothing sort of letter came back to me, ending
+with the positive conviction that I would yield two parts to his
+wife--great pets of hers they were, too, and one of them being _Lady
+Macbeth_, I would of course be grateful to have it taken off my hands,
+while _Julia_, in "The Hunchback," had really come to be considered, in
+Cincinnati, as Miss Johnson's special property--Miss Rachael Johnson
+being the stage name of Mrs. Macaulay.
+
+Had he asked two _parts_ in the first place I would have granted them,
+but now my blood was up (on paper, mind you), and with swift decision I
+boldly threw the engagement up, declaring I would be the leading woman or
+nothing. For, you see, I had been in the frying-pan of one family theatre
+all my dramatic life, and I was not willing to throw myself at once into
+the fire of another one.
+
+The next letter contained a great surprise: a couple of signed contracts
+and a pleasant request for me too to sign both and return one
+immediately. Then the writer quite gently regretted my inability to grant
+his request, but closed by expressing his respect for my firmness in
+demanding my rights; and straightway I signed my first contract; went out
+and mailed one copy, and when I returned I had made up my mind to take
+the great risk--I had decided that my mother should never again receive
+commands from anyone. That my shoulders were strong enough to bear the
+welcome burden, and so we would face the new life and its possible
+sufferings together--_together_, that was the main thing.
+
+As I stood before the glass, smoothing my hair, I gravely bowed to my
+reflection, and said: "Accept my congratulations and best wishes, 'Wood's
+leading lady,'" and then fell upon the bed and sobbed, as foolish
+nerve-strained women will; because, you see, the way had been so long and
+sometimes so hard, dear Lord! so hard, but by His mercy I had won one
+goal--I was a leading woman!
+
+And then began my good-by to the city that I loved. I had lived in so
+many of its streets; I had attended so many of its schools, and still
+more of its churches. There was the great lake, too. I had sailed on it,
+had been wrecked on it, but against that I set the memory of those days
+when, in night-gown bath-dress, I reveled in its blue waters on Fourth of
+July family picnics.
+
+One church--old Bethel on Water Street--I hated, because the
+Sunday-school superintendent had been a hypocrite, and we knew it, and
+because in every one of its library books the good child died at the end,
+which was very discouraging to youthful minds.
+
+Another church, on Prospect Street, I loved, because that Sunday-school
+teacher had been so gentle and smiling and had worn such pretty pink
+flowers in her bonnet.
+
+Then there was the fountain in the square. I laughed as I said good-by to
+that, recalling the morning when, because of a bad throat, I had
+unobservedly, as I supposed, swallowed a powder (homoeopathic), and
+next moment heard hurrying footsteps behind me and felt a heavy hand on
+my shoulder, while a rough voice cried: "Where's the paper? what did you
+do it for? what's your name? say, answer up, now, before it gets hold of
+you--what's your name?"
+
+Frightened and bewildered, 'twas with difficulty I convinced the
+suspicious policeman that I was not attempting suicide by poison, but was
+trying to cure a sore throat. A theatre bill-board was in fair view, and
+my part in the _play_, which I luckily held rolled in my hand, induced
+him to let me go to rehearsal instead of the station-house; and while the
+policeman dispersed the crowd his own error had gathered, I resolved, as
+I flew toward the theatre, to take no more powders in public parks--no
+matter how empty they might seem to be.
+
+And then there was the _jail_, and as I nodded a good-by at its blackened
+walls I saw again that sunny morning when, in greatest haste, I passed
+that way and observed, coming toward me, three men walking very closely,
+who showed no intention of making way for me--which made me look at them
+surprisedly. And then the astonishing beauty of the tail, white-clothed
+central figure brought me to a halt. His ruddy features were as severely
+perfect as those stamped on an ancient coin. His glittering hair and
+mustache were of that pale and precious gold most often seen crowning a
+baby's head. His figure was tall, broad-shouldered, small-waisted, and
+his hands, good God! I whispered, and stopped there, for he wore the
+hand-cuffs, and on either side of him a strong and grimy hand gripped his
+arm. That was why they made no room for me; and as I swerved swiftly out
+into the middle of the street to pass them by, there came a glitter of
+bold blue eyes, a flash of white teeth, and a deep voice cried back to
+me: "I'm awfully sorry; I beg your pardon," and then they wheeled inside
+the iron gates, and five minutes later I knew the physically splendid
+creature I had seen was that Dr. Hughes who had just been taken for the
+murder of his victim (of a mock marriage), poor little sixteen-year-old
+Tamsie Parsons--she of the curly head, but steel-firm mouth, who loved
+passionately this God-like devil, yet had the moral courage to resist him
+to the death.
+
+And then the post-office was quite full of memories. One made my brow
+grow moist, even after years had passed since the damp autumn day when,
+as a child, I had let fall upon the stone floor a good large bottle of
+benzine. The crushed thing, wrapped nicely in blue paper, lay there,
+innocent to behold, while its escaping volatile contents got in some
+really fine work. First, two ladies held their noses, then a fierce old
+be-whiskered man looked about suspiciously, working his offended member
+just as a dog would. Then two men hurrying in opposite directions, but
+with their eyes turned up inquiringly toward the gas-fixture overhead,
+collided violently, and instead of apologizing, each abused the other as
+a blundering idiot, and wrinkling up their noses disgustedly, unlocked
+their boxes, and still grumbling went their ways, one declaring that the
+gas being wasted there was sufficient to illuminate the whole building.
+Then doors began to open violently, and pale men in office coats of
+alpaca darted out and ran about, frantically trying to turn off gas that
+was not turned on; and there I stood, shivering over the innocent blue
+package, very wet by that time, with my fear of a whipping for breaking
+the bottle losing itself in the greater terror of some swift public
+expiation of my fault. The unknown is always terrifying, and I strove in
+vain to imagine what the punishment would be for creating evil odors in a
+public building that brought postal clerks from their work in pursuit of
+them. But the sight of a policeman advancing toward the delivery window
+suddenly set me in motion, and with a bound I was out of the door and
+running like mad for a (then) Kinsman Street car. I wonder yet if that
+gas leak was ever properly located.
+
+Another day I had been sent for an advertised letter, and as several
+grown-ups were ahead of me at the little window, I withdrew to lean
+against the wall and rest a bit while waiting, for I had walked far and
+was very tired. And then a very white-haired, white-whiskered, white-tied
+old gentleman entered one of the many doors and looked nervously about
+him; when, seeing me, he brightened up, and at once began to beckon me
+toward him. Always respectfully obedient to the old, I at once approached
+the pink and white chipper old man, who nodded, smiled, and patting my
+head, asked, eagerly: "Er--er, do you--can you get letters from the
+office-window yonder?"
+
+His restless eyes wandered all over the place. "Oh, yes, sir," I
+answered, "I often get them for my mother, and for other people, too!"
+
+"Quite right, yes, yes, quite right, quite right!" responded the old
+gentleman, then added, reflectively: "Yes, she's a female, but females
+receive letters, though they don't vote, yes, yes! Well, my child, I want
+you to help me in a great and good work. You know people are taught from
+their earliest infancy the necessity of minding their P's and Q's, and
+that they don't do it! Now you and I will mind the P's and Q's of this
+great city, won't we, my dear? So, you just go to the window there and
+get all the letters there are for Parker, Purley, Prentiss, and Porter,
+and I'll come after you and get all the letters for Pixley, Pratt,
+Prince, and Pettigrew, and to-morrow, my dear, we'll come down and get
+all the Q's--the Quigley, Quinn, and Quiller crowd--and--and we'll take
+all the letters over to the fountain and throw them in the basin of
+water, and if they float we'll pitch bricks at 'em! Now, now's your time,
+go ahead, and get all the P's you can--it's a great scheme, great!" and
+then he stopped, for an almost breathless voice called out: "Here he is,
+Hank! confound him!" And as two men hurried toward my chipper old
+reformer, one said, reproachfully: "Now, look-a-here, Mr. Peiffer, if you
+don't keep your word no better nor this, Hank and me'll have to keep hold
+of you on your walks, and you won't like that!"
+
+"No," meekly murmured the old man, "I--er--I won't like that, I'm sure."
+
+Then Hank turned to me and asked, suspiciously: "Has he been filling you
+full of P's and Q's?"
+
+I nodded. "Then," said the other man, "we'd better get him back quick,
+that's the way he begins. Come on, now, Mr. Peiffer, come on!" and
+between them they led away the poor white-haired old madman, who looked
+back as he passed me, and whispered: "Pitch 'em in the fountain, I'll get
+the Q's to-morrow!"
+
+There, too, was the old, old grave-yard that the city had crept up to,
+cautiously at first, then finding them quite harmless--the quiet
+dead--had stretched out brick and mortar arms and circled it about. A
+network of streets had tangled about it, and turbulent life dashed
+against its very gates on the outside, but inside there was a great green
+silence.
+
+How well I knew the quiet place--the far, damp corner where, in lifting
+bodies for removal to a new cemetery, one had been found petrified; the
+giant sycamore-tree that guarded the grave of a mighty Indian chief, the
+lonely hemlock blackened nook where a grave had been cruelly robbed, the
+most expensive tomb, the most beautiful tomb, the oldest tomb, I knew
+them all. But the special attraction for me was a plain white headstone
+that happened to bear my own name. Whenever my mother boxed my ears, or
+was too hasty in her judgment to be quite just, I went over to my silent
+city and sat down and looked at the tombstone, and thought if it were
+really mine how sorry my mother would feel for what she had done. And
+when I had, in imagination, seen her tears and remorse, I would begin to
+feel sorry for her and to think she was punished enough, especially if it
+was rather late, and the shadows of tombstones and trees all fell long
+upon the sunny walks, all pointing like warning black fingers toward the
+gate. Then, indeed, I was apt to forgive my mother and flee to her--and
+supper.
+
+And so, up and down, smiling and sighing, I went, taking _conge_ of the
+city that had been home to me all my life, save just two years. I even
+paused at the little old cottage whose gate was the only one I had ever
+swung on, and I had hated the swinging, but I was six and was
+passionately enamoured of a small person named Johnnie, who lived there
+and who wore blue aprons; so I swung on the gate with him and to please
+him, and then, being like most of his sex, fickle of fancy, he deserted
+me for a new red dress worn by another. And when he spilled milk on it
+(his mother sold milk) and spoiled its glory, she scratched his face, and
+he wanted to return to me; but my love was dead, so dead I wouldn't even
+accept sips of milk out of the little pails he had to carry around to
+customers. And, so cruel is life, there I stood and laughed as I took
+leave of the small gate.
+
+At last all was done, my trunks were gone, I sat in my empty room waiting
+for the carriage. I had to make my journey quite alone, since my mother
+was to join me only when I had found a place to settle in. I was very
+sad. Mr. Ellsler was ill, for the first time since I had known him, and I
+had been over to his home, three or four blocks away, and bade good-by
+to Mrs. Ellsler and gentle little Annie--the other children were out. And
+finding I had no fear of contagion from a bad throat, she showed me into
+Mr. Ellsler's room. I was shocked to see him so wasted and so weak, and
+not being used to sickness I was frightened about him. Judge, then, my
+amazement, when, hearing a knock on my door and calling, "Come in,"
+instead of a bell-boy, there entered, pale and almost staggering, Mr.
+Ellsler. A rim of red above his white muffler betrayed the bandaged
+throat, and his poor voice was but a husky whisper.
+
+"I could not help it," he said; "you were placed under my care once by
+your mother. You were a child then, and though you are pleased to
+consider yourself a woman now, I could not bear to think of your leaving
+the city, at this saddest hour of the day, to begin a lonely journey,
+without some old friend being by for a parting God-speed."
+
+I was inexpressibly grateful, even through all my fright at his rashness;
+but he had yet another surprise for me. He said: "I wanted, too, Clara,
+to make you a little present, to give you a keepsake that would last long
+and would remind you daily of--of--er the years you have passed in my
+theatre."
+
+He drew a small box from his pocket. "A good girl and a good actress," he
+said, "needs and ought to own a--" he touched a spring, the box flew
+open--"a good watch," he finished.
+
+I gave a cry, I could not realize it was for me--I _could_ not! I clasped
+my hands in admiration instead of taking it, so, with his thin, sick
+man's fingers, he took it from its case and dropped it in my lap. I
+caught it then, and "Oh!" and again "Oh!" was all that I could cry, while
+I pressed it to my cheek and gloated over it.
+
+Literally, I could not speak, such an agony of delight in its beauty, of
+pride in its possession, of satisfaction in a need supplied, of gratitude
+tremendous and surprise immeasurable were more than I could find words
+for. If you are inclined to think this exaggeration, remember how poor I
+was--had always been; remember, too, there were no cheap watches then;
+this was of the best make and had a chain attached as well; then think
+how great was my need of it for the theatre, day and night, and for
+traveling. By my utter inability to earn such a thing measure my joyful
+surprise at receiving it, a gift.
+
+It was one of the red-letter days of my life, the day I owned a watch. My
+thanks must have been sadly jumbled and broken, but my pride and pleasure
+made Mr. Ellsler laugh, and then the carriage was there, and laughter
+stilled into a silent, close hand-clasp. As I opened the door of the
+dusty old hack, I glanced up and saw the first star prick brightly
+through the evening sky. Then the hoarse voice said, "God bless you!" and
+I had left my first manager.
+
+As I stepped out of the carriage at the depot, glancing up again I saw
+the sky sown thick with stars, like a field of heavenly daisies. I smiled
+a little at the thought, then suddenly _drew my watch_ to see the time,
+and hurried to my train. Thus grateful for a kindly send-off, made happy
+by a gift, I turned my back upon the old, safe life and brightly,
+hopefully faced the new. For I was young, and therefore confident; and it
+is surely for the old world's need that God has made youth so.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER TWENTY-NINTH
+
+  My first Humiliating Experience in Cincinnati is Followed by a
+  Successful Appearance--I Make the Acquaintance of the Enthusiastic
+  Navoni.
+
+
+It is a deep humiliation to relate my first experience in Cincinnati, but
+for reasons I set it down.
+
+A friend of mine, who hailed from Cincinnati and who wished to serve me,
+had said: "One thing I think I can do for you, friend Clara, I can save
+you the weariness and annoyance of a long search in a strange city for
+board. My wife and I were never so comfortable in our lives before as we
+were at the house of a Mrs. Scott. She is a gentlewoman, therefore she
+never pries, never gossips, never 'just runs in a moment,' when you want
+to study a 'part.' Her charges are reasonable, the table a little close,
+perhaps, but the cooking perfect. You and your mother would suit her
+demands as to regularity of habits, quiet conduct, etc., completely, and
+going there so early in September you will stand a good chance of
+securing a room. Try for 'ours'--it was so sunny and bright." And I,
+delighted at such a prospect, looked upon my letter of introduction as a
+very valuable document--a sort of character from my last place, and early
+on Monday morning went forth from my temporarily sheltering hotel to find
+Mrs. Scott and beg her to take me in on the word of her boarders of a
+year ago.
+
+I found the house easily, but, modest as was its exterior, its rich
+interior sent my heart down rapidly--it was going to be away beyond my
+salary I decided. Yet after a, to me, most bewildering interview, I found
+myself inspecting the big sunny room, and shrinking at the thought of my
+rough trunks coming in contact with such a handsome carpet. Mrs. Scott
+had remarked, casually, that she had put her earnings back on the house,
+as a pure matter of business, and I was radiant when she named her price
+for the room, and hastily engaging it, I started out at once to order my
+trunks taken there and to telegraph mother to come.
+
+As I descended the steps I could not help humming a little tune. A
+policeman strolled across the street toward me, and I had a hazy notion
+that he had been there when I went in. As I reached the pavement he
+stepped up, and holding out to me a handkerchief, palpably his own,
+asked, while looking at me closely, if it was mine.
+
+I was indignant, and I answered, sharply: "It is not mine--as you very
+well know!"
+
+He laughed rather sheepishly, and said: "Well, you are not stupid, if you
+are innocent," then asked: "Are you a stranger here?"
+
+I turned back toward the house I had just left, then paused as I said,
+angrily: "I have a mind to go back and ask Mrs. Scott to come out with me
+to protect me from the impertinence of the police!"
+
+"Who?" he asked, with wide-open, wondering eyes, "you will go back to
+who?"
+
+"To Mrs. Scott," I snapped.
+
+"Why," said he, "there's no Mrs. Scott there."
+
+"No?" I questioned satirically. "No? Well, as I have just engaged board
+from Mrs. Scott, I venture to differ with you."
+
+"Good Lord, Miss," the man said, "Mrs. William Scott's been dead these
+nine months or more. That's no place for honest people now. Why--why,
+we're watchin' the house this moment, hoping to catch that woman's
+jail-bird son, who has broken jail in Louisville--don't look so white,
+Miss!"
+
+"But--but," I whispered, "I--I was sent here by a friend--I--I have
+engaged a room there! Oh, what shall I do?"
+
+"That's all right, Miss," reassuringly answered the policeman, "I'll give
+up the room for you. You ain't the only one that has come here expecting
+to find Mrs. Scott in the house. You don't need to go back to the door;"
+and the theatre being in full view, in an agony of humiliation and
+terror, I flung myself into its friendly, just-opened office, where Mr.
+Macaulay presently found me shaking like a leaf and almost unable to make
+plain my experience.
+
+He was furious, and finding my name was mentioned in the letter of
+introduction to Mrs. Scott, and that "Mrs. Scott" had retained it, he
+called the policeman and together they went to the house and demanded the
+letter back. It was given up, but most unwillingly, as the woman, with
+the superstition of all gambling people, looked upon it as a
+luck-breeder, a mascot; and an hour later, by Mr. Macaulay's aid, I had
+found two wee rooms, whose carpets would welcome my trunks as hiders of
+holes--rooms that were dull, even dingy, but had nevertheless securely
+sheltered honest poverty for long years past, and could do as much for
+years to come.
+
+I mention this unpleasant incident simply to show how utterly unexpected
+are some of the pitfalls that make dangerous the pathway of honest
+girlhood. To show, too, that utter ignorance of evil is in itself a
+danger. The interview that bewildered me would have been, for instance, a
+danger signal to my mother, who would, too, having seen how the richness
+of furniture contradicted outside shabbiness, have had her suspicions
+aroused. I noted that fact, but not knowing of gambling being unlawful
+and secretly carried on, my observation was of no service to me, as it
+suggested nothing. Ignorance of the existence of evil may sometimes
+become the active foe of innocence.
+
+No one learned of the unpleasant experience, so I was spared
+disagreeable comment; and, sending for my mother to join me, I devoted
+myself to preparations of my opening night.
+
+The meeting with strangers, which I had greatly dreaded, passed off so
+easily, even so pleasantly, as to surprise me. Everyone offered a kind
+word of greeting, and all the women expressed their sympathy because I
+had to open in so poorly dressed a part. That troubled _me_ very little,
+however.
+
+The character was that of a country girl (_Cicely_) in some old comedy,
+whose name I have forgotten. She wore just one gown--a black and white
+print, as she was in mourning for her old, farmer father. A rustic wench,
+a milk-maid come up to "Lun'un-town," she had one speech that was a trial
+for any woman to have to speak. It was not as brutally expressed as are
+many of the speeches given to rustics in the old English comedies--but it
+was the _double-entendre_ that made it coarse.
+
+Some of the ladies were speaking with me of the matter, and the "old
+woman" suggested that I just mumble the words. I said I could not well do
+that, as it was a part of the principal scene of the play.
+
+"Well," declared another, "I should hang my head and let the house see
+that I was ashamed of the speech."
+
+I said nothing, but I thought that would be a most inartistic breaking
+away from the part of the rustic _Cicely_, and a dragging in of
+scandalized Miss Morris.
+
+The girl was supposed to make the speech through blundering ignorance,
+she alone not seeing its significance; and to my idea there was but one
+way to deliver it, and that certainly was not with a hanging head and
+shamefaced manner, thus showing perfect, if disapproving, knowledge of
+its double meaning.
+
+When the opening night came a pleasant little thing happened to me. As I
+entered with straw hat tied under chin and bundle in hand, I received a
+modest little reception, what would about equal the slight raising of a
+hat in passing a woman in a corridor; but the moment I had spoken the
+first insignificant speech the house gave me as hearty a greeting as any
+leading woman could wish for.
+
+I was startled and much confused for a few moments, but very pleased and
+grateful withal, yet when I came off, Mr. Macaulay's pleasure seemed
+twice as great as mine, and as I laughingly told him so, he said: "Well,
+now I'm going to make a confession. Your letters gave me an impression
+of--of--well, you are entirely unlike your letters--you are smaller, and
+you look even younger than you really are. There isn't the very faintest
+suggestion of the actress in your manner, and--and--to be honest, I was a
+bit frightened over the engagement I had made. Then your having to open
+in this insignificant part was against you. But they are no fools out
+_there_, my girl. They have found you out already. Your eyes and voice
+alone won that welcome, and I'd not be afraid to wager something now that
+the last curtain falls to-night upon a new favorite."
+
+I was greatly pleased, but those broad lines were still hanging over me,
+still disturbing me.
+
+At last the scene arrived. I gave the inquiring speech, with its wretched
+double meaning, clearly and plainly, looking squarely and honestly into
+the eyes of the person I addressed--the result was described as follows
+by a morning paper:
+
+"That one speech proved the newcomer an actress of superior quality.
+Clearly and simply given, the great guffaw that instantly responded to
+the _double-entendre_ had scarcely risen, when the girl's perfect
+honesty, her wide-eyed innocence, so impressed the audience that applause
+broke from every part of the house. It was the most dramatic moment of
+the evening, for that outburst was not merely approbation for the
+actress, it was homage to the woman."
+
+So it came to pass that Mr. Macaulay's words came true--the curtain fell
+upon a favorite, by grace of the warm and kindly hearts of the
+Cincinnatians, who were quick to see merits and ever ready to forgive
+errors.
+
+The Hebrew citizens, who are enthusiastic and most generous patrons of
+the theatre, became especially fond of me, so much so indeed that the
+company christened me "Rebecca," in jesting allusion to their favor, of
+which I was nevertheless very proud, for better judges of matters
+theatrical it would be hard to find.
+
+When my mother arrived, we settled down in our little rooms, where my
+trunks, which had to be opened every day for the nightly change of
+costume, had to stand one on top of another in order to make room for an
+old battle-scarred piano that I had hired.
+
+I do not know its maker's name--no one knows--which was well for that
+person, because his act in constructing such a thing placed him in the
+criminal classes. It seemed to be a cross between a coffin and a
+billiard-table, and there was just enough left of its rubber cover to
+make an evil smell in the room.
+
+Had it not been for the generosity of the leader of the orchestra (Mr.
+Navoni) I could not have enjoyed the luxury of even a few music lessons,
+but he saw my willingness to learn--to practise when possible, and loving
+music rapturously himself, he took a generous delight in helping others
+to the knowledge he had such a store of. Therefore, for a ridiculously
+small price, just enough, he said, to properly mark our relations as
+master and pupil, he introduced me to my notes and lines and
+ledger-lines, too (confound them!), and accidentals and sharps (which I
+hated) and flats (which I liked), and I developed a great affection for
+_c_, because I could always find it, while I hate _a_ to this hour
+because of the trouble it gave me so long ago.
+
+One thing I am sure of, had anyone awakened me suddenly from a deep sleep
+at that time I would instantly have exclaimed: "One _and_ two _and_ three
+_and_." Mr. Navoni and his wife had the room directly over ours; of
+course I knew every loud sound we made must penetrate to his room, and as
+I could conceive of nothing more maddening than to have to listen to a
+beginner's _one_, two, three--_one_, two, three, I tried to practise when
+he was out, which was difficult, as our hours were the same. Then one
+day, knowing he was composing a march for a special occasion, I closed
+the piano and determined I would not disturb him with any noise of mine.
+
+Upstairs, then, Mr. Navoni sat, rumpled as to hair, fiery as to eye, with
+violin on table and pen in hand. He hummed a little, tried one or two
+bars on the violin, then savagely threw a few notes of ink on to his
+ruled paper. Then he hummed a little, and seemed to listen, jotted down a
+note or two, listened attentively, and then burst out: "Do you hear a
+sound of practice from Miss Morris's room?"
+
+"No, dear," gently replied Mrs. Navoni, "she doesn't want to disturb you
+at your work, she----"
+
+But a burst of wrath stopped her. Mr. Navoni was clattering down-stairs
+and pounding on our door: "What does this mean? Get you to that devilish
+bad piano and do your scales--_scales_, mind you--let the exercises wait
+till the last! Interrupt me? Love I not music! nothing is sweeter to me
+than the '_one_, two, three' of the beginner--_if_ the beginner is not a
+fool--_if_ the beginner counts the '_one_, two, three' correctly! Damn!
+yes, I say _damn_! look at the time lost! afraid to disturb me? How the
+devil am I to compose that march they want with this room still as the
+dead? Now I go back, and if you don't do those scales, all smooth and
+even, and the exercises rightly timed, you--well, you know what you'll
+get! I can hear, even if I am composing. So you get to work, quick now!
+before I get back to my table!"
+
+And he tore off again, while, with clammy fingers, I sat down to the
+wretched old piano, that was showing its teeth at me in a senile grin,
+and feebly and uncertainly began to wobble up and down the keyboard.
+
+Mrs. Navoni afterward told me that when her husband returned to his work
+he hummed to himself a few moments, jotted down a few notes, listened to
+the sound of the rattling old piano, and, smiling and nodding, remarked:
+"_Now_ I can do something--_one_, two, three--_one_, two, three--that's
+right. I couldn't compose a bar with her wasting a precious hour down
+there. She keeps good time, eh, doesn't she? Now I'll give the boys
+something that will move their feet for them!" and he returned to the
+march.
+
+The thing which I was to get if I failed to practise correctly was so
+unusual that I feel I must explain it. Mr. Navoni wore an artificial foot
+and leg of the cumbrous type then offered to the afflicted, and in the
+privacy of his own room he used to remove the burdensome thing and lay it
+on a chair by the couch on which he rested or read or wrote, and when I,
+down-stairs, made a first mistake in my practice, he growled and kicked
+viciously with his "for-true" leg, while a second blunder would make him
+seize his store-leg and pound the floor. Then when I began again he would
+whack the correct time with it with such emphasis that bits of my ceiling
+would come rattling down about me and the gas-fixture threatened not to
+remain a fixture.
+
+Another trick of his was to bring down his violin with him. How my heart
+sank when I saw it, and, my lesson over, he requested me to play such or
+such an exercise: "And keep to your own business, and leave my business
+to me, if you please, Miss. _Now!_"
+
+I was then expected to go over and over that exercise and keep perfect
+time, while he stood behind me and improvised on the violin, growing more
+and more distracting every moment, and if that led my attention away from
+my _one_, two, three, what a crack I got across the top of my ear from
+his fiddle-bow, and a sharp order to: "Go back--go back! _one_, two,
+three; _one_, two, three! Cry by and by, but now play! _One_, two,
+three!"
+
+I should have thought myself a hopeless case, and given up, had I not one
+morning overheard him boasting to some of the musicians: "That I was a
+good enough leading woman, he supposed, but it was as a piano pupil that
+I really counted for something. Why," he cried, "she has the most perfect
+ear, and such steadiness--a whole band-wagon of instruments turned loose
+on her wouldn't make her lose time!"
+
+I smiled and felt of my even then burning ear, but still his boast
+encouraged me to return to my scales, which were wofully interrupted by
+the necessity I experienced of clawing up with my nails several old keys
+that were too weak to rise again having once been pressed down.
+
+When Mr. Navoni played, and he came to one of those tired-out ivories, he
+put a _damn_ in the place of the absent note, but for obvious reasons I
+could not do that. But Mr. Navoni was an earnest, determined, and
+enthusiastic teacher, and I remember him gratefully and respectfully.
+
+The widow of the boarding-house differs from the widow of the Testament
+in that the boarding-house widow's cruse of oil seems always "just out,"
+and her meal at a like low ebb. Neither my mother nor myself were used to
+luxuries; we expected little, and, truth to tell, we got it. To say we
+were nearly always hungry would be putting things quite mildly, but we
+were _together_! and so 'twas better to feel a bit "gone" under the belt
+than to be filled to repletion and live apart.
+
+I worked hard at all times, and five nights out of seven I had to study
+till far on toward morning. The Saturday brought me a double performance,
+and left me a wreck; thus I thought I had a right to a bit of a treat on
+Sunday; and I can see the important air mother unconsciously assumed as
+she went forth on her secret errand--secret that no offence might be
+given to the economical landlady.
+
+When the matinee was over I brought home my personal offering for our
+next day's comfort and pleasure--a copy of an illustrated weekly paper
+and five cents' worth of candy, always something hard that would last us
+long while we read. Thus on Saturday night, on the sill of the back
+window, there stood a small can of oysters, while in the top drawer
+rested a box marked handkerchiefs, but which held crackers, beside it a
+folded paper, and on top of that the wee package of candy.
+
+I had a membership at the library on the corner, so we had books, too,
+thank heaven! I have always been a fairly regular church-goer; in
+Cincinnati the limitations of my wardrobe would have made me conspicuous.
+I had but one street dress in the world, and constant wear in rain or
+shine made it a very shabby affair. In novels the heroine who has but one
+gown is always so exquisitely gloved and shod, and her veil and neck-wear
+are so immaculately fresh, that no one notices the worn dress; but in
+real life it's just the gloves and shoes and veils and ruffles that cost
+the most money, yet their absence stamps you ill-bred in the eyes of
+other women. Therefore I knew the inside of but one church in Cincinnati,
+"Christ's Episcopal," and only knew that in the spring, when I had
+fluttered forth in new gown and gloves and things; so Sundays were given
+over to a late breakfast, a little reading in the Bible, a good long
+reading of secular matter, sweetened by candy, a calm acceptance (that
+was puzzling to the Navonis) of a shadowy dinner, a short walk if weather
+permitted, then, oh, then! a locked door, a small tea-pot, a tiny
+saucepan (we had not the bliss of owning a chafing-dish), and presently
+we sat enjoying, to the last spoonful, a hot and delicious stew, a pot of
+tea, that brought to mind many stories and made old jokes dance forth
+with renewed youth, and kept us loitering over our small banquet in a
+quite disgraceful way. Then back to our novels again till bed-time, and
+next day, all fresh and rested, I began my "one _and_ two _and_ three
+_and_" before breakfast, and thus won approval from Navoni and started a
+new week's work under fair auspices.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTIETH
+
+  New York City is Suggested to Me by Mr. Worthington and Mr.
+  Johnson--Mr. Ellsler's Mild Assistance--I Journey to New York, and
+  Return to Cincinnati with Signed Contract from Mr. Daly.
+
+
+To say I made a success in Cincinnati is the barest truth. Almost at
+once--the third night of the season, to be exact--I received my first
+anonymous gift: a very beautiful and expensive set of jewelry, pale-pink
+corals in combined dead and burnished gold. They rested in their
+satin-lined nest and tempted me. The sender wrote: "Show that you forgive
+my temerity by wearing my offering in the third act."
+
+_I did not wear them in any act_, and yet, oh, eternal feminine! I "tried
+them on"--at least I put one ring in my ear and held the pendant against
+my throat, "just to see" how they _would_ have looked, you know.
+
+Flowers came over the footlights, the like of which I had never seen in
+my life before--great baskets of hot-house beauties, some of them costing
+more than I earned in a week. Then one night came a bolder note, with a
+big gold locket. A signature made it possible for me to return that gift
+next morning.
+
+All that sort of thing was new to me, and, naturally, pleasing--yes,
+because earned approbation pleases one, even though it be not quite
+correctly expressed. It soon became whispered about that I sent back all
+gifts of jewelry, and lo! one matinee, with a splendid basket of white
+camelias, fringed about with poinsettia leaves, there came a box of
+French candied fruit. My! what a sensation it created in the
+dressing-room. I remember some of the ladies (we dressed in one great
+long room there) took bits of peach and of green figs to show their
+friends, while I devoted myself to the cherries and apricots. That seemed
+to start a fashion, for candies, in dainty boxes, came to me as often as
+flowers afterward, and, to my great pride and pleasure, were often from
+women, and my Saturday five cents' allowance was turned over to mother
+for the banqueting fund--that meant a bit of cheese for supper.
+
+At the time of the season's opening there was a man in Cincinnati who was
+there sorely against his will, a wealthy native of the city, a lawyer who
+would not practise, a traveler in distant lands, he had lived mainly for
+his own pleasure and had grown as weary of that occupation as he could
+possibly have grown had he practised the law. Tired of everything else,
+he still kept his liking for the theatre. Living in New York in the
+winter, at Cape May in the summer, he only came to his old home when
+someone was irritating enough to die and need burying in state, or when
+some lawsuit required his attention, as in this instance. So, being
+there, and not knowing what else to do, he had gone dully and moodily to
+the theatre, saying to his cousin companion: "I'll take a look at
+Macaulay's new leading lady, and then I'll sleep through the rest of the
+evening comfortably, for no one can talk to me here as they do at the
+hotel"--and the country _Cicely_ had appeared, and, to use Mr.
+Worthington's own words: he had sat up straight as a ramrod and as
+wide-awake as a teething baby for the rest of the evening.
+
+Between acts he had made inquiries as to the history of the new actress,
+only to find that, like most happy women, she had none. She came from
+Cleveland, she lived three doors away with her mother--that was all. On
+that first night he had said: "Good Lord, Will, what is that girl doing
+out here in the West? I must see her in a better part. What's on
+to-morrow night? Secure our seats for the season, that will save a lot
+of trouble;" and incidentally it made a lot of annoyance for me.
+
+Next night I played what actresses call a "dressed part," which, in spite
+of suggestion, does not mean that there are parts that are not dressed,
+only that the character wears fine clothes instead of plain ones. It was
+a bright, light comedy part. The audience was enthusiastic, though, of
+course, I was only supporting the star. Then Mr. Worthington exclaimed:
+"That girl ought to be in New York this very moment!"
+
+"Do you think so?" questioned his inseparable.
+
+"Do I think so?" mocked his cousin. "Yes, I know it. I know the theatres
+foreign--their schools and styles, as well as I know the home theatres
+and their actors. I believe I've made a discovery!"
+
+A beautiful mass of flowers came to me that night with Mr. Worthington's
+visiting card, without message. The third night I played a tearful part;
+the papers (as the women put it) "went on awful," and Mr. Worthington,
+snapping his glasses into their case, said, as he rose: "I shall never
+rest till this Clara Morris faces New York. She need clash with no one,
+need hurt no one, she is unlike anyone else, and New York has plenty of
+room for her. I shall make it my business to meet her some way or other,
+and preach New York until she accepts the idea and acts upon it."
+
+His visit to Cincinnati was prolonged; his young cousin, Mr. Will
+Burnett, thought he was on the high-road to crankiness on the subject.
+Then Mr. Worthington discovered we had a common friend in lawyer Egbert
+Johnson, and he was presented in proper form to my mother (oh, wise Mr.
+Worthington), and winning her approval by praise of her wonderful chick
+(where is the mother that does not readily believe her goose a swan?),
+she in her turn presented him to me, and for the first time I listened to
+a suggestion of coming to New York.
+
+To say I was amused at the idea would be putting it mildly indeed, for I
+was tickled to such laughter that tears came to my eyes. He was annoyed,
+but I laughed on. He waited--I was called upon for some heavy tragic
+parts. He came again--I laughed still.
+
+"Good heavens!" I cried, "I'm not pretty enough!"
+
+He said: "You have your eyes and voice and expression, and you don't seem
+to be suffering much here from your lack of beauty."
+
+"N-no," I answered, naively, "you see, all the women in this company are
+rather plain."
+
+He laughed, but he continued to urge me to try for an engagement in New
+York.
+
+"I don't know enough," I faltered.
+
+"You lack polish of manner, perhaps," he admitted, "but you will acquire
+that quickly, while no one can acquire your fire and strength and pathos!
+For God's sake, let me do one unselfish act in my life--let me serve you
+in this matter. I will go to the managers in New York and speak for you."
+
+But that offer I curtly declined, asking him how long my reputation would
+remain unassailed if I allowed him to act for me.
+
+In spite of all his praise of my work, I should have remained unmoved had
+Mr. Johnson not joined forces with Mr. Worthington, and calmly assured me
+that he, too, knew the New York theatres and actors, and he honestly
+believed I had a chance of acceptance by the public, if only a manager
+would give me an opening, for, said he: "Worthington is right this time,
+you really are an exceptionally clever girl, so why should you bury
+yourself in small Western cities?"
+
+"Oh!" I indignantly cried, "Cleveland and Cincinnati are very big cities,
+indeed!"
+
+"Yes," smiled Mr. Johnson, "but New York is quite a bit larger, and
+besides you would like to be accepted by the metropolis of your country,
+would you not?"
+
+And straightway my heart gave a bound, my cheeks began to burn, the
+leaven was working at last--my ambition was awakened! I wondered day and
+night, could I act well enough to please New York? I thought not; I
+thought yes! I thought--I thought there could be no harm just to ask the
+managers if they had an opening. But there my courage failed me--I could
+not. I never had written to a manager in my life, save to answer a
+letter. Finally, I wrote to Mr. Ellsler--he knew all the New York
+managers (few then)--and told him I was about to ask my first favor at
+his hands. Would he write to one or two managers for me, or give me a
+line of introduction to them? and his unexpected opposition to my plans,
+the cold water he cast upon my warm hopes, instead of crushing my spirit
+utterly, aroused the old dogged determination to do what I had undertaken
+to do--make a try for a New York opening!
+
+The controversy finally ended in my receipt of a letter from Mr. Ellsler
+informing me he had written to four managers, and said what he could for
+me--which proved to be mighty little, as I afterward saw two of the four
+letters, as they were in duplicate, though one was to a stranger, one to
+an acquaintance, and two to friends. He simply asked: "If they had an
+opening for a young woman, named Clara Morris, for leading or
+leading-juvenile business." That was all; not a word of recommendation
+for ability or mention of years of thorough experience--not even the
+conventional expression of a personal obligation if they were able to
+consider my application.
+
+Had I been a manager, and had I received such a letter, I know I should
+have cast it aside, thinking: "Oh, that's a duty letter and amounts to
+nothing. If the girl had any recommendations for the position he would
+have said so." Still, some answers were returned, though Mr. Wallack
+ignored his copy. Mr. Jarrett (of Jarrett & Palmer) wrote Mr. Ellsler
+that they were bound to spectacular ("Black Crook") for the year to come,
+and had no earthly use for an actress above a soubrette or a walking
+lady. Mr. Edwin Booth wrote: "If you had only addressed me a few days
+earlier. I remember well the young woman of whom you speak. I have
+unfortunately" (this last word was crossed out)--"I have just closed with
+Miss Blanche DeBar--old Ben is persistent and has great confidence in
+her, and, as I said, I have just closed with her for the coming season.
+With," etc., etc.
+
+Then there was a wee bit of paper--little, niggly-naggly, jetty-black,
+impishly vindictive-looking writing on two short-waisted lines of about
+eleven words each. That was from Mr. Daly, and it snapped out this
+information: "If you send the young woman to me I will willingly consider
+proposal. Will engage no actress without seeing her. A. Daly."
+
+These letters were blithely sent to me by Mr. Ellsler, who evidently
+looked upon the question as closed, but that was where we differed. I
+considered it a question just fairly opened. I admit Mr. Daly's calm
+ordering of me from Cincinnati to his office in New York for inspection
+staggered me at first, but there was that line: "I will willingly
+consider the proposal;" that was all I had to trust to; not much, heaven
+knows! "Yet," I argued, "he is evidently a man who says much in little;
+at all events, though the chance is small, it is the only one offered,
+and, if I can stand the expense, I'll go and take that chance."
+
+I would have to obtain leave of absence; I would have to pay a woman for
+at least two performances, even if I got off on Saturday night; I would
+have to stop one night in a hotel at New York, and, oh, dear, oh, dear!
+would I dare to risk so much--to spend all my little savings toward the
+summer vacation for this trip that might end disastrously after all? I
+read again: "_Will engage no actress without seeing her._" Well, that
+settled the matter. Suddenly I seemed to hear my old Irish washerwoman
+saying: "Ah, well! God niver shuts one dure without opening anither!" I
+laughed a bit and decided to risk my savings--nothing venture, nothing
+win!
+
+That very night I asked leave of absence; the time was most favorable--I
+obtained it. I found next day an actress to take my place on Monday and
+Tuesday evenings. Then mother and I emptied out our flat and old
+pocket-books. I brought from its secret hiding-place the little roll of
+bills saved for summer's idle time, and we put all in a pile. Then I drew
+out a week's board in advance and gave it to mother; drew out enough to
+pay the woman who took my place, and all the rest, to the last dollar,
+was required for the expenses of my solitary journey to the great
+beckoning city by the sea.
+
+As I closed my pocket-book, I said to myself: "There, I have shut one
+door with my own hand, but I'll trust God to open another for me before
+vacation arrives."
+
+There's an old saw that gravely states: "It never rains but it pours,"
+and surely business opportunities "poured" upon me at that time, for in
+that very week I received two offers of engagements, and one of them, had
+not the New York bee been buzzing so loudly in my bonnet, would have
+driven me quite wild with delight. That was from Mr. Thomas Maguire, of
+San Francisco, and the salary was to me enormous. One hundred dollars a
+week in gold, a benefit, and no vacation at all, unless I wished it. I
+temporized. I wished to gain time enough to learn my fate in New York
+before deciding. But Mr. Maguire was in haste, and as I hurried from the
+theatre to start on my journey, a long envelope was placed in my hands. I
+opened it on the cars, and found signed contracts for the leading
+business at San Francisco, with an _extra_ benefit added as an inducement
+for me to accept.
+
+So I journeyed onward to tempt Fate, a little forlorn and frightened at
+first, but receiving so many courtesies and little kindnesses from my
+more fortunately placed fellow-travelers, that I quite forgot to be
+either frightened or forlorn--but was amazed at the beauty of the stately
+river we crossed, whose ripples caught the glowing color of the sky and
+broke them into jewels; and beyond that silvery curtain of haze stretched
+the great city of my dreams, all circled round and guarded by living
+waters.
+
+Then I was ashore again and clambering into the great swaying coach of
+the Fifth Avenue Hotel, the conductor having told me it was right next
+door to the theatre. I breakfasted, took from my bag a new gray veil, a
+pair of gray gloves, a bit of fresh ruffling, and a needle and thread,
+with which I basted the ruffle into the neck of my gown; put on the veil
+and gloves, that being all the preparation I could make by way of toilet
+to meet the arbiter of Fate, said "Our Father," and coming to "Amen" with
+a jerk, discovered I had not been conscious of the meaning of one single
+word, and whispering with shame, "only lip service," remorsefully
+repeated again, and with absolute sincerity, that prayer which expresses
+so simply, so briefly, all our needs, physical and spiritual; that places
+us at once in the comforting position of a beloved child asking with
+confidence for a father's aid. A prayer whose beauty and strength share
+in the immortality of its Divine composer.
+
+And then I rose and went forth, prepared to accept success or defeat,
+just as the good Lord should will.
+
+As I passed around the hotel and approached the theatre on Twenty-fourth
+Street, an enormous upheaval of ice blocked the way--ice piled shoulder
+high in front of the theatre door, and on one side of the glittering mass
+stood a long, tall, thin man, as mad as a hornet, while on the other
+side, stolidly, stupidly silent, stood a squat Irishman, holding an
+ice-man's tongs in one hand and his shock of red hair in the other. The
+long, flail-like arms of the tall man were in wild motion. In righteous
+wrath he was trying to make the bog-trotter understand that the ice was
+for the hotel, whose storage door was but a few feet to his right, when
+he saw me making chamois-like jumps over the blocks of ice trying to
+reach the door. With black-browed courtesy he told me to use the second
+door, that morning, to reach the box-office.
+
+I had, all unconsciously, formed an idea of Mr. Daly, and I was looking
+for a small, dark, very dark, nervously irritable man, and was therefore
+frankly amused at the wrath of the long, thin man, whose vest and whose
+trousers could not agree as to the exact location of the waist-line, and
+laughed openly at the ice-scene, winning in return as black a scowl as
+any stage-villain could well wear. Then I cheerfully remarked: "I'm
+looking for Mr. Daly; can you tell me where I am likely to find him?"
+
+"You want Mr. Daly?" he repeated. "Who are you?"
+
+"I'll tell Mr. Daly that, please," I answered.
+
+He smiled and said: "Well, then, tell _me_--I'm Mr. Daly--are you----"
+
+"Yes," I answered, "I'm the girl come out of the West, to be inspected.
+I'm Clara Morris."
+
+He frowned quickly, though he held out his hand and shook mine heartily
+enough, and asked me to come into his office.
+
+It was a cranny in the wall. It held a very small desk and one chair,
+behind which was a folding stool. As he entered, I laughingly said: "I
+think I'll lean here, I'm not used to sitting on the floor," but to my
+surprise, as he brought forth the stool, he curtly replied: "I was not
+going to ask you to sit on the floor," which so amused me that I could
+not resist asking: "Are you from Scotland, by chance, Mr. Daly?" and he
+had frowningly said "No!" before the old, old joke about Scotch density
+came to him.
+
+Then he said, with severity: "Miss Morris, I'm afraid your bump of
+reverence is not well developed."
+
+And I laughed and said: "There's a hole there, Mr. Daly, and no bump at
+all," and though the words were jestingly spoken, there was truth and to
+spare in them, and there, too, was the cause of all the jolts and jars
+and friction between us in our early days together. Mr. Daly was as a god
+in his wee theatre, and was always taken seriously. I knew not gods and
+took nothing under heaven seriously. No wonder we jarred. Every word I
+spoke that morning rubbed Mr. Daly's fur the wrong way. I offended him
+again and again. He wished to show me the theatre, and, striking a match,
+lit a wax taper and held it up in the auditorium, at which I exclaimed:
+"Oh, the pretty little match-box! Why, it's just a little toy
+play-house--is it not?"
+
+Which vexed him so I was quite crushed for a minute or two. One thing
+only pleased him: I could not tear myself away from the pictures, and I
+praised, rapturously, a beautiful velvety-shadowed old engraving. We grew
+quite friendly over that, but when we came to business he informed me I
+was a comedy woman, root and branch.
+
+"But," I said, "ask Mr. Edwin Booth, or Mr. Davenport, or Mr. Adams!"
+
+He waved me down. "I won't ask anyone," he cried; "I never made a mistake
+in my life. You couldn't speak a line of sentiment to save your soul!"
+
+"Why, sentiment is my line of business--I play sentiment every week of my
+life," I protested.
+
+"Oh, you know what I mean," he said, "you can _speak_ and _repeat_ the
+lines, but you couldn't give a line of sentiment naturally to save your
+life--your forte is comedy, pure and simple."
+
+It all ended in his offer to engage me, but without a stated line of
+business. I must trust to his honor not to degrade me by casting me for
+parts unworthy me. He would give me $35 a week (knowing there were two to
+live on it), _if I made a favorable impression he would double that
+salary_.
+
+A poor offer--a risky undertaking. I had no one to consult with. I had in
+my pocket the signed contract for $100 in gold and two benefits. I must
+decide now, at once. Mr. Daly was filling up a blank contract.
+Thirty-five dollars against $100! "_But if you make a favorable
+impression_ you'll get $70," I thought. And why should I not make a
+favorable impression? Yet, if I fail now in New York, I can go West or
+South, not much harmed. If I wait till I am older, and fail, it will ruin
+my life.
+
+I slipped my hand in my pocket and gave a little farewell tap to the
+contract for $100. I took the pen; I looked hard at him. "There's a heap
+of trusting being asked for in this contract," I remarked. "You won't
+forget your promise about doubling the salary?"
+
+"I won't forget anything," he answered.
+
+I looked at the pen, it was a stub, the first I ever saw; then I said:
+"That's what makes your writing look so villainous. I can't sign with
+that thing--I'd be ashamed to own my signature in court, when we come to
+the fight we're very likely to have before we are through with each
+other."
+
+He groaned at my levity, but got another pen. I wrote Clara Morris twice,
+shook hands, and went out and back to my home--a Western actress with an
+engagement in a New York theatre for the coming season.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-FIRST
+
+  John Cockerill and our Eccentric Engagement--I Play a Summer Season at
+  Halifax--Then to New York, and to House-Keeping at Last.
+
+
+Mr. Worthington passed out of my life after he had done me the service he
+set out to do. It had been an odd notion to step down from his carriage,
+as it were, and point out to a girl, struggling along a rough and dusty
+path, a short cut to the fair broad highway of prosperity; but I thank
+him heartily, for without his urging voice, his steadily pointing hand, I
+should have continued plodding along in the dust--heaven knows how long.
+
+One of the few people I came to know well in Cincinnati was John A.
+Cockerill. At that time he was the city editor on the _Enquirer_, and my
+devoted friend. We were both young, poor, energetic, ambitious. We
+exchanged confidences, plans, hopes, and dreams, and were as happy as
+possible so long as we were just plain friends, but as soon as sentiment
+pushed in and an engagement was acknowledged between us, we, as the
+farmer says:
+
+      "Quarrel'd and fit--and scratched and bit--"
+
+For John was jealous of my profession, which made my temper hot, and we
+were a queer engaged pair. I used to say to him: "It's just a question
+which one of us suicides first!"
+
+Yet on some days we would forget we were engaged and be quite cheerful
+and happy; and when I came back from New York, I cried: "Congratulate me,
+John, I've got an engagement, so we can't nag each other to death for a
+year at least!" and though that gave a lovely opening for a quarrel he
+passed it by, congratulating me very gently instead, but very sadly,
+adding: "You are getting so far ahead of me, dear--and you will learn to
+despise a man who comes toiling always behind you!"
+
+A statement that came so dangerously near the truth that it threw me into
+a passion, and we had a battle royal then and there. However, we parted
+in a gale of laughter, for as John suddenly discovered he was overstaying
+his intended short visit, he sprang up and grabbed his hat and exclaimed:
+"Well, good-by, Clara, we haven't indulged in much sentiment to-day,
+but," drawing a long, satisfied breath, "we've enjoyed a good lusty old
+row all the same!"
+
+No wonder we laughed. We were a rare engaged couple. Lovers? why Cupid
+had never even pointed an arrow at us for fun! We were chums--good
+fellows in sunny weather; loyal, active friends in time of trouble, and,
+after I came to New York, and found quarreling at length, with pen and
+ink, too fatiguing, I broke the engagement, and we were happy ever
+after--our friendship always standing firm through the years; and when,
+in the _Herald's_ interests, he started on that last long journey to
+report upon the Japanese-Chinese War, he said to me: "I never understood
+the meaning of the word friendship until that day when you flung all your
+natural caution--your calm good sense aside, and rushed through the first
+cheering message that reached me after that awful St. Louis shooting:
+'You acted in self-defence, I _know_--command any service from your
+faithful friend,' that's what you said, over your full name, while as yet
+you knew absolutely nothing. And when I realized that, guilty or
+innocent, you meant to stand by me, I--well, you and my blessed mother
+live in a little corner of my heart, just by your two loyal selves."
+
+And when he left me he carried on either cheek as affectionate a kiss as
+I knew how to put there, and again, and for the last time, we parted in a
+gale of laughter, as he cried: "You would have seen me in the bottomless
+pit before you would have done that in Cincinnati!"
+
+"Oh, well," I replied, "we both preferred quarreling to kissing in those
+days!"
+
+"Speak for yourself!" he laughed, and so we parted for all time.
+
+I had returned to my work in Cincinnati; had thanked the Washington and
+San Francisco managers for their offers of engagements, and was putting
+in some spare moments in worrying about the summer, when (without meaning
+to be irreverent) God opened a door right before me. Never, since I had
+closed a small geography at school, had I heard of "Halifax," save as a
+substitute for another place beginning with H, but here, all suddenly, I
+was invited to Halifax--not sent there in anger, for, oh, incredible! for
+a four, perhaps six, weeks' summer engagement. Was I not happy? Was I not
+grateful? One silver half-dollar did I recklessly give away to the Irish
+washerwoman, who had said: "God niver shuts one dure without openin'
+anither!" I could not help it, and she, being in trouble at the time,
+declared, with hope rising in her tired old eyes, that she would "at onct
+burn a waxen candle before the blissed Virgin!" Poor soul! I hope her
+loving offering found favor in the eyes of the gentle Saint she honored!
+
+I had a benefit in Cincinnati before the season closed, and so it came
+about that I was able to get my mother a spring gown and bonnet that she
+might go home in proper state to Cleveland for a visit; while I turned my
+face toward Halifax, the picturesque, to play a summer engagement, and
+then to make my way to New York and find a resting-place for my foot in
+some hotel, while I searched for rooms to which my mother might be
+summoned, for I had determined I could board no longer.
+
+If we had rooms we could make a little home in them. If we had still to
+go hungry, we could at least hunger after our own fashion, and endure our
+privations in decent privacy. So, with plans all made, I landed at
+Halifax and felt a shock of surprise, followed by a pang of
+homesickness, at the first sight of the scarlet splendor of the British
+flag waving against the pale blue sky, when instinctively my eyes had
+looked for the radiant beauty of Old Glory. The next thing that impressed
+me was the astonishing number of people who were in mourning. Men in
+shops, in offices, on the streets, were wearing crepe bands about their
+left arms, and women, like moving pillars of crepe, dotted the walks
+thickly, darkened the shops, and gloomed in private carriages. What does
+it mean? I asked. I never before saw so many people in black. And one
+made answer: "Ah, your question shows you are a stranger, or you would
+know that there are few well-to-do homes and _no_ business house in
+Halifax that does not mourn for at least one victim of that great mystery
+of the sea, the unexplained loss of the City of Boston--that monster
+steamer, crowded with youth and beauty, wealth, power, and brains!"
+
+I recalled then how, at the most fashionable wedding of the year in
+Cincinnati, the bride and groom had been dragged from the just-beginning
+wedding-breakfast, and rushed off at break-neck speed that they might be
+in time for the sailing of the City of Boston, and after her sailing no
+word ever came of her. What had been her fate no man knew--no man knows
+to-day. The ocean gave no sign, no clew, as it often has done in other
+disasters. It sent back no scrap of wood, of oar, of boat, of mast, of
+life-preserver--nothing, nothing! No fire had been sighted by other
+ships. Had she been in collision with an iceberg, been caught in the
+centre of a tornado, had she run upon a derelict, been stricken by
+lightning, been blown up by explosion? No answer had ever come from the
+mighty bosom of the deep, that will keep its grim secret until the awful
+day when, trembling at God's own command, it will give up its dead!
+Meantime thousands of tender ties were broken. The awful mystery
+shrouding the fate of the floating city turned more than one brain, and
+sent mourners to mad-houses to end their ruined lives. Halifax was a very
+sad city that summer.
+
+I met in the company there Mr. Leslie Allen (the father of Miss Viola
+Allen), Mr. Dan Maginnis (the Boston comedian), and Mr. John W. Norton.
+The future St. Louis manager was then leading man, and the friendship we
+formed while working together through those summer weeks was never
+broken, never clouded, but lasted fair and strong up to that very day
+when, sitting in the train on his way to New York, John Norton had, in
+that flashing moment of time, put off mortality.
+
+He had changed greatly from the John Norton of those early days. He had
+known cruel physical suffering, and while he had won friends and money,
+shame and bitter sorrow had been brought upon him by another. No wonder
+the laughing brightness had gone out of him. It was said that he believed
+in but two people on earth--Mary Anderson and Clara Morris, and he said
+of them: "One is a Catholic, the other an Episcopalian; they are
+next-door neighbors in religion; they are both honest, God-fearing women,
+and the only ones I bow my head to." Oh, poor man! to have grown so
+bitter! But in the Halifax days he loved his kind, and was as full of fun
+as a boy of ten, as full of kindness as would be the gentlest woman.
+
+Mr. Maginnis had his sister-in-law with him, a helpless invalid. She knew
+her days were numbered, yet she always faced us smilingly and with
+pleasant words. She was passionately fond of driving, but dreaded lonely
+outings; so clubbing together, that no one might feel a sense of
+obligation, we four, Dan and his sister, John Norton and I, used evenly
+to divide the expense of a big, comfortable carriage, and go on long,
+delightful drives about the outskirts of the gray old hilly city.
+
+The stolid publicity of Tommy Atkins's love-making had at first covered
+us with confusion, but we soon grew used to the sight of the scarlet
+sleeve about the willing waist in the most public places, while a loving
+smack, coming from the direction of a park bench, simply became a sound
+quite apropos to the situation.
+
+One yellow-haired, plaided and kilted young Highlander, whom I came upon
+in a public garden, just as he lifted his head from an explosive kiss on
+his sweetheart's lips, startled at my presence, flushing red, lifted his
+hand in a half-salute, and at the same moment, in laughing apologetic
+confusion, he--winked at me! And his flushing young face was so bonnie,
+that had I known how I believe in my heart I'd have winked back, just
+from sheer good-fellowship and understanding.
+
+In that short season I had one experience, the memory of which makes me
+pull a wry face to this day. I played _Juliet_ to a "woman-_Romeo_"--a so
+plump _Romeo_, who seemed all French heels, tights, and wig, with _Romeo_
+marked "absent." I little dreamed I was bidding a personal farewell to
+Shakespeare and the old classic drama, as I really was doing.
+
+One other memory of that summer engagement that sticks is of that
+performance of Boucicault's "Jessie Brown, or the Siege of Lucknow," in
+which real soldiers acted as supernumeraries, and having been too well
+treated beforehand and being moved by the play, they became so hot that
+they attacked the _mutineers_ not only with oaths but with clubbed
+muskets; and while blood was flowing and heads being cracked in sickening
+earnest on one side of the stage, a sudden wall-rending howl of derisive
+laughter rose from that part of the theatre favored by soldiers. I saw
+women holding programmes close, close to their eyes, and knew by that
+that something was awfully wrong.
+
+The Scotch laddies were pouring over the wall, coming to the rescue of
+the starving besieged. I looked behind me. The wall, a stage wall, was
+cleated down the middle to keep the join there firm, and no less than
+three of the soldiers had had portions of their clothing caught by the
+cleats as they scaled the wall. The cloth would not tear, the men were
+too mad to be able to see, and there they hung, kicking like fiends
+and--well, the words of a ginny old woman, who sold apples and oranges in
+front of the house, will explain the situation. She cried out, at the top
+of her voice: "Yah! yah! why do ye no pull down yer kilties, instead o'
+kickin' there? yah! yer no decent--do you ken?" and the curtain had to
+come whirling down before the proper time to save the lives of the men
+being pounded to death, and the feelings of the women who were being
+shamed to death.
+
+A surgeon had to attend to two heads before their owners could leave the
+theatre, and after that an officer was kind enough to come and take
+charge of the men loaned to the manager.
+
+Then I bade the people, whom I had found so pleasant, good-by--Mr. Louis
+Aldrich arriving as I was about leaving, keen, clever, active, full of
+visions, of plans, just as he is to-day. I and my little dog-companion
+made our way to New York. A lady and gentleman, traveling acquaintances,
+advised me to go to the St. Nicholas, and as all hotels looked alike to
+me I went there. My worst dread was the dining-room. I could not afford
+to take meals privately, yet how could I face that great roomful of
+people alone! At last I resolved on a plan of action. I went up to the
+head waiter--from his manner an invisible crown pressed his brow; his
+eyes gazed coldly above my humble head, his "Eh?--beg pardon!" was
+haughty and curt, yet, believe it or not, when I told him I was quite
+alone, and asked could he place me at some quiet retired table, he became
+human, he looked straightly and kindly at me. He himself escorted me, not
+to a seat in line with the kitchen smells or the pantry quarrels, as I
+had expected, but to a very retired, very pleasant table by an open
+window, and assured me the seat should be reserved for me every day of my
+stay, and only ladies seated there. I was grateful from my heart, and I
+mention it now simply to show the general willingness there is in America
+to aid, to oblige the unprotected woman traveler.
+
+Naturally anxious to find, as quickly as possible, a less expensive
+dwelling-place, I showed my utter ignorance of the city by the blunder I
+made in joyfully engaging rooms in a quiet old-fashioned brick house
+because it was on Twenty-first Street and the theatre was on
+Twenty-fourth, and the walk would be such a short one. All good New
+Yorkers will know just how "short" that walk was when I add that to reach
+the neat little brick house I had first to cross to Second Avenue, and,
+alas! for me on stormy nights, there was no cross-town car, then.
+
+However, the rooms were sunny and neatly furnished; the rent barely
+within my reach, but the entire Kiersted family were so unaffectedly kind
+and treated me so like a rather overweighted young sister that I could
+not have been driven away from the house with a stick. I telegraphed to
+mother to come. She came.
+
+To the waiter who feeling the crown upon his brow yet treated me with
+almost fatherly kindness, I gave a small parting offering and my thanks;
+and to the chambermaid also--she with the pure complexion, bred from
+buttermilk and potatoes, and the brogue rich and thick enough to cut
+with a knife--who had "discoursed" to me at great length on religion, on
+her own chances of matrimony, on the general plan of the city,
+describing the "lay" of the diagonal avenues, their crossing streets and
+occasional junctures, in such confusing terms that a listening
+city-father would have sent out and borrowed a blind man's dog to help
+him find his home. Still she had talked miles a day with the best
+intentions, and I made my small offering to her in acknowledgment, and
+leaving her very red with pleasure, I departed from the hotel. That
+blessed evening found my mother and me house-keeping at last--_at last_!
+And as we sat over our tea, little Bertie, on the piano-stool at my
+side, ate buttered toast; then, feeling license in the air, slipped
+down, crept under the table, and putting beseeching small paws on
+mother's knee, ate more buttered toast--came back to me and the
+piano-stool, and bringing forth all her blandishments pleaded for a lump
+of sugar. She knew it was wrong, she knew _I_ knew it was wrong, but,
+good heavens! it was our house-warming--Bertie got the sugar. So we were
+settled and happily ready to begin the new life in the great strange
+city.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-SECOND
+
+  I Recall Mr. John E. Owens, and How He "Settled my Hash."
+
+
+Just previous to my coming East I met, for the first time, Mr. John E.
+Owens. He was considered a wealthy man, and was at the height of his
+popularity as a comedian. He was odd, even his marriage seemed an
+expression of eccentricity, and one felt as if one had received a dash of
+cold water in the face when the hot-tempered, peppery, and decidedly
+worldly Mr. Owens presented the little orthodox Quakeress, with a
+countenance of gentle severity, as his wife.
+
+She wore the costume of her people, too, and watched him above her
+knitting-needles with folded lips and condemning eye as he strutted and
+fumed and convulsed his audience. She was said to be a most tender and
+gentle nurse and, indeed, a devoted wife, but she certainly seemed to
+look down upon theatrical life and people.
+
+Mr. Owens was telling me she was a clever business woman, with a quick
+eye for a good investment, when I jestingly answered: "That seems to be a
+peculiarity of the sect--thee will recall the fact that William Penn
+showed that same quality of eye in his beautiful and touching relations
+with the shrewd and knowing Indians," and in the middle of his laugh, his
+mouth shut suddenly, his eyes rolled: "Oh, Lord!" he said, "you've done
+for yourself--she heard you, your fate's fixed!"
+
+"But," I exclaimed, "I was just joking."
+
+"No go!" he answered, mournfully, "the eye that can see the main chance
+so clearly is blind to a joke. She has you down now on her list of the
+ungodly. No use trying to explain--I gave that up years ago. Fact of the
+matter is, when that Quakeress-wife of mine puts her foot down--I--well,
+I take mine up, but hers stays right there."
+
+Mr. Owens was of medium height and very brisk in all his movements,
+walking with a short and quick little step. He had a wide mouth, good
+teeth, and a funny pair of eyes. The eyeballs were very large and round,
+and he showed an astonishing amount of their whites, which were of an
+unusual brilliancy and lustre; this, added to his power of rolling them
+wildly about in their sockets, made them very funny; indeed, they
+reminded many people of a pair of large peeled onions.
+
+I think his most marked peculiarity was his almost frantic desire to
+provoke laughter in the actors about him. He would willingly throw away
+an entire scene--that is, destroy the illusion of the audience--in order
+to secure a hearty laugh from some actor or actress whom he knew not to
+be easily moved to laughter; and what was more astonishing still, if an
+actress in playing a scene with him fell from tittering into helpless
+laughter and failed to speak her lines, he made no angry protest, but
+regarded the situation with dancing eyes and delighted smiles, seeming to
+accept the breakdown as proof positive that he was irresistible as a
+fun-maker.
+
+For some reason I never could laugh at "Solon Shingle." Mr. Owens had
+opened in that part, and as I stood in the entrance watching the
+performance, my face was as grave as that of the proverbial judge. He
+noticed it at once, and paused a moment to stare at me. Next morning,
+just as he entered and crossed to the prompt-table at rehearsal, I, in
+listening to a funny story, broke out in my biggest laugh. Open flew the
+star's eyes, up slid his eyebrows.
+
+"Ha! ha!" said he, "ha! ha! there's a laugh for you--by Jove, that's a
+laugh as is a laugh!"
+
+I turned about and faced him. He recognized me instantly. "Well, blast my
+cats!" he exclaimed, "say, you young hyena, you're the girl that wouldn't
+laugh at me last night. I thought you couldn't, and just listen to your
+roars now over some tomfoolery. What was the matter with me, if you
+please, mum?"
+
+I stood in helpless, awkward embarrassment, then, drawing in his lip and
+bulging out his eyes until they threatened to leap from their places, he
+advanced upon me, exclaiming: "Spare me these protestations and
+explanations, I beg!" then tapped me on the chest with his forefinger
+and, added, in a different tone: "My young friend, I'll make you laugh or
+I'll cut my throat!" next turned on his heel, and called: "Everybody
+ready for the first act? Come on, come on, let's get at it!"
+
+Rehearsal began and Mr. Owens did not have to cut his throat.
+
+Funny in many things, it was the old farce of "Forty Winks" that utterly
+undid me, and not only sat me violently and flatly down upon the entrance
+floor, but set me shrieking with such misguided force that next day all
+the muscles across and near my diaphragm were too lame and sore for me to
+catch a breath in comfort. Perhaps that's not the right word, and I may
+not be locating the lamed muscles properly, but if you will go to see
+some comedian who will make you laugh until you cry, and cry until you
+scream, and laugh and cry and scream until you only breathe in gasps and
+sobs, you will next morning know exactly which muscles I have been
+referring to--even if you haven't got a diaphragm about you.
+
+But really the mad absurdities Mr. Owens indulged in that night might
+have made the very Sphinx smile stonily. As a miserly old man, eating his
+bread-and-cheese supper in his cheap little bedroom, and retiring for the
+night only to be aroused by officers who are in pursuit of a flying man,
+and think they have now found him. Not much to go upon, that, but, oh, if
+you could have seen his ravening hunger; have seen his dog-like snaps at
+falling crumbs; his slanting of the plate against the light to see if any
+streak of butter was being left; his scooping up of bread-crumbs from
+his red-handkerchief lap, and eager licking up of the same; have seen him
+sorting out his money and laying aside the thin, worn pennies to give the
+waiter; breaking off the hardened grease that in melting had run down the
+candle's side, putting it away in his valise, "to grease his boots next
+winter" (a line he introduced for my especial benefit).
+
+Having gone up-stage and taken off his shoes, he suddenly bethought him
+that there might be a few crumbs on the floor, and taking his candle,
+down he came to look, and turning his back to the audience, they screamed
+with sudden laughter, for two shining bare heels were plainly showing
+through his ragged black woollen socks. He paid no heed, but sought
+diligently, and when he found a crumb he put his finger to his lip to
+moisten it, and pouncing upon the particle, conveyed it to his mouth, and
+mumbled so luxuriously one almost envied him. Then, remarking that it was
+too cold to undress, he undressed, and as his coat came off he started
+toward a chair, saying, querulously: "He couldn't abide a man that wasn't
+neat and careful about his clothes," and down he pitched the coat in a
+heap upon the floor in front of the chair. His vest he dumped beside
+another seat, as he dolorously declared: "He had neat habits ever since
+his mother had taught him to put his clothes carefully on the chair at
+night."
+
+And so he went up and down and about, until that stage was one litter of
+old clothes. Blowing out his candle he got into bed, and, shivering with
+cold, tried frantically to pull the clothes over his poor shoulders--but
+all in vain. At last a tremendous jerk brought the quilt and sheet about
+his shoulders, only to leave his ancient black feet facing the audience,
+all uncovered. And so went on the struggle between feet and shoulders
+until, worn out, the old man finally "spooned" himself with knees in
+chest, and so was covered and fell asleep, only to be aroused by
+officers, and turned into driveling idiocy by a demand "for the girl."
+
+It was at the point when, sitting up in bed, trying, with agonizing
+modesty, to keep covered up, his eyes whitely and widely rolling, he
+pleadingly asked: "N-n-now I, leave it to you--do I look like a seducer?"
+that my knees abandoned me to my fate, and sat me down with a vicious
+thud that nearly shook the life out of me. And John Owens sat in bed and
+saw my fall and rejoiced with a great joy, and said: "Blast my cats--look
+at the girl! there, now, that's something like laughing. I'd take off my
+hair and run around bald-headed for her!"
+
+I was called upon to play blind _Bertha_ to Mr. Owens's _Caleb Plummer_
+in the "Cricket on the Hearth," and I was in a great state of mind, as I
+had only seen one or two blind persons, and had never seen a blind part
+acted. I was driven at last by anxiety to ask Mr. Owens if he could make
+any suggestions as to business, or as to the walk or manner of the blind
+girl. But he was no E. L. Davenport, he had no desire to teach others to
+act, and he snappishly answered: "No--no! I can't suggest anything for
+you to do--but I can suggest something for you not to do! For God's sake
+don't go about playing the piano all evening--that's what the rest of 'em
+do!"
+
+"The piano?" I repeated, stupidly.
+
+"Yes," he said, "the piano! D----d if they don't make me sick! Here they
+go--all the '_Berthas_'!"
+
+He closed his eyes, screwed up his face dismally, and advancing, his
+hands before him, began moving them from left to right and back, as
+though they were on a keyboard. It was very ridiculous.
+
+"And that's what they call blindness--playing the piano and tramping
+about as securely as anybody!"
+
+Ah, ah! Mr. Owens, you did make a suggestion after all, though you did
+not mean to do it, but I found one all the same in that last contemptuous
+sentence, "_tramping about as securely as anybody_." It quickened my
+memory--I recalled the piteous uncertainty of movement in the blind; the
+dread hesitancy of the advancing foot, unless the afflicted one was on
+very familiar ground. I tried walking in the dark, tried walking with
+closed eyes. It was surprising how quickly my fears gathered about my
+feet. Instinctively I put out one hand now and then, but the fear of
+bumping into something was as nothing to the fear of stepping off or
+down, or falling through the darkness--oh!
+
+Then I resolved to play _Bertha_ with open eyes. It was much the more
+difficult way, but I was well used to taking infinite pains over small
+matters, and believing that the open, unseeing eye was far more pathetic
+than the closed eye, I proceeded to work out my idea of how to produce
+the unseeing look. By careful experiment I found that if the eyes were
+very calm in expression, very slow in movement, and at all times were
+raised slightly above the proper point of vision, the effect was really
+that of blindness.
+
+It was unspeakably fatiguing to keep looking just above people's heads,
+instead of into their faces, as was my habit, but where is the true actor
+or actress who stops to count the cost in pain or in inconvenience when
+striving to build up a character that the public may recognize? Says the
+ancient cook-book: "First catch your hare, and then--"; so with the
+actor, first catch your idea, your desired effect, and _then_ reproduce
+it (if you can). But in the case of blind _Bertha_ I must have reproduced
+with some success the effect I had been studying, for an old newspaper
+clipping beside me says that: "The doubting, hesitating advance of her
+foot, the timid uncertainty of her occasional investigating hand spelled
+blindness as clearly as did her patient unseeing eyes," and for my reward
+that wretched man amused himself by pulling faces at me and trying to
+break me down in my singing of "Auld Robin Grey," until I was obliged to
+sing with my eyes tight shut to save myself from laughter; and when the
+curtain had fallen he said to me: "I'll settle your hash for you some
+night, young woman, you see if I don't--you just wait now!" And the next
+season, in Cincinnati, in very truth, he did "settle my hash" for me, to
+his great delight and my vexation.
+
+He was so very, very funny as _Major Wellington de Boots_ in "Everybody's
+Friend"; his immense self-satisfaction, his stiff little strut, his
+martial ardor, his wild-eyed cowardice were trying enough, but when he
+deliberately acted _at_ you--oh, dear! He would look me straight in the
+eye and make faces at me, until I sobbed at every breath. Then he had a
+wretched little trick of rising slowly on his toes and sinking back to
+his heels again, while he cocked his head to one side so like a knowing
+old dicky-bird that he simply convulsed me with laughter.
+
+I was his _Mrs. Swansdown_, and I had kept steady and never lost a line,
+until we came to the scene where, as my landlord and would-be husband, he
+brought some samples of wall-paper for me to choose from. Where, in
+heaven's name, he ever found those rolls of paper I can't imagine. They
+were not merely hideous but grotesque as well, and were received with
+shouts of laughter by the house.
+
+With true shopman's touch, he would send each piece unrolling toward the
+footlights, while holding up its breadth of ugliness for _Mrs.
+Swansdown's_ inspection and approval, and every piece that he thus
+displayed he greeted at first sight with words of hearty admiration for
+its beauty and perfect suitability, until, catching disapproval on the
+widow's face, he in the same breath, with lightning swift hypocrisy,
+turned his sentence into contemptuous disparagement, and fairly shook his
+audience with laughter at the quickness of his change of opinion.
+
+At last he unfurled a piece of paper whose barbarity of design and
+criminality of color I remember yet. The dead-white ground was widely and
+alternately striped with a dark Dutch blue and a dingy chocolate brown,
+and about the blue stripes there twined a large pumpkin-colored
+morning-glory, while from end to end the brown stripes were solemnly
+pecked at by small magenta birds. The thing was as ludicrous as it was
+ugly--an Indian clay-idol might have cracked into smiles of derision over
+its artistic qualities.
+
+Then Mr. Owens, bursting into encomiums over its desirability as a
+hanging for the drawing-room walls of a modest little retreat, caught my
+frown, and continued: "Er--er, or perhaps you'd prefer it as trousering?"
+then, delightedly: "Yes--yes, you're quite right, it _is_ a neat
+thing--cut full at the knee, eh? Close at the foot, yes, yes, I see,
+regular peg-tops--great idea! I'll send you a pair at once. Oh, good
+Lord! what have I done! I--I--mean, I'll have a pair myself, _Mrs.
+Swansdown_, cut from this very piece of your sweet selection!"
+
+Ah, well! that ended the scene so far as my help went. The shrieking
+audience drowned my noise for a time, but, alas, _it_ recovered directly,
+having no hysterics to battle with, while I buried my head deep in the
+sofa-pillows and rolled and screamed and wept and bit my lips, clinched
+my hands, and vainly fought for my self-control; while all the time I saw
+a pair of trousers cut from that awful wall-paper, and Mr. Owens just
+bulged his white shiny eyes at me and pranced about and rejoiced at my
+downfall, while the audience, seeing what the trouble was, laughed all
+over again, and--and--well, "my hash" was very thoroughly "settled," even
+to the entire satisfaction of Mr. Owens's self.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-THIRD
+
+  From the "Wild West" I Enter the Eastern "Parlor of Home Comedy"--I
+  Make my First Appearance in "Man and Wife."
+
+
+The original Fifth Avenue Theatre was a tiny affair, with but small
+accommodation for the public and none at all for the actor, unless he
+burrowed for it beneath the building; and indeed the deep, long basement
+was wonderfully like a rabbit-warren, with all its net-work of narrow
+passageways, teeming with life and action. The atmosphere down there was
+dreadful--I usually prefer using a small word instead of a large one, but
+it would be nonsense to speak of the "air" in that green-room, because
+there was none. Atmosphere was there stagnant, heavy, dead, with not even
+an electric fan to stir it up occasionally, and the whole place was
+filled with the musty, mouldy odor that always arises from carpets spread
+in sunless, airless rooms. Gas, too, burned in every tiny room, in every
+narrow slip of passageway, and though it was all immaculately clean, it
+was still wonderful how human beings endured so many hours imprisonment
+there.
+
+It was on a very hot September morning that the company was called
+together in the green-room of the Fifth Avenue Theatre. This first "call"
+of the season is generally given over to greetings after the vacation, to
+chattings, to introductions, to welcomes, and a final distribution of
+parts in the first play, and a notification to be on hand promptly next
+morning for work. With a heavily throbbing heart I prepared for the
+dreaded first meeting with all these strange people, and when I grew
+fairly choky, I would say to myself, "What nonsense, Mr. Daly or the
+prompter will be there, and in the general introductions you will, of
+course, be included, and after that you will be all right--a smile, a
+bow, or a kind word will cost no more in a New York theatre than in any
+other one," which goes to prove what a very ignorant young person I was
+then. In looking back to that time, I often drop into the habit of
+considering myself as another person, and sometimes I am sorry for the
+girl of that day, and say: "You poor thing, if you had only known!" or
+again, "What wasted trust--what needless sorrow, too!" But I was then
+like the romping, trusting, all-loving puppy-dog who believes every
+living being his friend, until a kick or a blow convinces him to the
+contrary.
+
+I had two dresses, neither one really fit for the occasion, but I put on
+the best one, braided my mass of hair into the then proper _chatelaine_
+braids, and found comfort in them, and encouragement in a fresh,
+well-fitting pair of gloves. At half-past ten o'clock I entered the
+underground green-room. Two young men were there before me. I slightly
+bent my head, and one responded doubtfully, but the other, with the
+blindness of stone in his eyes, bowed not at all. I sat down in a
+corner--the stranger always seeks a corner; can that be an instinct, a
+survival from the time when a tribe fell upon the stranger, and with the
+aid of clubs informed him of their strength and power? Anyway, as I said,
+I sat in a corner. There was the carpet, the great mirror, the cushioned
+bench running clear around the room, and that was all--oh, no! on the
+wall, of course, there hung that shallow, glass-covered frame or cabinet
+called, variously, "the call-board," the "call-case," or even the
+"call-box." It is the official voice of the manager--when the "call-case"
+commands, all obey. There, in writing, one finds the orders for next
+day's rehearsal; there one finds the cast of characters in the plays;
+there, too, the requests for the company's aid, on such a day, for such a
+charity benefit appears. Ah, a great institution is the "call-case,"
+being the manager's voice, but not his ears, which is both a comfort and
+an advantage at times to all concerned.
+
+That day I glanced at it; it was empty. The first call and cast of the
+season would be put up presently. I wondered how many disappointments it
+would hold for me. Then there was a rustle of skirts, a tapping of heels,
+a young woman gayly dressed rushed in, a smile all ready for--oh! she
+nodded briefly to the young men, then she saw me--she looked full at me.
+The puppy-dog trust arose in me, I was a stranger, she was going to bow,
+perhaps smile! Oh, how thankful I am that I was stopped in time, before I
+had betrayed that belief to her. Her face hardened, her eyes leisurely
+scorched up and down my poor linen gown, then she turned frowningly to
+the glass, patted her bustle into shape, and flounced out again. I felt
+as though I had received a blow. Then voices, loudly laughing male
+voices, approached, and three men came in, holding their hats and mopping
+their faces. They "bah-Joved" a good deal, and one, big and noisy, with a
+young face topped with perfect baldness, bowed to me courteously, the
+others did not see me.
+
+Where, I thought, was the manager all this time? Then more laughter, and
+back came my flouncy young woman and two of her kind with her; pretty,
+finely dressed, badly bred women, followed by one whom I knew instantly.
+One I had heard much of, one to whom I had a letter of introduction--I
+have it still, by the way. She was gray even then, plain of feature, but
+sweet of voice and very gentle of manner. I lifted my head higher. Of
+course she would not know me from sole-leather, but she would see I was a
+stranger and forlornly alone, and besides, being already secure in her
+position in the company--she was its oldest member--and therefore, in a
+certain measure, a hostess, and as my mere presence in the green-room
+showed I was a professional of some sort or quality, both authority and
+kindness would prompt her to a bow, a smile, perhaps a pleasant word. I
+looked hungrily at her, her bright, small eyes met mine, swept swiftly
+over me, and then she slowly turned her black silk back upon me, the
+stranger in her gate; and as I swallowed hard at the lump Mrs. Gilbert's
+gentle indifference had brought to my throat, my old sense of fun came
+uppermost, and I said to myself: "No morning is lost in which one learns
+something, and I have discovered that covering a club neatly in velvet
+improves its appearance, without in the least detracting from the force
+of its blow."
+
+And then the passage resounded with laughter and heel-taps, the small
+room filled full; there was a surging of silken gowns, a mingling of
+perfumes and of voices, high and excited, and, I must add, affected; much
+handshaking, many explosive kisses, and then, down the other passageway,
+came more gentlemen. They were a goodly crowd--well groomed, well
+dressed, manly fellows, and all in high good-humor, except Mr. Davidge,
+but, in mercy's name! who ever saw, who would have wished to see "rare
+old Bill" in a good humor?
+
+Such gay greetings as were exchanged around about and even over me, since
+my hat was twice knocked over my eyes by too emphatic embracings in such
+crowded quarters--and still no manager, no prompter. When they quieted
+down a bit, everyone took stock of me. It would have been a trying
+position even had I been properly gowned, but as it was the
+ill-suppressed titters of two extravagantly gowned nonentities and the
+swift, appraising glances of the others kept me in agony.
+
+Suddenly a quick step was heard approaching. I nearly laughed aloud in
+all my misery at their lightning-quick change of manner. Silence, as of
+the grave, came upon them. They all faced toward the coming
+steps--anxious-eyed, but with smiles just ready to tremble on to their
+lips at an instant's notice. Never had I seen anything so like
+trick-poodles. They were ready to do "dead dog," or jump over a chair, or
+walk on two legs--ready, too, for either the bone or the blow. I knew
+from their strained attitude of attention who was coming, and next
+moment, tall and thin and dour, Mr. Daly stood in the doorway. He neither
+bowed nor smiled, but crossly asked: "Is Miss Morris here?"
+
+Everyone looked reproachfully at everyone else for not being the desired
+person. Then as the managerial frown deepened, from my corner I lifted a
+rather faint voice in acknowledgment of my presence, saying: "Yes, sir, I
+am here," and he gave that peculiar "huh!" of his, which seemed to be a
+combination of groan and snort, and instantly disappeared again.
+
+Oh, dear! oh, dear! I had felt myself uncomfortable before, but now? It
+was as if I had sprung up and shouted: "Say! I'm Miss Morris!" Everyone
+gazed at me openly now, as if I were a conundrum and they were trying to
+guess me. I honestly believe I should have broken down under the strain
+in a moment more, but fortunately a slender little man made his silent
+appearance at one of the doors and took off his immaculate silk hat,
+revealing the thin, blond hair, the big, pale blue pop-eyes of James
+Lewis. Twenty minutes ago my heart would have jumped at sight of him, but
+I had had a lesson. I expected no greeting now, even from a former
+friend. I sat quite still, simply grateful that his coming had taken the
+general gaze from my miserable face. He shook hands all round, glanced at
+me and passed by, then looked back, came back, held out his hand, saying:
+"You stuck-up little brute, I knew you in aprons and pig-tails, and now
+you ain't going to speak to me; how are you, Clara?"
+
+While I was huskily answering him, a big woman appeared at the door. Her
+garments were aggressively rich, and lockets (it was a great year for
+lockets) dangled from both wrists, from her watch-chain, and from her
+neck-chain. She glittered with diamonds--in a street-dress which might
+also have answered for a dinner-dress. I laughed to myself as I thought
+what a prize she would be for pirates. Then I looked at her handsome face
+and, as our eyes met, we recognized each other perfectly, but my lesson
+being learned I made no sign, I had no wish to presume, and she--looked
+over my head.
+
+M. Benot, the Frenchman who died in harness early in the season, poor
+little gentleman! came in then with the MSS. and the parts of the play,
+"Man and Wife." Silence came upon the company. As M. Benot called Mr. or
+Miss So-and-so, he or she advanced and received the part assigned to
+them. "Miss Clara Morris!" I rose stiffly--I had sat so long in my
+corner--and received rather a bulky part. I bowed silently and resumed my
+seat, but the place was for a moment only a black, windy void; I had seen
+the name on my part--I was cast for _Blanche_, a comedy part!
+
+As I came back to my real surroundings, M. Benot was saying: "Eleven
+o'clock sharp to-morrow, ladies and gentlemen, for rehearsal."
+
+People began hurrying out. I waited a little, till nearly all were gone,
+whispering "Miss Ethel for _Anne_, Miss Ethel for _Anne_" when the
+handsome "Argosy of wealth" sailed up to me, and, in a voice of sweet
+uncertainty, said: "I wonder if you can possibly recognize me?"
+
+"Oh, yes," I answered, smiling broadly, "we recognized each other at the
+moment you entered, Miss Newton."
+
+She reddened and stammered something about "not being quite sure--and out
+West, and now here," and as she was even prettier than when I had last
+seen her, I told her so, and--we were happy ever after.
+
+Then I slipped out of the theatre and crossed to Twenty-first Street
+safely, but could control my grief and pain, my mortification and my
+disappointment, no longer. Tears would have their way, and I held my
+sunshade low before my tear-washed, grieving face. Those little
+ill-suppressed smiles at my clothes, those slightly lifted eyebrows, and
+there was not even a single introduction to shelter me to-morrow, and as
+to _Blanche_, oh, I thought "let her wait till I get home!"
+
+At last mother opened the door for me. I flung the hat from my aching
+head, and as she silently tied a wet handkerchief about my throbbing
+temples, I blurted out three words: "_A comedy part!_" and fell face
+downward on the bed, and cried until there was not a tear left in me, and
+considering my record as a shedder of tears, that's saying a good deal.
+Afterward I knelt down and hid my shamed face in the pillow and asked
+forgiveness from the ever-pitiful and patient One above, and prayed for a
+clear understanding of the part entrusted to me. Oh, don't be shocked. I
+have prayed over my work all my life long, and I can't think the Father
+despises any labor that is done to His honor. And I humbly gave over my
+further thought of _Anne_, and praying pardon for the folly of "kicking
+against the pricks" and wasting my scant strength in useless passion, I
+retired, at peace with myself, the world, and even _Blanche_.
+
+Next morning a curious thing happened. I heard, or thought I heard, the
+words: "The first shall be last and the last shall be first," and I
+called from my bed: "Did you speak to me, mother?" and she answered,
+"No."
+
+As I sat over my coffee and rolls, I said, absently: "The first shall be
+last, and the _last_ shall be first."
+
+"What do you mean?" mother asked.
+
+"Nothing," I said. "The words were in my ears when I awoke, and they keep
+coming back to me."
+
+I rose and dressed for rehearsal. As I drew on my gloves I heard a
+hurried voice asking for me in the hall. I recognized it as M. Benot's.
+My heart sank like lead--was even the comedy part to be taken from me? I
+opened the door. Out of breath, the little man gasped: "I so come quite
+quick for Monsieur Da-_lay_. He make me to ask you right away, very
+quick, can you play that part of _Anne_?"
+
+My breath came in gasps, I might have been the runner! I answered,
+briefly: "Yes!"
+
+"Then," said he, "here give you to me that other part, _Blanche_."
+
+I gave it joyously.
+
+"Take you now this of _Anne_ and make of the great haste to Monsieur
+Da-_lay's_ office, before--_comprenez-vous_--before that you go on the
+stage, or see anyone else, he want you to make some lies, I tink, so you
+best hurry!"
+
+"Mother, mother!" I cried. As she ran, I held out to her the part, _Anne
+Sylvester_, written large on it. She looked, and said: "The last shall be
+first!" and kissing me, pushed me toward the stairs.
+
+I almost ran in my anxiety to obey orders; my mind was in a state of
+happy confusion--what could it all mean? The announcement had been
+distinctly made only yesterday that Miss Agnes Ethel would play _Anne_.
+Was she ill? Had she met with an accident? And why should Mr. Daly wish
+to see me privately? Could he be going to ask me to read the part over to
+him? Oh, dear, heaven forbid! for I could much more successfully fly up
+into the blue sky.
+
+The stairs that led down from the sidewalk to the stage-door passed
+across the one, the only, window of the entire basement, which let a
+modicum of light into a tiny den, intended originally for the janitor's
+use, but taken by Mr. Daly for his private office. Here the great guiding
+intelligence of the entire establishment was located. Here he dreamed
+dreams and spun webs, watching over the incomings, the outgoings, the
+sayings and the doings of every soul in the company. He would have even
+regulated their thoughts, if he could. I once said to him, after a
+rehearsal: "If you could, sir, while in the theatre at least, you would
+force us all to think only 'Hail, Daly!'"
+
+He laughed a little, and then rather grimly remarked: "That speech made
+to anyone else would have cost you five dollars, Miss Morris. But if you
+have absolutely _no_ reverence, neither have you fear, so let it pass,"
+and I never said "Thank you" more sincerely in my life, for I could ill
+afford jests at five dollars apiece.
+
+But that morning of the first rehearsal, as I hurried down the stairs,
+the shade was drawn up high, and through the window I saw Mr. Daly
+sitting, swinging about, in his desk-chair. Before I could tap, he called
+for me to enter. He was very pale, very rumpled, very tired-looking. He
+wasted no time over greetings or formalities, but curtly asked: "Can you
+play _Anne Sylvester_?"
+
+And, almost as curtly, I answered: "Yes, sir!"
+
+The calm certainty of my tone seemed to comfort him; he relaxed his
+seemingly strained muscles, and sank back into his chair. He passed his
+long, thin fingers wearily across his closed eyes several times, then, as
+he opened them, he asked, sharply: "Can you obey orders?"
+
+"Yes," I answered, "I've been obeying orders all my life long."
+
+"Well," he said, "can you keep quiet--that's the thing. Can you keep
+quiet about this part?"
+
+I stared silently at him.
+
+"This thing is between ourselves. Now, are you going to tell the people
+all about when you received it?"
+
+I smiled a little bitterly as I replied: "I am hardly likely to tell my
+business affairs to people who do not speak to me."
+
+He looked up quickly, for I stood all the time, and asked: "What's that,
+don't speak to you? Were you not welcomed----"
+
+I broke his speech with laughter, but he would not smile: "Were you not
+properly treated? Who was lacking in courtesy?"
+
+"Oh, please," I hurried, "don't blame anyone. You see there were no
+introductions made, and of course I should have remembered that the
+hospitality of the East is more--er--well, cautious than that of the
+West, and besides I must look very woolly and wild to your people."
+
+"Ah!" he broke in, "then in a measure the fault is mine, since worry and
+trouble kept me away from the green-room. But Benot should have made
+introductions in my place--and--well, I'm ashamed of the women! cats!
+cats!"
+
+"Oh, no!" I laughed, "not yet, surely not yet!"
+
+Suddenly he returned to the part: "You will tell the people that you were
+to play _Anne_ in the first place."
+
+"But, Mr. Daly," I cried, "the whole company saw me receive the part of
+_Blanche_."
+
+He gnawed at the end of his mustache in frowning thought. "One woman to
+whom it belongs refuses the part," he said; "another woman, who can't
+play it, demands it from me, and I want to stop her mouth by making her
+believe the part was given to you before I knew her desire for it--do you
+see?"
+
+Yes, with round-eyed astonishment, I saw that this almost tyrannically
+high-handed ruler had someone to placate--someone to deceive.
+
+"You will therefore tell the people you received _Anne_ last night."
+
+I was silent, hot, miserable.
+
+"Do you hear?" he asked, angrily. "Good God! everything goes wrong. The
+idiot that was to dramatize the story of "Man and Wife" for me has failed
+in his work; the play is announced, and I have been up all night writing
+and arranging a last act for it myself. If Miss Davenport thinks she has
+been refused _Anne_, she will take her revenge by refusing to play
+_Blanche_, and the cast is so full it will require all my people--you
+_must_ say you received the part last night!"
+
+"Mr. Daly," I said, "won't you please trust to my discretion. I don't
+like lying, even for my daily bread, but if silence is golden, a discreet
+silence is away above rubies."
+
+He struck his hand angrily on the desk before him: "Miss Morris, when I
+give an order----"
+
+Up went my head: "Mr. Daly, I have nothing to do with your private
+affairs; any business order----"
+
+Heaven knows where we would have brought up had not a sudden darkness
+come into the little room--a woman quickly passed the window. Mr. Daly
+sprang to his feet, caught my fingers in a frantic squeeze, and pushing
+me from the door rapidly, said: "Yes--yes--well, do your best with it.
+I'm very glad Benot found you last night!" Then turning to the new-comer,
+who had not been present the day before, he cheerfully exclaimed: "Well,
+you didn't lose to-day's train, I see! I have a charming comedy part for
+you--come in!"
+
+She went in, and the storm broke, for as I felt my way through the
+passage leading to the stage-stairs, I heard its rolling and rumbling,
+and two dimly-seen men in front of me laughed, while one, pointing over
+his shoulder, toward the office, sneered, meaningly: "Ethel stock is
+going down, isn't it?"
+
+And almost I wished I was back in a family theatre.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-FOURTH
+
+  I Rehearse Endlessly--I Grow Sick with Dread--I Meet with Success in
+  _Anne Sylvester_.
+
+
+Up-stairs I found a bare stage, as is often the case for a first mere
+reading of parts, and most of the company sitting on camp-stools,
+chatting and laughing. Already M. Benot had announced the change in the
+cast, and people looked at me in perfect stupefaction: "Good heavens!
+what a risk he is taking! Who on earth is she, anyway?" and I cleared my
+throat in mercy to the speaker, who didn't know I stood behind her.
+
+That morning I was introduced to a number of the ladies and gentlemen,
+but it was a mere baptism of water, not of the spirit. I was not one of
+them. Understand, no one was openly rude to me, everyone bowed a
+"good-morning," but, well, you can bow a good-morning over a large iron
+fence with a fast-locked gate in it. That my dresses of gray linen or of
+white linen struck them as being funny in September is not to be wondered
+at, yet they must have known that necessity forced me to wear them, and
+that their smiles were not always effaced quickly enough to spare me a
+cruel pang. And my amazement grew day by day at their own extravagance of
+dress. Some of the ladies wore a different costume each day during the
+entire rehearsal of the play. How, I wondered, could they do it? Two of
+them, Miss Kate Claxton and Miss Newton, had husbands to pay their bills,
+I found, and Miss Linda Dietz--the gentlest, most sweetly-courteous
+creature imaginable--had parents and a home; but the magnificence of the
+others remained an unsolvable mystery.
+
+Another thing against me was, I could not act even the least bit at
+rehearsal. Foreign actors will act in cold blood at a daylight rehearsal,
+but few Americans can do it. I read my lines with intelligence, but gave
+no sign of what I intended to do at night. Of course that made Mr. Daly
+suffer great anxiety, but he said nothing, only looked at me with such
+troubled, anxious eyes that I felt sorry for him. One gentleman, however,
+decided that I was--not to put too fine a point upon it--"a lunk-head."
+He treated me with supercilious condescension, varied occasionally with
+overbearing tyranny. Just one person in the theatre knew that I was
+really a good actress, of considerable experience, and that was James
+Lewis; and from a tricksy spirit of mischief he kept the silence of a
+graven image, and when Mr. Dan Harkins took me aside to teach me to act,
+Lewis would retire to a quiet spot and writhe with suppressed laughter.
+
+One day he said to me: "Say, you ain't cooking up a huge joke on these
+gas-balloons, are you, Clara? And upon my soul you are doing it well--you
+act as green as a cucumber."
+
+And never did I succeed in convincing him that I had not engineered a
+great joke on the company by deceptive rehearsing. One tiny incident
+seemed to give Mr. Daly a touch of confidence in me. In the "Inn scene" a
+violent storm was raging, and at a critical moment the candle was
+supposed to be blown out by a gust of wind from the left door, as one of
+the characters entered. They were using a mechanical device for
+extinguishing the candle, and it was tried several times one morning, and
+always, to my surprise, from the _right_ side of the stage. No one seemed
+to notice anything odd, though the flame streamed out good and long in
+the wrong direction before going out. At last I ventured, as I was the
+principal in the scene: "I beg your pardon, gentlemen, but is it not the
+wind from the open door that blows that light out?"
+
+Then, quick and sharp, mine enemy was upon me: "This is _our_ affair,
+Miss Morris."
+
+"Yes," I answered, "but the house will laugh if the candle goes out
+_against_ the storm," and Mr. Daly sprang up, and, smiling his first
+kindly smile at me, said: "What the deuce have we all been thinking
+of--you're right, the candle must be extinguished from the _left_," and
+as I glanced across the stage I saw Lewis doing some neat little dancing
+steps all by himself.
+
+The rehearsals were exhausting in the extreme, the heat was unnatural,
+the walk far too long, and, well, to be frank, I had not nearly enough to
+eat. My anxiety was growing hourly, my strength began to fail, and at the
+last rehearsals, white as wax from weakness, I had to be carried up the
+stairs to the stage. Having such a quick study, requiring but few
+rehearsals, I was from the fourth day ready at any moment to go on and
+play my part. Fancy, then, what a waste of strength there was in forcing
+me, day after day, to go over long, important scenes--three, five, even
+seven times of a morning for the benefit of one amateur actress, who
+simply could not remember to-day what she had been told yesterday. It was
+foolish, it was risking a breakdown, when they had no one to put in my
+place. Mr. William Davidge was the next greatest sufferer, and as an
+experienced old actor he hotly resented being called back to go over a
+scene, again and again, "that a 'walking vanity' might be taught her
+business at his expense!"
+
+And though I liked and admired the "walking vanity" (who did not in the
+least deserve the name), I did think the manner of her training was
+costly and unjust, and one morning, just before the production of the
+play, I--luckily as it would seem--lost my self-control for a moment, and
+created a small sensation. In my individual case, fainting is always
+preceded by a moment of total darkness, and that again by a sound in my
+ears as of a rushing wind. That morning, as I finished the sixth
+repetition of _Anne's_ big scene with _Lady Glenarm_, the warning whir
+was already in my ears, when the order came to go over it again, "that
+_Mrs. Glenarm_ might be quite easy." It was too much--a sudden rage
+seized upon me: "_Mrs. Glenarm_ will only be quite easy when the rest of
+us are dead!" I remarked as I took my place again, and when I received my
+cue I whirled upon her with the speech: "Take care, _Mrs. Glenarm_, I am
+not naturally a patient woman, trouble has done much to tame my temper,
+but endurance has its limits!"
+
+It was given with such savage passion that Miss Dietz burst into
+frightened tears and forgot utterly her lines, while a silence that
+thrilled, absolute, dead, came upon the company for a moment. Hastily I
+controlled myself, but there were whispers and amazed looks everywhere.
+Mr. George Brown, who played the pugilist, said aloud to a group: "She's
+done the whole crowd--she's an actress to the core!"
+
+Mr. Daly sat leaning forward at the prompt-table, white as he could well
+be. His eyes were wide and bright, and, to my surprise, he spoke quite
+gently to me as he said: "Spare yourself--just murmur your lines, Miss
+Morris." And Miss Dietz said: "Oh, Mr. Daly, I am so glad I am prepared;
+I should have fallen in my tracks if she had done that to me at night,
+without warning."
+
+When I left the stage, one of the ladies swept her dress aside, and said:
+"Sit here by me; how tired you must be!" It was the first friendly
+advance made to me. Before rehearsal ended I overheard the young man with
+the bald head saying: "She has sold us all, and I bet she will completely
+change the map of the Fifth Avenue Theatre."
+
+"Oh, no, she won't," answered Lewis, shortly, "she's not that type of
+woman!"
+
+"Well, at all events, on the strength of that outburst, I ain't afraid to
+bet twenty good dollars that she makes pie out of Ethel's vogue!" Then,
+seeing me, he removed his hat hurriedly, offering his shoulder for me to
+lean upon as I descended the winding-stairs, and I said to myself:
+"Yesterday this would have been a kindly service; to-day--to-day it is
+not far from an humiliation."
+
+Hitherto I had known neither clique nor cabal in a theatre; now I found
+myself in a network of them. The _favorite_--who, I had supposed, lived
+only in the historic novel--I now met in real life, and found her as
+charming, as treacherous, and as troublesome in the theatre as she could
+ever have been in a royal court. There was no one to explain to me the
+nature or progress of the game that was being played when I came upon the
+scene; but I soon discovered there were two factions in the theatre, Miss
+Agnes Ethel heading one, Miss Fanny Davenport the other. Each had a
+following, but Miss Ethel, who had been all-powerful, had overestimated
+her strength when she refused, point-blank, to play _Anne Sylvester_,
+giving as her reason "the immorality of _Anne_." This from the lady who
+had been acting all season in "Fernande" and "Frou-Frou"--as a gambler's
+decoy and an adulterous wife abandoning child and home--satisfactorily
+proved the utter absence of a sense of humor from her charming make-up.
+
+Mr. Daly, like every other man, could be managed with a little patient
+_finesse_, but he would not be bullied in business affairs by any living
+creature, as he proved when, rather than change the play to please the
+actress he then regarded as his strongest card, he trusted a great part
+to the hands of an unknown, untried girl, and gave out to the newspapers
+that Miss Ethel had sprained her ankle, and, though in perfect health,
+could not walk well enough to act. And, after my momentary outburst, the
+anti-Ethelites suddenly placed me on one of the sixty-four squares of
+their chess-board; but I knew not whether I was castle, knight, bishop,
+or pawn, I only knew that I had become a piece of value in their game,
+and they hoped to move me against Ethel.
+
+It was all very bewildering, but I had other things to think about, and
+more important. My money had run so low I was desperately afraid I could
+not get dresses for the play, and for the white mousseline necessary for
+the croquet-party of the first act I was forced to go to a very cheap
+department store, a fact the dress nightly proclaimed aloud from every
+inch of its surface. Shawl dresses were the novelty of that season, and
+at Stewart's I found a modestly priced dark-gray shawl overskirt and
+jacket that I could wear over a black alpaca skirt for two acts. The
+other two dresses I luckily had in my wardrobe, and when my new shoes, a
+long gray veil, and two pairs of gray gloves were laid into the
+dressing-room basket, I had in the whole world $2.38, on which we had to
+live until my first week's salary came to me. But, oh, that last awful
+day before the opening night. I was suffering bodily as well as mentally.
+I had had an alarming attack of pleurisy. My mother had rung the bell and
+left a message at the first house that carried a doctor's sign. He came;
+he was far gone in liquor; he was obstinate, almost abusive--to be brief,
+he blistered me shockingly; another doctor had to be called to dress and
+treat the hideous blisters the first had produced; and the tight closing
+of dress-waists about me was an agony not yet forgotten. But what was
+that to the nervous terror, the icy chill, the burning fever, the deadly
+nausea! I could not swallow food--I _could_ not! My mother stood over me
+while, with tear-filled eyes, I disposed of a raw, beaten egg, and then
+she was guilty of the dreadful extravagance of buying two chops, of which
+she made a cup of broth, and fearing a breakdown if I attempted without
+food five such acts as awaited me, she almost forced me to swallow it to
+the last drop after my hat was on and I was ready to start. I always kiss
+my mother good-by, and that night my lips were so cold and stiff with
+fright that they would not move. I dropped my head for a moment upon her
+shoulder, she patted me silently with one hand and opened the door with
+the other. My little dog, escaping from the room, rushed to me, leaping
+against my knees. I caught her up, and she covered my troubled, veiled
+face with frantic kisses. I passed her to mother and crept painfully down
+the steps. I glanced back--mother waved her hand and innocently called:
+"Good luck! God bless you!"
+
+The astonishing conjunction of superstition and orthodox faith touched my
+sense of the ridiculous. I laughed aloud, Bertie barked excitedly, I
+faced about and went forward almost gayly to meet--what? As I reached
+Broadway, I remember quite distinctly that I said aloud, to myself:
+"Well, God's good to the Irish, and at all events I was born on St.
+Patrick's day--so Garryowen forever!"
+
+The pendulum was swinging to the other extreme, I was in high spirits;
+nor need you be surprised, for such is the acting temperament.
+
+I had not on that first night even the comfort of a dressing-room to
+myself, but shared one of the tiniest closets with Mrs. Roberta Norwood,
+in whose chic blonde person I failed utterly to see a future friend. The
+terrible heat, the crowding, the strange companion, all brought back the
+memory of that far-away first night of all in Cleveland; but now there
+was no Mrs. Bradshaw to go to for advice or commendation. The sense of
+utter loneliness came upon me suddenly, and I bent my head low over the
+buckling of my shoe that my rising tears might not be noticed.
+
+We were directly beneath the auditorium parquet, and every seat flung
+down by the ushers seemed to strike a blow upon our heads, while applause
+shook dust into our eyes and hair. Forced occupation is the best cure for
+nervousness, and in the hurried making-up and dressing I for the time
+forgot my fright. Two or three persons had come to the door to speak to
+Mrs. Norwood, and it seemed to me they were all made up unusually pale. I
+looked at myself in the glass, I hesitated, at last I turned and asked if
+I wore too much color--if I was too red, and the answer I received was:
+"That's a matter of taste."
+
+Now it was not a matter of taste, but a matter of business. She was
+familiar with the size and the lighting of the theatre, and I was not,
+yet either from extreme self-occupation or utter indifference she allowed
+me to go upon that tiny stage painted like an Indian about to take the
+war-path. Truly I was climbing up a thorny stem to reach the flower of
+success.
+
+The overture was at its closing bars, all were rushing to the stairs for
+the first act. I stopped behind the dressing-room door and bent my head
+for one dumbly pleading moment, then muttering "Amen--amen," I, too,
+hurried up the stairs to face the awful first appearance before a New
+York audience.
+
+I had always been rehearsed to enter with the crowd of guests. The cue
+came, and as I stepped forward, a strong hand caught my arm. Mr. Daly had
+suddenly changed his mind, he held me fast till all were on, then let me
+go, whispering, "Now--now," and I went on alone.
+
+I had to retire to the back of the stage and wait a few moments till
+spoken to. Never shall I forget the sort of horror the closeness of the
+audience caused me, I felt I should step upon the upturned faces; I
+wanted to put out my hands and push the people back, and their use of
+opera-glasses filled my eyes with angry tears. Suddenly I understood the
+meaning of the lightly painted faces. I raised my handkerchief and wiped
+some of the red from my cheeks, while somewhat bitterly, I am afraid, I
+thought that "love ye one another" and "thy neighbor as thyself" had been
+relegated to the garret with "God bless our home."
+
+Then the astonishing beauty of the women on the stage struck me with
+dismay; their exquisite lacy dresses, their jewel-loaded fingers. Oh! I
+thought, how can I ever hope to stand with them. I grew sick and cold.
+Then there dully reached my ears the words of _Lady Lundy_: "I
+choose--Anne Sylvester." It was my cue. I came slowly down; no one knew
+me, no one greeted me. I opened my lips, but no sound came. I saw a
+frightened look on Miss Newton's face; I tried again, and in a husky
+whisper, answered: "Thank you; I'd rather not play."
+
+Out in front one actor friend, John W. Norton, watched and prayed for a
+success for me; when he heard the hoarse murmur, he dropped his head and
+groaned: "A failure--total and complete!" But I also had noted that
+hoarse croak, and it had acted like a mighty spur. I was made desperate
+by it. I threw up my head, and answered my next cue with: "No, Lady
+Lundy, nothing is the matter; I am not very well, but I will play if you
+wish it."
+
+I gave the words so bell-clear and with so much insolent humility that a
+round of applause of lightning quickness followed them. It was the first
+bit of genuine hearty kindness I had received in the city of New York. In
+my pleasure I forgot the character of _Anne_ completely, and turned to
+the audience a face every feature of which, from wide, surprised eyes to
+more widely-smiling lips, radiated such satisfaction and good-fellowship
+that they first laughed aloud and then a second time applauded.
+
+At last! I was starting fair, we had shaken hands, my audience and I; my
+nerves were steady, my heart strong, the "part" good. I would try hard, I
+would do my best. I made my whispered appointment to meet _Geoffrey_, and
+when I returned and stood a moment, silently watching him, there came
+upon the house the silence that my soul loves--the silence that might
+thrill a graven image into acting, and I was not stone.
+
+Our scene began. _Anne_, striving desperately to restrain her feelings,
+said: "You are rich, a scholar, and a gentleman; are you something else
+besides all these--_are you a coward and a villain, sir?_"
+
+Clear and distinct from the right box, in suppressed tones, came the
+words: "Larmes de la voix! larmes de la voix!" Many glanced at the box, a
+few hissed impatiently at the new mayor, Oakey Hall, who had spoken. Our
+interview was interrupted by _Lady Lundy_ (Miss Newton) and _Sir Patrick
+Lundy_ (Mr. Lewis). I was dismissed by the first and left the stage.
+Applause broke forth--continued. Mr. Lewis and Miss Newton began to
+speak--the applause redoubled. I turned angrily. "What bad manners!" I
+said. Mr. Daly ran up to me, waving his hands: "Go on! go on! It's you,
+you fool!"
+
+"I know it," I replied, "but I'm not going to insult any actor by taking
+a call in the middle of his scene."
+
+"Confound you!" he said, "will you do as I tell you?" He caught me,
+whirled me about and, putting his hand between my shoulders, literally
+pitched me on to the stage, where I stood ashamed and mortified by what I
+honestly felt to be a slight to those two waiting to proceed.
+
+After that the evening's triumph, like the rolling snowball, grew as it
+advanced. At the end of the quarrel act with _Mrs. Glenarm_ the curtain
+was raised on the stage picture--once, twice, three times. Then M. Benot
+said to Mr. Daly: "They want her," and Mr. Daly answered, sharply: "I
+know what they want, and I know what I don't want--ring up again!"
+
+He did so; no use, the applause went on. Then Mr. Daly said to me: "Take
+_Mrs. Glenarm_ on with you, and acknowledge this call."
+
+We went on together; retired; more applause. Again we went on together;
+no use, the applause _would_ not stop. "Oh, well, ring up once more,"
+said Mr. Daly, "and here, you, take it yourself."
+
+I went on alone, and the audience rose as one individual. I saw them,
+all blurred through happy tears. I held my hands out to them, with a very
+passion of love. The house blossomed with white waving handkerchiefs in
+answer. The curtain fell and, before I moved, rose once more, and then,
+as I live by bread! I saw pass between me and those applauding people a
+little crying child carrying a single potato in her hand. Of course that
+was nerves; but I saw her, I tell you I saw her! and surely I should know
+myself!
+
+In the fourth act, which was a triumph for all concerned in it--and that
+meant nearly everyone in the cast--I received a compliment that I prize
+still. There is a certain tone which should be reserved for short
+important speeches only in strong and exciting scenes, where, by force of
+contrast, it has a great effect; so, in tones low, level, clear and cold
+as ice, _Anne_ had scarcely taken her solemn oath: "I swear it, on my
+honor as a Christian woman, sir!" when from end to end of their railed-in
+semicircle the musicians broke into swift applause. Catching the effect,
+their foreign impetuosity made them respond more quickly than could the
+Americans who seconded their action, while mere recognition from these
+play-worn, _blase_ men was to me veritable incense. In the last act, Mrs.
+Gilbert, as _Hester Detheridge_, the supposed dumb woman, proved herself
+an artist to the fingertips. Later I saw many _Hesters_, but never one to
+equal hers.
+
+At last, and late, far too late, the play ended in a blaze of glory. The
+curtain was raised for final compliments. All the actors in the play had
+been summoned--we all stood in line, a bowing, smiling, happy
+line--facing a shouting, hat, handkerchief, or cane-waving crowd of
+pleased, excited people. As I saw how many eyes were turned my way, with
+a leap of the heart I repeated: "If you make a favorable impression I
+will--yes, I will double that salary."
+
+Surely, I thought, no one can doubt that I have made a favorable
+impression, and, oh, mother, we will be so happy! Just then I caught the
+eye of a young girl--I could have touched her outstretched hand, she was
+so close--she gave me a lovely smile, and taking from her bosom a bunch
+of scarlet carnations she threw them herself. They fell on the stage.
+One of the actors picked them up and, turning, handed them to _Blanche_.
+I heard the disappointed "Oh!" and caught her eye again, when,
+regardless of all the rules and regulations forbidding communication
+with the audience, I smiled and kissed my hand to her. As the curtain
+fell, in an instant everyone was talking with everyone else. I had begun
+alone--well, I must end alone. I slipped down the staircase least used,
+and at its foot met Mr. George Brown, who was waiting for me. He took my
+hands in his and gave me both commendation and congratulation, though
+they were stayed and braced with unconscious profanity; and I squeezed
+his hands hard and said: "You are so good, oh! you are so good! but
+please take care, I'm afraid you'll get forfeited." When he cried:
+"D----n the forfeit, it's worth a few dollars to speak as you feel
+sometimes, so good-night!"
+
+I scrambled into my street-clothes, caught up the inevitable bag, and
+fairly rushed from the theatre, and as I came up from that place of
+mouldy smell and burnt-out air, and lifted my face to the stupendous
+beauty of the heavens, sniffing delightedly at the cool, pure night air,
+suddenly I thought how delicious must have been the first long breath
+young Lazarus drew when, obeying the Divine command, he "came forth" from
+the tomb.
+
+Tired, excited, I hurried to carry the news to the two who awaited me--my
+mother and my dog. At the corner of Twenty-third Street and Broadway I
+had to pass around a party of ladies and gentlemen who stood talking
+there, and a lady said as I passed: "No, no! it's Morris, I tell you;
+see, here it is--Clara Morris." She held up a folded programme, pointing
+out the name to a gentleman beside her. I laughed happily. Odd bits of
+the evening's happenings kept appearing before me like pictures.
+Sometimes I saw the unknown young girl's smiling face--and the scarlet
+flowers I failed to receive. Sometimes 'twas Mr. Daly's angry one as he
+pitched me on to the stage to acknowledge a compliment I did not want,
+great as it was. Most often I saw the faces of the lovely women of the
+company. What a galaxy of beauty they made! The stately Newton, the
+already full-blown, buxom Davenport, the tall, slender, deer-eyed Dietz,
+the oriental Volmer, the auburn-haired Claxton, the blond Norwood! There
+were just two women in that company who were not beauties--Mrs. Gilbert
+and Miss Morris; even they were wholesome, pleasant women, who did not
+frighten horses by any means, but still if you speak of beauty--why,
+next! please!
+
+At last I saw the lighted windows that told me home was near. Then up the
+stairs, where there bounded upon my breast the little black-and-tan
+bundle of love and devotion, called Bertie the loyal, whose fervid
+greetings made the removal of my hat so difficult a job that it was
+through the tangle of hat, veil, and wriggling dog I cried at last: "It's
+all right, Mumsey--a success! Lots and lots of 'calls,' dear! and, oh! is
+there anything to eat--_I am so hungry!_"
+
+So, while the new actress's name was floating over many a dainty
+restaurant supper, its owner sat beneath one gas-jet, between mother and
+pet, eating a large piece of bread and a small piece of cheese; and,
+thankful for both, she talked to her small circle of admirers, telling
+them all about it, and winding up supper and talk with the declaration:
+"Mother, I believe the hearts are just the same, whether they beat
+against Western ribs or Eastern ribs!"
+
+Then, supper over, I stumbled through my old-time "Now I lay me," and
+adding some blurred words of gratitude (God must be so well used to sleep
+thanks, but very wide-awake entreaties!) I fell asleep, knowing that
+through God's mercy and my own hard work I was the first Western actress
+who had ever been accepted by a New York audience, and as I drowsed off,
+I murmured to myself: "And I'll leave the door open, now that I have
+opened it--I'll leave it open for all others."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-FIFTH
+
+  I Am Accepted by the Company--I am Warned against Mr. Fisk--I Have an
+  Odd Encounter with Mr. Gould.
+
+
+The following morning we were called to the theatre at eleven o'clock to
+have the play cut "judiciously," as old actors used to say. It was very
+loosely constructed, and, besides cutting, the entire drama required a
+tightening-up, as it were.
+
+Mr. Daly was the first to greet me and offer hearty and genial
+congratulations. Everyone followed his example, and that morning I was
+admitted into the family circle and came into my just inheritance of
+equality and fraternity.
+
+A little surprised, but very happy, I gave back smile for smile,
+hand-pressure for hand-pressure; for being held off at arm's length by
+them all had hurt worse I'm sure than they knew, therefore when they
+offered me kindly greeting I did not stop to study out the _cause_ of
+this _effect_, but shut my eyes and opened my mouth, and took what luck
+had sent me, and thankfully became so much one of them that I never had a
+clashing word with a member of the company--never saw the faintest cloud
+darken our good-fellowship.
+
+That morning, as the cutting was going on, I advanced and offered my
+part, but Mr. Daly waved me away. "No," he said, "there's plenty of
+useless matter to take out, but the public won't want _Anne_ cut, they
+have none too much of her now."
+
+He gave but few compliments, even to those he liked, and he did not like
+me yet, therefore that gracious speech created a sensation among the
+other hearers and was carefully treasured up by me.
+
+Another of his sayings of that morning I recall. In conversation with one
+of the ladies, I remarked: "As a Western woman, I suppose I have various
+expressions to unlearn?" when Mr. Daly turned quickly from the
+prompt-table, saying, sharply: "Miss Morris, don't say that again. You
+are a New York woman now--please remember that. You ceased to be a
+Westerner last night when you received the New York stamp."
+
+I thought him jesting, and was about to make some flippant reply, when
+one of the ladies squeezed my arm and said: "Don't, he will be angry; he
+is in earnest."
+
+And he was, just as he was in earnest later on when we had become good
+friends, and I heard him for the first time swear like a trooper because
+I had been born in Canada. And when I laughed at his anger, he was not
+far from boxing my ears.
+
+"It's a damn shame!" he declared; "in the first place you are an American
+to the very marrow of your bones. In the next place you are the only
+woman I know who has a living, pulsing love of country and flag! Oh, the
+devil! I won't believe it--you born in a tu'penny ha'penny little
+Canadian town under that infernal British flag! See here, if you ever
+tell anyone that--I'll--I'll never forgive you! Have you been telling
+that to people?"
+
+I answered him: "I have not--but I have permitted the assertion that I
+was born in Cleveland to go uncorrected," and, with the sweet frankness
+of friendship, he answered that I had more sense than he had given me
+credit for. But, small matter that it was, it annoyed him greatly, and I
+still have notes of his, sent on my birthdays, in which he petulantly
+refers to my unfortunate birth-place, and warns me to keep silent about
+it.
+
+Like many other great men--and Mr. Daly was a great man--he often made
+mountains out of mole-hills, devoting to some trifle an amount of
+consideration out of all proportion to the thing considered.
+
+On the first night of the season Mr. Daly had said to me: "One word,
+Miss Morris, that I had forgotten before--Mr. James Fisk, unfortunately,
+as landlord, has the right of entrance into the green-room. He doesn't
+often appear there, but should he come in, if you are present I desire
+you should instantly withdraw. I do not wish you to be introduced to him
+under any circumstances."
+
+I felt my face flushing red as I answered: "I have no desire to meet
+either Mr. Fisk or any other gentleman in the green-room!" But Mr. Daly
+said, hurriedly: "Don't misunderstand me, there's no time for
+explanations now, only do as I ask you. You will recognize him when I
+tell you he is very blond and very like his pictures," and away flew Mr.
+Daly to attend to things enough to drive most men crazy.
+
+Now, that speech did not mean that Mr. Fisk was a monster of ill-breeding
+or of immorality, but it did mean that that was Mr. Daly's "tat" to Mr.
+Fisk's "tit" in a very pretty little "tit-for-tat" quarrel between them.
+
+Mr. Daly very seldom tasted defeat--very, very seldom came out second
+best in an encounter; but there had been a struggle anent the renting of
+the theatre: Mr. Fisk, as landlord, refusing to renounce his right of
+entrance by the stage-door to any theatre he owned--nothing could move
+him, no argument, no entreaty, no threat; not even an offer of more rent
+than he himself asked. To Mr. Daly the right of entrance of an outsider
+back of the stage was almost unbearable, even though the privilege was
+seldom used and never abused. He declared he would not sign any agreement
+holding such a clause. He gave up the theatre rather than yield, and
+then, with a large company already engaged, he sought in vain for a house
+to shelter it. Now, the city is broken out all over, close and fine, with
+theatres, like a case of well-developed measles; but then 'twas
+different. Mr. Daly could find no other theatre, and he was compelled to
+accept the Fifth Avenue with the hated clause compromised thus: Mr. Fisk
+was to have the right of entrance to the green-room, but was never to go
+upon the stage or behind the scenes; an ending to the struggle that
+pleased the company mightily, for they were all very fond of Jimmy Fisk,
+or "The Prince," as he was called.
+
+He never forgot them on benefit nights; whether the beneficiary was man
+or woman there was always a gift ready from the "Railroad Prince."
+
+He looked like a man well acquainted with his tub. His yellow hair
+crisped itself into small waves right from its very roots. His blue eyes
+danced with fun, for he was one of nature's comedians. His manner was
+what he himself would describe as "chipper." No one could talk five
+minutes with him without being moved to laughter.
+
+His own box was the right upper one, and as I first had him pointed out
+to me, yellow-haired, laughing, flashing now and then a splendid ring, I
+wondered if he really was the stalking-horse of the dark little man with
+the piercing eyes who sat for one act well back of the redundant and
+diffuse Mr. James Fisk. Wishing to make sure of the dark man's identity,
+I asked who he was. "Oh," was the answer, "he's gone now, but I suppose
+it was Gould, rooting out the 'Prince' to talk shop to him!" then,
+thrusting out a contemptuous under-lip, my informant added: "He's no
+good--he has nothing to do with the theatre! Scarcely ever comes to a
+performance, and doesn't see anything when he does. He couldn't tell any
+one of us apart from the others if he tried--and he's not likely to try.
+You want to keep your eye on Jimmie. If he likes you, you're in for
+flowers and a present, too, on your benefit!"
+
+Imagine, then, my amazement on the third night of the season when this
+occurred: In one act I made my exit before the curtain fell--all the
+other characters being still upon the stage. Having a change of dress
+there, I always hurried down-stairs as quickly as possible, and passing
+in one door and out of the other, crossed the green-room to reach my
+dressing-room. That evening as I ran in I saw a gentleman standing near
+the opposite door. I turned instantly to retreat, when a voice called:
+"If you please." I paused, I turned. The gentleman removed his hat, and
+coming to the centre of the room held out his hand, saying: "Miss
+Morris--you _are_ Miss Morris?"
+
+I smiled assent and gave him my hand. His small, smooth fingers closed
+upon mine firmly. We stood and looked at each other. He was small, and
+dark of hair and of beard, and his piercing eyes seemed to be reading me
+through and through. He spoke presently, in a voice low and
+gentle--almost to sadness.
+
+"I wanted to speak to you," he said; "I'm not going to waste time telling
+you you are a wonderful actress, because the papers have already done
+that, and all New York _will_ do it, but I see you are an honest girl and
+alone here----"
+
+"No--oh, no!" I broke in, "my mother, too, is here!"
+
+A faint smile seemed to creep about his bearded lips, there was a
+distinct touch of amusement in his voice as he said: "I-n-d-e-e-d! a
+valiant pair, no doubt--a truly valiant pair! but," his small fingers
+closed with surprising strength about mine in emphasis of his words,
+"but, oh, my honest little woman, you are going to see trouble here!" He
+glanced down at the hateful cheap dress I wore, he touched it with the
+brim of his hat: "Yes, you will have sore trouble on this score, to say
+nothing of other things; but don't let them beat you! When your back is
+to the wall, don't give up! but at a last pinch turn to me, Clara Morris,
+and if I don't know how to help you out, I know somebody who will!
+She----"
+
+Steps, running steps, were coming down the passageway, then tall,
+dead-white with anger, Mr. Daly stood in the doorway. He almost gasped
+the words: "What does this mean, sir?" then angrily to me: "Leave the
+room at once!"
+
+Flushing at the tone, I bent my head and moved toward the door, when,
+calm and clear, came the words: "Good-night, Miss Morris, please
+remember!"
+
+Mr. Daly seemed beside himself with anger. "Mr. Gould," he cried (my
+heart gave a jump at the name; to save my life I could not help glancing
+back at them), "how dare you pass the stage-door? You have no more right
+here than has any other stranger! Your conduct, sir----"
+
+The gray, blazing eyes of the speaker were met by Mr. Gould's, calm,
+cold, hard as steel, and his voice, low and level, was saying: "We will
+not discuss my conduct here, if you please--your office perhaps," as I
+fled down the entry to my own room.
+
+Mr. Daly sent for me at the end of the play to demand my story of the
+unexpected meeting. Had I received any note, any message beforehand? Had
+we any common acquaintance? What had he said to me--word for word, what
+had he said?
+
+I thought of the gentle voice, the piercing eyes that had grown so kind,
+the friendly promise, and somehow I felt it would be scoffed at--I
+rebelled. I would only generalize. He had called me an honest girl, had
+said the city praised me; but when I got home I told my mother all, who
+was greatly surprised, since she had had only the newspaper Gould in her
+mind--a sort of human spider, who wove webs--strong webs--that caught and
+held his fellow-men.
+
+His words came true. I saw trouble of many kinds and colors. More than
+once I thought of his promise, but I had learned much ill of human nature
+in a limited time, and I was afraid of everyone. Knowing much of poor
+human nature now, and looking back to that evening, recalling every tone,
+every shade of expression, I am forced to believe Mr. Jay Gould was
+perfectly honest and sincere in his offer of assistance.
+
+If this incident seems utterly incredible at first, it is because you are
+thinking of Mr. Gould wholly in his character of "The Wizard of Wall
+Street;" but turn to the domestic side of the man, think of his undying
+love for, his unbroken loyalty and devotion to, the wife of his choice,
+who, as mother of his little flock, never ceased to be his sweetheart.
+
+Is it so improbable, then, that his heart, made tender by love for one
+dear woman, sheltered and protected, might feel a throb of pity for
+another woman, unsheltered and alone, whose poverty he saw would be a
+cruel stumbling-block in her narrow path? I think not.
+
+Who that "she" was whose aid he would have asked in my behalf I do not
+know, can never know; but it always gives me an almost childish pleasure
+to imagine it was the sweet, strong woman who was his wife. At all
+events, Mr. Gould that night furnished me with a pleasant memory, and
+that is a thing to be thankful for.
+
+The first time I saw Mr. Fisk in the green-room he was surrounded by a
+smiling, animated party, and as he advanced a step, expectantly, I
+disappeared. I have been told that he laughed at his own disappointment
+and the suddenness of some claim upon my attention. The second time, I
+was in the room when he entered, and at my swift departure he reddened
+visibly, and, after a moment, said: "If you were not all such good
+friends of mine, I should think someone had been making a bugaboo of me
+to scare that young woman."
+
+"Oh," laughed one of the men, "she's from the West and is a bit wild
+yet."
+
+"Well," he replied, "it doesn't matter where she's from, New York's got
+her now and means to keep her. I'd like to offer her a word of welcome
+and congratulation, but she won't give a chap any margin," and he resumed
+his conversation.
+
+The third time, he was alone in the room, and as I backed hastily out he
+followed me. I ran--so did he--but as that was too ridiculous I stopped
+at his call and, turning, faced him. He removed his hat and hurriedly
+said: "I beg your pardon for forcing myself upon your attention, Miss
+Morris, but any man with a grain of self-respect would demand an
+explanation of such treatment as I have received from you. Come now, you
+are a brave girl, an honest girl--tell me, please, why you avoid me as if
+I were the plague. Why, good Lord! your eyes are all but jumping out of
+your head! Are you afraid even to be seen listening to me?" Suddenly he
+stopped, his own words had given him an idea. His eyes snapped angrily.
+"Well, I'll be blessed!" he exclaimed; then he came closer. He took my
+hand and asked: "Miss Morris, have you been putting these slights on me
+by order?"
+
+I was confused, I was frightened; I remembered the anger Mr. Gould's
+presence had aroused, and this was an actual breech of orders. I
+stammered: "I--oh, I just happened to be busy, you know."
+
+I glanced anxiously about me; he replied: "Yes, you were very busy
+to-night, sitting in the green-room doing nothing--yet you ran as if I
+were a leper. Tell me, little woman--don't be afraid--have you been
+obeying an order?"
+
+"If you please--if you please!" was all I could say.
+
+He looked steadily at me, lifted my hand to his lips, and said, with a
+compassionate sigh: "Bread and butter comes high in New York, doesn't it,
+child? There, I won't worry you any longer, but Brother Daly and I will
+hold a little love-feast over this matter." And with a laugh he returned
+to the green-room, where I could hear him singing "Lucy Long" to himself.
+
+A fortnight later, finding him again surrounded by the company, he
+laughingly called out to me: "Don't run away, the embargo is raised. It
+won't cost you a cent to shake hands and be friendly!" And as I seated
+myself in the place he made beside him, he added, low: "And no advantage
+taken of it outside the theatre."
+
+He used so many queer, old-fashioned words, such as "chipper,"
+"tuckered," "I swan!" "mean tyke," etc., that I once said to him: "I'm
+afraid you have washed your face in a pail by the pump ere this, Mr.
+Fisk?"
+
+He laughed, and responded: "I'm afraid I used to be sent back to do it
+better, when I had first to break the ice to get to the water in the
+pail, Miss Guesswell!"
+
+And then he gave a funny imitation of a boy washing his face in icy
+water, by wetting his fingers and drawing a circle about each eye and
+his mouth. He called his wife Lucy. Heaven knows whether it really was
+her name, but he always referred to her as Lucy. He was very fond of
+her, in spite of appearances, and proud of her, too. He said to me once:
+"She is no hair-lifting beauty, my Lucy, just a plump, wholesome,
+big-hearted, commonplace woman, such as a man meets once in a lifetime,
+say, and then gathers her into the first church he comes to, and seals
+her to himself. For you see these commonplace women, like common-sense,
+are apt to become valuable as time goes on!"
+
+When anyone praised some wife, he would look up and say: "Wife--whose
+wife? What wife? Bring your wives along, I ain't afraid to measure my
+Lucy with 'em. For, look here, you mustn't judge Lucy by her James!"
+
+A divorce case was before the courts, and it was much discussed
+everywhere. The wife had been jealous and suspicious, and blond hairs
+(she was very dark herself) and strange hair-pins held a ludicrous
+prominence in the evidence. "Ah!" said Fisk, "that's not the kind of a
+wife I have! Never, _never_ does Lucy surprise me with a visit, God bless
+her! No, she always telegraphs me when she's coming, and I--I clear up
+and have a warm welcome for her, and then she's pleased, and that pleases
+me, and we both enjoy our visit. Hang'd if we don't! And just to show you
+what a hero--yes, a _hero_--she is, and, talking of hair-pins, let me
+tell you now. You know those confounded crooked ones, with three infernal
+crinkles in the middle to keep them from falling out of the hair? Those
+English chorus-girls wear them, I'm told. Well, one day Lucy comes to see
+me. Oh, she had sent word as usual, and everything was cleared up (I
+supposed) as usual, and George, my man, was laying out some clothes for
+me, when Lucy, smoothing her hand over the sofa-cushion, picks up and
+holds to the light an infernal crinkled hair-pin. George turned white and
+looked pleadingly at me. I saw myself in court fighting a divorce like
+the devil; and then, after an awful, perspiring silence, my Lucy
+says--she that has worn straight pins all her life: 'James, that is a
+lazy and careless woman that cares for your rooms. It's three weeks
+to-day since I left for home, and here is one of my hair-pins lying on
+the sofa ever since!'
+
+"If she had put it in her hair I should have thought her really deceived
+in the matter, but when she dropped it in the fire, I knew she was just a
+plain hero! I walked over and knelt down and said: 'Thank you, Lucy,'
+while I pretended to tie her shoe. George was so upset that he dropped
+the studs twice over he was trying to put into a shirt-front. Oh, I tell
+you my Lucy can't be beat!"
+
+The time he won the name of "Jubilee Jim," when the whole country was
+laughing over his triumphant visit to Boston with his regiment, he made
+this unsmiling explanation of the matter:
+
+"You see, the Ninth and I were both tickled over the invitation to visit
+Boston, and as there were so many of us I paid the expenses myself.
+Being proud of the regiment and anxious it should be acquainted with all
+real American institutions, I arranged for it to stay over Sunday, for
+there were dozens of the boys who had never even seen a slice of real
+Boston brown-bread or a crock-baked bean--and a Boston Sunday breakfast
+was to be the educational feature of the visit. Everything was lovely,
+until the Ninth suddenly felt a desire to pray, as well as to eat, and
+I'll be switched on to a side-track if the minister of that big church
+didn't begin to kick like a steer, and finally refuse to let us pray in
+his shop. Now, if there's anything that will make a man hot as blazes in
+a minute, it's choking him off when he wants to pray. Some sharply
+pointed and peppery words were exchanged on the subject. I suppose our
+numbers rather muddled up his schedule, but if he'd said so quietly I
+could have straightened out his heavenly time-table so that there would
+have been no collision between trains of prayer. But no, instead of
+that, he slams the doors of his church in our visiting faces, and, in
+act at least, tells us to go to--what's that polite word now that means
+h--? What--what do you call it _sheol_? Shucks! that word won't become
+popular--hasn't got any snap to it! Well, the boys were mighty blue,
+they thought the visit was off. But I got 'em into the armory, and I
+said, what amounted to this, I says: 'This visit ain't off; Boston is
+right as a trivet, and wants us! We ain't bucking against the city, but
+against that sanctified stingyike who don't want anyone in heaven but
+his own gang; but you see here, when the Ninth Regiment wants to pray,
+I'm d----d if it don't do it. Who cares for that church, anyway, where
+you'd be crowded like sardines and have your corns crushed to agony!
+We'll go to Boston, boys, and we'll praise the Lord on the Common, if
+they'll let us, and if they won't, we'll march out to the suburbs and
+have a perfect jubilee of prayer!' And what do you think," he cried,
+grinning like a mischievous boy, as he twisted the long, waxed ends of
+his mustache to needle-like points, "what do you think--we prayed out of
+doors, with all female Boston and her attendants looking on and saying
+_amen_; and, oh, by George! I sent a man to see, and 'stingyike's'
+church was nearly empty! Ha! ha! I tell you what it is, when a New York
+soldier wants to pray, he prays, or something gives!" After that he was
+Jubilee Jim.
+
+His growing stoutness annoyed him greatly, yet he was the first to poke
+fun at what he called his "unmilitary figure." One evening I said: "Mr.
+Fisk, I'm afraid you have cast too much bread upon the waters; it's said
+to be very fattening food when it returns?"
+
+"Well, I swan!" he answered, "I'll never give another widow a pass over
+any road of mine--whether she's black, mixed, or grass, for that's about
+all the breadcasting I do."
+
+This was not true, for he was very kind-hearted and generous, especially
+to working people who were in trouble. His "black widow" was one in full
+mourning, his "mixed widow" was the poor soul who had only a cheap black
+bonnet or a scanty veil topping her ordinary colored clothing to express
+her widowed state, while the "grasses" were, in his own words: "All those
+women who were not married--but ought to be."
+
+Whenever he gave a diamond or an India shawl to a French opera-bouffe
+singer the world heard of it, and the value grew and grew daily, and that
+publicity gratified his strange distorted vanity, but the lines of
+widows, sometimes with hungry little flocks hanging at their skirts, that
+he passed over roads, the discharged men he "sneaked" (his own word) back
+into positions again, because of their suffering brood, he kept silent
+about.
+
+He never got angry at the papers, no matter what absurdity they printed
+about him. At the time of the riot some paper declared he had left his
+men and had climbed a high board fence in order to escape from danger. In
+referring to the article at the theatre one evening, he said, in
+reproachful tones: "Now wasn't that a truly stupid lie?" He rose, and
+placing his hands where his waist should have been, he went on
+mournfully: "Look at me! I look like a sprinter, don't I? If you just
+could see me getting into that uniform--no offence, ladies, I don't mean
+no harm. Oh, Lord, who has a small grammar about them? Well, when I'm in
+the clothes, it takes two men's best efforts, while I hold my breath, to
+clasp my belt--and they say I climbed that high fence! Say, I'd give five
+thousand dollars down on the nail if I had the waist to do that act
+with!"
+
+He was not only a natural comedian, but he had an instinct for the
+dramatic in real life, and he was quick to grasp his opportunity at the
+burning of Chicago. _His_ relief train must be rushed through first--_he_
+must beg personally; and then--and then, oh, happy thought! all the city
+knew the value he placed upon the beautiful jet black stallion he rode
+in the Park. Out, then, he and his stall-mate came--splendid, fiery,
+satin-coated aristocrats! And taking their places before a great express
+wagon, went prancing and curvetting their way from door to door, Mr. Fisk
+stopping wherever a beckoning hand appeared at a window. And bundles of
+clothing, boxes of provisions, anything, everything that people would
+give, he gathered up with wild haste, and brief, warm thanks, and rushed
+to the express offices for proper sorting and packing. Of course that
+personal service was not really necessary. A modest man would not have
+done it, but he was spectacular. His act pleased the people, too, and
+really many were moved to give by it. Their fancy was caught by the
+picture of the be-diamonded Jubilee Jim placing himself and his valuable
+horses at the service of the terror-stricken, homeless Chicagoans.
+
+Though he was himself the butt of most of his jokes, he often expressed
+his opinions in terms as conclusive and quite as funny as those of his
+world-famous reply to the sanctimonious fence-committee, who, claiming
+that the laying of his railroad had destroyed the greater part of the old
+fence about a country graveyard, demanded that he should replace it with
+a new one. Scarcely were the words out of their lips than, swift as a
+flash, came the characteristic answer: "What under heaven do you want a
+fence round a graveyard for? The poor chaps that are in there can't get
+out, and, I'll take my Bible oath, those that are out don't want to get
+in! Fence around a graveyard! I guess not; I know a dozen better ways of
+spending money than that!"
+
+I heard much of his generosity on benefit nights, but personally I never
+tested it. Before my benefit night arrived, Mr. Edward Stokes had caught
+Mr. Fisk on a walled-in staircase, as in a trap, and had shot him down,
+and then, in that time of terror and excitement, Jubilee Jim proved that
+whatever else he had been called--man of sin, fraud, trickster, clown--he
+was _not_ a coward! With wonderful self-control he asked, as the
+clothing was being cut from his stricken body: "Is this the end of me; am
+I going to die, doctor?"
+
+And when the man addressed made an evasive and soothing answer, that his
+hopeless eyes contradicted, James Fisk testily continued: "I want to
+know the truth!" Then, more gently: "I'm not afraid to die, doctor, but
+_I am_ afraid of leaving things all at sixes and sevens! This is the end
+of me, isn't it? Well, do what you can, and, George, send for ---- and
+for ---- [his lawyers], and I will do what I can. When can Lucy get
+here?"
+
+And so he quickly and calmly made all possible use of his ebbing
+strength--of the flying moments--disproving at least one charge, that of
+cowardice. He was dying, and crowds were waiting about the hotel where he
+lay, hungry for any morsel of news from the victim's bedside. That was
+the situation as I went to the theatre. I dressed and went through one
+act, then, as I came upon the stage in the second act, I faced Mr. Fisk's
+private box. I glanced casually at it, and stopped stock-still, the words
+dying on my lips. A shiver ran over me--someone had entered the box since
+the first act and had lowered the heavy red curtains and drawn them close
+together.
+
+No one could fail to understand. The flood of light, the waves of music
+reached to the edge of the box only--within were silence, darkness! The
+laughing owner would enter there no more, forever!
+
+With swelling throat I stood looking up. Another actor entered, saw the
+direction of my eyes, followed it, and next moment tears were on his
+cheeks. Then people in the house, noticing our distress, glanced in that
+same direction, and here and there a man rose and slipped out. Here and
+there a handkerchief was pressed to a face, for without a word being
+spoken all knew, by the blank, closed box, that Mr. Fisk was dead.
+
+I never knew a more trying evening for actors, for all knew him
+well--liked him and grieved for him. I was the only mere acquaintance,
+yet I was deeply moved and found it hard to act as usual before that
+mute, blank box--hard as though the body of its one-time owner lay
+within.
+
+So he made his exit--dramatic to the last. A strange character--shrewd,
+sharp, vain, ostentatious, loving his diamonds, velvet coats, white
+gloves. The monumental silver water-pitchers in his private boxes were
+too foul to drink from generally, but then the public could see the mass
+of silver. A bit of a mountebank, beyond a question, but with a temper so
+sunny and a heart so generous that in spite of all his faults Jubilee Jim
+had a host of friends.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-SIXTH
+
+  A Search for Tears--I Am Punished in "Saratoga" for the Success of "Man
+  and Wife"--I Win Mr. Daly's Confidence--We Become Friends.
+
+
+The people who have known happiness without the alloying _if_ or _but_
+are few and far between. "Yes, of course we are happy--but," "I should be
+perfectly and completely happy--_if_," you hear people saying every day;
+and so in my case, having been admitted into fellowship with the men and
+women of the company, who were a gracious and charming crowd, and
+receiving hearty approval each night from the great Public, by whose
+favor I and mine existed, I was grateful and would have been quite
+happy--_but_ for a brand-new difficulty that suddenly loomed up, large,
+and wide, and solid before me.
+
+Never in my life had I been in a play of a longer run than one week.
+Imagine, then, my misery when I found this play, that was already old to
+me at the end of the first week, was likely to go on for a long time to
+come. It was not mere _ennui_ over the repetition of the same lines,
+night after night, that troubled me, it was something far more serious. I
+had made my hit with the public by moving the people's feelings to the
+point of tears; but to do that I had first to move my own heart, for, try
+as I would, no amount of careful acting had the desired effect. _I_ had
+to shed tears or _they_ would not. Now that is not an easy thing to do to
+order, in cold blood. While the play is new one's nerves are strained
+almost to the breaking point--one is over-sensitive and the feelings are
+easily moved; then the pathetic words I am speaking touch my heart, tears
+rush to my eyes, tears are heard in my voice, and other hearts respond
+swiftly; _but_ when you have calmed down, when you have repeated the
+lines so often that they no longer mean anything to you, what are you to
+do then?
+
+Really and truly there were days when I was nearly out of my mind with
+terror lest I should not be able to cry that night; for those tears of
+mine had a commercial value as well as an artistic, and Mr. Daly was
+swift to reproach me if the handkerchief display in front was not as
+great as usual. This sounds absurd perhaps to a reader, but heaven knows
+it was tragic enough to me. I used to agonize all day over the question
+of tears for the night, and I have seen the time when even my own
+imaginary tomb failed to move me.
+
+One night, when my eyes were dry as bones, and my voice as hard as stone,
+and Mr. Daly was glaring whitely at me from the entrance, I had suddenly
+a sort of vision of that dethroned actress whom, back in Cleveland, I had
+seen uncrowned. I saw her quivering face, her stricken eyes, and a sudden
+rush of tears blinded me. Later, Mr. Daly said: "What a tricky little
+wretch you are. I thought you were going to throw that scene away,
+without a single tear to-night. I suppose you were doing it to aggravate
+me, though?"
+
+Goodness knows I was grateful enough myself for the tears when they did
+come, and I got an idea from that experience that has served me all the
+years since. Everything else--love, hate, dignity, passion, vulgarity,
+delicacy, duplicity, all, everything can be assumed to order; but, for
+myself, tears are not mechanical, they will not come at will. The heart
+must be moved, and if the part has lost its power then I must turn to
+some outside incident that _has_ power. It may be from a book, it may be
+from real life--no matter, if only its recalling starts tears to weary
+eyes.
+
+Thus in "Alixe" it was not for my lost lover I oftenest wept such racing
+tears, but for poor old _Tennessee's partner_ as he buried his worthless
+dead, with his honest old heart breaking before your eyes. While in
+"Camille" many and many a night her tears fell fast over the memory of a
+certain mother's face as she told me of the moment when, returning from
+the burial of her only child, the first snowflakes began to whirl through
+the still, cold air, and she went mad with the anguish of leaving the
+little tender body there in the cold and dark, and flung herself from the
+moving carriage and ran, screaming, back to the small rough pile of earth
+to shelter it with her own living body.
+
+So there is my receipt for sudden tears. I being--thank heaven--a
+cheerful body, and given to frequent laughter, may laugh in peace up to
+the last moment, if I have only stowed away some heart-breaking incident
+that I can recall at the proper moment. It seems like taking a mean
+advantage of a tender heart, I know--what Bret Harte would call "playing
+it low down" on it; but what else could I do? I leave it to you. What
+could _you_ do to make yourself cry seven times a week, for nine or ten
+months a year?
+
+Then there was another great change in the new life. I was used to
+rehearsing every day, and, lo! when once a play was on here, there
+followed weeks, perhaps months, when there were no rehearsals. Mercy! I
+could never afford to waste all that time; but what could I do? "One
+_and_ two _and_ three _and_," I could not afford; but, oh, _if_ I could
+take some French lessons, _what_ a help they would be to me in the proper
+pronunciation of names upon the stage. But I did not want lessons from
+some ignorant person, or someone who had a strange dialect. I have all my
+life had such a horror of _unlearning_ things. I knew a real French
+teacher would charge me a real "for-true" price, and my heart was
+doubtful--but see how fate was good to me. There was in Tenth Street a
+little daughter of a well-known French professor--he taught in a certain
+college. The daughter was eager to teach. The father said: "Who will
+trust so young a girl to instruct them? If you only had a first and
+second pupil, you would be self-supporting. French teachers are in great
+demand, but where shall you find that first pupil--tell me that, _ma
+fille_. No matter how small your charge, the question will be, where have
+you taught? No one will wish to be the first pupil."
+
+But, fine old French gentleman as he was, he was mistaken nevertheless,
+for I was willing, nay, eager, to be that first pupil, and she found my
+name of so much value to her in obtaining a full class that she became
+absolutely savage in her fell determination to make me speak her beloved
+language correctly. In spite of her eighteen years she looked full
+fourteen, and her dignity was a fearful thing to contemplate, until she
+had a chocolate-cream in one cheek and a dimple in the other, then
+somehow the dignity broke in the middle and the lesson progressed through
+much laughter.
+
+She was not beautiful, but pretty and charming to such an extent that,
+within the year, she became Madame, carried her own chocolates, and was
+absolutely vicious over irregular verbs. Dear little woman--I remember
+her gratefully, and also remember that, later on, I paid just six times
+as much per lesson to an elaborate person, well-rouged, who taught me
+nothing, lest she might offend me in the act. I know this to be true,
+because one day I deliberately mispronounced and let tenses run wild, to
+see if she would have the honesty or courage to correct me; but she
+looked a trifle surprised, rearranged her bangles, and let it all pass. I
+then resigned my position as pupil, that she might give her very
+questionable assistance as teacher to some other scholar, shorter of
+temper, and more sensitive to rebuke or correction than I was.
+
+At the theatre I think everyone liked me well enough, save Mr. Daly. He
+disliked me because I simply could not learn to treat him with reverence.
+I had the greatest admiration for him, I showed him respect by obeying
+him implicitly, but if he was funny I laughed, if he gave me an
+opportunity to twist his words absurdly I accepted it as gleefully as if
+he had been the gas-man.
+
+But two things happened, and lo! my manager's attitude toward me changed
+completely. Mr. Daly was convinced that no man or woman could bear
+decently a sudden success. He was positive that no head could stand it.
+When I made no demand for my promised increase of salary, but went
+pinching along as best I could, he only said to himself: "She will be all
+the worse when her head does begin to turn."
+
+One day a certain newspaper man looked in at his office, and said: "Oh, I
+have something here about the play, and I've given a few pretty good
+lines to your _find_ (Clara Morris): do you want to look at them?"
+
+"I want them cut out!" sharply ordered Mr. Daly.
+
+"Cut out?" repeated the surprised man. "Why, she's the play--or mighty
+near it. I thought you'd want her spoken of most particularly?"
+
+And then Mr. Daly made his famous speech: "I don't want individual
+successes, sir, in my theatre! I want my company kept at a level. I put
+them all in a line, and then I watch, and if one head begins to bob up
+above the others, I give it a crack and send it down again!"
+
+I had heard that story in several forms, when one day I spoke of it to
+Mr. Daly, and he calmly acknowledged the speech, as I have given it
+above, adding the words: "And next week I'm going to give Mr. Crisp's
+head a crack, he's bobbing up, I see!"
+
+The play of "Saratoga," by Mr. Bronson Howard, had been read to the
+company, and, after the custom of actors the world over, they began to
+cast the characters themselves--such a part for Lewis, such a one for
+Miss Davenport. The splendid Irish part for Amy Ames (of course, with her
+wonderful brogue), etc.; almost everyone remarking that there was nothing
+for me. Lewis said: "Well, Clara, you're out of this play, sure. Will you
+study Greek or the Rogue's Vocabulary? for I'll wager a hat to a hair-pin
+you'll be turning a good head of hair gray over some nonsense of the
+kind--good Lord!"
+
+For M. Benot was holding toward me a thin little part, saying: "For you,
+Miss Morris."
+
+Mr. Daly stood at the far end of the room; he was watching me. The part
+was a walking lady of second quality. It was an indignity to give it to
+me. Like lightning I recalled the terms of my contract--I realized my
+helplessness.
+
+I rolled up the small part, calmly rose, and smiling a comprehending
+smile into Mr. Daly's disappointed eyes, for which he could have choked
+me, I sauntered out of the room. At home I wept bitterly. It was
+undeserved! I had borne so much from gratitude, and here I was being
+treated just as a fractious, brain-turned, presuming person might have
+been treated for a punishment. However, my tears were only seen at home.
+At the theatre I rehearsed faithfully and good-temperedly, and writhed
+smilingly at the expressions of surprise over the cast, and for one
+hundred nights I was thus made to do penance for having made a success in
+"Man and Wife." Truly I had got a good "crack" for bobbing up; still my
+patient, uncomplaining acceptance of the part had made an impression on
+Mr. Daly, and he often expressed his regret, later on, for the error he
+made as to the possible turning of my head.
+
+Then came the second happening. To Mr. Daly a confidant was an absolute
+necessity of existence. If they had tastes in common, so much the happier
+for Mr. Daly, but such tastes were not imperatively demanded, neither was
+sex of importance--male or female would answer; but the one great,
+indispensable, and essential quality was the ability to respect a
+confidence, the power to hold a tongue.
+
+In the early weeks of the season he had been drifting into a friendship
+with a man in the company, and had told him, in strictest confidence, of
+a certain plan he was forming, and twenty-four hours later he heard that
+plan being discussed in one of the dressing-rooms. It had traveled by way
+of husband to wife, wife to friend, friend to her husband, and husband
+No. 2 was busy in explaining it to all and sundry.
+
+That ended the career of one gentleman as friend and confidant to Mr.
+Daly. One day after rehearsal I was detained on the stage to discuss a
+fashion-plate he was tearing from a magazine. A short poem caught his
+eye. He glanced at it carelessly, then looked more closely at the lines,
+and began to mumble the words:
+
+      "She of the silver foot--fair goddess--"
+
+His brows were knit, his eyes looked away, dreamily. Again he repeated
+the words, adding, impatiently: "I can't place that silver foot--the bow,
+the lyre, yes; but the foot? Oh, probably it's a mere figure of speech,"
+and he turned to the plate again, when I said: "Perhaps it means
+_Thetis_, you know, silver-footed queen--daughter of old sea-god."
+
+His whole face lit up with pleasure. "That's it," he said, "that's whom
+it means; but are you sure the word 'queen' belongs right there?"
+
+"No," I laughed, "I have grave doubts about my 'queen,' but I'm solid as
+a rock on the rest of the line."
+
+Then he repeated, with lingering enjoyment: "'Thetis, silver-footed,
+_silver-footed_, daughter of old sea-god.' Do you know I often wonder why
+someone does not make a play of mythological characters--a play after the
+modern method I mean."
+
+"Oh," I broke in, "then I shall have a rest, for I am not beautiful
+enough for even a walking-lady divinity."
+
+"Ah," he said, kindly, "you are not going to do any more walking
+ladies--divine or human. I have already in my possession a play with a
+great part for you. Boucicault wrote it, and----"
+
+He stopped suddenly, all the brightness went out of his face. He played
+nervously with his watch-guard. He started out with: "Miss Morris, I
+wish--" stopped, frowned; then impatiently took up the picture-plate,
+pointed out which dress he wanted me to wear, and curtly dismissed me.
+
+I understood him perfectly. In a genial moment he had unintentionally
+given me some information which he now regretted, though he would not
+stoop to ask my silence; and he felt sure that I would at once boast of
+the great part that was to be mine; and I went home, one broad smile of
+malicious satisfaction, for in spite of my seemingly-careless speech, I
+had, by long and careful training, acquired the fine art of holding my
+tongue about other people's affairs, even though I ascended to the roof
+to babble to the city of my own; and Mr. Daly would be again
+disappointed, as he had been the day I accepted, without protest, the
+walking-lady part.
+
+That night he barely nodded in silent recognition of my "Good-evening,
+sir." Next morning he kept his eyes averted from me when he gave me any
+stage directions; but whenever or wherever we women formed a little group
+to chat, there Mr. Daly, like a jack-in-the-box, suddenly sprang into
+evidence. It was very funny--he was simply waiting for me to repeat my
+interesting information.
+
+Two, three days passed, then a certain kindness began to show in his
+manner toward me. Quite suddenly, and of course unasked, he gave me a
+dressing-room to myself. I was delighted! Hesitatingly, I tapped at the
+door of his office. I had never stood there before, save by order. I
+said: "I will not come in, Mr. Daly, I only wished to thank you for the
+room you have given me. It will be a great comfort, for we are terribly
+crowded in the other one."
+
+But he rose, took my hand, and said: "You deserve anything and everything
+this theatre can provide for you." Drawing me to a chair, he placed me in
+it, while still speaking: "And I am proud of you. You are a girl in ten
+thousand! For you can respect a confidence."
+
+I was very much embarrassed by such unexpected warmth, and laughing
+nervously I said: "Even when the confidence was unintentional and deeply
+regretted?"
+
+"Ah!" he answered, "you saw that, did you? Well, I've been listening and
+waiting to hear about the 'new play' ever since, but not a word have you
+dropped, and I did not ask for silence either. You are a woman worth
+talking to, and I shall never be afraid to tell you things I am going to
+do, and----"
+
+And straightway he told me all about the new play--its good points, its
+bad ones, and where he feared for it; and to show you how true was his
+judgment, the play, which later on gave me a great personal success, was
+itself a failure from the very causes he then indicated.
+
+And so it came about that Mr. Daly, putting aside his dislike for
+me--coming to enjoy my sense of the ridiculous, instead of resenting
+it--confided many, many plans and dreams, likes and dislikes, hates and
+loves to me. We quarreled spitefully over politics, fought furiously over
+religion, wickedly bowed down and worshipped before odds and ends of
+lovely carvings or precious _cloisonne_, to whose beauty I first
+introduced him, and hung in mutual rapture over rare old engravings.
+
+Thus I came to know him fairly well. A man with unbounded ambition, a man
+of fine and delicate tastes, with a passionate love of beauty--in form,
+color, sound. I have known him to turn a sentence, exquisitely, word by
+word, slowly repeating the line, as though he were tasting its beauty, as
+well as hearing it. Interested in the occult and the inscrutable--a man
+of many tastes, but of one _single purpose_--every power and acquirement
+were brought to the service of the stage.
+
+In love he was mutability personified. In friendship, always exigent. Now
+sullenly silent, now rapidly talkative, whimsical, changeable, he was
+ever lavishly generous and warm-hearted. And it is a comfort to know that
+in one respect at least I proved satisfactory during the friendship that
+lasted as long as I remained in the theatre, since I never, even by
+chance, betrayed his confidence.
+
+When we had finally parted, a man one day mentioned me to Mr. Daly,
+expecting to bring forth some disparaging remark. There was a pause while
+my former manager gazed out at the heavily falling rain, then he said,
+quietly: "When you drop a thing in a well, it can go no further. Clara
+Morris is a sort of human well, what you confide to her goes no further.
+Some people call that 'discretion,' I call it loyalty. I--I guess you'll
+get a wetting on the way home." And acting on that hint the surprised
+gentleman withdrew. He told me himself of the occurrence, and I confess
+that Mr. Daly's words gave me a thrill of pleasure.
+
+After those two occurrences I found my theatrical life pleasanter, for I
+love my kind and wish to live at peace with them--and Mr. Daly's dislike
+had disturbed and distressed me; therefore, when that had been conquered,
+great was my contentment. A sympathetic word, a comprehending glance, a
+friendly smile, proving ample indemnification for former injuries.
+
+Nor could I be made to accept at full value the cruel gibes, the bitter
+sarcasms reported to me as coming from Miss Agnes Ethel. For some reason
+there was a distinct effort made to arouse in me an enmity against that
+lady. Unpleasant stories had been repeated to me during the run of "Man
+and Wife"; some of them had wounded me, but I had only listened silently.
+Then one night I met her--a slender, auburn-haired, appealing creature,
+with clinging fingers, sympathetic voice, and honest eyes--a woman whose
+charming and cordial manner not only won my admiration, but convinced me
+she was incapable of the brutalities charged to her.
+
+So when "Jezebel" was announced, and it was known that Mr. Daly desired
+Miss Ethel and me both to appear in it, great interest was aroused, only
+to be crushed by Miss Ethel's refusal to play the part allotted to her. I
+think she was in error, for the two parts were perfectly balanced. Mine
+was the wicked, even murderous adventuress; hers the gentle, sweet, and
+triumphant wife. I had the first act; she was not in that, but Mr.
+Daly's idea was that her victory in the last act--where I was simply
+pulverized for my sins--evened things up. But Miss Ethel listened to the
+advice of outside friends. Her relations with Mr. Daly were already
+strained, and her second refusal of a part was the beginning of the end.
+
+Mr. Daly himself informed me that she said her part was secondary, but
+that the real difficulty sprang from an earlier wrangle between them,
+with which I had nothing to do. Yet there were persons who, with great
+indignation, informed me that Miss Ethel had positively "refused to
+appear upon the stage in any play with me--a mere vulgar outsider!"
+
+But "vulgar outsider" was just a touch too strong; "malice had o'erleaped
+self" and fallen on the other side. The silly story even reached some of
+the papers, but that did not increase my belief in its truth.
+
+Mr. Daly and Miss Ethel parted company before, or at, the end of the
+season, and while I never worked with her, later on I privately received
+such gracious courtesies from her kindly hands that the name of Agnes
+Ethel must ever ring pleasantly in my ears.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVENTH
+
+  A Study of Stage-Management--I Am Tricked into Signing a New Contract.
+
+
+Before I came under the management of Mr. Daly, I may say I never really
+knew what stage-management meant. He was a young man then; he had had, I
+believe, his own theatre but one season before I joined his forces, yet
+his judgment was as ripe, his decisions were as swift and sure, his eye
+for effect was as true, his dramatic instinct as keen as well could be.
+
+We never exchanged so much as a frown, let alone a hasty word, over work.
+I realized that he had the entire play before his "mind's eye," and when
+he told me to do a thing, I should have done it, even had I not
+understood why he wished it done. But he always gave a reason for things,
+and that made it easy to work under him.
+
+His attention to tiny details amazed me. One morning, after Mr. Crisp had
+joined the company, he had to play a love-scene with me, and the
+"business" of the scene required him to hold me some time in his embrace.
+But Mr. Crisp's embrace did not suit Mr. Daly--no more did mine. Out he
+went, in front, and looked at us.
+
+"Oh," he cried, "confound it! Miss Morris, relax--relax! lean on him--he
+won't break! That's better--but lean more! lean as if you needed support!
+What? Yes, I know you don't need it--but you're in love, don't you see?
+and you're not a lady by a mile or two! For God's sake, Crisp, don't be
+so stiff and inflexible! Here, let me show you!"
+
+Up Mr. Daly rushed on to the stage, and taking Crisp's place, convulsed
+the company with his effort at acting the lover. Then back again to the
+front, ordering us to try that embrace again.
+
+"That's better!" he cried; "but hold her hand closer, tighter! not quite
+so high--oh, that's too low! Don't poke your arm out, you're not going to
+waltz. What in ---- are you scratching her back for?"
+
+It was too much; in spite of the awe in which Mr. Daly was held,
+everyone, Crisp included, screamed with laughter, while Mr. Daly fumed
+and fretted over the time that was being wasted.
+
+One of my early experiences of his way of directing a rehearsal made a
+deep impression upon me. In the play of "Jezebel" I had the title part.
+There were a number of characters on in the scene, and Mr. Daly wanted to
+get me across the stage, so that I should be out of hearing distance of
+two of the gentlemen. Now, in the old days, the stage-director would
+simply have said: "Cross to the Right," and you would have crossed
+because he told you to; but in Mr. Daly's day you had to have a _reason_
+for crossing the drawing-room, and so getting out of the two gentlemen's
+way--and a reason could not be found.
+
+Here are a few of the many rejected ideas: There was no guest for me to
+cross to in welcoming pantomime; no piano on that side of the room for me
+to cross to and play on softly; ah, the fireplace! and the pretty warming
+of one foot? But no, it was summer-time, that would not do. The ancient
+fancy-work, perhaps? No, she was a human panther, utterly incapable of so
+domestic an occupation. The fan forgotten on the mantel-piece? Ah, yes,
+that was it! you cross the room for that--and then suddenly I reminded
+Mr. Daly that he had, but a moment before, made a point of having me
+strike a gentleman sharply on the cheek with my fan.
+
+"Oh, confound it, yes!" he answered, "and that's got to stand--that blow
+is good!"
+
+The old, old device of attendance upon the lamp was suggested; but the
+hour of the day was plainly given by one of the characters as three
+o'clock in the afternoon.
+
+These six are but few of the many rejected reasons for that one cross of
+the stage; still Mr. Daly would not permit a motiveless action, and we
+came to a momentary standstill. Very doubtfully, I remarked: "I suppose a
+smelling-bottle would not be important enough to cross the room for?"
+
+He brightened quickly--clouded over even more quickly: "Y-e-e-s! N-o-o!
+at least, not if it had never appeared before. But let me see--Miss
+Morris, you must carry that smelling-bottle in the preceding scene,
+and--and, yes, I'll just put in a line in your part, making you ask some
+one to hand it to you--that will nail attention to it, you see! Then in
+this scene, when you leave these people and cross the room to get your
+smelling-bottle from the mantel, it will be a perfectly natural action on
+your part, and will give the men their chance of explanation and
+warning." And at last we were free to move on to other things.
+
+Above all was he eager to have his stage present a home-like interior.
+Never shall I forget my amazement when I first saw a piece of furniture
+occupying the very centre of the stage, while I with others were reduced
+to acting in any scrap of room we could "scrooge" into, as children say.
+
+Long trains were fashionable then, and it was no uncommon sight to see
+the lover standing with both feet firmly planted upon his lady's train
+while he implored her to fly with him--the poor man had to stand
+somewhere! Miss Davenport, in one of her comedy scenes, having to move
+about a good deal on the crowded stage, finally wound her trailing skirts
+so completely about a chair that, at her exit, the chair went with her,
+causing a great laugh.
+
+One night a male character, having to say boastfully to me: "I have my
+hand upon a fortune!" I added in an undertone: "And both feet upon my
+white satin dress!" at which he lost his grip (as the boys say) and
+laughed aloud--said laugh costing him a forfeit of fifty cents, which
+really should have been paid by me, as I was the guilty cause of that
+disastrous effect. But the gentleman was not only gallant but well used
+to being forfeited, and unconcernedly paid the penalty exacted.
+
+But really it was very distressing trying to make your way between pieces
+of furniture--stopping to release your skirts from first one thing and
+then another, and often destroying all the effect of your words by such
+action. One evening I petulantly observed to Mr. Daly: "I see now why one
+is only _woolly_ in the West--in the East one gets the wool all rubbed
+off on unnecessary pedestals and centre-divans."
+
+He laughed first, then pulled up sharply, saying: "Perhaps you did not
+notice that your comment contained a criticism of my judgment, Miss
+Morris? If I think the furniture necessary, that is sufficient," and I
+gave him a military salute and ran down-stairs. At the foot Mr. George
+Brown and one of the pretty young women stood. She was saying: "Now if
+any of _us_ had said there was too much crowding from that rubbishy old
+furniture, he would have made us pay a nice forfeit for it, but Miss
+Morris gets off scot-free!"
+
+"Yes, I know," said Mr. Brown, "but then she amused him first with the
+idea of rubbing the Western wool off here, and you can't very well laugh
+and then turn around and forfeit the person who made you do it."
+
+And so I learned that if no detail was too small for Mr. Daly to consider
+carefully in his preparation of a play, so no detail of daily life in his
+theatre was too small for notice, consideration, and comment, and I
+resolved to try hard to curb my careless speech, lest it get me into
+trouble.
+
+Early during that first week my friend, John Norton, said to me: "Have
+you spoken to Mr. Daly about your salary yet?"
+
+"Good gracious, no!" I answered.
+
+"Well, but you should," he persisted; "that is only business. You have
+made a great hit; he promised you to double thirty-five dollars if you
+made a favorable impression."
+
+"Well," I cried, "wait till salary-day, and very likely I'll get it; he
+will keep his word, only, for mercy's sake, give him a chance! It would
+insult him were I to remind him, now, of his promise."
+
+I was content to wait, but Mr. Norton was anxious. Monday came and,
+tremblingly, I opened my envelope to find thirty-five dollars--no more,
+no less. I knew what anyone else would do, I knew I was valuable to Mr.
+Daly, but, oh, those years and years of repression--for so long a time
+_to be seen--not heard_, had been the law of my weary life, and now the
+old thrall was upon me, I simply could not demand my right.
+
+The tears fell fast as I went home, with that miserable wage in my hand.
+We were in such dreadful straits for clothing. Other needs we could hide,
+but not the need of outer garments. I was quite sick with disappointment
+and anxiety, yet I would not permit Mr. Norton to go and speak for me, as
+that would mean gossip as to his right to interfere.
+
+I used to plan out exactly what I was going to say, and start a little
+earlier to the theatre, that I might have time to see Mr. Daly and remind
+him of his promise, and then, when I got there, unconquerable shame
+overcame me--I _could_ not!
+
+Then one night Mr. Daly asked me to sign a contract for five years, with
+a certain rise in salary each year. I utterly refused. I knew that would
+mean absolute bondage. He said he would raise my salary now, if I would
+sign; and I did actually whisper, that he had not kept his promise about
+this year's salary.
+
+He curtly answered: "Never mind this year--sign for five, and this season
+will then take care of itself!"
+
+"No," I said, and yet again "No!" "Mr. Daly," I cried, "I shall be
+grateful to you all the days of my life for giving me this chance in New
+York--you are treating me badly, but I am grateful enough not to rebel. I
+will play for you every season of my life, if you want me; I will never
+consider an offer without first telling you of it, but you must engage me
+but for one season at a time."
+
+"Then you can go!" he said. "All my people are engaged from three to five
+years--I will not break my rule for anyone; so now you can choose!"
+
+"Pardon me," I answered, huskily, "you chose for me when you told me to
+go!" I bowed to him and went out, sore at heart and deeply wounded, for I
+was keeping silent as to his broken promise out of sheer gratitude for
+the opening he had given me.
+
+The letter-box for the company hung near his private office. One night,
+as he unlocked his door, he saw old man Keating (the stage-door man)
+sorting out letters for the various boxes. One caught Mr. Daly's eye,
+bearing the name of Wallack. He took it from Keating's hand; it was
+addressed to Clara Morris. No one ever called Mr. Daly a dull man, and
+when he put two and two together, even in a hurry, he knew quite well
+that the result would be four; and when he put the words, "Wallack's
+Theatre," and the address, "Clara Morris," together he knew equally well
+the result would be an offered engagement. Then Mr. Daly put back the
+letter and said sharply to the reverent Keating: "Whatever you do, don't
+let Miss Morris pass you when she comes in. Stop her before she takes her
+key. Remember, whether early or late, stop her anyway, and send her to my
+room. Tell her it is urgent--you understand? Before she gets her key (by
+the letter-box) I _must_ see her!"
+
+Yes, he understood, for when I came in I was switched away from the
+key-board in a jiffy and rushed by the elbow to the governor's office,
+and even held there until the summons to enter answered the knock of the
+determined and obedient Keating.
+
+Inside, Mr. Daly, smiling benignly, greeted me as one greets a naughty,
+spoiled child, and pulling me by my fingers toward his desk, showed me a
+contract outspread: "A contract for _one_ season," he said, giving me a
+light tap on my ear. "Though you must promise silence on the subject, for
+there would be an outcry of favoritism if it were known that I broke a
+rule for you! Salary? oh, the salary is only fifty-five dollars, but we
+will balance that by my assistance in the matter of wardrobe. Whenever
+you have five dresses to buy I will provide three, which will belong to
+me afterward, of course--and--and just sign now, for I'm in a great
+haste, child, as I have an appointment to keep! Oh, you don't want any
+time to think over an engagement of just one season! You obstinate little
+block! and, by the way, I'll add five dollars a week to your present
+salary for the rest of the season, if you sign this--yes, that's the
+right place!"
+
+So pinched, so tormented were we for money that I signed instantly to
+secure that immediate poor little five dollars a week rise! Signed and
+went out to find, awaiting me in the letter-box, a better offer from Mr.
+Lester Wallack.
+
+And let me say right here that about the middle of the season I found
+that some young actresses, who handed me cards on the stage, and in laced
+caps and aprons appeared as maids in my service, were receiving for their
+arduous duties a higher salary than I received as leading woman and their
+play-mistress. "It's a strange world, my masters, a very strange world!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHTH
+
+  I Go to the Sea-shore--The Search for a "Scar"--I Make a Study of
+  Insanity, and Meet with Success in "L'Article 47."
+
+
+I had got safely through my first dreaded vacation. I had had two
+wonderful weeks at the seaside, where, with Mr. and Mrs. James Lewis and
+George Parkes, I had boarded with Mrs. By Baker, whom we left firmly
+convinced of our general insanity--harmless, but quite hopeless cases she
+thought us. Awed into reverent silence I had taken my first long look at
+the ocean; that mighty monster, object of my day-dreams all the years,
+lay that day outstretched, smiling, dimpling, blinking like the babe of
+giants, basking in the sun.
+
+I had inhaled with delight the briny coolness of its breath, and with my
+friends had engaged in wild romps in its waves, all of us arrayed
+meanwhile in bathing dresses of hideous aspect, made from gray flannel of
+penitential color and scratchiness, and most malignant modesty of cut;
+which were yet the eminently proper thing at that time.
+
+I almost wonder, looking at the bathing dresses of to-day, that old
+Ocean, who is a lover of beauty, did not dash the breath out of us, and
+then fling us high and dry on the beach, where the sands might quickly
+drift over our ugly shells and hide them from view.
+
+All this happened, and much more, before I came to the play "L'Article
+47," famous for its great French court scene, and for the madness of its
+heroine. I am so utterly lacking in self-confidence that it was little
+short of cruelty for Mr. Daly to tell me, as he did, that the fate of the
+play hung upon that single scene; that the production would be expensive
+and troublesome, and its success or failure lay absolutely in my hands.
+
+I turned white as chalk, with sheer fright, and could scarcely force
+myself to speak audibly, when asked if I could do the part.
+
+I answered, slowly, that I thought it unfair for Mr. Daly first to reduce
+me to a state of imbecility, through fear, and then ask me to make a
+close study of violent madness--since the two conditions were generally
+reversed.
+
+The people laughed, but there was no responsive smile on my lips, as I
+entered upon a period of mental misery that only ended with the
+triumphant first night.
+
+I did all I could do to get at _Cora's_ character and standing before the
+dread catastrophe--feeling that her madness must to some extent be tinged
+by past habits and personal peculiarities. I got a copy of the French
+novel--that was not an affectation, but a necessity, as it had not then
+been translated, and I was greatly impressed with the minute description
+of the destruction done by the bullet _George_ had fired into her face.
+Portions of the jaw-bone had been shot away; the eye, much injured, had
+barely been saved, but it was drawn and distorted.
+
+As the woman's beauty had been her letter of introduction to the gilded
+world, indeed had been her sole capital, that "scar" became of tremendous
+value in the make-up of the part, since it would explain, and in some
+scant measure excuse, her revengeful actions.
+
+Still, as the play was done in Paris, the "scar" was almost ignored by
+that brilliant actress, Madame Rousseil. I had her photograph in the part
+of _Cora_, and while she had a drapery passed low beneath her jaws to
+indicate some injury to her neck or breast, her face was absolutely
+unblemished.
+
+To my mind that weakened _Cora's_ case greatly--she had so much less to
+resent, to brood over.
+
+I took my trouble to Mr. Daly, after I had been out to the mad-house at
+Blackwell's Island, and had gained some useful information from that
+awful aggregation of human woe. He listened to Belot's description of
+_Cora's_ beauty and its wrecking "scar"; he looked condemningly at the
+Rousseil picture, and then asked me what I wanted to do.
+
+I told him I wanted a dreadful scar--then I wanted to veil it always; and
+he broke in with, "Then why have the scar, if it is to be veiled?"
+
+But I hurried on: "My constant care to keep it covered will make people
+imagine it a hundred times worse than it really is. Then when the veil is
+torn off by main force, and they catch a glimpse of the horror, they will
+not wonder that her already-tottering brain should give way under such a
+blow to her vanity."
+
+Mr. Daly studied over the matter silently for a few moments, then he
+said: "Yes, you are right. That scar is a great factor in the play; go
+ahead, and make as much of it as you can."
+
+But right there I came up against an obstacle. I was not good at even an
+eccentric make-up. I did not know how to proceed to represent such a
+scar, as I had in my mind.
+
+"Try," said Mr. Daly. I tried, and with tear-reddened eyes announced my
+failure, but I said: "I shall ask Mr. Lemoyne to help me--he is the
+cleverest and most artistic maker-up of faces I ever saw."
+
+"Yes," said Mr. Daly, "get him to try it after rehearsal; you have no
+time to lose now!"
+
+Only too well I knew that; so at once I approached Mr. Lemoyne, and made
+my wants known. I had not the slightest hesitation in doing so, because,
+in spite of his sinful delight in playing jokes on me, he was the
+kindest, most warm-hearted of comrades; and true to that character he at
+once placed his services at my disposal, though he shook his head very
+doubtfully over the undertaking.
+
+"You know I never saw a scar of such a nature in my life," he said, as he
+lighted up his dressing-room.
+
+"Oh," I said, "you, who can change your nose or your mouth or your eyes
+at will, can make an ugly scar, easily enough," and off went hat and
+veil, and Mr. Lemoyne, using my countenance for his canvas, began work.
+
+He grew more and more glum as he wiped off and repainted. One scar was
+too small--oh, much too small. Then the shattered jaw-bone was described.
+Again he tried. "Clara," he said, "I can't do it, because I don't know
+what I am aiming at!"
+
+"Oh, go on!" I pleaded, "make a hideous scar, then I'll learn how from
+you, and do it myself."
+
+He was patience and kindness personified, but when at last he said he
+could do no more, I looked in the glass, and--well, we both laughed
+aloud, in spite of our chagrin. He said: "It looks as though some
+street-boy had given you a swat in the eye with a chunk of mud."
+
+I mournfully washed it off and begged him to try just once
+more--to-morrow; and he promised with a doleful air.
+
+I had tears in my eyes as I left the theatre, I was so horribly cast
+down, for if Mr. Lemoyne could not make up that scar no one could. But he
+used too much black--that was a grave mistake, and--oh, dear! _now_ what?
+Men were peeling up the stone walk. I could not go home by the Sixth
+Avenue car as usual, without a lot of bother and muddy shoes. I was just
+tired enough from rehearsal and disappointed enough to be irritated by
+the tiniest _contretemps_, and I almost whimpered, as I turned the other
+way and took a Broadway car. I dropped into a corner. Three men were on
+my side of the car. I glanced casually at them, and, "Goodness mercy!"
+said I to myself, "what are they gazing at--they look fairly frightened?"
+
+I followed the direction of their eyes, and, I gasped! I felt goose-flesh
+creeping up my arms! On the opposite side sat a large and handsome
+mulatto woman, a small basket of white linen was on her knees, her face
+was turned toward the driver, and oh, good God! not so long ago, her
+throat had been cut almost from ear to ear!
+
+The scar was hideous--sickening, it made one feel faint and frightened,
+but I held my quivering nerves with an iron hand--here was my scar for
+_Cora_! I must study it while I could. It had not been well cared for, I
+imagine, for the edges of the awful gash were puckered, as though a
+gathering thread held them. There was a queer, cord-like welt that looked
+white, while the flesh either side was red and threatening; and then, as
+if she felt my eyes, the woman turned and faced me. A dull color rose
+slowly over her mutilated throat and handsome face, and she felt hastily
+for a kerchief, which was pinned at the back of her dress-collar, and
+drew the ends forward and tied them.
+
+I kept my eyes averted after that, but when I left the car weariness was
+forgotten. I stopped at a druggist's shop, bought sticking-plaster,
+gold-beaters' skin, and absorbent cotton, and with springy steps reached
+home, materials in hand, model in memory--I was content, I had found my
+scar at last!
+
+If you are about to accuse me of hardness of heart in using, to my own
+advantage, this poor woman's misfortune, don't, or at least wait a moment
+first.
+
+When I had gone through the asylum's wards and the doctor had called my
+attention to this or that exceptional case and had tried to make clear
+_cause_ and _effect_; when I had noted ophidian's stealth in one and
+tigerish ferocity in another, I suddenly realized that to single one of
+these unfortunates out, then to go before an indifferent crowd of people
+and present to them a close copy of the helpless afflicted one, would be
+an act of atrocious cruelty. I could not do it! I would instead seize
+upon some of the general symptoms, common to all mad people, and build up
+a mad-scene with their aid, thus avoiding a cruel imitation of one of
+God's afflicted.
+
+So in this scar I was not going exactly to copy that riven throat, but,
+with slender rolls of cotton, covered and held by gold-beaters' skin, I
+was going to create dull white welts with angry red spaces painted
+between--with strong sticking-plaster attached to my eyelid, I was going
+to draw it from its natural position. Oh, I should have a rare scar! yet
+that poor woman might herself see it without suspecting she had given me
+the idea.
+
+Oh, what a time of misery it was, the preparation of that play! Poor Mr.
+Daly--and poor, poor Miss Morris!
+
+You see everything hung upon the mad-scene. Yet, when we came to that, I
+simply stood still and spoke the broken, disjointed words.
+
+"But what are you going to do at night?" Mr. Daly cried. "Act your scene,
+Miss Morris."
+
+Act it, in cold blood, there, in the gray, lifeless daylight? with a
+circle of grinning, sardonic faces, ready to be vastly amused over my
+efforts? He might better have asked me to deliver a polished address in
+beautiful, pellucid Greek, to compose at command a charming little
+_rondeau_ in sparkling French, or a prayer in sonorous Latin--they would
+have been easier for me to do, than to gibber, to laugh, to screech, to
+whisper, whimper, rave, to crouch, crawl, stride, fall to order in
+street-clothes, and always with those fiendish "guyers" ready to assist
+in my undoing. Yet, poor Mr. Daly, too! I was sorry for him, he had so
+much at stake. It _was_ asking a good deal of him to trust his fate
+entirely, blindly to me.
+
+"Oh!" I said, "I would if I could--do please believe me! I want to do as
+you wish me to, but, dear Mr. Daly, I can't, my blood is cold in
+daylight, I am ashamed, constrained! I cannot act then!"
+
+"Well, give me some _faint_ idea of what you are going to do," he cried,
+impatiently.
+
+"Dear goodness!" I groaned, "I am going to try to do all sorts of
+things--loud and quiet, fast and slow, close-eyed cunning, wide-eyed
+terror! There, that's all I can tell about it!" and I burst into harassed
+tears.
+
+He said never another word, but I used to feel dreadfully when, at
+rehearsals, he would rise and leave the stage as soon as we reached the
+mad-scene.
+
+Then it happened we could not produce the play on Monday. An old comedy
+was put on for that one night. I was not in it, and Mr. Daly, seeing how
+near I was to the breaking-point with hard work and terror, tried to give
+me a bit of pleasure. He got tickets for my mother and me, and sent us to
+the opera to hear Parepa and Wachtel. I was radiant with delight; but,
+alas, when did I ever have such high spirits without a swift dampening
+down. Elaborately dressed as to hair, all the rest of my little best was
+singularly plain for the opera. Still I was happy enough and greatly
+excited over our promised treat.
+
+Mother and I set out to go to Miss Linda Dietz's home, where we were to
+pick her up, and, under escort of her brother, go over to the Academy of
+Music. We could not afford a carriage, so we had to take one of the
+'busses then in existence. Mr. Daly had sent me, with my box tickets, a
+pair of white gloves, and with extreme carefulness I placed them in my
+pocket, drawing on an old pair to wear down to Fifteenth Street, where I
+would don the new ones at Miss Dietz's house. How I blessed my
+fore-thought later on!
+
+Long skirts were worn, so were bustles. A man in the omnibus was in
+liquor; he sat opposite me, right by the door. I signaled to stop. Mother
+passed out before me--I descended. The man's feet were on my dress-skirt.
+I tried to pull it free--he stupidly pulled in the door. The 'bus
+started--I was flung to the pavement!
+
+I threw my head back violently to save my face from the cobbles, my hands
+and one knee were beating the cruel stones. Mother screamed to the
+driver, a gentleman sprang to the horses, stopped them, picked me up, and
+even then had to thrust the drunken man's feet from my torn flounce. I
+had faintly whispered: "My glass--my fan!" and the gentleman, placing me
+in mother's arms, went out into the street and found them for me. I sat
+on a bench in the Park: I was shaken and bruised and torn and muddy, but
+I would not go home--not I, I was going to hear Parepa and Wachtel!
+
+The gentleman simply would not leave us; he gave me his arm to Miss
+Dietz's house, and I needed its aid, for each moment proved I was worse
+hurt than I had at first thought. There, however, when with my heartiest
+thanks we parted from our good Samaritan, the Dietz family, with dismayed
+faces, received us. They were kindness personified. I was sponged and
+arnicaed and plastered and sewed and brushed, and at last my ankle's hurt
+being acknowledged, it was tightly bound. The new white gloves safely
+came forth, and "Dietzie and Morrie" (our nicknames for each other) set
+forth, with brother Frank and mother in attendance, and arrived at the
+crowded Academy just as the curtain rose. We went quite wild with delight
+over the old moss-draped "Il Trovatore." I broke my only handsome
+fan--applauding. Suddenly "Dietzie" saw me whiten--saw me close my eyes.
+She thought it was the pain of my ankle, but it was a sudden memory of
+_Cora_ and the mad-scene. As the whirlwind of applause roared about me, I
+sickened with a mortal terror of the ordeal awaiting me. I hope I may
+always thrust Satan behind me with the whole-hearted force I used in
+thrusting "L'Article 47" behind me on that occasion. I returned to "Il
+Trovatore." I enjoyed each liquid jewel of a note, helped to raise the
+roof, afterward declined supper, hastened home, romped my dog, and put
+her to bed. Got into a dressing-gown, locked myself in my room, and had
+it out with _Cora_, from A to Z. Tried this walk and that crouch; read
+this way and that way. Found the exact moment when her mind began to
+cloud, to waver, to recover, to break finally and irretrievably.
+Determined positively just where I should be at certain times; allowed a
+margin for the impulse or inspiration of the moment, and at last, with
+the character crystal-clear before me, I ended my work and my vigil.
+
+After turning out the gas I went to the window and looked at the sky. The
+stars had gone in; low down in the east a faint, faint band of pink held
+earth and sky together. I was calm and quite ready to rest. All my
+uncertainty was at an end. What the public would do I could not know;
+what I would do was clear and plain before me at last.
+
+Poor Mr. Daly! I sighed, for I knew _his_ anxiety and uneasiness were not
+allayed. Bertie, tired of waiting for me, had curled her loving little
+body up in my pillow--a distinct breach of family discipline. A few
+moments later, feeling her small tail beating a blissful tattoo on my
+feet, I muttered, laughingly: "A little prayer, a little dog, and a
+little rest," and so sank into the sound sleep I so desperately needed,
+in preparation for the ever-to-be-dreaded first night of "L'Article 47"
+of the French Penal Code.
+
+The house was packed. Well-known people were seen all through the
+theatre. Act I. represented the French Court with a trial in full
+swing--it played for one hour, lacking three minutes. I was on the stage
+ten minutes only. I was told Mr. Daly shook his head violently at the
+curtain's fall.
+
+The next act I was not in at all, but it dragged, and when that was over
+Mr. Daly's peculiar test of public feeling showed the presence of
+disappointment. Like many other managers, he often placed men here and
+there to listen to the comments made by his patrons, but his quickest,
+surest way of judging the effect a new play was making, was by watching
+and listening at the very moment of the curtain's fall. If the people
+instantly turned to one another in eager speech, and a bee-like hum of
+conversation arose, he nodded his head with pleased satisfaction--he knew
+they were saying, "How lovely!" "That was a fine effect!" "We've had
+nothing better for a long time!" "It's just divine!" "It's great!" etc.
+
+When they spoke slowly and briefly, he shook his head; but when they sat
+still and gazed steadily straight ahead of them, he called a new play for
+rehearsal next morning.
+
+That second act had made him shake his head; the third came on with
+_Cora's_ rejected love, her strangling tears of self-pity, her whirlwind
+of passion, ending with that frantic and incredible threat. The people
+caught at it! I suppose the swiftness of its action, the heat and fury
+following so close upon the two slow, dull acts, pleased and aroused
+them. The curtain went up and down, up and down, call after call, and
+when at last it was allowed to remain down, myriads of bees might have
+been swarming in front, and Mr. Daly, nodding and smiling as I rushed
+past on my way to change my gown, said: "Hear 'em--hear the bees
+buzz--that's good! Now if only you----"
+
+I waited not for the rest--too well I knew how to complete the sentence:
+"If only I could safely hive those swarming bees" for him. Could I? Oh,
+could I? for the moment was at hand, the "mad-scene," so dreaded, so
+feared!
+
+Three things I had counted upon to help my effects: the crouch, the
+laugh, the scar. The crouch had just done splendid service at the end of
+Act III. Would the other two be as effective?
+
+I went up to the stage; I was to be discovered lying on a lounge. Miss
+Davenport, magnificently handsome in person and gown, beside me; the
+others at the gambling-table. As she took my hand she gave a sharp little
+cry: "Heavens!" she said, "you might be dead, you are like ice!" She
+touched my forehead, asking, "Are you ill? Why, your head is burning,
+hot! hot! hot! Mr. Daly, just touch her hands and head!"
+
+He looked down on me in silence; two pairs of frightened eyes met; he
+gave a groan; threw out his hands helplessly; stepped off the stage, and
+signaled the curtain up on what was to make or break the play--and he
+knew no more what to expect than did one of the ushers out in front.
+
+Under cover of the music and the applause accompanying the curtain's
+rise, I caught myself muttering, vaguely: "The power and the glory--the
+power and the glory," and knew that involuntarily I was reaching out for
+the old staff on which I had leaned so many times before.
+
+The scene was on--the laughing cynicism of the _Baroness_--the chatter of
+the players--then, at last, _George_ and _Cora_ were alone!
+
+My terror had slipped from me like a garment, I was in the play once
+more; save for just one awful moment! _George_ had torn the veil from my
+disfigured face, and, casting in my teeth the accusation: "You are mad!"
+had left me there alone, standing, stunned by the word! That was the
+moment of actual dethronement of reason, and, as I slowly, stupidly
+turned my eyes, I saw Mr. Daly's white face thrust forward eagerly. His
+gray eyes wide and glowing, his thin hand tightly grasping the lapel of
+his coat, his whole being expressing the very anguish of anxiety!
+
+One moment I felt I was lost! I had been dragged out of the play at the
+crucial moment! I clasped my hands across my eyes: "The kingdom and the
+power!" I groaned--I faced the other way! The low, eerie music caught my
+attention and awakened my imagination, in another second I was as mad as
+a March hare. The first time the low, gibbering laugh swelled into the
+wild, long-sustained shrieking _ha! ha!_ a voice said, low and clear:
+"Oh, dear God!"
+
+Yet I who had heard the genuine laugh at the mad-house knew this to be
+but a poor, tame, soulless thing, compared to that Hecate-like
+distillation--the very essence of madness, that ran through that real
+gibber of laughter.
+
+Yet it was enough. At the end there came to me one of those moments God
+grants now and then as a reward for long thirst, way-weariness, and
+heart-sickness patiently borne! One of those foolishly divine moments you
+stand with the gods and, like them, are young and fair and powerful! Your
+very nerves thrill harmonious, like harp-strings attune--your blood
+courses like quicksilver for swiftness, like wine for warmth, and on that
+fair peak of Triumph, where one tarries but by moments, there is no
+knowledge of sin or suffering, of death or hate; there is only sunshine,
+the sunshine of success! love for all those creatures who turn smiling
+faces on you, who hold their hands to you with joyous cries!
+
+There is no question of deserts, of qualifications! No analysis, no
+criticism then--they follow later! That is just a moment of delicious
+madness; and to distinguish it from other frenzies it is called--a
+Dramatic Triumph!
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER THIRTY-NINTH
+
+  I Am too Dull to Understand a Premonition--By Mr. Daly's Side I See the
+  Destruction of the Fifth Avenue Theatre by Fire.
+
+
+How shall I call that strange influence that dumbly tries to warn, to
+prepare?
+
+Many of us have had experience of this nameless something whose efforts
+are but rarely heeded. The something that one morning suddenly fills the
+mind with thoughts of some friend of the far past, who is almost entirely
+forgotten--persistent thoughts not to be shaken off.
+
+You speak of the matter, and your family exclaim: "What on earth ever
+brought him to your mind?" and that night you either hear of the old
+friend's death or he sends you a letter from the other side of the world.
+
+I had an acquaintance who one day found herself compelled, as it were, to
+talk of thefts, of remarkable robberies. She seemed unable to turn her
+mind to any other subject. If she looked at a lock, she thought how easy
+it would be to force it; at a window, how readily a man might enter it.
+Her people laughed and told her she was hoodooed; but next day she was
+robbed of every jewel she had in the world. What was it that was trying
+dumbly to warn her?
+
+It was on the 1st of January that my mind became subject to one of those
+outside seizures. The snow was banked high in the streets--had been so
+for days. The unexpected sale of the house in Twenty-first Street had
+forced me to new quarters; I was at that moment in Twenty-fourth Street.
+As I raised my head from kissing my mother a Happy New Year, I remarked:
+"The streets are in a terrible condition for a great fire--are they
+not?"
+
+"Let us hope there won't be a great fire," replied mother, and began to
+pour out the coffee.
+
+A little later the French lady coming in, to pass the compliments of the
+day, I was immediately moved to ask her if our fire service here was not
+superior to that of Paris? And I was greatly pleased at her joyous
+acquiescence, until I discovered that her remarks had reference to our
+larger fireplaces--there are always certain drawbacks accompanying a
+foreign landlady.
+
+Then I went to the matinee--for, lo, the poor actress always does double
+work on days of festivity for the rest of the world, and all occasions of
+legalized feasting find her eating "a cold bite." We were doing a play
+called "False Shame," known in England as "The White Feather," a very
+light three-act play. The dresses and scenery were beautiful; Mr. Daly
+provided me with one gown--a combination of sapphire-blue velvet and
+Pompadour brocade that came within an ace of making me look handsome,
+like the rest.
+
+He remarked upon its effect, and I told him I felt compelled to look
+well, since I had nothing else to do; but the day had gone by when such
+remarks could anger him. He laughed good-humoredly and said: "All the
+same, Miss, that scene at the organ is mighty pretty and taking, too."
+
+For, look you, in the theatre "a little knowledge is not a dangerous
+thing." Complete knowledge is, of course, preferable; but, ah, how far a
+very little will go, and here was my poor tum-tumming, "one _and_ two
+_and_ three _and_," filling Mr. Daly's very soul with joy, because
+forsooth, in a lovely old English interior, all draped in Christmas
+greens, filled with carved-wood furniture, big logs burning in an
+enormous fireplace, wax candles in brass sconces, two girls are at the
+organ in dinner dress, who, nervously anxious about a New Year carol,
+with which they are going to surprise their guests at mid-night, seize
+the moment before dinner to try said carol over.
+
+Miss Davenport, regal in satin, stood, music in hand, the fire-light on
+her handsome face. I, seated at the organ in my precious blue and
+brocade, played the accompaniment, and sang alto, and, though terror over
+this simple bit of work brought me to the verge of nervous prostration,
+the scene was, from the front, like a stolen peep into some beautiful
+private home, and it brought an astonishing amount of applause. But if I
+had not "_one_ two threed" in Cincinnati on that grinning old piano,
+where would the organ-scene have been? Ah, a little knowledge, if spread
+ever so thin by a master hand like Mr. Daly's, will prove useful.
+
+So don't refuse to learn a little because you fear you cannot afford to
+study thoroughly--if you are an actress.
+
+While I was sitting through a long wait that day I fell into a brown
+study. The theatre dresser, who was very fond of me and gave me every
+spare moment of her time, came into my room and twice addressed me before
+I came out of my reverie.
+
+"What in the world are you thinking of, Miss Clara?" she asked, and I
+answered with another question: "Mary, were you ever in a great fire?"
+
+"No," she said; "were you?"
+
+"Yes," I answered; "I have been twice burned out from shelter at dead of
+night," and I told her of that hotel fire at 3 A.M., where there was but
+one stairway to the street; of the mad brutality of the men; of the
+terrible and the ludicrous scenes; of my own escape, quite alone, in bare
+feet and one white garment; of my standing across a leaking hose, while a
+strange man pulled my right arm, frantically crying, "You come with me!
+my mother's got a blanket to wrap you up in!" and Mr. Ellsler, who had
+just arrived, seized my left arm, dragging me his way and shouting, "Come
+over to the house and get to bed quick, before you die of exposure!"
+while I felt the water spraying my forlornly shivering shins, and was
+more nearly torn asunder than was ever the Solomon baby.
+
+"Oh, my!" said Mary, "how dreadful!"
+
+"Yes," I said, musingly, "and what a fire this place would make--all
+these partitions of painted pine!"
+
+"Oh, don't!" protested Mary.
+
+"But," said I, "you know that's what theatres are built for--to burn is
+their natural end!" and then I was called, and went up-stairs to saunter
+through another act of the mild little play.
+
+I owned but little jewelry then, but what I had was noticeably good. My
+rings, including the handsome pearl one Mr. Daly had given me as a
+souvenir of "47," I had to remove from my fingers for the last act, and
+when the curtain had fallen and I had rushed myself into street garments,
+and was leaving the dressing-room in haste to join my waiting mother at
+dinner, Mary called to me: "Miss Clara, you are leaving your diamond
+rings--but never mind," she picked them up and dropped them, one by one,
+into a little box: "I'll lock the door myself, you run along, the rings
+will be safe enough--run!" and the answering words I heard swiftly
+leaving my lips were absolutely involuntary and dictated by no thought of
+mine. They were:
+
+"Yes, as far as theft is concerned, they are safe enough, but in case of
+fire? Better give them to me, Mary. Oh!" for the girl had dropped one on
+the floor. It was a bit of Oriental enamel set about with tiny sparks of
+diamonds. I put the others on, but would not wait for her to pick up the
+rolling truant, and away I went.
+
+At the corner of Sixth Avenue and Twenty-fourth Street I came to a
+stand-still before two great snow-banks, and I thought again what they
+might mean in case of a fire.
+
+I reached home at a brisk pace, ran up-stairs, threw off my cloak, and
+had drawn my dress-waist half off, when, without a preliminary knock, the
+door was flung open and my landlord, Mr. Bardin, white with the
+excitement that had wiped out his knowledge of English, stood
+gesticulating wildly and hurling French at me in seething masses. I
+caught "_le feu!_" "_le feu!_" many times repeated; then "_le theatre!_"
+and with a cry I seized his arm and shook him.
+
+"What is it?" I cried, "do you mean fire?"
+
+He nodded, and again came the words: "_le theatre!_"
+
+"Good heaven and earth! you don't mean _my_ theatre, do you?" and then
+two great horses, hurling a fire-engine around the corner into our street
+made swift and terrifying answer. With a piercing cry I caught up my
+cloak, and throwing off somebody's restraining hands I dashed down-stairs
+and into the street, racing like mad, giving sobbing cries, and utterly
+unconscious for over two blocks' space that my waist was unclosed and my
+naked throat and chest were bare to the wintry wind.
+
+At the corner of the street at Sixth Avenue I wrung my hands in anguish,
+crying, "Oh, dear God! I knew it! I knew it!" for there, stalled in the
+snow, was the engine, so desperately needed a little further on! And as I
+resumed my run I said to myself: "What is it that has tried so hard to
+tell me--to warn me? Tried all the day--and I would not understand--and
+now it's too late!"
+
+Why I ran I do not know--it was not curiosity. I felt, somehow, that if I
+could get there in time I might do something--God knows what! As I neared
+the theatre the crowd grew more dense, yet to my gasping: "Please, oh,
+please!" an answer came in a quick moving aside to let pass the woman
+with the white, tear-wet face. I broke through the cordon and was making
+for the stage-door, when a rough hand caught me by the shoulder. There
+was an oath, and I was fairly hurled back toward the safety line.
+
+"Oh, let me alone!" I cried, "I want to go to my room! It will take me
+but a moment!"
+
+Again the rough hand reached out for me, when a strange man threw his arm
+in front of me protectingly: "Take care what you're about!" he said. "Be
+a little gentle--she has a right close to the line, she's one of the
+company! Can't you see?"
+
+"Oh," grunted the policeman, "well, I didn't know, and I couldn't let her
+kill herself!"
+
+"No," said the stranger, "but you had no call to pitch her about as you
+did!" And just then a long, thin hand caught mine, and Mr. Daly's voice
+said: "Come here, child!" and he led me across the street and up some
+steps, and there, opposite the burning building, I could realize the
+madness of my act in trying to enter. The front of the building stood
+firm, but beyond it, within, all was seething flame. It was like some
+magnificent spectacular production--some Satanic pantomime and ballet,
+and every now and then a whirling flame, crowned with myriad sparks,
+sprang madly up into the very sky like some devilish _premiere danseuse_;
+while the lesser fiends joined hands and circled frenziedly below.
+
+Mr. Daly never spoke a word. He had not released my fingers, and so we
+stood, hand in hand, watching silently over the torment of his beloved
+theatre--the destruction of his gathered treasures. I looked up at him.
+His face gleamed white in the firelight; his eyes were wide and strained;
+his fingers, icy cold, never lessened their clinching grasp on mine. Then
+came the warning cry firemen are apt to give when they know the roof is
+going. I had heard it often, and understood that and their retreating
+movement. Mr. Daly did not, and when, with a crackling crash, the whole
+roof fell into the roaring depths, his hand, his body, relaxed suddenly;
+a sort of sobbing groan escaped his pale lips. But when the column of
+glowing sparks flew high into the air he turned away with a shiver and
+gave not one other look at the destroyed building.
+
+Not one word was spoken on the subject. Glancing down he noticed I had no
+rubbers on and that streams of water were running in the street:
+
+"Go home, child!" he said, speaking quickly and most kindly. A crowd of
+reporters came up to him: "Yes," he said, "in one moment, gentlemen,"
+then to me: "Hurry home, get something to eat--you could have had no
+dinner!"
+
+He gave one heavy sigh, and added: "I'm glad you were with me, it would
+have been worse alone." He pushed me gently from him. As I started down
+the street he called: "I'll send you word some time to-night what we're
+to do."
+
+I left him to the reporters; I had not spoken one word from the moment I
+had begged to enter my dressing-room. I felt strangely sad and forlorn as
+I dropped, draggled and tired, into a chair. I said to mother: "It's
+gone! the only theatre in New York whose door was not barred against me,
+and--I--I think that at this moment I know just how a dog feels who has
+lost a loved master," and, dropping my face upon my hands, I wept long
+over the destruction of my first dramatic home in New York, the little
+Fifth Avenue Theatre.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FORTIETH
+
+  We Become "Barn-stormers," and Return to Open the New Theatre--Our
+  Astonishing Misunderstanding of "Alixe," which Proves a Great Triumph.
+
+
+My first thought on awaking the next morning was one of dismay, on
+recalling the destruction of the little "P.H.C."--that being the actors
+contraction of Mr. Daly's somewhat grandiloquent "Parlor Home of Comedy."
+My grief over the burning of the pretty toy theatre was very real, and I
+would have been an astonished young woman had anyone prophesied that for
+me, personally, the disaster was to prove a piece of unqualified good
+luck.
+
+And, by the way, that expression "good luck" reminds me of one of the
+incidents of the fire. That morning, when the firemen went to the ruins
+to examine into the state of the standing front wall, they looked upward,
+and there, all alone, on the burned and blackened space, smiling down in
+friendly fashion upon them, was the picture of Clara Morris--a bit
+charred as to frame and smoky as to glass, but the photograph (one taken
+by Kurtz), absolutely uninjured, being the one and only thing saved from
+the ruins. The firemen very naturally wanted it for their engine-house,
+and Mr. Daly said that for it many were claiming, pleading, demanding,
+bartering--but all in vain. His superstition was aroused. Not for
+anything in the world, he cried, would he part from his "luck," as he
+ever after called the rescued picture. So there again appeared the malice
+of inanimate things, for how else could one account for the plunging of
+that line, the entire length of the staircase, of splendidly framed
+pictures of loveliness, into the fiery depths, while the plain and
+unimportant one kept its place in calm security?
+
+Mr. Daly had a very expensive company on his hands. He had amazed other
+managers by his "corner" on leading men. With three already in his
+company he had not hesitated to draw on Boston for Harry Crisp, and on
+Philadelphia for Mr. Louis James; and when he added such names as George
+Clark, Daniel Harkins, George DeVere, James Lewis, William Lemoyne,
+William Davidge, A. Whiting, Owen Fawcett, George Parkes, F. Burnett, H.
+Bascombe, J. Beekman, Charles Fisher, George Gilbert, etc., one can
+readily understand that the salary of the men alone must have made quite
+an item in the week's expenses, and added to the sharp necessity of
+getting us to work as quickly as possible. And in actual truth the ruins
+of the little theatre were not yet cold when Mr. Daly had, by wire,
+secured a week for us, divided between Syracuse and Albany, and we were
+scrambling dresses together and buying new toilet articles--rouge,
+powders, and pomades, and transforming ourselves into "strolling
+players"; though, sooth to say, there was precious little "strolling"
+done after we started, for we were all rushing for rooms, for food, for
+trains, through a blizzard that was giving us plenty of delaying
+snow-drifts. And while the company was cheerfully "barn-storming," Mr.
+Daly was doing his best to find shelter for us in New York, engaging the
+little one-time church on Broadway. He had painters, paper-hangers,
+scrub-women, upholsterers, climbing over one another in their frantic
+efforts to do all he desired to have done in about one-half the
+regulation time allowed for such work; and while they toiled day and
+night with much noise and great demonstration of haste, he sat
+statue-still in a far corner, mentally reviewing every manuscript in his
+possession, searching eagerly for the one that most nearly answered to
+the needs of the moment. Namely, a play that required a strong cast of
+characters (he had plenty of men and women), little preparation, and
+scanty scenery (since he was short of both time and money). And, finding
+"Alixe," then known as "The Countess de Somerive," he stopped short. The
+action of the play covered but one day--that was promising. There were
+but three acts--good; but two scenes--better! A conventional chateau
+garden-terrace for one act, and a simply elegant morning-room or stately
+drawing-room, according to managerial taste, could stand for the other
+two acts. A strong and dramatic work--requiring the painting of but two
+scenes. The play was found! The company was ordered home to rehearse it.
+
+Now at that time, to my own great anxiety, I was by way of standing on
+very dangerous ground. The public had favored me almost extravagantly
+from the very first performance of _Anne Sylvester_, but the critics, at
+least the most important two, seemed to praise my efforts with a certain
+unwilling drag of the pen. Nearly all their kind words had the sweetness
+squeezed out of them between "buts" and "ifs," and, most wounding of all,
+my actual work was less often criticized than were my personal defects.
+Occasionally an actress's work may be too good for her own welfare. You
+doubt that? Yet I know an actress, still in harness, who in her lovely
+prime made so great a hit, in the part of an adventuress, that she has
+had nothing else to act since. Whenever a play was produced with such a
+character in it, she was sent for. But if she was proposed for a loyal
+wife, a gentle sweetheart, a modern heroine, the quick response
+invariably was: "Oh, she can't play anything but the adventuress."
+
+There is nothing more fatal to the artistic value, to the future welfare
+of a young player, than to be known as "a one-part actress"; yet that was
+the very danger that was threatening me at the time of the burning of the
+home theatre. Following other parts known as strong, _Jezebel_, the
+half-breed East Indian, a velvet-footed treachery and twice would-be
+murderess, and _Cora_, the quadroon mad-woman, were in a fair way to
+injure me greatly. Already one paper had said: "Miss Morris has a
+strange, intuitive comprehension of these creatures of mixed blood."
+
+But worse than that, the most powerful of the two critics I dreaded had
+said one morning: "Miss Morris played with care and much feeling. The
+audience wept _copiously_" (to anyone who has long read the great critic,
+that word "copiously" is tantamount to his full signature, so
+persistently does he use it), "but her performance was flecked with those
+tigerish gleams that seem to be a part of her method. She will probably
+find difficulty in equaling in any other line her success as _Cora_."
+
+No animal had ever a keener sense of approaching danger than I had, when
+my professional welfare was threatened, and these small straws told me
+plainly which way the wind was beginning to blow, and now, looking back,
+I am convinced that just one more "tigerish part" at that time would have
+meant artistic ruin to me, for, figuratively speaking, pens were already
+dipped to write me down "a one-part actress."
+
+Then, one bitter cold day we returned to New York and Mr. Daly, sending
+for me, said he must ask a favor of me. A form of speech that literally
+made me "sit up straight"--yes, and gasp, too, with astonishment. With a
+regretful sigh he went on: "I suppose you know you are a strong
+attraction?"
+
+I smiled broadly at his evident disapproval of such knowledge on my part,
+and he continued: "But in this play there is no part for you--yet I
+greatly need all my strongest people in this first cast. Of course as far
+as ability is concerned you could play the _Countess_ and make a hit, but
+she's too old--so you'll not play the mother to marriageable daughters
+under my management, even in an emergency. Now I have Miss Morant, Miss
+Davenport and Miss Dietz, but--but I must have your name, too."
+
+I nodded vigorously--I understood. And having seen the play in Paris,
+where it was one of the three pieces offered for an evening's programme,
+I mentally reviewed the cast and presently made answer, cheerfully and
+honestly: "Oh, yes! I see--it's that--'er--_Aline?_ _Justine?_ No, no!
+_Claudine?_ that's the name of the maid. You want me to go on for that?
+All right! anything to help!"
+
+He leaned forward, asking, eagerly: "Do you mean that?"
+
+"Of course I do!" I answered.
+
+"Ah!" he cried, "you don't guess well, Miss Morris, but you've the heart
+of a good comrade, and now I'm sure you will do as I ask you, and play
+_Alixe_ for me?"
+
+I sprang to my feet with a bound. "_Alixe?_" I cried. "I to play that
+child? oh, impossible! No--no! I should be absurd! I--I--I know too
+much--oh, you understand what I mean! She is a little convent-bred bit of
+innocence--a veritable baby of sixteen years! Dear Mr. Daly don't you
+see, I should ruin the play?"
+
+He answered, rather coldly: "You are not given to ruining plays. The part
+does not amount to much. Good heavens! I admit it does not suit you, but
+think of my position; give me the benefit of your name as _Alixe_ for one
+single week, and on the second Monday night Miss Jewett shall take the
+part off your hands."
+
+"But," I whimpered, "the critics will make me the butt of their ridicule,
+for I can't make myself look like an _Alixe_."
+
+"Oh, no they won't!" he answered, sharply. "Of course you won't expect a
+success, but you need fear no gibes for trying to help me out of a
+dramatic hole. Will you help me?" And of course there was nothing to do
+but swallow hard and hold out my hand for the unwelcome part.
+
+Imagine my surprise when, on my way to rehearsal, I saw posters up,
+announcing the production of the play of "Alixe." I met Mr. Daly at the
+door and said: "Why this play was always called 'The Countess of
+Somerive.'"
+
+"Yes," he replied, "I know--but 'Alixe' looks well, it's odd and
+pretty--and well, it will lend a little importance to the part!"--which
+shows how heavy were the scales upon our eyes while we were rehearsing
+the new play.
+
+Everyone sympathized with me, but said a week would soon pass, and I
+groaned and ordered heelless slippers, and flaxen hair parted simply and
+waved back from the temples to fall loosely on the shoulders, to avoid
+the height that heels and the fashionable chignon would give me, while a
+thin, white nun's veiling gown, high-necked and long-sleeved, over a
+low-cut white silk lining, buttoned at the back and finished with a pale
+blue sash and little side pocket, completed the costume, I prepared for
+the character. I was beginning to understand, as I studied her, and
+shamefacedly--to love!
+
+Oh, yes, one often feels dislike or liking for the creature one is trying
+to represent. Just at first I said to myself, here is a modern _Ophelia_,
+but I was soon convinced that the innocence of _Alixe_ was far more
+perfect than had been that of Shakespeare's weakling, who, through the
+training of court life, the warnings of a shrewd brother, and the
+admonitions of a tricky father, had learned many things--was ductile in
+stronger hands and could play a part; could lead a lover on to speech,
+without giving slightest hint of the hateful watching eyes she knew were
+upon him.
+
+Poor "Rose of May," whose sweetness comes to us across the ages! As the
+garden-spider's air-spun silken thread is cast from bough to twig across
+the path, so her fragile thread of life looped itself from father to
+lover, to brother, to queen, and all the web was threaded thick with
+maiden's tears, made opalescent by rosy love, green hope, and violet
+despair. But each one she clung to raised a hand to brush the fragile
+thing aside, and so destroyed it utterly. Yet that tangled wreck of
+beauty, sweetness, and "a young maid's wits," remains one of the world's
+dearest possessions--the fair _Ophelia_!
+
+But this modern maid was yet unspotted by the world. She found all earth
+perfect, as though God had just completed it, and loved ardently and
+without shame, as the innocent do love. For this pure flower of crime
+was ignorant, to the point of bliss, of evil in the world about her.
+While her adored mother was to her as the blessed Madonna herself.
+
+More and more convincing, as I carefully studied the part, became that
+perfect innocence. Not cold or reserved, but alive with faith, quivering,
+too, with girlish mirth, yet innocent. And as with roots deep in rankest,
+blackest ooze and mud, the lily sends up into the sunlit air its
+stainless, white-petaled blossom, to float in golden-hearted beauty upon
+the surface of the stream, so all sweet and open-hearted _Alixe_ floated
+into view.
+
+And I was expected to act a part like that! I worried day and night over
+it. Should I do this, should I do that? No--no! she was not
+coy--detestable word. I recalled the best _Ophelia_ I had ever seen--a
+German actress. Would she do for a model? Perhaps--no! she was mystic,
+strange, aloof!
+
+Oh, dear! and then, by merest accident, my mind wandered away to the
+past, and I said to myself, it should not be so hard. Every woman has
+been innocent. I was innocent enough when my first sweetheart paused at
+my side to say to me the foolish old words that never lose sweetness and
+novelty. I recalled with what open pleasure I had listened, with what
+honest satisfaction I accepted his attention. With a laugh I exclaimed:
+"I didn't even have sense enough to hide my gratification and pride, or
+to _pretend the least bit_." I stopped suddenly--light seemed to come
+into my mind. Innocence is alike the world over, I thought; it only
+differs in degree. I sprang to my feet! I cried joyously: "I have caught
+the cue, I do believe--_I won't act at all!_ I'll just speak the lines
+sincerely and simply and leave the effect to Providence."
+
+The scales loosened a trifle over Mr. Daly's eyes at the last rehearsal
+but one. He was down in the orchestra speaking to the leader when I came
+to the end of the act, and the words: "The mother whom I have insulted?
+That young girl, then, is my sister--the sister whose happiness I have
+stolen? whose future I have shattered? What--is--there--left--for--me to
+live for?"
+
+Mr. Daly glanced up, and said, sharply: "What's that? 'er, Miss Morris,
+what are you going to do there as the curtain falls? I--I haven't noticed
+that speech before. Go back a bit, Mr. Fisher, Miss Morant, back to the
+Count's entrance; let me hear that again."
+
+We went over the scene again: "H-e-m-m!" said Mr. Daly; "you've not
+answered my question, Miss Morris. What do you do at the fall of the
+curtain?"
+
+"Nothing, sir," I answered, "just stare dazedly at space, I
+think--swaying a little perhaps."
+
+"I want you to fall!" he declared.
+
+"Oh!" I exclaimed, "please, don't you think that would be rather
+melodramatic? If she could stand while receiving that awful shock about
+her mother's shame she would hardly fall afterward, from mere horror of
+her own thoughts?"
+
+"I know all that, but let me tell you there's always great effect in a
+falling body. At any rate you can sink into a chair--and so get the
+suggestion of collapse."
+
+"There is no chair," I answered, cheerfully.
+
+"Well," he replied, testily, "there can be one, I suppose. Here, boy,
+bring a large chair and place it behind Miss Morris."
+
+"Mr. Daly," I argued, "if I fall heavily, as I must, for effect, the
+chair will jump, and that will be funny--see."
+
+I fell--it did start backward, but Mr. Daly was equal to the emergency.
+"Take off the castors and place the chair hard against the end of the
+piano; now try!"
+
+I did; the chair was firm as a rock. It was settled; I did as I was told,
+and fell at the end of the act ever after. And Mr. Daly came and patted
+me on the back, and said, kindly: "Don't fret; I honestly believe there's
+something in the little part after all. That speech made me feel creepy."
+
+But the scales on my own eyes were still firm and tight, and all I could
+see in the play was the strength, power, and passion of the scenes
+between the _Count_ and _Countess_, and the probable hit of Mr. Louis
+James in his part of the _Duc de Mirandol_. The fate of this play rested
+in other hands than mine, thank goodness, and I rejoiced in the freedom
+from responsibility my small part gave me, and planned what I would do
+when Miss Jewett took _Alixe_.
+
+The great night came. Another small auditorium awaited the coming of our
+patrons. There was a smell of scarce dried paint in front of the curtain
+and of scrubbing-soap behind it; but all was bright and fresh, and the
+house was soon packed with a brilliant audience. As the play to be
+produced had but a small cast, and as Mr. Daly was anxious that the
+entire company should share in this house-warming, he had invited Mr.
+John Brougham to write a sort of prologue, giving a few apt lines to
+every member of the company, and then to proceed to the play. This was
+done--but, alas! Mr. Brougham's work was utterly unworthy of him. There
+was not one flash of his wonderful wit. He confined himself to comments
+upon the fire, after this manner; I spoke, saying:
+
+"I can't remember half the things I lost, I fear----"
+
+_Mr. Lewis_ (breaking in). "One article you have not lost----"
+
+_C. M._ "What?"
+
+_Lewis._ "'L'Article 47,' my dear."
+
+Then Miss Jewett came forward to exclaim:
+
+      "My lovely 'peau de soie,'
+      The sweetest thing in silk I ever saw!"
+
+It was only spoken one night. But the audience was so heartily kind to us
+all that many of us had tears of sheer gratitude in our eyes. We were in
+evening dress and were formed in a crescent-like line from box to box, as
+the heavy red curtains parted revealing us, and Mr. Daly was very proud
+of his family of manly-looking men and gracious women, and the audience
+greeted the assembled company heartily. But that was nothing to the
+welcome given as each favorite actor or actress stepped forward to
+speak--and I was happy, happy, happy! when I found myself counted in as
+one of them, with the welcome to the beautiful Davenport, Jewett, Dietz,
+to the ever-favored Mrs. Gilbert, no longer, no heartier than my own! And
+as I bowed low and gratefully, for just one moment I could not help
+wishing that I had an important part to play, instead of the childish
+thing awaiting me.
+
+The prologue being over, Mr. Daly, with a frowning, disappointed face,
+told those of the play to make all possible haste in changing their
+dresses, that they might get to work and rub out the bad impression
+already made.
+
+Every important occasion seems to have its touch of the ridiculous, and
+so had this one. The "bustle"--the big wire affair, extending to the
+bottom of the skirt, had reached its hideous apogee of fashion at that
+time, yet what possible relation could there be between that teetering
+monstrosity and grace or sentiment or tragedy? Surely, I thought, this
+girl-pupil, brought straight from convent-school to country-home, might
+reasonably be bustleless--and I should look so much smaller--so much more
+graceful! But--Mr. Daly? Never--never! would he consent to such a breach
+of propriety! Fashion his soul loved! He pored over her plates! he bowed
+to her mandates!
+
+My courage having failed me, when I hurried to my room I put on the
+obnoxious structure; but one glimpse of that camel-like hump on the back
+of _Alixe_, and the thought of the fall in the chair made me desperate. I
+tore the mass of wire off, and decided to keep out of sight till the last
+moment, and then make a rush for the stage.
+
+"Ready, Miss Morris?"
+
+"Ready!" I answered, as the question was asked from door to door.
+
+In a few moments the call-boy came back again: "Are you ready? Everyone
+is out there but you."
+
+"Oh, yes!" I said, showing myself to him, but still not leaving the
+shelter of my room; and I heard him saying: "Yes, sir, she's all ready, I
+saw her."
+
+The curtain rose. Only a few lines were spoken before my entrance. I
+dared wait no longer--heavens! no! for there was Mr. Daly coming for me.
+I gathered up my skirts as bunchily as I could and ran out; but I could
+not deceive Mr. Daly. In an instant he missed the necessary camel's hump.
+"Good heaven and earth!" he shouted, "you've left your bustle!"
+
+I broke into a run. "Wait!" he cried, loudly. He dashed into my open
+room, caught the big bustle up, and dragging it like a great cage behind
+him, came plunging down the entrance to me, crying: "Wait--wait!" and
+waving the other hand commandingly above his head.
+
+I heard my music; I sprang to the platform I had to enter from. "That's
+me!" I cried. "Wait!" he ordered and reached out to catch me. I evaded
+his grasp and skipped through the door, leaving but a fold of my skirt in
+his hand. I was on the stage--and joy, oh, joy! I was without a bustle!
+
+Mr. Daly did not like being laughed at, but when he glanced down and saw
+the thing he was dragging behind him, after the manner of a baby's tin
+wagon, he had to laugh, and verily there were others who laughed with
+him, while the scandalized dresser carried the rejected article back to a
+decent seclusion.
+
+There is no manager, star, or agent alive whose experience will enable
+him to foresee the fate of an untried play. A very curious thing is that
+what is called an "actor's" play--one, that is, that actors praise and
+enjoy in the rehearsing, is almost always a failure, while the managerial
+judgment has been reversed so often by the public, that even the most
+enthusiastic producer of new plays is apt "to hedge" a bit, with: "Unless
+I deceive myself, this will prove to be the greatest play," etc.; while
+the mistakes made by actors and managers both anent the value of certain
+parts are illustrated sufficiently by E. H. Sothern, C. W. Couldock,
+Joseph Jefferson--all three of whom made immense hits in parts they had
+absolutely refused to accept, yielding only from necessity or
+obligingness, and to their own astonishment finding fame in presenting
+the unwelcome characters. And to the misjudged _Lord Dundreary_, _Asa
+Trenchard_, etc., that night was added the name of _Alixe_.
+
+Refined, intensely modern, the play was nevertheless a dread tragedy, and
+being French it almost naturally dealt with the breaking of a certain
+great commandment. And now--see: we actors thought that the stress and
+power of the play would be shown in the confession of the wife and in the
+scene of wild recrimination between her and the _Comte de Somerive_, when
+they met after eighteen years of separation. But see, how different was
+the view the public took. In the very first place then, when I escaped
+the bustle, and entered, straight, and slim, art had so reduced my usual
+height and changed my coloring, that until I spoke I was not recognized.
+The kindly welcome then given me calmed my fears, and I said to myself:
+"I can't be looking ridiculous in the part, or they would not do that!"
+And women, at least, can understand how my very soul was comforted by the
+knowledge. And just then a curious sense of joy seemed to bubble up in my
+heart. The sudden relief, the feeling of irresponsibility, the
+first-night excitement. Perhaps one, perhaps all together caused it. I
+don't know--I only know that meaning no disrespect, no irreverence, I
+could have sung aloud from the Benedicite: "_Omnia opera Domini!_" "Bless
+ye the Lord: praise him and magnify him forever!"
+
+And the audience accepted the joyous little maid almost from the first
+girlish, love-betraying words she spoke, and yet--so sensitive is an
+audience at times--while still laughing over her sweet ignorance, they
+thrilled with a nameless dread of coming evil. They seemed to see the
+blue sky darkening, the threatening clouds piling up silently behind the
+white-robed child, whose perfect innocence left her so alone! Before the
+first act ended we discovered that the tragedy was shifting from the
+sinful mother and was settling down with crushing weight upon the
+shoulders of the stainless child. Indeed, the whole play was like a
+dramatization of the awful words: "The sins of the fathers shall be
+visited upon the children!"
+
+As the play went on and the impetuous grief of the child changed into
+proud self-restraint, while her agonizing jealousy of her adored mother
+developed, Mr. Daly, with wide, bright eyes, exclaimed: "I must have been
+blind--stone-blind! Why _Alixe_ is the bone and marrow, the heart and
+soul of this play!"
+
+Certainly the audience seemed to share his belief, for it called and
+called and called again for that misunderstood young person, in addition
+to the hearty approval bestowed upon the other more prominent characters.
+It was a very fine cast, Miss Fanny Morant making a stately and powerful
+_Comtesse de Somerive_, while Mr. Louis James gave a performance of the
+_Duc de Mirandol_ that I never saw even approached again. Every other
+actor made of him either a fool or a brute, while James made of him a
+delightful enigma--a sort of well-bred simpleton, rattle-brain, and
+braggart, who at the last moment shows himself, beneath all disguise, a
+brave and loyal gentleman.
+
+But the greatest triumph for _Alixe_ followed in that act--the last--in
+which she does not speak at all. She had been able to bear loss, sorrow,
+renunciation, but as in olden times poison-tests were kept, crystal cups
+of such rare purity they shattered under contact with an evil liquid--so
+her pure heart broke at contact with her mother's shame. Poor, loving,
+little base-born! Pathetic little marplot! Seeing herself as only a
+stumbling-block to others, she sought self-effacement beneath the gentle
+waters of the lily-pond. And early in that last act, as her drowned body,
+carried in the arms of the two men who had loved her, was laid before the
+starting eyes of the guilty mother, and the loving, forgiving, pleading
+letter of the suicide was read above her, actual sobs rose from the front
+of the house. It _was_ a heart-breaking scene.
+
+But when the curtain fell, oh! what a very whirlwind broke loose in that
+little theatre! The curtain shot up and down, up and down, and then, to
+my amazement, Mr. Daly signaled for me to go before the curtain, and I
+couldn't move. He stamped his foot and shouted: "Come over here and take
+this call!" and I called back: "I can't! I am all pinned up, so I can't
+walk!"
+
+For, that my skirts might not fall away from my ankles, when I was being
+carried across the stage, I had stood upon a chair and had my garments
+tightly wound about me and securely fastened, and unfortunately the pins
+were behind--and I all trussed up, nice and tight and helpless.
+
+Mr. Daly came tearing over to me, and down he went upon his knee to try
+to free me, but a muttered "D----n!" told me that he could not find the
+pins, and the applause, oh, the precious applause that was being wasted
+out there! Suddenly he rose--tossed that extraordinary hat of his off,
+picked me up in his arms and carried me like a big property doll to the
+curtain's side, signaled it up, and, with his arm about me, supported me
+on to the stage. Oh, but I was proud to stand there with him, for in
+those days he would not make the simplest speech; would not show himself
+even. Why, at the banquet of his own giving, he hid behind a big floral
+piece and made Mr. Oakey Hall speak for him. And yet he had been pleased
+enough with my work to bring me there himself. I saw his hand upon my
+shoulder, and suddenly I stooped my head and kissed it, in purest
+gratitude.
+
+Afterward, when I had been unpinned, as we walked through the entrance
+together, he said, with a gleeful laugh: "This is the third and greatest,
+but we share it."
+
+"The third what?" I asked.
+
+"The third surprise," he answered. "First you surprised the town in 'Man
+and Wife'; second, you surprised _me_ in 'L'Article 47'; now 'Alixe'--the
+greatest of all--surprises you as well as me!"
+
+He stopped, stepped in front of me and asked: "What do you most wish
+for?"
+
+I stared at him. He added, "About your home, say?"
+
+And swiftly I made answer: "A writing-desk; why?"
+
+He laughed a little and said: "Good-night, now. Oh, by the way, there's a
+forfeit against you for not wearing your bustle to-night."
+
+But I was not greatly alarmed or excited--not half so much as I was next
+day, about four o'clock, when some men drove up and insisted upon leaving
+in my room a handsome inlaid desk that was taller than I was. At first I
+protested, but a card, saying that it was "A souvenir of 'Alixe,' from
+your manager and friend, A. Daly," changed my bearing to one of most
+unseemly pride.
+
+In the next ten days I wrote I think to every soul I knew, and kept up my
+diary with vicious exactitude, just for the pleasure of sitting before
+the lovely desk, that to-day stands in my "den" in the attic. Its
+mirror-door, is dim and cloudy, its sky-blue velvet writing-leaf faded to
+a silvery gray, but even so it still remains "A souvenir of 'Alixe,' from
+A. Daly."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-FIRST
+
+  Trouble about Obnoxious Lines in "Madeline Morel"--Mr. Daly's
+  Manipulation of Father X: In Spite of our Anxiety the Audience accepts
+  the Situation and the Play--Mr. Daly gives me the smallest Dog in New
+  York.
+
+
+The last and fourth success that was granted to me under Mr. Daly's
+management was in "Madeline Morel." Of course I played in many plays,
+sometimes small, comparatively unimportant parts, sometimes, as in the
+two-hundred-night run of "Divorce," I played a long, hard-working part,
+that was without any marked characteristic or salient feature to make a
+hit with.
+
+But I only mention "Madeline Morel" because of a couple of small
+incidents connected with its production. First of all, let me say that I
+believe Mr. Daly, who was an ardent Catholic, was not the first manager
+to give benefits to the Orphan Asylums, for I think that had long been a
+custom, but he was the first to arrange those monster programmes, which
+included the names of every great attraction in the city--bar none. The
+result was not merely an Academy of Music literally packed, but crowds
+turned from its doors. I remember what excitement there was over the
+gathering together in one performance of such people as Fechter, Sothern,
+Adelaide Neilson, Aimee, and Mr. and Mrs. Barney Williams. I first saw
+the beautiful Mary Anderson at one of these benefits, as well as those
+two clever English women, Rose Coghlan and Jeffreys Lewis. Later on, when
+I was under Mr. Palmer's management, I had an experience at a benefit
+that I am not likely to forget. I had consented to do the fourth act of
+"Camille" (the ball-room scene), and when I swept through the crowd of
+"guests," every word was wiped clean out of my memory, for as they faced
+me I recognized in the supposed supers and extras all the various
+stars--the leading ladies and gentlemen who had had a place on the
+lengthy programme. Working hard, giving of their best, they had all
+laughingly joined in this gracious whim of playing supernumeraries in
+Dumas's ball-scene. And I remember that Mademoiselle Aimee was
+particularly determined to be recognized as she walked and strolled up
+and down. Once I whispered imploringly to her: "Turn your back, Madame!"
+but she laboriously answered: "Non! I haiv' not of ze shame to be supe
+for you, Mademoiselle!" It was a charming compliment, but more than a bit
+overwhelming to its recipient.
+
+Well, Mr. Daly having originated, as I believe, these splendid and
+lengthy benefit performances, was, as a result, able to place a goodly
+sum of money at the service of the Asylum authorities, and naturally he
+received warm thanks from his Church.
+
+Then, when "Madeline Morel" came along, with the great cathedral scene,
+we all stood aghast at what I was called upon to say and do. Everyone was
+on the stage, and nearly everyone whispered: "Sacrilege!" I stopped
+stock-still, in sheer fright. Mr. Daly pulled nervously at the lapel of
+his coat for a moment, and then said, sharply, "Go on!" I obeyed, but
+right behind me someone said: "And he calls himself a Catholic!"
+
+It was a horrid bit, in an otherwise beautiful and impressive act. As a
+"sister" who had served the "novitiate," I had just taken the life vows
+and had been invested with the black veil. Then the wedding procession
+and the Church procession, coming from opposite sides and crossing before
+the altar, like a great "X," brought the bridegroom and the black nun
+face to face, in dreadful recognition, and in the following scene I had
+to drag from my head the veil and swathing white linen--had to tear from
+my breast the cross, and, trampling it under foot, stretch my arms to
+Heaven and, with upraised face, cry: "I call down upon my guilty soul
+the thunders of a curse, that none may hear and live!" and then fall
+headlong, as though my challenge had been accepted.
+
+Nothing was talked of day or night but that scene, and those of the
+company who were Catholics were particularly excited, and they cried:
+"Why, if we find it so repellant, what on earth will an audience think of
+it?"
+
+Some prophesied hisses, some that the people would rise and leave the
+theatre. That Mr. Daly was uneasy about its effect he did not attempt to
+hide, and one day he said to me: "I think I'll call on Father X---- (his
+confessor and friend) to-morrow evening, and get his--well--his opinion
+on this matter." But, unfortunately, rumors had already reached churchly
+ears, and the reverend gentleman came that same day to inquire of Mr.
+Daly concerning them. I say "unfortunately," because Mr. Daly was a
+masterful man and resented anything like interference. Had he been
+permitted to introduce the matter himself, no doubt a few judicious
+words from the priest would have induced him to tone down the
+objectionable speech and action: but the visit to him rubbed him the
+wrong way and aroused every particle of obstinacy in him. He described
+the play, however, assured his old friend there were no religious
+arguments, no homilies in it, but when he came to _the_ scene, the
+Father shook his head: "No--no! my son!" said he, "I do not see how that
+can be sanctioned."
+
+Mr. Daly reasoned, argued, almost pleaded; but though it evidently hurt
+the good man to refuse, since he was greatly attached to his son in the
+church, he still shook his head and at last declared it was a serious
+matter, and he would have to bring it to the Bishop's attention. But that
+was just what Mr. Daly did not want. "Can you not see, Father," he said,
+"these lines are spoken in a frenzy? They come from the lips of a woman
+mad with grief and trouble! They have not the value or the consequence of
+words spoken by a sane person!"
+
+The priest shook his head. Suddenly Mr. Daly ceased his arguments and
+persuasions. After a little silence, he said: "You cannot sanction this
+scene, then, Father?"
+
+A positive shake of the head. Mr. Daly looked pensively out of the
+window.
+
+"Too bad!" he sighed, "too bad!"
+
+The kind old man sighed too, companionably.
+
+"You see, if that scene is not done, the play cannot be done."
+
+"Dear, dear!" murmured the priest.
+
+"And if the play is not done, having nothing else at hand, I shall have
+to close the season with the old play, and naturally that will mean bad
+business."
+
+"Too bad, too bad!" muttered the voice, comfortably.
+
+"And if the season ends badly, why, of course, there can be no charity
+benefit."
+
+"What?" sharply exclaimed the erstwhile calm voice. "No benefit for our
+poor? Why--why--'er--I--dear me! and the Asylum needs help so
+badly!--'er--a 'frenzy' you said, my son? Spoken in
+madness?--'er--I--well--I will give the matter serious thought, and I'll
+acquaint you with my conclusion," and evidently much disturbed he
+retired.
+
+And when Mr. Daly told me this, he added, with a twinkle in his eye: "He
+will get the benefit, surely enough." And when he saw my bewilderment, he
+added: "Don't you see? I had my doubts about the Bishop, but dear old
+Father X---- will be so anxious about his orphans that he will make
+things right for me with him, for their sakes." A view of the matter that
+proved to be correct. Verily a clever man was our manager.
+
+Day after day we rehearsed, and day after day I hoped that the dreadful
+bit of business might be toned down. At last my nerves gave way
+completely, and after a particularly trying rehearsal I rushed to the
+managerial office, and, bursting into tears, begged hard to be excused
+from trampling the cross under foot.
+
+"Surely," I sobbed, "it's bad enough to have to tear off the
+veil--and--and--I'm afraid something will happen!"
+
+"And," said Mr. Daly, "to tell you the truth, I'm afraid, too!"
+
+He gave me a glass of water, and waiting a moment for me to conquer my
+tears, he went on: "I'm glad you have come in, I was just about sending
+for you."
+
+"Oh!" I interrupted, "you are going to cut something out?" But he
+answered, gravely: "No! I shall cut nothing out! But look here, you are a
+brave girl, and forewarned is forearmed, you know, so I am going to speak
+quite plainly. I don't know how the public may receive that bit of
+business; perhaps with dead silence; perhaps with hisses."
+
+I sprang to my feet. "Sit down!" he said, "and listen. You shall not be
+held responsible, in the slightest degree, for the scene, I promise you
+that. If anything disagreeable happens it shall be fairly stated that you
+played under protest. It is, of course, possible that the scene may go
+along all right, but I want to warn you that you may prepare yourself for
+the storm, should it come. I don't want you to be taken unawares and have
+you faint or lose your nerve. So, now whenever you go over your part and
+reach that point, say to yourself: 'Here they hiss!' Don't look so pale.
+I'm sorry you have to bear the brunt alone, but you will be brave, won't
+you?"
+
+And I rose, and after my usual habit, tried to jest, as I answered:
+"Since you alone gave me my opportunity of being _applauded_ in New York,
+I suppose it's only fair that I should accept this opportunity of being
+_hissed_."
+
+Excited and miserable I went home. Faithfully I followed Mr. Daly's
+suggestion. But no matter how often I went over the scene, whenever I
+said: "Here they hiss," my face went white, my hands turned cold as
+stone. 'Twas fortunate the first performance was near, for I could not
+have borne the strain long. As it was, I seemed to wear my nerves on the
+outside of my clothes until the dreaded night was over.
+
+The play had gone finely; most of the people were well cast. Miss Morant,
+Miss Davenport, Miss Jewett, Miss Varian especially so; while Fisher,
+Lewis, Lemoyne, Crisp, Clark, and James did their best to make a success
+and close in glory the season that had been broken in half by the burning
+of the home theatre. The end of the third act had been mine. The
+passionate speech of renunciation and farewell had won the favor of the
+house, and call after call followed. As I had played the scene alone, I
+should have been proud and happy--should have counted the calls with a
+miser's gloating satisfaction. But instead my blood was already chilling
+with dread of the coming act.
+
+"Good Lord, child!" said Mr. Daly, "your face is as long as my arm! Don't
+anticipate evil--take the good the gods send you. You are making a hit
+and you're losing all the pleasure of it. I'm ashamed of you!"
+
+But he wrung my fingers hard, even as he spoke, and I knew that his words
+were, what the boys call a "bluff."
+
+Then the curtain was rising. The cathedral scene won a round of applause,
+and kneeling at the altar, as children say, "I scringed" at the sound.
+Then after a little I was coming down the stage and the audience,
+recognizing _Madeline_ in the nun, applauded long and heartily, and I
+fairly groaned aloud. After that the act proceeded really with stately
+dignity, but to my terrified eyes it seemed indecent haste; and as I fell
+into line with the Church procession of sisters, of novices, of priests
+and acolytes, I felt myself a morsel in a kaleidoscopic picture of bright
+colors, the churchly purple and its red and white, the brilliant gowns of
+the women of fashion, the golden organ-pipes, the candles burning
+star-like upon the altar, the massed flowers, and over all, giving a
+touch of floating unreality to everything, the clouds of incense.
+
+Then suddenly, out of the bluish haze, there gleamed the white, set face,
+for love of which I was to sacrifice my very soul! The scene was on,
+swift, passionate, and furious, and almost before I could realize it, the
+dreadful words had been spoken--and with my foot upon the cross, I stood
+in a silence the like of which I had never known before! I had not
+fallen--stricken absolutely motionless with terror I stood--waiting.
+
+In that crowded building even breathing seemed suspended. There reigned a
+silence, like to death itself! It was awful! Then without changing my
+attitude by the movement of a finger, I pitched forward, falling heavily
+at the feet of the dismayed lover and the indignant priest. And suddenly,
+sharply as by a volley of musketry, the silence was broken by applause.
+Yes, actually by applause, and beneath its noise I heard a voice behind
+me gasp: "Well, I'll be blest!"
+
+When all was ended, and after the final courtesies had been extended and
+gratefully accepted, there was an outburst of excited comment, and more
+than one experienced actor declared that never again would they even try
+to anticipate the conduct of an audience. Old Mr. Fisher told Mr. Daly
+he had felt the rising hiss and he was positive it was regard for the
+woman that had restrained its expression.
+
+Mr. Daly patted the old gentleman on the shoulder and answered:
+"Perhaps--perhaps! but if for her sake the public has swallowed that
+scene one night, the public have got to go on swallowing it every
+night--and that's the important point for us."
+
+Very shamefacedly I apologized for not falling at the proper time, and as
+I hurriedly promised to do so the next night, to my surprise Mr. Daly
+stopped me with a quick: "No! no! change nothing! I was in front, and
+that pause, staring straight up into heaven, was tremendously effective.
+It was as if God offered you a moment to repent in--then struck you down!
+Change nothing, and to-morrow you shall have your heart's desire."
+
+I gazed at him in amazement. He laughed a bit maliciously and said: "Old
+heat-registers and things carry voices. I hear many things. I have heard,
+for instance, about a man named Dovey and a wonderful toy terrier that
+weighs by ounces. I wouldn't open my eyes any wider, if I were you; they
+might stay that way. Well, will you show me the way to Dovey's by eleven
+to-morrow?"
+
+"But," I faltered, "I'm afraid of the price----"
+
+"That's my affair," he answered curtly, then added, more kindly,
+"Good-night! you have behaved well, Miss Morris, and if I can give you a
+pleasure--I shall be glad."
+
+And next day I owned the tiniest dog in New York, who slept in a
+collar-box, by my pillow, that I might not hurt it in the night. Whose
+bark was like a cambric needle, and who, within five minutes after her
+arrival, challenged to deadly combat my beloved Bertie, who weighed good
+four pounds.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-SECOND
+
+  I am Engaged to Star part of the Season--Mr. Daly Breaks his
+  Contract--I Leave him and under Threat of Injunction--I meet Mr. Palmer
+  and make Contract and appear at the Union Square in the "Wicked World."
+
+
+The third season in New York was drawing to its close, and by most
+desperate struggling I had managed just to keep my head above water--that
+was all. I not only failed to get ahead by so much as a single dollar,
+but I had never had really enough of anything. We were skimped on
+clothes, skimped on food, indeed we were skimped on everything, except
+work and hope deferred. When, lo! a starring tour was proposed to me.
+After my first fright was over I saw a possibility of earning in that way
+something more than my mere board, though, truth to tell, I was not
+enraptured with the prospect of joining that ever-moving caravan of
+homeless wanderers, who barter home, happiness, and digestive apparatus
+for their percentage of the gross, and the doubtful privilege of having
+their own three-sheet posters stare them out of countenance in every town
+they visit. Yet without the brazen poster and an occasional lithograph
+hung upside down in the window of a German beer saloon, one would lack
+the proof of stardom.
+
+No, I had watched stars too long and too closely to believe theirs was a
+very joyous existence; besides, I felt I had much to learn yet, and that
+New York was the place to learn it in; so, true to my promise, off I went
+and laid the matter before Mr. Daly--and he _did_ take on, but for such
+an odd reason. For though he paid me the valued compliment of saying he
+could not afford to lose me, his greatest anger was aroused by what he
+called the "demoralization" my act would bring into his company.
+
+"You put that bee in their bonnets and its buzzing will drown all
+commands, threats, or reasons. Every mother's son and daughter of them
+will demand the right to star! Why, confound it! Jimmie Lewis, who has
+had one try at it, is twisting and writhing to get at it again--even now;
+and as for Miss Davenport, she will simply raise the dead over her effort
+to break out starring, and Ethel--oh, well, she's free now to do as she
+likes. But you star one week and you'll see how quick she will take the
+cue, while Miss--oh, it's damnable! You can't do it! it will set everyone
+on end!"
+
+"If you will give me a salary equal to that of other people, who do much
+less work than I do, I will stay with you," I said.
+
+But he wanted me to keep to the small salary and let him "make it up to
+me," meaning by that, his paying for the stage costumes and occasional
+gifts, etc. But that was not only unbusiness-like and
+unsatisfactory--though he undoubtedly would have been generous
+enough--but it was a bit humiliating, since it made me dependent on his
+whims and, worst of all, it opened the door to possible scandal, and I
+had but one tongue to deny with, while scandal had a thousand tongues to
+accuse with.
+
+It was a queer whim, but he insisted that he could not give me the really
+modest salary I would remain for, though, in his own words, I should have
+"three times its value." Finally we agreed that I should give him three
+months of the season every year as long as he might want my services, and
+the rest of the season I should be free to make as much money as I could,
+starring. He told me to go ahead and make engagements at once to produce
+"L'Article 47" or "Alixe"--I to pay him a heavy nightly royalty for each
+play, and when my engagements were completed to bring him the list, that
+he might not produce "Alixe" with his company before me in any city that
+I was to visit. I did as he had requested me. I was bound in every
+contract to be the first to present "L'Article 47" or "Alixe" in that
+city. I was then to open in Philadelphia. I had been announced as a
+coming attraction, when I received startling telegrams and threats from
+the local manager that "Mr. Daly's Fifth Avenue Company" was announced to
+appear the week before me in "Alixe," in an opposition house. Thus Mr.
+Daly had most cruelly broken faith with me. I went to him at once. I
+reproached him. I said: "These people will sue me!"
+
+"Bah!" he sneered, "they can't take what you have not got!"
+
+"But," I cried, "they will throw over my engagement!"
+
+His face lit up with undisguised pleasure. He thrust his hand into the
+open desk-drawer. "Ah," he smiled, "I have a part here that might have
+been written for you. It is great--honestly great, and with this starring
+business disposed of, we can get at it early!"
+
+I rose. I said: "Mr. Daly, you have done an unworthy thing, you have
+broken faith with me. If you produce 'Alixe' next week, I will never play
+for you again!"
+
+"You will have to!" he threatened. "I have broken the verbal part of our
+contract, but you cannot prove it, nor can you break the written part of
+the contract!"
+
+I repeated: "I shall play for you no more!"
+
+And he hotly answered: "Well, don't you try playing for anyone else. I
+give you fair warning--I'll enjoin you if you do! The law is on my side,
+remember."
+
+"My dear sir," I said, "the law was not specially created for you to have
+fun with, and it has an odd way of protecting women at times. I shall at
+all events appeal to it to-morrow morning."
+
+Next morning my salary was sent to me. I took from it what was due me for
+two nights' work I had done early in the week, and returned the rest,
+saying: "As I am not a member of the company, no salary need be sent me."
+And eleven o'clock found me in the office of ex-Judge William Fullerton.
+
+He declared that my mind showed a strong legal bent, and he congratulated
+me upon my refusal of the proffered salary. "If," said he, "you receive a
+desirable offer in the way of an engagement, take it at once and without
+fear. Mr. Daly will threaten you, of course, but I can't believe his
+lawyers will permit him to take this matter into court. In attacking you
+he will attack every young, self-supporting woman in New York, in your
+person. The New York man will sympathize with you. Public opinion is a
+great power, and no manager wishes to see it arrayed against him."
+
+And thus it happened that I was not legally quite off with the old
+manager when I was on with the new--in the person of Mr. A. M. Palmer, my
+sometime manager and still my honored friend. Our relations were always
+kindly, yet to this hour I squirm mentally when I recall our first
+meeting. I was taking some chocolate at a woman's restaurant on Broadway,
+and a common friend brought the "Union Square" manager in and introduced
+him, simply as a friend, for whatever my secret hope, there had been no
+open word spoken about business in connection with this interview. But,
+given a meeting between an idle actress and an active manager, a
+Barkis-like willingness to talk business is sure to develop.
+
+Looking up and seeing Mr. Harriott advancing toward my table with a
+strange gentleman in tow, I gave a nervous swallow and fixed my attention
+upon the latter. His rigid propriety of expression, the immaculately
+spotless and creaseless condition of his garments made me expect each
+moment to hear the church-bells clang out an invitation to morning
+service. Being presented, he greeted me with a gentle coldness of
+manner--if I may use the expression--that sent my heart down like lead.
+Now extreme nervousness on my part nearly always expresses itself in
+rapid, almost reckless speech, and directly I was off at a tangent,
+successfully sharing with them the fun of various absurdities going on
+about us; until, in an evil moment, my eye fell upon the smug face of a
+young rural beau, whose terrified delight in believing himself a very
+devil of a fellow was so ludicrously evident, that one wept for the
+presence of a Dickens to embalm him in the amber of his wit.
+
+"Oh!" I said, egged on by one of those imps who hover at the elbow of
+just such women as I am, "can't you see he is a minister's son? He has
+had more religion given to him than he can digest. He's taking a sniff of
+freedom. He has kicked over the traces and he has not quite decided yet
+whether he'll go to the demnition bow-wows entirely, or be moderately
+respectable. He's a minister's son fast enough, but he doesn't know yet
+whether he will manage a theatre in New York or run away with the
+Sunday-school funds; and that red-haired young person oppo--opposite----"
+And I trailed off stupidly, for judging by the ghastly silence that had
+fallen upon my hearers and the stricken look upon Mr. Harriott's face, I
+knew I had set my foot deep in some conversational morass. I turned a
+frightened glance upon Mr. Palmer's face, and I have always been glad
+that I was in time to catch the twinkling laughter in his cool, hazel
+eyes. Then he leaned toward me and gently remarked: "I am the son of a
+minister, Miss Morris, and the manager of a theatre, but upon my word the
+Sunday-school funds never suffered at my hands."
+
+"Oh!" I groaned. And I must have looked just as a pet dog does when it
+creeps guiltily to its mistress's foot and waits to be smacked. I
+_really_ must, because he suddenly broke into such hearty laughter. Then
+presently he made a business proposition that pleased me greatly, but I
+felt I must tell him that Mr. Daly promised to get out an injunction to
+prevent my appearance anywhere, and he would probably not care to risk
+any trouble. And then there came a little squeeze to Mr. Palmer's lips
+and a little glint in his eye, as he remarked: "You accept my offer and
+I'll know how to meet the injunction."
+
+And I can't help it--being born on St. Patrick's Day and all that--if
+people _will_ step on the tail of one's coat, why of course they must
+expect "ructions." And to tell the honest truth, Mr. Palmer's perfect
+willingness to fight that injunction filled me with unholy glee; which
+combined beautifully with gratitude for his quick forgiveness of my _faux
+pas_--and I signed a contract with Mr. Sheridan Shook and Mr. A. M.
+Palmer and was announced to appear in "The Wicked World" at the Union
+Square Theatre, and I was pursued day and night by slim young men with
+black curly hair, who tried to push folded papers into my unwilling
+hands; while life behind the scenes grew more and more strenuous, as
+scene-shifters, property-men, and head carpenters, armed with braces and
+screw-eyes, charged any unknown male creature that looked as if he could
+define the word injunction.
+
+The night came, and with it an equinoctial gale of perfect fury. Whether
+the people were blown in by the storm or fought their way in by
+intention, I can't decide. I only know they were there and in numbers
+sufficient to crowd the bright and ruddy auditorium. They were a trifle
+damp about the ankles and disordered about the hair, but their hands were
+in prime working order, their hearts were warm, their perceptions
+quick--what more could the most terrified actress pray for in an
+audience?
+
+The play was one of Gilbert's deliciously poetic satires--well cast,
+beautifully produced, after the manner of Union Square productions
+generally, and Success shook the rain off her wings and perched upon our
+banners, and we were all filled with pride and joy, in spite of the young
+men with folded white papers who swirled wildly up and down Fourth Avenue
+in the storm, and of those other young men who came early and strove
+diligently to get seats within reaching distance of the foot-lights, only
+to find that by some strange accident both those rows of chairs were
+fully occupied when the doors were first throw open. Yes, in spite of all
+those disappointed young men, we had a success, and I was not enjoined.
+Yet there were two rather long managerial faces there that night. For
+unless my out-of-town managers threw me overboard, because of the
+trouble about "Alixe," I could remain in this charming play of "The
+Wicked World" but two short weeks. And no manager can be expected to
+rejoice over the forced withdrawal of a success.
+
+And right there Mr. Palmer saw fit to do a very gracious thing. After the
+first outburst of anger and disappointment from Mr. Thomas Hall (my
+Philadelphia manager), instead of breaking his engagement with me, as he
+had every right to do, he stood by his contract to star me and at the
+same terms, if I could provide a play--any play to fill the time with. I
+had nothing of course but the Daly plays, so my thanks and utter
+abandonment of the engagement were neatly packed within the regulation
+ten telegraphic words, when Mr. Palmer offered me the use of his play,
+"The Geneva Cross," written by George Fawcett Rowe. In an instant my
+first telegram changed into a joyous acceptance. I was studying my part
+at night, my mother was ripping, picking out and pressing at skirts and
+things by day. Congratulating myself upon my good fortune in having once
+seen the play in New York, I went to Philadelphia, and after just one
+rehearsal of this strange play, I opened my starring engagement. Can I
+ever forget the thrill I felt when I received my first thousand dollars?
+I counted it by twenties, then by tens, but I got the most satisfaction
+out of counting it by fives--it seemed so much more that way. I was
+spending it with the aid of a sheet of foolscap paper and a long pencil
+until after two o'clock in the morning. My mother to this day declares
+that that was the very best black silk dress she has ever owned--that one
+out of that first thousand she means, and on the wall here beside me
+hangs a fine and rare engraving of the late Queen Victoria in her
+coronation robes that I gave myself as a memento of that first wonderful
+thousand. That, when the other managers saw that Mr. Hall kept faith with
+me, and had apparently not lost by his action, they followed suit and all
+my engagements were filled--thanks to Mr. Palmer's kindness and Mr.
+Hall's pluck as well as generosity.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-THIRD
+
+  We Give a Charity Performance of "Camille," and Are Struck with
+  Amazement at our Success--Mr. Palmer Takes the Cue and Produces
+  "Camille" for Me at the Union Square.
+
+
+Then came the great "charity benefit," and "Camille"--that "Ninon de l'
+Enclos" of the drama, who, in spite of her years, can still count lovers
+at her feet.
+
+It is amazing how much accident has to do with the career of actors.
+
+Shakespeare says:
+
+      "There's a divinity that shapes our ends,
+      Rough-hew them how we will."
+
+And heaven knows I "rough-hewed" the "Camille" proposition to the best of
+my power. I came hurrying back to New York, specially to act at the
+mighty benefit, given for the starving poor of the city. Every theatre
+was to give a performance on the same day, and a ticket purchased was
+good at any one of them. I had selected "Love's Sacrifice," an old
+legitimate play, for that occasion and Mr. Palmer had cast it, when an
+actress suddenly presented herself at his office declaring she had made
+that play _her_ property, by her own exceptional work in it in former
+years, at another theatre. Threatening hysterics often prove valuable
+weapons in a manager's office, where, strangely enough, "a scene" is
+hated above all things.
+
+I was informed of this lady's claim to a play that was anybody's
+property, and at once withdrew in the interest of peace. But what then
+was to be done for the benefit? Every play proposed had some drawback.
+Mr. Palmer suggested "Camille," and all my objections crowding to my lips
+at once, I fairly stammered and spluttered over the expression of them: I
+hated! hated! hated! the play! The people who had preceded me in it were
+too great! I should be the merest pigmy beside them. I did not think
+_Camille_ as vulgar and coarse as one great woman had made her--nor so
+chill and nun-like as another had conceived her to be. And the critics
+would fall upon me and joyously tear me limb from limb. They would justly
+cry "Presumption," and--and--I had no clothes! no, not one stitch had I
+to wear (of course you will make the usual allowance for an excited woman
+and not take that literally!) and then, oh, dear! I'm dreadfully ashamed
+of myself, but to tell the exact truth, I wept--for the first and only
+time in my life--I wept from anger!
+
+We all fumed--we, meaning Mr. Palmer, Mr. Cazauran, that ferret-faced,
+mysterious little man, whose clever brain and dramatic instincts made him
+so valuable about a theatre; and the big, silently observant Mr. Shook,
+and I. Cazauran said he knew all the business of the play and could tell
+me it, and began with certain things Miss Heron (the greatest _Camille_
+America had had) had done, and I indignantly declared I would leave a
+theatre before I would do as much. I argued it was unnecessary. _Camille_
+was not brutal--she had associated with gentlemen, members of the
+nobility, men who were acquainted with court circles. She would have
+learned refinement of manners from them. Such brutalities would have
+shocked and driven away the boyish, clean-hearted _Armand_. Her very
+disease made her exquisitely sensitive to music, to beauty, to sentiment.
+If she repelled, it was with cynicism, sarcasm, her evident knowledge of
+the world. She allured men by the very refinement of her vice. And as I
+paused to take breath, Mr. Shook's bass voice was heard for the first
+time, as he asked, conclusively: "Whom can we get for _Armand_ on such
+short notice?"
+
+I turned piteously to Mr. Palmer: "The critics"--I gasped and stopped. He
+smiled reassuringly and said: "Don't be frightened, Miss Morris, they
+will never attack a piece of work offered in charity. Just do your best
+and remember it's only for once."
+
+"Dear Lord! only for once!" and with wet cheeks I made my way home, with
+a copy of the detested play in my hand. Late that evening I was notified
+that Mr. Mayo would play _Armand_.
+
+I had not one dress suited for the part. I knew I should look like a
+school-mistress in one act and a stage _ingenue_ in another. I had a
+ball-room gown, but it was not a suitable color. I should only be correct
+when I got into my night-dress and loose wrapper in the last act. Actress
+fashion, I got my gowns together first, and then sat down with my string
+of amber beads to study--I never learn anything so quickly as when I have
+something to occupy my fingers, and my string of amber beads has assisted
+me over many and many an hour of mental labor--a pleasanter custom than
+that of walking and studying aloud, I think, and surely more agreeable to
+one's near neighbors.
+
+The rehearsing of that play was simply purgatorial. We went over two acts
+on one stage one day and over three acts on another stage the next day,
+and we shrieked our lines out against the tumult of creaking winches, of
+hammering and sawing, of running and ordering--for every stage was filled
+at the rear with rushing carpenters and painters. Yet those were the only
+rehearsals that unfortunate play received for the benefit performance,
+and, as a result, we were all abroad in the first act, in particular, and
+I remember I spent a good part of my time in trying to induce the
+handsome young English woman who did _Olympe_ to keep out of my chair and
+to go to and from the piano at the right moment.
+
+The house was packed to the danger-point, the play being given at what
+was then called "The Lyceum," which Charles Fechter had just been having
+remodeled, and the police discovering that day that the floor of the
+balcony was settling at the right, under the too great weight, very
+cleverly ordered the ushers to whisper a seeming message in the ear of a
+person here, there, and yonder, who would nod, rise, and step quietly
+out, returning a moment later to smilingly motion their party out with
+them, and thus the weight was lightened without a panic being caused,
+though it made one feel rather sick and faint afterward to note the depth
+to which the floor had sagged under the feet of that tightly packed
+audience.
+
+James Lewis used to say to me: "Clara is the biggest fraud of a
+first-nighter the profession can show. There she'll stand shivering and
+shaking, white-sick with fright, waiting for her cue, and when she gets
+it, she skips on and waltzes through her scene as if she'd been at it for
+a year at least. No wonder Mr. Daly calls her his best first-nighter."
+
+So at that first performance of "Camille," as Frank Mayo touched my icy
+hand and burning brow, and saw the trembling of my limbs, as with
+fever-dried lips I waited for the curtain's rise, he said: "God! but you
+suffer! I reckon you'll not act much to-day, little woman!" And a few
+minutes later, as I laughed and chatted gayly through the opening lines
+of the play, I distinctly heard Frank say: "Well, of all the sells! Why
+confound her, I'm twice as nervous as she is!"
+
+The first act went with a sort of dash and go that was the result of pure
+recklessness. The house was delighted. The curtain had to go up twice. We
+all looked at one another, and then laughingly laid it to the crowd. The
+second act went with such a rush and sweep of hot passion between
+_Armand_ and _Camille_ that when _De Varville's_ torn letter was cast to
+_Nanine_ as _Camille's_ answer, and the lovers leaped to each others'
+arms, the house simply roared, and as the curtain went up and down, up
+and down, Mayo gasped in amazement: "Well, I'm damned!" But I made
+answer: "No, you're not--but you _will_ be if you hammer my poor spine in
+another act as you have in this. Go easy, Frank; I can't stand it!"
+
+The third act went beautifully. Many women sobbed at times. I made my
+exit some little time before the end of the act, and of course went
+directly to my room, which was beneath the stage, and there began to
+dress for the ball-room scene, and lo! after _Armand_ had had two or
+three calls for his last speech, something set them on to call for
+_Camille_. And they kept at it, too, till at last a mermaid-like
+creature--not exactly half fish and half woman, but half ball-gown train
+and half dinky little dressing-sack--came bobbing to the curtain side,
+delighting the audience by obeying it, but knocking spots out of the
+illusion of the play.
+
+In the fourth act Mr. Mayo played base-ball with me. He batted me and
+hurled me and sometimes I had a wild fear that he would kick me. Finally,
+he struck my head so hard that a large gold hairpin was driven through my
+scalp and I found a few moments' rest in truly fainting from fatigue,
+fright, and pain.
+
+But it all went. Great heaven! how it went! For Mayo was a great actor,
+and it was but intense excitement that made him so rough with me.
+Honestly we were so taken aback behind the scenes that none of us knew
+what to make of the frantic demonstrations--whether it was just the
+result of an extreme good nature in a great crowd, or whether we were
+giving an extremely good performance.
+
+The last act I can never forget. I had cut out two or three pages from
+the dialogue in the book. I felt there was too much of it. That if
+_Camille_ did not die, her audience would, and had built up a little
+scene for myself. Never would I have dared do such a thing had it been
+for more than one performance. That scene took in the crossing of the
+room to the window, the looking-glass scene, and the return to the bed.
+
+Dear heaven! it's good to be alive sometimes! to feel your fingers upon
+human hearts, to know a little pressure hurts, that a little tighter
+pressure will set tears flowing. It was good, too, when that madly-rushed
+performance was at last over, to lie back comfortably dead, and hear the
+sweet music that is made by small gloved hands, violently spatted
+together. "Yes, it was 'werry' good."
+
+And Mr. Palmer, standing in his box, looking at the pleased, moist-eyed
+people in front, took up the cue they offered, so promptly that within
+twenty-four hours I had been engaged to play _Camille_ at the Union
+Square, as one of a cast to be ever proud of, in a handsome production
+with sufficient rehearsals and correct gowns and plenty of extra ladies
+and gentlemen to "enter all!" at the fourth act. And more still, the new
+play that was then in preparation was called in and packed away with
+mothballs to wait until the old play had had its innings.
+
+Such a cast! Just look at it!
+
+      _M. Armand Duval_       MR. CHARLES R. THORNE
+      _Comte de Varville_          MR. MCKEE RANKIN
+      _M. Duval (Pere)_           MR. JOHN PARSELLE
+      _M. Gustave_             MR. CLAUDE BURROUGHS
+      _M. Gaston_                 MR. STUART ROBSON
+      _Mademoiselle Olympe_      MISS MAUDE GRANGER
+      _Mademoiselle Nichette_     MISS KATE CLAXTON
+      _Mademoiselle Nanine_       MISS KATE HOLLAND
+      _Madame Prudence_         MISS EMILY MESTAYER
+
+If Mr. Palmer ever eats opium or hashish and has beauteous visions, I am
+sure he will see himself making out those splendid old casts again.
+
+Every theatre-goer knows it's difficult for a stout, romantic actor to
+make his love reach convincingly all the way round, and it is almost as
+difficult for an actor who has attained six feet of height to make his
+love include his entire length of anatomy. But Charles R. Thorne was the
+most satisfactory over-tall lover I ever saw. He really seemed entirely
+possessed by the passion of love. "My God Thorne" he was nicknamed
+because of his persistent use of that exclamation. Of course it did
+often occur in plays by authority of their authors, but whenever Thorne
+was nervous, confused, or "rattled," as actors term it, or uncertain of
+the next line, he would pass his hand across his brow and exclaim, in
+suppressed tones: "My God!" and delicious creepy chills would go up and
+down the feminine spine out in the auditorium--the male spine is not so
+sensitive, you know. A fine actor, hot-tempered, quick to take offence,
+equally quick to repent his too hasty words; as full of mischief as a
+monkey, he was greatly beloved by those near to him. I worked with him in
+perfect amity, albeit I do not think he ever called me anything but
+_Johnny_, the name Lou James bestowed upon me at Daly's; and his death
+found me shocked and incredulous as well as grieved. He should have
+served his admiring public many a year longer, this most admirable
+_Armand_.
+
+And Mr. Parselle, what a delight his stage presence was. He had unction,
+jollity, tenderness, dignity, but above all a most polished courtesy. It
+was worth two dollars to see John Parselle in court dress, and his
+entrance and salutation as _Duval Pere_ in the cottage scene of "Camille"
+was an unfailing gratification to me--he was a dramatic gem of great
+value.
+
+Mr. Stuart Robson, by expressing a genuine tenderness of sympathy for the
+dying woman in the last act, amazed and delighted everyone. It had not
+been suspected that a trained comedian, who hopped about and lisped and
+squeaked through the other acts, could lay aside those eccentricities and
+show real gentleness and sincerity in the last--a very memorable _Gaston_
+was Mr. Stuart Robson.
+
+But oh, how many of these names are cut in marble now! Poor Claude
+Burroughs! with his big eyes, his water curls, and his tight-waisted
+coats. We would not have poked so much fun at him, had we known how
+terrible was the fate approaching him.
+
+And little Katie Holland--she of the knee-reaching auburn locks, the
+gentlest of living creatures--God in His wisdom, which finite man may not
+understand, has taken and held safe, lo! these many years.
+
+As an ex-votary of pleasure, _Prudence_ is always more convincing if she
+can show some remnant of past beauty; so the statuesque regularity of
+feature the Mestayer family was famous for, told here, and the _Prudence_
+of Miss Emily Mestayer was as handsome and heartless a harpy as one ever
+saw.
+
+Then, too, there were the gorgeous Maude Granger, the ruddy-haired
+Claxton, and the piratically handsome Rankin; their best opportunities
+were yet to come to all three. And with that cast Mr. Palmer achieved a
+great success, with the play that, old then, shows to this day the most
+astounding vitality.
+
+The only drawback was to be found in its impropriety as an entertainment
+for the ubiquitous "young person," in the immorality of _Camille's_ life,
+which was much dwelt upon. Now--oh, the pity of it!--now _Camille_ is, by
+comparison with modern plays, absolutely staid. It is the adulteries of
+wives and husbands that the "young person" looks unwinkingly upon to-day.
+Worse still--the breaking of the Seventh Commandment no longer leads to
+tragic punishment, as of yore, but the thunders that rolled about Mount
+Sinai at the promulgation of that awful warning: "Thou shalt not commit
+adultery!" are answered now by the thunders of laughter that greet the
+taking in adultery of false wives and husbands in milliners' many-doored
+rooms, or restaurants' _cabinet particulier_. Alas, that the time should
+come that this passion for the illicit should so dominate the stage!
+
+One more delightful production at the Union Square Theatre I shared in,
+and then my regular company days were over.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER FORTY-FOURTH
+
+  "Miss Multon" Put in Rehearsal--Our Squabble over the Manner of her
+  Death--Great Success of the Play--Mr. Palmer's Pride in it--My _Au
+  Revoir_.
+
+
+The other day, in recalling to Mr. Palmer a long list of such successful
+productions of his as "Led Astray," "The Two Orphans," "Camille," "Miss
+Multon," "The Danicheffs," "The Celebrated Case," etc., he surprised me
+by emphatically declaring that the performance of "Miss Multon" came
+nearer to absolute perfection than had any other play he had ever
+produced; and to convince me of that, he simply brought forward the cast
+of the play to help prove the truth of his assertion. As we went over the
+characters one by one, I was compelled to admit that from the leading
+part to the smallest servant, I had never seen one of them quite equaled
+since. Mr. Palmer's pride in this production seemed the more odd at
+first, because of its slight demands upon the scenic-artist, the
+carpenter, and upholsterer. It needs just two interior scenes--a busy
+doctor's study in London and a morning-room in a French
+country-house--that's all. "But," he will enthusiastically cry, "think of
+that performance, recall those people," and so, presently, I will obey
+him and recall them every one.
+
+The play had twice failed in Paris, which was, to say the least,
+discouraging. When it was read to me I thought the tremendous passion of
+maternity ought to touch the public heart--others there were, who said
+no, that sexual love alone could interest the public. Mr. Palmer thought
+the French play had needed a little brightening; then, too, he declared
+the people wanted to see the actual end of the heroine (one of Mr. Daly's
+fixed beliefs, by the way), therefore he had Mr. Cazauran write two
+additional short acts--a first, to introduce some brightness in the
+children's Christmas-tree party and some amusement in the old bachelor
+doctor and his old maid sister; and a last for the death of _Miss
+Multon_.
+
+After brief reflection I concluded I would risk it, and then, just by way
+of encouragement, Mr. Cazauran, who had always been at pains to speak as
+kindly of my work as that work would allow, when he was critic on the
+different papers, declared that all my acquired skill and natural power
+of expressing emotion united would prove useless to me--that _Miss
+Multon_ was to be my Waterloo, and to all anxious or surprised "whys?"
+sapiently made answer: "No children." His argument was, that not being a
+mother in reality, I could not be one in imagination.
+
+Always lacking in self-confidence, those words made my heart sink
+physically, it seemed to me, as well as figuratively; but the ever-ready
+jest came bravely to the fore to hide my hurt from the public eye, and at
+next rehearsal I shook my head mournfully and remarked to the little man:
+"Bad--bad! Miss Cushman must be a very bad _Lady Macbeth_--I don't want
+to see her!"
+
+"What?" he exclaimed, "Cushman not play _Lady Macbeth_--for heaven's
+sake, why not?"
+
+"No murderess!" I declared, with an air of authority recognized by those
+about me as a fair copy of his own. "If Miss Cushman is not a murderess,
+pray how can she act _Lady Macbeth_--who is?" And the laugh that followed
+helped a little to scare away the bugaboo his words had raised in my
+mind.
+
+Then, ridiculous as it may seem to an outsider, the question of dress
+proved to be a snag, and there was any amount of backing and filling
+before we could get safely round it.
+
+"What are you going to wear, Miss Morris?" asked Mr. Cazauran one day
+after rehearsal--and soon we were at it, and the air was thick with
+black, brown, gray, purple, red, and blue! I starting out with a gray
+traveling-dress, for a reason, and Mr. Cazauran instantly and without
+reason condemned it. He thought a rich purple would be about the thing.
+Mr. Palmer gave a small contemptuous "Humph"! and I cried out, aghast:
+"Purple? the color of royalty, of pomp, of power? A governess in a rich
+purple? Your head would twist clear round, hind side to, with amazement,
+if you saw a woman crossing from Calais to Dover attired in a royal
+purple traveling-suit."
+
+Mr. Palmer said: "Nonsense, Cazauran; purple is not appropriate;" and
+then, "How would blue--dark blue or brown do?" he asked.
+
+"For just a traveling-dress either one would answer perfectly," I
+answered; "but think of the character I am trying to build up. Why not
+let me have all the help my gown can give me? My hair is to be
+gray--white at temples; I have to wear a dress that requires no change in
+going at once to cars and boat. Now gray or drab is a perfect
+traveling-gown, but think, too, what it can express--gray hair, white
+face, gray dress without relief of trimming, does it not suggest the
+utterly flat, hopeless monotony of the life of a governess in London? Not
+hunger, not cold, but the very dust and ashes of life? Then, when the
+woman arrives at the home of her rival and tragedy is looming big on the
+horizon, I want to wear red."
+
+"Good God!" exclaimed Cazauran; and really red was so utterly unworn at
+that time that I was forced to buy furniture covering, reps, in order to
+get the desired color, a few days later.
+
+"Yes, red," I persisted. "Not too bright, not impudent scarlet, but a
+dull, rich shade that will give out a gleam when the light strikes it;
+that will have the force of a threat--a menacing color, that white
+collar, cuffs and black lace shoulder wrap will restrict to
+governess-like primness, until, with mantle torn aside, she stands a
+pillar of fire and fury. And at the last I want a night-dress and a
+loose robe over it of a hard light blue, that will throw up the ghastly
+pallor of the face. There--that's what I want to wear, and why I want to
+wear it."
+
+Mr. Palmer decided that purple was impossible and black too conventional,
+while the proposed color-scheme of gray, red, and blue seemed reasonable
+and characteristic. And suddenly that little wretch, Cazauran, laughed as
+good-naturedly as possible and said he thought so, too, but it did no
+harm to talk things over, and so we got around that snag, only to see a
+second one looming up before us in the question of what was to kill _Miss
+Multon_.
+
+I asked it: "Of what am I to die?"
+
+"Die? how? Why, just die, that's all," replied Cazauran.
+
+"But _of_ what?" I persisted; "what kills me? _Miss Multon_ at present
+dies simply that the author may get rid of her. I don't want to be
+laughed at. We are not in the days of 'Charlotte Temple'--we suffer, but
+we live. To die of a broken heart is to be guyed, unless there is an
+aneurism. Now what can _Miss Multon_ die from? If I once know that, I'll
+find out the proper business for the scene."
+
+"Perhaps you'd have some of the men carry knives," sneered Cazauran, "and
+then she could be stabbed?"
+
+"Oh, no!" I answered; "knives are not necessary for the stabbing of a
+woman; a few sharp, envenomed words can do that nicely--but we are
+speaking of death, not wounds; from what is _Miss Multon_ to die?"
+
+Then Mr. Palmer made suggestions, and Miss Morris made suggestions, and
+Mr. Cazauran triumphantly wiped them out of existence. But at last
+Cazauran himself grudgingly remarked that consumption would do well
+enough, and Mr. Palmer and I, as with one vengeful voice, cried out,
+_Camille!_ And Cazauran said some things like "Nom de Dieu!" or "Dieu de
+Dieu!" and I said: "Chassez a droite," but the little man was vexed and
+would not laugh.
+
+Someone proposed a fever--but I raised the contagion question. Poison was
+thought of, but that would prevent the summoning of the children from
+Paris, by _Dr. Osborne_. We parted that day with the question unanswered.
+
+At next rehearsal I still wondered how I was to die, hard or easy, rigid
+or limp, slow or quick. "Oh," I exclaimed, "I must know whether I am to
+die in a second or to begin in the first act." And in my own exaggerated,
+impatient words I found my first hint--"why _not_ begin to die in the
+first act?"
+
+When we again took up the question, I asked, eagerly: "What are those two
+collapses caused by--the one at the mirror, the other at the school-table
+with the children?"
+
+"Extreme emotion," I was answered.
+
+"Then," I asked, "why not extreme emotion acting upon a weak heart?"
+
+Mr. Palmer was for the heart trouble from the first--he saw its
+possibilities, saw that it was new, comparatively speaking at least--I
+suppose nothing is really new--and decided in its favor; but for some
+reason the little man Cazauran was piqued, and the result was that he
+introduced just one single line, that could faintly indicate that _Miss
+Multon_ was a victim of heart disease--in the first act, where, after a
+violent exclamation from the lady, _Dr. Osborne_ said: "Oh, I thought it
+was your heart again," and on eight words of foundation I was expected to
+raise a superstructure of symptoms true enough to nature to be readily
+recognized as indicating heart disease; and yet oh, difficult task! that
+disease must not be allowed to obtrude itself into first place, nor must
+it be too poignantly expressed. In brief, we decided I was to show to the
+public a case of heart disease, ignored by its victim and only recognized
+among the characters about her by the doctor.
+
+And verily my work was cut out for me. Why, when I went to the Doctors
+Seguin to be coached, I could not even locate my heart correctly by half
+a foot. Both father and son did all they could to teach me the full
+horror of _angina pectoris_, which I would, of course, tone down for
+artistic reasons. And to this day tears rise in my eyes when I recall the
+needless cruelty of the younger Seguin, in running a heart patient up a
+long flight of stairs, that I might see the gasping of the gray-white
+mouth for breath, the flare and strain of her waxy nostrils. Then, in
+remorseful generosity, though heaven knows her coming was no act of mine,
+I made her a little gift, and as she was slipping the bill inside her
+well-mended glove, her eye caught the number on its corner, and, she must
+have been very poor, her tormented and tormenting heart gave a plunge and
+sent a rush of blood into her face that made her very eyeballs pinken;
+and then again the clutching fingers, the flaring nostrils, the gasping
+for air, the pleading look, the frightened eyes! Oh, it is unforgettable!
+poor soul! poor soul!
+
+Well, having my symptoms gathered together, they yet had to be sorted
+out, toned down, and adapted to this or that occasion. But at least the
+work had not been thrown away, for on the first night Dr. Fordyce
+Barker--a keen dramatic critic, by the way--occupied with a friend a
+private box. He had rescued me from the hands of the specialists in
+Paris, and I had at times been his patient. He applauded heartily after
+the first two acts, but looked rather worried. At the end of the third
+act a gentleman of his party turned and looked at him inquiringly. The
+doctor threw up his hands, while shaking his head disconsolately. The
+friend said: "Why, I'm surprised--I thought Miss Morris suffered from her
+spine?"
+
+"So she does--so she does," nodded Dr. Barker.
+
+"But," went on the friend, "this thing isn't spine--this looks like heart
+to me."
+
+"I should say so," responded the doctor. "I knew she wasn't strong--just
+a thing of nerves and will--but I never saw a sign of heart trouble
+before. But it's here now, and it's bad; for, by Jove, she can't go
+through another attack like that and finish this play. Too bad, too bad!"
+
+And his honest sympathy for my new affliction spoiled his evening right
+up to the point of discovery that it was all in the play. Then he enjoyed
+the laugh against himself almost as much as I enjoyed his recognition of
+my laboriously acquired symptoms.
+
+And now for Mr. Palmer's beloved cast.
+
+With what a mixture of pleasure and grief I recall Sara Jewett, the
+loveliest woman and the most perfect representative of a French lady of
+quality I have ever seen in the part of _Mathilde_.
+
+Mr. James O'Neil's success in _Maurice de la Tour_ was particularly
+agreeable to me, because I had earnestly called attention to him some
+time before he was finally summoned to New York. His fine work in
+Chicago, where I had first met him, had convinced me that he ought to be
+here, and that beautiful performance fully justified every claim I had
+made for him in the first place. The part is a difficult one. Some men
+rant in it, some are savagely cruel, some cold as stone. O'Neil's
+_Maurice_ bore his wound with a patient dignity that made his one
+outbreak into hot passion tremendously effective, through force of
+contrast; while his sympathetic voice gave great value to the last tender
+words of pardon.
+
+And that ancient couple--that never-to-be-forgotten pair, Mr. Stoddard
+and Mrs. Wilkins! The latter's husband, belonging to the English bar, had
+been Sergeant Wilkins, a witty, well-living, popular man, who quite
+adored his pretty young wife and lavished his entire income upon their
+ever-open house, so that his sudden taking off left her barely able to
+pay for a sea of crape--with not a pound left over for a life-preserver
+or raft of any kind. But on her return to the stage, her knowledge of
+social amenities, the dignity and aplomb acquired by the experienced
+hostess, remained with her, in a certain manner, an air of suave and
+gentle authority, that was invaluable to her in the performance of
+gentlewomen; while the good-fellowship, the downright jollity of her
+infectious laugh were the crown of her comedy work. Who can forget the
+Multon tea-table scene between Mrs. Wilkins and Mr. Stoddard. How the
+audience used to laugh and laugh when, after his accusing snort: "More
+copperas!" he sat and glared at her pretty protesting face framed in its
+soft white curls. He was so ludicrously savage I had to coin a name for
+him; and one night when the house simply would not stop laughing, I
+remarked: "Oh, doesn't he look like a perfect old Sardonyx?"
+
+"Yes-m!" quickly replied the property boy beside me; "yes-m, that's the
+very beast he reminds _me_ of!"
+
+Certainly, I never expect to find another _Dr. Osborne_ so capable of
+contradicting a savage growl with a tender caress.
+
+Mr. Parselle, as the gentle old Latin scholar, tutor, and acting
+godfather, was beyond praise. He admitted to me one night, coming out of
+a brown study, that he believed _Belin_ was a character actually beyond
+criticism, and that, next to creating it as author, he ranked the honor
+of acting it; but there spoke the old-school actor who respected his
+profession.
+
+And those children--were they not charming? That _Sister Jane_, given so
+sweetly, so sincerely by the daughter of the famous Matilda Heron, who,
+christened Helene, was known only by the pet name Bijou, in public as
+well as in private life. And the boy _Paul_, her little brother. Almost,
+I believe, Mabel Leonard was herself created expressly to play that part.
+Never did female thing wear male clothes so happily. All the impish
+perversity, all the wriggling restlessness of the small boy were to be
+found in the person of the handsome, erratic, little Mabel.
+
+Even the two maids were out of the common, one being played by a clever
+and very versatile actress, who had been a friend of my old Cleveland
+days. She came to me out of the laughing merry past, but all pale and sad
+in trailing black, for death had been robbing her most cruelly. She
+wished for a New York engagement and astonished me by declaring she would
+play anything, no matter how small, if only the part gave her a foothold
+on the New York stage.
+
+I sought Mr. Palmer and talked hard and long for my friend, but he
+laughed and answered: "An actress as clever as that will be very apt to
+slight a part of only two scenes."
+
+But I assured him to the contrary; that she would make the most of every
+line, and the part would be a stepping-stone to bigger things. He granted
+my prayer, and Louise Sylvester, by her earnestness, her breathless
+excitement in rushing to and fro, bearing messages, answering bells, and
+her excellent dancing, raised _Kitty_ to a character part, while
+_Louise_, the smallest of them all, was played with a brisk and bright
+assurance that made it hard to believe that Helen Vincent had come direct
+from her convent school to the stage-door--as she had.
+
+A great, great triumph for everyone was that first night of "Miss
+Multon," and one of the sweetest drops in my own cup was added by the
+hand of New York's honored and beloved poet, Edmund Clarence Stedman,
+for, all nested in a basket of sweet violets, came a sonnet from him to
+me, and though my unworthiness was evident enough, nevertheless I took
+keenest joy in the beauty of its every line--surely a very sweet and
+gracious token from one who was secure to one who was still struggling.
+And now, when years have passed, he has given me another beautiful memory
+to keep the first one company. I was taking my first steps in the new
+profession of letters, which seems somewhat uncertain, slow, and
+introspective, when compared with the swift, decisive, if rather
+superficial profession of acting, and Mr. Stedman, in a pause from his
+own giant labor on his great "Anthology," looked at, nay, actually
+considered, that shivering fledgling thing, my first book, and wrote a
+letter that spelled for me the word _encouragement_, and being a
+past-master in the art of subtle flattery, quoted from my own book and
+set alight a little flame of hope in my heart that is not extinguished
+yet. So gently kind remain some people who are great. Just as Tomasso
+Salvini, from the heights of his unquestioned supremacy--but stay, the
+line must be drawn somewhere. It would not be kind to go on until my
+publisher himself cried: "Halt!"
+
+So I shall stop and lock away the pen and paper--lock them hard and fast,
+because so many charming, so many famous people came within my knowledge
+in the next few years that the temptation to gossip about them is hard to
+resist. But to those patient ones, who have listened to this story of a
+little maid's clamber upward toward the air and sunshine, that God meant
+for us all, I send greeting, as, between mother and husband, with the
+inevitable small dog on my knee, I prepare to lock the desk--I pause just
+to kiss my hands to you and say _Au revoir_!
+
+
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+By A. Conan Doyle
+
+THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES
+
+A Sherlock Holmes Novel
+
+Illustrated by Sidney Paget
+
+[Illustration]
+
+_The London Chronicle_, in a review headed "THE ZENITH OF SHERLOCK
+HOLMES," says:
+
+  "We should like to pay Dr. Doyle the highest compliment at our command.
+  It is not simply that this book is superior in originality and
+  construction to the earlier adventures of the great detective. Dr.
+  Doyle has provided a criminal who, as Mr. Holmes admits, is indeed a
+  foeman worthy of his steel.[*] Hitherto he has found it comparatively
+  easy to unmask his antagonists. But in the present case he finds
+  himself checkmated again and again. There is pitted against him a skill
+  nearly equal to his own, and he wins the game almost by a hair."
+
+  [*] "I tell you, Watson, this time we have a foeman who is
+  worthy of our steel."--_Sherlock Holmes._
+
+$1.25
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+
+
+
+By George Douglas
+
+THE HOUSE WITH THE GREEN SHUTTERS
+
+The first novel of a new master. The work has gained wide-spread
+recognition on both sides of the water. Three of the most conservative
+and authoritative publications in England include it among the first
+twelve of the year. In this country _Harper's Weekly_ gives it as one of
+the two most interesting novels of the year.
+
+  _The critics differ as to with what other master George Douglas should be
+  compared_:
+
+  _The London Times_ says: "Worthy of the hand that drew 'Weir of
+  Hermiston,'" and that "Balzac and Flaubert, had they been Scotch, would
+  have written such a book."
+
+  _The Spectator_: "His masters are Zola and Balzac, but there are few
+  traces of the novice and none of the imitator."
+
+  _Vanity Fair_: "It moves to its end with all the terrible unity of an
+  AEschylean tragedy."
+
+  _Harper's Weekly_: "If Thomas Hardy had written of Scotland, instead of
+  Wessex, it would have been something like 'The House with the Green
+  Shutters'.... If any man is his (Douglas') master it is Thomas Hardy."
+
+Hardy, Stevenson, Zola, Flaubert, Balzac, and AEschylus.
+
+Eighth Edition. $1.50.
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+
+
+
+By Stewart Edward White
+
+THE BLAZED TRAIL
+
+A tale from beyond the bounds of civilization. The second in Mr. White's
+series of thoroughly American stories.
+
+The inspiriting breath of the great pine woods is in this dramatic novel
+of frontier struggle in which a green "land looker" plays a lone hand
+against a powerful and unscrupulous land company for a vast tract of
+timber land.
+
+_Third Edition._ $1.50
+
+
+
+
+_By the same author_:
+
+THE WESTERNERS
+
+Mr. White shows us the rough-and-ready life of a Western mining camp.
+
+"'THE WESTERNERS' lays strong hold on the reader. The thing is vital.
+There is a force and a sincerity distinctly Western--of the frontier;
+the grim naturalness of elemental things. Furthermore Mr. White knows
+his West, his plains, his Indians and his mining camps."
+
+--_Chicago Record-Herald._
+
+_Third Edition._ $1.50.
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+
+
+
+Two New Books
+
+
+THE MADNESS OF PHILIP
+
+_AND OTHER STORIES OF CHILDHOOD_
+
+_By Josephine Dodge Daskam_
+
+Illustrated by F. Y. Cory.
+
+It would be hard to decide which of Miss Daskam's little heroes and
+heroines is the most attractive. There is Philip who demoralized the
+kindergarten class; Edgar, the Choir Boy Uncelestial; Ardelia who didn't
+like Arcady, and the little beau who dreamed that he went to
+dancing-school and that he "was the only fellow there and all the little
+girls were Cecilia." Miss Cory has caught the spirit of the stories
+admirably in her illustrations. $1.50.
+
+
+RED SAUNDERS
+
+_HIS DOINGS WEST AND EAST_
+
+_By H. W. Phillips_
+
+Red Saunders is not the misconception of an American cowboy usually found
+in fiction. He is a "sure enough live" cow puncher, brimful of keen
+Western humor, and capable of performing mighty interesting stunts,
+whether in the East or West. $1.25.
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+
+
+
+By Anthony Hope
+
+TRISTRAM OF BLENT
+
+As sparkling as the "Dolly Dialogues."
+
+As enthralling as "The Prisoner of Zenda."
+
+"Mr. Hope's most mature and most artistic work."
+
+--_The Book Buyer._
+
+"A powerful novel by one of the great masters in literature."--_Boston
+Times._
+
+"It is a notable book."--_Philadelphia Inquirer._
+
+"It takes hold of the reader and he cannot put it down until he has read
+the last chapter."--_N. Y. Tribune._
+
+"'Tristram of Blent' is quite different from the 'Prisoner of Zenda,' but
+it is quite as interesting, while much more satisfactory and complete;
+and whereas the sword-play and the glitter of the courts is missing, its
+reality more than makes up for the omission."
+
+--_Philadelphia Telegraph._
+
+"The character studies in the book are admirable. Not only the main
+figures are treated with consummate art; there is not a person in the
+book, however unimportant to the furtherance of the main action, but
+receives the touch which gives life, which suggests a type without
+sacrificing the individual.... It stands as a revelation of the fulness
+of Mr. Hope's resources, his grasp of plot and character and
+construction.... In workmanship it ranks with his best as an exposition
+of the maturity of his art."--_N. Y. Mail and Express._
+
+_Twenty-eighth Thousand._ $1.50.
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+
+
+
+Told on the Fighting Line
+
+War Tales of Every-Day Life
+
+HELD FOR ORDERS
+
+_By Frank H. Spearman_
+
+Stories of the Never-Ending Warfare of the Railroads. William Allen White
+says of them: "The American who can read those tales and not love his
+country better for being a compatriot with real heroes, is a poor sort."
+
+_Second Edition._ $1.50.
+
+
+
+
+WALL STREET STORIES
+
+_By Edwin Lefevre_
+
+Vivid pictures of the cutthroat campaign carried on under the Standard of
+the Dollar.
+
+"Edwin Lefevre has written the one book about Wall Street which hits
+the mark."--_N. Y. Sun._
+
+"Rattling good tales."--_Life._
+
+_Third Edition._ $1.25.
+
+
+
+
+BY BREAD ALONE
+
+_By I. K. Friedman_
+
+Scenes from the great battle between capital and labor, as waged in the
+world of the mighty steel industry.
+
+"A work of genuine power and profound interest."
+
+--_Chicago Post._
+
+_Second Edition._ $1.50.
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+
+
+
+Always in Demand
+
+MONSIEUR BEAUCAIRE
+
+_By Booth Tarkington_
+
+This little masterpiece has become the standard by which other romances
+are judged.
+
+Cloth, $1.25. Full Leather, $2.00.
+
+_Seventieth Thousand._
+
+
+
+
+THE FIREBRAND
+
+_By S. R. Crockett_
+
+A stirring romance of Carlist plotting in Spain, told in the author's
+usual captivating style.
+
+_Twelfth Thousand._ $1.50.
+
+
+
+
+SONS OF THE SWORD
+
+_By Mrs. Margaret L. Woods_
+
+An historical romance. A romance of action, and glory, of brave hearts
+and fair women.
+
+_Second Edition._ $1.50.
+
+
+
+
+FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE
+
+_Alfred Dreyfus_
+
+Including The Devil's Island diary and containing maps and diagrams.
+
+_Third Edition._ $1.50.
+
+McClure, Phillips & Co.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Life on the Stage, by Clara Morris
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LIFE ON THE STAGE ***
+
+***** This file should be named 33537.txt or 33537.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/3/3/5/3/33537/
+
+Produced by Suzanne Shell and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.