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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Headswoman, by Kenneth Grahame
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Headswoman
+
+Author: Kenneth Grahame
+
+Illustrator: Marcia Lane Foster
+
+Release Date: November 8, 2010 [EBook #34243]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HEADSWOMAN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Suzanne Shell, David Wilson and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+_The Headswoman_
+
+
+
+
+_BY THE SAME AUTHOR_
+
+  THE GOLDEN AGE
+  DREAM DAYS
+  PAGAN PAPERS
+
+THE BODLEY HEAD
+
+
+
+
+    [Frontispiece: "Now that we have been properly introduced allow
+     me to apologise"]
+
+
+
+
+THE HEADSWOMAN
+
+_By_ Kenneth Grahame
+
+
+_With Illustrations in Colour and Woodcuts by_
+
+Marcia Lane Foster
+
+
+[Decoration]
+
+
+  _LONDON_
+  _John Lane The Bodley Head Limited_
+  _New York        John Lane Company_
+
+
+
+
+  _First Published 1898_
+  _Illustrated Edition 1921_
+
+
+
+
+_Printed In Great Britain by R. Clay & Sons, Ltd., Bungay, Suffolk._
+
+
+
+
+_List of Illustrations_
+
+
+  "Now That we have been properly introduced
+      allow me to apologise"                  _Frontispiece_
+
+                                               _Facing page_
+  "You see I am Familiar with the Routine....
+      Good-morning, Gentlemen!"                          8
+
+  "Au revoir, Sir! If you should happen to be in
+      the Market-place any Morning"                     28
+
+  Endeavouring to convey the Tardy Prisoner to the
+      Scaffold                                          32
+
+  "Nay, pardon me, Sweet One, 'twas but a Jest
+      of Mine"                                          36
+
+  But at this point a Hubbub arose at the Foot of
+      the Scaffold                                      42
+
+  "Now, mark my Words, you Miserable Little
+      Bladder-o'-Lard, see if I don't take this
+      out of your Skin presently"                       44
+
+  An Invitation arrived, backed by an Escort of
+      Half-a-dozen very Tall Archers                    46
+
+
+
+
+_The Headswoman_
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+I
+
+
+It was a bland, sunny morning of a mediaeval May,--an old-style May of
+the most typical quality; and the Council of the little town of St.
+Radegonde were assembled, as was their wont at that hour, in the
+picturesque upper chamber of the Hotel de Ville, for the dispatch of the
+usual municipal business. Though the date was early sixteenth century,
+the members of this particular town-council possessed considerable
+resemblance to those of similar assemblies in the seventeenth,
+eighteenth, and even the nineteenth centuries, in a general absence of
+any characteristic at all--unless a pervading hopeless insignificance
+can be considered as such. All the character in the room, indeed, seemed
+to be concentrated in the girl who stood before the table, erect, yet at
+her ease, facing the members in general and Mr. Mayor in particular; a
+delicate-handed, handsome girl of some eighteen summers, whose tall,
+supple figure was well set off by the quiet, though tasteful mourning in
+which she was clad.
+
+"Well, gentlemen," the Mayor was saying, "this little business appears
+to be--er--quite in order, and it only remains for me to--er--review the
+facts. You are aware that the town has lately had the misfortune to
+lose its executioner,--a gentleman who, I may say, performed the duties
+of his office with neatness and dispatch, and gave the fullest
+satisfaction to all with whom he--er--came in contact. But the Council
+has already, in a vote of condolence, expressed its sense of
+the--er--striking qualities of the deceased. You are doubtless also
+aware that the office is hereditary, being secured to a particular
+family in this town, so long as any one of its members is ready and
+willing to take it up. The deed lies before me, and appears to
+be--er--quite in order. It is true that on this occasion the Council
+might have been called upon to consider and examine the title of the
+claimant, the late lamented official having only left a daughter,--she
+who now stands before you; but I am happy to say that Jeanne--the young
+lady in question--with what I am bound to call great good-feeling on
+her part, has saved us all trouble in that respect, by formally applying
+for the family post, with all its--er--duties, privileges, and
+emoluments; and her application appears to be--er--quite in order. There
+is, therefore, under the circumstances, nothing left for us to do but to
+declare the said applicant duly elected. I would wish, however, before
+I--er--sit down, to make it quite clear to the--er--fair petitioner,
+that if a laudable desire to save the Council trouble in the matter has
+led her to a--er--hasty conclusion, it is quite open to her to
+reconsider her position. Should she determine not to press her claim,
+the succession to the post would then apparently devolve upon her cousin
+Enguerrand, well known to you all as a practising advocate in the courts
+of this town. Though the youth has not, I admit, up to now proved a
+conspicuous success in the profession he has chosen, still there is no
+reason why a bad lawyer should not make an excellent executioner; and in
+view of the close friendship--may I even say attachment?--existing
+between the cousins, it is possible that this young lady may, in due
+course, practically enjoy the solid emoluments of the position without
+the necessity of discharging its (to some girls) uncongenial duties. And
+so, though not the rose herself, she would still be--er--near the rose!"
+And the Mayor resumed his seat, chuckling over his little pleasantry,
+which the keener wits of the Council proceeded to explain at length to
+the more obtuse.
+
+"Permit me, Mr. Mayor," said the girl quietly, "first to thank you for
+what was evidently the outcome of a kindly though misdirected feeling on
+your part; and then to set you right as to the grounds of my application
+for the post to which you admit my hereditary claim. As to my cousin,
+your conjecture as to the feeling between us is greatly exaggerated; and
+I may further say at once, from my knowledge of his character, that he
+is little qualified either to adorn or to dignify an important position
+such as this. A man who has achieved such indifferent success in a minor
+and less exacting walk of life, is hardly likely to shine in an
+occupation demanding punctuality, concentration, judgment,--all the
+qualities, in fine, that go to make a good business man. But this is
+beside the question. My motive, gentlemen, in demanding what is my due,
+is a simple and (I trust) an honest one, and I desire that there should
+be no misunderstanding. It is my wish to be dependent on no one. I am
+both willing and able to work, and I only ask for what is the common
+right of humanity,--admission to the labour market. How many poor,
+toiling women would simply jump at a chance like this which fortune, by
+the accident of birth, lays open to me! And shall I, from any false
+deference to that conventional voice which proclaims this thing as
+'nice,' and that thing as 'not nice,' reject a handicraft which promises
+me both artistic satisfaction and a competence? No, gentlemen; my claim
+is a small one,--only a fair day's wage for a fair day's work. But I can
+accept nothing less, nor consent to forgo my rights, even for any
+contingent remainder of possible cousinly favour!"
+
+There was a touch of scorn in her fine contralto voice as she finished
+speaking; the Mayor himself beamed approval. He was not wealthy, and had
+a large family of daughters; so Jeanne's sentiments seemed to him
+entirely right and laudable.
+
+"Well, gentlemen," he began briskly, "then all we've got to do, is
+to----"
+
+"Beg pardon, your worship," put in Master Robinet, the tanner, who had
+been sitting with a petrified, Bill-the-Lizard sort of expression during
+the speechifying: "but are we to understand as how this here young lady
+is going to be the public executioner of this here town?"
+
+"Really, neighbour Robinet," said the Mayor, somewhat pettishly, "you've
+got ears like the rest of us, I suppose; and you know the contents of
+the deed; and you've had my assurance that it's--er--quite in order; and
+as it's getting towards lunch-time----"
+
+"But it's unheard of," protested honest Robinet. "There hasn't ever been
+no such thing--leastways not as I've heard tell."
+
+    [Illustration: "You see I am familiar with the routine....
+     Good-morning, Gentlemen!"]
+
+"Well, well, well," said the Mayor, "everything must have a beginning, I
+suppose. Times are different now, you know. There's the march of
+intellect, and--er--all that sort of thing. We must advance with the
+times--don't you see, Robinet?--advance with the times!"
+
+"Well, I'm----" began the tanner.
+
+But no one heard, on this occasion, the tanner's opinion as to his
+condition, physical or spiritual; for the clear contralto cut short his
+obtestations.
+
+"If there's really nothing more to be said, Mr. Mayor," she remarked, "I
+need not trespass longer on your valuable time. I propose to take up the
+duties of my office to-morrow morning, at the usual hour. The salary
+will, I assume, be reckoned from the same date; and I shall make the
+customary quarterly application for such additional emoluments as may
+have accrued to me during that period. You see I am familiar with the
+routine. Good-morning, gentlemen!" And as she passed from the Council
+chamber, her small head held erect, even the tanner felt that she took
+with her a large portion of the May sunshine which was condescending
+that morning to gild their deliberations.
+
+
+
+
+II
+
+
+One evening, a few weeks later, Jeanne was taking a stroll on the
+ramparts of the town, a favourite and customary walk of hers when
+business cares were over. The pleasant expanse of country that lay
+spread beneath her--the rich sunset, the gleaming, sinuous river, and
+the noble old chateau that dominated both town and pasture from its
+adjacent height--all served to stir and bring out in her those poetic
+impulses which had lain dormant during the working day; while the cool
+evening breeze smoothed out and obliterated any little jars or worries
+which might have ensued during the practice of a profession in which she
+was still something of a novice. This evening she felt fairly happy and
+content. True, business was rather brisk, and her days had been fully
+occupied; but this mattered little so long as her modest efforts were
+appreciated, and she was now really beginning to feel that, with
+practice, her work was creditably and artistically done. In a satisfied,
+somewhat dreamy mood, she was drinking in the various sweet influences
+of the evening, when she perceived her cousin approaching.
+
+"Good-evening, Enguerrand," cried Jeanne pleasantly; she was thinking
+that since she had begun to work for her living she had hardly seen
+him--and they used to be such good friends. Could anything have occurred
+to offend him?
+
+Enguerrand drew near somewhat moodily, but could not help allowing his
+expression to relax at sight of her fair young face, set in its
+framework of rich brown hair, wherein the sunset seemed to have tangled
+itself and to cling, reluctant to leave it.
+
+"Sit down, Enguerrand," continued Jeanne, "and tell me what you've been
+doing this long time. Been very busy, and winning forensic fame and
+gold?"
+
+"Well, not exactly," said Enguerrand, moody once more. "The fact is,
+there's so much interest required nowadays at the courts that unassisted
+talent never gets a chance. And you, Jeanne?"
+
+"Oh, I don't complain," answered Jeanne lightly. "Of course, it's
+fair-time just now, you know, and we're always busy then. But work will
+be lighter soon, and then I'll get a day off, and we'll have a
+delightful ramble and picnic in the woods, as we used to do when we were
+children. What fun we had in those old days, Enguerrand! Do you
+remember when we were quite little tots, and used to play at executions
+in the back-garden, and you were a bandit and a buccaneer, and all sorts
+of dreadful things, and I used to chop off your head with a paper-knife?
+How pleased dear father used to be!"
+
+"Jeanne," said Enguerrand, with some hesitation, "you've touched upon
+the very subject that I came to speak to you about. Do you know, dear, I
+can't help feeling--it may be unreasonable, but still the feeling is
+there--that the profession you have adopted is not quite--is just a
+little----"
+
+"Now, Enguerrand!" said Jeanne, an angry flash sparkling in her eyes.
+She was a little touchy on this subject, the word she most affected to
+despise being also the one she most dreaded,--the adjective
+"unladylike."
+
+"Don't misunderstand me, Jeanne," went on Enguerrand imploringly: "you
+may naturally think that, because I should have succeeded to the post,
+with its income and perquisites, had you relinquished your claim, there
+is therefore some personal feeling in my remonstrances. Believe me, it
+is not so. My own interests do not weigh with me for a moment. It is on
+your account, Jeanne, and yours alone, that I ask you to consider
+whether the higher aesthetic qualities, which I know you possess, may not
+become cramped and thwarted by 'the trivial round, the common task,'
+which you have lightly undertaken. However laudable a professional life
+may be, one always feels that with a delicate organism such as woman,
+some of the bloom may possibly get rubbed off the peach."
+
+"Well, Enguerrand," said Jeanne, composing herself with an effort,
+though her lips were set hard, "I will do you the justice to believe
+that personal advantage does not influence you, and I will try to reason
+calmly with you, and convince you that you are simply hide-bound by
+old-world prejudice. Now, take yourself, for instance, who come here to
+instruct me: what does _your_ profession amount to, when all's said and
+done? A mass of lies, quibbles, dodges, and tricks, that would make any
+self-respecting executioner blush! And even with the dirty weapons at
+your command, you make but a poor show of it. There was that wretched
+fellow you defended only two days ago. (I was in court during the
+trial--professional interest, you know.) Well, he had his regular
+_alibi_ all ready, as clear as clear could be; only you must needs go
+and mess and bungle the thing up, so that, just as I expected all
+along, he was passed on to me for treatment in due course. You may like
+to have his opinion--that of a shrewd, though unlettered person. 'It's a
+real pleasure, miss,' he said, 'to be handled by you. You _knows_ your
+work, and you _does_ your work--though p'raps I ses it as shouldn't. If
+that blooming fool of a mouthpiece of mine'--he was referring to you,
+dear, in your capacity of advocate--'had known his business half as well
+as you do yours, I shouldn't a bin here now!' And you know, Enguerrand,
+he was perfectly right."
+
+"Well, perhaps he was," admitted Enguerrand. "You see, I had been
+working at a sonnet the night before, and I couldn't get the rhymes
+right, and they would keep coming into my head in court and mixing
+themselves up with the _alibi_. But look here, Jeanne, when you saw I
+was going off the track, you might have given me a friendly hint, you
+know--for old times' sake, if not for the prisoner's!"
+
+"I daresay," replied Jeanne calmly: "perhaps you'll tell me why I should
+sacrifice my interests because you're unable to look after yours. You
+forget that I receive a bonus, over and above my salary, upon each
+exercise of my functions!"
+
+"True," said Enguerrand gloomily: "I did forget that. I wish I had your
+business aptitudes, Jeanne."
+
+"I daresay you do," remarked Jeanne. "But you see, dear, how all your
+arguments fall to the ground. You mistake a prepossession for a logical
+base. Now if I had gone, like that Clairette you used to dangle after,
+and been waiting-woman to some grand lady in a chateau,--a thin-blooded
+compound of drudge and sycophant,--then, I suppose, you'd have been
+perfectly satisfied. So feminine! So genteel!"
+
+"She's not a bad sort of girl, little Claire," said Enguerrand
+reflectively (thereby angering Jeanne afresh): "but putting her
+aside,--of course you could always beat me at argument, Jeanne; you'd
+have made a much better lawyer than I. But you know, dear, how much I
+care about you; and I did hope that on that account even a prejudice,
+however unreasonable, might have some little weight. And I'm not alone,
+let me tell you, in my views. There was a fellow in court only to-day,
+who was saying that yours was only a _succes d'estime_, and that woman,
+as a naturally talkative and hopelessly unpunctual animal, could never
+be more than a clever amateur in the profession you have chosen."
+
+"That will do, Enguerrand," said Jeanne proudly; "it seems that when
+argument fails, you can stoop so low as to insult me through my sex.
+You men are all alike,--steeped in brutish masculine prejudice. Now go
+away, and don't mention the subject to me again till you're quite
+reasonable and nice."
+
+
+
+
+III
+
+Jeanne passed a somewhat restless night after her small scene with her
+cousin, waking depressed and unrefreshed. Though she had carried matters
+with so high a hand, and had scored so distinctly all around, she had
+been more agitated than she had cared to show. She liked Enguerrand; and
+more especially did she like his admiration for her; and that chance
+allusion to Clairette contained possibilities that were alarming. In
+embracing a professional career, she had never thought for a moment
+that it could militate against that due share of admiration to which, as
+a girl, she was justly entitled; and Enguerrand's views seemed this
+morning all the more narrow and inexcusable. She rose languidly, and as
+soon as she was dressed sent off a little note to the Mayor, saying that
+she had a nervous headache and felt out of sorts, and begging to be
+excused from attendance on that day; and the missive reached the Mayor
+just as he was taking his usual place at the head of the Board.
+
+"Dear, dear!" said the kind-hearted old man, as soon as he had read the
+letter to his fellow-councilmen: "I'm very sorry. Poor girl! Here, one
+of you fellows, just run round and tell the gaoler there won't be any
+business to-day. Jeanne's seedy. It's put off till to-morrow. And now,
+gentlemen, the agenda----"
+
+"Really, your worship," exploded Robinet, "this is simply ridiculous!"
+
+"Upon my word, Robinet," said the Mayor, "I don't know what's the matter
+with you. Here's a poor girl unwell,--and a more hard-working girl isn't
+in the town,--and instead of sympathising with her, and saying you're
+sorry, you call it ridiculous! Suppose you had a headache yourself! You
+wouldn't like----"
+
+"But it _is_ ridiculous," maintained the tanner stoutly. "Who ever heard
+of an executioner having a nervous headache? There's no precedent for
+it. And 'out of sorts,' too! Suppose the criminals said they were out of
+sorts, and didn't feel up to being executed?"
+
+"Well, suppose they did," replied the Mayor, "we'd try and meet them
+half-way, I daresay. They'd have to be executed some time or other, you
+know. Why on earth are you so captious about trifles? The prisoners
+won't mind, and _I_ don't mind: nobody's inconvenienced, and everybody's
+happy!"
+
+"You're right there, Mr. Mayor," put in another councilman. "This
+executing business used to give the town a lot of trouble and bother;
+now it's all as easy as kiss-your-hand. Instead of objecting, as they
+used to do, and wanting to argue the point and kick up a row, the
+fellows as is told off for execution come skipping along in the morning,
+like a lot of lambs in May-time. And then the fun there is on the
+scaffold! The jokes, the back answers, the repartees! And never a word
+to shock a baby! Why, my little girl, as goes through the market-place
+every morning--on her way to school, you know--she says to me only
+yesterday, she says, 'Why, father,' she says, 'it's as good as the
+play-actors,' she says."
+
+"There again," persisted Robinet; "I object to that too. They ought to
+show a properer feeling. Playing at mummers is one thing, and being
+executed is another, and people ought to keep 'em separate. In my
+father's time, that sort of thing wasn't thought good taste, and I don't
+hold with new-fangled notions."
+
+"Well, really, neighbour," said the Mayor, "I think you're out of sorts
+yourself to-day. You must have got out of bed the wrong side this
+morning. As for a little joke, more or less, we all know a maiden loves
+a merry jest when she's certain of having the last word! But I'll tell
+you what I'll do, if it'll please you; I'll go round and see Jeanne
+myself on my way home, and tell her--quite nicely, you know--that once
+in a way doesn't matter; but that if she feels her health won't let her
+keep regular business hours, she mustn't think of going on with anything
+that's bad for her. Like that, don't you see? And now, gentlemen, let's
+read the minutes!"
+
+Thus it came about that Jeanne took her usual walk that evening with a
+ruffled brow and a swelling heart; and her little hand opened and shut
+angrily as she paced the ramparts. She couldn't stand being found fault
+with. How could she help having a headache? Those clods of citizens
+didn't know what a highly strung sensitive organisation was. Absorbed in
+her reflections, she had taken several turns up and down the grassy
+footway before she became aware that she was not alone. A youth, of
+richer dress and more elegant bearing than the general run of the
+Radegundians, was leaning in an embrasure, watching the graceful figure
+with evident interest.
+
+"Something has vexed you, fair maiden?" he observed, coming forward
+deferentially as soon as he perceived he was noticed; "and care sits but
+awkwardly on that smooth young brow."
+
+"Nay, it is nothing, kind sir," replied Jeanne; "we girls who work for
+our living must not be too sensitive. My employers have been somewhat
+exigent, that is all. I did wrong to take it to heart."
+
+"'Tis the way of the bloated capitalist," rejoined the young man
+lightly, as he turned to walk by her side. "They grind us, they grind
+us; perhaps some day they will come under your hands in turn, and then
+you can pay them out. And so you toil and spin, fair lily! And yet,
+methinks, those delicate hands show little trace of labour?"
+
+"You wrong me, indeed, sir," replied Jeanne merrily. "These hands of
+mine, that you are so good as to admire, do great execution!"
+
+"I can well believe that your victims are numerous," he replied; "may I
+be permitted to rank myself among the latest of them?"
+
+"I wish you a better fortune, kind sir," answered Jeanne demurely.
+
+"I can imagine no more delightful one," he replied; "and where do you
+ply your daily task, fair mistress? Not entirely out of sight and
+access, I trust?"
+
+    [Illustration: "Au revoir, sir! If you should happen to be in
+     the market-place any morning."]
+
+"Nay, sir," laughed Jeanne, "I work in the market-place most mornings,
+and there is no charge for admission; and access is far from difficult.
+Indeed, some complain--but that is no business of mine. And now I must
+be wishing you a good-evening. Nay,"--for he would have detained
+her,--"it is not seemly for an unprotected maiden to tarry in
+converse with a stranger at this hour. _Au revoir_, sir! If you should
+happen to be in the market-place any morning----" And she tripped
+lightly away. The youth, gazing after her retreating figure, confessed
+himself strangely fascinated by this fair unknown, whose particular
+employment, by the way, he had forgotten to ask; while Jeanne, as she
+sped homewards, could not help reflecting that, for style and
+distinction, this new acquaintance threw into the shade all the
+Enguerrands and others she had met hitherto--even in the course of
+business.
+
+
+
+
+IV
+
+
+The next morning was bright and breezy, and Jeanne was early at her
+post, feeling quite a different girl. The busy little market-place was
+full of colour and movement, and the gay patches of flowers and fruit,
+the strings of fluttering kerchiefs, and the piles of red and yellow
+pottery, formed an artistic setting to the quiet impressive scaffold
+which they framed. Jeanne was in short sleeves, according to the
+etiquette of her office, and her round graceful arms showed snowily
+against her dark blue skirt and scarlet, tight-fitting bodice. Her
+assistant looked at her with admiration.
+
+"Hope you're better, miss," he said respectfully. "It was just as well
+you didn't put yourself out to come yesterday; there was nothing
+particular to do. Only one fellow, and _he_ said he didn't care;
+anything to oblige a lady!"
+
+"Well, I wish he'd hurry up now, to oblige a lady," said Jeanne,
+swinging her axe carelessly to and fro: "ten minutes past the hour; I
+shall have to talk to the Mayor about this."
+
+"It's a pity there ain't a better show this morning," pursued the
+assistant, as he leant over the rail of the scaffold and spat
+meditatively into the busy throng below. "They do say as how the young
+Seigneur arrived at the Chateau yesterday--him as has been finishing his
+education in Paris, you know. He's as likely as not to be in the
+market-place to-day; and if he's disappointed, he may go off to Paris
+again, which would be a pity, seeing the Chateau's been empty so long.
+But he may go to Paris, or anywhere else he's a mind to, he won't see
+better workmanship than in this here little town!"
+
+"Well, my good Raoul," said Jeanne, colouring slightly at the obvious
+compliment, "quality, not quantity, is what we aim at here, you know. If
+a Paris education has been properly assimilated by the Seigneur, he will
+not fail to make all the necessary allowances. But see, the prison-doors
+are opening at last!"
+
+    [Illustration: Endeavouring to convey the tardy prisoner to the
+     scaffold.]
+
+They both looked across the little square to the prison, which fronted
+the scaffold; and sure enough, a small body of men, the Sheriff at their
+head, was issuing from the building, conveying, or endeavouring to
+convey, the tardy prisoner to the scaffold. That gentleman, however,
+seemed to be in a different and less obliging frame of mind from that of
+the previous day; and at every pace one or other of the guards was shot
+violently into the middle of the square, propelled by a vigorous kick or
+blow from the struggling captive. The crowd, unaccustomed of late to
+such demonstrations of feeling, and resenting the prisoner's want of
+taste, hooted loudly; but it was not until that ingenious mediaeval
+arrangement known as _la marche aux crapauds_ had been brought to bear
+on him that the reluctant convict could be prevailed upon to present
+himself before the young lady he had already so unwarrantably detained.
+
+Jeanne's profession had both accustomed her to surprises and taught her
+the futility of considering her clients as drawn from any one particular
+class; yet she could hardly help feeling some astonishment on
+recognising her new acquaintance of the previous evening. That, with all
+his evident amiability of character, he should come to this end, was not
+in itself a special subject for wonder; but that he should have been
+conversing with her on the ramparts at the hour when--after courteously
+excusing her attendance on the scaffold--he was cooling his heels in
+prison for another day, seemed hardly to be accounted for, at first
+sight. Jeanne, however, reflected that the reconciling of apparent
+contradictions was not included in her official duties.
+
+The Sheriff, wiping his heated brow, now read the formal _proces_
+delivering over the prisoner to the executioner's hands; "and a nice job
+we've had to get him here," he added on his own account. And the young
+man, who had remained perfectly tractable since his arrival, stepped
+forward and bowed politely.
+
+"Now that we have been properly introduced," said he courteously, "allow
+me to apologise for any inconvenience you have been put to by my delay.
+The fault was entirely mine, and these gentlemen are in no way to blame.
+Had I known whom I was to have the pleasure of meeting, wings could not
+have conveyed me swiftly enough."
+
+"Do not mention, I pray, the word inconvenience," replied Jeanne, with
+that timid grace which so well became her. "I only trust that any slight
+discomfort it may be my duty to cause you before we part will be as
+easily pardoned. And now--for the morning, alas! advances--any little
+advice or assistance that I can offer is quite at your service; for the
+situation is possibly new, and you may have had but little experience."
+
+"Faith! none worth mentioning," said the prisoner gaily. "Treat me as a
+raw beginner. Though our acquaintance has been but brief, I have the
+utmost confidence in you."
+
+"Then, sir," said Jeanne, blushing, "suppose I were to assist you in
+removing this gay doublet, so as to give both of us more freedom and
+less responsibility?"
+
+"A perquisite of the office?" queried the prisoner with a smile, as he
+slipped one arm out of its sleeve.
+
+A flush came over Jeanne's fair brow. "That was ungenerous," she said.
+
+"Nay, pardon me, sweet one," said he, laughing: "'twas but a poor jest
+of mine--in bad taste, I willingly admit."
+
+    [Illustration: "Nay pardon me, sweet one, 'twas but a jest of
+     mine."]
+
+"I was sure you did not mean to hurt me," she replied kindly, while her
+fingers were busy in turning back the collar of his shirt. It was
+composed, she noticed, of the finest point lace; and she could not
+help a feeling of regret that some slight error--as must, from what she
+knew, exist somewhere--should compel her to take a course so at variance
+with her real feelings. Her only comfort was that the youth himself
+seemed entirely satisfied with his situation. He hummed the last air
+from Paris during her ministrations, and when she had quite finished,
+kissed the pretty fingers with a metropolitan grace.
+
+"And now, sir," said Jeanne, "if you will kindly come this way: and
+please to mind the step--so. Now, if you will have the goodness to kneel
+here--nay, the sawdust is perfectly clean; you are my first client this
+morning. On the other side of the block you will find a nick, more or
+less adapted to the human chin, though a perfect fit cannot, of course,
+be guaranteed in every case. So! Are you pretty comfortable?"
+
+"A bed of roses," replied the prisoner. "And what a really admirable
+view one gets of the valley and the river, from just this particular
+point!"
+
+"Charming, is it not?" replied Jeanne. "I'm so glad you do justice to
+it. Some of your predecessors have really quite vexed me by their
+inability to appreciate that view. It's worth coming here to see it. And
+now, to return to business for one moment,--would you prefer to give the
+word yourself? Some people do; it's a mere matter of taste. Or will you
+leave yourself entirely in my hands?"
+
+"Oh, in your fair hands," replied her client, "which I beg you to
+consider respectfully kissed once more by your faithful servant to
+command."
+
+Jeanne, blushing rosily, stepped back a pace, moistening her palms as
+she grasped her axe, when a puffing and blowing behind caused her to
+turn her head, and she perceived the Mayor hastily ascending the
+scaffold.
+
+"Hold on a minute, Jeanne, my girl," he gasped. "Don't be in a hurry.
+There's been some little mistake."
+
+Jeanne drew herself up with dignity. "I'm afraid I don't quite
+understand you, Mr. Mayor," she replied in freezing accents. "There's
+been no little mistake on my part that I'm aware of."
+
+"No, no, no," said the Mayor apologetically; "but on somebody else's
+there has. You see it happened in this way: this here young fellow was
+going round the town last night; and he'd been dining, I should say, and
+he was carrying on rather free. I will only say so much in your
+presence, that he was carrying on decidedly free. So the town-guard
+happened to come across him, and he was very high and very haughty, he
+was, and wouldn't give his name nor yet his address--as a gentleman
+should, you know, when he's been dining and carrying on free. So our
+fellows just ran him in--and it took the pick of them all their time to
+do it, too. Well, then, the other chap who was in prison--the gentleman
+who obliged you yesterday, you know--what does he do but slip out and
+run away in the middle of all the row and confusion; and very
+inconsiderate and ungentlemanly it was of him to take advantage of us in
+that mean way, just when we wanted a little sympathy and forbearance.
+Well, the Sheriff comes this morning to fetch out his man for execution,
+and he knows there's only one man to execute, and he sees there's only
+one man in prison, and it all seems as simple as A B C--he never was
+much of a mathematician, you know--so he fetches our friend here along,
+quite gaily. And--and that's how it came about, you see; _hinc illae
+lachrymae_, as the Roman poet has it. So now I shall just give this young
+fellow a good talking to, and discharge him with a caution; and we
+sha'n't require you any more to-day, Jeanne, my girl."
+
+"Now, look here, Mr. Mayor," said Jeanne severely, "you utterly fail to
+grasp the situation in its true light. All these little details may be
+interesting in themselves, and doubtless the press will take note of
+them; but they are entirely beside the point. With the muddleheadedness
+of your officials (which I have frequently remarked upon) I have nothing
+whatever to do. All I know is, that this young gentleman has been
+formally handed over to me for execution, with all the necessary legal
+requirements; and executed he has got to be. When my duty has been
+performed, you are at liberty to reopen the case if you like; and any
+'little mistake' that may have occurred through your stupidity you can
+then rectify at your leisure. Meantime, you've no _locus standi_ here at
+all; in fact, you've no business whatever lumbering up my scaffold. So
+shut up and clear out."
+
+"Now, Jeanne, do be reasonable," implored the Mayor. "You women are so
+precise. You never will make any allowance for the necessary margin of
+error in things."
+
+"If I were to allow the necessary margin for all _your_ errors, Mayor,"
+replied Jeanne coolly, "the edition would have to be a large-paper one,
+and even then the text would stand a poor chance. And now, if you
+don't allow me the necessary margin to swing my axe, there may be
+another 'little mistake'----"
+
+    [Illustration: But at this point a hubbub arose at the foot of
+     the scaffold.]
+
+But at this point a hubbub arose at the foot of the scaffold, and
+Jeanne, leaning over, perceived sundry tall fellows, clad in the livery
+of the Seigneur, engaged in dispersing the municipal guard by the agency
+of well-directed kicks, applied with heartiness and anatomical
+knowledge. A moment later, there strode on to the scaffold, clad in
+black velvet, and adorned with his gold chain of office, the stately old
+seneschal of the Chateau, evidently in a towering passion.
+
+"Now, mark my words, you miserable little bladder-o'-lard," he roared at
+the Mayor (whose bald head certainly shone provokingly in the morning
+sun), "see if I don't take this out of your skin presently!" And he
+passed on to where the youth was still kneeling, apparently quite
+absorbed in the view.
+
+"My lord," he said firmly though respectfully, "your hair-brained folly
+really passes all bounds. Have you entirely lost your head?"
+
+"Faith, nearly," said the young man, rising and stretching himself. "Is
+that you, old Thibault? Ow, what a crick I've got in my neck! But that
+view of the valley was really delightful!"
+
+"Did you come here simply to admire the view, my lord?" inquired
+Thibault severely.
+
+    [Illustration: "Now mark my words you miserable little
+     bladder-o'-lard, see if I don't take this out of your skin
+     presently."]
+
+"I came because my horse would come," replied the young Seigneur
+lightly: "that is, these gentlemen here were so pressing; they would not
+hear of any refusal; and besides, they forgot to mention what my
+attendance was required in such a hurry for. And when I got here,
+Thibault, old fellow, and saw that divine creature--nay, a goddess,
+_dea certe_--so graceful, so modest, so anxious to acquit herself with
+credit---- Well, you know my weakness; I never could bear to disappoint
+a woman. She had evidently set her heart on taking my head; and as she
+had my heart already----"
+
+"I think, my lord," said Thibault, with some severity, "you had better
+let me escort you back to the Chateau. This appears to be hardly a safe
+place for light-headed and susceptible persons!"
+
+Jeanne, as was natural, had the last word. "Understand me, Mr. Mayor,"
+said she, "these proceedings are entirely irregular. I decline to
+recognise them, and when the quarter expires I shall claim the usual
+bonus!"
+
+
+
+
+V
+
+
+When, an hour or two later, an invitation arrived--courteously worded
+but significantly backed by an escort of half-a-dozen tall archers--for
+both Jeanne and the Mayor to attend at the Chateau without delay, Jeanne
+for her part received it with neither surprise nor reluctance. She had
+felt it especially hard that the only two interviews fate had granted
+her with the one man who had made some impression on her heart should be
+hampered, the one by considerations of propriety, the other by the
+conflicting claims of her profession and its duties. On this
+occasion, now, she would have an excellent chaperon in the Mayor; and,
+business being over for the day, they could meet and unbend on a common
+social footing. The Mayor was not at all surprised either, considering
+what had gone before; but he was exceedingly terrified, and sought some
+consolation from Jeanne as they proceeded together to the Chateau. That
+young lady's remarks, however, could hardly be called exactly
+comforting.
+
+    [Illustration: An invitation arrived, backed by an escort of
+     half-a-dozen tall archers.]
+
+"I always thought you'd put your foot in it some day, Mayor," she said.
+"You are so hopelessly wanting in system and method. Really, under the
+present happy-go-lucky police arrangements, I never know whom I may not
+be called upon to execute. Between you and my cousin Enguerrand, life is
+hardly safe in this town. And the worst of it is, that we other
+officials on the staff have to share in the discredit."
+
+"What do you think they'll do to me, Jeanne?" whimpered the Mayor,
+perspiring freely.
+
+"Can't say, I'm sure," pursued the candid Jeanne. "Of course, if it's
+anything in the _rack_ line of business, I shall have to superintend the
+arrangements, and then you can feel sure you're in capable hands. But
+probably they'll only fine you pretty smartly, give you a month or two
+in the dungeons, and dismiss you from your post; and you will hardly
+grudge any slight personal inconvenience resulting from an arrangement
+so much to the advantage of the town."
+
+This was hardly reassuring, but the Mayor's official reprimand of the
+previous day still rankled in this unforgiving young person's mind.
+
+On their reaching the Chateau the Mayor was conducted aside, to be dealt
+with by Thibault; and from the sounds of agonised protestation and
+lament which shortly reached Jeanne's ears, it was evident that he was
+having a _mauvais quart d'heure_. The young lady was shown respectfully
+into a chamber apart, where she had hardly had time to admire
+sufficiently the good taste of the furniture and the magnificence of the
+tapestry with which the walls were hung, when the Seigneur entered and
+welcomed her with a cordial grace that put her entirely at her ease.
+
+"Your punctuality puts me to shame, fair mistress," he said,
+"considering how unwarrantably I kept you waiting this morning, and how
+I tested your patience by my ignorance and awkwardness."
+
+He had changed his dress, and the lace round his neck was even richer
+than before. Jeanne had always considered one of the chief marks of a
+well-bred man to be a fine disregard for the amount of his washing-bill;
+and then with what good taste he referred to recent events--putting
+himself in the wrong, as a gentleman should!
+
+"Indeed, my lord," she replied modestly, "I was only too anxious to hear
+from your own lips that you bore me no ill-will for the part forced on
+me by circumstances in our recent interview. Your lordship has
+sufficient critical good sense, I feel sure, to distinguish between the
+woman and the official."
+
+"True, Jeanne," he replied, drawing nearer; "and while I shrink from
+expressing, in their fulness, all the feelings that the woman inspires
+in me, I have no hesitation--for I know it will give you pleasure--in
+acquainting you with the entire artistic satisfaction with which I
+watched you at your task!"
+
+"But, indeed," said Jeanne, "you did not see me at my best. In fact, I
+can't help wishing--it's ridiculous, I know, because the thing is hardly
+practicable--but if I could only have carried my performance quite
+through, and put the last finishing touches to it, you would not have
+been judging me now by the mere 'blocking-in' of what promised to be a
+masterpiece!"
+
+"Yes, I wish it could have been arranged somehow," said the Seigneur,
+reflectively; "but perhaps it's better as it is. I am content to let the
+artist remain for the present on trust, if I may only take over, fully
+paid up, the woman I adore!"
+
+Jeanne felt strangely weak. The official seemed oozing out at her
+fingers and toes, while the woman's heart beat even more distressingly.
+
+"I have one little question to ask," he murmured (his arm was about her
+now).
+
+"Do I understand that you still claim your bonus?"
+
+Jeanne felt like water in his strong embrace; but she nerved herself to
+answer, faintly but firmly, "Yes!"
+
+"Then so do I," he replied, as his lips met hers.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Executions continued to occur in St. Radegonde; the Radegundians being
+conservative and very human. But much of the innocent enjoyment that
+formerly attended them departed after the fair Chatelaine had ceased to
+officiate. Enguerrand, on succeeding to the post, wedded Clairette, she
+being (he was heard to say) a more suitable match in mind and temper
+than others of whom he would name no names. Rumour had it, that he found
+his match and something over; while as for temper--and mind (which she
+gave him in bits). But the domestic trials of high-placed officials have
+a right to be held sacred. The profession, in spite of his best
+endeavours, languished nevertheless. Some said that the scaffold lacked
+its old attraction for criminals of spirit; others, more unkindly, that
+the headsman was the innocent cause, and that Enguerrand was less fatal
+in his new sphere than formerly, when practising in the criminal court
+as advocate for the defence.
+
+
+[Illustration: THE END]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Headswoman, by Kenneth Grahame
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