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diff --git a/3425-h/3425-h.htm b/3425-h/3425-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d493b3c --- /dev/null +++ b/3425-h/3425-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,12577 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" +"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=utf-8" /> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Samantha at Saratoga, by Marietta Holley</title> +<link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> +<style type="text/css"> + +body { margin-left: 20%; + margin-right: 20%; + text-align: justify; } + +h1, h2, h3, h4, h5 {text-align: center; font-style: normal; font-weight: +normal; line-height: 1.5; margin-top: .5em; margin-bottom: .5em;} + +h1 {font-size: 300%; + margin-top: 0.6em; + margin-bottom: 0.6em; + letter-spacing: 0.12em; + word-spacing: 0.2em; + text-indent: 0em;} +h2 {font-size: 150%; margin-top: 2em; margin-bottom: 1em;} +h3 {font-size: 130%; margin-top: 1em;} +h4 {font-size: 120%;} +h5 {font-size: 110%;} + +.no-break {page-break-before: avoid;} /* for epubs */ + +hr {width: 80%; margin-top: 2em; margin-bottom: 2em;} + +div.chapter {page-break-before: always; margin-top: 4em;} + +p {text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: 0.25em; + margin-bottom: 0.25em; } + +.p2 {margin-top: 2em;} + +p.poem {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-size: 90%; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; } + +p.center {text-align: center; + text-indent: 0em; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; } + +p.right {text-align: right; + margin-right: 10%; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; } + +div.fig { display:block; + margin:0 auto; + text-align:center; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em;} + +p.footnote {font-size: 90%; + text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; } + +sup { vertical-align: top; font-size: 0.6em; } + + +a:link {color:blue; text-decoration:none} +a:visited {color:blue; text-decoration:none} +a:hover {color:red} + +</style> + +</head> + +<body> + +<div style='text-align:center; font-size:1.2em; font-weight:bold'>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Samantha at Saratoga, by Marietta Holley</div> +<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and +most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms +of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online +at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you +are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the +country where you are located before using this eBook. +</div> +<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: Samantha at Saratoga</div> +<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Marietta Holley</div> +<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Release Date: April 26, 2001 [eBook #3425]<br /> +[Most recently updated: February 21, 2020]</div> +<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> +<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> +<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: an anonymous volunteer</div> +<div style='margin-top:2em; margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AT SARATOGA ***</div> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" style="width:100%;" alt="cover" /> +</div> + +<h1>Samantha at Saratoga</h1> + +<h2 class="no-break">by Marietta Holley</h2> + +<hr /> + +<p> +Marietta Holley (1836-1926) has been called America’s first female +humorist. She was an extremely popular author and a well-known suffragette. +Holley, who never married, published her first books as Josiah Allen’s +Wife, only adding her own name after her success was established. She lived in +an 18 room home she built in Jefferson County, New York and drove a +Pierce-Arrow. Her legacy of more than 20 books has mostly been forgotten today +but they are still very good reading. +</p> + +<p> +I have no information about the illustrator. +</p> + +<hr /> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto"> + <tr align="center"> + <td align="center"> + <img src="images/dedleft.gif" height="156" width="120" alt="Josiah" /> + </td> + <td> + <b>TO THE GREAT ARMY OF SUMMER TRAMPS</b> + <p> + <b>THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED</b> + </p> + <p> + <b>BY THEIR COMRADE AND FELLOW WANDERER</b> + </p> + <p> + <b>THE AUTHOR</b> + </p> + <p> + <b>* * * * * * * * * * *</b> + </p> + </td> + <td> + <img src="images/dedrght.gif" height="156" width="143" + alt="Samantha" /> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + + +<h2>Contents</h2> + +<table summary="" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto"> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#pref01">PREFACE</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap01">CHAPTER I. SAMANTHA AT SARATOGA</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap02">CHAPTER II. ARDELIA TUTT AND HER MOTHER</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap03">CHAPTER III. THE CHERITY OF THE JONESVILLIANS</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap04">CHAPTER IV. ARDELIA AND ABRAM GEE</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap05">CHAPTER V. WE ARRIVE AT SARATOGA</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap06">CHAPTER VI. SARATOGA BY DAYLIGHT</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap07">CHAPTER VII. SEEING THE DIFFERENT SPRINGS</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap08">CHAPTER VIII. JOSIAH AND SAMANTHA TAKE A LONG WALK</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap09">CHAPTER IX. JOSIAH’S FLIRTATIONS</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap10">CHAPTER X. MISS G. WASHINGTON FLAMM</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap11">CHAPTER XI. VISIT TO THE INDIAN ENCAMPMENT</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap12">CHAPTER XII. A DRIVE TO SARATOGA LAKE</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap13">CHAPTER XIII. VISITS TO NOTABLE PLACES</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap14">CHAPTER XIV. LAKE GEORGE AND MOUNT McGREGOR</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap15">HAPTER XV. ADVENTURES AT VARIOUS SPRINGS</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap16">CHAPTER XVI. AT A LAWN PARTY</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap17">CHAPTER XVII. A TRIP TO SCHUYLERVILLE</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap18">CHAPTER XVIII. THE SOCIAL SCIENCE MEETING</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap19">CHAPTER XIX. ST. CHRISTINA’S HOME</a></td> +</tr> + +<tr> +<td> <a href="#chap20">CHAPTER XX. AN ACCIDENT WITH RESULTS </a></td> +</tr> + +</table> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="pref01"></a>A SORT OF PREFACE.<br/> +WHICH IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO READ.</h2> + +<p> +When Josiah read my dedication he said “it wuz a shame to dedicate a book +that it had took most a hull bottle of ink to write, to a lot of creeters that +he wouldn’t have in the back door yard.” +</p> + +<p> +But I explained it to him, that I didn’t mean tramps with broken hats, +variegated pantaloons, ventilated shirt-sleeves, and barefooted. But I meant +tramps with diamond ear-rings, and cuff-buttons, and Saratoga trunks, and big +accounts at their bankers. +</p> + +<p> +And he said, “Oh, shaw!” +</p> + +<p> +But I went on nobly, onmindful of that shaw, as female pardners have to be, if +they accomplish all the talkin’ they want to. +</p> + +<p> +And sez I, “It duz seem sort o’ pitiful, don’t it, to think +how sort o’ homeless the Americans are a gettin’? How the posys +that blow under the winders of Home are left to waste their sweet breaths +amongst the weeds, while them that used to love ’em are a climbin’ +mountain tops after strange nosegays.” +</p> + +<p> +The smoke that curled up from the chimbleys, a wreathin’ its way up to +the heavens—all dead and gone. The bright light that shone out of the +winder through the dark a tellin’ everybody that there wuz a Home, and +some one a waitin’ for somebody—all dark and lonesome. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, the waiter and the waited for are all a rushin’ round somewhere, on +the cars, mebby, or a yot, a chasin’ Pleasure, that like as not settled +right down on the eves of the old house they left, and stayed there. +</p> + +<p> +I wonder if they will find her there when they go back again. Mebby they will, +and then agin, mebby they won’t. For Happiness haint one to set round and +lame herself a waitin’ for folks to make up their minds. +</p> + +<p> +Sometimes she looks folks full in the face, sort o’ solemn like and +heart-searchin’, and gives ’em a fair chance what they will chuse. +And then if they chuse wrong, shee’ll turn her back to ’em, for +always. I’ve hearn of jest such cases. +</p> + +<p> +But it duz seem sort o’ solemn to think—how the sweet restful +felin’s that clings like ivy round the old familier door +steps—where old 4 fathers feet stopped, and stayed there, and baby feet +touched and then went away—I declare for’t, it almost brings tears, +to think how that sweet clingin’ vine of affection, and domestic repose, +and content—how soon that vine gets tore up nowadays. +</p> + +<p> +It is a sort of a runnin’ vine anyway, and folks use it as sech, they run +with it. Jest as it puts its tendrils out to cling round some fence post, or +lilock bush, they pull it up, and start off with it. And then its roots get +dry, and it is some time before it will begin to put out little shoots and +clingin’ leaves agin round some petickular mountain top, or bureau or +human bein’. And then it is yanked up agin, poor little runnin’ +vine, and run with—and so on—and so on—and so on. +</p> + +<p> +Why sometimes it makes me fairly heart-sick to think on’t. And I fairly +envy our old 4 fathers, who used to set down for several hundred years in one +spot. They used to get real rested, it must be they did. +</p> + +<p> +Jacob now, settin’ right by that well of his’n for pretty nigh two +hundred years. How much store he must have set by it during the last hundred +years of ’em! How attached he must have been to it! +</p> + +<p> +Good land! Where is there a well that one of our rich old American patriarks +will set down by for two years, leavin’ off the orts. There haint none, +there haint no such a well. Our patriarks haint fond of well water, anyway. +</p> + +<p> +And old Miss Abraham now, and Miss Isaac—what stay to home wimmen they +wuz, and equinomical! +</p> + +<p> +What a good contented creeter Sarah Abraham wuz. How settled down, and stiddy, +stayin’ right to home for hundreds of years. Not gettin’ rampent +for a wider spear, not a coaxin’ old Mr. Abraham nights to take her to +summer resorts, and winter hants of fashion. +</p> + +<p> +No, old Mr. Abraham went to bed, and went to sleep for all of her. +</p> + +<p> +And when they did once in a hundred years, or so, make up their minds to move +on a mile or so, how easy they traveled. Mr. Abraham didn’t have to lug +off ten or twelve wagon loads of furniture to the Safe Deposit Company, and +spend weeks and weeks a settlin’ his bisness, in Western lands, and +Northern mines, Southern railroads, and Eastern wildcat stocks, to get ready to +go. And Miss Abraham didn’t have to have a dozen dress-makers in the +house for a month or two, and messenger boys, and dry goods clerks, and have to +stand and be fitted for basks and polenays, and back drapery, and front +drapery, and tea gowns, and dinner gowns, and drivin’ gowns, and +mornin’ gowns, and evenin’ gowns, and etectery, etcetery, etcetery. +</p> + +<p> +No, all the preperations she had to make wuz to wrop her mantilly a little +closter round her, and all Mr. Abraham had to do wuz to gird up his lions. That +is what it sez. And I don’t believe it would take much time to gird up a +few lions, it don’t seem to me as if it would. +</p> + +<p> +And when these few simple preperations had been made, they jest histed up their +tent and laid it acrost a camel, and moved on a mild or two, walkin’ +afoot. +</p> + +<p> +Why jest imagine if Miss Abraham had to travel with eight or ten big Saratoga +trunks, how could they have been got up onto that camel? It couldn’t lave +been done. The camel would have died, and old Mr. Abraham would also have +expired a tryin’ to lift ’em up. No, it was all for the best. +</p> + +<p> +And jest think on’t, for all of these simple, stay to home ways, they +called themselves Pilgrims and Sojourners. Good land! What would they have +thought nowadays to see folks make nothin’ of settin’ off for +China, or Japan or Jerusalem before breakfast. +</p> + +<p> +And what did they know of the hardships of civilization? Now to sposen the +case, sposen Miss Abraham had to live in New York winters, and go to two or +three big receptions every day, and to dinner parties, and theatre parties, and +operas and such like, evenin’s, and receive and return about three +thousand calls, and be on more ’n a dozen charitable boards (hard boards +they be too, some on ’em) and lots of other projects and +enterprizes—be on the go the hull winter, with a dress so tight she +couldn’t breathe instead of her good loose robes, and instead of her good +comfortable sandals have her feet upon high-heeled shoes pinchin’ her +corns almost unto distraction. And then to Washington to go all through it +agin, and more too, and Florida, and Cuba; and then to the sea-shore and have +it all over agin with sea bathin’ added. +</p> + +<p> +And then to the mountains, and all over agin with climbin’ round added. +Then to Europe, with seas sickness, picture galleries, etc., added. And so on +home agin in the fall to begin it all over agin. +</p> + +<p> +Why Miss Abraham would be so tuckered out before she went half through with one +season, that she would be a dead 4 mother. +</p> + +<p> +And Mr. Abraham—why one half hour down at the stock exchange would have +been too much for that good old creeter. The yells and cries, and distracted +movements of the crowd of Luker Gatherers there, would have skairt him to +death. He never would have lived to follow Miss Abraham round from pillow to +post through summer and winter seasons—he wouldn’t have lived to +waltz, or toboggen, or suffer other civilized agonies. No, he would have been a +dead patriark. And better off so, I almost think. +</p> + +<p> +Not but what I realize that civilization has its advantages. Not but what I +know that if Mr. Abraham wanted Miss Abraham to part his hair straight, or +clean off his phylackrity when she happened to be out a pickin’ up manny, +he couldn’t stand on one side of his tent and telephone to bring her +back, but had to yell at her. +</p> + +<p> +And I realize fully that if one of his herd got strayed off into another +county, they hadn’t no telegraf to head it off, but the old man had to +poke off through rain or sun, and hunt it up himself. And he couldn’t set +down cross-legged in front of his tent in the mornin’, and read what +happened on the other side of the world, the evenin’ before. +</p> + +<p> +And I know that if he wanted to set down some news, they had to kill a sheep, +and spend several years a dressin’ off the hide into parchment—and +kill a goose, or chase it up till they wuz beat out, for a goose-quill. +</p> + +<p> +And then after about 20 years or so, they could put it down that Miss Isaac had +got a boy—the boy, probably bein’ a married man himself and a +father when the news of his birth wuz set down. +</p> + +<p> +I realize this, and also the great fundimental fact that underlies all +philosophies, that you can’t set down and stand up at the same +time—and that no man, however pure and lofty his motives may be, +can’t lean up against a barn door, and walk off simultanious. And if he +don’t walk off, then the great question comes in, How will he get there? +And he feels lots of times that he must stand up so’s to bring his head +up above the mullien and burdock stalks, amongst which he is a settin’, +and get a wider view-a broader horizeon. And he feels lots of time, that he +must get there. +</p> + +<p> +This is a sort of a curius world, and it makes me feel curius a good deal of +the time as we go through it. But we have to make allowances for it, for the +old world is on a tramp, too. It can’t seem to stop a minute to oil up +its old axeltrys—it moves on, and takes us with it. It seems to be in a +hurry. +</p> + +<p> +Everything seems to be in a hurry here below. And some say Heaven is a place of +continual sailin’ round and goin’ up and up all the time. But while +risin’ up and soarin’ is a sweet thought to me, still sometimes I +love to think that Heaven is a place where I can set down, and set for some +time. +</p> + +<p> +I told Josiah so (waked him up, for he wuz asleep), and he said he sot more +store on the golden streets, and the wavin’ palms, and the procession of +angels. (And then he went to sleep agin.) +</p> + +<p> +But I don’t feel so. I’d love, as I say, to jest set down for quite +a spell, and set there, to be kinder settled down and to home with them whose +presence makes a home anywhere. I wouldn’t give a cent to sail round +unless I wuz made to know it wuz my duty to sail. Josiah wants to. +</p> + +<p> +But, as I say, everybody is in a hurry. Husbands can’t hardly find time +to keep up a acquaintance with their wives. Fathers don’t have no time to +get up a intimate acquaintance with their children. Mothers are in such a +hurry—babys are in such a hurry—that they can’t scarcely find +time to be born. And I declare for’t, it seems sometimes as if folks +don’t want to take time to die. +</p> + +<p> +The old folks at home wait with faithful, tired old eyes for the letter that +don’t come, for the busy son or daughter hasn’t time to write +it—no, they are too busy a tearin’ up the running vine of affection +and home love, and a runnin’ with it. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, the hull nation is in a hurry to get somewhere else, to go on, it +can’t wait. It is a trampin’ on over the Western slopes, a +trampin’ over red men, and black men, and some white men a hurryin’ +on to the West—hurryin’ on to the sea. And what then? +</p> + +<p> +Is there a tide of restfulness a layin’ before it? Some cool waters of +repose where it will bathe its tired forward, and its stun-bruised feet, and +set there for some time? +</p> + +<p> +I don’t s’pose so. I don’t s’pose it is in its nater +to. I s’pose it will look off longingly onto the far off somewhere that +lays over the waters—beyend the sunset. +</p> + +<p class="right"> +JOSIAH ALLEN’S WIFE. +</p> + +<p> +NEW YORK, June, 1887. +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap01"></a>Chapter I.<br/> +SAMANTHA AT SARATOGA.</h2> + +<p> +The idee on’t come to me one day about sundown, or a little before +sundown. I wuz a settin’ in calm peace, and a big rockin’ chair +covered with a handsome copperplate, a readin’ what the Sammist sez about +“Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.” The words struck deep, and as I +said, it was jest that very minute that the idee struck me about goin’ to +Saratoga. Why I should have had the idee at jest that minute, I can’t +tell, nor Josiah can’t. We have talked about it sense. +</p> + +<p> +But good land! such creeters as thoughts be never wuz, nor never will be. They +will creep in, and round, and over anything, and get inside of your mind +(entirely unbeknown to you) at any time. Curious, haint it?—How you may +try to hedge ’em out, and shet the doors and everything. But they will +creep up into your mind, climb up and draw up their ladders, and there they +will be, and stalk round independent as if they owned your hull head; curious! +</p> + +<p> +Well, there the idee wuz—I never knew nothin’ about it, nor how it +got there. But there it wuz, lookin’ me right in the face of my soul, +kinder pert and saucy, sayin’, “You’d better go to Saratoga +next summer; you and Josiah.” +</p> + +<p> +But I argued with it. Sez I, “What should we go to Saratoga for? None +of the relations live there on my side, or on hison; why should we go?” +</p> + +<p> +But still that idee kep’ a hantin me; “You’d better go to +Saratoga next summer, you and Josiah.” And it whispered, “Mebby it +will help Josiah’s corns.” (He is dretful troubled with corns.) +And so the idee kep’ a naggin’ me, it nagged me for three days and +three nights before I mentioned it to my Josiah. And when I did, he scorfed at +the idee. He said, “The idee of water curing them dumb +corns—“ +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Josiah Allen, stranger things have been done;” sez I, +“that water is very strong. It does wonders.” +</p> + +<p> +And he scorfed agin and sez, “Don’t you believe faith could cure +em?” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image01.gif" height="317" width="283" alt="Josiah in woodlot" /> +</div> + +<p> +Sez I, “If it wuz strong enough it could.” +</p> + +<p> +But the thought kep a naggin’ me stiddy, and then—here is the +curious part of it—the thought nagged me, and I nagged Josiah, or not +exactly nagged; not a clear nag; I despise them, and always did. But I kinder +kep’ it before his mind from day to day, and from hour to hour. And the +idee would keep a tellin’ me things and I would keep a tellin’ +’em to my companion. The idee would keep a sayin’ to me, “It +is one of the most beautiful places in our native land. The waters will help +you, the inspirin’ music, and elegance and gay enjoyment you will find +there, will sort a uplift you. You had better go there on a tower;” and +agin it sez, “Mebby it will help Josiah’s corns.” +</p> + +<p> +And old Dr. Gale a happenin’ in at about that time, I asked him about it +(he doctored me when I wuz a baby, and I have helped ’em for years. Good +old creetur, he don’t get along as well as he ort to. Loontown is a +healthy place.) I told him about my strong desire to go to Saratoga, and I +asked him plain if he thought the water would help my pardner’s corns. +And he looked dreadful wise and he riz up and walked across the floor 2 and fro +several times, probably 3 times to, and the same number of times fro, with his +arms crossed back under the skirt of his coat and his eyebrows knit in deep +thought, before he answered me. Finely he said, that modern science had not +fully demonstrated yet the direct bearing of water on corn. In some cases it +might and probably did stimulate ’em to greater luxuriance, and then +again a great flow of water might retard their growth. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, anxiously, “Then you’d advise me to go there with +him?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez he, “on the hull, I advise you to go.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image02.gif" height="265" width="341" alt="Samantha and Dr. Gale" /> +</div> + +<p> +Them words I reported to Josiah, and sez I in anxious axents, “Dr. Gale +advises us to go.” +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah sez, “I guess I shan’t mind what that old fool +sez.” +</p> + +<p> +Them wuz my pardner’s words, much as I hate to tell on ’em. But +from day to day I kep’ it stiddy before him, how dang’r’us it +wuz to go ag’inst a doctor’s advice. And from day to day he would +scorf at the plan. And I, ev’ry now and then, and mebby oftener, would +get him a extra good meal, and attack him on the subject immegatly afterwards. +But all in vain. And I see that when he had that immovible sotness onto him, +one extra meal wouldn’t soften or molify him. No, I see plain I must +make a more voyalent effort. And I made it. For three stiddy days I put +before that man the best vittles that these hands could make, or this brain +could plan. +</p> + +<p> +And at the end of the 3d day I gently tackled him agin on the subject, and his +state wuz such, bland, serene, happified, that he consented without a parlay. +And so it wuz settled that the next summer we wuz to go to Saratoga. And he +began to count on it and make preparation in a way that I hated to see. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, from the very minute that our two minds wuz made up to go to Saratoga +Josiah Allen wuz set on havin’ sunthin new and uneek in the way of dress +and whiskers. I looked coldly on the idee of puttin’ a gay stripe down +the legs of the new pantaloons I made for him, and broke it up, also a figured +vest. I went through them two crisises and came out triumphent. +</p> + +<p> +Then he went and bought a new bright pink necktie with broad long ends which he +intended to have float out, down the front of his vest. And I immegatly took +it for the light-colored blocks in my silk log-cabin bedquilt. Yes, I settled +the matter of that pink neck-gear with a high hand and a pair of shears. And +Josiah sez now that he bought it for that purpose, for the bedquilt, because he +loves to see a dressy quilt,—sez he always enjoys seein’ a cabin +look sort o’ gay. But good land! he didn’t. He intended and +calculated to wear that neck-tie into Saratoga,—a sight for men and +angels, if I hadn’t broke it up. +</p> + +<p> +But in the matter of whiskers, there I was powerless. He trimmed ’em +(unbeknow to me) all off the side of his face, them good honerable side +whiskers of hisen, that had stood by him for years in solemnity and decency, +and begun to cultivate a little patch on the end of his chin. I argued with +him, and talked well on the subject, eloquent, but it wuz of no use, I might as +well have argued with the wind in March. +</p> + +<p> +He said, he wuz bound on goin’ into Saratoga with a fashionable whisker, +come what would. +</p> + +<p> +And then I sithed, and he sez,—“ You have broke up my pantaloons, +my vest, and my neck-tie, you have ground me down onto plain broadcloth, but in +the matter of whiskers I am firm! Yes!” sez he “on these whiskers I +take my stand!” +</p> + +<p> +And agin I sithed heavy, and I sez in a dretful impressive way, as I looked on +’em, “Josiah Allen, remember you are a father and a +grandfather!” +</p> + +<p> +And he sez firmly, “If I wuz a great-grandfather I would trim my whiskers +in jest this way, that is if I wuz a goin’ to set up to be fashionable +and a goin’ to Saratoga for my health.” +</p> + +<p> +And I groaned kinder low to myself, and kep’ hopin’ that mebby they +wouldn’t grow very fast, or that some axident would happen to ’em, +that they would get afire or sunthin’. But they didn’t. And they +grew from day to day luxurient in length, but thin. And his watchful care +kep’ ’em from axident, and I wuz too high princepled to set fire to +’em when he wuz asleep, though sometimes, on a moonlight night, I was +tempted to, sorely tempted. +</p> + +<p> +But I didn’t, and they grew from day to day, till they wuz the curiusest +lookin’ patch o’ whiskers that I ever see. And when we sot out for +Saratoga, they wuz jest about as long as a shavin’ brush, and looked some +like one. There wuz no look of a class-leader, and a perfesser about +’em, and I told him so. But he worshiped ’em, and gloried in the +idee of goin’ afar to show ’em off. +</p> + +<p> +But the neighbors received the news that we wuz goin’ to a waterin’ +place coldly, or with ill-concealed envy. +</p> + +<p> +Uncle Jonas Bently told us he shouldn’t think we would want to go round +to waterin’ troughs at our age. +</p> + +<p> +And I told him it wuzn’t a waterin’ trough, and if it wuz, I +thought our age wuz jest as good a one as any, to go to it. +</p> + +<p> +He had the impression that Saratoga wuz a immense waterin’ trough where +the country all drove themselves summers to be watered. He is deef as a +Hemlock post, and I yelled up at him jest as loud as I dast for fear of +breakin’ open my own chest, that the water got into us, instid of our +gettin’ into the water, but I didn’t make him understand, for I +hearn afterwards of his sayin’ that, as nigh as he could make out we all +got into the waterin’ trough and wuz watered. +</p> + +<p> +The school teacher, a young man, with long, small lims, and some pimpley on the +face, but well meanin’, he sez to me: “Saratoga is a beautiful +spah.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image03.gif" height="350" width="234" alt="Samantha and the school +teacher" /> +</div> + +<p> +And I sez warmly, “It aint no such thing, it is a village, for I have +seen a peddler who went right through it, and watered his horses there, and he +sez it is a waterin’ place, and a village.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez he, “it is a beautiful village, a modest retiren +city, and at the same time it is the most noted spah on this continent.” +</p> + +<p> +I wouldn’t contend with him for it wuz on the stoop of the meetin’ +house, and I believe in bein’ reverent. But I knew it wuzn’t no +“spah,”—that had a dreadful flat sound to me. And any way I +knew I should face its realities soon and know all about it. Lots of wimen said +that for anybody who lived right on the side of a canal, and had two good, +cisterns on the place, and a well, they didn’t see why I should feel in a +sufferin’ condition for any more water; and if I did, why didn’t I +ketch rain water? +</p> + +<p> +Such wuz some of the deep arguments they brung up aginst my embarkin’ on +this enterprise, they talked about it sights and sights;—why, it lasted +the neighbors for a stiddy conversation, till along about the middle of the +winter. Then the Minister’s wife bought a new alpacky +dress—unbeknown to the church till it wuz made up—and that kind +o’ drawed their minds off o’ me for a spell. +</p> + +<p> +Aunt Polly Pixley wuz the only one who received the intelligence gladly. And +she thought she would go too. She had been kinder run down and most bed rid for +years. And she had a idee the water might help her. And I encouraged Aunt Polly +in the idee, for she wuz well off. Yes, Mr. and Miss Pixley wuz very well off +though they lived in a little mite of a dark, low, lonesome house, with some +tall Pollard willows in front of the door in a row, and jest acrost the road +from a grave-yard. +</p> + +<p> +Her husband had been close and wuzn’t willin’ to have any other +luxury or means of recreation in the house only a bass viol, that had been his +father’s—he used to play on that for hours and hours. I thought +that wuz one reason why Polly wuz so nervous. I said to Josiah that it would +have killed me outright to have that low grumblin’ a goin’ on from +day to day, and to look at them tall lonesome willows and grave stuns. +</p> + +<p> +But, howsumever, Polly’s husband had died durin’ the summer, and +Polly parted with the bass viol the day after the funeral. She got out some +now, and wuz quite wrought up with the idee of goin’ to Saratoga. +</p> + +<p> +But Sister Minkley; sister in the church and sister-in-law by reason of +Wbitefield, sez to me, that she should think I would think twice before I +danced and waltzed round waltzes. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “I haint thought of doin’ it, I haint thought of +dancin’ round or square or any other shape.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez she, “You have got to, if you go to Saratoga.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Not while life remains in this frame.” +</p> + +<p> +And old Miss Bobbet came up that minute—it wuz in the store that we were +a talkin’—and sez she, “It seems to me, Josiah Allen’s +wife, that you are too old to wear low-necked dresses and short sleeves.” +</p> + +<p> +“And I should think you’d take cold a goin’ +bareheaded,” sez Miss Luman Spink who wuz with her. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, lookin’ at ’em coldly, “Are you lunys or has softness +begun on your brains?” +</p> + +<p> +“Why,” sez they, “you are talking about goin’ to +Saratoga, hain’t you?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Well then you have got to wear ’em,” says Miss Bobbet. +“They don’t let anybody inside of the incorporation without they +have got on a low-necked dress and short sleeves.” +</p> + +<p> +“And bare-headed,” sez Miss Spink; “if they have’ got a +thing on their heads they won’t let ’em in.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “I don’t believe it” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Miss Bobbet, “It is so, for I hearn it, and hearn it straight. James +Robbets’s wife’s sister had a second cousin who lived neighbor to a +woman whose niece had been there, been right there on the spot. And Celestine +Bobbet, Uncle Ephraim’s Celestine, hearn it from James’es wife when +she wuz up there last spring, it come straight. They all have to go in low +necks.” +</p> + +<p> +“And not a mite of anything on their heads,” says Miss Spink. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I in sarcastical axents, “Do men have to go in low necks too?” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” says Miss Bobbet. “But they have to have the tails of +their coats kinder pinted. Why,” sez she, “I hearn of a man that +had got clear to the incorporation and they wouldn’t let him in because +his coat kinder rounded off round the bottom, so he went out by the side of the +road and pinned up his coat tails, into a sort of a pinted shape, and good land +the incorporation let him right in, and never said a word.” +</p> + +<p> +I contended that these things wuzn’t so, but I found it wuz the +prevailin’ opinion. For when I went to see the dressmaker about +makin’ me a dress for the occasion, I see she felt just like the rest +about it. My dress wuz a good black alpacky. I thought I would have it begun +along in the edge of the winter, when she didn’t have so much to do, and +also to have it done on time. We laid out to start on the follerin’ July, +and I felt that I wanted everything ready. +</p> + +<p> +I bought the dress the 7th day of November early in the forenoon, the next day +after my pardner consented to go, and give 65 cents a yard for it, double +wedth. I thought I could get it done on time, dressmakers are drove a good +deal. But I felt that a dressmaker could commence a dress in November and get +it done the follerin’ July, without no great strain bein’ put onto +her; and I am fur from bein’ the one to put strains onto wimmen, and +hurry ’em beyend their strength. But I felt Almily had time to make it on +honor and with good buttonholes. +</p> + +<p> +“Well,” she sez, the first thing after she had unrolled the +alpacky, and held it up to the light to see if it was firm—sez she: +</p> + +<p> +“I s’pose you are goin’ to have it made with a long train, +and low neck and short sleeves, and the waist all girted down to a +taper?” +</p> + +<p> +I wuz agast at the idee, and to think Alminy should broach it to me, and I give +her a piece of my mind that must have lasted her for days and days. It wuz a +long piece, and firm as iron. But she is a woman who likes to have the last +word and carry out her own idees, and she insisted that nobody was allowed in +Saratoga—that they wuz outlawed, and laughed at if they didn’t have +trains and low necks, and little mites of waists no bigger than pipe-stems. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Alminy Hagidone, do you s’pose that I, a woman of my age, +and a member of the meetin’ house, am a goin’ to wear a low-necked +dress?” +</p> + +<p> +“Why not?,” sez she, “it is all the fashion and wimmen as old +agin as you be wear ’em.” +</p> + +<p> +Well, sez I, “It is a shame and a disgrace if they do, to say +nothin’ of the wickedness of it. Who do you s’pose wants to see +their old skin and bones? It haint nothin’ pretty anyway. And as fer the +waists bein’ all girted up and drawed in, that is nothin’ but +crushed bones and flesh and vitals, that is just crowdin’ down your +insides into a state o’ disease and deformity, torturin’ your heart +down so’s the blood can’t circulate, and your lungs so’s you +can’t breathe, it is nothin’ but slow murder anyway, and if I ever +take it into my head to kill myself, Alminy Hagidone, I haint a goin’ to +do it in a way of perfect torture and torment to me, I’d ruther be +drownded.” +</p> + +<p> +She quailed, and I sez, “I am one that is goin’ to take good long +breaths to the very last.” She see I wuz like iron aginst the idee of +bein’ drawed in, and tapered, and she desisted. I s’pose I did look +skairful. But she seemed still to cling to the idee of low necks and trains, +and she sez sort a rebukingly: +</p> + +<p> +“You ortn’t to go to Saratoga if you haint willin’ to do as +the rest do. I spose,” sez she dreamily, “the streets are full of +wimmen a walkin’ up and down with long trains a hangin’ down and +sweepin’ the streets, and ev’ry one on ’em with low necks and +short sleeves, and all on ’em a flirting with some man” +</p> + +<p> +“Truly,” sez I, “if that is so, that is why the idee come to +me. I am <i>needed</i> there. I have a high mission to perform about. But I +don’t believe it is so.” +</p> + +<p> +“Then you won’t have it made with a long train?” sez she, a +holdin’ up a breadth of the alpacky in front of me, to measure the skirt. +</p> + +<p> +“No mom!” sez I, and there wuz both dignity and deep resolve in +that “mom.” It wuz as firm and stern principled a “mom” +as I ever see, though I say it that shouldn’t. And I see it skairt her. +She measured off the breadths kinder trembly, and seemed so anxious to pacify +me that she got it a leetle shorter in the back than it wuz in the front. And +(for the same reason) it fairly clicked me in the neck it wuz so high, and the +sleeves wuz that long that I told Josiah Allen (in confidence) I was tempted to +knit some loops across the bottom of ’em and wear ’em for mits. +</p> + +<p> +But I didn’t, and I didn’t change the dress neither. Thinkses I, +mebby it will have a good moral effect on them other old wimmen there. Thinkses +I, when they see another woman melted and shortened and choked fur +principle’s sake, mebby they will pause in their wild careers. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, this wuz in November, and I wuz to have the dress, if it wuz a possible +thing, by the middle of April, so’s to get it home in time to sew some +lace in the neck. And so havin’ everything settled about goin’ I +wuz calm in my frame most all the time, and so wuz my pardner. +</p> + +<p> +And right here, let me insert this one word of wisdom for the special comfort +of my sect and yet it is one that may well be laid to heart by the more +opposite one. If your pardner gets restless and oneasy and middlin’ +cross, as pardners will be anon, or even oftener—start them off on a +tower. A tower will in 9 cases out of 10 lift ’em out of their +oneasiness, their restlessness and their crossness. +</p> + +<p> +<i>Why</i> this is so I cannot tell, no more than I can explain other mysteries of +creation, but I know it is so. I know they will come home more placider, more +serener, and more settled-downer. Why I have known a short tower to Slab City +or Loontown act like a charm on my pardner, when crossness wuz in his mean and +snappishness wuz present with him. I have known him to set off with the mean of +a lion and come back with the liniment of a lamb. Curious, haint it? +</p> + +<p> +And jest the prospect of a tower ahead is a great help to a woman in +rulin’ and keepin’ a pardner straight and right in his liniments +and his acts. Somehow jest the thought of a tower sort a lifts him up in mind, +and happifys him, and makes him easier to quell, and pardners <i>must</i> be quelled +at times, else there would be no livin’ with ’em. This is known to +all wimmen companions and and men too. Great great is the mystery of pardners. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image04.gif" height="150" width="267" alt="Josiah mad and happy" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap02"></a>Chapter II.<br/> +ARDELLA TUTT AND HER MOTHER.</h2> + +<p> +But to resoom and continue on. I was a settin’ one day, after it wuz all +decided, and plans laid on; I wuz a settin’ by the fire a mendin’ +one of Josiah’s socks. I wuz a settin’ there, as soft and pliable +in my temper as the woosted I wuz a darnin’ ’em with, my Josiah at +the same time a peacefelly sawin’ wood in the wood-house, when I heard a +rap at the door and I riz up and opened it, and there stood two perfect +strangers, females. I, with a perfect dignity and grace (and with the sock +still in my left hand) asked ’em to set down, and consequently they sot. +Then ensued a slight pause durin’ which my two gray eyes roamed over the +females before me. +</p> + +<p> +The oldest one wuz very sharp in her face and had a pair of small round eyes +that seemed when they were sot onto you to sort a bore into you like two +gimlets. Her nose was very sharp and defient, as if it wuz constantly +sayin’ to itself, “I am a nose to be looked up to, I am a nose to +be respected, and feared if necessary.” Her chin said the same thing, and +her lips which wuz very thin, and her elbow, which wuz very sharp. +</p> + +<p> +Her dress was a stiff sort of a shinin’ poplin, made tight acrost the +chest and elboes. And her hat had some stiff feathers in it that stood up +straight and sort a sharp lookin’. She had a long sharp breast-pin sort a +stabbed in through the front of her stiff standin’ collar, and her +knuckles sot out through her firm lisle thread gloves, her umberell wuz long +and wound up hard, to that extent I have never seen before nor sense. She wuz, +take it all in all, a hard sight, and skairful. +</p> + +<p> +The other one wuzn’t no more like her in looks than a soft fat young +cabbage head is like the sharp bean pole that it grows up by the side on, in +the same garden. She wuz soft in her complexion, her lips, her cheeks, her +hands, and as I mistrusted at that first minute, and found out afterwards, soft +in her head too. Her dress wuz a loose-wove parmetty, full in the waist and +sort a drabbly round the bottom. Her hat wuz drab-colored felt with some loose +ribbon bows a hangin’ down on it, and some soft ostridge tips. She had +silk mits on and her hands wuz fat and kinder moist-lookin’. Her eyes wuz +very large and round, and blue, and looked sort o’ dreamy and +wanderin’ and there wuz a kind of a wrapped smile on her face all the +time. She had a roll of paper in her hand and I didn’t dislike her looks +a mite. +</p> + +<p> +Finally the oldest female opened her lips, some as a steel trap would open +sudden and kinder sharp, and sez she: “I am Miss Deacon Tutt, of +Tuttville, and this is my second daughter Ardelia. Cordelia is my oldest, and I +have 4 younger than Ardelia.” +</p> + +<p> +I bowed real polite and said, “I wuz glad to make the acquaintance of the +hull 7 on ’em.” I can be very genteel when I set out, almost +stylish. +</p> + +<p> +“I s’pose,” says she, “I am talkin’ to Josiah +Allen’s wife?” +</p> + +<p> +I gin her to understand that that wuz my name and my station, and she went on, +and sez she: “I have hearn on you through my husband’s 2d cousin, +Cephas Tutt.” +</p> + +<p> +“Cephas,” sez she, “bein’ wrote to by me on the subject +of Ardelia, the same letter containin’ seven poems of hern, and on +bein’ asked to point out the quickest way to make her name and fame known +to the world at large, wrote back that he havin’ always dealt in butter +and lard, wuzn’t up to the market price in poetry, and that you would be +a good one to go to for advice. And so,” sez she a pointin’ to a +bag she carried on her arm (a hard lookin’ bag made of crash with little +bullets and knobs of embroidery on it), “and so we took this bag full of +Ardelia’s poetry and come on the mornin’ train, Cephas’es +letter havin’ reached us at nine o’clock last night. I am a woman +of business.” +</p> + +<p> +The bag would hold about 4 quarts and it wuz full. I looked at it and sithed. +</p> + +<p> +“I see,” sez she, “that you are sorry that we didn’t +bring more poetry with us. But we thought that this little batch would give you +a idee of what a mind she has, what a glorious, soarin’ genus wuz in +front of you, and we could bring more the next time we come.” +</p> + +<p> +I sithed agin, three times, but Miss Tutt didn’t notice ’em a mite +no more’n they’d been giggles or titters. She wouldn’t have +took no notice of them. She wuz firm and decided doin’ her own errent, +and not payin’ no attention to anything, nor anybody else. +</p> + +<p> +“Ardelia, read the poem you have got under your arm to Miss Allen! The +bag wuz full of her longer ones,” sez she, “but I felt that I <i>must</i> +let you hear her poem on Spring. It is a gem. I felt it would be wrongin’ +you, not to give you that treat. Read it Ardelia.” +</p> + +<p> +I see Ardelia wuz used to obeyin’ her ma. She opened the sheet to once, +and begun. It wuz as follows: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“ARDELIA TUTT ON SPRING.”<br/> +<br/> +“Oh spring, sweet spring, thou comest in the spring;<br/> +Thou comest in the spring time of the year.<br/> +We fain would have thee come in Autumn; fling-<br/> +est thou so sad a shade, oh Spring, so dear?<br/> +<br/> +“So dear the hopes thou draggest in thy rear,<br/> +So mournful, and so wan, and not so sweet;<br/> +So weird thou art, and oh, all! all! too dear<br/> +Art thou, alas! oh mournful spring; my ear—<br/> +<br/> +“My ear that long did lay at gate of hope,<br/> +Prone at the gate while years glided by—<br/> +I fain would lift that ear, alas, why cope<br/> +With cruel wrong, it must lie there so heavy ’tis my eye—<br/> +<br/> +“My eye, I fling o’er buried ruins long,<br/> +I flung it there, regardless of the loss;<br/> +That eye, I fain would gather in with song;<br/> +In vain! ’tis gone, I bow and own the cross.<br/> +<br/> +“Dear ear, lone eye, sweet buried hopes, alas,<br/> +I give thee to the proud inexorable main;<br/> +Deep calls to deep, and it doth not reply,<br/> +But sayeth my heart, they will not be mine own again.”<br/> +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image05.gif" height="285" width="439" alt="Ardelia reads" /> +</div> + +<p> +Jest the minute Ardelia stopped readin’ Miss Tatt says proudly: +“There! haint that a remarkable poem,?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, calmly, “Yes it is a remarkable one.” +</p> + +<p> +“Did you ever hear anything like it?” says she, triumphly. +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez I honestly, “I never did.” +</p> + +<p> +“Ardelia, read the poem on Little Ardelia Cordelia; give Miss Allen the +treat of hearin’ that beautiful thing.” +</p> + +<p> +I sort a sithed low to myself; it wuz more of a groan than a common sithe, but +Miss Tutt didn’t heed it, she kep’ right on—</p> + +<p> +“I have always brought up my children to make other folks happy, all they +can, and in rehearsin’ this lovely and remarkable poem, Ardelia will be +not only makin’ you perfectly happy, givin’ you a rich intellectual +feast, that you can’t often have, way out here in the country, fur from +Tuttville; but she will also be attendin’ to the business that brought us +here. I have always fetched my children up to combine joy and business; weld +’em together like brass and steel. Ardelia, begin!” +</p> + +<p> +So Ardelia commenced agin’. It wuz wrote on a big sheet of paper and a +runnin’ vine wuz a runnin’ all ’round the edge of the paper, +made with a pen, it was as follows: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“STANZAS ENTITLED<br/> +“SWEET LITTLE THING.<br/> +<br/> +“Wrote on the death of Ardelia Cordelia, who died at the age of seven days and seven hours.”<br/> +<br/> +“Sweet little thing, that erst so soon did bloom,<br/> +And didest but fade, as falls the mystic flower!<br/> +Sweet little thing, we did but erst low croon<br/> +To thee a plaintive lay, and lo! for hour and hour—<br/> +Sweet little thing.<br/> +<br/> +“For hours we sang to thee of high emprise, the songs of hope<br/> +Though aged but week (and seven hours) thou laughested in thy sleep;<br/> +We cling to that in peace, though mope<br/> +The dullard knave, and biddest us go and weep—<br/> +Sweet little thing.<br/> +<br/> +“Thou laughested at high emprise, and yet, in sooth,<br/> +’Twere craven to say thou couldst not rise<br/> +To scale the mounts! to soar the cliffs! if worth<br/> +Were the test, twice worthy thou, in that the merit lies—<br/> +Sweet little thing.<br/> +<br/> +“Thy words that might have shook the breathless world with might;<br/> +Alas! I catchested not on any earthly ground,<br/> +That voice that might have guided nations high aright,<br/> +Congealed within thy tiny windpipe ’twas, it did not steal around—<br/> +Sweet little thing.<br/> +<br/> +“Sweet little thing, so soon thy wings unfurled<br/> +A wing, a feather lone low floated up the yard;<br/> +A world might weep, a world might stand appalled,<br/> +To hear it low rehearsed by tearful female bard—<br/> +Sweet little thing.”<br/> +</p> + +<p> +Jest as soon as Ardelia stopped rehearsin’ the verses, Miss Tutt sez agin +to me: +</p> + +<p> +“Haint that a most remarkable poem?” +</p> + +<p> +And agin I sez calmly, and trutbfully, “Yes, it is a very remarkable +one!” +</p> + +<p> +“And now,” sez Miss Tutt, plungin’ her hand in the bag, and +drawin’ out a sheet of paper, “to convince you that Ardelia has +always had this divine gift of poesy—that it is not, all the effect of +culture and high education—let me read to you a poem she wrote when she +wuz only a mere child,” and Miss Tutt read: +</p> + +<p class="center"> +“LINES ON A CAT +<br/> +“WRITTEN BY ARDELIA TUTT, +</p> + +<p class="center"> +“At the age of fourteen years, two months and eight days. +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“Oh Cat! Sweet Tabby cat of mine;<br/> +6 months of age has passed o’er thee,<br/> +And I would not resign, resign<br/> +The pleasure that I find in you.<br/> +Dear old cat!” +</p> + +<p> +“Don’t you think,” sez Miss Tutt, “that this poem shows +a fund of passion, a reserve power of passion and constancy, remarkable in one +so young?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez I reasonably, “no doubt she liked the cat. +And,” sez I, wantin’ to say somethin’ pleasant and agreeable +to her, “no doubt it was a likely cat.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh the cat itself is of miner importance,” sez Miss Tutt. +“We will fling the cat to the winds. It’s of my daughter I would +speak. I simply handled the cat to show the rare precocious intellect. Oh! how +it gushed out in the last line in the unconquerable burst of repressed +passion—’Dear old cat!’ Shakespeare might have wrote that +line, do you not think so?” +</p> + +<p> +“No doubt he might,” sez I, calmly, “but he +didn’t.” +</p> + +<p> +I see she looked mad and I hastened to say: “He wuzn’t aquainted +with the cat.” +</p> + +<p> +She looked kinder mollyfied and continued: +</p> + +<p> +“Ardelia dashes off things with a speed that would astonish a mere common +writer. Why she dashed off thirty-nine verses once while she wuz waitin’ +for the dish water to bile, and sent ’em right off to the printer, +without glancin’ at ’em agin.’ +</p> + +<p> +“I dare say so,” sez I, “I should judge so by the sound on +’em.” +</p> + +<p> +“Out of envy and jealousy, the rankest envy, and the shearest jealousy, +them verses wuz sent back with the infamous request that she should use +’em for curl papers. But she sot right down and wrote forty-eight verses +on a ‘Cruel Request,’ wrote ’em inside of eighteen minutes. +She throws off things, Ardelia does, in half an hour, that it would take other +poets, weeks and weeks to write.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image06.gif" height="285" width="453" alt="At the printers" /> +</div> + +<p> +“I persume so,” sez I, “I dare persume to say, they <i>never</i> +could write ’em.” +</p> + +<p> +“And now,” sez Miss Tutt, “the question is, will you put +Ardelia on the back of that horse that poets ride to glory on? Will you lift +her onto the back of that horse, and do it <i>at once?</i> I require nothin’ +hard of you,” sez she, a borin’ me through and through with her +eyes. “It must be a joy to you, Josiah Allen’s wife, a rare joy, to +be the means of bringin’ this rare genius before the public. I ask +nothin’ hard of you, I only ask that you demand, <i>demand</i> is the right +word, not ask; that would be grovelin’ trucklin’ folly, but <i>demand</i> +that the public that has long ignored my daugther Ardelia’s claim to a +seat amongst the immortal poets, demand them, <i>compel</i> them to pause, to listen, +and then seat her there, up, up on the highest, most perpendiciler pinnacle of +fame’s pillow. Will you do this?” +</p> + +<p> +I sat in deep dejection and my rockin’ chair, and knew not what to +say—and Miss Tutt went on: +</p> + +<p> +“We demand more than fame, deathless, immortal fame for ’em. We +want money, wealth for ’em, and want it at once! We want it for extra +household expenses, luxuries, clothing, jewelry, charity, etc. If we enrich the +world with this rare genius, the world must enrich us with its richest +emmolients. Will you see that we have it! Will you <i>at once</i> do as I asked you +to? Will you seat her immegately where I want her sot? +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, considerin’, “I can’t get her up there alone, I haint +strong enough.” Sez I, sort a mekanikly, “I have got the +rheumatez.” +</p> + +<p> +“So you scoff me do you? I came to you to get bread, am I to get worse +than a stun—a scoff?” +</p> + +<p> +“I haint gin you no scoff,” sez I, a spunkin’ up a little, +“I haint thought on it. I like Ardelia and wish her well, but I +can’t do merikles, I can’t compel the public to like things if they +don’t.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Miss Tutt, “You are jealous of her, you hate her.” +</p> + +<p> +“No, I don’t,” sez I, “I haint jealous of her, and I +like her looks first-rate. I love a pretty young girl,” sez I candidly, +“jest as I love a fresh posy with the dew still on it, a dainty rose-bud +with the sweet fragrance layin’ on its half-folded heart. I love +’em,” sez I, a beginnin’ to eppisode a little unbeknown to +me, “I love ’em jest as I love the soft unbroken silence of the +early spring mornin’, the sun all palely tinted with rose and blue, and +the earth alayin’ calm and unwoke-up, fresh and fair. I love such a +mornin’ and such a life, for itself and for the unwritten prophecis in +it. And when I see genius in such a sweet, young life, why it makes me feel as +it duz to see through all the tender prophetic beauty of the mornin’ +skies, a big white dove a soarin’ up through the blue heavens.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Miss Tutt, “You see that in Ardelia, but you wont own it, you know +you do.” +</p> + +<p> +“No!” sez I, “I would love to tell you that I see it in +Ardelia; I would honest, but I can’t look into them mornin’ skies +and say I see a white dove there, when I don’t see nothin’ more +than a plump pullet, a jumpin’ down from the fence or a pickin’ +round calmly in the back door-yard. Jest as likely the hen is, as the white +dove, jest as honerable, but you mustn’t confound the two +together.” +</p> + +<p> +“A <i>hen</i>,” sez Miss Tutt bitterly. “To confound my Ardelia with +a <i>hen!</i> And I don’t think there wuz ever a more ironieler +‘hen’ than that wuz, or a scornfuller one.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why,” sez I reasonably. “Hens are necessary and useful in +any position, both walkin’ and settin’, and layin’. You +can’t get’em in any position hardly, but what they are useful and +respectable, only jest flyin’. Hens can’t fly. Their wings haint +shaped for it. They look some like a dove’s wings on the outside, the +same feathers, the same way of stretchin’ ’em out. But there is +sunthin lackin’ in ’em, some heaven-given capacity for +soarin’ an for flight that the hens don’t have. And it makes +trouble, sights and sights of trouble when hens try to fly, try to, and +can’t! +</p> + +<p> +“At the same time it is hard for a dove to settle down in a back yard and +stay there, hard and tegus. She can and duz sometimes, but never till after her +wings have been clipped in some way. Poor little dove! I am always sorry for +’em to see ’em a walkin’ round there, a wantin’ to +fly—a not forgettin’ how it seemed to have their wings +soarin’ up through the clear sky, and the rush of the pure liquid +windwaves a sweepin’ aginst ’em, as they riz up, up, in freedom, +and happiness, and glory. Poor little creeters. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, but doves can, if you clip their wings, settle down and walk, but +hens CAN’T fly, not for any length of time they can’t. No amount of +stimulatin’ poultices applied to the ends of their tail feathers and +wings can ever make ’em fly. They can’t; it haint their nater. They +can make nests, and fill them with pretty downy chicks, they can be happy and +beautiful in life and mean; they can spend their lives in jest as honerable and +worthy a way as if they wuz a flyin’ round, and make a good honerable +appearance from day to day, <i>till</i> they begin to flop their wings, and +fly—then their mean is not beautiful and inspirin’; no, it is fur +from it. It is tuff to see ’em, tuff to see the floppin’, tuff to +see their vain efforts to soar through the air, tuff to see ’em fall +percepitously down onto the ground agin. For they must come there in the end; +they are morally certain to. +</p> + +<p> +“Now Ardelia is a sweet pretty lookin’ girl, she can set down in a +cushioned arm-chair by a happy fireside, with pretty baby faces a +clusterin’ around her and some man’s face like the sun a +reflectin’ back the light of her happy heart. But she can’t sit up +on the pinnacle of fame’s pillow. I don’t believe she can ever get +up there, I don’t. Honestly speakin’, I don’t.” +</p> + +<p> +“Envy!” sez Miss Tutt, “glarin’, shameless envy! You +don’t want Ardelia to rise! You don’t want her to mount that horse +I spoke of; you don’t want to own that you see genius in her. But you do, +Josiah Allen’s wife, you know you do—“ +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez I, “I don’t see it. I see the sweetness of +pretty girlhood, the beauty and charm of openin’ life, but I don’t +see nothin’ else, I don’t, honest. I don’t believe she has +got genius,” sez I, “seein’ you put the question straight to +me and depend a answer; seein’ her future career depends on her choice +now, I must tell you that I believe she would succeed better in the millionary +trade or the mantilly maker’s than she will in tryin’ to mount the +horse you speak on. +</p> + +<p> +“Why,” sez I, candidly, “some folks <i>can’t</i> get up on +that horse, their legs haint strong enough. And if they do manage to get on, it +throws ’em, and they lay under the heels for life. I don’t want to +see Ardelia there, I don’t want to see her maimed and lamed and stunted +so early in the mornin’ of life, by a kick from that animal, for she +can’t ride it,” sez I, “honestly she can’t. +</p> + +<p> +“There is nothin’ so useless in life, and so sort a wearin’ +as to be a lookin’ for sunthin’ that haint there. And when you +pretend it is there when it haint, you are addin’ iniquity to +uselessness; so if you’ll take my advice, the advice of a wellwisher, you +will stop lookin’, for I tell you plain that it haint there.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Miss Tutt, “Josiah Allen’s wife, you have for reasens best +known to your conscience baulked my hopes of a speedy immortality. You have +willfully tried to break down my hopes of an immense, immediate income to flow +out of them poems for luxuries, jewelry, charity, etc. But I can at least claim +this at your hands, I <i>demand honesty</i>. Tell me honestly what you yourself think +of them poems.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I (gettin’ up sort a quick and goin’ into the buttery, and +bringin’ out a little basket), “Here are some beautiful sweet +apples, won’t you have one?” +</p> + +<p> +“<i>Apples</i>, at such a time as this;” sez Miss Tutt +“When the slumberin’ world trembles before the advancin’ +tread of a new poet—When the heavens are listenin’ intently to +ketch the whispers of an Ardelia’s fate—Sweet apples! in such a +time as this!” sez she. But she took two. +</p> + +<p> +“I <i>demand the truth</i>,” sez she. “And you are a base, +trucklin’ coward, if you give it not.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, tryin’ to carry off the subject and the apples into the buttery; +“Poetry ort to have pains took with it.” +</p> + +<p> +“Jealousy!” sez Miss Tutt. “Jealousy might well whisper this. +Envy, rank envy might breathe the suspicion that Ardelia haint been took pains +with. But I can see through it,” sez she. “I can see through +it.” +</p> + +<p> +“Well,” sez I, wore out, “if they belonged to me, and if she +wuz my girl, I would throw the verses into the fire, and set her to a +trade.” +</p> + +<p> +She stood for a minute and bored me through and through with them eyes. Why it +seemed as if there wuz two holes clear through my very spirit, and sole; she +partly lifted that fearful lookin’ umberell as if to pierce me through +and through; it wuz a fearful seen. +</p> + +<p> +At last she turned, and flung the apple she wuz a holdin’ onto the floor +at my feet—and sez she, “I scorn ’em, and you too.” And +she kinder stomped her feet and sez, “I fling off the dust I have +gethered here, at your feet.” +</p> + +<p> +Now my floor wuz clean and looked like yeller glass, almost, it wuz so +shinin’ and spotless, and I resented the idee of her sayin’ that +she collected dust off from it. But I didn’t say nothin’ back. She +had the bag of poetry on her arm, and I didn’t feel like addin’ any +more to her troubles. +</p> + +<p> +But Ardelia, after her mother had swept out ahead, turned round and held out +her hand, and smiled a sweet but ruther of a despondent and sorrowful smile, +and I kissed her warmly. I like Ardelia. And what I said, I said for her good, +and she knew it. I like Ardelia. +</p> + +<p> +Well, Miss Tutt and Ardelia went from our house to Eben Pixley’s. They +are distant relatives of hern, and live about 3 quarters of a mile from us. The +Pixleys think everything of Ardelia but they can’t bear her mother. There +has been difficulties in the family. +</p> + +<p> +But Ardelia stayed there mor’n two weeks right along. She haint very +happy to home I believe. And before she went back home it wuz arranged that she +should teach the winter’s school and board to Miss Pixley’s. But +Miss Pixley wuz took sick with the tyfus before she had been there two +weeks—and, for all the world, if the deestrict didn’t want us to +board her. Josiah hadn’t much to do, so he could carry her back and forth +in stormy weather, and it wuz her wish to come. And it wuz Josiah’s wish +too, for the pay wuz good, and the work light—for <i>him</i>. And so I consented +after a parlay. +</p> + +<p> +But I didn’t regret it. She is a good little creeter and no more like her +mother than a feather bed is like a darnin’ needle. I like Ardelia: so +does Josiah. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image07.gif" height="180" width="241" alt="The schoolroom" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap03"></a>Chapter III.<br/> +THE CHERITY OF THE JONESVILLIANS.</h2> + +<p> +We have been havin’ a pound party here in Jonesville. There wuz a lot of +children left without any father or mother, nobody only an old grandma to take +care of ’em, and she wuz half bent with the rheumatiz, and had a swelled +neck, and lumbago and fits. +</p> + +<p> +They lived in an old tumble-down house jest outside of Jonesville. The father +wuz, I couldn’t deny, a shiftless sort of a chap, good-natured, always +ready to obleege a neighbor, but he hadn’nt no faculty. And I don’t +know, come to think of it, as anybody is any more to blame if they are born +without a faculty, than if they are born with only one eye. Faculty is one of +the things that you can’t buy. +</p> + +<p> +He loved to hunt. That is, he loved to hunt some kinds of things. He never +loved to hunt stiddy, hard work, and foller on the trail of it till he evertook +success and captured it. No, he druther hunt after catamounts and painters, in +woods where catamounts haint mounted, and painters haint painted sence he wuz +born. +</p> + +<p> +He generally killed nothin’ bigger than red squirrels and chipmunks. The +biggest game he ever brought down wuz himself. He shot himself one cold day in +the fall of the year. He wuz gettin’ over a brush fence, they +s’posed the gun hit against somethin’ and went off, for they found +him a layin’ dead at the bottom of the fence. +</p> + +<p> +I always s’posed that the shock of his death comin’ so awful sudden +unto her, killed his wife. She had been sick for a long spell, she had +consumption and dropsy, and so forth, and so forth, for a long time, and after +he wuz brought in dead, she didn’t live a week. She thought her eyes of +him, for no earthly reason as I could ever see. How strange, how strange a +dispensation of Providence it duz seem, that some women love some men, and vicy +versey and the same. +</p> + +<p> +But she did jest about worship him, and she died whisperin’ his name, and +reachin’ out her hands as if she see him jest ahead of her. And I told +Josiah I didn’t know but she did. I shouldn’t wonder a mite if she +did see him, for there is only the veil of mystery between us and the other +world at any time, and she had got so nigh to it, that I s’pose it got so +thin that she could see through it. +</p> + +<p> +Just as you can see through the blue haze that lays before our forest in Injun +summer. Come nigh up to it and you can see the silvery trunks of the maples and +the red sumac leaves, and the bright evergreens, and the forms of the happy +hunters a passin’ along under the glint of the sunbeams and the soft +shadows. +</p> + +<p> +They died in Injun summer. I made a wreath myself of the bright-colored leaves +to lay on their coffins. Dead leaves, dead to all use and purpose here, and yet +with the bright mysterious glow upon them that put me in mind of some immortal +destiny and blossoming beyond our poor dim vision. Jane Smedley wuz a good +woman, and so wuz Jim, good but shiftless. +</p> + +<p> +But I made the same wreath for her and Jim, and the strange mellow light lay on +both of ’em, makin’ me think in spite of myself of some happy +sunrisin’ that haply may dawn on some future huntin’ ground, where +poor Jim Smedley even, may strike the trail of success and happiness, hid now +from the sight of Samantha, hid from Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, they died within a week’s time of each other, and left nine +children, the oldest one of ’em not quite fifteen. She, the oldest one, +wuz a good girl, only she had the rickets so that when she walked, she seemed +to walk off all over the house backwards, and sideways, and every way, but when +she sot down, she wuz a good stiddy girl, and faithful; she took after her +mother, and her mother took after her grandmother, so there wuz three +takin’ after each other, one right after the other. +</p> + +<p> +Jane wuz a good, faithful, hard-workin’ creeter when she wuz well, +brought up her children good as she could, learnt ’em the catechism, and +took in all kinds of work to earn a little somethin’ towards +gettin’ a home for ’em; she and her mother both did, her mother +lived with ’em, and wuz a smart old woman, too, for one that wuz pretty +nigh ninety. And she wuzn’t worrysome much, only about one +thing—she wanted a home, wanted a home dretfully. Some wimmen are so; she +had moved round so much, from one poor old place to another, that she sort +o’ hankered after bein’ settled down into a stiddy home. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, there wuz eight children younger than Marvilla, that wuz the oldest young +girl’s name. Eight of ’em, countin’ each pair of twins as +two, as I s’pose they ort. The Town buried the father and mother, which +wuz likely and clever in it, but after that it wouldn’t give only jest so +much a week, which wuz very little, because it said, Town did, that they could +go to the poor-house, they could be supported easier there. +</p> + +<p> +I don’t know as the Town could really be blamed for sayin’ it, and +yet it seemed kinder mean in it, the Town wuz so big, and the children, most of +’em, wuz so little. +</p> + +<p> +But any way, it wuz jest sot on it, and there wuz the end of it, for you might +jest as well dispute the wind as to dispute the Town when it gets sot. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the old grandma said she would die in the streets before she would go to +the poor-house. She had come from a good family in the first place, +</p> + +<p> +They say she run away and left a good home and got married, and did dretful +poor in the married state. He waz shiftless and didn’t have nothin’ +and didn’t lay up any. And she didn’t keep any of her old +possessions only jest her pride. She kept that, or enough of it to say that she +would die on the road before she would go to the poor-house. And once I see her +cry she wanted a home so bad. +</p> + +<p> +And lots of folks blamed her for it, blamed the old woman awfully. They said +pride wuz so wicked. Wimmen who would run like deers if company came when they +wuzn’t dressed up slick, they would say the minute they got back into the +room, all out of breath with hurryin’ into their best clothes, +they’d say a pantin’ “That old woman ought to be <i>made</i> to go +to the poorhouse, to take the pride out of her, pride wuz so awfully, dretfully +wicked, and it wuz a shame that she wuz so ongrateful as to want a home of her +own.” And then they would set down and rest. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the family wuz in a sufferin’ state. The Town allowed ’em one +dollar a week. But how wuz ten human beings to live on a dollar a week. The +children worked every chance they got, but they couldn’t earn enough to +keep ’em in shoes, let alone other clothin’ and vittles. And the +old house wuz too cold for ’em to stay in durin’ the cold weather, +it wuz for Grandma Smedley, anyway, if the children could stand it she +couldn’t. And what wuz to be done. A cold winter wuz a cumin’ on, +and it wouldn’t delay a minute because Jim Smedley had got shot, and his +wife had follered him, into, let us hope, a happier huntin’ ground than +he had ever found in earthly forests. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I proposed to have a pound party for ’em. I said they might have it +to our house if they wanted it, but if they thought they wanted it in a more +central place (our house wuz quite a little to one side), why we could have it +to the schoolhouse. +</p> + +<p> +I proposed to Josiah the first one. He wuz a settin’ by the fire relapsed +into silence. It wuz a cold night outside, but the red curtains wuz down at our +sitting-room winders, shettin’ out the cold drizzlin’ storm of hail +and snow that wuz a deseendin’ onto the earth. The fire burned up warm +and bright, and we sot there in our comfortable home, with the teakettle +singin’ on the stove, and the tea-table set out cosy and cheerful, for +Josiah had been away and I had waited supper for him. +</p> + +<p> +As I sot there waitin’ for the tea-kettle to bile (and when I say bile, I +mean bile, I don’t, mean simmer) the thought of the Smedleys would come +in. The warm red curtains would keep the storm out, but they couldn’t +keep the thought of the children, and the feeble old grandmother out of the +room. They come right in, through the curtains, and the firelight, and +everything, and sot right down by me and hanted me. +</p> + +<p> +And what curious creeters thoughts be, haint they? and oncertain, too. You may +make all your plans to get away from ’em. You may shet up your doors and +winders, and set with a veil on and an umbrell up - but good land! how easy +they jest ontackle the doors and windows, with no sounds of ontacklin’ +and come right in by you. +</p> + +<p> +First you know there they be right by the side of you, under your umbrell, +under your veil, under your spectacles, a lookin’ right down into your +soul, and a hantin’ you. +</p> + +<p> +And then agin, when you expect to be hanted by ’em, lay out to, why, +they’ll jest stand off somewhere else, and don’t come nigh you. +Don’t want to. Oncertain creeters, thoughts be, and curious, curious +where they come from, and how. +</p> + +<p> +Why, I got to thinkin’ about it the other day, and I got lost, some like +children settin’ on a log over a creek a ridin’; there they be, and +there the log is, but they don’t seem to be there, they seem to be a +floatin’ down the water. +</p> + +<p> +And there I wuz, a settin’ in my rockin’ chair, and I seemed to be +a floatin’ down deep water, very deep. A thinkin’ and a +wonderin’. A thinkin’ how all through the ages what secrets God had +told to man when the time had come, and the reverent soul below was ready to +hear the low words whispered to his soul, and a wonderin’ what strange +revelation God held now, ready to reveal when the soul below had fitted itself +to hear, and comprehend it. +</p> + +<p> +Ah! such mysteries as He will reveal to us if we will listen. If we wait for +God’s voice. If we did not heed so much the confusing clamor of the +world’s voices about us. Emulation, envy, anger, strife, jealousy; if we +turned our heads away from these discords, and in the silence which is +God’s temple, listened, listened,—who knows the secrets He would +make known to us? +</p> + +<p> +Secrets of the day, secrets of the night, the sunshine, the lightning, the +storm. The white glow of that wonderful light that is not like the glow of the +sun or of the moon, but yet lighteth the world. That strange light that has a +soul - that reads our thoughts, translates our wishes, overleaps distance, +carrying our whispered words after holding our thoughts for ages, and then +unfoldin’ ’em at will. What other wondrous mysteries lie concealed, +wrapped around by that soft pure flame, mysteries that shall lie hidden until +some inspired eye shall be waiting, looking upward at the moment when +God’s hand shall draw back the shining veil for an instant, and let him +read the glowing secret. +</p> + +<p> +Secrets of language! shall some simple power, some symbol be revealed, and the +nations speak together? +</p> + +<p> +Secrets of song! shall some serene, harmonious soul catch the note to celestial +melodies? +</p> + +<p> +Secrets of sight! shall the eyes too dim now, see the faces of the silent +throngs that surround them, “the great cloud of witnesses”? +</p> + +<p> +Secrets of the green pathways that lead up through the blue silent fields of +space - shall we float from star to star? +</p> + +<p> +Secrets of holiness! shall earthly faces wear the pure light of the immortals? +</p> + +<p> +But oh! who shall be the happy soul that shall be listening when the time has +fully come and He shall reveal His great secret? The happy soul listening so +intently that it shall catch the low, clear whisper. +</p> + +<p> +Listening, maybe, through the sweet twilight shadows for the wonderful secret, +while the silver shallop of the moon is becalmed over the high northern +mountains, as if a fleet of heavenly guests had floated down through the clear +ocean waves of the sky to listen too - to hear the wonderful heavenly secret +revealed to man - and a clear star looks out over the glowing rose of the +western heavens, looking down like God’s eye, searching his soul, +searching if it be worthy of the great trust. +</p> + +<p> +Maybe it will be in the fresh dawning of the day, that the great secret will +grow bright and clear and luminous, as the dawning of the light. +</p> + +<p> +Maybe it will be in the midst of the storm - a mighty voice borne along by the +breath of the wind and the thunder, clamoring and demanding the hearer to +listen. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! if we were only good enough, only pure enough, what might not our rapt +vision discern? +</p> + +<p> +But we know not where or when the time shall be fully come, but who, who, shall +be the happy soul that shall, at the time, be listening? +</p> + +<p> +Oh! how deep, how strange the waters wuz, and how I floated away on ’em, +and how I didn’t. For there I wuz a settin in my own rockin’ chair +and there opposite me sot my own Josiah a whittlin’, for the <i>World</i> +hadn’t come, and he wuz restless and ill at ease, and time hung heavy on +his hands. +</p> + +<p> +There I sot the same Samantha - and the thought of the Smedleys, the same old +Smedleys, was a hantin’ of me, the same old hant, and I says to my +Josiah, says I: “Josiah, I can’t help thinkin’ about the +Smedleys,” says I. “What do you think about havin’ a pound +party for ’em, and will you take holt, and do your part?” +</p> + +<p> +“Good land, Samantha! Are you crazy? Crazy as a loon? What under the sun +do you want to pound the Smedleys for? I should think they had trouble enough +without poundin’ ’em. Why,” says he, “the old woman +couldn’t stand any poundin’ at all, without killin’ her right +out and out, and the childern haint over tough any of ’em. Why, what has +got into you? I never knew you to propose anything of that wicked kind before. +I sha’n’t have anything to do with it. If you want ’em +pounded you must get your own club and do your own poundin’.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I, “I don’t mean poundin’ ’em with a club, but let +folks buy a pound of different things to eat and drink and carry it to +’em, and we can try and raise a little money to get a warmer horse for +’em to stay in the coldest of the weather.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh!” says he, with a relieved look. “That’s a +different thing. I am willin’ to do that. I don’t know about +givin’ ’em any money towards gettin’ ’em a home, but +I’ll carry ’em a pound of crackers or a pound of flour, and help it +along all I can.” +</p> + +<p> +Josiah is a clever creeter (though close), and he never made no more objections +towards havin’ it. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the next day I put on my shawl and hood (a new brown hood knit out of +zephyr worsted, very nice, a present from our daughter Maggie, our son Thomas +Jefferson’s wife), and sallied out to see what the neighbor’s +thought about it. +</p> + +<p> +The first woman I called on wuz Miss Beazley, a new neighbor who had just moved +into the neighborhood. They are rich as they can be, and I expected at least to +get a pound of tea out of her. +</p> + +<p> +She said it wuz a worthy object, and she would love to help it along, but they +had so many expenses of their own to grapple with, that she didn’t see +her way clear to promise to do anything. She said the girls had got to have +some new velvet suits, and some sealskin sacques this winter, and they had got +to new furnish the parlors, and send their oldest boy to college, and the girls +wanted to have some diamond lockets, and ought to have ’em but she +didn’t know whether they could manage to get them or not, if they did, +they had got to scrimp along every way they could. And then they wuz +goin’ to have company from a distance, and had got to get another girl to +wait on ’em. And though she wished the poor well, she felt that she could +not dare to promise a cent to ’em. She wished the Smedley family +well—dretful well—and hoped I would get lots of things for +’em. But she didn’t really feel as if it would be safe for her to +promise’em a pound of anything, though mebby she might, by a great +effort, raise a pound of flour for ’em, or meal. +</p> + +<p> +Says I dryly (dry as meal ever wuz in its dryest times), “I +wouldn’t give too much. Though,” says I, “A pound of flour +would go a good ways if it is used right.” And I thought to myself that +she had better keep it to make a paste to smooth over things. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I went from that to Miss Jacob Hess’es, and Miss Jacob Hess +wouldn’t give anything because the old lady wuz disagreeable, old Grandma +Smedley, and I said to Miss Jacob Hess that if the Lord didn’t send His +rain and dew onto anybody only the perfectly agreeable, I guessed there would +be pretty dry times. It wuz my opinion there would be considerable of a drouth. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz a woman there a visitin’ Miss Hess—she wuz a stranger to +me and I didn’t ask her for anything, but she spoke up of her own accord +and said she would give, and give liberal, only she wuz hampered. She +didn’t say why, or who, or when, but she only sez this that “she +wuz hampered,” and I don’t know to this day what her hamper wuz, or +who hampered her. +</p> + +<p> +And then I went to Ebin Garven’ses, and Miss Ebin Garven wouldn’t +help any because she said “Joe Smedley had been right down lazy, and she +couldn’t call him anything else.” +</p> + +<p> +“But,” says I, “Joe is dead, and why should his children +starve because their pa wasn’t over and above smart when he wuz +alive?” But she wouldn’t give. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Miss Whymper said she didn’t approve of the <i>manner</i> of giving. Her +face wuz all drawed down into a curious sort of a long expression that she +called religus and I called somethin’ that begins with +“h-y-p-o”—and I don’t mean hypoey, either. +</p> + +<p> +No, she couldn’t give, she said, because she always made a practise of +not lettin’ her right hand know what her left hand give. +</p> + +<p> +And I said, for I wuz kinder took aback, and didn’t think, I said to her, +a glancin’ at her hands which wuz crossed in front of her, that I +didn’t see how she managed it, unless she give when her right hand was +asleep. +</p> + +<p> +And she said she always gave secret. +</p> + +<p> +And I said, “So I have always s’posed—very secret.” +</p> + +<p> +I s’pose my tone was some sarcastic, for she says, “Don’t the +Scripter command us to do so?” +</p> + +<p> +Says I firmly, “I don’t believe the Scripter means to have us stand +round talkin’ Bible, and let the Smedleys starve,” says I. “I +s’pose it means not to boast of our good deeds.” +</p> + +<p> +Says she, “I believe in takin’ the Scripter literal, and if I +can’t git my stuff there entirely unbeknown to my right hand I +sha’n’t give.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” says I, gettin’ up and movin’ towards the door, +“you must do as you’re a mind to with fear and +tremblin’.” +</p> + +<p> +I said it pretty impressive, for I thought I would let her see I could quote +Scripter as well as she could, if I sot out. +</p> + +<p> +But good land! I knew it wuz a excuse. I knew she wouldn’t give +nothin’ not if her right hand had the num palsy, and you could stick a +pin into it—no, she wouldn’t give, not if her right hand was cut +off and throwed away. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Miss Bombus, old Dr. Bombus’es widow, wouldn’t give—and +for all the world—I went right there from Miss Whymper’ses. Miss +Bombus wouldn’t give because I didn’t put the names in the +Jonesville <i>Augur</i> or <i>Gimlet</i>, for she said, “Let your good deeds so +shine.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why,” says I, “Miss Whymper wouldn’t give because she +wanted to give secreter, and you won’t give because you want to give +publicker, and you both quote Scripter, but it don’t seem to help the +Smedleys much.” +</p> + +<p> +She said that probably Miss Whymper was wrestin’ the Scripter to her own +destruction.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” says I, “while you and Miss Whymper are a +wrestin’ the Scripter, what will become of the Smedleys? It don’t +seem right to let them ‘freeze to death, and starve to death, while we +are a debatin’ on the ways of Providence.” +</p> + +<p> +But she didn’t tell, and she wouldn’t give. +</p> + +<p> +A woman wuz there a visitin’, Miss Bombus’es aunt, I think, and she +spoke up and said that she fully approved of her niece Bombus’es +decision. And she said, “As for herself, she never give to any subject +that she hadn’t thoroughly canvassed.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I, “There they all are in that little hut, you can canvass them at +any time. Though,” says I, thoughtfully, “Marvilla might give you +some trouble.” And she asked why. +</p> + +<p> +And I told her she had the rickets so she couldn’t stand still to be +canvassed, but she could probably follow her up and canvass her, if she tried +hard enough. And says I, “There is old Grandma Smedley, over eighty, and +five children under eight, you can canvass them easy.” +</p> + +<p> +Says she, “The Bible says, ‘Search the Sperits.’” +</p> + +<p> +And I was so wore out a seein’ how place after place, for three times a +runnin the Bible was lifted up and held as a shield before stingy creeters, to +ward off the criticism of the world and their own souls, that I says to +myself—loud enough so they could hear me, mebbe, “Why is it that +when anybody wants to do a mean, ungenerous act, they will try to quote a verse +of Scripter to uphold ’em, jest as a wolf will pull a lock of pure white +wool over his wolfish foretop, and try to look innocent and sheepish.” +</p> + +<p> +I don’t care if they did hear me, I wuz on the step mostly when I thought +it, pretty loud. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, from Miss Bombus’es I went to Miss Petingill’s. +</p> + +<p> +Miss Petingill is a awful high-headed creeter. She come to the door herself and +she said, I must excuse her for answerin’ the door herself. (I never +heard the door say anything and don’t believe she did, it was jest one of +her ways.) But she said I must excuse her as her girl wuz busy at the time. +</p> + +<p> +She never mistrusted that I knew her hired girl had left, and she wuz +doin’ her work herself. She had ketched off her apron I knew, as she come +through the hall, for I see it a layin’ behind the door, all covered with +flour. And after she had took me into the parlor, and we had set down, she +discovered some spots of flour on her dress, and she said she “had been +pastin’ some flowers into a scrap book to pass away the time.” But +I knew she had been bakin’ for she looked tired, tired to death almost, +and it wuz her bakin’ day. But she would sooner have had her head took +right off than to own up that she had been doin’ housework—why, +they say that once when she wuz doin’ her work herself, and was ketched +lookin’ awful, by a strange minister, that she passed herself off’ +for a hired girl and said, “Miss Petingill wasn’t to home, and when +pressed hard she said she hadn’t “the least idee where Miss +Petingill wuz.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image08.gif" height="309" width="171" alt="‘Hired’ girl" /> +</div> + +<p> +Jest think on ’t once—and there she wuz herself. The idee! +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the minute I sot down before I begun my business or anything, Miss +Petingill took me to do about puttin’ in Miss Bibbins President of our +Missionary Society for the Relief of Indignent Heathens. +</p> + +<p> +The Bibbins’es are good, very good, but poor. +</p> + +<p> +Says Miss Petingill: “It seems to me as if there might be some other +woman put in, that would have had more influence on the Church.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I, “Haint Miss Bibbins a good Christian sister, and a great +worker?” +</p> + +<p> +“Why yes, she wuz good, good in her place. But,” she said, +“the Petingills hadn’t never associated with the +Bibbins’es.” +</p> + +<p> +And I asked her if she s’posed that would make any difference with the +heathen; if the heathen would be apt to think less of Miss Bibbins because she +hadn’t associated with the Petingills? +</p> + +<p> +And she said, she didn’t s’pose “the heathens would ever know +it; it might make some difference to ’em if they did,” she thought, +“for it couldn’t be denied,” she said, “that Miss +Bibbins did not move in the first circles of Jonesville.” +</p> + +<p> +It had been my doin’s a puttin’ Miss Bibbins in and I took it right +to home, she meant to have me, and I asked her if she thought the Lord would +condemn Miss Bibbins on the last day, because she hadn’t moved in the +first circles of Jonesville? +</p> + +<p> +And Miss Petingill tosted her head a little, but had to own up, that she +thought “He wouldn’t.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, then,” sez I, “do you s’pose the Lord has any +objections to her working for Him now?” +</p> + +<p> +“Why no, I don’t know as the <i>Lord</i> would object.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “we call this work the Lord’s work, and +if He is satisfied with Miss Bibbins, we ort to be.” +</p> + +<p> +But she kinder nestled round, and I see she wuzn’t satisfied, but I +couldn’t stop to argue, and I tackled her then and there about the +Smedleys. I asked her to give a pound, or pounds, as she felt disposed. +</p> + +<p> +But she answered me firmly that she could’t give one cent to the +Smedleys, she wuz principled against it. +</p> + +<p> +And I asked her, “Why?” +</p> + +<p> +And she said, because the old lady wuz proud and wanted a home, and she thought +that pride wuz so wicked, that it ort to be put down. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Miss Huff, Miss Cephas Huff, wouldn’t give anything because one of +the little Smedleys had lied to her. She wouldn’t encourage lyin’. +</p> + +<p> +And I told her I didn’t believe she would be half so apt to reform him on +an empty stomach, as after he wuz fed up. But she wouldn’t yield. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Miss Daggett said she would give, and give abundant, only she +didn’t consider it a worthy object. +</p> + +<p> +But it wuzn’t nothin’ only a excuse, for the object has never been +found yet that she thought wuz a worthy one. Why, she wouldn’t give a +cent towards painting the Methodist steeple, and if that haint a high and +worthy object, I don’t know what is. Why, our steeple is over seventy +feet from the ground. But she wouldn’t help us a mite—not a single +cent. +</p> + +<p> +Take such folks as them and the object never suits ’em. They won’t +come right out and tell the truth that they are too stingy and mean to give +away a cent, but they will always put the excuse onto the object—the +object don’t suit ’em. +</p> + +<p> +Why, I do believe it is the livin’ truth that if the angel Gabriel wuz +the object, if he wuz in need and we wuz gittin’ up a pound party for +him—she would find fault with Gabriel, and wouldn’t give him a +ounce of provisions. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, I believe it—I believe they would tost their heads and say, they +always had had their thoughts about anybody that tooted so loud—it might +be all right but it didn’t <i>look</i> well, and would be apt to make talk. Or +they would say that he wuz shiftless and extravagant a loafin’ round in +the clouds, when he might go to work—or that he might raise the money +himself by selling the feathers offen his wings for down pillers—or some +of the rest of the Gabriel family might help him—or something, or +other—anyway they would propose some way of gittin’ out of +givin’ a cent to Gabriel. I believe it as much as I believe I live and +breathe; and so does Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Miss Mooney wouldn’t give anything because she thought Jane Smedley +wuzn’t so sick as she thought she wuz; she said “she was +spleeny.” +</p> + +<p> +And I told Miss Mooney that when a woman was sick enough to die, I thought she +ort to be called sick. +</p> + +<p> +But Miss Mooney wouldn’t give up, and insisted to the very last that Miss +Smedley wuz hypoey and spleeny—and thought she wuz sicker than she really +wuz. And she held her head and her nose up in a very disagreeable and haughty +way, and said as I left, that she never could bear to help spleeny people. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, all that forenoon did I traipse through the street and not one cent did I +get for the Smedleys, only Miss Gowdey said she would bring a cabbage and Miss +Deacon Peedick and Miss Ingledue partly promised a squash apiece. And I +mistrusted that they give ’em more to please me than anything else. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I wuz clean discouraged and beat out, and so I told Josiah. But he +encouraged me some by sayin’: +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I could have told you jest how it would be,” and, “You +would have done better, Samantha, to have been to home a cookin’ for your +own famishin’ family.” And several more jest such inspirin’ +remarks as men will give to the females of their families when they are engaged +in charitable enterprises. +</p> + +<p> +But I got a good, a very good dinner, and it made me feel some better, and then +I haint one to give up to discouragements, anyway. +</p> + +<p> +So I put on a little better dress for after noon, and my best bonnet and shawl, +and set sail again after dinner. +</p> + +<p> +And if I ever had a lesson in not givin’ up to discouragements in the +first place I had it then. For whether it wuz on account of the more dressy +look of my bonnet and shawl—or whether it wuz that folks felt cleverer in +the afternoon—or whether it wuz that I had gone to the more +discouragin’ places in the forenoon, and the better ones in the +afternoon—or whether it wuz that I tackled on the subject in a better way +than I had tackled ’em—whether it wuz for any of these reasons, or +all of ’em or somethin’—anyway my luck turned at noon, 12 M., +and all that afternoon I had one triumph after another—place after place +did I collect pound or pounds as the case may be (or collected the promises of +’em, I mean). I did <i>splendid</i>, and wuz prospered perfectly +amazing—and I went home feelin’ as happy and proud as a king or a +zar. +</p> + +<p> +And the next Tuesday evenin’ we had the pound party. They concluded to +have it to our house. And Thomas Jefferson and Maggie, and Tirzah Ann and +Whitefield came home early in the afternoon to help trim the parlor and +setin’ room with evergreens and everlastin’ posies, and fern +leaves. +</p> + +<p> +They made the room look perfectly beautiful. And they each of ’em, the +two childern and their companions, brought home a motto framed in nice plush +and gilt frames, which they put up on each side of the settin’ room, and +left them there as a present to their pa and me. They think a sight of us, the +childern do—and visey versey, and the same. +</p> + +<p> +One of ’em wuz worked in gold letters on a red back-ground “Bear Ye +One Another’s Burdens.” And the other wuz “Feed my +Lambs.” +</p> + +<p> +They think a sight on us, the childern do—they knew them mottoes would +highly tickle their pa and me. And they did seem to kinder invigorate up all +the folks that come to the party. +</p> + +<p> +And they wuz seemingly legions. Why, they come, and they kept a comin’. +And it did seem as if every one of ’em had tried to see who could bring +the most. Why, they brought enough to keep the Smedleys comfortable all winter +long. It wuz a sight to see ’em. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image09.gif" height="258" width="496" alt="The Pound Party" /> +</div> + +<p> +It wuz a curious sight, too, to set and watch what some of the folks said and +done as they brought their pounds in. +</p> + +<p> +I had to be to the table all the time a’most, for I wuz appointed a +committee, or a board—I s’pose it would be more proper to call +myself a board, more business like. Wall, I wuz the board appointed to lay the +things on—to see that they wuz all took care of, and put where they +couldn’t get eat up, or any other casuality happen to ’em. +</p> + +<p> +And I declare if some of the queerest lookin’ creeters didn’t come +up to the table and talk to me. There wuz lots of ’em there that I +didn’t know, folks that come from Zoar, Jim Smedley’s old +neighborhood. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz a long table stretched acrost one end of the settin’ room, and +I stood behind it some as if I wuz a dry goods merchant or grocery, and some +like a preacher. +</p> + +<p> +And the women would come up to me and talk. There wuz one woman who got real +talkative to me before the evenin’ wuz out. She said her home wuz over +two miles beyond Zoar. +</p> + +<p> +She had a young babe with her, a dark complexioned babe, with a little round +black head, that looked some like a cannon ball. She said she had shingled the +child that day about eight o’clock in the forenoon; she talked real +confidential to me. +</p> + +<p> +She said the babe had sights of hair, and she told her husband that day that if +he would shingle the babe she would come to the party and if he wouldn’t +shingle it she wouldn’t come. It seemed they had had a altercation on the +subject; she wanted it shingled and he didn’t. But it seemed that ruther +than stay away from the party—he consented, and shingled it. So they +come. +</p> + +<p> +They brought a eight pound loaf of maple sugar and two dozen eggs. They did +well. Then there wuz another woman who would walk her little girl into the +bedroom every few minutes, and wet her hair, and comb it over, and curl it on +her fingers. The child had a little blue flannel dress on, with a long plain +waist, and a long skirt gethered on full all round. Her hair lay jest as smooth +and slick as glass all the time, but five times did she walk her off, and go +through with that performance. She brought ten yards of factory cloth, and a +good woollen petticoat for the old grandma. She did first-rate. +</p> + +<p> +And then there wuz another woman who stayed by the table most all the +evenin’. She would gently but firmly ask everybody who brought anything, +what the price of the article wuz—and then she would tackle the different +women who come up to the table for patterns. I do believe she got the pattern +of every bask waist there wuz there, and every mantilly. +</p> + +<p> +And Abram Gee brought twenty-five loaves of bread—of different sizes, but +all on ’em good. And he looked at Ardelia Tutt every minute of the time. +And Ardelia brought a lot of verses,—“Stanzas on a +Grandmother.” I didn’t think they would do Grandma Smedley much +good, and then on the other hand I didn’t s’pose they would hurt +her any. +</p> + +<p> +But we had a splendid good time after the things wuz all brought in—of +course, bein’ a board the fore part of the evenin’ I naturally had +a harder time than I did the latter part, after I had got over it. +</p> + +<p> +The children, Thomas J., and Tirzah Ann, and Ardelia Tutt, and Abram Gee, and +some of the rest of the young folks sung and played some beautiful pieces, and +they had four tablows, which wuz perfectly beautiful. +</p> + +<p> +And then we passed good nice light biscuit and butter, and hot coffee, and pop +corn and apples. And it did seem, and all the neighbors said so, that it wuz +the very best party they had ever attended to. +</p> + +<p> +And before they went away they made a motion some of the responsable men +did—some made the motions and some seconded ’em—that they +would adjourn till jest one year from that night, when if the Smedleys was +still alive and in need—we would have jest such a party ag’in. +</p> + +<p> +And at the last on’t Elder Minkley made a prayer—a very thankful +and good prayer, but short. And then they went home. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the next mornin’ we started to carry the things to the Smedleys. It +wuz very early, for Josiah had got to go clear to Loontown on business, and I +wuz goin’ to stay with the childern till he got back. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a very cold mornin’. We hadn’t heard from the Smedleys for +two or three days, because we wanted to surprise ’em, so we didn’t +want to give ’em a hint beforehand of what we wuz a doin’. So, as I +say, it wuz a number of days sense we had heard from ’em, and the weather +wuz cold. +</p> + +<p> +When we got to the door it seemed to be dretful still there inside. And there +wuz some white frost on the latch jest as if a icy, white hand had onlatched +the door, and had laid on it last. +</p> + +<p> +We rapped, but nobody answered. And then we opened the door and went in, and +there they all lay asleep. The children waked up. But old Grandma didn’t. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image10.gif" height="285" width="443" alt="Nobody answered" /> +</div> + +<p> +There wuzn’t any fire in the room, and you could see by the freezing +coldness of the air that there hadn’t been any for a day or two. +</p> + +<p> +Grandma Smedley had took the poor old coverin’s all off from herself, and +put ’em round the youngest baby, little Jim. And he lay there all huddled +up tight to his Grandma, with his red cheek close to her white one, for he +loved her. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah cried and wept, and wept and cried onto his bandana—but I +didn’t. +</p> + +<p> +The tears run down my face some, to see the childern feel so bad when Grandma +couldn’t speak to ’em. +</p> + +<p> +But I knew that the childern would be took care of now, I knew the +Jonesvillians would be all rousted up and sorry enough for ’em, and would +be willin’ to do anything now, when it wuz some too late. +</p> + +<p> +And I felt that I couldn’t cry nor weep (and told Josiah so), the tears +jest dripped down my face in a stream, but I wouldn’t weep—for as I +said to myself: +</p> + +<p> +While the Jonesvillians had been a disputin’ back and forth, and +wrestin’ Scripter, and the meanin’ of Providence in regard to +helpin’ Grandma Smedley and gittin’ her a comfortable place to stay +in, and somethin’ to eat, the Lord himself had took the case in hand and +had gin her a home and the bread that satisfies.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image11.gif" height="283" width="373" alt="Samantha and Josiah at +home" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap04"></a>Chapter IV.<br/> +ARDELIA AND ABRAM GEE.</h2> + +<p> +Wall, I don’t s’pose there had been a teacher in our deestrict for +years and years that gin’ better satisfaction than Ardelia Tutt. Good +soft little creeter, the scholars any one of ’em felt above hurtin’ +on her or plagin’ her any way. She sort a made ’em feel they had to +take care on her, she wuz so sort a helpless actin’, and good natured, +and yet her learnin’ wuz good, fust-rate. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, Ardelia was thought a sight on in Jonesville by scholars and parents and +some that wuzn’t parents. One young chap in perticiler, Abram Gee by +name, who had just started a baker’s shop in Jonesville, he fell so deep +in love with her from the very start that I pitied him from about the bottom of +my heart. It wuz at our house that he fell. +</p> + +<p> +The young folks of our meetin’-house had a sort of a evenin’ +meetin’ there to see about raisin’ some money for the help of the +steeple—repairin’ of it. Abram is a member, and so is Ardelia, and +I see the hull thing. I see him totter and I see him fall. And prostrate he +wuz, from that first night. Never was there a feller that fell in love deeper, +or lay more helpless. And Ardelia liked him, that wuz plain to see; at fust as +I watched and see him totter, I thought she wuz a sort o’ wobblin’ +too, and when he fell deep, deep in love, I looked to see her a follerin’ +on. But Ardelia, as soft as she wuz, had an element of strength. She wuz +ambitious. She liked Abram, but she had read novels a good deal, and she had +for years been lookin’ for a prince to come a ridin’ up to their +dooryard in disguise with a crown on under his hat, and woo her to be his +bride. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image12.gif" height="299" width="413" alt="The Prince" /> +</div> + +<p> +And so she braced herself against the sweet influence of love and it wuz +tuff—I could see for myself that it wuz, when she had laid out to set on +a throne by the side of a prince, he a holdin’ his father’s scepter +in his hand—to descend from that elevation and wed a husband who wuz a +moulder of bread, with a rollin’ pin in his hand. It wuz tuff for +Ardelia; I could see right through her mind (it wuzn’t a great distance +to see), and I could see jest how a conflict wuz a goin’ on between love +and ambition. +</p> + +<p> +But Abram had my best wishes, for he wuz a boy I had always liked. The Gees had +lived neighbor to us for years. He wuz a good creeter and his bread wuz +delicious (milk emptin’s). He wuz a sort of a hard, sound lookin’ +chap, and she, bein’ so oncommon soft, the contrast kinder sot each other +off and made ’em look well together. +</p> + +<p> +He had a house and lot all paid for, with no incumbrances only a mortgage of +150 dollars and a lame mother. But he laid out to clear off the mortgage this +year, and I wuz told that mother Gee wuz a goin’ to live with her +daughter Susan, who had jest come into a big property—as much as 700 +dollars worth of land, besides cows, 2 heads of cow, and one head of a calf. +</p> + +<p> +I knew Mother Gee and she wuz goin’ to stay with Abram till he got +married and then she wuz goin’ to live with Susan. And I s’pose it +is so. She is a likely old woman with a milk leg. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Abram paid Ardelia lots of attention, sech as walkin’ home with her +from protracted meetin’s nights, and lookin’ at her durin’ +the meetin’s more protracted than the meetin’s wuz fur. And 3 times +he sent her a plate of riz biscuit sweetened, sweetened too sweet almost, he +went too fur in this and I see it. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, he done his part as well as his condition would let him, paralyzed by his +feelin’s—but she acted kinder offish, and I see that sonthin’ +wuz in the way. I mistrusted at first, it might be Abram’s incumbrance, +but durin’ a conversation I had with her, I see I wuz in the wrong +on’t. And I could see plain, though some couldn’t, that she liked +Abram as she did her eyes. Somebody run him down a little one day before me and +she sprouted right up and took his part voyalent. I could see her +feelin’s towards him though she wouldn’t own up to ’em. But +one day she came out plain to me and lamented his condition in life. Somebody +had attact her that day before me about marryin’ of him—and she +owned up to me, that she had laid out to marry somebody to elevate her. Some +one with a grand pure mission in life. +</p> + +<p> +And I spoke right up and sez, “Why bread is jest as pure and innocent as +anything can be, you won’t find anything wicked about good yeast bread, +nor,” sez I, cordially, “in milk risin’, if it is made +proper.” +</p> + +<p> +But she said she preferred a occupation that wuz risin’, and noble, and +that made a man necessary and helpful to the masses. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez agin—“Good land! the masses have got to eat. And I guess +you starve the masses a spell and they’ll think that good bread is as +necessary and helpful to ’em as anything can be. And as fer its +bein’ a risin’ occupation, why,” sez I, “it is stiddy +risen’—risin’ in the mornin,’ and risin’ at +night, and all night, both hop and milk emptin’s. Why,” sez I, +“I never see a occupation so risin’ as his’n is, both milk +and hop.” But she wouldn’t seem to give in and encourage him much +only by spells. +</p> + +<p> +And then Abram didn’t take the right way with her. I see he wuz a +goin’ just the wrong way to win a woman’s love. For his love, his +great honest love for her made him abject, he groveled at her feet, loved to +grovel. +</p> + +<p> +I told him, for he confided in me from the first on’t and bewailed her +coldness to me, I told him to sprout up and act as if he had some will of his +own and some independent life of his own. Sez I, “Any woman that sees a +man a layin’ around under her feet will be tempted to step on him,” +sez I. “I don’t see how she can help it, if she calcerlates to get +round any, and walk.” Sez I, “Sprout up and be somebody. She is a +good little creeter, but no better than you are, Abram; be a man.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image13.gif" height="329" width="256" alt="Abram" /> +</div> + +<p> +And he would try to be. I could see him try. But one of her soft little +glances, specially if it wuz kind and tender to him, es it wuz a good deal of +the time, why it would just overthrow him ag’in. He would collapse and +become nothin’ ag’in, before her. Why I have hearn him sing that +old him, a lookin’ right at Ardelia stiddy: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“Oh to be nothin’, nothin’!” +</p> + +<p> +And thinks I to myself, “if this keeps on, you are in a fairway to git +your wish.” +</p> + +<p> +He wuz a good singer, a beartone, and she a secent. They loved to sing +together. They needed some air, but then they got along without it; and it +sounded quite well, though rather low and deep. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, it run along for weeks and weeks, he with his hopes a risin’ up +sometimes like his yeast and then bein’ pounded down ag’in like his +bread, under the hard knuckles of a woman’s capricious cruelty. For I +must say that she did, for sech a soft littte creeter, have cold and cruel ways +to Abram. (But I s’pose it wuz when she got to thinkin’ about the +Prince, or some other genteel lover.) +</p> + +<p> +But her real feelin’s would break out once in a while, and lift him up to +the 3d heaven of happiness and then he’d have to totter and fall down +ag’in. Abram Gee had a hard time on’t. I pitied him from nearly the +bottom of my heart. But I still kep’ a thinkin’ it would turn out +well in the end. For it wuz jest about this time that I happened to find this +poetry in a book where she had, I s’posed, left it. And I read ’em, +almost entirely unbeknown to myself. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz wrote in a dreatful blind way but I recognized it at once. I looked +right through it, and see what she wuz a writin’ about though many +wouldn’t, it wuz wrote in sech a deep style. +</p> + +<p class="center"> +“STANZAS ON BREAD;<br/> +“ or<br/> +“ A LAY OF A BROKEN HEART. +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“Oh Bread, dear Bread, that seemest to us so cold,<br/> +Oft’times concealed thee within, may be a sting!<br/> +Sweet buried hopes may in thy crust be rolled;<br/> +A sad, burnt crust of deepest suffering.<br/> +<br/> +“There are some griefs the female soul don’t tell,<br/> +And she may weep, and she may wretched be;<br/> +Though she may like the name of Abram well<br/> +And she may not like dislike the name of G-,<br/> +<br/> +“Oh Fel Ambition, how thou lurest us on,<br/> +How by thy high, bold torch we’re stridin’ led:<br/> +Thou lurest us up, cold mountain top upon,<br/> +And seated by us there, thou scoffest at bread.<br/> +<br/> +“Thou lookest down, Ambition, on the ovens brim;<br/> +Thou brookest not a word of him save with contumalee:<br/> +And yet, wert thou afar, how sweet to set by him<br/> +And cut low slices of sweet joy with G—,<br/> +<br/> +“Oh! Fel Ambition, wert but thou away,<br/> +Could we thy hauntin’ form no more, nor see;<br/> +How sweet ’twould be to linger on with A—,<br/> +How sweet ’twould be to dwell for aye with G—.” +</p> + +<p> +Wall, as I say, she gin good satisfaction in the deestrict and I declare for +it, I got to likin’ her dretful well before the winter wuz over. Softer +she wuz, and had to be, than any fuz that was ever on any cotton flannel fur or +near. And more verses she wrote than wuz good for her, or for anybody +else,—Why she would write “Lines on the Tongs,” or +“Stanzas on the Salt Suller,” if she couldn’t do any better; +it beats all! And then she would read ’em to me to get my idees on +’em. Why I had to call on every martyr in the hull string of martyrs +sometimes to keep myself from tellin’ her my full mind about ’em +unbeknown to me. For, if I had, it would have skairt the soft little creeter +out of what little wit she had. +</p> + +<p> +So I kep’ middlin’ still, and see it go on. For she wuz a good +little soul, affectionate and kinder helpful. A good creeter now to find your +speks. Why she found ’em for me times out of number, and I got real +attached to her and visey versey. And when she came a visitin’ me in the +spring (at my request), and I happened to mention that Josiah and me laid out +to go to Saratoga for the summer, what did the soft little creeter want to do +but to go too. Her father was well off and wuz able to send her, and she had +relatives there on her own side, some of the Pixleys, so her board +wouldn’t cost nothin’. So it didn’t look nothin’ +unreasonable, though whether I could get her there and back without her +mashin’ all down on my hands, like a over ripe peach, she wuz that soft, +wuz a question that hanted me, and so I told Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +But Josiah kinder likes young girls (nothin’ light; a calm +meetin’-house affection), it is kinder nater that he should, and he sez: +“Better let her go, she won’t make much trouble.” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez I, “not to you, but if you had to set for hours and +hours and hear her verses read to you on every subject—on heaven, and +earth, and the seas, and see her a measurin’ of it with a stick to get +the lines the right length; if you had to go through all this, mebby you would +meditate on the subject before you took it for a summer’s job.” +</p> + +<p> +“ Wall,” sez he, “mebby she won’t write so much when +she gets started; she will be kinder jogged round and stirred up in body and +mebby her feelins’ will kinder rest. I shouldn’t wonder a mite if +they did,” sez he. “And then she can take a good many steps for +you, and I love to see you favored,” sez he. +</p> + +<p> +He wanted her to go, I see that, and I see that it wuz natur that he should, +and so I consented in my mind—after a parlay. +</p> + +<p> +She found his specks a sight and his hat. Nothin’ seemed to please her +better than to be gropin’ round after things to please somebody; her +disposition wuz such. So it wuz settled that she should accompany and go with +us. And the mornin’ we started she met us at the Jonesville Depot in good +sperits and a barege delaine dress, cream color, and a hat of the same. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image14.gif" height="296" width="366" alt="At the depot" /> +</div> + +<p> +I hadn’t seen her for some weeks, and she seemed softly tickled to see +Josiah and me, and asked a good many questions about Jonesville, kinder +turnin’ the conversation gradually round onto bread, as I could see. So I +branched right out, knowin’ what she wanted of me, and told her plain, +that “Abram Gee wuz a lookin’ kinder mauger. But doin’ his +duty <i>stiddy</i>,” sez I, lookin’ keenly at her, “a doin’ +his duty by everybody, and beloved by everybody, him and his bread too.” +</p> + +<p> +She turned her head away and kinder sithed, and I guess it wuz as much as a +quarter of a hour after that, that I see her take out a pencil and a piece of +paper out of her portmonny, and a little stick, and she went to makin’ +some verses, a measurin’ ’em careful as she wrote ’em, and +when she handed ’em to me they wuz named +</p> + +<p class="center"> +“A LAY ON A CAR;<br/> +“ or<br/> +“THE LESSON OF A LOCOMOTIVE.” +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“Oh cars that bearest us on; oh cars that run<br/> +If backward thou didst go, we should not near<br/> +The place we started for at break of sun;<br/> +The place we love, with love devout, sincere.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh! snortin’ Engine, didst thou not so snort<br/> +Thou wouldst not start, and lo! we see—<br/> +Our sorrows’ hidden griefs, they do not come for nort<br/> +They start the Locomotive, Life, with screechin’ agony<br/> +<br/> +“Oh passengers that wail, and dread the screech,<br/> +Wail not; but lift eyes o’er the chimney top<br/> +As they bend over the Locomotive; beach<br/> +Thy hopes on fairer shores, a sweeter crop.”<br/> +</p> + +<p> +After I had read it and handed it back to her, she sez, “Don’t you +think I improve on the melody and rhythm of my poetry? I take this little stick +with me now wherever I go, and measure my lines by it. They are jest of a +length, I am very particular; you know you advised me to be.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez I mechaniklly, “but I didn’t mean jest +that.” Sez I, “the poetry I wuz a thinkin’ on, is measured by +the soul, the enraptured throb of heart and brain; it don’t need +takin’ a stick to it. Howsumever,” sez I, for I see she looked sort +a disapinted, “howsumever, if you have measured ’em, they are +probable about the same length: it is a good sound stick, I haint no +doubt;” and I kinder sithed. +</p> + +<p> +And she sez, “What do you think of the first verse? Haint that verse as +true as fate, or sadness, or anything else you know of?” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh yes,” sez I candidly, “yes; if the cars run backwards we +shouldn’t go on; that is true as anything can be. But if I wuz in your +place, Ardelia,” sez I, “I wouldn’t write any more to-day. It +is a kind of muggy damp day. It is a awfully bad day for poetry to-day. +And,” sez I, to get her mind offen it, “Have you seen anything of +my companion’s specks?” +</p> + +<p> +And that took her mind offen poetry and she went a huntin’ for ’em, +on the seat and under the seat. She hunted truly high and low and at last she +found ’em on my pardner’s foretop, the last place any of us thought +of lookin’. And she never said another word about poetry, or any other +trouble, nor I nuther. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image15.gif" height="221" width="356" alt="Cupid" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap05"></a>Chapter V.<br/> +WE ARRIVE AT SARATOGA.</h2> + +<p> +We arrived at Saratoga jest as sunset with a middlin’ gorgeous dress on +wuz a walkin’ down the west and a biddin’ us and the earth +good-bye. There wuz every color you could think on almost, in her gown and some +stars a shinin’ through the floatin’ drapery and a half moon +restin’ up on her cloudy foretop like a beautiful orniment. +</p> + +<p> +(I s’pose mebby it is proper to describe sunset in this way on +goin’ to such a dressy place, though it haint my style to do so, I +don’t love to describe sunset as a female and don’t, much of the +time, but I love to see things correspond.) +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we descended from the cars and went to the boardin’ place provided +for us beforehand by the look out of friends. It wuz a good place, there haint +no doubt of that, good folks; good fare and clean. +</p> + +<p> +Ardelia parted away from us at the depo. She wuz a goin’ to board to a +smaller boardin’ house kep’ by a second cousin of her +father’s brother’s wife’s aunt. It wuz her father’s +request that she should get her board there on account of its bein’ in +the family. He loved “to see relations hang together;” so he said, +and “get their boards of each other.” But I thought then, and I +think now, that it wuz because they asked less for the board. Deacon Tutt is +close. But howsumever Ardelia went there, and my companion and me arrove at the +abode where we wuz to abide, with no eppisode only the triflin’ one of +the driver bein’ dretful mistook as to the price he asked to take us +there. +</p> + +<p> +I thought, and Josiah thought, that 50 cents wuz the outlay of expendatur he +required to carry us where we would be; it wuz but a short distance. But no! He +said that 5 dollars wuz what he said, that is, if we heard anything about a 5. +But he thought we wuz deef, and dident hear him. He thought he spoke plain, and +said 4 dollars for the trip. +</p> + +<p> +And on that price he sot down immovible. They arged, and Josiah Allen even went +so far as to use language that grated on my nerve, it wuz so voyalent and +vergin’ on the profane. But there the man sot, right onto that price, and +he had to me the appeerance of one who wuz goin’ to sot there on it all +night. And so rather than to spend the night out doors, in conversation with +him, he a settin’ on that price, and Josiah a shakin’ his fist at +it, and a jawin’ at it, I told Josiah that he had better pay it. And +finally he did, with groanin’s that could hardly be uttered. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image16.gif" height="287" width="465" alt="They argued" /> +</div> + +<p> +Wall, after supper (a good supper and enough on’t), Josiah proposed that +we should take a short walk, we two alone, for Ardelia wuz afar from us, most +to the other end of the village, either asleep or a writin’ poetry, I +didn’t know which, but I knew it wuz one or the other of ’em. And I +wuz tired enough myself to lay my head down and repose in the arms of sleep, +and told my companion so, but he said: +</p> + +<p> +“Oh shaw! Let old Morpheus wait for us till we get back, there’ll +be time enough to rest then.” +</p> + +<p> +Josiah felt so neat, that he wuz fairly beginnin’ to talk high learnt, +and classical. But I didn’t say nothin’ to break it up, and tied on +my bonnet with calmness (and a double bow knot) and we sallied out. +</p> + +<p> +Soon, or mebby a little after, for we didn’t walk fast on account of my +deep tucker, we stood in front of what seemed to be one hull side of a long +street, all full of orniments and open work, and pillows, and flowers, and +carvin’s, and scallops, and down between every scollop hung a big basket +full of posys, of every beautiful color under the heavens. And over all, and +way back as fur as we could see, wuz innumerable lights of every color, +gorgeousness a shinin’ down on gorgeousness, glory above, a shinin’ +down on glory below. And sweet strains of music wuz a floatin, out from +somewhere, a shinin’ somewhere, renderin’ the seen fur more +beautiful to all 4 of our wraptured ears. +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah sez, as we stood there nearly rooted to the place by our motions, +and a picket fence, sez he dreamily, +</p> + +<p> +“I almost feel as if we had made a mistake, and that this is the land of +Beuler.” And he murmured to himself some words of the old him: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“Oh Beuler land! Sweet Beuler land!” +</p> + +<p> +And I whispered back to him and sez—“Hush they don’t have brass +bands in Beulah land.” +</p> + +<p> +And he sez, “How do you know what they have in Beuler?” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “’taint likely they do.” +</p> + +<p> +But I don’t know as I felt like blamin’ him, for it did seem to me +to be the most beautiful place that I ever sot my eyes on. And it did seem +fairly as if them long glitterin’ chains and links of colored lights, a +stretchin’ fur back into the distance sort a begoned for us to enter into +a land of perfect beauty and Pure Delight. +</p> + +<p> +And then them glitterin’ chains of light would jine onto other golden, +and crimson, and orange, and pink, and blue, and amber links of glory and hang +there all drippin’ with radiance, and way back as fur as we could see. +And away down under the shinin’ lanes the white statues stood, beautiful +snow-white females, a lookin’ as if they enjoyed it all. And the lake +mirrowed back all of the beauty. +</p> + +<p> +Right out onto the lake stood a fairy-like structure all glowin’ with big +drops of light and every glitterin’ drop reflected down in the water and +the fountain a sprayin’ up on each side. Why it sprayed up floods of +diamonds, and rubys, and sapphires, and topazzes, and turkeys, and pearls, and +opals, and sparklin’ ’em right back into the water agin. +</p> + +<p> +And right while we stood there, neerly rooted to the spot and gazin’ +through extacy and 2 pickets, the band gin a loud burst of melody and then +stopped, and after a minute of silence, we hearn a voice angel-sweet a +risin’ up, up, like a lark, a tender-hearted, golden-throated lark. +</p> + +<p> +High, high above all the throngs of human folks who wuz cheerin’ her down +below - up above the sea of glitterin’ light - up above the bendin’ +trees that clasped their hands together in silent applaudin’ above her, +up, up, into the clear heavens, rose that glorious voice a singin’ some +song about love, love that wuz deathless, eternal. +</p> + +<p> +Why it seemed as if the very clouds wuz full of shadowy faces a bendin’ +down to hear it, and the new moon, shaped just like a boat, had glided down, +down the sky to listen. +</p> + +<p> +If the man of the moon was there he wuz a layin’ in the bottom of the +boat, he wuzn’t in sight. But if he heard that music I’ll bet he +would say he wuzn’t in the practice of hearin’ any better. And +Josiah stood stun still till she had got done, and then he sort a sithed out: +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, it seems as if it must be Beuler land! Do you s’pose, +Samantha, Beuler land is any more beautiful?” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “I haint a thinkin’ about Beulah.” I sez it pretty +middlin’ tart, partly to hide my own feelin’s, which wuz perfectly +rousted up, and partly from principle, and sez I, “Don’t for +mercy’s sake call it Beuler.” +</p> + +<p> +Josiah always will call it so. I’ve got a 4th cousin, Beulah Smith (my +own age and unmarried up to date), and he always did and would call her Beuler. +Truly in some things a pardner’s influence and encouragement fails to +accomplish the ends aimed at. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, it wuz after some words that I drew Josiah away from that seen of +enchantment - or he me, I don’t exactly know which way it wuz - and we +wended onwards in our walk. +</p> + +<p> +The hull broad streets wuz full of folks, full as they could be, all on +’em perfect strangers to us and who knew what motives or weapons they wuz +a carryin’ with ’em; but we knew we wuz safe, Josiah and me did, +for way up over all our heads, stood a big straight soldier, a volunteer +volunteerin, to see to the hull crew on ’em below, a seein’ that +they behaved themselves. His age wuz seventy-seven as near as I could make out +but he didn’t look more’n half that. He had kep’ his age +remarkable. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image17.gif" height="310" width="321" alt="The soldier" /> +</div> + +<p> +Wall, it wuz, if I remember right, jest about now that we see a +glitterin’ high up over our heads some writen in flame. I never see such +brilliant writin, before nor don’t know as I ever shall ag’in. +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah stopped stun still, and stood a lookin’ perfectly dumfoundered +at it. And finally he sez, “I’d give a dollar bill if I could write +like that.” +</p> + +<p> +I see he wuz deeply rousted up for 2 cents is as high as he usually goes in +betted. I see he felt deep and I didn’t blame him. Why,” sez he, +“jest imagine, Samantha, a hull letter wrote like that! how I’d +love to send one back to Uncle Nate Gowdey. +</p> + +<p> +“How Uncle Nate’s eyes would open, and he wouldn’t want no +spectacles nor nothin’ to read it with, would he? I wonder if I could do +it,” sez he, a beginnin’ to be all rousted up. +</p> + +<p> +But I sez, “Be calm,” for so deep is my mind that I grasped the +difficuties of the undertaken’ at once. “How could yon send it, +Josiah Allen? Where would you get a envelop? How could you get it into the mail +bag?” Sez I, “When anybody would send a letter wrote like that, +they would want to write it on sheets of lightnin’, and fold it up in the +envelopin’ clouds of the skies, and it should be received by a +kneelin’ and reverent soul. Who is Uncle Nate that he should get it? He +has not a reverent Soul and he has also rheumatiz in his legs.” +</p> + +<p> +And then I thought, so quick and active is my mind when it gets to +startin’ off on a tower, I thought of what I had hearn a few days before, +of how the secret had been learnt by somebody who lived right there in the +village, of floatin’ letters up at sea from one ship to another, +sigualin’ out in letters of flame - +</p> + +<p> +“Help! I’m a sinkin’!” or “Danger ahead! Look +out!” +</p> + +<p> +And I thought what it must be to stand on a dusky night on a lone deck and see +up on the broad, dark; lonesome sky above, a sudden message, a flash of vivid +lightnin’, takin’ to itself the form of language. And I wondered to +myself if in the future we should use the great pages of the night-sky to write +messages from one city to another, or from sea to land, of danger and +warnin’; and then I thought to myself, if souls clog-bound to earth are +able to accomplish so much, who knows but the freed soul goin’ outward +and onward from height to height of wisdom may yet be able to signal down from +the Safe Land messages of help and warnin’ to the souls it loved below. +</p> + +<p> +The souls a sailin’ and a driftin’ through the dark night of +despair - a dashin’ along through fog and mist and darkness aginst rocks. +What it would be to one kneelin’ in the lonesome night watches by a +grave, if the dark sky could grow luminous and he could read, - “Do not +despair! I am alive! I love you!” +</p> + +<p> +Or, in the hour of the blackest temptation and dread, when the earth is hollow +and the sky a black vault, and the only way of happiness on God’s earth +seems down the dangerous, beautiful way, God-forbidden, what would it be to +have the empty vault lit up with “Danger ahead! We will help you! be +patient a little longer!” +</p> + +<p> +Oh how fur my thoughts wuz a travellin’, and at what a good jog, but not +one trace did my companion see on my forward of these thoughts that wuz a +passin’ through my foretop: and at that very minute, we came up nigh +enough to see that right back of the glitterin’ language overhead, went a +long line of big, glowin’ stars of glory way up over our heads, and +leadin’ down a gentle declivity and Josiah sez, “Let’s foller +on, and see what it will lead us to, Samantha.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “light is pretty generally, safe to foller, +Josiah Allen.” And so we meandered along, keepin’ our 2 heads as +nigh as we could under that long glitterin’ chain of golden drops that +wuz high overhead. And on, and on, we follered it dilligently; till for the +land’s sake! if it didn’t lead us to another one of them openwork +buildin’s, fixed off beautiful, and we could see inside 2 big wells like, +with acres of floor seemin’ly on each side of ’em, and crowds of +folks a walkin’ about and settin’ at little tables and most all of +’em a drinkin’. +</p> + +<p> +The water they drinked we could see wuz a bubblin’ up and a runnin’ +over all the time, in big round crystal globes. And up, up on a slender pole +way up over one of the wells hung another one of them crystal bowls, a +bubblin’ over with the water and sparklin’. +</p> + +<p> +And ag’in Josiah asked me if I thought Beuler land could compare with it? +</p> + +<p> +And I told him ag’in kinder sharp, That I wuzn’t a thinkin’ +about Beuler, I didn’t know any sech a place or name. I wish he would +call things right. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, he wuz so dead tired by this time, that we sot sail homewards; that is, +my feet wuz tired, and my bones, but my mind seemed more rousted up than +common. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image18.gif" height="259" width="264" alt="Josiah" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap06"></a>Chapter VI.<br/> +SARATOGA BY DAYLIGHT.</h2> + +<p> +Wall, the next mornin’ Josiah and me sallied out middlin’ early to +explore still further the beauties and grandness of Saratoga. I had on a black +straw bonnet, a green vail, and a umbrell. I also have my black alpacky, that +good moral dress. +</p> + +<p> +My dress bein’ such a high mission one choked me. It wuz so high in the +neck it held my chin up in a most uncomfortable position, but sort a grand and +lofty lookin’. My sleeves wuz so long that more’n half the time my +hand wuz covered up by ’em and I wuz too honerable to wear ’em for +mits; no, in the name of principle I wore ’em for sleeves, good long +sleeves, a pattern to other grandmas that I might meet. +</p> + +<p> +I felt that when they see me and see what I wuz a doin’ and +endurin’ fur the cause of female dressin’ they would pause in their +wild career, and cover up their necks and pull their sleeves down. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, it haint to be expected that I could walk along carryin’ such hefty +emotions as I wuz a carryin’, and havin’ my neck held high and +stiddy both by principle and alpacky, and see to every step I wuz a +takin’. And, first I knew, right while I was enjoyin’ the loftiest +of these emotions, I ketched my foot in sunthin’, and most fell down. +Instinctively (such is the power of love) I put out my hand and clutched at the +arm of my pardner. But he too wuz nearly fallin’ at the same time. It wuz +a narrow chance that we wuz a runnin’ from having our prostrate forms a +layin’ there outstretched on the highway. +</p> + +<p> +Instinctively I sez, “Good land!” and Josiah sez—wall, it is +fur from me to tell what he said, but it ended up with these words, “Dumb +them dumb sidewalks anyway;” and sez he, “I should think it would +pay to have a little less gilt paint and spangles and orniments overhead and a +few more solid bricks unless they want more funerals here, dumb +’em!” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I,”Be calm! who be you a talkin’ about? who do you want to +bring down your fearful curses on, Josiah Allen?” +</p> + +<p> +“Why, onto the dumb bricks,” sez he. +</p> + +<p> +He wuz agitated and I said no more. But four times in that first walk, did I +descend almost precipitously into declivities amongst the bricks, risin’ +simultaneously on similar elevations. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a fearful ordeel and I felt it so, but upheld by principle and Josiah, I +moved onwards, through what seemed to be 5 great throngs and masses of people, +3 on the ground and 2 hinted up above us on tall pillows. +</p> + +<p> +Them immense places overhead long as the streets, wuz kinder scalloped out and +trimmed off handsum with railin’s, etc. And on it—oh! what a vast +congregation of heads of all sorts and sizes and colors. And oh! what a immense +display of parasols; why no parasol store in the land could begin with what I +see there. +</p> + +<p> +I can truly say that I thought I knew somethin’ about parasols;, +havin’ owned 3 different ones in the course of my life, and havin’ +one covered over. I thought I knew somethin’ of their nater and habits, +which is a good deal, so I had always s’posed, like a umbrell’s. +But good land! I gin up that I knew them not, nor never had. +</p> + +<p> +Why anybody could learn more on ’em through one jerney down that street, +than from a hull lifetime in Jonesville. Truly travel is very upliftin’ +and openin’ and spreadin’ out to the mind, both in parasols and +human nater. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, them 2 masses over our heads wuz 2, then the one in which we wuz a +strugglin’ and the one opposite to it made 4. For anybody with any +pretence to learnin’ knows that twice 2 is 4. And then in the middle of +the broad street was a bigger mass of chariots and horsemen, and carts and +carriages, and great buggies and little ones, and big loads of barrels, and big +loads of ladies, and then a load of wood, and then a load of hay, and then a +pair of young folks pretty as a picture. And then came some high big coaches as +big as our spare bedroom, and as high as the roof on our horse barn, with six +horses hitched to e’m, all runnin’ over on top with men; and +wimmen, and children, and parasols, and giggles, and ha ha’s. And a man +wuz up behind a soundin’ out on a trumpet, a dretful sort of a high, +sweet note, not dwindlin’ down to the end as some music duz, but kinder +crinklin’ round and endin’ up in the air every time. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah wuz dretful took with it and he told me in confidence that he laid out +when he got home to buy a trumpet and blow out jest them strains every time he +went into Jonesville or out of it. He said it would sound so sort a warlike and +impressive. +</p> + +<p> +I expostulated aginst the idee. But sez he, “You’ll enjoy it when +you get used to it.” +</p> + +<p> +“Never!” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes you will,” sez he, “and while I live I lay out that you +shall have advantages, and shall enjoy things new and uneek.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez I feelin’ly, “I expect to, Josiah Allen, as +long as I live with you.” And I sithed. But I had little time to enjoy +even sithin’, for oh! the crowd that wuz a pressin’ onto us and +surroundin’ us on every side, some on ’em curius and strange +lookin’, some on ’em beautiful and grand. Pretty young girls +lookin’ sweet enough to kiss, and right behind ’em a Chinese man +with a long dress, and wooden shoes, and his hair in a long braid behind, and +his eyes sot in sideways. And then would come on a hull lot of wimmen in +dresses ev’ry color of the rainbow, and some men. Then a few childern, +lookin’ sweet as roses, with their mothers a pushin’ the little +carts ahead on ’em. And if you’ll believe it, I don’t +s’pose you will, but it is true, that lots of black ma’s had +childern jest as white as snow, and pretty as rosebuds, took after their +fathers I s’pose. But I don’t believe in a mixin’ of the +races. And when I see ’em a kissin’ the pretty babys, I begun to +muse a very little on the feelin’s of the indignent South, at +havin’ a colered girl set in the same car with ’em, or on a bench +in the same school room. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image19.gif" height="296" width="386" alt="Black Ma’s" /> +</div> + +<p> +I mewsed on how they held the white forms clost to their black breasts at +birth, and in the hour of death—the black lips pressed to the white +cheeks and lips, in both cases. And all the way between life and death they +mingle clost as they can, some in some cases like the hill of knowledge. Then +the contact is too clost, when they sot out to climb up by ’em. Truly +there are deep conundrums and strange ones, all along through life; though the +white man may be, and is, cleer up out of his way, on the sunshiny brow of the +hill, and the black man at the foot, way down amongst the shadows and darkness +of the low grounds. They don’t come very nigh each other. But the arms +that have felt the clasp and the lips that have felt the kisses of that very +same black climber all through life, moves ’em and shouts ’em to +“go down,” to “go back,” +</p> + +<p> +“The contact is getting too clost, danger is ahead.” Curious, haint +it? Jest as if any danger is so dangerous as ignorance and brutality. Curious, +haint it? But I am a eppisodin’, and to resoom. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, right after the babies we’d meet a Catholic priest with a calm and +fur away look on his face, a lookin’ at the crowd as if he wuz in it, but +not of it. And then a burgler, mebby, anyway a mean lookin’ creeter, +ragged and humble. And then 2 or 3 men foreign lookin’, jabberin’ +in a tongue I know nothin’ of, nor Josiah either. And then some more +childern, and wimmen, and dogs, and parasols, and men, and babies, and Injuns, +and Frenchmen, and old young wimmen, and young old ones, and handsome ones, and +hombly ones, and parasols, and some sweet young girls ag’in, and some +black men, and some white men, and some more wimmen, and parasols, and silk, +and velvet, and lace, and puckers, and raffles, and gethers, and gores, and +flowers, and feathers, and fringes, and frizzles, and then some men, some +Southerners from the South, some Westerners from the West, some Easterners from +the East, and some Cubebs from Cuba, and some Chinamen from China. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! what a seen! What a seen! back and forth, passin’ and +repassin’, to and fro, parasols, and dogs, and wimmen, and men, and +babies, and parasols, to and fro, to and fro. Why, if I stood there long so +crazed would I have become at the seen, that I should have felt that Josiah wuz +a To and I wuz a Fro, or I wuz a parasol and he wuz a dog. +</p> + +<p> +And to prevent that fearful catastrophe, I sez, “If we ever get beyond +this side of the village that seems all run together, if we ever do get beyond +it, which seems doubtful, le’s go and sit down, in some quiet spot, and +try to collect our scattered minds.” Sez I, “I feel curius, Josiah +Allen!” and sez I, “How do you feel?” +</p> + +<p> +His answer I will not translate; it was neither Biblical nor even moral. And I +sez agin, “Hain’t it strange that they have the village all run +together with no streets turnin’ off of it.” Sez I, “It makes +me feel queer, Josiah Allen, and I am a goin’ to enquire into it.” +So we wended our way some further on amongst the dense crowd I have spoken of, +only more crowded and more denser, and anon, if not oftener, Josiah’s +head would be scooped in by passin’ parasols, and then in low, deep +tones, Josiah would use words that I wouldn’t repeat for a dollar bill, +till at last I asked a by bystander a standin’ by, and sez I, “Is +this village all built together—don’t you have no streets a +turnin’ off of it?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez he, “you’ll find a street jest as soon as +you get by this hotel.” +</p> + +<p> +I stopped right in my tracts; I wuz dumbfoundered. Sez I, “Do you mean to +say that this hull side of the street that we have been a traversin’ +anon, or long before anon,—do you say that this is all one +buildin’?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes mom,” sez he. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, in faint axents, “When shall we get to the end on it?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “You have come jest about half way.” +</p> + +<p> +Josiah gin a deep groan and turned him round in his tracts and sez, +“Le’s go back this minute.” +</p> + +<p> +I too thought of the quiet haven from whence we had set out, with a deep +longin’, but sech is the force and strength of my mind that I grasped +holt of the situation and held it there tight. If we wuz half way across it +wouldn’t be no further to go on than it would to go back. Such wuz my +intellect that I see it to once, but Josiah’s mind couldn’t grasp +it, and with words murmured in my ears which I will never repeat to a +livin’ soul he wended on by my side through the same old +crowd—parasols, and wimmen, and dogs, and babies, and men, and parasols, +and Injuns, and Spanards, and Creoles, and pretty girls, and old wimmen, and +puckers, and gethers, and bracelets, and diamonds, and lace, and parasols. +Several times, if not more, wuz Josiah Allen scooped in by a parasol held by a +female, and I felt he wuz liable to be torn from me. His weight is but small. 3 +times his hat fell off in the operation and wuz reskued with difficulty, and he +spoke words I blush to recall as havin’ passed my pardner’s lips. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, in the fullness of time, or a little after, for truly I wuz not in a +condition to sense things much, we arrove at a street and we gladly turned our +2 frames into it, and wended our way on it, goin’ at a pretty good jog. +The crowd a growin’ less and less and we kep a goin’, and kep a +goin’, till Josiah sez in weary axents: +</p> + +<p> +“Where be you a goin’, Samantha? Haint you never goin’ to +stop? I am fairly tuckered out.” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez in faint axents, “I would fain reach a land where parasols and +puckers are not and dogs and diamonds are no more.” +</p> + +<p> +I wuz middlin’ incoherent from my agitation. But I meant well. I wuz +truly in hopes I would reach some quiet place where Josiah and me could set +down alone. Where I could look in quiet and repose upon that dear bald head, +and recooperate my strength. +</p> + +<p> +We went by beautiful places, grand houses of different colors but every one on +’em good lookin’ ones, a settin’ back amongst their green +trees, with shady grass-covered yards, and fountains and flower beds in front +of ’em, and more grand handsome houses, and more big beautiful yards, +green velvet grass and beautiful flowers and fountains, and birds and beauty on +every side on us. +</p> + +<p> +And though I felt and knew that in them big carriages that was a passin’ +2 and fro all the time, though I felt that parasols, and puckers, and laces, +and dogs, and diamonds, wuz a bein’ borne past me all the time, yet sech +is the force of my mind that I could withdraw my specks from ’em, and +look at the beautiful works of nater (assisted by man) that wuz about me on +every hand. +</p> + +<p> +Finally my long search wuz rewarded, we came to a big open gateway that seemed +to lead into a large, quiet delightful forest. And in that lovely, lonesome +place, Josiah and me sot down to recooperate our 2 energies. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah looked good to me. Men are nice creeters, but you don’t want to +see too meny of ’em to once, likeways with wimmen. Josiah looked to me at +that moment some like a calico dress that you have picked out of a dense +quantity of patterns of calico at a store, it looks better to you when you get +it away from the rest. Josiah Allen looked good to me. +</p> + +<p> +But anon, after I had bathed my distracted eyes (as you may say) in the +liniment of my pardner, I began to take in the rare beauty of the seen laid out +before me and we arose and wended our way onwards peaceful and serene, as 2 +childern led on by their mother. +</p> + +<p> +Dear Mother Nature! how dost thou rest and soothe thy distracted childern when +too hardly used by the grindin’, oppressive hands of fashion,and the +weerisome elements of a too civilized life. Maybe thou art a heathen mother, +oneducated and ignorant in all but the wisdom of love, but thy bosom is soft +and restful, and thy arms lovin’ and tender. And, heathen if thou art, we +love thee first and at last. We are glad to slip out of all the vain and gilded +supports that have held us weerily up, and lay down our tired heads on thy +kindly and unquestionin’ bosom and rest. +</p> + +<p> +As we rose from the soft turf, on which we had been a restin’, and +meandered on through that beautiful park, (so tenderly had nature used him,) +not one trace of the wild commotion that had almost rent Josiah Allen’s +breast, could be seen save one expirin’ threeoh of agony. As we started +out ag’in, he looked down onto my faithful umberell, that had stiddied me +on so many towers of principle, and sez he, in low concentrated axents of skern +and bitterness, “If that wuz a dumb parasol, Samantha, I would crush it +to the earth and grind it to atoms.” +</p> + +<p> +Truly he could not forget how his bald head had been gethered in like a ripe +sheaf, by 7 females, during that very walk, hombly ones too, so it had +happened. But I sez nothin’ in reply to this expirin’ note of the +crysis he had passed through, knowin’ this was not the time for silver +speech but for golden silence, and so we meandered onwards. +</p> + +<p> +And it wuz anon that we see in the distance a fair white female a +standin’ kinder still in the edge of the woods, and Josiah spoke in a +seemin’ly careless way, and sez he, “She don’t seem to have +many clothes on, Samantha.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Hush, Josiah! she has probably overslept herself, and come out in +a hurry, mebby to look for some herbs or sunthin’. I persoom one of her +childern are sick, and she sprung right up out of bed, and come out to get some +weather-wort, or catnip, or sunthin’.” +</p> + +<p> +And as I spoke I drawed Josiah down a side path away from her. But he stopped +stun still and sez he, “Mebby I ought to go and help her Samantha.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Josiah Allen, sense I lived with you, I don’t think I have +been shamder of you;” sez I, “it would mortify her to death if she +should <i>mistrust</i> you had seen her in that condition.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he, still a hangin’ back, “if the child is +very sick, and I can be any help to her, it is my duty to go.” +</p> + +<p> +His eye had been on her nearly every moment of the time, in spite of my almost +voyalent protests, and sez he, kinder excited like, “She is +standin’ stun still, as if she is skarit; mebby there is a snake in front +of her or sunthin’, or mebby she is took paralysed, I’d better go +and see.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, in low, deep axents, “You stay where you be, Josiah Allen, and I +will go forward, bein’ 2 females together, it is what it is right to do +and if we need your help I will holler.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image20.gif" height="299" width="467" alt="Woman in the woods" /> +</div> + +<p> +And finally he consented after a parlay. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, as I got up to her I see she wuzn’t a live, meat woman, but a +statute and so I hastened back to my Josiah and told him there wuzn’t no +need of his help and he wuz in the right on’t—she wuz stun +still.” +</p> + +<p> +He said he guessed we’d better go that way. And I sez, “No, Josiah, +I want to go round by the other road.” +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we got back to our abode perfectly tuckered out, but perfectly happy. And +we concluded that after dinner we would set out and see the different springs +and partake of ’em. Had it not been for our almost frenzied haste to get +away from parasols and dogs and destraction into a place of rest we should have +beheld them sooner. And our afternoon’s adventures I will relate in +another epistol. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image21.gif" height="281" width="399" alt="crowed street" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap07"></a>Chapter VII.<br/> +SEEING THE DIFFERENT SPRINGS.</h2> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image22.gif" height="286" width="385" alt="Taking a walk" /> +</div> + +<p> +Immegeatly after dinner (a good one) Josiah Allen, Ardelia Tutt and me sot out +to view and look at the different springs and to partake of the same. We +hadn’t drinked a drop of it as yet. Ardelia had come over to go with us. +She had on a kind of a yellowish drab dress and a hat made of the same, with +some drab and blue bows of ribbon and some pink holly-hawks in it, and she had +some mits on (her hands prespired dretfully, and she sweat easy). As I have +said, she is a good lookin’ girl but soft. And most any dress she puts on +kinder falls into the same looks. It may be quite a hard lookin’ dress +before she puts it on, but before she has wore it half a hour it will kinder +crease down into the softest lookin, thing you ever see. And so with her +bonnets, and mantillys, and everything. +</p> + +<p> +The down onto a goslin’s breast never looked softer than every rag she +had on this very afternoon, and no tender goslin’ itself wuz ever softer +than she wuz on the inside on’t. But that didn’t hinder my +likin’ her. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, anon, or a little before, we came to that long, long buildin’, +beautiful and dretful ornimental, but I could see plain by daylight what I had +mistrusted before, that it wuzn’t built for warmth. It must be dretful +cold in the winter, and I don’t see how the wimmen folks of the home +could stand it, unless they hang up bed quilts and blankets round the side, and +then, I should think they would freeze. They couldn’t keep their house +plants over winter any way - and I see they had sights of ’em - unless +they kep’ ’em down suller. +</p> + +<p> +But howsumever, that is none of my lookout. If they want to be so fashionable, +as to try to live out doors and in the house too, that is none of my business. +And of course it looked dretful ornimental and pretty. But I will say this, it +haint bein’ mejum. I should rather live either out doors, or in the +house, one of the 2. But I am a eppisodin’. And to resoom. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah Allen paid the money demanded of him and we went in and advanced onwards +to where a boy wuz a pullin’ up the water and handin’ of it round. +</p> + +<p> +It looked dretful bubblin’ and sparklin’. Why sunthin’ seemed +to be a sparklin’ up all the time in the water and I thought to myself +mebby it wuz water thoughts, mebby it wanted to tell sunthin’, mebby it +has all through these years been a tryin’ to bubble up and sparkle out in +wisdom but haint found any one yet who could understand its liquid language. +Who knows now? +</p> + +<p> +I took my glass and looked close - sparkle, sparkle, up came the tiny thought +sparks! But I wuzn’t wise enough to read the glitterin’ language. +No I wuzn’t deep enough. It would take a deep mind, mebby thousands of +feet deep, to understand the great glowin’ secret that it has been a +tryin’ to reveal and couldn’t. Mebby it has been a tryin’ to +tell of big diamond mines that it has passed through - great cliffs and crags +of gold sot deep with the crystalized dew of diamonds. +</p> + +<p> +But no, I didn’t believe that wuz it. That wouldn’t help the world, +only to make it happier, and these seemed to me to be dretful inspirin’, +upliftin’ thoughts. No, mebby it is a tryin’ to tell a cold world +about a way to heat it. Mebby it has been a runnin’ over and is +sparklin’ with bright thoughts about how deep underneath the earth lay a +big fireplace, that all the cold beggars of mortality could set round and warm +<i>their</i> frozen fingers by,—a tryin’ to tell how the heat of that fire +that escapes now up the chimbleys of volcanoes, and sometimes in sudden drafts +blows out sideways into earthquakes, etc., could be utilized by conveyin’ +it up on top of the ground, and have it carried into the houses like Croton +water. Who knows now? Mebby that is it! +</p> + +<p> +Oh! I felt that it would be a happy hour for Samantha when she could bile her +potatoes by the heat of that large noble fire-place. And more than that, far +more wuz the thought that heat might become, in the future, as cheap as cold. +That the little cold hands that freeze every winter in the big cities, could be +stretched out before the big generous warmth of that noble fire-place. And who +built that fire in the first place? Who laid the first sticks on the handirons, +and put the match to it? Who wuz it that did it, and how did he look, and when +wuz he born, and why, and where? +</p> + +<p> +These, and many other thoughts of similar size and shape, filled my brane +almost full enough to lift up the bunnet, that reposed gracefully on my +foretop, as I stood and held the sparklin’ glass in my hands. +</p> + +<p> +Sparkle! sparkle! sparkle! what wuz it, it wuz a tryin’ to say to me and +couldn’t? Good land! I couldn’t tell, and Josiah couldn’t, I +knew instinctively he couldn’t, though I didn’t ask him. +</p> + +<p> +No, I turned and looked at that beloved man, for truly I had for the time +bein’ been by the side of myself, and I see that he wuz a drinkin’ +lavishly of the noble water. I see that he wuz a drinkin’ more than wuz +for his good, his linement showed it, and sez I, for he wuz a liftin’ +another tumbler full onto his lips, sez I, “Pause, Josiah Allen, and +don’t imbibe too much.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image23.gif" height="331" width="199" alt="Taking the water" /> +</div> + +<p> +“Why,” he whispered, “you can drink all you are a mind to for +5 cents. I am bound for once, Samantha Allen, to get the worth of my +money.” +</p> + +<p> +And he drinked the tumbler full down at one swoller almost, and turned to the +weary boy for another. He looked bad, and eager, and sez I, “How many +have you drinked?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, in a eager, animated whisper, “9.” And he whispered in the +same axents, “5 times 9 is 45 ; if it had been to a fair, or Fourth of +July, or anything, it would have cost me 45 cents, and if it had been to a +church social - lemme see - 9 times 10 is 90. It would have cost me a dollar +bill! And here I am a havin’ it all for 5 cents. Why,” sez he, +“I never see the beat on’t in my life.” +</p> + +<p> +And ag’in he drinked a tumbler full down, and motioned to the frightened +boy for another. +</p> + +<p> +But I took him by the vest and whispered to him, sez I, “Josiah Allen, do +you want to die, because you can die cheap? Why,” sez I, “it will +kill you to drink so much.” +</p> + +<p> +“But think of the cheapness on’t Samantha! The chance I have of +getting the worth of my money.” +</p> + +<p> +But I whispered back to him in anxus axents and told him, that I guessed if +funeral expenses wuz added to that 5 cents it wouldn’t come so cheap, and +sez I, “you wont live through many more glasses, and you’ll see you +wont. Why,” sez I, “you are a drowndin’ out your +insides.” +</p> + +<p> +He wuz fairly a gettin’ white round the mouth, and I finally got him to +withdraw, though he looked back longingly at the tumblers and murmured even +after I had got him to the door, that it wuz a dumb pity when anybody got a +chance to get the worth of their money, which wuzn’t often, to think they +couldn’t take advantage on it. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez back to him in low deep axents, “There is such a thing as +bein’ too graspin’, Josiah Allen.” Sez I, “The children +of Israel used to want to lay up more manny than they wanted or needed, and it +spilte on their hands.” And sez I, “you see if it haint jest so +with you; you have been in too great haste to enrich yourself, and you’ll +be sorry for it, you see if you haint.” +</p> + +<p> +And he was. Though he uttered language I wouldn’t wish to repeat, about +the children of Israel and about me for bringin’ of ’em up. But the +man wuz dethly sick. Why he had drinked 11 tumblers full, and I trembled to +think what would have follered on, and ensued, if I hadn’t interfered. As +it wuz, he wuz confined to our abode for the rest of the day. +</p> + +<p> +But I wouldn’t have Josiah Allen blamed more than is due for this little +incedent, for it only illustrates a pervailin’ trait in men’s +nater, and sometimes wimmen’s - a too great desire to amass sudden +riches, and when opportunity offers, burden themselves with useless and +wearysome and oft-times painful gear. +</p> + +<p> +They don’t need it but seeing they have a chance to get it cheap, +“dog cheap “ as the poet observes, why they weight themselves down +with it, and then groan under the burden of unnecessary and wearin’ +wealth. This is a deep subject, deep as the well from which my companion +drinked, and nearly drinked himself into a untimely grave. +</p> + +<p> +Men heap up more riches than they can enjoy and then groan and rithe under the +taxes, the charity given, the envy, the noteriety, the glare, and the glitter, +the crowd of fortune-hunters and greedy hangers-on, and the care and anxiety. +They orniment the high front of their houses with the paint, the gildin’, +the fashion, and the show of enormous wealth, and while the crowd of +fashion-seekers and fortune-hunters pour in and out of the lofty doorway they +set out on the back stoop a groanin’ and a sithin’ at the cares and +sleepless anxietes of their big wealth, and then they git up and go down street +and try their best to heap up more treasure to groan over. +</p> + +<p> +And wimmen now, when wuz there ever a woman who could resist a good bargain? +Her upper beauro draws may be a runnin’ over with laces and ribbons, but +let her see a great bargain sold for nothin’ almost, and where is the +female woman that can resist addin’ to that already too filled up beauro +draw. +</p> + +<p> +A baby, be he a male, or be he a female child, when he has got a appel in both +hands, will try to lay holt of another, if you hold it out to him. It is human +nater. Josiah must not be considered as one alone in layin’ up more +riches than he needed. He suffered, and I also, for sech is the divine law of +love, that if one member of the family suffers, the other members suffer also, +specially when the sufferin’ member is impatient and voyalent is his +distress, and talks loud and angry at them who truly are not to blame. +</p> + +<p> +Now I didn’t make the springs nor I wuzn’t to blame for their +bein’ discovered in the first place. But Josiah laid it to me. And though +I tried to make him know that it wuz a Injun that discovered ’em first, +he wouldn’t gin in and seemed to think they wouldn’t have been +there if it hadn’t been for me. +</p> + +<p> +I hated to hear him go on so. And in the cause of Duty, I brung up Sir William +Johnson and others. But he lay there on the lounge, and kep’ his face +turned resolute towards the wall, in a dretful oncomfertable position (sech wuz +his temper of mind), and said, he never had heard of them, nor the springs +nuther, and shouldn’t if it hadn’t been for me. +</p> + +<p> +Why, sez I, “A Injun brought Sir William Johnson here on his back.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he, cross as a bear, “that is the way +you’ll have to take me back, if you go on in this way much longer.” +</p> + +<p> +“In what way, Josiah?” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Why a findin’ springs and draggin’ a man off to ’em, +and makin’ him drink.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why, Josiah Allen,” sez I, “I told you not to drink - +don’t you remember?” +</p> + +<p> +“No! I don’t remember nuthin’, nor don’t want to. I +want to go to sleep!” sez he, snappish as anything, so I went out and let +him think if he wanted to, that I made the Springs, and the Minerals, and the +Gysers, and the Spoutin’ Rock, and everything. Good land! I knew I +didn’t; but I had to rest under the unkind insinnuation. Such is some of +the trials of pardners. +</p> + +<p> +But Josiah waked up real clever. And I brung him up some delicate warm toast +and some fragrant tea, and his smile on me wuz dretful good-natured, almost +warm. And I forgot all his former petulence and basked in the rays of love and +happiness that beamed on me out of the blue sky of my companion’s eyes. +The clear blue sky that held two stars, to which my heart turned. +</p> + +<p> +Such is some of the joys of pardners with which the world don’t meddle +with, nor can’t destroy. +</p> + +<p> +But to resoom. Ardelia sot down awhile in our room before she went back to her +boardin’ house. I see she wuz a writin’ for she had a long lead +pencil in her right hand and occasionally she would lean her forrerd down upon +it, in deep thought, and before she went, she slipped the verses into my hand: +</p> + +<p class="center"> +“STANZAS ON A MINERAL SPRING. +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“Oh! waters that doth bubble up and spout<br/> +Oh, didst thou bubble down insted of up,<br/> +Thou couldest not with all thy minerals get out<br/> +We could not then arise and drink thee in a cup.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh! human waves that float and seeth and tear<br/> +Oh wiltest thou not too a learn to bubble up<br/> +Instead of down, a lesson deep to bear,<br/> +Oh Soul, can here be learned, one smooth, or rough.<br/> +<br/> +“A lesson deep of powerful min-er-als<br/> +That act with power the constitution on,<a href="#linknote-1" name="linknoteref-1" id="linknoteref-1"><sup>[1]</sup></a><br/> +And still that softly bubbles up, and tells<br/> +To souls unborn, how sweetly they have ron.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh water that doth mount on slender tip,<br/> +And spoutest up some 30 feet, through pole;<br/> +Oh Hope, learn thou a lesson from the water’s lip,<br/> +Spout out, spout out, in peace from hollow soul.” +</p> + +<p class="footnote"> +<a name="linknote-1" id="linknote-1"></a> <a href="#linknoteref-1">[1]</a> +As in the case of Mr. Allen, poor dear man. +</p> + +<p class="p2"> +Sez I, a lookin’ over my specks at Ardelia after I had finished +readin’ the verses: “What does ‘ron’ mean? I never +heerd of that word before, nor knew there wuz sech a one.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez she, “I meant ran, but I s’pose it is a poetical license to say +‘ron,’ don’t you think so?” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, yes,” sez I, “I s’pose so, I don’t know much +about licenses, nor don’t want to, they are suthin’ I never +believed in. But,” sez I, for I see she looked red and overcasted by my +remarks, “I don’t s’pose it will make any difference in a 100 +years whether you say ran or ron.” +</p> + +<p> +But sez I, “Ardelia, it is a hot day, and I wouldn’t write any more +if I wuz in your place. If you should heat your bra-, the upper part of your +head, you might not get over it for some time.” +</p> + +<p> +“But,” sez she, “you have told me sometimes to stop on +account of cold weather.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “most any kind of weather is hard on some +kinds of poetry.” Sez I, “Poetry is sunthin’ that takes +particular kinds of folks and weather to be successful.” Sez I, “It +is sunthin’ that can’t be tampered with with impunity by Christians +or world’s people. It is a kind of a resky thing to do, and I +wouldn’t write any more to-day, Ardelia.” +</p> + +<p> +And she heard to me and after a settin’ a while with us, she went back to +Mr. Pixley’s. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image24.gif" height="182" width="292" alt="Samantha tastes the water" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap08"></a>Chapter VIII.<br/> +JOSIAH AND SAMANTHA TAKE A LONG WALK.</h2> + +<p> +Wall, we hadn’t been to Saratoga long before Aunt Polly Pixley came over +to see us, for Aunt Polly had been as good as her word and had come to +Saratoga, to her 2d cousins, the Mr. Pixley’ses, where Ardelia wuz a +stopping. Ardelia herself is a distant relation to Aunt Polly, quite distant, +about 40 or 50 miles distant when they are both to home. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the change in Aunt Polly is wonderful, perfectly wonderful. She +don’t look like the same woman. +</p> + +<p> +She took her knittin’ work and come in the forenoon, for a all +day’s visit, jest as she wuz used to in the country, good old soul - and +I took her right to my room and done well by her, and we talked considerable +about other wimmen, not runnin’ talk, but good plain talk. +</p> + +<p> +She thinks a sight of the Saratoga water, and well she may, if that is what has +brung her up, for she wuz always sick in Jonesville, kinder bedrid. And when +she sot out for Saratoga she had to have a piller to put on the seat behind her +to sort a prop her up (hen’s feather). +</p> + +<p> +And now, she told me she got up early every mornin’ and walked down to +the spring for a drink of the water - walked afoot. And she sez, “It is +astonishin’ how much good that water is a doin’ me; for,” sez +she, “when I am to home I don’t stir out of the house from one +day’s end to the other; and here,” sez she, “I set out doors +all day a’most, a listenin’ to the music in the park mornin’ +and evenin’ I hear every strain on’t.” +</p> + +<p> +Aunt Polly is the greatest one for music I ever see, or hearn on. And I sez to +her, “Don’t you believe that one great thing that is helpin’ +you, is bein’ where you are kep’ gay and cheerful, - by music and +good company; and bein’ out so much in the sunshine and pure air.” +(Better air than Saratoga has got never wuz made; that is my opinion and +Josiah’s too.) And sez I, “I lay a good deal to that air.” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” she said, “it wuz the water.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “The water is good, I don’t make no doubts +on’t.” But I continued calmly - for though I never dispute, I do +most always maintain my opinion - and I sez again calmly, “There has been +a great change in you for the better, sense you come here, Miss Pixley. But +some on’t I lay to your bein’ where things are so much more +cheerful and happyfyin’. You say you haint heerd a strain of music except +a base viol for over 14 years before you come here. And though base viols if +played right may be melodious, yet Sam Pixley’s base viol wuz a old one, +and sort a cracked and grumbly in tone, and he wuzn’t much of a player +anyway, and to me, base viols always sounded kinder base anyway.” +</p> + +<p> +And sez I, “Don’t you believe a gettin’ out of your little +low dark rooms, shaded by Pollard willers and grave stuns, and gettin’ +out onto a place where you can heer sweet music from mornin’ till night, +a liftin’ you up and makin’ you happier - don’t you believe +that has sunthin’ to do with your feelin’ so much better - that and +the pure sweet air of the mountains comin’ down and bein’ softened +and enriched by the breath of the valley, and the minerals, makin’ a +balmy atmosphere most full of balm - I lay a good deal to that.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh no,” sez she, “it is the water.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez I, in a very polite way, - I will be polite, “the +water is good, first rate.” +</p> + +<p> +But at that very minute, word come to her that she had company, and she sot +sail homewards immegetly, and to once. +</p> + +<p> +And now I don’t care anything for the last word, some wimmen do, but I +don’t. But I sez to her, as I watched her a goin’ down the +stairway, steppin’ out like a girl almost, sez I, “How well you do +seem, Aunt Polly; and I lay a good deal on’t to that air.” +</p> + +<p> +Now who would have thought she would speak out from the bottom of the stairway +and say, “No, it is the water?” +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the water is good, there haint no doubt, and anyway, through the water +and the air, and bein’ took out of her home cares, and old +surroundin’s onto a brght happy place, the change in Polly Pixley is +sunthin’ to be wondered at. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, the water is good. And it is dretful smart, knowin’ water too. Why, +wouldn’t anybody think that when it all comes from the same place, or +pretty nigh the same place anyway, that they would get kinder flustrated and +mixed up once in a while? +</p> + +<p> +But they don’t. These hundreds and thousands of years, and I don’t +know how much longer, they have kep’ themselves separate from each other, +livin’ nigh neighbors there down under the ground, but never +neighborin’ with each other, or intermarryin’ in each other’s +families. No, they have kep’ themselves apart, livin’ exclosive +down below and bubblin’ up exclosive. +</p> + +<p> +They know how to make each other keep their proper distance, and I s’pose +through all the centuries to come they will bubble up, right side by side, +entirely different from each other. +</p> + +<p> +Curius, hain’t it? Dretful smart, knowin’ waters they be, fairly +sparklin’ and flashin’ with light and brightness, and intelligence. +They are for the healin’ and refreshin’ of ,the nations, and the +nations are all here this summer, a bein’ healed by ’em. But still +I lay a good deal to that air. +</p> + +<p> +Amongst the things that Aunt Polly told me about wimmen that day, wuz this, +that Ardelia Tutt had got a new Bo, Bial Flamburg, by name. +</p> + +<p> +She said Mr. Flamburg had asked Ardelia’s 3d cousin to introduce him to +her, and from that time his attentions to her had been unremittent, voyalent, +and close. She said that to all human appearance he wuz in love with her from +his hat band down to his boots and she didn’t know what the result would +be, though she felt that the situation wuz dangerus, and more’n probable +Abram Gee had more trouble ahead on him. (Aunt Polly jest worships Abram Gee, +jest as everybody duz that gets to know him well.) And I too, felt that the +situation wuz dubersome. For Ardelia I knew wuz one of the soft little wimmen +that has <i>got</i> to have men a trailin’ round after ’em; and her +bein’ so uncommon tender hearted, and Mr. Flamburg so deep in love, I +feared the result. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I wuz jest a thinkin’ of this that day after dinner when Josiah +proposed a walk, so we sot out. He proposed we should walk through the park, so +we did. The air wuz heavenly sweet and that park is one of the most restful and +beautiful places this side of Heaven, or so it seemed to us that pleasant +afternoon. The music was very soft and sweet that day, sweet with a undertone +of sadness, some like a great sorrowful soul in a beautiful body. +</p> + +<p> +The balmy south wind whispered through the branches of the bendin’ trees +on the hill where we sot. The light was a shinin’ and a siftin’ +down through the green leaves, in a soft golden haze, and the music seemed to +go right up into them shadowy, shinin’ pathways of golden misty light, a +climbin’ up on them shadowy steps of mist and gold, and amber, up, up +into the soft depths of the blue overhead - up to the abode of melody and love. +</p> + +<p> +Down the hill in the beautiful little valley, all amongst the fountains and +windin’ walks and white statutes, and green, green, grass, little +children wuz a playin’. Sweet little toddlers, jest able to walk about, +and bolder spirits, though small, a trudgin’ about with little canes, and +jumpin’ round, and havin’ a good time. +</p> + +<p> +Little boys and little girls (beautiful creeters, the hull on ’em), for +if their faces, every one on ’em, wuzn’t jest perfect! They all had +the beauty of childhood and happiness. And crowds of older folks wuz there. And +some happy young couples, youths and maidens, wuz a settin’ round, and a +wanderin’ off by themselves, and amongst them we see the form of Ardelia, +and a young man by her side. +</p> + +<p> +She wuz a leanin’ on the stun railin’ that fences in the trout +pond. She wuz evidently a lookin’ down pensively at the shinin’ +dartin’ figures of the trout, a movin’ round down in the cool +waters. +</p> + +<p> +I wuzn’t nigh enough to ’em to see really how her companion looked, +but even at that distance I recognized a certain air and atmosphere a +surroundin’ Ardelia that I knew meant poetry. +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah recognized it too, and he sez to me, “We may as well go round +the hill and out to the road that way,” sez he, (a pointin’ to the +way furthest from Ardelia) “and we may as well be a goin’.” +</p> + +<p> +That man abhors poetry. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we wandered down into the high way and havin’ most the hull +afternoon before us, we kinder sauntered round amongst the stores that wuz +pretty nigh to where we wuz. There is some likely good lookin’ stores +kep’ by the natives, as they call the stiddy dwellers in Saratoga. Good +lookin’ respectable stores full of comfort and consolation, for the outer +or inner man or woman. (I speak it in a mortal sense). +</p> + +<p> +But with the hundred thousand summer dwellers, who flock here with the summer +birds, and go out before the swallers go south, there comes lots of summer +stores, and summer shops, and picture studios, etc., etc. Like big summer +bird’s-nests, all full and a runnin’ over with summer wealth, to be +blowed down by the autumn winds. These shops are full of everything elegant and +beautiful and useful. The most gorgeous vases and plaks and chiner ware of +every description and color, and books, and jewelry, and rugs, and fans, and +parasols, and embroideries, and laces, and etc., etc., etc. +</p> + +<p> +And one shop seemed to be jest full of drops of light, light and sunshine, +crystalized in golden, clear, tinted amber. There wuz a young female statute a +standin’ up in the winder of that store with her hands outstretched and +jest a drippin’ with the great glowin’ amber drops. Some wuz a +hangin’ over her wings for she was a young flyin’ female. And I +thought to myself it must be she would fly better with all that golden light a +drippin’ about her. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah liked her looks first rate. And he liked the looks of some of the +pictures extremely. There wuz lots of places all full of pictures. A big +collection of water colors, though as Josiah said and well said, How they could +get so many colors out of water wuz a mystery to him. +</p> + +<p> +But my choice out of all the pictures I see, wuz a little one called “The +Sands of Dee.” It wuz “Mary a callin’ the cattle home.” +The cruel treacherus water wuz a risin’ about her round bare ankles as +she stood there amongst the rushes with her little milk-bucket on her arm. +</p> + +<p> +Her pretty innocent face wuz a lookin’ off into the shadows, and the last +ray of sunset was a fallin’ on her. Maybe it wuz the pity on’t that +struck so hard as I looked at it, to know that the “cruel, crawli’n +foam” wuz so soon to creep over the sweet young face and round limbs. And +there seemed to be a shadow of the comin’ fate, a sweepin’ in on +the gray mist behind her. +</p> + +<p> +I stood for some time, and I don’t know but longer, a lookin’ at +it, my Josiah a standin’ placidly behind me, a lookin’ over my +shoulder and enjoyin’ of it too, till the price wuz mentioned. But at +that fearful moment, my pardner seized me by the arm, and walked me so +voyalently out of that store and down the walk that I did not find and recover +myself till we stood at the entrance to Philey street. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image25.gif" height="315" width="209" alt="At the art gallery" /> +</div> + +<p> +And I wuz so out of breath, by his powerful speed, that she didn’t look +nateral to me, I hardly recognized Philey. But Josiah hurried me down Philey +and wanted to get my mind offen Mary Dee I knew, for he says as we come under a +sign hangin’ down over the road, “Horse Exchange,” sez he, +“What do you say, Samantha, do you spose I could change off the old mair, +for a camel or sunthin’? How would you like a camel to ride?” +</p> + +<p> +I looked at him in speechless witherin’ silence, and he went on hurridly, +“It would make a great show in Jonesville, wouldn’t it, to see us +comin’ to meetin’ on a camel, or to see us ridin’ in a cutter +drawed by one. I guess I’ll see about it, some other time.” +</p> + +<p> +And he went on hurridly, and almost incoherently as we see another sign, over +the road - oh! how vollubly he did talk - “Quick, Livery.” +</p> + +<p> +“I hate to see folks so dumb conceeted! Now I don’t spose that man +has got any hosses much faster than the old mair.” +</p> + +<p> +“‘Wing’s!’ Shaw! I don’t believe no such thing - +a livery on wings. I don’t believe a word on’t. And you +wouldn’t ketch me on one on ’em, if they had!” +</p> + +<p> +“‘Yet Sing!’” sez he, a lookin’ accost the street +into a laundry house. “What do I care if you do sing? ’Taint of +much account if you do any way. <i>I</i> sing sometimes, I <i>yet</i> sing,” says he. +</p> + +<p> +“<i>Sing</i>,” sez I in neerly witherin’ tone. “I’d love +to hear you sing, I haint yet and I’ve lived with you agoin’ on 30 +years.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, if you haint heerd me, it is because you are deef,” sez he. +</p> + +<p> +But that is jest the way he kep’ on, a hurryin’ me along, and a +talkin’ fast to try to get the price of that picture out of my head. +Anon, and sometimes oftener, we would come to the word in big letters on signs, +or on the fence, or the sides of barns, “Pray.” And sometimes it +would read, “Pray for my wife!” And Josiah every time he came to +the words would stop and reflect on ’em. +</p> + +<p> +“‘Pray!’ What business is it of yourn, whether I pray or not? +‘Pray for my wife!’ That haint none of your business.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, a shakin’ his fist at the fence, “’Taint likely I +should have a wife without prayin’ for her. She needs it bad +enough,” sez he once, as he stood lookin’ at it. +</p> + +<p> +I gin him a strange look, and he sez, “You wouldn’t like it, would +you, if I didn’t pray for you?” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez I, “and truly as you say, the woman who is your +wife needs prayer, she needs help, morn half the time she duz.” +</p> + +<p> +He looked kinder dissatisfied at the way I turned it, but he sez, +“‘Plumbin’ done here!’” +</p> + +<p> +“I’d love to know where they are goin’ to plum. I don’t +see no sign of plum trees, nor no stick to knock ’em off with.” And +agin he sez, “You would make a great ‘fuss, Samantha, if I should +say what is painted up right there on that cross piece. You would say I wuz a +swearin’.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I coldly, (or as cold as I could with my blood heated by the voyalence and +rapidity of the walk he had been a leadin’ me,) “There is a Van in +front of it. Van Dam haint swearin’.” +</p> + +<p> +“You would say it wuz if <i>I</i> used it,” sez he reproachfully. +“If I should fall down on the ice, or stub my toe, and trip up on the +meetin’ house steps, and I should happen to mention the name of that +street about the same time, you would say I wuz a swearin’.” +</p> + +<p> +I did not reply to him; I wouldn’t. And ag’in he hurried me +on’ards by some good lookin’ bildin’s, and trees, and +tavrens, and cottages, and etc., etc., and we come to Caroline street, and +Jane, and Matilda, and lots of wimmen’s names. +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah sez, “I’ll bet the man that named them streets wuz love +sick!” +</p> + +<p> +But he wuzn’t no such thing. It was a father that owned the land, and +laid out the streets, and named ’em for his daughters. Good old creeter! +I wuzn’t goin’ to have him run at this late day, and run down his +own streets too. +</p> + +<p> +But ag’in Josiah hurried me on’ards. And bimeby we found ourselves +a standin’ in front of a kind of a lonesome lookin’ house, big and +square, with tall pillows in front. It wuz a standin’ back as if it wuz a +kinder a drawin’ back from company, in a square yard all dark and shady +with tall trees. And it all looked kinder dusky, and solemn like. And a +bystander a standin’ by told us that it wuz “ha’nted.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image26.gif" height="317" width="295" alt="The haunted house" /> +</div> + +<p> +Josiah pawed at it, and shawed at the idee of a gost. +</p> + +<p> +But I sez, “There! that is the only thing Saratoga lacked to make her +perfectly interestin’, and that is a gost!” +</p> + +<p> +But agin Josiah pawed at the idee, and sez, “There never wuz such a thing +as a gost! and never will be.” And sez he, “what an extraordenary +idiot anybody must be to believe in any sech thing.” And ag’in he +looked very skernful and high-headed, and once ag’in he shawed. +</p> + +<p> +And I kep’ pretty middlin’ calm and serene and asked the bystander, +when the gost ha’nted, and where? +</p> + +<p> +And he said, it opened doors and blowed out lights mostly, and trampled up +stairs. +</p> + +<p> +“Openin’, and blowin’, and tramplin’,” sez I +dreamily. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez the man, “that’s what it duz.” +</p> + +<p> +And agin Josiah shawed loud. And agin I kep’ calm, and sez I, +“I’d give a cent to see it.” And sez I, “Do you suppose +it would blow out and trample if we should go in?” +</p> + +<p> +But Josiah grasped holt of my arm and sez, “’Taint safe! my dear +Samantha! don’t le’s go near the house.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why? “ sez I coldly, “you say there haint no sech thing as a +gost, what are you afraid on?” +</p> + +<p> +His teeth wuz fairly chatterin’. “Oh! there might be spiders there, +or mice, it haint best to go.” +</p> + +<p> +I turned silently round and started on, for my companion’s looks was +pitiful in the extreme. But I merely observed this, as we wended onwards, +“I have always noticed this, Josiah Allen, that them that shaw the most +at sech things, are the ones whose teeth chatter when they come a nigh +’em, showin’ plain that the shawers are really the ones that +believe in ’em.” +</p> + +<p> +“My teeth chattered,” sez he, “because my gooms ache.” +</p> + +<p> +“Well,” sez I, “the leest said the soonest mended.” And +we went on fast ag’in by big houses and little, and boardin’ +houses, and boardin’ houses, and boardin’ houses, and tavrens, and +tavrens, and he kept me a walkin’ till my feet wuz most blistered. +</p> + +<p> +I see what his aim wuz; I had recognized it all the hull time. +</p> + +<p> +But as we went up the stairway into our room, perfectly tuckered out, both on +us, I sez to him, in weary axents, “That picture wuz cheap enough, for +the money, wuzn’t it?” +</p> + +<p> +He groaned aloud. And sech is my love for that man, that the minute I heard +that groan I immegetly added, “Though I hadn’t no idee of +buyin’ it, Josiah.” +</p> + +<p> +Immegetly he smiled warmly, and wuz very affectionate in his demeener to me for +as much as two hours and a half. Sech is the might of human love. +</p> + +<p> +His hurryin’ me over them swelterin’ and blisterin’ streets, +and showin’ me all the beauty and glory of the world, and his +conversation had no effect, skercely on my mind. But what them hours of +frenzied effert could not accomplish, that one still, small groan did. I love +that man. I almost worship him, and he me, vise versey, and the same. +</p> + +<p> +We found that Ardelia Tutt had been to see us in our absence. She had been into +our room I see, for she had dropped one of her mits there. And the chambermaid +said she had been in and waited for us quite a spell - the young man a +waitin’ below on the piazza, so I s’posed. +</p> + +<p> +I expect Ardelia wanted to show him off to us and I myself wuz quite anxus to +see him, feelin’ worried and oncomfertable about Abram Gee and +wantin’ to see if this young chap wuz anywhere nigh as good as Abram. +</p> + +<p> +Well about a hour after we came back, Josiah missed his glasses he reads with. +And we looked all over the house for ’em, and under the bed, and on the +ceilin’, and through our trunks and bandboxes, and all our pockets, and +in the Bible, and Josiah’s boots, and everywhere. And finely, after +givin’ ’em up as lost, the idee come to us that they might possibly +have ketched on the fringe of Ardelia’s shawl, and so rode home with her +on it. +</p> + +<p> +So we sent one of the office-boys home with her mit and asked her if she had +seen Josiah’s glasses. And word come back by the boy that she +hadn’t seen ’em, and she sent word to me to look on my +pardner’s head for ’em, and sure enough there we found ’em, +right on his foretop, to both of our surprises. +</p> + +<p> +She sent also by the boy a poem she had wrote that afternoon, and sent word how +sorry she wuz I wuzn’t to home to see Mr. Flamburg. But I see him only a +day or two after that, and I didn’t like his looks a mite. +</p> + +<p> +But he said, and stuck to it, that his father owned a large bank, that he wuz a +banker, and a doin’ a heavy business. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, that raised him dretfully in Ardelia’s eyes; she owned up to me +that it did. She owned to me that she lead always thought she would love to be +a Banker’s Bride. She thought it sounded rich. She said, “banker +sounded so different from baker.” +</p> + +<p> +I sez to her coolly, that “it wuz only a difference of one letter, and I +never wuz much of a one to put the letter N above any of the others, or to be +haughty on havin’ it added to, or diminished from my name.” +</p> + +<p> +But she kep’ on a goin’ with him. She told me it wuz real +romanticle the way he got aquanted with her. He see her onbeknown to her one +day, when she wuz a writin’ a poem on one of the benches in the park. +</p> + +<p> +“A Poem on a Bench!” +</p> + +<p> +She wuz a settin’ on the bench, and a writin’ about it, she was a +writin’ on the bench in two different ways. Curius, haint it? +</p> + +<p> +But to resoom. He immegetly fell in love with her. And he got a feller who wuz +a boardin’ to his boardin’ place to interduce him to +Ardelia’s relative, Mr. Pixley, and Mr. Pixley interduced him to Ardelia. +He told Ardelia’s relatives the same story - That his father wuz a +banker, that he owned a bank and wuz doin’ a heavy business. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I watched that young chap, and watched him close, and I see there wuz one +thing about him that could be depended on, he wuz truthful. +</p> + +<p> +He seemed almost morbid on the subject, and would dispute himself half a hour, +to get a thing or a story he wuz tellin’ jest exactly right. But he +drinked; that I know for I know the symptoms. Coffee can’t blind the eyes +of her that waz once Smith, nor peppermint cast a mist before ’em. My +nose could have took its oath, if noses wuz ever put onto a bar of Justice - my +nose would have gin its firm testimony that Bial Flamburg drinked. +</p> + +<p> +And there wuz that sort of a air about him, that I can’t describe exactly +- a sort of a half offish, half familier and wholly disagreeable mean, that can +be onderstood but not described. No, you can’t picture that liniment, but +you can be affected by it. Wall, Bial had it. +</p> + +<p> +And I kep’ on a not likin’ him, and kep’ stiddy onwards a +likin’ Abram Gee. I couldn’t help it, nor did’nt want to. And +I looked out constant to ketch him in some big story that would break him right +down in Ardelia’s eyes, for I knew if she had been brought up on any one +commandment more’n another, it wuz the one ag’inst lyin’. She +hated lyin’. +</p> + +<p> +She had been brought up on the hull of the commandments but on that one in +particeler; she wuz brung up sharp but good. But not one lie could I ketch him +in. And he stuck to it, that his father wuz a banker and doin’ a heavy +business. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, it kep’ on, she a goin’ with him through ambition, for I see +plain, by signs I knoo, that she didn’t love him half as well as she did +Abram. And I felt bad, dretful bad, to set still and see Ambition ondoin’ +of her. For oft and oft she would speak to me of Bial’s father’s +bank and the heft of the business he wuz a doin’. +</p> + +<p> +And I finally got so worked up in my mind that I gin a sly hint to Abram Gee, +that if he ever wanted to get Ardelia Tutt, he had better make a summer trip to +Saratoga. I never told Ardelia what I had done, but trusted to a +overrulin’ destiny, that seems to enrap babys, and lunatiks, and soft +little wimmen, when their heads get kinder turned by a man, and to +Abram’s honest face when she should compare it with Bial +Flamburg’s, and to Abram’s pure, sweet breath with that mixture of +stale cigars, tobacco, beer, and peppermint. +</p> + +<p> +But Abram wrote back to me that his mother wuz a lyin’ at the p’int +of death with a fever - that his sister Susan wuz sick a bed with the same +fever and couldn’t come a nigh her and he couldn’t leave what might +be his mother’s death-bed. And he sez, if Ardelia had forgot him in so +short a time, mebby it wuz the best thing he could do, to try and forget her. +Anyway, he wouldn’t leave his dying mother for anything or anybody. +</p> + +<p> +That wuz Abram Gee all over, a doin’ his duty every time by bread and +humanity. But he added a postscript and it wuz wrote in a agitated hand - that +jest as soon as his mother got so he could leave her, he should come to +Saratoga. +</p> + +<p> +The verses that Ardelia sent over to me wuz as follers: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“A LAY ON A FEMALE TROUT IN CENTRAL PARK.<br/> +“BY ARDELIA TUTT.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh trout, sweet female trout, oh fain would I<br/> +In hottest day, perspirin’ dretfelee<br/> +Desend, and dressed most cool like thee, would lie<br/> +As deep in water, some two feet, or three<br/> +Or even four.<br/> +<br/> +“Who would not dress like thee on summer day?<br/> +How cool thy robes—lo! not one boddice waist<br/> +Or corset stay, to make thee taper small.<br/> +Thou taperest without them, and not then with haste,<br/> +Or Bandaline.<br/> +<br/> +“Thou crimpest not, or bangest up thy hair;<br/> +Thou hast no hair to bang, sweet trout so dear,<br/> +Thou dost not dance round dances, nor repair<br/> +Unto the thronged piazzas, nor appear,<br/> +Sweet modest trout.<br/> +<br/> +“In long and haughty trains thou never dost appear<br/> +And switch them up and down the corredere and hall<br/> +With diamond jewels hanging to thy ear;<br/> +Thou hast not ears to hang them on, no! not at all.<br/> +No, not one ear.<br/> +<br/> +“Thou walkest not in high heeled shoes, thou cannest not<br/> +For reesons it were vain to now relate.<br/> +Ah no! But let us cast one eye adown thy grot<br/> +And see thee sweet and patient wear thy fate,<br/> +And wear it well.<br/> +<br/> +“At Garden parties, Race Course, Music Hall,<br/> +We ne’er have set our weary eyes thy form upon;<br/> +Thou dost not ramble in the crowded maul,<br/> +Thou hast no legs sweet trout to ramble on;<br/> +Ah! no! dear one.<br/> +<br/> +“And so thou seemest well content to saunter not,<br/> +Or waltz about in garments fine and gay;<br/> +Oh. Mortal Man! a lesson learn of Trout<br/> +If thou no legs hast got, why seek to waltz away,<br/> +Or promenade?<br/> +<br/> +“And, beautius female, learn thou of dear trout<br/> +So move and swim in thine own native way;<br/> +Seek not high stations, titles great, and flout<br/> +Not thou at fate, but gently swim away<br/> +On native waves.<br/> +<br/> +“Cool blooded hold thy heart, like female trout;<br/> +Melt not at sweet, false words, that melt and seeth and burn;<br/> +She melteth not, oh no! she cooly turns about<br/> +And nibbles on, so thou, and follow on<br/> +Sweet female one.”<br/> +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap09"></a>Chapter IX.<br/> +JOSIAH’S FLIRTATIONS.</h2> + +<p> +They say there is a sight of flirtin’ done at Saratoga. I didn’t +hear so much about it as Josiah did, naturally there are things that are talked +of more amongst men than women. Night after night he would come home and tell +me how fashionable it wuz, and pretty soon I could see that he kinder wanted to +follow the fashion. +</p> + +<p> +I told him from the first on’t that he’d better let it entirely +alone. Says I, “Josiah Allen, you wouldn’t never carry it through +successful if you should undertake it—and then think of the wickedness +on’t.” +</p> + +<p> +But he seemed sot. He said “it wuz more fashionable amongst married men +and wimmen, than the more single ones,” he said “it wuz dretful +fashionable amongst pardners.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” says I, “I shall have, nothin’ to do with it, +and I advise you, if you know when you are well off, to let it entirely +alone.” +</p> + +<p> +“Of course,” says he, fiercely, “<i>You</i> needn’t have +nothin’ to do with it. It is nothin’ you would want to foller up. +And I would ruther see you sunk into the ground, or be sunk myself, than to see +you goin’ into it. Why,” says he, savagely, “I would tear a +man lim from lim, if I see him a tryin’ to flirt with you.” (Josiah +Allen worships me.) “But,” says he, more placider like, “men +<i>have</i> to do things sometimes, that they know is too hard for their pardners to +do—men sometimes feel called upon to do things that their pardners +don’t care about—that they haint strong enough to tackle. Wimmen +are fragile creeters anyway.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image27.gif" height="308" width="207" alt="No flirting" /> +</div> + +<p> +“Oh, the fallacy of them arguments—and the weakness of ’em. +</p> + +<p> +But I didn’t say nothin’ only to reiterate my utterance, that +“if he went into it, he would have to foller it up alone, that he +musn’t expect any help from me.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh no!” says he. “Oh! certainly not.” +</p> + +<p> +His tone wuz very genteel, but there seemed to be sumthin’ strange in it. +And I looked at him pityin’ly over my specks. The hull idea on it wuz +extremely distasteful to me, this talk about flirtin’, and etc., at our +ages, and with our stations in the Jonesville meetin’ house, and with our +grandchildren. +</p> + +<p> +But I see from day to day that he wuz a hankerin’ after it, and I almost +made up my mind that I should have to let him make a trial, knowin’ that +experience wuz the best teacher, and knowin’ that his morals wuz sound, +and he wuz devoted to me, and only went into the enterprize because he thought +it wuz fashionable. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz a young English girl a boardin’ to the same place we did. She +dressed some like a young man, carried a cane, etc. But she wuz one of the +upper 10, and wuz as pretty as a picture, and I see Josiah had kinder sot his +eyes on her as bein’ a good one to try his experiment with. He thought +she wuz beautiful. But good land! I didn’t care. I liked her myself. But +I could see, though he couldn’t see it, that she wuz one of the girls who +would flirt with the town pump, or the meetin’ house steeple, if she +couldn’t get nobody else to flirt with. She wuz born so, but I suppose +ontirely unbeknown to her when she wuz born. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Josiah Allen would set and look at her by the hour—dretful +admirin’. But good land! I didn’t care. I loved to look at her +myself. And then too I had this feelin’ that his morals wuz sound. But +after awhile, I could see, and couldn’t help seein’, that he wuz a +tryin’ in his feeble way to flirt with her. And I told him kindly, but +firmly, “that it wuz somethin’ that I hated to see a goin’ +on.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image28.gif" height="309" width="263" alt="Josiah admires" /> +</div> + +<p> +But he says, “Well, dumb it all, Samantha, if anybody goes to a +fashionable place, they ort to try to be fashionable. ’Taint +nothin’ I <i>want</i> to do, and you ort to know it.” +</p> + +<p> +And I says in pityin’ axents but firm, “If you don’t want to, +Josiah, I wouldn’t, fashion or no fashion.” +</p> + +<p> +But I see I couldn’t convince him, and there happened to be a skercity of +men jest then—and he kep’ it up, and it kep’ me on the <i>key +veav</i>, as Maggie says, when she is on the tenter hooks of suspense. +</p> + +<p> +I felt bad to see it go on, not that I wuz jealous, no, my foretop lay smooth +from day to day, not a jealous hair in it, not one—but I felt sorry for +my companion. I see that while the endurin’ of it wuz hard and tejus for +him (for truly he was not a addep at the business; it come tuff, feerful tuff +on him), the endin’ wuz sure to be harder. And I tried to convince him, +from a sense of duty, that she wuz makin’ fun of him—he had told me +lots of the pretty things she had said to him—and out of principle I told +him that she didn’t mean one word of ’em. But I couldn’t +convince him, and as is the way of pardners, after I had sot the reasen and the +sense before him, and he wouldn’t hear to me, why then I had to set down +and bear it. Such is some of the trials of pardners? +</p> + +<p> +Wall, it kep’ agoin’ on, and a goin’ on, and I kep’ a +hatin’ to see it, for if anybody has <i>got</i> to flirt, which I am far from +approvin’ of, but if I have <i>got</i> to see it a goin’ on, I would fain +see it well done, and Josiah’s efforts to flirt wuz like an effort of our +old mair to play a tune on the melodian, no grace in it, no system, nor comfort +to him, nor me. +</p> + +<p> +I s’pose the girl got some fun out of it; I hope she did, for if she +didn’t it wuz a wearisome job all round. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, a week or so rolled on, and it wuz still in progress. And one day an old +friend of ours, Miss Ezra Balch, from the east part of Jonesville, come to see +me. She come to Saratoga for the rheumatiz, and wuz gettin’ well fast, +and Ezra was gettin’ entirely cured of biles, for which he had come, +carbunkles. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, she invited Josiah and me to take a ride with ’em, and we both +accepted of it, and at the appointed time I wuz ready to the minute, down on +the piazza, with my brown cotton gloves on, and my mantilly hung gracefully +over my arm. But at the last minute, Josiah Allen said “he couldn’t +go.” +</p> + +<p> +I says “Why can’t you go?” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh,” he says, kinder drawin’ up his collar, and +smoothin’ down his vest, “Oh, I have got another engagement.” +</p> + +<p> +He looked real high-headed, and I says to him: +</p> + +<p> +“Josiah Allen didn’t you promise Druzilla Balch that you would go +with her and Ezra to-day?” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall yes,” says he, “but I can’t.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why not?” says I. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, Samantha, though they are well meanin’, good people, they +haint what you may call fashionable, they haint the upper 10.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I, “Josiah Allen you have fell over 15 cents in my estimation, sense +we have begun talkin’, you won’t go with ’em because they +haint fashionable. They are good, honest Christian Methodists, and have stood +by you and me many a time, in times of trouble, and now,” says I, +“you turn against ’em because they haint fashionable.” Says +I, “Josiah Allen where do you think you’ll go to?” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, probable down through Congress Park, and we may walk up as fur as +the Indian Encampment. I feel kinder mauger to-day, and my corns ache +feerful.” (His boots wuz that small that they wuz sights to behold, +sights!) “We probably shan’t walk fur,” says he. +</p> + +<p> +I see how ’twuze in a minute. That English girl had asked him to walk +with her, and my pardner had broken a solemn engagement with Ezra and Druzilla +Balch to go a walkin’ with her. I see how ’twuz, but I sot in +silence and one of the big rockin’ chairs, and didn’t say +nothin’. +</p> + +<p> +Finally he says, with a sort of a anxious look onto his foreward: +</p> + +<p> +“You don’t feel bad, do you Samantha? You haint jealous, are +you?” +</p> + +<p> +“Jealous!” says I, a lookin’ him calmly over from head to +feet—it wuz a witherin’ look, and yet pitiful, that took in the +hull body and soul, and weighed ’em in the balances of common sense, and +pity, and justice. It wuz a look that seemed to envelop him all to one time, +and took him all in, his bald head, his vest, and his boots, and his mind (what +he had), and his efforts to be fashionable, and his trials and tribulations at +it, and—and everything. I give him that one long look, and then I says: +</p> + +<p> +“Jealous? No, I haint jealous.” +</p> + +<p> +Then silence rained again about us, and Josiah spoke out (his conscience was a +troublin’ him), and he says: +</p> + +<p> +“You know in fashionable life, Samantha, you have to do things which seem +unkind, and Ezra, though a good, worthy man, can’t understand these +things as I do.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I: “Josiah Allen, you’ll see the day that you’ll be +sorry for your treatment of Druzilla Balch, and Ezra.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh wall,” says he, pullin’ up his collar, “I’m +bound to be fashionable. While I can go with the upper 10, it is my duty and my +privilege to go with ’em, and not mingle in the lower classes like the +Balches.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I firmly, “You look out, or some of them 10 will be the death of +you, and you may see the day that you will be glad to leave ’em, the hull +10 of em, and go back to Druzilla and Ezra Balch.” +</p> + +<p> +But what more words might have passed between us, wuz cut short by the arrival +of Ezra and Druzilla in a good big carriage, with Miss Balch on the back seat, +and Ezra acrost from her, and a man up in front a drivin’. It wuz a good +lookin’ sight, and I hastened down the steps, Josiah disappearin’ +inside jest as quick as he ketched sight of their heads. +</p> + +<p> +They asked me anxiously “where Josiah wuz and why he didn’t +come?” And I told ’em, “that Josiah had told me that +mornin’ that he felt manger, and he had some corns that wuz a +achin’.” +</p> + +<p> +So much wuz truth, and I told it, and then moved off the subject, and they +seein’ my looks, didn’t pursue it any further. They proposed to go +back to their boardin’ place, and take in Deacon Balch, Ezra’s +brother from Chicago, who wuz stayin’ there a few days to recooperate his +energies, and get help for tizick. So they did. He wuz a widowed man. Yes, he +was the widower of Cornelia Balch who I used to know well, a good lookin’ +and a good actin’ man. And he seemed to like my appeerance pretty well, +though I am fur from bein’ the one that ort to say it. +</p> + +<p> +And as we rolled on over the broad beautiful road towards Saratoga Lake, I +begun to feel better in my mind. +</p> + +<p> +The Deacon wuz edifyin’ in conversation, and he thought, and said, +“that my mind was the heftiest one that he had ever met, and he had met +hundreds and hundreds of ’em.” He meant it, you could see that, he +meant every word he said. And it wuz kind of comfortin’ to hear the +Deacon say so, for I respected the Deacon, and I <i>knew</i> he meant just what he +said. +</p> + +<p> +He said, and believed, though it haint so, but the Deacon believed it, +“that I looked younger than I did the day I wuz married.” +</p> + +<p> +I told him “I didn’t feel so young.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” he said, “then my looks deceived me, for I looked as +young, if not younger.” +</p> + +<p> +Deacon Balch is a good, kind, Christian man. +</p> + +<p> +His conversation was very edifyin’, and he looked kinder good, and +warm-hearted at me out of his eyes, which wuz blue, some the color of my +Josiah’s. But alas! I felt that though some comforted and edified by his +talk, still, my heart was not there, not there in that double buggy with 2 +seats, but wuz afur off with my pardner. I felt that Josiah Allen wuz a +carryin’ my heart with him wherever he wuz a goin’. Curious, haint +it? Now you may set and smile, and talk, and seem to be enjoyin’ yourself +first-rate, with agreeable personages all around you, and you do enjoy yourself +with that part of your nater. But with it all, down deep under the laughs, and +the bright words, the comfort you get out of the answerin’ laughs, the +gay talk, under it all is the steady consciousness that the real self is fur +away, the heart, the soul is fur away, held by some creeter whether he be high, +or whether he be low, it don’t matter—there your heart is, a +goin’ towards happiness, or a travellin’ towards pain as the case +may be—curious, haint it? +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Ezra and Druzilla wanted to go to the Sulphur Springs way beyend Saratoga +Lake, and as the Deacon wuz agreeable, and I also, we sot out for it, though, +as we all said, it wuz goin’ to be a pretty long and tegus journey for a +hot day. But we went along the broad, beautiful highway, by the high, handsome +gates of the Racing Park, down, down, by handsome houses and shady woods, and +fields of bright-colored wild flowers on each side of the road, down to the +beautiful lake, acrost it over the long bridge, and then into the long, cool +shadows of the bendin’ trees that bend over the road on each side, while +through the green boughs, jest at our side we could ketch a sight of the blue, +peaceful waters, a lyin’ calm and beautiful jest by the side of +us—on, on, through the long, sheltered pathway, out into the sunshine for +a spell, with peaceful fields a layin’ about us, and peaceful cattle a +wanderin’ over ’em, and then into the shade agin, till at last we +see a beautiful mountin’, with its head held kinder high, crowned with +ferns and hemlocks, and its feet washed by the cool water of the beautiful +lake. +</p> + +<p> +The shadows of this mountin’, tree crowned, lay on the smooth, placid +wave, and a white sail boat wuz a comin’ round the side on’t, and +floatin’ over the green, crystal branches, and golden shadows. It wuz a +fair seen, seen for a moment, and then away we went into the green shadows of +the woods again, round a corner, and here we wuz, at the Sulphur Springs. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a quiet peaceful spot. The house looked pleasant, and so did the +Landlord, and Landlady, and we dismounted and walked through a long clean hall, +and went out onto a back piazza and sot down. And I thought as I sot there, +that I would be glad enough to set there, for some time. Everything looked so +quiet and serene. The paths leadin’ up the hills in different directions, +out into the green woods, looked quiet; the pretty, grassy backyard +leadin’ down to the water side looked green and peaceable, and around +all, and beyond all, wuz the glory of the waters. They lay stretched out +beautiful and in heavenly calm, and the sun, which wuz low in the West, made a +gold path acrost ’em, where it seemed as if one could walk over only a +little ways, into Perfect Repose. The Lake somehow looked like a glowin’ +pavement, it didn’t look like water, but it seemed like broad fields of +azure and palest lavender, and pinky grey, and pearly white, and every soft and +delicate color that water could be crystalized into. And over all lay the +glowin’, tender sunset skies—it wuz a fair seen. And even as I +looked on in a almost rapped way, the sun come out from behind a soft cloud, +and lay on the water like a pillow of fire jest as I dream that pillow did, +that went ahead of my old 4 fathers. +</p> + +<p> +The rest on ’em seemed to be more intent on the lemonade with 2 straws in +’em. I didn’t make no fuss. They are nice, clean folks, I make no +doubt. I wouldn’t make no fuss and tell on the hired man—women of +the house have enough to worry ’em anyway. But he had dropped some straws +into our tumblers, every one on ’em, I dare presume to say they had been +a fillin’ straw ticks. I jest took mine out in a quiet way, and throwed +’em to one side. The rest on ’em, I see, and it wuz real good in +’em, drinked through ’em, as we used to at school. It wuz real good +in Druzilla, and Ezra, and also in the Deacon. It kinder ondeared the hull on +’em to me. I hope this won’t be told of, it orto be kep—for +he wuz a goodnatured lookin’ hired man, black, but not to blame for +that—and good land! what is a straw?—anyway they wuz clean. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz some tents sot up there in the back yard, lookin’ some as I +s’pose our old 4 fathers tents did, in the pleasant summer times of old. +And I asked a bystander a standin’ by, whose tents they wuz, and he said +they wuz Free Thinkers havin’ a convention. +</p> + +<p> +And I says, “How free?” +</p> + +<p> +And he said “they wuz great cases to doubt everything, they doubted +whether they wuz or not, and if they wuz or when, and if so, why?” +</p> + +<p> +And he says, “won’t you stay to-night over and attend the +meetin’?” +</p> + +<p> +And I says, “What are they goin’ to teach tonight?” +</p> + +<p> +And he says, “The Whyness of the What” +</p> + +<p> +I says, “I guess that is too deep a subject for me to tackle,” and +says I, “Don’t they believe anything easier than that?” +</p> + +<p> +And he says, “They don’t believe anything. That is their +belief—to believe nothin’.” +</p> + +<p> +“Nothin’!” says I. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” says he, “Nothin’.” And, says he, +“to-morrer they are goin’ to prove beyond any question, that there +haint any God, nor anything, and never wuz anything.” +</p> + +<p> +“Be they?” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” says he, “and won’t you come and be +convinced?” +</p> + +<p> +I looked off onto the peaceful waters, onto the hills that lay as the mountains +did about Jerusalem, onto the pillow of fire that seemed to hold in it the +flames of that light that had lighted the old world onto the mornin’ of +the new day,—and one star had come out, and stood tremblin’ over +the brow of the mountain and I thought of that star that had riz so long time +ago, and had guided the three wise men, guided ’em jest alike from their +three different homes, entirely unbeknown to each other, guidin’ +’em to the cradle where lay the infant Redeemer of the world, so long +foretold by bard and prophet. I looked out onto the heavenly glory of the day, +and then inside into my heart, that held a faith jest as bright and +undyin’ as the light of that star—and I says, “No, I guess I +won’t go and be convinced.” +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we riz up to go most immediately afterwerds, and the Deacon (he is very +smart) observed: +</p> + +<p> +“How highly tickled and even highlarious the man seemed in talkin’ +about there not bein’ any future.” And he says, “It wuz a +good deal like a man laughin’ and clappin’ his hands to see his +house burn down” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “it wuz far wurse, for his home wouldn’t stand +more’n a 100 years or so, and this home he wuz a tryin’ to destroy, +wuz one that would last through eternity.” “But,” says I, +“it hain’t built by hands, and I guess their hands hain’t +strong enough to tear it down, nor high enough to set fire to it.” +</p> + +<p> +And the Deacon says, “Jest so, Miss Allen, you spoke truthfully, and +eloquent.” (The Deacon is very smart.) +</p> + +<p> +When we got into the buggy to start, the Deacon says, “I would like to +resoom the conversation with you, Josiah Allen’s wife, a goin’ +back.” +</p> + +<p> +And Druzilla spoke right out and says, “I will set on the front seat by +Ezra.” I says, “Oh no, Druzilla, I can hear the Deacon from where I +sot before.” +</p> + +<p> +But the Deacon says, Talkin’ loud towards night always offected his voice +onpleasantly, mebby Druzilla and he had better change seats. +</p> + +<p> +Again I demurred. And then Druzilla said she must set by Ezra, she wanted to +tell him sumthin’ in confidence. +</p> + +<p> +And so it wuz arraigned, for I felt that I wuz not the one to come between +pardners, no indeed. The road laid peacefuller and beautifuller than ever, or +so it seemed under the sunset glory that sort o’ hung round it. Jest +about half way through the woods we met the English girl, a stridin’ +along alone, each step more’n 3 feet long, or so it seemed to me. There +wuz a look of health, and happy determination on her forwerd as she strided +rapidly by. +</p> + +<p> +I would have fain questioned her concernin’ my pardner, as she strode by, +but before I could call out, or begon to her she wuz far in the rearwerd, and +goin’ in a full pressure and in a knot of several miles an hour. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, from that minute I felt strange and curious. And though Druzilla and Ezra +was agreeable and the Deacon edifyin’, I didn’t seem to feel +edified, and the most warm-hearted looks didn’t seem to warm my heart +none, it wuz oppressed with gloomy forebodings of, Where wuz my pardner? They +had laid out to set out together. Had they sot? This question was a +goverin’ me, and the follerin’ one: If they had sot out together, +where wuz my pardner, Josiah Allen, now? As I thought these feerful thoughts, +instinctively I turned around to see if I could see a trace of his companion in +the distance. Yes, I could ketch a faint glimpse of her as she wuz +mountin’ a diclivity, and stood for an instant in sight, but long before +even, she disopeered agin, for her gait wuz tremendous, and at a rate of a good +many knots she wuz a goin’, that I knew. And the fearful thought would +rise, Josiah Allen could not go more than half a knot, if he could that. He wuz +a slow predestinatur any way, and then his corns was feerful, and never could +be told—and his boots had in ’em the elements of feerful +sufferin’. It wuz all he could do when he had ’em on to hobble down +to the spring, and post-office. Where? where wuz he? And she a goin’ at +the rate of so many knots. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! the agony of them several minutes, while these thoughts wuz rampagin +through my destracted brain. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! if pardners only knew the agony they bring onto their devoted companions, +by their onguarded and thoughtless acts, and attentions to other females, gin +without proper reseerch and precautions, it would draw their liniments down +into expressions of shame and remorse. Josiah wouldn’t have gone with her +if he had known the number of knots she wuz a goin’, no, not one +step—then why couldn’t he have found out the number of them +knots—why couldn’t he? Why can’t pardners look ahead and see +to where their gay attentions, their flirtations that they call mild and +innercent, will lead ’em to? Why can’t they realize that it haint +only themselves they are injurin’, but them that are bound to ’em +by the most sacred ties that folks can be twisted up in? Why can’t they +realize that a end must come to it, and it may be a fearful and a shameful one, +and if it is a happiness that stops, it will leave in the heart when happiness +gets out, a emptiness, a holler place, where like as not onhappiness will get +in, and mebby stay there for some time, gaulin’ and heart-breakin’ +to the opposite pardner to see it go on? +</p> + +<p> +If it is indifference, or fashion, or anything of that sort, why it don’t +pay none of the time, it don’t seem to me it duz, and the end will be +emptier and hollerer then the beginnin’. +</p> + +<p> +In the case of my pardner it wuz fashion, nothing but the butterfly of fashion +he wuz after, to act in a high-toned, fashionable manner, like other +fashionable men. And jest see the end on’t why he had brought +sufferin’ of the deepest dye onto his companion, and <i>what</i>, <i>what</i> hed he +brought onto himself—onto his feet? +</p> + +<p> +Oh! the agony of them several moments while them thoughts was a rackin’ +at me. The moments swelled out into a half hour, it must have been a long half +hour, before I see far ahead, for the eyes of love is keen - a form a +settin’ on the grass by the wayside, that I re<i>cog</i>nized as the form of my +pardner. As we drew nearer we all re<i>cog</i>nized the figure—but Josiah Allen +didn’t seem to notice us. His boots was off, and his stockin’s, and +even in that first look I could see the agony that was a rendin’ them +toes almost to burstin’. Oh, how sorry I felt for them toes! He was a +restin’ in a most dejected and melancholy manner on his hand, as if it +wuz more than sufferin’ that ailed him—he looked a sufferer from +remorse, and regret, and also had the air of one whom mortification has +stricken. +</p> + +<p> +He never seemed to sense a thing that wuz passin’ by him, till the driver +pulled up his horses clost by him, and then he looked up and see us. And far be +it from me to describe the way he looked in his lowly place on the grass. There +wuz a good stun by him on which he might have sot, but no, he seemed to feel +too mean to get up onto that stun; grass, lowly, unassumin’ grass, wuz +what seemed to suit him best, and on it he sot with one of his feet stretched +out in front of him. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! the pitifulness of that look he gin us, oh! the meakinness of it. And even, +when his eye fell on the Deacon a settin’ by my side, oh! the wild gleam +of hatred, and sullen anger that glowed within his orb, and revenge! He looked +at the Deacon, and then at his boots, and I see the wild thought wuz a +enterin’ his sole, to throw that boot at him. But I says out of that +buggy the very first thing the words I have so oft spoke to him in hours of +danger: +</p> + +<p> +“Joisiah, be calm!” +</p> + +<p> +His eye fell onto the peaceful grass agin, and he says: “Who hain’t +a bein’ calm? I should say I wuz calm enough, if that is what you +want.” +</p> + +<p> +But, oh, the sullenness of that love. +</p> + +<p> +Says Ezra, good man—he see right through it all in a minute, and so did +Druzilla and the Deacon—says Ezra, “Get up on the seat with the +driver, Josiah Allen, and drive back with us.” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” says Josiah, “I have no occasion, I am a settin’ +here,” (looking round in perfect agony) “I am a settin’ here +to admire the scenery.” +</p> + +<p> +Then I leaned over the side of the buggy, and says I, “Josiah Allen, do +you get in and ride, it will kill you to walk back; put on your boots if you +can, and ride, seein’ Ezra is so perlite as to ask you.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, I see he is very perlite, I see you have set amongst very perlite +folks, Samantha,” says he, a glarin’ at Deacon Balch as if he would +rend him from lim to lim, “But as I said, I have no occasion to ride, I +took off my boots and stockin’s merely—merely to pass away time. +You know at fashionable resorts,” says he, “it is sometimes hard +for men to pass away time.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I in low, deep accents, “Do put on your stockin’s, and your +boots, if you can get ’em on, which I doubt, but put your stockin’s +on this minute, and get in, and ride.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” says Ezra, “hurry up and get in, Josiah Allen, it must +be dretful oncomfortabe a settin’ down there in the grass.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, no!” says Josiah, and he kinder whistled a few bars of no tune +that wuz ever heard on, or ever will be heard on agin, so wild and meloncholy +it wuz—“I sot down here kind o’ careless. I thought +seein’ I hadn’t much on hand to do at this time o’ year, I +thought I would like to look at my feet—we hain’t got a very big +lookin’ glass in our room.” +</p> + +<p> +Oh, how incoherent and over-crazed he was a becomin’! Who ever heard of +seein’ anybody’s feet in a lookin’ glass—of +dependin’ on a lookin’ glass for a sight on ’em? Oh, how I +pitied that man! and I bent down and says to him in soothin’ axents: +“Josiah Allen, to please your pardner you put on your stockin’s and +get into this buggy. Take your boots in your hand, Josiah, I know you +can’t get ’em on, you have walked too far for them corns. Corns +that are trampled on, Josiah Allen, rise up and rends you, or me, or anybody +else who owns ’em or tramples on ’em. It hain’t your fault, +nobody blames you. Now get right in.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, do,” says the Deacon. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! the look that Josiah Allen gin him. I see the voyolence of that look, that +rested first on the Deacon, and then on that, boot. +</p> + +<p> +And agin I says, “Josiah Allen.” And agin the thought of his own +feerful acts, and my warnin’s came over him, and again mortification +seemed to envelop him like a mantilly, the tabs goin’ down and +coverin’ his lims—and agin he didn’t throw that boot. Agin +Deacon Balch escaped oninjured, saved by my voice, and Josiah’s inward +conscience, inside of him. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, suffice it to say, that after a long parley, Josiah Allen wuz a +settin’ on the high seat with the driver, a holdin’ his boots in +his hand, for truly no power on earth could have placed them boots on Josiah +Allen’s feet in the condition they then wuz. +</p> + +<p> +And so he rode on howewards, occasionally a lookin’ down on the Deacon +with looks that I hope the recordin’ angel didn’t photograph, so +dire, and so revengeful, and jealous, and—and everything, they wuz. And +ever, after ketchin’ the look in my eye, the look in his’n would +change to a heart-rendin’ one of remorse, and sorrow, and shame for what +he had done. And the Deacon, wantin’ to be dretful perlite to him, would +ask him questions, and I could see the side of Josiah’s face, all +glarin’ like a hyena at the sound of his voice, and then he would turn +round and ossume a perlite genteel look as he answered him, and then he glare +at me in a mad way every time I spoke to the Deacon, and then his mad look +would change, even to one of shame and meakinness. And he in his stockin’ +feet, and a pertendin’ that he didn’t put his boots on, because it +wuzn’t wuth while to put ’em on agin so near bed-time. And he that +sot out that afternoon a feelin’ so haughty, and lookin’ down on +Ezra and Druzilla, and bein’ brung back by ’em, in that +condition—and bein’ goured all the time by thoughts of the +ignominious way his flirtin’ had ended, by her droppin’ him by the +side of the road, like a weed she had trampled on too hardly. And a bein’ +gourded deeper than all the rest of his agonies, by a senseless jealousy of +Deacon Balch—and a thinkin’ for the first time in his life, what it +would be, if her affections, that had been like a divine beacon to him all his +life, if that flame should ever go out, or ever flicker in its earthly +socket—oh, those thoughts that he had seemed to consider in his own mad +race for fashion—oh, how that sass that had seemed sweet to him as a +gander, oh how bitter and poisonous it wuz to partake of as a goose. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! the agony of that ride. We went middlin’ slow back—and before +we got to Saratoga the English girl went past us, she had been to the Sulphur +Springs and back agin. She didn’t pay no attention to us, for she wuz +alayin’ on a plan in her own mind, for a moonlight pedestrian excursion +on foot, that evenin’, out to the old battle ground of Saratoga. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah never looked to the right hand or the left, as she passed him, at many, +many a knot an hour. And I felt that my pardner’s sufferin from that +cause was over, and mine too, but oh! by what agony wuz it gained. For 3 days +and 3 nights he never stood on any of his feet for a consecutive minute and a +half, and I bathed him with anarky, and bathed his very soul with many a sweet +moral lesson at the same time. And when at last Josiah Allen emerged from that +chamber, he wuz a changed man in his demeanor and liniment, such is the power +of love and womanly devotion. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image29.gif" height="277" width="454" alt="Sore feet" /> +</div> + +<p> +He never looked at a woman durin’ our hull stay at Saratoga, save with +the eye of a philosopher and a Methodist. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image30.gif" height="283" width="443" alt="Changed man" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap10"></a>Chapter X.<br/> +MISS G. WASHINGTON FLAMM.</h2> + +<p> +Miss G. Washington Flamm is a very fashionable woman. Thomas Jefferson carried +her through a law-suit, and carried her stiddy and safe. (She wuz in the right +on’t, there haint no doubt of that.) +</p> + +<p> +She had come to Jonesville for the summer to board, her husband bein’ to +home at the time in New York village, down on Wall street. He had to stay +there, so she said. I don’t know why, but s’pose sunthin’ wuz +the matter with the wall; anyway he couldn’t leave it. And she went round +to different places a good deal for her health. There didn’t seem to be +much health round where her husband wuz, so she had to go away after it, go a +huntin’ for it, way over to Europe and back ag’in; and away off to +California, and Colorado, and Long Branch, and Newport, and Saratoga, and into +the Country. It made it real bad for Miss Flamm. +</p> + +<p> +Now I always found it healthier where Josiah wuz than in any other place. +Difference in folks I s’pose. But they say there is sights and sights of +husbands and wives jest like Miss Flamm. Can’t find a mite of health +anywhere near where their families is, and have to poke off alone after it. It +makes it real bad for ’em. +</p> + +<p> +But anyway she came to Jonesville for her health. And she hearn of Thomas +Jefferson and employed him. It wuz money that fell onto her from her father, or +that should have fell, that she wuz a tryin’ to git it to fall. And he +won the case. It fell. She wuz rich as a Jew before she got this money, but she +acted as tickled over it as if she wuzn’t worth a cent. (Human nater.) +She paid Thomas J. well and she and Maggie and he got to be quite good friends. +</p> + +<p> +She is a well-meanin’, fat little creeter, what there is of her. I have +seen folks smaller than she is, and then ag’in we seen them that +wuzn’t so small. She is middlin’ good lookin’, not old by any +means, but there is a deep wrinkle plowed right into her forward, and down each +side of her mouth. They are plowed deep. And I have always wondered to myself +who held the plow. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz’nt age, for she haint old enough. Wuz it Worry? That will do as +good a day’s work a plowin’ as any creeter I ever see, and work as +stiddy after it gits to doin’ day’s works in a female’s face. +</p> + +<p> +Waz it Dissatisfaction and Disappointment? They, too, will plow deep furrows +and a sight of ’em. I don’t know what it wuz. Mebby it wuz her +waist and sleeves. Her sleeves wuz so tight that they kep’ her hands +lookin’ a kinder bloated and swelled all the time, and must have been +dretful painful. And her waist—it wuz drawed in so at the bottom, that to +tell the livin’ truth it wuzn’t much bigger’n a pipe’s +tail. It beat all to see the size immegatly above and below, why it looked +perfectly meraculous. She couldn’t get her hands up to her head to save +her life; if she felt her head a tottlin’ off her shoulders she +couldn’t have lifted her hands to have stiddied it, and, of course, she +couldn’t get a long breath, or short ones with any comfort. +</p> + +<p> +Mebby that worried her, and then ag’in, mebby it wuz dogs. I know it +would wear me out to take such stiddy care on one, day and night. I never +seemed to feel no drawin’s to take care of animals, wash ’em, and +bathe ’em, and exercise ’em, etc., etc., never havin’ been in +the menagery line and Josiah always keepin’ a boy to take care of the +animals when he wuzn’t well. Mebby it wuz dogs. Anyway she took splendid +care of hern, jest wore herself out a doin’ for it stiddy day and night +and bein’ trampled on, and barked at almost all the time she wuz a +bringin’ on it up. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, she took perfectly wonderful care on’t, for a woman in her health. +She never had been able to take any care of her children, bein’ <i>very</i> +delicate. Never had been well enough to have any of ’em in the room with +her nights, or in the day time either. They tired her so, and she wuz one of +the wimmen who felt it wuz her <i>duty</i> to preserve her health for her +family’s sake. Though <i>when</i> they wuz a goin’ to get the benefit of +her health I don’t know. +</p> + +<p> +But howsumever she never could take a mite of care of her children, they wuz +brought up on wet nurses, and bottles, etc., etc., and wuz rather weakly, some +on ’em. The nurses, wet and dry ones both, used to gin ’em things +to make ’em sleep, and kinder yank ’em round and scare ’em +nights to keep ’em in the bed, and neglect ’em a good deal, and +keep ’em out in the brilin’ sun when they wanted to see their bows; +and for the same reeson keepin’ em out in their little thin dresses in +the cold, and pinch their little arms black and blue if they went to tell any +of their tricks. And they learnt the older ones to be deceitful and sly and +cowerdly. Learnt ’em to use jest the same slang phrases and low language +that they did; tell the same lies, and so they wuz a spilin’ ’em in +every way; spilin’ their brains with narcotics, their bodies by neglect +and bad usage, and their minds and morals by evil examples. +</p> + +<p> +You see some nurses are dretful good. But Miss Flamm’s health bein’ +so poor and her mind bein’ so took up with fashion, dogs, etc., that she +couldn’t take the trouble to find out about their characters and they wuz +dretful poor unbeknown to her. She had dretful bad luck with ’em, and the +last one drinked, so I have been told. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, it made it dretful bad for Miss Flamm that her health was so poor, and her +fashionable engagements so many and arduous that she didn’t have the time +to take a little care of her children and the dog too. For you could see plain, +by the care that she took of that dog, what a splendid hand she would be with +the children, if she only had the time and health. +</p> + +<p> +Why, I don’t believe there wuz another dog in America, either the upper +or lower continent, that had more lovin’, anxus, intelligent, devoted +attention than that dog had, day and night, from Miss Flamm. She took 2 dog +papers, so they say, to get the latest information on the subject; she compared +notes with other dog wimmen, I don’t say it in a runnin’ way at +all. I mean wimmen who have gin their hull minds to dog, havin’, some on +’em, renounced husbands, and mothers, and children for dog sake. +</p> + +<p> +You know there are sich wimmen, and Miss Flamm read up and studied with +constant and absorbed attention all the latest things on dog. Their habits, +their diet, their baths, their robes, their ribbons, and bells, and collars, +their barks—nothin’ escaped her; she put the best things she +learned into practice, and studied out new ones for herself. She said she had +reduced the subject to a science, and she boasted proudly that her dog, the +last one she had, went ahead of any dog in the country. And I don’t know +but it did. I knew it had a good healthy bark. A loud strong bark that must +have made it bad for her in the night. It always slept with her, for she +didn’t dast to trust it out of her sight nights. It had had some spells +in the night, kinder chills, or spuzzums like, and she didn’t dast to be +away from it for a minute. +</p> + +<p> +She wouldn’t let the wet nurse tech it, for her youngest child, little G. +Washington Flamm, Jr., wuzn’t very healthy, and Miss Flamm thought that +mebby the dog might ketch his weakness if the nurse handled it right after she +had been nursin’ the baby. And then she objected to the nurse, so I +hearn, on account of her bein’ wet. She wanted to keep the dog dry. I +hearn this; I don’t know as it wuz so. But I hearn these things long +enough before I ever see her. And when I did see her I see that they +didn’t tell me no lies about her devotion to the dog, for she jest +worshiped it, that was plain to be seen. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, she has got a splendid place at Saratoga; a cottage she calls it. <i>I</i>, +myself, should call it a house, for it is big as our house and Deacon +Peddick’ses and Mr. Bobbett’ses all put together, and I don’t +know but bigger. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, she invited Josiah and me to drive with her, and so her dog and she +stopped for us. (I put the dog first, for truly she seemed to put him forward +on every occasion in front of herself, and so did her high-toned relatives, who +wuz with her.) +</p> + +<p> +Or I s’pose they wuz her relatives for they sot up straight, and wuz +dretful dressed up, and acted awful big-feelin’ and never took no notice +of Josiah and me, no more than if we hadn’t been there. But good land! I +didn’t care for that. What if they didn’t pay any attention to us? +But Josiah, on account of his tryin’ to be so fashionable, felt it +deeply, and he sez to me while Miss Flamm wuz a bendin’ down over the +dog, a talkin’ to him, for truly it wuz tired completely out a +barkin’ at Josiah, it had barked at him every single minute sense we had +started, and she wuz a talkin’ earnest to it a tryin’ to soothe it, +and Josiah whispered to me, “I’ll tell you, Samantha, why them +fellers feel above me; it is because I haint dressed up in sech a dressy +fashion. Let me once have on a suit like their’n, white legs and yellow +trimmin’s, and big shinin’ buttons sot on in rows, and white +gloves, and rosettes in my hat—why I could appear in jest as good company +as they go in.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image31.gif" height="274" width="407" alt="In the Carriage" /> +</div> + +<p> +Sez I, “You are too old to be dressed up so gay, Josiah Allen. There is a +time for all things. Gay buttons and rosettes look well with brown hair and +sound teeth, but they ort to gently pass away when they do. Don’t talk +any more about it, Josiah, for I tell you plain, you are too old to dress like +them, they are young men.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” he whispered, in deep resolve, “I will have a white +rosette in my hat, Samantha. I will go so far, old or not old. What a sensation +it will create in the Jonesville meetin’-house to see me come a +walkin’ proudly in, with a white rosette in my hat.” +</p> + +<p> +“You are goin’ to walk into meetin’ with your hat on, are +you?” sez I coldly. +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, ketch a feller up. You know what I mean. And don’t you think +I’ll make a show? Won’t it create a sensation in Jonesville?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I: “Most probable it would. But you haint a goin’ to wear no +bows on your hat at your age, not if I can break it up,” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +He looked almost black at me, and sez he, “Don’t go too fur, +Samantha! I’ll own you’ve been a good wife and mother and all that, +but there is a line that you must stop at. You <i>mustn’t</i> go too fur. There +is some things in which a man must be footloose, and that is in the matter of +dress. I shall have a white rosette on my hat, and some big white buttons up +and down the back of my overcoat! That is my aim, Samantha, and I shall reach +it if I walk through goar.” +</p> + +<p> +He uttered them fearful words in a loud fierce whisper which made the dog bark +at him for more’n ten minutes stiddy, at the top of its voice, and in +quick short yelps. +</p> + +<p> +If it had been her young child that wuz yellin’ at a visitor in that way +and ketchin’ holt of him, and tearin’ at his clothes, the child +would have been consigned to banishment out of the room, and mebby punishment. +But it wuzn’t her babe and so it remained, and it dug its feet down into +the satin and laces and beads of Miss Flamm’s dress, and barked to that +extent that we couldn’t hear ourselves think. +</p> + +<p> +And she called it “sweet little angel,” and told it it might +“bark its little cunnin’ bark.” The idee of a angel +barkin’; jest think on’t. And we endured it as best we could with +shakin’ nerves and achin’ earpans. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a curius time. The dog harrowin’ our nerve, and snappin’ at +Josiah anon, if not oftener, and ketchin’ holt of him anywhere, and she a +callin’ it a angel; and Josiah a lookin’ so voyalent at it, that it +seemed almost as if that glance could stun it. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a curius seen. But truly worse wuz to come, for Miss Flamm in an +interval of silence, sez, “We will go first to the Gizer Spring, and +then, afterwards, to the Moon.” +</p> + +<p> +Or, that is what I understand her to say. And though I kep’ still, I wuz +determined to keep my eyes out, and if I see her goin’ into anything +dangerus, I wuz goin’ to reject her overtures to take us. But thinkses I +to myself, “We always said I believed we should travel to the stars some +time, but I little thought it would be to-day, or that I should go in a +buggy.” +</p> + +<p> +Josiah shared my feelin’s I could see, for he whispered to me, +“Don’t le’s go, Samantha, it must be dangerus!” +</p> + +<p> +But I whispered back, “Le’s wait, Josiah, and see. We won’t +do nothin’ percipitate, but,” sez I, “this is a chance that +we most probable never will have ag’in. Don’t le’s be +hasty.” We talked these things in secret, while Miss Flamm wuz a +bendin’ over, and conversin’ with the dog. For Josiah would ruther +have died than not be s’pozed to be “Oh Fay,” as Maggie would +say, in everything fashionable. And it has always been my way to wait and see, +and count 10, or even 20, before speakin’. +</p> + +<p> +And then Miss Flamin sez sunthin’ about what beautiful fried potatoes you +could get there in the moon, and you could always get them, any time you wanted +’em. +</p> + +<p> +And the very next time she went to kissin’ the dog so voyalently as not +to notice us, my Josiah whispered to me and sez, “Did you have any idee +that wuz what the old man wuz a doin’? I knew he wuz always a +settin’ up there in the moon, but it never passed my mind that he wuz a +fryin’ potatoes.” +</p> + +<p> +But I sez, “Keep still, Josiah. It is a deep subject, a great +undertakin’, and it requires caution and deliberation.” +</p> + +<p> +But he sez,”I haint a goin’, Samantha! Nor I haint a goin’ to +let you go. It is dangerus.” +</p> + +<p> +But I kinder nudged him, for she had the dog down on her lap, and was ready to +resoom conversation. And about that time we got to the entrance of the spring, +and one of her relatives got down and opened the carriage door. +</p> + +<p> +I wondered ag’in that she didn’t introduce us. But I didn’t +care if she didn’t. I felt that I wuz jest as good as they wuz, if they +wuz so haughty. But Josiah wantin’ to make himself agreeable to ’em +(he hankers after gettin’ into high society), he took off his hat and +bowed low to ’em, before he got out, and sez he, “I am proud to +know you, sir,” and tried to shake hands with him. But the man rejected +his overtoors and looked perfectly wooden, and oninterested. A +big-feelin’, high-headed creeter. Josiah Allen is as good as he is any +day. And I whispered to him and sez, “Don’t demean yourself by +tryin’ to force your company onto them any more.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” he whispered back, “I do love to move in high +circles.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Then I shouldn’t think you would be so afraid of the +undertakin’ ahead on us. If neighborin’ with the old man in the +moon, and eatin’ supper with him, haint movin’ in high circles, +then I don’t know what is.” +</p> + +<p> +“But I don’t want to go into anything dangerus,” sez he. +</p> + +<p> +But jest then Miss Flamm.spoke to me, and I moved forward by her side and into +a middlin’ big room, and in the middle wuz a great sort of a well like, +with the water a bubblin’ up into a clear crystal globe, and a +sprayin’ up out of it, in a slender misty sparklin’ spray. It wuz a +pretty sight. And we drinked a glass full of it a piece, and then we wandered +out of the back door-way, and went down into the pretty; old-fashioned garden +back of the house. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah and me and Miss Flamm went. The dog and the two relatives didn’t +seem to want to go. The relatives sot up there straight as two sticks, one of +’em holdin’ the dog, and they didn’t even look round at us. +</p> + +<p> +“Felt too big to go with us,” sez Josiah, bitterly, as we went down +the steps. “They won’t associate with me.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I wouldn’t care if I wuz in your place, Josiah Allen,” +sez I, “you are jest as good as they be, and I know it.” +</p> + +<p> +“You couldn’t make ’em think so, dumb ’em,” sez +he. +</p> + +<p> +I liked the looks of it down there. It seems sometimes as if Happiness gets +kinder homesick, in the big dusty fashionable places, and so goes back to the +wild, green wood, and kinder wanders off, and loafs round, amongst the pine +trees, and cool sparklin’ brooks and wild flowers and long shinin’ +grasses and slate stuns, and etc., etc. +</p> + +<p> +I don’t believe she likes it half so well up in the big hotel gardens or +Courtin’ yards, as she does down there. You see it seems as if Happiness +would have to be more dressed up, up there, and girted down, and stiff +actin’, and on her good behavior, and afraid of actin’ or +lookin’ onfashionable. But down here by the side of the quiet little +brook, amongst the cool, green grasses, fur away from diamonds, and satins, and +big words, and dogs, and parasols, and so many, many that are a chasin’ +of her and a follerin’ of her up, it seemed more as if she loved to get +away from it all, and get where she could take her crown off, lay down her +septer, onhook her corset, and put on a long loose gown, and lounge round and +enjoy herself (metafor). +</p> + +<p> +We had a happy time there. We went over the little rustick bridges which would +have been spilte in my eyes if they had been rounded off on the edges, or a +mite of paint on ’em. Truly, I felt that I had seen enough of paint and +gildin’ to last me through a long life, and it did seem such a treat to +me to see a board ag’in, jest a plain rough bass-wood board, and some +stuns a lyin’ in the road, and some deep tall grass that you had to sort +a wade through. +</p> + +<p> +Miss Flamm seemed to enjoy it some down there, though she spoke of the dog, +which she had left up with her relatives. +</p> + +<p> +“3 big-feelin’ ones together,” I whispered to Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +And he sez, “Yes, that dog is a big-feelin’ little cuss-tomer. And +if I wuz a chipmunk he couldn’t bark at me no more than he duz.” +</p> + +<p> +And I looked severe at Josiah and sez I, “If you don’t jine your +syllables closer together you will see trouble, Josiah Allen. You’ll find +yourself swearin’ before you know it.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh shaw, sez he, “customer haint a swearin’ word; ministers +use it. I’ve hearn ’em many a time.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez I, “but they don’t draw it out as you did, +Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh! wall! Folks can’t always speak up pert and quick when they are +off on pleasure exertions and have been barked at as long as I have been. But +now I’ve got a minutes chance,” sez he, “let me tell you +ag’in, don’t you make no arraingments to go to the Moon. It is +dangerus, and I won’t go myself, nor let you go.” +</p> + +<p> +“<i>Let</i>,” sez I to myself. “That is rather of a gaulin’ +word to me. Won’t <i>let</i> me go.” But then I thought ag’in, and +thought how love and tenderness wuz a dictatin’ the term, and I thought +to myself, it has a good sound to me, I <i>like</i> the word. I love to hear him say +he won’t <i>let</i> me go. +</p> + +<p> +And truly to me it looked hazerdus. But Miss Flamm seemed ready to go on, and +onwillin’ly I followed on after her footsteps. But I looked ’round, +and said “Good-bye” in my heart, to the fine trees, and cleer, +brown waters of the brook, the grass, and the wild flowers, and the sweet peace +that wuz over all. +</p> + +<p> +“Good-bye,” sez I. “If I don’t see you ag’in, +you’ll find some other lover that will appreciate you, though I am fur +away.” +</p> + +<p> +They didn’t answer me back, none on ’em, but I felt that they +understood me. The pines whispered sunthin’ to each other, and the brook +put its moist lips up to the pebbly shore and whispered sunthin’ to the +grasses that bent down to hear it. I don’t know exactly what it wuz, but +it wuz sunthin’ friendly I know, for I felt it speak right through the +soft, summer sunshine into my heart. They couldn’t exactly tell what they +felt towards me, and I couldn’t exactly tell what I felt towards them, +yet we understood each other; curi’us, haint it? +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we got into the carriage ag’in, one of her relatives gettin’ +down to open the door. They knew what good manners is; I’ll say that for +’em. And Miss Flamm took her dog into her arms seemin’ly glad to +get holt of him ag’in, and kissed it several times with a deep love and +devotedness. She takes good care of that dog. And what makes it harder for her +to handle him is, her dress is so tight, and her sleeves. I s’pose that +is why she can’t breathe any better, and what makes her face and hands +red, and kinder swelled up. She can’t get her hands to her head to save +her, and if a assassin should strike her, she couldn’t raise her arm to +ward off the blow if he killed her. I s’pose it worrys her. +</p> + +<p> +And she has to put her bunnet on jest as quick as she gets her petticoats on, +for she can’t lift he arms to save her life after she gets her corsets +on. She owned up to me once that it made her feel queer to be a walkin’ +’round her room with not much on only her bunnet all trimmed off with +high feathers and artificial flowers. +</p> + +<p> +But she said she wuz willing to do anythin’ <i>necessary</i>, and she felt that +she <i>must</i> have her waist taper, no matter what stood in the way on’t. She +loves the looks of a waist that tapers. That wuz all the fault she found with +the Goddus of Liberty enlightenin’ the world in New York Harber. We got +to talkin’ about it and she said, “If that Goddus only had corsets +on, and sleeves that wuz skin tight, and her overskirt looped back over a +bustle, it would be perfect!” +</p> + +<p> +But I told her I liked her looks as well ag’in as she wuz. +“Why,” sez I, “How could she lift her torch above her head? +And how could she ever enlighten the world, if she wuz so held down by her +corsets and sleeves that she couldn’t wave her torch?” +</p> + +<p> +She see in a minute that it couldn’t be done. She owned up that she +couldn’t enlighten the world in that condition, but as fur as looks went, +it would be perfectly beautiful. +</p> + +<p> +But I don’t think so at all. But, as I say, Miss Flamm has a real hard +time on’t, all bard down as she is, and takin’ all the care of that +dog, day and night. She is jest devoted to it. +</p> + +<p> +Why jest before we started a little lame girl with a shabby dress, but a face +angel sweet, came to the side of the carriage to sell some water lilies. Her +face looked patient, and wistful, and she jest held out her flowers silently, +and stood with her bare feet on the wet ground and her pretty eyes +lookin’ pitifully into our’n. She wanted to sell ’em awfully, +I could see. And I should have bought the hull of ’em immegitly, my +feelin’s was sech, but onfortionably I had left my port-money in my other +pocket, and Josiah said he had left his (mebby he had). But Miss Flamm would +have bought ’em in a minute, I knew, the child’s face looked so +mournful and appealin’; she would have bought ’em, but she wuz so +engrossed by the dog; she wuz a holdin’ him up in front of her a +admirin’ and carressin’ of him, so’s she never ketched sight +of the lame child. +</p> + +<p> +No body, not the best natured creeter in the world, can see through a dog when +it is held clost up to the eye, closer than anything else. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we drove down to what they called Vichy Spring and there on a pretty pond +clost to the springhouse, we see a boat with a bycycle on it, and a boy a +ridin’ it. The boat wuz rigged out to look like a swan with its wings a +comin’ up each side of the boy. And down on the water, a sailin’ +along closely and silently wuz another swan, a shadow swan, a follerin’ +it right along. It wuz a fair seen. +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah sez to me, “He should ride that boat before he left Saratoga; +he said that wuz a undertakin’ that a man might be proud to +accomplish.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Josiah Allen, don’t you do anything of the kind.” +</p> + +<p> +“I <i>must</i>, Samantha,” sez he. And then he got all animated about +fixin’ up a boat like it at home. Sez he, “Don’t you think it +would be splendid to have one on the canal jest beyond the orchard?” And +sez he, “Mebby, bein’ on a farm, it would be more appropriate to +have a big goose sculptured out on it; don’t you think so?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Yes, it would be fur more appropriate, and a goose a ridin’ +on it. But,” sez I, “you will never go into that undertakin’ +with my consent, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why,” sez he, “it would be a beautiful recreation; so +uneek.” +</p> + +<p> +But at that minute Miss Flamm gin the order to turn round and start for the +Moon, or that is how I understood her, and I whispered to Josiah and sez, +“She means to go in the buggy, for the land’s sake!” +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah sez, “Wall, I haint a goin’ and you haint. I won’t +let you go into anythin’ so dangerus. She will probably drive into a +baloon before long, and go up in that way, but jest before she drives in, you +and I will get out, Samantha, if we have to walk back.” +</p> + +<p> +“I never heard of anybody goin’ up in a baloon with two horses and +a buggy,” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, new things are a happenin’ all the time, Samantha. And I +heard a feller a talkin’ about it yesterday. You know they are a +havin’ the big political convention here, and he said, (he wuz a real +cute chap too,) he said, ‘if the wind wasted in that convention could be +utilized by pipes goin’ up out of the ruff of that buildin’ where +it is held,’ he said, ‘it would take a man up to the moon.’ I +heerd him say it. And now, who knows but they have got it all fixed. There wuz +dretful windy speeches there this mornin’. I hearn ’em, and +I’ll bet that is her idee, of bein’ the first one to try it; she is +so fashionable. But I haint a goin’ up in no sech a way.” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez I. “Nor I nuther. It would be fur from my wishes to +be carried up to the skies on the wind of a political convention. +“Though,” sez I reasonably, “I haint a doubt that there wuz +sights, and sights of it used there.” +</p> + +<p> +But jest at this minute Miss Flamm got through talkin’ with her relatives +about the road, and settled down to caressin’ the dog ag’in, and +Josiah hadn’t time to remark any further, only to say, “Watch me, +Samantha, and when I say jump, jump.” +</p> + +<p> +And then we sot still but watchful. And Miss Flamm kissed the dog several times +and pressed him to her heart that throbbed full of such a boundless love for +him. And he lifted his head and snapped at a fly, and barked at my companion +with a renewed energy, and showed his intellect and delightful qualities in +sech remarkable ways, that filled Miss Flamm’s soul deep with a proud joy +in him. And then he went to sleep a layin, down in her lap, a mashin’ +down the delicate lace and embroidery and beads. He had been a eating the +beads, I see him gnaw off more than two dozen of ’em, and I called her +attention to it, but she said, “The dear little darlin’ had to have +some such recreation.” And she let him go on with it, a mowin’ +’em down, as long as he seemed to have a appetite for ’em. And +ag’in she called him “angel.” The idee of a angel a +gnawin’ off beads and a yelpin’! +</p> + +<p> +And I asked her, and I couldn’t help it. How her baby wuz that afternoon, +and if she ever took it out to drive? +</p> + +<p> +And she said she didn’t really know how it wuz this afternoon; it +wuzn’t very well in the mornin’. The nurse had it out somewhere, +she didn’t really know just where. And she said, no, she didn’t +take it out with her at all—fur she didn’t feel equal to the care +of it, in this hot weather. +</p> + +<p> +Miss Flamm haint very well I could see that. The care of that dog is jest a +killin’ her, a carryin’ it round with her all the time daytimes, +and a bein’ up with it so much nights. She said it had a dretful chill +the night before, and she had to get up to warm blankets to put round it; +“its nerves wuz so weak,” she said, “and it wuz so sensative +that she could not trust it to a nurse.” She has a hard time of it; there +haint a doubt of it. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, it wuz anon, or jest about anon, that Miss Flamm turned to me and sez, +“Moon’s is one of the pleasantest places on the lake. I want you to +see it; folks drive out there a sight from Saratoga.” +</p> + +<p> +And then I looked at Josiah, and Josiah looked at me, and peace and happiness +settled down ag’in onto our hearts. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we got there considerably before anon and we found that Moon’s +insted of bein’ up in another planet wuz a big, long sort a low +buildin’ settled right down onto this old earth, with a immense piazza +stretchin’ along the side on’t. +</p> + +<p> +And Miss Flamm and Josiah and me disembarked from the carriage right onto the +end of it. But the dog and her relatives stayed back in the buggy and Josiah +spoke bitterly to me ag’in but low, “They think it would hurt +’em to associate with me a little, dumb ’m; but I am jest as good +as they be any day of the week, if I haint dressed up so fancy.” +</p> + +<p> +“That’s so,” sez I, whisperin’ back to him, “and +don’t let it worry you a mite. Don’t try to act like Haman,” +sez I. “You are havin’ lots of the good things of this world, and +are goin’ to have some fried potatoes. Don’t let them two Mordecais +at the gate, poison all your happiness, or you may get come up with jest as +Haman wuz.” +</p> + +<p> +“I’d love to hang’em,” sez he, “as high as +Haman’s gallows would let ’em hang.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why,” sez I, “they haint injured you in any way. They seem +to eat like perfect gentlemen. A little too exclusive and aristocratic, mebby, +but they haint done nothin’ to you.” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez he, “that is the stick on it, here we be, three men +with a lot of wimmen. And they can’t associate with me as man with man, +but set off by themselves too dumb proud to say a word to me, that is the dumb +of it.” +</p> + +<p> +But at this very minute, before I could rebuke him for his feerful profanity, +Miss Flamm motioned to us to come and take a seat round a little table, and +consequently we sot. +</p> + +<p> +It was a long broad piazza with sights and sights of folks on it a +settin’ round little tables like our’n, and all a lookin’ +happy, and a laughin’, and a talkin’ and a drinkin’ different +drinks, sech as lemonade, etc., and eatin’ fried potatoes and sech. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image32.gif" height="293" width="372" alt="The Piazza" /> +</div> + +<p> +And out in the road by which we had come, wuz sights and sights of vehicles and +conveyances of all kinds from big Tally Ho coaches with four horses on +’em, down to a little two wheeled buggy. The road wuz full on’em. +</p> + +<p> +In front of us, down at the bottom of a steep though beautiful hill, lay +stretched out the clear blue waters of the lake. Smooth and tranquil it looked +in the light of that pleasant afternoon, and fur off, over the shinin’ +waves, lay the island. And white-sailed boats wuz a sailin’ slowly by, +and the shadow of their white sails lay down in the water a floatin’ on +by the side of the boats, lookin’ some like the wings of that white dove +that used to watch over Lake Saratoga. +</p> + +<p> +And as I looked down on the peaceful seen, the feelin’s I had down in the +wild wood, back of the Gizer Spring come back to me. The waves rolled in softly +from fur off, fur off, bringin’ a greetin’ to me unbeknown to +anybody, unbeknown to me. It come into my heart unbidden, unsought, from afur, +afur. +</p> + +<p> +Where did it come from that news of lands more beautiful than any that lay +round Mr. Moons’es, beautiful as it wuz. +</p> + +<p> +Echoes of music sweeter fur than wuz a soundin’ from the band down by the +shore, music heard by some finer sense than heard that, heavenly sweet, +heavenly sad, throbbin’ through the remoteness of that country, through +the nearness of it, and fillin’ my eyes with tears. Not sad tears, not +happy ones, but tears that come only to them that shet their eyes and behold +the country, and love it. The waves softly lappin’ the shore brought a +message to me; my soul hearn it. Who sent it? And where, and when, and why? +</p> + +<p> +Not a trace of these emotions could be read on my countenance as I sot there +calmly a eatin’ fried potatoes. And they <i>did</i> go beyond anything I ever +see in the line of potatoes, and I thought I could fry potatoes with any one: +Yes, such wuz my feelin’s when I sot out for Mr. Moons’es. But I +went back a thinkin’ that potatoes had never been fried by me, sech is +the power of a grand achievment over a inferior one, and so easy is the sails +taken down out of the swellin’ barge of egotism. +</p> + +<p> +No, them potatoes you could carry in your pocket for weeks right by the side of +the finest lace, and the lace would be improved by the purity of ’em. +Fried potatoes in that condition, you could eat ’em with the lightest +silk gloves one and the tips of the fingers would be improved by ’em; +<i>fried</i> potatoes, jest think on’t! +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we had some lemonade too, and if you’ll believe it,—I +don’t s’pose you will but it is the truth,—there wuz straws +in them glasses too. But you may as well believe it for I tell the truth at all +times, and if I wuz a goin’ to lie, I wouldn’t lie about lemons. +And then I’ve always noticed it, that if things git to happenin’ to +you, lots of things jest like it will happen. That made twice in one week or +so, that I had found straws in my tumbler. But then I have had company three +days a runnin’, rainy days too sometimes. It haint nothin’ to +wonder at too much. Any way it is the truth. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we drinked our lemonade, I a quietly takin’ out the straws and +droppin’ ’em on the floor at my side in a quiet ladylike manner, +and Josiah, a bein’ wunk at by me, doin’ the same thing. +</p> + +<p> +And anon, our carriage drove up to the end of the piazza agin and we sot sail +homewards. And the dog barked at Josiah almost every step of the way back, and +when we got to our boardin’ place, Miss Flamm shook hands with us both, +and her relatives never took a mite of notice of us, further than to jump down +and open the carriage door for us as we got out. (They are genteel in their +manners, and Josiah had to admit that they wuz, much as his feelin’s wuz +hurt by their haughtiness towards him.) +</p> + +<p> +And then the dog, and Miss Flamm and Miss Flamm’s relatives drove off. +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap11"></a>Chapter XI.<br/> +VISIT TO THE INDIAN ENCAMPMENT.</h2> + +<p> +It wuz a fair sunshiny mornin’ (and it duz seem to me that the fairness +of a Saratoga mornin’ seems fairer, and the sunshine more sunshiny than +it duz anywhere else), that Josiah and Ardelia and me sot sail for the Indian +Encampment, which wuz encamped on a little rise of ground to the eastward of +where we wuz. +</p> + +<p> +Ardelia wuz to come to our boardin’ place at halfpast 9 A. M., forenoon, +and we wuz to set out together from there. And punctual to the very half minute +I wuz down on the piazza, with my mantilly hung over my arm and my umberel in +my left hand. Josiah Allen was on the right side on me. And as Ardelia +hadn’t come yet we sot down in a middlin’ quiet part of the piazza, +and waited for her. And as we sot there, I sez to Josiah, as I looked out on +the fair pleasant mornin’ and the fair pleasant faces environin’ of +us round, sez I, “Saratoga is a good-natured place, haint it, +Josiah?” +</p> + +<p> +And he said (I mistrust his corns ached worse than common, or sunthin’), +he said, he didn’t see as it wuz any better-natured than Jonesville or +Loontown. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “Yes it is, Josiah Allen.” Sez I, folks are happier here +and more generous, the rich ones seem inclined to help them that need help to a +little comfort and happiness. Jest as I have always said, Josiah Allen. When +folks are happy, they are more inclined to do good.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh shaw!” sez Josiah. “That never made no difference with +me.” +</p> + +<p> +“What didn’t?” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“I’m always good,” sez he, and he snapped out the words real +snappish, and loud. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez mildly, “Wall, you needn’t bring the ruff down to prove +your goodness.” +</p> + +<p> +And he went on: “I don’t see as they are so pesky good here; I +haint seen nothin’ of it.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “when I look over Yaddo, and Hilton Park, it +makes me reconciled, Josiah, to have men get rich; it makes me willin’, +Josiah.” +</p> + +<p> +And he sez (cross), He guessed men would get rich whether I wuz willin’ +or not; he guessed they wouldn’t ask me. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, you needn’t snap my head off, Josiah Allen,” sez I, +“because I love to see folks use their wealth to make pleasant places for +poor folks to wander round in, and forget their own narrow rocky roads for a +spell. It is a noble thing to do, Josiah Allen; they might have built high +walls round ’em if they had been a mind to, and locked the gates and shet +out all the poor and tired-out ones, But they didn’t, and I am highly +tickled at the thought on’t, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I don’t shet up our sugar lot, do I? and I have never heerd +you say one word a praisin’ me up for that.” +</p> + +<p> +“That is far different, Josiah Allen,” sez I, “there is +nothin’ there that can git hurt, only stumps. And you have never laid out +a cent of money on it. And they have spent thousands and thousands of dollars; +and the poorest little child in Saratoga, if it has beauty-lovin’ eyes, +can go in and enjoy these places jest as much as the owners can. And it is a +sweet thought to me, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh wall,” sez he, “you have probable said enough about +it.” +</p> + +<p> +Now I never care for the last word, some wimmen do, but I never do. But still I +wuzn’t goih’ to be shet right eff from talkin’ about these +places, and I intimated as much to him, and he said, “Dumb it all! I +could talk about ’em all day, if I wanted to, and about Demorist’s +Woods too.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “that is another place, Josiah Allen, that is +a likely well-meanin’ spot. Middlin’ curius to look at,” sez +I, reesonably. “It makes one’s head feel sort a strange to see them +criss-cross, curius poles, and floors up in trees, and ladders, and +teterin’ boards, and springs, etc., etc., etc. But it is a +well-meanin’ spot, Josiah Allen. And it highly tickled me to think that +the little fresh air children wuz brung up there by the owner of the woods and +the poor little creeters, out of their dingy dirty homes, and filthy air, +wandered round for one happy day in the green woods, in the fresh air and +sunshine. That wuz a likely thing to do, Josiah Allen, and it raises a man more +in my estimation when he’s doin’ sech things as that, than to set +up in a political high chair, and have a lot of dirty hands clapped, and beery +breaths a cheerin’ him on up the political arena.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh wall,” sez Josiah, “the doin’s in them woods is +enough to make anybody a dumb lunatick. The crazyest lookin’ lot of stuff +I ever set eyes on.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, anyway,” sez I, “it is a <i>good</i> crazy, if it is, and a +well-meanin’ one.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, how cross Josiah Allen did look as he heered me say these words. +That man can’t bear to hear me say one word a praisin’ up another +man, and it grows on him. +</p> + +<p> +But good land! I am a goin’ to speak out my mind as long as my breath is +spared. And I said quite a number of words more about the deep enjoyment it +gin’ me to see these broad, pleasure grounds free for all, rich and poor, +bond and free, hombly and handsome, etc., etc. +</p> + +<p> +And I spoke about the charitable houses, St. Christiana’s home, and the +Home for Old Female Wimmen, and mentioned the fact in warm tones of how a good, +noble-hearted woman had started that charity in the first on’t. +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah, while I wuz talkin’ about these wimmen, became meak as a +lamb. They seemed to quiet him. He looked real mollyfied by the time Ardelia +got there, which wuz anon. And then we sot sail for the Encampment. +</p> + +<p> +The Encampment is encamped on one end of a big, square, wild-lookin’ lot +right back of one of the biggest tarvens in Saratoga. It is jest as wild +lookin’ and appeerin’ a field as there is in the outskirts of +Loontown or Jonesville. Why Uncle Grant Hozzleton’s stunny pasture +don’t look no more sort a broke up and rural than that duz. I wondered +some why they had it there, and then I thought mebby they kep’ it to +remember Nater by, old Nater herself, that runs a pretty small chance to be +thought on in sech a place as this. +</p> + +<p> +You know there is so much orniment and gildin’ and art in the landscape +and folks, that mebby they might forget the great mother of us all, that is, +right in the thickest of the crowd they might, but they have only to take these +few steps and they will see Ma Nater with her every-day dress on, not fixed up +a mite. And I s’pose she looks good to ’em. +</p> + +<p> +I myself think that Mother Nater might smooth herself out a little there with +no hurt to herself or her children. I don’t believe in Mas goin’ +round with their dresses onhooked, and slip-shod, and their hair all +stragglin’ out of their combs. (I say this in metafor. I don’t +spose Ma Nater ever wore a back comb or had hooks and eyes on her gown; I say +it for oritory, and would wish to be took in a oritorius way. +</p> + +<p> +And I don’t say right out, that the reeson I have named is the one why +they keep that place a lookin’ so like furey, I said, <i>mebby</i>. But I will +say this, that it is a wild-lookin’ spot, and hombly. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, on the upper end on’t, standin’ up on the top of a sort of a +hill, the Indian Encampment is encamped. There is a hull row of little stores, +and there is swings, and public diversions of different kinds, krokay grounds, +etc., etc., etc. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Ardelia stopped at one of these stores kep’ by a Injun, not a West, +but a East one, and began to price some wooden bracelets, and try ’em on, +and Josiah and me wandered on. +</p> + +<p> +And anon, we came to a tent with some good verses of Scripter on it; good solid +Bible it wuz; and so I see it wuz a good creeter in there anyway. And I asked a +bystander a standin’ by, Who wuz in there, and Why, and When? +</p> + +<p> +And he said it wuz a fortune-teller who would look in the pamm of my hand, and +tell me all my fortune that wuz a passin’ by. And I said I guessed I +would go in, for I would love to know how the children wuz that mornin’ +and whether the baby had got over her cold. I hadn’t heerd from ’em +in over two days. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah kinder hung ’round outside though he wuz willin’ to have me +go in. He jest worships the children and the baby. And he sees the texts from +Job on it, with his own eyes. +</p> + +<p> +So I bid him a affectionate farewell, and we see the woman a lookin’ out +of the tent and witnessin’ on’t. But I didn’t care. If a pair +of companions and a pair of grandparents can’t act affectionate, who can? +And the world and the Social Science meetin’ might try in vain to bring +up any reeson why they shouldn’t. +</p> + +<p> +So I went in, with my mind all took up with the grandchildern. But the first +words she sez to me wuz, as she looked close at the pamm of my hand, +“Keep up good spirits, Mom; you will get him in spite of all +opposition.” +</p> + +<p> +“Get who?” sez I, “And what?” +</p> + +<p> +“A man you want to marry. A small baldheaded man, a +amiable-lookin’, slender man. His heart is sot on you. And all the +efferts of the light-complected woman in the blue hat will be in vain to break +it up. Keep up good courage, you will marry him in spite of all,” sez +she, porin’ over my pamm and studyin’ it as if it wuz a jography. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image33.gif" height="310" width="282" alt="The Fortuneteller" /> +</div> + +<p> +“For the land’s sake!” sez I, bein’ fairly stunted with +the idees she promulgated. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, you will marry him, and be happy. But you have had a sickness in +the past and your line of happiness has been broken once or twice.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “I should think as much; let a woman live with a man, the best man +in the world for 20 years, and if her line of happiness haint broke more than +once or twice, why it speaks well for the line, that is all. It is a good, +strong line.” +</p> + +<p> +“Then you have been married?” says she. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, Mom,” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, I see, down in the corner of your hand is a coffin, you are a widow, +you have seen trouble. But you will be happy. The mild, bald gentleman will +make you happy. He will lead you to the altar in spite of the light-complected +woman with the blue bat on.” +</p> + +<p> +Ardelia Tutt had on a blue hat, the idee! But I let her go on. Thinkses I, +“I have paid my money and now it stands me in hand to get the worth +on’t.” So she comferted me up with the hope of gettin’ my +Josiah for quite a spell. +</p> + +<p> +Gettin’ my pardner! Gettin’ the father of my childern, and the +grandparent of my grandchildren! Jest think on’t, will you? +</p> + +<p> +But then she branched off and told me things that wuz truly wonderful. Where +and how she got ’em wuz and is a mistery to me. True things, and strange. +</p> + +<p> +Why it seemed same as if them tall pines, that wuz a whisperin’ together +over the Encampment wuz a peerin’ over into my past, and a +whisperin’ it down to her. Or, in some way or other, the truth wuz a +bein’ filtered down to her comprehension through some avenue beyond our +sense or sight. +</p> + +<p> +It is a curious thing, so I think, and so Josiah thinks. We talked it over +after I came out, and we wuz a wanderin’ on about the Encampment. I told +him some of the wonderful things she had told me and he didn’t believe +it. “For,” sez he, “I’ll be hanged if I can understand +and I won’t believe anything that I can’t understand!” +</p> + +<p> +And I pointed with the top of my umberel at a weed growin’ by the side of +the road, and sez I, “When you tell me jest how that weed draws out of +the back ground jest the ingredients she needs to make her blue foretop, and +her green gown, then I’ll tell you all about this secret that Nater holds +back from us a spell, but will reveel to us when the time comes.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh shaw!” sez Josiah, “I guess I know all about a jimson +weed. Why they <i>grow;</i> that is all there is about them. They grow, dumb +’em. I guess if you’d broke your back as many times as I have a +pullin’ ’em up, yon would know all about’ em. Dumb their dumb +picters,” sez he, a scowlin’ at ’em. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz the same kind of weed that growed in our onion beds. I re<i>cog</i>nized it. +Them and white daisies, our garden wuz overrun by ’em both. +</p> + +<p> +But I sez, “Can you tell how the little seed of this weed goes down into +the earth and <i>selects</i> jest what she wants out of the great storehouse below? +She never comes out in a pink head-dress or a yellow gown. No, she always +selects what will make the blue. It shows that it has life, intelligence, or +else it couldn’t think, way down under the ground, and grope in the dark, +but always gropin’ jest right, always a thinkin’ the right thing, +never, never in the hundreds and thousands of years makin’ a mistake. +Why, you couldn’t do it, Josiah Allen, nor I couldn’t. +</p> + +<p> +“And we set and see these silent mysteries a goin’ on right at our +door-step day by day, and year by year, and think nothin’ of it, because +it is so common. But if anything else, some new law, some new wonder we +don’t understand comes in our way, we are ready to reject it and say it +is a lie. But you know, Josiah Allen,” sez I, jest ready to go on +eloquent - +</p> + +<p> +But I wuz interrupted jest here by my companion hollerin’ up in a loud +voice to a boy, “Here! you stop that, you young scamp! Don’t you +let me see you a doin’ that agin!” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “What is it, Josiah Allen?” +</p> + +<p> +“Why look at them young imps, a throwin’ sticks at that feeble old +woman, over there.” +</p> + +<p> +I looked, and my own heart wuz rousted up with indignation. I stood where I +couldn’t see her face, but I see she wuz old, feeble, and bent, a +withered poor old creeter, and they had marked up over her, her name, Aunt +Sally. +</p> + +<p> +I too wuz burnin’ indignant to see a lot of young creeters a +throwin’ sticks at her, and I cried out loud, “Do you let Sarah +be.” +</p> + +<p> +They turned round and laughed in our faces, and I went on: “I’d be +ashamed of myself if I wuz in your places to be a throwin’ sticks at that +feeble old woman. Why don’t you spend your strengths a tryin’ to do +sunthin’ for her? Git her a home, and sunthin’ to eat, and a better +dress. Before I’d do what you are a doin’ now, I’d growvel in +the dust. Why, if you wuz my boys I’d give you as good a spankin’ +as you ever had.” +</p> + +<p> +But they jest laughed at us, the impudent Greeters. And one of the boys at that +minute took up a stick and threw it, and hit Sarah right on her poor old head. +</p> + +<p> +Sez Josiah, “Don’t you hit Sarah agin.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image34.gif" height="267" width="442" alt="Aunt Sally" /> +</div> + +<p> +Sez the boys, “We will,” and two of ’em hit her at one time. +And one of ’em knocked the pipe right out of her mouth. She wuz a +smokin’, poor old creeter. I s’pose that wuz all the comfort she +took. But did them little imps care? They knocked her as if they hated the +sight of her. And my Josiah (I wuz proud of that man) jest advanced onto +’em, and took ’em one in each hand, and gin ’em sech a +shakin’, that I most expected to see their bones drop out, and sez he +between each shake, “Will you let Sarah alone now?” +</p> + +<p> +I wuz proud of my Josiah, but fearful of the effect of so much voyalence onto +his constitution, and also onto the boys’ frames. And I advanced onto the +seen of carnage and besought him to be calm. Sez he, “I won’t be +calm!” sez he, “I haint the man, Samantha, to stand by and see one +of your sect throwed at, as I have seen Sarah throwed at, without +avengin’ of it.” +</p> + +<p> +And agin he shook them boys with a vehemence. The pennies and marbles in their +pockets rattled and their bones seemed ready to part asunder. I wuz proud of +that noble man, my pardner. But still I knew that if their bones was shattered +my pardner would be avenged upon by incensed parents. And I sez, +“I’d let ’em go now, Josiah. I don’t believe +they’ll ever harm Sarah agin.” Sez I, “Boys, you won’t, +will you ever strike a poor feeble old woman agin?.” Sez I, +“promise me, boys, not to hurt Sarah.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image35.gif" height="350" width="300" alt="Josiah’s Anger" /> +</div> + +<p> +I don’t know what the effect of my words would have been, but a man came +up just then and explained to me, that Aunt Sally wuz a image that they throwed +at for one cent apiece to see if they could break her pipe. +</p> + +<p> +I see how it wuz, and cooled right down, and so did Josiah. And he gin the boys +five cents apiece, and quiet rained down on the Encampment. +</p> + +<p> +But I sez to the man, “I don’t like the idee of havin’ my +sect throwed at from day to day, and week to week.” Sez I, “Why +didn’t you have a man fixed up to throw at, why didn’t you have a +Uncle Sam?” Sez I, “I don’t over and above like it; it seems +to be a sort of a slight onto my sect.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez the man winkin’ kind a sly at Josiah, “It won’t do to +make fun of men, men have the power in their hands and would resent it mebby. +Uncle Sam can’t be used jest like Aunt Sally.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “That haint the right spirit. There haint nothin’ over and +above noble in that, and manly.” +</p> + +<p> +I wuz kinder rousted up about it, and so wuz Josiah. And that is I s’pose +the reasun of his bein’ so voyalent, at the next place of recreation we +halted at Josiah see the picture of the mermaid; that beautiful female, a, +settin’ on the rock and combin’ her long golden hair. And he +proposed that we should go in and see it. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “It costs ten cents apiece, Josiah Allen. Think of the cost before +it is too late.” Sez I, “Your expenditure of money today has been +unusial.” Sez I, “The sum of ten cents has jest been raised by you +for noble principles, and I honer you for it. But still the money has +gone.” Sez I, “Do you feel able to incur the entire expense?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “All my life, Samantha, I have jest hankered after seein’ a +mermaid. Them beautiful creeters, a settin’ and combin’ their long +golden tresses. I feel that I must see it. I fairly long to see one of them +beautiful, lovely bein’s before I die.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “if you feel like that, Josiah Allen, it is +not fur from me to balk you in your search for beauty. I too admire loveliness, +Josiah Allen, and seek after it.” And sez I, “I will faithfully +follow at your side, and together we will bask in the rays of beauty, together +will we be lifted up and inspired by the immortal spirit of loveliness.” +</p> + +<p> +So payin’ our 30 cents we advanced up the steps, I expectin’ soon +to be made happy, and Josiah held up by the expectation of soon havin’ +his eyes blest by that vision of enchantin’ beauty, he had so long dremp +of. +</p> + +<p> +He advanced onto the pen first and before I even glanced down into the deep +where as I s’posed she set on a rock a combin’ out her long golden +hair, a singin’ her lurin’ and enchanted song, to distant mariners +she had known, and to the one who wuz a showin’ of her off, before I had +time to even glance at her, the maid, I was dumbfounded and stood aghast, at +the mighty change that came over my pardner’s linement. +</p> + +<p> +He towered up in grandeur and in wrath before me. He seemed almost like a +offended male fowl when ravenin’ hawks are angerin’ of it beyond +its strength to endure. I don’t like that metafor; I don’t love to +compare my pardner to any fowl, wild or tame; but my frenzied haste to describe +the fearful seen must be my excuse, and also my agitation in recallin’ of +it. +</p> + +<p> +He towered up, he fluttered so to speak majestically, and he says in loud wild +axents that must have struck terror to the soul of that mariner, “Where +is the hair-comb?” +</p> + +<p> +And then he shook his fist in the face of that mariner, and cries out once +agin, “Where is them long golden tresses? Bring ’em on this +instant! Fetch on that hair-comb, in a minute’s time, or I’ll +prosecute you, and sue you, and take the law to you - !” +</p> + +<p> +The mariner quailed before him and sez I, “My dear pardner, be calm! Be +calm!” +</p> + +<p> +“I won’t be calm!” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I mildly, but firmly, “You must, Josiah Allen; you must! or you will +break open your own chest. You must be calm.” +</p> + +<p> +“And I tell you I won’t be calm. And I tell you,” says he, a +turnin’ to that destracted mariner agin “I tell you to bring on +that comb and that long hair, this instant. Do you s’pose I’m +goin’ to pay out my money to see that rack-a-bone that I wouldn’t +have a layin’ out in my barn-yard for fear of scerin’ the dumb +scere-crows out in the lot. Do you s’pose I’m goin’ to pay +out my money for seein’ that dried-up mummy of the hombliest thing ever +made on earth, the dumbdest, hombliest; with 2 or 3 horse hairs pasted onto its +yellow old shell! Do you spose I’m goin’ to be cheated by +seein’ that, into thinkin’ it is a beautiful creeter a +playin’ and combin’ her hair? Bring on that beautiful creeter a +combin’ out her long, golden hair this instant, and bring out the comb +and I’ll give you five minutes to do it in.” +</p> + +<p> +He wuz hoorse with emotion, and he wuz pale round his lips as anything and leis +eyes under his forward looked glassy. I wuz fearful of the result. +</p> + +<p> +Thinkses I, I will look and see what has wrecked my pardner’s happiness +and almost reasen. I looked in and I see plain that his agitation was +nothin’ to be wondered at. It did truly seem to be the hombliest, +frightfulest lookin’ little thing that wuz ever made by a benignant +Providence or a taxy-dermis. I couldn’t tell which made it. I see it all, +but I see also, so firm, sot is my reasun onto its high throne on my heart, I +see that to preserve my pardner’s sanity, I must control my reasun at the +sight that had tottered my pardner’s. +</p> + +<p> +I turned to him, and tried to calm the seethin’ waters, but he loudly +called for the comb, and for the tresses, and the lookin’ glass. And, +askin’ in a wild’ sarcastic way where the song wuz that she sung to +mariners? And hollerin’ for him to bring on that rock at that minute, and +them mariners, and ordered him to set her to singin’. +</p> + +<p> +The idee! of that little skeletin with her skinny lips drawed back from her +shinin’ fish teeth, a singin’. The idee on’t! +</p> + +<p> +But truly, he wuz destracted and knew not what he did. The mariner in charge +looked destracted. And the bystanders a standin’ by wuz amazed, and +horrowfied by the spectacle of his actin’ and behavin’. And I knew +not how I should termonate the seen, and withdraw him away from where he wuz. +</p> + +<p> +But in my destraction and agony of sole, I bethought me of one meens of +quietin’ him and as it were terrifyin’ him into silence and be the +meens of gettin’ on him to leave the seen. I begoned to Ardelia to come +forward and I sez in a whisper to her, “Take out your pencil and a piece +of paper and stand up in front of him and go to writin’ some of your +poetry,” +</p> + +<p> +And then I sez agin in tender agents, “Be calm, Josiah.” +</p> + +<p> +“And I tell you that I won’t be calm! And I tell you,” a +shakin’ his fist at that pale mariner, “I tell you to bring +out—“ +</p> + +<p> +At that very minute he turned his eyes onto Ardelia, who stood with a kind of a +fur-away look in her eyes in front of him with the paper in her hand, and sez +he to me, “What is she doin’?” +</p> + +<p> +“She is composin’ some poetry onto you, Josiah Allen,” sez I, +in tremblin’ axents; for I felt that if that skeme failed, I wuz undone, +for I knew I had no ingredients there to get him a extra good meal. No, I felt +that my tried and true weepon wuz fur away, and this wuz my last hope. +</p> + +<p> +But as I thought these thoughts with almost a heatlightnin’ rapidety, I +see a change in his liniment. It did not look so thick and dark; it began to +look more natural and clear. +</p> + +<p> +And sez he in the same old way I have heerd him say it so many times, +“Dumb it all! What duz she want to write poetry on me for? It is time to +go home.” And so sayin’, he almost tore us from the seen. +</p> + +<p> +I gin Ardelia that night 2 yards of lute-string ribbon, a light pink, and +didn’t begrech it. But I have never dast, not in his most placid and +serene moments - I have never dast, to say the word “Mermaid’ to +him. +</p> + +<p> +Truly there is something that the boldest female pardner dassent do. Mermaids +is one of the things I don’ dast to bring up. No! no, fur be it from me +to say “Mermaid” to Josiah Allen. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image36.gif" height="285" width="335" alt="On the Porch" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap12"></a>Chapter XII.<br/> +A DRIVE TO SARATOGA LAKE.</h2> + +<p> +Josiah and me took a short drive this afternoon, he hirin’ a buggy for +the occasion. He called it “goin’ in his own conveniance,” +and I didn’t say nothin’ aginst his callin’ it so. I +didn’t break it up for this reasun, thinkses I it is a conveniance for us +to ride in it, for us 2 tried and true souls to get off for a minute by +ourselves. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Josiah wuz dretful good behaved this afternoon. He helped me in a good +deal politer than usual and tucked the bright lap-robe almost tenderly round my +form. +</p> + +<p> +Men do have sech spells. They are dretful good actin’ at times. Why they +act better and more subdueder and mellerer at sometimes than at others, is a +deep subject which we mortals cannot as yet fully understand. Also visey +versey, their cross, up headeder times, over bearin’ and actin’. It +is a deep subject and one freighted with a great deal of freight. +</p> + +<p> +But Josiah’s goodness on this afternoon almost reached the Scripteral and +he sez, when we first sot out, and I see that the horse’s head wuz turned +towards the Lake. Sez he, “I guess we’ll go to the Lake, but where +do you want to go, Samantha? I will go anywhere you want to go.” +</p> + +<p> +And he still drove almost recklessly on lakewards. And sez he, “We had +better go straight on, but say the word, and you can go jest where you want +to.” And he urged the horse on to still greater speed. And he sez agin, +“Do you want to go any particular place, Samantha?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez I, “I had jest as leves go there as not.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I knew there would be where you would want to go.” And he +drove on at a good jog. But no better jog than we had been a goin’ on. +</p> + +<p> +Wall the weather wuz delightful. It wuz soft and balmy. And my feelin’s +towered my pardner (owin’ to his linement) wuz soft and balmy as the air. +And so we moved onwards, past the home of one who wuz true to his country, when +all round him wuz false, who governed his state wisely and well, held the lines +firm, when she wuz balky, and would have been glad to take the lines in her +teeth and run away onto ruin; past the big grand house of him who carried a +piece of our American justice way off into Egypt and carried it firm and square +too right there in the dark. I s’pose it is dark. I have always hearn +about its bein’ as dark as Egypt. Wall, anyway he is a good lookin’ +man. They both on ’em are and Josiah admitted it - after some words. +</p> + +<p> +Wall anon, or perhaps a little after, we came to where we could see the face of +Beautiful Saratoga Lake, layin’ a smilin’ up into the skies. A +little white cloud wuz a restin’ up on the top of the tree-covered +mountain that riz up on one side of the lake, and I felt that it might be the +shadow form of the sacred dove Saderrosseros a broodin’ down over the +waters she loved. +</p> + +<p> +That she loved still, though another race wuz a bathin’ their weary +forwards in the tide. And I wondered as I looked down on it, whether the great +heart of the water wuz constant; if it ever heaved up into deep sithes a +thinkin’ of the one who had passed away, of them who once rested lightly +on her bosem, bathed their dark forwards and read the meanin’ of the +heavens, in the moon and stars reflected there. +</p> + +<p> +I don’t know as she remembered ’em, and Josiah don’t. But I +know as we stood there, a lookin’ down on her, the lake seemed to give a +sort of a sithe and a shiver kind a run over her, not a cold shiver exactly, +but a sort of a shinin’, glorified shiver. I see it a comin’ from +way out on the lake and it swept and sort a shivered on clean to the shore and +melted away there at our feet. Mebby it wuz a sort o’ sithe, and mebby +agin it wuzn’t. +</p> + +<p> +I guess it felt that it wuz all right, that a fairer race had brought fairer +customs and habits of thoughts, and the change wuz not a bad one. I guess she +looked forward to the time when a still grander race should look down into her +shinin’ face, a race of free men, and free wimmen; sons and daughters of +God, who should hold their birthright so grandly and nobly that they will look +back upon the people of to-day, as we look back upon the dark sons and +daughters of the forest, in pity and dolor. +</p> + +<p> +I guess she thought it wuz all right. Any way she acted as if she did. She +looked real sort o’ serene and calm as we left her, and sort o’ +prophetic too, and glowin’. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we went by a long first rate lookin’ sort of a tarven, I guess. It +wuz a kind of a dark red color, and dretfully flowered off in wood - red wood. +And there we see standin’ near the house, a great big round sort of a +buildin’, and my Josiah sez, +</p> + +<p> +“There! that is a buildin’ I like the looks on. That is a barn I +like; built perfectly round. That is sunthin’ uneek. I’ll have a +barn like that if I live. I fairly love that barn.” And he stopped the +horse stun still to look at it. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez in sort o’ cool tones, not entirely cold, but coolish: +“What under the sun do you want with a round barn? And you don’t +need another one.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I don’t exactly need it, Samantha, but it would be a comfert +to me to own one. I should dearly love a round barn.” +</p> + +<p> +And he went on pensively, - “I wonder how much it would cost. I +wouldn’t have it quite so big as this is. I’d have it for a horse +barn, Samantha. It would look so fashionable, and genteel. Think what it would +be, Samantha, to keep our old mair in a round barn, why the mair would renew +her age.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image37.gif" height="285" width="330" alt="A Round Barn" /> +</div> + +<p> +“She wouldn’t pay no attention to it,” sez I. “She +knows too much.” And I added in cooler, more dignifieder tones, but +dretful meanin’ ones, “The old mair, Josiah Allen, don’t run +after every new fancy she hears on. She don’t try to be fashionable, and +she haint high-headed, except,” sez I, reasenably, “when you check +her up too much.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he, “I am bound to make some enquiries. +Hello!” says he to a bystander a comin’ by. “Have you any +idee what such a barn as that would cost? A little smaller one, I don’t +need so big a one. How many feet of lumber do you s’pose it would take +for it? I ask you,” sez he, “as between man and man.” +</p> + +<p> +I nudged him there, for as I have said, I didn’t believe then, and I +don’t believe now, that he or any other man ever knew or mistrusted what +they meant by that term “as between man and man.” I think it sounds +kind o’ flat, and I always oppose Josiah’s usin’ it; he loves +it. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the man broke out a’ laughin’ and sez he, “That haint a +barn, that is a tree.” +</p> + +<p> +“A tree!” sez I, a sort o’ cranin’ my neck forward in +deep amaze. And what exclamation Josiah Allen made, I will not be coaxed into +revealin’; no, it is better not. +</p> + +<p> +But suffice it to say that after a long explanation my companion at last gin in +that the man wuz a tellin’ the truth, and it wuz the lower part of a +tree-trunk, that growed once near the Yo Semity valley of California. Good +land! good land! +</p> + +<p> +Josiah drove on quick after the man explained it, he felt meachin’, but I +didn’t notice his linement so much, I wuz so deep in thought, and a +wonderin’ about it; a wonderin’ how the old tree felt with her feet +a restin’ here on strange soil - her withered, dry old feet a +standin’ here, as if jest ready to walk away restless like and feverish, +a wantin’ to get back by the rushin’ river that used to bathe them +feet in the spring overflow of the pure cold mountain water. It seemed to me +she felt she was a alien, as if she missed her strong sturdy grand old body, +her lofty head that used to peer up over the mountains, and as if some day she +wuz a goin’ to set off a walkin’ back, a tryin’ to find +’em. +</p> + +<p> +I thought of how it had towered up, how the sun had kissed its branches, how +the birds had sung and built their nests against her green heart, hovered in +her great, outstretched arms. The birds of a century, the birds of a thousand +years. How the storms had beat upon her; the first autumn rains of a thousand +years, the first snow-flakes that had wavered down in a slantin’ line and +touched the tips of her outstretched fingers, and then had drifted about her +till her heart wuz almost frozen and she would clap her cold hands together to +warm ’em, and wail out a dretful moanin’ sound of desolation, and +pain. +</p> + +<p> +But the first warm rain drops of Spring would come, the sunshine warmed her, +she swung out her grand arms in triumph agin, and joined the majestic psalm of +victory and rejoicing with all her grand sisterhood of psalmists. The stars +looked down on her, the sun lit her lofty forward, the suns and stars of a +thousand years. Strange animals, that mebby we don’t know anything about +now, roamed about her feet, birds of a different plumage and song sung to her +(mebby). +</p> + +<p> +Strange faces of men and women looked up to her. What faces had looked up to +her in sorrow and in joy? I’d gin a good deal to know. I’d have +loved to see them strange faces touched with strange pains and hopes. +Tribulations and joys of a thousand years ago. What sort of tribulations wuz +they, and what sort of joys? Sunthin’ human, sunthin’ that we hold +in common, no doubt. The same pain that pained Eve as she walked down out of +Eden, the same joy that Adam enjoyed while they and the garden wuz prosperus, +wuz in their faces most probable whether their forwards wuz pinted or broad, +their faces black, copper colored or white. +</p> + +<p> +And the changes, the changes of a thousand years, all these the old tree had +seen, and I respected her dry dusty old feet and wuz sorry for ’em. And I +reveryed on the subject more’n half the way home, and couldn’t help +it. Anyway my revery lasted till jest before we got to the big gate of the Race +Course. +</p> + +<p> +And right there, right in front of them big ornamental doors, we see Miss G. +Washington Flamm, with about a thousand other carriages and wagons and Tally +ho’s and etcetry, and etcetry. Josiah thinks there wuz a million teams, +but I don’t. I am mejum; there wuzn’t probable over a thousand +right there in the road. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image38.gif" height="333" width="303" alt="Race Course Entry" /> +</div> + +<p> +Miss Flamm re<i>cog</i>nized us and asked us if we didn’t want to go in. Wall, +Josiah wuz agreeable to the idee and said so. And then she said sunthin’ +to the man that tended to the gate, probably sunthin’ in our praise, and +handed him sunthin’, it might have been a ten cent piece, for all I know. +</p> + +<p> +But anyway he wuz dretful polite to us, and let us through. And my land! if it +wuzn’t a sight to behold! Of all the big roomy places I ever see all +filled with vehicles of all shapes and sizes and folks on foot and big high +platforms, all filled with men and wimmen and children! And Josiah sez to me, +“I thought the hull dumb world wuz there outside in the road, and here +there is ten times as many in here.” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “Yes, Josiah, be careful and not lose me, for I feel like a +needle in a hay mow.” +</p> + +<p> +He looked down on me and sort a smiled. I s’pose it wuz because I +compared myself to a needle, and he sez, “A cambric needle, or a +darnin’ needle?” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “I wouldn’t laugh in such a time as this, Josiah +Allen.” Sez I, “Do jest look over there on the race course.” +</p> + +<p> +And it wuz a thrillin’ seen. It wuz a place big enough for all the horses +of our land to run ’round in and from Phario’s horses down to them +of the present time. And beautiful broad smooth roads cut in the green velvet +of the grass, and horses goin’ ’round jest like lightnin’, +with little light buggys hitched to ’em, some like the quiver on sheet +lightnin’ (only different shape) and men a drivin’ ’em. +</p> + +<p> +And then there wuz a broad beautiful race course with little clusters of trees +and bushes, every little while right in the road, and if you’ll believe +it, I don’t s’pose you will, but it is the livin’ truth, when +them horses, goin’ jest like a flash of light, with little boys all +dressed in gay colors a ridin’ ’em—when them horses came to +them trees instid of goin’ ’round ’em, or pushin’ in +between ’em, or goin’ back agin, they jumped right over ’em. +I don’t spose this will be believed by lots of folks in Jonesville and +Loontown, but it is the truth, for I see it with both my eyes. Josiah riz right +up in the buggy and cheered jest as the rest of ’em did, entirely +unbeknown to himself, so he said, to see it a goin’ on. +</p> + +<p> +Why he got nearly rampant with excitement. And so did I, though I +wouldn’t want it known by Tirzah Ann’s husband’s folks and +others in Jonesville. They call it “steeple chasin’” so if +they should hear on’t, it wouldn’t sound so very wicked any way. I +should probable tell ’em if they said <i>too</i> much, “That it wuz a pity +if folks couldn’t get interested in a steeple and chase it up.” But +between you and me I didn’t see no sign of a steeple, nor meetin’ +house nor nuthin’. I s’pose they gin it that name to make it seem +more righter to perfessors. I know it wuz a great comfort to me. (But I +don’t think they chased a steeple, and Josiah don’t, for we think +we should have seen it if they had.) +</p> + +<p> +Wall, as I say, we wuz both dretfully interested, excited, and wrought up, I +s’pose I ort to say, when a chap accosted me and says to me +sunthin’ about buyin’ a pool. And I shook my head and sez, +“No, I don’t want to buy no pool.” +</p> + +<p> +But he kep’ on a talkin’ and a urgin’, and sez, +“Won’t you buy a French pool, mom, you can make lots of money out +of it.” +</p> + +<p> +“A pool,” sez I in dignified axents, and some stern, for I wuz +weary with his importunities. “What do I want a pool for? Don’t you +s’pose there’s any pools in Jonesville, and I never thought +nothin’ on ’em, I always preferred runnin’ water. But if I +wuz a goin’ to buy one, what under the sun do you s’pose I would +buy one way off here for, hundreds of miles from Jonesville?” +</p> + +<p> +“I might possibly,” sez I, not wantin’ to hurt his +feelin’s and tryin’ to think of some use I could put it tot “ +<i>might</i> if you had a good small American pool, that wuz a sellin’ cheap; +and I could have it set right in our back yard, clost to the horse barn, why I +might possibly try to make a dicker with you for it. I might use it for +raisin’ ducks and geese, though I’d rather have a runnin’ +stream then. But how under the sun you think I could take a pool home on a +tower, how I could pack it, or transport it, or drive it home is a mystery to +me.” +</p> + +<p> +Again he sez mechinecally, “Lots of wimmen do get ’em.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, some wimmen,” sez I mildly, for I see he wuz a lookin’ +at me perfect dumbfoundered. I see I wuz fairly stuntin’ him with my +eloquence. “Some wimmen will buy anything if it has a French name to it. +But I prefer my own country, land or water. And some wimmen,” sez I, +“will buy anything if they can get it cheap, things they don’t +need, and would be better off without, from a eliphant down to a magnificent +nothin’ to call husband. They’ll buy any worthless and troublesome +thing jest to get ’em to goin’. Now such wimmen would jest jump at +that pool. But that haint my way. No, I don’t want to purchase your +pool.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “You are mistaken, mom!” +</p> + +<p> +“No I haint,” sez I firmly and with decesion. “No I haint. I +don’t need no pool. It wouldn’t do me no good to keep it on my +hands, and I haint no notion of settin’ up in the pool or pond business, +at my age.” +</p> + +<p> +“And then,” sez I reasonably, “the canal runs jest down below +our orchard, and if we run short, we could get all the water we wanted from +there. And we have got two good cisterns and a well on the place.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “What I mean is, bettin’ on a horse. Do you want to bet on +which horse will go the fastest, the black one or the bay one?” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez I, “I don’t want to bet.” +</p> + +<p> +But he kep’ on a urgin’ me, and thinkin’ I had disappinted +him in sellin’ a pool, or rather pond, I thought it wouldn’t hurt +me to kinder gin in to him in this, so I sez mildly, “Bettin’ is +sunthin’ I don’t believe in, but seein’ I have disappinted +you in sellin’ your water power, I don’t know as it would be wicked +to humor you in this and say it to please you. You say the bay horse is the +best, so I’ll say for jest this once - There! I’ll bet the bay one +will go the best.” +</p> + +<p> +“Where is your money?” sez he. “It is five dollars for a bet. +You pay five dollars and you have a chance to get back mebby 100.” +</p> + +<p> +I riz right up in feerful dignity, and the buggy and I sez that one feerful +word to him, “Gamblin’!” He sort a quailed. But sez he, +“you had better take a five-dollar chance on the bay horse.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image39.gif" height="361" width="213" alt="Feerful Dignity" /> +</div> + +<p> +“No,” sez I, with a freezin’ coldness, that must have made +his ears fairly tingle it wuz so cold, “no I shall not gamble, neither on +foot nor on horseback.” +</p> + +<p> +Then I sot down and I sez in the same lofty tones to Josiah Allen, “Drive +on, Josiah, instantly and to once.” +</p> + +<p> +He too had heerd the fearful word and his princeples too wuz rousted up. He +driv right on rapidly, out of the gate and into the highway. But as he druv on +fast and almost furius I heerd him murmur words to himself, that accounted for +his eager looks while the man wuz dickerin’ about the pool. He sez, +“It is dumb hard work pumpin’ water for so many head of +cattle.” He thought a pool would come handy, so I see. But it wuz all +done and I would have done the same thing if it was to do over agin, so I +didn’t say nuthin’, but kep’ a serene silence, and let him +drive along in quiet; and anon, I see the turbelence of his feelin’s +subsided in a measure. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a gettin’ along towards sundown and the air wuz a growin’ +cool and balmy, as if it wuz a blowin’ over some balm flowers, and we +begun to feel quite well in our minds, though the crowd in the road wuz too big +for comfert. The crowd of carriages and horses, and vehicles of all kinds, +seemed to go in two big full rows or streams, one a goin’ down on one +side of the road, and the other a goin’ up on the other. So the 2 tides +swept past each other constantly—but the bubbles on the tide wuzn’t +foam but feathers, and bows, and laces, and parasols, and buttons, and +diamonds, and etcetry, etcetry, etcetry. +</p> + +<p> +And all of a sudden my Josiah jest turned into a big gate that wuz a +standin’ wide open and we drove into a beautiful quiet road that went a +windin’ in under the shadows of the tall grand old trees. He did it +without askin’ my advice or sayin’ a word to me. But I wuzn’t +sorry. Fur it wuz beautiful in there. It seemed as if we had left small cares +and vexations and worryments out there in the road and dust, and took in with +us only repose and calmness, and peace, and they wuz a journeyin’ along +with us on the smooth road under the great trees, a bendin’ down on each +side on us. And pretty soon we came to a beautiful piece of water crossed by a +rustick bridge, and all surrounded by green trees on every side. Then up on the +broad road agin, sweepin’ round a curve where we could see a little ways +off a great mansion with a wall built high round it as if to shet in the repose +and sweet home-life and shet out intrusion, sort a protect it from the too +curius glances of a curius generation. Some as I hold my hand up before my face +to keep off the too-scorchin’ rays of the sun, when I am a lookin’ +down the western road for my Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a good lookin’ spot as I ever want to see, sheltered, quiet and +lovely. But we left it behind us as we rode onwards, till we came out along +another broad piece of the water, and we rode along by the side of it for some +time. +</p> + +<p> +Beautiful water with the trees growin’ up on every side of it, and their +shadows reflected so clearly in the shinin’ surface, that they seemed to +be trees a growin’ downwards, tall grand trees, wavin’ branches, +goin’ down into the water and livin’ agin in another world,—a +more beautiful one. +</p> + +<p> +The sun wuz a gettin’ low and piles of clouds wuz in the west and all +their light wuz reflected in the calm water. And the beautiful soft shadows +rested there on that rosy and golden light, some like the shadow of a beautiful +and sorrowful memory, a restin’ down and reposin’ on a divine hope, +an infinite sweetness. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image40.gif" height="195" width="275" alt="The Race Course" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap13"></a>Chapter XIII.<br/> +VISITS TO NOTABLE PLACES.</h2> + +<p> +It is a perfect sight to behold, to set on the piazzas at Saratoga, and see the +folks a goin’ past. +</p> + +<p> +Now in Jonesville, when there wuz a 4th of July, or campmeetin’, or +sunthin’ of that kind a goin’ on, why, I thought I had seen the +streets pretty full. Why, I had counted as many as seven teams in the road at +one time, and I had thought that wuz pretty lively times. But good land? Good +land! You would have gin up in ten minutes time here, that you had never seen a +team (as it were). +</p> + +<p> +Why I call my head a pretty sound one, but I declare, it did fairly make my +head swim to set there kinder late in the afternoon, and see the drivin’ +a goin’ on. See the carriages a goin’ this way, and a goin’ +that way; horses of all colers, and men and wimmen of all colers, and parasols +of all colers, and hats, and bonnets and parasols, and satins, and laces, and +ribbins, and buttons, and dogs, and flowers, and plumes, and parasols. And +horses a turnin’ out to go by, and horses havin’ gone by, and +horses that hadn’t gone by. And big carriages with folks inside all +dressed up in every coler of the rain beaux. And elligent gentlemen dressed +perfectly splendid, a settin’ up straight behind. With thin yellow legs, +or stripes down the side on ’em, and their hats all trimmed off with +ornaments and buttons up and down their backs. +</p> + +<p> +Haughty creeters they wuz, I make no doubt. They showed it in their looks. But +I never loved so much dress in a man. And I would jest as soon have told them +so; as to tell you. I hain’t one to say things to a man’s back that +I won’t say to his face, whether it be a plain back or buttoned. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, as I say, it wuz a dizzy sight to set there on them piazzas and see the +seemin’ly endless crowd a goin’ by; back and forth, back and forth; +to and fro, to and fro. I didn’t enjoy it so much as some did, though for +a few minutes at a time I looked upon it as a sort of a recreation, some like a +circus, only more wilder. +</p> + +<p> +But some folks enjoyed it dretfully. Yes, they set a great deal on piazzas at +Saratoga. And when I say set on ’em, I mean they set a great store on +’em, and they set on ’em a great deal. Some folks set on ’em +so much, that I called them setters. Real likely creeters they are too, some on +’em, and handsome; some pious, sober ones, some sort a gay. Some not +married at all, and some married a good deal, and when I say a good deal I +meen, they have had various companions and lost ’em. +</p> + +<p> +Now there wuz one woman that I liked quite well. +</p> + +<p> +She had had 4 husbands countin’ in the present one. She wuz a good +lookin’ woman and had seen trouble. It stands to reeson she had with 4 +husbands. Good land! +</p> + +<p> +She showed me one day a ring she wore. She had took the weddin’ rings of +her 4 pardners and had ’em all run together, and the initials of their +first names carved inside on it. Her first husband’s name wuz Franklin, +her next two wuz Orville and Obed, and her last and livin’ one Lyman. +Wall, she meant well, but she never see what would be the end on’t and +how it would read till she had got their initials all carved out on it. +</p> + +<p> +She wuz dretfully worked up about it, but I see that it wuz right. For nobody +but a fool would want to run all these recollections and memories together, all +the different essociations and emotions, that must cluster round each of them +rings. The idee of runnin’ ’em all together with the livin’ +one! It wuz ectin’ like a fool and it seemed fairly providential that +their names run in jest that way. +</p> + +<p> +Why, if I had had 2 husbands, or even 4, I should want to keep ’em apart +- settin’ up in high chairs on different sides of my heart. Why, if +I’d had 4, I’d have ’em to the different pints of the +compass, east, west, north, south, as far apart from each other as my heart +would admit of. Ketch me a lumpin’ in all the precious memories of my +Josiah with them of any other man, bond or free, Jew or Genteel; no, and +I’d refrain from tellin’ to the new one about the other ones. +</p> + +<p> +No, when a pardner dies and you set out to take another one, bury the one that +has gone right under his own high chair in your heart, don’t keep him up +there a rattlin’ his bones before the eyes of the 2d, and angerin’ +him, and agonizen’ your own heart. Bury him before you bring a new one +into the same room. +</p> + +<p> +And never! never! even in moments of the greatest anger, dig him up agin or +even weep over his grave, before the new pardner. No; under the moonlight, and +the stars, before God only, and your own soul, you may lay there in spirit on +that grave, weep over it, keep the turf green. But not before any one else. And +I wouldn’t advise you to go there alone any too often. I would advise you +to spend your spare time ornementin’ the high chair where the new one +sets, wreathin’ it round with whatever blossoms and trailin’ vines +of tenderness and romance you have left over from the first great romance of +life. +</p> + +<p> +It would be better for you in the end. +</p> + +<p> +I said some few of these little thoughts to the female mentioned; and I +s’pose I impressed her dretfully, I s’pose I did. But I +couldn’t stay to see the full effects on’t, for another female +setter came up at that minute to talk with her, and my companion came up at +that very minute to ask me to go a walkin’ with him up to the cemetery. +</p> + +<p> +That is a very favorite place for Josiah Allen. He often used to tell the +children when they wuz little, that if they wuz real good he would take +’em out on a walk to the grave-yard. +</p> + +<p> +And when I first married to him, if I hadn’t broke it up, that would have +been the only place of resort that he would have took me to Summers. But I +broke it up after a while. Good land! there is times to go any where and times +to stay away. I didn’t want to go a trailin’ up there every day or +two; jest married too! +</p> + +<p> +But to-day I felt willin’ to go. I had been a lookin’ so long at +the crowd a fillin’ the streets full, and every one on ’em in +motion, that I thought it would be sort a restful to go out to a place where +they wuz still. And so after a short walk we came to the village that haint +stirred by any commotion or alarm. Where the houses are roofed with green grass +and daisies, and the white stun doors don’t open to let in trouble or +joy, and where the inhabitants don’t ride out in the afternoon. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, if I should tell the truth which I am fur from not wantin’ to do, I +should say that at first sight, it wuz rather of a bleak, lonesome +lookin’ spot, kinder wild and desolate lookin’. But as we went +further along in it, we came to some little nooks and sheltered paths and +spots, that seemed more collected together and pleasant. There wuz some big +high stuns and monuments, and some little ones but not one so low that it +hadn’t cast a high, dark shadow over somebody’s life. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz one in the shape of a big see shell. I s’pose some mariner lay +under that, who loved the sea. Or mebby it wuz put up by some one who had the +odd fancy that put a shell to your ear you will hear a whisperin’ in it +of a land fur away, fur away. Not fur from this wuz a stun put up over a young +engineer who had been killed instantly by his engine. There wuz a picture of +the locomotive scraped out on the stun, and in the cab of the engine wuz his +photograph, and these lines wuz underneath: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +My engine now lies still and cold,<br/> +No water does her boiler hold;<br/> +The wood supplies its flames no more,<br/> +My days of usefulness are o’er. +</p> + +<p> +We wended our way in and out of the silent streets for quite a spell, and then +we went and sot down on the broad piazza of the sort of chapel and green-house +that stood not fur from the entrance. And while we sot there we see another +inhabitent come there to the village to stay. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a long procession, fur it wuz a good man who had come. And many of his +friends come with him jest as fur as they could: wife, children, and friends, +they come with him jest as fur as they could, and then he had to leave +’em and go on alone. How weak love is, and how strong. It wuz too weak to +hold him back, or go with him, though they would fain have done so. But it wuz +strong enough to shadow the hull world with its blackness, blot out the sun and +the stars, and scale the very mounts of heaven with its wild complaints and +pleadin’s. A strange thing love is, haint it? +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we sot there for quite a spell and my companion wantin’, I spose, +to make me happy, took out a daily paper out of his pocket and went to +readin’ the deaths to me. He always loves to read the deaths and +marriages in a paper. He sez that is the literature that interests him. And +then I s’pose he thought at such a time, it wuz highly appropriate. So I +didn’t break it up till he began to read a long obituary piece about a +child’s death; about its being cut down like a flower by a lightin’ +stroke out of a cloudless sky, and about what a mysterious dispensation of +Providence it wuz, etc., etc. And then there wuz a hull string of poetry +dedicated to the heart-broken mother bewailin’ the mystery on’t, +and wonderin’ why Providence should do such strange, onlookedfor things, +etc., and etcetery, and so 4th. +</p> + +<p> +And I spoke right up and sez, “That is a slander onto Providence and ort +to be took as such by every lover of justice.” +</p> + +<p> +Josiah wuz real horrified, he had been almost sheddin’ tears he wuz so +affected by it; to think the little creeter should be torn away by a strange +chance of Providence from a mother who worshipped her, and whose whole life and +every thought wuz jest wrapped up in the child, and who never had thought nor +cared for anything else only just the well bein’ of the child and +wardin’ trouble off of her, for so the piece stated. And he sez in wild +amaze, “What do you mean, Samantha? What makes you talk so?” +</p> + +<p> +“Because,” sez I, “I know it is the truth. I know the hull +story;” and then I went on and told it to him, and he agreed with me and +felt jest as I did. +</p> + +<p> +You see, the mother of the child wuz a perfect high flyer of fashion and she +always wore dresses so tight, that she couldn’t get her hands up to her +head to save her life, after her corset wuz on. Wall, she wuz out a +walkin’ with the child one day, or rather toddlin’ along with it, +on her high-heeled sboes. They wuz both dressed up perfectly beautiful, and +made a most splendid show. Wall, they went into a store on their way to the +park, and there wuz a big crowd there, and the mother and the little girl got +into the very middle of the crowd. They say there wuz some new storks for sale +that day, and some cattail flags, and so there wuz naturelly a big crowd of +wimmen a buyin’ ’em, and cranes. And some way, while they stood +there a heavy vase that stood up over the child’s head fell down and fell +onto it, and hurt the child so, that it died from the effects of it. +</p> + +<p> +The mother see the vase when it flrst begun to move, she could have reached up +her hands and stiddied it, and kep’ it from fallin’, if she could +have got ’em up, but with that corset on, the hull American continent +might have tumbled onto the child’s head and she couldn’t have +moved her arms up to keep it off; couldn’t have lifted her arms up over +the child’s head to save her life. No, she couldn’t have kep’ +one of the States off, nor nothin’. And then talk about her wardin’ +trouble offen the child, why she <i>couldn’t</i> ward trouble off, nor +nothin’ else with that corset on. She screemed, as she see it a +comin’ down onto the head of her beloved little child, but that wuz all +she could do. The child wuz wedged in by the throng of folks and couldn’t +stir, and they wuz all engrossed in their own business which wuz +pressin’, and very important, a buyin’ plates, and plaks, with +bull-rushes, and cranes, and storks on ’em, so naturelly, they +didn’t mind what wuz a goin’ on round ’em. And down it come! +</p> + +<p> +And there it wuz put down in the paper, “A mysterious dispensation of +Providence.” Providence slandered shamefully and I will say so with my +last breath. +</p> + +<p> +What are mothers made for if it haint to take care of the little ones God gives +’em. What right have they to contoggle themselves up in a way that they +can see their children die before ’em, and they not able to put out a +hand to save ’em. Why, a savage mother is better than this, a heathen +one. And if I had my way, there would be a hull shipload of savages and +heathens brought over here to teach and reform our too civilized wimmen. +I’d bring ’em over this very summer. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we sot there on the stoop for quite a spell and then we wended our way +down to the highway, and as we arrived there my companion proposed that we +should take a carriage and go to the Toboggen slide. Sez I, “Not after +where we have been today, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +And he sez, “Why not?” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “It wouldn’t look well, after visitin’ the folks +we have jest now.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he, “they won’t speak on’t to +anybody, if that is what you are afraid on, or sense it themselves.” +</p> + +<p> +And I see in a minute, he had some sense on his side, though his words shocked +me some at first, kinder jarred aginst some sensitive spot in my nater, jest as +pardners will sometimes, however devoted they may be to each other. Yet I see +he wuz in the right on’t. +</p> + +<p> +They wouldn’t sense anything about it. And as for us, we wuz in the world +of the livin’ still, and I still owed a livin’ duty to my +companion, to make him as happy as possible. And so I sez, mildly, “Wall, +I don’t know as there is anything wrong in slidin’ down hill, +Josiah. I s’pose I can go with you.” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez he, “there haint nothin’ wrong about +slidin’ down hill unless you strike too hard, or tip over, or +sunthin’.” So he bagoned to a carriage that wuz passin’, and +we got into it, and sot sail for the Toboggen slide. +</p> + +<p> +We passed through the village. (Some say it is a city, but if it is, it is a +modest, retirin’ one as I ever see; perfectly unassumin’, and +don’t put on a air, not one.) +</p> + +<p> +But howsumever, we passed through it, through the rows and rows of summer +tarvens and boardin’ houses, good-lookin’ ones too; past some +good-lookin’ private houses—a long tarven and a pretty red brick +studio and rows of summer stores, little nests that are filled up summers, and +empty winters, then by some more of them monster big tarvens where some of the +200,000 summer visitors who flock here summers, find a restin’ place; and +then by the large respectable good-lookin’ stores and shops of the +natives, that stand solid, and to be depended on summer and winter; by churches +and halls, and etc., and good-lookin’ houses and then some +splendid-lookin’ houses all standin’ back on their grassy lawns +behind some trees, and fountains, and flower beds, etc., etc. +</p> + +<p> +Better-lookin’ houses, I don’t want to see nor broader, handsomer +streets. And pretty soon fur away to the east you could see through the trees a +glimpse of a glorious landscape, a broad lovely view of hill and valley, +bounded by blue mountain tops. It was a fair seen - a fair seen. To be +perfectly surrounded by beauty where you, wuz, and a lookin’ off onto +more. There I would fain have lingered, but time and wagons roll stidily +onward, and will not brook delay, nor pause for women to soar over seenery. +</p> + +<p> +So we rolled onwards through still more beautiful, and quiet pictures. Pictures +of quiet woods and bendin’ trees, and a country road windin’ +tranquilly beneath, up and down gentle hills, and anon a longer one, and then +at our feet stood the white walls of a convent, with 2 or 3 brothers, a +strollin’ along in their long black gowns, and crosses, a readin’ +some books. +</p> + +<p> +I don’t know what it wuz, what they wuz a readin’ out of their +books, or a readin’ out of their hearts. Mebby sunthin’ kinder sad +and serene. Mebby it wuz sunthin’ about the gay world of human happiness, +and human sorrows, they had turned backs to forever. Mebby it wuz about the +other world that they had sot out for through a lonesome way. Mebby it wuz +“Never” they wuz a readin’ about, and mebby it wuz +“Forever.” I don’t know what it wuz. But we went by +’em, and anon, yes it wuz jest anon, for it wuz the very minute that I +lifted my eyes from the Father’s calm and rather sad-lookin’ face, +that I ketched sight on’t, that I see a comin’ down from the high +hills to the left on us, an immense sort of a trough, or so it looked, a +comin’ right down through the trees, from the top of the mountain to the, +bottom. And then all acrost the fields as fur, as fur as from our house way +over to Miss Pixley’s wuz a sort of a road, with a row of electric lights +along the side on’t. +</p> + +<p> +We drove up to a buildin’ that stood at the foot of that immense slide, +or so they called it, and a female woman who wuz there told us all about it. +And we went out her back door, and see way up the slide, or trough. There wuz a +railin’ on each side on’t, and a place in the middle where she said +the Toboggen came down. +</p> + +<p> +And sez Josiah, “Who is the Toboggen, anyway? Is he a native of the place +or a Injun? Anyway,” sez he, “I’d give a dollar bill to see +him a comin’ down that place.” +</p> + +<p> +And the woman said, “A Toboggen wuz a sort of a long sled, that two or +three folks could ride on, and they come down that slide with such force that +they went way out acrost the fields as far as the row of lights, before it +stopped.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Josiah Allen, did you ever see the beat on’t?” Sez I, +“Haint that as far as from our house to Miss Pixley’s?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” says he, “and further too. It is as far as Uncle Jim +Hozzleton’s.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” says I, “I believe you are in the right +on’t.” +</p> + +<p> +And sez Josiah, “How do they get back agin? Do they come in the cars, or +in their own conveniences?” +</p> + +<p> +“There is a sleigh to bring ’em back, but sometime they walk +back,” sez the woman. +</p> + +<p> +“Walk back!” sez I, in deep amaze. “Do they walk from way out +there, and cleer up that mountain agin?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez she. “Don’t you see the place at the side +for ’em to draw the Toboggen up, and the little flights of steps for +’em to go up the hill?” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, in deep amaze, and auxins as ever to get information +on deep subjects, “where duz the fun come in, is it in walkin’ way +over the plain and up the hills, or is it in comin’ down?” +</p> + +<p> +And she said she didn’t know exactly where the fun lay, but she +s’posed it wuz comin’ down. Anyway, they seemed to enjoy it first +rate. And she said it wuz a pretty sight to see ’em all on a bright clear +night, when the sky wuz blue and full of stars, and the earth white and +glistenin’ underneath to see 7 or 800, all dressed up in to gayest way, +suits of white blankets, gay borders and bright tasseled caps of every color, +and suits of every other pretty color all trimmed with fur and embroideries, to +see ’em all a laughin’ and a talkin’, with their cheeks and +eyes bright and glowin’, to see ’em a comin’ down the slide +like flashes of every colored light, and away out over the white +glistenin’ plains; and then to see the long line of happy laughin’ +creeters a walkin’ back agin’ drawin’ the gay Toboggens. She +said it wuz a sight worth seein’. +</p> + +<p> +“Do they come down alone?” sez Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +“Oh no!” sez she. “Boys and their sweethearts, men and wives, +fathers and mothers and children, sometimes 4 on a Toboggan.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Josiah, lookin’ anamated and clever, “I’d love to take +you on one on ’em, Samantha.’ +</p> + +<p> +“Oh no!” sez I, “I wouldn’t want to be took.” +</p> + +<p> +But a bystander a standin’ by said it wuz a sight to behold to stand up +on top and start off. He said the swiftness of the motion, the brightness of +the electric lights ahead, the gleam of the snow made it seem like +plungin’ down a dazzlin’ Niagara of whiteness and glitterin’ +light; and some, like bein’ shot out of a cannon. Why, he said they went +with such lightnin’ speed, that if you stood clost by the slide a +waitin’ to see a friend go by, you might stand so near as to touch her, +but you couldn’t no more see her to recognize her, than you could +recognize one spoke from another in the wheel of a runaway carriage. You would +jest see a red flash go by, if so be it wuz a red gown she had on. A red flash +a dartin’ through the air, and a disappearin’ down the long +glitterin’ lane of light. +</p> + +<p> +You could see her a goin’ back, so they said, a laughin’ and a +jokin’ with somebody, if so be she walked back, but there wuz long +sleighs to carry ’em back, them and their Toboggens, if they wanted to +ride, at the small expenditure of 10 cents apiece. They go, in the fastest time +anybody can make till they go on the lightnin’, a way in which they will +go before long, I think, and Josiah duz too. +</p> + +<p> +“They said there wuzn’t nothin’ like it. And I said, +“Like as not.” I believed ’em. And then the woman said, +“This long room we wuz a standin’ in,” for we had gone back +into the house, durin’ our interview, this long room wuz all warm and +light for ’em to come into and get warm, and she said as many as 600 in a +night would come in there and have supper there. +</p> + +<p> +And then she showed us the model of a Toboggen, all sculped out, with a man and +a woman on it. The girl wuz ahead sort a drawin’ the Toboggen, as you may +say, and her lover. (I know he wuz, from his looks.) He wuz behind her, with +his face right clost to her shoulder. +</p> + +<p> +And I’ll bet that when they started down that gleamin’ slide, they +felt as if they 2 wuz alone under the stars and the heavens, and wuz a +glidin’ down into a dazzlin’ way of glory. You could see it in +their faces. I liked their faces real well. +</p> + +<p> +But the sight on ’em made Josiah Allen crazier’n ever to go too, +and he sez, “I feel as if I <i>must</i> Toboggen, Samantha!” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Be calm! Josiah, you <i>can’t</i> slide down hill in July.” +</p> + +<p> +“How do you know?” sez he, “I’m bound to +enquire.” And he asked the woman if they ever Toboggened in the summer. +</p> + +<p> +“No, never!” sez she. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “You see it can’t be done.” +</p> + +<p> +“She never see it tried,” sez he. “How can you tell what you +can do without tryin’?” sez he lookin’ shrewdly, and +longingly, up the slide. I trembled, for I knew not what the next move of his +would be. But I bethought me of a powerful weepon I had by me. And I sez, +“The driver will ask pay for every minute we are here.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image41.gif" height="331" width="213" alt="Down the Steps" /> +</div> + +<p> +And as I sez this, Josiah turned and almost flew down the steps and into the +buggy. I had skairt him. Truly I felt relieved, and sez I to myself, +“What would wimmen do if it wuzn’t for these little weepons they +hold in their hands, to control their pardners with.” I felt happy. +</p> + +<p> +But the next words of Josiah knocked down all that palace of Peace, that my +soul had betook herself to. Sez he, “Samantha Allen, before I leave +Saratoga I shall Toboggen.” +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I immegetly turned the subject round and talked wildly and almost +incoherently on politicks. I praised the tariff amost beyond its deserts. I +brung up our foreign relations, and spoke well on ’em. I tackled revenues +and taxation, and hurried him from one to the other on ’em, almost +wildly, to get the idee out of his head. And I congratulated myself on +havin’ succeeded. Alas! how futile is our hopes, sometimes futiler than +we have any idee on! +</p> + +<p> +By night all thoughts of danger had left me, and I slept sweetly and +peacefully. But early in the mornin’ I had a strange dream. I dreamed I +wuz in the woods with my head a layin’ on a log, and the ground felt cold +that I wuz a layin’ on. And then the log gin way with me, and my head +came down onto the ground. And then I slept peaceful agin, but chilly, till +anon, or about that time, I beard a strange sound and I waked up with a start. +It wuz in the first faint glow of mornin’ twilight. But as faint as the +light wuz, for the eye of love is keen, I missed my beloved pardner’s +head from the opposite pillow, and I riz up in wild agitation and thinkses I, +“Has rapine took place here; has Josiah Allen been abducted away from me? +Is he a kidnapped Josiah?” +</p> + +<p> +At that fearful thought my heart begun to beat so voyalently as to almost stop +my breath, and I felt I wuz growin’ pale and wan, wanner, fur wanner than +I had been sense I came to Saratoga. I love Josiah Allen, he is dear to me. +</p> + +<p> +And I riz up feelin’ that I would find that dear man and rescue him or +perish in the attempt. Yes, I felt that I <i>must</i> perish if I did not find him. +What would life be to me without him? And as I thought that thought the light +of the day that wuz a breakin’, looked sort of a faint to me, and +sickish. And like a flash it came to me, the thought that that light seemed +like the miserable dawns of wretched days without him, a pale light with no +warmth or brightness in it. +</p> + +<p> +But at that very minute I heard a noise outside the door, and I heard that +beloved voice a sayin’ in low axents the words I had so often heard him +speak, words I had oft rebuked him for, but now, so weak will human love make +one, now, I welcome them gladly—they sounded exquisitely sweet to me. The +words wuz, “Dumb ’em!” +</p> + +<p> +And I joyfully opened the door. But oh! what a sight met my eye. There stood +Josiah Allen, arrayed in a blanket he had took from our bed (that accounted for +my cold feelin’ in my dream). The blanket wuz white, with a gay border of +red and yellow. He had fixed it onto him in a sort of a dressy way, and +strapped it round the waist with my shawl strap. And he had took a bright +yeller silk handkerchief of hisen, and had wrapped it round his head so’s +it hung down some like a cap, and he wuz a tryin’ to fasten it round his +forward with one of my stockin’ supporters. He couldn’t buckle it, +and that is what called forth his exclamations. At his feet, partly upon the +stairs, wuz the bolster from our bed (that accounted for the log that had gin +way). And he had spread a little red shawl of mine over the top on’t, and +as I opened the door he wuz jest ready to embark on the bolster, he waz jest a +steppin’ onto it. But as he see me he paused, and I sez in low axents, +“What are you a goin’ to do, Josiah Allen?” +</p> + +<p> +“I’m a goin’ to Toboggen,” sez he. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image42.gif" height="283" width="451" alt="toboggening" /> +</div> + +<p> +Sez I, “Do you stop at once, and come back into your room.” +</p> + +<p> +“No, no!” sez he firmly, and preparin’ to embark on the +bolster, “I am a goin’ to Toboggen. And you come and go to. It is +so fashionable,” sez he, “such a genteel diversion.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Do you stop it at once, and come back to your room. Why,” +sez I, “the hull house will be routed up, and be up here in a +minute.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he, “they’ll see fun if they do and +fashion. I am a goin’, Samantha!” and be stepped forward. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “They’ll see sunthin’ else that begins with a f, but +it haint fun or fashion.’ And agin I sez, “Do you come back, Josiah +Allen. You’ll break your neck and rout up the house, and be called a +fool.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh no, Samantha! I must Toboggen. I must go down the slide once.” +And he fixed the bolster more firmly on the top stair. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, feelin’ that I wuz drove to my last ambush by +him, sez I, “probably five dollars won’t make the expenses good, +besides your doctor’s bill, and my mornin’. And I shall put on the +deepest of crape, Josiah Allen,” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +I see he wavered and I pressed the charge home. Sez I, “That bolster is +thin cloth, Josiah Allen, and you’ll probably have to pay now for +draggin’ it all over the floor. If anybody should see you with it there, +that bolster would be charged in your bill. And how would it look to the +neighbors to have a bolster charged in your bill? And I should treasure it, +Josiah Allen, as bein’ the last bill you made before you broke your neck +!” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, wall,” sez he, “I s’pose I can put the bolster +back.” But he wuz snappish, and he kep’ snappish all day. +</p> + +<p> +He wuzn’t quelled. Though he had gin in for the time bein’ I see he +wuzn’t quelled down. He acted dissatisfied and highheaded, and I felt +worried in my mind, not knowin’ what his next move would be. +</p> + +<p> +Oh! the tribulations it makes a woman to take care of a man. But then it pays. +After all, in the deepest of my tribulations I feel, I do the most of the time +feel, that it pays. When he is good he is dretful good. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I went over to see Polly Pixley the next night, and when I got back to my +room, there stood Josiah Allen with both of his feet sort a bandaged and tied +down onto sumthin’, which I didn’t at first recognize. It waz big +and sort a egg shaped, and open worked, and both his feet wuz strapped down +tight onto it, and he wuz a pushin’ himself round the room with his +umberell. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “What is the matter now, Josiah Allen; what are you a +doin’ now?” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh I am a walkin’ on snow-shoes, Samantha! But I don’t +see,” sez he a stoppin’ to rest, for he seemed tuckered out, +“I don’t see how the savages got round as they did and performed +such journeys. You put ’em on, Samantha,” sez he, “and see if +you can get on any faster in ’em.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image43.gif" height="325" width="218" alt="Snowshoes" /> +</div> + +<p> +Sez I, coldly, “The savages probable did’nt have both feet on one +shoe, Josiah Allen, as you have. I shall put on no snowshoes in the middle of +July; but if I did, I should put ’em on accordin’ to a little mite +of sense. I should try to use as much sense as a savage any way.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why, how it would look to have one foot on that great big snow-shoe. I +always did like a good close fit in my shoes. And you see I have room enough +and to spare for both on ’em on this. Why it wouldn’t look dressy +at all, Samantha, to put ’em on as you say.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I very coldly, “I don’t see anything over and above dressy in +your looks now, Josiah Allen, with both of your feet tied down onto that one +shoe, and you a tryin’ to move off when you can’t. I can’t +see anything over and above ornamental in it, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh! you are never willin’ to give in that I look dressy, Samantha. +But I s’pose I can put my feet where you say. You are so sot, but they +are too big for me—I shall look like a fool.” +</p> + +<p> +I looked at him calmly over my specks, and sez I, “I guess I +sha’n’t notice the difference or realize the change. I +wonder,” sez I, in middlin’ cold axents, “how you think you +are a lookin’ now, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh! keep a naggin’ at me!” sez he. But I see he wuz a +gittin’ kinder sick of the idee. +</p> + +<p> +“What you mean by puttin’ ’em on at all is more than I can +say,” sez I, “a tryin to walk on snowshoes right in +dog-days.” +</p> + +<p> +“I put ’em on,” Samantha, sez he, a beginnin’ to +unstrap ’em, “I put ’em on because I wanted to feel like a +savage.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “I have seen you at times durin’ the +last 20 years, when I thought you realized how they felt without snow-shoes on, +either.” +</p> + +<p> +(These little interchanges of confidence will take place in every-day life.) +But at that very minute Ardelia Tutt rapped at the door, and Josiah hustled +them snow-shoes into the closet, and that wuz the last trial I had with him +about ’em. He had borrowed ’em. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Ardelia wuz dretful pensive, and soft actin’ that night, she seemed +real tickled to see us, and to get where we wuz. She haint over and above +suited with the boardin’ place where she is, I think. I don’t +believe they have very good food, though she won’t complain, bein’ +as they are relations on her own side. And then she is sech a good little +creeter anyway. But I had my suspicions. She didn’t seem very happy. She +said she had been down to the park that afternoon, she and the young chap that +has been a payin’ her so much attention lately, Bial Flamburg. She said +they had sot down there by the deer park most all the afternoon a +watchin’ the deer. She spoke dretful well of the deer. And they are +likely deer for anything I know. But she seemed sort a pensive and low +spirited. Mebby she is a beginnin’ to find Bial Flamburg out. Mebby she +is a beginnin’ to not like his ways. He drinks and smokes, that I know, +and I’ve mistrusted worse things on him. Before Ardelia went away, she +slipped the followin’ lines into my hand, which I read after she had +left. They wuz rather melancholy and ran as follows: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“STANZAS WROTH ON A DEER IN CENTRAL PARK.<br/> +“BY ARDELIA TUTT.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh deer, sweet deer that softly steppeth out<br/> +From out thy rustick cot beneath the hill;<br/> +We would not meet thee with a wild, wild shout,<br/> +But with the low voice, low and sweet, and still<br/> +As anything.<br/> +<br/> +“And in thine ear would whisper thoughts that swell<br/> +Our bosom nigh beyond our corset’s bound;<br/> +As lo! we see thee step along the dell<br/> +And with thy horns, and eyes look all around<br/> +And up, and down.<br/> +<br/> +“We think of all thy virtue, and thy ways,<br/> +Thy simple ways of eating hay and grass;<br/> +We would not cause thy cheek to blush with praise,<br/> +Yet we have marked thee, marked thee as thou pass<br/> +We could but fain.<br/> +<br/> +“And lo! our admiration thou dost win<br/> +Thou in the haunts of fashion keep afar,<br/> +Thou dost not lo! imbibe vile beer or gin,<br/> +Or smoke with pipe, or with a bad cigar,<br/> +Or cigarette.<br/> +<br/> +“Thou dost not flirt nor cast sheep eyes on her<br/> +Who is bound unto another by a vow—<br/> +Thou dost not murmur love words in her ear,<br/> +While husband’s prowl about, to make a row<br/> +Or shoot with gun.<br/> +<br/> +“Thou dost not drive in tandem, or on high—<br/> +In stately loneliness, in Tally Ho go round,<br/> +Thou dost not on a horse back nobly canter by,<br/> +Or drive in dog carts up and down the land,<br/> +By day or night.<br/> +<br/> +“For ice cream, or for custard pie thou hankerest not,<br/> +Yearn not for caramels, nor apple sass,<br/> +Thou dost not eat pop corn, or peanuts down the grot,<br/> +Ah! no, sweet deer, thou meekly eatest grass<br/> +In peace.<br/> +<br/> +“A lesson man might learn of thee full well,<br/> +To eat with sweet content tough steak, or thin;<br/> +Cold toast, or hot imbibe, think of that dell—<br/> +That patient deer, and eat in peace, nor sin<br/> +With profane word.<br/> +<br/> +“If waiters do not come with food, think on that deer,<br/> +If food be bad and cold, think on that dell,<br/> +Strike not for vengeance with a deadly spear,<br/> +Learn of that angel deer and murmur, all is well,<br/> +While eating grass.”<br/> +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap14"></a>Chapter XIV.<br/> +LAKE GEORGE AND MOUNT McGREGOR.</h2> + +<p> +It wuz on a nice pleasant day that Ardelia Tuit, Josiah Allen, and me, met by +previous agreement quite early in the mornin’, A. M., and sot out for +Lake George. It is so nigh, that you can step onto the cars, and go out and see +George any time of day. +</p> + +<p> +It seemed to me jest as if George wuz glad we had come, for there wuz a broad +happy smile all over his face, and a sort of a dimplin’ look, as if he +wanted to laugh right out. All the beckonin’ shores and islands, with +their beautiful houses on ’em, and the distant forests, and the trees a +bendin’ over George, all seemed to sort a smile out a welcome to us. We +had a most beautiful day, and got back quite late in the afternoon, P. M. +</p> + +<p> +And the next day, a day heavenly calm and fair, Josiah Allen and me sot sail +for Mount McGregor—that mountain top that is lifted up higher in the +hearts of Americans than any other peak on the continent—fur higher. For +it is the place where the memory of a Hero lays over all the peaceful landscape +like a inspiration and a benediction, and will rest there forever. +</p> + +<p> +The railroad winds round and round the mountain sometimes not seemin’ly +goin’ up at all, but gradually a movin’ in’ on towards the +top, jest as this brave Hero did in his career. If some of the time he +didn’t seem to move on, or if some of the time he seemed to go back for a +little, yet there wuz a deathless fire inside on him, a power, a strength that +kep’ him a goin’ up, up, up, and drawin’ the nation up with +him onto the safe level ground of Victory. +</p> + +<p> +We got pleasant glimpses of beauty, pretty pictures on’t, every little +while as we wended our way on up the mountains. Anon we would go round a curve, +a ledge of rocks mebby, and lo! far off a openin’ through the woods would +show us a lovely picture of hill and dell, blue water and blue mountains in the +distance. And then a green wood picture, shut in and lonely, with tall ferns, +and wild flowers, and thick green grasses under the bendin’ trees. Then +fur down agin’ a picture of a farmhouse, sheltered and quiet, with fields +layin’ about it green and golden. +</p> + +<p> +But anon, we reached the pretty little lonesome station, and there we wuz on +top of Mount McGregor. We disembarked from the cars and wended our way up the +hill up the windin’ foot path, wore down by the feet of pilgrims from +every land, quite a tegus walk though beautiful, up to the good-lookin’, +and good appearin’ tarven. +</p> + +<p> +I would fain have stopped at that minute at the abode the Hero had sanctified +by his last looks. But my companion said to me that he wuz in nearly a +starvin’ state. Now it wuzn’t much after 11 A. M. forenoon, and I +felt that he would not die of starvation so soon. But his looks wuz pitiful in +the extreme and he reminded me in a sort of a weak voice that he didn’t +eat no breakfast hardly. +</p> + +<p> +I sez truthfully, “I didn’t notice it, Josiah.” But sez I, +“I will accompany you where your hunger can be slaked.” So we went +straight up to the tarven. +</p> + +<p> +But I would stop a minute in front of it, to see the lovely, lovely seen that +wuz spread out before our eyes. For fur off could we see milds and milds of the +beautiful country a layin’ fur below us. Beautiful landscape, dotted with +crystal lakes, laved by the blue Hudson and bordered by the fur-away mountains. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a fair seen, a fair seen. Even Josiah wuz rousted up by it, and forgot +his hunger. I myself wuz lost in the contemplation on it, and entirely by the +side of myself. So much so, that I forgot where I wuz, and whether I wuz a wife +or a widow, or what I wuz. +</p> + +<p> +But anon, as my senses came back from the realm of pure beauty they had been a +traversin’, I recollected that I wuz a wife, that Providence and Elder +Minkley had placed a man in my hands to take care on; and I see he wuz gone +from me, and I must look him up. +</p> + +<p> +And I found that man in one of the high tallish lookin’ swing chairs that +wuz a swingin’ from high poles all along the brow of the hill. They +looked some like a stanchol for a horse, and some like a pair of galluses that +criminals are hung on. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah wuzn’t able to work it right and it did require a deep mind to get +into one without peril. And he wuz on the brink of a catastrophe. I got him out +by siezin’ the chair and holdin’ it tight, till he dismounted from +it—which he did with words unadapted to the serenity of the atmosphere. +And then we went out the broad pleasant door-yard up into the tarven, and my +companion got some coffee, and some refreshments, to refresh ourselves with. +And then he, feelin’ clever and real affectionate to me (owin’ +partly I s’pose to the good dinner), we wended our way down to the +cottage where the Hero met his last foe and fell victorious. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image44.gif" height="333" width="317" alt="The Swing Chair" /> +</div> + +<p> +We went up the broad steps onto the piazza, and I looked off from it, and over +all the landscape under the soft summer sky, lay that same beautiful tender +inspired memory. It lay like the hush that follows a prayer at a dyin’ +bed. Like the glow that rests on the world when the sun has gone down in glory. +Like the silence full of voices that follows a oriter’s inspired words. +</p> + +<p> +The air, the whole place, thrilled with that memory, that presence that wuz +with us, though unseen to the eyes of our spectacles. It followed us through +the door way, it went ahead on us into the room where the pen wuz laid down for +the last time, where the last words wuz said. That pen wuz hung up over the bed +where the tired head had rested last. By the bedside wuz the candle blowed out, +when he got to the place where it is so light they don’t need candles. +The watch stopped at the time when he begun to recken time by the deathless +ages of immortality. And as I stood there, I said to myself, “I wish I +could see the faces that wuz a bendin’ over this bed, August 11th, +1885.” +</p> + +<p> +All the ministerin’ angels, and heroes, and conquerors, all a +waitin’ for him to join ’em. All the Grand Army of the Republic, +them who fell in mountain and valley; the lamented and the nameless, all, all a +waitin’ for the Leader they loved, the silent, quiet man, whose soul +spoke, who said in deeds what weaker spirits waste in language. +</p> + +<p> +I wished I could see the great army that stood around Mount McGregor that day. +I wished I could hear the notes of the immortal revelee, which wuz a +soundin’ all along the lines callin’ him to wake from his earth +sleep into life—callin’ him from the night here, the night of +sorrow and pain, into the mornin’. +</p> + +<p> +And as I lifted my eyes, the eyes of the General seemed to look cleer down into +my soul, full of the secrets that he could tell now, if he wanted to, full of +the mysteries of life, the mysteries of death. The voiceless presence that +filled the hull landscape, earth and air, looked at us through them eyes, half +mournful, prophetic, true and calm, they wuz a lookin’ through all the +past, through all the future. What did they see there? I couldn’t tell, +nor Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +In another room wuz the flowers from many climes. Flowers strewed onto the +stage from hands all over the world, when the foot lights burned low, and the +dark curtain went down for the last time on the Hero. Great masses of flowers, +every one on ’em, bearin’ the world’s love, the world’s +sorrow over our nation’s loss. +</p> + +<p> +I had a large quantity of emotions as I stood there, probably as many as 48 a +minute for quite a spell, and that is a large number of emotions to have, when +the size of ’em is as large as the sizes of ’em wuz. I thought as I +stood there of what I had hearn the Hero said once in his last illness, that, +liftin’ up his grand right arm that had saved the Nation, he said, +“I am on duty from four to six.” +</p> + +<p> +Yes, thinkses I, he wuz on duty all through the shadows and the darkness of +war, all through the peril, and the heartache, and the wild alarm of war, calm +and dauntless, he wuz on duty till the mornin’ of peace came, and the +light wuz shinin’. +</p> + +<p> +On duty through the darkness. No one believed, no one dared to think that if +peril had come again to the country, he would not have been ready,—ready +to face danger and death for the people he had saved once, the people whom he +loved, because he had dared death for ’em. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, he wuz on duty. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz a darker shadow come to him than any cloud that ever rose over a +battle-field when, honest and true himself as the light, he still stood under +the shadow of blame and impendin’ want, stood in the blackest shadow that +can cover generous, faithful hearts, the heart-sickenin’ shadow of +ingratitude; when the people he had saved from ruin hesitated, and refused to +give him in the time of his need the paltry pension, the few dollars out of the +millions he had saved for them, preferring to allow <i>him</i>, the greatest hero of +the world, the man who had represented them before the nations, to sell the +badges and swords he had worn in fightin’ their battles, for bread for +himself and wife. +</p> + +<p> +But he wuz on duty all through this night. Patient, uncomplainin’. And +not one of these warriors fightin’ their bloodless battle of words aginst +him, would dare to say that he would not have been ready at any minute, to give +his life agin for these very men, had danger come to the country and they had +needed him. +</p> + +<p> +And when hastened on by the shock, and the suspense, death seemed to be near +him, so near that it seemed as if the burden must needs be light—the +tardy justice that came to him must have seemed like an insult, but if he +thought so he never said it; no, brave and patient, he wuz on duty. +</p> + +<p> +And all through the long, long time that he looked through the shadows for a +more sure foe than had ever lain in Southern ambush for him, he wuz on duty. +Not an impatient word, not an anxious word. Of all the feerin’, +doubtin’, hopin’, achin’ hearts about him, he only wuz calm. +</p> + +<p> +For, not only his own dear ones, but the hull country, friends and foes alike, +as if learnin’ through fear of his loss how grand a hero he wuz, and how +greatly and entirely he wuz beloved by them all, they sent up to Heaven such a +great cloud of prayers for his safety as never rose for any man. But he only +wuz calm, while the hull world wuz excited in his behalf. +</p> + +<p> +For the sight of his patient work, the sight of him who stopped dyin’ (as +it were) to earn by his own brave honest hand the future comfort of his family, +amazed, and wonderin’ at this spectacle, one of the greatest it seems to +me that ever wuz seen on earth, the hull nation turned to him in such a full +hearted love, and admiration, and worship, that they forgot in their quicker +adorin’ heart-throbs, the slower meaner throbs they had gin him, this +same brave Hero, jest as brave and true-hearted in the past as he wuz on his +grand death-bed. +</p> + +<p> +They forgot everything that had gone by in their worship, and I don’t +know but I ort to. Mebby I had. I shouldn’t wonder a mite if I had. But +all the while, all through the agony and the labor, and when too wearied he lay +down the pen,—he wuz on duty. +</p> + +<p> +Waitin’ patiently, fearlessly, till he should see in the first glow of +the sunrise the form of the angel comin’ to relieve his watch, the tall, +fair angel of Rest, that the Great Commander sent down in the mornin’ +watches to relieve his weary soldier,that divinest angel that ever comes to the +abode of men, though her beauty shines forever through tears, led by her hand, +he has left life’s battle-field forever; and what is left to this nation +but memory, love, and mebby remorse. +</p> + +<p> +But little matters it to him, the Nation’s love or the Nation’s +blame, restin’ there by the calm waters he loved. The tides come in, and +the tides go out; jest as they did in his life; the fickle tide of public favor +that swept by him, movin’ him not on his heavenly mission of duty and +patriotism. +</p> + +<p> +The tides go out, and the tides come in; the wind wails and the wind sings its +sweet summer songs; but he does not mind the melody or the clamor. He is +resting. Sleep on, Hero beloved, while the world wakes to praise thee. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we sot sail from Mount McGregor about half-past four P. M., afternoon. +And we wound round and round the mountain side jest as he did, only goin’ +down into the valley instid of upwards. But the trees that clothed the bare +back of the mountain looked green and shinin’ in the late afternoon +sunlight, and the fields spread out in the valley looked green and peaceful +under the cool shadows of approachin’ sunset. +</p> + +<p> +And right in the midst of one of these fields, all full of white daisies, the +cars stopped and the conductor sung out: “Five minutes’ stop at +Daisy station. Five minutes to get out and pick daisies.” +</p> + +<p> +And sez Josiah to me in gruff axents, when I asked him if he wuz goin’ to +get out and pick some. Sez he, “Samantha, no man can go ahead of me in +hatin’ the dumb weeds, and doin’ his best towards uprootin’ +’em in my own land; and I deeply sympathize with any man who is over run +by ’em. But why am I beholdin’ to the man that owns this lot? Why +should I and all the rest of this carload of folks, all dressed up in our best +too, lay hold and weed out these infernal nuisances for nothin’?” +</p> + +<p> +Yes, he said these fearfully profane words to me and I herd him in silence, for +I did not want to make a seen in public. Sez I, “Josiah, they are +pickin’ ’em because they love ’em.” +</p> + +<p> +“Love ’em!” Oh, the fearful, scornful unbelievin’ look +that came over my pardner’s face, as I said these peaceful words to him. +And he added a expletive which I am fur from bein’ urged to ever repeat. +It wuz sinful. +</p> + +<p> +“Love ’em!” Agin he sez. And agin follerd a expletive that +wuz still more forcible, and still more sinful. And I felt obliged to check him +which I did. And after a long parlay, in which I used my best endeavors of +argument and reason to convince him that I wuz in the right on’t, I see +he wuzn’t convinced. And then I spoke about its bein’ fashionable +to get out and pick ’em, and he looked different to once. I could see a +change in him. All my arguments of the beauty and sweetness of the posies had +no effect, but when I said fashionable, he faltered, and he sez, “Is it +called a genteel diversion?” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “Yes.” +</p> + +<p> +And finally he sez, “Wall, I s’pose I can go out and pick some for +you. Dumb their dumb picters.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Don’t go in that spirit, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I shall go in jest that sprit,” he snapped out, “if I +go at all.” And he went. +</p> + +<p> +But oh! it wuz a sight to set and look on, and see the look onto his face, as +he picked the innocent blossoms. It wuz a look of such deep loathin’, and +hatred, combined with a sort of a genteel, fashionable air. +</p> + +<p> +Altogether it wuz the most curius, and strange look, that I ever see outside of +a menagery of wild animals. And he had that same look onto his face as he came +in and gin ’em to me. He had yanked’em all up by their roots too, +which made the Bokay look more strange. But I accepted of it in silence, for I +see by his mean that he wuz not in a condition to brook another word. +</p> + +<p> +And I trembled when a bystander a standin’ by who wuz arrangin’ a +beautiful bunch of ’em, a handlin’ ’em as flowers ort to be +handled, as if they had a soul, and could feel a rough or tender +touch,—this man sez to Josiah, “I see that you too love this +beautiful blossom.” +</p> + +<p> +I wuz glad the man’s eyes wuz riveted onto his Bokay, for the ferocity of +Josiah Allen’s look wuz sunthin’ fearful. He looked as if he could +tear him lim’ from lim’. +</p> + +<p> +And I hastily drawed Josiah to a seat at the other end of the car, and +voyalently, but firmly, I drawed his attention off onto Religion. +</p> + +<p> +I sez, “Josiah, do you believe we had better paint the steeple of the +meetin’-house, white or dark colered?” +</p> + +<p> +This wuz a subject that had rent Jonesville to its very twain. And Josiah had +been fearfully exercised on it. And this plan of mine succeeded. He got +eloquent on it, and I kinder held off, and talked offish, and let him convince +me. +</p> + +<p> +I did it from principle. +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap15"></a>Chapter XV.<br/> +ADVENTURES AT VARIOUS SPRINGS.</h2> + +<p> +A few days after this, Josiah Allen came in, and sez he, “The +Everlastin’ spring is the one for me, Samantha! I believe it will keep me +alive for hundreds and hundreds of years.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “I don’t believe that, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, it is so, whether you believe it or not. Why, I see a feller just +now who sez he don’t believe anybody would ever die at all, if they +kep’ themselves’ kind a wet through all the time with this +water.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Josiah Allen, you are not talkin’ Bible. The Bible sez, +‘all flesh is as grass.’” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, that is what he meant; if the grass wuz watered with that water +all the time, it would never wilt.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, shaw!” sez I. (I seldom say shaw, but this seemed to me a time +for shawin’.) +</p> + +<p> +But Josiah kep’ on, for he wuz fearfully excited. Sez he, “Why, the +feller said, there wuz a old man who lived right by the side of this spring, +and felt the effects of it inside and out all the time, it wuz so healthy +there. Why the old man kep’ on a livin’, and a livin’ till he +got to be a hundred. And he wuz kinder lazy naturally and he got tired of +livin’. He said he wuz tired of gettin’ up mornin’s and +dressin’ of him, tired of pullin’ on his boots and drawin’ on +his trowsers, and he told his grandson Sam to take him up to Troy and let him +die. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, Sam took him up to Troy, and he died right away, almost. And Sam +bein’ a good-hearted chap, thought it would please the old man to he +buried down by the spring, that healthy spot. So he took him back there in a +wagon he borrowed. And when he got clost to the spring, Sam heard a sithe, and +he looked back, and there the old gentleman wuz a settin’ up a +leanin’ his head on his elbo and he sez, in a sort of a sad way, not mad, +but melanecolly, ‘You hadn’t ort to don it, Sam. You hadn’t +ort to. I’m in now for another hundred years.’” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image45.gif" height="275" width="395" alt="The Everlastin’ Spring" /> +</div> + +<p> +I told Josiah I didn’t believe that. Sez I, “I believe the waters +are good, very good, and the air is healthy here in the extreme, but I +don’t believe that.” +</p> + +<p> +But he said it wuz a fact, and the feller said he could prove it. +“Why,” Josiah sez, “with the minerals there is in that +spring, if you only take enough of it, I don’t see how anybody can +die.” And sez Josiah, “I am a goin’ to jest live on that +water while I am here.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “you must do as you are a mind to, with fear +and tremblin’.” +</p> + +<p> +I thought mebby quotin’ Scripture to him would kinder quell him down, for +he wuz fearfully agitated and wrought up about the Everlastin’ spring. +And he begun at once to calculate on it, on how much he could drink of it, if +he begun early in the mornin’ and drinked late at night. +</p> + +<p> +But I kep’ on megum. I drinked the waters that seemed to help me and made +me feel better, but wuz megum in it, and didn’t get over excited about +any on ’em. But oh! oh! the quantities of that water that Josiah Allen +took! Why, it seemed as if he would make a perfect shipwreck of his own body, +and wash himself away, till one day he came in fearful excited agin, and sez +he, in agitated axents, “I made a mistake, Samantha. The Immortal spring +is the one for me.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why?” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, I have jest seen a feller that has been a tellin’ me about +it.” +</p> + +<p> +“What did he say?” sez I, in calm axents. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I’ll tell you. It has acted on my feelin’s +dretful.” Says he, “I have shed some tears.” (I see Josiah +Allen had been a cryin’ when he came in.) +</p> + +<p> +And I sez agin, “What is it?” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” he said, “this man had a dretful sick wife. And he +wuz a carryin’ her to the Immortal spring jest as fast as he could, for +he felt it would save her, if he could get her to it. But she died a mile and a +half from the spring. It wuz night, for he had traveled night and day to get +her there, and the tarvens wuz all shut up, and he laid her on the spring-house +floor, and laid down himself on one of the benches. He took a drink himself, +the last thing before he laid down, for he felt that he must have +sunthin’ to sustain him in his affliction. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, in the night he heard a splashin’, and he rousted up, and he +see that he had left the water kinder careless the night before, and it had +broke loose and covered the floor and riz up round the body, and there she wuz, +all bright and hearty, a splashin’ and a swimmin’ round in the +water.” He said the man cried like a child when he told him of it. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image46.gif" height="266" width="387" alt="The Immortal Spring" /> +</div> + +<p> +And sez Josiah, “It wuz dretful affectin’. It brought tears from +me, to hear on’t. I thought what if it had been you, Samantha!” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “I don’t see no occasion for tears, +unless you would have been sorry to had me brung to.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh!” sez Josiah, “I didn’t think! I guess I have cried +in the wrong place.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I coldly, “I should think as much.” +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah put on his hat and hurried out. He meant well. But it is quite a +nack for pardners to know jest when to cry, and when to laff. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, he follered up that spring, and drinked more, fur more than wuz good for +him of that water. And then anon, he would hear of another one, and some +dretful big story about it, and he would foller that up, and so it went on, he +a follerin’ on, and I a bein’ megum, and drinkin’ stiddy, but +moderate. And as it might be expected, I gained in health every day, and every +hour. For the waters is good, there haint no doubt of it. +</p> + +<p> +But Josiah takin’ em as he did, bobbin’ round from one to the +other, drinkin’ ’em at all hours of day and night, and +floodin’ himself out with ’em, every one on ’em—why, he +lost strength and health every day, till I felt truly, that if it went on much +longer, I should go home in weeds. Not mullein, or burdock, or anything of that +sort, but crape. +</p> + +<p> +But at last a event occurred that sort a sot him to thinkin’ and quelled +him down some. One day we sot out for a walk, Josiah and Ardelia Tutt and me. +And in spite of all my protestations, my pardner had drinked 11 glasses full of +the spring he wuz a follerin’ then. And he looked white round the lips as +anything. And Ardelia and I wuz a sittin’ in a good shady place, and +Josiah a little distance off, when a man ackosted him, a man with black eyes +and black whiskers, and sez, “You look pale, Sir. What water are you a +drinkin’?” +</p> + +<p> +And Josiah told him that at that time he wuz a drinkin’ the water from +the Immortal spring. +</p> + +<p> +“Drinkin’ that water?” sez the man, startin’ back +horrefied. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez Josiah, turnin’ paler than ever, for the +man’s looks wuz skairful in the extreme. +</p> + +<p> +“Oh! oh!” groaned the man. “And you are a married man?” +he groaned out mournfully, a lookin’ pitifully at him. “With a +family?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez Josiah, faintly. +</p> + +<p> +“Oh dear,” sez the man, “must it be so, to die, so—so +lamented?” +</p> + +<p> +“To die!” sez Josiah, turnin’ white jest round the lip. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, to die! Did you not say you had been a drinkin’ the water +from the Immortal spring?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, it is a certain, a deadly poison.” +</p> + +<p> +“Haint there no help for me?” sez Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez the man, “You must drink from the Live-forever +spring, at the other end of the village. That water has the happy effect of +neutralizin’ the poisons of the Immortal spring. If anything can save you +that can. Why,” sez he, “folks that have been entirely broke down, +and made helpless and hopeless invalids, them that have been brung down on +their death-beds by the use of that vile Immortal water, have been cured by a +few glasses of the pure healin’ waters of the Live-forever spring. +I’d advise you for your own sake, and the sake of your family, who would +mourn your ontimely decese, to drink from that spring at once.” +</p> + +<p> +“But,” sez Josiah, with a agonized and hopeless look, “I +can’t drink no more now.” +</p> + +<p> +“Why?” sez the man. +</p> + +<p> +“Because I don’t hold any more. I don’t hold but two quarts, +and I have drinked 11 tumblers full now.” +</p> + +<p> +“Eleven glasses of that poison?” sez the man. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, if it is too late I am not to blame. I’ve warned you. +Farewell,” sez he, a graspin’ holt of Josiah’s hand. +“Farewell, forever. But if you <i>do</i> live,” sez he, “if by a +miricle you are saved, remember the Live-forever spring. If there is any help +for you it is in them waters.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image47.gif" height="288" width="326" alt="The Live-forever Spring" /> +</div> + +<p> +And he dashed away, for another stranger wuz approachin’ the seen. +</p> + +<p> +I, myself, didn’t have no idee that Josiah wuz a goin’ to die. But +Ardelia whispered to me, she must go back to the hotel, so she went. I see she +looked kinder strange, and I didn’t object to it. And when we got back +she handed me some verses entitled: +</p> + +<p> +“Stanzas on the death of Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +She handed ’em to me, and hastened away, quick. But Josiah Allen +didn’t die. And this incident made him more megum. More as I wanted him +to be. Why, you have to be megum in everything, no matter how good it is. Milk +porridge, or the Bible, or anything. You can kill yourself on milk porridge if +you drink enough. And you can set down and read the Bible, till you grow to +your chair, and lose your eyesight. +</p> + +<p> +Now these waters are dretful good, but you have got to use some megumness <i>with</i> +’em, it stands to reason you have. Taint megum to drink from 10 to 12 +glasses at a time, and mix your drinks goin’ round from spring to spring +like a luny. No; get a good doctor to tell you what minerals you seem to stand +in need on the most, and then try to get ’em with fear and +tremblin’. You’ll get help I haint a doubt on’t. For they are +dretful good for varius things that afflict the human body. Dretful! +</p> + +<p> +These are the verses of Ardelia: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“STANZAS ON THE DEATH OF JOSIAH ALLEN.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh! angel man that erst did live and move,<br/> +Thy wings close furled within a broad cloth vest,<br/> +With cambric back, oh, soul of love<br/> +That in those depths reposed—Alas why wrest<br/> +Why wildly tear,<br/> +<br/> +“Oh death, that soul, white nigh upon as snow,<br/> +From body, small perhaps, by stillyards weighed,<br/> +And full as light complexioned, as men go,<br/> +As is the common run of men, arrayed,<br/> +Oh yes, arrayed,<br/> +<br/> +“In graces full he wentest to his fate,<br/> +His doom wuz pure as men’s dooms ever are;<br/> +Not by the brandy bottle fell he desolate<br/> +No, by sweet water fell he, with a noble air,<br/> +And breath of balm,<br/> +<br/> +“Not with a feud with neighbor foe he fell<br/> +Nor scaffolds did he tread with aching feet<br/> +Nor arson he, nor rapine down the dell,<br/> +No, pure white soul, he fell by water sweet;<br/> +All innocent.<br/> +<br/> +“Had whisky strong his slight form overthrew—<br/> +We’d weep with finger hiding all our face,<br/> +To think a sling should slung at him and slew,<br/> +But no, by water fell he, no disgrace—<br/> +No direful shame.<br/> +<br/> +“Rests on his tomb, his bride; the world around,<br/> +Methinks a world might wish to fall like him<br/> +The prophets of old time who smiled and frowned<br/> +Could court such fate, we feel Abim—<br/> +We feel Abim—<br/> +<br/> +“ilek, or Job, might be content to die<br/> +With crystal water, drunken from a glass,<br/> +Held by a boy, and no great quantitie<br/> +Drunk he, not over nine in all, alas,<br/> +Or ten, or ’leven.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh, spring, oh, magnesie percipitate<br/> +And sodium and iron—and everything,<br/> +Methinks ye’ll sadder feel, since his sad fate<br/> +Who drunk thee up, not thinking anything—<br/> +We do suppose—<br/> +<br/> +“Not anything of poison ye might keep<br/> +Might hold within thy crystal foaming breast<br/> +Why did he not the other spring drink deep,<br/> +And live? But oh! why ask? sweet angel spirit rest<br/> +From water far.<br/> +<br/> +“Dear man, we raise this mound of verse o’er thee,<br/> +Would that ’twere higher, and more fiery bright.<br/> +We will, we will, while nations disagree,<br/> +Sit down and write as many as it seemeth right<br/> +Unto his wife.”<br/> +</p> + +<p> +On the other side of the paper, as if wrote later, wuz the follerin’ +lines. Ardelia is truthful. This is her strong point, that and her ambition. +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“MY OWN LAY ON A SPRING.<br/> +“BV ARDELIA TUTT.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh who can tell when air is full of warn<br/> +What crystal drop shall speed us to our fate,<br/> +And I alas, so blind, shall still drink on,<br/> +Shall drink thee early, and shall drink thee late<br/> +From every spring.<br/> +<br/> +“Shall drink as many glasses as I hold,<br/> +One quart, or two, as fate shall thus decree,<br/> +Some are but vessels weak, some bold<br/> +And dauntless, hold from two quarts up to three,<br/> +Or thereabouts.<br/> +<br/> +“Shall drink from wells all gemmed with crystal rays<br/> +With golden sheen, up sparkling to the rim,<br/> +And that is pure and clear to outward gaze<br/> +With hathorn bending gently o’er the brim<br/> +And every sort.” +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap16"></a>Chapter XVI.<br/> +AT A LAWN PARTY.</h2> + +<p> +Wall, the very next mornin’ Miss Flamm sent word for Josiah and me to +come that night to a lawn party. And I sez at once, “I must go and get +some lawn.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Josiah, “What will you do with it?” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “Oh, I s’pose I shall wrap it round me, I’ll do +what the rest do.” +</p> + +<p> +And sez Josiah, “Hadn’t I ort to have some too? If it is a lawn +party and everybody else has it, I shall feel like a fool without any +lawn.” +</p> + +<p> +And I looked at him in deep thought, and through him into the causes and +consequences of things, and sez I, “I s’pose you do ort to have a +lawn necktie, or handkerchief, or sunthin’.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “How would a vest look made out of it, a kinder sprigged one, +light gay colors on a yaller ground-work?” +</p> + +<p> +But I sez at once, “You never will go out with me, Josiah, with a lawn +vest on.” And I settled it right there on the spot. +</p> + +<p> +Then he proposed to have some wrapped round his hat, sort a festooned. But I +stood like marble aginst that idee. But I knew I had got to have some lawn, and +pretty soon we sallied out together and wended our way down to where I should +be likely to find a lawn store. +</p> + +<p> +And who should we meet a comin’ out of a store but Ardelia. Her 3d cousin +had sent her over to get a ingregient for cookin’. Good, willin’ +little creeter! She walked along with us for a spell. And while she wuz a +walkin’ along with us, we come onto a sight that always looked pitiful to +me, the old female that wuz always a’ sittin’ there a singin’ +and playin’ on a accordeun. And it seemed to me that she looked +pitifuller and homblier than ever, as she sot there amongst the dense crowd +that mornin’ a singin’ and a playin’. Her tone wuz thin, thin +as gauze, hombly gause too. But I wondered to myself how she wuz a +feelin’ inside of her own mind, and what voices she heard a +speakin’ to her own soul, through them hombly strains. And, ontirely +unbeknown to myself, I fell into a short revery (short but deep) right there in +the street, as I looked down on her, a settin’ there so old, and patient +and helpless, amongst the gay movin’ throng. +</p> + +<p> +And I wondered what did she see, a settin’ there with her blind eyes, +what did she hear through them hombly tones that she wuz a singin’ day +after day to a crowd that wuz indifferent to her, or despised her? Did she hear +the song of the mornin’, the spring time of life? Did the song of a lark +come back to her, a lark flyin’ up through the sweet mornin’ sky +over the doorway of a home, a lark watched by young eyes, two pairs of +’em, that made the seein’ a blessedness? Did a baby’s first +sweet blunders of speech, and happy laughter come back to her, as she sot there +a drawin’ out with her wrinkled hands them miserable sounds from the +groanin’ instrument? Did home, love, happiness sound out to her, out of +them hombly strains? I’d have gin a cent to know. +</p> + +<p> +And I’d have gin a cent quick to know if the +tread—tread—tread of the crowd goin’ past her day after day, +hour after hour, seems to her like the trample of Time a marchin’ on. Did +she hear in ’em the footsteps of child, or lover, or friend, a +steppin’ away from her, and youth and happiness, and hope, a stiddy +goin’ away from her? +</p> + +<p> +Did she ever listen through the constant sound of them steps, listen to hear +the tread of them feet that she must know wuz a comin’ nigh to +her—the icy feet that will approach us, if their way leads over rocks or +roses? +</p> + +<p> +Did she hate to hear them steps a comin’ nearer to her, or did she strain +her ears to hear ’em, to welcome ’em? I thought like as not she +did. For thinkses I to myself, and couldn’t help it, if she is a +Christian she must be glad to change that old accordeun for a harp of any size +or shape. For mournfuller and more melancholy sounds than her voice and that +instrument made I never hearn, nor ever expect to hear, and thin. +</p> + +<p> +Poor, old, hombly critter, I gin her quite a lot of change one day, and she +braced up and sung and drawed out faster than ever, and thinner. Though +I’d have gladly hearn her stop. +</p> + +<p> +When I come up out of my revery, I see Ardelia lookin’ at her stiddy and +kind a sot. And I mistrusted trouble wuz ahead on me, and I hurried Josiah down +the street. Ardelia a sayin’ she had got to turn the corner, to go to +another place for her 3d cousin. +</p> + +<p> +Jest as we wuz a crossin’ a street my companion drawed my attention to a +sign that wuz jest overhead, and sez lie, “That means me, I’m spoke +of right out, and hung up overhead.” +</p> + +<p> +And sez I, “What do you mean?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “Read it—‘The First Man-I-Cure Of The Day.’ +That’s me, Samantha; I haint a doubt of it. And I s’pose I ort to +go in and be cured. I s’pose probably it will be expected of me, that I +should go in, and let him look at my corns.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Josiah Allen, I’ve heerd you talk time and agin aginst big +feelin’ folks, and here you be a talkin’ it right to yourself, and +callin’ yourself the first man of the day.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he firmly, “I believe it, and I believe you do, +and you’d own up to it, if you wuzn’t so aggravatin’.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, sez I mildly, “I do think you are the first in some things, +though what them things are, I would be fur from wantin’ to tell you. +But,” I continued on, “I don’t see you should think that +means you. Saratoga is full of men, and most probable every man of ’em +thinks it means him.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he, “I don’t <i>think</i> it means me, I <i>know</i> it. +And I s’pose,” he continued dreamily, “they’d cure me, +and not charge a cent.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “wait till another time, Josiah Allen.” +And jest at this minute, right down under our feet, we see the word +“Pray,” in big letters scraped right out in stun. And Josiah sez, +“I wonder if the dumb fools think anybody is goin to kneel down right +here in the street, and be run over. Why a man would be knocked over a dozen +times, before he got through one prayer, Now I lay me down to sleep, or +anything.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, mildly, “I don’t think that would be a +very suitable prayer under the circumstances. It haint expected that +you’d lay down here for a nap—howsumever,” sez I reesunably +“their puttin’ the word there shows what good streaks the folks +here have, and I don’t want you to make light on’t, and if you +don’t want to act like a perfect backslider you’ll ceese +usin’ such profane language on sech a solemn subject.” +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we went into a good lookin’store and I wuz jest a lookin’ at +some lawn and a wonderin’ how many yards I should want, when who should +come in but Miss Flamm to get a rooch for her neck. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image48.gif" height="296" width="323" alt="Looking at some lawn" /> +</div> + +<p> +And she told me that I didn’t need any lawn, and that it wuz a Garden +party, and folks dressed in anything they wuz a mind to, though sez she, +“A good many go in full dress.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I calmly, “I have got one.” And she told me +to come in good season. +</p> + +<p> +That afternoon, Josiah a bein’ out for a walk, I took out of my trunk a +dress that Alminy Hagidon had made for me out of a very full pattern I had got +of a peddler, and wanted it all put in, so’s it would fade all alike, for +I mistrusted it wouldn’t wash. It wuz gethered-in full round the waist, +and the sleeves wuz set in full, and the waist wuz kinder full before, and it +had a deep high ruffle gathered-in full round the neck. It wuz a very full +dress, though I haint proud, and never wuz called so. Yet anybody duz take a +modest pleasure in bein’ equal to any occasion and comin’ up nobly +to a emergency. And I own that I did say to myself, as I pulled out the gethers +in front, “Wall, there may be full dresses there to-night, but there will +be none fuller than mine.” +</p> + +<p> +And I wuz glad that Alminy had made it jest as she had. She had made it a +little fuller than even I had laid out to have it, for she mistrusted it would +shrink in washin’. It wuz a very full dress. It wuz cambrick dark +chocolate, with a set flower of a kind of a cinnamon brown and yellow, it wuz +bran new and looked well. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I had got it on, and wuz contemplatin’ its fullness with +complacency and a hand-glass, a seein’ how nobly it stood out behind, and +how full it wuz, when Josiah Allen came in. I had talked it over with him, +before he went out—and he wuz as tickled as I wuz, and tickleder, to +think I had got jest the right dress for the occasion. But he sez to me the +first thing—“You are all wrong, Samantha, full dress means low neck +and short sleeves.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “I know better!” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “It duz.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Somebody has been a foolin’ you, Josiah Allen! There +ain’t no sense in it. Do you s’pose folks would call a dress full, +when there wuzn’t more’n half a waist and sleeves to it. I’d +try to use a little judgment, Josiah Allen! “ +</p> + +<p> +But he contended that he wuz in the right on’t. And he took up his best +vest that lay on the bed, and sot down, and took out his jack knife and went a +rippin’ open one of the shoulders, and sez I, “What are you +doin’, Josiah Allen?” +</p> + +<p> +“Why, you can do as you are a mind to, Samantha Allen,” sez he. +“But I shall go fashionable, I shall go in full dress.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “Josiah Allen do you look me in the face and say you are a +goin’ in a low neck vest, and everything, to that party to-night?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, mom, I be. I am bound to be fashionable.” And he went to +rollin’ up his shirt sleeves and turnin’ in the neck of his shirt, +in a manner that wuz perfectly immodest. +</p> + +<p> +I turned my head away instinctively, for I felt that my cheek wuz a +gettin’ as red as blood, partly through delicacy and partly through +righteous anger. Sez I, “Josiah Allen, be you a calculatin’ to go +there right out in public before men and wimmen, a showin’ your bare +bosom to a crowd? Where is your modesty, Josiah Allen? Where is your +decency?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he firmly, “I keep ’em where all the rest do, who go in full +dress.” +</p> + +<p> +I sot right down in a chair and sez I, “Wall there is one thing certain; +if you go in that condition, you will go alone. Why,” sez I, “to +home, if Tirzah Ann, your own daughter, had ketched you in that perdickerment, +a rubbin’ on linement or anything, you would have jumped and covered +yourself up, quicker’n a flash, and likeways me, before Thomas Jefferson. +And now you lay out to go in that way before young girls, and old ones, and men +and wimmen, and want me to foller on after your example. What in the world are +you a thinkin’ on, Josiah Allen?” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image49.gif" height="300" width="260" alt="Full Dress" /> +</div> + +<p> +“Why I’m a thinkin, on full dress,” sez be in a pert tone, a +kinder turnin’ himself before the glass, where he could get a good view +of his bones. His thin neck wuzn’t much more than bones, anyway, and so I +told him. And I asked him if he could see any beauty in it, and sez I, +“Who wants to look at our old bare necks, Josiah Allen? And if there +wuzn’t any other powerful reeson of modesty and decency in it, +you’d ketch your death cold, Josiah Allen, and be laid up with the +newmoan. You know you would,” sez I, “you are actin’ like a +luny, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“It is you that are actin’ like a luny,” sez he bitterly. +“I never propose anything of a high fashionable kind but what you want to +break it up. Why, dumb it all, you know as well as I do, that men haint called +as modest as wimmen anyway. And if they have the name, why shouldn’t they +have the game? Why shouldn’t they go round half dressed as well as wimmen +do? And they are as strong agin; if there is any danger to health in it they +are better able to stand it. But,” sez he, in the same bitter axents, +“you always try to break up all my efforts at high life and fashion. I +presume you won’t waltz to-night, nor want me to.” +</p> + +<p> +I groaned several times in spite of myself, and sithed, “Waltz!” +sez I in awful axents. “A classleader! and a grandfather! and +talkin’ about waltzin’!” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Josiah, “Men older than me waltz, and foller it up. Put their arms +right round the prettiest girls in the room, hug ’em, and swing ’em +right round”—sez he kinder spoony like. +</p> + +<p> +I said nothin’ at them fearful words, only my groans and sithes became +deeper and more voyalent. And in a minute I see through the fingers with which +I had nearly covered my face, that he wuz a pullin’ down his shirt +sleeves and a puttin’ his jack knife in his pocket. +</p> + +<p> +That man loves me. And love sways him round often times when reesun and sound +argument are powerless. Now, the sound reesun of the case didn’t move +him, such as the indelicacy of makin’ a exhibition of one’s self in +a way that would, if displayed in a heathen, be a call for missionarys to +convert ’em, and that makes men blush when they see it in a Christian +woman. +</p> + +<p> +The sound reason of its bein’ the fruitful cause of disease and death, +through the senseless exposure. +</p> + +<p> +The sound reason of the worse than folly of old and middle-aged folks +thinkin’ that the exhibition is a pretty one when it haint. +</p> + +<p> +The sound reason of its bein’ inconsistent for a woman to allow the +familiarity of a man and a stranger, a walkin’ up and puttin’ his +arm round her, and huggin’ her up to him as clost as he can; that act, +that a woman would resent as a deadly insult and her incensed relatives avenge +with the sword, if it occurred in any other place than the ball-room and at the +sound of the fiddle. The utter inconsistency of her meetin’ it with +smiles, and making frantic efforts to get more such affronts than any other +woman present—her male relatives a lookin’ proudly on. +</p> + +<p> +The inconsistency of a man’s bein’ not only held guiltless but +applauded for doin’ what, if it took place in the street, or church, +would make him outlawed, for where is there a lot of manly men who would look +on calmly, and see a sweet young girl insulted by a man’s ketchin’ +hold of her and embracin’ of her tightly for half an hour,—why, he +would be turned out of his club and outlawed from Christian homes if it took +place in silence, but yet the sound of a fiddle makes it all right. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez to myself mildly, as I sot there, “Is it that men and wimmen +lose their senses, or is there a sacredness in the strains of that fiddle, that +makes immodesty modest, indecency decent, and immorality moral?” And agin +I sithe heavy and gin 3 deep groans. And I see Josiah gin in. All the sound +reasons weighed as nothin’ with him, but 2 or 3 groans, and a few sithes +settled the matter. Truly Love is a mighty conqueror. +</p> + +<p> +And anon Josiah spoke and sez, “Wall, I s’pose I can gin it all up, +if you feel so about it, but we shall act like fools, Samantha, and look like +’em.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I sternly, “Better be fools than naves, Josiah Allen! if we have got +to be one or the other, but we haint. We are a standin’ on firm ground, +Josiah Allen,” sez I. “The platform made of the boards of +consistency, and common sense, and decency, is one that will never break down +and let you through it, into gulfs and abysses. And on that platform we will +both stand to-night, dear Josiah.” +</p> + +<p> +I think it is always best when a pardner has gin in and you have had a triumph +of principle, to be bland; blander than common to him. I always love at such +times to round my words to him with a sweet affectionateness of mean. I love +to, and he loves it. +</p> + +<p> +We sot out in good season for the Garden party. And it wuz indeed a sight to +behold! But I did not at that first minute have a chance to sense it, for Miss +Flamm sent her hired girl out to ask me to come to her room for a few minutes. +Miss Flamm’s house is a undergoin’ repairs for a few weeks, +sunthin’ had gin out in the water works, so she and her hired girl have +been to this tarven for the time bein’. The hired girl got us some good +seats and tellin’ Josiah to keep one on ’em for me, I follered the +girl, or “maid,” as Miss Flamm calls her. But good land! if she is +a old maid, I don’t see where the young ones be. +</p> + +<p> +Miss Flamm had sent for me, so she said, to see if I wanted to ride out the +next day, and what time would be the most convenient to me, and also, to see +how I liked her dress. She didn’t know as she should see me down below, +in the crowd, and she wanted me to see it. (Miss Flamm uses me dretful well, +but I s’pose 2/3ds of it, is on Thomas J’s account. Some folks +think she is goin’ to have another lawsuit, and I am glad enough to have +him convey her lawsuits, for they are good, honerable ones, and she pays him +splendid for carryin’ ’em.) +</p> + +<p> +Wall, she had her skirts all on when I went in, all a foamin’ and a +shinin’, down onto the carpet, in a glitterin’ pile of pink satin +and white lace and posys. Gorgus enough for a princess. +</p> + +<p> +And I didn’t mind it much, bein’ only females present, if she wuz +exposin’ of herself a good deal. I kinder blushed a little as I looked at +her, and kep’ my eyes down on her skirts all I could, and thinkses I to +myself,—“What if G. Washington should come in? I shouldn’t +know which way to look.” But then the very next minute, I says to myself, +“Of course he won’t be in till she gets her waist on. I’m a +borrowin’ trouble for nothin’.” +</p> + +<p> +At last Miss Flamm spoke and says she, as she kinder craned herself before the +glass, a lookin’ at her back (most the hull length on it bare, as I am a +livin’ creeter); and says she, “How do you like my dress?” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image50.gif" height="275" width="425" alt="How do you like my +dress?" /> +</div> + +<p> +“Oh,” says I, wantin’ to make myself agreeable (both on +account of principle, and the lawsuit), “the skirts are beautiful but I +can’t judge how the hull dress looks, you know, till you get your waist +on.” +</p> + +<p> +“My waist?” says she. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” says I. +</p> + +<p> +“I have got it on,” says she. +</p> + +<p> +“Where is it?” says I, a lookin’ at her closer through my +specks, “Where is the waist?” +</p> + +<p> +“Here,” says she, a pintin’ to a pink belt ribbon, and a +string of beads over each shoulder. +</p> + +<p> +Says I, “Miss Flamm, do you call that a waist?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” says she, and she balanced herself on her little pink +tottlin’ slippers. She couldn’t walk in ’em a good honerable +walk to save her life. How could she, with the instep not over two inches +acrost, and the heels right under the middle of her foot, more’n a finger +high? Good land, they wuz enuff to lame a Injun savage, and curb him in. But +she sort o’ balanced herself unto ’em, the best she could, and put +her hands round her waist—it wuzn’t much bigger than a pipe-stem, +and sort o’ bulgin’ out both ways, above and below, some like a +string tied tight round a piller, - and says she complacently, “I +don’t believe there will be a dress shown to-night more stylish and +beautiful than mine.” +</p> + +<p> +Says I, “Do you tell me, Miss Flamm, that you are a goin’ down into +that crowd of promiscus men and women, with nothin’ but them strings on +to cover you?” Says I, “Do you tell me that, and you a perfesser +and a Christian?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” says she, “I paid 300 dollars for this dress, and it +haint likely I am goin’ to miss the chance of showin’ it off to the +other wimmen who will envy me the possession of it. To be sure,” says +she, “it is a little lower than Americans usually wear. But in fashion, +as in anything else, somebody has got to go ahead. This is the very heighth of +fashion,” says she. +</p> + +<p> +Says I in witherin’ and burnin’ skorn, “It is the heighth of +immodesty.” +</p> + +<p> +And I jest turned my back right ont’ her, and sailed out of the room. I +wuzn’t a a goin’ to stand that, lawsuit or no lawsuit. I wuz all +worked up in my mind, and by the side of myself, and I didn’t get over it +for some time, neither. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I found my companion seated in that comfertable place, and a +keepin’ my chair for me, and so I sot down by him, and truly we sot +still, and see the glory, and the magnificence on every side on us. There wuz 3 +piazzas about as long as from our house to Jonesville, or from Jonesville to +Loontown, all filled with folks magnificently dressed, and a big garden +layin’ between ’em about as big as from our house to Miss +Gowdey’s, and so round crossways to Alminy Hagidone’s +brother’s, and back agin’. It wuz full as fur as that, and you know +well that that is a great distance. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz some big noble trees, all twinklin’ full of lights, of every +coler, and rows of shinin’ lights, criss-crossed every way, or that is, +every beautiful way, from the high ornimental pillers of the immense house, +that loomed up in the distance round us on every side, same as the mountains +loom up round Loontown. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz a big platform built in the middle of the garden, with sweet music +discoursin’ from it the most enchantin’ strains. And the fountains +wuz sprayin’ out the most beautiful colers you ever see in your life, and +fallin’ down in pink, and yellow, and gold, and green, and amber, and +silver water; sparklin’ down onto the green beautiful ferns and flowers +that loved to grow round the big marble basin which shone white, risin’ +out of the green velvet of the grass. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah looked at that water, and sez he, “Samantha, I’d love to get +some of that water to pass round evenin’s when we have company.” +Sez he, “It would look so dressy and fashionable to pass round pink +water, or light blue, or light yeller. How it would make Uncle Nate Gowdey open +his eyes. I believe I shall buy some bottles of it, Samantha, to take home. +What do you say? I don’t suppose it would cost such a dretful sight, do +you?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, “I s’pose all they have to do is to put pumps down into a +pink spring, or a yeller one, as the case may be, and pump. And I would be +willin’ to pump it up myself, if it would come cheaper.” +</p> + +<p> +But my companion soon forgot to follow up the theme in lookin’ about him +onto the magnificent, seen, and a seein’ the throngs of men and wimmen +growin’ more and more denser, and every crowd on ’em that swept by +us, and round us, and before us, a growin’ more gorgus in dress, or so it +seemed to us. Gemms of every gorgus coler under the heavens and some jest the +coler of the heavens when it is blue and shinin’ or when it is purplish +dark in the night time, or when it is full of white fleecy clouds, or when it +is a shinin’ with stars. +</p> + +<p> +Why, one woman had so many diamonds on that she had a detective follerin’ +her all round wherever she went. She wuz a blaze of splendor and so wuz lots of +’em, though like the stars, they differed from each other in glory. +</p> + +<p> +But whatever coler their gowns wuz, in one thing they wuz most all +alike—most all of ’em had waists all drawed in tight, but a +bulgin’ out on each side, more or less as the case might be. Why some of +them waists wuzn’t much bigger than pipe’s tails and so I told +Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +And he whispered back to me, and sez he, “I wonder if them wimmen with +wasp waists, think that we men like the looks on ’em. They make a dumb +mistake if they do. Why,” sez he, “we men know what they be; we +know they are nothin’ but crushed bones and flesh.” Sez he, +“I could make my own waist look jest like ’em, if I should take a +rope and strap myself down.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, in agitated axents, “don’t you try to go +into no such enterprise, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +I remembered the eppisode of the afternoon, and I sez in anxins axents, and +affectionate, “Besides not lookin’ well, it is dangerous, awful +dangerous. And how I should blush,” sez I, “if I wuz to see you +with a leather strap or a rope round your waist under your coat, a +drawin’ you in ; a changin’ your good honerable shape. And God made +men’s and wimmen’s waists jest alike in the first place, and it is +jest as smart for men to deform themselves in that way as it is for wimmen. But +oh, the agony of my soul if I should see you a tryin’ to disfigure +yourself in that way.” +</p> + +<p> +“You needn’t be afraid, Samantha,” sez he, “I am +dressy, and always wuz, but I haint such a fool as that, as to kill myself in +perfect agony, for fashion.” +</p> + +<p> +I didn’t say nothin’ but instinctively I looked down at his feet, +“Oh, you needn’t look at my feet, Samantha, feet are very different +from the heart, and lungs, and such. You can squeeze your feet down, and not +hurt much moren the flesh and bones. But you are a destroyin’ the very +seat of life when you draw your waist in as them wimmen do.” +</p> + +<p> +“I know it,” sez I, “but I wouldn’t torture myself in +any way if I wuz in your place.” +</p> + +<p> +“I don’t lay out to,” sez he. “I haint a goin’ to +wear corsets, it haint at all probable I shall, though I am better able to +stand it, than wimmen be.” +</p> + +<p> +“I know that,” sez I. “I know men are stronger and better +able to bear the strain of bein’ drawed in and tapered.” I am +reesonable, and will ever speak truthful and honest, and this I couldn’t +deny and didn’t try to. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, dumb it, what makes men stronger?” sez he. +</p> + +<p> +“Why,” sez I, “I s’pose one great thing is their +dressin’ comfortable.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, I am glad you know enough to know it,” sez he. +“Why,” sez he, “jest imagine a man tyin’ a rope round +his waist, round and round; or worse yet, take strong steel, and whalebones, +and bind and choke himself down with ’em, and tottlin’ himself up +on high heel slippers, the high heels comin’ right up in the ball of his +foot—and then havin’ heavy skirts a holdin’ him down, tied +back tight round his knees and draggin’ along on the ground at his +feet—imagine me in that perdickerment, Samantha.” +</p> + +<p> +I shuddered, and sez I, “Don’t bring up no such seen to harrow up +my nerve.” Sez I, “You know I couldn’t stand it, to see you a +facin’ life and its solemn responsibilities in that condition. It would +kill me to witness your sufferin’,” sez I. And agin’ I +shuddered, and agin I sithed. +</p> + +<p> +And he sez, “Wall, it is jest as reasonable for a man to do it as for a +woman; it is far worse and more dangerous for a woman than a man.” +</p> + +<p> +“I know it,” sez I, between my sithes. “I know it, but I +can’t, I can’t stand it, to have you go into it.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, you needn’t worry, Samantha, I haint a fool. You won’t +ketch men a goin’ into any such performances as this, they know too +much.” And then he resumed on in a lighter agent, to get my mind still +further off from his danger, for I wuz still a sithin’, frequent and +deep. +</p> + +<p> +Sez he, as he looked down and see some wimmen a passin’ below; sez hey +“I never see such a sight in my life, a man can see more here in one +evenin’ than he can in a life time at Jonesville.” +</p> + +<p> +“That is so, Josiah,” sez I, “you can.” And I felt +every word I said, for at that very minute a lady, or rather a female woman, +passed with a dress on so low in the neck that I instinctively turned away my +head, and when I looked round agin, a deep blush wuz mantlin’ the cheeks +of Josiah Allen, a flushin’ up his face, clear up into his bald head. +</p> + +<p> +I don’t believe I had ever been prouder of Josiah Allen, than I wuz at +that minute. That blush spoke plainer than words could, of the purity and +soundness of my pardner’s morals. If the whole nation had stood up in +front of me at that time, and told me his morals wuz a tottlin’ I would +have scorned the suggestion. No, that blush telegraphed to me right from his +soul, the sweet tidin’s of his modesty and worth. +</p> + +<p> +And I couldn’t refrain from sayin’ in encouragin’, happy +axents, “Haint you glad now, Josiah Allen, that you listened to your +pardner; haint you glad that you haint a goin’ round in a low necked coat +and vest, a callin’ up the blush of skern and outraged modesty to the +cheeks ‘of noble and modest men?” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez he, graspin’ holt of my hand in the warmth of his +gratitude, for he see what I had kep’ him from. “Yes, you wuz in +the right on’t, Samantha. I see the awfulness of the peril from which you +rescued of me. But never,” sez he, a lookin’ down agin over the +railin’, onto some more wimmen a passin’ beneath, “never did +I see what I have seen here to-night. Not,” sez he dreemily, “sense +I wuz a baby.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “don’t try to look, Josiah; turn your +eyes away.” +</p> + +<p> +And I believe he did try to—though such is the fascination of a known +danger in front of you, that it is hard to keep yourself from +contemplatin’ of it. But he tried to. And he tried to not look at the +waltzin’ no more than he could help, and I did too. But in spite of +himself he had to see how clost the young girls wuz held; how warmly the young +men embraced ’em. And as he looked on, agin I see the hot blush of shame +mantillied Josiah’s cheeks, and again he sez to me in almost warm axents, +“I realize what you have rescued me from, Samantha.” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “You couldn’t have looked Elder Minkley in the face, +could you? if you had gone into that shameful diversion.” +</p> + +<p> +“No, I couldn’t, nor into yourn nuther. I couldn’t have +looked nobody in the face, if I had gone on and imposed on any young girl as +they are a doin’, and insulted of her. Why,” sez he, “if it +wuz my Tirzah Ann that them, men wuz a embracin’, and huggin’, and +switchin’ her round, as if they didn’t have no respect for her at +all,—why, if it wuz Tirzah Ann, I would tear ’em ’em from +lim.” +</p> + +<p> +And he looked capable on’t. He looked almost sublime (though small). And +I hurried him away from the seen, for I didn’t know what would ensue and +foller on, if I let him linger there longer. He looked as firm and warlike as +one of our bantam fowls, a male one, when hawks are a hoverin’ over the +females of the flock. And when I say Bantam I say it with no disrespect to +Josiah Allen. Bantams are noble, and warlike fowls, though small boneded. +</p> + +<p> +I got one more glimps of Miss Flamm jest as we left the tarven. She wuz a +standin’ up in the parlor, with a tall man a standin’ up in front +of her a talkin’. He seemed to be biddin’ of her good-bye, for he +had holt of her hand, and be wuz a sayin’ as we went by ’em, sez +he, “I am sorry not to see more of you.” +</p> + +<p> +“Good land!” thinkses I, “what can the man be a +thinkin’ on? the mean, miserable creeter! If there wuz ever a deadly +insult gin to a woman, then wuz the time it wuz gin. Good land! good +land!” +</p> + +<p> +I don’t know whether Miss Flamm resented it, or not, for I hurried Josiah +along. I didn’t want to expose him to no sich sights, good, innocent old +creeter. So I kep’ him up on a pretty good jog till I got him home. +</p> + +<p> +The next mornin’ Ardelia Tutt sent me over a copy of the followin’ +verses, which wuz as follers: +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“LINES WROTE ON A OLD WOMAN; OR,<br/> +STANZAS ON A ACKORDEUN.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh mournful sounds that riseth through the air,<br/> +Not very far, but far enough to hear.<br/> +We fain would say to thee forbear, forbear!<br/> +As we adown the road, our pathway steer.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh! had thy voice not been so low and thin<br/> +It would have been more high, and loud and deep—<br/> +And thine Ackordeun, oh could it, could it win,<br/> +A glorious voice of soul, methinks I’d weep—<br/> +<br/> +“With joy. But now I weep not, nay, nor fain<br/> +Would set me down beneath thy song-tree blest;<br/> +More fain I would relate, it giveth me pain<br/> +To list the strains, and listening lo! I sigh for rest, sweet rest.<br/> +<br/> +“For ah! no nightingale art thou, nor lark,<br/> +Nor thrush, nor any other bird, afar or nigh<br/> +Thy instrument hath not the thunder shock<br/> +That calleth nation’s wildly, wet or dry.<br/> +<br/> +“A lesson thou mightest learn oh! female sweet!<br/> +If thou no voice hast got, soar not in song,<br/> +Much noise the lonely aching ear doth greet,<br/> +That maketh sad, and ’tis a fearful wrong.<br/> +<br/> +“A fearful wrong to pound pianos with a fiendish will<br/> +Misuse them far above their feeble power to bear,<br/> +Ah! could pianos cower down, and lo! be still,<br/> +’Twould calm the savage breast, and smooth the brow of care.” +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap17"></a>Chapter XVII.<br/> +A TRIP TO SCHUYLERVILLE.</h2> + +<p> +It wuz a lovely mornin’ when my companion and me sot out to visit +Schuylerville to see the monument that is stood up there in honor of the Battle +of Saratoga, one of 7 great decisive battles of the world. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the cars rolled on peacefully, though screechin’ occasionally, for, +as the poet says, “It is their nater to,” and rolled us away from +Saratoga. And at first there wuzn’t nothin’ particularly +insperin’ in the looks of the landscape, or ruther woodscape. It wuz +mostly woods and rather hombly woods too, kinder flat lookin’. But pretty +soon the scenery became beautiful and impressive. The rollin’ hills +rolled down and up in great billowy masses of green and pale blue, +accordin’ as they wuz fur or near, and we went by shinin’ water, +and a glowin’ landscape, and pretty houses, and fields of grain and corn, +etc., etc. And anon we reached a place where “Victory Mills” wuz +printed up high, in big letters. When Josiah see this, he sez, “Haint +that neighborly and friendly in Victory to come over here and put up a mill? +That shows, Samantha,” sez he, “that the old hardness of the +Revolution is entirely done away with.” +</p> + +<p> +He wuz jest full of Revolutionary thoughts that mornin’, Josiah Allen +wuz. And so wuz I too, but my strength of mind is such, that I reined ’em +in and didn’t let ’em run away with me. And I told him that it +didn’t mean that. Sez I, “The Widder Albert wouldn’t come +over here and go to millin’, she nor none of her family.” +</p> + +<p> +“But,” sez he, “the name must mean sunthin’. Do you +s’pose it is where folks get the victory over things? If it is, I’d +give a dollar bill to get a grist ground out here, and,” sez he, in a +sort of a coaxin’ tone, “le’s stop and get some victory, +Samantha.” +</p> + +<p> +And I told him, that I guessed when he got a victory over the world, the flesh, +or the—David, he would have to work for it, he wouldn’t get it +ground out for him. But anon, he cast his eyes on sunthin’ else and so +forgot to muse on this any further. It wuz a fair seen. +</p> + +<p> +Anon, a big manufactory, as big as the hull side of Jonesville almost, loomed +up by the side of us. And anon, the fair, the beautiful country spread itself +out before our vision. While fur, fur away the pale blue mountains peeked up +over the green ones, to see if they too could see the monument riz up to our +National Liberty. It belonged to them, jest as much as to the hill it wuz a +standin’ on, it belongs to the hull liberty-lovin’ world. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the cars stopped in a pretty little village, a clean, pleasant little +place as I ever see, or want to see. And Josiah and me wended our way up the +broad roomy street, up to where the monument seemed to sort a beegon to us to +come. And when we got up to it; we see it wuz a sight, a sight to behold. +</p> + +<p> +The curius thing on’t wuz, it kep a growin’ bigger and bigger all +the time we wuz approachin’ it, till, as we stood at its base, it seemed +to tower up into the very skies. +</p> + +<p> +There wuz some flights of stun steps a leadin’ up to some doors in the +side on’t. And we went inside on’t after we had gin a good look at +the outside. But it took us some time to get through gazin’ at the +outside on’t. +</p> + +<p> +Way up over our heads wuz some sort a recesses, some like the recess in my +spare bed-room, only higher and narrower, and kinder nobler lookin’. And +standin’ up in the first one, a lookin’ stiddy through storm and +shine at the North star, stood General Gates, bigger than life considerable, +but none too big; for his deeds and the deeds of all of our old 4 fathers stand +out now and seem a good deal bigger than life. Yes, take ’em in all their +consequences, a sight bigger. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, there he stands, a leanin’ on his sword. He’ll be ready when +the enemy comes, no danger but what he will. +</p> + +<p> +On the east side, is General Schuyler a horsback, ready to dash forward against +the foe, impetuous, ardent, gallant. But oh! the perils and dangers that +obstruct his pathway; thick underbrush and high, tall trees stand up round him +that he seemin’ly can’t get through. +</p> + +<p> +But his gallant soldiers are a helpin’ him onward, they are a +cuttin’ down the trees so’s he can get through ’em and dash +at the enemy. You see as you look on him that he will get through it all. No +envy, nor detraction, nor jealousy, no such low underbrush full of +crawlin’ reptiles, nor no high solid trees, no danger of any sort can +keep him back. His big brave, generous heart is sot on helpin’ his +country, he’ll do it. +</p> + +<p> +On the south side, is the saddest sight that a patriotic American can see. On a +plain slab stun, lookin’ a good deal like a permanent grave-stun, sot up +high there, for Americans to weep over forever, bitter tears of shames, is the +name, “Arnold.” +</p> + +<p> +He wuz a brave soldier; his name ort to be there; it is all right to have it +there and jest where it is, on a gravestun. All through the centuries it will +stand there, a name carved by the hand of cupidity, selfishness, and treachery. +</p> + +<p> +On the west side, General Morgan is standin’ up with his hands over his +eyes; lookin’ away into the sunset. He looked jest like that when he wuz +a lookin’ after prowlin’ red skins and red coats; when the sun wuz +under dark clouds, and the day wuz dark 100 years ago. +</p> + +<p> +But now, all he has to do is to stand up there and look off into the +glowin’ heavens, a watchin’ the golden light of the sun of Liberty +a rollin’ on westward. He holds his hand over his eyes; its rays most +blind him, he is most lost a thinkin’ how fur, how fur them rays are a +spreadin’, and a glowin’,way, way off, Morgan is a lookin’ +onto our future, and it dazzles him. Its rays stretch off into other lands; +they strike dark places; they burn! they glow! they shine! they light up the +world! +</p> + +<p> +Hold up your head, brave old General, and your loyal steadfast eyes. You helped +to strike that light. Its radience half-frights you. It is so heavenly bright, +its rays, may well dazzle you. Brown old soldiers, I love to think of you +always a standin’ up there, lifted high up by a grateful Nation, a +lookin’ off over all the world, a lookin’ off towards the +glowin’ west, toward our glorious future. +</p> + +<p> +On the inside too, it wuz a noble seen. After you rose up the steps and went +inside, you found yourself in a middlin’ big room all surrounded by +figures in what they called Alto Relief, or sunthin’ to that effect. I +don’t know what Alto they meant. I don’t know nobody by that name, +nor I don’t know how they relieved him. But I s’pose Alto when he +wuz there wuz relieved to think that the figures wuz all so noble and +impressive. Mebby he had been afraid they wouldn’t suit him and the +nation. But they did, they must have. He must have been hard to suit, Alto +must, if he wuzn’t relieved, and pleased with these. +</p> + +<p> +On one side wuz George the 3d of England, in his magnificent palace, all +dressed up in velvet and lace, surrounded by his slick drestup nobles, and all +of ’em a sittin’ there soft and warm, in the lap of Luxury, a +makin’ laws to bind the strugglin’ colonies. +</p> + +<p> +And right acrost from that, wuz a picture of them Colonists, cold and hungry, a +havin’ a Rally for Freedom, and a settin’ up a Town meetin! right +amongst the trees, and under-brush that hedged ’em all in and tripped +’em up at every step; and savages a hidin’ behind the trees, and +fears of old England, and dread of a hazerdous unknown future, a hantin’ +and cloudin’ every glimpse of sky that came down on ’em through the +trees. But they looked earnest and good, them old 4 fathers did, and the Town +meetin’ looked determined, and firm principled as ever a Town +meetin’ looked on the face of the earth. +</p> + +<p> +Then there wuz some of the women of the court, fine ladies, all silk, and +ribbons, and embroideries, and paint, and powder, a leanin’ back in their +cushioned arm-chairs, a wantin’ to have the colonies taxed still further +so’s to have more money to buy lace with and artificial flowers. And +right acrost from ’em wuz some of our old 4 mothers, in a rude, log hut, +not strong enough to keep out the cold, or the Injuns. +</p> + +<p> +One wuz a cardin’ wools, one of ’em wuz a spinnin’ ’em, +a tryin’ to make clothes to cover the starved, half-naked old 4 fathers +who wuz a tramplin’ round in the snow with bare feet and shiverin’ +lims. And one of ’em had a gun in her hand. She had smuggled the children +all in behind her and she wuz a lookin’ out for the foe. These wimmen +hadn’t no ribbons on, no, fur from it. +</p> + +<p> +And then there wuz General Schuyler a fellin’ trees to obstruct the march +of the British army. And Miss Schuyler a settin’ fire to a field of wheat +rather than have it help the enemy of her country. Brave old 4 mother, worthy +pardner of a grand man, she wuz a takin’ her life in her hand and a +destroyin’ her own property for the sake of the cause she loved. A emblem +of the way men and women sot fire to their own hopes, their own happiness, and +burnt ’em up on the altar of the land we love. +</p> + +<p> +And there wuz some British wimmen a follerin’ their husbands through the +perils of danger and death, likely old 4 mothers they wuz, and thought jest as +much of their pardners as I do of my Josiah. I could see that plain. And could +see it a shinin’ still plainer in another one of the pictures—Lady +Aukland a goin’ over the Hudson in a little canoe with the waves a +dashin’ up high round her, to get to the sick bed of her companion. The +white flag of truce wuz a wavin’ over her head and in her heart wuz a +shinin’ the clear white light of a woman’s deathless devotion. Oh! +there wuz likely wimmen amongst the British, I haint a doubt of it, and men +too. +</p> + +<p> +And then we clim a long flight of stairs and we see some more pictures, all +round that room. Alto relieved agin, or he must have been relieved, and +happified to see ’em, they wuz so impressive. I myself had from 25 to 30 +emotions a minute while I stood a lookin’ at em—big lofty emotions +too. +</p> + +<p> +There waz Jennie McCrea a bein’ dragged offen her horse, and killed by +savages. A dreadful sight—a woman settin’ out light-hearted toward +happiness and goin’ to meet a fearful doom. Dreadful sight that has come +down through the centuries, and happens over and over agin amongst female +wimmen. But here it wuz fearful impressive for the savages that destroyed her +wuz in livin’ form, they haint always materialized. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, it wuz a awful seen. And jest beyond it, wuz Burgoyne a scoldin’ the +savages for the cruelty of the deed. Curius, haint it? How the acts and deeds +of a man that he sets to goin’, when they have come to full fruition +skare him most to death, horrify him by the sight. I’ll bet Burgoyne felt +bad enough, a lookin’ on her dead body, if it wuz his doin’s in the +first place, in lettin’ loose such ignerance and savagery onto a +strugglin’ people. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, Mr. Burgoyne felt bad and ashamed, I haint a doubt of it. His poet soul +could suffer as well as enjoy—and then I didn’t feel like +sayin’ too much aginst Mr. Burgoyne, havin’ meditated so lately in +the treachery of Arnold, one of our own men doin’ a act that ort to keep +us sort a humble-minded to this day. +</p> + +<p> +And then there wuz the killin’ and buryin’ of Frazier both +impressive. He wuz a gallant officer and a brave man. And then there wuz +General Schuyler (a good creeter) a turnin’ over his command to Gates. +And I methought to myself as I looked on it, that human nater wuz jest about +the same then; it capered jest about as it duz now in public affairs and +offices. Then there wuz the surrender of Burgoyne to Gates. A sight impressive +enough to furnish one with stiddy emotions for weeks and weeks. A +thinkin’ of all he surrendered to him that day, and all that wuz took. +</p> + +<p> +The monument is dretful high. Up, up, up, it soars as if it wuz bound to reach +up into the very heavens, and carry up there these idees of ourn about Free +Rights, and National Liberty. It don’t go clear up, though. I wish it +did. If it had, I should have gone up the high ladder clear to the top. But I +desisted from the enterprise for 2 reasons, one wuz, that it didn’t go, +as I say, clear up, and the other wuz that the stairs wuzn’t finished. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah proposed that he should go up as he clim up our well, with one foot on +each side on’t. He said he wuz tempted to, for he wanted dretfully to +look out of them windows on the top. And he said it would probable be expected +of him. And I told him that I guessed that the monument wouldn’t feel +hurt if he didn’t go up; I guessed it would stand it. I discouraged the +enterprise. +</p> + +<p> +And anon we went down out of the monument, and crossed over to the +good-lookin’ house where the man lives who takes care of the monument, +and shows off its good traits, a kind of a guardian to it. And we got a +first-rate dinner there, though such is not their practice. And then he took us +in a likely buggy with 2 seats, and a horse to draw it, and we sot out to see +what the march of 100 years has left us of the doin’s of them days. +</p> + +<p> +Time has trampled out a good many of ’em, but we found some. We found the +old Schuyler mansion, a settin’ back amongst the trees, with the old +knocker on it, that had been pulled by so many a old 4 father, carryin’ +tidin’s of disappointment, and hope, and triumph, and encouragement, and +everything. We went over the threshold wore down by the steps that had fell +there for a hundred years, some light, some heavy steps. +</p> + +<p> +We went into the clean, good-lookin’ old kitchen, with the platters, and +shinin’ dressers and trays; the old-fashioned settee, half-table and +half-seat. And we see the cup General Washington drinked tea out of, good old +creeter. I hope the water biled and it wuz good tea, and most probable it wuz. +And we see lots of arms that had been carried in the war, and cannon balls, and +shells, and tommy-hawks, and hatchets, and arrows, and etc., etc. And down in +one room all full of other curiosities and relicts, wuz the skull of a <i>traitor</i>. +I should judge from the looks on’t that besides bein’ mean, he wuz +a hombly man. Somebody said folks had made efforts to steal it. But Josiah +whispered to me, that there wuzn’t no danger from him, for he would +rather be shet right up in the Tombs than to own it, in any way. +</p> + +<p> +And I felt some like him. Some of his teeth had been stole, so they said. Good +land! what did they want with his teeth! But it wuz a dretful interestin’ +spot. And I thought as I went through the big square, roomy rooms that I +wouldn’t swap this good old house for dozens of Queen Anns, or any other +of the fashionable, furbelowed houses of to-day. The orniments of this house +wuz more on the inside, and I couldn’t help thinkin’ that this +house, compared with the modern ornimental cottages, wuz a good deal like one +of our good old-fashioned foremothers in her plain gown, compared with some of +the grandma’s of to-day, all paint, and furbelows, and false hair. +</p> + +<p> +The old 4 mothers orniments wuz on the inside, and the others wuz more up on +the roof, scalloped off and gingerbreaded, and criss-crossed. +</p> + +<p> +The old house wuz full of rooms fixed off beautiful. It wuz quite a treat to +walk throngh’em. But the old fireplaces, and mantle tray shelves spoke to +our hearts of the generations that had poked them fires, and leaned up against +them mantle trays. They went ahead on us through the old rooms; I +couldn’t see ’em, but I felt their presence, as I follered +’em over the old thresholts their feet had worn down a hundred years ago. +Their feet didn’t make no sound, their petticoats and short gowns +didn’t rustle against the old door ways and stair cases. +</p> + +<p> +The dear old grandpas in their embroidered coats, didn’t cast no shadow +as they crossed the sunshine that came in through the old-fashioned window +panes. No, but with my mind’s eye (the best eye I have got, and one that +don’t wear specks) I see ’em, and I follerd ’em down the +narrow, steep stair case, and out into the broad light of 4 P. M., 1886. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image51.gif" height="280" width="499" alt="Ghosts of the Past" /> +</div> + +<p> +Anon, or shortly after, we drove up on a corner of the street jest above where +the Fish creek empties into the Hudson, and there, right on a tall high brick +block, wuz a tablet, showin’ that a tree once stood jest there, under +which Burgoyne surrendered. And agin, when I thought of all that he surrendered +that day, and all that America and the world gained, my emotions riz up so +powerful, that they wuzn’t quelled down a mite, by seein’ right on +the other side of the house wrote down these words, “Drugs, Oils, +etc.” +</p> + +<p> +No, oil couldn’t smooth ’em down, nor drugs drug ’em; they +wuz too powerful. And they lasted jest as soarin’ and eloquent as ever +till we turned down a cross street, and arrove at the place, jest the identical +spot where the British stacked their arms (and stacked all their pride, and +their ambitious hopes with ’em). It made a high pile. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, from there we went up to a house on a hill, where poor Baroness Riedesel +hid with her three little children, amongst the wounded and dyin’ +officers of the British army, and stayed there three days and three nights, +while shots and shells wuz a bombardin’ the little house—and not +knowin’ but some of the shots had gone through her lover husband’s +heart, before they struck the low ruff over her head. +</p> + +<p> +What do you s’pose she wuz a thinkin’ on as she lay hid in that +suller all them three days and three nights with her little girls’ heads +in her lap? Jest the same thoughts that a mother thinks to-day, as she cowers +down with the children she loves, to hide from danger; jest the same thoughts +that a wife thinks today when her heart is out a facing danger and death, with +the man she loves. +</p> + +<p> +She faced danger, and died a hundred deaths in the thought of the danger to +them she loved. I see the very splinters that the cruel shells and cannon balls +split and tore right over her head. Good honorable splinters and not skairful +to look at today, but hard, and piercin’, and harrowin’ through +them days and nights. +</p> + +<p> +Time has trampled over that calash she rode round so much in (I wish I could a +seen it); but Time has ground it down into dust. Time’s hand, quiet but +heavy, rested down on the shinin’ heads of the three little girls, and +their Pa and Ma, and pushed ’em gently but firmly down out of sight; and +all of them savages who used to follow that calash as it rolled onwards, and +all their canoes, and war hoops, and snowshoes, etc., etc. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, that calash of Miss Riedesel has rolled away, rolled away years ago, +carryin’ the three little girls, their Pa and Ma and all the fears, and +hopes, and dreads, and joys, and heartaches of that time it has rolled on with +’em all; on, on, down the dusty road of Oblivion,—it has +disappeared there round the turn of road, and a cloud of dust comes up into our +faces, as we try to follow it. And the Injuns that used to howl round it, have +all follered on the trail of that calash, and gone on, on, out of sight. Their +canoes have drifted away down the blue Hudson, away off into the mist and the +shadows. Curius, haint it? +</p> + +<p> +And there the same hills and valleys lay, calm and placid, there is the same +blue sparklin’ Hudson. Dretful curius, and sort a heart breakin’ to +think on’t—haint it? Only jest a few more years and we, too, shall +go round the turn of the road, out of sight, out of sight, and a cloud of dust +will come up and hide us from the faces of them that love us, and them, too, +from the eyes of a newer people. +</p> + +<p> +All our hopes, all our ambitious, all our loves, our joys, our +sorrows,—all, all will be rolled away or floated away down the river, and +the ripples will ripple on jest as happy; the Sunshine will kiss the hills jest +as warmly, and lovin’ly; but other eyes will look on ’em, other +hearts will throb and burn within ’em at the sight. +</p> + +<p> +Kinder sad to think on, haint it? +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image52.gif" height="180" width="239" alt="The Butgoynes" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap18"></a>Chapter XVIII.<br/> +THE SOCIAL SCIENCE MEETING.</h2> + +<p> +One day Josiah and me went into a meetin’ where they wuz kinder +fixin’ over the world, sort a repairin’ of it, as you may say. Some +of the deepest, smartest speeches I ever hearn in my life, I hearn there. +</p> + +<p> +You know it is a middlin’ deep subject. But they rose to it. They rose +nobly to it. Some wuz for repairin’ it one way, and some +another—some wanted to kinder tinker it up, and make it over like. Some +wanted to tear it to pieces, and build it over new. But they all meant well by +the world, and nobody could help respectin’ ’em. +</p> + +<p> +I enjoyed them hours there with ’em, jest about as well as it is in my +power to enjoy anything. They wuz all on ’em civilized Christian folks +and philanthropists of different shades and degrees, all but one. There wuz one +heathen there. A Hindoo right from Hindoostan, and I felt kinder sorry for him. +A heathen sot right in the midst of them folks of refinement, and culture, who +had spent their hull lives a tryin’ to fix over the world, and make it +good. +</p> + +<p> +This poor little heathen, with a white piller case, or sunthin’ wound +round his head (I s’pose he hadn’t money to buy a hat), and his +small black eyes lookin’ out kinder side ways from his dark hombly little +face, rousted up my pity, and my sympathy. There had been quite a firm speech +made against allowin’ foreigners on our shores. And this little heathen, +in his broken speech, said, It all seemed so funny to him, when everybody wuz +foreigners in this country, to think that them that got here first should say +they owned it, and send everybody else back. And he said, It seemed funny to +him, that the missionarys we sent over to his land to teach them the truth, +told them all about this land of Liberty, where everybody wuz free, and +everybody could earn a home for themselves, and urged ’em all to come +over here, and then when they broke away from all that held ’em in their +own land, and came thousands and thousands of milds, to get to this land of +freedom and religion,then they wuz sent back agin, and wuzn’t allowed to +land. It seemed so funny. +</p> + +<p> +And so it did to me. And I said to myself, I wonder if they don’t lose +all faith in the missionarys, and what they tell them. I wonder if they +don’t have doubts about the other free country they tell ’em about. +The other home they have urged ’em to prepare for, and go to. I wonder if +they haint afraid, that when they have left their own country and sailed away +for that home of Everlastin’ freedom, they will be sent back agin, and +not allowed to land. +</p> + +<p> +But it comferted me quite a good deal to meditate on’t, that that land +didn’t have no laws aginst foreign emigration. That its ruler wuz one who +held the rights of the lowest, and poorest, and most ignerent of His children, +of jest as much account as he did the rights of a king. Thinkses I that poor +little head with the piller case on it will be jest as much looked up to, as if +it wuz white and had a crown on it. And I felt real glad to think it wuz so. +</p> + +<p> +But I went to every meetin’ of ’em, and enjoyed every one of +’em with a deep enjoyment. And I said then, and I say now, for folks that +had took such a hefty job as they had, they done well, nobody could do better, +and if the world wuzn’t improved by their talk it wuz the fault of the +world, and not their’n. +</p> + +<p> +And we went to meetin’ on Sunday mornin’ and night, and hearn good +sermons. There’s several high big churches at Saratoga, of every +denomination, and likely folks belong to the hull on ’em: There is no +danger of folks losin’ their way to Heaven unless they want to, and they +can go on their own favorite paths too, be they blue Presbyterian paths, or +Methodist pasters, or by the Baptist boat, or the Episcopalian high way, or the +Catholic covered way, or the Unitarian Broadway, or the Shadow road of +Spiritualism. +</p> + +<p> +No danger of their losin’ their way unless they want to. And I thought to +myself as I looked pensively at the different steeples, “What though +there might be a good deal of’wranglin’, and screechin’, and +puffin’ off steam, at the different stations, as there must always be +where so many different routes are a layin’ side by side, each with its +own different runners, and conductors, and porters, and managers, and blowers, +still it must be, that the separate high ways would all end at last in a +serener road, where the true wayfarers and the earnest pilgrims would all walk +side by side, and forget the very name of the station they sot out from. +</p> + +<p> +I sez as much to my companion, as we wended our way home from one of the +meetin’s, and he sez, “There haint but one right way, and it is a +pity folks can’t see it.” Sez he a sithin’ deep, “Why +can’t everybody be Methodists?” +</p> + +<p> +We wuz a goin’ by the ’Piscopal church then, and he sez a +lookin’ at it, as if he wuz sorry for it, “What a pity that such +likely folks as they be, should believe in such eronious doctrines. Why,” +sez he, “I have hearn that they believe that the bread at communion is +changed into sunthin’ else. What a pity that they should believe anything +so strange as that is, when there is a good, plain, practical, Christian belief +that they might believe in, when they might be Methodists. And the Baptists +now,” sez he, a glancin’ back at their steeple, “why +can’t they believe that a drop is as good as a fountain? Why do they want +to believe in so <i>much</i> water? There haint no need on’t. They might be +Methodists jest as well as not, and be somebody.” +</p> + +<p> +And he walked along pensively and in deep thought, and I a feelin’ +somewhat tuckered didn’t argue with him, and silence rained about us till +we got in front of the hall where the Spiritualists hold their meetin’s, +and we met a few a comin’ out on it and then he broke out and acted mad, +awful mad and skernful, and sez he angrily, “Them dumb fools believe in +supernatural things. They don’t have a shadow of reason or common sense +to stand on. A man is a fool to gin the least attention to them, or their +doin’s. Why can’t they believe sunthin’ sensible? Why +can’t they jine a church that don’t have anything curius in it? +Nothin’ but plain, common sense facts in it: Why can’t they be +Methodists?” +</p> + +<p> +“The idee!” sez he, a breakin’ out fresh. “The idee of +believin’ that folks that have gone to the other world can come back agin +and appear. Shaw!” sez he, dretful loud and bold. I don’t believe I +ever heard a louder shaw in my life than that wuz, or more kinder haughty and +highheaded. +</p> + +<p> +And then I spoke up, and sez, “Josiah, it is always well, to shaw in the +right place, and I am afraid you haint studied on it as much as you ort. I am +afraid you haint a shawin’ where you ort to.” +</p> + +<p> +“Where should I shaw?” sez he, kinder snappish. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “when you condemn other folkses beliefs, you +ort to be careful that you haint a condemin’ your own belief at the same +time. Now my belief is grounded in the Methodist meetin’ house like a +rock; my faith has cast its ancher there inside of her beliefs and can’t +be washed round by any waves of opposin’ doctrines. But I am one who +can’t now, nor never could, abide bigotry and intolerance either in a +Pope, or a Josiah Allen. +</p> + +<p> +“And when you condemn a belief simply on the ground of its bein’ +miraculous and beyond your comprehension, Josiah Allen, you had better pause +and consider on what the Methodist faith is founded. +</p> + +<p> +“All our orthodox meetin’ houses, Presbyterian, Baptist, Methodist, +Episcopalian, every one on ’em, Josiah Allen, are sot down on a belief, a +deathless faith in a miraculous birth, a life of supernatural events, the +resurrection of the dead, His appearance after death, a belief in the graves +openin’ and the dead comin’ forth, a belief in three persons +inhabitin’ one soul, the constant presence and control of spiritual +influences, the Holy Ghost, and the spirits of just men. And while you are a +leanin’ up against that belief, Josiah Allen, and a leanin’ heavy, +don’t shaw at any other belief for the qualities you hold sacred in your +own.” +</p> + +<p> +He quailed a very little, and I went on. +</p> + +<p> +“If you want to shaw at it, shaw for sunthin’ else in it, or else +let it entirely alone. If you think it lacks active Christian force, if you +think it is not aggressive in its assaults at Sin, if you think it lacks faith +in the Divine Head of the church, say so, do; but for mercy’s sake <i>try</i> to +shaw in the right place.” +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez he, “they are a low set that follers it up +mostly, and you know it.” And his head was right up in the air, and he +looked <i>very</i> skernful. +</p> + +<p> +But I sez, “Josiah Allen, you are a shawin’ agin in the wrong +place,” sez I. “If what you say is true, remember that 1800 years +ago, the same cry wuz riz up by Pharisees, ‘He eats with Publicans and +sinners.’ They would not have a king who came in the guise of the poor, +they scerned a spiritual truth that did not sparkle with worldly lustre. +</p> + +<p> +“But it shone on; it lights the souls of humanity to-day. Let us not be +afraid, Josiah Allen. Truth is a jewel that <i>cannot</i> be harmed by deepest +investigation, by roughest handlin’. It can’t be buried, it will +shine out of the deepest darkness. What is false will be washed away, what is +true will remain. For all this frettin’, and chafing, all this turbelence +of conflectin’ beliefs, opposin’ wills, will only polish this +jewel. Truth, calm and serene, will endure, will shine, will light up the +world.” +</p> + +<p> +He begun to look considerable softer in mean, and I continued on: “Josiah +Allen, you and I know what we believe the beautiful religion (Methodist +Episcopal) that we both love, makes a light in our two souls. But don’t +let us stand in that light and yell out, that everybody else’s light is +darkness; that our light is the only one. No, the heavens are over all the +earth; the twelve gates of heaven are open and a shinin’ down on all +sides of us. +</p> + +<p> +“Jonesville meetin’ house (Methodist Episcopal) haint the only +medium through which the light streams. It is dear to us, Josiah Allen, but let +us not think that we must coller everybody and drag ’em into it. And let +us not cry out too much at other folkses superstitions, when the rock of our +own faith, that comforts us in joy and sorrow, is sot in a sea of +supernaturalism. +</p> + +<p> +“You know how that faith comforts our two souls, how it is to us, like +the shadow of a great rock in a weary land, but they say, their belief is the +same to them, let us not judge them too hardly. No, the twelve gates of heaven +are open, Josiah Allen, and a shinin’ down onto the earth. We know the +light that has streamed into our own souls, but we do not know exactly what +rays of radience may have been reflected down into some other lives through +some one of those many gates. +</p> + +<p> +“The plate below has to be prepared, before it can ketch the picture and +hold it. The light does not strike back the same reflection from every earthly +thing. The serene lake mirrors back the light, in a calm flood of glory, the +flashin’ waterfall breaks it into a thousand dazzlin’ sparkles. The +dewy petal of the yellow field lily, reflects its own ray of golden light back, +so does the dark cone of the pine tree, and the diamond, the opal, the ruby, +each tinges the light with its own coloring, but the light is all from above. +And they all reflect the light, in their own way for which the Divine skill has +prepared them. +</p> + +<p> +“Let us not try to compel the deep blue Ocean waves and the shinin’ +waterfall, and the lily blow, to reflect back the light, in the same identical +manner. No, let the light stream down into high places, and low ones, let the +truth shine into dark hearts, and into pure souls. God is light. God is Love. +It is His light that shines down out of the twelve gates, and though the ruby, +or the amethyst, may color it by their own medium, the light that is reflected, +back is the light of Heaven. And Josiah Allen,” sez I in a deeper, +earnester tone, “let us who know so little ourselves, be patient with +other ignerent ones. Let us not be too intolerent, for no intolerence, Josiah +Allen is so cruel as that of ignerence, an’ stupidity.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Josiah, “I won’t believe in anything I can’t <i>see</i>, +Samantha Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +I jest looked round at him witheringly, and sez I, “What <i>have</i> you ever +seen, Josiah Allen, I mean that is worth sein’? Haint everything that is +worth havin’ in life, amongst the unseen? The deathless loves, the +aspirations, the deep hopes, and faiths, that live in us and through us, and +animate us and keep us alive,—Whose spectacles has ever seen ’em? +What are we, all of us human creeters, any way, but little atoms dropped here, +Heaven knows why, or how, into the midst of a perfect sea of mystery, and +unseen influences. What hand shoved us forwards out of the shadows, and what +hand will reach out to us from the shadows and draw us back agin? Have you seen +it Josiah Allen? You have felt this great onseen force a movin’ you +along, but you haint sot your eyes on it. +</p> + +<p> +“What is there above us, below us, about us, but a waste of mystery, a +power of onseen influences?. +</p> + +<p> +“You won’t believe anything you can’t see:—Did you ever +see old Gravity, Josiah Allen, or get acquainted with him? Yet his hands hold +the worlds together. Who ever see the mysterious sunthin’ in the North +that draws the ship’s compass round? Who ever see that great mysterious +hand that is dropped down in the water, sweepin’ it back and forth, +makin’ the tides come in, and the tides go out? Who ever has ketched a +glimpse of them majestic fingers, Josiah Allen? Or the lips touched with +lightnin’, whose whispers reach round the world, and through the Ocean? +You haint see ’em, nor I haint, No, Josiah Allen, we don’t know +much of anything, and we don’t know that for certain. We are all on us +only poor pupils down in the Earth’s school-room, learnin’ with +difficulty and heart ache the lessons God sets for us. +</p> + +<p> +Tough old Experience gives us many a hard floggin’, before we learn the +day’s lessons. And we find the benches hard, long before sundown. And it +makes our hearts ache to see the mates we love droop their too tired heads in +sleep, all round us before school is out. But we grind on at our lessons, as +best we may. Learnin’ a little maybe. Havin’ to onlearn a sight, as +the pinters move on towards four. Clasping hands with fellow toilers and (hard +task) onclaspin’ ’em, as they go up above us, or down nearer the +foot. Havin’ little ‘intermissions’ of enjoyment, soon over. +But we plod on, on, and bimeby—and sometimes we think we do not care how +soon—the teacher will say to us, that we can be ‘dismissed.’ +And then we shall drop out of the rank of learners, and the school will go +without us, jest as busily, jest as cheerfully, jest as laboriously, jest as +sadly. Poor learners at the hard lessons of life. Learnin’ out of a book +that is held out to us from the shadows by an onseen, inexorable hand. +Settin’ on hard benches that may fall out from under us at any time. Poor +ignerent creeters that we are, would it not be a too arrant folly for us to +judge each other hardly, we, all on us, so deplorably ignerent, so weakly +helpless?” +</p> + +<p> +Sez Josiah, in earnest axcents, “Le’s walk a little faster.” +</p> + +<p> +And, in lookin’ up, I see that he wuz readin’ a advertisement. I +ketched sight of a picture ornamentin’ of it. It wuz Lydia Pinkham. And +as I see that benine face, I found and recovered myself. Truly, I had been a +soarin’ up, up, fur above Saratoga, Patent Medicines, Josiah Allen, etc., +etc. +</p> + +<p> +But when I found myself by the side of Josiah Allen once more, I moved onwards +in silence, and soon we found ourselves right by the haven where I desired to +be,—our own tried and true boardin’ house. +</p> + +<p> +Truly eloquence is tuckerin’, very, especially when you are a +soarin’ and a walkin’ at the same time. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image53.gif" height="181" width="154" alt="Josiah" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap19"></a>Chapter XIX.<br/> +ST. CHRISTINA’S HOME.</h2> + +<p> +Wall, it wuz that very afternoon, almost immegetly after dinner, that Josiah +Allen invited me warmly to go with him to the Roller Coaster. And I compromised +the matter by his goin’ with us first to St. Christina’s Home, and +then, I told him, I would proceed with him to the place where he would be. They +wuz both on one road, nigh to each other, and he consented after some words. +</p> + +<p> +I felt dretfully interested in this Home, for it is a place where poor little +sick children are took to, out of their miserable, stiflin’, dirty +garrets, and cellars, and kep’ and made well and happy in their pleasant, +home-like surroundin’s. And I thought to myself, as I looked ont on the +big grounds surroundin’ it, and walked through the clean wide rooms, that +the change to these children, brought out of their narrow dark homes of want +and woe, into this great sunshiny Home with its clean fresh rooms, its good +food, its cheery Christian atmosphere, its broad sunshiny playgrounds, must +seem like enterin’ Paradise to ’em. +</p> + +<p> +And I thought to myself how thankful I wuz that this pleasant House Beautiful, +wuz prepared for the rest and refreshment of the poor little pilgrims, worn out +so early in the march of life. And I further thinkses I, “Heaven bless +the kind heart that first thought on’t, and carried out the heavenly +idee.” +</p> + +<p> +The children’s faces all looked, so happy, and bright, it wuz a treat to +see ’em. And the face of the sister who showed us round the rooms looked +as calm, and peaceful, and happy, as if her face wuz the sun from which their +little lights wuz reflected. +</p> + +<p> +Up amongst the rooms overhead, every one on ’em clean as a pin and sweet +and orderly, wuz one room that specially attracted my attention. It wuz a small +chapel where the little ones wuz took to learn their prayers and say ’em. +It wuzn’t a big, barren barn of a room, such as I have often seen in +similar places, and which I have always thought must impress the children with +a awful sense of the immensity and lonesomeness of space, and the +intangebility, and distance of the Great Spirit who inhabiteth Eternity. No, it +wuz small, and cozy, and cheerful, like a home. And the stained glass window +held a beautiful picture of love and charity, which might well touch the +children’s hearts, sweetly and unconsciously, with the divine worth of +love, and beauty, and goodness. +</p> + +<p> +And I could fancy the dear, little ones kneelin’ here, and prayin’ +“Our Father, who art in Heaven,” and feelin’ that He wuz +indeed their Father, and not a stranger, and that Heaven wuz not fur off from +’em. +</p> + +<p> +And I thought to myself “Never! never! through all their life will they +get entirely away from the pure, sweet lessons they learn here.” +</p> + +<p> +I enjoyed the hour I spent here with a deep, heart enjoyment, and so did +Josiah. Or, that is, I guess he did, though he whispered to me from time to +time, or even oftener, as we went through the buildin’, that we wuz a +devourin’ time that we might be spendin’ at the Roller Coaster. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, at last, greatly to my pardner’s satisfaction, we sot out for the +place where he fain would be. On our way there we roamed through another Indian +Encampment, a smaller one than that where we had the fearful incident of the +Mermaid and Sarah. +</p> + +<p> +No, it wuzn’t so big, but it had many innocent diversions and a +photograph gallery, and other things for its comfert. And a standin’ up a +leanin’ aginst a tree, by one of the little houses stood a Injun. He wuz +one of the last left of his tribe. He seemed to be a lookin’ pensively +on—and seein’ how the land that had belonged to ’em, the +happy huntin’-grounds, the springs they believed the Great Spirit had gin +to ’em, had all passed away into the bands of another race. +</p> + +<p> +I wuz sorry for that Injun, real sorry. And thinkses I to myself, we feel +considerable pert now, and lively, but who knows in another three or four +hundred years, but what one of the last of our race, may be a leanin’ up +aginst some new tree, right in the same spot, a watchin’ the old places +passed away into other hands, mebby black hands, or some other colored ones; +mebby yellow ones, who knows? I don’t, nor Josiah don’t. But my +pardner wuz a hurryin’ me on, so I dropped my revery and my umberell in +my haste to foller on after his footsteps. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah picked up my umberell, but he couldn’t pick up my soarin’ +emotions for me. No, he haint never been able, to get holt of ’em. But +suffice it to say, that soon, preceded by my companion, I found myself a +mountin’ the nearly precipitus stairs, that led to the Roller Coaster. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image54.gif" height="300" width="465" alt="The Rollercoaster" /> +</div> + +<p> +And havin’ reached the spot, who should we find there but Ardelia Tutt +and Bial Flamburg. They had been on the Roller Coaster seven times in +succession, and the car. And they wuz now a sittin’ down to recooperate +their energies, and collect their scattered wits together. The Roller Coaster +is <i>very</i> scatterin’ to wits that are not collected firm and sound, and +cemented by strong common sense. +</p> + +<p> +The reason why the Roller Coaster don’t scatter such folkses wits is +supposed to be because, they don’t go on to it. Ardelia looked as if her +idees wuz scattered to the four pints of the compass. As for Bial, it seemed to +me, as if he never had none to scatter. But he spoke out to once, and said, he +didn’t care to ride on ’em. (Bial Flamburg’s strong pint, is +his truthfulness, I can’t deny that.) +</p> + +<p> +Ardelia wouldn’t own up but what she enjoyed it dretfully. You know folks +are most always so. If they partake of a pleasure and recreation that is +doubtful in its effects, they will always say, what a high extreme of enjoyment +they enjoyed a partakin’ of it. Curius, haint it? Wall, Josiah had been +anticipatin’ so much enjoyment from the exercise, that I didn’t +make no move to prevent him from embarkin’ on it—though it looked +hazardous and dangerous in the extreme. +</p> + +<p> +I looked down on the long valleys, and precipitous heights of the assents and +desents, in which my pardner wuz so soon to be assentin’ and +desentin’ and I trembled, and wuz jest about to urge him to forego his +diversion, for the sake of his pardner’s happiness, but as I turned to +expostulate with him, I see the beautiful, joyous, hopeful look on his +liniment, and the words fell almost dead on my tongue. I felt that I had ruther +suffer in silence than to say one word to mar that bliss. +</p> + +<p> +Such is the love of pardners, and such is some of the agonies they suffer +silently to save from woundin’ the more opposite one. No, I said not a +word; but silently sat, and see him makin’ his preparations to embark. He +see the expression onto my face, and he too wuz touched by it. He never said +one word to me about embarkin’ too, which I laid to two reasons. One wuz +my immovable determination not to embark on the voyage, which I had confided to +him before. +</p> + +<p> +And the other wuz, the added expenses of the journey if he took his companion +with him. +</p> + +<p> +No, I felt that he thought it wuz better we should part temporarily than that +the expenditure should be doubled. But as the time drew near for him to leave +me, I see by his meen that he felt bad about leavin’ me. He realized what +a companion I had been to him. He realized the safety and repose he had always +found at my side and the unknown dangers he wuz a rushin’ into. +</p> + +<p> +And he got up and silently shook hands with me. He would have kissed me, I make +no doubt, if folks hadn’t been a standin’ by. He then embarked, and +with lightnin’ speed wuz bore away from me, as he dissapeared down the +desent, his few gray hairs waved back, and as he went over the last precipitus +hill, I heard him cry out in agonizin’ axents, “Samantha! +Samantha!” +</p> + +<p> +And I rushed forwards to his rescue but so lightnin’ quick wuz their +movements that I met my companion a comin’ back, and I sez, the first +thing, “I heard your cry, Josiah! I rushed to save you, my dear +pardner.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez he, “I spoke out to you, to call your attention to +the landscape, over the woods there!” +</p> + +<p> +I looked at him in a curious, still sort of a way, and didn’t say +nothin’ only just that look. Why, that man looked all trembly and broke +up, but he kep’ on. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, it wuz beautiful and inspirin’, and I knew you wuz such a +case for landscapes, I thought I would call your attention to it.” +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, coldly, “You wuz skairt, Josiah Allen, and you know it.” +</p> + +<p> +“Skairt! the idee of me bein’ skairt. I wuz callin’ your +attention to the beauty of the view, over in the woods.” +</p> + +<p> +“What wuz it?” sez I, still more coldly; for I can’t bear +deceit, and coverin’ up. +</p> + +<p> +“Oh, it wuz a house, and a tree, and a barn, and things.” +</p> + +<p> +“A great seen to scream about,” sez I. “It would probable +have stood there till you got back, but you couldn’t seem to wait.” +</p> + +<p> +“No, I have noticed that you always wanted to see things to once. I have +noticed it in you.” +</p> + +<p> +“I could most probable have waited till you got back, to see a house and +a tree.” And in still more—frigid axents, I added, “Or a +barn.” And I sez, kinder sarkastikly, “You enjoyed your ride, I +s’pose.” +</p> + +<p> +“Immensely, it wuz perfectly beautiful! So sort a free and soarin’ +like. It is jest what suits a man.” +</p> + +<p> +“You’d better go right over it agin,” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez the man who runs the cars. “You’d better go +agin.” +</p> + +<p> +“Oh no,” sez Josiah. +</p> + +<p> +“Why not?” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Why not?” sez the man. +</p> + +<p> +Josiah Allen looked all around the room, and down on the grass, as if trying to +find a good reasonable excuse a layin’ round loose somewhere, so’s +he could get holt of it. +</p> + +<p> +“You’d better go,” sez I, “I love to see you happy, +Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +“Yes, you’d better go,” sez the man. +</p> + +<p> +“No!” sez Josiah, still a lookin’ round for a excuse, up into +the heavens and onto the horizon. And at last his face kinder brightenin’ +up, as if he had found one: “No, it looks so kinder cloudy, I guess I +won’t go. I think we shall have rain between now and night.” And so +we said no more on the subject and sot out homewards. +</p> + +<p> +Ardelia wrote a poem on the occasion, wrote it right there, with rapidity and a +lead pencil, and handed it to me, before I left the room. I put it into my +pocket and didn’t think on it, for some days afterwards. +</p> + +<p> +That night after we got home from the Roller Coaster, I felt dretful sort a +down hearted about Abram Gee, I see in that little incident of the day, that +Bial, although I couldn’t like him, yet I see he had his good qualities, +I see how truthful he wuz. And although I love truth—I fairly worship +it—yet I felt that if things wuz as he said they wuz, he would +more’n probable get Ardelia Tutt, for I know the power of Ambition in +her, and I felt that she would risk the chances of happiness, for the name of +bein’ a Banker’s Bride. +</p> + +<p> +So I sat there in deep gloom, and a chocolate colored wrapper, till as late as +half past nine o’clock P. M. And I felt that the course of Abram’s +love wuz not runnin’ smooth. No, I felt that it wuz runnin’ in a +dwindlin’ torrent over a rocky bed, and a precipitus one. And I felt that +if he wuz with me then and there, if we didn’t mingle our tears together +we could our sithes, for I sithed, powerful and frequent. +</p> + +<p> +Poor short-sighted creeter that I wuz, a settin’ in the shadow, when the +sun wuz jest a gettin’ ready to shine out onto Abram and reflect off onto +my envious heart. Even at that very time the hand of righteous Retribution had +slipped its sure noose over Bial Flamburg’s neck, and wuz a walkin’ +him away from Ardelia, away from happiness (oritory). +</p> + +<p> +At that very hour, half past nine P. M., Ardelia Tutt and Abram Gee had met +agin, and rosy love and happiness wuz even then a stringin’ roses on the +chain that wuz to bind ’em together forever. +</p> + +<p> +The way on’t wuz: It bein’ early when Ardelia got here, Bial +proposed to take her out for a drive and she consented. He got a livery horse, +and buggy, and they say that the livery man knew jest what sort of a creeter +the horse wuz, and knew it wuz liable to break the buggy all to pieces and them +to, and he let ’em have it for goin.’ But howsumever, whether that +is so or not, when they got about five or six milds from Saratoga the horse +skeert out of the road, and throwed ’em both out. +</p> + +<p> +It wuz a bank of sand that skeert it, a high bank that wuz piled up by a little +hovel that stood by the side of the road. The ground all round the hut wuz too +poor to raise anything else but sand, and had raised sights of that. +</p> + +<p> +A man and woman, dretful shabby lookin’, wuz a standin’ by the door +of the hut, and the man had a shovel in his hand, and had been a loadin’ +sand into a awful big wheelbarrow that wuz a standin’ +by—seemin’ly ready to carry it acrost the fields, to where some man +wuz a mixin’ some motar, to lay the foundations of a barn. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, the old man stood a pantin’ by the side of the wheelbarrow, as if +he had indeed got on too heavy a load. It wuz piled up high. The horse shied, +and Ardelia wuz throwed right out onto the bank of sand, Bial by the side of +her. And the old man and woman came a runnin’ up, and callin’ out, +“Bial, my son, my son, are you wounded?” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image55.gif" height="285" width="434" alt="The Accident" /> +</div> + +<p> +And there it all wuz. Ardelia see the hull on it. The Banker wuz before her, +and she wuz a layin’ on the bank. And the banker wuz a doin’ a +heavy business, if anybody doubted it, let ’em take holt and cart a load +on it acrost the fields. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, Ardelia wuz jarred fearful, in her heart, her ambition, her pride, and +her bones. And as the horse wuz a fleein’ far away, and no other +conveyance could be found to transport her to the next house (Ardelia +wouldn’t go into his’n), and night wuz approachin’ with rapid +strides, the old Banker jest unloaded the load of sand (good old creeter, he +would have to load it all over agin), and took Ardelia into the wheelbarrow, +and wheeled her over to the next house and unloaded her. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image56.gif" height="277" width="467" alt="Ardelia in the +wheelbarrow" /> +</div> + +<p> +The old Banker told Ardelia that when his neighbor got home he would take her +back to Saratoga, which he did. He had been to the village for necessaries, but +he turned right round and carried her back to Mr. Pixleyses. And I s’pose +Ardelia paid him, mebby as high as 75 cents. As for Bial, he tramped off into +the house, and she didn’t see him agin, nor didn’t want to. Wall, I +s’pose it wuz durin’ that ride on the wheelbarrow, that +Ardelia’s ambition quelled to softer emotions. I s’pose so. She +never owned it right up to me, but I s’pose so. +</p> + +<p> +Bial Flamburg hadn’t lied a word to her. In all her agony she realized +that. But she had built a high towerin’ structure of ambition on what he +said, and it had tottered. And as is natural in times of danger, the heart +turns instinctively to its true love, she thought of Abram Gee, she wanted him. +And as if in answer to her deep and lovin’ thought, who should come out +to the buggy to help her out at Mr. Pixleyses gate, but Abram Gee? He had come +unexpected, and on the eight o’clock train, and wuz there waitin’ +for her. +</p> + +<p> +If Bial Flamburg had been with her, he wouldn’t have gone a nigh the +buggy, but he see it was a old man, and he rushed out. Ardelia couldn’t +walk a step on her feet (owin’ to bein shaken up, in bones and +feelin’s), and Abram jest took her in his strong lovin’ arms and +carried her into the house, and she sort a clung round his neck, and seemed +tickled enough to see him, +</p> + +<p> +But she wuz dretful shook up and agitated, and it wuzn’t till way along +in the night some time, that she wuz able to write a poem called, “a lay +on a wheelbarrow; or, the fallen one.” +</p> + +<p> +Which I thought when I read it, wuz a good name for it, for truly she had fell, +and truly she had lay on it. Howsumever, Ardelia wrote that jest because it wuz +second nater to write poetry on every identical thing she ever see or did. +</p> + +<p> +She wuz glad enough to get rid of Bial Flamburg, and glad enough to go back to +her old love. Abram wuz too manly and tender to say a word to Ardelia that +night on the subject nearest to his heart. No, he see she needed rest. But the +next day, when they wuz alone together, I s’pose he put the case all +before her. All his warm burnin’ love for her, all his jealousy, and his +wretchedness while she wuz a waverin’ between Banks and Bread, how his +heart had been checked by the thought that Bial would vault over him, and in +the end hold him at a discount. +</p> + +<p> +Why, I s’pose he talked powerful and melted Ardelia’s soft little +heart till it wuz like the softest kind of dough in his hands. And then he went +on tenderly to say, how he needed her, and how she could mould him to her will. +I s’pose he talked well, and eloquent, I s’pose so. Anyhow she +accepted him right there in full faith and a pink and white cambric dress. +</p> + +<p> +And they came over and told me about it in the afternoon P. M. And I felt well +and happy in my mind, and wished ’em joy with a full heart and a +willin’ mind. +</p> + +<p> +They are both good creeters. And she bein’ so soft, and he so kinder +hardy and stout-hearted, I believe they will get along firstrate. And when she +once let her mind and heart free to think on him, she worships him so openly +and unreservedly (though soft), that I don’t, believe there is a happier +man in the hull country. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I lay out to give’em a handsome present when they be married, which +will be in the fall. Mother Gee (who has got as well as can be expected) is +goin’ to live with Susan. And I’m glad on’t. Mother Gee is a +good old female no doubt, but it is resky work to take a new husband to live +with, and when you take a mother-in-law too it adds to the resk. +</p> + +<p> +But she is goin’ to live with Susan; it is her prefference. +</p> + +<p> +And Abram has done so well, that he has bought another five acres onto his +place, and is a goin’ to fix his house all over splendid before the +weddin’ day. And Ardelia is to go right from the altar to her +home—it is her own wishes. +</p> + +<p> +She knows enough in her way, Ardelia duz. And she has a wisdom of the heart +which sometimes I think, goes fur ahead of the wisdom of the head. And then +agin, I think they go well together, wisdom of the head and the heart too. (The +times I think this is after readin’ her poetry.) +</p> + +<p> +But any way she will make Abram a good soft little wife, lovin’ and +affectionate always. And good land! he loves her to that extent that it +wouldn’t make no difference to him if she didn’t know enough to +come in when it rained. He would fetch her in, drippin’ and worship her, +damp or dry. +</p> + +<p> +Them verses of Ardelia’s, that she handed me, by the Roller Coaster wuz +as follows— +</p> + +<p class="poem"> +“A LAY ON A ROLLER COASTER<br/> +“BY ARDELIA TUTT.<br/> +<br/> +“Oh was thy track all straight, and smooth like glass<br/> +Thou couldest not mount the hills, and lo, the dells,<br/> +The hills and dells oh! Roller Coaster pass<br/> +In peace, believing all things well.<br/> +<br/> +“The hills of life go down, and mount elate<br/> +We mount or sink on them, as case may be<br/> +All seated on the wagon seat of life—<br/> +A holdin’ on in peace, or screamin’ fearfulee.<br/> +<br/> +“Hold then thy breath, and go, e’en up or down,<br/> +Hold to the seat, and hold to royal hope,<br/> +Hope for the best, so shalt thou wear a crown,<br/> +A clinging hope to hold, is better than a rope.<br/> +<br/> +“Mount then the Mounts, Oh Roller Coaster mount,<br/> +And sink then in the dells with brow serene;<br/> +’Tis no disgrace to sink a spell, we count<br/> +Him coward, knave, who floats and calls it mean.” +</p> + +<p> +Ardelia always will stand up for Josiah Allen, and I am glad on’t. I +should jest as soon be jealous of one of Josiah’s gingham neckties, one +of the thinnest and stringiest ones, as to be jealous of her. She means well, +Ardelia duz. +</p> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div class="chapter"> + +<h2><a name="chap20"></a>Chapter XX.<br/> +AN ACCIDENT WITH RESULTS.</h2> + +<p> +Wall, it wuz on the very day before we laid out to leave for home. I wuz a +settin’ in my room a mendin’ up a rip in my pardner’s best +coat, previous to packin’ in his trunk, when all of a sudden Miss +Flamm’s hired girl came in a cryin’, and sez I, “What is the +matter?” +</p> + +<p> +And sez she, “Ah! Miss Flamm has sent for you and Mr. Allen to come over +there right away. There has been a axident.” +</p> + +<p> +“A axident!” sez I. +</p> + +<p> +“Yes,” sez she. “The little girl has got hurt, and they +don’t think she will live. Poor little pretty thing,” sez the hired +girl, and busted out a cryin’ agin. +</p> + +<p> +“How did she get hurt?” sez I, as I laid down the coat, and went to +tyin’ on my bunnet mekanically. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall, the nurse had her out with the baby and the little boys. And we +s’pose she had been drinkin’ too much. We all knew she drinked, and +she wuzn’t in a condition to go out with the children this mornin’, +and Miss Flamm would have noticed it and kep’ ’em in, but the dog +wuz sick all night, and Miss Flamm wuz up with it most all night, and she felt +wore out this mornin’ with her anxtety for the dog, and her want of +sleep, and so they went out, and it wuzn’ more’n half an hour +before it took place. She left the baby carriage and the little boys and girl +in a careless place, not knowin’ what she wuz about, and they got run +over. The baby and the little boys wuzn’t hurt much, but they think the +little girl will die. Miss Flamm went right into a caniption fit,” sez +she, “when she wuz brung in.” +</p> + +<p> +“It is a pity she hadn’t went into one before,” sez I very +dryly, dry as a chip almost. My axents wuz fairly dusty they wuz so dry. But my +feelin’s for Miss Flamm moistened up and melted down when I see her, when +we went into the room. It didn’t take us long for they are still to the +tarven, and we met Josiah Allen at the door, so he went with us. +</p> + +<p> +Yes, Miss Flamm felt bad enough, bad enough. She has got a mother’s heart +after all, down under all the strings and girtins, and laces, and dogs, etc., +etc., that have hid it, and surrounded it. Her face wuz jest as white and +deathly as the little girl’s, and that wuz jest the picture of stillness +and death. And I remembered then that I had heard that the little girl wuz her +favorite amongst her children, whenever she had any time to notice ’em. +She wuz a only daughter and a beauty, besides bein’ smart. +</p> + +<p> +The doctor had been there and done what he could, and go gone away. He said +there wuz nothin’ more to do till she came out of that stuper, if she +ever did. +</p> + +<p> +But it looked like death, and there Miss Flamm sot alone with her child, and +her conscience. She wuzn’t a cryin’ but there wuz a look in her +eyes, in her set white face that went beyond tears, fur beyond ’em. She +gripped holt of my hand with her icy cold ones, and sez she, “Pray for +me!” She wuz brung up a Methodist, and knew we wuz the same. My +feelin’s overcame me as I looked in her face and the child’s, both +lookin’ like dyin’ faces, and I sez with the tears a jest +runnin’ down my cleeks and a layin’ my hand tender on her shoulder, +“Is there anything I can do for you, you poor little creeter?” +</p> + +<p> +“Pray for me,” sez she agin, with her white lips not movin’ +in a smile, nor a groan. +</p> + +<p> +Now my companion, Josiah Allen, is a class-leader, and though I say it that +mebby shouldn’t—That man is able in prayer. He prays as if he meant +what he said. He don’t try to show off in oritory as so many do, or give +the Lord information. He never sez, “Oh Lord, thou knowest by the +mornin’ papers, so and so.” No, he prays in simple words for what +he wants. And he always seems to feel that somebody is nigh to him, a +hearin’ him, and if it is best and right, his requests will be granted. +</p> + +<p> +So I motioned for that man to kneel down by the bed and pray, which he did. He +wuz to the fore side of the bed, and Miss Flamm and I on the other side. Wall, +Josiah commenced his prayer, in a low earnest askin’ voice, then all of a +sudden he begun to hesitate, waver, and act dretful agitated. And his actions +and agitations seemed to last for some time. I thought it wuz his +feelin’s overcomin’ of him, and of course, my hand bein’ over +my eyes in a respectful, decent way, I didin’t see nothin’. +</p> + +<p> +But at last, after what wuz seemingly a great effort, he began to go on as +usual agin. About that time I heard sunthin’ hit the wall hard on the +other side of the room, and I heard a yelp. But then everything wuz still and +Josiah Allen made a good prayer. And before it wuz through Miss Flamm laid her +head down onto my shoulder, and busted into tears. +</p> + +<p> +And what wuz rooted up and washed away by them tears I don’t know, and I +don’t s’pose anybody duz. Whether vanity, and a mistaken ambition, +and the poor empty successes of a fashionable life wuz uprooted and floated +away on the awakened, sweepin’ tide of a mother’s love and remorse; +whether the dog floated down that stream, and low necked dresses, and high +hazardus slippers, and strings for waists and corsets, and fashion, and folly, +and rivalry, and waltzin’, and glitter, and buttons, and show; whether +they all went down that stream, swept along like bubbles on a heavin’ +tumultuous tide, I don’t know, nor I don’t s’pose anybody +duz. +</p> + +<p> +But any way, from that day on Miss Flamm has been a different woman. I stayed +with her all that night and the next day, she a not leavin’ the +child’s bed for a minute, and we a not gettin’ of her to, much as +we tried to; eatin’ whatever we could make her eat right there by the +bedside. And on the 2d day the doctor see a change in the child and she began +to roust a little out of that stuper, and in a week’s time, she wuz a +beginnin’ to get well. +</p> + +<p> +We stayed on till she wuz out of danger and then we went home. But I see that +she wuz to be trusted with her children after that. She dismissed that nurse, +got a good motherly one, who she said would help her take care of the children +for the future; only <i>help</i> her, for she should have the oversight of ’em +herself, always. +</p> + +<p> +The hired girl told me (Miss Flamm never mentioned it to me), and she wuz glad +enough of it, that the dog wuz dead. It died the day the little girl wuz hurt. +The hired girl said the doctor had told Miss Flamm, that it couldn’t live +long. But it wuzn’t till we wuz on our way home that I found out one of +the last eppisodes in that dog’s life. You see, sick as that dog wuz, it +wuz bound to bark at my pardner as long as it had a breath left in its body. +And Josiah told me in confidence (and it must be kep’, it is right that +it should be); he said jest after he had knelt down and began to pray he felt +that dog climb up onto his heels, and pull at his coat tails, and growl a low +mad growl, and naw at ’em. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image57.gif" height="289" width="413" alt="Josiah prays" /> +</div> + +<p> +He tried to nestle round and get it off quietly but no, there it stood right +onto Josiah Allen’s heels, and hung on, and tugged at them coat-tails, +and growled at ’em that low deep growl, and shook ’em, as if +determined to worry ’em off. And there my companion wuz. He +couldn’t show his feelin’s in his face; he had got to keep his face +all right towards Miss Flamm. And his feelin’s was rousted up about her, +and he wuz a wantin’, and knew he wuz expected, to have his words and +manner soothin’ and comfortin’, and that dog a standin’ on +his heels and tearin’ off his coat-tails. +</p> + +<p> +What to do he didn’t know. He couldn’t stop his prayer on such a +time as this and kill a dog, though he owned up to me that he felt like it, and +he couldn’t keep still and feel his coat-tails tore off of him, and be +growled at, and shook, and pawed at all day. So he said after the dog had gin a +most powerful tug, almost a partin’ the skirts asunder from his coat, he +drew up one foot carefully (still a keepin’ his face straight and the +prayer agoin’) and brung it back sudden and voyalent, and he heard the +dog strike aginst the opposite side of the room with one short, sharp yelp, and +then silence rained down and he finished the prayer. +</p> + +<p> +But he said, and owned it up to me, that it didn’t seem to him so much +like a religious exercise, as he could wish. It didn’t seem to help his +spiritual growth much, if any. +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “I should think as much,” and I sez, “You wuz in a +hard place, Josiah Allen.” +</p> + +<p> +And he sez, “It wuz the dumbest hard place any one wuz ever in on +earth.” +</p> + +<p> +And I sez, “I don’t know but it wuz.” That man wuz to be +pitied, and I told him so, and he acted real cheerful and contented at +hearin’ my mind. He owned up that he had dreaded tellin’ me about +it, for fear I would upbraid him. But, good land! I would have been a hard +hearted creeter if I could upbraid a man for goin’ through such a time as +that. He said he thought mebby I would think it wuz irreverent or +sunthin’, the dog’s actions, at such a time. +</p> + +<p> +“Wall,” sez I, “you didn’t choose the actions, did you? +It wuzn’t nothin’ you wanted.” +</p> + +<p> +“No,” sez he feelin’ly. “Heaven knows I didn’t. +And I done the best I could,” sez he sort a pitiful. +</p> + +<p> +Sez I, “I believe you, Josiah Allen,” and sez I warmly, “I +don’t believe that Alexander, or Cezar, or Grover Cleveland, could have +done any better.” +</p> + +<p> +He brightened all up at this, he felt dretful well to think I felt with him, +and my feelin’s wuz all rousted up to think of the sufferin’s he +had went through, so we felt real well towards each other. Such is some of the +comforts and consolations of pardners. Howsumever, the dog died, and I wuz +kinder sorry for the dog. I think enough of dogs (as dogs) and always did. +Always use ’em dretful well, only it mads me to have ’em put ahead +of children, and sot up in front of ’em. I always did and always shall +like a dog as a <i>dog</i>. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, they say that when that dog died, Miss Flamm hardly inquired about it, +she wuz so took up in gettin’ acquainted with her own children. And I +s’pose they improved on acquaintance, for they say she is jest devoted to +’em. And she got acquainted with G. Washington too, so they say. He wuz a +stiddy, quiet man, and she had got to lookin’ on him as her banker and +business man. But they say she liked him real well, come to get acquainted with +him. He always jest worshipped her, so they are real happy. There wuz always +sunthin’ kinder good about Miss Flamm. +</p> + +<p> +Thos. J. is a carryin’ on another lawsuit for her (more money that +descended onto her from her father, or that ort to descend). And he is +carryin’ it stiddy and safe. It will bring Thomas Jefferson over 900 +dollars in money besides fame, a hull lot of fame. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we sot sail for home in good spirits, and the noon train. And we reached +Jonesville with no particular eppisodin’ till we got to the Jonesville +Depot. +</p> + +<p> +I rather think Ardelia Tutt wrote a poem on the cars goin’ home, though I +can’t say for certain. +</p> + +<p> +She and Abram sot a few seats in front of us, and I thought I see a certain +look to the backside of her head that meant poetry. It wuz a kind of a sot +look, and riz up like. But I can’t say for certain for she didn’t +have no chance to tell me about it. Abram looked down at her all the time as if +he jest worshipped her. And she is a good little creeter, and will make him a +happy wife; I don’t make no doubt. As I said, the old lady is goin’ +to live with Susan. They went right on in the train, for Ardelia’s home +lays beyond Jonesville, and Abram wuz goin’ home with her by Deacon +Tutt’s request. They are willin’. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, we disembarked from the cars, and we found the old mair and the <i>Democrat</i> +a waitin’ for us. Thomas J. wuz a comin’ for us, but had spraint +his wrist and couldn’t drive. Wall, Josia lifted our saddul bags in, and +my umbrell, and the band box. But when he went to lift my trunk he faltered. It +<i>wuz</i> heavy. I had got relicts from Mount McGregor, from the Battlefield, from +the various springs, minerals, stuns, and things, and Josiah couldn’t +lift it. +</p> + +<p> +What added to the hardness of the job, the handles had broken offen it, and he +had to grip hold on it, by the might of his finger nails. It wuz a hard job, +and Josiah’s face got red and I felt, as well as see, that his temper wuz +a risin’. And I sez, instinctively, “Josiah, be calm!” For I +knew not what unguarded word he might drop as he vainly tried to grip hold +on’t, and it eluded his efferts and came down on the ground every time, a +carryin’ with it, I s’pose, portions of his fingernails, broke off +in the fray. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, he wuz a strugglin’ with it and with his feelin’s, for I +kep’ on a sayin’, “Josiah, do be calm! Do be careful about +usin’ a profane word so nigh home and at this time of day, and you jest +home from a tower.” +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image58.gif" height="290" width="422" alt="trying to lift trunk" /> +</div> + +<p> +And he kep’ his feelin’s nobly under control, and never said a +word, only to wonder “what under the High Heavens a woman wanted to lug +round a ton of stuns in her trunk for.” And anon sayin’ that he +would be dumbed if he didn’t leave it right there on the platform. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image59.gif" height="283" width="415" alt="Too heavy!" /> +</div> + +<p> +Savin’ these few slight remarks that man nobly restrained himself, and +lugged and lifted till the blood almost gushed through his bald head. And right +in the midst of the fray, a porter came up and went to liftin’ the trunk +in the usual highheaded, haughty way Railroad officials have. But anon a change +came over his linement. And as it fell back from his fingers to the platform +for the 3d time, he broke out in a torrent of swearin’ words dretful to +hear. +</p> + +<p> +I felt as if I should sink through the <i>Democrat</i>. But Josiah listened to the +awful words with a warm glow of pleasure and satisfaction a beamin’ from +his face. I never saw him look more complacent. And as the man moistened his +hands and with another frightful burst of profanity histed it into the end of +the buggy. +</p> + +<p> +Wall, I gin the man a few warnin’ words aginst profanity, and Josiah gin +him a quarter for liftin’ in the trunk, he said, and we drove off in the +meller glow of the summer sunset. +</p> + +<p> +But it wuz duskish before we got to the turn of the road, and considerable dark +before we got to the Corners. But we went on tbgough the shadows, a +feelin’ we could bear ’em, for we wuz together, and we wuz a +goin’ home. +</p> + +<p> +And pretty soon we got there! The door wuz open, the warm light wuz a +streamin’ out from doors and windows, and there stood the children! +</p> + +<p> +There they all wuz, all we loved best, a waitin’ to welcome us. Love, +which is the light of Heaven, wuz a shinin’ on their faces, and we had +got home. +</p> + +<div class="fig" style="width:60%;"> +<img src="images/image60.gif" height="400" width="364" alt="The End" /> +</div> + +</div><!--end chapter--> + +<div style='display:block; margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SAMANTHA AT SARATOGA ***</div> +<div style='text-align:left'> + +<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> +Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will +be renamed. +</div> + +<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. 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