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diff --git a/34273.txt b/34273.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..70a7c81 --- /dev/null +++ b/34273.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8137 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Gleanings in Graveyards, by Horatio Edward +Norfolk + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Gleanings in Graveyards + a collection of Curious Epitaphs + + +Author: Horatio Edward Norfolk + + + +Release Date: November 10, 2010 [eBook #34273] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GLEANINGS IN GRAVEYARDS*** + + +This ebook was transcribed by Les Bowler. + + + + + + GLEANINGS IN GRAVEYARDS: + + + A COLLECTION OF + + CURIOUS EPITAPHS. + + * * * * * + + COLLATED, COMPILED, AND EDITED + BY + HORATIO EDWARD NORFOLK, + + HONORARY SECRETARY TO THE CHELSEA ATHENAEUM. + + * * * * * + + * * * * * + + _SECOND EDITION_. + + * * * * * + + * * * * * + + London: + JOHN RUSSELL SMITH, 36, SOHO SQUARE. + 1861. + + * * * * * + + LONDON + PRINTED BY P. PICKTON, + PERRY'S PLACE, 29, OXFORD STREET. + + * * * * * + + TO + ROBERT HUNT, ESQ., F.R.S., F.S.S. + H.M. KEEPER OF MINING RECORDS, ETC. ETC. + + THIS LITTLE VOLUME + + IS INSCRIBED + + WITH EVERY FEELING OF RESPECT + + AS A SMALL TRIBUTE OF GRATITUDE + + FOR MANY ACTS OF KINDNESS + + AT HIS HANDS, + + BY + + THE EDITOR. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + PAGE +EPITAPHS IN ENGLAND 1 + WALES 107 + SCOTLAND 111 +MISCELLANEOUS 123 + +PREFACE. + + + (TO THE FIRST EDITION.) + +Although this country may be behind many others in the poetic or classic +character of its monumental inscriptions, it is certainly not so in the +production of Epitaphs of a curious and absurd character. Whether it is +that the British are, as a nation, witty and humorous, and that they are +desirous that their peculiarities should be recorded even in the +sanctuaries of their dead, or that they consider _true_ records of the +departed to be of little or no value, has yet to be shown. It is, +however, remarkable that if we refer to the epitaphial records of other +nations, we find that they are, as a rule, noted for their beauty, +elegance, or truth, whereas of the many graveyards in Great Britain there +is scarcely one that does not afford examples of humourous effusions. + +The Egyptians, although they do not furnish us with many epitaphs worthy +of note, do not seem to have devoted themselves to the production of +frivolous inscriptions, but contented themselves with inscribing on their +sarcophagi and coffins, the name, descent, and functions of the departed. + +The Greeks (as Mr. Pettigrew remarks in his _Chronicles of the Tombs_), +"wrote their epitaphs in elegiac verse, and afterwards in prose, and the +collections published by various hands are well known to, and duly +appreciated by, scholars." + +The Roman tombs also afford us an example worthy of imitation, in the +purity and simplicity of their inscriptions. They usually began with D. +M. (Diis Manibus), followed by the name, office, and age of the deceased, +and a conclusion, which informed the reader by whom or through what means +the inscription was erected. + +Whether the Saxons or the Danes used monumental inscriptions, either in +their own or in the Latin tongue, has been doubted. The few which we +have for people of the Saxon times, are probably the compositions of a +later date. Three or four small slabs, however, bearing crosses and some +early British female names, supposed to be those of nuns, were dug up +some years ago at Hartlepool. + +We are informed also, by the above quoted author, that "in this country, +in early times, were inscriptions prohibited to be engraven on any tombs +but those belonging to persons distinguished either by their high +position, as governors of the kingdom or as military commanders, or +remarkable for their wisdom and virtues." Since this prohibition has +been removed, however, no time seems to have been lost in showing the +necessity for, and the advantage of, such regulation. + +The following pages are intended to convey some idea, to those who have +not the opportunity to search our churchyards for themselves, of the +extent to which the practice has been carried of inscribing tombstones +with verses remarkable either for their quaintness, or their rude +attempts at humour. + +It has been thought advisable to intersperse with the curious Epitaphs a +few inscriptions, more elegant in their composition, and more +praiseworthy in their purport. + +The Miscellaneous are for the most part authentic, and so frequently +placed on gravestones, that to prevent repetition it has been thought +best to arrange them in a chapter by themselves. + +It is hoped, that while this collection of curious Epitaphs may afford +amusement to all, that it will not prove offensive to any, nor fail to +convey the salutary lesson that a healthful smile may be elicited from +the homely record of human woe. + + H. E. N. + +CHELSEA ATHENAEUM, + 1_st April_, 1861. + + + + +EPITAPHS. + + +Bedfordshire. + + +COLMWORTH. + + +Here is a magnificent monument, erected in 1611, by Lady Dyer, in memory +of her deceased husband, Sir William Dyer, the inscription upon which +tells us that "they multiplied themselves into seven children." Beneath +are the following quaint lines:-- + + My dearest dust, could not thy hasty day + Afford thy drowsy patience leave to stay + One hour longer, so that we might either + Have set up, or gone to bed together! + But since thy finished labour hath possessed + Thy weary limbs with early rest, + Enjoy it sweetly, and thy widow bride + Shall soon repose her by thy slumbering side! + Whose business now is to prepare + My nightly dress and call to prayer. + Mine eyes wax heavy, and the days grow old, + The dew falls thick--my blood grows cold:-- + Draw, draw the closed curtains, and make room, + My dear, my dearest dust, I come, I come. + + + +EDWORTH. + + + Here lies father, and mother, and sister, and I, + We all died within the space of one year, + They be all buried at Whimble except I, + And I be buried here. + + + +LUTON. + + +In the "Wenlock Chapel" in the above church, on an embattled altar-tomb +is a recumbent figure of a priest--representing William Wenlock, who died +1392. Round the verge of the tomb is inscribed, in ancient characters,-- + + . . . . Ilemus hic tumulatus de Wenlock natus; in ordine + presbiteratus; alter hujus ille: dominus meus fuit ville: hic jacet + indignus: anime Deus esto benignus! + +On the side of the tomb,-- + + In Wenlock brad I: in this town lordshcippes had I! here am I now + lady: Christes moder help me lady. Under these stones: for a tym + shal I rest my bones; deyn mot I ned ones. Myghtful God gra't me thy + woues. Ame'. + +Formerly in a window of this chapel was a portrait of Wenlock, with the +following inscription:-- + + Jesu Christ, most of might, + Have mercy on John de Wenlock, knight, + And of his wife Elizabeth, + Which out of this world is passed by death, + Which founded this chapel here, + Help thou them with your hearty prayer, + That they may come unto that place, + Where ever is joy and solace. + +On an altar-tomb in the tower is the following:-- + + Thomas Gilbert here doth stai + Waiting for God's judgment day, + Who died August 25, 1566. + +A slab on the floor of the south aisle bears this inscription,-- + + Here lyeth the body of Daniel Knight, + Who all my lifetime lived in spite. + Base flatterers sought me to undoe, + And made me sign what was not true. + Reader take care, whene'er you venture + To trust a canting false dessenter, + Who died June 11th, in the 61st year of his age, + 1756. + +A friend of Daniel Knight (at whose instigation the above epitaph was +engraved during his lifetime, and the future tombstone used as a cupboard +door) prepared an inscription for his own tomb,-- + + "Here lies the body of Thomas Proctor + Who lived and died without a doctor." + +But fate, jealous of the reputation of the faculty, broke his leg, and +compelled him to sacrifice to AEsculapius. + + + +Berkshire. + + +BUCKLEBURY. + + +Here lyeth the body of Samuel Wightwicke, Esqre. 1662. + + Heaven only knowes the Blisse his soul inioyes, + Whil's wee on earth seeke after fading toyes, + And doe not mind how saints and angells singe + To see him thron'd with his eternall king. + + + +WEST WOODHAY. + + +In the old church near Newbury, is the following epitaph to the memory of +Sir Ben Rudyerd:-- + + John Grant, in memory of his deare and honoured Master Sir Benjamin + Rudyerd, knight, hath affixed this stone over his grave with this + epitaph made by Sir Benjamin in his younger years:-- + + Fond world, leave off this foolish trick + Of making epitaphs upon the dead; + Rather go write them on the quick, + Whose soules in earthly flesh lye buried. + For in this grave lyes nought of me + But my soules grave, two graves well turned to one. + Thus do I live, from death made free; + Trust me, good friend, I am not dead, but gone + To God and Christ, my Saviour alone. + 1656. + + + +OLD WINDSOR. + + + When this you see remember me + As I lay under ground, + The world say what it will of me, + Speak of me as you have found. + + + +ALDWORTH. + + +There is a vulgar tradition that in this place four Johns were buried, +and they are described as follows:--John Long, John Strong, John +Ever-afraid, and John Never-afraid. They say that John Ever-afraid was +afraid to be buried either in the church or out of it, and was +consequently buried under the wall, where the arch appears on the +outside, by the south church door. + + * * * * * + +The following is a copy of an epitaph, now almost obliterated, in Speen +Churchyard, and which, admired for its simple pathos, has been handed to +us for insertion:-- + + In memory of John Matthews, of Donnington, Berks, + 1779. + + When Heaven with equal eyes our quick'ning dust + Shall view, and judge the bad and praise the just, + His humble merits may perhaps find room + Where kings shall wish, but wish in vain to come. + + * * * * * + +In Sunning Hill Churchyard is the following epitaph on the late Right +Hon. Colonel Richard Fitzpatrick, written by himself:-- + + Whose turn is next? This monitory stone + Replies, vain passenger perhaps thine own; + If idly curious, thou wilt seek to know + Whose relicks mingle with the dust below, + Enough to tell thee, that his destin'd span, + On earth he dwelt, and like thyself a man. + Nor distant far th' inevitable day + When thou, poor mortal, shalt like him be clay; + Through life he walk'd un-emulous of fame, + Nor wish'd beyond it to preserve a name. + Content, if friendship, o'er his humble bier + Dropt but the heart-felt tribute of a tear; + Though countless ages should unconscious glide, + Nor learn that even he had lived and died. + + + +NEWBURY. + + +On Elizth Daughter of James Bond, 1659. + + Low, here she is, deprived of lyfe, + Which was a verteous and a loving wife; + Until the graves again restore + Their dead, and Time shall be no more; + She was brought a-bed, but spous above, + And dyed to pay the living pledge of love. + + * * * * * + +On Mr. Hugh Shepley, sometime Rector of Newbvrye, 1596. + + Full eight and twenty years he was your pastor, + As hee was taught to feede by Christ, his Master; + By preaching God's Word, good life, good example, + (Food for your soules, fitt for God's house or temple) + Hee loved peace, abandoned all strife, + Was kinde to strangers, neighbours, children, wife; + A lambe-like man, borne on an Easter daye, + So liv'd, so dide, so liv's again for aye; + As one Spring brought him to this world of sinne, + Another Spring the Heavens received him in. + + * * * * * + +In the Parish Church of Aldermaston is the following:-- + + To the precious memorie of four Virtuous Sisters, + daughters of Sir H. Forster, 1623. + + Like borne, like new-borne, here like dead they lye, + Four virgin sisters, decked with pietie; + Beavtie and other graces, which commend + And make them all like blessed in their end. + + + +CHADDLEWORTH. + + +To the memory of Mary, wife of Thomas Nelson, of this parish, who died +1618, beinge of the age of 30 years, and had issue 7 children. + + If thou religious art that passest by + Stay and reade on; as thou art so was I: + If thou art blest with children, and dost crave + In God's feare them trayned up to have + Reade on agayn, and to thyself thus tell + Here she doth lye that was my parallel; + Or art thou bounteous, hospitable, free, + Belov'd of all, and they beloved of thee; + Meeke, full of mercy, and soe truly good + As flesh can be, and spronge of gentle blood? + If thou art soe, to thine own dear selfe saye, + Who on her grave my monument did lay? + But if to these thou knowst thyselfe but chaffe, + Pass on thy waye, reade not my epitaphe. + + Also Dorothy Nelson, wife of William Nelson, who died + 1619, being of 86 years, and had issue 7 children. + + It was not many years that made mee good, + Neither was it in the vigor of my blood; + For if soe then my goodness might have past, + And as I did, have ceast to be at laste. + But 'twas the grace my Maker did enshrine + In my meeke breast, which cleerely there did shine. + As my soul now amongst the chosen blest, + Under this stone although my bones doe rest. + + + +PEWSEY. + + + Here lies the body + Lady O'Looney, + Great niece of Burke, commonly + called the Sublime. + She was + Bland, passionate, and deeply religious; + Also she painted in water colours, + And sent several pictures to the Exhibition. + She was first cousin to Lady Jones. + And of such is the kingdom of heaven. + + + +ALLWORTH CHAPEL, WINDSOR. + + + Here lies a modell of frail man, + A tender infant, but a span + In age or stature. Here she must + Lengthen out both bedded in dust. + Nine moneths imprisoned in ye wombe, + Eight on earth's surface free; ye tombe + Must now complete her diarie, + So leave her to aeternatie. + + + +Buckinghamshire. + + +DATCHET. + + + EPITAPH ON TWO SISTERS. + + A tender mother, aunt, and friend, + They continued to their end. + + + +HIGH WYCOMBE. + + + Death is a fisherman; the world we see + A fish-pond is, and we the fishes be; + He sometimes angles, like doth with us play, + And slily take us, one by one away. + + + +IVER. + + + On William Hawkins. + + Once at his death, and twice in wedlocke blest; + Thrice happy in his labour and his rest; + Espoused now to Christ, his head in life, + Being twice a husband, and in death a wife. + + On a Lady. + + Two happy days assigned are to men-- + Of wedlocke and of death. O happy then, + 'Mongst women was she who is here interred, + Who lived out two, and, dying, had a third. + + On Richard Carter. + + An honest man, a friend sincere, + What more can be said? He's buried here. + + + +FARNHAM. + + + A sudden death, a mind contented; + Living beloved, dead lamented. + + + +WYCOMBE. + + + Here lies one, whose rest + Gives me a restless life; + Because I've lost a good + And virtous wyfe. + + + +Cambridgeshire. + + +ALL SAINT'S CHURCH, CAMBRIDGE. + + + Epitaph of a Wine Merchant. + + "In Obitum Mio Johannis Hammond AEnopolae Epitaphium + "Spiritus ascendit generosi Nectaris astra, + "Juxta Altare Calex hic facet ecco sacrum + "Corporu [Greek text] cu fit Communia magna + "Unio tunc fuerit Nectaris et Calicis." + + + +SOHAM + +1 To God 2 To Prince 3 Wife 4 Kindred + 5 Friend 6 Poor +1 Religious 2 Loyal 3 True 4 Kind + 5 Steadfast 6 Dear +1 In Zeal 2 Faith 3 Love 4 Blood + 5 Amity 6 And + Store + He hath so lived, and so Deceased + Lie--Here. + + + _Translation_. + +It consists of four lines, each of which contains five ambusses, or ten +syllables (which is evident, from the rhyming) and therefore it should be +read thus:-- + + To God, to Prince, Wife, Kindred, Friend, the Poor, + Religious, Loyal, True, Kind, Stedfast, Dear. + In Zeal, Faith, Love, Blood, Amity, and Store, + He hath so liv'd, and so Deceas'd, lies here. + +The meaning appears to be, that the deceased was Religious to God, Loyal +to his Prince, true to his Wife, Kind to his Kindred, Stedfast to his +Friend, and Dear to the Poor; that he was endued with those qualities all +his life, and died in the possession of them.--As to the Figures, most +likely they were used to distinguish particularly the relation which a +word in one line bore to that, which in another line had the same figure. + + * * * * * + +At BABRAHAM is this on Orazio Palovicini, who was the last deputed to +this country to collect the Peter pence; but instead of returning to +Rome, he divided the spoil with the Queen, and bought the estate at +Babraham. + + Here lies Orazio Palovicin, + Who robb'd the Pope to pay the Queen. + He was a thief. A thief? Thou liest! + For why? He robbed but antichrist. + + Him Death with besom swept from Babraham, + Unto the bosom of old Abraham; + Then came Hercules, with his club, + And knocked him down to Beelzebub. + + + +ALL SAINTS', CAMBRIDGE. + + + She took the cup of life to sip, + Too bitter 'twas to drain; + She put it meekly from her lip, + And went to sleep again. + + * * * * * + +At WOOD DITTON, on a gravestone in which is fixed an iron dish, according +to the instructions of the deceased:-- + + On William Symons, ob. 1753, aet. 80. + + Here lies my corpse, who was the man + That loved a sop in the dripping pan; + But now, believe me I am dead, + See here the pan stands at my head. + Still for sops to the last I cried, + But could not eat, and so I died. + My neighbours, they perhaps will laugh, + When they do read my epitaph. + + + +CAIUS COLLEGE CHAPEL, A.D. 1613:-- + + + On William Webbe. + + A richer Webb than any art can weave, + The Soule that Faith to Christ makes firmly cleave. + This Webbe can Death, nor Devils, sunder nor untwist, + For Christ and Grace both groundwork are and List. + + * * * * * + +At CASTLE CAMPS the following quaint epitaph on a former rector:-- + + Mors mortis morti mortem nisi morte dedisset, + AEternae Vitae Janua clausa foret. + +The translation is obviously,-- + + "Unless the Death of Death (Christ) had given death to death by his + own death, the gate of eternal life had been closed." + +A poetic specimen of declension! + + +ST. ANDREW'S CHURCH, CAMBRIDGE. + + + An angel beckoned and her spirit flew, + But oh! her last look it cut our souls in two. + + + +ST. MARY'S, CAMBRIDGE. + + + On John Foster, Esq. of that town. + + Nomen, decus, Tellus meum, + Quid referunt haec ad te + Genus etiamque meum, + Clarum quid aut humile? + + Forsan omnes alios longe + Ego antecellui, + Forsan cunctis aliis valde + (Nam quid tunc?) succubui. + + Ut hoc tu vides tumulum + Hospes certe satis est, + Ejus tu scis bene usum + Tegit--"Nihil" interest. + + _Translation_. + + My name, my country, what are they to thee? + What, whether high or low, my pedigree? + Perhaps I surpassed by far all other men, + Perhaps I fell below them all, what then? + Suffice it, stranger, that thou seest a tomb, + Its use thou knowest; it hides--"no matter whom." + + + +CAMBRIDGE. + + + Here lies interred, beneath this stone, + The bones of a true hearty one, + Who lived well and died better, + And sings in Heaven Glory for ever. + + + +ELY. + + +In the Cathedral is the following numerical curiosity:-- + + Human Redemption. + + 590 x 590 x 590 + Born * Sara * Watts + Died + 600 x 600 x 600 + 30 x 00 x 33 + Aged + y 30 x 00 x 33 + m 3 x d 31 -- 3 + h 3 x 3 x 3 x 12 + + + Nations make fun of his + Commands. + S. M. E. + Judgments begun on Earth. + In memory of + James Fountain, + Died August 21, 1767, + Aged 60 years. + + * * * * * + +Philippa Brown, died November 22nd, 1738, aged 63. + + Here I lie, without the door, + The church is full, 'twill hold no more; + Here I lye, the less I pay, + And still I lie as warm as they. + When thou art dead, let this thy comfort be, + That all the world by turn, must follow thee. + + * * * * * + + On Luke Simon, died May 25, 1784, aged 63. + + Man's life's a snare, a labyrinth of woe, + Which mortal men are doomed to struggle this; + To-day he's great, to-morrow he's undone, + And thus with hope and fear he travels on: + Till some disease, or else old age, + Calls us poor mortals trembling off the stage. + + + +Cheshire. + + +Copied from the tombstone of Mr. Samuel Johnson, commonly called Maggoty +Johnson, who was interred in a plantation or wood, belonging to the Earl +of Harrington, in Gawsworth, near Macclesfield, Cheshire. + + Under this stone + + Rest the remains of Mr. Samuel Johnson, afterwards ennobled with the + grander title of Lord Flame. Who, after having been in his life + distinct from other men by the eccentricities of his genius, chose to + retain the same character after his death, and was, at his own + desire, buried here, May 5th, 1773, aged 82 yrs. + + Stay thou, whom chance directs, or ease persuades + To seek the quiet of these Sylvan shades; + Here, undisturb'd and hid from vulgar eyes, + A Wit, Musician, Poet, player lies; + A dancing master, too, in grace he shone, + And all the acts of Opera were his own; + In comedy well skill'd he drew Lord Flame, + Acted the part and gained himself the name. + Averse to strife, how oft he'd gravely say + These peaceful groves should shade his breathless clay; + That, when he rose again, laid here alone, + No friend and he should quarrel for a bone; + Thinking, that were some old lame Gossip nigh, + She possibly might take his leg or thigh. + + + +PRESBURY. + + + Beneath this stone lyes Edward Green, + Who for cutting stone famous was seen. + But he was sent to apprehend + One Joesph Clarke, of Kerredge End, + For stealing Deer of Squire Dounes, + Where he was shot, and died o'th wounds. + + + +DAVENHAM. + + + On David Berkenhead. + + A tailor by profession, + And in the practice, a plain and honest man. + He was a useful member of society; + For, though he picked holes in no man's coat, + He was ever ready to repair + The mischief that others did. + And whatever _breaches_ broke out in _families_, + He was the man to mend _all_, + And make matters up _again_. + He lived and died respected. + +Forty years' service in Lord Penryhn's family, induced Lady Penryhn to +bestow this stone to his memory. + + +CHESTER. + + + On an Old Woman who sold Pots. + + Beneath this stone lies Cath'rine Gray, + Changed to a lifeless lump of clay. + By earth and clay she got her pelf, + Yet now she's turn'd to Earth herself. + Ye weeping friends, let me advise, + Abate your grief, and dry your eyes. + For what avails a flood of tears? + Who knows, but in a run of years, + In some tall pitcher or broad pan, + She in her shop may be again? + + + +CHESTER. + + + Periwinks! Periwinkle! was ever her cry, + She laboured to live Poor and honest to die; + At the last day Again how her old Eyes will twinkle, + For no more will she cry, Periwinks! Periwinkle! + Ye Rich, to Virtue's want rejoicing give, + Ye Poor, by her Example learn to live. + + * * * * * + + On a Sexton. + + Hurra! my brave Boys, let's rejoice at his fall, + For if he had lived he had Buried us all. + + + +WESTON. + + + On a Parish Church. + + There lies entomb'd within this vault so dark, + A Tailor, cloth draw'r, soldier, and a clerk. + Death snatch'd him hence, and also from him took + His needle, thimble, sword, and prayer book. + He could not work nor fight, what then? + He left the world, and faintly cry'd--Amen. + + + +ST. JOHN'S CHURCH, CHESTER. + + + On a swift-footed Man. + + Here lies the swift racer; so fam'd for his running, + In spite of his boasting, his swiftness and cunning, + In leaping o'er hedges, and skipping o'er fields, + Death soon overtook him, and tript up his heels. + + + +GAWSWORTH. + + + Reader, take notice, + That on ye 12 Feby 1760, + Tho: Corbishley, + A brave veteran Dragoon + Here went into his quarters. + But remember that when + The trumpet calls + He'll out and march again. + + + +Cornwall. + + +TRURO. + + + A Dyer born, a dyer bred, + Lies numbered here among the dead; + Dyers, like mortals doomed to die, + Alike fit food for worms supply. + Josephus Dyer was his name, + By dyeing he acquired fame; + 'Twas in his forty-second year, + His neighbours kind did him inter. + Josephus Dyer, his first son, + Doth also lie beneath this stone; + So likewise doth his second boy, + Who was his parents' hope and joy. + His handiwork did all admire, + For never was a better dyer. + Both youths were in their fairest prime, + Ripe fruitage of a healthful clime; + But nought can check Death's lawless aim, + Whosoever life he choose to claim; + It was God's edict from the throne, + "My will upon earth shall be done." + Then did the active mother's skill + The vacancy with credit fill, + Till she grew old, and weak, and blind, + And this last wish dwelt on her mind-- + That she, when dead, should buried be + With her loved spouse and family, + At last Death's arm her strength defied; + Thus all the dyeing Dyers died. + +"A prolonged medical statement of the disease of which the departed may +chance to have died, is extremely popular. At Acton, in Cornwall, there +is this particular account of how one Mr. Morton came by his end:-- + + "Here lies entombed one Roger Morton, + Whose sudden death was early brought on; + Trying one day his corn to mow off, + The razor slipped and cut his toe off: + The toe, or rather what it grew to, + An inflammation quickly flew to; + The parts they took to mortifying, + And poor dear Roger took to dying." + + * * * * * + +"Here is what a Cornish gentleman finds it in his heart to inscribe upon +his dear departed:-- + + "My wife is dead, and here she lies, + No man laughs and no man cries, + Where she's gone, or how she fares, + Nobody knows and nobody cares." + + + +PENRYN. + + + Here lies William Smith, + And what is somewhat rarish, + He was born, bred, and + Hanged in this parish. + + + +CALSTOCK. + + + Susanna Jones, + 1812. + + All you that read those lines + Would stop awhile and think, + That I am in eternity, + And you are on the brink. + + * * * * * + + Mary Matthews, + 1846. + + This harmless dove, our tender love, + Flew from this world of vice, + To peace and rest, for ever blest, + With Christ in Paradise. + + + +ST. PAUL'S CHURCHYARD, MOUSEHOLE. + + + On Dolly Pentreath. + + Old Doll Pentreath, one hundred age and two, + Both born and in Paul parish buried too; + Not in the church 'mongst people great and high, + But in the church-yard doth old Dolly lie! + + + +STRATTON. + + + Life's like an Inn, think man this truth upon, + Some only breakfast and are quickly gone; + Others to dinner stay and are full fed, + The oldest man but sups and goes to bed. + Large is his score who tarries through the day, + Who goes the soonest has the least to pay. + + + +SOUTH PETHERWIN. + + + Beneath this stone lies Humphrey and Joan, + Who together rest in peace, + Living indeed, + They disagreed, + But now all quarrels cease. + + + +LANDULPH. + + +Here lyeth the body of Theodore Paleologus, of Pesaro, in Italye, +descended from the imperyal line of the last Christian Emperor of Greece, +being the sonne of Camillo, the sonne of Prosper, the sonne of Theodore, +the sonne of John, the sonne of Thomas, the second brother of Constantine +Paleologus, that rayned in Constantinople until subdued by the Turks, who +married with Mary, the daughter of William Ball, of Hadlye, in Suffolk, +gent., and had issue five children, Theodore, John, Ferdinando, Maria, +and Dorothy; and departed this life at Clyfton, the 21st of January, +1636. + + * * * * * + + On Sir Francis Vere. + + When Vere sought death, arm'd with his sword and shield, + Death was afraid to meet him in the field; + But when his weapons he had laid aside, + Death, like a coward, struck him, and he died. + + + +ST. AGNES. + + + Here lies the body of Joan Carthew, + Born at St. Columb, died at St. Cue, + Children she had five, + Three are dead, and two alive, + Those that are dead chusing rather + To die with their Mother, than live with their Father. + + + +GUNWALLOE. + + + Read backwards or forwards-- + + Shall we all die? + We shall die all. + All die shall we-- + Die all we shall. + + + +GRADE. + + + Date 1671. + + Why here?--why not, it's all one ground, + And here none will my dust confound. + My Saviour lay where no one did-- + Why not a member as his head, + No quire to sing, no bells to ring, + Why so thus buried was my king. + I grudge the fashion of the day + To fat the church and stane the lay, + Though nothing now of the be seen, + I hope my name and bed be green. + + + +CALSTOCK. + + + James Berlinner, killed at Huel Bedford, 1844. + + Consider well both old and young, + Who by my grave do pass, + Death soon may come with his keen scythe, + And cut you down like grass. + Tho' some of you perhaps may think + From danger to be free, + Yet in a moment may be sent, + Into the grave like me. + + * * * * * + + William Kellaway, + 1822. + + My body is turned to dust, + As yours that living surely must, + Both rich and poor to dust must fall, + To rise again, when Christ doth call. + + * * * * * + + Elizabeth Roskelly, + 1844. + + Farewell, dear husband, I bid adieu, + I leave nine children to God and you; + I hope you'll live in peace and love, + I trust we all shall meet above. + Tho' months and years in pain and tears, + Through troubled paths I've trod, + My Saviour's voice bids me rejoice, + And calls my soul to God. + + + +ST. NEOT. + + +Here lieth the body of John Robyns, of this parish, buried the 27th day +of December, 1724, about the 80th year of his age. + + "Prosopeia Defuncti." + + "Mark thou that readest, and my case behold, + Ere long thou shalt be closed in death's fold, + As well as I; nothing on earth can save + Our mortal bodies, from the darksome grave. + Then timely think thereon, to mind thy end; + Wisely to be prepared when God shall send + To fetch thee hence; and then thou shalt but die, + To live at rest with Christ eternally. + "Here lieth John Robyns, in his bed of dust, + Who in the Lord did ever put his trust; + And dying, gave a pension to the poor, + Yearly for ever, which unlocks the door + Of everlasting bliss, for him to reign + With Christ his head, his great, and truest gain: + And with the holy angels sit and sing + Eternal anthems to the heavenly king." + "If this stone be not kept in repair, + The legacy devolves unto his heir." + + + +BODMIN. + + + Here lies the Body of John Meadow, + His life passed away like a shadow. + + + +TRURO. + + + Here lies we + Babies three, + Here we must lie + Until the Lord do cry, + "Come out, and, live wi' I!" + + + +Derbyshire. + + +BAKEWELL. + + + On a defunct Parish Clerk. + + The vocal Powers here let us mark, + Of Philip our late Parish Clerk, + In Church was ever heard a layman, + With clearer voice say Amen? + Who now with Hallelujah sound + Like him can make the roofs rebound? + The Choir lament his choral tones; + The town so soon here lie his bones. + Sleep undisturbed within thy peaceful shrine, + Till angels wake thee with such notes as thine. + + + +Devonshire. + + +STOKE FLEMING. + + + By Dr. Walcot, alias Peter Pindar. + +To the Memory of Margaret Southcotte, who died the 27th of August, 1786, +aged 12 years and 9 months. + + Beneath this stone, in sweet repose, + The friend of all, a fair one lies: + Yet hence let Sorrow vent her woes, + Far hence let Pity pour her sighs; + Tho' every hour thy life approv'd, + The muse the strain of grief forbears; + Nor wishes, tho' by all belov'd, + To call thee to a world of cares. + Best of thy sex, alas! farewell, + From this dark scene remov'd to shine, + Where purest shades of mortals dwell, + And virtue waits to welcome thine. + +An ill-natured critic wrote the following under these beautiful lines:-- + + Can a Southcotte be said to deserve all the praise + Which above in the rhymes may be seen? + But 'tis not impossible, since the stone says + She had not reached the age of thirteen! + + + +LYDFORD. + + + "Here lies, in a _horizontal_ position, + the outside _case_ of + George Routleigh, Watchmaker, + whose abilities in that line were an honour to his + profession. + Integrity was the _mainspring_, and prudence the _regulator_ + of all the _actions_ of his life; + Humane, generous, and liberal, his _hand_ never _stopped_ + till he had relieved distress: + So nicely _regulated_ was his _movements_, + that he never _went wrong_, + except when _set a-going_ + by people who did not know _his key_: + Even then he was easily _set right_ again. + He had the art of disposing of his _Time_, + so well, + That his _hours_ glided away in one + continual _round_ of pleasure and delight, + Till an unlucky _moment_ put a _period_ to his existence. + He departed this life November 14, 1802, + aged 57, _wound up_, + in hopes of being taken in _hand_ by his _Maker_: + and of being thoroughly _cleaned_, _repaired_, and _set a-going_ + for the world to come." + + + +TAVISTOCK. + + + Under this stone lies three children dear, + Two be buried at Tawton, and the other here? + + * * * * * + +Here is a still more entertaining one, upon a certain lady in Devonshire, +singularly free from any nonsensical pretence or idle bravado:-- + + "Here lies Betsy Cruden, + She wood a leaf'd but she cooden, + 'Twas na grief na sorrow as made she decay, + But this bad leg as carr'd she away." + + + +KINGSWEAR. + + + Vos qui ici venez + Pur l'alme Philip priez, + Trente jours de pardon + Serra vostre guerdon. + + + +KING'S TEIGNTON. + + + On Richard Adlam. + + Richardus Adlam hujus ecclesiae Vicarius obit + Feb. 10, 1670. Apostrophe ad Mortem. + "Dam'n'd tyrant, can't profaner blood suffice? + Must priests that offer be the sacrifice? + Go tell the genii that in Hades lye + Thy triumphs o'er this Sacred Calvary, + Till some just Nemesis avenge our cause, + And force this kill-priest to revere good laws!" + + + +EXETER. + + + Billeted here by death + In quarters I remain, + When the last trumpet sounds, + I'll rise and march again. + + + +KINGSBRIDGE. + + +On a man who was too poor to be buried with his relations in the +Church:-- + + Here lie I, at the Chancel door; + Here I lie, because I'm poor; + The further in the more to pay; + Here I lie as warm as they! + + + +BIDEFORD. + + + "Her marriage day appointed was, + And wedding-clothes provided, + But when the day arrived did, + She sickened and she died did." + + * * * * * + + "Here lies two brothers by misfortune surrounded, + One died of his wounds and the other was drownded." + + + +MILTON ABBOT. + + + To Bartholomew Doidge--And Joan his wife. + + Joan was buried the 1st day of Feby.' 1681. + Bartholomew was buried the 12th day of Feby.' 1681. + "She first deceas'd--he a little try'd + "To live without her--lik'd it not, and died." + + + +AULIS-COMBE. + + +Here lie the remains of James Pady, Brickmaker, late of the parish, in +hopes that his clay will be remoulded in a workmanlike manner, far +superior to his former perishable materials. + + Keep death and Judgement always in your eye, + Or else the devil off with you will fly, + And in his kiln with brimstone ever fry. + If you neglect the narrow road to seek, + Christ will reject you, like a half Burnt Brick. + + + +MAKER. + + + John Phillips, 1837. + + Vain man, in health and strength do not confide, + This I enjoyed, yet in my bloom I died. + Not long before as likely for to live, + As any of the livliest sons of Eve. + But death may come in an untimely way, + Therefore prepare against that solemn day. + + * * * * * + + John Linning, 1824. + + Stop, reader! stop and view this stone, + And ponder well where I am gone. + Then, pondering, take thou home this rhyme-- + The grave next opened may be thine. + + * * * * * + + Richard Snell, 1801. + + At first I had a watery grave, + Now here on earth a place I have; + Wife and children don't weep for me, + Fortune and Fate none can forsee. + + + +CREDITON. + + + On Eadulph, Bishop of Devon, ob. 932. + + Sis testis Christe, quod non jacet hic lapis iste, + Corpus ut ornetur, sed spiritus ut memoretur. + Quisquis eris qui transiris, sta, perlege, plora; + Sum quod eris, fueramq; quod es; pro me precor ora. + Christ! bear me witness, that this stone is not + Put here t'adorn a body, that must rot; + But keep a name, that it mayn't be forgot. + Whoso doth pass, stay, read, bewail, I am + What thou must be; was what thou art the same; + Then pray for me, ere you go whence ye came. + + + +LYDFORD. + + +Elizabeth Farington, wife of John Farington, of the county of Nottingham. +Twenty-five Knights were born in this family. 1738. + + In Oxford born, in Lydford dust I lie, + Don't break my grave until ye judgment day. + Then shall I rise, in shining glory bright, + To meet my Lord with comfort and delight. + + + +BRENT-TOR. + + + Wife of John Coleirm. 1694. + + If thou be curious, friend, peruse this stone; + If thou be not soe, pray let it alone. + Against Death's poison Virtue's the best art, + When good men seem to die, they but depart. + Live well, then, all; with us thoult feele, + Bare dying makes no Death, but dying _weal_? + + [The last word was obliterated.] + + + +WHITECHURCH. + + + John Spry and Margaret his wife. + 1738. + + In a good old age, + By death we did fall, + And here we must lie + Until Christ doth call. + + * * * * * + + Gregory Nicholas. 1840. + + --Sleep here awhile, Thou Dearest + Part of me, and in a little while I'll + Come and sleep with thee. + + * * * * * + + Thomas Ching. 1857. + + In health and strength from home I went, + I thought so to return; + But while at work I lost my life, + And left my friends to mourn. + Then thou who knowest my fate, + While pondering o'er my sod, + So short may be thy date, + "Prepare to meet thy God." + + + +TIVERTON. + + +On the tomb of Edward Courtenay, third Earl of Devon, commonly called +"the blind and good Earl," an Epitaph, frequently quoted, appears. The +Earl died in 1419, and his Countess was Maud, daughter of Lord Camoys. + + Hoe! hoe! who lies here? + I, the goode Erle of Devonshire; + With Maud, my wife, to me full dere, + We lyved togeather fyfty-fyve yere. + What wee gave, wee have; + Whatt wee spent wee had; + What wee left, we loste. + + + +WHITCHURCH. + + + Richard Shortridge. 1831. + + Hark! what is that noise so mournful and slow, + That sends on the winds the tickings of woe, + In sound like the knell of a spirit that's fled, + And tells us, alas! a brother is dead? + Yes, gone to the grave is he whom we lov'd + And lifeless the form that manfully mov'd, + The clods of the valley encompass his head, + This tombstone reminds us our brother is dead. + + + +Dorsetshire. + + +WIMBORNE. + + + John Penny. + + Here honest John, who oft the turf had paced, + And stopp'd his mother's earth, in earth is placed, + Nor all the skill of John himself could save, + From being stopp'd within an earthly grave. + A friend to sport, himself of sporting fame, + John died, as he had lived, with heart of game-- + Nor did he yield until his mortal breath + Was hard run down by that grim sportsman--Death. + Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, + Dig four feet deep, and thou wilt find--a Penny. + + + +EAST KNOWLE TURNPIKE. + + + Since Man to Man is so unjust, + That no Man knows what man to trust, + My Roads are good, my Toll's just, + Pay to-day, to-morrow I'll trust. + + + +WYKE. + + + In memory of Eniah Harisdin. + + Also 4 sons who received the shock, + Whereof 3 lies here, and one do not. + What caused their parents for to weep, + Because that one lies in the Deep. + + +LILLINGTON. + + + I poorly lived, I poorly died, + And when I was buried nobody cried. + + * * * * * + + Not born, not dead, not christen'd, not begot, + So! here she lies, that was, and that was not; + She was born, baptized, is dead, and what is more, + Was in her life, not honest, not a ----- + Reader, behold a wonder rarely wrought, + And whilst thou seem'st to read, thou readest _not_. + + + +DORCHESTER. + + + Frank from his Betty snatch'd by Fate, + Shows how uncertain is our state; + He smiled at morn, at noon lay dead-- + Flung from a horse that kick'd his head, + But tho' he's gone, from tears refrain, + At judgment he'll get up again. + + + +SILTON. + + + Here lies a piece of Christ-- + a star in dust; + A vein of gold--a china dish, + that must-- + Be used in Heaven, when God + shall feast the just. + + + +Durham. + + +QUARRINGTON. + + + To the memory of Thomas Bouchier, dated 1635. + + The petterne of conjugale love, the rare + Mirroure of father's care; + Candid to all, his ev'ry action penn'd + The copy of a frend, + His last words best, a glorious eve (they say) + Foretells a glorious day, + Erected and composed with teares by his pensive + sonne, James Bouchier. + + * * * * * + +Amongst the ludicrous and eccentric Epitaphs, perhaps one of the worst is +that at Gateshead, on Robert Trollop, architect of the Exchange and Town +Court of Newcastle:-- + + "Here lies Robert Trollop, + Who made yon stones roll up: + When death took his soul up, + His body filled this hole up." + + + +Essex. + + +BRENTWOOD. + + + "Here lies Isaac Greentree." + +A man passing through the churchyard wrote as follows:-- + + There is a time when these green trees shall fall, + And Isaac Greentree rise above them all. + + + +MESSING. + + + Here lieth buried + John Porter, Yeoman, + who died 29th of April, 1600, + who had issue eight sons and + four daughters by one woman. + Learn to live by faith, as I did live before, + Learn u to give in faith, as I did at my door, + Learn u to keep by faith, as God be still thy store, + Learn u to lend by faith, as I did to the poor; + Learn u to live, to give, to keep, to lend, to spend, + That God in Christ, at day of death, may prove thy friend. + + + +CHELMSFORD. + + + Jane L. Andrews, aet. 22. + + How could we wish for her to stay below, + When joys in heaven for her prepared? + May we, like her, our passport have, and know, + Assuredly, that we shall gain admittance there; + Then will her joys be ours, and own her cry,-- + We are content to live, but we would rather die. + + * * * * * + + "Here lies the man Richard, + And Mary his wife; + Their surname was Pritchard + They lived without strife; + And the reason was plain,-- + They abounded in riches, + They had no care or pain, + And his wife wore the breeches." + + * * * * * + + Martha Blewitt, + of the Swan, Baythorn-End, + of this Parish, + buried May 7th, 1681. + Was the wife of nine Husbands + successively, but the 9th outlived her. + The Text to her Funeral Sermon was:-- + "Last of all the Woman died also." + + + +MALDON. + + +To the memory of Herbert George Anna, a third child, all born at one +birth, the son and daughters of Samuel and Mary Lines, of this parish, +who departed this life 30th of April, 1847, aged 3 days. + + Weep not for me my mother dear, + Rather be you glad; + In this world our time was short,-- + The longer rest we have. + + + +STANFORD. + + + Here lies + the body of Richard Clarke, + who died ---- + Aged -- years, + Who lies here? Who do you think? + Poor old Clarke--give him some drink. + What! dead men drink? The reason why,-- + When he was alive he was always dry. + And four of his children. + + + +LITTLE ILFORD. + + + In Memory of + Smart Leithceulier, Esq. + +A Gentleman of polite literature and elegant taste; an encourager of art +and ingenious artists; a studious promoter of literary inquiries; a +companion and friend of learned men; industriously versed in the science +of antiquity; and richly possessed of the curious productions of Nature: +but who modestly desired no other inscription on his tomb than what he +had made the rule of his life:-- + + "To do justly--to love mercy-- + And to walk humbly with his God." + Born, November 3, 1701. Died without issue. + August 27, 1760. + + + +GREAT COGGESHALL. + + + To the Memory of + Thomas Hanse. + + "Lord, thy grace is free,--why not for me?" + +This man dying greatly in debt, and being a bankrupt, one of his +creditors, being ruined by him, wrote under it:-- + + And the Lord answered and said,-- + "Because thy debts a'nt paid!" + + + +ROXWELL. + + + J. F. Hefeall. + + With long affliction I was sore oppressed, + Till God in goodness kindly gave me rest; + I left my widow'd wife and children dear + To His all gracious, providential care, + Who said do thou alone depend-- + Who am the widow and the orphan's friend. + + + +STONDON. + + + "Who lists to se and knowe himselfe, + May loke upon this glase, + And vew the beaten pathe of dethe, + Which he shall one day passe; + Which way J. Rainford Kellingworth, + With patient mind, have gone,-- + Whose body here, as death hath changed, + Lies covered with this stone; + When dust to dust is brought again, + The earth she hath her owne,-- + This shall the lot of all men be, + Before the trumpe be blowne!" + April 17th, 1575. + + + +WALTHAM ABBEY. + + + To Sir Edward Denny. + + "Learn, curious reader, ere thou pass, + That once Sir Edward Denny was + A courtier of the chamber, + A soldier of the fielde,-- + Whose tongue could never flatter, + Whose heart could never yield!" + + * * * * * + +On a decayed monument in Horndon Church is the following inscription:-- + + "Take, gentle marble, to thy trust, + And keep unmixed this _sacred dust_-- + Grow moist sometimes that I may see + Thou weep'st in sympathy with me; + And when, by him I here shall sleep, + My ashes also safely keep-- + And from rude hands preserve us both, until + We rise to Sion's Mount from Horndon-on-the-Hill." + + * * * * * + + Paul Whitehead, Esq. + Of Twickenham, December, 1774. + + "Unhallow'd hands, this urn forbear, + No gems, nor Orient spoil, + Lie here conceal'd, but what's more rare,-- + A _heart_ that knows no guile!" + + + +STANFORD. + + +On a brass plate in this church is the following inscription:-- + + "Before this tabernaculle lyeth buryed Thomas Greene, some tyme bayle + of this towne, Margaret, and Margaret, his wyves--which Thomas dyed + the 8th day of July, 1535. The which Thomas hath wylled a prest to + syng in this church for the space of 20 years, for hym, his wyves, + his children, and all men's soules. And, moreover, he hath wylled an + obyte, to be kept the 8th day of July, for the term of twenty years, + for the soules aforesaid, and, at every tyme of the said obyte, + bestowed 20s. of good lawful money of England." + + * * * * * + +On the south wall are the following lines, ih memory of Anne, wife of +William Napper, who died in 1584:-- + + In token of whose vertuous lyfe, + And constant sacred love, + And that her memory should remaine, + And never hence remove, + Her husband, in his tyme of lyfe, + This monument did leave his wyfe. + + + +CHIGWELL. + + + This disease you ne'er heard tell on,-- + I died of eating too much mellon; + Be careful, then, all you that feed--I + Suffered because I was too greedy. + + + +LEIGH. + + +Here lies the body of Mary Ellis, daughter of Thomas Ellis, and Lydia, +his wife, of this parish. She was a virgin of virtuous character, and +most promising hopes. She died on the 3rd of June, 1609, aged _one +hundred and nineteen_. + + + +Gloucestershire. + + +MINCHIN HAMPTON. + + + On Anne, daughter of Joseph Baynham, + Died 16th Aug. 1632. + + Shee had not spunn out Thirtie dayes, + but God from paine took her to joyes; + Let none their trust in worldly Bliss, + All youth and age must come to This, + but Manner how, place where, time when, + Is known to God, but not to men; + Watch, Pray, Repent, and sinne forsake, + Lest, unprepared, Death thee should take,-- + Then happy Thou that so shall dye, + To Live with God Eternalye. + + + +RENDCOMBE. + + + In Memory of Robert Berkeley, Esq. who died + Feb ye 2nd, 1690, aged 76 yeares. + And Rebecca, his wife, who died August ye 16th, 1707, + Aged 83. This monument was erected + by their most Dutiful and most obsequious + Daughter, Rebecca Berkeley. + + + +PAINSWICK. + + + My time was come! My days were spent! + I was called--and away I went! ! ! + + + +BRISTOL. + + +On Thos. Turar and Mary, his wife. He was Master of the Company of +Bakers. + + Like to the baker's _oven_ is the grave, + Wherein the bodyes of the faithful have + A setting in, and where they do remain, + In hopes to rise and to be _drawn_ again; + Blessed are they who in the Lord are dead, + Tho' set like _dough_ they shall be drawn like _bread_! + + * * * * * + + Ye witty mortals! as you're passing by, + Remark that near this monument doth lie, + Centered in dust, + Described thus: + Two Husbands, two Wives, + Two Sisters, two Brothers, + Two Fathers, a Son, + Two Daughters, two Mothers, + A Grandfather, a Grandmother, a Granddaughter, + An Uncle, and an Aunt--their Niece follow'd after! + This catalogue of persons mentioned here + Was only five, and all from incest free! + + * * * * * + + I went and 'listed in the Tenth Hussars, + And gallopped with them to the bloody wars; + "Die for your sovereign--for your country die!" + To earn such glory feeling rather shy, + Snug I slipped home. But death soon sent me off, + After a struggle with the hooping cough! + + * * * * * + + Here lies poor Charlotte, + Who died no harlot; + But in her virginity, + Of the age nineteen, + In this vicinity, + Rare to be found or seen. + + + +BERKELEY. + + + Here lies the Earl of Suffolk's fool, + Men call'd him Dicky Pearce, + His folly serv'd to make folks laugh, + When wit and mirth were scarce. + Poor Dick, alas! is dead and gone! + What signifies to cry? + Dickeys enough are still behind, + To laugh at by and by. + Buried 1728. + + + +CIRENCESTER. + + + Our bodies are like shoes, which off we cast,-- + Physic their coblers, and Death their last. + + * * * * * + + Mercye, God of my misdede; + Ladye, help at my most neede; + On a brass plate under theyre feete, + Reye gracious I ha to Endles lyfe at thy grete + dome, where alle Schalle apere, Hughe Norys Groe, and + Johan, hys wyf, now dede in Grave and Buryed here; + Yo P'yers desyringe therre soules for chere, the X + day of July, the yere of oure Lorde God, MDCCCCCXXIX. + +This epitaph appears on a flat stone, with the effigies of a man and +woman. + + * * * * * + + On Two Infants. + + Two lovelier babes ye nare did se + Than God A'mighty gaed to we, + Bus the was o'ertaken we agur (ague) fits, + And hare tha lies as dead as nits! + + + +NORTH CERNEY. + + + Here lieth, ready to start, in full hopes to save his distance, + Timothy Turf, formerly Stud Groom to Sir Mamaduke Match'em, and + Late Keeper of the Racing Stables on Cerney Downs:-- + But + Was beat out of the world on the 1st of April last, by + that inivincible + ROCKINGHAM DEATH. + N.B.--He lived and died an honest man. + + + +CHELTENHAM. + + + "Here lies I and my three daughters, + Killed by a drinking the Cheltenham waters; + If we had stuck to Epsom salts, + We'd not been a lying in these here vaults." + + + +MINCHIN HAMPTON. + + + To the Memory of Jeremiah Buck, Esq. died 1653. + + J Intomb'd here lies a pillar of the State,-- + E Each good man's friend, to th' Poor compassionate, + R Religion's patron, just men's sure defence, + E Evil men's terror, guard of innocence; + M Matchless for virtues which still shine most bright, + I Impartially to all he gave their right; + A Alas! that few to heart do truly lay, + H How righteous men from earth depart away. + + B By's death we loose, but he much gain acquires, + V Vnto his body rest: His soul aspires + C Celestial mansions where he, God on high, + K Knows and enjoys to all eternity. + + + +TEWKESBURY. + + + On Eleanor Freeman, aet. 21. + + A Virgin blossom, in her May + Of youth and virtues, turned to clay,-- + Rich earth, accomplish'd with those graces, + That adorn saints in heavenly places; + Let not death boast his conquering power, + She'll rise a star that fell a flower. + + + +THORNBURY. + + + Thomas Tyndale dyed the 28th of April, buried 31 May, 1571. + + Ye see how death doth Spare no age nor Kynd, + How I am lapt in Claye and dead you fynde, + My Wife and Children lye here with me, + No Gould, no friend, no strength, could ransome bee, + The end of Vayne delighte and Ill Intente, + The End of Care and Matter to repent, + The End of faere for frynd and Worldly Wo, + By Death we have; and of lyke thousand mo, + And Death of Tymes in us hath made an End, + So that nothing can ower Estate amend. + Who would not be Content such Change to make + For worldly things Eternal Life to take. + + + +RODMARTON. + + + On a brass plate, let into the stone, is the following:-- + Johns Yate Lond. ex Vico Basing Lane Naroec Aldermar. + Renatus 28 Iulii 1594. Coll. Em Cantab Olim Soc. + S. Th. B. + Inductus in hanc Eccl. vespijs Dominicae in Albis 1628 + Mortalitatem exvit die 10 Jan Anno Doni 1668. + Nodvs Iob rediens vt venerat ecce recessit + Rodmerton, quondam qui tibi pastor erat. + Is, qvia, qvae solitvs neqvit ex ambone monere + Clamat et e tumvlo praedicat ista svo. + Mors tva, mors Christi, fravs mondi, gloria coeli + Et dolor inferni, svnt meditata tibi. + Trvst not the world remember deth, + And often think of Hell: + Think often on the great reward + For those that do live well. + Repent, amend, then trvst in Christ, + So thov in peace shalt dy;-- + And rest in bliss, and rise with Ioy + And raine eternally. + + * * * * * + +Engraved on the Coffin of Mr. Pitcher, a noted Ale-house keeper in +Gloucestershire. + + Stop mourning friends and shed a grateful tear + Upon thy once loved Pitcher's moving bier, + He quits this world without regret or railing, + Life's full of pain--he always has been aleing. + Resigned he fell contented with his lot, + Convinced all Pitchers soon must go to Pot. + + + +BEVERSTONE. + + + In memory of Katherine Purye, who died Dec. 1, 1604. + Ao 1604. + Dece 1. AEtat. 67. + Quae defuncta jacet saxo tumulata sub illo + Bis Cathara, haud ficto nomine, dicta fuit. + Nomen utrumque sonat mundam, puramque piamq + Et vere nomen quod referebat, erat, + Nam puram puro degebat pectore vitam, + Pura fuit mundo, nunc mage pura Deo.-- + [Greek text] + Omnia pura puris, + Tit. 1. ver. 15. + + She whom this stone doth quietly immure + In no feign'd way had twice the name of _Pure_: + Pure, pious, clean, each name did signify, + And truly was she what those names imply; + For in pure paths, while yet she lived, she trod; + Pure was she in this world, and now more pure with God. + + + +TETBURY. + + + In a vault underneath lie interred several of the Saunderses, late of + this parish, particulars the last day will disclose.--Amen. + + + +ALMONDBURY. + + + Here lies alas! long to be lamented, Benjamin Dobbins, Gent., who + left his Friends sorrowing. Feb. 2, 1760. Aged 42. + + + +Hampshire. + + +WINCHESTER. + + + Here sleeps in peace a Hampshire grenadier, + Who caught his death by drinking cold small beer; + Soldiers beware, from his untimely fall, + And, when your'e hot, drink strong, or none at all. + + * * * * * + + "Severely afflicted--, yet, when most depressed, + Resigned, he endured it as all for the best, + Praised God for his goodness, both present and past; + He yielded his spirit in peace at the last. + + "Let friend forbear to mourn and weep, + While in the dust I sweetly sleep; + This frailsome world I left behind, + A crown of glory for to find. + + "While in this world I did remain, + My latter days was grief and pain; + But, when the Lord He thought it best, + He took me into a place of rest." + + + +FRESHWATER. + + + Joseph Robins, Jany. 21, 1811. + + The blustering Winds and raging sea + Have tossed me to and fro + Tho' some have found their watery Grave, + I am Anchored here below; + Thus, at an Anchor safe I lie, + With the surrounding Fleet, + And hope one day we shall set sail, + Our Saviour Christ to meet; + My change I hope is for the best,-- + To live with Christ and be at rest. + + + +MONKS SHERBORN. + + + William Cullum, d. 1841, aged 20. + + Weep not for me, my tender parents dear, + Taken from your care in early years; + Oh! grieve not, the LORD'S will be done,-- + Your dutiful and affectionate son. + + + +BINSTED. + + + On Hannah, wife of Jeremiah Soffe, died 1832. + + When I am dead and in my Grave, + And all my Bones are Rotten. + This when you see, Remember me, + Or lest I should be forgotten. + + + +WHIPPINGHAM, ISLE OF WIGHT. + + + Thomas Burnett. + 1842. + + At midnight he was called away + From his employment on the sea,-- + Altho' his warning was but short, + We hope he's reached the heavenly port. + + + +ALRESFORD. + + + On an Exciseman. + + No Supervisor's check he fears, + Now, no commissioner obeys; + He's free from cares, entreaties, tears, + And all the heavenly orb surveys. + + + +ST. LAWRENCE, ISLE OF WIGHT. + + + To the Memory of Robert Dyer, who was drowned, + Aged 19. + + Ah! cruel death that would not spare + A loving husband was so dear; + This world he left, and me behind, + The world to try, and friends to find. + + * * * * * + + Christ our Saviour is above, + And him we hope to see-- + And all our friends that are behind + Will soon come after we. + + + +WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL CHURCHYARD. + + + This Stone + was erected by the + Brethren + of Lodge CXI. of + Free and accepted + Masons, + As a token of respect + for their departed + Brother, + Jonathan Triggs, + who received a + Summons + From the Great Architect + Of the Universe, + At the hour of High Twelve, + on the 24 day of October. + A.L. 5819. + A.D. 1819. + Aged 38 years. + + + +CARISBROOKE. + + + On a Loving Couple. + + Of life he had the better slice, + They lived at once, and died at twice, + + + +Herefordshire. + + +HEREFORD. + + + A virtuous woman is 5_s._ 0_d._ {48} to her husband. + + * * * * * + + Here a lovely youth doth lie, + Which by accident did die; + His precious breath was forced to yield, + For by a waggon he was killed! + + * * * * * + + Alas! no more I could survive, + For I is dead and not alive; + And thou and time no longer shalt survive, + But be as dead as any man alive. + + + +Hertfordshire. + + +AMWELL. + + + That which a Being was--what is it? Show + That Being which it was, it is not now; + To be what 'tis, is not to be, you see,-- + That which now is not, shall a Being be. + + + +ST. ALBANS. + + + Hic jacet Tom Shorthose,-- + Sine tomba, sine sheet, sine riches; + Quid vixit,--sine gowne, + Sine cloake, sine shirt, sine breeches. + + * * * * * + + The Dame, who lies interred within this tomb, + Had Rachel's charms, and Leah's fruitful womb, + Ruth's filial love, and Lydia's faithful heart, + Martha's just care, and Mary's better part. + + * * * * * + +A comparison of the virtues of the deceased and those of Scripture +characters is found on a monument of Sir Charles Caesar at Bennington, +Herts:-- + +Nathaniel Daniel Jonathan Uzzita Josephus +Simplicitate Toro Pectore Prole Thoro + + * * * * * + + Beneath this stone, where now your eye you fix, + Ann Harris lies, who died in sixty-six; + John Harris after her his exit made + In eighty-two, and now is with her laid. + + * * * * * + + "Sacred to the memory of Miss Martha Gwynn, + Who was so very pure within, + She burst the outer shell of sin, + And hatched HERSELF A CHERUBIM." + + + +HODDESDON. + + + Captain Henry Graves, died 17th Aug. 1702, + Aged 52 years. + + Here, in one Grave, more than one Grave lies-- + Envious Death at last hath gained his prize; + No pills or potions could make Death tarry, + Resolved he was to fetch away Old Harry. + Ye foolish doctors, could you all miscarry? + Great were his actions on the boisterous waves, + Resistless seas could never conquer Graves. + Ah! Colchester, lament his overthow, + Unhappily, you lost him at a blow; + Each marine hero for him shed a tear, + St. Margaret's, too, in this must have a share. + + + +HERTFORD. + + + WOMAN. + + "Grieve not for me, my husband dear, + I am not dead, but sleepeth here; + With patience wait, prepare to die, + And in a short time you'll come to I." + + MAN. + + "I am not grieved, my dearest life; + Sleep on,--I have got another wife; + Therefore, I cannot come to thee, + For I must go and live with she." + + + +ALDENHAM. + + + John Robinson. + + Death parts the dearest Lovers for awhile, + And makes them mourn, who only used to smile, + But after Death our unmixt loves shall tie + Eternal knots betwixt my dear and I. + + + +Huntingdonshire. + + +BLUNTISHAM. + + + On a Wrestler. + + Here lyes the Conqueror conquered, + Valient as ever England bred; + Whom neither art, nor steel, nor strength, + Could e'er subdue, till death at length + Threw him on his back, and here he lyes, + In hopes hereafter to arise. + + + +Kent. + + +CRAYFORD. + + + Here lieth the body of Peter Isnel (30 years clerk of this parish.) + + He lived respected as a pious and mirthful man, and died on his way + to church, to assist at a wedding, on the 31st day of March, 1811, + aged 70 years. The inhabitants of Crayford have raised this stone to + his cheerful memory, and as a tribute to his long and faithful + service. + + The life of this clerk was just three score and ten, + Nearly half of which time he had sung out _Amen_! + In his youth he was married, like other young men, + But his wife died one day, so he chanted _Amen_! + A second he took--she departed--what then? + He married and buried a third with _Amen_; + Thus, his joys and his sorrows were treble, but then + His voice was deep bass as he sung out _Amen_! + On the horn he could blow as well as most men, + So his horn was exalted in blowing _Amen_; + But he lost all his wind after three score and ten, + And now, with three wives, he waits, till again + The trumpet shall rouse him to sing out _Amen_! + + + +SNODLAND. + + + Palmers al our faders were,-- + I, a Palmer, lived here, + And travylled till, worne with age, + I endyd this world's pylgrymage + On the blyst Assention-day, + In the cheerful month of May, + A thousand with foure hundryd seven, + And took my jorney hense to Heven! + + + +SANDWICH. + + + To Thomas, son of Thomas Danson, late a Preacher + in this town. Born Oct. 23, 1668; died Oct. 23, 1674. + + Upon October's three and twentieth day + The world began, (as learned Annals say,) + That was this child's birthday, on which he died, + The world's end may in his be typified: + Oh! happy little world, whose work is done + Before the greater, and his rest begun. + + + +WOOLWICH. + + +Several years since, an inhabitant of Woolwich died, leaving a +testamentary order that his tombstone should be inscribed with the +well-known lines:-- + + Youthful reader, passing by, + As you are now, so once was I, + As I am now, so you must be, + Therefore prepare to follow me. + +The widow of the deceased, who did not honour her lord more than the +ordinary run of wives, obeyed her late husband's injunctions, but added a +postscript of her own composition-- + + To follow you I am not content, + Until I know which way you went. + + + +FRINDSBURY. + + + On Mrs. Lee and her son Tom. + + In her life she did her best, + Now, I hope her soul's at rest; + Also her son Tom lies at her feet, + He liv'd till he made both ends meet. + + + +FOLKESTONE. + + + Sixteen years a Maiden, + One twelve Months a Wife, + One half hour a Mother, + And then I lost my Life. + + + +ROCHESTER. + + + Though young she was, + Her youth could not withstand, + Nor her protect from Death's + Impartial hand. + Like a cobweb, be we e'er so gay, + And death a broom, + That sweeps us all away. + + + +MAIDSTONE. + + + "Stop ringers all and cast an eye, + You in your glory, so once was I, + What I have been, as you may see, + Which now is in the belfree." + + * * * * * + + "God takes the good too good on earth to stay, + And leaves the bad too bad to take away." + +The person was very aged on whose tomb-stone the above was written! + + +LEE. + + +In the village churchyard, near the Castle, is a rather singular +inscription upon a gravestone, which was put up by the deceased during +his life-time; and when first placed there, had blanks, for inserting his +age and the time of his death. These blanks have long since been filled +up, and the whole now reads as follows:-- + + "In memory of James Barham, of this parish, who departed this life + Jan. 14, 1818, aged 93 years; and who from the year 1774, to the year + 1804, rung, in Kent and elsewhere, 112 peals, not less than 5,040 + changes in each peal, & called bobs, &c. for most of the peals; & + April 7th & 8th, 1761, assisted in ringing 40,320 bob-majors on + Leeds-bells, in 27 hours." + + + +BOBBING. + + + God gave me at Kinardington in Kent, + My native breath, which now alas is spent, + My parents gave me Tylden Smith for name, + I to the Park farm in this Parish came; + And there for many ling'ring years did dwell, + Whilst my good neighbours did respect me well. + But now my friends, I go by Nature's call, + In humble hopes my crimes will measure small. + Years following years steal something every day, + And lastly steal us from ourselves away. + Life's span forbids us to extend our cares, + And stretch our hopes beyond our fleeting years. + Mary Farminger, my wife, from East Marsh place, + Lies mouldering here like me, in hopes of grace. + + * * * * * + +The following Epitaph is to be found in the parish church of Ightham, +erected to Mrs. Selby of the Mote House, Ightham, who was a beautiful +worker of Tapestry, whose death is said to have been caused from her +pricking her finger when working one Sunday. There is a marble figure of +her, holding a steel needle in her hand, and underneath is the following +inscription:-- + + She was a Dorcas, + Whose Curious needle turned the abused stage + Of this lov'd world, into the goldenage, + Whose pen of steele, and silken inck unroll'd + The acts of Jonah in records of gold, + Whose art disclosed that Plot, which had it taken, + Rome had tryumphed, and Britains wall had shaken. + She Was + In heart a Lydia, and in tongue a Hanna, + In zeale a Ruth, in wedlock a Susanna, + Prudently simple, providently wary, + To the world a Martha, and to Heaven a Mary. + Died 1641 + + + +STAPLEHURST. + + + Here lyeth the Body of Mary the daughter of Wm Maiss & Mary his Wife, + who died Sept. 9, 1703, aged 22 years. + + Here lyes a piece of Heaven, t'others above, + Which shortly goes up to the World of Love, + The Brightest Sweetest Angels must convey + This spotless Virgin on the starry way; + That glittering _quire_ sings but a lisping song, + Till she appears amidst the shining throng. + + + +SANDWICH. + + + Robert Needler. + + My resting road is found + Vain hope and hap adieu, + Love whom you list + Death hath me rid from you. + The Lord did me from _London_ bring, + To lay my body close herein. + I was my father's only heir, + And the first my mother bare. + But before one year was spent + The Lord his messenger for me sent. + + + +FOLKESTONE. + + + Rebecca Rogers. + + A house she hath it's made of such good fashion, + The tenant ne'er shall pay for reparation; + Nor will her landlord ever raise her Rent, + Or turn her out of doors for non-payment; + From chimney money too this Cell is free, + To such a house who would not tenant be. + + * * * * * + + Henry Jeffry, leaving 8 children. + + A faithful friend, a father dear, + A loving husband lieth here; + My time is past, my glass is run, + My children dear, prepare to come. + + + +ELTHAM. + + + My wife lies here beneath + Alas! from me she's flown, + She was so good, that Death + Would have her for his own. + + + +Lancashire. + + +LIVERPOOL. + + + On John Scott, a Brewer. + + Poor John Scott lies buried here, + Tho' one he was both _stout_ and _hale_, + Death stretched him on this _bitter bier_, + In another world he _hops_ about. + + + +MANCHESTER. + + + My death did come to pass, + Thro' sitting on the derty grass; + Here I lie where I fell, + If you seek my soul go to Hell. + + * * * * * + + On a profligate Mathematician. + + Here lies John Hill, + A man of skill, + His age was five times ten: + He ne'er did good, + Nor ever would, + Had he lived as long again. + + + +SOUTHWORTH. + + + The world is full of crooked streets, + Death is a place where all men meets, + If life were sold, that men might buy, + The rich would live, the poor must die. + + + +OLDHAM. + + + On Paul Fuller and Peter Potter, buried near each + other. + + 'Tis held by Peter and by Paul, + That when we fill our graves or urns, + Ashes to ashes crumbling fall, + And dust to dust once more returns. + So here a truth unmeant for mirth, + Appears in monumental lay; + Paul's grave is filled with Fuller's earth, + And Peter's crammed with Potter's clay. + + + +ROCHDALE. + + + Tim's Bobbin's Grave. + + "Here lies John and with him Mary, + Cheek by jowl and nevery vary; + No wonder they so well agree, + Tim wants no punch, and Moll no tea." + + + +Leicestershire. + + +In Nichols's history of Leicestershire, is inserted the following +Epitaph, to the memory of Theophilus Cave, who was buried in the chancel +of the Church of Barrow-on-Soar:-- + + "Here in this Grave there lies a Cave, + We call a Cave a Grave; + If Cave be Grave, and Grave be Cave, + Then reader, judge, I crave, + Whether doth Cave here lie in Grave, + Or Grave here lie in Cave: + If Grave in Cave here buried lie, + Then Grave where is thy victory? + Go, reader, and report here lies a Cave, + Who conquers death, and buyes his own Cave." + + + +MELTON MOWBRAY. + + + The world's an Inn, and I her guest: + I've eat and drank and took my rest, + With her awhile, and now I pay + Her lavish bill and go my way. + + + +BARKBY. + + + Francis Fox, vicar, died 1662. + + My debt to Death is paid unto a sand, + And pay thou must, that there doth reading stand; + And am laid down to sleep, till Christ from high + Shall raise me, although grim Death stand by. + + + +HARBY. + + + Mary Hill, died 1784. + + With pain and sickness wasted to a bone, + Long time to gracious Heaven I made my moan; + Then God at length to my complaint gave ear, + And sent kind Death to ease my pain and care. + Physicians could no longer save the life + Of a tender mother and a loving wife. + + + +Lincolnshire. + + +The following quaint memorials of the unhonoured dead, are by the +minister of the small and retired village of Waddingham. They have, at +all events, the charm of originality, and were long ago inscribed in that +quiet nook, where "many a holy text around is strewn, teaching the rustic +moralist to die." + + In love we liv'd, in peace did part, + All tho it cot us to the heart. + O dear--what thoughts whe two had + To get for our 12 Children Bread; + Lord! send her health them to maintain:-- + I hope to meet my love again. + + * * * * * + + O angry death yt would not be deny'd, + But break ye bonds of love so firmly ty'd! + She was a loving wife, a tender nurse, + And a faithful friend in every case. + + + +SLEAFORD. + + + On Henry Fox, a weaver. + + Of tender threads this mortal web is made, + The woof and warf, and colours early fade; + When pow'r divine awakes the sleeping dust, + He gives immortal garments to the just. + + * * * * * + +On the south side of the Sleaford Church, sculptured in the cornice of +the water-table, is the following inscription:-- + + Here lyeth William Harebeter, and Elizabeth, his wife. + Cryest ihu graunte yem everlastyng lyfe. + +It is noticed in Gough's great work on Sepulchral Monuments, where, +speaking of inscriptions cut on the ledges of stones, or raising them in +high relief, he says, "Of this kind on public buildings, I know not a +finer sample than in the water-table, on the south side of Sleaford +Church." + + * * * * * + + On William Gibson. + + Who lies here?--Who do you think? + 'Tis poor WILL GIBSON,--give him some drink; + Give him some drink, I'll tell you why, + When he was living, he always was dry. + + + +WAINFLEET. + + +Peck has given from the Palmer MS. the following Epitaph, than which +nothing can be more pompous or ridiculous:-- + + On a monument erected in 1735. + + Near this place, + lye the remains + of Edward Barkham, Esq. + Who in his life time at his own expense + Erected the stately altar piece in this church; + Furnished the communion table + With a very rich crimson velvet carpet, + a cushion of the same, and a beautiful Common Prayer + book; + Likewise with two large flagons, + a chalice with a cover, together with a paten, + All of silver plate. + But above all (& what may very justly + preserve his name to latest posterity) + he gave and devised by will + To the curate of Wainfleet St. Mary's and his successor + for ever + The sum of 35 pounds. per ann. (over and above his former + salary) + with this clause, viz. + 'provided the said curate and his successors + do and shall read prayers and preach + once every Sunday in the year for ever.' + So extraordinary an instance of securing a veneration + for the most awful part of our religion, + And so rare and uncommon a zeal + For promoting God's worship every Lord's Day. + + + +RAUCEBY. + + + Near this place are interred the wives of Richard Jessap; + viz.--Alice, on Sept. 27, 1716, aged 25, and Joanna, on Aug. 31, + 1720, aged 29. + + How soon ye objects of my love + By death were snatcht from me; + Two loving matrons they did prove, + No better could there be. + One child the first left to my care, + The other left me three. + Joanna was beyond compare, + A phoenix rare was she; + Heaven thought her sure too good to stay + A longer time on earth, + In childbed therefore as she lay, + To God resign'd her breath. + + + +LINCOLN. + + + Here lyeth the body of + Michael Honeywood, D.D. + Who was grandchild, and one of the + Three hundred and sixty-seven persons, + That Mary the wife of Robert Honeywood, Esq. + Did see before she died, + Lawfully descended from her, + viz. + Sixteen of her own body, 114 grand children, + 288 of the third generation, and 9 of the fourth. + Mrs. Honeywood + Died in the year 1605, + And in the 78th year of her age. + + + +GRANTHAM. + + + John Palfreyman, who is buried here, + Was aged four & twenty year; + And near this place his mother lies; + Likewise his father, when he dies. + + + +ISELTON CUM FENBY. + + + Here Lies the body of Old Will Loveland, + He's put to bed with a shovel, and + Eased of expenses for raiment and food, + Which all his life-time he would fain have eschewed. + He grudged his housekeeping his children's support, + And laid in his meat of the cagge-mag sort. + No fyshe or fowle touched he when t'was dearly Bought, + But a Green taile or herrings a score for a groate. + No friend to the needy + His wealth gather'd speedy, + And he never did naught but evil, + He liv'd like a hogg, + He died like a dogg, + And now he rides post to the devil. + + + +STAMFORD. + + + In remembrance of that prodigy of nature, Daniel Lambert, a native of + Leicester, who was possessed of an excellent and convivial mind, and + in personal greatness he had no competitor. He measured three feet + one inch round the leg; nine feet four inches round the body, and + weighed 52 stone 11 lb. (14 lb. to the stone.) He departed this life + on the 21st of June 1809, aged 39 years. As a testimony of respect, + this Stone is erected by his friends in Leicester. + + + +Middlesex. + + +STEPNEY. + + + On Mary Angel. + + To say an angel here interr'd doth lye, + May be thought strange, for angels never dye; + Indeed some fell from heav'n to hell; + Are lost and rise no more; + This only fell from death to earth, + Not lost, but gone before; + Her dust lodg'd here, her soul perfect in grace, + Among saints and angels now hath took its place. + + * * * * * + + On Daniel Saul. + + Here lies the body of Daniel Saul, + Spitalfield's weaver--and that's all. + + * * * * * + + William Wheatly. + + Whoever treadeth on this stone, + I pray you tread most neatly; + For underneath the same doth lie + Your honest friend, Will Wheatly. + + + +WESTMINSTER ABBEY. + + + (In the Abbey.) + + Beneath this stone there lies a scull, + Which when it breath'd was wondrous droll; + But now 'tis dead and doom'd to rot, + This scull's as wise, pray is it not? + As Shakspear's, Newton's, Prior's, Gay's, + The Wits, the sages of their days. + + * * * * * + + On John Ellis. + + Life is certain, Death is sure, + Sin's the wound, and Christ's the cure. + + * * * * * + + On Admiral Blake, + Who died in August, 1657. + + Here lies a man made Spain and Holland shake, + Made France to tremble, and the Turks to quake; + Thus he tam'd men, but if a lady stood + In 's sight, it rais'd a palsy in his blood; + Cupid's antagonist, who on his life + Had fortune as familiar as a wife. + A stiff, hard, iron soldier, for he + It seems had more of Mars than Mercury; + At sea he thunder'd, calm'd each rising wave, + And now he's dead sent thundering to his grave. + + * * * * * + + In Parliament, a Burgess Cole was placed, + In Westminster the like for many Years, + But now with Saints above his Soul is graced, + And lives a Burgess with Heav'n's Royal Peers. + + + +HAMPSTEAD. + + + Underneath where as you see, + There lies the body of Simon Tree. + + + +ST. BENNET, PAUL'S WHARF. + + + Here lies one More, and no More than he, + One More, and no More! how can that be? + Why one More and no More may well lie here alone, + But here lies one More, and that's More than one. + + + +ST. LAWRENCE JEWRY. + + + On William Bird. + + One charming Bird to Paradise is flown, + Yet are we not of comfort quite bereft: + Since one of this fair brood is still our own, + And still to cheer our drooping souls is left. + This stays with us while that his flight doth take, + That earth and skies may one sweet concert make. + + + +ST. ANDREW'S. + + + On Walter Good. + + A thing here singular this doth unfold, + Name and nature due proportion hold; + In real goodness who did live his days, + He cannot fail to die well, to his praise. + + + +ST. GILES, CRIPPLEGATE. + + + On Gervase Aire. + + Under this marble fair, + Lies the body entomb'd of Gervase Aire: + He dyd not of an ague fit, + Nor surfeited by too much wit, + Methinks this was a wondrous death, + That Aire should die for want of breath. + + + +ST. PAUL'S CATHEDRAL. + + + On Sir Henry Croft. + + Six lines this image shall delineate:-- + High Croft, high borne, in spirit & in virtue high, + Approv'd, belov'd, a Knight, stout Mars his mate, + Love's fire, war's flame, in heart, head, hand, & eye; + Which flame war's comet, grace, now so refines, + That pined in Heaven, in Heaven and Earth it shines. + + + +HENDON. + + + Poor Ralph lies beneath this roof, and sure he must be blest, + For though he could do nothing, he meant to do the best, + Think of your soules, ye guilty throng, + Who, knowing what is right, do wrong. + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Sand. + + Who would live by others' breath? + Fame deceives the dead man's trust. + Even our names much change by death, + Sand I was, but now am Dust. + + * * * * * + + On Robert Thomas Crosfield, M.D. 1802, written by himself. + + Beneath this stone Tom Crosfield lies, + Who cares not now who laughs or cries; + He laughed when sober, and, when mellow, + Was a harum scarum heedless fellow; + He gave to none design'd offence; + So "Honi soit qui mal y pense!" + + + +EDMONTON. + + +In the churchyard on a headstone now removed, was the following +inscription to William Newberry, who was hostler to an inn & died 1695, +in consequence of having taken improper medicine given him by a fellow +servant. + + Hic jacet-Newberry Will + Vitam finivit-cum Cochioe Pill + Quis administravit-Bellamy Sue + Quantum quantitat-nescio, scisne tu? + Ne sutor ultra crepidam. + + + +LAMBETH. + + + R. Brigham. + + The Father, Mother, Daughter, in one Grave, + Lye slumbering here beneath the marble Stone; + Three, one in Love, in Tomb, in hope to have + A joyful sight of him that's Three in One. + + + +HILLINGDON. + + + On Stephen King. + + Farewell, vain world, I knew enough of thee, + And now am careless what thou say'st of me, + Thy smiles I court not, nor thy frowns I fear, + My soul's at rest, my head lies quiet here. + What faults you see in me, take care to shun, + And look at home, enough's there to be done. + + + +ISLINGTON. + + + TRANSCRIPT OF AN INSCRIPTION + + With the abbreviations and spelling, as it was taken from + the plate itself, June 28th, 1751. + + I pye the Crysten man that hast goe to see this: + to pye for the soulls of them that here buryed is | + And remember that in Cryst we be bretherne: + the wich hath comaundid eu'ry man to py for other | + This sayth _Robert Midleton & Johan_ his Wyf. + Here wrappid in clay. Abiding the mercy | + Of Almyghty god till domesdaye. + Wych was sutyme s'unt to s' gorge hasting knyght | + Erle of huntingdunt passid this tnscitory lyf, + in the yere of our Lord god m cccc...... | + And the......day of the moneth of ...... + On whose soull Almyghty god have m'cy amen | + + "This Inscription (says a writer in _The Gentleman's Magazine_, for + 1751) was in _Gothic_ letters, on a plate of brass, in the middle + aisle, on the floor near the entrance into the chancel. It contains + six lines, the end of each is marked thus |; and it appears to have + been laid down in the life-time of _Robert Midleton_, because neither + the year, day, nor month are set down, but spaces left for that + purpose. I observe, that the inhabitants of Islington want to make + their church older than I presume it is, and quote this inscription + as it is in _Strype_, 1401, in support of that notion, when it is + plain 1500, and is all that it says; and Sir G. Hastings was not + created Earl of _Huntingdon_ till the 8th of December, 1529, so that + this inscription must be wrote after that time. The oldest date that + appears anywhere about the church, is at the south-east corner of the + steeple, and was not visible till the west gallery was pulled down, + it is 1483; but as these figures are of a modern shape, it looks as + if it was done in the last century; the old way of making these + characters was in _Arabic_, and not as they are now generally made." + + * * * * * + + She's gone: so, reader, must you go. But where? + + * * * * * + + On Lady Molesworth. + + A peerless matron, pride of female life, + In every state, as widow, maid, or wife; + Who, wedded to threescore, preserv'd her fame, + She lived a phoenix, and expired in flame. + + + +ST. AUGUSTIN'S CHURCH. + + + William Lamb. + + O Lamb of God which Sin didst take away, + And as a Lamb was offered up for Sin. + Where I poor Lamb went from thy Flock astray, + Yet thou, O Lord, vouchsafe thy Lamb to Winn + Home to thy flock, and hold thy Lamb therein, + That at the Day when Lambs and Goats shall sever, + Of thy choice Lambs, Lamb may be one for ever. + + + +TEMPLE CHURCH. + + + Mary Gaudy, Aged 22, 1671. + + This fair young Virgin for a nuptial Bed + More fit, is lodg'd (sad fate!) among the Dead, + Storm'd by rough Winds, so falls in all her pride, + The full blown rose design'd t' adorn a Bride. + + + +KENSINGTON. + + + Here are deposited the remains of Mrs. Ann Floyer, the beloved wife + of Mr. Rd Floyer, of Thistle Grove, in this parish, died on Thursday, + the 8th of May, /23. God hath chosen her as a pattern for the other + angels. + + + +TEMPLE CHURCH. + + + Keep well this pawn, thou marble chest, + Till it be called for, let it rest; + For while this jewel here is set, + The grave is but a cabinet. + + + +STEPNEY. + + + My wife she's dead, and here she lies, + There's nobody laughs, and nobody cries; + Where she's gone, and how she fares, + Nobody knows, and nobody cares. + + + +ST. DUNSTAN. + + + Here lies Dame Dorothy Peg, + Who never had issue except in her leg, + So great was her art, and so deep was her cunning, + Whilst one leg stood still the other kept running. + + + +CHISWICK. + + +The illustrious Hogarth is buried in this churchyard, and the following +lines, by David Garrick, are inscribed on his tomb:-- + + Farewell! great painter of mankind, + Who reached the noblest point of art, + Whose pictur'd morals charm the mind, + And through the eye correct the heart. + If genius fire thee, reader stay, + If nature move thee, drop a tear, + If neither touch thee, turn away, + For Hogarth's _honour'd dust_ lies here. + + + +ST. MICHAEL'S, CROOKED LANE, + + + Here lyeth, wrapt in clay, + The body of William Wray; + I have no more to say. + + + +ST. ANNE'S, SOHO. + + + On Theodore, King of Corsica, written by Horace Walpole. + + Near this place is interred. + Theodore, King of Corsica, + Who died in this parish Dec. 11, 1756, + Immediately after leaving the King's Bench prison, + By the benefit of the Act of Insolvency, + In consequence of which he resigned + His Kingdom of Corsica + For the use of his creditors. + + The grave great teacher to a level brings + Heroes and beggars, galley slaves and kings, + But Theodore this moral learn'd ere dead, + Fate pour'd its lessons on his living head, + Bestowed a kingdom and denied him bread. + + + +Monmouthshire. + + +CHEPSTOW. + + + Here or elsewhere (all's one to you or me), + Earth, air, or water, gripes my ghostly dust, + None knows how soon to be by fire set free; + Reader, if you an old try'd rule will trust, + You'll gladly do and suffer what you must. + My time was spent in serving you and you. + And death's my pay, it seems, and welcome too. + Revenge destroying but itself, while I + To birds of prey leave my old cage and fly; + Examples preach to the eye--care then (mine says) + Not how you end, but how you spend your days. + + * * * * * + + For thirty years secluded from mankind, + Here Marten lingered. Often have these walls + Echoed his footsteps, as with even tread + He paced around his prison. Not to him + Did Nature's fair varieties exist, + He never saw the sun's delightful beams, + Save when through yon high bars he poured + A sad and broken splendour. + + * * * * * + +In the passage leading from the nave to the north aisle in this church, +is interred the body of Henry Marten, one of the Judges who presided at +the trial of Charles 1st with the following Epitaph over him, written by +himself:-- + + Here Sept. 9th 1680, + was buried + A true born Englishman. + Who, in Berkshire was well known + To love his country's freedom like his own, + But being immured full twenty years, + Had time to write as doth appear. + + + +MATHERN. + + + John Lee is dead, that good old man, + You ne'er will see him more, + He used to wear an old brown Coat, + All buttoned down before. + + * * * * * + + Here lyeth entombed the body of Theodoric, King of Morganuch, or + Glamorgan, commonly called St. Theodoric, and accounted a martyr, + because he was slain in a battle against the Saxons (being then + Pagans) and in defence of the Christian religion. The battle was + fought at Tynterne, where he obtained a great victory. He died here, + being on his way homewards, three days after the battle; having taken + order with Maurice his son, who succeeded him in the kingdom, that in + the same place he should happen to decease, a church should be built + and his body buried in the same, which was accordingly performed in + the year 600. + + + +Norfolk. + + +HOTHILL. + + + Miles Branthwaite. + + If Death would take an answer, he was free + From all those seats of ills that he did see, + And gave no measure that he would not have + Given to him as hardly as he gave: + Then thou, Miles Branthwaite, might have answer'd Death, + And to be so moral might boyle breath, + Thou wast not yet to die. But be thou blest, + From weary life thou art gone quiet to rest, + Joy in the freedom from a prison, thou + Wast by God's hands pluckt out but now, + Free from the dust and cobwebs of this vale; + And richer art thou by the heavenly bail + Than he that shut thee up. This heap of stones + To thy remembrance, and to chest thy bones, + Thy wife doth consecrate; so sleep till then, + When all graves must open, all yield up their men. + + + +NORWICH. + + + Thomas Legge. + + That love that living made us two but one, + Wishes at last we both may have this tomb. + The head of Gostlin still continues here, + As kept for Legge, to whom it was so dear. + By death he lives, for ever to remain, + And Gostlin hopes to meet him once again. + + * * * * * + + Sarah York this life did resigne + On May the 13th, 79. + + * * * * * + + Here lies the body of honest Tom Page, + Who died in the 33rd year of his age. + + * * * * * + +On Bryant Lewis, who was barbarously murdered upon the heath near +Thetford, Sept. 13, 1698. + + Fifteen wide wounds this stone veils from thine eyes, + But reader, hark their voice doth pierce the skies. + Vengeance, cried Abel's blood against cursed Cain, + But better things spake Christ when he was slain. + Both, both, cries Lewis 'gainst his barbarous foes, + Blood, Lord, for blood, but save his soul from woe, + + * * * * * + + John Powl. + + Though Death hath seized on me as his prey, + Yet all must know we have a judgment day, + Therefore whilst life on earth in you remain, + Praise all your God who doth your lives maintain, + That after death to glory he may us raise, + Yield to His Majesty honour, laud, and praise. + + * * * * * + + Henry Hall. + + The phoenix of his time + Lies here but sordid clay; + His thoughts were most sublime; + His soul is sprung away. + Then let this grave keep in protection + His ashes until the resurrection, + + * * * * * + + Urith Leverington. + + The night is come; for sleep, lo! here I stay, + My three sweet babes sleep here--we wait for day. + That we may rise, and up to bliss ascend, + Where crowns and thrones, and robes shall us attend. + Thy worst is past, O Death; thous't done thy part, + Thou could'st but kill, we fear no second dart. + + + +SWANTON MORLEY. + + + Thos Heming--Attorney. + + Weep, widows, orphans; all your late support, + Himself is summon'd to a higher court: + Living he pleaded yours, but with this clause, + That Christ at death should only plead his cause. + + + +COYSTWICK. + + + Mrs. Sarah Mills, + Mrs. Rebecca Ward. + + Under this stone, in easy slumber lies + Two dusty bodies, that at last shall rise: + Their parted atoms shall again rejoin, + Be cast into new moulds by hands divine. + + + +HENNINGHALL. + + + John Kett. + + Though we did live so many years, + Prepare, O youth, for Death, + For if he should at noon appear, + You must give up your breath. + + + +HADDISCOE. + + + William Salter. + + Here lies Will Salter, honest man, + Deny it, Envy, if you can; + True to his business and his trust, + Always punctual, always just; + His horses, could they speak, would tell + They loved their good old master well. + His up-hill work is chiefly done, + His stage is ended, race is run; + One journey is remaining still, + To climb up Sion's holy hill. + And now his faults are all forgiven, + Elijah-like, drives up to heaven, + Takes the reward of all his pains, + And leaves to other hands the reins. + + + +HUNSTANTON. + + + I am not dead, but sleepeth here, + And when the trumpet sound I will appear. + Four balls through me pierced their way, + Hard it was, I had no time to pray. + The stone that here you do see + My comrades erected for the sake of me. + + + +BURCH HEGGIN. + + + Acrostic Epitaph on Robert Porter, a noted miser. + + R iches and wealth I now despise, + O nce the delight of heart and eyes; + B ut since I've known the vile deceit, + E nvy has met its own defeat. + R egardless of such empty toys, + T ell all to seek for heavenly joys. + P ull'd down by age and anxious cares, + O ppressed am I by dismal fears, + R elating to my future state, + T o know what then will be my fate. + E ternal God! to Thee I pray + R emove these fearful doubts away. + + + +SWAFFHAM. + + + On a Lawyer. + + Here lieth one, believe it if you can, + Who tho' an attorney was an honest man, + The gates of heaven shall open wide, + But will be shut against all the tribe beside. + + + +THETFORD. + + + My grandfather was buried here, + My cousin Jane, and two uncles dear; + My father perished with a mortification in his thighs, + My sister dropped down dead in the Minories. + But the reason why I am here, according to my thinking, + Is owing to my good living and hard drinking, + Therefore good Christians, if you'd wish to live long, + Beware of drinking brandy, gin, or anything strong. + + + +LODDON. + + + When on this spot, affection's down-cast eye + The lucid tribute shall no more bestow; + When Friendship's breast no more shall heave a sigh, + In kind remembrance of the dust below; + + Should the rude Sexton, digging near this tomb, + A place of rest for others to prepare, + The vault beneath, to violate, presume, + May some opposing Christian cry, "Forbear-- + + "Forbear, rash mortal, as thou hop'st to rest, + When death shall lodge thee in thy destin'd bed, + With ruthless spade, unkindly to molest + The peaceful slumbers of the kindred dead!" + + + +GILLINGHAM. + + + On an Actor. + + "Sacred to the memory of THOMAS JACKSON, Comedian, who was engaged + December 21st, 1741, to play a comic cast of characters in this great + theatre, the world, for many of which he was prompted by nature to + excel--The season being ended--his benefit over--the charges all + paid, and his account closed, he made his exit in the tragedy of + Death, on the 17th of March, 1798, in full assurance of being called + once more to rehearsal, and where he hopes to find his forfeits all + cleared, his cast of parts bettered, and his situation made agreeable + by Him who paid the great stock debt, for the love He bore to + performers in general." + + + +LYNN. + + + William Scrivener, + Cook to the Corporation. + + Alas! alas! _Will Scriviner's_ dead, who by his art + Could make death's skeleton edible in each part; + Mourn, squeamish stomachs, and ye curious palates, + You've lost your dainty dishes and your salades; + Mourn for yourselves, but not for him i' th' least, + He's gone to taste of a more Heav'nly feast. + + + +Northamptonshire. + + +BARNWELL. + + + An Innkeeper. + + Man's life is like a winter's day, + Some only breakfast and away; + Others to dinner stay and are full fed, + The oldest man but sups and goes to bed; + Large is his debt who lingers out the day, + Who goes the soonest has the least to pay; + Death is the waiter, some few run on tick, + And some, alas! must pay the bill to Nick! + Tho' I owe'd much, I hope long trust is given, + And truly mean to pay all debts in Heaven. + + + +PETERBOROUGH. + + + Sir Richard Worme. + + Does worm eat Worm? Knight Worme this truth confirms, + For here, with worms, lies Worme, a dish for worms. + Does worm eat Worme? sure Worme will this deny, + For Worme with worms, a dish for worms don't lie. + 'Tis so, and 'tis not so, for free from worms, + 'Tis certain Worme is blest without his worms. + + * * * * * + + Jane Parker. + + Heare lyeth a midwife brought to bed, + Deliveresse delivered; + Her body being churched here, + Her soule gives thanks in yonder sphere. + + + +STAVERTON. + + + Here lies the body of Betty Bowden, + Who would live longer, but she couden; + Sorrow and grief made her decay, + Till her bad leg card her away. + + + +GAYTON. + + + William Houghton. + + Neere fourscore years have I tarryed + To this mother to be marryed; + One wife I had, and children ten, + God bless the living. Amen, Amen. + + + +NORTHAMPTON. + + + Pray for me, old Thomas Dunn, + But if you don't, 'tis all one. + + * * * * * + + Here lies the corpse of Susan Lee, + Who died of heartfelt pain; + Because she loved a faithless he, + Who loved not her again. + + + +Nottinghamshire. + + +ALVERTON. + + + Beneath the droppings of this spout, {80a} + Here lies the body once so stout, + Of FRANCIS THOMPSON. + A soul this carcase long possess'd, + Which for its virtue was caress'd, + By all who knew the owner best. + The _Rufford_ {80b} records can declare + His actions, who, for seventy year, + Both drew and drank its potent beer. + Fame mention not in all that time, + In this great Butler the least crime, + To stain his reputation. + To Envy's self we now appeal, + If aught of fault she can reveal, + To make her declaration. + Then rest, good shade, nor hell nor vermin fear; + Thy virtues guard thy soul--thy body good strong beer. + He died July 6, 1739, aged 83. + + + +NEWARK. + + + From earth my body first arose, + And now to earth again it goes: + I ne'er desire to have it more, + To tease me as it did before. + + + +Northumberland. + + +NEWCASTLE. + + + Here lies poor Wallace, + The prince of good fellows, + Clerk of Allhallows, + And maker of bellows. + He bellows did make to the day of his death, + But he that made bellows could never make breath. + + * * * * * + + Here lies James, of tender affection, + Here lies Isabell, of sweet complexion, + Here lies Katheren, a pleasant child, + Here lies Mary, of all most mild, + Here lies Alexander, a babe most sweet, + Here lies Jannet, as the Lord saw meet. + + + +ALNWICK. + + + Here lieth Martin Elphinston, + Who with his sword did cut in sun- + der the daughter of Sir Harry + Crispe, who did his daughter marry. + She was fat and fulsome; + But men will some- + times eat bacon with their bean, + And love the fat as well as lean. + + + +TYNEMOUTH. + + + Wha lies here? + Pate Watt, gin ye speer. + Poor Pate! is that thou? + Ay, by my soul, is 't; + But I's dead now. + + + +ILDERTON. + + + Under this stone lies Bobbity John, + Who, when alive, to the world was a wonder; + And would have been so yet, had not death in a fit, + Cut his soul and his body asunder. + + + +Oxfordshire. + + +WOLVERCOT. + + + Fair Rosomond's Tomb. + +Rosomond was buried at Godstow, a small island formed by the divided +stream of the Isis, in the parish of Wolvercot, near Oxford. The +following quaint epitaph was inscribed upon her tomb:-- + + "Hic jacet in Thumba, Rosa Mundi, non Rosamunda, + Non redolet sed olet, quae redolere solet." + + Imitated in English. + + "Here lies not Rose the chaste, but Rose the Fair, + Her scents no more perfume, but taint the air." + + Another translation. + + "The Rose of the World, a sad minx, + Lies here;--let's hope she repented: + She doesn't smell well now, but stinks,-- + She always _used_ to be scented." + + Another. + + Here doth Fayre Rosamund like any peasant lie: + She once was fragrant, but now smells unpleasantly. + + * * * * * + + On Meredith--an Organist. + + Here lies one blown out of breath, + Who lived a merry life, and died a Merideth. + + * * * * * + + On a Letter Founder. + + Under this stone lies honest SYL, + Who dy'd--though sore against his will; + Yet in his fame, he shall survive,-- + Learning shall keep his name alive; + For he the parent was of letters, + And _founded_, to _confound_ his betters; + Though what those letters should contain, + Did never once concern his brain, + Since, therefore, Reader, he is gone, + Pray let him not be trod upon. + + * * * * * + + Old Vicar Sutor lieth here, + Who had a Mouth from ear to ear, + Reader tread lightly on the sod, + For if he gapes, your' gone by G--. + + * * * * * + + Here lieth the body of Ann Sellars, buried by this stone, + Who dyed on January 15th day, 1731. + Likewise here lies dear Isaac Sellars, my Husband and my Right, + Who was buried on that same day come seven years, 1738. + In seven years time there comes a change! observe, and here you'll + see + On that same day come seven years, my husband's laid by me. + + * * * * * + + E. G. Hancock, died August 3, 1666. + John Hancock, Sen. ---- 4, ---- + John Hancock, Jun. ---- 7, ---- + Oner Hancock, ---- 7, ---- + William Hancock, ---- 7, ---- + Alice Hancock, ---- 9, ---- + Ann Hancock, ---- 10, ---- + + What havoc Death made in one family, in the course of Seven days. + + + +ENSHAM. + + + On John Green. + + If true devotion or tryde honesty + Could have for him got long lives liberty, + Nere had he withered but still growne Green, + Nor dyed but to ye Poor still helping been. + But he is tane from us yet this we comfort have, + Heaven hath his Soule still (Green) though body is wasting Grave, + In progeniem filii defunctam adjacentam. + My fruit first failed here we low ly, + Live well then, fear not all must dy. + + + +BANBURY. + + + Here do lye our dear boy, + Whom God hath tain from me: + And we do hope that us shall go to he, + For he can never come back again to we. + + + +NETTLEBED. + + + Both young and old that passeth by, + Remember well that here lies I, + Then think on Death, for soon too true, + Alas twill be that here lies you. + + * * * * * + +A doctor of divinity, who lies in the neighbourhood of Oxford, has his +complaint stated for him with unusual brevity, as well as his place of +interment:-- + + "He died of a quinsy, + And was buried at Binsey." + + + +Rutlandshire. + + +OAKHAM. + + + John Spong, Jobbing Carpenter. + + Who many a sturdy oak had lain along, + Fell'd by Death's surer hatchet, here lies SPONG, + Posts oft he made, but ne'er a place could get, + And liv'd by railing, though he was no wit: + Old saws he had, although no antiquarian, + And stiles corrected, yet was no grammarian. + + + +Shropshire. + + +SHREWSBURY. + + + On an Old Maid. + + Here lies the body of Martha Dias, + Who was always uneasy, and not over pious; + She lived to the age of threescore and ten, + And gave that to the worms she refused to the men. + + * * * * * + + On a Watchmaker. + + Thy movements, Isaac, kept in play, + Thy wheels of life felt no decay + For fifty years at least; + Till, by some sudden, secret stroke, + The balance or the mainspring broke, + And all the movements ceas'd. + + + +SHIFFNALL. + + + August 7th, 1714, Mary, the wife of Joseph Yates, of Lizard Common, + within the parish, was buried, aged 127 years. She walked to London + just after the Fire, in 1666; was hearty and strong at 120 years; and + married a third husband at 92. + + + +CEUN. + + + Charles Dike. + + Joyous his birth, wealth o'er his cradle shone, + Gen'rous he prov'd, far was his bounty known; + Men, horses, hounds were feasted at his hall, + There strangers found a welcome bed and stall; + Quick distant idlers answered to his horn, + And all was gladness in the sportsman's morn. + + But evening came, and colder blew the gale, + Means, overdone, had now begun to fail; + His wine was finished, and he ceas'd to brew, + And fickle friends now hid them from his view. + Unknown, neglected, pin'd the man of worth, + Death his best friend, his resting-place the Earth. + + * * * * * + +The following is copied from a head-stone, set up in the churchyard of +High Ercall. Those who are fond of the sublime, will certainly rejoice +over this precious poetical morsel:-- + + Salop, Oct. 1797. + ELIZABETH the Wife Of RICHARD BAARLAMB, + passed to Eternity on Sunday, the 21st of May, + 1797, in the 71st year of her age. + + When terrestrial all in Chaos shall Exhibit effervescence, + Then Celestial virtues in their most Refulgent Brilliant essence, + Shall with beaming Beauteous Radiance, thro' the ebullition Shine; + Transcending to Glorious Regions Beatifical, Sublime. + + + +CHURCH STRETTON. + + + On a Thursday she was born, + On a Thursday made a bride, + On a Thursday put to bed, + On a Thursday broke her leg, and + On a Thursday died. + + + +Somersetshire. + + +BARWICK. + + + Sarah Higmore, aet. 6. + + Ye modern fair, who'er you be, + This Truth we can aver: + A lesson of humility + You all may learn from her. + She had what none of you can boast, + With all your Wit and Sense-- + She had what you, alas! have lost, + And that was--Innocence. + + + +TAUNTON. + + + James Waters. + + Death, traversing the western road, + And asking where true merit lay, + Made in this town a short abode, + And took this worthy man away. + + + +YEOVIL. + + + John Webb, + + Son of John and Mary Webb, Clothiers, who died of the + measles, May 3d, 1646, aged 3 years. + + How still he lies! + And clos'd his eyes, + That shone as bright as day! + The cruel measles, + Like _clothier's teasels_, + Have scratched his life away. + + _Cochineal red_, + His lips have fled, + Which now are _blue_ and _black_. + Dear pretty wretch, + How thy limbs _stretch_, + Like _cloth upon_ the _rack_. + + _Repress_ thy sighs, + The husband cries, + My dear, and not repine, + For ten to one, + When God's work's done, + He'll _come off superfine_. + + + +Staffordshire. + + +YOXHALL. + + + On Anthony Cooke, who died on Easter Monday. + + At the due sacrifice of the Paschall Lambe, + April had 8 days wept in showers, then came + Leane, hungry death, who never pitty tooke, + And cause the feast was ended, slew this Cooke. + On Easter Monday, he lyves then noe day more, + But sunk to rise with him that rose before; + He's here intomb'd; a man of virtue's line + Out reacht his yeares, yet they were seventy-nine. + He left on earth ten children of eleven + To keep his name, whilst himself went to heaven. + + + +BILSTON. + + + In Mem. of Mary Maria, wife of Wm Dodd, who died Decr 12th, A.D. + 1847, aged 27. Also of their children, Louisa, who died Decr 12th, + 1847, aged 9 months; and Alfred, who died Jany 3rd, A. D. 1848, aged + 2 years and 9 months. + + All victims to the neglect of sanitary regulation, and specially + referred to in a recent lecture on Health in this town. + + And the Lord said to the angel that destroyed, it is enough, stay now + thine hand.--1 Chron. xx. 17. + + * * * * * + + In Mem. of Joseph, son of Joseph and Mary Meek, who was accidentally + drowned in the cistern of the day school adjoining this church, April + 30th, 1845, aged 8 years. This distressing event is recorded by the + minister, as an expression of sympathy with the parents, and caution + to the children of the school--a reproof to the proprietors of the + open wells, pits and landslips; the want of fencing about which is + the frequent cause of similar disaster in these districts; and as a + memento to all of the uncertainty of life, and the consequent + necessity of immediate and continued preparation for death. + + * * * * * + + "And if any man ask you, Why do you loose him? Then shall ye say + unto him, Because the Lord hath need of him." {90}--Luke xix. 31. + + + +BUTTERTON. + + + Near to this stone John Barnett lies, + There's no man frets, nor no man cries, + Where he's gone, or how he fares, + There's no man knows, nor no man cares. + + + +STAFFORD. + + + Here Leah's fruitfulness, + Here Rachael's beauty; + Here lyeth Rebecca's faith, + Here Sarah's duty. + + + +WOLSTANSTON. + + + Ann Jennings. + + Some have children, some have none; + Here lies the mother of twenty-one. + + + +LICHFIELD. + + + Live well--die never; + Die well--live for ever. + + + +Suffolk. + + +BURY ST. EDMUNDS. + + +The following whimsical epitaph appears upon a white marble slab, in a +conspicuous part of the church of St. Mary:-- + + Near this place are deposited the remains of Gedge, Printer, who + established the first newspaper that has been published in this town. + Like a worn out type, he is returned to the _founder_, in the hope of + being recast in a better and more perfect mould. + + + +HADLEIGH. + + + The charnel mounted on this w ) + Sits to be seen in funer ) + A matron plain, domestic ) + In housewifery a princip ) + In care and pains continu ) + Not slow, nor gay, nor prodig ) all. + Yet neighbourly and hospitab ) + Her children seven yet living ) + Her 67th year hence did c ) + To rest her body natur ) + In hope to rise spiritu ) + + * * * * * + + On little Stephen, a noted fiddler. + + Stephen and Time + Are now both even; + Stephen beat Time, + Now Time beats Stephen. + + * * * * * + + Life is only pain below, + When Christ appears, then up we go. + + + +IPSWICH. + + + John Warner. + + I Warner once was to myself, + Now Warning am to thee, + Both living, dying, dead I was, + See then thou warned be. + + * * * * * + + On ---- More, of Norwich. + + More had I once, More would I have; + More is not to be had. + The first I . . . the next is vaine; + The third is too too bad. + If I had us'd with more regard + The More that I did give, + I might have made More use and fruit + Of More while he did live. + + + +THURLOW. + + + Here she lies, a pretty bud, + Lately made of flesh and blood; + Who as soon fell fast asleep + As her little eyes did peep. + Give her strewings, but not stir + The earth that lightly covers her. + + + +LAVENHAM. + + + Quod fuit esse quod est, quod non fuit esse quod esse. + Esse quod est non esse, quod est non erit esse. + + Translation. + + What John Giles has been, + Is what he is (a batchelor); + What he has not been, + Is what he is (a corpse); + To be what he is + Is not to be (a living creature). + He will not have to be + What he is not (dust). + + + +BURY. + + + Here lies Jane Kitchen, who, when her glass was spent, + Kickt up her heels, and away she went. + + + +Surrey. + + +BERMONDSEY. + + + William Palin. + + Silent grave, to thee I trust + This precious pearl of worthy dust. + Keep it safe, O sacred tomb! + Until a wife shall ask for room. + + + +WALWORTH. + + + Here lies the wife of Roger Martin, + She was a good wife to Roger--that's sartain. + + + +OCKHAM. + + + The Lord saw good, I was topping off wood, + And down fell from the tree; + I met with a check, and I broke my blessed neck, + And so Death topped off me. + + + +WIMBLEDON. + + + Sweet Saviour, Jesus, give me wings + Of Peace and perfect Love, + As I may move from Earthly Things, + To rest with thee above. + + For sins and Sorrows overflow + All earthly things so High, + That I can't find no rest below, + Till up to thee I fly. + + + +THAMES DITTON. + + + In memory of Mr. Wm Machell, who departed this life Oct. 10, 1808. + Aged 88 years. + + Whilst in this world I remained, my life was + A pleasure and health and gain. But now + God thought best to take me to his everlasting rest, + And I thank God for it. + + + +STREATHAM. + + + On the South Wall of this Church is the following remarkable + Inscription:--Elizabeth, wife of Major-Genl Hamilton, who was married + 47 years, and never did ONE thing to disoblige her Husband. + + + +BATTERSEA. + + + Sir Edward Court. + + "Alone, unarm'd, a tiger he oppress'd, + And crush'd to death the monster of a beast: + Thrice twenty mounted Moors he overthrew + Singly on foot, some wounded, some he slew, + Disperst the rest; what more could Sampson do?" + +NOTE.--This is only part of the inscription, which relates that, being +attacked in the woods by a tiger, he placed himself on the side of a +pond, and when the tiger flew at him, he caught him in his arms, fell +back with him into the water, got upon him, and kept him down till he had +drowned him. + + +GUILDFORD. + + + Reader, pass on, ne'er waste your time + On bad biography and bitter rhyme; + For what I am, this cumb'rous clay insures, + And what I was, is no affair of yours. + + + +BEDDINGTON. + + + Thomas Greenhill. + + Under thy feet interr'd is here + A native born in Oxfordshire; + First life and learning Oxford gave, + Surry him his death and grave; + He once a Hill was fresh and Greene, + Now withered is not to be seene; + Earth in earth shovell'd up is shut, + A Hill into a Hole is put; + But darksome earth by Power Divine, + Bright at last as the sun may shine. + + + +RICHMOND. + + +On Captain John Dunch, who died in 1697, aged 67. + + Though Boreas' blasts and Neptune's waves + Have tossed me to and fro, + In spight of both, by God's decree, + I anchor here below, + Where I do now at anchor ride, + With many of our fleet, + Yet once again I must set sail, + Our admiral, Christ, to meet. + + + +CAMBERWELL. + + + Richard Wade, died Oct. 21, 1810, aged 53. + Giles Wade, died Dec. 8, 1810, aged 53. + + Near together they came, + Near together they went, + Near together they are. + + + +Sussex. + + +BARCOMB. + + + All you that come my grave to see + Prepare yourself to Follow me, + Take care Young men repent in time + For I was taken in my Prime. + + As I was going through a Barn + I little thought of any harm, + A piece of Timber on me fell, + And penetrated through my Skull. + + My Eyes were Blinded I could not see, + My Parents they did weep for Me, + My Time was come I was Forced to go, + And bid the World and Them Adieu. + + Just six and thirty hours I lay + In great Pain and Agony, + Till the Archangel bid me come, + And called my Soul to its last Home. + + + +CHICHESTER. + + +A certain noble lord of no very moral life, dying, had inscribed upon his +tomb, the phrase, "Ultima Domus,"--Collins, the poet, is said to have +pencill'd those lines under the words:-- + + Did he who wrote upon this wall, + Believe or disbelieve St. Paul? + Who says where-er it is or stands, + There is another house not made with hands, + Or do we gather from these words, + That house is not a house of lords? + + * * * * * + + Here lies an old soldier whom all must applaud, + Who fought many battles at home and abroad; + But the hottest engagement he ever was in, + Was the conquest of self in the battle of sin. + + + +BEXHILL. + + + On a Young Lady. + + I lay me down to rest me, + And pray to God to bless me, + And if I sleep and never wake, + I pray to God my soul to take + This night for Evermore--Amen. + + + +WEST GRINSTEAD. + + + Vast Strong was I, but yet did dye, + And in my Grave asleep I Lye, + My Grave is Stoned all round about, + But I hope the Lord will find me out. + + + +MAYFIELD. + + + Oh reader! if that thou can'st read + Look down upon this stone; + Do all we can, Death is a man, + What never spareth none. + + + +STORRINGTON. + + + Here lies the body of Edward Hide, + We laid him here because he died, + We had rather + It been his father, + If it had been his sister + We should not have missed her, + But since 'tis honest Ned, + No more shall be said. + + * * * * * + + Here lies my poor wife, without bed or blanket, + But dead as a door nail, God be thanked. + + + +LAVANT. + + + Mr. Samford, Blacksmith. + + My Sledge and hammer lie reclined, + My Bellows, too, have lost their wind; + My fire's extinct, my forge decayed, + And in the dust my vice is laid; + My coal is spent, my iron gone, + My nails are drove, my work is done. + + + +EAST GRINSTEAD. + + + I was as grass that did grow up, + And wither'd before it grew, + As Snails do waste within their Shells, + So the number of my days were few. + + + +RODMELL. + + + Elizabeth Ellis (1757). + + If love and virtue doth conduce to grace the fair, + These was once possessed by her who lieth here; + But alas! by fate the object of her love was drowned. + By death surprized in trying to save a hound. + Which such effect had on her tender mind + It brought her into a deep decline. + With him her transitory bliss is fled, + And she a cold companion of the dead. + Since this catastrophe cannot fail to show + How uncertain all earthly joys are here below. + + + +BRIGHTON. + + + His fate was hard, but God's decree + Was, drown'd he should lie--in the sea. + + + +Warwickshire. + + +BIRMINGHAM. + + + By a Lady on her Husband. + + Oh! cruel death, how could you be so unkind, + To take _him_ before, and leave me behind. + You should have taken both of us--if either, + Which would have been more pleasant to the _survivor_. + + * * * * * + + My time is out, my glass is run, + I never more shan't see the sun; + To live for ever, no man don't, + The Lord does not think fitting on't. + + + +COVENTRY. + + + Upon a rich Merchant's Wife. + + She was What was, + But words are Wanting to say what a One. + What a Wife should be, + She was that. + + + +STRATFORD ON AVON. + + +On Shakspeare's Monument are engraved the following distich and lines:-- + + "Judicio Pylium, genio Socratem, arte Maronem, + Terra tegit, populus moeret, Olympus habet." + + "Stay, passenger, why dost thou go so fast? + Read, if thou canst, what envious death hath placed + Within this monument; Shakspeare, with whom + Quick nature died; whose name doth deck the tomb + Far more than cost, since all that he hath writ + Leaves living art but page unto his wit." + + + +Westmoreland. + + +RAVENSTONEDALE. + + + Here lies a Wife, + Mary Metcalf, + Where I was born, or when, + It matters not,-- + To whom related, or + By whom begot. + + * * * * * + + John Robinson Hunter, + Aged 30. + + He lived; and died + Unplaced, unpensioned-- + No man's heir + Or slave. + + "Can the inhabitants of Ravenstonedale look at either of these + monuments without blushing? Can the freeholders of that parish look + at the latter, and not consider it prophetically as the voice of one + speaking from the dead?" + + + +Wiltshire. + + +SALISBURY. + + + "Innocence embellishes, divinely compleat, + The pre-existing co-essence, now sublimely great. + He can surpassingly immortalize thy theme, + And perforate thy soul, celestial supreme. + When gracious refulgence bids the grave resign + The Creator's nursing protection be thine. + So shall each perspiring aether joyfully arise, + Transcendantly good, supereminently wise." + + * * * * * + + In the morning I was well, + In the afternoon from a cart I fell, + An accident somewhat severe, + In less than a fortnight brought me here. + + + +ANSTEY. + + + Mary Best lies buried hear, + Her age it was just ninety year; + Twenty-eight she liv'd a single life, + And only four years was a wife; + She liv'd a widow fifty-eight, + And died January 11, eighty-eight. + + + +CALNE. + + + God worketh wonders now and then, + Here lies a miller, and an honest man. + + + +Worcestershire. + + +WORCESTER. + + + Mr. John Mole. + + Beneath this cold stone lies a son of the earth; + His story is short, though we date from his birth; + His mind was as gross as his body was big; + He drank like a fish, and he ate like a pig. + No cares of religion, of wedlock, or state, + Did e'er for a moment encumber John's pate. + He sat or he walked, but his walk was but creeping, + And he rose from his bed--when quite tir'd of sleeping. + Without foe, without friend, unnotic'd he died; + Not a single soul laughed, not a single soul cried. + Like his four-footed namesake, he dearly lov'd earth. + So the sexton has cover'd his body with turf. + + * * * * * + + Mammy and I together lived + Just two years and a half; + She went first, I followed next, + The cow before the calf. + + + +BROMESGROVE. + + + In memory of Thomas Maningly. + + Beneath this stone lies the remains, + Who in Bromsgrove-street was slain. + A currier with his knife did the deed, + And left me in the street to bleed; + But when archangel's trump shall sound, + And souls to bodies join, that murderer + I hope will see my soul in heaven shine. + + + +GREAT MALVERN. + + + Pain was my portion, physic was my food, + Grones my devotion--drugs done me no good. + Christ was my physician--he knowed what was best, + He took me to Himself, and put me here at rest. + + + +BELBROUGTON + + + Richard Philpots. + + To tell a merry or a wonderous tale + Over a chearful glass of nappy Ale, + In harmless mirth was his supreme delight, + To please his Guests or Friends by day or night; + But no fine tale, how well soever told, + Could make the tyrant Death his stroak withold; + That fatal Stroak has Laid him here in Dust, + To rise again once more with Joy we trust. + +On the upper portion of this Christian monument are carved, in full +relief, a punch-bowl, a flagon, and a bottle, emblems of the deceased's +faith, and of those pots which Mr. Philpots delighted to fill. + + * * * * * + + "Near to this is a fine tombstone to the memory of Paradise Buckler + (who died in 1815), the daughter of a gipsy king. The pomp that + attended her funeral is well remembered by many of the inhabitants. + I have heard one of my relatives say that the gipsies borrowed from + her a dozen of the finest damask napkins (for the coffin + handles)--none but those of the very best quality being accepted for + the purpose--and that they were duly returned, beautifully 'got up' + and scented. The king and his family were encamped in a lane near to + my relative's house, and his daughter (a young girl of fifteen) died + in the camp. + + "C. BEDE." + + + +Yorkshire. + + +LEEDS. + + + Under this stone do lie six children small, + Of John Wittington of the North Hall. + + * * * * * + + On a Learned Alderman. + + Here lies William Curtis, late our Lord Mayor, + Who has left _this here_ world, and is gone to _that there_. + + + +SELBY. + + + Here lies the body of poor _Frank Row_, + Parish clerk, and grave-stone cutter; + And this is writ to let you know, + What _Frank_ for others us'd to do, + Is now for _Frank_ done by another. + + + +BARWICK-IN-ELMET. + + + On a Marine Officer. + + Here lies, retired from busy scenes, + A first lieutenant of marines, + Who lately lived in gay content + On board the brave ship _Diligent_. + Now stripped of all his warlike show, + And laid in box of elm below, + Confined in earth in narrow borders, + He rises not till further orders. + + + +BIRSTALL. + + + This is to the memory of old Amos, + Who was, when alive for hunting famous, + But now his chases are all o'er, + And here he's earthed--of years fourscore. + Upon this stone he's often sat, + And tried to read his epitaph; + And thou who dost so at this moment, + Shalt, ere long, somewhere lie dormant. + + + +ROTHERHAM. + + + We joined was in mutual love, + And so we did remain, + Till parted was by God above, + In hopes to meet again. + + + +LEEDS. + + + Hic jacet sure the fattest man, + That Yorkshire stingo made; + He was a lover--of his can, + A clothier by his trade. + His waist did measure three yards round, + He weighed almost three hundred pounds; + His flesh did weigh full twenty stone-- + His flesh, I say, he had no bone, + At least 'tis said that he had none. + + + +NORTH ALLERTON. + + + Hic jacet Walter Gun, + Some time Landlord of the Sun; + Sic transit gloria mundi. + He drank hard upon Friday, + That being a high day, + Then took to his bed and died upon Sunday. + + + +WADDINGTON. + + + Wm. Rd. Phelp, a Boatswain of H.M.S. Invincible. + + When I was like you, + For years not a few, + On the ocean I toil'd, + On the line I have broil'd, + In Greenland I've shiver'd, + Now from hardships deliver'd; + Capsized by old Death, + I surrendered my breath, + And now I lay snug, + As a bug in a rug. + + + +LEEDS. + + + Here lies my wife, + Here lies she; + Hallelujah, + Hallelujee. + + + +RICHMOND. + + + Here lies the body of William Wix, + One Thousand, Seven Hundred & Sixty Six. + + + + +Wales. + + +Carmarthenshire. + + +CARMARTHEN. + + + A hopeful youth, and well beloved, + Has to the earth his body bequeathed. + + + +Carnarvonshire. + + +ABERCONWAY. + + + Here lieth the body of Nicholas Hooker, of Conway, Gent. + Who was the one and fortieth child of William Hooker, Esq.by + Alice his wife, and the father of twenty-seven children. + He died on the 20th day of March, 1637. + + + +CARNARVON. + + + Dust from dust at first was taken,-- + Dust by dust is now forsaken; + Dust in dust shall still remain, + Till dust from dust shall rise again. + + + +Denbighshire. + + +WREXHAM. + + + Here lies a Church-warden, + A choice flower in that garden, + Joseph Critchley by name, + Who lived in good fame + Being gone to rest, + Without doubt he is blest. + + + +Montgomeryshire. + + +MONTGOMERY. + + + All you that come our grave to see + A moment pause and think, + How we are in eternity + And you are on the brink. + + + +BERRIEW. + + + Farewell, my dear and loving wife, + Partner of the cares of life, + And you my children now adieu, + Since I no more can come to you. + + + +GUILDSFIELD. + + + Beneath this yew tree + Buried would he be, + Because his father, he, + Planted this yew tree. + + + +Pembrokeshire. + + +LLANVAIR. + + + Who Ever hear on Sonday, + Will practis playing at Ball, + It may be be Fore Munday + The devil Will Have you All. + + + +Radnorshire. + + +RADNOR. + + + In health and strength unthinking of my fate, + Death like a thief knock'd at my Bolted gate, + I hasted down to know the reason why + That noise was made, Death Quickly did Reply, + For thee I Call, thy Soul is now Requir'd, + I trembling gaz'd and Instantly Expir'd. + + + + +Scotland. + + +Ayrshire. + + +MUIRKIRK. + + + Inscription. + + Here lies John Smith + who was shot by Col. + Buchan and the laird + of Lee. Feb. 1685. + For his adherence to the + word of God and Scot + land's covenanted w- + ork of reformation, + Rev. 12, ii. Erected in the + year 1731. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph. + + When proud apostates + did abjure Scotland's + reformation pure And + fill'd this land with perj + ury and all sorts of In- + iquity Such as would not + with them comply They pe + rsecute with hue and + cry. I in the flight + was overtane And fo + r the truth by them + was slain. + + + +Caithnessshire. + + +HALKIRK. + + + Sir Jno. Graham. + + Here lies Sir John the Grame both right and wise, + One of the chiefs rescued Scotland thrice, + An better knight ne're to the world was lent + Than was good Grame of truth and hardiment. + + + +Dumfriesshire. + + +HODDAM. + + + Here lyes a man, who all his mortal life + Past mending clocks but could not mend hys wyfe. + The 'larum of his bell was ne'er sae shrill + As was her tongue, aye clacking like a mill. + But now he's gane--oh, whither? nane can tell-- + I hope beyond the sound o' Mally's bell. + + * * * * * + + Here lies John Speir + Dumfreise--Pipier, + Young John?--Fy Fy. + Old John?--Ay Ay. + + + +Edinburghshire. + + +EDINBURGH. + + + Here lie I, Martin Eldinbrode, + Ha' mercy on my soul, Loord Gode; + As I would do, were I Lord Gode, + And thou wert Martin Eldinbrode. + + * * * * * + + John McPherson + Was a wonderful person, + He was six feet two + Without his shoe, + And he was slew + At Waterloo. + + * * * * * + + Here lies Donald and his wife + Janet Mac Fee, + Aged Forty hee, + Aged thirty shee. + + * * * * * + + Here lieth the limbs of a lang devil, + Wha! in his time has done much evil, + And oft the ale wybes he opprest, + And blest be God he's gone to rest. + + * * * * * + + John Carnagie lies here, + Descended of Adam and Eve, + If any can gang higher + He willingly gives him leave. + +This epitaph is undoubtedly that from which Prior borrowed those +beautiful and well-known lines he once intended for his own monument. + + * * * * * + + Wha lies here? + I Johnny Dow. + Hoo! Johnny, is that you? + Ay, man, but a'm dead now. + + + +Fifeshire. + + +TORRYBURN. + + + On a drunken Cobbler. + + Enclosed within this narrow stall + Lies one who was a friend to _awl_. + He saved bad _soles_ from getting worse, + But damned his own without remorse. + And tho' a drunken life he passed, + Yet saved his _soul_ by _mending at the last_. + + + +Forfarshire. + + +CUPAR. + + + William Rymour. + + Through Christ, T'me not inferiour + To William the Conqueror.--Rom. 8, 37. (! !) + + + +DUNDEE. + + + Walter Coupar, Tailor. + + Kynd commorads! here Coupar's corpse is laid, + Walter by name, and Tayleour to his trade, + Both kind and true, and stout and honest-hearted, + Condole with me that he so soon departed. + For, Tavou, he never weyl'd and sheer + Had better parts, nor he that's bur'yd here. + + + +DUNDEE. + + +Three Scottish worthies were once appointed to compose an Epitaph on a +departed Provost: subjoined are the productions of two of them, which +were supposed to have been the means of killing the third candidate in a +fit of laughter. + + Here lies the Provost of Dundee, + Here lies him, here lies he. + Hi-diddle-dum, Hi-diddle-dee, + A, B, C, D, E, F, G. + + * * * * * + + Here lies the body of John Watson, + Read this not with your hats on, + For why--he was Provost of Dundee, + Hallelujah, Hallelujee. + + + +MONTROSE. + + + Here lyes the bodeys of George Young and Isbel Guthrie, and all their + posterity for fifty years backwards. + November 1757. + + + +Haddingtonshire. + + +PRESTONPANS. + + + William Matthison here lies, + Whose age was forty-one, + February 17, he dies, + Went Isbel Mitchell from, + Who was his married wife + The fourth part of his life. + The soul it cannot die, + Though the body be turned to clay, + Yet meet again they must + At the last day. + Trumpet shall sound, archangels cry, + "Come forth Isbel Mitchell and meet Will + Matthison in the sky." + + + +HADDINGTON. + + + If modesty commend a wife + And Providence a mother, + Grave chastity a widow's life, + We'll not find such another + In Haddington as Mareon Gray, + Who here doth lie till the Domesday. + + * * * * * + + Hout, Atropos, heard-hearted hag, + To cut the sheugh o' Jamie Craig! + For had he lived a wheen mae years + He'd been o'er teugh for thy auld shears. + But now he's gane, sae maun we a', + Wha wres'les Death's aye shure to fa'; + Sae let us pray that we at last + May wun frae Death a canny cast. + + + +ABERLADY. + + + "Here lies John Smith, + Whom Death slew, for all his pith + The starkest man in Aberlady, + God prepare and make us ready. + + + +Lanarkshire. + + +GLASGOW. + + + Our life's a flying shadow, God's the pole, + The index pointing at him is our soul; + Death's the horizon, when our sun is set, + Which will through Christ a resurrection get. + + * * * * * + + Here lies Mass Andrew Gray, + Of whom ne muckle good can I say: + He was ne Quaker, for he had ne spirit, + He was ne Papist, for he had ne merit. + He was ne Turk, for he drank muckle wine, + He was ne Jew, for he eat muckle swine. + Full forty years he preach'd and le'ed, + For which God doomed him when he de'ed. + + + +Perthshire. + + +DUNKELD. + + + Margery Scott. + + Stop, passenger, until my life you read, + The living may get knowledge from the dead: + Five times five years I lived a virgin life, + Five times five years I was a virtuous wife, + Five times five years a widow, grave and chaste, + Tired of the elements, I am now at rest; + Betwixt my cradle and my grave were seen + Eight mighty kings of Scotland and a Queen; + Thrice did I see old Pulacy pulled down, + And thrice the cloak did sink beneath the gown. + + + +Stirlingshire. + + +STIRLING. + + + John Adamson's here kept within, + Death's prisoner for Adam's sin, + But rests in hope that he shall be + Let, by the second Adam, free. + + + +Wigtonshire. + + +WIGTON. + + + Here lies John Taggart, of honest fame, + Of stature low, and a leg lame; + Content he was with portion small, + Kept a shop in Wigtown, and that's all. + + + + +Miscellaneous. + + +A servant maid was sent by her mistress to Ben Jonson for an epitaph on +her departed husband. She could only afford to pay half-a-guinea, which +Ben refused, saying he never wrote one for less than double that sum; but +recollecting he was going to dine that day at a tavern, he ran down +stairs and called her back. "What was your master's name?"--"Jonathan +Fiddle, sir." "When did he die?"--"June the 22nd, sir." Ben took a +small piece of paper, and wrote with his pencil, while standing on the +stairs, the following:-- + + On the twenty-second of June, + Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune. + + * * * * * + + On Shadrach Johnson, + + Who kept the Wheatsheaf, at Bedford, and had twenty- + four children by his first wife, and eight by his second. + Shadrach lies here; who made both sexes happy, + The women with love toys, and the men with nappy. + + * * * * * + + On a Cricketer. + + I _bowled_, I _struck_, I _caught_, I _stopt_, + Sure life's a game of cricket; + I _block'd_ with care, with caution popp'd, + Yet Death has hit my _wicket_. + + * * * * * + + On a Puritanical Locksmith. + + A zealous locksmith died of late, + And did arrive at heaven gate; + He stood without and would not knock, + Because he meant to pick the lock. + + * * * * * + + On John Cole, + Who died suddenly, while at dinner. + + Here lies Johnny Cole, + Who died, on my soul, + After eating a plentiful dinner. + While chewing his crust, + He was turned into dust, + With his crimes undigested--poor sinner! + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Death, the Actor. + + Death levels all, both high and low, + Without regard to stations; + Yet why complain, + If we are slain? + For here lies one, at least, to show, + He kills his own relations. + + * * * * * + +"The following reference to one departed Mr. Strange, of the legal +profession, is rather complimentary; and I have only to hope that the +fact of the case is as stated, and that the writer was not led away by +the obvious opportunity of making a point, to exaggerate the virtues of +the deceased. It looks a little suspicious." (_Dickens_). + + "Here lies an honest lawyer, + And that is Strange." + + * * * * * + +"Dr. I. Letsome wrote the following epitaph for his own tombstone; but it +is not likely that he allowed his friends, or at least his patients, to +read it until he was under the turf, or out of practice:"-- + + "When people's ill, they comes to I, + I physics, bleeds, and sweats 'em; + Sometimes they live, sometimes they die; + What's that to I? I. Letsome." (_lets 'em_.) + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Foot. + + Here lies one Foot, whose death may thousands save; + For Death himself has now _one Foot_ i' th' grave. + + * * * * * + + On a Gentleman who expended his Fortune in + Horse-racing. + + John ran so long, and ran so fast, + No wonder he ran out at last; + He ran in debt, and then to pay, + He distanced all--and ran away. + + * * * * * + + On a Miser. + + They call'd thee rich, I deem'd thee poor, + Since, if thou dar'dst not use thy store, + But sav'd it only for thy heirs, + The treasure was not thine--but theirs. + + * * * * * + +Lines written by Robert of Gloucester upon King Henry the First, who died +through over-eating of his favourite fish:-- + + "And when he com hom he willede of an lampreye to ete, + Ac hys leeches hym oerbede, vor yt was feble mete, + Ac he wolde it noyt beleve, vor he lovede yt well ynow, + And ete as in better cas, vor thulke lampreye hym slow, + Vor anon rygt thereafter into anguysse he drow, + And died vor thys lampreye, thane hys owe wow." + + * * * * * + + On John Sydney, + Who died full of the Small Pox. + + In this sacred urn there lies, + Till the last trump make it rise, + A light that's wanting in the skies. + A corpse inveloped with stars, + Who, though a stranger to the wars, + Was mark'd with many hundred scars. + + Death, at once, spent all his store + Of darts, which this fair body bore, + Though fewer had kill'd many more. + For him our own salt tears we quaff, + Whose virtues shall preserve him safe, + Beyond the power of epitaph. + + * * * * * + + Upon Two Religious Disputants, + Who are interred within a few paces of each other. + + Suspended here a contest see, + Of two whose creeds could ne'er agree; + For whether they would preach or pray, + They'd do it in a different way; + And they wou'd fain our fate deny'd, + In quite a different manner dy'd! + Yet, think not that their rancour's o'er; + No! for 'tis 10 to 1, and more, + Tho' quiet now as either lies, + But they've a wrangle when they rise. + + * * * * * + + On a disorderly fellow, named Chest. + + Here lies one Chest within another. + That chest was good + Which was made of wood, + But who'll say so of t'other? + + * * * * * + + On John Death. + + Here lies John Death, the very same + That went away with a cousin of his name. + + * * * * * + + Lord Coningsby. By Pope. + + Here lies Lord Coningsby--be civil; + The rest God knows--perhaps the Devil. + + * * * * * + + On General Tulley. + + Here lies General Tulley, + Aged 105 years fully; + Nine of his wives beside him doth lie, + And the tenth must lie here when she doth die. + + * * * * * + + A Bishop's Epitaph. + + In this house, which I have borrowed from my brethren worms, lie I, + Samuel, by divine permission late Bishop of this Island, in hope of + the resurrection to Eternal life. Reader, stop! view the Lord + Bishop's palace, and smile. + + * * * * * + + On a Welchman, + Killed by a Fall from his Horse. + + Here lies interr'd, beneath these stones, + David ap-Morgan, ap-Shenkin, ap-Jones; + Hur was born in Wales, hur was travell'd in France, + And hur went to heaven--by a bad mischance. + + * * * * * + + Card Table Epitaph on a Lady, whose Ruin and Death + were caused by gaming. + + Clarissa reign'd the _Queen_ of _Hearts_, + Like _sparkling Diamonds_ were her eyes; + But through the _Knave_ of _Clubs_, false arts, + Here bedded by a _Spade_ she lies. + + * * * * * + + Reader, in that peace of earth, + In peace rest Thomas Arrowsmith. + In peace he lived, in peace went hence, + With God & men & conscience: + Peace for other men he sought, + And peace with pieces sometimes bought. + Pacifici, may others bee, + But ex pace factro hee. + + * * * * * + + Ann Mitchell. + + Loe here I lye till Trumpets sound, + And Christ for me shall call; + And then I hope to rise again, + And dye no more at all. + + * * * * * + + O Merciful Jesu that Brought + Mans Soule from Hell; + Have Mercy of the Soule + of Jane Bell. + + * * * * * + + On a very idle Fellow. + + Here lieth one that once was born & cried, + Liv'd several years, & then--& then--he died. + + * * * * * + + On a Great consumer of Bread, Cheese, and Tobacco. + + Here gaffer B . . . Jaws are laid at Ease, + Whose Death has dropped the price of Bread & Cheese. + He Eat, he drank, he smoked, and then + He Eat, and drank, and smoked again. + So Modern Patriots, rightly understood, + Live to themselves, and die for Public Good. + + * * * * * + + Thin in beard, and thick in purse, + Never man beloved worse; + He went to the grave with many a curse: + The devil and he had both one nurse. + + * * * * * + + They were so one, that none could say + Which of them ruled, or whether did obey, + He ruled, because she would obey; and she, + In so obeying, ruled as well as he. + + * * * * * + + Good People draw near, + There is no need of a tear, + Merry L . . . is gone to his Bed; + I am placed here to tell, + Where now lies the shell, + If he had any soul it is fled. + Make the Bells ring aloud, + And be joyful the croud, + For Mirth was his favourite theme, + Which to Praise he turned Poet, + Its fit you should know it, + Since he has left nothing more than his name. + + * * * * * + + On an Ass (by the late late Dr. Jenner). + + Beneath this hugh hillock here lies a poor creature, + So gentle, so easy, so harmless his nature; + On earth by kind Heav'n he surely was sent, + To teach erring mortals the road to content; + Whatever befel him, he bore his hard fate, + Nor envied the steed in his high pamper'd state; + Though homely his fare was, he'd never repine; + On a dock could he breakfast, on thistles could dine; + No matter how coarse or unsavoury his salad, + Content made the flavour suit well with his palate. + Now, Reader, depart, and, as onward you pass, + Reflect on the lesson you've heard from an Ass. + + * * * * * + + On a Henpecked Country Squire. + + As father Adam first was fool'd, + A case that's still too common, + Here lies a man a woman rul'd, + The devil rul'd the woman. + + * * * * * + + On a Potter. + + How frail is man--how short life's longest day! + Here lies the worthy Potter, turned to clay! + Whose forming hand, and whose reforming care, + Has left us full of flaws. Vile earthenware! + + * * * * * + +It was his usual custom in company when he told anything, to ask, d'ye +hear? and if any one said no, John would reply, no matter, I've said. + + Death came to John + And whisper'd in his ear, + You must die John, + D'ye hear? + + Quoth John to Death + The news is bad. + No matter, quoth Death, + I've said. + + * * * * * + + Punning Epitaph. + + Cecil Clay, the counsellor of Chesterfield, caused this whimsical + allusion or pun upon his name to be put upon his grave-stone;--Two + cyphers of C. C. and underneath, + Sum quod fui, "I am what I was." + + * * * * * + +Oldys thus translates from Camden an epitaph upon a tippling red-nosed +ballad maker, of the time of Shakespeare:-- + + Dead drunk, here Elderton doth lie: + Dead as he is, he still is dry; + So of him it may well be said, + Here he, but not his thirst, is laid. + + * * * * * + + On a Juggler. + + Death came to see thy tricks, and cut in twain + Thy thread. Why did'st not make it whole again? + + * * * * * + + To a Magistrate's Widow. + + Her husband died, and while she tried + To live behind, could not, and died. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph on the Parson of a parish. + + Come let us rejoice merry boys at his fall, + For egad, had he lived he'd a buried us all. + + * * * * * + + On a Baker. + + Richard Fuller lies buried here, + Do not withhold the crystal tear, + For when he liv'd he daily fed + Woman and man and child with bread. + But now alas he's turned to dust, + As thou and I and all soon must, + And lies beneath this turf so green, + Where worms do daily feed on him. + + * * * * * + + An Original. + + Here lies fast asleep, awake me who can, + The medley of passion and follies, a Man + Who sometimes lov'd licence and sometimes restraint, + Too much of the sinner, too little of saint; + From quarter to quarter I shifted my tack; + Gainst the evils of life a most notable quack; + But, alas! I soon found the defects of my skill, + And my nostrums in practice proved treacherous still; + From life's certain ills 'twas in vain to seek ease, + The remedy oft proved another disease; + What in rapture began often ended in sorrow, + And the pleasure to-day brought reflection to-morrow; + When each action was o'er and its errors were seen, + Then I viewed with surprise the strange thing I had been; + My body and mind were so oddly contrived, + That at each other's failing both parties conniv'd, + Imprudence of mind brought on sickness and pain, + The body diseas'd paid the debt back again. + Thus coupled together life's journey they pass'd, + Till they wrangled and jangled and parted at last; + Thus tired and weary, I've finished my course, + And glad it is bed time, and things are no worse. + + * * * * * + + On a Publican. + + Thomas Thompson's buried here, + And what is more he's in his bier, + In life thy bier did thee surround, + And now with thee is in the ground. + + * * * * * + + On a Porter, who died suddenly under a load. + + Pack'd up within these dark abodes, + Lies one in life inur'd to loads, + Which oft he carried 'tis well known, + Till Death pass'd by and threw him down. + + When he that carried loads before, + Became a load which others bore + To this his inn, where, as they say, + They leave him till another day. + + * * * * * + + On a Publican. + + A jolly landlord once was I, + And kept the Old King's Head hard by, + Sold mead and gin, cider and beer, + And eke all other kinds of cheer, + Till death my license took away + And put me in this house of clay, + A house at which you all must call, + Sooner or later, great and small. + + * * * * * + + On a Parish Clerk. + + Here lies, within this tomb so calm, + Old Giles, pray sound his knell, + Who thought no song was like a psalm, + No music like a bell. + + * * * * * + + Here lies John Adams, who received a thump + Right in the forehead from the parish pump, + Which gave him his quietus in the end, + Tho' many doctors did his case attend. + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Cumming. + + "Give me the best of men," said Death + To Nature--"quick, no humming," + She sought the man who lies beneath, + And answered, "Death, he's Cumming." + + * * * * * + + On Sir Philip Sidney. + + _England_ hath his body, for she it fed, + _Netherland_ his blood, in her defence shed; + The _Heavens_ hath his soul, + The _Arts_ have his fame, + The _Soldier_ his grief, + The _World_ his good name. + + * * * * * + +There is a touching sorrow conveyed in the following most ungrammatical +verses; evidently composed by one of the unlettered parents themselves:-- + + Beneath this stone his own dear child, + Whose gone from we + For ever more unto eternity; + Where we do hope that we shall go to he, + But him can never more come back to we. + + * * * * * + + On a Chemist. + + Here lyeth, to digest, macerate, and amalgamate + With Clay, + In Balneo Arenae + Stratum super Stratum, + The Residuum, Terra damnata, and Caput + Mortuum + Of Boyle Godfry, Chemist + And M.D. + A man, who in his earthly Laboratory + Pursued various Processes to obtain + Areanum Vitae + Or the secret to live; + Also Aurum Vitae, + Or, the art of getting, rather than making Gold. + Alchemist like, + All his Labour and Profection, + As Mercury in the Fire evaporated in Fuomo + When he dissolv'd to his first Principles, + He departed as poor + As the last Drops of an Alembic; + For riches are not poured + On the Adepts of this world. + Though fond of News, he carefully avoided + The Fermentation, Effervescence, + And Decrepitation of this Life. + Full Seventy years his exalted Essence + Was Hermetically sealed in its Terene Mattras, + But the radical Moisture being exhausted, + The Elixir Vitae spent, + And exsiccated to a Cuticle, + He could not suspend longer in his Vehicle + But precipitated Gradatim + Per Campanam. + To his Original Dust. + May that light, brighter than Bolognian + Phosphorus, Preserve him from the + Athanor, Empyremna, & + Of the other + World. + Depurate him from the Taces and Scoria of + this; + Highly Rectify'd & Volatize + His AEtheral Spirit, + Bring it over the Helm of the Retort of this + Globe, place it in a proper Recipient, + Or Chrystalline Orb, + Among the elect of the Flowers of Benjamin, + Never to be Saturated, + Till the General Resuscitation, + Deflagration, Calcination, + And Sublimation of all Things. + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Partridge, who died in May. + + What! kill a partridge in the month of May! + Was that done like a sportsman? Eh, Death, Eh? + + * * * * * + + On Du Bois, + Born in a Baggage Waggon, and killed in a Duel. + + Begot in a cart, in a cart first drew breath, + Carte and tierce were his life, and a carte was his death. + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Nightingale, Architect. + + As the birds were the first of the architect kind, + And are still better builders than men, + What wonders may spring from a Nightingale's mind, + When St. Paul's was produced by a Wren. + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Churchill. + + Says Tom to Richard, "Churchill's dead." + Says Richard, "Tom, you lie; + Old Rancour the report has spread, + But Genius cannot die." + + * * * * * + + On Foote, the Mimic and Dramatist, + Who, several years before his death, lost one of his + nether limbs. + + Here a pickled rogue lies whom we could not preserve, + Though his pickle was true Attic salt; + One Foote was his name, and one leg did him serve, + Though his wit was known never to halt. + A most precious limb and a rare precious pate, + With one limb taken off for wise ends; + Yet the hobbler, in spite of the hitch in his gait, + Never failed to take off his best friends: + Taking off friends and foes, both in manner and voice, + Was his practice for pastime or pelf; + For which 'twere no wonder, if both should rejoice + At the day when he took off himself. + + * * * * * + + On James Straw, an Attorney. + + Hic jacet Jacobus Straw, + Who forty years, Sir, followed the law, + And when he died, + The Devil cried, + "Jemmy, gie's your paw." + + * * * * * + + On Robert Sleath. + +Who kept the turnpike at Worcester, and was noted for having once +demanded toll of George III., when his Majesty was going on a visit to +Bishop Hurd. + + On Wednesday last, old Robert Sleath + Passed through the turnpike gate of death. + To him would death no toll abate, + Who stopped the King at Wor'ster gate. + + * * * * * + + On Ned Purdon. + + Here lies poor Ned Purdon, from misery free + Who long was a bookseller's hack. + He led such a damnable life in this world + I don't think he'll ever come back. + + * * * * * + + On Stephen Remnant. + + Here's a Remnant of life, and a Remnant of death, + Taken off both at once in a Remnant of breath. + To mortality this gives a happy release, + For what was the Remnant, proves now the whole piece. + + * * * * * + +A form of enigmatical epitaph is in Llandham Churchyard, Anglesea, and +has been frequently printed. From the _Cambrian Register_, 1795 (Vol. I. +p. 441), I learn that it was translated by Jo. Pulestone, Feb. 5, 1666. +The subject of it was Eva, daughter of Meredidd ap Rees ap Howel, of +Bodowyr, and written by Arthur Kynaston, of Pont y Byrsley, son of +Francis Kynaston. + + Here lyes, by name, the world's mother, + By nature, my aunt, sister to my mother; + My grandmother, mother to my mother; + My great grandmother, mother to my grandmother; + My grandfather's daughter and his mother; + All which may rightly be, + Without the breach of consanguinity. + + * * * * * + + On Robert Pemberton. + + Here lies _Robin_, but not _Robin Hood_; + Here lies _Robin_ that never did good; + Here lies _Robin_ by heaven forsak'n; + Here lies _Robin_--the devil may tak'n. + + * * * * * + + On a Stay Maker. + + Alive, unnumber'd stays he made, + (He work'd industrious night and day;) + E'en dead he still pursues his trade, + For here _his bones will make a stay_. + + * * * * * + + Brevity of life. + + Man's life's a vapour, + And full of woes; + He cuts a caper, + And down he goes. + + * * * * * + + By Boileau, the Poet. + + Here lies my wife, and Heaven knows, + Not less for mine, than her repose! + + * * * * * + + Here lies poor Thomas, and his Wife, + Who led a pretty jarring life; + But all is ended--do you see? + He holds his tongue, and so does she. + + * * * * * + + If drugs and physic could but save + Us mortals from the dreary grave, + 'Tis known that I took full enough + Of the apothecaries' stuff + To have prolonged life's busy feast + To a full century at least; + But spite of all the doctors' skill, + Of daily draught and nightly pill, + Reader, as sure as you're alive, + I was sent here at twenty-five. + + * * * * * + + Poor Jerry's Epitaph. + + Here lies poor Jerry, + Who always seem'd merry, + But happiness needed. + He tried all he could + To be something good, + But never succeeded. + He married two wives: + The first good, but somewhat quaint; + The second very good--like a saint. + In peace may they rest. + And when they come to heaven, + May they all be forgiven + For marrying such a pest. + + * * * * * + + On three infants. + + If you're disposed to weep for sinners dead, + About these children trouble not your head, + Reserve your grief for them of riper years, + They as has never sinned can't want no tears. + + * * * * * + + On a Drunkard. + + The draught is drunk, poor Tip is dead. + He's top'd his last and reeled to bed. + + * * * * * + + On a Rum and Milk Drinker. + + Rum and milk I had in store, + Till my poor belly could hold no more: + It caused me to be so fat, + My death was owing unto that. + + * * * * * + + On Joseph Crump, a Musician. + + Once ruddy and plump, + But now a pale lump, + Beneath this safe hump, + Lies honest Joe Crump, + Who wish'd to his neighbours no evil, + Who, tho' by Death's thump + He's laid on his rump, + Yet up he shall jump + When he hears the last trump, + And triumph o'er Death and the Devil. + + * * * * * + + On Sir Isaac Newton. + + Nature and Nature's laws lay hid in night, + God said, "Let Newton be!" and all was light. + + * * * * * + + An Attorney. + + Here lieth one who often lied before, + But now he lies here he lies no more. + + * * * * * + + On Peter Wilson, + Who was drowned. + + Peter was in the ocean drown'd, + A careless, hapless creature! + And when his lifeless trunk was found, + It was become Salt Peter. + + * * * * * + + Here lies the body of an honest man. + And when he died he owed nobody nothing. + + * * * * * + + Good Friend for Jesus SAKE forbeare + To diGG T--E Dust encloAsed HERE. + Blest be T--E Man Y--T spares T--Es Stones + And curst be He Y--T moves my Bones. + + * * * * * + + Underneath this stone doth lie, + As much beauty as could die; + Which, when alive, did vigour give + To as much beauty as could live. + + * * * * * + + To the memory of Mary Clow, &c. + + A vertuous wife, a loving mother, + And one esteemed by all that knew her. + + And to be short, to her praise, she was the woman that Solomon speaks + of in the xxxi. chapter of the book of Proverbs, from the 10th verse + to the end. + + * * * * * + + Old Epitaph. + + As I was so are ye, + As I am You shall be, + That I had that I gave, + That I gave that I have, + Thus I end all my cost, + That I left that I lost. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph on a Bell Ringer. + + Stephen & time now are even, + Stephen beat time, now time's beat Stephen. + + * * * * * + + Here lies + Elizabeth Wise. + She died of Thunder sent from Heaven + In 1777. + + * * * * * + + On a Family cutt off by the Small Pox. + + At once depriv'd of life, lies here, + A family to virtue dear. + Though far remov'd from regal state, + Their virtues made them truly great. + Lest one should feel the other's fall, + Death has, in kindness, seiz'd them all. + + * * * * * + +George Hardinge much indulged himself in versifying, and a curious +instance in illustration occurred at Presteigne, in the spring of 1816, a +few hours before his decease. An application was made by Messrs. +Tippens, addressed to the judge "if living, or his executors," for the +payment of a bill. The answer was penned by the Judge only three hours +prior to his death, and was as follows:-- + + "Dear Messrs. Tippens, what is fear'd by you, + Alas! the melancholy circumstance is true, + That I am dead; and, more afflicting still, + My legal assets cannot pay your bill. + To think of this, I am almost broken hearted, + Insolvent I, this earthly life departed; + Dear Messrs. T., I am yours without a farthing, + For executors and self, + + George Hardinge." + + * * * * * + + The manner of her death was thus, + She was druv over by a Bus. + + * * * * * + + Here lies Martha wife of Hugh, + Born at St Ansell's, buried at Kew, + Children in wedlock they had five, + Three are dead & two are alive, + Those who are living had much rather + Die with the Mother than live with the Father. + + * * * * * + + "The Body + of + BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, Printer, + (like the cover of an old book, + its contents torn out, + and stripped of its lettering and gilding), + lies here, food for worms; + yet the work itself shall not be lost; + for it will, as he believed, appear once more + in a new and more beautiful edition, + corrected and amended + by + THE AUTHOR!" + + * * * * * + + Singular Epitaph. + + Careless and thoughtless all my life, + Stranger to every source of strife, + And deeming each grave sage a fool, + The law of nature was my rule. + By which I learnt to duly measure + My portion of desire and pleasure. + 'Tis strange that here I lie you see, + For death must have indulged a whim, + At any time t' have thought of me, + Who never once did think of him. + + * * * * * + + On Earle the boxer. + + Here lies James Earle the Pugilist, who on the 11th of April 1788 + gave in. + + * * * * * + + She lived genteely on a small income. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph on a Gamester. + + Here lies a gamester, poor but willing, + Who left the room without a shilling, + Losing each stake, till he had thrown + His last, and lost the game to Death; + If Paradise his soul has won, + 'Twas a rare stroke of luck i'faith! + + * * * * * + + On the death of Miss Eliza More, aged 14 years. + + Here lies who never lied before, + And one who never will lie More, + To which there need be no more said, + Than More the pity she is dead, + For when alive she charmed us More + Than all the Mores just gone before. + + * * * * * + + On a Wife (by her Husband.) + + Beneath this stone lies Katherine, my wife, + In death my comfort, and my plague through life. + Oh! liberty--but soft, I must not boast; + She'll haunt me else, by jingo, with her ghost! + + * * * * * + +"Here is a gentlewoman, who, if I may so speak of a gentlewoman departed, +appears to have thought by no means small beer of herself:"-- + + A good mother I have been, + Many troubles I have seen, + All my life I've done my best, + And so I hope my soul's at rest. + + * * * * * + +On the death of a most amiable and beautiful young lady, of the name of +Peach. + + BY MR. BISSET. + + DEATH long had wish'd within his reach, + So sweet, so delicate a PEACH: + He struck the Tree--the trunk lay mute; + But _Angels_ bore away the _Fruit_! + + * * * * * + + Here lies my poor wife, + Without bed or blanket, + But dead as a door nail, + God be thanked. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph on a violent Scold. + + My spouse and I full many a year + Liv'd man and wife together, + I could no longer keep her here, + She's gone--the Lord knows whither. + + Of tongue she was exceeding free, + I purpose not to flatter, + Of all the wives I e'er did see, + None sure like her could chatter. + + Her body is disposed of well, + A comely grave doth hide her, + I'm sure her soul is not in hell, + For old Nick could ne'er abide her. + + Which makes me guess she's gone aloft, + For in the last great thunder, + Methought I heard her well known voice + Rending the skies asunder. + + * * * * * + + On a Scolding Wife who died in her sleep. + + Here lies the quintessence of noise and strife, + Or, in one word, here lies a _scolding wife_; + Had not Death took her when her mouth was shut, + He durst not for his ears have touched the _slut_. + + * * * * * + + Here lies my wife a sad slattern and shrew, + If I said I regretted her--I should lie too. + + * * * * * + + On a Scold. + + Here lies, thank God, a woman who + Quarrell'd and stormed her whole life through, + Tread gently o'er her mould'ring form, + Or else you'll raise another storm. + + * * * * * + + On a Wife (by her Husband). + + Here lies my poor wife, much lamented, + She's happy, and I'm contented. + + * * * * * + + One was our thought, One life we fought, + One rest we both intended, + Our bodies have to sleepe one grave, + Our soules to God ascended. + + * * * * * + + Conjugal Epitaph. + + Here rest my spouse, no pair through life, + So equal liv'd as we did; + Alike we shared perpetual strife, + Nor knew I rest till she did. + + * * * * * + + An Epitaph upon a Scolding Woman. + Another version. + (From an old Book of Job.) + + We lived one and twenty yeare, + Like man and wife together; + I could no longer have her heere, + She's gone, I know not whither. + If I could guesse, I doe professe, + (I speak it not to flatter) + Of all the women in the worlde, + I never would come at her. + Her body is bestowed well, + A handsome grave doth hide her, + And sure her soule is not in hell, + The fiend could ne'er abide her. + I think she mounted up on hie, + For in the last great thunder, + Mee thought I heard her voice on hie, + Rending the clouds in sunder. + + * * * * * + + Within this place a vertvous virgin lies, + Much like those virgins that were counted wise, + Her lamp of life by Death being now pvt ovt, + Her lamp of grace doth still shine rovnd abovt, + And thovgh her body here doth sleep in clay, + Yet is her sovl still watchfvl for that day, + When Christ the Bridegroom of her sovl shall come, + To take her with him to the wedding roome. + + * * * * * + + Amy Mitchell, + 1724 aged 19. + + Here lies a virgin cropt in youth, + A Xtian both in name and truth, + Forbear to mourn, she is not dead, + But gone to marry Christ her head. + + * * * * * + + On a Woman who had three Husbands. + + Here lies the body of Mary Sextone, + Who pleased three men, and never vexed one, + That she can't say beneath the next stone. + + * * * * * + + Marianne S--. + + Conjuge (i?) nunquam satis plorandae + Inane hoc, tamen ultimum, + Amoris consecrat testimonium, + Maritus, heu! superstes. + +The above Epitaph, inscribed on a plain marble tablet in a village church +near Bath, is one of the few in which the Latin language has been +employed with the brief and profound pathos of ancient sepulchral +inscriptions. + + * * * * * + + Short was her life, + Longer will be her rest; + Christ call'd her home, + Because he thought it best. + + For she was born to die, + To lay her body down, + And young she did fly, + Into the world unknown. + + 5 years & 9 months. + + * * * * * + + Here lies my wife in earthly mould, + Who when she lived did naught but scold. + Peace! wake her not for now she's still, + She _had_, but now _I_ have my will. + + * * * * * + +Epitaph written by Sarah Dobson, wife of John Dobson, to be put on her +tombstone after her decease:-- + + I now have fallen asleep--my troubles gone, + For while on earth, I had full many a one, + When I get up again--as Parson says, + I hope that I shall see some better days. + If Husband he should make a second suit + His second wife will find that he's a _brute_. + He often made my poor sad heart to sigh, + And often made me weep from _one poor eye_, + The other he knocked out by a violent blow, + As all my Kinsfolk and my Neighbours know. + I hope he will not serve his next rib so, + But if he should, will put the two together, + And through them stare while Satan tans his leather. + + * * * * * + + On Jemmy Jewell. + + 'Tis odd, quite odd, that I should laugh, + When I'm to write an epitaph. + Here lies the bones of a rakish _Timmy_ + Who was a _Jewell_ & a _Jemmy_. + + He dealt in diamonds, garnets, rings, + And twice ten thousand pretty things; + Now he supplies Old _Nick_ with fuel, + And there's an end of _Jemmy Jewell_. + + * * * * * + + On Thomas Knowles & his Wife. + + Thomas Knolles lies under this stone, + And his wife Isabell: flesh and bone + They were together nineteen year, + And ten children they had in fear. + His fader & he to this church + Many good deed they did worch. + Example by him may ye see, + That this world is but vanity; + For whether he be small or great, + All shall turn to worms' meat; + This said Thomas was lay'd on beere, + The eighth day the month Fevree, + The date of Jesu Christ truly, + Anno M.C.C.C. five & forty. + We may not pray; heartily pray he, + For our souls, Pater Noster and Ave. + The swarer of our pains lissed to be, + Grant us thy holy trinity. Amen. + + * * * * * + +On one stone, exhibiting a copy of that VERY RARE inscription beginning +with "Afflictions sore," the second line affords the following choice +specimen of orthography:--"Physicians are in vain." + + Think nothing strange, + Chance happens unto all; + My lot's to-day, + To-morrow yours may fall. + Great afflictions I have had, + Which wore my strength away; + Then I was willing to submit + Unto this bed of clay. + + * * * * * + + On Burbridge, the Tragedian. + + Exit Burbridge. + + * * * * * + + On the late Mr. Suett. + + Here lies to mix with kindred earth, + A child of wit, of Glee and Mirth; + Hush'd are those powers which gave delight; + And made us laugh in reason's spite: + Thy "gibes and jests shall now no more + Set all the rabble in a roar." + Sons of Mirth, and Humour come, + And drop a tear on Suett's Tomb; + Nor ye alone, but all who view it, + Weep and Exclaim, Alas Poor Suett. + + * * * * * + + On the Tomb of a Murdered Man. + + O holy Jove! my murderers, may they die + A death like mine--my buriers live in joy! + + * * * * * + + On a Magistrate who had formerly been a Barber. + + Here lies Justice;--be this his truest praise: + He wore the wig which once he made, + And learnt to shave both ways. + + * * * * * + + To the Memory of Nell Batchelour, + The Oxford Pye-woman. + + Here into the dust, + The mouldering crust + Of Eleanor Batchelour's shoven; + Well versed in the arts + Of pyes, custards, and tarts, + And the lucrative skill of the oven. + When she'd lived long enough + She made her last puff-- + A puff by her husband much praised; + Now here she does lie, + And makes a dirt-pye, + In hopes that her crust may be raised. + + * * * * * + + On a Volunteer. + + Here lies the gallant Captn King, + He's finished Life's review; + No more he'll stand on either wing, + For now he flies on two. + + He was a gallant Volunteer, + But now his Rifle's rusty; + No more at drill will he appear, + His uniform is dusty. + + No more he'll hear the Bugle's sound + Till Bugler Angels blow it, + Nor briskly march along the ground, + His body lies below it. + + Let's hope when at the great parade + We all meet in a cluster, + With many another martial blade + He'll readily pass muster. + + Seraphic sabre in his fist, + On heavenly drill reflective, + May he be placed upon the list, + Eternally effective. + + * * * * * + + On a Sailor. + Written by his messmate. + + Here is honest Jack--to the lobsters a prey, + Who lived like a sailor free hearty and gay, + His riggings well fitted, his sides close and tight, + His bread room well furnished, his mainmast upright; + When Death, like a pirate built solely for plunder, + Thus hail'd Jack in a voice loud as thunder, + "Drop your peak my old boy, and your topsails throw back! + For already too long you've remain'd on that tack." + Jack heard the dread call, and without more ado, + His sails flatten'd in and his bark she broach'd to. + + * * * * * + + Laconic Epitaph. + + Snug. + + * * * * * + + On a Seaman. + + My watch perform'd, lo here at rest I lay, + Not to turn out till resurrection day. + + * * * * * + + Laconic Epitaph on a Sailor. + + I caught a feaver--weather plaguey hot, + Was boarded by a Leech--and now am gone to pot. + + * * * * * + + On an honest Sailor. + + Whether sailor or not, for a moment avast; + Poor Tom's mizen topsail is laid to the mast; + He'll never turn out, or more heave the lead; + He's now all aback, nor will sails shoot ahead; + He ever was brisk, &, though now gone to wreck, + When he hears the last whistle he'll jump upon deck. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph on a Sailor. + + Tom Taugh lies below, as gallant arous. + + * * * * * + + On a Man who was killed by a blow from a Sky Rocket. + + Here I lie, + Killed by a Sky + Rocket in my eye. + + * * * * * + + On a Post Boy, who was killed by the overturning of a Chaise. + + Here I lays, + Killed by a Chaise. + + * * * * * + + Here lies I no wonder I'se dead, + For a broad wheeled Waggon went over my head + + * * * * * + + On a Miser. + + Here lies one for medicine would not give + A little gold, and so his life he lost; + I fancy now he'd wish to live again, + Could he but know how much his funeral cost. + + * * * * * + + On a Miser. + + Iron was his chest, + Iron was his door, + His hand was iron, + And his heart was more. + + * * * * * + + On a Miser. + + Here lies old father GRIPE, who never cried "_Jam satis_;" + 'Twould wake him did he know, you read his tombstone gratis. + + * * * * * + + On an Old Covetous Usurer. + + You'd have me say, here lies T. U. + But I do not believe it; + For after Death there's something due, + And he's gone to receive it. + + * * * * * + + On an Usurer. + + Here lies ten in the hundred + In the ground fast ram'd, + 'Tis an hundred to ten, + But his soul is damned. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph on the grave of a Smuggler killed in a fight with Revenue + Officers. + + Here I lies + Killed by the XII. + + * * * * * + + On a Miser. + + Here lies one who lived unloved, and died unlamented; who denied + plenty to himself, and assistance to his friends, and relief to the + poor; who starved his family, oppressed his neighbours, and plagued + himself to gain what he could not enjoy; at last Death, more merciful + to him than he was to himself, released him from care, and his family + from want; and here he lies with the grovelling worm, and with the + dirt he loved, in fear of a resurrection, lest his heirs should have + spent the money he left behind, having laid up no treasure where moth + and rust do not corrupt, nor thieves break through and steal. + + * * * * * + + On John D'Amory, the Usurer. + + Beneath this verdant hillock lies + Demar the wealthy and wise. + His Heirs, that he might safely rest, + Have put his carcase in a Chest. + The very Chest, in which, they say + His other Self, his Money, lay. + And if his Heirs continue kind + To that dear Self he left behind, + I dare believe that Four in Five + Will think his better self alive. + + * * * * * + + On William Clay. + + A long affliction did my life attend, + But time with patience brought it to an end, + And now my body rests with Mother clay, + Until the joyful resurrection day. + + * * * * * + + Written on Montmaur, + A man of excellent memory, but deficient in judgment. + + In this black surtout reposes sweetly, Montmaur of + happy memory, _awaiting his judgement_. + + * * * * * + + On an Invalid. + Written by Himself. + + Here lies a head that often ached; + Here lie two hands that always shak'd; + Here lies a brain of odd conceit; + Here lies a heart that often beat; + Here lie two eyes that dimly wept, + And in the night but seldom slept; + Here lies a tongue that whining talk'd;-- + Here lie two feet that feebly walked; + Here lie the midriff and the breast, + With loads of indigestion prest; + Here lives the liver full of bile, + That ne'er secreted proper chyle; + Here lie the bowels, human tripes, + Tortured with wind and twisting gripes; + Here lies the livid dab, the spleen, + The source of life's sad tragic scene, + That left side weight that clogs the blood, + And stagnates Nature's circling flood; + Here lies the back, oft racked with pains, + Corroding kidneys, loins, and reins; + Here lies the skin by scurvy fed, + With pimples and irruptions red; + Here lies the man from top to toe, + That fabric fram'd for pain and woe. + + * * * * * + + On Sir John Vanbrugh. + + Lie heavy on him, earth! for he + Laid many heavy loads on thee. + + * * * * * + +The following Epitaph was written by Shakespeare on Mr. Combe, an old +gentleman noted for his wealth and usury:-- + + "_Ten in the hundred_ lies here ingraved: + 'Tis a hundred to ten his soul is not saved: + If any man ask, Who lies in this tomb? + Oh! oh! QUOTH THE DEVIL, 'TIS MY JOHN-A-COMBE." + + * * * * * + + On Dr. Fuller. + + Here lies _Fuller's_ earth. + + * * * * * + + On a Card-maker. + + His card is cut; long days he shuffled through + The game of Life; he dealt as others do. + Though he by honours tells not its amount, + When the last trump is played his tricks will count. + + * * * * * + + On a Man and his Wife. + + Stay, bachelor, if you have wit, + A wonder to behold: + Husband and wife, in one dark pit, + Lie still and never scold. + + Tread softly tho' for fear she wakes;-- + Hark, she begins already: + You've hurt my head;--my shoulder akes; + These sots can ne'er move steady. + + Ah friend, with happy freedom blest! + See how my hopes miscarry'd: + Not death can give me rest, + Unless you die unmarry'd. + + * * * * * + + Here lie the remains of Thomas Woodhen, + The most amiable of Husbands, and the most excellent of men. + + "_N.B._--The name is Woodcock, but it would'nt come in rhyme!" + + * * * * * + + On Marshal Sare. + +N.B.--The figures are to be pronounced in French as un, deux, trois, etc. + +Ses vertus le feront admire de chac 1 +Il avait des Rivaux, mais il triompha 2 +Les Batailles qu'il gagna sont au nombre de 3 +Pour Louis son grand coeur se serait mis en 4 +En amour, c'etait peu pour lui d'aller a 5 +Nous l'aurions s'il n'eut fait que le berger Tir' 6 +Pour avoir trop souvent passe douze "Hie-ja" 7 +Il a cesse de vivre en Decembre 8 +Strasbourg contient son corps dans un Tombeau tout 9 +Pour tant de "Te Deum" pas un "De profun" 10 + --- + He died at the age of 55 + +_a_. Tircis, the name of a celebrated Arcadian shepherd. + +_b_. A great personage of the day remarked that it was a pity after the +Marshal had by his victories been the cause of so many "Te Deums," that +it would not be allowed (the Marshal dying in the Lutheran faith) to +chant one "de profundis," over his remains. + + * * * * * + + On Thomas Jones. + + Here for the nonce, + Came _Thomas Jones_, + In St. Giles's Church to lye; + Non Welch before, + None Welchman more, + Till Show Clerk dy. + + He tole his bell, + He ring his knell. + He dyed well, + He's sav'd from hell, + And so farewell, + + Tom Jones. + + * * * * * + +On Dr. Walker, who wrote a book called "Particles:"-- + + Here lie Walker's Particles. + + * * * * * + + The tomb of Keats the Poet. + + This grave contains + all + that was mortal + of a + young English Poet, + who + on his death bed, + in the bitterness of his heart + at the malicious power of his enemies, + desired these + words to be engraved on his tombstone: + "Here lies one + whose name was writ in water." + February 24, 1821. + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Quin. + + Says Epicure Quin, Should the devil in hell, + In fishing for men take delight, + His hook bait with ven'son, I love it so well, + Indeed I am sure I should bite. + + * * * * * + + Here lies Sir John Plumpudding of the Grange, + Who hanged himself one morning for a change. + + * * * * * + +On John Bell. + + I Jocky Bell o' Braikenbrow, lyes under this stane, + Five of my awn sons laid it on my wame; + I liv'd aw my dayes, but sturt or strife, + Was man o' my meat, and master o' my wife. + If you done better in your time, than I did in mine, + Take this stane aff my wame, and lay it on o' thine. + + * * * * * + + On Mr. Havard, Comedian. + + "An honest man's the noblest work of God." + + Havard from sorrow rest beneath this stone; + An honest man--beloved as soon as known; + However defective in the mimic art, + In real life he justly played his part! + The noblest character he acted well, + And heaven applauded when the curtain fell. + + * * * * * + + On Robin Masters, Undertaker. + + Here lieth Robin Masters--Faith 'twas hard + To take away our honest Robin's breath; + Yet surely Robin was full well prepared, + Robin was always looking out for death. + + * * * * * + + On an Undertaker. + + Subdued by death, here death's great herald lies, + And adds a trophy to his victories; + Yet sure he was prepared, who, while he'd breath, + Made it his business to look for death. + + * * * * * + + On a Cobler. + + Death at a cobler's door oft made a stand, + And always found him on the mending hand; + At last came Death, in very dirty weather, + And ripp'd the sole from off the upper leather. + Death put a trick upon him, and what was't? + The cobler called for's awl, Death brought his last. + + * * * * * + + On a Dustman. + + Beneath yon humble clod, at rest + Lies Andrew, who, if not the best, + Was not the very worst man; + A little rakish, apt to roam; + But not so now, he's quite at home, + For Andrew was a _Dustman_. + + * * * * * + + Here lies the body of John Cole, + His master loved him like his soul; + He could rake hay--none could rake faster, + Except that raking dog, his master. + + * * * * * + + Mr. Langford, Auctioneer. + + So, so, Master Langford, the hammer of Death + Hath knock'd out your brains, and deprived you of breath; + 'Tis but tit for tat, he who puts up the town, + By Devil or Death must at last be knock'd down. + + * * * * * + + On a man named Stone. + + Jerusalem's curse was not fulfilled in me, + For here a stone upon a Stone you see. + + * * * * * + + On Thomas Day. + + Here lies Thomas Day, + Lately removed from over the way. + + * * * * * + + Epitaph by Burns. + (On a man choked by a piece of bread!) + + Here I lie, killed by a crumb, + That wouldn't go down, nor wouldn't up come. + + * * * * * + + On John Treffry, Esq. + + Here in this Chancel do I lye, + Known by the name of John Treffry. + Being born & made for to die; + So must thou, friend, as well as I. + Therefore good works be sure to try, + But chiefly love & Charity; + And still on them with faith rely, + To be happy eternally. + +This was put up during his life, who was a whimsical man. He had his +grave dug, & lay down and swore in it, to show the sexton a novelty, +_i.e._, a man swearing in his grave. + + * * * * * + + On -- Hatt. + + By Death's impartial scythe was mown + Poor Hatt--he lies beneath this stone; + On him misfortune oft did frown, + Yet Hatt ne'er wanted for a crown; + When many years of constant wear + Had made his beaver somewhat bare, + Death saw, and pitying his mishap, + Has given him here a good long nap. + + * * * * * + + Here I, Thomas Wharton, do lie, + With Lucifer under my head, + And Nelly my wife hard bye, + And Nancy as cold as lead. + + O, how can I speak without dread + Who could my sad fortune abide? + With one devil under my head, + And another laid close on each side. + + * * * * * + + On William Jones, a Bone Collector + + Here lie the bones of William Jones, + Who when alive collected bones, + But Death, that grisly bony spectre, + That most amazing bone collector, + Has boned poor Jones so snug and tidy, + That here he lies in bona fide. + + * * * * * + + The late Rev. John Sampson, of Kendal. + Sacrum + + In memoriam viri doctissimi et clerici, Joannis Sampson, + olim hujusce sacelli ministri, itemque ludi literarii apud + Congalum triginta septem fere annos magistri seduli; + hoc marmor ponendum quidam discipulus praeceptorem + merens curavit. + Ob: An: aetatis suae LXXVII; A.D. MDCCCXLIII. + Foris juxta januam e dextra introeunti sepultum est + corpus. + Problemata plurima geometrica proposuit ac solvit; ad + haec accedunt versus haud pauci, latine et manu sua + scripti; quorum exemplum infra insculptum est; adeo + ut Christiano tum mentem, tum viri fidem cognoscere + liceat. + + "[Greek text]." + + "Quandocunque sophos clarus sua dogmata profert, + "Nil valet [Greek text], ni documenta daret;" + "At mihi cum Christus loquitur, verum, via, vita, + "Tum vero fateor sufficit [Greek text]." + + * * * * * + +Epitaph on the Mareschal Comte de Ranzan, a Swede, who accompanied +Oxenstiern to Paris, and was taken into the French service by Louis XIII. +He died of hydrophobia in 1650. He had been in innumerable battles, had +lost an eye and two limbs, and his body was found to be entirely covered +with scars. + + Stop, passenger! this stone below + Lies half the body of Ranzan: + The other moiety's scattered far + And wide o'er many a field of war; + For to no land the hero came, + On which he shed not blood and fame. + Mangled or maim'd each meaner part, + One thing remain'd entire--his heart. + + * * * * * + + At Arlington, near Paris. + + Here lie + Two grandmothers, with their two granddaughters + Two husbands with their two wives, + Two fathers with their two daughters, + Two mothers with their two sons, + Two maidens with their two mothers, + Two sisters with their two brothers. + Yet but six corps in all lie buried here, + All born legitimate, & from incest clear. + +The above may be thus explained:-- + +Two widows, that were sisters-in-law, had each a son, who married each +other's mother, and by them had each a daughter. Suppose one widow's +name Mary, and her son's name John, and the other widow's name Sarah, and +her son's James; this answers the fourth line. Then suppose John married +Sarah, and had a daughter by her, and James married Mary, and had a +daughter also, these marriages answer the first, second, third, fifth, +and sixth lines of the epitaph. + + * * * * * + + Sudden and unexpected was the end + Of our esteemed and beloved friend. + He gave to all his friends a sudden shock + By one day falling into Sunderland Dock. + + * * * * * + + At Sakiwedel. + + Traveller, hurry not, as if you were going _post_-haste; in the most + rapid journey you must stop at the _post_ house. Here repose the + bones of MATTHIAS SCHULZEN, the most humble and most faithful + _Postmaster_, for upwards of Twenty-five years, of His Majesty, + Frederick, King of Prussia. He arrived 1655; and afterwards + travelled with distinction in life's pilgrimage, by walking courses + in the Schools and Universities. He carefully performed his duties + as a Christian, and when the _post_ of misfortune came, he behaved + according to the _letter_ of divine consolation. His body, however, + ultimately being enfeebled, he was prepared to attend the signal + given by the _post_ of death; when his soul set off on her pleasing + journey for Paradise, the 2nd of June, 1711; and his body afterwards + was committed to this silent tomb. Reader, in thy pilgrimage through + life, be mindful of the prophetic _post_ of Death! + + * * * * * + + Dear Husband, now my life is past, + And I am stuck in Earth so fast, + I pray no sorrow for me take, + But love my Children, for my sake;-- + + * * * * * + + Hamburgh. + + "O Mors Cur Deus Negat Vitam + be te bis nos bis nam." + + Solution. + + O! Superbe! Mors Super--te! + Cur Superbis? + Deus Supernos! negat Superbis + Vitam Supernam. + + * * * * * + +On the Duke of Burgundy's tomb in St. George's Church, near Conde:-- + + "Carolus hoc busto Burgundae gloria gentis, + Conditur, Europae qui fuit ante timor." + + * * * * * + +Near the left wall in the Protestant-ground at Rome is a monument to Lord +Barrington, and a tombstone to the infant child of Mr. William Lambton:-- + + Go thou, white in thy soul, and fill a throne + Of innocence and purity in heaven! + + * * * * * + + Silo Princeps Fecit. + +T I C E F S P E C N C E P S F E C I T +I C E F S P E C N I N C E P S F E C I +C E F S P E C N I R I N C E P S F E C +E F S P E C N I R P R I N C E P S F E +F S P E C N I R P O P R I N C E P S F +S P E C N I R P O L O P R I N C E P S +P E C N I R P O L I L O P R I N C E P +E C N I R P O L I S I L O P R I N C E +P E C N I R P O L I L O P R I N C E P +S P E C N I R P O L O P R I N C E P S +F S P E C N I R P O P R I N C E P S F +E F S P E C N I R P R I N C E P S F E +C E F S P E C N I R I N C E P S F E C +I C E F S P E C N I N C E P S F E C I +T I C E F S P E C N C E P S F E C I T + +At the entrance of the Church of St. Salvador in the city of Oviedo, in +Spain, is a most remarkable tomb, erected by a prince named Silo, with +this very curious Latin inscription which may be read 270 ways by +beginning with the capital letter S in the centre. + + * * * * * + +On a tombstone in the churchyard at Hochheim, a village where one of the +best species of Rhenish is produced, and from the name of which our +generic Hock is derived:-- + + This grave holds Caspar Schink, who came to dine, + And taste the noblest vintage of the Rhine; + Three nights he sat, and thirty bottles drank, + Then lifeless by the board of Bacchus sank. + One only comfort have we in the case,-- + The trump will raise him in the proper place. + + * * * * * + + Here lies Peg, that drunken sot, + Who dearly loved her jug and pot; + There she lies, as sure as can be, + She killed herself by drinking brandy. + + * * * * * + + Calcutta. + + Bene: + AT. HT, Hi S: ST-- + Oneli: E: Skat. . + He, Ri, N. eg. Rayc-- + (Hang'd) + . F . R. + O! mab. V, Syli, Fetol-- + IF . . Ele: + (SSCL) + Ayb... Year. + . Than. + Dcl--Ays + : Hego. + Therpel: + . Fand. + No, WS. He: stur + N'D to Ear, + TH, h, Ersel + Fy! EWE: EP.... + In: G. F. R: IE: N + D. S. L. + Et, mea D + V: I + Sea: ...... Batey. + O! V: rg..... + RiE .... Fan. + . D. D. + RYY. O! V.R.E + Yes. F.O.R W: H + . ATa. + Vai .... LS. a. flo. + O! do. F. Tea. R. + SW: Hok: No: WS: + Buti. nar. U. + No! Fy: Ear, SI: N. + SO: Metal: + L. Pit. c. + HERO: . . r. Bro, a: + D. P. + ANS, Hei + N. H. + Ers. Hop. ma: + Y. B. + Ea: Gai .... N. . + + * * * * * + +The following was written by Capt. Morris on Edward Heardson, thirty +years Cook to the Beef Steak Society. + + His last _steak_ done; his fire rak'd out and dead, + _Dished_ for the worms himself, lies _honest Ned_: + _We_, then, whose breasts bore all his _fleshly toils_, + Took all his _bastings_, and shared all his _broils_; + Now, in our turn, a _mouthful carve_ and _trim_, + And _dress_ at Phoebus' _fire_, one _scrap_ for him:-- + His heart which well might grace the noblest grave, + Was grateful, patient, modest, just, and brave; + And ne'er did earth's wide maw _a morsel_ gain + Of _kindlier juices_ or more tender _grain_; + His tongue, where duteous friendship humbly dwelt, + Charmed all who heard the faithful zeal he felt; + Still to whatever end his _chops_ he mov'd, + 'Twas all _well seasoned_, _relished_, and approv'd: + This room his heaven!--When threatening Fate drew nigh + The closing shade that dimm'd his ling'ring eye, + His last fond hopes, betray'd by many a tear, + Were--That his life's last _spark_ might glimmer here; + And the last words that choak'd his parting sigh-- + "Oh! at your feet, dear masters, let me die!" + + * * * * * + + Ann Short. + + Ann _Short_, O Lord, of praising thee, + Nothing I can do is right; + Needy and naked, poor I be, + _Short_, Lord, I am of sight: + How _short_ I am of love and grace! + Of everything I'm _short_, + Renew me, then I'll follow peace + Through good and bad report. + + * * * * * + + Under this stone lies Meredith Morgan, + Who blew the bellows of our Church organ; + Tobacco he hated, to smoke most unwilling, + Yet never so pleased as when pipes he was filling; + No reflection on him for rude speech could be cast, + Tho' he gave our old organist many a blast. + No puffer was he, + Tho' a capital blower; + He could fill double G, + And now lies a note lower. + + * * * * * + +In the Cathedral of Sienna, celebrated for its floor inlaid with the +History of the New Testament, is the following singular Epitaph, probably +placed there as a _memento to Italian Toby Philpots_:-- + + "Wine gives life; it was death to me, I could not behold the dawn of + morning in a sober state. Even my bones are now thirsty. Stranger, + sprinkle my grave with wine; empty the flaggons and come. Farewell + Drinkers!" + + * * * * * + + Over a grave in Prince Edward's Island. + + Here lies the body of poor Charles Lamb, + Killed by a tree that fell slap bang. + + * * * * * + + Here lies the body of Gabriel John, + Who died in the year of a thousand and one; + Pray for the soul of Gabriel John, + You may if you please, + Or let it alone; + For its all one + To Gabriel John, + Who died in the year of a thousand and one. + + * * * * * + + Here lies John Bunn, + Who was killed by a gun; + His name wasn't Bun, his real name was Wood, + But Wood wouldn't rhyme with gun, so I thought Bun should. + + * * * * * + + In Memory of + THE STATE LOTTERY, + the last of a long line + whose origin in England commenced + in the year 1569, + which, after a series of tedious complaints, + _Expired_ + on the + 18th day of October, 1826. + During a period of 257 years, the family + flourished under the powerful protection + of the + British Parliament; + the minister of the day continuing to + give them his support for the + improvement of the revenue. + As they increased, it was found that their + continuance corrupted the morals, + and encouraged a spirit + of speculation and gambling among the + lower classes of the people; + thousands of whom fell victims to their + insinuating and tempting allurements. + Many philanthropic individuals + in the Senate + at various times for a series of years, + pointed out their baneful influence + without effect, + His Majesty's Ministers + still affording them their countenance + and protection. + The British Parliament + being at length convinced of their + mischievous tendency, + HIS MAJESTY GEORGE IV., + on the 9th July, 1823, + pronounced sentence of condemnation + on the whole race; + from which time they were almost + NEGLECTED BY THE BRITISH PUBLIC. + Very great efforts were made by the + Partisans and friends of the family to + excite + the public feeling in favour of the last + of the race, in vain: + it continued to linger out the few + remaining + moments of its existence without attention + or sympathy, and finally terminated + its career, unregretted by any + virtuous mind. + + * * * * * + + 'Twas by a fall I caught my death; + No man can tell his time or breath; + I might have died as soon as then + If I had had physician men. + + * * * * * + + On a Grocer. + + Garret some call'd him, + but that was too hye; + His name is Garrard + who now here doth lie; + Weepe not for him, + since he is gone before + To heaven, where Grocers + there are many more. + + * * * * * + + THE END. + + * * * * * + + * * * * * + + F. PICKTON, Printer, Perry's Place, 29 Oxford Street. + + + + +NOTES. + + +{48} A crown. + +{80a} The stone joins to the south wall of the church, under one of the +spouts. + +{80b} Rufford Abbey, then the seat of Sir George Saville, Baronet, in +whose family the person had lived as butler. + +{90} A woman inferring that her husband is an _ass colt_. + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GLEANINGS IN GRAVEYARDS*** + + +******* This file should be named 34273.txt or 34273.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/3/4/2/7/34273 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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