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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/35389-8.txt b/35389-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4b9d331 --- /dev/null +++ b/35389-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,9177 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Why Marry?, by Jesse Lynch Williams + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Why Marry? + +Author: Jesse Lynch Williams + +Release Date: February 24, 2011 [EBook #35389] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHY MARRY? *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + +WHY MARRY? + + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + HELEN: You're about the most conceited man I ever knew. + ERNEST: How can I help it, when you admire me so? [_Page_ 94. + ] + + + + WHY MARRY? + + (Originally published under the title + "And So They Were Married") + + BY + JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS + + [Illustration] + + ILLUSTRATED + + + [Illustration: Banner Play Bureau + 111 Ellis Street + San Francisco, California] + + + PUBLISHED BY + CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + + + COPYRIGHT, 1914, 1918, BY + CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + _Published October, 1914_ + + _New and revised edition published April, 1918_ + _Reprinted September, 1918; February, 1919_ + + + [All rights strictly reserved--including amateur acting rights.] + + + [Illustration] + + + + TO + HARRIET AND JAMES LEES LAIDLAW + + + + +WHY MARRY? + + +A Comedy in Three Acts + + New York: Astor Theatre: Produced by Selwyn & Company, Dec. 25, + 1917, under the direction of Roi Cooper Megrue. + + The scene is a week-end at a country house not far away; the time, + Saturday afternoon, Sunday morning, and Sunday evening. + + +THE PEOPLE AT THE HOUSE (As You Meet Them) + + JEAN, the host's younger sister, who has been brought + up to be married and nothing else LOTUS ROBB + + REX, an unmarried neighbor, who has not been brought + up to be anything but rich HAROLD WEST + + LUCY, the hostess, who is trying her best to be "just + an old-fashioned wife" in a new-fashioned home, BEATRICE BECKLEY + + UNCLE EVERETT, a Judge, who belongs to the older + generation and yet understands the new--and + believes in divorce NAT C. GOODWIN + + COUSIN THEODORE, a clergyman and yet a human being, + who believes in everything--except divorce, ERNEST LAWFORD + + JOHN, who owns the house and almost every one in + it--and does not believe in divorce EDMUND BREESE + + HELEN, the host's other sister, whom every one wants + to marry, but who doesn't want to marry any one, ESTELLE WINWOOD + + ERNEST, a scientist, who believes in neither divorce + nor marriage but makes a great discovery SHELLEY HULL + (By arrangement with George C. Tyler) + + THE BUTLER RICHARD PITMAN + + THE FOOTMAN WALTER GOODSON + + + + +ADVANCE NOTICE BY THE AUTHOR + + +One afternoon shortly before the New York "opening" of this comedy a +most estimable lady sat down to make me a cup of tea. + +"Now, do tell me, what is your play about?" she inquired with +commendable enthusiasm. For, being a true woman, she had early achieved +the becoming habit of letting members of the superior sex talk about +themselves. + +"'Why Marry?'" said I, "tells the truth about marriage." + +"Oh, why," she expostulated, "why write unpleasant plays?" + +"But it is not 'unpleasant.'" + +"Then it isn't true!" she exclaimed. "That is, I mean--I mean--did you +say cream or lemon?" + +And in the pause which accompanied the pouring of the cream I detected +the look of one realizing too late that it is always better to think +before speaking. + +This little incident, it seemed to me, epitomizes charmingly the +attitude of "our nicest people" toward our fundamental institution. The +truth about marriage must be unpleasant. Therefore, tell us something +we know isn't true. It will be so much nicer for our young people. + +It is to be feared, however, that young people who go to see "Why +Marry?" in the hope of being shocked do not get their money's worth. I +have heard of but two persons who have been scandalized by this play, +and they were both old people. One was a woman in the country who had +not seen it, but had read the title, and so wrote several indignant +letters about it. The other was an elderly bachelor of the type which +finds useful occupation in decorating club windows like geraniums. He +took his niece to see it, and, deciding at the end of Act II that the +play was going to be unpleasant in Act III, took her home at once. The +next afternoon she appeared at the matinée with a whole bevy of her own +generation and saw the rest of the play. I asked her later if it had +shocked any of them. + +"Oh, no," she replied, "we are too young to be shocked." + +That little incident also struck me as socially significant. There never +were two generations inhabiting the same globe simultaneously with such +widely separated points of view. + + * * * * * + +For several years after this play was first published no theatrical +manager on Broadway would produce it. I don't blame them, I want to +thank them for it. I doubt if this sort of thing could have appealed to +many theatre-goers then, especially as my young lovers are trying to be +good, not bad. "Self-expression" and "the right to happiness" do not +enter into their plans. The causes of their courageous and, of course, +mistaken decision are unselfish and social motives, however futile and +antisocial the results would have been had not their desperate +determination been thwarted.... When this play was first published most +people were not thinking along these lines. Such ideas were considered +radical then. They will soon be old-fashioned--even on the stage. + +Kind and discriminating as the critics have been in regard to this +comedy (a discriminating critic being, of course, one who praises your +play), few of them have seen the point which I thought I was making +emphatically clear, namely, that we can't cure social defects by +individual treatment. Not only the lovers, but all the characters in +this play are trying to do right according to their lights. There is no +villain in this piece. At least the villain remains "off stage." Perhaps +that is why so few see him. You are the villain, you and I and the rest +of society. We are responsible for the rules and regulations of the +marriage game. Instead of having fun with human nature, I tried to go +higher up and have fun with human institutions. + +I say "tried," because apparently I did not succeed. The joke is on me. +Still, I can get some amusement out of it: for a great many people seem +to like this play who would be indignant if they knew what they were +really applauding. They think they are merely enjoying "satire on human +nature." Now, it is a curious fact that you can always curse human +nature with impunity; can malign it, revile it, boot it up and down the +decalogue, and you will be warmly praised. "How true to life!" you are +told. "I know some one just like that." (It is always some one else, of +course.) But dare lay hands on the Existing Order--and you'll find +you've laid your hands on a hornet's nest. + +You see, most people do not want anything changed--except possibly the +Law of Change. They do not object to finding fault with mankind because +"you can't change human nature," as they are fond of telling you with an +interesting air of originality. But laws, customs, and ideals can be +changed, can be improved. Therefore they cry: "Hands off! How dare you!" +Man made human institutions, therefore we reverence them. Whereas human +nature was merely made by God. So we don't think so much of it. We are +prejudiced, like all creators, in favor of our own creations. After all, +there is excellent precedent for such complacency. Even God, we are +informed, pronounced his work "all very good" and rested on the seventh +day. + + * * * * * + +Pretty nearly everything in the play as acted is in the book as +published; but by no means all that is in the book could possibly be +enacted on the stage in two hours and a half. One scene, a breakfast +scene between John and his wife, has been amplified for acting, but all +the other scenes as printed here have been shortened for stage purposes +and one or two cut out entirely. + +The "set" was changed to represent the loggia, instead of the terrace, +of John's "little farm." Outdoor scenes are not supposed to be good for +comedy. Walls, or a suggestion of them, produce a better psychological +effect for the purpose, besides making it possible to speak in quieter, +more intimate tones than when the voice spills out into the wings and up +into the paint loft. + +Near the end of the play a number of relatives, rich and poor, are +supposed to arrive for dinner and for influencing by their presence the +recalcitrant couple. That is the way it is printed and that is how it +was acted during the first few weeks of the Chicago run. But though the +family may have its place in the book, it proved to be an awful nuisance +on the stage. No matter how well these minor parts might be acted (or +dressed), their sudden irruption during the last and most important +moments of the performance distracted the audience's attention from the +principal characters and the main issue. It was not clear who was who. +Programmes fluttered; perplexity was observed.... So we decided that the +family must be destroyed. It is always a perplexing problem to devise a +substitute for the family. + + JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS. + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + + HELEN: You're about the most conceited man I ever knew. + ERNEST: How can I help it, when you admire me so? _Frontispiece_ + + FACING PAGE + ALL: Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce? + JUDGE: Because, damn it, I don't like her 30 + + + JUDGE: You poor little pessimists! Human nature + to-day is better than it ever was, but our most + important institution is worse--the most sacred + relationship in life has become a jest in the + market-place 204 + + + JUDGE: We thought we believed in trial marriage. + Nothing of the sort--trial separation! What + marriage put asunder divorce has joined together 230 + + + + +ACT I + + +"And So They Were Married" + + + + +ACT I + + + _Up from the fragrant garden comes a girl, running. She takes the + broad terrace steps two at a stride, laughing, breathless, fleet + as a fawn, sweet as a rose. She is hotly pursued by a boy, + handsome, ardent, attractively selfish, and just now blindly + determined to catch the pretty creature before she gains the + protecting shelter of home. She is determined to let him but not + to let him know it.... There, she might have darted in through the + open door, but it is such a cold, formal entrance; she pretends to + be exhausted, dodges behind a stone tea-table, and, turning, faces + him, each panting and laughing excitedly; she alluring and + defiant, he merry and dominant._ + + _She is twenty-five and he is a year or two older, but they are + both children; in other words, unmarried._ + + +REX + +Think I'll let you say that to me? + + +JEAN + +[_making a face at him_] + +Think I'm afraid of you! + + +REX + +Take it back, I tell you. + + +JEAN + +I won't. + + +REX + +I'll make you. + + +JEAN + +[_with a dance step_] + +Think so, do you? + + +REX + +I warn you. + + +JEAN + +Booh-woo! + + [_He makes a feint to the right, then dashes to the left and + catches her._ + + +REX + +[_triumphantly_] + +Now!... You would, would you? + + +JEAN + +[_struggling_] + +Let me go. + + +REX + +I couldn't think of it. + + +JEAN + +[_seizes his hands to free herself--can't_] + +You're so strong--it isn't fair. + + +REX + +You're so sweet--it isn't fair. + + [_Smiling down at her struggles, rejoicing in his strength, her + weakness, he gently draws her near._ + + +JEAN + +[_knows what is coming_] + +No, Rex. + + +REX + +Yes. + + +JEAN + +You mustn't. + + +REX + +But I will. + + [_He laughs and kisses her lightly on the cheek. Therefore + she struggles furiously. Therefore he does it again. And + again. Suddenly he enfolds her completely and kisses her + passionately--cheeks, mouth, eyes--until she gasps in + alarm. Laughter has gone from them now._ + + +JEAN + +Oh, please!... some one will come. + + +REX + +[_with the intoxication of such moments_] + +I don't care who comes--I love you. + + +JEAN + +No ... let me go. + + +REX + +Not till you kiss me, Jean. [_JEAN hesitates, brushes his cheek lightly +with her lips, and in pretty confusion tries to escape._] Not till you +say you love me, Jean. [_Eyes hidden in his coat, she bobs her head. He +laughs and loves it._] Say it! + + +JEAN + +I--er--do. + + +REX + +Do _what_?... _Say_ it!... + + [_She cannot. He swings her about, bringing her face close to his._ + + +JEAN + +I love you, Rex. Are you sure you love me? + + +REX + +Am I sure! You irresistible little-- + + [_Begins to kiss her. Masculine triumph._ + + +JEAN + +And want to marry me, Rex? + + +REX + +[_stops--startled--had not thought of that_] + +Why--er--of course. What did you suppose! + + [_Drops his eyes, sobered._ + + +JEAN + +[_feminine triumph_] + +And me "a penniless orphing"? + + +REX + +[_fascinated by the way she says it, he laughs. Then, his honor +touched_] + +Why, what kind of a man do you take me for! + + [_And wants her lips again._ + + +JEAN + +[_giving herself to him, head sinks upon his shoulder_] + +Then, oh, Rex, love me and be nice to me and--and take me away from all +this! + + [_She covers her face with her hands and sobs. He pats her + tenderly, with a manly look on his face._ + + _LUCY comes up from the garden. She is dressed in white with a + garden hat, a garden basket filled with flowers in one hand, long + scissors in the other. She is JOHN'S wife, the mistress of the + house, sister-in-law to JEAN; conspicuously a "sweet" woman, + affectedly so, a contrast with JEAN'S more modern, less delicate + charm. JEAN is frank and brave, LUCY indirect and timid, pretty + but fading, forty but fighting it._ + + +JEAN + +[_laughing_] + +It's all right, Lucy--we're engaged! + + +LUCY + +Well, I should hope so! + + [_Shoots a look at JEAN, "So?"_ + + +REX + +[_recovering himself_] + +I have often tried to thank you and good old John for letting me come +over here so much, but now! How can I _ever_ thank you? See-what-I-mean? + + +LUCY + +I'll tell you how. Behave yourself after you are married to John's +little sister. + + +JEAN + +Rex, have you had a fearful past? How fascinating! + + +REX + +I'm going to have a glorious future, all right. + + +JEAN + +Not unless you do as I tell you. Going to obey me, Rex? + + +REX + +You bet I am. + + +JEAN + +Then begin now. Go!... Get out! [_She pushes REX, laughing and +protesting, toward the garden._] I want to tell Lucy how nice you are. +Run along over to the golf club, and by and by--if you _are_ a good +boy--you can take me out in your new car. [_REX kisses the hand on his +arm and leaves, laughing._] My dear, he has five cars! Thank you so +much. + + [_Alone, they throw off the mask worn before men._ + + +LUCY + +Now, deary, tell me all about it. How did it happen? + + +JEAN + +Oh, I simply followed your advice. + + +LUCY + +Picked a quarrel with him? + + +JEAN + +[_laughing_] + +Yes. I pretended to believe in woman suffrage! + + +LUCY + +Good! They hate that. + + +JEAN + +I told him all men were bullying brutes! + + +LUCY + +They are! And then you ran away? + + +JEAN + +Of course. + + +LUCY + +And he after you? + + +JEAN + +Of course. + + +LUCY + +And you let him catch you? + + +JEAN + +Of cour--well ... he caught me. + + [_They both laugh._ + + +LUCY + +I can guess the rest. + + +JEAN + +Why, it didn't take five minutes. + + +LUCY + +And now it's to last through all eternity.... Isn't love wonderful? + + +JEAN + +Um-hum. Wonderful. + + [_They begin to cull out the flowers._ + + +LUCY + +But you do love him, dear, don't you? + + +JEAN + +[_arranging flowers_] + +I did then. I don't now. Why is that, Lucy? + + +LUCY + +Oh, but you will learn to love him. [_Jean shrugs, drops flowers, and +turns away._] Now, now! no worrying--it brings wrinkles! [_Patting +Jean's shoulder._] Rex is just the sort to give the woman he adores +everything in the world. + + +JEAN + +[_wriggling out of LUCY'S embrace_] + +I am not the woman he adores. + + +LUCY + +Why, Jean! He's engaged to you. + + +JEAN + +But he's in love with my sister. You know that as well as I do. + + +LUCY + +[_uncomfortably_] + +Oh, well, he was once, but not now. Men admire these independent women, +but they don't marry them. Nobody wants to marry a sexless freak with a +scientific degree. + + +JEAN + +Oh, what's the use, Lucy? He's still wild about Helen, and she still +laughs at him. So you and John have trotted out the little sister. Why +not be honest about it. + + +LUCY + +Well, I may be old-fashioned, but I don't think it's nice to talk this +way when you're just engaged. + + +JEAN + +Here comes your "sexless freak"--not with a degree, either. + + +LUCY + +[_following JEAN'S gaze_] + +With a man! + + +JEAN + +[_smiling_] + +With _my_ man. + + [_HELEN, with REX bending toward her eagerly, appears. She is a + beautiful woman of twenty-nine, tall, strong, glorious--plenty of + old-fashioned charm, despite her new-fashioned ideas. She is + dressed in a tennis costume and is swinging a racquet._ + + +REX + +But they told me you were going to stay abroad all winter. + + +HELEN + +My work, Rex--I had to get back to work. + + +REX + +Work!... You are too good to work. + + +JEAN + +[_amused, not jealous_] + +Is this your high-powered car, Rex? Have you learned to run it yet? + + +REX + +[_startled_] + +But ... well ... you see, I met Helen on the way. See-what-I-mean? + + +JEAN + +[_laughing_] + +Oh, we see. + + +REX + +But I hadn't seen her for so long. I thought--[_Looks from HELEN to +JEAN_] ... wait, I'll get the car. + + [_He hurries off._ + + +LUCY + +[_to JEAN_] + +Why couldn't she have stayed abroad! + + +JEAN + +Helen, don't talk about your work before Lucy--it shocks her. + + +HELEN + +Oh, very well; make it my 'career'! + + +JEAN + +[_arm around HELEN_] + +Sssh!--that's worse. + + +LUCY + +Helen, dear, I deem it my duty to tell you that you are being talked +about. + + +HELEN + +Lucy, dear, do you always find your true happiness in duty? + + +LUCY + +Well, if you think you are going back to that horrid place again ... +after what happened that night? John won't hear of it. + + +HELEN + +If the Baker Institute of Medical Experiment is not a respectable place +you should make John resign as trustee. + + [_She laughs it off._ + + +LUCY + +John is trustee of--oh, nearly everything. That makes it all the worse. +It isn't as if you had to work. + + +HELEN + +Oh, but John is so rich now, his credit can stand it. And you oughtn't +to mind! Why, some of our most fashionable families now contain freaks +like me. It's becoming quite smart, just as in former days one of the +sons would go into the Church or the navy. + + +LUCY + +Well, of course, I am old-fashioned, but going down-town every day with +the men,--it seems so unwomanly. + + +HELEN + +But wasn't I womanly for years? Instead of going down-town and working +with highbrows, I stayed up-town and played with lowbrows--until I was +bored to death. + + +LUCY + +[_sighs_] + +Yes, that's what comes of going to college, leaving the home, getting +these new ideas. All the same, Helen, the men, really nice men, don't +like it. + + +HELEN + +Well, you see, I don't like really nice men, so that makes it agreeable +all around. + + +LUCY + +If it were only art or music or something feminine, but that awful +laboratory! How can a lady poison poor, innocent little monkeys? + + +HELEN + +If I were a lady I'd _dine_ with monkeys.... Do you know what the word +means, Lucy? In Anglo-Saxon times "lady" meant "one who gives loaves"; +now, one who _takes_ a loaf. + + +LUCY + +Very clever, my dear, but some day you'll be sorry. No man, Helen, likes +a woman to have independent views. + + +JEAN + +Helen can afford to have independent views; she has an independent +income--she earns it. + + +LUCY + +Independent income! Her salary wouldn't pay for your hats. + + +JEAN + +All the same, I wish I had gone to college; I wish I had learned a +profession. + + +LUCY + +What have these New Women accomplished? Just one thing: they are +destroying chivalry! + + +HELEN + +Not entirely, Lucy, not entirely. For instance, I am the best assistant +Ernest Hamilton has, but the worst paid; the others are all men. Hurray +for chivalry! + + +LUCY + +Well, I'm just an old-fashioned wife. Woman's sphere is the home. My +husband says so. + + +HELEN + +But suppose you haven't any husband! What can a spinster do in the home? + + +LUCY + +_Stay_ in it--till she gets one! That's what the old-fashioned spinster +used to do. + + +HELEN + +The old-fashioned spinster used to spin. + + +LUCY + +At any rate, the old-fashioned spinster did not stay out of her home all +night and get herself compromised, talked about, sent abroad! Or, if she +did, she knew enough to remain abroad until the gossip blew over. + + [_Lucy turns to leave._ + + +HELEN + +[_mischievously_] + +Ah, that wonderful night! [_LUCY turns back, amazed._] The night we +discovered the Hamilton antitoxin, the night that made the Baker +Institute famous! And, just think, I had a hand in it, Lucy, a hand in +the unwomanly work of saving children's lives! But, of course, an +old-fashioned spinster would have blushed and said: "Excuse me, Doctor +Hamilton, but we must now let a year's work go to waste because you are +a man and I am a woman, and it's dark outdoors!" ... That's the way to +preserve true chivalry. + + +LUCY + +You think we can't see through all this? Science--fiddlesticks! The +good-looking young scientist--that's why you couldn't stay abroad. We +see it, John sees it, and now every one will see it. Then how will you +feel? + + +HELEN + +Ernest _is_ rather good-looking, isn't he? + + +LUCY + +Do you think your brother will let you marry a mere scientist!... Oh, +well, Doctor Hamilton is in love with his work--fortunately.... Besides, +he's a thoroughbred; he wouldn't even look at a girl who throws herself +at his head. + + +HELEN + +So I needn't try any longer? Too bad. + + +LUCY + +[_losing her temper and going_] + +Oh, you New Women are quite superior, aren't you?... Thank heavens, +little Jean didn't elbow _her_ way into men's affairs; she had no +unwomanly ambitions for a career! But she is engaged to Rex Baker! + + +HELEN + +Jean, is this true? + + +LUCY + +[_triumphantly_] + +_Marriage_ is woman's only true career. + + +HELEN + +Jean! You can't, you won't, you mustn't marry Rex! + + +LUCY + +[_flouncing out_] + +"She who will not when she may," my dear! + + +JEAN + +[_avoiding HELEN'S eyes_] + +Lucy hears John coming--he'd take her head off if she weren't there to +meet him. [_HELEN only looks at her._] He bullies and browbeats her +worse than ever. I can't stand it here much longer. It's getting on my +nerves. + + +HELEN + +Jean! You care for Rex no more than I do. + + +JEAN + +[_still evasive_] + +John's bringing out Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore. My dear, the +whole family is up in the air about you. + + +HELEN + +Oh, I can take care of myself, but you!... Jean, you're not the sort to +marry Rex or any other man, unless you simply can't live without him. + + +JEAN + +[_after a little pause_] + +Well ... how can I live without him--without some man? You can support +yourself. I can't. + + +HELEN + +But you wouldn't live on a man you didn't really love! + + +JEAN + +Why not? Lucy does; most wives live on men they don't really love. To +stop doing so and get divorced is wrong, you know. + + +HELEN + +Jean, Jean, poor little Jean! + + +JEAN + +Well, I'd rather have domestic unhappiness of my own than watch other +people's all my life. + + +HELEN + +I don't like to hurt you, dear, but--[_Takes JEAN'S face and raises +it._] How about that nice boy at the Harvard Law School? + + +JEAN + +Don't! [_Controls herself, then, in a low voice_] Bob is _still_ at the +Law School, Helen. + + +HELEN + +Can't you wait, dear? + + +JEAN + +He never asked me to, Helen. + + +HELEN + +He would, if you let him. + + +JEAN + +It wouldn't be fair. It takes so long to get started. Everything costs +so much. Why, nowadays, men in the professions, unless they have private +means, can't marry until nearly _forty_. When Bob is forty I'll be +forty, Helen. + + +HELEN + +Ah, but when a girl really cares! + + +JEAN + +Helen, do _you_ know? + + +HELEN + +Never mind about me--you! + + +JEAN + +Oh, we'll get over it, I suppose.... People do! Some day, perhaps, +he'll smile and say: "Just think, I once loved _that_ fat old thing!" +[_Suddenly changes to sobbing._] Helen! when Rex caught me and kissed +me I shut my eyes and tried to think it was Bob. + + +HELEN + +[_takes JEAN in her arms_] + +You can't keep on thinking so, dear. + + +JEAN + +But that isn't the worst! When he held me fast and I couldn't get away, +I began ... to forget Bob ... to forget everything ... [_Breaks off, +overcome with shame._] But not now, not now! It's not the same thing at +all. [_Buries face in HELEN'S breast and sobs it out._] Oh, I feel like +the devil, dear.... And all this time he doesn't really want me--he +wants you, you! I trapped him into it; I trapped him! + + +HELEN + +And I know Rex--he's a good sport; he'll stick to it, if you do, +dear--only you won't! You've caught him by playing on his worst--don't +hold him by playing on his best! + + +JEAN + +But what shall I do? I'm nearly twenty-six. I've got to escape from home +in some way. + + +HELEN + +But what a way! + + [_REX returns._ + + +REX + +Ready, Jean? [_To HELEN._] Lucy and John and your Cousin Theodore are in +there having a fine, old-fashioned family fight with the judge. + + +HELEN + +With Uncle Everett? What about? + + +REX + +They shut up when they saw me. All I heard was the parson--"Marriage is +a social institution." Grand old row, though. [_A BUTLER and FOOTMAN +appear, wheeling a tea-wagon._] Looks as if they were coming out here. + + +HELEN + +Then I am going in. [_Detaining JEAN._] You will follow my advice? + + +JEAN + +[_apart to HELEN_] + +Oh, I don't know. Soon or late I must follow the only profession I have +learned. + + [_JEAN leaves with REX. HELEN watches them, sighs, and goes in. + The SERVANTS arrange the tea-table and go into the house._ + + _LUCY comes out, followed by her husband, JOHN, and the JUDGE, who + is UNCLE EVERETT, and COUSIN THEODORE._ + + _JOHN, the masterful type of successful American business man; + well set up, close-cropped mustache, inclined to baldness; keen + eye, vibrant voice, quick movements, quick decisions, quick + temper._ + + _UNCLE EVERETT is a genial satirist with a cynical tolerance of + the ways of the world, which he understands, laughs at, and rather + likes._ + + _COUSIN THEODORE, a care-worn rector, who, though he buttons his + collar behind, likes those who don't; a noble soul, + self-sacrificing and sanctified, but he does not obtrude his + profession upon others--never talks shop unless asked to do so, + and prides himself upon not being a bigot._ + + _They are continuing an earnest discussion, with the intimate + manner of friendly members of the same family. JOHN, LUCY, and + THEODORE deeply concerned; UNCLE EVERETT detached and amused._ + + +THEODORE + +But, Uncle Everett, hasn't Aunt Julia always been a good wife to you? + + +JUDGE + +Quite so, quite so, a good wife, Theodore, a good wife. + + +LUCY + +And a _devoted_ mother to your children, Uncle Everett? + + +JUDGE + +Devoted, Lucy, devoted. + + +JOHN + +She has always obeyed you, Uncle Everett. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, John--a true, old-fashioned woman. + + +THEODORE + +She has been a great help to me in the parish work, Uncle Everett. + + +JUDGE + +An earnest worker in the vineyard, Theodore--in fact, I might say, a +model female. + + +ALL + +Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce? + + +JUDGE + +Because, damn it, I don't like her! + + +LUCY + +But think of poor Aunt Julia! + + +JUDGE + +But, damn it, she doesn't like _me_. + + +THEODORE + +[_wagging head sadly_] + +Ah, yes, I suppose there has been fault on both sides. + + +JUDGE + +Not at all! No fault on either side.... Both patterns of Christian +fortitude to the end! We still are. Just listen to this telegram. + + +LUCY + +[_puzzled_] + +From Aunt Julia? + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + ALL: Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce? + JUDGE: Because, damn it, I don't like her.] + + +JUDGE + +Yes from Aunt Julia in Reno. Not used to travelling without me; knew I'd +worry. Thoughtful of her, wasn't it? [_Puts on glasses._] A night +letter. Much cheaper; your Aunt Julia was always a frugal wife. Besides, +she never could keep within ten words. [_Reads._] "Arrived safely. +Charming rooms with plenty of air and sunlight. Our case docketed for +March 15th. Wish you were here to see the women in Divorcee +Row--overdressed and underbred." Rather neat, eh? "Overdressed and +underbred." "I should love to hear _your_ comments on the various +types." Now, isn't that sweet of her? Well, you know, I always _could_ +make her laugh--except when I made her cry. "Write soon. With love. +Julia." Now [_folds telegram_], isn't that a nice message? From a wife +suing for divorce? You happily married people couldn't beat that. + + [_Pats telegram and pockets it tenderly._ + + +JOHN + +[_like a practical business man_] + +But if there's no other woman, no other man--what's it all about? + + +JUDGE + +She likes her beefsteak well done; I like mine underdone. She likes one +window open--about so much [_indicates four inches_]; I like all the +windows open wide! She likes to stay at home; I like to travel. She +loves the opera and hates the theatre; I love the theatre and hate the +opera. + + +THEODORE + +Stop! aren't you willing to make a few little sacrifices for each other? +Haven't you character enough for that? + + +JUDGE + +We've been making sacrifices for twenty-five years, a quarter of a +century! Character enough to last us now.... Why, I remember the first +dinner we had together after we were pronounced man and wife, with a +full choral service and a great many expensive flowers--quite a smart +wedding, Lucy, for those simple days. "Darling," I asked my blushing +bride, "do you like tutti-frutti ice-cream?" "I adore it, dearest," she +murmured. I hated it, but nobly sacrificed myself and gave her +tutti-frutti and gained character every evening of our honeymoon! Then +when we got back and began our "new life" together in our "little home," +my darling gave _me_ tutti-frutti and indigestion _once a week_ until I +nearly died! + + +LUCY + +But why didn't you tell her? + + +JUDGE + +I did; I did. Got chronic dyspepsia and struck! "_You_ may adore this +stuff, _darling_," I said, "but I hate it." "So do I, dearest," says +she. "Then why in thunder have you had it all these years, +_sweetheart_?" "For your sake, _beloved_!" And that tells the whole +story of our married life. We have nothing in common but a love of +divorce and a mutual abhorrence of tutti-frutti. "Two souls with but a +single thought, two hearts that beat as one!" It has been the dream of +our lives to get apart, and each has nobly refrained for the other's +sake. And all in vain! + + +JOHN + +Bah! All a cloak to hide his real motive. And he knows it! + + +JUDGE + +[_after a painful pause_] + +I may as well confess. [_Looks around to see if overheard. Whispers._] +For over twenty years I--I have broken my marriage vow! [_LUCY drops her +eyes. THEODORE aghast. JOHN wags head._] So has your Aunt Julia! + + +THEODORE + +No! not that! + + +JUDGE + +Well, we solemnly promised to love each other until death did us part. +We have broken that sacred vow! I don't love _her_; she doesn't love +_me_--not in the least! + + +JOHN + +Rot! A matured, middle-aged man, a distinguished member of the +bar--break up his home for that? Damned rot! + + +JUDGE + +Right again, John. That's not why I'm breaking up my home. I prefer my +club. What does the modern home amount to? Merely a place to leave your +wife. + + +LUCY + +Of course, it doesn't matter about the poor little wife left at home. + + +JUDGE + +Wrong, Lucy, it does matter. That's why I _stayed_ at home and was bored +to death with her prattle about clothes and the opera, instead of dining +at the club with my intellectual equals, picking up business there, +getting rich like John, supplying her with _more_ clothes and a whole +_box_ at the opera, like yours, Lucy. + + +LUCY + +[_shoots a glance at her husband_] + +Oh, that's the way you men _always_ talk. It never occurs to you that +business, business, _business_ is _just_ as much of a bore to us! + + +JUDGE + +Wrong again! It did occur to _me_--hence the divorce! She couldn't stand +seeing _me_ bored; I couldn't stand seeing _her_ bored. Once we could +deceive each other; but now--too well acquainted; our happy home--a +hollow mockery! + + +THEODORE + +You ought to be ashamed! I love my home! + + +JOHN + +So do I. + + [_He glances sternly at LUCY._ + + +LUCY + +[_nervously_] + +So do I. + + +JUDGE + +All right. Stick to it, if you love it. Only, don't claim credit for +doing what you enjoy. I stuck to my home for a quarter of a century and +disliked it the whole time. At last I'm free to say so. Just think of +it, Lucy, free to utter those things about marriage we all know are true +but don't dare say! Free to be honest, John! No longer a hypocrite, no +longer a liar! A soul set free, Theodore--two souls, in fact. "Two souls +with but a single thought----" + + +THEODORE + +Stop! You have _children_ to consider, not merely your own selfish +happiness! + + +LUCY + +Yes, think of Tom and little Julia! + + +JUDGE + +We did ... for a quarter of a century--sacrificed everything to them, +even our self-respect; but now--what's the use? We are childless now. +Tom and Julia have both left us for "little homes" of their own to love. + + +THEODORE + +Ah, but don't you want them to have the old home to come back to? + + +JUDGE + +"No place like home" for children, eh? You're right--can't have too much +of it. Most children only have _one_ home. Ours will have _two_! When +they get bored with one they can try the other. + + +THEODORE + +But, seriously, Uncle Everett--"Whom God hath joined together!" + + +LUCY + +[_clasping JOHN'S arm_] + +Yes, Uncle Everett, marriages are made in heaven. + + +JUDGE + +I see; quite so; but your Aunt Julia and I were joined together by a +pink parasol made in Paris. + + +JOHN + +What rot! Stop your fooling and speak the truth, man. + + +JUDGE + +Just what I'm doing--that's why you think I'm fooling. A very pretty +parasol--but it wasn't made in heaven. You see, God made poor, dear +Julia pale, but on that fatal day, twenty-five years ago, the pink +parasol, not God, made her rosy and irresistible. I did the rest--with +the aid of a clergyman, whom I tipped even more liberally than the +waiter who served us tutti-frutti. Blame _me_ for it, blame her, the +parasol, the parson, but do not, my dear Theodore, blame the Deity for +our own mistakes. It's so blasphemous. + + [_A pause. LUCY takes place at the tea-table to serve tea._ + + +LUCY + +And to think we invited _you_, of all people, here to-day of all days! +[_To JOHN._] We mustn't let Rex know. The Bakers don't believe in +divorce. + + +JOHN + +What's this? You don't mean that Jean----? + + +LUCY + +Yes! Just in time--before he knew Helen was back. + + +JOHN + +[_jumps up_] + +She's landed him! She's landed him! We're marrying into the Baker +family! The Baker family! [_Shaking hands right and left._] Why, she'll +have more money than any of us!... Well, well! We'll all have to stand +around before little Jean now!... My, my! Lucy, you're a wonder! Those +pearls--I'll buy them; they're yours! Hurray for Lucy! + + [_Kisses_ LUCY. + + +LUCY + +[_feeling her importance_] + +Now, if I could only get _Helen_ out of this awful mess and safely +married to some nice man! + + +JUDGE + +[_sipping his tea_] + +Meaning one having money? + + +THEODORE + +The Hamiltons are an older family than the Bakers, Lucy, older than our +own. + + +JUDGE + +Meaning they _once_ had money. + + +JOHN + +[_still pacing to and fro_] + +Waste a beauty on a bacteriologist? A crime! + + +THEODORE + +See here, John, Ernest Hamilton is the biggest thing you've got in the +Baker Institute! One of the loveliest fellows in the world, too, and if +you expect me--why did you ask us here, anyway? + + +JUDGE + +Far as I can make out, we're here to help one of John's sisters marry a +man she doesn't love and prevent the other from marrying the man she +does. + + +JOHN + +Oh, look here: I've nothing against young Hamilton.... I _like_ +him--proud of all he's done for the institute. Why, Mr. Baker is tickled +to death about the Hamilton antitoxin. But, Theodore, this is a +practical world. Your scientific friend gets just two thousand dollars a +year!... Lucy, send for Helen. + + [_LUCY goes obediently._ + + +JUDGE + +Well, why not give the young man a raise? + + +JOHN + +Oh, that's not a bad salary for scientists, college professors, and that +sort of thing. Why, even the head of the institute himself gets less +than the superintendent of my mills. No future in science. + + +JUDGE + +Perfectly practical, Theodore. The superintendent of John's mills saves +the company thousands of dollars. These bacteriologists merely save the +nation thousands of babies. All our laws, written and unwritten, value +private property above human life. I'm a distinguished jurist and I +always render my decisions accordingly. I'd be reversed by the United +States Supreme Court if I didn't. We're all rewarded in inverse ratio to +our usefulness to society, Theodore. That's why "practical men" think +changes are "dangerous." + + +JOHN + +Muck-raker! + + +JUDGE + +It's all on a sliding scale, John. For keeping up the cost of living you +and old man Baker get ... [_Stretches arms out full length._] Heaven +only knows how much. For saving the Constitution I get ... a good deal. +[_Hands three feet apart._] For saving in wages and operating expenses +your superintendent gets so much. [_Hands two feet apart._] For saving +human life Ernest Hamilton gets that. [_Hands six inches apart._] For +saving immortal souls Theodore gets--[_Holds up two forefingers an inch +apart._] Now, if any one came along and saved the world---- + + +THEODORE + +[_interrupts_] + +They crucified Him. + + +JOHN + +Muck-raker, muck-raker. + + +LUCY + +[_returning_] + +Tried my best, John, but Helen says she prefers to talk with you alone +some time. + + +JOHN + +[_furious_] + +She "prefers"? See here! Am I master in my own house or not? + + +JUDGE + +But Helen is a guest in it now. No longer under your control, John. +She's the New Woman. + + +THEODORE + +John, _you_ can't stop that girl's marrying Ernest, if she wants to; +he's head over heels in love with her. + + +LUCY + +What! We thought he was in love with his work! + + +THEODORE + +He thinks there's no hope for him, poor boy. + + +LUCY + +[_to JOHN_] + +And she is mad about him! + + +JOHN + +[_to LUCY_] + +And he is on the way out here now! + + +THEODORE + +What! He's coming to see her? + + +JOHN + +No, no, thinks she's still in Paris--so she was when I invited him, damn +it--but something had to be done and done delicately. That's why I +invited you two. + + +JUDGE + +[_bursts out laughing_] + +Beautiful! These lovers haven't met for a month, and to-night there's a +moon! + + +THEODORE + +[_also laughs_] + +You may as well give in, John. It's the simplest solution. + + +LUCY + +[_timidly_] + +Yes, John, she's nearly thirty, and think how she treats all the _nice_ +men. + + +JOHN + +Who's doing this? You go tell Helen ... that her Uncle Everett wants to +see her! + + [_Lucy shrugs, starts reluctantly, and lingers listening._ + + +THEODORE + +Now, uncle, you have more influence over her than any of us--don't let +her know about ... Aunt Julia. Helen thinks the world of you. + + +JUDGE + +Of course not, never let the rising generation suspect the truth about +marriage--if you want 'em to marry. + + +THEODORE + +There are other truths than unpleasant truths, Uncle Everett, other +marriages than unhappy marriages. + + +JUDGE + +Want me to tell her the truth about your marriage? + + +LUCY + +[_at the door_] + +Why uncle! Even _you_ must admit that Theodore and Mary are happy. + + [_JOHN is too much surprised to notice LUCY'S presence._ + + +JUDGE + +Happy? What's that got to do with it? Marriage is a social institution. +Theodore said so.... Every time a boy kisses a girl she should first +inquire: "A sacrifice for society?" And if he says, "I want to gain +character, sweetheart," then--"Darling, do your duty!" and he'll do it. + + +LUCY + +Well, Theodore has certainly done _his_ duty by society--six children! + + +JUDGE + +Then society hasn't done its duty by Theodore--only one salary! + + +JOHN + +The more credit to him! He and Mary have sacrificed everything to their +children and the Church--even health! + + +THEODORE + +We don't need your pity! We don't want your praise! Poverty, suffering, +even separation, have only drawn us closer together. We love each other +through it all! Why, in the last letter the doctor let her write she +said, she said--[_Suddenly overcome with emotion, turns abruptly._] If +you'll excuse me, Lucy ... Sanitarium ... the telephone. + + [_THEODORE goes into the house._ + + +JUDGE + +Not praise or pity but something more substantial and, by George, I'll +get it for them! + + [_Turns to JOHN, who interrupts._ + + +JOHN + +See the example _he_ sets to society--I honor him for it. + + +JUDGE + +Fine! but that doesn't seem to restore Mary's radiant health, Theodore's +brilliant youth. + + +LUCY + +Ah, but they have their _children_--think how they adore those beautiful +children! + + +JUDGE + +No, don't think how they adore them, think how they _rear_ those +beautiful children--in the streets; one little daughter dead from +contagion; one son going to the devil from other things picked up in the +street! If marriage is a social institution, look at it socially. Why, a +marriage like mine is worth a dozen like theirs--to Society. Look at my +well-launched children; look at my useful career, as a jackal to Big +Business; look at my now perfectly contented spouse! + + +LUCY + +But if you are divorced! + + +JUDGE + +Is the object of marriage merely to stay married? + + +LUCY + +But character, think of the character they have gained. + + +JUDGE + +Oh, is it to gain character at the expense of helpless offspring? +Society doesn't gain by that--it loses, Lucy, it loses.... But simply +because, God bless 'em, "they love each other through it all," you +sentimental standpatters believe in lying about it, do you? + + +JOHN + +[_bored, whips out pocket check-book and fountain pen_] + +Oh, talk, talk, talk! Money talks for _me_.... But they're both so +confoundedly proud! + + +JUDGE + +Go on, write that check! [_JOHN writes._] They must sacrifice their +pride, John. Nothing else left to sacrifice, I'm afraid. + + +JOHN + +Well, you get this to them somehow. + + [_Hands check to JUDGE._ + + +JUDGE + +Aha! Talk did it.... Five thousand? Generous John! + + +JOHN + +[_impatiently_] + +Never mind about me. _That_ problem is all settled; now about Helen.... +Lucy! I thought I told you---- + + [_LUCY, in a guilty hurry, escapes into the house._ + + +JUDGE + +John, charity never settles problems; it perpetuates them. You can't +cure social defects by individual treatment. + + +JOHN + +[_more impatiently_] + +Does talk settle anything? + + +JUDGE + +Everything. We may even settle the marriage problem if we talk +_honestly_. [_THEODORE returns from telephoning to the sanitarium._] +Theodore, it's all right! John honestly believes in setting an example +to society! Crazy to have his sisters go and do likewise! + + +THEODORE + +Splendid, John! I knew you'd see it--an ideal match. + + +JUDGE + +[_overriding JOHN_] + +Right, Theodore, ideal. This scientific suitor will shower everything +upon her John honors and admires: A host of servants--I mean sacrifices; +carriages and motors--I mean character and morals; just what her brother +advocates in Sunday-school--for others. An ideal marriage. + + +JOHN + +[_hands in pockets_] + +You think you're awfully funny, don't you? Humph! I do more for the +Church, for education, art, science than all the rest of the family +combined. Incidentally, I'm not divorced.... But this is a practical +world, Theodore, I've got to protect my own. + + +LUCY + +[_returning_] + +Helen will be here in a minute. + + +JOHN + +[_suddenly getting an idea_] + +Ah! I have it! I know how to keep them apart! + + +THEODORE + +Be careful, John--these two love each other. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, young people still fall in love. Whether we make it hard or easy +for them--they _will_ do it. But, mark my words, unless we _reform +marriage_, there is going to be a sympathetic _strike_ against it--as +there is already against having children. Instead of making it harder to +get apart, we've got to make it easier to stay together. Otherwise the +ancient bluff will soon be called! + + +LUCY + +Sssh! Here she comes. + + +THEODORE + +_Please_ don't talk this way before her. + + +JUDGE + +All right, I'm not divorced yet,... still in the conspiracy of silence. + + [_HELEN appears at the door. A sudden silence._ + + +HELEN + +[_kissing THEODORE and JUDGE affectionately_] + +I'm _so_ sorry to hear about dear Mary. [_To JUDGE._] But why didn't +Aunt Julia come? Is she ill, too? + + [_Slight panic in the family party._ + + +JUDGE + +She's gone to Re-Re-Rio Janeiro--I mean to Santa Barbara--wants a +complete change--The Rest Cure. [_To THEODORE apart._] Lie number one. + + [_Another silence. LUCY makes tea for HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +[_taking the cup_] + +Well, go on! + + +THEODORE + +Go on with what? + + +HELEN + +[_stirring tea_] + +Your discussion of marriage. + + +LUCY + +How did you know? + + +HELEN + +Oh, it's in the air. Everybody's talking about it nowadays. + + [_She sips tea, and the others look conscious._ + + +THEODORE + +My dear, marriage is woman's only true career. + + +HELEN + +[_raising her shield of flippancy_] + +So Lucy tells me, Cousin Theodore. But a woman cannot pursue her career, +she must be pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly. + + +JUDGE + +Ahem. As we passed through the library a while ago, I think I saw your +little sister being pursued by her career. + + +HELEN + +Yes, uncle, but Jean is a true woman. I'm only a New Woman. + + +JUDGE + +All the same, you'll be an old woman some day--if you don't watch out. + + +HELEN + +Ah, yes, my life's a failure. I haven't trapped a man into a contract to +support me. + + +LUCY + +[_picks up knitting bag and does her best to look like "just an +old-fashioned wife"_] + +You ought to be ashamed! Making marriage so mercenary. Helen, dear, +haven't you New Women any sentiment? + + +HELEN + +Enough sentiment not to make a mercenary marriage, Lucy, dear. + + +JUDGE + +Ahem! And what kind of a marriage do you expect to make? + + +HELEN + +Not any, thank you, uncle. + + +JUDGE + +What! You don't believe in holy matrimony? + + +HELEN + +Only as a last extremity, uncle, like unholy divorce. + + +JUDGE + +[_jumps_] + +What do _you_ know about that? + + +HELEN + +I know all about it! [_Others jump._] I have been reading up on the +subject. + + [_All relax, relieved, but now gather about the young woman._ + + +THEODORE } + } +Come now, simply because many young people } +rush into marriage without thinking-- } + } + } +LUCY } [_Together_] + } +Simply because these New Women-- } + } + } +JOHN } + } +Simply because one marriage in a } +thousand ends in divorce-- } + + +HELEN + +Wait!... One in a thousand? Dear me, what an idealist you are, John! In +America, one marriage in every eleven now ends in divorce. And yet you +wonder why I hesitate. + + +JOHN + +One in eleven--rot! [_To JUDGE._] All this muck-raking should be +suppressed by the Government. "One in eleven!" Bah! + + +HELEN + +[_demurely_] + +The Government's own statistics, John. + + [_They all turn to the JUDGE for denial, but he nods confirmation, + with a complacent smile, murmuring: "Two souls with but a single + thought."_ + + +LUCY + +[_sweetly knitting_] + +Well, I may be old-fashioned, but it seems to _me_ that nice girls +shouldn't _think_ of such things.... Their husbands will tell them all +they ought to know about marriage--after they're married. + + +HELEN + +Ah, I see. Nice girls mustn't think until after they rush in, but they +mustn't rush in until after they think. You married people make it all +so simple for us. + + +JUDGE + +Right! The way to cure all evil is for nice people to close their minds +and mouths to it. It's "unpleasant" for a pure mind, and it "leaves a +bad taste in the mouth." So there you are, my dear. + + +JOHN + +[_coming in strong_] + +Oh, talk, talk, talk! I've had enough. See here, young lady, I offered +to pay all your expenses abroad for a year. You didn't seem to +appreciate it--well, the trustees of the institute are now to give +Doctor Hamilton a year abroad. How do you like that? + + [_All turn and look at HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +Splendid! Just what he needs! Doctor Metchnikoff told me in Paris that +America always kills its big men with routine. When do we start? + + [_She tries to look very businesslike._ + + +JOHN + +[_springing to his feet_] + +"We!" Do you think _you_ are going? + + +HELEN + +Of course! I'm his assistant--quite indispensable to him.... [_To all._] +Oh, well, if you don't believe me, ask him! + + +JOHN + +[_pacing to and fro_] + +What next! Paris! Alone, with a man!--Here's where I call a halt! + + +HELEN + +But if my work calls me, I don't really see what you have to say about +it, John. + + +JOHN + +Better not defy me, Helen. + + [_He scowls._ + + +HELEN + +Better not bully me, John. + + [_She smiles._ + + +JOHN + +I am your brother. + + +HELEN + +But not my owner! [_Then, instead of defiance, she turns with animated +interest to the others._] You know, all women used to be owned by men. +Formerly they ruled us by physical force--now by financial force.... But +at last they are to lose even _that_ hold upon us--poor dears! + + [_Pats JOHN'S shoulder playfully._ + + +JOHN + +[_amused, but serious_] + +That's all right in theory, but this is a practical world. My pull got +you into the institute; my pull can get you out. You give up this wild +idea or give up your job! + + +HELEN + +[_delighted_] + +What did I tell you? Financial force! They still try it, you see. [_To +JOHN._] What if I refused to give up either, John? + + +JOHN + +[_emphatic_] + +Then as a trustee of the institute I ask for your resignation--right +here and now! [_Turns away._] I guess _that_ will hold her at home a +while. + + +HELEN + +I simply _must_ go to Paris now. I've nothing else to do! + + +JOHN + +[_with a confident smile_] + +You will, eh? Who'll pay your expenses this time? + + +HELEN + +[_matter of fact_] + +Doctor Hamilton. + + +LUCY + +Helen! please! You oughtn't to say such things even in joke. + + +HELEN + +He'll take me along as his private secretary, if I ask him. + + [_A pause. The others look at one another helplessly._ + + +JUDGE + +John, she's got you. You might as well quit. + + +JOHN + +Nonsense. I have just begun. You'll see. + + +THEODORE + +If you're so independent, my dear, why don't you marry your scientist +and be done with it? + + +HELEN + +[_resents the intrusion but hides her feelings_] + +Can you keep a secret? [_They all seem to think they can and gather +near._] He has never asked me! + + [_The family seems annoyed._ + + +LUCY + +[_with match-making ardor_] + +No wonder, dear, he has never seen you except in that awful apron. But +those stunning dinner gowns John bought you in Paris! My dear, in +evening dress you are quite irresistible! + + +JUDGE + +[_apart to THEODORE_] + +Irresistible? Pink parasols. What a system! + + +HELEN + +But you see, I don't _want_ him to ask me. I've had all I could do to +keep him from it. + + [_The family seems perplexed._ + + +JOHN + +She's got _some_ sense left. + + +LUCY + +But suppose he did ask you, dear? + + +HELEN + +Why, I'd simply refer the matter to John, of course. If John said, "Love +him," I'd love him; if John said, "Don't love him," I'd turn it off like +electric light. + + [_The family is becoming exasperated._ + + +LUCY + +[_insinuating_] + +Oh, you can't deceive us. We know how much you admire him, Helen. + + +HELEN + +Oh, no you don't! [_The family is amazed._] Not even he does. Did you +ever hear how he risked his life in battle down in Cuba? Why, he's a +perfect hero of romance! + + +JOHN + +[_mutters_] + +Never even saw a war--mollycoddle germ killer! + + +HELEN + +Not in the war with Spain--the war against yellow fever, John.... No +drums to make him brave, no correspondents to make him famous--he merely +rolled up his sleeve and let an innocent-looking mosquito bite him. Then +took notes on his symptoms till he became delirious.... He happened to +be among those who recovered. + + [_The family is impressed._ + + +THEODORE + +Old-fashioned maidens used to marry their heroes, Helen. + + +HELEN + +[_arising, briskly_] + +But this new-fashioned hero gets only two thousand dollars a year, +Theodore. + + [_She turns to escape._ + + +JOHN + +[_nodding_] + +I told you she had sense. + + +THEODORE + +Helen! You selfish, too? Why, Mary and I married on half that, didn't +we, John? + + [_He looks around. The family looks away._ + + +HELEN + +[_with unintended emphasis_] + +Doctor Hamilton needs every cent of that enormous salary--books, travel, +scientific conferences--all the advantages he simply must have if he's +to keep at the top and do his best work for the world. The most selfish +thing a girl can do is to marry a poor man. + + [_With that she hurries up the steps._ + + +THEODORE + +[_following her_] + +All the same, deep down under it all, she has a true woman's yearning +for a home to care for and a mate to love. [_She is silently crying._] +Why, Helen, dear, what's the matter? + + +HELEN + +[_hiding her emotion_] + +Oh, why can't they let me _alone_! They make what ought to be the +holiest and most beautiful thing in life the most horrible and +dishonest. They make me hate marriage--hate it! + + [_Unseen by HELEN, the BUTLER steps out._ + + +THEODORE + +[_patting her shoulder_] + +Just you wait till the right one comes along. + + +BUTLER + +[_to LUCY_] + +Doctor Hamilton has come, ma'am. + + +HELEN + +[_with an old-fashioned gasp_] + +Good heavens! + + [_And runs to the family._ + + +LUCY + +Show Doctor Hamilton out. + + [_The BUTLER goes._ + + +HELEN + +A plot to entrap him! [_Running to and fro wildly._] But it's no use! +I'm going ... until he's gone! + + [_HELEN runs into the garden._ + + +JUDGE + +Fighting hard, poor child. + + +THEODORE + +But what'll we do? + + +JUDGE + +Don't worry--she can't stay away--the sweet thing! + + +JOHN + +Now listen, we must all jolly him up--he'll be shy in these +surroundings. + + +JUDGE + +Going to surrender, John? + + +JOHN + +What I am going to do requires finesse. + + +LUCY + +[_in a flutter, seeing HAMILTON approach_] + +Oh, dear! how does one talk to highbrows? + + +JUDGE + +Talk to him about himself! Highbrows, lowbrows, all men love it. + + [_ERNEST HAMILTON, discoverer of the Hamilton antitoxin, is a + fine-looking fellow of about thirty-five, without the spectacles + or absent-mindedness somehow expected of scientific genius. He + talks little but very rapidly and sees everything. It does not + occur to him to be shy or embarrassed "in these surroundings"--not + because he is habituated to so much luxury, on three thousand a + year, nor because he despises it; he likes it; but he likes other + things even more. That is why he works for two thousand a year, + instead of working for fat, fashionable fees in private practice._ + + _JOHN meets his distinguished guest at the door--effusively, yet + with that smiling condescension which wealthy trustees sometimes + show to "scientists, college professors, and that sort of thing."_ + + +JOHN + +Ah, Doctor Hamilton! Delighted to see you on my little farm at last. Out +here I'm just a plain, old-fashioned farmer. + + [_ERNEST glances about at the magnificence and smiles + imperceptibly. He makes no audible replies to the glad welcome, + but bows urbanely, master of himself and the situation._ + + +LUCY + +Doctor Hamilton! So good of you to come. + + +THEODORE + +How are you, Ernest? Glad to see you. + + +LUCY + +I don't think you've met our uncle, Judge Grey. + + +JUDGE + +[_humorously adopting their manner_] + +Charmed! I've heard so much about you!--from my niece. + + +LUCY + +[_to ERNEST'S rescue, like a tactful hostess_] + +A cup of tea, Doctor Hamilton? + + +ERNEST + +[_unperturbed by the reference to HELEN_] + +Thanks. + + +JOHN + +[_while LUCY makes tea. Trustee manner_] + +I have often desired to express my admiration of your heroism in the war +against yellow fever in er--ah--_Cuba_, when you let an innocent-looking +mosquito bite you---- + + +LUCY + +[_nodding and poising sugar-tongs_] + +And then took notes on your symptoms till you became delirious! + + +ERNEST + +No sugar, thanks. + + [_He looks from one to another with considerable interest._ + + +JUDGE + +No drums to make you famous, no war correspondents to make you brave--I +mean the other way round. + + +ERNEST + +[_to LUCY poising cream pitcher_] + +No cream, please. + + +JOHN + +Senator Root says this one triumph alone saves _twenty million dollars +a year_ to the business interests of the United States! I call that true +patriotism. + + +ERNEST + +[_with a nod of assent to LUCY_] + +Lemon. + + +THEODORE + +[_with sincerity_] + +General Wood says it saves more _human lives_ a year than were lost in +the whole Spanish War! I call it service. + + +JUDGE + +Colonel Goethals says the Panama Canal could not have been built if it +hadn't been for you self-sacrificing scientists. Not only that, but you +have abolished forever from the United States a scourge which for more +than a century had through periodic outbreaks spread terror, +devastation, and death. + + [_A pause._ + + +ERNEST + +[_bored, but trying to hide it_] + +The ones who deserve your praise are the four who died to prove that +theory.... [_He smiles._] Of course, you all know their names.... [_He +looks at JOHN, who looks at JUDGE, who looks at LUCY, who looks at +THEODORE. He takes up his cup._] Delicious tea. + + +THEODORE + +Ah, but they didn't do it for fame, for money--that's the beauty of the +sacrifice. + + +ERNEST + +[_with a smile_] + +Quite so.... That's what Congress told us when we suggested a pension +for the widow of the first victim. + + +ALL + +What! Did Congress refuse the pension? + + +ERNEST + +[_finishes his tea_] + +They finally voted the sum of seventeen dollars a month for the widow +and no less than two dollars a month extra for each of his children.... + + +LUCY + +Is that all? + + +ERNEST + +No.... We pestered Congress to death until, a few years ago, they +replaced the pension with an annuity of one hundred and twenty-five +dollars a month--though some of them said it was a very bad precedent to +establish. [_Returns cup to LUCY._] No more, thanks, delicious. + + [_And turns to admire the wide-sweeping view of the farm, hands in + pockets._ + + +JOHN + +[_after a pause_] + +Well, I think our scientists might well be called philanthropists. + + +ERNEST + +Hardly! You see, every one _knows_ the names of philanthropists.... +Better let it go at "scientists." + + +JUDGE + +He's right. Philanthropists don't give their lives, they give their +names--have 'em carved in stone over their institutes and libraries. + + [_JOHN approaches and joins his guest._ + + +ERNEST + +Charming little farm you have here. + + +JOHN + +Doctor Hamilton, America kills its big men with routine. You are too +valuable to the nation to lose--the trustees think you need a year +abroad. + + +ERNEST + +That's strange, I came out here to suggest that very thing.... Somebody +has been saying kind things about me in Paris. Just had a letter from +the great Metchnikoff--wants me to come over and work in the Pasteur! +Chance of a lifetime!... You didn't have to jolly me up to consent to +that! + + +JOHN + +[_pacing terrace with his guest, arm in arm_] + +By the by, my sister is rather keen on science. + + +ERNEST + +Best assistant I ever had. You can pile an awful lot of routine on a +woman. The female of the species is more faithful than the male.... +She's over there already. We can get right to work. + + +JOHN + +She'll be back before you start. + + +ERNEST + +[_stops short_] + +I didn't know that.... Well, what is it? + + [_JOHN hesitates, turns to the family, all watching with breathless + interest._ + + +THEODORE + +Don't you see, old chap, under the circumstances it would hardly do for +her to go back to Paris with you. + + +ERNEST + +Why not? + + +LUCY + +You're a man. + + +ERNEST + +[_smiling_] + +You mean I'm dangerous? + + +LUCY + +But she's a woman. + + +JUDGE + +They mean _she's_ dangerous. + + +JOHN + +My dear fellow, we are going to ask you quite frankly to decline to take +her. + + +ERNEST + +[_looks about at the circle of anxious faces. He wont let them read +him_] + +So that's it, eh?... But it's the chance of a lifetime for her, too. She +needs it more than I do. She's had so little chance to do original work. + + +JOHN + +But she's a woman. + + +ERNEST + +Just what has that to do with it? + + +JOHN + +Everything. We have the highest respect for you, Doctor Hamilton, but +also ... one must respect the opinions of the world, you know. + + +ERNEST + +[_thinks it over_] + +That's right. One must. I forgot to think of that.... It's curious, but +when working with women of ability one learns to respect them so much +that one quite loses the habit of insulting them. Too bad how new +conditions spoil fine old customs.... Suppose you let her go and let me +stay. I can find plenty to do here, I fancy. + + +JOHN + +I fear it would offend our generous benefactor, Mr. Baker. He has set +his heart on your going abroad, meeting other big men, getting new ideas +for our great humanitarian work. [_The family exchange glances while +JOHN lies on._] Besides, my sister would only go to accommodate you. She +particularly desires to stay here this winter. That's why she is +returning so soon, you see. + + +ERNEST + +[_believes it_] + +Oh, I see.... I'm sure I have no desire to _drag_ her over with me.... +[_Smiles at himself._] I rather thought the opportunity to continue our +experiments together ... but that's all right. + + +JOHN + +Then it's all settled--you agree to go alone? + + +ERNEST + +[_a slight pause_] + +Yes, alone. It's quite settled. + + +JOHN + +How soon could you start? + + +ERNEST + +[_absently_] + +How soon? Why, just as soon as I get some one to run my department. + + +JOHN + +Could my sister run it? + + +ERNEST + +[_smiles_] + +Could she run it? It can't run without her! She's as systematic as [_to +LUCY_]--as a good housekeeper. + + +JOHN + +[_with a satisfied look at the others_] + +Then _that's_ all fixed! She'll stay when I tell her that you want her +to. Could you arrange to start at once? + + +ERNEST + +[_hesitates_] + +By leaving here to-night, I could. + + +JOHN + +[_with a triumphant look at the family_] + +Then I'll telephone for your passage--I have a pull with all the +steamship lines. [_Going._] Of course I hate to cut short your week-end, +but I don't want to spoil any scientific careers. + + [_JOHN hurries in to telephone. ERNEST starts too, as if to stop + him but restrains the impulse. He stands alone by the door gazing + out over the landscape while LUCY, THEODORE, and the JUDGE discuss + him in low tones by the tea-table._ + + +LUCY + +Can't you see, you stupid men! He's crazy about her--but thinks there's +no hope. + + +THEODORE + +When she finds he's leaving for a year ... she'll change her mind about +marriage! + + [_ERNEST comes back to earth and to the house-party._ + + +JUDGE + +[_to ERNEST, joining them_] + +Ahem! We were just discussing the marriage danger--I mean the marriage +problem. + + +ERNEST + +[_with a smile_] + +Go right on--don't mind me. + + +THEODORE + +[_old-friend manner_] + +See here! When are _you_ ever going to marry? + + +ERNEST + +[_modern bachelor's laugh_] + +When am I ever going to get more than two thousand a year? + + +THEODORE + +Bah! what has money got to do with it! Just you wait till the right one +comes along. + + [_HELEN comes along, stealing up the steps from the garden on + tiptoe with the grave, absorbed look of a hunter stalking game. + She catches sight of the man she wants and stops short, as + motionless as if frozen. But not so! Her lovely hands were + poised; one of them now goes to her bosom and presses there. + There is nothing icy about this New Woman now._ + + +ERNEST + +[_as unconscious of danger as a mountain-lion on an inaccessible height, +smiles easily at his sentimental old friend THEODORE_] + +How do you know "the right one" hasn't come already? + + [_THEODORE catches sight of HELEN. She shakes her head in silent + pleading, taps a finger on her lips, and in a panic flees + noiselessly across toward the door._ + + +THEODORE + +[_suppressing a laugh_] + +Then don't let her go by! + + [_HELEN stops at the door and makes a face at THEODORE._ + + +ERNEST + +[_affecting indifference_] + +Oh, I couldn't stop her, even if I wanted to. + + +THEODORE + +[_turning to wink at HELEN_] + +How do you know? Did you ever ask her? + + +ERNEST + +To marry me? Oh, no! She hasn't any money. + + +THEODORE + +[_HELEN is dumfounded_] + +Money! You wouldn't marry for money! + + [_HELEN draws near to hear the answer._ + + +ERNEST + +You don't suppose I'd marry a woman who hadn't any? Most selfish thing +a poor man can do. + + [_HELEN is interested._ + + +THEODORE + +Oh, fiddlesticks! You modern young people-- + + +ERNEST + +[_interrupts_] + +Make her a sort of superior servant in an inferior home--not that girl! + + [_HELEN is pleased._ + + +THEODORE + +Feministic nonsense! The old-fashioned womanly woman---- + + +ERNEST + +Sentimental twaddle! What makes it more "womanly" to do menial work +_for_ men than intellectual work with them? + + [_HELEN delighted, applauds noiselessly._ + + +THEODORE + +All the same, I'll bet you wouldn't let a little thing like that stand +in your way if you really cared for a woman enough to marry her. + + +ERNEST + +[_benign and secure_] + +But, as it happens, I don't. Nothing could induce me to marry. + + [_HELEN raises her chin, her eyes glitter dangerously._ + + +THEODORE + +So you are going to run away to Europe like a coward? + + +ERNEST + +[_smiles patronizingly_] + +Theodore, you are such an incorrigible idealist! I have nothing to be +afraid of--I simply do not care to _marry_! + + +HELEN + +That's just what _I_ said! + + [_All turn and behold HELEN._ + + +ERNEST + +My heavens! + + [_He steps back like a coward._ + + +HELEN + +But I agree with you perfectly. [_She holds out her hand to him._] I was +so afraid you believed in marriage. + + [_He rushes to her eagerly._ + + +JUDGE + +[_as the lovers shake hands_] + +You wronged him. Apologize. + + +ERNEST + +Why--why--all this time, I thought _you_ had the usual attitude. + + +JUDGE + +Wronged _her_. Both apologize. + + +HELEN + +Why didn't you ever tell me you had such enlightened views? + + +ERNEST + +Why didn't you ever tell me? + + +JUDGE + +Each understands the other now. Everything lovely! + + +HELEN + +Think of the discussions we might have had! + + +JUDGE + +Not too late yet. Julia and I had discussions for a quarter of a +century. + + +HELEN + +Don't think I had any hand in this. [_Laughs._] I was going to warn you, +but now--it is unnecessary now. + + +ERNEST + +Warn me? What do you mean? + + +HELEN + +Can't you see? It was all a plot! [_LUCY draws near noiselessly._] A +plot to entrap you in marriage! They had about given me up as a bad +job. _You_ were my last hope. They were going to throw me at your head. +[_Louder but without turning._] Weren't you, Lucy dear? + + +LUCY + +[_caught listening, turns abruptly to the others_] + +These New Women are utterly shameless. + + +HELEN + +[_to ERNEST_] + +These old-fashioned women are utterly shameless. After a decent +interval, they will all with one accord make excuses to leave us here +alone, so that I can--[_she comes nearer_] ensnare you! [_ERNEST laughs +nervously._] Lucy is going to say--[_imitates LUCY'S sweet tones_]: "If +you'll excuse me, I always take forty winks before dressing." Dressing +is the hardest work Lucy has to do. Cousin Theodore will find that he +_must_ write to his wife, and Uncle Everett will feel a yearning for the +billiard room. [_ERNEST is nodding and chuckling._] They're hanging on +longer than usual to-day, and I simply must have a talk with you. + + +ERNEST + +Our shop-talk would scandalize 'em! + + +HELEN + +Wait, I'll get rid of them! + + [_She sits and begins to make tea._ + + +ERNEST + +I've had my tea, thanks. + + +HELEN + +Stupid! Sit down. [_Indicates a chair close to hers. He takes it +cautiously._] We'll have a little fun with them in a minute. + + [_She is busy now making tea._ + + +THEODORE + +[_to LUCY and the JUDGE apart_] + +You may be right, Uncle Everett, but upon my word it is the strangest +courtship I ever witnessed. + + +LUCY + +They ought to be spanked. + + +JUDGE + +Don't worry, old Mother Nature will attend to that. + + +LUCY + +Well, I may be old-fashioned, but---- + + +JUDGE + +[_interrupting_] + +But this is merely a new fashion, my dear Lucy. Nature her ancient +custom holds, let science say what it will. + + +HELEN + +[_handing cup to ERNEST with a glance at the others_] + +Now, then, be attentive to me. [_He leans toward her rather shyly, +abashed by her nearness. She makes eyes at him reproachfully._] Oh, +can't you be more attentive than that? [_She acts like a coquette and he +looks into her beautiful eyes and while he is doing so she says with a +fascinating drawl_] Now tell me a-all about anterior poliomyelitis! + + +ERNEST + +[_suddenly taken aback, he laughs_] + +Nothing doing since you left. + + [_And bends close to explain._ + + +LUCY + +If you'll excuse me, Doctor Hamilton, I always take forty winks before +dressing. We dine at eight. + + [_Going, she signals to the others. ERNEST and HELEN exchange + smiles._ + + +THEODORE + +[_laughing, to LUCY_] + +Ss't! Don't tell John what's going on! Keep him busy telephoning. [_LUCY +nods excitedly and almost runs to obey the Church._] Helen, if you and +Ernest will excuse me, I really must write to Mary. + + [_Their shoulders are close together and they seem too absorbed + to reply. THEODORE smiles down upon them and signals the JUDGE to + come along. The JUDGE, however, shakes his head but waves THEODORE + into the house. Uncle Everett looks at the lovers with quizzical + interest. He draws near and eavesdrops shamelessly._ + + +HELEN + +You oughtn't to have dropped the polio experiments. + + +ERNEST + +You oughtn't to have dropped me--right in the _midst_ of the +experiments. Those agar plates you were incubating dried up and +spoiled. You played the very devil with my data. + + +JUDGE + +God bless my soul! what are we coming to? + + +HELEN + +[_without turning_] + +It's perfectly proper for your little ears, uncle, only you can't +understand a word of it. Won't _any_ one play billiards with you? + + +JUDGE + +But I'm fascinated. It's so idyllic. Makes me feel young again. + + +HELEN + +[_to ERNEST_] + +Oh, you have plenty of men assistants who can estimate antitoxin units. + + +ERNEST + +Men assistants lose interest. They are all so confoundedly ambitious to +do original work. Why is it women can stand day after day of monotonous +detail better than men? + + +HELEN + +Because men always made them tend the home! + + +JUDGE + +Ah, nothing like a good old-fashioned love scene--in the scientific +spirit. + + +HELEN + +Uncle, dear! _Can't_ you see that he is paying me wonderful compliments? +Haven't you any tact? Go and play Canfield in the library. + + +JUDGE + +[_lighting cigar_] + +Very well, I'll leave you to your own devices--and may God, _your_ God, +have mercy on your scientific souls. + + +HELEN + +[_with sudden animation and camaraderie, thinking they are alone_] + +Now I must tell you what Doctor Metchnikoff said about you and your +future! + + +JUDGE + +Sst! [_HELEN and ERNEST turn._] My children--[_Pause--raises his +hand._] Don't forget the scientific spirit! + + [_The JUDGE saunters off into the garden, smoking._ + + +ERNEST + +How did you ever meet Metchnikoff? + + +HELEN + +[_chaffing_] + +I had worked under Hamilton! They _all_ wanted to meet me. + + +ERNEST + +[_with an unmistakable look_] + +U'm ... was that why? [_Fleeing danger._] Didn't you let them know your +part in that discovery? Why, if it hadn't been for you, I should never +have stumbled upon the thing at all. + + +HELEN + +Oh, I know my place too well for that! Talk about _artistic_ +temperament, you scientists are worse than prima donnas. + + +ERNEST + +[_takes printers' proofs out of pocket, hands them to her in silence_] + +Some proofs of a monograph I was correcting on the train. Mind +hammering those loose sentences of mine into decent English? You can +write--I can't. + + +HELEN + +[_reading innocently_] + +"Recent Experiments in Anterior Poliomyelitis by Ernest Hamilton, M.D., +Ph.D., and Helen"--what! why, you've put _my_ name with yours! + + [_Much excited and delighted._ + + +ERNEST + +Well, if you object--like a prima donna---- + + [_Takes out pencil to mark on proof._ + + +HELEN + +[_snatching proofs away_] + +Object? Why, this makes my reputation in the scientific world. + + +ERNEST + +Well, didn't you make mine? + + +HELEN + +[_still glowing with pride, but touched by his unexpected generosity_] + +You can't imagine what this means to me. It's so hard for a woman to get +any recognition. Most men have but one use for us. If we get interested +in anything but _them_ it is "unwomanly"--they call it "a fad." But +they've _got_ to take me seriously now. My name with Ernest Hamilton's! + + [_Points to her name and swaggers back and forth._ + + +ERNEST + +[_bantering_] + +But then, you see, you are a very exceptional woman. Why, you have a +mind like a man. + + +HELEN + +Like a man? [_Coming close to him, tempting him._] If you had a mind +like a woman you would know better than to say that to me! + + [_Re-enter JUDGE from garden. He smiles and glances at them. The + lovers keep quiet as he crosses to the door. Then they look at + each other and smile. JUDGE has gone into the house. It is nearly + dark. The moon is rising._ + + +ERNEST + +[_raises eyebrows_] + +They all take for granted that I want to make love to you. + + [_Smiles but avoids her eyes._ + + +HELEN + +[_avoids his_] + +Well, you took for granted that I wanted you to!... You are about the +most conceited man I ever knew. + + +ERNEST + +How can I help it when you admire me so? + + +HELEN + +I? Admire you? + + +ERNEST + +You're always telling me what great things I'm going to do--stimulating +me, pushing me along. Why, after you left, everything went slump. Tell +me, why did you leave? Was I rude to you? Did I hurt your feelings? + + +HELEN + +Not in the least. It was entirely out of respect for _your_ feelings. + + +ERNEST + +_My_ feelings? [_Laughing._] Oh, I see. You got it into your head that +_I_ wanted to marry _you_! + + +HELEN + +Men sometimes do. + + +ERNEST + +[_looks away_] + +I suppose they do. + + +HELEN + +It's been known to happen. + + +ERNEST + +Talk about conceit! Well, you needn't be afraid! I'll never ask you to +marry _me_. + + +HELEN + +[_turns and looks at him a moment_] + +You can't imagine what a weight this takes off my mind. + + [_She looks away and sighs._ + + +ERNEST + +[_enthusiastically_] + +Yes! I feel as if a veil between us had been lifted. + + [_He looks away and sighs too. Some one begins "Tristan and + Isolde" on the piano within. The moon is up._ + + +HELEN + +[_after a pause_] + +Suppose we talk about--our work. + + +ERNEST + +Yes! Our work. Let's drop the other subject. Look at the moon! + + [_Music and the moonlight flooding them._ + + +HELEN + +Seriously, you promise never to _mention_ the subject again? + + [_She keeps her eyes averted._ + + +ERNEST + +I promise. + + [_He keeps his eyes averted._ + + +HELEN + +[_turning to him with a sudden change to girlish enthusiasm_] + +Then I'll go to Paris with you! + + +ERNEST + +[_recoils_] + +What's that? + + +HELEN + +Why, Doctor Metchnikoff--he promised me he would invite you. + + +ERNEST + +Yes, but-- + + +HELEN + +Don't miss the chance of a lifetime! + + +ERNEST + +No, but you--_you_ can't come! + + +HELEN + +[_simply_] + +If you need me I can, and you just said---- + + +ERNEST + +But you mustn't come to Paris with me! + + +HELEN + +Don't you want me with you? + + +ERNEST + +You are to stay at home and run the department for me. + + +HELEN + +[_stepping back_] + +Don't you want me with you? + + +ERNEST + +[_stepping forward, with his heart in voice_] + +Do I _want_ you! [_Stops._] But I am a man--you are a woman. + + +HELEN + +What of it? Are you one of those small men who care what people say? No! +That's not your reason! [_She sees that it is not._] What is it? You +must tell me. + + +ERNEST + +[_hesitates_] + +It's only for your sake. + + +HELEN + +[_with feeling_] + +Think of all I've done for _your_ sake. You wouldn't be going yourself +but for me! I was the one to see you needed it, I proposed it to +Metchnikoff--I urged him--_made_ him ask you--for _your sake_! And now +am I to be left at home like a child because you don't care to be +embarrassed with me? + + +ERNEST + +Oh, please! This is so unfair. But I simply can't take you now. + + +HELEN + +[_with growing scorn_] + +Oh! You are all alike. You pile work upon me until I nearly drop, you +play upon my interest, my sympathy--you get all you can out of me--my +youth, my strength, my best! And then, just as I, too, have a chance to +arrive in my profession, you, of all men, throw me over! I hate men. I +hate you! + + +ERNEST + +And I love you! + + [_They stare at each other in silence, the moonlight flooding + HELEN'S face, the music coming clear._ + + +HELEN + +[_in an awed whisper, stepping back slowly_] + +I've done it! I've done it! I _knew_ I'd do it! + + +ERNEST + +No. I did it. Forgive me. I had to do it. + + +HELEN + +Oh, and this spoils everything! + + +ERNEST + +[_comes closer_] + +No! It glorifies everything! [_He breaks loose._] I have loved you from +the first day you came and looked up at me for orders. I didn't want you +there; I didn't want any woman there. I tried to tire you out with +overwork but couldn't. I tried to drive you out by rudeness, but you +stayed. And that made me love you more. Oh, I love you! I love you! I +love you! + + +HELEN + +Don't; oh, don't love me! + + +ERNEST + +[_still closer_] + +Why, I never knew there could be women like you. I thought women were +merely something to be wanted and worshipped, petted and patronized. But +now--why, I love everything about you: your wonderful, brave eyes that +face the naked facts of life and are not ashamed; those beautiful hands +that toiled so long, so well, so close to mine and not afraid, not +afraid! + + +HELEN + +You mustn't! I _am_ afraid now! I made you say it. [_Smiling and +crying._] I have always wanted to make you say it. I have always +sworn you shouldn't. + + +ERNEST + +[_pained_] + +Because you cannot care enough? + + +HELEN + +Enough?... Too much. + + +ERNEST + +[_overwhelmed_] + +You--love--me! + + [_He takes her in his arms, a silent embrace with only the bland + blasé moon looking on._ + + +HELEN + +It is because I love you that I didn't want you to say it--only I did. +It is because I love you that I went abroad--to stay, only I couldn't! I +couldn't stay away! [_She holds his face in her hands._] Oh, do you know +how I love you? No!... you're only a _man_! + + +ERNEST + +[_kissing her rapturously_] + +Every day there in the laboratory, when you in your apron--that dear +apron which I stole from your locker when you left me--when you asked +for orders--did you know that I wanted to say: "Love me"! Every day when +you took up your work, did you never guess that I wanted to take you up +in my arms? + + +HELEN + +[_smiling up into his face_] + +Why didn't you? + + +ERNEST + +Thank God I didn't! For while we worked there together I came to know +you as few men ever know the women they desire. Woman can be more than +sex, as man is more than sex. And all this makes man and woman not less +but more _overwhelmingly_ desirable and necessary to each other, and +makes both things last--not for a few years, but forever! + + [_Sound of voices approaching from the garden. The lovers + separate. It is JEAN and REX, REX laughing, JEAN dodging until + caught and kissed._ + + +JEAN + +No, no--it's time to dress.... Be good, Rex--don't! + + [_Without seeing HELEN and ERNEST, they disappear into the house. + HELEN is suddenly changed, as if awakened from a spell of + enchantment._ + + +HELEN + +What have we done! This is all moonlight and madness. To-morrow comes +the clear light of day. + + +ERNEST + +Ah, but we'll love each other to-morrow! + + +HELEN + +But we cannot marry--then or any other to-morrow. + + +ERNEST + +Can't? What nonsense! + + +HELEN + +[_shaking her head and restraining him_] + +I have slaved for you all these months--not because I wanted to win you +from your work but to help you in it. And now--after all--shall I +destroy you? No! No! + + +ERNEST + +I _love_ you--you love _me_--nothing else matters. + + +HELEN + +Everything else matters. I'm not a little débutante to be persuaded that +I am needed because I am wanted! I haven't _played_ with you; I have +_worked_ with you, and I _know_! Think of Theodore! Think of Lucy! And +now poor little Jean. Marry you? Never! + + +ERNEST + +You mean your career? + + +HELEN + +[_with supreme scorn_] + +_My_ career? No! yours--always yours! + + +ERNEST + +[_with the same scorn and a snap of the fingers_] + +Then _that_ for my career. I'll go back into private practice and make a +million. + + +HELEN + +That's just what I said you'd do. Just what you must not do! Your work +is needed by the world. + + +ERNEST + +[_wooing_] + +You are my world and I need you.... But there is no love without +marriage, no marriage without money.... We can take it or leave it. Can +we leave it? No! I can't--you can't! Come! [_She steps back slowly._] +Why should we sacrifice the best! Come! + + +HELEN + +So _this_ is what marriage means! Then I _cannot_ marry you, Ernest! + + +ERNEST + +You cannot do without me, Helen! [_Holds out his arms._] Come! You have +been in my arms once. You and I can never forget that now. We can never +go back now. It's all--or nothing now. Come! [_She is struggling against +her passion. He stands still, with arms held out._] I shall not woo you +against your will, but you are coming to me! Because, by all the powers +of earth and heaven, you are mine and I am yours! Come! + + [_Like a homing pigeon she darts into his arms with a gasp of joy. + A rapturous embrace in silence with the moonlight streaming down + upon them. The music has stopped._ + + _JOHN, dressed for dinner, strolls out upon the terrace. He stops + abruptly upon discovering them. The lovers are too absorbed to be + aware of his presence._ + + + + +ACT II + + + _It is the next morning, Sunday._ + + _It appears that at JOHN'S country place they have breakfast at + small tables out upon the broad, shaded terrace overlooking the + glorious view of his little farm._ + + _ERNEST and THEODORE, the scientist and the clergyman, are + breakfasting together. The others are either breakfasting in their + rooms or are not yet down, it being Sunday._ + + _The man of God is enjoying his material blessings heartily. Also + he seems to be enjoying his view of the man of science, who eats + little and says less._ + + +THEODORE + +[_with coffee-cup poised_] + +What's the matter with your appetite this morning, Ernest? [_ERNEST, +gazing up at one of the second-story windows, does not hear. The door +opens. He starts. Then, seeing it's only a servant with food, he +sighs._] Expecting something? The codfish balls? Well, here they are. +[_ERNEST refuses the proffered codfish balls, scowls, brings out cigar +case, lights cigar, looks at watch, and fidgets._] Oh, I know--you're +crazy to go with me--to church! [_ERNEST doesn't hear. Creates a cloud +of smoke._] Their regular rector is ill. So I agreed to take the service +this morning.... Always the way when off for a rest ... isn't it? [_No +answer. THEODORE gets up, walks around the table, and shouts in ERNEST'S +face._] Isn't it? + + +ERNEST + +[_startled_] + +I beg your pardon? + + +THEODORE + +[_laughs, ERNEST wondering what's the joke_] + +Oh, you're hopeless! [_Going._] I can't stand people who talk so much at +breakfast. + + +ERNEST + +[_suddenly wakes up_] + +Wait a minute. Sit down. Have a cigar. Let's talk about God. [_THEODORE +stops smiling._] But I mean it. I'd like to have a religion myself. + + +THEODORE + +I had an idea you took no stock in religion. + + [_Takes the cigar. ERNEST holds a match for him._ + + +ERNEST + +[_enthusiastically_] + +Just what I thought, until ... well, I've made a discovery, a great +discovery! + + +THEODORE + +A scientific discovery? + + +ERNEST + +[_with a wave of the hand_] + +It makes all science look like a ... mere machine. + + +THEODORE + +Well, if you feel so strongly about it ... better come to church after +all! + + +ERNEST + +I'm not talking about the Church--I'm talking about _religion_. + + +THEODORE + +You're not talking about religion; you're talking about--love. + + +ERNEST + +[_quietly_] + +Certainly; the same thing, isn't it? I'm talking about the divine fire +that glorifies life and perpetuates it--the one eternal thing we mortals +share with God.... If _that_ isn't religious, what is? [_THEODORE smiles +indulgently._] Tell me, Theodore--you know I wasn't allowed to go to +church when young, and since then I've always worked on the holy Sabbath +day, like yourself--does the Church still let innocent human beings +think there's something inherently wrong about sex? [_THEODORE drops his +eyes. ERNEST disgusted with him._] I see! Good people should drop their +eyes even at the mention of the word. + + +THEODORE + +Sex is a necessary evil, I admit, but---- + + +ERNEST + +[_laughs_] + +Evil! The God-given impulse which accounts for you sitting there, for me +sitting here? The splendid instinct which writes our poetry, builds our +civilizations, founds our churches--the very heart and soul of life is +evil. Really, Theodore, I don't know much about religion, but that +strikes me as blasphemy against the Creator. + + +THEODORE + +Very scientific, my boy, very modern; but the Church believed in +marriage before Science was born. + + +ERNEST + +As a compromise with evil? + + +THEODORE + +As a sacrament of religion--and so do you! + + +ERNEST + +Good! Then why practise and preach marriage as a sacrament of property? +"Who giveth this woman to be married to this man--" Women are still +goods and chattels to be given or sold, are they? + + +THEODORE + +Oh, nonsense! + + +ERNEST + +Then why keep on making them promise to "serve and obey"? Why marry them +with a ring--the link of the ancient chain? [_He smiles._] In the days +of physical force it was made of iron--now of gold. But it's still a +chain, isn't it? + + +THEODORE + +Symbols, my dear fellow, not to be taken in a literal +sense--time-honored and beautiful symbols. + + +ERNEST + +But why insult a woman you respect--even symbolically? + + +THEODORE + +[_with a laugh_] + +Oh, you scientists! + + +ERNEST + +[_joining in the laugh_] + +We try to find the truth--and you try to hide it, eh? Well, there's one +thing we have in common, anyway--one faith I'll never doubt again; I +believe in Heaven now. I always shall. + + +THEODORE + +Do you mind telling me why, my boy? + + +ERNEST + +Not in the least. I've been there. [_JOHN comes out to breakfast. He is +scowling._] Good morning; could you spare me five minutes? + + +JOHN + +[_ringing bell_] + +Haven't had breakfast yet. + + +ERNEST + +After breakfast? + + +JOHN + +I've an appointment with young Baker. + + +ERNEST + +[_smiles_] + +I'll wait my turn. + + +JOHN + +Going to be pretty busy to-day--you, too, I suppose, if you're sailing +to-morrow. + + +ERNEST + +I can postpone sailing. This is more important. + + +JOHN + +I should hate to see _anything_ interfere with your career. + + [_LUCY also arrives for breakfast. She "always pours her husband's + coffee."_ + + +ERNEST + +I appreciate your interest, but I'll look out for my "career." [_To +LUCY._] Could you tell me when your sister will be down? + + +JOHN + +[_overriding LUCY_] + +My sister is ill and won't be down at all ... until _after_ you _leave_. + + [_LUCY pretends not to hear. THEODORE walks away._ + + +ERNEST + +[_aroused, but calm_] + +I don't believe you quite understand. It is a matter of indifference to +me whether we have a talk or not. Entirely out of courtesy to you that I +suggest it. + + +JOHN + +Don't inconvenience yourself on my account. + + +ERNEST + +[_shrugs shoulders and turns to THEODORE_] + +Wait, I think I'll sit in church till train time. + + +THEODORE + +[_smoothing it over_] + +Come along. I'm going to preach about marriage! + + [_THEODORE starts off._ + + +ERNEST + +[_going, turns to LUCY_] + +Thanks for your kindness. Will you ask the valet to pack my things, +please? I'll call for them on the way to the station. [_To JOHN._] Do +you understand? I have no favors to ask of you. You don't own your +sister--she owns herself. + + [_The scientist goes to church._ + + +JOHN + +[_with a loud laugh, turns to LUCY_] + +Rather impertinent for a two-thousand-dollar man, I think. [_Resumes +breakfast, picks up newspaper. LUCY says nothing, attending to his +wants solicitously._] Bah! what does this highbrow know about the power +men of my sort can use ... when we have to? [_LUCY cringes dutifully in +silence. JOHN, paper in one hand, brusquely passes cup to LUCY with +other._] Helen got her own way about college, about work, about living +in her own apartment--but if she thinks she can put _this_ across! +Humph! These modern women must learn their place. [_LUCY, smiling +timidly, returns cup. JOHN takes it without thanks, busied in +newspapers. A look of resentment creeps over LUCY'S pretty face, now +that he can't see her._] Ah! I've got something up my sleeve for that +young woman. [_LUCY says nothing, looks of contempt while he reads._] +Well, why don't you say something? + + +LUCY + +[_startled_] + +I thought you didn't like me to talk at breakfast, dear. + + +JOHN + +Think I like you to sit there like a mummy? [_No reply._] Haven't you +_any_thing to say? [_Apparently not._] You never have any more, nothing +interesting.... Does it ever occur to you that I'd like to be +diverted?... No! + + +LUCY + +Yes.... Would you mind very much if ... if I left you, John? + + +JOHN + +Left me? When--where--how long? + + +LUCY + +[_gathering courage_] + +Now--any place--entirely. + + +JOHN + +[_bursts out laughing_] + +What suddenly put _this_ notion in your head? + + +LUCY + +I'm sorry--John, but I've had it--oh, for years. I never dared ask you +till now. + + +JOHN + +[_still glancing over paper_] + +Like to leave me, would you?... You have no grounds for divorce, my +dear. + + +LUCY + +But _you_ will have--after I leave you. + + +JOHN + +[_yawns_] + +You have no lover to leave with. + + +LUCY + +[_daintily_] + +But couldn't I just desert you--without anything horrid? + + +JOHN + +[_reads_] + +No money to desert with. + + +LUCY + +[_springs up_--_at bay_] + +You won't let me escape decently when I tell you I don't want to stay? +When I tell you I can't stand being under your roof any longer? When I +tell you I'm sick of this life? + + +JOHN + +[_gets up calmly_] + +But, you see, I can stand it. I want you to stay. I'm not sick of it. +You belong to me. + + +LUCY + +[_shrinking away as he approaches_] + +Don't touch me! Every time you come near me I have to nerve myself to +stand it. + + +JOHN + +What's got into you? Don't I give you everything money can buy? My God, +if I only gave you something to worry about; if I ran after other women +like old man Baker---- + + +LUCY + +If you only would!--Then you'd let _me_ alone. To me you are repulsive. + + +JOHN + +[_taking hold of her_] + +Lucy! You are my wife. + + +LUCY + +[_looking him straight in the eye_] + +But you don't respect me, and I--I hate you--oh, how I hate you! + + +JOHN + +[_holds her fast_] + +I am your husband, your lawful husband. + + +LUCY + +[_stops struggling_] + +Yes, this is lawful--but, oh, what laws you men have made for women! + + [_The JUDGE comes out, carrying a telegram._ + + +JUDGE + +Rather early in the day for conjugal embraces, if you should ask me. +[_JOHN and LUCY separate._] Makes me quite sentimental and homesick. + + [_JUDGE raises telegram and kisses it._ + + +LUCY + +[_calming herself_] + +From Aunt Julia again? Do you get telegrams every day from Reno? + + +JUDGE + +No, but she caught cold. Went to the theatre last night and caught a +cold. So she wired me--naturally; got the habit of telling me her +troubles, can't break it, even in Reno. + + +JOHN + +I thought she hated the theatre! + + +JUDGE + +So she does, but I'm fond of it; she went for my sake. She's got the +habit of sacrificing herself for me. Just as hard to break good habits +as bad. + + +JOHN + +True women enjoy sacrificing themselves. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, that's what we tell them. Well, we ought to know. We make 'em do +it. [_Brings out a fountain pen and sits abruptly._] That's what I'll +tell her. I can hear her laugh. You know her laugh. + + +LUCY + +[_rings for a servant_] + +A telegraph blank? + + +JUDGE + +[_with a humorous expression he brings a whole pad of telegraph blanks +out of another pocket_] + +Carry them with me nowadays. [_Begins to write._] Wish I hadn't sold my +Western Union, John. + + +JOHN + +I don't believe you want that divorce very much. + + +JUDGE + +It doesn't matter what _I_ want--what she wants is the point. You must +give the woman you marry tutti-frutti, divorces--everything.... Why, +I've got the habit myself, and God knows I don't enjoy sacrifice--I'm a +man! The superior sex! + + +JOHN + +I don't believe you appreciate that wife of yours. + + +JUDGE + +[_between the words he's writing_] + +Don't I? It isn't every wife that'd travel away out to Reno--you know +how she hates travelling--and go to a theatre--and catch a cold--and get +a divorce--all for the sake of an uncongenial husband. [_Suddenly +getting an idea, strikes table._] I know what gave her a cold. She +raised all the windows in her bedroom--for _my_ sake!--I always kept +them down for _her_ sake. I'll have to scold her. [_Bends to his writing +again._] Poor little thing! She doesn't know how to take care of herself +without me. I doubt if she ever will. + + [_Looks over telegram. A SERVANT comes, takes telegram, and goes._ + + +JOHN + +Uncle Everett, I want your advice. + + +JUDGE + +John! do _you_ want a divorce? + + +JOHN + +No, we are not that sort, are we, Lucy? [_No answer._] Are we, dear? + + +LUCY + +[_after a pause_] + +No, we are not that sort! + + +JOHN + +We believe in the sanctity of the home, the holiness of marriage. + + +LUCY + +Yes, we believe in--"the holiness of marriage!" + + [_Turns away, covering her face with her hands and shuddering._ + + +JOHN + +Lucy, tell Helen and Jean to come here. [_LUCY goes._] Well, young Baker +spoke to me about Jean last night. I told him I'd think it over and give +him my decision this morning. + + +JUDGE + +That's right. Mustn't seem too anxious, John. When the properly +qualified male offers one of our dependent females a chance at woman's +only true career, of course it's up to us to look disappointed. + + +JOHN + +But I didn't bring up the little matter you spoke of. + + +JUDGE + +About that chorus girl?... Afraid of scaring him off? + + +JOHN + +Not at all, but--well, it's all over and it's all fixed. No scandal, no +blackmail. + + +JUDGE + +Hum! By the way, got anything on Hamilton? + + +JOHN + +I don't believe in saints myself. + + +JUDGE + +I see.... Good thing, for Jean Rex isn't a saint. I suppose you'd break +off the match. + + [_REX, in riding clothes, comes out. JOHN salutes him warmly. The + JUDGE is reading the paper._ + + +REX + +[_not eagerly_] + +Well? + + +JOHN + +Well, of course, you realize that you're asking a great deal of me, Rex, +but--[_Offers hand to REX warmly._] Be good to her, my boy, be good to +her. + + +REX + +[_shaking hands, forced warmth_] + +Thanks awfully. See-what-I-mean? [_To JUDGE._] Congratulate me, Judge; +I'm the happiest of men. + + +JUDGE + +[_looking up from newspaper_] + +So I see. Don't let it worry you. + + [_JEAN, in riding costume, comes from the house._ + + +JOHN + +[_signalling JUDGE to leave_] + +If Helen asks for me, I'm in the garden. + + +JUDGE + +If any telegrams come for me, I'm writing to _my wife_! + + [_JEAN and REX alone, they look at each other, not very loverlike._ + + +JEAN + +[_impulsively_] + +You weren't in love with me yesterday. You aren't now. You would get out +of it if you honorably could. But you honorably _can't_! So you have +spoken to John; you are going to see it through, because you're a good +sport.... I admire you for that, Rex, too much to hold you to it. You +are released. + + +REX + +[_amazed_] + +Why--why--you--you don't suppose I want to be released? + + +JEAN + +Well, I do!... Yesterday I let you propose to me when I cared for some +one else. That's not fair to you, to me, to him! + + +REX + +[_in a sudden fury_] + +Who is he? What do you mean by this? Why didn't you tell me? + + +JEAN + +I am telling you now. What have you ever told me about yourself? + + +REX + +[_blinking_] + +You had no right to play fast and loose with me. + + +JEAN + +I'm making the only amends I can. You are free, I tell you. + + +REX + +I don't want to be free! He can't have you! You are mine! If you think +you can make me stop loving you---- + + +JEAN + +[_interrupting_] + +Love, Rex? Only jealousy. You've never been in love with me--you've +always been in love with Helen. But you couldn't get her, so you took +me. Isn't that true, Rex? + + +REX + +[_after an uncomfortable pause_] + +I'll be honest with you, too. Yesterday I wasn't really very serious. I +felt like a brute afterward. You tried your best to prevent what +happened and ran away from me. But now---- + + +JEAN + +Don't you know why I ran away? To make you follow. I made you catch me. +I made you kiss me. Then you realized that we had been thrown together +constantly--deliberately thrown together, if you care to know it--and, +well, that's how many marriages are made. But I shan't marry on such +terms. It's indecent! + + +REX + +[_another pause_] + +I never thought a _woman_ could be capable of such honesty!... Oh, what +a bully sport you are! You aren't like the rest that have been shoved at +me. Why, I can respect you. You are the one for me. + + [_He tries to take her._ + + +JEAN + +[_restraining him with dignity_] + +I am sorry, Rex, but I am not for you. + + +REX + +Jean! without you ... don't you see--I'll go straight to the devil! + + +JEAN + +That old, cowardly dodge? Any man who has no more backbone than +that--why, I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man in the world. + + +REX + +[_frantic to possess what he cannot have_] + +You won't, eh? We'll see about that. I want you now as I never wanted +anything in my life, and I'll win you from him yet. You'll see! + + [_HELEN now appears._ + + +HELEN + +Oh, I beg your pardon. Lucy said John was out here. + + +JEAN + +I'll call him. + + [_She runs down into the garden._ + + +REX + +I'll call him. + + [_He runs after JEAN. HELEN helplessly watches them go, sighs, + standing by the garden steps until JOHN ascends. He looks at HELEN + a moment, wondering how to begin. She looks so capable and + unafraid of him._ + + +JOHN + +If you hadn't gone to college, you could have done what Jean is doing. + + +HELEN + +[_with a shrug and a smile_] + +But how proud you must be, John, to have a sister who isn't compelled to +marry one man while in love with another. _Now_, aren't you glad I went +to college? + + [_She laughs good-naturedly at him._ + + +JOHN + +Humph! If you think I'd let a sister of mine marry one of old man +Baker's two-thousand-dollar employees---- + + +HELEN + +Why, John, didn't Ernest tell you? Doctor Hawksbee has offered him a +partnership. Just think of that! + + +JOHN + +What! Going back into private practice? + + +HELEN + +But it's such a fashionable practice. Hawksbee's made a million at it. + + +JOHN + +But the institute needs Hamilton. + + +HELEN + +Ah, but we need the money! + + +JOHN + +[_disconcerted_] + +So you are going to spoil a noble career, are you? That's selfish. I +didn't think it of you. There are thousands of successful physicians, +but there is only one Ernest Hamilton. + + +HELEN + +[_laughs_] + +Oh, don't worry, John, he has promised me to keep his +two-thousand-dollar job. + + +JOHN + +Ah, I'm glad. You must let nothing interfere with his great humanitarian +work. Think what it means to the lives of little children! Think what it +means to the future of the race! Why, every one says his greatest +usefulness has hardly begun! + + +HELEN + +Oh, I know all that, I've thought of all that. + + +JOHN + +Now, such men should be kept free from cares and anxiety. What was it +you said yesterday? "He needs every cent of his salary for books, +travel, all the advantages he simply must have for efficiency." To marry +a poor man--most selfish thing a girl could do! + + +HELEN + +Yes, John, that's what I said yesterday. + + +JOHN + +[_scoring_] + +But that was before he asked you! [_HELEN smiles. He sneers._] Rather +pleased with yourself now, aren't you? "Just a woman after +all"--heroine of cheap magazine story! Sacrifices career for love!... +All very pretty and romantic, my dear--but how about the man you love! +Want to sacrifice his career, too? + + +HELEN + +But I'm not going to sacrifice what you are pleased to call my +career.... Therefore he won't have to sacrifice his. + + +JOHN + +What! going to keep on working? Will he let the woman he loves work! + + +HELEN + +[_demure_] + +Well, you see, he says I'm "too good" to loaf. + + +JOHN + +Humph! who'll take care of your home when you're at work? Who'll take +care of your work when you're at home. Look at it practically. To +maintain such a home as he needs on such a salary as he has--why, it +would take all your time, all your energy. To keep him in his class +you'll have to drop out of your own, become a household drudge, a +servant. + + +HELEN + +And if I am willing? + + +JOHN + +Then where's your intellectual companionship? How'll you help his work? +Expense for him, disillusionment for both. If you're the woman you +pretend to be, you won't marry that man! + + +HELEN + +[_strong_] + +The world needs his work, but he needs mine, and we both need each +other. + + +JOHN + +[_stronger_] + +And marriage would only handicap his work, ruin yours, and put you +apart. You know that's true. You've seen it happen with others. You have +told me so yourself! + + +HELEN + +Then that settles it! We must not, cannot, shall not marry. We have no +right to marry. I agree with all you say--it would not join us together; +it would put us asunder. + + +JOHN + +And you'll give him up? Good! Good! + + +HELEN + +Give him up? Never! The right to work, the right to love--those rights +are inalienable. No, we'll give up marriage but not each other. + + +JOHN + +But--but--I don't understand. + + +HELEN + +[_straight in his eyes_] + +We need each other--in our work and in our life--and we're to have each +other--until life is ended and our work is done. Now, do you understand? + + +JOHN + +[_recoiling_] + +Are you in your right mind? Think what you're saying. + + +HELEN + +I have thought all night, John. You have shown me how to say it. + + +JOHN + +But, but--why, this is utterly unbelievable! Why I'm not even shocked. +Do you notice? I'm not even shocked? Because everything you have said, +everything you have done--it all proves that you are a good woman. + + +HELEN + +If I were a bad woman, I'd inveigle him into marriage, John. + + +JOHN + +Inveigle! Marriage! Are you crazy? ... Oh, this is all one of your +highbrow jokes! + + +HELEN + +John, weren't you serious when you said marriage would destroy him? + + +JOHN + +But this would destroy _you_! + + +HELEN + +Well, even if that were so, which is more important to the world? Which +is more important to your "great humanitarian work"? + + +JOHN + +Ah, very clever! A bluff to gain my consent to marrying him--a trick to +get his salary raised. + + +HELEN + +[_with force_] + +John, nothing you can do, nothing you can say, will ever gain my consent +to marrying him. I've not told you half my reasons. + + +JOHN + +My God! my own sister! And did you, for one moment, dream that I would +consent to that! + + +HELEN + +Not for one moment. I'm not asking your consent. I'm just telling you. + + +JOHN + +[_after scrutinizing her_] + +Ridiculous! If you really meant to run away with this fellow, would you +come and tell _me_, your own brother? + + +HELEN + +Do you suppose I'd _run_ away without telling, even my own brother? + + +JOHN + +[_looks at her a moment; she returns his gaze_] + +Bah!--all pose and poppycock! [_He abruptly touches bell._] I'll soon +put a stop to this nonsense. [_Muttering._] Damnedest thing I ever heard +of. + + +HELEN + +John, I understand exactly what I'm doing. You never will. But nothing +you can do can stop me now. + + +JOHN + +We'll see about that. [_The BUTLER appears._] Ask the others to step out +here at once; all except Miss Jean and Mr. Baker, I don't want them. Is +Doctor Hamilton about? + + +BUTLER + +No, sir, he went to church. + + +JOHN + +All right. [_The BUTLER disappears._] To church! My God! + + [_HELEN pays no attention. She gazes straight out into the future, + head high, eyes clear and wide open._ + + +JOHN + +First of all, when the others come out, I'm going to ask them to look +you in the face. Then you can make this statement to them, if you wish, +and--look them in the face. + + +HELEN + +[_with quiet scorn_] + +If I were being forced into such a marriage as poor little Jean's, I +would kill myself. But in the eyes of God, who made love, no matter how +I may appear in the eyes of man, who made marriage, I know that I am +doing right. + + [_LUCY comes out, followed by the JUDGE._ + + +JOHN + +[_not seeing them. He is loud_] + +Say that to Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore! Say that to my wife, +stand up and say that to the world, if you dare. + + +LUCY + +[_to JUDGE_] + +She has told him! + + +JOHN + +[_wheeling about_] + +What! did she tell you? Why didn't you come to me at once? + + +LUCY + +[_tremulous_] + +She said she wanted to tell you herself. I didn't think she'd dare! + + [_They all turn to look at HELEN. THEODORE comes back from church + alone._ + + +HELEN + +It had to be announced, of course. + + +THEODORE + +[_advancing, beaming_] + +Announced? What is announced? + + [_All turn to him in a panic._ + + +LUCY + +[_hurriedly_] + +Their engagement, Theodore! + + +JUDGE + +[_overriding HELEN_] + +Yes, John has given his consent at last--example to society. + + [_Prods JOHN._ + + +JOHN + +[_also overrides HELEN_] + +Of course! One of the finest fellows in the world. + + +THEODORE + +[_delighted_] + +And withal he has a deep religious nature. Congratulations. My dear, +he'll make an ideal husband. + + [_Takes both HELEN'S hands, about to kiss her._ + + +HELEN + +[_can't help smiling_] + +Thank you, cousin, but I don't want a husband. + + [_A sudden silence._ + + +THEODORE + +[_looks from one to the other_] + +A lover's quarrel?--already! + + +JUDGE + +[_enjoying it_] + +No, Theodore, these lovers are in perfect accord. They both have +conscientious scruples against marriage. + + +JOHN + +Conscientious! + + +JUDGE + +So they are simply going to set up housekeeping without the mere +formality of a wedding ceremony. + + [_THEODORE drops HELEN'S hands._ + + +HELEN + +[_quietly_] + +We are going to do nothing of the sort. + + +THEODORE + +Uncle Everett! + + [_Takes her hands again._ + + +HELEN + +We are not going to set up housekeeping at all. He will keep his present +quarters and I mine. + + +JOHN + +But they are going to belong to each other. + + +THEODORE + +[_drops HELEN'S hands--aghast_] + +I don't believe it. + + +JUDGE + +[_apart to THEODORE_] + +The strike against marriage. It was bound to come. + + +THEODORE + +[_to JUDGE_] + +But Church and State--[_indicates self and JUDGE_] must break this +strike. + + +HELEN + +John is a practical man. He will prove to you that such a home as we +could afford would only be a stumbling-block to Ernest's usefulness, a +hollow sphere for mine. You can't fill it with mere happiness, Lucy, not +for long, not for long. + + +JUDGE + +[_restrains THEODORE about to reply_] + +Oh, let her get it all nicely talked out, then she'll take a nap and +wake up feeling better. [_Whispering._] We've driven her to this +ourselves, but she really doesn't mean a word of it. Come, dear child, +tell us all about this nightmare. + + +HELEN + +[_smiles at the JUDGE_] + +Why, think what would happen to an eager intellect like Ernest +Hamilton's if he had to come back to a narrow-minded apartment or a +dreary suburb every evening and eat morbid meals opposite a housewife +regaling him with the social ambitions of the other commuters. Ugh! It +has ruined enough brilliant men already. [_JUDGE restrains THEODORE and +others who want to interrupt._] Now at the University Club he dines, at +slight expense compared with keeping up a home, upon the best food in +the city with some of the best scientists in the country.... Marriage +would divorce him from all that, would transplant him from an atmosphere +of ideas into an atmosphere of worries. We should be forced into the +same deadly ruts as the rest of you, uncle. Do you want me to destroy a +great career, Theodore? + + +THEODORE + +Do you want to be a blot upon that career? + + +HELEN + +[_lightly_] + +I'd rather be a blot than a blight, and that's what I'd be if I became +his bride. Ask John. + + +LUCY + +Do you want to be disgraced, despised, ostracized! + + +HELEN + +[_smiles at LUCY_] + +A choice of evils, dear; of course, none of those costly well-kept wives +on your visiting list will call upon me. But instead of one day at home, +instead of making a tired husband work for me, I'll have all my days +free to work with him, like the old-fashioned woman you admire! Instead +of being an expense, I'll be a help to him; instead of being separated +by marriage and divergent interests, we'll be united by love and common +peril.... Isn't that the orthodox way to gain character, Theodore? + + +JOHN + +Oh, this is all damned nonsense! Look here, you've either got to marry +this fellow now or else go away and never see him again; never, never! + + +HELEN + +Just what I thought, John. I intended never to see him again. That was +why I let you send me abroad. But I'll never, never do it again. +[_Smiling like an engaged girl._] It was perfectly dreadful! Ernest +couldn't get along without me at all, poor old thing. And I, why, I +nearly died. + + +JOHN + +Then you'll have to be married, that's all. + + +THE OTHERS + +Why, of course you'll have to, that's all. + + +HELEN + +[_nodding_] + +Oh, I know just how you feel about it. I thought so, too, at first, but +I can't marry Ernest Hamilton. I love him. + + +THEODORE + +But if you love him truly--marriage, my dear, brings together those who +love each other truly. + + +HELEN + +But those who love each other truly don't need anything to bring them +together. The difficulty is to keep apart. + + [_A reminiscent shudder._ + + +JOHN + +That's all romantic rot! Every one feels that way at first. + + +HELEN + +At first! Then the practical object of marriage is not to bring together +those who love each other, but to keep together those who do not? [_To +LUCY._] What a dreadful thing marriage must be! + + [_JUDGE chokes down a chuckle._ + + +JUDGE + +Ah, so you wish to be free to separate. Now we have it. + + +HELEN + +To separate? What an idea! On the contrary, we wish to be free to keep +together! In the old days when they had interests in common marriage +used to make man and woman one, but now it puts them apart. Can't you +see it all about you? He goes down-town and works; she stays up-town and +plays. He belongs to the laboring class; she belongs to the leisure +class. At best, they seldom work at the same or similar trades. Legally +it may be a union, but socially it's a mésalliance--in the eyes of God +it's often worse.... No wonder that one in eleven ends in divorce. The +only way to avoid spiritual separation is to shun legal union like a +contagious disease. Modern marriage _is_ divorce. [_She turns to go, +defiantly._] I've found my work, I've found my mate, and so has he! What +more can any human being ask? + + [_The BUTLER appears._ + + +BUTLER + +[_to JOHN_] + +Doctor Hamilton is outside in a taxicab, sir. + + +JOHN + +Show him here at once! + + +BUTLER + +He says he does not care to come in, sir, unless you are ready to talk +to him now. + + +JOHN + +Well, of all the nerve! You bet I'm ready! + + [_Starts off. HELEN starts, too._ + + +JUDGE + +[_intercepting them calmly_] + +Wait a minute--wait a minute. [_To SERVANT._] Ask Doctor Hamilton kindly +to wait in the library. [_The BUTLER goes._] Now, we're all a bit +overwrought. [_Soothes HELEN, pats her hand, puts arm about her, +gradually leads her back._] I still believe in you, Helen, I still +believe in him. [_To all._] It's simply that he's so deeply absorbed in +his great work for mankind that he doesn't realize what he is asking +Helen to do. + + +HELEN + +[_quietly_] + +So I told him ... when he asked me to marry him. + + +ALL + +What! He _asked_ you to _marry_ him? + + +HELEN + +Of course! _Implored_ me to marry him. [_She adds, smiling._] So +absorbed--not in mankind, but in me--that he "didn't realize what he +was asking me to do." + + +LUCY + +[_utterly amazed_] + +And you refused him! The man who loves you honorably? + + +HELEN + +[_demurely_] + +Of course! You don't suppose I'd take advantage of the poor fellow's +weakness. Women often do, I admit--even when not in love, sometimes.... +Not because they're depraved but dependent. + + +JOHN + +[_to all_] + +And then he proposed this wicked substitute! Poisoned her innocent +mind--the bounder! + + +HELEN + +But he did nothing of the sort. + + +JOHN + +Oh, your own idea, was it? + + +HELEN + +Of course! + + +JOHN + +[_to all_] + +And he is willing to take advantage of the poor child's ignorance--the +cad! [_To THEODORE._] "Deep religious nature," eh? + + +THEODORE + +I can't believe it of him. + + +HELEN + +He knows nothing about it yet. I haven't even seen him since I made my +decision. + + [_All exchange bewildered glances._ + + +JOHN + +[_apart to JUDGE_] + +We've got to get him off to Paris. It's our only hope. + + +JUDGE + +[_apart to JOHN_] + +You can't stop her following. She's on the edge of the precipice--do you +want to shove her over? You are dealing with big people here and a big +passion. + + [_The BUTLER returns._ + + +BUTLER + +Doctor Hamilton asks to see Miss Helen while waiting. + + +JUDGE + +[_calmly to BUTLER_] + +Tell Doctor Hamilton that Miss Helen will see him here. + + [_The BUTLER leaves._ + + +JOHN + +Are you crazy! We've got to keep 'em apart--our one chance to save her. + + +JUDGE + +No, bring them together. _That_ is our one chance. Come, we'll go down +into the garden and they'll have a nice little talk. Nothing like talk, +John, honest talk, to clear these marriage problems. + + [_Going._ + + +JOHN + +And let them elope? In that taxicab?--not on your life! + + [_Runs to and fro._ + + +JUDGE + +Come, John, girls never notify the family in advance when they plan +elopements. It's not done. + + +THEODORE + +[_going_] + +Uncle Everett is right. Ernest will bring her to her senses. He _has_ a +deep religious nature. + + [_JUDGE leads JOHN away to the garden._ + + +LUCY + +[_lingering--to HELEN_] + +If you offer yourself on such terms to the man who loves you honorably, +he'll never look at you again. + + +THEODORE + +[_leading LUCY off to garden_] + +Don't worry! She won't. + + [_ERNEST rushes out to HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +Ernest! + + +ERNEST + +At last! [_He takes her in his arms; she clings to him and gazes into +his eyes; a long embrace._] Tell me that you're all right again. + + +HELEN + +[_smiling with love and trust_] + +Except that you deserted me, dear, just when I needed you most. Ernest, +Ernest! never leave me again. + + +ERNEST + +Deserted you? Why, your brother said you were ill. + + +HELEN + +Ah, I see ... he was mistaken. + + +ERNEST + +[_jubilant and boyish_] + +But never mind now, I've got you at last, and I'll never, never let you +go. You've got to sail with me to-morrow. Together! Oh, think! Together. + + [_Another embrace._ + + +HELEN + +Are you _sure_ you love me? + + +ERNEST + +[_laughs from sheer joy of her nearness_] + +Am I sure? Ten million times more to-day than yesterday. + + +HELEN + +Even so ... it is not, and can never be, as I love you. + + +ERNEST + +[_with her hands in his, gayly_] + +Then you can apologize. + + +HELEN + +Apologize? + + +ERNEST + +For saying, years and years ago--in other words, last night--that you +didn't think you'd marry me after all. [_She starts._] Why, what's the +matter? You're trembling like a leaf. You _are_ ill! + + +HELEN + +No; oh, no. + + +ERNEST + +[_tenderly_] + +Still a few lingering doubts? I had hoped a good night's rest would put +those little prejudices to sleep forever. + + +HELEN + +Sleep? + + [_She shakes her head, gazing at him soberly._ + + +ERNEST + +So you could not sleep? Neither could I; I was too happy to sleep. I was +afraid I'd miss some wondrous throbbing thought of your loveliness. +[_Takes her passive hand, puts a kiss in it, and closes it reverently +while she looks into his eyes without moving._] Do you know, I'm +disappointed in love. I always thought it meant soft sighs and pretty +speeches. It means an agony of longing, delicious agony, but, oh, +terrific. [_She says nothing._] Dear, dear girl, it may be easy for you, +but I can't stand much more of this. + + +HELEN + +Nor I. + + +ERNEST + +You must come to Paris with me or I'll stay home. All through the night +I had waking visions of our being parted. Just when we had found each +other at last. Some terrible impersonal monster stepped in between us +and said: "No. Now that you have had your glimpse of heaven--away! Ye +twain shall not enter here...." Silly, wasn't it? But I couldn't get the +horror of it out of my head. + + +HELEN + +[_nodding_] + +Do you know why, Ernest? Because it was in mine. It came from my thought +to yours. You and I are attuned like wireless instruments. Even in the +old blind days, there in the laboratory I used to read your mind. Shall +I tell you the name of the monster that would put us asunder?... Its +name is Marriage. + + +ERNEST + +But I need you. You know that. And you need me. It's too late. We are +helpless now--in the clutch of forces more potent than our little +selves--forces that brought us into the world--forces that have made the +world. Whether you will or no, this beautiful binding power is sweeping +you and me together. And you must yield. + + +HELEN + +[_reaching for his hand_] + +Ah, my dear, could anything make it more beautiful, more binding than it +is now? + + +ERNEST + +It is perfect. The one divine thing we share with God. The Church is +right in that respect. I used to look upon marriage as a mere contract. +It's a religious sacrament. + + +HELEN + +Does the wedding ceremony make it sacred? + + +ERNEST + +That mediæval incantation! No, love, which is given by God, not the +artificial form made by man. + + +HELEN + +I knew it! I knew you'd see it--the mistake of all the ages. They've +tried to make love fit marriage. It can't be done. Marriage must be +changed to fit love. [_Impulsively._] Yes, I'll go to Paris with you. + + +ERNEST + +[_about to take her in his arms_] + +You darling! + + +HELEN + +[_steps back_] + +But not as your wife. + + +ERNEST + +[_stops--perplexed_] + +You mean ... without marriage? + + +HELEN + +I mean without marriage. + + [_They look into each other's eyes._ + + +ERNEST + +A moment ago I thought I loved you as much as man could love woman. I +was mistaken in you--I was mistaken in myself. For now I love you as man +never loved before. You superb, you wonderful woman! + + +HELEN + +[_holds out her hand to be shaken, not caressed_] + +Then you agree? + + +ERNEST + +[_kneels, kisses her hand, and arises_] + +Of course not! You blessed girl, don't you suppose I understand? It's +all for my sake. Therefore for your sake--no. + + +HELEN + +Then for my sake--for the sake of everything our love stands for! + + +ERNEST + +[_laughing fondly_] + +Do you think I'd let you do anything for anybody's sake you're sure, +later, to regret? + + +HELEN + +Then don't ask me to marry you, Ernest. We'd both regret that later. It +would destroy the two things that have brought us together, love and +work. + + +ERNEST + +Nonsense. Nothing could do that.... And besides, think of our poor +horrified families! Think of the world's view! + + +HELEN + +Aren't we sacrificing enough for the world--money, comforts, even +children? Must we also sacrifice each other to the world? Must we be +hypocrites because others are? Must we, too, be cowards and take on the +protective coloring of our species? + + +ERNEST + +Our ideas may be higher than society's, but society rewards and punishes +its members according to its own ideas, not ours. + + +HELEN + +Do you want society's rewards? Do you fear society's punishment? + + +ERNEST + +[_jubilantly enfolding her_] + +With you in my arms, I want nothing from heaven, I fear nothing from +hell; but, my dear [_shrugs and comes down to earth with a smile and +releases her_], consider the price, consider the price. + + +HELEN + +Aren't you willing to pay the price? + + +ERNEST + +I? Yes! But it's the woman, always the woman, who pays. + + +HELEN + +I am willing to pay. + + +ERNEST + +I am not willing to let you. + + +HELEN + +You'll have to be, dear. I shall go with you on my terms or not at all. + + +ERNEST + +[_with decision_] + +You will come with me as my wife or stay at home. + + +HELEN + +[_gasping_] + +Now? After all I've said, all I've done? Ernest: I've told the family! I +relied upon you. I took for granted--Ernest, you wouldn't--you couldn't +leave me behind now. + + +ERNEST + +Thanks to you and what you've made of me, I must and will. + + +HELEN + +Ernest! + + [_Opens her arms to him to take her._ + + +ERNEST + +[_about to enfold her--resists_] + +No! If you love me enough for that [_points to her pleading hands_]--I +love you enough for this. [_He turns to go._] Come when you're ready to +marry me. + + +HELEN + +[_shrill, excited, angered_] + +Do you think this has been easy for me? Do you think I'll offer myself +again on any terms? Never! + + +ERNEST + +You must marry me--and you will. + + +HELEN + +You don't know me. Good-by! + + +ERNEST + +Very well! + + [_ERNEST, afraid to stay, goes at once. She waits motionless until + she hears the automobile carrying him away. She immediately turns + from stone to tears, with a low wail. In utter despair, hands + outstretched she sinks down upon a bench and buries her face in + her hands._ + + +HELEN + +Oh, Ernest!... How could you? + + [_LUCY, THEODORE, JUDGE and JOHN all hurry back, all excited._ + + +THEODORE + +Did you see his horrified look? + + +LUCY + +Fairly running away--revolted. Ah! + + [_Points at HELEN. HELEN arises, defiant, confident, calm._ + + +JOHN + +[_to HELEN_] + +What did I tell you! + + +LUCY + +You have thrown away the love of an honorable man. + + +THEODORE + +Trampled upon the finest feelings of a deep nature. + + +JOHN + +Let this be a lesson to you. You've lost your chance to marry, your +chance to work, and now, by heavens! you will cut out "independence" and +stay at home, _where women belong_, and live down this disgrace ... if +you can. + + +LUCY + +With one excuse or another--he'll stay away. He'll never come back. + + +HELEN + +[_clear and confident as if clairvoyant_] + +He will! He is coming now.... He is crossing the hall.... He is passing +through the library.... He's here! + + [_But she doesn't turn. ERNEST reappears at the door and takes in + the situation at a glance._ + + +JOHN + +[_still turned toward HELEN_] + +He'll never look at you again, and I don't blame him! I'm a man; I know. +We don't respect women who sell out so cheap. + + +ERNEST + +You lie! [_All turn, astounded. HELEN runs toward ERNEST with a cry of +joy. JOHN starts to block her. To JOHN._] Stop! You're not fit to touch +her. No man is. + + +JOHN + +[_with a sarcastic laugh_] + +Humph! I suppose that's why you ran away. + + +ERNEST + +Yes. To protect her from myself. + + +JOHN + +Then why come back? + + +ERNEST + +To protect her from you! You cowards, you hypocrites! [_He rushes down +to HELEN, puts his strong arm about shoulder and whispers rapidly._] +Just as I started, something stopped me. In a flash I saw ... all this. + + +HELEN + +[_clasping his arm with both hands_] + +I made you come! I made you see! + + +JOHN + +[_advances menacingly_] + +By what right are you here in my home? By what right do you take my +sister in your arms? + + +ERNEST + +By a right more ancient than man-made law! I have come to the cry of my +mate. I'm here to fight for the woman I love! [_Arm about HELEN, defies +the world. To all._] My trip to Paris is postponed. One week from to-day +gather all your family here, and in your home we'll make our declaration +to the world. + + +JOHN + +In my home! Ha! Not if I know it. + + +JUDGE + +[_restraining JOHN_] + +Play for time, John--he'll bring her around. + + +JOHN + +[_to ERNEST_] + +Do you mean to marry her or not? Speak my language! + + [_ERNEST releases HELEN and steps across to JOHN._ + + +ERNEST + +_She_ decides that--not you. + + [_All turn to HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +Never! + + +JOHN + +[_shaking off JUDGE. To HELEN._] + +You'll go with this damned fanatic only over my dead body. + + +HELEN + +[_high_] + +And that will only cry aloud the thing you wish to hide from the world +you fear. + + [_Just now JEAN is seen slowly returning from the garden without + REX. Her pretty head is bent and, busy with her own sad thoughts, + she is startled by the following:_ + + +ERNEST + +There are laws to prevent marriage in some cases but none to enforce +marriage on women--unless they will it. + + +JOHN + +[_beside himself with rage_] + +Enforce! Do you think I'll ever _allow_ a sister of mine to marry a +libertine? + + +JEAN + +[_thinks they are discussing her, and is outraged_] + +But I'm not going to marry him! My engagement is broken. + + [_General consternation. Sobbing, JEAN runs into house._ + + +JOHN + +My God, what next? Lucy, don't let Rex get away! You know what he'll +do--and when he sobers up, it may be too late. [_To ERNEST._] As for +you, you snake, you get right out of here. + + +JUDGE + +[_in the sudden silence_] + +Now you've done it, John. + + +ERNEST + +Oh, very well, this is your property. + + +HELEN + +But _I_ am not! I go, too! + + [_She runs to ERNEST._ + + +THEODORE + +Don't commit this sin! + + +JOHN + +Let her go! She's no sister of mine. + + +JUDGE + +[_the only calm one_] + +If she leaves this house now, it's all up. + + +JOHN + +A woman who will give herself to a man without marriage is no sister of +mine. + + + +HELEN + +[_about to go, turns, leaning on ERNEST. To all_] + +Give!... But if I _sold_ myself, as you are forcing poor little Jean to +do, to a libertine she does not love, who does not love her--that is not +sin! That is respectability! To urge and aid her to entrap a man into +marriage by playing the shameless tricks of the only trade men want +women to learn--that is holy matrimony. But to give yourself of your own +free will to the man you love and trust and can help, the man who loves +and needs and has won the right to have you--oh, if this is sin, then +let me live and die a sinner! + + [_She turns to ERNEST, gives him a look of complete love and + trust, then bursts into tears upon his shoulder, his arms + enfolding her protectingly._ + + + + +ACT III + + + _It is well along in the afternoon of the same busy day of rest. + Most unaccountably--until the JUDGE accounts for it later--the + terrace has been decked out with festoons and flowers since the + excitement of the morning. Japanese lanterns have been hung, + though it is not yet time to light them and though it is Sunday + in a pious household._ + + _Most incongruously and lugubriously, LUCY is pacing to and fro in + silent concern._ + + _THEODORE now comes out of the house, also looking harassed. Lucy + turns to him inquiringly. He shakes his head sadly._ + + +LUCY + +No word from Uncle Everett? + + +THEODORE + +No word. He must have reached town long ago, unless he had tire +trouble.... It's a bad sign, Lucy, a bad sign. He would surely telephone +us. + + +LUCY + +Oh, if he _only_ hadn't missed their train! + + +THEODORE + +[_hopelessly_] + +Uncle Everett is the only one who could have brought them to their +senses. + + +LUCY + +It may not be too late. He took our fastest car, our best chauffeur. + + +THEODORE + +Detectives are to watch all the steamers to-morrow. John telephoned at +once. + + +LUCY + +But to-morrow will be too late! And, oh! when it all comes out in the +newspapers! The ghastly head-lines--"well-known scientist, beautiful +daughter of a prominent family!" Oh! What will people say? + + [_JOHN, hurried and worried, rushes out shouting for LUCY._ + + +JOHN + +Any news? Any news? [_THEODORE and LUCY give him gestures of despair._] +Then it's too late. [_He, too, paces to and fro in fury. Then bracing +up._] Well, I found Rex, over at the Golf Club. Terribly cut up. But +listen; not a drink, not one!... Where's Jean? Got to see her at once. + + +THEODORE + +Locked herself up in her room, John, crying her little heart out! + + +JOHN + +Rex is a changed man, I tell you. We've got to patch it up, and we've +got to do it _quick_! + + +LUCY + +But, John! When the Bakers hear about Helen ... Rex marry into our +family? Never! We're disgraced, John, disgraced! + + +JOHN + +[_impatiently_] + +But they're not _going_ to hear about Helen. No one knows, and no one +_will_. Helen has simply returned to Paris to complete her scientific +research. My press-agent--he's attending to all that. + + +THEODORE + +But questions, gossip, rumor--it's bound to come out in time! + + +JOHN + +In time; but meanwhile, if Jean marries Rex, the Bakers will _have_ to +stand for it. What's more, they'll make _other_ people stand for it. +Backed by the Bakers, no one will _dare_ turn us down.... Our position +in the world, my business relations with the old man--_everything hangs +on little Jean_ now. Tell her I've simply got to see her. [_LUCY +hesitates._] Hurry! Rex is coming over later. [_He catches sight of the +table, festoons, etc._] Heavens! What's all this tomfoolery? + + +LUCY + +[_going_] + +Uncle Everett's orders--he wouldn't stop to explain. He left word to +summon the whole family for dinner. + + [_LUCY goes._ + + +JOHN + +[_shrilly_] + +The whole family!... To-day of all days! + + +THEODORE + +John! You must not, shall not, force Jean to marry this man. + + +JOHN + +[_unappreciated_] + +Haven't I done everything for my sisters? Can't they even _marry_ for +_me_? + + +THEODORE + +The man she loves or none at all. + + +JOHN + +That cub at the law school? No money to keep a wife, no prospects of +any. His father's a college professor. + + +THEODORE + +[_shaking head sadly_] + +"No love without marriage, no marriage without--money!" Ernest +Hamilton's words this morning, when we walked to church. + + +JOHN + +[_watching house expectantly_] + +Survival of the fittest, Theodore, survival of the fittest. + + +THEODORE + +The fittest for what?--for making money! the only kind of fitness +encouraged to survive, to reproduce its species. + + +JOHN + +If the ability to make money is not the test of fitness, what is? + + +THEODORE + +Then you are more fit than a hundred Hamiltons, are you? And Rex? How +fit is he? Rex never made a cent in his life. + + +JOHN + +He's got it, all the same.... See here! Haven't I enough to worry me +without your butting in? Jean's got to marry _some_body, _some_time, +hasn't she? + + +THEODORE + +But not Rex, not if I can prevent it. + + +JOHN + +But you can't--you have nothing to do with it ... except to perform the +ceremony and get a big, fat fee for it. + + +THEODORE + +I--marry Jean and Rex? Never! + + [_JEAN comes out. She is frightened and turns timidly to THEODORE + for protection._ + + +JOHN + +Jean, don't detain Theodore. He has an important business letter to +write. [_THEODORE turns to JOHN indignantly._] Your wife's sanatorium +bills--better settle up before they dun you again. + + +THEODORE + +With your money? + + [_Takes JOHN'S check out of pocket, about to tear it._ + + +JOHN + +[_catching THEODORE'S hand_] + +For Mary's sake, for the children's--don't give way to selfish pride.... +Want to kill your wife? Then take her out of the sanatorium. Want to +ruin your children? Then take them out of school!... Cash your check, I +tell you, and pay your debts! + + [_THEODORE glances at JEAN, at check. A struggle. At bay, he + finally pockets check and dejectedly goes into the house._ + + +JEAN + +[_with a wet handkerchief in hand_] + +Well? If I refuse to marry Rex?... Cut off my allowance or merely bully +me to death? + + +JOHN + +[_kindly_] + +Oh, come! You've filled your romantic little head full of novels. I +never force _any_body to do _any_thing. [_Suddenly breaks out._] My +heavens! what's the matter with all of you? I only want to give you and +Lucy and Helen and Theodore and the whole family the best of everything +in life! And what do I get for it? I'm a brutal husband, a bullying +brother, and a malefactor of wealth. Lord! I guess I have some rights, +even if I have got money! + + +JEAN + +Rex has money, too. Should that give him the right to women? I, too, +have some rights--even though I _am_ a woman. + + +JOHN + +Any woman who can't care enough for a Baker to marry him--Rex is the +sort who would do everything in the world for the woman he loves, +everything. All the Bakers are like that. + + +JEAN + +But what would he do for the woman he no longer loves? + + +JOHN + +He wasn't fool enough to tell you about that? + + +JEAN + +About what? + + +JOHN + +[_halting_] + +Nothing--I thought--I tell you, Rex has reformed. + + +JEAN + +You thought I meant his "past." I meant his future ... and my own. + + +JOHN + +Well, if you expect to find a saint, you'll never get married at all. + + +JEAN + +And if I never married at all? + + +JOHN + +_Then_ what will you do? + + +JEAN + +[_with a wail of despair_] + +That's it--then what _should_ I do--what _could_ I do? Oh, it's so +unfair, so unfair to train girls only for this! What chance, what choice +have I? To live on the bounty of a disapproving brother or a man I do +not love! Oh, how I envy Helen! If I only had a chance, a decent chance! + + +JOHN + +Any sensible girl would envy your chance. You'll never have another like +it. You'll never have another at all! Grab it, I tell you, grab it. +[_REX comes quietly, a determined look on his face, JOHN sees him._] +Now, think, before too late, think hard. Think what it means to be an +old maid. + + [_And leaves them abruptly._ + + + [_JEAN stands alone, looking very pretty in girlish distress. REX + gazes at her a moment and then with sudden passion he silently + rushes over, seizes her in his arms, kisses her furiously._ + + +JEAN + +[_indignant, struggles, frees herself, and rubs her cheek_] + +Ugh! How could you! + + +REX + +Because I love you! + + +JEAN + +Love! It isn't even respect now. + + +REX + +Has that fellow ever kissed you? + + +JEAN + +I have begged you never to refer to him again. + + +REX + +He has! He has held you in his arms. He has kissed your lips, your +cheeks, your eyes! + + +JEAN + +How many women have you held in your arms? Have I ever tried to find +out? + + +REX + +Ah! You don't deny it, you can't. + + +JEAN + +I can! _He_ respects me. I don't deserve it, but he does. + + +REX + +Thank heavens! Oh, you don't know how this has tormented me, little +Jean. The thought of any other man's coming near you--why, I couldn't +have felt the same toward you again, I just couldn't. + + +JEAN + +[_bites her lips--then deliberately_] + +Well, then ... other men have come near me ... other men have kissed me, +Rex. + + +REX + +[_getting wild again_] + +What! When? Where? + + +JEAN + +[_laughing cynically_] + +Oh, in conservatories in town, John's camp in the North Woods, motor +rides in the country--once or twice out here on this very terrace, when +I've felt sentimental in the moonlight. + + +REX + +[_recoiling_] + +Oh! Jean! I never supposed _you_ were that sort! + + +JEAN + +[_with distaste_] + +Oh, I don't make a habit of it! I'm not _that_ sort. But ... well, this +isn't all I could tell you about myself, Rex. + + +REX + +Don't!... Oh, what do you mean--quick. + + +JEAN + +Oh, I've merely been handled, not hurt. Slightly shop-worn but as good +as new. + + +REX + +[_after a pause, quietly_] + +Jean, what makes you say such horribly honest things to me? + + +JEAN + +Yesterday I did you a great unkindness, Rex. I deserve to suffer for +it.... You don't suppose I enjoy talking this way about myself? + + +REX + +I never heard a girl--a nice girl--talk like this before. + + +JEAN + +Naturally not. Usually "nice" girls hide it. It's an instinct in +women--to keep up their value.... Often I've had thoughts and feelings +which "nice" girls of your artificial ideal are supposed never to have +at all. Perfectly natural, too, especially girls of my sort. We have so +little to occupy our minds, except men! To have a useful, absorbing +occupation--it rubs off the bloom, lowers our price in the market, you +see. + + +REX + +Oh, stop!... If you're not going to marry me, say so, but---- + + +JEAN + +But I am!... I am not going to be a dependent old maid. [_REX, +bewildered, only gazes at her._] But, first, I want you to know exactly +what you're getting for your money. That seems only businesslike. + + +REX + +[_recoils_] + +Would you only marry me for that? + + +JEAN + +I told you I loved another man. Do you want me? + + +REX + +[_with jealousy returning_] + +Do I want you! He shan't have you. + + [_He comes close._ + + +JEAN + +Then take me. + + +REX + +[_seizes her passionately_] + +I'll make you love _me_! [_Kisses her triumphantly._] I'll bring a +different light into those cold eyes of yours. Wait until you're +married! Wait until you're awakened. I'll make you forget that man, all +other men. You are to be mine--all mine, all mine! [_During this embrace +JEAN is quite passive, holds up her cheek to be kissed, and when he +seeks her lips she shuts her eyes and gives him her lips. He suddenly +stops, chilled; holding her at arms length._] But I don't care to marry +an iceberg. Can't you love me a little? Haven't you any sentiment in +your cynical little soul ... you irresistible darling! + + +JEAN + +In my soul? Yes! It's only my body I'm selling, you know. + + [_Then deliberately--clearly without passion--throws her arms + about his neck, clinging close and kissing him repeatedly until + REX responds._ + + +REX + +Look out, here comes the parson. + + [_THEODORE comes out of the house._ + + +JEAN + +Oh, Theodore! Rex and I have come to an understanding.... Will you +solemnize our blessed union? + + +THEODORE + +Not unless you truly love each other. Marriage is sacred. + + +JEAN + +[_rapidly_] + +A large church wedding--that will make it sacred. A full choral +service--many expensive flowers--all the smartest people invited--that +always makes the union of two souls sacred. + + +THEODORE + +Those who truly love--their friends should witness the solemn rite, +but---- + + +JEAN + +[_interrupts. To REX_] + +And my wedding gown will be white satin with a point-lace veil caught up +with orange-blossoms and a diamond tiara--"the gift of the groom"--that +ought to make it solemn. + + +THEODORE + +The white veil is the symbol of purity, Jean. + + +JEAN + +[_rattling on wildly_] + +Of purity, Rex, do you hear? Whenever you see a bride in the white +symbol of purity she is pure--that proves it. That makes it all so +beautiful! so sacred! so holy! holy! holy! + + [_Hysterically turns and runs into the house as JOHN comes out._ + + +THEODORE + +[_following_] + +Jean, you must not, you shall not--[_JOHN blocks THEODORE. REX runs in +after JEAN. To JOHN._] John, I warn you! I'll prevent this marriage. +I'll tell every clergyman in the diocese. I'll inform the bishop +himself. This marriage would be a sacrilege. + + +JOHN + +You dare threaten me--after all I've done for you! + + +THEODORE + +Your five thousand was a loan--not a bribe--every cent of it will be +returned. + + +JOHN + +You can't return it. I wouldn't let you if you could. Come, it's all in +the family. [_THEODORE shakes his head._] You know that beautiful Gothic +chapel old man Baker is building on his estate? He likes you. I'll tell +him you're just the man he's looking for--safe and sane--no socialistic +tendencies. + + +THEODORE + +Don't trouble yourself--he offered me the place this morning. + + +JOHN + +You didn't refuse it! + + +THEODORE + +I did--this morning. But since my last talk with you I've reconsidered, +I've telephoned my acceptance. + + +JOHN + +[_genuinely glad_] + +Bully! Great! Why, now you're fixed for life. "Only one kind of fitness +encouraged," eh?... Right always triumphs in the end. Never lose your +faith again, Theodore. + + +THEODORE + +Right? That whited sepulchre! his mill hands dying like flies, his +private life a public scandal! + + +JOHN + +[_with a cynical grin_] + +Then why accept his tainted money? + + +THEODORE + +[_from his soul_] + +To keep my wife alive. To keep my children out of the streets. To keep +myself out of deeper debt to you. That's why I accept it--that's why +many a man sells his soul to the devil.... If I had only myself to +consider--why, to me a little thing like death would be a blessed +luxury. But I, why, John, I cannot afford--even to die. I must +compromise and live--live for those dependent on me.... Your five +thousand will be returned with interest, but your little sister will +not be married to a man she does not want. + + +JOHN + +But Rex wants _her_ and money talks in this world, louder than the +Church. Refuse to marry Baker's son and how long will you keep Baker's +chapel?... Think it over, Theodore, think it over. + + [_Suddenly the JUDGE in motor garments covered with dust comes out + panting, followed by LUCY calling._ + + +LUCY + +Uncle Everett! Uncle Everett! + + +JUDGE + +John! Oh, John! + + +JOHN + +Where is she! + + +THEODORE + +You were too late! + + +JUDGE + +Wait! Give me time to get my breath. + + [_Fans himself with his cap and mops brow._ + + +JOHN + +My detective--didn't he meet their train? + + [_JUDGE nods yes._ + + +LUCY + +But they saw him first? + + [_JUDGE shakes head no._ + + +THEODORE + +Didn't he follow them? + + [_JUDGE nods yes._ + + +JOHN + +Where'd they go? Where are they? Speak, man, speak! + + +JUDGE + +[_raises cap and handkerchief_] + +Now, just give me a chance and I'll tell the whole story.... The +detective was waiting at the station. He saw them step out of the +train. He followed them to the cab-stand. He watched them get into a +taxi--jumped into another himself--and away they went, pursued by the +detective and blissfully ignorant of his existence.... Even now they +don't know they were being watched--or else ... well, they might have +taken another course. + + +LUCY + +Quick! Tell us the worst. + + +JUDGE + +[_hesitates_] + +Well ... they drove straight to Helen's apartment. + + +LUCY + +And you were too late. I thought so. + + +JOHN + +But my detective? + + +JUDGE + +He followed and reported to me when I reached town. + + +LUCY + +Reported what? Tell us all. + + +JUDGE + +First he saw Ernest help Helen out of the taxi--very tenderly, like +this. Little they realized then how every detail was to be reported to +you now! + + +JOHN + +Go on! Go on! + + +JUDGE + +Then the detective saw Ernest deliberately---- + + +LUCY + +Yes, go on. + + +JUDGE + +Deliberately lift his hat like this, say "good afternoon" just like +that, and drive on to his own apartment a mile away. + + [_There is a sudden silence; the others waiting the JUDGE now sits + down._ + + +LUCY + +Oh, is that all? + + +THEODORE + +Why, it's exactly as if they were engaged! + + +JUDGE + +No, Theodore, not _exactly_ as if engaged. + + +JOHN + +You're keeping something back from us! Speak! + + +JUDGE + +[_gets up from chair_] + +Must I tell you? It's rather delicate.... Well, he didn't even step into +the vestibule to kiss her good-by. + + [_All look at each other._ + + +JOHN + +But where are they now? Quick! + + +LUCY + +They met later! I knew it. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, it's true. They are alone together at this very moment. + + +ALL + +Where! Where? + + +JUDGE + +[_pointing to house_] + +There. + + +JOHN + +What! What are they doing here? + + +JUDGE + +[_resumes fanning_] + +Discussing the marriage problem. [_General rejoicing and relief._] Sssh! +Not so loud, you might interrupt them. + + +JOHN + +[_nodding knowingly_] + +Cold feet! Knew he'd lose his job. + + +LUCY + +The disgrace. She couldn't face it. + + +THEODORE + +No, conscience. A deep religious nature. + + [_They all think it over a moment, each sure of his own diagnosis._ + + +JOHN + +[_turning to JUDGE with amusement_] + +So! Decided the soul-mate theory wouldn't work in practice, eh? + + +THEODORE _and_ LUCY + +And they agree to marry? + + +JUDGE + +[_stops fanning_] + +Marry? My, no! Nothing like that. They think less of marriage than ever +now! Helen is using woman's sweet indirect influence on Ernest in there +at this moment! + + [_All start toward the house impulsively, but on second thoughts + they all stop._ + + +JOHN + +Then how on earth did you get them back! + + +JUDGE + +[_lighting cigar_] + +Oh, perfectly simple, I promised Helen you'd apologize to Ernest; +promised Ernest you'd apologize to Helen. [_To LUCY._] Promised both +you'd arrange a nice little family party for 'em. They bear no grudge. +They're too happy. + + +LUCY + +[_horrified. Indicates table_] + +The family party--for _them_? Horrors! + + +JUDGE + +[_tossing away match_] + +Yes, here in your happy home. [_The others turn on the JUDGE +indignantly._] Well, don't jump on _me_. I tell you they positively +decline to elope until after they tell the whole damn family. +Considerate of them, I say. You don't deserve it, if you ask me. + + +JOHN + +[_incredulous_] + +Tell the whole ... see here, are they crazy? Are _you_ crazy? Do you +think _I'm_ crazy? + + [_Impetuously turns toward the house, a man of action._ + + +JUDGE + +[_stopping JOHN_] + +Wait!... You've already done your best to destroy your sister--but +you've utterly failed. They have done nothing wrong--_as yet_. Why, they +are the finest, truest, noblest pair of lovers I ever met! Now, aren't +they, Theodore? + + +THEODORE + +I can't say that I call Helen's ideas of marriage "noble," exactly! + + +JUDGE + +[_grandiloquent_] + +She is willing to sacrifice even marriage for his career. Isn't that +noble? And he! willing to sacrifice even his career for marriage. Both +noble, if you ask me. + + +JOHN + +[_loud_] + +Noble tommy-rot!--a pair of pig-headed, highbrow fools! They don't have +to sacrifice anything for anybody. Can't they work together just as well +married as unmarried? + + +JUDGE + +[_slyly_] + +That's what I said to her, but you had already convinced her that it was +impractical. Work and marriage--"combine the two, and you'll fail at +both"--your own warning, John. + + +JOHN + +[_angry_] + +B'r'r--you think you're very funny, don't you! But that's my sister in +there, planning to be that fellow's mistress--right here in my own +house! Anything funny about that! + + +JUDGE + +[_stepping aside_] + +All right, go put a stop to it then! [_JOHN starts toward house._] It's +your own house--turn her out again. [_JOHN stops short._] What are you +going to do about it, John? [_JOHN has no answer._] Drive little Jean +into marriage with a man she does not love--she is an old-fashioned +girl. But your other sister--you can't make her marry even the man she +does love, unless she sees fit. She is the New Woman! Society can no +longer force females into wedlock--so it is forcing them out ... by the +thousands! Approve of it? Of course not. But what good will our +disapproval do? They will only laugh at you. The strike is on. Few of +the strikers will let you see it. Few of the strikers have Helen's +courage. But, believe it or not, the strike will spread. It cannot be +crushed by law or force. Unless society wakes up and reforms its rules +and regulations of marriage, marriage is doomed.... What are you going +to do about it? [_Silence._] I thought so--nothing. Call them bad women +and let it go at that. Blame it all on human nature, made by God, and +leave untouched our human institutions, made by man. You poor little +pessimists! human nature to-day is better than it ever was, but our most +important institution is worse--the most sacred relationship in life has +become a jest in the market-place.... You funny little cowards, you're +afraid of life, afraid of love, afraid of truth. You worship lies, and +call it God! + + +JOHN + +[_interrupts_] + +All right, all right--but we can't change marriage overnight just to +suit Helen. What are _you_ going to do about it? + + +JUDGE + +There's just one thing to do. Will you back me up in everything I say? + + +JOHN + +[_acknowledging his own defeat_] + +Anything--everything. + + +JUDGE + +Then tell Helen she doesn't have to marry, that, with the best +intentions, the Church has made a muddle of monogamy. + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + JUDGE: You poor little pessimists! Human nature to-day is better + than it ever was, but our most important institution is worse--the + most sacred relationship in life has become a jest in the + market-place.] + + +THEODORE + +Uncle Everett, I protest. + + +JUDGE + +That we all admire their consecrated courage and advise their trying +this conscientious experiment. + + +JOHN + +Not if I have anything to say about it! + + +JUDGE + +But you haven't. Do please get that through your head.... Theodore, +they've talked enough, ask them to step out here and receive John's +blessing. [_Impatiently._] Go on--I'll fix John. [_THEODORE goes._] [_To +JOHN, who is about to burst forth._] Oh, see here, did you ever pull a +dog into the house against his will?... Let him alone and he'll follow +you in, wag his tail, and lick your hand. + + +JOHN + +You mean, they'll come in, be respectable? + + +JUDGE + +Admit that marriage has numerous drawbacks--and they'll see its +advantages. Deny it--and they'll see nothing but each other. Marriage +_is_ in a bad way, but it's the less of two evils. Marriage _must_ +adjust itself to the New Woman--_but_ the New Woman must meanwhile +adjust herself to marriage. [_Briskly to LUCY._] Now, then, did you send +out that hurry call for the family this evening? + + +LUCY + +Yes, they're on their way here now, but Uncle Everett, Doctor Hamilton +said, next week. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, I know--it'll be a little surprise party for Helen.... Did you +order some music? + + +LUCY + +Yes, the musicians are to be stationed in the library. + + +JUDGE + +Excellent, excellent. [_Indicates tables and festoons._] All that junk +will help, too. A good Sunday supper this evening, Lucy; your best +champagne, John--gay spirits, family affection, warm approval, toasts to +the future. Why, all we'll have to do is--[_Breaks off._] Here they +come. Now follow my lead. They've done a lot of thinking since you saw +them last, but--make one misstep and it's all off. + + +LUCY + +Be nice to her, John. It was just a girlish impulse. + + [_JOHN opens arms to receive HELEN._ + + +JOHN + +My sister! All is forgiven. + + +HELEN + +[_stops short, her lip curls_] + +_You_ forgive _me_? + + [_Before JOHN can reply, THEODORE and ERNEST follow, talking._ + + +ERNEST + +But I tell you he had a perfect right to put me off his property. The +thing I can't overlook--[_Sees JOHN and LUCY. Points finger at them +accusingly._] Theodore has told me what you thought.... Please don't +judge us by yourselves again--you licentious-minded married people! + + [_He shrugs his shoulders with fastidious disgust and turns his + back upon them._ + + +JOHN + +[_gasping_] + +Well, I'll be damned. + + +JUDGE + +[_whispers_] + +Stand for it--he's right. + + +THEODORE + +But Ernest ... I'm bound to say when two people run away together---- + + +ERNEST + +Ah, Theodore! you, too? Are all married people alike? Did we want to +"run away" as you call it? Did we not ask for a week to think it over? +Did we not stipulate that in any case we must frankly face the family +first? But this person--what did he do? he ordered us off his property, +like trespassers! What could we do? Sit down in the road and wait a +week? Bah! we went home--you suspicious married people, you +hypocritical, unspeakable married people! [_JUDGE has difficulty in +restraining JOHN._] Why, I believe our good friend the Judge here is the +only decent-minded, properly married person on your property. + + +JOHN + +[_bursting out_] + +Decent-minded--why, he's div---- + + [_LUCY stops him._ + + +JUDGE + +[_steps in_] + +Dev-oted to his wife. Lucy is jealous of what I'm doing for my wife. +[_Controls laughter._] Now come, we must all just let bygones be +bygones. We know your intentions are honorable, your courage admirable; +and for whatever was amiss in word, deed, or thought, we all humbly +apologize--don't we, John? [_JOHN bows uncomfortably._] Lucy? Theodore? +And now I want you all to tell Ernest and Helen what you told me--that +their arguments against marriage are unanswerable, their logic +unimpeachable, and we no longer have the slightest intention or desire +to get them divorced by matrimony. [_JOHN, THEODORE, and LUCY look +dubious. JUDGE crosses over and pinches them. HELEN and ERNEST are +utterly bewildered._] Why, we wouldn't let a little thing like marriage +come between them for the world, would we, John? would we, Lucy? would +we, Theodore? + + +JOHN + +[_with an effort_] + +I agree with Uncle Everett entirely. + + +JUDGE + +And you, Theodore? + + +THEODORE + +[_in a low voice_] + +Perfectly. + + +JUDGE + +And you, Lucy? + + +LUCY + +[_with a nervous glance at JOHN_] + +Absolutely. + + +JUDGE + +[_to the lovers_] + +There. You see? + + [_ERNEST looks from one to the other in amazement._ + + +HELEN + +[_laughing_] + +I don't believe a word of it! + + +JUDGE + +Why not? why not? + + +HELEN + +Very well, then invite the whole family here next Sunday! + + +JUDGE + +They'll be here in an hour. + + [_Points to tables._ + + +HELEN _and_ ERNEST + +[_recoiling_] + +In an hour! + + +JUDGE + +Yes, you are to begin your new life together this evening! Isn't it +lovely? + + +HELEN + +[_gasping_] + +But that's so sudden. Why, we--we aren't ready. + + +THEODORE + +Just as ready as you'll ever be. + + +JUDGE + +Ernest's vacation begins to-morrow--your honeymoon. + + +HELEN + +But, don't you see---- + + +LUCY + +Those new Paris clothes John gave you--your trousseau. + + +ERNEST + +Well, but---- + + +JUDGE + +And this family gathering this evening, your--in a manner of +speaking--wedding party. [_Waving aside all the lovers' objections._] +Now, it's all fixed, let's go and dress for the--as it were--ceremony. + + +ERNEST + +[_blocks the way. Serious_] + +Wait! Did I ever say I would not marry this woman? + + [_All stop, turn, exchange glances._ + + +JUDGE + +[_apart_] + +Ah! a broad-minded chap. + + +JOHN + +[_with a wink at JUDGE_] + +Ah! so you think you'd like to marry my sister after all? + + +ERNEST + +Oh, you're an ass! What have I been doing for the past twenty-four +hours? Begging her to marry me. What have you been doing? Preventing it. +Why did I postpone sailing for a week? Why did I insist upon the family +party? [_Comes nearer to JOHN._] You're an idiot. + + +JUDGE + +[_pinching JOHN_] + +Stand for it, John. You've got to stand for it. Tell him you love him +like a brother ... in-law. + + +JOHN + +[_controls himself_] + +Well, I ... I--you have my consent, Doctor Hamilton, I'm sure. + + +ERNEST + +_Your_ consent! What's that got to do with it? [_They all turn toward +HELEN. ERNEST steps between them._] Now wait!... This morning you tried +bullying. Did it work? This afternoon bluffing. Think _that_ will work? +[_Hand on HELEN'S shoulder._] You can't frighten her into marriage. I've +tried that myself. We've got to appeal to some higher motive than +self-interest or superstition with _this_ woman, racial motives, +unselfish motives. [_With force._] But don't talk to me about her being +"immoral." I won't stand for it. If you want her to marry, prove the +morality of marriage. + + +THEODORE + +The "morality of marriage"! What next? + + +ERNEST + +[_to THEODORE_] + +That's what I said--the morality of _marriage_! This woman is not on +trial before you. Marriage is on trial before her, and thus far I'm +bound to say you've not made out a good case for it. But simply +_justify_ her marrying me, and--I give you my word--you can perform the +ceremony this very evening. No license is required in this State, you +know. + + [_This creates a sensation._ + + +JUDGE + +Now, what could be fairer than that! [_To HELEN._] Do you agree to this? + + +HELEN + +[_she nods_] + +We agree in everything. + + +JUDGE + +_Both_ broad-minded! + + +HELEN + +[_quietly_] + +I never said I did not believe in a legal wedding--[_others surprised_] +for those who can afford the luxury of children.... But for those who +have to take it out in working for other people's children all their +lives--a ceremony seems like a subterfuge. Without children I don't see +how any marriage is ever consummated--socially. + + +THEODORE + +Ah, but this relationship--it's a sacred thing in itself. + + +HELEN + +[_sincerely_] + +I know it. I want to do right, Theodore, please believe that I do! But +the kind of marriage preached by the Church and practised by the +world--does that cherish the real sacredness of this relationship? Of +course, I can only judge from appearances, but so often marriage seems +to destroy the sacredness--yes, and also the usefulness--of this +relationship! + + +ERNEST + +But, my dear girl---- + + +HELEN + +[_smiles_] + +He thinks so, too. Only he has a quaint, mannish notion that he must +"protect me." [_To ERNEST, patting his arm._] Haven't you, dear! + + [_Again she has raised the shield of flippancy._ + + +JUDGE + +What did I tell you, Theodore? The old marriage doesn't fit the New +Woman. A self-supporting girl like Helen objects to obeying a mere +man--like Ernest. + + +HELEN + +[_patting the JUDGE'S arm affectionately, too_] + +Uncle Everett, you know nothing about it! You think you understand the +new generation. The only generation you understand is the one which +clamored for "Woman's Rights." [_To ERNEST._] I obey you already--every +day of my life, do I not, dear? [_Looking up into his face._] You're my +"boss," aren't you, Ernest? [_To JUDGE._] But I do object to contracting +by law for what is better done by love. + + +JUDGE + +[_laughs fondly_] + +But suppose the promise to obey were left out? + + +HELEN + +But the contract to love--[_To THEODORE._] that's so much worse, it +seems to me. Obedience is a mere matter of will, is it not? But when a +man promises to love until death---- + + +THEODORE + +Are you so cold, so scientific, so _unsexed_, that you cannot trust the +man you love? + + +HELEN + +Why, Theodore, if I didn't trust him I'd _marry_ him! Contracts are not +for those who trust--they're for those who don't. + + +LUCY + +[_takes HELEN apart_] + +Now, I may be old-fashioned, Helen, but I'm a married woman, and I know +men. You never can tell, my dear, you never can tell. + + +HELEN + +Do you think I'd live with a man who did not love me? Do you think I'd +live _on_ a man I did not love? [_LUCY blinks._] Why, what kind of a +woman should I be then! The name wife--would that change it? Calling it +holy--would that hallow it?... Every woman, married or not, knows the +truth about this! In her soul woman has always known. But until to-day +has never dared to tell. + + +ERNEST + +[_approaching HELEN_] + +Oh, come now--those vows--they aren't intended in a literal sense. Ask +Theodore. Why, no sane person means half of that gibberish. "With all my +worldly goods I thee endow"--millions of men have said it--how many ever +did it? How many clergymen ever expect them to!... It's all a polite +fiction in beautiful, sonorous English. + + +HELEN + +The most sacred relationship in life! Ernest, shall you and I enter it +unadvisedly, lightly, and with LIES on our lips?... Simply because +others do? + + +ERNEST + +[_a little impatient_] + +But the whole world stands for this. And the world won't stand for that. + + +HELEN + +Is that reverently, soberly, and in the fear of God? No, cynically, +selfishly, and in the fear of man. I don't want to be obstinate, I don't +like to set myself up as "holier than thou," but, Ernest, unless we +begin honestly, we'll end dishonestly. Somehow marriage seems wicked to +me. + + +JUDGE + +[_nudging THEODORE_] + +How do you like that? + + +THEODORE + +John is right--they've gone mad. + + +ERNEST + +All the same, you've got to marry me--you've simply _got_ to. + + +HELEN + +You are mistaken. I do _not_ have to marry _any one_. I can support +myself. + + +ERNEST + +Then I'm disappointed in you. + + +HELEN + +And I in you. + + +ERNEST + +I thought you were sensible. + + +HELEN + +I thought you were honest. + + +ERNEST + +Honest! You accuse me of dishonesty? + + +HELEN + +You don't believe in "half of that gibberish." Yet you are willing to +work the Church for our own worldly advantage! You are willing to +prostitute the most sacred thing in life!... If that is not dishonest, +what is! + + +ERNEST + +And you are the woman I love and want to marry! In all my life I was +never accused of dishonesty before. + + +HELEN + +You never tried to marry before. No one is honest about marriage. + + +ERNEST + +I never shall try again. I'm going to Paris to-morrow and I'm going +alone. + + +HELEN + +Then do it. Don't threaten it so often--do it. + + +ERNEST + +I shall. And I'll never come back. + + +HELEN + +Nobody asked you to. + + +ERNEST + +Helen--for the last time--just for my sake--marry me. + + +HELEN + +For the last time--no! no! NO!! I won't be a hypocrite even for your +sake. + + [_She turns away, he starts off, then stops, rushes over to her._ + + +ERNEST + +[_holds out arms_] + +I can't. You know it. Without you I'm nothing. + + +HELEN + +[_taking both his hands_] + +Without you.... Oh, my dear, my dear. + + +ERNEST + +Forgive me, forgive me. + + +HELEN + +It was all my fault. + + +ERNEST + +No, I was a brute. I'm not worthy of you. + + +HELEN + +[_covering his lips with her hand_] + +Sssh--I can't stand it--I was perfectly horrid to you. And you were +doing it all for my sake. [_Laughing and crying._] You dear old thing--I +knew it all the time. + + [_They seem about to embrace._ + + +JUDGE + +[_shaking with laughter_] + +Was there ever in the world anything like it!... Well, children, see +here. He's willing to lie for your sake. She's willing to die for your +sake. Now, why not just split the difference and have a civil ceremony +for _our_ sake. + + +THEODORE + +No, they will marry for a better reason. Think of the _sin_ of it! [_To +HELEN._] Have you no sense of sin? + + +JUDGE + +If not, think of the humor of it! Have you no sense of humor? + + +HELEN + +[_still drying eyes and smiling to JUDGE_] + +Not a scrap. Neither has Ernest. Have you, dear? + + +ERNEST + +I _hope_ not--judging from those who always say they have. + + +THEODORE + +[_solemnly_] + +Helen, look at Ernest--Ernest look at Helen. [_The lovers do so._] Look +into each other's very souls!... You know, you _must_ know, that in the +eyes of God this thing would be a sin, a heinous sin. + + [_The lovers gaze deep into each other's eyes in silence._ + + +ERNEST + +[_tremulous from the emotion he has just been through_] + +The glory and the gladness I see in this woman's eyes a sin? Her trust +in me, my worship of her, our new-found belief in a future life, our +greater usefulness together in this--bah! don't talk to me about sin! +Such women cannot sin--they love. + + +JOHN + +[_tired out_] + +Oh, you can talk all night, but this is a practical world. How long +could you keep your job in the institute? Then how'll you live! Private +practice? No respectable home will let you inside the door. + + +ERNEST + +I've seen the inside of respectable homes. I want no more. [_Taking from +his pocket a piece of paper._] This morning I came to ask for your +sister's hand in marriage. Your manners did not please me. So I cabled +over to Metchnikoff. [_Hands cablegram to JOHN._] His answer. Positions +await us both at the Pasteur Institute in Paris. That luxurious suite on +to-morrow's steamer still waits in my name. + + +THEODORE + +Ernest! Stop! Think! This woman's soul is in your hands. + + [_ERNEST seems to hesitate. HELEN crosses to him. JUDGE seizes + JOHN, whispers, and shoves him across._ + + +JOHN + +Doctor Hamilton! I apologize!... You're a man of the world. You know +what this means--she doesn't. She is in your power--for God's sake go to +Paris without her. + + [_JOHN tries to lead HELEN away from ERNEST. She shudders at + JOHN'S masterful touch and clings to her lover._ + + +ERNEST + +And leave her here in _your_ power? Never again! You've forced her out +of her work--you'd force her into legalized prostitution, if you could, +like her innocent little sister. [_Snatches HELEN away from JOHN._] No, +married or not, she sails with me in the morning. That's final. + + [_The lovers turn away together._ + + +JUDGE + +Where are you going? + + +HELEN + +To ask Marie to pack my trunk. + + +ERNEST + +To telephone for a motor. + + +JUDGE + +But you won't start until after the family party? + + +ERNEST + +Of course not. + + [_In a sudden silence HELEN and ERNEST walk into the house, + leaving the family in despair._ + + +JUDGE + +[_after a long sigh, to JOHN_] + +I knew you'd bungle it, I knew it--but there's still a chance, just one +more card to play. + + [_The BUTLER comes out._ + + +LUCY + +Good heavens! Already? + + +BUTLER + +Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby, Doctor and Mrs. Grey, and the Misses Grey. + + +LUCY + +[_flurried_] + +And we're not even dressed! + + +JUDGE + +No matter. It's Sunday--many orthodox people ... why, Mr. Baker won't +even dine out on Sunday. + + [_Enter the persons announced. Greetings._ "How warm it is for + September." ... "And how's the baby, Margaret?" _etc._ + + _JOHN and JUDGE apart are planning excitedly. JEAN and REX come + out, and finally HELEN, followed by ERNEST._ + + +BUTLER + +Dinner is served, ma'am. + + [_The SECOND MAN touches button. Japanese lanterns glow, silver + shines, and all move toward the tables, a happy, united family._ + + +LUCY + +[_going-to-dinner manner as she leads the way_] + +We can hardly go out formally because we're already out, you know. Aunt +Susan, will you sit over there on John's right? Doctor Hamilton by me? +Rex on the other side? + + +JOHN + +Here, Helen. No, Jean, you are beside Rex, you know. + + +JUDGE + +Until married, then you're separated. + + +LUCY + +Cousin Charlie--that's it. [_All take their places._] Most extraordinary +weather for September, isn't it? + + +JUDGE + +[_he slaps his cheek_] + +Isn't it? + + +LUCY + +[_shocked and hurt_] + +That's the first mosquito I have ever known on our place. + + +JOHN + +[_indignantly_] + +We never have mosquitoes here. You must have been mistaken. + + [_The servants are passing in and out of house with courses. The + BUTLER now brings a telegram to JUDGE._ + + +JUDGE + +From Julia! [_Tears it open eagerly, reads, and then shouts._] She's +coming back to me, she's coming back! Look at that, look at that! + + [_Jumps up and shows telegram to JOHN. Then taking it around to + LUCY he sings to tune of "Merrily we roll along"_: + + Aunt Julia is coming back + Coming back--coming back + Aunt Julia is coming back + Coming back from Reno. + + +HELEN + +[_laughing_] + +From Reno? That sounds like divorce, Uncle Everett. + + +JUDGE + +Like divorce? Does that sound like divorce? [_Takes telegram from LUCY +and hands it to HELEN._] Read it aloud. + + +HELEN + +[_reading_] + +"Dear boy, I can't stand it, either. Come to me or I go to you." + + +JUDGE + +[_sings during the reading_] + +Coming back from Reno. [_Breaks off--to HELEN._] So you thought we +wanted a divorce, did you? + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + JUDGE: We thought we believed in trial marriage. Nothing of the + sort--trial separation! What marriage put asunder divorce has + joined together.] + + +HELEN + +I never dreamed of such a thing. + + +JUDGE + +[_looks at her a moment, then in a burst_] + +Well, _I_ did. The dream of my life--your Aunt Julia's, too. We thought +we believed in trial marriage, but we don't--we believe in trial +_separation_! + + +THEODORE + +[_uncomfortably_] + +They thought they didn't love each other, but they do, you see. + + +JUDGE + +We don't, we don't, but we can't get along without each other ... got +the habit of having each other around and can't break it.... This +morning I telegraphed: "Are you doing this just for my sake?" She +replied, "Tutti-frutti." [_Sings._] Aunt Julia's coming back. Oh, I'm +too happy to eat. [_Singing, while others eat and drink_: + + Coming back, coming back, + Aunt Julia is coming back + Coming back from Reno. + +And I don't care who knows it. The more the better for marriage. The +truth--give me more truth, give me more--champagne. [_BUTLER fills glass +as JUDGE raises it._] Here's to your Aunt Julia, the best wife--I ever +had. [_All rise, drink, laugh, and sit down._] And I'll never, never get +another.... You know I thought maybe I might. Oh, Everett, Everett, you +sly dog, you old idiot you! + + +JOHN + +[_arises, clearing throat, tapping on glasses for silence_] + +And now, speaking of divorce, I have an engagement to announce. [_Some +laughter but all quiet down. He smiles at JEAN._] Of course, you can't +guess whose. Friends, it is my privilege to announce the engagement of +my good friend Rex Baker to my dear sister Jean. [_Gentle applause and +congratulations. Music begins._] And so I will now ask all to arise and +drink to the health and prosperity of my little sister and my +brother-in-law to be! And my best wish is that they will be as happy as +my better half and me. [_All cheer and drink health standing._] Speech, +Rex! + + [_Some of them playfully try to put him on his feet._ + + +REX + +[_shaking his head and maintaining his seat_] + +I can't make a speech. I'm too happy for words--See-what-I-mean? + + +HELEN + +[_in a low, significant tone_] + +Jean, aren't you going to say something? + + +JEAN + +[_arises, all silent, she looks at LUCY, REX, JOHN_] + +Words cannot describe my happiness, either. + + [_She resumes her seat, and all gather round to congratulate JEAN + and REX._ + + +JOHN + +[_rapping for quiet_] + +One moment, one moment. Another toast, another toast! [_Others quiet +down._] We have with us to-night one who, in honoring whom we honor +ourselves, one who with capital back of him would soon become the +greatest scientist in America! [_JUDGE leads applause_, "hear, hear!" +_etc. JOHN raises glass._] To the distinguished guest whom I am proud +to welcome to my humble board, to the noble humanitarian whom Mr. Baker +delights to honor, to the good friend whom we all admire and trust, +Doctor Ernest Hamilton! + + [_All applaud and about to drink health, JUDGE jumps up._ + + +JUDGE + +And to his fair collaborator! the brave woman who at this modern +warrior's side daily risks her life for others, handling death and +disease in those mighty but unsung battles for the common weal! +[_Applause._] A New Woman? No, friends, look behind the stupid names the +mob would cast, like stones to destroy, look and you will see your true +conservative--willing to appear radical in order to conserve woman's +work in the world! willing to appear ridiculous to right ancient wrongs! +willing even to appear _wrong_--for those she loves! Ah, the same +old-fashioned woman we all adore, in a form so new we blindly fail to +understand her glorious advent before our very eyes! To Helen, the +gracious embodiment of all that is sweetest, noblest, and best in +womanhood--to Helen! Our lovely Helen! + + +JOHN + +[_up again at once_] + +Family approval, social esteem, and an honored career--all this is +theirs for the asking! To-day to me they have confessed their +love--to-night to you I now announce ... their engagement! Long life and +happiness to Helen and Ernest! + + [_Great enthusiasm--even pounding on the table. ERNEST arises, + looking surprised. JOHN signalling to rest of family to join in._ + + +THE FAMILY + +[_glasses raised, drowning out ERNEST_] + +Long life and happiness, long life and happiness! + + +ERNEST + +[_raises hand_] + +Wait! Before you drink this toast.... [_The glasses stop midway. Sudden +silence._] Your congratulations we appreciate, your kind wishes we +desire--but not on false pretences. We are not engaged to be married. + + [_In the tense silence a shudder ripples the family joy._ + + +REX + +[_apart to JEAN_] + +Gee! They had a scrap, too? + + +JOHN + +[_up, nervously. ERNEST still standing_] + +If I may interrupt.... He has financial reasons--I respect him for +it. But this very day the Baker Institute in recognition of Doctor +Hamilton's distinguished services to humanity has doubled his +salary--doubled it! It's all right now--it's all right. + + +REX + +[_apart to JEAN_] + +Four thousand, eh?... get a very decent touring car for that. + + +ERNEST + +[_to all_] + +That is very kind, but that is not the point. True, our mutual needs are +such that we cannot live nor work apart, but our convictions are such +that we cannot live and work _together_--in what you have the humor to +call "holy wedlock." Now, Helen, the motor is waiting. + + [_Sensation. Gasps of amazement and horror. Some jump up from + table. A chair is upset. ERNEST holds HELEN'S wrap. General + movement and murmurs._ + + +JOHN + +[_barring way_] + +You leave this house only over my dead body. + + [_Others gather around lovers._ + + +JUDGE + +[_to all_] + +Stand back!... Let him among you who has a purer ideal of love, a higher +conception of duty cast the first stone. + + [_All stop. Silenced._ + + +THEODORE + +But this man and this woman would destroy marriage! + + +JUDGE + +[_standing beside lovers_] + +No! Such as they will not destroy marriage--they will save it! They +restore the vital substance while we preserve the empty shell. +Everything they have said, everything they have done, proves it. The +promise to love--they could not help it--they took it--I heard them. The +instinct for secrecy--they felt it--we all do--but straightway they told +the next of kin. [_Points to JOHN._] Even when insulted and driven forth +from the tribe, they indignantly refused to be driven into each other's +arms until you of the same blood could hear them plight their troth! +Believe in marriage? Why, there never was, there never will be a more +perfect tribute to true marriage than from this fearless pair you now +accuse of seeking to destroy it! [_JOHN tries to interrupt, but the +JUDGE waves him down._] They have been not only honorable but +old-fashioned, save in the one orthodox detail of accepting the +authority constituted by society for its protection and for _theirs_. +[_To HELEN and ERNEST._] But now, I'm sure, before starting on their +wedding journey--another old-fashioned convention they believe in--that, +just to please us if not themselves, they will consent to be united in +the bonds of holy wedlock by Cousin Theodore who stands ready and +waiting with prayer-book in hand. + + [_Family subsides. Everybody happy. THEODORE steps up, opens + prayer-book._ + + +THEODORE + +"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God----" + + +HELEN + +[_suddenly loud and clear_] + +Theodore! are you going to marry Rex and Jean? + + +JOHN + +[_impatiently_] + +Of course, of course, Mr. Baker's chaplain. + + +ERNEST + +[_recoiling_] + +Theodore! You! Are you going to stand up and tell the world that God has +joined those two together--GOD? + + [_THEODORE looks at JOHN but does not deny it and says nothing._ + + +HELEN + +Then you will be blaspheming love--and God who made it. No, you shall +not marry us. + + +ERNEST + +[_agreeing with HELEN_] + +Some things are too sacred to be profaned. + + +THEODORE + +[_overwhelmed_] + +Profaned?... By the Church? + + +JOHN + +Your love too sacred for the Church? The Church has a name for such +love! The world a name for such women! + + +ERNEST + +[_about to strike JOHN, then shrugs_] + +A rotten world! A kept Church! Come, let's get away from it all! Come! + + [_HELEN offers her hand in farewell to LUCY, but JOHN shields + her from HELEN'S touch, then to JEAN. REX shields JEAN from + contamination, but JEAN weeps._ + + +JUDGE + +[_barring the way. To ERNEST_] + +Stop! You cannot! The very tie that binds you to this woman binds you to +us and to the whole world with hooks of steel! [_The lovers are still +going, JUDGE ascends steps, facing them._] For the last time! before too +late! ERNEST! You _know_ that in the eyes of God you _are_ taking this +woman to be your wife. + + +ERNEST + +In the eyes of _God_, I _do_ take Helen to be my wife--but---- + + +JUDGE + +You, Helen! Speak, woman, speak! + + +HELEN + +I take Ernest to be my husband in the eyes of God, but---- + + +JUDGE + +[_raises his hand augustly and in a voice of authority_] + +Then, since you, Ernest, and you, Helen, have made this solemn +declaration before God and in the presence of witnesses, I, by the +authority vested in me by the laws of this State do now pronounce you +man and wife! + + [_MR. and MRS. HAMILTON look at each other bewildered. Meanwhile + the silence has been pierced, first by a little hysterical scream + from JEAN, then the others all wake up and crowd about the happy + pair, congratulating them. The women who had snubbed HELEN before + cover her with kisses, for now she is fit for their embraces._ + + +JOHN + +[_to THEODORE_] + +Saved! Saved! Respectable at last, thank God. [_Raising his glass and +hammering for attention._] Here's to the bride and groom. + + [_ALL cheer, raise glasses, and drink._ + + +ERNEST + +[_when the noise dies down. As the others kiss HELEN_] + +A moment ago you were a bad woman. Now [_to all_] behold! she is a good +woman. Marriage is wonderful. + + [_JOHN and LUCY run to JUDGE and shake hands._ + + +JUDGE + +[_to JOHN and LUCY, his wife_] + +Yes, Respectability has triumphed this time, but let Society take +warning and beware! beware! beware! + + + +CURTAIN + + * * * * * + + + + +BY JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS + + + PRINCETON STORIES (1895). + + THE ADVENTURES OF A FRESHMAN (1899). + + THE STOLEN STORY, AND OTHER NEWSPAPER STORIES (1899). + + NEW YORK SKETCHES (1902). + + THE DAY-DREAMER (1906). Being a novelization of the four-act + comedy, "The Stolen Story." + + THE GIRL AND THE GAME, AND OTHER COLLEGE STORIES (1908). + + THE MARRIED LIFE OF THE FREDERIC CARROLLS (1910). + + REMATING TIME (1916). + + WHY MARRY? (1918). New edition of "And So They Were Married." + + +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Why Marry?, by Jesse Lynch Williams + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHY MARRY? *** + +***** This file should be named 35389-8.txt or 35389-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/3/8/35389/ + +Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Why Marry? + +Author: Jesse Lynch Williams + +Release Date: February 24, 2011 [EBook #35389] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHY MARRY? *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + + +<h2 style="text-align:left;">WHY MARRY?</h2> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<img src="images/frontis.jpg" width="400" height="640" alt="" title="" /> +<p><small><i>From a photograph by White Studio.</i></small></p> +<p> <span class="smcap">Helen:</span> You're about the most conceited man I ever knew.<br /> + <span class="smcap">Ernest:</span> How can I help it, when you admire me so?</p> +<p style='text-align: right'>[<i>Page</i> 94.</p> +</div> + + + + +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> +<h1>WHY MARRY?</h1> +<h4>(Originally published under the title<br /> +"And So They Were Married")</h4> + +<h3>BY</h3> +<h2>JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 160px;"> +<img src="images/titlepage.jpg" width="160" height="160" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + + +<h4>ILLUSTRATED</h4> + + +<h3>PUBLISHED BY<br /> +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS<br /> +</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Copyright</span>, 1914, 1918, <span class="smcap">BY</span><br /> +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS<br /> +<br /> +<i>Published October, 1914</i><br /> +<br /> +<i>New and revised edition published April, 1918</i><br /> +<i>Reprinted September, 1918; February, 1919</i><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +[All rights strictly reserved—including<br /> +amateur acting rights.]</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 160px;"> +<img src="images/copyright.jpg" width="160" height="160" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> +<h3> +TO<br /> +HARRIET AND JAMES LEES LAIDLAW<br /> +</h3> + + + +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> +<h2>WHY MARRY?</h2> + +<h4>A Comedy in Three Acts</h4> + + +<p class="center">New York: Astor Theatre: Produced by Selwyn & Company,<br /> +Dec. 25, 1917, under the direction of Roi Cooper Megrue.<br /> +<br /> +The scene is a week-end at a country house not far away; the time,<br /> +Saturday afternoon, Sunday morning, and Sunday evening.<br /> +<br /> +THE PEOPLE AT THE HOUSE<br /> +(As You Meet Them)</p> + +<div class='tcenter'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<colgroup><col width="65%" /><col width="35%" /></colgroup> +<tr><td align='left'>JEAN, the host's younger sister, who has been brought up to be married and nothing else</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>LOTUS ROBB</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>REX, an unmarried neighbor, who has not been brought up to be anything but rich</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>HAROLD WEST</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>LUCY, the hostess, who is trying her best to be "just an old-fashioned wife" in a new-fashioned home,</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>BEATRICE BECKLEY</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>UNCLE EVERETT, a Judge, who belongs to the older generation and yet understands the new—and believes in divorce</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>NAT C. GOODWIN</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>COUSIN THEODORE, a clergyman and yet a human being, who believes in everything—except divorce,</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>ERNEST LAWFORD</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>JOHN, who owns the house and almost every one in it—and does not believe in divorce</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>EDMUND BREESE</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>HELEN, the host's other sister, whom every one wants to marry, but who doesn't want to marry any one,</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>ESTELLE WINWOOD</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>ERNEST, a scientist, who believes in neither divorce nor marriage but makes a great discovery</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>SHELLEY HULL<br /><small>(By arrangement with George C. Tyler)</small></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>THE BUTLER</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>RICHARD PITMAN</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'>THE FOOTMAN</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>WALTER GOODSON</td></tr> +</table></div> + + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>ADVANCE NOTICE<br /> +<small>BY THE AUTHOR</small></h2> + + +<p>One afternoon shortly before the New York +"opening" of this comedy a most estimable lady +sat down to make me a cup of tea.</p> + +<p>"Now, do tell me, what is your play about?" +she inquired with commendable enthusiasm. For, +being a true woman, she had early achieved the +becoming habit of letting members of the superior +sex talk about themselves.</p> + +<p>"'Why Marry?'" said I, "tells the truth +about marriage."</p> + +<p>"Oh, why," she expostulated, "why write unpleasant +plays?"</p> + +<p>"But it is not 'unpleasant.'"</p> + +<p>"Then it isn't true!" she exclaimed. "That is, +I mean—I mean—did you say cream or lemon?"</p> + +<p>And in the pause which accompanied the +pouring of the cream I detected the look of one +realizing too late that it is always better to think +before speaking.</p> + +<p>This little incident, it seemed to me, epitomizes +charmingly the attitude of "our nicest +people" toward our fundamental institution. +The truth about marriage must be unpleasant. +Therefore, tell us something we know isn't true. +It will be so much nicer for our young people.</p> + +<p>It is to be feared, however, that young people +who go to see "Why Marry?" in the hope of being +shocked do not get their money's worth. I +have heard of but two persons who have been +scandalized by this play, and they were both old +people. One was a woman in the country who +had not seen it, but had read the title, and so +wrote several indignant letters about it. The +other was an elderly bachelor of the type which +finds useful occupation in decorating club windows +like geraniums. He took his niece to see it, +and, deciding at the end of Act II that the play +was going to be unpleasant in Act III, took her +home at once. The next afternoon she appeared +at the matinée with a whole bevy of her own +generation and saw the rest of the play. I asked +her later if it had shocked any of them.</p> + +<p>"Oh, no," she replied, "we are too young to be +shocked."</p> + +<p>That little incident also struck me as socially +significant. There never were two generations +inhabiting the same globe simultaneously with +such widely separated points of view.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>For several years after this play was first published +no theatrical manager on Broadway would +produce it. I don't blame them, I want to +thank them for it. I doubt if this sort of thing +could have appealed to many theatre-goers then, +especially as my young lovers are trying to +be good, not bad. "Self-expression" and "the +right to happiness" do not enter into their plans. +The causes of their courageous and, of course, +mistaken decision are unselfish and social motives, +however futile and antisocial the results +would have been had not their desperate determination +been thwarted.... When this +play was first published most people were not +thinking along these lines. Such ideas were considered +radical then. They will soon be old-fashioned—even +on the stage.</p> + +<p>Kind and discriminating as the critics have +been in regard to this comedy (a discriminating +critic being, of course, one who praises your +play), few of them have seen the point which +I thought I was making emphatically clear, +namely, that we can't cure social defects by individual +treatment. Not only the lovers, but all +the characters in this play are trying to do right +according to their lights. There is no villain in +this piece. At least the villain remains "off +stage." Perhaps that is why so few see him. You +are the villain, you and I and the rest of society. +We are responsible for the rules and regulations +of the marriage game. Instead of having fun +with human nature, I tried to go higher up and +have fun with human institutions.</p> + +<p>I say "tried," because apparently I did not +succeed. The joke is on me. Still, I can get some +amusement out of it: for a great many people +seem to like this play who would be indignant if +they knew what they were really applauding. +They think they are merely enjoying "satire +on human nature." Now, it is a curious fact +that you can always curse human nature with +impunity; can malign it, revile it, boot it up and +down the decalogue, and you will be warmly +praised. "How true to life!" you are told. "I +know some one just like that." (It is always +some one else, of course.) But dare lay hands on +the Existing Order—and you'll find you've laid +your hands on a hornet's nest.</p> + +<p>You see, most people do not want anything +changed—except possibly the Law of Change. +They do not object to finding fault with mankind +because "you can't change human nature," as +they are fond of telling you with an interesting +air of originality. But laws, customs, and ideals +can be changed, can be improved. Therefore +they cry: "Hands off! How dare you!" Man +made human institutions, therefore we reverence +them. Whereas human nature was merely made +by God. So we don't think so much of it. We are +prejudiced, like all creators, in favor of our own +creations. After all, there is excellent precedent +for such complacency. Even God, we are informed, +pronounced his work "all very good" +and rested on the seventh day.</p> + +<hr style='width: 45%;' /> + +<p>Pretty nearly everything in the play as acted +is in the book as published; but by no means all +that is in the book could possibly be enacted on +the stage in two hours and a half. One scene, +a breakfast scene between John and his wife, +has been amplified for acting, but all the other +scenes as printed here have been shortened for +stage purposes and one or two cut out entirely.</p> + +<p>The "set" was changed to represent the loggia, +instead of the terrace, of John's "little +farm." Outdoor scenes are not supposed to be +good for comedy. Walls, or a suggestion of them, +produce a better psychological effect for the +purpose, besides making it possible to speak in +quieter, more intimate tones than when the +voice spills out into the wings and up into the +paint loft.</p> + +<p>Near the end of the play a number of relatives, +rich and poor, are supposed to arrive for dinner +and for influencing by their presence the recalcitrant +couple. That is the way it is printed +and that is how it was acted during the first +few weeks of the Chicago run. But though the +family may have its place in the book, it proved +to be an awful nuisance on the stage. No matter +how well these minor parts might be acted (or +dressed), their sudden irruption during the last +and most important moments of the performance +distracted the audience's attention from +the principal characters and the main issue. +It was not clear who was who. Programmes +fluttered; perplexity was observed.... So we +decided that the family must be destroyed. It is +always a perplexing problem to devise a substitute +for the family.</p> + +<p style='text-align: right'> +<span class="smcap">Jesse Lynch Williams.</span><br /> +</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> + + + +<div class='tcenter'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<colgroup><col width="85%" /><col width="15%" /></colgroup> +<tr> + <td align='left'><span class="smcap">Helen</span>: You're about the most conceited man I ever knew.<br /> + <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>: How can I help it, when you admire me so?</td> + <td align='right'><i>Frontispiece</i></td> +</tr> +<tr><td align='left'></td><td align='right'><small>FACING PAGE</small></td></tr> +<tr> + <td align='left'><span class="smcap">All</span>: Then why, <i>why</i> do you want a divorce?<br /> + <span class="smcap">Judge</span>: Because, damn it, I don't like her.</td> + <td align='right'>30</td> +</tr> +<tr><td align='left' colspan='2'> </td></tr> +<tr> + <td align='left'><span class="smcap">Judge</span>: You poor little pessimists! Human nature +to-day is better than it ever was, but our most +important institution is worse—the most sacred +relationship in life has become a jest in the +market-place</td> + <td align='right'>204</td> +</tr> +<tr><td align='left' colspan='2'> </td></tr> +<tr> + <td align='left'><span class="smcap">Judge</span>: We thought we believed in trial marriage. +Nothing of the sort—trial separation! What +marriage put asunder divorce has joined together</td> + <td align='right'>230</td> +</tr> +</table></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 1]</span></p> +<h1><span class="smcap">Act I</span></h1> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 2]</span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 3]</span></p> + +<h1>"And So They Were Married"</h1> + +<div class="bbt"> +<h2><span class="smcap">Act I</span></h2> +</div> + +<div class="pblockquot"><p><i>Up from the fragrant garden comes a girl, running. +She takes the broad terrace steps two +at a stride, laughing, breathless, fleet as a +fawn, sweet as a rose. She is hotly pursued by +a boy, handsome, ardent, attractively selfish, +and just now blindly determined to catch the +pretty creature before she gains the protecting +shelter of home. She is determined to let him +but not to let him know it.... There, she +might have darted in through the open door, +but it is such a cold, formal entrance; she +pretends to be exhausted, dodges behind a stone +tea-table, and, turning, faces him, each panting +and laughing excitedly; she alluring and +defiant, he merry and dominant.</i></p> + +<p><i>She is twenty-five and he is a year or two older, +but they are both children; in other words, +unmarried.</i></p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 4]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Think I'll let you say that to me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>making a face at him</i>]</p> + +<p>Think I'm afraid of you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Take it back, I tell you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I won't.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>I'll make you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a dance step</i>]</p> + +<p>Think so, do you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>I warn you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Booh-woo!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>He makes a feint to the right, then dashes to +the left and catches her.</i></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 5]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>triumphantly</i>]</p> + +<p>Now!... You would, would you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>struggling</i>]</p> + +<p>Let me go.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>I couldn't think of it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>seizes his hands to free herself—can't</i>]</p> + +<p>You're so strong—it isn't fair.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>You're so sweet—it isn't fair.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Smiling down at her struggles, rejoicing in +his strength, her weakness, he gently draws +her near.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>knows what is coming</i>]</p> + +<p>No, Rex.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Yes.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 6]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>You mustn't.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>But I will.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He laughs and kisses her lightly on the cheek. +Therefore she struggles furiously. Therefore +he does it again. And again. Suddenly +he enfolds her completely and kisses her +passionately—cheeks, mouth, eyes—until +she gasps in alarm. Laughter has gone from +them now.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Oh, please!... some one will come.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with the intoxication of such moments</i>]</p> + +<p>I don't care who comes—I love you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>No ... let me go.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Not till you kiss me, Jean. [<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> hesitates, +brushes his cheek lightly with her lips, and in +pretty confusion tries to escape.</i>] Not till you<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 7]</span> +say you love me, Jean. [<i>Eyes hidden in his +coat, she bobs her head. He laughs and loves it.</i>] +Say it!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I—er—do.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Do <i>what</i>?... <i>Say</i> it!...</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She cannot. He swings her about, bringing +her face close to his.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I love you, Rex. Are you sure you love +me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Am I sure! You irresistible little—</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Begins to kiss her. Masculine triumph.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>And want to marry me, Rex?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stops—startled—had not thought of that</i>]</p> + +<p>Why—er—of course. What did you suppose!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Drops his eyes, sobered.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 8]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>feminine triumph</i>]</p> + +<p>And me "a penniless orphing"?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>fascinated by the way she says it, he laughs. +Then, his honor touched</i>]</p> + +<p>Why, what kind of a man do you take me for!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>And wants her lips again.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>giving herself to him, head sinks upon his +shoulder</i>]</p> + +<p>Then, oh, Rex, love me and be nice to me +and—and take me away from all this!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She covers her face with her hands and sobs. +He pats her tenderly, with a manly look on +his face.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> comes up from the garden. She is +dressed in white with a garden hat, a garden +basket filled with flowers in one hand, long +scissors in the other. She is <span class="smcap">John's</span> wife, +the mistress of the house, sister-in-law to +<span class="smcap">Jean</span>; conspicuously a "sweet" woman, +affectedly so, a contrast with <span class="smcap">Jean's</span> more +modern, less delicate charm. <span class="smcap">Jean</span> is frank<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 9]</span> +and brave, <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> indirect and timid, pretty +but fading, forty but fighting it.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p> + +<p>It's all right, Lucy—we're engaged!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Well, I should hope so!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Shoots a look at <span class="smcap">Jean</span>, "So?"</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>recovering himself</i>]</p> + +<p>I have often tried to thank you and good old +John for letting me come over here so much, +but now! How can I <i>ever</i> thank you? See-what-I-mean?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>I'll tell you how. Behave yourself after you +are married to John's little sister.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Rex, have you had a fearful past? How fascinating!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 10]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>I'm going to have a glorious future, all right.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Not unless you do as I tell you. Going to obey +me, Rex?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>You bet I am.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Then begin now. Go!... Get out! [<i>She +pushes <span class="smcap">Rex</span>, laughing and protesting, toward the +garden.</i>] I want to tell Lucy how nice you are. +Run along over to the golf club, and by and +by—if you <i>are</i> a good boy—you can take me +out in your new car. [<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span> kisses the hand on +his arm and leaves, laughing.</i>] My dear, he has +five cars! Thank you so much.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Alone, they throw off the mask worn before +men.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Now, deary, tell me all about it. How did it +happen?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Oh, I simply followed your advice.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 11]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Picked a quarrel with him?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes. I pretended to believe in woman suffrage!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Good! They hate that.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I told him all men were bullying brutes!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>They are! And then you ran away?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Of course.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>And he after you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Of course.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>And you let him catch you?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 12]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Of cour—well ... he caught me.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>They both laugh.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>I can guess the rest.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Why, it didn't take five minutes.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>And now it's to last through all eternity.... +Isn't love wonderful?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Um-hum. Wonderful.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>They begin to cull out the flowers.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But you do love him, dear, don't you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>arranging flowers</i>]</p> + +<p>I did then. I don't now. Why is that, Lucy?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Oh, but you will learn to love him. [<i>Jean +shrugs, drops flowers, and turns away.</i>] Now,<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 13]</span> +now! no worrying—it brings wrinkles! [<i>Patting +Jean's shoulder.</i>] Rex is just the sort to give +the woman he adores everything in the world.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>wriggling out of <span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> embrace</i>]</p> + +<p>I am not the woman he adores.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Why, Jean! He's engaged to you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>But he's in love with my sister. You know +that as well as I do.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>uncomfortably</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, well, he was once, but not now. Men +admire these independent women, but they +don't marry them. Nobody wants to marry a +sexless freak with a scientific degree.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Oh, what's the use, Lucy? He's still wild +about Helen, and she still laughs at him. So +you and John have trotted out the little sister. +Why not be honest about it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 14]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Well, I may be old-fashioned, but I don't +think it's nice to talk this way when you're just +engaged.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Here comes your "sexless freak"—not with +a degree, either.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>following <span class="smcap">Jean's</span> gaze</i>]</p> + +<p>With a man!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiling</i>]</p> + +<p>With <i>my</i> man.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span>, with <span class="smcap">Rex</span> bending toward her +eagerly, appears. She is a beautiful woman +of twenty-nine, tall, strong, glorious—plenty +of old-fashioned charm, despite her +new-fashioned ideas. She is dressed in a +tennis costume and is swinging a racquet.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>But they told me you were going to stay +abroad all winter.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 15]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>My work, Rex—I had to get back to work.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Work!... You are too good to work.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>amused, not jealous</i>]</p> + +<p>Is this your high-powered car, Rex? Have +you learned to run it yet?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>startled</i>]</p> + +<p>But ... well ... you see, I met Helen +on the way. See-what-I-mean?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, we see.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>But I hadn't seen her for so long. I thought— +[<i>Looks from <span class="smcap">Helen</span> to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>] ... wait, I'll get +the car.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>He hurries off.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Why couldn't she have stayed abroad!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 16]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Helen, don't talk about your work before +Lucy—it shocks her.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, very well; make it my 'career'!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>arm around <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Sssh!—that's worse.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Helen, dear, I deem it my duty to tell you +that you are being talked about.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Lucy, dear, do you always find your true +happiness in duty?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Well, if you think you are going back to that +horrid place again ... after what happened +that night? John won't hear of it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>If the Baker Institute of Medical Experiment +is not a respectable place you should make John +resign as trustee.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>She laughs it off.</i></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 17]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>John is trustee of—oh, nearly everything. +That makes it all the worse. It isn't as if you +had to work.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, but John is so rich now, his credit can +stand it. And you oughtn't to mind! Why, +some of our most fashionable families now contain +freaks like me. It's becoming quite smart, +just as in former days one of the sons would go +into the Church or the navy.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Well, of course, I am old-fashioned, but going +down-town every day with the men,—it seems +so unwomanly.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But wasn't I womanly for years? Instead of +going down-town and working with highbrows, +I stayed up-town and played with lowbrows—until +I was bored to death.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>sighs</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, that's what comes of going to college, +leaving the home, getting these new ideas. All<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 18]</span> +the same, Helen, the men, really nice men, don't +like it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Well, you see, I don't like really nice men, +so that makes it agreeable all around.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>If it were only art or music or something +feminine, but that awful laboratory! How can +a lady poison poor, innocent little monkeys?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>If I were a lady I'd <i>dine</i> with monkeys.... +Do you know what the word means, Lucy? In +Anglo-Saxon times "lady" meant "one who +gives loaves"; now, one who <i>takes</i> a loaf.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Very clever, my dear, but some day you'll be +sorry. No man, Helen, likes a woman to have +independent views.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Helen can afford to have independent views; +she has an independent income—she earns it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 19]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Independent income! Her salary wouldn't +pay for your hats.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>All the same, I wish I had gone to college; I +wish I had learned a profession.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>What have these New Women accomplished? +Just one thing: they are destroying chivalry!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Not entirely, Lucy, not entirely. For instance, +I am the best assistant Ernest Hamilton has, +but the worst paid; the others are all men. +Hurray for chivalry!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Well, I'm just an old-fashioned wife. Woman's +sphere is the home. My husband says so.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But suppose you haven't any husband! What +can a spinster do in the home?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p><i>Stay</i> in it—till she gets one! That's what the +old-fashioned spinster used to do.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 20]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>The old-fashioned spinster used to spin.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>At any rate, the old-fashioned spinster did +not stay out of her home all night and get +herself compromised, talked about, sent abroad! +Or, if she did, she knew enough to remain abroad +until the gossip blew over.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Lucy turns to leave.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>mischievously</i>]</p> + +<p>Ah, that wonderful night! [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> turns back, +amazed.</i>] The night we discovered the Hamilton +antitoxin, the night that made the Baker Institute +famous! And, just think, I had a hand in it, +Lucy, a hand in the unwomanly work of saving +children's lives! But, of course, an old-fashioned +spinster would have blushed and said: "Excuse +me, Doctor Hamilton, but we must now let a +year's work go to waste because you are a man +and I am a woman, and it's dark outdoors!" +... That's the way to preserve true chivalry.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>You think we can't see through all this? +Science—fiddlesticks! The good-looking young<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 21]</span> +scientist—that's why you couldn't stay abroad. +We see it, John sees it, and now every one +will see it. Then how will you feel?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ernest <i>is</i> rather good-looking, isn't he?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Do you think your brother will let you marry +a mere scientist!... Oh, well, Doctor Hamilton +is in love with his work—fortunately.... +Besides, he's a thoroughbred; he wouldn't even +look at a girl who throws herself at his head.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>So I needn't try any longer? Too bad.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>losing her temper and going</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, you New Women are quite superior, +aren't you?... Thank heavens, little Jean +didn't elbow <i>her</i> way into men's affairs; she had +no unwomanly ambitions for a career! But she +is engaged to Rex Baker!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Jean, is this true?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 22]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>triumphantly</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Marriage</i> is woman's only true career.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Jean! You can't, you won't, you mustn't +marry Rex!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>flouncing out</i>]</p> + +<p>"She who will not when she may," my dear!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>avoiding <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> eyes</i>]</p> + +<p>Lucy hears John coming—he'd take her +head off if she weren't there to meet him. +[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> only looks at her.</i>] He bullies and browbeats +her worse than ever. I can't stand it +here much longer. It's getting on my nerves.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Jean! You care for Rex no more than I do.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>still evasive</i>]</p> + +<p>John's bringing out Uncle Everett and Cousin +Theodore. My dear, the whole family is up in +the air about you.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 23]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, I can take care of myself, but you!... +Jean, you're not the sort to marry Rex or any +other man, unless you simply can't live without +him.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after a little pause</i>]</p> + +<p>Well ... how can I live without him—without +some man? You can support yourself. +I can't.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But you wouldn't live on a man you didn't +really love!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Why not? Lucy does; most wives live on men +they don't really love. To stop doing so and get +divorced is wrong, you know.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Jean, Jean, poor little Jean!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Well, I'd rather have domestic unhappiness +of my own than watch other people's all my life.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 24]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I don't like to hurt you, dear, but—[<i>Takes +<span class="smcap">Jean's</span> face and raises it.</i>] How about that nice +boy at the Harvard Law School?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Don't! [<i>Controls herself, then, in a low voice</i>] +Bob is <i>still</i> at the Law School, Helen.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Can't you wait, dear?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>He never asked me to, Helen.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>He would, if you let him.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>It wouldn't be fair. It takes so long to get +started. Everything costs so much. Why, nowadays, +men in the professions, unless they have +private means, can't marry until nearly <i>forty</i>. +When Bob is forty I'll be forty, Helen.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ah, but when a girl really cares!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 25]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Helen, do <i>you</i> know?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Never mind about me—you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Oh, we'll get over it, I suppose.... People +do! Some day, perhaps, he'll smile and say: +"Just think, I once loved <i>that</i> fat old thing!" +[<i>Suddenly changes to sobbing.</i>] Helen! when Rex +caught me and kissed me I shut my eyes and +tried to think it was Bob.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>takes <span class="smcap">Jean</span> in her arms</i>]</p> + +<p>You can't keep on thinking so, dear.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>But that isn't the worst! When he held me +fast and I couldn't get away, I began ... to +forget Bob ... to forget everything ... +[<i>Breaks off, overcome with shame.</i>] But not now, +not now! It's not the same thing at all. [<i>Buries +face in <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> breast and sobs it out.</i>] Oh, I +feel like the devil, dear.... And all this time<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 26]</span> +he doesn't really want me—he wants you, you! +I trapped him into it; I trapped him!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>And I know Rex—he's a good sport; he'll +stick to it, if you do, dear—only you won't! +You've caught him by playing on his worst—don't +hold him by playing on his best!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>But what shall I do? I'm nearly twenty-six. +I've got to escape from home in some way.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But what a way!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span> returns.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Ready, Jean? [<i>To <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Lucy and John +and your Cousin Theodore are in there having a +fine, old-fashioned family fight with the judge.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>With Uncle Everett? What about?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>They shut up when they saw me. All I heard<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 27]</span> +was the parson—"Marriage is a social institution." +Grand old row, though. [<i>A <span class="smcap">Butler</span> +and <span class="smcap">Footman</span> appear, wheeling a tea-wagon.</i>] +Looks as if they were coming out here.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Then I am going in. [<i>Detaining <span class="smcap">Jean</span>.</i>] You +will follow my advice?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, I don't know. Soon or late I must follow +the only profession I have learned.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> leaves with <span class="smcap">Rex</span>. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> watches them, +sighs, and goes in. The <span class="smcap">Servants</span> arrange +the tea-table and go into the house.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> comes out, followed by her husband, +<span class="smcap">John</span>, and the <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, who is <span class="smcap">Uncle Everett</span>, +and <span class="smcap">Cousin Theodore</span>.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span>, the masterful type of successful American +business man; well set up, close-cropped +mustache, inclined to baldness; +keen eye, vibrant voice, quick movements, +quick decisions, quick temper.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Uncle Everett</span> is a genial satirist with a<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 28]</span> +cynical tolerance of the ways of the world, +which he understands, laughs at, and +rather likes.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Cousin Theodore</span>, a care-worn rector, who, +though he buttons his collar behind, likes +those who don't; a noble soul, self-sacrificing +and sanctified, but he does not obtrude +his profession upon others—never +talks shop unless asked to do so, and prides +himself upon not being a bigot.</i></p> + +<p><i>They are continuing an earnest discussion, +with the intimate manner of friendly members +of the same family. <span class="smcap">John</span>, <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, and +<span class="smcap">Theodore</span> deeply concerned; <span class="smcap">Uncle Everett</span> +detached and amused.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But, Uncle Everett, hasn't Aunt Julia always +been a good wife to you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Quite so, quite so, a good wife, Theodore, a +good wife.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>And a <i>devoted</i> mother to your children, Uncle +Everett?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 29]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Devoted, Lucy, devoted.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>She has always obeyed you, Uncle Everett.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Yes, John—a true, old-fashioned woman.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>She has been a great help to me in the parish +work, Uncle Everett.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>An earnest worker in the vineyard, Theodore—in +fact, I might say, a model female.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p> + +<p>Then why, <i>why</i> do you want a divorce?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Because, damn it, I don't like her!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But think of poor Aunt Julia!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 30]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>But, damn it, she doesn't like <i>me</i>.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>wagging head sadly</i>]</p> + +<p>Ah, yes, I suppose there has been fault on +both sides.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Not at all! No fault on either side.... Both +patterns of Christian fortitude to the end! We +still are. Just listen to this telegram.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>puzzled</i>]</p> + +<p>From Aunt Julia?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Yes from Aunt Julia in Reno. Not used +to travelling without me; knew I'd worry. +Thoughtful of her, wasn't it? [<i>Puts on glasses.</i>] +A night letter. Much cheaper; your Aunt Julia +was always a frugal wife. Besides, she never +could keep within ten words. [<i>Reads.</i>] "Arrived +safely. Charming rooms with plenty of air and +sunlight. Our case docketed for March 15th. +Wish you were here to see the women in<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 31]</span> +Divorcee Row—overdressed and underbred." +Rather neat, eh? "Overdressed and underbred." +"I should love to hear <i>your</i> comments on the +various types." Now, isn't that sweet of her? +Well, you know, I always <i>could</i> make her laugh—except +when I made her cry. "Write soon. +With love. Julia." Now [<i>folds telegram</i>], isn't +that a nice message? From a wife suing for +divorce? You happily married people couldn't +beat that.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Pats telegram and pockets it tenderly.</i></p> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 640px;"> +<img src="images/i001.jpg" width="640" height="386" alt="" title="" /> +<p><i>From a photograph by White Studio.</i></p> +<p> <span class="smcap">All:</span> Then why, <i>why</i> do you want a divorce?<br /> + <span class="smcap">Judge:</span> Because, damn it, I don't like her.</p> +</div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>like a practical business man</i>]</p> + +<p>But if there's no other woman, no other man—what's +it all about?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>She likes her beefsteak well done; I like mine +underdone. She likes one window open—about +so much [<i>indicates four inches</i>]; I like all the windows +open wide! She likes to stay at home; I +like to travel. She loves the opera and hates the +theatre; I love the theatre and hate the opera.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Stop! aren't you willing to make a few little +sacrifices for each other? Haven't you character +enough for that?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 32]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>We've been making sacrifices for twenty-five +years, a quarter of a century! Character enough +to last us now.... Why, I remember the first +dinner we had together after we were pronounced +man and wife, with a full choral service +and a great many expensive flowers—quite +a smart wedding, Lucy, for those simple +days. "Darling," I asked my blushing bride, +"do you like tutti-frutti ice-cream?" "I adore +it, dearest," she murmured. I hated it, but +nobly sacrificed myself and gave her tutti-frutti +and gained character every evening of +our honeymoon! Then when we got back and +began our "new life" together in our "little +home," my darling gave <i>me</i> tutti-frutti and indigestion +<i>once a week</i> until I nearly died!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But why didn't you tell her?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>I did; I did. Got chronic dyspepsia and +struck! "<i>You</i> may adore this stuff, <i>darling</i>," I +said, "but I hate it." "So do I, dearest," says +she. "Then why in thunder have you had it all<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 33]</span> +these years, <i>sweetheart</i>?" "For your sake, <i>beloved</i>!" +And that tells the whole story of our +married life. We have nothing in common but +a love of divorce and a mutual abhorrence +of tutti-frutti. "Two souls with but a single +thought, two hearts that beat as one!" It has +been the dream of our lives to get apart, and +each has nobly refrained for the other's sake. +And all in vain!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Bah! All a cloak to hide his real motive. And +he knows it!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after a painful pause</i>]</p> + +<p>I may as well confess. [<i>Looks around to see if +overheard. Whispers.</i>] For over twenty years +I—I have broken my marriage vow! [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> +drops her eyes. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> aghast. <span class="smcap">John</span> wags +head.</i>] So has your Aunt Julia!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>No! not that!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Well, we solemnly promised to love each +other until death did us part. We have broken<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 34]</span> +that sacred vow! I don't love <i>her</i>; she doesn't +love <i>me</i>—not in the least!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Rot! A matured, middle-aged man, a distinguished +member of the bar—break up his +home for that? Damned rot!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Right again, John. That's not why I'm breaking +up my home. I prefer my club. What +does the modern home amount to? Merely a +place to leave your wife.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Of course, it doesn't matter about the poor +little wife left at home.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Wrong, Lucy, it does matter. That's why I +<i>stayed</i> at home and was bored to death with her +prattle about clothes and the opera, instead of +dining at the club with my intellectual equals, +picking up business there, getting rich like +John, supplying her with <i>more</i> clothes and a +whole <i>box</i> at the opera, like yours, Lucy.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 35]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shoots a glance at her husband</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, that's the way you men <i>always</i> talk. It +never occurs to you that business, business, +<i>business</i> is <i>just</i> as much of a bore to us!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Wrong again! It did occur to <i>me</i>—hence +the divorce! She couldn't stand seeing <i>me</i> +bored; I couldn't stand seeing <i>her</i> bored. Once +we could deceive each other; but now—too +well acquainted; our happy home—a hollow +mockery!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>You ought to be ashamed! I love my home!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>So do I.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>He glances sternly at <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>nervously</i>]</p> + +<p>So do I.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>All right. Stick to it, if you love it. Only, +don't claim credit for doing what you enjoy.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 36]</span> +I stuck to my home for a quarter of a century +and disliked it the whole time. At last I'm +free to say so. Just think of it, Lucy, free to +utter those things about marriage we all know +are true but don't dare say! Free to be honest, +John! No longer a hypocrite, no longer a liar! +A soul set free, Theodore—two souls, in fact. +"Two souls with but a single thought——"</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Stop! You have <i>children</i> to consider, not +merely your own selfish happiness!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Yes, think of Tom and little Julia!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>We did ... for a quarter of a century—sacrificed +everything to them, even our self-respect; +but now—what's the use? We are childless +now. Tom and Julia have both left us for +"little homes" of their own to love.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Ah, but don't you want them to have the old +home to come back to?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 37]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>"No place like home" for children, eh? +You're right—can't have too much of it. Most +children only have <i>one</i> home. Ours will have +<i>two</i>! When they get bored with one they can +try the other.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But, seriously, Uncle Everett—"Whom God +hath joined together!"</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>clasping <span class="smcap">John's</span> arm</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, Uncle Everett, marriages are made in +heaven.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>I see; quite so; but your Aunt Julia and I +were joined together by a pink parasol made in +Paris.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>What rot! Stop your fooling and speak the +truth, man.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Just what I'm doing—that's why you think +I'm fooling. A very pretty parasol—but it +wasn't made in heaven. You see, God made poor,<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 38]</span> +dear Julia pale, but on that fatal day, twenty-five +years ago, the pink parasol, not God, made +her rosy and irresistible. I did the rest—with +the aid of a clergyman, whom I tipped even +more liberally than the waiter who served us +tutti-frutti. Blame <i>me</i> for it, blame her, the +parasol, the parson, but do not, my dear Theodore, +blame the Deity for our own mistakes. +It's so blasphemous.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>A pause. <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> takes place at the tea-table +to serve tea.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>And to think we invited <i>you</i>, of all people, +here to-day of all days! [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] We mustn't +let Rex know. The Bakers don't believe in +divorce.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>What's this? You don't mean that Jean——?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Yes! Just in time—before he knew Helen +was back.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>jumps up</i>]</p> + +<p>She's landed him! She's landed him! We're +marrying into the Baker family! The Baker<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 39]</span> +family! [<i>Shaking hands right and left.</i>] Why, +she'll have more money than any of us!... +Well, well! We'll all have to stand around before +little Jean now!... My, my! Lucy, you're a +wonder! Those pearls—I'll buy them; they're +yours! Hurray for Lucy!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Kisses</i> <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>feeling her importance</i>]</p> + +<p>Now, if I could only get <i>Helen</i> out of this +awful mess and safely married to some nice +man!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>sipping his tea</i>]</p> + +<p>Meaning one having money?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>The Hamiltons are an older family than the +Bakers, Lucy, older than our own.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Meaning they <i>once</i> had money.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>still pacing to and fro</i>]</p> + +<p>Waste a beauty on a bacteriologist? A +crime!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 40]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>See here, John, Ernest Hamilton is the biggest +thing you've got in the Baker Institute! One +of the loveliest fellows in the world, too, and +if you expect me—why did you ask us here, +anyway?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Far as I can make out, we're here to help one +of John's sisters marry a man she doesn't love +and prevent the other from marrying the man +she does.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Oh, look here: I've nothing against young +Hamilton.... I <i>like</i> him—proud of all he's +done for the institute. Why, Mr. Baker is +tickled to death about the Hamilton antitoxin. +But, Theodore, this is a practical world. Your +scientific friend gets just two thousand dollars +a year!... Lucy, send for Helen.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> goes obediently.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Well, why not give the young man a raise?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Oh, that's not a bad salary for scientists, +college professors, and that sort of thing. Why,<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 41]</span> +even the head of the institute himself gets less +than the superintendent of my mills. No future +in science.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Perfectly practical, Theodore. The superintendent +of John's mills saves the company thousands +of dollars. These bacteriologists merely +save the nation thousands of babies. All our +laws, written and unwritten, value private +property above human life. I'm a distinguished +jurist and I always render my decisions accordingly. +I'd be reversed by the United States +Supreme Court if I didn't. We're all rewarded +in inverse ratio to our usefulness to society, +Theodore. That's why "practical men" think +changes are "dangerous."</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Muck-raker!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>It's all on a sliding scale, John. For keeping +up the cost of living you and old man Baker +get ... [<i>Stretches arms out full length.</i>] Heaven +only knows how much. For saving the Constitution +I get ... a good deal. [<i>Hands three<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 42]</span> +feet apart.</i>] For saving in wages and operating +expenses your superintendent gets so much. +[<i>Hands two feet apart.</i>] For saving human life +Ernest Hamilton gets that. [<i>Hands six inches +apart.</i>] For saving immortal souls Theodore +gets—[<i>Holds up two forefingers an inch apart.</i>] +Now, if any one came along and saved the +world——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>interrupts</i>]</p> + +<p>They crucified Him.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Muck-raker, muck-raker.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>returning</i>]</p> + +<p>Tried my best, John, but Helen says she +prefers to talk with you alone some time.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>furious</i>]</p> + +<p>She "prefers"? See here! Am I master in my +own house or not?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>But Helen is a guest in it now. No longer<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 43]</span> +under your control, John. She's the New +Woman.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>John, <i>you</i> can't stop that girl's marrying +Ernest, if she wants to; he's head over heels in +love with her.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>What! We thought he was in love with his +work!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>He thinks there's no hope for him, poor boy.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>And she is mad about him!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>And he is on the way out here now!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>What! He's coming to see her?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>No, no, thinks she's still in Paris—so she +was when I invited him, damn it—but some<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 44]</span>thing +had to be done and done delicately. +That's why I invited you two.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>bursts out laughing</i>]</p> + +<p>Beautiful! These lovers haven't met for a +month, and to-night there's a moon!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>also laughs</i>]</p> + +<p>You may as well give in, John. It's the simplest +solution.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>timidly</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, John, she's nearly thirty, and think how +she treats all the <i>nice</i> men.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Who's doing this? You go tell Helen ... +that her Uncle Everett wants to see her!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Lucy shrugs, starts reluctantly, and lingers +listening.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Now, uncle, you have more influence over +her than any of us—don't let her know about +... Aunt Julia. Helen thinks the world of you<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 45]</span>.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Of course not, never let the rising generation +suspect the truth about marriage—if you +want 'em to marry.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>There are other truths than unpleasant +truths, Uncle Everett, other marriages than unhappy +marriages.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Want me to tell her the truth about your +marriage?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>at the door</i>]</p> + +<p>Why uncle! Even <i>you</i> must admit that +Theodore and Mary are happy.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> is too much surprised to notice +<span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> presence.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Happy? What's that got to do with it? Marriage +is a social institution. Theodore said so.... +Every time a boy kisses a girl she should +first inquire: "A sacrifice for society?" And if +he says, "I want to gain character, sweet<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 46]</span>heart," +then—"Darling, do your duty!" and +he'll do it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Well, Theodore has certainly done <i>his</i> duty +by society—six children!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Then society hasn't done its duty by Theodore—only +one salary!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>The more credit to him! He and Mary have +sacrificed everything to their children and the +Church—even health!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>We don't need your pity! We don't want +your praise! Poverty, suffering, even separation, +have only drawn us closer together. We +love each other through it all! Why, in the last +letter the doctor let her write she said, she +said—[<i>Suddenly overcome with emotion, turns +abruptly.</i>] If you'll excuse me, Lucy ... Sanitarium +... the telephone.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> goes into the house.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 47]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Not praise or pity but something more substantial +and, by George, I'll get it for them!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Turns to <span class="smcap">John</span>, who interrupts.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>See the example <i>he</i> sets to society—I honor +him for it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Fine! but that doesn't seem to restore Mary's +radiant health, Theodore's brilliant youth.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Ah, but they have their <i>children</i>—think how +they adore those beautiful children!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>No, don't think how they adore them, think +how they <i>rear</i> those beautiful children—in the +streets; one little daughter dead from contagion; +one son going to the devil from other +things picked up in the street! If marriage is a +social institution, look at it socially. Why, a +marriage like mine is worth a dozen like theirs—to +Society. Look at my well-launched children; +look at my useful career, as a jackal to<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 48]</span> +Big Business; look at my now perfectly contented +spouse!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But if you are divorced!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Is the object of marriage merely to stay +married?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But character, think of the character they +have gained.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Oh, is it to gain character at the expense of +helpless offspring? Society doesn't gain by that—it +loses, Lucy, it loses.... But simply because, +God bless 'em, "they love each other +through it all," you sentimental standpatters +believe in lying about it, do you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>bored, whips out pocket check-book and fountain +pen</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, talk, talk, talk! Money talks for <i>me</i>.... +But they're both so confoundedly proud!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 49]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Go on, write that check! [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> writes.</i>] They +must sacrifice their pride, John. Nothing else +left to sacrifice, I'm afraid.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Well, you get this to them somehow.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Hands check to <span class="smcap">Judge.</span></i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Aha! Talk did it.... Five thousand? Generous +John!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>impatiently</i>]</p> + +<p>Never mind about me. <i>That</i> problem is all +settled; now about Helen.... Lucy! I thought +I told you——</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, in a guilty hurry, escapes into the +house.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>John, charity never settles problems; it perpetuates +them. You can't cure social defects by +individual treatment.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>more impatiently</i>]</p> + +<p>Does talk settle anything?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 50]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Everything. We may even settle the marriage +problem if we talk <i>honestly</i>. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> returns +from telephoning to the sanitarium.</i>] Theodore, +it's all right! John honestly believes in setting +an example to society! Crazy to have his sisters +go and do likewise!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Splendid, John! I knew you'd see it—an +ideal match.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>overriding <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Right, Theodore, ideal. This scientific suitor +will shower everything upon her John honors +and admires: A host of servants—I mean sacrifices; +carriages and motors—I mean character +and morals; just what her brother advocates +in Sunday-school—for others. An ideal marriage.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>hands in pockets</i>]</p> + +<p>You think you're awfully funny, don't you? +Humph! I do more for the Church, for education, +art, science than all the rest of the family<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 51]</span> +combined. Incidentally, I'm not divorced.... +But this is a practical world, Theodore, I've got +to protect my own.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>returning</i>]</p> + +<p>Helen will be here in a minute.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>suddenly getting an idea</i>]</p> + +<p>Ah! I have it! I know how to keep them +apart!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Be careful, John—these two love each other.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Yes, young people still fall in love. Whether +we make it hard or easy for them—they <i>will</i> +do it. But, mark my words, unless we <i>reform +marriage</i>, there is going to be a sympathetic +<i>strike</i> against it—as there is already against +having children. Instead of making it harder to +get apart, we've got to make it easier to stay +together. Otherwise the ancient bluff will soon +be called!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Sssh! Here she comes.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 52]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p><i>Please</i> don't talk this way before her.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>All right, I'm not divorced yet,... still in +the conspiracy of silence.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> appears at the door. A sudden silence.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>kissing <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and <span class="smcap">Judge</span> affectionately</i>]</p> + +<p>I'm <i>so</i> sorry to hear about dear Mary. [<i>To +<span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] But why didn't Aunt Julia come? Is +she ill, too?</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Slight panic in the family party.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>She's gone to Re-Re-Rio Janeiro—I mean +to Santa Barbara—wants a complete change—The +Rest Cure. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> apart.</i>] Lie +number one.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Another silence. <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> makes tea for <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>taking the cup</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, go on!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Go on with what?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 53]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stirring tea</i>]</p> + +<p>Your discussion of marriage.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>How did you know?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, it's in the air. Everybody's talking about +it nowadays.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She sips tea, and the others look conscious.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>My dear, marriage is woman's only true +career.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>raising her shield of flippancy</i>]</p> + +<p>So Lucy tells me, Cousin Theodore. But a +woman cannot pursue her career, she must be +pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Ahem. As we passed through the library a +while ago, I think I saw your little sister being +pursued by her career.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Yes, uncle, but Jean is a true woman. I'm +only a New Woman.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 54]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>All the same, you'll be an old woman some +day—if you don't watch out.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ah, yes, my life's a failure. I haven't trapped +a man into a contract to support me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>picks up knitting bag and does her best to look +like "just an old-fashioned wife"</i>]</p> + +<p>You ought to be ashamed! Making marriage +so mercenary. Helen, dear, haven't you New +Women any sentiment?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Enough sentiment not to make a mercenary +marriage, Lucy, dear.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Ahem! And what kind of a marriage do you +expect to make?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Not any, thank you, uncle.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>What! You don't believe in holy matrimony?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 55]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Only as a last extremity, uncle, like unholy +divorce.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>jumps</i>]</p> + +<p>What do <i>you</i> know about that?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I know all about it! [<i>Others jump.</i>] I have +been reading up on the subject.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>All relax, relieved, but now gather about the +young woman.</i></p> + +<p><span class="lbrace"><span class="ft30">}</span>[<i>Together</i>]</span></p> +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Come now, simply because many young people rush into marriage without thinking—</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Simply because these New Women—</p> + + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Simply because one marriage in a thousand ends in divorce—</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 56]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Wait!... One in a thousand? Dear me, +what an idealist you are, John! In America, +one marriage in every eleven now ends in +divorce. And yet you wonder why I hesitate.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>One in eleven—rot! [<i>To <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] All this +muck-raking should be suppressed by the Government. +"One in eleven!" Bah!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>demurely</i>]</p> + +<p>The Government's own statistics, John.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They all turn to the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> for denial, but he +nods confirmation, with a complacent +smile, murmuring: "Two souls with but a +single thought."</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>sweetly knitting</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, I may be old-fashioned, but it seems to +<i>me</i> that nice girls shouldn't <i>think</i> of such things.... +Their husbands will tell them all they +ought to know about marriage—after they're +married.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 57]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ah, I see. Nice girls mustn't think until after +they rush in, but they mustn't rush in until +after they think. You married people make it +all so simple for us.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Right! The way to cure all evil is for nice +people to close their minds and mouths to +it. It's "unpleasant" for a pure mind, and it +"leaves a bad taste in the mouth." So there +you are, my dear.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>coming in strong</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, talk, talk, talk! I've had enough. See +here, young lady, I offered to pay all your expenses +abroad for a year. You didn't seem to +appreciate it—well, the trustees of the institute +are now to give Doctor Hamilton a year +abroad. How do you like that?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>All turn and look at <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Splendid! Just what he needs! Doctor Metchnikoff +told me in Paris that America always<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 58]</span> +kills its big men with routine. When do we +start?</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>She tries to look very businesslike.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>springing to his feet</i>]</p> + +<p>"We!" Do you think <i>you</i> are going?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Of course! I'm his assistant—quite indispensable +to him.... [<i>To all.</i>] Oh, well, if you +don't believe me, ask him!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>pacing to and fro</i>]</p> + +<p>What next! Paris! Alone, with a man!—Here's +where I call a halt!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But if my work calls me, I don't really see +what you have to say about it, John.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Better not defy me, Helen.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>He scowls.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Better not bully me, John.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>She smiles.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 59]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I am your brother.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But not my owner! [<i>Then, instead of defiance, +she turns with animated interest to the others.</i>] +You know, all women used to be owned by men. +Formerly they ruled us by physical force—now +by financial force.... But at last they +are to lose even <i>that</i> hold upon us—poor dears!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Pats <span class="smcap">John's</span> shoulder playfully.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>amused, but serious</i>]</p> + +<p>That's all right in theory, but this is a practical +world. My pull got you into the institute; +my pull can get you out. You give up this wild +idea or give up your job!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>delighted</i>]</p> + +<p>What did I tell you? Financial force! They +still try it, you see. [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] What if I refused +to give up either, John?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 60]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>emphatic</i>]</p> + +<p>Then as a trustee of the institute I ask for +your resignation—right here and now! [<i>Turns +away.</i>] I guess <i>that</i> will hold her at home a +while.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I simply <i>must</i> go to Paris now. I've nothing +else to do!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a confident smile</i>]</p> + +<p>You will, eh? Who'll pay your expenses this +time?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>matter of fact</i>]</p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Helen! please! You oughtn't to say such +things even in joke.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>He'll take me along as his private secretary, +if I ask him.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>A pause. The others look at one another +helplessly.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 61]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>John, she's got you. You might as well quit.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Nonsense. I have just begun. You'll see.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>If you're so independent, my dear, why don't +you marry your scientist and be done with it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>resents the intrusion but hides her feelings</i>]</p> + +<p>Can you keep a secret? [<i>They all seem to think +they can and gather near.</i>] He has never asked me!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>The family seems annoyed.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with match-making ardor</i>]</p> + +<p>No wonder, dear, he has never seen you except +in that awful apron. But those stunning dinner +gowns John bought you in Paris! My dear, in +evening dress you are quite irresistible!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Irresistible? Pink parasols. What a system!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 62]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But you see, I don't <i>want</i> him to ask me. +I've had all I could do to keep him from it.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The family seems perplexed.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>She's got <i>some</i> sense left.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But suppose he did ask you, dear?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Why, I'd simply refer the matter to John, of +course. If John said, "Love him," I'd love him; +if John said, "Don't love him," I'd turn it off +like electric light.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The family is becoming exasperated.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>insinuating</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, you can't deceive us. We know how much +you admire him, Helen.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, no you don't! [<i>The family is amazed.</i>] +Not even he does. Did you ever hear how he<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 63]</span> +risked his life in battle down in Cuba? Why, +he's a perfect hero of romance!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>mutters</i>]</p> + +<p>Never even saw a war—mollycoddle germ +killer!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Not in the war with Spain—the war against +yellow fever, John.... No drums to make +him brave, no correspondents to make him +famous—he merely rolled up his sleeve and let +an innocent-looking mosquito bite him. Then +took notes on his symptoms till he became delirious.... +He happened to be among those +who recovered.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>The family is impressed.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Old-fashioned maidens used to marry their +heroes, Helen.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>arising, briskly</i>]</p> + +<p>But this new-fashioned hero gets only two +thousand dollars a year, Theodore.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She turns to escape.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 64]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>nodding</i>]</p> + +<p>I told you she had sense.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Helen! You selfish, too? Why, Mary and I +married on half that, didn't we, John?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>He looks around. The family looks away.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with unintended emphasis</i>]</p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton needs every cent of that +enormous salary—books, travel, scientific conferences—all +the advantages he simply must +have if he's to keep at the top and do his best +work for the world. The most selfish thing a +girl can do is to marry a poor man.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>With that she hurries up the steps.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>following her</i>]</p> + +<p>All the same, deep down under it all, she has +a true woman's yearning for a home to care for +and a mate to love. [<i>She is silently crying.</i>] Why, +Helen, dear, what's the matter?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 65]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>hiding her emotion</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, why can't they let me <i>alone</i>! They make +what ought to be the holiest and most beautiful +thing in life the most horrible and dishonest. +They make me hate marriage—hate it!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Unseen by <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, the <span class="smcap">Butler</span> steps out.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>patting her shoulder</i>]</p> + +<p>Just you wait till the right one comes along.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton has come, ma'am.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with an old-fashioned gasp</i>]</p> + +<p>Good heavens!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>And runs to the family.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Show Doctor Hamilton out.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> goes.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>A plot to entrap him! [<i>Running to and fro<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 66]</span> +wildly.</i>] But it's no use! I'm going ... until +he's gone!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> runs into the garden.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Fighting hard, poor child.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But what'll we do?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Don't worry—she can't stay away—the +sweet thing!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Now listen, we must all jolly him up—he'll +be shy in these surroundings.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Going to surrender, John?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>What I am going to do requires finesse.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>in a flutter, seeing <span class="smcap">Hamilton</span> approach</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, dear! how does one talk to highbrows?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 67]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Talk to him about himself! Highbrows, lowbrows, +all men love it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest Hamilton</span>, discoverer of the Hamilton +antitoxin, is a fine-looking fellow of +about thirty-five, without the spectacles or +absent-mindedness somehow expected of +scientific genius. He talks little but very +rapidly and sees everything. It does not +occur to him to be shy or embarrassed "in +these surroundings"—not because he is +habituated to so much luxury, on three +thousand a year, nor because he despises +it; he likes it; but he likes other things even +more. That is why he works for two thousand +a year, instead of working for fat, +fashionable fees in private practice.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span> meets his distinguished guest at the +door—effusively, yet with that smiling +condescension which wealthy trustees sometimes +show to "scientists, college professors, +and that sort of thing."</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Ah, Doctor Hamilton! Delighted to see you +on my little farm at last. Out here I'm just a +plain, old-fashioned farmer.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 68]</span></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> glances about at the magnificence +and smiles imperceptibly. He makes no +audible replies to the glad welcome, but +bows urbanely, master of himself and the +situation.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton! So good of you to come.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>How are you, Ernest? Glad to see you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>I don't think you've met our uncle, Judge +Grey.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>humorously adopting their manner</i>]</p> + +<p>Charmed! I've heard so much about you!—from +my niece.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest's</span> rescue, like a tactful hostess</i>]</p> + +<p>A cup of tea, Doctor Hamilton?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>unperturbed by the reference to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Thanks.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 69]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>while <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> makes tea. Trustee manner</i>]</p> + +<p>I have often desired to express my admiration +of your heroism in the war against yellow fever +in er—ah—<i>Cuba</i>, when you let an innocent-looking +mosquito bite you——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>nodding and poising sugar-tongs</i>]</p> + +<p>And then took notes on your symptoms till +you became delirious!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>No sugar, thanks.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>He looks from one to another with considerable +interest.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>No drums to make you famous, no war correspondents +to make you brave—I mean the +other way round.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> poising cream pitcher</i>]</p> + +<p>No cream, please.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Senator Root says this one triumph alone<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 70]</span> +saves <i>twenty million dollars a year</i> to the business +interests of the United States! I call that +true patriotism.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a nod of assent to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Lemon.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with sincerity</i>]</p> + +<p>General Wood says it saves more <i>human +lives</i> a year than were lost in the whole Spanish +War! I call it service.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Colonel Goethals says the Panama Canal +could not have been built if it hadn't been for +you self-sacrificing scientists. Not only that, +but you have abolished forever from the United +States a scourge which for more than a century +had through periodic outbreaks spread terror, +devastation, and death.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>A pause.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>bored, but trying to hide it</i>]</p> + +<p>The ones who deserve your praise are the four +who died to prove that theory.... [<i>He smiles.</i>] +Of course, you all know their names.... [<i>He<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 71]</span> +looks at <span class="smcap">John</span>, who looks at <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, who looks at +<span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, who looks at <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>. He takes up his +cup.</i>] Delicious tea.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Ah, but they didn't do it for fame, for +money—that's the beauty of the sacrifice.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a smile</i>]</p> + +<p>Quite so.... That's what Congress told us +when we suggested a pension for the widow of +the first victim.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p> + +<p>What! Did Congress refuse the pension?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>finishes his tea</i>]</p> + +<p>They finally voted the sum of seventeen +dollars a month for the widow and no less than +two dollars a month extra for each of his children....</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Is that all?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 72]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>No.... We pestered Congress to death until, +a few years ago, they replaced the pension with +an annuity of one hundred and twenty-five dollars +a month—though some of them said it +was a very bad precedent to establish. [<i>Returns +cup to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] No more, thanks, delicious.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>And turns to admire the wide-sweeping view +of the farm, hands in pockets.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after a pause</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, I think our scientists might well be +called philanthropists.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Hardly! You see, every one <i>knows</i> the names +of philanthropists.... Better let it go at "scientists."</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>He's right. Philanthropists don't give their +lives, they give their names—have 'em carved +in stone over their institutes and libraries.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> approaches and joins his guest.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Charming little farm you have here.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 73]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton, America kills its big men +with routine. You are too valuable to the +nation to lose—the trustees think you need a +year abroad.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>That's strange, I came out here to suggest +that very thing.... Somebody has been saying +kind things about me in Paris. Just had a letter +from the great Metchnikoff—wants me to +come over and work in the Pasteur! Chance +of a lifetime!... You didn't have to jolly me +up to consent to that!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>pacing terrace with his guest, arm in arm</i>]</p> + +<p>By the by, my sister is rather keen on science.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Best assistant I ever had. You can pile an +awful lot of routine on a woman. The female of +the species is more faithful than the male.... +She's over there already. We can get right to +work.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>She'll be back before you start.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 74]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stops short</i>]</p> + +<p>I didn't know that.... Well, what is it?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> hesitates, turns to the family, all +watching with breathless interest.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Don't you see, old chap, under the circumstances +it would hardly do for her to go back +to Paris with you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Why not?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>You're a man.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiling</i>]</p> + +<p>You mean I'm dangerous?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But she's a woman.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>They mean <i>she's</i> dangerous.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 75]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>My dear fellow, we are going to ask you quite +frankly to decline to take her.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>looks about at the circle of anxious faces. He +wont let them read him</i>]</p> + +<p>So that's it, eh?... But it's the chance of +a lifetime for her, too. She needs it more than +I do. She's had so little chance to do original +work.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But she's a woman.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Just what has that to do with it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Everything. We have the highest respect for +you, Doctor Hamilton, but also ... one must +respect the opinions of the world, you know.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>thinks it over</i>]</p> + +<p>That's right. One must. I forgot to think of +that.... It's curious, but when working with<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 76]</span> +women of ability one learns to respect them so +much that one quite loses the habit of insulting +them. Too bad how new conditions spoil fine old +customs.... Suppose you let her go and let me +stay. I can find plenty to do here, I fancy.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I fear it would offend our generous benefactor, +Mr. Baker. He has set his heart on your going +abroad, meeting other big men, getting new +ideas for our great humanitarian work. [<i>The +family exchange glances while <span class="smcap">John</span> lies on.</i>] Besides, +my sister would only go to accommodate +you. She particularly desires to stay here this +winter. That's why she is returning so soon, +you see.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>believes it</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, I see.... I'm sure I have no desire to +<i>drag</i> her over with me.... [<i>Smiles at himself.</i>] +I rather thought the opportunity to continue +our experiments together ... but that's all +right.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Then it's all settled—you agree to go alone?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 77]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>a slight pause</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, alone. It's quite settled.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>How soon could you start?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>absently</i>]</p> + +<p>How soon? Why, just as soon as I get some +one to run my department.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Could my sister run it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiles</i>]</p> + +<p>Could she run it? It can't run without her! +She's as systematic as [<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]—as a good +housekeeper.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a satisfied look at the others</i>]</p> + +<p>Then <i>that's</i> all fixed! She'll stay when I tell +her that you want her to. Could you arrange +to start at once?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 78]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>hesitates</i>]</p> + +<p>By leaving here to-night, I could.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a triumphant look at the family</i>]</p> + +<p>Then I'll telephone for your passage—I have +a pull with all the steamship lines. [<i>Going.</i>] Of +course I hate to cut short your week-end, but I +don't want to spoil any scientific careers.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> hurries in to telephone. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> starts +too, as if to stop him but restrains the impulse. +He stands alone by the door gazing +out over the landscape while <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>, +and the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> discuss him in low +tones by the tea-table.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Can't you see, you stupid men! He's crazy +about her—but thinks there's no hope.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>When she finds he's leaving for a year ... +she'll change her mind about marriage!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> comes back to earth and to the house-party.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 79]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, joining them</i>]</p> + +<p>Ahem! We were just discussing the marriage +danger—I mean the marriage problem.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a smile</i>]</p> + +<p>Go right on—don't mind me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>old-friend manner</i>]</p> + +<p>See here! When are <i>you</i> ever going to marry?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>modern bachelor's laugh</i>]</p> + +<p>When am I ever going to get more than two +thousand a year?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Bah! what has money got to do with it! Just +you wait till the right one comes along.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> comes along, stealing up the steps +from the garden on tiptoe with the grave, +absorbed look of a hunter stalking game. +She catches sight of the man she wants +and stops short, as motionless as if frozen. +But not so! Her lovely hands were poised;<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 80]</span> +one of them now goes to her bosom and +presses there. There is nothing icy about +this New Woman now.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>as unconscious of danger as a mountain-lion on +an inaccessible height, smiles easily at his +sentimental old friend <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p> + +<p>How do you know "the right one" hasn't +come already?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> catches sight of <span class="smcap">Helen</span>. She +shakes her head in silent pleading, taps a +finger on her lips, and in a panic flees +noiselessly across toward the door.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>suppressing a laugh</i>]</p> + +<p>Then don't let her go by!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> stops at the door and makes a face at +<span class="smcap">Theodore</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>affecting indifference</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, I couldn't stop her, even if I wanted to.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>turning to wink at <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>How do you know? Did you ever ask her?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 81]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>To marry me? Oh, no! She hasn't any +money.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> is dumfounded</i>]</p> + +<p>Money! You wouldn't marry for money!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> draws near to hear the answer.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You don't suppose I'd marry a woman who +hadn't any? Most selfish thing a poor man can +do.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> is interested.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Oh, fiddlesticks! You modern young people—</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>interrupts</i>]</p> + +<p>Make her a sort of superior servant in an inferior +home—not that girl!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> is pleased.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Feministic nonsense! The old-fashioned womanly +woman—<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 82]</span>—</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Sentimental twaddle! What makes it more +"womanly" to do menial work <i>for</i> men than +intellectual work with them?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> delighted, applauds noiselessly.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>All the same, I'll bet you wouldn't let a little +thing like that stand in your way if you really +cared for a woman enough to marry her.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>benign and secure</i>]</p> + +<p>But, as it happens, I don't. Nothing could +induce me to marry.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> raises her chin, her eyes glitter dangerously.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>So you are going to run away to Europe like +a coward?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiles patronizingly</i>]</p> + +<p>Theodore, you are such an incorrigible idealist! +I have nothing to be afraid of—I simply +do not care to <i>marry</i>!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 83]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>That's just what <i>I</i> said!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>All turn and behold <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>My heavens!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>He steps back like a coward.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But I agree with you perfectly. [<i>She holds out +her hand to him.</i>] I was so afraid you believed in +marriage.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>He rushes to her eagerly.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>as the lovers shake hands</i>]</p> + +<p>You wronged him. Apologize.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Why—why—all this time, I thought <i>you</i> +had the usual attitude.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Wronged <i>her</i>. Both apologize.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Why didn't you ever tell me you had such +enlightened views?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 84]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Why didn't you ever tell me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Each understands the other now. Everything +lovely!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Think of the discussions we might have had!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Not too late yet. Julia and I had discussions +for a quarter of a century.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Don't think I had any hand in this. [<i>Laughs.</i>] +I was going to warn you, but now—it is unnecessary +now.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Warn me? What do you mean?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Can't you see? It was all a plot! [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> draws +near noiselessly.</i>] A plot to entrap you in marriage! +They had about given me up as a bad<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 85]</span> +job. <i>You</i> were my last hope. They were going +to throw me at your head. [<i>Louder but without +turning.</i>] Weren't you, Lucy dear?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>caught listening, turns abruptly to the others</i>]</p> + +<p>These New Women are utterly shameless.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p> + +<p>These old-fashioned women are utterly shameless. +After a decent interval, they will all with +one accord make excuses to leave us here alone, +so that I can—[<i>she comes nearer</i>] ensnare you! +[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> laughs nervously.</i>] Lucy is going to say—[<i>imitates +<span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> sweet tones</i>]: "If you'll excuse +me, I always take forty winks before dressing." +Dressing is the hardest work Lucy has to +do. Cousin Theodore will find that he <i>must</i> +write to his wife, and Uncle Everett will feel a +yearning for the billiard room. [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> is nodding +and chuckling.</i>] They're hanging on longer +than usual to-day, and I simply must have a +talk with you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Our shop-talk would scandalize 'em!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 86]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Wait, I'll get rid of them!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She sits and begins to make tea.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I've had my tea, thanks.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Stupid! Sit down. [<i>Indicates a chair close to +hers. He takes it cautiously.</i>] We'll have a little +fun with them in a minute.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She is busy now making tea.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> and the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> apart</i>]</p> + +<p>You may be right, Uncle Everett, but upon +my word it is the strangest courtship I ever +witnessed.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>They ought to be spanked.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Don't worry, old Mother Nature will attend +to that.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Well, I may be old-fashioned, but—<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 87]</span>—</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>interrupting</i>]</p> + +<p>But this is merely a new fashion, my dear +Lucy. Nature her ancient custom holds, let +science say what it will.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>handing cup to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> with a glance at the +others</i>]</p> + +<p>Now, then, be attentive to me. [<i>He leans toward +her rather shyly, abashed by her nearness. +She makes eyes at him reproachfully.</i>] Oh, can't +you be more attentive than that? [<i>She acts like +a coquette and he looks into her beautiful eyes and +while he is doing so she says with a fascinating +drawl</i>] Now tell me a-all about anterior poliomyelitis!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>suddenly taken aback, he laughs</i>]</p> + +<p>Nothing doing since you left.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>And bends close to explain.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>If you'll excuse me, Doctor Hamilton, I<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 88]</span> +always take forty winks before dressing. We +dine at eight.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Going, she signals to the others. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> and +<span class="smcap">Helen</span> exchange smiles.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing, to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Ss't! Don't tell John what's going on! Keep +him busy telephoning. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> nods excitedly and +almost runs to obey the Church.</i>] Helen, if you +and Ernest will excuse me, I really must write +to Mary.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Their shoulders are close together and they +seem too absorbed to reply. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> +smiles down upon them and signals the +<span class="smcap">Judge</span> to come along. The <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, however, +shakes his head but waves <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> +into the house. Uncle Everett looks at +the lovers with quizzical interest. He draws +near and eavesdrops shamelessly.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>You oughtn't to have dropped the polio experiments.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You oughtn't to have dropped me—right +in the <i>midst</i> of the experiments. Those agar<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 89]</span> +plates you were incubating dried up and spoiled. +You played the very devil with my data.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>God bless my soul! what are we coming to?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>without turning</i>]</p> + +<p>It's perfectly proper for your little ears, +uncle, only you can't understand a word of it. +Won't <i>any</i> one play billiards with you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>But I'm fascinated. It's so idyllic. Makes me +feel young again.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, you have plenty of men assistants who +can estimate antitoxin units.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Men assistants lose interest. They are all so +confoundedly ambitious to do original work. +Why is it women can stand day after day of monotonous +detail better than men?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 90]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Because men always made them tend the +home!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Ah, nothing like a good old-fashioned love +scene—in the scientific spirit.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Uncle, dear! <i>Can't</i> you see that he is paying +me wonderful compliments? Haven't you any +tact? Go and play Canfield in the library.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>lighting cigar</i>]</p> + +<p>Very well, I'll leave you to your own devices—and +may God, <i>your</i> God, have mercy on your +scientific souls.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with sudden animation and camaraderie, thinking +they are alone</i>]</p> + +<p>Now I must tell you what Doctor Metchnikoff +said about you and your future!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Sst! [<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> turn.</i>] My children<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 91]</span>—[<i>Pause—raises +his hand.</i>] Don't forget the +scientific spirit!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Judge</span> saunters off into the garden, +smoking.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>How did you ever meet Metchnikoff?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>chaffing</i>]</p> + +<p>I had worked under Hamilton! They <i>all</i> +wanted to meet me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with an unmistakable look</i>]</p> + +<p>U'm ... was that why? [<i>Fleeing danger.</i>] +Didn't you let them know your part in that +discovery? Why, if it hadn't been for you, I +should never have stumbled upon the thing +at all.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, I know my place too well for that! Talk +about <i>artistic</i> temperament, you scientists are +worse than prima donnas.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>takes printers' proofs out of pocket, hands them +to her in silence</i>]</p> + +<p>Some proofs of a monograph I was correcting<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 92]</span> +on the train. Mind hammering those loose sentences +of mine into decent English? You can +write—I can't.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>reading innocently</i>]</p> + +<p>"Recent Experiments in Anterior Poliomyelitis +by Ernest Hamilton, M.D., Ph.D., and +Helen"—what! why, you've put <i>my</i> name with +yours!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Much excited and delighted.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Well, if you object—like a prima donna——</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Takes out pencil to mark on proof.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>snatching proofs away</i>]</p> + +<p>Object? Why, this makes my reputation in +the scientific world.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Well, didn't you make mine?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>still glowing with pride, but touched by his unexpected +generosity</i>]</p> + +<p>You can't imagine what this means to me. +It's so hard for a woman to get any recognition.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 93]</span> +Most men have but one use for us. If we get +interested in anything but <i>them</i> it is "unwomanly"—they +call it "a fad." But they've +<i>got</i> to take me seriously now. My name with +Ernest Hamilton's!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Points to her name and swaggers back and +forth.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>bantering</i>]</p> + +<p>But then, you see, you are a very exceptional +woman. Why, you have a mind like a man.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Like a man? [<i>Coming close to him, tempting +him.</i>] If you had a mind like a woman you +would know better than to say that to me!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Re-enter <span class="smcap">Judge</span> from garden. He smiles and +glances at them. The lovers keep quiet as +he crosses to the door. Then they look at +each other and smile. <span class="smcap">Judge</span> has gone into +the house. It is nearly dark. The moon is +rising.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>raises eyebrows</i>]</p> + +<p>They all take for granted that I want to +make love to you.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Smiles but avoids her eyes.</i><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 94]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>avoids his</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, you took for granted that I wanted +you to!... You are about the most conceited +man I ever knew.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>How can I help it when you admire me so?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I? Admire you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You're always telling me what great things +I'm going to do—stimulating me, pushing me +along. Why, after you left, everything went +slump. Tell me, why did you leave? Was I rude +to you? Did I hurt your feelings?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Not in the least. It was entirely out of respect +for <i>your</i> feelings.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p><i>My</i> feelings? [<i>Laughing.</i>] Oh, I see. You got it +into your head that <i>I</i> wanted to marry <i>you</i>!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 95]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Men sometimes do.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>looks away</i>]</p> + +<p>I suppose they do.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>It's been known to happen.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Talk about conceit! Well, you needn't be +afraid! I'll never ask you to marry <i>me</i>.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>turns and looks at him a moment</i>]</p> + +<p>You can't imagine what a weight this takes +off my mind.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>She looks away and sighs.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>enthusiastically</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes! I feel as if a veil between us had been +lifted.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He looks away and sighs too. Some one begins +"Tristan and Isolde" on the piano +within. The moon is up.</i></p></div><p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 96]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after a pause</i>]</p> + +<p>Suppose we talk about—our work.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Yes! Our work. Let's drop the other subject. +Look at the moon!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Music and the moonlight flooding them.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Seriously, you promise never to <i>mention</i> the +subject again?</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>She keeps her eyes averted.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I promise.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>He keeps his eyes averted.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>turning to him with a sudden change to girlish +enthusiasm</i>]</p> + +<p>Then I'll go to Paris with you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>recoils</i>]</p> + +<p>What's that?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Why, Doctor Metchnikoff—he promised me +he would invite you.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 97]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Yes, but—</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Don't miss the chance of a lifetime!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>No, but you—<i>you</i> can't come!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>simply</i>]</p> + +<p>If you need me I can, and you just said——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>But you mustn't come to Paris with me!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Don't you want me with you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You are to stay at home and run the department +for me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stepping back</i>]</p> + +<p>Don't you want me with you?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 98]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stepping forward, with his heart in voice</i>]</p> + +<p>Do I <i>want</i> you! [<i>Stops.</i>] But I am a man—you +are a woman.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>What of it? Are you one of those small men +who care what people say? No! That's not your +reason! [<i>She sees that it is not.</i>] What is it? You +must tell me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>hesitates</i>]</p> + +<p>It's only for your sake.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with feeling</i>]</p> + +<p>Think of all I've done for <i>your</i> sake. You +wouldn't be going yourself but for me! I was +the one to see you needed it, I proposed it to +Metchnikoff—I urged him—<i>made</i> him ask +you—for <i>your sake</i>! And now am I to be left +at home like a child because you don't care +to be embarrassed with me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Oh, please! This is so unfair. But I simply +can't take you now.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 99]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with growing scorn</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh! You are all alike. You pile work upon me +until I nearly drop, you play upon my interest, +my sympathy—you get all you can out of +me—my youth, my strength, my best! And +then, just as I, too, have a chance to arrive in +my profession, you, of all men, throw me over! +I hate men. I hate you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>And I love you!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They stare at each other in silence, the moonlight +flooding <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> face, the music +coming clear.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>in an awed whisper, stepping back slowly</i>]</p> + +<p>I've done it! I've done it! I <i>knew</i> I'd do it!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>No. I did it. Forgive me. I had to do it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, and this spoils everything!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 100]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>comes closer</i>]</p> + +<p>No! It glorifies everything! [<i>He breaks loose.</i>] +I have loved you from the first day you came +and looked up at me for orders. I didn't want +you there; I didn't want any woman there. +I tried to tire you out with overwork but +couldn't. I tried to drive you out by rudeness, +but you stayed. And that made me love you +more. Oh, I love you! I love you! I love you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Don't; oh, don't love me!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>still closer</i>]</p> + +<p>Why, I never knew there could be women +like you. I thought women were merely something +to be wanted and worshipped, petted +and patronized. But now—why, I love everything +about you: your wonderful, brave eyes +that face the naked facts of life and are not +ashamed; those beautiful hands that toiled so +long, so well, so close to mine and not afraid, +not afraid!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>You mustn't! I <i>am</i> afraid now! I made you<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 101]</span> +say it. [<i>Smiling and crying.</i>] I have always +wanted to make you say it. I have always sworn +you shouldn't.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>pained</i>]</p> + +<p>Because you cannot care enough?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Enough?... Too much.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>overwhelmed</i>]</p> + +<p>You—love—me!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He takes her in his arms, a silent embrace +with only the bland blasé moon looking on.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>It is because I love you that I didn't want +you to say it—only I did. It is because I love +you that I went abroad—to stay, only I +couldn't! I couldn't stay away! [<i>She holds his +face in her hands.</i>] Oh, do you know how I +love you? No!... you're only a <i>man</i>!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>kissing her rapturously</i>]</p> + +<p>Every day there in the laboratory, when you<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 102]</span> +in your apron—that dear apron which I stole +from your locker when you left me—when you +asked for orders—did you know that I wanted +to say: "Love me"! Every day when you took +up your work, did you never guess that I +wanted to take you up in my arms?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiling up into his face</i>]</p> + +<p>Why didn't you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Thank God I didn't! For while we worked +there together I came to know you as few men +ever know the women they desire. Woman can +be more than sex, as man is more than sex. +And all this makes man and woman not less +but more <i>overwhelmingly</i> desirable and necessary +to each other, and makes both things last—not +for a few years, but forever!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sound of voices approaching from the garden. +The lovers separate. It is <span class="smcap">Jean</span> and +<span class="smcap">Rex</span>, <span class="smcap">Rex</span> laughing, <span class="smcap">Jean</span> dodging until +caught and kissed.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>No, no—it's time to dress.... Be good, +Rex—don't!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 103]</span></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Without seeing <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, they +disappear into the house. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> is suddenly +changed, as if awakened from a spell +of enchantment.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>What have we done! This is all moonlight +and madness. To-morrow comes the clear light +of day.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Ah, but we'll love each other to-morrow!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But we cannot marry—then or any other +to-morrow.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Can't? What nonsense!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shaking her head and restraining him</i>]</p> + +<p>I have slaved for you all these months—not +because I wanted to win you from your work +but to help you in it. And now—after all—shall +I destroy you? No! No!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 104]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I <i>love</i> you—you love <i>me</i>—nothing else +matters.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Everything else matters. I'm not a little +débutante to be persuaded that I am needed +because I am wanted! I haven't <i>played</i> with +you; I have <i>worked</i> with you, and I <i>know</i>! +Think of Theodore! Think of Lucy! And now +poor little Jean. Marry you? Never!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You mean your career?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with supreme scorn</i>]</p> + +<p><i>My</i> career? No! yours—always yours!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with the same scorn and a snap of the fingers</i>]</p> + +<p>Then <i>that</i> for my career. I'll go back into private +practice and make a million.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>That's just what I said you'd do. Just what +you must not do! Your work is needed by the +world.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 105]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>wooing</i>]</p> + +<p>You are my world and I need you.... But +there is no love without marriage, no marriage +without money.... We can take it or leave +it. Can we leave it? No! I can't—you can't! +Come! [<i>She steps back slowly.</i>] Why should we +sacrifice the best! Come!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>So <i>this</i> is what marriage means! Then I +<i>cannot</i> marry you, Ernest!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You cannot do without me, Helen! [<i>Holds +out his arms.</i>] Come! You have been in my arms +once. You and I can never forget that now. We +can never go back now. It's all—or nothing +now. Come! [<i>She is struggling against her passion. +He stands still, with arms held out.</i>] I shall +not woo you against your will, but you are coming +to me! Because, by all the powers of earth +and heaven, you are mine and I am yours! +Come!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Like a homing pigeon she darts into his arms +with a gasp of joy. A rapturous embrace in<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 106]</span> +silence with the moonlight streaming down +upon them. The music has stopped.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span>, dressed for dinner, strolls out upon +the terrace. He stops abruptly upon discovering +them. The lovers are too absorbed +to be aware of his presence.</i></p></div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 107]</span></p> +<h1><span class="smcap">Act II</span></h1> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 108]</span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 109]</span></p> +<h2><span class="smcap">Act II</span></h2> + +<div class="pblockquot"><p><i>It is the next morning, Sunday.</i></p> + +<p><i>It appears that at <span class="smcap">John's</span> country place they have +breakfast at small tables out upon the broad, +shaded terrace overlooking the glorious view +of his little farm.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> and <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>, the scientist and the +clergyman, are breakfasting together. The others +are either breakfasting in their rooms or +are not yet down, it being Sunday.</i></p> + +<p><i>The man of God is enjoying his material blessings +heartily. Also he seems to be enjoying +his view of the man of science, who eats little +and says less.</i></p></div> + + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with coffee-cup poised</i>]</p> + +<p>What's the matter with your appetite +this morning, Ernest? [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, +gazing up at one of the second-story +windows, does not hear. The door opens. He starts. +Then, seeing it's only a servant with food, he<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 110]</span> +sighs.</i>] Expecting something? The codfish balls? +Well, here they are. [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> refuses the proffered +codfish balls, scowls, brings out cigar case, +lights cigar, looks at watch, and fidgets.</i>] Oh, I +know—you're crazy to go with me—to +church! [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> doesn't hear. Creates a cloud of +smoke.</i>] Their regular rector is ill. So I agreed to +take the service this morning.... Always the +way when off for a rest ... isn't it? [<i>No +answer. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> gets up, walks around the +table, and shouts in <span class="smcap">Ernest's</span> face.</i>] Isn't it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>startled</i>]</p> + +<p>I beg your pardon?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughs, <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> wondering what's the joke</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, you're hopeless! [<i>Going.</i>] I can't stand +people who talk so much at breakfast.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>suddenly wakes up</i>]</p> + +<p>Wait a minute. Sit down. Have a cigar. Let's +talk about God. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> stops smiling.</i>] But +I mean it. I'd like to have a religion myself.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 111]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>I had an idea you took no stock in religion.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Takes the cigar. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> holds a match for +him.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>enthusiastically</i>]</p> + +<p>Just what I thought, until ... well, I've +made a discovery, a great discovery!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>A scientific discovery?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a wave of the hand</i>]</p> + +<p>It makes all science look like a ... mere +machine.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Well, if you feel so strongly about it ... +better come to church after all!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I'm not talking about the Church—I'm talking +about <i>religion</i>.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 112]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>You're not talking about religion; you're talking +about—love.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p> + +<p>Certainly; the same thing, isn't it? I'm talking +about the divine fire that glorifies life and +perpetuates it—the one eternal thing we mortals +share with God.... If <i>that</i> isn't religious, +what is? [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> smiles indulgently.</i>] Tell +me, Theodore—you know I wasn't allowed to +go to church when young, and since then I've +always worked on the holy Sabbath day, like +yourself—does the Church still let innocent human +beings think there's something inherently +wrong about sex? [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> drops his eyes. +<span class="smcap">Ernest</span> disgusted with him.</i>] I see! Good people +should drop their eyes even at the mention of +the word.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Sex is a necessary evil, I admit, but——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughs</i>]</p> + +<p>Evil! The God-given impulse which accounts +for you sitting there, for me sitting here? The<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 113]</span> +splendid instinct which writes our poetry, +builds our civilizations, founds our churches—the +very heart and soul of life is evil. Really, +Theodore, I don't know much about religion, +but that strikes me as blasphemy against the +Creator.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Very scientific, my boy, very modern; but +the Church believed in marriage before Science +was born.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>As a compromise with evil?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>As a sacrament of religion—and so do you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Good! Then why practise and preach marriage +as a sacrament of property? "Who giveth this +woman to be married to this man—" Women +are still goods and chattels to be given or sold, +are they?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Oh, nonsense!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 114]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Then why keep on making them promise to +"serve and obey"? Why marry them with a +ring—the link of the ancient chain? [<i>He smiles.</i>] +In the days of physical force it was made of +iron—now of gold. But it's still a chain, isn't +it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Symbols, my dear fellow, not to be taken in a +literal sense—time-honored and beautiful symbols.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>But why insult a woman you respect—even +symbolically?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a laugh</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, you scientists!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>joining in the laugh</i>]</p> + +<p>We try to find the truth—and you try to +hide it, eh? Well, there's one thing we have in +common, anyway—one faith I'll never doubt +again; I believe in Heaven now. I always shall.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 115]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Do you mind telling me why, my boy?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Not in the least. I've been there. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> comes +out to breakfast. He is scowling.</i>] Good morning; +could you spare me five minutes?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>ringing bell</i>]</p> + +<p>Haven't had breakfast yet.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>After breakfast?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I've an appointment with young Baker.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiles</i>]</p> + +<p>I'll wait my turn.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Going to be pretty busy to-day—you, too, I +suppose, if you're sailing to-morrow.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 116]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I can postpone sailing. This is more important.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I should hate to see <i>anything</i> interfere with +your career.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> also arrives for breakfast. She "always +pours her husband's coffee."</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I appreciate your interest, but I'll look out +for my "career." [<i>To <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] Could you tell me +when your sister will be down?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>overriding <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>My sister is ill and won't be down at all ... +until <i>after</i> you <i>leave</i>.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> pretends not to hear. Theodore walks +away.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>aroused, but calm</i>]</p> + +<p>I don't believe you quite understand. It is a +matter of indifference to me whether we have +a talk or not. Entirely out of courtesy to you +that I suggest it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 117]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Don't inconvenience yourself on my account.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shrugs shoulders and turns to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Wait, I think I'll sit in church till train time.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smoothing it over</i>]</p> + +<p>Come along. I'm going to preach about +marriage!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> starts off.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>going, turns to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Thanks for your kindness. Will you ask the +valet to pack my things, please? I'll call for +them on the way to the station. [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Do +you understand? I have no favors to ask of +you. You don't own your sister—she owns +herself.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>The scientist goes to church.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a loud laugh, turns to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Rather impertinent for a two-thousand-dollar +man, I think. [<i>Resumes breakfast, picks up +newspaper. <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> says nothing, attending to his<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 118]</span> +wants solicitously.</i>] Bah! what does this highbrow +know about the power men of my sort +can use ... when we have to? [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> cringes +dutifully in silence. <span class="smcap">John</span>, paper in one hand, +brusquely passes cup to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> with other.</i>] Helen +got her own way about college, about work, +about living in her own apartment—but if she +thinks she can put <i>this</i> across! Humph! These +modern women must learn their place. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, +smiling timidly, returns cup. <span class="smcap">John</span> takes it without +thanks, busied in newspapers. A look of resentment +creeps over <span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> pretty face, now that +he can't see her.</i>] Ah! I've got something up +my sleeve for that young woman. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> says +nothing, looks of contempt while he reads.</i>] Well, +why don't you say something?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>startled</i>]</p> + +<p>I thought you didn't like me to talk at +breakfast, dear.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Think I like you to sit there like a mummy? +[<i>No reply.</i>] Haven't you <i>any</i>thing to say? [<i>Apparently +not.</i>] You never have any more, nothing +interesting.... Does it ever occur to you +that I'd like to be diverted?... No!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 119]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Yes.... Would you mind very much if ... +if I left you, John?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Left me? When—where—how long?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>gathering courage</i>]</p> + +<p>Now—any place—entirely.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>bursts out laughing</i>]</p> + +<p>What suddenly put <i>this</i> notion in your head?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>I'm sorry—John, but I've had it—oh, for +years. I never dared ask you till now.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>still glancing over paper</i>]</p> + +<p>Like to leave me, would you?... You have +no grounds for divorce, my dear.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But <i>you</i> will have—after I leave you.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 120]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>yawns</i>]</p> + +<p>You have no lover to leave with.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>daintily</i>]</p> + +<p>But couldn't I just desert you—without +anything horrid?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>reads</i>]</p> + +<p>No money to desert with.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>springs up</i>—<i>at bay</i>]</p> + +<p>You won't let me escape decently when I +tell you I don't want to stay? When I tell you +I can't stand being under your roof any longer? +When I tell you I'm sick of this life?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>gets up calmly</i>]</p> + +<p>But, you see, I can stand it. I want you to +stay. I'm not sick of it. You belong to me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shrinking away as he approaches</i>]</p> + +<p>Don't touch me! Every time you come near +me I have to nerve myself to stand it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 121]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>What's got into you? Don't I give you everything +money can buy? My God, if I only gave +you something to worry about; if I ran after +other women like old man Baker——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>If you only would!—Then you'd let <i>me</i> +alone. To me you are repulsive.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>taking hold of her</i>]</p> + +<p>Lucy! You are my wife.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>looking him straight in the eye</i>]</p> + +<p>But you don't respect me, and I—I hate +you—oh, how I hate you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>holds her fast</i>]</p> + +<p>I am your husband, your lawful husband.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stops struggling</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, this is lawful—but, oh, what laws you +men have made for women!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Judge</span> comes out, carrying a telegram.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 122]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Rather early in the day for conjugal embraces, +if you should ask me. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> separate.</i>] +Makes me quite sentimental and homesick.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> raises telegram and kisses it.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>calming herself</i>]</p> + +<p>From Aunt Julia again? Do you get telegrams +every day from Reno?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>No, but she caught cold. Went to the theatre +last night and caught a cold. So she wired me—naturally; +got the habit of telling me her +troubles, can't break it, even in Reno.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I thought she hated the theatre!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>So she does, but I'm fond of it; she went for +my sake. She's got the habit of sacrificing herself +for me. Just as hard to break good habits +as bad.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>True women enjoy sacrificing themselves.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 123]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Yes, that's what we tell them. Well, we +ought to know. We make 'em do it. [<i>Brings out +a fountain pen and sits abruptly.</i>] That's what +I'll tell her. I can hear her laugh. You know +her laugh.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>rings for a servant</i>]</p> + +<p>A telegraph blank?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a humorous expression he brings a whole +pad of telegraph blanks out of another +pocket</i>]</p> + +<p>Carry them with me nowadays. [<i>Begins to +write.</i>] Wish I hadn't sold my Western Union, +John.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I don't believe you want that divorce very +much.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>It doesn't matter what <i>I</i> want—what she +wants is the point. You must give the woman +you marry tutti-frutti, divorces—everything.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 124]</span>... +Why, I've got the habit myself, and God +knows I don't enjoy sacrifice—I'm a man! +The superior sex!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I don't believe you appreciate that wife of +yours.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>between the words he's writing</i>]</p> + +<p>Don't I? It isn't every wife that'd travel +away out to Reno—you know how she hates +travelling—and go to a theatre—and catch +a cold—and get a divorce—all for the sake +of an uncongenial husband. [<i>Suddenly getting +an idea, strikes table.</i>] I know what gave her a +cold. She raised all the windows in her bedroom—for +<i>my</i> sake!—I always kept them +down for <i>her</i> sake. I'll have to scold her. [<i>Bends +to his writing again.</i>] Poor little thing! She +doesn't know how to take care of herself without +me. I doubt if she ever will.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Looks over telegram. A <span class="smcap">Servant</span> comes, +takes telegram, and goes.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Uncle Everett, I want your advice.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 125]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>John! do <i>you</i> want a divorce?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>No, we are not that sort, are we, Lucy? [<i>No +answer.</i>] Are we, dear?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after a pause</i>]</p> + +<p>No, we are not that sort!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>We believe in the sanctity of the home, the +holiness of marriage.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Yes, we believe in—"the holiness of marriage!"</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Turns away, covering her face with her hands +and shuddering.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Lucy, tell Helen and Jean to come here. +[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> goes.</i>] Well, young Baker spoke to me +about Jean last night. I told him I'd think it +over and give him my decision this morning.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 126]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>That's right. Mustn't seem too anxious, John. +When the properly qualified male offers one of +our dependent females a chance at woman's +only true career, of course it's up to us to look +disappointed.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But I didn't bring up the little matter you +spoke of.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>About that chorus girl?... Afraid of scaring +him off?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Not at all, but—well, it's all over and it's +all fixed. No scandal, no blackmail.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Hum! By the way, got anything on Hamilton?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>I don't believe in saints myself.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 127]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>I see.... Good thing, for Jean Rex isn't a +saint. I suppose you'd break off the match.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span>, in riding clothes, comes out. <span class="smcap">John</span> salutes +him warmly. The <span class="smcap">Judge</span> is reading +the paper.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>not eagerly</i>]</p> + +<p>Well?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Well, of course, you realize that you're asking +a great deal of me, Rex, but—[<i>Offers hand to +<span class="smcap">Rex</span> warmly.</i>] Be good to her, my boy, be good +to her.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shaking hands, forced warmth</i>]</p> + +<p>Thanks awfully. See-what-I-mean? [<i>To +<span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] Congratulate me, Judge; I'm the happiest +of men.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>looking up from newspaper</i>]</p> + +<p>So I see. Don't let it worry you.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span>, in riding costume, comes from the +house.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 128]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>signalling <span class="smcap">Judge</span> to leave</i>]</p> + +<p>If Helen asks for me, I'm in the garden.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>If any telegrams come for me, I'm writing to +<i>my wife</i>!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> and <span class="smcap">Rex</span> alone, they look at each other, +not very loverlike.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>impulsively</i>]</p> + +<p>You weren't in love with me yesterday. You +aren't now. You would get out of it if you honorably +could. But you honorably <i>can't</i>! So you +have spoken to John; you are going to see it +through, because you're a good sport.... I +admire you for that, Rex, too much to hold +you to it. You are released.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>amazed</i>]</p> + +<p>Why—why—you—you don't suppose I +want to be released?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Well, I do!... Yesterday I let you pro<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 129]</span>pose +to me when I cared for some one else. +That's not fair to you, to me, to him!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>in a sudden fury</i>]</p> + +<p>Who is he? What do you mean by this? Why +didn't you tell me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I am telling you now. What have you ever +told me about yourself?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>blinking</i>]</p> + +<p>You had no right to play fast and loose with +me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I'm making the only amends I can. You are +free, I tell you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>I don't want to be free! He can't have you! +You are mine! If you think you can make me +stop loving you——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>interrupting</i>]</p> + +<p>Love, Rex? Only jealousy. You've never been<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 130]</span> +in love with me—you've always been in love +with Helen. But you couldn't get her, so you +took me. Isn't that true, Rex?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after an uncomfortable pause</i>]</p> + +<p>I'll be honest with you, too. Yesterday I +wasn't really very serious. I felt like a brute +afterward. You tried your best to prevent +what happened and ran away from me. But +now——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Don't you know why I ran away? To make +you follow. I made you catch me. I made you +kiss me. Then you realized that we had been +thrown together constantly—deliberately +thrown together, if you care to know it—and, +well, that's how many marriages are made. +But I shan't marry on such terms. It's indecent!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>another pause</i>]</p> + +<p>I never thought a <i>woman</i> could be capable +of such honesty!... Oh, what a bully sport +you are! You aren't like the rest that have been +shoved at me. Why, I can respect you. You are +the one for me.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>He tries to take her.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 131]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>restraining him with dignity</i>]</p> + +<p>I am sorry, Rex, but I am not for you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Jean! without you ... don't you see—I'll +go straight to the devil!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>That old, cowardly dodge? Any man who has +no more backbone than that—why, I wouldn't +marry you if you were the last man in the world.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>frantic to possess what he cannot have</i>]</p> + +<p>You won't, eh? We'll see about that. I want +you now as I never wanted anything in my life, +and I'll win you from him yet. You'll see!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> now appears.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, I beg your pardon. Lucy said John was +out here.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I'll call him.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>She runs down into the garden.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 132]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>I'll call him.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He runs after <span class="smcap">Jean. Helen</span> helplessly +watches them go, sighs, standing by the garden +steps until <span class="smcap">John</span> ascends. He looks at +<span class="smcap">Helen</span> a moment, wondering how to begin. +She looks so capable and unafraid of him.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>If you hadn't gone to college, you could have +done what Jean is doing.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a shrug and a smile</i>]</p> + +<p>But how proud you must be, John, to have +a sister who isn't compelled to marry one man +while in love with another. <i>Now</i>, aren't you +glad I went to college?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She laughs good-naturedly at him.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Humph! If you think I'd let a sister of mine +marry one of old man Baker's two-thousand-dollar +employees——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Why, John, didn't Ernest tell you? Doctor<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 133]</span> +Hawksbee has offered him a partnership. Just +think of that!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>What! Going back into private practice?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But it's such a fashionable practice. Hawksbee's +made a million at it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But the institute needs Hamilton.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ah, but we need the money!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>disconcerted</i>]</p> + +<p>So you are going to spoil a noble career, are +you? That's selfish. I didn't think it of you. +There are thousands of successful physicians, +but there is only one Ernest Hamilton.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughs</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, don't worry, John, he has promised me +to keep his two-thousand-dollar job.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 134]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Ah, I'm glad. You must let nothing interfere +with his great humanitarian work. Think what +it means to the lives of little children! Think +what it means to the future of the race! Why, +every one says his greatest usefulness has hardly +begun!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, I know all that, I've thought of all that.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Now, such men should be kept free from cares +and anxiety. What was it you said yesterday? +"He needs every cent of his salary for books, +travel, all the advantages he simply must have +for efficiency." To marry a poor man—most +selfish thing a girl could do!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Yes, John, that's what I said yesterday.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>scoring</i>]</p> + +<p>But that was before he asked you! [<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> +smiles. He sneers.</i>] Rather pleased with yourself +now, aren't you? "Just a woman after all"<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 135]</span>—heroine +of cheap magazine story! Sacrifices +career for love!... All very pretty and romantic, +my dear—but how about the man you +love! Want to sacrifice his career, too?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But I'm not going to sacrifice what you are +pleased to call my career.... Therefore he +won't have to sacrifice his.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>What! going to keep on working? Will he +let the woman he loves work!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>demure</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, you see, he says I'm "too good" to loaf.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Humph! who'll take care of your home when +you're at work? Who'll take care of your work +when you're at home. Look at it practically. +To maintain such a home as he needs on such a +salary as he has—why, it would take all your +time, all your energy. To keep him in his class +you'll have to drop out of your own, become +a household drudge, a servant.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 136]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>And if I am willing?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Then where's your intellectual companionship? +How'll you help his work? Expense for +him, disillusionment for both. If you're the +woman you pretend to be, you won't marry +that man!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>strong</i>]</p> + +<p>The world needs his work, but he needs mine, +and we both need each other.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stronger</i>]</p> + +<p>And marriage would only handicap his work, +ruin yours, and put you apart. You know that's +true. You've seen it happen with others. You +have told me so yourself!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Then that settles it! We must not, cannot, +shall not marry. We have no right to marry. I +agree with all you say—it would not join us +together; it would put us asunder.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 137]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>And you'll give him up? Good! Good!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Give him up? Never! The right to work, the +right to love—those rights are inalienable. +No, we'll give up marriage but not each other.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But—but—I don't understand.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>straight in his eyes</i>]</p> + +<p>We need each other—in our work and in +our life—and we're to have each other—until +life is ended and our work is done. Now, do +you understand?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p> + +<p>Are you in your right mind? Think what +you're saying.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I have thought all night, John. You have +shown me how to say it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 138]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But, but—why, this is utterly unbelievable! +Why I'm not even shocked. Do you notice? +I'm not even shocked? Because everything you +have said, everything you have done—it all +proves that you are a good woman.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>If I were a bad woman, I'd inveigle him into +marriage, John.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Inveigle! Marriage! Are you crazy? ... Oh, +this is all one of your highbrow jokes!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>John, weren't you serious when you said +marriage would destroy him?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But this would destroy <i>you</i>!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Well, even if that were so, which is more important +to the world? Which is more important +to your "great humanitarian work"?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 139]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Ah, very clever! A bluff to gain my consent +to marrying him—a trick to get his salary +raised.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with force</i>]</p> + +<p>John, nothing you can do, nothing you can +say, will ever gain my consent to marrying him. +I've not told you half my reasons.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>My God! my own sister! And did you, for +one moment, dream that I would consent to +that!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Not for one moment. I'm not asking your consent. +I'm just telling you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after scrutinizing her</i>]</p> + +<p>Ridiculous! If you really meant to run away +with this fellow, would you come and tell <i>me</i>, +your own brother?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Do you suppose I'd <i>run</i> away without telling, +even my own brother?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 140]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>looks at her a moment; she returns his gaze</i>]</p> + +<p>Bah!—all pose and poppycock! [<i>He abruptly +touches bell.</i>] I'll soon put a stop to this nonsense. +[<i>Muttering.</i>] Damnedest thing I ever heard of.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>John, I understand exactly what I'm doing. +You never will. But nothing you can do can +stop me now.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>We'll see about that. [<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> appears.</i>] +Ask the others to step out here at once; all +except Miss Jean and Mr. Baker, I don't want +them. Is Doctor Hamilton about?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p> + +<p>No, sir, he went to church.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>All right. [<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> disappears.</i>] To church! +My God!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> pays no attention. She gazes straight +out into the future, head high, eyes clear +and wide open.</i></p></div> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 141]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>First of all, when the others come out, I'm +going to ask them to look you in the face. Then +you can make this statement to them, if you +wish, and—look them in the face.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with quiet scorn</i>]</p> + +<p>If I were being forced into such a marriage +as poor little Jean's, I would kill myself. But +in the eyes of God, who made love, no matter +how I may appear in the eyes of man, +who made marriage, I know that I am doing +right.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> comes out, followed by the <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>not seeing them. He is loud</i>]</p> + +<p>Say that to Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore! +Say that to my wife, stand up and say +that to the world, if you dare.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p> + +<p>She has told him!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 142]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>wheeling about</i>]</p> + +<p>What! did she tell you? Why didn't you +come to me at once?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>tremulous</i>]</p> + +<p>She said she wanted to tell you herself. I +didn't think she'd dare!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>They all turn to look at <span class="smcap">Helen. Theodore</span> +comes back from church alone.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>It had to be announced, of course.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>advancing, beaming</i>]</p> + +<p>Announced? What is announced?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>All turn to him in a panic.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>hurriedly</i>]</p> + +<p>Their engagement, Theodore!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>overriding <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, John has given his consent at last—example +to society.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Prods <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 143]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>also overrides <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Of course! One of the finest fellows in the +world.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>delighted</i>]</p> + +<p>And withal he has a deep religious nature. +Congratulations. My dear, he'll make an ideal +husband.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Takes both <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> hands, about to kiss +her.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>can't help smiling</i>]</p> + +<p>Thank you, cousin, but I don't want a +husband.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>A sudden silence.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>looks from one to the other</i>]</p> + +<p>A lover's quarrel?—already!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>enjoying it</i>]</p> + +<p>No, Theodore, these lovers are in perfect accord. +They both have conscientious scruples +against marriage.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 144]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Conscientious!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>So they are simply going to set up housekeeping +without the mere formality of a wedding +ceremony.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> drops <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> hands.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p> + +<p>We are going to do nothing of the sort.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Uncle Everett!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Takes her hands again.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>We are not going to set up housekeeping at +all. He will keep his present quarters and I mine.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But they are going to belong to each other.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>drops <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> hands—aghast</i>]</p> + +<p>I don't believe it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 145]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p> + +<p>The strike against marriage. It was bound to +come.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p> + +<p>But Church and State—[<i>indicates self and +<span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>] must break this strike.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>John is a practical man. He will prove to +you that such a home as we could afford would +only be a stumbling-block to Ernest's usefulness, +a hollow sphere for mine. You can't fill it +with mere happiness, Lucy, not for long, not +for long.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>restrains <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> about to reply</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, let her get it all nicely talked out, then +she'll take a nap and wake up feeling better. +[<i>Whispering.</i>] We've driven her to this ourselves, +but she really doesn't mean a word of it. +Come, dear child, tell us all about this nightmare.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 146]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiles at the <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Why, think what would happen to an eager +intellect like Ernest Hamilton's if he had to +come back to a narrow-minded apartment or a +dreary suburb every evening and eat morbid +meals opposite a housewife regaling him with +the social ambitions of the other commuters. +Ugh! It has ruined enough brilliant men already. +[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> restrains <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and others who want +to interrupt.</i>] Now at the University Club he +dines, at slight expense compared with keeping +up a home, upon the best food in the city with +some of the best scientists in the country.... +Marriage would divorce him from all that, +would transplant him from an atmosphere of +ideas into an atmosphere of worries. We should +be forced into the same deadly ruts as the rest +of you, uncle. Do you want me to destroy a +great career, Theodore?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Do you want to be a blot upon that career?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>lightly</i>]</p> + +<p>I'd rather be a blot than a blight, and that's +what I'd be if I became his bride. Ask John.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 147]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Do you want to be disgraced, despised, ostracized!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiles at <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p> + +<p>A choice of evils, dear; of course, none of +those costly well-kept wives on your visiting +list will call upon me. But instead of one day at +home, instead of making a tired husband work +for me, I'll have all my days free to work with +him, like the old-fashioned woman you admire! +Instead of being an expense, I'll be a help to +him; instead of being separated by marriage +and divergent interests, we'll be united by love +and common peril.... Isn't that the orthodox +way to gain character, Theodore?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Oh, this is all damned nonsense! Look here, +you've either got to marry this fellow now or +else go away and never see him again; never, +never!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Just what I thought, John. I intended never +to see him again. That was why I let you send +me abroad. But I'll never, never do it again.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 148]</span> +[<i>Smiling like an engaged girl.</i>] It was perfectly +dreadful! Ernest couldn't get along without me +at all, poor old thing. And I, why, I nearly died.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Then you'll have to be married, that's all.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">The Others</span></p> + +<p>Why, of course you'll have to, that's all.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>nodding</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, I know just how you feel about it. I +thought so, too, at first, but I can't marry +Ernest Hamilton. I love him.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But if you love him truly—marriage, my +dear, brings together those who love each other +truly.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But those who love each other truly don't +need anything to bring them together. The +difficulty is to keep apart.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>A reminiscent shudder.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 149]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>That's all romantic rot! Every one feels that +way at first.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>At first! Then the practical object of marriage +is not to bring together those who love each +other, but to keep together those who do not? +[<i>To <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] What a dreadful thing marriage +must be!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> chokes down a chuckle.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Ah, so you wish to be free to separate. Now +we have it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>To separate? What an idea! On the contrary, +we wish to be free to keep together! In the old +days when they had interests in common marriage +used to make man and woman one, but +now it puts them apart. Can't you see it all +about you? He goes down-town and works; she +stays up-town and plays. He belongs to the +laboring class; she belongs to the leisure class. +At best, they seldom work at the same or similar +trades. Legally it may be a union, but +socially it's a mésalliance—in the eyes of God +it's often worse.... No wonder that one in<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 150]</span> +eleven ends in divorce. The only way to avoid +spiritual separation is to shun legal union like a +contagious disease. Modern marriage <i>is</i> divorce. +[<i>She turns to go, defiantly.</i>] I've found my work, +I've found my mate, and so has he! What more +can any human being ask?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> appears.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton is outside in a taxicab, sir.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Show him here at once!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p> + +<p>He says he does not care to come in, sir, +unless you are ready to talk to him now.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Well, of all the nerve! You bet I'm ready!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Starts off. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> starts, too.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>intercepting them calmly</i>]</p> + +<p>Wait a minute—wait a minute. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Servant</span>.</i>] +Ask Doctor Hamilton kindly to wait in<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 151]</span> +the library. [<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> goes.</i>] Now, we're all +a bit overwrought. [<i>Soothes <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, pats her +hand, puts arm about her, gradually leads her +back.</i>] I still believe in you, Helen, I still believe +in him. [<i>To all.</i>] It's simply that he's so deeply +absorbed in his great work for mankind that he +doesn't realize what he is asking Helen to do.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p> + +<p>So I told him ... when he asked me to +marry him.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p> + +<p>What! He <i>asked</i> you to <i>marry</i> him?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Of course! <i>Implored</i> me to marry him. [<i>She +adds, smiling.</i>] So absorbed—not in mankind, +but in me—that he "didn't realize what he +was asking me to do."</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>utterly amazed</i>]</p> + +<p>And you refused him! The man who loves +you honorably?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 152]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>demurely</i>]</p> + +<p>Of course! You don't suppose I'd take advantage +of the poor fellow's weakness. Women +often do, I admit—even when not in love, +sometimes.... Not because they're depraved +but dependent.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p> + +<p>And then he proposed this wicked substitute! +Poisoned her innocent mind—the bounder!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But he did nothing of the sort.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Oh, your own idea, was it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Of course!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p> + +<p>And he is willing to take advantage of the +poor child's ignorance—the cad! [<i>To <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>.</i>] +"Deep religious nature," eh?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 153]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>I can't believe it of him.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>He knows nothing about it yet. I haven't +even seen him since I made my decision.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>All exchange bewildered glances.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p> + +<p>We've got to get him off to Paris. It's our +only hope.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>You can't stop her following. She's on the +edge of the precipice—do you want to shove +her over? You are dealing with big people here +and a big passion.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> returns.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton asks to see Miss Helen +while waiting.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>calmly to <span class="smcap">Butler</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Tell Doctor Hamilton that Miss Helen will +see him here.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> leaves.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 154]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Are you crazy! We've got to keep 'em apart—our +one chance to save her.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>No, bring them together. <i>That</i> is our one +chance. Come, we'll go down into the garden +and they'll have a nice little talk. Nothing like +talk, John, honest talk, to clear these marriage +problems.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Going.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>And let them elope? In that taxicab?—not +on your life!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Runs to and fro.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Come, John, girls never notify the family in +advance when they plan elopements. It's not +done.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>going</i>]</p> + +<p>Uncle Everett is right. Ernest will bring her +to her senses. He <i>has</i> a deep religious nature.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> leads <span class="smcap">John</span> away to the garden.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 155]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>lingering—to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>If you offer yourself on such terms to the man +who loves you honorably, he'll never look at +you again.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>leading <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> off to garden</i>]</p> + +<p>Don't worry! She won't.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> rushes out to <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ernest!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>At last! [<i>He takes her in his arms; she clings +to him and gazes into his eyes; a long embrace.</i>] +Tell me that you're all right again.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiling with love and trust</i>]</p> + +<p>Except that you deserted me, dear, just when +I needed you most. Ernest, Ernest! never leave +me again.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Deserted you? Why, your brother said you +were ill.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 156]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ah, I see ... he was mistaken.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>jubilant and boyish</i>]</p> + +<p>But never mind now, I've got you at last, and +I'll never, never let you go. You've got to sail +with me to-morrow. Together! Oh, think! Together.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Another embrace.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Are you <i>sure</i> you love me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughs from sheer joy of her nearness</i>]</p> + +<p>Am I sure? Ten million times more to-day +than yesterday.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Even so ... it is not, and can never be, +as I love you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with her hands in his, gayly</i>]</p> + +<p>Then you can apologize.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Apologize?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 157]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>For saying, years and years ago—in other +words, last night—that you didn't think you'd +marry me after all. [<i>She starts.</i>] Why, what's +the matter? You're trembling like a leaf. You +<i>are</i> ill!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>No; oh, no.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>tenderly</i>]</p> + +<p>Still a few lingering doubts? I had hoped a +good night's rest would put those little prejudices +to sleep forever.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Sleep?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She shakes her head, gazing at him soberly.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>So you could not sleep? Neither could I; I +was too happy to sleep. I was afraid I'd miss +some wondrous throbbing thought of your +loveliness. [<i>Takes her passive hand, puts a kiss +in it, and closes it reverently while she looks into +his eyes without moving.</i>] Do you know, I'm dis<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 158]</span>appointed +in love. I always thought it meant +soft sighs and pretty speeches. It means an +agony of longing, delicious agony, but, oh, terrific. +[<i>She says nothing.</i>] Dear, dear girl, it may +be easy for you, but I can't stand much more +of this.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Nor I.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You must come to Paris with me or I'll stay +home. All through the night I had waking +visions of our being parted. Just when we had +found each other at last. Some terrible impersonal +monster stepped in between us and said: +"No. Now that you have had your glimpse of +heaven—away! Ye twain shall not enter +here...." Silly, wasn't it? But I couldn't get +the horror of it out of my head.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>nodding</i>]</p> + +<p>Do you know why, Ernest? Because it was +in mine. It came from my thought to yours. +You and I are attuned like wireless instruments. +Even in the old blind days, there in the laboratory +I used to read your mind. Shall I tell you<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 159]</span> +the name of the monster that would put us +asunder?... Its name is Marriage.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>But I need you. You know that. And you +need me. It's too late. We are helpless now—in +the clutch of forces more potent than our little +selves—forces that brought us into the world—forces +that have made the world. Whether +you will or no, this beautiful binding power is +sweeping you and me together. And you must +yield.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>reaching for his hand</i>]</p> + +<p>Ah, my dear, could anything make it more +beautiful, more binding than it is now?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>It is perfect. The one divine thing we share +with God. The Church is right in that respect. +I used to look upon marriage as a mere contract. +It's a religious sacrament.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Does the wedding ceremony make it sacred?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 160]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>That mediæval incantation! No, love, which +is given by God, not the artificial form made +by man.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I knew it! I knew you'd see it—the mistake +of all the ages. They've tried to make love fit +marriage. It can't be done. Marriage must be +changed to fit love. [<i>Impulsively.</i>] Yes, I'll go to +Paris with you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>about to take her in his arms</i>]</p> + +<p>You darling!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>steps back</i>]</p> + +<p>But not as your wife.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stops—perplexed</i>]</p> + +<p>You mean ... without marriage?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I mean without marriage.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>They look into each other's eyes.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 161]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>A moment ago I thought I loved you as much +as man could love woman. I was mistaken in +you—I was mistaken in myself. For now I +love you as man never loved before. You superb, +you wonderful woman!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>holds out her hand to be shaken, not caressed</i>]</p> + +<p>Then you agree?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>kneels, kisses her hand, and arises</i>]</p> + +<p>Of course not! You blessed girl, don't you +suppose I understand? It's all for my sake. +Therefore for your sake—no.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Then for my sake—for the sake of everything +our love stands for!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing fondly</i>]</p> + +<p>Do you think I'd let you do anything for anybody's +sake you're sure, later, to regret?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 162]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Then don't ask me to marry you, Ernest. +We'd both regret that later. It would destroy +the two things that have brought us together, +love and work.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Nonsense. Nothing could do that.... And +besides, think of our poor horrified families! +Think of the world's view!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Aren't we sacrificing enough for the world—money, +comforts, even children? Must we also +sacrifice each other to the world? Must we be +hypocrites because others are? Must we, too, +be cowards and take on the protective coloring +of our species?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Our ideas may be higher than society's, but +society rewards and punishes its members according +to its own ideas, not ours.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Do you want society's rewards? Do you fear +society's punishment?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 163]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>jubilantly enfolding her</i>]</p> + +<p>With you in my arms, I want nothing from +heaven, I fear nothing from hell; but, my dear +[<i>shrugs and comes down to earth with a smile and +releases her</i>], consider the price, consider the +price.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Aren't you willing to pay the price?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I? Yes! But it's the woman, always the +woman, who pays.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I am willing to pay.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I am not willing to let you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>You'll have to be, dear. I shall go with you +on my terms or not at all.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with decision</i>]</p> + +<p>You will come with me as my wife or stay at +home.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 164]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>gasping</i>]</p> + +<p>Now? After all I've said, all I've done? +Ernest: I've told the family! I relied upon you. +I took for granted—Ernest, you wouldn't—you +couldn't leave me behind now.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Thanks to you and what you've made of me, +I must and will.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Ernest!</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Opens her arms to him to take her.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>about to enfold her—resists</i>]</p> + +<p>No! If you love me enough for that [<i>points +to her pleading hands</i>]—I love you enough for +this. [<i>He turns to go.</i>] Come when you're ready +to marry me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shrill, excited, angered</i>]</p> + +<p>Do you think this has been easy for me? +Do you think I'll offer myself again on any +terms? Never!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 165]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You must marry me—and you will.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>You don't know me. Good-by!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Very well!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, afraid to stay, goes at once. She +waits motionless until she hears the automobile +carrying him away. She immediately +turns from stone to tears, with a +low wail. In utter despair, hands outstretched +she sinks down upon a bench +and buries her face in her hands.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Oh, Ernest!... How could you?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>, <span class="smcap">Judge</span> and <span class="smcap">John</span> all +hurry back, all excited.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Did you see his horrified look?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Fairly running away—revolted. Ah!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Points at <span class="smcap">Helen. Helen</span> arises, defiant, +confident, calm.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 166]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>What did I tell you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>You have thrown away the love of an honorable +man.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Trampled upon the finest feelings of a deep +nature.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Let this be a lesson to you. You've lost your +chance to marry, your chance to work, and now, +by heavens! you will cut out "independence" +and stay at home, <i>where women belong</i>, and live +down this disgrace ... if you can.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>With one excuse or another—he'll stay +away. He'll never come back.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>clear and confident as if clairvoyant</i>]</p> + +<p>He will! He is coming now.... He is<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 167]</span> +crossing the hall.... He is passing through +the library.... He's here!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>But she doesn't turn. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> reappears at +the door and takes in the situation at a +glance.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>still turned toward <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>He'll never look at you again, and I don't +blame him! I'm a man; I know. We don't respect +women who sell out so cheap.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>You lie! [<i>All turn, astounded. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> runs +toward <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> with a cry of joy. <span class="smcap">John</span> starts to +block her. To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Stop! You're not fit to +touch her. No man is.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a sarcastic laugh</i>]</p> + +<p>Humph! I suppose that's why you ran away.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Yes. To protect her from myself.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Then why come back?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 168]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>To protect her from you! You cowards, you +hypocrites! [<i>He rushes down to <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, puts his +strong arm about shoulder and whispers rapidly.</i>] +Just as I started, something stopped me. In a +flash I saw ... all this.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>clasping his arm with both hands</i>]</p> + +<p>I made you come! I made you see!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>advances menacingly</i>]</p> + +<p>By what right are you here in my home? By +what right do you take my sister in your arms?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>By a right more ancient than man-made law! +I have come to the cry of my mate. I'm here to +fight for the woman I love! [<i>Arm about <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, +defies the world. To all.</i>] My trip to Paris is postponed. +One week from to-day gather all your +family here, and in your home we'll make our +declaration to the world.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>In my home! Ha! Not if I know it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 169]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>restraining <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Play for time, John—he'll bring her around.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Do you mean to marry her or not? Speak my +language!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> releases <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and steps across +to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p><i>She</i> decides that—not you.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>All turn to <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Never!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shaking off <span class="smcap">Judge</span>. To <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>]</p> + +<p>You'll go with this damned fanatic only over +my dead body.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>high</i>]</p> + +<p>And that will only cry aloud the thing you +wish to hide from the world you fear.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Just now <span class="smcap">Jean</span> is seen slowly returning +from the garden without <span class="smcap">Rex</span>. Her pretty<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 170]</span> +head is bent and, busy with her own sad +thoughts, she is startled by the following:</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>There are laws to prevent marriage in some +cases but none to enforce marriage on women—unless +they will it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>beside himself with rage</i>]</p> + +<p>Enforce! Do you think I'll ever <i>allow</i> a sister +of mine to marry a libertine?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>thinks they are discussing her, and is outraged</i>]</p> + +<p>But I'm not going to marry him! My engagement +is broken.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>General consternation. Sobbing, <span class="smcap">Jean</span> runs +into house.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>My God, what next? Lucy, don't let Rex get +away! You know what he'll do—and when he +sobers up, it may be too late. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i>] As +for you, you snake, you get right out of here.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 171]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>in the sudden silence</i>]</p> + +<p>Now you've done it, John.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Oh, very well, this is your property.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But <i>I</i> am not! I go, too!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She runs to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Don't commit this sin!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Let her go! She's no sister of mine.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>the only calm one</i>]</p> + +<p>If she leaves this house now, it's all up.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>A woman who will give herself to a man without +marriage is no sister of mine.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 172]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>about to go, turns, leaning on <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>. To all</i>]</p> + +<p>Give!... But if I <i>sold</i> myself, as you are +forcing poor little Jean to do, to a libertine she +does not love, who does not love her—that +is not sin! That is respectability! To urge and +aid her to entrap a man into marriage by playing +the shameless tricks of the only trade men +want women to learn—that is holy matrimony. +But to give yourself of your own free will to +the man you love and trust and can help, the +man who loves and needs and has won the +right to have you—oh, if this is sin, then let +me live and die a sinner!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She turns to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, gives him a look of complete +love and trust, then bursts into tears +upon his shoulder, his arms enfolding her +protectingly.</i></p></div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 173]</span></p> +<h1><span class="smcap">Act III</span></h1> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 174]</span></p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 175]</span></p> +<h2><span class="smcap">Act III</span></h2> + + +<div class="pblockquot"><p><i>It is well along in the afternoon of the same busy +day of rest. Most unaccountably—until the +<span class="smcap">Judge</span> accounts for it later—the terrace has +been decked out with festoons and flowers +since the excitement of the morning. Japanese +lanterns have been hung, though it is not +yet time to light them and though it is Sunday +in a pious household.</i></p> + +<p><i>Most incongruously and lugubriously, <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> is +pacing to and fro in silent concern.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> now comes out of the house, also looking +harassed. Lucy turns to him inquiringly. +He shakes his head sadly.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>No word from Uncle Everett?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>No word. He must have reached town long +ago, unless he had tire trouble.... It's a bad +sign, Lucy, a bad sign. He would surely telephone +us.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 176]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Oh, if he <i>only</i> hadn't missed their train!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>hopelessly</i>]</p> + +<p>Uncle Everett is the only one who could have +brought them to their senses.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>It may not be too late. He took our fastest +car, our best chauffeur.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Detectives are to watch all the steamers to-morrow. +John telephoned at once.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But to-morrow will be too late! And, oh! +when it all comes out in the newspapers! The +ghastly head-lines—"well-known scientist, +beautiful daughter of a prominent family!" +Oh! What will people say?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span>, hurried and worried, rushes out shouting +for <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Any news? Any news? [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 177]</span></span> +give him gestures of despair.</i>] Then it's too late. +[<i>He, too, paces to and fro in fury. Then bracing +up.</i>] Well, I found Rex, over at the Golf Club. +Terribly cut up. But listen; not a drink, not +one!... Where's Jean? Got to see her at +once.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Locked herself up in her room, John, crying +her little heart out!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Rex is a changed man, I tell you. We've got +to patch it up, and we've got to do it <i>quick</i>!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But, John! When the Bakers hear about +Helen ... Rex marry into our family? Never! +We're disgraced, John, disgraced!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>impatiently</i>]</p> + +<p>But they're not <i>going</i> to hear about Helen. +No one knows, and no one <i>will</i>. Helen has simply +returned to Paris to complete her scientific +research. My press-agent—he's attending to +all that.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 178]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But questions, gossip, rumor—it's bound +to come out in time!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>In time; but meanwhile, if Jean marries Rex, +the Bakers will <i>have</i> to stand for it. What's +more, they'll make <i>other</i> people stand for it. +Backed by the Bakers, no one will <i>dare</i> turn +us down.... Our position in the world, my +business relations with the old man—<i>everything +hangs on little Jean</i> now. Tell her I've simply +got to see her. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> hesitates.</i>] Hurry! Rex +is coming over later. [<i>He catches sight of the +table, festoons, etc.</i>] Heavens! What's all this +tomfoolery?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>going</i>]</p> + +<p>Uncle Everett's orders—he wouldn't stop to +explain. He left word to summon the whole +family for dinner.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> goes.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shrilly</i>]</p> + +<p>The whole family!... To-day of all days!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 179]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>John! You must not, shall not, force Jean to +marry this man.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>unappreciated</i>]</p> + +<p>Haven't I done everything for my sisters? +Can't they even <i>marry</i> for <i>me</i>?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>The man she loves or none at all.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>That cub at the law school? No money to +keep a wife, no prospects of any. His father's a +college professor.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shaking head sadly</i>]</p> + +<p>"No love without marriage, no marriage +without—money!" Ernest Hamilton's words +this morning, when we walked to church.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>watching house expectantly</i>]</p> + +<p>Survival of the fittest, Theodore, survival of +the fittest.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 180]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>The fittest for what?—for making money! +the only kind of fitness encouraged to survive, +to reproduce its species.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>If the ability to make money is not the test +of fitness, what is?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Then you are more fit than a hundred Hamiltons, +are you? And Rex? How fit is he? Rex +never made a cent in his life.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>He's got it, all the same.... See here! Haven't +I enough to worry me without your butting in? +Jean's got to marry <i>some</i>body, <i>some</i>time, hasn't +she?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But not Rex, not if I can prevent it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But you can't—you have nothing to do +with it ... except to perform the ceremony +and get a big, fat fee for it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 181]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>I—marry Jean and Rex? Never!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> comes out. She is frightened and turns +timidly to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> for protection.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Jean, don't detain Theodore. He has an important +business letter to write. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> +turns to <span class="smcap">John</span> indignantly.</i>] Your wife's sanatorium +bills—better settle up before they dun +you again.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>With your money?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Takes <span class="smcap">John's</span> check out of pocket, about to +tear it.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>catching <span class="smcap">Theodore's</span> hand</i>]</p> + +<p>For Mary's sake, for the children's—don't +give way to selfish pride.... Want to kill +your wife? Then take her out of the sanatorium. +Want to ruin your children? Then take them +out of school!... Cash your check, I tell you, +and pay your debts!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> glances at <span class="smcap">Jean</span>, at check. A +struggle. At bay, he finally pockets check +and dejectedly goes into the house.</i></p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 182]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a wet handkerchief in hand</i>]</p> + +<p>Well? If I refuse to marry Rex?... Cut +off my allowance or merely bully me to death?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>kindly</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, come! You've filled your romantic little +head full of novels. I never force <i>any</i>body to do +<i>any</i>thing. [<i>Suddenly breaks out.</i>] My heavens! +what's the matter with all of you? I only want +to give you and Lucy and Helen and Theodore +and the whole family the best of everything in +life! And what do I get for it? I'm a brutal +husband, a bullying brother, and a malefactor +of wealth. Lord! I guess I have some rights, +even if I have got money!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Rex has money, too. Should that give him the +right to women? I, too, have some rights—even +though I <i>am</i> a woman.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Any woman who can't care enough for a +Baker to marry him—Rex is the sort who<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 183]</span> +would do everything in the world for the +woman he loves, everything. All the Bakers are +like that.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>But what would he do for the woman he no +longer loves?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>He wasn't fool enough to tell you about that?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>About what?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>halting</i>]</p> + +<p>Nothing—I thought—I tell you, Rex has +reformed.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>You thought I meant his "past." I meant +his future ... and my own.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Well, if you expect to find a saint, you'll +never get married at all.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>And if I never married at all?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 184]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p><i>Then</i> what will you do?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a wail of despair</i>]</p> + +<p>That's it—then what <i>should</i> I do—what +<i>could</i> I do? Oh, it's so unfair, so unfair to train +girls only for this! What chance, what choice +have I? To live on the bounty of a disapproving +brother or a man I do not love! Oh, how +I envy Helen! If I only had a chance, a decent +chance!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Any sensible girl would envy your chance. +You'll never have another like it. You'll never +have another at all! Grab it, I tell you, grab it. +[<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span> comes quietly, a determined look on his face, +<span class="smcap">John</span> sees him.</i>] Now, think, before too late, +think hard. Think what it means to be an old +maid.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>And leaves them abruptly.</i></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> stands alone, looking very pretty in +girlish distress. <span class="smcap">Rex</span> gazes at her a moment +and then with sudden passion he +silently rushes over, seizes her in his arms, +kisses her furiously.</i></p></div><p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 185]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>indignant, struggles, frees herself, and rubs her +cheek</i>]</p> + +<p>Ugh! How could you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Because I love you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Love! It isn't even respect now.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Has that fellow ever kissed you?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I have begged you never to refer to him +again.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>He has! He has held you in his arms. He has +kissed your lips, your cheeks, your eyes!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>How many women have you held in your +arms? Have I ever tried to find out?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Ah! You don't deny it, you can't.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 186]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I can! <i>He</i> respects me. I don't deserve it, but +he does.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Thank heavens! Oh, you don't know how +this has tormented me, little Jean. The thought +of any other man's coming near you—why, I +couldn't have felt the same toward you again, +I just couldn't.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>bites her lips—then deliberately</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, then ... other men have come near +me ... other men have kissed me, Rex.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>getting wild again</i>]</p> + +<p>What! When? Where?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing cynically</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, in conservatories in town, John's camp +in the North Woods, motor rides in the country—once +or twice out here on this very terrace, +when I've felt sentimental in the moonlight.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 187]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh! Jean! I never supposed <i>you</i> were that +sort!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with distaste</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, I don't make a habit of it! I'm not <i>that</i> +sort. But ... well, this isn't all I could tell +you about myself, Rex.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Don't!... Oh, what do you mean—quick.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Oh, I've merely been handled, not hurt. +Slightly shop-worn but as good as new.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after a pause, quietly</i>]</p> + +<p>Jean, what makes you say such horribly honest +things to me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Yesterday I did you a great unkindness, Rex. +I deserve to suffer for it.... You don't suppose +I enjoy talking this way about myself?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 188]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>I never heard a girl—a nice girl—talk like +this before.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Naturally not. Usually "nice" girls hide it. +It's an instinct in women—to keep up their +value.... Often I've had thoughts and feelings +which "nice" girls of your artificial ideal +are supposed never to have at all. Perfectly natural, +too, especially girls of my sort. We have so +little to occupy our minds, except men! To have +a useful, absorbing occupation—it rubs off +the bloom, lowers our price in the market, you +see.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Oh, stop!... If you're not going to marry +me, say so, but——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>But I am!... I am not going to be a dependent +old maid. [<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span>, bewildered, only gazes +at her.</i>] But, first, I want you to know exactly +what you're getting for your money. That seems +only businesslike.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>recoils</i>]</p> + +<p>Would you only marry me for that?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 189]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>I told you I loved another man. Do you want +me?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with jealousy returning</i>]</p> + +<p>Do I want you! He shan't have you.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>He comes close.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Then take me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>seizes her passionately</i>]</p> + +<p>I'll make you love <i>me</i>! [<i>Kisses her triumphantly.</i>] +I'll bring a different light into those +cold eyes of yours. Wait until you're married! +Wait until you're awakened. I'll make you forget +that man, all other men. You are to be mine—all +mine, all mine! [<i>During this embrace <span class="smcap">Jean</span> +is quite passive, holds up her cheek to be kissed, +and when he seeks her lips she shuts her eyes and +gives him her lips. He suddenly stops, chilled; +holding her at arms length.</i>] But I don't care to +marry an iceberg. Can't you love me a little? +Haven't you any sentiment in your cynical +little soul ... you irresistible darling!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 190]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>In my soul? Yes! It's only my body I'm selling, +you know.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Then deliberately—clearly without passion—throws +her arms about his neck, clinging +close and kissing him repeatedly until +<span class="smcap">Rex</span> responds.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p>Look out, here comes the parson.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> comes out of the house.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p>Oh, Theodore! Rex and I have come to an +understanding.... Will you solemnize our +blessed union?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Not unless you truly love each other. Marriage +is sacred.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>rapidly</i>]</p> + +<p>A large church wedding—that will make it +sacred. A full choral service—many expensive +flowers—all the smartest people invited—that +always makes the union of two souls sacred.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 191]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Those who truly love—their friends should +witness the solemn rite, but——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>interrupts. To <span class="smcap">Rex</span></i>]</p> + +<p>And my wedding gown will be white satin +with a point-lace veil caught up with orange-blossoms +and a diamond tiara—"the gift of +the groom"—that ought to make it solemn.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>The white veil is the symbol of purity, Jean.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>rattling on wildly</i>]</p> + +<p>Of purity, Rex, do you hear? Whenever you +see a bride in the white symbol of purity she is +pure—that proves it. That makes it all so +beautiful! so sacred! so holy! holy! holy!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Hysterically turns and runs into the house +as <span class="smcap">John</span> comes out.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>following</i>]</p> + +<p>Jean, you must not, you shall not—[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> +blocks <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>. <span class="smcap">Rex</span> runs in after <span class="smcap">Jean</span>. To</i> +<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 192]</span> +<span class="smcap">John</span>.] John, I warn you! I'll prevent this marriage. +I'll tell every clergyman in the diocese. +I'll inform the bishop himself. This marriage +would be a sacrilege.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>You dare threaten me—after all I've done +for you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Your five thousand was a loan—not a +bribe—every cent of it will be returned.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>You can't return it. I wouldn't let you if you +could. Come, it's all in the family. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> +shakes his head.</i>] You know that beautiful Gothic +chapel old man Baker is building on his estate? +He likes you. I'll tell him you're just the man +he's looking for—safe and sane—no socialistic +tendencies.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Don't trouble yourself—he offered me the +place this morning.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>You didn't refuse it!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 193]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>I did—this morning. But since my last talk +with you I've reconsidered, I've telephoned my +acceptance.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>genuinely glad</i>]</p> + +<p>Bully! Great! Why, now you're fixed for +life. "Only one kind of fitness encouraged," +eh?... Right always triumphs in the end. +Never lose your faith again, Theodore.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Right? That whited sepulchre! his mill hands +dying like flies, his private life a public scandal!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a cynical grin</i>]</p> + +<p>Then why accept his tainted money?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>from his soul</i>]</p> + +<p>To keep my wife alive. To keep my children +out of the streets. To keep myself out of deeper +debt to you. That's why I accept it—that's +why many a man sells his soul to the devil.... +If I had only myself to consider—why, to me a<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 194]</span> +little thing like death would be a blessed luxury. +But I, why, John, I cannot afford—even to +die. I must compromise and live—live for +those dependent on me.... Your five thousand +will be returned with interest, but your little +sister will not be married to a man she does not +want.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But Rex wants <i>her</i> and money talks in this +world, louder than the Church. Refuse to marry +Baker's son and how long will you keep Baker's +chapel?... Think it over, Theodore, think it +over.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Suddenly the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> in motor garments covered +with dust comes out panting, followed +by <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> calling.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Uncle Everett! Uncle Everett!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>John! Oh, John!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Where is she!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 195]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>You were too late!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Wait! Give me time to get my breath.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Fans himself with his cap and mops brow.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>My detective—didn't he meet their train?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> nods yes.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>But they saw him first?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> shakes head no.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Didn't he follow them?</p> +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> nods yes.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Where'd they go? Where are they? Speak, +man, speak!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>raises cap and handkerchief</i>]</p> + +<p>Now, just give me a chance and I'll tell the +whole story.... The detective was waiting<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 196]</span> +at the station. He saw them step out of the train. +He followed them to the cab-stand. He watched +them get into a taxi—jumped into another +himself—and away they went, pursued by the +detective and blissfully ignorant of his existence.... +Even now they don't know they +were being watched—or else ... well, they +might have taken another course.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Quick! Tell us the worst.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>hesitates</i>]</p> + +<p>Well ... they drove straight to Helen's +apartment.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>And you were too late. I thought so.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But my detective?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>He followed and reported to me when I +reached town.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 197]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Reported what? Tell us all.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>First he saw Ernest help Helen out of the +taxi—very tenderly, like this. Little they realized +then how every detail was to be reported +to you now!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Go on! Go on!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Then the detective saw Ernest deliberately——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Yes, go on.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Deliberately lift his hat like this, say "good +afternoon" just like that, and drive on to his +own apartment a mile away.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>There is a sudden silence; the others waiting +the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> now sits down.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Oh, is that all?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 198]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Why, it's exactly as if they were engaged!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>No, Theodore, not <i>exactly</i> as if engaged.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>You're keeping something back from us! +Speak!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>gets up from chair</i>]</p> + +<p>Must I tell you? It's rather delicate.... +Well, he didn't even step into the vestibule to +kiss her good-by.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>All look at each other.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>But where are they now? Quick!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>They met later! I knew it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Yes, it's true. They are alone together at +this very moment.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 199]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p> + +<p>Where! Where?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>pointing to house</i>]</p> + +<p>There.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>What! What are they doing here?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>resumes fanning</i>]</p> + +<p>Discussing the marriage problem. [<i>General +rejoicing and relief.</i>] Sssh! Not so loud, you +might interrupt them.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>nodding knowingly</i>]</p> + +<p>Cold feet! Knew he'd lose his job.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>The disgrace. She couldn't face it.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>No, conscience. A deep religious nature.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>They all think it over a moment, each sure +of his own diagnosis.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 200]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>turning to <span class="smcap">Judge</span> with amusement</i>]</p> + +<p>So! Decided the soul-mate theory wouldn't +work in practice, eh?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>And they agree to marry?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stops fanning</i>]</p> + +<p>Marry? My, no! Nothing like that. They +think less of marriage than ever now! Helen +is using woman's sweet indirect influence on +Ernest in there at this moment!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All start toward the house impulsively, but +on second thoughts they all stop.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Then how on earth did you get them back!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>lighting cigar</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, perfectly simple, I promised Helen you'd +apologize to Ernest; promised Ernest you'd +apologize to Helen. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] Promised both +you'd arrange a nice little family party for 'em. +They bear no grudge. They're too happy.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 201]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>horrified. Indicates table</i>]</p> + +<p>The family party—for <i>them</i>? Horrors!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>tossing away match</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, here in your happy home. [<i>The others +turn on the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> indignantly.</i>] Well, don't jump +on <i>me</i>. I tell you they positively decline to elope +until after they tell the whole damn family. +Considerate of them, I say. You don't deserve +it, if you ask me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>incredulous</i>]</p> + +<p>Tell the whole ... see here, are they crazy? +Are <i>you</i> crazy? Do you think <i>I'm</i> crazy?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Impetuously turns toward the house, a man +of action.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stopping <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Wait!... You've already done your best +to destroy your sister—but you've utterly +failed. They have done nothing wrong—<i>as yet</i>. +Why, they are the finest, truest, noblest pair +of lovers I ever met! Now, aren't they, Theodore?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 202]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>I can't say that I call Helen's ideas of marriage +"noble," exactly!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>grandiloquent</i>]</p> + +<p>She is willing to sacrifice even marriage for his +career. Isn't that noble? And he! willing to sacrifice +even his career for marriage. Both noble, +if you ask me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>loud</i>]</p> + +<p>Noble tommy-rot!—a pair of pig-headed, +highbrow fools! They don't have to sacrifice +anything for anybody. Can't they work together +just as well married as unmarried?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>slyly</i>]</p> + +<p>That's what I said to her, but you had already +convinced her that it was impractical. +Work and marriage—"combine the two, and +you'll fail at both"—your own warning, John.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>angry</i>]</p> + +<p>B'r'r—you think you're very funny, don't<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 203]</span> +you! But that's my sister in there, planning to +be that fellow's mistress—right here in my +own house! Anything funny about that!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stepping aside</i>]</p> + +<p>All right, go put a stop to it then! [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> +starts toward house.</i>] It's your own house—turn +her out again. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> stops short.</i>] What are you +going to do about it, John? [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> has no answer.</i>] +Drive little Jean into marriage with a +man she does not love—she is an old-fashioned +girl. But your other sister—you can't make +her marry even the man she does love, unless +she sees fit. She is the New Woman! Society can +no longer force females into wedlock—so it +is forcing them out ... by the thousands! Approve +of it? Of course not. But what good will +our disapproval do? They will only laugh at +you. The strike is on. Few of the strikers will +let you see it. Few of the strikers have Helen's +courage. But, believe it or not, the strike will +spread. It cannot be crushed by law or force. +Unless society wakes up and reforms its rules +and regulations of marriage, marriage is doomed.... +What are you going to do about it? [<i>Silence.</i>] +I thought so—nothing. Call them bad<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 204]</span> +women and let it go at that. Blame it all on +human nature, made by God, and leave untouched +our human institutions, made by man. +You poor little pessimists! human nature to-day +is better than it ever was, but our most +important institution is worse—the most sacred +relationship in life has become a jest in +the market-place.... You funny little cowards, +you're afraid of life, afraid of love, afraid +of truth. You worship lies, and call it God!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>interrupts</i>]</p> + +<p>All right, all right—but we can't change +marriage overnight just to suit Helen. What +are <i>you</i> going to do about it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>There's just one thing to do. Will you back +me up in everything I say?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>acknowledging his own defeat</i>]</p> + +<p>Anything—everything.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Then tell Helen she doesn't have to marry,<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 205]</span> +that, with the best intentions, the Church has +made a muddle of monogamy.</p> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 383px;"> +<img src="images/i002.jpg" width="383" height="640" alt="" title="" /> +<p><i>From a photograph by White Studio.</i></p> +<p><span class="smcap">Judge</span>: You poor little pessimists! Human nature to-day is better than +it ever was, but our most important institution is worse—the most +sacred relationship in life has become a jest in the market-place.</p> +</div> + + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Uncle Everett, I protest.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>That we all admire their consecrated courage +and advise their trying this conscientious experiment.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Not if I have anything to say about it!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>But you haven't. Do please get that through +your head.... Theodore, they've talked +enough, ask them to step out here and receive +John's blessing. [<i>Impatiently.</i>] Go on—I'll fix +John. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> goes.</i>] [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>, who is about +to burst forth.</i>] Oh, see here, did you ever pull a +dog into the house against his will?... Let +him alone and he'll follow you in, wag his tail, +and lick your hand.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>You mean, they'll come in, be respectable?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 206]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Admit that marriage has numerous drawbacks—and +they'll see its advantages. Deny it—and +they'll see nothing but each other. Marriage +<i>is</i> in a bad way, but it's the less of two evils. +Marriage <i>must</i> adjust itself to the New Woman—<i>but</i> +the New Woman must meanwhile adjust +herself to marriage. [<i>Briskly to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] Now, +then, did you send out that hurry call for the +family this evening?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Yes, they're on their way here now, but +Uncle Everett, Doctor Hamilton said, next +week.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Yes, I know—it'll be a little surprise party +for Helen.... Did you order some music?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Yes, the musicians are to be stationed in the +library.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Excellent, excellent. [<i>Indicates tables and festoons.</i>] +All that junk will help, too. A good Sun<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 207]</span>day +supper this evening, Lucy; your best champagne, +John—gay spirits, family affection, +warm approval, toasts to the future. Why, all +we'll have to do is—[<i>Breaks off.</i>] Here they +come. Now follow my lead. They've done a lot +of thinking since you saw them last, but—make +one misstep and it's all off.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Be nice to her, John. It was just a girlish +impulse.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> opens arms to receive <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>My sister! All is forgiven.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>stops short, her lip curls</i>]</p> + +<p><i>You</i> forgive <i>me</i>?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Before <span class="smcap">John</span> can reply, <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and +<span class="smcap">Ernest</span> follow, talking.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>But I tell you he had a perfect right to put +me off his property. The thing I can't overlook—[<i>Sees +<span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>. Points finger at them<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 208]</span> +accusingly.</i>] Theodore has told me what you +thought.... Please don't judge us by yourselves +again—you licentious-minded married +people!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He shrugs his shoulders with fastidious +disgust and turns his back upon them.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>gasping</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, I'll be damned.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>whispers</i>]</p> + +<p>Stand for it—he's right.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But Ernest ... I'm bound to say when two +people run away together——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Ah, Theodore! you, too? Are all married people +alike? Did we want to "run away" as you +call it? Did we not ask for a week to think it +over? Did we not stipulate that in any case we +must frankly face the family first? But this +person—what did he do? he ordered us off<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 209]</span> +his property, like trespassers! What could we +do? Sit down in the road and wait a week? Bah! +we went home—you suspicious married people, +you hypocritical, unspeakable married people! +[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> has difficulty in restraining <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Why, +I believe our good friend the Judge here is the +only decent-minded, properly married person +on your property.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>bursting out</i>]</p> + +<p>Decent-minded—why, he's div——</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> stops him.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>steps in</i>]</p> + +<p>Dev-oted to his wife. Lucy is jealous of what +I'm doing for my wife. [<i>Controls laughter.</i>] Now +come, we must all just let bygones be bygones. +We know your intentions are honorable, your +courage admirable; and for whatever was amiss +in word, deed, or thought, we all humbly apologize—don't +we, John? [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> bows uncomfortably.</i>] +Lucy? Theodore? And now I want you +all to tell Ernest and Helen what you told me—that +their arguments against marriage are unanswerable, +their logic unimpeachable, and we<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 210]</span> +no longer have the slightest intention or desire +to get them divorced by matrimony. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span>, +<span class="smcap">Theodore</span>, and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> look dubious. <span class="smcap">Judge</span> +crosses over and pinches them. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> +are utterly bewildered.</i>] Why, we wouldn't +let a little thing like marriage come between +them for the world, would we, John? would we, +Lucy? would we, Theodore?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with an effort</i>]</p> + +<p>I agree with Uncle Everett entirely.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>And you, Theodore?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>in a low voice</i>]</p> + +<p>Perfectly.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>And you, Lucy?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a nervous glance at <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Absolutely.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 211]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to the lovers</i>]</p> + +<p>There. You see?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> looks from one to the other in amazement.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p> + +<p>I don't believe a word of it!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Why not? why not?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Very well, then invite the whole family here +next Sunday!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>They'll be here in an hour.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>Points to tables.</i></p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p> + +<p>In an hour!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Yes, you are to begin your new life together +this evening! Isn't it lovely?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 212]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>gasping</i>]</p> + +<p>But that's so sudden. Why, we—we aren't +ready.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Just as ready as you'll ever be.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Ernest's vacation begins to-morrow—your +honeymoon.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But, don't you see——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Those new Paris clothes John gave you—your +trousseau.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Well, but——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>And this family gathering this evening, your—in +a manner of speaking—wedding party. +[<i>Waving aside all the lovers' objections.</i>] Now, it's +all fixed, let's go and dress for the—as it +were—ceremony.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 213]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>blocks the way. Serious</i>]</p> + +<p>Wait! Did I ever say I would not marry this +woman?</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>All stop, turn, exchange glances.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart</i>]</p> + +<p>Ah! a broad-minded chap.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>with a wink at <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Ah! so you think you'd like to marry my sister +after all?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Oh, you're an ass! What have I been doing +for the past twenty-four hours? Begging her to +marry me. What have you been doing? Preventing +it. Why did I postpone sailing for a week? +Why did I insist upon the family party? +[<i>Comes nearer to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] You're an idiot.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>pinching <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Stand for it, John. You've got to stand for it. +Tell him you love him like a brother ... in-law.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 214]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>controls himself</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, I ... I—you have my consent, Doctor +Hamilton, I'm sure.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p><i>Your</i> consent! What's that got to do with it? +[<i>They all turn toward <span class="smcap">Helen</span>. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> steps between +them.</i>] Now wait!... This morning you +tried bullying. Did it work? This afternoon +bluffing. Think <i>that</i> will work? [<i>Hand on <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> +shoulder.</i>] You can't frighten her into marriage. +I've tried that myself. We've got to appeal +to some higher motive than self-interest or +superstition with <i>this</i> woman, racial motives, +unselfish motives. [<i>With force.</i>] But don't talk +to me about her being "immoral." I won't +stand for it. If you want her to marry, prove +the morality of marriage.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>The "morality of marriage"! What next?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p> + +<p>That's what I said—the morality of <i>marriage</i>! +This woman is not on trial before you.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 215]</span> +Marriage is on trial before her, and thus far +I'm bound to say you've not made out a good +case for it. But simply <i>justify</i> her marrying me, +and—I give you my word—you can perform +the ceremony this very evening. No license is +required in this State, you know.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>This creates a sensation.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Now, what could be fairer than that! [<i>To +<span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Do you agree to this?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>she nods</i>]</p> + +<p>We agree in everything.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p><i>Both</i> broad-minded!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p> + +<p>I never said I did not believe in a legal wedding—[<i>others +surprised</i>] for those who can +afford the luxury of children.... But for those +who have to take it out in working for other +people's children all their lives—a ceremony<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 216]</span> +seems like a subterfuge. Without children I +don't see how any marriage is ever consummated—socially.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Ah, but this relationship—it's a sacred +thing in itself.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>sincerely</i>]</p> + +<p>I know it. I want to do right, Theodore, +please believe that I do! But the kind of marriage +preached by the Church and practised by +the world—does that cherish the real sacredness +of this relationship? Of course, I can only +judge from appearances, but so often marriage +seems to destroy the sacredness—yes, and also +the usefulness—of this relationship!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>But, my dear girl——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>smiles</i>]</p> + +<p>He thinks so, too. Only he has a quaint, mannish +notion that he must "protect me." [<i>To +<span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, patting his arm.</i>] Haven't you, dear!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Again she has raised the shield of flippancy.</i></p> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 217]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>What did I tell you, Theodore? The old marriage +doesn't fit the New Woman. A self-supporting +girl like Helen objects to obeying a +mere man—like Ernest.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>patting the <span class="smcap">Judge's</span> arm affectionately, too</i>]</p> + +<p>Uncle Everett, you know nothing about it! +You think you understand the new generation. +The only generation you understand is the one +which clamored for "Woman's Rights." [<i>To +<span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i>] I obey you already—every day of +my life, do I not, dear? [<i>Looking up into his +face.</i>] You're my "boss," aren't you, Ernest? +[<i>To <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] But I do object to contracting by +law for what is better done by love.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughs fondly</i>]</p> + +<p>But suppose the promise to obey were left +out?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>But the contract to love—[<i>To <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>.</i>] +that's so much worse, it seems to me. Obedience +is a mere matter of will, is it not? But when +a man promises to love until death—<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 218]</span>—</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Are you so cold, so scientific, so <i>unsexed</i>, that +you cannot trust the man you love?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Why, Theodore, if I didn't trust him I'd +<i>marry</i> him! Contracts are not for those who +trust—they're for those who don't.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>takes <span class="smcap">Helen</span> apart</i>]</p> + +<p>Now, I may be old-fashioned, Helen, but I'm +a married woman, and I know men. You never +can tell, my dear, you never can tell.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Do you think I'd live with a man who did not +love me? Do you think I'd live <i>on</i> a man I did +not love? [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> blinks.</i>] Why, what kind of a +woman should I be then! The name wife—would +that change it? Calling it holy—would +that hallow it?... Every woman, married or +not, knows the truth about this! In her soul +woman has always known. But until to-day +has never dared to tell.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 219]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>approaching <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, come now—those vows—they aren't +intended in a literal sense. Ask Theodore. +Why, no sane person means half of that gibberish. +"With all my worldly goods I thee endow"—millions +of men have said it—how +many ever did it? How many clergymen ever +expect them to!... It's all a polite fiction in +beautiful, sonorous English.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>The most sacred relationship in life! Ernest, +shall you and I enter it unadvisedly, lightly, +and with <span class="smcap">LIES</span> on our lips?... Simply because +others do?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>a little impatient</i>]</p> + +<p>But the whole world stands for this. And the +world won't stand for that.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Is that reverently, soberly, and in the fear +of God? No, cynically, selfishly, and in the fear +of man. I don't want to be obstinate, I don't +like to set myself up as "holier than thou,"<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 220]</span> +but, Ernest, unless we begin honestly, we'll end +dishonestly. Somehow marriage seems wicked +to me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>nudging <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p> + +<p>How do you like that?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>John is right—they've gone mad.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>All the same, you've got to marry me—you've +simply <i>got</i> to.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>You are mistaken. I do <i>not</i> have to marry +<i>any one</i>. I can support myself.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Then I'm disappointed in you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>And I in you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I thought you were sensible.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 221]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I thought you were honest.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Honest! You accuse me of dishonesty?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>You don't believe in "half of that gibberish." +Yet you are willing to work the Church for our +own worldly advantage! You are willing to +prostitute the most sacred thing in life!... If +that is not dishonest, what is!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>And you are the woman I love and want to +marry! In all my life I was never accused of dishonesty +before.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>You never tried to marry before. No one is +honest about marriage.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I never shall try again. I'm going to Paris +to-morrow and I'm going alone.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Then do it. Don't threaten it so often—do it.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 222]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I shall. And I'll never come back.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Nobody asked you to.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Helen—for the last time—just for my +sake—marry me.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>For the last time—no! no! <span class="smcap">NO</span>!! I won't be +a hypocrite even for your sake.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She turns away, he starts off, then stops, +rushes over to her.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>holds out arms</i>]</p> + +<p>I can't. You know it. Without you I'm +nothing.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>taking both his hands</i>]</p> + +<p>Without you.... Oh, my dear, my dear.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Forgive me, forgive me.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 223]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>It was all my fault.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>No, I was a brute. I'm not worthy of you.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>covering his lips with her hand</i>]</p> + +<p>Sssh—I can't stand it—I was perfectly horrid +to you. And you were doing it all for my +sake. [<i>Laughing and crying.</i>] You dear old +thing—I knew it all the time.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>They seem about to embrace.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shaking with laughter</i>]</p> + +<p>Was there ever in the world anything like +it!... Well, children, see here. He's willing +to lie for your sake. She's willing to die for your +sake. Now, why not just split the difference +and have a civil ceremony for <i>our</i> sake.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>No, they will marry for a better reason. +Think of the <i>sin</i> of it! [<i>To <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Have you +no sense of sin?<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 224]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>If not, think of the humor of it! Have you no +sense of humor?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>still drying eyes and smiling to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Not a scrap. Neither has Ernest. Have you, +dear?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I <i>hope</i> not—judging from those who always +say they have.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>solemnly</i>]</p> + +<p>Helen, look at Ernest—Ernest look at +Helen. [<i>The lovers do so.</i>] Look into each other's +very souls!... You know, you <i>must</i> know, +that in the eyes of God this thing would be a +sin, a heinous sin.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The lovers gaze deep into each other's eyes in +silence.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>tremulous from the emotion he has just been +through</i>]</p> + +<p>The glory and the gladness I see in this +woman's eyes a sin? Her trust in me, my worship +of her, our new-found belief in a future life,<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 225]</span> +our greater usefulness together in this—bah! +don't talk to me about sin! Such women cannot +sin—they love.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>tired out</i>]</p> + +<p>Oh, you can talk all night, but this is a practical +world. How long could you keep your job +in the institute? Then how'll you live! Private +practice? No respectable home will let you inside +the door.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>I've seen the inside of respectable homes. I +want no more. [<i>Taking from his pocket a piece +of paper.</i>] This morning I came to ask for your +sister's hand in marriage. Your manners did not +please me. So I cabled over to Metchnikoff. +[<i>Hands cablegram to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] His answer. Positions +await us both at the Pasteur Institute in Paris. +That luxurious suite on to-morrow's steamer +still waits in my name.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>Ernest! Stop! Think! This woman's soul is +in your hands.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> seems to hesitate. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> crosses to +him. <span class="smcap">Judge</span> seizes <span class="smcap">John</span>, whispers, and +shoves him across.</i></p></div> +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 226]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Doctor Hamilton! I apologize!... You're +a man of the world. You know what this means—she +doesn't. She is in your power—for +God's sake go to Paris without her.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> tries to lead <span class="smcap">Helen</span> away from <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>. +She shudders at <span class="smcap">John's</span> masterful +touch and clings to her lover.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>And leave her here in <i>your</i> power? Never +again! You've forced her out of her work—you'd +force her into legalized prostitution, if you +could, like her innocent little sister. [<i>Snatches +<span class="smcap">Helen</span> away from <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] No, married or not, +she sails with me in the morning. That's final.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>The lovers turn away together.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Where are you going?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>To ask Marie to pack my trunk.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>To telephone for a motor.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 227]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>But you won't start until after the family +party?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>Of course not.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>In a sudden silence <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> +walk into the house, leaving the family in despair.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>after a long sigh, to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>I knew you'd bungle it, I knew it—but +there's still a chance, just one more card to +play.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> comes out.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Good heavens! Already?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p> + +<p>Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby, Doctor and Mrs. +Grey, and the Misses Grey.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>flurried</i>]</p> + +<p>And we're not even dressed!<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 228]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>No matter. It's Sunday—many orthodox +people ... why, Mr. Baker won't even dine +out on Sunday.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter the persons announced. Greetings.</i> +"How warm it is for September." ... +"And how's the baby, Margaret?" <i>etc.</i></p> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Judge</span> apart are planning excitedly. +<span class="smcap">Jean</span> and <span class="smcap">Rex</span> come out, and +finally <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, followed by <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p> + +<p>Dinner is served, ma'am.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The <span class="smcap">Second Man</span> touches button. Japanese +lanterns glow, silver shines, and all move +toward the tables, a happy, united family.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>going-to-dinner manner as she leads the way</i>]</p> + +<p>We can hardly go out formally because we're +already out, you know. Aunt Susan, will you sit +over there on John's right? Doctor Hamilton by +me? Rex on the other side?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Here, Helen. No, Jean, you are beside Rex, +you know.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 229]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Until married, then you're separated.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p>Cousin Charlie—that's it. [<i>All take their +places.</i>] Most extraordinary weather for September, +isn't it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>he slaps his cheek</i>]</p> + +<p>Isn't it?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shocked and hurt</i>]</p> + +<p>That's the first mosquito I have ever known +on our place.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>indignantly</i>]</p> + +<p>We never have mosquitoes here. You must +have been mistaken.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The servants are passing in and out of +house with courses. The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> now +brings a telegram to <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>From Julia! [<i>Tears it open eagerly, reads, and<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 230]</span> +then shouts.</i>] She's coming back to me, she's +coming back! Look at that, look at that!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Jumps up and shows telegram to <span class="smcap">John</span>. +Then taking it around to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> he sings +to tune of "Merrily we roll along"</i>:</p> + +<p> + Aunt Julia is coming back<br /> + Coming back—coming back<br /> + Aunt Julia is coming back<br /> + Coming back from Reno.<br /> +</p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p> + +<p>From Reno? That sounds like divorce, Uncle +Everett.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>Like divorce? Does that sound like divorce? +[<i>Takes telegram from <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> and hands it to +<span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Read it aloud.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>reading</i>]</p> + +<p>"Dear boy, I can't stand it, either. Come to +me or I go to you."</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>sings during the reading</i>]</p> + +<p>Coming back from Reno. [<i>Breaks off—to</i> +<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 231]</span> +<span class="smcap">Helen</span>.] So you thought we wanted a divorce, +did you?</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 640px;"> +<img src="images/i003.jpg" width="640" height="409" alt="" title="" /> +<p><i>From a photograph by White Studio.</i></p> +<p style="text-align:center"><span class="smcap">Judge</span>: We thought we believed in trial marriage. Nothing of the sort—trial separation! What +marriage put asunder divorce has joined together.</p> +</div> + + + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I never dreamed of such a thing.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>looks at her a moment, then in a burst</i>]</p> + +<p>Well, <i>I</i> did. The dream of my life—your +Aunt Julia's, too. We thought we believed in +trial marriage, but we don't—we believe in +trial <i>separation</i>!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>uncomfortably</i>]</p> + +<p>They thought they didn't love each other, +but they do, you see.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>We don't, we don't, but we can't get along +without each other ... got the habit of +having each other around and can't break it.... +This morning I telegraphed: "Are you +doing this just for my sake?" She replied, +"Tutti-frutti." [<i>Sings.</i>] Aunt Julia's coming +back. Oh, I'm too happy to eat.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 232]</span> +[<i>Singing, while +others eat and drink</i>:</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p> + Coming back, coming back,<br /> + Aunt Julia is coming back<br /> + Coming back from Reno.<br /> +</p></div> + +<p>And I don't care who knows it. The more the +better for marriage. The truth—give me more +truth, give me more—champagne. [<i><span class="smcap">Butler</span> +fills glass as <span class="smcap">Judge</span> raises it.</i>] Here's to your +Aunt Julia, the best wife—I ever had. [<i>All rise, +drink, laugh, and sit down.</i>] And I'll never, never +get another.... You know I thought maybe I +might. Oh, Everett, Everett, you sly dog, you +old idiot you!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>arises, clearing throat, tapping on glasses for +silence</i>]</p> + +<p>And now, speaking of divorce, I have an engagement +to announce. [<i>Some laughter but all +quiet down. He smiles at <span class="smcap">Jean</span>.</i>] Of course, you +can't guess whose. Friends, it is my privilege to +announce the engagement of my good friend +Rex Baker to my dear sister Jean. [<i>Gentle applause +and congratulations. Music begins.</i>] And +so I will now ask all to arise and drink to the +health and prosperity of my little sister and my +brother-in-law to be! And my best wish is that<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 233]</span> +they will be as happy as my better half and me. +[<i>All cheer and drink health standing.</i>] Speech, +Rex!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Some of them playfully try to put him on his +feet.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>shaking his head and maintaining his seat</i>]</p> + +<p>I can't make a speech. I'm too happy for +words—See-what-I-mean?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>in a low, significant tone</i>]</p> + +<p>Jean, aren't you going to say something?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>arises, all silent, she looks at <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, <span class="smcap">Rex</span>, <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Words cannot describe my happiness, either.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>She resumes her seat, and all gather round +to congratulate <span class="smcap">Jean</span> and <span class="smcap">Rex</span>.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>rapping for quiet</i>]</p> + +<p>One moment, one moment. Another toast, another +toast! [<i>Others quiet down.</i>] We have with +us to-night one who, in honoring whom we<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 234]</span> +honor ourselves, one who with capital back of +him would soon become the greatest scientist +in America! [<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> leads applause,</i> "hear, hear!" +<i>etc. <span class="smcap">John</span> raises glass.</i>] To the distinguished guest +whom I am proud to welcome to my humble +board, to the noble humanitarian whom Mr. +Baker delights to honor, to the good friend +whom we all admire and trust, Doctor Ernest +Hamilton!</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>All applaud and about to drink health, +<span class="smcap">Judge</span> jumps up.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>And to his fair collaborator! the brave woman +who at this modern warrior's side daily risks +her life for others, handling death and disease +in those mighty but unsung battles for the common +weal! [<i>Applause.</i>] A New Woman? No, +friends, look behind the stupid names the mob +would cast, like stones to destroy, look and +you will see your true conservative—willing +to appear radical in order to conserve woman's +work in the world! willing to appear ridiculous +to right ancient wrongs! willing even to appear +<i>wrong</i>—for those she loves! Ah, the same old-fashioned +woman we all adore, in a form so +new we blindly fail to understand her glorious<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 235]</span> +advent before our very eyes! To Helen, the gracious +embodiment of all that is sweetest, noblest, +and best in womanhood—to Helen! Our +lovely Helen!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>up again at once</i>]</p> + +<p>Family approval, social esteem, and an honored +career—all this is theirs for the asking! +To-day to me they have confessed their love—to-night +to you I now announce ... their +engagement! Long life and happiness to Helen +and Ernest!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Great enthusiasm—even pounding on the +table. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> arises, looking surprised. +<span class="smcap">John</span> signalling to rest of family to join in.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">The Family</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>glasses raised, drowning out <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Long life and happiness, long life and happiness!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>raises hand</i>]</p> + +<p>Wait! Before you drink this toast.... [<i>The +glasses stop midway. Sudden silence.</i>] Your congratulations +we appreciate, your kind wishes<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 236]</span> +we desire—but not on false pretences. We +are not engaged to be married.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>In the tense silence a shudder ripples the +family joy.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Gee! They had a scrap, too?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>up, nervously. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> still standing</i>]</p> + +<p>If I may interrupt.... He has financial +reasons—I respect him for it. But this very +day the Baker Institute in recognition of Doctor +Hamilton's distinguished services to humanity +has doubled his salary—doubled it! +It's all right now—it's all right.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Four thousand, eh?... get a very decent +touring car for that.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p> + +<p>That is very kind, but that is not the point. +True, our mutual needs are such that we can<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 237]</span>not +live nor work apart, but our convictions +are such that we cannot live and work <i>together</i>—in +what you have the humor to call "holy +wedlock." Now, Helen, the motor is waiting.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sensation. Gasps of amazement and horror. +Some jump up from table. A chair is upset. +<span class="smcap">Ernest</span> holds <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> wrap. General +movement and murmurs.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>barring way</i>]</p> + +<p>You leave this house only over my dead body.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Others gather around lovers.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p> + +<p>Stand back!... Let him among you who +has a purer ideal of love, a higher conception of +duty cast the first stone.</p> +<p class="pright">[<i>All stop. Silenced.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>But this man and this woman would destroy +marriage!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>standing beside lovers</i>]</p> + +<p>No! Such as they will not destroy marriage—they +will save it! They restore the vital sub<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 238]</span>stance +while we preserve the empty shell. +Everything they have said, everything they +have done, proves it. The promise to love—they +could not help it—they took it—I heard +them. The instinct for secrecy—they felt it—we +all do—but straightway they told the next +of kin. [<i>Points to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Even when insulted and +driven forth from the tribe, they indignantly +refused to be driven into each other's arms until +you of the same blood could hear them plight +their troth! Believe in marriage? Why, there +never was, there never will be a more perfect +tribute to true marriage than from this fearless +pair you now accuse of seeking to destroy it! +[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> tries to interrupt, but the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> waves him +down.</i>] They have been not only honorable but +old-fashioned, save in the one orthodox detail +of accepting the authority constituted by society +for its protection and for <i>theirs</i>. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Helen</span> +and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i>] But now, I'm sure, before starting +on their wedding journey—another old-fashioned +convention they believe in—that, just +to please us if not themselves, they will consent +to be united in the bonds of holy wedlock by +Cousin Theodore who stands ready and waiting +with prayer-book in hand.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i>Family subsides. Everybody happy. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> +steps up, opens prayer-book.</i></p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 239]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p>"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together +here in the sight of God——"</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>suddenly loud and clear</i>]</p> + +<p>Theodore! are you going to marry Rex and +Jean?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>impatiently</i>]</p> + +<p>Of course, of course, Mr. Baker's chaplain.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p> + +<p>Theodore! You! Are you going to stand up +and tell the world that God has joined those +two together—<span class="smcap">God</span>?</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> looks at <span class="smcap">John</span> but does not deny +it and says nothing.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>Then you will be blaspheming love—and +God who made it. No, you shall not marry us.</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>agreeing with <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Some things are too sacred to be profaned.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 240]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>overwhelmed</i>]</p> + +<p>Profaned?... By the Church?</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p>Your love too sacred for the Church? The +Church has a name for such love! The world a +name for such women!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>about to strike <span class="smcap">John</span>, then shrugs</i>]</p> + +<p>A rotten world! A kept Church! Come, let's +get away from it all! Come!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> offers her hand in farewell to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, +but <span class="smcap">John</span> shields her from <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> touch, +then to <span class="smcap">Jean</span>. <span class="smcap">Rex</span> shields <span class="smcap">Jean</span> from +contamination, but <span class="smcap">Jean</span> weeps.</i></p></div> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>barring the way. To <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Stop! You cannot! The very tie that binds +you to this woman binds you to us and to the +whole world with hooks of steel! [<i>The lovers are +still going, <span class="smcap">Judge</span> ascends steps, facing them.</i>] For +the last time! before too late! <span class="smcap">Ernest!</span> You +<i>know</i> that in the eyes of God you <i>are</i> taking +this woman to be your wife.<span class='pagenum'>[Pg 241]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p>In the eyes of <i>God</i>, I <i>do</i> take Helen to be my wife—but——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p>You, Helen! Speak, woman, speak!</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p> + +<p>I take Ernest to be my husband in the eyes of God, but——</p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>raises his hand augustly and in a voice of authority</i>]</p> + +<p>Then, since you, Ernest, and you, Helen, +have made this solemn declaration before God +and in the presence of witnesses, I, by the +authority vested in me by the laws of this +State do now pronounce you man and wife!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Mr.</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Hamilton</span> look at each other +bewildered. Meanwhile the silence has been pierced, first by a little hysterical +scream from <span class="smcap">Jean</span>, then the others all wake +up and crowd about the happy pair, congratulating them. The women who had +snubbed <span class="smcap">Helen</span> before cover her with +kisses, for now she is fit for their embraces.</i></p></div> + +<p><span class='pagenum'>[Pg 242]</span></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p> + +<p>Saved! Saved! Respectable at last, thank +God. [<i>Raising his glass and hammering for attention.</i>] +Here's to the bride and groom.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">All</span> cheer, raise glasses, and drink.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>when the noise dies down. As the others kiss +<span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p> + +<p>A moment ago you were a bad woman. Now [<i>to all</i>] +behold! she is a good woman. Marriage is wonderful.</p> + +<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> run to <span class="smcap">Judge</span> and shake hands.</i></p> + +<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p> + +<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, his wife</i>]</p> + +<p>Yes, Respectability has triumphed this time, but let Society take +warning and beware! beware! beware!</p> + + +<h2><span class="smcap">Curtain</span></h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> +<h3>BY JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS</h3> + +<hr style="width: 15%;" /> +<div class="pblockquot"> +<p>PRINCETON STORIES (1895).</p> + +<p>THE ADVENTURES OF A FRESHMAN (1899).</p> + +<p>THE STOLEN STORY, AND OTHER NEWSPAPER +STORIES (1899).</p> + +<p>NEW YORK SKETCHES (1902).</p> + +<p>THE DAY-DREAMER (1906). (Being a novelization +of the four-act comedy, "The Stolen +Story."</p> + +<p>THE GIRL AND THE GAME, AND OTHER +COLLEGE STORIES (1908).</p> + +<p>THE MARRIED LIFE OF THE FREDERIC +CARROLLS (1910).</p> + +<p>REMATING TIME (1916).</p> + +<p>WHY MARRY? (1918). New edition of "And So +They Were Married."</p> +</div> + +<h4>CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS</h4> + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Why Marry?, by Jesse Lynch Williams + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHY MARRY? *** + +***** This file should be named 35389-h.htm or 35389-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/3/8/35389/ + +Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Why Marry? + +Author: Jesse Lynch Williams + +Release Date: February 24, 2011 [EBook #35389] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHY MARRY? *** + + + + +Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + +WHY MARRY? + + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + HELEN: You're about the most conceited man I ever knew. + ERNEST: How can I help it, when you admire me so? [_Page_ 94. + ] + + + + WHY MARRY? + + (Originally published under the title + "And So They Were Married") + + BY + JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS + + [Illustration] + + ILLUSTRATED + + + [Illustration: Banner Play Bureau + 111 Ellis Street + San Francisco, California] + + + PUBLISHED BY + CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + + + COPYRIGHT, 1914, 1918, BY + CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + _Published October, 1914_ + + _New and revised edition published April, 1918_ + _Reprinted September, 1918; February, 1919_ + + + [All rights strictly reserved--including amateur acting rights.] + + + [Illustration] + + + + TO + HARRIET AND JAMES LEES LAIDLAW + + + + +WHY MARRY? + + +A Comedy in Three Acts + + New York: Astor Theatre: Produced by Selwyn & Company, Dec. 25, + 1917, under the direction of Roi Cooper Megrue. + + The scene is a week-end at a country house not far away; the time, + Saturday afternoon, Sunday morning, and Sunday evening. + + +THE PEOPLE AT THE HOUSE (As You Meet Them) + + JEAN, the host's younger sister, who has been brought + up to be married and nothing else LOTUS ROBB + + REX, an unmarried neighbor, who has not been brought + up to be anything but rich HAROLD WEST + + LUCY, the hostess, who is trying her best to be "just + an old-fashioned wife" in a new-fashioned home, BEATRICE BECKLEY + + UNCLE EVERETT, a Judge, who belongs to the older + generation and yet understands the new--and + believes in divorce NAT C. GOODWIN + + COUSIN THEODORE, a clergyman and yet a human being, + who believes in everything--except divorce, ERNEST LAWFORD + + JOHN, who owns the house and almost every one in + it--and does not believe in divorce EDMUND BREESE + + HELEN, the host's other sister, whom every one wants + to marry, but who doesn't want to marry any one, ESTELLE WINWOOD + + ERNEST, a scientist, who believes in neither divorce + nor marriage but makes a great discovery SHELLEY HULL + (By arrangement with George C. Tyler) + + THE BUTLER RICHARD PITMAN + + THE FOOTMAN WALTER GOODSON + + + + +ADVANCE NOTICE BY THE AUTHOR + + +One afternoon shortly before the New York "opening" of this comedy a +most estimable lady sat down to make me a cup of tea. + +"Now, do tell me, what is your play about?" she inquired with +commendable enthusiasm. For, being a true woman, she had early achieved +the becoming habit of letting members of the superior sex talk about +themselves. + +"'Why Marry?'" said I, "tells the truth about marriage." + +"Oh, why," she expostulated, "why write unpleasant plays?" + +"But it is not 'unpleasant.'" + +"Then it isn't true!" she exclaimed. "That is, I mean--I mean--did you +say cream or lemon?" + +And in the pause which accompanied the pouring of the cream I detected +the look of one realizing too late that it is always better to think +before speaking. + +This little incident, it seemed to me, epitomizes charmingly the +attitude of "our nicest people" toward our fundamental institution. The +truth about marriage must be unpleasant. Therefore, tell us something +we know isn't true. It will be so much nicer for our young people. + +It is to be feared, however, that young people who go to see "Why +Marry?" in the hope of being shocked do not get their money's worth. I +have heard of but two persons who have been scandalized by this play, +and they were both old people. One was a woman in the country who had +not seen it, but had read the title, and so wrote several indignant +letters about it. The other was an elderly bachelor of the type which +finds useful occupation in decorating club windows like geraniums. He +took his niece to see it, and, deciding at the end of Act II that the +play was going to be unpleasant in Act III, took her home at once. The +next afternoon she appeared at the matinee with a whole bevy of her own +generation and saw the rest of the play. I asked her later if it had +shocked any of them. + +"Oh, no," she replied, "we are too young to be shocked." + +That little incident also struck me as socially significant. There never +were two generations inhabiting the same globe simultaneously with such +widely separated points of view. + + * * * * * + +For several years after this play was first published no theatrical +manager on Broadway would produce it. I don't blame them, I want to +thank them for it. I doubt if this sort of thing could have appealed to +many theatre-goers then, especially as my young lovers are trying to be +good, not bad. "Self-expression" and "the right to happiness" do not +enter into their plans. The causes of their courageous and, of course, +mistaken decision are unselfish and social motives, however futile and +antisocial the results would have been had not their desperate +determination been thwarted.... When this play was first published most +people were not thinking along these lines. Such ideas were considered +radical then. They will soon be old-fashioned--even on the stage. + +Kind and discriminating as the critics have been in regard to this +comedy (a discriminating critic being, of course, one who praises your +play), few of them have seen the point which I thought I was making +emphatically clear, namely, that we can't cure social defects by +individual treatment. Not only the lovers, but all the characters in +this play are trying to do right according to their lights. There is no +villain in this piece. At least the villain remains "off stage." Perhaps +that is why so few see him. You are the villain, you and I and the rest +of society. We are responsible for the rules and regulations of the +marriage game. Instead of having fun with human nature, I tried to go +higher up and have fun with human institutions. + +I say "tried," because apparently I did not succeed. The joke is on me. +Still, I can get some amusement out of it: for a great many people seem +to like this play who would be indignant if they knew what they were +really applauding. They think they are merely enjoying "satire on human +nature." Now, it is a curious fact that you can always curse human +nature with impunity; can malign it, revile it, boot it up and down the +decalogue, and you will be warmly praised. "How true to life!" you are +told. "I know some one just like that." (It is always some one else, of +course.) But dare lay hands on the Existing Order--and you'll find +you've laid your hands on a hornet's nest. + +You see, most people do not want anything changed--except possibly the +Law of Change. They do not object to finding fault with mankind because +"you can't change human nature," as they are fond of telling you with an +interesting air of originality. But laws, customs, and ideals can be +changed, can be improved. Therefore they cry: "Hands off! How dare you!" +Man made human institutions, therefore we reverence them. Whereas human +nature was merely made by God. So we don't think so much of it. We are +prejudiced, like all creators, in favor of our own creations. After all, +there is excellent precedent for such complacency. Even God, we are +informed, pronounced his work "all very good" and rested on the seventh +day. + + * * * * * + +Pretty nearly everything in the play as acted is in the book as +published; but by no means all that is in the book could possibly be +enacted on the stage in two hours and a half. One scene, a breakfast +scene between John and his wife, has been amplified for acting, but all +the other scenes as printed here have been shortened for stage purposes +and one or two cut out entirely. + +The "set" was changed to represent the loggia, instead of the terrace, +of John's "little farm." Outdoor scenes are not supposed to be good for +comedy. Walls, or a suggestion of them, produce a better psychological +effect for the purpose, besides making it possible to speak in quieter, +more intimate tones than when the voice spills out into the wings and up +into the paint loft. + +Near the end of the play a number of relatives, rich and poor, are +supposed to arrive for dinner and for influencing by their presence the +recalcitrant couple. That is the way it is printed and that is how it +was acted during the first few weeks of the Chicago run. But though the +family may have its place in the book, it proved to be an awful nuisance +on the stage. No matter how well these minor parts might be acted (or +dressed), their sudden irruption during the last and most important +moments of the performance distracted the audience's attention from the +principal characters and the main issue. It was not clear who was who. +Programmes fluttered; perplexity was observed.... So we decided that the +family must be destroyed. It is always a perplexing problem to devise a +substitute for the family. + + JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS. + + + + +ILLUSTRATIONS + + + HELEN: You're about the most conceited man I ever knew. + ERNEST: How can I help it, when you admire me so? _Frontispiece_ + + FACING PAGE + ALL: Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce? + JUDGE: Because, damn it, I don't like her 30 + + + JUDGE: You poor little pessimists! Human nature + to-day is better than it ever was, but our most + important institution is worse--the most sacred + relationship in life has become a jest in the + market-place 204 + + + JUDGE: We thought we believed in trial marriage. + Nothing of the sort--trial separation! What + marriage put asunder divorce has joined together 230 + + + + +ACT I + + +"And So They Were Married" + + + + +ACT I + + + _Up from the fragrant garden comes a girl, running. She takes the + broad terrace steps two at a stride, laughing, breathless, fleet + as a fawn, sweet as a rose. She is hotly pursued by a boy, + handsome, ardent, attractively selfish, and just now blindly + determined to catch the pretty creature before she gains the + protecting shelter of home. She is determined to let him but not + to let him know it.... There, she might have darted in through the + open door, but it is such a cold, formal entrance; she pretends to + be exhausted, dodges behind a stone tea-table, and, turning, faces + him, each panting and laughing excitedly; she alluring and + defiant, he merry and dominant._ + + _She is twenty-five and he is a year or two older, but they are + both children; in other words, unmarried._ + + +REX + +Think I'll let you say that to me? + + +JEAN + +[_making a face at him_] + +Think I'm afraid of you! + + +REX + +Take it back, I tell you. + + +JEAN + +I won't. + + +REX + +I'll make you. + + +JEAN + +[_with a dance step_] + +Think so, do you? + + +REX + +I warn you. + + +JEAN + +Booh-woo! + + [_He makes a feint to the right, then dashes to the left and + catches her._ + + +REX + +[_triumphantly_] + +Now!... You would, would you? + + +JEAN + +[_struggling_] + +Let me go. + + +REX + +I couldn't think of it. + + +JEAN + +[_seizes his hands to free herself--can't_] + +You're so strong--it isn't fair. + + +REX + +You're so sweet--it isn't fair. + + [_Smiling down at her struggles, rejoicing in his strength, her + weakness, he gently draws her near._ + + +JEAN + +[_knows what is coming_] + +No, Rex. + + +REX + +Yes. + + +JEAN + +You mustn't. + + +REX + +But I will. + + [_He laughs and kisses her lightly on the cheek. Therefore + she struggles furiously. Therefore he does it again. And + again. Suddenly he enfolds her completely and kisses her + passionately--cheeks, mouth, eyes--until she gasps in + alarm. Laughter has gone from them now._ + + +JEAN + +Oh, please!... some one will come. + + +REX + +[_with the intoxication of such moments_] + +I don't care who comes--I love you. + + +JEAN + +No ... let me go. + + +REX + +Not till you kiss me, Jean. [_JEAN hesitates, brushes his cheek lightly +with her lips, and in pretty confusion tries to escape._] Not till you +say you love me, Jean. [_Eyes hidden in his coat, she bobs her head. He +laughs and loves it._] Say it! + + +JEAN + +I--er--do. + + +REX + +Do _what_?... _Say_ it!... + + [_She cannot. He swings her about, bringing her face close to his._ + + +JEAN + +I love you, Rex. Are you sure you love me? + + +REX + +Am I sure! You irresistible little-- + + [_Begins to kiss her. Masculine triumph._ + + +JEAN + +And want to marry me, Rex? + + +REX + +[_stops--startled--had not thought of that_] + +Why--er--of course. What did you suppose! + + [_Drops his eyes, sobered._ + + +JEAN + +[_feminine triumph_] + +And me "a penniless orphing"? + + +REX + +[_fascinated by the way she says it, he laughs. Then, his honor +touched_] + +Why, what kind of a man do you take me for! + + [_And wants her lips again._ + + +JEAN + +[_giving herself to him, head sinks upon his shoulder_] + +Then, oh, Rex, love me and be nice to me and--and take me away from all +this! + + [_She covers her face with her hands and sobs. He pats her + tenderly, with a manly look on his face._ + + _LUCY comes up from the garden. She is dressed in white with a + garden hat, a garden basket filled with flowers in one hand, long + scissors in the other. She is JOHN'S wife, the mistress of the + house, sister-in-law to JEAN; conspicuously a "sweet" woman, + affectedly so, a contrast with JEAN'S more modern, less delicate + charm. JEAN is frank and brave, LUCY indirect and timid, pretty + but fading, forty but fighting it._ + + +JEAN + +[_laughing_] + +It's all right, Lucy--we're engaged! + + +LUCY + +Well, I should hope so! + + [_Shoots a look at JEAN, "So?"_ + + +REX + +[_recovering himself_] + +I have often tried to thank you and good old John for letting me come +over here so much, but now! How can I _ever_ thank you? See-what-I-mean? + + +LUCY + +I'll tell you how. Behave yourself after you are married to John's +little sister. + + +JEAN + +Rex, have you had a fearful past? How fascinating! + + +REX + +I'm going to have a glorious future, all right. + + +JEAN + +Not unless you do as I tell you. Going to obey me, Rex? + + +REX + +You bet I am. + + +JEAN + +Then begin now. Go!... Get out! [_She pushes REX, laughing and +protesting, toward the garden._] I want to tell Lucy how nice you are. +Run along over to the golf club, and by and by--if you _are_ a good +boy--you can take me out in your new car. [_REX kisses the hand on his +arm and leaves, laughing._] My dear, he has five cars! Thank you so +much. + + [_Alone, they throw off the mask worn before men._ + + +LUCY + +Now, deary, tell me all about it. How did it happen? + + +JEAN + +Oh, I simply followed your advice. + + +LUCY + +Picked a quarrel with him? + + +JEAN + +[_laughing_] + +Yes. I pretended to believe in woman suffrage! + + +LUCY + +Good! They hate that. + + +JEAN + +I told him all men were bullying brutes! + + +LUCY + +They are! And then you ran away? + + +JEAN + +Of course. + + +LUCY + +And he after you? + + +JEAN + +Of course. + + +LUCY + +And you let him catch you? + + +JEAN + +Of cour--well ... he caught me. + + [_They both laugh._ + + +LUCY + +I can guess the rest. + + +JEAN + +Why, it didn't take five minutes. + + +LUCY + +And now it's to last through all eternity.... Isn't love wonderful? + + +JEAN + +Um-hum. Wonderful. + + [_They begin to cull out the flowers._ + + +LUCY + +But you do love him, dear, don't you? + + +JEAN + +[_arranging flowers_] + +I did then. I don't now. Why is that, Lucy? + + +LUCY + +Oh, but you will learn to love him. [_Jean shrugs, drops flowers, and +turns away._] Now, now! no worrying--it brings wrinkles! [_Patting +Jean's shoulder._] Rex is just the sort to give the woman he adores +everything in the world. + + +JEAN + +[_wriggling out of LUCY'S embrace_] + +I am not the woman he adores. + + +LUCY + +Why, Jean! He's engaged to you. + + +JEAN + +But he's in love with my sister. You know that as well as I do. + + +LUCY + +[_uncomfortably_] + +Oh, well, he was once, but not now. Men admire these independent women, +but they don't marry them. Nobody wants to marry a sexless freak with a +scientific degree. + + +JEAN + +Oh, what's the use, Lucy? He's still wild about Helen, and she still +laughs at him. So you and John have trotted out the little sister. Why +not be honest about it. + + +LUCY + +Well, I may be old-fashioned, but I don't think it's nice to talk this +way when you're just engaged. + + +JEAN + +Here comes your "sexless freak"--not with a degree, either. + + +LUCY + +[_following JEAN'S gaze_] + +With a man! + + +JEAN + +[_smiling_] + +With _my_ man. + + [_HELEN, with REX bending toward her eagerly, appears. She is a + beautiful woman of twenty-nine, tall, strong, glorious--plenty of + old-fashioned charm, despite her new-fashioned ideas. She is + dressed in a tennis costume and is swinging a racquet._ + + +REX + +But they told me you were going to stay abroad all winter. + + +HELEN + +My work, Rex--I had to get back to work. + + +REX + +Work!... You are too good to work. + + +JEAN + +[_amused, not jealous_] + +Is this your high-powered car, Rex? Have you learned to run it yet? + + +REX + +[_startled_] + +But ... well ... you see, I met Helen on the way. See-what-I-mean? + + +JEAN + +[_laughing_] + +Oh, we see. + + +REX + +But I hadn't seen her for so long. I thought--[_Looks from HELEN to +JEAN_] ... wait, I'll get the car. + + [_He hurries off._ + + +LUCY + +[_to JEAN_] + +Why couldn't she have stayed abroad! + + +JEAN + +Helen, don't talk about your work before Lucy--it shocks her. + + +HELEN + +Oh, very well; make it my 'career'! + + +JEAN + +[_arm around HELEN_] + +Sssh!--that's worse. + + +LUCY + +Helen, dear, I deem it my duty to tell you that you are being talked +about. + + +HELEN + +Lucy, dear, do you always find your true happiness in duty? + + +LUCY + +Well, if you think you are going back to that horrid place again ... +after what happened that night? John won't hear of it. + + +HELEN + +If the Baker Institute of Medical Experiment is not a respectable place +you should make John resign as trustee. + + [_She laughs it off._ + + +LUCY + +John is trustee of--oh, nearly everything. That makes it all the worse. +It isn't as if you had to work. + + +HELEN + +Oh, but John is so rich now, his credit can stand it. And you oughtn't +to mind! Why, some of our most fashionable families now contain freaks +like me. It's becoming quite smart, just as in former days one of the +sons would go into the Church or the navy. + + +LUCY + +Well, of course, I am old-fashioned, but going down-town every day with +the men,--it seems so unwomanly. + + +HELEN + +But wasn't I womanly for years? Instead of going down-town and working +with highbrows, I stayed up-town and played with lowbrows--until I was +bored to death. + + +LUCY + +[_sighs_] + +Yes, that's what comes of going to college, leaving the home, getting +these new ideas. All the same, Helen, the men, really nice men, don't +like it. + + +HELEN + +Well, you see, I don't like really nice men, so that makes it agreeable +all around. + + +LUCY + +If it were only art or music or something feminine, but that awful +laboratory! How can a lady poison poor, innocent little monkeys? + + +HELEN + +If I were a lady I'd _dine_ with monkeys.... Do you know what the word +means, Lucy? In Anglo-Saxon times "lady" meant "one who gives loaves"; +now, one who _takes_ a loaf. + + +LUCY + +Very clever, my dear, but some day you'll be sorry. No man, Helen, likes +a woman to have independent views. + + +JEAN + +Helen can afford to have independent views; she has an independent +income--she earns it. + + +LUCY + +Independent income! Her salary wouldn't pay for your hats. + + +JEAN + +All the same, I wish I had gone to college; I wish I had learned a +profession. + + +LUCY + +What have these New Women accomplished? Just one thing: they are +destroying chivalry! + + +HELEN + +Not entirely, Lucy, not entirely. For instance, I am the best assistant +Ernest Hamilton has, but the worst paid; the others are all men. Hurray +for chivalry! + + +LUCY + +Well, I'm just an old-fashioned wife. Woman's sphere is the home. My +husband says so. + + +HELEN + +But suppose you haven't any husband! What can a spinster do in the home? + + +LUCY + +_Stay_ in it--till she gets one! That's what the old-fashioned spinster +used to do. + + +HELEN + +The old-fashioned spinster used to spin. + + +LUCY + +At any rate, the old-fashioned spinster did not stay out of her home all +night and get herself compromised, talked about, sent abroad! Or, if she +did, she knew enough to remain abroad until the gossip blew over. + + [_Lucy turns to leave._ + + +HELEN + +[_mischievously_] + +Ah, that wonderful night! [_LUCY turns back, amazed._] The night we +discovered the Hamilton antitoxin, the night that made the Baker +Institute famous! And, just think, I had a hand in it, Lucy, a hand in +the unwomanly work of saving children's lives! But, of course, an +old-fashioned spinster would have blushed and said: "Excuse me, Doctor +Hamilton, but we must now let a year's work go to waste because you are +a man and I am a woman, and it's dark outdoors!" ... That's the way to +preserve true chivalry. + + +LUCY + +You think we can't see through all this? Science--fiddlesticks! The +good-looking young scientist--that's why you couldn't stay abroad. We +see it, John sees it, and now every one will see it. Then how will you +feel? + + +HELEN + +Ernest _is_ rather good-looking, isn't he? + + +LUCY + +Do you think your brother will let you marry a mere scientist!... Oh, +well, Doctor Hamilton is in love with his work--fortunately.... Besides, +he's a thoroughbred; he wouldn't even look at a girl who throws herself +at his head. + + +HELEN + +So I needn't try any longer? Too bad. + + +LUCY + +[_losing her temper and going_] + +Oh, you New Women are quite superior, aren't you?... Thank heavens, +little Jean didn't elbow _her_ way into men's affairs; she had no +unwomanly ambitions for a career! But she is engaged to Rex Baker! + + +HELEN + +Jean, is this true? + + +LUCY + +[_triumphantly_] + +_Marriage_ is woman's only true career. + + +HELEN + +Jean! You can't, you won't, you mustn't marry Rex! + + +LUCY + +[_flouncing out_] + +"She who will not when she may," my dear! + + +JEAN + +[_avoiding HELEN'S eyes_] + +Lucy hears John coming--he'd take her head off if she weren't there to +meet him. [_HELEN only looks at her._] He bullies and browbeats her +worse than ever. I can't stand it here much longer. It's getting on my +nerves. + + +HELEN + +Jean! You care for Rex no more than I do. + + +JEAN + +[_still evasive_] + +John's bringing out Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore. My dear, the +whole family is up in the air about you. + + +HELEN + +Oh, I can take care of myself, but you!... Jean, you're not the sort to +marry Rex or any other man, unless you simply can't live without him. + + +JEAN + +[_after a little pause_] + +Well ... how can I live without him--without some man? You can support +yourself. I can't. + + +HELEN + +But you wouldn't live on a man you didn't really love! + + +JEAN + +Why not? Lucy does; most wives live on men they don't really love. To +stop doing so and get divorced is wrong, you know. + + +HELEN + +Jean, Jean, poor little Jean! + + +JEAN + +Well, I'd rather have domestic unhappiness of my own than watch other +people's all my life. + + +HELEN + +I don't like to hurt you, dear, but--[_Takes JEAN'S face and raises +it._] How about that nice boy at the Harvard Law School? + + +JEAN + +Don't! [_Controls herself, then, in a low voice_] Bob is _still_ at the +Law School, Helen. + + +HELEN + +Can't you wait, dear? + + +JEAN + +He never asked me to, Helen. + + +HELEN + +He would, if you let him. + + +JEAN + +It wouldn't be fair. It takes so long to get started. Everything costs +so much. Why, nowadays, men in the professions, unless they have private +means, can't marry until nearly _forty_. When Bob is forty I'll be +forty, Helen. + + +HELEN + +Ah, but when a girl really cares! + + +JEAN + +Helen, do _you_ know? + + +HELEN + +Never mind about me--you! + + +JEAN + +Oh, we'll get over it, I suppose.... People do! Some day, perhaps, +he'll smile and say: "Just think, I once loved _that_ fat old thing!" +[_Suddenly changes to sobbing._] Helen! when Rex caught me and kissed +me I shut my eyes and tried to think it was Bob. + + +HELEN + +[_takes JEAN in her arms_] + +You can't keep on thinking so, dear. + + +JEAN + +But that isn't the worst! When he held me fast and I couldn't get away, +I began ... to forget Bob ... to forget everything ... [_Breaks off, +overcome with shame._] But not now, not now! It's not the same thing at +all. [_Buries face in HELEN'S breast and sobs it out._] Oh, I feel like +the devil, dear.... And all this time he doesn't really want me--he +wants you, you! I trapped him into it; I trapped him! + + +HELEN + +And I know Rex--he's a good sport; he'll stick to it, if you do, +dear--only you won't! You've caught him by playing on his worst--don't +hold him by playing on his best! + + +JEAN + +But what shall I do? I'm nearly twenty-six. I've got to escape from home +in some way. + + +HELEN + +But what a way! + + [_REX returns._ + + +REX + +Ready, Jean? [_To HELEN._] Lucy and John and your Cousin Theodore are in +there having a fine, old-fashioned family fight with the judge. + + +HELEN + +With Uncle Everett? What about? + + +REX + +They shut up when they saw me. All I heard was the parson--"Marriage is +a social institution." Grand old row, though. [_A BUTLER and FOOTMAN +appear, wheeling a tea-wagon._] Looks as if they were coming out here. + + +HELEN + +Then I am going in. [_Detaining JEAN._] You will follow my advice? + + +JEAN + +[_apart to HELEN_] + +Oh, I don't know. Soon or late I must follow the only profession I have +learned. + + [_JEAN leaves with REX. HELEN watches them, sighs, and goes in. + The SERVANTS arrange the tea-table and go into the house._ + + _LUCY comes out, followed by her husband, JOHN, and the JUDGE, who + is UNCLE EVERETT, and COUSIN THEODORE._ + + _JOHN, the masterful type of successful American business man; + well set up, close-cropped mustache, inclined to baldness; keen + eye, vibrant voice, quick movements, quick decisions, quick + temper._ + + _UNCLE EVERETT is a genial satirist with a cynical tolerance of + the ways of the world, which he understands, laughs at, and rather + likes._ + + _COUSIN THEODORE, a care-worn rector, who, though he buttons his + collar behind, likes those who don't; a noble soul, + self-sacrificing and sanctified, but he does not obtrude his + profession upon others--never talks shop unless asked to do so, + and prides himself upon not being a bigot._ + + _They are continuing an earnest discussion, with the intimate + manner of friendly members of the same family. JOHN, LUCY, and + THEODORE deeply concerned; UNCLE EVERETT detached and amused._ + + +THEODORE + +But, Uncle Everett, hasn't Aunt Julia always been a good wife to you? + + +JUDGE + +Quite so, quite so, a good wife, Theodore, a good wife. + + +LUCY + +And a _devoted_ mother to your children, Uncle Everett? + + +JUDGE + +Devoted, Lucy, devoted. + + +JOHN + +She has always obeyed you, Uncle Everett. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, John--a true, old-fashioned woman. + + +THEODORE + +She has been a great help to me in the parish work, Uncle Everett. + + +JUDGE + +An earnest worker in the vineyard, Theodore--in fact, I might say, a +model female. + + +ALL + +Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce? + + +JUDGE + +Because, damn it, I don't like her! + + +LUCY + +But think of poor Aunt Julia! + + +JUDGE + +But, damn it, she doesn't like _me_. + + +THEODORE + +[_wagging head sadly_] + +Ah, yes, I suppose there has been fault on both sides. + + +JUDGE + +Not at all! No fault on either side.... Both patterns of Christian +fortitude to the end! We still are. Just listen to this telegram. + + +LUCY + +[_puzzled_] + +From Aunt Julia? + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + ALL: Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce? + JUDGE: Because, damn it, I don't like her.] + + +JUDGE + +Yes from Aunt Julia in Reno. Not used to travelling without me; knew I'd +worry. Thoughtful of her, wasn't it? [_Puts on glasses._] A night +letter. Much cheaper; your Aunt Julia was always a frugal wife. Besides, +she never could keep within ten words. [_Reads._] "Arrived safely. +Charming rooms with plenty of air and sunlight. Our case docketed for +March 15th. Wish you were here to see the women in Divorcee +Row--overdressed and underbred." Rather neat, eh? "Overdressed and +underbred." "I should love to hear _your_ comments on the various +types." Now, isn't that sweet of her? Well, you know, I always _could_ +make her laugh--except when I made her cry. "Write soon. With love. +Julia." Now [_folds telegram_], isn't that a nice message? From a wife +suing for divorce? You happily married people couldn't beat that. + + [_Pats telegram and pockets it tenderly._ + + +JOHN + +[_like a practical business man_] + +But if there's no other woman, no other man--what's it all about? + + +JUDGE + +She likes her beefsteak well done; I like mine underdone. She likes one +window open--about so much [_indicates four inches_]; I like all the +windows open wide! She likes to stay at home; I like to travel. She +loves the opera and hates the theatre; I love the theatre and hate the +opera. + + +THEODORE + +Stop! aren't you willing to make a few little sacrifices for each other? +Haven't you character enough for that? + + +JUDGE + +We've been making sacrifices for twenty-five years, a quarter of a +century! Character enough to last us now.... Why, I remember the first +dinner we had together after we were pronounced man and wife, with a +full choral service and a great many expensive flowers--quite a smart +wedding, Lucy, for those simple days. "Darling," I asked my blushing +bride, "do you like tutti-frutti ice-cream?" "I adore it, dearest," she +murmured. I hated it, but nobly sacrificed myself and gave her +tutti-frutti and gained character every evening of our honeymoon! Then +when we got back and began our "new life" together in our "little home," +my darling gave _me_ tutti-frutti and indigestion _once a week_ until I +nearly died! + + +LUCY + +But why didn't you tell her? + + +JUDGE + +I did; I did. Got chronic dyspepsia and struck! "_You_ may adore this +stuff, _darling_," I said, "but I hate it." "So do I, dearest," says +she. "Then why in thunder have you had it all these years, +_sweetheart_?" "For your sake, _beloved_!" And that tells the whole +story of our married life. We have nothing in common but a love of +divorce and a mutual abhorrence of tutti-frutti. "Two souls with but a +single thought, two hearts that beat as one!" It has been the dream of +our lives to get apart, and each has nobly refrained for the other's +sake. And all in vain! + + +JOHN + +Bah! All a cloak to hide his real motive. And he knows it! + + +JUDGE + +[_after a painful pause_] + +I may as well confess. [_Looks around to see if overheard. Whispers._] +For over twenty years I--I have broken my marriage vow! [_LUCY drops her +eyes. THEODORE aghast. JOHN wags head._] So has your Aunt Julia! + + +THEODORE + +No! not that! + + +JUDGE + +Well, we solemnly promised to love each other until death did us part. +We have broken that sacred vow! I don't love _her_; she doesn't love +_me_--not in the least! + + +JOHN + +Rot! A matured, middle-aged man, a distinguished member of the +bar--break up his home for that? Damned rot! + + +JUDGE + +Right again, John. That's not why I'm breaking up my home. I prefer my +club. What does the modern home amount to? Merely a place to leave your +wife. + + +LUCY + +Of course, it doesn't matter about the poor little wife left at home. + + +JUDGE + +Wrong, Lucy, it does matter. That's why I _stayed_ at home and was bored +to death with her prattle about clothes and the opera, instead of dining +at the club with my intellectual equals, picking up business there, +getting rich like John, supplying her with _more_ clothes and a whole +_box_ at the opera, like yours, Lucy. + + +LUCY + +[_shoots a glance at her husband_] + +Oh, that's the way you men _always_ talk. It never occurs to you that +business, business, _business_ is _just_ as much of a bore to us! + + +JUDGE + +Wrong again! It did occur to _me_--hence the divorce! She couldn't stand +seeing _me_ bored; I couldn't stand seeing _her_ bored. Once we could +deceive each other; but now--too well acquainted; our happy home--a +hollow mockery! + + +THEODORE + +You ought to be ashamed! I love my home! + + +JOHN + +So do I. + + [_He glances sternly at LUCY._ + + +LUCY + +[_nervously_] + +So do I. + + +JUDGE + +All right. Stick to it, if you love it. Only, don't claim credit for +doing what you enjoy. I stuck to my home for a quarter of a century and +disliked it the whole time. At last I'm free to say so. Just think of +it, Lucy, free to utter those things about marriage we all know are true +but don't dare say! Free to be honest, John! No longer a hypocrite, no +longer a liar! A soul set free, Theodore--two souls, in fact. "Two souls +with but a single thought----" + + +THEODORE + +Stop! You have _children_ to consider, not merely your own selfish +happiness! + + +LUCY + +Yes, think of Tom and little Julia! + + +JUDGE + +We did ... for a quarter of a century--sacrificed everything to them, +even our self-respect; but now--what's the use? We are childless now. +Tom and Julia have both left us for "little homes" of their own to love. + + +THEODORE + +Ah, but don't you want them to have the old home to come back to? + + +JUDGE + +"No place like home" for children, eh? You're right--can't have too much +of it. Most children only have _one_ home. Ours will have _two_! When +they get bored with one they can try the other. + + +THEODORE + +But, seriously, Uncle Everett--"Whom God hath joined together!" + + +LUCY + +[_clasping JOHN'S arm_] + +Yes, Uncle Everett, marriages are made in heaven. + + +JUDGE + +I see; quite so; but your Aunt Julia and I were joined together by a +pink parasol made in Paris. + + +JOHN + +What rot! Stop your fooling and speak the truth, man. + + +JUDGE + +Just what I'm doing--that's why you think I'm fooling. A very pretty +parasol--but it wasn't made in heaven. You see, God made poor, dear +Julia pale, but on that fatal day, twenty-five years ago, the pink +parasol, not God, made her rosy and irresistible. I did the rest--with +the aid of a clergyman, whom I tipped even more liberally than the +waiter who served us tutti-frutti. Blame _me_ for it, blame her, the +parasol, the parson, but do not, my dear Theodore, blame the Deity for +our own mistakes. It's so blasphemous. + + [_A pause. LUCY takes place at the tea-table to serve tea._ + + +LUCY + +And to think we invited _you_, of all people, here to-day of all days! +[_To JOHN._] We mustn't let Rex know. The Bakers don't believe in +divorce. + + +JOHN + +What's this? You don't mean that Jean----? + + +LUCY + +Yes! Just in time--before he knew Helen was back. + + +JOHN + +[_jumps up_] + +She's landed him! She's landed him! We're marrying into the Baker +family! The Baker family! [_Shaking hands right and left._] Why, she'll +have more money than any of us!... Well, well! We'll all have to stand +around before little Jean now!... My, my! Lucy, you're a wonder! Those +pearls--I'll buy them; they're yours! Hurray for Lucy! + + [_Kisses_ LUCY. + + +LUCY + +[_feeling her importance_] + +Now, if I could only get _Helen_ out of this awful mess and safely +married to some nice man! + + +JUDGE + +[_sipping his tea_] + +Meaning one having money? + + +THEODORE + +The Hamiltons are an older family than the Bakers, Lucy, older than our +own. + + +JUDGE + +Meaning they _once_ had money. + + +JOHN + +[_still pacing to and fro_] + +Waste a beauty on a bacteriologist? A crime! + + +THEODORE + +See here, John, Ernest Hamilton is the biggest thing you've got in the +Baker Institute! One of the loveliest fellows in the world, too, and if +you expect me--why did you ask us here, anyway? + + +JUDGE + +Far as I can make out, we're here to help one of John's sisters marry a +man she doesn't love and prevent the other from marrying the man she +does. + + +JOHN + +Oh, look here: I've nothing against young Hamilton.... I _like_ +him--proud of all he's done for the institute. Why, Mr. Baker is tickled +to death about the Hamilton antitoxin. But, Theodore, this is a +practical world. Your scientific friend gets just two thousand dollars a +year!... Lucy, send for Helen. + + [_LUCY goes obediently._ + + +JUDGE + +Well, why not give the young man a raise? + + +JOHN + +Oh, that's not a bad salary for scientists, college professors, and that +sort of thing. Why, even the head of the institute himself gets less +than the superintendent of my mills. No future in science. + + +JUDGE + +Perfectly practical, Theodore. The superintendent of John's mills saves +the company thousands of dollars. These bacteriologists merely save the +nation thousands of babies. All our laws, written and unwritten, value +private property above human life. I'm a distinguished jurist and I +always render my decisions accordingly. I'd be reversed by the United +States Supreme Court if I didn't. We're all rewarded in inverse ratio to +our usefulness to society, Theodore. That's why "practical men" think +changes are "dangerous." + + +JOHN + +Muck-raker! + + +JUDGE + +It's all on a sliding scale, John. For keeping up the cost of living you +and old man Baker get ... [_Stretches arms out full length._] Heaven +only knows how much. For saving the Constitution I get ... a good deal. +[_Hands three feet apart._] For saving in wages and operating expenses +your superintendent gets so much. [_Hands two feet apart._] For saving +human life Ernest Hamilton gets that. [_Hands six inches apart._] For +saving immortal souls Theodore gets--[_Holds up two forefingers an inch +apart._] Now, if any one came along and saved the world---- + + +THEODORE + +[_interrupts_] + +They crucified Him. + + +JOHN + +Muck-raker, muck-raker. + + +LUCY + +[_returning_] + +Tried my best, John, but Helen says she prefers to talk with you alone +some time. + + +JOHN + +[_furious_] + +She "prefers"? See here! Am I master in my own house or not? + + +JUDGE + +But Helen is a guest in it now. No longer under your control, John. +She's the New Woman. + + +THEODORE + +John, _you_ can't stop that girl's marrying Ernest, if she wants to; +he's head over heels in love with her. + + +LUCY + +What! We thought he was in love with his work! + + +THEODORE + +He thinks there's no hope for him, poor boy. + + +LUCY + +[_to JOHN_] + +And she is mad about him! + + +JOHN + +[_to LUCY_] + +And he is on the way out here now! + + +THEODORE + +What! He's coming to see her? + + +JOHN + +No, no, thinks she's still in Paris--so she was when I invited him, damn +it--but something had to be done and done delicately. That's why I +invited you two. + + +JUDGE + +[_bursts out laughing_] + +Beautiful! These lovers haven't met for a month, and to-night there's a +moon! + + +THEODORE + +[_also laughs_] + +You may as well give in, John. It's the simplest solution. + + +LUCY + +[_timidly_] + +Yes, John, she's nearly thirty, and think how she treats all the _nice_ +men. + + +JOHN + +Who's doing this? You go tell Helen ... that her Uncle Everett wants to +see her! + + [_Lucy shrugs, starts reluctantly, and lingers listening._ + + +THEODORE + +Now, uncle, you have more influence over her than any of us--don't let +her know about ... Aunt Julia. Helen thinks the world of you. + + +JUDGE + +Of course not, never let the rising generation suspect the truth about +marriage--if you want 'em to marry. + + +THEODORE + +There are other truths than unpleasant truths, Uncle Everett, other +marriages than unhappy marriages. + + +JUDGE + +Want me to tell her the truth about your marriage? + + +LUCY + +[_at the door_] + +Why uncle! Even _you_ must admit that Theodore and Mary are happy. + + [_JOHN is too much surprised to notice LUCY'S presence._ + + +JUDGE + +Happy? What's that got to do with it? Marriage is a social institution. +Theodore said so.... Every time a boy kisses a girl she should first +inquire: "A sacrifice for society?" And if he says, "I want to gain +character, sweetheart," then--"Darling, do your duty!" and he'll do it. + + +LUCY + +Well, Theodore has certainly done _his_ duty by society--six children! + + +JUDGE + +Then society hasn't done its duty by Theodore--only one salary! + + +JOHN + +The more credit to him! He and Mary have sacrificed everything to their +children and the Church--even health! + + +THEODORE + +We don't need your pity! We don't want your praise! Poverty, suffering, +even separation, have only drawn us closer together. We love each other +through it all! Why, in the last letter the doctor let her write she +said, she said--[_Suddenly overcome with emotion, turns abruptly._] If +you'll excuse me, Lucy ... Sanitarium ... the telephone. + + [_THEODORE goes into the house._ + + +JUDGE + +Not praise or pity but something more substantial and, by George, I'll +get it for them! + + [_Turns to JOHN, who interrupts._ + + +JOHN + +See the example _he_ sets to society--I honor him for it. + + +JUDGE + +Fine! but that doesn't seem to restore Mary's radiant health, Theodore's +brilliant youth. + + +LUCY + +Ah, but they have their _children_--think how they adore those beautiful +children! + + +JUDGE + +No, don't think how they adore them, think how they _rear_ those +beautiful children--in the streets; one little daughter dead from +contagion; one son going to the devil from other things picked up in the +street! If marriage is a social institution, look at it socially. Why, a +marriage like mine is worth a dozen like theirs--to Society. Look at my +well-launched children; look at my useful career, as a jackal to Big +Business; look at my now perfectly contented spouse! + + +LUCY + +But if you are divorced! + + +JUDGE + +Is the object of marriage merely to stay married? + + +LUCY + +But character, think of the character they have gained. + + +JUDGE + +Oh, is it to gain character at the expense of helpless offspring? +Society doesn't gain by that--it loses, Lucy, it loses.... But simply +because, God bless 'em, "they love each other through it all," you +sentimental standpatters believe in lying about it, do you? + + +JOHN + +[_bored, whips out pocket check-book and fountain pen_] + +Oh, talk, talk, talk! Money talks for _me_.... But they're both so +confoundedly proud! + + +JUDGE + +Go on, write that check! [_JOHN writes._] They must sacrifice their +pride, John. Nothing else left to sacrifice, I'm afraid. + + +JOHN + +Well, you get this to them somehow. + + [_Hands check to JUDGE._ + + +JUDGE + +Aha! Talk did it.... Five thousand? Generous John! + + +JOHN + +[_impatiently_] + +Never mind about me. _That_ problem is all settled; now about Helen.... +Lucy! I thought I told you---- + + [_LUCY, in a guilty hurry, escapes into the house._ + + +JUDGE + +John, charity never settles problems; it perpetuates them. You can't +cure social defects by individual treatment. + + +JOHN + +[_more impatiently_] + +Does talk settle anything? + + +JUDGE + +Everything. We may even settle the marriage problem if we talk +_honestly_. [_THEODORE returns from telephoning to the sanitarium._] +Theodore, it's all right! John honestly believes in setting an example +to society! Crazy to have his sisters go and do likewise! + + +THEODORE + +Splendid, John! I knew you'd see it--an ideal match. + + +JUDGE + +[_overriding JOHN_] + +Right, Theodore, ideal. This scientific suitor will shower everything +upon her John honors and admires: A host of servants--I mean sacrifices; +carriages and motors--I mean character and morals; just what her brother +advocates in Sunday-school--for others. An ideal marriage. + + +JOHN + +[_hands in pockets_] + +You think you're awfully funny, don't you? Humph! I do more for the +Church, for education, art, science than all the rest of the family +combined. Incidentally, I'm not divorced.... But this is a practical +world, Theodore, I've got to protect my own. + + +LUCY + +[_returning_] + +Helen will be here in a minute. + + +JOHN + +[_suddenly getting an idea_] + +Ah! I have it! I know how to keep them apart! + + +THEODORE + +Be careful, John--these two love each other. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, young people still fall in love. Whether we make it hard or easy +for them--they _will_ do it. But, mark my words, unless we _reform +marriage_, there is going to be a sympathetic _strike_ against it--as +there is already against having children. Instead of making it harder to +get apart, we've got to make it easier to stay together. Otherwise the +ancient bluff will soon be called! + + +LUCY + +Sssh! Here she comes. + + +THEODORE + +_Please_ don't talk this way before her. + + +JUDGE + +All right, I'm not divorced yet,... still in the conspiracy of silence. + + [_HELEN appears at the door. A sudden silence._ + + +HELEN + +[_kissing THEODORE and JUDGE affectionately_] + +I'm _so_ sorry to hear about dear Mary. [_To JUDGE._] But why didn't +Aunt Julia come? Is she ill, too? + + [_Slight panic in the family party._ + + +JUDGE + +She's gone to Re-Re-Rio Janeiro--I mean to Santa Barbara--wants a +complete change--The Rest Cure. [_To THEODORE apart._] Lie number one. + + [_Another silence. LUCY makes tea for HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +[_taking the cup_] + +Well, go on! + + +THEODORE + +Go on with what? + + +HELEN + +[_stirring tea_] + +Your discussion of marriage. + + +LUCY + +How did you know? + + +HELEN + +Oh, it's in the air. Everybody's talking about it nowadays. + + [_She sips tea, and the others look conscious._ + + +THEODORE + +My dear, marriage is woman's only true career. + + +HELEN + +[_raising her shield of flippancy_] + +So Lucy tells me, Cousin Theodore. But a woman cannot pursue her career, +she must be pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly. + + +JUDGE + +Ahem. As we passed through the library a while ago, I think I saw your +little sister being pursued by her career. + + +HELEN + +Yes, uncle, but Jean is a true woman. I'm only a New Woman. + + +JUDGE + +All the same, you'll be an old woman some day--if you don't watch out. + + +HELEN + +Ah, yes, my life's a failure. I haven't trapped a man into a contract to +support me. + + +LUCY + +[_picks up knitting bag and does her best to look like "just an +old-fashioned wife"_] + +You ought to be ashamed! Making marriage so mercenary. Helen, dear, +haven't you New Women any sentiment? + + +HELEN + +Enough sentiment not to make a mercenary marriage, Lucy, dear. + + +JUDGE + +Ahem! And what kind of a marriage do you expect to make? + + +HELEN + +Not any, thank you, uncle. + + +JUDGE + +What! You don't believe in holy matrimony? + + +HELEN + +Only as a last extremity, uncle, like unholy divorce. + + +JUDGE + +[_jumps_] + +What do _you_ know about that? + + +HELEN + +I know all about it! [_Others jump._] I have been reading up on the +subject. + + [_All relax, relieved, but now gather about the young woman._ + + +THEODORE } + } +Come now, simply because many young people } +rush into marriage without thinking-- } + } + } +LUCY } [_Together_] + } +Simply because these New Women-- } + } + } +JOHN } + } +Simply because one marriage in a } +thousand ends in divorce-- } + + +HELEN + +Wait!... One in a thousand? Dear me, what an idealist you are, John! In +America, one marriage in every eleven now ends in divorce. And yet you +wonder why I hesitate. + + +JOHN + +One in eleven--rot! [_To JUDGE._] All this muck-raking should be +suppressed by the Government. "One in eleven!" Bah! + + +HELEN + +[_demurely_] + +The Government's own statistics, John. + + [_They all turn to the JUDGE for denial, but he nods confirmation, + with a complacent smile, murmuring: "Two souls with but a single + thought."_ + + +LUCY + +[_sweetly knitting_] + +Well, I may be old-fashioned, but it seems to _me_ that nice girls +shouldn't _think_ of such things.... Their husbands will tell them all +they ought to know about marriage--after they're married. + + +HELEN + +Ah, I see. Nice girls mustn't think until after they rush in, but they +mustn't rush in until after they think. You married people make it all +so simple for us. + + +JUDGE + +Right! The way to cure all evil is for nice people to close their minds +and mouths to it. It's "unpleasant" for a pure mind, and it "leaves a +bad taste in the mouth." So there you are, my dear. + + +JOHN + +[_coming in strong_] + +Oh, talk, talk, talk! I've had enough. See here, young lady, I offered +to pay all your expenses abroad for a year. You didn't seem to +appreciate it--well, the trustees of the institute are now to give +Doctor Hamilton a year abroad. How do you like that? + + [_All turn and look at HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +Splendid! Just what he needs! Doctor Metchnikoff told me in Paris that +America always kills its big men with routine. When do we start? + + [_She tries to look very businesslike._ + + +JOHN + +[_springing to his feet_] + +"We!" Do you think _you_ are going? + + +HELEN + +Of course! I'm his assistant--quite indispensable to him.... [_To all._] +Oh, well, if you don't believe me, ask him! + + +JOHN + +[_pacing to and fro_] + +What next! Paris! Alone, with a man!--Here's where I call a halt! + + +HELEN + +But if my work calls me, I don't really see what you have to say about +it, John. + + +JOHN + +Better not defy me, Helen. + + [_He scowls._ + + +HELEN + +Better not bully me, John. + + [_She smiles._ + + +JOHN + +I am your brother. + + +HELEN + +But not my owner! [_Then, instead of defiance, she turns with animated +interest to the others._] You know, all women used to be owned by men. +Formerly they ruled us by physical force--now by financial force.... But +at last they are to lose even _that_ hold upon us--poor dears! + + [_Pats JOHN'S shoulder playfully._ + + +JOHN + +[_amused, but serious_] + +That's all right in theory, but this is a practical world. My pull got +you into the institute; my pull can get you out. You give up this wild +idea or give up your job! + + +HELEN + +[_delighted_] + +What did I tell you? Financial force! They still try it, you see. [_To +JOHN._] What if I refused to give up either, John? + + +JOHN + +[_emphatic_] + +Then as a trustee of the institute I ask for your resignation--right +here and now! [_Turns away._] I guess _that_ will hold her at home a +while. + + +HELEN + +I simply _must_ go to Paris now. I've nothing else to do! + + +JOHN + +[_with a confident smile_] + +You will, eh? Who'll pay your expenses this time? + + +HELEN + +[_matter of fact_] + +Doctor Hamilton. + + +LUCY + +Helen! please! You oughtn't to say such things even in joke. + + +HELEN + +He'll take me along as his private secretary, if I ask him. + + [_A pause. The others look at one another helplessly._ + + +JUDGE + +John, she's got you. You might as well quit. + + +JOHN + +Nonsense. I have just begun. You'll see. + + +THEODORE + +If you're so independent, my dear, why don't you marry your scientist +and be done with it? + + +HELEN + +[_resents the intrusion but hides her feelings_] + +Can you keep a secret? [_They all seem to think they can and gather +near._] He has never asked me! + + [_The family seems annoyed._ + + +LUCY + +[_with match-making ardor_] + +No wonder, dear, he has never seen you except in that awful apron. But +those stunning dinner gowns John bought you in Paris! My dear, in +evening dress you are quite irresistible! + + +JUDGE + +[_apart to THEODORE_] + +Irresistible? Pink parasols. What a system! + + +HELEN + +But you see, I don't _want_ him to ask me. I've had all I could do to +keep him from it. + + [_The family seems perplexed._ + + +JOHN + +She's got _some_ sense left. + + +LUCY + +But suppose he did ask you, dear? + + +HELEN + +Why, I'd simply refer the matter to John, of course. If John said, "Love +him," I'd love him; if John said, "Don't love him," I'd turn it off like +electric light. + + [_The family is becoming exasperated._ + + +LUCY + +[_insinuating_] + +Oh, you can't deceive us. We know how much you admire him, Helen. + + +HELEN + +Oh, no you don't! [_The family is amazed._] Not even he does. Did you +ever hear how he risked his life in battle down in Cuba? Why, he's a +perfect hero of romance! + + +JOHN + +[_mutters_] + +Never even saw a war--mollycoddle germ killer! + + +HELEN + +Not in the war with Spain--the war against yellow fever, John.... No +drums to make him brave, no correspondents to make him famous--he merely +rolled up his sleeve and let an innocent-looking mosquito bite him. Then +took notes on his symptoms till he became delirious.... He happened to +be among those who recovered. + + [_The family is impressed._ + + +THEODORE + +Old-fashioned maidens used to marry their heroes, Helen. + + +HELEN + +[_arising, briskly_] + +But this new-fashioned hero gets only two thousand dollars a year, +Theodore. + + [_She turns to escape._ + + +JOHN + +[_nodding_] + +I told you she had sense. + + +THEODORE + +Helen! You selfish, too? Why, Mary and I married on half that, didn't +we, John? + + [_He looks around. The family looks away._ + + +HELEN + +[_with unintended emphasis_] + +Doctor Hamilton needs every cent of that enormous salary--books, travel, +scientific conferences--all the advantages he simply must have if he's +to keep at the top and do his best work for the world. The most selfish +thing a girl can do is to marry a poor man. + + [_With that she hurries up the steps._ + + +THEODORE + +[_following her_] + +All the same, deep down under it all, she has a true woman's yearning +for a home to care for and a mate to love. [_She is silently crying._] +Why, Helen, dear, what's the matter? + + +HELEN + +[_hiding her emotion_] + +Oh, why can't they let me _alone_! They make what ought to be the +holiest and most beautiful thing in life the most horrible and +dishonest. They make me hate marriage--hate it! + + [_Unseen by HELEN, the BUTLER steps out._ + + +THEODORE + +[_patting her shoulder_] + +Just you wait till the right one comes along. + + +BUTLER + +[_to LUCY_] + +Doctor Hamilton has come, ma'am. + + +HELEN + +[_with an old-fashioned gasp_] + +Good heavens! + + [_And runs to the family._ + + +LUCY + +Show Doctor Hamilton out. + + [_The BUTLER goes._ + + +HELEN + +A plot to entrap him! [_Running to and fro wildly._] But it's no use! +I'm going ... until he's gone! + + [_HELEN runs into the garden._ + + +JUDGE + +Fighting hard, poor child. + + +THEODORE + +But what'll we do? + + +JUDGE + +Don't worry--she can't stay away--the sweet thing! + + +JOHN + +Now listen, we must all jolly him up--he'll be shy in these +surroundings. + + +JUDGE + +Going to surrender, John? + + +JOHN + +What I am going to do requires finesse. + + +LUCY + +[_in a flutter, seeing HAMILTON approach_] + +Oh, dear! how does one talk to highbrows? + + +JUDGE + +Talk to him about himself! Highbrows, lowbrows, all men love it. + + [_ERNEST HAMILTON, discoverer of the Hamilton antitoxin, is a + fine-looking fellow of about thirty-five, without the spectacles + or absent-mindedness somehow expected of scientific genius. He + talks little but very rapidly and sees everything. It does not + occur to him to be shy or embarrassed "in these surroundings"--not + because he is habituated to so much luxury, on three thousand a + year, nor because he despises it; he likes it; but he likes other + things even more. That is why he works for two thousand a year, + instead of working for fat, fashionable fees in private practice._ + + _JOHN meets his distinguished guest at the door--effusively, yet + with that smiling condescension which wealthy trustees sometimes + show to "scientists, college professors, and that sort of thing."_ + + +JOHN + +Ah, Doctor Hamilton! Delighted to see you on my little farm at last. Out +here I'm just a plain, old-fashioned farmer. + + [_ERNEST glances about at the magnificence and smiles + imperceptibly. He makes no audible replies to the glad welcome, + but bows urbanely, master of himself and the situation._ + + +LUCY + +Doctor Hamilton! So good of you to come. + + +THEODORE + +How are you, Ernest? Glad to see you. + + +LUCY + +I don't think you've met our uncle, Judge Grey. + + +JUDGE + +[_humorously adopting their manner_] + +Charmed! I've heard so much about you!--from my niece. + + +LUCY + +[_to ERNEST'S rescue, like a tactful hostess_] + +A cup of tea, Doctor Hamilton? + + +ERNEST + +[_unperturbed by the reference to HELEN_] + +Thanks. + + +JOHN + +[_while LUCY makes tea. Trustee manner_] + +I have often desired to express my admiration of your heroism in the war +against yellow fever in er--ah--_Cuba_, when you let an innocent-looking +mosquito bite you---- + + +LUCY + +[_nodding and poising sugar-tongs_] + +And then took notes on your symptoms till you became delirious! + + +ERNEST + +No sugar, thanks. + + [_He looks from one to another with considerable interest._ + + +JUDGE + +No drums to make you famous, no war correspondents to make you brave--I +mean the other way round. + + +ERNEST + +[_to LUCY poising cream pitcher_] + +No cream, please. + + +JOHN + +Senator Root says this one triumph alone saves _twenty million dollars +a year_ to the business interests of the United States! I call that true +patriotism. + + +ERNEST + +[_with a nod of assent to LUCY_] + +Lemon. + + +THEODORE + +[_with sincerity_] + +General Wood says it saves more _human lives_ a year than were lost in +the whole Spanish War! I call it service. + + +JUDGE + +Colonel Goethals says the Panama Canal could not have been built if it +hadn't been for you self-sacrificing scientists. Not only that, but you +have abolished forever from the United States a scourge which for more +than a century had through periodic outbreaks spread terror, +devastation, and death. + + [_A pause._ + + +ERNEST + +[_bored, but trying to hide it_] + +The ones who deserve your praise are the four who died to prove that +theory.... [_He smiles._] Of course, you all know their names.... [_He +looks at JOHN, who looks at JUDGE, who looks at LUCY, who looks at +THEODORE. He takes up his cup._] Delicious tea. + + +THEODORE + +Ah, but they didn't do it for fame, for money--that's the beauty of the +sacrifice. + + +ERNEST + +[_with a smile_] + +Quite so.... That's what Congress told us when we suggested a pension +for the widow of the first victim. + + +ALL + +What! Did Congress refuse the pension? + + +ERNEST + +[_finishes his tea_] + +They finally voted the sum of seventeen dollars a month for the widow +and no less than two dollars a month extra for each of his children.... + + +LUCY + +Is that all? + + +ERNEST + +No.... We pestered Congress to death until, a few years ago, they +replaced the pension with an annuity of one hundred and twenty-five +dollars a month--though some of them said it was a very bad precedent to +establish. [_Returns cup to LUCY._] No more, thanks, delicious. + + [_And turns to admire the wide-sweeping view of the farm, hands in + pockets._ + + +JOHN + +[_after a pause_] + +Well, I think our scientists might well be called philanthropists. + + +ERNEST + +Hardly! You see, every one _knows_ the names of philanthropists.... +Better let it go at "scientists." + + +JUDGE + +He's right. Philanthropists don't give their lives, they give their +names--have 'em carved in stone over their institutes and libraries. + + [_JOHN approaches and joins his guest._ + + +ERNEST + +Charming little farm you have here. + + +JOHN + +Doctor Hamilton, America kills its big men with routine. You are too +valuable to the nation to lose--the trustees think you need a year +abroad. + + +ERNEST + +That's strange, I came out here to suggest that very thing.... Somebody +has been saying kind things about me in Paris. Just had a letter from +the great Metchnikoff--wants me to come over and work in the Pasteur! +Chance of a lifetime!... You didn't have to jolly me up to consent to +that! + + +JOHN + +[_pacing terrace with his guest, arm in arm_] + +By the by, my sister is rather keen on science. + + +ERNEST + +Best assistant I ever had. You can pile an awful lot of routine on a +woman. The female of the species is more faithful than the male.... +She's over there already. We can get right to work. + + +JOHN + +She'll be back before you start. + + +ERNEST + +[_stops short_] + +I didn't know that.... Well, what is it? + + [_JOHN hesitates, turns to the family, all watching with breathless + interest._ + + +THEODORE + +Don't you see, old chap, under the circumstances it would hardly do for +her to go back to Paris with you. + + +ERNEST + +Why not? + + +LUCY + +You're a man. + + +ERNEST + +[_smiling_] + +You mean I'm dangerous? + + +LUCY + +But she's a woman. + + +JUDGE + +They mean _she's_ dangerous. + + +JOHN + +My dear fellow, we are going to ask you quite frankly to decline to take +her. + + +ERNEST + +[_looks about at the circle of anxious faces. He wont let them read +him_] + +So that's it, eh?... But it's the chance of a lifetime for her, too. She +needs it more than I do. She's had so little chance to do original work. + + +JOHN + +But she's a woman. + + +ERNEST + +Just what has that to do with it? + + +JOHN + +Everything. We have the highest respect for you, Doctor Hamilton, but +also ... one must respect the opinions of the world, you know. + + +ERNEST + +[_thinks it over_] + +That's right. One must. I forgot to think of that.... It's curious, but +when working with women of ability one learns to respect them so much +that one quite loses the habit of insulting them. Too bad how new +conditions spoil fine old customs.... Suppose you let her go and let me +stay. I can find plenty to do here, I fancy. + + +JOHN + +I fear it would offend our generous benefactor, Mr. Baker. He has set +his heart on your going abroad, meeting other big men, getting new ideas +for our great humanitarian work. [_The family exchange glances while +JOHN lies on._] Besides, my sister would only go to accommodate you. She +particularly desires to stay here this winter. That's why she is +returning so soon, you see. + + +ERNEST + +[_believes it_] + +Oh, I see.... I'm sure I have no desire to _drag_ her over with me.... +[_Smiles at himself._] I rather thought the opportunity to continue our +experiments together ... but that's all right. + + +JOHN + +Then it's all settled--you agree to go alone? + + +ERNEST + +[_a slight pause_] + +Yes, alone. It's quite settled. + + +JOHN + +How soon could you start? + + +ERNEST + +[_absently_] + +How soon? Why, just as soon as I get some one to run my department. + + +JOHN + +Could my sister run it? + + +ERNEST + +[_smiles_] + +Could she run it? It can't run without her! She's as systematic as [_to +LUCY_]--as a good housekeeper. + + +JOHN + +[_with a satisfied look at the others_] + +Then _that's_ all fixed! She'll stay when I tell her that you want her +to. Could you arrange to start at once? + + +ERNEST + +[_hesitates_] + +By leaving here to-night, I could. + + +JOHN + +[_with a triumphant look at the family_] + +Then I'll telephone for your passage--I have a pull with all the +steamship lines. [_Going._] Of course I hate to cut short your week-end, +but I don't want to spoil any scientific careers. + + [_JOHN hurries in to telephone. ERNEST starts too, as if to stop + him but restrains the impulse. He stands alone by the door gazing + out over the landscape while LUCY, THEODORE, and the JUDGE discuss + him in low tones by the tea-table._ + + +LUCY + +Can't you see, you stupid men! He's crazy about her--but thinks there's +no hope. + + +THEODORE + +When she finds he's leaving for a year ... she'll change her mind about +marriage! + + [_ERNEST comes back to earth and to the house-party._ + + +JUDGE + +[_to ERNEST, joining them_] + +Ahem! We were just discussing the marriage danger--I mean the marriage +problem. + + +ERNEST + +[_with a smile_] + +Go right on--don't mind me. + + +THEODORE + +[_old-friend manner_] + +See here! When are _you_ ever going to marry? + + +ERNEST + +[_modern bachelor's laugh_] + +When am I ever going to get more than two thousand a year? + + +THEODORE + +Bah! what has money got to do with it! Just you wait till the right one +comes along. + + [_HELEN comes along, stealing up the steps from the garden on + tiptoe with the grave, absorbed look of a hunter stalking game. + She catches sight of the man she wants and stops short, as + motionless as if frozen. But not so! Her lovely hands were + poised; one of them now goes to her bosom and presses there. + There is nothing icy about this New Woman now._ + + +ERNEST + +[_as unconscious of danger as a mountain-lion on an inaccessible height, +smiles easily at his sentimental old friend THEODORE_] + +How do you know "the right one" hasn't come already? + + [_THEODORE catches sight of HELEN. She shakes her head in silent + pleading, taps a finger on her lips, and in a panic flees + noiselessly across toward the door._ + + +THEODORE + +[_suppressing a laugh_] + +Then don't let her go by! + + [_HELEN stops at the door and makes a face at THEODORE._ + + +ERNEST + +[_affecting indifference_] + +Oh, I couldn't stop her, even if I wanted to. + + +THEODORE + +[_turning to wink at HELEN_] + +How do you know? Did you ever ask her? + + +ERNEST + +To marry me? Oh, no! She hasn't any money. + + +THEODORE + +[_HELEN is dumfounded_] + +Money! You wouldn't marry for money! + + [_HELEN draws near to hear the answer._ + + +ERNEST + +You don't suppose I'd marry a woman who hadn't any? Most selfish thing +a poor man can do. + + [_HELEN is interested._ + + +THEODORE + +Oh, fiddlesticks! You modern young people-- + + +ERNEST + +[_interrupts_] + +Make her a sort of superior servant in an inferior home--not that girl! + + [_HELEN is pleased._ + + +THEODORE + +Feministic nonsense! The old-fashioned womanly woman---- + + +ERNEST + +Sentimental twaddle! What makes it more "womanly" to do menial work +_for_ men than intellectual work with them? + + [_HELEN delighted, applauds noiselessly._ + + +THEODORE + +All the same, I'll bet you wouldn't let a little thing like that stand +in your way if you really cared for a woman enough to marry her. + + +ERNEST + +[_benign and secure_] + +But, as it happens, I don't. Nothing could induce me to marry. + + [_HELEN raises her chin, her eyes glitter dangerously._ + + +THEODORE + +So you are going to run away to Europe like a coward? + + +ERNEST + +[_smiles patronizingly_] + +Theodore, you are such an incorrigible idealist! I have nothing to be +afraid of--I simply do not care to _marry_! + + +HELEN + +That's just what _I_ said! + + [_All turn and behold HELEN._ + + +ERNEST + +My heavens! + + [_He steps back like a coward._ + + +HELEN + +But I agree with you perfectly. [_She holds out her hand to him._] I was +so afraid you believed in marriage. + + [_He rushes to her eagerly._ + + +JUDGE + +[_as the lovers shake hands_] + +You wronged him. Apologize. + + +ERNEST + +Why--why--all this time, I thought _you_ had the usual attitude. + + +JUDGE + +Wronged _her_. Both apologize. + + +HELEN + +Why didn't you ever tell me you had such enlightened views? + + +ERNEST + +Why didn't you ever tell me? + + +JUDGE + +Each understands the other now. Everything lovely! + + +HELEN + +Think of the discussions we might have had! + + +JUDGE + +Not too late yet. Julia and I had discussions for a quarter of a +century. + + +HELEN + +Don't think I had any hand in this. [_Laughs._] I was going to warn you, +but now--it is unnecessary now. + + +ERNEST + +Warn me? What do you mean? + + +HELEN + +Can't you see? It was all a plot! [_LUCY draws near noiselessly._] A +plot to entrap you in marriage! They had about given me up as a bad +job. _You_ were my last hope. They were going to throw me at your head. +[_Louder but without turning._] Weren't you, Lucy dear? + + +LUCY + +[_caught listening, turns abruptly to the others_] + +These New Women are utterly shameless. + + +HELEN + +[_to ERNEST_] + +These old-fashioned women are utterly shameless. After a decent +interval, they will all with one accord make excuses to leave us here +alone, so that I can--[_she comes nearer_] ensnare you! [_ERNEST laughs +nervously._] Lucy is going to say--[_imitates LUCY'S sweet tones_]: "If +you'll excuse me, I always take forty winks before dressing." Dressing +is the hardest work Lucy has to do. Cousin Theodore will find that he +_must_ write to his wife, and Uncle Everett will feel a yearning for the +billiard room. [_ERNEST is nodding and chuckling._] They're hanging on +longer than usual to-day, and I simply must have a talk with you. + + +ERNEST + +Our shop-talk would scandalize 'em! + + +HELEN + +Wait, I'll get rid of them! + + [_She sits and begins to make tea._ + + +ERNEST + +I've had my tea, thanks. + + +HELEN + +Stupid! Sit down. [_Indicates a chair close to hers. He takes it +cautiously._] We'll have a little fun with them in a minute. + + [_She is busy now making tea._ + + +THEODORE + +[_to LUCY and the JUDGE apart_] + +You may be right, Uncle Everett, but upon my word it is the strangest +courtship I ever witnessed. + + +LUCY + +They ought to be spanked. + + +JUDGE + +Don't worry, old Mother Nature will attend to that. + + +LUCY + +Well, I may be old-fashioned, but---- + + +JUDGE + +[_interrupting_] + +But this is merely a new fashion, my dear Lucy. Nature her ancient +custom holds, let science say what it will. + + +HELEN + +[_handing cup to ERNEST with a glance at the others_] + +Now, then, be attentive to me. [_He leans toward her rather shyly, +abashed by her nearness. She makes eyes at him reproachfully._] Oh, +can't you be more attentive than that? [_She acts like a coquette and he +looks into her beautiful eyes and while he is doing so she says with a +fascinating drawl_] Now tell me a-all about anterior poliomyelitis! + + +ERNEST + +[_suddenly taken aback, he laughs_] + +Nothing doing since you left. + + [_And bends close to explain._ + + +LUCY + +If you'll excuse me, Doctor Hamilton, I always take forty winks before +dressing. We dine at eight. + + [_Going, she signals to the others. ERNEST and HELEN exchange + smiles._ + + +THEODORE + +[_laughing, to LUCY_] + +Ss't! Don't tell John what's going on! Keep him busy telephoning. [_LUCY +nods excitedly and almost runs to obey the Church._] Helen, if you and +Ernest will excuse me, I really must write to Mary. + + [_Their shoulders are close together and they seem too absorbed + to reply. THEODORE smiles down upon them and signals the JUDGE to + come along. The JUDGE, however, shakes his head but waves THEODORE + into the house. Uncle Everett looks at the lovers with quizzical + interest. He draws near and eavesdrops shamelessly._ + + +HELEN + +You oughtn't to have dropped the polio experiments. + + +ERNEST + +You oughtn't to have dropped me--right in the _midst_ of the +experiments. Those agar plates you were incubating dried up and +spoiled. You played the very devil with my data. + + +JUDGE + +God bless my soul! what are we coming to? + + +HELEN + +[_without turning_] + +It's perfectly proper for your little ears, uncle, only you can't +understand a word of it. Won't _any_ one play billiards with you? + + +JUDGE + +But I'm fascinated. It's so idyllic. Makes me feel young again. + + +HELEN + +[_to ERNEST_] + +Oh, you have plenty of men assistants who can estimate antitoxin units. + + +ERNEST + +Men assistants lose interest. They are all so confoundedly ambitious to +do original work. Why is it women can stand day after day of monotonous +detail better than men? + + +HELEN + +Because men always made them tend the home! + + +JUDGE + +Ah, nothing like a good old-fashioned love scene--in the scientific +spirit. + + +HELEN + +Uncle, dear! _Can't_ you see that he is paying me wonderful compliments? +Haven't you any tact? Go and play Canfield in the library. + + +JUDGE + +[_lighting cigar_] + +Very well, I'll leave you to your own devices--and may God, _your_ God, +have mercy on your scientific souls. + + +HELEN + +[_with sudden animation and camaraderie, thinking they are alone_] + +Now I must tell you what Doctor Metchnikoff said about you and your +future! + + +JUDGE + +Sst! [_HELEN and ERNEST turn._] My children--[_Pause--raises his +hand._] Don't forget the scientific spirit! + + [_The JUDGE saunters off into the garden, smoking._ + + +ERNEST + +How did you ever meet Metchnikoff? + + +HELEN + +[_chaffing_] + +I had worked under Hamilton! They _all_ wanted to meet me. + + +ERNEST + +[_with an unmistakable look_] + +U'm ... was that why? [_Fleeing danger._] Didn't you let them know your +part in that discovery? Why, if it hadn't been for you, I should never +have stumbled upon the thing at all. + + +HELEN + +Oh, I know my place too well for that! Talk about _artistic_ +temperament, you scientists are worse than prima donnas. + + +ERNEST + +[_takes printers' proofs out of pocket, hands them to her in silence_] + +Some proofs of a monograph I was correcting on the train. Mind +hammering those loose sentences of mine into decent English? You can +write--I can't. + + +HELEN + +[_reading innocently_] + +"Recent Experiments in Anterior Poliomyelitis by Ernest Hamilton, M.D., +Ph.D., and Helen"--what! why, you've put _my_ name with yours! + + [_Much excited and delighted._ + + +ERNEST + +Well, if you object--like a prima donna---- + + [_Takes out pencil to mark on proof._ + + +HELEN + +[_snatching proofs away_] + +Object? Why, this makes my reputation in the scientific world. + + +ERNEST + +Well, didn't you make mine? + + +HELEN + +[_still glowing with pride, but touched by his unexpected generosity_] + +You can't imagine what this means to me. It's so hard for a woman to get +any recognition. Most men have but one use for us. If we get interested +in anything but _them_ it is "unwomanly"--they call it "a fad." But +they've _got_ to take me seriously now. My name with Ernest Hamilton's! + + [_Points to her name and swaggers back and forth._ + + +ERNEST + +[_bantering_] + +But then, you see, you are a very exceptional woman. Why, you have a +mind like a man. + + +HELEN + +Like a man? [_Coming close to him, tempting him._] If you had a mind +like a woman you would know better than to say that to me! + + [_Re-enter JUDGE from garden. He smiles and glances at them. The + lovers keep quiet as he crosses to the door. Then they look at + each other and smile. JUDGE has gone into the house. It is nearly + dark. The moon is rising._ + + +ERNEST + +[_raises eyebrows_] + +They all take for granted that I want to make love to you. + + [_Smiles but avoids her eyes._ + + +HELEN + +[_avoids his_] + +Well, you took for granted that I wanted you to!... You are about the +most conceited man I ever knew. + + +ERNEST + +How can I help it when you admire me so? + + +HELEN + +I? Admire you? + + +ERNEST + +You're always telling me what great things I'm going to do--stimulating +me, pushing me along. Why, after you left, everything went slump. Tell +me, why did you leave? Was I rude to you? Did I hurt your feelings? + + +HELEN + +Not in the least. It was entirely out of respect for _your_ feelings. + + +ERNEST + +_My_ feelings? [_Laughing._] Oh, I see. You got it into your head that +_I_ wanted to marry _you_! + + +HELEN + +Men sometimes do. + + +ERNEST + +[_looks away_] + +I suppose they do. + + +HELEN + +It's been known to happen. + + +ERNEST + +Talk about conceit! Well, you needn't be afraid! I'll never ask you to +marry _me_. + + +HELEN + +[_turns and looks at him a moment_] + +You can't imagine what a weight this takes off my mind. + + [_She looks away and sighs._ + + +ERNEST + +[_enthusiastically_] + +Yes! I feel as if a veil between us had been lifted. + + [_He looks away and sighs too. Some one begins "Tristan and + Isolde" on the piano within. The moon is up._ + + +HELEN + +[_after a pause_] + +Suppose we talk about--our work. + + +ERNEST + +Yes! Our work. Let's drop the other subject. Look at the moon! + + [_Music and the moonlight flooding them._ + + +HELEN + +Seriously, you promise never to _mention_ the subject again? + + [_She keeps her eyes averted._ + + +ERNEST + +I promise. + + [_He keeps his eyes averted._ + + +HELEN + +[_turning to him with a sudden change to girlish enthusiasm_] + +Then I'll go to Paris with you! + + +ERNEST + +[_recoils_] + +What's that? + + +HELEN + +Why, Doctor Metchnikoff--he promised me he would invite you. + + +ERNEST + +Yes, but-- + + +HELEN + +Don't miss the chance of a lifetime! + + +ERNEST + +No, but you--_you_ can't come! + + +HELEN + +[_simply_] + +If you need me I can, and you just said---- + + +ERNEST + +But you mustn't come to Paris with me! + + +HELEN + +Don't you want me with you? + + +ERNEST + +You are to stay at home and run the department for me. + + +HELEN + +[_stepping back_] + +Don't you want me with you? + + +ERNEST + +[_stepping forward, with his heart in voice_] + +Do I _want_ you! [_Stops._] But I am a man--you are a woman. + + +HELEN + +What of it? Are you one of those small men who care what people say? No! +That's not your reason! [_She sees that it is not._] What is it? You +must tell me. + + +ERNEST + +[_hesitates_] + +It's only for your sake. + + +HELEN + +[_with feeling_] + +Think of all I've done for _your_ sake. You wouldn't be going yourself +but for me! I was the one to see you needed it, I proposed it to +Metchnikoff--I urged him--_made_ him ask you--for _your sake_! And now +am I to be left at home like a child because you don't care to be +embarrassed with me? + + +ERNEST + +Oh, please! This is so unfair. But I simply can't take you now. + + +HELEN + +[_with growing scorn_] + +Oh! You are all alike. You pile work upon me until I nearly drop, you +play upon my interest, my sympathy--you get all you can out of me--my +youth, my strength, my best! And then, just as I, too, have a chance to +arrive in my profession, you, of all men, throw me over! I hate men. I +hate you! + + +ERNEST + +And I love you! + + [_They stare at each other in silence, the moonlight flooding + HELEN'S face, the music coming clear._ + + +HELEN + +[_in an awed whisper, stepping back slowly_] + +I've done it! I've done it! I _knew_ I'd do it! + + +ERNEST + +No. I did it. Forgive me. I had to do it. + + +HELEN + +Oh, and this spoils everything! + + +ERNEST + +[_comes closer_] + +No! It glorifies everything! [_He breaks loose._] I have loved you from +the first day you came and looked up at me for orders. I didn't want you +there; I didn't want any woman there. I tried to tire you out with +overwork but couldn't. I tried to drive you out by rudeness, but you +stayed. And that made me love you more. Oh, I love you! I love you! I +love you! + + +HELEN + +Don't; oh, don't love me! + + +ERNEST + +[_still closer_] + +Why, I never knew there could be women like you. I thought women were +merely something to be wanted and worshipped, petted and patronized. But +now--why, I love everything about you: your wonderful, brave eyes that +face the naked facts of life and are not ashamed; those beautiful hands +that toiled so long, so well, so close to mine and not afraid, not +afraid! + + +HELEN + +You mustn't! I _am_ afraid now! I made you say it. [_Smiling and +crying._] I have always wanted to make you say it. I have always +sworn you shouldn't. + + +ERNEST + +[_pained_] + +Because you cannot care enough? + + +HELEN + +Enough?... Too much. + + +ERNEST + +[_overwhelmed_] + +You--love--me! + + [_He takes her in his arms, a silent embrace with only the bland + blase moon looking on._ + + +HELEN + +It is because I love you that I didn't want you to say it--only I did. +It is because I love you that I went abroad--to stay, only I couldn't! I +couldn't stay away! [_She holds his face in her hands._] Oh, do you know +how I love you? No!... you're only a _man_! + + +ERNEST + +[_kissing her rapturously_] + +Every day there in the laboratory, when you in your apron--that dear +apron which I stole from your locker when you left me--when you asked +for orders--did you know that I wanted to say: "Love me"! Every day when +you took up your work, did you never guess that I wanted to take you up +in my arms? + + +HELEN + +[_smiling up into his face_] + +Why didn't you? + + +ERNEST + +Thank God I didn't! For while we worked there together I came to know +you as few men ever know the women they desire. Woman can be more than +sex, as man is more than sex. And all this makes man and woman not less +but more _overwhelmingly_ desirable and necessary to each other, and +makes both things last--not for a few years, but forever! + + [_Sound of voices approaching from the garden. The lovers + separate. It is JEAN and REX, REX laughing, JEAN dodging until + caught and kissed._ + + +JEAN + +No, no--it's time to dress.... Be good, Rex--don't! + + [_Without seeing HELEN and ERNEST, they disappear into the house. + HELEN is suddenly changed, as if awakened from a spell of + enchantment._ + + +HELEN + +What have we done! This is all moonlight and madness. To-morrow comes +the clear light of day. + + +ERNEST + +Ah, but we'll love each other to-morrow! + + +HELEN + +But we cannot marry--then or any other to-morrow. + + +ERNEST + +Can't? What nonsense! + + +HELEN + +[_shaking her head and restraining him_] + +I have slaved for you all these months--not because I wanted to win you +from your work but to help you in it. And now--after all--shall I +destroy you? No! No! + + +ERNEST + +I _love_ you--you love _me_--nothing else matters. + + +HELEN + +Everything else matters. I'm not a little debutante to be persuaded that +I am needed because I am wanted! I haven't _played_ with you; I have +_worked_ with you, and I _know_! Think of Theodore! Think of Lucy! And +now poor little Jean. Marry you? Never! + + +ERNEST + +You mean your career? + + +HELEN + +[_with supreme scorn_] + +_My_ career? No! yours--always yours! + + +ERNEST + +[_with the same scorn and a snap of the fingers_] + +Then _that_ for my career. I'll go back into private practice and make a +million. + + +HELEN + +That's just what I said you'd do. Just what you must not do! Your work +is needed by the world. + + +ERNEST + +[_wooing_] + +You are my world and I need you.... But there is no love without +marriage, no marriage without money.... We can take it or leave it. Can +we leave it? No! I can't--you can't! Come! [_She steps back slowly._] +Why should we sacrifice the best! Come! + + +HELEN + +So _this_ is what marriage means! Then I _cannot_ marry you, Ernest! + + +ERNEST + +You cannot do without me, Helen! [_Holds out his arms._] Come! You have +been in my arms once. You and I can never forget that now. We can never +go back now. It's all--or nothing now. Come! [_She is struggling against +her passion. He stands still, with arms held out._] I shall not woo you +against your will, but you are coming to me! Because, by all the powers +of earth and heaven, you are mine and I am yours! Come! + + [_Like a homing pigeon she darts into his arms with a gasp of joy. + A rapturous embrace in silence with the moonlight streaming down + upon them. The music has stopped._ + + _JOHN, dressed for dinner, strolls out upon the terrace. He stops + abruptly upon discovering them. The lovers are too absorbed to be + aware of his presence._ + + + + +ACT II + + + _It is the next morning, Sunday._ + + _It appears that at JOHN'S country place they have breakfast at + small tables out upon the broad, shaded terrace overlooking the + glorious view of his little farm._ + + _ERNEST and THEODORE, the scientist and the clergyman, are + breakfasting together. The others are either breakfasting in their + rooms or are not yet down, it being Sunday._ + + _The man of God is enjoying his material blessings heartily. Also + he seems to be enjoying his view of the man of science, who eats + little and says less._ + + +THEODORE + +[_with coffee-cup poised_] + +What's the matter with your appetite this morning, Ernest? [_ERNEST, +gazing up at one of the second-story windows, does not hear. The door +opens. He starts. Then, seeing it's only a servant with food, he +sighs._] Expecting something? The codfish balls? Well, here they are. +[_ERNEST refuses the proffered codfish balls, scowls, brings out cigar +case, lights cigar, looks at watch, and fidgets._] Oh, I know--you're +crazy to go with me--to church! [_ERNEST doesn't hear. Creates a cloud +of smoke._] Their regular rector is ill. So I agreed to take the service +this morning.... Always the way when off for a rest ... isn't it? [_No +answer. THEODORE gets up, walks around the table, and shouts in ERNEST'S +face._] Isn't it? + + +ERNEST + +[_startled_] + +I beg your pardon? + + +THEODORE + +[_laughs, ERNEST wondering what's the joke_] + +Oh, you're hopeless! [_Going._] I can't stand people who talk so much at +breakfast. + + +ERNEST + +[_suddenly wakes up_] + +Wait a minute. Sit down. Have a cigar. Let's talk about God. [_THEODORE +stops smiling._] But I mean it. I'd like to have a religion myself. + + +THEODORE + +I had an idea you took no stock in religion. + + [_Takes the cigar. ERNEST holds a match for him._ + + +ERNEST + +[_enthusiastically_] + +Just what I thought, until ... well, I've made a discovery, a great +discovery! + + +THEODORE + +A scientific discovery? + + +ERNEST + +[_with a wave of the hand_] + +It makes all science look like a ... mere machine. + + +THEODORE + +Well, if you feel so strongly about it ... better come to church after +all! + + +ERNEST + +I'm not talking about the Church--I'm talking about _religion_. + + +THEODORE + +You're not talking about religion; you're talking about--love. + + +ERNEST + +[_quietly_] + +Certainly; the same thing, isn't it? I'm talking about the divine fire +that glorifies life and perpetuates it--the one eternal thing we mortals +share with God.... If _that_ isn't religious, what is? [_THEODORE smiles +indulgently._] Tell me, Theodore--you know I wasn't allowed to go to +church when young, and since then I've always worked on the holy Sabbath +day, like yourself--does the Church still let innocent human beings +think there's something inherently wrong about sex? [_THEODORE drops his +eyes. ERNEST disgusted with him._] I see! Good people should drop their +eyes even at the mention of the word. + + +THEODORE + +Sex is a necessary evil, I admit, but---- + + +ERNEST + +[_laughs_] + +Evil! The God-given impulse which accounts for you sitting there, for me +sitting here? The splendid instinct which writes our poetry, builds our +civilizations, founds our churches--the very heart and soul of life is +evil. Really, Theodore, I don't know much about religion, but that +strikes me as blasphemy against the Creator. + + +THEODORE + +Very scientific, my boy, very modern; but the Church believed in +marriage before Science was born. + + +ERNEST + +As a compromise with evil? + + +THEODORE + +As a sacrament of religion--and so do you! + + +ERNEST + +Good! Then why practise and preach marriage as a sacrament of property? +"Who giveth this woman to be married to this man--" Women are still +goods and chattels to be given or sold, are they? + + +THEODORE + +Oh, nonsense! + + +ERNEST + +Then why keep on making them promise to "serve and obey"? Why marry them +with a ring--the link of the ancient chain? [_He smiles._] In the days +of physical force it was made of iron--now of gold. But it's still a +chain, isn't it? + + +THEODORE + +Symbols, my dear fellow, not to be taken in a literal +sense--time-honored and beautiful symbols. + + +ERNEST + +But why insult a woman you respect--even symbolically? + + +THEODORE + +[_with a laugh_] + +Oh, you scientists! + + +ERNEST + +[_joining in the laugh_] + +We try to find the truth--and you try to hide it, eh? Well, there's one +thing we have in common, anyway--one faith I'll never doubt again; I +believe in Heaven now. I always shall. + + +THEODORE + +Do you mind telling me why, my boy? + + +ERNEST + +Not in the least. I've been there. [_JOHN comes out to breakfast. He is +scowling._] Good morning; could you spare me five minutes? + + +JOHN + +[_ringing bell_] + +Haven't had breakfast yet. + + +ERNEST + +After breakfast? + + +JOHN + +I've an appointment with young Baker. + + +ERNEST + +[_smiles_] + +I'll wait my turn. + + +JOHN + +Going to be pretty busy to-day--you, too, I suppose, if you're sailing +to-morrow. + + +ERNEST + +I can postpone sailing. This is more important. + + +JOHN + +I should hate to see _anything_ interfere with your career. + + [_LUCY also arrives for breakfast. She "always pours her husband's + coffee."_ + + +ERNEST + +I appreciate your interest, but I'll look out for my "career." [_To +LUCY._] Could you tell me when your sister will be down? + + +JOHN + +[_overriding LUCY_] + +My sister is ill and won't be down at all ... until _after_ you _leave_. + + [_LUCY pretends not to hear. THEODORE walks away._ + + +ERNEST + +[_aroused, but calm_] + +I don't believe you quite understand. It is a matter of indifference to +me whether we have a talk or not. Entirely out of courtesy to you that I +suggest it. + + +JOHN + +Don't inconvenience yourself on my account. + + +ERNEST + +[_shrugs shoulders and turns to THEODORE_] + +Wait, I think I'll sit in church till train time. + + +THEODORE + +[_smoothing it over_] + +Come along. I'm going to preach about marriage! + + [_THEODORE starts off._ + + +ERNEST + +[_going, turns to LUCY_] + +Thanks for your kindness. Will you ask the valet to pack my things, +please? I'll call for them on the way to the station. [_To JOHN._] Do +you understand? I have no favors to ask of you. You don't own your +sister--she owns herself. + + [_The scientist goes to church._ + + +JOHN + +[_with a loud laugh, turns to LUCY_] + +Rather impertinent for a two-thousand-dollar man, I think. [_Resumes +breakfast, picks up newspaper. LUCY says nothing, attending to his +wants solicitously._] Bah! what does this highbrow know about the power +men of my sort can use ... when we have to? [_LUCY cringes dutifully in +silence. JOHN, paper in one hand, brusquely passes cup to LUCY with +other._] Helen got her own way about college, about work, about living +in her own apartment--but if she thinks she can put _this_ across! +Humph! These modern women must learn their place. [_LUCY, smiling +timidly, returns cup. JOHN takes it without thanks, busied in +newspapers. A look of resentment creeps over LUCY'S pretty face, now +that he can't see her._] Ah! I've got something up my sleeve for that +young woman. [_LUCY says nothing, looks of contempt while he reads._] +Well, why don't you say something? + + +LUCY + +[_startled_] + +I thought you didn't like me to talk at breakfast, dear. + + +JOHN + +Think I like you to sit there like a mummy? [_No reply._] Haven't you +_any_thing to say? [_Apparently not._] You never have any more, nothing +interesting.... Does it ever occur to you that I'd like to be +diverted?... No! + + +LUCY + +Yes.... Would you mind very much if ... if I left you, John? + + +JOHN + +Left me? When--where--how long? + + +LUCY + +[_gathering courage_] + +Now--any place--entirely. + + +JOHN + +[_bursts out laughing_] + +What suddenly put _this_ notion in your head? + + +LUCY + +I'm sorry--John, but I've had it--oh, for years. I never dared ask you +till now. + + +JOHN + +[_still glancing over paper_] + +Like to leave me, would you?... You have no grounds for divorce, my +dear. + + +LUCY + +But _you_ will have--after I leave you. + + +JOHN + +[_yawns_] + +You have no lover to leave with. + + +LUCY + +[_daintily_] + +But couldn't I just desert you--without anything horrid? + + +JOHN + +[_reads_] + +No money to desert with. + + +LUCY + +[_springs up_--_at bay_] + +You won't let me escape decently when I tell you I don't want to stay? +When I tell you I can't stand being under your roof any longer? When I +tell you I'm sick of this life? + + +JOHN + +[_gets up calmly_] + +But, you see, I can stand it. I want you to stay. I'm not sick of it. +You belong to me. + + +LUCY + +[_shrinking away as he approaches_] + +Don't touch me! Every time you come near me I have to nerve myself to +stand it. + + +JOHN + +What's got into you? Don't I give you everything money can buy? My God, +if I only gave you something to worry about; if I ran after other women +like old man Baker---- + + +LUCY + +If you only would!--Then you'd let _me_ alone. To me you are repulsive. + + +JOHN + +[_taking hold of her_] + +Lucy! You are my wife. + + +LUCY + +[_looking him straight in the eye_] + +But you don't respect me, and I--I hate you--oh, how I hate you! + + +JOHN + +[_holds her fast_] + +I am your husband, your lawful husband. + + +LUCY + +[_stops struggling_] + +Yes, this is lawful--but, oh, what laws you men have made for women! + + [_The JUDGE comes out, carrying a telegram._ + + +JUDGE + +Rather early in the day for conjugal embraces, if you should ask me. +[_JOHN and LUCY separate._] Makes me quite sentimental and homesick. + + [_JUDGE raises telegram and kisses it._ + + +LUCY + +[_calming herself_] + +From Aunt Julia again? Do you get telegrams every day from Reno? + + +JUDGE + +No, but she caught cold. Went to the theatre last night and caught a +cold. So she wired me--naturally; got the habit of telling me her +troubles, can't break it, even in Reno. + + +JOHN + +I thought she hated the theatre! + + +JUDGE + +So she does, but I'm fond of it; she went for my sake. She's got the +habit of sacrificing herself for me. Just as hard to break good habits +as bad. + + +JOHN + +True women enjoy sacrificing themselves. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, that's what we tell them. Well, we ought to know. We make 'em do +it. [_Brings out a fountain pen and sits abruptly._] That's what I'll +tell her. I can hear her laugh. You know her laugh. + + +LUCY + +[_rings for a servant_] + +A telegraph blank? + + +JUDGE + +[_with a humorous expression he brings a whole pad of telegraph blanks +out of another pocket_] + +Carry them with me nowadays. [_Begins to write._] Wish I hadn't sold my +Western Union, John. + + +JOHN + +I don't believe you want that divorce very much. + + +JUDGE + +It doesn't matter what _I_ want--what she wants is the point. You must +give the woman you marry tutti-frutti, divorces--everything.... Why, +I've got the habit myself, and God knows I don't enjoy sacrifice--I'm a +man! The superior sex! + + +JOHN + +I don't believe you appreciate that wife of yours. + + +JUDGE + +[_between the words he's writing_] + +Don't I? It isn't every wife that'd travel away out to Reno--you know +how she hates travelling--and go to a theatre--and catch a cold--and get +a divorce--all for the sake of an uncongenial husband. [_Suddenly +getting an idea, strikes table._] I know what gave her a cold. She +raised all the windows in her bedroom--for _my_ sake!--I always kept +them down for _her_ sake. I'll have to scold her. [_Bends to his writing +again._] Poor little thing! She doesn't know how to take care of herself +without me. I doubt if she ever will. + + [_Looks over telegram. A SERVANT comes, takes telegram, and goes._ + + +JOHN + +Uncle Everett, I want your advice. + + +JUDGE + +John! do _you_ want a divorce? + + +JOHN + +No, we are not that sort, are we, Lucy? [_No answer._] Are we, dear? + + +LUCY + +[_after a pause_] + +No, we are not that sort! + + +JOHN + +We believe in the sanctity of the home, the holiness of marriage. + + +LUCY + +Yes, we believe in--"the holiness of marriage!" + + [_Turns away, covering her face with her hands and shuddering._ + + +JOHN + +Lucy, tell Helen and Jean to come here. [_LUCY goes._] Well, young Baker +spoke to me about Jean last night. I told him I'd think it over and give +him my decision this morning. + + +JUDGE + +That's right. Mustn't seem too anxious, John. When the properly +qualified male offers one of our dependent females a chance at woman's +only true career, of course it's up to us to look disappointed. + + +JOHN + +But I didn't bring up the little matter you spoke of. + + +JUDGE + +About that chorus girl?... Afraid of scaring him off? + + +JOHN + +Not at all, but--well, it's all over and it's all fixed. No scandal, no +blackmail. + + +JUDGE + +Hum! By the way, got anything on Hamilton? + + +JOHN + +I don't believe in saints myself. + + +JUDGE + +I see.... Good thing, for Jean Rex isn't a saint. I suppose you'd break +off the match. + + [_REX, in riding clothes, comes out. JOHN salutes him warmly. The + JUDGE is reading the paper._ + + +REX + +[_not eagerly_] + +Well? + + +JOHN + +Well, of course, you realize that you're asking a great deal of me, Rex, +but--[_Offers hand to REX warmly._] Be good to her, my boy, be good to +her. + + +REX + +[_shaking hands, forced warmth_] + +Thanks awfully. See-what-I-mean? [_To JUDGE._] Congratulate me, Judge; +I'm the happiest of men. + + +JUDGE + +[_looking up from newspaper_] + +So I see. Don't let it worry you. + + [_JEAN, in riding costume, comes from the house._ + + +JOHN + +[_signalling JUDGE to leave_] + +If Helen asks for me, I'm in the garden. + + +JUDGE + +If any telegrams come for me, I'm writing to _my wife_! + + [_JEAN and REX alone, they look at each other, not very loverlike._ + + +JEAN + +[_impulsively_] + +You weren't in love with me yesterday. You aren't now. You would get out +of it if you honorably could. But you honorably _can't_! So you have +spoken to John; you are going to see it through, because you're a good +sport.... I admire you for that, Rex, too much to hold you to it. You +are released. + + +REX + +[_amazed_] + +Why--why--you--you don't suppose I want to be released? + + +JEAN + +Well, I do!... Yesterday I let you propose to me when I cared for some +one else. That's not fair to you, to me, to him! + + +REX + +[_in a sudden fury_] + +Who is he? What do you mean by this? Why didn't you tell me? + + +JEAN + +I am telling you now. What have you ever told me about yourself? + + +REX + +[_blinking_] + +You had no right to play fast and loose with me. + + +JEAN + +I'm making the only amends I can. You are free, I tell you. + + +REX + +I don't want to be free! He can't have you! You are mine! If you think +you can make me stop loving you---- + + +JEAN + +[_interrupting_] + +Love, Rex? Only jealousy. You've never been in love with me--you've +always been in love with Helen. But you couldn't get her, so you took +me. Isn't that true, Rex? + + +REX + +[_after an uncomfortable pause_] + +I'll be honest with you, too. Yesterday I wasn't really very serious. I +felt like a brute afterward. You tried your best to prevent what +happened and ran away from me. But now---- + + +JEAN + +Don't you know why I ran away? To make you follow. I made you catch me. +I made you kiss me. Then you realized that we had been thrown together +constantly--deliberately thrown together, if you care to know it--and, +well, that's how many marriages are made. But I shan't marry on such +terms. It's indecent! + + +REX + +[_another pause_] + +I never thought a _woman_ could be capable of such honesty!... Oh, what +a bully sport you are! You aren't like the rest that have been shoved at +me. Why, I can respect you. You are the one for me. + + [_He tries to take her._ + + +JEAN + +[_restraining him with dignity_] + +I am sorry, Rex, but I am not for you. + + +REX + +Jean! without you ... don't you see--I'll go straight to the devil! + + +JEAN + +That old, cowardly dodge? Any man who has no more backbone than +that--why, I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man in the world. + + +REX + +[_frantic to possess what he cannot have_] + +You won't, eh? We'll see about that. I want you now as I never wanted +anything in my life, and I'll win you from him yet. You'll see! + + [_HELEN now appears._ + + +HELEN + +Oh, I beg your pardon. Lucy said John was out here. + + +JEAN + +I'll call him. + + [_She runs down into the garden._ + + +REX + +I'll call him. + + [_He runs after JEAN. HELEN helplessly watches them go, sighs, + standing by the garden steps until JOHN ascends. He looks at HELEN + a moment, wondering how to begin. She looks so capable and + unafraid of him._ + + +JOHN + +If you hadn't gone to college, you could have done what Jean is doing. + + +HELEN + +[_with a shrug and a smile_] + +But how proud you must be, John, to have a sister who isn't compelled to +marry one man while in love with another. _Now_, aren't you glad I went +to college? + + [_She laughs good-naturedly at him._ + + +JOHN + +Humph! If you think I'd let a sister of mine marry one of old man +Baker's two-thousand-dollar employees---- + + +HELEN + +Why, John, didn't Ernest tell you? Doctor Hawksbee has offered him a +partnership. Just think of that! + + +JOHN + +What! Going back into private practice? + + +HELEN + +But it's such a fashionable practice. Hawksbee's made a million at it. + + +JOHN + +But the institute needs Hamilton. + + +HELEN + +Ah, but we need the money! + + +JOHN + +[_disconcerted_] + +So you are going to spoil a noble career, are you? That's selfish. I +didn't think it of you. There are thousands of successful physicians, +but there is only one Ernest Hamilton. + + +HELEN + +[_laughs_] + +Oh, don't worry, John, he has promised me to keep his +two-thousand-dollar job. + + +JOHN + +Ah, I'm glad. You must let nothing interfere with his great humanitarian +work. Think what it means to the lives of little children! Think what it +means to the future of the race! Why, every one says his greatest +usefulness has hardly begun! + + +HELEN + +Oh, I know all that, I've thought of all that. + + +JOHN + +Now, such men should be kept free from cares and anxiety. What was it +you said yesterday? "He needs every cent of his salary for books, +travel, all the advantages he simply must have for efficiency." To marry +a poor man--most selfish thing a girl could do! + + +HELEN + +Yes, John, that's what I said yesterday. + + +JOHN + +[_scoring_] + +But that was before he asked you! [_HELEN smiles. He sneers._] Rather +pleased with yourself now, aren't you? "Just a woman after +all"--heroine of cheap magazine story! Sacrifices career for love!... +All very pretty and romantic, my dear--but how about the man you love! +Want to sacrifice his career, too? + + +HELEN + +But I'm not going to sacrifice what you are pleased to call my +career.... Therefore he won't have to sacrifice his. + + +JOHN + +What! going to keep on working? Will he let the woman he loves work! + + +HELEN + +[_demure_] + +Well, you see, he says I'm "too good" to loaf. + + +JOHN + +Humph! who'll take care of your home when you're at work? Who'll take +care of your work when you're at home. Look at it practically. To +maintain such a home as he needs on such a salary as he has--why, it +would take all your time, all your energy. To keep him in his class +you'll have to drop out of your own, become a household drudge, a +servant. + + +HELEN + +And if I am willing? + + +JOHN + +Then where's your intellectual companionship? How'll you help his work? +Expense for him, disillusionment for both. If you're the woman you +pretend to be, you won't marry that man! + + +HELEN + +[_strong_] + +The world needs his work, but he needs mine, and we both need each +other. + + +JOHN + +[_stronger_] + +And marriage would only handicap his work, ruin yours, and put you +apart. You know that's true. You've seen it happen with others. You have +told me so yourself! + + +HELEN + +Then that settles it! We must not, cannot, shall not marry. We have no +right to marry. I agree with all you say--it would not join us together; +it would put us asunder. + + +JOHN + +And you'll give him up? Good! Good! + + +HELEN + +Give him up? Never! The right to work, the right to love--those rights +are inalienable. No, we'll give up marriage but not each other. + + +JOHN + +But--but--I don't understand. + + +HELEN + +[_straight in his eyes_] + +We need each other--in our work and in our life--and we're to have each +other--until life is ended and our work is done. Now, do you understand? + + +JOHN + +[_recoiling_] + +Are you in your right mind? Think what you're saying. + + +HELEN + +I have thought all night, John. You have shown me how to say it. + + +JOHN + +But, but--why, this is utterly unbelievable! Why I'm not even shocked. +Do you notice? I'm not even shocked? Because everything you have said, +everything you have done--it all proves that you are a good woman. + + +HELEN + +If I were a bad woman, I'd inveigle him into marriage, John. + + +JOHN + +Inveigle! Marriage! Are you crazy? ... Oh, this is all one of your +highbrow jokes! + + +HELEN + +John, weren't you serious when you said marriage would destroy him? + + +JOHN + +But this would destroy _you_! + + +HELEN + +Well, even if that were so, which is more important to the world? Which +is more important to your "great humanitarian work"? + + +JOHN + +Ah, very clever! A bluff to gain my consent to marrying him--a trick to +get his salary raised. + + +HELEN + +[_with force_] + +John, nothing you can do, nothing you can say, will ever gain my consent +to marrying him. I've not told you half my reasons. + + +JOHN + +My God! my own sister! And did you, for one moment, dream that I would +consent to that! + + +HELEN + +Not for one moment. I'm not asking your consent. I'm just telling you. + + +JOHN + +[_after scrutinizing her_] + +Ridiculous! If you really meant to run away with this fellow, would you +come and tell _me_, your own brother? + + +HELEN + +Do you suppose I'd _run_ away without telling, even my own brother? + + +JOHN + +[_looks at her a moment; she returns his gaze_] + +Bah!--all pose and poppycock! [_He abruptly touches bell._] I'll soon +put a stop to this nonsense. [_Muttering._] Damnedest thing I ever heard +of. + + +HELEN + +John, I understand exactly what I'm doing. You never will. But nothing +you can do can stop me now. + + +JOHN + +We'll see about that. [_The BUTLER appears._] Ask the others to step out +here at once; all except Miss Jean and Mr. Baker, I don't want them. Is +Doctor Hamilton about? + + +BUTLER + +No, sir, he went to church. + + +JOHN + +All right. [_The BUTLER disappears._] To church! My God! + + [_HELEN pays no attention. She gazes straight out into the future, + head high, eyes clear and wide open._ + + +JOHN + +First of all, when the others come out, I'm going to ask them to look +you in the face. Then you can make this statement to them, if you wish, +and--look them in the face. + + +HELEN + +[_with quiet scorn_] + +If I were being forced into such a marriage as poor little Jean's, I +would kill myself. But in the eyes of God, who made love, no matter how +I may appear in the eyes of man, who made marriage, I know that I am +doing right. + + [_LUCY comes out, followed by the JUDGE._ + + +JOHN + +[_not seeing them. He is loud_] + +Say that to Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore! Say that to my wife, +stand up and say that to the world, if you dare. + + +LUCY + +[_to JUDGE_] + +She has told him! + + +JOHN + +[_wheeling about_] + +What! did she tell you? Why didn't you come to me at once? + + +LUCY + +[_tremulous_] + +She said she wanted to tell you herself. I didn't think she'd dare! + + [_They all turn to look at HELEN. THEODORE comes back from church + alone._ + + +HELEN + +It had to be announced, of course. + + +THEODORE + +[_advancing, beaming_] + +Announced? What is announced? + + [_All turn to him in a panic._ + + +LUCY + +[_hurriedly_] + +Their engagement, Theodore! + + +JUDGE + +[_overriding HELEN_] + +Yes, John has given his consent at last--example to society. + + [_Prods JOHN._ + + +JOHN + +[_also overrides HELEN_] + +Of course! One of the finest fellows in the world. + + +THEODORE + +[_delighted_] + +And withal he has a deep religious nature. Congratulations. My dear, +he'll make an ideal husband. + + [_Takes both HELEN'S hands, about to kiss her._ + + +HELEN + +[_can't help smiling_] + +Thank you, cousin, but I don't want a husband. + + [_A sudden silence._ + + +THEODORE + +[_looks from one to the other_] + +A lover's quarrel?--already! + + +JUDGE + +[_enjoying it_] + +No, Theodore, these lovers are in perfect accord. They both have +conscientious scruples against marriage. + + +JOHN + +Conscientious! + + +JUDGE + +So they are simply going to set up housekeeping without the mere +formality of a wedding ceremony. + + [_THEODORE drops HELEN'S hands._ + + +HELEN + +[_quietly_] + +We are going to do nothing of the sort. + + +THEODORE + +Uncle Everett! + + [_Takes her hands again._ + + +HELEN + +We are not going to set up housekeeping at all. He will keep his present +quarters and I mine. + + +JOHN + +But they are going to belong to each other. + + +THEODORE + +[_drops HELEN'S hands--aghast_] + +I don't believe it. + + +JUDGE + +[_apart to THEODORE_] + +The strike against marriage. It was bound to come. + + +THEODORE + +[_to JUDGE_] + +But Church and State--[_indicates self and JUDGE_] must break this +strike. + + +HELEN + +John is a practical man. He will prove to you that such a home as we +could afford would only be a stumbling-block to Ernest's usefulness, a +hollow sphere for mine. You can't fill it with mere happiness, Lucy, not +for long, not for long. + + +JUDGE + +[_restrains THEODORE about to reply_] + +Oh, let her get it all nicely talked out, then she'll take a nap and +wake up feeling better. [_Whispering._] We've driven her to this +ourselves, but she really doesn't mean a word of it. Come, dear child, +tell us all about this nightmare. + + +HELEN + +[_smiles at the JUDGE_] + +Why, think what would happen to an eager intellect like Ernest +Hamilton's if he had to come back to a narrow-minded apartment or a +dreary suburb every evening and eat morbid meals opposite a housewife +regaling him with the social ambitions of the other commuters. Ugh! It +has ruined enough brilliant men already. [_JUDGE restrains THEODORE and +others who want to interrupt._] Now at the University Club he dines, at +slight expense compared with keeping up a home, upon the best food in +the city with some of the best scientists in the country.... Marriage +would divorce him from all that, would transplant him from an atmosphere +of ideas into an atmosphere of worries. We should be forced into the +same deadly ruts as the rest of you, uncle. Do you want me to destroy a +great career, Theodore? + + +THEODORE + +Do you want to be a blot upon that career? + + +HELEN + +[_lightly_] + +I'd rather be a blot than a blight, and that's what I'd be if I became +his bride. Ask John. + + +LUCY + +Do you want to be disgraced, despised, ostracized! + + +HELEN + +[_smiles at LUCY_] + +A choice of evils, dear; of course, none of those costly well-kept wives +on your visiting list will call upon me. But instead of one day at home, +instead of making a tired husband work for me, I'll have all my days +free to work with him, like the old-fashioned woman you admire! Instead +of being an expense, I'll be a help to him; instead of being separated +by marriage and divergent interests, we'll be united by love and common +peril.... Isn't that the orthodox way to gain character, Theodore? + + +JOHN + +Oh, this is all damned nonsense! Look here, you've either got to marry +this fellow now or else go away and never see him again; never, never! + + +HELEN + +Just what I thought, John. I intended never to see him again. That was +why I let you send me abroad. But I'll never, never do it again. +[_Smiling like an engaged girl._] It was perfectly dreadful! Ernest +couldn't get along without me at all, poor old thing. And I, why, I +nearly died. + + +JOHN + +Then you'll have to be married, that's all. + + +THE OTHERS + +Why, of course you'll have to, that's all. + + +HELEN + +[_nodding_] + +Oh, I know just how you feel about it. I thought so, too, at first, but +I can't marry Ernest Hamilton. I love him. + + +THEODORE + +But if you love him truly--marriage, my dear, brings together those who +love each other truly. + + +HELEN + +But those who love each other truly don't need anything to bring them +together. The difficulty is to keep apart. + + [_A reminiscent shudder._ + + +JOHN + +That's all romantic rot! Every one feels that way at first. + + +HELEN + +At first! Then the practical object of marriage is not to bring together +those who love each other, but to keep together those who do not? [_To +LUCY._] What a dreadful thing marriage must be! + + [_JUDGE chokes down a chuckle._ + + +JUDGE + +Ah, so you wish to be free to separate. Now we have it. + + +HELEN + +To separate? What an idea! On the contrary, we wish to be free to keep +together! In the old days when they had interests in common marriage +used to make man and woman one, but now it puts them apart. Can't you +see it all about you? He goes down-town and works; she stays up-town and +plays. He belongs to the laboring class; she belongs to the leisure +class. At best, they seldom work at the same or similar trades. Legally +it may be a union, but socially it's a mesalliance--in the eyes of God +it's often worse.... No wonder that one in eleven ends in divorce. The +only way to avoid spiritual separation is to shun legal union like a +contagious disease. Modern marriage _is_ divorce. [_She turns to go, +defiantly._] I've found my work, I've found my mate, and so has he! What +more can any human being ask? + + [_The BUTLER appears._ + + +BUTLER + +[_to JOHN_] + +Doctor Hamilton is outside in a taxicab, sir. + + +JOHN + +Show him here at once! + + +BUTLER + +He says he does not care to come in, sir, unless you are ready to talk +to him now. + + +JOHN + +Well, of all the nerve! You bet I'm ready! + + [_Starts off. HELEN starts, too._ + + +JUDGE + +[_intercepting them calmly_] + +Wait a minute--wait a minute. [_To SERVANT._] Ask Doctor Hamilton kindly +to wait in the library. [_The BUTLER goes._] Now, we're all a bit +overwrought. [_Soothes HELEN, pats her hand, puts arm about her, +gradually leads her back._] I still believe in you, Helen, I still +believe in him. [_To all._] It's simply that he's so deeply absorbed in +his great work for mankind that he doesn't realize what he is asking +Helen to do. + + +HELEN + +[_quietly_] + +So I told him ... when he asked me to marry him. + + +ALL + +What! He _asked_ you to _marry_ him? + + +HELEN + +Of course! _Implored_ me to marry him. [_She adds, smiling._] So +absorbed--not in mankind, but in me--that he "didn't realize what he +was asking me to do." + + +LUCY + +[_utterly amazed_] + +And you refused him! The man who loves you honorably? + + +HELEN + +[_demurely_] + +Of course! You don't suppose I'd take advantage of the poor fellow's +weakness. Women often do, I admit--even when not in love, sometimes.... +Not because they're depraved but dependent. + + +JOHN + +[_to all_] + +And then he proposed this wicked substitute! Poisoned her innocent +mind--the bounder! + + +HELEN + +But he did nothing of the sort. + + +JOHN + +Oh, your own idea, was it? + + +HELEN + +Of course! + + +JOHN + +[_to all_] + +And he is willing to take advantage of the poor child's ignorance--the +cad! [_To THEODORE._] "Deep religious nature," eh? + + +THEODORE + +I can't believe it of him. + + +HELEN + +He knows nothing about it yet. I haven't even seen him since I made my +decision. + + [_All exchange bewildered glances._ + + +JOHN + +[_apart to JUDGE_] + +We've got to get him off to Paris. It's our only hope. + + +JUDGE + +[_apart to JOHN_] + +You can't stop her following. She's on the edge of the precipice--do you +want to shove her over? You are dealing with big people here and a big +passion. + + [_The BUTLER returns._ + + +BUTLER + +Doctor Hamilton asks to see Miss Helen while waiting. + + +JUDGE + +[_calmly to BUTLER_] + +Tell Doctor Hamilton that Miss Helen will see him here. + + [_The BUTLER leaves._ + + +JOHN + +Are you crazy! We've got to keep 'em apart--our one chance to save her. + + +JUDGE + +No, bring them together. _That_ is our one chance. Come, we'll go down +into the garden and they'll have a nice little talk. Nothing like talk, +John, honest talk, to clear these marriage problems. + + [_Going._ + + +JOHN + +And let them elope? In that taxicab?--not on your life! + + [_Runs to and fro._ + + +JUDGE + +Come, John, girls never notify the family in advance when they plan +elopements. It's not done. + + +THEODORE + +[_going_] + +Uncle Everett is right. Ernest will bring her to her senses. He _has_ a +deep religious nature. + + [_JUDGE leads JOHN away to the garden._ + + +LUCY + +[_lingering--to HELEN_] + +If you offer yourself on such terms to the man who loves you honorably, +he'll never look at you again. + + +THEODORE + +[_leading LUCY off to garden_] + +Don't worry! She won't. + + [_ERNEST rushes out to HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +Ernest! + + +ERNEST + +At last! [_He takes her in his arms; she clings to him and gazes into +his eyes; a long embrace._] Tell me that you're all right again. + + +HELEN + +[_smiling with love and trust_] + +Except that you deserted me, dear, just when I needed you most. Ernest, +Ernest! never leave me again. + + +ERNEST + +Deserted you? Why, your brother said you were ill. + + +HELEN + +Ah, I see ... he was mistaken. + + +ERNEST + +[_jubilant and boyish_] + +But never mind now, I've got you at last, and I'll never, never let you +go. You've got to sail with me to-morrow. Together! Oh, think! Together. + + [_Another embrace._ + + +HELEN + +Are you _sure_ you love me? + + +ERNEST + +[_laughs from sheer joy of her nearness_] + +Am I sure? Ten million times more to-day than yesterday. + + +HELEN + +Even so ... it is not, and can never be, as I love you. + + +ERNEST + +[_with her hands in his, gayly_] + +Then you can apologize. + + +HELEN + +Apologize? + + +ERNEST + +For saying, years and years ago--in other words, last night--that you +didn't think you'd marry me after all. [_She starts._] Why, what's the +matter? You're trembling like a leaf. You _are_ ill! + + +HELEN + +No; oh, no. + + +ERNEST + +[_tenderly_] + +Still a few lingering doubts? I had hoped a good night's rest would put +those little prejudices to sleep forever. + + +HELEN + +Sleep? + + [_She shakes her head, gazing at him soberly._ + + +ERNEST + +So you could not sleep? Neither could I; I was too happy to sleep. I was +afraid I'd miss some wondrous throbbing thought of your loveliness. +[_Takes her passive hand, puts a kiss in it, and closes it reverently +while she looks into his eyes without moving._] Do you know, I'm +disappointed in love. I always thought it meant soft sighs and pretty +speeches. It means an agony of longing, delicious agony, but, oh, +terrific. [_She says nothing._] Dear, dear girl, it may be easy for you, +but I can't stand much more of this. + + +HELEN + +Nor I. + + +ERNEST + +You must come to Paris with me or I'll stay home. All through the night +I had waking visions of our being parted. Just when we had found each +other at last. Some terrible impersonal monster stepped in between us +and said: "No. Now that you have had your glimpse of heaven--away! Ye +twain shall not enter here...." Silly, wasn't it? But I couldn't get the +horror of it out of my head. + + +HELEN + +[_nodding_] + +Do you know why, Ernest? Because it was in mine. It came from my thought +to yours. You and I are attuned like wireless instruments. Even in the +old blind days, there in the laboratory I used to read your mind. Shall +I tell you the name of the monster that would put us asunder?... Its +name is Marriage. + + +ERNEST + +But I need you. You know that. And you need me. It's too late. We are +helpless now--in the clutch of forces more potent than our little +selves--forces that brought us into the world--forces that have made the +world. Whether you will or no, this beautiful binding power is sweeping +you and me together. And you must yield. + + +HELEN + +[_reaching for his hand_] + +Ah, my dear, could anything make it more beautiful, more binding than it +is now? + + +ERNEST + +It is perfect. The one divine thing we share with God. The Church is +right in that respect. I used to look upon marriage as a mere contract. +It's a religious sacrament. + + +HELEN + +Does the wedding ceremony make it sacred? + + +ERNEST + +That mediaeval incantation! No, love, which is given by God, not the +artificial form made by man. + + +HELEN + +I knew it! I knew you'd see it--the mistake of all the ages. They've +tried to make love fit marriage. It can't be done. Marriage must be +changed to fit love. [_Impulsively._] Yes, I'll go to Paris with you. + + +ERNEST + +[_about to take her in his arms_] + +You darling! + + +HELEN + +[_steps back_] + +But not as your wife. + + +ERNEST + +[_stops--perplexed_] + +You mean ... without marriage? + + +HELEN + +I mean without marriage. + + [_They look into each other's eyes._ + + +ERNEST + +A moment ago I thought I loved you as much as man could love woman. I +was mistaken in you--I was mistaken in myself. For now I love you as man +never loved before. You superb, you wonderful woman! + + +HELEN + +[_holds out her hand to be shaken, not caressed_] + +Then you agree? + + +ERNEST + +[_kneels, kisses her hand, and arises_] + +Of course not! You blessed girl, don't you suppose I understand? It's +all for my sake. Therefore for your sake--no. + + +HELEN + +Then for my sake--for the sake of everything our love stands for! + + +ERNEST + +[_laughing fondly_] + +Do you think I'd let you do anything for anybody's sake you're sure, +later, to regret? + + +HELEN + +Then don't ask me to marry you, Ernest. We'd both regret that later. It +would destroy the two things that have brought us together, love and +work. + + +ERNEST + +Nonsense. Nothing could do that.... And besides, think of our poor +horrified families! Think of the world's view! + + +HELEN + +Aren't we sacrificing enough for the world--money, comforts, even +children? Must we also sacrifice each other to the world? Must we be +hypocrites because others are? Must we, too, be cowards and take on the +protective coloring of our species? + + +ERNEST + +Our ideas may be higher than society's, but society rewards and punishes +its members according to its own ideas, not ours. + + +HELEN + +Do you want society's rewards? Do you fear society's punishment? + + +ERNEST + +[_jubilantly enfolding her_] + +With you in my arms, I want nothing from heaven, I fear nothing from +hell; but, my dear [_shrugs and comes down to earth with a smile and +releases her_], consider the price, consider the price. + + +HELEN + +Aren't you willing to pay the price? + + +ERNEST + +I? Yes! But it's the woman, always the woman, who pays. + + +HELEN + +I am willing to pay. + + +ERNEST + +I am not willing to let you. + + +HELEN + +You'll have to be, dear. I shall go with you on my terms or not at all. + + +ERNEST + +[_with decision_] + +You will come with me as my wife or stay at home. + + +HELEN + +[_gasping_] + +Now? After all I've said, all I've done? Ernest: I've told the family! I +relied upon you. I took for granted--Ernest, you wouldn't--you couldn't +leave me behind now. + + +ERNEST + +Thanks to you and what you've made of me, I must and will. + + +HELEN + +Ernest! + + [_Opens her arms to him to take her._ + + +ERNEST + +[_about to enfold her--resists_] + +No! If you love me enough for that [_points to her pleading hands_]--I +love you enough for this. [_He turns to go._] Come when you're ready to +marry me. + + +HELEN + +[_shrill, excited, angered_] + +Do you think this has been easy for me? Do you think I'll offer myself +again on any terms? Never! + + +ERNEST + +You must marry me--and you will. + + +HELEN + +You don't know me. Good-by! + + +ERNEST + +Very well! + + [_ERNEST, afraid to stay, goes at once. She waits motionless until + she hears the automobile carrying him away. She immediately turns + from stone to tears, with a low wail. In utter despair, hands + outstretched she sinks down upon a bench and buries her face in + her hands._ + + +HELEN + +Oh, Ernest!... How could you? + + [_LUCY, THEODORE, JUDGE and JOHN all hurry back, all excited._ + + +THEODORE + +Did you see his horrified look? + + +LUCY + +Fairly running away--revolted. Ah! + + [_Points at HELEN. HELEN arises, defiant, confident, calm._ + + +JOHN + +[_to HELEN_] + +What did I tell you! + + +LUCY + +You have thrown away the love of an honorable man. + + +THEODORE + +Trampled upon the finest feelings of a deep nature. + + +JOHN + +Let this be a lesson to you. You've lost your chance to marry, your +chance to work, and now, by heavens! you will cut out "independence" and +stay at home, _where women belong_, and live down this disgrace ... if +you can. + + +LUCY + +With one excuse or another--he'll stay away. He'll never come back. + + +HELEN + +[_clear and confident as if clairvoyant_] + +He will! He is coming now.... He is crossing the hall.... He is passing +through the library.... He's here! + + [_But she doesn't turn. ERNEST reappears at the door and takes in + the situation at a glance._ + + +JOHN + +[_still turned toward HELEN_] + +He'll never look at you again, and I don't blame him! I'm a man; I know. +We don't respect women who sell out so cheap. + + +ERNEST + +You lie! [_All turn, astounded. HELEN runs toward ERNEST with a cry of +joy. JOHN starts to block her. To JOHN._] Stop! You're not fit to touch +her. No man is. + + +JOHN + +[_with a sarcastic laugh_] + +Humph! I suppose that's why you ran away. + + +ERNEST + +Yes. To protect her from myself. + + +JOHN + +Then why come back? + + +ERNEST + +To protect her from you! You cowards, you hypocrites! [_He rushes down +to HELEN, puts his strong arm about shoulder and whispers rapidly._] +Just as I started, something stopped me. In a flash I saw ... all this. + + +HELEN + +[_clasping his arm with both hands_] + +I made you come! I made you see! + + +JOHN + +[_advances menacingly_] + +By what right are you here in my home? By what right do you take my +sister in your arms? + + +ERNEST + +By a right more ancient than man-made law! I have come to the cry of my +mate. I'm here to fight for the woman I love! [_Arm about HELEN, defies +the world. To all._] My trip to Paris is postponed. One week from to-day +gather all your family here, and in your home we'll make our declaration +to the world. + + +JOHN + +In my home! Ha! Not if I know it. + + +JUDGE + +[_restraining JOHN_] + +Play for time, John--he'll bring her around. + + +JOHN + +[_to ERNEST_] + +Do you mean to marry her or not? Speak my language! + + [_ERNEST releases HELEN and steps across to JOHN._ + + +ERNEST + +_She_ decides that--not you. + + [_All turn to HELEN._ + + +HELEN + +Never! + + +JOHN + +[_shaking off JUDGE. To HELEN._] + +You'll go with this damned fanatic only over my dead body. + + +HELEN + +[_high_] + +And that will only cry aloud the thing you wish to hide from the world +you fear. + + [_Just now JEAN is seen slowly returning from the garden without + REX. Her pretty head is bent and, busy with her own sad thoughts, + she is startled by the following:_ + + +ERNEST + +There are laws to prevent marriage in some cases but none to enforce +marriage on women--unless they will it. + + +JOHN + +[_beside himself with rage_] + +Enforce! Do you think I'll ever _allow_ a sister of mine to marry a +libertine? + + +JEAN + +[_thinks they are discussing her, and is outraged_] + +But I'm not going to marry him! My engagement is broken. + + [_General consternation. Sobbing, JEAN runs into house._ + + +JOHN + +My God, what next? Lucy, don't let Rex get away! You know what he'll +do--and when he sobers up, it may be too late. [_To ERNEST._] As for +you, you snake, you get right out of here. + + +JUDGE + +[_in the sudden silence_] + +Now you've done it, John. + + +ERNEST + +Oh, very well, this is your property. + + +HELEN + +But _I_ am not! I go, too! + + [_She runs to ERNEST._ + + +THEODORE + +Don't commit this sin! + + +JOHN + +Let her go! She's no sister of mine. + + +JUDGE + +[_the only calm one_] + +If she leaves this house now, it's all up. + + +JOHN + +A woman who will give herself to a man without marriage is no sister of +mine. + + + +HELEN + +[_about to go, turns, leaning on ERNEST. To all_] + +Give!... But if I _sold_ myself, as you are forcing poor little Jean to +do, to a libertine she does not love, who does not love her--that is not +sin! That is respectability! To urge and aid her to entrap a man into +marriage by playing the shameless tricks of the only trade men want +women to learn--that is holy matrimony. But to give yourself of your own +free will to the man you love and trust and can help, the man who loves +and needs and has won the right to have you--oh, if this is sin, then +let me live and die a sinner! + + [_She turns to ERNEST, gives him a look of complete love and + trust, then bursts into tears upon his shoulder, his arms + enfolding her protectingly._ + + + + +ACT III + + + _It is well along in the afternoon of the same busy day of rest. + Most unaccountably--until the JUDGE accounts for it later--the + terrace has been decked out with festoons and flowers since the + excitement of the morning. Japanese lanterns have been hung, + though it is not yet time to light them and though it is Sunday + in a pious household._ + + _Most incongruously and lugubriously, LUCY is pacing to and fro in + silent concern._ + + _THEODORE now comes out of the house, also looking harassed. Lucy + turns to him inquiringly. He shakes his head sadly._ + + +LUCY + +No word from Uncle Everett? + + +THEODORE + +No word. He must have reached town long ago, unless he had tire +trouble.... It's a bad sign, Lucy, a bad sign. He would surely telephone +us. + + +LUCY + +Oh, if he _only_ hadn't missed their train! + + +THEODORE + +[_hopelessly_] + +Uncle Everett is the only one who could have brought them to their +senses. + + +LUCY + +It may not be too late. He took our fastest car, our best chauffeur. + + +THEODORE + +Detectives are to watch all the steamers to-morrow. John telephoned at +once. + + +LUCY + +But to-morrow will be too late! And, oh! when it all comes out in the +newspapers! The ghastly head-lines--"well-known scientist, beautiful +daughter of a prominent family!" Oh! What will people say? + + [_JOHN, hurried and worried, rushes out shouting for LUCY._ + + +JOHN + +Any news? Any news? [_THEODORE and LUCY give him gestures of despair._] +Then it's too late. [_He, too, paces to and fro in fury. Then bracing +up._] Well, I found Rex, over at the Golf Club. Terribly cut up. But +listen; not a drink, not one!... Where's Jean? Got to see her at once. + + +THEODORE + +Locked herself up in her room, John, crying her little heart out! + + +JOHN + +Rex is a changed man, I tell you. We've got to patch it up, and we've +got to do it _quick_! + + +LUCY + +But, John! When the Bakers hear about Helen ... Rex marry into our +family? Never! We're disgraced, John, disgraced! + + +JOHN + +[_impatiently_] + +But they're not _going_ to hear about Helen. No one knows, and no one +_will_. Helen has simply returned to Paris to complete her scientific +research. My press-agent--he's attending to all that. + + +THEODORE + +But questions, gossip, rumor--it's bound to come out in time! + + +JOHN + +In time; but meanwhile, if Jean marries Rex, the Bakers will _have_ to +stand for it. What's more, they'll make _other_ people stand for it. +Backed by the Bakers, no one will _dare_ turn us down.... Our position +in the world, my business relations with the old man--_everything hangs +on little Jean_ now. Tell her I've simply got to see her. [_LUCY +hesitates._] Hurry! Rex is coming over later. [_He catches sight of the +table, festoons, etc._] Heavens! What's all this tomfoolery? + + +LUCY + +[_going_] + +Uncle Everett's orders--he wouldn't stop to explain. He left word to +summon the whole family for dinner. + + [_LUCY goes._ + + +JOHN + +[_shrilly_] + +The whole family!... To-day of all days! + + +THEODORE + +John! You must not, shall not, force Jean to marry this man. + + +JOHN + +[_unappreciated_] + +Haven't I done everything for my sisters? Can't they even _marry_ for +_me_? + + +THEODORE + +The man she loves or none at all. + + +JOHN + +That cub at the law school? No money to keep a wife, no prospects of +any. His father's a college professor. + + +THEODORE + +[_shaking head sadly_] + +"No love without marriage, no marriage without--money!" Ernest +Hamilton's words this morning, when we walked to church. + + +JOHN + +[_watching house expectantly_] + +Survival of the fittest, Theodore, survival of the fittest. + + +THEODORE + +The fittest for what?--for making money! the only kind of fitness +encouraged to survive, to reproduce its species. + + +JOHN + +If the ability to make money is not the test of fitness, what is? + + +THEODORE + +Then you are more fit than a hundred Hamiltons, are you? And Rex? How +fit is he? Rex never made a cent in his life. + + +JOHN + +He's got it, all the same.... See here! Haven't I enough to worry me +without your butting in? Jean's got to marry _some_body, _some_time, +hasn't she? + + +THEODORE + +But not Rex, not if I can prevent it. + + +JOHN + +But you can't--you have nothing to do with it ... except to perform the +ceremony and get a big, fat fee for it. + + +THEODORE + +I--marry Jean and Rex? Never! + + [_JEAN comes out. She is frightened and turns timidly to THEODORE + for protection._ + + +JOHN + +Jean, don't detain Theodore. He has an important business letter to +write. [_THEODORE turns to JOHN indignantly._] Your wife's sanatorium +bills--better settle up before they dun you again. + + +THEODORE + +With your money? + + [_Takes JOHN'S check out of pocket, about to tear it._ + + +JOHN + +[_catching THEODORE'S hand_] + +For Mary's sake, for the children's--don't give way to selfish pride.... +Want to kill your wife? Then take her out of the sanatorium. Want to +ruin your children? Then take them out of school!... Cash your check, I +tell you, and pay your debts! + + [_THEODORE glances at JEAN, at check. A struggle. At bay, he + finally pockets check and dejectedly goes into the house._ + + +JEAN + +[_with a wet handkerchief in hand_] + +Well? If I refuse to marry Rex?... Cut off my allowance or merely bully +me to death? + + +JOHN + +[_kindly_] + +Oh, come! You've filled your romantic little head full of novels. I +never force _any_body to do _any_thing. [_Suddenly breaks out._] My +heavens! what's the matter with all of you? I only want to give you and +Lucy and Helen and Theodore and the whole family the best of everything +in life! And what do I get for it? I'm a brutal husband, a bullying +brother, and a malefactor of wealth. Lord! I guess I have some rights, +even if I have got money! + + +JEAN + +Rex has money, too. Should that give him the right to women? I, too, +have some rights--even though I _am_ a woman. + + +JOHN + +Any woman who can't care enough for a Baker to marry him--Rex is the +sort who would do everything in the world for the woman he loves, +everything. All the Bakers are like that. + + +JEAN + +But what would he do for the woman he no longer loves? + + +JOHN + +He wasn't fool enough to tell you about that? + + +JEAN + +About what? + + +JOHN + +[_halting_] + +Nothing--I thought--I tell you, Rex has reformed. + + +JEAN + +You thought I meant his "past." I meant his future ... and my own. + + +JOHN + +Well, if you expect to find a saint, you'll never get married at all. + + +JEAN + +And if I never married at all? + + +JOHN + +_Then_ what will you do? + + +JEAN + +[_with a wail of despair_] + +That's it--then what _should_ I do--what _could_ I do? Oh, it's so +unfair, so unfair to train girls only for this! What chance, what choice +have I? To live on the bounty of a disapproving brother or a man I do +not love! Oh, how I envy Helen! If I only had a chance, a decent chance! + + +JOHN + +Any sensible girl would envy your chance. You'll never have another like +it. You'll never have another at all! Grab it, I tell you, grab it. +[_REX comes quietly, a determined look on his face, JOHN sees him._] +Now, think, before too late, think hard. Think what it means to be an +old maid. + + [_And leaves them abruptly._ + + + [_JEAN stands alone, looking very pretty in girlish distress. REX + gazes at her a moment and then with sudden passion he silently + rushes over, seizes her in his arms, kisses her furiously._ + + +JEAN + +[_indignant, struggles, frees herself, and rubs her cheek_] + +Ugh! How could you! + + +REX + +Because I love you! + + +JEAN + +Love! It isn't even respect now. + + +REX + +Has that fellow ever kissed you? + + +JEAN + +I have begged you never to refer to him again. + + +REX + +He has! He has held you in his arms. He has kissed your lips, your +cheeks, your eyes! + + +JEAN + +How many women have you held in your arms? Have I ever tried to find +out? + + +REX + +Ah! You don't deny it, you can't. + + +JEAN + +I can! _He_ respects me. I don't deserve it, but he does. + + +REX + +Thank heavens! Oh, you don't know how this has tormented me, little +Jean. The thought of any other man's coming near you--why, I couldn't +have felt the same toward you again, I just couldn't. + + +JEAN + +[_bites her lips--then deliberately_] + +Well, then ... other men have come near me ... other men have kissed me, +Rex. + + +REX + +[_getting wild again_] + +What! When? Where? + + +JEAN + +[_laughing cynically_] + +Oh, in conservatories in town, John's camp in the North Woods, motor +rides in the country--once or twice out here on this very terrace, when +I've felt sentimental in the moonlight. + + +REX + +[_recoiling_] + +Oh! Jean! I never supposed _you_ were that sort! + + +JEAN + +[_with distaste_] + +Oh, I don't make a habit of it! I'm not _that_ sort. But ... well, this +isn't all I could tell you about myself, Rex. + + +REX + +Don't!... Oh, what do you mean--quick. + + +JEAN + +Oh, I've merely been handled, not hurt. Slightly shop-worn but as good +as new. + + +REX + +[_after a pause, quietly_] + +Jean, what makes you say such horribly honest things to me? + + +JEAN + +Yesterday I did you a great unkindness, Rex. I deserve to suffer for +it.... You don't suppose I enjoy talking this way about myself? + + +REX + +I never heard a girl--a nice girl--talk like this before. + + +JEAN + +Naturally not. Usually "nice" girls hide it. It's an instinct in +women--to keep up their value.... Often I've had thoughts and feelings +which "nice" girls of your artificial ideal are supposed never to have +at all. Perfectly natural, too, especially girls of my sort. We have so +little to occupy our minds, except men! To have a useful, absorbing +occupation--it rubs off the bloom, lowers our price in the market, you +see. + + +REX + +Oh, stop!... If you're not going to marry me, say so, but---- + + +JEAN + +But I am!... I am not going to be a dependent old maid. [_REX, +bewildered, only gazes at her._] But, first, I want you to know exactly +what you're getting for your money. That seems only businesslike. + + +REX + +[_recoils_] + +Would you only marry me for that? + + +JEAN + +I told you I loved another man. Do you want me? + + +REX + +[_with jealousy returning_] + +Do I want you! He shan't have you. + + [_He comes close._ + + +JEAN + +Then take me. + + +REX + +[_seizes her passionately_] + +I'll make you love _me_! [_Kisses her triumphantly._] I'll bring a +different light into those cold eyes of yours. Wait until you're +married! Wait until you're awakened. I'll make you forget that man, all +other men. You are to be mine--all mine, all mine! [_During this embrace +JEAN is quite passive, holds up her cheek to be kissed, and when he +seeks her lips she shuts her eyes and gives him her lips. He suddenly +stops, chilled; holding her at arms length._] But I don't care to marry +an iceberg. Can't you love me a little? Haven't you any sentiment in +your cynical little soul ... you irresistible darling! + + +JEAN + +In my soul? Yes! It's only my body I'm selling, you know. + + [_Then deliberately--clearly without passion--throws her arms + about his neck, clinging close and kissing him repeatedly until + REX responds._ + + +REX + +Look out, here comes the parson. + + [_THEODORE comes out of the house._ + + +JEAN + +Oh, Theodore! Rex and I have come to an understanding.... Will you +solemnize our blessed union? + + +THEODORE + +Not unless you truly love each other. Marriage is sacred. + + +JEAN + +[_rapidly_] + +A large church wedding--that will make it sacred. A full choral +service--many expensive flowers--all the smartest people invited--that +always makes the union of two souls sacred. + + +THEODORE + +Those who truly love--their friends should witness the solemn rite, +but---- + + +JEAN + +[_interrupts. To REX_] + +And my wedding gown will be white satin with a point-lace veil caught up +with orange-blossoms and a diamond tiara--"the gift of the groom"--that +ought to make it solemn. + + +THEODORE + +The white veil is the symbol of purity, Jean. + + +JEAN + +[_rattling on wildly_] + +Of purity, Rex, do you hear? Whenever you see a bride in the white +symbol of purity she is pure--that proves it. That makes it all so +beautiful! so sacred! so holy! holy! holy! + + [_Hysterically turns and runs into the house as JOHN comes out._ + + +THEODORE + +[_following_] + +Jean, you must not, you shall not--[_JOHN blocks THEODORE. REX runs in +after JEAN. To JOHN._] John, I warn you! I'll prevent this marriage. +I'll tell every clergyman in the diocese. I'll inform the bishop +himself. This marriage would be a sacrilege. + + +JOHN + +You dare threaten me--after all I've done for you! + + +THEODORE + +Your five thousand was a loan--not a bribe--every cent of it will be +returned. + + +JOHN + +You can't return it. I wouldn't let you if you could. Come, it's all in +the family. [_THEODORE shakes his head._] You know that beautiful Gothic +chapel old man Baker is building on his estate? He likes you. I'll tell +him you're just the man he's looking for--safe and sane--no socialistic +tendencies. + + +THEODORE + +Don't trouble yourself--he offered me the place this morning. + + +JOHN + +You didn't refuse it! + + +THEODORE + +I did--this morning. But since my last talk with you I've reconsidered, +I've telephoned my acceptance. + + +JOHN + +[_genuinely glad_] + +Bully! Great! Why, now you're fixed for life. "Only one kind of fitness +encouraged," eh?... Right always triumphs in the end. Never lose your +faith again, Theodore. + + +THEODORE + +Right? That whited sepulchre! his mill hands dying like flies, his +private life a public scandal! + + +JOHN + +[_with a cynical grin_] + +Then why accept his tainted money? + + +THEODORE + +[_from his soul_] + +To keep my wife alive. To keep my children out of the streets. To keep +myself out of deeper debt to you. That's why I accept it--that's why +many a man sells his soul to the devil.... If I had only myself to +consider--why, to me a little thing like death would be a blessed +luxury. But I, why, John, I cannot afford--even to die. I must +compromise and live--live for those dependent on me.... Your five +thousand will be returned with interest, but your little sister will +not be married to a man she does not want. + + +JOHN + +But Rex wants _her_ and money talks in this world, louder than the +Church. Refuse to marry Baker's son and how long will you keep Baker's +chapel?... Think it over, Theodore, think it over. + + [_Suddenly the JUDGE in motor garments covered with dust comes out + panting, followed by LUCY calling._ + + +LUCY + +Uncle Everett! Uncle Everett! + + +JUDGE + +John! Oh, John! + + +JOHN + +Where is she! + + +THEODORE + +You were too late! + + +JUDGE + +Wait! Give me time to get my breath. + + [_Fans himself with his cap and mops brow._ + + +JOHN + +My detective--didn't he meet their train? + + [_JUDGE nods yes._ + + +LUCY + +But they saw him first? + + [_JUDGE shakes head no._ + + +THEODORE + +Didn't he follow them? + + [_JUDGE nods yes._ + + +JOHN + +Where'd they go? Where are they? Speak, man, speak! + + +JUDGE + +[_raises cap and handkerchief_] + +Now, just give me a chance and I'll tell the whole story.... The +detective was waiting at the station. He saw them step out of the +train. He followed them to the cab-stand. He watched them get into a +taxi--jumped into another himself--and away they went, pursued by the +detective and blissfully ignorant of his existence.... Even now they +don't know they were being watched--or else ... well, they might have +taken another course. + + +LUCY + +Quick! Tell us the worst. + + +JUDGE + +[_hesitates_] + +Well ... they drove straight to Helen's apartment. + + +LUCY + +And you were too late. I thought so. + + +JOHN + +But my detective? + + +JUDGE + +He followed and reported to me when I reached town. + + +LUCY + +Reported what? Tell us all. + + +JUDGE + +First he saw Ernest help Helen out of the taxi--very tenderly, like +this. Little they realized then how every detail was to be reported to +you now! + + +JOHN + +Go on! Go on! + + +JUDGE + +Then the detective saw Ernest deliberately---- + + +LUCY + +Yes, go on. + + +JUDGE + +Deliberately lift his hat like this, say "good afternoon" just like +that, and drive on to his own apartment a mile away. + + [_There is a sudden silence; the others waiting the JUDGE now sits + down._ + + +LUCY + +Oh, is that all? + + +THEODORE + +Why, it's exactly as if they were engaged! + + +JUDGE + +No, Theodore, not _exactly_ as if engaged. + + +JOHN + +You're keeping something back from us! Speak! + + +JUDGE + +[_gets up from chair_] + +Must I tell you? It's rather delicate.... Well, he didn't even step into +the vestibule to kiss her good-by. + + [_All look at each other._ + + +JOHN + +But where are they now? Quick! + + +LUCY + +They met later! I knew it. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, it's true. They are alone together at this very moment. + + +ALL + +Where! Where? + + +JUDGE + +[_pointing to house_] + +There. + + +JOHN + +What! What are they doing here? + + +JUDGE + +[_resumes fanning_] + +Discussing the marriage problem. [_General rejoicing and relief._] Sssh! +Not so loud, you might interrupt them. + + +JOHN + +[_nodding knowingly_] + +Cold feet! Knew he'd lose his job. + + +LUCY + +The disgrace. She couldn't face it. + + +THEODORE + +No, conscience. A deep religious nature. + + [_They all think it over a moment, each sure of his own diagnosis._ + + +JOHN + +[_turning to JUDGE with amusement_] + +So! Decided the soul-mate theory wouldn't work in practice, eh? + + +THEODORE _and_ LUCY + +And they agree to marry? + + +JUDGE + +[_stops fanning_] + +Marry? My, no! Nothing like that. They think less of marriage than ever +now! Helen is using woman's sweet indirect influence on Ernest in there +at this moment! + + [_All start toward the house impulsively, but on second thoughts + they all stop._ + + +JOHN + +Then how on earth did you get them back! + + +JUDGE + +[_lighting cigar_] + +Oh, perfectly simple, I promised Helen you'd apologize to Ernest; +promised Ernest you'd apologize to Helen. [_To LUCY._] Promised both +you'd arrange a nice little family party for 'em. They bear no grudge. +They're too happy. + + +LUCY + +[_horrified. Indicates table_] + +The family party--for _them_? Horrors! + + +JUDGE + +[_tossing away match_] + +Yes, here in your happy home. [_The others turn on the JUDGE +indignantly._] Well, don't jump on _me_. I tell you they positively +decline to elope until after they tell the whole damn family. +Considerate of them, I say. You don't deserve it, if you ask me. + + +JOHN + +[_incredulous_] + +Tell the whole ... see here, are they crazy? Are _you_ crazy? Do you +think _I'm_ crazy? + + [_Impetuously turns toward the house, a man of action._ + + +JUDGE + +[_stopping JOHN_] + +Wait!... You've already done your best to destroy your sister--but +you've utterly failed. They have done nothing wrong--_as yet_. Why, they +are the finest, truest, noblest pair of lovers I ever met! Now, aren't +they, Theodore? + + +THEODORE + +I can't say that I call Helen's ideas of marriage "noble," exactly! + + +JUDGE + +[_grandiloquent_] + +She is willing to sacrifice even marriage for his career. Isn't that +noble? And he! willing to sacrifice even his career for marriage. Both +noble, if you ask me. + + +JOHN + +[_loud_] + +Noble tommy-rot!--a pair of pig-headed, highbrow fools! They don't have +to sacrifice anything for anybody. Can't they work together just as well +married as unmarried? + + +JUDGE + +[_slyly_] + +That's what I said to her, but you had already convinced her that it was +impractical. Work and marriage--"combine the two, and you'll fail at +both"--your own warning, John. + + +JOHN + +[_angry_] + +B'r'r--you think you're very funny, don't you! But that's my sister in +there, planning to be that fellow's mistress--right here in my own +house! Anything funny about that! + + +JUDGE + +[_stepping aside_] + +All right, go put a stop to it then! [_JOHN starts toward house._] It's +your own house--turn her out again. [_JOHN stops short._] What are you +going to do about it, John? [_JOHN has no answer._] Drive little Jean +into marriage with a man she does not love--she is an old-fashioned +girl. But your other sister--you can't make her marry even the man she +does love, unless she sees fit. She is the New Woman! Society can no +longer force females into wedlock--so it is forcing them out ... by the +thousands! Approve of it? Of course not. But what good will our +disapproval do? They will only laugh at you. The strike is on. Few of +the strikers will let you see it. Few of the strikers have Helen's +courage. But, believe it or not, the strike will spread. It cannot be +crushed by law or force. Unless society wakes up and reforms its rules +and regulations of marriage, marriage is doomed.... What are you going +to do about it? [_Silence._] I thought so--nothing. Call them bad women +and let it go at that. Blame it all on human nature, made by God, and +leave untouched our human institutions, made by man. You poor little +pessimists! human nature to-day is better than it ever was, but our most +important institution is worse--the most sacred relationship in life has +become a jest in the market-place.... You funny little cowards, you're +afraid of life, afraid of love, afraid of truth. You worship lies, and +call it God! + + +JOHN + +[_interrupts_] + +All right, all right--but we can't change marriage overnight just to +suit Helen. What are _you_ going to do about it? + + +JUDGE + +There's just one thing to do. Will you back me up in everything I say? + + +JOHN + +[_acknowledging his own defeat_] + +Anything--everything. + + +JUDGE + +Then tell Helen she doesn't have to marry, that, with the best +intentions, the Church has made a muddle of monogamy. + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + JUDGE: You poor little pessimists! Human nature to-day is better + than it ever was, but our most important institution is worse--the + most sacred relationship in life has become a jest in the + market-place.] + + +THEODORE + +Uncle Everett, I protest. + + +JUDGE + +That we all admire their consecrated courage and advise their trying +this conscientious experiment. + + +JOHN + +Not if I have anything to say about it! + + +JUDGE + +But you haven't. Do please get that through your head.... Theodore, +they've talked enough, ask them to step out here and receive John's +blessing. [_Impatiently._] Go on--I'll fix John. [_THEODORE goes._] [_To +JOHN, who is about to burst forth._] Oh, see here, did you ever pull a +dog into the house against his will?... Let him alone and he'll follow +you in, wag his tail, and lick your hand. + + +JOHN + +You mean, they'll come in, be respectable? + + +JUDGE + +Admit that marriage has numerous drawbacks--and they'll see its +advantages. Deny it--and they'll see nothing but each other. Marriage +_is_ in a bad way, but it's the less of two evils. Marriage _must_ +adjust itself to the New Woman--_but_ the New Woman must meanwhile +adjust herself to marriage. [_Briskly to LUCY._] Now, then, did you send +out that hurry call for the family this evening? + + +LUCY + +Yes, they're on their way here now, but Uncle Everett, Doctor Hamilton +said, next week. + + +JUDGE + +Yes, I know--it'll be a little surprise party for Helen.... Did you +order some music? + + +LUCY + +Yes, the musicians are to be stationed in the library. + + +JUDGE + +Excellent, excellent. [_Indicates tables and festoons._] All that junk +will help, too. A good Sunday supper this evening, Lucy; your best +champagne, John--gay spirits, family affection, warm approval, toasts to +the future. Why, all we'll have to do is--[_Breaks off._] Here they +come. Now follow my lead. They've done a lot of thinking since you saw +them last, but--make one misstep and it's all off. + + +LUCY + +Be nice to her, John. It was just a girlish impulse. + + [_JOHN opens arms to receive HELEN._ + + +JOHN + +My sister! All is forgiven. + + +HELEN + +[_stops short, her lip curls_] + +_You_ forgive _me_? + + [_Before JOHN can reply, THEODORE and ERNEST follow, talking._ + + +ERNEST + +But I tell you he had a perfect right to put me off his property. The +thing I can't overlook--[_Sees JOHN and LUCY. Points finger at them +accusingly._] Theodore has told me what you thought.... Please don't +judge us by yourselves again--you licentious-minded married people! + + [_He shrugs his shoulders with fastidious disgust and turns his + back upon them._ + + +JOHN + +[_gasping_] + +Well, I'll be damned. + + +JUDGE + +[_whispers_] + +Stand for it--he's right. + + +THEODORE + +But Ernest ... I'm bound to say when two people run away together---- + + +ERNEST + +Ah, Theodore! you, too? Are all married people alike? Did we want to +"run away" as you call it? Did we not ask for a week to think it over? +Did we not stipulate that in any case we must frankly face the family +first? But this person--what did he do? he ordered us off his property, +like trespassers! What could we do? Sit down in the road and wait a +week? Bah! we went home--you suspicious married people, you +hypocritical, unspeakable married people! [_JUDGE has difficulty in +restraining JOHN._] Why, I believe our good friend the Judge here is the +only decent-minded, properly married person on your property. + + +JOHN + +[_bursting out_] + +Decent-minded--why, he's div---- + + [_LUCY stops him._ + + +JUDGE + +[_steps in_] + +Dev-oted to his wife. Lucy is jealous of what I'm doing for my wife. +[_Controls laughter._] Now come, we must all just let bygones be +bygones. We know your intentions are honorable, your courage admirable; +and for whatever was amiss in word, deed, or thought, we all humbly +apologize--don't we, John? [_JOHN bows uncomfortably._] Lucy? Theodore? +And now I want you all to tell Ernest and Helen what you told me--that +their arguments against marriage are unanswerable, their logic +unimpeachable, and we no longer have the slightest intention or desire +to get them divorced by matrimony. [_JOHN, THEODORE, and LUCY look +dubious. JUDGE crosses over and pinches them. HELEN and ERNEST are +utterly bewildered._] Why, we wouldn't let a little thing like marriage +come between them for the world, would we, John? would we, Lucy? would +we, Theodore? + + +JOHN + +[_with an effort_] + +I agree with Uncle Everett entirely. + + +JUDGE + +And you, Theodore? + + +THEODORE + +[_in a low voice_] + +Perfectly. + + +JUDGE + +And you, Lucy? + + +LUCY + +[_with a nervous glance at JOHN_] + +Absolutely. + + +JUDGE + +[_to the lovers_] + +There. You see? + + [_ERNEST looks from one to the other in amazement._ + + +HELEN + +[_laughing_] + +I don't believe a word of it! + + +JUDGE + +Why not? why not? + + +HELEN + +Very well, then invite the whole family here next Sunday! + + +JUDGE + +They'll be here in an hour. + + [_Points to tables._ + + +HELEN _and_ ERNEST + +[_recoiling_] + +In an hour! + + +JUDGE + +Yes, you are to begin your new life together this evening! Isn't it +lovely? + + +HELEN + +[_gasping_] + +But that's so sudden. Why, we--we aren't ready. + + +THEODORE + +Just as ready as you'll ever be. + + +JUDGE + +Ernest's vacation begins to-morrow--your honeymoon. + + +HELEN + +But, don't you see---- + + +LUCY + +Those new Paris clothes John gave you--your trousseau. + + +ERNEST + +Well, but---- + + +JUDGE + +And this family gathering this evening, your--in a manner of +speaking--wedding party. [_Waving aside all the lovers' objections._] +Now, it's all fixed, let's go and dress for the--as it were--ceremony. + + +ERNEST + +[_blocks the way. Serious_] + +Wait! Did I ever say I would not marry this woman? + + [_All stop, turn, exchange glances._ + + +JUDGE + +[_apart_] + +Ah! a broad-minded chap. + + +JOHN + +[_with a wink at JUDGE_] + +Ah! so you think you'd like to marry my sister after all? + + +ERNEST + +Oh, you're an ass! What have I been doing for the past twenty-four +hours? Begging her to marry me. What have you been doing? Preventing it. +Why did I postpone sailing for a week? Why did I insist upon the family +party? [_Comes nearer to JOHN._] You're an idiot. + + +JUDGE + +[_pinching JOHN_] + +Stand for it, John. You've got to stand for it. Tell him you love him +like a brother ... in-law. + + +JOHN + +[_controls himself_] + +Well, I ... I--you have my consent, Doctor Hamilton, I'm sure. + + +ERNEST + +_Your_ consent! What's that got to do with it? [_They all turn toward +HELEN. ERNEST steps between them._] Now wait!... This morning you tried +bullying. Did it work? This afternoon bluffing. Think _that_ will work? +[_Hand on HELEN'S shoulder._] You can't frighten her into marriage. I've +tried that myself. We've got to appeal to some higher motive than +self-interest or superstition with _this_ woman, racial motives, +unselfish motives. [_With force._] But don't talk to me about her being +"immoral." I won't stand for it. If you want her to marry, prove the +morality of marriage. + + +THEODORE + +The "morality of marriage"! What next? + + +ERNEST + +[_to THEODORE_] + +That's what I said--the morality of _marriage_! This woman is not on +trial before you. Marriage is on trial before her, and thus far I'm +bound to say you've not made out a good case for it. But simply +_justify_ her marrying me, and--I give you my word--you can perform the +ceremony this very evening. No license is required in this State, you +know. + + [_This creates a sensation._ + + +JUDGE + +Now, what could be fairer than that! [_To HELEN._] Do you agree to this? + + +HELEN + +[_she nods_] + +We agree in everything. + + +JUDGE + +_Both_ broad-minded! + + +HELEN + +[_quietly_] + +I never said I did not believe in a legal wedding--[_others surprised_] +for those who can afford the luxury of children.... But for those who +have to take it out in working for other people's children all their +lives--a ceremony seems like a subterfuge. Without children I don't see +how any marriage is ever consummated--socially. + + +THEODORE + +Ah, but this relationship--it's a sacred thing in itself. + + +HELEN + +[_sincerely_] + +I know it. I want to do right, Theodore, please believe that I do! But +the kind of marriage preached by the Church and practised by the +world--does that cherish the real sacredness of this relationship? Of +course, I can only judge from appearances, but so often marriage seems +to destroy the sacredness--yes, and also the usefulness--of this +relationship! + + +ERNEST + +But, my dear girl---- + + +HELEN + +[_smiles_] + +He thinks so, too. Only he has a quaint, mannish notion that he must +"protect me." [_To ERNEST, patting his arm._] Haven't you, dear! + + [_Again she has raised the shield of flippancy._ + + +JUDGE + +What did I tell you, Theodore? The old marriage doesn't fit the New +Woman. A self-supporting girl like Helen objects to obeying a mere +man--like Ernest. + + +HELEN + +[_patting the JUDGE'S arm affectionately, too_] + +Uncle Everett, you know nothing about it! You think you understand the +new generation. The only generation you understand is the one which +clamored for "Woman's Rights." [_To ERNEST._] I obey you already--every +day of my life, do I not, dear? [_Looking up into his face._] You're my +"boss," aren't you, Ernest? [_To JUDGE._] But I do object to contracting +by law for what is better done by love. + + +JUDGE + +[_laughs fondly_] + +But suppose the promise to obey were left out? + + +HELEN + +But the contract to love--[_To THEODORE._] that's so much worse, it +seems to me. Obedience is a mere matter of will, is it not? But when a +man promises to love until death---- + + +THEODORE + +Are you so cold, so scientific, so _unsexed_, that you cannot trust the +man you love? + + +HELEN + +Why, Theodore, if I didn't trust him I'd _marry_ him! Contracts are not +for those who trust--they're for those who don't. + + +LUCY + +[_takes HELEN apart_] + +Now, I may be old-fashioned, Helen, but I'm a married woman, and I know +men. You never can tell, my dear, you never can tell. + + +HELEN + +Do you think I'd live with a man who did not love me? Do you think I'd +live _on_ a man I did not love? [_LUCY blinks._] Why, what kind of a +woman should I be then! The name wife--would that change it? Calling it +holy--would that hallow it?... Every woman, married or not, knows the +truth about this! In her soul woman has always known. But until to-day +has never dared to tell. + + +ERNEST + +[_approaching HELEN_] + +Oh, come now--those vows--they aren't intended in a literal sense. Ask +Theodore. Why, no sane person means half of that gibberish. "With all my +worldly goods I thee endow"--millions of men have said it--how many ever +did it? How many clergymen ever expect them to!... It's all a polite +fiction in beautiful, sonorous English. + + +HELEN + +The most sacred relationship in life! Ernest, shall you and I enter it +unadvisedly, lightly, and with LIES on our lips?... Simply because +others do? + + +ERNEST + +[_a little impatient_] + +But the whole world stands for this. And the world won't stand for that. + + +HELEN + +Is that reverently, soberly, and in the fear of God? No, cynically, +selfishly, and in the fear of man. I don't want to be obstinate, I don't +like to set myself up as "holier than thou," but, Ernest, unless we +begin honestly, we'll end dishonestly. Somehow marriage seems wicked to +me. + + +JUDGE + +[_nudging THEODORE_] + +How do you like that? + + +THEODORE + +John is right--they've gone mad. + + +ERNEST + +All the same, you've got to marry me--you've simply _got_ to. + + +HELEN + +You are mistaken. I do _not_ have to marry _any one_. I can support +myself. + + +ERNEST + +Then I'm disappointed in you. + + +HELEN + +And I in you. + + +ERNEST + +I thought you were sensible. + + +HELEN + +I thought you were honest. + + +ERNEST + +Honest! You accuse me of dishonesty? + + +HELEN + +You don't believe in "half of that gibberish." Yet you are willing to +work the Church for our own worldly advantage! You are willing to +prostitute the most sacred thing in life!... If that is not dishonest, +what is! + + +ERNEST + +And you are the woman I love and want to marry! In all my life I was +never accused of dishonesty before. + + +HELEN + +You never tried to marry before. No one is honest about marriage. + + +ERNEST + +I never shall try again. I'm going to Paris to-morrow and I'm going +alone. + + +HELEN + +Then do it. Don't threaten it so often--do it. + + +ERNEST + +I shall. And I'll never come back. + + +HELEN + +Nobody asked you to. + + +ERNEST + +Helen--for the last time--just for my sake--marry me. + + +HELEN + +For the last time--no! no! NO!! I won't be a hypocrite even for your +sake. + + [_She turns away, he starts off, then stops, rushes over to her._ + + +ERNEST + +[_holds out arms_] + +I can't. You know it. Without you I'm nothing. + + +HELEN + +[_taking both his hands_] + +Without you.... Oh, my dear, my dear. + + +ERNEST + +Forgive me, forgive me. + + +HELEN + +It was all my fault. + + +ERNEST + +No, I was a brute. I'm not worthy of you. + + +HELEN + +[_covering his lips with her hand_] + +Sssh--I can't stand it--I was perfectly horrid to you. And you were +doing it all for my sake. [_Laughing and crying._] You dear old thing--I +knew it all the time. + + [_They seem about to embrace._ + + +JUDGE + +[_shaking with laughter_] + +Was there ever in the world anything like it!... Well, children, see +here. He's willing to lie for your sake. She's willing to die for your +sake. Now, why not just split the difference and have a civil ceremony +for _our_ sake. + + +THEODORE + +No, they will marry for a better reason. Think of the _sin_ of it! [_To +HELEN._] Have you no sense of sin? + + +JUDGE + +If not, think of the humor of it! Have you no sense of humor? + + +HELEN + +[_still drying eyes and smiling to JUDGE_] + +Not a scrap. Neither has Ernest. Have you, dear? + + +ERNEST + +I _hope_ not--judging from those who always say they have. + + +THEODORE + +[_solemnly_] + +Helen, look at Ernest--Ernest look at Helen. [_The lovers do so._] Look +into each other's very souls!... You know, you _must_ know, that in the +eyes of God this thing would be a sin, a heinous sin. + + [_The lovers gaze deep into each other's eyes in silence._ + + +ERNEST + +[_tremulous from the emotion he has just been through_] + +The glory and the gladness I see in this woman's eyes a sin? Her trust +in me, my worship of her, our new-found belief in a future life, our +greater usefulness together in this--bah! don't talk to me about sin! +Such women cannot sin--they love. + + +JOHN + +[_tired out_] + +Oh, you can talk all night, but this is a practical world. How long +could you keep your job in the institute? Then how'll you live! Private +practice? No respectable home will let you inside the door. + + +ERNEST + +I've seen the inside of respectable homes. I want no more. [_Taking from +his pocket a piece of paper._] This morning I came to ask for your +sister's hand in marriage. Your manners did not please me. So I cabled +over to Metchnikoff. [_Hands cablegram to JOHN._] His answer. Positions +await us both at the Pasteur Institute in Paris. That luxurious suite on +to-morrow's steamer still waits in my name. + + +THEODORE + +Ernest! Stop! Think! This woman's soul is in your hands. + + [_ERNEST seems to hesitate. HELEN crosses to him. JUDGE seizes + JOHN, whispers, and shoves him across._ + + +JOHN + +Doctor Hamilton! I apologize!... You're a man of the world. You know +what this means--she doesn't. She is in your power--for God's sake go to +Paris without her. + + [_JOHN tries to lead HELEN away from ERNEST. She shudders at + JOHN'S masterful touch and clings to her lover._ + + +ERNEST + +And leave her here in _your_ power? Never again! You've forced her out +of her work--you'd force her into legalized prostitution, if you could, +like her innocent little sister. [_Snatches HELEN away from JOHN._] No, +married or not, she sails with me in the morning. That's final. + + [_The lovers turn away together._ + + +JUDGE + +Where are you going? + + +HELEN + +To ask Marie to pack my trunk. + + +ERNEST + +To telephone for a motor. + + +JUDGE + +But you won't start until after the family party? + + +ERNEST + +Of course not. + + [_In a sudden silence HELEN and ERNEST walk into the house, + leaving the family in despair._ + + +JUDGE + +[_after a long sigh, to JOHN_] + +I knew you'd bungle it, I knew it--but there's still a chance, just one +more card to play. + + [_The BUTLER comes out._ + + +LUCY + +Good heavens! Already? + + +BUTLER + +Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby, Doctor and Mrs. Grey, and the Misses Grey. + + +LUCY + +[_flurried_] + +And we're not even dressed! + + +JUDGE + +No matter. It's Sunday--many orthodox people ... why, Mr. Baker won't +even dine out on Sunday. + + [_Enter the persons announced. Greetings._ "How warm it is for + September." ... "And how's the baby, Margaret?" _etc._ + + _JOHN and JUDGE apart are planning excitedly. JEAN and REX come + out, and finally HELEN, followed by ERNEST._ + + +BUTLER + +Dinner is served, ma'am. + + [_The SECOND MAN touches button. Japanese lanterns glow, silver + shines, and all move toward the tables, a happy, united family._ + + +LUCY + +[_going-to-dinner manner as she leads the way_] + +We can hardly go out formally because we're already out, you know. Aunt +Susan, will you sit over there on John's right? Doctor Hamilton by me? +Rex on the other side? + + +JOHN + +Here, Helen. No, Jean, you are beside Rex, you know. + + +JUDGE + +Until married, then you're separated. + + +LUCY + +Cousin Charlie--that's it. [_All take their places._] Most extraordinary +weather for September, isn't it? + + +JUDGE + +[_he slaps his cheek_] + +Isn't it? + + +LUCY + +[_shocked and hurt_] + +That's the first mosquito I have ever known on our place. + + +JOHN + +[_indignantly_] + +We never have mosquitoes here. You must have been mistaken. + + [_The servants are passing in and out of house with courses. The + BUTLER now brings a telegram to JUDGE._ + + +JUDGE + +From Julia! [_Tears it open eagerly, reads, and then shouts._] She's +coming back to me, she's coming back! Look at that, look at that! + + [_Jumps up and shows telegram to JOHN. Then taking it around to + LUCY he sings to tune of "Merrily we roll along"_: + + Aunt Julia is coming back + Coming back--coming back + Aunt Julia is coming back + Coming back from Reno. + + +HELEN + +[_laughing_] + +From Reno? That sounds like divorce, Uncle Everett. + + +JUDGE + +Like divorce? Does that sound like divorce? [_Takes telegram from LUCY +and hands it to HELEN._] Read it aloud. + + +HELEN + +[_reading_] + +"Dear boy, I can't stand it, either. Come to me or I go to you." + + +JUDGE + +[_sings during the reading_] + +Coming back from Reno. [_Breaks off--to HELEN._] So you thought we +wanted a divorce, did you? + + + [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._ + + JUDGE: We thought we believed in trial marriage. Nothing of the + sort--trial separation! What marriage put asunder divorce has + joined together.] + + +HELEN + +I never dreamed of such a thing. + + +JUDGE + +[_looks at her a moment, then in a burst_] + +Well, _I_ did. The dream of my life--your Aunt Julia's, too. We thought +we believed in trial marriage, but we don't--we believe in trial +_separation_! + + +THEODORE + +[_uncomfortably_] + +They thought they didn't love each other, but they do, you see. + + +JUDGE + +We don't, we don't, but we can't get along without each other ... got +the habit of having each other around and can't break it.... This +morning I telegraphed: "Are you doing this just for my sake?" She +replied, "Tutti-frutti." [_Sings._] Aunt Julia's coming back. Oh, I'm +too happy to eat. [_Singing, while others eat and drink_: + + Coming back, coming back, + Aunt Julia is coming back + Coming back from Reno. + +And I don't care who knows it. The more the better for marriage. The +truth--give me more truth, give me more--champagne. [_BUTLER fills glass +as JUDGE raises it._] Here's to your Aunt Julia, the best wife--I ever +had. [_All rise, drink, laugh, and sit down._] And I'll never, never get +another.... You know I thought maybe I might. Oh, Everett, Everett, you +sly dog, you old idiot you! + + +JOHN + +[_arises, clearing throat, tapping on glasses for silence_] + +And now, speaking of divorce, I have an engagement to announce. [_Some +laughter but all quiet down. He smiles at JEAN._] Of course, you can't +guess whose. Friends, it is my privilege to announce the engagement of +my good friend Rex Baker to my dear sister Jean. [_Gentle applause and +congratulations. Music begins._] And so I will now ask all to arise and +drink to the health and prosperity of my little sister and my +brother-in-law to be! And my best wish is that they will be as happy as +my better half and me. [_All cheer and drink health standing._] Speech, +Rex! + + [_Some of them playfully try to put him on his feet._ + + +REX + +[_shaking his head and maintaining his seat_] + +I can't make a speech. I'm too happy for words--See-what-I-mean? + + +HELEN + +[_in a low, significant tone_] + +Jean, aren't you going to say something? + + +JEAN + +[_arises, all silent, she looks at LUCY, REX, JOHN_] + +Words cannot describe my happiness, either. + + [_She resumes her seat, and all gather round to congratulate JEAN + and REX._ + + +JOHN + +[_rapping for quiet_] + +One moment, one moment. Another toast, another toast! [_Others quiet +down._] We have with us to-night one who, in honoring whom we honor +ourselves, one who with capital back of him would soon become the +greatest scientist in America! [_JUDGE leads applause_, "hear, hear!" +_etc. JOHN raises glass._] To the distinguished guest whom I am proud +to welcome to my humble board, to the noble humanitarian whom Mr. Baker +delights to honor, to the good friend whom we all admire and trust, +Doctor Ernest Hamilton! + + [_All applaud and about to drink health, JUDGE jumps up._ + + +JUDGE + +And to his fair collaborator! the brave woman who at this modern +warrior's side daily risks her life for others, handling death and +disease in those mighty but unsung battles for the common weal! +[_Applause._] A New Woman? No, friends, look behind the stupid names the +mob would cast, like stones to destroy, look and you will see your true +conservative--willing to appear radical in order to conserve woman's +work in the world! willing to appear ridiculous to right ancient wrongs! +willing even to appear _wrong_--for those she loves! Ah, the same +old-fashioned woman we all adore, in a form so new we blindly fail to +understand her glorious advent before our very eyes! To Helen, the +gracious embodiment of all that is sweetest, noblest, and best in +womanhood--to Helen! Our lovely Helen! + + +JOHN + +[_up again at once_] + +Family approval, social esteem, and an honored career--all this is +theirs for the asking! To-day to me they have confessed their +love--to-night to you I now announce ... their engagement! Long life and +happiness to Helen and Ernest! + + [_Great enthusiasm--even pounding on the table. ERNEST arises, + looking surprised. JOHN signalling to rest of family to join in._ + + +THE FAMILY + +[_glasses raised, drowning out ERNEST_] + +Long life and happiness, long life and happiness! + + +ERNEST + +[_raises hand_] + +Wait! Before you drink this toast.... [_The glasses stop midway. Sudden +silence._] Your congratulations we appreciate, your kind wishes we +desire--but not on false pretences. We are not engaged to be married. + + [_In the tense silence a shudder ripples the family joy._ + + +REX + +[_apart to JEAN_] + +Gee! They had a scrap, too? + + +JOHN + +[_up, nervously. ERNEST still standing_] + +If I may interrupt.... He has financial reasons--I respect him for +it. But this very day the Baker Institute in recognition of Doctor +Hamilton's distinguished services to humanity has doubled his +salary--doubled it! It's all right now--it's all right. + + +REX + +[_apart to JEAN_] + +Four thousand, eh?... get a very decent touring car for that. + + +ERNEST + +[_to all_] + +That is very kind, but that is not the point. True, our mutual needs are +such that we cannot live nor work apart, but our convictions are such +that we cannot live and work _together_--in what you have the humor to +call "holy wedlock." Now, Helen, the motor is waiting. + + [_Sensation. Gasps of amazement and horror. Some jump up from + table. A chair is upset. ERNEST holds HELEN'S wrap. General + movement and murmurs._ + + +JOHN + +[_barring way_] + +You leave this house only over my dead body. + + [_Others gather around lovers._ + + +JUDGE + +[_to all_] + +Stand back!... Let him among you who has a purer ideal of love, a higher +conception of duty cast the first stone. + + [_All stop. Silenced._ + + +THEODORE + +But this man and this woman would destroy marriage! + + +JUDGE + +[_standing beside lovers_] + +No! Such as they will not destroy marriage--they will save it! They +restore the vital substance while we preserve the empty shell. +Everything they have said, everything they have done, proves it. The +promise to love--they could not help it--they took it--I heard them. The +instinct for secrecy--they felt it--we all do--but straightway they told +the next of kin. [_Points to JOHN._] Even when insulted and driven forth +from the tribe, they indignantly refused to be driven into each other's +arms until you of the same blood could hear them plight their troth! +Believe in marriage? Why, there never was, there never will be a more +perfect tribute to true marriage than from this fearless pair you now +accuse of seeking to destroy it! [_JOHN tries to interrupt, but the +JUDGE waves him down._] They have been not only honorable but +old-fashioned, save in the one orthodox detail of accepting the +authority constituted by society for its protection and for _theirs_. +[_To HELEN and ERNEST._] But now, I'm sure, before starting on their +wedding journey--another old-fashioned convention they believe in--that, +just to please us if not themselves, they will consent to be united in +the bonds of holy wedlock by Cousin Theodore who stands ready and +waiting with prayer-book in hand. + + [_Family subsides. Everybody happy. THEODORE steps up, opens + prayer-book._ + + +THEODORE + +"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God----" + + +HELEN + +[_suddenly loud and clear_] + +Theodore! are you going to marry Rex and Jean? + + +JOHN + +[_impatiently_] + +Of course, of course, Mr. Baker's chaplain. + + +ERNEST + +[_recoiling_] + +Theodore! You! Are you going to stand up and tell the world that God has +joined those two together--GOD? + + [_THEODORE looks at JOHN but does not deny it and says nothing._ + + +HELEN + +Then you will be blaspheming love--and God who made it. No, you shall +not marry us. + + +ERNEST + +[_agreeing with HELEN_] + +Some things are too sacred to be profaned. + + +THEODORE + +[_overwhelmed_] + +Profaned?... By the Church? + + +JOHN + +Your love too sacred for the Church? The Church has a name for such +love! The world a name for such women! + + +ERNEST + +[_about to strike JOHN, then shrugs_] + +A rotten world! A kept Church! Come, let's get away from it all! Come! + + [_HELEN offers her hand in farewell to LUCY, but JOHN shields + her from HELEN'S touch, then to JEAN. REX shields JEAN from + contamination, but JEAN weeps._ + + +JUDGE + +[_barring the way. To ERNEST_] + +Stop! You cannot! The very tie that binds you to this woman binds you to +us and to the whole world with hooks of steel! [_The lovers are still +going, JUDGE ascends steps, facing them._] For the last time! before too +late! ERNEST! You _know_ that in the eyes of God you _are_ taking this +woman to be your wife. + + +ERNEST + +In the eyes of _God_, I _do_ take Helen to be my wife--but---- + + +JUDGE + +You, Helen! Speak, woman, speak! + + +HELEN + +I take Ernest to be my husband in the eyes of God, but---- + + +JUDGE + +[_raises his hand augustly and in a voice of authority_] + +Then, since you, Ernest, and you, Helen, have made this solemn +declaration before God and in the presence of witnesses, I, by the +authority vested in me by the laws of this State do now pronounce you +man and wife! + + [_MR. and MRS. HAMILTON look at each other bewildered. Meanwhile + the silence has been pierced, first by a little hysterical scream + from JEAN, then the others all wake up and crowd about the happy + pair, congratulating them. The women who had snubbed HELEN before + cover her with kisses, for now she is fit for their embraces._ + + +JOHN + +[_to THEODORE_] + +Saved! Saved! Respectable at last, thank God. [_Raising his glass and +hammering for attention._] Here's to the bride and groom. + + [_ALL cheer, raise glasses, and drink._ + + +ERNEST + +[_when the noise dies down. As the others kiss HELEN_] + +A moment ago you were a bad woman. Now [_to all_] behold! she is a good +woman. Marriage is wonderful. + + [_JOHN and LUCY run to JUDGE and shake hands._ + + +JUDGE + +[_to JOHN and LUCY, his wife_] + +Yes, Respectability has triumphed this time, but let Society take +warning and beware! beware! beware! + + + +CURTAIN + + * * * * * + + + + +BY JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS + + + PRINCETON STORIES (1895). + + THE ADVENTURES OF A FRESHMAN (1899). + + THE STOLEN STORY, AND OTHER NEWSPAPER STORIES (1899). + + NEW YORK SKETCHES (1902). + + THE DAY-DREAMER (1906). Being a novelization of the four-act + comedy, "The Stolen Story." + + THE GIRL AND THE GAME, AND OTHER COLLEGE STORIES (1908). + + THE MARRIED LIFE OF THE FREDERIC CARROLLS (1910). + + REMATING TIME (1916). + + WHY MARRY? (1918). New edition of "And So They Were Married." + + +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Why Marry?, by Jesse Lynch Williams + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHY MARRY? *** + +***** This file should be named 35389.txt or 35389.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/3/8/35389/ + +Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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