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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Why Marry?, by Jesse Lynch Williams
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Why Marry?
+
+Author: Jesse Lynch Williams
+
+Release Date: February 24, 2011 [EBook #35389]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WHY MARRY? ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+WHY MARRY?
+
+
+
+  [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._
+
+      HELEN: You're about the most conceited man I ever knew.
+      ERNEST: How can I help it, when you admire me so?  [_Page_ 94.
+  ]
+
+
+
+  WHY MARRY?
+
+  (Originally published under the title
+  "And So They Were Married")
+
+  BY
+  JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS
+
+  [Illustration]
+
+  ILLUSTRATED
+
+
+  [Illustration: Banner Play Bureau
+  111 Ellis Street
+  San Francisco, California]
+
+
+  PUBLISHED BY
+  CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS
+
+
+
+  COPYRIGHT, 1914, 1918, BY
+  CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS
+
+  _Published October, 1914_
+
+  _New and revised edition published April, 1918_
+  _Reprinted September, 1918; February, 1919_
+
+
+  [All rights strictly reserved--including amateur acting rights.]
+
+
+  [Illustration]
+
+
+
+  TO
+  HARRIET AND JAMES LEES LAIDLAW
+
+
+
+
+WHY MARRY?
+
+
+A Comedy in Three Acts
+
+    New York: Astor Theatre: Produced by Selwyn & Company, Dec. 25,
+    1917, under the direction of Roi Cooper Megrue.
+
+    The scene is a week-end at a country house not far away; the time,
+    Saturday afternoon, Sunday morning, and Sunday evening.
+
+
+THE PEOPLE AT THE HOUSE (As You Meet Them)
+
+  JEAN, the host's younger sister, who has been brought
+    up to be married and nothing else                       LOTUS ROBB
+
+  REX, an unmarried neighbor, who has not been brought
+    up to be anything but rich                             HAROLD WEST
+
+  LUCY, the hostess, who is trying her best to be "just
+    an old-fashioned wife" in a new-fashioned home,   BEATRICE BECKLEY
+
+  UNCLE EVERETT, a Judge, who belongs to the older
+    generation and yet understands the new--and
+    believes in divorce                                 NAT C. GOODWIN
+
+  COUSIN THEODORE, a clergyman and yet a human being,
+    who believes in everything--except divorce,         ERNEST LAWFORD
+
+  JOHN, who owns the house and almost every one in
+    it--and does not believe in divorce                  EDMUND BREESE
+
+  HELEN, the host's other sister, whom every one wants
+    to marry, but who doesn't want to marry any one,   ESTELLE WINWOOD
+
+  ERNEST, a scientist, who believes in neither divorce
+    nor marriage but makes a great discovery              SHELLEY HULL
+                                 (By arrangement with George C. Tyler)
+
+  THE BUTLER                                            RICHARD PITMAN
+
+  THE FOOTMAN                                           WALTER GOODSON
+
+
+
+
+ADVANCE NOTICE BY THE AUTHOR
+
+
+One afternoon shortly before the New York "opening" of this comedy a
+most estimable lady sat down to make me a cup of tea.
+
+"Now, do tell me, what is your play about?" she inquired with
+commendable enthusiasm. For, being a true woman, she had early achieved
+the becoming habit of letting members of the superior sex talk about
+themselves.
+
+"'Why Marry?'" said I, "tells the truth about marriage."
+
+"Oh, why," she expostulated, "why write unpleasant plays?"
+
+"But it is not 'unpleasant.'"
+
+"Then it isn't true!" she exclaimed. "That is, I mean--I mean--did you
+say cream or lemon?"
+
+And in the pause which accompanied the pouring of the cream I detected
+the look of one realizing too late that it is always better to think
+before speaking.
+
+This little incident, it seemed to me, epitomizes charmingly the
+attitude of "our nicest people" toward our fundamental institution. The
+truth about marriage must be unpleasant. Therefore, tell us something
+we know isn't true. It will be so much nicer for our young people.
+
+It is to be feared, however, that young people who go to see "Why
+Marry?" in the hope of being shocked do not get their money's worth. I
+have heard of but two persons who have been scandalized by this play,
+and they were both old people. One was a woman in the country who had
+not seen it, but had read the title, and so wrote several indignant
+letters about it. The other was an elderly bachelor of the type which
+finds useful occupation in decorating club windows like geraniums. He
+took his niece to see it, and, deciding at the end of Act II that the
+play was going to be unpleasant in Act III, took her home at once. The
+next afternoon she appeared at the matinee with a whole bevy of her own
+generation and saw the rest of the play. I asked her later if it had
+shocked any of them.
+
+"Oh, no," she replied, "we are too young to be shocked."
+
+That little incident also struck me as socially significant. There never
+were two generations inhabiting the same globe simultaneously with such
+widely separated points of view.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For several years after this play was first published no theatrical
+manager on Broadway would produce it. I don't blame them, I want to
+thank them for it. I doubt if this sort of thing could have appealed to
+many theatre-goers then, especially as my young lovers are trying to be
+good, not bad. "Self-expression" and "the right to happiness" do not
+enter into their plans. The causes of their courageous and, of course,
+mistaken decision are unselfish and social motives, however futile and
+antisocial the results would have been had not their desperate
+determination been thwarted.... When this play was first published most
+people were not thinking along these lines. Such ideas were considered
+radical then. They will soon be old-fashioned--even on the stage.
+
+Kind and discriminating as the critics have been in regard to this
+comedy (a discriminating critic being, of course, one who praises your
+play), few of them have seen the point which I thought I was making
+emphatically clear, namely, that we can't cure social defects by
+individual treatment. Not only the lovers, but all the characters in
+this play are trying to do right according to their lights. There is no
+villain in this piece. At least the villain remains "off stage." Perhaps
+that is why so few see him. You are the villain, you and I and the rest
+of society. We are responsible for the rules and regulations of the
+marriage game. Instead of having fun with human nature, I tried to go
+higher up and have fun with human institutions.
+
+I say "tried," because apparently I did not succeed. The joke is on me.
+Still, I can get some amusement out of it: for a great many people seem
+to like this play who would be indignant if they knew what they were
+really applauding. They think they are merely enjoying "satire on human
+nature." Now, it is a curious fact that you can always curse human
+nature with impunity; can malign it, revile it, boot it up and down the
+decalogue, and you will be warmly praised. "How true to life!" you are
+told. "I know some one just like that." (It is always some one else, of
+course.) But dare lay hands on the Existing Order--and you'll find
+you've laid your hands on a hornet's nest.
+
+You see, most people do not want anything changed--except possibly the
+Law of Change. They do not object to finding fault with mankind because
+"you can't change human nature," as they are fond of telling you with an
+interesting air of originality. But laws, customs, and ideals can be
+changed, can be improved. Therefore they cry: "Hands off! How dare you!"
+Man made human institutions, therefore we reverence them. Whereas human
+nature was merely made by God. So we don't think so much of it. We are
+prejudiced, like all creators, in favor of our own creations. After all,
+there is excellent precedent for such complacency. Even God, we are
+informed, pronounced his work "all very good" and rested on the seventh
+day.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Pretty nearly everything in the play as acted is in the book as
+published; but by no means all that is in the book could possibly be
+enacted on the stage in two hours and a half. One scene, a breakfast
+scene between John and his wife, has been amplified for acting, but all
+the other scenes as printed here have been shortened for stage purposes
+and one or two cut out entirely.
+
+The "set" was changed to represent the loggia, instead of the terrace,
+of John's "little farm." Outdoor scenes are not supposed to be good for
+comedy. Walls, or a suggestion of them, produce a better psychological
+effect for the purpose, besides making it possible to speak in quieter,
+more intimate tones than when the voice spills out into the wings and up
+into the paint loft.
+
+Near the end of the play a number of relatives, rich and poor, are
+supposed to arrive for dinner and for influencing by their presence the
+recalcitrant couple. That is the way it is printed and that is how it
+was acted during the first few weeks of the Chicago run. But though the
+family may have its place in the book, it proved to be an awful nuisance
+on the stage. No matter how well these minor parts might be acted (or
+dressed), their sudden irruption during the last and most important
+moments of the performance distracted the audience's attention from the
+principal characters and the main issue. It was not clear who was who.
+Programmes fluttered; perplexity was observed.... So we decided that the
+family must be destroyed. It is always a perplexing problem to devise a
+substitute for the family.
+
+                                               JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS.
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+  HELEN: You're about the most conceited man I ever knew.
+  ERNEST: How can I help it, when you admire me so?       _Frontispiece_
+
+                                                             FACING PAGE
+  ALL: Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce?
+  JUDGE: Because, damn it, I don't like her                           30
+
+
+  JUDGE: You poor little pessimists! Human nature
+  to-day is better than it ever was, but our most
+  important institution is worse--the most sacred
+  relationship in life has become a jest in the
+  market-place                                                       204
+
+
+  JUDGE: We thought we believed in trial marriage.
+  Nothing of the sort--trial separation! What
+  marriage put asunder divorce has joined together                   230
+
+
+
+
+ACT I
+
+
+"And So They Were Married"
+
+
+
+
+ACT I
+
+
+    _Up from the fragrant garden comes a girl, running. She takes the
+    broad terrace steps two at a stride, laughing, breathless, fleet
+    as a fawn, sweet as a rose. She is hotly pursued by a boy,
+    handsome, ardent, attractively selfish, and just now blindly
+    determined to catch the pretty creature before she gains the
+    protecting shelter of home. She is determined to let him but not
+    to let him know it.... There, she might have darted in through the
+    open door, but it is such a cold, formal entrance; she pretends to
+    be exhausted, dodges behind a stone tea-table, and, turning, faces
+    him, each panting and laughing excitedly; she alluring and
+    defiant, he merry and dominant._
+
+    _She is twenty-five and he is a year or two older, but they are
+    both children; in other words, unmarried._
+
+
+REX
+
+Think I'll let you say that to me?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_making a face at him_]
+
+Think I'm afraid of you!
+
+
+REX
+
+Take it back, I tell you.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I won't.
+
+
+REX
+
+I'll make you.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_with a dance step_]
+
+Think so, do you?
+
+
+REX
+
+I warn you.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Booh-woo!
+
+    [_He makes a feint to the right, then dashes to the left and
+    catches her._
+
+
+REX
+
+[_triumphantly_]
+
+Now!... You would, would you?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_struggling_]
+
+Let me go.
+
+
+REX
+
+I couldn't think of it.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_seizes his hands to free herself--can't_]
+
+You're so strong--it isn't fair.
+
+
+REX
+
+You're so sweet--it isn't fair.
+
+    [_Smiling down at her struggles, rejoicing in his strength, her
+    weakness, he gently draws her near._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_knows what is coming_]
+
+No, Rex.
+
+
+REX
+
+Yes.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+You mustn't.
+
+
+REX
+
+But I will.
+
+    [_He laughs and kisses her lightly on the cheek. Therefore
+    she struggles furiously. Therefore he does it again. And
+    again. Suddenly he enfolds her completely and kisses her
+    passionately--cheeks, mouth, eyes--until she gasps in
+    alarm. Laughter has gone from them now._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Oh, please!... some one will come.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_with the intoxication of such moments_]
+
+I don't care who comes--I love you.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+No ... let me go.
+
+
+REX
+
+Not till you kiss me, Jean. [_JEAN hesitates, brushes his cheek lightly
+with her lips, and in pretty confusion tries to escape._] Not till you
+say you love me, Jean. [_Eyes hidden in his coat, she bobs her head. He
+laughs and loves it._] Say it!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I--er--do.
+
+
+REX
+
+Do _what_?... _Say_ it!...
+
+    [_She cannot. He swings her about, bringing her face close to his._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I love you, Rex. Are you sure you love me?
+
+
+REX
+
+Am I sure! You irresistible little--
+
+    [_Begins to kiss her. Masculine triumph._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+And want to marry me, Rex?
+
+
+REX
+
+[_stops--startled--had not thought of that_]
+
+Why--er--of course. What did you suppose!
+
+    [_Drops his eyes, sobered._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_feminine triumph_]
+
+And me "a penniless orphing"?
+
+
+REX
+
+[_fascinated by the way she says it, he laughs. Then, his honor
+touched_]
+
+Why, what kind of a man do you take me for!
+
+    [_And wants her lips again._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_giving herself to him, head sinks upon his shoulder_]
+
+Then, oh, Rex, love me and be nice to me and--and take me away from all
+this!
+
+    [_She covers her face with her hands and sobs. He pats her
+    tenderly, with a manly look on his face._
+
+    _LUCY comes up from the garden. She is dressed in white with a
+    garden hat, a garden basket filled with flowers in one hand, long
+    scissors in the other. She is JOHN'S wife, the mistress of the
+    house, sister-in-law to JEAN; conspicuously a "sweet" woman,
+    affectedly so, a contrast with JEAN'S more modern, less delicate
+    charm. JEAN is frank and brave, LUCY indirect and timid, pretty
+    but fading, forty but fighting it._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_laughing_]
+
+It's all right, Lucy--we're engaged!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Well, I should hope so!
+
+    [_Shoots a look at JEAN, "So?"_
+
+
+REX
+
+[_recovering himself_]
+
+I have often tried to thank you and good old John for letting me come
+over here so much, but now! How can I _ever_ thank you? See-what-I-mean?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+I'll tell you how. Behave yourself after you are married to John's
+little sister.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Rex, have you had a fearful past? How fascinating!
+
+
+REX
+
+I'm going to have a glorious future, all right.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Not unless you do as I tell you. Going to obey me, Rex?
+
+
+REX
+
+You bet I am.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Then begin now. Go!... Get out! [_She pushes REX, laughing and
+protesting, toward the garden._] I want to tell Lucy how nice you are.
+Run along over to the golf club, and by and by--if you _are_ a good
+boy--you can take me out in your new car. [_REX kisses the hand on his
+arm and leaves, laughing._] My dear, he has five cars! Thank you so
+much.
+
+    [_Alone, they throw off the mask worn before men._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Now, deary, tell me all about it. How did it happen?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Oh, I simply followed your advice.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Picked a quarrel with him?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_laughing_]
+
+Yes. I pretended to believe in woman suffrage!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Good! They hate that.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I told him all men were bullying brutes!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+They are! And then you ran away?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Of course.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+And he after you?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Of course.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+And you let him catch you?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Of cour--well ... he caught me.
+
+    [_They both laugh._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+I can guess the rest.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Why, it didn't take five minutes.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+And now it's to last through all eternity.... Isn't love wonderful?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Um-hum. Wonderful.
+
+    [_They begin to cull out the flowers._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But you do love him, dear, don't you?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_arranging flowers_]
+
+I did then. I don't now. Why is that, Lucy?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Oh, but you will learn to love him. [_Jean shrugs, drops flowers, and
+turns away._] Now, now! no worrying--it brings wrinkles! [_Patting
+Jean's shoulder._] Rex is just the sort to give the woman he adores
+everything in the world.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_wriggling out of LUCY'S embrace_]
+
+I am not the woman he adores.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Why, Jean! He's engaged to you.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+But he's in love with my sister. You know that as well as I do.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_uncomfortably_]
+
+Oh, well, he was once, but not now. Men admire these independent women,
+but they don't marry them. Nobody wants to marry a sexless freak with a
+scientific degree.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Oh, what's the use, Lucy? He's still wild about Helen, and she still
+laughs at him. So you and John have trotted out the little sister. Why
+not be honest about it.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Well, I may be old-fashioned, but I don't think it's nice to talk this
+way when you're just engaged.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Here comes your "sexless freak"--not with a degree, either.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_following JEAN'S gaze_]
+
+With a man!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_smiling_]
+
+With _my_ man.
+
+    [_HELEN, with REX bending toward her eagerly, appears. She is a
+    beautiful woman of twenty-nine, tall, strong, glorious--plenty of
+    old-fashioned charm, despite her new-fashioned ideas. She is
+    dressed in a tennis costume and is swinging a racquet._
+
+
+REX
+
+But they told me you were going to stay abroad all winter.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+My work, Rex--I had to get back to work.
+
+
+REX
+
+Work!... You are too good to work.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_amused, not jealous_]
+
+Is this your high-powered car, Rex? Have you learned to run it yet?
+
+
+REX
+
+[_startled_]
+
+But ... well ... you see, I met Helen on the way. See-what-I-mean?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_laughing_]
+
+Oh, we see.
+
+
+REX
+
+But I hadn't seen her for so long. I thought--[_Looks from HELEN to
+JEAN_] ... wait, I'll get the car.
+
+    [_He hurries off._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_to JEAN_]
+
+Why couldn't she have stayed abroad!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Helen, don't talk about your work before Lucy--it shocks her.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, very well; make it my 'career'!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_arm around HELEN_]
+
+Sssh!--that's worse.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Helen, dear, I deem it my duty to tell you that you are being talked
+about.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Lucy, dear, do you always find your true happiness in duty?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Well, if you think you are going back to that horrid place again ...
+after what happened that night? John won't hear of it.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+If the Baker Institute of Medical Experiment is not a respectable place
+you should make John resign as trustee.
+
+    [_She laughs it off._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+John is trustee of--oh, nearly everything. That makes it all the worse.
+It isn't as if you had to work.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, but John is so rich now, his credit can stand it. And you oughtn't
+to mind! Why, some of our most fashionable families now contain freaks
+like me. It's becoming quite smart, just as in former days one of the
+sons would go into the Church or the navy.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Well, of course, I am old-fashioned, but going down-town every day with
+the men,--it seems so unwomanly.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But wasn't I womanly for years? Instead of going down-town and working
+with highbrows, I stayed up-town and played with lowbrows--until I was
+bored to death.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_sighs_]
+
+Yes, that's what comes of going to college, leaving the home, getting
+these new ideas. All the same, Helen, the men, really nice men, don't
+like it.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Well, you see, I don't like really nice men, so that makes it agreeable
+all around.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+If it were only art or music or something feminine, but that awful
+laboratory! How can a lady poison poor, innocent little monkeys?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+If I were a lady I'd _dine_ with monkeys.... Do you know what the word
+means, Lucy? In Anglo-Saxon times "lady" meant "one who gives loaves";
+now, one who _takes_ a loaf.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Very clever, my dear, but some day you'll be sorry. No man, Helen, likes
+a woman to have independent views.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Helen can afford to have independent views; she has an independent
+income--she earns it.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Independent income! Her salary wouldn't pay for your hats.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+All the same, I wish I had gone to college; I wish I had learned a
+profession.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+What have these New Women accomplished? Just one thing: they are
+destroying chivalry!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Not entirely, Lucy, not entirely. For instance, I am the best assistant
+Ernest Hamilton has, but the worst paid; the others are all men. Hurray
+for chivalry!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Well, I'm just an old-fashioned wife. Woman's sphere is the home. My
+husband says so.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But suppose you haven't any husband! What can a spinster do in the home?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+_Stay_ in it--till she gets one! That's what the old-fashioned spinster
+used to do.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+The old-fashioned spinster used to spin.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+At any rate, the old-fashioned spinster did not stay out of her home all
+night and get herself compromised, talked about, sent abroad! Or, if she
+did, she knew enough to remain abroad until the gossip blew over.
+
+    [_Lucy turns to leave._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_mischievously_]
+
+Ah, that wonderful night! [_LUCY turns back, amazed._] The night we
+discovered the Hamilton antitoxin, the night that made the Baker
+Institute famous! And, just think, I had a hand in it, Lucy, a hand in
+the unwomanly work of saving children's lives! But, of course, an
+old-fashioned spinster would have blushed and said: "Excuse me, Doctor
+Hamilton, but we must now let a year's work go to waste because you are
+a man and I am a woman, and it's dark outdoors!" ... That's the way to
+preserve true chivalry.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+You think we can't see through all this? Science--fiddlesticks! The
+good-looking young scientist--that's why you couldn't stay abroad. We
+see it, John sees it, and now every one will see it. Then how will you
+feel?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ernest _is_ rather good-looking, isn't he?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Do you think your brother will let you marry a mere scientist!... Oh,
+well, Doctor Hamilton is in love with his work--fortunately.... Besides,
+he's a thoroughbred; he wouldn't even look at a girl who throws herself
+at his head.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+So I needn't try any longer? Too bad.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_losing her temper and going_]
+
+Oh, you New Women are quite superior, aren't you?... Thank heavens,
+little Jean didn't elbow _her_ way into men's affairs; she had no
+unwomanly ambitions for a career! But she is engaged to Rex Baker!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Jean, is this true?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_triumphantly_]
+
+_Marriage_ is woman's only true career.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Jean! You can't, you won't, you mustn't marry Rex!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_flouncing out_]
+
+"She who will not when she may," my dear!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_avoiding HELEN'S eyes_]
+
+Lucy hears John coming--he'd take her head off if she weren't there to
+meet him. [_HELEN only looks at her._] He bullies and browbeats her
+worse than ever. I can't stand it here much longer. It's getting on my
+nerves.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Jean! You care for Rex no more than I do.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_still evasive_]
+
+John's bringing out Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore. My dear, the
+whole family is up in the air about you.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, I can take care of myself, but you!... Jean, you're not the sort to
+marry Rex or any other man, unless you simply can't live without him.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_after a little pause_]
+
+Well ... how can I live without him--without some man? You can support
+yourself. I can't.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But you wouldn't live on a man you didn't really love!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Why not? Lucy does; most wives live on men they don't really love. To
+stop doing so and get divorced is wrong, you know.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Jean, Jean, poor little Jean!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Well, I'd rather have domestic unhappiness of my own than watch other
+people's all my life.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I don't like to hurt you, dear, but--[_Takes JEAN'S face and raises
+it._] How about that nice boy at the Harvard Law School?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Don't! [_Controls herself, then, in a low voice_] Bob is _still_ at the
+Law School, Helen.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Can't you wait, dear?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+He never asked me to, Helen.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+He would, if you let him.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+It wouldn't be fair. It takes so long to get started. Everything costs
+so much. Why, nowadays, men in the professions, unless they have private
+means, can't marry until nearly _forty_. When Bob is forty I'll be
+forty, Helen.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ah, but when a girl really cares!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Helen, do _you_ know?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Never mind about me--you!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Oh, we'll get over it, I suppose.... People do! Some day, perhaps,
+he'll smile and say: "Just think, I once loved _that_ fat old thing!"
+[_Suddenly changes to sobbing._] Helen! when Rex caught me and kissed
+me I shut my eyes and tried to think it was Bob.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_takes JEAN in her arms_]
+
+You can't keep on thinking so, dear.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+But that isn't the worst! When he held me fast and I couldn't get away,
+I began ... to forget Bob ... to forget everything ... [_Breaks off,
+overcome with shame._] But not now, not now! It's not the same thing at
+all. [_Buries face in HELEN'S breast and sobs it out._] Oh, I feel like
+the devil, dear.... And all this time he doesn't really want me--he
+wants you, you! I trapped him into it; I trapped him!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+And I know Rex--he's a good sport; he'll stick to it, if you do,
+dear--only you won't! You've caught him by playing on his worst--don't
+hold him by playing on his best!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+But what shall I do? I'm nearly twenty-six. I've got to escape from home
+in some way.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But what a way!
+
+    [_REX returns._
+
+
+REX
+
+Ready, Jean? [_To HELEN._] Lucy and John and your Cousin Theodore are in
+there having a fine, old-fashioned family fight with the judge.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+With Uncle Everett? What about?
+
+
+REX
+
+They shut up when they saw me. All I heard was the parson--"Marriage is
+a social institution." Grand old row, though. [_A BUTLER and FOOTMAN
+appear, wheeling a tea-wagon._] Looks as if they were coming out here.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Then I am going in. [_Detaining JEAN._] You will follow my advice?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_apart to HELEN_]
+
+Oh, I don't know. Soon or late I must follow the only profession I have
+learned.
+
+    [_JEAN leaves with REX. HELEN watches them, sighs, and goes in.
+    The SERVANTS arrange the tea-table and go into the house._
+
+    _LUCY comes out, followed by her husband, JOHN, and the JUDGE, who
+    is UNCLE EVERETT, and COUSIN THEODORE._
+
+    _JOHN, the masterful type of successful American business man;
+    well set up, close-cropped mustache, inclined to baldness; keen
+    eye, vibrant voice, quick movements, quick decisions, quick
+    temper._
+
+    _UNCLE EVERETT is a genial satirist with a cynical tolerance of
+    the ways of the world, which he understands, laughs at, and rather
+    likes._
+
+    _COUSIN THEODORE, a care-worn rector, who, though he buttons his
+    collar behind, likes those who don't; a noble soul,
+    self-sacrificing and sanctified, but he does not obtrude his
+    profession upon others--never talks shop unless asked to do so,
+    and prides himself upon not being a bigot._
+
+    _They are continuing an earnest discussion, with the intimate
+    manner of friendly members of the same family. JOHN, LUCY, and
+    THEODORE deeply concerned; UNCLE EVERETT detached and amused._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But, Uncle Everett, hasn't Aunt Julia always been a good wife to you?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Quite so, quite so, a good wife, Theodore, a good wife.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+And a _devoted_ mother to your children, Uncle Everett?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Devoted, Lucy, devoted.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+She has always obeyed you, Uncle Everett.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Yes, John--a true, old-fashioned woman.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+She has been a great help to me in the parish work, Uncle Everett.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+An earnest worker in the vineyard, Theodore--in fact, I might say, a
+model female.
+
+
+ALL
+
+Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Because, damn it, I don't like her!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But think of poor Aunt Julia!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+But, damn it, she doesn't like _me_.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_wagging head sadly_]
+
+Ah, yes, I suppose there has been fault on both sides.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Not at all! No fault on either side.... Both patterns of Christian
+fortitude to the end! We still are. Just listen to this telegram.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_puzzled_]
+
+From Aunt Julia?
+
+
+    [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._
+
+        ALL: Then why, _why_ do you want a divorce?
+        JUDGE: Because, damn it, I don't like her.]
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Yes from Aunt Julia in Reno. Not used to travelling without me; knew I'd
+worry. Thoughtful of her, wasn't it? [_Puts on glasses._] A night
+letter. Much cheaper; your Aunt Julia was always a frugal wife. Besides,
+she never could keep within ten words. [_Reads._] "Arrived safely.
+Charming rooms with plenty of air and sunlight. Our case docketed for
+March 15th. Wish you were here to see the women in Divorcee
+Row--overdressed and underbred." Rather neat, eh? "Overdressed and
+underbred." "I should love to hear _your_ comments on the various
+types." Now, isn't that sweet of her? Well, you know, I always _could_
+make her laugh--except when I made her cry. "Write soon. With love.
+Julia." Now [_folds telegram_], isn't that a nice message? From a wife
+suing for divorce? You happily married people couldn't beat that.
+
+    [_Pats telegram and pockets it tenderly._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_like a practical business man_]
+
+But if there's no other woman, no other man--what's it all about?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+She likes her beefsteak well done; I like mine underdone. She likes one
+window open--about so much [_indicates four inches_]; I like all the
+windows open wide! She likes to stay at home; I like to travel. She
+loves the opera and hates the theatre; I love the theatre and hate the
+opera.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Stop! aren't you willing to make a few little sacrifices for each other?
+Haven't you character enough for that?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+We've been making sacrifices for twenty-five years, a quarter of a
+century! Character enough to last us now.... Why, I remember the first
+dinner we had together after we were pronounced man and wife, with a
+full choral service and a great many expensive flowers--quite a smart
+wedding, Lucy, for those simple days. "Darling," I asked my blushing
+bride, "do you like tutti-frutti ice-cream?" "I adore it, dearest," she
+murmured. I hated it, but nobly sacrificed myself and gave her
+tutti-frutti and gained character every evening of our honeymoon! Then
+when we got back and began our "new life" together in our "little home,"
+my darling gave _me_ tutti-frutti and indigestion _once a week_ until I
+nearly died!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But why didn't you tell her?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+I did; I did. Got chronic dyspepsia and struck! "_You_ may adore this
+stuff, _darling_," I said, "but I hate it." "So do I, dearest," says
+she. "Then why in thunder have you had it all these years,
+_sweetheart_?" "For your sake, _beloved_!" And that tells the whole
+story of our married life. We have nothing in common but a love of
+divorce and a mutual abhorrence of tutti-frutti. "Two souls with but a
+single thought, two hearts that beat as one!" It has been the dream of
+our lives to get apart, and each has nobly refrained for the other's
+sake. And all in vain!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Bah! All a cloak to hide his real motive. And he knows it!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_after a painful pause_]
+
+I may as well confess. [_Looks around to see if overheard. Whispers._]
+For over twenty years I--I have broken my marriage vow! [_LUCY drops her
+eyes. THEODORE aghast. JOHN wags head._] So has your Aunt Julia!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+No! not that!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Well, we solemnly promised to love each other until death did us part.
+We have broken that sacred vow! I don't love _her_; she doesn't love
+_me_--not in the least!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Rot! A matured, middle-aged man, a distinguished member of the
+bar--break up his home for that? Damned rot!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Right again, John. That's not why I'm breaking up my home. I prefer my
+club. What does the modern home amount to? Merely a place to leave your
+wife.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Of course, it doesn't matter about the poor little wife left at home.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Wrong, Lucy, it does matter. That's why I _stayed_ at home and was bored
+to death with her prattle about clothes and the opera, instead of dining
+at the club with my intellectual equals, picking up business there,
+getting rich like John, supplying her with _more_ clothes and a whole
+_box_ at the opera, like yours, Lucy.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_shoots a glance at her husband_]
+
+Oh, that's the way you men _always_ talk. It never occurs to you that
+business, business, _business_ is _just_ as much of a bore to us!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Wrong again! It did occur to _me_--hence the divorce! She couldn't stand
+seeing _me_ bored; I couldn't stand seeing _her_ bored. Once we could
+deceive each other; but now--too well acquainted; our happy home--a
+hollow mockery!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+You ought to be ashamed! I love my home!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+So do I.
+
+    [_He glances sternly at LUCY._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_nervously_]
+
+So do I.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+All right. Stick to it, if you love it. Only, don't claim credit for
+doing what you enjoy. I stuck to my home for a quarter of a century and
+disliked it the whole time. At last I'm free to say so. Just think of
+it, Lucy, free to utter those things about marriage we all know are true
+but don't dare say! Free to be honest, John! No longer a hypocrite, no
+longer a liar! A soul set free, Theodore--two souls, in fact. "Two souls
+with but a single thought----"
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Stop! You have _children_ to consider, not merely your own selfish
+happiness!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Yes, think of Tom and little Julia!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+We did ... for a quarter of a century--sacrificed everything to them,
+even our self-respect; but now--what's the use? We are childless now.
+Tom and Julia have both left us for "little homes" of their own to love.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Ah, but don't you want them to have the old home to come back to?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+"No place like home" for children, eh? You're right--can't have too much
+of it. Most children only have _one_ home. Ours will have _two_! When
+they get bored with one they can try the other.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But, seriously, Uncle Everett--"Whom God hath joined together!"
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_clasping JOHN'S arm_]
+
+Yes, Uncle Everett, marriages are made in heaven.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+I see; quite so; but your Aunt Julia and I were joined together by a
+pink parasol made in Paris.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+What rot! Stop your fooling and speak the truth, man.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Just what I'm doing--that's why you think I'm fooling. A very pretty
+parasol--but it wasn't made in heaven. You see, God made poor, dear
+Julia pale, but on that fatal day, twenty-five years ago, the pink
+parasol, not God, made her rosy and irresistible. I did the rest--with
+the aid of a clergyman, whom I tipped even more liberally than the
+waiter who served us tutti-frutti. Blame _me_ for it, blame her, the
+parasol, the parson, but do not, my dear Theodore, blame the Deity for
+our own mistakes. It's so blasphemous.
+
+    [_A pause. LUCY takes place at the tea-table to serve tea._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+And to think we invited _you_, of all people, here to-day of all days!
+[_To JOHN._] We mustn't let Rex know. The Bakers don't believe in
+divorce.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+What's this? You don't mean that Jean----?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Yes! Just in time--before he knew Helen was back.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_jumps up_]
+
+She's landed him! She's landed him! We're marrying into the Baker
+family! The Baker family! [_Shaking hands right and left._] Why, she'll
+have more money than any of us!... Well, well! We'll all have to stand
+around before little Jean now!... My, my! Lucy, you're a wonder! Those
+pearls--I'll buy them; they're yours! Hurray for Lucy!
+
+    [_Kisses_ LUCY.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_feeling her importance_]
+
+Now, if I could only get _Helen_ out of this awful mess and safely
+married to some nice man!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_sipping his tea_]
+
+Meaning one having money?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+The Hamiltons are an older family than the Bakers, Lucy, older than our
+own.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Meaning they _once_ had money.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_still pacing to and fro_]
+
+Waste a beauty on a bacteriologist? A crime!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+See here, John, Ernest Hamilton is the biggest thing you've got in the
+Baker Institute! One of the loveliest fellows in the world, too, and if
+you expect me--why did you ask us here, anyway?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Far as I can make out, we're here to help one of John's sisters marry a
+man she doesn't love and prevent the other from marrying the man she
+does.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Oh, look here: I've nothing against young Hamilton.... I _like_
+him--proud of all he's done for the institute. Why, Mr. Baker is tickled
+to death about the Hamilton antitoxin. But, Theodore, this is a
+practical world. Your scientific friend gets just two thousand dollars a
+year!... Lucy, send for Helen.
+
+    [_LUCY goes obediently._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Well, why not give the young man a raise?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Oh, that's not a bad salary for scientists, college professors, and that
+sort of thing. Why, even the head of the institute himself gets less
+than the superintendent of my mills. No future in science.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Perfectly practical, Theodore. The superintendent of John's mills saves
+the company thousands of dollars. These bacteriologists merely save the
+nation thousands of babies. All our laws, written and unwritten, value
+private property above human life. I'm a distinguished jurist and I
+always render my decisions accordingly. I'd be reversed by the United
+States Supreme Court if I didn't. We're all rewarded in inverse ratio to
+our usefulness to society, Theodore. That's why "practical men" think
+changes are "dangerous."
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Muck-raker!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+It's all on a sliding scale, John. For keeping up the cost of living you
+and old man Baker get ... [_Stretches arms out full length._] Heaven
+only knows how much. For saving the Constitution I get ... a good deal.
+[_Hands three feet apart._] For saving in wages and operating expenses
+your superintendent gets so much. [_Hands two feet apart._] For saving
+human life Ernest Hamilton gets that. [_Hands six inches apart._] For
+saving immortal souls Theodore gets--[_Holds up two forefingers an inch
+apart._] Now, if any one came along and saved the world----
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_interrupts_]
+
+They crucified Him.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Muck-raker, muck-raker.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_returning_]
+
+Tried my best, John, but Helen says she prefers to talk with you alone
+some time.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_furious_]
+
+She "prefers"? See here! Am I master in my own house or not?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+But Helen is a guest in it now. No longer under your control, John.
+She's the New Woman.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+John, _you_ can't stop that girl's marrying Ernest, if she wants to;
+he's head over heels in love with her.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+What! We thought he was in love with his work!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+He thinks there's no hope for him, poor boy.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_to JOHN_]
+
+And she is mad about him!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_to LUCY_]
+
+And he is on the way out here now!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+What! He's coming to see her?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+No, no, thinks she's still in Paris--so she was when I invited him, damn
+it--but something had to be done and done delicately. That's why I
+invited you two.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_bursts out laughing_]
+
+Beautiful! These lovers haven't met for a month, and to-night there's a
+moon!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_also laughs_]
+
+You may as well give in, John. It's the simplest solution.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_timidly_]
+
+Yes, John, she's nearly thirty, and think how she treats all the _nice_
+men.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Who's doing this? You go tell Helen ... that her Uncle Everett wants to
+see her!
+
+    [_Lucy shrugs, starts reluctantly, and lingers listening._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Now, uncle, you have more influence over her than any of us--don't let
+her know about ... Aunt Julia. Helen thinks the world of you.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Of course not, never let the rising generation suspect the truth about
+marriage--if you want 'em to marry.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+There are other truths than unpleasant truths, Uncle Everett, other
+marriages than unhappy marriages.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Want me to tell her the truth about your marriage?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_at the door_]
+
+Why uncle! Even _you_ must admit that Theodore and Mary are happy.
+
+    [_JOHN is too much surprised to notice LUCY'S presence._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Happy? What's that got to do with it? Marriage is a social institution.
+Theodore said so.... Every time a boy kisses a girl she should first
+inquire: "A sacrifice for society?" And if he says, "I want to gain
+character, sweetheart," then--"Darling, do your duty!" and he'll do it.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Well, Theodore has certainly done _his_ duty by society--six children!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Then society hasn't done its duty by Theodore--only one salary!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+The more credit to him! He and Mary have sacrificed everything to their
+children and the Church--even health!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+We don't need your pity! We don't want your praise! Poverty, suffering,
+even separation, have only drawn us closer together. We love each other
+through it all! Why, in the last letter the doctor let her write she
+said, she said--[_Suddenly overcome with emotion, turns abruptly._] If
+you'll excuse me, Lucy ... Sanitarium ... the telephone.
+
+    [_THEODORE goes into the house._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Not praise or pity but something more substantial and, by George, I'll
+get it for them!
+
+    [_Turns to JOHN, who interrupts._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+See the example _he_ sets to society--I honor him for it.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Fine! but that doesn't seem to restore Mary's radiant health, Theodore's
+brilliant youth.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Ah, but they have their _children_--think how they adore those beautiful
+children!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+No, don't think how they adore them, think how they _rear_ those
+beautiful children--in the streets; one little daughter dead from
+contagion; one son going to the devil from other things picked up in the
+street! If marriage is a social institution, look at it socially. Why, a
+marriage like mine is worth a dozen like theirs--to Society. Look at my
+well-launched children; look at my useful career, as a jackal to Big
+Business; look at my now perfectly contented spouse!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But if you are divorced!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Is the object of marriage merely to stay married?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But character, think of the character they have gained.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Oh, is it to gain character at the expense of helpless offspring?
+Society doesn't gain by that--it loses, Lucy, it loses.... But simply
+because, God bless 'em, "they love each other through it all," you
+sentimental standpatters believe in lying about it, do you?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_bored, whips out pocket check-book and fountain pen_]
+
+Oh, talk, talk, talk! Money talks for _me_.... But they're both so
+confoundedly proud!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Go on, write that check! [_JOHN writes._] They must sacrifice their
+pride, John. Nothing else left to sacrifice, I'm afraid.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, you get this to them somehow.
+
+    [_Hands check to JUDGE._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Aha! Talk did it.... Five thousand? Generous John!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_impatiently_]
+
+Never mind about me. _That_ problem is all settled; now about Helen....
+Lucy! I thought I told you----
+
+    [_LUCY, in a guilty hurry, escapes into the house._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+John, charity never settles problems; it perpetuates them. You can't
+cure social defects by individual treatment.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_more impatiently_]
+
+Does talk settle anything?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Everything. We may even settle the marriage problem if we talk
+_honestly_. [_THEODORE returns from telephoning to the sanitarium._]
+Theodore, it's all right! John honestly believes in setting an example
+to society! Crazy to have his sisters go and do likewise!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Splendid, John! I knew you'd see it--an ideal match.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_overriding JOHN_]
+
+Right, Theodore, ideal. This scientific suitor will shower everything
+upon her John honors and admires: A host of servants--I mean sacrifices;
+carriages and motors--I mean character and morals; just what her brother
+advocates in Sunday-school--for others. An ideal marriage.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_hands in pockets_]
+
+You think you're awfully funny, don't you? Humph! I do more for the
+Church, for education, art, science than all the rest of the family
+combined. Incidentally, I'm not divorced.... But this is a practical
+world, Theodore, I've got to protect my own.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_returning_]
+
+Helen will be here in a minute.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_suddenly getting an idea_]
+
+Ah! I have it! I know how to keep them apart!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Be careful, John--these two love each other.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Yes, young people still fall in love. Whether we make it hard or easy
+for them--they _will_ do it. But, mark my words, unless we _reform
+marriage_, there is going to be a sympathetic _strike_ against it--as
+there is already against having children. Instead of making it harder to
+get apart, we've got to make it easier to stay together. Otherwise the
+ancient bluff will soon be called!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Sssh! Here she comes.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+_Please_ don't talk this way before her.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+All right, I'm not divorced yet,... still in the conspiracy of silence.
+
+    [_HELEN appears at the door. A sudden silence._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_kissing THEODORE and JUDGE affectionately_]
+
+I'm _so_ sorry to hear about dear Mary. [_To JUDGE._] But why didn't
+Aunt Julia come? Is she ill, too?
+
+    [_Slight panic in the family party._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+She's gone to Re-Re-Rio Janeiro--I mean to Santa Barbara--wants a
+complete change--The Rest Cure. [_To THEODORE apart._] Lie number one.
+
+    [_Another silence. LUCY makes tea for HELEN._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_taking the cup_]
+
+Well, go on!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Go on with what?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_stirring tea_]
+
+Your discussion of marriage.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+How did you know?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, it's in the air. Everybody's talking about it nowadays.
+
+    [_She sips tea, and the others look conscious._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+My dear, marriage is woman's only true career.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_raising her shield of flippancy_]
+
+So Lucy tells me, Cousin Theodore. But a woman cannot pursue her career,
+she must be pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Ahem. As we passed through the library a while ago, I think I saw your
+little sister being pursued by her career.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Yes, uncle, but Jean is a true woman. I'm only a New Woman.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+All the same, you'll be an old woman some day--if you don't watch out.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ah, yes, my life's a failure. I haven't trapped a man into a contract to
+support me.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_picks up knitting bag and does her best to look like "just an
+old-fashioned wife"_]
+
+You ought to be ashamed! Making marriage so mercenary. Helen, dear,
+haven't you New Women any sentiment?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Enough sentiment not to make a mercenary marriage, Lucy, dear.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Ahem! And what kind of a marriage do you expect to make?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Not any, thank you, uncle.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+What! You don't believe in holy matrimony?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Only as a last extremity, uncle, like unholy divorce.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_jumps_]
+
+What do _you_ know about that?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I know all about it! [_Others jump._] I have been reading up on the
+subject.
+
+    [_All relax, relieved, but now gather about the young woman._
+
+
+THEODORE                                       }
+                                               }
+Come now, simply because many young people     }
+rush into marriage without thinking--          }
+                                               }
+                                               }
+LUCY                                           } [_Together_]
+                                               }
+Simply because these New Women--               }
+                                               }
+                                               }
+JOHN                                           }
+                                               }
+Simply because one marriage in a               }
+thousand ends in divorce--                     }
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Wait!... One in a thousand? Dear me, what an idealist you are, John! In
+America, one marriage in every eleven now ends in divorce. And yet you
+wonder why I hesitate.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+One in eleven--rot! [_To JUDGE._] All this muck-raking should be
+suppressed by the Government. "One in eleven!" Bah!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_demurely_]
+
+The Government's own statistics, John.
+
+    [_They all turn to the JUDGE for denial, but he nods confirmation,
+    with a complacent smile, murmuring: "Two souls with but a single
+    thought."_
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_sweetly knitting_]
+
+Well, I may be old-fashioned, but it seems to _me_ that nice girls
+shouldn't _think_ of such things.... Their husbands will tell them all
+they ought to know about marriage--after they're married.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ah, I see. Nice girls mustn't think until after they rush in, but they
+mustn't rush in until after they think. You married people make it all
+so simple for us.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Right! The way to cure all evil is for nice people to close their minds
+and mouths to it. It's "unpleasant" for a pure mind, and it "leaves a
+bad taste in the mouth." So there you are, my dear.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_coming in strong_]
+
+Oh, talk, talk, talk! I've had enough. See here, young lady, I offered
+to pay all your expenses abroad for a year. You didn't seem to
+appreciate it--well, the trustees of the institute are now to give
+Doctor Hamilton a year abroad. How do you like that?
+
+    [_All turn and look at HELEN._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Splendid! Just what he needs! Doctor Metchnikoff told me in Paris that
+America always kills its big men with routine. When do we start?
+
+    [_She tries to look very businesslike._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_springing to his feet_]
+
+"We!" Do you think _you_ are going?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Of course! I'm his assistant--quite indispensable to him.... [_To all._]
+Oh, well, if you don't believe me, ask him!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_pacing to and fro_]
+
+What next! Paris! Alone, with a man!--Here's where I call a halt!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But if my work calls me, I don't really see what you have to say about
+it, John.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Better not defy me, Helen.
+
+    [_He scowls._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Better not bully me, John.
+
+    [_She smiles._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I am your brother.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But not my owner! [_Then, instead of defiance, she turns with animated
+interest to the others._] You know, all women used to be owned by men.
+Formerly they ruled us by physical force--now by financial force.... But
+at last they are to lose even _that_ hold upon us--poor dears!
+
+    [_Pats JOHN'S shoulder playfully._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_amused, but serious_]
+
+That's all right in theory, but this is a practical world. My pull got
+you into the institute; my pull can get you out. You give up this wild
+idea or give up your job!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_delighted_]
+
+What did I tell you? Financial force! They still try it, you see. [_To
+JOHN._] What if I refused to give up either, John?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_emphatic_]
+
+Then as a trustee of the institute I ask for your resignation--right
+here and now! [_Turns away._] I guess _that_ will hold her at home a
+while.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I simply _must_ go to Paris now. I've nothing else to do!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with a confident smile_]
+
+You will, eh? Who'll pay your expenses this time?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_matter of fact_]
+
+Doctor Hamilton.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Helen! please! You oughtn't to say such things even in joke.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+He'll take me along as his private secretary, if I ask him.
+
+    [_A pause. The others look at one another helplessly._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+John, she's got you. You might as well quit.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Nonsense. I have just begun. You'll see.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+If you're so independent, my dear, why don't you marry your scientist
+and be done with it?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_resents the intrusion but hides her feelings_]
+
+Can you keep a secret? [_They all seem to think they can and gather
+near._] He has never asked me!
+
+    [_The family seems annoyed._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_with match-making ardor_]
+
+No wonder, dear, he has never seen you except in that awful apron. But
+those stunning dinner gowns John bought you in Paris! My dear, in
+evening dress you are quite irresistible!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_apart to THEODORE_]
+
+Irresistible? Pink parasols. What a system!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But you see, I don't _want_ him to ask me. I've had all I could do to
+keep him from it.
+
+    [_The family seems perplexed._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+She's got _some_ sense left.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But suppose he did ask you, dear?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Why, I'd simply refer the matter to John, of course. If John said, "Love
+him," I'd love him; if John said, "Don't love him," I'd turn it off like
+electric light.
+
+    [_The family is becoming exasperated._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_insinuating_]
+
+Oh, you can't deceive us. We know how much you admire him, Helen.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, no you don't! [_The family is amazed._] Not even he does. Did you
+ever hear how he risked his life in battle down in Cuba? Why, he's a
+perfect hero of romance!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_mutters_]
+
+Never even saw a war--mollycoddle germ killer!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Not in the war with Spain--the war against yellow fever, John.... No
+drums to make him brave, no correspondents to make him famous--he merely
+rolled up his sleeve and let an innocent-looking mosquito bite him. Then
+took notes on his symptoms till he became delirious.... He happened to
+be among those who recovered.
+
+    [_The family is impressed._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Old-fashioned maidens used to marry their heroes, Helen.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_arising, briskly_]
+
+But this new-fashioned hero gets only two thousand dollars a year,
+Theodore.
+
+    [_She turns to escape._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_nodding_]
+
+I told you she had sense.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Helen! You selfish, too? Why, Mary and I married on half that, didn't
+we, John?
+
+    [_He looks around. The family looks away._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with unintended emphasis_]
+
+Doctor Hamilton needs every cent of that enormous salary--books, travel,
+scientific conferences--all the advantages he simply must have if he's
+to keep at the top and do his best work for the world. The most selfish
+thing a girl can do is to marry a poor man.
+
+    [_With that she hurries up the steps._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_following her_]
+
+All the same, deep down under it all, she has a true woman's yearning
+for a home to care for and a mate to love. [_She is silently crying._]
+Why, Helen, dear, what's the matter?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_hiding her emotion_]
+
+Oh, why can't they let me _alone_! They make what ought to be the
+holiest and most beautiful thing in life the most horrible and
+dishonest. They make me hate marriage--hate it!
+
+    [_Unseen by HELEN, the BUTLER steps out._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_patting her shoulder_]
+
+Just you wait till the right one comes along.
+
+
+BUTLER
+
+[_to LUCY_]
+
+Doctor Hamilton has come, ma'am.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with an old-fashioned gasp_]
+
+Good heavens!
+
+    [_And runs to the family._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Show Doctor Hamilton out.
+
+    [_The BUTLER goes._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+A plot to entrap him! [_Running to and fro wildly._] But it's no use!
+I'm going ... until he's gone!
+
+    [_HELEN runs into the garden._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Fighting hard, poor child.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But what'll we do?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Don't worry--she can't stay away--the sweet thing!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Now listen, we must all jolly him up--he'll be shy in these
+surroundings.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Going to surrender, John?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+What I am going to do requires finesse.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_in a flutter, seeing HAMILTON approach_]
+
+Oh, dear! how does one talk to highbrows?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Talk to him about himself! Highbrows, lowbrows, all men love it.
+
+    [_ERNEST HAMILTON, discoverer of the Hamilton antitoxin, is a
+    fine-looking fellow of about thirty-five, without the spectacles
+    or absent-mindedness somehow expected of scientific genius. He
+    talks little but very rapidly and sees everything. It does not
+    occur to him to be shy or embarrassed "in these surroundings"--not
+    because he is habituated to so much luxury, on three thousand a
+    year, nor because he despises it; he likes it; but he likes other
+    things even more. That is why he works for two thousand a year,
+    instead of working for fat, fashionable fees in private practice._
+
+    _JOHN meets his distinguished guest at the door--effusively, yet
+    with that smiling condescension which wealthy trustees sometimes
+    show to "scientists, college professors, and that sort of thing."_
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Ah, Doctor Hamilton! Delighted to see you on my little farm at last. Out
+here I'm just a plain, old-fashioned farmer.
+
+    [_ERNEST glances about at the magnificence and smiles
+    imperceptibly. He makes no audible replies to the glad welcome,
+    but bows urbanely, master of himself and the situation._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Doctor Hamilton! So good of you to come.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+How are you, Ernest? Glad to see you.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+I don't think you've met our uncle, Judge Grey.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_humorously adopting their manner_]
+
+Charmed! I've heard so much about you!--from my niece.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_to ERNEST'S rescue, like a tactful hostess_]
+
+A cup of tea, Doctor Hamilton?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_unperturbed by the reference to HELEN_]
+
+Thanks.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_while LUCY makes tea. Trustee manner_]
+
+I have often desired to express my admiration of your heroism in the war
+against yellow fever in er--ah--_Cuba_, when you let an innocent-looking
+mosquito bite you----
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_nodding and poising sugar-tongs_]
+
+And then took notes on your symptoms till you became delirious!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+No sugar, thanks.
+
+    [_He looks from one to another with considerable interest._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+No drums to make you famous, no war correspondents to make you brave--I
+mean the other way round.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_to LUCY poising cream pitcher_]
+
+No cream, please.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Senator Root says this one triumph alone saves _twenty million dollars
+a year_ to the business interests of the United States! I call that true
+patriotism.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with a nod of assent to LUCY_]
+
+Lemon.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_with sincerity_]
+
+General Wood says it saves more _human lives_ a year than were lost in
+the whole Spanish War! I call it service.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Colonel Goethals says the Panama Canal could not have been built if it
+hadn't been for you self-sacrificing scientists. Not only that, but you
+have abolished forever from the United States a scourge which for more
+than a century had through periodic outbreaks spread terror,
+devastation, and death.
+
+    [_A pause._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_bored, but trying to hide it_]
+
+The ones who deserve your praise are the four who died to prove that
+theory.... [_He smiles._] Of course, you all know their names.... [_He
+looks at JOHN, who looks at JUDGE, who looks at LUCY, who looks at
+THEODORE. He takes up his cup._] Delicious tea.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Ah, but they didn't do it for fame, for money--that's the beauty of the
+sacrifice.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with a smile_]
+
+Quite so.... That's what Congress told us when we suggested a pension
+for the widow of the first victim.
+
+
+ALL
+
+What! Did Congress refuse the pension?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_finishes his tea_]
+
+They finally voted the sum of seventeen dollars a month for the widow
+and no less than two dollars a month extra for each of his children....
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Is that all?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+No.... We pestered Congress to death until, a few years ago, they
+replaced the pension with an annuity of one hundred and twenty-five
+dollars a month--though some of them said it was a very bad precedent to
+establish. [_Returns cup to LUCY._] No more, thanks, delicious.
+
+    [_And turns to admire the wide-sweeping view of the farm, hands in
+    pockets._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_after a pause_]
+
+Well, I think our scientists might well be called philanthropists.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Hardly! You see, every one _knows_ the names of philanthropists....
+Better let it go at "scientists."
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+He's right. Philanthropists don't give their lives, they give their
+names--have 'em carved in stone over their institutes and libraries.
+
+    [_JOHN approaches and joins his guest._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Charming little farm you have here.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Doctor Hamilton, America kills its big men with routine. You are too
+valuable to the nation to lose--the trustees think you need a year
+abroad.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+That's strange, I came out here to suggest that very thing.... Somebody
+has been saying kind things about me in Paris. Just had a letter from
+the great Metchnikoff--wants me to come over and work in the Pasteur!
+Chance of a lifetime!... You didn't have to jolly me up to consent to
+that!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_pacing terrace with his guest, arm in arm_]
+
+By the by, my sister is rather keen on science.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Best assistant I ever had. You can pile an awful lot of routine on a
+woman. The female of the species is more faithful than the male....
+She's over there already. We can get right to work.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+She'll be back before you start.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_stops short_]
+
+I didn't know that.... Well, what is it?
+
+    [_JOHN hesitates, turns to the family, all watching with breathless
+    interest._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Don't you see, old chap, under the circumstances it would hardly do for
+her to go back to Paris with you.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Why not?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+You're a man.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_smiling_]
+
+You mean I'm dangerous?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But she's a woman.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+They mean _she's_ dangerous.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+My dear fellow, we are going to ask you quite frankly to decline to take
+her.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_looks about at the circle of anxious faces. He wont let them read
+him_]
+
+So that's it, eh?... But it's the chance of a lifetime for her, too. She
+needs it more than I do. She's had so little chance to do original work.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But she's a woman.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Just what has that to do with it?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Everything. We have the highest respect for you, Doctor Hamilton, but
+also ... one must respect the opinions of the world, you know.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_thinks it over_]
+
+That's right. One must. I forgot to think of that.... It's curious, but
+when working with women of ability one learns to respect them so much
+that one quite loses the habit of insulting them. Too bad how new
+conditions spoil fine old customs.... Suppose you let her go and let me
+stay. I can find plenty to do here, I fancy.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I fear it would offend our generous benefactor, Mr. Baker. He has set
+his heart on your going abroad, meeting other big men, getting new ideas
+for our great humanitarian work. [_The family exchange glances while
+JOHN lies on._] Besides, my sister would only go to accommodate you. She
+particularly desires to stay here this winter. That's why she is
+returning so soon, you see.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_believes it_]
+
+Oh, I see.... I'm sure I have no desire to _drag_ her over with me....
+[_Smiles at himself._] I rather thought the opportunity to continue our
+experiments together ... but that's all right.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Then it's all settled--you agree to go alone?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_a slight pause_]
+
+Yes, alone. It's quite settled.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+How soon could you start?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_absently_]
+
+How soon? Why, just as soon as I get some one to run my department.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Could my sister run it?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_smiles_]
+
+Could she run it? It can't run without her! She's as systematic as [_to
+LUCY_]--as a good housekeeper.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with a satisfied look at the others_]
+
+Then _that's_ all fixed! She'll stay when I tell her that you want her
+to. Could you arrange to start at once?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_hesitates_]
+
+By leaving here to-night, I could.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with a triumphant look at the family_]
+
+Then I'll telephone for your passage--I have a pull with all the
+steamship lines. [_Going._] Of course I hate to cut short your week-end,
+but I don't want to spoil any scientific careers.
+
+    [_JOHN hurries in to telephone. ERNEST starts too, as if to stop
+    him but restrains the impulse. He stands alone by the door gazing
+    out over the landscape while LUCY, THEODORE, and the JUDGE discuss
+    him in low tones by the tea-table._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Can't you see, you stupid men! He's crazy about her--but thinks there's
+no hope.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+When she finds he's leaving for a year ... she'll change her mind about
+marriage!
+
+    [_ERNEST comes back to earth and to the house-party._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_to ERNEST, joining them_]
+
+Ahem! We were just discussing the marriage danger--I mean the marriage
+problem.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with a smile_]
+
+Go right on--don't mind me.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_old-friend manner_]
+
+See here! When are _you_ ever going to marry?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_modern bachelor's laugh_]
+
+When am I ever going to get more than two thousand a year?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Bah! what has money got to do with it! Just you wait till the right one
+comes along.
+
+    [_HELEN comes along, stealing up the steps from the garden on
+    tiptoe with the grave, absorbed look of a hunter stalking game.
+    She catches sight of the man she wants and stops short, as
+    motionless as if frozen. But not so! Her lovely hands were
+    poised; one of them now goes to her bosom and presses there.
+    There is nothing icy about this New Woman now._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_as unconscious of danger as a mountain-lion on an inaccessible height,
+smiles easily at his sentimental old friend THEODORE_]
+
+How do you know "the right one" hasn't come already?
+
+    [_THEODORE catches sight of HELEN. She shakes her head in silent
+    pleading, taps a finger on her lips, and in a panic flees
+    noiselessly across toward the door._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_suppressing a laugh_]
+
+Then don't let her go by!
+
+    [_HELEN stops at the door and makes a face at THEODORE._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_affecting indifference_]
+
+Oh, I couldn't stop her, even if I wanted to.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_turning to wink at HELEN_]
+
+How do you know? Did you ever ask her?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+To marry me? Oh, no! She hasn't any money.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_HELEN is dumfounded_]
+
+Money! You wouldn't marry for money!
+
+    [_HELEN draws near to hear the answer._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You don't suppose I'd marry a woman who hadn't any? Most selfish thing
+a poor man can do.
+
+    [_HELEN is interested._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Oh, fiddlesticks! You modern young people--
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_interrupts_]
+
+Make her a sort of superior servant in an inferior home--not that girl!
+
+    [_HELEN is pleased._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Feministic nonsense! The old-fashioned womanly woman----
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Sentimental twaddle! What makes it more "womanly" to do menial work
+_for_ men than intellectual work with them?
+
+    [_HELEN delighted, applauds noiselessly._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+All the same, I'll bet you wouldn't let a little thing like that stand
+in your way if you really cared for a woman enough to marry her.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_benign and secure_]
+
+But, as it happens, I don't. Nothing could induce me to marry.
+
+    [_HELEN raises her chin, her eyes glitter dangerously._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+So you are going to run away to Europe like a coward?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_smiles patronizingly_]
+
+Theodore, you are such an incorrigible idealist! I have nothing to be
+afraid of--I simply do not care to _marry_!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+That's just what _I_ said!
+
+    [_All turn and behold HELEN._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+My heavens!
+
+    [_He steps back like a coward._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But I agree with you perfectly. [_She holds out her hand to him._] I was
+so afraid you believed in marriage.
+
+    [_He rushes to her eagerly._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_as the lovers shake hands_]
+
+You wronged him. Apologize.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Why--why--all this time, I thought _you_ had the usual attitude.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Wronged _her_. Both apologize.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Why didn't you ever tell me you had such enlightened views?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Why didn't you ever tell me?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Each understands the other now. Everything lovely!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Think of the discussions we might have had!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Not too late yet. Julia and I had discussions for a quarter of a
+century.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Don't think I had any hand in this. [_Laughs._] I was going to warn you,
+but now--it is unnecessary now.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Warn me? What do you mean?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Can't you see? It was all a plot! [_LUCY draws near noiselessly._] A
+plot to entrap you in marriage! They had about given me up as a bad
+job. _You_ were my last hope. They were going to throw me at your head.
+[_Louder but without turning._] Weren't you, Lucy dear?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_caught listening, turns abruptly to the others_]
+
+These New Women are utterly shameless.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_to ERNEST_]
+
+These old-fashioned women are utterly shameless. After a decent
+interval, they will all with one accord make excuses to leave us here
+alone, so that I can--[_she comes nearer_] ensnare you! [_ERNEST laughs
+nervously._] Lucy is going to say--[_imitates LUCY'S sweet tones_]: "If
+you'll excuse me, I always take forty winks before dressing." Dressing
+is the hardest work Lucy has to do. Cousin Theodore will find that he
+_must_ write to his wife, and Uncle Everett will feel a yearning for the
+billiard room. [_ERNEST is nodding and chuckling._] They're hanging on
+longer than usual to-day, and I simply must have a talk with you.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Our shop-talk would scandalize 'em!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Wait, I'll get rid of them!
+
+    [_She sits and begins to make tea._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I've had my tea, thanks.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Stupid! Sit down. [_Indicates a chair close to hers. He takes it
+cautiously._] We'll have a little fun with them in a minute.
+
+    [_She is busy now making tea._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_to LUCY and the JUDGE apart_]
+
+You may be right, Uncle Everett, but upon my word it is the strangest
+courtship I ever witnessed.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+They ought to be spanked.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Don't worry, old Mother Nature will attend to that.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Well, I may be old-fashioned, but----
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_interrupting_]
+
+But this is merely a new fashion, my dear Lucy. Nature her ancient
+custom holds, let science say what it will.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_handing cup to ERNEST with a glance at the others_]
+
+Now, then, be attentive to me. [_He leans toward her rather shyly,
+abashed by her nearness. She makes eyes at him reproachfully._] Oh,
+can't you be more attentive than that? [_She acts like a coquette and he
+looks into her beautiful eyes and while he is doing so she says with a
+fascinating drawl_] Now tell me a-all about anterior poliomyelitis!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_suddenly taken aback, he laughs_]
+
+Nothing doing since you left.
+
+    [_And bends close to explain._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+If you'll excuse me, Doctor Hamilton, I always take forty winks before
+dressing. We dine at eight.
+
+    [_Going, she signals to the others. ERNEST and HELEN exchange
+    smiles._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_laughing, to LUCY_]
+
+Ss't! Don't tell John what's going on! Keep him busy telephoning. [_LUCY
+nods excitedly and almost runs to obey the Church._] Helen, if you and
+Ernest will excuse me, I really must write to Mary.
+
+    [_Their shoulders are close together and they seem too absorbed
+    to reply. THEODORE smiles down upon them and signals the JUDGE to
+    come along. The JUDGE, however, shakes his head but waves THEODORE
+    into the house. Uncle Everett looks at the lovers with quizzical
+    interest. He draws near and eavesdrops shamelessly._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+You oughtn't to have dropped the polio experiments.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You oughtn't to have dropped me--right in the _midst_ of the
+experiments. Those agar plates you were incubating dried up and
+spoiled. You played the very devil with my data.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+God bless my soul! what are we coming to?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_without turning_]
+
+It's perfectly proper for your little ears, uncle, only you can't
+understand a word of it. Won't _any_ one play billiards with you?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+But I'm fascinated. It's so idyllic. Makes me feel young again.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_to ERNEST_]
+
+Oh, you have plenty of men assistants who can estimate antitoxin units.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Men assistants lose interest. They are all so confoundedly ambitious to
+do original work. Why is it women can stand day after day of monotonous
+detail better than men?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Because men always made them tend the home!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Ah, nothing like a good old-fashioned love scene--in the scientific
+spirit.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Uncle, dear! _Can't_ you see that he is paying me wonderful compliments?
+Haven't you any tact? Go and play Canfield in the library.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_lighting cigar_]
+
+Very well, I'll leave you to your own devices--and may God, _your_ God,
+have mercy on your scientific souls.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with sudden animation and camaraderie, thinking they are alone_]
+
+Now I must tell you what Doctor Metchnikoff said about you and your
+future!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Sst! [_HELEN and ERNEST turn._] My children--[_Pause--raises his
+hand._] Don't forget the scientific spirit!
+
+    [_The JUDGE saunters off into the garden, smoking._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+How did you ever meet Metchnikoff?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_chaffing_]
+
+I had worked under Hamilton! They _all_ wanted to meet me.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with an unmistakable look_]
+
+U'm ... was that why? [_Fleeing danger._] Didn't you let them know your
+part in that discovery? Why, if it hadn't been for you, I should never
+have stumbled upon the thing at all.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, I know my place too well for that! Talk about _artistic_
+temperament, you scientists are worse than prima donnas.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_takes printers' proofs out of pocket, hands them to her in silence_]
+
+Some proofs of a monograph I was correcting on the train. Mind
+hammering those loose sentences of mine into decent English? You can
+write--I can't.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_reading innocently_]
+
+"Recent Experiments in Anterior Poliomyelitis by Ernest Hamilton, M.D.,
+Ph.D., and Helen"--what! why, you've put _my_ name with yours!
+
+    [_Much excited and delighted._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Well, if you object--like a prima donna----
+
+    [_Takes out pencil to mark on proof._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_snatching proofs away_]
+
+Object? Why, this makes my reputation in the scientific world.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Well, didn't you make mine?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_still glowing with pride, but touched by his unexpected generosity_]
+
+You can't imagine what this means to me. It's so hard for a woman to get
+any recognition. Most men have but one use for us. If we get interested
+in anything but _them_ it is "unwomanly"--they call it "a fad." But
+they've _got_ to take me seriously now. My name with Ernest Hamilton's!
+
+    [_Points to her name and swaggers back and forth._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_bantering_]
+
+But then, you see, you are a very exceptional woman. Why, you have a
+mind like a man.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Like a man? [_Coming close to him, tempting him._] If you had a mind
+like a woman you would know better than to say that to me!
+
+    [_Re-enter JUDGE from garden. He smiles and glances at them. The
+    lovers keep quiet as he crosses to the door. Then they look at
+    each other and smile. JUDGE has gone into the house. It is nearly
+    dark. The moon is rising._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_raises eyebrows_]
+
+They all take for granted that I want to make love to you.
+
+    [_Smiles but avoids her eyes._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_avoids his_]
+
+Well, you took for granted that I wanted you to!... You are about the
+most conceited man I ever knew.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+How can I help it when you admire me so?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I? Admire you?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You're always telling me what great things I'm going to do--stimulating
+me, pushing me along. Why, after you left, everything went slump. Tell
+me, why did you leave? Was I rude to you? Did I hurt your feelings?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Not in the least. It was entirely out of respect for _your_ feelings.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+_My_ feelings? [_Laughing._] Oh, I see. You got it into your head that
+_I_ wanted to marry _you_!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Men sometimes do.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_looks away_]
+
+I suppose they do.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+It's been known to happen.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Talk about conceit! Well, you needn't be afraid! I'll never ask you to
+marry _me_.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_turns and looks at him a moment_]
+
+You can't imagine what a weight this takes off my mind.
+
+    [_She looks away and sighs._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_enthusiastically_]
+
+Yes! I feel as if a veil between us had been lifted.
+
+    [_He looks away and sighs too. Some one begins "Tristan and
+    Isolde" on the piano within. The moon is up._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_after a pause_]
+
+Suppose we talk about--our work.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Yes! Our work. Let's drop the other subject. Look at the moon!
+
+    [_Music and the moonlight flooding them._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Seriously, you promise never to _mention_ the subject again?
+
+    [_She keeps her eyes averted._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I promise.
+
+    [_He keeps his eyes averted._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_turning to him with a sudden change to girlish enthusiasm_]
+
+Then I'll go to Paris with you!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_recoils_]
+
+What's that?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Why, Doctor Metchnikoff--he promised me he would invite you.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Yes, but--
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Don't miss the chance of a lifetime!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+No, but you--_you_ can't come!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_simply_]
+
+If you need me I can, and you just said----
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+But you mustn't come to Paris with me!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Don't you want me with you?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You are to stay at home and run the department for me.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_stepping back_]
+
+Don't you want me with you?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_stepping forward, with his heart in voice_]
+
+Do I _want_ you! [_Stops._] But I am a man--you are a woman.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+What of it? Are you one of those small men who care what people say? No!
+That's not your reason! [_She sees that it is not._] What is it? You
+must tell me.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_hesitates_]
+
+It's only for your sake.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with feeling_]
+
+Think of all I've done for _your_ sake. You wouldn't be going yourself
+but for me! I was the one to see you needed it, I proposed it to
+Metchnikoff--I urged him--_made_ him ask you--for _your sake_! And now
+am I to be left at home like a child because you don't care to be
+embarrassed with me?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Oh, please! This is so unfair. But I simply can't take you now.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with growing scorn_]
+
+Oh! You are all alike. You pile work upon me until I nearly drop, you
+play upon my interest, my sympathy--you get all you can out of me--my
+youth, my strength, my best! And then, just as I, too, have a chance to
+arrive in my profession, you, of all men, throw me over! I hate men. I
+hate you!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+And I love you!
+
+    [_They stare at each other in silence, the moonlight flooding
+    HELEN'S face, the music coming clear._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_in an awed whisper, stepping back slowly_]
+
+I've done it! I've done it! I _knew_ I'd do it!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+No. I did it. Forgive me. I had to do it.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, and this spoils everything!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_comes closer_]
+
+No! It glorifies everything! [_He breaks loose._] I have loved you from
+the first day you came and looked up at me for orders. I didn't want you
+there; I didn't want any woman there. I tried to tire you out with
+overwork but couldn't. I tried to drive you out by rudeness, but you
+stayed. And that made me love you more. Oh, I love you! I love you! I
+love you!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Don't; oh, don't love me!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_still closer_]
+
+Why, I never knew there could be women like you. I thought women were
+merely something to be wanted and worshipped, petted and patronized. But
+now--why, I love everything about you: your wonderful, brave eyes that
+face the naked facts of life and are not ashamed; those beautiful hands
+that toiled so long, so well, so close to mine and not afraid, not
+afraid!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+You mustn't! I _am_ afraid now! I made you say it. [_Smiling and
+crying._] I have always wanted to make you say it. I have always
+sworn you shouldn't.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_pained_]
+
+Because you cannot care enough?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Enough?... Too much.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_overwhelmed_]
+
+You--love--me!
+
+    [_He takes her in his arms, a silent embrace with only the bland
+    blase moon looking on._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+It is because I love you that I didn't want you to say it--only I did.
+It is because I love you that I went abroad--to stay, only I couldn't! I
+couldn't stay away! [_She holds his face in her hands._] Oh, do you know
+how I love you? No!... you're only a _man_!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_kissing her rapturously_]
+
+Every day there in the laboratory, when you in your apron--that dear
+apron which I stole from your locker when you left me--when you asked
+for orders--did you know that I wanted to say: "Love me"! Every day when
+you took up your work, did you never guess that I wanted to take you up
+in my arms?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_smiling up into his face_]
+
+Why didn't you?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Thank God I didn't! For while we worked there together I came to know
+you as few men ever know the women they desire. Woman can be more than
+sex, as man is more than sex. And all this makes man and woman not less
+but more _overwhelmingly_ desirable and necessary to each other, and
+makes both things last--not for a few years, but forever!
+
+    [_Sound of voices approaching from the garden. The lovers
+    separate. It is JEAN and REX, REX laughing, JEAN dodging until
+    caught and kissed._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+No, no--it's time to dress.... Be good, Rex--don't!
+
+    [_Without seeing HELEN and ERNEST, they disappear into the house.
+    HELEN is suddenly changed, as if awakened from a spell of
+    enchantment._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+What have we done! This is all moonlight and madness. To-morrow comes
+the clear light of day.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Ah, but we'll love each other to-morrow!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But we cannot marry--then or any other to-morrow.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Can't? What nonsense!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_shaking her head and restraining him_]
+
+I have slaved for you all these months--not because I wanted to win you
+from your work but to help you in it. And now--after all--shall I
+destroy you? No! No!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I _love_ you--you love _me_--nothing else matters.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Everything else matters. I'm not a little debutante to be persuaded that
+I am needed because I am wanted! I haven't _played_ with you; I have
+_worked_ with you, and I _know_! Think of Theodore! Think of Lucy! And
+now poor little Jean. Marry you? Never!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You mean your career?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with supreme scorn_]
+
+_My_ career? No! yours--always yours!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with the same scorn and a snap of the fingers_]
+
+Then _that_ for my career. I'll go back into private practice and make a
+million.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+That's just what I said you'd do. Just what you must not do! Your work
+is needed by the world.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_wooing_]
+
+You are my world and I need you.... But there is no love without
+marriage, no marriage without money.... We can take it or leave it. Can
+we leave it? No! I can't--you can't! Come! [_She steps back slowly._]
+Why should we sacrifice the best! Come!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+So _this_ is what marriage means! Then I _cannot_ marry you, Ernest!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You cannot do without me, Helen! [_Holds out his arms._] Come! You have
+been in my arms once. You and I can never forget that now. We can never
+go back now. It's all--or nothing now. Come! [_She is struggling against
+her passion. He stands still, with arms held out._] I shall not woo you
+against your will, but you are coming to me! Because, by all the powers
+of earth and heaven, you are mine and I am yours! Come!
+
+    [_Like a homing pigeon she darts into his arms with a gasp of joy.
+    A rapturous embrace in silence with the moonlight streaming down
+    upon them. The music has stopped._
+
+    _JOHN, dressed for dinner, strolls out upon the terrace. He stops
+    abruptly upon discovering them. The lovers are too absorbed to be
+    aware of his presence._
+
+
+
+
+ACT II
+
+
+    _It is the next morning, Sunday._
+
+    _It appears that at JOHN'S country place they have breakfast at
+    small tables out upon the broad, shaded terrace overlooking the
+    glorious view of his little farm._
+
+    _ERNEST and THEODORE, the scientist and the clergyman, are
+    breakfasting together. The others are either breakfasting in their
+    rooms or are not yet down, it being Sunday._
+
+    _The man of God is enjoying his material blessings heartily. Also
+    he seems to be enjoying his view of the man of science, who eats
+    little and says less._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_with coffee-cup poised_]
+
+What's the matter with your appetite this morning, Ernest? [_ERNEST,
+gazing up at one of the second-story windows, does not hear. The door
+opens. He starts. Then, seeing it's only a servant with food, he
+sighs._] Expecting something? The codfish balls? Well, here they are.
+[_ERNEST refuses the proffered codfish balls, scowls, brings out cigar
+case, lights cigar, looks at watch, and fidgets._] Oh, I know--you're
+crazy to go with me--to church! [_ERNEST doesn't hear. Creates a cloud
+of smoke._] Their regular rector is ill. So I agreed to take the service
+this morning.... Always the way when off for a rest ... isn't it? [_No
+answer. THEODORE gets up, walks around the table, and shouts in ERNEST'S
+face._] Isn't it?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_startled_]
+
+I beg your pardon?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_laughs, ERNEST wondering what's the joke_]
+
+Oh, you're hopeless! [_Going._] I can't stand people who talk so much at
+breakfast.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_suddenly wakes up_]
+
+Wait a minute. Sit down. Have a cigar. Let's talk about God. [_THEODORE
+stops smiling._] But I mean it. I'd like to have a religion myself.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+I had an idea you took no stock in religion.
+
+    [_Takes the cigar. ERNEST holds a match for him._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_enthusiastically_]
+
+Just what I thought, until ... well, I've made a discovery, a great
+discovery!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+A scientific discovery?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with a wave of the hand_]
+
+It makes all science look like a ... mere machine.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Well, if you feel so strongly about it ... better come to church after
+all!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I'm not talking about the Church--I'm talking about _religion_.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+You're not talking about religion; you're talking about--love.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_quietly_]
+
+Certainly; the same thing, isn't it? I'm talking about the divine fire
+that glorifies life and perpetuates it--the one eternal thing we mortals
+share with God.... If _that_ isn't religious, what is? [_THEODORE smiles
+indulgently._] Tell me, Theodore--you know I wasn't allowed to go to
+church when young, and since then I've always worked on the holy Sabbath
+day, like yourself--does the Church still let innocent human beings
+think there's something inherently wrong about sex? [_THEODORE drops his
+eyes. ERNEST disgusted with him._] I see! Good people should drop their
+eyes even at the mention of the word.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Sex is a necessary evil, I admit, but----
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_laughs_]
+
+Evil! The God-given impulse which accounts for you sitting there, for me
+sitting here? The splendid instinct which writes our poetry, builds our
+civilizations, founds our churches--the very heart and soul of life is
+evil. Really, Theodore, I don't know much about religion, but that
+strikes me as blasphemy against the Creator.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Very scientific, my boy, very modern; but the Church believed in
+marriage before Science was born.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+As a compromise with evil?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+As a sacrament of religion--and so do you!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Good! Then why practise and preach marriage as a sacrament of property?
+"Who giveth this woman to be married to this man--" Women are still
+goods and chattels to be given or sold, are they?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Oh, nonsense!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Then why keep on making them promise to "serve and obey"? Why marry them
+with a ring--the link of the ancient chain? [_He smiles._] In the days
+of physical force it was made of iron--now of gold. But it's still a
+chain, isn't it?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Symbols, my dear fellow, not to be taken in a literal
+sense--time-honored and beautiful symbols.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+But why insult a woman you respect--even symbolically?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_with a laugh_]
+
+Oh, you scientists!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_joining in the laugh_]
+
+We try to find the truth--and you try to hide it, eh? Well, there's one
+thing we have in common, anyway--one faith I'll never doubt again; I
+believe in Heaven now. I always shall.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Do you mind telling me why, my boy?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Not in the least. I've been there. [_JOHN comes out to breakfast. He is
+scowling._] Good morning; could you spare me five minutes?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_ringing bell_]
+
+Haven't had breakfast yet.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+After breakfast?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I've an appointment with young Baker.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_smiles_]
+
+I'll wait my turn.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Going to be pretty busy to-day--you, too, I suppose, if you're sailing
+to-morrow.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I can postpone sailing. This is more important.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I should hate to see _anything_ interfere with your career.
+
+    [_LUCY also arrives for breakfast. She "always pours her husband's
+    coffee."_
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I appreciate your interest, but I'll look out for my "career." [_To
+LUCY._] Could you tell me when your sister will be down?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_overriding LUCY_]
+
+My sister is ill and won't be down at all ... until _after_ you _leave_.
+
+    [_LUCY pretends not to hear. THEODORE walks away._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_aroused, but calm_]
+
+I don't believe you quite understand. It is a matter of indifference to
+me whether we have a talk or not. Entirely out of courtesy to you that I
+suggest it.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Don't inconvenience yourself on my account.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_shrugs shoulders and turns to THEODORE_]
+
+Wait, I think I'll sit in church till train time.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_smoothing it over_]
+
+Come along. I'm going to preach about marriage!
+
+    [_THEODORE starts off._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_going, turns to LUCY_]
+
+Thanks for your kindness. Will you ask the valet to pack my things,
+please? I'll call for them on the way to the station. [_To JOHN._] Do
+you understand? I have no favors to ask of you. You don't own your
+sister--she owns herself.
+
+    [_The scientist goes to church._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with a loud laugh, turns to LUCY_]
+
+Rather impertinent for a two-thousand-dollar man, I think. [_Resumes
+breakfast, picks up newspaper. LUCY says nothing, attending to his
+wants solicitously._] Bah! what does this highbrow know about the power
+men of my sort can use ... when we have to? [_LUCY cringes dutifully in
+silence. JOHN, paper in one hand, brusquely passes cup to LUCY with
+other._] Helen got her own way about college, about work, about living
+in her own apartment--but if she thinks she can put _this_ across!
+Humph! These modern women must learn their place. [_LUCY, smiling
+timidly, returns cup. JOHN takes it without thanks, busied in
+newspapers. A look of resentment creeps over LUCY'S pretty face, now
+that he can't see her._] Ah! I've got something up my sleeve for that
+young woman. [_LUCY says nothing, looks of contempt while he reads._]
+Well, why don't you say something?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_startled_]
+
+I thought you didn't like me to talk at breakfast, dear.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Think I like you to sit there like a mummy? [_No reply._] Haven't you
+_any_thing to say? [_Apparently not._] You never have any more, nothing
+interesting.... Does it ever occur to you that I'd like to be
+diverted?... No!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Yes.... Would you mind very much if ... if I left you, John?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Left me? When--where--how long?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_gathering courage_]
+
+Now--any place--entirely.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_bursts out laughing_]
+
+What suddenly put _this_ notion in your head?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+I'm sorry--John, but I've had it--oh, for years. I never dared ask you
+till now.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_still glancing over paper_]
+
+Like to leave me, would you?... You have no grounds for divorce, my
+dear.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But _you_ will have--after I leave you.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_yawns_]
+
+You have no lover to leave with.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_daintily_]
+
+But couldn't I just desert you--without anything horrid?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_reads_]
+
+No money to desert with.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_springs up_--_at bay_]
+
+You won't let me escape decently when I tell you I don't want to stay?
+When I tell you I can't stand being under your roof any longer? When I
+tell you I'm sick of this life?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_gets up calmly_]
+
+But, you see, I can stand it. I want you to stay. I'm not sick of it.
+You belong to me.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_shrinking away as he approaches_]
+
+Don't touch me! Every time you come near me I have to nerve myself to
+stand it.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+What's got into you? Don't I give you everything money can buy? My God,
+if I only gave you something to worry about; if I ran after other women
+like old man Baker----
+
+
+LUCY
+
+If you only would!--Then you'd let _me_ alone. To me you are repulsive.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_taking hold of her_]
+
+Lucy! You are my wife.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_looking him straight in the eye_]
+
+But you don't respect me, and I--I hate you--oh, how I hate you!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_holds her fast_]
+
+I am your husband, your lawful husband.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_stops struggling_]
+
+Yes, this is lawful--but, oh, what laws you men have made for women!
+
+    [_The JUDGE comes out, carrying a telegram._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Rather early in the day for conjugal embraces, if you should ask me.
+[_JOHN and LUCY separate._] Makes me quite sentimental and homesick.
+
+    [_JUDGE raises telegram and kisses it._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_calming herself_]
+
+From Aunt Julia again? Do you get telegrams every day from Reno?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+No, but she caught cold. Went to the theatre last night and caught a
+cold. So she wired me--naturally; got the habit of telling me her
+troubles, can't break it, even in Reno.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I thought she hated the theatre!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+So she does, but I'm fond of it; she went for my sake. She's got the
+habit of sacrificing herself for me. Just as hard to break good habits
+as bad.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+True women enjoy sacrificing themselves.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Yes, that's what we tell them. Well, we ought to know. We make 'em do
+it. [_Brings out a fountain pen and sits abruptly._] That's what I'll
+tell her. I can hear her laugh. You know her laugh.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_rings for a servant_]
+
+A telegraph blank?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_with a humorous expression he brings a whole pad of telegraph blanks
+out of another pocket_]
+
+Carry them with me nowadays. [_Begins to write._] Wish I hadn't sold my
+Western Union, John.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't believe you want that divorce very much.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+It doesn't matter what _I_ want--what she wants is the point. You must
+give the woman you marry tutti-frutti, divorces--everything.... Why,
+I've got the habit myself, and God knows I don't enjoy sacrifice--I'm a
+man! The superior sex!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't believe you appreciate that wife of yours.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_between the words he's writing_]
+
+Don't I? It isn't every wife that'd travel away out to Reno--you know
+how she hates travelling--and go to a theatre--and catch a cold--and get
+a divorce--all for the sake of an uncongenial husband. [_Suddenly
+getting an idea, strikes table._] I know what gave her a cold. She
+raised all the windows in her bedroom--for _my_ sake!--I always kept
+them down for _her_ sake. I'll have to scold her. [_Bends to his writing
+again._] Poor little thing! She doesn't know how to take care of herself
+without me. I doubt if she ever will.
+
+    [_Looks over telegram. A SERVANT comes, takes telegram, and goes._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Uncle Everett, I want your advice.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+John! do _you_ want a divorce?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+No, we are not that sort, are we, Lucy? [_No answer._] Are we, dear?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_after a pause_]
+
+No, we are not that sort!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+We believe in the sanctity of the home, the holiness of marriage.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Yes, we believe in--"the holiness of marriage!"
+
+    [_Turns away, covering her face with her hands and shuddering._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Lucy, tell Helen and Jean to come here. [_LUCY goes._] Well, young Baker
+spoke to me about Jean last night. I told him I'd think it over and give
+him my decision this morning.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+That's right. Mustn't seem too anxious, John. When the properly
+qualified male offers one of our dependent females a chance at woman's
+only true career, of course it's up to us to look disappointed.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But I didn't bring up the little matter you spoke of.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+About that chorus girl?... Afraid of scaring him off?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Not at all, but--well, it's all over and it's all fixed. No scandal, no
+blackmail.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Hum! By the way, got anything on Hamilton?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+I don't believe in saints myself.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+I see.... Good thing, for Jean Rex isn't a saint. I suppose you'd break
+off the match.
+
+    [_REX, in riding clothes, comes out. JOHN salutes him warmly. The
+    JUDGE is reading the paper._
+
+
+REX
+
+[_not eagerly_]
+
+Well?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, of course, you realize that you're asking a great deal of me, Rex,
+but--[_Offers hand to REX warmly._] Be good to her, my boy, be good to
+her.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_shaking hands, forced warmth_]
+
+Thanks awfully. See-what-I-mean? [_To JUDGE._] Congratulate me, Judge;
+I'm the happiest of men.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_looking up from newspaper_]
+
+So I see. Don't let it worry you.
+
+    [_JEAN, in riding costume, comes from the house._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_signalling JUDGE to leave_]
+
+If Helen asks for me, I'm in the garden.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+If any telegrams come for me, I'm writing to _my wife_!
+
+    [_JEAN and REX alone, they look at each other, not very loverlike._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_impulsively_]
+
+You weren't in love with me yesterday. You aren't now. You would get out
+of it if you honorably could. But you honorably _can't_! So you have
+spoken to John; you are going to see it through, because you're a good
+sport.... I admire you for that, Rex, too much to hold you to it. You
+are released.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_amazed_]
+
+Why--why--you--you don't suppose I want to be released?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Well, I do!... Yesterday I let you propose to me when I cared for some
+one else. That's not fair to you, to me, to him!
+
+
+REX
+
+[_in a sudden fury_]
+
+Who is he? What do you mean by this? Why didn't you tell me?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I am telling you now. What have you ever told me about yourself?
+
+
+REX
+
+[_blinking_]
+
+You had no right to play fast and loose with me.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I'm making the only amends I can. You are free, I tell you.
+
+
+REX
+
+I don't want to be free! He can't have you! You are mine! If you think
+you can make me stop loving you----
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_interrupting_]
+
+Love, Rex? Only jealousy. You've never been in love with me--you've
+always been in love with Helen. But you couldn't get her, so you took
+me. Isn't that true, Rex?
+
+
+REX
+
+[_after an uncomfortable pause_]
+
+I'll be honest with you, too. Yesterday I wasn't really very serious. I
+felt like a brute afterward. You tried your best to prevent what
+happened and ran away from me. But now----
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Don't you know why I ran away? To make you follow. I made you catch me.
+I made you kiss me. Then you realized that we had been thrown together
+constantly--deliberately thrown together, if you care to know it--and,
+well, that's how many marriages are made. But I shan't marry on such
+terms. It's indecent!
+
+
+REX
+
+[_another pause_]
+
+I never thought a _woman_ could be capable of such honesty!... Oh, what
+a bully sport you are! You aren't like the rest that have been shoved at
+me. Why, I can respect you. You are the one for me.
+
+    [_He tries to take her._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_restraining him with dignity_]
+
+I am sorry, Rex, but I am not for you.
+
+
+REX
+
+Jean! without you ... don't you see--I'll go straight to the devil!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+That old, cowardly dodge? Any man who has no more backbone than
+that--why, I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man in the world.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_frantic to possess what he cannot have_]
+
+You won't, eh? We'll see about that. I want you now as I never wanted
+anything in my life, and I'll win you from him yet. You'll see!
+
+    [_HELEN now appears._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, I beg your pardon. Lucy said John was out here.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I'll call him.
+
+    [_She runs down into the garden._
+
+
+REX
+
+I'll call him.
+
+    [_He runs after JEAN. HELEN helplessly watches them go, sighs,
+    standing by the garden steps until JOHN ascends. He looks at HELEN
+    a moment, wondering how to begin. She looks so capable and
+    unafraid of him._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+If you hadn't gone to college, you could have done what Jean is doing.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with a shrug and a smile_]
+
+But how proud you must be, John, to have a sister who isn't compelled to
+marry one man while in love with another. _Now_, aren't you glad I went
+to college?
+
+    [_She laughs good-naturedly at him._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Humph! If you think I'd let a sister of mine marry one of old man
+Baker's two-thousand-dollar employees----
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Why, John, didn't Ernest tell you? Doctor Hawksbee has offered him a
+partnership. Just think of that!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+What! Going back into private practice?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But it's such a fashionable practice. Hawksbee's made a million at it.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But the institute needs Hamilton.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ah, but we need the money!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_disconcerted_]
+
+So you are going to spoil a noble career, are you? That's selfish. I
+didn't think it of you. There are thousands of successful physicians,
+but there is only one Ernest Hamilton.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_laughs_]
+
+Oh, don't worry, John, he has promised me to keep his
+two-thousand-dollar job.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Ah, I'm glad. You must let nothing interfere with his great humanitarian
+work. Think what it means to the lives of little children! Think what it
+means to the future of the race! Why, every one says his greatest
+usefulness has hardly begun!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, I know all that, I've thought of all that.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Now, such men should be kept free from cares and anxiety. What was it
+you said yesterday? "He needs every cent of his salary for books,
+travel, all the advantages he simply must have for efficiency." To marry
+a poor man--most selfish thing a girl could do!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Yes, John, that's what I said yesterday.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_scoring_]
+
+But that was before he asked you! [_HELEN smiles. He sneers._] Rather
+pleased with yourself now, aren't you? "Just a woman after
+all"--heroine of cheap magazine story! Sacrifices career for love!...
+All very pretty and romantic, my dear--but how about the man you love!
+Want to sacrifice his career, too?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But I'm not going to sacrifice what you are pleased to call my
+career.... Therefore he won't have to sacrifice his.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+What! going to keep on working? Will he let the woman he loves work!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_demure_]
+
+Well, you see, he says I'm "too good" to loaf.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Humph! who'll take care of your home when you're at work? Who'll take
+care of your work when you're at home. Look at it practically. To
+maintain such a home as he needs on such a salary as he has--why, it
+would take all your time, all your energy. To keep him in his class
+you'll have to drop out of your own, become a household drudge, a
+servant.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+And if I am willing?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Then where's your intellectual companionship? How'll you help his work?
+Expense for him, disillusionment for both. If you're the woman you
+pretend to be, you won't marry that man!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_strong_]
+
+The world needs his work, but he needs mine, and we both need each
+other.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_stronger_]
+
+And marriage would only handicap his work, ruin yours, and put you
+apart. You know that's true. You've seen it happen with others. You have
+told me so yourself!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Then that settles it! We must not, cannot, shall not marry. We have no
+right to marry. I agree with all you say--it would not join us together;
+it would put us asunder.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+And you'll give him up? Good! Good!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Give him up? Never! The right to work, the right to love--those rights
+are inalienable. No, we'll give up marriage but not each other.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But--but--I don't understand.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_straight in his eyes_]
+
+We need each other--in our work and in our life--and we're to have each
+other--until life is ended and our work is done. Now, do you understand?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_recoiling_]
+
+Are you in your right mind? Think what you're saying.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I have thought all night, John. You have shown me how to say it.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But, but--why, this is utterly unbelievable! Why I'm not even shocked.
+Do you notice? I'm not even shocked? Because everything you have said,
+everything you have done--it all proves that you are a good woman.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+If I were a bad woman, I'd inveigle him into marriage, John.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Inveigle! Marriage! Are you crazy? ... Oh, this is all one of your
+highbrow jokes!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+John, weren't you serious when you said marriage would destroy him?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But this would destroy _you_!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Well, even if that were so, which is more important to the world? Which
+is more important to your "great humanitarian work"?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Ah, very clever! A bluff to gain my consent to marrying him--a trick to
+get his salary raised.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with force_]
+
+John, nothing you can do, nothing you can say, will ever gain my consent
+to marrying him. I've not told you half my reasons.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+My God! my own sister! And did you, for one moment, dream that I would
+consent to that!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Not for one moment. I'm not asking your consent. I'm just telling you.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_after scrutinizing her_]
+
+Ridiculous! If you really meant to run away with this fellow, would you
+come and tell _me_, your own brother?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Do you suppose I'd _run_ away without telling, even my own brother?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_looks at her a moment; she returns his gaze_]
+
+Bah!--all pose and poppycock! [_He abruptly touches bell._] I'll soon
+put a stop to this nonsense. [_Muttering._] Damnedest thing I ever heard
+of.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+John, I understand exactly what I'm doing. You never will. But nothing
+you can do can stop me now.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+We'll see about that. [_The BUTLER appears._] Ask the others to step out
+here at once; all except Miss Jean and Mr. Baker, I don't want them. Is
+Doctor Hamilton about?
+
+
+BUTLER
+
+No, sir, he went to church.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+All right. [_The BUTLER disappears._] To church! My God!
+
+    [_HELEN pays no attention. She gazes straight out into the future,
+    head high, eyes clear and wide open._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+First of all, when the others come out, I'm going to ask them to look
+you in the face. Then you can make this statement to them, if you wish,
+and--look them in the face.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_with quiet scorn_]
+
+If I were being forced into such a marriage as poor little Jean's, I
+would kill myself. But in the eyes of God, who made love, no matter how
+I may appear in the eyes of man, who made marriage, I know that I am
+doing right.
+
+    [_LUCY comes out, followed by the JUDGE._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_not seeing them. He is loud_]
+
+Say that to Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore! Say that to my wife,
+stand up and say that to the world, if you dare.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_to JUDGE_]
+
+She has told him!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_wheeling about_]
+
+What! did she tell you? Why didn't you come to me at once?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_tremulous_]
+
+She said she wanted to tell you herself. I didn't think she'd dare!
+
+    [_They all turn to look at HELEN. THEODORE comes back from church
+    alone._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+It had to be announced, of course.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_advancing, beaming_]
+
+Announced? What is announced?
+
+    [_All turn to him in a panic._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_hurriedly_]
+
+Their engagement, Theodore!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_overriding HELEN_]
+
+Yes, John has given his consent at last--example to society.
+
+    [_Prods JOHN._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_also overrides HELEN_]
+
+Of course! One of the finest fellows in the world.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_delighted_]
+
+And withal he has a deep religious nature. Congratulations. My dear,
+he'll make an ideal husband.
+
+    [_Takes both HELEN'S hands, about to kiss her._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_can't help smiling_]
+
+Thank you, cousin, but I don't want a husband.
+
+    [_A sudden silence._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_looks from one to the other_]
+
+A lover's quarrel?--already!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_enjoying it_]
+
+No, Theodore, these lovers are in perfect accord. They both have
+conscientious scruples against marriage.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Conscientious!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+So they are simply going to set up housekeeping without the mere
+formality of a wedding ceremony.
+
+    [_THEODORE drops HELEN'S hands._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_quietly_]
+
+We are going to do nothing of the sort.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Uncle Everett!
+
+    [_Takes her hands again._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+We are not going to set up housekeeping at all. He will keep his present
+quarters and I mine.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But they are going to belong to each other.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_drops HELEN'S hands--aghast_]
+
+I don't believe it.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_apart to THEODORE_]
+
+The strike against marriage. It was bound to come.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_to JUDGE_]
+
+But Church and State--[_indicates self and JUDGE_] must break this
+strike.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+John is a practical man. He will prove to you that such a home as we
+could afford would only be a stumbling-block to Ernest's usefulness, a
+hollow sphere for mine. You can't fill it with mere happiness, Lucy, not
+for long, not for long.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_restrains THEODORE about to reply_]
+
+Oh, let her get it all nicely talked out, then she'll take a nap and
+wake up feeling better. [_Whispering._] We've driven her to this
+ourselves, but she really doesn't mean a word of it. Come, dear child,
+tell us all about this nightmare.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_smiles at the JUDGE_]
+
+Why, think what would happen to an eager intellect like Ernest
+Hamilton's if he had to come back to a narrow-minded apartment or a
+dreary suburb every evening and eat morbid meals opposite a housewife
+regaling him with the social ambitions of the other commuters. Ugh! It
+has ruined enough brilliant men already. [_JUDGE restrains THEODORE and
+others who want to interrupt._] Now at the University Club he dines, at
+slight expense compared with keeping up a home, upon the best food in
+the city with some of the best scientists in the country.... Marriage
+would divorce him from all that, would transplant him from an atmosphere
+of ideas into an atmosphere of worries. We should be forced into the
+same deadly ruts as the rest of you, uncle. Do you want me to destroy a
+great career, Theodore?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Do you want to be a blot upon that career?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_lightly_]
+
+I'd rather be a blot than a blight, and that's what I'd be if I became
+his bride. Ask John.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Do you want to be disgraced, despised, ostracized!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_smiles at LUCY_]
+
+A choice of evils, dear; of course, none of those costly well-kept wives
+on your visiting list will call upon me. But instead of one day at home,
+instead of making a tired husband work for me, I'll have all my days
+free to work with him, like the old-fashioned woman you admire! Instead
+of being an expense, I'll be a help to him; instead of being separated
+by marriage and divergent interests, we'll be united by love and common
+peril.... Isn't that the orthodox way to gain character, Theodore?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Oh, this is all damned nonsense! Look here, you've either got to marry
+this fellow now or else go away and never see him again; never, never!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Just what I thought, John. I intended never to see him again. That was
+why I let you send me abroad. But I'll never, never do it again.
+[_Smiling like an engaged girl._] It was perfectly dreadful! Ernest
+couldn't get along without me at all, poor old thing. And I, why, I
+nearly died.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Then you'll have to be married, that's all.
+
+
+THE OTHERS
+
+Why, of course you'll have to, that's all.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_nodding_]
+
+Oh, I know just how you feel about it. I thought so, too, at first, but
+I can't marry Ernest Hamilton. I love him.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But if you love him truly--marriage, my dear, brings together those who
+love each other truly.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But those who love each other truly don't need anything to bring them
+together. The difficulty is to keep apart.
+
+    [_A reminiscent shudder._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+That's all romantic rot! Every one feels that way at first.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+At first! Then the practical object of marriage is not to bring together
+those who love each other, but to keep together those who do not? [_To
+LUCY._] What a dreadful thing marriage must be!
+
+    [_JUDGE chokes down a chuckle._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Ah, so you wish to be free to separate. Now we have it.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+To separate? What an idea! On the contrary, we wish to be free to keep
+together! In the old days when they had interests in common marriage
+used to make man and woman one, but now it puts them apart. Can't you
+see it all about you? He goes down-town and works; she stays up-town and
+plays. He belongs to the laboring class; she belongs to the leisure
+class. At best, they seldom work at the same or similar trades. Legally
+it may be a union, but socially it's a mesalliance--in the eyes of God
+it's often worse.... No wonder that one in eleven ends in divorce. The
+only way to avoid spiritual separation is to shun legal union like a
+contagious disease. Modern marriage _is_ divorce. [_She turns to go,
+defiantly._] I've found my work, I've found my mate, and so has he! What
+more can any human being ask?
+
+    [_The BUTLER appears._
+
+
+BUTLER
+
+[_to JOHN_]
+
+Doctor Hamilton is outside in a taxicab, sir.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Show him here at once!
+
+
+BUTLER
+
+He says he does not care to come in, sir, unless you are ready to talk
+to him now.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, of all the nerve! You bet I'm ready!
+
+    [_Starts off. HELEN starts, too._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_intercepting them calmly_]
+
+Wait a minute--wait a minute. [_To SERVANT._] Ask Doctor Hamilton kindly
+to wait in the library. [_The BUTLER goes._] Now, we're all a bit
+overwrought. [_Soothes HELEN, pats her hand, puts arm about her,
+gradually leads her back._] I still believe in you, Helen, I still
+believe in him. [_To all._] It's simply that he's so deeply absorbed in
+his great work for mankind that he doesn't realize what he is asking
+Helen to do.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_quietly_]
+
+So I told him ... when he asked me to marry him.
+
+
+ALL
+
+What! He _asked_ you to _marry_ him?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Of course! _Implored_ me to marry him. [_She adds, smiling._] So
+absorbed--not in mankind, but in me--that he "didn't realize what he
+was asking me to do."
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_utterly amazed_]
+
+And you refused him! The man who loves you honorably?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_demurely_]
+
+Of course! You don't suppose I'd take advantage of the poor fellow's
+weakness. Women often do, I admit--even when not in love, sometimes....
+Not because they're depraved but dependent.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_to all_]
+
+And then he proposed this wicked substitute! Poisoned her innocent
+mind--the bounder!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But he did nothing of the sort.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Oh, your own idea, was it?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Of course!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_to all_]
+
+And he is willing to take advantage of the poor child's ignorance--the
+cad! [_To THEODORE._] "Deep religious nature," eh?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+I can't believe it of him.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+He knows nothing about it yet. I haven't even seen him since I made my
+decision.
+
+    [_All exchange bewildered glances._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_apart to JUDGE_]
+
+We've got to get him off to Paris. It's our only hope.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_apart to JOHN_]
+
+You can't stop her following. She's on the edge of the precipice--do you
+want to shove her over? You are dealing with big people here and a big
+passion.
+
+    [_The BUTLER returns._
+
+
+BUTLER
+
+Doctor Hamilton asks to see Miss Helen while waiting.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_calmly to BUTLER_]
+
+Tell Doctor Hamilton that Miss Helen will see him here.
+
+    [_The BUTLER leaves._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Are you crazy! We've got to keep 'em apart--our one chance to save her.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+No, bring them together. _That_ is our one chance. Come, we'll go down
+into the garden and they'll have a nice little talk. Nothing like talk,
+John, honest talk, to clear these marriage problems.
+
+    [_Going._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+And let them elope? In that taxicab?--not on your life!
+
+    [_Runs to and fro._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Come, John, girls never notify the family in advance when they plan
+elopements. It's not done.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_going_]
+
+Uncle Everett is right. Ernest will bring her to her senses. He _has_ a
+deep religious nature.
+
+    [_JUDGE leads JOHN away to the garden._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_lingering--to HELEN_]
+
+If you offer yourself on such terms to the man who loves you honorably,
+he'll never look at you again.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_leading LUCY off to garden_]
+
+Don't worry! She won't.
+
+    [_ERNEST rushes out to HELEN._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ernest!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+At last! [_He takes her in his arms; she clings to him and gazes into
+his eyes; a long embrace._] Tell me that you're all right again.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_smiling with love and trust_]
+
+Except that you deserted me, dear, just when I needed you most. Ernest,
+Ernest! never leave me again.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Deserted you? Why, your brother said you were ill.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ah, I see ... he was mistaken.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_jubilant and boyish_]
+
+But never mind now, I've got you at last, and I'll never, never let you
+go. You've got to sail with me to-morrow. Together! Oh, think! Together.
+
+    [_Another embrace._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Are you _sure_ you love me?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_laughs from sheer joy of her nearness_]
+
+Am I sure? Ten million times more to-day than yesterday.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Even so ... it is not, and can never be, as I love you.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with her hands in his, gayly_]
+
+Then you can apologize.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Apologize?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+For saying, years and years ago--in other words, last night--that you
+didn't think you'd marry me after all. [_She starts._] Why, what's the
+matter? You're trembling like a leaf. You _are_ ill!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+No; oh, no.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_tenderly_]
+
+Still a few lingering doubts? I had hoped a good night's rest would put
+those little prejudices to sleep forever.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Sleep?
+
+    [_She shakes her head, gazing at him soberly._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+So you could not sleep? Neither could I; I was too happy to sleep. I was
+afraid I'd miss some wondrous throbbing thought of your loveliness.
+[_Takes her passive hand, puts a kiss in it, and closes it reverently
+while she looks into his eyes without moving._] Do you know, I'm
+disappointed in love. I always thought it meant soft sighs and pretty
+speeches. It means an agony of longing, delicious agony, but, oh,
+terrific. [_She says nothing._] Dear, dear girl, it may be easy for you,
+but I can't stand much more of this.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Nor I.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You must come to Paris with me or I'll stay home. All through the night
+I had waking visions of our being parted. Just when we had found each
+other at last. Some terrible impersonal monster stepped in between us
+and said: "No. Now that you have had your glimpse of heaven--away! Ye
+twain shall not enter here...." Silly, wasn't it? But I couldn't get the
+horror of it out of my head.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_nodding_]
+
+Do you know why, Ernest? Because it was in mine. It came from my thought
+to yours. You and I are attuned like wireless instruments. Even in the
+old blind days, there in the laboratory I used to read your mind. Shall
+I tell you the name of the monster that would put us asunder?... Its
+name is Marriage.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+But I need you. You know that. And you need me. It's too late. We are
+helpless now--in the clutch of forces more potent than our little
+selves--forces that brought us into the world--forces that have made the
+world. Whether you will or no, this beautiful binding power is sweeping
+you and me together. And you must yield.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_reaching for his hand_]
+
+Ah, my dear, could anything make it more beautiful, more binding than it
+is now?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+It is perfect. The one divine thing we share with God. The Church is
+right in that respect. I used to look upon marriage as a mere contract.
+It's a religious sacrament.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Does the wedding ceremony make it sacred?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+That mediaeval incantation! No, love, which is given by God, not the
+artificial form made by man.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I knew it! I knew you'd see it--the mistake of all the ages. They've
+tried to make love fit marriage. It can't be done. Marriage must be
+changed to fit love. [_Impulsively._] Yes, I'll go to Paris with you.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_about to take her in his arms_]
+
+You darling!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_steps back_]
+
+But not as your wife.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_stops--perplexed_]
+
+You mean ... without marriage?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I mean without marriage.
+
+    [_They look into each other's eyes._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+A moment ago I thought I loved you as much as man could love woman. I
+was mistaken in you--I was mistaken in myself. For now I love you as man
+never loved before. You superb, you wonderful woman!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_holds out her hand to be shaken, not caressed_]
+
+Then you agree?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_kneels, kisses her hand, and arises_]
+
+Of course not! You blessed girl, don't you suppose I understand? It's
+all for my sake. Therefore for your sake--no.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Then for my sake--for the sake of everything our love stands for!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_laughing fondly_]
+
+Do you think I'd let you do anything for anybody's sake you're sure,
+later, to regret?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Then don't ask me to marry you, Ernest. We'd both regret that later. It
+would destroy the two things that have brought us together, love and
+work.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Nonsense. Nothing could do that.... And besides, think of our poor
+horrified families! Think of the world's view!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Aren't we sacrificing enough for the world--money, comforts, even
+children? Must we also sacrifice each other to the world? Must we be
+hypocrites because others are? Must we, too, be cowards and take on the
+protective coloring of our species?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Our ideas may be higher than society's, but society rewards and punishes
+its members according to its own ideas, not ours.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Do you want society's rewards? Do you fear society's punishment?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_jubilantly enfolding her_]
+
+With you in my arms, I want nothing from heaven, I fear nothing from
+hell; but, my dear [_shrugs and comes down to earth with a smile and
+releases her_], consider the price, consider the price.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Aren't you willing to pay the price?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I? Yes! But it's the woman, always the woman, who pays.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I am willing to pay.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I am not willing to let you.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+You'll have to be, dear. I shall go with you on my terms or not at all.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_with decision_]
+
+You will come with me as my wife or stay at home.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_gasping_]
+
+Now? After all I've said, all I've done? Ernest: I've told the family! I
+relied upon you. I took for granted--Ernest, you wouldn't--you couldn't
+leave me behind now.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Thanks to you and what you've made of me, I must and will.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Ernest!
+
+    [_Opens her arms to him to take her._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_about to enfold her--resists_]
+
+No! If you love me enough for that [_points to her pleading hands_]--I
+love you enough for this. [_He turns to go._] Come when you're ready to
+marry me.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_shrill, excited, angered_]
+
+Do you think this has been easy for me? Do you think I'll offer myself
+again on any terms? Never!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You must marry me--and you will.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+You don't know me. Good-by!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Very well!
+
+    [_ERNEST, afraid to stay, goes at once. She waits motionless until
+    she hears the automobile carrying him away. She immediately turns
+    from stone to tears, with a low wail. In utter despair, hands
+    outstretched she sinks down upon a bench and buries her face in
+    her hands._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Oh, Ernest!... How could you?
+
+    [_LUCY, THEODORE, JUDGE and JOHN all hurry back, all excited._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Did you see his horrified look?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Fairly running away--revolted. Ah!
+
+    [_Points at HELEN. HELEN arises, defiant, confident, calm._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_to HELEN_]
+
+What did I tell you!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+You have thrown away the love of an honorable man.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Trampled upon the finest feelings of a deep nature.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Let this be a lesson to you. You've lost your chance to marry, your
+chance to work, and now, by heavens! you will cut out "independence" and
+stay at home, _where women belong_, and live down this disgrace ... if
+you can.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+With one excuse or another--he'll stay away. He'll never come back.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_clear and confident as if clairvoyant_]
+
+He will! He is coming now.... He is crossing the hall.... He is passing
+through the library.... He's here!
+
+    [_But she doesn't turn. ERNEST reappears at the door and takes in
+    the situation at a glance._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_still turned toward HELEN_]
+
+He'll never look at you again, and I don't blame him! I'm a man; I know.
+We don't respect women who sell out so cheap.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+You lie! [_All turn, astounded. HELEN runs toward ERNEST with a cry of
+joy. JOHN starts to block her. To JOHN._] Stop! You're not fit to touch
+her. No man is.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with a sarcastic laugh_]
+
+Humph! I suppose that's why you ran away.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Yes. To protect her from myself.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Then why come back?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+To protect her from you! You cowards, you hypocrites! [_He rushes down
+to HELEN, puts his strong arm about shoulder and whispers rapidly._]
+Just as I started, something stopped me. In a flash I saw ... all this.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_clasping his arm with both hands_]
+
+I made you come! I made you see!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_advances menacingly_]
+
+By what right are you here in my home? By what right do you take my
+sister in your arms?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+By a right more ancient than man-made law! I have come to the cry of my
+mate. I'm here to fight for the woman I love! [_Arm about HELEN, defies
+the world. To all._] My trip to Paris is postponed. One week from to-day
+gather all your family here, and in your home we'll make our declaration
+to the world.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+In my home! Ha! Not if I know it.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_restraining JOHN_]
+
+Play for time, John--he'll bring her around.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_to ERNEST_]
+
+Do you mean to marry her or not? Speak my language!
+
+    [_ERNEST releases HELEN and steps across to JOHN._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+_She_ decides that--not you.
+
+    [_All turn to HELEN._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Never!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_shaking off JUDGE. To HELEN._]
+
+You'll go with this damned fanatic only over my dead body.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_high_]
+
+And that will only cry aloud the thing you wish to hide from the world
+you fear.
+
+    [_Just now JEAN is seen slowly returning from the garden without
+    REX. Her pretty head is bent and, busy with her own sad thoughts,
+    she is startled by the following:_
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+There are laws to prevent marriage in some cases but none to enforce
+marriage on women--unless they will it.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_beside himself with rage_]
+
+Enforce! Do you think I'll ever _allow_ a sister of mine to marry a
+libertine?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_thinks they are discussing her, and is outraged_]
+
+But I'm not going to marry him! My engagement is broken.
+
+    [_General consternation. Sobbing, JEAN runs into house._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+My God, what next? Lucy, don't let Rex get away! You know what he'll
+do--and when he sobers up, it may be too late. [_To ERNEST._] As for
+you, you snake, you get right out of here.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_in the sudden silence_]
+
+Now you've done it, John.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Oh, very well, this is your property.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But _I_ am not! I go, too!
+
+    [_She runs to ERNEST._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Don't commit this sin!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Let her go! She's no sister of mine.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_the only calm one_]
+
+If she leaves this house now, it's all up.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+A woman who will give herself to a man without marriage is no sister of
+mine.
+
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_about to go, turns, leaning on ERNEST. To all_]
+
+Give!... But if I _sold_ myself, as you are forcing poor little Jean to
+do, to a libertine she does not love, who does not love her--that is not
+sin! That is respectability! To urge and aid her to entrap a man into
+marriage by playing the shameless tricks of the only trade men want
+women to learn--that is holy matrimony. But to give yourself of your own
+free will to the man you love and trust and can help, the man who loves
+and needs and has won the right to have you--oh, if this is sin, then
+let me live and die a sinner!
+
+    [_She turns to ERNEST, gives him a look of complete love and
+    trust, then bursts into tears upon his shoulder, his arms
+    enfolding her protectingly._
+
+
+
+
+ACT III
+
+
+    _It is well along in the afternoon of the same busy day of rest.
+    Most unaccountably--until the JUDGE accounts for it later--the
+    terrace has been decked out with festoons and flowers since the
+    excitement of the morning. Japanese lanterns have been hung,
+    though it is not yet time to light them and though it is Sunday
+    in a pious household._
+
+    _Most incongruously and lugubriously, LUCY is pacing to and fro in
+    silent concern._
+
+    _THEODORE now comes out of the house, also looking harassed. Lucy
+    turns to him inquiringly. He shakes his head sadly._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+No word from Uncle Everett?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+No word. He must have reached town long ago, unless he had tire
+trouble.... It's a bad sign, Lucy, a bad sign. He would surely telephone
+us.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Oh, if he _only_ hadn't missed their train!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_hopelessly_]
+
+Uncle Everett is the only one who could have brought them to their
+senses.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+It may not be too late. He took our fastest car, our best chauffeur.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Detectives are to watch all the steamers to-morrow. John telephoned at
+once.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But to-morrow will be too late! And, oh! when it all comes out in the
+newspapers! The ghastly head-lines--"well-known scientist, beautiful
+daughter of a prominent family!" Oh! What will people say?
+
+    [_JOHN, hurried and worried, rushes out shouting for LUCY._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Any news? Any news? [_THEODORE and LUCY give him gestures of despair._]
+Then it's too late. [_He, too, paces to and fro in fury. Then bracing
+up._] Well, I found Rex, over at the Golf Club. Terribly cut up. But
+listen; not a drink, not one!... Where's Jean? Got to see her at once.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Locked herself up in her room, John, crying her little heart out!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Rex is a changed man, I tell you. We've got to patch it up, and we've
+got to do it _quick_!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But, John! When the Bakers hear about Helen ... Rex marry into our
+family? Never! We're disgraced, John, disgraced!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_impatiently_]
+
+But they're not _going_ to hear about Helen. No one knows, and no one
+_will_. Helen has simply returned to Paris to complete her scientific
+research. My press-agent--he's attending to all that.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But questions, gossip, rumor--it's bound to come out in time!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+In time; but meanwhile, if Jean marries Rex, the Bakers will _have_ to
+stand for it. What's more, they'll make _other_ people stand for it.
+Backed by the Bakers, no one will _dare_ turn us down.... Our position
+in the world, my business relations with the old man--_everything hangs
+on little Jean_ now. Tell her I've simply got to see her. [_LUCY
+hesitates._] Hurry! Rex is coming over later. [_He catches sight of the
+table, festoons, etc._] Heavens! What's all this tomfoolery?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_going_]
+
+Uncle Everett's orders--he wouldn't stop to explain. He left word to
+summon the whole family for dinner.
+
+    [_LUCY goes._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_shrilly_]
+
+The whole family!... To-day of all days!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+John! You must not, shall not, force Jean to marry this man.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_unappreciated_]
+
+Haven't I done everything for my sisters? Can't they even _marry_ for
+_me_?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+The man she loves or none at all.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+That cub at the law school? No money to keep a wife, no prospects of
+any. His father's a college professor.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_shaking head sadly_]
+
+"No love without marriage, no marriage without--money!" Ernest
+Hamilton's words this morning, when we walked to church.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_watching house expectantly_]
+
+Survival of the fittest, Theodore, survival of the fittest.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+The fittest for what?--for making money! the only kind of fitness
+encouraged to survive, to reproduce its species.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+If the ability to make money is not the test of fitness, what is?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Then you are more fit than a hundred Hamiltons, are you? And Rex? How
+fit is he? Rex never made a cent in his life.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+He's got it, all the same.... See here! Haven't I enough to worry me
+without your butting in? Jean's got to marry _some_body, _some_time,
+hasn't she?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But not Rex, not if I can prevent it.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But you can't--you have nothing to do with it ... except to perform the
+ceremony and get a big, fat fee for it.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+I--marry Jean and Rex? Never!
+
+    [_JEAN comes out. She is frightened and turns timidly to THEODORE
+    for protection._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Jean, don't detain Theodore. He has an important business letter to
+write. [_THEODORE turns to JOHN indignantly._] Your wife's sanatorium
+bills--better settle up before they dun you again.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+With your money?
+
+    [_Takes JOHN'S check out of pocket, about to tear it._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_catching THEODORE'S hand_]
+
+For Mary's sake, for the children's--don't give way to selfish pride....
+Want to kill your wife? Then take her out of the sanatorium. Want to
+ruin your children? Then take them out of school!... Cash your check, I
+tell you, and pay your debts!
+
+    [_THEODORE glances at JEAN, at check. A struggle. At bay, he
+    finally pockets check and dejectedly goes into the house._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_with a wet handkerchief in hand_]
+
+Well? If I refuse to marry Rex?... Cut off my allowance or merely bully
+me to death?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_kindly_]
+
+Oh, come! You've filled your romantic little head full of novels. I
+never force _any_body to do _any_thing. [_Suddenly breaks out._] My
+heavens! what's the matter with all of you? I only want to give you and
+Lucy and Helen and Theodore and the whole family the best of everything
+in life! And what do I get for it? I'm a brutal husband, a bullying
+brother, and a malefactor of wealth. Lord! I guess I have some rights,
+even if I have got money!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Rex has money, too. Should that give him the right to women? I, too,
+have some rights--even though I _am_ a woman.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Any woman who can't care enough for a Baker to marry him--Rex is the
+sort who would do everything in the world for the woman he loves,
+everything. All the Bakers are like that.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+But what would he do for the woman he no longer loves?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+He wasn't fool enough to tell you about that?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+About what?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_halting_]
+
+Nothing--I thought--I tell you, Rex has reformed.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+You thought I meant his "past." I meant his future ... and my own.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Well, if you expect to find a saint, you'll never get married at all.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+And if I never married at all?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+_Then_ what will you do?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_with a wail of despair_]
+
+That's it--then what _should_ I do--what _could_ I do? Oh, it's so
+unfair, so unfair to train girls only for this! What chance, what choice
+have I? To live on the bounty of a disapproving brother or a man I do
+not love! Oh, how I envy Helen! If I only had a chance, a decent chance!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Any sensible girl would envy your chance. You'll never have another like
+it. You'll never have another at all! Grab it, I tell you, grab it.
+[_REX comes quietly, a determined look on his face, JOHN sees him._]
+Now, think, before too late, think hard. Think what it means to be an
+old maid.
+
+    [_And leaves them abruptly._
+
+
+    [_JEAN stands alone, looking very pretty in girlish distress. REX
+    gazes at her a moment and then with sudden passion he silently
+    rushes over, seizes her in his arms, kisses her furiously._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_indignant, struggles, frees herself, and rubs her cheek_]
+
+Ugh! How could you!
+
+
+REX
+
+Because I love you!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Love! It isn't even respect now.
+
+
+REX
+
+Has that fellow ever kissed you?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I have begged you never to refer to him again.
+
+
+REX
+
+He has! He has held you in his arms. He has kissed your lips, your
+cheeks, your eyes!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+How many women have you held in your arms? Have I ever tried to find
+out?
+
+
+REX
+
+Ah! You don't deny it, you can't.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I can! _He_ respects me. I don't deserve it, but he does.
+
+
+REX
+
+Thank heavens! Oh, you don't know how this has tormented me, little
+Jean. The thought of any other man's coming near you--why, I couldn't
+have felt the same toward you again, I just couldn't.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_bites her lips--then deliberately_]
+
+Well, then ... other men have come near me ... other men have kissed me,
+Rex.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_getting wild again_]
+
+What! When? Where?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_laughing cynically_]
+
+Oh, in conservatories in town, John's camp in the North Woods, motor
+rides in the country--once or twice out here on this very terrace, when
+I've felt sentimental in the moonlight.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_recoiling_]
+
+Oh! Jean! I never supposed _you_ were that sort!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_with distaste_]
+
+Oh, I don't make a habit of it! I'm not _that_ sort. But ... well, this
+isn't all I could tell you about myself, Rex.
+
+
+REX
+
+Don't!... Oh, what do you mean--quick.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Oh, I've merely been handled, not hurt. Slightly shop-worn but as good
+as new.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_after a pause, quietly_]
+
+Jean, what makes you say such horribly honest things to me?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Yesterday I did you a great unkindness, Rex. I deserve to suffer for
+it.... You don't suppose I enjoy talking this way about myself?
+
+
+REX
+
+I never heard a girl--a nice girl--talk like this before.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Naturally not. Usually "nice" girls hide it. It's an instinct in
+women--to keep up their value.... Often I've had thoughts and feelings
+which "nice" girls of your artificial ideal are supposed never to have
+at all. Perfectly natural, too, especially girls of my sort. We have so
+little to occupy our minds, except men! To have a useful, absorbing
+occupation--it rubs off the bloom, lowers our price in the market, you
+see.
+
+
+REX
+
+Oh, stop!... If you're not going to marry me, say so, but----
+
+
+JEAN
+
+But I am!... I am not going to be a dependent old maid. [_REX,
+bewildered, only gazes at her._] But, first, I want you to know exactly
+what you're getting for your money. That seems only businesslike.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_recoils_]
+
+Would you only marry me for that?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+I told you I loved another man. Do you want me?
+
+
+REX
+
+[_with jealousy returning_]
+
+Do I want you! He shan't have you.
+
+    [_He comes close._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Then take me.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_seizes her passionately_]
+
+I'll make you love _me_! [_Kisses her triumphantly._] I'll bring a
+different light into those cold eyes of yours. Wait until you're
+married! Wait until you're awakened. I'll make you forget that man, all
+other men. You are to be mine--all mine, all mine! [_During this embrace
+JEAN is quite passive, holds up her cheek to be kissed, and when he
+seeks her lips she shuts her eyes and gives him her lips. He suddenly
+stops, chilled; holding her at arms length._] But I don't care to marry
+an iceberg. Can't you love me a little? Haven't you any sentiment in
+your cynical little soul ... you irresistible darling!
+
+
+JEAN
+
+In my soul? Yes! It's only my body I'm selling, you know.
+
+    [_Then deliberately--clearly without passion--throws her arms
+    about his neck, clinging close and kissing him repeatedly until
+    REX responds._
+
+
+REX
+
+Look out, here comes the parson.
+
+    [_THEODORE comes out of the house._
+
+
+JEAN
+
+Oh, Theodore! Rex and I have come to an understanding.... Will you
+solemnize our blessed union?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Not unless you truly love each other. Marriage is sacred.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_rapidly_]
+
+A large church wedding--that will make it sacred. A full choral
+service--many expensive flowers--all the smartest people invited--that
+always makes the union of two souls sacred.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Those who truly love--their friends should witness the solemn rite,
+but----
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_interrupts. To REX_]
+
+And my wedding gown will be white satin with a point-lace veil caught up
+with orange-blossoms and a diamond tiara--"the gift of the groom"--that
+ought to make it solemn.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+The white veil is the symbol of purity, Jean.
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_rattling on wildly_]
+
+Of purity, Rex, do you hear? Whenever you see a bride in the white
+symbol of purity she is pure--that proves it. That makes it all so
+beautiful! so sacred! so holy! holy! holy!
+
+    [_Hysterically turns and runs into the house as JOHN comes out._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_following_]
+
+Jean, you must not, you shall not--[_JOHN blocks THEODORE. REX runs in
+after JEAN. To JOHN._] John, I warn you! I'll prevent this marriage.
+I'll tell every clergyman in the diocese. I'll inform the bishop
+himself. This marriage would be a sacrilege.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+You dare threaten me--after all I've done for you!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Your five thousand was a loan--not a bribe--every cent of it will be
+returned.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+You can't return it. I wouldn't let you if you could. Come, it's all in
+the family. [_THEODORE shakes his head._] You know that beautiful Gothic
+chapel old man Baker is building on his estate? He likes you. I'll tell
+him you're just the man he's looking for--safe and sane--no socialistic
+tendencies.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Don't trouble yourself--he offered me the place this morning.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+You didn't refuse it!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+I did--this morning. But since my last talk with you I've reconsidered,
+I've telephoned my acceptance.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_genuinely glad_]
+
+Bully! Great! Why, now you're fixed for life. "Only one kind of fitness
+encouraged," eh?... Right always triumphs in the end. Never lose your
+faith again, Theodore.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Right? That whited sepulchre! his mill hands dying like flies, his
+private life a public scandal!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with a cynical grin_]
+
+Then why accept his tainted money?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_from his soul_]
+
+To keep my wife alive. To keep my children out of the streets. To keep
+myself out of deeper debt to you. That's why I accept it--that's why
+many a man sells his soul to the devil.... If I had only myself to
+consider--why, to me a little thing like death would be a blessed
+luxury. But I, why, John, I cannot afford--even to die. I must
+compromise and live--live for those dependent on me.... Your five
+thousand will be returned with interest, but your little sister will
+not be married to a man she does not want.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But Rex wants _her_ and money talks in this world, louder than the
+Church. Refuse to marry Baker's son and how long will you keep Baker's
+chapel?... Think it over, Theodore, think it over.
+
+    [_Suddenly the JUDGE in motor garments covered with dust comes out
+    panting, followed by LUCY calling._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Uncle Everett! Uncle Everett!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+John! Oh, John!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Where is she!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+You were too late!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Wait! Give me time to get my breath.
+
+    [_Fans himself with his cap and mops brow._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+My detective--didn't he meet their train?
+
+    [_JUDGE nods yes._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+But they saw him first?
+
+    [_JUDGE shakes head no._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Didn't he follow them?
+
+    [_JUDGE nods yes._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Where'd they go? Where are they? Speak, man, speak!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_raises cap and handkerchief_]
+
+Now, just give me a chance and I'll tell the whole story.... The
+detective was waiting at the station. He saw them step out of the
+train. He followed them to the cab-stand. He watched them get into a
+taxi--jumped into another himself--and away they went, pursued by the
+detective and blissfully ignorant of his existence.... Even now they
+don't know they were being watched--or else ... well, they might have
+taken another course.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Quick! Tell us the worst.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_hesitates_]
+
+Well ... they drove straight to Helen's apartment.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+And you were too late. I thought so.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But my detective?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+He followed and reported to me when I reached town.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Reported what? Tell us all.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+First he saw Ernest help Helen out of the taxi--very tenderly, like
+this. Little they realized then how every detail was to be reported to
+you now!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Go on! Go on!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Then the detective saw Ernest deliberately----
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Yes, go on.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Deliberately lift his hat like this, say "good afternoon" just like
+that, and drive on to his own apartment a mile away.
+
+    [_There is a sudden silence; the others waiting the JUDGE now sits
+    down._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Oh, is that all?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Why, it's exactly as if they were engaged!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+No, Theodore, not _exactly_ as if engaged.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+You're keeping something back from us! Speak!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_gets up from chair_]
+
+Must I tell you? It's rather delicate.... Well, he didn't even step into
+the vestibule to kiss her good-by.
+
+    [_All look at each other._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+But where are they now? Quick!
+
+
+LUCY
+
+They met later! I knew it.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Yes, it's true. They are alone together at this very moment.
+
+
+ALL
+
+Where! Where?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_pointing to house_]
+
+There.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+What! What are they doing here?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_resumes fanning_]
+
+Discussing the marriage problem. [_General rejoicing and relief._] Sssh!
+Not so loud, you might interrupt them.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_nodding knowingly_]
+
+Cold feet! Knew he'd lose his job.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+The disgrace. She couldn't face it.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+No, conscience. A deep religious nature.
+
+    [_They all think it over a moment, each sure of his own diagnosis._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_turning to JUDGE with amusement_]
+
+So! Decided the soul-mate theory wouldn't work in practice, eh?
+
+
+THEODORE _and_ LUCY
+
+And they agree to marry?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_stops fanning_]
+
+Marry? My, no! Nothing like that. They think less of marriage than ever
+now! Helen is using woman's sweet indirect influence on Ernest in there
+at this moment!
+
+    [_All start toward the house impulsively, but on second thoughts
+    they all stop._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Then how on earth did you get them back!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_lighting cigar_]
+
+Oh, perfectly simple, I promised Helen you'd apologize to Ernest;
+promised Ernest you'd apologize to Helen. [_To LUCY._] Promised both
+you'd arrange a nice little family party for 'em. They bear no grudge.
+They're too happy.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_horrified. Indicates table_]
+
+The family party--for _them_? Horrors!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_tossing away match_]
+
+Yes, here in your happy home. [_The others turn on the JUDGE
+indignantly._] Well, don't jump on _me_. I tell you they positively
+decline to elope until after they tell the whole damn family.
+Considerate of them, I say. You don't deserve it, if you ask me.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_incredulous_]
+
+Tell the whole ... see here, are they crazy? Are _you_ crazy? Do you
+think _I'm_ crazy?
+
+    [_Impetuously turns toward the house, a man of action._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_stopping JOHN_]
+
+Wait!... You've already done your best to destroy your sister--but
+you've utterly failed. They have done nothing wrong--_as yet_. Why, they
+are the finest, truest, noblest pair of lovers I ever met! Now, aren't
+they, Theodore?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+I can't say that I call Helen's ideas of marriage "noble," exactly!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_grandiloquent_]
+
+She is willing to sacrifice even marriage for his career. Isn't that
+noble? And he! willing to sacrifice even his career for marriage. Both
+noble, if you ask me.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_loud_]
+
+Noble tommy-rot!--a pair of pig-headed, highbrow fools! They don't have
+to sacrifice anything for anybody. Can't they work together just as well
+married as unmarried?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_slyly_]
+
+That's what I said to her, but you had already convinced her that it was
+impractical. Work and marriage--"combine the two, and you'll fail at
+both"--your own warning, John.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_angry_]
+
+B'r'r--you think you're very funny, don't you! But that's my sister in
+there, planning to be that fellow's mistress--right here in my own
+house! Anything funny about that!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_stepping aside_]
+
+All right, go put a stop to it then! [_JOHN starts toward house._] It's
+your own house--turn her out again. [_JOHN stops short._] What are you
+going to do about it, John? [_JOHN has no answer._] Drive little Jean
+into marriage with a man she does not love--she is an old-fashioned
+girl. But your other sister--you can't make her marry even the man she
+does love, unless she sees fit. She is the New Woman! Society can no
+longer force females into wedlock--so it is forcing them out ... by the
+thousands! Approve of it? Of course not. But what good will our
+disapproval do? They will only laugh at you. The strike is on. Few of
+the strikers will let you see it. Few of the strikers have Helen's
+courage. But, believe it or not, the strike will spread. It cannot be
+crushed by law or force. Unless society wakes up and reforms its rules
+and regulations of marriage, marriage is doomed.... What are you going
+to do about it? [_Silence._] I thought so--nothing. Call them bad women
+and let it go at that. Blame it all on human nature, made by God, and
+leave untouched our human institutions, made by man. You poor little
+pessimists! human nature to-day is better than it ever was, but our most
+important institution is worse--the most sacred relationship in life has
+become a jest in the market-place.... You funny little cowards, you're
+afraid of life, afraid of love, afraid of truth. You worship lies, and
+call it God!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_interrupts_]
+
+All right, all right--but we can't change marriage overnight just to
+suit Helen. What are _you_ going to do about it?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+There's just one thing to do. Will you back me up in everything I say?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_acknowledging his own defeat_]
+
+Anything--everything.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Then tell Helen she doesn't have to marry, that, with the best
+intentions, the Church has made a muddle of monogamy.
+
+
+  [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._
+
+    JUDGE: You poor little pessimists! Human nature to-day is better
+    than it ever was, but our most important institution is worse--the
+    most sacred relationship in life has become a jest in the
+    market-place.]
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Uncle Everett, I protest.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+That we all admire their consecrated courage and advise their trying
+this conscientious experiment.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Not if I have anything to say about it!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+But you haven't. Do please get that through your head.... Theodore,
+they've talked enough, ask them to step out here and receive John's
+blessing. [_Impatiently._] Go on--I'll fix John. [_THEODORE goes._] [_To
+JOHN, who is about to burst forth._] Oh, see here, did you ever pull a
+dog into the house against his will?... Let him alone and he'll follow
+you in, wag his tail, and lick your hand.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+You mean, they'll come in, be respectable?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Admit that marriage has numerous drawbacks--and they'll see its
+advantages. Deny it--and they'll see nothing but each other. Marriage
+_is_ in a bad way, but it's the less of two evils. Marriage _must_
+adjust itself to the New Woman--_but_ the New Woman must meanwhile
+adjust herself to marriage. [_Briskly to LUCY._] Now, then, did you send
+out that hurry call for the family this evening?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Yes, they're on their way here now, but Uncle Everett, Doctor Hamilton
+said, next week.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Yes, I know--it'll be a little surprise party for Helen.... Did you
+order some music?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Yes, the musicians are to be stationed in the library.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Excellent, excellent. [_Indicates tables and festoons._] All that junk
+will help, too. A good Sunday supper this evening, Lucy; your best
+champagne, John--gay spirits, family affection, warm approval, toasts to
+the future. Why, all we'll have to do is--[_Breaks off._] Here they
+come. Now follow my lead. They've done a lot of thinking since you saw
+them last, but--make one misstep and it's all off.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Be nice to her, John. It was just a girlish impulse.
+
+    [_JOHN opens arms to receive HELEN._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+My sister! All is forgiven.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_stops short, her lip curls_]
+
+_You_ forgive _me_?
+
+    [_Before JOHN can reply, THEODORE and ERNEST follow, talking._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+But I tell you he had a perfect right to put me off his property. The
+thing I can't overlook--[_Sees JOHN and LUCY. Points finger at them
+accusingly._] Theodore has told me what you thought.... Please don't
+judge us by yourselves again--you licentious-minded married people!
+
+    [_He shrugs his shoulders with fastidious disgust and turns his
+    back upon them._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_gasping_]
+
+Well, I'll be damned.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_whispers_]
+
+Stand for it--he's right.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But Ernest ... I'm bound to say when two people run away together----
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Ah, Theodore! you, too? Are all married people alike? Did we want to
+"run away" as you call it? Did we not ask for a week to think it over?
+Did we not stipulate that in any case we must frankly face the family
+first? But this person--what did he do? he ordered us off his property,
+like trespassers! What could we do? Sit down in the road and wait a
+week? Bah! we went home--you suspicious married people, you
+hypocritical, unspeakable married people! [_JUDGE has difficulty in
+restraining JOHN._] Why, I believe our good friend the Judge here is the
+only decent-minded, properly married person on your property.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_bursting out_]
+
+Decent-minded--why, he's div----
+
+    [_LUCY stops him._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_steps in_]
+
+Dev-oted to his wife. Lucy is jealous of what I'm doing for my wife.
+[_Controls laughter._] Now come, we must all just let bygones be
+bygones. We know your intentions are honorable, your courage admirable;
+and for whatever was amiss in word, deed, or thought, we all humbly
+apologize--don't we, John? [_JOHN bows uncomfortably._] Lucy? Theodore?
+And now I want you all to tell Ernest and Helen what you told me--that
+their arguments against marriage are unanswerable, their logic
+unimpeachable, and we no longer have the slightest intention or desire
+to get them divorced by matrimony. [_JOHN, THEODORE, and LUCY look
+dubious. JUDGE crosses over and pinches them. HELEN and ERNEST are
+utterly bewildered._] Why, we wouldn't let a little thing like marriage
+come between them for the world, would we, John? would we, Lucy? would
+we, Theodore?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with an effort_]
+
+I agree with Uncle Everett entirely.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+And you, Theodore?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_in a low voice_]
+
+Perfectly.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+And you, Lucy?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_with a nervous glance at JOHN_]
+
+Absolutely.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_to the lovers_]
+
+There. You see?
+
+    [_ERNEST looks from one to the other in amazement._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_laughing_]
+
+I don't believe a word of it!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Why not? why not?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Very well, then invite the whole family here next Sunday!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+They'll be here in an hour.
+
+    [_Points to tables._
+
+
+HELEN _and_ ERNEST
+
+[_recoiling_]
+
+In an hour!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Yes, you are to begin your new life together this evening! Isn't it
+lovely?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_gasping_]
+
+But that's so sudden. Why, we--we aren't ready.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Just as ready as you'll ever be.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Ernest's vacation begins to-morrow--your honeymoon.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But, don't you see----
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Those new Paris clothes John gave you--your trousseau.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Well, but----
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+And this family gathering this evening, your--in a manner of
+speaking--wedding party. [_Waving aside all the lovers' objections._]
+Now, it's all fixed, let's go and dress for the--as it were--ceremony.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_blocks the way. Serious_]
+
+Wait! Did I ever say I would not marry this woman?
+
+    [_All stop, turn, exchange glances._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_apart_]
+
+Ah! a broad-minded chap.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_with a wink at JUDGE_]
+
+Ah! so you think you'd like to marry my sister after all?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Oh, you're an ass! What have I been doing for the past twenty-four
+hours? Begging her to marry me. What have you been doing? Preventing it.
+Why did I postpone sailing for a week? Why did I insist upon the family
+party? [_Comes nearer to JOHN._] You're an idiot.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_pinching JOHN_]
+
+Stand for it, John. You've got to stand for it. Tell him you love him
+like a brother ... in-law.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_controls himself_]
+
+Well, I ... I--you have my consent, Doctor Hamilton, I'm sure.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+_Your_ consent! What's that got to do with it? [_They all turn toward
+HELEN. ERNEST steps between them._] Now wait!... This morning you tried
+bullying. Did it work? This afternoon bluffing. Think _that_ will work?
+[_Hand on HELEN'S shoulder._] You can't frighten her into marriage. I've
+tried that myself. We've got to appeal to some higher motive than
+self-interest or superstition with _this_ woman, racial motives,
+unselfish motives. [_With force._] But don't talk to me about her being
+"immoral." I won't stand for it. If you want her to marry, prove the
+morality of marriage.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+The "morality of marriage"! What next?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_to THEODORE_]
+
+That's what I said--the morality of _marriage_! This woman is not on
+trial before you. Marriage is on trial before her, and thus far I'm
+bound to say you've not made out a good case for it. But simply
+_justify_ her marrying me, and--I give you my word--you can perform the
+ceremony this very evening. No license is required in this State, you
+know.
+
+    [_This creates a sensation._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Now, what could be fairer than that! [_To HELEN._] Do you agree to this?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_she nods_]
+
+We agree in everything.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+_Both_ broad-minded!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_quietly_]
+
+I never said I did not believe in a legal wedding--[_others surprised_]
+for those who can afford the luxury of children.... But for those who
+have to take it out in working for other people's children all their
+lives--a ceremony seems like a subterfuge. Without children I don't see
+how any marriage is ever consummated--socially.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Ah, but this relationship--it's a sacred thing in itself.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_sincerely_]
+
+I know it. I want to do right, Theodore, please believe that I do! But
+the kind of marriage preached by the Church and practised by the
+world--does that cherish the real sacredness of this relationship? Of
+course, I can only judge from appearances, but so often marriage seems
+to destroy the sacredness--yes, and also the usefulness--of this
+relationship!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+But, my dear girl----
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_smiles_]
+
+He thinks so, too. Only he has a quaint, mannish notion that he must
+"protect me." [_To ERNEST, patting his arm._] Haven't you, dear!
+
+    [_Again she has raised the shield of flippancy._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+What did I tell you, Theodore? The old marriage doesn't fit the New
+Woman. A self-supporting girl like Helen objects to obeying a mere
+man--like Ernest.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_patting the JUDGE'S arm affectionately, too_]
+
+Uncle Everett, you know nothing about it! You think you understand the
+new generation. The only generation you understand is the one which
+clamored for "Woman's Rights." [_To ERNEST._] I obey you already--every
+day of my life, do I not, dear? [_Looking up into his face._] You're my
+"boss," aren't you, Ernest? [_To JUDGE._] But I do object to contracting
+by law for what is better done by love.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_laughs fondly_]
+
+But suppose the promise to obey were left out?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+But the contract to love--[_To THEODORE._] that's so much worse, it
+seems to me. Obedience is a mere matter of will, is it not? But when a
+man promises to love until death----
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Are you so cold, so scientific, so _unsexed_, that you cannot trust the
+man you love?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Why, Theodore, if I didn't trust him I'd _marry_ him! Contracts are not
+for those who trust--they're for those who don't.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_takes HELEN apart_]
+
+Now, I may be old-fashioned, Helen, but I'm a married woman, and I know
+men. You never can tell, my dear, you never can tell.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Do you think I'd live with a man who did not love me? Do you think I'd
+live _on_ a man I did not love? [_LUCY blinks._] Why, what kind of a
+woman should I be then! The name wife--would that change it? Calling it
+holy--would that hallow it?... Every woman, married or not, knows the
+truth about this! In her soul woman has always known. But until to-day
+has never dared to tell.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_approaching HELEN_]
+
+Oh, come now--those vows--they aren't intended in a literal sense. Ask
+Theodore. Why, no sane person means half of that gibberish. "With all my
+worldly goods I thee endow"--millions of men have said it--how many ever
+did it? How many clergymen ever expect them to!... It's all a polite
+fiction in beautiful, sonorous English.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+The most sacred relationship in life! Ernest, shall you and I enter it
+unadvisedly, lightly, and with LIES on our lips?... Simply because
+others do?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_a little impatient_]
+
+But the whole world stands for this. And the world won't stand for that.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Is that reverently, soberly, and in the fear of God? No, cynically,
+selfishly, and in the fear of man. I don't want to be obstinate, I don't
+like to set myself up as "holier than thou," but, Ernest, unless we
+begin honestly, we'll end dishonestly. Somehow marriage seems wicked to
+me.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_nudging THEODORE_]
+
+How do you like that?
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+John is right--they've gone mad.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+All the same, you've got to marry me--you've simply _got_ to.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+You are mistaken. I do _not_ have to marry _any one_. I can support
+myself.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Then I'm disappointed in you.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+And I in you.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I thought you were sensible.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I thought you were honest.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Honest! You accuse me of dishonesty?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+You don't believe in "half of that gibberish." Yet you are willing to
+work the Church for our own worldly advantage! You are willing to
+prostitute the most sacred thing in life!... If that is not dishonest,
+what is!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+And you are the woman I love and want to marry! In all my life I was
+never accused of dishonesty before.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+You never tried to marry before. No one is honest about marriage.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I never shall try again. I'm going to Paris to-morrow and I'm going
+alone.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Then do it. Don't threaten it so often--do it.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I shall. And I'll never come back.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Nobody asked you to.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Helen--for the last time--just for my sake--marry me.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+For the last time--no! no! NO!! I won't be a hypocrite even for your
+sake.
+
+    [_She turns away, he starts off, then stops, rushes over to her._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_holds out arms_]
+
+I can't. You know it. Without you I'm nothing.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_taking both his hands_]
+
+Without you.... Oh, my dear, my dear.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Forgive me, forgive me.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+It was all my fault.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+No, I was a brute. I'm not worthy of you.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_covering his lips with her hand_]
+
+Sssh--I can't stand it--I was perfectly horrid to you. And you were
+doing it all for my sake. [_Laughing and crying._] You dear old thing--I
+knew it all the time.
+
+    [_They seem about to embrace._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_shaking with laughter_]
+
+Was there ever in the world anything like it!... Well, children, see
+here. He's willing to lie for your sake. She's willing to die for your
+sake. Now, why not just split the difference and have a civil ceremony
+for _our_ sake.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+No, they will marry for a better reason. Think of the _sin_ of it! [_To
+HELEN._] Have you no sense of sin?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+If not, think of the humor of it! Have you no sense of humor?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_still drying eyes and smiling to JUDGE_]
+
+Not a scrap. Neither has Ernest. Have you, dear?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I _hope_ not--judging from those who always say they have.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_solemnly_]
+
+Helen, look at Ernest--Ernest look at Helen. [_The lovers do so._] Look
+into each other's very souls!... You know, you _must_ know, that in the
+eyes of God this thing would be a sin, a heinous sin.
+
+    [_The lovers gaze deep into each other's eyes in silence._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_tremulous from the emotion he has just been through_]
+
+The glory and the gladness I see in this woman's eyes a sin? Her trust
+in me, my worship of her, our new-found belief in a future life, our
+greater usefulness together in this--bah! don't talk to me about sin!
+Such women cannot sin--they love.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_tired out_]
+
+Oh, you can talk all night, but this is a practical world. How long
+could you keep your job in the institute? Then how'll you live! Private
+practice? No respectable home will let you inside the door.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+I've seen the inside of respectable homes. I want no more. [_Taking from
+his pocket a piece of paper._] This morning I came to ask for your
+sister's hand in marriage. Your manners did not please me. So I cabled
+over to Metchnikoff. [_Hands cablegram to JOHN._] His answer. Positions
+await us both at the Pasteur Institute in Paris. That luxurious suite on
+to-morrow's steamer still waits in my name.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+Ernest! Stop! Think! This woman's soul is in your hands.
+
+    [_ERNEST seems to hesitate. HELEN crosses to him. JUDGE seizes
+    JOHN, whispers, and shoves him across._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Doctor Hamilton! I apologize!... You're a man of the world. You know
+what this means--she doesn't. She is in your power--for God's sake go to
+Paris without her.
+
+    [_JOHN tries to lead HELEN away from ERNEST. She shudders at
+    JOHN'S masterful touch and clings to her lover._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+And leave her here in _your_ power? Never again! You've forced her out
+of her work--you'd force her into legalized prostitution, if you could,
+like her innocent little sister. [_Snatches HELEN away from JOHN._] No,
+married or not, she sails with me in the morning. That's final.
+
+    [_The lovers turn away together._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Where are you going?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+To ask Marie to pack my trunk.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+To telephone for a motor.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+But you won't start until after the family party?
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+Of course not.
+
+    [_In a sudden silence HELEN and ERNEST walk into the house,
+    leaving the family in despair._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_after a long sigh, to JOHN_]
+
+I knew you'd bungle it, I knew it--but there's still a chance, just one
+more card to play.
+
+    [_The BUTLER comes out._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Good heavens! Already?
+
+
+BUTLER
+
+Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby, Doctor and Mrs. Grey, and the Misses Grey.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_flurried_]
+
+And we're not even dressed!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+No matter. It's Sunday--many orthodox people ... why, Mr. Baker won't
+even dine out on Sunday.
+
+    [_Enter the persons announced. Greetings._ "How warm it is for
+    September." ... "And how's the baby, Margaret?" _etc._
+
+    _JOHN and JUDGE apart are planning excitedly. JEAN and REX come
+    out, and finally HELEN, followed by ERNEST._
+
+
+BUTLER
+
+Dinner is served, ma'am.
+
+    [_The SECOND MAN touches button. Japanese lanterns glow, silver
+    shines, and all move toward the tables, a happy, united family._
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_going-to-dinner manner as she leads the way_]
+
+We can hardly go out formally because we're already out, you know. Aunt
+Susan, will you sit over there on John's right? Doctor Hamilton by me?
+Rex on the other side?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Here, Helen. No, Jean, you are beside Rex, you know.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Until married, then you're separated.
+
+
+LUCY
+
+Cousin Charlie--that's it. [_All take their places._] Most extraordinary
+weather for September, isn't it?
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_he slaps his cheek_]
+
+Isn't it?
+
+
+LUCY
+
+[_shocked and hurt_]
+
+That's the first mosquito I have ever known on our place.
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_indignantly_]
+
+We never have mosquitoes here. You must have been mistaken.
+
+    [_The servants are passing in and out of house with courses. The
+    BUTLER now brings a telegram to JUDGE._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+From Julia! [_Tears it open eagerly, reads, and then shouts._] She's
+coming back to me, she's coming back! Look at that, look at that!
+
+    [_Jumps up and shows telegram to JOHN. Then taking it around to
+    LUCY he sings to tune of "Merrily we roll along"_:
+
+        Aunt Julia is coming back
+        Coming back--coming back
+        Aunt Julia is coming back
+        Coming back from Reno.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_laughing_]
+
+From Reno? That sounds like divorce, Uncle Everett.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+Like divorce? Does that sound like divorce? [_Takes telegram from LUCY
+and hands it to HELEN._] Read it aloud.
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_reading_]
+
+"Dear boy, I can't stand it, either. Come to me or I go to you."
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_sings during the reading_]
+
+Coming back from Reno. [_Breaks off--to HELEN._] So you thought we
+wanted a divorce, did you?
+
+
+  [Illustration: _From a photograph by White Studio._
+
+    JUDGE: We thought we believed in trial marriage. Nothing of the
+    sort--trial separation! What marriage put asunder divorce has
+    joined together.]
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I never dreamed of such a thing.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_looks at her a moment, then in a burst_]
+
+Well, _I_ did. The dream of my life--your Aunt Julia's, too. We thought
+we believed in trial marriage, but we don't--we believe in trial
+_separation_!
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_uncomfortably_]
+
+They thought they didn't love each other, but they do, you see.
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+We don't, we don't, but we can't get along without each other ... got
+the habit of having each other around and can't break it.... This
+morning I telegraphed: "Are you doing this just for my sake?" She
+replied, "Tutti-frutti." [_Sings._] Aunt Julia's coming back. Oh, I'm
+too happy to eat. [_Singing, while others eat and drink_:
+
+        Coming back, coming back,
+        Aunt Julia is coming back
+        Coming back from Reno.
+
+And I don't care who knows it. The more the better for marriage. The
+truth--give me more truth, give me more--champagne. [_BUTLER fills glass
+as JUDGE raises it._] Here's to your Aunt Julia, the best wife--I ever
+had. [_All rise, drink, laugh, and sit down._] And I'll never, never get
+another.... You know I thought maybe I might. Oh, Everett, Everett, you
+sly dog, you old idiot you!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_arises, clearing throat, tapping on glasses for silence_]
+
+And now, speaking of divorce, I have an engagement to announce. [_Some
+laughter but all quiet down. He smiles at JEAN._] Of course, you can't
+guess whose. Friends, it is my privilege to announce the engagement of
+my good friend Rex Baker to my dear sister Jean. [_Gentle applause and
+congratulations. Music begins._] And so I will now ask all to arise and
+drink to the health and prosperity of my little sister and my
+brother-in-law to be! And my best wish is that they will be as happy as
+my better half and me. [_All cheer and drink health standing._] Speech,
+Rex!
+
+    [_Some of them playfully try to put him on his feet._
+
+
+REX
+
+[_shaking his head and maintaining his seat_]
+
+I can't make a speech. I'm too happy for words--See-what-I-mean?
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_in a low, significant tone_]
+
+Jean, aren't you going to say something?
+
+
+JEAN
+
+[_arises, all silent, she looks at LUCY, REX, JOHN_]
+
+Words cannot describe my happiness, either.
+
+    [_She resumes her seat, and all gather round to congratulate JEAN
+    and REX._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_rapping for quiet_]
+
+One moment, one moment. Another toast, another toast! [_Others quiet
+down._] We have with us to-night one who, in honoring whom we honor
+ourselves, one who with capital back of him would soon become the
+greatest scientist in America! [_JUDGE leads applause_, "hear, hear!"
+_etc. JOHN raises glass._] To the distinguished guest whom I am proud
+to welcome to my humble board, to the noble humanitarian whom Mr. Baker
+delights to honor, to the good friend whom we all admire and trust,
+Doctor Ernest Hamilton!
+
+    [_All applaud and about to drink health, JUDGE jumps up._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+And to his fair collaborator! the brave woman who at this modern
+warrior's side daily risks her life for others, handling death and
+disease in those mighty but unsung battles for the common weal!
+[_Applause._] A New Woman? No, friends, look behind the stupid names the
+mob would cast, like stones to destroy, look and you will see your true
+conservative--willing to appear radical in order to conserve woman's
+work in the world! willing to appear ridiculous to right ancient wrongs!
+willing even to appear _wrong_--for those she loves! Ah, the same
+old-fashioned woman we all adore, in a form so new we blindly fail to
+understand her glorious advent before our very eyes! To Helen, the
+gracious embodiment of all that is sweetest, noblest, and best in
+womanhood--to Helen! Our lovely Helen!
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_up again at once_]
+
+Family approval, social esteem, and an honored career--all this is
+theirs for the asking! To-day to me they have confessed their
+love--to-night to you I now announce ... their engagement! Long life and
+happiness to Helen and Ernest!
+
+    [_Great enthusiasm--even pounding on the table. ERNEST arises,
+    looking surprised. JOHN signalling to rest of family to join in._
+
+
+THE FAMILY
+
+[_glasses raised, drowning out ERNEST_]
+
+Long life and happiness, long life and happiness!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_raises hand_]
+
+Wait! Before you drink this toast.... [_The glasses stop midway. Sudden
+silence._] Your congratulations we appreciate, your kind wishes we
+desire--but not on false pretences. We are not engaged to be married.
+
+    [_In the tense silence a shudder ripples the family joy._
+
+
+REX
+
+[_apart to JEAN_]
+
+Gee! They had a scrap, too?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_up, nervously. ERNEST still standing_]
+
+If I may interrupt.... He has financial reasons--I respect him for
+it. But this very day the Baker Institute in recognition of Doctor
+Hamilton's distinguished services to humanity has doubled his
+salary--doubled it! It's all right now--it's all right.
+
+
+REX
+
+[_apart to JEAN_]
+
+Four thousand, eh?... get a very decent touring car for that.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_to all_]
+
+That is very kind, but that is not the point. True, our mutual needs are
+such that we cannot live nor work apart, but our convictions are such
+that we cannot live and work _together_--in what you have the humor to
+call "holy wedlock." Now, Helen, the motor is waiting.
+
+    [_Sensation. Gasps of amazement and horror. Some jump up from
+    table. A chair is upset. ERNEST holds HELEN'S wrap. General
+    movement and murmurs._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_barring way_]
+
+You leave this house only over my dead body.
+
+    [_Others gather around lovers._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_to all_]
+
+Stand back!... Let him among you who has a purer ideal of love, a higher
+conception of duty cast the first stone.
+
+    [_All stop. Silenced._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+But this man and this woman would destroy marriage!
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_standing beside lovers_]
+
+No! Such as they will not destroy marriage--they will save it! They
+restore the vital substance while we preserve the empty shell.
+Everything they have said, everything they have done, proves it. The
+promise to love--they could not help it--they took it--I heard them. The
+instinct for secrecy--they felt it--we all do--but straightway they told
+the next of kin. [_Points to JOHN._] Even when insulted and driven forth
+from the tribe, they indignantly refused to be driven into each other's
+arms until you of the same blood could hear them plight their troth!
+Believe in marriage? Why, there never was, there never will be a more
+perfect tribute to true marriage than from this fearless pair you now
+accuse of seeking to destroy it! [_JOHN tries to interrupt, but the
+JUDGE waves him down._] They have been not only honorable but
+old-fashioned, save in the one orthodox detail of accepting the
+authority constituted by society for its protection and for _theirs_.
+[_To HELEN and ERNEST._] But now, I'm sure, before starting on their
+wedding journey--another old-fashioned convention they believe in--that,
+just to please us if not themselves, they will consent to be united in
+the bonds of holy wedlock by Cousin Theodore who stands ready and
+waiting with prayer-book in hand.
+
+    [_Family subsides. Everybody happy. THEODORE steps up, opens
+    prayer-book._
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God----"
+
+
+HELEN
+
+[_suddenly loud and clear_]
+
+Theodore! are you going to marry Rex and Jean?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_impatiently_]
+
+Of course, of course, Mr. Baker's chaplain.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_recoiling_]
+
+Theodore! You! Are you going to stand up and tell the world that God has
+joined those two together--GOD?
+
+    [_THEODORE looks at JOHN but does not deny it and says nothing._
+
+
+HELEN
+
+Then you will be blaspheming love--and God who made it. No, you shall
+not marry us.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_agreeing with HELEN_]
+
+Some things are too sacred to be profaned.
+
+
+THEODORE
+
+[_overwhelmed_]
+
+Profaned?... By the Church?
+
+
+JOHN
+
+Your love too sacred for the Church? The Church has a name for such
+love! The world a name for such women!
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_about to strike JOHN, then shrugs_]
+
+A rotten world! A kept Church! Come, let's get away from it all! Come!
+
+    [_HELEN offers her hand in farewell to LUCY, but JOHN shields
+    her from HELEN'S touch, then to JEAN. REX shields JEAN from
+    contamination, but JEAN weeps._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_barring the way. To ERNEST_]
+
+Stop! You cannot! The very tie that binds you to this woman binds you to
+us and to the whole world with hooks of steel! [_The lovers are still
+going, JUDGE ascends steps, facing them._] For the last time! before too
+late! ERNEST! You _know_ that in the eyes of God you _are_ taking this
+woman to be your wife.
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+In the eyes of _God_, I _do_ take Helen to be my wife--but----
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+You, Helen! Speak, woman, speak!
+
+
+HELEN
+
+I take Ernest to be my husband in the eyes of God, but----
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_raises his hand augustly and in a voice of authority_]
+
+Then, since you, Ernest, and you, Helen, have made this solemn
+declaration before God and in the presence of witnesses, I, by the
+authority vested in me by the laws of this State do now pronounce you
+man and wife!
+
+    [_MR. and MRS. HAMILTON look at each other bewildered. Meanwhile
+    the silence has been pierced, first by a little hysterical scream
+    from JEAN, then the others all wake up and crowd about the happy
+    pair, congratulating them. The women who had snubbed HELEN before
+    cover her with kisses, for now she is fit for their embraces._
+
+
+JOHN
+
+[_to THEODORE_]
+
+Saved! Saved! Respectable at last, thank God. [_Raising his glass and
+hammering for attention._] Here's to the bride and groom.
+
+    [_ALL cheer, raise glasses, and drink._
+
+
+ERNEST
+
+[_when the noise dies down. As the others kiss HELEN_]
+
+A moment ago you were a bad woman. Now [_to all_] behold! she is a good
+woman. Marriage is wonderful.
+
+    [_JOHN and LUCY run to JUDGE and shake hands._
+
+
+JUDGE
+
+[_to JOHN and LUCY, his wife_]
+
+Yes, Respectability has triumphed this time, but let Society take
+warning and beware! beware! beware!
+
+
+
+CURTAIN
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+BY JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS
+
+
+    PRINCETON STORIES (1895).
+
+    THE ADVENTURES OF A FRESHMAN (1899).
+
+    THE STOLEN STORY, AND OTHER NEWSPAPER STORIES (1899).
+
+    NEW YORK SKETCHES (1902).
+
+    THE DAY-DREAMER (1906). Being a novelization of the four-act
+    comedy, "The Stolen Story."
+
+    THE GIRL AND THE GAME, AND OTHER COLLEGE STORIES (1908).
+
+    THE MARRIED LIFE OF THE FREDERIC CARROLLS (1910).
+
+    REMATING TIME (1916).
+
+    WHY MARRY? (1918). New edition of "And So They Were Married."
+
+
+CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Why Marry?, by Jesse Lynch Williams
+
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