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diff --git a/354-h/354-h.htm b/354-h/354-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e1385f6 --- /dev/null +++ b/354-h/354-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,9552 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + The Story of a Pioneer, by Anna Howard Shaw + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Story of a Pioneer, by Anna Howard Shaw + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Story of a Pioneer + With The Collaboration Of Elizabeth Jordan + +Author: Anna Howard Shaw + +Release Date: July 11, 2008 [EBook #354] +Last Updated: February 6, 2013 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF A PIONEER *** + + + + +Produced by Mike Lough, and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + THE STORY OF A PIONEER + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Anna Howard Shaw, D.D., M.D. + </h2> + <h3> + With The Collaboration Of Elizabeth Jordan + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + TO THE WOMEN PIONEERS OF AMERICA + </h3> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + They cut a path through tangled underwood + Of old traditions, out to broader ways. + They lived to here their work called brave and good, + But oh! the thorns before the crown of bays. + The world gives lashes to its Pioneers + Until the goal is reached—then deafening cheers. + + Adapted by ANNA HOWARD SHAW. +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> <big><b>THE STORY OF A PIONEER</b></big> </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> I. FIRST MEMORIES </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> II. IN THE WILDERNESS </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> III. HIGH-SCHOOL AND COLLEGE DAYS </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> IV. THE WOLF AT THE DOOR </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> V. SHEPHERD OF A DIVIDED FLOCK </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VI. CAPE COD MEMORIES </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> VII. THE GREAT CAUSE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> VIII. DRAMA IN THE LECTURE-FIELD </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> IX. "AUNT SUSAN" </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> X. THE PASSING OF "AUNT SUSAN" </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> XI. THE WIDENING SUFFRAGE STREAM </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> XII. BUILDING A HOME </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0015"> XIII. PRESIDENT OF "THE NATIONAL" </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0016"> XIV. RECENT CAMPAIGNS </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0017"> XV. CONVENTION INCIDENTS </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0018"> XVI. COUNCIL EPISODES </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0019"> XVII. VALE! </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + THE STORY OF A PIONEER + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + I. FIRST MEMORIES + </h2> + <p> + My father's ancestors were the Shaws of Rothiemurchus, in Scotland, and + the ruins of their castle may still be seen on the island of + Loch-an-Eilan, in the northern Highlands. It was never the picturesque + castle of song and story, this home of the fighting Shaws, but an austere + fortress, probably built in Roman times; and even to-day the crumbling + walls which alone are left of it show traces of the relentless assaults + upon them. Of these the last and the most successful were made in the + seventeenth century by the Grants and Rob Roy; and it was into the hands + of the Grants that the Shaw fortress finally fell, about 1700, after + almost a hundred years of ceaseless warfare. + </p> + <p> + It gives me no pleasure to read the grisly details of their struggles, but + I confess to a certain satisfaction in the knowledge that my ancestors + made a good showing in the defense of what was theirs. Beyond doubt they + were brave fighters and strong men. There were other sides to their + natures, however, which the high lights of history throw up less + appealingly. As an instance, we have in the family chronicles the + blood-stained page of Allen Shaw, the oldest son of the last Lady Shaw who + lived in the fortress. It appears that when the father of this young man + died, about 1560, his mother married again, to the intense disapproval of + her son. For some time after the marriage he made no open revolt against + the new-comer in the domestic circle; but finally, on the pretext that his + dog had been attacked by his stepfather, he forced a quarrel with the + older man and the two fought a duel with swords, after which the + victorious Allen showed a sad lack of chivalry. He not only killed his + stepfather, but he cut off that gentleman's head and bore it to his mother + in her bedchamber—an action which was considered, even in that + tolerant age, to be carrying filial resentment too far. + </p> + <p> + Probably Allen regretted it. Certainly he paid a high penalty for it, and + his clan suffered with him. He was outlawed and fled, only to be hunted + down for months, and finally captured and executed by one of the Grants, + who, in further virtuous disapproval of Allen's act, seized and held the + Shaw stronghold. The other Shaws of the clan fought long and ably for its + recovery, but though they were helped by their kinsmen, the Mackintoshes, + and though good Scotch blood dyed the gray walls of the fortress for many + generations, the castle never again came into the hands of the Shaws. It + still entails certain obligations for the Grants, however, and one of + these is to give the King of England a snowball whenever he visits + Loch-an-Eilan! + </p> + <p> + As the years passed the Shaw clan scattered. Many Shaws are still to be + found in the Mackintosh country and throughout southern Scotland. Others + went to England, and it was from this latter branch that my father sprang. + His name was Thomas Shaw, and he was the younger son of a gentleman—a + word which in those days seemed to define a man who devoted his time + largely to gambling and horse-racing. My grandfather, like his father + before him, was true to the traditions of his time and class. Quite + naturally and simply he squandered all he had, and died abruptly, leaving + his wife and two sons penniless. They were not, however, a helpless band. + They, too, had their traditions, handed down by the fighting Shaws. Peter, + the older son, became a soldier, and died bravely in the Crimean War. My + father, through some outside influence, turned his attention to trade, + learning to stain and emboss wallpaper by hand, and developing this work + until he became the recognized expert in his field. Indeed, he progressed + until he himself checked his rise by inventing a machine that made his + handwork unnecessary. His employer at once claimed and utilized this + invention, to which, by the laws of those days, he was entitled, and thus + the cornerstone on which my father had expected to build a fortune proved + the rock on which his career was wrecked. But that was years later, in + America, and many other things had happened first. + </p> + <p> + For one, he had temporarily dropped his trade and gone into the + flour-and-grain business; and, for another, he had married my mother. She + was the daughter of a Scotch couple who had come to England and settled in + Alnwick, in Northumberland County. Her father, James Stott, was the driver + of the royal-mail stage between Alnwick and Newcastle, and his accidental + death while he was still a young man left my grandmother and her eight + children almost destitute. She was immediately given a position in the + castle of the Duke of Northumberland, and her sons were educated in the + duke's school, while her daughters were entered in the school of the + duchess. + </p> + <p> + My thoughts dwell lovingly on this grandmother, Nicolas Grant Stott, for + she was a remarkable woman, with a dauntless soul and progressive ideas + far in advance of her time. She was one of the first Unitarians in + England, and years before any thought of woman suffrage entered the minds + of her country-women she refused to pay tithes to the support of the + Church of England—an action which precipitated a long-drawn-out + conflict between her and the law. In those days it was customary to assess + tithes on every pane of glass in a window, and a portion of the money thus + collected went to the support of the Church. Year after year my intrepid + grandmother refused to pay these assessments, and year after year she sat + pensively upon her door-step, watching articles of her furniture being + sold for money to pay her tithes. It must have been an impressive picture, + and it was one with which the community became thoroughly familiar, as the + determined old lady never won her fight and never abandoned it. She had at + least the comfort of public sympathy, for she was by far the most popular + woman in the countryside. Her neighbors admired her courage; perhaps they + appreciated still more what she did for them, for she spent all her + leisure in the homes of the very poor, mending their clothing and teaching + them to sew. Also, she left behind her a path of cleanliness as definite + as the line of foam that follows a ship; for it soon became known among + her protegees that Nicolas Stott was as much opposed to dirt as she was to + the payment of tithes. + </p> + <p> + She kept her children in the schools of the duke and duchess until they + had completed the entire course open to them. A hundred times, and among + many new scenes and strange people, I have heard my mother describe her + own experiences as a pupil. All the children of the dependents of the + castle were expected to leave school at fourteen years of age. During + their course they were not allowed to study geography, because, in the + sage opinion of their elders, knowledge of foreign lands might make them + discontented and inclined to wander. Neither was composition encouraged—that + might lead to the writing of love-notes! But they were permitted to absorb + all the reading and arithmetic their little brains could hold, while the + art of sewing was not only encouraged, but proficiency in it was + stimulated by the award of prizes. My mother, being a rather precocious + young person, graduated at thirteen and carried off the first prize. The + garment she made was a linen chemise for the duchess, and the little + needlewoman had embroidered on it, with her own hair, the august lady's + coat of arms. The offering must have been appreciated, for my mother's + story always ended with the same words, uttered with the same air of + gentle pride, "And the duchess gave me with her own hands my Bible and my + mug of beer!" She never saw anything amusing in this association of gifts, + and I always stood behind her when she told the incident, that she might + not see the disrespectful mirth it aroused in me. + </p> + <p> + My father and mother met in Alnwick, and were married in February, 1835. + Ten years after his marriage father was forced into bankruptcy by the + passage of the corn law, and to meet the obligations attending his failure + he and my mother sold practically everything they possessed—their + home, even their furniture. Their little sons, who were away at school, + were brought home, and the family expenses were cut down to the barest + margin; but all these sacrifices paid only part of the debts. My mother, + finding that her early gift had a market value, took in sewing. Father + went to work on a small salary, and both my parents saved every penny they + could lay aside, with the desperate determination to pay their remaining + debts. It was a long struggle and a painful one, but they finally won it. + Before they had done so, however, and during their bleakest days, their + baby died, and my mother, like her mother before her, paid the penalty of + being outside the fold of the Church of England. She, too, was a + Unitarian, and her baby, therefore, could not be laid in any consecrated + burial-ground in her neighborhood. She had either to bury it in the + Potter's Field, with criminals, suicides, and paupers, or to take it by + stage-coach to Alnwick, twenty miles away, and leave it in the little + Unitarian churchyard where, after her strenuous life, Nicolas Stott now + lay in peace. She made the dreary journey alone, with the dear burden + across her lap. + </p> + <p> + In 1846, my parents went to London. There they did not linger long, for + the big, indifferent city had nothing to offer them. They moved to + Newcastle-on-Tyne, and here I was born, on the fourteenth day of February, + in 1847. Three boys and two girls had preceded me in the family circle, + and when I was two years old my younger sister came. We were little better + off in Newcastle than in London, and now my father began to dream the + great dream of those days. He would go to America. Surely, he felt, in + that land of infinite promise all would be well with him and his. He + waited for the final payment of his debts and for my younger sister's + birth. Then he bade us good-by and sailed away to make an American home + for us; and in the spring of 1851 my mother followed him with her six + children, starting from Liverpool in a sailing-vessel, the John Jacob + Westervelt. + </p> + <p> + I was then little more than four years old, and the first vivid memory I + have is that of being on shipboard and having a mighty wave roll over me. + I was lying on what seemed to be an enormous red box under a hatchway, and + the water poured from above, almost drowning me. This was the beginning of + a storm which raged for days, and I still have of it a confused memory, a + sort of nightmare, in which strange horrors figure, and which to this day + haunts me at intervals when I am on the sea. The thing that stands out + most strongly during that period is the white face of my mother, ill in + her berth. We were with five hundred emigrants on the lowest deck of the + ship but one, and as the storm grew wilder an unreasoning terror filled + our fellow-passengers. Too ill to protect her helpless brood, my mother + saw us carried away from her for hours at a time, on the crests of waves + of panic that sometimes approached her and sometimes receded, as they + swept through the black hole in which we found ourselves when the hatches + were nailed down. No madhouse, I am sure, could throw more hideous + pictures on the screen of life than those which met our childish eyes + during the appalling three days of the storm. Our one comfort was the + knowledge that our mother was not afraid. She was desperately ill, but + when we were able to reach her, to cling close to her for a blessed + interval, she was still the sure refuge she had always been. + </p> + <p> + On the second day the masts went down, and on the third day the disabled + ship, which now had sprung a leak and was rolling helplessly in the trough + of the sea, was rescued by another ship and towed back to Queenstown, the + nearest port. The passengers, relieved of their anxieties, went from their + extreme of fear to an equal extreme of drunken celebration. They laughed, + sang, and danced, but when we reached the shore many of them returned to + the homes they had left, declaring that they had had enough of the ocean. + We, however, remained on the ship until she was repaired, and then sailed + on her again. We were too poor to return home; indeed, we had no home to + which we could return. We were even too poor to live ashore. But we made + some penny excursions in the little boats that plied back and forth, and + to us children at least the weeks of waiting were not without interest. + Among other places we visited Spike Island, where the convicts were, and + for hours we watched the dreary shuttle of labor swing back and forth as + the convicts carried pails of water from one side of the island, only to + empty them into the sea at the other side. It was merely "busy work," to + keep them occupied at hard labor; but even then I must have felt some dim + sense of the irony of it, for I have remembered it vividly all these + years. + </p> + <p> + Our second voyage on the John Jacob Westervelt was a very different + experience from the first. By day a glorious sun shone overhead; by night + we had the moon and stars, as well as the racing waves we never wearied of + watching. For some reason, probably because of my intense admiration for + them, which I showed with unmaidenly frankness, I became the special pet + of the sailors. They taught me to sing their songs as they hauled on their + ropes, and I recall, as if I had learned it yesterday, one pleasing ditty: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Haul on the bow-line, + Kitty is my darling, + Haul on the bow-line, + The bow-line—HAUL! +</pre> + <p> + When I sang "haul" all the sailors pulled their hardest, and I had an + exhilarating sense of sharing in their labors. As a return for my service + of song the men kept my little apron full of ship sugar—very black + stuff and probably very bad for me; but I ate an astonishing amount of it + during that voyage, and, so far as I remember, felt no ill effects. + </p> + <p> + The next thing I recall is being seriously scalded. I was at the foot of a + ladder up which a sailor was carrying a great pot of hot coffee. He + slipped, and the boiling liquid poured down on me. I must have had some + bad days after that, for I was terribly burned, but they are mercifully + vague. My next vivid impression is of seeing land, which we sighted at + sunset, and I remember very distinctly just how it looked. It has never + looked the same since. The western sky was a mass of crimson and gold + clouds, which took on the shapes of strange and beautiful things. To me it + seemed that we were entering heaven. I remember also the doctors coming on + board to examine us, and I can still see a line of big Irishmen standing + very straight and holding out their tongues for inspection. To a little + girl only four years old their huge, open mouths looked appalling. + </p> + <p> + On landing a grievous disappointment awaited us; my father did not meet + us. He was in New Bedford, Massachusetts, nursing his grief and preparing + to return to England, for he had been told that the John Jacob Westervelt + had been lost at sea with every soul on board. One of the missionaries who + met the ship took us under his wing and conducted us to a little hotel, + where we remained until father had received his incredible news and rushed + to New York. He could hardly believe that we were really restored to him; + and even now, through the mists of more than half a century, I can still + see the expression in his wet eyes as he picked me up and tossed me into + the air. + </p> + <p> + I can see, too, the toys he brought me—a little saw and a hatchet, + which became the dearest treasures of my childish days. They were + fatidical gifts, that saw and hatchet; in the years ahead of me I was to + use tools as well as my brothers did, as I proved when I helped to build + our frontier home. + </p> + <p> + We went to New Bedford with father, who had found work there at his old + trade; and here I laid the foundations of my first childhood friendship, + not with another child, but with my next-door neighbor, a ship-builder. + Morning after morning this man swung me on his big shoulder and took me to + his shipyard, where my hatchet and saw had violent exercise as I imitated + the workers around me. Discovering that my tiny petticoats were in my way, + my new friend had a little boy's suit made for me; and thus emancipated, + at this tender age, I worked unwearyingly at his side all day long and day + after day. No doubt it was due to him that I did not casually saw off a + few of my toes and fingers. Certainly I smashed them often enough with + blows of my dull but active hatchet. I was very, very busy; and I have + always maintained that I began to earn my share of the family's living at + the age of five—for in return for the delights of my society, which + seemed never to pall upon him, my new friend allowed my brothers to carry + home from the shipyard all the wood my mother could use. + </p> + <p> + We remained in New Bedford less than a year, for in the spring of 1852 my + father made another change, taking his family to Lawrence, Massachusetts, + where we lived until 1859. The years in Lawrence were interesting and + formative ones. At the tender age of nine and ten I became interested in + the Abolition movement. We were Unitarians, and General Oliver and many of + the prominent citizens of Lawrence belonged to the Unitarian Church. We + knew Robert Shaw, who led the first negro regiment, and Judge Storrow, one + of the leading New England judges of his time, as well as the Cabots and + George A. Walton, who was the author of Walton's Arithmetic and head of + the Lawrence schools. Outbursts of war talk thrilled me, and occasionally + I had a little adventure of my own, as when one day, in visiting our + cellar, I heard a noise in the coal-bin. I investigated and discovered a + negro woman concealed there. I had been reading Uncle Tom's Cabin, as well + as listening to the conversation of my elders, so I was vastly stirred + over the negro question. I raced up-stairs in a condition of awe-struck + and quivering excitement, which my mother promptly suppressed by sending + me to bed. No doubt she questioned my youthful discretion, for she almost + convinced me that I had seen nothing at all—almost, but not quite; + and she wisely kept me close to her for several days, until the escaped + slave my father was hiding was safely out of the house and away. Discovery + of this serious offense might have borne grave results for him. + </p> + <p> + It was in Lawrence, too, that I received and spent my first twenty-five + cents. I used an entire day in doing this, and the occasion was one of the + most delightful and memorable of my life. It was the Fourth of July, and I + was dressed in white and rode in a procession. My sister Mary, who also + graced the procession, had also been given twenty-five cents; and during + the parade, when, for obvious reasons, we were unable to break ranks and + spend our wealth, the consciousness of it lay heavily upon us. When we + finally began our shopping the first place we visited was a candy store, + and I recall distinctly that we forced the weary proprietor to take down + and show us every jar in the place before we spent one penny. The first + banana I ever ate was purchased that day, and I hesitated over it a long + time. Its cost was five cents, and in view of that large expenditure, the + eating of the fruit, I was afraid, would be too brief a joy. I bought it, + however, and the experience developed into a tragedy, for, not knowing + enough to peel the banana, I bit through skin and pulp alike, as if I were + eating an apple, and then burst into ears of disappointment. The beautiful + conduct of my sister Mary shines down through the years. She, wise child, + had taken no chances with the unknown; but now, moved by my despair, she + bought half of my banana, and we divided the fruit, the loss, and the + lesson. Fate, moreover, had another turn of the screw for us, for, after + Mary had taken a bite of it, we gave what was left of the banana to a boy + who stood near us and who knew how to eat it; and not even the large + amount of candy in our sticky hands enabled us to regard with calmness the + subsequent happiness of that little boy. + </p> + <p> + Another experience with fruit in Lawrence illustrates the ideas of my + mother and the character of the training she gave her children. Our + neighbors, the Cabots, were one day giving a great garden party, and my + sister was helping to pick strawberries for the occasion. When I was going + home from school I passed the berry-patches and stopped to speak to my + sister, who at once presented me with two strawberries. She said Mrs. + Cabot had told her to eat all she wanted, but that she would eat two less + than she wanted and give those two to me. To my mind, the suggestion was + generous and proper; in my life strawberries were rare. I ate one berry, + and then, overcome by an ambition to be generous also, took the other + berry home to my mother, telling her how I had got it. To my chagrin, + mother was deeply shocked. She told me that the transaction was all wrong, + and she made me take back the berry and explain the matter to Mrs. Cabot. + By the time I reached that generous lady the berry was the worse for its + journey, and so was I. I was only nine years old and very sensitive. It + was clear to me that I could hardly live through the humiliation of the + confession, and it was indeed a bitter experience the worst, I think, in + my young life, though Mrs. Cabot was both sympathetic and understanding. + She kissed me, and sent a quart of strawberries to my mother; but for a + long time afterward I could not meet her kind eyes, for I believed that in + her heart she thought me a thief. + </p> + <p> + My second friendship, and one which had a strong influence on my + after-life, was formed in Lawrence. I was not more than ten years old when + I met this new friend, but the memory of her in after-years, and the + impression she had made on my susceptible young mind, led me first into + the ministry, next into medicine, and finally into suffrage-work. Living + next door to us, on Prospect Hill, was a beautiful and mysterious woman. + All we children knew of her was that she was a vivid and romantic figure, + who seemed to have no friends and of whom our elders spoke in whispers or + not at all. To me she was a princess in a fairy-tale, for she rode a white + horse and wore a blue velvet riding-habit with a blue velvet hat and a + picturesquely drooping white plume. I soon learned at what hours she went + forth to ride, and I used to hover around our gate for the joy of seeing + her mount and gallop away. I realized that there was something unusual + about her house, and I had an idea that the prince was waiting for her + somewhere in the far distance, and that for the time at least she had + escaped the ogre in the castle she left behind. I was wrong about the + prince, but right about the ogre. It was only when my unhappy lady left + her castle that she was free. + </p> + <p> + Very soon she noticed me. Possibly she saw the adoration in my childish + eyes. She began to nod and smile at me, and then to speak to me, but at + first I was almost afraid to answer her. There were stories now among the + children that the house was haunted, and that by night a ghost walked + there and in the grounds. I felt an extraordinary interest in the ghost, + and I spent hours peering through our picket fence, trying to catch a + glimpse of it; but I hesitated to be on terms of neighborly intimacy with + one who dwelt with ghosts. + </p> + <p> + One day the mysterious lady bent and kissed me. Then, straightening up, + she looked at me queerly and said: "Go and tell your mother I did that." + There was something very compelling in her manner. I knew at once that I + must tell my mother what she had done, and I ran into our house and did + so. While my mother was considering the problem the situation presented, + for she knew the character of the house next door, a note was handed in to + her—a very pathetic little note from my mysterious lady, asking my + mother to let me come and see her. Long afterward mother showed it to me. + It ended with the words: "She will see no one but me. No harm shall come + to her. Trust me." + </p> + <p> + That night my parents talked the matter over and decided to let me go. + Probably they felt that the slave next door was as much to be pitied as + the escaped-negro slaves they so often harbored in our home. I made my + visit, which was the first of many, and a strange friendship began and + developed between the woman of the town and the little girl she loved. + Some of those visits I remember as vividly as if I had made them + yesterday. There was never the slightest suggestion during any of them of + things I should not see or hear, for while I was with her my hostess + became a child again, and we played together like children. She had + wonderful toys for me, and pictures and books; but the thing I loved best + of all and played with for hours was a little stuffed hen which she told + me had been her dearest treasure when she was a child at home. She had + also a stuffed puppy, and she once mentioned that those two things alone + were left of her life as a little girl. Besides the toys and books and + pictures, she gave me ice-cream and cake, and told me fairy-tales. She had + a wonderful understanding of what a child likes. There were half a dozen + women in the house with her, but I saw none of them nor any of the men who + came. + </p> + <p> + Once, when we had become very good friends indeed and my early shyness had + departed, I found courage to ask her where the ghost was—the ghost + that haunted her house. I can still see the look in her eyes as they met + mine. She told me the ghost lived in her heart, and that she did not like + to talk about it, and that we must not speak of it again. After that I + never mentioned it, but I was more deeply interested than ever, for a + ghost that lived in a heart was a new kind of ghost to me at that time, + though I have met many of them since then. During all our intercourse my + mother never entered the house next door, nor did my mysterious lady enter + our home; but she constantly sent my mother secret gifts for the poor and + the sick of the neighborhood, and she was always the first to offer help + for those who were in trouble. Many years afterward mother told me she was + the most generous woman she had ever known, and that she had a rarely + beautiful nature. Our departure for Michigan broke up the friendship, but + I have never forgotten her; and whenever, in my later work as minister, + physician, and suffragist, I have been able to help women of the class to + which she belonged, I have mentally offered that help for credit in the + tragic ledger of her life, in which the clean and the blotted pages were + so strange a contrast. + </p> + <p> + One more incident of Lawrence I must describe before I leave that city + behind me, as we left it for ever in 1859. While we were still there a + number of Lawrence men decided to go West, and amid great public + excitement they departed in a body for Kansas, where they founded the town + of Lawrence in that state. I recall distinctly the public interest which + attended their going, and the feeling every one seemed to have that they + were passing forever out of the civilized world. Their farewells to their + friends were eternal; no one expected to see them again, and my small + brain grew dizzy as I tried to imagine a place so remote as their + destination. It was, I finally decided, at the uttermost ends of the + earth, and it seemed quite possible that the brave adventurers who reached + it might then drop off into space. Fifty years later I was talking to a + California girl who complained lightly of the monotony of a climate where + the sun shone and the flowers bloomed all the year around. "But I had a + delightful change last year," she added, with animation. "I went East for + the winter." + </p> + <p> + "To New York?" I asked. + </p> + <p> + "No," corrected the California girl, easily, "to Lawrence, Kansas." + </p> + <p> + Nothing, I think, has ever made me feel quite so old as that remark. That + in my life, not yet, to me at least, a long one, I should see such an arc + described seemed actually oppressive until I realized that, after all, the + arc was merely a rainbow of time showing how gloriously realized were the + hopes of the Lawrence pioneers. + </p> + <p> + The move to Michigan meant a complete upheaval in our lives. In Lawrence + we had around us the fine flower of New England civilization. We children + went to school; our parents, though they were in very humble + circumstances, were associated with the leading spirits and the big + movements of the day. When we went to Michigan we went to the wilderness, + to the wild pioneer life of those times, and we were all old enough to + keenly feel the change. + </p> + <p> + My father was one of a number of Englishmen who took up tracts in the + northern forests of Michigan, with the old dream of establishing a colony + there. None of these men had the least practical knowledge of farming. + They were city men or followers of trades which had no connection with + farm life. They went straight into the thick timber-land, instead of going + to the rich and waiting prairies, and they crowned this initial mistake by + cutting down the splendid timber instead of letting it stand. Thus + bird's-eye maple and other beautiful woods were used as fire-wood and in + the construction of rude cabins, and the greatest asset of the pioneers + was ignored. + </p> + <p> + Father preceded us to the Michigan woods, and there, with his oldest son, + James, took up a claim. They cleared a space in the wilderness just large + enough for a log cabin, and put up the bare walls of the cabin itself. + Then father returned to Lawrence and his work, leaving James behind. A few + months later (this was in 1859), my mother, my two sisters, Eleanor and + Mary, my youngest brother, Henry, eight years of age, and I, then twelve, + went to Michigan to work on and hold down the claim while father, for + eighteen months longer, stayed on in Lawrence, sending us such remittances + as he could. His second and third sons, John and Thomas, remained in the + East with him. + </p> + <p> + Every detail of our journey through the wilderness is clear in my mind. At + that time the railroad terminated at Grand Rapids, Michigan, and we + covered the remaining distance—about one hundred miles—by + wagon, riding through a dense and often trackless forest. My brother James + met us at Grand Rapids with what, in those days, was called a + lumber-wagon, but which had a horrible resemblance to a vehicle from the + health department. My sisters and I gave it one cold look and turned from + it; we were so pained by its appearance that we refused to ride in it + through the town. Instead, we started off on foot, trying to look as if we + had no association with it, and we climbed into the unwieldy vehicle only + when the city streets were far behind us. Every available inch of space in + the wagon was filled with bedding and provisions. As yet we had no + furniture; we were to make that for ourselves when we reached our cabin; + and there was so little room for us to ride that we children walked by + turns, while James, from the beginning of the journey to its end, seven + days later, led our weary horses. + </p> + <p> + To my mother, who was never strong, the whole experience must have been a + nightmare of suffering and stoical endurance. For us children there were + compensations. The expedition took on the character of a high adventure, + in which we sometimes had shelter and sometimes failed to find it, + sometimes were fed, but often went hungry. We forded innumerable streams, + the wheels of the heavy wagon sinking so deeply into the stream-beds that + we often had to empty our load before we could get them out again. Fallen + trees lay across our paths, rivers caused long detours, while again and + again we lost our way or were turned aside by impenetrable forest tangles. + </p> + <p> + Our first day's journey covered less than eight miles, and that night we + stopped at a farm-house which was the last bit of civilization we saw. + Early the next morning we were off again, making the slow progress due to + the rough roads and our heavy load. At night we stopped at a place called + Thomas's Inn, only to be told by the woman who kept it that there was + nothing in the house to eat. Her husband, she said, had gone "outside" (to + Grand Rapids) to get some flour, and had not returned—but she added + that we could spend the night, if we chose, and enjoy shelter, if not + food. We had provisions in our wagon, so we wearily entered, after my + brother had got out some of our pork and opened a barrel of flour. With + this help the woman made some biscuits, which were so green that my poor + mother could not eat them. She had admitted to us that the one thing she + had in the house was saleratus, and she had used this ingredient with an + unsparing hand. When the meal was eaten she broke the further news that + there were no beds. + </p> + <p> + "The old woman can sleep with me," she suggested, "and the girls can sleep + on the floor. The boys will have to go to the barn." She and her bed were + not especially attractive, and mother decided to lie on the floor with us. + We had taken our bedding from the wagon, and we slept very well; but + though she was usually superior to small annoyances, I think my mother + resented being called an "old woman." She must have felt like one that + night, but she was only about forty-eight years of age. + </p> + <p> + At dawn the next morning we resumed our journey, and every day after that + we were able to cover the distance demanded by the schedule arranged + before we started. This meant that some sort of shelter usually awaited us + at night. But one day we knew there would be no houses between the place + we left in the morning and that where we were to sleep. The distance was + about twenty miles, and when twilight fell we had not made it. In the back + of the wagon my mother had a box of little pigs, and during the afternoon + these had broken loose and escaped into the woods. We had lost much time + in finding them, and we were so exhausted that when we came to a hut made + of twigs and boughs we decided to camp in it for the night, though we knew + nothing about it. My brother had unharnessed the horses, and my mother and + sister were cooking dough-god—a mixture of flour, water, and soda, + fried in a pan-when two men rode up on horseback and called my brother to + one side. Immediately after the talk which followed James harnessed his + horses again and forced us to go on, though by that time darkness had + fallen. He told mother, but did not tell us children until long afterward, + that a man had been murdered in the hut only the night before. The + murderer was still at large in the woods, and the new-comers were members + of a posse who were searching for him. My brother needed no urging to put + as many miles as he could between us and the sinister spot. + </p> + <p> + In that fashion we made our way to our new home. The last day, like the + first, we traveled only eight miles, but we spent the night in a house I + shall never forget. It was beautifully clean, and for our evening meal its + mistress brought out loaves of bread which were the largest we had ever + seen. She cut great slices of this bread for us and spread maple sugar on + them, and it seemed to us that never before had anything tasted so good. + </p> + <p> + The next morning we made the last stage of our journey, our hearts filled + with the joy of nearing our new home. We all had an idea that we were + going to a farm, and we expected some resemblance at least to the + prosperous farms we had seen in New England. My mother's mental picture + was, naturally, of an English farm. Possibly she had visions of red barns + and deep meadows, sunny skies and daisies. What we found awaiting us were + the four walls and the roof of a good-sized log-house, standing in a small + cleared strip of the wilderness, its doors and windows represented by + square holes, its floor also a thing of the future, its whole effect + achingly forlorn and desolate. It was late in the afternoon when we drove + up to the opening that was its front entrance, and I shall never forget + the look my mother turned upon the place. Without a word she crossed its + threshold, and, standing very still, looked slowly around her. Then + something within her seemed to give way, and she sank upon the ground. She + could not realize even then, I think, that this was really the place + father had prepared for us, that here he expected us to live. When she + finally took it in she buried her face in her hands, and in that way she + sat for hours without moving or speaking. For the first time in her life + she had forgotten us; and we, for our part, dared not speak to her. We + stood around her in a frightened group, talking to one another in + whispers. Our little world had crumbled under our feet. Never before had + we seen our mother give way to despair. + </p> + <p> + Night began to fall. The woods became alive with night creatures, and the + most harmless made the most noise. The owls began to hoot, and soon we + heard the wildcat, whose cry—a screech like that of a lost and + panic-stricken child—is one of the most appalling sounds of the + forest. Later the wolves added their howls to the uproar, but though + darkness came and we children whimpered around her, our mother still sat + in her strange lethargy. + </p> + <p> + At last my brother brought the horses close to the cabin and built fires + to protect them and us. He was only twenty, but he showed himself a man + during those early pioneer days. While he was picketing the horses and + building his protecting fires my mother came to herself, but her face when + she raised it was worse than her silence had been. She seemed to have died + and to have returned to us from the grave, and I am sure she felt that she + had done so. From that moment she took up again the burden of her life, a + burden she did not lay down until she passed away; but her face never lost + the deep lines those first hours of her pioneer life had cut upon it. + </p> + <p> + That night we slept on boughs spread on the earth inside the cabin walls, + and we put blankets before the holes which represented our doors and + windows, and kept our watch-fires burning. Soon the other children fell + asleep, but there was no sleep for me. I was only twelve years old, but my + mind was full of fancies. Behind our blankets, swaying in the night wind, + I thought I saw the heads and pushing shoulders of animals and heard their + padded footfalls. Later years brought familiarity with wild things, and + with worse things than they. But to-night that which I most feared was + within, not outside of, the cabin. In some way which I did not understand + the one sure refuge in our new world had been taken from us. I hardly knew + the silent woman who lay near me, tossing from side to side and staring + into the darkness; I felt that we had lost our mother. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + II. IN THE WILDERNESS + </h2> + <p> + Like most men, my dear father should never have married. Though his nature + was one of the sweetest I have ever known, and though he would at any call + give his time to or risk his life for others, in practical matters he + remained to the end of his days as irresponsible as a child. If his mind + turned to practical details at all, it was solely in their bearing toward + great developments of the future. To him an acorn was not an acorn, but a + forest of young oaks. + </p> + <p> + Thus, when he took up his claim of three hundred and sixty acres of land + in the wilderness of northern Michigan, and sent my mother and five young + children to live there alone until he could join us eighteen months later, + he gave no thought to the manner in which we were to make the struggle and + survive the hardships before us. He had furnished us with land and the + four walls of a log cabin. Some day, he reasoned, the place would be a + fine estate, which his sons would inherit and in the course of time pass + on to their sons—always an Englishman's most iridescent dream. That + for the present we were one hundred miles from a railroad, forty miles + from the nearest post-office, and half a dozen miles from any neighbors + save Indians, wolves, and wildcats; that we were wholly unlearned in the + ways of the woods as well as in the most primitive methods of farming; + that we lacked not only every comfort, but even the bare necessities of + life; and that we must begin, single-handed and untaught, a struggle for + existence in which some of the severest forces of nature would be arrayed + against us—these facts had no weight in my father's mind. Even if he + had witnessed my mother's despair on the night of our arrival in our new + home, he would not have understood it. From his viewpoint, he was doing a + man's duty. He was working steadily in Lawrence, and, incidentally, giving + much time to the Abolition cause and to other big public movements of his + day which had his interest and sympathy. He wrote to us regularly and sent + us occasional remittances, as well as a generous supply of improving + literature for our minds. It remained for us to strengthen our bodies, to + meet the conditions in which he had placed us, and to survive if we could. + </p> + <p> + We faced our situation with clear and unalarmed eyes the morning after our + arrival. The problem of food, we knew, was at least temporarily solved. We + had brought with us enough coffee, pork, and flour to last for several + weeks; and the one necessity father had put inside the cabin walls was a + great fireplace, made of mud and stones, in which our food could be + cooked. The problem of our water-supply was less simple, but my brother + James solved it for the time by showing us a creek a long distance from + the house; and for months we carried from this creek, in pails, every drop + of water we used, save that which we caught in troughs when the rain fell. + </p> + <p> + We held a family council after breakfast, and in this, though I was only + twelve, I took an eager and determined part. I loved work—it has + always been my favorite form of recreation—and my spirit rose to the + opportunities of it which smiled on us from every side. Obviously the + first thing to do was to put doors and windows into the yawning holes + father had left for them, and to lay a board flooring over the earth + inside our cabin walls, and these duties we accomplished before we had + occupied our new home a fortnight. There was a small saw-mill nine miles + from our cabin, on the spot that is now Big Rapids, and there we bought + our lumber. The labor we supplied ourselves, and though we put our hearts + into it and the results at the time seemed beautiful to our partial eyes, + I am forced to admit, in looking back upon them, that they halted this + side of perfection. We began by making three windows and two doors; then, + inspired by these achievements, we ambitiously constructed an attic and + divided the ground floor with partitions, which gave us four rooms. + </p> + <p> + The general effect was temperamental and sketchy. The boards which formed + the floor were never even nailed down; they were fine, wide planks without + a knot in them, and they looked so well that we merely fitted them + together as closely as we could and lightheartedly let them go at that. + Neither did we properly chink the house. Nothing is more comfortable than + a log cabin which has been carefully built and finished; but for some + reason—probably because there seemed always a more urgent duty + calling to us around the corner—we never plastered our house at all. + The result was that on many future winter mornings we awoke to find + ourselves chastely blanketed by snow, while the only warm spot in our + living-room was that directly in front of the fireplace, where great logs + burned all day. Even there our faces scorched while our spines slowly + congealed, until we learned to revolve before the fire like a bird upon a + spit. No doubt we would have worked more thoroughly if my brother James, + who was twenty years old and our tower of strength, had remained with us; + but when we had been in our new home only a few months he fell and was + forced to go East for an operation. He was never able to return to us, and + thus my mother, we three young girls, and my youngest brother—Harry, + who was only eight years old—made our fight alone until father came + to us, more than a year later. + </p> + <p> + Mother was practically an invalid. She had a nervous affection which made + it impossible for her to stand without the support of a chair. But she + sewed with unusual skill, and it was due to her that our clothes, + notwithstanding the strain to which we subjected them, were always in good + condition. She sewed for hours every day, and she was able to move about + the house, after a fashion, by pushing herself around on a stool which + James made for her as soon as we arrived. He also built for her a more + comfortable chair with a high back. + </p> + <p> + The division of labor planned at the first council was that mother should + do our sewing, and my older sisters, Eleanor and Mary, the housework, + which was far from taxing, for of course we lived in the simplest manner. + My brothers and I were to do the work out of doors, an arrangement that + suited me very well, though at first, owing to our lack of experience, our + activities were somewhat curtailed. It was too late in the season for + plowing or planting, even if we had possessed anything with which to plow, + and, moreover, our so-called "cleared" land was thick with sturdy + tree-stumps. Even during the second summer plowing was impossible; we + could only plant potatoes and corn, and follow the most primitive method + in doing even this. We took an ax, chopped up the sod, put the seed under + it, and let the seed grow. The seed did grow, too—in the most + gratifying and encouraging manner. Our green corn and potatoes were the + best I have ever eaten. But for the present we lacked these luxuries. + </p> + <p> + We had, however, in their place, large quantities of wild fruit—gooseberries, + raspberries, and plums—which Harry and I gathered on the banks of + our creek. Harry also became an expert fisherman. We had no hooks or + lines, but he took wires from our hoop-skirts and made snares at the ends + of poles. My part of this work was to stand on a log and frighten the fish + out of their holes by making horrible sounds, which I did with impassioned + earnestness. When the fish hurried to the surface of the water to + investigate the appalling noises they had heard, they were easily snared + by our small boy, who was very proud of his ability to contribute in this + way to the family table. + </p> + <p> + During our first winter we lived largely on cornmeal, making a little + journey of twenty miles to the nearest mill to buy it; but even at that we + were better off than our neighbors, for I remember one family in our + region who for an entire winter lived solely on coarse-grained yellow + turnips, gratefully changing their diet to leeks when these came in the + spring. + </p> + <p> + Such furniture as we had we made ourselves. In addition to my mother's two + chairs and the bunks which took the place of beds, James made a settle for + the living-room, as well as a table and several stools. At first we had + our tree-cutting done for us, but we soon became expert in this gentle + art, and I developed such skill that in later years, after father came, I + used to stand with him and "heart" a log. + </p> + <p> + On every side, and at every hour of the day, we came up against the + relentless limitations of pioneer life. There was not a team of horses in + our entire region. The team with which my brother had driven us through + the wilderness had been hired at Grand Rapids for that occasion, and, of + course, immediately returned. Our lumber was delivered by ox-teams, and + the absolutely essential purchases we made "outside" (at the nearest + shops, forty miles away) were carried through the forest on the backs of + men. Our mail was delivered once a month by a carrier who made the journey + in alternate stages of horseback riding and canoeing. But we had health, + youth, enthusiasm, good appetites, and the wherewithal to satisfy them, + and at night in our primitive bunks we sank into abysses of dreamless + slumber such as I have never known since. Indeed, looking back upon them, + those first months seem to have been a long-drawn-out and glorious picnic, + interrupted only by occasional hours of pain or panic, when we were hurt + or frightened. + </p> + <p> + Naturally, our two greatest menaces were wild animals and Indians, but as + the days passed the first of these lost the early terrors with which we + had associated them. We grew indifferent to the sounds that had made our + first night a horror to us all—there was even a certain homeliness + in them—while we regarded with accustomed, almost blase eyes the + various furred creatures of which we caught distant glimpses as they slunk + through the forest. Their experience with other settlers had taught them + caution; it soon became clear that they were as eager to avoid us as we + were to shun them, and by common consent we gave each other ample + elbow-room. But the Indians were all around us, and every settler had a + collection of hair-raising tales to tell of them. It was generally agreed + that they were dangerous only when they were drunk; but as they were drunk + whenever they could get whisky, and as whisky was constantly given them in + exchange for pelts and game, there was a harrowing doubt in our minds + whenever they approached us. + </p> + <p> + In my first encounter with them I was alone in the woods at sunset with my + small brother Harry. We were hunting a cow James had bought, and our young + eyes were peering eagerly among the trees, on the alert for any moving + object. Suddenly, at a little distance, and coming directly toward us, we + saw a party of Indians. There were five of them, all men, walking in + single file, as noiselessly as ghosts, their moccasined feet causing not + even a rustle among the dry leaves that carpeted the woods. All the + horrible stories we had heard of Indian cruelty flashed into our minds, + and for a moment we were dumb with terror. Then I remembered having been + told that the one thing one must not do before them is to show fear. Harry + was carrying a rope with which we had expected to lead home our reluctant + cow, and I seized one end of it and whispered to him that we would "play + horse," pretending he was driving me. We pranced toward the Indians on + feet that felt like lead, and with eyes so glazed by terror that we could + see nothing save a line of moving figures; but as we passed them they did + not give to our little impersonation of care-free children even the + tribute of a side-glance. They were, we realized, headed straight for our + home; and after a few moments we doubled on our tracks and, keeping at a + safe distance from them among the trees, ran back to warn our mother that + they were coming. + </p> + <p> + As it happened, James was away, and mother had to meet her unwelcome + guests supported only by her young children. She at once prepared a meal, + however, and when they arrived she welcomed them calmly and gave them the + best she had. After they had eaten they began to point at and demand + objects they fancied in the room—my brother's pipe, some tobacco, a + bowl, and such trifles—and my mother, who was afraid to annoy them + by refusal, gave them what they asked. They were quite sober, and though + they left without expressing any appreciation of her hospitality, they + made her a second visit a few months later, bringing a large quantity of + venison and a bag of cranberries as a graceful return. These Indians were + Ottawas; and later we became very friendly with them and their tribe, even + to the degree of attending one of their dances, which I shall describe + later. + </p> + <p> + Our second encounter with Indians was a less agreeable experience. There + were seven "Marquette warriors" in the next group of callers, and they + were all intoxicated. Moreover, they had brought with them several jugs of + bad whisky—the raw and craze-provoking product supplied them by the + fur-dealers—and it was clear that our cabin was to be the scene of + an orgy. Fortunately, my brother James was at home on this occasion, and + as the evening grew old and the Indians, grouped together around the fire, + became more and more irresponsible, he devised a plan for our safety. Our + attic was finished, and its sole entrance was by a ladder through a + trap-door. At James's whispered command my sister Eleanor slipped up into + the attic, and from the back window let down a rope, to which he tied all + the weapons we had—his gun and several axes. These Eleanor drew up + and concealed in one of the bunks. My brother then directed that as + quietly as possible, and at long intervals, one member of the family after + another was to slip up the ladder and into the attic, going quite + casually, that the Indians might not realize what we were doing. Once + there, with the ladder drawn up after us and the trap-door closed, we + would be reasonably safe, unless our guests decided to burn the cabin. + </p> + <p> + The evening seemed endless, and was certainly nerve-racking. The Indians + ate everything in the house, and from my seat in a dim corner I watched + them while my sisters waited on them. I can still see the tableau they + made in the firelit room and hear the unfamiliar accents of their speech + as they talked together. Occasionally one of them would pull a hair from + his head, seize his scalping-knife; and cut the hair with it—a most + unpleasant sight! When either of my sisters approached them some of the + Indians would make gestures, as if capturing and scalping her. Through it + all, however, the whisky held their close attention, and it was due to + this that we succeeded in reaching the attic unobserved, James coming last + of all and drawing the ladder after him. Mother and the children were then + put to bed; but through that interminable night James and Eleanor lay flat + upon the floor, watching through the cracks between the boards the revels + of the drunken Indians, which grew wilder with every hour that crawled + toward sunrise. There was no knowing when they would miss us or how soon + their mood might change. At any moment they might make an attack upon us + or set fire to the cabin. By dawn, however, their whisky was all gone, and + they were in so deep a stupor that, one after the other, the seven fell + from their chairs to the floor, where they sprawled unconscious. When they + awoke they left quietly and without trouble of any kind. They seemed a + strangely subdued and chastened band; probably they were wretchedly ill + after their debauch on the adulterated whisky the traders had given them. + </p> + <p> + That autumn the Ottawa tribe had a great corn celebration, to which we and + the other settlers were invited. James and my older sisters attended it, + and I went with them, by my own urgent invitation. It seemed to me that as + I was sharing the work and the perils of our new environment, I might as + well share its joys; and I finally succeeded in making my family see the + logic of this position. The central feature of the festivity was a huge + kettle, many feet in circumference, into which the Indians dropped the + most extraordinary variety of food we had ever seen combined. Deer heads + went into it whole, as well as every kind of meat and vegetable the + members of the tribe could procure. We all ate some of this agreeable + mixture, and later, with one another, and even with the Indians, we danced + gaily to the music of a tom-tom and a drum. The affair was extremely + interesting until the whisky entered and did its unpleasant work. When our + hosts began to fall over in the dance and slumber where they lay, and when + the squaws began to show the same ill effects of their refreshments, we + unostentatiously slipped away. + </p> + <p> + During the winter life offered us few diversions and many hardships. Our + creek froze over, and the water problem became a serious one, which we met + with increasing difficulty as the temperature steadily fell. We melted + snow and ice, and existed through the frozen months, but with an amount of + discomfort which made us unwilling to repeat at least that special phase + of our experience. In the spring, therefore, I made a well. Long before + this, James had gone, and Harry and I were now the only outdoor members of + our working-force. Harry was still too small to help with the well; but a + young man, who had formed the neighborly habit of riding eighteen miles to + call on us, gave me much friendly aid. We located the well with a switch, + and when we had dug as far as we could reach with our spades, my assistant + descended into the hole and threw the earth up to the edge, from which I + in turn removed it. As the well grew deeper we made a half-way shelf, on + which I stood, he throwing the earth on the shelf, and I shoveling it up + from that point. Later, as he descended still farther into the hole we + were making, he shoveled the earth into buckets and passed them up to me, + I passing them on to my sister, who was now pressed into service. When the + excavation was deep enough we made the wall of slabs of wood, roughly + joined together. I recall that well with calm content. It was not a thing + of beauty, but it was a thoroughly practical well, and it remained the + only one we had during the twelve years the family occupied the cabin. + </p> + <p> + During our first year there was no school within ten miles of us, but this + lack failed to sadden Harry or me. We had brought with us from Lawrence a + box of books, in which, in winter months, when our outdoor work was + restricted, we found much comfort. They were the only books in that part + of the country, and we read them until we knew them all by heart. + Moreover, father sent us regularly the New York Independent, and with this + admirable literature, after reading it, we papered our walls. Thus, on + stormy days, we could lie on the settle or the floor and read the + Independent over again with increased interest and pleasure. + </p> + <p> + Occasionally father sent us the Ledger, but here mother drew a definite + line. She had a special dislike for that periodical, and her severest + comment on any woman was that she was the type who would "keep a dog, make + saleratus biscuit, and read the New York Ledger in the daytime." Our + modest library also contained several histories of Greece and Rome, which + must have been good ones, for years later, when I entered college, I + passed my examination in ancient history with no other preparation than + this reading. There were also a few arithmetics and algebras, a historical + novel or two, and the inevitable copy of Uncle Tom's Cabin, whose pages I + had freely moistened with my tears. + </p> + <p> + When the advantages of public education were finally extended to me, at + thirteen, by the opening of a school three miles from our home, I accepted + them with growing reluctance. The teacher was a spinster forty-four years + of age and the only genuine "old maid" I have ever met who was not a + married woman or a man. She was the real thing, and her name, Prudence + Duncan, seemed the fitting label for her rigidly uncompromising + personality. I graced Prudence's school for three months, and then left it + at her fervid request. I had walked six miles a day through trackless + woods and Western blizzards to get what she could give me, but she had + little to offer my awakened and critical mind. My reading and my Lawrence + school-work had already taught me more than Prudence knew—a fact we + both inwardry—admitted and fiercely resented from our different + viewpoints. Beyond doubt I was a pert and trying young person. I lost no + opportunity to lead Prudence beyond her intellectual depth and leave her + there, and Prudence vented her chagrin not alone upon me, but upon my + little brother. I became a thorn in her side, and one day, after an + especially unpleasant episode in which Harry also figured, she plucked me + out, as it were, and cast me for ever from her. From that time I studied + at home, where I was a much more valuable economic factor than I had been + in school. + </p> + <p> + The second spring after our arrival Harry and I extended our operations by + tapping the sugar-bushes, collecting all the sap, and carrying it home in + pails slung from our yoke-laden shoulders. Together we made one hundred + and fifty pounds of sugar and a barrel of syrup, but here again, as + always, we worked in primitive ways. To get the sap we chopped a gash in + the tree and drove in a spile. Then we dug out a trough to catch the sap. + It was no light task to lift these troughs full of sap and empty the sap + into buckets, but we did it successfully, and afterward built fires and + boiled it down. By this time we had also cleared some of our ground, and + during the spring we were able to plow, dividing the work in a way that + seemed fair to us both. These were strenuous occupations for a boy of nine + and a girl of thirteen, but, though we were not inordinately good + children, we never complained; we found them very satisfactory substitutes + for more normal bucolic joys. Inevitably, we had our little tragedies. Our + cow died, and for an entire winter we went without milk. Our coffee soon + gave out, and as a substitute we made and used a mixture of browned peas + and burnt rye. In the winter we were always cold, and the water problem, + until we had built our well, was ever with us. + </p> + <p> + Father joined us at the end of eighteen months, but though his presence + gave us pleasure and moral support, he was not an addition to our + executive staff. He brought with him a rocking-chair for mother and a new + supply of books, on which I fell as a starving man falls upon food. Father + read as eagerly as I, but much more steadily. His mind was always busy + with problems, and if, while he was laboring in the field, a new problem + presented itself to him, the imperishable curiosity that was in him made + him scurry at once to the house to solve it. I have known him to spend a + planting season in figuring on the production of a certain number of + kernels of corn, instead of planting the corn and raising it. In the + winter he was supposed to spend his time clearing land for orchards and + the like, but instead he pored over his books and problems day after day + and often half the night as well. It soon became known among our + neighbors, who were rapidly increasing in number, that we had books and + that father like to read aloud, and men walked ten miles or more to spend + the night with us and listen to his reading. Often, as his fame grew, ten + or twelve men would arrive at our cabin on Saturday and remain over + Sunday. When my mother once tried to check this influx of guests by mildly + pointing out, among other things, the waste of candles represented by + frequent all-night readings, every man humbly appeared again on the + following Saturday with a candle in each hand. They were not sensitive; + and, as they had brought their candles, it seemed fitting to them and to + father that we girls should cook for them and supply them with food. + </p> + <p> + Father's tolerance of idleness in others, however, did not extend to + tolerance of idleness in us, and this led to my first rebellion, which + occurred when I was fourteen. For once, I had been in the woods all day, + buried in my books; and when I returned at night, still in the dream world + these books had opened to me, father was awaiting my coming with a brow + dark with disapproval. As it happened, mother had felt that day some + special need of me, and father reproached me bitterly for being beyond + reach—an idler who wasted time while mother labored. He ended a long + arraignment by predicting gloomily that with such tendencies I would make + nothing of my life. + </p> + <p> + The injustice of the criticism cut deep; I knew I had done and was doing + my share for the family, and already, too, I had begun to feel the call of + my career. For some reason I wanted to preach—to talk to people, to + tell them things. Just why, just what, I did not yet know—but I had + begun to preach in the silent woods, to stand up on stumps and address the + unresponsive trees, to feel the stir of aspiration within me. + </p> + <p> + When my father had finished all he wished to say, I looked at him and + answered, quietly, "Father, some day I am going to college." + </p> + <p> + I can still see his slight, ironical smile. It drove me to a second + prediction. I was young enough to measure success by material results, so + I added, recklessly: + </p> + <p> + "And before I die I shall be worth ten thousand dollars!" + </p> + <p> + The amount staggered me even as it dropped from my lips. It was the + largest fortune my imagination could conceive, and in my heart I believed + that no woman ever had possessed or would possess so much. So far as I + knew, too, no woman had gone to college. But now that I had put my secret + hopes into words, I was desperately determined to make those hopes come + true. After I became a wage-earner I lost my desire to make a fortune, but + the college dream grew with the years; and though my college career seemed + as remote as the most distant star, I hitched my little wagon to that star + and never afterward wholly lost sight of its friendly gleam. + </p> + <p> + When I was fifteen years old I was offered a situation as school-teacher. + By this time the community was growing around us with the rapidity + characteristic of these Western settlements, and we had nearer neighbors + whose children needed instruction. I passed an examination before a + schoolboard consisting of three nervous and self-conscious men whose + certificate I still hold, and I at once began my professional career on + the modest salary of two dollars a week and my board. The school was four + miles from my home, so I "boarded round" with the families of my pupils, + staying two weeks in each place, and often walking from three to six miles + a day to and from my little log school-house in every kind of weather. + During the first year I had about fourteen pupils, of varying ages, sizes, + and temperaments, and there was hardly a book in the school-room except + those I owned. One little girl, I remember, read from an almanac, while a + second used a hymn-book. + </p> + <p> + In winter the school-house was heated by a woodstove, to which the teacher + had to give close personal attention. I could not depend on my pupils to + make the fires or carry in the fuel; and it was often necessary to fetch + the wood myself, sometimes for long distances through the forest. Again + and again, after miles of walking through winter storms, I reached the + school-house with my clothing wet through, and in these soaked garments I + taught during the day. In "boarding round" I often found myself in + one-room cabins, with bunks at the end and the sole partition a sheet or a + blanket, behind which I slept with one or two of the children. It was the + custom on these occasions for the man of the house to delicately retire to + the barn while we women got to bed, and to disappear again in the morning + while we dressed. In some places the meals were so badly cooked that I + could not eat them, and often the only food my poor little pupils brought + to school for their noonday meal was a piece of bread or a bit of raw + pork. + </p> + <p> + I earned my two dollars a week that year, but I had to wait for my wages + until the dog tax was collected in the spring. When the money was thus + raised, and the twenty-six dollars for my thirteen weeks of teaching were + graciously put into my hands, I went "outside" to the nearest shop and + joyously spent almost the entire amount for my first "party dress." The + gown I bought was, I considered, a beautiful creation. In color it was a + rich magenta, and the skirt was elaborately braided with black cable-cord. + My admiration for it was justified, for it did all a young girl's eager + heart could ask of any gown—it led to my first proposal. + </p> + <p> + The youth who sought my hand was about twenty years old, and by an unhappy + chance he was also the least attractive young person in the countryside—the + laughing-stock of the neighbors, the butt of his associates. The night he + came to offer me his heart there were already two young men at our home + calling on my sisters, and we were all sitting around the fire in the + living-room when my suitor appeared. His costume, like himself, left much + to be desired. He wore a blue flannel shirt and a pair of trousers made of + flour-bags. Such trousers were not uncommon in our region, and the boy's + mother, who had made them for him, had thoughtfully selected a nice clean + pair of sacks. But on one leg was the name of the firm that made the flour—A. + and G. W. Green—and by a charming coincidence A. and G. W. Green + happened to be the two young men who were calling on my sisters! On the + back of the bags, directly in the rear of the wearer, was the simple + legend, "96 pounds"; and the striking effect of the young man's costume + was completed by a bright yellow sash which held his trousers in place. + </p> + <p> + The vision fascinated my sisters and their two guests. They gave it their + entire attention, and when the new-comer signified with an eloquent + gesture that he was calling on me, and beckoned me into an inner room, the + quartet arose as one person and followed us to the door. Then, as we + inhospitably closed the door, they fastened their eyes to the cracks in + the living-room wall, that they might miss none of the entertainment. When + we were alone my guest and I sat down in facing chairs and in depressed + silence. The young man was nervous, and I was both frightened and annoyed. + I had heard suppressed giggles on the other side of the wall, and I + realized, as my self-centered visitor failed to do, that we were not + enjoying the privacy the situation seemed to demand. At last the youth + informed me that his "dad" had just given him a cabin, a yoke of steers, a + cow, and some hens. When this announcement had produced its full effect, + he straightened up in his chair and asked, solemnly, "Will ye have me?" + </p> + <p> + An outburst of chortles from the other side of the wall greeted the + proposal, but the ardent youth ignored it, if indeed he heard it. With + eyes staring straight ahead, he sat rigid, waiting for my answer; and I, + anxious only to get rid of him and to end the strain of the moment, said + the first thing that came into my head. "I can't," I told him. "I'm sorry, + but—but—I'm engaged." + </p> + <p> + He rose quickly, with the effect of a half-closed jack-knife that is + suddenly opened, and for an instant stood looking down upon me. He was six + feet two inches tall, and extremely thin. I am very short, and, as I + looked up, his flour-bag trousers seemed to join his yellow sash somewhere + near the ceiling of the room. He put both hands into his pockets and + slowly delivered his valedictory. "That's darned disappointing to a + fellow," he said, and left the house. After a moment devoted to regaining + my maidenly composure I returned to the living-room, where I had the + privilege of observing the enjoyment of my sisters and their visitors. + Helpless with mirth and with tears of pleasure on their cheeks, the four + rocked and shrieked as they recalled the picture my gallant had presented. + For some time after that incident I felt a strong distaste for sentiment. + </p> + <p> + Clad royally in the new gown, I attended my first ball in November, going + with a party of eight that included my two sisters, another girl, and four + young men. The ball was at Big Rapids, which by this time had grown to be + a thriving lumber town. It was impossible to get a team of horses or even + a yoke of oxen for the journey, so we made a raft and went down the river + on that, taking our party dresses with us in trunks. Unfortunately, the + raft "hung up" in the stream, and the four young men had to get out into + the icy water and work a long time before they could detach it from the + rocks. Naturally, they were soaked and chilled through, but they all bore + the experience with a gay philosophy. + </p> + <p> + When we reached Big Rapids we dressed for the ball, and, as in those days + it was customary to change one's gown again at midnight, I had an + opportunity to burst on the assemblage in two costumes—the second + made of bedroom chintz, with a low neck and short sleeves. We danced the + "money musk," and the "Virginia reel," "hoeing her down" (which means + changing partners) in true pioneer style. I never missed a dance at this + or any subsequent affair, and I was considered the gayest and the most + tireless young person at our parties until I became a Methodist minister + and dropped such worldly vanities. The first time I preached in my home + region all my former partners came to hear me, and listened with wide, + understanding, reminiscent smiles which made it very hard for me to keep + soberly to my text. + </p> + <p> + In the near future I had reason to regret the extravagant expenditure of + my first earnings. For my second year of teaching, in the same school, I + was to receive five dollars a week and to pay my own board. I selected a + place two miles and a half from the school-house, and was promptly asked + by my host to pay my board in advance. This, he explained, was due to no + lack of faith in me; the money would enable him to go "outside" to work, + leaving his family well supplied with provisions. I allowed him to go to + the school committee and collect my board in advance, at the rate of three + dollars a week for the season. When I presented myself at my new + boarding-place, however, two days later, I found the house nailed up and + deserted; the man and his family had departed with my money, and I was + left, as my committeemen sympathetically remarked, "high and dry." There + were only two dollars a week coming to me after that, so I walked back and + forth between my home and my school, almost four miles, twice a day; and + during this enforced exercise there was ample opportunity to reflect on + the fleeting joy of riches. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time war had been declared. When the news came that Fort + Sumter had been fired on, and that Lincoln had called for troops, our men + were threshing. There was only one threshing-machine in the region at that + time, and it went from place to place, the farmers doing their threshing + whenever they could get the machine. I remember seeing a man ride up on + horseback, shouting out Lincoln's demand for troops and explaining that a + regiment was being formed at Big Rapids. Before he had finished speaking + the men on the machine had leaped to the ground and rushed off to enlist, + my brother Jack, who had recently joined us, among them. In ten minutes + not one man was left in the field. A few months later my brother Tom + enlisted as a bugler—he was a mere boy at the time—and not + long after that my father followed the example of his sons and served + until the war was ended. He had entered on the twenty-ninth of August, + 1862, as an army steward; he came back to us with the rank of lieutenant + and assistant surgeon of field and staff. + </p> + <p> + Between those years I was the principal support of our family, and life + became a strenuous and tragic affair. For months at a time we had no news + from the front. The work in our community, if it was done at all, was done + by despairing women whose hearts were with their men. When care had become + our constant guest, Death entered our home as well. My sister Eleanor had + married, and died in childbirth, leaving her baby to me; and the blackest + hours of those black years were the hours that saw her passing. I can see + her still, lying in a stupor from which she roused herself at intervals to + ask about her child. She insisted that our brother Tom should name the + baby, but Tom was fighting for his country, unless he had already preceded + Eleanor through the wide portal that was opening before her. I could only + tell her that I had written to him; but before the assurance was an hour + old she would climb up from the gulf of unconsciousness with infinite + effort to ask if we had received his reply. At last, to calm her, I told + her it had come, and that Tom had chosen for her little son the name of + Arthur. She smiled at this and drew a deep breath; then, still smiling, + she passed away. Her baby slipped into her vacant place and almost filled + our heavy hearts, but only for a short time; for within a few months after + his mother's death his father married again and took him from me, and it + seemed that with his going we had lost all that made life worth while. + </p> + <p> + The problem of living grew harder with everyday. We eked out our little + income in every way we could, taking as boarders the workers in the + logging-camps, making quilts, which we sold, and losing no chance to earn + a penny in any legitimate manner. Again my mother did such outside sewing + as she could secure, yet with every month of our effort the gulf between + our income and our expenses grew wider, and the price of the bare + necessities of exisence{sic} climbed up and up. The largest amount I could + earn at teaching was six dollars a week, and our school year included only + two terms of thirteen weeks each. It was an incessant struggle to keep our + land, to pay our taxes, and to live. Calico was selling at fifty cents a + yard. Coffee was one dollar a pound. There were no men left to grind our + corn, to get in our crops, or to care for our live stock; and all around + us we saw our struggle reflected in the lives of our neighbors. + </p> + <p> + At long intervals word came to us of battles in which my father's regiment—the + Tenth Michigan Cavalry Volunteers—or those of my brothers were + engaged, and then longer intervals followed in which we heard no news. + After Eleanor's death my brother Tom was wounded, and for months we lived + in terror of worse tidings, but he finally recovered. I was walking seven + and eight miles a day, and doing extra work before and after school hours, + and my health began to fail. Those were years I do not like to look back + upon—years in which life had degenerated into a treadmill whose + monotony was broken only by the grim messages from the front. My sister + Mary married and went to Big Rapids to live. I had no time to dream my + dream, but the star of my one purpose still glowed in my dark horizon. It + seemed that nothing short of a miracle could lift my feet from their + plodding way and set them on the wider path toward which my eyes were + turned, but I never lost faith that in some manner the miracle would come + to pass. As certainly as I have ever known anything, I KNEW that I was + going to college! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + III. HIGH-SCHOOL AND COLLEGE DAYS + </h2> + <p> + The end of the Civil War brought freedom to me, too. When peace was + declared my father and brothers returned to the claim in the wilderness + which we women of the family had labored so desperately to hold while they + were gone. To us, as to others, the final years of the war had brought + many changes. My sister Eleanor's place was empty. Mary, as I have said, + had married and gone to live in Big Rapids, and my mother and I were alone + with my brother Harry, now a boy of fourteen. After the return of our men + it was no longer necessary to devote every penny of my earnings to the + maintenance of our home. For the first time I could begin to save a + portion of my income toward the fulfilment of my college dream, but even + yet there was a long, arid stretch ahead of me before the college doors + came even distantly into sight. + </p> + <p> + The largest salary I could earn by teaching in our Northern woods was one + hundred and fifty-six dollars a year, for two terms of thirteen weeks + each; and from this, of course, I had to deduct the cost of my board and + clothing—the sole expenditure I allowed myself. The dollars for an + education accumulated very, very slowly, until at last, in desperation, + weary of seeing the years of my youth rush past, bearing my hopes with + them, I took a sudden and radical step. I gave up teaching, left our cabin + in the woods, and went to Big Rapids to live with my sister Mary, who had + married a successful man and who generously offered me a home. There, I + had decided, I would learn a trade of some kind, of any kind; it did not + greatly matter what it was. The sole essential was that it should be a + money-making trade, offering wages which would make it possible to add + more rapidly to my savings. In those days, almost fifty years ago, and in + a small pioneer town, the fields open to women were few and unfruitful. + The needle at once presented itself, but at first I turned with loathing + from it. I would have preferred the digging of ditches or the shoveling of + coal; but the needle alone persistently pointed out my way, and I was + finally forced to take it. + </p> + <p> + Fate, however, as if weary at last of seeing me between her paws, suddenly + let me escape. Before I had been working a month at my uncongenial trade + Big Rapids was favored by a visit from a Universalist woman minister, the + Reverend Marianna Thompson, who came there to preach. Her sermon was + delivered on Sunday morning, and I was, I think, almost the earliest + arrival of the great congregation which filled the church. It was a + wonderful moment when I saw my first woman minister enter her pulpit; and + as I listened to her sermon, thrilled to the soul, all my early + aspirations to become a minister myself stirred in me with cumulative + force. After the services I hung for a time on the fringe of the group + that surrounded her, and at last, when she was alone and about to leave, I + found courage to introduce myself and pour forth the tale of my ambition. + Her advice was as prompt as if she had studied my problem for years. + </p> + <p> + "My child," she said, "give up your foolish idea of learning a trade, and + go to school. You can't do anything until you have an education. Get it, + and get it NOW." + </p> + <p> + Her suggestion was much to my liking, and I paid her the compliment of + acting on it promptly, for the next morning I entered the Big Rapids High + School, which was also a preparatory school for college. There I would + study, I determined, as long as my money held out, and with the optimism + of youth I succeeded in confining my imagination to this side of that + crisis. My home, thanks to Mary, was assured; the wardrobe I had brought + from the woods covered me sufficiently; to one who had walked five and six + miles a day for years, walking to school held no discomfort; and as for + pleasure, I found it, like a heroine of fiction, in my studies. For the + first time life was smiling at me, and with all my young heart I smiled + back. + </p> + <p> + The preceptress of the high school was Lucy Foot, a college graduate and a + remarkable woman. I had heard much of her sympathy and understanding; and + on the evening following my first day in school I went to her and repeated + the confidences I had reposed in the Reverend Marianna Thompson. My trust + in her was justified. She took an immediate interest in me, and proved it + at once by putting me into the speaking and debating classes, where I was + given every opportunity to hold forth to helpless classmates when the + spirit of eloquence moved me. + </p> + <p> + As an aid to public speaking I was taught to "elocute," and I remember in + every mournful detail the occasion on which I gave my first recitation. We + were having our monthly "public exhibition night," and the audience + included not only my classmates, but their parents and friends as well. + The selection I intended to recite was a poem entitled "No Sects in + Heaven," but when I faced my audience I was so appalled by its size and by + the sudden realization of my own temerity that I fainted during the + delivery of the first verse. Sympathetic classmates carried me into an + anteroom and revived me, after which they naturally assumed that the + entertainment I furnished was over for the evening. I, however, felt that + if I let that failure stand against me I could never afterward speak in + public; and within ten minutes, notwithstanding the protests of my + friends, I was back in the hall and beginning my recitation a second time. + The audience gave me its eager attention. Possibly it hoped to see me + topple off the platform again, but nothing of the sort occurred. I went + through the recitation with self-possession and received some friendly + applause at the end. Strangely enough, those first sensations of "stage + fright" have been experienced, in a lesser degree, in connection with each + of the thousands of public speeches I have made since that time. I have + never again gone so far as to faint in the presence of an audience; but I + have invariably walked out on the platform feeling the sinking sensation + at the pit of the stomach, the weakness of the knees, that I felt in the + hour of my debut. Now, however, the nervousness passes after a moment or + two. + </p> + <p> + From that night Miss Foot lost no opportunity of putting me into the + foreground of our school affairs. I took part in all our debates, recited + yards of poetry to any audience we could attract, and even shone mildly in + our amateur theatricals. It was probably owing to all this activity that I + attracted the interest of the presiding elder of our district—Dr. + Peck, a man of progressive ideas. There was at that time a movement on + foot to license women to preach in the Methodist Church, and Dr. Peck was + ambitious to be the first presiding elder to have a woman ordained for the + Methodist ministry. He had urged Miss Foot to be this pioneer, but her + ambitions did not turn in that direction. Though she was a very devout + Methodist, she had no wish to be the shepherd of a religious flock. She + loved her school-work, and asked nothing better than to remain in it. + Gently but persistently she directed the attention of Dr. Peck to me, and + immediately things began to happen. + </p> + <p> + Without telling me to what it might lead, Miss Foot finally arranged a + meeting at her home by inviting Dr. Peck and me to dinner. Being + unconscious of any significance in the occasion, I chatted light-heartedly + about the large issues of life and probably settled most of them to my + personal satisfaction. Dr. Peck drew me out and led me on, listened and + smiled. When the evening was over and we rose to go, he turned to me with + sudden seriousness: + </p> + <p> + "My quarterly meeting will be held at Ashton," he remarked, casually. "I + would like you to preach the quarterly sermon." + </p> + <p> + For a moment the earth seemed to slip away from my feet. I stared at him + in utter stupefaction. Then slowly I realized that, incredible as it + seemed, the man was in earnest. + </p> + <p> + "Why," I stammered, "<i>I</i> can't preach a sermon!" + </p> + <p> + Dr. Peck smiled at me. "Have you ever tried?" he asked. + </p> + <p> + I started to assure him vehemently that I never had. Then, as if Time had + thrown a picture on a screen before me, I saw myself as a little girl + preaching alone in the forest, as I had so often preached to a + congregation of listening trees. I qualified my answer. + </p> + <p> + "Never," I said, "to human beings." + </p> + <p> + Dr. Peck smiled again. "Well," he told me, "the door is open. Enter or + not, as you wish." + </p> + <p> + He left the house, but I remained to discuss his overwhelming proposition + with Miss Foot. A sudden sobering thought had come to me. + </p> + <p> + "But," I exclaimed, "I've never been converted. How can I preach to any + one?" + </p> + <p> + We both had the old-time idea of conversion, which now seems so mistaken. + We thought one had to struggle with sin and with the Lord until at last + the heart opened, doubts were dispersed, and the light poured in. Miss + Foot could only advise me to put the matter before the Lord, to wrestle + and to pray; and thereafter, for hours at a time, she worked and prayed + with me, alternately urging, pleading, instructing, and sending up + petitions in my behalf. Our last session was a dramatic one, which took up + the entire night. Long before it was over we were both worn out; but + toward morning, either from exhaustion of body or exaltation of soul, I + seemed to see the light, and it made me very happy. With all my heart I + wanted to preach, and I believed that now at last I had my call. The + following day we sent word to Dr. Peck that I would preach the sermon at + Ashton as he had asked, but we urged him to say nothing of the matter for + the present, and Miss Foot and I also kept the secret locked in our + breasts. I knew only too well what view my family and my friends would + take of such a step and of me. To them it would mean nothing short of + personal disgrace and a blotted page in the Shaw record. + </p> + <p> + I had six weeks in which to prepare my sermon, and I gave it most of my + waking hours as well as those in which I should have been asleep. I took + for my text: "And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even + so must the Son of Man be lifted up; that whosoever believeth in Him + should not perish, but have eternal life." + </p> + <p> + It was not until three days before I preached the sermon that I found + courage to confide my purpose to my sister Mary, and if I had confessed my + intention to commit a capital crime she could not have been more + disturbed. We two had always been very close, and the death of Eleanor, to + whom we were both devoted, had drawn us even nearer to each other. Now + Mary's tears and prayers wrung my heart and shook my resolution. But, + after all, she was asking me to give up my whole future, to close my ears + to my call, and I felt that I could not do it. My decision caused an + estrangement between us which lasted for years. On the day preceding the + delivery of my sermon I left for Ashton on the afternoon train; and in the + same car, but as far away from me as she could get, Mary sat alone and + wept throughout the journey. She was going to my mother, but she did not + speak to me; and I, for my part, facing both alienation from her and the + ordeal before me, found my one comfort in Lucy Foot's presence and + understanding sympathy. + </p> + <p> + There was no church in Ashton, so I preached my sermon in its one little + school-house, which was filled with a curious crowd, eager to look at and + hear the girl who was defying all conventions by getting out of the pew + and into the pulpit. There was much whispering and suppressed excitement + before I began, but when I gave out my text silence fell upon the room, + and from that moment until I had finished my hearers listened quietly. A + kerosene-lamp stood on a stand at my elbow, and as I preached I trembled + so violently that the oil shook in its glass globe; but I finished without + breaking down, and at the end Dr. Peck, who had his own reasons for + nervousness, handsomely assured me that my first sermon was better than + his maiden effort had been. It was evidently not a failure, for the next + day he invited me to follow him around in his circuit, which included + thirty-six appointments; he wished me to preach in each of the thirty-six + places, as it was desirable to let the various ministers hear and know me + before I applied for my license as a local preacher. + </p> + <p> + The sermon also had another result, less gratifying. It brought out, on + the following morning, the first notice of me ever printed in a newspaper. + This was instigated by my brother-in-law, and it was brief but pointed. It + read: + </p> + <p> + A young girl named Anna Shaw, seventeen years old, <a href="#linknote-1" + name="linknoteref-1" id="linknoteref-1"><small>1</small></a> preached at + Ashton yesterday. Her real friends deprecate the course she is pursuing. + </p> + <p> + <a name="linknote-1" id="linknote-1"> + <!-- Note --></a> + </p> + <p class="foot"> + 1 (<a href="#linknoteref-1">return</a>)<br /> [ A misstatement by the + brother-in-law. Dr. Shaw was at this time twenty-three years old.—E. + J.] + </p> + <p> + The little notice had something of the effect of a lighted match applied + to gunpowder. An explosion of public sentiment followed it, the entire + community arose in consternation, and I became a bone of contention over + which friends and strangers alike wrangled until they wore themselves out. + The members of my family, meeting in solemn council, sent for me, and I + responded. They had a proposition to make, and they lost no time in + putting it before me. If I gave up my preaching they would send me to + college and pay for my entire course. They suggested Ann Arbor, and Ann + Arbor tempted me sorely; but to descend from the pulpit I had at last + entered—the pulpit I had visualized in all my childish dreams—was + not to be considered. We had a long evening together, and it was a very + unhappy one. At the end of it I was given twenty-four hours in which to + decide whether I would choose my people and college, or my pulpit and the + arctic loneliness of a life that held no family-circle. It did not require + twenty-four hours of reflection to convince me that I must go my solitary + way. + </p> + <p> + That year I preached thirty-six times, at each of the presiding elder's + appointments; and the following spring, at the annual Methodist Conference + of our district, held at Big Rapids, my name was presented to the + assembled ministers as that of a candidate for a license to preach. There + was unusual interest in the result, and my father was among those who came + to the Conference to see the vote taken. During these Conferences a + minister voted affirmatively on a question by holding up his hand, and + negatively by failing to do so. When the question of my license came up + the majority of the ministers voted by raising both hands, and in the + pleasant excitement which followed my father slipped away. Those who saw + him told me he looked pleased; but he sent me no message showing a change + of viewpoint, and the gulf between the family and its black sheep remained + unbridged. Though the warmth of Mary's love for me had become a memory, + the warmth of her hearthstone was still offered me. I accepted it, + perforce, and we lived together like shadows of what we had been. Two + friends alone of all I had made stood by me without qualification—Miss + Foot and Clara Osborn, the latter my "chum" at Big Rapids and a dweller in + my heart to this day. + </p> + <p> + In the mean time my preaching had not interfered with my studies. I was + working day and night, but life was very difficult; for among my + schoolmates, too, there were doubts and much head-shaking over this choice + of a career. I needed the sound of friendly voices, for I was very lonely; + and suddenly, when the pressure from all sides was strongest and I was + going down physically under it, a voice was raised that I had never dared + to dream would speak for me. Mary A. Livermore came to Big Rapids, and as + she was then at the height of her career, the entire countryside poured in + to hear her. Far back in the crowded hall I sat alone and listened to her, + thrilled by the lecture and tremulous with the hope of meeting the + lecturer. When she had finished speaking I joined the throng that surged + forward from the body of the hall, and as I reached her and felt the grasp + of her friendly hand I had a sudden conviction that the meeting was an + epoch in my life. I was right. Some one in the circle around us told her + that I wanted to preach, and that I was meeting tremendous opposition. She + was interested at once. She looked at me with quickening sympathy, and + then, suddenly putting an arm around me, drew me close to her side. + </p> + <p> + "My dear," she said, quietly, "if you want to preach, go on and preach. + Don't let anybody stop you. No matter what people say, don't let them stop + you!" + </p> + <p> + For a moment I was too overcome to answer her. These were almost my first + encouraging words, and the morning stars singing together could not have + made sweeter music for my ears. Before I could recover a woman within + hearing spoke up. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Mrs. Livermore," she exclaimed, "don't say that to her! We're all + trying to stop her. Her people are wretched over the whole thing. And + don't you see how ill she is? She has one foot in the grave and the other + almost there!" + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Livermore turned upon me a long and deeply thoughtful look. "Yes," + she said at last, "I see she has. But it is better that she should die + doing the thing she wants to do than that she should die because she can't + do it." + </p> + <p> + Her words were a tonic which restored my voice. "So they think I'm going + to die!" I cried. "Well, I'm not! I'm going to live and preach!" + </p> + <p> + I have always felt since then that without the inspiration of Mrs. + Livermore's encouragement I might not have continued my fight. Her + sanction was a shield, however, from which the criticisms of the world + fell back. Fate's more friendly interest in my affairs that year was shown + by the fact that she sent Mrs. Livermore into my life before I had met + Anna Dickinson. Miss Dickinson came to us toward spring and lectured on + Joan of Arc. Never before or since have I been more deeply moved by a + speaker. When she had finished her address I made my happy way to the + front of the hall with the others who wished to meet the distinguished + guest. It was our local manager who introduced me, and he said, "This is + our Anna Shaw. She is going to be a lecturer, too." + </p> + <p> + I looked up at the brilliant Miss Dickinson with the trustfulness of youth + in my eyes. I remembered Mrs. Livermore and I thought all great women were + like her, but I was now to experience a bitter disillusionment. Miss + Dickinson barely touched the tips of my fingers as she looked + indifferently past the side of my face. "Ah," she said, icily, and turned + away. In later years I learned how impossible it is for a public speaker + to leave a gracious impression on every life that for a moment touches her + own; but I have never ceased to be thankful that I met Mrs. Livermore + before I met Miss Dickinson at the crisis in my career. + </p> + <p> + In the autumn of 1873 I entered Albion College, in Albion, Michigan. I was + twenty-five years of age, but I looked much younger—probably not + more than eighteen to the casual glance. Though I had made every effort to + save money, I had not been successful, for my expenses constantly outran + my little income, and my position as preacher made it necessary for me to + have a suitable wardrobe. When the time came to enter college I had + exactly eighteen dollars in the world, and I started for Albion with this + amount in my purse and without the slightest notion of how I was to add to + it. The money problem so pressed upon me, in fact, that when I reached my + destination at midnight and discovered that it would cost fifty cents to + ride from the station to the college, I saved that amount by walking the + entire distance on the railroad tracks, while my imagination busied itself + pleasantly with pictures of the engine that might be thundering upon me in + the rear. I had chosen Albion because Miss Foot had been educated there, + and I was encouraged by an incident that happened the morning after my + arrival. I was on the campus, walking toward the main building, when I saw + a big copper penny lying on the ground, and, on picking it up, I + discovered that it bore the year of my birth. That seemed a good omen, and + it was emphatically underlined by the finding of two exactly similar + pennies within a week. Though there have been days since then when I was + sorely tempted to spend them, I have those three pennies still, and I + confess to a certain comfort in their possession! + </p> + <p> + As I had not completed my high-school course, my first days at Albion were + spent in strenuous preparation for the entrance examinations; and one + morning, as I was crossing the campus with a History of the United States + tucked coyly under my arm, I met the president of the college, Dr. + Josclyn. He stopped for a word of greeting, during which I betrayed the + fact that I had never studied United States history. Dr. Josclyn at once + invited me into his office with, I am quite sure, the purpose of + explaining as kindly as he could that my preparation for college was + insufficient. As an opening to the subject he began to talk of history, + and we talked and talked on, while unheeded hours were born and died. We + discussed the history of the United States, the governments of the world, + the causes which led to the influence of one nation on another, the + philosophical basis of the different national movements westward, and the + like. It was the longest and by far the most interesting talk I have ever + had with a highly educated man, and during it I could actually feel my + brain expand. When I rose to go President Josclyn stopped me. + </p> + <p> + "I have something to give you," he said, and he wrote a few words on a + slip of paper and handed the slip to me. When, on reaching the dormitory, + I opened it, I found that the president had passed me in the history of + the entire college course! This, moreover, was not the only pleasant + result of our interview, for within a few weeks President and Mrs. + Josclyn, whose daughter had recently died, invited me to board with them, + and I made my home with them during my first year at Albion. + </p> + <p> + My triumph in history was followed by the swift and chastening discovery + that I was behind my associates in several other branches. Owing to my + father's early help, I was well up in mathematics, but I had much to learn + of philosophy and the languages, and to these I devoted many midnight + candles. + </p> + <p> + Naturally, I soon plunged into speaking, and my first public speech at + college was a defense of Xantippe. I have always felt that the poor lady + was greatly abused, and that Socrates deserved all he received from her, + and more. I was glad to put myself on record as her champion, and my + fellow-students must soon have felt that my admiration for Xantippe was + based on similarities of temperament, for within a few months I was + leading the first college revolt against the authority of the men + students. + </p> + <p> + Albion was a coeducational institution, and the brightest jewels in its + crown were its three literary societies—the first composed of men + alone, the second of women alone, and the third of men and women together. + Each of the societies made friendly advances to new students, and for some + time I hesitated on the brink of the new joys they offered, uncertain + which to choose. A representative of the mixed society, who was putting + its claims before me, unconsciously helped me to make up my mind. + </p> + <p> + "Women," he pompously assured me, "need to be associated with men, because + they don't know how to manage meetings." + </p> + <p> + On the instant the needle of decision swung around to the women's society + and remained there, fixed. + </p> + <p> + "If they don't," I told the pompous young man, "it's high time they + learned. I shall join the women, and we'll master the art." + </p> + <p> + I did join the women's society, and I had not been a member very long + before I discovered that when there was an advantage of any kind to be + secured the men invariably got it. While I was brooding somberly upon this + wrong an opportunity came to make a formal and effective protest against + the men's high-handed methods. The Quinquennial reunion of all the + societies was about to be held, and the special feature of this festivity + was always an oration. The simple method of selecting the orator which had + formerly prevailed had been for the young men to decide upon the speaker + and then announce his name to the women, who humbly confirmed it. On this + occasion, however, when the name came in to us, I sent a message to our + brother society to the effect that we, too, intended to make a nomination + and to send in a name. + </p> + <p> + At such unprecedented behavior the entire student body arose in + excitement, which, among the girls, was combined with equal parts of + exhilaration and awe. The men refused to consider our nominee, and as a + friendly compromise we suggested that we have a joint meeting of all the + societies and elect the speaker at this gathering; but this plan also the + men at first refused, giving in only after weeks of argument, during which + no one had time for the calmer pleasures of study. When the joint meeting + was finally held, nothing was accomplished; we girls had one more member + than the boys had, and we promptly re-elected our candidate, who was as + promptly declined by the boys. Two of our girls were engaged to two of the + boys, and it was secretly planned by our brother society that during a + second joint meeting these two men should take the girls out for a drive + and then slip back to vote, leaving the girls at some point sufficiently + remote from college. We discovered the plot, however, in time to thwart + it, and at last, when nothing but the unprecedented tie-up had been + discussed for months, the boys suddenly gave up their candidate and + nominated me for orator. + </p> + <p> + This was not at all what I wanted, and I immediately declined to serve. We + girls then nominated the young man who had been first choice of our + brother society, but he haughtily refused to accept the compliment. The + reunion was only a fortnight away, and the programme had not been printed, + so now the president took the situation in hand and peremptorily ordered + me to accept the nomination or be suspended. This was a wholly unexpected + boomerang. I had wished to make a good fight for equal rights for the + girls, and to impress the boys with the fact of our existence as a + society; but I had not desired to set the entire student body by the ears + nor to be forced to prepare and deliver an oration at the eleventh hour. + Moreover, I had no suitable gown to wear on so important an occasion. One + of my classmates, however, secretly wrote to my sister, describing my + blushing honors and explaining my need, and my family rallied to the call. + My father bought the material, and my mother and Mary paid for the making + of the gown. It was a white alpaca creation, trimmed with satin, and the + consciousness that it was extremely becoming sustained me greatly during + the mental agony of preparing and delivering my oration. To my family that + oration was the redeeming episode of my early career. For the moment it + almost made them forget my crime of preaching. + </p> + <p> + My original fund of eighteen dollars was now supplemented by the proceeds + of a series of lectures I gave on temperance. The temperance women were + not yet organized, but they had their speakers, and I was occasionally + paid five dollars to hold forth for an hour or two in the little country + school-houses of our region. As a licensed preacher I had no tuition fees + to pay at college; but my board, in the home of the president and his + wife, was costing me four dollars a week, and this was the limit of my + expenses, as I did my own laundry-work. During my first college year the + amount I paid for amusement was exactly fifty cents; that went for a + lecture. The mental strain of the whole experience was rather severe, for + I never knew how much I would be able to earn; and I was beginning to feel + the effects of this when Christmas came and brought with it a gift of + ninety-two dollars, which Miss Foot had collected among my Big Rapids + friends. That, with what I could earn, carried me through the year. + </p> + <p> + The following spring our brother James, who was now living in St. + Johnsbury, Vermont, invited my sister Mary and me to spend the summer with + him, and Mary and I finally dug a grave for our little hatchet and went + East together with something of our old-time joy in each other's society. + We reached St. Johnsbury one Saturday, and within an hour of our arrival + learned that my brother had arranged for me to preach in a local church + the following day. That threatened to spoil the visit for Mary and even to + disinter the hatchet! At first she positively refused to go to hear me, + but after a few hours of reflection she announced gloomily that if she did + not go I would not have my hair arranged properly or get my hat on + straight. Moved by this conviction, she joined the family parade to the + church, and later, in the sacristy, she pulled me about and pinned me up + to her heart's content. Then, reluctantly, she went into the church and + heard me preach. She offered no tributes after our return to the house, + but her protests ceased from that time, and we gave each other the love + and understanding which had marked our girlhood days. The change made me + very happy; for Mary was the salt of the earth, and next only to my + longing for my mother, I had longed for her in the years of our + estrangement. + </p> + <p> + Every Sunday that summer I preached in or near St. Johnsbury, and toward + autumn we had a big meeting which the ministers of all the surrounding + churches attended. I was asked to preach the sermon—a high + compliment—and I chose that important day to make a mistake in + quoting a passage from Scripture. I asked, "Can the Ethiopian change his + spots or the leopard his skin?" I realized at once that I had transposed + the words, and no doubt a look of horror dawned in my eyes; but I went on + without correcting myself and without the slightest pause. Later, one of + the ministers congratulated me on this presence of mind. + </p> + <p> + "If you had corrected yourself," he said, "all the young people would have + been giggling yet over the spotted nigger. Keep to your rule of going + right ahead!" + </p> + <p> + At the end of the summer the various churches in which I had preached gave + me a beautiful gold watch and one hundred dollars in money, and with an + exceedingly light heart I went back to college to begin my second year of + work. + </p> + <p> + From that time life was less complex. I had enough temperance-work and + preaching in the country school-houses and churches to pay my college + expenses, and, now that my financial anxieties were relieved, my health + steadily improved. Several times I preached to the Indians, and these + occasions were among the most interesting of my experiences. The squaws + invariably brought their babies with them, but they had a simple and + effective method of relieving themselves of the care of the infants as + soon as they reached the church. The papooses, who were strapped to their + boards, were hung like a garment on the back wall of the building by a + hole in the top of the board, which projected above their heads. Each + papoose usually had a bit of fat pork tied to the end of a string fastened + to its wrist, and with these sources of nourishment the infants occupied + themselves pleasantly while the sermon was in progress. Frequently the + pork slipped down the throat of the papoose, but the struggle of the child + and the jerking of its hands in the strangulation that followed pulled the + piece safely out again. As I faced the congregation I also faced the + papooses, to whom the indifferent backs of their mothers were presented; + it seemed to me there was never a time when some papoose was not choking, + but no matter how much excitement or discomfort was going on among the + babies, not one squaw turned her head to look back at them. In that + assemblage the emotions were not allowed to interrupt the calm + intellectual enjoyment of the sermon. + </p> + <p> + My most dramatic experience during this period occurred in the summer of + 1874, when I went to a Northern lumber-camp to preach in the pulpit of a + minister who was away on his honeymoon. The stage took me within + twenty-two miles of my destination, to a place called Seberwing. To my + dismay, however, when I arrived at Seberwing, Saturday evening, I found + that the rest of the journey lay through a dense woods, and that I could + reach my pulpit in time the next morning only by having some one drive me + through the woods that night. It was not a pleasant prospect, for I had + heard appalling tales of the stockades in this region and of the women who + were kept prisoners there. But to miss the engagement was not to be + thought of, and when, after I had made several vain efforts to find a + driver, a man appeared in a two-seated wagon and offered to take me to my + destination, I felt that I had to go with him, though I did not like his + appearance. He was a huge, muscular person, with a protruding jaw and a + singularly evasive eye; but I reflected that his forbidding expression + might be due, in part at least, to the prospect of the long night drive + through the woods, to which possibly he objected as much as I did. + </p> + <p> + It was already growing dark when we started, and within a few moments we + were out of the little settlement and entering the woods. With me I had a + revolver I had long since learned to use, but which I very rarely carried. + I had hesitated to bring it now—had even left home without it; and + then, impelled by some impulse I never afterward ceased to bless, had + returned for it and dropped it into my hand-bag. + </p> + <p> + I sat on the back seat of the wagon, directly behind the driver, and for a + time, as we entered the darkening woods, his great shoulders blotted out + all perspective as he drove on in stolid silence. Then, little by little, + they disappeared like a rapidly fading negative. The woods were filled + with Norway pines, hemlocks, spruce, and tamaracks-great, somber trees + that must have shut out the light even on the brightest days. To-night the + heavens held no lamps aloft to guide us, and soon the darkness folded + around us like a garment. I could see neither the driver nor his horses. I + could hear only the sibilant whisper of the trees and the creak of our + slow wheels in the rough forest road. + </p> + <p> + Suddenly the driver began to talk, and at first I was glad to hear the + reassuring human tones, for the experience had begun to seem like a bad + dream. I replied readily, and at once regretted that I had done so, for + the man's choice of topics was most unpleasant. He began to tell me + stories of the stockades—grim stories with horrible details, + repeated so fully and with such gusto that I soon realized he was + deliberately affronting my ears. I checked him and told him I could not + listen to such talk. + </p> + <p> + He replied with a series of oaths and shocking vulgarities, stopping his + horses that he might turn and fling the words into my face. He ended by + snarling that I must think him a fool to imagine he did not know the kind + of woman I was. What was I doing in that rough country, he demanded, and + why was I alone with him in those black woods at night? + </p> + <p> + Though my heart missed a beat just then, I tried to answer him calmly. + </p> + <p> + "You know perfectly well who I am," I reminded him. "And you understand + that I am making this journey to-night because I am to preach to-morrow + morning and there is no other way to keep my appointment." + </p> + <p> + He uttered a laugh which was a most unpleasant sound. + </p> + <p> + "Well," he said, coolly, "I'm damned if I'll take you. I've got you here, + and I'm going to keep you here!" + </p> + <p> + I slipped my hand into the satchel in my lap, and it touched my revolver. + No touch of human fingers ever brought such comfort. With a deep breath of + thanksgiving I drew it out and cocked it, and as I did so he recognized + the sudden click. + </p> + <p> + "Here! What have you got there?" he snapped. + </p> + <p> + "I have a revolver," I replied, as steadily as I could. "And it is cocked + and aimed straight at your back. Now drive on. If you stop again, or + speak, I'll shoot you." + </p> + <p> + For an instant or two he blustered. + </p> + <p> + "By God," he cried, "you wouldn't dare." + </p> + <p> + "Wouldn't I?" I asked. "Try me by speaking just once more." + </p> + <p> + Even as I spoke I felt my hair rise on my scalp with the horror of the + moment, which seemed worse than any nightmare a woman could experience. + But the man was conquered by the knowledge of the waiting, willing weapon + just behind him. He laid his whip savagely on the backs of his horses and + they responded with a leap that almost knocked me out of the wagon. + </p> + <p> + The rest of the night was a black terror I shall never forget. He did not + speak again, nor stop, but I dared not relax my caution for an instant. + Hour after hour crawled toward day, and still I sat in the unpierced + darkness, the revolver ready. I knew he was inwardly raging, and that at + any instant he might make a sudden jump and try to get the revolver away + from me. I decided that at his slightest movement I must shoot. But dawn + came at last, and just as its bluish light touched the dark tips of the + pines we drove up to the log hotel in the settlement that was our + destination. Here my driver spoke. + </p> + <p> + "Get down," he said, gruffly. "This is the place." + </p> + <p> + I sat still. Even yet I dared not trust him. Moreover, I was so stiff + after my vigil that I was not sure I could move. + </p> + <p> + "You get down," I directed, "and wake up the landlord. Bring him out + here." + </p> + <p> + He sullenly obeyed and aroused the hotel-owner, and when the latter + appeared I climbed out of the wagon with some effort but without + explanation. That morning I preached in my friend's pulpit as I had + promised to do, and the rough building was packed to its doors with + lumbermen who had come in from the neighboring camp. Their appearance + caused great surprise, as they had never attended a service before. They + formed a most picturesque congregation, for they all wore brilliant + lumber-camp clothing—blue or red shirts with yellow scarfs twisted + around their waists, and gay-colored jackets and logging-caps. There were + forty or fifty of them, and when we took up our collection they responded + with much liberality and cheerful shouts to one another. + </p> + <p> + "Put in fifty cents!" they yelled across the church. "Give her a dollar!" + </p> + <p> + The collection was the largest that had been taken up in the history of + the settlement, but I soon learned that it was not the spiritual comfort I + offered which had appealed to the lumber-men. My driver of the night + before, who was one of their number, had told his pals of his experience, + and the whole camp had poured into town to see the woman minister who + carried a revolver. + </p> + <p> + "Her sermon?" said one of them to my landlord, after the meeting. "Huh! I + dunno what she preached. But, say, don't make no mistake about one thing: + the little preacher has sure got grit!" + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IV. THE WOLF AT THE DOOR + </h2> + <p> + When I returned to Albion College in the autumn of 1875 I brought with me + a problem which tormented me during my waking hours and chattered on my + pillow at night. Should I devote two more years of my vanishing youth to + the completion of my college course, or, instead, go at once to Boston + University, enter upon my theological studies, take my degree, and be + about my Father's business? + </p> + <p> + I was now twenty-seven years old, and I had been a licensed preacher for + three years. My reputation in the Northwest was growing, and by sermons + and lectures I could certainly earn enough to pay the expenses of the full + college course. On the other hand, Boston was a new world. There I would + be alone and practically penniless, and the opportunities for work might + be limited. Quite possibly in my final two years at Albion I could even + save enough money to make the experience in Boston less difficult, and the + clear common sense I had inherited from my mother reminded me that in this + course lay wisdom. Possibly it was some inheritance from my visionary + father which made me, at the end of three months, waive these sage + reflections, pack my few possessions, and start for Boston, where I + entered the theological school of the university in February, 1876. + </p> + <p> + It was an instance of stepping off a solid plank and into space; and + though there is exhilaration in the sensation, as I discovered then and at + later crises in life when I did the same thing, there was also an amount + of subsequent discomfort for which even my lively imagination had not + prepared me. I went through some grim months in Boston—months during + which I learned what it was to go to bed cold and hungry, to wake up cold + and hungry, and to have no knowledge of how long these conditions might + continue. But not more than once or twice during the struggle there, and + then only for an hour or two in the physical and mental depression + attending malnutrition, did I regret coming. At that period of my life I + believed that the Lord had my small personal affairs very much on His + mind. If I starved and froze it was His test of my worthiness for the + ministry, and if He had really chosen me for one of His servants, He would + see me through. The faith that sustained me then has still a place in my + life, and existence without it would be an infinitely more dreary affair + than it is. But I admit that I now call upon the Lord less often and less + imperatively than I did before the stern years taught me my unimportance + in the great scheme of things. + </p> + <p> + My class at the theological school was composed of forty-two young men and + my unworthy self, and before I had been a member of it an hour I realized + that women theologians paid heavily for the privilege of being women. The + young men of my class who were licensed preachers were given free + accommodations in the dormitory, and their board, at a club formed for + their assistance, cost each of them only one dollar and twenty-five cents + a week. For me no such kindly provision was made. I was not allowed a + place in the dormitory, but instead was given two dollars a week to pay + the rent of a room outside. Neither was I admitted to the economical + comforts of the club, but fed myself according to my income, a plan which + worked admirably when there was an income, but left an obvious void when + there was not. + </p> + <p> + With characteristic optimism, however, I hired a little attic room on + Tremont Street and established myself therein. In lieu of a window the + room offered a pale skylight to the February storms, and there was neither + heat in it nor running water; but its possession gave me a pleasant sense + of proprietorship, and the whole experience seemed a high adventure. I at + once sought opportunities to preach and lecture, but these were even rarer + than firelight and food. In Albion I had been practically the only + licensed preacher available for substitute and special work. In Boston + University's three theological classes there were a hundred men, each + snatching eagerly at the slightest possibility of employment; and when, + despite this competition, I received and responded to an invitation to + preach, I never knew whether I was to be paid for my services in cash or + in compliments. If, by a happy chance, the compensation came in cash, the + amount was rarely more than five dollars, and never more than ten. There + was no help in sight from my family, whose early opposition to my career + as a minister had hotly flamed forth again when I started East. I lived, + therefore, on milk and crackers, and for weeks at a time my hunger was + never wholly satisfied. In my home in the wilderness I had often heard the + wolves prowling around our door at night. Now, in Boston, I heard them + even at high noon. + </p> + <p> + There is a special and almost indescribable depression attending such + conditions. No one who has not experienced the combination of continued + cold, hunger, and loneliness in a great, strange, indifferent city can + realize how it undermines the victim's nerves and even tears at the moral + fiber. The self-humiliation I experienced was also intense. I had worked + my way in the Northwest; why could I not work my way in Boston? Was there, + perhaps, some lack in me and in my courage? Again and again these + questions rose in my mind and poisoned my self-confidence. The one comfort + I had in those black days was the knowledge that no one suspected the + depth of the abyss in which I dwelt. We were all struggling; to the + indifferent glance—and all glances were indifferent—my + struggle was no worse than that of my classmates whose rooms and frugal + meals were given them. + </p> + <p> + After a few months of this existence I was almost ready to believe that + the Lord's work for me lay outside of the ministry, and while this fear + was gripping me a serious crisis came in my financial affairs. The day + dawned when I had not a cent, nor any prospect of earning one. My stock of + provisions consisted of a box of biscuit, and my courage was flowing from + me like blood from an opened vein. Then came one of the quick turns of the + wheel of chance which make for optimism. Late in the afternoon I was asked + to do a week of revival work with a minister in a local church, and when I + accepted his invitation I mentally resolved to let that week decide my + fate. My shoes had burst open at the sides; for lack of car-fare I had to + walk to and from the scene of my meetings, though I had barely strength + for the effort. If my week of work brought me enough to buy a pair of + cheap shoes and feed me for a few days I would, I decided, continue my + theological course. If it did not, I would give up the fight. + </p> + <p> + Never have I worked harder or better than during those seven days, when I + put into the effort not only my heart and soul, but the last flame of my + dying vitality, We had a rousing revival—one of the good old-time + affairs when the mourners' benches were constantly filled and the air + resounded with alleluias. The excitement and our success, mildly aided by + the box of biscuit, sustained me through the week, and not until the last + night did I realize how much of me had gone into this final desperate + charge of mine. Then, the service over and the people departed, I sank, + weak and trembling, into a chair, trying to pull myself together before + hearing my fate in the good-night words of the minister I had assisted. + When he came to me and began to compliment me on the work I had done, I + could not rise. I sat still and listened with downcast eyes, afraid to + lift them lest he read in them something of my need and panic in this + moment when my whole future seemed at stake. + </p> + <p> + At first his words rolled around the empty church as if they were trying + to get away from me, but at last I began to catch them. I was, it seemed, + a most desirable helper. It had been a privilege and a pleasure to be + associated with me. Beyond doubt, I would go far in my career. He heartily + wished that he could reward me adequately. I deserved fifty dollars. + </p> + <p> + My tired heart fluttered at this. Probably my empty stomach fluttered, + too; but in the next moment something seemed to catch my throat and stop + my breath. For it appeared that, notwithstanding the enthusiasm and the + spiritual uplift of the week, the collections had been very disappointing + and the expenses unusually heavy. He could not give me fifty dollars. He + could not give me anything at all. He thanked me warmly and wished me good + night. + </p> + <p> + I managed to answer him and to get to my feet, but that journey down the + aisle from my chair to the church door was the longest journey I have ever + made. During it I felt not only the heart-sick disappointment of the + moment, but the cumulative unhappiness of the years to come. I was + friendless, penniless, and starving, but it was not of these conditions + that I thought then. The one overwhelming fact was that I had been weighed + and found wanting. I was not worthy. + </p> + <p> + I stumbled along, passing blindly a woman who stood on the street near the + church entrance. She stopped me, timidly, and held out her hand. Then + suddenly she put her arms around me and wept. She was an old lady, and I + did not know her, but it seemed fitting that she should cry just then, as + it would have seemed fitting to me if at that black moment all the people + on the earth had broken into sudden wailing. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Miss Shaw," she said, "I'm the happiest woman in the world, and I owe + my happiness to you. To-night you have converted my grandson. He's all I + have left, but he has been a wild boy, and I've prayed over him for years. + Hereafter he is going to lead a different life. He has just given me his + promise on his knees." + </p> + <p> + Her hand fumbled in her purse. + </p> + <p> + "I am a poor woman," she went on, "but I have enough, and I want to make + you a little present. I know how hard life is for you young students." + </p> + <p> + She pressed a bill into my fingers. "It's very little," she said, humbly; + "it is only five dollars." + </p> + <p> + I laughed, and in that exultant moment I seemed to hear life laughing with + me. With the passing of the bill from her hand to mine existence had + become a new experience, wonderful and beautiful. + </p> + <p> + "It's the biggest gift I have ever had," I told her. "This little bill is + big enough to carry my future on its back!" + </p> + <p> + I had a good meal that night, and I bought the shoes the next morning. + Infinitely more sustaining than the food, however, was the conviction that + the Lord was with me and had given me a sign of His approval. The + experience was the turning-point of my theological career. When the money + was gone I succeeded in obtaining more work from time to time—and + though the grind was still cruelly hard, I never again lost hope. The + theological school was on Bromfield Street, and we students climbed three + flights of stairs to reach our class-rooms. Through lack of proper food I + had become too weak to ascend these stairs without sitting down once or + twice to rest, and within a month after my experience with the + appreciative grandmother I was discovered during one of these resting + periods by Mrs. Barrett, the superintendent of the Woman's Foreign + Missionary Society, which had offices in our building. She stopped, looked + me over, and then invited me into her room, where she asked me if I felt + ill. I assured her that I did not. She asked a great many additional + questions and, little by little, under the womanly sympathy of them, my + reserve broke down and she finally got at the truth, which until that hour + I had succeeded in concealing. She let me leave without much comment, but + the next day she again invited me into her office and came directly to the + purpose of the interview. + </p> + <p> + "Miss Shaw," she said, "I have been talking to a friend of mine about you, + and she would like to make a bargain with you. She thinks you are working + too hard. She will pay you three dollars and a half a week for the rest of + this school year if you will promise to give up your preaching. She wants + you to rest, study, and take care of your health." + </p> + <p> + I asked the name of my unknown friend, but Mrs. Barrett said that was to + remain a secret. She had been given a check for seventy-eight dollars, and + from this, she explained, my allowance would be paid in weekly + instalments. I took the money very gratefully, and a few years later I + returned the amount to the Missionary Society; but I never learned the + identity of my benefactor. Her three dollars and a half a week, added to + the weekly two dollars I was allowed for room rent, at once solved the + problem of living; and now that meal-hours had a meaning in my life, my + health improved and my horizon brightened. I spent most of my evenings in + study, and my Sundays in the churches of Phillips Brooks and James Freeman + Clark, my favorite ministers. Also, I joined the university's praying-band + of students, and took part in the missionary-work among the women of the + streets. I had never forgotten my early friend in Lawrence, the beautiful + "mysterious lady" who had loved me as a child, and, in memory of her, I + set earnestly about the effort to help unfortunates of her class. I went + into the homes of these women, followed them to the streets and the + dance-halls, talked to them, prayed with them, and made friends among + them. Some of them I was able to help, but many were beyond help; and I + soon learned that the effective work in that field is the work which is + done for women before, not after, they have fallen. + </p> + <p> + During my vacation in the summer of 1876 I went to Cape Cod and earned my + expenses by substituting in local pulpits. Here, at East Dennis, I formed + the friendship which brought me at once the greatest happiness and the + deepest sorrow of that period of my life. My new friend was a widow whose + name was Persis Addy, and she was also the daughter of Captain Prince + Crowell, then the most prominent man in the Cape Cod community—a + bank president, a railroad director, and a citizen of wealth, as wealth + was rated in those days. When I returned to the theological school in the + autumn Mrs. Addy came to Boston with me, and from that time until her + death, two years later, we lived together. She was immensely interested in + my work, and the friendly part she took in it diverted her mind from the + bereavement over which she had brooded for years, while to me her coming + opened windows into a new world. I was no longer lonely; and though in my + life with her I paid my way to the extent of my small income, she gave me + my first experience of an existence in which comfort and culture, + recreation, and leisurely reading were cheerful commonplaces. For the + first time I had some one to come home to, some one to confide in, some + one to talk to, listen to, and love. We read together and went to concerts + together; and it was during this winter that I attended my first + theatrical performance. The star was Mary Anderson, in "Pygmalion and + Galatea," and play and player charmed me so utterly that I saw them every + night that week, sitting high in the gallery and enjoying to the utmost + the unfolding of this new delight. It was so glowing a pleasure that I + longed to make some return to the giver of it; but not until many years + afterward, when I met Madame Navarro in London, was I able to tell her + what the experience had been and to thank her for it. + </p> + <p> + I did not long enjoy the glimpses into my new world, for soon, and most + tragically, it was closed to me. In the spring following our first Boston + winter together Mrs. Addy and I went to Hingham, Massachusetts, where I + had been appointed temporary pastor of the Methodist Church. There Mrs. + Addy was taken ill, and as she grew steadily worse we returned to Boston + to live near the best available physicians, who for months theorized over + her malady without being able to diagnose it. At last her father, Captain + Crowell, sent to Paris for Dr. Brown-Sequard, then the most distinguished + specialist of his day, and Dr. Brown-Sequard, when he arrived and examined + his patient, discovered that she had a tumor on the brain. She had had a + great shock in her life—the tragic death of her husband at sea + during their wedding tour around the world—and it was believed that + her disease dated from that time. Nothing could be done for her, and she + failed daily during our second year together, and died in March, 1878, + just before I finished my theological course and while I was still + temporary pastor of the church at Hingham. Every moment I could take from + my parish and my studies I spent with her, and those were sorrowful + months. In her poor, tortured brain the idea formed that I, not she, was + the sick person in our family of two, and when we were at home together + she insisted that I must lie down and let her nurse me; then for hours she + brooded over me, trying to relieve the agony she believed I was + experiencing. When at last she was at peace her father and I took her home + to Cape Cod and laid her in the graveyard of the little church where we + had met at the beginning of our brief and beautiful friendship; and the + subsequent loneliness I felt was far greater than any I had ever suffered + in the past, for now I had learned the meaning of companionship. + </p> + <p> + Three months after Mrs. Addy's death I graduated. She had planned to take + me abroad, and during our first winter together we had spent countless + hours talking and dreaming of our European wanderings. When she found that + she must die she made her will and left me fifteen hundred dollars for the + visit to Europe, insisting that I must carry out the plan we had made; and + during her conscious periods she constantly talked of this and made me + promise that I would go. After her death it seemed to me that to go + without her was impossible. Everything of beauty I looked upon would hold + memories of her, keeping fresh my sorrow and emphasizing my loneliness; + but it was her last expressed desire that I should go, and I went. + </p> + <p> + First, however, I had graduated—clad in a brandnew black silk gown, + and with five dollars in my pocket, which I kept there during the + graduation exercises. I felt a special satisfaction in the possession of + that money, for, notwithstanding the handicap of being a woman, I was said + to be the only member of my class who had worked during the entire course, + graduated free from debt, and had a new outfit as well as a few dollars in + cash. + </p> + <p> + I graduated without any special honors. Possibly I might have won some if + I had made the effort, but my graduation year, as I have just explained, + had been very difficult. As it was, I was merely a good average student, + feeling my isolation as the only woman in my class, but certainly not + spurring on my men associates by the display of any brilliant gifts. + Naturally, I missed a great deal of class fellowship and class support, + and throughout my entire course I rarely entered my class-room without the + abysmal conviction that I was not really wanted there. But some of the men + were goodhumoredly cordial, and several of them are among my friends + to-day. Between myself and my family there still existed the breach I had + created when I began to preach. With the exception of Mary and James, my + people openly regarded me, during my theological course, as a dweller in + outer darkness, and even my mother's love was clouded by what she felt to + be my deliberate and persistent flouting of her wishes. + </p> + <p> + Toward the end of my university experience, however, an incident occurred + which apparently changed my mother's viewpoint. She was now living with my + sister Mary, in Big Rapids, Michigan, and, on the occasion of one of my + rare and brief visits to them I was invited to preach in the local church. + Here, for the first time, my mother heard me. Dutifully escorted by one of + my brothers, she attended church that morning in a state of shivering + nervousness. I do not know what she expected me to do or say, but toward + the end of the sermon it became clear that I had not justified her fears. + The look of intense apprehension left her eyes, her features relaxed into + placidity, and later in the day she paid me the highest compliment I had + yet received from a member of my family. + </p> + <p> + "I liked the sermon very much," she peacefully told my brother. "Anna + didn't say anything about hell, or about anything else!" + </p> + <p> + When we laughed at this handsome tribute, she hastened to qualify it. + </p> + <p> + "What I mean," she explained, "is that Anna didn't say anything + objectionable in the pulpit!" And with this recognition I was content. + </p> + <p> + Between the death of my friend and my departure for Europe I buried myself + in the work of the university and of my little church; and as if in answer + to the call of my need, Mary E. Livermore, who had given me the first + professional encouragement I had ever received, re-entered my life. Her + husband, like myself, was pastor of a church in Hingham, and whenever his + finances grew low, or there was need of a fund for some special purpose—conditions + that usually exist in a small church—his brilliant wife came to his + assistance and raised the money, while her husband retired modestly to the + background and regarded her with adoring eyes. On one of these occasions, + I remember, when she entered the pulpit to preach her sermon, she dropped + her bonnet and coat on an unoccupied chair. A little later there was need + of this chair, and Mr. Livermore, who sat under the pulpit, leaned + forward, picked up the garments, and, without the least trace of + selfconsciousness, held them in his lap throughout the sermon. One of the + members of the church, who appeared to be irritated by the incident, later + spoke of it to him and added, sardonically, "How does it feel to be merely + 'Mrs. Livermore's husband'?" + </p> + <p> + In reply Mr. Livermore flashed on him one of his charming smiles. "Why, + I'm very proud of it," he said, with the utmost cheerfulness. "You see, + I'm the only man in the world who has that distinction." + </p> + <p> + They were a charming couple, the Livermores, and they deserved far more + than they received from a world to which they gave so freely and so + richly. To me, as to others, they were more than kind; and I never recall + them without a deep feeling of gratitude and an equally deep sense of loss + in their passing. + </p> + <p> + It was during this period, also, that I met Frances E. Willard. There was + a great Moody revival in progress in Boston, and Miss Willard was the + righthand assistant of Mr. Moody. To her that revival must have been + marked with a star, for during it she met for the first time Miss Anna + Gordon, who became her life-long friend and her biographer. The meetings + also laid the foundation of our friendship, and for many years Miss + Willard and I were closely associated in work and affection. + </p> + <p> + On the second or third night of the revival, during one of the "mixed + meetings," attended by both women and men, Mr. Moody invited those who + were willing to talk to sinners to come to the front. I went down the + aisle with others, and found a seat near Miss Willard, to whom I was then + introduced by some one who knew us both. I wore my hair short in those + days, and I had a little fur cap on my head. Though I had been preaching + for several years, I looked absurdly young—far too young, it soon + became evident, to interest Mr. Moody. He was already moving about among + the men and women who had responded to his invitation, and one by one he + invited them to speak, passing me each time until at last I was left + alone. Then he took pity on me and came to my side to whisper kindly that + I had misunderstood his invitation. He did not want young girls to talk to + his people, he said, but mature women with worldly experience. He advised + me to go home to my mother, adding, to soften the blow, that some time in + the future when there were young girls at the meeting I could come and + talk to them. + </p> + <p> + I made no explanations to him, but started to leave, and Miss Willard, who + saw me departing, followed and stopped me. She asked why I was going, and + I told her that Mr. Moody had sent me home to grow. Frances Willard had a + keen sense of humor, and she enjoyed the joke so thoroughly that she + finally convinced me it was amusing, though at first the humor of it had + escaped me. She took me back to Mr. Moody and explained the situation to + him, and he apologized and put me to work. He said he had thought I was + about sixteen. After that I occasionally helped him in the intervals of my + other work. + </p> + <p> + The time had come to follow Mrs. Addy's wishes and go to Europe, and I + sailed in the month of June following my graduation, and traveled for + three months with a party of tourists under the direction of Eben Tourgee, + of the Boston Conservatory of Music. We landed in Glasgow, and from there + went to England, Belgium, Holland, Germany, France, and last of all to + Italy. Our company included many clergymen and a never-to-be-forgotten + widow whose light-hearted attitude toward the memory of her departed + spouse furnished the comedy of our first voyage. It became a pet diversion + to ask her if her husband still lived, for she always answered the + question in the same mournful words, and with the same manner of + irrepressible gaiety. + </p> + <p> + "Oh no!" she would chirp. "My dear departed has been in our Heavenly + Father's house for the past eight years!" + </p> + <p> + At its best, the vacation without my friend was tragically incomplete, and + only a few of its incidents stand out with clearness across the forty-six + years that have passed since then. One morning, I remember, I preached an + impromptu sermon in the Castle of Heidelberg before a large gathering; and + a little later, in Genoa, I preached a very different sermon to a wholly + different congregation. There was a gospel-ship in the harbor, and one + Saturday the pastor of it came ashore to ask if some American clergyman in + our party would preach on his ship the next morning. He was an old-time, + orthodox Presbyterian, and from the tips of his broad-soled shoes to the + severe part in the hair above his sanctimonious brow he looked the type. I + was not present when he called at our hotel, and my absence gave my + fellow-clergymen an opportunity to play a joke on the gentleman from the + gospel-ship. They assured him that "Dr. Shaw" would preach for him, and + the pastor returned to his post greatly pleased. When they told me of his + invitation, however, they did not add that they had neglected to tell him + Dr. Shaw was a woman, and I was greatly elated by the compliment I thought + had been paid me. + </p> + <p> + Our entire party of thirty went out to the gospelship the next morning, + and when the pastor came to meet us, lank and forbidding, his austere lips + vainly trying to curve into a smile of welcome, they introduced me to him + as the minister who was to deliver the sermon. He had just taken my hand; + he dropped it as if it had burned his own. For a moment he had no words to + meet the crisis. Then he stuttered something to the effect that the + situation was impossible that his men would not listen to a woman, that + they would mob her, that it would be blasphemous for a woman to preach. My + associates, who had so light-heartedly let me in for this unpleasant + experience, now realized that they must see me through it. They persuaded + him to allow me to preach the sermon. + </p> + <p> + With deep reluctance the pastor finally accepted me and the situation; but + when the moment came to introduce me, he devoted most of his time to + heartfelt apologies for my presence. He explained to the sailors that I + was a woman, and fervidly assured them that he himself was not responsible + for my appearance there. With every word he uttered he put a brick in the + wall he was building between me and the crew, until at last I felt that I + could never get past it. I was very unhappy, very lonely, very homesick; + and suddenly the thought came to me that these men, notwithstanding their + sullen eyes and forbidding faces, might be lonely and homesick, too. I + decided to talk to them as a woman and not as a minister, and I came down + from the pulpit and faced them on their own level, looking them over and + mentally selecting the hardest specimens of the lot as the special objects + of my appeal. One old fellow, who looked like a pirate with his red-rimmed + eyes, weather-beaten skin, and fimbriated face, grinned up at me in such + sardonic challenge that I walked directly in front of him and began to + speak. I said: + </p> + <p> + "My friends, I hope you will forget everything Dr. Blank has just said. It + is true that I am a minister, and that I came here to preach. But now I do + not intend to preach—only to have a friendly talk, on a text which + is not in the Bible. I am very far from home, and I feel as homesick as + some of you men look. So my text is, 'Blessed are the homesick, for they + shall go home.'" + </p> + <p> + In my summers at Cape Cod I had learned something about sailors. I knew + that in the inprepossessing congregation before me there were many boys + who had run away from home, and men who had left home because of family + troubles. I talked to the young men first, to those who had forgotten + their mothers and thought their mothers had forgotten them, and I told of + my experiences with waiting, heavy-hearted mothers who had sons at sea. + Some heads went down at that, and here and there I saw a boy gulp, but the + old fellow I was particularly anxious to move still grinned up at me like + a malicious monkey. Then I talked of the sailor's wife, and of her double + burden of homemaking and anxiety, and soon I could pick out some of the + husbands by their softened faces. But still my old man grinned and + squinted. Last of all I described the whalers who were absent from home + for years, and who came back to find their children and their + grandchildren waiting for them. I told how I had seen them, in our New + England coast towns, covered, as a ship is covered with barnacles, by + grandchildren who rode on their shoulders and sat astride of their necks + as they walked down the village streets. And now at last the sneer left my + old man's loose lips. He had grandchildren somewhere. He twisted uneasily + in his seat, coughed, and finally took out a big red handkerchief and + wiped his eyes. The episode encouraged me. + </p> + <p> + "When I came here," I added, "I intended to preach a sermon on 'The + Heavenly Vision.' Now I want to give you a glimpse of that in addition to + the vision we have had of home." + </p> + <p> + I ended with a bit of the sermon and a prayer, and when I raised my head + the old man of the sardonic grin was standing before me. + </p> + <p> + "Missus," he said in a husky whisper, "I'd like to shake your hand." + </p> + <p> + I took his hard old fist, and then, seeing that many of the other sailors + were beginning to move hospitably but shyly toward me, I said: + </p> + <p> + "I would like to shake hands with every man here." + </p> + <p> + At the words they surged forward, and the affair became a reception, + during which I shook hands with every sailor of my congregation. The next + day my hand was swollen out of shape, for the sailors had gripped it as if + they were hauling on a hawser; but the experience was worth the + discomfort. The best moment of the morning came, however, when the pastor + of the ship faced me, goggle-eyed and marveling. + </p> + <p> + "I wouldn't have believed it," was all he could say. "I thought the men + would mob you." + </p> + <p> + "Why should they mob me?" I wanted to know. + </p> + <p> + "Why," he stammered, "because the thing is so—so—unnatural." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I said, "if it is unnatural for women to talk to men, we have been + living in an unnatural world for a long time. Moreover, if it is + unnatural, why did Jesus send a woman out as the first preacher?" + </p> + <p> + He waived a discussion of that question by inviting us all to his cabin to + drink wine with him—and as we were "total abstainers," it seemed as + unnatural to us to have him offer us wine as a woman's preaching had + seemed to him. + </p> + <p> + The next European incident on which memory throws a high-light was our + audience with Pope Leo XIII. As there were several distinguished Americans + in our party, a private audience was arranged for us, and for days before + the time appointed we nervously rehearsed the etiquette of the occasion. + When we reached the Vatican we were marched between rows of Swiss Guards + to the Throne Room, only to learn there that we were to be received in the + Tapestry Room. Here we found a very impressive assemblage of cardinals and + Vatican officials, and while we were still lost in the beauty of the + picture they made against the room's superb background, the approach of + the Pope was announced. Every one immediately knelt, except a few persons + who tried to show their democracy by standing; but I am sure that even + these individuals felt a thrill when the slight, exquisite figure appeared + at the door and gave us a general benediction. Then the Pope passed slowly + down the line, offering his hand to each of us, and radiating a charm so + gracious and so human that few failed to respond to the appeal of his + engaging personality. There was nothing fleshly about Leo XIII. His body + was so frail, so wraithlike, that one almost expected to see through it + the magnificent tapestries on the walls. But from the moment he appeared + every eye clung to him, every thought was concentrated upon him. This + effect I think he would have produced even if he had come among us + unrecognized, for through the thin shell that housed it shone the steady + flame of a wonderful spirit. + </p> + <p> + I had previously remarked to my friends that kissing the Pope's ring after + so many other lips had touched it did not appeal to me as hygienic, and + that I intended to kiss his hand instead. When my opportunity came I kept + my word; but after I had kissed the venerable hand I remained kneeling for + an instant with bowed head, a little aghast at my daring. The gentle + Father thought, however, that I was waiting for a special blessing. He + gave it to me gravely and passed on, and I devoted the next few hours to + ungodly crowing over the associates who had received no such individual + attention. + </p> + <p> + In Venice we attended the great fete celebrating the first visit of King + Humbert and Queen Margherita. It was also the first time Venice had + entertained a queen since the Italian union, and the sea-queen of the + Adriatic outdid herself in the gorgeousness and the beauty of her + preparations. The Grand Canal was like a flowing rainbow, reflecting the + brilliant decorations on every side, and at night the moonlight, the + music, the chiming church-bells, the colored lanterns, the gay voices, the + lapping waters against the sides of countless gondolas made the experience + seem like a dream of a new and unbelievably beautiful world. Forty + thousand persons were gathered in the Square of St. Mark and in front of + the Palace, and I recall a pretty incident in which the gracious Queen and + a little street urchin figured. The small, ragged boy had crept as close + to the royal balcony as he dared, and then, unobserved, had climbed up one + of its pillars. At the moment when a sudden hush had fallen on the crowd + this infant, overcome by patriotism and a glimpse of the royal lady on the + balcony above him, suddenly piped up shrilly in the silence. "Long live + the Queen!" he cried. "Long live the Queen!" + </p> + <p> + The gracious Margherita heard the childish voice, and, amused and + interested, leaned over the balcony to see where it came from. What she + saw doubtless touched the mother-heart in her. She caught the eye of the + tattered urchin clinging to the pillar, and radiantly smiled on him. Then, + probably thinking that the King was absorbing the attention of the great + assemblage, she indulged in a little diversion. Leaning far forward, she + kissed the tip of her lace handkerchief and swept it caressingly across + the boy's brown cheek, smiling down at him as unconsciously as if she and + the enraptured youngster were alone together in the world. The next + instant she had straightened up and flushed, for the watchful crowd had + seen the episode and was wild with enthusiasm. For ten minutes the people + cheered the Queen without ceasing, and for the next few days they talked + of little but the spontaneous, girlish action which had delighted them + all. + </p> + <p> + One more sentimental record, and I shall have reached another mile-stone. + As I have said, my friend Mrs. Addy left me in her will fifteen hundred + dollars for my visit to Europe, and before I sailed her father, who was + one of the best friends I have ever had, made a characteristically kind + proposition in connection with the little fund. Instead of giving me the + money, he gave me two railroad bonds, one for one thousand dollars, the + other for five hundred dollars, and each drawing seven per cent. interest. + He suggested that I deposit these bonds in the bank of which he was + president, and borrow from the bank the money to go abroad. Then, when I + returned and went into my new parish, I could use some of my salary every + month toward repaying the loan. These monthly payments, he explained, + could be as small as I wished, but each month the interest on the amount I + paid would cease. I gladly took his advice and borrowed seven hundred + dollars. After I returned from Europe I repaid the loan in monthly + instalments, and eventually got my bonds, which I still own. They will + mature in 1916. I have had one hundred and five dollars a year from them, + in interest, ever since I received them in 1878—more than twice as + much interest as their face value—and every time I have gone abroad + I have used this interest toward paying my passage. Thus my friend has had + a share in each of the many visits I have made to Europe, and in all of + them her memory has been vividly with me. + </p> + <p> + With my return from Europe my real career as a minister began. The year in + the pulpit at Hingham had been merely tentative, and though I had + succeeded in building up the church membership to four times what it had + been when I took charge, I was not reappointed. I had paid off a small + church debt, and had had the building repaired, painted, and carpeted. Now + that it was out of its difficulties it offered some advantages to the + occupant of its pulpit, and of these my successor, a man, received the + benefit. I, however, had small ground for complaint, for I was at once + offered and accepted the pastorate of a church at East Dennis, Cape Cod. + Here I went in October, 1878, and here I spent seven of the most + interesting years of my life. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + V. SHEPHERD OF A DIVIDED FLOCK + </h2> + <p> + On my return from Europe, as I have said, I took up immediately and most + buoyantly the work of my new parish. My previous occupation of various + pulpits, whether long or short, had always been in the role of a + substitute. Now, for the first time, I had a church of my own, and was to + stand or fall by the record made in it. The ink was barely dry on my + diploma from the Boston Theological School, and, as it happened, the + little church to which I was called was in the hands of two warring + factions, whose battles furnished the most fervid interest of the Cape Cod + community. But my inexperience disturbed me not at all, and I was + blissfully ignorant of the division in the congregation. So I entered my + new field as trustfully as a child enters a garden; and though I was in + trouble from the beginning, and resigned three times in startling + succession, I ended by remaining seven years. + </p> + <p> + My appointment did not cause even a lull in the warfare among my + parishioners. Before I had crossed the threshold of my church I was made + to realize that I was shepherd of a divided flock. Exactly what had caused + the original breach I never learned; but it had widened with time, until + it seemed that no peacemaker could build a bridge large enough to span it. + As soon as I arrived in East Dennis each faction tried to pour into my + ears its bitter criticisms of the other, but I made and consistently + followed the safe rule of refusing to listen to either side, I announced + publicly that I would hear no verbal charges whatever, but that if my two + flocks would state their troubles in writing I would call a board meeting + to discuss and pass upon them. This they both resolutely refused to do (it + was apparently the first time they had ever agreed on any point); and as I + steadily declined to listen to complaints, they devised an original method + of putting them before me. + </p> + <p> + During the regular Thursday-night prayer-meeting, held about two weeks + after my arrival, and at which, of course, I presided, they voiced their + difficulties in public prayer, loudly and urgently calling upon the Lord + to pardon such and such a liar, mentioning the gentleman by name, and such + and such a slanderer, whose name was also submitted. By the time the + prayers were ended there were few untarnished reputations in the + congregation, and I knew, perforce, what both sides had to say. + </p> + <p> + The following Thursday night they did the same thing, filling their + prayers with intimate and surprising details of one another's history, and + I endured the situation solely because I did not know how to meet it. I + was still young, and my theological course had set no guide-posts on roads + as new as these. To interfere with souls in their communion with God + seemed impossible; to let them continue to utter personal attacks in + church, under cover of prayer, was equally impossible. Any course I could + follow seemed to lead away from my new parish, yet both duty and pride + made prompt action necessary. By the time we gathered for the third + prayermeeting I had decided what to do, and before the services began I + rose and addressed my erring children. I explained that the character of + the prayers at our recent meetings was making us the laughingstock of the + community, that unbelievers were ridiculing our religion, and that the + discipline of the church was being wrecked; and I ended with these words, + each of which I had carefully weighed: + </p> + <p> + "Now one of two things must happen. Either you will stop this kind of + praying, or you will remain away from our meetings. We will hold + prayermeetings on another night, and I shall refuse admission to any among + you who bring personal criticisms into your public prayers." + </p> + <p> + As I had expected it to do, the announcement created an immediate uproar. + Both factions sprang to their feet, trying to talk at once. The storm + raged until I dismissed the congregation, telling the members that their + conduct was an insult to the Lord, and that I would not listen to either + their protests or their prayers. They went unwillingly, but they went; and + the excitement the next day raised the sick from their beds to talk of it, + and swept the length and breadth of Cape Cod. The following Sunday the + little church held the largest attendance in its history. Seemingly, every + man and woman in town had come to hear what more I would say about the + trouble, but I ignored the whole matter. I preached the sermon I had + prepared, the subject of which was as remote from church quarrels as our + atmosphere was remote from peace, and my congregation dispersed with + expressions of such artless disappointment that it was all I could do to + preserve a dignified gravity. + </p> + <p> + That night, however, the war was brought into my camp. At the evening + meeting the leader of one of the factions rose to his feet with the + obvious purpose of starting trouble. He was a retired sea-captain, of the + ruthless type that knocks a man down with a belaying-pin, and he made his + attack on me in a characteristically "straight from the shoulder" fashion. + He began with the proposition that my morning sermon had been "entirely + contrary to the Scriptures," and for ten minutes he quoted and misquoted + me, hammering in his points. I let him go on without interruption. Then he + added: + </p> + <p> + "And this gal comes to this church and undertakes to tell us how we shall + pray. That's a highhanded measure, and I, for one, ain't goin' to stand + it. I want to say right here that I shall pray as I like, when I like, and + where I like. I have prayed in this heavenly way for fifty years before + that gal was born, and she can't dictate to me now!" + </p> + <p> + By this time the whole congregation was aroused, and cries of "Sit down!" + "Sit down!" came from every side of the church. It was a hard moment, but + I was able to rise with some show of dignity. I was hurt through and + through, but my fighting blood was stirring. + </p> + <p> + "No," I said, "Captain Sears has the floor. Let him say now all he wishes + to say, for it is the last time he will ever speak at one of our + meetings." + </p> + <p> + Captain Sears, whose exertions had already made him apoplectic, turned a + darker purple. "What's that?" he shouted. "What d'ye mean?" + </p> + <p> + "I mean," I replied, "that I do not intend to allow you or anybody else to + interfere with my meetings. You are a sea-captain. What would you do to me + if I came on board your ship and started a mutiny in your crew, or tried + to give you orders?" + </p> + <p> + Captain Sears did not reply. He stood still, with his legs far apart and + braced, as he always stood when talking, but his eyes shifted a little. I + answered my own question. + </p> + <p> + "You would put me ashore or in irons," I reminded him. "Now, Captain + Sears, I intend to put you ashore. I am the master of this ship. I have + set my course, and I mean to follow it. If you rebel, either you will get + out or I will. But until the board asks for my resignation, I am in + command." + </p> + <p> + As it happened, I had put my ultimatum in the one form the old man could + understand. He sat down without a word and stared at me. We sang the + Doxology, and I dismissed the meeting. Again we had omitted prayers. The + next day Captain Sears sent me a letter recalling his subscription toward + the support of the church; and for weeks he remained away from our + services, returning under conditions I will mention later. Even at the + time, however, his attack helped rather than hurt me. At the regular + meeting the following Thursday night no personal criticisms were included + in the prayers, and eventually we had peace. But many battles were lost + and won before that happy day arrived. + </p> + <p> + Captain Sears's vacant place among us was promptly taken by another + captain in East Dennis, whose name was also Sears. A few days after my + encounter with the first captain I met the second on the street. He had + never come to church, and I stopped and invited him to do so. He replied + with simple candor. + </p> + <p> + "I ain't comin'," he told me. "There ain't no gal that can teach me + nothin'." + </p> + <p> + "Perhaps you are wrong, Captain Sears," I replied. "I might teach you + something." + </p> + <p> + "What?" demanded the captain, with chilling distrust. + </p> + <p> + "Oh," I said, cheerfully, "let us say tolerance, for one thing." + </p> + <p> + "Humph!" muttered the old man. "The Lord don't want none of your + tolerance, and neither do I." + </p> + <p> + I laughed. "He doesn't object to tolerance," I said. "Come to church. You + can talk, too; and the Lord will listen to us both." + </p> + <p> + To my surprise, the captain came the following Sunday, and during the + seven years I remained in the church he was one of my strongest supporters + and friends. I needed friends, for my second battle was not slow in + following my first. There was, indeed, barely time between in which to + care for the wounded. + </p> + <p> + We had in East Dennis what was known as the "Free Religious Group," and + when some of the members of my congregation were not wrangling among + themselves, they were usually locking horns with this group. For years, I + was told, one of the prime diversions of the "Free Religious" faction was + to have a dance in our town hall on the night when we were using it for + our annual church fair. The rules of the church positively prohibited + dancing, so the worldly group took peculiar pleasure in attending the + fair, and during the evening in getting up a dance and whirling about + among us, to the horror of our members. Then they spent the remainder of + the year boasting of the achievement. It came to my ears that they had + decided to follow this pleasing programme at our Christmas church + celebration, so I called the church trustees together and put the + situation to them. + </p> + <p> + "We must either enforce our discipline," I said, "or give it up. + Personally I do not object to dancing, but, as the church has ruled + against it, I intend to uphold the church. To allow these people to make + us ridiculous year after year is impossible. Let us either tell them that + they may dance or that they may not dance; but whatever we tell them, let + us make them obey our ruling." + </p> + <p> + The trustees were shocked at the mere suggestion of letting them dance. + </p> + <p> + "Very well," I ended. "Then they shall not dance. That is understood." + </p> + <p> + Captain Crowell, the father of my dead friend Mrs. Addy, and himself my + best man friend, was a strong supporter of the Free Religious Group. When + its members raced to him with the news that I had said they could not + dance at the church's Christmas party, Captain Crowell laughed + goodhumoredly and told them to dance as much as they pleased, cheerfully + adding that he would get them out of any trouble they got into. Knowing my + friendship for him, and that I even owed my church appointment to him, the + Free Religious people were certain that I would never take issue with him + on dancing or on any other point. They made all their preparations for the + dance, therefore, with entire confidence, and boasted that the affair + would be the gayest they had ever arranged. My people began to look at me + with sympathy, and for a time I felt very sorry for myself. It seemed + sufficiently clear that "the gal" was to have more trouble. + </p> + <p> + On the night of the party things went badly from the first. There was an + evident intention among the worst of the Free Religious Group to embarrass + us at every turn. We opened the exercises with the Lord's Prayer, which + this element loudly applauded. A live kitten was hung high on the + Christmas tree, where it squalled mournfully beyond reach of rescue, and + the young men of the outside group threw cake at one another across the + hall. Finally tiring of these innocent diversions, they began to prepare + for their dance, and I protested. The spokesman of the group waved me to + one side. + </p> + <p> + "Captain Crowell said we could," he remarked, airily. + </p> + <p> + "Captain Crowell," I replied, "has no authority whatever in this matter. + The church trustees have decided that you cannot dance here, and I intend + to enforce their ruling." + </p> + <p> + It was interesting to observe how rapidly the men of my congregation + disappeared from that hall. Like shadows they crept along the walls and + vanished through the doors. But the preparations for the dance went + merrily on. I walked to the middle of the room and raised my voice. I was + always listened to, for my hearers always had the hope, usually realized, + that I was about to get into more trouble. + </p> + <p> + "You are determined to dance," I began. "I cannot keep you from doing so. + But I can and will make you regret that you have done so. The law of the + State of Massachusetts is very definite in regard to religious meetings + and religious gatherings. This hall was engaged and paid for by the + Wesleyan Methodist Church, of which I am pastor, and we have full control + of it to-night. Every man and woman who interrupts our exercises by + attempting to dance, or by creating a disturbance of any kind, will be + arrested to-morrow morning." + </p> + <p> + Surprise at first, then consternation, swept through the ranks of the Free + Religious Group. They denied the existence of such a law as I had + mentioned, and I promptly read it aloud to them. The leaders went off into + a corner and consulted. By this time not one man in my parish was left in + the hall. As a result of the consultation in the corner, a committee of + the would-be dancers came to me and suggested a compromise. + </p> + <p> + "Will you agree to arrest the men only?" they wanted to know. + </p> + <p> + "No," I declared. "On the contrary, I shall have the women arrested first! + For the women ought to be standing with me now in the support of law and + order, instead of siding with the hoodlum element you represent." + </p> + <p> + That settled it. No girl or woman dared to go on the dancing-floor, and no + man cared to revolve merrily by himself. A whisper went round, however, + that the dance would begin when I had left. When the clock struck twelve, + at which hour, according to the town rule, the hall had to be closed, I + was the last person to leave it. Then I locked the door myself, and + carried the key away with me. There had been no Free Religious dance that + night. + </p> + <p> + On the following Sunday morning the attendance at my church broke all + previous records. Every seat was occupied and every aisle was filled. Men + and women came from surrounding towns, and strange horses were tied to all + the fences in East Dennis. Every person in that church was looking for + excitement, and this time my congregation got what it expected. Before I + began my sermon I read my resignation, to take effect at the discretion of + the trustees. Then, as it was presumably my last chance to tell the people + and the place what I thought of them, I spent an hour and a half in + fervidly doing so. In my study of English I had acquired a fairly large + vocabulary. I think I used it all that morning—certainly I tried to. + If ever an erring congregation and community saw themselves as they really + were, mine did on that occasion. I was heartsick, discouraged, and full of + resentment and indignation, which until then had been pent up. Under the + arraignment my people writhed and squirmed. I ended: + </p> + <p> + "What I am saying hurts you, but in your hearts you know you deserve every + word of it. It is high time you saw yourselves as you are—a disgrace + to the religion you profess and to the community you live in." + </p> + <p> + I was not sure the congregation would let me finish, but it did. My + hearers seemed torn by conflicting sentiments, in which anger and + curiosity led opposing sides. Many of them left the church in a white + fury, but others—more than I had expected—remained to speak to + me and assure me of their sympathy. Once on the streets, different groups + formed and mingled, and all day the little town rocked with arguments for + and against "the gal." + </p> + <p> + Night brought another surprisingly large attendance. I expected more + trouble, and I faced it with difficulty, for I was very tired. Just as I + took my place in the pulpit, Captain Sears entered the church and walked + down the aisle—the Captain Sears who had left us at my invitation + some weeks before and had not since attended a church service. I was sure + he was there to make another attack on me while I was down, and, expecting + the worst, I wearily gave him his opportunity. The big old fellow stood + up, braced himself on legs far apart, as if he were standing on a slippery + deck during a high sea, and gave the congregation its biggest surprise of + the year. + </p> + <p> + He said he had come to make a confession. He had been angry with "the gal" + in the past, as they all knew. But he had heard about the sermon she had + preached that morning, and this time she was right. It was high time + quarreling and backbiting were stopped. They had been going on too long, + and no good could come of them. Moreover, in all the years he had been a + member of that congregation he had never until now seen the pulpit + occupied by a minister with enough backbone to uphold the discipline of + the church. "I've come here to say I'm with the gal," he ended. "Put me + down for my original subscription and ten dollars extra!" + </p> + <p> + So we had the old man back again. He was a tower of strength, and he stood + by me faithfully until he died. The trustees would not accept my + resignation (indeed, they refused to consider it at all), and the + congregation, when it had thought things over, apparently decided that + there might be worse things in the pulpit than "the gal." It was even + known to brag of what it called my "spunk," and perhaps it was this + quality, rather than any other, which I most needed in that particular + parish at that time. As for me, when the fight was over I dropped it from + my mind, and it had not entered my thoughts for years, until I began to + summon these memories. + </p> + <p> + At the end of my first six months in East Dennis I was asked to take on, + also, the temporary charge of the Congregational Church at Dennis, two + miles and a half away. I agreed to do this until a permanent pastor could + be found, on condition that I should preach at Dennis on Sunday + afternoons, using the same sermon I preached in my own pulpit in the + morning. The arrangement worked so well that it lasted for six and a half + years—until I resigned from my East Dennis church. During that + period, moreover, I not only carried the two churches on my shoulders, + holding three meetings each Sunday, but I entered upon and completed a + course in the Boston Medical School, winning my M.D. in 1885, and I also + lectured several times a month during the winter seasons. These were, + therefore, among the most strenuous as well as the most interesting years + of my existence, and I mention the strain of them only to prove my + life-long contention, that congenial work, no matter how much there is of + it, has never yet killed any one! + </p> + <p> + After my battle with the Free Religious Group things moved much more + smoothly in the parish. Captain Crowell, instead of resenting my defiance + of his ruling, helped to reconcile the divided factions in the church; and + though, as I have said, twice afterward I submitted my resignation, in + each case the fight I was making was for a cause which I firmly believed + in and eventually won. My second resignation was brought about by the + unwillingness of the church to have me exchange pulpits with the one + minister on Cape Cod broad-minded enough to invite me to preach in his + pulpit. I had done so, and had then sent him a return invitation. He was a + gentleman and a scholar, but he was also a Unitarian; and though my people + were willing to let me preach in his church, they were loath to let him + preach in mine. After a surprising amount of discussion my resignation put + a different aspect on the matter; it also led to the satisfactory ruling + that I could exchange pulpits not only with this minister, but with any + other in good standing in his own church. + </p> + <p> + My third resignation went before the trustees in consequence of my protest + from the pulpit against a small drinking and gambling saloon in East + Dennis; which was rapidly demoralizing our boys. Theoretically, only "soft + drinks" were sold, but the gambling was open, and the resort was + constantly filled with boys of all ages. There were influences back of + this place which tried to protect it, and its owner was very popular in + the town. After my first sermon I was waited upon by a committee, that + warmly advised me to "let East Dennis alone" and confine my criticisms "to + saloons in Boston and other big towns." As I had nothing to do with + Boston, and much to do with East Dennis, I preached on that place three + Sundays in succession, and feeling became so intense that I handed in my + resignation and prepared to depart. Then my friends rallied and the resort + was suppressed. + </p> + <p> + That was my last big struggle. During the remaining five years of my + pastorate on Cape Cod the relations between my people and myself were + wholly harmonious and beautiful. If I have seemed to dwell too much on + these small victories, it must be remembered that I find in them such + comfort as I can. I have not yet won the great and vital fight of my life, + to which I have given myself, heart and soul, for the past thirty years—the + campaign for woman suffrage. I have seen victories here and there, and + shall see more. But when the ultimate triumph comes—when American + women in every state cast their ballots as naturally as their husbands do—I + may not be in this world to rejoice over it. + </p> + <p> + It is interesting to remember that during the strenuous period of the + first few months in East Dennis, and notwithstanding the division in the + congregation, we women of the church got together and repainted and + refurnished the building, raising all the money and doing much of the work + ourselves, as the expense of having it done was prohibitive. We painted + the church, and even cut down and modernized the pulpit. The total cost of + material and furniture was not half so great as the original estimate had + indicated, and we had learned a valuable lesson. After this we spent very + little money for labor, but did our own cleaning, carpet-laying, and the + like; and our little church, if I may be allowed to say so, was a model of + neatness and good taste. + </p> + <p> + I have said that at the end of two years from the time of my appointment + the long-continued warfare in the church was ended. I was not immediately + allowed, however, to bask in an atmosphere of harmony, for in October, + 1880, the celebrated contest over my ordination took place at the + Methodist Protestant Conference in Tarrytown, New York; and for three days + I was a storm-center around which a large number of truly good and wholly + sincere men fought the fight of their religious lives. Many of them + strongly believed that women were out of place in the ministry. I did not + blame them for this conviction. But I was in the ministry, and I was + greatly handicapped by the fact that, although I was a licensed preacher + and a graduate of the Boston Theological School, I could not, until I had + been regularly ordained, meet all the functions of my office. I could + perform the marriage service, but I could not baptize. I could bury the + dead, but I could not take members into my church. That had to be done by + the presiding elder or by some other minister. I could not administer the + sacraments. So at the New England Spring Conference of the Methodist + Episcopal Church, held in Boston in 1880, I formally applied for + ordination. At the same time application was made by another woman—Miss + Anna Oliver—and as a preliminary step we were both examined by the + Conference board, and were formally reported by that board as fitted for + ordination. Our names were therefore presented at the Conference, over + which Bishop Andrews presided, and he immediately refused to accept them. + Miss Oliver and I were sitting together in the gallery of the church when + the bishop announced his decision, and, while it staggered us, it did not + really surprise us. We had been warned of this gentleman's deep-seated + prejudice against women in the ministry. + </p> + <p> + After the services were over Miss Oliver and I called on him and asked him + what we should do. He told us calmly that there was nothing for us to do + but to get out of the Church. We reminded him of our years of study and + probation, and that I had been for two years in charge of two churches. He + set his thin lips and replied that there was no place for women in the + ministry, and, as he then evidently considered the interview ended, we + left him with heavy hearts. While we were walking slowly away, Miss Oliver + confided to me that she did not intend to leave the Church. Instead, she + told me, she would stay in and fight the matter of her ordination to a + finish. I, however, felt differently. I had done considerable fighting + during the past two years, and my heart and soul were weary. I said: "I + shall get out, I am no better and no stronger than a man, and it is all a + man can do to fight the world, the flesh, and the devil, without fighting + his Church as well. I do not intend to fight my Church. But I am called to + preach the gospel; and if I cannot preach it in my own Church, I will + certainly preach it in some other Church!" + </p> + <p> + As if in response to this outburst, a young minister named Mark Trafton + soon called to see me. He had been present at our Conference, he had seen + my Church refuse to ordain me, and he had come to suggest that I apply for + ordination in his Church—the Methodist Protestant. To leave my + Church, even though urged to do so by its appointed spokesman, seemed a + radical step. Before taking this I appealed from the decision of the + Conference to the General Conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church, + which held its session that year in Cincinnati, Ohio. Miss Oliver also + appealed, and again we were both refused ordination, the General + Conference voting to sustain Bishop Andrews in his decision. Not content + with this achievement, the Conference even took a backward step. It + deprived us of the right to be licensed as local preachers. After this + blow I recalled with gratitude the Reverend Mark Trafton's excellent + advice, and I immediately applied for ordination in the Methodist + Protestant Church. My name was presented at the Conference held in + Tarrytown in October, 1880, and the fight was on. + </p> + <p> + During these Conferences it is customary for each candidate to retire + while the discussion of his individual fitness for ordination is in + progress. When my name came up I was asked, as my predecessors had been, + to leave the room for a few moments. I went into an anteroom and waited—a + half-hour, an hour, all afternoon, all evening, and still the battle + raged. I varied the monotony of sitting in the anteroom by strolls around + Tarrytown, and I think I learned to know its every stone and turn. The + next day passed in the same way. At last, late on Saturday night, it was + suddenly announced by my opponents that I was not even a member of the + Church in which I had applied for ordination. The statement created + consternation among my friends. None of us had thought of that! The bomb, + timed to explode at the very end of the session, threatened to destroy all + my hopes. Of course, my opponents had reasoned, it would be too late for + me to do anything, and my name would be dropped. + </p> + <p> + But it was not too late. Dr. Lyman Davis, the pastor of the Methodist + Protestant Church in Tarrytown, was very friendly toward me and my + ordination, and he proved his friendship in a singularly prompt and + efficient fashion. Late as it was, he immediately called together the + trustees of his church, and they responded. To them I made my application + for church membership, which they accepted within five minutes. I was now + a member of the Church, but it was too late to obtain any further action + from the Conference. The next day, Sunday, all the men who had applied for + ordination were ordained, and I was left out. + </p> + <p> + On Monday morning, however, when the Conference met in its final business + session, my case was reopened, and I was eventually called before the + members to answer questions. Some of these were extremely interesting, and + several of the episodes that occurred were very amusing. One old gentleman + I can see as I write. He was greatly excited, and he led the opposition by + racing up and down the aisles, quoting from the Scriptures to prove his + case against women ministers. As he ran about he had a trick of putting + his arms under the back of his coat, making his coat-tails stand out like + wings and incidentally revealing two long white tapestrings belonging to a + flannel undergarment. Even in the painful stress of those hours I observed + with interest how beautifully those tape-strings were ironed! + </p> + <p> + I was there to answer any questions that were asked of me, and the + questions came like hailstones in a sudden summer storm. + </p> + <p> + "Paul said, 'Wives, obey your husbands,'" shouted my old man of the + coat-tails. "Suppose your husband should refuse to allow you to preach? + What then?" + </p> + <p> + "In the first place," I answered, "Paul did not say so, according to the + Scriptures. But even if he did, it would not concern me, for I am a + spinster." + </p> + <p> + The old man looked me over. "You might marry some day," he predicted, + cautiously. + </p> + <p> + "Possibly," I admitted. "Wiser women than I am have married. But it is + equally possible that I might marry a man who would command me to preach; + and in that case I want to be all ready to obey him." + </p> + <p> + At this another man, a bachelor, also began to draw from the Scriptures. + "An elder," he quoted, "shall be the husband of one wife." And he + demanded, triumphantly, "How is it possible for you to be the husband of a + wife?" + </p> + <p> + In response to that I quoted a bit myself. "Paul said, 'Anathema unto him + who addeth to or taketh from the Scriptures,'" I reminded this gentleman; + and added that a twisted interpretation of the Scriptures was as bad as + adding to or taking from them, and that no one doubted that Paul was + warning the elders against polygamy. Then I went a bit further, for by + this time the absurd character of the questions was getting on my nerves. + </p> + <p> + "Even if my good brother's interpretation is correct," I said, "he has + overlooked two important points. Though he is an elder, he is also a + bachelor; so I am as much of a husband as he is!" + </p> + <p> + A good deal of that sort of thing went on. The most satisfactory episode + of the session, to me, was the downfall of three pert young men who in + turn tried to make it appear that as the duty of the Conference was to + provide churches for all its pastors, I might become a burden to the + Church if it proved impossible to provide a pastorate for me. At that, one + of my friends in the council rose to his feet. + </p> + <p> + "I have had official occasion to examine into the matter of Miss Shaw's + parish and salary," he said, "and I know what salaries the last three + speakers are drawing. It may interest the Conference to know that Miss + Shaw's present salary equals the combined salaries of the three young men + who are so afraid she will be a burden to the Church. If, before being + ordained, she can earn three times as much as they now earn after being + ordained, it seems fairly clear that they will never have to support her. + We can only hope that she will never have to support them." + </p> + <p> + The three young ministers subsided into their seats with painful + abruptness, and from that time my opponents were more careful in their + remarks. Still, many unpleasant things were said, and too much warmth was + shown by both sides. We gained ground through the day, however, and at the + end of the session the Conference, by a large majority, voted to ordain + me. + </p> + <p> + The ordination service was fixed for the following evening, and even the + gentlemen who had most vigorously opposed me were not averse to making the + occasion a profitable one. The contention had already enormously + advertised the Conference, and the members now helped the good work along + by sending forth widespread announcements of the result. They also decided + that, as the attendance at the service would be very large, they would + take up a collection for the support of superannuated ministers. The three + young men who had feared I would become a burden were especially active in + the matter of this collection; and, as they had no sense of humor, it did + not seem incongruous to them to use my ordination as a means of raising + money for men who had already become burdens to the Church. + </p> + <p> + When the great night came (on October 12, 1880), the expected crowd came + also. And to the credit of my opponents I must add that, having lost their + fight, they took their defeat in good part and gracefully assisted in the + services. Sitting in one of the front pews was Mrs. Stiles, the wife of + Dr. Stiles, who was superintendent of the Conference. She was a dear + little old lady of seventy, with a big, maternal heart; and when she saw + me rise to walk up the aisle alone, she immediately rose, too, came to my + side, offered me her arm, and led me to the altar. + </p> + <p> + The ordination service was very impressive and beautiful. Its peace and + dignity, following the battle that had raged for days, moved me so deeply + that I was nearly overcome. Indeed, I was on the verge of a breakdown when + I was mercifully saved by the clause in the discipline calling for the + pledge all ministers had to make—that I would not indulge in the use + of tobacco. When this vow fell from my lips a perceptible ripple ran over + the congregation. + </p> + <p> + I was homesick for my Cape Cod parish, and I returned to East Dennis + immediately after my ordination, arriving there on Saturday night. I knew + by the suppressed excitement of my friends that some surprise awaited me, + but I did not learn what it was until I entered my dear little church the + following morning. There I found the communion-table set forth with a + beautiful new communion-service. This had been purchased during my + absence, that I might dedicate it that day and for the first time + administer the sacrament to my people. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VI. CAPE COD MEMORIES + </h2> + <p> + Looking back now upon those days, I see my Cape Cod friends as clearly as + if the intervening years had been wiped out and we were again together. + Among those I most loved were two widely differing types—Captain + Doane, a retired sea-captain, and Relief Paine, an invalid chained to her + couch, but whose beautiful influence permeated the community like an + atmosphere. Captain Doane was one of the finest men I have ever known—highminded, + tolerant, sympathetic, and full of understanding, He was not only my + friend, but my church barometer. He occupied a front pew, close to the + pulpit; and when I was preaching without making much appeal he sat looking + me straight in the face, listening courteously, but without interest. When + I got into my subject, he would lean forward—the angle at which he + sat indicating the degree of attention I had aroused—and when I was + strongly holding my congregation Brother Doane would bend toward me, + following every word I uttered with corresponding motions of his lips. + When I resigned we parted with deep regret, but it was not until I visited + the church several years afterward that he overcame his reserve enough to + tell me how much he had felt my going. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, did you?" I asked, greatly touched. "You're not saying that merely to + please me?" + </p> + <p> + The old man's hand fell on my shoulder. "I miss you," he said, simply. "I + miss you all the time. You see, I love you." Then, with precipitate + selfconsciousness, he closed the door of his New England heart, and from + some remote corner of it sent out his cautious after-thought. "I love + you," he repeated, primly, "as a sister in the Lord." + </p> + <p> + Relief Paine lived in Brewster. Her name seemed prophetic, and she once + told me that she had always considered it so. Her brother-in-law was my + Sunday-school superintendent, and her family belonged to my church. Very + soon after my arrival in East Dennis I went to see her, and found her, as + she always was, dressed in white and lying on a tiny white bed covered + with pansies, in a room whose windows overlooked the sea. I shall never + forget the picture she made. Over her shoulders was an exquisite white + lace shawl brought from the other side of the world by some seafaring + friend, and against her white pillow her hair seemed the blackest I had + ever seen. When I entered she turned and looked toward me with wonderful + dark eyes that were quite blind, and as she talked her hands played with + the pansies around her. She loved pansies as she loved few human beings, + and she knew their colors by touching them. She was then a little more + than thirty years of age. At sixteen she had fallen downstairs in the + dark, receiving an injury that paralyzed her, and for fifteen years she + had lain on one side, perfectly still, the Stella Maris of the Cape. All + who came to her, and they were many, went away the better for the visit, + and the mere mention of her name along the coast softened eyes that had + looked too bitterly on life. + </p> + <p> + Relief and I became close friends. I was greatly drawn to her, and deeply + moved by the tragedy of her situation, as well as by the beautiful spirit + with which she bore it. During my first visit I regaled her with stories + of the community and of my own experiences, and when I was leaving it + occurred to me that possibly I had been rather frivolous. So I said: + </p> + <p> + "I am coming to see you often, and when I come I want to do whatever will + interest you most. Shall I bring some books and read to you?" + </p> + <p> + Relief smiled—the gay, mischievous little smile I was soon to know + so well, but which at first seemed out of place on the tragic mask of her + face. + </p> + <p> + "No, don't read to me," she decided. "There are enough ready to do that. + Talk to me. Tell me about our life and our people here, as they strike + you." And she added, slowly: "You are a queer minister. You have not + offered to pray with me!" + </p> + <p> + "I feel," I told her, "more like asking you to pray for me." + </p> + <p> + Relief continued her analysis. "You have not told me that my affliction + was a visitation from God," she added; "that it was discipline and well + for me I had it." + </p> + <p> + "I don't believe it was from God," I said. "I don't believe God had + anything to do with it. And I rejoice that you have not let it wreck your + life." + </p> + <p> + She pressed my hand. "Thank you for saying that," she murmured. "If I + thought God did it I could not love Him, and if I did not love Him I could + not live. Please come and see me VERY often—and tell me stories!" + </p> + <p> + After that I collected stories for Relief. One of those which most amused + her, I remember, was about my horse, and this encourages me to repeat it + here. In my life in East Dennis I did not occupy the lonely little + parsonage connected with my church, but instead boarded with a friend—a + widow named Crowell. (There seemed only two names in Cape Cod: Sears and + Crowell.) To keep in touch with my two churches, which were almost three + miles apart, it became necessary to have a horse. As Mrs. Crowell needed + one, too, we decided to buy the animal in partnership, and Miss Crowell, + the daughter of the widow, who knew no more about horses than I did, + undertook to lend me the support of her presence and advice during the + purchase. We did not care to have the entire community take a passionate + interest in the matter, as it would certainly have done if it had heard of + our intention; so my friend and I departed somewhat stealthily for a + neighboring town, where, we had heard, a very good horse was offered for + sale. We saw the animal and liked it; but before closing the bargain we + cannily asked the owner if the horse was perfectly sound, and if it was + gentle with women. He assured us that it was both sound and gentle with + women, and to prove the latter point he had his wife harness it to the + buggy and drive it around the stable-yard. The animal behaved beautifully. + After it had gone through its paces, Miss Crowell and I leaned confidingly + against its side, patting it and praising its beauty, and the horse seemed + to enjoy our attentions. We bought it then and there, drove it home, and + put it in our barn; and the next morning we hired a man in the + neighborhood to come over and take care of it. + </p> + <p> + He arrived. Five minutes later a frightful racket broke out in the barn—sounds + of stamping, kicking, and plunging, mingled with loud shouts. We ran to + the scene of the trouble, and found our "hired man" rushing breathlessly + toward the house. When he was able to speak he informed us that we had "a + devil in there," pointing back to the barn, and that the new horse's legs + were in the air, all four of them at once, the minute he went near her. We + insisted that he must have frightened or hurt her, but, solemnly and with + anxious looks behind, he protested that he had not. Finally Miss Crowell + and I went into the barn, and received a dignified welcome from the new + horse, which seemed pleased by our visit. Together we harnessed her and, + without the least difficulty, drove her out into the yard. As soon as our + man took the reins, however, she reared, kicked, and smashed our brand-new + buggy. We changed the man and had the buggy repaired, but by the end of + the week the animal had smashed the buggy again. Then, with some natural + resentment, we made a second visit to the man from whom we had bought her, + and asked him why he had sold us such a horse. + </p> + <p> + He said he had told us the exact truth. The horse WAS sound and she WAS + extremely gentle with women, but—and this point he had seen no + reason to mention, as we had not asked about it—she would not let a + man come near her. He firmly refused to take her back, and we had to make + the best of the bargain. As it was impossible to take care of her + ourselves, I gave some thought to the problem she presented, and finally + devised a plan which worked very well. I hired a neighbor who was a small, + slight man to take care of her, and made him wear his wife's sunbonnet and + waterproof cloak whenever he approached the horse. The picture he + presented in these garments still stands out pleasantly against the + background of my Cape Cod memories. The horse, however, did not share our + appreciation of it. She was suspicious, and for a time she shied whenever + the man and his sunbonnet and cloak appeared; but we stood by until she + grew accustomed to them and him; and as he was both patient and gentle, + she finally allowed him to harness and unharness her. But no man could + drive her, and when I drove to church I was forced to hitch and unhitch + her myself. No one else could do it, though many a gallant and + subsequently resentful man attempted the feat. + </p> + <p> + On one occasion a man I greatly disliked, and who I had reason to know + disliked me, insisted that he could unhitch her, and started to do so, + notwithstanding my protests and explanations. At his approach she rose on + her hind-legs, and when he grasped her bridle she lifted him off his feet. + His expression as he hung in mid-air was an extraordinary mixture of + surprise and regret. The moment I touched her, however, she quieted down, + and when I got into the buggy and gathered up the reins she walked off + like a lamb, leaving the man staring after her with his eyes starting from + his head. + </p> + <p> + The previous owner had called the horse Daisy, and we never changed the + name, though it always seemed sadly inappropriate. Time proved, however, + that there were advantages in the ownership of Daisy. No man would allow + his wife or daughter to drive behind her, and no one wanted to borrow her. + If she had been a different kind of animal she would have been used by the + whole community, We kept Daisy for seven years, and our acquaintance + ripened into a pleasant friendship. + </p> + <p> + Another Cape Cod resident to whose memory I must offer tribute in these + pages was Polly Ann Sears—one of the dearest and best of my + parishioners. She had six sons, and when five had gone to sea she insisted + that the sixth must remain at home. In vain the boy begged her to let him + follow his brothers. She stood firm. The sea, she said, should not swallow + all her boys; she had given it five—she must keep one. + </p> + <p> + As it happened, the son she kept at home was the only one who was drowned. + He was caught in a fish-net and dragged under the waters of the bay near + his home; and when I went to see his mother to offer such comfort as I + could, she showed that she had learned the big lesson of the experience. + </p> + <p> + "I tried to be a special Providence," she moaned, "and the one boy I kept + home was the only boy I lost. I ain't a-goin' to be a Providence no more." + </p> + <p> + The number of funerals on Cape Cod was tragically large. I was in great + demand on these occasions, and went all over the Cape, conducting funeral + services—which seemed to be the one thing people thought I could do—and + preaching funeral sermons. Besides the victims of the sea, many of the + residents who had drifted away were brought back to sleep their last sleep + within sound of the waves. Once I asked an old sea-captain why so many + Cape Cod men and women who had been gone for years asked to be buried near + their old homes, and his reply still lingers in my memory. He poked his + toe in the sand for a moment and then said, slowly: + </p> + <p> + "Wal, I reckon it's because the Cape has such warm, comfortable sand to + lie down in." + </p> + <p> + My friend Mrs. Addy lay in the Crowell family lot, and during my pastorate + at East Dennis I preached the funeral sermon of her father, and later of + her mother. Long after I had left Cape Cod I was frequently called back to + say the last words over the coffins of my old friends, and the saddest of + those journeys was the one I made in response to a telegram from the + mother of Relief Paine. When I had arrived and we stood together beside + the exquisite figure that seemed hardly more quiet in death than in life, + Mrs. Paine voiced in her few words the feeling of the whole community—"Where + shall we get our comfort and our inspiration, now that Relief is gone?" + </p> + <p> + The funeral which took all my courage from me, however, was that of my + sister Mary. In its suddenness, Mary's death, in 1883, was as a + thunderbolt from the blue; for she had been in perfect health three days + before she passed away. I was still in charge of my two parishes in Cape + Cod, but, as it mercifully happened, before she was stricken I had started + West to visit Mary in her home at Big Rapids. When I arrived on the second + day of her illness, knowing nothing of it until I reached her, I found her + already past hope. Her disease was pneumonia, but she was conscious to the + end, and her greatest desire seemed to be to see me christen her little + daughter and her husband before she left them. This could not be realized, + for my brotherin-law was absent on business, and with all his haste in + returning did not reach his wife's side until after her death. As his one + thought then was to carry out her last wishes, I christened him and his + little girl just before the funeral; and during the ceremony we all + experienced a deep conviction that Mary knew and was content. + </p> + <p> + She had become a power in her community, and was so dearly loved that on + the day her body was borne to its last resting-place all the business + houses in Big Rapids were closed, and the streets were filled with men who + stood with bent, uncovered heads as the funeral procession went by. My + father and mother, also, to whom she had given a home after they left the + log-cabin where they had lived so long, had made many friends in their new + environment and were affectionately known throughout the whole region as + "Grandma and Grandpa Shaw." + </p> + <p> + When I returned to East Dennis I brought my mother and Mary's three + children with me, and they remained throughout the spring and summer. I + had hoped that they would remain permanently, and had rented and furnished + a home for them with that end in view; but, though they enjoyed their + visit, the prospect of the bleak winters of Cape Cod disturbed my mother, + and they all returned to Big Rapids late in the autumn. Since entering + upon my parish work it had been possible for me to help my father and + mother financially; and from the time of Mary's death I had the privilege, + a very precious one, of seeing that they were well cared for and + contented. They were always appreciative, and as time passed they became + more reconciled to the career I had chosen, and which in former days had + filled them with such dire forebodings. + </p> + <p> + After I had been in East Dennis four years I began to feel that I was + getting into a rut. It seemed to me that all I could do in that particular + field had been done. My people wished me to remain, however, and so, + partly as an outlet for my surplus energy, but more especially because I + realized the splendid work women could do as physicians, I began to study + medicine. The trustees gave me permission to go to Boston on certain days + of each week, and we soon found that I could carry on my work as a medical + student without in the least neglecting my duty toward my parish. + </p> + <p> + I entered the Boston Medical School in 1882, and obtained my diploma as a + full-fledged physician in 1885. During this period I also began to lecture + for the Massachusetts Woman Suffrage Association, of which Lucy Stone was + president. Henry Blackwell was associated with her, and together they + developed in me a vital interest in the suffrage cause, which grew + steadily from that time until it became the dominating influence in my + life. I preached it in the pulpit, talked it to those I met outside of the + church, lectured on it whenever I had an opportunity, and carried it into + my medical work in the Boston slums when I was trying my prentice hand on + helpless pauper patients. + </p> + <p> + Here again, in my association with the women of the streets, I realized + the limitations of my work in the ministry and in medicine. As minister to + soul and body one could do little for these women. For such as them, one's + efforts must begin at the very foundation of the social structure. Laws + for them must be made and enforced, and some of those laws could only be + made and enforced by women. So many great avenues of life were opening up + before me that my Cape Cod environment seemed almost a prison where I was + held with tender force. I loved my people and they loved me—but the + big outer world was calling, and I could not close my ears to its summons. + The suffrage lectures helped to keep me contented, however, and I was + certainly busy enough to find happiness in my work. + </p> + <p> + I was in Boston three nights a week, and during these nights subject to + sick calls at any hour. My favorite associates were Dr. Caroline Hastings, + our professor of anatomy, and little Dr. Mary Safford, a mite of a woman + with an indomitable soul. Dr. Safford was especially prominent in + philanthropic work in Massachusetts, and it was said of her that at any + hour of the day or night she could be found working in the slums of + Boston. I, too, could frequently be found there—often, no doubt, to + the disadvantage of my patients. I was quite famous in three Boston alleys—Maiden's + Lane, Fellows Court, and Andrews Court. It most fortunately happened that + I did not lose a case in those alleys, though I took all kinds, as I had + to treat a certain number of surgical and obstetrical cases in my course. + No doubt my patients and I had many narrow escapes of which we were + blissfully ignorant, but I remember two which for a long time afterward + continued to be features of my most troubled dreams. + </p> + <p> + The first was that of a big Irishman who had pneumonia. When I looked him + over I was as much frightened as he was. I had got as far as pneumonia in + my course, and I realized that here was a bad case of it. I knew what to + do. The patient must be carefully packed in towels wrung out of cold + water. When I called for towels I found that there was nothing in the + place but a dish-towel, which I washed with portentous gravity. The man + owned but one shirt, and, in deference to my visit, his wife had removed + that to wash it. I packed the patient in the dish-towel, wrapped him in a + piece of an old shawl, and left after instructing his wife to repeat the + process. When I reached home I remembered that the patient must be packed + "carefully," and I knew that his wife would do it carelessly. That meant + great risk to the man's life. My impulse was to rush back to him at once, + but this would never do. It would destroy all confidence in the doctor. I + walked the floor for three hours, and then casually strolled in upon my + patient, finding him, to my great relief, better than I had left him. As I + was leaving, a child rushed into the room, begging me to come to an upper + floor in the same building. + </p> + <p> + "The baby's got the croup," she gasped, "an' he's chokin' to death." + </p> + <p> + We had not reached croup in our course, and I had no idea what to do, but + I valiantly accompanied the little girl. As we climbed the long flights of + stairs to the top floor I remembered a conversation I had overheard + between two medical students. One of them had said: "If the child is + strangling when it inhales, as if it were breathing through a sponge, then + give it spongia; but if it is strangling when it breathes out, give it + aconite." + </p> + <p> + When I reached the baby I listened, but could not tell which way it was + strangling. However, I happened to have both medicines with me, so I + called for two glasses and mixed the two remedies, each in its own glass. + I gave them both to the mother, and told her to use them alternately, + every fifteen minutes, until the baby was better. The baby got well; but + whether its recovery was due to the spongia or to the aconite I never + knew. + </p> + <p> + In my senior year I fell in love with an infant of three, named Patsy. He + was one of nine children when I was called to deliver his mother of her + tenth child. She was drunk when I reached her, and so were two men who lay + on the floor in the same room. I had them carried out, and after the + mother and baby had been attended to I noticed Patsy. He was the most + beautiful child I had ever seen—with eyes like Italian skies and + yellow hair in tight curls over his adorable little head; but he was + covered with filthy rags. I borrowed him, took him home with me, and fed + and bathed him, and the next day fitted him out with new clothes. Every + hour I had him tightened his hold on my heart-strings. I went to his + mother and begged her to let me keep him, but she refused, and after a + great deal of argument and entreaty I had to return him to her. When I + went to see him a few days later I found him again in his horrible rags. + His mother had pawned his new clothes for drink, and she was deeply under + its influence. But no pressure I could exert then or later would make her + part with Patsy. Finally, for my own peace of mind, I had to give up hope + of getting him—but I have never ceased to regret the little adopted + son I might have had. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VII. THE GREAT CAUSE + </h2> + <p> + There is a theory that every seven years each human being undergoes a + complete physical reconstruction, with corresponding changes in his mental + and spiritual make-up. Possibly it was due to this reconstruction that, at + the end of seven years on Cape Cod, my soul sent forth a sudden call to + arms. I was, it reminded me, taking life too easily; I was in danger of + settling into an agreeable routine. The work of my two churches made + little drain on my superabundant vitality, and not even the winning of a + medical degree and the increasing demands of my activities on the lecture + platform wholly eased my conscience. I was happy, for I loved my people + and they seemed to love me. It would have been pleasant to go on almost + indefinitely, living the life of a country minister and telling myself + that what I could give to my flock made such a life worth while. + </p> + <p> + But all the time, deep in my heart, I realized the needs of the outside + world, and heard its prayer for workers. My theological and medical + courses in Boston, with the experiences that accompanied them, had greatly + widened my horizon. Moreover, at my invitation, many of the noble women of + the day were coming to East Dennis to lecture, bringing with them the + stirring atmosphere of the conflicts they were waging. One of the first of + these was my friend Mary A. Livermore; and after her came Julia Ward Howe, + Anna Garlin Spencer, Lucy Stone, Mary F. Eastman, and many others, each + charged with inspiration for my people and with a special message for me, + which she sent forth unknowingly and which I alone heard. They were + fighting great battles, these women—for suffrage, for temperance, + for social purity—and in every word they uttered I heard a + rallying-cry. So it was that, in 1885, I suddenly pulled myself up to a + radical decision and sent my resignation to the trustees of the two + churches whose pastor I had been since 1878. + </p> + <p> + The action caused a demonstration of regret which made it hard to keep to + my resolution and leave these men and women whose friendship was among the + dearest of my possessions. But when we had all talked things over, many of + them saw the situation as I did. No doubt there were those, too, who felt + that a change of ministry would be good for the churches. During the weeks + that followed my resignation I received many odd tributes, and of these + one of the most amusing came from a young girl in the parish, who broke + into loud protests when she heard that I was going away. To comfort her I + predicted that she would now have a man minister—doubtless a very + nice man. But the young person continued to sniffle disconsolately. + </p> + <p> + "I don't want a man," she wailed. "I don't like to see men in pulpits. + They look so awkward." Her grief culminated in a final outburst. "They're + all arms and legs!" she sobbed. + </p> + <p> + When my resignation was finally accepted, and the time of my departure + drew near, the men of the community spent much of their leisure in + discussing it and me. The social center of East Dennis was a certain + grocery, to which almost every man in town regularly wended his way, and + from which all the gossip of the town emanated. Here the men sat for + hours, tilted back in their chairs, whittling the rungs until they nearly + cut the chairs from under them, and telling one another all they knew or + had heard about their fellow-townsmen. Then, after each session, they + would return home and repeat the gossip to their wives. I used to say that + I would give a dollar to any woman in East Dennis who could quote a bit of + gossip which did not come from the men at that grocery. Even my old friend + Captain Doane, fine and high-minded citizen though he was, was not above + enjoying the mild diversion of these social gatherings, and on one + occasion at least he furnished the best part of the entertainment. The + departing minister was, it seemed, the topic of the day's discussion, and, + to tease Captain Doane one young man who knew the strength of his + friendship for me suddenly began to speak, then pursed up his lips and + looked eloquently mysterious. As he had expected, Captain Doane + immediately pounced on him. + </p> + <p> + "What's the matter with you?" demanded the old man. "Hev you got anything + agin Miss Shaw?" + </p> + <p> + The young man sighed and murmured that if he wished he could repeat a + charge never before made against a Cape Cod minister, but—and he + shut his lips more obviously. The other men, who were in the plot, + grinned, and this added the last touch to Captain Doane's indignation. He + sprang to his feet. One of his peculiarities was a constant misuse of + words, and now, in his excitement, he outdid himself. + </p> + <p> + "You've made an incineration against Miss Shaw," he shouted. "Do you hear—AN + INCINERATION! Take it back or take a lickin'!" + </p> + <p> + The young man decided that the joke had gone far enough, so he answered, + mildly: "Well, it is said that all the women in town are in love with Miss + Shaw. Has that been charged against any other minister here?" + </p> + <p> + The men roared with laughter, and Captain Doane sat down, looking + sheepish. + </p> + <p> + "All I got to say is this," he muttered: "That gal has been in this + community for seven years, and she 'ain't done a thing during the hull + seven years that any one kin lay a finger on!" + </p> + <p> + The men shouted again at this back-handed tribute, and the old fellow left + the grocery in a huff. Later I was told of the "incineration" and his + eloquent defense of me, and I thanked him for it. But I added: + </p> + <p> + "I hear you said I haven't done a thing in seven years that any one can + lay a finger on?" + </p> + <p> + "I said it," declared the Captain, "and I'll stand by it." + </p> + <p> + "Haven't I done any good?" I asked. + </p> + <p> + "Sartin you have," he assured me, heartily. "Lots of good." + </p> + <p> + "Well," I said, "can't you put your finger on that?" + </p> + <p> + The Captain looked startled. "Why—why—Sister Shaw," he + stammered, "you know I didn't mean THAT! What I meant," he repeated, + slowly and solemnly, "was that the hull time you been here you ain't done + nothin' anybody could put a finger on!" + </p> + <p> + Captain Doane apparently shared my girl parishioner's prejudice against + men in the pulpit, for long afterward, on one of my visits to Cape Cod, he + admitted that he now went to church very rarely. + </p> + <p> + "When I heard you preach," he explained, "I gen'ally followed you through + and I knowed where you was a-comin' out. But these young fellers that come + from the theological school—why, Sister Shaw, the Lord Himself don't + know where they're comin' out!" + </p> + <p> + For a moment he pondered. Then he uttered a valedictory which I have + always been glad to recall as his last message, for I never saw him again. + </p> + <p> + "When you fust come to us," he said, "you had a lot of crooked places, an' + we had a lot of crooked places; and we kind of run into each other, all of + us. But before you left, Sister Shaw, why, all the crooked places was wore + off and everything was as smooth as silk." + </p> + <p> + "Yes," I agreed, "and that was the time to leave—when everything was + running smoothly." + </p> + <p> + All is changed on Cape Cod since those days, thirty years ago. The old + families have died or moved away, and those who replaced them were of a + different type. I am happy in having known and loved the Cape as it was, + and in having gathered there a store of delightful memories. In later + strenuous years it has rested me merely to think of the place, and long + afterward I showed my continued love of it by building a home there, which + I still possess. But I had little time to rest in this or in my Moylan + home, of which I shall write later, for now I was back in Boston, living + my new life, and each crowded hour brought me more to do. + </p> + <p> + We were entering upon a deeply significant period. For the first time + women were going into industrial competition with men, and already men + were intensely resenting their presence. Around me I saw women overworked + and underpaid, doing men's work at half men's wages, not because their + work was inferior, but because they were women. Again, too, I studied the + obtrusive problems of the poor and of the women of the streets; and, + looking at the whole social situation from every angle, I could find but + one solution for women—the removal of the stigma of + disfranchisement. As man's equal before the law, woman could demand her + rights, asking favors from no one. With all my heart I joined in the + crusade of the men and women who were fighting for her. My real work had + begun. + </p> + <p> + Naturally, at this period, I frequently met the members of Boston's most + inspiring group—the Emersons and John Greenleaf Whittier, James + Freeman Clark, Reverend Minot Savage, Bronson Alcott and his daughter + Louisa, Wendell Phillips, William Lloyd Garrison, Stephen Foster, Theodore + Weld, and the rest. Of them all, my favorite was Whittier. He had been + present at my graduation from the theological school, and now he often + attended our suffrage meetings. He was already an old man, nearing the end + of his life; and I recall him as singularly tall and thin, almost gaunt, + bending forward as he talked, and wearing an expression of great serenity + and benignity. I once told Susan B. Anthony that if I needed help in a + crowd of strangers that included her, I would immediately turn to her, + knowing from her face that, whatever I had done, she would understand and + assist me. I could have offered the same tribute to Whittier. At our + meetings he was like a vesper-bell chiming above a battle-field. Garrison + always became excited during our discussions, and the others frequently + did; but Whittier, in whose big heart the love of his fellow-man burned as + unquenchably as in any heart there, always preserved his exquisite + tranquillity. + </p> + <p> + Once, I remember, Stephen Foster insisted on having the word "tyranny" put + into a resolution, stating that women were deprived of suffrage by the + TYRANNY of men. Mr. Garrison objected, and the debate that followed was + the most exciting I have ever heard. The combatants actually had to + adjourn before they could calm down sufficiently to go on with their + meeting. Knowing the stimulating atmosphere to which he had grown + accustomed, I was not surprised to have Theodore Weld explain to me; long + afterward, why he no longer attended suffrage meetings. + </p> + <p> + "Oh," he said, "why should I go? There hasn't been any one mobbed in + twenty years!" + </p> + <p> + The Ralph Waldo Emersons occasionally attended our meetings, and Mr. + Emerson, at first opposed to woman suffrage, became a convert to it during + the last years of his life—a fact his son and daughter omitted to + mention in his biography. After his death I gave two suffrage lectures in + Concord, and each time Mrs. Emerson paid for the hall. At these lectures + Louisa M. Alcott graced the assembly with her splendid, wholesome + presence, and on both occasions she was surrounded by a group of boys. She + frankly cared much more for boys than for girls, and boys inevitably + gravitated to her whenever she entered a place where they were. When women + were given school suffrage in Massachusetts, Miss Alcott was the first + woman to vote in Concord, and she went to the polls accompanied by a group + of her boys, all ardently "for the Cause." My general impression of her + was that of a fresh breeze blowing over wide moors. She was as different + as possible from exquisite little Mrs. Emerson, who, in her daintiness and + quiet charm, suggested an old New England garden. + </p> + <p> + Of Abby May and Edna Cheney I retain a general impression of "bagginess"—of + loose jackets over loose waistbands, of escaping locks of hair, of bodies + seemingly one size from the neck down. Both women were utterly indifferent + to the details of their appearance, but they were splendid workers and + leading spirits in the New England Woman's Club. It was said to be the + trouble between Abby May and Kate Gannett Wells, both of whom stood for + the presidency of the club, that led to the beginning of the anti-suffrage + movement in Boston. Abby May was elected president, and all the + suffragists voted for her. Subsequently Kate Gannett Wells began her + anti-suffrage campaign. Mrs. Wells was the first anti-suffragist I ever + knew in this country. Before her there had been Mrs. Dahlgren, wife of + Admiral Dahlgren, and Mrs. William Tecumseh Sherman. On one occasion + Elizabeth Cady Stanton challenged Mrs. Dahlgren to a debate on woman + suffrage, and in the light of later events Mrs. Dahlgren's reply is + amusing. She declined the challenge, explaining that for anti-suffragists + to appear upon a public platform would be a direct violation of the + principle for which they stood—which was the protection of female + modesty! Recalling this, and the present hectic activity of the + anti-suffragists, one must feel that they have either abandoned their + principle or widened their views. For Julia Ward Howe I had an immense + admiration; but, though from first to last I saw much of her, I never felt + that I really knew her. She was a woman of the widest culture, interested + in every progressive movement. With all her big heart she tried to be a + democrat, but she was an aristocrat to the very core of her, and, despite + her wonderful work for others, she lived in a splendid isolation. Once + when I called on her I found her resting her mind by reading Greek, and + she laughingly admitted that she was using a Latin pony, adding that she + was growing "rusty." She seemed a little embarrassed by being caught with + the pony, but she must have been reassured by my cheerful confession that + if <i>I</i> tried to read either Latin or Greek I should need an English + pony. + </p> + <p> + Of Frances E. Willard, who frequently came to Boston, I saw a great deal, + and we soon became closely associated in our work. Early in our + friendship, and at Miss Willard's suggestion, we made a compact that once + a week each of us would point out to the other her most serious faults, + and thereby help her to remedy them; but we were both too sane to do + anything of the kind, and the project soon died a natural death. The + nearest I ever came to carrying it out was in warning Miss Willard that + she was constantly defying all the laws of personal hygiene. She never + rested, rarely seemed to sleep, and had to be reminded at the table that + she was there for the purpose of eating food. She was always absorbed in + some great interest, and oblivious to anything else, I never knew a woman + who could grip an audience and carry it with her as she could. She was + intensely emotional, and swayed others by their emotions rather than by + logic; yet she was the least conscious of her physical existence of any + one I ever knew, with the exception of Susan B. Anthony. Like "Aunt + Susan," Miss Willard paid no heed to cold or heat or hunger, to privation + or fatigue. In their relations to such trifles both women were disembodied + spirits. + </p> + <p> + Another woman doing wonderful work at this time was Mrs. Quincy Shaw, who + had recently started her day nurseries for the care of tenement children + whose mothers labored by the day. These nurseries were new in Boston, as + was the kindergarten system she also established. I saw the effect of her + work in the lives of the people, and it strengthened my growing conviction + that little could be done for the poor in a spiritual or educational way + until they were given a certain amount of physical comfort, and until more + time was devoted to the problem of prevention. Indeed, the more I studied + economic issues, the more strongly I felt that the position of most + philanthropists is that of men who stand at the bottom of a precipice + gathering up and trying to heal those who fall into it, instead of + guarding the top and preventing them from going over. + </p> + <p> + Of course I had to earn my living; but, though I had taken my medical + degree only a few months before leaving Cape Cod, I had no intention of + practising medicine. I had merely wished to add a certain amount of + medical knowledge to my mental equipment. The Massachusetts Woman Suffrage + Association, of which Lucy Stone was president, had frequently employed me + as a lecturer during the last two years of my pastorate. Now it offered me + a salary of one hundred dollars a month as a lecturer and organizer. + Though I may not have seemed so in these reminiscences, in which I have + written as freely of my small victories as of my struggles and failures, I + was a modest young person. The amount seemed too large, and I told Mrs. + Stone as much, after which I humbly fixed my salary at fifty dollars a + month. At the end of a year of work I felt that I had "made good"; then I + asked for and received the one hundred dollars a month originally offered + me. + </p> + <p> + During my second year Miss Cora Scott Pond and I organized and carried + through in Boston a great suffrage bazaar, clearing six thousand dollars + for the association—a large amount in those days. Elated by my share + in this success, I asked that my salary should be increased to one hundred + and twenty-five dollars a month—but this was not done. Instead, I + received a valuable lesson. It was freely admitted that my work was worth + one hundred and twenty-five dollars, but I was told that one hundred was + the limit which could be paid, and I was reminded that this was a good + salary for a woman. + </p> + <p> + The time seemed to have come to make a practical stand in defense of my + principles, and I did so by resigning and arranging an independent lecture + tour. The first month after my resignation I earned three hundred dollars. + Later I frequently earned more than that, and very rarely less. Eventually + I lectured under the direction of the Slaton Lecture Bureau of Chicago, + and later still for the Redpath Bureau of Boston. My experience with the + Redpath people was especially gratifying. Mrs. Livermore, who was their + only woman lecturer, was growing old and anxious to resign her work. She + saw in me a possible successor, and asked them to take me on their list. + They promptly refused, explaining that I must "make a reputation" before + they could even consider me. A year later they wrote me, making a very + good offer, which I accepted. It may be worth while to mention here that + through my lecture-work at this period I earned all the money I have ever + saved. I lectured night after night, week after week, month after month, + in "Chautauquas" in the summer, all over the country in the winter, + earning a large income and putting aside at that time the small surplus I + still hold in preparation for the "rainy day" every working-woman inwardly + fears. + </p> + <p> + I gave the public at least a fair equivalent for what it gave me, for I + put into my lectures all my vitality, and I rarely missed an engagement, + though again and again I risked my life to keep one. My special subjects, + of course, were the two I had most at heart-suffrage and temperance. For + Frances Willard, then President of the Woman's Christian Temperance Union, + had persuaded me to head the Franchise Department of that organization, + succeeding Ziralda Wallace, the mother of Gen. Lew Wallace; and Miss Susan + B. Anthony, who was beginning to study me closely, soon swung me into + active work with her, of which, later, I shall have much to say. But + before taking up a subject as absorbing to me as my friendship for and + association with the most wonderful woman I have ever known, it may be + interesting to record a few of my pioneer experiences in the + lecture-field. + </p> + <p> + In those days—thirty years ago—the lecture bureaus were wholly + regardless of the comfort of their lecturers. They arranged a schedule of + engagements with exactly one idea in mind—to get the lecturer from + one lecture-point to the next, utterly regardless of whether she had time + between for rest or food or sleep. So it happened that all-night journeys + in freight-cars, engines, and cabooses were casual commonplaces, while + thirty and forty mile drives across the country in blizzards and bitter + cold were equally inevitable. Usually these things did not trouble me. + They were high adventures which I enjoyed at the time and afterward loved + to recall. But there was an occasional hiatus in my optimism. + </p> + <p> + One night, for example, after lecturing in a town in Ohio, it was + necessary to drive eight miles across country to a tiny railroad station + at which a train, passing about two o'clock in the morning, was to be + flagged for me. When we reached the station it was closed, but my driver + deposited me on the platform and drove away, leaving me alone. The night + was cold and very dark. All day I had been feeling ill and in the evening + had suffered so much pain that I had finished my lecture with great + difficulty. Now toward midnight, in this desolate spot, miles from any + house, I grew alarmingly worse. I am not easily frightened, but that time + I was sure I was going to die. Off in the darkness, very far away, as it + seemed, I saw a faint light, and with infinite effort I dragged myself + toward it. To walk, even to stand, was impossible; I crawled along the + railroad track, collapsing, resting, going on again, whipping my will + power to the task of keeping my brain clear, until after a nightmare that + seemed to last through centuries I lay across the door of the switch-tower + in which the light was burning. The switchman stationed there heard the + cry I was able to utter, and came to my assistance. He carried me up to + his signal-room and laid me on the floor by the stove; he had nothing to + give me except warmth and shelter; but these were now all I asked. I sank + into a comatose condition shot through with pain. Toward two o'clock in + the morning he waked me and told me my train was coming, asking if I felt + able to take it. I decided to make the effort. He dared not leave his post + to help me, but he signaled to the train, and I began my progress back to + the station. I never clearly remembered how I got there; but I arrived and + was helped into a car by a brakeman. About four o'clock in the morning I + had to change again, but this time I was left at the station of a town, + and was there met by a man whose wife had offered me hospitality. He drove + me to their home, and I was cared for. What I had, it developed, was a + severe case of ptomaine poisoning, and I soon recovered; but even after + all these years I do not like to recall that night. + </p> + <p> + To be "snowed in" was a frequent experience. Once, in Minnesota, I was one + of a dozen travelers who were driven in an omnibus from a country hotel to + the nearest railroad station, about two miles away. It was snowing hard, + and the driver left us on the station platform and departed. Time passed, + but the train we were waiting for did not come. A true Western blizzard, + growing wilder every moment, had set in, and we finally realized that the + train was not coming, and that, moreover, it was now impossible to get + back to the hotel. The only thing we could do was to spend the night in + the railroad station. I was the only woman in the group, and my + fellow-passengers were cattlemen who whiled away the hours by smoking, + telling stories, and exchanging pocket flasks. The station had a telegraph + operator who occupied a tiny box by himself, and he finally invited me to + share the privacy of his microscopic quarters. I entered them very + gratefully, and he laid a board on the floor, covered it with an overcoat + made of buffalo-skins, and cheerfully invited me to go to bed. I went, and + slept peacefully until morning. Then we all returned to the hotel, the men + going ahead and shoveling a path. + </p> + <p> + Again, one Sunday, I was snowbound in a train near Faribault, and this + time also I was the only woman among a number of cattlemen. They were an + odoriferous lot, who smoked diligently and played cards without ceasing, + but in deference to my presence they swore only mildly and under their + breath. At last they wearied of their game, and one of them rose and came + to me. + </p> + <p> + "I heard you lecture the other night," he said, awkwardly, "and I've bin + tellin' the fellers about it. We'd like to have a lecture now." + </p> + <p> + Their card-playing had seemed to me a sinful thing (I was stricter in my + views then than I am to-day), and I was glad to create a diversion. I + agreed to give them a lecture, and they went through the train, which + consisted of two day coaches, and brought in the remaining passengers. A + few of them could sing, and we began with a Moody and Sankey hymn or two + and the appealing ditty, "Where is my wandering boy to-night?" in which + they all joined with special zest. Then I delivered the lecture, and they + listened attentively. When I had finished they seemed to think that some + slight return was in order, so they proceeded to make a bed for me. They + took the bottoms out of two seats, arranged them crosswise, and one man + folded his overcoat into a pillow. Inspired by this, two others + immediately donated their fur overcoats for upper and lower coverings. + When the bed was ready they waved me toward it with a most hospitable air, + and I crept in between the overcoats and slumbered sweetly until I was + aroused the next morning by the welcome music of a snow-plow which had + been sent from St. Paul to our rescue. To drive fifty or sixty miles in a + day to meet a lecture engagement was a frequent experience. I have been + driven across the prairies in June when they were like a mammoth + flower-bed, and in January when they seemed one huge snow-covered grave—my + grave, I thought, at times. Once during a thirty-mile drive, when the + thermometer was twenty degrees below zero, I suddenly realized that my + face was freezing. I opened my satchel, took out the tissue-paper that + protected my best gown, and put the paper over my face as a veil, tucking + it inside of my bonnet. When I reached my destination the tissue was a + perfect mask, frozen stiff, and I had to be lifted from the sleigh. I was + due on the lecture platform in half an hour, so I drank a huge bowl of + boiling ginger tea and appeared on time. That night I went to bed + expecting an attack of pneumonia as a result of the exposure, but I awoke + next morning in superb condition. I possess what is called "an iron + constitution," and in those days I needed it. + </p> + <p> + That same winter, in Kansas, I was chased by wolves, and though I had been + more or less intimately associated with wolves in my pioneer life in the + Michigan woods, I found the occasion extremely unpleasant. During the long + winters of my girlhood wolves had frequently slunk around our log cabin, + and at times in the lumber-camps we had even heard them prowling on the + roofs. But those were very different creatures from the two huge, + starving, tireless animals that hour after hour loped behind the cutter in + which I sat with another woman, who, throughout the whole experience, + never lost her head nor her control of our frantic horses. They were mad + with terror, for, try as they would, they could not outrun the grim things + that trailed us, seemingly not trying to gain on us, but keeping always at + the same distance, with a patience that was horrible. From time to time I + turned to look at them, and the picture they made as they came on and on + is one I shall never forget. They were so near that I could see their eyes + and slavering jaws, and they were as noiseless as things in a dream. At + last, little by little, they began to gain on us, and they were almost + within striking distance of the whip, which was our only weapon, when we + reached the welcome outskirts of a town and they fell back. + </p> + <p> + Some of the memories of those days have to do with personal encounters, + brief but poignant. Once when I was giving a series of Chautauqua + lectures, I spoke at the Chautauqua in Pontiac, Illinois. The State + Reformatory for Boys was situated in that town, and, after the lecture the + superintendent of the Reformatory invited me to visit it and say a few + words to the inmates. I went and spoke for half an hour, carrying away a + memory of the place and of the boys which haunted me for months. A year + later, while I was waiting for a train in the station at Shelbyville, a + lad about sixteen years old passed me and hesitated, looking as if he knew + me. I saw that he wanted to speak and dared not, so I nodded to him. + </p> + <p> + "You think you know me, don't you?" I asked, when he came to my side. + </p> + <p> + "Yes'm, I do know you," he told me, eagerly. "You are Miss Shaw, and you + talked to us boys at Pontiac last year. I'm out on parole now, but I + 'ain't forgot. Us boys enjoyed you the best of any show we ever had!" + </p> + <p> + I was touched by this artless compliment, and anxious to know how I had + won it, so I asked, "What did I say that the boys liked?" + </p> + <p> + The lad hesitated. Then he said, slowly, "Well, you didn't talk as if you + thought we were all bad." + </p> + <p> + "My boy," I told him, "I don't think you are all bad. I know better!" + </p> + <p> + As if I had touched a spring in him, the lad dropped into the seat by my + side; then, leaning toward me, he said, impulsively, but almost in a + whisper: + </p> + <p> + "Say, Miss Shaw, SOME OF US BOYS SAYS OUR PRAYERS!" + </p> + <p> + Rarely have I had a tribute that moved me more than that shy confidence; + and often since then, in hours of discouragement or failure, I have + reminded myself that at least there must have been something in me once to + make a lad of that age so open up his heart. We had a long and intimate + talk, from which grew the abiding interest I feel in boys today. + </p> + <p> + Naturally I was sometimes inconvenienced by slight misunderstandings + between local committees and myself as to the subjects of my lectures, and + the most extreme instance of this occurred in a town where I arrived to + find myself widely advertised as "Mrs. Anna Shaw, who whistled before + Queen Victoria"! Transfixed, I gaped before the billboards, and by reading + their additional lettering discovered the gratifying fact that at least I + was not expected to whistle now. Instead, it appeared, I was to lecture on + "The Missing Link." + </p> + <p> + As usual, I had arrived in town only an hour or two before the time fixed + for my lecture; there was the briefest interval in which to clear up these + painful misunderstandings. I repeatedly tried to reach the chairman who + was to preside at the entertainment, but failed. At last I went to the + hall at the hour appointed, and found the local committee there, + graciously waiting to receive me. Without wasting precious minutes in + preliminaries, I asked why they had advertised me as the woman who had + "whistled before Queen Victoria." + </p> + <p> + "Why, didn't you whistle before her?" they exclaimed in grieved surprise. + </p> + <p> + "I certainly did not," I explained. "Moreover, I was never called 'The + American Nightingale,' and I have never lectured on 'The Missing Link.' + Where DID you get that subject? It was not on the list I sent you." + </p> + <p> + The members of the committee seemed dazed. They withdrew to a corner and + consulted in whispers. Then, with clearing brow, the spokesman returned. + </p> + <p> + "Why," he said, cheerfully, "it's simple enough! We mixed you up with a + Shaw lady that whistles; and we've been discussing the missing link in our + debating society, so our citizens want to hear your views." + </p> + <p> + "But I don't know anything about the missing link," I protested, "and I + can't speak on it." + </p> + <p> + "Now, come," they begged. "Why, you'll have to! We've sold all our tickets + for that lecture. The whole town has turned out to hear it." + </p> + <p> + Then, as I maintained a depressed silence, one of them had a bright idea. + </p> + <p> + "I'll tell you how to fix it!" he cried. "Speak on any subject you please, + but bring in something about the missing link every few minutes. That will + satisfy 'em." + </p> + <p> + "Very well," I agreed, reluctantly. "Open the meeting with a song. Get the + audience to sing 'America' or 'The Star-spangled Banner.' That will give + me a few minutes to think, and I will see what can be done." + </p> + <p> + Led by a very nervous chairman, the big audience began to sing, and under + the inspiration of the music the solution of our problem flashed into my + mind. + </p> + <p> + "It is easy," I told myself. "Woman is the missing link in our government. + I'll give them a suffrage speech along that line." + </p> + <p> + When the song ended I began my part of the entertainment with a portion of + my lecture on "The Fate of Republics," tracing their growth and decay, and + pointing out that what our republic needed to give it a stable government + was the missing link of woman suffrage. I got along admirably, for every + five minutes I mentioned "the missing link," and the audience sat content + and apparently interested, while the members of the committee burst into + bloom on the platform. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VIII. DRAMA IN THE LECTURE-FIELD + </h2> + <p> + My most dramatic experience occurred in a city in Michigan, where I was + making a temperance campaign. It was an important lumber and shipping + center, and it harbored much intemperance. The editor of the leading + newspaper was with the temperance-workers in our fight there, and he had + warned me that the liquor people threatened to "burn the building over my + head" if I attempted to lecture. We were used to similar threats, so I + proceeded with my preparations and held the meeting in the town + skating-rink—a huge, bare, wooden structure. + </p> + <p> + Lectures were rare in that city, and rumors of some special excitement on + this occasion had been circulated; every seat in the rink was filled, and + several hundred persons stood in the aisles and at the back of the + building. Just opposite the speaker's platform was a small gallery, and + above that, in the ceiling, was a trap-door. Before I had been speaking + ten minutes I saw a man drop through this trap-door to the balcony and + climb from there to the main floor. As he reached the floor he shouted + "Fire!" and rushed out into the street. The next instant every person in + the rink was up and a panic had started. I was very sure there was no + fire, but I knew that many might be killed in the rush which was + beginning. So I sprang on a chair and shouted to the people with the full + strength of my lungs: + </p> + <p> + "There is no fire! It's only a trick! Sit down! Sit down!" + </p> + <p> + The cooler persons in the crowd at once began to help in this calming + process. + </p> + <p> + "Sit down!" they repeated. "It's all right! There's no fire! Sit down!" + </p> + <p> + It looked as if we had the situation in hand, for the people hesitated, + and most of them grew quiet; but just then a few words were hissed up to + me that made my heart stop beating. A member of our local committee was + standing beside my chair, speaking in a terrified whisper: + </p> + <p> + "There IS a fire, Miss Shaw," he said. "For God's sake get the people out—QUICKLY!" + </p> + <p> + The shock was so unexpected that my knees almost gave way. The people were + still standing, wavering, looking uncertainly toward us. I raised my voice + again, and if it sounded unnatural my hearers probably thought it was + because I was speaking so loudly. + </p> + <p> + "As we are already standing," I cried, "and are all nervous, a little + exercise will do us good. So march out, singing. Keep time to the music! + Later you can come back and take your seats!" + </p> + <p> + The man who had whispered the warning jumped into the aisle and struck up + "Jesus, Lover of My Soul." Then he led the march down to the door, while + the big audience swung into line and followed him, joining in the song. I + remained on the chair, beating time and talking to the people as they + went; but when the last of them had left the building I almost collapsed; + for the flames had begun to eat through the wooden walls and the clang of + the fire-engines was heard outside. + </p> + <p> + As soon as I was sure every one was safe, however, I experienced the most + intense anger I had yet known. My indignation against the men who had + risked hundreds of lives by setting fire to a crowded building made me + "see red"; it was clear that they must be taught a lesson then and there. + As soon as I was outside the rink I called a meeting, and the + Congregational minister, who was in the crowd, lent us his church and led + the way to it. Most of the audience followed us, and we had a wonderful + meeting, during which we were able at last to make clear to the people of + that town the character of the liquor interests we were fighting. That + episode did the temperance cause more good than a hundred ordinary + meetings. Men who had been indifferent before became our friends and + supporters, and at the following election we carried the town for + prohibition by a big majority. + </p> + <p> + There have been other occasions when our opponents have not fought us + fairly. Once, in an Ohio town, a group of politicians, hearing that I was + to lecture on temperance in the court-house on a certain night, took + possession of the building early in the evening, on the pretense of + holding a meeting, and held it against us. When, escorted by a committee + of leading women, I reached the building and tried to enter, we found that + the men had locked us out. Our audience was gathering and filling the + street, and we finally sent a courteous message to the men, assuming that + they had forgotten us and reminding them of our position. The messenger + reported that the men would leave "about eight," but that the room was + "black with smoke and filthy with tobacco-juice." We waited patiently + until eight o'clock, holding little outside meetings in groups, as our + audience waited with us. At eight we again sent our messenger into the + hall, and he brought back word that the men were "not through, didn't know + when they would be through, and had told the women not to wait." + </p> + <p> + Naturally, the waiting townswomen were deeply chagrined by this. So were + many men in the outside crowd. We asked if there was no other entrance to + the hall except through the locked front doors, and were told that the + judge's private room opened into it, and that one of our committee had the + key, as she had planned to use this room as a dressing and retiring room + for the speakers. After some discussion we decided to storm the hall and + take possession. Within five minutes all the women had formed in line and + were crowding up the back stairs and into the judge's room. There we + unlocked the door, again formed in line, and marched into the hall, + singing "Onward, Christian Soldiers!" + </p> + <p> + There were hundreds of us, and we marched directly to the platform, where + the astonished men got up to stare at us. More and more women entered, + coming up the back stairs from the street and filling the hall; and when + the men realized what it all meant, and recognized their wives, sisters, + and women friends in the throng, they sheepishly unlocked the front doors + and left us in possession, though we politely urged them to remain. We had + a great meeting that night! + </p> + <p> + Another reminiscence may not be out of place. We were working for a + prohibition amendment in the state of Pennsylvania, and the night before + election I reached Coatesville. I had just completed six weeks of + strenuous campaigning, and that day I had already conducted and spoken at + two big outdoor meetings. When I entered the town hall of Coatesville I + found it filled with women. Only a few men were there; the rest were + celebrating and campaigning in the streets. So I arose and said: + </p> + <p> + "I would like to ask how many men there are in the audience who intend to + vote for the amendment to-morrow?" + </p> + <p> + Every man in the hall stood up. + </p> + <p> + "I thought so," I said. "Now I intend to ask your indulgence. As you are + all in favor of the amendment, there is no use in my setting its claims + before you; and, as I am utterly exhausted, I suggest that we sing the + Doxology and go home!" + </p> + <p> + The audience saw the common sense of my position, so the people laughed + and sang the Doxology and departed. As we were leaving the hall one of + Coatesville's prominent citizens stopped me. + </p> + <p> + "I wish you were a man," he said. "The town was to have a big outdoor + meeting to-night, and the orator has failed us. There are thousands of men + in the streets waiting for the speech, and the saloons are sending them + free drinks to get them drunk and carry the town to-morrow." + </p> + <p> + "Why," I said, "I'll talk to them if you wish." + </p> + <p> + "Great Scott!" he gasped. "I'd be afraid to let you. Something might + happen!" + </p> + <p> + "If anything happens, it will be in a good cause," I reminded him. "Let us + go." + </p> + <p> + Down-town we found the streets so packed with men that the cars could not + get through, and with the greatest difficulty we reached the stand which + had been erected for the speaker. It was a gorgeous affair. There were + flaring torches all around it, and a "bull's-eye," taken from the head of + a locomotive, made an especially brilliant patch of light. The stand had + been erected at a point where the city's four principal streets meet, and + as far as I could see there were solid masses of citizens extending into + these streets. A glee-club was doing its best to help things along, and + the music of an organette, an instrument much used at the time in campaign + rallies, swelled the joyful tumult. As I mounted the platform the crowd + was singing "Vote for Betty and the Baby," and I took that song for my + text, speaking of the helplessness of women and children in the face of + intemperance, and telling the crowd the only hope of the Coatesville women + lay in the vote cast by their men the next day. + </p> + <p> + Directly in front of me stood a huge and extraordinarily repellent-looking + negro. A glance at him almost made one shudder, but before I had finished + my first sentence he raised his right arm straight above him and shouted, + in a deep and wonderfully rich bass voice, "Hallelujah to the Lamb!" From + that point on he punctuated my speech every few moments with good, + old-fashioned exclamations of salvation which helped to inspire the crowd. + I spoke for almost an hour. Three times in my life, and only three times, + I have made speeches that have satisfied me to the degree, that is, of + making me feel that at least I was giving the best that was in me. The + speech at Coatesville was one of those three. At the end of it the + good-natured crowd cheered for ten minutes. The next day Coatesville voted + for prohibition, and, rightly or wrongly, I have always believed that I + helped to win that victory. + </p> + <p> + Here, by the way, I may add that of the two other speeches which satisfied + me one was made in Chicago, during the World's Fair, in 1893, and the + other in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1912. The International Council of Women, + it will be remembered, met in Chicago during the Fair, and I was invited + to preach the sermon at the Sunday-morning session. The occasion was a + very important one, bringing together at least five thousand persons, + including representative women from almost every country in Europe, and a + large number of women ministers. These made an impressive group, as they + all wore their ministerial robes; and for the first time I preached in a + ministerial robe, ordered especially for that day. It was made of black + crepe de Chine, with great double flowing sleeves, white silk + undersleeves, and a wide white silk underfold down the front; and I may + mention casually that it looked very much better than I felt, for I was + very nervous. My father had come on to Chicago especially to hear my + sermon, and had been invited to sit on the platform. Even yet he was not + wholly reconciled to my public work, but he was beginning to take a deep + interest in it. I greatly desired to please him and to satisfy Miss + Anthony, who was extremely anxious that on that day of all days I should + do my best. + </p> + <p> + I gave an unusual amount of time and thought to that sermon, and at last + evolved what I modestly believed to be a good one. I never write out a + sermon in advance, but I did it this time, laboriously, and then memorized + the effort. The night before the sermon was to be delivered Miss Anthony + asked me about it, and when I realized how deeply interested she was I + delivered it to her then and there as a rehearsal. It was very late, and I + knew we would not be interrupted. As she listened her face grew longer and + longer and her lips drooped at the corners. Her disappointment was so + obvious that I had difficulty in finishing my recitation; but I finally + got through it, though rather weakly toward the end, and waited to hear + what she would say, hoping against hope that she had liked it better than + she seemed to. But Susan B. Anthony was the frankest as well as the + kindest of women. Resolutely she shook her head. + </p> + <p> + "It's no good, Anna," she said; firmly. "You'll have to do better. You've + polished and repolished that sermon until there's no life left in it. It's + dead. Besides, I don't care for your text." + </p> + <p> + "Then give me a text," I demanded, gloomily. + </p> + <p> + "I can't," said Aunt Susan. + </p> + <p> + I was tired and bitterly disappointed, and both conditions showed in my + reply. + </p> + <p> + "Well," I asked, somberly, "if you can't even supply a text, how do you + suppose I'm going to deliver a brand-new sermon at ten o'clock to-morrow + morning?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh," declared Aunt Susan, blithely, "you'll find a text." + </p> + <p> + I suggested several, but she did not like them. At last I said, "I have it—'Let + no man take thy crown.'" + </p> + <p> + "That's it!" exclaimed Miss Anthony. "Give us a good sermon on that text." + </p> + <p> + She went to her room to sleep the sleep of the just and the untroubled, + but I tossed in my bed the rest of the night, planning the points of the + new sermon. After I had delivered it the next morning I went to my father + to assist him from the platform. He was trembling, and his eyes were full + of tears. He seized my arm and pressed it. + </p> + <p> + "Now I am ready to die," was all he said. + </p> + <p> + I was so tired that I felt ready to die, too; but his satisfaction and a + glance at Aunt Susan's contented face gave me the tonic I needed. Father + died two years later, and as I was campaigning in California I was not + with him at the end. It was a comfort to remember, however, that in the + twilight of his life he had learned to understand his most difficult + daughter, and to give her credit for earnestness of purpose, at least, in + following the life that had led her away from him. After his death, and + immediately upon my return from California, I visited my mother, and it + was well indeed that I did, for within a few months she followed father + into the other world for which all of her unselfish life had been a + preparation. + </p> + <p> + Our last days together were perfect. Her attitude was one of serene and + cheerful expectancy, and I always think of her as sitting among the + primroses and bluebells she loved, which seemed to bloom unceasingly in + the windows of her room. I recall, too, with gratitude, a trifle which + gave her a pleasure out of all proportion to what I had dreamed it would + do. She had expressed a longing for some English heather, "not the + hot-house variety, but the kind that blooms on the hills," and I had + succeeded in getting a bunch for her by writing to an English friend. + </p> + <p> + Its possession filled her with joy, and from the time it came until the + day her eyes closed in their last sleep it was rarely beyond reach of her + hand. At her request, when she was buried we laid the heather on her heart—the + heart of a true and loyal woman, who, though her children had not known + it, must have longed without ceasing throughout her New World life for the + Old World of her youth. + </p> + <p> + The Scandinavian speech was an even more vital experience than the Chicago + one, for in Stockholm I delivered the first sermon ever preached by a + woman in the State Church of Sweden, and the event was preceded by an + amount of political and journalistic opposition which gave it an + international importance. I had also been invited by the Norwegian women + to preach in the State Church of Norway, but there we experienced + obstacles. By the laws of Norway women are permitted to hold all public + offices except those in the army, navy, and church—a rather + remarkable militant and spiritual combination. As a woman, therefore, I + was denied the use of the church by the Minister of Church Affairs. + </p> + <p> + The decision created great excitement and much delving into the law. It + then appeared that if the use of a State Church is desired for a minister + of a foreign country the government can give such permission. It was + thought that I might slip in through this loophole, and application was + made to the government. The reply came that permission could be received + only from the entire Cabinet; and while the Cabinet gentlemen were + feverishly discussing the important issue, the Norwegian press became + active, pointing out that the Minister of Church Affairs had arrogantly + assumed the right of the entire Cabinet in denying the application. The + charge was taken up by the party opposed to the government party in + Parliament, and the Minister of Church Affairs swiftly turned the whole + matter over to his conferees. + </p> + <p> + The Cabinet held a session, and by a vote of four to three decided NOT to + allow a woman to preach in the State Church. I am happy to add that of the + three who voted favorably on the question one was the Premier of Norway. + Again the newspapers grasped their opportunity—especially the organs + of the opposition party. My rooms were filled with reporters, while daily + the excitement grew. The question was brought up in Parliament, and I was + invited to attend and hear the discussion there. By this time every + newspaper in Scandinavia was for or against me; and the result of the + whole matter was that, though the State Church of Norway was not opened to + me, a most unusual interest had been aroused in my sermon in the State + Church of Sweden. When I arrived there to keep my engagement, not only was + the wonderful structure packed to its walls, but the waiting crowds in the + street were so large that the police had difficulty in opening a way for + our party. + </p> + <p> + I shall never forget my impression of the church itself when I entered it. + It will always stand forth in my memory as one of the most beautiful + churches I have ever visited. On every side were monuments of dead heroes + and statesmen, and the high, vaulted blue dome seemed like the open sky + above our heads. Over us lay a light like a soft twilight, and the great + congregation filled not only all the pews, but the aisles, the platform, + and even the steps of the pulpit. The ushers were young women from the + University of Upsala, wearing white university caps with black vizors, and + sashes in the university colors. The anthem was composed especially for + the occasion by the first woman cathedral organist in Sweden—the + organist of the cathedral in Gothenburg—and she had brought with her + thirty members of her choir, all of them remarkable singers. + </p> + <p> + The whole occasion was indescribably impressive, and I realized in every + fiber the necessity of being worthy of it. Also, I experienced a sensation + such as I had never known before, and which I can only describe as a + seeming complete separation of my physical self from my spiritual self. It + was as if my body stood aside and watched my soul enter that pulpit. There + was no uncertainty, no nervousness, though usually I am very nervous when + I begin to speak; and when I had finished I knew that I had done my best. + </p> + <p> + But all this is a long way from the early days I was discussing, when I + was making my first diffident bows to lecture audiences and learning the + lessons of the pioneer in the lecture-field. I was soon to learn more, for + in 1888 Miss Anthony persuaded me to drop my temperance work and + concentrate my energies on the suffrage cause. For a long time I + hesitated. I was very happy in my connection with the Woman's Christian + Temperance Union, and I knew that Miss Willard was depending on me to + continue it. But Miss Anthony's arguments were irrefutable, and she was + herself, as always, irresistible. + </p> + <p> + "You can't win two causes at once," she reminded me. "You're merely + scattering your energies. Begin at the beginning. Win suffrage for women, + and the rest will follow." As an added argument, she took me with her on + her Kansas campaign, and after that no further arguments were needed. From + then until her death, eighteen years later, Miss Anthony and I worked + shoulder to shoulder. + </p> + <p> + The most interesting lecture episode of our first Kansas campaign was my + debate with Senator John J. Ingalls. Before this, however, on our arrival + at Atchison, Mrs. Ingalls gave a luncheon for Miss Anthony, and Rachel + Foster Avery and I were also invited. Miss Anthony sat at the right of + Senator Ingalls, and I at his left, while Mrs. Ingalls, of course, adorned + the opposite end of her table. Mrs. Avery and I had just been entertained + for several days at the home of a vegetarian friend who did not know how + to cook vegetables, and we were both half starved. When we were invited to + the Ingalls home we had uttered in unison a joyous cry, "Now we shall have + something to eat!" At the luncheon, however, Senator Ingalls kept Miss + Anthony and me talking steadily. He was not in favor of suffrage for + women, but he wished to know all sorts of things about the Cause, and we + were anxious to have him know them. The result was that I had time for + only an occasional mouthful, while down at the end of the table Mrs. Avery + ate and ate, pausing only to send me glances of heartfelt sympathy. Also, + whenever she had an especially toothsome morsel on the end of her fork she + wickedly succeeded in catching my eye and thus adding the last sybaritic + touch to her enjoyment. + </p> + <p> + Notwithstanding the wealth of knowledge we had bestowed upon him, or + perhaps because of it, the following night Senator Ingalls made his famous + speech against suffrage, and it fell to my lot to answer him. In the + course of his remarks he asked this question: "Would you like to add three + million illiterate voters to the large body of illiterate voters we have + in America to-day?" The audience applauded light-heartedly, but I was + disturbed by the sophistry of the question. One of Senator Ingalls's most + discussed personal peculiarities was the parting of his hair in the + middle. Cartoonists and newspaper writers always made much of this, so + when I rose to reply I felt justified in mentioning it. + </p> + <p> + "Senator Ingalls," I began, "parts his hair in the middle, as we all know, + but he makes up for it by parting his figures on one side. Last night he + gave you the short side of his figures. At the present time there are in + the United States about eighteen million women of voting age. When the + Senator asked whether you wanted three million additional illiterate women + voters, he forgot to ask also if you didn't want fifteen million + additional intelligent women voters! We will grant that it will take the + votes of three million intelligent women to wipe out the votes of three + million illiterate women. But don't forget that that would still leave us + twelve million intelligent votes to the good!" + </p> + <p> + The audience applauded as gaily as it had applauded Senator Ingalls when + he spoke on the other side, and I continued: + </p> + <p> + "Now women have always been generous to men. So of our twelve million + intelligent voters we will offer four million to offset the votes of the + four million illiterate men in this country—and then we will still + have eight million intelligent votes to add to the other intelligent votes + which are cast." The audience seemed to enjoy this. + </p> + <p> + "The anti-suffragists are fairly safe," I ended, "as long as they remain + on the plane of prophecy. But as soon as they tackle mathematics they get + into trouble!" + </p> + <p> + Miss Anthony was much pleased by the wide publicity given to this debate, + but Senator Ingalls failed to share her enthusiasm. + </p> + <p> + It was shortly after this encounter that I had two traveling experiences + which nearly cost me my life. One of them occurred in Ohio at the time of + a spring freshet. I know of no state that can cover itself with water as + completely as Ohio can, and for no apparent reason. On this occasion it + was breaking its own record. We had driven twenty miles across country in + a buggy which was barely out of the water, and behind horses that at times + were almost forced to swim, and when we got near the town where I was to + lecture, though still on the opposite side of the river from it, we + discovered that the bridge was gone. We had a good view of the town, + situated high and dry on a steep bank; but the river which rolled between + us and that town was a roaring, boiling stream, and the only possible way + to cross it, I found, was to walk over a railroad trestle, already + trembling under the force of the water. + </p> + <p> + There were hundreds of men on the river-bank watching the flood, and when + they saw me start out on the empty trestle they set up a cheer that nearly + threw me off. The river was wide and the ties far apart, and the roar of + the stream below was far from reassuring; but in some way I reached the + other side, and was there helped off the trestle by what the newspapers + called "strong and willing hands." + </p> + <p> + Another time, in a desperate resolve to meet a lecture engagement, I + walked across the railroad trestle at Elmira, New York, and when I was + halfway over I heard shouts of warning to turn back, as a train was + coming. The trestle was very high at that point, and I realized that if I + turned and faced an oncoming train I would undoubtedly lose my nerve and + fall. So I kept on, as rapidly as I could, accompanied by the shrieks of + those who objected to witnessing a violent death, and I reached the end of + the trestle just as an express-train thundered on the beginning of it. The + next instant a policeman had me by the shoulders and was shaking me as if + I had been a bad child. + </p> + <p> + "If you ever do such a thing again," he thundered, "I'll lock you up!" + </p> + <p> + As soon as I could speak I assured him fervently that I never would; one + such experience was all I desired. + </p> + <p> + Occasionally a flash of humor, conscious or unconscious, lit up the gloom + of a trying situation. Thus, in Parkersburg, West Virginia, the train I + was on ran into a coal-car. I was sitting in a sleeper, leaning back + comfortably with my feet on the seat in front of me, and the force of the + collision lifted me up, turned me completely over, and deposited me, head + first, two seats beyond. On every side I heard cries and the crash of + human bodies against unyielding substances as my fellow-passengers flew + through the air, while high and clear above the tumult rang the voice of + the conductor: + </p> + <p> + "Keep your seats!" he yelled. "KEEP YOUR SEATS!" + </p> + <p> + Nobody in our car was seriously hurt; but, so great is the power of vested + authority, no one smiled over that order but me. + </p> + <p> + Many times my medical experience was useful. Once I was on a train which + ran into a buggy and killed the woman in it. Her little daughter, who was + with her, was badly hurt, and when the train had stopped the crew lifted + the dead woman and the injured child on board, to take them to the next + station. As I was the only doctor among the passengers, the child was + turned over to me. I made up a bed on the seats and put the little patient + there, but no woman in the car was able to assist me. The tragedy had made + them hysterical, and on every side they were weeping and nerveless. The + men were willing but inefficient, with the exception of one uncouth + woodsman whose trousers were tucked into his boots and whose hands were + phenomenally big and awkward. But they were also very gentle, as I + realized when he began to help me. I knew at once that he was the man I + needed, notwithstanding his unkempt hair, his general ungainliness, the + hat he wore on the back of his head, and the pink carnation in his + buttonhole, which, by its very incongruity, added the final accent to his + unprepossessing appearance. Together we worked over the child, making it + as comfortable as we could. It was hardly necessary to tell my aide what I + wanted done; he seemed to know and even to anticipate my efforts. + </p> + <p> + When we reached the next station the dead woman was taken out and laid on + the platform, and a nurse and doctor who had been telegraphed for were + waiting to care for the little girl. She was conscious by this time, and + with the most exquisite gentleness my rustic Bayard lifted her in his arms + to carry her off the train. Quite unnecessarily I motioned to him not to + let her see her dead mother. He was not the sort who needed that warning; + he had already turned her face to his shoulder, and, with head bent low + above her, was safely skirting the spot where the long, covered figure + lay. + </p> + <p> + Evidently the station was his destination, too, for he remained there; but + just as the train pulled out he came hurrying to my window, took the + carnation from his buttonhole, and without a word handed it to me. And + after the tragic hour in which I had learned to know him the crushed + flower, from that man, seemed the best fee I had ever received. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IX. "AUNT SUSAN" + </h2> + <p> + In The Life of Susan B. Anthony it is mentioned that 1888 was a year of + special recognition of our great leader's work, but that it was also the + year in which many of her closest friends and strongest supporters were + taken from her by death. A. Bronson Alcott was among these, and Louisa M. + Alcott, as well as Dr. Lozier; and special stress is laid on Miss + Anthony's sense of loss in the diminishing circle of her friends—a + loss which new friends and workers came forward, eager to supply. + </p> + <p> + "Chief among these," adds the record, "was Anna Shaw, who, from the time + of the International Council in '88, gave her truest allegiance to Miss + Anthony." + </p> + <p> + It is true that from that year until Miss Anthony's death in 1906 we two + were rarely separated; and I never read the paragraph I have just quoted + without seeing, as in a vision, the figure of "Aunt Susan" as she slipped + into my hotel room in Chicago late one night after an evening meeting of + the International Council. I had gone to bed—indeed, I was almost + asleep when she came, for the day had been as exhausting as it was + interesting. But notwithstanding the lateness of the hour, "Aunt Susan," + then nearing seventy, was still as fresh and as full of enthusiasm as a + young girl. She had a great deal to say, she declared, and she proceeded + to say it—sitting in a big easy-chair near the bed, with a rug + around her knees, while I propped myself up with pillows and listened. + </p> + <p> + Hours passed and the dawn peered wanly through the windows, but still Miss + Anthony talked of the Cause always of the Cause—and of what we two + must do for it. The previous evening she had been too busy to eat any + dinner, and I greatly doubt whether she had eaten any luncheon at noon. + She had been on her feet for hours at a time, and she had held numerous + discussions with other women she wished to inspire to special effort. Yet, + after it all, here she was laying out our campaigns for years ahead, + foreseeing everything, forgetting nothing, and sweeping me with her in her + flight toward our common goal, until I, who am not easily carried off my + feet, experienced an almost dizzy sense of exhilaration. + </p> + <p> + Suddenly she stopped, looked at the gas-jets paling in the morning light + that filled the room, and for a fleeting instant seemed surprised. In the + next she had dismissed from her mind the realization that we had talked + all night. Why should we not talk all night? It was part of our work. She + threw off the enveloping rug and rose. + </p> + <p> + "I must dress now," she said, briskly. "I've called a committee meeting + before the morning session." + </p> + <p> + On her way to the door nature smote her with a rare reminder, but even + then she did not realize that it was personal. "Perhaps," she remarked, + tentatively, "you ought to have a cup of coffee." + </p> + <p> + That was "Aunt Susan." And in the eighteen years which followed I had + daily illustrations of her superiority to purely human weaknesses. To her + the hardships we underwent later, in our Western campaigns for woman + suffrage, were as the airiest trifles. Like a true soldier, she could + snatch a moment of sleep or a mouthful of food where she found it, and if + either was not forthcoming she did not miss it. To me she was an unceasing + inspiration—the torch that illumined my life. We went through some + difficult years together—years when we fought hard for each inch of + headway we gained—but I found full compensation for every effort in + the glory of working with her for the Cause that was first in both our + hearts, and in the happiness of being her friend. Later I shall describe + in more detail the suffrage campaigns and the National and International + councils in which we took part; now it is of her I wish to write—of + her bigness, her many-sidedness, her humor, her courage, her quickness, + her sympathy, her understanding, her force, her supreme common-sense, her + selflessness; in short, of the rare beauty of her nature as I learned to + know it. + </p> + <p> + Like most great leaders, she took one's best work for granted, and was + chary with her praise; and even when praise was given it usually came by + indirect routes. I recall with amusement that the highest compliment she + ever paid me in public involved her in a tangle from which, later, only + her quick wit extricated her. We were lecturing in an especially pious + town which I shall call B——, and just before I went on the + platform Miss Anthony remarked, peacefully: + </p> + <p> + "These people have always claimed that I am irreligious. They will not + accept the fact that I am a Quaker—or, rather, they seem to think a + Quaker is an infidel. I am glad you are a Methodist, for now they cannot + claim that we are not orthodox." + </p> + <p> + She was still enveloped in the comfort of this reflection when she + introduced me to our audience, and to impress my qualifications upon my + hearers she made her introduction in these words: + </p> + <p> + "It is a pleasure to introduce Miss Shaw, who is a Methodist minister. And + she is not only orthodox of the orthodox, but she is also my right bower!" + </p> + <p> + There was a gasp from the pious audience, and then a roar of laughter from + irreverent men, in which, I must confess, I light-heartedly joined. For + once in her life Miss Anthony lost her presence of mind; she did not know + how to meet the situation, for she had no idea what had caused the + laughter. It bubbled forth again and again during the evening, and each + time Miss Anthony received the demonstration with the same air of puzzled + surprise. When we had returned to our hotel rooms I explained the matter + to her. I do not remember now where I had acquired my own sinful + knowledge, but that night I faced "Aunt Susan" from the pedestal of a + sophisticated worldling. + </p> + <p> + "Don't you know what a right bower is?" I demanded, sternly. + </p> + <p> + "Of course I do," insisted "Aunt Susan." "It's a right-hand man—the + kind one can't do without." + </p> + <p> + "It is a card," I told her, firmly—"a leading card in a game called + euchre." + </p> + <p> + "Aunt Susan" was dazed. "I didn't know it had anything to do with cards," + she mused, mournfully. "What must they think of me?" + </p> + <p> + What they thought became quite evident. The newspapers made countless + jokes at our expense, and there were significant smiles on the faces in + the audience that awaited us the next night. When Miss Anthony walked upon + the platform she at once proceeded to clear herself of the tacit charge + against her. + </p> + <p> + "When I came to your town," she began, cheerfully, "I had been warned that + you were a very religious lot of people. I wanted to impress upon you the + fact that Miss Shaw and I are religious, too. But I admit that when I told + you she was my right bower I did not know what a right bower was. I have + learned that, since last night." + </p> + <p> + She waited until the happy chortles of her hearers had subsided, and then + went on. + </p> + <p> + "It interests me very much, however," she concluded, "to realize that + every one of you seemed to know all about a right bower, and that I had to + come to your good, orthodox town to get the information." + </p> + <p> + That time the joke was on the audience. Miss Anthony's home was in + Rochester, New York, and it was said by our friends that on the rare + occasions when we were not together, and I was lecturing independently, + "all return roads led through Rochester." I invariably found some excuse + to go there and report to her. Together we must have worn out many + Rochester pavements, for "Aunt Susan's" pet recreation was walking, and + she used to walk me round and round the city squares, far into the night, + and at a pace that made policemen gape at us as we flew by. Some disrespectful + youth once remarked that on these occasions we suggested a race between a + ruler and a rubber ball—for she was very tall and thin, while I am + short and plump. To keep up with her I literally bounded at her side. + </p> + <p> + A certain amount of independent lecturing was necessary for me, for I had + to earn my living. The National American Woman Suffrage Association has + never paid salaries to its officers, so, when I became vice-president and + eventually, in 1904, president of the association, I continued to work + gratuitously for the Cause in these positions. Even Miss Anthony received + not one penny of salary for all her years of unceasing labor, and she was + so poor that she did not have a home of her own until she was + seventy-five. Then it was a very simple one, and she lived with the utmost + economy. I decided that I could earn my bare expenses by making one brief + lecture tour each year, and I made an arrangement with the Redpath Bureau + which left me fully two-thirds of my time for the suffrage work I loved. + </p> + <p> + This was one result of my all-night talk with Miss Anthony in Chicago, and + it enabled me to carry out her plan that I should accompany her in most of + the campaigns in which she sought to arouse the West to the need of + suffrage for women. From that time on we traveled and lectured together so + constantly that each of us developed an almost uncanny knowledge of the + other's mental processes. At any point of either's lecture the other could + pick it up and carry it on—a fortunate condition, as it sometimes + became necessary to do this. Miss Anthony was subject to contractions of + the throat, which for the moment caused a slight strangulation. On such + occasions—of which there were several—she would turn to me and + indicate her helplessness. Then I would repeat her last sentence, complete + her speech, and afterward make my own. + </p> + <p> + The first time this happened we were in Washington, and "Aunt Susan" + stopped in the middle of a word. She could not speak; she merely motioned + to me to continue for her, and left the stage. At the end of the evening a + prominent Washington man who had been in our audience remarked to me, + confidentially: + </p> + <p> + "That was a nice little play you and Miss Anthony made to-night—very + effective indeed." + </p> + <p> + For an instant I did not catch his meaning, nor the implication in his + knowing smile. + </p> + <p> + "Very clever, that strangling bit, and your going on with the speech," he + repeated. "It hit the audience hard." + </p> + <p> + "Surely," I protested, "you don't think it was a deliberate thing—that + we planned or rehearsed it." + </p> + <p> + He stared at me incredulously. "Are you going to pretend," he demanded, + "that it wasn't a put-up job?" + </p> + <p> + I told him he had paid us a high compliment, and that we must really have + done very well if we had conveyed that impression; and I finally convinced + him that we not only had not rehearsed the episode, but that neither of us + had known what the other meant to say. We never wrote out our speeches, + but our subject was always suffrage or some ramification of suffrage, and, + naturally, we had thoroughly digested each other's views. + </p> + <p> + It is said by my friends that I write my speeches on the tips of my + fingers—for I always make my points on my fingers and have my + fingers named for points. When I plan a speech I decide how many points I + wish to make and what those points shall be. My mental preparation + follows. Miss Anthony's method was much the same; but very frequently both + of us threw over all our plans at the last moment and spoke + extemporaneously on some theme suggested by the atmosphere of the + gathering or by the words of another speaker. + </p> + <p> + From Miss Anthony, more than from any one else, I learned to keep cool in + the face of interruptions and of the small annoyances and disasters + inevitable in campaigning. Often we were able to help each other out of + embarrassing situations, and one incident of this kind occurred during our + campaign in South Dakota. We were holding a meeting on the hottest Sunday + of the hottest month in the year—August—and hundreds of the + natives had driven twenty, thirty, and even forty miles across the country + to hear us. We were to speak in a sod church, but it was discovered that + the structure would not hold half the people who were trying to enter it, + so we decided that Miss Anthony should speak from the door, in order that + those both inside and outside might hear her. To elevate her above her + audience, she was given an empty dry-goods box to stand on. + </p> + <p> + This makeshift platform was not large, and men, women, and children were + seated on the ground around it, pressing up against it, as close to the + speaker as they could get. Directly in front of Miss Anthony sat a woman + with a child about two years old—a little boy; and this infant, like + every one else in the packed throng, was dripping with perspiration and + suffering acutely under the blazing sun. Every woman present seemed to + have brought children with her, doubtless because she could not leave them + alone at home; and babies were crying and fretting on all sides. The + infant nearest Miss Anthony fretted most strenuously; he was a sturdy + little fellow with a fine pair of lungs, and he made it very difficult for + her to lift her voice above his dismal clamor. Suddenly, however, he + discovered her feet on the drygoods box, about on a level with his head. + They were clad in black stockings and low shoes; they moved about oddly; + they fascinated him. With a yelp of interest he grabbed for them and began + pinching them to see what they were. His howls ceased; he was happy. + </p> + <p> + Miss Anthony was not. But it was a great relief to have the child quiet, + so she bore the infliction of the pinching as long as she could. When + endurance had found its limit she slipped back out of reach, and as his + new plaything receded the boy uttered shrieks of disapproval. There was + only one way to stop his noise; Miss Anthony brought her feet forward + again, and he resumed the pinching of her ankles, while his yelps subsided + to contented murmurs. The performance was repeated half a dozen times. + Each time the ankles retreated the baby yelled. Finally, for once at the + end of her patience, "Aunt Susan" leaned forward and addressed the mother, + whose facial expression throughout had shown a complete mental detachment + from the situation. + </p> + <p> + "I think your little boy is hot and thirsty," she said, gently. "If you + would take him out of the crowd and give him a drink of water and unfasten + his clothes, I am sure he would be more comfortable." Before she had + finished speaking the woman had sprung to her feet and was facing her with + fierce indignation. + </p> + <p> + "This is the first time I have ever been insulted as a mother," she cried; + "and by an old maid at that!" Then she grasped the infant and left the + scene, amid great confusion. The majority of those in the audience seemed + to sympathize with her. They had not seen the episode of the feet, and + they thought Miss Anthony was complaining of the child's crying. Their + children were crying, too, and they felt that they had all been + criticized. Other women rose and followed the irate mother, and many men + gallantly followed them. It seemed clear that motherhood had been + outraged. + </p> + <p> + Miss Anthony was greatly depressed by the episode, and she was not + comforted by a prediction one man made after the meeting. + </p> + <p> + "You've lost at least twenty votes by that little affair," he told her. + </p> + <p> + "Aunt Susan" sighed. "Well," she said, "if those men knew how my ankles + felt I would have won twenty votes by enduring the torture as long as I + did." + </p> + <p> + The next day we had a second meeting. Miss Anthony made her speech early + in the evening, and by the time it was my turn to begin all the children + in the audience—and there were many—were both tired and + sleepy. At least half a dozen of them were crying, and I had to shout to + make my voice heard above their uproar. Miss Anthony remarked afterward + that there seemed to be a contest between me and the infants to see which + of us could make more noise. The audience was plainly getting restless + under the combined effect, and finally a man in the rear rose and added + his voice to the tumult. + </p> + <p> + "Say, Miss Shaw," he yelled, "don't you want these children put out?" + </p> + <p> + It was our chance to remove the sad impression of yesterday, and I grasped + it. + </p> + <p> + "No, indeed," I yelled back. "Nothing inspires me like the voice of a + child!" + </p> + <p> + A handsome round of applause from mothers and fathers greeted this noble + declaration, after which the blessed babies and I resumed our joint vocal + efforts. When the speech was finished and we were alone together, Miss + Anthony put her arm around my shoulder and drew me to her side. + </p> + <p> + "Well, Anna," she said, gratefully, "you've certainly evened us up on + motherhood this time." + </p> + <p> + That South Dakota campaign was one of the most difficult we ever made. It + extended over nine months; and it is impossible to describe the poverty + which prevailed throughout the whole rural community of the State. There + had been three consecutive years of drought. The sand was like powder, so + deep that the wheels of the wagons in which we rode "across country" sank + half-way to the hubs; and in the midst of this dry powder lay withered + tangles that had once been grass. Every one had the forsaken, desperate + look worn by the pioneer who has reached the limit of his endurance, and + the great stretches of prairie roads showed innumerable canvas-covered + wagons, drawn by starved horses, and followed by starved cows, on their + way "Back East." Our talks with the despairing drivers of these wagons are + among my most tragic memories. They had lost everything except what they + had with them, and they were going East to leave "the woman" with her + father and try to find work. Usually, with a look of disgust at his wife, + the man would say: "I wanted to leave two years ago, but the woman kept + saying, 'Hold on a little longer.'" + </p> + <p> + Both Miss Anthony and I gloried in the spirit of these pioneer women, and + lost no opportunity to tell them so; for we realized what our nation owes + to the patience and courage of such as they were. We often asked them what + was the hardest thing to bear in their pioneer life, and we usually + received the same reply: + </p> + <p> + "To sit in our little adobe or sod houses at night and listen to the + wolves howl over the graves of our babies. For the howl of the wolf is + like the cry of a child from the grave." + </p> + <p> + Many days, and in all kinds of weather, we rode forty and fifty miles in + uncovered wagons. Many nights we shared a one-room cabin with all the + members of the family. But the greatest hardship we suffered was the lack + of water. There was very little good water in the state, and the purest + water was so brackish that we could hardly drink it. The more we drank the + thirstier we became, and when the water was made into tea it tasted worse + than when it was clear. A bath was the rarest of luxuries. The only + available fuel was buffalo manure, of which the odor permeated all our + food. But despite these handicaps we were happy in our work, for we had + some great meetings and many wonderful experiences. + </p> + <p> + When we reached the Black Hills we had more of this genuine campaigning. + We traveled over the mountains in wagons, behind teams of horses, visiting + the mining-camps; and often the gullies were so deep that when our horses + got into them it was almost impossible to get them out. I recall with + special clearness one ride from Hill City to Custer City. It was only a + matter of thirty miles, but it was thoroughly exhausting; and after our + meeting that same night we had to drive forty miles farther over the + mountains to get the early morning train from Buffalo Gap. The trail from + Custer City to Buffalo Gap was the one the animals had originally made in + their journeys over the pass, and the drive in that wild region, + throughout a cold, piercing October night, was an unforgetable experience. + Our host at Custer City lent Miss Anthony his big buffalo overcoat, and + his wife lent hers to me. They also heated blocks of wood for our feet, + and with these protections we started. A full moon hung in the sky. The + trees were covered with hoar-frost, and the cold, still air seemed to + sparkle in the brilliant light. Again Miss Anthony talked to me throughout + the night—of the work, always of the work, and of what it would mean + to the women who followed us; and again she fired my soul with the flame + that burned so steadily in her own. + </p> + <p> + It was daylight when we reached the little station at Buffalo Gap where we + were to take the train. This was not due, however, for half an hour, and + even then it did not come. The station was only large enough to hold the + stove, the ticket-office, and the inevitable cuspidor. There was barely + room in which to walk between these and the wall. Miss Anthony sat down on + the floor. I had a few raisins in my bag, and we divided them for + breakfast. An hour passed, and another, and still the train did not come. + Miss Anthony, her back braced against the wall, buried her face in her + hands and dropped into a peaceful abyss of slumber, while I walked + restlessly up and down the platform. The train arrived four hours late, + and when eventually we had reached our destination we learned that the + ministers of the town had persuaded the women to give up the suffrage + meeting scheduled for that night, as it was Sunday. + </p> + <p> + This disappointment, following our all-day and all-night drive to keep our + appointment, aroused Miss Anthony's fighting spirit. She sent me out to + rent the theater for the evening, and to have some hand-bills printed and + distributed, announcing that we would speak. At three o'clock she made the + concession to her seventy years of lying down for an hour's rest. I was + young and vigorous, so I trotted around town to get somebody to preside, + somebody to introduce us, somebody to take up the collection, and somebody + who would provide music—in short, to make all our preparations for + the night meeting. + </p> + <p> + When evening came the crowd which had assembled was so great that men and + women sat in the windows and on the stage, and stood in the flies. Night + attractions were rare in that Dakota town, and here was something new. + Nobody went to church, so the churches were forced to close. We had a + glorious meeting. Both Miss Anthony and I were in excellent fighting trim, + and Miss Anthony remarked that the only thing lacking to make me do my + best was a sick headache. The collection we took up paid all our expenses, + the church singers sang for us, the great audience was interested, and the + whole occasion was an inspiring success. + </p> + <p> + The meeting ended about half after ten o'clock, and I remember taking Miss + Anthony to our hotel and escorting her to her room. I also remember that + she followed me to the door and made some laughing remark as I left for my + own room; but I recall nothing more until the next morning when she stood + beside me telling me it was time for breakfast. She had found me lying on + the cover of my bed, fully clothed even to my bonnet and shoes. I had + fallen there, utterly exhausted, when I entered my room the night before, + and I do not think I had even moved from that time until the moment—nine + hours later—when I heard her voice and felt her hand on my shoulder. + </p> + <p> + After all our work, we did not win Dakota that year, but Miss Anthony bore + the disappointment with the serenity she always showed. To her a failure + was merely another opportunity, and I mention our experience here only to + show of what she was capable in her gallant seventies. But I should + misrepresent her if I did not show her human and sentimental side as well. + With all her detachment from human needs she had emotional moments, and of + these the most satisfying came when she was listening to music. She knew + nothing whatever about music, but was deeply moved by it; and I remember + vividly one occasion when Nordica sang for her, at an afternoon reception + given by a Chicago friend in "Aunt Susan's" honor. As it happened, she had + never heard Nordica sing until that day; and before the music began the + great artiste and the great leader met, and in the moment of meeting + became friends. When Nordica sang, half an hour later, she sang directly + to Miss Anthony, looking into her eyes; and "Aunt Susan" listened with her + own eyes full of tears. When the last notes had been sung she went to the + singer and put both arms around her. The music had carried her back to her + girlhood and to the sentiment of sixteen. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Nordica," she sighed, "I could die listening to such singing!" + </p> + <p> + Another example of her unquenchable youth has also a Chicago setting. + During the World's Fair a certain clergyman made an especially violent + stand in favor of closing the Fair grounds on Sunday. Miss Anthony took + issue with him. + </p> + <p> + "If I had charge of a young man in Chicago at this time," she told the + clergyman, "I would much rather have him locked inside the Fair grounds on + Sunday or any other day than have him going about on the outside." + </p> + <p> + The clergyman was horrified. "Would you like to have a son of yours go to + Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show on Sunday?" he demanded. + </p> + <p> + "Of course I would," admitted Miss Anthony. "In fact, I think he would + learn more there than from the sermons preached in some churches." + </p> + <p> + Later this remark was repeated to Colonel Cody ("Buffalo Bill"), who, of + course, was delighted with it. He at once wrote to Miss Anthony, thanking + her for the breadth of her views, and offering her a box for his "Show." + She had no strong desire to see the performance, but some of us urged her + to accept the invitation and to take us with her. She was always ready to + do anything that would give us pleasure, so she promised that we should go + the next afternoon. Others heard of the jaunt and begged to go also, and + Miss Anthony blithely took every applicant under her wing, with the result + that when we arrived at the box-office the next day there were twelve of + us in the group. When she presented her note and asked for a box, the + local manager looked doubtfully at the delegation. + </p> + <p> + "A box only holds six," he objected, logically. Miss Anthony, who had + given no thought to that slight detail, looked us over and smiled her + seraphic smile. + </p> + <p> + "Why, in that case," she said, cheerfully, "you'll have to give us two + boxes, won't you?" + </p> + <p> + The amused manager decided that he would, and handed her the tickets; and + she led her band to their places in triumph. When the performance began + Colonel Cody, as was his custom, entered the arena from the far end of the + building, riding his wonderful horse and bathed, of course, in the + effulgence of his faithful spot-light. He rode directly to our boxes, + reined his horse in front of Miss Anthony, rose in his stirrups, and with + his characteristic gesture swept his slouch-hat to his saddle-bow in + salutation. "Aunt Susan" immediately rose, bowed in her turn and, for the + moment as enthusiastic as a girl, waved her handkerchief at him, while the + big audience, catching the spirit of the scene, wildly applauded. It was a + striking picture this meeting of the pioneer man and woman; and, poor as I + am, I would give a hundred dollars for a snapshot of it. + </p> + <p> + On many occasions I saw instances of Miss Anthony's prescience—and + one of these was connected with the death of Frances E. Willard. "Aunt + Susan" had called on Miss Willard, and, coming to me from the sick-room, + had walked the floor, beating her hands together as she talked of the + visit. + </p> + <p> + "Frances Willard is dying," she exclaimed, passionately. "She is dying, + and she doesn't know it, and no one around her realizes it. She is lying + there, seeing into two worlds, and making more plans than a thousand women + could carry out in ten years. Her brain is wonderful. She has the most + extraordinary clearness of vision. There should be a stenographer in that + room, and every word she utters should be taken down, for every word is + golden. But they don't understand. They can't realize that she is going. I + told Anna Gordon the truth, but she won't believe it." + </p> + <p> + Miss Willard died a few days later, with a suddenness which seemed to be a + terrible shock to those around her. + </p> + <p> + Of "Aunt Susan's" really remarkable lack of selfconsciousness we who + worked close to her had a thousand extraordinary examples. Once, I + remember, at the New Orleans Convention, she reached the hall a little + late, and as she entered the great audience already assembled gave her a + tremendous reception. The exercises of the day had not yet begun, and Miss + Anthony stopped short and looked around for an explanation of the + outburst. It never for a moment occurred to her that the tribute was to + her. + </p> + <p> + "What has happened, Anna?" she asked at last. + </p> + <p> + "You happened, Aunt Susan," I had to explain. + </p> + <p> + Again, on the great "College Night" of the Baltimore Convention, when + President M. Carey Thomas of Bryn Mawr College had finished her wonderful + tribute to Miss Anthony, the audience, carried away by the speech and also + by the presence of the venerable leader on the platform, broke into a + whirlwind of applause. In this "Aunt Susan" artlessly joined, clapping her + hands as hard as she could. "This is all for you, Aunt Susan," I + whispered, "so it isn't your time to applaud." + </p> + <p> + "Aunt Susan" continued to clap. "Nonsense," she said, briskly. "It's not + for me. It's for the Cause—the Cause!" + </p> + <p> + Miss Anthony told me in 1904 that she regarded her reception in Berlin, + during the meeting of the International Council of Women that year, as the + climax of her career. She said it after the unexpected and wonderful + ovation she had received from the German people, and certainly throughout + her inspiring life nothing had happened that moved her more deeply. + </p> + <p> + For some time Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt, of whose splendid work for the + Cause I shall later have more to say, had cherished the plan of forming an + International Suffrage Alliance. She believed the time had come when the + suffragists of the entire world could meet to their common benefit; and + Miss Anthony, always Mrs. Catt's devoted friend and admirer, agreed with + her. A committee was appointed to meet in Berlin in 1904, just before the + meeting of the International Council of Women, and Miss Anthony was + appointed chairman of the committee. At first the plan of the committee + was not welcomed by the International Council; there was even a suspicion + that its purpose was to start a rival organization. But it met, a + constitution was framed, and officers were elected, Mrs. Catt—the + ideal choice for the place—being made president. As a climax to the + organization, a great public mass-meeting had been arranged by the German + suffragists, but at the special plea of the president of the International + Council Miss Anthony remained away from this meeting. It was represented + to her that the interests of the Council might suffer if she and other of + its leading speakers were also leaders in the suffrage movement. In the + interest of harmony, there fore, she followed the wishes of the Council's + president—to my great unhappiness and to that of other suffragists. + </p> + <p> + When the meeting was opened the first words of the presiding officer were, + "Where is Susan B. Anthony?" and the demonstration that followed the + question was the most unexpected and overwhelming incident of the + gathering. The entire audience rose, men jumped on their chairs, and the + cheering continued without a break for ten minutes. Every second of that + time I seemed to see Miss Anthony, alone in her hotel room, longing with + all her big heart to be with us, as we longed to have her. I prayed that + the loss of a tribute which would have meant so much might be made up to + her, and it was. Afterward, when we burst in upon her and told her of the + great demonstration the mere mention of her name had caused, her lips + quivered and her brave old eyes filled with tears. As we looked at her I + think we all realized anew that what the world called stoicism in Susan B. + Anthony throughout the years of her long struggle had been, instead, the + splendid courage of an indomitable soul—while all the time the + woman's heart had longed for affection and recognition. The next morning + the leading Berlin newspaper, in reporting the debate and describing the + spontaneous tribute to Miss Anthony, closed with these sentences: "The + Americans call her 'Aunt Susan.' She is our 'Aunt Susan,' too!" + </p> + <p> + Throughout the remainder of Miss Anthony's visit she was the most honored + figure at the International Council. Every time she entered the great + convention-hall the entire audience rose and remained standing until she + was seated; each mention of her name was punctuated by cheers; and the + enthusiasm when she appeared on the platform to say a few words was beyond + bounds. When the Empress of Germany gave her reception to the officers of + the Council, she crowned the hospitality of her people in a + characteristically gracious way. As soon as Miss Anthony was presented to + her the Empress invited her to be seated, and to remain seated, although + every one else, including the august lady herself, was standing. A little + later, seeing the intrepid warrior of eighty-four on her feet with the + other delegates, the Empress sent one of her aides across the room with + this message: "Please tell my friend Miss Anthony that I especially wish + her to be seated. We must not let her grow weary." + </p> + <p> + In her turn, Miss Anthony was fascinated by the Empress. She could not + keep her eyes off that charming royal lady. Probably the thing that most + impressed her was the ability of her Majesty as a linguist. Receiving + women from every civilized country on the globe, the Empress seemed to + address each in her own tongue-slipping from one language into the next as + easily as from one topic to another. + </p> + <p> + "And here I am," mourned "Aunt Susan," "speaking only one language, and + that not very well." + </p> + <p> + At this Berlin quinquennial, by the way, I preached the Council sermon, + and the occasion gained a certain interest from the fact that I was the + first ordained woman to preach in a church in Germany. It then took on a + tinge of humor from the additional fact that, according to the German law, + as suddenly revealed to us by the police, no clergyman was permitted to + preach unless clothed in clerical robes in the pulpit. It happened that I + had not taken my clerical robes with me—I am constantly forgetting + those clerical robes!—so the pastor of the church kindly offered me + his robes. + </p> + <p> + Now the pastor was six feet tall and broad in proportion, and I, as I have + already confessed, am very short. His robes transformed me into such an + absurd caricature of a preacher that it was quite impossible for me to + wear them. What, then, were we to do? Lacking clerical robes, the police + would not allow me to utter six words. It was finally decided that the + clergyman should meet the letter of the law by entering the pulpit in his + robes and standing by my side while I delivered my sermon. The law soberly + accepted this solution of the problem, and we offered the congregation the + extraordinary tableau of a pulpit combining a large and impressive pastor + standing silently beside a small and inwardly convulsed woman who had all + she could do to deliver her sermon with the solemnity the occasion + required. + </p> + <p> + At this same conference I made one of the few friendships I enjoy with a + member of a European royal family, for I met the Princess Blank of Italy, + who overwhelmed me with attention during my visit, and from whom I still + receive charming letters. She invited me to visit her in her castle in + Italy, and to accompany her to her mother's castle in Austria, and she + finally insisted on knowing exactly why I persistently refused both + invitations. + </p> + <p> + "Because, my dear Princess," I explained, "I am a working-woman." + </p> + <p> + "Nobody need KNOW that," murmured the Princess, calmly. + </p> + <p> + "On the contrary," I assured her, "it is the first thing I should + explain." + </p> + <p> + "But why?" the Princess wanted to know. + </p> + <p> + I studied her in silence for a moment. She was a new and interesting type + to me, and I was glad to exchange viewpoints with her. + </p> + <p> + "You are proud of your family, are you not?" I asked. "You are proud of + your great line?" + </p> + <p> + The Princess drew herself up. "Assuredly," she said. + </p> + <p> + "Very well," I continued. "I am proud, too. What I have done I have done + unaided, and, to be frank with you, I rather approve of it. My work is my + patent of nobility, and I am not willing to associate with those from whom + it would have to be concealed or with those who would look down upon it." + </p> + <p> + The Princess sighed. I was a new type to her, too, as new as she was to + me; but I had the advantage of her, for I could understand her point of + view, whereas she apparently could not follow mine. She was very gracious + to me, however, showing me kindness and friendship in a dozen ways, giving + me an immense amount of her time and taking rather more of my time than I + could spare, but never forgetting for a moment that her blood was among + the oldest in Europe, and that all her traditions were in keeping with its + honorable age. + </p> + <p> + After the Berlin meeting Miss Anthony and I were invited to spend a + week-end at the home of Mrs. Jacob Bright, that "Aunt Susan" might renew + her acquaintance with Annie Besant. This visit is among my most vivid + memories. Originally "Aunt Susan" had greatly admired Mrs. Besant, and had + openly lamented the latter's concentration on theosophical interests—when, + as Miss Anthony put it, "there are so many live problems here in this + world." Now she could not conceal her disapproval of the + "other-worldliness" of Mrs. Besant, Mrs. Bright, and her daughter. Some + remarkable and, to me, most amusing discussions took place among the + three; but often, during Mrs. Besant's most sustained oratorical flights, + Miss Anthony's interest would wander, and she would drop a remark that + showed she had not heard a word. She had a great admiration for Mrs. + Besant's intellect; but she disapproved of her flowing and picturesque + white robes, of her bare feet, of her incessant cigarette-smoking; above + all, of her views. At last, one day.{sic} the climax of the discussions + came. + </p> + <p> + "Annie," demanded "Aunt Susan," "why don't you make that aura of yours do + its gallivanting in this world, looking up the needs of the oppressed, and + investigating the causes of present wrongs? Then you could reveal to us + workers just what we should do to put things right, and we could be about + it." + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Besant sighed and said that life was short and aeons were long, and + that while every one would be perfected some time, it was useless to deal + with individuals here. + </p> + <p> + "But, Annie!" exclaimed Miss Anthony, pathetically. "We ARE here! Our + business is here! It's our duty to do what we can here." + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Besant seemed not to hear her. She was in a trance, gazing into the + aeons. + </p> + <p> + "I'd rather have one year of your ability, backed up with common sense, + for the work of making this world better," cried the exasperated "Aunt + Susan," "than a million aeons in the hereafter!" + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Besant sighed again. It was plain that she could not bring herself + back from the other world, so Miss Anthony, perforce, accompanied her to + it. + </p> + <p> + "When your aura goes visiting in the other world," she asked, curiously, + "does it ever meet your old friend Charles Bradlaugh?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh yes," declared Mrs. Besant. "Frequently." + </p> + <p> + "Wasn't he very much surprised," demanded Miss Anthony, with growing + interest, "to discover that he was not dead?" + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Besant did not seem to know what emotion Mr. Bradlaugh had + experienced when that revelation came. + </p> + <p> + "Well," mused "Aunt Susan," "I should think he would have been surprised. + He was so certain he was going to be dead that it must have been + astounding to discover he wasn't. What was he doing in the other world?" + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Besant heaved a deeper sigh. "I am very much discouraged over Mr. + Bradlaugh," she admitted, wanly. "He is hovering too near this world. He + cannot seem to get away from his mundane interests. He is as much + concerned with parliamentary affairs now as when he was on this plane." + </p> + <p> + "Humph!" said Miss Anthony; "that's the most sensible thing I've heard yet + about the other world. It encourages me. I've always felt sure that if I + entered the other life before women were enfranchised nothing in the + glories of heaven would interest me so much as the work for women's + freedom on earth. Now," she ended, "I shall be like Mr. Bradlaugh. I shall + hover round and continue my work here." + </p> + <p> + When Mrs. Besant had left the room Mrs. Bright felt that it was her duty + to admonish "Aunt Susan" to be more careful in what she said. + </p> + <p> + "You are making too light of her creed," she expostulated. "You do not + realize the important position Mrs. Besant holds. Why, in India, when she + walks from her home to her school all those she meets prostrate + themselves. Even the learned men prostrate themselves and put their faces + on the ground as she goes by." + </p> + <p> + "Aunt Susan's" voice, when she replied, took on the tones of one who is + sorely tried. "But why in Heaven's name does any sensible Englishwoman + want a lot of heathen to prostrate themselves as she goes up the street?" + she demanded, wearily. "It's the most foolish thing I ever heard." + </p> + <p> + The effort to win Miss Anthony over to the theosophical doctrine was + abandoned. That night, after we had gone to our rooms, "Aunt Susan" summed + up her conclusions on the interview: + </p> + <p> + "It's a good thing for the world," she declared, "that some of us don't + know so much. And it's a better thing for this world that some of us think + a little earthly common sense is more valuable than too much heavenly + knowledge." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + X. THE PASSING OF "AUNT SUSAN" + </h2> + <p> + On one occasion Miss Anthony had the doubtful pleasure of reading her own + obituary notices, and her interest in them was characteristically naive. + She had made a speech at Lakeside, Ohio, during which, for the first time + in her long experience, she fainted on the platform. I was not with her at + the time, and in the excitement following her collapse it was rumored that + she had died. Immediately the news was telegraphed to the Associated Press + of New York, and from there flashed over the country. At Miss Anthony's + home in Rochester a reporter rang the bell and abruptly informed her + sister, Miss Mary Anthony, who came to the door, that "Aunt Susan" was + dead. Fortunately Miss Mary had a cool head. + </p> + <p> + "I think," she said, "that if my sister had died I would have heard about + it. Please have your editors telegraph to Lakeside." + </p> + <p> + The reporter departed, but came back an hour later to say that his + newspaper had sent the telegram and the reply was that Susan B. Anthony + was dead. + </p> + <p> + "I have just received a better telegram than that," remarked Mary Anthony. + "Mine is from my sister; she tells me that she fainted to-night, but soon + recovered and will be home to-morrow." + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, the next morning the American newspapers gave much space to + Miss Anthony's obituary notices, and "Aunt Susan" spent some interesting + hours reading them. One that pleased her vastly was printed in the Wichita + Eagle, whose editor, Mr. Murdock, had been almost her bitterest opponent. + He had often exhausted his brilliant vocabulary in editorial denunciations + of suffrage and suffragists, and Miss Anthony had been the special target + of his scorn. But the news of her death seemed to be a bitter blow to him; + and of all the tributes the American press gave to Susan B. Anthony dead, + few equaled in beauty and appreciation the one penned by Mr. Murdock and + published in the Eagle. He must have been amused when, a few days later, + he received a letter from "Aunt Susan" herself, thanking him warmly for + his changed opinion of her and hoping that it meant the conversion of his + soul to our Cause. It did not, and Mr. Murdock, though never again quite + as bitter as he had been, soon resumed the free editorial expression of + his antisuffrage sentiments. Times have changed, however, and to-day his + son, now a member of Congress, is one of our strongest supporters in that + body. + </p> + <p> + In 1905 it became plain that Miss Anthony's health was failing. Her visits + to Germany and England the previous year, triumphant though they had been, + had also proved a drain on her vitality; and soon after her return to + America she entered upon a task which helped to exhaust her remaining + strength. She had been deeply interested in securing a fund of $50,000 to + enable women to enter Rochester University, and, one morning, just after + we had held a session of our executive committee in her Rochester home, + she read a newspaper announcement to the effect that at four o'clock that + afternoon the opportunity to admit women to the university would expire, + as the full fifty thousand dollars had not been raised. The sum of eight + thousand dollars was still lacking. + </p> + <p> + With characteristic energy, Miss Anthony undertook to save the situation + by raising this amount within the time limit. Rushing to the telephone, + she called a cab and prepared to go forth on her difficult quest; but + first, while she was putting on her hat and coat, she insisted that her + sister, Mary Anthony, should start the fund by contributing one thousand + dollars from her meager savings, and this Miss Mary did. "Aunt Susan" made + every second count that day, and by half after three o'clock she had + secured the necessary pledges. Several of the trustees of the university, + however, had not seemed especially anxious to have the fund raised, and at + the last moment they objected to one pledge for a thousand dollars, on the + ground that the man who had given it was very old and might die before the + time set to pay it; then his family, they feared, might repudiate the + obligation. Without a word Miss Anthony seized the pledge and wrote her + name across it as an indorsement. "I am good for it," she then said, + quietly, "if the gentleman who signed it is not." + </p> + <p> + That afternoon she returned home greatly fatigued. A few hours later the + girl students who had been waiting admission to the university came to + serenade her in recognition of her successful work for them, but she was + too ill to see them. She was passing through the first stage of what + proved to be her final breakdown. + </p> + <p> + In 1906, when the date of the annual convention of the National American + Woman Suffrage Association in Baltimore was drawing near, she became + convinced that it would be her last convention. She was right. She showed + a passionate eagerness to make it one of the greatest conventions ever + held in the history of the movement; and we, who loved her and saw that + the flame of her life was burning low, also bent all our energies to the + task of realizing her hopes. In November preceding the convention she + visited me and her niece, Miss Lucy Anthony, in our home in Mount Airy, + Philadelphia, and it was clear that her anxiety over the convention was + weighing heavily upon her. She visibly lost strength from day to day. One + morning she said abruptly, "Anna, let's go and call on President M. Carey + Thomas, of Bryn Mawr." + </p> + <p> + I wrote a note to Miss Thomas, telling her of Miss Anthony's desire to see + her, and received an immediate reply inviting us to luncheon the following + day. We found Miss Thomas deep in the work connected with her new college + buildings, over which she showed us with much pride. Miss Anthony, of + course, gloried in the splendid results Miss Thomas had achieved, but she + was, for her, strangely silent and preoccupied. At luncheon she said: + </p> + <p> + "Miss Thomas, your buildings are beautiful; your new library is a marvel; + but they are not the cause of our presence here." + </p> + <p> + "No," Miss Thomas said; "I know you have something on your mind. I am + waiting for you to tell me what it is." + </p> + <p> + "We want your co-operation, and that of Miss Garrett," began Miss Anthony, + promptly, "to make our Baltimore Convention a success. We want you to + persuade the Arundel Club of Baltimore, the most fashionable club in the + city, to give a reception to the delegates; and we want you to arrange a + college night on the programme—a great college night, with the best + college speakers ever brought together." + </p> + <p> + These were large commissions for two extremely busy women, but both Miss + Thomas and Miss Garrett—realizing Miss Anthony's intense earnestness—promised + to think over the suggestions and see what they could do. The next morning + we received a telegram from them stating that Miss Thomas would arrange + the college evening, and that Miss Garrett would reopen her Baltimore + home, which she had closed, during the convention. She also invited Miss + Anthony and me to be her guests there, and added that she would try to + arrange the reception by the Arundel Club. + </p> + <p> + "Aunt Susan" was overjoyed. I have never seen her happier than she was + over the receipt of that telegram. She knew that whatever Miss Thomas and + Miss Garrett undertook would be accomplished, and she rightly regarded the + success of the convention as already assured. Her expectations were more + than realized. The college evening was undoubtedly the most brilliant + occasion of its kind ever arranged for a convention. President Ira Remsen + of Johns Hopkins University presided, and addresses were made by President + Mary E. Woolley of Mount Holyoke, Professor Lucy Salmon of Vassar, + Professor Mary Jordan of Smith, President Thomas herself, and many others. + </p> + <p> + From beginning to end the convention was probably the most notable yet + held in our history. Julia Ward Howe and her daughter, Florence Howe Hall, + were also guests of Miss Garrett, who, moreover, entertained all the + speakers of "College Night." Miss Anthony, now eighty-six, arrived in + Baltimore quite ill, and Mrs. Howe, who was ninety, was taken ill soon + after she reached there. The two great women made a dramatic exchange on + the programme, for on the first night, when Miss Anthony was unable to + speak, Mrs. Howe took her place, and on the second night, when Mrs. Howe + had succumbed, Miss Anthony had recovered sufficiently to appear for her. + Clara Barton was also an honored figure at the convention, and Miss + Anthony's joy in the presence of all these old and dear friends was + overflowing. With them, too, were the younger women, ready to take up and + carry on the work the old leaders were laying down; and "Aunt Susan," as + she surveyed them all, felt like a general whose superb army is passing in + review before him. At the close of the college programme, when the final + address had been made by Miss Thomas, Miss Anthony rose and in a few words + expressed her feeling that her life-work was done, and her consciousness + of the near approach of the end. After that night she was unable to + appear, and was indeed so ill that she was confined to her bed in Miss + Garrett's most hospitable home. Nothing could have been more thoughtful or + more beautiful than the care Miss Garrett and Miss Thomas bestowed on her. + They engaged for her one of the best physicians in Baltimore, who, in + turn, consulted with the leading specialists of Johns Hopkins, and they + also secured a trained nurse. This final attention required special tact, + for Miss Anthony's fear of "giving trouble" was so great that she was not + willing to have a nurse. The nurse, therefore, wore a housemaid's uniform, + and "Aunt Susan" remained wholly unconscious that she was being cared for + by one of the best nurses in the famous hospital. + </p> + <p> + Between sessions of the convention I used to sit by "Aunt Susan's" bed and + tell her what was going on. She was triumphant over the immense success of + the convention, but it was clear that she was still worrying over the + details of future work. One day at luncheon Miss Thomas asked me, + casually: + </p> + <p> + "By the way, how do you raise the money to carry on your work?" + </p> + <p> + When I told her the work was wholly dependent on voluntary contributions + and on the services of those who were willing to give themselves + gratuitously to it, Miss Thomas was greatly surprised. She and Miss + Garrett asked a number of practical questions, and at the end of our talk + they looked at each other. + </p> + <p> + "I don't think," said Miss Thomas, "that we have quite done our duty in + this matter." + </p> + <p> + The next day they invited a number of us to dinner, to again discuss the + situation; and they admitted that they had sat up throughout the previous + night, talking the matter over and trying to find some way to help us. + They had also discussed the situation with Miss Anthony, to her vast + content, and had finally decided that they would try to raise a fund of + $60,000, to be paid in yearly instalments of $12,000 for five years—part + of these annual instalments to be used as salaries for the active + officers. The mere mention of so large a fund startled us all. We feared + that it could not possibly be raised. But Miss Anthony plainly believed + that now the last great wish of her life had been granted. She was + convinced that Miss Thomas and Miss Garrett could accomplish anything—even + the miracle of raising $60,000 for the suffrage cause—and they did, + though "Aunt Susan" was not here to glory over the result when they had + achieved it. + </p> + <p> + On the 15th of February we left Baltimore for Washington, where Miss + Anthony was to celebrate her eighty-sixth birthday. For many years the + National American Woman Suffrage Association had celebrated our birthdays + together, as hers came on the 15th of the month and mine on the 14th. + There had been an especially festive banquet when she was seventy-four and + I was forty-seven, and our friends had decorated the table with floral + "4's" and "7's"—the centerpiece representing "74" during the first + half of the banquet, and "47" the latter half. This time "Aunt Susan" + should not have attempted the Washington celebration, for she was still + ill and exhausted by the strain of the convention. But notwithstanding her + sufferings and the warnings of her physicians, she insisted on being + present; so Miss Garrett sent the trained nurse to Washington with her, + and we all tried to make the journey the least possible strain on the + patient's vitality. + </p> + <p> + On our arrival in Washington we went to the Shoreham, where, as always, + the proprietor took pains to give Miss Anthony a room with a view of the + Washington monument, which she greatly admired. When I entered her room a + little later I found her standing at a window, holding herself up with + hands braced against the casement on either side, and so absorbed in the + view that she did not hear my approach. When I spoke to her she answered + without turning her head. + </p> + <p> + "That," she said, softly, "is the most beautiful monument in the world." + </p> + <p> + I stood by her side, and together we looked at it in silence I realizing + with a sick heart that "Aunt Susan" knew she was seeing it for the last + time. + </p> + <p> + The birthday celebration that followed our executive meeting was an + impressive one. It was held in the Church of Our Father, whose pastor, the + Rev. John Van Schaick, had always been exceedingly kind to Miss Anthony. + Many prominent men spoke. President Roosevelt and other statesmen sent + most friendly letters, and William H. Taft had promised to be present. He + did not come, nor did he, then or later, send any excuse for not coming—an + omission that greatly disappointed Miss Anthony, who had always admired + him. I presided at the meeting, and though we all did our best to make it + gay, a strange hush hung over the assemblage a solemn stillness, such as + one feels in the presence of death. We became more and more conscious that + Miss Anthony was suffering, and we hastened the exercises all we could. + When I read President Roosevelt's long tribute to her, Miss Anthony rose + to comment on it. + </p> + <p> + "One word from President Roosevelt in his message to Congress," she said, + a little wearily, "would be worth a thousand eulogies of Susan B. Anthony. + When will men learn that what we ask is not praise, but justice?" + </p> + <p> + At the close of the meeting, realizing how weak she was, I begged her to + let me speak for her. But she again rose, rested her hand on my shoulder, + and, standing by my side, uttered the last words she ever spoke in public, + pleading with women to consecrate themselves to the Cause, assuring them + that no power could prevent its ultimate success, but reminding them also + that the time of its coming would depend wholly on their work and their + loyalty. She ended with three words—very fitting words from her + lips, expressing as they did the spirit of her life-work—"FAILURE IS + IMPOSSIBLE." + </p> + <p> + The next morning she was taken to her home in Rochester, and one month + from that day we conducted her funeral services. The nurse who had + accompanied her from Baltimore remained with her until two others had been + secured to take her place, and every care that love or medical science + could suggest was lavished on the patient. But from the first it was plain + that, as she herself had foretold, "Aunt Susan's" soul was merely waiting + for the hour of its passing. + </p> + <p> + One of her characteristic traits was a dislike to being seen, even by + those nearest to her, when she was not well. During the first three weeks + of her last illness, therefore, I did what she wished me to do—I + continued our work, trying to do hers as well as my own. But all the time + my heart was in her sick-room, and at last the day came when I could no + longer remain away from her. I had awakened in the morning with a strong + conviction that she needed me, and at the breakfast-table I announced to + her niece, Miss Lucy Anthony, the friend who for years has shared my home, + that I was going at once to "Aunt Susan." + </p> + <p> + "I shall not even wait to telegraph," I declared. "I am sure she has sent + for me; I shall take the first train." + </p> + <p> + The journey brought me very close to death. As we were approaching + Wilkes-Barre our train ran into a wagon loaded with powder and dynamite, + which had been left on the track. The horses attached to it had been + unhitched by their driver, who had spent his time in this effort, when he + saw the train coming, instead of in signaling to the engineer. I was on my + way to the dining-car when the collision occurred, and, with every one + else who happened to be standing, I was hurled to the floor by the impact; + flash after flash of blinding light outside, accompanied by a terrific + roar, added to the panic of the passengers. When the train stopped we + learned how narrow had been our escape from an especially unpleasant form + of death. The dynamite in the wagon was frozen, and therefore had not + exploded; it was the explosion of the powder that had caused the flashes + and the din. The dark-green cars were burned almost white, and as we stood + staring at them, a silent, stunned group, our conductor said, quietly, + "You will never be as near death again, and escape, as you have been + to-day." + </p> + <p> + The accident caused a long delay, and it was ten o'clock at night when I + reached Rochester and Miss Anthony's home. As I entered the house Miss + Mary Anthony rose in surprise to greet me. + </p> + <p> + "How did you get here so soon?" she cried. And then: "We sent for you this + afternoon. Susan has been asking for you all day." + </p> + <p> + When I reached my friend's bedside one glance at her face showed me the + end was near; and from that time until it came, almost a week later, I + remained with her; while again, as always, she talked of the Cause, and of + the life-work she must now lay down. The first thing she spoke of was her + will, which she had made several years before, and in which she had left + the small property she possessed to her sister Mary, her niece Lucy, and + myself, with instructions as to the use we three were to make of it. Now + she told me we were to pay no attention to these instructions, but to give + every dollar of her money to the $60,000 fund Miss Thomas and Miss Garrett + were trying to raise. She was vitally interested in this fund, as its + success meant that for five years the active officers of the National + American Woman Suffrage Association, including myself as president, would + for the first time receive salaries for our work. When she had given her + instructions on this point she still seemed depressed. + </p> + <p> + "I wish I could live on," she said, wistfully. "But I cannot. My spirit is + eager and my heart is as young as it ever was, but my poor old body is + worn out. Before I go I want you to give me a promise: Promise me that you + will keep the presidency of the association as long as you are well enough + to do the work." + </p> + <p> + "But how can I promise that?" I asked. "I can keep it only as long as + others wish me to keep it." + </p> + <p> + "Promise to make them wish you to keep it," she urged. "Just as I wish you + to keep it." + </p> + <p> + I would have promised her anything then. So, though I knew that to hold + the presidency would tie me to a position that brought in no living + income, and though for several years past I had already drawn alarmingly + upon my small financial reserve, I promised her that I would hold the + office as long as the majority of the women in the association wished me + to do so. "But," I added, "if the time comes when I believe that some one + else can do better work in the presidency than I, then let me feel at + liberty to resign it." + </p> + <p> + This did not satisfy her. + </p> + <p> + "No, no," she objected. "You cannot be the judge of that. Promise me you + will remain until the friends you most trust tell you it is time to + withdraw, or make you understand that it is time. Promise me that." + </p> + <p> + I made the promise. She seemed content, and again began to talk of the + future. + </p> + <p> + "You will not have an easy path," she warned me. "In some ways it will be + harder for you than it has ever been for me. I was so much older than the + rest of you, and I had been president so long, that you girls have all + been willing to listen to me. It will be different with you. Other women + of your own age have been in the work almost as long as you have been; you + do not stand out from them by age or length of service, as I did. There + will be inevitable jealousies and misunderstandings; there will be all + sorts of criticism and misrepresentation. My last word to you is this: No + matter what is done or is not done, how you are criticized or + misunderstood, or what efforts are made to block your path, remember that + the only fear you need have is the fear of not standing by the thing you + believe to be right. Take your stand and hold it; then let come what will, + and receive blows like a good soldier." + </p> + <p> + I was too much overcome to answer her; and after a moment of silence she, + in her turn, made me a promise. + </p> + <p> + "I do not know anything about what comes to us after this life ends," she + said. "But if there is a continuance of life beyond it, and if I have any + conscious knowledge of this world and of what you are doing, I shall not + be far away from you; and in times of need I will help you all I can. Who + knows? Perhaps I may be able to do more for the Cause after I am gone than + while I am here." + </p> + <p> + Nine years have passed since then, and in each day of them all it seems to + me, in looking back, I have had some occasion to recall her words. When + they were uttered I did not fully comprehend all they meant, or the + clearness of the vision that had suggested them. It seemed to me that no + position I could hold would be of sufficient importance to attract + jealousy or personal attacks. The years have brought more wisdom; I have + learned that any one who assumes leadership, or who, like myself, has had + leadership forced upon her, must expect to bear many things of which the + world knows nothing. But with this knowledge, too, has come the memory of + "Aunt Susan's" last promise, and again and yet again in hours of + discouragement and despair I have been helped by the blessed conviction + that she was keeping it. + </p> + <p> + During the last forty-eight hours of her life she was unwilling that I + should leave her side. So day and night I knelt by her bed, holding her + hand and watching the flame of her wonderful spirit grow dim. At times, + even then, it blazed up with startling suddenness. On the last afternoon + of her life, when she had lain quiet for hours, she suddenly began to + utter the names of the women who had worked with her, as if in a final + roll-call. Many of them had preceded her into the next world; others were + still splendidly active in the work she was laying down. But young or old, + living or dead, they all seemed to file past her dying eyes that day in an + endless, shadowy review, and as they went by she spoke to each of them. + </p> + <p> + Not all the names she mentioned were known in suffrage ranks; some of + these women lived only in the heart of Susan B. Anthony, and now, for the + last time, she was thanking them for what they had done. Here was one who, + at a moment of special need, had given her small savings; here was another + who had won valuable recruits to the Cause; this one had written a strong + editorial; that one had made a stirring speech. In these final hours it + seemed that not a single sacrifice or service, however small, had been + forgotten by the dying leader. Last of all, she spoke to the women who had + been on her board and had stood by her loyally so long—Rachel Foster + Avery, Alice Stone Blackwell, Carrie Chapman Catt, Mrs. Upton, Laura Clay, + and others. Then, after lying in silence for a long time with her cheek on + my hand, she murmured: "They are still passing before me—face after + face, hundreds and hundreds of them, representing all the efforts of fifty + years. I know how hard they have worked I know the sacrifices they have + made. But it has all been worth while!" + </p> + <p> + Just before she lapsed into unconsciousness she seemed restless and + anxious to say something, searching my face with her dimming eyes. + </p> + <p> + "Do you want me to repeat my promise?" I asked, for she had already made + me do so several times. She made a sign of assent, and I gave her the + assurance she desired. As I did so she raised my hand to her lips and + kissed it—her last conscious action. For more than thirty hours + after that I knelt by her side, but though she clung to my hand until her + own hand grew cold, she did not speak again. + </p> + <p> + She had told me over and over how much our long friendship and association + had meant to her, and the comfort I had given her. But whatever I may have + been to her, it was as nothing compared with what she was to me. Kneeling + close to her as she passed away, I knew that I would have given her a + dozen lives had I had them, and endured a thousand times more hardship + than we had borne together, for the inspiration of her companionship and + the joy of her affection. They were the greatest blessings I have had in + all my life, and I cherish as my dearest treasure the volume of her + History of Woman Suffrage on the fly-leaf of which she had written this + inscription: + </p> + <p> + REVEREND ANNA HOWARD SHAW: + </p> + <p> + This huge volume IV I present to you with the love that a mother beareth, + and I hope you will find in it the facts about women, for you will find + them nowhere else. Your part will be to see that the four volumes are duly + placed in the libraries of the country, where every student of history may + have access to them. + </p> + <p> + With unbounded love and faith, + </p> + <p> + SUSAN B. ANTHONY. + </p> + <p> + That final line is still my greatest comfort. When I am misrepresented or + misunderstood, when I am accused of personal ambition or of working for + personal ends, I turn to it and to similar lines penned by the same hand, + and tell myself that I should not allow anything to interfere with the + serenity of my spirit or to disturb me in my work. At the end of eighteen + years of the most intimate companionship, the leader of our Cause, the + greatest woman I have ever known, still felt for me "unbounded love and + faith." Having had that, I have had enough. + </p> + <p> + For two days after "Aunt Susan's" death she lay in her own home, as if in + restful slumber, her face wearing its most exquisite look of peaceful + serenity; and here her special friends, the poor and the unfortunate of + the city, came by hundreds to pay their last respects. On the third day + there was a public funeral, held in the Congregational church, and, though + a wild blizzard was raging, every one in Rochester seemed included in the + great throng of mourners who came to her bier in reverence and left it in + tears. The church services were conducted by the pastor, the Rev. C. C. + Albertson, a lifelong friend of Miss Anthony's, assisted by the Rev. + William C. Gannett. James G. Potter, the Mayor of the city, and Dr. Rush + Rhees, president of Rochester University, occupied prominent places among + the distinguished mourners, and Mrs. Jerome Jeffries, the head of a + colored school, spoke in behalf of the negro race and its recognition of + Miss Anthony's services. College clubs, medical societies, and reform + groups were represented by delegates sent from different states, and Miss + Anna Gordon had come on from Illinois to represent the Woman's National + Christian Temperance Union. Mrs. Catt delivered a eulogy in which she + expressed the love and recognition of the organized suffrage women of the + world for Miss Anthony, as the one to whom they had all looked as their + leader. William Lloyd Garrison spoke of Miss Anthony's work with his + father and other antislavery leaders, and Mrs. Jean Brooks Greenleaf spoke + in behalf of the New York State Suffrage Association. Then, as "Aunt + Susan" had requested, I made the closing address. She had asked me to do + this and to pronounce the benediction, as well as to say the final words + at her grave. + </p> + <p> + It was estimated that more than ten thousand persons were assembled in and + around the church, and after the benediction those who had been patiently + waiting out in the storm were permitted to pass inside in single file for + a last look at their friend. They found the coffin covered by a large + American flag, on which lay a wreath of laurel and palms; around it stood + a guard of honor composed of girl students of Rochester University in + their college caps and gowns. All day students had mounted guard, + relieving one another at intervals. On every side there were flowers and + floral emblems sent by various organizations, and just over "Aunt Susan's" + head floated the silk flag given to her by the women of Colorado. It + contained four gold stars, representing the four enfranchised states, + while the other stars were in silver. On her breast was pinned the jeweled + flag given to her on her eightieth birthday by the women of Wyoming—the + first place in the world where in the constitution of the state women were + given equal political rights with men. Here the four stars representing + the enfranchised states were made of diamonds, the others of silver + enamel. Just before the lid was fastened on the coffin this flag was + removed and handed to Mary Anthony, who presented it to me. From that day + I have worn it on every occasion of importance to our Cause, and each time + a state is won for woman suffrage I have added a new diamond star. At the + time I write this—in 1914—there are twelve. + </p> + <p> + As the funeral procession went through the streets of Rochester it was + seen that all the city flags were at half-mast, by order of the City + Council. Many houses were draped in black, and the grief of the citizens + manifested itself on every side. All the way to Mount Hope Cemetery the + snow whirled blindingly around us, while the masses that had fallen + covered the earth as far as we could see a fitting winding-sheet for the + one who had gone. Under the fir-trees around her open grave I obeyed "Aunt + Susan's" wish that I should utter the last words spoken over her body as + she was laid to rest: + </p> + <p> + "Dear friend," I said, "thou hast tarried with us long. Now thou hast gone + to thy well-earned rest. We beseech the Infinite Spirit Who has upheld + thee to make us worthy to follow in thy steps and to carry on thy work. + Hail and farewell." + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XI. THE WIDENING SUFFRAGE STREAM + </h2> + <p> + In my chapters on Miss Anthony I bridged the twenty years between 1886 and + 1906, omitting many of the stirring suffrage events of that long period, + in my desire to concentrate on those which most vitally concerned her. I + must now retrace my steps along the widening suffrage stream and describe, + consecutively at least, and as fully as these incomplete reminiscences + will permit, other incidents that occurred on its banks. + </p> + <p> + Of these the most important was the union in 1889 of the two great + suffrage societies—the American Association, of which Lucy Stone was + the president, and the National Association, headed by Susan B. Anthony + and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. At a convention held in Washington these + societies were merged as The National American Woman Suffrage Association—the + name our association still bears—and Mrs. Stanton was elected + president. She was then nearly eighty and past active work, but she made a + wonderful presiding officer at our subsequent meetings, and she was as + picturesque as she was efficient. + </p> + <p> + Miss Anthony, who had an immense admiration for her and a great personal + pride in her, always escorted her to the capital, and, having worked her + utmost to make the meeting a success, invariably gave Mrs. Stanton credit + for all that was accomplished. She often said that Mrs. Stanton was the + brains of the new association, while she herself was merely its hands and + feet; but in truth the two women worked marvelously together, for Mrs. + Stanton was a master of words and could write and speak to perfection of + the things Susan B. Anthony saw and felt but could not herself express. + Usually Miss Anthony went to Mrs. Stanton's house and took charge of it + while she stimulated the venerable president to the writing of her annual + address. Then, at the subsequent convention, she would listen to the + report with as much delight and pleasure as if each word of it had been + new to her. Even after Mrs. Stanton's resignation from the presidency—at + the end, I think, of three years—and Miss Anthony's election as her + successor, "Aunt Susan" still went to her old friend whenever an important + resolution was to be written, and Mrs. Stanton loyally drafted it for her. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Stanton was the most brilliant conversationalist I have ever known; + and the best talk I have heard anywhere was that to which I used to listen + in the home of Mrs. Eliza Wright Osborne, in Auburn, New York, when Mrs. + Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, Emily Howland, Elizabeth Smith Miller, Ida + Husted Harper, Miss Mills, and I were gathered there for our occasional + week-end visits. Mrs. Osborne inherited her suffrage sympathies, for she + was the daughter of Martha Wright, who, with Mrs. Stanton and Lucretia + Mott, called the first suffrage convention in Seneca Falls, New York. I + must add in passing that her son, Thomas Mott Osborne, who is doing such + admirable work in prison reform at Sing Sing, has shown himself worthy of + the gifted and high-minded mother who gave him to the world. + </p> + <p> + Most of the conversation in Mrs. Osborne's home was contributed by Mrs. + Stanton and Miss Anthony, while the rest of us sat, as it were, at their + feet. Many human and feminine touches brightened the lofty discussions + that were constantly going on, and the varied characteristics of our + leaders cropped up in amusing fashion. Mrs. Stanton, for example, was + rarely accurate in giving figures or dates, while Miss Anthony was always + very exact in such matters. She frequently corrected Mrs. Stanton's + statements, and Mrs. Stanton usually took the interruption in the best + possible spirit, promptly admitting that "Aunt Susan" knew best. On one + occasion I recall, however, she held fast to her opinion that she was + right as to the month in which a certain incident had occurred. + </p> + <p> + "No, Susan," she insisted, "you're wrong for once. I remember perfectly + when that happened, for it was at the time I was beginning to wean + Harriet." + </p> + <p> + Aunt Susan, though somewhat staggered by the force of this testimony, + still maintained that Mrs. Stanton must be mistaken, whereupon the latter + repeated, in exasperation, "I tell you it happened when I was weaning + Harriet." And she added, scornfully, "What event have you got to reckon + from?" + </p> + <p> + Miss Anthony meekly subsided. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Stanton had wonderful blue eyes, which held to the end of her life an + expression of eternal youth. During our conventions she usually took a + little nap in the afternoon, and when she awoke her blue eyes always had + an expression of pleased and innocent surprise, as if she were gazing on + the world for the first time—the round, unwinking, interested look a + baby's eyes have when something attractive is held up before them. + </p> + <p> + Let me give in a paragraph, before I swing off into the bypaths that + always allure me, the consecutive suffrage events of the past quarter of a + century. Having done this, I can dwell on each as casually as I choose, + for it is possible to describe only a few incidents here and there; and I + shall not be departing from the story of my life, for my life had become + merged in the suffrage cause. + </p> + <p> + Of the preliminary suffrage campaigns in Kansas, made in company with + "Aunt Susan," I have already written, and it remains only to say that + during the second Kansas campaign yellow was adopted as the suffrage + color. In 1890, '92, and '93 we again worked in Kansas and in South + Dakota, with such indefatigable and brilliant speakers as Mrs. Catt (to + whose efforts also were largely due the winning of Colorado in '93), Mrs. + Laura Johns of Kansas, Mrs. Julia Nelson, Henry B. Blackwell, Dr. Helen V. + Putnam of Dakota, Mrs. Emma Smith DeVoe, Rev. Olympia Browne of Wisconsin, + and Dr. Mary Seymour Howell of New York. In '94, '95, and '96 special + efforts were devoted to Idaho, Utah, California, and Washington, and from + then on our campaigns were waged steadily in the Western states. + </p> + <p> + The Colorado victory gave us two full suffrage states, for in 1869 the + Territory of Wyoming had enfranchised women under very interesting + conditions, not now generally remembered. The achievement was due to the + influence of one woman, Esther Morris, a pioneer who was as good a + neighbor as she was a suffragist. In those early days, in homes far from + physicians and surgeons, the women cared for one another in sickness, and + Esther Morris, as it happened, once took full and skilful charge of a + neighbor during the difficult birth of the latter's child. She had done + the same thing for many other women, but this woman's husband was + especially grateful. He was also a member of the Legislature, and he told + Mrs. Morris that if there was any measure she wished put through for the + women of the territory he would be glad to introduce it. She immediately + took him at his word by asking him to introduce a bill enfranchising + women, and he promptly did so. + </p> + <p> + The Legislature was Democratic, and it pounced upon the measure as a huge + joke. With the amiable purpose of embarrassing the Governor of the + territory, who was a Republican and had been appointed by the President, + the members passed the bill and put it up to him to veto. To their + combined horror and amazement, the young Governor did nothing of the kind. + He had come, as it happened, from Salem, Ohio, one of the first towns in + the United States in which a suffrage convention was held. There, as a + boy, he had heard Susan B. Anthony make a speech, and he had carried into + the years the impression it made upon him. He signed that bill; and, as + the Legislature could not get a two-thirds vote to kill it, the disgusted + members had to make the best of the matter. The following year a Democrat + introduced a bill to repeal the measure, but already public sentiment had + changed and he was laughed down. After that no further effort was ever + made to take the ballot away from the women of Wyoming. + </p> + <p> + When the territory applied for statehood, it was feared that the + woman-suffrage clause in the constitution might injure its chance of + admission, and the women sent this telegram to Joseph M. Carey: + </p> + <p> + "Drop us if you must. We can trust the men of Wyoming to enfranchise us + after our territory becomes a state." + </p> + <p> + Mr. Carey discussed this telegram with the other men who were urging upon + Congress the admission of their territory, and the following reply went + back: + </p> + <p> + "We may stay out of the Union a hundred years, but we will come in with + our women." + </p> + <p> + There is great inspiration in those two messages—and a great lesson, + as well. + </p> + <p> + In 1894 we conducted a campaign in New York, when an effort was made to + secure a clause to enfranchise women in the new state constitution; and + for the first time in the history of the woman-suffrage movement many of + the influential women in the state and city of New York took an active + part in the work. Miss Anthony was, as always, our leader and greatest + inspiration. Mrs. John Brooks Greenleaf was state president, and Miss Mary + Anthony was the most active worker in the Rochester headquarters. Mrs. + Lily Devereaux Blake had charge of the campaign in New York City, and Mrs. + Marianna Chapman looked after the Brooklyn section, while a most + stimulating sign of the times was the organization of a committee of New + York women of wealth and social influence, who established their + headquarters at Sherry's. Among these were Mrs. Josephine Shaw Lowell, + Mrs. Joseph H. Choate, Dr. Mary Putnam Jacobi, Mrs. J. Warren Goddard, and + Mrs. Robert Abbe. Miss Anthony, then in her seventy-fifth year, spoke in + every county of the state sixty in all. I spoke in forty, and Mrs. Catt, + as always, made a superb record. Miss Harriet May Mills, a graduate of + Cornell, and Miss Mary G. Hay, did admirable organization work in the + different counties. Our disappointment over the result was greatly soothed + by the fact that only two years later both Idaho and Utah swung into line + as full suffrage states, though California, in which we had labored with + equal zeal, waited fifteen years longer. + </p> + <p> + Among these campaigns, and overlapping them, were our annual conventions—each + of which I attended from 1888 on—and the national and international + councils, to a number of which, also, I have given preliminary mention. + When Susan B. Anthony died in 1906, four American states had granted + suffrage to woman. At the time I write—1914—the result of the + American women's work for suffrage may be briefly tabulated thus: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + SUFFRAGE STATUS + + FULL SUFFRAGE FOR WOMEN + + Number of + State Year Won Electoral Votes + Wyoming 1869 3 + Colorado 1893 6 + Idaho 1896 4 + Utah 1896 4 + Washington 1910 7 + California 1911 13 + Arizona 1912 3 + Kansas 1912 10 + Oregon 1912 5 + Alaska 1913 — + Nevada 1914 3 + Montana 1914 4 +</pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + PRESIDENTIAL AND MUNICIPAL SUFFRAGE FOR WOMEN + Number of + State Year Won Electoral Votes + + Illinois 1913 29 +</pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + STATES WHERE AMENDMENT HAS PASSED ONE LEGISLATURE AND + MUST PASS ANOTHER + + Number Goes to + State House Senate Voters Electoral Votes + Iowa 81-26 31-15 1916 13 + Massachusetts 169-39 34-2 1915 18 + New Jersey 49-4 15-3 1915 14 + New York 125-5 40-2 1915 45 + North Dakota 77-29 31-19 1916 5 + Pennsylvania 131-70 26-22 1915 38 +</pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + To tabulate the wonderful work done by the + conventions and councils is not possible, but a con + secutive list of the meetings would run like this: +</pre> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + First National Convention, Washington, D.C., 1887. + First International Council of Women, Washington, D.C., 1888. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1889. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1890. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1891. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1892. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1893. + International Council, Chicago, 1893. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1894. + National Suffrage Convention, Atlanta, Ga., 1895. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1896. + National Suffrage Convention, Des Moines, Iowa, 1897. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1898. + National Suffrage Convention, Grand Rapids, Mich., 1899. + International Council, London, England, 1899. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1900. + National Suffrage Convention, Minneapolis, Minn., 1901. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1902. + National Suffrage Convention, New Orleans, La., 1903. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1904. + International Council of Women, Berlin, Germany, 1904. + Formation of Intern'l Suffrage Alliance, Berlin, Germany, 1904. + National Suffrage Convention, Portland, Oregon, 1905. + National Suffrage Convention, Baltimore, Md., 1906. + International Suffrage Alliance, Copenhagen, Denmark, 1906. + National Suffrage Convention, Chicago, III., 1907. + International Suffrage Alliance, Amsterdam, Holland, 1908. + National Suffrage Convention, Buffalo, N. Y., 1908. + New York Headquarters established, 1909. + National Suffrage Convention, Seattle, Wash., 1909. + International Suffrage Alliance, London, England, 1909. + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1910. + International Council, Genoa, Italy, 1911. + National Suffrage Convention, Louisville, Ky., 1911. + International Suffrage Alliance, Stockholm, Sweden, 1911. + National Suffrage Convention, Philadelphia, Pa., 1912. + International Council, The Hague, Holland, 1913 + National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C.; 1913. + International Suffrage Alliance, Budapest, Hungary, 1913. + National Suffrage Convention, Nashville, Tenn., 1914. + International Council, Rome, Italy, 1914. +</pre> + <p> + The winning of the suffrage states, the work in the states not yet won, + the conventions, gatherings, and international councils in which women of + every nation have come together, have all combined to make this quarter of + a century the most brilliant period for women in the history of the world. + I have set forth the record baldly and without comment, because the bare + facts are far more eloquent than words. It must not be forgotten, too, + that these great achievements of the progressive women of to-day have been + accomplished against the opposition of a large number of their own sex—who, + while they are out in the world's arena fighting against progress for + their sisters, still shatter the ear-drum with their incongruous war-cry, + "Woman's place is in the home!" here: We were attending the Republican + state nominating convention at Mitchell—Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt, + other leaders, and myself—having been told that it would be at once + the largest and the most interesting gathering ever held in the state as + it proved to be. All the leading politicians of the state were there, and + in the wake of the white men had come tribes of Indians with their camp + outfits, their wives and their children—the groups forming a + picturesque circle of tents and tepees around the town. It was a great + occasion for them, an Indian powwow, for by the law all Indians who had + lands in severalty were to be permitted to vote the following year. They + were present, therefore, to study the ways of the white man, and an + edifying exhibition of these was promptly offered them. + </p> + <p> + The crowd was so great that it was only through the courtesy of Major + Pickler, a member of Congress and a devoted believer in suffrage, that + Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt, and the rest of us were able to secure passes to + the convention, and when we reached the hall we were escorted to the last + row of seats on the crowded platform. As the space between us and the + speakers was filled by rows upon rows of men, as well as by the band and + their instruments, we could see very little that took place. Some of our + friends pointed out this condition to the local committee and asked that + we be given seats on the floor, but received the reply that there was + "absolutely no room on the floor except for delegates and distinguished + visitors." Our persistent friends then suggested that at least a front + seat should be given to Miss Anthony, who certainly came under the head of + a "distinguished visitor"; but this was not done—probably because a + large number of the best seats were filled by Russian laborers wearing + badges inscribed "Against Woman Suffrage and Susan B. Anthony." We + remained, perforce, in our rear seats, finding such interest as we could + in the back view of hundreds of heads. + </p> + <p> + Just before the convention was called to order it was announced that a + delegation of influential Indians was waiting outside, and a motion to + invite the red men into the hall was made and carried with great + enthusiasm. A committee of leading citizens was appointed to act as + escort, and these gentlemen filed out, returning a few moments later with + a party of Indian warriors in full war regalia, even to their gay + blankets, their feathered head-dresses, and their paint. When they + appeared the band struck up a stirring march of welcome, and the entire + audience cheered while the Indians, flanked by the admiring committee, + stalked solemnly down the aisle and were given seats of honor directly in + front of the platform. + </p> + <p> + All we could see of them were the brilliant feathers of their war-bonnets, + but we got the full effect of their reception in the music and the cheers. + I dared not look at Miss Anthony during this remarkable scene, and she, + craning her venerable neck to get a glimpse of the incident from her + obscure corner, made no comment to me; but I knew what she was thinking. + The following year these Indians would have votes. Courtesy, therefore, + must be shown them. But the women did not matter, the politicians + reasoned, for even if they were enfranchised they would never support the + element represented at that convention. It was not surprising that, + notwithstanding our hard work, we did not win the state, though all the + conditions had seemed most favorable; for the state was new, the men and + women were working side by side in the fields, and there was discontent in + the ranks of the political parties. + </p> + <p> + After the election, when we analyzed the vote county by county, we + discovered that in every county whose residents were principally Americans + the amendment was carried, whereas in all counties populated largely by + foreigners it was lost. In certain counties—those inhabited by + Russian Jews—the vote was almost solidly against us, and this + notwithstanding the fact that the wives of these Russian voters were doing + a man's work on their farms in addition to the usual women's work in their + homes. The fact that our Cause could be defeated by ignorant laborers + newly come to our country was a humiliating one to accept; and we realized + more forcibly than ever before the difficulty of the task we had assumed—a + task far beyond any ever undertaken by a body of men in the history of + democratic government throughout the world. We not only had to bring + American men back to a belief in the fundamental principles of republican + government, but we had also to educate ignorant immigrants, as well as our + own Indians, whose degree of civilization was indicated by their war-paint + and the flaunting feathers of their head-dresses. + </p> + <p> + The Kansas campaign, which Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt, Mrs. Johns, and I + conducted in 1894, held a special interest, due to the Populist movement. + There were so many problems before the people—prohibition, free + silver, and the Populist propaganda—that we found ourselves involved + in the bitterest campaign ever fought out in the state. Our desire, of + course, was to get the indorsement of the different political parties and + religious bodies, We succeeded in obtaining that of three out of four of + the Methodist Episcopal conferences—the Congregational, the Epworth + League, and the Christian Endeavor League—as well as that of the + State Teachers' Association, the Woman's Christian Temperance Union, and + various other religious and philanthropic societies. To obtain the + indorsement of the political parties was much more difficult, and we were + facing conditions in which partial success was worse than complete + failure. It had long been an unwritten law before it became a written law + in our National Association that we must not take partisan action or line + up with any one political party. It was highly important, therefore, that + either all parties should support us or that none should. + </p> + <p> + The Populist convention was held in Topeka before either the Democratic or + Republican convention, and after two days of vigorous fighting, led by + Mrs. Anna Diggs and other prominent Populist women, a suffrage plank was + added to the platform. The Populist party invited me, as a minister, to + open the convention with prayer. This was an innovation, and served as a + wedge for the admission of women representatives of the Suffrage + Association to address the convention. We all did so, Miss Anthony + speaking first, Mrs. Catt second, and I last; after which, for the first + time in history, the Doxology was sung at a political convention. + </p> + <p> + At the Democratic convention we made the same appeal, and were refused. + Instead of indorsing us, the Democrats put an anti-suffrage plank in their + platform—but this, as the party had little standing in Kansas, + probably did us more good than harm. Trouble came thick and fast, however, + when the Republicans, the dominant party in the state, held their + convention; and a mighty struggle began over the admission of a suffrage + plank. There was a Woman's Republican Club in Kansas, which held its + convention in Topeka at the same time the Republicans were holding theirs. + There was also a Mrs. Judith Ellen Foster, who, by stirring up opposition + in this Republican Club against the insertion of a suffrage plank, caused + a serious split in the convention. Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt, and I, of + course, urged the Republican women to stand by their sex, and to give + their support to the Republicans only on condition that the latter added + suffrage to their platform. At no time, and in no field of work, have I + ever seen a more bitter conflict in progress than that which raged for two + days during this Republican women's convention. Liquor-dealers, + joint-keepers, "boot-leggers," and all the lawless element of Kansas swung + into line at a special convention held under the auspices of the Liquor + League of Kansas City, and cast their united weight against suffrage by + threatening to deny their votes to any candidate or political party + favoring our Cause. The Republican women's convention finally adjourned + with nothing accomplished except the passing of a resolution mildly + requesting the Republican party to indorse woman suffrage. The result was, + of course, that it was not indorsed by the Republican convention, and that + it was defeated at the following election. + </p> + <p> + It was at the time of these campaigns that I was elected Vice-President of + the National Association and Lecturer at Large, and the latter office + brought in its train a glittering variety of experiences. On one occasion + an episode occurred which "Aunt Susan" never afterward wearied of + describing. There was a wreck somewhere on the road on which I was to + travel to meet a lecture engagement, and the trains going my way were not + running. Looking up the track, however, I saw a train coming from the + opposite direction. I at once grasped my hand-luggage and started for it. + </p> + <p> + "Wait! Wait!" cried Miss Anthony. "That train's going the wrong way!" + </p> + <p> + "At least it's going SOMEWHERE!" I replied, tersely, as the train stopped, + and I climbed the steps. + </p> + <p> + Looking back when the train had started again, I saw "Aunt Susan" standing + in the same spot on the platform and staring after it with incredulous + eyes; but I was right, for I discovered that by going up into another + state I could get a train which would take me to my destination in time + for the lecture that night. It was a fine illustration of my pet theory + that if one intends to get somewhere it is better to start, even in the + wrong direction, than to stand still. + </p> + <p> + Again and again in our work we had occasion to marvel over men's lack of + understanding of the views of women, even of those nearest and dearest to + them; and we had an especially striking illustration of this at one of our + hearings in Washington. A certain distinguished gentleman (we will call + him Mr. H——) was chairman of the Judiciary, and after we had + said what we wished to say, he remarked: + </p> + <p> + "Your arguments are logical. Your cause is just. The trouble is that women + don't want suffrage. My wife doesn't want it. I don't know a single woman + who does want it." + </p> + <p> + As it happened for this unfortunate gentleman, his wife was present at the + hearing and sitting beside Miss Anthony. She listened to his words with + surprise, and then whispered to "Aunt Susan": + </p> + <p> + "How CAN he say that? <i>I</i> want suffrage, and I've told him so a + hundred times in the last twenty years." + </p> + <p> + "Tell him again NOW," urged Miss Anthony. "Here's your chance to impress + it on his memory." + </p> + <p> + "Here!" gasped the wife. "Oh, I wouldn't dare." + </p> + <p> + "Then may I tell him?" + </p> + <p> + "Why—yes! He can think what he pleases, but he has no right to + publicly misrepresent me." + </p> + <p> + The assent, hesitatingly begun, finished on a sudden note of firmness. + Miss Anthony stood up. + </p> + <p> + "It may interest Mr. H——," she said, "to know that his wife + DOES wish to vote, and that for twenty years she has wished to vote, and + has often told him so, though he has evidently forgotten it. She is here + beside me, and has just made this explanation." + </p> + <p> + Mr. H—— stammered and hesitated, and finally decided to laugh. + But there was no mirth in the sound he made, and I am afraid his wife had + a bad quarter of an hour when they met a little later in the privacy of + their home. + </p> + <p> + Among other duties that fell to my lot at this period were numerous + suffrage debates with prominent opponents of the Cause. I have already + referred to the debate in Kansas with Senator Ingalls. Equaling this in + importance was a bout with Dr. Buckley, the distinguished Methodist + debater, which had been arranged for us at Chautauqua by Bishop Vincent of + the Methodist Church. The bishop was not a believer in suffrage, nor was + he one of my admirers. I had once aroused his ire by replying to a sermon + he had delivered on "God's Women," and by proving, to my own satisfaction + at least, that the women he thought were God's women had done very little, + whereas the work of the world had been done by those he believed were not + "God's Women." There was considerable interest, therefore, in the + Buckley-Shaw debate he had arranged; we all knew he expected Dr. Buckley + to wipe out that old score, and I was determined to make it as difficult + as possible for the distinguished gentleman to do so. We held the debate + on two succeeding days, I speaking one afternoon and Dr. Buckley replying + the following day. On the evening before I spoke, however, Dr. Buckley + made an indiscreet remark, which, blown about Chautauqua on the light + breeze of gossip, was generally regarded as both unchivalrous and unfair. + </p> + <p> + As the hall in which we were to speak was enormous, he declared that one + of two things would certainly happen. Either I would scream in order to be + heard by my great audience, or I would be unable to make myself heard at + all. If I screamed it would be a powerful argument against women as public + speakers; if I could not be heard, it would be an even better argument. In + either case, he summed up, I was doomed to failure. Following out this + theory, he posted men in the extreme rear of the great hall on the day of + my lecture, to report to him whether my words reached them, while he + himself graciously occupied a front seat. Bishop Vincent's antagonistic + feeling was so strong, however, that though, as the presiding officer of + the occasion, he introduced me to the audience, he did not wait to hear my + speech, but immediately left the hall—and this little slight added + to the public's interest in the debate. It was felt that the two gentlemen + were not quite "playing fair," and the champions of the Cause were + especially enthusiastic in their efforts to make up for these failures in + courtesy. My friends turned out in force to hear the lecture, and on the + breast of every one of them flamed the yellow bow that stood for suffrage, + giving to the vast hall something of the effect of a field of yellow + tulips in full bloom. + </p> + <p> + When Dr. Buckley rose to reply the next day these friends were again + awaiting him with an equally jocund display of the suffrage color, and + this did not add to his serenity. During his remarks he made the serious + mistake of losing his temper; and, unfortunately for him, he directed his + wrath toward a very old man who had thoughtlessly applauded by pounding on + the floor with his cane when Dr. Buckley quoted a point I had made. The + doctor leaned forward and shook his fist at him. + </p> + <p> + "Think she's right, do you?" he asked. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," admitted the venerable citizen, briskly, though a little startled + by the manner of the question. + </p> + <p> + "Old man," shouted Dr. Buckley, "I'll make you take that back if you've + got a grain of sense in your head!" + </p> + <p> + The insult cost him his audience. When he realized this he lost all his + self-possession, and, as the Buffalo Courier put it the next day, "went up + and down the platform raving like a Billingsgate fishwife." He lost the + debate, and the supply of yellow ribbon left in the surrounding counties + was purchased that night to be used in the suffrage celebration that + followed. My friends still refer to the occasion as "the day we wiped up + the earth with Dr. Buckley"; but I do not deserve the implied tribute, for + Dr. Buckley would have lost his case without a word from me. What really + gave me some satisfaction, however, was the respective degree of freshness + with which he and I emerged from our combat. After my speech Miss Anthony + and I were given a reception, and stood for hours shaking hands with + hundreds of men and women. Later in the evening we had a dinner and + another reception, which, lasting, as they did, until midnight, kept us + from our repose. Dr. Buckley, poor gentleman, had to be taken to his hotel + immediately after his speech, given a hot bath, rubbed down, and put + tenderly to bed; and not even the sympathetic heart of Susan B. Anthony + yearned over him when she heard of his exhaustion. + </p> + <p> + It was also at Chautauqua, by the way, though a number of years earlier, + that I had my much misquoted encounter with the minister who deplored the + fashion I followed in those days of wearing my hair short. This young man, + who was rather a pompous person, saw fit to take me to task at a table + where a number of us were dining together. + </p> + <p> + "Miss Shaw," he said, abruptly, "I have been asked very often why you wear + your hair short, and I have not been able to explain. Of course"—this + kindly—"I know there is some good reason. I ventured to advance the + theory that you have been ill and that your hair has fallen out. Is that + it?" + </p> + <p> + "No," I told him. "There is a reason, as you suggest. But it is not that + one." + </p> + <p> + "Then why—" he insisted. + </p> + <p> + "I am rather sensitive about it," I explained. "I don't know that I care + to discuss the subject." + </p> + <p> + The young minister looked pained. "But among friends—" he protested. + </p> + <p> + "True," I conceded. "Well, then, among friends, I will admit frankly that + it is a birthmark. I was born with short hair." + </p> + <p> + That was the last time my short hair was criticized in my presence, but + the young minister was right in his disapproval and I was wrong, as I + subsequently realized. A few years later I let my hair grow long, for I + had learned that no woman in public life can afford to make herself + conspicuous by any eccentricity of dress or appearance. If she does so she + suffers for it herself, which may not disturb her, and to a greater or + less degree she injures the cause she represents, which should disturb her + very much. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XII. BUILDING A HOME + </h2> + <p> + It is not generally known that the meeting of the International Council of + Women held in Chicago during the World's Fair was suggested by Miss + Anthony, as was also the appointment of the Exposition's "Board of Lady + Managers." "Aunt Susan" kept her name in the background, that she might + not array against these projects the opposition of those prejudiced + against woman suffrage. We both spoke at the meetings, however, as I have + already explained, and one of our most chastening experiences occurred on + "Actress Night." There was a great demand for tickets for this occasion, + as every one seemed anxious to know what kind of speeches our leading + women of the stage would make; and the programme offered such magic names + as Helena Modjeska, Julia Marlowe, Georgia Cayvan, Clara Morris, and + others of equal appeal. The hall was soon filled, and to keep out the + increasing throng the doors were locked and the waiting crowd was directed + to a second hall for an overflow meeting. + </p> + <p> + As it happened, Miss Anthony and I were among the earliest arrivals at the + main hall. It was the first evening we had been free to do exactly as we + pleased, and we were both in high spirits, looking forward to the + speeches, congratulating each other on the good seats we had been given on + the platform, and rallying the speakers on their stage fright; for, much + to our amusement, we had found them all in mortal terror of their + audience. Georgia Cayvan, for example, was so nervous that she had to be + strengthened with hot milk before she could speak, and Julia Marlowe + admitted freely that her knees were giving way beneath her. They really + had something of an ordeal before them, for it was decided that each + actress must speak twice going immediately from the hall to the overflow + meeting and repeating there the speech she had just made. But in the mean + time some one had to hold the impatient audience in the second hall, and + as it was a duty every one else promptly repudiated, a row of suddenly + imploring faces turned toward Miss Anthony and me. I admit that we + responded to the appeal with great reluctance. We were SO comfortable + where we were—and we were also deeply interested in the first + intimate glimpse we were having of these stars in the dramatic sky. We saw + our duty, however, and with deep sighs we rose and departed for the second + hall, where a glance at the waiting throng did not add to our pleasure in + the prospect before us. + </p> + <p> + When I walked upon the stage I found myself facing an actually hostile + audience. They had come to look at and listen to the actresses who had + been promised them, and they thought they were being deprived of that + privilege by an interloper. Never before had I gazed out on a mass of such + unresponsive faces or looked into so many angry eyes. They were exchanging + views on their wrongs, and the general buzz of conversation continued when + I appeared. For some moments I stood looking at them, my hands behind my + back. If I had tried to speak they would undoubtedly have gone on talking; + my silence attracted their attention and they began to wonder what I + intended to do. When they had stopped whispering and moving about, I spoke + to them with the frankness of an overburdened heart. + </p> + <p> + "I think," I said, slowly and distinctly, "that you are the most + disagreeable audience I ever faced in my life." + </p> + <p> + They gasped and stared, almost open-mouthed in their surprise. + </p> + <p> + "Never," I went on, "have I seen a gathering of people turn such ugly + looks upon a speaker who has sacrificed her own enjoyment to come and talk + to them. Do you think I want to talk to you?" I demanded, warming to my + subject. "I certainly do not. Neither does Miss Anthony want to talk to + you, and the lady who spoke to you a few moments ago, and whom you treated + so rudely, did not wish to be here. We would all much prefer to be in the + other hall, listening to the speakers from our comfortable seats on the + stage. To entertain you we gave up our places and came here simply because + the committee begged us to do so. I have only one thing more to say. If + you care to listen to me courteously I am willing to waste time on you; + but don't imagine that I will stand here and wait while you criticize the + management." + </p> + <p> + By this time I felt as if I had a child across my knee to whom I was + administering maternal chastisement, and the uneasiness of my audience + underlined the impression. They listened rather sulkily at first; then a + few of the best-natured among them laughed, and the laugh grew and + developed into applause. The experience had done them good, and they were + a chastened band when Clara Morris appeared, and I gladly yielded the + floor to her. + </p> + <p> + All the actresses who spoke that night delivered admirable addresses, but + no one equaled Madame Modjeska, who delivered exquisitely a speech + written, not by herself, but by a friend and countrywoman, on the + condition of Polish women under the regime of Russia. We were all charmed + as we listened, but none of us dreamed what that address would mean to + Modjeska. It resulted in her banishment from Poland, her native land, + which she was never again permitted to enter. But though she paid so heavy + a price for the revelation, I do not think she ever really regretted + having given to America the facts in that speech. + </p> + <p> + During this same period I embarked upon a high adventure. I had always + longed for a home, and my heart had always been loyal to Cape Cod. Now I + decided to have a home at Wianno, across the Cape from my old parish at + East Dennis. Deep-seated as my home-making aspiration had been, it was + realized largely as the result of chance. A special hobby of mine has + always been auction sales. I dearly love to drop into auction-rooms while + sales are in progress, and bid up to the danger-point, taking care to stop + just in time to let some one else get the offered article. But of course I + sometimes failed to stop at the psychological moment, and the result was a + sudden realization that, in the course of the years, I had accumulated an + extraordinary number of articles for which I had no shelter and no + possible use. + </p> + <p> + The crown jewel of the collection was a bedroom set I had picked up in + Philadelphia. Usually, cautious friends accompanied me on my auction-room + expeditions and restrained my ardor; but this time I got away alone and + found myself bidding at the sale of a solid bog-wood bedroom set which had + been exhibited as a show-piece at the World's Fair, and was now, in the + words of the auctioneer, "going for a song." I sang the song. I offered + twenty dollars, thirty dollars, forty dollars, and other excited voices + drowned mine with higher bids. It was very thrilling. I offered fifty + dollars, and there was a horrible silence, broken at last by the + auctioneer's final, "Going, going, GONE!" I was mistress of the bog-wood + bedroom set—a set wholly out of harmony with everything else I + possessed, and so huge and massive that two men were required to lift the + head-board alone. Like many of the previous treasures I had acquired, this + was a white elephant; but, unlike some of them, it was worth more than I + had paid for it. I was offered sixty dollars for one piece alone, but I + coldly refused to sell it, though the tribute to my judgment warmed my + heart. I had not the faintest idea what to do with the set, however, and + at last I confided my dilemma to my friend, Mrs. Ellen Dietrick, who + sagely advised me to build a house for it. The idea intrigued me. The + bog-wood furniture needed a home, and so did I. + </p> + <p> + The result of our talk was that Mrs. Dietrick promised to select a lot for + me at Wianno, where she herself lived, and even promised to supervise the + building of my cottage, and to attend to all the other details connected + with it. Thus put, the temptation was irresistible. Besides Mrs. Dietrick, + many other delightful friends lived at Wianno—the Garrisons, the + Chases of Rhode Island, the Wymans, the Wellingtons—a most charming + community. I gave Mrs. Dietrick full authority to use her judgment in + every detail connected with the undertaking, and the cottage was built. + Having put her hand to this plow of friendship, Mrs. Dietrick did the work + with characteristic thoroughness. I did not even visit Wianno to look at + my land. She selected it, bought it, engaged a woman architect—Lois + Howe of Boston—and followed the latter's work from beginning to end. + The only stipulation I made was that the cottage must be far up on the + beach, out of sight of everybody—really in the woods; and this was + easily met, for along that coast the trees came almost to the water's + edge. + </p> + <p> + The cottage was a great success, and for many years I spent my vacations + there, filling the place with young people. From the time of my sister + Mary's death I had had the general oversight of her two daughters, Lola + and Grace, as well as of Nicolas and Eleanor, the two motherless daughters + of my brother John. They were all with me every summer in the new home, + together with Lucy Anthony, her sister and brother, Mrs. Rachel Foster + Avery, and other friends. We had special fishing costumes made, and wore + them much of the time. My nieces wore knickerbockers, and I found vast + contentment in short, heavy skirts over bloomers. We lived out of doors, + boating, fishing, and clamming all day long, and, as in my early pioneer + days in Michigan, my part of the work was in the open. I chopped all the + wood, kept the fires going, and looked after the grounds. + </p> + <p> + Rumors of our care-free and unconventional life began to circulate, and + presently our Eden was invaded by the only serpent I have ever found in + the newspaper world—a girl reporter from Boston. She telegraphed + that she was coming to see us; and though, when she came, we had been + warned of her propensities and received her in conventional attire, + formally entertaining her with tea on the veranda, she went away and gave + free play to a hectic fancy. She wrote a sensational full-page article for + a Sunday newspaper, illustrated with pictures showing us all in + knickerbockers. In this striking work of art I carried a fish net and pole + and wore a handkerchief tied over my head. The article, which was headed + THE ADAMLESS EDEN, was almost libelous, and I admit that for a long time + it dimmed our enjoyment of our beloved retreat. Then, gradually, my old + friends died, Mrs. Dietrick among the first; others moved away; and the + character of the entire region changed. It became fashionable, privacy was + no longer to be found there, and we ceased to visit it. For five years I + have not even seen the cottage. + </p> + <p> + In 1908 I built the house I now occupy (in Moylan, Pennsylvania), which is + the realization of a desire I have always had—to build on a tract + which had a stream, a grove of trees, great boulders and rocks, and a hill + site for the house with a broad outlook, and a railroad station + conveniently near. The friend who finally found the place for me had begun + his quest with the pessimistic remark that I would better wait for it + until I got to Paradise; but two years later he telegraphed me that he had + discovered it on this planet, and he was right. I have only eight acres of + land, but no one could ask a more ideal site for a cottage; and on the + place is my beloved forest, including a grove of three hundred firs. From + every country I have visited I have brought back a tiny tree for this + little forest, and now it is as full of memories as of beauty. + </p> + <p> + To the surprise of my neighbors, I built my house with its back toward the + public road, facing the valley and the stream. "But you will never see + anybody go by," they protested. I answered that the one person in the + house who was necessarily interested in passers-by was my maid, and she + could see them perfectly from the kitchen, which faced the road. I enjoy + my views from the broad veranda that overlooks the valley, the stream, and + the country for miles around. + </p> + <p> + Every suffragist I have ever met has been a lover of home; and only the + conviction that she is fighting for her home, her children, for other + women, or for all of these, has sustained her in her public work. Looking + back on many campaign experiences, I am forced to admit that it is not + always the privations we endure which make us think most tenderly of home. + Often we are more overcome by the attentions of well-meaning friends. As + an example of this I recall an incident of one Oregon campaign. I was to + speak in a small city in the southern part of the state, and on reaching + the station, hot, tired, and covered with the grime of a midsummer + journey, I found awaiting me a delegation of citizens, a brass-band, and a + white carriage drawn by a pair of beautiful white horses. In this + carriage, and devotedly escorted by the citizens and the band, the latter + playing its hardest, I was driven to the City Hall and there met by the + mayor, who delivered an address, after which I was crowned with a laurel + wreath. Subsequently, with this wreath still resting upon my perspiring + brow, I was again driven through the streets of the city; and if ever a + woman felt that her place was in the home and longed to be in her place, I + felt it that day. + </p> + <p> + An almost equally trying occasion had San Francisco for its setting. The + city had arranged a Fourth of July celebration, at which Miss Anthony and + I were to speak. Here we rode in a carriage decorated with flowers—yellow + roses—while just in front of us was the mayor in a carriage + gorgeously festooned with purple blossoms. Behind us, for more than a + mile, stretched a procession of uniformed policemen, soldiers, and + citizens, while the sidewalks were lined with men and women whose + enthusiastic greetings came to Miss Anthony from every side. She was + enchanted over the whole experience, for to her it meant, as always, not a + personal tribute, but a triumph of the Cause. But I sat by her side + acutely miserable; for across my shoulders and breast had been draped a + huge sash with the word "Orator" emblazoned on it, and this was further + embellished by a striking rosette with streamers which hung nearly to the + bottom of my gown. It is almost unnecessary to add that this remarkable + decoration was furnished by a committee of men, and was also worn by all + the men speakers of the day. Possibly I was overheated by the sash, or by + the emotions the sash aroused in me, for I was stricken with pneumonia the + following day and experienced my first serious illness, from which, + however, I soon recovered. + </p> + <p> + On our way to California in 1895 Miss Anthony and I spent a day at + Cheyenne, Wyoming, as the guests of Senator and Mrs. Carey, who gave a + dinner for us. At the table I asked Senator Carey what he considered the + best result of the enfranchisement of Wyoming women, and even after the + lapse of twenty years I am able to give his reply almost word for word, + for it impressed me deeply at the time and I have since quoted it again + and again. + </p> + <p> + "There have been many good results," he said, "but the one I consider + above all the others is the great change for the better in the character + of our candidates for office. Consider this for a moment: Since our women + have voted there has never been an embezzlement of public funds, or a + scandalous misuse of public funds, or a disgraceful condition of graft. I + attribute the better character of our public officials almost entirely to + the votes of the women." + </p> + <p> + "Those are inspiring facts," I conceded, "but let us be just. There are + three men in Wyoming to every woman, and no candidate for office could be + elected unless the men voted for him, too. Why, then, don't they deserve + as much credit for his election as the women?" + </p> + <p> + "Because," explained Senator Carey, promptly, "women are politically an + uncertain factor. We can go among men and learn beforehand how they are + going to vote, but we can't do that with women; they keep us guessing. In + the old days, when we went into the caucus we knew what resolutions put + into our platforms would win the votes of the ranchmen, what would win the + miners, what would win the men of different nationalities; but we did not + know how to win the votes of the women until we began to nominate our + candidates. Then we immediately discovered that if the Democrats nominated + a man of immoral character for office, the women voted for his Republican + opponent, and we learned our first big lesson—that whatever a + candidate's other qualifications for office may be, he must first of all + have a clean record. In the old days, when we nominated a candidate we + asked, 'Can he hold the saloon vote?' Now we ask, 'Can he hold the women's + vote?' Instead of bidding down to the saloon, we bid up to the home." + </p> + <p> + Following the dinner there was a large public meeting, at which Miss + Anthony and I were to speak. Mrs. Jenkins, who was president of the + Suffrage Association of the state, presided and introduced us to the + assemblage. Then she added: "I have introduced you ladies to your + audience. Now I would like to introduce your audience to you." She began + with the two Senators and the member of Congress, then introduced the + Governor, the Lieutenant-Governor, the state Superintendent of Education, + and numerous city and state officials. As she went on Miss Anthony grew + more and more excited, and when the introductions were over, she said: + "This is the first time I have ever seen an audience assembled for woman + suffrage made up of the public officials of a state. No one can ever + persuade me now that men respect women without political power as much as + they respect women who have it; for certainly in no other state in the + Union would it be possible to gather so many public officials under one + roof to listen to the addresses of women." + </p> + <p> + The following spring we again went West, with Mrs. Catt, Lucy Anthony, + Miss Hay and Miss Sweet, her secretary, to carry on the Pacific coast + campaign of '96, arranged by Mrs. Cooper and her daughter Harriet, of + Oakland—both women of remarkable executive ability. Headquarters + were secured in San Francisco, and Miss Hay was put in charge, associated + with a large group of California women. It was the second time in the + history of campaigns—the first being in New York—that all the + money to carry on the work was raised by the people of the state. + </p> + <p> + The last days of the campaign were extremely interesting, and one of their + important events was that the Hon. Thomas Reed, then Speaker of the House + of Representatives, for the first time came out publicly for suffrage. Mr. + Reed had often expressed himself privately as in favor of the Cause—but + he had never made a public statement for us. At Oakland, one day, the + indefatigable and irresistible "Aunt Susan" caught him off his guard by + persuading his daughter, Kitty Reed, who was his idol, to ask him to say + just one word in favor of our amendment. When he arose we did not know + whether he had promised what she asked, and as his speech progressed our + hearts sank lower and lower, for all he said was remote from our Cause. + But he ended with these words: + </p> + <p> + "There is an amendment of the constitution pending, granting suffrage to + women. The women of California ought to have suffrage. The men of + California ought to give it to them—and the next speaker, Dr. Shaw, + will tell you why." + </p> + <p> + The word was spoken. And though it was not a very strong word, it came + from a strong man, and therefore helped us. + </p> + <p> + Election day, as usual, brought its surprises and revelations. Mrs. Cooper + asked her Chinese cook how the Chinese were voting—i. e., the + native-born Chinamen who were entitled to vote—and he replied, + blithely, "All Chinamen vote for Billy McKee and 'NO' to women!" It is an + interesting fact that every Chinese vote was cast against us. + </p> + <p> + All day we went from one to another of the polling-places, and I shall + always remember the picture of Miss Anthony and the wife of Senator + Sargent wandering around the polls arm in arm at eleven o'clock at night, + their tired faces taking on lines of deeper depression with every minute; + for the count was against us. However, we made a fairly good showing. When + the final counts came in we found that we had won the state from the north + down to Oakland, and from the south up to San Francisco; but there was not + a sufficient majority to overcome the adverse votes of San Francisco and + Oakland. With more than 230,000 votes cast, we were defeated by only + 10,000 majority. In San Francisco the saloon element and the most + aristocratic section of the city made an equal showing against us, while + the section occupied by the middle working-class was largely in favor of + our amendment. I dwell especially on this campaign, partly because such + splendid work was done by the women of California, and also because, + during the same election, Utah and Idaho granted full suffrage to women. + This gave us four suffrage states—Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, and Idaho—and + we prepared for future struggles with very hopeful hearts. + </p> + <p> + It was during this California campaign, by the way, that I unwittingly + caused much embarrassment to a worthy young man. At a mass-meeting held in + San Francisco, Rabbi Vorsanger, who was not in favor of suffrage for + women, advanced the heartening theory that in a thousand years more they + might possibly be ready for it. After a thousand years of education for + women, of physically developed women, of uncorseted women, he said, we + might have the ideal woman, and could then begin to talk about freedom for + her. + </p> + <p> + When the rabbi sat down there was a shout from the audience for me to + answer him, but all I said was that the ideal woman would be rather + lonely, as it would certainly take another thousand years to develop an + ideal man capable of being a mate for her. On the following night Prof. + Howard Griggs, of Stanford University, made a speech on the modern woman—a + speech so admirably thought out and delivered that we were all delighted + with it. When he had finished the audience again called on me, and I rose + and proceeded to make what my friends frankly called "the worst break" of + my experience. Rabbi Vorsanger's ideal woman was still in my mind, and I + had been rather hard on the men in my reply to the rabbi the night before; + so now I hastened to give this clever young man his full due. I said that + though the rabbi thought it would take a thousand years to make an ideal + woman, I believed that, after all, it might not take as long to make the + ideal man. We had something very near it in a speaker who could reveal + such ability, such chivalry, and such breadth of view as Professor Griggs + had just shown that he possessed. + </p> + <p> + That night I slept the sleep of the just and the well-meaning, and it was + fortunate I did, for the morning newspapers had a surprise for me that + called for steady nerves and a sense of humor. Across the front page of + every one of them ran startling head-lines to this effect: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + DR. SHAW HAS FOUND HER IDEAL MAN + The Prospects Are That She Will + Remain in California +</pre> + <p> + Professor Griggs was young enough to be my son, and he was already married + and the father of two beautiful children; but these facts were not + permitted to interfere with the free play of fancy in journalistic minds. + For a week the newspapers were filled with all sorts of articles, + caricatures, and editorials on my ideal man, which caused me much + annoyance and some amusement, while they plunged Professor Griggs into an + abysmal gloom. In the end, however, the experience proved an excellent one + for him, for the publicity attending his speech made him decide to take up + lecturing as a profession, which he eventually did with great success. But + neither of us has yet heard the last of the Ideal Man episode. Only a few + years ago, on his return to California after a long absence, one of the + leading Sunday newspapers of the state heralded Professor Griggs's arrival + by publishing a full-page article bearing his photograph and mine and this + flamboyant heading: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + SHE MADE HIM + And Dr. Shaw's Ideal Man Became the + Idol of American Women and + Earns $30,000 a Year +</pre> + <p> + We had other unusual experiences in California, and the display of + affluence on every side was not the least impressive of them. In one town, + after a heavy rain, I remember seeing a number of little boys scraping the + dirt from the gutters, washing it, and finding tiny nuggets of gold. We + learned that these boys sometimes made two or three dollars a day in this + way, and that the streets of the town—I think it was Marysville—contained + so much gold that a syndicate offered to level the whole town and repave + the streets in return for the right to wash out the gold. This sounds like + the kind of thing Americans tell to trustful visitors from foreign lands, + but it is quite true. Nuggets, indeed, were so numerous that at one of our + meetings, when we were taking up a collection, I cheerfully suggested that + our audience drop a few into the box, as we had not had a nugget since we + reached the state. There were no nuggets in the subsequent collection, but + there was a note which read: "If Dr. Shaw will accept a gold nugget, I + will see that she does not leave town without one." I read this aloud, and + added, "I have never refused a gold nugget in my life." + </p> + <p> + The following day brought me a pin made of a very beautiful gold nugget, + and a few days later another Californian produced a cluster of smaller + nuggets which he had washed out of a panful of earth and insisted on my + accepting half of them. I was not accustomed to this sort of generosity, + but it was characteristic of the spirit of the state. Nowhere else, during + our campaign experiences, were we so royally treated in every way. As a + single example among many, I may mention that Mrs. Leland Stanford once + happened to be on a train with us and to meet Miss Anthony. As a result of + this chance encounter she gave our whole party passes on all the lines of + the Southern Pacific Railroad, for use during the entire campaign. Similar + generosity was shown us on every side, and the question of finance did not + burden us from the beginning to the end of the California work. + </p> + <p> + In our Utah and Idaho campaigns we had also our full share of new + experiences, and of these perhaps the most memorable to me was the sermon + I preached in the Mormon Tabernacle at Salt Lake City. Before I left New + York the Mormon women had sent me the invitation to preach this sermon, + and when I reached Salt Lake City and the so-called "Gentile" women heard + of the plan, they at once invited me to preach to the "Gentiles" on the + evening of the same Sunday, in the Salt Lake City Opera House. + </p> + <p> + On the morning of the sermon I approached the Mormon Tabernacle with much + more trepidation than I usually experienced before entering a pulpit. I + was not sure what particular kind of trouble I would get into, but I had + an abysmal suspicion that trouble of some sort lay in wait for me, and I + shivered in the anticipation of it. Fortunately, my anxiety was not long + drawn out. I arrived only a few moments before the hour fixed for the + sermon, and found the congregation already assembled and the Tabernacle + filled with the beautiful music of the great organ. On the platform, to + which I was escorted by several leading dignitaries of the church, was the + characteristic Mormon arrangement of seats. The first row was occupied by + the deacons, and in the center of these was the pulpit from which the + deacons preach. Above these seats was a second row, occupied by ordained + elders, and there they too had their own pulpit. The third row was + occupied by, the bishops and the highest dignitaries of the church, with + the pulpit from which the bishops preach; and behind them all, an + effective human frieze, was the really wonderful Mormon choir. + </p> + <p> + As I am an ordained elder in my church, I occupied the pulpit in the + middle row of seats, with the deacons below me and the bishops just + behind. Scattered among the congregation were hundreds of "Gentiles" ready + to leap mentally upon any concession I might make to the Mormon faith; + while the Mormons were equally on the alert for any implied criticism of + them and their church. The problem of preaching a sermon which should + offer some appeal to both classes, without offending either, was a + perplexing one, and I solved it to the best of my ability by delivering a + sermon I had once given in my own church to my own people. When I had + finished I was wholly uncertain of its effect, but at the end of the + services one of the bishops leaned toward me from his place in the rear, + and, to my mingled horror and amusement, offered me this tribute, "That is + one of the best Mormon sermons ever preached in this Tabernacle." + </p> + <p> + I thanked him, but inwardly I was aghast. What had I said to give him such + an impression? I racked my brain, but could recall nothing that justified + it. I passed the day in a state of nervous apprehension, fully expecting + some frank criticism from the "Gentiles" on the score of having delivered + a Mormon sermon to ingratiate myself into the favor of the Mormons and + secure their votes for the constitutional amendment. But nothing of the + kind was said. That evening, after the sermon to the "Gentiles," a + reception was given to our party, and I drew my first deep breath when the + wife of a well-known clergyman came to me and introduced herself in these + words: + </p> + <p> + "My husband could not come here to-night, but he heard your sermon this + morning. He asked me to tell you how glad he was that under such unusual + conditions you held so firmly to the teachings of Christ." + </p> + <p> + The next day I was still more reassured. A reception was given us at the + home of one of Brigham Young's daughters, and the receiving-line was + graced by the presiding elder of the Methodist Episcopal Church. He was a + bluff and jovial gentleman, and when he took my hand he said, warmly, + "Well, Sister Shaw, you certainly gave our Mormon friends the biggest dose + of Methodism yesterday that they ever got in their lives." + </p> + <p> + After this experience I reminded myself again that what Frances Willard so + frequently said is true; All truth is our truth when it has reached our + hearts; we merely rechristen it according to our individual creeds. + </p> + <p> + During the visit I had an interesting conversation with a number of the + younger Mormon women. I was to leave the city on a midnight train, and + about twenty of them, including four daughters of Brigham Young, came to + my hotel to remain with me until it was time to go to the station. They + filled the room, sitting around in school-girl fashion on the floor and + even on the bed. It was an unusual opportunity to learn some things I + wished to know, and I could not resist it. + </p> + <p> + "There are some questions I would like to ask you," I began, "and one or + two of them may seem impertinent. But they won't be asked in that spirit—and + please don't answer any that embarrass you." + </p> + <p> + They exchanged glances, and then told me to ask as many questions as I + wished. + </p> + <p> + "First of all," I said, "I would like to know the real attitude toward + polygamy of the present generation of Mormon women. Do you all believe in + it?" + </p> + <p> + They assured me that they did. + </p> + <p> + "How many of you," I then asked, "are polygamous wives?" + </p> + <p> + There was not one in the group. "But," I insisted, "if you really believe + in polygamy, why is it that some of your husbands have not taken more than + one wife?" + </p> + <p> + There was a moment of silence, while each woman looked around as if + waiting for another to answer. At last one of them said, slowly: + </p> + <p> + "In my case, I alone was to blame. For years I could not force myself to + consent to my husband's taking another wife, though I tried hard. By the + time I had overcome my objection the law was passed prohibiting polygamy." + </p> + <p> + A second member of the group hastened to tell her story. She had had a + similar spiritual struggle, and just as she reached the point where she + was willing to have her husband take another wife, he died. And now the + room was filled with eager voices. Four or five women were telling at once + that they, too, had been reluctant in the beginning, and that when they + had reached the point of consent this, that, or another cause had kept the + husbands from marrying again. They were all so passionately in earnest + that they stared at me in puzzled wonder when I broke into the sudden + laughter I could not restrain. + </p> + <p> + "What fortunate women you all were!" I exclaimed, teasingly. "Not one of + you arrived at the point of consenting to the presence of a second wife in + your home until it was impossible for your husband to take her." + </p> + <p> + They flushed a little at that, and then laughed with me; but they did not + defend themselves against the tacit charge, and I turned the conversation + into less personal channels. I learned that many of the Mormon young men + were marrying girls outside of the Church, and that two sons of a leading + Mormon elder had married and were living very happily with Catholic girls. + </p> + <p> + At this time the Mormon candidate for Congress (a man named Roberts) was a + bitter opponent of woman suffrage. The Mormon women begged me to challenge + him to a debate on the subject, which I did, but Mr. Roberts declined the + challenge. The ground of his refusal, which he made public through the + newspapers, was chastening to my spirit. He explained that he would not + debate with me because he was not willing to lower himself to the + intellectual plane of a woman. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0015" id="link2H_4_0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XIII. PRESIDENT OF "THE NATIONAL" + </h2> + <p> + In 1900 Miss Anthony, then over eighty, decided that she must resign the + presidency of our National Association, and the question of the successor + she would choose became an important one. It was conceded that there were + only two candidates in her mind—Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt and myself—and + for several months we gave the suffrage world the unusual spectacle of + rivals vigorously pushing each other's claims. Miss Anthony was devoted to + us both, and I think the choice was a hard one for her to make. On the one + hand, I had been vice-president at large and her almost constant companion + for twelve years, and she had grown accustomed to think of me as her + successor. On the other hand, Mrs. Catt had been chairman of the + organization committee, and through her splendid executive ability had + built up our organization in many states. From Miss Anthony down, we all + recognized her steadily growing powers; she had, moreover, abundant means, + which I had not. + </p> + <p> + In my mind there was no question of her superior qualification for the + presidency. She seemed to me the logical and indeed the only possible + successor to Miss Anthony; and I told "Aunt Susan" so with all the + eloquence I could command, while simultaneously Mrs. Catt was pouring into + Miss Anthony's other ear a series of impassioned tributes to me. It was an + unusual situation and a very pleasant one, and it had two excellent + results: it simplified "Aunt Susan's" problem by eliminating the element + of personal ambition, and it led to her eventual choice of Mrs. Catt as + her successor. + </p> + <p> + I will admit here for the first time that in urging Mrs. Catt's fitness + for the office I made the greatest sacrifice of my life. My highest + ambition had been to succeed Miss Anthony, for no one who knew her as I + did could underestimate the honor of being chosen by her to carry on her + work. + </p> + <p> + At the convention in Washington that year she formally refused the + nomination for re-election, as we had all expected, and then, on being + urged to choose her own successor, she stepped forward to do so. It was a + difficult hour, for her fiery soul resented the limitations imposed by her + worn-out body, and to such a worker the most poignant experience in life + is to be forced to lay down one's work at the command of old age. On this + she touched briefly, but in a trembling voice; and then, in furtherance of + the understanding between the three of us, she presented the name of Mrs. + Catt to the convention with all the pride and hope a mother could feel in + the presentation of a daughter. + </p> + <p> + Her faith was fully justified. Mrs. Catt made an admirable president, and + during every moment of the four years she held the office she had Miss + Anthony's whole-hearted and enthusiastic support, while I, too, in my + continued office of vice-president, did my utmost to help her in every + way. In 1904, however, Mrs. Catt was elected president of the + International Suffrage Alliance, as I have mentioned before, and that same + year she resigned the presidency of our National Association, as her + health was not equal to the strain of carrying the two offices. + </p> + <p> + Miss Anthony immediately urged me to accept the presidency of the National + Association, which I was now most unwilling to do; I had lost my ambition + to be president, and there were other reasons, into which I need not go + again, why I felt that I could not accept the post. At last, however, Miss + Anthony actually commanded me to take the place, and there was nothing to + do but obey her. She was then eighty-four, and, as it proved, within two + years of her death. It was no time for me to rebel against her wishes; but + I yielded with the heaviest heart I have ever carried, and after my + election to the presidency at the national convention in Washington I left + the stage, went into a dark corner of the wings, and for the first time + since my girlhood "cried myself sick." + </p> + <p> + In the work I now took up I found myself much alone. Mrs. Catt was really + ill, and the strength of "Aunt Susan" must be saved in every way. Neither + could give me much help, though each did all she should have done, and + more. Mrs. Catt, whose husband had recently died, was in a deeply + despondent frame of mind, and seemed to feel that the future was + hopelessly dark. My own panacea for grief is work, and it seemed to me + that both physically and mentally she would be helped by a wise + combination of travel and effort. During my lifetime I have cherished two + ambitions, and only two: the first, as I have already confessed, had been + to succeed Miss Anthony as president of our association; the second was to + go around the world, carrying the woman-suffrage ideal to every country, + and starting in each a suffrage society. Long before the inception of the + International Suffrage Alliance I had dreamed this dream; and, though it + had receded as I followed it through life, I had never wholly lost sight + of it. Now I realized that for me it could never be more than a dream. I + could never hope to have enough money at my disposal to carry it out, and + it occurred to me that if Mrs. Catt undertook it as president of the + International Suffrage Alliance the results would be of the greatest + benefit to the Cause and to her. + </p> + <p> + In my first visit to her after her husband's death I suggested this plan, + but she replied that it was impossible for her to consider it. I did not + lose thought of it, however, and at the next International Conference, + held in Copenhagen in 1907, I suggested to some of the delegates that we + introduce the matter as a resolution, asking Mrs. Catt to go around the + world in behalf of woman suffrage. They approved the suggestion so + heartily that I followed it up with a speech setting forth the whole plan + and Mrs. Catt's peculiar fitness for the work. Several months later Mrs. + Catt and Dr. Aletta Jacobs, president of the Holland Suffrage Association, + started on their world tour; and not until after they had gone did I fully + realize that the two great personal ambitions of my life had been + realized, not by me, but by another, and in each case with my enthusiastic + co-operation. + </p> + <p> + In 1904, following my election to the presidency, a strong appeal came + from the Board of Managers of the exposition to be held in Portland, + Oregon, urging us to hold our next annual convention there during the + exposition. It was the first time an important body of men had recognized + us in this manner, and we gladly responded. So strong a political factor + did the men of Oregon recognize us to be that every political party in the + state asked to be represented on our platform; and one entire evening of + the convention was given over to the representatives chosen by the various + parties to indorse the suffrage movement. Thus we began in Oregon the good + work we continued in 1906, and of which we reaped the harvest in 1912. + </p> + <p> + Next to "Suffrage Night," the most interesting feature of the exposition + to us was the unveiling of the statue of Saccawagea, the young Indian girl + who led the Lewis and Clark expedition through the dangerous passes of the + mountain ranges of the Northwest until they reached the Pacific coast. + This statue, presented to the exposition by the women of Oregon, is the + belated tribute of the state to its most dauntless pioneer; and no one can + look upon the noble face of the young squaw, whose outstretched hand + points to the ocean, without marveling over the ingratitude of the nation + that ignored her supreme service. To Saccawagea is due the opening up of + the entire western country. There was no one to guide Lewis and Clark + except this Indian, who alone knew the way; and she led the whole party, + carrying her papoose on her back. She was only sixteen, but she brought + every man safely through an experience of almost unparalleled hardship and + danger, nursing them in sickness and setting them an example of + unfaltering courage and endurance, until she stood at last on the Pacific + coast, where her statue stands now, pointing to the wide sweep of the + Columbia River as it flows into the sea. + </p> + <p> + This recognition by women is the only recognition she ever received. Both + Lewis and Clark were sincerely grateful to her and warmly recommended her + to the government for reward; but the government allowed her absolutely + nothing, though each man in the party she had led was given a large tract + of land. Tradition says that she was bitterly disappointed, as well she + might have been, and her Indian brain must have been sadly puzzled. But + she was treated little worse than thousands of the white pioneer women who + have followed her; and standing: there to-day on the bank of her river, + she still seems sorrowfully reflective over the strange ways of the nation + she so nobly served. + </p> + <p> + The Oregon campaign of 1906 was the carrying out of one of Miss Anthony's + dearest wishes, and we who loved her set about this work soon after her + death. In the autumn preceding her passing, headquarters had been + established in Oregon, and Miss Laura Gregg had been placed in charge, + with Miss Gale Laughlin as her associate. As the money for this effort was + raised by the National Association, it was decided, after some discussion, + to let the National Association develop the work in Oregon, which was + admittedly a hard state to carry and full of possible difficulties which + soon became actual ones. + </p> + <p> + As a beginning, the Legislature had failed to submit an amendment; but as + the initiative and referendum was the law in Oregon, the amendment was + submitted through initiative patent. The task of securing the necessary + signatures was not an easy one, but at last a sufficient number of + signatures were secured and verified, and the authorities issued the + necessary proclamation for the vote, which was to take place at a special + election held on the 5th of June. Our campaign work had been carried on as + extensively as possible, but the distances were great and the workers few, + and as a result of the strain upon her Miss Gregg's health soon failed + alarmingly. + </p> + <p> + All this was happening during Miss Anthony's last illness, and it added + greatly to our anxieties. + </p> + <p> + She instructed me to go to Oregon immediately after her death and to take + her sister Mary and her niece Lucy with me, and we followed these orders + within a week of her funeral, arriving in Portland on the third day of + April. I had attempted too much, however, and I proved it by fainting as I + got off the train, to the horror of the friendly delegation waiting to + receive us. The Portland women took very tender care of me, and in a few + days I was ready for work, but we found conditions even worse than we had + expected. Miss Gregg had collapsed utterly and was unable to give us any + information as to what had been done or planned, and we had to make a new + foundation. Miss Laura Clay, who had been in the Portland work for a few + weeks, proved a tower of strength, and we were soon aided further by Ida + Porter Boyer, who came on to take charge of the publicity department. + During the final six weeks of the campaign Alice Stone Blackwell, of + Boston, was also with us, while Kate Gordon took under her special charge + the organization of the city of Portland and the parlor-meeting work. Miss + Clay went into the state, where Emma Smith DeVoe and other speakers were + also working, and I spent my time between the office headquarters and "the + road," often working at my desk until it was time to rush off and take a + train for some town where I was to hold a night meeting. Miss Mary and + Miss Lucy Anthony confined themselves to office-work in the Portland + headquarters, where they gave us very valuable assistance. I have always + believed that we would have carried Oregon that year if the disaster of + the California earthquake had not occurred to divert the minds of Western + men from interest in anything save that great catastrophe. + </p> + <p> + On election day it seemed as if the heavens had opened to pour floods upon + us. Never before or since have I seen such incessant, relentless rain. + Nevertheless, the women of Portland turned out in force, led by Mrs. Sarah + Evans, president of the Oregon State Federation of Women's Clubs, while + all day long Dr. Pohl took me in her automobile from one polling-place to + another. At each we found representative women patiently enduring the + drenching rain while they tried to persuade men to vote for us. We + distributed sandwiches, courage, and inspiration among them, and tried to + cheer in the same way the women watchers, whose appointment we had secured + that year for the first time. Two women had been admitted to every + polling-place—but the way in which we had been able to secure their + presence throws a high-light on the difficulties we were meeting. We had + to persuade men candidates to select these women as watchers; and the only + men who allowed themselves to be persuaded were those running on minority + tickets and hopeless of election—the prohibitionists, the + socialists, and the candidates of the labor party. + </p> + <p> + The result of the election taught us several things. We had been told that + all the prohibitionists and socialists would vote for us. Instead, we + discovered that the percentage of votes for woman suffrage was about the + same in every party, and that whenever the voter had cast a straight vote, + without independence enough to "scratch" his ticket, that vote was usually + against us. On the other hand, when the ticket was "scratched" the vote + was usually in our favor, whatever political party the man belonged to. + </p> + <p> + Another interesting discovery was that the early morning vote was + favorable to our Cause the vote cast by working-men on their way to their + employment. During the middle of the forenoon and afternoon, when the idle + class was at the polls, the vote ran against us. The late vote, cast as + men were returning from their work, was again largely in our favor—and + we drew some conclusions from this. + </p> + <p> + Also, for the first time in the history of any campaign, the + anti-suffragists had organized against us. Portland held a small body of + women with antisuffrage sentiments, and there were others in the state who + formed themselves into an anti-suffrage society and carried on a more or + less active warfare. In this campaign, for the first time, obscene cards + directed against the suffragists were circulated at the polls; and while I + certainly do not accuse the Oregon anti-suffragists of circulating them, + it is a fact that the cards were distributed as coming from the + anti-suffragists—undoubtedly by some vicious element among the men + which had its own good reason for opposing us. The "antis" also suffered + in this campaign from the "pernicious activity" of their spokesman—a + lawyer with an unenviable reputation. After the campaign was over this man + declared that it had cost the opponents of our measure $300,000. + </p> + <p> + In 1907 Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont began to show an interest in suffrage work, + and through the influence of several leaders in the movement, notably that + of Mrs. Ida Husted Harper, she decided to assist in the establishment of + national headquarters in the State of New York. For a long time the + association's headquarters had been in Warren, Ohio, the home of Mrs. + Harriet Taylor Upton, then national treasurer, and it was felt that their + removal to a larger city would have a great influence in developing the + work. In 1909 Mrs. Belmont attended as a delegate the meeting of the + International Suffrage Alliance in London, and her interest in the Cause + deepened. She became convinced that the headquarters of the association + should be in New York City, and at our Seattle convention that same year I + presented to the delegates her generous offer to pay the rent and maintain + a press department for two years, on condition that our national + headquarters were established in New York. + </p> + <p> + This proposition was most gratefully accepted, and we promptly secured + headquarters in one of the most desirable buildings on Fifth Avenue. The + wisdom of the change was demonstrated at once by the extraordinary growth + of the work. During our last year in Warren, for example, the proceeds + from the sale of our literature were between $1,200 and $1,300. During the + first year in New York our returns from such sales were between $13,000 + and $14,000, and an equal growth was evident in our other departments. + </p> + <p> + At the end of two years Mrs. Belmont ceased to support the press + department or to pay the rent, but her timely aid had put us on our feet, + and we were able to continue our splendid progress and to meet our + expenses. + </p> + <p> + The special event of 1908 was the successful completion of the fund + President M. Carey Thomas of Bryn Mawr and Miss Mary Garrett had promised + in 1906 to raise for the Cause. For some time after Miss Anthony's death + nothing more was said of this, but I knew those two indefatigable friends + were not idle, and "Aunt Susan" had died in the blessed conviction that + their success was certain. In 1907 I received a letter from Miss Thomas + telling me that the project was progressing; and later she sent an outline + of her plan, which was to ask a certain number of wealthy persons to give + five hundred dollars a year each for a term of years. In all, a fund of + $60,000 was to be raised, of which we were to have $12,000 a year for five + years; $4,500 of the $12,000 was to be paid in salaries to three active + officers, and the remaining $7,500 was to go toward the work of the + association. The entire fund was to be raised by May 1, 1908, she added, + or the plan would be dropped. + </p> + <p> + I was on a lecture tour in Ohio in April, 1908, when one night, as I was + starting for the hall where the lecture was to be given, my telephone bell + rang. "Long distance wants you," the operator said, and the next minute a + voice I recognized as that of Miss Thomas was offering congratulations. + "The last dollar of the $60,000," she added, "was pledged at four o'clock + this afternoon." + </p> + <p> + I was so overcome by the news that I dropped the receiver and shook in a + violent nervous attack, and this trembling continued throughout my + lecture. It had not seemed possible that such a burden could be lifted + from my shoulders; $7,500 a year would greatly aid our work, and $4,500 a + year, even though divided among three officers, would be a most welcome + help to each. As subsequently arranged, the salaries did not come to us + through the National Association treasury; they were paid directly by Miss + Thomas and Miss Garrett as custodians of the fund. So it is quite correct + to say that no salaries have ever been paid by the National Association to + its officers. + </p> + <p> + Three years later, in 1911, another glorious surprise came to me in a very + innocent-looking letter. It was one of many in a heavy mail, and I opened + it absent-mindedly, for the day had been problem-filled. + </p> + <p> + The writer stated very simply that she wished to put a large amount into + my hands to invest, to draw on, and to use for the Cause as I saw fit. The + matter was to be a secret between us, and she wished no subsequent + accounting, as she had entire faith in my ability to put the money to the + best possible use. + </p> + <p> + The proposition rather dazed me, but I rallied my forces and replied that + I was infinitely grateful, but that the amount she mentioned was a large + one and I would much prefer to share the responsibility of disbursing it. + Could she not select one more person, at least, to share the secret and + act with me? She replied, telling me to make the selection, if I insisted + on having a confidante, and I sent her the names of Miss Thomas and Miss + Garrett, suggesting that as Miss Thomas had done so much of the work in + connection with the $60,000 fund, Miss Garrett might be willing to accept + the detail work of this fund. My friend replied that either of these + ladies would be perfectly satisfactory to her. She knew them both, she + said, and I was to arrange the matter as I chose, as it rested wholly in + my hands. + </p> + <p> + I used this money in subsequent state campaigns, and I am very sure that + to it was largely due the winning of Arizona, Kansas, and Oregon in 1912, + and of Montana and Nevada in 1914. It enabled us for the first time to + establish headquarters, secure an office force, and engage campaign + speakers. I also spent some of it in the states we lost then but will win + later—Ohio, Wisconsin, and Michigan—using in all more than + fifteen thousand dollars. In September, 1913, I received another check + from the same friend, showing that she at least was satisfied with the + results we had achieved. + </p> + <p> + "It goes to you with my love," she wrote, "and my earnest hopes for + further success—not the least of this a crowning of your faithful, + earnest, splendid work for our beloved Cause. How blessed it is that you + are our president and leader!" + </p> + <p> + I had talked to this woman only twice in my life, and I had not seen her + for years when her first check came; so her confidence in me was an even + greater gift than her royal donation toward our Cause. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0016" id="link2H_4_0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XIV. RECENT CAMPAIGNS + </h2> + <p> + The interval between the winning of Idaho and Utah in 1896 and that of + Washington in 1910 seemed very long to lovers of the Cause. We were + working as hard as ever—harder, indeed, for the opposition against + us was growing stronger as our opponents realized what triumphant woman + suffrage would mean to the underworld, the grafters, and the whited + sepulchers in public office. But in 1910 we were cheered by our Washington + victory, followed the next year by the winning of California. Then, with + our splendid banner year of 1912 came the winning of three states—Arizona, + Kansas, and Oregon—preceded by a campaign so full of vim and + interest that it must have its brief chronicle here. + </p> + <p> + To begin, we conducted in 1912 the largest number of campaigns we had ever + undertaken, working in six states in which constitutional amendments were + pending—Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Oregon, Arizona, and Kansas. + Personally, I began my work in Ohio in August, with the modest aspiration + of speaking in each of the principal towns in every one of these states. + In Michigan I had the invaluable assistance of Mrs. Lawrence Lewis, of + Philadelphia, and I visited at this time the region of my old home, + greatly changed since the days of my girlhood, and talked to the old + friends and neighbors who had turned out in force to welcome me. They + showed their further interest in the most satisfactory way, by carrying + the amendment in their part of the state. + </p> + <p> + At least four and five speeches a day were expected, and as usual we + traveled in every sort of conveyance, from freight-cars to eighty + horse-power French automobiles. In Eau Clair, Wisconsin, I spoke at the + races immediately after the passing of a procession of cattle. At the end + of the procession rode a woman in an ox-cart, to represent pioneer days. + She wore a calico gown and a sunbonnet, and drove her ox-team with genuine + skill; and the last touch to the picture she made was furnished by the + presence of a beautiful biplane which whirred lightly in the air above + her. The obvious comparison was too good to ignore, so I told my hearers + that their women to-day were still riding in ox-teams while the men soared + in the air, and that women's work in the world's service could be properly + done only when they too were allowed to fly. + </p> + <p> + In Oregon we were joined by Miss Lucy Anthony. There, at Pendleton, I + spoke during the great "round up," holding the meeting at night on the + street, in which thousands of horsemen—cowboys, Indians, and + ranchmen—were riding up and down, blowing horns, shouting, and + singing. It seemed impossible to interest an audience under such + conditions, but evidently the men liked variety, for when we began to + speak they quieted down and closed around us until we had an audience that + filled the streets in every direction and as far as our voices could + reach. Never have we had more courteous or enthusiastic listeners than + those wild and happy horsemen. Best of all, they not only cheered our + sentiments, but they followed up their cheers with their votes. I spoke + from an automobile, and when I had finished one of the cowboys rode close + to me and asked for my New York address. "You will hear from me later," he + said, when he had made a note of it. In time I received a great linen + banner, on which he had made a superb pen-and-ink sketch of himself and + his horse, and in every corner sketches of scenes in the different states + where women voted, together with drawings of all the details of cowboy + equipment. Over these were drawn the words: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + WOMAN SUFFRAGE—WE ARE ALL FOR IT. +</pre> + <p> + The banner hangs to-day in the National Headquarters. + </p> + <p> + In California Mr. Edwards presented me with the money to purchase the + diamond in Miss Anthony's flag pin representing the victory of his state + the preceding year; and in Arizona one of the highlights of the campaign + was the splendid effort of Mrs. Frances Munds, the state president, and + Mrs. Alice Park, of Palo Alto, California, who were carrying on the work + in their headquarters with tremendous courage, and, as it seemed to me, + almost unaided. Mrs. Park's specialty was the distribution of suffrage + literature, which she circulated with remarkable judgment. The Governor of + Arizona was in favor of our Cause, but there were so few active workers + available that to me, at least, the winning of the state was a happy + surprise. + </p> + <p> + In Kansas we stole some of the prestige of Champ Clark, who was making + political speeches in the same region. At one station a brass-band and a + great gathering were waiting for Mr. Clark's train just as our train drew + in; so the local suffragists persuaded the band to play for us, too, and I + made a speech to the inspiring accompaniment of "Hail to the Chief." The + passengers on our train were greatly impressed, thinking it was all for + us; the crowd at the station were glad to be amused until the great man + came, and I was glad of the opportunity to talk to so many representative + men—so we were all happy. + </p> + <p> + In the Soldiers' Home at Leavenworth I told the old men of the days when + my father and brothers left us in the wilderness, and my mother and I + cared for the home while they fought at the front—and I have always + believed that much of the large vote we received at Leavenworth was cast + by those old soldiers. + </p> + <p> + No one who knows the conditions doubts that we really won Michigan that + year as well as the three other states, but strange things were done in + the count. For example, in one precinct in Detroit forty more votes were + counted against our amendment than there were voters in the district. In + other districts there were seven or eight more votes than voters. Under + these conditions it is not surprising that, after the vigorous recounting + following the first wide-spread reports of our success, Michigan was + declared lost to us. + </p> + <p> + The campaign of 1914, in which we won Montana and Nevada, deserves special + mention here. I must express also my regret that as this book will be on + the presses before the campaign of 1915 is ended, I cannot include in + these reminiscences the results of our work in New York and other states. + </p> + <p> + As a beginning of the 1914 campaign I spent a day in Chicago, on the way + to South Dakota, to take my part in a moving-picture suffrage play. It was + my first experience as an actress, and I found it a taxing one. As a + modest beginning I was ordered to make a speech in thirty-three seconds—something + of a task, as my usual time allowance for a speech is one hour. The + manager assured me, however, that a speech of thirty-three seconds made + twenty-seven feet of film—enough, he thought, to convert even a + lieutenant-governor! + </p> + <p> + The Dakota campaigns, as usual, resolved themselves largely into feats of + physical endurance, in which I was inspired by the fine example of the + state presidents—Mrs. John Pyle of South Dakota and Mrs. Clara V. + Darrow of North Dakota. Every day we made speeches from the rear platform + of the trains on which we were traveling—sometimes only two or + three, sometimes half a dozen. One day I rode one hundred miles in an + automobile and spoke in five different towns. Another day I had to make a + journey in a freight-car. It was, with a few exceptions, the roughest + traveling I had yet known, and it took me six hours to reach my + destination. While I was gathering up hair-pins and pulling myself + together to leave the car at the end of the ride I asked the conductor how + far we had traveled. + </p> + <p> + "Forty miles," said he, tersely. + </p> + <p> + "That means forty miles AHEAD," I murmured. "How far up and down?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, a hundred miles up and down," grinned the conductor, and the exchange + of persiflage cheered us both. + </p> + <p> + Though we did not win, I have very pleasant memories of North Dakota, for + Mrs. Darrow accompanied me during the entire campaign, and took every + burden from my shoulders so efficiently that I had nothing to do but make + speeches. + </p> + <p> + In Montana our most interesting day was that of the State Fair, which + ended with a suffrage parade that I was invited to lead. On this occasion + the suffragists wished me to wear my cap and gown and my doctor's hood, + but as I had not brought those garments with me, we borrowed and I proudly + wore the cap and gown of the Unitarian minister. It was a small but really + beautiful parade, and all the costumes for it were designed by the state + president, Miss Jeannette Rankin, to whose fine work, by the way, combined + with the work of her friends, the winning of Montana was largely due. + </p> + <p> + In Butte the big strike was on, and the town was under martial law. A + large banquet was given us there, and when we drove up to the club-house + where this festivity was to be held we were stopped by two armed guards + who confronted us with stern faces and fixed bayonets. The situation + seemed so absurd that I burst into happy laughter, and thus deeply + offended the earnest young guards who were grasping the fixed bayonets. + This sad memory was wiped out, however, by the interest of the banquet—a + very delightful affair, attended by the mayor of Butte and other local + dignitaries. + </p> + <p> + In Nevada the most interesting feature of the campaign was the splendid + work of the women. In each of the little towns there was the same spirit + of ceaseless activity and determination. The president of the State + Association, Miss Anne Martin, who was at the head of the campaign work, + accompanied me one Sunday when we drove seventy miles in a motor and spoke + four times, and she was also my companion in a wonderful journey over the + mountains. Miss Martin was a tireless and worthy leader of the fine + workers in her state. + </p> + <p> + In Missouri, under the direction of Mrs. Walter McNabb Miller, and in + Nebraska, where Mrs. E. Draper Smith was managing the campaign, we had + some inspiring meetings. At Lincoln Mrs. William Jennings Bryan introduced + me to the biggest audience of the year, and the programme took on a + special interest from the fact that it included Mrs. Bryan's debut as a + speaker for suffrage. She is a tall and attractive woman with an extremely + pleasant voice, and she made an admirable speech—clear, terse, and + much to the point, putting herself on record as a strong supporter of the + woman-suffrage movement. There was also an amusing aftermath of this + occasion, which Secretary Bryan himself confided to me several months + later when I met him in Atlantic City. He assured me, with the deep + sincerity he assumes so well, that for five nights after my speech in + Lincoln his wife had kept him awake listening to her report of it—and + he added, solemnly, that he now knew it "by heart." + </p> + <p> + A less pleasing memory of Nebraska is that I lost my voice there and my + activities were sadly interrupted. But I was taken to the home of Mr. and + Mrs. Francis A. Brogan, of Omaha, and supplied with a trained nurse, a + throat specialist, and such care and comfort that I really enjoyed the + enforced rest—knowing, too, that the campaign committee was carrying + on our work with great enthusiasm. + </p> + <p> + In Missouri one of our most significant meetings was in Bowling Green, the + home of Champ Clark, Speaker of the House. Mrs. Clark gave a reception, + made a speech, and introduced me at the meeting, as Mrs. Bryan had done in + Lincoln. She is one of the brightest memories of my Missouri experience, + for, with few exceptions, she is the most entertaining woman I have ever + met. Subsequently we had an all-day motor journey together, during which + Mrs. Clark rarely stopped talking and I even more rarely stopped laughing. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0017" id="link2H_4_0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XV. CONVENTION INCIDENTS + </h2> + <p> + From 1887 to 1914 we had a suffrage convention every year, and I attended + each of them. In preceding chapters I have mentioned various convention + episodes of more or less importance. Now, looking back over them all as I + near the end of these reminiscences, I recall a few additional incidents + which had a bearing on later events. There was, for example, the + much-discussed attack on suffrage during the Atlanta convention of 1895, + by a prominent clergyman of that city whose name I mercifully withhold. On + the Sunday preceding our arrival this gentleman preached a sermon warning + every one to keep away from our meetings, as our effort was not to secure + the franchise for women, but to encourage the intermarriage of the black + and white races. Incidentally he declared that the suffragists were trying + to break up the homes of America and degrade the morals of women, and that + we were all infidels and blasphemers. He ended with a personal attack on + me, saying that on the previous Sunday I had preached in the Epworth + Memorial Methodist Church of Cleveland, Ohio, a sermon which was of so + blasphemous a nature that nothing could purify the church after it except + to burn it down. + </p> + <p> + As usual at our conventions, I had been announced to preach the sermon at + our Sunday conference, and I need hardly point out that the reverend + gentleman's charge created a deep public interest in this effort. I had + already selected a text, but I immediately changed my plans and announced + that I would repeat the sermon I had delivered in Cleveland and which the + Atlanta minister considered so blasphemous. The announcement brought out + an audience which filled the Opera House and called for a squad of police + officers to keep in order the street crowd that could not secure entrance. + The assemblage had naturally expected that I would make some reply to the + clergyman's attack, but I made no reference whatever to him. I merely + repeated, with emphasis, the sermon I had delivered in Cleveland. + </p> + <p> + At the conclusion of the service one of the trustees of my reverend + critic's church came and apologized for his pastor. He had a high regard + for him, the trustee said, but in this instance there could be no doubt in + the mind of any one who had heard both sermons that of the two mine was + the tolerant, the reverent, and the Christian one. The attack made many + friends for us, first because of its injustice, and next because of the + good-humored tolerance with which the suffragists accepted it. + </p> + <p> + The Atlanta convention, by the way, was arranged and largely financed by + the Misses Howard—three sisters living in Columbus, Georgia, and + each an officer of the Georgia Woman Suffrage Association. It is a + remarkable fact that in many of our Southern states the suffrage movement + has been led by three sisters. In Kentucky the three Clay sisters were for + many years leaders in the work. In Texas the three Finnegan sisters did + splendid work; in Louisiana the Gordon sisters were our stanchest allies, + while in Virginia we had the invaluable aid of Mary Johnston, the + novelist, and her two sisters. We used to say, laughingly, if there was a + failure to organize any state in the South, that it must be due to the + fact that no family there had three sisters to start the movement. + </p> + <p> + From the Atlanta convention we went directly to Washington to attend the + convention of the National Council of Women, and on the first day of this + council Frederick Douglass came to the meeting. Mr. Douglass had a special + place in the hearts of suffragists, for the reason that at the first + convention ever held for woman suffrage in the United States (at Seneca + Falls, New York) he was the only person present who stood by Elizabeth + Cady Stanton when she presented her resolution in favor of votes for + women. Even Lucretia Mott was startled by this radical step, and privately + breathed into the ear of her friend, "Elizabeth, thee is making us + ridiculous!" Frederick Douglass, however, took the floor in defense of + Mrs. Stanton's motion, a service we suffragists never forgot. + </p> + <p> + Therefore, when the presiding officer of the council, Mrs. May Wright + Sewall, saw Mr. Douglass enter the convention hall in Washington on this + particular morning, she appointed Susan B. Anthony and me a committee to + escort him to a seat on the platform, which we gladly did. Mr. Douglass + made a short speech and then left the building, going directly to his + home. There, on entering his hall, he had an attack of heart failure and + dropped dead as he was removing his overcoat. His death cast a gloom over + the convention, and his funeral, which took place three days later, was + attended by many prominent men and women who were among the delegates. + Miss Anthony and I were invited to take part in the funeral services, and + she made a short address, while I offered a prayer. + </p> + <p> + The event had an aftermath in Atlanta, for it led our clerical enemy to + repeat his charges against us, and to offer the funeral of Frederick + Douglass as proof that we were hand in glove with the negro race. + </p> + <p> + Under the gracious direction of Miss Kate Gordon and the Louisiana Woman + Suffrage Association, we held an especially inspiring convention in New + Orleans in 1903. In no previous convention were arrangements more perfect, + and certainly nowhere else did the men of a community co-operate more + generously with the women in entertaining us. A club of men paid the rent + of our hall, chartered a steamboat and gave us a ride on the Mississippi, + and in many other ways helped to make the occasion a success. Miss Gordon, + who was chairman of the programme committee, introduced the innovation of + putting me before the audience for twenty minutes every evening, at the + close of the regular session, as a target for questions. Those present + were privileged to ask any questions they pleased, and I answered them—if + I could. + </p> + <p> + We were all conscious of the dangers attending a discussion of the negro + question, and it was understood among the Northern women that we must take + every precaution to avoid being led into such discussion. It had not been + easy to persuade Miss Anthony of the wisdom of this course; her way was to + face issues squarely and out in the open. But she agreed that we must + respect the convictions of the Southern men and women who were + entertaining us so hospitably. + </p> + <p> + On the opening night, as I took my place to answer questions, almost the + first slip passed up bore these words: + </p> + <p> + What is your purpose in bringing your convention to the South? Is it the + desire of suffragists to force upon us the social equality of black and + white women? Political equality lays the foundation for social equality. + If you give the ballot to women, won't you make the black and white woman + equal politically and therefore lay the foundation for a future claim of + social equality? + </p> + <p> + I laid the paper on one side and did not answer the question. The second + night it came to me again, put in the same words, and again I ignored it. + The third night it came with this addition: + </p> + <p> + Evidently you do not dare to answer this question. Therefore our + conclusion is that this is your purpose. + </p> + <p> + When I had read this I went to the front of the platform. + </p> + <p> + "Here," I said, "is a question which has been asked me on three successive + nights. I have not answered it because we Northern women had decided not + to enter into any discussion of the race question. But now I am told by + the writer of this note that we dare not answer it. I wish to say that we + dare to answer it if you dare to have it answered—and I leave it to + you to decide whether I shall answer it or not." + </p> + <p> + I read the question aloud. Then the audience called for the answer, and I + gave it in these words, quoted as accurately as I can remember them: + </p> + <p> + "If political equality is the basis of social equality, and if by granting + political equality you lay the foundation for a claim of social equality, + I can only answer that you have already laid that claim. You did not wait + for woman suffrage, but disfranchised both your black and your white + women, thus making them politically equal. But you have done more than + that. You have put the ballot into the hands of your black men, thus + making them the political superiors of your white women. Never before in + the history of the world have men made former slaves the political masters + of their former mistresses!" + </p> + <p> + The point went home and it went deep. I drove it in a little further. + </p> + <p> + "The women of the South are not alone," I said, "in their humiliation. All + the women of America share it with them. There is no other nation in the + world in which women hold the position of political degradation our + American women hold to-day. German women are governed by German men; + French women are governed by French men. But in these United States + American women are governed by every race of men under the light of the + sun. There is not a color from white to black, from red to yellow, there + is not a nation from pole to pole, that does not send its contingent to + govern American women. If American men are willing to leave their women in + a position as degrading as this they need not be surprised when American + women resolve to lift themselves out of it." + </p> + <p> + For a full moment after I had finished there was absolute silence in the + audience. We did not know what would happen. Then, suddenly, as the truth + of the statement struck them, the men began to applaud—and the + danger of that situation was over. + </p> + <p> + Another episode had its part in driving the suffrage lesson home to + Southern women. The Legislature had passed a bill permitting tax-paying + women to vote at any election where special taxes were to be imposed for + improvements, and the first election following the passage of this bill + was one in New Orleans, in which the question of better drainage for the + city was before the public. Miss Gordon and the suffrage association known + as the Era Club entered enthusiastically into the fight for good drainage. + According to the law women could vote by proxy if they preferred, instead + of in person, so Miss Gordon drove to the homes of the old conservative + Creole families and other families whose women were unwilling to vote in + public, and she collected their proxies while incidentally she showed them + what position they held under the law. + </p> + <p> + With each proxy it was necessary to have the signature of a witness, but + according to the Louisiana law no woman could witness a legal document. + Miss Gordon was driven from place to place by her colored coachman, and + after she had secured the proxy of her temporary hostess it was usually + discovered that there was no man around the place to act as a witness. + This was Miss Gordon's opportunity. With a smile of great sweetness she + would say, "I will have Sam come in and help us out"; and the colored + coachman would get down from his box, and by scrawling his signature on + the proxy of the aristocratic lady he would give it the legal value it + lacked. In this way Miss Gordon secured three hundred proxies, and three + hundred very conservative women had an opportunity to compare their legal + standing with Sam's. The drainage bill was carried and interest in woman + suffrage developed steadily. + </p> + <p> + The special incident of the Buffalo convention of 1908 was the receipt of + a note which was passed up to me as I sat on the platform. When I opened + it a check dropped out—a check so large that I was sure it had been + sent by mistake. However, after asking one or two friends on the platform + if I had read it correctly, I announced to the audience that if a certain + amount were subscribed immediately I would reveal a secret—a very + interesting secret. Audiences are as curious as individuals. The amount + was at once subscribed. Then I held up a check for $10,000, given for our + campaign work by Mrs. George Howard Lewis, in memory of Susan B. Anthony, + and I read to the audience the charming letter that accompanied it. The + money was used during the campaigns of the following year—part of it + in Washington, where an amendment was already submitted. + </p> + <p> + In a previous chapter I have described the establishment of our New York + headquarters as a result of the generous offer of Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont at + the Seattle convention in 1909. During our first year in these beautiful + Fifth Avenue rooms Mrs. Pankhurst made her first visit to America, and we + gave her a reception there. This, however, was before the adoption of the + destructive methods which have since marked the activities of the band of + militant suffragists of which Mrs. Pankhurst is president. There has never + been any sympathy among American suffragists for the militant suffrage + movement in England, and personally I am wholly opposed to it. I do not + believe in war in any form; and if violence on the part of men is + undesirable in achieving their ends, it is much more so on the part of + women; for women never appear to less advantage than in physical combats + with men. As for militancy in America, no generation that attempted it + could win. No victory could come to us in any state where militant methods + were tried. They are undignified, unworthy—in other words, + un-American. + </p> + <p> + The Washington convention of 1910 was graced by the presence of President + Taft, who, at the invitation of Mrs. Rachel Foster Avery, made an address. + It was understood, of course, that he was to come out strongly for woman + suffrage; but, to our great disappointment, the President, a most charming + and likable gentleman, seemed unable to grasp the significance of the + occasion. He began his address with fulsome praise of women, which was + accepted in respectful silence. Then he got round to woman suffrage, + floundered helplessly, became confused, and ended with the most + unfortunately chosen words he could have uttered: "I am opposed," he said, + "to the extension of suffrage to women not fitted to vote. You would + hardly expect to put the ballot into the hands of barbarians or savages in + the jungle!" + </p> + <p> + The dropping of these remarkable words into a suffrage convention was + naturally followed by an oppressive silence, which Mr. Taft, now wholly + bereft of his self-possession, broke by saying that the best women would + not vote and the worst women would. + </p> + <p> + In his audience were many women from suffrage states—high-minded + women, wives and mothers, who had voted for Mr. Taft. The remarks to which + they had just listened must have seemed to them a poor return. Some one + hissed—some man, some woman—no one knows which except the + culprit—and a demonstration started which I immediately silenced. + Then the President finished his address. He was very gracious to us when + he left, shaking hands with many of us, and being especially cordial to + Senator Owens's aged mother, who had come to the convention to hear him + make his maiden speech on woman suffrage. I have often wondered what he + thought of that speech as he drove back to the White House. Probably he + regretted as earnestly as we did that he had made it. + </p> + <p> + In 1912, at an official board meeting at Bryn Mawr, Mrs. Stanley McCormack + was appointed to fill a vacancy on the National Board. Subsequently she + contributed $6,000 toward the payment of debts incident to our temporary + connection with the Woman's Journal of Boston, and did much efficient work + for us, To me, personally, the entrance of Mrs. Stanley McCormack into our + work has been a source of the deepest gratification and comfort. I can + truly say of her what Susan B. Anthony said of me, "She is my right + bower." At Nashville, in 1914, she was elected first vice-president, and + to a remarkable degree she has since relieved me of the burden of the + technical work of the presidency, including the oversight of the work at + headquarters. To this she gives all her time, aided by an executive + secretary who takes charge of the routine work of the association. She has + thus made it possible for me to give the greater part of my time to the + field in which such inspiring opportunities still confront us—campaign + work in the various states. + </p> + <p> + To Mrs. Medill McCormack also we are indebted for most admirable work and + enthusiastic support. At the Washington (D.C.) convention in 1913 she was + made the chairman of the Congressional Committee, with Mrs. Antoinette + Funk, Mrs. Helen Gardner of Washington, and Mrs. Booth of Chicago as her + assistants. The results they achieved were so brilliant that they were + unanimously re-elected to the same positions this year, with the addition + of Miss Jeannette Rankin, whose energy and service had helped to win for + us the state of Montana. + </p> + <p> + It was largely due to the work of this Congressional Committee, supported + by the large number of states which had been won for suffrage, that we + secured such an excellent vote in the Lower House of Congress on the bill + to amend the national Constitution granting suffrage to the women of the + United States. This measure, known as the Susan B. Anthony bill, had been + introduced into every Congress for forty-three years by the National Woman + Suffrage Association. In 1914, for the first time, it was brought out of + committee, debated, and voted upon in the Lower House. We received 174 + votes in favor of it to 204 against it. The previous spring, in the same + Congress, the same bill passed the Senate by 35 votes for it to 33 votes + against it. + </p> + <p> + The most interesting features of the Washington convention of 1913 were + the labor mass-meetings led by Jane Addams and the hearing before the + Rules Committee of the Lower House of Congress—the latter the first + hearing ever held before this Committee for the purpose of securing a + Committee on Suffrage in the Lower House to correspond with a similar + committee in the Senate. For many years we had had hearings before the + Judiciary Committee of the Lower House, which was such a busy committee + that it had neither time nor interest to give to our measure. We therefore + considered it necessary to have a special committee of our own. The + hearing began on the morning of Wednesday, the third of December, and + lasted for two hours. Then the anti-suffragists were given time, and their + hearing began the following day, continued throughout that day and during + the morning of the next day, when our National Association was given an + opportunity for rebuttal argument in the afternoon. It was the longest + hearing in the history of the suffrage movement, and one of the most + important. + </p> + <p> + During the session of Congress in 1914 another strenuous effort was made + to secure the appointment of a special suffrage committee in the Lower + House. But when success began to loom large before us the Democrats were + called in caucus by the minority leader, Mr. Underwood, of Alabama, and + they downed our measure by a vote of 127 against it to 58 for it. This was + evidently done by the Democrats because of the fear that the united votes + of Republican and Progressive members, with those of certain Democratic + members, would carry the measure; whereas if this caucus were called, and + an unfavorable vote taken, "the gentlemen's agreement" which controls + Democratic party action in Congress would force Democrats in favor of + suffrage to vote against the appointment of the committee, which of course + would insure its defeat. + </p> + <p> + The caucus blocked the appointment of the committee, but it gave great + encouragement to the suffragists of the country, for they knew it to be a + tacit admission that the measure would receive a favorable vote if it came + before Congress unhampered. + </p> + <p> + Another feature of the 1913 convention was the new method of electing + officers, by which a primary vote was taken on nominations, and afterward + a regular ballot was cast; one officer was added to the members of the + official board, making nine instead of eight, the former number. The new + officers elected were Mrs. Breckenridge of Kentucky, the + great-granddaughter of Henry Clay, and Mrs. Catherine Ruutz-Rees of + Greenwich, Connecticut. The old officers were re-elected—Miss Jane + Addams as first vice-president, Mrs. Breckenridge and Mrs. Ruutz-Rees as + second and third vice-presidents, Mrs. Mary Ware Dennett as corresponding + secretary, Mrs. Susan Fitzgerald as recording secretary, Mrs. Stanley + McCormack as treasurer, Mrs. Joseph Bowen of Chicago and Mrs. James Lees + Laidlaw of New York City as auditors. + </p> + <p> + It would be difficult to secure a group of women of more marked ability, + or better-known workers in various lines of philanthropic and educational + work, than the members composing this admirable board. At the convention + of 1914, held in Nashville, several of them resigned, and at present (in + 1914) the "National's" affairs are in the hands of this inspiring group, + again headed by the much-criticized and chastened writer of these + reminiscences: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Mrs. Stanley McCormack, first vice-president. + Mrs. Desha Breckenridge, second vice-president. + Dr. Katharine B. Davis, third vice-president. + Mrs. Henry Wade Rogers, treasurer. + Mrs. John Clark, corresponding secretary. + Mrs. Susan Walker Fitzgerald, recording secretary. + Mrs. Medill McCormack, } + } Auditors + Mrs. Walter McNabb Miller, of Missouri } +</pre> + <p> + In a book of this size, and covering the details of my own life as well as + the development of the great Cause, it is, of course, impossible to + mention by name each woman who has worked for us—though, indeed, I + would like to make a roll of honor and give them all their due. In looking + back I am surprised to see how little I have said about many women with + whom I have worked most closely—Rachel Foster Avery, for example, + with whom I lived happily for several years; Ida Husted Harper, the + historian of the suffrage movement and the biographer of Miss Anthony, + with whom I made many delightful voyages to Europe; Alice Stone Blackwell, + Rev. Mary Saffard, Jane Addams, Katharine Waugh McCullough, Ella Stewart, + Mrs. Mary Wood Swift, Mrs. Mary S. Sperry, Mary Cogshall, Florence Kelly, + Mrs. Ogden Mills Reid and Mrs. Norman Whitehouse (to mention only two of + the younger "live wires" in our New York work), Sophonisba Breckenridge, + Mrs. Clara B. Arthur, Rev. Caroline Bartlett Crane, Mrs. James Lees + Laidlaw, Mrs. Raymond Brown, the splendidly executive president of our New + York State Suffrage Association, and my benefactress, Mrs. George Howard + Lewis of Buffalo. To all of them, and to thousands of others, I make my + grateful acknowledgment of indebtedness for friendship and for help. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0018" id="link2H_4_0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XVI. COUNCIL EPISODES + </h2> + <p> + I have said much of the interest attending the international meetings held + in Chicago, London, Berlin, and Stockholm. That I have said less about + those in Copenhagen, Geneva, The Hague, Budapest, and other cities does + not mean that these were less important, and certainly the wonderful women + leaders of Europe who made them so brilliant must not be passed over in + silence. + </p> + <p> + First, however, the difference between the Suffrage Alliance meetings and + the International Council meetings should be explained. The Council + meetings are made up of societies from the various nations which are + auxiliary to the International Council—these societies representing + all lines of women's activities, whether educational, industrial, or + social, while the membership, including more than eleven million women, + represents probably the largest organization of women in the world. The + International Suffrage Alliance represents the suffrage interest + primarily, whereas the International Council has only a suffrage + department. So popular did this International Alliance become after its + formation in Berlin by Mrs. Catt, in 1904, that at the Copenhagen meeting, + only three years later, more than sixteen different nations were + represented by regular delegates. + </p> + <p> + It was unfortunate, therefore, that I chose this occasion to make a + spectacular personal failure in the pulpit. I had been invited to preach + the convention sermon, and for the first time in my life I had an + interpreter. Few experiences, I believe, can be more unpleasant than to + stand up in a pulpit, utter a remark, and then wait patiently while it is + repeated in a tongue one does not understand, by a man who is putting its + gist in his own words and quite possibly giving it his own interpretative + twist. I was very unhappy, and I fear I showed it, for I felt, as I looked + at the faces of those friends who understood Danish, that they were not + getting what I was giving them. Nor were they, for I afterward learned + that the interpreter, a good orthodox brother, had given the sermon an + ultra-orthodox bias which those who knew my creed certainly did not + recognize. The whole experience greatly disheartened me, but no doubt it + was good for my soul. + </p> + <p> + During the Copenhagen meeting we were given a banquet by the City Council, + and in the course of his speech of welcome one of the city fathers airily + remarked that he hoped on our next visit to Copenhagen there would be + women members in the Council to receive us. At the time this seemed merely + a pleasant jest, but two years from that day a bill was enacted by + Parliament granting municipal suffrage to the women of Denmark, and seven + women were elected to the City Council of Copenhagen. So rapidly does the + woman suffrage movement grow in these inspiring days! + </p> + <p> + Recalling the International Council of 1899 in London, one of my most + vivid pictures has Queen Victoria for its central figure. The English + court was in mourning at the time and no public audiences were being held; + but we were invited to Windsor with the understanding that, although the + Queen could not formally receive us, she would pass through our lines, + receiving Lady Aberdeen and giving the rest of us an opportunity to + courtesy and obtain Her Majesty's recognition of the Cause. The Queen + arranged with her chamberlain that we should be given tea and a collation; + but before this refreshment was served, indeed immediately after our + arrival, she entered her familiar little pony-cart and was driven slowly + along lines of bowing women who must have looked like a wheat-field in a + high wind. + </p> + <p> + Among us was a group of Indian women, and these, dressed in their native + costumes, contributed a picturesque bit of brilliant color to the scene as + they deeply salaamed. They arrested the eye of the Queen, who stopped and + spoke a few cordial words to them. This gave the rest of us an excellent + opportunity to observe her closely, and I admit that my English blood + stirred in me suddenly and loyally as I studied the plump little figure. + She was dressed entirely and very simply in black, with a quaint flat + black hat and a black cape. The only bit of color about her was a + black-and-white parasol with a gold handle. It was, however, her face + which held me, for it gave me a wholly different impression of the Queen + from those I had received from her photographs. Her pictured eyes were + always rather cold, and her pictured face rather haughty; but there was a + very sweet and winning softness in the eyes she turned upon the Indian + women, and her whole expression was unexpectedly gentle and benignant. + Behind her, as a personal attendant, strode an enormous East-Indian in + full native costume, and closely surrounding her were gentlemen of her + household, each in uniform. + </p> + <p> + By this time my thoughts were on my courtesy, which I desired to make + conventional if not graceful; but nature has not made it easy for me to + double to the earth as Lady Aberdeen and the Indian women were doing, and + I fear I accomplished little save an exhibition of good intentions. The + Queen, however, was getting into the spirit of the occasion. She stopped + to speak to a Canadian representative, and she would, I think, have ended + by talking to many others; but, just at the psychological moment, a woman + rushed out of the line, seized Her Majesty's hand and kissed it—and + Victoria, startled and possibly fearing a general onslaught, hurriedly + passed on. + </p> + <p> + Another picture I recall was made by the Duchess of Sutherland, the + Countess of Aberdeen, and the Countess of Warwick standing together to + receive us at the foot of the marble stairway in Sutherland House. All of + them literally blazed with jewels, and the Countess of Aberdeen wore the + famous Aberdeen emerald. At Lady Battersea's reception I had my first + memorial meeting with Mary Anderson Navarro, and was able to thank her for + the pleasure she had given me in Boston so long ago. Then I reproached her + mildly for taking herself away from us, pointing out that a great gift had + been given her which she should have continued to share with the world. + </p> + <p> + "Come and see my baby," laughed Madame Navarro. "That's the best argument + I can offer to refute yours." + </p> + <p> + At the same reception I had an interesting talk with James Bryce. He had + recently written his American Commonwealth, and I had just read it. It + was, therefore, the first subject I introduced in our conversation. Mr. + Bryce's comment amused me. He told me he had quite changed his opinion + toward the suffrage aspirations of women, because so many women had read + his book that he really believed they were intelligent, and he had come to + feel much more kindly toward them. These were not his exact words, but his + meaning was unmistakable and his mental attitude artlessly sincere. And, + on reflection, I agree with him that the American Commonwealth is + something of an intellectual hurdle for the average human mind. + </p> + <p> + In 1908 the International Council was held in Geneva, and here, for the + first time, we were shown, as entertainment, the dances of a country—the + scene being an especially brilliant one, as all the dancers wore their + native costumes. Also, for the first time in the history of Geneva, the + buildings of Parliament were opened to women and a woman's organization + was given the key to the city. At that time the Swiss women were making + their fight for a vote in church matters, and we helped their cause as + much as we could. To-day many Swiss women are permitted to exercise this + right—the first political privilege free Switzerland has given them. + </p> + <p> + The International Alliance meeting in Amsterdam in 1909 was the largest + held up to that time, and much of its success was due to Dr. Aletta + Jacobs, the president of the National Suffrage Association of Holland. Dr. + Jacobs had some wonderful helpers among the women of her country, and she + herself was an ideal leader—patient, enthusiastic, and tireless. + That year the governments of Australia, Norway, and Finland paid the + expenses of the delegates from those countries—a heartening + innovation. One of the interesting features of the meeting was a cantata + composed for the occasion and given by the Queen's Royal Band, under the + direction of a woman—Catharine van Rennes, one of the most + distinguished composers and teachers in Holland. She wrote both words and + music of her cantata and directed it admirably; and the musicians of the + Queen's Band entered fully into its spirit and played like men inspired. + That night we had more music, as well as a never-to-be-forgotten + exhibition of folk-dancing. + </p> + <p> + The same year, in June, we held the meeting of the International Council + in Toronto, and, as Canada has never been eagerly interested in suffrage, + an unsuccessful effort was made to exclude this subject from the + programme. I was asked to preside at the suffrage meetings on the artless + and obvious theory that I would thus be kept too busy to say much. I had + hoped that the Countess of Aberdeen, who was the president of the + International Council, would take the chair; but she declined to do this, + or even to speak, as the Earl of Aberdeen had recently been appointed + Viceroy of Ireland, and she desired to spare him any embarrassment which + might be caused by her public activities. We recognized the wisdom of her + decision, but, of course, regretted it; and I was therefore especially + pleased when, on suffrage night, the countess, accompanied by her aides in + their brilliant uniforms, entered the hall. We had not been sure that she + would be with us, but she entered in her usual charming and gracious + manner, took a seat beside me on the platform, and showed a deep interest + in the programme and the great gathering before us. + </p> + <p> + As the meeting went on I saw that she was growing more and more + enthusiastic, and toward the end of the evening I quietly asked her if she + did not wish to say a few words. She said she would say a very few. I had + put myself at the end of the programme, intending to talk about twenty + minutes; but before beginning my speech I introduced the countess, and by + this time she was so enthusiastic that, to my great delight, she used up + my twenty minutes in a capital speech in which she came out vigorously for + woman suffrage. It gave us the best and timeliest help we could have had, + and was a great impetus to the movement. + </p> + <p> + In London, at the Alliance Council of 1911, we were entertained for the + first time by a suffrage organization of men, and by the organized + actresses of the nation, as well as by the authors. + </p> + <p> + In Stockholm, the following year, we listened to several of the most + interesting women speakers in the world—Selma Lagerlof, who had just + received the Nobel prize, Rosica Schwimmer of Hungary, Dr. Augsburg of + Munich, and Mrs. Philip Snowden of England. Miss Schwimmer and Mrs. + Snowden have since become familiar to American audiences, but until that + time I had not heard either of them, and I was immensely impressed by + their ability and their different methods—Miss Schwimmer being all + force and fire, alive from her feet to her finger-tips, Mrs. Snowden all + quiet reserve and dignity. Dr. Augsburg wore her hair short and dressed in + a most eccentric manner; but we forgot her appearance as we listened to + her, for she was an inspired speaker. + </p> + <p> + Selma Lagerlof's speech made the great audience weep. Men as well as women + openly wiped their eyes as she described the sacrifice and suffering of + Swedish women whose men had gone to America to make a home there, and who, + when they were left behind, struggled alone, waiting and hoping for the + message to join their husbands, which too often never came. The speech + made so great an impression that we had it translated and distributed + among the Swedes of the United States wherever we held meetings in Swedish + localities. + </p> + <p> + Miss Lagerlof interested me extremely, and I was delighted by an + invitation to breakfast with her one morning. At our first meeting she had + seemed rather cold and shy—a little "difficult," as we say; but when + we began to talk I found her frank, cordial, and full of magnetism. She is + self-conscious about her English, but really speaks our language very + well. Her great interest at the time was in improving the condition of the + peasants near her home. She talked of this work and of her books and of + the Council programme with such friendly intimacy that when we parted I + felt that I had always known her. + </p> + <p> + At the Hague Council in 1913 I was the guest of Mrs. Richard Halter, to + whom I am also indebted for a beautiful and wonderful motor journey from + end to end of Holland, bringing up finally in Amsterdam at the home of Dr. + Aletta Jacobs. Here we met two young Holland women, Miss Boissevain and + Rosa Manus, both wealthy, both anxious to help their countrywomen, but + still a little uncertain as to the direction of their efforts. They came + to Mrs. Catt and me and asked our advice as to what they should do, with + the result that later they organized and put through, largely unaided, a + national exposition showing the development of women's work from 1813 to + 1913. The suffrage-room at this exposition showed the progress of suffrage + in all parts of the world; but when the Queen of Holland visited the + building she expressed a wish not to be detained in this room, as she was + not interested in suffrage. The Prince Consort, however, spent much time + in it, and wanted the whole suffrage movement explained to him, which was + done cheerfully and thoroughly by Miss Boissevain and Miss Manus. The + following winter, when the Queen read her address from the throne, she + expressed an interest in so changing the Constitution of Holland that + suffrage might possibly be extended to women. We felt that this change of + heart was due to the suffrage-room arranged by our two young friends—aided, + probably, by a few words from the Prince Consort! + </p> + <p> + Immediately after these days at Amsterdam we started for Budapest to + attend the International Alliance Convention there, and incidentally we + indulged in a series of two-day conventions en route—one at Berlin, + one at Dresden, one at Prague, and one at Vienna. At Prague I disgraced + myself by being in my hotel room in a sleep of utter exhaustion at the + hour when I was supposed to be responding to an address of welcome by the + mayor; and the high-light of the evening session in that city falls on the + intellectual brow of a Bohemian lady who insisted on making her address in + the Czech language, which she poured forth for exactly one hour and + fifteen minutes. I began my address at a quarter of twelve and left the + hall at midnight. Later I learned that the last speaker began her remarks + at a quarter past one in the morning. + </p> + <p> + It may be in order to add here that Vienna did for me what Berlin had done + for Susan B. Anthony—it gave me the ovation of my life. At the + conclusion of my speech the great audience rose and, still standing, + cheered for many minutes. I was immensely surprised and deeply touched by + the unexpected tribute; but any undue elation I might have experienced was + checked by the memory of the skeptical snort with which one of my auditors + had received me. He was very German, and very, very frank. After one + pained look at me he rose to leave the hall. + </p> + <p> + "THAT old woman!" he exclaimed. "She cannot make herself heard." + </p> + <p> + He was half-way down the aisle when the opening words of my address caught + up with him and stopped him. Whatever their meaning may have been, it was + at least carried to the far ends of that great hall, for the old fellow + had piqued me a bit and I had given my voice its fullest volume. He + crowded into an already over-occupied pew and stared at me with goggling + eyes. + </p> + <p> + "Mein Gott!" he gasped. "Mein Gott, she could be heard ANYWHERE." + </p> + <p> + The meeting at Budapest was a great personal triumph for Mrs. Catt. No + one, I am sure, but the almost adored president of the International + Suffrage Alliance could have controlled a convention made up of women of + so many different nationalities, with so many different viewpoints, while + the confusion of languages made a general understanding seem almost + hopeless. But it was a great success in every way—and a delightful + feature of it was the hospitality of the city officials and, indeed, of + the whole Hungarian people. After the convention I spent a week with the + Contessa Iska Teleki in her chateau in the Tatra Mountains, and a + friendship was there formed which ever since has been a joy to me. + Together we walked miles over the mountains and along the banks of + wonderful streams, while the countess, who knows all the folk-lore of her + land, told me stories and answered my innumerable questions. When I left + for Vienna I took with me a basket of tiny fir-trees from the tops of the + Tatras; and after carrying the basket to and around Vienna, Florence, and + Genoa, I finally got the trees home in good condition and proudly added + them to the "Forest of Arden" on my place at Moylan. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0019" id="link2H_4_0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XVII. VALE! + </h2> + <p> + In looking back over the ten years of my administration as president of + the National American Woman Suffrage Association, there can be no feeling + but gratitude and elation over the growth of the work. Our membership has + grown from 17,000 women to more than 200,000, and the number of auxiliary + societies has increased in proportion. + </p> + <p> + Instead of the old-time experience of one campaign in ten years, we now + have from five to ten campaigns each year. From an original yearly + expenditure of $14,000 or $15,000 in our campaign work, we now expend from + $40,000 to $50,000. In New York, in 1915, we have already received pledges + of $150,000 for the New York State campaign alone, while Pennsylvania, + Massachusetts, and New Jersey have made pledges in proportion. + </p> + <p> + In 1906 full suffrage prevailed in four states; we now have it in twelve. + Our movement has advanced from its academic stage until it has become a + vital political factor; no reform in the country is more heralded by the + press or receives more attention from the public. It has become an issue + which engages the attention of the entire nation—and toward this + result every woman working for the Cause has contributed to an inspiring + degree. Splendid team-work, and that alone, has made our present success + possible and our eventual triumph in every state inevitable. Every officer + in our organization, every leader in our campaigns, every speaker, every + worker in the ranks, however humble, has done her share. + </p> + <p> + I do not claim anything so fantastic and Utopian as universal harmony + among us. We have had our troubles and our differences. I have had mine. + At every annual convention since the one at Washington in 1910 there has + been an effort to depose me from the presidency. There have been some + splendid fighters among my opponents—fine and high-minded women who + sincerely believe that at sixty-eight I am getting too old for my big job. + Possibly I am. Certainly I shall resign it with alacrity when the majority + of women in the organization wish me to do so. At present a large majority + proves annually that it still has faith in my leadership, and with this + assurance I am content to work on. + </p> + <p> + Looking back over the period covered by these reminiscences, I realize + that there is truth in the grave charge that I am no longer young; and + this truth was once voiced by one of my little nieces in a way that + brought it strongly home to me. She and her small sister of six had + declared themselves suffragettes, and as the first result of their + conversion to the Cause both had been laughed at by their schoolmates. The + younger child came home after this tragic experience, weeping bitterly and + declaring that she did not wish to be a suffragette any more—an + exhibition of apostasy for which her wise sister of eight took her roundly + to task. + </p> + <p> + "Aren't you ashamed of yourself," she demanded, "to stop just because you + have been laughed at once? Look at Aunt Anna! SHE has been laughed at for + hundreds of years!" + </p> + <p> + I sometimes feel that it has indeed been hundreds of years since my work + began; and then again it seems so brief a time that, by listening for a + moment, I fancy I can hear the echo of my childish-voice preaching to the + trees in the Michigan woods. + </p> + <p> + But long or short, the one sure thing is that, taking it all in all, the + struggles, the discouragements, the failures, and the little victories, + the fight has been, as Susan B. Anthony said in her last hours, "worth + while." Nothing bigger can come to a human being than to love a great + Cause more than life itself, and to have the privilege throughout life of + working for that Cause. + </p> + <p> + As for life's other gifts, I have had some of them, too. I have made many + friendships; I have looked upon the beauty of many lands; I have the + assurance of the respect and affection of thousands of men and women I + have never even met. Though I have given all I had, I have received a + thousand times more than I have given. Neither the world nor my Cause is + indebted to me but from the depths of a full and very grateful heart I + acknowledge my lasting indebtedness to them both. + </p> + <p> + THE END <br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Story of a Pioneer, by Anna Howard Shaw + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF A PIONEER *** + +***** This file should be named 354-h.htm or 354-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/354/ + +Produced by Mike Lough, and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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