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+ <head>
+ <title>
+ The Story of a Pioneer, by Anna Howard Shaw
+ </title>
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+
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+ .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;}
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+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Story of a Pioneer, by Anna Howard Shaw
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Story of a Pioneer
+ With The Collaboration Of Elizabeth Jordan
+
+Author: Anna Howard Shaw
+
+Release Date: July 11, 2008 [EBook #354]
+Last Updated: February 6, 2013
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF A PIONEER ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Mike Lough, and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /><br />
+ </p>
+ <h1>
+ THE STORY OF A PIONEER
+ </h1>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ By Anna Howard Shaw, D.D., M.D.
+ </h2>
+ <h3>
+ With The Collaboration Of Elizabeth Jordan
+ </h3>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <h3>
+ TO THE WOMEN PIONEERS OF AMERICA
+ </h3>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ They cut a path through tangled underwood
+ Of old traditions, out to broader ways.
+ They lived to here their work called brave and good,
+ But oh! the thorns before the crown of bays.
+ The world gives lashes to its Pioneers
+ Until the goal is reached&mdash;then deafening cheers.
+
+ Adapted by ANNA HOWARD SHAW.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <blockquote>
+ <h2>
+ Contents
+ </h2>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> <big><b>THE STORY OF A PIONEER</b></big> </a>
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <br />
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> I. FIRST MEMORIES </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> II. IN THE WILDERNESS </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> III. HIGH-SCHOOL AND COLLEGE DAYS </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> IV. THE WOLF AT THE DOOR </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> V. SHEPHERD OF A DIVIDED FLOCK </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VI. CAPE COD MEMORIES </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> VII. THE GREAT CAUSE </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> VIII. DRAMA IN THE LECTURE-FIELD </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> IX. "AUNT SUSAN" </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> X. THE PASSING OF "AUNT SUSAN" </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> XI. THE WIDENING SUFFRAGE STREAM </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> XII. BUILDING A HOME </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0015"> XIII. PRESIDENT OF "THE NATIONAL" </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0016"> XIV. RECENT CAMPAIGNS </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0017"> XV. CONVENTION INCIDENTS </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0018"> XVI. COUNCIL EPISODES </a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="toc">
+ <a href="#link2H_4_0019"> XVII. VALE! </a>
+ </p>
+ </blockquote>
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br />
+ </p>
+ <hr />
+ <p>
+ <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <h2>
+ THE STORY OF A PIONEER
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ I. FIRST MEMORIES
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ My father's ancestors were the Shaws of Rothiemurchus, in Scotland, and
+ the ruins of their castle may still be seen on the island of
+ Loch-an-Eilan, in the northern Highlands. It was never the picturesque
+ castle of song and story, this home of the fighting Shaws, but an austere
+ fortress, probably built in Roman times; and even to-day the crumbling
+ walls which alone are left of it show traces of the relentless assaults
+ upon them. Of these the last and the most successful were made in the
+ seventeenth century by the Grants and Rob Roy; and it was into the hands
+ of the Grants that the Shaw fortress finally fell, about 1700, after
+ almost a hundred years of ceaseless warfare.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It gives me no pleasure to read the grisly details of their struggles, but
+ I confess to a certain satisfaction in the knowledge that my ancestors
+ made a good showing in the defense of what was theirs. Beyond doubt they
+ were brave fighters and strong men. There were other sides to their
+ natures, however, which the high lights of history throw up less
+ appealingly. As an instance, we have in the family chronicles the
+ blood-stained page of Allen Shaw, the oldest son of the last Lady Shaw who
+ lived in the fortress. It appears that when the father of this young man
+ died, about 1560, his mother married again, to the intense disapproval of
+ her son. For some time after the marriage he made no open revolt against
+ the new-comer in the domestic circle; but finally, on the pretext that his
+ dog had been attacked by his stepfather, he forced a quarrel with the
+ older man and the two fought a duel with swords, after which the
+ victorious Allen showed a sad lack of chivalry. He not only killed his
+ stepfather, but he cut off that gentleman's head and bore it to his mother
+ in her bedchamber&mdash;an action which was considered, even in that
+ tolerant age, to be carrying filial resentment too far.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Probably Allen regretted it. Certainly he paid a high penalty for it, and
+ his clan suffered with him. He was outlawed and fled, only to be hunted
+ down for months, and finally captured and executed by one of the Grants,
+ who, in further virtuous disapproval of Allen's act, seized and held the
+ Shaw stronghold. The other Shaws of the clan fought long and ably for its
+ recovery, but though they were helped by their kinsmen, the Mackintoshes,
+ and though good Scotch blood dyed the gray walls of the fortress for many
+ generations, the castle never again came into the hands of the Shaws. It
+ still entails certain obligations for the Grants, however, and one of
+ these is to give the King of England a snowball whenever he visits
+ Loch-an-Eilan!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As the years passed the Shaw clan scattered. Many Shaws are still to be
+ found in the Mackintosh country and throughout southern Scotland. Others
+ went to England, and it was from this latter branch that my father sprang.
+ His name was Thomas Shaw, and he was the younger son of a gentleman&mdash;a
+ word which in those days seemed to define a man who devoted his time
+ largely to gambling and horse-racing. My grandfather, like his father
+ before him, was true to the traditions of his time and class. Quite
+ naturally and simply he squandered all he had, and died abruptly, leaving
+ his wife and two sons penniless. They were not, however, a helpless band.
+ They, too, had their traditions, handed down by the fighting Shaws. Peter,
+ the older son, became a soldier, and died bravely in the Crimean War. My
+ father, through some outside influence, turned his attention to trade,
+ learning to stain and emboss wallpaper by hand, and developing this work
+ until he became the recognized expert in his field. Indeed, he progressed
+ until he himself checked his rise by inventing a machine that made his
+ handwork unnecessary. His employer at once claimed and utilized this
+ invention, to which, by the laws of those days, he was entitled, and thus
+ the cornerstone on which my father had expected to build a fortune proved
+ the rock on which his career was wrecked. But that was years later, in
+ America, and many other things had happened first.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For one, he had temporarily dropped his trade and gone into the
+ flour-and-grain business; and, for another, he had married my mother. She
+ was the daughter of a Scotch couple who had come to England and settled in
+ Alnwick, in Northumberland County. Her father, James Stott, was the driver
+ of the royal-mail stage between Alnwick and Newcastle, and his accidental
+ death while he was still a young man left my grandmother and her eight
+ children almost destitute. She was immediately given a position in the
+ castle of the Duke of Northumberland, and her sons were educated in the
+ duke's school, while her daughters were entered in the school of the
+ duchess.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My thoughts dwell lovingly on this grandmother, Nicolas Grant Stott, for
+ she was a remarkable woman, with a dauntless soul and progressive ideas
+ far in advance of her time. She was one of the first Unitarians in
+ England, and years before any thought of woman suffrage entered the minds
+ of her country-women she refused to pay tithes to the support of the
+ Church of England&mdash;an action which precipitated a long-drawn-out
+ conflict between her and the law. In those days it was customary to assess
+ tithes on every pane of glass in a window, and a portion of the money thus
+ collected went to the support of the Church. Year after year my intrepid
+ grandmother refused to pay these assessments, and year after year she sat
+ pensively upon her door-step, watching articles of her furniture being
+ sold for money to pay her tithes. It must have been an impressive picture,
+ and it was one with which the community became thoroughly familiar, as the
+ determined old lady never won her fight and never abandoned it. She had at
+ least the comfort of public sympathy, for she was by far the most popular
+ woman in the countryside. Her neighbors admired her courage; perhaps they
+ appreciated still more what she did for them, for she spent all her
+ leisure in the homes of the very poor, mending their clothing and teaching
+ them to sew. Also, she left behind her a path of cleanliness as definite
+ as the line of foam that follows a ship; for it soon became known among
+ her protegees that Nicolas Stott was as much opposed to dirt as she was to
+ the payment of tithes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She kept her children in the schools of the duke and duchess until they
+ had completed the entire course open to them. A hundred times, and among
+ many new scenes and strange people, I have heard my mother describe her
+ own experiences as a pupil. All the children of the dependents of the
+ castle were expected to leave school at fourteen years of age. During
+ their course they were not allowed to study geography, because, in the
+ sage opinion of their elders, knowledge of foreign lands might make them
+ discontented and inclined to wander. Neither was composition encouraged&mdash;that
+ might lead to the writing of love-notes! But they were permitted to absorb
+ all the reading and arithmetic their little brains could hold, while the
+ art of sewing was not only encouraged, but proficiency in it was
+ stimulated by the award of prizes. My mother, being a rather precocious
+ young person, graduated at thirteen and carried off the first prize. The
+ garment she made was a linen chemise for the duchess, and the little
+ needlewoman had embroidered on it, with her own hair, the august lady's
+ coat of arms. The offering must have been appreciated, for my mother's
+ story always ended with the same words, uttered with the same air of
+ gentle pride, "And the duchess gave me with her own hands my Bible and my
+ mug of beer!" She never saw anything amusing in this association of gifts,
+ and I always stood behind her when she told the incident, that she might
+ not see the disrespectful mirth it aroused in me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My father and mother met in Alnwick, and were married in February, 1835.
+ Ten years after his marriage father was forced into bankruptcy by the
+ passage of the corn law, and to meet the obligations attending his failure
+ he and my mother sold practically everything they possessed&mdash;their
+ home, even their furniture. Their little sons, who were away at school,
+ were brought home, and the family expenses were cut down to the barest
+ margin; but all these sacrifices paid only part of the debts. My mother,
+ finding that her early gift had a market value, took in sewing. Father
+ went to work on a small salary, and both my parents saved every penny they
+ could lay aside, with the desperate determination to pay their remaining
+ debts. It was a long struggle and a painful one, but they finally won it.
+ Before they had done so, however, and during their bleakest days, their
+ baby died, and my mother, like her mother before her, paid the penalty of
+ being outside the fold of the Church of England. She, too, was a
+ Unitarian, and her baby, therefore, could not be laid in any consecrated
+ burial-ground in her neighborhood. She had either to bury it in the
+ Potter's Field, with criminals, suicides, and paupers, or to take it by
+ stage-coach to Alnwick, twenty miles away, and leave it in the little
+ Unitarian churchyard where, after her strenuous life, Nicolas Stott now
+ lay in peace. She made the dreary journey alone, with the dear burden
+ across her lap.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1846, my parents went to London. There they did not linger long, for
+ the big, indifferent city had nothing to offer them. They moved to
+ Newcastle-on-Tyne, and here I was born, on the fourteenth day of February,
+ in 1847. Three boys and two girls had preceded me in the family circle,
+ and when I was two years old my younger sister came. We were little better
+ off in Newcastle than in London, and now my father began to dream the
+ great dream of those days. He would go to America. Surely, he felt, in
+ that land of infinite promise all would be well with him and his. He
+ waited for the final payment of his debts and for my younger sister's
+ birth. Then he bade us good-by and sailed away to make an American home
+ for us; and in the spring of 1851 my mother followed him with her six
+ children, starting from Liverpool in a sailing-vessel, the John Jacob
+ Westervelt.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was then little more than four years old, and the first vivid memory I
+ have is that of being on shipboard and having a mighty wave roll over me.
+ I was lying on what seemed to be an enormous red box under a hatchway, and
+ the water poured from above, almost drowning me. This was the beginning of
+ a storm which raged for days, and I still have of it a confused memory, a
+ sort of nightmare, in which strange horrors figure, and which to this day
+ haunts me at intervals when I am on the sea. The thing that stands out
+ most strongly during that period is the white face of my mother, ill in
+ her berth. We were with five hundred emigrants on the lowest deck of the
+ ship but one, and as the storm grew wilder an unreasoning terror filled
+ our fellow-passengers. Too ill to protect her helpless brood, my mother
+ saw us carried away from her for hours at a time, on the crests of waves
+ of panic that sometimes approached her and sometimes receded, as they
+ swept through the black hole in which we found ourselves when the hatches
+ were nailed down. No madhouse, I am sure, could throw more hideous
+ pictures on the screen of life than those which met our childish eyes
+ during the appalling three days of the storm. Our one comfort was the
+ knowledge that our mother was not afraid. She was desperately ill, but
+ when we were able to reach her, to cling close to her for a blessed
+ interval, she was still the sure refuge she had always been.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the second day the masts went down, and on the third day the disabled
+ ship, which now had sprung a leak and was rolling helplessly in the trough
+ of the sea, was rescued by another ship and towed back to Queenstown, the
+ nearest port. The passengers, relieved of their anxieties, went from their
+ extreme of fear to an equal extreme of drunken celebration. They laughed,
+ sang, and danced, but when we reached the shore many of them returned to
+ the homes they had left, declaring that they had had enough of the ocean.
+ We, however, remained on the ship until she was repaired, and then sailed
+ on her again. We were too poor to return home; indeed, we had no home to
+ which we could return. We were even too poor to live ashore. But we made
+ some penny excursions in the little boats that plied back and forth, and
+ to us children at least the weeks of waiting were not without interest.
+ Among other places we visited Spike Island, where the convicts were, and
+ for hours we watched the dreary shuttle of labor swing back and forth as
+ the convicts carried pails of water from one side of the island, only to
+ empty them into the sea at the other side. It was merely "busy work," to
+ keep them occupied at hard labor; but even then I must have felt some dim
+ sense of the irony of it, for I have remembered it vividly all these
+ years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our second voyage on the John Jacob Westervelt was a very different
+ experience from the first. By day a glorious sun shone overhead; by night
+ we had the moon and stars, as well as the racing waves we never wearied of
+ watching. For some reason, probably because of my intense admiration for
+ them, which I showed with unmaidenly frankness, I became the special pet
+ of the sailors. They taught me to sing their songs as they hauled on their
+ ropes, and I recall, as if I had learned it yesterday, one pleasing ditty:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Haul on the bow-line,
+ Kitty is my darling,
+ Haul on the bow-line,
+ The bow-line&mdash;HAUL!
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ When I sang "haul" all the sailors pulled their hardest, and I had an
+ exhilarating sense of sharing in their labors. As a return for my service
+ of song the men kept my little apron full of ship sugar&mdash;very black
+ stuff and probably very bad for me; but I ate an astonishing amount of it
+ during that voyage, and, so far as I remember, felt no ill effects.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next thing I recall is being seriously scalded. I was at the foot of a
+ ladder up which a sailor was carrying a great pot of hot coffee. He
+ slipped, and the boiling liquid poured down on me. I must have had some
+ bad days after that, for I was terribly burned, but they are mercifully
+ vague. My next vivid impression is of seeing land, which we sighted at
+ sunset, and I remember very distinctly just how it looked. It has never
+ looked the same since. The western sky was a mass of crimson and gold
+ clouds, which took on the shapes of strange and beautiful things. To me it
+ seemed that we were entering heaven. I remember also the doctors coming on
+ board to examine us, and I can still see a line of big Irishmen standing
+ very straight and holding out their tongues for inspection. To a little
+ girl only four years old their huge, open mouths looked appalling.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On landing a grievous disappointment awaited us; my father did not meet
+ us. He was in New Bedford, Massachusetts, nursing his grief and preparing
+ to return to England, for he had been told that the John Jacob Westervelt
+ had been lost at sea with every soul on board. One of the missionaries who
+ met the ship took us under his wing and conducted us to a little hotel,
+ where we remained until father had received his incredible news and rushed
+ to New York. He could hardly believe that we were really restored to him;
+ and even now, through the mists of more than half a century, I can still
+ see the expression in his wet eyes as he picked me up and tossed me into
+ the air.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I can see, too, the toys he brought me&mdash;a little saw and a hatchet,
+ which became the dearest treasures of my childish days. They were
+ fatidical gifts, that saw and hatchet; in the years ahead of me I was to
+ use tools as well as my brothers did, as I proved when I helped to build
+ our frontier home.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We went to New Bedford with father, who had found work there at his old
+ trade; and here I laid the foundations of my first childhood friendship,
+ not with another child, but with my next-door neighbor, a ship-builder.
+ Morning after morning this man swung me on his big shoulder and took me to
+ his shipyard, where my hatchet and saw had violent exercise as I imitated
+ the workers around me. Discovering that my tiny petticoats were in my way,
+ my new friend had a little boy's suit made for me; and thus emancipated,
+ at this tender age, I worked unwearyingly at his side all day long and day
+ after day. No doubt it was due to him that I did not casually saw off a
+ few of my toes and fingers. Certainly I smashed them often enough with
+ blows of my dull but active hatchet. I was very, very busy; and I have
+ always maintained that I began to earn my share of the family's living at
+ the age of five&mdash;for in return for the delights of my society, which
+ seemed never to pall upon him, my new friend allowed my brothers to carry
+ home from the shipyard all the wood my mother could use.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We remained in New Bedford less than a year, for in the spring of 1852 my
+ father made another change, taking his family to Lawrence, Massachusetts,
+ where we lived until 1859. The years in Lawrence were interesting and
+ formative ones. At the tender age of nine and ten I became interested in
+ the Abolition movement. We were Unitarians, and General Oliver and many of
+ the prominent citizens of Lawrence belonged to the Unitarian Church. We
+ knew Robert Shaw, who led the first negro regiment, and Judge Storrow, one
+ of the leading New England judges of his time, as well as the Cabots and
+ George A. Walton, who was the author of Walton's Arithmetic and head of
+ the Lawrence schools. Outbursts of war talk thrilled me, and occasionally
+ I had a little adventure of my own, as when one day, in visiting our
+ cellar, I heard a noise in the coal-bin. I investigated and discovered a
+ negro woman concealed there. I had been reading Uncle Tom's Cabin, as well
+ as listening to the conversation of my elders, so I was vastly stirred
+ over the negro question. I raced up-stairs in a condition of awe-struck
+ and quivering excitement, which my mother promptly suppressed by sending
+ me to bed. No doubt she questioned my youthful discretion, for she almost
+ convinced me that I had seen nothing at all&mdash;almost, but not quite;
+ and she wisely kept me close to her for several days, until the escaped
+ slave my father was hiding was safely out of the house and away. Discovery
+ of this serious offense might have borne grave results for him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was in Lawrence, too, that I received and spent my first twenty-five
+ cents. I used an entire day in doing this, and the occasion was one of the
+ most delightful and memorable of my life. It was the Fourth of July, and I
+ was dressed in white and rode in a procession. My sister Mary, who also
+ graced the procession, had also been given twenty-five cents; and during
+ the parade, when, for obvious reasons, we were unable to break ranks and
+ spend our wealth, the consciousness of it lay heavily upon us. When we
+ finally began our shopping the first place we visited was a candy store,
+ and I recall distinctly that we forced the weary proprietor to take down
+ and show us every jar in the place before we spent one penny. The first
+ banana I ever ate was purchased that day, and I hesitated over it a long
+ time. Its cost was five cents, and in view of that large expenditure, the
+ eating of the fruit, I was afraid, would be too brief a joy. I bought it,
+ however, and the experience developed into a tragedy, for, not knowing
+ enough to peel the banana, I bit through skin and pulp alike, as if I were
+ eating an apple, and then burst into ears of disappointment. The beautiful
+ conduct of my sister Mary shines down through the years. She, wise child,
+ had taken no chances with the unknown; but now, moved by my despair, she
+ bought half of my banana, and we divided the fruit, the loss, and the
+ lesson. Fate, moreover, had another turn of the screw for us, for, after
+ Mary had taken a bite of it, we gave what was left of the banana to a boy
+ who stood near us and who knew how to eat it; and not even the large
+ amount of candy in our sticky hands enabled us to regard with calmness the
+ subsequent happiness of that little boy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another experience with fruit in Lawrence illustrates the ideas of my
+ mother and the character of the training she gave her children. Our
+ neighbors, the Cabots, were one day giving a great garden party, and my
+ sister was helping to pick strawberries for the occasion. When I was going
+ home from school I passed the berry-patches and stopped to speak to my
+ sister, who at once presented me with two strawberries. She said Mrs.
+ Cabot had told her to eat all she wanted, but that she would eat two less
+ than she wanted and give those two to me. To my mind, the suggestion was
+ generous and proper; in my life strawberries were rare. I ate one berry,
+ and then, overcome by an ambition to be generous also, took the other
+ berry home to my mother, telling her how I had got it. To my chagrin,
+ mother was deeply shocked. She told me that the transaction was all wrong,
+ and she made me take back the berry and explain the matter to Mrs. Cabot.
+ By the time I reached that generous lady the berry was the worse for its
+ journey, and so was I. I was only nine years old and very sensitive. It
+ was clear to me that I could hardly live through the humiliation of the
+ confession, and it was indeed a bitter experience the worst, I think, in
+ my young life, though Mrs. Cabot was both sympathetic and understanding.
+ She kissed me, and sent a quart of strawberries to my mother; but for a
+ long time afterward I could not meet her kind eyes, for I believed that in
+ her heart she thought me a thief.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My second friendship, and one which had a strong influence on my
+ after-life, was formed in Lawrence. I was not more than ten years old when
+ I met this new friend, but the memory of her in after-years, and the
+ impression she had made on my susceptible young mind, led me first into
+ the ministry, next into medicine, and finally into suffrage-work. Living
+ next door to us, on Prospect Hill, was a beautiful and mysterious woman.
+ All we children knew of her was that she was a vivid and romantic figure,
+ who seemed to have no friends and of whom our elders spoke in whispers or
+ not at all. To me she was a princess in a fairy-tale, for she rode a white
+ horse and wore a blue velvet riding-habit with a blue velvet hat and a
+ picturesquely drooping white plume. I soon learned at what hours she went
+ forth to ride, and I used to hover around our gate for the joy of seeing
+ her mount and gallop away. I realized that there was something unusual
+ about her house, and I had an idea that the prince was waiting for her
+ somewhere in the far distance, and that for the time at least she had
+ escaped the ogre in the castle she left behind. I was wrong about the
+ prince, but right about the ogre. It was only when my unhappy lady left
+ her castle that she was free.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Very soon she noticed me. Possibly she saw the adoration in my childish
+ eyes. She began to nod and smile at me, and then to speak to me, but at
+ first I was almost afraid to answer her. There were stories now among the
+ children that the house was haunted, and that by night a ghost walked
+ there and in the grounds. I felt an extraordinary interest in the ghost,
+ and I spent hours peering through our picket fence, trying to catch a
+ glimpse of it; but I hesitated to be on terms of neighborly intimacy with
+ one who dwelt with ghosts.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One day the mysterious lady bent and kissed me. Then, straightening up,
+ she looked at me queerly and said: "Go and tell your mother I did that."
+ There was something very compelling in her manner. I knew at once that I
+ must tell my mother what she had done, and I ran into our house and did
+ so. While my mother was considering the problem the situation presented,
+ for she knew the character of the house next door, a note was handed in to
+ her&mdash;a very pathetic little note from my mysterious lady, asking my
+ mother to let me come and see her. Long afterward mother showed it to me.
+ It ended with the words: "She will see no one but me. No harm shall come
+ to her. Trust me."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That night my parents talked the matter over and decided to let me go.
+ Probably they felt that the slave next door was as much to be pitied as
+ the escaped-negro slaves they so often harbored in our home. I made my
+ visit, which was the first of many, and a strange friendship began and
+ developed between the woman of the town and the little girl she loved.
+ Some of those visits I remember as vividly as if I had made them
+ yesterday. There was never the slightest suggestion during any of them of
+ things I should not see or hear, for while I was with her my hostess
+ became a child again, and we played together like children. She had
+ wonderful toys for me, and pictures and books; but the thing I loved best
+ of all and played with for hours was a little stuffed hen which she told
+ me had been her dearest treasure when she was a child at home. She had
+ also a stuffed puppy, and she once mentioned that those two things alone
+ were left of her life as a little girl. Besides the toys and books and
+ pictures, she gave me ice-cream and cake, and told me fairy-tales. She had
+ a wonderful understanding of what a child likes. There were half a dozen
+ women in the house with her, but I saw none of them nor any of the men who
+ came.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Once, when we had become very good friends indeed and my early shyness had
+ departed, I found courage to ask her where the ghost was&mdash;the ghost
+ that haunted her house. I can still see the look in her eyes as they met
+ mine. She told me the ghost lived in her heart, and that she did not like
+ to talk about it, and that we must not speak of it again. After that I
+ never mentioned it, but I was more deeply interested than ever, for a
+ ghost that lived in a heart was a new kind of ghost to me at that time,
+ though I have met many of them since then. During all our intercourse my
+ mother never entered the house next door, nor did my mysterious lady enter
+ our home; but she constantly sent my mother secret gifts for the poor and
+ the sick of the neighborhood, and she was always the first to offer help
+ for those who were in trouble. Many years afterward mother told me she was
+ the most generous woman she had ever known, and that she had a rarely
+ beautiful nature. Our departure for Michigan broke up the friendship, but
+ I have never forgotten her; and whenever, in my later work as minister,
+ physician, and suffragist, I have been able to help women of the class to
+ which she belonged, I have mentally offered that help for credit in the
+ tragic ledger of her life, in which the clean and the blotted pages were
+ so strange a contrast.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One more incident of Lawrence I must describe before I leave that city
+ behind me, as we left it for ever in 1859. While we were still there a
+ number of Lawrence men decided to go West, and amid great public
+ excitement they departed in a body for Kansas, where they founded the town
+ of Lawrence in that state. I recall distinctly the public interest which
+ attended their going, and the feeling every one seemed to have that they
+ were passing forever out of the civilized world. Their farewells to their
+ friends were eternal; no one expected to see them again, and my small
+ brain grew dizzy as I tried to imagine a place so remote as their
+ destination. It was, I finally decided, at the uttermost ends of the
+ earth, and it seemed quite possible that the brave adventurers who reached
+ it might then drop off into space. Fifty years later I was talking to a
+ California girl who complained lightly of the monotony of a climate where
+ the sun shone and the flowers bloomed all the year around. "But I had a
+ delightful change last year," she added, with animation. "I went East for
+ the winter."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "To New York?" I asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," corrected the California girl, easily, "to Lawrence, Kansas."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nothing, I think, has ever made me feel quite so old as that remark. That
+ in my life, not yet, to me at least, a long one, I should see such an arc
+ described seemed actually oppressive until I realized that, after all, the
+ arc was merely a rainbow of time showing how gloriously realized were the
+ hopes of the Lawrence pioneers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The move to Michigan meant a complete upheaval in our lives. In Lawrence
+ we had around us the fine flower of New England civilization. We children
+ went to school; our parents, though they were in very humble
+ circumstances, were associated with the leading spirits and the big
+ movements of the day. When we went to Michigan we went to the wilderness,
+ to the wild pioneer life of those times, and we were all old enough to
+ keenly feel the change.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My father was one of a number of Englishmen who took up tracts in the
+ northern forests of Michigan, with the old dream of establishing a colony
+ there. None of these men had the least practical knowledge of farming.
+ They were city men or followers of trades which had no connection with
+ farm life. They went straight into the thick timber-land, instead of going
+ to the rich and waiting prairies, and they crowned this initial mistake by
+ cutting down the splendid timber instead of letting it stand. Thus
+ bird's-eye maple and other beautiful woods were used as fire-wood and in
+ the construction of rude cabins, and the greatest asset of the pioneers
+ was ignored.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Father preceded us to the Michigan woods, and there, with his oldest son,
+ James, took up a claim. They cleared a space in the wilderness just large
+ enough for a log cabin, and put up the bare walls of the cabin itself.
+ Then father returned to Lawrence and his work, leaving James behind. A few
+ months later (this was in 1859), my mother, my two sisters, Eleanor and
+ Mary, my youngest brother, Henry, eight years of age, and I, then twelve,
+ went to Michigan to work on and hold down the claim while father, for
+ eighteen months longer, stayed on in Lawrence, sending us such remittances
+ as he could. His second and third sons, John and Thomas, remained in the
+ East with him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Every detail of our journey through the wilderness is clear in my mind. At
+ that time the railroad terminated at Grand Rapids, Michigan, and we
+ covered the remaining distance&mdash;about one hundred miles&mdash;by
+ wagon, riding through a dense and often trackless forest. My brother James
+ met us at Grand Rapids with what, in those days, was called a
+ lumber-wagon, but which had a horrible resemblance to a vehicle from the
+ health department. My sisters and I gave it one cold look and turned from
+ it; we were so pained by its appearance that we refused to ride in it
+ through the town. Instead, we started off on foot, trying to look as if we
+ had no association with it, and we climbed into the unwieldy vehicle only
+ when the city streets were far behind us. Every available inch of space in
+ the wagon was filled with bedding and provisions. As yet we had no
+ furniture; we were to make that for ourselves when we reached our cabin;
+ and there was so little room for us to ride that we children walked by
+ turns, while James, from the beginning of the journey to its end, seven
+ days later, led our weary horses.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To my mother, who was never strong, the whole experience must have been a
+ nightmare of suffering and stoical endurance. For us children there were
+ compensations. The expedition took on the character of a high adventure,
+ in which we sometimes had shelter and sometimes failed to find it,
+ sometimes were fed, but often went hungry. We forded innumerable streams,
+ the wheels of the heavy wagon sinking so deeply into the stream-beds that
+ we often had to empty our load before we could get them out again. Fallen
+ trees lay across our paths, rivers caused long detours, while again and
+ again we lost our way or were turned aside by impenetrable forest tangles.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our first day's journey covered less than eight miles, and that night we
+ stopped at a farm-house which was the last bit of civilization we saw.
+ Early the next morning we were off again, making the slow progress due to
+ the rough roads and our heavy load. At night we stopped at a place called
+ Thomas's Inn, only to be told by the woman who kept it that there was
+ nothing in the house to eat. Her husband, she said, had gone "outside" (to
+ Grand Rapids) to get some flour, and had not returned&mdash;but she added
+ that we could spend the night, if we chose, and enjoy shelter, if not
+ food. We had provisions in our wagon, so we wearily entered, after my
+ brother had got out some of our pork and opened a barrel of flour. With
+ this help the woman made some biscuits, which were so green that my poor
+ mother could not eat them. She had admitted to us that the one thing she
+ had in the house was saleratus, and she had used this ingredient with an
+ unsparing hand. When the meal was eaten she broke the further news that
+ there were no beds.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The old woman can sleep with me," she suggested, "and the girls can sleep
+ on the floor. The boys will have to go to the barn." She and her bed were
+ not especially attractive, and mother decided to lie on the floor with us.
+ We had taken our bedding from the wagon, and we slept very well; but
+ though she was usually superior to small annoyances, I think my mother
+ resented being called an "old woman." She must have felt like one that
+ night, but she was only about forty-eight years of age.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At dawn the next morning we resumed our journey, and every day after that
+ we were able to cover the distance demanded by the schedule arranged
+ before we started. This meant that some sort of shelter usually awaited us
+ at night. But one day we knew there would be no houses between the place
+ we left in the morning and that where we were to sleep. The distance was
+ about twenty miles, and when twilight fell we had not made it. In the back
+ of the wagon my mother had a box of little pigs, and during the afternoon
+ these had broken loose and escaped into the woods. We had lost much time
+ in finding them, and we were so exhausted that when we came to a hut made
+ of twigs and boughs we decided to camp in it for the night, though we knew
+ nothing about it. My brother had unharnessed the horses, and my mother and
+ sister were cooking dough-god&mdash;a mixture of flour, water, and soda,
+ fried in a pan-when two men rode up on horseback and called my brother to
+ one side. Immediately after the talk which followed James harnessed his
+ horses again and forced us to go on, though by that time darkness had
+ fallen. He told mother, but did not tell us children until long afterward,
+ that a man had been murdered in the hut only the night before. The
+ murderer was still at large in the woods, and the new-comers were members
+ of a posse who were searching for him. My brother needed no urging to put
+ as many miles as he could between us and the sinister spot.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In that fashion we made our way to our new home. The last day, like the
+ first, we traveled only eight miles, but we spent the night in a house I
+ shall never forget. It was beautifully clean, and for our evening meal its
+ mistress brought out loaves of bread which were the largest we had ever
+ seen. She cut great slices of this bread for us and spread maple sugar on
+ them, and it seemed to us that never before had anything tasted so good.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next morning we made the last stage of our journey, our hearts filled
+ with the joy of nearing our new home. We all had an idea that we were
+ going to a farm, and we expected some resemblance at least to the
+ prosperous farms we had seen in New England. My mother's mental picture
+ was, naturally, of an English farm. Possibly she had visions of red barns
+ and deep meadows, sunny skies and daisies. What we found awaiting us were
+ the four walls and the roof of a good-sized log-house, standing in a small
+ cleared strip of the wilderness, its doors and windows represented by
+ square holes, its floor also a thing of the future, its whole effect
+ achingly forlorn and desolate. It was late in the afternoon when we drove
+ up to the opening that was its front entrance, and I shall never forget
+ the look my mother turned upon the place. Without a word she crossed its
+ threshold, and, standing very still, looked slowly around her. Then
+ something within her seemed to give way, and she sank upon the ground. She
+ could not realize even then, I think, that this was really the place
+ father had prepared for us, that here he expected us to live. When she
+ finally took it in she buried her face in her hands, and in that way she
+ sat for hours without moving or speaking. For the first time in her life
+ she had forgotten us; and we, for our part, dared not speak to her. We
+ stood around her in a frightened group, talking to one another in
+ whispers. Our little world had crumbled under our feet. Never before had
+ we seen our mother give way to despair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Night began to fall. The woods became alive with night creatures, and the
+ most harmless made the most noise. The owls began to hoot, and soon we
+ heard the wildcat, whose cry&mdash;a screech like that of a lost and
+ panic-stricken child&mdash;is one of the most appalling sounds of the
+ forest. Later the wolves added their howls to the uproar, but though
+ darkness came and we children whimpered around her, our mother still sat
+ in her strange lethargy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At last my brother brought the horses close to the cabin and built fires
+ to protect them and us. He was only twenty, but he showed himself a man
+ during those early pioneer days. While he was picketing the horses and
+ building his protecting fires my mother came to herself, but her face when
+ she raised it was worse than her silence had been. She seemed to have died
+ and to have returned to us from the grave, and I am sure she felt that she
+ had done so. From that moment she took up again the burden of her life, a
+ burden she did not lay down until she passed away; but her face never lost
+ the deep lines those first hours of her pioneer life had cut upon it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That night we slept on boughs spread on the earth inside the cabin walls,
+ and we put blankets before the holes which represented our doors and
+ windows, and kept our watch-fires burning. Soon the other children fell
+ asleep, but there was no sleep for me. I was only twelve years old, but my
+ mind was full of fancies. Behind our blankets, swaying in the night wind,
+ I thought I saw the heads and pushing shoulders of animals and heard their
+ padded footfalls. Later years brought familiarity with wild things, and
+ with worse things than they. But to-night that which I most feared was
+ within, not outside of, the cabin. In some way which I did not understand
+ the one sure refuge in our new world had been taken from us. I hardly knew
+ the silent woman who lay near me, tossing from side to side and staring
+ into the darkness; I felt that we had lost our mother.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ II. IN THE WILDERNESS
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ Like most men, my dear father should never have married. Though his nature
+ was one of the sweetest I have ever known, and though he would at any call
+ give his time to or risk his life for others, in practical matters he
+ remained to the end of his days as irresponsible as a child. If his mind
+ turned to practical details at all, it was solely in their bearing toward
+ great developments of the future. To him an acorn was not an acorn, but a
+ forest of young oaks.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Thus, when he took up his claim of three hundred and sixty acres of land
+ in the wilderness of northern Michigan, and sent my mother and five young
+ children to live there alone until he could join us eighteen months later,
+ he gave no thought to the manner in which we were to make the struggle and
+ survive the hardships before us. He had furnished us with land and the
+ four walls of a log cabin. Some day, he reasoned, the place would be a
+ fine estate, which his sons would inherit and in the course of time pass
+ on to their sons&mdash;always an Englishman's most iridescent dream. That
+ for the present we were one hundred miles from a railroad, forty miles
+ from the nearest post-office, and half a dozen miles from any neighbors
+ save Indians, wolves, and wildcats; that we were wholly unlearned in the
+ ways of the woods as well as in the most primitive methods of farming;
+ that we lacked not only every comfort, but even the bare necessities of
+ life; and that we must begin, single-handed and untaught, a struggle for
+ existence in which some of the severest forces of nature would be arrayed
+ against us&mdash;these facts had no weight in my father's mind. Even if he
+ had witnessed my mother's despair on the night of our arrival in our new
+ home, he would not have understood it. From his viewpoint, he was doing a
+ man's duty. He was working steadily in Lawrence, and, incidentally, giving
+ much time to the Abolition cause and to other big public movements of his
+ day which had his interest and sympathy. He wrote to us regularly and sent
+ us occasional remittances, as well as a generous supply of improving
+ literature for our minds. It remained for us to strengthen our bodies, to
+ meet the conditions in which he had placed us, and to survive if we could.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We faced our situation with clear and unalarmed eyes the morning after our
+ arrival. The problem of food, we knew, was at least temporarily solved. We
+ had brought with us enough coffee, pork, and flour to last for several
+ weeks; and the one necessity father had put inside the cabin walls was a
+ great fireplace, made of mud and stones, in which our food could be
+ cooked. The problem of our water-supply was less simple, but my brother
+ James solved it for the time by showing us a creek a long distance from
+ the house; and for months we carried from this creek, in pails, every drop
+ of water we used, save that which we caught in troughs when the rain fell.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We held a family council after breakfast, and in this, though I was only
+ twelve, I took an eager and determined part. I loved work&mdash;it has
+ always been my favorite form of recreation&mdash;and my spirit rose to the
+ opportunities of it which smiled on us from every side. Obviously the
+ first thing to do was to put doors and windows into the yawning holes
+ father had left for them, and to lay a board flooring over the earth
+ inside our cabin walls, and these duties we accomplished before we had
+ occupied our new home a fortnight. There was a small saw-mill nine miles
+ from our cabin, on the spot that is now Big Rapids, and there we bought
+ our lumber. The labor we supplied ourselves, and though we put our hearts
+ into it and the results at the time seemed beautiful to our partial eyes,
+ I am forced to admit, in looking back upon them, that they halted this
+ side of perfection. We began by making three windows and two doors; then,
+ inspired by these achievements, we ambitiously constructed an attic and
+ divided the ground floor with partitions, which gave us four rooms.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The general effect was temperamental and sketchy. The boards which formed
+ the floor were never even nailed down; they were fine, wide planks without
+ a knot in them, and they looked so well that we merely fitted them
+ together as closely as we could and lightheartedly let them go at that.
+ Neither did we properly chink the house. Nothing is more comfortable than
+ a log cabin which has been carefully built and finished; but for some
+ reason&mdash;probably because there seemed always a more urgent duty
+ calling to us around the corner&mdash;we never plastered our house at all.
+ The result was that on many future winter mornings we awoke to find
+ ourselves chastely blanketed by snow, while the only warm spot in our
+ living-room was that directly in front of the fireplace, where great logs
+ burned all day. Even there our faces scorched while our spines slowly
+ congealed, until we learned to revolve before the fire like a bird upon a
+ spit. No doubt we would have worked more thoroughly if my brother James,
+ who was twenty years old and our tower of strength, had remained with us;
+ but when we had been in our new home only a few months he fell and was
+ forced to go East for an operation. He was never able to return to us, and
+ thus my mother, we three young girls, and my youngest brother&mdash;Harry,
+ who was only eight years old&mdash;made our fight alone until father came
+ to us, more than a year later.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mother was practically an invalid. She had a nervous affection which made
+ it impossible for her to stand without the support of a chair. But she
+ sewed with unusual skill, and it was due to her that our clothes,
+ notwithstanding the strain to which we subjected them, were always in good
+ condition. She sewed for hours every day, and she was able to move about
+ the house, after a fashion, by pushing herself around on a stool which
+ James made for her as soon as we arrived. He also built for her a more
+ comfortable chair with a high back.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The division of labor planned at the first council was that mother should
+ do our sewing, and my older sisters, Eleanor and Mary, the housework,
+ which was far from taxing, for of course we lived in the simplest manner.
+ My brothers and I were to do the work out of doors, an arrangement that
+ suited me very well, though at first, owing to our lack of experience, our
+ activities were somewhat curtailed. It was too late in the season for
+ plowing or planting, even if we had possessed anything with which to plow,
+ and, moreover, our so-called "cleared" land was thick with sturdy
+ tree-stumps. Even during the second summer plowing was impossible; we
+ could only plant potatoes and corn, and follow the most primitive method
+ in doing even this. We took an ax, chopped up the sod, put the seed under
+ it, and let the seed grow. The seed did grow, too&mdash;in the most
+ gratifying and encouraging manner. Our green corn and potatoes were the
+ best I have ever eaten. But for the present we lacked these luxuries.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We had, however, in their place, large quantities of wild fruit&mdash;gooseberries,
+ raspberries, and plums&mdash;which Harry and I gathered on the banks of
+ our creek. Harry also became an expert fisherman. We had no hooks or
+ lines, but he took wires from our hoop-skirts and made snares at the ends
+ of poles. My part of this work was to stand on a log and frighten the fish
+ out of their holes by making horrible sounds, which I did with impassioned
+ earnestness. When the fish hurried to the surface of the water to
+ investigate the appalling noises they had heard, they were easily snared
+ by our small boy, who was very proud of his ability to contribute in this
+ way to the family table.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During our first winter we lived largely on cornmeal, making a little
+ journey of twenty miles to the nearest mill to buy it; but even at that we
+ were better off than our neighbors, for I remember one family in our
+ region who for an entire winter lived solely on coarse-grained yellow
+ turnips, gratefully changing their diet to leeks when these came in the
+ spring.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Such furniture as we had we made ourselves. In addition to my mother's two
+ chairs and the bunks which took the place of beds, James made a settle for
+ the living-room, as well as a table and several stools. At first we had
+ our tree-cutting done for us, but we soon became expert in this gentle
+ art, and I developed such skill that in later years, after father came, I
+ used to stand with him and "heart" a log.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On every side, and at every hour of the day, we came up against the
+ relentless limitations of pioneer life. There was not a team of horses in
+ our entire region. The team with which my brother had driven us through
+ the wilderness had been hired at Grand Rapids for that occasion, and, of
+ course, immediately returned. Our lumber was delivered by ox-teams, and
+ the absolutely essential purchases we made "outside" (at the nearest
+ shops, forty miles away) were carried through the forest on the backs of
+ men. Our mail was delivered once a month by a carrier who made the journey
+ in alternate stages of horseback riding and canoeing. But we had health,
+ youth, enthusiasm, good appetites, and the wherewithal to satisfy them,
+ and at night in our primitive bunks we sank into abysses of dreamless
+ slumber such as I have never known since. Indeed, looking back upon them,
+ those first months seem to have been a long-drawn-out and glorious picnic,
+ interrupted only by occasional hours of pain or panic, when we were hurt
+ or frightened.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Naturally, our two greatest menaces were wild animals and Indians, but as
+ the days passed the first of these lost the early terrors with which we
+ had associated them. We grew indifferent to the sounds that had made our
+ first night a horror to us all&mdash;there was even a certain homeliness
+ in them&mdash;while we regarded with accustomed, almost blase eyes the
+ various furred creatures of which we caught distant glimpses as they slunk
+ through the forest. Their experience with other settlers had taught them
+ caution; it soon became clear that they were as eager to avoid us as we
+ were to shun them, and by common consent we gave each other ample
+ elbow-room. But the Indians were all around us, and every settler had a
+ collection of hair-raising tales to tell of them. It was generally agreed
+ that they were dangerous only when they were drunk; but as they were drunk
+ whenever they could get whisky, and as whisky was constantly given them in
+ exchange for pelts and game, there was a harrowing doubt in our minds
+ whenever they approached us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In my first encounter with them I was alone in the woods at sunset with my
+ small brother Harry. We were hunting a cow James had bought, and our young
+ eyes were peering eagerly among the trees, on the alert for any moving
+ object. Suddenly, at a little distance, and coming directly toward us, we
+ saw a party of Indians. There were five of them, all men, walking in
+ single file, as noiselessly as ghosts, their moccasined feet causing not
+ even a rustle among the dry leaves that carpeted the woods. All the
+ horrible stories we had heard of Indian cruelty flashed into our minds,
+ and for a moment we were dumb with terror. Then I remembered having been
+ told that the one thing one must not do before them is to show fear. Harry
+ was carrying a rope with which we had expected to lead home our reluctant
+ cow, and I seized one end of it and whispered to him that we would "play
+ horse," pretending he was driving me. We pranced toward the Indians on
+ feet that felt like lead, and with eyes so glazed by terror that we could
+ see nothing save a line of moving figures; but as we passed them they did
+ not give to our little impersonation of care-free children even the
+ tribute of a side-glance. They were, we realized, headed straight for our
+ home; and after a few moments we doubled on our tracks and, keeping at a
+ safe distance from them among the trees, ran back to warn our mother that
+ they were coming.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As it happened, James was away, and mother had to meet her unwelcome
+ guests supported only by her young children. She at once prepared a meal,
+ however, and when they arrived she welcomed them calmly and gave them the
+ best she had. After they had eaten they began to point at and demand
+ objects they fancied in the room&mdash;my brother's pipe, some tobacco, a
+ bowl, and such trifles&mdash;and my mother, who was afraid to annoy them
+ by refusal, gave them what they asked. They were quite sober, and though
+ they left without expressing any appreciation of her hospitality, they
+ made her a second visit a few months later, bringing a large quantity of
+ venison and a bag of cranberries as a graceful return. These Indians were
+ Ottawas; and later we became very friendly with them and their tribe, even
+ to the degree of attending one of their dances, which I shall describe
+ later.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our second encounter with Indians was a less agreeable experience. There
+ were seven "Marquette warriors" in the next group of callers, and they
+ were all intoxicated. Moreover, they had brought with them several jugs of
+ bad whisky&mdash;the raw and craze-provoking product supplied them by the
+ fur-dealers&mdash;and it was clear that our cabin was to be the scene of
+ an orgy. Fortunately, my brother James was at home on this occasion, and
+ as the evening grew old and the Indians, grouped together around the fire,
+ became more and more irresponsible, he devised a plan for our safety. Our
+ attic was finished, and its sole entrance was by a ladder through a
+ trap-door. At James's whispered command my sister Eleanor slipped up into
+ the attic, and from the back window let down a rope, to which he tied all
+ the weapons we had&mdash;his gun and several axes. These Eleanor drew up
+ and concealed in one of the bunks. My brother then directed that as
+ quietly as possible, and at long intervals, one member of the family after
+ another was to slip up the ladder and into the attic, going quite
+ casually, that the Indians might not realize what we were doing. Once
+ there, with the ladder drawn up after us and the trap-door closed, we
+ would be reasonably safe, unless our guests decided to burn the cabin.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The evening seemed endless, and was certainly nerve-racking. The Indians
+ ate everything in the house, and from my seat in a dim corner I watched
+ them while my sisters waited on them. I can still see the tableau they
+ made in the firelit room and hear the unfamiliar accents of their speech
+ as they talked together. Occasionally one of them would pull a hair from
+ his head, seize his scalping-knife; and cut the hair with it&mdash;a most
+ unpleasant sight! When either of my sisters approached them some of the
+ Indians would make gestures, as if capturing and scalping her. Through it
+ all, however, the whisky held their close attention, and it was due to
+ this that we succeeded in reaching the attic unobserved, James coming last
+ of all and drawing the ladder after him. Mother and the children were then
+ put to bed; but through that interminable night James and Eleanor lay flat
+ upon the floor, watching through the cracks between the boards the revels
+ of the drunken Indians, which grew wilder with every hour that crawled
+ toward sunrise. There was no knowing when they would miss us or how soon
+ their mood might change. At any moment they might make an attack upon us
+ or set fire to the cabin. By dawn, however, their whisky was all gone, and
+ they were in so deep a stupor that, one after the other, the seven fell
+ from their chairs to the floor, where they sprawled unconscious. When they
+ awoke they left quietly and without trouble of any kind. They seemed a
+ strangely subdued and chastened band; probably they were wretchedly ill
+ after their debauch on the adulterated whisky the traders had given them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That autumn the Ottawa tribe had a great corn celebration, to which we and
+ the other settlers were invited. James and my older sisters attended it,
+ and I went with them, by my own urgent invitation. It seemed to me that as
+ I was sharing the work and the perils of our new environment, I might as
+ well share its joys; and I finally succeeded in making my family see the
+ logic of this position. The central feature of the festivity was a huge
+ kettle, many feet in circumference, into which the Indians dropped the
+ most extraordinary variety of food we had ever seen combined. Deer heads
+ went into it whole, as well as every kind of meat and vegetable the
+ members of the tribe could procure. We all ate some of this agreeable
+ mixture, and later, with one another, and even with the Indians, we danced
+ gaily to the music of a tom-tom and a drum. The affair was extremely
+ interesting until the whisky entered and did its unpleasant work. When our
+ hosts began to fall over in the dance and slumber where they lay, and when
+ the squaws began to show the same ill effects of their refreshments, we
+ unostentatiously slipped away.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During the winter life offered us few diversions and many hardships. Our
+ creek froze over, and the water problem became a serious one, which we met
+ with increasing difficulty as the temperature steadily fell. We melted
+ snow and ice, and existed through the frozen months, but with an amount of
+ discomfort which made us unwilling to repeat at least that special phase
+ of our experience. In the spring, therefore, I made a well. Long before
+ this, James had gone, and Harry and I were now the only outdoor members of
+ our working-force. Harry was still too small to help with the well; but a
+ young man, who had formed the neighborly habit of riding eighteen miles to
+ call on us, gave me much friendly aid. We located the well with a switch,
+ and when we had dug as far as we could reach with our spades, my assistant
+ descended into the hole and threw the earth up to the edge, from which I
+ in turn removed it. As the well grew deeper we made a half-way shelf, on
+ which I stood, he throwing the earth on the shelf, and I shoveling it up
+ from that point. Later, as he descended still farther into the hole we
+ were making, he shoveled the earth into buckets and passed them up to me,
+ I passing them on to my sister, who was now pressed into service. When the
+ excavation was deep enough we made the wall of slabs of wood, roughly
+ joined together. I recall that well with calm content. It was not a thing
+ of beauty, but it was a thoroughly practical well, and it remained the
+ only one we had during the twelve years the family occupied the cabin.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During our first year there was no school within ten miles of us, but this
+ lack failed to sadden Harry or me. We had brought with us from Lawrence a
+ box of books, in which, in winter months, when our outdoor work was
+ restricted, we found much comfort. They were the only books in that part
+ of the country, and we read them until we knew them all by heart.
+ Moreover, father sent us regularly the New York Independent, and with this
+ admirable literature, after reading it, we papered our walls. Thus, on
+ stormy days, we could lie on the settle or the floor and read the
+ Independent over again with increased interest and pleasure.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Occasionally father sent us the Ledger, but here mother drew a definite
+ line. She had a special dislike for that periodical, and her severest
+ comment on any woman was that she was the type who would "keep a dog, make
+ saleratus biscuit, and read the New York Ledger in the daytime." Our
+ modest library also contained several histories of Greece and Rome, which
+ must have been good ones, for years later, when I entered college, I
+ passed my examination in ancient history with no other preparation than
+ this reading. There were also a few arithmetics and algebras, a historical
+ novel or two, and the inevitable copy of Uncle Tom's Cabin, whose pages I
+ had freely moistened with my tears.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the advantages of public education were finally extended to me, at
+ thirteen, by the opening of a school three miles from our home, I accepted
+ them with growing reluctance. The teacher was a spinster forty-four years
+ of age and the only genuine "old maid" I have ever met who was not a
+ married woman or a man. She was the real thing, and her name, Prudence
+ Duncan, seemed the fitting label for her rigidly uncompromising
+ personality. I graced Prudence's school for three months, and then left it
+ at her fervid request. I had walked six miles a day through trackless
+ woods and Western blizzards to get what she could give me, but she had
+ little to offer my awakened and critical mind. My reading and my Lawrence
+ school-work had already taught me more than Prudence knew&mdash;a fact we
+ both inwardry&mdash;admitted and fiercely resented from our different
+ viewpoints. Beyond doubt I was a pert and trying young person. I lost no
+ opportunity to lead Prudence beyond her intellectual depth and leave her
+ there, and Prudence vented her chagrin not alone upon me, but upon my
+ little brother. I became a thorn in her side, and one day, after an
+ especially unpleasant episode in which Harry also figured, she plucked me
+ out, as it were, and cast me for ever from her. From that time I studied
+ at home, where I was a much more valuable economic factor than I had been
+ in school.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The second spring after our arrival Harry and I extended our operations by
+ tapping the sugar-bushes, collecting all the sap, and carrying it home in
+ pails slung from our yoke-laden shoulders. Together we made one hundred
+ and fifty pounds of sugar and a barrel of syrup, but here again, as
+ always, we worked in primitive ways. To get the sap we chopped a gash in
+ the tree and drove in a spile. Then we dug out a trough to catch the sap.
+ It was no light task to lift these troughs full of sap and empty the sap
+ into buckets, but we did it successfully, and afterward built fires and
+ boiled it down. By this time we had also cleared some of our ground, and
+ during the spring we were able to plow, dividing the work in a way that
+ seemed fair to us both. These were strenuous occupations for a boy of nine
+ and a girl of thirteen, but, though we were not inordinately good
+ children, we never complained; we found them very satisfactory substitutes
+ for more normal bucolic joys. Inevitably, we had our little tragedies. Our
+ cow died, and for an entire winter we went without milk. Our coffee soon
+ gave out, and as a substitute we made and used a mixture of browned peas
+ and burnt rye. In the winter we were always cold, and the water problem,
+ until we had built our well, was ever with us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Father joined us at the end of eighteen months, but though his presence
+ gave us pleasure and moral support, he was not an addition to our
+ executive staff. He brought with him a rocking-chair for mother and a new
+ supply of books, on which I fell as a starving man falls upon food. Father
+ read as eagerly as I, but much more steadily. His mind was always busy
+ with problems, and if, while he was laboring in the field, a new problem
+ presented itself to him, the imperishable curiosity that was in him made
+ him scurry at once to the house to solve it. I have known him to spend a
+ planting season in figuring on the production of a certain number of
+ kernels of corn, instead of planting the corn and raising it. In the
+ winter he was supposed to spend his time clearing land for orchards and
+ the like, but instead he pored over his books and problems day after day
+ and often half the night as well. It soon became known among our
+ neighbors, who were rapidly increasing in number, that we had books and
+ that father like to read aloud, and men walked ten miles or more to spend
+ the night with us and listen to his reading. Often, as his fame grew, ten
+ or twelve men would arrive at our cabin on Saturday and remain over
+ Sunday. When my mother once tried to check this influx of guests by mildly
+ pointing out, among other things, the waste of candles represented by
+ frequent all-night readings, every man humbly appeared again on the
+ following Saturday with a candle in each hand. They were not sensitive;
+ and, as they had brought their candles, it seemed fitting to them and to
+ father that we girls should cook for them and supply them with food.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Father's tolerance of idleness in others, however, did not extend to
+ tolerance of idleness in us, and this led to my first rebellion, which
+ occurred when I was fourteen. For once, I had been in the woods all day,
+ buried in my books; and when I returned at night, still in the dream world
+ these books had opened to me, father was awaiting my coming with a brow
+ dark with disapproval. As it happened, mother had felt that day some
+ special need of me, and father reproached me bitterly for being beyond
+ reach&mdash;an idler who wasted time while mother labored. He ended a long
+ arraignment by predicting gloomily that with such tendencies I would make
+ nothing of my life.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The injustice of the criticism cut deep; I knew I had done and was doing
+ my share for the family, and already, too, I had begun to feel the call of
+ my career. For some reason I wanted to preach&mdash;to talk to people, to
+ tell them things. Just why, just what, I did not yet know&mdash;but I had
+ begun to preach in the silent woods, to stand up on stumps and address the
+ unresponsive trees, to feel the stir of aspiration within me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When my father had finished all he wished to say, I looked at him and
+ answered, quietly, "Father, some day I am going to college."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I can still see his slight, ironical smile. It drove me to a second
+ prediction. I was young enough to measure success by material results, so
+ I added, recklessly:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "And before I die I shall be worth ten thousand dollars!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The amount staggered me even as it dropped from my lips. It was the
+ largest fortune my imagination could conceive, and in my heart I believed
+ that no woman ever had possessed or would possess so much. So far as I
+ knew, too, no woman had gone to college. But now that I had put my secret
+ hopes into words, I was desperately determined to make those hopes come
+ true. After I became a wage-earner I lost my desire to make a fortune, but
+ the college dream grew with the years; and though my college career seemed
+ as remote as the most distant star, I hitched my little wagon to that star
+ and never afterward wholly lost sight of its friendly gleam.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I was fifteen years old I was offered a situation as school-teacher.
+ By this time the community was growing around us with the rapidity
+ characteristic of these Western settlements, and we had nearer neighbors
+ whose children needed instruction. I passed an examination before a
+ schoolboard consisting of three nervous and self-conscious men whose
+ certificate I still hold, and I at once began my professional career on
+ the modest salary of two dollars a week and my board. The school was four
+ miles from my home, so I "boarded round" with the families of my pupils,
+ staying two weeks in each place, and often walking from three to six miles
+ a day to and from my little log school-house in every kind of weather.
+ During the first year I had about fourteen pupils, of varying ages, sizes,
+ and temperaments, and there was hardly a book in the school-room except
+ those I owned. One little girl, I remember, read from an almanac, while a
+ second used a hymn-book.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In winter the school-house was heated by a woodstove, to which the teacher
+ had to give close personal attention. I could not depend on my pupils to
+ make the fires or carry in the fuel; and it was often necessary to fetch
+ the wood myself, sometimes for long distances through the forest. Again
+ and again, after miles of walking through winter storms, I reached the
+ school-house with my clothing wet through, and in these soaked garments I
+ taught during the day. In "boarding round" I often found myself in
+ one-room cabins, with bunks at the end and the sole partition a sheet or a
+ blanket, behind which I slept with one or two of the children. It was the
+ custom on these occasions for the man of the house to delicately retire to
+ the barn while we women got to bed, and to disappear again in the morning
+ while we dressed. In some places the meals were so badly cooked that I
+ could not eat them, and often the only food my poor little pupils brought
+ to school for their noonday meal was a piece of bread or a bit of raw
+ pork.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I earned my two dollars a week that year, but I had to wait for my wages
+ until the dog tax was collected in the spring. When the money was thus
+ raised, and the twenty-six dollars for my thirteen weeks of teaching were
+ graciously put into my hands, I went "outside" to the nearest shop and
+ joyously spent almost the entire amount for my first "party dress." The
+ gown I bought was, I considered, a beautiful creation. In color it was a
+ rich magenta, and the skirt was elaborately braided with black cable-cord.
+ My admiration for it was justified, for it did all a young girl's eager
+ heart could ask of any gown&mdash;it led to my first proposal.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The youth who sought my hand was about twenty years old, and by an unhappy
+ chance he was also the least attractive young person in the countryside&mdash;the
+ laughing-stock of the neighbors, the butt of his associates. The night he
+ came to offer me his heart there were already two young men at our home
+ calling on my sisters, and we were all sitting around the fire in the
+ living-room when my suitor appeared. His costume, like himself, left much
+ to be desired. He wore a blue flannel shirt and a pair of trousers made of
+ flour-bags. Such trousers were not uncommon in our region, and the boy's
+ mother, who had made them for him, had thoughtfully selected a nice clean
+ pair of sacks. But on one leg was the name of the firm that made the flour&mdash;A.
+ and G. W. Green&mdash;and by a charming coincidence A. and G. W. Green
+ happened to be the two young men who were calling on my sisters! On the
+ back of the bags, directly in the rear of the wearer, was the simple
+ legend, "96 pounds"; and the striking effect of the young man's costume
+ was completed by a bright yellow sash which held his trousers in place.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The vision fascinated my sisters and their two guests. They gave it their
+ entire attention, and when the new-comer signified with an eloquent
+ gesture that he was calling on me, and beckoned me into an inner room, the
+ quartet arose as one person and followed us to the door. Then, as we
+ inhospitably closed the door, they fastened their eyes to the cracks in
+ the living-room wall, that they might miss none of the entertainment. When
+ we were alone my guest and I sat down in facing chairs and in depressed
+ silence. The young man was nervous, and I was both frightened and annoyed.
+ I had heard suppressed giggles on the other side of the wall, and I
+ realized, as my self-centered visitor failed to do, that we were not
+ enjoying the privacy the situation seemed to demand. At last the youth
+ informed me that his "dad" had just given him a cabin, a yoke of steers, a
+ cow, and some hens. When this announcement had produced its full effect,
+ he straightened up in his chair and asked, solemnly, "Will ye have me?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ An outburst of chortles from the other side of the wall greeted the
+ proposal, but the ardent youth ignored it, if indeed he heard it. With
+ eyes staring straight ahead, he sat rigid, waiting for my answer; and I,
+ anxious only to get rid of him and to end the strain of the moment, said
+ the first thing that came into my head. "I can't," I told him. "I'm sorry,
+ but&mdash;but&mdash;I'm engaged."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He rose quickly, with the effect of a half-closed jack-knife that is
+ suddenly opened, and for an instant stood looking down upon me. He was six
+ feet two inches tall, and extremely thin. I am very short, and, as I
+ looked up, his flour-bag trousers seemed to join his yellow sash somewhere
+ near the ceiling of the room. He put both hands into his pockets and
+ slowly delivered his valedictory. "That's darned disappointing to a
+ fellow," he said, and left the house. After a moment devoted to regaining
+ my maidenly composure I returned to the living-room, where I had the
+ privilege of observing the enjoyment of my sisters and their visitors.
+ Helpless with mirth and with tears of pleasure on their cheeks, the four
+ rocked and shrieked as they recalled the picture my gallant had presented.
+ For some time after that incident I felt a strong distaste for sentiment.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Clad royally in the new gown, I attended my first ball in November, going
+ with a party of eight that included my two sisters, another girl, and four
+ young men. The ball was at Big Rapids, which by this time had grown to be
+ a thriving lumber town. It was impossible to get a team of horses or even
+ a yoke of oxen for the journey, so we made a raft and went down the river
+ on that, taking our party dresses with us in trunks. Unfortunately, the
+ raft "hung up" in the stream, and the four young men had to get out into
+ the icy water and work a long time before they could detach it from the
+ rocks. Naturally, they were soaked and chilled through, but they all bore
+ the experience with a gay philosophy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When we reached Big Rapids we dressed for the ball, and, as in those days
+ it was customary to change one's gown again at midnight, I had an
+ opportunity to burst on the assemblage in two costumes&mdash;the second
+ made of bedroom chintz, with a low neck and short sleeves. We danced the
+ "money musk," and the "Virginia reel," "hoeing her down" (which means
+ changing partners) in true pioneer style. I never missed a dance at this
+ or any subsequent affair, and I was considered the gayest and the most
+ tireless young person at our parties until I became a Methodist minister
+ and dropped such worldly vanities. The first time I preached in my home
+ region all my former partners came to hear me, and listened with wide,
+ understanding, reminiscent smiles which made it very hard for me to keep
+ soberly to my text.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the near future I had reason to regret the extravagant expenditure of
+ my first earnings. For my second year of teaching, in the same school, I
+ was to receive five dollars a week and to pay my own board. I selected a
+ place two miles and a half from the school-house, and was promptly asked
+ by my host to pay my board in advance. This, he explained, was due to no
+ lack of faith in me; the money would enable him to go "outside" to work,
+ leaving his family well supplied with provisions. I allowed him to go to
+ the school committee and collect my board in advance, at the rate of three
+ dollars a week for the season. When I presented myself at my new
+ boarding-place, however, two days later, I found the house nailed up and
+ deserted; the man and his family had departed with my money, and I was
+ left, as my committeemen sympathetically remarked, "high and dry." There
+ were only two dollars a week coming to me after that, so I walked back and
+ forth between my home and my school, almost four miles, twice a day; and
+ during this enforced exercise there was ample opportunity to reflect on
+ the fleeting joy of riches.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the mean time war had been declared. When the news came that Fort
+ Sumter had been fired on, and that Lincoln had called for troops, our men
+ were threshing. There was only one threshing-machine in the region at that
+ time, and it went from place to place, the farmers doing their threshing
+ whenever they could get the machine. I remember seeing a man ride up on
+ horseback, shouting out Lincoln's demand for troops and explaining that a
+ regiment was being formed at Big Rapids. Before he had finished speaking
+ the men on the machine had leaped to the ground and rushed off to enlist,
+ my brother Jack, who had recently joined us, among them. In ten minutes
+ not one man was left in the field. A few months later my brother Tom
+ enlisted as a bugler&mdash;he was a mere boy at the time&mdash;and not
+ long after that my father followed the example of his sons and served
+ until the war was ended. He had entered on the twenty-ninth of August,
+ 1862, as an army steward; he came back to us with the rank of lieutenant
+ and assistant surgeon of field and staff.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Between those years I was the principal support of our family, and life
+ became a strenuous and tragic affair. For months at a time we had no news
+ from the front. The work in our community, if it was done at all, was done
+ by despairing women whose hearts were with their men. When care had become
+ our constant guest, Death entered our home as well. My sister Eleanor had
+ married, and died in childbirth, leaving her baby to me; and the blackest
+ hours of those black years were the hours that saw her passing. I can see
+ her still, lying in a stupor from which she roused herself at intervals to
+ ask about her child. She insisted that our brother Tom should name the
+ baby, but Tom was fighting for his country, unless he had already preceded
+ Eleanor through the wide portal that was opening before her. I could only
+ tell her that I had written to him; but before the assurance was an hour
+ old she would climb up from the gulf of unconsciousness with infinite
+ effort to ask if we had received his reply. At last, to calm her, I told
+ her it had come, and that Tom had chosen for her little son the name of
+ Arthur. She smiled at this and drew a deep breath; then, still smiling,
+ she passed away. Her baby slipped into her vacant place and almost filled
+ our heavy hearts, but only for a short time; for within a few months after
+ his mother's death his father married again and took him from me, and it
+ seemed that with his going we had lost all that made life worth while.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The problem of living grew harder with everyday. We eked out our little
+ income in every way we could, taking as boarders the workers in the
+ logging-camps, making quilts, which we sold, and losing no chance to earn
+ a penny in any legitimate manner. Again my mother did such outside sewing
+ as she could secure, yet with every month of our effort the gulf between
+ our income and our expenses grew wider, and the price of the bare
+ necessities of exisence{sic} climbed up and up. The largest amount I could
+ earn at teaching was six dollars a week, and our school year included only
+ two terms of thirteen weeks each. It was an incessant struggle to keep our
+ land, to pay our taxes, and to live. Calico was selling at fifty cents a
+ yard. Coffee was one dollar a pound. There were no men left to grind our
+ corn, to get in our crops, or to care for our live stock; and all around
+ us we saw our struggle reflected in the lives of our neighbors.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At long intervals word came to us of battles in which my father's regiment&mdash;the
+ Tenth Michigan Cavalry Volunteers&mdash;or those of my brothers were
+ engaged, and then longer intervals followed in which we heard no news.
+ After Eleanor's death my brother Tom was wounded, and for months we lived
+ in terror of worse tidings, but he finally recovered. I was walking seven
+ and eight miles a day, and doing extra work before and after school hours,
+ and my health began to fail. Those were years I do not like to look back
+ upon&mdash;years in which life had degenerated into a treadmill whose
+ monotony was broken only by the grim messages from the front. My sister
+ Mary married and went to Big Rapids to live. I had no time to dream my
+ dream, but the star of my one purpose still glowed in my dark horizon. It
+ seemed that nothing short of a miracle could lift my feet from their
+ plodding way and set them on the wider path toward which my eyes were
+ turned, but I never lost faith that in some manner the miracle would come
+ to pass. As certainly as I have ever known anything, I KNEW that I was
+ going to college!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ III. HIGH-SCHOOL AND COLLEGE DAYS
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ The end of the Civil War brought freedom to me, too. When peace was
+ declared my father and brothers returned to the claim in the wilderness
+ which we women of the family had labored so desperately to hold while they
+ were gone. To us, as to others, the final years of the war had brought
+ many changes. My sister Eleanor's place was empty. Mary, as I have said,
+ had married and gone to live in Big Rapids, and my mother and I were alone
+ with my brother Harry, now a boy of fourteen. After the return of our men
+ it was no longer necessary to devote every penny of my earnings to the
+ maintenance of our home. For the first time I could begin to save a
+ portion of my income toward the fulfilment of my college dream, but even
+ yet there was a long, arid stretch ahead of me before the college doors
+ came even distantly into sight.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The largest salary I could earn by teaching in our Northern woods was one
+ hundred and fifty-six dollars a year, for two terms of thirteen weeks
+ each; and from this, of course, I had to deduct the cost of my board and
+ clothing&mdash;the sole expenditure I allowed myself. The dollars for an
+ education accumulated very, very slowly, until at last, in desperation,
+ weary of seeing the years of my youth rush past, bearing my hopes with
+ them, I took a sudden and radical step. I gave up teaching, left our cabin
+ in the woods, and went to Big Rapids to live with my sister Mary, who had
+ married a successful man and who generously offered me a home. There, I
+ had decided, I would learn a trade of some kind, of any kind; it did not
+ greatly matter what it was. The sole essential was that it should be a
+ money-making trade, offering wages which would make it possible to add
+ more rapidly to my savings. In those days, almost fifty years ago, and in
+ a small pioneer town, the fields open to women were few and unfruitful.
+ The needle at once presented itself, but at first I turned with loathing
+ from it. I would have preferred the digging of ditches or the shoveling of
+ coal; but the needle alone persistently pointed out my way, and I was
+ finally forced to take it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Fate, however, as if weary at last of seeing me between her paws, suddenly
+ let me escape. Before I had been working a month at my uncongenial trade
+ Big Rapids was favored by a visit from a Universalist woman minister, the
+ Reverend Marianna Thompson, who came there to preach. Her sermon was
+ delivered on Sunday morning, and I was, I think, almost the earliest
+ arrival of the great congregation which filled the church. It was a
+ wonderful moment when I saw my first woman minister enter her pulpit; and
+ as I listened to her sermon, thrilled to the soul, all my early
+ aspirations to become a minister myself stirred in me with cumulative
+ force. After the services I hung for a time on the fringe of the group
+ that surrounded her, and at last, when she was alone and about to leave, I
+ found courage to introduce myself and pour forth the tale of my ambition.
+ Her advice was as prompt as if she had studied my problem for years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "My child," she said, "give up your foolish idea of learning a trade, and
+ go to school. You can't do anything until you have an education. Get it,
+ and get it NOW."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Her suggestion was much to my liking, and I paid her the compliment of
+ acting on it promptly, for the next morning I entered the Big Rapids High
+ School, which was also a preparatory school for college. There I would
+ study, I determined, as long as my money held out, and with the optimism
+ of youth I succeeded in confining my imagination to this side of that
+ crisis. My home, thanks to Mary, was assured; the wardrobe I had brought
+ from the woods covered me sufficiently; to one who had walked five and six
+ miles a day for years, walking to school held no discomfort; and as for
+ pleasure, I found it, like a heroine of fiction, in my studies. For the
+ first time life was smiling at me, and with all my young heart I smiled
+ back.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The preceptress of the high school was Lucy Foot, a college graduate and a
+ remarkable woman. I had heard much of her sympathy and understanding; and
+ on the evening following my first day in school I went to her and repeated
+ the confidences I had reposed in the Reverend Marianna Thompson. My trust
+ in her was justified. She took an immediate interest in me, and proved it
+ at once by putting me into the speaking and debating classes, where I was
+ given every opportunity to hold forth to helpless classmates when the
+ spirit of eloquence moved me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As an aid to public speaking I was taught to "elocute," and I remember in
+ every mournful detail the occasion on which I gave my first recitation. We
+ were having our monthly "public exhibition night," and the audience
+ included not only my classmates, but their parents and friends as well.
+ The selection I intended to recite was a poem entitled "No Sects in
+ Heaven," but when I faced my audience I was so appalled by its size and by
+ the sudden realization of my own temerity that I fainted during the
+ delivery of the first verse. Sympathetic classmates carried me into an
+ anteroom and revived me, after which they naturally assumed that the
+ entertainment I furnished was over for the evening. I, however, felt that
+ if I let that failure stand against me I could never afterward speak in
+ public; and within ten minutes, notwithstanding the protests of my
+ friends, I was back in the hall and beginning my recitation a second time.
+ The audience gave me its eager attention. Possibly it hoped to see me
+ topple off the platform again, but nothing of the sort occurred. I went
+ through the recitation with self-possession and received some friendly
+ applause at the end. Strangely enough, those first sensations of "stage
+ fright" have been experienced, in a lesser degree, in connection with each
+ of the thousands of public speeches I have made since that time. I have
+ never again gone so far as to faint in the presence of an audience; but I
+ have invariably walked out on the platform feeling the sinking sensation
+ at the pit of the stomach, the weakness of the knees, that I felt in the
+ hour of my debut. Now, however, the nervousness passes after a moment or
+ two.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From that night Miss Foot lost no opportunity of putting me into the
+ foreground of our school affairs. I took part in all our debates, recited
+ yards of poetry to any audience we could attract, and even shone mildly in
+ our amateur theatricals. It was probably owing to all this activity that I
+ attracted the interest of the presiding elder of our district&mdash;Dr.
+ Peck, a man of progressive ideas. There was at that time a movement on
+ foot to license women to preach in the Methodist Church, and Dr. Peck was
+ ambitious to be the first presiding elder to have a woman ordained for the
+ Methodist ministry. He had urged Miss Foot to be this pioneer, but her
+ ambitions did not turn in that direction. Though she was a very devout
+ Methodist, she had no wish to be the shepherd of a religious flock. She
+ loved her school-work, and asked nothing better than to remain in it.
+ Gently but persistently she directed the attention of Dr. Peck to me, and
+ immediately things began to happen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Without telling me to what it might lead, Miss Foot finally arranged a
+ meeting at her home by inviting Dr. Peck and me to dinner. Being
+ unconscious of any significance in the occasion, I chatted light-heartedly
+ about the large issues of life and probably settled most of them to my
+ personal satisfaction. Dr. Peck drew me out and led me on, listened and
+ smiled. When the evening was over and we rose to go, he turned to me with
+ sudden seriousness:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "My quarterly meeting will be held at Ashton," he remarked, casually. "I
+ would like you to preach the quarterly sermon."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For a moment the earth seemed to slip away from my feet. I stared at him
+ in utter stupefaction. Then slowly I realized that, incredible as it
+ seemed, the man was in earnest.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why," I stammered, "<i>I</i> can't preach a sermon!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Dr. Peck smiled at me. "Have you ever tried?" he asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I started to assure him vehemently that I never had. Then, as if Time had
+ thrown a picture on a screen before me, I saw myself as a little girl
+ preaching alone in the forest, as I had so often preached to a
+ congregation of listening trees. I qualified my answer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Never," I said, "to human beings."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Dr. Peck smiled again. "Well," he told me, "the door is open. Enter or
+ not, as you wish."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He left the house, but I remained to discuss his overwhelming proposition
+ with Miss Foot. A sudden sobering thought had come to me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "But," I exclaimed, "I've never been converted. How can I preach to any
+ one?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We both had the old-time idea of conversion, which now seems so mistaken.
+ We thought one had to struggle with sin and with the Lord until at last
+ the heart opened, doubts were dispersed, and the light poured in. Miss
+ Foot could only advise me to put the matter before the Lord, to wrestle
+ and to pray; and thereafter, for hours at a time, she worked and prayed
+ with me, alternately urging, pleading, instructing, and sending up
+ petitions in my behalf. Our last session was a dramatic one, which took up
+ the entire night. Long before it was over we were both worn out; but
+ toward morning, either from exhaustion of body or exaltation of soul, I
+ seemed to see the light, and it made me very happy. With all my heart I
+ wanted to preach, and I believed that now at last I had my call. The
+ following day we sent word to Dr. Peck that I would preach the sermon at
+ Ashton as he had asked, but we urged him to say nothing of the matter for
+ the present, and Miss Foot and I also kept the secret locked in our
+ breasts. I knew only too well what view my family and my friends would
+ take of such a step and of me. To them it would mean nothing short of
+ personal disgrace and a blotted page in the Shaw record.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I had six weeks in which to prepare my sermon, and I gave it most of my
+ waking hours as well as those in which I should have been asleep. I took
+ for my text: "And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even
+ so must the Son of Man be lifted up; that whosoever believeth in Him
+ should not perish, but have eternal life."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was not until three days before I preached the sermon that I found
+ courage to confide my purpose to my sister Mary, and if I had confessed my
+ intention to commit a capital crime she could not have been more
+ disturbed. We two had always been very close, and the death of Eleanor, to
+ whom we were both devoted, had drawn us even nearer to each other. Now
+ Mary's tears and prayers wrung my heart and shook my resolution. But,
+ after all, she was asking me to give up my whole future, to close my ears
+ to my call, and I felt that I could not do it. My decision caused an
+ estrangement between us which lasted for years. On the day preceding the
+ delivery of my sermon I left for Ashton on the afternoon train; and in the
+ same car, but as far away from me as she could get, Mary sat alone and
+ wept throughout the journey. She was going to my mother, but she did not
+ speak to me; and I, for my part, facing both alienation from her and the
+ ordeal before me, found my one comfort in Lucy Foot's presence and
+ understanding sympathy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There was no church in Ashton, so I preached my sermon in its one little
+ school-house, which was filled with a curious crowd, eager to look at and
+ hear the girl who was defying all conventions by getting out of the pew
+ and into the pulpit. There was much whispering and suppressed excitement
+ before I began, but when I gave out my text silence fell upon the room,
+ and from that moment until I had finished my hearers listened quietly. A
+ kerosene-lamp stood on a stand at my elbow, and as I preached I trembled
+ so violently that the oil shook in its glass globe; but I finished without
+ breaking down, and at the end Dr. Peck, who had his own reasons for
+ nervousness, handsomely assured me that my first sermon was better than
+ his maiden effort had been. It was evidently not a failure, for the next
+ day he invited me to follow him around in his circuit, which included
+ thirty-six appointments; he wished me to preach in each of the thirty-six
+ places, as it was desirable to let the various ministers hear and know me
+ before I applied for my license as a local preacher.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The sermon also had another result, less gratifying. It brought out, on
+ the following morning, the first notice of me ever printed in a newspaper.
+ This was instigated by my brother-in-law, and it was brief but pointed. It
+ read:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A young girl named Anna Shaw, seventeen years old, <a href="#linknote-1"
+ name="linknoteref-1" id="linknoteref-1"><small>1</small></a> preached at
+ Ashton yesterday. Her real friends deprecate the course she is pursuing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="linknote-1" id="linknote-1">
+ <!-- Note --></a>
+ </p>
+ <p class="foot">
+ 1 (<a href="#linknoteref-1">return</a>)<br /> [ A misstatement by the
+ brother-in-law. Dr. Shaw was at this time twenty-three years old.&mdash;E.
+ J.]
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The little notice had something of the effect of a lighted match applied
+ to gunpowder. An explosion of public sentiment followed it, the entire
+ community arose in consternation, and I became a bone of contention over
+ which friends and strangers alike wrangled until they wore themselves out.
+ The members of my family, meeting in solemn council, sent for me, and I
+ responded. They had a proposition to make, and they lost no time in
+ putting it before me. If I gave up my preaching they would send me to
+ college and pay for my entire course. They suggested Ann Arbor, and Ann
+ Arbor tempted me sorely; but to descend from the pulpit I had at last
+ entered&mdash;the pulpit I had visualized in all my childish dreams&mdash;was
+ not to be considered. We had a long evening together, and it was a very
+ unhappy one. At the end of it I was given twenty-four hours in which to
+ decide whether I would choose my people and college, or my pulpit and the
+ arctic loneliness of a life that held no family-circle. It did not require
+ twenty-four hours of reflection to convince me that I must go my solitary
+ way.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That year I preached thirty-six times, at each of the presiding elder's
+ appointments; and the following spring, at the annual Methodist Conference
+ of our district, held at Big Rapids, my name was presented to the
+ assembled ministers as that of a candidate for a license to preach. There
+ was unusual interest in the result, and my father was among those who came
+ to the Conference to see the vote taken. During these Conferences a
+ minister voted affirmatively on a question by holding up his hand, and
+ negatively by failing to do so. When the question of my license came up
+ the majority of the ministers voted by raising both hands, and in the
+ pleasant excitement which followed my father slipped away. Those who saw
+ him told me he looked pleased; but he sent me no message showing a change
+ of viewpoint, and the gulf between the family and its black sheep remained
+ unbridged. Though the warmth of Mary's love for me had become a memory,
+ the warmth of her hearthstone was still offered me. I accepted it,
+ perforce, and we lived together like shadows of what we had been. Two
+ friends alone of all I had made stood by me without qualification&mdash;Miss
+ Foot and Clara Osborn, the latter my "chum" at Big Rapids and a dweller in
+ my heart to this day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the mean time my preaching had not interfered with my studies. I was
+ working day and night, but life was very difficult; for among my
+ schoolmates, too, there were doubts and much head-shaking over this choice
+ of a career. I needed the sound of friendly voices, for I was very lonely;
+ and suddenly, when the pressure from all sides was strongest and I was
+ going down physically under it, a voice was raised that I had never dared
+ to dream would speak for me. Mary A. Livermore came to Big Rapids, and as
+ she was then at the height of her career, the entire countryside poured in
+ to hear her. Far back in the crowded hall I sat alone and listened to her,
+ thrilled by the lecture and tremulous with the hope of meeting the
+ lecturer. When she had finished speaking I joined the throng that surged
+ forward from the body of the hall, and as I reached her and felt the grasp
+ of her friendly hand I had a sudden conviction that the meeting was an
+ epoch in my life. I was right. Some one in the circle around us told her
+ that I wanted to preach, and that I was meeting tremendous opposition. She
+ was interested at once. She looked at me with quickening sympathy, and
+ then, suddenly putting an arm around me, drew me close to her side.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "My dear," she said, quietly, "if you want to preach, go on and preach.
+ Don't let anybody stop you. No matter what people say, don't let them stop
+ you!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For a moment I was too overcome to answer her. These were almost my first
+ encouraging words, and the morning stars singing together could not have
+ made sweeter music for my ears. Before I could recover a woman within
+ hearing spoke up.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh, Mrs. Livermore," she exclaimed, "don't say that to her! We're all
+ trying to stop her. Her people are wretched over the whole thing. And
+ don't you see how ill she is? She has one foot in the grave and the other
+ almost there!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Livermore turned upon me a long and deeply thoughtful look. "Yes,"
+ she said at last, "I see she has. But it is better that she should die
+ doing the thing she wants to do than that she should die because she can't
+ do it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Her words were a tonic which restored my voice. "So they think I'm going
+ to die!" I cried. "Well, I'm not! I'm going to live and preach!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have always felt since then that without the inspiration of Mrs.
+ Livermore's encouragement I might not have continued my fight. Her
+ sanction was a shield, however, from which the criticisms of the world
+ fell back. Fate's more friendly interest in my affairs that year was shown
+ by the fact that she sent Mrs. Livermore into my life before I had met
+ Anna Dickinson. Miss Dickinson came to us toward spring and lectured on
+ Joan of Arc. Never before or since have I been more deeply moved by a
+ speaker. When she had finished her address I made my happy way to the
+ front of the hall with the others who wished to meet the distinguished
+ guest. It was our local manager who introduced me, and he said, "This is
+ our Anna Shaw. She is going to be a lecturer, too."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I looked up at the brilliant Miss Dickinson with the trustfulness of youth
+ in my eyes. I remembered Mrs. Livermore and I thought all great women were
+ like her, but I was now to experience a bitter disillusionment. Miss
+ Dickinson barely touched the tips of my fingers as she looked
+ indifferently past the side of my face. "Ah," she said, icily, and turned
+ away. In later years I learned how impossible it is for a public speaker
+ to leave a gracious impression on every life that for a moment touches her
+ own; but I have never ceased to be thankful that I met Mrs. Livermore
+ before I met Miss Dickinson at the crisis in my career.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the autumn of 1873 I entered Albion College, in Albion, Michigan. I was
+ twenty-five years of age, but I looked much younger&mdash;probably not
+ more than eighteen to the casual glance. Though I had made every effort to
+ save money, I had not been successful, for my expenses constantly outran
+ my little income, and my position as preacher made it necessary for me to
+ have a suitable wardrobe. When the time came to enter college I had
+ exactly eighteen dollars in the world, and I started for Albion with this
+ amount in my purse and without the slightest notion of how I was to add to
+ it. The money problem so pressed upon me, in fact, that when I reached my
+ destination at midnight and discovered that it would cost fifty cents to
+ ride from the station to the college, I saved that amount by walking the
+ entire distance on the railroad tracks, while my imagination busied itself
+ pleasantly with pictures of the engine that might be thundering upon me in
+ the rear. I had chosen Albion because Miss Foot had been educated there,
+ and I was encouraged by an incident that happened the morning after my
+ arrival. I was on the campus, walking toward the main building, when I saw
+ a big copper penny lying on the ground, and, on picking it up, I
+ discovered that it bore the year of my birth. That seemed a good omen, and
+ it was emphatically underlined by the finding of two exactly similar
+ pennies within a week. Though there have been days since then when I was
+ sorely tempted to spend them, I have those three pennies still, and I
+ confess to a certain comfort in their possession!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As I had not completed my high-school course, my first days at Albion were
+ spent in strenuous preparation for the entrance examinations; and one
+ morning, as I was crossing the campus with a History of the United States
+ tucked coyly under my arm, I met the president of the college, Dr.
+ Josclyn. He stopped for a word of greeting, during which I betrayed the
+ fact that I had never studied United States history. Dr. Josclyn at once
+ invited me into his office with, I am quite sure, the purpose of
+ explaining as kindly as he could that my preparation for college was
+ insufficient. As an opening to the subject he began to talk of history,
+ and we talked and talked on, while unheeded hours were born and died. We
+ discussed the history of the United States, the governments of the world,
+ the causes which led to the influence of one nation on another, the
+ philosophical basis of the different national movements westward, and the
+ like. It was the longest and by far the most interesting talk I have ever
+ had with a highly educated man, and during it I could actually feel my
+ brain expand. When I rose to go President Josclyn stopped me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I have something to give you," he said, and he wrote a few words on a
+ slip of paper and handed the slip to me. When, on reaching the dormitory,
+ I opened it, I found that the president had passed me in the history of
+ the entire college course! This, moreover, was not the only pleasant
+ result of our interview, for within a few weeks President and Mrs.
+ Josclyn, whose daughter had recently died, invited me to board with them,
+ and I made my home with them during my first year at Albion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My triumph in history was followed by the swift and chastening discovery
+ that I was behind my associates in several other branches. Owing to my
+ father's early help, I was well up in mathematics, but I had much to learn
+ of philosophy and the languages, and to these I devoted many midnight
+ candles.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Naturally, I soon plunged into speaking, and my first public speech at
+ college was a defense of Xantippe. I have always felt that the poor lady
+ was greatly abused, and that Socrates deserved all he received from her,
+ and more. I was glad to put myself on record as her champion, and my
+ fellow-students must soon have felt that my admiration for Xantippe was
+ based on similarities of temperament, for within a few months I was
+ leading the first college revolt against the authority of the men
+ students.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Albion was a coeducational institution, and the brightest jewels in its
+ crown were its three literary societies&mdash;the first composed of men
+ alone, the second of women alone, and the third of men and women together.
+ Each of the societies made friendly advances to new students, and for some
+ time I hesitated on the brink of the new joys they offered, uncertain
+ which to choose. A representative of the mixed society, who was putting
+ its claims before me, unconsciously helped me to make up my mind.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Women," he pompously assured me, "need to be associated with men, because
+ they don't know how to manage meetings."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the instant the needle of decision swung around to the women's society
+ and remained there, fixed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "If they don't," I told the pompous young man, "it's high time they
+ learned. I shall join the women, and we'll master the art."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I did join the women's society, and I had not been a member very long
+ before I discovered that when there was an advantage of any kind to be
+ secured the men invariably got it. While I was brooding somberly upon this
+ wrong an opportunity came to make a formal and effective protest against
+ the men's high-handed methods. The Quinquennial reunion of all the
+ societies was about to be held, and the special feature of this festivity
+ was always an oration. The simple method of selecting the orator which had
+ formerly prevailed had been for the young men to decide upon the speaker
+ and then announce his name to the women, who humbly confirmed it. On this
+ occasion, however, when the name came in to us, I sent a message to our
+ brother society to the effect that we, too, intended to make a nomination
+ and to send in a name.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At such unprecedented behavior the entire student body arose in
+ excitement, which, among the girls, was combined with equal parts of
+ exhilaration and awe. The men refused to consider our nominee, and as a
+ friendly compromise we suggested that we have a joint meeting of all the
+ societies and elect the speaker at this gathering; but this plan also the
+ men at first refused, giving in only after weeks of argument, during which
+ no one had time for the calmer pleasures of study. When the joint meeting
+ was finally held, nothing was accomplished; we girls had one more member
+ than the boys had, and we promptly re-elected our candidate, who was as
+ promptly declined by the boys. Two of our girls were engaged to two of the
+ boys, and it was secretly planned by our brother society that during a
+ second joint meeting these two men should take the girls out for a drive
+ and then slip back to vote, leaving the girls at some point sufficiently
+ remote from college. We discovered the plot, however, in time to thwart
+ it, and at last, when nothing but the unprecedented tie-up had been
+ discussed for months, the boys suddenly gave up their candidate and
+ nominated me for orator.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This was not at all what I wanted, and I immediately declined to serve. We
+ girls then nominated the young man who had been first choice of our
+ brother society, but he haughtily refused to accept the compliment. The
+ reunion was only a fortnight away, and the programme had not been printed,
+ so now the president took the situation in hand and peremptorily ordered
+ me to accept the nomination or be suspended. This was a wholly unexpected
+ boomerang. I had wished to make a good fight for equal rights for the
+ girls, and to impress the boys with the fact of our existence as a
+ society; but I had not desired to set the entire student body by the ears
+ nor to be forced to prepare and deliver an oration at the eleventh hour.
+ Moreover, I had no suitable gown to wear on so important an occasion. One
+ of my classmates, however, secretly wrote to my sister, describing my
+ blushing honors and explaining my need, and my family rallied to the call.
+ My father bought the material, and my mother and Mary paid for the making
+ of the gown. It was a white alpaca creation, trimmed with satin, and the
+ consciousness that it was extremely becoming sustained me greatly during
+ the mental agony of preparing and delivering my oration. To my family that
+ oration was the redeeming episode of my early career. For the moment it
+ almost made them forget my crime of preaching.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My original fund of eighteen dollars was now supplemented by the proceeds
+ of a series of lectures I gave on temperance. The temperance women were
+ not yet organized, but they had their speakers, and I was occasionally
+ paid five dollars to hold forth for an hour or two in the little country
+ school-houses of our region. As a licensed preacher I had no tuition fees
+ to pay at college; but my board, in the home of the president and his
+ wife, was costing me four dollars a week, and this was the limit of my
+ expenses, as I did my own laundry-work. During my first college year the
+ amount I paid for amusement was exactly fifty cents; that went for a
+ lecture. The mental strain of the whole experience was rather severe, for
+ I never knew how much I would be able to earn; and I was beginning to feel
+ the effects of this when Christmas came and brought with it a gift of
+ ninety-two dollars, which Miss Foot had collected among my Big Rapids
+ friends. That, with what I could earn, carried me through the year.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The following spring our brother James, who was now living in St.
+ Johnsbury, Vermont, invited my sister Mary and me to spend the summer with
+ him, and Mary and I finally dug a grave for our little hatchet and went
+ East together with something of our old-time joy in each other's society.
+ We reached St. Johnsbury one Saturday, and within an hour of our arrival
+ learned that my brother had arranged for me to preach in a local church
+ the following day. That threatened to spoil the visit for Mary and even to
+ disinter the hatchet! At first she positively refused to go to hear me,
+ but after a few hours of reflection she announced gloomily that if she did
+ not go I would not have my hair arranged properly or get my hat on
+ straight. Moved by this conviction, she joined the family parade to the
+ church, and later, in the sacristy, she pulled me about and pinned me up
+ to her heart's content. Then, reluctantly, she went into the church and
+ heard me preach. She offered no tributes after our return to the house,
+ but her protests ceased from that time, and we gave each other the love
+ and understanding which had marked our girlhood days. The change made me
+ very happy; for Mary was the salt of the earth, and next only to my
+ longing for my mother, I had longed for her in the years of our
+ estrangement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Every Sunday that summer I preached in or near St. Johnsbury, and toward
+ autumn we had a big meeting which the ministers of all the surrounding
+ churches attended. I was asked to preach the sermon&mdash;a high
+ compliment&mdash;and I chose that important day to make a mistake in
+ quoting a passage from Scripture. I asked, "Can the Ethiopian change his
+ spots or the leopard his skin?" I realized at once that I had transposed
+ the words, and no doubt a look of horror dawned in my eyes; but I went on
+ without correcting myself and without the slightest pause. Later, one of
+ the ministers congratulated me on this presence of mind.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "If you had corrected yourself," he said, "all the young people would have
+ been giggling yet over the spotted nigger. Keep to your rule of going
+ right ahead!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the end of the summer the various churches in which I had preached gave
+ me a beautiful gold watch and one hundred dollars in money, and with an
+ exceedingly light heart I went back to college to begin my second year of
+ work.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From that time life was less complex. I had enough temperance-work and
+ preaching in the country school-houses and churches to pay my college
+ expenses, and, now that my financial anxieties were relieved, my health
+ steadily improved. Several times I preached to the Indians, and these
+ occasions were among the most interesting of my experiences. The squaws
+ invariably brought their babies with them, but they had a simple and
+ effective method of relieving themselves of the care of the infants as
+ soon as they reached the church. The papooses, who were strapped to their
+ boards, were hung like a garment on the back wall of the building by a
+ hole in the top of the board, which projected above their heads. Each
+ papoose usually had a bit of fat pork tied to the end of a string fastened
+ to its wrist, and with these sources of nourishment the infants occupied
+ themselves pleasantly while the sermon was in progress. Frequently the
+ pork slipped down the throat of the papoose, but the struggle of the child
+ and the jerking of its hands in the strangulation that followed pulled the
+ piece safely out again. As I faced the congregation I also faced the
+ papooses, to whom the indifferent backs of their mothers were presented;
+ it seemed to me there was never a time when some papoose was not choking,
+ but no matter how much excitement or discomfort was going on among the
+ babies, not one squaw turned her head to look back at them. In that
+ assemblage the emotions were not allowed to interrupt the calm
+ intellectual enjoyment of the sermon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My most dramatic experience during this period occurred in the summer of
+ 1874, when I went to a Northern lumber-camp to preach in the pulpit of a
+ minister who was away on his honeymoon. The stage took me within
+ twenty-two miles of my destination, to a place called Seberwing. To my
+ dismay, however, when I arrived at Seberwing, Saturday evening, I found
+ that the rest of the journey lay through a dense woods, and that I could
+ reach my pulpit in time the next morning only by having some one drive me
+ through the woods that night. It was not a pleasant prospect, for I had
+ heard appalling tales of the stockades in this region and of the women who
+ were kept prisoners there. But to miss the engagement was not to be
+ thought of, and when, after I had made several vain efforts to find a
+ driver, a man appeared in a two-seated wagon and offered to take me to my
+ destination, I felt that I had to go with him, though I did not like his
+ appearance. He was a huge, muscular person, with a protruding jaw and a
+ singularly evasive eye; but I reflected that his forbidding expression
+ might be due, in part at least, to the prospect of the long night drive
+ through the woods, to which possibly he objected as much as I did.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was already growing dark when we started, and within a few moments we
+ were out of the little settlement and entering the woods. With me I had a
+ revolver I had long since learned to use, but which I very rarely carried.
+ I had hesitated to bring it now&mdash;had even left home without it; and
+ then, impelled by some impulse I never afterward ceased to bless, had
+ returned for it and dropped it into my hand-bag.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I sat on the back seat of the wagon, directly behind the driver, and for a
+ time, as we entered the darkening woods, his great shoulders blotted out
+ all perspective as he drove on in stolid silence. Then, little by little,
+ they disappeared like a rapidly fading negative. The woods were filled
+ with Norway pines, hemlocks, spruce, and tamaracks-great, somber trees
+ that must have shut out the light even on the brightest days. To-night the
+ heavens held no lamps aloft to guide us, and soon the darkness folded
+ around us like a garment. I could see neither the driver nor his horses. I
+ could hear only the sibilant whisper of the trees and the creak of our
+ slow wheels in the rough forest road.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Suddenly the driver began to talk, and at first I was glad to hear the
+ reassuring human tones, for the experience had begun to seem like a bad
+ dream. I replied readily, and at once regretted that I had done so, for
+ the man's choice of topics was most unpleasant. He began to tell me
+ stories of the stockades&mdash;grim stories with horrible details,
+ repeated so fully and with such gusto that I soon realized he was
+ deliberately affronting my ears. I checked him and told him I could not
+ listen to such talk.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He replied with a series of oaths and shocking vulgarities, stopping his
+ horses that he might turn and fling the words into my face. He ended by
+ snarling that I must think him a fool to imagine he did not know the kind
+ of woman I was. What was I doing in that rough country, he demanded, and
+ why was I alone with him in those black woods at night?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Though my heart missed a beat just then, I tried to answer him calmly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You know perfectly well who I am," I reminded him. "And you understand
+ that I am making this journey to-night because I am to preach to-morrow
+ morning and there is no other way to keep my appointment."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He uttered a laugh which was a most unpleasant sound.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Well," he said, coolly, "I'm damned if I'll take you. I've got you here,
+ and I'm going to keep you here!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I slipped my hand into the satchel in my lap, and it touched my revolver.
+ No touch of human fingers ever brought such comfort. With a deep breath of
+ thanksgiving I drew it out and cocked it, and as I did so he recognized
+ the sudden click.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Here! What have you got there?" he snapped.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I have a revolver," I replied, as steadily as I could. "And it is cocked
+ and aimed straight at your back. Now drive on. If you stop again, or
+ speak, I'll shoot you."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For an instant or two he blustered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "By God," he cried, "you wouldn't dare."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Wouldn't I?" I asked. "Try me by speaking just once more."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Even as I spoke I felt my hair rise on my scalp with the horror of the
+ moment, which seemed worse than any nightmare a woman could experience.
+ But the man was conquered by the knowledge of the waiting, willing weapon
+ just behind him. He laid his whip savagely on the backs of his horses and
+ they responded with a leap that almost knocked me out of the wagon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The rest of the night was a black terror I shall never forget. He did not
+ speak again, nor stop, but I dared not relax my caution for an instant.
+ Hour after hour crawled toward day, and still I sat in the unpierced
+ darkness, the revolver ready. I knew he was inwardly raging, and that at
+ any instant he might make a sudden jump and try to get the revolver away
+ from me. I decided that at his slightest movement I must shoot. But dawn
+ came at last, and just as its bluish light touched the dark tips of the
+ pines we drove up to the log hotel in the settlement that was our
+ destination. Here my driver spoke.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Get down," he said, gruffly. "This is the place."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I sat still. Even yet I dared not trust him. Moreover, I was so stiff
+ after my vigil that I was not sure I could move.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You get down," I directed, "and wake up the landlord. Bring him out
+ here."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He sullenly obeyed and aroused the hotel-owner, and when the latter
+ appeared I climbed out of the wagon with some effort but without
+ explanation. That morning I preached in my friend's pulpit as I had
+ promised to do, and the rough building was packed to its doors with
+ lumbermen who had come in from the neighboring camp. Their appearance
+ caused great surprise, as they had never attended a service before. They
+ formed a most picturesque congregation, for they all wore brilliant
+ lumber-camp clothing&mdash;blue or red shirts with yellow scarfs twisted
+ around their waists, and gay-colored jackets and logging-caps. There were
+ forty or fifty of them, and when we took up our collection they responded
+ with much liberality and cheerful shouts to one another.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Put in fifty cents!" they yelled across the church. "Give her a dollar!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The collection was the largest that had been taken up in the history of
+ the settlement, but I soon learned that it was not the spiritual comfort I
+ offered which had appealed to the lumber-men. My driver of the night
+ before, who was one of their number, had told his pals of his experience,
+ and the whole camp had poured into town to see the woman minister who
+ carried a revolver.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Her sermon?" said one of them to my landlord, after the meeting. "Huh! I
+ dunno what she preached. But, say, don't make no mistake about one thing:
+ the little preacher has sure got grit!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ IV. THE WOLF AT THE DOOR
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ When I returned to Albion College in the autumn of 1875 I brought with me
+ a problem which tormented me during my waking hours and chattered on my
+ pillow at night. Should I devote two more years of my vanishing youth to
+ the completion of my college course, or, instead, go at once to Boston
+ University, enter upon my theological studies, take my degree, and be
+ about my Father's business?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was now twenty-seven years old, and I had been a licensed preacher for
+ three years. My reputation in the Northwest was growing, and by sermons
+ and lectures I could certainly earn enough to pay the expenses of the full
+ college course. On the other hand, Boston was a new world. There I would
+ be alone and practically penniless, and the opportunities for work might
+ be limited. Quite possibly in my final two years at Albion I could even
+ save enough money to make the experience in Boston less difficult, and the
+ clear common sense I had inherited from my mother reminded me that in this
+ course lay wisdom. Possibly it was some inheritance from my visionary
+ father which made me, at the end of three months, waive these sage
+ reflections, pack my few possessions, and start for Boston, where I
+ entered the theological school of the university in February, 1876.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was an instance of stepping off a solid plank and into space; and
+ though there is exhilaration in the sensation, as I discovered then and at
+ later crises in life when I did the same thing, there was also an amount
+ of subsequent discomfort for which even my lively imagination had not
+ prepared me. I went through some grim months in Boston&mdash;months during
+ which I learned what it was to go to bed cold and hungry, to wake up cold
+ and hungry, and to have no knowledge of how long these conditions might
+ continue. But not more than once or twice during the struggle there, and
+ then only for an hour or two in the physical and mental depression
+ attending malnutrition, did I regret coming. At that period of my life I
+ believed that the Lord had my small personal affairs very much on His
+ mind. If I starved and froze it was His test of my worthiness for the
+ ministry, and if He had really chosen me for one of His servants, He would
+ see me through. The faith that sustained me then has still a place in my
+ life, and existence without it would be an infinitely more dreary affair
+ than it is. But I admit that I now call upon the Lord less often and less
+ imperatively than I did before the stern years taught me my unimportance
+ in the great scheme of things.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My class at the theological school was composed of forty-two young men and
+ my unworthy self, and before I had been a member of it an hour I realized
+ that women theologians paid heavily for the privilege of being women. The
+ young men of my class who were licensed preachers were given free
+ accommodations in the dormitory, and their board, at a club formed for
+ their assistance, cost each of them only one dollar and twenty-five cents
+ a week. For me no such kindly provision was made. I was not allowed a
+ place in the dormitory, but instead was given two dollars a week to pay
+ the rent of a room outside. Neither was I admitted to the economical
+ comforts of the club, but fed myself according to my income, a plan which
+ worked admirably when there was an income, but left an obvious void when
+ there was not.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With characteristic optimism, however, I hired a little attic room on
+ Tremont Street and established myself therein. In lieu of a window the
+ room offered a pale skylight to the February storms, and there was neither
+ heat in it nor running water; but its possession gave me a pleasant sense
+ of proprietorship, and the whole experience seemed a high adventure. I at
+ once sought opportunities to preach and lecture, but these were even rarer
+ than firelight and food. In Albion I had been practically the only
+ licensed preacher available for substitute and special work. In Boston
+ University's three theological classes there were a hundred men, each
+ snatching eagerly at the slightest possibility of employment; and when,
+ despite this competition, I received and responded to an invitation to
+ preach, I never knew whether I was to be paid for my services in cash or
+ in compliments. If, by a happy chance, the compensation came in cash, the
+ amount was rarely more than five dollars, and never more than ten. There
+ was no help in sight from my family, whose early opposition to my career
+ as a minister had hotly flamed forth again when I started East. I lived,
+ therefore, on milk and crackers, and for weeks at a time my hunger was
+ never wholly satisfied. In my home in the wilderness I had often heard the
+ wolves prowling around our door at night. Now, in Boston, I heard them
+ even at high noon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There is a special and almost indescribable depression attending such
+ conditions. No one who has not experienced the combination of continued
+ cold, hunger, and loneliness in a great, strange, indifferent city can
+ realize how it undermines the victim's nerves and even tears at the moral
+ fiber. The self-humiliation I experienced was also intense. I had worked
+ my way in the Northwest; why could I not work my way in Boston? Was there,
+ perhaps, some lack in me and in my courage? Again and again these
+ questions rose in my mind and poisoned my self-confidence. The one comfort
+ I had in those black days was the knowledge that no one suspected the
+ depth of the abyss in which I dwelt. We were all struggling; to the
+ indifferent glance&mdash;and all glances were indifferent&mdash;my
+ struggle was no worse than that of my classmates whose rooms and frugal
+ meals were given them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After a few months of this existence I was almost ready to believe that
+ the Lord's work for me lay outside of the ministry, and while this fear
+ was gripping me a serious crisis came in my financial affairs. The day
+ dawned when I had not a cent, nor any prospect of earning one. My stock of
+ provisions consisted of a box of biscuit, and my courage was flowing from
+ me like blood from an opened vein. Then came one of the quick turns of the
+ wheel of chance which make for optimism. Late in the afternoon I was asked
+ to do a week of revival work with a minister in a local church, and when I
+ accepted his invitation I mentally resolved to let that week decide my
+ fate. My shoes had burst open at the sides; for lack of car-fare I had to
+ walk to and from the scene of my meetings, though I had barely strength
+ for the effort. If my week of work brought me enough to buy a pair of
+ cheap shoes and feed me for a few days I would, I decided, continue my
+ theological course. If it did not, I would give up the fight.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Never have I worked harder or better than during those seven days, when I
+ put into the effort not only my heart and soul, but the last flame of my
+ dying vitality, We had a rousing revival&mdash;one of the good old-time
+ affairs when the mourners' benches were constantly filled and the air
+ resounded with alleluias. The excitement and our success, mildly aided by
+ the box of biscuit, sustained me through the week, and not until the last
+ night did I realize how much of me had gone into this final desperate
+ charge of mine. Then, the service over and the people departed, I sank,
+ weak and trembling, into a chair, trying to pull myself together before
+ hearing my fate in the good-night words of the minister I had assisted.
+ When he came to me and began to compliment me on the work I had done, I
+ could not rise. I sat still and listened with downcast eyes, afraid to
+ lift them lest he read in them something of my need and panic in this
+ moment when my whole future seemed at stake.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At first his words rolled around the empty church as if they were trying
+ to get away from me, but at last I began to catch them. I was, it seemed,
+ a most desirable helper. It had been a privilege and a pleasure to be
+ associated with me. Beyond doubt, I would go far in my career. He heartily
+ wished that he could reward me adequately. I deserved fifty dollars.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My tired heart fluttered at this. Probably my empty stomach fluttered,
+ too; but in the next moment something seemed to catch my throat and stop
+ my breath. For it appeared that, notwithstanding the enthusiasm and the
+ spiritual uplift of the week, the collections had been very disappointing
+ and the expenses unusually heavy. He could not give me fifty dollars. He
+ could not give me anything at all. He thanked me warmly and wished me good
+ night.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I managed to answer him and to get to my feet, but that journey down the
+ aisle from my chair to the church door was the longest journey I have ever
+ made. During it I felt not only the heart-sick disappointment of the
+ moment, but the cumulative unhappiness of the years to come. I was
+ friendless, penniless, and starving, but it was not of these conditions
+ that I thought then. The one overwhelming fact was that I had been weighed
+ and found wanting. I was not worthy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I stumbled along, passing blindly a woman who stood on the street near the
+ church entrance. She stopped me, timidly, and held out her hand. Then
+ suddenly she put her arms around me and wept. She was an old lady, and I
+ did not know her, but it seemed fitting that she should cry just then, as
+ it would have seemed fitting to me if at that black moment all the people
+ on the earth had broken into sudden wailing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh, Miss Shaw," she said, "I'm the happiest woman in the world, and I owe
+ my happiness to you. To-night you have converted my grandson. He's all I
+ have left, but he has been a wild boy, and I've prayed over him for years.
+ Hereafter he is going to lead a different life. He has just given me his
+ promise on his knees."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Her hand fumbled in her purse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I am a poor woman," she went on, "but I have enough, and I want to make
+ you a little present. I know how hard life is for you young students."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She pressed a bill into my fingers. "It's very little," she said, humbly;
+ "it is only five dollars."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I laughed, and in that exultant moment I seemed to hear life laughing with
+ me. With the passing of the bill from her hand to mine existence had
+ become a new experience, wonderful and beautiful.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It's the biggest gift I have ever had," I told her. "This little bill is
+ big enough to carry my future on its back!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I had a good meal that night, and I bought the shoes the next morning.
+ Infinitely more sustaining than the food, however, was the conviction that
+ the Lord was with me and had given me a sign of His approval. The
+ experience was the turning-point of my theological career. When the money
+ was gone I succeeded in obtaining more work from time to time&mdash;and
+ though the grind was still cruelly hard, I never again lost hope. The
+ theological school was on Bromfield Street, and we students climbed three
+ flights of stairs to reach our class-rooms. Through lack of proper food I
+ had become too weak to ascend these stairs without sitting down once or
+ twice to rest, and within a month after my experience with the
+ appreciative grandmother I was discovered during one of these resting
+ periods by Mrs. Barrett, the superintendent of the Woman's Foreign
+ Missionary Society, which had offices in our building. She stopped, looked
+ me over, and then invited me into her room, where she asked me if I felt
+ ill. I assured her that I did not. She asked a great many additional
+ questions and, little by little, under the womanly sympathy of them, my
+ reserve broke down and she finally got at the truth, which until that hour
+ I had succeeded in concealing. She let me leave without much comment, but
+ the next day she again invited me into her office and came directly to the
+ purpose of the interview.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Miss Shaw," she said, "I have been talking to a friend of mine about you,
+ and she would like to make a bargain with you. She thinks you are working
+ too hard. She will pay you three dollars and a half a week for the rest of
+ this school year if you will promise to give up your preaching. She wants
+ you to rest, study, and take care of your health."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I asked the name of my unknown friend, but Mrs. Barrett said that was to
+ remain a secret. She had been given a check for seventy-eight dollars, and
+ from this, she explained, my allowance would be paid in weekly
+ instalments. I took the money very gratefully, and a few years later I
+ returned the amount to the Missionary Society; but I never learned the
+ identity of my benefactor. Her three dollars and a half a week, added to
+ the weekly two dollars I was allowed for room rent, at once solved the
+ problem of living; and now that meal-hours had a meaning in my life, my
+ health improved and my horizon brightened. I spent most of my evenings in
+ study, and my Sundays in the churches of Phillips Brooks and James Freeman
+ Clark, my favorite ministers. Also, I joined the university's praying-band
+ of students, and took part in the missionary-work among the women of the
+ streets. I had never forgotten my early friend in Lawrence, the beautiful
+ "mysterious lady" who had loved me as a child, and, in memory of her, I
+ set earnestly about the effort to help unfortunates of her class. I went
+ into the homes of these women, followed them to the streets and the
+ dance-halls, talked to them, prayed with them, and made friends among
+ them. Some of them I was able to help, but many were beyond help; and I
+ soon learned that the effective work in that field is the work which is
+ done for women before, not after, they have fallen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During my vacation in the summer of 1876 I went to Cape Cod and earned my
+ expenses by substituting in local pulpits. Here, at East Dennis, I formed
+ the friendship which brought me at once the greatest happiness and the
+ deepest sorrow of that period of my life. My new friend was a widow whose
+ name was Persis Addy, and she was also the daughter of Captain Prince
+ Crowell, then the most prominent man in the Cape Cod community&mdash;a
+ bank president, a railroad director, and a citizen of wealth, as wealth
+ was rated in those days. When I returned to the theological school in the
+ autumn Mrs. Addy came to Boston with me, and from that time until her
+ death, two years later, we lived together. She was immensely interested in
+ my work, and the friendly part she took in it diverted her mind from the
+ bereavement over which she had brooded for years, while to me her coming
+ opened windows into a new world. I was no longer lonely; and though in my
+ life with her I paid my way to the extent of my small income, she gave me
+ my first experience of an existence in which comfort and culture,
+ recreation, and leisurely reading were cheerful commonplaces. For the
+ first time I had some one to come home to, some one to confide in, some
+ one to talk to, listen to, and love. We read together and went to concerts
+ together; and it was during this winter that I attended my first
+ theatrical performance. The star was Mary Anderson, in "Pygmalion and
+ Galatea," and play and player charmed me so utterly that I saw them every
+ night that week, sitting high in the gallery and enjoying to the utmost
+ the unfolding of this new delight. It was so glowing a pleasure that I
+ longed to make some return to the giver of it; but not until many years
+ afterward, when I met Madame Navarro in London, was I able to tell her
+ what the experience had been and to thank her for it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I did not long enjoy the glimpses into my new world, for soon, and most
+ tragically, it was closed to me. In the spring following our first Boston
+ winter together Mrs. Addy and I went to Hingham, Massachusetts, where I
+ had been appointed temporary pastor of the Methodist Church. There Mrs.
+ Addy was taken ill, and as she grew steadily worse we returned to Boston
+ to live near the best available physicians, who for months theorized over
+ her malady without being able to diagnose it. At last her father, Captain
+ Crowell, sent to Paris for Dr. Brown-Sequard, then the most distinguished
+ specialist of his day, and Dr. Brown-Sequard, when he arrived and examined
+ his patient, discovered that she had a tumor on the brain. She had had a
+ great shock in her life&mdash;the tragic death of her husband at sea
+ during their wedding tour around the world&mdash;and it was believed that
+ her disease dated from that time. Nothing could be done for her, and she
+ failed daily during our second year together, and died in March, 1878,
+ just before I finished my theological course and while I was still
+ temporary pastor of the church at Hingham. Every moment I could take from
+ my parish and my studies I spent with her, and those were sorrowful
+ months. In her poor, tortured brain the idea formed that I, not she, was
+ the sick person in our family of two, and when we were at home together
+ she insisted that I must lie down and let her nurse me; then for hours she
+ brooded over me, trying to relieve the agony she believed I was
+ experiencing. When at last she was at peace her father and I took her home
+ to Cape Cod and laid her in the graveyard of the little church where we
+ had met at the beginning of our brief and beautiful friendship; and the
+ subsequent loneliness I felt was far greater than any I had ever suffered
+ in the past, for now I had learned the meaning of companionship.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Three months after Mrs. Addy's death I graduated. She had planned to take
+ me abroad, and during our first winter together we had spent countless
+ hours talking and dreaming of our European wanderings. When she found that
+ she must die she made her will and left me fifteen hundred dollars for the
+ visit to Europe, insisting that I must carry out the plan we had made; and
+ during her conscious periods she constantly talked of this and made me
+ promise that I would go. After her death it seemed to me that to go
+ without her was impossible. Everything of beauty I looked upon would hold
+ memories of her, keeping fresh my sorrow and emphasizing my loneliness;
+ but it was her last expressed desire that I should go, and I went.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ First, however, I had graduated&mdash;clad in a brandnew black silk gown,
+ and with five dollars in my pocket, which I kept there during the
+ graduation exercises. I felt a special satisfaction in the possession of
+ that money, for, notwithstanding the handicap of being a woman, I was said
+ to be the only member of my class who had worked during the entire course,
+ graduated free from debt, and had a new outfit as well as a few dollars in
+ cash.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I graduated without any special honors. Possibly I might have won some if
+ I had made the effort, but my graduation year, as I have just explained,
+ had been very difficult. As it was, I was merely a good average student,
+ feeling my isolation as the only woman in my class, but certainly not
+ spurring on my men associates by the display of any brilliant gifts.
+ Naturally, I missed a great deal of class fellowship and class support,
+ and throughout my entire course I rarely entered my class-room without the
+ abysmal conviction that I was not really wanted there. But some of the men
+ were goodhumoredly cordial, and several of them are among my friends
+ to-day. Between myself and my family there still existed the breach I had
+ created when I began to preach. With the exception of Mary and James, my
+ people openly regarded me, during my theological course, as a dweller in
+ outer darkness, and even my mother's love was clouded by what she felt to
+ be my deliberate and persistent flouting of her wishes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Toward the end of my university experience, however, an incident occurred
+ which apparently changed my mother's viewpoint. She was now living with my
+ sister Mary, in Big Rapids, Michigan, and, on the occasion of one of my
+ rare and brief visits to them I was invited to preach in the local church.
+ Here, for the first time, my mother heard me. Dutifully escorted by one of
+ my brothers, she attended church that morning in a state of shivering
+ nervousness. I do not know what she expected me to do or say, but toward
+ the end of the sermon it became clear that I had not justified her fears.
+ The look of intense apprehension left her eyes, her features relaxed into
+ placidity, and later in the day she paid me the highest compliment I had
+ yet received from a member of my family.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I liked the sermon very much," she peacefully told my brother. "Anna
+ didn't say anything about hell, or about anything else!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When we laughed at this handsome tribute, she hastened to qualify it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "What I mean," she explained, "is that Anna didn't say anything
+ objectionable in the pulpit!" And with this recognition I was content.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Between the death of my friend and my departure for Europe I buried myself
+ in the work of the university and of my little church; and as if in answer
+ to the call of my need, Mary E. Livermore, who had given me the first
+ professional encouragement I had ever received, re-entered my life. Her
+ husband, like myself, was pastor of a church in Hingham, and whenever his
+ finances grew low, or there was need of a fund for some special purpose&mdash;conditions
+ that usually exist in a small church&mdash;his brilliant wife came to his
+ assistance and raised the money, while her husband retired modestly to the
+ background and regarded her with adoring eyes. On one of these occasions,
+ I remember, when she entered the pulpit to preach her sermon, she dropped
+ her bonnet and coat on an unoccupied chair. A little later there was need
+ of this chair, and Mr. Livermore, who sat under the pulpit, leaned
+ forward, picked up the garments, and, without the least trace of
+ selfconsciousness, held them in his lap throughout the sermon. One of the
+ members of the church, who appeared to be irritated by the incident, later
+ spoke of it to him and added, sardonically, "How does it feel to be merely
+ 'Mrs. Livermore's husband'?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In reply Mr. Livermore flashed on him one of his charming smiles. "Why,
+ I'm very proud of it," he said, with the utmost cheerfulness. "You see,
+ I'm the only man in the world who has that distinction."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They were a charming couple, the Livermores, and they deserved far more
+ than they received from a world to which they gave so freely and so
+ richly. To me, as to others, they were more than kind; and I never recall
+ them without a deep feeling of gratitude and an equally deep sense of loss
+ in their passing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was during this period, also, that I met Frances E. Willard. There was
+ a great Moody revival in progress in Boston, and Miss Willard was the
+ righthand assistant of Mr. Moody. To her that revival must have been
+ marked with a star, for during it she met for the first time Miss Anna
+ Gordon, who became her life-long friend and her biographer. The meetings
+ also laid the foundation of our friendship, and for many years Miss
+ Willard and I were closely associated in work and affection.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the second or third night of the revival, during one of the "mixed
+ meetings," attended by both women and men, Mr. Moody invited those who
+ were willing to talk to sinners to come to the front. I went down the
+ aisle with others, and found a seat near Miss Willard, to whom I was then
+ introduced by some one who knew us both. I wore my hair short in those
+ days, and I had a little fur cap on my head. Though I had been preaching
+ for several years, I looked absurdly young&mdash;far too young, it soon
+ became evident, to interest Mr. Moody. He was already moving about among
+ the men and women who had responded to his invitation, and one by one he
+ invited them to speak, passing me each time until at last I was left
+ alone. Then he took pity on me and came to my side to whisper kindly that
+ I had misunderstood his invitation. He did not want young girls to talk to
+ his people, he said, but mature women with worldly experience. He advised
+ me to go home to my mother, adding, to soften the blow, that some time in
+ the future when there were young girls at the meeting I could come and
+ talk to them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I made no explanations to him, but started to leave, and Miss Willard, who
+ saw me departing, followed and stopped me. She asked why I was going, and
+ I told her that Mr. Moody had sent me home to grow. Frances Willard had a
+ keen sense of humor, and she enjoyed the joke so thoroughly that she
+ finally convinced me it was amusing, though at first the humor of it had
+ escaped me. She took me back to Mr. Moody and explained the situation to
+ him, and he apologized and put me to work. He said he had thought I was
+ about sixteen. After that I occasionally helped him in the intervals of my
+ other work.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The time had come to follow Mrs. Addy's wishes and go to Europe, and I
+ sailed in the month of June following my graduation, and traveled for
+ three months with a party of tourists under the direction of Eben Tourgee,
+ of the Boston Conservatory of Music. We landed in Glasgow, and from there
+ went to England, Belgium, Holland, Germany, France, and last of all to
+ Italy. Our company included many clergymen and a never-to-be-forgotten
+ widow whose light-hearted attitude toward the memory of her departed
+ spouse furnished the comedy of our first voyage. It became a pet diversion
+ to ask her if her husband still lived, for she always answered the
+ question in the same mournful words, and with the same manner of
+ irrepressible gaiety.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh no!" she would chirp. "My dear departed has been in our Heavenly
+ Father's house for the past eight years!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At its best, the vacation without my friend was tragically incomplete, and
+ only a few of its incidents stand out with clearness across the forty-six
+ years that have passed since then. One morning, I remember, I preached an
+ impromptu sermon in the Castle of Heidelberg before a large gathering; and
+ a little later, in Genoa, I preached a very different sermon to a wholly
+ different congregation. There was a gospel-ship in the harbor, and one
+ Saturday the pastor of it came ashore to ask if some American clergyman in
+ our party would preach on his ship the next morning. He was an old-time,
+ orthodox Presbyterian, and from the tips of his broad-soled shoes to the
+ severe part in the hair above his sanctimonious brow he looked the type. I
+ was not present when he called at our hotel, and my absence gave my
+ fellow-clergymen an opportunity to play a joke on the gentleman from the
+ gospel-ship. They assured him that "Dr. Shaw" would preach for him, and
+ the pastor returned to his post greatly pleased. When they told me of his
+ invitation, however, they did not add that they had neglected to tell him
+ Dr. Shaw was a woman, and I was greatly elated by the compliment I thought
+ had been paid me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our entire party of thirty went out to the gospelship the next morning,
+ and when the pastor came to meet us, lank and forbidding, his austere lips
+ vainly trying to curve into a smile of welcome, they introduced me to him
+ as the minister who was to deliver the sermon. He had just taken my hand;
+ he dropped it as if it had burned his own. For a moment he had no words to
+ meet the crisis. Then he stuttered something to the effect that the
+ situation was impossible that his men would not listen to a woman, that
+ they would mob her, that it would be blasphemous for a woman to preach. My
+ associates, who had so light-heartedly let me in for this unpleasant
+ experience, now realized that they must see me through it. They persuaded
+ him to allow me to preach the sermon.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With deep reluctance the pastor finally accepted me and the situation; but
+ when the moment came to introduce me, he devoted most of his time to
+ heartfelt apologies for my presence. He explained to the sailors that I
+ was a woman, and fervidly assured them that he himself was not responsible
+ for my appearance there. With every word he uttered he put a brick in the
+ wall he was building between me and the crew, until at last I felt that I
+ could never get past it. I was very unhappy, very lonely, very homesick;
+ and suddenly the thought came to me that these men, notwithstanding their
+ sullen eyes and forbidding faces, might be lonely and homesick, too. I
+ decided to talk to them as a woman and not as a minister, and I came down
+ from the pulpit and faced them on their own level, looking them over and
+ mentally selecting the hardest specimens of the lot as the special objects
+ of my appeal. One old fellow, who looked like a pirate with his red-rimmed
+ eyes, weather-beaten skin, and fimbriated face, grinned up at me in such
+ sardonic challenge that I walked directly in front of him and began to
+ speak. I said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "My friends, I hope you will forget everything Dr. Blank has just said. It
+ is true that I am a minister, and that I came here to preach. But now I do
+ not intend to preach&mdash;only to have a friendly talk, on a text which
+ is not in the Bible. I am very far from home, and I feel as homesick as
+ some of you men look. So my text is, 'Blessed are the homesick, for they
+ shall go home.'"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In my summers at Cape Cod I had learned something about sailors. I knew
+ that in the inprepossessing congregation before me there were many boys
+ who had run away from home, and men who had left home because of family
+ troubles. I talked to the young men first, to those who had forgotten
+ their mothers and thought their mothers had forgotten them, and I told of
+ my experiences with waiting, heavy-hearted mothers who had sons at sea.
+ Some heads went down at that, and here and there I saw a boy gulp, but the
+ old fellow I was particularly anxious to move still grinned up at me like
+ a malicious monkey. Then I talked of the sailor's wife, and of her double
+ burden of homemaking and anxiety, and soon I could pick out some of the
+ husbands by their softened faces. But still my old man grinned and
+ squinted. Last of all I described the whalers who were absent from home
+ for years, and who came back to find their children and their
+ grandchildren waiting for them. I told how I had seen them, in our New
+ England coast towns, covered, as a ship is covered with barnacles, by
+ grandchildren who rode on their shoulders and sat astride of their necks
+ as they walked down the village streets. And now at last the sneer left my
+ old man's loose lips. He had grandchildren somewhere. He twisted uneasily
+ in his seat, coughed, and finally took out a big red handkerchief and
+ wiped his eyes. The episode encouraged me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "When I came here," I added, "I intended to preach a sermon on 'The
+ Heavenly Vision.' Now I want to give you a glimpse of that in addition to
+ the vision we have had of home."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I ended with a bit of the sermon and a prayer, and when I raised my head
+ the old man of the sardonic grin was standing before me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Missus," he said in a husky whisper, "I'd like to shake your hand."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I took his hard old fist, and then, seeing that many of the other sailors
+ were beginning to move hospitably but shyly toward me, I said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I would like to shake hands with every man here."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the words they surged forward, and the affair became a reception,
+ during which I shook hands with every sailor of my congregation. The next
+ day my hand was swollen out of shape, for the sailors had gripped it as if
+ they were hauling on a hawser; but the experience was worth the
+ discomfort. The best moment of the morning came, however, when the pastor
+ of the ship faced me, goggle-eyed and marveling.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I wouldn't have believed it," was all he could say. "I thought the men
+ would mob you."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why should they mob me?" I wanted to know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why," he stammered, "because the thing is so&mdash;so&mdash;unnatural."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Well," I said, "if it is unnatural for women to talk to men, we have been
+ living in an unnatural world for a long time. Moreover, if it is
+ unnatural, why did Jesus send a woman out as the first preacher?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He waived a discussion of that question by inviting us all to his cabin to
+ drink wine with him&mdash;and as we were "total abstainers," it seemed as
+ unnatural to us to have him offer us wine as a woman's preaching had
+ seemed to him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next European incident on which memory throws a high-light was our
+ audience with Pope Leo XIII. As there were several distinguished Americans
+ in our party, a private audience was arranged for us, and for days before
+ the time appointed we nervously rehearsed the etiquette of the occasion.
+ When we reached the Vatican we were marched between rows of Swiss Guards
+ to the Throne Room, only to learn there that we were to be received in the
+ Tapestry Room. Here we found a very impressive assemblage of cardinals and
+ Vatican officials, and while we were still lost in the beauty of the
+ picture they made against the room's superb background, the approach of
+ the Pope was announced. Every one immediately knelt, except a few persons
+ who tried to show their democracy by standing; but I am sure that even
+ these individuals felt a thrill when the slight, exquisite figure appeared
+ at the door and gave us a general benediction. Then the Pope passed slowly
+ down the line, offering his hand to each of us, and radiating a charm so
+ gracious and so human that few failed to respond to the appeal of his
+ engaging personality. There was nothing fleshly about Leo XIII. His body
+ was so frail, so wraithlike, that one almost expected to see through it
+ the magnificent tapestries on the walls. But from the moment he appeared
+ every eye clung to him, every thought was concentrated upon him. This
+ effect I think he would have produced even if he had come among us
+ unrecognized, for through the thin shell that housed it shone the steady
+ flame of a wonderful spirit.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I had previously remarked to my friends that kissing the Pope's ring after
+ so many other lips had touched it did not appeal to me as hygienic, and
+ that I intended to kiss his hand instead. When my opportunity came I kept
+ my word; but after I had kissed the venerable hand I remained kneeling for
+ an instant with bowed head, a little aghast at my daring. The gentle
+ Father thought, however, that I was waiting for a special blessing. He
+ gave it to me gravely and passed on, and I devoted the next few hours to
+ ungodly crowing over the associates who had received no such individual
+ attention.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Venice we attended the great fete celebrating the first visit of King
+ Humbert and Queen Margherita. It was also the first time Venice had
+ entertained a queen since the Italian union, and the sea-queen of the
+ Adriatic outdid herself in the gorgeousness and the beauty of her
+ preparations. The Grand Canal was like a flowing rainbow, reflecting the
+ brilliant decorations on every side, and at night the moonlight, the
+ music, the chiming church-bells, the colored lanterns, the gay voices, the
+ lapping waters against the sides of countless gondolas made the experience
+ seem like a dream of a new and unbelievably beautiful world. Forty
+ thousand persons were gathered in the Square of St. Mark and in front of
+ the Palace, and I recall a pretty incident in which the gracious Queen and
+ a little street urchin figured. The small, ragged boy had crept as close
+ to the royal balcony as he dared, and then, unobserved, had climbed up one
+ of its pillars. At the moment when a sudden hush had fallen on the crowd
+ this infant, overcome by patriotism and a glimpse of the royal lady on the
+ balcony above him, suddenly piped up shrilly in the silence. "Long live
+ the Queen!" he cried. "Long live the Queen!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The gracious Margherita heard the childish voice, and, amused and
+ interested, leaned over the balcony to see where it came from. What she
+ saw doubtless touched the mother-heart in her. She caught the eye of the
+ tattered urchin clinging to the pillar, and radiantly smiled on him. Then,
+ probably thinking that the King was absorbing the attention of the great
+ assemblage, she indulged in a little diversion. Leaning far forward, she
+ kissed the tip of her lace handkerchief and swept it caressingly across
+ the boy's brown cheek, smiling down at him as unconsciously as if she and
+ the enraptured youngster were alone together in the world. The next
+ instant she had straightened up and flushed, for the watchful crowd had
+ seen the episode and was wild with enthusiasm. For ten minutes the people
+ cheered the Queen without ceasing, and for the next few days they talked
+ of little but the spontaneous, girlish action which had delighted them
+ all.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One more sentimental record, and I shall have reached another mile-stone.
+ As I have said, my friend Mrs. Addy left me in her will fifteen hundred
+ dollars for my visit to Europe, and before I sailed her father, who was
+ one of the best friends I have ever had, made a characteristically kind
+ proposition in connection with the little fund. Instead of giving me the
+ money, he gave me two railroad bonds, one for one thousand dollars, the
+ other for five hundred dollars, and each drawing seven per cent. interest.
+ He suggested that I deposit these bonds in the bank of which he was
+ president, and borrow from the bank the money to go abroad. Then, when I
+ returned and went into my new parish, I could use some of my salary every
+ month toward repaying the loan. These monthly payments, he explained,
+ could be as small as I wished, but each month the interest on the amount I
+ paid would cease. I gladly took his advice and borrowed seven hundred
+ dollars. After I returned from Europe I repaid the loan in monthly
+ instalments, and eventually got my bonds, which I still own. They will
+ mature in 1916. I have had one hundred and five dollars a year from them,
+ in interest, ever since I received them in 1878&mdash;more than twice as
+ much interest as their face value&mdash;and every time I have gone abroad
+ I have used this interest toward paying my passage. Thus my friend has had
+ a share in each of the many visits I have made to Europe, and in all of
+ them her memory has been vividly with me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With my return from Europe my real career as a minister began. The year in
+ the pulpit at Hingham had been merely tentative, and though I had
+ succeeded in building up the church membership to four times what it had
+ been when I took charge, I was not reappointed. I had paid off a small
+ church debt, and had had the building repaired, painted, and carpeted. Now
+ that it was out of its difficulties it offered some advantages to the
+ occupant of its pulpit, and of these my successor, a man, received the
+ benefit. I, however, had small ground for complaint, for I was at once
+ offered and accepted the pastorate of a church at East Dennis, Cape Cod.
+ Here I went in October, 1878, and here I spent seven of the most
+ interesting years of my life.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ V. SHEPHERD OF A DIVIDED FLOCK
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ On my return from Europe, as I have said, I took up immediately and most
+ buoyantly the work of my new parish. My previous occupation of various
+ pulpits, whether long or short, had always been in the role of a
+ substitute. Now, for the first time, I had a church of my own, and was to
+ stand or fall by the record made in it. The ink was barely dry on my
+ diploma from the Boston Theological School, and, as it happened, the
+ little church to which I was called was in the hands of two warring
+ factions, whose battles furnished the most fervid interest of the Cape Cod
+ community. But my inexperience disturbed me not at all, and I was
+ blissfully ignorant of the division in the congregation. So I entered my
+ new field as trustfully as a child enters a garden; and though I was in
+ trouble from the beginning, and resigned three times in startling
+ succession, I ended by remaining seven years.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My appointment did not cause even a lull in the warfare among my
+ parishioners. Before I had crossed the threshold of my church I was made
+ to realize that I was shepherd of a divided flock. Exactly what had caused
+ the original breach I never learned; but it had widened with time, until
+ it seemed that no peacemaker could build a bridge large enough to span it.
+ As soon as I arrived in East Dennis each faction tried to pour into my
+ ears its bitter criticisms of the other, but I made and consistently
+ followed the safe rule of refusing to listen to either side, I announced
+ publicly that I would hear no verbal charges whatever, but that if my two
+ flocks would state their troubles in writing I would call a board meeting
+ to discuss and pass upon them. This they both resolutely refused to do (it
+ was apparently the first time they had ever agreed on any point); and as I
+ steadily declined to listen to complaints, they devised an original method
+ of putting them before me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During the regular Thursday-night prayer-meeting, held about two weeks
+ after my arrival, and at which, of course, I presided, they voiced their
+ difficulties in public prayer, loudly and urgently calling upon the Lord
+ to pardon such and such a liar, mentioning the gentleman by name, and such
+ and such a slanderer, whose name was also submitted. By the time the
+ prayers were ended there were few untarnished reputations in the
+ congregation, and I knew, perforce, what both sides had to say.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The following Thursday night they did the same thing, filling their
+ prayers with intimate and surprising details of one another's history, and
+ I endured the situation solely because I did not know how to meet it. I
+ was still young, and my theological course had set no guide-posts on roads
+ as new as these. To interfere with souls in their communion with God
+ seemed impossible; to let them continue to utter personal attacks in
+ church, under cover of prayer, was equally impossible. Any course I could
+ follow seemed to lead away from my new parish, yet both duty and pride
+ made prompt action necessary. By the time we gathered for the third
+ prayermeeting I had decided what to do, and before the services began I
+ rose and addressed my erring children. I explained that the character of
+ the prayers at our recent meetings was making us the laughingstock of the
+ community, that unbelievers were ridiculing our religion, and that the
+ discipline of the church was being wrecked; and I ended with these words,
+ each of which I had carefully weighed:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Now one of two things must happen. Either you will stop this kind of
+ praying, or you will remain away from our meetings. We will hold
+ prayermeetings on another night, and I shall refuse admission to any among
+ you who bring personal criticisms into your public prayers."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As I had expected it to do, the announcement created an immediate uproar.
+ Both factions sprang to their feet, trying to talk at once. The storm
+ raged until I dismissed the congregation, telling the members that their
+ conduct was an insult to the Lord, and that I would not listen to either
+ their protests or their prayers. They went unwillingly, but they went; and
+ the excitement the next day raised the sick from their beds to talk of it,
+ and swept the length and breadth of Cape Cod. The following Sunday the
+ little church held the largest attendance in its history. Seemingly, every
+ man and woman in town had come to hear what more I would say about the
+ trouble, but I ignored the whole matter. I preached the sermon I had
+ prepared, the subject of which was as remote from church quarrels as our
+ atmosphere was remote from peace, and my congregation dispersed with
+ expressions of such artless disappointment that it was all I could do to
+ preserve a dignified gravity.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That night, however, the war was brought into my camp. At the evening
+ meeting the leader of one of the factions rose to his feet with the
+ obvious purpose of starting trouble. He was a retired sea-captain, of the
+ ruthless type that knocks a man down with a belaying-pin, and he made his
+ attack on me in a characteristically "straight from the shoulder" fashion.
+ He began with the proposition that my morning sermon had been "entirely
+ contrary to the Scriptures," and for ten minutes he quoted and misquoted
+ me, hammering in his points. I let him go on without interruption. Then he
+ added:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "And this gal comes to this church and undertakes to tell us how we shall
+ pray. That's a highhanded measure, and I, for one, ain't goin' to stand
+ it. I want to say right here that I shall pray as I like, when I like, and
+ where I like. I have prayed in this heavenly way for fifty years before
+ that gal was born, and she can't dictate to me now!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By this time the whole congregation was aroused, and cries of "Sit down!"
+ "Sit down!" came from every side of the church. It was a hard moment, but
+ I was able to rise with some show of dignity. I was hurt through and
+ through, but my fighting blood was stirring.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," I said, "Captain Sears has the floor. Let him say now all he wishes
+ to say, for it is the last time he will ever speak at one of our
+ meetings."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Captain Sears, whose exertions had already made him apoplectic, turned a
+ darker purple. "What's that?" he shouted. "What d'ye mean?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I mean," I replied, "that I do not intend to allow you or anybody else to
+ interfere with my meetings. You are a sea-captain. What would you do to me
+ if I came on board your ship and started a mutiny in your crew, or tried
+ to give you orders?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Captain Sears did not reply. He stood still, with his legs far apart and
+ braced, as he always stood when talking, but his eyes shifted a little. I
+ answered my own question.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You would put me ashore or in irons," I reminded him. "Now, Captain
+ Sears, I intend to put you ashore. I am the master of this ship. I have
+ set my course, and I mean to follow it. If you rebel, either you will get
+ out or I will. But until the board asks for my resignation, I am in
+ command."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As it happened, I had put my ultimatum in the one form the old man could
+ understand. He sat down without a word and stared at me. We sang the
+ Doxology, and I dismissed the meeting. Again we had omitted prayers. The
+ next day Captain Sears sent me a letter recalling his subscription toward
+ the support of the church; and for weeks he remained away from our
+ services, returning under conditions I will mention later. Even at the
+ time, however, his attack helped rather than hurt me. At the regular
+ meeting the following Thursday night no personal criticisms were included
+ in the prayers, and eventually we had peace. But many battles were lost
+ and won before that happy day arrived.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Captain Sears's vacant place among us was promptly taken by another
+ captain in East Dennis, whose name was also Sears. A few days after my
+ encounter with the first captain I met the second on the street. He had
+ never come to church, and I stopped and invited him to do so. He replied
+ with simple candor.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I ain't comin'," he told me. "There ain't no gal that can teach me
+ nothin'."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Perhaps you are wrong, Captain Sears," I replied. "I might teach you
+ something."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "What?" demanded the captain, with chilling distrust.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh," I said, cheerfully, "let us say tolerance, for one thing."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Humph!" muttered the old man. "The Lord don't want none of your
+ tolerance, and neither do I."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I laughed. "He doesn't object to tolerance," I said. "Come to church. You
+ can talk, too; and the Lord will listen to us both."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To my surprise, the captain came the following Sunday, and during the
+ seven years I remained in the church he was one of my strongest supporters
+ and friends. I needed friends, for my second battle was not slow in
+ following my first. There was, indeed, barely time between in which to
+ care for the wounded.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We had in East Dennis what was known as the "Free Religious Group," and
+ when some of the members of my congregation were not wrangling among
+ themselves, they were usually locking horns with this group. For years, I
+ was told, one of the prime diversions of the "Free Religious" faction was
+ to have a dance in our town hall on the night when we were using it for
+ our annual church fair. The rules of the church positively prohibited
+ dancing, so the worldly group took peculiar pleasure in attending the
+ fair, and during the evening in getting up a dance and whirling about
+ among us, to the horror of our members. Then they spent the remainder of
+ the year boasting of the achievement. It came to my ears that they had
+ decided to follow this pleasing programme at our Christmas church
+ celebration, so I called the church trustees together and put the
+ situation to them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "We must either enforce our discipline," I said, "or give it up.
+ Personally I do not object to dancing, but, as the church has ruled
+ against it, I intend to uphold the church. To allow these people to make
+ us ridiculous year after year is impossible. Let us either tell them that
+ they may dance or that they may not dance; but whatever we tell them, let
+ us make them obey our ruling."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The trustees were shocked at the mere suggestion of letting them dance.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Very well," I ended. "Then they shall not dance. That is understood."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Captain Crowell, the father of my dead friend Mrs. Addy, and himself my
+ best man friend, was a strong supporter of the Free Religious Group. When
+ its members raced to him with the news that I had said they could not
+ dance at the church's Christmas party, Captain Crowell laughed
+ goodhumoredly and told them to dance as much as they pleased, cheerfully
+ adding that he would get them out of any trouble they got into. Knowing my
+ friendship for him, and that I even owed my church appointment to him, the
+ Free Religious people were certain that I would never take issue with him
+ on dancing or on any other point. They made all their preparations for the
+ dance, therefore, with entire confidence, and boasted that the affair
+ would be the gayest they had ever arranged. My people began to look at me
+ with sympathy, and for a time I felt very sorry for myself. It seemed
+ sufficiently clear that "the gal" was to have more trouble.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the night of the party things went badly from the first. There was an
+ evident intention among the worst of the Free Religious Group to embarrass
+ us at every turn. We opened the exercises with the Lord's Prayer, which
+ this element loudly applauded. A live kitten was hung high on the
+ Christmas tree, where it squalled mournfully beyond reach of rescue, and
+ the young men of the outside group threw cake at one another across the
+ hall. Finally tiring of these innocent diversions, they began to prepare
+ for their dance, and I protested. The spokesman of the group waved me to
+ one side.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Captain Crowell said we could," he remarked, airily.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Captain Crowell," I replied, "has no authority whatever in this matter.
+ The church trustees have decided that you cannot dance here, and I intend
+ to enforce their ruling."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was interesting to observe how rapidly the men of my congregation
+ disappeared from that hall. Like shadows they crept along the walls and
+ vanished through the doors. But the preparations for the dance went
+ merrily on. I walked to the middle of the room and raised my voice. I was
+ always listened to, for my hearers always had the hope, usually realized,
+ that I was about to get into more trouble.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You are determined to dance," I began. "I cannot keep you from doing so.
+ But I can and will make you regret that you have done so. The law of the
+ State of Massachusetts is very definite in regard to religious meetings
+ and religious gatherings. This hall was engaged and paid for by the
+ Wesleyan Methodist Church, of which I am pastor, and we have full control
+ of it to-night. Every man and woman who interrupts our exercises by
+ attempting to dance, or by creating a disturbance of any kind, will be
+ arrested to-morrow morning."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Surprise at first, then consternation, swept through the ranks of the Free
+ Religious Group. They denied the existence of such a law as I had
+ mentioned, and I promptly read it aloud to them. The leaders went off into
+ a corner and consulted. By this time not one man in my parish was left in
+ the hall. As a result of the consultation in the corner, a committee of
+ the would-be dancers came to me and suggested a compromise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Will you agree to arrest the men only?" they wanted to know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," I declared. "On the contrary, I shall have the women arrested first!
+ For the women ought to be standing with me now in the support of law and
+ order, instead of siding with the hoodlum element you represent."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That settled it. No girl or woman dared to go on the dancing-floor, and no
+ man cared to revolve merrily by himself. A whisper went round, however,
+ that the dance would begin when I had left. When the clock struck twelve,
+ at which hour, according to the town rule, the hall had to be closed, I
+ was the last person to leave it. Then I locked the door myself, and
+ carried the key away with me. There had been no Free Religious dance that
+ night.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the following Sunday morning the attendance at my church broke all
+ previous records. Every seat was occupied and every aisle was filled. Men
+ and women came from surrounding towns, and strange horses were tied to all
+ the fences in East Dennis. Every person in that church was looking for
+ excitement, and this time my congregation got what it expected. Before I
+ began my sermon I read my resignation, to take effect at the discretion of
+ the trustees. Then, as it was presumably my last chance to tell the people
+ and the place what I thought of them, I spent an hour and a half in
+ fervidly doing so. In my study of English I had acquired a fairly large
+ vocabulary. I think I used it all that morning&mdash;certainly I tried to.
+ If ever an erring congregation and community saw themselves as they really
+ were, mine did on that occasion. I was heartsick, discouraged, and full of
+ resentment and indignation, which until then had been pent up. Under the
+ arraignment my people writhed and squirmed. I ended:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "What I am saying hurts you, but in your hearts you know you deserve every
+ word of it. It is high time you saw yourselves as you are&mdash;a disgrace
+ to the religion you profess and to the community you live in."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was not sure the congregation would let me finish, but it did. My
+ hearers seemed torn by conflicting sentiments, in which anger and
+ curiosity led opposing sides. Many of them left the church in a white
+ fury, but others&mdash;more than I had expected&mdash;remained to speak to
+ me and assure me of their sympathy. Once on the streets, different groups
+ formed and mingled, and all day the little town rocked with arguments for
+ and against "the gal."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Night brought another surprisingly large attendance. I expected more
+ trouble, and I faced it with difficulty, for I was very tired. Just as I
+ took my place in the pulpit, Captain Sears entered the church and walked
+ down the aisle&mdash;the Captain Sears who had left us at my invitation
+ some weeks before and had not since attended a church service. I was sure
+ he was there to make another attack on me while I was down, and, expecting
+ the worst, I wearily gave him his opportunity. The big old fellow stood
+ up, braced himself on legs far apart, as if he were standing on a slippery
+ deck during a high sea, and gave the congregation its biggest surprise of
+ the year.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He said he had come to make a confession. He had been angry with "the gal"
+ in the past, as they all knew. But he had heard about the sermon she had
+ preached that morning, and this time she was right. It was high time
+ quarreling and backbiting were stopped. They had been going on too long,
+ and no good could come of them. Moreover, in all the years he had been a
+ member of that congregation he had never until now seen the pulpit
+ occupied by a minister with enough backbone to uphold the discipline of
+ the church. "I've come here to say I'm with the gal," he ended. "Put me
+ down for my original subscription and ten dollars extra!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ So we had the old man back again. He was a tower of strength, and he stood
+ by me faithfully until he died. The trustees would not accept my
+ resignation (indeed, they refused to consider it at all), and the
+ congregation, when it had thought things over, apparently decided that
+ there might be worse things in the pulpit than "the gal." It was even
+ known to brag of what it called my "spunk," and perhaps it was this
+ quality, rather than any other, which I most needed in that particular
+ parish at that time. As for me, when the fight was over I dropped it from
+ my mind, and it had not entered my thoughts for years, until I began to
+ summon these memories.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the end of my first six months in East Dennis I was asked to take on,
+ also, the temporary charge of the Congregational Church at Dennis, two
+ miles and a half away. I agreed to do this until a permanent pastor could
+ be found, on condition that I should preach at Dennis on Sunday
+ afternoons, using the same sermon I preached in my own pulpit in the
+ morning. The arrangement worked so well that it lasted for six and a half
+ years&mdash;until I resigned from my East Dennis church. During that
+ period, moreover, I not only carried the two churches on my shoulders,
+ holding three meetings each Sunday, but I entered upon and completed a
+ course in the Boston Medical School, winning my M.D. in 1885, and I also
+ lectured several times a month during the winter seasons. These were,
+ therefore, among the most strenuous as well as the most interesting years
+ of my existence, and I mention the strain of them only to prove my
+ life-long contention, that congenial work, no matter how much there is of
+ it, has never yet killed any one!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After my battle with the Free Religious Group things moved much more
+ smoothly in the parish. Captain Crowell, instead of resenting my defiance
+ of his ruling, helped to reconcile the divided factions in the church; and
+ though, as I have said, twice afterward I submitted my resignation, in
+ each case the fight I was making was for a cause which I firmly believed
+ in and eventually won. My second resignation was brought about by the
+ unwillingness of the church to have me exchange pulpits with the one
+ minister on Cape Cod broad-minded enough to invite me to preach in his
+ pulpit. I had done so, and had then sent him a return invitation. He was a
+ gentleman and a scholar, but he was also a Unitarian; and though my people
+ were willing to let me preach in his church, they were loath to let him
+ preach in mine. After a surprising amount of discussion my resignation put
+ a different aspect on the matter; it also led to the satisfactory ruling
+ that I could exchange pulpits not only with this minister, but with any
+ other in good standing in his own church.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My third resignation went before the trustees in consequence of my protest
+ from the pulpit against a small drinking and gambling saloon in East
+ Dennis; which was rapidly demoralizing our boys. Theoretically, only "soft
+ drinks" were sold, but the gambling was open, and the resort was
+ constantly filled with boys of all ages. There were influences back of
+ this place which tried to protect it, and its owner was very popular in
+ the town. After my first sermon I was waited upon by a committee, that
+ warmly advised me to "let East Dennis alone" and confine my criticisms "to
+ saloons in Boston and other big towns." As I had nothing to do with
+ Boston, and much to do with East Dennis, I preached on that place three
+ Sundays in succession, and feeling became so intense that I handed in my
+ resignation and prepared to depart. Then my friends rallied and the resort
+ was suppressed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That was my last big struggle. During the remaining five years of my
+ pastorate on Cape Cod the relations between my people and myself were
+ wholly harmonious and beautiful. If I have seemed to dwell too much on
+ these small victories, it must be remembered that I find in them such
+ comfort as I can. I have not yet won the great and vital fight of my life,
+ to which I have given myself, heart and soul, for the past thirty years&mdash;the
+ campaign for woman suffrage. I have seen victories here and there, and
+ shall see more. But when the ultimate triumph comes&mdash;when American
+ women in every state cast their ballots as naturally as their husbands do&mdash;I
+ may not be in this world to rejoice over it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is interesting to remember that during the strenuous period of the
+ first few months in East Dennis, and notwithstanding the division in the
+ congregation, we women of the church got together and repainted and
+ refurnished the building, raising all the money and doing much of the work
+ ourselves, as the expense of having it done was prohibitive. We painted
+ the church, and even cut down and modernized the pulpit. The total cost of
+ material and furniture was not half so great as the original estimate had
+ indicated, and we had learned a valuable lesson. After this we spent very
+ little money for labor, but did our own cleaning, carpet-laying, and the
+ like; and our little church, if I may be allowed to say so, was a model of
+ neatness and good taste.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I have said that at the end of two years from the time of my appointment
+ the long-continued warfare in the church was ended. I was not immediately
+ allowed, however, to bask in an atmosphere of harmony, for in October,
+ 1880, the celebrated contest over my ordination took place at the
+ Methodist Protestant Conference in Tarrytown, New York; and for three days
+ I was a storm-center around which a large number of truly good and wholly
+ sincere men fought the fight of their religious lives. Many of them
+ strongly believed that women were out of place in the ministry. I did not
+ blame them for this conviction. But I was in the ministry, and I was
+ greatly handicapped by the fact that, although I was a licensed preacher
+ and a graduate of the Boston Theological School, I could not, until I had
+ been regularly ordained, meet all the functions of my office. I could
+ perform the marriage service, but I could not baptize. I could bury the
+ dead, but I could not take members into my church. That had to be done by
+ the presiding elder or by some other minister. I could not administer the
+ sacraments. So at the New England Spring Conference of the Methodist
+ Episcopal Church, held in Boston in 1880, I formally applied for
+ ordination. At the same time application was made by another woman&mdash;Miss
+ Anna Oliver&mdash;and as a preliminary step we were both examined by the
+ Conference board, and were formally reported by that board as fitted for
+ ordination. Our names were therefore presented at the Conference, over
+ which Bishop Andrews presided, and he immediately refused to accept them.
+ Miss Oliver and I were sitting together in the gallery of the church when
+ the bishop announced his decision, and, while it staggered us, it did not
+ really surprise us. We had been warned of this gentleman's deep-seated
+ prejudice against women in the ministry.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After the services were over Miss Oliver and I called on him and asked him
+ what we should do. He told us calmly that there was nothing for us to do
+ but to get out of the Church. We reminded him of our years of study and
+ probation, and that I had been for two years in charge of two churches. He
+ set his thin lips and replied that there was no place for women in the
+ ministry, and, as he then evidently considered the interview ended, we
+ left him with heavy hearts. While we were walking slowly away, Miss Oliver
+ confided to me that she did not intend to leave the Church. Instead, she
+ told me, she would stay in and fight the matter of her ordination to a
+ finish. I, however, felt differently. I had done considerable fighting
+ during the past two years, and my heart and soul were weary. I said: "I
+ shall get out, I am no better and no stronger than a man, and it is all a
+ man can do to fight the world, the flesh, and the devil, without fighting
+ his Church as well. I do not intend to fight my Church. But I am called to
+ preach the gospel; and if I cannot preach it in my own Church, I will
+ certainly preach it in some other Church!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As if in response to this outburst, a young minister named Mark Trafton
+ soon called to see me. He had been present at our Conference, he had seen
+ my Church refuse to ordain me, and he had come to suggest that I apply for
+ ordination in his Church&mdash;the Methodist Protestant. To leave my
+ Church, even though urged to do so by its appointed spokesman, seemed a
+ radical step. Before taking this I appealed from the decision of the
+ Conference to the General Conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church,
+ which held its session that year in Cincinnati, Ohio. Miss Oliver also
+ appealed, and again we were both refused ordination, the General
+ Conference voting to sustain Bishop Andrews in his decision. Not content
+ with this achievement, the Conference even took a backward step. It
+ deprived us of the right to be licensed as local preachers. After this
+ blow I recalled with gratitude the Reverend Mark Trafton's excellent
+ advice, and I immediately applied for ordination in the Methodist
+ Protestant Church. My name was presented at the Conference held in
+ Tarrytown in October, 1880, and the fight was on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During these Conferences it is customary for each candidate to retire
+ while the discussion of his individual fitness for ordination is in
+ progress. When my name came up I was asked, as my predecessors had been,
+ to leave the room for a few moments. I went into an anteroom and waited&mdash;a
+ half-hour, an hour, all afternoon, all evening, and still the battle
+ raged. I varied the monotony of sitting in the anteroom by strolls around
+ Tarrytown, and I think I learned to know its every stone and turn. The
+ next day passed in the same way. At last, late on Saturday night, it was
+ suddenly announced by my opponents that I was not even a member of the
+ Church in which I had applied for ordination. The statement created
+ consternation among my friends. None of us had thought of that! The bomb,
+ timed to explode at the very end of the session, threatened to destroy all
+ my hopes. Of course, my opponents had reasoned, it would be too late for
+ me to do anything, and my name would be dropped.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But it was not too late. Dr. Lyman Davis, the pastor of the Methodist
+ Protestant Church in Tarrytown, was very friendly toward me and my
+ ordination, and he proved his friendship in a singularly prompt and
+ efficient fashion. Late as it was, he immediately called together the
+ trustees of his church, and they responded. To them I made my application
+ for church membership, which they accepted within five minutes. I was now
+ a member of the Church, but it was too late to obtain any further action
+ from the Conference. The next day, Sunday, all the men who had applied for
+ ordination were ordained, and I was left out.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On Monday morning, however, when the Conference met in its final business
+ session, my case was reopened, and I was eventually called before the
+ members to answer questions. Some of these were extremely interesting, and
+ several of the episodes that occurred were very amusing. One old gentleman
+ I can see as I write. He was greatly excited, and he led the opposition by
+ racing up and down the aisles, quoting from the Scriptures to prove his
+ case against women ministers. As he ran about he had a trick of putting
+ his arms under the back of his coat, making his coat-tails stand out like
+ wings and incidentally revealing two long white tapestrings belonging to a
+ flannel undergarment. Even in the painful stress of those hours I observed
+ with interest how beautifully those tape-strings were ironed!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was there to answer any questions that were asked of me, and the
+ questions came like hailstones in a sudden summer storm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Paul said, 'Wives, obey your husbands,'" shouted my old man of the
+ coat-tails. "Suppose your husband should refuse to allow you to preach?
+ What then?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "In the first place," I answered, "Paul did not say so, according to the
+ Scriptures. But even if he did, it would not concern me, for I am a
+ spinster."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The old man looked me over. "You might marry some day," he predicted,
+ cautiously.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Possibly," I admitted. "Wiser women than I am have married. But it is
+ equally possible that I might marry a man who would command me to preach;
+ and in that case I want to be all ready to obey him."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At this another man, a bachelor, also began to draw from the Scriptures.
+ "An elder," he quoted, "shall be the husband of one wife." And he
+ demanded, triumphantly, "How is it possible for you to be the husband of a
+ wife?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In response to that I quoted a bit myself. "Paul said, 'Anathema unto him
+ who addeth to or taketh from the Scriptures,'" I reminded this gentleman;
+ and added that a twisted interpretation of the Scriptures was as bad as
+ adding to or taking from them, and that no one doubted that Paul was
+ warning the elders against polygamy. Then I went a bit further, for by
+ this time the absurd character of the questions was getting on my nerves.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Even if my good brother's interpretation is correct," I said, "he has
+ overlooked two important points. Though he is an elder, he is also a
+ bachelor; so I am as much of a husband as he is!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A good deal of that sort of thing went on. The most satisfactory episode
+ of the session, to me, was the downfall of three pert young men who in
+ turn tried to make it appear that as the duty of the Conference was to
+ provide churches for all its pastors, I might become a burden to the
+ Church if it proved impossible to provide a pastorate for me. At that, one
+ of my friends in the council rose to his feet.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I have had official occasion to examine into the matter of Miss Shaw's
+ parish and salary," he said, "and I know what salaries the last three
+ speakers are drawing. It may interest the Conference to know that Miss
+ Shaw's present salary equals the combined salaries of the three young men
+ who are so afraid she will be a burden to the Church. If, before being
+ ordained, she can earn three times as much as they now earn after being
+ ordained, it seems fairly clear that they will never have to support her.
+ We can only hope that she will never have to support them."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The three young ministers subsided into their seats with painful
+ abruptness, and from that time my opponents were more careful in their
+ remarks. Still, many unpleasant things were said, and too much warmth was
+ shown by both sides. We gained ground through the day, however, and at the
+ end of the session the Conference, by a large majority, voted to ordain
+ me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The ordination service was fixed for the following evening, and even the
+ gentlemen who had most vigorously opposed me were not averse to making the
+ occasion a profitable one. The contention had already enormously
+ advertised the Conference, and the members now helped the good work along
+ by sending forth widespread announcements of the result. They also decided
+ that, as the attendance at the service would be very large, they would
+ take up a collection for the support of superannuated ministers. The three
+ young men who had feared I would become a burden were especially active in
+ the matter of this collection; and, as they had no sense of humor, it did
+ not seem incongruous to them to use my ordination as a means of raising
+ money for men who had already become burdens to the Church.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the great night came (on October 12, 1880), the expected crowd came
+ also. And to the credit of my opponents I must add that, having lost their
+ fight, they took their defeat in good part and gracefully assisted in the
+ services. Sitting in one of the front pews was Mrs. Stiles, the wife of
+ Dr. Stiles, who was superintendent of the Conference. She was a dear
+ little old lady of seventy, with a big, maternal heart; and when she saw
+ me rise to walk up the aisle alone, she immediately rose, too, came to my
+ side, offered me her arm, and led me to the altar.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The ordination service was very impressive and beautiful. Its peace and
+ dignity, following the battle that had raged for days, moved me so deeply
+ that I was nearly overcome. Indeed, I was on the verge of a breakdown when
+ I was mercifully saved by the clause in the discipline calling for the
+ pledge all ministers had to make&mdash;that I would not indulge in the use
+ of tobacco. When this vow fell from my lips a perceptible ripple ran over
+ the congregation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was homesick for my Cape Cod parish, and I returned to East Dennis
+ immediately after my ordination, arriving there on Saturday night. I knew
+ by the suppressed excitement of my friends that some surprise awaited me,
+ but I did not learn what it was until I entered my dear little church the
+ following morning. There I found the communion-table set forth with a
+ beautiful new communion-service. This had been purchased during my
+ absence, that I might dedicate it that day and for the first time
+ administer the sacrament to my people.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ VI. CAPE COD MEMORIES
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ Looking back now upon those days, I see my Cape Cod friends as clearly as
+ if the intervening years had been wiped out and we were again together.
+ Among those I most loved were two widely differing types&mdash;Captain
+ Doane, a retired sea-captain, and Relief Paine, an invalid chained to her
+ couch, but whose beautiful influence permeated the community like an
+ atmosphere. Captain Doane was one of the finest men I have ever known&mdash;highminded,
+ tolerant, sympathetic, and full of understanding, He was not only my
+ friend, but my church barometer. He occupied a front pew, close to the
+ pulpit; and when I was preaching without making much appeal he sat looking
+ me straight in the face, listening courteously, but without interest. When
+ I got into my subject, he would lean forward&mdash;the angle at which he
+ sat indicating the degree of attention I had aroused&mdash;and when I was
+ strongly holding my congregation Brother Doane would bend toward me,
+ following every word I uttered with corresponding motions of his lips.
+ When I resigned we parted with deep regret, but it was not until I visited
+ the church several years afterward that he overcame his reserve enough to
+ tell me how much he had felt my going.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh, did you?" I asked, greatly touched. "You're not saying that merely to
+ please me?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The old man's hand fell on my shoulder. "I miss you," he said, simply. "I
+ miss you all the time. You see, I love you." Then, with precipitate
+ selfconsciousness, he closed the door of his New England heart, and from
+ some remote corner of it sent out his cautious after-thought. "I love
+ you," he repeated, primly, "as a sister in the Lord."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Relief Paine lived in Brewster. Her name seemed prophetic, and she once
+ told me that she had always considered it so. Her brother-in-law was my
+ Sunday-school superintendent, and her family belonged to my church. Very
+ soon after my arrival in East Dennis I went to see her, and found her, as
+ she always was, dressed in white and lying on a tiny white bed covered
+ with pansies, in a room whose windows overlooked the sea. I shall never
+ forget the picture she made. Over her shoulders was an exquisite white
+ lace shawl brought from the other side of the world by some seafaring
+ friend, and against her white pillow her hair seemed the blackest I had
+ ever seen. When I entered she turned and looked toward me with wonderful
+ dark eyes that were quite blind, and as she talked her hands played with
+ the pansies around her. She loved pansies as she loved few human beings,
+ and she knew their colors by touching them. She was then a little more
+ than thirty years of age. At sixteen she had fallen downstairs in the
+ dark, receiving an injury that paralyzed her, and for fifteen years she
+ had lain on one side, perfectly still, the Stella Maris of the Cape. All
+ who came to her, and they were many, went away the better for the visit,
+ and the mere mention of her name along the coast softened eyes that had
+ looked too bitterly on life.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Relief and I became close friends. I was greatly drawn to her, and deeply
+ moved by the tragedy of her situation, as well as by the beautiful spirit
+ with which she bore it. During my first visit I regaled her with stories
+ of the community and of my own experiences, and when I was leaving it
+ occurred to me that possibly I had been rather frivolous. So I said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I am coming to see you often, and when I come I want to do whatever will
+ interest you most. Shall I bring some books and read to you?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Relief smiled&mdash;the gay, mischievous little smile I was soon to know
+ so well, but which at first seemed out of place on the tragic mask of her
+ face.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No, don't read to me," she decided. "There are enough ready to do that.
+ Talk to me. Tell me about our life and our people here, as they strike
+ you." And she added, slowly: "You are a queer minister. You have not
+ offered to pray with me!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I feel," I told her, "more like asking you to pray for me."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Relief continued her analysis. "You have not told me that my affliction
+ was a visitation from God," she added; "that it was discipline and well
+ for me I had it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I don't believe it was from God," I said. "I don't believe God had
+ anything to do with it. And I rejoice that you have not let it wreck your
+ life."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She pressed my hand. "Thank you for saying that," she murmured. "If I
+ thought God did it I could not love Him, and if I did not love Him I could
+ not live. Please come and see me VERY often&mdash;and tell me stories!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After that I collected stories for Relief. One of those which most amused
+ her, I remember, was about my horse, and this encourages me to repeat it
+ here. In my life in East Dennis I did not occupy the lonely little
+ parsonage connected with my church, but instead boarded with a friend&mdash;a
+ widow named Crowell. (There seemed only two names in Cape Cod: Sears and
+ Crowell.) To keep in touch with my two churches, which were almost three
+ miles apart, it became necessary to have a horse. As Mrs. Crowell needed
+ one, too, we decided to buy the animal in partnership, and Miss Crowell,
+ the daughter of the widow, who knew no more about horses than I did,
+ undertook to lend me the support of her presence and advice during the
+ purchase. We did not care to have the entire community take a passionate
+ interest in the matter, as it would certainly have done if it had heard of
+ our intention; so my friend and I departed somewhat stealthily for a
+ neighboring town, where, we had heard, a very good horse was offered for
+ sale. We saw the animal and liked it; but before closing the bargain we
+ cannily asked the owner if the horse was perfectly sound, and if it was
+ gentle with women. He assured us that it was both sound and gentle with
+ women, and to prove the latter point he had his wife harness it to the
+ buggy and drive it around the stable-yard. The animal behaved beautifully.
+ After it had gone through its paces, Miss Crowell and I leaned confidingly
+ against its side, patting it and praising its beauty, and the horse seemed
+ to enjoy our attentions. We bought it then and there, drove it home, and
+ put it in our barn; and the next morning we hired a man in the
+ neighborhood to come over and take care of it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He arrived. Five minutes later a frightful racket broke out in the barn&mdash;sounds
+ of stamping, kicking, and plunging, mingled with loud shouts. We ran to
+ the scene of the trouble, and found our "hired man" rushing breathlessly
+ toward the house. When he was able to speak he informed us that we had "a
+ devil in there," pointing back to the barn, and that the new horse's legs
+ were in the air, all four of them at once, the minute he went near her. We
+ insisted that he must have frightened or hurt her, but, solemnly and with
+ anxious looks behind, he protested that he had not. Finally Miss Crowell
+ and I went into the barn, and received a dignified welcome from the new
+ horse, which seemed pleased by our visit. Together we harnessed her and,
+ without the least difficulty, drove her out into the yard. As soon as our
+ man took the reins, however, she reared, kicked, and smashed our brand-new
+ buggy. We changed the man and had the buggy repaired, but by the end of
+ the week the animal had smashed the buggy again. Then, with some natural
+ resentment, we made a second visit to the man from whom we had bought her,
+ and asked him why he had sold us such a horse.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He said he had told us the exact truth. The horse WAS sound and she WAS
+ extremely gentle with women, but&mdash;and this point he had seen no
+ reason to mention, as we had not asked about it&mdash;she would not let a
+ man come near her. He firmly refused to take her back, and we had to make
+ the best of the bargain. As it was impossible to take care of her
+ ourselves, I gave some thought to the problem she presented, and finally
+ devised a plan which worked very well. I hired a neighbor who was a small,
+ slight man to take care of her, and made him wear his wife's sunbonnet and
+ waterproof cloak whenever he approached the horse. The picture he
+ presented in these garments still stands out pleasantly against the
+ background of my Cape Cod memories. The horse, however, did not share our
+ appreciation of it. She was suspicious, and for a time she shied whenever
+ the man and his sunbonnet and cloak appeared; but we stood by until she
+ grew accustomed to them and him; and as he was both patient and gentle,
+ she finally allowed him to harness and unharness her. But no man could
+ drive her, and when I drove to church I was forced to hitch and unhitch
+ her myself. No one else could do it, though many a gallant and
+ subsequently resentful man attempted the feat.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On one occasion a man I greatly disliked, and who I had reason to know
+ disliked me, insisted that he could unhitch her, and started to do so,
+ notwithstanding my protests and explanations. At his approach she rose on
+ her hind-legs, and when he grasped her bridle she lifted him off his feet.
+ His expression as he hung in mid-air was an extraordinary mixture of
+ surprise and regret. The moment I touched her, however, she quieted down,
+ and when I got into the buggy and gathered up the reins she walked off
+ like a lamb, leaving the man staring after her with his eyes starting from
+ his head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The previous owner had called the horse Daisy, and we never changed the
+ name, though it always seemed sadly inappropriate. Time proved, however,
+ that there were advantages in the ownership of Daisy. No man would allow
+ his wife or daughter to drive behind her, and no one wanted to borrow her.
+ If she had been a different kind of animal she would have been used by the
+ whole community, We kept Daisy for seven years, and our acquaintance
+ ripened into a pleasant friendship.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another Cape Cod resident to whose memory I must offer tribute in these
+ pages was Polly Ann Sears&mdash;one of the dearest and best of my
+ parishioners. She had six sons, and when five had gone to sea she insisted
+ that the sixth must remain at home. In vain the boy begged her to let him
+ follow his brothers. She stood firm. The sea, she said, should not swallow
+ all her boys; she had given it five&mdash;she must keep one.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As it happened, the son she kept at home was the only one who was drowned.
+ He was caught in a fish-net and dragged under the waters of the bay near
+ his home; and when I went to see his mother to offer such comfort as I
+ could, she showed that she had learned the big lesson of the experience.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I tried to be a special Providence," she moaned, "and the one boy I kept
+ home was the only boy I lost. I ain't a-goin' to be a Providence no more."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The number of funerals on Cape Cod was tragically large. I was in great
+ demand on these occasions, and went all over the Cape, conducting funeral
+ services&mdash;which seemed to be the one thing people thought I could do&mdash;and
+ preaching funeral sermons. Besides the victims of the sea, many of the
+ residents who had drifted away were brought back to sleep their last sleep
+ within sound of the waves. Once I asked an old sea-captain why so many
+ Cape Cod men and women who had been gone for years asked to be buried near
+ their old homes, and his reply still lingers in my memory. He poked his
+ toe in the sand for a moment and then said, slowly:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Wal, I reckon it's because the Cape has such warm, comfortable sand to
+ lie down in."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ My friend Mrs. Addy lay in the Crowell family lot, and during my pastorate
+ at East Dennis I preached the funeral sermon of her father, and later of
+ her mother. Long after I had left Cape Cod I was frequently called back to
+ say the last words over the coffins of my old friends, and the saddest of
+ those journeys was the one I made in response to a telegram from the
+ mother of Relief Paine. When I had arrived and we stood together beside
+ the exquisite figure that seemed hardly more quiet in death than in life,
+ Mrs. Paine voiced in her few words the feeling of the whole community&mdash;"Where
+ shall we get our comfort and our inspiration, now that Relief is gone?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The funeral which took all my courage from me, however, was that of my
+ sister Mary. In its suddenness, Mary's death, in 1883, was as a
+ thunderbolt from the blue; for she had been in perfect health three days
+ before she passed away. I was still in charge of my two parishes in Cape
+ Cod, but, as it mercifully happened, before she was stricken I had started
+ West to visit Mary in her home at Big Rapids. When I arrived on the second
+ day of her illness, knowing nothing of it until I reached her, I found her
+ already past hope. Her disease was pneumonia, but she was conscious to the
+ end, and her greatest desire seemed to be to see me christen her little
+ daughter and her husband before she left them. This could not be realized,
+ for my brotherin-law was absent on business, and with all his haste in
+ returning did not reach his wife's side until after her death. As his one
+ thought then was to carry out her last wishes, I christened him and his
+ little girl just before the funeral; and during the ceremony we all
+ experienced a deep conviction that Mary knew and was content.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She had become a power in her community, and was so dearly loved that on
+ the day her body was borne to its last resting-place all the business
+ houses in Big Rapids were closed, and the streets were filled with men who
+ stood with bent, uncovered heads as the funeral procession went by. My
+ father and mother, also, to whom she had given a home after they left the
+ log-cabin where they had lived so long, had made many friends in their new
+ environment and were affectionately known throughout the whole region as
+ "Grandma and Grandpa Shaw."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I returned to East Dennis I brought my mother and Mary's three
+ children with me, and they remained throughout the spring and summer. I
+ had hoped that they would remain permanently, and had rented and furnished
+ a home for them with that end in view; but, though they enjoyed their
+ visit, the prospect of the bleak winters of Cape Cod disturbed my mother,
+ and they all returned to Big Rapids late in the autumn. Since entering
+ upon my parish work it had been possible for me to help my father and
+ mother financially; and from the time of Mary's death I had the privilege,
+ a very precious one, of seeing that they were well cared for and
+ contented. They were always appreciative, and as time passed they became
+ more reconciled to the career I had chosen, and which in former days had
+ filled them with such dire forebodings.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After I had been in East Dennis four years I began to feel that I was
+ getting into a rut. It seemed to me that all I could do in that particular
+ field had been done. My people wished me to remain, however, and so,
+ partly as an outlet for my surplus energy, but more especially because I
+ realized the splendid work women could do as physicians, I began to study
+ medicine. The trustees gave me permission to go to Boston on certain days
+ of each week, and we soon found that I could carry on my work as a medical
+ student without in the least neglecting my duty toward my parish.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I entered the Boston Medical School in 1882, and obtained my diploma as a
+ full-fledged physician in 1885. During this period I also began to lecture
+ for the Massachusetts Woman Suffrage Association, of which Lucy Stone was
+ president. Henry Blackwell was associated with her, and together they
+ developed in me a vital interest in the suffrage cause, which grew
+ steadily from that time until it became the dominating influence in my
+ life. I preached it in the pulpit, talked it to those I met outside of the
+ church, lectured on it whenever I had an opportunity, and carried it into
+ my medical work in the Boston slums when I was trying my prentice hand on
+ helpless pauper patients.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Here again, in my association with the women of the streets, I realized
+ the limitations of my work in the ministry and in medicine. As minister to
+ soul and body one could do little for these women. For such as them, one's
+ efforts must begin at the very foundation of the social structure. Laws
+ for them must be made and enforced, and some of those laws could only be
+ made and enforced by women. So many great avenues of life were opening up
+ before me that my Cape Cod environment seemed almost a prison where I was
+ held with tender force. I loved my people and they loved me&mdash;but the
+ big outer world was calling, and I could not close my ears to its summons.
+ The suffrage lectures helped to keep me contented, however, and I was
+ certainly busy enough to find happiness in my work.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was in Boston three nights a week, and during these nights subject to
+ sick calls at any hour. My favorite associates were Dr. Caroline Hastings,
+ our professor of anatomy, and little Dr. Mary Safford, a mite of a woman
+ with an indomitable soul. Dr. Safford was especially prominent in
+ philanthropic work in Massachusetts, and it was said of her that at any
+ hour of the day or night she could be found working in the slums of
+ Boston. I, too, could frequently be found there&mdash;often, no doubt, to
+ the disadvantage of my patients. I was quite famous in three Boston alleys&mdash;Maiden's
+ Lane, Fellows Court, and Andrews Court. It most fortunately happened that
+ I did not lose a case in those alleys, though I took all kinds, as I had
+ to treat a certain number of surgical and obstetrical cases in my course.
+ No doubt my patients and I had many narrow escapes of which we were
+ blissfully ignorant, but I remember two which for a long time afterward
+ continued to be features of my most troubled dreams.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The first was that of a big Irishman who had pneumonia. When I looked him
+ over I was as much frightened as he was. I had got as far as pneumonia in
+ my course, and I realized that here was a bad case of it. I knew what to
+ do. The patient must be carefully packed in towels wrung out of cold
+ water. When I called for towels I found that there was nothing in the
+ place but a dish-towel, which I washed with portentous gravity. The man
+ owned but one shirt, and, in deference to my visit, his wife had removed
+ that to wash it. I packed the patient in the dish-towel, wrapped him in a
+ piece of an old shawl, and left after instructing his wife to repeat the
+ process. When I reached home I remembered that the patient must be packed
+ "carefully," and I knew that his wife would do it carelessly. That meant
+ great risk to the man's life. My impulse was to rush back to him at once,
+ but this would never do. It would destroy all confidence in the doctor. I
+ walked the floor for three hours, and then casually strolled in upon my
+ patient, finding him, to my great relief, better than I had left him. As I
+ was leaving, a child rushed into the room, begging me to come to an upper
+ floor in the same building.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The baby's got the croup," she gasped, "an' he's chokin' to death."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We had not reached croup in our course, and I had no idea what to do, but
+ I valiantly accompanied the little girl. As we climbed the long flights of
+ stairs to the top floor I remembered a conversation I had overheard
+ between two medical students. One of them had said: "If the child is
+ strangling when it inhales, as if it were breathing through a sponge, then
+ give it spongia; but if it is strangling when it breathes out, give it
+ aconite."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I reached the baby I listened, but could not tell which way it was
+ strangling. However, I happened to have both medicines with me, so I
+ called for two glasses and mixed the two remedies, each in its own glass.
+ I gave them both to the mother, and told her to use them alternately,
+ every fifteen minutes, until the baby was better. The baby got well; but
+ whether its recovery was due to the spongia or to the aconite I never
+ knew.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In my senior year I fell in love with an infant of three, named Patsy. He
+ was one of nine children when I was called to deliver his mother of her
+ tenth child. She was drunk when I reached her, and so were two men who lay
+ on the floor in the same room. I had them carried out, and after the
+ mother and baby had been attended to I noticed Patsy. He was the most
+ beautiful child I had ever seen&mdash;with eyes like Italian skies and
+ yellow hair in tight curls over his adorable little head; but he was
+ covered with filthy rags. I borrowed him, took him home with me, and fed
+ and bathed him, and the next day fitted him out with new clothes. Every
+ hour I had him tightened his hold on my heart-strings. I went to his
+ mother and begged her to let me keep him, but she refused, and after a
+ great deal of argument and entreaty I had to return him to her. When I
+ went to see him a few days later I found him again in his horrible rags.
+ His mother had pawned his new clothes for drink, and she was deeply under
+ its influence. But no pressure I could exert then or later would make her
+ part with Patsy. Finally, for my own peace of mind, I had to give up hope
+ of getting him&mdash;but I have never ceased to regret the little adopted
+ son I might have had.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ VII. THE GREAT CAUSE
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ There is a theory that every seven years each human being undergoes a
+ complete physical reconstruction, with corresponding changes in his mental
+ and spiritual make-up. Possibly it was due to this reconstruction that, at
+ the end of seven years on Cape Cod, my soul sent forth a sudden call to
+ arms. I was, it reminded me, taking life too easily; I was in danger of
+ settling into an agreeable routine. The work of my two churches made
+ little drain on my superabundant vitality, and not even the winning of a
+ medical degree and the increasing demands of my activities on the lecture
+ platform wholly eased my conscience. I was happy, for I loved my people
+ and they seemed to love me. It would have been pleasant to go on almost
+ indefinitely, living the life of a country minister and telling myself
+ that what I could give to my flock made such a life worth while.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But all the time, deep in my heart, I realized the needs of the outside
+ world, and heard its prayer for workers. My theological and medical
+ courses in Boston, with the experiences that accompanied them, had greatly
+ widened my horizon. Moreover, at my invitation, many of the noble women of
+ the day were coming to East Dennis to lecture, bringing with them the
+ stirring atmosphere of the conflicts they were waging. One of the first of
+ these was my friend Mary A. Livermore; and after her came Julia Ward Howe,
+ Anna Garlin Spencer, Lucy Stone, Mary F. Eastman, and many others, each
+ charged with inspiration for my people and with a special message for me,
+ which she sent forth unknowingly and which I alone heard. They were
+ fighting great battles, these women&mdash;for suffrage, for temperance,
+ for social purity&mdash;and in every word they uttered I heard a
+ rallying-cry. So it was that, in 1885, I suddenly pulled myself up to a
+ radical decision and sent my resignation to the trustees of the two
+ churches whose pastor I had been since 1878.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The action caused a demonstration of regret which made it hard to keep to
+ my resolution and leave these men and women whose friendship was among the
+ dearest of my possessions. But when we had all talked things over, many of
+ them saw the situation as I did. No doubt there were those, too, who felt
+ that a change of ministry would be good for the churches. During the weeks
+ that followed my resignation I received many odd tributes, and of these
+ one of the most amusing came from a young girl in the parish, who broke
+ into loud protests when she heard that I was going away. To comfort her I
+ predicted that she would now have a man minister&mdash;doubtless a very
+ nice man. But the young person continued to sniffle disconsolately.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I don't want a man," she wailed. "I don't like to see men in pulpits.
+ They look so awkward." Her grief culminated in a final outburst. "They're
+ all arms and legs!" she sobbed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When my resignation was finally accepted, and the time of my departure
+ drew near, the men of the community spent much of their leisure in
+ discussing it and me. The social center of East Dennis was a certain
+ grocery, to which almost every man in town regularly wended his way, and
+ from which all the gossip of the town emanated. Here the men sat for
+ hours, tilted back in their chairs, whittling the rungs until they nearly
+ cut the chairs from under them, and telling one another all they knew or
+ had heard about their fellow-townsmen. Then, after each session, they
+ would return home and repeat the gossip to their wives. I used to say that
+ I would give a dollar to any woman in East Dennis who could quote a bit of
+ gossip which did not come from the men at that grocery. Even my old friend
+ Captain Doane, fine and high-minded citizen though he was, was not above
+ enjoying the mild diversion of these social gatherings, and on one
+ occasion at least he furnished the best part of the entertainment. The
+ departing minister was, it seemed, the topic of the day's discussion, and,
+ to tease Captain Doane one young man who knew the strength of his
+ friendship for me suddenly began to speak, then pursed up his lips and
+ looked eloquently mysterious. As he had expected, Captain Doane
+ immediately pounced on him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "What's the matter with you?" demanded the old man. "Hev you got anything
+ agin Miss Shaw?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The young man sighed and murmured that if he wished he could repeat a
+ charge never before made against a Cape Cod minister, but&mdash;and he
+ shut his lips more obviously. The other men, who were in the plot,
+ grinned, and this added the last touch to Captain Doane's indignation. He
+ sprang to his feet. One of his peculiarities was a constant misuse of
+ words, and now, in his excitement, he outdid himself.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You've made an incineration against Miss Shaw," he shouted. "Do you hear&mdash;AN
+ INCINERATION! Take it back or take a lickin'!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The young man decided that the joke had gone far enough, so he answered,
+ mildly: "Well, it is said that all the women in town are in love with Miss
+ Shaw. Has that been charged against any other minister here?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The men roared with laughter, and Captain Doane sat down, looking
+ sheepish.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "All I got to say is this," he muttered: "That gal has been in this
+ community for seven years, and she 'ain't done a thing during the hull
+ seven years that any one kin lay a finger on!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The men shouted again at this back-handed tribute, and the old fellow left
+ the grocery in a huff. Later I was told of the "incineration" and his
+ eloquent defense of me, and I thanked him for it. But I added:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I hear you said I haven't done a thing in seven years that any one can
+ lay a finger on?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I said it," declared the Captain, "and I'll stand by it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Haven't I done any good?" I asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Sartin you have," he assured me, heartily. "Lots of good."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Well," I said, "can't you put your finger on that?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Captain looked startled. "Why&mdash;why&mdash;Sister Shaw," he
+ stammered, "you know I didn't mean THAT! What I meant," he repeated,
+ slowly and solemnly, "was that the hull time you been here you ain't done
+ nothin' anybody could put a finger on!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Captain Doane apparently shared my girl parishioner's prejudice against
+ men in the pulpit, for long afterward, on one of my visits to Cape Cod, he
+ admitted that he now went to church very rarely.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "When I heard you preach," he explained, "I gen'ally followed you through
+ and I knowed where you was a-comin' out. But these young fellers that come
+ from the theological school&mdash;why, Sister Shaw, the Lord Himself don't
+ know where they're comin' out!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For a moment he pondered. Then he uttered a valedictory which I have
+ always been glad to recall as his last message, for I never saw him again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "When you fust come to us," he said, "you had a lot of crooked places, an'
+ we had a lot of crooked places; and we kind of run into each other, all of
+ us. But before you left, Sister Shaw, why, all the crooked places was wore
+ off and everything was as smooth as silk."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Yes," I agreed, "and that was the time to leave&mdash;when everything was
+ running smoothly."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ All is changed on Cape Cod since those days, thirty years ago. The old
+ families have died or moved away, and those who replaced them were of a
+ different type. I am happy in having known and loved the Cape as it was,
+ and in having gathered there a store of delightful memories. In later
+ strenuous years it has rested me merely to think of the place, and long
+ afterward I showed my continued love of it by building a home there, which
+ I still possess. But I had little time to rest in this or in my Moylan
+ home, of which I shall write later, for now I was back in Boston, living
+ my new life, and each crowded hour brought me more to do.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We were entering upon a deeply significant period. For the first time
+ women were going into industrial competition with men, and already men
+ were intensely resenting their presence. Around me I saw women overworked
+ and underpaid, doing men's work at half men's wages, not because their
+ work was inferior, but because they were women. Again, too, I studied the
+ obtrusive problems of the poor and of the women of the streets; and,
+ looking at the whole social situation from every angle, I could find but
+ one solution for women&mdash;the removal of the stigma of
+ disfranchisement. As man's equal before the law, woman could demand her
+ rights, asking favors from no one. With all my heart I joined in the
+ crusade of the men and women who were fighting for her. My real work had
+ begun.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Naturally, at this period, I frequently met the members of Boston's most
+ inspiring group&mdash;the Emersons and John Greenleaf Whittier, James
+ Freeman Clark, Reverend Minot Savage, Bronson Alcott and his daughter
+ Louisa, Wendell Phillips, William Lloyd Garrison, Stephen Foster, Theodore
+ Weld, and the rest. Of them all, my favorite was Whittier. He had been
+ present at my graduation from the theological school, and now he often
+ attended our suffrage meetings. He was already an old man, nearing the end
+ of his life; and I recall him as singularly tall and thin, almost gaunt,
+ bending forward as he talked, and wearing an expression of great serenity
+ and benignity. I once told Susan B. Anthony that if I needed help in a
+ crowd of strangers that included her, I would immediately turn to her,
+ knowing from her face that, whatever I had done, she would understand and
+ assist me. I could have offered the same tribute to Whittier. At our
+ meetings he was like a vesper-bell chiming above a battle-field. Garrison
+ always became excited during our discussions, and the others frequently
+ did; but Whittier, in whose big heart the love of his fellow-man burned as
+ unquenchably as in any heart there, always preserved his exquisite
+ tranquillity.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Once, I remember, Stephen Foster insisted on having the word "tyranny" put
+ into a resolution, stating that women were deprived of suffrage by the
+ TYRANNY of men. Mr. Garrison objected, and the debate that followed was
+ the most exciting I have ever heard. The combatants actually had to
+ adjourn before they could calm down sufficiently to go on with their
+ meeting. Knowing the stimulating atmosphere to which he had grown
+ accustomed, I was not surprised to have Theodore Weld explain to me; long
+ afterward, why he no longer attended suffrage meetings.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh," he said, "why should I go? There hasn't been any one mobbed in
+ twenty years!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Ralph Waldo Emersons occasionally attended our meetings, and Mr.
+ Emerson, at first opposed to woman suffrage, became a convert to it during
+ the last years of his life&mdash;a fact his son and daughter omitted to
+ mention in his biography. After his death I gave two suffrage lectures in
+ Concord, and each time Mrs. Emerson paid for the hall. At these lectures
+ Louisa M. Alcott graced the assembly with her splendid, wholesome
+ presence, and on both occasions she was surrounded by a group of boys. She
+ frankly cared much more for boys than for girls, and boys inevitably
+ gravitated to her whenever she entered a place where they were. When women
+ were given school suffrage in Massachusetts, Miss Alcott was the first
+ woman to vote in Concord, and she went to the polls accompanied by a group
+ of her boys, all ardently "for the Cause." My general impression of her
+ was that of a fresh breeze blowing over wide moors. She was as different
+ as possible from exquisite little Mrs. Emerson, who, in her daintiness and
+ quiet charm, suggested an old New England garden.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of Abby May and Edna Cheney I retain a general impression of "bagginess"&mdash;of
+ loose jackets over loose waistbands, of escaping locks of hair, of bodies
+ seemingly one size from the neck down. Both women were utterly indifferent
+ to the details of their appearance, but they were splendid workers and
+ leading spirits in the New England Woman's Club. It was said to be the
+ trouble between Abby May and Kate Gannett Wells, both of whom stood for
+ the presidency of the club, that led to the beginning of the anti-suffrage
+ movement in Boston. Abby May was elected president, and all the
+ suffragists voted for her. Subsequently Kate Gannett Wells began her
+ anti-suffrage campaign. Mrs. Wells was the first anti-suffragist I ever
+ knew in this country. Before her there had been Mrs. Dahlgren, wife of
+ Admiral Dahlgren, and Mrs. William Tecumseh Sherman. On one occasion
+ Elizabeth Cady Stanton challenged Mrs. Dahlgren to a debate on woman
+ suffrage, and in the light of later events Mrs. Dahlgren's reply is
+ amusing. She declined the challenge, explaining that for anti-suffragists
+ to appear upon a public platform would be a direct violation of the
+ principle for which they stood&mdash;which was the protection of female
+ modesty! Recalling this, and the present hectic activity of the
+ anti-suffragists, one must feel that they have either abandoned their
+ principle or widened their views. For Julia Ward Howe I had an immense
+ admiration; but, though from first to last I saw much of her, I never felt
+ that I really knew her. She was a woman of the widest culture, interested
+ in every progressive movement. With all her big heart she tried to be a
+ democrat, but she was an aristocrat to the very core of her, and, despite
+ her wonderful work for others, she lived in a splendid isolation. Once
+ when I called on her I found her resting her mind by reading Greek, and
+ she laughingly admitted that she was using a Latin pony, adding that she
+ was growing "rusty." She seemed a little embarrassed by being caught with
+ the pony, but she must have been reassured by my cheerful confession that
+ if <i>I</i> tried to read either Latin or Greek I should need an English
+ pony.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of Frances E. Willard, who frequently came to Boston, I saw a great deal,
+ and we soon became closely associated in our work. Early in our
+ friendship, and at Miss Willard's suggestion, we made a compact that once
+ a week each of us would point out to the other her most serious faults,
+ and thereby help her to remedy them; but we were both too sane to do
+ anything of the kind, and the project soon died a natural death. The
+ nearest I ever came to carrying it out was in warning Miss Willard that
+ she was constantly defying all the laws of personal hygiene. She never
+ rested, rarely seemed to sleep, and had to be reminded at the table that
+ she was there for the purpose of eating food. She was always absorbed in
+ some great interest, and oblivious to anything else, I never knew a woman
+ who could grip an audience and carry it with her as she could. She was
+ intensely emotional, and swayed others by their emotions rather than by
+ logic; yet she was the least conscious of her physical existence of any
+ one I ever knew, with the exception of Susan B. Anthony. Like "Aunt
+ Susan," Miss Willard paid no heed to cold or heat or hunger, to privation
+ or fatigue. In their relations to such trifles both women were disembodied
+ spirits.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another woman doing wonderful work at this time was Mrs. Quincy Shaw, who
+ had recently started her day nurseries for the care of tenement children
+ whose mothers labored by the day. These nurseries were new in Boston, as
+ was the kindergarten system she also established. I saw the effect of her
+ work in the lives of the people, and it strengthened my growing conviction
+ that little could be done for the poor in a spiritual or educational way
+ until they were given a certain amount of physical comfort, and until more
+ time was devoted to the problem of prevention. Indeed, the more I studied
+ economic issues, the more strongly I felt that the position of most
+ philanthropists is that of men who stand at the bottom of a precipice
+ gathering up and trying to heal those who fall into it, instead of
+ guarding the top and preventing them from going over.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of course I had to earn my living; but, though I had taken my medical
+ degree only a few months before leaving Cape Cod, I had no intention of
+ practising medicine. I had merely wished to add a certain amount of
+ medical knowledge to my mental equipment. The Massachusetts Woman Suffrage
+ Association, of which Lucy Stone was president, had frequently employed me
+ as a lecturer during the last two years of my pastorate. Now it offered me
+ a salary of one hundred dollars a month as a lecturer and organizer.
+ Though I may not have seemed so in these reminiscences, in which I have
+ written as freely of my small victories as of my struggles and failures, I
+ was a modest young person. The amount seemed too large, and I told Mrs.
+ Stone as much, after which I humbly fixed my salary at fifty dollars a
+ month. At the end of a year of work I felt that I had "made good"; then I
+ asked for and received the one hundred dollars a month originally offered
+ me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During my second year Miss Cora Scott Pond and I organized and carried
+ through in Boston a great suffrage bazaar, clearing six thousand dollars
+ for the association&mdash;a large amount in those days. Elated by my share
+ in this success, I asked that my salary should be increased to one hundred
+ and twenty-five dollars a month&mdash;but this was not done. Instead, I
+ received a valuable lesson. It was freely admitted that my work was worth
+ one hundred and twenty-five dollars, but I was told that one hundred was
+ the limit which could be paid, and I was reminded that this was a good
+ salary for a woman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The time seemed to have come to make a practical stand in defense of my
+ principles, and I did so by resigning and arranging an independent lecture
+ tour. The first month after my resignation I earned three hundred dollars.
+ Later I frequently earned more than that, and very rarely less. Eventually
+ I lectured under the direction of the Slaton Lecture Bureau of Chicago,
+ and later still for the Redpath Bureau of Boston. My experience with the
+ Redpath people was especially gratifying. Mrs. Livermore, who was their
+ only woman lecturer, was growing old and anxious to resign her work. She
+ saw in me a possible successor, and asked them to take me on their list.
+ They promptly refused, explaining that I must "make a reputation" before
+ they could even consider me. A year later they wrote me, making a very
+ good offer, which I accepted. It may be worth while to mention here that
+ through my lecture-work at this period I earned all the money I have ever
+ saved. I lectured night after night, week after week, month after month,
+ in "Chautauquas" in the summer, all over the country in the winter,
+ earning a large income and putting aside at that time the small surplus I
+ still hold in preparation for the "rainy day" every working-woman inwardly
+ fears.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I gave the public at least a fair equivalent for what it gave me, for I
+ put into my lectures all my vitality, and I rarely missed an engagement,
+ though again and again I risked my life to keep one. My special subjects,
+ of course, were the two I had most at heart-suffrage and temperance. For
+ Frances Willard, then President of the Woman's Christian Temperance Union,
+ had persuaded me to head the Franchise Department of that organization,
+ succeeding Ziralda Wallace, the mother of Gen. Lew Wallace; and Miss Susan
+ B. Anthony, who was beginning to study me closely, soon swung me into
+ active work with her, of which, later, I shall have much to say. But
+ before taking up a subject as absorbing to me as my friendship for and
+ association with the most wonderful woman I have ever known, it may be
+ interesting to record a few of my pioneer experiences in the
+ lecture-field.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In those days&mdash;thirty years ago&mdash;the lecture bureaus were wholly
+ regardless of the comfort of their lecturers. They arranged a schedule of
+ engagements with exactly one idea in mind&mdash;to get the lecturer from
+ one lecture-point to the next, utterly regardless of whether she had time
+ between for rest or food or sleep. So it happened that all-night journeys
+ in freight-cars, engines, and cabooses were casual commonplaces, while
+ thirty and forty mile drives across the country in blizzards and bitter
+ cold were equally inevitable. Usually these things did not trouble me.
+ They were high adventures which I enjoyed at the time and afterward loved
+ to recall. But there was an occasional hiatus in my optimism.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One night, for example, after lecturing in a town in Ohio, it was
+ necessary to drive eight miles across country to a tiny railroad station
+ at which a train, passing about two o'clock in the morning, was to be
+ flagged for me. When we reached the station it was closed, but my driver
+ deposited me on the platform and drove away, leaving me alone. The night
+ was cold and very dark. All day I had been feeling ill and in the evening
+ had suffered so much pain that I had finished my lecture with great
+ difficulty. Now toward midnight, in this desolate spot, miles from any
+ house, I grew alarmingly worse. I am not easily frightened, but that time
+ I was sure I was going to die. Off in the darkness, very far away, as it
+ seemed, I saw a faint light, and with infinite effort I dragged myself
+ toward it. To walk, even to stand, was impossible; I crawled along the
+ railroad track, collapsing, resting, going on again, whipping my will
+ power to the task of keeping my brain clear, until after a nightmare that
+ seemed to last through centuries I lay across the door of the switch-tower
+ in which the light was burning. The switchman stationed there heard the
+ cry I was able to utter, and came to my assistance. He carried me up to
+ his signal-room and laid me on the floor by the stove; he had nothing to
+ give me except warmth and shelter; but these were now all I asked. I sank
+ into a comatose condition shot through with pain. Toward two o'clock in
+ the morning he waked me and told me my train was coming, asking if I felt
+ able to take it. I decided to make the effort. He dared not leave his post
+ to help me, but he signaled to the train, and I began my progress back to
+ the station. I never clearly remembered how I got there; but I arrived and
+ was helped into a car by a brakeman. About four o'clock in the morning I
+ had to change again, but this time I was left at the station of a town,
+ and was there met by a man whose wife had offered me hospitality. He drove
+ me to their home, and I was cared for. What I had, it developed, was a
+ severe case of ptomaine poisoning, and I soon recovered; but even after
+ all these years I do not like to recall that night.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To be "snowed in" was a frequent experience. Once, in Minnesota, I was one
+ of a dozen travelers who were driven in an omnibus from a country hotel to
+ the nearest railroad station, about two miles away. It was snowing hard,
+ and the driver left us on the station platform and departed. Time passed,
+ but the train we were waiting for did not come. A true Western blizzard,
+ growing wilder every moment, had set in, and we finally realized that the
+ train was not coming, and that, moreover, it was now impossible to get
+ back to the hotel. The only thing we could do was to spend the night in
+ the railroad station. I was the only woman in the group, and my
+ fellow-passengers were cattlemen who whiled away the hours by smoking,
+ telling stories, and exchanging pocket flasks. The station had a telegraph
+ operator who occupied a tiny box by himself, and he finally invited me to
+ share the privacy of his microscopic quarters. I entered them very
+ gratefully, and he laid a board on the floor, covered it with an overcoat
+ made of buffalo-skins, and cheerfully invited me to go to bed. I went, and
+ slept peacefully until morning. Then we all returned to the hotel, the men
+ going ahead and shoveling a path.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Again, one Sunday, I was snowbound in a train near Faribault, and this
+ time also I was the only woman among a number of cattlemen. They were an
+ odoriferous lot, who smoked diligently and played cards without ceasing,
+ but in deference to my presence they swore only mildly and under their
+ breath. At last they wearied of their game, and one of them rose and came
+ to me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I heard you lecture the other night," he said, awkwardly, "and I've bin
+ tellin' the fellers about it. We'd like to have a lecture now."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Their card-playing had seemed to me a sinful thing (I was stricter in my
+ views then than I am to-day), and I was glad to create a diversion. I
+ agreed to give them a lecture, and they went through the train, which
+ consisted of two day coaches, and brought in the remaining passengers. A
+ few of them could sing, and we began with a Moody and Sankey hymn or two
+ and the appealing ditty, "Where is my wandering boy to-night?" in which
+ they all joined with special zest. Then I delivered the lecture, and they
+ listened attentively. When I had finished they seemed to think that some
+ slight return was in order, so they proceeded to make a bed for me. They
+ took the bottoms out of two seats, arranged them crosswise, and one man
+ folded his overcoat into a pillow. Inspired by this, two others
+ immediately donated their fur overcoats for upper and lower coverings.
+ When the bed was ready they waved me toward it with a most hospitable air,
+ and I crept in between the overcoats and slumbered sweetly until I was
+ aroused the next morning by the welcome music of a snow-plow which had
+ been sent from St. Paul to our rescue. To drive fifty or sixty miles in a
+ day to meet a lecture engagement was a frequent experience. I have been
+ driven across the prairies in June when they were like a mammoth
+ flower-bed, and in January when they seemed one huge snow-covered grave&mdash;my
+ grave, I thought, at times. Once during a thirty-mile drive, when the
+ thermometer was twenty degrees below zero, I suddenly realized that my
+ face was freezing. I opened my satchel, took out the tissue-paper that
+ protected my best gown, and put the paper over my face as a veil, tucking
+ it inside of my bonnet. When I reached my destination the tissue was a
+ perfect mask, frozen stiff, and I had to be lifted from the sleigh. I was
+ due on the lecture platform in half an hour, so I drank a huge bowl of
+ boiling ginger tea and appeared on time. That night I went to bed
+ expecting an attack of pneumonia as a result of the exposure, but I awoke
+ next morning in superb condition. I possess what is called "an iron
+ constitution," and in those days I needed it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That same winter, in Kansas, I was chased by wolves, and though I had been
+ more or less intimately associated with wolves in my pioneer life in the
+ Michigan woods, I found the occasion extremely unpleasant. During the long
+ winters of my girlhood wolves had frequently slunk around our log cabin,
+ and at times in the lumber-camps we had even heard them prowling on the
+ roofs. But those were very different creatures from the two huge,
+ starving, tireless animals that hour after hour loped behind the cutter in
+ which I sat with another woman, who, throughout the whole experience,
+ never lost her head nor her control of our frantic horses. They were mad
+ with terror, for, try as they would, they could not outrun the grim things
+ that trailed us, seemingly not trying to gain on us, but keeping always at
+ the same distance, with a patience that was horrible. From time to time I
+ turned to look at them, and the picture they made as they came on and on
+ is one I shall never forget. They were so near that I could see their eyes
+ and slavering jaws, and they were as noiseless as things in a dream. At
+ last, little by little, they began to gain on us, and they were almost
+ within striking distance of the whip, which was our only weapon, when we
+ reached the welcome outskirts of a town and they fell back.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Some of the memories of those days have to do with personal encounters,
+ brief but poignant. Once when I was giving a series of Chautauqua
+ lectures, I spoke at the Chautauqua in Pontiac, Illinois. The State
+ Reformatory for Boys was situated in that town, and, after the lecture the
+ superintendent of the Reformatory invited me to visit it and say a few
+ words to the inmates. I went and spoke for half an hour, carrying away a
+ memory of the place and of the boys which haunted me for months. A year
+ later, while I was waiting for a train in the station at Shelbyville, a
+ lad about sixteen years old passed me and hesitated, looking as if he knew
+ me. I saw that he wanted to speak and dared not, so I nodded to him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You think you know me, don't you?" I asked, when he came to my side.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Yes'm, I do know you," he told me, eagerly. "You are Miss Shaw, and you
+ talked to us boys at Pontiac last year. I'm out on parole now, but I
+ 'ain't forgot. Us boys enjoyed you the best of any show we ever had!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was touched by this artless compliment, and anxious to know how I had
+ won it, so I asked, "What did I say that the boys liked?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The lad hesitated. Then he said, slowly, "Well, you didn't talk as if you
+ thought we were all bad."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "My boy," I told him, "I don't think you are all bad. I know better!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As if I had touched a spring in him, the lad dropped into the seat by my
+ side; then, leaning toward me, he said, impulsively, but almost in a
+ whisper:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Say, Miss Shaw, SOME OF US BOYS SAYS OUR PRAYERS!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Rarely have I had a tribute that moved me more than that shy confidence;
+ and often since then, in hours of discouragement or failure, I have
+ reminded myself that at least there must have been something in me once to
+ make a lad of that age so open up his heart. We had a long and intimate
+ talk, from which grew the abiding interest I feel in boys today.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Naturally I was sometimes inconvenienced by slight misunderstandings
+ between local committees and myself as to the subjects of my lectures, and
+ the most extreme instance of this occurred in a town where I arrived to
+ find myself widely advertised as "Mrs. Anna Shaw, who whistled before
+ Queen Victoria"! Transfixed, I gaped before the billboards, and by reading
+ their additional lettering discovered the gratifying fact that at least I
+ was not expected to whistle now. Instead, it appeared, I was to lecture on
+ "The Missing Link."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As usual, I had arrived in town only an hour or two before the time fixed
+ for my lecture; there was the briefest interval in which to clear up these
+ painful misunderstandings. I repeatedly tried to reach the chairman who
+ was to preside at the entertainment, but failed. At last I went to the
+ hall at the hour appointed, and found the local committee there,
+ graciously waiting to receive me. Without wasting precious minutes in
+ preliminaries, I asked why they had advertised me as the woman who had
+ "whistled before Queen Victoria."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why, didn't you whistle before her?" they exclaimed in grieved surprise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I certainly did not," I explained. "Moreover, I was never called 'The
+ American Nightingale,' and I have never lectured on 'The Missing Link.'
+ Where DID you get that subject? It was not on the list I sent you."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The members of the committee seemed dazed. They withdrew to a corner and
+ consulted in whispers. Then, with clearing brow, the spokesman returned.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why," he said, cheerfully, "it's simple enough! We mixed you up with a
+ Shaw lady that whistles; and we've been discussing the missing link in our
+ debating society, so our citizens want to hear your views."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "But I don't know anything about the missing link," I protested, "and I
+ can't speak on it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Now, come," they begged. "Why, you'll have to! We've sold all our tickets
+ for that lecture. The whole town has turned out to hear it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Then, as I maintained a depressed silence, one of them had a bright idea.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I'll tell you how to fix it!" he cried. "Speak on any subject you please,
+ but bring in something about the missing link every few minutes. That will
+ satisfy 'em."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Very well," I agreed, reluctantly. "Open the meeting with a song. Get the
+ audience to sing 'America' or 'The Star-spangled Banner.' That will give
+ me a few minutes to think, and I will see what can be done."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Led by a very nervous chairman, the big audience began to sing, and under
+ the inspiration of the music the solution of our problem flashed into my
+ mind.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It is easy," I told myself. "Woman is the missing link in our government.
+ I'll give them a suffrage speech along that line."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the song ended I began my part of the entertainment with a portion of
+ my lecture on "The Fate of Republics," tracing their growth and decay, and
+ pointing out that what our republic needed to give it a stable government
+ was the missing link of woman suffrage. I got along admirably, for every
+ five minutes I mentioned "the missing link," and the audience sat content
+ and apparently interested, while the members of the committee burst into
+ bloom on the platform.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ VIII. DRAMA IN THE LECTURE-FIELD
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ My most dramatic experience occurred in a city in Michigan, where I was
+ making a temperance campaign. It was an important lumber and shipping
+ center, and it harbored much intemperance. The editor of the leading
+ newspaper was with the temperance-workers in our fight there, and he had
+ warned me that the liquor people threatened to "burn the building over my
+ head" if I attempted to lecture. We were used to similar threats, so I
+ proceeded with my preparations and held the meeting in the town
+ skating-rink&mdash;a huge, bare, wooden structure.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Lectures were rare in that city, and rumors of some special excitement on
+ this occasion had been circulated; every seat in the rink was filled, and
+ several hundred persons stood in the aisles and at the back of the
+ building. Just opposite the speaker's platform was a small gallery, and
+ above that, in the ceiling, was a trap-door. Before I had been speaking
+ ten minutes I saw a man drop through this trap-door to the balcony and
+ climb from there to the main floor. As he reached the floor he shouted
+ "Fire!" and rushed out into the street. The next instant every person in
+ the rink was up and a panic had started. I was very sure there was no
+ fire, but I knew that many might be killed in the rush which was
+ beginning. So I sprang on a chair and shouted to the people with the full
+ strength of my lungs:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There is no fire! It's only a trick! Sit down! Sit down!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The cooler persons in the crowd at once began to help in this calming
+ process.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Sit down!" they repeated. "It's all right! There's no fire! Sit down!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It looked as if we had the situation in hand, for the people hesitated,
+ and most of them grew quiet; but just then a few words were hissed up to
+ me that made my heart stop beating. A member of our local committee was
+ standing beside my chair, speaking in a terrified whisper:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There IS a fire, Miss Shaw," he said. "For God's sake get the people out&mdash;QUICKLY!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The shock was so unexpected that my knees almost gave way. The people were
+ still standing, wavering, looking uncertainly toward us. I raised my voice
+ again, and if it sounded unnatural my hearers probably thought it was
+ because I was speaking so loudly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "As we are already standing," I cried, "and are all nervous, a little
+ exercise will do us good. So march out, singing. Keep time to the music!
+ Later you can come back and take your seats!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The man who had whispered the warning jumped into the aisle and struck up
+ "Jesus, Lover of My Soul." Then he led the march down to the door, while
+ the big audience swung into line and followed him, joining in the song. I
+ remained on the chair, beating time and talking to the people as they
+ went; but when the last of them had left the building I almost collapsed;
+ for the flames had begun to eat through the wooden walls and the clang of
+ the fire-engines was heard outside.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As soon as I was sure every one was safe, however, I experienced the most
+ intense anger I had yet known. My indignation against the men who had
+ risked hundreds of lives by setting fire to a crowded building made me
+ "see red"; it was clear that they must be taught a lesson then and there.
+ As soon as I was outside the rink I called a meeting, and the
+ Congregational minister, who was in the crowd, lent us his church and led
+ the way to it. Most of the audience followed us, and we had a wonderful
+ meeting, during which we were able at last to make clear to the people of
+ that town the character of the liquor interests we were fighting. That
+ episode did the temperance cause more good than a hundred ordinary
+ meetings. Men who had been indifferent before became our friends and
+ supporters, and at the following election we carried the town for
+ prohibition by a big majority.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There have been other occasions when our opponents have not fought us
+ fairly. Once, in an Ohio town, a group of politicians, hearing that I was
+ to lecture on temperance in the court-house on a certain night, took
+ possession of the building early in the evening, on the pretense of
+ holding a meeting, and held it against us. When, escorted by a committee
+ of leading women, I reached the building and tried to enter, we found that
+ the men had locked us out. Our audience was gathering and filling the
+ street, and we finally sent a courteous message to the men, assuming that
+ they had forgotten us and reminding them of our position. The messenger
+ reported that the men would leave "about eight," but that the room was
+ "black with smoke and filthy with tobacco-juice." We waited patiently
+ until eight o'clock, holding little outside meetings in groups, as our
+ audience waited with us. At eight we again sent our messenger into the
+ hall, and he brought back word that the men were "not through, didn't know
+ when they would be through, and had told the women not to wait."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Naturally, the waiting townswomen were deeply chagrined by this. So were
+ many men in the outside crowd. We asked if there was no other entrance to
+ the hall except through the locked front doors, and were told that the
+ judge's private room opened into it, and that one of our committee had the
+ key, as she had planned to use this room as a dressing and retiring room
+ for the speakers. After some discussion we decided to storm the hall and
+ take possession. Within five minutes all the women had formed in line and
+ were crowding up the back stairs and into the judge's room. There we
+ unlocked the door, again formed in line, and marched into the hall,
+ singing "Onward, Christian Soldiers!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There were hundreds of us, and we marched directly to the platform, where
+ the astonished men got up to stare at us. More and more women entered,
+ coming up the back stairs from the street and filling the hall; and when
+ the men realized what it all meant, and recognized their wives, sisters,
+ and women friends in the throng, they sheepishly unlocked the front doors
+ and left us in possession, though we politely urged them to remain. We had
+ a great meeting that night!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another reminiscence may not be out of place. We were working for a
+ prohibition amendment in the state of Pennsylvania, and the night before
+ election I reached Coatesville. I had just completed six weeks of
+ strenuous campaigning, and that day I had already conducted and spoken at
+ two big outdoor meetings. When I entered the town hall of Coatesville I
+ found it filled with women. Only a few men were there; the rest were
+ celebrating and campaigning in the streets. So I arose and said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I would like to ask how many men there are in the audience who intend to
+ vote for the amendment to-morrow?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Every man in the hall stood up.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I thought so," I said. "Now I intend to ask your indulgence. As you are
+ all in favor of the amendment, there is no use in my setting its claims
+ before you; and, as I am utterly exhausted, I suggest that we sing the
+ Doxology and go home!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The audience saw the common sense of my position, so the people laughed
+ and sang the Doxology and departed. As we were leaving the hall one of
+ Coatesville's prominent citizens stopped me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I wish you were a man," he said. "The town was to have a big outdoor
+ meeting to-night, and the orator has failed us. There are thousands of men
+ in the streets waiting for the speech, and the saloons are sending them
+ free drinks to get them drunk and carry the town to-morrow."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why," I said, "I'll talk to them if you wish."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Great Scott!" he gasped. "I'd be afraid to let you. Something might
+ happen!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "If anything happens, it will be in a good cause," I reminded him. "Let us
+ go."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Down-town we found the streets so packed with men that the cars could not
+ get through, and with the greatest difficulty we reached the stand which
+ had been erected for the speaker. It was a gorgeous affair. There were
+ flaring torches all around it, and a "bull's-eye," taken from the head of
+ a locomotive, made an especially brilliant patch of light. The stand had
+ been erected at a point where the city's four principal streets meet, and
+ as far as I could see there were solid masses of citizens extending into
+ these streets. A glee-club was doing its best to help things along, and
+ the music of an organette, an instrument much used at the time in campaign
+ rallies, swelled the joyful tumult. As I mounted the platform the crowd
+ was singing "Vote for Betty and the Baby," and I took that song for my
+ text, speaking of the helplessness of women and children in the face of
+ intemperance, and telling the crowd the only hope of the Coatesville women
+ lay in the vote cast by their men the next day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Directly in front of me stood a huge and extraordinarily repellent-looking
+ negro. A glance at him almost made one shudder, but before I had finished
+ my first sentence he raised his right arm straight above him and shouted,
+ in a deep and wonderfully rich bass voice, "Hallelujah to the Lamb!" From
+ that point on he punctuated my speech every few moments with good,
+ old-fashioned exclamations of salvation which helped to inspire the crowd.
+ I spoke for almost an hour. Three times in my life, and only three times,
+ I have made speeches that have satisfied me to the degree, that is, of
+ making me feel that at least I was giving the best that was in me. The
+ speech at Coatesville was one of those three. At the end of it the
+ good-natured crowd cheered for ten minutes. The next day Coatesville voted
+ for prohibition, and, rightly or wrongly, I have always believed that I
+ helped to win that victory.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Here, by the way, I may add that of the two other speeches which satisfied
+ me one was made in Chicago, during the World's Fair, in 1893, and the
+ other in Stockholm, Sweden, in 1912. The International Council of Women,
+ it will be remembered, met in Chicago during the Fair, and I was invited
+ to preach the sermon at the Sunday-morning session. The occasion was a
+ very important one, bringing together at least five thousand persons,
+ including representative women from almost every country in Europe, and a
+ large number of women ministers. These made an impressive group, as they
+ all wore their ministerial robes; and for the first time I preached in a
+ ministerial robe, ordered especially for that day. It was made of black
+ crepe de Chine, with great double flowing sleeves, white silk
+ undersleeves, and a wide white silk underfold down the front; and I may
+ mention casually that it looked very much better than I felt, for I was
+ very nervous. My father had come on to Chicago especially to hear my
+ sermon, and had been invited to sit on the platform. Even yet he was not
+ wholly reconciled to my public work, but he was beginning to take a deep
+ interest in it. I greatly desired to please him and to satisfy Miss
+ Anthony, who was extremely anxious that on that day of all days I should
+ do my best.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I gave an unusual amount of time and thought to that sermon, and at last
+ evolved what I modestly believed to be a good one. I never write out a
+ sermon in advance, but I did it this time, laboriously, and then memorized
+ the effort. The night before the sermon was to be delivered Miss Anthony
+ asked me about it, and when I realized how deeply interested she was I
+ delivered it to her then and there as a rehearsal. It was very late, and I
+ knew we would not be interrupted. As she listened her face grew longer and
+ longer and her lips drooped at the corners. Her disappointment was so
+ obvious that I had difficulty in finishing my recitation; but I finally
+ got through it, though rather weakly toward the end, and waited to hear
+ what she would say, hoping against hope that she had liked it better than
+ she seemed to. But Susan B. Anthony was the frankest as well as the
+ kindest of women. Resolutely she shook her head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It's no good, Anna," she said; firmly. "You'll have to do better. You've
+ polished and repolished that sermon until there's no life left in it. It's
+ dead. Besides, I don't care for your text."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Then give me a text," I demanded, gloomily.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I can't," said Aunt Susan.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was tired and bitterly disappointed, and both conditions showed in my
+ reply.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Well," I asked, somberly, "if you can't even supply a text, how do you
+ suppose I'm going to deliver a brand-new sermon at ten o'clock to-morrow
+ morning?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh," declared Aunt Susan, blithely, "you'll find a text."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I suggested several, but she did not like them. At last I said, "I have it&mdash;'Let
+ no man take thy crown.'"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "That's it!" exclaimed Miss Anthony. "Give us a good sermon on that text."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She went to her room to sleep the sleep of the just and the untroubled,
+ but I tossed in my bed the rest of the night, planning the points of the
+ new sermon. After I had delivered it the next morning I went to my father
+ to assist him from the platform. He was trembling, and his eyes were full
+ of tears. He seized my arm and pressed it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Now I am ready to die," was all he said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was so tired that I felt ready to die, too; but his satisfaction and a
+ glance at Aunt Susan's contented face gave me the tonic I needed. Father
+ died two years later, and as I was campaigning in California I was not
+ with him at the end. It was a comfort to remember, however, that in the
+ twilight of his life he had learned to understand his most difficult
+ daughter, and to give her credit for earnestness of purpose, at least, in
+ following the life that had led her away from him. After his death, and
+ immediately upon my return from California, I visited my mother, and it
+ was well indeed that I did, for within a few months she followed father
+ into the other world for which all of her unselfish life had been a
+ preparation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Our last days together were perfect. Her attitude was one of serene and
+ cheerful expectancy, and I always think of her as sitting among the
+ primroses and bluebells she loved, which seemed to bloom unceasingly in
+ the windows of her room. I recall, too, with gratitude, a trifle which
+ gave her a pleasure out of all proportion to what I had dreamed it would
+ do. She had expressed a longing for some English heather, "not the
+ hot-house variety, but the kind that blooms on the hills," and I had
+ succeeded in getting a bunch for her by writing to an English friend.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Its possession filled her with joy, and from the time it came until the
+ day her eyes closed in their last sleep it was rarely beyond reach of her
+ hand. At her request, when she was buried we laid the heather on her heart&mdash;the
+ heart of a true and loyal woman, who, though her children had not known
+ it, must have longed without ceasing throughout her New World life for the
+ Old World of her youth.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Scandinavian speech was an even more vital experience than the Chicago
+ one, for in Stockholm I delivered the first sermon ever preached by a
+ woman in the State Church of Sweden, and the event was preceded by an
+ amount of political and journalistic opposition which gave it an
+ international importance. I had also been invited by the Norwegian women
+ to preach in the State Church of Norway, but there we experienced
+ obstacles. By the laws of Norway women are permitted to hold all public
+ offices except those in the army, navy, and church&mdash;a rather
+ remarkable militant and spiritual combination. As a woman, therefore, I
+ was denied the use of the church by the Minister of Church Affairs.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The decision created great excitement and much delving into the law. It
+ then appeared that if the use of a State Church is desired for a minister
+ of a foreign country the government can give such permission. It was
+ thought that I might slip in through this loophole, and application was
+ made to the government. The reply came that permission could be received
+ only from the entire Cabinet; and while the Cabinet gentlemen were
+ feverishly discussing the important issue, the Norwegian press became
+ active, pointing out that the Minister of Church Affairs had arrogantly
+ assumed the right of the entire Cabinet in denying the application. The
+ charge was taken up by the party opposed to the government party in
+ Parliament, and the Minister of Church Affairs swiftly turned the whole
+ matter over to his conferees.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Cabinet held a session, and by a vote of four to three decided NOT to
+ allow a woman to preach in the State Church. I am happy to add that of the
+ three who voted favorably on the question one was the Premier of Norway.
+ Again the newspapers grasped their opportunity&mdash;especially the organs
+ of the opposition party. My rooms were filled with reporters, while daily
+ the excitement grew. The question was brought up in Parliament, and I was
+ invited to attend and hear the discussion there. By this time every
+ newspaper in Scandinavia was for or against me; and the result of the
+ whole matter was that, though the State Church of Norway was not opened to
+ me, a most unusual interest had been aroused in my sermon in the State
+ Church of Sweden. When I arrived there to keep my engagement, not only was
+ the wonderful structure packed to its walls, but the waiting crowds in the
+ street were so large that the police had difficulty in opening a way for
+ our party.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I shall never forget my impression of the church itself when I entered it.
+ It will always stand forth in my memory as one of the most beautiful
+ churches I have ever visited. On every side were monuments of dead heroes
+ and statesmen, and the high, vaulted blue dome seemed like the open sky
+ above our heads. Over us lay a light like a soft twilight, and the great
+ congregation filled not only all the pews, but the aisles, the platform,
+ and even the steps of the pulpit. The ushers were young women from the
+ University of Upsala, wearing white university caps with black vizors, and
+ sashes in the university colors. The anthem was composed especially for
+ the occasion by the first woman cathedral organist in Sweden&mdash;the
+ organist of the cathedral in Gothenburg&mdash;and she had brought with her
+ thirty members of her choir, all of them remarkable singers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The whole occasion was indescribably impressive, and I realized in every
+ fiber the necessity of being worthy of it. Also, I experienced a sensation
+ such as I had never known before, and which I can only describe as a
+ seeming complete separation of my physical self from my spiritual self. It
+ was as if my body stood aside and watched my soul enter that pulpit. There
+ was no uncertainty, no nervousness, though usually I am very nervous when
+ I begin to speak; and when I had finished I knew that I had done my best.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But all this is a long way from the early days I was discussing, when I
+ was making my first diffident bows to lecture audiences and learning the
+ lessons of the pioneer in the lecture-field. I was soon to learn more, for
+ in 1888 Miss Anthony persuaded me to drop my temperance work and
+ concentrate my energies on the suffrage cause. For a long time I
+ hesitated. I was very happy in my connection with the Woman's Christian
+ Temperance Union, and I knew that Miss Willard was depending on me to
+ continue it. But Miss Anthony's arguments were irrefutable, and she was
+ herself, as always, irresistible.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You can't win two causes at once," she reminded me. "You're merely
+ scattering your energies. Begin at the beginning. Win suffrage for women,
+ and the rest will follow." As an added argument, she took me with her on
+ her Kansas campaign, and after that no further arguments were needed. From
+ then until her death, eighteen years later, Miss Anthony and I worked
+ shoulder to shoulder.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The most interesting lecture episode of our first Kansas campaign was my
+ debate with Senator John J. Ingalls. Before this, however, on our arrival
+ at Atchison, Mrs. Ingalls gave a luncheon for Miss Anthony, and Rachel
+ Foster Avery and I were also invited. Miss Anthony sat at the right of
+ Senator Ingalls, and I at his left, while Mrs. Ingalls, of course, adorned
+ the opposite end of her table. Mrs. Avery and I had just been entertained
+ for several days at the home of a vegetarian friend who did not know how
+ to cook vegetables, and we were both half starved. When we were invited to
+ the Ingalls home we had uttered in unison a joyous cry, "Now we shall have
+ something to eat!" At the luncheon, however, Senator Ingalls kept Miss
+ Anthony and me talking steadily. He was not in favor of suffrage for
+ women, but he wished to know all sorts of things about the Cause, and we
+ were anxious to have him know them. The result was that I had time for
+ only an occasional mouthful, while down at the end of the table Mrs. Avery
+ ate and ate, pausing only to send me glances of heartfelt sympathy. Also,
+ whenever she had an especially toothsome morsel on the end of her fork she
+ wickedly succeeded in catching my eye and thus adding the last sybaritic
+ touch to her enjoyment.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Notwithstanding the wealth of knowledge we had bestowed upon him, or
+ perhaps because of it, the following night Senator Ingalls made his famous
+ speech against suffrage, and it fell to my lot to answer him. In the
+ course of his remarks he asked this question: "Would you like to add three
+ million illiterate voters to the large body of illiterate voters we have
+ in America to-day?" The audience applauded light-heartedly, but I was
+ disturbed by the sophistry of the question. One of Senator Ingalls's most
+ discussed personal peculiarities was the parting of his hair in the
+ middle. Cartoonists and newspaper writers always made much of this, so
+ when I rose to reply I felt justified in mentioning it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Senator Ingalls," I began, "parts his hair in the middle, as we all know,
+ but he makes up for it by parting his figures on one side. Last night he
+ gave you the short side of his figures. At the present time there are in
+ the United States about eighteen million women of voting age. When the
+ Senator asked whether you wanted three million additional illiterate women
+ voters, he forgot to ask also if you didn't want fifteen million
+ additional intelligent women voters! We will grant that it will take the
+ votes of three million intelligent women to wipe out the votes of three
+ million illiterate women. But don't forget that that would still leave us
+ twelve million intelligent votes to the good!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The audience applauded as gaily as it had applauded Senator Ingalls when
+ he spoke on the other side, and I continued:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Now women have always been generous to men. So of our twelve million
+ intelligent voters we will offer four million to offset the votes of the
+ four million illiterate men in this country&mdash;and then we will still
+ have eight million intelligent votes to add to the other intelligent votes
+ which are cast." The audience seemed to enjoy this.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The anti-suffragists are fairly safe," I ended, "as long as they remain
+ on the plane of prophecy. But as soon as they tackle mathematics they get
+ into trouble!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Anthony was much pleased by the wide publicity given to this debate,
+ but Senator Ingalls failed to share her enthusiasm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was shortly after this encounter that I had two traveling experiences
+ which nearly cost me my life. One of them occurred in Ohio at the time of
+ a spring freshet. I know of no state that can cover itself with water as
+ completely as Ohio can, and for no apparent reason. On this occasion it
+ was breaking its own record. We had driven twenty miles across country in
+ a buggy which was barely out of the water, and behind horses that at times
+ were almost forced to swim, and when we got near the town where I was to
+ lecture, though still on the opposite side of the river from it, we
+ discovered that the bridge was gone. We had a good view of the town,
+ situated high and dry on a steep bank; but the river which rolled between
+ us and that town was a roaring, boiling stream, and the only possible way
+ to cross it, I found, was to walk over a railroad trestle, already
+ trembling under the force of the water.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There were hundreds of men on the river-bank watching the flood, and when
+ they saw me start out on the empty trestle they set up a cheer that nearly
+ threw me off. The river was wide and the ties far apart, and the roar of
+ the stream below was far from reassuring; but in some way I reached the
+ other side, and was there helped off the trestle by what the newspapers
+ called "strong and willing hands."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another time, in a desperate resolve to meet a lecture engagement, I
+ walked across the railroad trestle at Elmira, New York, and when I was
+ halfway over I heard shouts of warning to turn back, as a train was
+ coming. The trestle was very high at that point, and I realized that if I
+ turned and faced an oncoming train I would undoubtedly lose my nerve and
+ fall. So I kept on, as rapidly as I could, accompanied by the shrieks of
+ those who objected to witnessing a violent death, and I reached the end of
+ the trestle just as an express-train thundered on the beginning of it. The
+ next instant a policeman had me by the shoulders and was shaking me as if
+ I had been a bad child.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "If you ever do such a thing again," he thundered, "I'll lock you up!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As soon as I could speak I assured him fervently that I never would; one
+ such experience was all I desired.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Occasionally a flash of humor, conscious or unconscious, lit up the gloom
+ of a trying situation. Thus, in Parkersburg, West Virginia, the train I
+ was on ran into a coal-car. I was sitting in a sleeper, leaning back
+ comfortably with my feet on the seat in front of me, and the force of the
+ collision lifted me up, turned me completely over, and deposited me, head
+ first, two seats beyond. On every side I heard cries and the crash of
+ human bodies against unyielding substances as my fellow-passengers flew
+ through the air, while high and clear above the tumult rang the voice of
+ the conductor:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Keep your seats!" he yelled. "KEEP YOUR SEATS!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nobody in our car was seriously hurt; but, so great is the power of vested
+ authority, no one smiled over that order but me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Many times my medical experience was useful. Once I was on a train which
+ ran into a buggy and killed the woman in it. Her little daughter, who was
+ with her, was badly hurt, and when the train had stopped the crew lifted
+ the dead woman and the injured child on board, to take them to the next
+ station. As I was the only doctor among the passengers, the child was
+ turned over to me. I made up a bed on the seats and put the little patient
+ there, but no woman in the car was able to assist me. The tragedy had made
+ them hysterical, and on every side they were weeping and nerveless. The
+ men were willing but inefficient, with the exception of one uncouth
+ woodsman whose trousers were tucked into his boots and whose hands were
+ phenomenally big and awkward. But they were also very gentle, as I
+ realized when he began to help me. I knew at once that he was the man I
+ needed, notwithstanding his unkempt hair, his general ungainliness, the
+ hat he wore on the back of his head, and the pink carnation in his
+ buttonhole, which, by its very incongruity, added the final accent to his
+ unprepossessing appearance. Together we worked over the child, making it
+ as comfortable as we could. It was hardly necessary to tell my aide what I
+ wanted done; he seemed to know and even to anticipate my efforts.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When we reached the next station the dead woman was taken out and laid on
+ the platform, and a nurse and doctor who had been telegraphed for were
+ waiting to care for the little girl. She was conscious by this time, and
+ with the most exquisite gentleness my rustic Bayard lifted her in his arms
+ to carry her off the train. Quite unnecessarily I motioned to him not to
+ let her see her dead mother. He was not the sort who needed that warning;
+ he had already turned her face to his shoulder, and, with head bent low
+ above her, was safely skirting the spot where the long, covered figure
+ lay.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Evidently the station was his destination, too, for he remained there; but
+ just as the train pulled out he came hurrying to my window, took the
+ carnation from his buttonhole, and without a word handed it to me. And
+ after the tragic hour in which I had learned to know him the crushed
+ flower, from that man, seemed the best fee I had ever received.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ IX. "AUNT SUSAN"
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ In The Life of Susan B. Anthony it is mentioned that 1888 was a year of
+ special recognition of our great leader's work, but that it was also the
+ year in which many of her closest friends and strongest supporters were
+ taken from her by death. A. Bronson Alcott was among these, and Louisa M.
+ Alcott, as well as Dr. Lozier; and special stress is laid on Miss
+ Anthony's sense of loss in the diminishing circle of her friends&mdash;a
+ loss which new friends and workers came forward, eager to supply.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Chief among these," adds the record, "was Anna Shaw, who, from the time
+ of the International Council in '88, gave her truest allegiance to Miss
+ Anthony."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is true that from that year until Miss Anthony's death in 1906 we two
+ were rarely separated; and I never read the paragraph I have just quoted
+ without seeing, as in a vision, the figure of "Aunt Susan" as she slipped
+ into my hotel room in Chicago late one night after an evening meeting of
+ the International Council. I had gone to bed&mdash;indeed, I was almost
+ asleep when she came, for the day had been as exhausting as it was
+ interesting. But notwithstanding the lateness of the hour, "Aunt Susan,"
+ then nearing seventy, was still as fresh and as full of enthusiasm as a
+ young girl. She had a great deal to say, she declared, and she proceeded
+ to say it&mdash;sitting in a big easy-chair near the bed, with a rug
+ around her knees, while I propped myself up with pillows and listened.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Hours passed and the dawn peered wanly through the windows, but still Miss
+ Anthony talked of the Cause always of the Cause&mdash;and of what we two
+ must do for it. The previous evening she had been too busy to eat any
+ dinner, and I greatly doubt whether she had eaten any luncheon at noon.
+ She had been on her feet for hours at a time, and she had held numerous
+ discussions with other women she wished to inspire to special effort. Yet,
+ after it all, here she was laying out our campaigns for years ahead,
+ foreseeing everything, forgetting nothing, and sweeping me with her in her
+ flight toward our common goal, until I, who am not easily carried off my
+ feet, experienced an almost dizzy sense of exhilaration.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Suddenly she stopped, looked at the gas-jets paling in the morning light
+ that filled the room, and for a fleeting instant seemed surprised. In the
+ next she had dismissed from her mind the realization that we had talked
+ all night. Why should we not talk all night? It was part of our work. She
+ threw off the enveloping rug and rose.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I must dress now," she said, briskly. "I've called a committee meeting
+ before the morning session."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On her way to the door nature smote her with a rare reminder, but even
+ then she did not realize that it was personal. "Perhaps," she remarked,
+ tentatively, "you ought to have a cup of coffee."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That was "Aunt Susan." And in the eighteen years which followed I had
+ daily illustrations of her superiority to purely human weaknesses. To her
+ the hardships we underwent later, in our Western campaigns for woman
+ suffrage, were as the airiest trifles. Like a true soldier, she could
+ snatch a moment of sleep or a mouthful of food where she found it, and if
+ either was not forthcoming she did not miss it. To me she was an unceasing
+ inspiration&mdash;the torch that illumined my life. We went through some
+ difficult years together&mdash;years when we fought hard for each inch of
+ headway we gained&mdash;but I found full compensation for every effort in
+ the glory of working with her for the Cause that was first in both our
+ hearts, and in the happiness of being her friend. Later I shall describe
+ in more detail the suffrage campaigns and the National and International
+ councils in which we took part; now it is of her I wish to write&mdash;of
+ her bigness, her many-sidedness, her humor, her courage, her quickness,
+ her sympathy, her understanding, her force, her supreme common-sense, her
+ selflessness; in short, of the rare beauty of her nature as I learned to
+ know it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Like most great leaders, she took one's best work for granted, and was
+ chary with her praise; and even when praise was given it usually came by
+ indirect routes. I recall with amusement that the highest compliment she
+ ever paid me in public involved her in a tangle from which, later, only
+ her quick wit extricated her. We were lecturing in an especially pious
+ town which I shall call B&mdash;&mdash;, and just before I went on the
+ platform Miss Anthony remarked, peacefully:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "These people have always claimed that I am irreligious. They will not
+ accept the fact that I am a Quaker&mdash;or, rather, they seem to think a
+ Quaker is an infidel. I am glad you are a Methodist, for now they cannot
+ claim that we are not orthodox."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She was still enveloped in the comfort of this reflection when she
+ introduced me to our audience, and to impress my qualifications upon my
+ hearers she made her introduction in these words:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It is a pleasure to introduce Miss Shaw, who is a Methodist minister. And
+ she is not only orthodox of the orthodox, but she is also my right bower!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There was a gasp from the pious audience, and then a roar of laughter from
+ irreverent men, in which, I must confess, I light-heartedly joined. For
+ once in her life Miss Anthony lost her presence of mind; she did not know
+ how to meet the situation, for she had no idea what had caused the
+ laughter. It bubbled forth again and again during the evening, and each
+ time Miss Anthony received the demonstration with the same air of puzzled
+ surprise. When we had returned to our hotel rooms I explained the matter
+ to her. I do not remember now where I had acquired my own sinful
+ knowledge, but that night I faced "Aunt Susan" from the pedestal of a
+ sophisticated worldling.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Don't you know what a right bower is?" I demanded, sternly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Of course I do," insisted "Aunt Susan." "It's a right-hand man&mdash;the
+ kind one can't do without."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It is a card," I told her, firmly&mdash;"a leading card in a game called
+ euchre."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Aunt Susan" was dazed. "I didn't know it had anything to do with cards,"
+ she mused, mournfully. "What must they think of me?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ What they thought became quite evident. The newspapers made countless
+ jokes at our expense, and there were significant smiles on the faces in
+ the audience that awaited us the next night. When Miss Anthony walked upon
+ the platform she at once proceeded to clear herself of the tacit charge
+ against her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "When I came to your town," she began, cheerfully, "I had been warned that
+ you were a very religious lot of people. I wanted to impress upon you the
+ fact that Miss Shaw and I are religious, too. But I admit that when I told
+ you she was my right bower I did not know what a right bower was. I have
+ learned that, since last night."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She waited until the happy chortles of her hearers had subsided, and then
+ went on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It interests me very much, however," she concluded, "to realize that
+ every one of you seemed to know all about a right bower, and that I had to
+ come to your good, orthodox town to get the information."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That time the joke was on the audience. Miss Anthony's home was in
+ Rochester, New York, and it was said by our friends that on the rare
+ occasions when we were not together, and I was lecturing independently,
+ "all return roads led through Rochester." I invariably found some excuse
+ to go there and report to her. Together we must have worn out many
+ Rochester pavements, for "Aunt Susan's" pet recreation was walking, and
+ she used to walk me round and round the city squares, far into the night,
+ and at a pace that made policemen gape at us as we flew by. Some disrespectful
+ youth once remarked that on these occasions we suggested a race between a
+ ruler and a rubber ball&mdash;for she was very tall and thin, while I am
+ short and plump. To keep up with her I literally bounded at her side.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A certain amount of independent lecturing was necessary for me, for I had
+ to earn my living. The National American Woman Suffrage Association has
+ never paid salaries to its officers, so, when I became vice-president and
+ eventually, in 1904, president of the association, I continued to work
+ gratuitously for the Cause in these positions. Even Miss Anthony received
+ not one penny of salary for all her years of unceasing labor, and she was
+ so poor that she did not have a home of her own until she was
+ seventy-five. Then it was a very simple one, and she lived with the utmost
+ economy. I decided that I could earn my bare expenses by making one brief
+ lecture tour each year, and I made an arrangement with the Redpath Bureau
+ which left me fully two-thirds of my time for the suffrage work I loved.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This was one result of my all-night talk with Miss Anthony in Chicago, and
+ it enabled me to carry out her plan that I should accompany her in most of
+ the campaigns in which she sought to arouse the West to the need of
+ suffrage for women. From that time on we traveled and lectured together so
+ constantly that each of us developed an almost uncanny knowledge of the
+ other's mental processes. At any point of either's lecture the other could
+ pick it up and carry it on&mdash;a fortunate condition, as it sometimes
+ became necessary to do this. Miss Anthony was subject to contractions of
+ the throat, which for the moment caused a slight strangulation. On such
+ occasions&mdash;of which there were several&mdash;she would turn to me and
+ indicate her helplessness. Then I would repeat her last sentence, complete
+ her speech, and afterward make my own.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The first time this happened we were in Washington, and "Aunt Susan"
+ stopped in the middle of a word. She could not speak; she merely motioned
+ to me to continue for her, and left the stage. At the end of the evening a
+ prominent Washington man who had been in our audience remarked to me,
+ confidentially:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "That was a nice little play you and Miss Anthony made to-night&mdash;very
+ effective indeed."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For an instant I did not catch his meaning, nor the implication in his
+ knowing smile.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Very clever, that strangling bit, and your going on with the speech," he
+ repeated. "It hit the audience hard."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Surely," I protested, "you don't think it was a deliberate thing&mdash;that
+ we planned or rehearsed it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He stared at me incredulously. "Are you going to pretend," he demanded,
+ "that it wasn't a put-up job?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I told him he had paid us a high compliment, and that we must really have
+ done very well if we had conveyed that impression; and I finally convinced
+ him that we not only had not rehearsed the episode, but that neither of us
+ had known what the other meant to say. We never wrote out our speeches,
+ but our subject was always suffrage or some ramification of suffrage, and,
+ naturally, we had thoroughly digested each other's views.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It is said by my friends that I write my speeches on the tips of my
+ fingers&mdash;for I always make my points on my fingers and have my
+ fingers named for points. When I plan a speech I decide how many points I
+ wish to make and what those points shall be. My mental preparation
+ follows. Miss Anthony's method was much the same; but very frequently both
+ of us threw over all our plans at the last moment and spoke
+ extemporaneously on some theme suggested by the atmosphere of the
+ gathering or by the words of another speaker.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From Miss Anthony, more than from any one else, I learned to keep cool in
+ the face of interruptions and of the small annoyances and disasters
+ inevitable in campaigning. Often we were able to help each other out of
+ embarrassing situations, and one incident of this kind occurred during our
+ campaign in South Dakota. We were holding a meeting on the hottest Sunday
+ of the hottest month in the year&mdash;August&mdash;and hundreds of the
+ natives had driven twenty, thirty, and even forty miles across the country
+ to hear us. We were to speak in a sod church, but it was discovered that
+ the structure would not hold half the people who were trying to enter it,
+ so we decided that Miss Anthony should speak from the door, in order that
+ those both inside and outside might hear her. To elevate her above her
+ audience, she was given an empty dry-goods box to stand on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This makeshift platform was not large, and men, women, and children were
+ seated on the ground around it, pressing up against it, as close to the
+ speaker as they could get. Directly in front of Miss Anthony sat a woman
+ with a child about two years old&mdash;a little boy; and this infant, like
+ every one else in the packed throng, was dripping with perspiration and
+ suffering acutely under the blazing sun. Every woman present seemed to
+ have brought children with her, doubtless because she could not leave them
+ alone at home; and babies were crying and fretting on all sides. The
+ infant nearest Miss Anthony fretted most strenuously; he was a sturdy
+ little fellow with a fine pair of lungs, and he made it very difficult for
+ her to lift her voice above his dismal clamor. Suddenly, however, he
+ discovered her feet on the drygoods box, about on a level with his head.
+ They were clad in black stockings and low shoes; they moved about oddly;
+ they fascinated him. With a yelp of interest he grabbed for them and began
+ pinching them to see what they were. His howls ceased; he was happy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Anthony was not. But it was a great relief to have the child quiet,
+ so she bore the infliction of the pinching as long as she could. When
+ endurance had found its limit she slipped back out of reach, and as his
+ new plaything receded the boy uttered shrieks of disapproval. There was
+ only one way to stop his noise; Miss Anthony brought her feet forward
+ again, and he resumed the pinching of her ankles, while his yelps subsided
+ to contented murmurs. The performance was repeated half a dozen times.
+ Each time the ankles retreated the baby yelled. Finally, for once at the
+ end of her patience, "Aunt Susan" leaned forward and addressed the mother,
+ whose facial expression throughout had shown a complete mental detachment
+ from the situation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I think your little boy is hot and thirsty," she said, gently. "If you
+ would take him out of the crowd and give him a drink of water and unfasten
+ his clothes, I am sure he would be more comfortable." Before she had
+ finished speaking the woman had sprung to her feet and was facing her with
+ fierce indignation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "This is the first time I have ever been insulted as a mother," she cried;
+ "and by an old maid at that!" Then she grasped the infant and left the
+ scene, amid great confusion. The majority of those in the audience seemed
+ to sympathize with her. They had not seen the episode of the feet, and
+ they thought Miss Anthony was complaining of the child's crying. Their
+ children were crying, too, and they felt that they had all been
+ criticized. Other women rose and followed the irate mother, and many men
+ gallantly followed them. It seemed clear that motherhood had been
+ outraged.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Anthony was greatly depressed by the episode, and she was not
+ comforted by a prediction one man made after the meeting.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You've lost at least twenty votes by that little affair," he told her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Aunt Susan" sighed. "Well," she said, "if those men knew how my ankles
+ felt I would have won twenty votes by enduring the torture as long as I
+ did."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next day we had a second meeting. Miss Anthony made her speech early
+ in the evening, and by the time it was my turn to begin all the children
+ in the audience&mdash;and there were many&mdash;were both tired and
+ sleepy. At least half a dozen of them were crying, and I had to shout to
+ make my voice heard above their uproar. Miss Anthony remarked afterward
+ that there seemed to be a contest between me and the infants to see which
+ of us could make more noise. The audience was plainly getting restless
+ under the combined effect, and finally a man in the rear rose and added
+ his voice to the tumult.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Say, Miss Shaw," he yelled, "don't you want these children put out?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was our chance to remove the sad impression of yesterday, and I grasped
+ it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No, indeed," I yelled back. "Nothing inspires me like the voice of a
+ child!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A handsome round of applause from mothers and fathers greeted this noble
+ declaration, after which the blessed babies and I resumed our joint vocal
+ efforts. When the speech was finished and we were alone together, Miss
+ Anthony put her arm around my shoulder and drew me to her side.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Well, Anna," she said, gratefully, "you've certainly evened us up on
+ motherhood this time."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That South Dakota campaign was one of the most difficult we ever made. It
+ extended over nine months; and it is impossible to describe the poverty
+ which prevailed throughout the whole rural community of the State. There
+ had been three consecutive years of drought. The sand was like powder, so
+ deep that the wheels of the wagons in which we rode "across country" sank
+ half-way to the hubs; and in the midst of this dry powder lay withered
+ tangles that had once been grass. Every one had the forsaken, desperate
+ look worn by the pioneer who has reached the limit of his endurance, and
+ the great stretches of prairie roads showed innumerable canvas-covered
+ wagons, drawn by starved horses, and followed by starved cows, on their
+ way "Back East." Our talks with the despairing drivers of these wagons are
+ among my most tragic memories. They had lost everything except what they
+ had with them, and they were going East to leave "the woman" with her
+ father and try to find work. Usually, with a look of disgust at his wife,
+ the man would say: "I wanted to leave two years ago, but the woman kept
+ saying, 'Hold on a little longer.'"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Both Miss Anthony and I gloried in the spirit of these pioneer women, and
+ lost no opportunity to tell them so; for we realized what our nation owes
+ to the patience and courage of such as they were. We often asked them what
+ was the hardest thing to bear in their pioneer life, and we usually
+ received the same reply:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "To sit in our little adobe or sod houses at night and listen to the
+ wolves howl over the graves of our babies. For the howl of the wolf is
+ like the cry of a child from the grave."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Many days, and in all kinds of weather, we rode forty and fifty miles in
+ uncovered wagons. Many nights we shared a one-room cabin with all the
+ members of the family. But the greatest hardship we suffered was the lack
+ of water. There was very little good water in the state, and the purest
+ water was so brackish that we could hardly drink it. The more we drank the
+ thirstier we became, and when the water was made into tea it tasted worse
+ than when it was clear. A bath was the rarest of luxuries. The only
+ available fuel was buffalo manure, of which the odor permeated all our
+ food. But despite these handicaps we were happy in our work, for we had
+ some great meetings and many wonderful experiences.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When we reached the Black Hills we had more of this genuine campaigning.
+ We traveled over the mountains in wagons, behind teams of horses, visiting
+ the mining-camps; and often the gullies were so deep that when our horses
+ got into them it was almost impossible to get them out. I recall with
+ special clearness one ride from Hill City to Custer City. It was only a
+ matter of thirty miles, but it was thoroughly exhausting; and after our
+ meeting that same night we had to drive forty miles farther over the
+ mountains to get the early morning train from Buffalo Gap. The trail from
+ Custer City to Buffalo Gap was the one the animals had originally made in
+ their journeys over the pass, and the drive in that wild region,
+ throughout a cold, piercing October night, was an unforgetable experience.
+ Our host at Custer City lent Miss Anthony his big buffalo overcoat, and
+ his wife lent hers to me. They also heated blocks of wood for our feet,
+ and with these protections we started. A full moon hung in the sky. The
+ trees were covered with hoar-frost, and the cold, still air seemed to
+ sparkle in the brilliant light. Again Miss Anthony talked to me throughout
+ the night&mdash;of the work, always of the work, and of what it would mean
+ to the women who followed us; and again she fired my soul with the flame
+ that burned so steadily in her own.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was daylight when we reached the little station at Buffalo Gap where we
+ were to take the train. This was not due, however, for half an hour, and
+ even then it did not come. The station was only large enough to hold the
+ stove, the ticket-office, and the inevitable cuspidor. There was barely
+ room in which to walk between these and the wall. Miss Anthony sat down on
+ the floor. I had a few raisins in my bag, and we divided them for
+ breakfast. An hour passed, and another, and still the train did not come.
+ Miss Anthony, her back braced against the wall, buried her face in her
+ hands and dropped into a peaceful abyss of slumber, while I walked
+ restlessly up and down the platform. The train arrived four hours late,
+ and when eventually we had reached our destination we learned that the
+ ministers of the town had persuaded the women to give up the suffrage
+ meeting scheduled for that night, as it was Sunday.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This disappointment, following our all-day and all-night drive to keep our
+ appointment, aroused Miss Anthony's fighting spirit. She sent me out to
+ rent the theater for the evening, and to have some hand-bills printed and
+ distributed, announcing that we would speak. At three o'clock she made the
+ concession to her seventy years of lying down for an hour's rest. I was
+ young and vigorous, so I trotted around town to get somebody to preside,
+ somebody to introduce us, somebody to take up the collection, and somebody
+ who would provide music&mdash;in short, to make all our preparations for
+ the night meeting.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When evening came the crowd which had assembled was so great that men and
+ women sat in the windows and on the stage, and stood in the flies. Night
+ attractions were rare in that Dakota town, and here was something new.
+ Nobody went to church, so the churches were forced to close. We had a
+ glorious meeting. Both Miss Anthony and I were in excellent fighting trim,
+ and Miss Anthony remarked that the only thing lacking to make me do my
+ best was a sick headache. The collection we took up paid all our expenses,
+ the church singers sang for us, the great audience was interested, and the
+ whole occasion was an inspiring success.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The meeting ended about half after ten o'clock, and I remember taking Miss
+ Anthony to our hotel and escorting her to her room. I also remember that
+ she followed me to the door and made some laughing remark as I left for my
+ own room; but I recall nothing more until the next morning when she stood
+ beside me telling me it was time for breakfast. She had found me lying on
+ the cover of my bed, fully clothed even to my bonnet and shoes. I had
+ fallen there, utterly exhausted, when I entered my room the night before,
+ and I do not think I had even moved from that time until the moment&mdash;nine
+ hours later&mdash;when I heard her voice and felt her hand on my shoulder.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After all our work, we did not win Dakota that year, but Miss Anthony bore
+ the disappointment with the serenity she always showed. To her a failure
+ was merely another opportunity, and I mention our experience here only to
+ show of what she was capable in her gallant seventies. But I should
+ misrepresent her if I did not show her human and sentimental side as well.
+ With all her detachment from human needs she had emotional moments, and of
+ these the most satisfying came when she was listening to music. She knew
+ nothing whatever about music, but was deeply moved by it; and I remember
+ vividly one occasion when Nordica sang for her, at an afternoon reception
+ given by a Chicago friend in "Aunt Susan's" honor. As it happened, she had
+ never heard Nordica sing until that day; and before the music began the
+ great artiste and the great leader met, and in the moment of meeting
+ became friends. When Nordica sang, half an hour later, she sang directly
+ to Miss Anthony, looking into her eyes; and "Aunt Susan" listened with her
+ own eyes full of tears. When the last notes had been sung she went to the
+ singer and put both arms around her. The music had carried her back to her
+ girlhood and to the sentiment of sixteen.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh, Nordica," she sighed, "I could die listening to such singing!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another example of her unquenchable youth has also a Chicago setting.
+ During the World's Fair a certain clergyman made an especially violent
+ stand in favor of closing the Fair grounds on Sunday. Miss Anthony took
+ issue with him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "If I had charge of a young man in Chicago at this time," she told the
+ clergyman, "I would much rather have him locked inside the Fair grounds on
+ Sunday or any other day than have him going about on the outside."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The clergyman was horrified. "Would you like to have a son of yours go to
+ Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show on Sunday?" he demanded.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Of course I would," admitted Miss Anthony. "In fact, I think he would
+ learn more there than from the sermons preached in some churches."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Later this remark was repeated to Colonel Cody ("Buffalo Bill"), who, of
+ course, was delighted with it. He at once wrote to Miss Anthony, thanking
+ her for the breadth of her views, and offering her a box for his "Show."
+ She had no strong desire to see the performance, but some of us urged her
+ to accept the invitation and to take us with her. She was always ready to
+ do anything that would give us pleasure, so she promised that we should go
+ the next afternoon. Others heard of the jaunt and begged to go also, and
+ Miss Anthony blithely took every applicant under her wing, with the result
+ that when we arrived at the box-office the next day there were twelve of
+ us in the group. When she presented her note and asked for a box, the
+ local manager looked doubtfully at the delegation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "A box only holds six," he objected, logically. Miss Anthony, who had
+ given no thought to that slight detail, looked us over and smiled her
+ seraphic smile.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why, in that case," she said, cheerfully, "you'll have to give us two
+ boxes, won't you?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The amused manager decided that he would, and handed her the tickets; and
+ she led her band to their places in triumph. When the performance began
+ Colonel Cody, as was his custom, entered the arena from the far end of the
+ building, riding his wonderful horse and bathed, of course, in the
+ effulgence of his faithful spot-light. He rode directly to our boxes,
+ reined his horse in front of Miss Anthony, rose in his stirrups, and with
+ his characteristic gesture swept his slouch-hat to his saddle-bow in
+ salutation. "Aunt Susan" immediately rose, bowed in her turn and, for the
+ moment as enthusiastic as a girl, waved her handkerchief at him, while the
+ big audience, catching the spirit of the scene, wildly applauded. It was a
+ striking picture this meeting of the pioneer man and woman; and, poor as I
+ am, I would give a hundred dollars for a snapshot of it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On many occasions I saw instances of Miss Anthony's prescience&mdash;and
+ one of these was connected with the death of Frances E. Willard. "Aunt
+ Susan" had called on Miss Willard, and, coming to me from the sick-room,
+ had walked the floor, beating her hands together as she talked of the
+ visit.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Frances Willard is dying," she exclaimed, passionately. "She is dying,
+ and she doesn't know it, and no one around her realizes it. She is lying
+ there, seeing into two worlds, and making more plans than a thousand women
+ could carry out in ten years. Her brain is wonderful. She has the most
+ extraordinary clearness of vision. There should be a stenographer in that
+ room, and every word she utters should be taken down, for every word is
+ golden. But they don't understand. They can't realize that she is going. I
+ told Anna Gordon the truth, but she won't believe it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Willard died a few days later, with a suddenness which seemed to be a
+ terrible shock to those around her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of "Aunt Susan's" really remarkable lack of selfconsciousness we who
+ worked close to her had a thousand extraordinary examples. Once, I
+ remember, at the New Orleans Convention, she reached the hall a little
+ late, and as she entered the great audience already assembled gave her a
+ tremendous reception. The exercises of the day had not yet begun, and Miss
+ Anthony stopped short and looked around for an explanation of the
+ outburst. It never for a moment occurred to her that the tribute was to
+ her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "What has happened, Anna?" she asked at last.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You happened, Aunt Susan," I had to explain.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Again, on the great "College Night" of the Baltimore Convention, when
+ President M. Carey Thomas of Bryn Mawr College had finished her wonderful
+ tribute to Miss Anthony, the audience, carried away by the speech and also
+ by the presence of the venerable leader on the platform, broke into a
+ whirlwind of applause. In this "Aunt Susan" artlessly joined, clapping her
+ hands as hard as she could. "This is all for you, Aunt Susan," I
+ whispered, "so it isn't your time to applaud."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Aunt Susan" continued to clap. "Nonsense," she said, briskly. "It's not
+ for me. It's for the Cause&mdash;the Cause!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Anthony told me in 1904 that she regarded her reception in Berlin,
+ during the meeting of the International Council of Women that year, as the
+ climax of her career. She said it after the unexpected and wonderful
+ ovation she had received from the German people, and certainly throughout
+ her inspiring life nothing had happened that moved her more deeply.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For some time Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt, of whose splendid work for the
+ Cause I shall later have more to say, had cherished the plan of forming an
+ International Suffrage Alliance. She believed the time had come when the
+ suffragists of the entire world could meet to their common benefit; and
+ Miss Anthony, always Mrs. Catt's devoted friend and admirer, agreed with
+ her. A committee was appointed to meet in Berlin in 1904, just before the
+ meeting of the International Council of Women, and Miss Anthony was
+ appointed chairman of the committee. At first the plan of the committee
+ was not welcomed by the International Council; there was even a suspicion
+ that its purpose was to start a rival organization. But it met, a
+ constitution was framed, and officers were elected, Mrs. Catt&mdash;the
+ ideal choice for the place&mdash;being made president. As a climax to the
+ organization, a great public mass-meeting had been arranged by the German
+ suffragists, but at the special plea of the president of the International
+ Council Miss Anthony remained away from this meeting. It was represented
+ to her that the interests of the Council might suffer if she and other of
+ its leading speakers were also leaders in the suffrage movement. In the
+ interest of harmony, there fore, she followed the wishes of the Council's
+ president&mdash;to my great unhappiness and to that of other suffragists.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the meeting was opened the first words of the presiding officer were,
+ "Where is Susan B. Anthony?" and the demonstration that followed the
+ question was the most unexpected and overwhelming incident of the
+ gathering. The entire audience rose, men jumped on their chairs, and the
+ cheering continued without a break for ten minutes. Every second of that
+ time I seemed to see Miss Anthony, alone in her hotel room, longing with
+ all her big heart to be with us, as we longed to have her. I prayed that
+ the loss of a tribute which would have meant so much might be made up to
+ her, and it was. Afterward, when we burst in upon her and told her of the
+ great demonstration the mere mention of her name had caused, her lips
+ quivered and her brave old eyes filled with tears. As we looked at her I
+ think we all realized anew that what the world called stoicism in Susan B.
+ Anthony throughout the years of her long struggle had been, instead, the
+ splendid courage of an indomitable soul&mdash;while all the time the
+ woman's heart had longed for affection and recognition. The next morning
+ the leading Berlin newspaper, in reporting the debate and describing the
+ spontaneous tribute to Miss Anthony, closed with these sentences: "The
+ Americans call her 'Aunt Susan.' She is our 'Aunt Susan,' too!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Throughout the remainder of Miss Anthony's visit she was the most honored
+ figure at the International Council. Every time she entered the great
+ convention-hall the entire audience rose and remained standing until she
+ was seated; each mention of her name was punctuated by cheers; and the
+ enthusiasm when she appeared on the platform to say a few words was beyond
+ bounds. When the Empress of Germany gave her reception to the officers of
+ the Council, she crowned the hospitality of her people in a
+ characteristically gracious way. As soon as Miss Anthony was presented to
+ her the Empress invited her to be seated, and to remain seated, although
+ every one else, including the august lady herself, was standing. A little
+ later, seeing the intrepid warrior of eighty-four on her feet with the
+ other delegates, the Empress sent one of her aides across the room with
+ this message: "Please tell my friend Miss Anthony that I especially wish
+ her to be seated. We must not let her grow weary."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In her turn, Miss Anthony was fascinated by the Empress. She could not
+ keep her eyes off that charming royal lady. Probably the thing that most
+ impressed her was the ability of her Majesty as a linguist. Receiving
+ women from every civilized country on the globe, the Empress seemed to
+ address each in her own tongue-slipping from one language into the next as
+ easily as from one topic to another.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "And here I am," mourned "Aunt Susan," "speaking only one language, and
+ that not very well."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At this Berlin quinquennial, by the way, I preached the Council sermon,
+ and the occasion gained a certain interest from the fact that I was the
+ first ordained woman to preach in a church in Germany. It then took on a
+ tinge of humor from the additional fact that, according to the German law,
+ as suddenly revealed to us by the police, no clergyman was permitted to
+ preach unless clothed in clerical robes in the pulpit. It happened that I
+ had not taken my clerical robes with me&mdash;I am constantly forgetting
+ those clerical robes!&mdash;so the pastor of the church kindly offered me
+ his robes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Now the pastor was six feet tall and broad in proportion, and I, as I have
+ already confessed, am very short. His robes transformed me into such an
+ absurd caricature of a preacher that it was quite impossible for me to
+ wear them. What, then, were we to do? Lacking clerical robes, the police
+ would not allow me to utter six words. It was finally decided that the
+ clergyman should meet the letter of the law by entering the pulpit in his
+ robes and standing by my side while I delivered my sermon. The law soberly
+ accepted this solution of the problem, and we offered the congregation the
+ extraordinary tableau of a pulpit combining a large and impressive pastor
+ standing silently beside a small and inwardly convulsed woman who had all
+ she could do to deliver her sermon with the solemnity the occasion
+ required.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At this same conference I made one of the few friendships I enjoy with a
+ member of a European royal family, for I met the Princess Blank of Italy,
+ who overwhelmed me with attention during my visit, and from whom I still
+ receive charming letters. She invited me to visit her in her castle in
+ Italy, and to accompany her to her mother's castle in Austria, and she
+ finally insisted on knowing exactly why I persistently refused both
+ invitations.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Because, my dear Princess," I explained, "I am a working-woman."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Nobody need KNOW that," murmured the Princess, calmly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "On the contrary," I assured her, "it is the first thing I should
+ explain."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "But why?" the Princess wanted to know.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I studied her in silence for a moment. She was a new and interesting type
+ to me, and I was glad to exchange viewpoints with her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You are proud of your family, are you not?" I asked. "You are proud of
+ your great line?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Princess drew herself up. "Assuredly," she said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Very well," I continued. "I am proud, too. What I have done I have done
+ unaided, and, to be frank with you, I rather approve of it. My work is my
+ patent of nobility, and I am not willing to associate with those from whom
+ it would have to be concealed or with those who would look down upon it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Princess sighed. I was a new type to her, too, as new as she was to
+ me; but I had the advantage of her, for I could understand her point of
+ view, whereas she apparently could not follow mine. She was very gracious
+ to me, however, showing me kindness and friendship in a dozen ways, giving
+ me an immense amount of her time and taking rather more of my time than I
+ could spare, but never forgetting for a moment that her blood was among
+ the oldest in Europe, and that all her traditions were in keeping with its
+ honorable age.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After the Berlin meeting Miss Anthony and I were invited to spend a
+ week-end at the home of Mrs. Jacob Bright, that "Aunt Susan" might renew
+ her acquaintance with Annie Besant. This visit is among my most vivid
+ memories. Originally "Aunt Susan" had greatly admired Mrs. Besant, and had
+ openly lamented the latter's concentration on theosophical interests&mdash;when,
+ as Miss Anthony put it, "there are so many live problems here in this
+ world." Now she could not conceal her disapproval of the
+ "other-worldliness" of Mrs. Besant, Mrs. Bright, and her daughter. Some
+ remarkable and, to me, most amusing discussions took place among the
+ three; but often, during Mrs. Besant's most sustained oratorical flights,
+ Miss Anthony's interest would wander, and she would drop a remark that
+ showed she had not heard a word. She had a great admiration for Mrs.
+ Besant's intellect; but she disapproved of her flowing and picturesque
+ white robes, of her bare feet, of her incessant cigarette-smoking; above
+ all, of her views. At last, one day.{sic} the climax of the discussions
+ came.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Annie," demanded "Aunt Susan," "why don't you make that aura of yours do
+ its gallivanting in this world, looking up the needs of the oppressed, and
+ investigating the causes of present wrongs? Then you could reveal to us
+ workers just what we should do to put things right, and we could be about
+ it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Besant sighed and said that life was short and aeons were long, and
+ that while every one would be perfected some time, it was useless to deal
+ with individuals here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "But, Annie!" exclaimed Miss Anthony, pathetically. "We ARE here! Our
+ business is here! It's our duty to do what we can here."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Besant seemed not to hear her. She was in a trance, gazing into the
+ aeons.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I'd rather have one year of your ability, backed up with common sense,
+ for the work of making this world better," cried the exasperated "Aunt
+ Susan," "than a million aeons in the hereafter!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Besant sighed again. It was plain that she could not bring herself
+ back from the other world, so Miss Anthony, perforce, accompanied her to
+ it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "When your aura goes visiting in the other world," she asked, curiously,
+ "does it ever meet your old friend Charles Bradlaugh?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh yes," declared Mrs. Besant. "Frequently."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Wasn't he very much surprised," demanded Miss Anthony, with growing
+ interest, "to discover that he was not dead?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Besant did not seem to know what emotion Mr. Bradlaugh had
+ experienced when that revelation came.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Well," mused "Aunt Susan," "I should think he would have been surprised.
+ He was so certain he was going to be dead that it must have been
+ astounding to discover he wasn't. What was he doing in the other world?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Besant heaved a deeper sigh. "I am very much discouraged over Mr.
+ Bradlaugh," she admitted, wanly. "He is hovering too near this world. He
+ cannot seem to get away from his mundane interests. He is as much
+ concerned with parliamentary affairs now as when he was on this plane."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Humph!" said Miss Anthony; "that's the most sensible thing I've heard yet
+ about the other world. It encourages me. I've always felt sure that if I
+ entered the other life before women were enfranchised nothing in the
+ glories of heaven would interest me so much as the work for women's
+ freedom on earth. Now," she ended, "I shall be like Mr. Bradlaugh. I shall
+ hover round and continue my work here."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When Mrs. Besant had left the room Mrs. Bright felt that it was her duty
+ to admonish "Aunt Susan" to be more careful in what she said.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You are making too light of her creed," she expostulated. "You do not
+ realize the important position Mrs. Besant holds. Why, in India, when she
+ walks from her home to her school all those she meets prostrate
+ themselves. Even the learned men prostrate themselves and put their faces
+ on the ground as she goes by."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Aunt Susan's" voice, when she replied, took on the tones of one who is
+ sorely tried. "But why in Heaven's name does any sensible Englishwoman
+ want a lot of heathen to prostrate themselves as she goes up the street?"
+ she demanded, wearily. "It's the most foolish thing I ever heard."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The effort to win Miss Anthony over to the theosophical doctrine was
+ abandoned. That night, after we had gone to our rooms, "Aunt Susan" summed
+ up her conclusions on the interview:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It's a good thing for the world," she declared, "that some of us don't
+ know so much. And it's a better thing for this world that some of us think
+ a little earthly common sense is more valuable than too much heavenly
+ knowledge."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ X. THE PASSING OF "AUNT SUSAN"
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ On one occasion Miss Anthony had the doubtful pleasure of reading her own
+ obituary notices, and her interest in them was characteristically naive.
+ She had made a speech at Lakeside, Ohio, during which, for the first time
+ in her long experience, she fainted on the platform. I was not with her at
+ the time, and in the excitement following her collapse it was rumored that
+ she had died. Immediately the news was telegraphed to the Associated Press
+ of New York, and from there flashed over the country. At Miss Anthony's
+ home in Rochester a reporter rang the bell and abruptly informed her
+ sister, Miss Mary Anthony, who came to the door, that "Aunt Susan" was
+ dead. Fortunately Miss Mary had a cool head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I think," she said, "that if my sister had died I would have heard about
+ it. Please have your editors telegraph to Lakeside."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The reporter departed, but came back an hour later to say that his
+ newspaper had sent the telegram and the reply was that Susan B. Anthony
+ was dead.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I have just received a better telegram than that," remarked Mary Anthony.
+ "Mine is from my sister; she tells me that she fainted to-night, but soon
+ recovered and will be home to-morrow."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nevertheless, the next morning the American newspapers gave much space to
+ Miss Anthony's obituary notices, and "Aunt Susan" spent some interesting
+ hours reading them. One that pleased her vastly was printed in the Wichita
+ Eagle, whose editor, Mr. Murdock, had been almost her bitterest opponent.
+ He had often exhausted his brilliant vocabulary in editorial denunciations
+ of suffrage and suffragists, and Miss Anthony had been the special target
+ of his scorn. But the news of her death seemed to be a bitter blow to him;
+ and of all the tributes the American press gave to Susan B. Anthony dead,
+ few equaled in beauty and appreciation the one penned by Mr. Murdock and
+ published in the Eagle. He must have been amused when, a few days later,
+ he received a letter from "Aunt Susan" herself, thanking him warmly for
+ his changed opinion of her and hoping that it meant the conversion of his
+ soul to our Cause. It did not, and Mr. Murdock, though never again quite
+ as bitter as he had been, soon resumed the free editorial expression of
+ his antisuffrage sentiments. Times have changed, however, and to-day his
+ son, now a member of Congress, is one of our strongest supporters in that
+ body.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1905 it became plain that Miss Anthony's health was failing. Her visits
+ to Germany and England the previous year, triumphant though they had been,
+ had also proved a drain on her vitality; and soon after her return to
+ America she entered upon a task which helped to exhaust her remaining
+ strength. She had been deeply interested in securing a fund of $50,000 to
+ enable women to enter Rochester University, and, one morning, just after
+ we had held a session of our executive committee in her Rochester home,
+ she read a newspaper announcement to the effect that at four o'clock that
+ afternoon the opportunity to admit women to the university would expire,
+ as the full fifty thousand dollars had not been raised. The sum of eight
+ thousand dollars was still lacking.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With characteristic energy, Miss Anthony undertook to save the situation
+ by raising this amount within the time limit. Rushing to the telephone,
+ she called a cab and prepared to go forth on her difficult quest; but
+ first, while she was putting on her hat and coat, she insisted that her
+ sister, Mary Anthony, should start the fund by contributing one thousand
+ dollars from her meager savings, and this Miss Mary did. "Aunt Susan" made
+ every second count that day, and by half after three o'clock she had
+ secured the necessary pledges. Several of the trustees of the university,
+ however, had not seemed especially anxious to have the fund raised, and at
+ the last moment they objected to one pledge for a thousand dollars, on the
+ ground that the man who had given it was very old and might die before the
+ time set to pay it; then his family, they feared, might repudiate the
+ obligation. Without a word Miss Anthony seized the pledge and wrote her
+ name across it as an indorsement. "I am good for it," she then said,
+ quietly, "if the gentleman who signed it is not."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That afternoon she returned home greatly fatigued. A few hours later the
+ girl students who had been waiting admission to the university came to
+ serenade her in recognition of her successful work for them, but she was
+ too ill to see them. She was passing through the first stage of what
+ proved to be her final breakdown.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1906, when the date of the annual convention of the National American
+ Woman Suffrage Association in Baltimore was drawing near, she became
+ convinced that it would be her last convention. She was right. She showed
+ a passionate eagerness to make it one of the greatest conventions ever
+ held in the history of the movement; and we, who loved her and saw that
+ the flame of her life was burning low, also bent all our energies to the
+ task of realizing her hopes. In November preceding the convention she
+ visited me and her niece, Miss Lucy Anthony, in our home in Mount Airy,
+ Philadelphia, and it was clear that her anxiety over the convention was
+ weighing heavily upon her. She visibly lost strength from day to day. One
+ morning she said abruptly, "Anna, let's go and call on President M. Carey
+ Thomas, of Bryn Mawr."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I wrote a note to Miss Thomas, telling her of Miss Anthony's desire to see
+ her, and received an immediate reply inviting us to luncheon the following
+ day. We found Miss Thomas deep in the work connected with her new college
+ buildings, over which she showed us with much pride. Miss Anthony, of
+ course, gloried in the splendid results Miss Thomas had achieved, but she
+ was, for her, strangely silent and preoccupied. At luncheon she said:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Miss Thomas, your buildings are beautiful; your new library is a marvel;
+ but they are not the cause of our presence here."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," Miss Thomas said; "I know you have something on your mind. I am
+ waiting for you to tell me what it is."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "We want your co-operation, and that of Miss Garrett," began Miss Anthony,
+ promptly, "to make our Baltimore Convention a success. We want you to
+ persuade the Arundel Club of Baltimore, the most fashionable club in the
+ city, to give a reception to the delegates; and we want you to arrange a
+ college night on the programme&mdash;a great college night, with the best
+ college speakers ever brought together."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ These were large commissions for two extremely busy women, but both Miss
+ Thomas and Miss Garrett&mdash;realizing Miss Anthony's intense earnestness&mdash;promised
+ to think over the suggestions and see what they could do. The next morning
+ we received a telegram from them stating that Miss Thomas would arrange
+ the college evening, and that Miss Garrett would reopen her Baltimore
+ home, which she had closed, during the convention. She also invited Miss
+ Anthony and me to be her guests there, and added that she would try to
+ arrange the reception by the Arundel Club.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Aunt Susan" was overjoyed. I have never seen her happier than she was
+ over the receipt of that telegram. She knew that whatever Miss Thomas and
+ Miss Garrett undertook would be accomplished, and she rightly regarded the
+ success of the convention as already assured. Her expectations were more
+ than realized. The college evening was undoubtedly the most brilliant
+ occasion of its kind ever arranged for a convention. President Ira Remsen
+ of Johns Hopkins University presided, and addresses were made by President
+ Mary E. Woolley of Mount Holyoke, Professor Lucy Salmon of Vassar,
+ Professor Mary Jordan of Smith, President Thomas herself, and many others.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From beginning to end the convention was probably the most notable yet
+ held in our history. Julia Ward Howe and her daughter, Florence Howe Hall,
+ were also guests of Miss Garrett, who, moreover, entertained all the
+ speakers of "College Night." Miss Anthony, now eighty-six, arrived in
+ Baltimore quite ill, and Mrs. Howe, who was ninety, was taken ill soon
+ after she reached there. The two great women made a dramatic exchange on
+ the programme, for on the first night, when Miss Anthony was unable to
+ speak, Mrs. Howe took her place, and on the second night, when Mrs. Howe
+ had succumbed, Miss Anthony had recovered sufficiently to appear for her.
+ Clara Barton was also an honored figure at the convention, and Miss
+ Anthony's joy in the presence of all these old and dear friends was
+ overflowing. With them, too, were the younger women, ready to take up and
+ carry on the work the old leaders were laying down; and "Aunt Susan," as
+ she surveyed them all, felt like a general whose superb army is passing in
+ review before him. At the close of the college programme, when the final
+ address had been made by Miss Thomas, Miss Anthony rose and in a few words
+ expressed her feeling that her life-work was done, and her consciousness
+ of the near approach of the end. After that night she was unable to
+ appear, and was indeed so ill that she was confined to her bed in Miss
+ Garrett's most hospitable home. Nothing could have been more thoughtful or
+ more beautiful than the care Miss Garrett and Miss Thomas bestowed on her.
+ They engaged for her one of the best physicians in Baltimore, who, in
+ turn, consulted with the leading specialists of Johns Hopkins, and they
+ also secured a trained nurse. This final attention required special tact,
+ for Miss Anthony's fear of "giving trouble" was so great that she was not
+ willing to have a nurse. The nurse, therefore, wore a housemaid's uniform,
+ and "Aunt Susan" remained wholly unconscious that she was being cared for
+ by one of the best nurses in the famous hospital.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Between sessions of the convention I used to sit by "Aunt Susan's" bed and
+ tell her what was going on. She was triumphant over the immense success of
+ the convention, but it was clear that she was still worrying over the
+ details of future work. One day at luncheon Miss Thomas asked me,
+ casually:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "By the way, how do you raise the money to carry on your work?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I told her the work was wholly dependent on voluntary contributions
+ and on the services of those who were willing to give themselves
+ gratuitously to it, Miss Thomas was greatly surprised. She and Miss
+ Garrett asked a number of practical questions, and at the end of our talk
+ they looked at each other.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I don't think," said Miss Thomas, "that we have quite done our duty in
+ this matter."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next day they invited a number of us to dinner, to again discuss the
+ situation; and they admitted that they had sat up throughout the previous
+ night, talking the matter over and trying to find some way to help us.
+ They had also discussed the situation with Miss Anthony, to her vast
+ content, and had finally decided that they would try to raise a fund of
+ $60,000, to be paid in yearly instalments of $12,000 for five years&mdash;part
+ of these annual instalments to be used as salaries for the active
+ officers. The mere mention of so large a fund startled us all. We feared
+ that it could not possibly be raised. But Miss Anthony plainly believed
+ that now the last great wish of her life had been granted. She was
+ convinced that Miss Thomas and Miss Garrett could accomplish anything&mdash;even
+ the miracle of raising $60,000 for the suffrage cause&mdash;and they did,
+ though "Aunt Susan" was not here to glory over the result when they had
+ achieved it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the 15th of February we left Baltimore for Washington, where Miss
+ Anthony was to celebrate her eighty-sixth birthday. For many years the
+ National American Woman Suffrage Association had celebrated our birthdays
+ together, as hers came on the 15th of the month and mine on the 14th.
+ There had been an especially festive banquet when she was seventy-four and
+ I was forty-seven, and our friends had decorated the table with floral
+ "4's" and "7's"&mdash;the centerpiece representing "74" during the first
+ half of the banquet, and "47" the latter half. This time "Aunt Susan"
+ should not have attempted the Washington celebration, for she was still
+ ill and exhausted by the strain of the convention. But notwithstanding her
+ sufferings and the warnings of her physicians, she insisted on being
+ present; so Miss Garrett sent the trained nurse to Washington with her,
+ and we all tried to make the journey the least possible strain on the
+ patient's vitality.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On our arrival in Washington we went to the Shoreham, where, as always,
+ the proprietor took pains to give Miss Anthony a room with a view of the
+ Washington monument, which she greatly admired. When I entered her room a
+ little later I found her standing at a window, holding herself up with
+ hands braced against the casement on either side, and so absorbed in the
+ view that she did not hear my approach. When I spoke to her she answered
+ without turning her head.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "That," she said, softly, "is the most beautiful monument in the world."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I stood by her side, and together we looked at it in silence I realizing
+ with a sick heart that "Aunt Susan" knew she was seeing it for the last
+ time.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The birthday celebration that followed our executive meeting was an
+ impressive one. It was held in the Church of Our Father, whose pastor, the
+ Rev. John Van Schaick, had always been exceedingly kind to Miss Anthony.
+ Many prominent men spoke. President Roosevelt and other statesmen sent
+ most friendly letters, and William H. Taft had promised to be present. He
+ did not come, nor did he, then or later, send any excuse for not coming&mdash;an
+ omission that greatly disappointed Miss Anthony, who had always admired
+ him. I presided at the meeting, and though we all did our best to make it
+ gay, a strange hush hung over the assemblage a solemn stillness, such as
+ one feels in the presence of death. We became more and more conscious that
+ Miss Anthony was suffering, and we hastened the exercises all we could.
+ When I read President Roosevelt's long tribute to her, Miss Anthony rose
+ to comment on it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "One word from President Roosevelt in his message to Congress," she said,
+ a little wearily, "would be worth a thousand eulogies of Susan B. Anthony.
+ When will men learn that what we ask is not praise, but justice?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the close of the meeting, realizing how weak she was, I begged her to
+ let me speak for her. But she again rose, rested her hand on my shoulder,
+ and, standing by my side, uttered the last words she ever spoke in public,
+ pleading with women to consecrate themselves to the Cause, assuring them
+ that no power could prevent its ultimate success, but reminding them also
+ that the time of its coming would depend wholly on their work and their
+ loyalty. She ended with three words&mdash;very fitting words from her
+ lips, expressing as they did the spirit of her life-work&mdash;"FAILURE IS
+ IMPOSSIBLE."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next morning she was taken to her home in Rochester, and one month
+ from that day we conducted her funeral services. The nurse who had
+ accompanied her from Baltimore remained with her until two others had been
+ secured to take her place, and every care that love or medical science
+ could suggest was lavished on the patient. But from the first it was plain
+ that, as she herself had foretold, "Aunt Susan's" soul was merely waiting
+ for the hour of its passing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ One of her characteristic traits was a dislike to being seen, even by
+ those nearest to her, when she was not well. During the first three weeks
+ of her last illness, therefore, I did what she wished me to do&mdash;I
+ continued our work, trying to do hers as well as my own. But all the time
+ my heart was in her sick-room, and at last the day came when I could no
+ longer remain away from her. I had awakened in the morning with a strong
+ conviction that she needed me, and at the breakfast-table I announced to
+ her niece, Miss Lucy Anthony, the friend who for years has shared my home,
+ that I was going at once to "Aunt Susan."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I shall not even wait to telegraph," I declared. "I am sure she has sent
+ for me; I shall take the first train."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The journey brought me very close to death. As we were approaching
+ Wilkes-Barre our train ran into a wagon loaded with powder and dynamite,
+ which had been left on the track. The horses attached to it had been
+ unhitched by their driver, who had spent his time in this effort, when he
+ saw the train coming, instead of in signaling to the engineer. I was on my
+ way to the dining-car when the collision occurred, and, with every one
+ else who happened to be standing, I was hurled to the floor by the impact;
+ flash after flash of blinding light outside, accompanied by a terrific
+ roar, added to the panic of the passengers. When the train stopped we
+ learned how narrow had been our escape from an especially unpleasant form
+ of death. The dynamite in the wagon was frozen, and therefore had not
+ exploded; it was the explosion of the powder that had caused the flashes
+ and the din. The dark-green cars were burned almost white, and as we stood
+ staring at them, a silent, stunned group, our conductor said, quietly,
+ "You will never be as near death again, and escape, as you have been
+ to-day."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The accident caused a long delay, and it was ten o'clock at night when I
+ reached Rochester and Miss Anthony's home. As I entered the house Miss
+ Mary Anthony rose in surprise to greet me.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "How did you get here so soon?" she cried. And then: "We sent for you this
+ afternoon. Susan has been asking for you all day."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I reached my friend's bedside one glance at her face showed me the
+ end was near; and from that time until it came, almost a week later, I
+ remained with her; while again, as always, she talked of the Cause, and of
+ the life-work she must now lay down. The first thing she spoke of was her
+ will, which she had made several years before, and in which she had left
+ the small property she possessed to her sister Mary, her niece Lucy, and
+ myself, with instructions as to the use we three were to make of it. Now
+ she told me we were to pay no attention to these instructions, but to give
+ every dollar of her money to the $60,000 fund Miss Thomas and Miss Garrett
+ were trying to raise. She was vitally interested in this fund, as its
+ success meant that for five years the active officers of the National
+ American Woman Suffrage Association, including myself as president, would
+ for the first time receive salaries for our work. When she had given her
+ instructions on this point she still seemed depressed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I wish I could live on," she said, wistfully. "But I cannot. My spirit is
+ eager and my heart is as young as it ever was, but my poor old body is
+ worn out. Before I go I want you to give me a promise: Promise me that you
+ will keep the presidency of the association as long as you are well enough
+ to do the work."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "But how can I promise that?" I asked. "I can keep it only as long as
+ others wish me to keep it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Promise to make them wish you to keep it," she urged. "Just as I wish you
+ to keep it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I would have promised her anything then. So, though I knew that to hold
+ the presidency would tie me to a position that brought in no living
+ income, and though for several years past I had already drawn alarmingly
+ upon my small financial reserve, I promised her that I would hold the
+ office as long as the majority of the women in the association wished me
+ to do so. "But," I added, "if the time comes when I believe that some one
+ else can do better work in the presidency than I, then let me feel at
+ liberty to resign it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This did not satisfy her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No, no," she objected. "You cannot be the judge of that. Promise me you
+ will remain until the friends you most trust tell you it is time to
+ withdraw, or make you understand that it is time. Promise me that."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I made the promise. She seemed content, and again began to talk of the
+ future.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "You will not have an easy path," she warned me. "In some ways it will be
+ harder for you than it has ever been for me. I was so much older than the
+ rest of you, and I had been president so long, that you girls have all
+ been willing to listen to me. It will be different with you. Other women
+ of your own age have been in the work almost as long as you have been; you
+ do not stand out from them by age or length of service, as I did. There
+ will be inevitable jealousies and misunderstandings; there will be all
+ sorts of criticism and misrepresentation. My last word to you is this: No
+ matter what is done or is not done, how you are criticized or
+ misunderstood, or what efforts are made to block your path, remember that
+ the only fear you need have is the fear of not standing by the thing you
+ believe to be right. Take your stand and hold it; then let come what will,
+ and receive blows like a good soldier."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was too much overcome to answer her; and after a moment of silence she,
+ in her turn, made me a promise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I do not know anything about what comes to us after this life ends," she
+ said. "But if there is a continuance of life beyond it, and if I have any
+ conscious knowledge of this world and of what you are doing, I shall not
+ be far away from you; and in times of need I will help you all I can. Who
+ knows? Perhaps I may be able to do more for the Cause after I am gone than
+ while I am here."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Nine years have passed since then, and in each day of them all it seems to
+ me, in looking back, I have had some occasion to recall her words. When
+ they were uttered I did not fully comprehend all they meant, or the
+ clearness of the vision that had suggested them. It seemed to me that no
+ position I could hold would be of sufficient importance to attract
+ jealousy or personal attacks. The years have brought more wisdom; I have
+ learned that any one who assumes leadership, or who, like myself, has had
+ leadership forced upon her, must expect to bear many things of which the
+ world knows nothing. But with this knowledge, too, has come the memory of
+ "Aunt Susan's" last promise, and again and yet again in hours of
+ discouragement and despair I have been helped by the blessed conviction
+ that she was keeping it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During the last forty-eight hours of her life she was unwilling that I
+ should leave her side. So day and night I knelt by her bed, holding her
+ hand and watching the flame of her wonderful spirit grow dim. At times,
+ even then, it blazed up with startling suddenness. On the last afternoon
+ of her life, when she had lain quiet for hours, she suddenly began to
+ utter the names of the women who had worked with her, as if in a final
+ roll-call. Many of them had preceded her into the next world; others were
+ still splendidly active in the work she was laying down. But young or old,
+ living or dead, they all seemed to file past her dying eyes that day in an
+ endless, shadowy review, and as they went by she spoke to each of them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Not all the names she mentioned were known in suffrage ranks; some of
+ these women lived only in the heart of Susan B. Anthony, and now, for the
+ last time, she was thanking them for what they had done. Here was one who,
+ at a moment of special need, had given her small savings; here was another
+ who had won valuable recruits to the Cause; this one had written a strong
+ editorial; that one had made a stirring speech. In these final hours it
+ seemed that not a single sacrifice or service, however small, had been
+ forgotten by the dying leader. Last of all, she spoke to the women who had
+ been on her board and had stood by her loyally so long&mdash;Rachel Foster
+ Avery, Alice Stone Blackwell, Carrie Chapman Catt, Mrs. Upton, Laura Clay,
+ and others. Then, after lying in silence for a long time with her cheek on
+ my hand, she murmured: "They are still passing before me&mdash;face after
+ face, hundreds and hundreds of them, representing all the efforts of fifty
+ years. I know how hard they have worked I know the sacrifices they have
+ made. But it has all been worth while!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Just before she lapsed into unconsciousness she seemed restless and
+ anxious to say something, searching my face with her dimming eyes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Do you want me to repeat my promise?" I asked, for she had already made
+ me do so several times. She made a sign of assent, and I gave her the
+ assurance she desired. As I did so she raised my hand to her lips and
+ kissed it&mdash;her last conscious action. For more than thirty hours
+ after that I knelt by her side, but though she clung to my hand until her
+ own hand grew cold, she did not speak again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She had told me over and over how much our long friendship and association
+ had meant to her, and the comfort I had given her. But whatever I may have
+ been to her, it was as nothing compared with what she was to me. Kneeling
+ close to her as she passed away, I knew that I would have given her a
+ dozen lives had I had them, and endured a thousand times more hardship
+ than we had borne together, for the inspiration of her companionship and
+ the joy of her affection. They were the greatest blessings I have had in
+ all my life, and I cherish as my dearest treasure the volume of her
+ History of Woman Suffrage on the fly-leaf of which she had written this
+ inscription:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ REVEREND ANNA HOWARD SHAW:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This huge volume IV I present to you with the love that a mother beareth,
+ and I hope you will find in it the facts about women, for you will find
+ them nowhere else. Your part will be to see that the four volumes are duly
+ placed in the libraries of the country, where every student of history may
+ have access to them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With unbounded love and faith,
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ SUSAN B. ANTHONY.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That final line is still my greatest comfort. When I am misrepresented or
+ misunderstood, when I am accused of personal ambition or of working for
+ personal ends, I turn to it and to similar lines penned by the same hand,
+ and tell myself that I should not allow anything to interfere with the
+ serenity of my spirit or to disturb me in my work. At the end of eighteen
+ years of the most intimate companionship, the leader of our Cause, the
+ greatest woman I have ever known, still felt for me "unbounded love and
+ faith." Having had that, I have had enough.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For two days after "Aunt Susan's" death she lay in her own home, as if in
+ restful slumber, her face wearing its most exquisite look of peaceful
+ serenity; and here her special friends, the poor and the unfortunate of
+ the city, came by hundreds to pay their last respects. On the third day
+ there was a public funeral, held in the Congregational church, and, though
+ a wild blizzard was raging, every one in Rochester seemed included in the
+ great throng of mourners who came to her bier in reverence and left it in
+ tears. The church services were conducted by the pastor, the Rev. C. C.
+ Albertson, a lifelong friend of Miss Anthony's, assisted by the Rev.
+ William C. Gannett. James G. Potter, the Mayor of the city, and Dr. Rush
+ Rhees, president of Rochester University, occupied prominent places among
+ the distinguished mourners, and Mrs. Jerome Jeffries, the head of a
+ colored school, spoke in behalf of the negro race and its recognition of
+ Miss Anthony's services. College clubs, medical societies, and reform
+ groups were represented by delegates sent from different states, and Miss
+ Anna Gordon had come on from Illinois to represent the Woman's National
+ Christian Temperance Union. Mrs. Catt delivered a eulogy in which she
+ expressed the love and recognition of the organized suffrage women of the
+ world for Miss Anthony, as the one to whom they had all looked as their
+ leader. William Lloyd Garrison spoke of Miss Anthony's work with his
+ father and other antislavery leaders, and Mrs. Jean Brooks Greenleaf spoke
+ in behalf of the New York State Suffrage Association. Then, as "Aunt
+ Susan" had requested, I made the closing address. She had asked me to do
+ this and to pronounce the benediction, as well as to say the final words
+ at her grave.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was estimated that more than ten thousand persons were assembled in and
+ around the church, and after the benediction those who had been patiently
+ waiting out in the storm were permitted to pass inside in single file for
+ a last look at their friend. They found the coffin covered by a large
+ American flag, on which lay a wreath of laurel and palms; around it stood
+ a guard of honor composed of girl students of Rochester University in
+ their college caps and gowns. All day students had mounted guard,
+ relieving one another at intervals. On every side there were flowers and
+ floral emblems sent by various organizations, and just over "Aunt Susan's"
+ head floated the silk flag given to her by the women of Colorado. It
+ contained four gold stars, representing the four enfranchised states,
+ while the other stars were in silver. On her breast was pinned the jeweled
+ flag given to her on her eightieth birthday by the women of Wyoming&mdash;the
+ first place in the world where in the constitution of the state women were
+ given equal political rights with men. Here the four stars representing
+ the enfranchised states were made of diamonds, the others of silver
+ enamel. Just before the lid was fastened on the coffin this flag was
+ removed and handed to Mary Anthony, who presented it to me. From that day
+ I have worn it on every occasion of importance to our Cause, and each time
+ a state is won for woman suffrage I have added a new diamond star. At the
+ time I write this&mdash;in 1914&mdash;there are twelve.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As the funeral procession went through the streets of Rochester it was
+ seen that all the city flags were at half-mast, by order of the City
+ Council. Many houses were draped in black, and the grief of the citizens
+ manifested itself on every side. All the way to Mount Hope Cemetery the
+ snow whirled blindingly around us, while the masses that had fallen
+ covered the earth as far as we could see a fitting winding-sheet for the
+ one who had gone. Under the fir-trees around her open grave I obeyed "Aunt
+ Susan's" wish that I should utter the last words spoken over her body as
+ she was laid to rest:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Dear friend," I said, "thou hast tarried with us long. Now thou hast gone
+ to thy well-earned rest. We beseech the Infinite Spirit Who has upheld
+ thee to make us worthy to follow in thy steps and to carry on thy work.
+ Hail and farewell."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XI. THE WIDENING SUFFRAGE STREAM
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ In my chapters on Miss Anthony I bridged the twenty years between 1886 and
+ 1906, omitting many of the stirring suffrage events of that long period,
+ in my desire to concentrate on those which most vitally concerned her. I
+ must now retrace my steps along the widening suffrage stream and describe,
+ consecutively at least, and as fully as these incomplete reminiscences
+ will permit, other incidents that occurred on its banks.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of these the most important was the union in 1889 of the two great
+ suffrage societies&mdash;the American Association, of which Lucy Stone was
+ the president, and the National Association, headed by Susan B. Anthony
+ and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. At a convention held in Washington these
+ societies were merged as The National American Woman Suffrage Association&mdash;the
+ name our association still bears&mdash;and Mrs. Stanton was elected
+ president. She was then nearly eighty and past active work, but she made a
+ wonderful presiding officer at our subsequent meetings, and she was as
+ picturesque as she was efficient.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Anthony, who had an immense admiration for her and a great personal
+ pride in her, always escorted her to the capital, and, having worked her
+ utmost to make the meeting a success, invariably gave Mrs. Stanton credit
+ for all that was accomplished. She often said that Mrs. Stanton was the
+ brains of the new association, while she herself was merely its hands and
+ feet; but in truth the two women worked marvelously together, for Mrs.
+ Stanton was a master of words and could write and speak to perfection of
+ the things Susan B. Anthony saw and felt but could not herself express.
+ Usually Miss Anthony went to Mrs. Stanton's house and took charge of it
+ while she stimulated the venerable president to the writing of her annual
+ address. Then, at the subsequent convention, she would listen to the
+ report with as much delight and pleasure as if each word of it had been
+ new to her. Even after Mrs. Stanton's resignation from the presidency&mdash;at
+ the end, I think, of three years&mdash;and Miss Anthony's election as her
+ successor, "Aunt Susan" still went to her old friend whenever an important
+ resolution was to be written, and Mrs. Stanton loyally drafted it for her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Stanton was the most brilliant conversationalist I have ever known;
+ and the best talk I have heard anywhere was that to which I used to listen
+ in the home of Mrs. Eliza Wright Osborne, in Auburn, New York, when Mrs.
+ Stanton, Susan B. Anthony, Emily Howland, Elizabeth Smith Miller, Ida
+ Husted Harper, Miss Mills, and I were gathered there for our occasional
+ week-end visits. Mrs. Osborne inherited her suffrage sympathies, for she
+ was the daughter of Martha Wright, who, with Mrs. Stanton and Lucretia
+ Mott, called the first suffrage convention in Seneca Falls, New York. I
+ must add in passing that her son, Thomas Mott Osborne, who is doing such
+ admirable work in prison reform at Sing Sing, has shown himself worthy of
+ the gifted and high-minded mother who gave him to the world.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Most of the conversation in Mrs. Osborne's home was contributed by Mrs.
+ Stanton and Miss Anthony, while the rest of us sat, as it were, at their
+ feet. Many human and feminine touches brightened the lofty discussions
+ that were constantly going on, and the varied characteristics of our
+ leaders cropped up in amusing fashion. Mrs. Stanton, for example, was
+ rarely accurate in giving figures or dates, while Miss Anthony was always
+ very exact in such matters. She frequently corrected Mrs. Stanton's
+ statements, and Mrs. Stanton usually took the interruption in the best
+ possible spirit, promptly admitting that "Aunt Susan" knew best. On one
+ occasion I recall, however, she held fast to her opinion that she was
+ right as to the month in which a certain incident had occurred.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No, Susan," she insisted, "you're wrong for once. I remember perfectly
+ when that happened, for it was at the time I was beginning to wean
+ Harriet."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Aunt Susan, though somewhat staggered by the force of this testimony,
+ still maintained that Mrs. Stanton must be mistaken, whereupon the latter
+ repeated, in exasperation, "I tell you it happened when I was weaning
+ Harriet." And she added, scornfully, "What event have you got to reckon
+ from?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Anthony meekly subsided.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mrs. Stanton had wonderful blue eyes, which held to the end of her life an
+ expression of eternal youth. During our conventions she usually took a
+ little nap in the afternoon, and when she awoke her blue eyes always had
+ an expression of pleased and innocent surprise, as if she were gazing on
+ the world for the first time&mdash;the round, unwinking, interested look a
+ baby's eyes have when something attractive is held up before them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Let me give in a paragraph, before I swing off into the bypaths that
+ always allure me, the consecutive suffrage events of the past quarter of a
+ century. Having done this, I can dwell on each as casually as I choose,
+ for it is possible to describe only a few incidents here and there; and I
+ shall not be departing from the story of my life, for my life had become
+ merged in the suffrage cause.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Of the preliminary suffrage campaigns in Kansas, made in company with
+ "Aunt Susan," I have already written, and it remains only to say that
+ during the second Kansas campaign yellow was adopted as the suffrage
+ color. In 1890, '92, and '93 we again worked in Kansas and in South
+ Dakota, with such indefatigable and brilliant speakers as Mrs. Catt (to
+ whose efforts also were largely due the winning of Colorado in '93), Mrs.
+ Laura Johns of Kansas, Mrs. Julia Nelson, Henry B. Blackwell, Dr. Helen V.
+ Putnam of Dakota, Mrs. Emma Smith DeVoe, Rev. Olympia Browne of Wisconsin,
+ and Dr. Mary Seymour Howell of New York. In '94, '95, and '96 special
+ efforts were devoted to Idaho, Utah, California, and Washington, and from
+ then on our campaigns were waged steadily in the Western states.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Colorado victory gave us two full suffrage states, for in 1869 the
+ Territory of Wyoming had enfranchised women under very interesting
+ conditions, not now generally remembered. The achievement was due to the
+ influence of one woman, Esther Morris, a pioneer who was as good a
+ neighbor as she was a suffragist. In those early days, in homes far from
+ physicians and surgeons, the women cared for one another in sickness, and
+ Esther Morris, as it happened, once took full and skilful charge of a
+ neighbor during the difficult birth of the latter's child. She had done
+ the same thing for many other women, but this woman's husband was
+ especially grateful. He was also a member of the Legislature, and he told
+ Mrs. Morris that if there was any measure she wished put through for the
+ women of the territory he would be glad to introduce it. She immediately
+ took him at his word by asking him to introduce a bill enfranchising
+ women, and he promptly did so.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Legislature was Democratic, and it pounced upon the measure as a huge
+ joke. With the amiable purpose of embarrassing the Governor of the
+ territory, who was a Republican and had been appointed by the President,
+ the members passed the bill and put it up to him to veto. To their
+ combined horror and amazement, the young Governor did nothing of the kind.
+ He had come, as it happened, from Salem, Ohio, one of the first towns in
+ the United States in which a suffrage convention was held. There, as a
+ boy, he had heard Susan B. Anthony make a speech, and he had carried into
+ the years the impression it made upon him. He signed that bill; and, as
+ the Legislature could not get a two-thirds vote to kill it, the disgusted
+ members had to make the best of the matter. The following year a Democrat
+ introduced a bill to repeal the measure, but already public sentiment had
+ changed and he was laughed down. After that no further effort was ever
+ made to take the ballot away from the women of Wyoming.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the territory applied for statehood, it was feared that the
+ woman-suffrage clause in the constitution might injure its chance of
+ admission, and the women sent this telegram to Joseph M. Carey:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Drop us if you must. We can trust the men of Wyoming to enfranchise us
+ after our territory becomes a state."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mr. Carey discussed this telegram with the other men who were urging upon
+ Congress the admission of their territory, and the following reply went
+ back:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "We may stay out of the Union a hundred years, but we will come in with
+ our women."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There is great inspiration in those two messages&mdash;and a great lesson,
+ as well.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1894 we conducted a campaign in New York, when an effort was made to
+ secure a clause to enfranchise women in the new state constitution; and
+ for the first time in the history of the woman-suffrage movement many of
+ the influential women in the state and city of New York took an active
+ part in the work. Miss Anthony was, as always, our leader and greatest
+ inspiration. Mrs. John Brooks Greenleaf was state president, and Miss Mary
+ Anthony was the most active worker in the Rochester headquarters. Mrs.
+ Lily Devereaux Blake had charge of the campaign in New York City, and Mrs.
+ Marianna Chapman looked after the Brooklyn section, while a most
+ stimulating sign of the times was the organization of a committee of New
+ York women of wealth and social influence, who established their
+ headquarters at Sherry's. Among these were Mrs. Josephine Shaw Lowell,
+ Mrs. Joseph H. Choate, Dr. Mary Putnam Jacobi, Mrs. J. Warren Goddard, and
+ Mrs. Robert Abbe. Miss Anthony, then in her seventy-fifth year, spoke in
+ every county of the state sixty in all. I spoke in forty, and Mrs. Catt,
+ as always, made a superb record. Miss Harriet May Mills, a graduate of
+ Cornell, and Miss Mary G. Hay, did admirable organization work in the
+ different counties. Our disappointment over the result was greatly soothed
+ by the fact that only two years later both Idaho and Utah swung into line
+ as full suffrage states, though California, in which we had labored with
+ equal zeal, waited fifteen years longer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Among these campaigns, and overlapping them, were our annual conventions&mdash;each
+ of which I attended from 1888 on&mdash;and the national and international
+ councils, to a number of which, also, I have given preliminary mention.
+ When Susan B. Anthony died in 1906, four American states had granted
+ suffrage to woman. At the time I write&mdash;1914&mdash;the result of the
+ American women's work for suffrage may be briefly tabulated thus:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ SUFFRAGE STATUS
+
+ FULL SUFFRAGE FOR WOMEN
+
+ Number of
+ State Year Won Electoral Votes
+ Wyoming 1869 3
+ Colorado 1893 6
+ Idaho 1896 4
+ Utah 1896 4
+ Washington 1910 7
+ California 1911 13
+ Arizona 1912 3
+ Kansas 1912 10
+ Oregon 1912 5
+ Alaska 1913 &mdash;
+ Nevada 1914 3
+ Montana 1914 4
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ PRESIDENTIAL AND MUNICIPAL SUFFRAGE FOR WOMEN
+ Number of
+ State Year Won Electoral Votes
+
+ Illinois 1913 29
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ STATES WHERE AMENDMENT HAS PASSED ONE LEGISLATURE AND
+ MUST PASS ANOTHER
+
+ Number Goes to
+ State House Senate Voters Electoral Votes
+ Iowa 81-26 31-15 1916 13
+ Massachusetts 169-39 34-2 1915 18
+ New Jersey 49-4 15-3 1915 14
+ New York 125-5 40-2 1915 45
+ North Dakota 77-29 31-19 1916 5
+ Pennsylvania 131-70 26-22 1915 38
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ To tabulate the wonderful work done by the
+ conventions and councils is not possible, but a con
+ secutive list of the meetings would run like this:
+</pre>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ First National Convention, Washington, D.C., 1887.
+ First International Council of Women, Washington, D.C., 1888.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1889.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1890.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1891.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1892.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1893.
+ International Council, Chicago, 1893.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1894.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Atlanta, Ga., 1895.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1896.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Des Moines, Iowa, 1897.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1898.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Grand Rapids, Mich., 1899.
+ International Council, London, England, 1899.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1900.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Minneapolis, Minn., 1901.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1902.
+ National Suffrage Convention, New Orleans, La., 1903.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1904.
+ International Council of Women, Berlin, Germany, 1904.
+ Formation of Intern'l Suffrage Alliance, Berlin, Germany, 1904.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Portland, Oregon, 1905.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Baltimore, Md., 1906.
+ International Suffrage Alliance, Copenhagen, Denmark, 1906.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Chicago, III., 1907.
+ International Suffrage Alliance, Amsterdam, Holland, 1908.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Buffalo, N. Y., 1908.
+ New York Headquarters established, 1909.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Seattle, Wash., 1909.
+ International Suffrage Alliance, London, England, 1909.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C., 1910.
+ International Council, Genoa, Italy, 1911.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Louisville, Ky., 1911.
+ International Suffrage Alliance, Stockholm, Sweden, 1911.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Philadelphia, Pa., 1912.
+ International Council, The Hague, Holland, 1913
+ National Suffrage Convention, Washington, D.C.; 1913.
+ International Suffrage Alliance, Budapest, Hungary, 1913.
+ National Suffrage Convention, Nashville, Tenn., 1914.
+ International Council, Rome, Italy, 1914.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ The winning of the suffrage states, the work in the states not yet won,
+ the conventions, gatherings, and international councils in which women of
+ every nation have come together, have all combined to make this quarter of
+ a century the most brilliant period for women in the history of the world.
+ I have set forth the record baldly and without comment, because the bare
+ facts are far more eloquent than words. It must not be forgotten, too,
+ that these great achievements of the progressive women of to-day have been
+ accomplished against the opposition of a large number of their own sex&mdash;who,
+ while they are out in the world's arena fighting against progress for
+ their sisters, still shatter the ear-drum with their incongruous war-cry,
+ "Woman's place is in the home!" here: We were attending the Republican
+ state nominating convention at Mitchell&mdash;Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt,
+ other leaders, and myself&mdash;having been told that it would be at once
+ the largest and the most interesting gathering ever held in the state as
+ it proved to be. All the leading politicians of the state were there, and
+ in the wake of the white men had come tribes of Indians with their camp
+ outfits, their wives and their children&mdash;the groups forming a
+ picturesque circle of tents and tepees around the town. It was a great
+ occasion for them, an Indian powwow, for by the law all Indians who had
+ lands in severalty were to be permitted to vote the following year. They
+ were present, therefore, to study the ways of the white man, and an
+ edifying exhibition of these was promptly offered them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The crowd was so great that it was only through the courtesy of Major
+ Pickler, a member of Congress and a devoted believer in suffrage, that
+ Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt, and the rest of us were able to secure passes to
+ the convention, and when we reached the hall we were escorted to the last
+ row of seats on the crowded platform. As the space between us and the
+ speakers was filled by rows upon rows of men, as well as by the band and
+ their instruments, we could see very little that took place. Some of our
+ friends pointed out this condition to the local committee and asked that
+ we be given seats on the floor, but received the reply that there was
+ "absolutely no room on the floor except for delegates and distinguished
+ visitors." Our persistent friends then suggested that at least a front
+ seat should be given to Miss Anthony, who certainly came under the head of
+ a "distinguished visitor"; but this was not done&mdash;probably because a
+ large number of the best seats were filled by Russian laborers wearing
+ badges inscribed "Against Woman Suffrage and Susan B. Anthony." We
+ remained, perforce, in our rear seats, finding such interest as we could
+ in the back view of hundreds of heads.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Just before the convention was called to order it was announced that a
+ delegation of influential Indians was waiting outside, and a motion to
+ invite the red men into the hall was made and carried with great
+ enthusiasm. A committee of leading citizens was appointed to act as
+ escort, and these gentlemen filed out, returning a few moments later with
+ a party of Indian warriors in full war regalia, even to their gay
+ blankets, their feathered head-dresses, and their paint. When they
+ appeared the band struck up a stirring march of welcome, and the entire
+ audience cheered while the Indians, flanked by the admiring committee,
+ stalked solemnly down the aisle and were given seats of honor directly in
+ front of the platform.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ All we could see of them were the brilliant feathers of their war-bonnets,
+ but we got the full effect of their reception in the music and the cheers.
+ I dared not look at Miss Anthony during this remarkable scene, and she,
+ craning her venerable neck to get a glimpse of the incident from her
+ obscure corner, made no comment to me; but I knew what she was thinking.
+ The following year these Indians would have votes. Courtesy, therefore,
+ must be shown them. But the women did not matter, the politicians
+ reasoned, for even if they were enfranchised they would never support the
+ element represented at that convention. It was not surprising that,
+ notwithstanding our hard work, we did not win the state, though all the
+ conditions had seemed most favorable; for the state was new, the men and
+ women were working side by side in the fields, and there was discontent in
+ the ranks of the political parties.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After the election, when we analyzed the vote county by county, we
+ discovered that in every county whose residents were principally Americans
+ the amendment was carried, whereas in all counties populated largely by
+ foreigners it was lost. In certain counties&mdash;those inhabited by
+ Russian Jews&mdash;the vote was almost solidly against us, and this
+ notwithstanding the fact that the wives of these Russian voters were doing
+ a man's work on their farms in addition to the usual women's work in their
+ homes. The fact that our Cause could be defeated by ignorant laborers
+ newly come to our country was a humiliating one to accept; and we realized
+ more forcibly than ever before the difficulty of the task we had assumed&mdash;a
+ task far beyond any ever undertaken by a body of men in the history of
+ democratic government throughout the world. We not only had to bring
+ American men back to a belief in the fundamental principles of republican
+ government, but we had also to educate ignorant immigrants, as well as our
+ own Indians, whose degree of civilization was indicated by their war-paint
+ and the flaunting feathers of their head-dresses.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Kansas campaign, which Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt, Mrs. Johns, and I
+ conducted in 1894, held a special interest, due to the Populist movement.
+ There were so many problems before the people&mdash;prohibition, free
+ silver, and the Populist propaganda&mdash;that we found ourselves involved
+ in the bitterest campaign ever fought out in the state. Our desire, of
+ course, was to get the indorsement of the different political parties and
+ religious bodies, We succeeded in obtaining that of three out of four of
+ the Methodist Episcopal conferences&mdash;the Congregational, the Epworth
+ League, and the Christian Endeavor League&mdash;as well as that of the
+ State Teachers' Association, the Woman's Christian Temperance Union, and
+ various other religious and philanthropic societies. To obtain the
+ indorsement of the political parties was much more difficult, and we were
+ facing conditions in which partial success was worse than complete
+ failure. It had long been an unwritten law before it became a written law
+ in our National Association that we must not take partisan action or line
+ up with any one political party. It was highly important, therefore, that
+ either all parties should support us or that none should.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Populist convention was held in Topeka before either the Democratic or
+ Republican convention, and after two days of vigorous fighting, led by
+ Mrs. Anna Diggs and other prominent Populist women, a suffrage plank was
+ added to the platform. The Populist party invited me, as a minister, to
+ open the convention with prayer. This was an innovation, and served as a
+ wedge for the admission of women representatives of the Suffrage
+ Association to address the convention. We all did so, Miss Anthony
+ speaking first, Mrs. Catt second, and I last; after which, for the first
+ time in history, the Doxology was sung at a political convention.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the Democratic convention we made the same appeal, and were refused.
+ Instead of indorsing us, the Democrats put an anti-suffrage plank in their
+ platform&mdash;but this, as the party had little standing in Kansas,
+ probably did us more good than harm. Trouble came thick and fast, however,
+ when the Republicans, the dominant party in the state, held their
+ convention; and a mighty struggle began over the admission of a suffrage
+ plank. There was a Woman's Republican Club in Kansas, which held its
+ convention in Topeka at the same time the Republicans were holding theirs.
+ There was also a Mrs. Judith Ellen Foster, who, by stirring up opposition
+ in this Republican Club against the insertion of a suffrage plank, caused
+ a serious split in the convention. Miss Anthony, Mrs. Catt, and I, of
+ course, urged the Republican women to stand by their sex, and to give
+ their support to the Republicans only on condition that the latter added
+ suffrage to their platform. At no time, and in no field of work, have I
+ ever seen a more bitter conflict in progress than that which raged for two
+ days during this Republican women's convention. Liquor-dealers,
+ joint-keepers, "boot-leggers," and all the lawless element of Kansas swung
+ into line at a special convention held under the auspices of the Liquor
+ League of Kansas City, and cast their united weight against suffrage by
+ threatening to deny their votes to any candidate or political party
+ favoring our Cause. The Republican women's convention finally adjourned
+ with nothing accomplished except the passing of a resolution mildly
+ requesting the Republican party to indorse woman suffrage. The result was,
+ of course, that it was not indorsed by the Republican convention, and that
+ it was defeated at the following election.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was at the time of these campaigns that I was elected Vice-President of
+ the National Association and Lecturer at Large, and the latter office
+ brought in its train a glittering variety of experiences. On one occasion
+ an episode occurred which "Aunt Susan" never afterward wearied of
+ describing. There was a wreck somewhere on the road on which I was to
+ travel to meet a lecture engagement, and the trains going my way were not
+ running. Looking up the track, however, I saw a train coming from the
+ opposite direction. I at once grasped my hand-luggage and started for it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Wait! Wait!" cried Miss Anthony. "That train's going the wrong way!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "At least it's going SOMEWHERE!" I replied, tersely, as the train stopped,
+ and I climbed the steps.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Looking back when the train had started again, I saw "Aunt Susan" standing
+ in the same spot on the platform and staring after it with incredulous
+ eyes; but I was right, for I discovered that by going up into another
+ state I could get a train which would take me to my destination in time
+ for the lecture that night. It was a fine illustration of my pet theory
+ that if one intends to get somewhere it is better to start, even in the
+ wrong direction, than to stand still.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Again and again in our work we had occasion to marvel over men's lack of
+ understanding of the views of women, even of those nearest and dearest to
+ them; and we had an especially striking illustration of this at one of our
+ hearings in Washington. A certain distinguished gentleman (we will call
+ him Mr. H&mdash;&mdash;) was chairman of the Judiciary, and after we had
+ said what we wished to say, he remarked:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Your arguments are logical. Your cause is just. The trouble is that women
+ don't want suffrage. My wife doesn't want it. I don't know a single woman
+ who does want it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As it happened for this unfortunate gentleman, his wife was present at the
+ hearing and sitting beside Miss Anthony. She listened to his words with
+ surprise, and then whispered to "Aunt Susan":
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "How CAN he say that? <i>I</i> want suffrage, and I've told him so a
+ hundred times in the last twenty years."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Tell him again NOW," urged Miss Anthony. "Here's your chance to impress
+ it on his memory."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Here!" gasped the wife. "Oh, I wouldn't dare."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Then may I tell him?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Why&mdash;yes! He can think what he pleases, but he has no right to
+ publicly misrepresent me."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The assent, hesitatingly begun, finished on a sudden note of firmness.
+ Miss Anthony stood up.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It may interest Mr. H&mdash;&mdash;," she said, "to know that his wife
+ DOES wish to vote, and that for twenty years she has wished to vote, and
+ has often told him so, though he has evidently forgotten it. She is here
+ beside me, and has just made this explanation."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Mr. H&mdash;&mdash; stammered and hesitated, and finally decided to laugh.
+ But there was no mirth in the sound he made, and I am afraid his wife had
+ a bad quarter of an hour when they met a little later in the privacy of
+ their home.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Among other duties that fell to my lot at this period were numerous
+ suffrage debates with prominent opponents of the Cause. I have already
+ referred to the debate in Kansas with Senator Ingalls. Equaling this in
+ importance was a bout with Dr. Buckley, the distinguished Methodist
+ debater, which had been arranged for us at Chautauqua by Bishop Vincent of
+ the Methodist Church. The bishop was not a believer in suffrage, nor was
+ he one of my admirers. I had once aroused his ire by replying to a sermon
+ he had delivered on "God's Women," and by proving, to my own satisfaction
+ at least, that the women he thought were God's women had done very little,
+ whereas the work of the world had been done by those he believed were not
+ "God's Women." There was considerable interest, therefore, in the
+ Buckley-Shaw debate he had arranged; we all knew he expected Dr. Buckley
+ to wipe out that old score, and I was determined to make it as difficult
+ as possible for the distinguished gentleman to do so. We held the debate
+ on two succeeding days, I speaking one afternoon and Dr. Buckley replying
+ the following day. On the evening before I spoke, however, Dr. Buckley
+ made an indiscreet remark, which, blown about Chautauqua on the light
+ breeze of gossip, was generally regarded as both unchivalrous and unfair.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As the hall in which we were to speak was enormous, he declared that one
+ of two things would certainly happen. Either I would scream in order to be
+ heard by my great audience, or I would be unable to make myself heard at
+ all. If I screamed it would be a powerful argument against women as public
+ speakers; if I could not be heard, it would be an even better argument. In
+ either case, he summed up, I was doomed to failure. Following out this
+ theory, he posted men in the extreme rear of the great hall on the day of
+ my lecture, to report to him whether my words reached them, while he
+ himself graciously occupied a front seat. Bishop Vincent's antagonistic
+ feeling was so strong, however, that though, as the presiding officer of
+ the occasion, he introduced me to the audience, he did not wait to hear my
+ speech, but immediately left the hall&mdash;and this little slight added
+ to the public's interest in the debate. It was felt that the two gentlemen
+ were not quite "playing fair," and the champions of the Cause were
+ especially enthusiastic in their efforts to make up for these failures in
+ courtesy. My friends turned out in force to hear the lecture, and on the
+ breast of every one of them flamed the yellow bow that stood for suffrage,
+ giving to the vast hall something of the effect of a field of yellow
+ tulips in full bloom.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When Dr. Buckley rose to reply the next day these friends were again
+ awaiting him with an equally jocund display of the suffrage color, and
+ this did not add to his serenity. During his remarks he made the serious
+ mistake of losing his temper; and, unfortunately for him, he directed his
+ wrath toward a very old man who had thoughtlessly applauded by pounding on
+ the floor with his cane when Dr. Buckley quoted a point I had made. The
+ doctor leaned forward and shook his fist at him.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Think she's right, do you?" he asked.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Yes," admitted the venerable citizen, briskly, though a little startled
+ by the manner of the question.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Old man," shouted Dr. Buckley, "I'll make you take that back if you've
+ got a grain of sense in your head!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The insult cost him his audience. When he realized this he lost all his
+ self-possession, and, as the Buffalo Courier put it the next day, "went up
+ and down the platform raving like a Billingsgate fishwife." He lost the
+ debate, and the supply of yellow ribbon left in the surrounding counties
+ was purchased that night to be used in the suffrage celebration that
+ followed. My friends still refer to the occasion as "the day we wiped up
+ the earth with Dr. Buckley"; but I do not deserve the implied tribute, for
+ Dr. Buckley would have lost his case without a word from me. What really
+ gave me some satisfaction, however, was the respective degree of freshness
+ with which he and I emerged from our combat. After my speech Miss Anthony
+ and I were given a reception, and stood for hours shaking hands with
+ hundreds of men and women. Later in the evening we had a dinner and
+ another reception, which, lasting, as they did, until midnight, kept us
+ from our repose. Dr. Buckley, poor gentleman, had to be taken to his hotel
+ immediately after his speech, given a hot bath, rubbed down, and put
+ tenderly to bed; and not even the sympathetic heart of Susan B. Anthony
+ yearned over him when she heard of his exhaustion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was also at Chautauqua, by the way, though a number of years earlier,
+ that I had my much misquoted encounter with the minister who deplored the
+ fashion I followed in those days of wearing my hair short. This young man,
+ who was rather a pompous person, saw fit to take me to task at a table
+ where a number of us were dining together.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Miss Shaw," he said, abruptly, "I have been asked very often why you wear
+ your hair short, and I have not been able to explain. Of course"&mdash;this
+ kindly&mdash;"I know there is some good reason. I ventured to advance the
+ theory that you have been ill and that your hair has fallen out. Is that
+ it?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "No," I told him. "There is a reason, as you suggest. But it is not that
+ one."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Then why&mdash;" he insisted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I am rather sensitive about it," I explained. "I don't know that I care
+ to discuss the subject."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The young minister looked pained. "But among friends&mdash;" he protested.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "True," I conceded. "Well, then, among friends, I will admit frankly that
+ it is a birthmark. I was born with short hair."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That was the last time my short hair was criticized in my presence, but
+ the young minister was right in his disapproval and I was wrong, as I
+ subsequently realized. A few years later I let my hair grow long, for I
+ had learned that no woman in public life can afford to make herself
+ conspicuous by any eccentricity of dress or appearance. If she does so she
+ suffers for it herself, which may not disturb her, and to a greater or
+ less degree she injures the cause she represents, which should disturb her
+ very much.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XII. BUILDING A HOME
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ It is not generally known that the meeting of the International Council of
+ Women held in Chicago during the World's Fair was suggested by Miss
+ Anthony, as was also the appointment of the Exposition's "Board of Lady
+ Managers." "Aunt Susan" kept her name in the background, that she might
+ not array against these projects the opposition of those prejudiced
+ against woman suffrage. We both spoke at the meetings, however, as I have
+ already explained, and one of our most chastening experiences occurred on
+ "Actress Night." There was a great demand for tickets for this occasion,
+ as every one seemed anxious to know what kind of speeches our leading
+ women of the stage would make; and the programme offered such magic names
+ as Helena Modjeska, Julia Marlowe, Georgia Cayvan, Clara Morris, and
+ others of equal appeal. The hall was soon filled, and to keep out the
+ increasing throng the doors were locked and the waiting crowd was directed
+ to a second hall for an overflow meeting.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As it happened, Miss Anthony and I were among the earliest arrivals at the
+ main hall. It was the first evening we had been free to do exactly as we
+ pleased, and we were both in high spirits, looking forward to the
+ speeches, congratulating each other on the good seats we had been given on
+ the platform, and rallying the speakers on their stage fright; for, much
+ to our amusement, we had found them all in mortal terror of their
+ audience. Georgia Cayvan, for example, was so nervous that she had to be
+ strengthened with hot milk before she could speak, and Julia Marlowe
+ admitted freely that her knees were giving way beneath her. They really
+ had something of an ordeal before them, for it was decided that each
+ actress must speak twice going immediately from the hall to the overflow
+ meeting and repeating there the speech she had just made. But in the mean
+ time some one had to hold the impatient audience in the second hall, and
+ as it was a duty every one else promptly repudiated, a row of suddenly
+ imploring faces turned toward Miss Anthony and me. I admit that we
+ responded to the appeal with great reluctance. We were SO comfortable
+ where we were&mdash;and we were also deeply interested in the first
+ intimate glimpse we were having of these stars in the dramatic sky. We saw
+ our duty, however, and with deep sighs we rose and departed for the second
+ hall, where a glance at the waiting throng did not add to our pleasure in
+ the prospect before us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I walked upon the stage I found myself facing an actually hostile
+ audience. They had come to look at and listen to the actresses who had
+ been promised them, and they thought they were being deprived of that
+ privilege by an interloper. Never before had I gazed out on a mass of such
+ unresponsive faces or looked into so many angry eyes. They were exchanging
+ views on their wrongs, and the general buzz of conversation continued when
+ I appeared. For some moments I stood looking at them, my hands behind my
+ back. If I had tried to speak they would undoubtedly have gone on talking;
+ my silence attracted their attention and they began to wonder what I
+ intended to do. When they had stopped whispering and moving about, I spoke
+ to them with the frankness of an overburdened heart.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "I think," I said, slowly and distinctly, "that you are the most
+ disagreeable audience I ever faced in my life."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They gasped and stared, almost open-mouthed in their surprise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Never," I went on, "have I seen a gathering of people turn such ugly
+ looks upon a speaker who has sacrificed her own enjoyment to come and talk
+ to them. Do you think I want to talk to you?" I demanded, warming to my
+ subject. "I certainly do not. Neither does Miss Anthony want to talk to
+ you, and the lady who spoke to you a few moments ago, and whom you treated
+ so rudely, did not wish to be here. We would all much prefer to be in the
+ other hall, listening to the speakers from our comfortable seats on the
+ stage. To entertain you we gave up our places and came here simply because
+ the committee begged us to do so. I have only one thing more to say. If
+ you care to listen to me courteously I am willing to waste time on you;
+ but don't imagine that I will stand here and wait while you criticize the
+ management."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By this time I felt as if I had a child across my knee to whom I was
+ administering maternal chastisement, and the uneasiness of my audience
+ underlined the impression. They listened rather sulkily at first; then a
+ few of the best-natured among them laughed, and the laugh grew and
+ developed into applause. The experience had done them good, and they were
+ a chastened band when Clara Morris appeared, and I gladly yielded the
+ floor to her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ All the actresses who spoke that night delivered admirable addresses, but
+ no one equaled Madame Modjeska, who delivered exquisitely a speech
+ written, not by herself, but by a friend and countrywoman, on the
+ condition of Polish women under the regime of Russia. We were all charmed
+ as we listened, but none of us dreamed what that address would mean to
+ Modjeska. It resulted in her banishment from Poland, her native land,
+ which she was never again permitted to enter. But though she paid so heavy
+ a price for the revelation, I do not think she ever really regretted
+ having given to America the facts in that speech.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During this same period I embarked upon a high adventure. I had always
+ longed for a home, and my heart had always been loyal to Cape Cod. Now I
+ decided to have a home at Wianno, across the Cape from my old parish at
+ East Dennis. Deep-seated as my home-making aspiration had been, it was
+ realized largely as the result of chance. A special hobby of mine has
+ always been auction sales. I dearly love to drop into auction-rooms while
+ sales are in progress, and bid up to the danger-point, taking care to stop
+ just in time to let some one else get the offered article. But of course I
+ sometimes failed to stop at the psychological moment, and the result was a
+ sudden realization that, in the course of the years, I had accumulated an
+ extraordinary number of articles for which I had no shelter and no
+ possible use.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The crown jewel of the collection was a bedroom set I had picked up in
+ Philadelphia. Usually, cautious friends accompanied me on my auction-room
+ expeditions and restrained my ardor; but this time I got away alone and
+ found myself bidding at the sale of a solid bog-wood bedroom set which had
+ been exhibited as a show-piece at the World's Fair, and was now, in the
+ words of the auctioneer, "going for a song." I sang the song. I offered
+ twenty dollars, thirty dollars, forty dollars, and other excited voices
+ drowned mine with higher bids. It was very thrilling. I offered fifty
+ dollars, and there was a horrible silence, broken at last by the
+ auctioneer's final, "Going, going, GONE!" I was mistress of the bog-wood
+ bedroom set&mdash;a set wholly out of harmony with everything else I
+ possessed, and so huge and massive that two men were required to lift the
+ head-board alone. Like many of the previous treasures I had acquired, this
+ was a white elephant; but, unlike some of them, it was worth more than I
+ had paid for it. I was offered sixty dollars for one piece alone, but I
+ coldly refused to sell it, though the tribute to my judgment warmed my
+ heart. I had not the faintest idea what to do with the set, however, and
+ at last I confided my dilemma to my friend, Mrs. Ellen Dietrick, who
+ sagely advised me to build a house for it. The idea intrigued me. The
+ bog-wood furniture needed a home, and so did I.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The result of our talk was that Mrs. Dietrick promised to select a lot for
+ me at Wianno, where she herself lived, and even promised to supervise the
+ building of my cottage, and to attend to all the other details connected
+ with it. Thus put, the temptation was irresistible. Besides Mrs. Dietrick,
+ many other delightful friends lived at Wianno&mdash;the Garrisons, the
+ Chases of Rhode Island, the Wymans, the Wellingtons&mdash;a most charming
+ community. I gave Mrs. Dietrick full authority to use her judgment in
+ every detail connected with the undertaking, and the cottage was built.
+ Having put her hand to this plow of friendship, Mrs. Dietrick did the work
+ with characteristic thoroughness. I did not even visit Wianno to look at
+ my land. She selected it, bought it, engaged a woman architect&mdash;Lois
+ Howe of Boston&mdash;and followed the latter's work from beginning to end.
+ The only stipulation I made was that the cottage must be far up on the
+ beach, out of sight of everybody&mdash;really in the woods; and this was
+ easily met, for along that coast the trees came almost to the water's
+ edge.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The cottage was a great success, and for many years I spent my vacations
+ there, filling the place with young people. From the time of my sister
+ Mary's death I had had the general oversight of her two daughters, Lola
+ and Grace, as well as of Nicolas and Eleanor, the two motherless daughters
+ of my brother John. They were all with me every summer in the new home,
+ together with Lucy Anthony, her sister and brother, Mrs. Rachel Foster
+ Avery, and other friends. We had special fishing costumes made, and wore
+ them much of the time. My nieces wore knickerbockers, and I found vast
+ contentment in short, heavy skirts over bloomers. We lived out of doors,
+ boating, fishing, and clamming all day long, and, as in my early pioneer
+ days in Michigan, my part of the work was in the open. I chopped all the
+ wood, kept the fires going, and looked after the grounds.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Rumors of our care-free and unconventional life began to circulate, and
+ presently our Eden was invaded by the only serpent I have ever found in
+ the newspaper world&mdash;a girl reporter from Boston. She telegraphed
+ that she was coming to see us; and though, when she came, we had been
+ warned of her propensities and received her in conventional attire,
+ formally entertaining her with tea on the veranda, she went away and gave
+ free play to a hectic fancy. She wrote a sensational full-page article for
+ a Sunday newspaper, illustrated with pictures showing us all in
+ knickerbockers. In this striking work of art I carried a fish net and pole
+ and wore a handkerchief tied over my head. The article, which was headed
+ THE ADAMLESS EDEN, was almost libelous, and I admit that for a long time
+ it dimmed our enjoyment of our beloved retreat. Then, gradually, my old
+ friends died, Mrs. Dietrick among the first; others moved away; and the
+ character of the entire region changed. It became fashionable, privacy was
+ no longer to be found there, and we ceased to visit it. For five years I
+ have not even seen the cottage.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1908 I built the house I now occupy (in Moylan, Pennsylvania), which is
+ the realization of a desire I have always had&mdash;to build on a tract
+ which had a stream, a grove of trees, great boulders and rocks, and a hill
+ site for the house with a broad outlook, and a railroad station
+ conveniently near. The friend who finally found the place for me had begun
+ his quest with the pessimistic remark that I would better wait for it
+ until I got to Paradise; but two years later he telegraphed me that he had
+ discovered it on this planet, and he was right. I have only eight acres of
+ land, but no one could ask a more ideal site for a cottage; and on the
+ place is my beloved forest, including a grove of three hundred firs. From
+ every country I have visited I have brought back a tiny tree for this
+ little forest, and now it is as full of memories as of beauty.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To the surprise of my neighbors, I built my house with its back toward the
+ public road, facing the valley and the stream. "But you will never see
+ anybody go by," they protested. I answered that the one person in the
+ house who was necessarily interested in passers-by was my maid, and she
+ could see them perfectly from the kitchen, which faced the road. I enjoy
+ my views from the broad veranda that overlooks the valley, the stream, and
+ the country for miles around.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Every suffragist I have ever met has been a lover of home; and only the
+ conviction that she is fighting for her home, her children, for other
+ women, or for all of these, has sustained her in her public work. Looking
+ back on many campaign experiences, I am forced to admit that it is not
+ always the privations we endure which make us think most tenderly of home.
+ Often we are more overcome by the attentions of well-meaning friends. As
+ an example of this I recall an incident of one Oregon campaign. I was to
+ speak in a small city in the southern part of the state, and on reaching
+ the station, hot, tired, and covered with the grime of a midsummer
+ journey, I found awaiting me a delegation of citizens, a brass-band, and a
+ white carriage drawn by a pair of beautiful white horses. In this
+ carriage, and devotedly escorted by the citizens and the band, the latter
+ playing its hardest, I was driven to the City Hall and there met by the
+ mayor, who delivered an address, after which I was crowned with a laurel
+ wreath. Subsequently, with this wreath still resting upon my perspiring
+ brow, I was again driven through the streets of the city; and if ever a
+ woman felt that her place was in the home and longed to be in her place, I
+ felt it that day.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ An almost equally trying occasion had San Francisco for its setting. The
+ city had arranged a Fourth of July celebration, at which Miss Anthony and
+ I were to speak. Here we rode in a carriage decorated with flowers&mdash;yellow
+ roses&mdash;while just in front of us was the mayor in a carriage
+ gorgeously festooned with purple blossoms. Behind us, for more than a
+ mile, stretched a procession of uniformed policemen, soldiers, and
+ citizens, while the sidewalks were lined with men and women whose
+ enthusiastic greetings came to Miss Anthony from every side. She was
+ enchanted over the whole experience, for to her it meant, as always, not a
+ personal tribute, but a triumph of the Cause. But I sat by her side
+ acutely miserable; for across my shoulders and breast had been draped a
+ huge sash with the word "Orator" emblazoned on it, and this was further
+ embellished by a striking rosette with streamers which hung nearly to the
+ bottom of my gown. It is almost unnecessary to add that this remarkable
+ decoration was furnished by a committee of men, and was also worn by all
+ the men speakers of the day. Possibly I was overheated by the sash, or by
+ the emotions the sash aroused in me, for I was stricken with pneumonia the
+ following day and experienced my first serious illness, from which,
+ however, I soon recovered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On our way to California in 1895 Miss Anthony and I spent a day at
+ Cheyenne, Wyoming, as the guests of Senator and Mrs. Carey, who gave a
+ dinner for us. At the table I asked Senator Carey what he considered the
+ best result of the enfranchisement of Wyoming women, and even after the
+ lapse of twenty years I am able to give his reply almost word for word,
+ for it impressed me deeply at the time and I have since quoted it again
+ and again.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There have been many good results," he said, "but the one I consider
+ above all the others is the great change for the better in the character
+ of our candidates for office. Consider this for a moment: Since our women
+ have voted there has never been an embezzlement of public funds, or a
+ scandalous misuse of public funds, or a disgraceful condition of graft. I
+ attribute the better character of our public officials almost entirely to
+ the votes of the women."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Those are inspiring facts," I conceded, "but let us be just. There are
+ three men in Wyoming to every woman, and no candidate for office could be
+ elected unless the men voted for him, too. Why, then, don't they deserve
+ as much credit for his election as the women?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Because," explained Senator Carey, promptly, "women are politically an
+ uncertain factor. We can go among men and learn beforehand how they are
+ going to vote, but we can't do that with women; they keep us guessing. In
+ the old days, when we went into the caucus we knew what resolutions put
+ into our platforms would win the votes of the ranchmen, what would win the
+ miners, what would win the men of different nationalities; but we did not
+ know how to win the votes of the women until we began to nominate our
+ candidates. Then we immediately discovered that if the Democrats nominated
+ a man of immoral character for office, the women voted for his Republican
+ opponent, and we learned our first big lesson&mdash;that whatever a
+ candidate's other qualifications for office may be, he must first of all
+ have a clean record. In the old days, when we nominated a candidate we
+ asked, 'Can he hold the saloon vote?' Now we ask, 'Can he hold the women's
+ vote?' Instead of bidding down to the saloon, we bid up to the home."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Following the dinner there was a large public meeting, at which Miss
+ Anthony and I were to speak. Mrs. Jenkins, who was president of the
+ Suffrage Association of the state, presided and introduced us to the
+ assemblage. Then she added: "I have introduced you ladies to your
+ audience. Now I would like to introduce your audience to you." She began
+ with the two Senators and the member of Congress, then introduced the
+ Governor, the Lieutenant-Governor, the state Superintendent of Education,
+ and numerous city and state officials. As she went on Miss Anthony grew
+ more and more excited, and when the introductions were over, she said:
+ "This is the first time I have ever seen an audience assembled for woman
+ suffrage made up of the public officials of a state. No one can ever
+ persuade me now that men respect women without political power as much as
+ they respect women who have it; for certainly in no other state in the
+ Union would it be possible to gather so many public officials under one
+ roof to listen to the addresses of women."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The following spring we again went West, with Mrs. Catt, Lucy Anthony,
+ Miss Hay and Miss Sweet, her secretary, to carry on the Pacific coast
+ campaign of '96, arranged by Mrs. Cooper and her daughter Harriet, of
+ Oakland&mdash;both women of remarkable executive ability. Headquarters
+ were secured in San Francisco, and Miss Hay was put in charge, associated
+ with a large group of California women. It was the second time in the
+ history of campaigns&mdash;the first being in New York&mdash;that all the
+ money to carry on the work was raised by the people of the state.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The last days of the campaign were extremely interesting, and one of their
+ important events was that the Hon. Thomas Reed, then Speaker of the House
+ of Representatives, for the first time came out publicly for suffrage. Mr.
+ Reed had often expressed himself privately as in favor of the Cause&mdash;but
+ he had never made a public statement for us. At Oakland, one day, the
+ indefatigable and irresistible "Aunt Susan" caught him off his guard by
+ persuading his daughter, Kitty Reed, who was his idol, to ask him to say
+ just one word in favor of our amendment. When he arose we did not know
+ whether he had promised what she asked, and as his speech progressed our
+ hearts sank lower and lower, for all he said was remote from our Cause.
+ But he ended with these words:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There is an amendment of the constitution pending, granting suffrage to
+ women. The women of California ought to have suffrage. The men of
+ California ought to give it to them&mdash;and the next speaker, Dr. Shaw,
+ will tell you why."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The word was spoken. And though it was not a very strong word, it came
+ from a strong man, and therefore helped us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Election day, as usual, brought its surprises and revelations. Mrs. Cooper
+ asked her Chinese cook how the Chinese were voting&mdash;i. e., the
+ native-born Chinamen who were entitled to vote&mdash;and he replied,
+ blithely, "All Chinamen vote for Billy McKee and 'NO' to women!" It is an
+ interesting fact that every Chinese vote was cast against us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ All day we went from one to another of the polling-places, and I shall
+ always remember the picture of Miss Anthony and the wife of Senator
+ Sargent wandering around the polls arm in arm at eleven o'clock at night,
+ their tired faces taking on lines of deeper depression with every minute;
+ for the count was against us. However, we made a fairly good showing. When
+ the final counts came in we found that we had won the state from the north
+ down to Oakland, and from the south up to San Francisco; but there was not
+ a sufficient majority to overcome the adverse votes of San Francisco and
+ Oakland. With more than 230,000 votes cast, we were defeated by only
+ 10,000 majority. In San Francisco the saloon element and the most
+ aristocratic section of the city made an equal showing against us, while
+ the section occupied by the middle working-class was largely in favor of
+ our amendment. I dwell especially on this campaign, partly because such
+ splendid work was done by the women of California, and also because,
+ during the same election, Utah and Idaho granted full suffrage to women.
+ This gave us four suffrage states&mdash;Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, and Idaho&mdash;and
+ we prepared for future struggles with very hopeful hearts.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was during this California campaign, by the way, that I unwittingly
+ caused much embarrassment to a worthy young man. At a mass-meeting held in
+ San Francisco, Rabbi Vorsanger, who was not in favor of suffrage for
+ women, advanced the heartening theory that in a thousand years more they
+ might possibly be ready for it. After a thousand years of education for
+ women, of physically developed women, of uncorseted women, he said, we
+ might have the ideal woman, and could then begin to talk about freedom for
+ her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When the rabbi sat down there was a shout from the audience for me to
+ answer him, but all I said was that the ideal woman would be rather
+ lonely, as it would certainly take another thousand years to develop an
+ ideal man capable of being a mate for her. On the following night Prof.
+ Howard Griggs, of Stanford University, made a speech on the modern woman&mdash;a
+ speech so admirably thought out and delivered that we were all delighted
+ with it. When he had finished the audience again called on me, and I rose
+ and proceeded to make what my friends frankly called "the worst break" of
+ my experience. Rabbi Vorsanger's ideal woman was still in my mind, and I
+ had been rather hard on the men in my reply to the rabbi the night before;
+ so now I hastened to give this clever young man his full due. I said that
+ though the rabbi thought it would take a thousand years to make an ideal
+ woman, I believed that, after all, it might not take as long to make the
+ ideal man. We had something very near it in a speaker who could reveal
+ such ability, such chivalry, and such breadth of view as Professor Griggs
+ had just shown that he possessed.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ That night I slept the sleep of the just and the well-meaning, and it was
+ fortunate I did, for the morning newspapers had a surprise for me that
+ called for steady nerves and a sense of humor. Across the front page of
+ every one of them ran startling head-lines to this effect:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ DR. SHAW HAS FOUND HER IDEAL MAN
+ The Prospects Are That She Will
+ Remain in California
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ Professor Griggs was young enough to be my son, and he was already married
+ and the father of two beautiful children; but these facts were not
+ permitted to interfere with the free play of fancy in journalistic minds.
+ For a week the newspapers were filled with all sorts of articles,
+ caricatures, and editorials on my ideal man, which caused me much
+ annoyance and some amusement, while they plunged Professor Griggs into an
+ abysmal gloom. In the end, however, the experience proved an excellent one
+ for him, for the publicity attending his speech made him decide to take up
+ lecturing as a profession, which he eventually did with great success. But
+ neither of us has yet heard the last of the Ideal Man episode. Only a few
+ years ago, on his return to California after a long absence, one of the
+ leading Sunday newspapers of the state heralded Professor Griggs's arrival
+ by publishing a full-page article bearing his photograph and mine and this
+ flamboyant heading:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ SHE MADE HIM
+ And Dr. Shaw's Ideal Man Became the
+ Idol of American Women and
+ Earns $30,000 a Year
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ We had other unusual experiences in California, and the display of
+ affluence on every side was not the least impressive of them. In one town,
+ after a heavy rain, I remember seeing a number of little boys scraping the
+ dirt from the gutters, washing it, and finding tiny nuggets of gold. We
+ learned that these boys sometimes made two or three dollars a day in this
+ way, and that the streets of the town&mdash;I think it was Marysville&mdash;contained
+ so much gold that a syndicate offered to level the whole town and repave
+ the streets in return for the right to wash out the gold. This sounds like
+ the kind of thing Americans tell to trustful visitors from foreign lands,
+ but it is quite true. Nuggets, indeed, were so numerous that at one of our
+ meetings, when we were taking up a collection, I cheerfully suggested that
+ our audience drop a few into the box, as we had not had a nugget since we
+ reached the state. There were no nuggets in the subsequent collection, but
+ there was a note which read: "If Dr. Shaw will accept a gold nugget, I
+ will see that she does not leave town without one." I read this aloud, and
+ added, "I have never refused a gold nugget in my life."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The following day brought me a pin made of a very beautiful gold nugget,
+ and a few days later another Californian produced a cluster of smaller
+ nuggets which he had washed out of a panful of earth and insisted on my
+ accepting half of them. I was not accustomed to this sort of generosity,
+ but it was characteristic of the spirit of the state. Nowhere else, during
+ our campaign experiences, were we so royally treated in every way. As a
+ single example among many, I may mention that Mrs. Leland Stanford once
+ happened to be on a train with us and to meet Miss Anthony. As a result of
+ this chance encounter she gave our whole party passes on all the lines of
+ the Southern Pacific Railroad, for use during the entire campaign. Similar
+ generosity was shown us on every side, and the question of finance did not
+ burden us from the beginning to the end of the California work.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In our Utah and Idaho campaigns we had also our full share of new
+ experiences, and of these perhaps the most memorable to me was the sermon
+ I preached in the Mormon Tabernacle at Salt Lake City. Before I left New
+ York the Mormon women had sent me the invitation to preach this sermon,
+ and when I reached Salt Lake City and the so-called "Gentile" women heard
+ of the plan, they at once invited me to preach to the "Gentiles" on the
+ evening of the same Sunday, in the Salt Lake City Opera House.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the morning of the sermon I approached the Mormon Tabernacle with much
+ more trepidation than I usually experienced before entering a pulpit. I
+ was not sure what particular kind of trouble I would get into, but I had
+ an abysmal suspicion that trouble of some sort lay in wait for me, and I
+ shivered in the anticipation of it. Fortunately, my anxiety was not long
+ drawn out. I arrived only a few moments before the hour fixed for the
+ sermon, and found the congregation already assembled and the Tabernacle
+ filled with the beautiful music of the great organ. On the platform, to
+ which I was escorted by several leading dignitaries of the church, was the
+ characteristic Mormon arrangement of seats. The first row was occupied by
+ the deacons, and in the center of these was the pulpit from which the
+ deacons preach. Above these seats was a second row, occupied by ordained
+ elders, and there they too had their own pulpit. The third row was
+ occupied by, the bishops and the highest dignitaries of the church, with
+ the pulpit from which the bishops preach; and behind them all, an
+ effective human frieze, was the really wonderful Mormon choir.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As I am an ordained elder in my church, I occupied the pulpit in the
+ middle row of seats, with the deacons below me and the bishops just
+ behind. Scattered among the congregation were hundreds of "Gentiles" ready
+ to leap mentally upon any concession I might make to the Mormon faith;
+ while the Mormons were equally on the alert for any implied criticism of
+ them and their church. The problem of preaching a sermon which should
+ offer some appeal to both classes, without offending either, was a
+ perplexing one, and I solved it to the best of my ability by delivering a
+ sermon I had once given in my own church to my own people. When I had
+ finished I was wholly uncertain of its effect, but at the end of the
+ services one of the bishops leaned toward me from his place in the rear,
+ and, to my mingled horror and amusement, offered me this tribute, "That is
+ one of the best Mormon sermons ever preached in this Tabernacle."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I thanked him, but inwardly I was aghast. What had I said to give him such
+ an impression? I racked my brain, but could recall nothing that justified
+ it. I passed the day in a state of nervous apprehension, fully expecting
+ some frank criticism from the "Gentiles" on the score of having delivered
+ a Mormon sermon to ingratiate myself into the favor of the Mormons and
+ secure their votes for the constitutional amendment. But nothing of the
+ kind was said. That evening, after the sermon to the "Gentiles," a
+ reception was given to our party, and I drew my first deep breath when the
+ wife of a well-known clergyman came to me and introduced herself in these
+ words:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "My husband could not come here to-night, but he heard your sermon this
+ morning. He asked me to tell you how glad he was that under such unusual
+ conditions you held so firmly to the teachings of Christ."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The next day I was still more reassured. A reception was given us at the
+ home of one of Brigham Young's daughters, and the receiving-line was
+ graced by the presiding elder of the Methodist Episcopal Church. He was a
+ bluff and jovial gentleman, and when he took my hand he said, warmly,
+ "Well, Sister Shaw, you certainly gave our Mormon friends the biggest dose
+ of Methodism yesterday that they ever got in their lives."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ After this experience I reminded myself again that what Frances Willard so
+ frequently said is true; All truth is our truth when it has reached our
+ hearts; we merely rechristen it according to our individual creeds.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During the visit I had an interesting conversation with a number of the
+ younger Mormon women. I was to leave the city on a midnight train, and
+ about twenty of them, including four daughters of Brigham Young, came to
+ my hotel to remain with me until it was time to go to the station. They
+ filled the room, sitting around in school-girl fashion on the floor and
+ even on the bed. It was an unusual opportunity to learn some things I
+ wished to know, and I could not resist it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "There are some questions I would like to ask you," I began, "and one or
+ two of them may seem impertinent. But they won't be asked in that spirit&mdash;and
+ please don't answer any that embarrass you."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They exchanged glances, and then told me to ask as many questions as I
+ wished.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "First of all," I said, "I would like to know the real attitude toward
+ polygamy of the present generation of Mormon women. Do you all believe in
+ it?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They assured me that they did.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "How many of you," I then asked, "are polygamous wives?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There was not one in the group. "But," I insisted, "if you really believe
+ in polygamy, why is it that some of your husbands have not taken more than
+ one wife?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ There was a moment of silence, while each woman looked around as if
+ waiting for another to answer. At last one of them said, slowly:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "In my case, I alone was to blame. For years I could not force myself to
+ consent to my husband's taking another wife, though I tried hard. By the
+ time I had overcome my objection the law was passed prohibiting polygamy."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A second member of the group hastened to tell her story. She had had a
+ similar spiritual struggle, and just as she reached the point where she
+ was willing to have her husband take another wife, he died. And now the
+ room was filled with eager voices. Four or five women were telling at once
+ that they, too, had been reluctant in the beginning, and that when they
+ had reached the point of consent this, that, or another cause had kept the
+ husbands from marrying again. They were all so passionately in earnest
+ that they stared at me in puzzled wonder when I broke into the sudden
+ laughter I could not restrain.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "What fortunate women you all were!" I exclaimed, teasingly. "Not one of
+ you arrived at the point of consenting to the presence of a second wife in
+ your home until it was impossible for your husband to take her."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ They flushed a little at that, and then laughed with me; but they did not
+ defend themselves against the tacit charge, and I turned the conversation
+ into less personal channels. I learned that many of the Mormon young men
+ were marrying girls outside of the Church, and that two sons of a leading
+ Mormon elder had married and were living very happily with Catholic girls.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At this time the Mormon candidate for Congress (a man named Roberts) was a
+ bitter opponent of woman suffrage. The Mormon women begged me to challenge
+ him to a debate on the subject, which I did, but Mr. Roberts declined the
+ challenge. The ground of his refusal, which he made public through the
+ newspapers, was chastening to my spirit. He explained that he would not
+ debate with me because he was not willing to lower himself to the
+ intellectual plane of a woman.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0015" id="link2H_4_0015">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XIII. PRESIDENT OF "THE NATIONAL"
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ In 1900 Miss Anthony, then over eighty, decided that she must resign the
+ presidency of our National Association, and the question of the successor
+ she would choose became an important one. It was conceded that there were
+ only two candidates in her mind&mdash;Mrs. Carrie Chapman Catt and myself&mdash;and
+ for several months we gave the suffrage world the unusual spectacle of
+ rivals vigorously pushing each other's claims. Miss Anthony was devoted to
+ us both, and I think the choice was a hard one for her to make. On the one
+ hand, I had been vice-president at large and her almost constant companion
+ for twelve years, and she had grown accustomed to think of me as her
+ successor. On the other hand, Mrs. Catt had been chairman of the
+ organization committee, and through her splendid executive ability had
+ built up our organization in many states. From Miss Anthony down, we all
+ recognized her steadily growing powers; she had, moreover, abundant means,
+ which I had not.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In my mind there was no question of her superior qualification for the
+ presidency. She seemed to me the logical and indeed the only possible
+ successor to Miss Anthony; and I told "Aunt Susan" so with all the
+ eloquence I could command, while simultaneously Mrs. Catt was pouring into
+ Miss Anthony's other ear a series of impassioned tributes to me. It was an
+ unusual situation and a very pleasant one, and it had two excellent
+ results: it simplified "Aunt Susan's" problem by eliminating the element
+ of personal ambition, and it led to her eventual choice of Mrs. Catt as
+ her successor.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I will admit here for the first time that in urging Mrs. Catt's fitness
+ for the office I made the greatest sacrifice of my life. My highest
+ ambition had been to succeed Miss Anthony, for no one who knew her as I
+ did could underestimate the honor of being chosen by her to carry on her
+ work.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the convention in Washington that year she formally refused the
+ nomination for re-election, as we had all expected, and then, on being
+ urged to choose her own successor, she stepped forward to do so. It was a
+ difficult hour, for her fiery soul resented the limitations imposed by her
+ worn-out body, and to such a worker the most poignant experience in life
+ is to be forced to lay down one's work at the command of old age. On this
+ she touched briefly, but in a trembling voice; and then, in furtherance of
+ the understanding between the three of us, she presented the name of Mrs.
+ Catt to the convention with all the pride and hope a mother could feel in
+ the presentation of a daughter.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Her faith was fully justified. Mrs. Catt made an admirable president, and
+ during every moment of the four years she held the office she had Miss
+ Anthony's whole-hearted and enthusiastic support, while I, too, in my
+ continued office of vice-president, did my utmost to help her in every
+ way. In 1904, however, Mrs. Catt was elected president of the
+ International Suffrage Alliance, as I have mentioned before, and that same
+ year she resigned the presidency of our National Association, as her
+ health was not equal to the strain of carrying the two offices.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Anthony immediately urged me to accept the presidency of the National
+ Association, which I was now most unwilling to do; I had lost my ambition
+ to be president, and there were other reasons, into which I need not go
+ again, why I felt that I could not accept the post. At last, however, Miss
+ Anthony actually commanded me to take the place, and there was nothing to
+ do but obey her. She was then eighty-four, and, as it proved, within two
+ years of her death. It was no time for me to rebel against her wishes; but
+ I yielded with the heaviest heart I have ever carried, and after my
+ election to the presidency at the national convention in Washington I left
+ the stage, went into a dark corner of the wings, and for the first time
+ since my girlhood "cried myself sick."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the work I now took up I found myself much alone. Mrs. Catt was really
+ ill, and the strength of "Aunt Susan" must be saved in every way. Neither
+ could give me much help, though each did all she should have done, and
+ more. Mrs. Catt, whose husband had recently died, was in a deeply
+ despondent frame of mind, and seemed to feel that the future was
+ hopelessly dark. My own panacea for grief is work, and it seemed to me
+ that both physically and mentally she would be helped by a wise
+ combination of travel and effort. During my lifetime I have cherished two
+ ambitions, and only two: the first, as I have already confessed, had been
+ to succeed Miss Anthony as president of our association; the second was to
+ go around the world, carrying the woman-suffrage ideal to every country,
+ and starting in each a suffrage society. Long before the inception of the
+ International Suffrage Alliance I had dreamed this dream; and, though it
+ had receded as I followed it through life, I had never wholly lost sight
+ of it. Now I realized that for me it could never be more than a dream. I
+ could never hope to have enough money at my disposal to carry it out, and
+ it occurred to me that if Mrs. Catt undertook it as president of the
+ International Suffrage Alliance the results would be of the greatest
+ benefit to the Cause and to her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In my first visit to her after her husband's death I suggested this plan,
+ but she replied that it was impossible for her to consider it. I did not
+ lose thought of it, however, and at the next International Conference,
+ held in Copenhagen in 1907, I suggested to some of the delegates that we
+ introduce the matter as a resolution, asking Mrs. Catt to go around the
+ world in behalf of woman suffrage. They approved the suggestion so
+ heartily that I followed it up with a speech setting forth the whole plan
+ and Mrs. Catt's peculiar fitness for the work. Several months later Mrs.
+ Catt and Dr. Aletta Jacobs, president of the Holland Suffrage Association,
+ started on their world tour; and not until after they had gone did I fully
+ realize that the two great personal ambitions of my life had been
+ realized, not by me, but by another, and in each case with my enthusiastic
+ co-operation.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1904, following my election to the presidency, a strong appeal came
+ from the Board of Managers of the exposition to be held in Portland,
+ Oregon, urging us to hold our next annual convention there during the
+ exposition. It was the first time an important body of men had recognized
+ us in this manner, and we gladly responded. So strong a political factor
+ did the men of Oregon recognize us to be that every political party in the
+ state asked to be represented on our platform; and one entire evening of
+ the convention was given over to the representatives chosen by the various
+ parties to indorse the suffrage movement. Thus we began in Oregon the good
+ work we continued in 1906, and of which we reaped the harvest in 1912.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Next to "Suffrage Night," the most interesting feature of the exposition
+ to us was the unveiling of the statue of Saccawagea, the young Indian girl
+ who led the Lewis and Clark expedition through the dangerous passes of the
+ mountain ranges of the Northwest until they reached the Pacific coast.
+ This statue, presented to the exposition by the women of Oregon, is the
+ belated tribute of the state to its most dauntless pioneer; and no one can
+ look upon the noble face of the young squaw, whose outstretched hand
+ points to the ocean, without marveling over the ingratitude of the nation
+ that ignored her supreme service. To Saccawagea is due the opening up of
+ the entire western country. There was no one to guide Lewis and Clark
+ except this Indian, who alone knew the way; and she led the whole party,
+ carrying her papoose on her back. She was only sixteen, but she brought
+ every man safely through an experience of almost unparalleled hardship and
+ danger, nursing them in sickness and setting them an example of
+ unfaltering courage and endurance, until she stood at last on the Pacific
+ coast, where her statue stands now, pointing to the wide sweep of the
+ Columbia River as it flows into the sea.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This recognition by women is the only recognition she ever received. Both
+ Lewis and Clark were sincerely grateful to her and warmly recommended her
+ to the government for reward; but the government allowed her absolutely
+ nothing, though each man in the party she had led was given a large tract
+ of land. Tradition says that she was bitterly disappointed, as well she
+ might have been, and her Indian brain must have been sadly puzzled. But
+ she was treated little worse than thousands of the white pioneer women who
+ have followed her; and standing: there to-day on the bank of her river,
+ she still seems sorrowfully reflective over the strange ways of the nation
+ she so nobly served.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Oregon campaign of 1906 was the carrying out of one of Miss Anthony's
+ dearest wishes, and we who loved her set about this work soon after her
+ death. In the autumn preceding her passing, headquarters had been
+ established in Oregon, and Miss Laura Gregg had been placed in charge,
+ with Miss Gale Laughlin as her associate. As the money for this effort was
+ raised by the National Association, it was decided, after some discussion,
+ to let the National Association develop the work in Oregon, which was
+ admittedly a hard state to carry and full of possible difficulties which
+ soon became actual ones.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As a beginning, the Legislature had failed to submit an amendment; but as
+ the initiative and referendum was the law in Oregon, the amendment was
+ submitted through initiative patent. The task of securing the necessary
+ signatures was not an easy one, but at last a sufficient number of
+ signatures were secured and verified, and the authorities issued the
+ necessary proclamation for the vote, which was to take place at a special
+ election held on the 5th of June. Our campaign work had been carried on as
+ extensively as possible, but the distances were great and the workers few,
+ and as a result of the strain upon her Miss Gregg's health soon failed
+ alarmingly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ All this was happening during Miss Anthony's last illness, and it added
+ greatly to our anxieties.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ She instructed me to go to Oregon immediately after her death and to take
+ her sister Mary and her niece Lucy with me, and we followed these orders
+ within a week of her funeral, arriving in Portland on the third day of
+ April. I had attempted too much, however, and I proved it by fainting as I
+ got off the train, to the horror of the friendly delegation waiting to
+ receive us. The Portland women took very tender care of me, and in a few
+ days I was ready for work, but we found conditions even worse than we had
+ expected. Miss Gregg had collapsed utterly and was unable to give us any
+ information as to what had been done or planned, and we had to make a new
+ foundation. Miss Laura Clay, who had been in the Portland work for a few
+ weeks, proved a tower of strength, and we were soon aided further by Ida
+ Porter Boyer, who came on to take charge of the publicity department.
+ During the final six weeks of the campaign Alice Stone Blackwell, of
+ Boston, was also with us, while Kate Gordon took under her special charge
+ the organization of the city of Portland and the parlor-meeting work. Miss
+ Clay went into the state, where Emma Smith DeVoe and other speakers were
+ also working, and I spent my time between the office headquarters and "the
+ road," often working at my desk until it was time to rush off and take a
+ train for some town where I was to hold a night meeting. Miss Mary and
+ Miss Lucy Anthony confined themselves to office-work in the Portland
+ headquarters, where they gave us very valuable assistance. I have always
+ believed that we would have carried Oregon that year if the disaster of
+ the California earthquake had not occurred to divert the minds of Western
+ men from interest in anything save that great catastrophe.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On election day it seemed as if the heavens had opened to pour floods upon
+ us. Never before or since have I seen such incessant, relentless rain.
+ Nevertheless, the women of Portland turned out in force, led by Mrs. Sarah
+ Evans, president of the Oregon State Federation of Women's Clubs, while
+ all day long Dr. Pohl took me in her automobile from one polling-place to
+ another. At each we found representative women patiently enduring the
+ drenching rain while they tried to persuade men to vote for us. We
+ distributed sandwiches, courage, and inspiration among them, and tried to
+ cheer in the same way the women watchers, whose appointment we had secured
+ that year for the first time. Two women had been admitted to every
+ polling-place&mdash;but the way in which we had been able to secure their
+ presence throws a high-light on the difficulties we were meeting. We had
+ to persuade men candidates to select these women as watchers; and the only
+ men who allowed themselves to be persuaded were those running on minority
+ tickets and hopeless of election&mdash;the prohibitionists, the
+ socialists, and the candidates of the labor party.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The result of the election taught us several things. We had been told that
+ all the prohibitionists and socialists would vote for us. Instead, we
+ discovered that the percentage of votes for woman suffrage was about the
+ same in every party, and that whenever the voter had cast a straight vote,
+ without independence enough to "scratch" his ticket, that vote was usually
+ against us. On the other hand, when the ticket was "scratched" the vote
+ was usually in our favor, whatever political party the man belonged to.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another interesting discovery was that the early morning vote was
+ favorable to our Cause the vote cast by working-men on their way to their
+ employment. During the middle of the forenoon and afternoon, when the idle
+ class was at the polls, the vote ran against us. The late vote, cast as
+ men were returning from their work, was again largely in our favor&mdash;and
+ we drew some conclusions from this.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Also, for the first time in the history of any campaign, the
+ anti-suffragists had organized against us. Portland held a small body of
+ women with antisuffrage sentiments, and there were others in the state who
+ formed themselves into an anti-suffrage society and carried on a more or
+ less active warfare. In this campaign, for the first time, obscene cards
+ directed against the suffragists were circulated at the polls; and while I
+ certainly do not accuse the Oregon anti-suffragists of circulating them,
+ it is a fact that the cards were distributed as coming from the
+ anti-suffragists&mdash;undoubtedly by some vicious element among the men
+ which had its own good reason for opposing us. The "antis" also suffered
+ in this campaign from the "pernicious activity" of their spokesman&mdash;a
+ lawyer with an unenviable reputation. After the campaign was over this man
+ declared that it had cost the opponents of our measure $300,000.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1907 Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont began to show an interest in suffrage work,
+ and through the influence of several leaders in the movement, notably that
+ of Mrs. Ida Husted Harper, she decided to assist in the establishment of
+ national headquarters in the State of New York. For a long time the
+ association's headquarters had been in Warren, Ohio, the home of Mrs.
+ Harriet Taylor Upton, then national treasurer, and it was felt that their
+ removal to a larger city would have a great influence in developing the
+ work. In 1909 Mrs. Belmont attended as a delegate the meeting of the
+ International Suffrage Alliance in London, and her interest in the Cause
+ deepened. She became convinced that the headquarters of the association
+ should be in New York City, and at our Seattle convention that same year I
+ presented to the delegates her generous offer to pay the rent and maintain
+ a press department for two years, on condition that our national
+ headquarters were established in New York.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ This proposition was most gratefully accepted, and we promptly secured
+ headquarters in one of the most desirable buildings on Fifth Avenue. The
+ wisdom of the change was demonstrated at once by the extraordinary growth
+ of the work. During our last year in Warren, for example, the proceeds
+ from the sale of our literature were between $1,200 and $1,300. During the
+ first year in New York our returns from such sales were between $13,000
+ and $14,000, and an equal growth was evident in our other departments.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the end of two years Mrs. Belmont ceased to support the press
+ department or to pay the rent, but her timely aid had put us on our feet,
+ and we were able to continue our splendid progress and to meet our
+ expenses.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The special event of 1908 was the successful completion of the fund
+ President M. Carey Thomas of Bryn Mawr and Miss Mary Garrett had promised
+ in 1906 to raise for the Cause. For some time after Miss Anthony's death
+ nothing more was said of this, but I knew those two indefatigable friends
+ were not idle, and "Aunt Susan" had died in the blessed conviction that
+ their success was certain. In 1907 I received a letter from Miss Thomas
+ telling me that the project was progressing; and later she sent an outline
+ of her plan, which was to ask a certain number of wealthy persons to give
+ five hundred dollars a year each for a term of years. In all, a fund of
+ $60,000 was to be raised, of which we were to have $12,000 a year for five
+ years; $4,500 of the $12,000 was to be paid in salaries to three active
+ officers, and the remaining $7,500 was to go toward the work of the
+ association. The entire fund was to be raised by May 1, 1908, she added,
+ or the plan would be dropped.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was on a lecture tour in Ohio in April, 1908, when one night, as I was
+ starting for the hall where the lecture was to be given, my telephone bell
+ rang. "Long distance wants you," the operator said, and the next minute a
+ voice I recognized as that of Miss Thomas was offering congratulations.
+ "The last dollar of the $60,000," she added, "was pledged at four o'clock
+ this afternoon."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I was so overcome by the news that I dropped the receiver and shook in a
+ violent nervous attack, and this trembling continued throughout my
+ lecture. It had not seemed possible that such a burden could be lifted
+ from my shoulders; $7,500 a year would greatly aid our work, and $4,500 a
+ year, even though divided among three officers, would be a most welcome
+ help to each. As subsequently arranged, the salaries did not come to us
+ through the National Association treasury; they were paid directly by Miss
+ Thomas and Miss Garrett as custodians of the fund. So it is quite correct
+ to say that no salaries have ever been paid by the National Association to
+ its officers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Three years later, in 1911, another glorious surprise came to me in a very
+ innocent-looking letter. It was one of many in a heavy mail, and I opened
+ it absent-mindedly, for the day had been problem-filled.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The writer stated very simply that she wished to put a large amount into
+ my hands to invest, to draw on, and to use for the Cause as I saw fit. The
+ matter was to be a secret between us, and she wished no subsequent
+ accounting, as she had entire faith in my ability to put the money to the
+ best possible use.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The proposition rather dazed me, but I rallied my forces and replied that
+ I was infinitely grateful, but that the amount she mentioned was a large
+ one and I would much prefer to share the responsibility of disbursing it.
+ Could she not select one more person, at least, to share the secret and
+ act with me? She replied, telling me to make the selection, if I insisted
+ on having a confidante, and I sent her the names of Miss Thomas and Miss
+ Garrett, suggesting that as Miss Thomas had done so much of the work in
+ connection with the $60,000 fund, Miss Garrett might be willing to accept
+ the detail work of this fund. My friend replied that either of these
+ ladies would be perfectly satisfactory to her. She knew them both, she
+ said, and I was to arrange the matter as I chose, as it rested wholly in
+ my hands.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I used this money in subsequent state campaigns, and I am very sure that
+ to it was largely due the winning of Arizona, Kansas, and Oregon in 1912,
+ and of Montana and Nevada in 1914. It enabled us for the first time to
+ establish headquarters, secure an office force, and engage campaign
+ speakers. I also spent some of it in the states we lost then but will win
+ later&mdash;Ohio, Wisconsin, and Michigan&mdash;using in all more than
+ fifteen thousand dollars. In September, 1913, I received another check
+ from the same friend, showing that she at least was satisfied with the
+ results we had achieved.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "It goes to you with my love," she wrote, "and my earnest hopes for
+ further success&mdash;not the least of this a crowning of your faithful,
+ earnest, splendid work for our beloved Cause. How blessed it is that you
+ are our president and leader!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I had talked to this woman only twice in my life, and I had not seen her
+ for years when her first check came; so her confidence in me was an even
+ greater gift than her royal donation toward our Cause.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0016" id="link2H_4_0016">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XIV. RECENT CAMPAIGNS
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ The interval between the winning of Idaho and Utah in 1896 and that of
+ Washington in 1910 seemed very long to lovers of the Cause. We were
+ working as hard as ever&mdash;harder, indeed, for the opposition against
+ us was growing stronger as our opponents realized what triumphant woman
+ suffrage would mean to the underworld, the grafters, and the whited
+ sepulchers in public office. But in 1910 we were cheered by our Washington
+ victory, followed the next year by the winning of California. Then, with
+ our splendid banner year of 1912 came the winning of three states&mdash;Arizona,
+ Kansas, and Oregon&mdash;preceded by a campaign so full of vim and
+ interest that it must have its brief chronicle here.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To begin, we conducted in 1912 the largest number of campaigns we had ever
+ undertaken, working in six states in which constitutional amendments were
+ pending&mdash;Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Oregon, Arizona, and Kansas.
+ Personally, I began my work in Ohio in August, with the modest aspiration
+ of speaking in each of the principal towns in every one of these states.
+ In Michigan I had the invaluable assistance of Mrs. Lawrence Lewis, of
+ Philadelphia, and I visited at this time the region of my old home,
+ greatly changed since the days of my girlhood, and talked to the old
+ friends and neighbors who had turned out in force to welcome me. They
+ showed their further interest in the most satisfactory way, by carrying
+ the amendment in their part of the state.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At least four and five speeches a day were expected, and as usual we
+ traveled in every sort of conveyance, from freight-cars to eighty
+ horse-power French automobiles. In Eau Clair, Wisconsin, I spoke at the
+ races immediately after the passing of a procession of cattle. At the end
+ of the procession rode a woman in an ox-cart, to represent pioneer days.
+ She wore a calico gown and a sunbonnet, and drove her ox-team with genuine
+ skill; and the last touch to the picture she made was furnished by the
+ presence of a beautiful biplane which whirred lightly in the air above
+ her. The obvious comparison was too good to ignore, so I told my hearers
+ that their women to-day were still riding in ox-teams while the men soared
+ in the air, and that women's work in the world's service could be properly
+ done only when they too were allowed to fly.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Oregon we were joined by Miss Lucy Anthony. There, at Pendleton, I
+ spoke during the great "round up," holding the meeting at night on the
+ street, in which thousands of horsemen&mdash;cowboys, Indians, and
+ ranchmen&mdash;were riding up and down, blowing horns, shouting, and
+ singing. It seemed impossible to interest an audience under such
+ conditions, but evidently the men liked variety, for when we began to
+ speak they quieted down and closed around us until we had an audience that
+ filled the streets in every direction and as far as our voices could
+ reach. Never have we had more courteous or enthusiastic listeners than
+ those wild and happy horsemen. Best of all, they not only cheered our
+ sentiments, but they followed up their cheers with their votes. I spoke
+ from an automobile, and when I had finished one of the cowboys rode close
+ to me and asked for my New York address. "You will hear from me later," he
+ said, when he had made a note of it. In time I received a great linen
+ banner, on which he had made a superb pen-and-ink sketch of himself and
+ his horse, and in every corner sketches of scenes in the different states
+ where women voted, together with drawings of all the details of cowboy
+ equipment. Over these were drawn the words:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ WOMAN SUFFRAGE&mdash;WE ARE ALL FOR IT.
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ The banner hangs to-day in the National Headquarters.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In California Mr. Edwards presented me with the money to purchase the
+ diamond in Miss Anthony's flag pin representing the victory of his state
+ the preceding year; and in Arizona one of the highlights of the campaign
+ was the splendid effort of Mrs. Frances Munds, the state president, and
+ Mrs. Alice Park, of Palo Alto, California, who were carrying on the work
+ in their headquarters with tremendous courage, and, as it seemed to me,
+ almost unaided. Mrs. Park's specialty was the distribution of suffrage
+ literature, which she circulated with remarkable judgment. The Governor of
+ Arizona was in favor of our Cause, but there were so few active workers
+ available that to me, at least, the winning of the state was a happy
+ surprise.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Kansas we stole some of the prestige of Champ Clark, who was making
+ political speeches in the same region. At one station a brass-band and a
+ great gathering were waiting for Mr. Clark's train just as our train drew
+ in; so the local suffragists persuaded the band to play for us, too, and I
+ made a speech to the inspiring accompaniment of "Hail to the Chief." The
+ passengers on our train were greatly impressed, thinking it was all for
+ us; the crowd at the station were glad to be amused until the great man
+ came, and I was glad of the opportunity to talk to so many representative
+ men&mdash;so we were all happy.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In the Soldiers' Home at Leavenworth I told the old men of the days when
+ my father and brothers left us in the wilderness, and my mother and I
+ cared for the home while they fought at the front&mdash;and I have always
+ believed that much of the large vote we received at Leavenworth was cast
+ by those old soldiers.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ No one who knows the conditions doubts that we really won Michigan that
+ year as well as the three other states, but strange things were done in
+ the count. For example, in one precinct in Detroit forty more votes were
+ counted against our amendment than there were voters in the district. In
+ other districts there were seven or eight more votes than voters. Under
+ these conditions it is not surprising that, after the vigorous recounting
+ following the first wide-spread reports of our success, Michigan was
+ declared lost to us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The campaign of 1914, in which we won Montana and Nevada, deserves special
+ mention here. I must express also my regret that as this book will be on
+ the presses before the campaign of 1915 is ended, I cannot include in
+ these reminiscences the results of our work in New York and other states.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As a beginning of the 1914 campaign I spent a day in Chicago, on the way
+ to South Dakota, to take my part in a moving-picture suffrage play. It was
+ my first experience as an actress, and I found it a taxing one. As a
+ modest beginning I was ordered to make a speech in thirty-three seconds&mdash;something
+ of a task, as my usual time allowance for a speech is one hour. The
+ manager assured me, however, that a speech of thirty-three seconds made
+ twenty-seven feet of film&mdash;enough, he thought, to convert even a
+ lieutenant-governor!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Dakota campaigns, as usual, resolved themselves largely into feats of
+ physical endurance, in which I was inspired by the fine example of the
+ state presidents&mdash;Mrs. John Pyle of South Dakota and Mrs. Clara V.
+ Darrow of North Dakota. Every day we made speeches from the rear platform
+ of the trains on which we were traveling&mdash;sometimes only two or
+ three, sometimes half a dozen. One day I rode one hundred miles in an
+ automobile and spoke in five different towns. Another day I had to make a
+ journey in a freight-car. It was, with a few exceptions, the roughest
+ traveling I had yet known, and it took me six hours to reach my
+ destination. While I was gathering up hair-pins and pulling myself
+ together to leave the car at the end of the ride I asked the conductor how
+ far we had traveled.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Forty miles," said he, tersely.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "That means forty miles AHEAD," I murmured. "How far up and down?"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Oh, a hundred miles up and down," grinned the conductor, and the exchange
+ of persiflage cheered us both.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Though we did not win, I have very pleasant memories of North Dakota, for
+ Mrs. Darrow accompanied me during the entire campaign, and took every
+ burden from my shoulders so efficiently that I had nothing to do but make
+ speeches.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Montana our most interesting day was that of the State Fair, which
+ ended with a suffrage parade that I was invited to lead. On this occasion
+ the suffragists wished me to wear my cap and gown and my doctor's hood,
+ but as I had not brought those garments with me, we borrowed and I proudly
+ wore the cap and gown of the Unitarian minister. It was a small but really
+ beautiful parade, and all the costumes for it were designed by the state
+ president, Miss Jeannette Rankin, to whose fine work, by the way, combined
+ with the work of her friends, the winning of Montana was largely due.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Butte the big strike was on, and the town was under martial law. A
+ large banquet was given us there, and when we drove up to the club-house
+ where this festivity was to be held we were stopped by two armed guards
+ who confronted us with stern faces and fixed bayonets. The situation
+ seemed so absurd that I burst into happy laughter, and thus deeply
+ offended the earnest young guards who were grasping the fixed bayonets.
+ This sad memory was wiped out, however, by the interest of the banquet&mdash;a
+ very delightful affair, attended by the mayor of Butte and other local
+ dignitaries.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Nevada the most interesting feature of the campaign was the splendid
+ work of the women. In each of the little towns there was the same spirit
+ of ceaseless activity and determination. The president of the State
+ Association, Miss Anne Martin, who was at the head of the campaign work,
+ accompanied me one Sunday when we drove seventy miles in a motor and spoke
+ four times, and she was also my companion in a wonderful journey over the
+ mountains. Miss Martin was a tireless and worthy leader of the fine
+ workers in her state.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Missouri, under the direction of Mrs. Walter McNabb Miller, and in
+ Nebraska, where Mrs. E. Draper Smith was managing the campaign, we had
+ some inspiring meetings. At Lincoln Mrs. William Jennings Bryan introduced
+ me to the biggest audience of the year, and the programme took on a
+ special interest from the fact that it included Mrs. Bryan's debut as a
+ speaker for suffrage. She is a tall and attractive woman with an extremely
+ pleasant voice, and she made an admirable speech&mdash;clear, terse, and
+ much to the point, putting herself on record as a strong supporter of the
+ woman-suffrage movement. There was also an amusing aftermath of this
+ occasion, which Secretary Bryan himself confided to me several months
+ later when I met him in Atlantic City. He assured me, with the deep
+ sincerity he assumes so well, that for five nights after my speech in
+ Lincoln his wife had kept him awake listening to her report of it&mdash;and
+ he added, solemnly, that he now knew it "by heart."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ A less pleasing memory of Nebraska is that I lost my voice there and my
+ activities were sadly interrupted. But I was taken to the home of Mr. and
+ Mrs. Francis A. Brogan, of Omaha, and supplied with a trained nurse, a
+ throat specialist, and such care and comfort that I really enjoyed the
+ enforced rest&mdash;knowing, too, that the campaign committee was carrying
+ on our work with great enthusiasm.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Missouri one of our most significant meetings was in Bowling Green, the
+ home of Champ Clark, Speaker of the House. Mrs. Clark gave a reception,
+ made a speech, and introduced me at the meeting, as Mrs. Bryan had done in
+ Lincoln. She is one of the brightest memories of my Missouri experience,
+ for, with few exceptions, she is the most entertaining woman I have ever
+ met. Subsequently we had an all-day motor journey together, during which
+ Mrs. Clark rarely stopped talking and I even more rarely stopped laughing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0017" id="link2H_4_0017">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XV. CONVENTION INCIDENTS
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ From 1887 to 1914 we had a suffrage convention every year, and I attended
+ each of them. In preceding chapters I have mentioned various convention
+ episodes of more or less importance. Now, looking back over them all as I
+ near the end of these reminiscences, I recall a few additional incidents
+ which had a bearing on later events. There was, for example, the
+ much-discussed attack on suffrage during the Atlanta convention of 1895,
+ by a prominent clergyman of that city whose name I mercifully withhold. On
+ the Sunday preceding our arrival this gentleman preached a sermon warning
+ every one to keep away from our meetings, as our effort was not to secure
+ the franchise for women, but to encourage the intermarriage of the black
+ and white races. Incidentally he declared that the suffragists were trying
+ to break up the homes of America and degrade the morals of women, and that
+ we were all infidels and blasphemers. He ended with a personal attack on
+ me, saying that on the previous Sunday I had preached in the Epworth
+ Memorial Methodist Church of Cleveland, Ohio, a sermon which was of so
+ blasphemous a nature that nothing could purify the church after it except
+ to burn it down.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As usual at our conventions, I had been announced to preach the sermon at
+ our Sunday conference, and I need hardly point out that the reverend
+ gentleman's charge created a deep public interest in this effort. I had
+ already selected a text, but I immediately changed my plans and announced
+ that I would repeat the sermon I had delivered in Cleveland and which the
+ Atlanta minister considered so blasphemous. The announcement brought out
+ an audience which filled the Opera House and called for a squad of police
+ officers to keep in order the street crowd that could not secure entrance.
+ The assemblage had naturally expected that I would make some reply to the
+ clergyman's attack, but I made no reference whatever to him. I merely
+ repeated, with emphasis, the sermon I had delivered in Cleveland.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the conclusion of the service one of the trustees of my reverend
+ critic's church came and apologized for his pastor. He had a high regard
+ for him, the trustee said, but in this instance there could be no doubt in
+ the mind of any one who had heard both sermons that of the two mine was
+ the tolerant, the reverent, and the Christian one. The attack made many
+ friends for us, first because of its injustice, and next because of the
+ good-humored tolerance with which the suffragists accepted it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Atlanta convention, by the way, was arranged and largely financed by
+ the Misses Howard&mdash;three sisters living in Columbus, Georgia, and
+ each an officer of the Georgia Woman Suffrage Association. It is a
+ remarkable fact that in many of our Southern states the suffrage movement
+ has been led by three sisters. In Kentucky the three Clay sisters were for
+ many years leaders in the work. In Texas the three Finnegan sisters did
+ splendid work; in Louisiana the Gordon sisters were our stanchest allies,
+ while in Virginia we had the invaluable aid of Mary Johnston, the
+ novelist, and her two sisters. We used to say, laughingly, if there was a
+ failure to organize any state in the South, that it must be due to the
+ fact that no family there had three sisters to start the movement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ From the Atlanta convention we went directly to Washington to attend the
+ convention of the National Council of Women, and on the first day of this
+ council Frederick Douglass came to the meeting. Mr. Douglass had a special
+ place in the hearts of suffragists, for the reason that at the first
+ convention ever held for woman suffrage in the United States (at Seneca
+ Falls, New York) he was the only person present who stood by Elizabeth
+ Cady Stanton when she presented her resolution in favor of votes for
+ women. Even Lucretia Mott was startled by this radical step, and privately
+ breathed into the ear of her friend, "Elizabeth, thee is making us
+ ridiculous!" Frederick Douglass, however, took the floor in defense of
+ Mrs. Stanton's motion, a service we suffragists never forgot.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Therefore, when the presiding officer of the council, Mrs. May Wright
+ Sewall, saw Mr. Douglass enter the convention hall in Washington on this
+ particular morning, she appointed Susan B. Anthony and me a committee to
+ escort him to a seat on the platform, which we gladly did. Mr. Douglass
+ made a short speech and then left the building, going directly to his
+ home. There, on entering his hall, he had an attack of heart failure and
+ dropped dead as he was removing his overcoat. His death cast a gloom over
+ the convention, and his funeral, which took place three days later, was
+ attended by many prominent men and women who were among the delegates.
+ Miss Anthony and I were invited to take part in the funeral services, and
+ she made a short address, while I offered a prayer.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The event had an aftermath in Atlanta, for it led our clerical enemy to
+ repeat his charges against us, and to offer the funeral of Frederick
+ Douglass as proof that we were hand in glove with the negro race.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Under the gracious direction of Miss Kate Gordon and the Louisiana Woman
+ Suffrage Association, we held an especially inspiring convention in New
+ Orleans in 1903. In no previous convention were arrangements more perfect,
+ and certainly nowhere else did the men of a community co-operate more
+ generously with the women in entertaining us. A club of men paid the rent
+ of our hall, chartered a steamboat and gave us a ride on the Mississippi,
+ and in many other ways helped to make the occasion a success. Miss Gordon,
+ who was chairman of the programme committee, introduced the innovation of
+ putting me before the audience for twenty minutes every evening, at the
+ close of the regular session, as a target for questions. Those present
+ were privileged to ask any questions they pleased, and I answered them&mdash;if
+ I could.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ We were all conscious of the dangers attending a discussion of the negro
+ question, and it was understood among the Northern women that we must take
+ every precaution to avoid being led into such discussion. It had not been
+ easy to persuade Miss Anthony of the wisdom of this course; her way was to
+ face issues squarely and out in the open. But she agreed that we must
+ respect the convictions of the Southern men and women who were
+ entertaining us so hospitably.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ On the opening night, as I took my place to answer questions, almost the
+ first slip passed up bore these words:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ What is your purpose in bringing your convention to the South? Is it the
+ desire of suffragists to force upon us the social equality of black and
+ white women? Political equality lays the foundation for social equality.
+ If you give the ballot to women, won't you make the black and white woman
+ equal politically and therefore lay the foundation for a future claim of
+ social equality?
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I laid the paper on one side and did not answer the question. The second
+ night it came to me again, put in the same words, and again I ignored it.
+ The third night it came with this addition:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Evidently you do not dare to answer this question. Therefore our
+ conclusion is that this is your purpose.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ When I had read this I went to the front of the platform.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Here," I said, "is a question which has been asked me on three successive
+ nights. I have not answered it because we Northern women had decided not
+ to enter into any discussion of the race question. But now I am told by
+ the writer of this note that we dare not answer it. I wish to say that we
+ dare to answer it if you dare to have it answered&mdash;and I leave it to
+ you to decide whether I shall answer it or not."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I read the question aloud. Then the audience called for the answer, and I
+ gave it in these words, quoted as accurately as I can remember them:
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "If political equality is the basis of social equality, and if by granting
+ political equality you lay the foundation for a claim of social equality,
+ I can only answer that you have already laid that claim. You did not wait
+ for woman suffrage, but disfranchised both your black and your white
+ women, thus making them politically equal. But you have done more than
+ that. You have put the ballot into the hands of your black men, thus
+ making them the political superiors of your white women. Never before in
+ the history of the world have men made former slaves the political masters
+ of their former mistresses!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The point went home and it went deep. I drove it in a little further.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "The women of the South are not alone," I said, "in their humiliation. All
+ the women of America share it with them. There is no other nation in the
+ world in which women hold the position of political degradation our
+ American women hold to-day. German women are governed by German men;
+ French women are governed by French men. But in these United States
+ American women are governed by every race of men under the light of the
+ sun. There is not a color from white to black, from red to yellow, there
+ is not a nation from pole to pole, that does not send its contingent to
+ govern American women. If American men are willing to leave their women in
+ a position as degrading as this they need not be surprised when American
+ women resolve to lift themselves out of it."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ For a full moment after I had finished there was absolute silence in the
+ audience. We did not know what would happen. Then, suddenly, as the truth
+ of the statement struck them, the men began to applaud&mdash;and the
+ danger of that situation was over.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another episode had its part in driving the suffrage lesson home to
+ Southern women. The Legislature had passed a bill permitting tax-paying
+ women to vote at any election where special taxes were to be imposed for
+ improvements, and the first election following the passage of this bill
+ was one in New Orleans, in which the question of better drainage for the
+ city was before the public. Miss Gordon and the suffrage association known
+ as the Era Club entered enthusiastically into the fight for good drainage.
+ According to the law women could vote by proxy if they preferred, instead
+ of in person, so Miss Gordon drove to the homes of the old conservative
+ Creole families and other families whose women were unwilling to vote in
+ public, and she collected their proxies while incidentally she showed them
+ what position they held under the law.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ With each proxy it was necessary to have the signature of a witness, but
+ according to the Louisiana law no woman could witness a legal document.
+ Miss Gordon was driven from place to place by her colored coachman, and
+ after she had secured the proxy of her temporary hostess it was usually
+ discovered that there was no man around the place to act as a witness.
+ This was Miss Gordon's opportunity. With a smile of great sweetness she
+ would say, "I will have Sam come in and help us out"; and the colored
+ coachman would get down from his box, and by scrawling his signature on
+ the proxy of the aristocratic lady he would give it the legal value it
+ lacked. In this way Miss Gordon secured three hundred proxies, and three
+ hundred very conservative women had an opportunity to compare their legal
+ standing with Sam's. The drainage bill was carried and interest in woman
+ suffrage developed steadily.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The special incident of the Buffalo convention of 1908 was the receipt of
+ a note which was passed up to me as I sat on the platform. When I opened
+ it a check dropped out&mdash;a check so large that I was sure it had been
+ sent by mistake. However, after asking one or two friends on the platform
+ if I had read it correctly, I announced to the audience that if a certain
+ amount were subscribed immediately I would reveal a secret&mdash;a very
+ interesting secret. Audiences are as curious as individuals. The amount
+ was at once subscribed. Then I held up a check for $10,000, given for our
+ campaign work by Mrs. George Howard Lewis, in memory of Susan B. Anthony,
+ and I read to the audience the charming letter that accompanied it. The
+ money was used during the campaigns of the following year&mdash;part of it
+ in Washington, where an amendment was already submitted.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In a previous chapter I have described the establishment of our New York
+ headquarters as a result of the generous offer of Mrs. O. H. P. Belmont at
+ the Seattle convention in 1909. During our first year in these beautiful
+ Fifth Avenue rooms Mrs. Pankhurst made her first visit to America, and we
+ gave her a reception there. This, however, was before the adoption of the
+ destructive methods which have since marked the activities of the band of
+ militant suffragists of which Mrs. Pankhurst is president. There has never
+ been any sympathy among American suffragists for the militant suffrage
+ movement in England, and personally I am wholly opposed to it. I do not
+ believe in war in any form; and if violence on the part of men is
+ undesirable in achieving their ends, it is much more so on the part of
+ women; for women never appear to less advantage than in physical combats
+ with men. As for militancy in America, no generation that attempted it
+ could win. No victory could come to us in any state where militant methods
+ were tried. They are undignified, unworthy&mdash;in other words,
+ un-American.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The Washington convention of 1910 was graced by the presence of President
+ Taft, who, at the invitation of Mrs. Rachel Foster Avery, made an address.
+ It was understood, of course, that he was to come out strongly for woman
+ suffrage; but, to our great disappointment, the President, a most charming
+ and likable gentleman, seemed unable to grasp the significance of the
+ occasion. He began his address with fulsome praise of women, which was
+ accepted in respectful silence. Then he got round to woman suffrage,
+ floundered helplessly, became confused, and ended with the most
+ unfortunately chosen words he could have uttered: "I am opposed," he said,
+ "to the extension of suffrage to women not fitted to vote. You would
+ hardly expect to put the ballot into the hands of barbarians or savages in
+ the jungle!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The dropping of these remarkable words into a suffrage convention was
+ naturally followed by an oppressive silence, which Mr. Taft, now wholly
+ bereft of his self-possession, broke by saying that the best women would
+ not vote and the worst women would.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In his audience were many women from suffrage states&mdash;high-minded
+ women, wives and mothers, who had voted for Mr. Taft. The remarks to which
+ they had just listened must have seemed to them a poor return. Some one
+ hissed&mdash;some man, some woman&mdash;no one knows which except the
+ culprit&mdash;and a demonstration started which I immediately silenced.
+ Then the President finished his address. He was very gracious to us when
+ he left, shaking hands with many of us, and being especially cordial to
+ Senator Owens's aged mother, who had come to the convention to hear him
+ make his maiden speech on woman suffrage. I have often wondered what he
+ thought of that speech as he drove back to the White House. Probably he
+ regretted as earnestly as we did that he had made it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1912, at an official board meeting at Bryn Mawr, Mrs. Stanley McCormack
+ was appointed to fill a vacancy on the National Board. Subsequently she
+ contributed $6,000 toward the payment of debts incident to our temporary
+ connection with the Woman's Journal of Boston, and did much efficient work
+ for us, To me, personally, the entrance of Mrs. Stanley McCormack into our
+ work has been a source of the deepest gratification and comfort. I can
+ truly say of her what Susan B. Anthony said of me, "She is my right
+ bower." At Nashville, in 1914, she was elected first vice-president, and
+ to a remarkable degree she has since relieved me of the burden of the
+ technical work of the presidency, including the oversight of the work at
+ headquarters. To this she gives all her time, aided by an executive
+ secretary who takes charge of the routine work of the association. She has
+ thus made it possible for me to give the greater part of my time to the
+ field in which such inspiring opportunities still confront us&mdash;campaign
+ work in the various states.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ To Mrs. Medill McCormack also we are indebted for most admirable work and
+ enthusiastic support. At the Washington (D.C.) convention in 1913 she was
+ made the chairman of the Congressional Committee, with Mrs. Antoinette
+ Funk, Mrs. Helen Gardner of Washington, and Mrs. Booth of Chicago as her
+ assistants. The results they achieved were so brilliant that they were
+ unanimously re-elected to the same positions this year, with the addition
+ of Miss Jeannette Rankin, whose energy and service had helped to win for
+ us the state of Montana.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was largely due to the work of this Congressional Committee, supported
+ by the large number of states which had been won for suffrage, that we
+ secured such an excellent vote in the Lower House of Congress on the bill
+ to amend the national Constitution granting suffrage to the women of the
+ United States. This measure, known as the Susan B. Anthony bill, had been
+ introduced into every Congress for forty-three years by the National Woman
+ Suffrage Association. In 1914, for the first time, it was brought out of
+ committee, debated, and voted upon in the Lower House. We received 174
+ votes in favor of it to 204 against it. The previous spring, in the same
+ Congress, the same bill passed the Senate by 35 votes for it to 33 votes
+ against it.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The most interesting features of the Washington convention of 1913 were
+ the labor mass-meetings led by Jane Addams and the hearing before the
+ Rules Committee of the Lower House of Congress&mdash;the latter the first
+ hearing ever held before this Committee for the purpose of securing a
+ Committee on Suffrage in the Lower House to correspond with a similar
+ committee in the Senate. For many years we had had hearings before the
+ Judiciary Committee of the Lower House, which was such a busy committee
+ that it had neither time nor interest to give to our measure. We therefore
+ considered it necessary to have a special committee of our own. The
+ hearing began on the morning of Wednesday, the third of December, and
+ lasted for two hours. Then the anti-suffragists were given time, and their
+ hearing began the following day, continued throughout that day and during
+ the morning of the next day, when our National Association was given an
+ opportunity for rebuttal argument in the afternoon. It was the longest
+ hearing in the history of the suffrage movement, and one of the most
+ important.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During the session of Congress in 1914 another strenuous effort was made
+ to secure the appointment of a special suffrage committee in the Lower
+ House. But when success began to loom large before us the Democrats were
+ called in caucus by the minority leader, Mr. Underwood, of Alabama, and
+ they downed our measure by a vote of 127 against it to 58 for it. This was
+ evidently done by the Democrats because of the fear that the united votes
+ of Republican and Progressive members, with those of certain Democratic
+ members, would carry the measure; whereas if this caucus were called, and
+ an unfavorable vote taken, "the gentlemen's agreement" which controls
+ Democratic party action in Congress would force Democrats in favor of
+ suffrage to vote against the appointment of the committee, which of course
+ would insure its defeat.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The caucus blocked the appointment of the committee, but it gave great
+ encouragement to the suffragists of the country, for they knew it to be a
+ tacit admission that the measure would receive a favorable vote if it came
+ before Congress unhampered.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another feature of the 1913 convention was the new method of electing
+ officers, by which a primary vote was taken on nominations, and afterward
+ a regular ballot was cast; one officer was added to the members of the
+ official board, making nine instead of eight, the former number. The new
+ officers elected were Mrs. Breckenridge of Kentucky, the
+ great-granddaughter of Henry Clay, and Mrs. Catherine Ruutz-Rees of
+ Greenwich, Connecticut. The old officers were re-elected&mdash;Miss Jane
+ Addams as first vice-president, Mrs. Breckenridge and Mrs. Ruutz-Rees as
+ second and third vice-presidents, Mrs. Mary Ware Dennett as corresponding
+ secretary, Mrs. Susan Fitzgerald as recording secretary, Mrs. Stanley
+ McCormack as treasurer, Mrs. Joseph Bowen of Chicago and Mrs. James Lees
+ Laidlaw of New York City as auditors.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It would be difficult to secure a group of women of more marked ability,
+ or better-known workers in various lines of philanthropic and educational
+ work, than the members composing this admirable board. At the convention
+ of 1914, held in Nashville, several of them resigned, and at present (in
+ 1914) the "National's" affairs are in the hands of this inspiring group,
+ again headed by the much-criticized and chastened writer of these
+ reminiscences:
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+ Mrs. Stanley McCormack, first vice-president.
+ Mrs. Desha Breckenridge, second vice-president.
+ Dr. Katharine B. Davis, third vice-president.
+ Mrs. Henry Wade Rogers, treasurer.
+ Mrs. John Clark, corresponding secretary.
+ Mrs. Susan Walker Fitzgerald, recording secretary.
+ Mrs. Medill McCormack, }
+ } Auditors
+ Mrs. Walter McNabb Miller, of Missouri }
+</pre>
+ <p>
+ In a book of this size, and covering the details of my own life as well as
+ the development of the great Cause, it is, of course, impossible to
+ mention by name each woman who has worked for us&mdash;though, indeed, I
+ would like to make a roll of honor and give them all their due. In looking
+ back I am surprised to see how little I have said about many women with
+ whom I have worked most closely&mdash;Rachel Foster Avery, for example,
+ with whom I lived happily for several years; Ida Husted Harper, the
+ historian of the suffrage movement and the biographer of Miss Anthony,
+ with whom I made many delightful voyages to Europe; Alice Stone Blackwell,
+ Rev. Mary Saffard, Jane Addams, Katharine Waugh McCullough, Ella Stewart,
+ Mrs. Mary Wood Swift, Mrs. Mary S. Sperry, Mary Cogshall, Florence Kelly,
+ Mrs. Ogden Mills Reid and Mrs. Norman Whitehouse (to mention only two of
+ the younger "live wires" in our New York work), Sophonisba Breckenridge,
+ Mrs. Clara B. Arthur, Rev. Caroline Bartlett Crane, Mrs. James Lees
+ Laidlaw, Mrs. Raymond Brown, the splendidly executive president of our New
+ York State Suffrage Association, and my benefactress, Mrs. George Howard
+ Lewis of Buffalo. To all of them, and to thousands of others, I make my
+ grateful acknowledgment of indebtedness for friendship and for help.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0018" id="link2H_4_0018">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XVI. COUNCIL EPISODES
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ I have said much of the interest attending the international meetings held
+ in Chicago, London, Berlin, and Stockholm. That I have said less about
+ those in Copenhagen, Geneva, The Hague, Budapest, and other cities does
+ not mean that these were less important, and certainly the wonderful women
+ leaders of Europe who made them so brilliant must not be passed over in
+ silence.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ First, however, the difference between the Suffrage Alliance meetings and
+ the International Council meetings should be explained. The Council
+ meetings are made up of societies from the various nations which are
+ auxiliary to the International Council&mdash;these societies representing
+ all lines of women's activities, whether educational, industrial, or
+ social, while the membership, including more than eleven million women,
+ represents probably the largest organization of women in the world. The
+ International Suffrage Alliance represents the suffrage interest
+ primarily, whereas the International Council has only a suffrage
+ department. So popular did this International Alliance become after its
+ formation in Berlin by Mrs. Catt, in 1904, that at the Copenhagen meeting,
+ only three years later, more than sixteen different nations were
+ represented by regular delegates.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It was unfortunate, therefore, that I chose this occasion to make a
+ spectacular personal failure in the pulpit. I had been invited to preach
+ the convention sermon, and for the first time in my life I had an
+ interpreter. Few experiences, I believe, can be more unpleasant than to
+ stand up in a pulpit, utter a remark, and then wait patiently while it is
+ repeated in a tongue one does not understand, by a man who is putting its
+ gist in his own words and quite possibly giving it his own interpretative
+ twist. I was very unhappy, and I fear I showed it, for I felt, as I looked
+ at the faces of those friends who understood Danish, that they were not
+ getting what I was giving them. Nor were they, for I afterward learned
+ that the interpreter, a good orthodox brother, had given the sermon an
+ ultra-orthodox bias which those who knew my creed certainly did not
+ recognize. The whole experience greatly disheartened me, but no doubt it
+ was good for my soul.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ During the Copenhagen meeting we were given a banquet by the City Council,
+ and in the course of his speech of welcome one of the city fathers airily
+ remarked that he hoped on our next visit to Copenhagen there would be
+ women members in the Council to receive us. At the time this seemed merely
+ a pleasant jest, but two years from that day a bill was enacted by
+ Parliament granting municipal suffrage to the women of Denmark, and seven
+ women were elected to the City Council of Copenhagen. So rapidly does the
+ woman suffrage movement grow in these inspiring days!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Recalling the International Council of 1899 in London, one of my most
+ vivid pictures has Queen Victoria for its central figure. The English
+ court was in mourning at the time and no public audiences were being held;
+ but we were invited to Windsor with the understanding that, although the
+ Queen could not formally receive us, she would pass through our lines,
+ receiving Lady Aberdeen and giving the rest of us an opportunity to
+ courtesy and obtain Her Majesty's recognition of the Cause. The Queen
+ arranged with her chamberlain that we should be given tea and a collation;
+ but before this refreshment was served, indeed immediately after our
+ arrival, she entered her familiar little pony-cart and was driven slowly
+ along lines of bowing women who must have looked like a wheat-field in a
+ high wind.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Among us was a group of Indian women, and these, dressed in their native
+ costumes, contributed a picturesque bit of brilliant color to the scene as
+ they deeply salaamed. They arrested the eye of the Queen, who stopped and
+ spoke a few cordial words to them. This gave the rest of us an excellent
+ opportunity to observe her closely, and I admit that my English blood
+ stirred in me suddenly and loyally as I studied the plump little figure.
+ She was dressed entirely and very simply in black, with a quaint flat
+ black hat and a black cape. The only bit of color about her was a
+ black-and-white parasol with a gold handle. It was, however, her face
+ which held me, for it gave me a wholly different impression of the Queen
+ from those I had received from her photographs. Her pictured eyes were
+ always rather cold, and her pictured face rather haughty; but there was a
+ very sweet and winning softness in the eyes she turned upon the Indian
+ women, and her whole expression was unexpectedly gentle and benignant.
+ Behind her, as a personal attendant, strode an enormous East-Indian in
+ full native costume, and closely surrounding her were gentlemen of her
+ household, each in uniform.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ By this time my thoughts were on my courtesy, which I desired to make
+ conventional if not graceful; but nature has not made it easy for me to
+ double to the earth as Lady Aberdeen and the Indian women were doing, and
+ I fear I accomplished little save an exhibition of good intentions. The
+ Queen, however, was getting into the spirit of the occasion. She stopped
+ to speak to a Canadian representative, and she would, I think, have ended
+ by talking to many others; but, just at the psychological moment, a woman
+ rushed out of the line, seized Her Majesty's hand and kissed it&mdash;and
+ Victoria, startled and possibly fearing a general onslaught, hurriedly
+ passed on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Another picture I recall was made by the Duchess of Sutherland, the
+ Countess of Aberdeen, and the Countess of Warwick standing together to
+ receive us at the foot of the marble stairway in Sutherland House. All of
+ them literally blazed with jewels, and the Countess of Aberdeen wore the
+ famous Aberdeen emerald. At Lady Battersea's reception I had my first
+ memorial meeting with Mary Anderson Navarro, and was able to thank her for
+ the pleasure she had given me in Boston so long ago. Then I reproached her
+ mildly for taking herself away from us, pointing out that a great gift had
+ been given her which she should have continued to share with the world.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Come and see my baby," laughed Madame Navarro. "That's the best argument
+ I can offer to refute yours."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the same reception I had an interesting talk with James Bryce. He had
+ recently written his American Commonwealth, and I had just read it. It
+ was, therefore, the first subject I introduced in our conversation. Mr.
+ Bryce's comment amused me. He told me he had quite changed his opinion
+ toward the suffrage aspirations of women, because so many women had read
+ his book that he really believed they were intelligent, and he had come to
+ feel much more kindly toward them. These were not his exact words, but his
+ meaning was unmistakable and his mental attitude artlessly sincere. And,
+ on reflection, I agree with him that the American Commonwealth is
+ something of an intellectual hurdle for the average human mind.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1908 the International Council was held in Geneva, and here, for the
+ first time, we were shown, as entertainment, the dances of a country&mdash;the
+ scene being an especially brilliant one, as all the dancers wore their
+ native costumes. Also, for the first time in the history of Geneva, the
+ buildings of Parliament were opened to women and a woman's organization
+ was given the key to the city. At that time the Swiss women were making
+ their fight for a vote in church matters, and we helped their cause as
+ much as we could. To-day many Swiss women are permitted to exercise this
+ right&mdash;the first political privilege free Switzerland has given them.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The International Alliance meeting in Amsterdam in 1909 was the largest
+ held up to that time, and much of its success was due to Dr. Aletta
+ Jacobs, the president of the National Suffrage Association of Holland. Dr.
+ Jacobs had some wonderful helpers among the women of her country, and she
+ herself was an ideal leader&mdash;patient, enthusiastic, and tireless.
+ That year the governments of Australia, Norway, and Finland paid the
+ expenses of the delegates from those countries&mdash;a heartening
+ innovation. One of the interesting features of the meeting was a cantata
+ composed for the occasion and given by the Queen's Royal Band, under the
+ direction of a woman&mdash;Catharine van Rennes, one of the most
+ distinguished composers and teachers in Holland. She wrote both words and
+ music of her cantata and directed it admirably; and the musicians of the
+ Queen's Band entered fully into its spirit and played like men inspired.
+ That night we had more music, as well as a never-to-be-forgotten
+ exhibition of folk-dancing.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The same year, in June, we held the meeting of the International Council
+ in Toronto, and, as Canada has never been eagerly interested in suffrage,
+ an unsuccessful effort was made to exclude this subject from the
+ programme. I was asked to preside at the suffrage meetings on the artless
+ and obvious theory that I would thus be kept too busy to say much. I had
+ hoped that the Countess of Aberdeen, who was the president of the
+ International Council, would take the chair; but she declined to do this,
+ or even to speak, as the Earl of Aberdeen had recently been appointed
+ Viceroy of Ireland, and she desired to spare him any embarrassment which
+ might be caused by her public activities. We recognized the wisdom of her
+ decision, but, of course, regretted it; and I was therefore especially
+ pleased when, on suffrage night, the countess, accompanied by her aides in
+ their brilliant uniforms, entered the hall. We had not been sure that she
+ would be with us, but she entered in her usual charming and gracious
+ manner, took a seat beside me on the platform, and showed a deep interest
+ in the programme and the great gathering before us.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As the meeting went on I saw that she was growing more and more
+ enthusiastic, and toward the end of the evening I quietly asked her if she
+ did not wish to say a few words. She said she would say a very few. I had
+ put myself at the end of the programme, intending to talk about twenty
+ minutes; but before beginning my speech I introduced the countess, and by
+ this time she was so enthusiastic that, to my great delight, she used up
+ my twenty minutes in a capital speech in which she came out vigorously for
+ woman suffrage. It gave us the best and timeliest help we could have had,
+ and was a great impetus to the movement.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In London, at the Alliance Council of 1911, we were entertained for the
+ first time by a suffrage organization of men, and by the organized
+ actresses of the nation, as well as by the authors.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In Stockholm, the following year, we listened to several of the most
+ interesting women speakers in the world&mdash;Selma Lagerlof, who had just
+ received the Nobel prize, Rosica Schwimmer of Hungary, Dr. Augsburg of
+ Munich, and Mrs. Philip Snowden of England. Miss Schwimmer and Mrs.
+ Snowden have since become familiar to American audiences, but until that
+ time I had not heard either of them, and I was immensely impressed by
+ their ability and their different methods&mdash;Miss Schwimmer being all
+ force and fire, alive from her feet to her finger-tips, Mrs. Snowden all
+ quiet reserve and dignity. Dr. Augsburg wore her hair short and dressed in
+ a most eccentric manner; but we forgot her appearance as we listened to
+ her, for she was an inspired speaker.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Selma Lagerlof's speech made the great audience weep. Men as well as women
+ openly wiped their eyes as she described the sacrifice and suffering of
+ Swedish women whose men had gone to America to make a home there, and who,
+ when they were left behind, struggled alone, waiting and hoping for the
+ message to join their husbands, which too often never came. The speech
+ made so great an impression that we had it translated and distributed
+ among the Swedes of the United States wherever we held meetings in Swedish
+ localities.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Miss Lagerlof interested me extremely, and I was delighted by an
+ invitation to breakfast with her one morning. At our first meeting she had
+ seemed rather cold and shy&mdash;a little "difficult," as we say; but when
+ we began to talk I found her frank, cordial, and full of magnetism. She is
+ self-conscious about her English, but really speaks our language very
+ well. Her great interest at the time was in improving the condition of the
+ peasants near her home. She talked of this work and of her books and of
+ the Council programme with such friendly intimacy that when we parted I
+ felt that I had always known her.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ At the Hague Council in 1913 I was the guest of Mrs. Richard Halter, to
+ whom I am also indebted for a beautiful and wonderful motor journey from
+ end to end of Holland, bringing up finally in Amsterdam at the home of Dr.
+ Aletta Jacobs. Here we met two young Holland women, Miss Boissevain and
+ Rosa Manus, both wealthy, both anxious to help their countrywomen, but
+ still a little uncertain as to the direction of their efforts. They came
+ to Mrs. Catt and me and asked our advice as to what they should do, with
+ the result that later they organized and put through, largely unaided, a
+ national exposition showing the development of women's work from 1813 to
+ 1913. The suffrage-room at this exposition showed the progress of suffrage
+ in all parts of the world; but when the Queen of Holland visited the
+ building she expressed a wish not to be detained in this room, as she was
+ not interested in suffrage. The Prince Consort, however, spent much time
+ in it, and wanted the whole suffrage movement explained to him, which was
+ done cheerfully and thoroughly by Miss Boissevain and Miss Manus. The
+ following winter, when the Queen read her address from the throne, she
+ expressed an interest in so changing the Constitution of Holland that
+ suffrage might possibly be extended to women. We felt that this change of
+ heart was due to the suffrage-room arranged by our two young friends&mdash;aided,
+ probably, by a few words from the Prince Consort!
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Immediately after these days at Amsterdam we started for Budapest to
+ attend the International Alliance Convention there, and incidentally we
+ indulged in a series of two-day conventions en route&mdash;one at Berlin,
+ one at Dresden, one at Prague, and one at Vienna. At Prague I disgraced
+ myself by being in my hotel room in a sleep of utter exhaustion at the
+ hour when I was supposed to be responding to an address of welcome by the
+ mayor; and the high-light of the evening session in that city falls on the
+ intellectual brow of a Bohemian lady who insisted on making her address in
+ the Czech language, which she poured forth for exactly one hour and
+ fifteen minutes. I began my address at a quarter of twelve and left the
+ hall at midnight. Later I learned that the last speaker began her remarks
+ at a quarter past one in the morning.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ It may be in order to add here that Vienna did for me what Berlin had done
+ for Susan B. Anthony&mdash;it gave me the ovation of my life. At the
+ conclusion of my speech the great audience rose and, still standing,
+ cheered for many minutes. I was immensely surprised and deeply touched by
+ the unexpected tribute; but any undue elation I might have experienced was
+ checked by the memory of the skeptical snort with which one of my auditors
+ had received me. He was very German, and very, very frank. After one
+ pained look at me he rose to leave the hall.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "THAT old woman!" he exclaimed. "She cannot make herself heard."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ He was half-way down the aisle when the opening words of my address caught
+ up with him and stopped him. Whatever their meaning may have been, it was
+ at least carried to the far ends of that great hall, for the old fellow
+ had piqued me a bit and I had given my voice its fullest volume. He
+ crowded into an already over-occupied pew and stared at me with goggling
+ eyes.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Mein Gott!" he gasped. "Mein Gott, she could be heard ANYWHERE."
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ The meeting at Budapest was a great personal triumph for Mrs. Catt. No
+ one, I am sure, but the almost adored president of the International
+ Suffrage Alliance could have controlled a convention made up of women of
+ so many different nationalities, with so many different viewpoints, while
+ the confusion of languages made a general understanding seem almost
+ hopeless. But it was a great success in every way&mdash;and a delightful
+ feature of it was the hospitality of the city officials and, indeed, of
+ the whole Hungarian people. After the convention I spent a week with the
+ Contessa Iska Teleki in her chateau in the Tatra Mountains, and a
+ friendship was there formed which ever since has been a joy to me.
+ Together we walked miles over the mountains and along the banks of
+ wonderful streams, while the countess, who knows all the folk-lore of her
+ land, told me stories and answered my innumerable questions. When I left
+ for Vienna I took with me a basket of tiny fir-trees from the tops of the
+ Tatras; and after carrying the basket to and around Vienna, Florence, and
+ Genoa, I finally got the trees home in good condition and proudly added
+ them to the "Forest of Arden" on my place at Moylan.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ <a name="link2H_4_0019" id="link2H_4_0019">
+ <!-- H2 anchor --> </a>
+ </p>
+ <div style="height: 4em;">
+ <br /><br /><br /><br />
+ </div>
+ <h2>
+ XVII. VALE!
+ </h2>
+ <p>
+ In looking back over the ten years of my administration as president of
+ the National American Woman Suffrage Association, there can be no feeling
+ but gratitude and elation over the growth of the work. Our membership has
+ grown from 17,000 women to more than 200,000, and the number of auxiliary
+ societies has increased in proportion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Instead of the old-time experience of one campaign in ten years, we now
+ have from five to ten campaigns each year. From an original yearly
+ expenditure of $14,000 or $15,000 in our campaign work, we now expend from
+ $40,000 to $50,000. In New York, in 1915, we have already received pledges
+ of $150,000 for the New York State campaign alone, while Pennsylvania,
+ Massachusetts, and New Jersey have made pledges in proportion.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ In 1906 full suffrage prevailed in four states; we now have it in twelve.
+ Our movement has advanced from its academic stage until it has become a
+ vital political factor; no reform in the country is more heralded by the
+ press or receives more attention from the public. It has become an issue
+ which engages the attention of the entire nation&mdash;and toward this
+ result every woman working for the Cause has contributed to an inspiring
+ degree. Splendid team-work, and that alone, has made our present success
+ possible and our eventual triumph in every state inevitable. Every officer
+ in our organization, every leader in our campaigns, every speaker, every
+ worker in the ranks, however humble, has done her share.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I do not claim anything so fantastic and Utopian as universal harmony
+ among us. We have had our troubles and our differences. I have had mine.
+ At every annual convention since the one at Washington in 1910 there has
+ been an effort to depose me from the presidency. There have been some
+ splendid fighters among my opponents&mdash;fine and high-minded women who
+ sincerely believe that at sixty-eight I am getting too old for my big job.
+ Possibly I am. Certainly I shall resign it with alacrity when the majority
+ of women in the organization wish me to do so. At present a large majority
+ proves annually that it still has faith in my leadership, and with this
+ assurance I am content to work on.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ Looking back over the period covered by these reminiscences, I realize
+ that there is truth in the grave charge that I am no longer young; and
+ this truth was once voiced by one of my little nieces in a way that
+ brought it strongly home to me. She and her small sister of six had
+ declared themselves suffragettes, and as the first result of their
+ conversion to the Cause both had been laughed at by their schoolmates. The
+ younger child came home after this tragic experience, weeping bitterly and
+ declaring that she did not wish to be a suffragette any more&mdash;an
+ exhibition of apostasy for which her wise sister of eight took her roundly
+ to task.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ "Aren't you ashamed of yourself," she demanded, "to stop just because you
+ have been laughed at once? Look at Aunt Anna! SHE has been laughed at for
+ hundreds of years!"
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ I sometimes feel that it has indeed been hundreds of years since my work
+ began; and then again it seems so brief a time that, by listening for a
+ moment, I fancy I can hear the echo of my childish-voice preaching to the
+ trees in the Michigan woods.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ But long or short, the one sure thing is that, taking it all in all, the
+ struggles, the discouragements, the failures, and the little victories,
+ the fight has been, as Susan B. Anthony said in her last hours, "worth
+ while." Nothing bigger can come to a human being than to love a great
+ Cause more than life itself, and to have the privilege throughout life of
+ working for that Cause.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ As for life's other gifts, I have had some of them, too. I have made many
+ friendships; I have looked upon the beauty of many lands; I have the
+ assurance of the respect and affection of thousands of men and women I
+ have never even met. Though I have given all I had, I have received a
+ thousand times more than I have given. Neither the world nor my Cause is
+ indebted to me but from the depths of a full and very grateful heart I
+ acknowledge my lasting indebtedness to them both.
+ </p>
+ <p>
+ THE END <br /><br />
+ </p>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+
+
+
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