initial commit of ebook 35574HEADmain

45 files changed, 13886 insertions, 0 deletions

diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6833f05
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.gitattributes
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+* text=auto
+*.txt text
+*.md text
diff --git a/35574-8.txt b/35574-8.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..07221f0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-8.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,3791 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Seeing France with Uncle John
+
+Author: Anne Warner
+
+Illustrator: May Wilson Preston
+
+Release Date: March 14, 2011 [EBook #35574]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  Transcribers note:
+                     1. A minor error has been corrected in Chapter V
+                        (Section on Beauvais) luuch changed to lunch.
+                     2. Ligature [oe] replaced with oe.
+
+
+
+
+  _Seeing France With Uncle John_
+
+
+
+
+  [Illustration: "I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while
+  he kept up a running contradiction of everything I read."]
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+  _Seeing France With Uncle John_
+
+  _By_
+
+  _Anne Warner_
+
+  _Author of "Susan Clegg and her friend Mrs. Lathrop," etc._
+
+  _With Illustrations by_
+
+  _May Wilson Preston_
+
+  [Illustration]
+
+  _New York The Century Co. 1906_
+
+
+         *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+  Copyright, 1906, by THE CENTURY CO.
+
+  _Published October, 1906_
+
+  THE DE VINNE PRESS
+
+
+
+
+_List of Illustrations_
+
+
+                                                                  PAGE
+  "I held the guide-book and read the explanations,
+      while he kept up a running contradiction of
+      everything I read"                                _Frontispiece_
+
+  "She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet"                           8
+
+  "While we walk"                                                    9
+
+  Rouen--Maison du XV siècle                                        24
+
+  "'Richard Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh?'"                         33
+
+  "'So that's the clock?'"                                          41
+
+  "'There's been no tampering with _this_ ruin'"                    65
+
+  "'This is as good a time as we'll have to study up on Gisors'"    79
+
+  "'Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt'"                  93
+
+  Beauvais                                                          96
+
+  "'What's that chopped-off creation before us?'"                   99
+
+  "'Look how mad that old lady is'"                                105
+
+  "We found our beloved relative"                                  116
+
+  "She took hold of our hands as if she'd been our long-lost
+      mother for years"                                            121
+
+  Dreux                                                            150
+
+  "Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a
+      dollar a day, and Uncle said, 'Great Scott!'"                157
+
+  Falaise                                                          160
+
+  "Paid the man at the entrance and let him go"                    163
+
+  "The coming down was awful"                                      168
+
+  "'I'm happy that it will be out of the question for me ever to
+      travel again'"                                               177
+
+  "Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and  I know she didn't
+      like it by the way she looked at him"                        195
+
+  Caen                                                             198
+
+  "He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot even think
+      calmly of a stair-case yet"                                  205
+
+  Bayeux                                                           216
+
+  "And it was Lee"                                                 221
+
+  "We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along for
+      dear life"                                                   228
+
+  "Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest"               245
+
+  In Mont-Saint-Michel                                             276
+
+  "Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily"            281
+
+  "Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say she is going to Dol"        293
+
+  A Street in Auray                                                301
+
+  "When he went to wash I gave the waiter an extra tip to feed
+      us quickly"                                                  303
+
+  "Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast"                         307
+
+  "He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale to our
+      trip all along," etc.                                        315
+
+
+
+
+_Seeing France With Uncle John_
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Seeing France With Uncle John
+
+
+
+
+I
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                              _Second day out at sea._
+
+Dear Mama: We did get off at last, about four in the afternoon, but you
+never imagined anything like the day we had with Uncle John. It was
+awful, and, as luck would have it, he just happened to go aft or
+sou'west, or whatever it is on shipboard, in time to see them drop his
+trunk into the hold, and they let it fall from such a height that he
+swore for an hour. I don't see why Uncle is so unreasonable; a Russian
+gentleman had the locks broken to both his trunks and just smiled, and a
+very lovely Italian lady had her trunk caved in by the hoisting-rope and
+only shrugged her shoulders; but Uncle turned the whole deck fairly
+black and blue on account of a little fall into the hold. If Lee had
+only been along to soothe him down! But Lee is in London by this time. I
+do think he might have waited and gone with us, but Uncle says he's glad
+he didn't, because he says he has more than half an idea that Lee's in
+love with me, and that no girl alive could be happy with him. I wish
+Uncle liked Lee better. I wish Lee wouldn't slap him on the back and
+call him "old boy" the way he does.
+
+Mrs. Clary doesn't like it because she has to sit next to the doctor and
+talk English to him, and he can't talk English. She says whenever she
+goes on board a liner the doctor always spots her as intelligent-looking,
+and has her put next to him for English purposes. She says she's made
+seven trips as nursery-governess to a doctor with linguistic aspirations.
+The consequence is, she has most of her meals on deck with a man named
+Mr. Chopstone. Uncle doesn't like Mr. Chopstone, because he says he has
+a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Chopstone admires Edna. He says Edna could
+never be happy with a man like Mr. Chopstone.
+
+More later.
+
+
+                                                     _Fourth day out._
+
+I've been writing Lee; I can mail it at Plymouth. It does seem to me as
+if Lee might have waited and gone with us.
+
+We are nicely adjusted now, and Uncle has had his trunk brought to his
+room, and has examined the corners and found them intact; so now the
+trunk is off his mind. But he has almost had fits over a man named
+Monsieur Sibilet, so the situation has been about as brimstony as ever.
+M. Sibilet is a Frenchman going back to France, but his chair is next to
+Mrs. Clary's, and Uncle says steamer-chairs are never accidents, but
+are always premeditated and with intent to kill. He asked Mrs. Clary if
+she couldn't see that no woman could ever be happy with a dancing
+fan-tan like Sibilet. We didn't know what a "fan-tan" was, but we all
+agreed with Uncle's premises as to poor monsieur; and then it developed
+that there is a Mme. Sibilet deathly sick down below, and Uncle said
+that he had known it all the time and was only joking.
+
+Edna and Harry are very happy, but they have to be awfully careful,
+because Uncle says he has a half-fledged notion that Harry is paying
+attention to Edna, and that he won't allow anything of the kind--not for
+one York second. We don't know what a "York second" is, and we haven't
+asked. Uncle plays poker nights, and we make the most of it. There is a
+nice Yale man on board, and I walk around with him. His name is Edgar.
+Uncle says he looks as if he had his bait out for a fortune, but Mrs.
+Clary says to never mind it--to go right on walking. She lies still
+while we walk, and talks to M. Sibilet in French.
+
+[Illustration: "She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet"]
+
+Uncle says he is the head of this expedition, and there's to be no
+foolishness. He says it's all rot about a man not being able to see
+through women, and that Edna and I needn't expect to keep any secrets
+from him. I do wish Lee was here to soothe him down. He was so furious
+to-day because he shut up his wash-stand and let the tooth-powder slide
+to perdition. M. Sibilet offered him an extra box of his own, but Uncle
+wasn't a bit grateful. He says he is sure M. Sibilet is in love with
+Mrs. Clary now, or why under the sun should he offer him his
+tooth-powder? He says he thinks it's disgraceful, considering poor Mme.
+Sibilet, and he took mine instead.
+
+More later.
+
+[Illustration: "While we walk"]
+
+
+                                                      _Sixth day out._
+
+I do wish we were in Havre, or anywhere where Uncle had more room. The
+third officer invited him up on the bridge yesterday, and Uncle says you
+needn't tell him that any third officer in this world ever would invite
+him up to the bridge unless he had his eye on Edna or me. Uncle says for
+Edna and me to remember that old uncles have eyes as well as young third
+officers, and to bear in mind that it would be a dog's life to be
+married to a third officer. I'm beginning to be very glad, indeed, that
+Lee took another steamer; I reckon Lee saw how it would be. Uncle says
+he'd like to know what we took a slow steamer for, anyhow. He says it
+would have been more comfortable to have all been in death agonies and
+to have been in Havre by this time. He was terribly upset to-day by Mme.
+Sibilet's coming on deck and proving to be an old lady with white hair
+and the mother of monsieur instead of the wife. He says you needn't talk
+to him about French honor after this. We don't know what the connection
+is between poor old Mme. Sibilet and French honor, but we think it best
+not to ask. The truth is, Uncle lost all patience with M. Sibilet the
+day it rained and pitched--I think it was the third day out. He never
+did like him very much, anyhow. Mrs. Clary wanted to sit in the wind
+that day, and she and monsieur sat in the wind until the rain grew so
+bad that they were absolutely driven to come around and sit by Uncle,
+under the lee of the port, or whatever it is on board ship. Monsieur
+lugged Mrs. Clary's chair because he couldn't find a steward, and he
+brought it around by the smoking-room and the whole length of the deck,
+with the steamer pitching so that half the time he was on top of the
+chair, and the other half of the time the chair was on top of him. There
+was no one on deck but us, on account of the storm, and I thought we
+should die laughing, because there were forty empty chairs under shelter
+already. Uncle waited until, with a final slip and a slide, the poor man
+landed the chair, and then he screamed: "I say, Sibbilly, just take the
+cards out and change _them_ another time. That's the way we Americans
+do."
+
+You should have seen poor monsieur's face! Uncle said the whole affair
+gave him a queer feeling as to what might be in store for us in France.
+He said if M. Sibilet was a sample Frenchman, he thought he wouldn't get
+off at Havre, after all.
+
+Mrs. Clary is in lots of trouble over the doctor. He comes up on deck
+and bothers her half to death, talking English. She can't understand his
+English, and M. Sibilet gets tired translating. M. Sibilet speaks seven
+languages. Uncle says that's nothing to his credit, however.
+
+More later.
+
+
+                                                      _Ninth day out._
+
+Uncle is in high spirits to-day, for he won the pool. He has been so
+disgusted because Mr. Edgar has won it three times. Uncle says that's no
+sign he'd be a good husband, though. I do think Uncle's logic is so very
+peculiar. He came into my state-room to-day and asked me if I didn't
+think the doctor was absolutely impertinent in the way he was pursuing
+Mrs. Clary. You'd have thought the doctor tore after her around the
+deck, to hear him. He said he expected to have trouble with Edna and me,
+but he never looked for Mrs. Clary to be a care. He said he didn't
+suppose she was over forty, but she ought to consider appearances more.
+He was quite put out, and I am gladder than ever that Lee isn't with us.
+
+We laughed ourselves half sick to-day over Mr. Chopstone. Uncle's
+port-hole doesn't work very easily, and Mr. Chopstone heard him talking
+about it to himself as he passed in the corridor, and he went in to help
+him. Uncle asked Mr. Chopstone if he had a crow-bar or a monkey-wrench
+with him, and Mr. Chopstone didn't have a crow-bar or a monkey-wrench
+with him, but said why not ring for the steward. Uncle wouldn't hear to
+the steward, and so they climbed on the divan together and tried to pry
+it with Uncle's hair-brush.
+
+The hair-brush broke, and Uncle went spinning, but Mr. Chopstone caught
+his cuff in the crack, and it tore, and half of his shirt-sleeve with a
+diamond cuff-link went to sea. At first we all felt awful about it, but
+he was so composed that Edna said he must be a millionaire, and Uncle
+said it must be a paste diamond. That is all only preliminary to the
+funny part. This afternoon we were lying in our chairs and Uncle was
+standing by the rail looking at a ship. All of a sudden he exclaimed,
+"Great Scott! Chopstone, if there isn't your cuff!" Mr. Chopstone made
+just one bound from his chair to the rail, and looked over so hard that
+his cap fell into the sea. Of course the mere idea of the cuff having
+sailed as fast as we did all day used us up completely, and Uncle in
+particular had to hang to the rail for support while he sort of wove
+back and forth in an ecstasy of speechless joy. Even M. Sibilet was
+overcome by mirth, although it turned out afterward that he thought the
+fun was on account of the lost cap. And then, when we got ourselves
+selves under control once more, Mr. Chopstone explained that what he had
+thought was that the cuff had caught somewhere on the outside of the
+steamer and that Uncle saw it hanging there. Edna says that it all
+shows that poor Mr. Chopstone is _not_ a millionaire, and Mrs. Clary
+says it proves, too, that it _was_ a real diamond.
+
+It is beginning to seem like a pretty long trip, and Mrs. Clary has
+started packing her trunk. The little flag that marks our progress
+across the chart is making Europe in great jumps, and we are all glad.
+Uncle gets more restless every day, and he says if the doctor don't quit
+coming up on deck to talk to Mrs. Clary, something will soon drop. The
+doctor is really very amusing; he says the first officer has a pet
+"marmadillo," but we cannot see it because it is too anxious. He means
+"frightened," it seems. Mr. Edgar is very nice; both he and Mr.
+Chopstone are going to Paris. Lee will be in Paris by Wednesday, I
+hope, and I most sincerely trust he will keep on the right side of
+Uncle.
+
+They say we will land early day after to-morrow. I can mail my letters
+in Plymouth to-morrow evening. Uncle says he's going express hereafter;
+he says no more dilly-dally voyages for him.
+
+
+                                                      _Tenth day out._
+
+What do you think! Uncle took me into the parlor after dinner to-night
+and told me that he wasn't going to Paris with the rest. He says he
+didn't come abroad to scurry around like a wild rabbit, and that he's
+going to stop in Havre for a day or two. He says Edna and I had better
+stay with him, as he can't think of our traveling with Mr. Edgar and
+Mr. Chopstone alone. I said, "But there's Mrs. Clary." And he said,
+"Yes; but you forget Sibbilly." I do think Uncle's logic is so
+remarkable.
+
+
+                                                   _Eleventh day out._
+
+Everybody is getting their trunks in from the baggage-room and running
+to the rail to look at ships. Uncle won the pool again to-day; he says
+this is one of the pleasantest trips he ever made, and he shook hands
+with M. Sibilet when he met him on deck this morning.
+
+Mrs. Clary is awfully upset over our staying in Havre, and she says if
+Lee is in Paris he won't like it, either. We expect a mail in Plymouth.
+
+
+                                                              _Later._
+
+The mail came, and I had a letter from Lee. He is going to Russia for a
+week, and he folded in an extra piece, saying to give Uncle the letter.
+It was a funny kind of letter, but of course it had to be a funny kind
+of letter if I was to give it to Uncle. I gave it to Uncle, and he said,
+"Hum!" and that was all. He says if Mr. Edgar or Mr. Chopstone stay in
+Havre he'll know the reason why. I do think Uncle might be more
+reasonable. Edna has been crying. She doesn't want to stay in Havre;
+she wants to go to Paris when Harry goes.
+
+                                           Yours with love, as ever,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+II
+
+UNCLE JOHN IN ROUEN
+
+
+                                                                9 A.M.
+
+"Well, girls, are you ready to get up and out and set about improving
+your minds? I've been reading the guide-book and spilling my coffee with
+trying to do two things at once, ever since eight o'clock. But what your
+Uncle John doesn't know about Rouen now isn't worth stopping to look up
+in the index. Why, I've even got the real French twang to the
+pronunciation. It's Rooank; only you stop short of the 'n' and the 'k,'
+so to speak. The waiter who brought my breakfast showed me how to do
+it--said he never saw a foreigner catch on to the trick so quick before.
+I gave him one of those slim little quarters they have here, and he was
+so pleased that he taught me how to say 'Joan of Arc' for nothing. It's
+Shondark--_Shondark_. I learned it in no time. Well, come on, if you're
+ready. I've been waiting almost an hour.
+
+[Illustration: Rouen--Maison du XV siècle]
+
+"I declare, but this fresh, free atmosphere is refreshing! As soon as
+you get outside of your bedroom door you begin to get the full benefit
+of the Continental climate. I presume, if you're poor, you get it as
+soon as you get outside of your bed clothes. Rather a medieval
+staircase, eh? And four orange-trees at the bottom to try and fool us
+into feeling balmy. However, I don't mind little discomforts: all I mind
+is being shut up on a ship with a darned fool like that man Sibbilly. I
+shouldn't wonder if his mother was his wife, after all. I could believe
+anything of him. I didn't like him.
+
+"We'll go to take in the cathedral first; it isn't far, and I've got it
+all by heart. Thirteenth century and unsymmetrical--you must remember
+that. There, that's it ahead there--with the scaffolding. They're
+bolstering it up somewhat, so as to keep on hooking tourists, I presume.
+The biggest tower is the Butter Tower, built out of paid-for permissions
+to eat butter in Lent. Rather a rough joke, its being so much the
+biggest, isn't it? The whole cathedral's lopsided from eating butter, so
+to speak. I believe it's the thing to stop in front and act as if you
+were overcome; so we'll just call a halt here and take in the general
+effect of the scaffolding.
+
+"Now we'll walk around the whole thing. I haven't come abroad to take
+life with a hop, skip, and jump; I've come to be thorough, and I want
+you girls to form the habit of being thorough, too. What I didn't like
+about that fellow Edgar was his not being thorough. When he went down to
+look at the ship's machinery he only stayed an hour. Now, I didn't go at
+all; but if I had gone, I should have stayed more than an hour. Good job
+of scaffolding, isn't it? You see, they make the scaffolding out of
+young trees withed together, and use them over and over. Economical.
+Just about what you'd expect of Sibbilly. Those gargoyles and saints
+around the top stick their heads out pretty interested-like, don't they?
+But their view is for the most part blocked. Now this cheerful old jail
+at the back is the palace of the archbishop. I wish, young ladies, that
+you would note those little bits of high windows and the good thick bars
+across them as illustrating the secure faith that the dead and gone
+archbishops had in their loving people. I'll bet there's been plenty of
+battering and rioting around under these walls, first and last; plenty
+of fists and sticks and stones. It's big, isn't it? Big as half a block,
+and things look so much bigger here than they do at home. They slide a
+roof up slanting and cock it full of little crooked windows, and you
+feel as if you must tip over backward to take in the top. I vow, I don't
+just see how it's done; but--oh, here's where we go in. This dark, damp
+little stone-paved alley is the celebrated 'Portail des Libraires,' so
+called because those arcades used to be full of book-stalls. We go along
+on the cobble-stones, throw ourselves hard against this little swinging
+door; it creaks, it yields, we enter--hush!
+
+"Great Scott, isn't it big, and _isn't_ it damp? Will you look up in
+that roof? I feel solemn in spite of myself; but, then, feeling solemn
+is no use: what we want to do is to find some one to open those big iron
+gates, for the most of what is to see is in back there. Edna, you ask
+that man how we can get hold of some other man. Well, what did he say?
+Said to ask the Swiss, did he? What does he mean by that? Is it a joke,
+or can't they trust a Frenchman with their old relics? I've been told
+that in Japanese banks they always have to have a Chinaman to handle the
+money, and maybe it's equally the thing in a French cathedral to have a
+Swiss look after the relics. But the guide-book never said a word about
+a Swiss: it said '_fee_,' and I've got my pocket full of them.
+
+"Well, where can we get a Swiss? I should think he'd be more handy than
+he appears to be. There's another man looking for him, too. He--Great
+Scott! if it isn't--no, that is impossible. Yes, it is!
+
+"I beg your pardon, sir, but is your name Porter? Yes? Robert
+Porter--Bobby Porter that went to the Washington School? Bob, do you
+remember me? Well, of all the larks!
+
+"Girls, this man and I went to school side by side for eight years, and
+he's the finest--my nieces, Bob. That's Edna and this is Yvonne,
+and--you don't say he's your son? Didn't know you ever married. Oh, I'll
+take your word for it, of course; but, I say, Bob, you've got to come
+and dine with us to-night. You must; I won't have it any other way. You
+and I'll have to just sit down and overhaul all our old memories
+together. Do you remember--but how do you come to be in Europe, anyhow;
+and what liner did you line up on? We had a beastly trip,--only came
+from Havre last night,--and, by the way, how in thunder can we get hold
+of the man who opens these iron gates? Everything in the place is back
+there.
+
+"Is that a Swiss--that splendid circus-chariot driver? Give you my word,
+I thought he was a cardinal! How much of a tip is that much gold lace
+going to look forward to getting? I wish he was plainer, somehow. I'll
+tell you, Bob; you pay, and I'll settle up later. I certainly am glad to
+see the gates open; I felt more like a serpent shut out of paradise than
+I ever expected to feel in all my life.
+
+"Well, now we begin. Who's buried here? Henry II of England, eh? I
+can't read Latin, so Henry's virtues and dates are all one to me. Which
+Henry was he, anyhow--the one with six wives or the one who never shed a
+smile? Either way, let's move on.
+
+"What comes next? Richard-Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh? Oh, only a statue
+of him; that's less interesting. I thought at last I was looking at
+Richard when he was himself again. What is our Swiss friend hissing
+about? Heart buried underneath? Whose heart?--Richard's? Ask if it's his
+bona fide heart or only a death-mask of it? Strikes me as a pretty big
+statue to put up to a heart, don't you think, Bob? But come on; I want
+to be looking at something else.
+
+[Illustration: "'Richard Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh?'"]
+
+"So this is the tomb of the husband of Diana of Poitiers? I didn't know
+she ever had a husband--thought she only had a king. I've never been
+brought up to think of Diana of Poitiers mourning a husband. But maybe
+she did, maybe she did. They say you must check your common sense at the
+hotel when you set out to inspect Europe, and I believe it--I believe
+it. It's a nice tomb, and if they kneel and mourn in a gown with a
+train, she certainly is doing it up brown. However, let's go on.
+
+"Two cardinals of Amboise kind of going in procession on their knees
+over their own dead bodies--or maybe it's only hearts again. Well, Bob,
+the Reformation was a great thing, after all, wasn't it? Must have felt
+fine to straighten up for a while. Stop a bit; the guide-book said
+there was something to examine about these two--wait till I find the
+place. Oh, well, never mind; I dare say a guide-book's very handy, but I
+move we quit this damp old hole, anyway. I wouldn't bother to come
+again. That's a sad thing about life, Bob; as soon as you get in front
+of anything and get a square look at it, you're ready to move on--at
+least I am.
+
+"What's he saying? Well, ask him again. Whose grave? Well, ask him
+again. Rollo's! What, Rollo that was 'At Work' and 'At Play' and at
+everything else when we were kids? Another? What other? Well, ask him.
+Rollo the Norman? I don't see anything very remarkable in a Norman being
+buried in Normandy, do you, Bob? When did he die? Well, _ask_ him. What
+are we paying him for, anyway? Died about 900, eh! And this church
+wasn't built till four hundred years later. Where did he spend the time
+while he was waiting to be buried? Well, ask him. I declare, if I could
+talk French, I bet I'd know something about things. You are the
+_dumbest_ lot! Here's Rollo lying around loose for as long as we've had
+America with us, and no one takes any interest in where. Is that the
+tomb he finally got into? Clever idea to have it so dark no one can see
+it, after all. I suppose he thinks we'll be impressed, but I ain't. I
+don't believe Rollo's in there, anyhow.
+
+"Come on; I'm tired of this old church. I move that we go out and look
+at the place where they burned Joan of Arc, or something else that is
+bright and cheerful. What's he saying? No, I don't want to see any
+treasury; I've done enough church-going for one week-day. Give him his
+money, Bob, and let's get out. You tell us where to go next; you must
+know everything, if you were here all day yesterday. I want to see that
+double-faced clock and those carvings of the Field of the Cloth of Gold.
+They're all over in the same direction.
+
+"Good to be out in the air, eh? I vow, I never was great on churches.
+What boat did you come over on? Did it roll? Ours rolled and pitched,
+too. I never saw such a rolling. I tell you, Bob, the man will make a
+fortune who invents a level liner. I used to try and figure on how to
+hang the passenger department in an open square, so it could swing
+free,--do you get the idea?--but I don't know as it could be managed. I
+was trying to work it out one morning, and I came up against the
+wash-stand so sudden that I thought I was cut in two; the next second I
+went backward so quick that the edge of the berth nearly amputated my
+legs; and then the whole craft arose on such a swell that I swallowed
+half my tooth-brush. You may laugh, Bob, but I'm not telling this to be
+funny; I'm telling it for a fact. I had to have the steward in to put
+the washing-apparatus to rights, and I asked him what in thunder was up
+outside. He was standing at an angle of forty-five degrees, looking up
+at me where I sat in the lower berth, and he said, 'If the wind shifts,
+we're very likely to have it rough.' Just then he took on an angle of
+ninety-five degrees, and my trunk slid out on his feet so quick he had
+to hop. I said: 'Have it _rough_, eh? Well, I'm glad to know, so that I
+can take advantage of this calm spell.'
+
+[Illustration: "'So that's the clock!'"]
+
+"So that's the clock! Well, it's a big one, surely--almost as wide as
+the street, although candor compels us to own that the street is about
+the narrowest ever. All right, I'm done; a clock is a clock, and one
+look in its face always tells me all I want to know. Come on; we can't
+stand dilly-dallying if we're to get through Rouen to-day, and I must
+say I consider a day to a town as quite enough in Europe. I know, when
+I was young and traveled for wholesale shoes, I used often and often to
+do three towns a day and never turn a hair. I tell you, Bob, when I
+was--
+
+"Is that the fountain? Hold on; we want to see that! The guide-book has
+it in italics. I don't see anything to underline, though; looks foreign
+to me. Come on; we've got to be getting somewhere, or I shall feel I was
+a fool to stop off at Rouen. Not that I'm not glad to have met you
+again, Bob; but that could have happened anywhere else just as well, you
+know. When did you come over? Last year! Great Scott, what are you
+staying so long for? I bet I get enough in six weeks; I feel as if I'd
+got pretty close to enough now. Not that time ever hangs heavy on my
+hands, you know. No, not by a long shot. I'm the kind of man that can
+always amuse himself. Give me a fair show,--off a ship, of course,--and
+I'll defy any one to get on better. Take the day we landed, for
+instance, there in Havre,--rainy, not a thing to do, and every one else
+off for Paris. You might have looked for me to be a little disgusted,
+naturally; but not a bit of it. The day went like the wind. We landed at
+noon, I slept all the afternoon, and in the evening I took a bath. I
+tell you, Bob, a fellow with brains can get on anywhere. I never know
+what it is to feel bored.
+
+"What's our Goddess of Liberty doing up there? What's that Indian
+beadwork around her feet for? Who? You don't mean to tell me that's Joan
+of Arc? Well, all I can say is, I never imagined her like that. But what
+are the beads? French funeral wreaths! Great Scott! do they keep
+Charlemagne wreathed, too, or is five hundred years the bead-wreath
+limit? Pretty idea, to put up a fountain where they burnt her--keep her
+memory damp at all events, eh? What's the moral of her train turning
+into a dolphin? Just to bring the mind gradually down to the level of
+the fact that it is a fountain, after all, I suppose.
+
+"She wasn't burnt here, anyhow, the book said. The book said she was
+burnt farther over. Smart people here--have two places where she was
+burnt, so people must trot through the whole market if they try to be
+conscientious. Look at that woman, with her bouquet of live
+chickens--novel effect in chickens, eh, Bob? Strikes me it was an
+enterprising idea to burn Joan in the market, anyhow--good business for
+the market. Folks come to see the statue, and incidentally buy some
+peanuts.
+
+"Well, where can we go now? I say to set out and have a look at the
+tower where she was imprisoned. Pulled down! It isn't, either; it's
+starred in the book. What's that? This tower named for her, and hers
+pulled down! Well, there's French honor for you again. What do you think
+of Sibbilly now, Edna? I don't want to see the tower if it ain't the
+real one. I want to see the bas-reliefs of the Field of the Cloth of
+Gold, and then I want to go back to the hotel to lunch. I tell you, this
+sight-seeing is a great appetizer. The more old ruins and burnings I
+look over, the hungrier I get.
+
+"Is this the place? Makes me think of a sort of glorified gate to a
+woodyard. What is it, now? Well, ask somebody! A bank, eh? Are those the
+famous bas-reliefs? Those! Them! Well, well, I must say the touring
+public is easy game. They're all worn off. What's the tin overhead for?
+To keep the rain from damaging them, eh? Pretty bit of sarcasm, eh, Bob?
+Great pity they didn't think to put it four or five hundred years
+sooner. I don't see a man with a head or a horse with a leg from here.
+It lacks character, to my idea. Let's go home. Come on. I've racked
+around Rouen all I care to for one day."
+
+
+
+
+III
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                              _Rouen._
+
+Dearest Mama: It is midnight, and I must tell you the most astonishing
+piece of news. We came here with Uncle last night, and all this morning
+we were out with him. When we came home and unlocked our room we found
+_Lee_ sitting by the window. But he doesn't want Uncle to know. It was
+fortunate that Uncle's room is across the hall, for I screamed. We
+couldn't see how he got in, but he says that he has bent a buttonhook
+so that he can travel all over Europe. It seems he never meant to go to
+Russia at all; but he doesn't want Uncle to know. He says he thinks
+Russia is a good place for Uncle to imagine him in. We had such fun! We
+told him all about the voyage and all about Uncle. He says M. Sibilet's
+mother _is_ his wife--he married her for money. He says he's a painter.
+Lee is really going yachting, but he doesn't want Uncle to know. He
+isn't going for a while, though; and he doesn't want Uncle to know that,
+either. While we were talking, Uncle rapped, and Lee had to get into the
+wardrobe while Uncle came in and read us a lecture. When we were in the
+cathedral to-day he found a man he used to know in school, and he was
+utterly overjoyed until he saw that the man had a son; and then, of
+course, he was worried over the son. So he came in to-night to tell us
+that it he discovered any skylarking, he should at once give up a
+friendship which had always meant more to him than we young things could
+possibly imagine. He said we must understand that he'd have no sort of
+foolishness going on, and at that the wardrobe creaked so awfully that
+Edna had a fit of coughing, and I didn't know what I should have if he
+kept on. He didn't go until it was high lunch-time, and I was afraid Lee
+would have to stay in the wardrobe until he smothered. When Uncle was
+gone, Edna asked Lee how under the sun he kept still, and he said he
+nearly died, because so many hooks hooked into his coat and he had
+nothing to perch on except shoe-trees. I do think Lee is so clever. I
+wish Uncle thought so, too. He went to his room, and we lunched with
+Uncle, Mr. Porter, and Mr. Porter, Jr.; and afterward we visited the
+church of the Bon-Secours and the monument to Jeanne d'Arc. She stands
+on top, her hands manacled, with her big, frightened eyes staring sadly
+and steadily out over the town where she met death. Uncle admired her so
+much that he tripped on one of the sheep that are carved on the steps,
+and after that he didn't admire anything or anybody. We got back about
+five, and Lee came in for a visit of an hour. Lee says he had a fine
+voyage. It stormed, and he says he never was battened down with such a
+lively lot of people. Uncle came in twice while he was there, but Lee
+has the wardrobe by heart now, and doesn't take a second. He says the
+men he's going yachting with are great sport, and he expects to have the
+time of his life. I do wish Uncle liked Lee, so that he could go around
+with us these days; he would be so much fun.
+
+We are going to Jumièges to-morrow, Uncle says. Lee says he must take
+the early train for Havre. He's just been in to say good-by. He brought
+a cherry-tart and his shoe-horn, and we had ours, and so we had no
+trouble at all in eating it.
+
+It has raised my spirits lots, seeing Lee. It seemed so terrible for him
+to go off to Russia like that. Uncle spoke of it yesterday. He said he
+was glad to have one worry off his mind and safe in Russia. The wardrobe
+squeaked merrily.
+
+Now good-by.
+
+                                                    Love from
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+IV
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                              _Rouen._
+
+Dear Mama: Lee is gone. I do wish he could have stayed longer, but he
+thought it was risky. Uncle John was sure he smelt cigarette smoke in my
+room, and although it wasn't true at all, Edna cried and said the
+wardrobe was getting on her nerves, and Lee said he reckoned he'd take
+his button-hook and move on. We had an awful time bidding him good-by,
+for Uncle came in three times, and the second time he had lost his
+umbrella and thought it must be in our wardrobe. I never was so
+frightened in all my life; for, you know, if Uncle had been hunting for
+his umbrella and had found Lee, he wouldn't have liked it at all. Edna
+volunteered to look in the wardrobe, and I know I must have looked
+queer, for Uncle asked if I'd taken cold. You know how much I think of
+Lee, but I couldn't help being relieved when he was gone. It is such a
+responsibility to have a man in your wardrobe so much of the time. He
+said that I must try to steer Uncle toward Brittany, because he'll be
+yachting all around there. He says I must mark places in the Baedeker
+with strips of paper. He says that's a fine way to make any one go
+anywhere, and that if Edna and I will talk Italy and mark Brittany,
+Uncle is almost sure to wind up in the Isle of Jersey. Lee says he
+wishes he'd been kinder to Uncle in America, and then he'd like him
+better in Europe. He's afraid Uncle will never forgive him for taking
+him bobbing that time and dumping him off in the snow. It was too bad.
+
+We went to Jumièges to-day. Uncle found it in the guide-book, and we
+took an eleven-o'clock train. Mr. Porter and his son were late, and just
+had time to get into the rear third-class coach. Uncle was much
+distressed until we came to Yainville, where the train stopped, and they
+got out. Uncle wanted them to get in with us, and he talked so forcibly
+on the subject that the train nearly started again before Mr. Porter
+could make him understand that Yainville is where you get off for
+Jumièges.
+
+I do wish it wasn't so hard to turn Uncle's ideas another way when he's
+got them all wrong.
+
+Yainville has a red-brick depot on the edge of a pleasant, rolling
+prairie, but there is a little green omnibus to hyphenate it with
+Jumièges. We were a very tight fit inside, for of course we could only
+sit in Uncle's lap, and he didn't suggest it, so I had to hold Edna; and
+Mr. Porter and his son knew Uncle well enough not to suggest taking her.
+I thought that we should never get there; and it was so tantalizing,
+for the country became beautiful, and we could only see it in little
+triangular bits between shoulders and hats. Young Mr. Porter wanted to
+get out and walk, but Uncle said, "Young man, when you are as old as I
+am, you will know as much as I do," so he gave up the idea. I do believe
+we were cooped up for a solid hour before we finally rolled down a
+little bit of a hill into a little bit of a village, and climbed stiffly
+out into the open air.
+
+We all had to cry out with wonder and admiration then, it was really so
+wonderful. On one side were the hills, with the Seine winding off toward
+Paris; and on the other side was the wood, with the ragged ruins of the
+abbey-church walls towering up out of the loftiest foliage. Uncle
+thought we had better go and see all there was to be seen directly, so
+we walked off down the little road with a funny feeling of being partly
+present and partly past, but very well content.
+
+The story goes that one of the ancient French kings took two young
+princes of a rival house, crippled them, put them on a boat, and set
+them afloat at Paris. They drifted down the current as far as this spot,
+and here they were rescued. They founded a monastery in gratitude, and
+their tomb was in the church, which is now in ruins. Later we saw the
+stone, with their effigies, in the little museum by the gate. They were
+called "Les Deux Enervés," in reference to their mutilation. Uncle
+thought the word meant "nervous," and we heard him say to Mr. Porter,
+"Well, who wouldn't have been, under the circumstances?" The whole of
+the abbey is now the private property of a lady who lives in a nice
+house up over back beyond somewhere. She built the lodge, and also a
+little museum for relics from the ruins, and has stopped the wholesale
+carrying off of stones from the beautiful remnants of what must have
+once been a truly superb monument. I am sure I shall never in all my
+life see anything more grand or impressive than the building as it is
+to-day. It is much the same plan as the cathedral at Rouen, only that
+that has been preserved, and this has been long abandoned. It is so
+curious to think of the choir which we saw yesterday, with its chapels
+and stained glass, and then to compare it with this roofless and
+windowless one, out of the tops of the walls of which fir-trees--big
+ones--are growing. You don't know what a strange sensation it is to see
+trees growing out of the tops of ruined walls the foundations of which
+were laid by Charlemagne's relatives. Edna and I felt very solemn, and
+Uncle was quiet ever so long, and then only said, "I vow!" The grass is
+growing in the nave and transept, and the big carved pediments stick up
+through the turf here and there, with moss and lichen clinging to the
+shadowy sides. The rows of pillars are pretty even, and the set of big
+arches above are mostly all there still. There were a third and a fourth
+gallery above, and although they are fallen away in places, still you
+can see exactly how it used to be. When you look away up to the fourth
+tier of columns, the main walls of the nave are still soaring higher
+yet; and when you follow the sky-line of their vastness, you see the two
+mighty towers rising, rising, straight up toward heaven, with the rooks
+whirling and circling about them and screaming in the oddest, most
+awfully mournful manner. I'm sure I shall never feel the same way again,
+not even if I live to be a thousand years old myself. I felt overcome; I
+felt a way that I never felt before. I don't know what I felt.
+
+Uncle was delighted; he sighed with satisfaction. "This is the real
+thing," he said to Mr. Porter; "I like this. You can see that there's
+been no tampering with _this_ ruin." Mr. Porter looked up at the sky
+above and said: "I should say that there had been considerable tampering
+with this ruin. I will take my oath that the whole of the little town
+yonder was built with the stone taken from these walls and those of the
+monastery buildings."
+
+[Illustration: "There's been no tampering with _this_ ruin"]
+
+Uncle is getting very nervous over Mr. Porter, Jr., because he walks
+around with Edna so much; so we were not allowed out of his sight during
+the visit, and didn't explore half as much as we wanted to. The little
+museum was really very interesting, and had the tombstone of one of Joan
+of Arc's judges. I feel very sorry for Joan's poor judges. They had
+to do as they were bid, and have been execrated for it ever since.
+
+We came home late in the afternoon, and Mr. Porter found a telegram
+calling him to Brussels on business, so he and his son said good-by
+hurriedly and took a half-past-six train. Uncle said at dinner that it
+was a strange thing to see how, after forty-five years of seeing the
+world, a man could still be the same as when one had to do all his sums
+for him at school. We absorbed this luminous proposition in silence, and
+then Uncle looked severely at Edna and said that at the rate that things
+were progressing he wouldn't have been surprised to have had a John
+Gilpin in the family any day. We were struck dumb at this threat or
+prophecy or whatever was intended, and went meekly to bed. Edna had a
+letter from Lee and I had one from Harry. Lee didn't dare write me and
+Harry didn't dare write Edna because of Uncle. But they each sent the
+other their love.
+
+Uncle wants to go to Gisors to-morrow.
+
+P. S. I must add a line to tell you that Mrs. Braytree and the four
+girls have arrived. They saw Uncle on the stairs coming up, and all came
+straight to our room. They landed yesterday, and had a real good
+passage, only Eunice fell out of the berth and sprained her wrist. She
+has it in a sling. They had a hard time arranging about the dog, as the
+hotel didn't want him in the rooms. He is one of those dogs that look
+scratchy and whiny at the first glance. Mrs. Braytree has lost her keys,
+so she sat with us while the hotel people got a man to open her trunks.
+She says she's in no hurry to unpack, for she had so many bottles she's
+almost positive one cork at least must have come out. They entirely
+forgot to bring any hairpins and suffered dreadfully on shipboard on
+that account. They had trouble with one of their port-holes too, and
+Mrs. Braytree and Uncle are both going to carry crowbars at sea
+hereafter.
+
+They are going to stay here a week. It's so nice to meet some one from
+home!
+
+                                              Always yours lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+V
+
+UNCLE JOHN EN ROUTE
+
+
+                                                              _Rouen._
+
+"Come on, girls, this is quite an expedition. I vow I shook a little
+when Mrs. Braytree suggested coming, too. Seven women to one man would
+be too many for comfort as a general thing; but your Uncle John never
+shows the white feather, so I only drew the line at the dog. Why the
+devil five women want to travel with one dog and eight trunks I can't
+see; but if I was Mrs. Braytree, I'd probably know more about it.
+Curious little creature, the cross-eyed one, isn't she? And that
+Pauline--always wanting to be somewhere else. I told her pretty flatly
+at dinner that if she couldn't get any more fun out of Rouen than by
+wishing it was St. Augustine, she'd better have stayed in New York.
+Anything but these fault-finders.
+
+"Well, ain't you ready? I've sent the luggage along, and it seems to me
+that we ought to be following its good example. Lord knows, two days is
+enough to waste in an old hole like Rouen; I was wondering last night
+what we ever came for. I never was so cold anywhere in my life, and
+sleeping on a slope with a pillow on your feet isn't my idea of comfort
+at night, anyhow. I don't understand the moral of the scheme, and the
+pillow keeps sliding, and I keep swearing, all night long. Also, I can't
+learn to appreciate the joy of standing on a piece of oil-cloth to wash.
+I must say that one needs to wear an overcoat and ear-muffs to wash
+here, anyhow. I was dancing under the bell-rope and ringing for hot
+water a good half-hour this morning. I'm going to write and have the
+asterisk subtracted from this hotel.
+
+"Well, come on, if you're ready. Whose umbrella is that getting left by
+the door? Mine? I vow, I didn't remember putting it down. But no one can
+think of everything. Edna, is this soap yours? No? Well, I just asked. I
+seem to have left mine somewhere, and it's live and learn. Come on! come
+on!
+
+"Good morning, Mrs. Braytree--Eunice--Emma--Pauline--Augusta. I reckon
+we'd better be hustling along pretty promptly. The train doesn't go
+until five minutes after the time, if we don't hurry. It's truly a
+pleasure having you join us, Mrs. Braytree. A little excursion like this
+makes such a pleasant break in the routine of sight-seeing, I think, and
+these quaint old--there, all get out now, I have the money. I'll take
+the tickets; we're all full-fare, aren't we? Or--how old is the little
+cross-eyed one? I _beg_ your pardon, Mrs. Braytree, but I had to know in
+a hurry.
+
+"There, come on! come on! Squeeze through. Se--ven women and one man.
+Hurry! we want a compartment, here--no, there. Run, Edna, and get ahead
+of that old lady; here's two umbrellas to throw crossways, and then you
+can tell her there's no room, and the law will uphold you. You look
+surprised, Mrs. Braytree, but I learned that little trick coming from
+Havre. I tell you, by the time I get to Paris I'll be on to every kind
+of game going. I learn fast--take to Europe as a duck takes to water, so
+to speak.
+
+"Well, we're off for Gisors. Great pleasure to have you with us, Mrs.
+Braytree; no more work to steer seven--Good Lord! there aren't but six
+here! Who isn't here? Edna's gone! What is it, Yvonne? I sent her ahead,
+did I? Oh, so I did, so I did. And of course she is waiting for us. Poor
+child! I hope she's not worried. As soon as we get out of the tunnel
+I'll hang out of the window and holler to her. Very convenient method
+of talking to your friends aboard, Mrs. Braytree; only I should think a
+good many would lose their heads as a consequence. However, as the
+majority of the heads would be foreigners', I don't suppose it would
+matter much in the long run.
+
+"Speaking of Gisors, Mrs. Braytree, it's really a very interesting
+place--according to the guide-book. As far as I'm personally concerned,
+I'd be willing to take the time to go there to learn how to pronounce
+it. The workings of the mind which laid out the way to speak French
+don't at all jibe with the workings of the mind which laid out the way
+to spell it--not according to my way of thinking. There's that place
+which we've just left, for instance,--'Ruin' as plain as the nose on
+your--on anybody's face,--and its own inhabitants can't see
+it--pronounce the R in a way that I should think would make their
+tongues feel furry, and then end up as if, on second thought, they
+wouldn't end at all.
+
+"Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out and see if you see any of Edna hanging
+out. I declare, this is a very trying situation to be in. You don't know
+what a trip I had, Mrs. Braytree, trying to keep track of these girls;
+and since we landed--well, I just had to call a halt in Havre and come
+off alone. Curious place, Havre, don't you think? See any one you knew
+there? We--who did you say? Why, that can't be, he's in Russia. Yvonne,
+didn't that young reprobate write you he was going to Russia? Yes, I
+thought so. Well, Mrs. Braytree says she saw him in Havre. Good joke his
+not knowing we were in Rouen; he'd have been down there in a jiffy, I'll
+bet anything. But your Uncle John is a rather tough customer to handle,
+and I expect that young man knows the fact, and so thought it best to
+give Rouen a wide berth. Not that I have anything in particular against
+young Reynolds, only I don't consider that any girl could be happy with
+him. And it's foolish to have a man around unless you can make him
+happy--I mean unless he can make you happy. My wife was very happy up to
+the time she developed melancholia--a sad disease, Mrs. Braytree.
+Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out and see if you can see anything of Edna.
+
+"I presume this is as good a time as we'll have to study up a little on
+Gisors. It seems to have been the capital of the Vexin. I shouldn't be
+surprised if 'vex' and 'vexing' both come from that country, for the
+guide-book gives it as always in hot water. The French and English were
+both up against it most of the time, and it was vexin' with a vengeance.
+It says here that the old city walls are still standing and that Henry
+II built the castle. Isn't he the one we peeked around in Rouen? Yes, I
+thought so. It says that there's very little left of the castle, though.
+I must say I'm always glad when I read that there's not much left of
+anything; it gives me a quiet, rested sort of feeling."
+
+
+                                                             _Gisors._
+
+[Illustration: "'This is as good a time as we'll have to study up on
+Gisors'"]
+
+"Well, here we get out. I'll swing down first. If French trains were
+American, they'd have trapezes or elevators to--get--out--by. Here, give
+me your hand, Yvonne--oh, there's Edna. Well, I vow, who has she got--if
+it isn't--Yvonne, isn't that that young man--how d'ye do, Edgar?
+Delighted to see you again. Our friend, Mrs. Braytree, and all the
+others are her daughters. Come, Edna; you come with me while I check
+this trunk. Where in thunder did you get that fellow from? How does he
+come to be in Rouen? Did you know he was in Rouen? Did you see him while
+he was there? I declare, I never will travel with any women again
+unless I am married to them. This is awful. Don't you know I'm
+responsible for you two girls? And I send you ahead to get a
+compartment, and you find Edgar--it makes me want to swear. Say, was
+there any one else with you? Worse and worse. I was afraid there was
+something wrong when we kept hanging out and you never hung out at all.
+Well, we'll have to go back and gather them all up. Yes, I'll be polite
+to him; but, Edna, I hope you understand distinctly that a man like that
+could never make any woman--
+
+"Yes, Mrs. Braytree, here we are again; and now we'll all proceed over
+Gisors. Pretty place, don't you think? Picturesque. Did you ever see so
+many canals--or smell so many?--and the little cottages out of another
+century? Packed roofs--green trees--well-sweeps--I like this; I'm glad I
+had the sense to come here. Edgar, will you oblige me by carrying that
+cane so that child doesn't come within an ace of catching her mouth on
+it every other second? I declare, Mrs. Braytree, I wish we hadn't run on
+to that young man. Of course he's a nice fellow and all that, but young
+men are a great trial when you have two--
+
+"Let's turn down here. Most of the streets seem to be canal tow-paths. I
+vow, this _is_ pretty. I could settle down in a place like this and live
+till I died. What do you suppose the people here do to amuse
+themselves, anyhow? From the way they look at us with their mouths open
+I should imagine that we were regarded in the light of a great event.
+And if that's the case, they must be pretty hard up for sport. Oh, well,
+I presume it's enough for them to paddle about on the green waters and
+stir up the miasma--as much sense as foreigners have.
+
+"And so these are the walls--ramparts, I mean. Well, they're fairly
+high. Wonder how high they are, anyhow? Edgar, will you do me the
+courtesy not to be pointing to the left with that cane of yours when I
+turn suddenly to the right again? I beg your pardon for seeming heated,
+Mrs. Braytree; but he really--
+
+"Let's find a gate and go in; seems to be a park inside. I should think
+there _was_ 'little left to be seen of the castle!' I don't see anything
+at all of it. Maybe they took it down and built the walls higher just to
+fool tourists. Well, I didn't come to Gisors to caper about in a park;
+let's go out and look at the church--the guide-book says the church is
+worth seeing. I think there's something very touching about guide-book
+enthusiasm: it keeps up so consistently right through to the end. I feel
+as if my own enthusiasm was most run through now. I don't know how Paris
+will affect me. Edgar, if I trip on that cane you'll have to pay my
+doctor's bill. What makes you handle it as you do, anyway? I like to see
+a cane light and alert--not one that drags through the world in the
+style of yours. To judge from your cane, I should say you hadn't been in
+bed before three for a month. I have to speak sharply to that fellow,
+Mrs. Braytree; he is about as wooden-headed as they make. Came across
+the ocean with us, and pestered the life out of me. You don't know what
+an ocean voyage is with two attractive girls--I _beg_ your pardon; I
+forgot your four. Dear me! we were speaking of--yes--of Gisors, of
+course. I vow, I'm disappointed in it as a whole. I wish we'd gone to
+Les Andelys instead. Les Andelys is marked with an asterisk in the
+guide-book, and there's a castle there built by Coeur-de-Lion. By the
+way, Mrs. Braytree, the Coeur-de-Lion _itself_ is buried in Rouen. Did
+you know that? Nice joke, eh? But, dear, dear, if there's no castle here
+when we get here, perhaps there'd be none there when we got there. I'm
+beginning to look upon Europe as a confidence-game; I--
+
+"Well is _that_ the castle! Great Scott! but it must have been big. It's
+big yet, and the book said there was very little left to see. I'm
+beginning to lose faith in that book. Picturesque idea, having the park
+hide the ruins till you come right smash on to them. Clever people, the
+French; make everything put the best foot foremost. Fine old round
+tower; nice tumble-down guard-chamber! I like this. Let's go around the
+other side. Great place, eh? Worth a trip to see. Edgar, let me have
+your cane to point with. There, do you see that old staircase? Looks
+Roman to me; what do you think? I tell you, a man could write an
+historical novel out of old ruins if he prowled long enough. Come on
+now; let's meander on down town and look at the church. As soon as I
+look at anything, I'm always ready to look at something else. Let's go
+out on this side and go back to town the other way. Then we'll look at
+the church, and then we'll put you and Edgar on the train for Rouen,
+Mrs. Braytree. What did you say, Yvonne? He isn't going to Rouen? Where
+is he going? To Paris with us! Well, well, well! all I can say is, I do
+admire his nerve. I never in all my life went where I wasn't asked, and
+took a cane. Now don't you see why no woman could be happy with a man
+like that? I never saw the beat. I tell you frankly, Yvonne, I don't
+like his ways and I don't like him. If you girls had let him alone on
+the boat, he'd have let us alone here. I declare, my day is just about
+spoiled. Your mother has trusted you girls to me, and I haven't drawn a
+quiet breath since. I did take a little comfort there in Rouen; but if
+I'd known that Lee was in Havre, I'd have been on thorns even there.
+
+"Well, where is the church? Ask some one. What did she say? Down here?
+Down we go, then. Ah, I suppose that's it under the sidewalk. Nice
+commanding situation for a church, to grade a street by its tower! Why
+don't they put in the guide-book, 'Street commands a fine view of the
+roof?' There isn't time to go inside unless Mrs. Braytree wants to miss
+her train, and we don't want her to do that.
+
+"This is the street to the _gare_, and we'll run right along. I expect
+we can get something to eat there, and get that 1:30 train for Beauvais.
+There isn't anything in Beauvais that would interest you, Mrs. Braytree;
+but there's a church there that I want to see. The guide-book says that
+Mr. Ruskin says that the roof has got a clear vertical fall that not
+many rocks in the Alps can equal; I don't just know what a clear
+vertical fall may be, but if there's a church anywhere near as high as
+an Alp, I don't want to miss seeing it.
+
+"There's the clock. You just have time to get aboard comfortably. Don't
+you want to go with them, Edgar? Well, I thought maybe you might.
+Good-by, good-by; delighted to have met you. Good-by. Oh, yes, of
+course. In Paris.
+
+"There, they're gone, darn 'em! Now let's get some lunch. Did you ever
+see such a collection as those girls? It must have been a bitter pill
+when, after managing to assimilate the looks of the three oldest, the
+little one appeared with her eyes laid out bias. Come in here; we can
+get something to eat here, I don't care what; but I want plenty. Don't
+lose your cane, Edgar; life wouldn't be life to you without it, I
+expect. I like these country hotel entrances, through a carriage-house
+and a duck-yard, fall over a cat, and come in. Tell her we want dinner
+for four, and prompt. You put that in good forcible French for me,
+Edgar, and I'll be grateful to you till I die. Let's sit down. Let's
+eat."
+
+
+                                                           _Beauvais._
+
+"Now, young people, I call this making a day count. This is my idea of
+getting about. Breakfast in Rouen, lunch in Gisors, Beauvais for a
+sandwich, and we'll dine in Paris.
+
+"What time is it? Three o'clock. Well, we want to head straight for that
+cathedral. Seems as if it ought to show most anywhere over a little, low
+town like this, but I don't see it. Ask someone--ask any one. Well, what
+did they say? Right across the square. Whose statue is that in the
+middle? Joan of Arc? Jeanne Hachette? Who was Jeanne Hachette? Girl who
+captured flag from Charles the Bold, eh? Is that why they called him
+'the Bold'? Sort of sarcastic on his letting a girl carry off his flag,
+I should consider. Well, when did she live? Has she got her year under
+her? 1492. Seventy years after Joan. I shouldn't have thought she'd have
+inspired other young women in this part of the country to emulate her.
+
+[Illustration: "'Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt'"]
+
+"Do we go up here? Ugh, how I hate walking over cobble-stones! Clean; of
+course they're clean. I didn't say that I thought they were dirty. I
+said I hated to walk on 'em.
+
+"What's that chopped-off creation before us? _Not_ the cathedral?
+Well--I--vow!
+
+"Is _that_ what I--what we--
+
+[Illustration: Beauvais]
+
+"Where's the front of it? What _did_ happen to it? And what _was_ Mr.
+Ruskin thinking of when he compared it to an Alp! I don't want to fall
+off of anywhere, but I'd choose the roof of that cathedral to start from
+any day in preference to the lowest Alp they make. 'Clear vertical fall'
+eh? I wish I knew what that meant.
+
+"Well, let's go in. Where's the door? That little, unpretentious one
+looks feasible. Come on. Well, Edgar, are you coming, too, or do you
+choose to stay outside with your stick? I can't help it, Edna; I feel
+irritated at his being here at all, and then I'm naturally disappointed
+over this church. I must say the biggest thing about it is that blank
+wall stopping up where they left off. This is the kind of thing I've
+come several thousand miles to look at, is it? Well, may as well go in,
+I suppose.
+
+"So this is in the inside! Fine lot of carpets hung up to try and cover
+the deficiencies, eh?--High roof,--funny sort of shock you get whenever
+you look towards the front. Sort of like turning around and hitting your
+cane, eh, Edgar? Girls, this cathedral was begun in 1180, time of Henry
+II, and they quit in 1555 while Bloody Mary was abroad and never got to
+the front end in the four hundred years. Well, well! dear, dear!
+
+[Illustration: "'What's that chopped-off creation before us?'"]
+
+"Come on, girls, we may as well go out; I feel like going to the station
+and heading for Paris. I suppose that's the next move in the game. You
+can stay here as long as you like, Edgar; we won't hurry you.
+
+"Come, Yvonne, you walk with me. Did you ever see anything like that
+young man's gall? Your friend Lee couldn't make any points around him.
+Just hooks right on to us, and stays hooked. I declare, if I carried a
+cane I bet I'd give him one punch he'd remember long after. I'd
+sincerely beg his pardon. I didn't like him on the steamer; I've got no
+use for young men of his stamp. I--"
+
+
+                                                _Gare du Nord, Paris._
+
+"So this is Paris! Now, Edgar, I have one favor to ask of you--will you
+kindly allow me to manage my own affairs while you manage yours? I know
+just what to do, and I'll take Yvonne with me to do it. You can take
+Edna up to the hotel. Looked disappointed, didn't he? Counting on
+endearing himself to me forever by his able-bodied assistance, I'll
+wager; but I don't want any young man minding my business. Tell that
+blue blouse to take these checks and look up five trunks in a hurry.
+What did he say? We haven't got to overhaul them again here, have we?
+Well, I am--I certainly just _am_. Have we got to hunt 'em up? Where?
+Well, ask him? Round back of this crazy mob? Well, tell him to go first.
+What's this system of wildly speculating wheat-pits? Baggage-counters,
+eh? And will you look at the baggage! Talk about your 'clear vertical
+falls!' Those trunks on top will soon know more than Ruskin ever did.
+
+"Where's our man gone? Yvonne, do you know where that fellow went to?
+Well, ask some one. Look out--that baggage truck will be Juggernauting
+right over you before you know it. Now, where _is_ the porter? I call
+this a pretty state of affairs--porter, valises, and trunk-checks all
+gone together. I thought you were watching him or I would have done so.
+Do you suppose we ought to speak to a policeman? I think we ought to.
+But will you look at the trunk-unlocking that's going on--good as a
+play--look how mad that old lady is; hear her give it to him in good
+English. Guess something got broke in transit. Keep a sharp eye out for
+that porter, Yvonne. Here come some more trunks, and more, and more yet.
+I wonder if this is regular, or if we've struck a rush. Where _is_ that
+porter? I think we ought to be speaking to a policeman, don't you?
+Here's a choice new invoice of a couple of thousand more trunks; that
+fellow will never be able to find ours, I know. Supposing he has found
+them and gone off with them already. Hey, look at that lady jumping up
+and down! She sees _her_ trunk, I'll bet a dollar. Well, I'd jump up and
+down if I could see mine. Yvonne, I really think we ought to speak to a
+policeman. Could you give a description of the man? I only remember that
+he wore a blue blouse. Oh, yes; and he had 'Commissionaire' across
+the front of his cap. Hello, here are nine trucks all at once, just a
+few million more additions to the turmoil. I tell you, we won't get out
+of here to-night, I don't believe. I vow, I wish I'd given the checks to
+Edgar, as he suggested. I really think we ought to be calling a
+policeman. Here are fourteen trucks all loaded to the gunwales, and two
+mass-meetings and one convention of tourists all at once. Yvonne, this
+is beginning to look serious to me; I think that really we ought to
+call--
+
+[Illustration: "'Look how mad that old lady is'"]
+
+"Oh, there he is with the whole of the stuff on one truck. Good idea;
+smart chap; and he wasn't so very long either, considering."
+
+
+
+
+VI
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                              _Paris._
+
+Dearest Mama: Well we _are_ arrived! It _is_ Paris at last! But I
+thought we should surely die in transit. I don't know what Uncle would
+have said if he had known that Lee was in Rouen; he was dreadfully upset
+over Mrs. Braytree's telling him that she saw Lee in Havre. He was very
+unreasonable, and laid it up against Lee that Mrs. Braytree saw him.
+Just as if Lee could help it.
+
+We had a pretty good time coming down, only Mr. Edgar came up and came
+down with us, and of course Uncle did not like that. I think that Mr.
+Edgar came up to come down with me because we had a lovely time on the
+steamer coming over together, but Uncle hardly gave me a chance to speak
+to him. Uncle seems just instinctively to know whom Edna and I want to
+talk to, and then won't let us. But of course I'm not complaining, for
+it was lovely of him to give us this trip, and we're enjoying every
+minute.
+
+We arrived last night, and the only drawback is that Mrs. Clary isn't
+here. She left a note, and M. Sibilet's wife _is_ his mother, and has a
+place out at Neuilly, and they were invited there for three days. She
+will be back to-morrow, and she left word for us to go straight to the
+Bon Marché and look at the white suits; so we did so. We told Uncle it
+was all right for us to go alone, and he had just gotten his mail, so he
+only said "Hum!" and we went. Just as we were taking the cab, who should
+we see but Mr. Chopstone. It was so lovely to see him again, and he got
+into the cab and went with us. We went to the Bon Marché, but it wasn't
+much fun with a man, so we came out after a little, and he proposed
+taking the Subway and going to the Trocadero. Just then we met a man
+that Mr. Chopstone knew, and he had red hair and eye-glasses. Mr.
+Chopstone introduced him, and invited him to go along; but he said it
+was no use, because it was the wrong day and we couldn't get in when we
+got there. By this time we were down in the Subway, and Mr. Chopstone
+suggested that we go to the Bois, so as not to have to go back up the
+stairs again. While we were talking, the train came and went in a
+terrible hurry, and we got aboard in between. After we were off, we
+found that Mr. Chopstone wasn't on. We didn't know what to do, because,
+of course, it was he that we knew, and not the red-haired man. The
+red-haired man said he would do whatever we pleased, and Edna thought we
+had better get right off; but I thought we ought to go right on. We
+didn't know _what_ to do, and so we kept on to the Bois.
+
+The Bois was just lovely--all automobiles and babies; and who do you
+think we met? Betty Burleigh. We were so surprised, for I thought she
+was in California for her lungs; but it seems that she's been in Dresden
+for her music all winter, and now she's here for her clothes. She was
+with an elderly French lady, and I don't think that the elderly French
+lady liked to have her stop and talk to us. I thought at first that
+perhaps it wasn't proper on account of the red-haired man, but in a
+second I saw the real reason. Betty glanced around and said, "Oh,
+Madame, où est Fakir?" Whereupon the elderly French lady looked
+absolutely terrified and tore madly off. We had quite a long talk
+before she came back with the most awful little black dog, which they
+evidently had _no_ string to. She put him down and began to look
+displeased again, and Betty just glanced about and said calmly, "Oh,
+Madame, où es Fakir?" He had absolutely vanished again, and the elderly
+French lady sort of threw up her eyes and rushed wildly away. The
+red-haired man said, "Why don't you buy a chain for him?" Betty shrugged
+the Frenchiest kind of a shrug and said, "I don't have to chase him."
+The red-haired man said, "I should think she would buy the chain then!"
+and Betty shrugged a much Frenchier shrug, and said: "I wouldn't allow
+it. While she is running after him I can do as I please." The
+red-haired man laughed. Poor madame came panting up with the creature
+just then, and Betty said sweetly, "Laissez-lui courir," so she had to
+put him down; but I could see that she meant to keep a sharp eye on him.
+Betty wanted us all to come to the Palais and lunch with her; but of
+course we refused, because you wouldn't have liked it, and, anyway, we
+had to go back to Uncle. She wanted the red-haired man to stay, anyhow,
+and was quite put out when he declined. Just then two men in an
+automobile came up and asked her to go and see the balloon ascension.
+They didn't invite the elderly French lady, and she protested about
+"comme il faut"--but Betty said, "Où est Fakir?" and, if you'll believe
+me, that little beast was gone again, and poor madame dashed off in
+pursuit. Betty made short work of bidding us good-by then, and at once
+got into the automobile, and was off.
+
+[Illustration: We found our beloved relative]
+
+We came slowly along back with the red-haired man, and at the Arc de
+Triomphe we ran into Mr. Chopstone. It seems he went a station too far
+because he met some people he knew in the car behind us, and he says we
+must all go to the Châtelet with him to-night to make up. He said
+"Uncle, too," so we accepted. Then we took a cab and came back to the
+hotel, where we found our beloved relative with his feet on the
+center-table, reading the Paris "Herald." He looked over the top at us
+and announced that he'd "done the Louvre." I think we must have looked
+startled, for he went on to say at once that he knew that it was
+something that had got to be done, and that he shouldn't enjoy, and so
+he had thought it best to go at it the first thing on the first morning
+and get it off his mind at once. He was very pleased with himself,
+because he says the "Baedeker" says that it takes two hours and a half
+to walk through, and he was only gone from the hotel two hours in all.
+Edna asked him if he spent much time looking at the pictures, and he
+said: "Young lady, if you'd ever been in the place, you'd never ask that
+question. Why, the whole thing is lined with pictures. I bet I dream of
+gilt frames for a week."
+
+[Illustration: We found our beloved relative]
+
+We had to go to lunch, and Uncle doesn't like the food very much; he
+says it strikes him as "flummery," and he is really very much vexed over
+Mrs. Clary's being at Neuilly. Edna is vexed because Harry is there,
+too, and I'm very much vexed indeed because she thoughtlessly gave Uncle
+the letter at lunch, and when he read about Monsieur Sibilet's wife
+being his mother he was more put out than ever. He said we could look
+out for ourselves this afternoon, as he had to go to the bank. Edna
+suggested that we go to the Louvre, and he said yes, that would be wise,
+because then we would all be free to enjoy ourselves. Uncle speaks of
+the Louvre exactly as if it were the semiannual siege at the dentist's.
+But he was kind enough to offer to leave us there on his way to the
+bank, and when we took the cab, he arranged with the cabman and the
+hotel-porter exactly what the fare was to be, and held it in his hand
+the whole way.
+
+Edna and I were mighty glad to get to the Louvre without Uncle,
+especially with the way he feels to-day, and we were wandering along in
+a speechless sort of ecstacy when all of a sudden I heard some one
+calling my name. I whirled around, and if it wasn't Mrs. Merrilegs, in a
+state of collapse on one of the red-velvet benches. We went to her, and
+she took hold of our hands as if she'd been our long-lost mother for
+years. She looked very white and tired and almost ready to faint, and we
+sat down on each side of her in real sincere sympathy, and she held our
+hands and told us how it was. It seems that they left home the last of
+last month, and they've been all through the British Isles, Denmark,
+Holland, and Belgium, and they are going to finish Europe and be home
+the first of next month. She could hardly speak for tears. She says Mr.
+Merrilegs made out the itinerary before they sailed and that they have
+lived up to it every day except just one, when he ate some lobster
+crossing the Irish Sea, and they lost a day that night. She says they
+drive a great deal, because they can hardly walk any more, and that she
+doesn't believe that there will be a museum or palace in Europe that
+they won't be able to say that they have driven by when they go home.
+She said they had come to the Louvre to see what pictures they wanted
+for their new house, and that they never meant to take more than twenty
+minutes for the selection, and that they had been there an hour already.
+She felt badly because the itinerary had them visit Notre Dame, the
+Eiffel Tower as high as the elevator goes, and Versailles this
+afternoon. She said they wanted to try and call on the American consul,
+too, to ask about a masseur. She said Mr. Merrilegs said he thought if
+they could get hold of a good masseur and keep him right with them that
+they could manage to rub through to the end.
+
+[Illustration: "She took hold of our hands as if she'd been our
+long-lost mother for years"]
+
+Edna and I felt dreadfully sorry for her; but there did not seem to be
+anything to do except look sad, and we did that as heartily as we knew
+how until in a minute or two Mr. Merrilegs hove in sight with a funny
+little Frenchman dancing round and round him. Mr. Merrilegs looked
+almost as exhausted as his wife, and called Edna by my name and me by
+hers. His wife asked him if he had ordered the pictures, and he said:
+"No; I haven't any more time to waste here. I've given Claretie the
+paper with the sizes of the spaces marked on it, and he's to go through
+and measure till he finds a famous picture to match each space." Mrs.
+Merrilegs sort of nodded faintly and said: "But we don't want any
+martyrs in the dining-room, you know," and her husband said, "Yes, yes,
+he understands; and he says he'll find a Susanna to fit your bath, too."
+Mrs. Merrilegs stood up then with a very audible groan, and they both
+shook hands with us in a way that quite wrung our hearts. Then they
+limped away with the little Frenchman spinning gaily about them, and we
+went on alone.
+
+In the very next room we met Mr. Chopstone. He was awfully glad to see
+us, and said, with our permission, he'd join us; but as he seemed joined
+anyway, we didn't even dream of refusing. He asked if we'd told Uncle
+about the Châtelet, and then we remembered that we had forgotten. He
+said he was so glad, because he couldn't get any seats except
+_baignoirs_, and they looked queer, because no one can see you. He asked
+if we would like to go to the opera instead, and we were just discussing
+it when we turned a corner and ran right on to Betty Burleigh and the
+red-haired man. His name is Potter, and, did you ever! They looked so
+upset that it can't have been an accident, their being together. But how
+could they have arranged it? If they didn't arrange it, why did they
+look upset? Betty had on a bright green cloth dress and a violet hat,
+and the red-haired man heightened the general effect so much that we
+moved on as quickly as possible. Mr. Chopstone said very roundly: "You'd
+better fight shy of her, I think," and Edna said dryly: "Of him, too,
+don't you think?" I waited a minute, and then I said it seemed droll to
+think that if we were all English we'd be pleased to call poor Betty a
+typical American.
+
+We came home when the Louvre closed and found Uncle back with his feet
+on the center-table. He had had a big fire built, for he said it gave
+him chills to look at the nymph over his bed. He had put in a true
+Merrilegian afternoon, having been to the Palais de Justice,
+Sainte-Chapelle, Notre Dame, and driven by the Hôtel de Ville and around
+the Opera House--"completely around." He says there won't be a thing
+left for him to look at by Monday. He says if he was pressed for time
+he'd hire a cab for one whole day and lump the business; but that,
+seeing that we have the time, it really doesn't seem necessary.
+
+The mail came while we were talking, and the most unfortunate thing
+happened. To keep up the Russian idea, Lee wrote two postals and sent
+them to St. Petersburg to be mailed. Uncle saw the Russian stamps and
+knew Lee's writing, and he asked me to kindly tell him how Mrs. Braytree
+came to see a man who was in Russia in Havre. Edna said weakly that it
+must have been a joke, and Uncle shook his watch and held it to his ear
+that way he always does when he's dangerous, and said he was in no mood
+for any of Lee's jokes. He looked very severely at me and said that Lee
+was a scalawag, and that I ought to be ashamed of myself for having him
+around.
+
+Mrs. Clary will be back to-morrow, and we're very glad, for Uncle is
+awful peppery and tartary, and says "Hum!" when we least expect it. Edna
+sent Mr. Chopstone a _petit-bleu_, asking him please not to ask us to
+go anywhere to-night. Mr. Edgar sent me some violets, but I had time to
+give them to the chambermaid before Uncle came in. If I only get a
+chance, I shall ask Mrs. Clary to declare that M. Sibilet's mother _is_
+his wife, even if she knows it's a lie. It doesn't seem possible that
+Uncle could really care for Mrs. Clary; but he's so cross if she talks
+to any one else that I almost wonder if he doesn't. Edna is all tired
+out, and says she will cry if Uncle tells her again that any man isn't
+the man to make any girl happy. She says she likes men, and she thinks
+that they all make her happy. She wanted to go to the Châtelet in a
+_baignoir_, and she was wild to go to the opera in anything.
+
+We talk Italy and mark Brittany every chance we get, but Uncle says
+"Hum!" to Italy the same as he does to everything else these days. I'm
+sure I don't see what we'll do if he takes the rest of Europe as hard as
+he does this much. But of course I don't mean that we're not having a
+lovely time, and we never forget for a minute how kind he was to bring
+us.
+
+
+                                                           _Next day._
+
+Oh, it has been awful! How can I write it all!
+
+You see, Uncle has a little balcony, and the sun came out, so he did,
+too, this morning, on his little balcony. And he saw Mrs. Clary being
+brought back in an automobile by M. Sibilet and two French officers. Of
+course Harry was there, too, but that didn't mend matters any. In
+looking over, Uncle's glasses fell to the ground, and they were his
+comfortable ones with the rubber round the nose, and that part broke,
+too. Edna was taking a bath, and I had to stand the brunt of the whole.
+Uncle told me not to dare to fancy for a minute that he cared who Mrs.
+Clary went about with; but he did wish for the credit of America that
+she would steer clear of men like Sibilet. He was much put out over the
+French officers, too, and said that if he was a French officer he'd go
+and walk around Alsace until he came to his senses. While he was talking
+he knocked the water-pitcher over, and then Edna was ready to dress; so
+he went away while I sopped up the floor.
+
+Mrs. Clary came in right afterward. She has had a splendid time, and she
+says she doesn't care what relation the old lady is so long as she can
+have them for friends. She has had no end of fun since she came from
+Havre, and she says it's a shame about Uncle. She went to a beautiful
+lawn-fête at a countess's, and she says I mustn't worry over Lee and
+Uncle. She rode horseback, too, and drove with a coach, and she says
+Edna must remember that Uncle is always peculiar and doesn't mean half
+he says. She went to two dinner-parties, and no one would believe that
+she was Harry's mother. She says I ought not to be exasperated over
+anything, because nothing in the world can be so exasperating as having
+a son with a moustache when you don't look thirty-five, and that she
+doesn't let _that_ worry _her_. M. Sibilet is going to give a dinner for
+her at the Ritz, and she's going to get a lace dress all in one piece,
+and she says it was she who told Mr. Edgar that we were coming from
+Rouen, and that Betty Burleigh is considered very fast, and that it
+won't take long for her to settle Uncle. I'm sure I hope so with all my
+heart; but I don't believe he'll like the idea of the dinner-party much.
+Mrs. Clary says Mme. Sibilet's château is a perfect castle, and that one
+of the French officers in the automobile was a duke. She says we must be
+patient, and Uncle will get used to the Continent, just as all American
+men do. She says they never take to it like women, though. The other
+French officer was in the ministry once, and counts more than any duke.
+Mrs. Clary is always so sweet and comforting, and she is such a nice
+chaperon, because she always has men enough herself never to be
+spiteful.
+
+Mr. Chopstone sent Edna back a _petit-bleu_ that he had the box at the
+opera, and what should he do about it. Mrs. Clary says for us to go. She
+says she'll take care of Uncle, for she wants to straighten out her
+accounts, and she can just as well straighten him out at the same time.
+She gave me a long letter from Lee that he left with her, and she told
+Edna to go and have a nice walk with Harry, and she'd tell Uncle they
+were both asleep in their rooms. I declare, it's good to have her back.
+I feel as if a mountain was lifted off me, and on to her. She says you
+never dreamed of such fun as she's had out there at Neuilly, and that
+it's quite absurd--my worrying over little things like Lee and Uncle.
+
+She talked so much that I grew quite light-hearted, and had early dinner
+and went off to the--
+
+I'll have to write the rest to-morrow. A boy says Uncle wants to speak
+to me.
+
+
+                                                           _Next day._
+
+I do believe Lee knows better how to manage Uncle than all of us put
+together!
+
+When Uncle sent for me, I saw right off that Mrs. Clary hadn't gotten
+him anywhere near all smoothed out. He looked awfully vexed, and he
+told me he was done with Paris and he was going to clear out at once. He
+said he knew that Edna and I wanted to go to Italy, but, unfortunately,
+he couldn't see it himself in that light. Then he paused and said "Hum!"
+and I waited. After a little he said that he'd happened to run across
+two or three things lately that had rather interested him in Brittany,
+and how would I like to go there. I was almost stunned at the success of
+Lee's scheme, and I was so happy that I suddenly felt as if I wanted
+Mrs. Clary and Edna to be happy, too, and I threw my arms right around
+his neck and said: "Oh, _Uncle_, let's go off together--just you and
+me--and have a real good time together, all by ourselves. Will you?"
+
+I must have done it _very_ well, for Uncle's face smoothed out at once,
+and he told me that he'd been meaning to give me Aunt Jane's watch ever
+since she died, only that it needed a new spring, and he never could
+remember to take it to the jeweler's. His face clouded some later, and
+he shook his head and said he wished he felt more security as to Mrs.
+Clary and Edna; but then he crossed his legs the other way, and said we
+only had one life to live, and could I be ready to start by day after
+to-morrow. I said that I was sure I could, and he said "Hum!" very
+pleasantly, and I went to my own room and told Mrs. Clary. She was so
+pleased; she says I am a saint, and that it's too bad for me to miss
+the dinner. She is going to wear her pink pearls, and she says that she
+will try to telegraph Lee.
+
+I will confess that my heart sinks a little bit from time to time when I
+think of trying to bear Uncle all alone for I don't know how long; but I
+have great faith in Lee, and I know that he'll be somewhere along the
+coast, and that will be a comfort.
+
+Uncle has been out and bought a Gaelic grammar and the history of the
+Siege of La Rochelle, for he says he wants to have some intelligent
+conception of what he sees. He wants me to learn the grammar, and he
+says, where he sees to everything, he should think I could do a little
+trifle like that for him once in a while. When he put it that way, I
+thought I must try; but, oh, heavens! you ought to see that grammar!
+
+I will write again as soon as I can. Harry is going to take us all to
+the Café aux Fleurs for tea.
+
+                                                        Lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+VII
+
+
+My Dearest Mama: We are _en route_! We left Paris at the cheerful hour
+of 7 A.M. yesterday morning. No one was up, and there was another train
+at half-past nine, but Uncle said that, considering the work that lay
+before us, we had better not begin by dawdling. I do think there is a
+happy medium between rising at five and "dawdling," but of course I
+didn't tell him so.
+
+Edna sat up in bed and kissed me good-by. She and Mrs. Clary looked upon
+me as a cross between the saver of the situation, and a burnt offering
+on Uncle's altar; but they were all happy, and I didn't care--much.
+
+Uncle mapped out the route, and, as a result, we got down at Chartres
+about half-past nine. He put the baggage in _consigne_, and then looked
+about with the air of a charger who sniffs the battle afar. I stood
+beside him, feeling like Mazeppa just before they let the horse loose.
+
+The outlook from the station is not very attractive, and the first thing
+that Uncle said was that he didn't believe it was worth while stopping
+at all, and that he had a good mind to go on with the train; but just at
+that instant the train went on by itself, so we did not need to discuss
+the subject.
+
+You see there is a high ridge that runs in front of the station, and
+Chartres is on the other side. Nearly all the towns here seem to be
+quite a little ways from the railway stations. Mr. Edgar says it's
+because the railroads run after their passengers in Europe instead
+of running over them, as they do in America. Uncle says it's very
+inconvenient, anyhow, and he pulled his hat down hard and said,
+"Well, let's have a look at the cathedral, anyway."
+
+So we stormed the ridge forthwith, and spread down into the flat country
+beyond. As we descended the slope, Uncle began to be glad he had come.
+Chartres is very modest and mainly one story high, so the Cathedral
+towers aloft in a most soul-satisfying manner. Uncle said it was
+"Something like." I was ever so glad that he felt so because he said in
+Beauvais that something he had read had led him to expect that the
+cathedral there would be big enough to hold the Bartholdi Statue of
+Liberty in one of its niches, and of course he was horribly
+disappointed, as a consequence.
+
+We walked straight to the cathedral, and it was so big that Uncle
+thought we had better each take one side and meet behind, "so as to save
+time and not miss anything." I acquiesced, because I mean to keep him
+good-tempered, if keeping good-tempered myself and acquiescing will do
+so.
+
+We started "fair" in front of the middle front door, and I could hardly
+keep a straight face as we walked promptly and solemnly off in opposite
+directions. The cathedral is enormous and just covered with carving, and
+I was only part way down the side when I saw Uncle coming around the
+corner, swinging his umbrella in the briskest sort of manner. He looked
+absolutely disgusted when he saw me, and said in the most injured tone
+imaginable, "You must have been stopping to look!"
+
+He wouldn't hear to my continuing my tour of circumnavigation, so we
+went inside at once, and there I held the guide-book and read the
+explanation while he kept up a running contradiction of everything I
+read. I don't see the good of Uncle's carrying a guide-book, for he
+says they needn't suppose he doesn't know better than most of it.
+
+There is a wonderful carved marble screen around the altar, and a sacred
+statue with a yellow satin dress on; but being inside made Uncle want to
+be outside right away, so we left very quickly, and then he studied the
+Baedeker just long enough to let me notice how all the Roman noses on
+the kings and saints outside had been turned into Eskimo noses by the
+rains of centuries; and then he suddenly shut it, and said we would go
+right straight off then and there and see the famous enamels that Diane
+de Poitiers gave Henry II. He explained to me that this wasn't the
+English Henry II, but the French Henry II, and then he asked me which
+of us had the luggage-checks, and if I had noticed whether the train
+went at eleven or half-past. I must say it is like doing multiplications
+in your head to travel with Uncle, but of course I enjoy it, and the
+walk to St. Peter's Church was very pleasant, through quaint streets and
+along by little canals like those at Gisors.
+
+The church was open, and open in more ways than one, for they were
+tearing up the whole floor to put in a furnace and grave-stones and
+pick-axes were leaning up against the columns everywhere. There wasn't a
+soul to be seen, and Uncle was so happy to be able to poke about
+unconcierged for a while that I sat down and let him desecrate around
+with his cane until he came to with a start and asked me what I supposed
+we came to Chartres for, anyway. I got up at that, and we went to look
+at the enamels, which are in behind a locked balustrade and have
+curtains hung in front of them besides. We had to get a woman to unlock
+the gate and draw the curtains aside and explain which enamel was which
+Apostle; and uncle was very much put out over their being apostles at
+all. I don't know what he expected in a church, but he said he never
+thought about the church; he only thought about Diane de Poitiers. He
+says he doesn't think it was in good taste her having anything to do
+with the apostles, and then he read in the book again and found he'd
+made a mistake, and it was the king who gave them to her, and not she
+who gave them to the king, and that used him all up, and he said he
+wished that he had never come.
+
+I saw that we should have to have something to eat right off, so I said
+I was hungry and Uncle said that was just like a woman, but to come on.
+We found a small restaurant and had a very good lunch, and then Uncle
+said if I felt satisfied he would take it as a personal favor if we
+could go on to Dreux. I do wish he wouldn't put everything just that way
+when I really haven't done anything; but he looked at his watch and
+found that the time before when he had looked at it he had looked at it
+wrong and that we had barely ten minutes to make the train. As a matter
+of fact, the train was going then, but they don't go until ten minutes
+after in France, so when you miss a train you always have ten minutes
+left to make it. We took a cab, and Uncle made the man understand that
+if he hurried it would pay; so we galloped madly over the ridge and just
+got aboard in time to learn that Uncle had left his cane in the cab and
+that we'd forgotten our luggage in _consigne_.
+
+Of course the ride was rather gloomy, because there was almost no way to
+lay the blame on me; but after a while Uncle asked me if I really ever
+did see such a rank idiot as M. Sibilet, and he felt better after that.
+We reached Dreux about two o'clock, and I telegraphed back about the
+luggage while Uncle looked up a train for Argentan and set his watch by
+the railway time. He told me that the train that he had decided on left
+at 3:04 and that we could make it and see the mausoleum "easy." I never
+contradict Uncle, because it doesn't do any good and does upset him
+awfully, so I went with him to get the cab, and wondered how long a
+mausoleum usually took to examine.
+
+[Illustration: Dreux]
+
+It seems that there are no cabs in Dreux!
+
+I thought that that would end the mausoleum, but Uncle merely swept his
+eyes over the prospect and said we'd have to walk, and walk pretty
+prompt. It was 2:10, and we walked fast. The mausoleum is on top of a
+hill, and Uncle said we could catch our breath after we got to the top.
+We never spoke a word going up. I knew that I was too young to die of
+heart-disease, so I didn't care, if he didn't.
+
+It was a terrible climb, but we reached there at 2:32. It's the
+mausoleum of the Orléans family, and is modern. There is a concierge who
+takes you around, and we followed him, Uncle with his watch in his hand
+and going on like this: "2:40--tomb of the king's mother, eh? Fine old
+lady! 2:41--tomb of the Duc d'Aumale; good face, handsome decorations on
+his bosom, stained-glass windows--all made at Sévres, eh? 2:43--" etc.
+You can imagine!
+
+But what you can't imagine is the sublime and peaceful beauty of all
+those exquisite marble people sleeping there under the slanting rainbow
+sun-rays of the magnificent windows. They affected me so deeply that,
+in spite of Uncle, I could hardly keep back the tears. They didn't seem
+living and they didn't seem dead; I don't know what they were
+like--spirits made visible, perhaps. The Duchesse d'Orléans has her arm
+stretched across, so that it touches her husband, who was the eldest son
+of Louis Philippe. The king himself stands upright in the midst of them
+all, and Queen Marie Amélie kneels at his side in a beautiful pose. Two
+precious little babies are sculptured together on one tomb, and all the
+while we were going about, the place resounded with the echoes of the
+chisels that were preparing a place for the Prince Henry who was killed
+in Africa.
+
+I could have stayed there hours, wrapped up in the mystery and wonder of
+it all, but Uncle fell down some steps while he was looking at his
+watch, and we departed forthwith. He said we must walk fast, and so
+again we walked fast. Of course it was easier, though, going down-hill,
+and I said, when we were near enough not to be anxious any more, "It was
+worth seeing, wasn't it?" To which Uncle replied: "Yes, if you enjoy
+that kind of thing; but all I could think of was the idea of spending
+such a lot of money on statues and then not having any cabs at the
+depot."
+
+There was no time to get anything more to eat at the moment, so I just
+held my tongue until we were safely on the train again.
+
+We reached Argentan at 6:15 and I felt as if I'd been running Uncle,
+or, rather, running with Uncle, for a month.
+
+The next morning we were called at seven, and I really thought that I
+could not get up at first; but, I made it at the third try, and Uncle
+and I were out "seeing Argentan" at eight. At half-past he declared that
+there was really nothing to see, so we went to the _gare_, and he bought
+a Paris "Herald." As we were sitting there waiting for the 8:04 train to
+Couliboeuf, in came Elfrida Sanders and her sister with bicycles. I was
+_so_ astonished, and Uncle was rather pleased, too. They are doing
+Normandy on wheels, and they have their tools and a kodak and a small
+set of toilet-things and four clean collars all tied on to them.
+Elfrida says they've had a lovely time--only broken glass once, and rain
+two days. The sister is going to write a book and call it "Two on a
+Trot." I think that's a funny name for a bicycle story. Uncle said to
+call it "Two on a Tire"; but you know how stupid Elfrida is, and so she
+said, "Oh, but it's not a tandem." They were going to Couliboeuf, too,
+but we couldn't go together because they were traveling third-class.
+Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a dollar a day,
+and Uncle said "Great Scott!"
+
+[Illustration: "Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than
+a dollar a day, and Uncle said 'Great Scott!'"]
+
+While we were on the train it began to rain and then it poured. Uncle
+became very gloomy and said that is just what we might have expected.
+I didn't expect rain, and I didn't see why I should have expected it,
+so I only nodded. Uncle didn't like my nodding, and said I shouldn't
+take such a pessimistic view of life at my age. While he was talking I
+suddenly remembered the umbrella and asked him where it was, and he had
+left it in Argentan! Then there was no more conversation.
+
+[Illustration: Falaise]
+
+We had to change cars at Couliboeuf, and we reached Falaise about noon.
+Elfrida and her sister got right on to their wheels and bumped gaily
+away over the cobblestones at once. The rain was over and the sun was
+shining, but Uncle said he had lost all faith in France and wanted to
+buy another umbrella the very first thing. We went to a store, and he
+said to buy a cheap one, as I would be sure to lose it. I asked for a
+cheap one, but the woman was quite indignant and said that she did not
+keep any cheap umbrellas--that the lowest she had was two francs--forty
+cents. I had to translate it to Uncle, and he was so amused that he
+bought one for three francs and gave a franc to her baby that was tied
+in a high chair by the window.
+
+Then we took a cab to the castle and paid the man at the entrance and
+let him go. There is a lovely sloping road that follows the curve of the
+outer wall up to the summit of the hill, and we forgot how tired we were
+in thinking how pretty it was. These old castle enclosures are all so
+big. This one contains a college at one end, and then there is quite a
+wood which you must walk through before you come to the castle itself at
+the other end.
+
+The castle is wonderful. It is splendid and big and old and strong and
+Norman. It is built out of the red rock, and it has oubliettes and wells
+and pits and towers and everything of the kind that heart could wish to
+see. We saw the room where Prince Arthur was imprisoned for seven years
+and the room where William the Conqueror was born. It's a very little
+room in which to have had such a wonderful thing happen.
+
+[Illustration: "Paid the man at the entrance and let him go."]
+
+Uncle enjoyed the castle immensely; he took the deepest interest in
+every inch of it, and when the concierge showed us the window from which
+Robert the Devil first saw Arlette, he planted himself firmly inside it
+and I almost thought that he was going to stay there forever. My feet
+ached so that I was glad enough to lean up anywhere for a minute, and
+I honestly believe that it was ten before he moved. Then he gave himself
+a little shake and said: "Well to think of owning this place, and being
+able to stand in a window as high up as that one, and then to look down
+as far as that well is, and then only to need to say, 'Bring her up!'
+and to know she'd got to come! Great Scott! No wonder their son
+conquered England. I'm only surprised that he didn't wipe Europe off the
+face of the continent!" Then he shook his head for quite a little while,
+and we got under way again and went to Talbot's Tower.
+
+[Illustration: "The coming down was awful"]
+
+It's high, and Uncle wanted to climb it. I didn't mind his climbing it,
+but he wanted me to climb it, too, and some one was ringing the bell,
+so the concierge had to leave us and go back before anything was
+settled. Uncle said it was rather hard when he was doing so much to try
+and finish me up (he meant "finish me off," I think), for me to be so
+lukewarm about being finished so I started in to climb, although my
+knees felt like crumpled tissue-paper. [1]The steps were so worn that it
+was awful work and Uncle would go up as far as anyone could. He had the
+umbrella and I had the candle and often we had to step two and even
+three steps at once. When we came to the place where the steps ended,
+he stood and peeked out of a window (imagining himself Lord Talbot, I
+reckon--) and then we started back. The coming down was awful,--I was
+honestly frightened. Uncle went first and I stepped on his coat twice
+and spilt candle-grease on his hat. Uncle found it easier coming down
+than going up, and it wasn't until we reached the bottom that we
+discovered that the reason why was because he had left the umbrella
+behind and so had two hands to hold on by. I said, "Never mind, it only
+cost sixty cents"; but he was not to be comforted, and said bitterly,
+"You forget the franc that I gave her baby." I would have gone back for
+it, but I felt so hot and tired.
+
+  [1] The author begs the reader's lenient consideration as to
+      this description of Talbot's Tower. The story was written
+      from notes taken five years ago, since which time the tower
+      has undergone a thorough restoration.
+
+We came to Caen this noon, and went to bed, and I don't believe we shall
+ever get up again. Uncle said that with my kind permission he would
+suggest that I should not disturb him, and heaven knows that I have no
+desire to. I telegraphed Mrs. Clary about mail, and then I went to sleep
+and I slept until just now.
+
+I never was so near dead in all my life; but you mustn't think for a
+minute that I'm not having a lovely time, for I am, and it was so kind
+of Uncle to bring me. Now good-by, and with much love,
+
+                                                            Yours,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+VIII
+
+UNCLE JOHN PARALYZED
+
+
+"Come in! Come on! Well, don't you hear? Can't you understand any--Oh,
+it's you, child. I thought it was one of those darned waiters.
+
+"Sit down; pull up a chair by the bed. It's so long since I sent for you
+that I just about thought that you were not coming. I suppose you were
+surprised at my sending for you; but it was the only way to do. It's a
+hard thing to break to you, Yvonne; but you'd have to know in the
+course of the day, and I always do everything right off that I've not
+decided to wait and see about. Now don't look frightened, my dear;
+nobody's _dead_--it's only that I'm paralyzed!
+
+"There, what do you think of that? Yes, it's true for a fact. My legs! I
+had some premonitory symptoms yesterday going up that cursed old tower,
+and I had some very advanced ones coming down from it; and this morning,
+when I started to shave, the truth just burst in my face. Now, don't try
+to say anything, for I've read too many patent-medicine advertisements
+not to recognize paralysis when I feel it up and down the back of my own
+legs. I'm not the man not to know my own feelings, and I want to tell
+you that when I got up this morning I couldn't stand up, and then, after
+I stood up, I couldn't sit down; and if that isn't a clear case of
+having completely given out, I don't know what you would call it.
+
+"Now, my dear, the question is, what's to be done? Of course our travels
+have come to a full stop, for I shall probably never walk again. The
+curious thing is that I don't feel any particular inclination ever to
+walk again. You've no conception of the sentiments that I feel in my
+legs; but if you roll the fatigue of a lifetime into either the left or
+the right, you can get some faint inkling of the first freshness of
+paralysis. I tell you, Yvonne, it is awful. Every cobblestone I've gone
+over seems to be singing in my calves; but that's neither here nor
+there. What I want you to do is to go to the pocket of my valise get out
+the cable-code book and look out a word that means 'Both legs paralyzed.
+What shall I do with the girls?' You'll find a word that means it, if
+you look long enough. They've got forty pages of words that mean every
+fool thing on earth from 'It's a boy' to 'Impossible to lend you ten
+dollars.' I was reading it over in Paris the other day while I waited
+for my money at the bank.
+
+"Well, ain't you going to get the code-book? I don't want to be
+impatient, but I want some one to be doing something. You don't know how
+restless it makes me to think of lying still for the rest of my life.
+While I was waiting for you, I was thinking that probably I shall live
+right here in Caen till I die. I'm very glad we got here too late to see
+anything, because now I can take it bit by bit and drag it out through
+my remaining days. I shall have a wheeling-chair and a man to push me
+around, and--well, maybe it's in the little outside pocket. I know I had
+it in Paris, anyhow; I remember I was just reading that 'salsify' means
+'Your mother-in-law left by the ten o'clock train,' and that 'salsifry'
+means that she didn't, when they brought me my money, and I was free to
+go.
+
+[Illustration: "'I'm happy that it will be out of the question for me
+ever to travel again.'"]
+
+"Well, now you've got it. I thought maybe it would be in the little
+valise all the time. Seems to me the sicknesses begin with 'Salt.' I
+remember 'Saltfish' means 'have got smallpox; keep away,' and
+'Saltpetre' means 'have got a cold; come at once.' You look along there
+and find 'paralysis.' I'll just keep quiet while you're looking. I'd
+better be learning to keep quiet. Keeping quiet must be the long suit of
+the paralyzed, I should fancy. But you see what it is now to be an
+optimist. Here's my life practically over all of a sudden, and, instead
+of being blue, I'm as cheerful as a cricket. No need of fussing over the
+candle-grease on my hat now, for I shall never wear a hat again, I shall
+wear a soft felt tied over my ears with a plaid shawl as they always do
+in rolling-chairs; as for the umbrella, I'm actually glad I left it. It
+would only have been an aggravation to have seen it lying around. But
+all the same I can't see why you didn't notice it lying down there. It
+must have been in plain sight,--I remember pointing over at Mont Mirat
+with it, and saying the rock looked as if it had been dropped there from
+above. Yvonne, I tell you when I think of all we did these last two days
+I feel perfectly content to be paralyzed. I'm glad to think that I've
+got such a good excuse to stay right in bed; I'm happy that it will be
+out of the question for me ever to travel again. I feel as if I've
+traveled enough to last me forever; I actually don't want to see
+anything more. No more catching trains and climbing castles for your
+Uncle John--not in his life. You can put the Baedeker in the fire right
+now--I never want to see a red cover or a green string or an index
+again as long as I live. What's that? No, I sha'n't want it to look over
+and recall things by; I can recall more than I want to just by the way I
+feel. I don't need any guide-book to remember what I've been through
+since I left Paris. I remember too much. I remember so much that I am
+rejoiced to think that muscles over which I have no control will prevent
+my having to go out to-day and see anything else. It seems a little hard
+to think of having sight-seen so hard that you never want to see another
+sight, but I'm perfectly content. And I don't want a doctor, either;
+I've no faith in French doctors. It would be just like one to hypnotize
+me and set me going again, and I don't want to go. I want to lie right
+here, and I thank the Lord that I have money enough to allow me to lie
+here forever, if I feel like it. I was thinking this morning what a
+horrible existence a tramp must lead--always going on to new places.
+Thank Heaven, I can just settle down in this old one and stay on
+indefinitely. I want you to go down to the office and ask what rate
+they'll make for this room by the year. I want this same room right
+along. It's the first restful spot I've struck since my trunk went smash
+into that ship. Yvonne, did you notice the way they handled those trunks
+when we landed--as if they were eggs? I tell you, the baggage system at
+home is a burning disgrace. That's one reason I like Europe so--it's
+quiet and peaceful. I heard some goats go by this morning; I'd like to
+know a hotel in America where you can listen to a goat. And then that
+wallpaper, what a tranquil pattern--a basket of sunflowers upside down
+alternately with a single palm upside up! What a contrast to the paper
+on that room I sailed from! It looked more like snakes doing physical
+culture than anything else.
+
+"Yvonne, I was thinking it all over as I lay here this morning waiting
+for you, and the truth is, we've been traveling too fast. I wanted you
+to see all there was to see, and I overlooked myself completely. Don't
+feel badly, child, because I know you never meant it; but it _is_ the
+truth, and, as a consequence, here I lie paralyzed. Yes, we've been
+traveling too fast. It's the vice of the American abroad; it's the
+terrible secret drain upon the strength of our better classes. We come
+over to rest, and if we don't do two countries a week we feel we've
+wasted our money. The idea of leaving Paris in the morning and doing
+Chartres and Dreux and getting to Argentan that night! Why, Hercules
+himself would have been used up. And then that castle at Falaise. But
+I'm not sorry that I went to Falaise. No, I'm not sorry. Yvonne, there
+was something about that castle that I'll never get over. I tell you
+those were the days to live in! I was thinking about it while I was
+waiting for you this morning. Will you consider what it must have been
+to put on a suit that you couldn't be punched through, and then get out
+with an ax that faced two ways and have full freedom to hack at people
+you hated. I tell you, child, I should have been one of those who
+barricaded themselves behind the dead bodies they had killed and kept
+right on firing over the top. And to-day my armor would be hanging up
+somewhere all full of dents and rusty blood-stains, and I'd be a sight
+in some cathedral with your Aunt Jane wearing a funnel and an accordion
+beside me. We'd both be in marble, of course, some worn by time and some
+chipped by tourists--ah, well!
+
+"Can't you find anything suitable in that code-book? Here, I've been
+waiting a quarter of an hour for you to hunt--hand me the book. I
+remember 'Shell' is 'have broken my left leg,' and 'Shell-fish' is 'have
+broken my right leg,' and 'Shawl' is--wait a bit--keep still, Yvonne; no
+one in the wide world can study a code and listen at the--
+
+"Oh, well, I'll leave it till to-night. Not that I'm irritated at your
+interruption, for I never let anything ruffle me, and when you write
+home the first thing I want you to tell your mother is that being
+paralyzed has not changed me one particle. Same even disposition, same
+calm outlook on life, same disinclination to ever bother anyone. I want
+you to make them understand in particular how cheerful I am. Some men
+would turn cynical at waking up paralyzed, but not me. I feel as if I
+might get about quite a little in Caen, maybe even get to Falaise again
+some time; but you can bank on one thing, and that is that if I ever go
+back to Falaise I won't go up that tower again. I was wondering this
+morning as I lay here waiting for you how in thunder you were holding
+that candle to spill so much grease on my hat. You can't say that you
+didn't know I was there, for every second step you took your foot hit me
+in the small of the back. You ought to have gone first, anyhow. I know
+the rule is for a man to go first going down a staircase, but I don't
+call that business we were on any staircase; it was more like a series
+of cascades with us forming the merry, leaping, part. I tell you what,
+Yvonne, the next time it's up to your Uncle John to play the chamois
+that springs from crag to crag over an old middle-aged staircase while
+his niece pours candle-grease on his hat, you can excuse me.
+
+"What I like is clean, open-to-the-day-light ruins like that old one at
+Jumièges! No peril, no anxiety--all on a level, and time to look up at
+what wasn't. I tell you, I wouldn't have missed seeing Jumièges for
+anything. I was thinking this morning as I lay here waiting for you that
+I have a good mind to write a book about my travels, and that when I do
+I shall have the frontispiece, me in front of Jumièges. I could take an
+artist down there on purpose, and while he wasn't doing me, I could look
+it all over again. Maybe I could go there alone with a kodak and get a
+satisfactory frontispiece, only those rocks were so thick that most
+people would think it was a defective plate. I shouldn't like to have
+them think that, for if I was going to have a book at all, I should have
+it in good style--gold edges, bevel-plate, and so forth, don't you know.
+I'd like to write a book about Europe, I vow. I haven't been here very
+long, but I'll swear I know ten times more than any book ever tells. It
+never said a word in Baedeker about there not being any cabs at Dreux,
+or about the condition of those steps in Talbot's Tower, and such
+things ought to be known. It's all right to make light of perils past,
+but those steps were too dark for me to ever make light of in this
+world. Up toward the top where we had to sit down and stretch for the
+next one--you remember?--I must own that I was honestly sorry I came.
+
+"Well, my child, it must be nearing noon, and I feel like taking a nap
+before dinner. Suppose you go in and write to your mother and Mrs.
+Clary. After your mother gets the cable, she'll naturally be anxious for
+details, and she won't want to wait longer than ten days to know all. I
+wish you'd ring and tell them to bring me some hot water before you go;
+tell them I want it in a pitcher. Make them understand a pitcher. They
+brought it last night in a sort of brass cylinder, and I couldn't get
+the thing open anyway--had to use it for a hot-water-bag in bed in the
+end. It worked fine for that. Never cooled off all night, in fact, I
+couldn't put my feet against it till morning.
+
+"There, now, you go on and leave me to sleep. You haven't the faintest
+idea of how used-up I feel. Don't forget to write your mother how
+cheerful I am; don't forget the hot water. I'll send for you when I want
+you. There--there--I'm all right, child, don't you worry. Just pull the
+curtains and let me sleep."
+
+
+
+
+IX
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                               _Caen._
+
+Dearest Mama: We are still there, and I'm so happy Uncle is in bed, and
+at first he thought he was paralyzed, but now he says he's only refusing
+to take chances. It's so nice having him in bed, because Lee is here,
+and Uncle makes it all right without knowing anything about it. It was
+yesterday that he thought he was paralyzed; he sent for me before I was
+awake to tell me. I was so dreadfully stiff and lame that I thought at
+first that I could not get up; but of course I did, and went to him as
+soon as I could. He told me that he was paralyzed, really paralyzed; but
+I wasn't frightened, because, when he explained his feelings, I knew
+every one of them, and of course I knew that I wasn't paralyzed. Only
+when he rolled around upon his pillows and said he certainly would end
+his days right here in Caen, I couldn't help wishing that he had left me
+to enjoy my pillows, also.
+
+But he wanted to talk, so I listened for ever so long; and then he
+wanted to sleep, so I came away to write you, and there was a note from
+Lee in my room. He was down-stairs waiting, and I went right down, and
+my, but it was good to see him! I didn't kiss him, because it was a
+hotel parlor, even if we don't know any one in Caen; but I told him
+about Uncle, and he said it was fine and that he hoped he would be in
+bed a week, but no such luck. The yacht has broken a thumb-screw, or
+whatever it is on a yacht, and they have all come here to meet some
+automobile people. Lee looks real well; he says he's had no end of fun
+lately, and that it is a shame I can't go, too.
+
+While we were talking, Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley came in. I didn't know
+that she was in Europe, and Lee was dreadfully put out for she sat right
+down and asked all about us. Lee explained that he was here with a yacht
+and that I was here with Uncle; but she didn't seem to believe us, and
+shook her head, and asked about Mrs. Clary. She said Mr. Chigley was
+here, too, and they have seen a monument in the cemetery here that is
+just what they want for Mr. Catherwood. She says Mr. Catherwood was so
+clear-cut and Doric in his ideas that it has been very hard to find the
+right thing. She said Mr. Chigley was out making a sketch of the
+monument then. She says Mr. Chigley is devotion itself to Mr.
+Catherwood's memory, and cabled a beautiful wreath on his wedding
+anniversary and palms tied with purple the day he died. She said she was
+very happy, and Mr. Chigley just loves to hear her tell stories about
+Mr. Catherwood by the hour. Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and I
+know she didn't like it by the way she looked at him. It was awfully
+trying to have her just then, because, of course, there's no telling how
+long Uncle will stay paralyzed. We really thought she would stay until
+lunch-time, but Lee yawned so that she went at last.
+
+[Illustration: "Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and I know she
+didn't like it by the way she looked at him."]
+
+Lee said that we ought to join them in the touring-cars and do Brittany
+that way, but he didn't like to tackle Uncle. He says Uncle is a very
+tough proposition, because he is so devilish observing, and he never
+begged my pardon for saying it, either. Of course Uncle brought me, and
+I must do as he wishes, but I do wish that he liked Lee. Lee says he
+wishes he liked him, too; he says it would be so devilish convenient
+just now, and he didn't beg my pardon that time, either.
+
+[Illustration: Caen]
+
+I ran up, and Uncle was still asleep, so I had lunch with Lee at the
+table d'hôte. Mr. Chigley and Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley sat opposite, and
+she does look so funny with her wedding-rings and engagement-rings
+alternating on the same finger. Mr. Chigley said he should call on
+Uncle, and Lee and I were frightened to death until I remembered that
+Uncle wouldn't be able to read the card or understand the waiter without
+me. After luncheon I ran up again, and Uncle was still asleep, so we
+went out to walk. We had a lovely walk, and never looked at a sight, and
+when we came back I ran up again, and Uncle was still asleep; so Lee and
+I sat down in the parlor, and we were just going to be so happy when
+Pinkie and Bunnie Clemens came in. Well, really, I hardly knew either,
+they have changed so, and Pinkie has a beard and Bunnie is over six feet
+high. They are on a bicycle tour with eight men, and they saw Elfrida
+and her sister yesterday, headed for Bayeux. Pinkie says it's been such
+bad weather they've had to tie umbrellas and waterproofs to them, too.
+He says Elfrida looks half-witted, and her sister looks like a full
+idiot. I was so glad that I had on a Paris frock. They wanted me to go
+to the theater with them, but of course I couldn't, for I couldn't be
+sure about Uncle's staying paralyzed.
+
+He slept till eight o'clock last night, and then he had dinner and went
+right to sleep again, so I could have gone to the theater after all; but
+how could I know to dare to risk it?
+
+Lee and the men from the yacht are at another hotel, so he didn't come
+very early this morning, and it was fortunate, because Uncle sent for me
+about nine to explain Mr. Chigley's card, which they poked under the
+door last night. Uncle was so curious to know what it was that he got
+out of bed and found he could walk. He said he had never felt sure that
+it was paralysis, only he wanted to be on the safe side, and he is in
+bed still, only he is so lively that I am half crazy over Lee. If Uncle
+concludes he's all right, and comes down and finds Lee, I know he isn't
+going to like it at all. Pinkie and Bunnie have gone on to Mont St.
+Michel, and the Catherwood-Chigleys took the train for Dol right after
+breakfast. Mr. Chigley was very sorry not to see Uncle, and Mrs.
+Catherwood-Chigley said she should write you all about how well and
+happy I was looking. I know that what she really means to write about
+is Lee; but you know all about him, so I don't care.
+
+Lee says if there was time he'd go to Paris and get a nurse and an
+electric-battery and have Uncle kept just comfortably paralyzed for a
+few more days, but there isn't time, and I am so worried. If Uncle loses
+any more patience with Lee, he won't have any patience left at all, and
+I'll have to go all of the rest of the trip that way. We took a walk
+this afternoon to consult, and we saw Elfrida and her sister. They have
+cut off their hair, because it bothered them so, coming down in their
+eyes, and Elfrida says she feels all the freedom of a man thrilling
+through her--you know how funny she always talks. They have seven
+calloused places on the inside of each hand from the handle-bars, and
+Elfrida says she's sure their insteps will arch forever after. They were
+coming out of St. Stephen's Church, and the only way to get rid of them
+was to say that we were just going in; so we said it, and went in.
+
+It was really very interesting, and the tomb of William the Conqueror is
+there. He built St. Stephen's, and Mathilde built La Trinité at the
+other end of the town, partly as a thank-offering for conquering England
+and partly as a penance for being cousins. There was a monastery with
+St. Stephen's and a convent with La Trinité until the Revolution changed
+everything. William's tomb is just a flat slab in front of the altar,
+but he really isn't there any more, for they have dug him up and
+scattered him over and over again. The church is tremendously big and
+plain, and every word you even whisper echoes so much that Lee and I
+thought we'd better come out where we could talk alone.
+
+When we came back to the hotel, I ran up, and the mail had come from
+Paris; so Uncle said if I'd fill his fountain-pen, he'd just spend the
+afternoon letting a few people in America know what Europe was really
+like. I'm a little bit troubled, for I'm all over being stiff and sore
+from that climbing, and yet he seems to feel almost as mean as ever. He
+has his meals in his room, for, although we're on the first floor, he
+says he cannot even think calmly of a stair-case yet. He says that
+Talbot's Tower seems to have settled in his calves, and Heaven knows
+when he'll get over it. Lee says I ought not to worry, but to make the
+most out of the situation; but I do worry, because Uncle is so
+uncertain. And I'm perfectly positive that there will be an awful scene
+when he finds out that during his paralysis I've been going all over
+with Lee.
+
+[Illustration: "He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot even
+think calmly of a stair-case yet."]
+
+Lee and I went to walk this afternoon, and we visited the old, old
+church of St. Nicolas. It said in the book that the apse still had its
+original stone roof, and Lee said it would be a good chance to learn
+what an apse was; so we set out to go there, but we forgot all about
+where we set out for, and it was five o'clock before we finally got
+back to where it was. It stands in an old cemetery, and it says in the
+book that it has been secularized; so we climbed up on gravestones till
+we could see in the windows and learn what that meant, also. The
+gravestones were all covered with lichen and so slippery that in the end
+Lee gave up and just helped me to look. We didn't learn much, though,
+for it was only full of hay.
+
+When we got back to the hotel, I ran up, and Uncle was gone! I never was
+so frightened in my life, and when I ran back and told Lee, he whistled,
+so I saw that he was upset, too. He said I'd better go to my room and
+wait, and he'd dine at his hotel to-night; so I went to my room, and
+Uncle was there, hunting all through my things for the address-book. I
+was so glad and relieved that I didn't mind a bit the way he had churned
+everything up, although you ought to see my trunk, and I kissed him and
+told him it was just splendid to see him beginning to go about again. He
+looked pleased, but he says the backs of his legs are still beyond the
+power of description, and so I proposed having dinner with him in his
+room, which we did very comfortably, and he told me that he should
+remember this trip till the day he died, without any regard for the
+grease I spilt on his hat. After dinner he was very fidgety, and I can
+see that the confinement is wearing on him; but I don't know what to
+do.
+
+More letters came by the evening mail, and Mrs. Clary is so in raptures
+over the dinner that when Uncle asked me if I had heard from her I
+thought it was wisest to say no, because I knew that if he read how
+happy M. Sibilet was making her, he surely wouldn't like it at all.
+
+Lee sent me a note by a messenger about eleven o'clock, with
+instructions in French on the outside about their delivering it to me
+when I was _not_ with Uncle. They delivered it all right, and I read it.
+He just said that the automobiles had come, and that he was going to
+cast his die clean over the Rubicon to-morrow morning at eleven. That
+means that he is going, of course, and that I am to be left here all
+alone. I do feel very badly over it, for Uncle will be almost sure to
+find out about Lee whenever he can get downstairs again, and then I'm
+sure I don't know what will happen. Of course I've not done anything
+that I shouldn't have done; but, dear me! doing right doesn't help if
+Uncle chooses to decide that it is wrong. And if he can't walk, to let
+us go on traveling, he's going to keep getting more and more difficult
+to get along with. I don't like to tell Lee how troubled I am, because
+if Lee gets worked up and decides to take a hand in while I'm traveling
+with Uncle, I might as well be Mr. Pickwick when he rushed between just
+in time to get the tongs on one side and the shovel on the other. I
+don't want Lee trying to defend me from Uncle, because I know Uncle
+would never forgive him for thinking I needed defending. You know
+yourself just how Uncle is, and now that his legs are so stiff he is
+more that way than ever. Lee doesn't understand, and I can't make him
+understand, and perhaps it's just as well that he should go on
+to-morrow. Maybe Uncle will be better in a few days, so that we can
+visit Bayeux. He's crazy to go to Bayeux and see the tapestry, and it
+isn't so very far. But what shall we do if we come to any town again
+where there are no cabs! It would be awful.
+
+However, I shall not worry, for it's no use. Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley
+wrote me her address on one of her cards, and Lee took it and sent it
+to me with some beautiful flowers. He thought it was such a clever, safe
+idea; but just suppose we meet them again! If I didn't think Lee was
+just right, I'd think he had almost too many clever ideas; and, anyhow,
+I know that I'm sure that he has too many while I'm traveling with
+Uncle.
+
+Now, good-night, it's so very late. Don't ever feel troubled over me,
+for I'm having a splendid time, and it was so kind of Uncle to bring us.
+
+                                                 Your own loving
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+X
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                               _Vire._
+
+Dear Mama: I am the happiest thing in the whole wide world, and Lee is
+the grandest fellow! I must write you everything, and you will see.
+
+The morning after I last wrote, Uncle had me waked up at seven and wrote
+on a scrap of paper, "We leave for Bayeux at 8.30." I was just about
+sick, for I knew he wasn't able to, and then, besides, if we left so
+early, I surely shouldn't see Lee again. But I got up and dressed, of
+course, and I was beside myself to find some way of sending Lee a scrap
+of a good-by before we took a cab for the _gare_. Uncle was in high
+spirits over getting out again, and all went well until it came the
+minute to get him on to the train. Well, I do believe he was scared
+himself. Getting on to a French train is almost like going up a ladder
+that slopes the wrong way, I always think, and it took two
+commissionaires to hoist Uncle into the coupé. He was awfully worried
+over it, I could see, for he talked about what an outrageous idiot Mr.
+Chopstone was all the way to Bayeux. We had to get out there, of course,
+and I was beside myself to know how to manage. In the end Uncle came
+down so suddenly that he nearly crushed me and a meek, good-hearted
+little Frenchman who had kindly offered to help assist.
+
+[Illustration: Bayeux]
+
+The _gare_ at Bayeux is quite a walk from the part of the town where
+the sights are and there wasn't a cab or a thing on wheels. I didn't
+dare look at Uncle, for there is no train back till four in the
+afternoon. He seemed a bit staggered at first, and then he said well, it
+was level, and we'd go leisurely along and enjoy the fresh, pure, sweet
+air of the country. So we walked along, but I could see he wasn't
+enjoying it a bit, and it took us a half-hour to get to where we were
+going. We went to the cathedral first, and Uncle sat right down and said
+he wanted time enough to enjoy the ground-work of the vaulting and that
+I could just leave him and go around alone. It was my first chance to
+look at anything as slow as I liked, and I really did enjoy myself very
+much.
+
+It's a really wonderful old cathedral, and I found a nice old sacristan
+behind the altar, and he took me underneath into the crypt, and the
+crypt is the original church where Harold took the oath. It was slowly
+buried by the dirt of centuries, and when they started to put a furnace
+in a few years ago, they found it and dug it out again. It isn't very
+large, and the walls are of stone several feet thick, with little bits
+of arched windows set up too high to see from.
+
+When I came back we went to see the tapestry in the museum, and it isn't
+really tapestry at all: it's a long, long strip of linen about a foot
+wide, with scenes embroidered on it in Kensington, and over and over.
+It's really very well done, and it isn't a bit badly worn out--only a
+few little holes here and there. The scenes are very interesting, and
+some of them are awfully funny. The way they hauled the horses over the
+sides of the boats when they landed in England, for example. The Saxons
+have beards, and the Normans are shaven. I couldn't help thinking how
+funny it was that the Normans, who were regarded as barbarians by the
+French, were looked upon as tremendously effete by the English. Uncle
+took a deal of pleasure studying the whole thing, and we were there till
+it was time for lunch. We had a nice lunch at a clean little place, and
+then came the rub. There was nothing to do till train-time, and that
+terrible walk to the _gare_. I had brought a book along, so I could
+read aloud, but Uncle said only a woman would come to Bayeux and read a
+novel, and that I reminded him of Aunt Jane. You know how terrible it is
+when any one reminds him of Aunt Jane; so I closed the book at once, and
+said I'd do anything he liked. He said that that was more like Aunt Jane
+than ever, to just sit back and throw the whole burden on to him; and
+then he shook his watch and held it to his ear and said "Hum!" too, one
+right after the other. I was almost beside myself to know what to do or
+what to suggest, and just then something came puffing up behind us and
+stopped right at our side. It was a big automobile, with three men in
+it, and one jerked off his mask and jumped out over the wheel and
+grabbed Uncle by the hand. And it was Lee!
+
+[Illustration: "And it was Lee."]
+
+You never saw anything like Uncle's face! He seemed reparalyzed for a
+few seconds, and Lee kept shaking his hand and telling him how glad he
+was to see him, and how he _must_ get right into the automobile and go
+on with them to Caen. My heart just about stopped beating, I was so
+anxious, but Lee never stopped shaking, and the other men took off their
+masks and got out, too, and told Uncle he really must do them the honor
+and give them the pleasure, and in the end we got him in, and Lee won
+out.
+
+Oh, it was such fun! We had the most glorious trip back to Caen. They
+had an extra mask along, and Uncle wore it and sat on the front seat,
+and Mr. Peters, the man who owns the automobile, was really lovely to
+him. The other man and Lee and I sat behind, and the other man is Mr.
+Peters's mother's son by her second husband. His name is Archie Stowell,
+and I should judge that Mr. Peters's mother's second husband was a lot
+livelier than the first, but not so clever. Mr. Peters is really awfully
+clever, and the way he talked to Uncle was wonderful. Uncle said it was
+a very smooth-riding automobile, and Mr. Peters said it did him good all
+through to meet some one who recognized the good points of a good
+machine at once; he said not one man in a thousand had brains enough to
+know a good machine when he was in it, and that he was overjoyed to
+have accidentally met the one man who did discriminate. And Uncle said
+he should judge that automobiling was a very easy way of getting over
+the ground when one was traveling in Europe, and Mr. Peters said it was
+perfectly bewildering how the breadth and scope of Uncle's mind could
+instantaneously seize and weigh every side of an intricate proposition
+and as instantaneously solve it completely. By the time we reached Caen
+Uncle was so saturated with Mr. Peters that he even smiled on Lee as we
+got out and asked them all three to dine with us at eight. They
+accepted, and went to their hotel to dress, and Uncle went to his room
+without one word of any kind to me.
+
+They came, and we had a very nice dinner in a little separate room, and
+the way Mr. Peters talked to Uncle was worth listening to surely. And
+when Uncle was talking, he leaned forward and paid attention as if his
+life depended on every word. By ten o'clock Uncle was happier than I
+have almost ever seen him, and Mr. Peters said it was no use, we just
+simply must join their party and go on in the automobile. Lee began to
+laugh when he said that, and said: "Now, Peters, you'll learn the
+sensation of getting turned down cold." It was an awful second for me,
+because I just felt Uncle's terrible battle between not wanting to go on
+with Lee and wanting to contradict him; but in the end the wanting to
+contradict overpowered everything else, and he said: "Young man, when
+you are as old as I am you'll be less ready to speak for other people
+than you seem disposed to do now."
+
+[Illustration: "We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along
+for dear life"]
+
+And then he accepted Mr. Peters's invitation! So will you only please to
+think of it--we are touring with Lee, and to-day we came up through the
+lovely valley of the Vire to this little town of the same name. It is
+all too nice for words; Uncle sits on the front seat all the time, and
+when he gives Mr. Peters advice, Mr. Peters always thanks him and says
+that he never met any one before with sense enough to have figured that
+out.
+
+We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along for dear life.
+They didn't know us, and they are getting to look so awful that I
+thought it was just as well. Uncle says he thinks they are seeing Europe
+for thirty cents a day now.
+
+It is raining, and I must go to bed.
+
+                                                  Your very happy,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+XI
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                               _Vire._
+
+Dearest Mama: We are still here in Vire, and we cannot go on for it is
+raining awfully. It rained all yesterday, and we had _more_ fun. About
+ten in the morning an automobile arrived with a lady Lee knows named
+Mrs. Brewer and three men, and about twelve another automobile arrived
+with Clara and Emily Kingsley and their aunt Clara Emily and Ellsworth
+Grimm and Jim Freeman and a chauffeur, and about half-past one a
+runabout automobile came in with the two Tripps. We are like a big
+house-party, and Mr. Peters plays poker with Uncle every minute, so we
+can all have no end of a good time.
+
+I must explain to you about Mr. Peters, because Lee explained to me. I
+was so troubled over Mr. Peters being so devoted to Uncle and never
+winning a single jack-pot once himself that Lee told me all about how it
+is. It seems that Mr. Peters's mother was married to Mr. Peters's father
+for quite a while before he died and that Mr. Peters's father wasn't
+very well off and was very hard to live pleasantly with on account of
+Mr. Stowell's father, who lived next door and was very well off and very
+easy for Mr. Peters's mother to get along with always; Mr. Peters's
+father died when Mr. Peters was about twelve years old, and just as soon
+as it was perfectly ladylike, Mr. Peters's mother married Mr. Stowell's
+father and went next door to live and had Mr. Stowell. Lee says Mr.
+Stowell's father never liked Mr. Peters much because he reminded him of
+all those years that Mr. Peters's and Mr. Stowell's mother lived next
+door instead of living with him; but Lee says Mr. Peters is very clever,
+and he saw how much his father lost from not being easy to get along
+with, and so he made up his mind to be easy to get along with himself.
+He gets along so well with Mr. Stowell that they travel together all the
+time, and Lee says he told him that if he could get along well with
+Uncle he'd make it well worth his while; so he's getting along
+beautifully with Uncle, and Lee is making it ever so well worth his
+while.
+
+Clara Kingsley has fallen in love with one of the men who came with Mrs.
+Brewer--the tall, dark one, who does not talk much and reads German in
+his room most of his time. There are so many that I get names mixed, but
+Emily Kingsley is the same as ever, and _such_ a joy to meet again. She
+says she doesn't fall in love the way Clara does; she only gets badly
+spattered. The two Tripps are both devoted to Emily, and I think they
+are all sort of keeping along together. Miss Clara Emily asked after
+every one in our family, even Aunt Jane. Of course I told her that Aunt
+Jane had been dead two years, and you ought to have seen her jump and
+look at Uncle. She asked me if Uncle lived alone in the house, and she
+looked so reflective that I felt quite uncomfortable. I told Lee about
+it, but he says Uncle must take his chances the same as the rest of the
+world when it comes to Miss Clara Emily. I wish Lee wouldn't make light
+of anything so serious as the way Miss Clara Emily looked reflective.
+You know you wouldn't like her having all Aunt Jane's lace, and I'm sure
+that after Uncle was completely married to her, he wouldn't like it at
+all, either. I don't know what Mrs. Brewer is, but the men that came in
+the automobile with her are just devoted to her, and she makes every one
+have a good time. We played cards and Consequences all the afternoon,
+and Mrs. Brewer told our fortunes from tea-leaves in the evening. She
+told Uncle to beware of a long, pointed nose which she saw in his cup,
+and Miss Clara Emily didn't know whether to be mad or glad. She saw a
+wedding-ring in Lee's cup, and I blushed terribly and tried to cough,
+and sneezed instead; and Lee said it was an automobile tire, and meant a
+breakdown. I do think Lee is always so nice. But about eleven we all got
+a terrible shock, for the handsome man that Clara has fallen in love
+with suddenly came to the door with his German book in his hand and said
+to Mrs. Brewer, "Come to bed, Bert. I'm sleepy as the devil."
+
+You never saw anything like poor Clara! I thought that she would faint,
+for you know when Clara falls in love how it goes all through her. She
+went upstairs a little later, and, as luck would have it, she had the
+next room to the Brewers, and she says it just about killed her to hear
+him brushing his teeth, and I promised her I'd never tell, but she says
+he called her and Emily the "Yellow Kids" and laughed and laughed and
+laughed. I do think it was very horrid of him, for they can't help
+having Mr. Kingsley's ears, and I comforted Clara all I could, and told
+her that the way she puffs her hair is ever so becoming. It isn't a bit,
+but I had to be as nice as I knew how, for she was crying so that I was
+afraid Mr. Brewer would call her _Cyrano de Bergerac_, if she didn't
+stop.
+
+I had the room between Uncle and the two Tripps, and the two Tripps
+calculated their money for three solid hours, I do believe, trying to
+see whether they'd have to draw on Paris behind them or could wait for
+London ahead. The big Tripp said Mr. Peters had a hard row to hoe and
+the little Tripp said Lee had a soft snap, and then they added and
+subtracted and divided for another hour. I was almost insane when
+finally the little Tripp said: "Tell me what fifteen times nine is, and
+then I'll go to sleep," and someone across the hall hollered: "In
+Heaven's name tell him what fifteen times nine is, and then we'll _all_
+go to sleep." There was deadly stillness after that.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                               _Vire._
+
+Dearest Mama:
+
+You see, we are still here and it is still raining. Every one
+telegraphed for mail yesterday and every one got it to-day. I had your
+letters and one from Edna and one from Mrs. Clary. They are going on a
+coaching trip with the man who wasn't a duke, and Edna has bought three
+new hats. Mrs. Clary says I am an angel and that she and Edna think it
+right out of Heaven the way Lee has turned up. I had three letters from
+Mr. Edgar, and he says he is thinking of making a trip into Brittany
+and joining us. I told Lee, and Lee says he isn't thinking anything of
+the kind, not in his life. I don't really think that Mr. Edgar and Lee
+would get on very well together. I feel almost sure that they wouldn't
+like each other. Indeed, I feel quite sure.
+
+Poor Clara came to my room while I was reading letters, and she says she
+is blighted by Mr. Brewer and knows she can never get over it. She says
+she wouldn't have him know that she has the next room and can hear every
+word for anything, for she says it's perfectly awful all she's
+overhearing. She says he called Mrs. Brewer "Ladybug," and it sounded so
+sweet that she cried for fifteen minutes with the pillow around her
+head to keep them from hearing her. I'm awfully sorry about Clara,
+because she is always so sincere. Don't you remember that time that she
+was so sincere that they were afraid that she would commit suicide over
+Cleever Wiggins--and that awfully sincere time she had with young Prof.
+Cook? She says she could stand anything if she could feel that she was
+reciprocated; but she says she can't feel that Mr. Brewer reciprocates
+one bit, for he told his wife that he bet Clara would be an older maid
+than her aunt before she got through with life, and Clara says that's no
+compliment, however you work it.
+
+When we went down-stairs, Mr. Peters and Uncle were playing poker and
+Miss Clara Emily was sitting by them looking rapt. Heavens! I do hope
+it will stop raining and let us get away soon, for Uncle told me this
+noon that she was more unlike Aunt Jane than any woman that he had seen
+in years. Lee says he hopes we can get away very soon, too; he does not
+like Ellsworth Grimm. It is a pity, because Ellsworth has grown so nice,
+and with his pointed beard he is really very handsome. He has done a
+beautiful sketch of me that every one but Lee thinks is splendid, and
+I'm going to send it to you when it is finished. Uncle is very
+good-tempered, and has won over a hundred and fifty francs from Mr.
+Peters at poker. Mr. Peters says he's played poker for years without
+meeting such a rattling winner as Uncle, and Uncle believes him. The
+two Tripps want to go on, too, because they decided to wait for their
+money at London, and they are afraid they are going to run short. Mr.
+Brewer wants to go, too, because he has finished his German book. I
+think we all want to go, because two days is a long while to spend in
+Vire. Clara says if they cannot go on in the automobile, she must take a
+train, for she is getting more and more sincere the more she is hearing
+Mr. Brewer talking to his wife through the wall. Clara says he said that
+he was going to snip her nose off when they were dressing this morning,
+and she says he calls her "Puss" till Clara feels as if she should
+expire in agony. She doesn't get any sympathy from Emily, because Emily
+has another room, and Emily isn't sincere, anyhow. Emily has thrown
+over the two Tripps and taken Mr. Stowell, and thrown over Mr. Stowell
+and gone back to the big Tripp, all in just these two days. Emily asked
+me if I ever saw such a fool as Clara; she says it almost kills her to
+have such a sister and such an aunt. She asked me if I'd noticed her
+aunt looking at my Uncle, and I had to say yes. Then she said she did
+hope that it would stop raining pretty soon, for she wants to get to
+Granville and meet a man and get letters from three more.
+
+[Illustration: "Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest"]
+
+Uncle came into my room this afternoon noon and said the more he saw of
+Europe the better he liked it, and that Mr. Peters was the sort of
+friend that was worth making. He said he had decided to go on with
+them to Mont St. Michel, because they were so urgent that he couldn't
+well get out of it. He says he hopes I won't consider that he has
+changed his opinion of Lee because he hasn't, but that he will say this
+much, and that is, that the fact that a man like Mr. Peters will call
+Lee his friend proves that he must have some good in him somewhere.
+Uncle said the Kingsleys seem to be nice girls, and then he coughed, but
+I didn't say anything, so he dropped the subject. I must tell you,
+though, that Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest, and every
+one is noticing it, and Uncle seems pleased.
+
+We all played cards to-day and wrote letters and Lee told Ellsworth
+Grimm he was a blank idiot under his breath. I don't know what was the
+trouble, and Lee says it isn't any of my business, but I think we are
+all getting cross from being shut up so much in this little country
+hotel. Elfrida and her sister arrived about noon, but there wasn't any
+spare room under two francs, and so they went to the other hotel.
+Ellsworth Grimm has gone to the other hotel, too. He says it rains in
+his ceiling and he's afraid he'll get pneumonia.
+
+It's getting awful about poor Clara and Mr. Brewer, for he said
+something about her to-day that almost killed her, and that is so bad
+that she won't repeat it to me. She says Mrs. Brewer just shrieked with
+laughter over it, and told him he was the dearest, horridest thing
+alive. Clara says I cannot possibly guess the torture of being sincere
+over a married man who howls with laughter over you in the next room.
+She says she can't help hearing, and she's taken an awful cold standing
+with her ear to the wall, too. Poor Clara!
+
+Emily and the big Tripp went out and walked in the rain most all the
+afternoon, and I thought she must be very fond of him to be willing to
+get so wet; but she says all she's done here she's done to make Jim
+Freeman jealous. I was so surprised when she told me that, for Jim has
+spent the entire two days with the chauffeur under the automobile. They
+have only come out to eat and sleep, and if he is in love with Emily,
+he is certainly taking it easy.
+
+
+                                            _Vire_ (_12 M. next day_).
+
+Oh, Mama, we are so tired of this place! Clara has cried herself sick,
+and her aunt sent for the doctor. Mr. and Mrs. Brewer heard through the
+wall when he came, and heard that it was Clara, and of course they knew
+that Clara must have heard them just as well as they could hear the
+doctor, and they nearly went crazy. Mrs. Brewer came to me in a sort of
+mad despair and said Mr. Brewer was almost wild. She says she has
+mimicked Clara and Emily and their aunt over and over, and she never
+dreamed that the wall was so thin. She says Mr. Brewer talks all the
+time he dresses and undresses and says anything that comes into his
+head. They felt perfectly unable to face Clara again, and it was raining
+so hard that they couldn't go on, so they moved over to the other hotel.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (_2 P.M. same day_).
+
+It's very funny, but it seems that the little Tripp was dreadfully taken
+with Mrs. Brewer, so the two Tripps have moved over to the other hotel,
+too. Mr. Stowell and Emily want to go, too, but they are with parties,
+and cannot do as they please. The big Tripp came back for his soap, and
+said he had a fireplace and now Uncle wants to move, too.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (_4 P.M. same day_).
+
+We did move, and Lee said if we went, he was going. So he and Mr. Peters
+and Mr. Stowell have come over. So we are all here except the Kingsleys
+and Jim Freeman. I had to go back for Uncle's soap, and the little Tripp
+left his pajamas, so we went back together to get both, and poor Clara
+is delirious, screaming, "Yellow kids, yellow kids!" every minute. Every
+one thinks she is thinking of shopping in Paris, and I didn't explain;
+but while we were there, Mr. Brewer came back for their soap and heard
+Clara, and, as a result, he and his wife went on in their automobile,
+rain or no rain. They left one of their men named Scott McCarthy, and
+took Ellsworth Grimm. Ellsworth wanted to go, and Scott wanted to stay,
+so it happened very nicely.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (6 P.M. _same day_).
+
+They have just moved Clara over here. She had a fresh fit when she heard
+Mr. Brewer getting the soap, and Miss Clara Emily thought that a change
+of scene would benefit her; so they all moved over. Emily told me (I
+walked over with Emily when she went back to get their soap) that it
+really wasn't Clara at all: it was that her aunt wanted to keep close to
+my Uncle. Isn't it awful? And Uncle is so flattered, too! I do hope that
+it will stop raining to-morrow. Lee doesn't like Scott McCarthy, and it
+is a pity, for he seems to be such a nice man. It's terribly dull
+without Mrs. Brewer, she was so lively. Mr. Peters is beginning to look
+real pale, and Lee says he ought to have a monument to patience erected
+to him. Jim Freeman is worried over the automobiles; he's afraid
+something will happen to them on account of our all changing hotels.
+Wouldn't that be terrible?
+
+                                                  Lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (_8 A.M. next day_).
+
+P. S. Just a line to say that the sun has come out, and that we are
+all going on by train, except Jim Freeman and the chauffeur. Some one
+slashed all the automobile tires last night. Isn't that awful?
+
+
+
+
+XII
+
+UNCLE JOHN AND MONT-SAINT-MICHEL
+
+
+"Well, this is a great change from the automobile--eh, Peters? Of all
+the outrageous, heathenish actions, that cutting of automobile tires was
+the worst. Every man at that hotel ought to be hung up and high-strung
+and quartered--make an example of the whole outfit. I must say, though,
+that I blame Freeman a good deal myself. He says he felt anxious, and
+yet he never had that chauffeur set up to watch. Foolish, very foolish;
+but he'll pay the penalty, having to stay there and wait for the tires
+from Caen.
+
+"Lee, if you could withdraw yourself somewhat from the window, perhaps I
+could form some faint conception of what the country looks like to the
+north. If you and Yvonne want to compare maps, I should suggest that you
+sit side by side instead of holding the map so that it completely covers
+my horizon.
+
+"Well, Peters, and so here we are off for Dol. Dol seems to be the only
+way to get in or out of Brittany and it must have been so always, for in
+Matilda's tapestry she's got William and Harold on their way to Dol as a
+beginning to making things hot for the Lord of Brittany. Very
+interesting study, that tapestry, Peters. I wouldn't have--
+
+"Stowell, I beg your pardon, but those are my feet, and not valises,
+that you are going to sleep against. I didn't say anything as long as
+you took them as they lay, but now that you want my left foot slanting
+to the right, I must protest. Suppose you end yourself the other way for
+a change, anyhow.
+
+"Well, Peters, and so we are off for Mont-Saint-Michel, bless her old
+heart--or is Michel a him? I must say, I'm deeply interested in to-day's
+expedition. Wasn't some English Henry shut up on Mont-Saint-Michel and
+fed by ravens there, or something like that? Yes; I know there's some
+such legend, and now we're going to see the spot. How do we get from
+Dol to the mont? By Pontorson, eh? And then diligence the rest. Well, I
+must say it sounds like quite an undertaking; but then, if you leave the
+beaten path, you must always pay the price, and I must say I enjoy these
+little jaunts with a congenial party. Too bad the Kingsleys couldn't
+have continued with us. Nice people, the Kingsleys--very interesting
+girls. What did you say? Oh, yes, of course the aunt was interesting,
+too; but--what did you say? Nonsense, nonsense! But I will say one
+thing, Peters, and that is that it pays to travel around when it brings
+one in contact with people such as yourself and Miss Kingsley.
+
+"So this is Pontorson! Do we get down here? Is that the diligence? Do
+we get up there? Great Scott! how can we? And it looks to be about full
+already. Do you mean that we have got to climb that little ladder? I
+don't believe Yvonne can. I don't believe she ought to, even if she can.
+Can't we go to Mont-Saint-Michel some other way? Peters, I'd like to
+slay with my own hands that wretch that slashed our automobile. Will you
+think of the difference he is making in our comfort these days?
+
+"Well, Stowell, let's see you skin up there first. Looks easy, don't it,
+Peters? Lee, you go next. Now, Peters, it's your turn. And now, Yvonne,
+my child, steady, and start and keep right on to the end.
+There--there--catch her on top anywhere, Peters. Got her? Are you all
+right, child? And now for your Uncle John!
+
+"Ask him if this is a new ladder. I don't want to take any chances with
+an old ladder, you know. Well, what did he say? Ask him if people ever
+do fall or meet with any sort of accidents going up. Well, what did he
+say? Peters, this looks more serious every minute. What do they have the
+thing so high for, anyhow? I must say I don't like going up there at
+all. Ask him if he has ever known anyone to miss their footing? Well,
+tell him to keep a good grip on the ladder. Now then, one, two,--oh,
+this is--confound him! tell him to steady it--Great Scott! Landed!
+
+"And now that I am up, tell me how in all creation I'm ever to get down
+again.
+
+"Well, why don't we start? That's the worst of Europe, Peters--no push,
+no energy. Perfectly content to sit on a diligence and stagnate. Let me
+look at my watch. Eleven. Well, I'm not at all surprised. I wouldn't be
+surprised at anything that might occur in this vicinity. I tell you,
+Peters, it will be a glad day for me when I set my foot down hard on a
+New York steamer pier once more. I can't but feel--
+
+"Ah, so we are to get under way at last! Lumbering old concern--eh,
+Peters? Great contrast to the automobile--Lee, as there may be some one
+speaking English within a mile of us, I would suggest that you lower
+your voice a trifle and give the other fellow a chance. What? I don't
+catch what you say? Speaking to _me_? Who's speaking to me? _You?_ Well,
+what do you want to say to me? I'm right here to be spoken to, and from
+the outlook I should fancy that I was going to be right here for an
+indefinite length of time. Well, what is it? The Brewers! Where? Ahead
+there? How do you know? Are you sure? What do you think, Peters? Yes,
+that's them. Brewer seems to be underneath the machine. Well, what shall
+we do? Wave and holler? We can't do anything else if we want to. But
+they are going to be a good deal surprised to see us perched aloft like
+this. Yes; there's Mrs. Brewer sitting on the bank with McCarthy and
+the other man. I'd rather be the guests than the owner when it comes to
+an automobile any day.
+
+"Well, why don't you holler, Lee? That's it--make a trumpet out of your
+hands and just give it to them. Gee! but they are surprised! Holler that
+we are going to Mme. Poulard Ainé. I suppose that they're going there,
+too, anyway; no one ever goes anywhere else. Dear me! but they're happy
+to have that automobile. Lucky for them that they went on just when they
+did. There's Brewer crawling out from under. Well, I can't stay twisted
+any longer, so we'll turn our eyes once more to the future.
+
+"What's that ant-hill out at sea? It isn't the sea, though, is it? It's
+land; gray sand, I vow. And so that is Mont-Saint-Michel? Curious. Used
+to be on land, eh, and then got to be on sea? It appears to me that we
+have quite a drive before us yet. Looks to me to be three or four miles.
+What do you say, Peters? Of course I don't know, how big the mont is, so
+I have nothing to judge the distance by; but I should say three miles at
+least.
+
+"Stowell, I've heard that story you are telling ever since I was born;
+who ever told you that it was new ought to be shot. This tendency to
+tell old stories is a perfect vice with some people, Peters, and that
+brother of yours is forever doing it. I've heard him tell about calling
+the cabman a pig in France and asking him if he was engaged in Germany
+until I'm about to the end of my patience. Great Scott! how hot the sun
+is, and no matter how gaily we lumber along, the mont looks to be
+equally distant. What is this road we're on, anyway? Seems to be a
+highway in the most literal sense of the word. Dike, eh? Built on
+purpose for tourists, I suppose--the American tourists before all, I'll
+bet.
+
+"Well, so that is the mont close to. Appears to just comfortably cover
+up the whole island. Curious collection of houses and staircases topped
+off by a church. However, my main care at this moment isn't what we've
+come to see, but how in thunder we're to get down to see it. Well, the
+people line up pretty thick, and they have the additional joy of knowing
+that every last one of us is a tourist. That's one good thing about
+America, Peters, you can travel there without being a tourist. You pay a
+stiff price for very little, but that little's good, and the game ends
+with it. Europe's entirely different: what turns on the light over the
+wash-stand turns it off over the bed, and then, with all that, they mark
+light extra in the bill. There don't seem to be any legitimate hotel
+comforts here: they're all extra. I vow, I hate to take that hard-wood
+bolster out from under my head nights, for it's the one thing I get for
+nothing in every hotel.
+
+"Well, Yvonne, I think you'd better go down first. You go next,
+Stowell, and then you, Lee. You and I, Peters, will wait and take our
+time. I vow, I'm not very keen on this descent. Just hold my hat, will
+you? Here, you, down there, hold this ladder steady. Peters, I--where's
+the next step? Peters, you--where's the bottom? I vow I--
+
+"Safe at last! quaint old place--old wall with a gate in it, eh!
+Fishing-rods and oars all about; when does the tide come in? Faster than
+a horse can gallop, eh? Well, that must be sad for the horse. Anyhow, I
+didn't ask how fast it came in; I asked when it would come in next.
+Well, ask some one. An hour after we leave, eh? Interesting. But come
+on; let's go up to Mme. Poulard Ainé and eat the omelet, and then we
+can climb around some. You walk on, Yvonne, and order the luncheon, and
+Mr. Peters and I will come leisurely after. Yes, my niece is a pretty
+girl, Peters, but nothing but a child--nothing but a child. No more idea
+of worldliness than a cat has of a cactus; a great responsibility to
+travel with--a great responsibility. Between you and me, I used to
+suspect young Reynolds of paying her attention; but when he took another
+ship over, and then left Paris before we arrived, I saw my suspicions
+had been wrong. I said a thing or two about him to Yvonne, and she took
+it perfectly placidly, so then I saw that it was all off. I don't like
+to run down a friend of yours, Peters,--and I suppose he must be a
+friend of yours or you wouldn't have him along with you,--but you're old
+enough to see that he hasn't got the stuff in him to make any girl
+happy. He's too--too--well, I can't just express it, but I know that you
+understand. It takes peculiar attributes to make a woman happy. Now,
+take me for example. My wife and I were very happy; she always knew just
+what was expected of her, and she always did it. It followed naturally
+that--
+
+"And so this is the famous omelet-place. Well, in we go. Quaint--very
+quaint. Look at the chickens turning on the spit and dripping in a
+trough. My, but they look good! Mme. Poulard herself, isn't it? Good
+day, ma'am; bon jour--bon jour. Glory, what a smile, stereoscoped and
+illuminated! Makes me think of the china cat's head that we used to put
+a candle inside of when I was a kid. Do we go upstairs? Eat up there,
+eh? Quaint--very quaint. Every fellow did what he pleased to these
+walls, evidently. Well, Peters, let's sit down."
+
+"And so we now set out to climb Mont-Saint-Michel. Picturesque flight of
+steps. No, I don't mind climbing--good exercise. Curious little winding
+walk; old woman with baskets to sell. No, we don't want any; go 'way, go
+'way. Terrible nuisance such people. Here's another with yellow flowers.
+No, no, go 'way, you--and another with matches. No, no, go 'way. Well,
+that's a pretty tall flight of steps, isn't it, Peters? But I guess we
+can make it. Where's Yvonne? Ahead, eh? Well, I presume those two
+fellows can look out for her. Curious about the Brewers not turning up;
+suppose he's under the automobile yet? Wonder how Freeman is getting on
+in Vire. Let's stop and look at the view. Fine view! As I was saying,
+Peters, it was too bad the way we broke up at Vire. I really felt mean
+over leaving as we did. What did you say? Nonsense; none of that,
+Peters, none of that. But I will say one thing for her: she certainly
+was a woman of great perception--always thoughtful for others. Did you
+notice how she used to push the ash-receiver toward me? It's things
+like that that make a man comfortable. Astonishing that such a woman
+should never marry. Well, let's go on. Not more than ninety more steps
+and two flower women to get over. Peters, have you observed how many
+stairs there are in Europe? It fairly bristles with them. We go pretty
+nearly stair-free with us, and over here it's stairs from dawn till--
+
+"Great Scott, will you look at them! Oh, I never can go up there, never!
+We may as well go back. If you want to, you can go up; but I couldn't
+possibly see anything that would compensate me for those steps. I'll bet
+there are ten thousand, and like as not there are more beyond. I'm
+going back and sit with Mme. Poulard Ainé till it's time to go. You go
+on alone. Just tell him we don't want any of those oyster-shell
+pincushions first, will you? Then you go on by yourself, Peters, I've
+had enough."
+
+
+
+
+XIII
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: We are all here together again except the Brewers and the
+two Tripps and Ellsworth Grimm. It is very jolly, only I am so worried
+over Uncle and Miss Clara Emily. Even Mr. Peters cannot keep them apart.
+Lee took Mr. Peters to his room and talked to him seriously, and offered
+to make Uncle still more worth his while; but Mr. Peters has been
+agreeable so long that he doesn't do it well any more. He just looks
+silly, and Lee says if he was us he'd let Uncle go rip. But of course
+Lee isn't us, and I know that he can't be expected to know just how we
+feel. If Uncle John marries Miss Clara Emily, I know no one is going to
+like it at all.
+
+[Illustration: In Mont-Saint-Michel]
+
+We went to Mont-Saint-Michel, and every one but Uncle went up, and he
+went seven flights up--he _says_ twenty, but I don't believe that there
+are more than sixteen or seventeen in all. We were ahead, and never knew
+that he had stopped being behind, and it was so interesting on top that
+I forgot I had an uncle. There are beautiful halls and cloisters, and
+then one goes down through all sorts of horrors while the guide tells
+who lived five years in this hole and who lived twelve years under
+those steps. You get to have such a contempt for people who were in
+prison only one or two years over here--as if they ought to be ashamed
+of only having been in such a short time. There is a ghostly, ghastly
+museum in Mont-Saint-Michel where the visitors walk through an unlighted
+gallery and look in at wax victims doing different things in a very
+thoughtful manner--all but one man who walked on the sand and was
+overtaken by the tide, and _he_ looks anything but thoughtful. The best
+was the battle, which was very realistic and must have been very trying
+to the leaders; for how could they get absorbed in a fight when the tide
+would drown them if they kept on a minute too long? There was a man who
+thought he would escape, and dug a way out with his nails, taking a
+short life-time to the task; and then he found he'd dug in instead of
+out, and, after letting himself down with a rope, he came to a bottom
+all covered with skeletons. I can assure you that I was glad we were all
+together and that Lee had my arm tight, for the scenes were awful, and I
+grew so sick toward the last that when we came down at the end and found
+Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily, I nearly screamed.
+They had all come while we were above, and Emily and some men were out
+walking on the sand. Clara is somewhat better; but I think she is even
+more sincere than usual this time. In her locket she has some plaster
+from the wall that she heard through, and she says she sleeps with it
+pressed to her lips. And I _know_ that Miss Clara Emily is going to do
+everything in the world to get Uncle, for Emily says she was traveling
+just with a little hand-satchel, and now she insists on a suit-case. Oh,
+dear, I don't know what to do; and Lee is tired of the situation, and
+wants to go yachting, and I want to go with him. It would be so lovely
+off yachting with Lee; and the yacht is anchored where we can see her
+from the city walls. Lee is forever pointing to her. He says Mr. Stowell
+would let him have her for a month, any day.
+
+We passed the Brewers on our way to Mont-Saint-Michel, but they must
+have seen the Kingsleys and gone back. Mrs. Brewer told me in Vire that
+they could never meet the Kingsleys again; she said that Mr. Brewer said
+if he should meet Clara he knew he should explode. I don't think that
+Mr. Brewer has much heart or he never would have called poor Clara a
+Yellow Kid; I've known Clara ever since I was a baby, and it never
+struck me that she looked like that till she told me that Mr. Brewer
+said so.
+
+[Illustration: "Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily"]
+
+We all took the tram-ride to Rocabey yesterday, but one is so afraid
+that a wave will wash over the car and drench every one with spray that
+it isn't much fun. The tide is so funny all along this coast, because
+the coast is so level that a foot of water covers a mile or so, and when
+a wave starts to come in there's nothing to stop it at all. I don't
+think that St. Malo is very interesting, but perhaps that is just Uncle
+and Miss Clara Emily. He sends her violets, and I know it is he, for
+it couldn't be Mr. Peters or Mr. Stowell, and it wouldn't be Jim Freeman
+or Scott McCarthy. She wears them pinned on in such a funny way.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: Edna has sent me the letter about your coming over, and I
+am so relieved. Perhaps you will get here in time to save Uncle from
+Miss Clara Emily; I do hope so. Edna's things must be lovely, and I read
+her letter to Lee. He says if I'm good I will have some things of my own
+some day, and I do hope so; but Uncle is so heavy on my mind that I
+cannot realize that I shall ever have any life except trying to keep
+him from Miss Clara Emily. Mr. Peters is no good at all any more, and
+has a bad cold besides. He and Clara sit on the ramparts and gaze at the
+sea, and look as if they were two consolation prizes that the people who
+won didn't care enough about to take home with them. Lee says he never
+realized that Mr. Peters could peter out quite so completely. Lee wants
+to go yachting, and wants me to go, too, and I can't leave Uncle, and
+Uncle won't leave Miss Clara Emily. It's quite stupid here at St. Malo,
+and we want to go on; but Lee won't go on, and I'd rather stay in a
+stupid place with Lee than go anywhere without him. He's mad over the
+Kingsleys tagging along, because he likes Scott McCarthy less and less
+all the time. Scott walks on the other side of me sometimes, and Lee
+doesn't like it. I think land is getting on Lee's nerves, and he ought
+to go yachting; but life is such a tangle just now that I don't know
+what to do about anything. Miss Clara Emily is hemstitching a
+handkerchief, and I just know that it is for Uncle. Oh, dear.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: Such an awful thing almost happened! Clara had a
+nightmare, and came near choking to death on Mr. Brewer's plaster--the
+locket, you know. Uncle says only a prompt, efficient, quick-witted,
+thoroughly capable nature like Miss Clara Emily's could have saved her.
+Oh, I just know he's becoming serious, and Lee says it's just tommy-rot
+about the efficiency, because all in the world that Miss Clara Emily did
+was to jerk the locket up by the chain; and she did that in such an
+awfully quick way that poor Clara says she's cured of Mr. Brewer
+forever. She will have to eat soup through a china straw for several
+days.
+
+Uncle wants to go to Carnac and see the ruins of the Stone Age, and he
+and Miss Clara Emily are mapping out a trip. I'm sure I don't know what
+I'll do, for Scott McCarthy has bet Mr. Stowell ten dollars that Uncle
+gets "hooked" in Carnac. Lee told me, and Lee himself is provisioning
+the yacht, and says he's cock-sure that he eats some of those
+provisions aboard of her himself. Emily doesn't want to go to Carnac,
+and Jim Freeman says it isn't any automobile country, on account of the
+relics of the Stone Age being so thick in the roads.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: Why didn't you write me that Mrs. Whalen was coming
+abroad? She arrived last night on the Jersey boat, and saw Uncle and
+Miss Clara Emily on the ramparts through her marine glasses. She hunted
+us up at once, for she says that affair must stop right where it is. She
+asked if you approved of Lee, and when I told her that you did, she said
+then she had nothing to say. Lee introduced her to Mr. Peters, and she
+sent him straight to bed and had them poultice his chest and
+mustard-plaster his back, for she says his cold may run into anything. I
+took her up to Clara, and she sent out for sweet oil, and stopped the
+china straw, and set her to gargling. She says it's awful the amount she
+finds to do everywhere she goes, and she was in a train accident before
+she came to the steamer, and you ought to hear how she chopped people
+out. The shade in my room didn't work, and she put a chair on a
+wash-stand, and fixed it with a screw-driver that she carries in her
+pocket. Jim Freeman wants her to go under the automobile with him; but
+she says since she's a widow she never goes anywhere alone with one
+man. Uncle and Miss Clara Emily came in just then, and the effect was
+paralyzing. Uncle turned red, and poor Miss Clara Emily nearly sank to
+the floor. Mrs. Whalen advanced toward them as if she were a general
+leading a cavalry charge afoot, and said: "Well, so the old folks have
+been out sunning themselves!" Did you ever hear of anything more cruel?
+Miss Clara Emily looked blue with rage, and said she must go to Clara,
+and Mrs. Whalen said: "John, come with me," and took Uncle off behind
+some palms, and Lee and I went away so as not to be anywhere when he
+came out.
+
+We didn't come back until nearly six, and Lee said he supposed we'd
+find Uncle and Mr. Peters learning to play "old maid"; but when we came
+in, Uncle was reading a New York paper about a month old, and Mrs.
+Whalen had gone out with Scott McCarthy to buy Clara a hot-water bag.
+Miss Clara Emily was upstairs packing, to take Clara to a specialist
+somewhere else. Mrs. Whalen came to my room after dinner, and said I
+must rub kerosene or vaseline into my hair every night for a month. I
+don't want to, but I'm so grateful about Uncle that I'll pour a lamp
+over myself if she wants me to. Uncle came to my room a while later and
+said: "Hum!" and shook his watch, and held it to his ear. I don't think
+he liked being broken up with Miss Clara Emily, but he only said that
+he was going out on the yacht to-morrow (that's to-day), and for me to
+consider myself in Mrs. Whalen's charge for the time being.
+
+He went away early this morning with Mr. Peters and Jim Freeman and Lee,
+and Mrs. Whalen and I saw the Kingsleys off for Rennes at noon. I'm sure
+Miss Clara Emily felt dreadfully over Uncle, and Emily says she's more
+than ever ashamed of having such an aunt. Emily told me that if an
+Englishman came on this afternoon's boat from Jersey, to tell him they'd
+gone to Dol. She didn't want him in Rennes, because she knows two French
+officers in Rennes. It was not a very nice day for traveling, for there
+is such a wind they won't be able to have the windows down at all, and
+you know it's only fun when you have the windows down. Mrs. Whalen says
+she'd have the windows down anyway; she says she'd like to see the
+Frenchman that she wouldn't put a window down in his face, if she felt
+like it. I asked her where she was going next, and she said she had no
+idea, but she thought to Dol and Mont-Saint-Michel, as long as she is so
+near. She says it was a stroke of luck her happening here just in time
+to save Uncle; she's positive he was holding her hand through the marine
+glasses. She says it's good she came about Mr. Peters, too, not to speak
+of Clara.
+
+[Illustration: "Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say she's going to Dol"]
+
+It keeps blowing more, and Scott McCarthy says that they'll be out all
+night. Lee will like that, and Uncle won't, and Uncle will see that Lee
+likes it and then he won't like Lee. Oh, dear! But I mustn't mind
+anything as long as Miss Clara Emily is gone.
+
+Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say that she's going to Dol, so as to
+see the tide come in at Mont-Saint-Michel, and to measure out the ginger
+so I can make Mr. Peters the tea. I'm sure I'm glad she is going, for
+she makes me so tired and nervous, always hopping up to fix something
+with her screw-driver, and I want to wash the petroleum out of my hair
+before Lee comes back. He doesn't like the smell of petroleum at all. I
+offered to help her pack, but she doesn't pack. She wears a sort of
+night-gown for underwaist and petticoat together, and the front of her
+blouse has pockets inside for all her toilet things. She says she washes
+one garment every night, and buys a clean handkerchief each Saturday and
+Wednesday, and has a pocket for her letter of credit sewed to her
+corset. I think it is awful to be so very convenient.
+
+
+                                                              _Later._
+
+She went and never said a thing about me, for it left me all alone with
+Scott McCarthy, and I know Lee won't like that at all. The mail came,
+and I thought I'd better say I had a headache and come up here to stay
+alone till Uncle comes back. I had all your letters and Edna's. Edna is
+so happy, and everything goes so smooth for her and Harry that I'm
+almost sorry some days that I'm Uncle's favorite. Lee wants to tell
+Uncle right out and be done with it; but I want to wait for a favorable
+time, and every time that things begin to look favorable something
+unexpected happens to make him say "Hum." It is so trying. Edna says
+she's getting a lot of things twice over so that I can have half, and
+she says she thinks we ought to be coming back so as to meet you. I
+can't make her understand how helpless I am, for I can't do anything
+with Uncle unless I'm alone with him enough to make him think that I
+want to do something else. And Lee thinks it is an outrage and says he
+has rights, too. I do think that if I didn't love Lee I would be really
+glad to have the world all women, men are so difficult to get along
+with.
+
+But, you know, no matter what I say, I'm having a lovely time after all,
+and I _am_ grateful to Uncle for having brought us.
+
+                                                        Lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+P. S. It is ten o'clock, and the yacht never came in. If Uncle gets
+seasick in a storm, he'll never want to lay eyes on Lee again, and he'll
+_never_ forgive me.
+
+
+
+
+XIV
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                             _Carnac._
+
+Dear Mama: I'm just about in despair, and Lee doesn't know where I am.
+We reached Carnac last night, and Uncle is "hum-ming" like a top, so to
+speak. But I must tell you all about it.
+
+The yacht got too far out, and the new thumb-screw, or whatever it is on
+a yacht, stuck, and they blew and pitched until they pitched on to the
+Island of Jersey, where Lee and Uncle went ashore for Lee to send a
+machinist aboard. While Lee was busy, Uncle just quietly went aboard the
+Jersey boat and came back to St. Malo without saying please or thank you
+to a soul. He walked in on me and told me we were to leave for Dol the
+next day, and for Heaven's sake not to remind him of Aunt Jane by asking
+questions. I was dreadfully upset, but of course I never thought for a
+minute of reminding him of Aunt Jane, so I packed that evening and left
+a letter for Lee telling him please not to be vexed. We took an early
+train for Dol (it's always Dol in Brittany), and in Dol we changed for
+Rennes. Of course I thought that Uncle was chasing Miss Clara Emily when
+I saw the train marked Rennes, but I didn't dare say a word, for he
+never spoke but once between Dol and Rennes, and that time all he said
+was "Hum."
+
+[Illustration: A Street in Auray]
+
+We reached Rennes, and I thought we would go to a hotel; but we changed
+cars again--this time for Redon. Uncle spoke again, and asked me if I
+had the Gaelic grammar handy. I said no, and he said "Hum." Then we
+reached Redon and changed cars again for Auray. Going to Auray, Uncle
+asked me what became of Mrs. Whalen, and when I told him that she went
+to Mont-Saint-Michel, he said her husband was a lucky man to be dead.
+Then we came to Auray and changed cars for Plouharnel, and I began to
+wonder why we didn't run off the end of Brittany into the sea. We
+reached Plouharnel about four in the afternoon, and took a tram for
+Carnac at once, and when we reached Carnac Uncle said to pardon the
+personality of the statement, but that he never again would try to keep
+up with the eternal activity of a young person. I thought that that was
+pretty hard when I didn't even know where we were going, but I didn't
+say anything, and when he went to wash, I gave the waiter an extra tip
+to feed us quickly. After Uncle ate, we went out and walked around
+Carnac a very little and saw all the people in their black velvet
+hat-ribbons and short jackets; but when I said they looked picturesque,
+Uncle said that they looked like darned fools, so we came home, and now
+we are going to bed. I have written Lee, but I don't know when he will
+get it, because of course it will have to go backward through all these
+changes.
+
+[Illustration: "When he went to wash I gave the waiter an extra tip to
+feed us quickly"]
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                             _Carnac._
+
+Dearest Mama: Uncle woke up ever so much better this morning, and told
+me that he pitied any poor wretch who has ever been sicker than he was
+on "that d----d yacht." He said, too, that any one who could suppose for
+a minute that he should have any serious intentions toward such a woman
+as Miss Clara Emily would be even more of an utter idiot than Mrs.
+Whalen appeared to be. He said, too, that the ticket-agent who told him
+that Carnac was an easy place to go to, ought to be strangled by the
+first traveler who got back alive from the effects of believing him to
+be telling the truth. He said, too, that if he survived Europe and
+reached home again, he'd get in a bathtub and know when he was well off
+for one while. He said, too, that when he had once looked around the
+Stone Age he was going to head for Paris with a speed which he rather
+guessed would cause the natives to open their eyes.
+
+[Illustration: "Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast"]
+
+Then he went to his room and broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast.
+
+After breakfast we went to walk and saw more stone walls than I ever saw
+before. There isn't a wooden house or fence in the whole of Brittany, I
+believe. We walked to a tiny village called St. Columban's, and climbed
+the tower of the little church. There was a fine view, but Uncle said he
+could smell the oysters for miles around, so we came down right off and
+walked back. There was a girl who said she would drive us all over in
+the afternoon, and let us take the night train from Auray; so we
+returned to the hotel and had an early lunch, and then she came to the
+door with a shaky old thing like a carry-all and a fat little horse, and
+we started.
+
+Mama, you never saw anything like Uncle. Everything was wrong at
+first--every living thing, and the one saving grace of the situation was
+that the girl who drove couldn't speak English. But after a while we
+came to the first menhirs, and Uncle just about went into a fit. They
+are the most curious things I ever saw, for they stand in parallel rows
+miles long and every one is resting on its little end and has been
+resting on its little end for thousands of years. At the first glance
+Uncle said they were arranged so just for tourists; but he got out and
+walked around them and tried to shake one or two, and then he said he
+wouldn't have missed seeing them for the world and that he should never
+regret coming to Europe as long as he might live hereafter. He was
+perfectly lovely for a while after that, and we looked at dolmens and
+cromlechs the whole afternoon, and sometimes we thought they were
+hay-mows when we saw them far ahead and sometimes we thought they were
+houses. We only had one unfortunate time, and that was when we had to
+ferry over the Crach. The ferry was on the other side, and that upset
+Uncle right away and he asked me if my experience had ever led me to a
+ferry that was _not_ on the other side. They took nearly half an hour to
+bring it across, and Uncle said that it would be a great day for Europe
+if she ever learned what t-i-m-e spelt, and he looked at me as if I were
+Europe while he said it. They are building a bridge over the Crach, and
+as soon as we embarked on the rickety old ferry, it blew in between two
+of the piers and wedged tight, with us on it. Uncle asked me if I was
+going to have the face to tell him that we were not stuck and were not
+going to be stuck there indefinitely, and I really didn't know _what_ to
+answer. The men in the boat hollered and hauled and swore in Gaelic, and
+finally we were free for fifty feet, and then the tide blew us in
+between two other piers. Uncle said he could but feel that being stuck
+twice on the same ferry was a poor reward for a kind-hearted man who was
+trying to the best of his ability to give some species of instructive
+amusement to an innocent girl, and then he looked severely at the
+setting sun while we came loose again and progressed fifty feet more. A
+great, thick wave came then and broke over the horse and smashed us in
+so hard and fast that I was honestly scared. Uncle was too mad for
+words. He said that he would just make one remark, and that was that if
+he ever gave me a chance to beguile him away from civilization again he
+would cheerfully and contentedly and silently end his days on any ferry
+which I would choose to designate to him. It was getting cold, and I was
+so tired from yesterday that I just shut my eyes and did not speak at
+all, and when we came loose, Uncle spoke to me quite gently and was very
+nice all the rest of the way.
+
+We were too late for the train and have come back to Carnac. I feel
+about done up.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                             _Carnac._
+
+Dearest Mama: Lee and Edna and Mrs. Clary are all here. Just listen. Lee
+looks like a ghost, and it seems that no one noticed Uncle go aboard
+that Jersey boat because Uncle went aboard by a gang-plank that's
+forbidden, and he thought that he was drowned, and they dragged the dock
+and sent down divers, and finally came over to St. Malo to break the
+news to me, having telegraphed Mrs. Clary and Edna to come at once. He
+reached St. Malo only to find us gone, and they have been tracing us
+with the automobile ever since. Lee is so glad Uncle is alive that he
+keeps grabbing his hand and shaking it and shaking it, and Uncle says I
+must not mention it to Lee, for it might go to his head, but that he is
+one of the few young men who have a heart in the right place, and that
+he has always had a special fondness for him ever since he was a baby.
+Lee thinks that under the circumstances we had better tell Uncle
+to-night, and we are going to. I feel rather nervous, but Lee says he
+can never stand anything like these three days again.
+
+[Illustration: "He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale to
+our trip all along," etc.]
+
+
+                                           _Midnight of the same day._
+
+My Own Dearest Mama: Uncle says yes! He says he has been carefully
+scheming and planning to bring Lee and me together for years. He says
+there are traits in Lee which are so like his own that he cannot but
+admit that Lee is one of the very few men in this world calculated to
+make a woman happy. He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale
+to our trip all along, and I do believe that he really believes himself.
+
+The Brewers arrived about nine o'clock to-night, and they are so
+delighted. Mr. Brewer is so kind; he says Uncle must go to Locmariaquer
+and around that way with them. I reckon he thinks I need a rest. We told
+them about Clara and the locket, and I thought that they would die. Mr.
+Brewer says that never a day passes without their remembering something
+fresh which she must have overheard.
+
+I am so happy over Uncle that I hardly know what to do. He says it has
+been the pleasantest trip of his life, this little tour with me, and
+that Lee must never cease to treat me with the tender care which he has
+given me all along. He says Lee must remember what a sensitive
+organization a woman has and never indulge in temper or impatience or
+strong language or sarcasm. Lee is very nice and says "Yes, sir," and
+nods every time. I do think Lee gets nicer and nicer all the time.
+
+We start toward Paris to-morrow.
+
+                                                Your awfully happy,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+XV
+
+UNCLE JOHN WELL CONTENT
+
+
+"Well, Mrs. Brewer, this is certainly the only way to travel, after all.
+Comfortable, clean,--for if there is a smell, some other fellow gets
+it,--and no jolting. And now that I have that dear child established and
+off my mind, I feel that I can conscientiously give myself a few days of
+free and easy pleasure. I've done nothing up to now but consider Yvonne
+and her needs, mental and material, and although I love the child like
+my own, still I cannot but admit that a young girl is a great care. And
+of course you never can be positive that the right man will turn up.
+However, all's well that ends well, and I'm happy to say that I'm ending
+this little trip extremely well content. Some men might regret not
+having seen more, but never me. You see, Brewer, I am one of the
+easy-going, placid, serene type, and whatever turns up suits me
+perfectly. I guess if you ask my family far and wide you won't find one
+member to deny that statement, or if you do, you will just have the
+kindness to let me know who it is and I'll take steps to prevent their
+ever expressing such an opinion a second time.
+
+"Fine view here. Good road. Believe I'll have a machine of my own when
+I get back to America. What's that island off at sea? Belle-Isle, eh?
+Dumas' Belle-Isle? Very interesting. We might make a little excursion
+out there, calling ourselves the Three Mousquetaires, eh? I'll be
+d'Artagnan; I always fancy d'Artagnan. I tell you, Brewer, something
+martial gets up and stirs around in my bosom as a result of this trip--a
+sort of dare-devil, Robert-the-Devil, piratical, Crusader sort of a
+thrill. I shall never be sorry that I came. The trip has not been one of
+unmitigated joy. We have borne our crosses,--many crosses,--and yet I
+will remark--and I'll swear it, too, if you like,--that I'm glad I came.
+
+"I've seen thoroughly every place I've been in. I've made my niece
+enjoy life, and I've made every one else with whom I came in contact
+enjoy life. I've won for her just the one man calculated to make her
+happy, and now I am headed for the one land calculated to make me happy.
+
+"I'm glad that I came, I'm glad that I came."
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN ***
+
+***** This file should be named 35574-8.txt or 35574-8.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/5/7/35574/
+
+Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
diff --git a/35574-8.zip b/35574-8.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e6d92e4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-8.zip
diff --git a/35574-h.zip b/35574-h.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..df0e1cf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h.zip
diff --git a/35574-h/35574-h.htm b/35574-h/35574-h.htm
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e0a4ce1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/35574-h.htm
@@ -0,0 +1,6288 @@
+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"
+   "http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/loose.dtd">
+<HTML><HEAD>
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1">
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css">
+    <title>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner.
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css">
+
+body {
+    margin-left: 10%;
+    margin-right: 10%;
+}
+
+    h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {
+    text-align: center; /* all headings centered */
+    clear: both;
+}
+
+p {
+    margin-top: .75em;
+    text-align: justify;
+    margin-bottom: .75em;
+}
+
+hr {
+    width: 33%;
+    margin-top: 1em;
+    margin-bottom: 1em;
+    margin-left: auto;
+    margin-right: auto;
+    clear: both;
+}
+
+
+    table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;}
+
+.dropcap {
+	LINE-HEIGHT: 83%; PADDING-RIGHT: 3px; FLOAT: left; FONT-SIZE: 250%
+}
+
+.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */
+/*    visibility: hidden;  */
+    position: absolute;
+    left: 92%;
+    font-size: smaller;
+    text-align: right;
+} /* page numbers */
+
+.blockquot {
+    margin-left: 5%;
+    margin-right: 10%;
+}
+
+.bb       {border-bottom: solid 2px;}
+
+.bl       {border-left: solid 2px;}
+
+.bt       {border-top: solid 2px;}
+
+.br       {border-right: solid 2px;}
+
+.bbox     {border: solid 2px;}
+
+.center   {text-align: center;}
+
+.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
+
+.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
+
+.caption  {font-weight: bold;}
+
+/* Heading */
+.headbig   {
+    text-align: center;
+    font-size: 1.8em
+}
+
+/* Images */
+.figcenter   {
+    margin: auto;
+    text-align: center;
+}
+
+/* Footnotes */
+.footnote         {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;}
+
+.footnote .label  {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;}
+
+.fnanchor {
+    vertical-align: super;
+    font-size: .8em;
+    text-decoration:
+    none;
+}
+.trnote {
+    width: 30em;
+    text-align: left;
+    margin: auto;
+}
+
+.rthead {
+    margin-right:5%;
+    text-align: right;
+}
+.rtxhead {
+    margin-right:10%;
+    text-align: right;
+}
+    </style>
+  </head>
+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Seeing France with Uncle John
+
+Author: Anne Warner
+
+Illustrator: May Wilson Preston
+
+Release Date: March 14, 2011 [EBook #35574]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<div class="trnote">
+<p><a name="luuch" id="luuch"></a><b>Transcribers note:</b></p>
+
+<p>A minor error has been corrected in Chapter V (Section on Beauvaise)<br>
+&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <a href="#lunch">luuch changed to lunch</a>.</p>
+</div>
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+
+<br>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 380px;">
+<img src="images/cover.png" width="380" height="590" alt="" title="">
+</div>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<p>&nbsp;</p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 440px;">
+<a name="gs01" id="gs01"></a>
+<img src="images/gs01.png" width="450" height="545" alt="&quot;I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while he
+kept up a running contradiction of everything I read.&quot;" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while he
+kept up a running contradiction of everything I read.&quot;</span>
+</div><br><br>
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h1><i>Seeing France With Uncle John</i></h1>
+
+<p class="center"><i>By</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Anne Warner</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Author of
+"Susan Clegg and her friend Mrs. Lathrop," etc.</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>With Illustrations by</i></p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>May Wilson Preston</i></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60px;">
+<img src="images/tp_gs_decal.png" width="60" height="61" alt="" title="">
+</div>
+
+<p class="center"><i>New York
+The Century Co.
+1906</i></p>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+
+
+
+<p class="center">Copyright, 1906, by</p>
+
+<p class="center"><span class="smcap">The Century Co.</span></p>
+
+<p class="center">--------</p>
+
+<p class="center"><i>Published October, 1906</i></p>
+
+<p class="center">THE DE VINNE PRESS</p>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;"><br>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg v]</a></span></p>
+<h2><i>List of Illustrations</i></h2>
+
+
+
+<div class='center'>
+<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs01">"I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while he kept up a running contradiction of everything I read"</a></td><td align='right'><i>Frontispiece</i></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs02">"She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet"</a></td><td align='right'>8</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs03">"While we walk"</a></td><td align='right'>9</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs04">Rouen--Maison du XV siècle</a></td><td align='right'>24</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs05">"'Richard Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh?'"</a></td><td align='right'>33</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs06">"'So that's the clock?'"</a></td><td align='right'>41</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs07">"'There's been no tampering with <i>this</i> ruin'"</a></td><td align='right'>65</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs08">"'This is as good a time as we'll have to study up on Gisors'"</a></td><td align='right'>79</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs09">"'Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt'"</a></td><td align='right'>93</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs10">Beauvais</a></td><td align='right'>96</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs11">"'What's that chopped-off creation before us?'"</a></td><td align='right'>99</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs12">"'Look how mad that old lady is'"</a></td><td align='right'>105</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs13">"We found our beloved relative"</a></td><td align='right'>116</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs14">"She took hold of our hands as if she'd been our long-lost mother for years"</a></td><td align='right'>121</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs15">Dreux</a></td><td align='right'>150</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs16">"Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a dollar a day, and Uncle said, 'Great Scott!'"</a></td><td align='right'>157</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs17">Falaise</a></td><td align='right'>160<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg vi]</a></span></td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs18">"Paid the man at the entrance and let him go"</a></td><td align='right'>163</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs19">"The coming down was awful"</a></td><td align='right'>168</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs20">"'I'm happy that it will be out of the question for me ever to travel again'"</a></td><td align='right'>177</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs21">"Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and I know she didn't like it by the way she looked at him"</a></td><td align='right'>195</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs22">Caen</a></td><td align='right'>198</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs23">"He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot even think calmly of a stair-case yet"</a></td><td align='right'>205</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs24">Bayeux</a></td><td align='right'>216</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs25">"And it was Lee"</a></td><td align='right'>221</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs26">"We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along for dear life"</a></td><td align='right'>228</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs27">"Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest"</a></td><td align='right'>245</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs28">In Mont-Saint-Michel</a></td><td align='right'>276</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs29">"Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily"</a></td><td align='right'>281</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs30">"Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say she is going to Dol"</a></td><td align='right'>293</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs31">A Street in Auray</a></td><td align='right'>301</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs32">"When he went to wash I gave the waiter an extra tip to feed us quickly"</a></td><td align='right'>303</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs33">"Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast"</a></td><td align='right'>307</td></tr>
+<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs34">"He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale to our trip all along," etc.</a></td><td align='right'>315</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+
+<br>
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+
+<p class="headbig"><i>Seeing France With
+Uncle John</i></p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span>
+<br>
+
+<h2> I </h2>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p>
+<br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Second day out at sea.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class = "dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: We did get
+off at last, about four in the
+afternoon, but you never imagined
+anything like the day we had
+with Uncle John. It was awful, and,
+as luck would have it, he just happened
+to go aft or sou'west, or whatever it is
+on shipboard, in time to see them drop<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span>
+his trunk into the hold, and they let it
+fall from such a height that he swore for
+an hour. I don't see why Uncle is so
+unreasonable; a Russian gentleman had
+the locks broken to both his trunks and
+just smiled, and a very lovely Italian
+lady had her trunk caved in by the hoisting-rope
+and only shrugged her shoulders;
+but Uncle turned the whole deck
+fairly black and blue on account of a
+little fall into the hold. If Lee had
+only been along to soothe him down!
+But Lee is in London by this time. I
+do think he might have waited and gone
+with us, but Uncle says he's glad he
+didn't, because he says he has more than
+half an idea that Lee's in love with me,
+and that no girl alive could be happy
+with him. I wish Uncle liked Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span>
+better. I wish Lee wouldn't slap him
+on the back and call him "old boy" the
+way he does.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clary doesn't like it because she
+has to sit next to the doctor and talk
+English to him, and he can't talk English.
+She says whenever she goes on
+board a liner the doctor always spots
+her as intelligent-looking, and has her put
+next to him for English purposes. She says
+she's made seven trips as nursery-governess
+to a doctor with linguistic
+aspirations. The consequence is, she
+has most of her meals on deck with a
+man named Mr. Chopstone. Uncle
+doesn't like Mr. Chopstone, because he
+says he has a sneaking suspicion that
+Mr. Chopstone admires Edna. He says
+Edna could never be happy with a man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span>
+like Mr. Chopstone.</p>
+
+<p>More later.</p><br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Fourth day out.</i></p>
+<p><span class="smcap">I've</span> been writing Lee; I can mail it at
+Plymouth. It does seem to me as if Lee
+might have waited and gone with us.</p>
+
+<p>We are nicely adjusted now, and Uncle
+has had his trunk brought to his
+room, and has examined the corners and
+found them intact; so now the trunk is
+off his mind. But he has almost had
+fits over a man named Monsieur Sibilet,
+so the situation has been about as brimstony
+as ever. M. Sibilet is a Frenchman
+going back to France, but his chair
+is next to Mrs. Clary's, and Uncle says
+steamer-chairs are never accidents, but
+are always premeditated and with intent<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span>
+to kill. He asked Mrs. Clary if she
+couldn't see that no woman could ever
+be happy with a dancing fan-tan like
+Sibilet. We didn't know what a "fan-tan"
+was, but we all agreed with Uncle's
+premises as to poor monsieur; and then
+it developed that there is a Mme. Sibilet
+deathly sick down below, and Uncle
+said that he had known it all the time
+and was only joking.</p>
+
+<p>Edna and Harry are very happy, but
+they have to be awfully careful, because
+Uncle says he has a half-fledged notion
+that Harry is paying attention to Edna,
+and that he won't allow anything of the
+kind&mdash;not for one York second. We
+don't know what a "York second" is,
+and we haven't asked. Uncle plays
+poker nights, and we make the most of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span>
+it. There is a nice Yale man on board,
+and I walk around with him. His name
+is Edgar. Uncle says he looks as if he
+had his bait out for a fortune, but Mrs.
+Clary says to never mind it&mdash;to go right
+on walking. She lies still while we
+walk, ande talks to M. Sibilet in French.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs02" id="gs02"></a>
+<img src="images/gs02.png" width="450" height="338" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<br>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs03" id="gs03"></a>
+<img src="images/gs03.png" width="450" height="374" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;While we walk&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>Uncle says he is the head of this expedition,
+and there's to be no foolishness.
+He says it's all rot about a man
+not being able to see through women,
+and that Edna and I needn't expect to
+keep any secrets from him. I do wish
+Lee was here to soothe him down. He
+was so furious to-day because he shut up<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>
+his wash-stand and let the tooth-powder
+slide to perdition. M. Sibilet offered
+him an extra box of his own, but Uncle
+wasn't a bit grateful. He says he is
+sure M. Sibilet is in love with Mrs.
+Clary now, or why under the sun should
+he offer him his tooth-powder? He says
+he thinks it's disgraceful, considering
+poor Mme. Sibilet, and he took mine
+instead.</p>
+
+<p>More later.</p>
+<br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Sixth day out.</i></p>
+<p><span class="smcap">I do wish</span> we were in Havre, or anywhere
+where Uncle had more room.
+The third officer invited him up on the
+bridge yesterday, and Uncle says you
+needn't tell him that any third officer
+in this world ever would invite him up
+to the bridge unless he had his eye on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span>
+Edna or me. Uncle says for Edna and
+me to remember that old uncles have
+eyes as well as young third officers, and
+to bear in mind that it would be a dog's
+life to be married to a third officer.
+I'm beginning to be very glad, indeed,
+that Lee took another steamer; I reckon
+Lee saw how it would be. Uncle says
+he'd like to know what we took a slow
+steamer for, anyhow. He says it would
+have been more comfortable to have all
+been in death agonies and to have been
+in Havre by this time. He was terribly
+upset to-day by Mme. Sibilet's coming
+on deck and proving to be an old lady
+with white hair and the mother of monsieur
+instead of the wife. He says you
+needn't talk to him about French honor
+after this. We don't know what the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span>
+connection is between poor old Mme.
+Sibilet and French honor, but we think
+it best not to ask. The truth is, Uncle
+lost all patience with M. Sibilet the day
+it rained and pitched&mdash;I think it was the
+third day out. He never did like him
+very much, anyhow. Mrs. Clary wanted
+to sit in the wind that day, and she and
+monsieur sat in the wind until the rain
+grew so bad that they were absolutely
+driven to come around and sit by Uncle,
+under the lee of the port, or whatever it
+is on board ship. Monsieur lugged Mrs.
+Clary's chair because he couldn't find a
+steward, and he brought it around by the
+smoking-room and the whole length of
+the deck, with the steamer pitching so
+that half the time he was on top of the
+chair, and the other half of the time the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span>
+chair was on top of him. There was
+no one on deck but us, on account of
+the storm, and I thought we should die
+laughing, because there were forty
+empty chairs under shelter already.
+Uncle waited until, with a final slip and
+a slide, the poor man landed the chair,
+and then he screamed: "I say, Sibbilly,
+just take the cards out and change <i>them</i>
+another time. That's the way we
+Americans do."</p>
+
+<p>You should have seen poor monsieur's
+face! Uncle said the whole affair
+gave him a queer feeling as to what
+might be in store for us in France. He
+said if M. Sibilet was a sample Frenchman,
+he thought he wouldn't get off at
+Havre, after all.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clary is in lots of trouble over<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span>
+the doctor. He comes up on deck and
+bothers her half to death, talking English.
+She can't understand his English,
+and M. Sibilet gets tired translating. M.
+Sibilet speaks seven languages. Uncle
+says that's nothing to his credit, however.</p>
+
+<p>More later.</p>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Ninth day out.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Uncle</span> is in high spirits to-day, for
+he won the pool. He has been so disgusted
+because Mr. Edgar has won it
+three times. Uncle says that's no sign
+he'd be a good husband, though. I do
+think Uncle's logic is so very peculiar.
+He came into my state-room to-day and
+asked me if I didn't think the doctor
+was absolutely impertinent in the way<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span>
+he was pursuing Mrs. Clary. You'd
+have thought the doctor tore after her
+around the deck, to hear him. He said
+he expected to have trouble with Edna
+and me, but he never looked for Mrs.
+Clary to be a care. He said he didn't
+suppose she was over forty, but she ought
+to consider appearances more. He was
+quite put out, and I am gladder than ever
+that Lee isn't with us.</p>
+
+<p>We laughed ourselves half sick to-day
+over Mr. Chopstone. Uncle's port-hole
+doesn't work very easily, and Mr.
+Chopstone heard him talking about it
+to himself as he passed in the corridor,
+and he went in to help him. Uncle
+asked Mr. Chopstone if he had a crow-bar
+or a monkey-wrench with him, and
+Mr. Chopstone didn't have a crow-bar<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span>
+or a monkey-wrench with him, but said
+why not ring for the steward. Uncle
+wouldn't hear to the steward, and so
+they climbed on the divan together and
+tried to pry it with Uncle's hair-brush.</p>
+
+<p>The hair-brush broke, and Uncle
+went spinning, but Mr. Chopstone
+caught his cuff in the crack, and it tore,
+and half of his shirt-sleeve with a diamond
+cuff-link went to sea. At first
+we all felt awful about it, but he was so
+composed that Edna said he must be a
+millionaire, and Uncle said it must be a
+paste diamond. That is all only preliminary
+to the funny part. This afternoon
+we were lying in our chairs and
+Uncle was standing by the rail looking
+at a ship. All of a sudden he exclaimed,
+"Great Scott! Chopstone, if there isn't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span>
+your cuff!" Mr. Chopstone made just
+one bound from his chair to the rail, and
+looked over so hard that his cap fell into
+the sea. Of course the mere idea of
+the cuff having sailed as fast as we did
+all day used us up completely, and Uncle
+in particular had to hang to the rail
+for support while he sort of wove back
+and forth in an ecstasy of speechless joy.
+Even M. Sibilet was overcome by mirth,
+although it turned out afterward that he
+thought the fun was on account of the
+lost cap. And then, when we got ourselves
+selves under control once more, Mr.
+Chopstone explained that what he had
+thought was that the cuff had caught
+somewhere on the outside of the
+steamer and that Uncle saw it hanging
+there. Edna says that it all shows that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span>
+poor Mr. Chopstone is <i>not</i> a millionaire,
+and Mrs. Clary says it proves, too, that
+it <i>was</i> a real diamond.</p>
+
+<p>It is beginning to seem like a pretty
+long trip, and Mrs. Clary has started
+packing her trunk. The little flag that
+marks our progress across the chart is
+making Europe in great jumps, and we
+are all glad. Uncle gets more restless
+every day, and he says if the doctor
+don't quit coming up on deck to talk
+to Mrs. Clary, something will soon
+drop. The doctor is really very amusing;
+he says the first officer has a pet
+"marmadillo," but we cannot see it
+because it is too anxious. He means
+"frightened," it seems. Mr. Edgar is
+very nice; both he and Mr. Chopstone
+are going to Paris. Lee will be in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span>
+Paris by Wednesday, I hope, and I most
+sincerely trust he will keep on the right
+side of Uncle.</p>
+
+<p>They say we will land early day after
+to-morrow. I can mail my letters in
+Plymouth to-morrow evening. Uncle
+says he's going express hereafter; he
+says no more dilly-dally voyages for him.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Tenth day out.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">What</span> do you think! Uncle took me
+into the parlor after dinner to-night
+and told me that he wasn't going to
+Paris with the rest. He says he didn't
+come abroad to scurry around like a
+wild rabbit, and that he's going to stop
+in Havre for a day or two. He says
+Edna and I had better stay with him,
+as he can't think of our traveling with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>
+Mr. Edgar and Mr. Chopstone alone.
+I said, "But there's Mrs. Clary." And
+he said, "Yes; but you forget Sibbilly."
+I do think Uncle's logic is so remarkable.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Eleventh day out.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Everybody</span> is getting their trunks in
+from the baggage-room and running to
+the rail to look at ships. Uncle won
+the pool again to-day; he says this is one
+of the pleasantest trips he ever made, and
+he shook hands with M. Sibilet when
+he met him on deck this morning.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clary is awfully upset over our
+staying in Havre, and she says if Lee is
+in Paris he won't like it, either. We
+expect a mail in Plymouth.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Later.</i></p>
+
+<p>The mail came, and I had a letter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span>
+from Lee. He is going to Russia for a
+week, and he folded in an extra piece,
+saying to give Uncle the letter. It was
+a funny kind of letter, but of course it
+had to be a funny kind of letter if I was
+to give it to Uncle. I gave it to Uncle,
+and he said, "Hum!" and that was all.
+He says if Mr. Edgar or Mr. Chopstone
+stay in Havre he'll know the reason
+why. I do think Uncle might be more
+reasonable. Edna has been crying. She
+doesn't want to stay in Havre; she
+wants to go to Paris when Harry goes.</p>
+
+
+<p class="rtxhead">Yours with love, as ever,&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="rtxhead"><span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="II" id="II"></a>II</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN IN ROUEN</p>
+<br>
+<p class="rthead">9 <span class="smcap">a.m.</span></p>
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">"W</span><span class="smcap">ell</span>, girls, are you ready to
+get up and out and set about
+improving your minds? I've
+been reading the guide-book and spilling
+my coffee with trying to do two
+things at once, ever since eight o'clock.
+But what your Uncle John doesn't
+know about Rouen now isn't worth
+stopping to look up in the index.
+Why, I've even got the real French
+twang to the pronunciation. It's Rooank;
+only you stop short of the 'n'
+and the 'k,' so to speak. The waiter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span>
+who brought my breakfast showed me
+how to do it&mdash;said he never saw a foreigner
+catch on to the trick so quick
+before. I gave him one of those
+slim little quarters they have here, and
+he was so pleased that he taught me
+how to say 'Joan of Arc' for nothing.
+It's Shondark&mdash;<i>Shondark</i>. I learned it
+in no time. Well, come on, if you're
+ready. I've been waiting almost an
+hour.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs04" id="gs04"></a>
+<img src="images/gs04.png" width="300" height="448" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">Rouen&mdash;Maison du XV siècle</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>"I declare, but this fresh, free atmosphere
+is refreshing! As soon as you get
+outside of your bedroom door you begin
+to get the full benefit of the Continental
+climate. I presume, if you're
+poor, you get it as soon as you get outside
+of your bed clothes. Rather a medieval<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span>
+staircase, eh? And four orange-trees
+at the bottom to try and fool us
+into feeling balmy. However, I don't
+mind little discomforts: all I mind is
+being shut up on a ship with a darned<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span>
+fool like that man Sibbilly. I shouldn't
+wonder if his mother was his wife, after
+all. I could believe anything of him.
+I didn't like him.</p>
+
+<p>"We'll go to take in the cathedral
+first; it isn't far, and I've got it all by
+heart. Thirteenth century and unsymmetrical&mdash;you
+must remember that.
+There, that's it ahead there&mdash;with the
+scaffolding. They're bolstering it up
+somewhat, so as to keep on hooking
+tourists, I presume. The biggest tower
+is the Butter Tower, built out of paid-for
+permissions to eat butter in Lent.
+Rather a rough joke, its being so much
+the biggest, isn't it? The whole cathedral's
+lopsided from eating butter, so to
+speak. I believe it's the thing to stop
+in front and act as if you were overcome;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span>
+so we'll just call a halt here and
+take in the general effect of the scaffolding.</p>
+
+<p>"Now we'll walk around the whole
+thing. I haven't come abroad to take
+life with a hop, skip, and jump; I've
+come to be thorough, and I want you
+girls to form the habit of being thorough,
+too. What I didn't like about
+that fellow Edgar was his not being
+thorough. When he went down to
+look at the ship's machinery he only
+stayed an hour. Now, I didn't go
+at all; but if I had gone, I should
+have stayed more than an hour. Good
+job of scaffolding, isn't it? You see,
+they make the scaffolding out of young
+trees withed together, and use them
+over and over. Economical. Just<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span>
+about what you'd expect of Sibbilly.
+Those gargoyles and saints around the
+top stick their heads out pretty interested-like,
+don't they? But their view
+is for the most part blocked. Now this
+cheerful old jail at the back is the palace
+of the archbishop. I wish, young
+ladies, that you would note those little
+bits of high windows and the good
+thick bars across them as illustrating the
+secure faith that the dead and gone archbishops
+had in their loving people. I'll
+bet there's been plenty of battering and
+rioting around under these walls, first
+and last; plenty of fists and sticks and
+stones. It's big, isn't it? Big as half
+a block, and things look so much bigger
+here than they do at home. They slide
+a roof up slanting and cock it full of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span>
+little crooked windows, and you feel as
+if you must tip over backward to take
+in the top. I vow, I don't just see how
+it's done; but&mdash;oh, here's where we
+go in. This dark, damp little stone-paved
+alley is the celebrated 'Portail
+des Libraires,' so called because those
+arcades used to be full of book-stalls.
+We go along on the cobble-stones,ont
+throw ourselves hard against this little
+swinging door; it creaks, it yields, we
+enter&mdash;hush!</p>
+
+<p>"Great Scott, isn't it big, and <i>isn't</i>
+it damp? Will you look up in that roof?
+I feel solemn in spite of myself; but,
+then, feeling solemn is no use: what we
+want to do is to find some one to open
+those big iron gates, for the most of
+what is to see is in back there. Edna,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span>
+you ask that man how we can get hold
+of some other man. Well, what did he
+say? Said to ask the Swiss, did he?
+What does he mean by that? Is it a
+joke, or can't they trust a Frenchman
+with their old relics? I've been told
+that in Japanese banks they always have
+to have a Chinaman to handle the
+money, and maybe it's equally the
+thing in a French cathedral to have a
+Swiss look after the relics. But the
+guide-book never said a word about a
+Swiss: it said '<i>fee</i>,' and I've got my
+pocket full of them.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, where can we get a Swiss?
+I should think he'd be more handy
+than he appears to be. There's another
+man looking for him, too. He&mdash;Great
+Scott! if it isn't&mdash;no, that is impossible.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span>
+Yes, it is!</p>
+
+<p>"I beg your pardon, sir, but is your
+name Porter? Yes? Robert Porter&mdash;Bobby
+Porter that went to the Washington
+School? Bob, do you remember
+me? Well, of all the larks!</p>
+
+<p>"Girls, this man and I went to school
+side by side for eight years, and he's the
+finest&mdash;my nieces, Bob. That's Edna
+and this is Yvonne, and&mdash;you don't say
+he's your son? Didn't know you
+ever married. Oh, I'll take your word
+for it, of course; but, I say, Bob, you've
+got to come and dine with us to-night.
+You must; I won't have it any other
+way. You and I'll have to just sit
+down and overhaul all our old memories
+together. Do you remember&mdash;but
+how do you come to be in Europe, anyhow;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span>
+and what liner did you line up
+on? We had a beastly trip,&mdash;only came
+from Havre last night,&mdash;and, by the
+way, how in thunder can we get hold
+of the man who opens these iron gates?
+Everything in the place is back there.</p>
+
+<p>"Is that a Swiss&mdash;that splendid circus-chariot
+driver? Give you my word,
+I thought he was a cardinal! How
+much of a tip is that much gold lace
+going to look forward to getting? I
+wish he was plainer, somehow. I'll
+tell you, Bob; you pay, and I'll settle
+up later. I certainly am glad to see the
+gates open; I felt more like a serpent
+shut out of paradise than I ever expected
+to feel in all my life.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, now we begin. Who's buried
+here? Henry II of England, eh?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span>
+I can't read Latin, so Henry's virtues
+and dates are all one to me. Which
+Henry was he, anyhow&mdash;the one with
+six wives or the one who never shed a
+smile? Either way, let's move on.</p>
+
+<p>"What comes next?
+Richard-C&#339;ur-de-Lion&mdash;petrified, eh? Oh,
+only a statue of him; that's less interesting.
+I thought at last I was looking at Richard
+when he was himself again. What
+is our Swiss friend hissing about? Heart
+buried underneath? Whose heart?&mdash;Richard's?
+Ask if it's his bona fide
+heart or only a death-mask of it? Strikes
+me as a pretty big statue to put up to
+a heart, don't you think, Bob? But
+come on; I want to be looking at something
+else.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs05" id="gs05"></a>
+<img src="images/gs05.png" width="450" height="303" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;&#39;Richard-C&#339;ur-de-Lion&mdash;petrified, eh?&#39;&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>"So this is the tomb of the husband<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span>
+of Diana of Poitiers? I didn't know
+she ever had a husband&mdash;thought she
+only had a king. I've never been
+brought up to think of Diana of Poitiers
+mourning a husband. But maybe she
+did, maybe she did. They say you must
+check your common sense at the hotel
+when you set out to inspect Europe, and
+I believe it&mdash;I believe it. It's a nice
+tomb, and if they kneel and mourn in a
+gown with a train, she certainly is doing
+it up brown. However, let's go on.</p>
+
+<p>"Two cardinals of Amboise kind of
+going in procession on their knees over
+their own dead bodies&mdash;or maybe it's
+only hearts again. Well, Bob, the Reformation
+was a great thing, after all,
+wasn't it? Must have felt fine to
+straighten up for a while. Stop a bit;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span>
+the guide-book said there was something
+to examine about these two&mdash;wait till I
+find the place. Oh, well, never mind;
+I dare say a guide-book's very handy,
+but I move we quit this damp old hole,
+anyway. I wouldn't bother to come
+again. That's a sad thing about life,
+Bob; as soon as you get in front of anything
+and get a square look at it, you're
+ready to move on&mdash;at least I am.</p>
+
+<p>"What's he saying? Well, ask him
+again. Whose grave? Well, ask him
+again. Rollo's! What, Rollo that was
+'At Work' and 'At Play' and at everything
+else when we were kids? Another?
+What other? Well, ask him.
+Rollo the Norman? I don't see anything
+very remarkable in a Norman being buried
+in Normandy, do you, Bob? When<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span>
+did he die? Well, <i>ask</i> him. What are
+we paying him for, anyway? Died about
+900, eh! And this church wasn't built
+till four hundred years later. Where did
+he spend the time while he was waiting
+to be buried? Well, ask him. I declare,
+if I could talk French, I bet I'd know
+something about things. You are the
+<i>dumbest</i> lot! Here's Rollo lying around
+loose for as long as we've had America
+with us, and no one takes any interest in
+where. Is that the tomb he finally got
+into? Clever idea to have it so dark no
+one can see it, after all. I suppose he
+thinks we'll be impressed, but I ain't.
+I don't believe Rollo's in there, anyhow.</p>
+
+<p>"Come on; I'm tired of this old
+church. I move that we go out and
+look at the place where they burned<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span>
+Joan of Arc, or something else that is
+bright and cheerful. What's he saying?
+No, I don't want to see any treasury;
+I've done enough church-going for
+one week-day. Give him his money,
+Bob, and let's get out. You tell us
+where to go next; you must know everything,
+if you were here all day yesterday.
+I want to see that double-faced
+clock and those carvings of the Field of
+the Cloth of Gold. They're all over
+in the same direction.</p>
+
+<p>"Good to be out in the air, eh? I
+vow, I never was great on churches.
+What boat did you come over on? Did
+it roll? Ours rolled and pitched, too.
+I never saw such a rolling. I tell you,
+Bob, the man will make a fortune who
+invents a level liner. I used to try and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span>
+figure on how to hang the passenger department
+in an open square, so it could
+swing free,&mdash;do you get the idea?&mdash;but
+I don't know as it could be managed.
+I was trying to work it out one morning,
+and I came up against the wash-stand
+so sudden that I thought I was cut
+in two; the next second I went backward
+so quick that the edge of the berth
+nearly amputated my legs; and then the
+whole craft arose on such a swell that I
+swallowed half my tooth-brush. You
+may laugh, Bob, but I'm not telling
+this to be funny; I'm telling it for a
+fact. I had to have the steward in to
+put the washing-apparatus to rights, and
+I asked him what in thunder was up
+outside. He was standing at an angle
+of forty-five degrees, looking up at me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span>
+where I sat in the lower berth, and he
+said, 'If the wind shifts, we're very
+likely to have it rough.' Just then he
+took on an angle of ninety-five degrees,
+and my trunk slid out on his feet so
+quick he had to hop. I said: 'Have it
+<i>rough</i>, eh? Well, I'm glad to know, so
+that I can take advantage of this calm
+spell.'</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs06" id="gs06"></a>
+<img src="images/gs06.png" width="300" height="496" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;&#39;So that&#39;s the clock!&#39;&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>"So that's the clock! Well, it's a
+big one, surely&mdash;almost as wide as the
+street, although candor compels us to
+own that the street is about the narrowest
+ever. All right, I'm done; a clock
+is a clock, and one look in its face always
+tells me all I want to know. Come on;
+we can't stand dilly-dallying if we're to
+get through Rouen to-day, and I must
+say I consider a day to a town as quite<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span>
+enough in Europe. I know, when I
+was young and traveled for wholesale
+shoes, I used often and often to do three
+towns a day and never turn a hair. I
+tell you, Bob, when I was&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Is that the fountain? Hold on; we
+want to see that! The guide-book has
+it in italics. I don't see anything to
+underline, though; looks foreign to me.
+Come on; we've got to be getting somewhere,
+or I shall feel I was a fool to stop
+off at Rouen. Not that I'm not glad
+to have met you again, Bob; but that
+could have happened anywhere else just
+as well, you know. When did you come
+over? Last year! Great Scott, what are
+you staying so long for? I bet I get
+enough in six weeks; I feel as if I'd got
+pretty close to enough now. Not that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>
+time ever hangs heavy on my hands, you
+know. No, not by a long shot. I'm
+the kind of man that can always amuse
+himself. Give me a fair show,&mdash;off a
+ship, of course,&mdash;and I'll defy any one
+to get on better. Take the day we
+landed, for instance, there in Havre,&mdash;rainy,
+not a thing to do, and every one
+else off for Paris. You might have
+looked for me to be a little disgusted,
+naturally; but not a bit of it. The day
+went like the wind. We landed at noon,
+I slept all the afternoon, and in the
+evening I took a bath. I tell you, Bob,
+a fellow with brains can get on anywhere.
+I never know what it is to feel
+bored.</p>
+
+<p>"What's our Goddess of Liberty doing
+up there? What's that Indian beadwork<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span>
+around her feet for? Who? You
+don't mean to tell me that's Joan of
+Arc? Well, all I can say is, I never imagined
+her like that. But what are the
+beads? French funeral wreaths! Great
+Scott! do they keep Charlemagne
+wreathed, too, or is five hundred years
+the bead-wreath limit? Pretty idea, to
+put up a fountain where they burnt
+her&mdash;keep her memory damp at all
+events, eh? What's the moral of her
+train turning into a dolphin? Just to
+bring the mind gradually down to the
+level of the fact that it is a fountain, after
+all, I suppose.</p>
+
+<p>"She wasn't burnt here, anyhow, the
+book said. The book said she was
+burnt farther over. Smart people here&mdash;have
+two places where she was burnt,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span>
+so people must trot through the whole
+market if they try to be conscientious.
+Look at that woman, with her bouquet
+of live chickens&mdash;novel effect in chickens,
+eh, Bob? Strikes me it was an enterprising
+idea to burn Joan in the market,
+anyhow&mdash;good business for the
+market. Folks come to see the statue,
+and incidentally buy some peanuts.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, where can we go now? I say
+to set out and have a look at the tower
+where she was imprisoned. Pulled
+down! It isn't, either; it's starred in
+the book. What's that? This tower
+named for her, and hers pulled down!
+Well, there's French honor for you
+again. What do you think of Sibbilly
+now, Edna? I don't want to see the
+tower if it ain't the real one. I want<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span>
+to see the bas-reliefs of the Field of the
+Cloth of Gold, and then I want to go
+back to the hotel to lunch. I tell you,
+this sight-seeing is a great appetizer.
+The more old ruins and burnings I look
+over, the hungrier I get.</p>
+
+<p>"Is this the place? Makes me think
+of a sort of glorified gate to a woodyard.
+What is it, now? Well, ask somebody!
+A bank, eh? Are those the famous
+bas-reliefs? Those! Them! Well, well,
+I must say the touring public is easy
+game. They're all worn off. What's
+the tin overhead for? To keep the rain
+from damaging them, eh? Pretty bit of
+sarcasm, eh, Bob? Great pity they
+didn't think to put it four or five hundred
+years sooner. I don't see a man
+with a head or a horse with a leg from<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span>
+here. It lacks character, to my idea.
+Let's go home. Come on. I've racked
+around Rouen all I care to for one
+day."</p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="III" id="III"></a>III</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Rouen.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: It is
+midnight, and I must tell
+you the most astonishing
+piece of news. We came here with
+Uncle last night, and all this morning
+we were out with him. When we came
+home and unlocked our room we found
+<i>Lee</i> sitting by the window. But he
+doesn't want Uncle to know. It was
+fortunate that Uncle's room is across the
+hall, for I screamed. We couldn't see
+how he got in, but he says that he has<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span>
+bent a buttonhook so that he can travel
+all over Europe. It seems he never
+meant to go to Russia at all; but he
+doesn't want Uncle to know. He says
+he thinks Russia is a good place for Uncle
+to imagine him in. We had such
+fun! We told him all about the voyage
+and all about Uncle. He says M. Sibilet's
+mother <i>is</i> his wife&mdash;he married her
+for money. He says he's a painter.
+Lee is really going yachting, but he
+doesn't want Uncle to know. He isn't
+going for a while, though; and he
+doesn't want Uncle to know that,
+either. While we were talking, Uncle
+rapped, and Lee had to get into the
+wardrobe while Uncle came in and read
+us a lecture. When we were in the
+cathedral to-day he found a man he used<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span>
+to know in school, and he was utterly
+overjoyed until he saw that the man had
+a son; and then, of course, he was worried
+over the son. So he came in to-night
+to tell us that it he discovered any
+skylarking, he should at once give up a
+friendship which had always meant
+more to him than we young things could
+possibly imagine. He said we must
+understand that he'd have no sort of
+foolishness going on, and at that the
+wardrobe creaked so awfully that Edna
+had a fit of coughing, and I didn't know
+what I should have if he kept on. He
+didn't go until it was high lunch-time,
+and I was afraid Lee would have to stay
+in the wardrobe until he smothered.
+When Uncle was gone, Edna asked Lee
+how under the sun he kept still, and he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span>
+said he nearly died, because so many
+hooks hooked into his coat and he had
+nothing to perch on except shoe-trees.
+I do think Lee is so clever. I wish
+Uncle thought so, too. He went to
+his room, and we lunched with Uncle,
+Mr. Porter, and Mr. Porter, Jr.; and
+afterward we visited the church of the
+Bon-Secours and the monument to
+Jeanne d'Arc. She stands on top, her
+hands manacled, with her big, frightened
+eyes staring sadly and steadily out
+over the town where she met death.
+Uncle admired her so much that he
+tripped on one of the sheep that are
+carved on the steps, and after that he
+didn't admire anything or anybody.
+We got back about five, and Lee came
+in for a visit of an hour. Lee says he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span>
+had a fine voyage. It stormed, and he
+says he never was battened down with
+such a lively lot of people. Uncle came
+in twice while he was there, but Lee
+has the wardrobe by heart now, and
+doesn't take a second. He says the men
+he's going yachting with are great sport,
+and he expects to have the time of his
+life. I do wish Uncle liked Lee, so that
+he could go around with us these days;
+he would be so much fun.</p>
+
+<p>We are going to Jumièges to-morrow,
+Uncle says. Lee says he must
+take the early train for Havre. He's
+just been in to say good-by. He brought
+a cherry-tart and his shoe-horn, and we
+had ours, and so we had no trouble at
+all in eating it.</p>
+
+<p>It has raised my spirits lots, seeing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span>
+Lee. It seemed so terrible for him to
+go off to Russia like that. Uncle spoke
+of it yesterday. He said he was glad
+to have one worry off his mind and safe
+in Russia. The wardrobe squeaked
+merrily.</p>
+
+<p>Now good-by.</p>
+
+<p class = "center">Love from &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="rthead"><span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p><br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Rouen.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: Lee is gone.
+I do wish he could have
+stayed longer, but he thought
+it was risky. Uncle John was sure
+he smelt cigarette smoke in my room,
+and although it wasn't true at all,
+Edna cried and said the wardrobe
+was getting on her nerves, and Lee said
+he reckoned he'd take his button-hook
+and move on. We had an awful time
+bidding him good-by, for Uncle came
+in three times, and the second time he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span>
+had lost his umbrella and thought it
+must be in our wardrobe. I never was
+so frightened in all my life; for, you
+know, if Uncle had been hunting for
+his umbrella and had found Lee, he
+wouldn't have liked it at all. Edna
+volunteered to look in the wardrobe,
+and I know I must have looked queer,
+for Uncle asked if I'd taken cold.
+You know how much I think of Lee,
+but I couldn't help being relieved when
+he was gone. It is such a responsibility
+to have a man in your wardrobe
+so much of the time. He said that I
+must try to steer Uncle toward Brittany,
+because he'll be yachting all
+around there. He says I must mark
+places in the Baedeker with strips of
+paper. He says that's a fine way to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span>
+make any one go anywhere, and that if
+Edna and I will talk Italy and mark
+Brittany, Uncle is almost sure to wind
+up in the Isle of Jersey. Lee says he
+wishes he'd been kinder to Uncle in
+America, and then he'd like him better
+in Europe. He's afraid Uncle will
+never forgive him for taking him bobbing
+that time and dumping him off in
+the snow. It was too bad.</p>
+
+<p>We went to Jumièges to-day. Uncle
+found it in the guide-book, and we took
+an eleven-o'clock train. Mr. Porter and
+his son were late, and just had time to
+get into the rear third-class coach.
+Uncle was much distressed until we
+came to Yainville, where the train
+stopped, and they got out. Uncle
+wanted them to get in with us, and he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span>
+talked so forcibly on the subject that
+the train nearly started again before Mr.
+Porter could make him understand that
+Yainville is where you get off for Jumièges.</p>
+
+<p>I do wish it wasn't so hard to turn
+Uncle's ideas another way when he's
+got them all wrong.</p>
+
+<p>Yainville has a red-brick depot on
+the edge of a pleasant, rolling prairie,
+but there is a little green omnibus to
+hyphenate it with Jumièges. We were
+a very tight fit inside, for of course we
+could only sit in Uncle's lap, and he
+didn't suggest it, so I had to hold
+Edna; and Mr. Porter and his son
+knew Uncle well enough not to suggest
+taking her. I thought that we
+should never get there; and it was so<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span>
+tantalizing, for the country became
+beautiful, and we could only see it in
+little triangular bits between shoulders
+and hats. Young Mr. Porter wanted
+to get out and walk, but Uncle said,
+"Young man, when you are as old as
+I am, you will know as much as I do,"
+so he gave up the idea. I do believe
+we were cooped up for a solid hour before
+we finally rolled down a little bit
+of a hill into a little bit of a village,
+and climbed stiffly out into the open
+air.</p>
+
+<p>We all had to cry out with wonder
+and admiration then, it was really
+so wonderful. On one side were the
+hills, with the Seine winding off toward
+Paris; and on the other side was the
+wood, with the ragged ruins of the abbey-church<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span>
+walls towering up out of the
+loftiest foliage. Uncle thought we had
+better go and see all there was to be
+seen directly, so we walked off down
+the little road with a funny feeling of
+being partly present and partly past, but
+very well content.</p>
+
+<p>The story goes that one of the ancient
+French kings took two young princes
+of a rival house, crippled them, put
+them on a boat, and set them afloat at
+Paris. They drifted down the current
+as far as this spot, and here they were
+rescued. They founded a monastery
+in gratitude, and their tomb was in the
+church, which is now in ruins. Later
+we saw the stone, with their effigies, in
+the little museum by the gate. They
+were called "Les Deux Enervés," in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span>
+reference to their mutilation. Uncle
+thought the word meant "nervous,"
+and we heard him say to Mr. Porter,
+"Well, who wouldn't have been, under
+the circumstances?" The whole of
+the abbey is now the private property of
+a lady who lives in a nice house up over
+back beyond somewhere. She built the
+lodge, and also a little museum for relics
+from the ruins, and has stopped the
+wholesale carrying off of stones from
+the beautiful remnants of what must
+have once been a truly superb monument.
+I am sure I shall never in all
+my life see anything more grand or
+impressive than the building as it is to-day.
+It is much the same plan as the
+cathedral at Rouen, only that that has
+been preserved, and this has been long<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span>
+abandoned. It is so curious to think of
+the choir which we saw yesterday, with
+its chapels and stained glass, and then
+to compare it with this roofless and windowless
+one, out of the tops of the walls
+of which fir-trees&mdash;big ones&mdash;are growing.
+You don't know what a strange
+sensation it is to see trees growing out
+of the tops of ruined walls the foundations
+of which were laid by Charlemagne's
+relatives. Edna and I felt very
+solemn, and Uncle was quiet ever so
+long, and then only said, "I vow!" The
+grass is growing in the nave and transept,
+and the big carved pediments stick
+up through the turf here and there, with
+moss and lichen clinging to the shadowy
+sides. The rows of pillars are pretty
+even, and the set of big arches above are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span>
+mostly all there still. There were a
+third and a fourth gallery above, and
+although they are fallen away in places,
+still you can see exactly how it used to
+be. When you look away up to the
+fourth tier of columns, the main walls
+of the nave are still soaring higher yet;
+and when you follow the sky-line of
+their vastness, you see the two mighty
+towers rising, rising, straight up toward
+heaven, with the rooks whirling and
+circling about them and screaming in
+the oddest, most awfully mournful manner.
+I'm sure I shall never feel the same
+way again, not even if I live to be a
+thousand years old myself. I felt overcome;
+I felt a way that I never felt
+before. I don't know what I felt.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle was delighted; he sighed with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span>
+satisfaction. "This is the real thing,"
+he said to Mr. Porter; "I like this.
+You can see that there's been no tampering
+with <i>this</i> ruin." Mr. Porter
+looked up at the sky above and said:
+"I should say that there had been considerable
+tampering with this ruin. I
+will take my oath that the whole of the
+little town yonder was built with the
+stone taken from these walls and those
+of the monastery buildings."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs07" id="gs07"></a>
+<img src="images/gs07.png" width="450" height="450" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;There&#39;s been no tampering with <i>this</i> ruin&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Uncle is getting very nervous over
+Mr. Porter, Jr., because he walks around
+with Edna so much; so we were not
+allowed out of his sight during the visit,
+and didn't explore half as much as we
+wanted to. The little museum was
+really very interesting, and had the
+tombstone of one of Joan of Arc's
+judges. I feel very sorry for Joan's poor<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span>
+judges. They had to do as they were
+bid, and have been execrated for it ever
+since.</p>
+
+<p>We came home late in the afternoon,
+and Mr. Porter found a telegram calling
+him to Brussels on business, so he and
+his son said good-by hurriedly and took
+a half-past-six train. Uncle said at dinner
+that it was a strange thing to see
+how, after forty-five years of seeing the
+world, a man could still be the same as
+when one had to do all his sums for him
+at school. We absorbed this luminous
+proposition in silence, and then Uncle
+looked severely at Edna and said that at
+the rate that things were progressing he
+wouldn't have been surprised to have
+had a John Gilpin in the family any
+day. We were struck dumb at this
+threat or prophecy or whatever was intended,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span>
+and went meekly to bed. Edna
+had a letter from Lee and I had one
+from Harry. Lee didn't dare write me
+and Harry didn't dare write Edna because
+of Uncle. But they each sent the
+other their love.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle wants to go to Gisors to-morrow.</p>
+
+<p>P. S. I must add a line to tell you
+that Mrs. Braytree and the four girls
+have arrived. They saw Uncle on the
+stairs coming up, and all came straight
+to our room. They landed yesterday,
+and had a real good passage, only Eunice
+fell out of the berth and sprained her
+wrist. She has it in a sling. They had
+a hard time arranging about the dog, as
+the hotel didn't want him in the rooms.
+He is one of those dogs that look<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span>
+scratchy and whiny at the first glance.
+Mrs. Braytree has lost her keys, so she
+sat with us while the hotel people got
+a man to open her trunks. She says
+she's in no hurry to unpack, for she had
+so many bottles she's almost positive
+one cork at least must have come out.
+They entirely forgot to bring any hairpins
+and suffered dreadfully on shipboard
+on that account. They had trouble with
+one of their port-holes too, and Mrs.
+Braytree and Uncle are both going to
+carry crowbars at sea hereafter.</p>
+
+<p>They are going to stay here a week.
+It's so nice to meet some one from
+home!</p>
+
+
+<p class="rtxhead"> Always yours lovingly,</p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="V" id="V"></a>V</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN EN ROUTE</p>
+<br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Rouen.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">"C</span><span class="smcap">ome on</span>, girls, this is quite an
+expedition. I vow I shook a
+little when Mrs. Braytree suggested
+coming, too. Seven women to
+one man would be too many for comfort
+as a general thing; but your Uncle John
+never shows the white feather, so I only
+drew the line at the dog. Why the
+devil five women want to travel with
+one dog and eight trunks I can't see;
+but if I was Mrs. Braytree, I'd probably
+know more about it. Curious little
+creature, the cross-eyed one, isn't she?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span>
+And that Pauline&mdash;always wanting to
+be somewhere else. I told her pretty
+flatly at dinner that if she couldn't get
+any more fun out of Rouen than by
+wishing it was St. Augustine, she'd better
+have stayed in New York. Anything
+but these fault-finders.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, ain't you ready? I've sent the
+luggage along, and it seems to me that
+we ought to be following its good example.
+Lord knows, two days is enough
+to waste in an old hole like Rouen; I
+was wondering last night what we ever
+came for. I never was so cold anywhere
+in my life, and sleeping on a slope with a
+pillow on your feet isn't my idea of comfort
+at night, anyhow. I don't understand
+the moral of the scheme, and the
+pillow keeps sliding, and I keep swearing,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span>
+all night long. Also, I can't learn
+to appreciate the joy of standing on a
+piece of oil-cloth to wash. I must say
+that one needs to wear an overcoat and
+ear-muffs to wash here, anyhow. I was
+dancing under the bell-rope and ringing
+for hot water a good half-hour this
+morning. I'm going to write and have
+the asterisk subtracted from this hotel.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, come on, if you're ready.
+Whose umbrella is that getting left by
+the door? Mine? I vow, I didn't remember
+putting it down. But no one
+can think of everything. Edna, is this
+soap yours? No? Well, I just asked. I
+seem to have left mine somewhere, and
+it's live and learn. Come on! come on!</p>
+
+<p>"Good morning,
+Mrs. Braytree&mdash;Eunice&mdash;Emma&mdash;Pauline&mdash;Augusta.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span>
+I reckon we'd better be hustling along
+pretty promptly. The train doesn't go
+until five minutes after the time, if we
+don't hurry. It's truly a pleasure having
+you join us, Mrs. Braytree. A little
+excursion like this makes such a pleasant
+break in the routine of sight-seeing, I
+think, and these quaint old&mdash;there, all
+get out now, I have the money. I'll
+take the tickets; we're all full-fare,
+aren't we? Or&mdash;how old is the little
+cross-eyed one? I <i>beg</i> your pardon, Mrs.
+Braytree, but I had to know in a hurry.</p>
+
+<p>"There, come on! come on! Squeeze
+through. Se&mdash;ven women and one man.
+Hurry! we want a compartment, here&mdash;no,
+there. Run, Edna, and get ahead
+of that old lady; here's two umbrellas
+to throw crossways, and then you can<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span>
+tell her there's no room, and the law
+will uphold you. You look surprised,
+Mrs. Braytree, but I learned that little
+trick coming from Havre. I tell you,
+by the time I get to Paris I'll be on to
+every kind of game going. I learn fast&mdash;take
+to Europe as a duck takes to
+water, so to speak.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, we're off for Gisors. Great
+pleasure to have you with us, Mrs. Braytree;
+no more work to steer seven&mdash;Good
+Lord! there aren't but six here!
+Who isn't here? Edna's gone! What
+is it, Yvonne? I sent her ahead, did I?
+Oh, so I did, so I did. And of course
+she is waiting for us. Poor child! I
+hope she's not worried. As soon as we
+get out of the tunnel I'll hang out of
+the window and holler to her. Very<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span>
+convenient method of talking to your
+friends aboard, Mrs. Braytree; only I
+should think a good many would lose
+their heads as a consequence. However,
+as the majority of the heads would be
+foreigners', I don't suppose it would
+matter much in the long run.</p>
+
+<p>"Speaking of Gisors, Mrs. Braytree,
+it's really a very interesting place&mdash;according
+to the guide-book. As far as I'm
+personally concerned, I'd be willing
+to take the time to go there to learn
+how to pronounce it. The workings of
+the mind which laid out the way to speak
+French don't at all jibe with the workings
+of the mind which laid out the way
+to spell it&mdash;not according to my way of
+thinking. There's that place which
+we've just left, for instance,&mdash;'Ruin'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span>
+as plain as the nose on your&mdash;on anybody's
+face,&mdash;and its own inhabitants
+can't see it&mdash;pronounce the R in a way
+that I should think would make their
+tongues feel furry, and then end up as if,
+on second thought, they wouldn't end
+at all.</p>
+
+<p>"Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out and
+see if you see any of Edna hanging out.
+I declare, this is a very trying situation
+to be in. You don't know what a trip
+I had, Mrs. Braytree, trying to keep track
+of these girls; and since we landed&mdash;well,
+I just had to call a halt in Havre
+and come off alone. Curious place,
+Havre, don't you think? See any one
+you knew there? We&mdash;who did
+you say? Why, that can't be, he's in
+Russia. Yvonne, didn't that young<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span>
+reprobate write you he was going to
+Russia? Yes, I thought so. Well,
+Mrs. Braytree says she saw him in Havre.
+Good joke his not knowing we were in
+Rouen; he'd have been down there in
+a jiffy, I'll bet anything. But your
+Uncle John is a rather tough customer
+to handle, and I expect that young man
+knows the fact, and so thought it best to
+give Rouen a wide berth. Not that I
+have anything in particular against young
+Reynolds, only I don't consider that any
+girl could be happy with him. And
+it's foolish to have a man around unless
+you can make him happy&mdash;I mean unless
+he can make you happy. My wife was
+very happy up to the time she developed
+melancholia&mdash;a sad disease, Mrs. Braytree.
+Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span>
+and see if you can see anything of
+Edna.</p>
+
+<p>"I presume this is as good a time as
+we'll have to study up a little on Gisors.
+It seems to have been the capital of the
+Vexin. I shouldn't be surprised if
+'vex' and 'vexing' both come from that
+country, for the guide-book gives it as
+always in hot water. The French and
+English were both up against it most of
+the time, and it was vexin' with a
+vengeance. It says here that the old city
+walls are still standing and that Henry
+II built the castle. Isn't he the one we
+peeked around in Rouen? Yes, I thought
+so. It says that there's very little
+left of the castle, though. I must say
+I'm always glad when I read that there's
+not much left of anything; it gives me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span>
+a quiet, rested sort of feeling."</p><br>
+
+
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs08" id="gs08"></a>
+<img src="images/gs08.png" width="300" height="373" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;&#39;This is as good a time as we&#39;ll have to
+study up on Gisors&#39;&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Gisors.</i></p>
+
+<p>"Well, here we get out. I'll swing
+down first. If French trains were
+American, they'd have trapezes or elevators
+to&mdash;get&mdash;out&mdash;by. Here, give
+me your hand, Yvonne&mdash;oh, there's
+Edna. Well, I vow, who has she got&mdash;if
+it isn't&mdash;Yvonne, isn't that that
+young man&mdash;how d'ye do, Edgar?
+Delighted to see you again. Our friend,
+Mrs. Braytree, and all the others are her
+daughters. Come, Edna; you come
+with me while I check this trunk.
+Where in thunder did you get that fellow
+from? How does he come to be in
+Rouen? Did you know he was in Rouen?
+Did you see him while he was there?
+I declare, I never will travel with any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span>
+women again unless I am married to
+them. This is awful. Don't you know
+I'm responsible for you two girls? And
+I send you ahead to get a compartment,
+and you find Edgar&mdash;it makes
+me want to swear. Say, was there
+any one else with you? Worse and
+worse. I was afraid there was something
+wrong when we kept hanging
+out and you never hung out at all.
+Well, we'll have to go back and gather
+them all up. Yes, I'll be polite to him;
+but, Edna, I hope you understand distinctly
+that a man like that could never
+make any woman&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, Mrs. Braytree, here we are
+again; and now we'll all proceed over
+Gisors. Pretty place, don't you think?
+Picturesque. Did you ever see so many<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span>
+canals&mdash;or smell so many?&mdash;and the little
+cottages out of another century? Packed
+roofs&mdash;green trees&mdash;well-sweeps&mdash;I like
+this; I'm glad I had the sense to come
+here. Edgar, will you oblige me by
+carrying that cane so that child doesn't
+come within an ace of catching her
+mouth on it every other second? I declare,
+Mrs. Braytree, I wish we hadn't
+run on to that young man. Of course
+he's a nice fellow and all that, but young
+men are a great trial when you have
+two&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Let's turn down here. Most of the
+streets seem to be canal tow-paths. I
+vow, this <i>is</i> pretty. I could settle down
+in a place like this and live till I died.
+What do you suppose the people here
+do to amuse themselves, anyhow? From<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span>
+the way they look at us with their
+mouths open I should imagine that we
+were regarded in the light of a great
+event. And if that's the case, they must
+be pretty hard up for sport. Oh, well,
+I presume it's enough for them to paddle
+about on the green waters and stir up
+the miasma&mdash;as much sense as foreigners
+have.</p>
+
+<p>"And so these are the walls&mdash;ramparts,
+I mean. Well, they're fairly
+high. Wonder how high they are,
+anyhow? Edgar, will you do me the
+courtesy not to be pointing to the left
+with that cane of yours when I turn
+suddenly to the right again? I beg your
+pardon for seeming heated, Mrs. Braytree;
+but he really&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Let's find a gate and go in; seems<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span>
+to be a park inside. I should think there
+<i>was</i> 'little left to be seen of the castle!'
+I don't see anything at all of it. Maybe
+they took it down and built the walls
+higher just to fool tourists. Well, I
+didn't come to Gisors to caper about in
+a park; let's go out and look at the
+church&mdash;the guide-book says the church
+is worth seeing. I think there's something
+very touching about guide-book
+enthusiasm: it keeps up so consistently
+right through to the end. I feel as if
+my own enthusiasm was most run
+through now. I don't know how Paris
+will affect me. Edgar, if I trip on that
+cane you'll have to pay my doctor's bill.
+What makes you handle it as you do,
+anyway? I like to see a cane light and
+alert&mdash;not one that drags through the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span>
+world in the style of yours. To judge
+from your cane, I should say you hadn't
+been in bed before three for a month.
+I have to speak sharply to that fellow,
+Mrs. Braytree; he is about as wooden-headed
+as they make. Came across the
+ocean with us, and pestered the life out
+of me. You don't know what an ocean
+voyage is with two attractive girls&mdash;I
+<i>beg</i> your pardon; I forgot your four.
+Dear me! we were speaking of&mdash;yes&mdash;of
+Gisors, of course. I vow, I'm disappointed
+in it as a whole. I wish we'd
+gone to Les Andelys instead. Les
+Andelys is marked with an asterisk in the
+guide-book, and there's a castle there
+built by C&#339;ur-de-Lion. By the way,
+Mrs. Braytree, the C&#339;ur-de-Lion <i>itself</i>
+is buried in Rouen. Did you know that?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span>
+Nice joke, eh? But, dear, dear, if there's
+no castle here when we get here, perhaps
+there'd be none there when we got
+there. I'm beginning to look upon
+Europe as a confidence-game; I&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Well is <i>that</i> the castle! Great Scott!
+but it must have been big. It's big yet,
+and the book said there was very little
+left to see. I'm beginning to lose faith
+in that book. Picturesque idea, having
+the park hide the ruins till you come right
+smash on to them. Clever people, the
+French; make everything put the best
+foot foremost. Fine old round tower;
+nice tumble-down guard-chamber! I
+like this. Let's go around the other
+side. Great place, eh? Worth a trip to
+see. Edgar, let me have your cane to
+point with. There, do you see that old<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span>
+staircase? Looks Roman to me; what
+do you think? I tell you, a man could
+write an historical novel out of old ruins
+if he prowled long enough. Come on
+now; let's meander on down town and
+look at the church. As soon as I look
+at anything, I'm always ready to look
+at something else. Let's go out on this
+side and go back to town the other way.
+Then we'll look at the church, and then
+we'll put you and Edgar on the train
+for Rouen, Mrs. Braytree. What did
+you say, Yvonne? He isn't going to
+Rouen? Where is he going? To Paris
+with us! Well, well, well! all I can say
+is, I do admire his nerve. I never in all
+my life went where I wasn't asked, and
+took a cane. Now don't you see why
+no woman could be happy with a man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span>
+like that? I never saw the beat. I tell
+you frankly, Yvonne, I don't like his
+ways and I don't like him. If you girls
+had let him alone on the boat, he'd have
+let us alone here. I declare, my day is
+just about spoiled. Your mother has
+trusted you girls to me, and I haven't
+drawn a quiet breath since. I did take
+a little comfort there in Rouen; but if
+I'd known that Lee was in Havre,
+I'd have been on thorns even there.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, where is the church? Ask
+some one. What did she say? Down
+here? Down we go, then. Ah, I suppose
+that's it under the sidewalk. Nice
+commanding situation for a church, to
+grade a street by its tower! Why don't
+they put in the guide-book, 'Street
+commands a fine view of the roof?'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span>
+There isn't time to go inside unless
+Mrs. Braytree wants to miss her train,
+and we don't want her to do that.</p>
+
+<p>"This is the street to the <i>gare</i>, and
+we'll run right along. I expect we can
+get something to eat there, and get that
+1:30 train for Beauvais. There isn't
+anything in Beauvais that would interest
+you, Mrs. Braytree; but there's a church
+there that I want to see. The guide-book
+says that Mr. Ruskin says that the
+roof has got a clear vertical fall that not
+many rocks in the Alps can equal; I
+don't just know what a clear vertical
+fall may be, but if there's a church anywhere
+near as high as an Alp, I don't
+want to miss seeing it.</p>
+
+<p>"There's the clock. You just have
+time to get aboard comfortably. Don't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span>
+you want to go with them, Edgar?
+Well, I thought maybe you might.
+Good-by, good-by; delighted to have
+met you. Good-by. Oh, yes, of course.
+In Paris.</p>
+
+<p>"There, they're gone, darn 'em!
+Now let's get some lunch. Did you
+ever see such a collection as those girls?
+It must have been a bitter pill when,
+after managing to assimilate the looks
+of the three oldest, the little one appeared
+with her eyes laid out bias. Come
+in here; we can get something to eat
+here, I don't care what; but I want
+plenty. Don't lose your cane, Edgar;
+life wouldn't be life to you without it,
+I expect. I like these country hotel
+entrances, through a carriage-house and
+a duck-yard, fall over a cat, and come in.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span>
+Tell her we want dinner for four, and
+prompt. You put that in good forcible
+French for me, Edgar, and I'll be grateful
+to you till I die. Let's sit down.
+Let's eat."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs09" id="gs09"></a>
+<img src="images/gs09.png" width="450" height="359" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;&#39;Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt&#39;&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+<br>
+
+
+<p class= "rthead"><i>Beauvais.</i></p>
+
+<p>"Now, young people, I call this making
+a day count. This is my idea of getting
+about. Breakfast in Rouen, <a name="lunch" id="lunch"></a><a href="#luuch">lunch</a> in
+Gisors, Beauvais for a sandwich, and
+we'll dine in Paris.</p>
+
+<p>"What time is it? Three o'clock.
+Well, we want to head straight for that
+cathedral. Seems as if it ought to show
+most anywhere over a little, low town like
+this, but I don't see it. Ask someone&mdash;ask
+any one. Well, what did they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span>
+say? Right across the square. Whose
+statue is that in the middle? Joan of
+Arc? Jeanne Hachette? Who was
+Jeanne Hachette? Girl who captured
+flag from Charles the Bold, eh? Is that
+why they called him 'the Bold'? Sort
+of sarcastic on his letting a girl carry off
+his flag, I should consider. Well, when
+did she live? Has she got her year under
+her? 1492. Seventy years after Joan.
+I shouldn't have thought she'd have inspired
+other young women in this part
+of the country to emulate her.</p>
+
+<p>"Do we go up here? Ugh, how I
+hate walking over cobble-stones! Clean;
+of course they're clean. I didn't say
+that I thought they were dirty. I said
+I hated to walk on 'em.</p>
+<p>"What's that chopped-off creation
+before us? <i>Not</i> the cathedral? Well&mdash;I&mdash;vow!</p>
+
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs10" id="gs10"></a>
+<img src="images/gs10.png" width="300" height="484" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">Beauvais</span>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>"Is <i>that</i> what I&mdash;what we&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Where's the front of it? What <i>did</i>
+happen to it? And what <i>was</i> Mr. Ruskin<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span>
+thinking of when he compared it to
+an Alp! I don't want to fall off of anywhere,
+but I'd choose the roof of that
+cathedral to start from any day in preference
+to the lowest Alp they make.
+'Clear vertical fall' eh? I wish I knew
+what that meant.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, let's go in. Where's the
+door? That little, unpretentious one
+looks feasible. Come on. Well, Edgar,
+are you coming, too, or do you choose
+to stay outside with your stick? I can't
+help it, Edna; I feel irritated at his being
+here at all, and then I'm naturally
+disappointed over this church. I must
+say the biggest thing about it is that
+blank wall stopping up where they left
+off. This is the kind of thing I've
+come several thousand miles to look at,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span>
+is it? Well, may as well go in, I
+suppose.</p>
+
+<p>"So this is in the inside! Fine lot of
+carpets hung up to try and cover the deficiencies,
+eh?&mdash;High roof,&mdash;funny sort
+of shock you get whenever you look towards
+the front. Sort of like turning
+around and hitting your cane, eh,
+Edgar? Girls, this cathedral was begun
+in 1180, time of Henry II, and they
+quit in 1555 while Bloody Mary was
+abroad and never got to the front end
+in the four hundred years. Well, well!
+dear, dear!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs11" id="gs11"></a>
+<img src="images/gs11.png" width="450" height="445" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;&#39;What&#39;s that chopped-off creation before us?&#39;&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>"Come on, girls, we may as well go
+out; I feel like going to the station and
+heading for Paris. I suppose that's the
+next move in the game. You can stay
+here as long as you like, Edgar; we<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span>
+won't hurry  you.</p>
+
+<p>"Come, Yvonne, you walk with me.
+Did you ever see anything like that
+young man's gall? Your friend Lee
+couldn't make any points around him.
+Just hooks right on to us, and stays
+hooked. I declare, if I carried a cane
+I bet I'd give him one punch he'd remember
+long after. I'd sincerely beg
+his pardon. I didn't like him on the
+steamer; I've got no use for young men
+of his stamp. I&mdash;"</p><br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Gare du Nord, Paris.</i></p>
+
+<p>"So this is Paris! Now, Edgar, I
+have one favor to ask of you&mdash;will you
+kindly allow me to manage my own
+affairs while you manage yours? I
+know just what to do, and I'll take<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>
+Yvonne with me to do it. You can
+take Edna up to the hotel. Looked
+disappointed, didn't he? Counting on
+endearing himself to me forever by his
+able-bodied assistance, I'll wager; but
+I don't want any young man minding
+my business. Tell that blue blouse to
+take these checks and look up five
+trunks in a hurry. What did he say?
+We haven't got to overhaul them again
+here, have we? Well, I am&mdash;I certainly
+just <i>am</i>. Have we got to hunt
+'em up? Where? Well, ask him?
+Round back of this crazy mob? Well,
+tell him to go first. What's this
+system of wildly speculating wheat-pits?
+Baggage-counters, eh? And will you
+look at the baggage! Talk about your
+'clear vertical falls!' Those trunks on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span>
+
+top will soon know more than Ruskin
+ever did.</p>
+
+<p>"Where's our man gone? Yvonne,
+do you know where that fellow went
+to? Well, ask some one. Look out&mdash;that
+baggage truck will be Juggernauting
+right over you before you know
+it. Now, where <i>is</i> the porter? I call
+this a pretty state of affairs&mdash;porter,
+valises, and trunk-checks all gone together.
+I thought you were watching
+him or I would have done so. Do you suppose
+we ought to speak to a policeman?
+I think we ought to. But will you look
+at the trunk-unlocking that's going
+on&mdash;good as a play&mdash;look how mad
+that old lady is; hear her give it to him
+in good English. Guess something got
+broke in transit. Keep a sharp eye out<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span>
+for that porter, Yvonne. Here come
+some more trunks, and more, and
+more yet. I wonder if this is regular,
+or if we've struck a rush. Where <i>is</i>
+that porter? I think we ought to be
+speaking to a policeman, don't you?
+Here's a choice new invoice of a couple
+of thousand more trunks; that fellow
+will never be able to find ours, I know.
+Supposing he has found them and gone
+off with them already. Hey, look
+at that lady jumping up and down!
+She sees <i>her</i> trunk, I'll bet a dollar.
+Well, I'd jump up and down if I could
+see mine. Yvonne, I really think we
+ought to speak to a policeman. Could
+you give a description of the man? I
+only remember that he wore a blue
+blouse. Oh, yes; and he had 'Commissionaire'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span>
+across the front of his cap.
+Hello, here are nine trucks all at once,
+just a few million more additions to
+the turmoil. I tell you, we won't get
+out of here to-night, I don't believe.
+I vow, I wish I'd given the checks to
+Edgar, as he suggested. I really think
+we ought to be calling a policeman.
+Here are fourteen trucks all loaded to
+the gunwales, and two mass-meetings
+and one convention of tourists all at
+once. Yvonne, this is beginning to
+look serious to me; I think that really
+we ought to call&mdash;</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs12" id="gs12"></a>
+<img src="images/gs12.png" width="450" height="254" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;&#39;Look how mad that old lady is&#39;&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>"Oh, there he is with the whole of
+the stuff on one truck. Good idea;
+smart chap; and he wasn't so very long
+either, considering."</p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span>
+
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p>
+<br>
+
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Paris.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: Well
+we <i>are</i> arrived! It <i>is</i> Paris
+at last! But I thought we
+should surely die in transit. I don't
+know what Uncle would have said if
+he had known that Lee was in Rouen;
+he was dreadfully upset over Mrs.
+Braytree's telling him that she saw
+Lee in Havre. He was very unreasonable,
+and laid it up against Lee that
+Mrs. Braytree saw him. Just as if Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span>
+could help it.</p>
+
+<p>We had a pretty good time coming
+down, only Mr. Edgar came up and
+came down with us, and of course
+Uncle did not like that. I think that
+Mr. Edgar came up to come down with
+me because we had a lovely time on
+the steamer coming over together, but
+Uncle hardly gave me a chance to speak
+to him. Uncle seems just instinctively
+to know whom Edna and I want to talk
+to, and then won't let us. But of
+course I'm not complaining, for it was
+lovely of him to give us this trip, and
+we're enjoying every minute.</p>
+
+<p>We arrived last night, and the only
+drawback is that Mrs. Clary isn't here.
+She left a note, and M. Sibilet's wife <i>is</i>
+his mother, and has a place out at Neuilly,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span>
+and they were invited there for
+three days. She will be back to-morrow,
+and she left word for us to go
+straight to the Bon Marché and look at
+the white suits; so we did so. We told
+Uncle it was all right for us to go alone,
+and he had just gotten his mail, so he
+only said "Hum!" and we went. Just
+as we were taking the cab, who should
+we see but Mr. Chopstone. It was so
+lovely to see him again, and he got into
+the cab and went with us. We went
+to the Bon Marché, but it wasn't much
+fun with a man, so we came out after a
+little, and he proposed taking the Subway
+and going to the Trocadero. Just
+then we met a man that Mr. Chopstone
+knew, and he had red hair and eye-glasses.
+Mr. Chopstone introduced him,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>
+and invited him to go along; but he
+said it was no use, because it was the
+wrong day and we couldn't get in
+when we got there. By this time we
+were down in the Subway, and Mr.
+Chopstone suggested that we go to the
+Bois, so as not to have to go back up
+the stairs again. While we were talking,
+the train came and went in a terrible
+hurry, and we got aboard in between.
+After we were off, we found that Mr.
+Chopstone wasn't on. We didn't
+know what to do, because, of course, it
+was he that we knew, and not the red-haired
+man. The red-haired man said
+he would do whatever we pleased, and
+Edna thought we had better get right
+off; but I thought we ought to go right
+on. We didn't know <i>what</i> to do, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span>
+so we kept on to the Bois.</p>
+
+<p>The Bois was just lovely&mdash;all automobiles
+and babies; and who do you
+think we met? Betty Burleigh. We
+were so surprised, for I thought she was
+in California for her lungs; but it seems
+that she's been in Dresden for her music
+all winter, and now she's here for her
+clothes. She was with an elderly French
+lady, and I don't think that the elderly
+French lady liked to have her stop and
+talk to us. I thought at first that perhaps
+it wasn't proper on account of the
+red-haired man, but in a second I saw
+the real reason. Betty glanced around
+and said, "Oh, Madame, où est Fakir?"
+Whereupon the elderly French lady
+looked absolutely terrified and tore
+madly off. We had quite a long talk<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span>
+before she came back with the most
+awful little black dog, which they evidently
+had <i>no</i> string to. She put him
+down and began to look displeased
+again, and Betty just glanced about and
+said calmly, "Oh, Madame, où es
+Fakir?" He had absolutely vanished
+again, and the elderly French lady sort
+of threw up her eyes and rushed wildly
+away. The red-haired man said, "Why
+don't you buy a chain for him?" Betty
+shrugged the Frenchiest kind of a shrug
+and said, "I don't have to chase him."
+The red-haired man said, "I should
+think she would buy the chain then!"
+and Betty shrugged a much Frenchier
+shrug, and said: "I wouldn't allow it.
+While she is running after him I can
+do as I please." The red-haired man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span>
+laughed. Poor madame came panting
+up with the creature just then, and
+Betty said sweetly, "Laissez-lui courir,"
+so she had to put him down; but I
+could see that she meant to keep a
+sharp eye on him. Betty wanted us all
+to come to the Palais and lunch with
+her; but of course we refused, because
+you wouldn't have liked it, and, anyway,
+we had to go back to Uncle. She
+wanted the red-haired man to stay, anyhow,
+and was quite put out when he
+declined. Just then two men in an automobile
+came up and asked her to go
+and see the balloon ascension. They
+didn't invite the elderly French lady,
+and she protested about "comme il
+faut"&mdash;but Betty said, "Où est Fakir?"
+and, if you'll believe me, that little<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span>
+beast was gone again, and poor madame
+dashed off in pursuit. Betty made short
+work of bidding us good-by then, and
+at once got into the automobile, and
+was off.</p>
+
+<p>We came slowly along back with the
+red-haired man, and at the Arc de
+Triomphe we ran into Mr. Chopstone.
+It seems he went a station too far because
+he met some people he knew in
+the car behind us, and he says we must
+all go to the Châtelet with him to-night
+to make up. He said "Uncle, too,"
+so we accepted. Then we took a cab
+and came back to the hotel, where we
+found our beloved relative with his feet
+on the center-table, reading the Paris
+"Herald." He looked over the top at
+us and announced that he'd "done the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span>
+Louvre." I think we must have looked
+startled, for he went on to say at once that
+he knew that it was something that had
+got to be done, and that he shouldn't
+enjoy, and so he had thought it best to go
+at it the first thing on the first morning
+and get it off his mind at once. He was
+very pleased with himself, because he
+says the "Baedeker" says that it takes<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span>
+two hours and a half to walk through,
+and he was only gone from the hotel
+two hours in all. Edna asked him if he
+spent much time looking at the pictures,
+and he said: "Young lady, if you'd ever
+been in the place, you'd never ask that
+question. Why, the whole thing is
+lined with pictures. I bet I dream of
+gilt frames for a week."</p>
+
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs13" id="gs13"></a>
+<img src="images/gs13.png" width="300" height="228" alt="We found our beloved relative" title="">
+<span class="caption">We found our beloved relative</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>We had to go to lunch, and Uncle
+doesn't like the food very much; he
+says it strikes him as "flummery," and
+he is really very much vexed over Mrs.
+Clary's being at Neuilly. Edna is vexed
+because Harry is there, too, and I'm
+very much vexed indeed because she
+thoughtlessly gave Uncle the letter at
+lunch, and when he read about Monsieur
+Sibilet's wife being his mother he was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span>
+more put out than ever. He said we
+could look out for ourselves this afternoon,
+as he had to go to the bank. Edna
+suggested that we go to the Louvre, and
+he said yes, that would be wise, because
+then we would all be free to enjoy ourselves.
+Uncle speaks of the Louvre
+exactly as if it were the semiannual
+siege at the dentist's. But he was kind
+enough to offer to leave us there on his
+way to the bank, and when we took
+the cab, he arranged with the cabman
+and the hotel-porter exactly what the
+fare was to be, and held it in his hand
+the whole way.</p>
+
+<p>Edna and I were mighty glad to get
+to the Louvre without Uncle, especially
+with the way he feels to-day, and we
+were wandering along in a speechless<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span>
+
+sort of ecstacy when all of a sudden I
+heard some one calling my name. I
+whirled around, and if it wasn't Mrs.
+Merrilegs, in a state of collapse on one
+of the red-velvet benches. We went
+to her, and she took hold of our hands
+as if she'd been our long-lost mother
+for years. She looked very white and
+tired and almost ready to faint, and we
+sat down on each side of her in real
+sincere sympathy, and she held our
+hands and told us how it was. It
+seems that they left home the last of
+last month, and they've been all through
+the British Isles, Denmark, Holland,
+and Belgium, and they are going to
+finish Europe and be home the first of
+next month. She could hardly speak
+for tears. She says Mr. Merrilegs made<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span>
+out the itinerary before they sailed and
+that they have lived up to it every day
+except just one, when he ate some
+lobster crossing the Irish Sea, and they
+lost a day that night. She says they
+drive a great deal, because they can
+hardly walk any more, and that she
+doesn't believe that there will be a
+museum or palace in Europe that they
+won't be able to say that they have
+driven by when they go home. She
+said they had come to the Louvre to
+see what pictures they wanted for their
+new house, and that they never meant
+to take more than twenty minutes for
+the selection, and that they had been
+there an hour already. She felt badly
+because the itinerary had them visit
+Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower as high<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span>
+as the elevator goes, and Versailles this
+afternoon. She said they wanted to
+try and call on the American consul,
+too, to ask about a masseur. She said
+Mr. Merrilegs said he thought if they
+could get hold of a good masseur and
+keep him right with them that they
+could manage to rub through to the
+end.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs14" id="gs14"></a>
+<img src="images/gs14.png" width="450" height="371" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;She took our hands as if she'd been our long lost mother for years&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Edna and I felt dreadfully sorry for
+her; but there did not seem to be anything
+to do except look sad, and we did
+that as heartily as we knew how until
+in a minute or two Mr. Merrilegs hove
+in sight with a funny little Frenchman
+dancing round and round him. Mr.
+Merrilegs looked almost as exhausted as
+his wife, and called Edna by my name
+and me by hers. His wife asked him<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span>
+if he had ordered the pictures, and he
+said: "No; I haven't any more time
+to waste here. I've given Claretie the
+paper with the sizes of the spaces
+marked on it, and he's to go through
+and measure till he finds a famous picture
+to match each space." Mrs. Merrilegs
+sort of nodded faintly and said:
+"But we don't want any martyrs in the
+dining-room, you know," and her husband
+said, "Yes, yes, he understands;
+and he says he'll find a Susanna to fit
+your bath, too." Mrs. Merrilegs stood
+up then with a very audible groan, and
+they both shook hands with us in a way
+that quite wrung our hearts. Then they
+limped away with the little Frenchman
+spinning gaily about them, and we went<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span>
+on alone.</p>
+
+<p>In the very next room we met Mr.
+Chopstone. He was awfully glad to see
+us, and said, with our permission, he'd
+join us; but as he seemed joined anyway,
+we didn't even dream of refusing.
+He asked if we'd told Uncle about
+the Châtelet, and then we remembered
+that we had forgotten. He said he was
+so glad, because he couldn't get any
+seats except <i>baignoirs</i>, and they looked
+queer, because no one can see you. He
+asked if we would like to go to the opera
+instead, and we were just discussing it
+when we turned a corner and ran right
+on to Betty Burleigh and the red-haired
+man. His name is Potter, and, did you
+ever! They looked so upset that it can't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span>
+have been an accident, their being together.
+But how could they have arranged
+it? If they didn't arrange it,
+why did they look upset? Betty had
+on a bright green cloth dress and a
+violet hat, and the red-haired man
+heightened the general effect so much
+that we moved on as quickly as possible.
+Mr. Chopstone said very roundly:
+"You'd better fight shy of her, I
+think," and Edna said dryly: "Of him,
+too, don't you think?" I waited a
+minute, and then I said it seemed droll
+to think that if we were all English
+we'd be pleased to call poor Betty a
+typical American.</p>
+
+<p>We came home when the Louvre
+closed and found Uncle back with his
+feet on the center-table. He had had a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span>
+big fire built, for he said it gave him chills
+to look at the nymph over his bed. He
+had put in a true Merrilegian afternoon,
+having been to the Palais de Justice,
+Sainte-Chapelle, Notre Dame, and driven
+by the Hôtel de Ville and around the
+Opera House&mdash;"completely around."
+He says there won't be a thing left for
+him to look at by Monday. He says
+if he was pressed for time he'd hire a
+cab for one whole day and lump the
+business; but that, seeing that we have
+the time, it really doesn't seem necessary.</p>
+
+<p>The mail came while we were talking,
+and the most unfortunate thing
+happened. To keep up the Russian idea,
+Lee wrote two postals and sent them to
+St. Petersburg to be mailed. Uncle saw<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span>
+the Russian stamps and knew Lee's
+writing, and he asked me to kindly tell
+him how Mrs. Braytree came to see a
+man who was in Russia in Havre. Edna
+said weakly that it must have been a
+joke, and Uncle shook his watch and
+held it to his ear that way he always
+does when he's dangerous, and said he
+was in no mood for any of Lee's jokes.
+He looked very severely at me and said
+that Lee was a scalawag, and that I
+ought to be ashamed of myself for having
+him around.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clary will be back to-morrow,
+and we're very glad, for Uncle is
+awful peppery and tartary, and says
+"Hum!" when we least expect it.
+Edna sent Mr. Chopstone a <i>petit-bleu</i>,
+asking him please not to ask us to go<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span>
+anywhere to-night. Mr. Edgar sent
+me some violets, but I had time to give
+them to the chambermaid before Uncle
+came in. If I only get a chance, I shall ask
+Mrs. Clary to declare that M. Sibilet's
+mother <i>is</i> his wife, even if she knows
+it's a lie. It doesn't seem possible that
+Uncle could really care for Mrs. Clary;
+but he's so cross if she talks to any one
+else that I almost wonder if he doesn't.
+Edna is all tired out, and says she will
+cry if Uncle tells her again that any
+man isn't the man to make any girl
+happy. She says she likes men, and she
+thinks that they all make her happy.
+She wanted to go to the Châtelet in a
+<i>baignoir</i>, and she was wild to go to the
+opera in anything.</p>
+
+<p>We talk Italy and mark Brittany every<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span>
+chance we get, but Uncle says "Hum!"
+to Italy the same as he does to everything
+else these days. I'm sure I don't
+see what we'll do if he takes the rest of
+Europe as hard as he does this much.
+But of course I don't mean that we're
+not having a lovely time, and we never
+forget for a minute how kind he was to
+bring us.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Next day.</i></p>
+
+
+<p>Oh, it has been awful! How can I
+write it all!</p>
+
+<p>You see, Uncle has a little balcony,
+and the sun came out, so he did, too,
+this morning, on his little balcony.
+And he saw Mrs. Clary being brought
+back in an automobile by M. Sibilet and
+two French officers. Of course Harry
+was there, too, but that didn't mend<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span>
+matters any. In looking over, Uncle's
+glasses fell to the ground, and they were
+his comfortable ones with the rubber
+round the nose, and that part broke, too.
+Edna was taking a bath, and I had to
+stand the brunt of the whole. Uncle
+told me not to dare to fancy for a minute
+that he cared who Mrs. Clary went
+about with; but he did wish for the
+credit of America that she would steer
+clear of men like Sibilet. He was much
+put out over the French officers, too, and
+said that if he was a French officer he'd
+go and walk around Alsace until he came
+to his senses. While he was talking he
+knocked the water-pitcher over, and then
+Edna was ready to dress; so he went
+away while I sopped up the floor.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Clary came in right afterward.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span>
+She has had a splendid time, and she says
+she doesn't care what relation the old
+lady is so long as she can have them for
+friends. She has had no end of fun since
+she came from Havre, and she says it's
+a shame about Uncle. She went to a
+beautiful lawn-fête at a countess's, and
+she says I mustn't worry over Lee and
+Uncle. She rode horseback, too, and
+drove with a coach, and she says Edna
+must remember that Uncle is always peculiar
+and doesn't mean half he says.
+She went to two dinner-parties, and no
+one would believe that she was Harry's
+mother. She says I ought not to be exasperated
+over anything, because nothing
+in the world can be so exasperating as
+having a son with a moustache when
+you don't look thirty-five, and that she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span>
+doesn't let <i>that</i> worry <i>her</i>. M. Sibilet
+is going to give a dinner for her at the
+Ritz, and she's going to get a lace dress
+all in one piece, and she says it was she
+who told Mr. Edgar that we were coming
+from Rouen, and that Betty Burleigh
+is considered very fast, and that it
+won't take long for her to settle Uncle.
+I'm sure I hope so with all my heart;
+but I don't believe he'll like the idea
+of the dinner-party much. Mrs. Clary
+says Mme. Sibilet's château is a perfect
+castle, and that one of the French officers
+in the automobile was a duke. She
+says we must be patient, and Uncle will
+get used to the Continent, just as all
+American men do. She says they never
+take to it like women, though. The
+other French officer was in the ministry<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span>
+once, and counts more than any duke.
+Mrs. Clary is always so sweet and comforting,
+and she is such a nice chaperon,
+because she always has men enough herself
+never to be spiteful.</p>
+
+<p>Mr. Chopstone sent Edna back a
+<i>petit-bleu</i> that he had the box at the opera,
+and what should he do about it. Mrs.
+Clary says for us to go. She says she'll
+take care of Uncle, for she wants to
+straighten out her accounts, and she can
+just as well straighten him out at the
+same time. She gave me a long letter
+from Lee that he left with her, and she
+told Edna to go and have a nice walk
+with Harry, and she'd tell Uncle they
+were both asleep in their rooms. I declare,
+it's good to have her back. I
+feel as if a mountain was lifted off me,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span>
+and on to her. She says you never
+dreamed of such fun as she's had out
+there at Neuilly, and that it's quite absurd&mdash;my
+worrying over little things
+like Lee and Uncle.</p>
+
+<p>She talked so much that I grew quite
+light-hearted, and had early dinner and
+went off to the&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>I'll have to write the rest to-morrow.
+A boy says Uncle wants to speak to me.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Next day.</i></p>
+
+<p>I do believe Lee knows better how to
+manage Uncle than all of us put together!</p>
+
+<p>When Uncle sent for me, I saw right
+off that Mrs. Clary hadn't gotten him
+anywhere near all smoothed out. He<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span>
+looked awfully vexed, and he told me
+he was done with Paris and he was going
+to clear out at once. He said he
+knew that Edna and I wanted to go to
+Italy, but, unfortunately, he couldn't
+see it himself in that light. Then he
+paused and said "Hum!" and I waited.
+After a little he said that he'd happened
+to run across two or three things
+lately that had rather interested him in
+Brittany, and how would I like to go
+there. I was almost stunned at the success
+of Lee's scheme, and I was so
+happy that I suddenly felt as if I wanted
+Mrs. Clary and Edna to be happy, too,
+and I threw my arms right around his
+neck and said: "Oh, <i>Uncle</i>, let's go off
+together&mdash;just you and me&mdash;and have
+a real good time together, all by ourselves.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span>
+Will you?"</p>
+
+<p>I must have done it <i>very</i> well, for
+Uncle's face smoothed out at once, and
+he told me that he'd been meaning to
+give me Aunt Jane's watch ever since
+she died, only that it needed a new
+spring, and he never could remember to
+take it to the jeweler's. His face clouded
+some later, and he shook his head
+and said he wished he felt more security
+as to Mrs. Clary and Edna; but then
+he crossed his legs the other way, and
+said we only had one life to live, and
+could I be ready to start by day after
+to-morrow. I said that I was sure I
+could, and he said "Hum!" very pleasantly,
+and I went to my own room and
+told Mrs. Clary. She was so pleased;
+she says I am a saint, and that it's too<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span>
+bad for me to miss the dinner. She is
+going to wear her pink pearls, and she
+says that she will try to telegraph Lee.</p>
+
+<p>I will confess that my heart sinks a
+little bit from time to time when I
+think of trying to bear Uncle all alone
+for I don't know how long; but I have
+great faith in Lee, and I know that
+he'll be somewhere along the coast,
+and that will be a comfort.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle has been out and bought a
+Gaelic grammar and the history of the
+Siege of La Rochelle, for he says he
+wants to have some intelligent conception
+of what he sees. He wants me to
+learn the grammar, and he says, where
+he sees to everything, he should think
+I could do a little trifle like that for
+him once in a while. When he put it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span>
+that way, I thought I must try; but,
+oh, heavens! you ought to see that
+grammar!</p>
+
+<p>I will write again as soon as I can.
+Harry is going to take us all to the
+Café aux Fleurs for tea.</p>
+
+<p class="rtxhead"> Lovingly,</p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">M</span><span class="smcap">y Dearest Mama</span>: We
+are <i>en route</i>! We left Paris
+at the cheerful hour of 7
+<span class="smcap">a.m.</span> yesterday morning. No one was
+up, and there was another train at half-past
+nine, but Uncle said that, considering
+the work that lay before us, we had
+better not begin by dawdling. I do
+think there is a happy medium between
+rising at five and "dawdling," but of
+course I didn't tell him so.</p>
+
+<p>Edna sat up in bed and kissed me
+good-by. She and Mrs. Clary looked
+upon me as a cross between the saver of
+the situation, and a burnt offering on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span>
+Uncle's altar; but they were all happy,
+and I didn't care&mdash;much.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle mapped out the route, and, as
+a result, we got down at Chartres about
+half-past nine. He put the baggage in
+<i>consigne</i>, and then looked about with the
+air of a charger who sniffs the battle afar.
+I stood beside him, feeling like Mazeppa
+just before they let the horse
+loose.</p>
+
+<p>The outlook from the station is not
+very attractive, and the first thing that
+Uncle said was that he didn't believe it
+was worth while stopping at all, and
+that he had a good mind to go on with
+the train; but just at that instant the
+train went on by itself, so we did not
+need to discuss the subject.</p>
+
+<p>You see there is a high ridge that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span>
+runs in front of the station, and Chartres
+is on the other side. Nearly all the
+towns here seem to be quite a little
+ways from the railway stations. Mr.
+Edgar says it's because the railroads
+run after their passengers in Europe
+instead of running over them, as they
+do in America. Uncle says it's very
+inconvenient, anyhow, and he pulled
+his hat down hard and said, "Well,
+let's have a look at the cathedral, anyway."</p>
+
+<p>So we stormed the ridge forthwith,
+and spread down into the flat country
+beyond. As we descended the slope,
+Uncle began to be glad he had come.
+Chartres is very modest and mainly one
+story high, so the Cathedral towers
+aloft in a most soul-satisfying manner.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span>
+Uncle said it was "Something like."
+I was ever so glad that he felt so because
+he said in Beauvais that something
+he had read had led him to expect
+that the cathedral there would
+be big enough to hold the Bartholdi
+Statue of Liberty in one of its niches,
+and of course he was horribly disappointed,
+as a consequence.</p>
+
+<p>We walked straight to the cathedral,
+and it was so big that Uncle thought
+we had better each take one side and
+meet behind, "so as to save time and
+not miss anything." I acquiesced, because
+I mean to keep him good-tempered,
+if keeping good-tempered myself
+and acquiescing will do so.</p>
+
+<p>We started "fair" in front of the
+middle front door, and I could hardly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span>
+keep a straight face as we walked
+promptly and solemnly off in opposite
+directions. The cathedral is enormous
+and just covered with carving, and I was
+only part way down the side when I
+saw Uncle coming around the corner,
+swinging his umbrella in the briskest
+sort of manner. He looked absolutely
+disgusted when he saw me, and said in
+the most injured tone imaginable,
+"You must have been stopping to
+look!"</p>
+
+<p>He wouldn't hear to my continuing
+my tour of circumnavigation, so we
+went inside at once, and there I held
+the guide-book and read the explanation
+while he kept up a running contradiction
+of everything I read. I don't
+see the good of Uncle's carrying a guide-book,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span>
+for he says they needn't suppose
+he doesn't know better than most of it.</p>
+
+<p>There is a wonderful carved marble
+screen around the altar, and a sacred
+statue with a yellow satin dress on; but
+being inside made Uncle want to be
+outside right away, so we left very
+quickly, and then he studied the Baedeker
+just long enough to let me notice
+how all the Roman noses on the kings
+and saints outside had been turned into
+Eskimo noses by the rains of centuries;
+and then he suddenly shut it, and said
+we would go right straight off then and
+there and see the famous enamels that
+Diane de Poitiers gave Henry II. He
+explained to me that this wasn't the
+English Henry II, but the French
+Henry II, and then he asked me which<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span>
+of us had the luggage-checks, and if I
+had noticed whether the train went at
+eleven or half-past. I must say it is
+like doing multiplications in your head
+to travel with Uncle, but of course I
+enjoy it, and the walk to St. Peter's
+Church was very pleasant, through
+quaint streets and along by little canals
+like those at Gisors.</p>
+
+<p>The church was open, and open in
+more ways than one, for they were
+tearing up the whole floor to put in a
+furnace and grave-stones and pick-axes
+were leaning up against the columns
+everywhere. There wasn't a soul to
+be seen, and Uncle was so happy to be
+able to poke about unconcierged for a
+while that I sat down and let him
+desecrate around with his cane until he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span>
+came to with a start and asked me what
+I supposed we came to Chartres for,
+anyway. I got up at that, and we went
+to look at the enamels, which are in
+behind a locked balustrade and have
+curtains hung in front of them besides.
+We had to get a woman to unlock the
+gate and draw the curtains aside and
+explain which enamel was which
+Apostle; and uncle was very much put
+out over their being apostles at all. I
+don't know what he expected in a
+church, but he said he never thought
+about the church; he only thought
+about Diane de Poitiers. He says he
+doesn't think it was in good taste her
+having anything to do with the apostles,
+and then he read in the book again and
+found he'd made a mistake, and it was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span>
+the king who gave them to her, and not
+she who gave them to the king, and
+that used him all up, and he said he
+wished that he had never come.</p>
+
+<p>I saw that we should have to have
+something to eat right off, so I said I
+was hungry and Uncle said that was just
+like a woman, but to come on. We
+found a small restaurant and had a very
+good lunch, and then Uncle said if I felt
+satisfied he would take it as a personal
+favor if we could go on to Dreux. I
+do wish he wouldn't put everything
+just that way when I really haven't
+done anything; but he looked at his
+watch and found that the time before
+when he had looked at it he had looked
+at it wrong and that we had barely ten
+minutes to make the train. As a matter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span>
+of fact, the train was going then, but
+they don't go until ten minutes after in
+France, so when you miss a train you
+always have ten minutes left to make it.
+We took a cab, and Uncle made the
+man understand that if he hurried it
+would pay; so we galloped madly over
+the ridge and just got aboard in time to
+learn that Uncle had left his cane in the
+cab and that we'd forgotten our luggage
+in <i>consigne</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Of course the ride was rather gloomy,
+because there was almost no way to lay
+the blame on me; but after a while
+Uncle asked me if I really ever did see
+such a rank idiot as M. Sibilet, and he
+felt better after that. We reached Dreux
+about two o'clock, and I telegraphed
+back about the luggage while Uncle
+looked up a train for Argentan and set
+his watch by the railway time. He<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span>
+told me that the train that he had
+decided on left at 3:04 and that we
+could make it and see the mausoleum
+"easy." I never contradict Uncle, because
+it doesn't do any good and does
+upset him awfully, so I went with him
+to get the cab, and wondered how long
+a mausoleum usually took to examine.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs15" id="gs15"></a>
+<img src="images/gs15.png" width="300" height="523" alt="Dreux" title="">
+<span class="caption">Dreux</span></div>
+
+<p>It seems that there are no cabs in
+Dreux!</p>
+
+<p>I thought that that would end the
+mausoleum, but Uncle merely swept his
+eyes over the prospect and said we'd
+have to walk, and walk pretty prompt.
+It was 2:10, and we walked fast. The
+mausoleum is on top of a hill, and Uncle
+said we could catch our breath after we
+got to the top. We never spoke a word
+going up. I knew that I was too young<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span>
+to die of heart-disease, so I didn't care,
+if he didn't.</p>
+
+<p>It was a terrible climb, but we reached
+there at 2:32. It's the mausoleum of the
+Orléans family, and is modern. There
+is a concierge who takes you around, and
+we followed him, Uncle with his watch
+in his hand and going on like this:
+"2:40&mdash;tomb of the king's mother, eh?
+Fine old lady! 2:41&mdash;tomb of the Duc
+d'Aumale; good face, handsome decorations
+on his bosom, stained-glass windows&mdash;all
+made at Sévres, eh? 2:43&mdash;"
+etc. You can imagine!</p>
+
+<p>But what you can't imagine is the
+sublime and peaceful beauty of all those
+exquisite marble people sleeping there
+under the slanting rainbow sun-rays of
+the magnificent windows. They affected<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span>
+me so deeply that, in spite of Uncle, I
+could hardly keep back the tears. They
+didn't seem living and they didn't
+seem dead; I don't know what they
+were like&mdash;spirits made visible, perhaps.
+The Duchesse d'Orléans has her arm
+stretched across, so that it touches her
+husband, who was the eldest son of
+Louis Philippe. The king himself
+stands upright in the midst of them all,
+and Queen Marie Amélie kneels at his
+side in a beautiful pose. Two precious
+little babies are sculptured together on
+one tomb, and all the while we were
+going about, the place resounded with
+the echoes of the chisels that were preparing
+a place for the Prince Henry
+who was killed in Africa.</p>
+
+<p>I could have stayed there hours,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span>
+wrapped up in the mystery and wonder
+of it all, but Uncle fell down some steps
+while he was looking at his watch, and
+we departed forthwith. He said we
+must walk fast, and so again we walked
+fast. Of course it was easier, though,
+going down-hill, and I said, when we
+were near enough not to be anxious
+any more, "It was worth seeing, wasn't
+it?" To which Uncle replied: "Yes,
+if you enjoy that kind of thing; but all
+I could think of was the idea of spending
+such a lot of money on statues and
+then not having any cabs at the depot."</p>
+
+<p>There was no time to get anything
+more to eat at the moment, so I just
+held my tongue until we were safely on
+the train again.</p>
+
+<p>We reached Argentan at 6:15 <span class="smcap">p.m.</span>,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span>
+and I felt as if I'd been running Uncle,
+or, rather, running with Uncle, for a
+month.</p>
+
+<p>The next morning we were called at
+seven, and I really thought that I could
+not get up at first; but, I made it at the
+third try, and Uncle and I were out
+"seeing Argentan" at eight. At half-past
+he declared that there was really
+nothing to see, so we went to the <i>gare</i>,
+and he bought a Paris "Herald." As
+we were sitting there waiting for the
+8:04 train to Coulib&#339;uf, in came Elfrida
+Sanders and her sister with bicycles. I
+was <i>so</i> astonished, and Uncle was rather
+pleased, too. They are doing Normandy
+on wheels, and they have their tools and
+a kodak and a small set of toilet-things
+and four clean collars all tied on to them.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span>
+Elfrida says they've had a lovely time&mdash;only
+broken glass once, and rain two
+days. The sister is going to write a
+book and call it "Two on a Trot." I
+think that's a funny name for a bicycle
+story. Uncle said to call it "Two on a
+Tire"; but you know how stupid Elfrida
+is, and so she said, "Oh, but
+it's not a tandem." They were going
+to Coulib&#339;uf, too, but we couldn't go
+together because they were traveling
+third-class. Elfrida says they are seeing
+Europe nicely on less than a dollar a
+day, and Uncle said "Great Scott!"</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs16" id="gs16"></a>
+<img src="images/gs16.png" width="450" height="347" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a
+dollar a day, and Uncle said &#39;Great Scott!&#39;&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>While we were on the train it began
+to rain and then it poured. Uncle became
+very gloomy and said that is just
+what we might have expected. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span>
+didn't expect rain, and I didn't see
+why I should have expected it, so I
+only nodded. Uncle didn't like my
+nodding, and said I shouldn't take
+such a pessimistic view of life at my
+age. While he was talking I suddenly
+remembered the umbrella and asked
+him where it was, and he had left it in
+Argentan! Then there was no more
+conversation.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs17" id="gs17"></a>
+<img src="images/gs17.png" width="300" height="428" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">Falaise</span>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>We had to change cars at Coulib&#339;uf,
+and we reached Falaise about noon.
+Elfrida and her sister got right on to
+their wheels and bumped gaily away
+over the cobblestones at once. The
+rain was over and the sun was shining,
+but Uncle said he had lost all faith in
+France and wanted to buy another
+umbrella the very first thing. We<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span>
+went to a store, and he said to buy a
+cheap one, as I would be sure to lose
+it. I asked for a cheap one, but the
+woman was quite indignant and said that
+she did not keep any cheap umbrellas&mdash;that
+the lowest she had was two
+francs&mdash;forty cents. I had to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span>
+translate it to Uncle, and he was so
+amused that he bought one for three
+francs and gave a franc to her baby
+that was tied in a high chair by the
+window.</p>
+
+<p>Then we took a cab to the castle
+and paid the man at the entrance and
+let him go. There is a lovely sloping
+road that follows the curve of the outer
+wall up to the summit of the hill, and
+we forgot how tired we were in thinking
+how pretty it was. These old
+castle enclosures are all so big. This
+one contains a college at one end, and
+then there is quite a wood which you
+must walk through before you come to
+the castle itself at the other end.</p>
+
+<p>The castle is wonderful. It is splendid
+and big and old and strong and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span>
+Norman. It is built out of the red
+rock, and it has oubliettes and wells and
+pits and towers and everything of the
+kind that heart could wish to see. We
+saw the room where Prince Arthur
+was imprisoned for seven years and the
+room where William the Conqueror
+was born. It's a very little room in
+which to have had such a wonderful
+thing happen.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs18" id="gs18"></a>
+<img src="images/gs18.png" width="450" height="438" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;Paid the man at the entrance and let him go.&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Uncle enjoyed the castle immensely;
+he took the deepest interest in every
+inch of it, and when the concierge
+showed us the window from which
+Robert the Devil first saw Arlette, he
+planted himself firmly inside it and I
+almost thought that he was going to
+stay there forever. My feet ached so
+that I was glad enough to lean up anywhere<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span>
+for a minute, and I honestly
+believe that it was ten before he
+moved. Then he gave himself a little
+shake and said: "Well to think of
+owning this place, and being able to
+stand in a window as high up as that
+one, and then to look down as far as
+that well is, and then only to need to
+say, 'Bring her up!' and to know she'd
+got to come! Great Scott! No wonder
+their son conquered England. I'm
+only surprised that he didn't wipe
+Europe off the face of the continent!"
+Then he shook his head for quite a
+little while, and we got under way
+again and went to Talbot's Tower.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 380px;">
+<a name="gs19" id="gs19"></a>
+<img src="images/gs19.png" width="380" height="568" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;The coming down was awful&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>It's high, and Uncle wanted to climb
+it. I didn't mind his climbing it, but
+he wanted me to climb it, too, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span>
+some one was ringing the bell, so the
+concierge had to leave us and go back
+before anything was settled. Uncle said
+it was rather hard when he was doing
+so much to try and finish me up (he
+meant "finish me off," I think), for
+me to be so lukewarm about being
+finished so I started in to climb, although
+my knees felt like crumpled
+tissue-paper. <a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a>The steps were so worn
+that it was awful work and Uncle
+would go up as far as anyone could.
+He had the umbrella and I had the
+candle and often we had to step two
+and even three steps at once. When
+we came to the place where the steps<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span>
+ended, he stood and peeked out of a
+window (imagining himself Lord Talbot,
+I reckon&mdash;) and then we started
+back. The coming down was awful,&mdash;I
+was honestly frightened. Uncle went
+first and I stepped on his coat twice
+and spilt candle-grease on his hat.
+Uncle found it easier coming down
+than going up, and it wasn't until we
+reached the bottom that we discovered
+that the reason why was because he had
+left the umbrella behind and so had
+two hands to hold on by. I said,
+"Never mind, it only cost sixty cents";
+but he was not to be comforted, and
+said bitterly, "You forget the franc that
+I gave her baby." I would have gone
+back for it, but I felt so hot and tired.</p>
+
+<p>We came to Caen this noon, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span>
+went to bed, and I don't believe we
+shall ever get up again. Uncle said
+that with my kind permission he would
+suggest that I should not disturb him,
+and heaven knows that I have no desire
+to. I telegraphed Mrs. Clary about
+mail, and then I went to sleep and I
+slept until just now.</p>
+
+<p>I never was so near dead in all my
+life; but you mustn't think for a
+minute that I'm not having a lovely
+time, for I am, and it was so kind of
+Uncle to bring me. Now good-by,
+and with much love,</p>
+
+<p class="rtxhead"> Yours,&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+<blockquote><div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The author begs the reader's
+lenient consideration as to this description
+of Talbot's Tower. The story was written from
+notes taken five years ago, since which time
+the tower has undergone a thorough restoration.</div></blockquote><br>
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN PARALYZED</p>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">"C</span><span class="smcap">ome in</span>! Come on! Well,
+don't you hear? Can't you
+understand any&mdash;Oh, it's you,
+child. I thought it was one of those
+darned waiters.</p>
+
+<p>"Sit down; pull up a chair by the bed.
+It's so long since I sent for you that I
+just about thought that you were not
+coming. I suppose you were surprised
+at my sending for you; but it was the
+only way to do. It's a hard thing to
+break to you, Yvonne; but you'd have
+to know in the course of the day, and I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span>
+always do everything right off that I've
+not decided to wait and see about. Now
+don't look frightened, my dear; nobody's
+<i>dead</i>&mdash;it's only that I'm paralyzed!</p>
+
+<p>"There, what do you think of that?
+Yes, it's true for a fact. My legs! I
+had some premonitory symptoms yesterday
+going up that cursed old tower, and
+I had some very advanced ones coming
+down from it; and this morning, when
+I started to shave, the truth just burst
+in my face. Now, don't try to say anything,
+for I've read too many patent-medicine
+advertisements not to recognize
+paralysis when I feel it up and down the
+back of my own legs. I'm not the
+man not to know my own feelings, and
+I want to tell you that when I got up<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span>
+this morning I couldn't stand up, and
+then, after I stood up, I couldn't sit
+down; and if that isn't a clear case of
+having completely given out, I don't
+know what you would call it.</p>
+
+<p>"Now, my dear, the question is,
+what's to be done? Of course our
+travels have come to a full stop, for I
+shall probably never walk again. The
+curious thing is that I don't feel any
+particular inclination ever to walk again.
+You've no conception of the sentiments
+that I feel in my legs; but if you roll the
+fatigue of a lifetime into either the left
+or the right, you can get some faint
+inkling of the first freshness of paralysis.
+I tell you, Yvonne, it is awful. Every
+cobblestone I've gone over seems to be
+singing in my calves; but that's neither<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span>
+here nor there. What I want you to
+do is to go to the pocket of my valise
+get out the cable-code book and look
+out a word that means 'Both legs paralyzed.
+What shall I do with the girls?'
+You'll find a word that means it, if you
+look long enough. They've got forty
+pages of words that mean every fool
+thing on earth from 'It's a boy' to 'Impossible
+to lend you ten dollars.' I was
+reading it over in Paris the other day
+while I waited for my money at the bank.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, ain't you going to get the
+code-book? I don't want to be impatient,
+but I want some one to be doing
+something. You don't know how restless
+it makes me to think of lying still
+for the rest of my life. While I was
+waiting for you, I was thinking that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span>
+probably I shall live right here in Caen
+till I die. I'm very glad we got here
+too late to see anything, because now I
+can take it bit by bit and drag it out
+through my remaining days. I shall
+have a wheeling-chair and a man to push
+me around, and&mdash;well, maybe it's in
+the little outside pocket. I know I had
+it in Paris, anyhow; I remember I was
+just reading that 'salsify' means 'Your
+mother-in-law left by the ten o'clock
+train,' and that 'salsifry' means that she
+didn't, when they brought me my
+money, and I was free to go.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs20" id="gs20"></a>
+<img src="images/gs20.png" width="450" height="435" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;&#39;I&#39;m happy that it will be out of the question for me ever
+to travel again.&#39;&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+
+<p>"Well, now you've got it. I thought
+maybe it would be in the little valise all
+the time. Seems to me the sicknesses
+begin with 'Salt.' I remember 'Saltfish'
+means 'have got smallpox; keep<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span>
+away,' and 'Saltpetre' means 'have got
+a cold; come at once.' You look along
+there and find 'paralysis.' I'll just keep
+quiet while you're looking. I'd better
+be learning to keep quiet. Keeping
+quiet must be the long suit of the paralyzed,
+I should fancy. But you see
+what it is now to be an optimist.
+Here's my life practically over all of a
+sudden, and, instead of being blue, I'm
+as cheerful as a cricket. No need of
+fussing over the candle-grease on my
+hat now, for I shall never wear a hat
+again, I shall wear a soft felt tied over
+my ears with a plaid shawl as they
+always do in rolling-chairs; as for the
+umbrella, I'm actually glad I left it.
+It would only have been an aggravation
+to have seen it lying around. But all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span>
+the same I can't see why you didn't
+notice it lying down there. It must
+have been in plain sight,&mdash;I remember
+pointing over at Mont Mirat with it,
+and saying the rock looked as if it had
+been dropped there from above. Yvonne,
+I tell you when I think of all we did
+these last two days I feel perfectly content
+to be paralyzed. I'm glad to think
+that I've got such a good excuse to stay
+right in bed; I'm happy that it will be
+out of the question for me ever to travel
+again. I feel as if I've traveled enough
+to last me forever; I actually don't want
+to see anything more. No more catching
+trains and climbing castles for your
+Uncle John&mdash;not in his life. You can
+put the Baedeker in the fire right now&mdash;I
+never want to see a red cover or a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span>
+green string or an index again as long as
+I live. What's that? No, I sha'n't
+want it to look over and recall things by;
+I can recall more than I want to just by
+the way I feel. I don't need any guide-book
+to remember what I've been
+through since I left Paris. I remember
+too much. I remember so much that
+I am rejoiced to think that muscles over
+which I have no control will prevent my
+having to go out to-day and see anything
+else. It seems a little hard to
+think of having sight-seen so hard that
+you never want to see another sight, but
+I'm perfectly content. And I don't
+want a doctor, either; I've no faith in
+French doctors. It would be just like
+one to hypnotize me and set me going
+again, and I don't want to go. I want<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span>
+to lie right here, and I thank the Lord
+that I have money enough to allow me
+to lie here forever, if I feel like it. I
+was thinking this morning what a horrible
+existence a tramp must lead&mdash;always
+going on to new places. Thank
+Heaven, I can just settle down in this
+old one and stay on indefinitely. I want
+you to go down to the office and ask
+what rate they'll make for this room
+by the year. I want this same room
+right along. It's the first restful spot
+I've struck since my trunk went smash
+into that ship. Yvonne, did you notice
+the way they handled those trunks when
+we landed&mdash;as if they were eggs? I tell
+you, the baggage system at home is a
+burning disgrace. That's one reason I
+like Europe so&mdash;it's quiet and peaceful.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span>
+I heard some goats go by this morning;
+I'd like to know a hotel in America
+where you can listen to a goat. And
+then that wallpaper, what a tranquil
+pattern&mdash;a basket of sunflowers upside
+down alternately with a single palm upside
+up! What a contrast to the paper
+on that room I sailed from! It looked
+more like snakes doing physical culture
+than anything else.</p>
+
+<p>"Yvonne, I was thinking it all over
+as I lay here this morning waiting for
+you, and the truth is, we've been traveling
+too fast. I wanted you to see all
+there was to see, and I overlooked myself
+completely. Don't feel badly, child,
+because I know you never meant it; but it
+<i>is</i> the truth, and, as a consequence,
+here I lie paralyzed. Yes,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span>
+we've been traveling too fast. It's the
+vice of the American abroad; it's the
+terrible secret drain upon the strength
+of our better classes. We come over to
+rest, and if we don't do two countries
+a week we feel we've wasted our
+money. The idea of leaving Paris in
+the morning and doing Chartres and
+Dreux and getting to Argentan that
+night! Why, Hercules himself would
+have been used up. And then that
+castle at Falaise. But I'm not sorry
+that I went to Falaise. No, I'm not
+sorry. Yvonne, there was something
+about that castle that I'll never get
+over. I tell you those were the days
+to live in! I was thinking about it
+while I was waiting for you this morning.
+Will you consider what it must<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span>
+have been to put on a suit that you
+couldn't be punched through, and then
+get out with an ax that faced two ways
+and have full freedom to hack at people
+you hated. I tell you, child, I should
+have been one of those who barricaded
+themselves behind the dead bodies they
+had killed and kept right on firing over
+the top. And to-day my armor would
+be hanging up somewhere all full of
+dents and rusty blood-stains, and I'd be
+a sight in some cathedral with your
+Aunt Jane wearing a funnel and an
+accordion beside me. We'd both be
+in marble, of course, some worn by
+time and some chipped by tourists&mdash;ah,
+well!</p>
+
+<p>"Can't you find anything suitable in
+that code-book? Here, I've been<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span>
+waiting a quarter of an hour for you to
+hunt&mdash;hand me the book. I remember
+'Shell' is 'have broken my left leg,'
+and 'Shell-fish' is 'have broken my
+right leg,' and 'Shawl' is&mdash;wait a bit&mdash;keep
+still, Yvonne; no one in the
+wide world can study a code and listen
+at the&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Oh, well, I'll leave it till to-night.
+Not that I'm irritated at your interruption,
+for I never let anything ruffle
+me, and when you write home the
+first thing I want you to tell your
+mother is that being paralyzed has not
+changed me one particle. Same even
+disposition, same calm outlook on life,
+same disinclination to ever bother anyone.
+I want you to make them understand
+in particular how cheerful I am.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span>
+Some men would turn cynical at
+waking up paralyzed, but not me. I
+feel as if I might get about quite a
+little in Caen, maybe even get to
+Falaise again some time; but you can
+bank on one thing, and that is that if I
+ever go back to Falaise I won't go up
+that tower again. I was wondering
+this morning as I lay here waiting for
+you how in thunder you were holding
+that candle to spill so much grease on
+my hat. You can't say that you didn't
+know I was there, for every second
+step you took your foot hit me in the
+small of the back. You ought to have
+gone first, anyhow. I know the rule
+is for a man to go first going down a
+staircase, but I don't call that business
+we were on any staircase; it was more<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span>
+like a series of cascades with us forming
+the merry, leaping, part. I tell you
+what, Yvonne, the next time it's up to
+your Uncle John to play the chamois
+that springs from crag to crag over an
+old middle-aged staircase while his niece
+pours candle-grease on his hat, you can
+excuse me.</p>
+
+<p>"What I like is clean, open-to-the-day-light
+ruins like that old one at
+Jumièges! No peril, no anxiety&mdash;all
+on a level, and time to look up at what
+wasn't. I tell you, I wouldn't have
+missed seeing Jumièges for anything.
+I was thinking this morning as I lay
+here waiting for you that I have a good
+mind to write a book about my travels,
+and that when I do I shall have the
+frontispiece, me in front of Jumièges.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span>
+I could take an artist down there on
+purpose, and while he wasn't doing
+me, I could look it all over again.
+Maybe I could go there alone with a
+kodak and get a satisfactory frontispiece,
+only those rocks were so thick that
+most people would think it was a defective
+plate. I shouldn't like to have
+them think that, for if I was going to
+have a book at all, I should have it in
+good style&mdash;gold edges, bevel-plate, and
+so forth, don't you know. I'd like to
+write a book about Europe, I vow. I
+haven't been here very long, but I'll
+swear I know ten times more than any
+book ever tells. It never said a word
+in Baedeker about there not being any
+cabs at Dreux, or about the condition
+of those steps in Talbot's Tower, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span>
+such things ought to be known. It's
+all right to make light of perils past,
+but those steps were too dark for me to
+ever make light of in this world. Up
+toward the top where we had to sit
+down and stretch for the next one&mdash;you
+remember?&mdash;I must own that I was
+honestly sorry I came.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, my child, it must be nearing
+noon, and I feel like taking a nap before
+dinner. Suppose you go in and
+write to your mother and Mrs. Clary.
+After your mother gets the cable, she'll
+naturally be anxious for details, and she
+won't want to wait longer than ten
+days to know all. I wish you'd ring
+and tell them to bring me some hot
+water before you go; tell them I want
+it in a pitcher. Make them understand<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span>
+a pitcher. They brought it last
+night in a sort of brass cylinder, and I
+couldn't get the thing open anyway&mdash;had
+to use it for a hot-water-bag in bed
+in the end. It worked fine for that.
+Never cooled off all night, in fact, I
+couldn't put my feet against it till
+morning.</p>
+
+<p>"There, now, you go on and leave
+me to sleep. You haven't the faintest
+idea of how used-up I feel. Don't
+forget to write your mother how cheerful
+I am; don't forget the hot water.
+I'll send for you when I want you.
+There&mdash;there&mdash;I'm all right, child,
+don't you worry. Just pull the curtains
+and let me sleep."</p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p>
+<br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Caen.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: We are still
+there, and I'm so happy
+Uncle is in bed, and at first
+he thought he was paralyzed, but now he
+says he's only refusing to take chances.
+It's so nice having him in bed, because
+Lee is here, and Uncle makes it all
+right without knowing anything about
+it. It was yesterday that he thought
+he was paralyzed; he sent for me before
+I was awake to tell me. I was so
+dreadfully stiff and lame that I thought
+at first that I could not get up; but of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span>
+course I did, and went to him as soon
+as I could. He told me that he was
+paralyzed, really paralyzed; but I wasn't
+frightened, because, when he explained
+his feelings, I knew every one of them,
+and of course I knew that I wasn't paralyzed.
+Only when he rolled around
+upon his pillows and said he certainly
+would end his days right here in Caen,
+I couldn't help wishing that he had
+left me to enjoy my pillows, also.</p>
+
+<p>But he wanted to talk, so I listened
+for ever so long; and then he wanted to
+sleep, so I came away to write you, and
+there was a note from Lee in my room.
+He was down-stairs waiting, and I went
+right down, and my, but it was good to
+see him! I didn't kiss him, because it
+was a hotel parlor, even if we don't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span>
+know any one in Caen; but I told him
+about Uncle, and he said it was fine and
+that he hoped he would be in bed a
+week, but no such luck. The yacht
+has broken a thumb-screw, or whatever
+it is on a yacht, and they have all come
+here to meet some automobile people.
+Lee looks real well; he says he's had
+no end of fun lately, and that it is a
+shame I can't go, too.</p>
+
+<p>While we were talking, Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley
+came in. I didn't know
+that she was in Europe, and Lee was
+dreadfully put out for she sat right down
+and asked all about us. Lee explained
+that he was here with a yacht and that
+I was here with Uncle; but she didn't
+seem to believe us, and shook her head,
+and asked about Mrs. Clary. She said<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span>
+Mr. Chigley was here, too, and they
+have seen a monument in the cemetery
+here that is just what they want for
+Mr. Catherwood. She says Mr. Catherwood
+was so clear-cut and Doric in
+his ideas that it has been very hard to
+find the right thing. She said Mr.
+Chigley was out making a sketch of the
+monument then. She says Mr. Chigley
+is devotion itself to Mr. Catherwood's
+memory, and cabled a beautiful wreath
+on his wedding anniversary and palms
+tied with purple the day he died. She
+said she was very happy, and Mr. Chigley
+just loves to hear her tell stories
+about Mr. Catherwood by the hour.
+Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning,
+and I know she didn't like it by the
+way she looked at him. It was awfully<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span>
+trying to have her just then, because, of
+course, there's no telling how long
+Uncle will stay paralyzed. We really
+thought she would stay until lunch-time,
+but Lee yawned so that she went at last.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs21" id="gs21"></a>
+<img src="images/gs21.png" width="450" height="355" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;Lee was awfully rude and
+kept yawning, and I know she didn&#39;t
+like it by the way she looked at him.&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Lee said that we ought to join them
+in the touring-cars and do Brittany that
+way, but he didn't like to tackle Uncle.
+He says Uncle is a very tough proposition,
+because he is so devilish observing,
+and he never begged my pardon for
+saying it, either. Of course Uncle
+brought me, and I must do as he wishes,
+but I do wish that he liked Lee. Lee
+says he wishes he liked him, too; he
+says it would be so devilish convenient
+just now, and he didn't beg my pardon
+that time, either.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs22" id="gs22"></a>
+<img src="images/gs22.png" width="300" height="404" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">Caen</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>I ran up, and Uncle was still asleep,
+so I had lunch with Lee at the table
+d'hôte. Mr. Chigley and Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley
+sat opposite, and she does look
+so funny with her wedding-rings
+and engagement-rings alternating on the
+same finger. Mr. Chigley said he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span>
+should call on Uncle, and Lee and I
+were frightened to death until I remembered
+that Uncle wouldn't be able to
+read the card or understand the waiter
+without me. After luncheon I ran up
+again, and Uncle was still asleep, so we
+went out to walk. We had a lovely
+walk, and never looked at a sight, and
+when we came back I ran up again,
+and Uncle was still asleep; so Lee and
+I sat down in the parlor, and we were
+just going to be so happy when Pinkie
+and Bunnie Clemens came in. Well,
+really, I hardly knew either, they have
+changed so, and Pinkie has a beard and
+Bunnie is over six feet high. They are
+on a bicycle tour with eight men, and
+they saw Elfrida and her sister yesterday,
+headed for Bayeux. Pinkie says<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span>
+it's been such bad weather they've
+had to tie umbrellas and waterproofs to
+them, too. He says Elfrida looks half-witted,
+and her sister looks like a full
+idiot. I was so glad that I had on a
+Paris frock. They wanted me to go to
+the theater with them, but of course I
+couldn't, for I couldn't be sure about
+Uncle's staying paralyzed.</p>
+
+<p>He slept till eight o'clock last night,
+and then he had dinner and went right
+to sleep again, so I could have gone to
+the theater after all; but how could I
+know to dare to risk it?</p>
+
+<p>Lee and the men from the yacht are
+at another hotel, so he didn't come very
+early this morning, and it was fortunate,
+because Uncle sent for me about
+nine to explain Mr. Chigley's card,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span>
+which they poked under the door last
+night. Uncle was so curious to know
+what it was that he got out of bed and
+found he could walk. He said he had
+never felt sure that it was paralysis, only
+he wanted to be on the safe side, and
+he is in bed still, only he is so lively
+that I am half crazy over Lee. If Uncle
+concludes he's all right, and comes
+down and finds Lee, I know he isn't
+going to like it at all. Pinkie and Bunnie
+have gone on to Mont St. Michel,
+and the Catherwood-Chigleys took the
+train for Dol right after breakfast. Mr.
+Chigley was very sorry not to see Uncle,
+and Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley said
+she should write you all about how
+well and happy I was looking. I know
+that what she really means to write<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span>
+about is Lee; but you know all about
+him, so I don't care.</p>
+
+<p>Lee says if there was time he'd go to
+Paris and get a nurse and an electric-battery
+and have Uncle kept just comfortably
+paralyzed for a few more days, but
+there isn't time, and I am so worried.
+If Uncle loses any more patience with
+Lee, he won't have any patience left at
+all, and I'll have to go all of the rest
+of the trip that way. We took a walk
+this afternoon to consult, and we saw
+Elfrida and her sister. They have cut
+off their hair, because it bothered them
+so, coming down in their eyes, and Elfrida
+says she feels all the freedom of a
+man thrilling through her&mdash;you know
+how funny she always talks. They have
+seven calloused places on the inside of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span>
+each hand from the handle-bars, and
+Elfrida says she's sure their insteps will
+arch forever after. They were coming
+out of St. Stephen's Church, and the
+only way to get rid of them was to say
+that we were just going in; so we said it,
+and went in.</p>
+
+<p>It was really very interesting, and the
+tomb of William the Conqueror is
+there. He built St. Stephen's, and Mathilde
+built La Trinité at the other end
+of the town, partly as a thank-offering
+for conquering England and partly as a
+penance for being cousins. There was
+a monastery with St. Stephen's and a
+convent with La Trinité until the Revolution
+changed everything. William's
+tomb is just a flat slab in front of the
+altar, but he really isn't there any more,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span>
+for they have dug him up and scattered
+him over and over again. The church
+is tremendously big and plain, and
+every word you even whisper echoes so
+much that Lee and I thought we'd better
+come out where we could talk alone.</p>
+
+<p>When we came back to the hotel, I
+ran up, and the mail had come from
+Paris; so Uncle said if I'd fill his fountain-pen,
+he'd just spend the afternoon
+letting a few people in America know
+what Europe was really like. I'm a
+little bit troubled, for I'm all over being
+stiff and sore from that climbing,
+and yet he seems to feel almost as mean
+as ever. He has his meals in his room,
+for, although we're on the first floor,
+he says he cannot even think calmly of
+a stair-case yet. He says that Talbot's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span>
+Tower seems to have settled in his
+calves, and Heaven knows when he'll
+get over it. Lee says I ought not to
+worry, but to make the most out of the
+situation; but I do worry, because Uncle
+is so uncertain. And I'm perfectly
+positive that there will be an awful scene
+when he finds out that during his paralysis
+I've been going all over with
+Lee.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs23" id="gs23"></a>
+<img src="images/gs23.png" width="300" height="326" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot
+even think calmly of a stair-case yet.&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Lee and I went to walk this afternoon,
+and we visited the old, old church
+of St. Nicolas. It said in the book that
+the apse still had its original stone roof,
+and Lee said it would be a good chance
+to learn what an apse was; so we set
+out to go there, but we forgot all about
+where we set out for, and it was five
+o'clock before we finally got back to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span>
+where it was. It stands in an old cemetery,
+and it says in the book that it
+has been secularized; so we climbed up
+on gravestones till we could see in the
+windows and learn what that meant,
+also. The gravestones were all covered
+with lichen and so slippery that in
+the end Lee gave up and just helped
+me to look. We didn't learn much,
+though, for it was only full of hay.</p>
+
+<p>When we got back to the hotel, I
+ran up, and Uncle was gone! I never
+was so frightened in my life, and when
+I ran back and told Lee, he whistled,
+so I saw that he was upset, too. He
+said I'd better go to my room and wait,
+and he'd dine at his hotel to-night; so
+I went to my room, and Uncle was
+there, hunting all through my things<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span>
+for the address-book. I was so glad and
+relieved that I didn't mind a bit the
+way he had churned everything up, although
+you ought to see my trunk, and
+I kissed him and told him it was just
+splendid to see him beginning to go
+about again. He looked pleased, but
+he says the backs of his legs are still beyond
+the power of description, and so I
+proposed having dinner with him in his
+room, which we did very comfortably,
+and he told me that he should remember
+this trip till the day he died, without
+any regard for the grease I spilt on
+his hat. After dinner he was very fidgety,
+and I can see that the confinement
+is wearing on him; but I don't know
+what to do.</p>
+
+<p>More letters came by the evening<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span>
+mail, and Mrs. Clary is so in raptures
+over the dinner that when Uncle asked
+me if I had heard from her I thought
+it was wisest to say no, because I knew
+that if he read how happy M. Sibilet
+was making her, he surely wouldn't
+like it at all.</p>
+
+<p>Lee sent me a note by a messenger
+about eleven o'clock, with instructions
+in French on the outside about their
+delivering it to me when I was <i>not</i> with
+Uncle. They delivered it all right,
+and I read it. He just said that the
+automobiles had come, and that he was
+going to cast his die clean over the
+Rubicon to-morrow morning at eleven.
+That means that he is going, of course,
+and that I am to be left here all alone.
+I do feel very badly over it, for Uncle<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span>
+will be almost sure to find out about
+Lee whenever he can get downstairs
+again, and then I'm sure I don't know
+what will happen. Of course I've not
+done anything that I shouldn't have
+done; but, dear me! doing right
+doesn't help if Uncle chooses to decide
+that it is wrong. And if he can't walk,
+to let us go on traveling, he's going to
+keep getting more and more difficult to
+get along with. I don't like to tell
+Lee how troubled I am, because if Lee
+gets worked up and decides to take a
+hand in while I'm traveling with
+Uncle, I might as well be Mr. Pickwick
+when he rushed between just in
+time to get the tongs on one side and
+the shovel on the other. I don't want
+Lee trying to defend me from Uncle,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span>
+because I know Uncle would never
+forgive him for thinking I needed defending.
+You know yourself just how
+Uncle is, and now that his legs are so
+stiff he is more that way than ever.
+Lee doesn't understand, and I can't
+make him understand, and perhaps it's
+just as well that he should go on to-morrow.
+Maybe Uncle will be better
+in a few days, so that we can visit
+Bayeux. He's crazy to go to Bayeux
+and see the tapestry, and it isn't so very
+far. But what shall we do if we come
+to any town again where there are no
+cabs! It would be awful.</p>
+
+<p>However, I shall not worry, for it's
+no use. Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley
+wrote me her address on one of her
+cards, and Lee took it and sent it to me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span>
+with some beautiful flowers. He
+thought it was such a clever, safe idea;
+but just suppose we meet them again!
+If I didn't think Lee was just right, I'd
+think he had almost too many clever
+ideas; and, anyhow, I know that I'm
+sure that he has too many while I'm
+traveling with Uncle.</p>
+
+<p>Now, good-night, it's so very late.
+Don't ever feel troubled over me, for
+I'm having a splendid time, and it was
+so kind of Uncle to bring us.</p>
+
+<p class="center"> Your own loving &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="X" id="X"></a>X</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p>
+<br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire.</i></p>
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: I am the
+happiest thing in the whole
+wide world, and Lee is the
+grandest fellow! I must write you
+everything, and you will see.</p>
+
+<p>The morning after I last wrote,
+Uncle had me waked up at seven and
+wrote on a scrap of paper, "We leave
+for Bayeux at 8.30." I was just about
+sick, for I knew he wasn't able to, and
+then, besides, if we left so early, I surely
+shouldn't see Lee again. But I got up
+and dressed, of course, and I was beside<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span>
+myself to find some way of sending Lee
+a scrap of a good-by before we took a
+cab for the <i>gare</i>. Uncle was in high
+spirits over getting out again, and all
+went well until it came the minute to
+get him on to the train. Well, I do
+believe he was scared himself. Getting
+on to a French train is almost like
+going up a ladder that slopes the wrong
+way, I always think, and it took two
+commissionaires to hoist Uncle into
+the coupé. He was awfully worried
+over it, I could see, for he talked about
+what an outrageous idiot Mr. Chopstone
+was all the way to Bayeux. We had to
+get out there, of course, and I was beside
+myself to know how to manage.
+In the end Uncle came down so suddenly
+that he nearly crushed me and a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span>
+meek, good-hearted little Frenchman
+who had kindly offered to help assist.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs24" id="gs24"></a>
+<img src="images/gs24.png" width="300" height="472" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">Bayeux</span>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>The <i>gare</i> at Bayeux is quite a walk
+from the part of the town where the
+sights are and there wasn't a cab or a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span>
+thing on wheels. I didn't dare look at
+Uncle, for there is no train back till
+four in the afternoon. He seemed a
+bit staggered at first, and then he said
+well, it was level, and we'd go leisurely
+along and enjoy the fresh, pure, sweet
+air of the country. So we walked along,
+but I could see he wasn't enjoying it a
+bit, and it took us a half-hour to get to
+where we were going. We went to
+the cathedral first, and Uncle sat right
+down and said he wanted time enough
+to enjoy the ground-work of the vaulting
+and that I could just leave him and
+go around alone. It was my first
+chance to look at anything as slow as I
+liked, and I really did enjoy myself very
+much.</p>
+
+<p>It's a really wonderful old cathedral,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span>
+and I found a nice old sacristan
+behind the altar, and he took me underneath
+into the crypt, and the crypt is
+the original church where Harold took
+the oath. It was slowly buried by the
+dirt of centuries, and when they started
+to put a furnace in a few years ago, they
+found it and dug it out again. It isn't
+very large, and the walls are of stone
+several feet thick, with little bits of
+arched windows set up too high to see
+from.</p>
+
+<p>When I came back we went to see
+the tapestry in the museum, and it isn't
+really tapestry at all: it's a long, long
+strip of linen about a foot wide, with
+scenes embroidered on it in Kensington,
+and over and over. It's really very
+well done, and it isn't a bit badly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span>
+worn out&mdash;only a few little holes here
+and there. The scenes are very interesting,
+and some of them are awfully
+funny. The way they hauled the
+horses over the sides of the boats when
+they landed in England, for example.
+The Saxons have beards, and the Normans
+are shaven. I couldn't help
+thinking how funny it was that the
+Normans, who were regarded as barbarians
+by the French, were looked upon
+as tremendously effete by the English.
+Uncle took a deal of pleasure studying
+the whole thing, and we were there till
+it was time for lunch. We had a nice
+lunch at a clean little place, and then
+came the rub. There was nothing to
+do till train-time, and that terrible walk
+to the <i>gare</i>. I had brought a book<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span>
+along, so I could read aloud, but Uncle
+said only a woman would come to
+Bayeux and read a novel, and that I
+reminded him of Aunt Jane. You
+know how terrible it is when any one
+reminds him of Aunt Jane; so I closed
+the book at once, and said I'd do anything
+he liked. He said that that was
+more like Aunt Jane than ever, to just
+sit back and throw the whole burden
+on to him; and then he shook his
+watch and held it to his ear and said
+"Hum!" too, one right after the other.
+I was almost beside myself to know
+what to do or what to suggest, and just
+then something came puffing up behind
+us and stopped right at our side. It
+was a big automobile, with three men
+in it, and one jerked off his mask and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span>
+jumped out over the wheel and grabbed
+Uncle by the hand. And it was Lee!</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs25" id="gs25"></a>
+<img src="images/gs25.png" width="450" height="366" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">"And it was Lee"</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>You never saw anything like Uncle's
+face! He seemed reparalyzed for a few
+seconds, and Lee kept shaking his hand
+and telling him how glad he was to see
+him, and how he <i>must</i> get right into
+the automobile and go on with them to
+Caen. My heart just about stopped
+beating, I was so anxious, but Lee never
+stopped shaking, and the other men took
+off their masks and got out, too, and told
+Uncle he really must do them the honor
+and give them the pleasure, and in the
+end we got him in, and Lee won out.</p>
+
+<p>Oh, it was such fun! We had the
+most glorious trip back to Caen. They
+had an extra mask along, and Uncle
+wore it and sat on the front seat, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span>
+Mr. Peters, the man who owns the
+automobile, was really lovely to him.
+The other man and Lee and I sat behind,
+and the other man is Mr. Peters's
+mother's son by her second husband. His
+name is Archie Stowell, and I should
+judge that Mr. Peters's mother's second
+husband was a lot livelier than the first,
+but not so clever. Mr. Peters is really
+awfully clever, and the way he talked
+to Uncle was wonderful. Uncle said it
+was a very smooth-riding automobile,
+and Mr. Peters said it did him good all
+through to meet some one who recognized
+the good points of a good machine
+at once; he said not one man in a thousand
+had brains enough to know a good
+machine when he was in it, and that
+he was overjoyed to have accidentally<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span>
+met the one man who did discriminate.
+And Uncle said he should judge that
+automobiling was a very easy way of
+getting over the ground when one was
+traveling in Europe, and Mr. Peters
+said it was perfectly bewildering how
+the breadth and scope of Uncle's mind
+could instantaneously seize and weigh
+every side of an intricate proposition and
+as instantaneously solve it completely.
+By the time we reached Caen Uncle
+was so saturated with Mr. Peters that
+he even smiled on Lee as we got out
+and asked them all three to dine with
+us at eight. They accepted, and went
+to their hotel to dress, and Uncle went
+to his room without one word of any
+kind to me.</p>
+
+<p>They came, and we had a very nice<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span>
+dinner in a little separate room, and the
+way Mr. Peters talked to Uncle was
+worth listening to surely. And when
+Uncle was talking, he leaned forward
+and paid attention as if his life depended
+on every word. By ten o'clock Uncle
+was happier than I have almost ever
+seen him, and Mr. Peters said it was no
+use, we just simply must join their party
+and go on in the automobile. Lee began
+to laugh when he said that, and
+said: "Now, Peters, you'll learn the
+sensation of getting turned down cold."
+It was an awful second for me, because
+I just felt Uncle's terrible battle between
+not wanting to go on with Lee and wanting
+to contradict him; but in the end
+the wanting to contradict overpowered
+everything else, and he said: "Young<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span>
+man, when you are as old as I am you'll
+be less ready to speak for other people
+than you seem disposed to do now."</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs26" id="gs26"></a>
+<img src="images/gs26.png" width="450" height="300" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;We passed Elfrida and her
+sister to-day, pedaling along for dear life&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p>And then he accepted Mr. Peters's
+invitation! So will you only please to
+think of it&mdash;we are touring with Lee,
+and to-day we came up through the
+lovely valley of the Vire to this little
+town of the same name. It is all too
+nice for words; Uncle sits on the front
+seat all the time, and when he gives
+Mr. Peters advice, Mr. Peters always
+thanks him and says that he never met
+any one before with sense enough to
+have figured that out.</p>
+
+<p>We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day,
+pedaling along for dear life. They
+didn't know us, and they are getting to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span>
+look so awful that I thought it was just
+as well. Uncle says he thinks they are
+seeing Europe for thirty cents a day
+now.</p>
+
+<p>It is raining, and I must go to bed.</p>
+
+<p class="rtxhead"> Your very happy,</p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="XI" id="XI"></a>XI</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p>
+<br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: We are
+still here in Vire, and we cannot
+go on for it is raining awfully.
+It rained all yesterday, and we had
+<i>more</i> fun. About ten in the morning an
+automobile arrived with a lady Lee
+knows named Mrs. Brewer and three
+men, and about twelve another automobile
+arrived with Clara and Emily
+Kingsley and their aunt Clara Emily
+and Ellsworth Grimm and Jim Freeman
+and a chauffeur, and about half-past
+one a runabout automobile camein with the two Tripps. We are like
+a big house-party, and Mr. Peters plays
+poker with Uncle every minute, so we.
+can all have no end of a good time
+
+<p>I must explain to you about Mr.
+Peters, because Lee explained to me. I
+was so troubled over Mr. Peters being
+so devoted to Uncle and never winning
+a single jack-pot once himself that Lee
+told me all about how it is. It seems
+that Mr. Peters's mother was married
+to Mr. Peters's father for quite a while
+before he died and that Mr. Peters's
+father wasn't very well off and was
+very hard to live pleasantly with on account
+of Mr. Stowell's father, who lived
+next door and was very well off and very
+easy for Mr. Peters's mother to get along
+with always; Mr. Peters's father died<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span>
+when Mr. Peters was about twelve years
+old, and just as soon as it was perfectly
+ladylike, Mr. Peters's mother married
+Mr. Stowell's father and went next door
+to live and had Mr. Stowell. Lee says
+Mr. Stowell's father never liked Mr.
+Peters much because he reminded him
+of all those years that Mr. Peters's and
+Mr. Stowell's mother lived next door
+instead of living with him; but Lee says
+Mr. Peters is very clever, and he saw how
+much his father lost from not being easy
+to get along with, and so he made up
+his mind to be easy to get along with
+himself. He gets along so well with
+Mr. Stowell that they travel together
+all the time, and Lee says he told him
+that if he could get along well with
+Uncle he'd make it well worth his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span>
+while; so he's getting along beautifully
+with Uncle, and Lee is making it ever
+so well worth his while.</p>
+
+<p>Clara Kingsley has fallen in love with
+one of the men who came with Mrs.
+Brewer&mdash;the tall, dark one, who does
+not talk much and reads German in his
+room most of his time. There are so
+many that I get names mixed, but Emily
+Kingsley is the same as ever, and <i>such</i> a
+joy to meet again. She says she doesn't
+fall in love the way Clara does; she only
+gets badly spattered. The two Tripps
+are both devoted to Emily, and I think
+they are all sort of keeping along together.
+Miss Clara Emily asked after
+every one in our family, even Aunt Jane.
+Of course I told her that Aunt Jane had
+been dead two years, and you ought to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span>
+have seen her jump and look at Uncle.
+She asked me if Uncle lived alone in the
+house, and she looked so reflective that
+I felt quite uncomfortable. I told Lee
+about it, but he says Uncle must take
+his chances the same as the rest of the
+world when it comes to Miss Clara
+Emily. I wish Lee wouldn't make
+light of anything so serious as the way
+Miss Clara Emily looked reflective.
+You know you wouldn't like her having
+all Aunt Jane's lace, and I'm sure
+that after Uncle was completely married
+to her, he wouldn't like it at all, either.
+I don't know what Mrs. Brewer is,
+but the men that came in the automobile
+with her are just devoted to her, and
+she makes every one have a good time.
+We played cards and Consequences all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span>
+the afternoon, and Mrs. Brewer told our
+fortunes from tea-leaves in the evening.
+She told Uncle to beware of a long,
+pointed nose which she saw in his cup,
+and Miss Clara Emily didn't know
+whether to be mad or glad. She saw
+a wedding-ring in Lee's cup, and I
+blushed terribly and tried to cough, and
+sneezed instead; and Lee said it was an
+automobile tire, and meant a breakdown.
+I do think Lee is always so
+nice. But about eleven we all got a
+terrible shock, for the handsome man
+that Clara has fallen in love with suddenly
+came to the door with his German
+book in his hand and said to Mrs.
+Brewer, "Come to bed, Bert. I'm
+sleepy as the devil."</p>
+
+<p>You never saw anything like poor<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span>
+Clara! I thought that she would faint,
+for you know when Clara falls in love
+how it goes all through her. She went
+upstairs a little later, and, as luck would
+have it, she had the next room to the
+Brewers, and she says it just about killed
+her to hear him brushing his teeth, and
+I promised her I'd never tell, but she
+says he called her and Emily the "Yellow
+Kids" and laughed and laughed
+and laughed. I do think it was very
+horrid of him, for they can't help having
+Mr. Kingsley's ears, and I comforted
+Clara all I could, and told her that the
+way she puffs her hair is ever so becoming.
+It isn't a bit, but I had to be as
+nice as I knew how, for she was crying
+so that I was afraid Mr. Brewer would
+call her <i>Cyrano de Bergerac</i>, if she didn't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span>
+stop.</p>
+
+<p>I had the room between Uncle and the
+two Tripps, and the two Tripps calculated
+their money for three solid hours,
+I do believe, trying to see whether
+they'd have to draw on Paris behind
+them or could wait for London ahead.
+The big Tripp said Mr. Peters had a
+hard row to hoe and the little Tripp said
+Lee had a soft snap, and then they
+added and subtracted and divided for
+another hour. I was almost insane
+when finally the little Tripp said: "Tell
+me what fifteen times nine is, and then
+I'll go to sleep," and someone across
+the hall hollered: "In Heaven's name
+tell him what fifteen times nine is, and
+then we'll <i>all</i> go to sleep." There was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span>
+deadly stillness after that.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p>
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>:</p>
+
+<p>You see, we are still here and it is
+still raining. Every one telegraphed for
+mail yesterday and every one got it to-day.
+I had your letters and one from
+Edna and one from Mrs. Clary. They
+are going on a coaching trip with the
+man who wasn't a duke, and Edna has
+bought three new hats. Mrs. Clary
+says I am an angel and that she and
+Edna think it right out of Heaven
+the way Lee has turned up. I had three
+letters from Mr. Edgar, and he says he
+is thinking of making a trip into Brittany<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span>
+and joining us. I told Lee, and
+Lee says he isn't thinking anything of
+the kind, not in his life. I don't really
+think that Mr. Edgar and Lee would
+get on very well together. I feel almost
+sure that they wouldn't like each
+other. Indeed, I feel quite sure.</p>
+
+<p>Poor Clara came to my room while
+I was reading letters, and she says she is
+blighted by Mr. Brewer and knows she
+can never get over it. She says she
+wouldn't have him know that she has
+the next room and can hear every word
+for anything, for she says it's perfectly
+awful all she's overhearing. She says
+he called Mrs. Brewer "Ladybug," and
+it sounded so sweet that she cried for
+fifteen minutes with the pillow around
+her head to keep them from hearing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span>
+her. I'm awfully sorry about Clara,
+because she is always so sincere. Don't
+you remember that time that she was
+so sincere that they were afraid that she
+would commit suicide over Cleever
+Wiggins&mdash;and that awfully sincere time
+she had with young Prof. Cook? She
+says she could stand anything if she
+could feel that she was reciprocated; but
+she says she can't feel that Mr. Brewer
+reciprocates one bit, for he told his
+wife that he bet Clara would be an
+older maid than her aunt before she got
+through with life, and Clara says that's
+no compliment, however you work it.</p>
+
+<p>When we went down-stairs, Mr. Peters
+and Uncle were playing poker and
+Miss Clara Emily was sitting by them
+looking rapt. Heavens! I do hope it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span>
+will stop raining and let us get away
+soon, for Uncle told me this noon that
+she was more unlike Aunt Jane than
+any woman that he had seen in years.
+Lee says he hopes we can get away very
+soon, too; he does not like Ellsworth
+Grimm. It is a pity, because Ellsworth
+has grown so nice, and with his pointed
+beard he is really very handsome. He
+has done a beautiful sketch of me that
+every one but Lee thinks is splendid,
+and I'm going to send it to you when
+it is finished. Uncle is very good-tempered,
+and has won over a hundred and
+fifty francs from Mr. Peters at poker.
+Mr. Peters says he's played poker for
+years without meeting such a rattling
+winner as Uncle, and Uncle believes
+him. The two Tripps want to go on,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span>
+too, because they decided to wait for
+their money at London, and they are
+afraid they are going to run short. Mr.
+Brewer wants to go, too, because he has
+finished his German book. I think we all
+want to go, because two days is a long
+while to spend in Vire. Clara says if they
+cannot go on in the automobile, she must
+take a train, for she is getting more and
+more sincere the more she is hearing
+Mr. Brewer talking to his wife through
+the wall. Clara says he said that he was
+going to snip her nose off when they
+were dressing this morning, and she says
+he calls her "Puss" till Clara feels as
+if she should expire in agony. She
+doesn't get any sympathy from Emily,
+because Emily has another room, and
+Emily isn't sincere, anyhow. Emily<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span>
+has thrown over the two Tripps and
+taken Mr. Stowell, and thrown over
+Mr. Stowell and gone back to the big
+Tripp, all in just these two days. Emily
+asked me if I ever saw such a fool as
+Clara; she says it almost kills her to
+have such a sister and such an aunt.
+She asked me if I'd noticed her aunt
+looking at my Uncle, and I had to say
+yes. Then she said she did hope that
+it would stop raining pretty soon, for
+she wants to get to Granville and meet
+a man and get letters from three more.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs27" id="gs27"></a>
+<img src="images/gs27.png" width="300" height="295" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;Miss Clara Emily is getting
+very much in earnest&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>Uncle came into my room this afternoon
+noon and said the more he saw of
+Europe the better he liked it, and that
+Mr. Peters was the sort of friend that
+was worth making. He said he had decided
+to go on with them to Mont<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span>
+St. Michel, because they were so urgent
+that he couldn't well get out of it.
+He says he hopes I won't consider that
+he has changed his opinion of Lee because
+he hasn't, but that he will say
+this much, and that is, that the fact
+that a man like Mr. Peters will call
+Lee his friend proves that he must have
+some good in him somewhere. Uncle
+said the Kingsleys seem to be nice girls,
+and then he coughed, but I didn't
+say anything, so he dropped the subject.
+I must tell you, though, that Miss Clara
+Emily is getting very much in earnest,
+and every one is noticing it, and Uncle
+seems pleased.</p>
+
+<p>We all played cards to-day and wrote
+letters and Lee told Ellsworth Grimm
+he was a blank idiot under his breath.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span>
+I don't know what was the trouble,
+and Lee says it isn't any of my business,
+but I think we are all getting cross from
+being shut up so much in this little
+country hotel. Elfrida and her sister
+arrived about noon, but there wasn't
+any spare room under two francs, and
+so they went to the other hotel. Ellsworth
+Grimm has gone to the other
+hotel, too. He says it rains in his
+ceiling and he's afraid he'll get pneumonia.</p>
+
+<p>It's getting awful about poor Clara
+and Mr. Brewer, for he said something
+about her to-day that almost killed her,
+and that is so bad that she won't repeat
+it to me. She says Mrs. Brewer just
+shrieked with laughter over it, and told
+him he was the dearest, horridest thing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span>
+alive. Clara says I cannot possibly
+guess the torture of being sincere over
+a married man who howls with laughter
+over you in the next room. She says
+she can't help hearing, and she's taken
+an awful cold standing with her ear to
+the wall, too. Poor Clara!</p>
+
+<p>Emily and the big Tripp went out
+and walked in the rain most all the
+afternoon, and I thought she must be
+very fond of him to be willing to get
+so wet; but she says all she's done here
+she's done to make Jim Freeman
+jealous. I was so surprised when she
+told me that, for Jim has spent the
+entire two days with the chauffeur
+under the automobile. They have
+only come out to eat and sleep, and if
+he is in love with Emily, he is certainly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span>
+taking it easy.</p><br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>12 M. next day</i>).</p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Oh, Mama</span>, we are so tired of this
+place! Clara has cried herself sick,
+and her aunt sent for the doctor. Mr.
+and Mrs. Brewer heard through the
+wall when he came, and heard that it
+was Clara, and of course they knew that
+Clara must have heard them just as well
+as they could hear the doctor, and they
+nearly went crazy. Mrs. Brewer came
+to me in a sort of mad despair and said
+Mr. Brewer was almost wild. She says
+she has mimicked Clara and Emily and
+their aunt over and over, and she never
+dreamed that the wall was so thin. She
+says Mr. Brewer talks all the time he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span>
+dresses and undresses and says anything
+that comes into his head. They felt
+perfectly unable to face Clara again, and
+it was raining so hard that they couldn't
+go on, so they moved over to the other
+hotel.</p><br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>2 <span class="smcap">p.m.</span> same day</i>).</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">It's</span> very funny, but it seems that the
+little Tripp was dreadfully taken with
+Mrs. Brewer, so the two Tripps have
+moved over to the other hotel, too. Mr.
+Stowell and Emily want to go, too, but
+they are with parties, and cannot do as
+they please. The big Tripp came
+back for his soap, and said he had a fireplace
+and now Uncle wants to move,
+too.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (4 <i><span class="smcap">p.m.</span> same day</i>).<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">We</span> did move, and Lee said if we
+went, he was going. So he and Mr.
+Peters and Mr. Stowell have come over.
+So we are all here except the Kingsleys
+and Jim Freeman. I had to go back
+for Uncle's soap, and the little Tripp
+left his pajamas, so we went back together
+to get both, and poor Clara is
+delirious, screaming, "Yellow kids, yellow
+kids!" every minute. Every one
+thinks she is thinking of shopping in
+Paris, and I didn't explain; but while
+we were there, Mr. Brewer came back
+for their soap and heard Clara, and, as
+a result, he and his wife went on in their
+automobile, rain or no rain. They left
+one of their men named Scott McCarthy,
+and took Ellsworth Grimm.
+Ellsworth wanted to go, and Scott<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span>
+wanted to stay, so it happened very
+nicely.</p><br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>6 <span class="smcap">p.m.</span> same day</i>).</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">They</span> have just moved Clara over
+here. She had a fresh fit when she
+heard Mr. Brewer getting the soap, and
+Miss Clara Emily thought that a
+change of scene would benefit her; so
+they all moved over. Emily told me
+(I walked over with Emily when she
+went back to get their soap) that it
+really wasn't Clara at all: it was that
+her aunt wanted to keep close to my
+Uncle. Isn't it awful? And Uncle
+is so flattered, too! I do hope that it
+will stop raining to-morrow. Lee
+doesn't like Scott McCarthy, and it is
+a pity, for he seems to be such a nice<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span>
+man. It's terribly dull without Mrs.
+Brewer, she was so lively. Mr. Peters
+is beginning to look real pale, and Lee
+says he ought to have a monument to
+patience erected to him. Jim Freeman
+is worried over the automobiles; he's
+afraid something will happen to them
+on account of our all changing hotels.
+Wouldn't that be terrible?</p>
+
+<p class="center"> Lovingly,</p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>8 <span class="smcap">a.m.</span> next day</i>).</p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">p.s.</span> Just a line to say that the sun has
+come out, and that we are all going on
+by train, except Jim Freeman and the
+chauffeur. Some one slashed all the
+automobile tires last night. Isn't that
+awful?</p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="XII" id="XII"></a>XII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN AND MONT-SAINT-MICHEL</p>
+<br>
+<p><span class="dropcap">"W</span><span class="smcap">ell</span>, this is a great change
+from the automobile&mdash;eh,
+Peters? Of all the outrageous,
+heathenish actions, that cutting
+of automobile tires was the worst.
+Every man at that hotel ought to be
+hung up and high-strung and quartered&mdash;make
+an example of the whole outfit.
+I must say, though, that I blame
+Freeman a good deal myself. He says
+he felt anxious, and yet he never had
+that chauffeur set up to watch. Foolish,
+very foolish; but he'll pay the
+penalty, having to stay there and wait for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span>
+the tires from Caen.</p>
+
+<p>"Lee, if you could withdraw yourself
+somewhat from the window, perhaps
+I could form some faint conception
+of what the country looks like
+to the north. If you and Yvonne want
+to compare maps, I should suggest that
+you sit side by side instead of holding
+the map so that it completely covers
+my horizon.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Peters, and so here we are
+off for Dol. Dol seems to be the only
+way to get in or out of Brittany and it
+must have been so always, for in Matilda's
+tapestry she's got William and
+Harold on their way to Dol as a
+beginning to making things hot for the
+Lord of Brittany. Very interesting
+study, that tapestry, Peters. I wouldn't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span>
+have&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Stowell, I beg your pardon, but
+those are my feet, and not valises,
+that you are going to sleep against. I
+didn't say anything as long as you took
+them as they lay, but now that you
+want my left foot slanting to the right,
+I must protest. Suppose you end yourself
+the other way for a change, anyhow.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Peters, and so we are off for
+Mont-Saint-Michel, bless her old heart&mdash;or
+is Michel a him? I must say,
+I'm deeply interested in to-day's expedition.
+Wasn't some English Henry
+shut up on Mont-Saint-Michel and fed
+by ravens there, or something like that?
+Yes; I know there's some such legend,
+and now we're going to see the spot.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span>
+How do we get from Dol to the mont?
+By Pontorson, eh? And then diligence
+the rest. Well, I must say it sounds
+like quite an undertaking; but then, if
+you leave the beaten path, you must
+always pay the price, and I must say I
+enjoy these little jaunts with a congenial
+party. Too bad the Kingsleys couldn't
+have continued with us. Nice people,
+the Kingsleys&mdash;very interesting girls.
+What did you say? Oh, yes, of course
+the aunt was interesting, too; but&mdash;what
+did you say? Nonsense, nonsense!
+But I will say one thing, Peters,
+and that is that it pays to travel around
+when it brings one in contact with
+people such as yourself and Miss
+Kingsley.</p>
+
+<p>"So this is Pontorson! Do we get
+down here? Is that the diligence? Do<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span>
+we get up there? Great Scott! how can
+we? And it looks to be about full already.
+Do you mean that we have got
+to climb that little ladder? I don't believe
+Yvonne can. I don't believe she
+ought to, even if she can. Can't we go
+to Mont-Saint-Michel some other way?
+Peters, I'd like to slay with my own
+hands that wretch that slashed our automobile.
+Will you think of the difference
+he is making in our comfort these
+days?</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Stowell, let's see you skin up
+there first. Looks easy, don't it, Peters?
+Lee, you go next. Now, Peters, it's
+your turn. And now, Yvonne, my
+child, steady, and start and keep right
+on to the end. There&mdash;there&mdash;catch
+her on top anywhere, Peters. Got her?
+Are you all right, child? And now<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span>
+for your Uncle John!</p>
+
+<p>"Ask him if this is a new ladder. I
+don't want to take any chances with an
+old ladder, you know. Well, what did
+he say? Ask him if people ever do
+fall or meet with any sort of accidents
+going up. Well, what did he say?
+Peters, this looks more serious every
+minute. What do they have the thing
+so high for, anyhow? I must say I
+don't like going up there at all. Ask
+him if he has ever known anyone to
+miss their footing? Well, tell him to
+keep a good grip on the ladder. Now
+then, one, two,&mdash;oh, this is&mdash;confound
+him! tell him to steady it&mdash;Great
+Scott! Landed!</p>
+
+<p>"And now that I am up, tell me
+how in all creation I'm ever to get<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</a></span>
+down again.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, why don't we start? That's
+the worst of Europe, Peters&mdash;no push,
+no energy. Perfectly content to sit
+on a diligence and stagnate. Let
+me look at my watch. Eleven.
+Well, I'm not at all surprised. I
+wouldn't be surprised at anything that
+might occur in this vicinity. I tell
+you, Peters, it will be a glad day for
+me when I set my foot down hard on
+a New York steamer pier once more.
+I can't but feel&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Ah, so we are to get under way at
+last! Lumbering old concern&mdash;eh,
+Peters? Great contrast to the automobile&mdash;Lee,
+as there may be some one
+speaking English within a mile of us,
+I would suggest that you lower your<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</a></span>
+voice a trifle and give the other fellow
+a chance. What? I don't catch what
+you say? Speaking to <i>me</i>? Who's
+speaking to me? <i>You?</i> Well, what
+do you want to say to me? I'm right
+here to be spoken to, and from the outlook
+I should fancy that I was going
+to be right here for an indefinite length
+of time. Well, what is it? The Brewers!
+Where? Ahead there? How do you
+know? Are you sure? What do you
+think, Peters? Yes, that's them.
+Brewer seems to be underneath the
+machine. Well, what shall we do?
+Wave and holler? We can't do anything
+else if we want to. But they
+are going to be a good deal surprised to
+see us perched aloft like this. Yes;
+there's Mrs. Brewer sitting on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</a></span>
+bank with McCarthy and the other
+man. I'd rather be the guests than
+the owner when it comes to an automobile
+any day.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, why don't you holler, Lee?
+That's it&mdash;make a trumpet out of your
+hands and just give it to them. Gee!
+but they are surprised! Holler that we
+are going to Mme. Poulard Ainé. I
+suppose that they're going there, too,
+anyway; no one ever goes anywhere else.
+Dear me! but they're happy to have
+that automobile. Lucky for them that
+they went on just when they did.
+There's Brewer crawling out from
+under. Well, I can't stay twisted any
+longer, so we'll turn our eyes once
+more to the future.</p>
+
+<p>"What's that ant-hill out at sea? It<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</a></span>
+isn't the sea, though, is it? It's land;
+gray sand, I vow. And so that is Mont-Saint-Michel?
+Curious. Used to be on
+land, eh, and then got to be on sea? It
+appears to me that we have quite a drive
+before us yet. Looks to me to be three
+or four miles. What do you say,
+Peters? Of course I don't know, how
+big the mont is, so I have nothing to
+judge the distance by; but I should say
+three miles at least.</p>
+
+<p>"Stowell, I've heard that story you
+are telling ever since I was born; who
+ever told you that it was new ought to
+be shot. This tendency to tell old
+stories is a perfect vice with some people,
+Peters, and that brother of yours is forever
+doing it. I've heard him tell
+about calling the cabman a pig in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</a></span>
+France and asking him if he was engaged
+in Germany until I'm about to
+the end of my patience. Great Scott!
+how hot the sun is, and no matter how
+gaily we lumber along, the mont looks
+to be equally distant. What is this road
+we're on, anyway? Seems to be a highway
+in the most literal sense of the
+word. Dike, eh? Built on purpose
+for tourists, I suppose&mdash;the American
+tourists before all, I'll bet.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, so that is the mont close to.
+Appears to just comfortably cover up the
+whole island. Curious collection of
+houses and staircases topped off by a
+church. However, my main care at
+this moment isn't what we've come to
+see, but how in thunder we're to get
+down to see it. Well, the people line<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</a></span>
+up pretty thick, and they have the additional
+joy of knowing that every last
+one of us is a tourist. That's one good
+thing about America, Peters, you can
+travel there without being a tourist.
+You pay a stiff price for very little, but
+that little's good, and the game ends
+with it. Europe's entirely different:
+what turns on the light over the wash-stand
+turns it off over the bed, and then,
+with all that, they mark light extra in
+the bill. There don't seem to be any
+legitimate hotel comforts here: they're
+all extra. I vow, I hate to take that
+hard-wood bolster out from under my
+head nights, for it's the one thing I get
+for nothing in every hotel.</p>
+
+<p>"Well, Yvonne, I think you'd better
+go down first. You go next, Stowell,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</a></span>
+and then you, Lee. You and I, Peters,
+will wait and take our time. I vow,
+I'm not very keen on this descent.
+Just hold my hat, will you? Here,
+you, down there, hold this ladder steady.
+Peters, I&mdash;where's the next step?
+Peters, you&mdash;where's the bottom? I
+vow I&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Safe at last! quaint old place&mdash;old
+wall with a gate in it, eh! Fishing-rods
+and oars all about; when does the tide
+come in? Faster than a horse can gallop,
+eh? Well, that must be sad for
+the horse. Anyhow, I didn't ask how
+fast it came in; I asked when it would
+come in next. Well, ask some one.
+An hour after we leave, eh? Interesting.
+But come on; let's go up to
+Mme. Poulard Ainé and eat the omelet,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</a></span>
+and then we can climb around some.
+You walk on, Yvonne, and order the
+luncheon, and Mr. Peters and I will
+come leisurely after. Yes, my niece is
+a pretty girl, Peters, but nothing but a
+child&mdash;nothing but a child. No more
+idea of worldliness than a cat has of a
+cactus; a great responsibility to travel
+with&mdash;a great responsibility. Between
+you and me, I used to suspect young
+Reynolds of paying her attention; but
+when he took another ship over, and then
+left Paris before we arrived, I saw my
+suspicions had been wrong. I said a
+thing or two about him to Yvonne, and
+she took it perfectly placidly, so then I
+saw that it was all off. I don't like to
+run down a friend of yours, Peters,&mdash;and
+I suppose he must be a friend of yours<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</a></span>
+or you wouldn't have him along with
+you,&mdash;but you're old enough to see
+that he hasn't got the stuff in him to
+make any girl happy. He's too&mdash;too&mdash;well,
+I can't just express it, but I
+know that you understand. It takes
+peculiar attributes to make a woman
+happy. Now, take me for example.
+My wife and I were very happy; she
+always knew just what was expected of
+her, and she always did it. It followed
+naturally that&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"And so this is the famous omelet-place.
+Well, in we go. Quaint&mdash;very
+quaint. Look at the chickens turning
+on the spit and dripping in a trough.
+My, but they look good! Mme. Poulard
+herself, isn't it? Good day, ma'am;
+bon jour&mdash;bon jour. Glory, what a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</a></span>
+smile, stereoscoped and illuminated!
+Makes me think of the china cat's head
+that we used to put a candle inside of
+when I was a kid. Do we go upstairs?
+Eat up there, eh? Quaint&mdash;very quaint.
+Every fellow did what he pleased to
+these walls, evidently. Well, Peters,
+let's sit down."</p>
+
+<p>"<span class="smcap">And</span> so we now set out to climb
+Mont-Saint-Michel. Picturesque flight
+of steps. No, I don't mind climbing&mdash;good
+exercise. Curious little winding
+walk; old woman with baskets to
+sell. No, we don't want any; go 'way,
+go 'way. Terrible nuisance such
+people. Here's another with yellow
+flowers. No, no, go 'way, you&mdash;and
+another with matches. No, no, go<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</a></span>
+'way. Well, that's a pretty tall flight
+of steps, isn't it, Peters? But I guess
+we can make it. Where's Yvonne?
+Ahead, eh? Well, I presume those
+two fellows can look out for her.
+Curious about the Brewers not turning
+up; suppose he's under the automobile
+yet? Wonder how Freeman is getting
+on in Vire. Let's stop and look at the
+view. Fine view! As I was saying,
+Peters, it was too bad the way we
+broke up at Vire. I really felt mean
+over leaving as we did. What did you
+say? Nonsense; none of that, Peters,
+none of that. But I will say one thing
+for her: she certainly was a woman of
+great perception&mdash;always thoughtful
+for others. Did you notice how she
+used to push the ash-receiver toward<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</a></span>
+me? It's things like that that make a
+man comfortable. Astonishing that such
+a woman should never marry. Well,
+let's go on. Not more than ninety more
+steps and two flower women to get
+over. Peters, have you observed how
+many stairs there are in Europe? It
+fairly bristles with them. We go
+pretty nearly stair-free with us, and
+over here it's stairs from dawn till&mdash;</p>
+
+<p>"Great Scott, will you look at them!
+Oh, I never can go up there, never!
+We may as well go back. If you
+want to, you can go up; but I couldn't
+possibly see anything that would compensate
+me for those steps. I'll bet
+there are ten thousand, and like as not
+there are more beyond. I'm going
+back and sit with Mme. Poulard Ainé<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</a></span>
+till it's time to go. You go on alone.
+Just tell him we don't want any of
+those oyster-shell pincushions first, will
+you? Then you go on by yourself,
+Peters, I've had enough."</p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="XIII" id="XIII"></a>XIII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p>
+<br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: We are
+all here together again except
+the Brewers and the two
+Tripps and Ellsworth Grimm. It is
+very jolly, only I am so worried over
+Uncle and Miss Clara Emily. Even
+Mr. Peters cannot keep them apart.
+Lee took Mr. Peters to his room and
+talked to him seriously, and offered to
+make Uncle still more worth his while;
+but Mr. Peters has been agreeable so
+long that he doesn't do it well any
+more. He just looks silly, and Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</a></span>
+says if he was us he'd let Uncle go
+rip. But of course Lee isn't us, and I
+know that he can't be expected to
+know just how we feel. If Uncle John
+marries Miss Clara Emily, I know no
+one is going to like it  at all.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs28" id="gs28"></a>
+<img src="images/gs28.png" width="300" height="375" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">In Mont-Saint-Michel</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>We went to Mont-Saint-Michel, and
+every one but Uncle went up, and he
+went seven flights up&mdash;he <i>says</i> twenty,
+but I don't believe that there are more
+than sixteen or seventeen in all. We
+were ahead, and never knew that he had
+stopped being behind, and it was so interesting
+on top that I forgot I had an
+uncle. There are beautiful halls and
+cloisters, and then one goes down
+through all sorts of horrors while the
+guide tells who lived five years in this
+hole and who lived twelve years under<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</a></span>
+those steps. You get to have such a
+contempt for people who were in
+prison only one or two years over here&mdash;as
+if they ought to be ashamed of only
+having been in such a short time.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</a></span>
+There is a ghostly, ghastly museum in
+Mont-Saint-Michel where the visitors
+walk through an unlighted gallery and
+look in at wax victims doing different
+things in a very thoughtful manner&mdash;all
+but one man who walked on the sand
+and was overtaken by the tide, and <i>he</i>
+looks anything but thoughtful. The
+best was the battle, which was very
+realistic and must have been very trying
+to the leaders; for how could they get
+absorbed in a fight when the tide would
+drown them if they kept on a minute
+too long? There was a man who
+thought he would escape, and dug a
+way out with his nails, taking a short
+life-time to the task; and then he found
+he'd dug in instead of out, and, after letting
+himself down with a rope, he came<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</a></span>
+to a bottom all covered with skeletons.
+I can assure you that I was glad we were
+all together and that Lee had my arm
+tight, for the scenes were awful, and I
+grew so sick toward the last that when
+we came down at the end and found
+Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss
+Clara Emily, I nearly screamed. They
+had all come while we were above, and
+Emily and some men were out walking
+on the sand. Clara is somewhat better;
+but I think she is even more sincere
+than usual this time. In her locket
+she has some plaster from the wall that
+she heard through, and she says she
+sleeps with it pressed to her lips. And
+I <i>know</i> that Miss Clara Emily is going
+to do everything in the world to get
+Uncle, for Emily says she was traveling<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</a></span>
+just with a little hand-satchel, and now
+she insists on a suit-case. Oh, dear, I
+don't know what to do; and Lee is
+tired of the situation, and wants to go
+yachting, and I want to go with him.
+It would be so lovely off yachting with
+Lee; and the yacht is anchored where
+we can see her from the city walls.
+Lee is forever pointing to her. He
+says Mr. Stowell would let him have
+her for a month, any day.</p>
+
+<p>We passed the Brewers on our way to
+Mont-Saint-Michel, but they must have
+seen the Kingsleys and gone back.
+Mrs. Brewer told me in Vire that they
+could never meet the Kingsleys again;
+she said that Mr. Brewer said if he
+should meet Clara he knew he should
+explode. I don't think that Mr.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</a></span>
+Brewer has much heart or he never
+would have called poor Clara a Yellow
+Kid; I've known Clara ever since I
+was a baby, and it never struck me that
+she looked like that till she told me
+that Mr. Brewer said so.</p>
+<p>We all took the tram-ride to Rocabey
+yesterday, but one is so afraid that a
+wave will wash over the car and drench
+every one with spray that it isn't much
+fun. The tide is so funny all along
+this coast, because the coast is so level
+that a foot of water covers a mile or so,
+and when a wave starts to come in
+there's nothing to stop it at all. I
+don't think that St. Malo is very interesting,
+but perhaps that is just Uncle
+and Miss Clara Emily. He sends her
+violets, and I know it is he, for it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</a></span>
+couldn't be Mr. Peters or Mr. Stowell,
+and it wouldn't be Jim Freeman or
+Scott McCarthy. She wears them
+pinned on in such a funny way.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs29" id="gs29"></a>
+<img src="images/gs29.png" width="450" height="426" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;Uncle sitting on the
+ramparts with Miss Clara Emily&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+<br>
+
+
+<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Edna has sent me
+the letter about your coming over, and
+I am so relieved. Perhaps you will
+get here in time to save Uncle from
+Miss Clara Emily; I do hope so.
+Edna's things must be lovely, and I
+read her letter to Lee. He says if
+I'm good I will have some things of
+my own some day, and I do hope so;
+but Uncle is so heavy on my mind that
+I cannot realize that I shall ever have
+any life except trying to keep him from<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</a></span>
+Miss Clara Emily. Mr. Peters is no
+good at all any more, and has a bad cold
+besides. He and Clara sit on the ramparts
+and gaze at the sea, and look as if
+they were two consolation prizes that
+the people who won didn't care
+enough about to take home with them.
+Lee says he never realized that Mr.
+Peters could peter out quite so completely.
+Lee wants to go yachting,
+and wants me to go, too, and I can't
+leave Uncle, and Uncle won't leave
+Miss Clara Emily. It's quite stupid
+here at St. Malo, and we want to go on;
+but Lee won't go on, and I'd rather
+stay in a stupid place with Lee than go
+anywhere without him. He's mad
+over the Kingsleys tagging along, because
+he likes Scott McCarthy less
+and less all the time. Scott walks on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</a></span>
+the other side of me sometimes, and
+Lee doesn't like it. I think land is
+getting on Lee's nerves, and he ought
+to go yachting; but life is such a tangle
+just now that I don't know what to do
+about anything. Miss Clara Emily is
+hemstitching a handkerchief, and I just
+know that it is for Uncle. Oh, dear.</p><br>
+
+<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p>
+<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Such an awful thing
+almost happened! Clara had a nightmare,
+and came near choking to death
+on Mr. Brewer's plaster&mdash;the locket,
+you know. Uncle says only a prompt,
+efficient, quick-witted, thoroughly capable
+nature like Miss Clara Emily's could
+have saved her. Oh, I just know he's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</a></span>
+becoming serious, and Lee says it's just
+tommy-rot about the efficiency, because
+all in the world that Miss Clara Emily
+did was to jerk the locket up by the
+chain; and she did that in such an
+awfully quick way that poor Clara says
+she's cured of Mr. Brewer forever.
+She will have to eat soup through a
+china straw for several days.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle wants to go to Carnac and see
+the ruins of the Stone Age, and he and
+Miss Clara Emily are mapping out a
+trip. I'm sure I don't know what I'll
+do, for Scott McCarthy has bet Mr.
+Stowell ten dollars that Uncle gets
+"hooked" in Carnac. Lee told me, and
+Lee himself is provisioning the yacht,
+and says he's cock-sure that he eats
+some of those provisions aboard of her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</a></span>
+himself. Emily doesn't want to go to
+Carnac, and Jim Freeman says it isn't
+any automobile country, on account of
+the relics of the Stone Age being so
+thick in the roads.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p>
+<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Why didn't you
+write me that Mrs. Whalen was coming
+abroad? She arrived last night on
+the Jersey boat, and saw Uncle and
+Miss Clara Emily on the ramparts
+through her marine glasses. She hunted
+us up at once, for she says that affair
+must stop right where it is. She asked
+if you approved of Lee, and when I
+told her that you did, she said then she
+had nothing to say. Lee introduced<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</a></span>
+her to Mr. Peters, and she sent him
+straight to bed and had them poultice
+his chest and mustard-plaster his back,
+for she says his cold may run into anything.
+I took her up to Clara, and she
+sent out for sweet oil, and stopped the
+china straw, and set her to gargling.
+She says it's awful the amount she
+finds to do everywhere she goes, and
+she was in a train accident before she
+came to the steamer, and you ought to
+hear how she chopped people out. The
+shade in my room didn't work, and she
+put a chair on a wash-stand, and fixed
+it with a screw-driver that she carries
+in her pocket. Jim Freeman wants her
+to go under the automobile with him;
+but she says since she's a widow she
+never goes anywhere alone with one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</a></span>
+man. Uncle and Miss Clara Emily
+came in just then, and the effect was
+paralyzing. Uncle turned red, and poor
+Miss Clara Emily nearly sank to the
+floor. Mrs. Whalen advanced toward
+them as if she were a general leading a
+cavalry charge afoot, and said: "Well,
+so the old folks have been out sunning
+themselves!" Did you ever hear of
+anything more cruel? Miss Clara
+Emily looked blue with rage, and said
+she must go to Clara, and Mrs. Whalen
+said: "John, come with me," and took
+Uncle off behind some palms, and Lee
+and I went away so as not to be anywhere
+when he came out.</p>
+
+<p>We didn't come back until nearly
+six, and Lee said he supposed we'd
+find Uncle and Mr. Peters learning to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</a></span>
+play "old maid"; but when we came
+in, Uncle was reading a New York
+paper about a month old, and Mrs.
+Whalen had gone out with Scott
+McCarthy to buy Clara a hot-water
+bag. Miss Clara Emily was upstairs
+packing, to take Clara to a specialist
+somewhere else. Mrs. Whalen came
+to my room after dinner, and said I
+must rub kerosene or vaseline into my
+hair every night for a month. I don't
+want to, but I'm so grateful about Uncle
+that I'll pour a lamp over myself if she
+wants me to. Uncle came to my room
+a while later and said: "Hum!" and
+shook his watch, and held it to his ear.
+I don't think he liked being broken up
+with Miss Clara Emily, but he only
+said that he was going out on the yacht<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</a></span>
+to-morrow (that's to-day), and for me
+to consider myself in Mrs. Whalen's
+charge for the time being.</p>
+
+<p>He went away early this morning
+with Mr. Peters and Jim Freeman and
+Lee, and Mrs. Whalen and I saw the
+Kingsleys off for Rennes at noon. I'm
+sure Miss Clara Emily felt dreadfully
+over Uncle, and Emily says she's more
+than ever ashamed of having such an
+aunt. Emily told me that if an Englishman
+came on this afternoon's boat from
+Jersey, to tell him they'd gone to Dol.
+She didn't want him in Rennes, because
+she knows two French officers in
+Rennes. It was not a very nice day
+for traveling, for there is such a wind
+they won't be able to have the windows
+down at all, and you know it's only<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</a></span>
+fun when you have the windows down.
+Mrs. Whalen says she'd have the
+windows down anyway; she says she'd
+like to see the Frenchman that she
+wouldn't put a window down in his
+face, if she felt like it. I asked her
+where she was going next, and she said
+she had no idea, but she thought to
+Dol and Mont-Saint-Michel, as long as
+she is so near. She says it was a stroke
+of luck her happening here just in time
+to save Uncle; she's positive he was
+holding her hand through the marine
+glasses. She says it's good she came
+about Mr. Peters, too, not to speak of
+Clara.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs30" id="gs30"></a>
+<img src="images/gs30.png" width="450" height="497" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;Mrs. Whalen has just come
+in to say she&#39;s going to Dol&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+<p>It keeps blowing more, and Scott
+McCarthy says that they'll be out all
+night. Lee will like that, and Uncle<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</a></span>
+won't, and Uncle will see that Lee likes
+it and then he won't like Lee. Oh,
+dear! But I mustn't mind anything
+as long as Miss Clara Emily is gone.</p>
+
+<p>Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say
+that she's going to Dol, so as to see the
+tide come in at Mont-Saint-Michel,
+and to measure out the ginger so I can
+make Mr. Peters the tea. I'm sure
+I'm glad she is going, for she makes
+me so tired and nervous, always hopping
+up to fix something with her screw-driver,
+and I want to wash the petroleum
+out of my hair before Lee comes
+back. He doesn't like the smell of
+petroleum at all. I offered to help her
+pack, but she doesn't pack. She wears
+a sort of night-gown for underwaist and
+petticoat together, and the front of her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</a></span>
+blouse has pockets inside for all her
+toilet things. She says she washes one
+garment every night, and buys a clean
+handkerchief each Saturday and Wednesday,
+and has a pocket for her letter of
+credit sewed to her corset. I think it
+is awful to be so very convenient.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Later.</i></p>
+
+
+<p>She went and never said a thing about
+me, for it left me all alone with Scott
+McCarthy, and I know Lee won't like
+that at all. The mail came, and I
+thought I'd better say I had a headache
+and come up here to stay alone till Uncle
+comes back. I had all your letters
+and Edna's. Edna is so happy, and
+everything goes so smooth for her and
+Harry that I'm almost sorry some<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</a></span>
+days that I'm Uncle's favorite. Lee
+wants to tell Uncle right out and be
+done with it; but I want to wait for a
+favorable time, and every time that
+things begin to look favorable something
+unexpected happens to make him
+say "Hum." It is so trying. Edna
+says she's getting a lot of things twice
+over so that I can have half, and she says
+she thinks we ought to be coming back
+so as to meet you. I can't make her
+understand how helpless I am, for I
+can't do anything with Uncle unless
+I'm alone with him enough to make
+him think that I want to do something
+else. And Lee thinks it is an outrage
+and says he has rights, too. I do think
+that if I didn't love Lee I would be
+really glad to have the world all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</a></span>
+women, men are so difficult to get
+along with.</p>
+
+<p>But, you know, no matter what I say,
+I'm having a lovely time after all, and
+I <i>am</i> grateful to Uncle for having
+brought us.</p>
+
+<p class="rtxhead"> Lovingly, </p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p>
+
+<p>P. S. It is ten o'clock, and the yacht
+never came in. If Uncle gets seasick
+in a storm, he'll never want to lay
+eyes on Lee again, and he'll <i>never</i> forgive
+me.</p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="XIV" id="XIV"></a>XIV</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p>
+<br>
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Carnac.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: I'm just about
+in despair, and Lee doesn't
+know where I am. We
+reached Carnac last night, and Uncle
+is "hum-ming" like a top, so to speak.
+But I must tell you all about it.</p>
+
+<p>The yacht got too far out, and the
+new thumb-screw, or whatever it is on
+a yacht, stuck, and they blew and
+pitched until they pitched on to the
+Island of Jersey, where Lee and
+Uncle went ashore for Lee to send a
+machinist aboard. While Lee was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</a></span>
+busy, Uncle just quietly went aboard
+the Jersey boat and came back to St.
+Malo without saying please or thank
+you to a soul. He walked in on me
+and told me we were to leave for Dol
+the next day, and for Heaven's sake not
+to remind him of Aunt Jane by asking
+questions. I was dreadfully upset, but
+of course I never thought for a minute
+of reminding him of Aunt Jane, so I
+packed that evening and left a letter
+for Lee telling him please not to be
+vexed. We took an early train for Dol
+(it's always Dol in Brittany), and in
+Dol we changed for Rennes. Of
+course I thought that Uncle was chasing
+Miss Clara Emily when I saw the
+train marked Rennes, but I didn't dare
+say a word, for he never spoke but once<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</a></span>
+between Dol and Rennes, and that time
+all he said was "Hum."</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;">
+<a name="gs31" id="gs31"></a>
+<img src="images/gs31.png" width="250" height="271" alt="A Street in Auray" title="">
+<span class="caption">A Street in Auray</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>We reached Rennes, and I thought
+we would go to a hotel; but we
+changed cars again&mdash;this time for Redon.
+Uncle spoke again, and asked me if I
+had the Gaelic grammar handy. I
+said no, and he said "Hum." Then<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</a></span>
+we reached Redon and changed cars
+again for Auray. Going to Auray,
+Uncle asked me what became of Mrs.
+Whalen, and when I told him that she
+went to Mont-Saint-Michel, he said her
+husband was a lucky man to be dead.
+Then we came to Auray and changed
+cars for Plouharnel, and I began to
+wonder why we didn't run off the end
+of Brittany into the sea. We reached
+Plouharnel about four in the afternoon,
+and took a tram for Carnac
+at once, and when we reached Carnac
+Uncle said to pardon the personality of
+the statement, but that he never again
+would try to keep up with the eternal
+activity of a young person. I thought
+that that was pretty hard when I didn't
+even know where we were going, but I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</a></span>
+didn't say anything, and when he went
+to wash, I gave the waiter an extra tip
+to feed us quickly. After Uncle ate,
+we went out and walked around Carnac
+a very little and saw all the people in
+their black velvet hat-ribbons and short
+jackets; but when I said they looked
+picturesque, Uncle said that they looked
+like darned fools, so we came home,
+and now we are going to bed. I have
+written Lee, but I don't know when he
+will get it, because of course it will
+have to go backward through all these
+changes.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs32" id="gs32"></a>
+<img src="images/gs32.png" width="450" height="348" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;When he went to wash I
+gave the waiter an extra tip to feed us quickly&quot;</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+<br>
+
+
+
+<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p>
+<p class="rthead"><i>Carnac.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Uncle woke up ever
+so much better this morning, and told<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</a></span>
+me that he pitied any poor wretch who
+has ever been sicker than he was on
+"that d&mdash;&mdash;d yacht." He said, too,
+that any one who could suppose for a
+minute that he should have any serious
+intentions toward such a woman as Miss
+Clara Emily would be even more of an
+utter idiot than Mrs. Whalen appeared
+to be. He said, too, that the ticket-agent
+who told him that Carnac was
+an easy place to go to, ought to be
+strangled by the first traveler who got
+back alive from the effects of believing
+him to be telling the truth.
+He said, too, that if he survived Europe
+and reached home again, he'd get in
+a bathtub and know when he was well
+off for one while. He said, too, that
+when he had once looked around the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</a></span>
+Stone Age he was going to head for
+Paris with a speed which he rather
+guessed would cause the natives to open
+their eyes.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;">
+<a name="gs33" id="gs33"></a>
+<img src="images/gs33.png" width="300" height="417" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast&quot;</span>
+</div>
+
+<p>Then he went to his room and broke<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</a></span>
+the bell-rope ordering breakfast.</p>
+
+<p>After breakfast we went to walk and
+saw more stone walls than I ever saw
+before. There isn't a wooden house or
+fence in the whole of Brittany, I believe.
+We walked to a tiny village
+called St. Columban's, and climbed the
+tower of the little church. There was
+a fine view, but Uncle said he could
+smell the oysters for miles around, so we
+came down right off and walked back.
+There was a girl who said she would
+drive us all over in the afternoon, and
+let us take the night train from Auray;
+so we returned to the hotel and had an
+early lunch, and then she came to the
+door with a shaky old thing like a carry-all
+and a fat little horse, and we started.</p>
+
+<p>Mama, you never saw anything like<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</a></span>
+Uncle. Everything was wrong at first&mdash;every
+living thing, and the one saving
+grace of the situation was that the girl
+who drove couldn't speak English.
+But after a while we came to the first
+menhirs, and Uncle just about went
+into a fit. They are the most curious
+things I ever saw, for they stand in
+parallel rows miles long and every one
+is resting on its little end and has been
+resting on its little end for thousands of
+years. At the first glance Uncle said
+they were arranged so just for tourists;
+but he got out and walked around them
+and tried to shake one or two, and then
+he said he wouldn't have missed seeing
+them for the world and that he should
+never regret coming to Europe as long
+as he might live hereafter. He was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</a></span>
+perfectly lovely for a while after that,
+and we looked at dolmens and cromlechs
+the whole afternoon, and sometimes
+we thought they were hay-mows
+when we saw them far ahead and
+sometimes we thought they were
+houses. We only had one unfortunate
+time, and that was when we had to
+ferry over the Crach. The ferry was
+on the other side, and that upset Uncle
+right away and he asked me if my experience
+had ever led me to a ferry that
+was <i>not</i> on the other side. They took
+nearly half an hour to bring it across,
+and Uncle said that it would be a great
+day for Europe if she ever learned what
+t-i-m-e spelt, and he looked at me as if
+I were Europe while he said it. They
+are building a bridge over the Crach,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_311" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</a></span>
+and as soon as we embarked on the
+rickety old ferry, it blew in between
+two of the piers and wedged tight, with
+us on it. Uncle asked me if I was
+going to have the face to tell him that
+we were not stuck and were not going
+to be stuck there indefinitely, and I
+really didn't know <i>what</i> to answer.
+The men in the boat hollered and hauled
+and swore in Gaelic, and finally we
+were free for fifty feet, and then the
+tide blew us in between two other
+piers. Uncle said he could but feel
+that being stuck twice on the same
+ferry was a poor reward for a kind-hearted
+man who was trying to the
+best of his ability to give some species
+of instructive amusement to an innocent
+girl, and then he looked severely at the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</a></span>
+setting sun while we came loose again
+and progressed fifty feet more. A great,
+thick wave came then and broke over
+the horse and smashed us in so hard and
+fast that I was honestly scared. Uncle
+was too mad for words. He said that
+he would just make one remark, and
+that was that if he ever gave me a
+chance to beguile him away from civilization
+again he would cheerfully and
+contentedly and silently end his days on
+any ferry which I would choose to
+designate to him. It was getting cold,
+and I was so tired from yesterday that
+I just shut my eyes and did not speak
+at all, and when we came loose, Uncle
+spoke to me quite gently and was very
+nice all the rest of the way.</p>
+
+<p>We were too late for the train and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_313" id="Page_313">[Pg 313]</a></span>
+have come back to Carnac. I feel
+about done up.</p><br>
+
+
+<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p>
+<p class="rthead"><i>Carnac.</i></p>
+
+
+<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Lee and Edna and
+Mrs. Clary are all here. Just listen.
+Lee looks like a ghost, and it seems that
+no one noticed Uncle go aboard that
+Jersey boat because Uncle went aboard
+by a gang-plank that's forbidden, and
+he thought that he was drowned, and
+they dragged the dock and sent down
+divers, and finally came over to St.
+Malo to break the news to me, having
+telegraphed Mrs. Clary and Edna
+to come at once. He reached St.
+Malo only to find us gone, and they
+have been tracing us with the automobile<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_314" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</a></span>
+ever since. Lee is so glad Uncle
+is alive that he keeps grabbing his hand
+and shaking it and shaking it, and Uncle
+says I must not mention it to Lee, for
+it might go to his head, but that he is
+one of the few young men who have a
+heart in the right place, and that he has
+always had a special fondness for him
+ever since he was a baby. Lee thinks
+that under the circumstances we had
+better tell Uncle to-night, and we are
+going to. I feel rather nervous, but
+Lee says he can never stand anything
+like these three days again.</p><br>
+
+
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_315" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</a></span></p>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;">
+<a name="gs34" id="gs34"></a>
+<img src="images/gs34.png" width="450" height="331" alt="" title="">
+<span class="caption">&quot;He told Mrs. Clary that he had
+foreseen this finale to our trip all along,&quot; etc.</span>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_316" id="Page_316">[Pg 316]</a></span></p>
+</div>
+
+
+<p class="rthead"><i>Midnight of the same day.</i></p>
+
+<p><span class="smcap">My own dearest Mama</span>: Uncle says
+yes! He says he has been carefully
+scheming and planning to bring Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_317" id="Page_317">[Pg 317]</a></span>
+and me together for years. He says
+there are traits in Lee which are so like
+his own that he cannot but admit that
+Lee is one of the very few men in this
+world calculated to make a woman
+happy. He told Mrs. Clary that he
+had foreseen this finale to our trip all
+along, and I do believe that he really
+believes himself.</p>
+
+<p>The Brewers arrived about nine
+o'clock to-night, and they are so delighted.
+Mr. Brewer is so kind; he says
+Uncle must go to Locmariaquer and
+around that way with them. I reckon
+he thinks I need a rest. We told them
+about Clara and the locket, and I
+thought that they would die. Mr.
+Brewer says that never a day passes
+without their remembering something<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_318" id="Page_318">[Pg 318]</a></span>
+fresh which she must have overheard.</p>
+
+<p>I am so happy over Uncle that I
+hardly know what to do. He says it
+has been the pleasantest trip of his life,
+this little tour with me, and that Lee
+must never cease to treat me with the
+tender care which he has given me all
+along. He says Lee must remember
+what a sensitive organization a woman
+has and never indulge in temper or impatience
+or strong language or sarcasm.
+Lee is very nice and says "Yes, sir,"
+and nods every time. I do think Lee
+gets nicer and nicer all the time.</p>
+
+<p>We start toward Paris to-morrow.</p>
+
+<p class="rtxhead"> Your awfully happy, </p>
+<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br>
+
+
+
+<hr style="width: 45%;">
+<h2><a name="XV" id="XV"></a>XV</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_319" id="Page_319">[Pg 319]</a></span>
+
+<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN WELL CONTENT</p>
+<br>
+
+<p><span class="dropcap">"W</span><span class="smcap">ell</span>, Mrs. Brewer, this is
+certainly the only way to
+travel, after all. Comfortable,
+clean,&mdash;for if there is a smell, some other
+fellow gets it,&mdash;and no jolting. And
+now that I have that dear child established
+and off my mind, I feel that I can
+conscientiously give myself a few days of
+free and easy pleasure. I've done
+nothing up to now but consider Yvonne
+and her needs, mental and material, and
+although I love the child like my own,
+still I cannot but admit that a young
+girl is a great care. And of course you<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_320" id="Page_320">[Pg 320]</a></span>
+never can be positive that the right man
+will turn up. However, all's well
+that ends well, and I'm happy to say
+that I'm ending this little trip extremely
+well content. Some men might
+regret not having seen more, but never
+me. You see, Brewer, I am one of the
+easy-going, placid, serene type, and
+whatever turns up suits me perfectly. I
+guess if you ask my family far and wide
+you won't find one member to deny
+that statement, or if you do, you will
+just have the kindness to let me know
+who it is and I'll take steps to prevent
+their ever expressing such an opinion a
+second time.</p>
+
+<p>"Fine view here. Good road. Believe
+I'll have a machine of my own when I
+get back to America. What's that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_321" id="Page_321">[Pg 321]</a></span>
+island off at sea? Belle-Isle, eh? Dumas'
+Belle-Isle? Very interesting.
+We might make a little excursion out
+there, calling ourselves the Three
+Mousquetaires, eh? I'll be d'Artagnan;
+I always fancy d'Artdagnan. I tell
+you, Brewer, something martial gets
+up and stirs around in my bosom as a
+result of this trip&mdash;a sort of dare-devil,
+Robert-the-Devil, piratical, Crusader
+sort of a thrill. I shall never be sorry
+that I came. The trip has not been
+one of unmitigated joy. We have
+borne our crosses,&mdash;many crosses,&mdash;and
+yet I will remark&mdash;and I'll swear it,
+too, if you like,&mdash;that I'm glad I
+came.</p>
+
+<p>"I've seen thoroughly every place
+I've been in. I've made my niece<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_322" id="Page_322">[Pg 322]</a></span>
+enjoy life, and I've made every one
+else with whom I came in contact
+enjoy life. I've won for her just the
+one man calculated to make her happy,
+and now I am headed for the one land
+calculated to make me happy.</p>
+
+<p>"I'm glad that I came, I'm glad
+that I came."</p>
+
+<h3>THE END.</h3>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN ***
+
+***** This file should be named 35574-h.htm or 35574-h.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/5/7/35574/
+
+Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
+
+
+</pre>
+
+</body>
+</html>
diff --git a/35574-h/images/cover.png b/35574-h/images/cover.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e46080c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/cover.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs01.png b/35574-h/images/gs01.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..cbf04bd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs01.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs02.png b/35574-h/images/gs02.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6302bcf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs02.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs03.png b/35574-h/images/gs03.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6d7c112
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs03.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs04.png b/35574-h/images/gs04.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7add78a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs04.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs05.png b/35574-h/images/gs05.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f52be52
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs05.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs06.png b/35574-h/images/gs06.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4f2a40f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs06.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs07.png b/35574-h/images/gs07.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ee36e03
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs07.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs08.png b/35574-h/images/gs08.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f39654f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs08.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs09.png b/35574-h/images/gs09.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ae196aa
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs09.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs10.png b/35574-h/images/gs10.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6066e60
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs10.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs11.png b/35574-h/images/gs11.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1f43c60
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs11.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs12.png b/35574-h/images/gs12.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2addf6d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs12.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs13.png b/35574-h/images/gs13.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0dfe5f5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs13.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs14.png b/35574-h/images/gs14.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2352634
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs14.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs15.png b/35574-h/images/gs15.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..72bbe3b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs15.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs16.png b/35574-h/images/gs16.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..818ce27
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs16.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs17.png b/35574-h/images/gs17.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a3c308c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs17.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs18.png b/35574-h/images/gs18.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..99a5591
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs18.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs19.png b/35574-h/images/gs19.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3fa518c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs19.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs20.png b/35574-h/images/gs20.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4496b1f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs20.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs21.png b/35574-h/images/gs21.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..dac76bf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs21.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs22.png b/35574-h/images/gs22.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b712030
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs22.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs23.png b/35574-h/images/gs23.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f3181a3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs23.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs24.png b/35574-h/images/gs24.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0f54d6a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs24.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs25.png b/35574-h/images/gs25.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..60465d5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs25.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs26.png b/35574-h/images/gs26.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..bae7605
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs26.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs27.png b/35574-h/images/gs27.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5ab562c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs27.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs28.png b/35574-h/images/gs28.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1b91471
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs28.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs29.png b/35574-h/images/gs29.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..846ccd6
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs29.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs30.png b/35574-h/images/gs30.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9bde8be
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs30.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs31.png b/35574-h/images/gs31.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..171df36
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs31.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs32.png b/35574-h/images/gs32.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..01b25f2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs32.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs33.png b/35574-h/images/gs33.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f2bdcea
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs33.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/gs34.png b/35574-h/images/gs34.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3acfbdb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/gs34.png
diff --git a/35574-h/images/tp_gs_decal.png b/35574-h/images/tp_gs_decal.png
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fcf0cd5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574-h/images/tp_gs_decal.png
diff --git a/35574.txt b/35574.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a9189f5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,3791 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Seeing France with Uncle John
+
+Author: Anne Warner
+
+Illustrator: May Wilson Preston
+
+Release Date: March 14, 2011 [EBook #35574]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  Transcribers note:
+                     1. A minor error has been corrected in Chapter V
+                        (Section on Beauvais) luuch changed to lunch.
+                     2. Ligature [oe] replaced with oe.
+
+
+
+
+  _Seeing France With Uncle John_
+
+
+
+
+  [Illustration: "I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while
+  he kept up a running contradiction of everything I read."]
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+  _Seeing France With Uncle John_
+
+  _By_
+
+  _Anne Warner_
+
+  _Author of "Susan Clegg and her friend Mrs. Lathrop," etc._
+
+  _With Illustrations by_
+
+  _May Wilson Preston_
+
+  [Illustration]
+
+  _New York The Century Co. 1906_
+
+
+         *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+  Copyright, 1906, by THE CENTURY CO.
+
+  _Published October, 1906_
+
+  THE DE VINNE PRESS
+
+
+
+
+_List of Illustrations_
+
+
+                                                                  PAGE
+  "I held the guide-book and read the explanations,
+      while he kept up a running contradiction of
+      everything I read"                                _Frontispiece_
+
+  "She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet"                           8
+
+  "While we walk"                                                    9
+
+  Rouen--Maison du XV siecle                                        24
+
+  "'Richard Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh?'"                         33
+
+  "'So that's the clock?'"                                          41
+
+  "'There's been no tampering with _this_ ruin'"                    65
+
+  "'This is as good a time as we'll have to study up on Gisors'"    79
+
+  "'Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt'"                  93
+
+  Beauvais                                                          96
+
+  "'What's that chopped-off creation before us?'"                   99
+
+  "'Look how mad that old lady is'"                                105
+
+  "We found our beloved relative"                                  116
+
+  "She took hold of our hands as if she'd been our long-lost
+      mother for years"                                            121
+
+  Dreux                                                            150
+
+  "Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a
+      dollar a day, and Uncle said, 'Great Scott!'"                157
+
+  Falaise                                                          160
+
+  "Paid the man at the entrance and let him go"                    163
+
+  "The coming down was awful"                                      168
+
+  "'I'm happy that it will be out of the question for me ever to
+      travel again'"                                               177
+
+  "Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and  I know she didn't
+      like it by the way she looked at him"                        195
+
+  Caen                                                             198
+
+  "He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot even think
+      calmly of a stair-case yet"                                  205
+
+  Bayeux                                                           216
+
+  "And it was Lee"                                                 221
+
+  "We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along for
+      dear life"                                                   228
+
+  "Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest"               245
+
+  In Mont-Saint-Michel                                             276
+
+  "Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily"            281
+
+  "Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say she is going to Dol"        293
+
+  A Street in Auray                                                301
+
+  "When he went to wash I gave the waiter an extra tip to feed
+      us quickly"                                                  303
+
+  "Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast"                         307
+
+  "He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale to our
+      trip all along," etc.                                        315
+
+
+
+
+_Seeing France With Uncle John_
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Seeing France With Uncle John
+
+
+
+
+I
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                              _Second day out at sea._
+
+Dear Mama: We did get off at last, about four in the afternoon, but you
+never imagined anything like the day we had with Uncle John. It was
+awful, and, as luck would have it, he just happened to go aft or
+sou'west, or whatever it is on shipboard, in time to see them drop his
+trunk into the hold, and they let it fall from such a height that he
+swore for an hour. I don't see why Uncle is so unreasonable; a Russian
+gentleman had the locks broken to both his trunks and just smiled, and a
+very lovely Italian lady had her trunk caved in by the hoisting-rope and
+only shrugged her shoulders; but Uncle turned the whole deck fairly
+black and blue on account of a little fall into the hold. If Lee had
+only been along to soothe him down! But Lee is in London by this time. I
+do think he might have waited and gone with us, but Uncle says he's glad
+he didn't, because he says he has more than half an idea that Lee's in
+love with me, and that no girl alive could be happy with him. I wish
+Uncle liked Lee better. I wish Lee wouldn't slap him on the back and
+call him "old boy" the way he does.
+
+Mrs. Clary doesn't like it because she has to sit next to the doctor and
+talk English to him, and he can't talk English. She says whenever she
+goes on board a liner the doctor always spots her as intelligent-looking,
+and has her put next to him for English purposes. She says she's made
+seven trips as nursery-governess to a doctor with linguistic aspirations.
+The consequence is, she has most of her meals on deck with a man named
+Mr. Chopstone. Uncle doesn't like Mr. Chopstone, because he says he has
+a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Chopstone admires Edna. He says Edna could
+never be happy with a man like Mr. Chopstone.
+
+More later.
+
+
+                                                     _Fourth day out._
+
+I've been writing Lee; I can mail it at Plymouth. It does seem to me as
+if Lee might have waited and gone with us.
+
+We are nicely adjusted now, and Uncle has had his trunk brought to his
+room, and has examined the corners and found them intact; so now the
+trunk is off his mind. But he has almost had fits over a man named
+Monsieur Sibilet, so the situation has been about as brimstony as ever.
+M. Sibilet is a Frenchman going back to France, but his chair is next to
+Mrs. Clary's, and Uncle says steamer-chairs are never accidents, but
+are always premeditated and with intent to kill. He asked Mrs. Clary if
+she couldn't see that no woman could ever be happy with a dancing
+fan-tan like Sibilet. We didn't know what a "fan-tan" was, but we all
+agreed with Uncle's premises as to poor monsieur; and then it developed
+that there is a Mme. Sibilet deathly sick down below, and Uncle said
+that he had known it all the time and was only joking.
+
+Edna and Harry are very happy, but they have to be awfully careful,
+because Uncle says he has a half-fledged notion that Harry is paying
+attention to Edna, and that he won't allow anything of the kind--not for
+one York second. We don't know what a "York second" is, and we haven't
+asked. Uncle plays poker nights, and we make the most of it. There is a
+nice Yale man on board, and I walk around with him. His name is Edgar.
+Uncle says he looks as if he had his bait out for a fortune, but Mrs.
+Clary says to never mind it--to go right on walking. She lies still
+while we walk, and talks to M. Sibilet in French.
+
+[Illustration: "She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet"]
+
+Uncle says he is the head of this expedition, and there's to be no
+foolishness. He says it's all rot about a man not being able to see
+through women, and that Edna and I needn't expect to keep any secrets
+from him. I do wish Lee was here to soothe him down. He was so furious
+to-day because he shut up his wash-stand and let the tooth-powder slide
+to perdition. M. Sibilet offered him an extra box of his own, but Uncle
+wasn't a bit grateful. He says he is sure M. Sibilet is in love with
+Mrs. Clary now, or why under the sun should he offer him his
+tooth-powder? He says he thinks it's disgraceful, considering poor Mme.
+Sibilet, and he took mine instead.
+
+More later.
+
+[Illustration: "While we walk"]
+
+
+                                                      _Sixth day out._
+
+I do wish we were in Havre, or anywhere where Uncle had more room. The
+third officer invited him up on the bridge yesterday, and Uncle says you
+needn't tell him that any third officer in this world ever would invite
+him up to the bridge unless he had his eye on Edna or me. Uncle says for
+Edna and me to remember that old uncles have eyes as well as young third
+officers, and to bear in mind that it would be a dog's life to be
+married to a third officer. I'm beginning to be very glad, indeed, that
+Lee took another steamer; I reckon Lee saw how it would be. Uncle says
+he'd like to know what we took a slow steamer for, anyhow. He says it
+would have been more comfortable to have all been in death agonies and
+to have been in Havre by this time. He was terribly upset to-day by Mme.
+Sibilet's coming on deck and proving to be an old lady with white hair
+and the mother of monsieur instead of the wife. He says you needn't talk
+to him about French honor after this. We don't know what the connection
+is between poor old Mme. Sibilet and French honor, but we think it best
+not to ask. The truth is, Uncle lost all patience with M. Sibilet the
+day it rained and pitched--I think it was the third day out. He never
+did like him very much, anyhow. Mrs. Clary wanted to sit in the wind
+that day, and she and monsieur sat in the wind until the rain grew so
+bad that they were absolutely driven to come around and sit by Uncle,
+under the lee of the port, or whatever it is on board ship. Monsieur
+lugged Mrs. Clary's chair because he couldn't find a steward, and he
+brought it around by the smoking-room and the whole length of the deck,
+with the steamer pitching so that half the time he was on top of the
+chair, and the other half of the time the chair was on top of him. There
+was no one on deck but us, on account of the storm, and I thought we
+should die laughing, because there were forty empty chairs under shelter
+already. Uncle waited until, with a final slip and a slide, the poor man
+landed the chair, and then he screamed: "I say, Sibbilly, just take the
+cards out and change _them_ another time. That's the way we Americans
+do."
+
+You should have seen poor monsieur's face! Uncle said the whole affair
+gave him a queer feeling as to what might be in store for us in France.
+He said if M. Sibilet was a sample Frenchman, he thought he wouldn't get
+off at Havre, after all.
+
+Mrs. Clary is in lots of trouble over the doctor. He comes up on deck
+and bothers her half to death, talking English. She can't understand his
+English, and M. Sibilet gets tired translating. M. Sibilet speaks seven
+languages. Uncle says that's nothing to his credit, however.
+
+More later.
+
+
+                                                      _Ninth day out._
+
+Uncle is in high spirits to-day, for he won the pool. He has been so
+disgusted because Mr. Edgar has won it three times. Uncle says that's no
+sign he'd be a good husband, though. I do think Uncle's logic is so very
+peculiar. He came into my state-room to-day and asked me if I didn't
+think the doctor was absolutely impertinent in the way he was pursuing
+Mrs. Clary. You'd have thought the doctor tore after her around the
+deck, to hear him. He said he expected to have trouble with Edna and me,
+but he never looked for Mrs. Clary to be a care. He said he didn't
+suppose she was over forty, but she ought to consider appearances more.
+He was quite put out, and I am gladder than ever that Lee isn't with us.
+
+We laughed ourselves half sick to-day over Mr. Chopstone. Uncle's
+port-hole doesn't work very easily, and Mr. Chopstone heard him talking
+about it to himself as he passed in the corridor, and he went in to help
+him. Uncle asked Mr. Chopstone if he had a crow-bar or a monkey-wrench
+with him, and Mr. Chopstone didn't have a crow-bar or a monkey-wrench
+with him, but said why not ring for the steward. Uncle wouldn't hear to
+the steward, and so they climbed on the divan together and tried to pry
+it with Uncle's hair-brush.
+
+The hair-brush broke, and Uncle went spinning, but Mr. Chopstone caught
+his cuff in the crack, and it tore, and half of his shirt-sleeve with a
+diamond cuff-link went to sea. At first we all felt awful about it, but
+he was so composed that Edna said he must be a millionaire, and Uncle
+said it must be a paste diamond. That is all only preliminary to the
+funny part. This afternoon we were lying in our chairs and Uncle was
+standing by the rail looking at a ship. All of a sudden he exclaimed,
+"Great Scott! Chopstone, if there isn't your cuff!" Mr. Chopstone made
+just one bound from his chair to the rail, and looked over so hard that
+his cap fell into the sea. Of course the mere idea of the cuff having
+sailed as fast as we did all day used us up completely, and Uncle in
+particular had to hang to the rail for support while he sort of wove
+back and forth in an ecstasy of speechless joy. Even M. Sibilet was
+overcome by mirth, although it turned out afterward that he thought the
+fun was on account of the lost cap. And then, when we got ourselves
+selves under control once more, Mr. Chopstone explained that what he had
+thought was that the cuff had caught somewhere on the outside of the
+steamer and that Uncle saw it hanging there. Edna says that it all
+shows that poor Mr. Chopstone is _not_ a millionaire, and Mrs. Clary
+says it proves, too, that it _was_ a real diamond.
+
+It is beginning to seem like a pretty long trip, and Mrs. Clary has
+started packing her trunk. The little flag that marks our progress
+across the chart is making Europe in great jumps, and we are all glad.
+Uncle gets more restless every day, and he says if the doctor don't quit
+coming up on deck to talk to Mrs. Clary, something will soon drop. The
+doctor is really very amusing; he says the first officer has a pet
+"marmadillo," but we cannot see it because it is too anxious. He means
+"frightened," it seems. Mr. Edgar is very nice; both he and Mr.
+Chopstone are going to Paris. Lee will be in Paris by Wednesday, I
+hope, and I most sincerely trust he will keep on the right side of
+Uncle.
+
+They say we will land early day after to-morrow. I can mail my letters
+in Plymouth to-morrow evening. Uncle says he's going express hereafter;
+he says no more dilly-dally voyages for him.
+
+
+                                                      _Tenth day out._
+
+What do you think! Uncle took me into the parlor after dinner to-night
+and told me that he wasn't going to Paris with the rest. He says he
+didn't come abroad to scurry around like a wild rabbit, and that he's
+going to stop in Havre for a day or two. He says Edna and I had better
+stay with him, as he can't think of our traveling with Mr. Edgar and
+Mr. Chopstone alone. I said, "But there's Mrs. Clary." And he said,
+"Yes; but you forget Sibbilly." I do think Uncle's logic is so
+remarkable.
+
+
+                                                   _Eleventh day out._
+
+Everybody is getting their trunks in from the baggage-room and running
+to the rail to look at ships. Uncle won the pool again to-day; he says
+this is one of the pleasantest trips he ever made, and he shook hands
+with M. Sibilet when he met him on deck this morning.
+
+Mrs. Clary is awfully upset over our staying in Havre, and she says if
+Lee is in Paris he won't like it, either. We expect a mail in Plymouth.
+
+
+                                                              _Later._
+
+The mail came, and I had a letter from Lee. He is going to Russia for a
+week, and he folded in an extra piece, saying to give Uncle the letter.
+It was a funny kind of letter, but of course it had to be a funny kind
+of letter if I was to give it to Uncle. I gave it to Uncle, and he said,
+"Hum!" and that was all. He says if Mr. Edgar or Mr. Chopstone stay in
+Havre he'll know the reason why. I do think Uncle might be more
+reasonable. Edna has been crying. She doesn't want to stay in Havre;
+she wants to go to Paris when Harry goes.
+
+                                           Yours with love, as ever,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+II
+
+UNCLE JOHN IN ROUEN
+
+
+                                                                9 A.M.
+
+"Well, girls, are you ready to get up and out and set about improving
+your minds? I've been reading the guide-book and spilling my coffee with
+trying to do two things at once, ever since eight o'clock. But what your
+Uncle John doesn't know about Rouen now isn't worth stopping to look up
+in the index. Why, I've even got the real French twang to the
+pronunciation. It's Rooank; only you stop short of the 'n' and the 'k,'
+so to speak. The waiter who brought my breakfast showed me how to do
+it--said he never saw a foreigner catch on to the trick so quick before.
+I gave him one of those slim little quarters they have here, and he was
+so pleased that he taught me how to say 'Joan of Arc' for nothing. It's
+Shondark--_Shondark_. I learned it in no time. Well, come on, if you're
+ready. I've been waiting almost an hour.
+
+[Illustration: Rouen--Maison du XV siecle]
+
+"I declare, but this fresh, free atmosphere is refreshing! As soon as
+you get outside of your bedroom door you begin to get the full benefit
+of the Continental climate. I presume, if you're poor, you get it as
+soon as you get outside of your bed clothes. Rather a medieval
+staircase, eh? And four orange-trees at the bottom to try and fool us
+into feeling balmy. However, I don't mind little discomforts: all I mind
+is being shut up on a ship with a darned fool like that man Sibbilly. I
+shouldn't wonder if his mother was his wife, after all. I could believe
+anything of him. I didn't like him.
+
+"We'll go to take in the cathedral first; it isn't far, and I've got it
+all by heart. Thirteenth century and unsymmetrical--you must remember
+that. There, that's it ahead there--with the scaffolding. They're
+bolstering it up somewhat, so as to keep on hooking tourists, I presume.
+The biggest tower is the Butter Tower, built out of paid-for permissions
+to eat butter in Lent. Rather a rough joke, its being so much the
+biggest, isn't it? The whole cathedral's lopsided from eating butter, so
+to speak. I believe it's the thing to stop in front and act as if you
+were overcome; so we'll just call a halt here and take in the general
+effect of the scaffolding.
+
+"Now we'll walk around the whole thing. I haven't come abroad to take
+life with a hop, skip, and jump; I've come to be thorough, and I want
+you girls to form the habit of being thorough, too. What I didn't like
+about that fellow Edgar was his not being thorough. When he went down to
+look at the ship's machinery he only stayed an hour. Now, I didn't go at
+all; but if I had gone, I should have stayed more than an hour. Good job
+of scaffolding, isn't it? You see, they make the scaffolding out of
+young trees withed together, and use them over and over. Economical.
+Just about what you'd expect of Sibbilly. Those gargoyles and saints
+around the top stick their heads out pretty interested-like, don't they?
+But their view is for the most part blocked. Now this cheerful old jail
+at the back is the palace of the archbishop. I wish, young ladies, that
+you would note those little bits of high windows and the good thick bars
+across them as illustrating the secure faith that the dead and gone
+archbishops had in their loving people. I'll bet there's been plenty of
+battering and rioting around under these walls, first and last; plenty
+of fists and sticks and stones. It's big, isn't it? Big as half a block,
+and things look so much bigger here than they do at home. They slide a
+roof up slanting and cock it full of little crooked windows, and you
+feel as if you must tip over backward to take in the top. I vow, I don't
+just see how it's done; but--oh, here's where we go in. This dark, damp
+little stone-paved alley is the celebrated 'Portail des Libraires,' so
+called because those arcades used to be full of book-stalls. We go along
+on the cobble-stones, throw ourselves hard against this little swinging
+door; it creaks, it yields, we enter--hush!
+
+"Great Scott, isn't it big, and _isn't_ it damp? Will you look up in
+that roof? I feel solemn in spite of myself; but, then, feeling solemn
+is no use: what we want to do is to find some one to open those big iron
+gates, for the most of what is to see is in back there. Edna, you ask
+that man how we can get hold of some other man. Well, what did he say?
+Said to ask the Swiss, did he? What does he mean by that? Is it a joke,
+or can't they trust a Frenchman with their old relics? I've been told
+that in Japanese banks they always have to have a Chinaman to handle the
+money, and maybe it's equally the thing in a French cathedral to have a
+Swiss look after the relics. But the guide-book never said a word about
+a Swiss: it said '_fee_,' and I've got my pocket full of them.
+
+"Well, where can we get a Swiss? I should think he'd be more handy than
+he appears to be. There's another man looking for him, too. He--Great
+Scott! if it isn't--no, that is impossible. Yes, it is!
+
+"I beg your pardon, sir, but is your name Porter? Yes? Robert
+Porter--Bobby Porter that went to the Washington School? Bob, do you
+remember me? Well, of all the larks!
+
+"Girls, this man and I went to school side by side for eight years, and
+he's the finest--my nieces, Bob. That's Edna and this is Yvonne,
+and--you don't say he's your son? Didn't know you ever married. Oh, I'll
+take your word for it, of course; but, I say, Bob, you've got to come
+and dine with us to-night. You must; I won't have it any other way. You
+and I'll have to just sit down and overhaul all our old memories
+together. Do you remember--but how do you come to be in Europe, anyhow;
+and what liner did you line up on? We had a beastly trip,--only came
+from Havre last night,--and, by the way, how in thunder can we get hold
+of the man who opens these iron gates? Everything in the place is back
+there.
+
+"Is that a Swiss--that splendid circus-chariot driver? Give you my word,
+I thought he was a cardinal! How much of a tip is that much gold lace
+going to look forward to getting? I wish he was plainer, somehow. I'll
+tell you, Bob; you pay, and I'll settle up later. I certainly am glad to
+see the gates open; I felt more like a serpent shut out of paradise than
+I ever expected to feel in all my life.
+
+"Well, now we begin. Who's buried here? Henry II of England, eh? I
+can't read Latin, so Henry's virtues and dates are all one to me. Which
+Henry was he, anyhow--the one with six wives or the one who never shed a
+smile? Either way, let's move on.
+
+"What comes next? Richard-Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh? Oh, only a statue
+of him; that's less interesting. I thought at last I was looking at
+Richard when he was himself again. What is our Swiss friend hissing
+about? Heart buried underneath? Whose heart?--Richard's? Ask if it's his
+bona fide heart or only a death-mask of it? Strikes me as a pretty big
+statue to put up to a heart, don't you think, Bob? But come on; I want
+to be looking at something else.
+
+[Illustration: "'Richard Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh?'"]
+
+"So this is the tomb of the husband of Diana of Poitiers? I didn't know
+she ever had a husband--thought she only had a king. I've never been
+brought up to think of Diana of Poitiers mourning a husband. But maybe
+she did, maybe she did. They say you must check your common sense at the
+hotel when you set out to inspect Europe, and I believe it--I believe
+it. It's a nice tomb, and if they kneel and mourn in a gown with a
+train, she certainly is doing it up brown. However, let's go on.
+
+"Two cardinals of Amboise kind of going in procession on their knees
+over their own dead bodies--or maybe it's only hearts again. Well, Bob,
+the Reformation was a great thing, after all, wasn't it? Must have felt
+fine to straighten up for a while. Stop a bit; the guide-book said
+there was something to examine about these two--wait till I find the
+place. Oh, well, never mind; I dare say a guide-book's very handy, but I
+move we quit this damp old hole, anyway. I wouldn't bother to come
+again. That's a sad thing about life, Bob; as soon as you get in front
+of anything and get a square look at it, you're ready to move on--at
+least I am.
+
+"What's he saying? Well, ask him again. Whose grave? Well, ask him
+again. Rollo's! What, Rollo that was 'At Work' and 'At Play' and at
+everything else when we were kids? Another? What other? Well, ask him.
+Rollo the Norman? I don't see anything very remarkable in a Norman being
+buried in Normandy, do you, Bob? When did he die? Well, _ask_ him. What
+are we paying him for, anyway? Died about 900, eh! And this church
+wasn't built till four hundred years later. Where did he spend the time
+while he was waiting to be buried? Well, ask him. I declare, if I could
+talk French, I bet I'd know something about things. You are the
+_dumbest_ lot! Here's Rollo lying around loose for as long as we've had
+America with us, and no one takes any interest in where. Is that the
+tomb he finally got into? Clever idea to have it so dark no one can see
+it, after all. I suppose he thinks we'll be impressed, but I ain't. I
+don't believe Rollo's in there, anyhow.
+
+"Come on; I'm tired of this old church. I move that we go out and look
+at the place where they burned Joan of Arc, or something else that is
+bright and cheerful. What's he saying? No, I don't want to see any
+treasury; I've done enough church-going for one week-day. Give him his
+money, Bob, and let's get out. You tell us where to go next; you must
+know everything, if you were here all day yesterday. I want to see that
+double-faced clock and those carvings of the Field of the Cloth of Gold.
+They're all over in the same direction.
+
+"Good to be out in the air, eh? I vow, I never was great on churches.
+What boat did you come over on? Did it roll? Ours rolled and pitched,
+too. I never saw such a rolling. I tell you, Bob, the man will make a
+fortune who invents a level liner. I used to try and figure on how to
+hang the passenger department in an open square, so it could swing
+free,--do you get the idea?--but I don't know as it could be managed. I
+was trying to work it out one morning, and I came up against the
+wash-stand so sudden that I thought I was cut in two; the next second I
+went backward so quick that the edge of the berth nearly amputated my
+legs; and then the whole craft arose on such a swell that I swallowed
+half my tooth-brush. You may laugh, Bob, but I'm not telling this to be
+funny; I'm telling it for a fact. I had to have the steward in to put
+the washing-apparatus to rights, and I asked him what in thunder was up
+outside. He was standing at an angle of forty-five degrees, looking up
+at me where I sat in the lower berth, and he said, 'If the wind shifts,
+we're very likely to have it rough.' Just then he took on an angle of
+ninety-five degrees, and my trunk slid out on his feet so quick he had
+to hop. I said: 'Have it _rough_, eh? Well, I'm glad to know, so that I
+can take advantage of this calm spell.'
+
+[Illustration: "'So that's the clock!'"]
+
+"So that's the clock! Well, it's a big one, surely--almost as wide as
+the street, although candor compels us to own that the street is about
+the narrowest ever. All right, I'm done; a clock is a clock, and one
+look in its face always tells me all I want to know. Come on; we can't
+stand dilly-dallying if we're to get through Rouen to-day, and I must
+say I consider a day to a town as quite enough in Europe. I know, when
+I was young and traveled for wholesale shoes, I used often and often to
+do three towns a day and never turn a hair. I tell you, Bob, when I
+was--
+
+"Is that the fountain? Hold on; we want to see that! The guide-book has
+it in italics. I don't see anything to underline, though; looks foreign
+to me. Come on; we've got to be getting somewhere, or I shall feel I was
+a fool to stop off at Rouen. Not that I'm not glad to have met you
+again, Bob; but that could have happened anywhere else just as well, you
+know. When did you come over? Last year! Great Scott, what are you
+staying so long for? I bet I get enough in six weeks; I feel as if I'd
+got pretty close to enough now. Not that time ever hangs heavy on my
+hands, you know. No, not by a long shot. I'm the kind of man that can
+always amuse himself. Give me a fair show,--off a ship, of course,--and
+I'll defy any one to get on better. Take the day we landed, for
+instance, there in Havre,--rainy, not a thing to do, and every one else
+off for Paris. You might have looked for me to be a little disgusted,
+naturally; but not a bit of it. The day went like the wind. We landed at
+noon, I slept all the afternoon, and in the evening I took a bath. I
+tell you, Bob, a fellow with brains can get on anywhere. I never know
+what it is to feel bored.
+
+"What's our Goddess of Liberty doing up there? What's that Indian
+beadwork around her feet for? Who? You don't mean to tell me that's Joan
+of Arc? Well, all I can say is, I never imagined her like that. But what
+are the beads? French funeral wreaths! Great Scott! do they keep
+Charlemagne wreathed, too, or is five hundred years the bead-wreath
+limit? Pretty idea, to put up a fountain where they burnt her--keep her
+memory damp at all events, eh? What's the moral of her train turning
+into a dolphin? Just to bring the mind gradually down to the level of
+the fact that it is a fountain, after all, I suppose.
+
+"She wasn't burnt here, anyhow, the book said. The book said she was
+burnt farther over. Smart people here--have two places where she was
+burnt, so people must trot through the whole market if they try to be
+conscientious. Look at that woman, with her bouquet of live
+chickens--novel effect in chickens, eh, Bob? Strikes me it was an
+enterprising idea to burn Joan in the market, anyhow--good business for
+the market. Folks come to see the statue, and incidentally buy some
+peanuts.
+
+"Well, where can we go now? I say to set out and have a look at the
+tower where she was imprisoned. Pulled down! It isn't, either; it's
+starred in the book. What's that? This tower named for her, and hers
+pulled down! Well, there's French honor for you again. What do you think
+of Sibbilly now, Edna? I don't want to see the tower if it ain't the
+real one. I want to see the bas-reliefs of the Field of the Cloth of
+Gold, and then I want to go back to the hotel to lunch. I tell you, this
+sight-seeing is a great appetizer. The more old ruins and burnings I
+look over, the hungrier I get.
+
+"Is this the place? Makes me think of a sort of glorified gate to a
+woodyard. What is it, now? Well, ask somebody! A bank, eh? Are those the
+famous bas-reliefs? Those! Them! Well, well, I must say the touring
+public is easy game. They're all worn off. What's the tin overhead for?
+To keep the rain from damaging them, eh? Pretty bit of sarcasm, eh, Bob?
+Great pity they didn't think to put it four or five hundred years
+sooner. I don't see a man with a head or a horse with a leg from here.
+It lacks character, to my idea. Let's go home. Come on. I've racked
+around Rouen all I care to for one day."
+
+
+
+
+III
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                              _Rouen._
+
+Dearest Mama: It is midnight, and I must tell you the most astonishing
+piece of news. We came here with Uncle last night, and all this morning
+we were out with him. When we came home and unlocked our room we found
+_Lee_ sitting by the window. But he doesn't want Uncle to know. It was
+fortunate that Uncle's room is across the hall, for I screamed. We
+couldn't see how he got in, but he says that he has bent a buttonhook
+so that he can travel all over Europe. It seems he never meant to go to
+Russia at all; but he doesn't want Uncle to know. He says he thinks
+Russia is a good place for Uncle to imagine him in. We had such fun! We
+told him all about the voyage and all about Uncle. He says M. Sibilet's
+mother _is_ his wife--he married her for money. He says he's a painter.
+Lee is really going yachting, but he doesn't want Uncle to know. He
+isn't going for a while, though; and he doesn't want Uncle to know that,
+either. While we were talking, Uncle rapped, and Lee had to get into the
+wardrobe while Uncle came in and read us a lecture. When we were in the
+cathedral to-day he found a man he used to know in school, and he was
+utterly overjoyed until he saw that the man had a son; and then, of
+course, he was worried over the son. So he came in to-night to tell us
+that it he discovered any skylarking, he should at once give up a
+friendship which had always meant more to him than we young things could
+possibly imagine. He said we must understand that he'd have no sort of
+foolishness going on, and at that the wardrobe creaked so awfully that
+Edna had a fit of coughing, and I didn't know what I should have if he
+kept on. He didn't go until it was high lunch-time, and I was afraid Lee
+would have to stay in the wardrobe until he smothered. When Uncle was
+gone, Edna asked Lee how under the sun he kept still, and he said he
+nearly died, because so many hooks hooked into his coat and he had
+nothing to perch on except shoe-trees. I do think Lee is so clever. I
+wish Uncle thought so, too. He went to his room, and we lunched with
+Uncle, Mr. Porter, and Mr. Porter, Jr.; and afterward we visited the
+church of the Bon-Secours and the monument to Jeanne d'Arc. She stands
+on top, her hands manacled, with her big, frightened eyes staring sadly
+and steadily out over the town where she met death. Uncle admired her so
+much that he tripped on one of the sheep that are carved on the steps,
+and after that he didn't admire anything or anybody. We got back about
+five, and Lee came in for a visit of an hour. Lee says he had a fine
+voyage. It stormed, and he says he never was battened down with such a
+lively lot of people. Uncle came in twice while he was there, but Lee
+has the wardrobe by heart now, and doesn't take a second. He says the
+men he's going yachting with are great sport, and he expects to have the
+time of his life. I do wish Uncle liked Lee, so that he could go around
+with us these days; he would be so much fun.
+
+We are going to Jumieges to-morrow, Uncle says. Lee says he must take
+the early train for Havre. He's just been in to say good-by. He brought
+a cherry-tart and his shoe-horn, and we had ours, and so we had no
+trouble at all in eating it.
+
+It has raised my spirits lots, seeing Lee. It seemed so terrible for him
+to go off to Russia like that. Uncle spoke of it yesterday. He said he
+was glad to have one worry off his mind and safe in Russia. The wardrobe
+squeaked merrily.
+
+Now good-by.
+
+                                                    Love from
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+IV
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                              _Rouen._
+
+Dear Mama: Lee is gone. I do wish he could have stayed longer, but he
+thought it was risky. Uncle John was sure he smelt cigarette smoke in my
+room, and although it wasn't true at all, Edna cried and said the
+wardrobe was getting on her nerves, and Lee said he reckoned he'd take
+his button-hook and move on. We had an awful time bidding him good-by,
+for Uncle came in three times, and the second time he had lost his
+umbrella and thought it must be in our wardrobe. I never was so
+frightened in all my life; for, you know, if Uncle had been hunting for
+his umbrella and had found Lee, he wouldn't have liked it at all. Edna
+volunteered to look in the wardrobe, and I know I must have looked
+queer, for Uncle asked if I'd taken cold. You know how much I think of
+Lee, but I couldn't help being relieved when he was gone. It is such a
+responsibility to have a man in your wardrobe so much of the time. He
+said that I must try to steer Uncle toward Brittany, because he'll be
+yachting all around there. He says I must mark places in the Baedeker
+with strips of paper. He says that's a fine way to make any one go
+anywhere, and that if Edna and I will talk Italy and mark Brittany,
+Uncle is almost sure to wind up in the Isle of Jersey. Lee says he
+wishes he'd been kinder to Uncle in America, and then he'd like him
+better in Europe. He's afraid Uncle will never forgive him for taking
+him bobbing that time and dumping him off in the snow. It was too bad.
+
+We went to Jumieges to-day. Uncle found it in the guide-book, and we
+took an eleven-o'clock train. Mr. Porter and his son were late, and just
+had time to get into the rear third-class coach. Uncle was much
+distressed until we came to Yainville, where the train stopped, and they
+got out. Uncle wanted them to get in with us, and he talked so forcibly
+on the subject that the train nearly started again before Mr. Porter
+could make him understand that Yainville is where you get off for
+Jumieges.
+
+I do wish it wasn't so hard to turn Uncle's ideas another way when he's
+got them all wrong.
+
+Yainville has a red-brick depot on the edge of a pleasant, rolling
+prairie, but there is a little green omnibus to hyphenate it with
+Jumieges. We were a very tight fit inside, for of course we could only
+sit in Uncle's lap, and he didn't suggest it, so I had to hold Edna; and
+Mr. Porter and his son knew Uncle well enough not to suggest taking her.
+I thought that we should never get there; and it was so tantalizing,
+for the country became beautiful, and we could only see it in little
+triangular bits between shoulders and hats. Young Mr. Porter wanted to
+get out and walk, but Uncle said, "Young man, when you are as old as I
+am, you will know as much as I do," so he gave up the idea. I do believe
+we were cooped up for a solid hour before we finally rolled down a
+little bit of a hill into a little bit of a village, and climbed stiffly
+out into the open air.
+
+We all had to cry out with wonder and admiration then, it was really so
+wonderful. On one side were the hills, with the Seine winding off toward
+Paris; and on the other side was the wood, with the ragged ruins of the
+abbey-church walls towering up out of the loftiest foliage. Uncle
+thought we had better go and see all there was to be seen directly, so
+we walked off down the little road with a funny feeling of being partly
+present and partly past, but very well content.
+
+The story goes that one of the ancient French kings took two young
+princes of a rival house, crippled them, put them on a boat, and set
+them afloat at Paris. They drifted down the current as far as this spot,
+and here they were rescued. They founded a monastery in gratitude, and
+their tomb was in the church, which is now in ruins. Later we saw the
+stone, with their effigies, in the little museum by the gate. They were
+called "Les Deux Enerves," in reference to their mutilation. Uncle
+thought the word meant "nervous," and we heard him say to Mr. Porter,
+"Well, who wouldn't have been, under the circumstances?" The whole of
+the abbey is now the private property of a lady who lives in a nice
+house up over back beyond somewhere. She built the lodge, and also a
+little museum for relics from the ruins, and has stopped the wholesale
+carrying off of stones from the beautiful remnants of what must have
+once been a truly superb monument. I am sure I shall never in all my
+life see anything more grand or impressive than the building as it is
+to-day. It is much the same plan as the cathedral at Rouen, only that
+that has been preserved, and this has been long abandoned. It is so
+curious to think of the choir which we saw yesterday, with its chapels
+and stained glass, and then to compare it with this roofless and
+windowless one, out of the tops of the walls of which fir-trees--big
+ones--are growing. You don't know what a strange sensation it is to see
+trees growing out of the tops of ruined walls the foundations of which
+were laid by Charlemagne's relatives. Edna and I felt very solemn, and
+Uncle was quiet ever so long, and then only said, "I vow!" The grass is
+growing in the nave and transept, and the big carved pediments stick up
+through the turf here and there, with moss and lichen clinging to the
+shadowy sides. The rows of pillars are pretty even, and the set of big
+arches above are mostly all there still. There were a third and a fourth
+gallery above, and although they are fallen away in places, still you
+can see exactly how it used to be. When you look away up to the fourth
+tier of columns, the main walls of the nave are still soaring higher
+yet; and when you follow the sky-line of their vastness, you see the two
+mighty towers rising, rising, straight up toward heaven, with the rooks
+whirling and circling about them and screaming in the oddest, most
+awfully mournful manner. I'm sure I shall never feel the same way again,
+not even if I live to be a thousand years old myself. I felt overcome; I
+felt a way that I never felt before. I don't know what I felt.
+
+Uncle was delighted; he sighed with satisfaction. "This is the real
+thing," he said to Mr. Porter; "I like this. You can see that there's
+been no tampering with _this_ ruin." Mr. Porter looked up at the sky
+above and said: "I should say that there had been considerable tampering
+with this ruin. I will take my oath that the whole of the little town
+yonder was built with the stone taken from these walls and those of the
+monastery buildings."
+
+[Illustration: "There's been no tampering with _this_ ruin"]
+
+Uncle is getting very nervous over Mr. Porter, Jr., because he walks
+around with Edna so much; so we were not allowed out of his sight during
+the visit, and didn't explore half as much as we wanted to. The little
+museum was really very interesting, and had the tombstone of one of Joan
+of Arc's judges. I feel very sorry for Joan's poor judges. They had
+to do as they were bid, and have been execrated for it ever since.
+
+We came home late in the afternoon, and Mr. Porter found a telegram
+calling him to Brussels on business, so he and his son said good-by
+hurriedly and took a half-past-six train. Uncle said at dinner that it
+was a strange thing to see how, after forty-five years of seeing the
+world, a man could still be the same as when one had to do all his sums
+for him at school. We absorbed this luminous proposition in silence, and
+then Uncle looked severely at Edna and said that at the rate that things
+were progressing he wouldn't have been surprised to have had a John
+Gilpin in the family any day. We were struck dumb at this threat or
+prophecy or whatever was intended, and went meekly to bed. Edna had a
+letter from Lee and I had one from Harry. Lee didn't dare write me and
+Harry didn't dare write Edna because of Uncle. But they each sent the
+other their love.
+
+Uncle wants to go to Gisors to-morrow.
+
+P. S. I must add a line to tell you that Mrs. Braytree and the four
+girls have arrived. They saw Uncle on the stairs coming up, and all came
+straight to our room. They landed yesterday, and had a real good
+passage, only Eunice fell out of the berth and sprained her wrist. She
+has it in a sling. They had a hard time arranging about the dog, as the
+hotel didn't want him in the rooms. He is one of those dogs that look
+scratchy and whiny at the first glance. Mrs. Braytree has lost her keys,
+so she sat with us while the hotel people got a man to open her trunks.
+She says she's in no hurry to unpack, for she had so many bottles she's
+almost positive one cork at least must have come out. They entirely
+forgot to bring any hairpins and suffered dreadfully on shipboard on
+that account. They had trouble with one of their port-holes too, and
+Mrs. Braytree and Uncle are both going to carry crowbars at sea
+hereafter.
+
+They are going to stay here a week. It's so nice to meet some one from
+home!
+
+                                              Always yours lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+V
+
+UNCLE JOHN EN ROUTE
+
+
+                                                              _Rouen._
+
+"Come on, girls, this is quite an expedition. I vow I shook a little
+when Mrs. Braytree suggested coming, too. Seven women to one man would
+be too many for comfort as a general thing; but your Uncle John never
+shows the white feather, so I only drew the line at the dog. Why the
+devil five women want to travel with one dog and eight trunks I can't
+see; but if I was Mrs. Braytree, I'd probably know more about it.
+Curious little creature, the cross-eyed one, isn't she? And that
+Pauline--always wanting to be somewhere else. I told her pretty flatly
+at dinner that if she couldn't get any more fun out of Rouen than by
+wishing it was St. Augustine, she'd better have stayed in New York.
+Anything but these fault-finders.
+
+"Well, ain't you ready? I've sent the luggage along, and it seems to me
+that we ought to be following its good example. Lord knows, two days is
+enough to waste in an old hole like Rouen; I was wondering last night
+what we ever came for. I never was so cold anywhere in my life, and
+sleeping on a slope with a pillow on your feet isn't my idea of comfort
+at night, anyhow. I don't understand the moral of the scheme, and the
+pillow keeps sliding, and I keep swearing, all night long. Also, I can't
+learn to appreciate the joy of standing on a piece of oil-cloth to wash.
+I must say that one needs to wear an overcoat and ear-muffs to wash
+here, anyhow. I was dancing under the bell-rope and ringing for hot
+water a good half-hour this morning. I'm going to write and have the
+asterisk subtracted from this hotel.
+
+"Well, come on, if you're ready. Whose umbrella is that getting left by
+the door? Mine? I vow, I didn't remember putting it down. But no one can
+think of everything. Edna, is this soap yours? No? Well, I just asked. I
+seem to have left mine somewhere, and it's live and learn. Come on! come
+on!
+
+"Good morning, Mrs. Braytree--Eunice--Emma--Pauline--Augusta. I reckon
+we'd better be hustling along pretty promptly. The train doesn't go
+until five minutes after the time, if we don't hurry. It's truly a
+pleasure having you join us, Mrs. Braytree. A little excursion like this
+makes such a pleasant break in the routine of sight-seeing, I think, and
+these quaint old--there, all get out now, I have the money. I'll take
+the tickets; we're all full-fare, aren't we? Or--how old is the little
+cross-eyed one? I _beg_ your pardon, Mrs. Braytree, but I had to know in
+a hurry.
+
+"There, come on! come on! Squeeze through. Se--ven women and one man.
+Hurry! we want a compartment, here--no, there. Run, Edna, and get ahead
+of that old lady; here's two umbrellas to throw crossways, and then you
+can tell her there's no room, and the law will uphold you. You look
+surprised, Mrs. Braytree, but I learned that little trick coming from
+Havre. I tell you, by the time I get to Paris I'll be on to every kind
+of game going. I learn fast--take to Europe as a duck takes to water, so
+to speak.
+
+"Well, we're off for Gisors. Great pleasure to have you with us, Mrs.
+Braytree; no more work to steer seven--Good Lord! there aren't but six
+here! Who isn't here? Edna's gone! What is it, Yvonne? I sent her ahead,
+did I? Oh, so I did, so I did. And of course she is waiting for us. Poor
+child! I hope she's not worried. As soon as we get out of the tunnel
+I'll hang out of the window and holler to her. Very convenient method
+of talking to your friends aboard, Mrs. Braytree; only I should think a
+good many would lose their heads as a consequence. However, as the
+majority of the heads would be foreigners', I don't suppose it would
+matter much in the long run.
+
+"Speaking of Gisors, Mrs. Braytree, it's really a very interesting
+place--according to the guide-book. As far as I'm personally concerned,
+I'd be willing to take the time to go there to learn how to pronounce
+it. The workings of the mind which laid out the way to speak French
+don't at all jibe with the workings of the mind which laid out the way
+to spell it--not according to my way of thinking. There's that place
+which we've just left, for instance,--'Ruin' as plain as the nose on
+your--on anybody's face,--and its own inhabitants can't see
+it--pronounce the R in a way that I should think would make their
+tongues feel furry, and then end up as if, on second thought, they
+wouldn't end at all.
+
+"Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out and see if you see any of Edna hanging
+out. I declare, this is a very trying situation to be in. You don't know
+what a trip I had, Mrs. Braytree, trying to keep track of these girls;
+and since we landed--well, I just had to call a halt in Havre and come
+off alone. Curious place, Havre, don't you think? See any one you knew
+there? We--who did you say? Why, that can't be, he's in Russia. Yvonne,
+didn't that young reprobate write you he was going to Russia? Yes, I
+thought so. Well, Mrs. Braytree says she saw him in Havre. Good joke his
+not knowing we were in Rouen; he'd have been down there in a jiffy, I'll
+bet anything. But your Uncle John is a rather tough customer to handle,
+and I expect that young man knows the fact, and so thought it best to
+give Rouen a wide berth. Not that I have anything in particular against
+young Reynolds, only I don't consider that any girl could be happy with
+him. And it's foolish to have a man around unless you can make him
+happy--I mean unless he can make you happy. My wife was very happy up to
+the time she developed melancholia--a sad disease, Mrs. Braytree.
+Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out and see if you can see anything of Edna.
+
+"I presume this is as good a time as we'll have to study up a little on
+Gisors. It seems to have been the capital of the Vexin. I shouldn't be
+surprised if 'vex' and 'vexing' both come from that country, for the
+guide-book gives it as always in hot water. The French and English were
+both up against it most of the time, and it was vexin' with a vengeance.
+It says here that the old city walls are still standing and that Henry
+II built the castle. Isn't he the one we peeked around in Rouen? Yes, I
+thought so. It says that there's very little left of the castle, though.
+I must say I'm always glad when I read that there's not much left of
+anything; it gives me a quiet, rested sort of feeling."
+
+
+                                                             _Gisors._
+
+[Illustration: "'This is as good a time as we'll have to study up on
+Gisors'"]
+
+"Well, here we get out. I'll swing down first. If French trains were
+American, they'd have trapezes or elevators to--get--out--by. Here, give
+me your hand, Yvonne--oh, there's Edna. Well, I vow, who has she got--if
+it isn't--Yvonne, isn't that that young man--how d'ye do, Edgar?
+Delighted to see you again. Our friend, Mrs. Braytree, and all the
+others are her daughters. Come, Edna; you come with me while I check
+this trunk. Where in thunder did you get that fellow from? How does he
+come to be in Rouen? Did you know he was in Rouen? Did you see him while
+he was there? I declare, I never will travel with any women again
+unless I am married to them. This is awful. Don't you know I'm
+responsible for you two girls? And I send you ahead to get a
+compartment, and you find Edgar--it makes me want to swear. Say, was
+there any one else with you? Worse and worse. I was afraid there was
+something wrong when we kept hanging out and you never hung out at all.
+Well, we'll have to go back and gather them all up. Yes, I'll be polite
+to him; but, Edna, I hope you understand distinctly that a man like that
+could never make any woman--
+
+"Yes, Mrs. Braytree, here we are again; and now we'll all proceed over
+Gisors. Pretty place, don't you think? Picturesque. Did you ever see so
+many canals--or smell so many?--and the little cottages out of another
+century? Packed roofs--green trees--well-sweeps--I like this; I'm glad I
+had the sense to come here. Edgar, will you oblige me by carrying that
+cane so that child doesn't come within an ace of catching her mouth on
+it every other second? I declare, Mrs. Braytree, I wish we hadn't run on
+to that young man. Of course he's a nice fellow and all that, but young
+men are a great trial when you have two--
+
+"Let's turn down here. Most of the streets seem to be canal tow-paths. I
+vow, this _is_ pretty. I could settle down in a place like this and live
+till I died. What do you suppose the people here do to amuse
+themselves, anyhow? From the way they look at us with their mouths open
+I should imagine that we were regarded in the light of a great event.
+And if that's the case, they must be pretty hard up for sport. Oh, well,
+I presume it's enough for them to paddle about on the green waters and
+stir up the miasma--as much sense as foreigners have.
+
+"And so these are the walls--ramparts, I mean. Well, they're fairly
+high. Wonder how high they are, anyhow? Edgar, will you do me the
+courtesy not to be pointing to the left with that cane of yours when I
+turn suddenly to the right again? I beg your pardon for seeming heated,
+Mrs. Braytree; but he really--
+
+"Let's find a gate and go in; seems to be a park inside. I should think
+there _was_ 'little left to be seen of the castle!' I don't see anything
+at all of it. Maybe they took it down and built the walls higher just to
+fool tourists. Well, I didn't come to Gisors to caper about in a park;
+let's go out and look at the church--the guide-book says the church is
+worth seeing. I think there's something very touching about guide-book
+enthusiasm: it keeps up so consistently right through to the end. I feel
+as if my own enthusiasm was most run through now. I don't know how Paris
+will affect me. Edgar, if I trip on that cane you'll have to pay my
+doctor's bill. What makes you handle it as you do, anyway? I like to see
+a cane light and alert--not one that drags through the world in the
+style of yours. To judge from your cane, I should say you hadn't been in
+bed before three for a month. I have to speak sharply to that fellow,
+Mrs. Braytree; he is about as wooden-headed as they make. Came across
+the ocean with us, and pestered the life out of me. You don't know what
+an ocean voyage is with two attractive girls--I _beg_ your pardon; I
+forgot your four. Dear me! we were speaking of--yes--of Gisors, of
+course. I vow, I'm disappointed in it as a whole. I wish we'd gone to
+Les Andelys instead. Les Andelys is marked with an asterisk in the
+guide-book, and there's a castle there built by Coeur-de-Lion. By the
+way, Mrs. Braytree, the Coeur-de-Lion _itself_ is buried in Rouen. Did
+you know that? Nice joke, eh? But, dear, dear, if there's no castle here
+when we get here, perhaps there'd be none there when we got there. I'm
+beginning to look upon Europe as a confidence-game; I--
+
+"Well is _that_ the castle! Great Scott! but it must have been big. It's
+big yet, and the book said there was very little left to see. I'm
+beginning to lose faith in that book. Picturesque idea, having the park
+hide the ruins till you come right smash on to them. Clever people, the
+French; make everything put the best foot foremost. Fine old round
+tower; nice tumble-down guard-chamber! I like this. Let's go around the
+other side. Great place, eh? Worth a trip to see. Edgar, let me have
+your cane to point with. There, do you see that old staircase? Looks
+Roman to me; what do you think? I tell you, a man could write an
+historical novel out of old ruins if he prowled long enough. Come on
+now; let's meander on down town and look at the church. As soon as I
+look at anything, I'm always ready to look at something else. Let's go
+out on this side and go back to town the other way. Then we'll look at
+the church, and then we'll put you and Edgar on the train for Rouen,
+Mrs. Braytree. What did you say, Yvonne? He isn't going to Rouen? Where
+is he going? To Paris with us! Well, well, well! all I can say is, I do
+admire his nerve. I never in all my life went where I wasn't asked, and
+took a cane. Now don't you see why no woman could be happy with a man
+like that? I never saw the beat. I tell you frankly, Yvonne, I don't
+like his ways and I don't like him. If you girls had let him alone on
+the boat, he'd have let us alone here. I declare, my day is just about
+spoiled. Your mother has trusted you girls to me, and I haven't drawn a
+quiet breath since. I did take a little comfort there in Rouen; but if
+I'd known that Lee was in Havre, I'd have been on thorns even there.
+
+"Well, where is the church? Ask some one. What did she say? Down here?
+Down we go, then. Ah, I suppose that's it under the sidewalk. Nice
+commanding situation for a church, to grade a street by its tower! Why
+don't they put in the guide-book, 'Street commands a fine view of the
+roof?' There isn't time to go inside unless Mrs. Braytree wants to miss
+her train, and we don't want her to do that.
+
+"This is the street to the _gare_, and we'll run right along. I expect
+we can get something to eat there, and get that 1:30 train for Beauvais.
+There isn't anything in Beauvais that would interest you, Mrs. Braytree;
+but there's a church there that I want to see. The guide-book says that
+Mr. Ruskin says that the roof has got a clear vertical fall that not
+many rocks in the Alps can equal; I don't just know what a clear
+vertical fall may be, but if there's a church anywhere near as high as
+an Alp, I don't want to miss seeing it.
+
+"There's the clock. You just have time to get aboard comfortably. Don't
+you want to go with them, Edgar? Well, I thought maybe you might.
+Good-by, good-by; delighted to have met you. Good-by. Oh, yes, of
+course. In Paris.
+
+"There, they're gone, darn 'em! Now let's get some lunch. Did you ever
+see such a collection as those girls? It must have been a bitter pill
+when, after managing to assimilate the looks of the three oldest, the
+little one appeared with her eyes laid out bias. Come in here; we can
+get something to eat here, I don't care what; but I want plenty. Don't
+lose your cane, Edgar; life wouldn't be life to you without it, I
+expect. I like these country hotel entrances, through a carriage-house
+and a duck-yard, fall over a cat, and come in. Tell her we want dinner
+for four, and prompt. You put that in good forcible French for me,
+Edgar, and I'll be grateful to you till I die. Let's sit down. Let's
+eat."
+
+
+                                                           _Beauvais._
+
+"Now, young people, I call this making a day count. This is my idea of
+getting about. Breakfast in Rouen, lunch in Gisors, Beauvais for a
+sandwich, and we'll dine in Paris.
+
+"What time is it? Three o'clock. Well, we want to head straight for that
+cathedral. Seems as if it ought to show most anywhere over a little, low
+town like this, but I don't see it. Ask someone--ask any one. Well, what
+did they say? Right across the square. Whose statue is that in the
+middle? Joan of Arc? Jeanne Hachette? Who was Jeanne Hachette? Girl who
+captured flag from Charles the Bold, eh? Is that why they called him
+'the Bold'? Sort of sarcastic on his letting a girl carry off his flag,
+I should consider. Well, when did she live? Has she got her year under
+her? 1492. Seventy years after Joan. I shouldn't have thought she'd have
+inspired other young women in this part of the country to emulate her.
+
+[Illustration: "'Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt'"]
+
+"Do we go up here? Ugh, how I hate walking over cobble-stones! Clean; of
+course they're clean. I didn't say that I thought they were dirty. I
+said I hated to walk on 'em.
+
+"What's that chopped-off creation before us? _Not_ the cathedral?
+Well--I--vow!
+
+"Is _that_ what I--what we--
+
+[Illustration: Beauvais]
+
+"Where's the front of it? What _did_ happen to it? And what _was_ Mr.
+Ruskin thinking of when he compared it to an Alp! I don't want to fall
+off of anywhere, but I'd choose the roof of that cathedral to start from
+any day in preference to the lowest Alp they make. 'Clear vertical fall'
+eh? I wish I knew what that meant.
+
+"Well, let's go in. Where's the door? That little, unpretentious one
+looks feasible. Come on. Well, Edgar, are you coming, too, or do you
+choose to stay outside with your stick? I can't help it, Edna; I feel
+irritated at his being here at all, and then I'm naturally disappointed
+over this church. I must say the biggest thing about it is that blank
+wall stopping up where they left off. This is the kind of thing I've
+come several thousand miles to look at, is it? Well, may as well go in,
+I suppose.
+
+"So this is in the inside! Fine lot of carpets hung up to try and cover
+the deficiencies, eh?--High roof,--funny sort of shock you get whenever
+you look towards the front. Sort of like turning around and hitting your
+cane, eh, Edgar? Girls, this cathedral was begun in 1180, time of Henry
+II, and they quit in 1555 while Bloody Mary was abroad and never got to
+the front end in the four hundred years. Well, well! dear, dear!
+
+[Illustration: "'What's that chopped-off creation before us?'"]
+
+"Come on, girls, we may as well go out; I feel like going to the station
+and heading for Paris. I suppose that's the next move in the game. You
+can stay here as long as you like, Edgar; we won't hurry you.
+
+"Come, Yvonne, you walk with me. Did you ever see anything like that
+young man's gall? Your friend Lee couldn't make any points around him.
+Just hooks right on to us, and stays hooked. I declare, if I carried a
+cane I bet I'd give him one punch he'd remember long after. I'd
+sincerely beg his pardon. I didn't like him on the steamer; I've got no
+use for young men of his stamp. I--"
+
+
+                                                _Gare du Nord, Paris._
+
+"So this is Paris! Now, Edgar, I have one favor to ask of you--will you
+kindly allow me to manage my own affairs while you manage yours? I know
+just what to do, and I'll take Yvonne with me to do it. You can take
+Edna up to the hotel. Looked disappointed, didn't he? Counting on
+endearing himself to me forever by his able-bodied assistance, I'll
+wager; but I don't want any young man minding my business. Tell that
+blue blouse to take these checks and look up five trunks in a hurry.
+What did he say? We haven't got to overhaul them again here, have we?
+Well, I am--I certainly just _am_. Have we got to hunt 'em up? Where?
+Well, ask him? Round back of this crazy mob? Well, tell him to go first.
+What's this system of wildly speculating wheat-pits? Baggage-counters,
+eh? And will you look at the baggage! Talk about your 'clear vertical
+falls!' Those trunks on top will soon know more than Ruskin ever did.
+
+"Where's our man gone? Yvonne, do you know where that fellow went to?
+Well, ask some one. Look out--that baggage truck will be Juggernauting
+right over you before you know it. Now, where _is_ the porter? I call
+this a pretty state of affairs--porter, valises, and trunk-checks all
+gone together. I thought you were watching him or I would have done so.
+Do you suppose we ought to speak to a policeman? I think we ought to.
+But will you look at the trunk-unlocking that's going on--good as a
+play--look how mad that old lady is; hear her give it to him in good
+English. Guess something got broke in transit. Keep a sharp eye out for
+that porter, Yvonne. Here come some more trunks, and more, and more yet.
+I wonder if this is regular, or if we've struck a rush. Where _is_ that
+porter? I think we ought to be speaking to a policeman, don't you?
+Here's a choice new invoice of a couple of thousand more trunks; that
+fellow will never be able to find ours, I know. Supposing he has found
+them and gone off with them already. Hey, look at that lady jumping up
+and down! She sees _her_ trunk, I'll bet a dollar. Well, I'd jump up and
+down if I could see mine. Yvonne, I really think we ought to speak to a
+policeman. Could you give a description of the man? I only remember that
+he wore a blue blouse. Oh, yes; and he had 'Commissionaire' across
+the front of his cap. Hello, here are nine trucks all at once, just a
+few million more additions to the turmoil. I tell you, we won't get out
+of here to-night, I don't believe. I vow, I wish I'd given the checks to
+Edgar, as he suggested. I really think we ought to be calling a
+policeman. Here are fourteen trucks all loaded to the gunwales, and two
+mass-meetings and one convention of tourists all at once. Yvonne, this
+is beginning to look serious to me; I think that really we ought to
+call--
+
+[Illustration: "'Look how mad that old lady is'"]
+
+"Oh, there he is with the whole of the stuff on one truck. Good idea;
+smart chap; and he wasn't so very long either, considering."
+
+
+
+
+VI
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                              _Paris._
+
+Dearest Mama: Well we _are_ arrived! It _is_ Paris at last! But I
+thought we should surely die in transit. I don't know what Uncle would
+have said if he had known that Lee was in Rouen; he was dreadfully upset
+over Mrs. Braytree's telling him that she saw Lee in Havre. He was very
+unreasonable, and laid it up against Lee that Mrs. Braytree saw him.
+Just as if Lee could help it.
+
+We had a pretty good time coming down, only Mr. Edgar came up and came
+down with us, and of course Uncle did not like that. I think that Mr.
+Edgar came up to come down with me because we had a lovely time on the
+steamer coming over together, but Uncle hardly gave me a chance to speak
+to him. Uncle seems just instinctively to know whom Edna and I want to
+talk to, and then won't let us. But of course I'm not complaining, for
+it was lovely of him to give us this trip, and we're enjoying every
+minute.
+
+We arrived last night, and the only drawback is that Mrs. Clary isn't
+here. She left a note, and M. Sibilet's wife _is_ his mother, and has a
+place out at Neuilly, and they were invited there for three days. She
+will be back to-morrow, and she left word for us to go straight to the
+Bon Marche and look at the white suits; so we did so. We told Uncle it
+was all right for us to go alone, and he had just gotten his mail, so he
+only said "Hum!" and we went. Just as we were taking the cab, who should
+we see but Mr. Chopstone. It was so lovely to see him again, and he got
+into the cab and went with us. We went to the Bon Marche, but it wasn't
+much fun with a man, so we came out after a little, and he proposed
+taking the Subway and going to the Trocadero. Just then we met a man
+that Mr. Chopstone knew, and he had red hair and eye-glasses. Mr.
+Chopstone introduced him, and invited him to go along; but he said it
+was no use, because it was the wrong day and we couldn't get in when we
+got there. By this time we were down in the Subway, and Mr. Chopstone
+suggested that we go to the Bois, so as not to have to go back up the
+stairs again. While we were talking, the train came and went in a
+terrible hurry, and we got aboard in between. After we were off, we
+found that Mr. Chopstone wasn't on. We didn't know what to do, because,
+of course, it was he that we knew, and not the red-haired man. The
+red-haired man said he would do whatever we pleased, and Edna thought we
+had better get right off; but I thought we ought to go right on. We
+didn't know _what_ to do, and so we kept on to the Bois.
+
+The Bois was just lovely--all automobiles and babies; and who do you
+think we met? Betty Burleigh. We were so surprised, for I thought she
+was in California for her lungs; but it seems that she's been in Dresden
+for her music all winter, and now she's here for her clothes. She was
+with an elderly French lady, and I don't think that the elderly French
+lady liked to have her stop and talk to us. I thought at first that
+perhaps it wasn't proper on account of the red-haired man, but in a
+second I saw the real reason. Betty glanced around and said, "Oh,
+Madame, ou est Fakir?" Whereupon the elderly French lady looked
+absolutely terrified and tore madly off. We had quite a long talk
+before she came back with the most awful little black dog, which they
+evidently had _no_ string to. She put him down and began to look
+displeased again, and Betty just glanced about and said calmly, "Oh,
+Madame, ou es Fakir?" He had absolutely vanished again, and the elderly
+French lady sort of threw up her eyes and rushed wildly away. The
+red-haired man said, "Why don't you buy a chain for him?" Betty shrugged
+the Frenchiest kind of a shrug and said, "I don't have to chase him."
+The red-haired man said, "I should think she would buy the chain then!"
+and Betty shrugged a much Frenchier shrug, and said: "I wouldn't allow
+it. While she is running after him I can do as I please." The
+red-haired man laughed. Poor madame came panting up with the creature
+just then, and Betty said sweetly, "Laissez-lui courir," so she had to
+put him down; but I could see that she meant to keep a sharp eye on him.
+Betty wanted us all to come to the Palais and lunch with her; but of
+course we refused, because you wouldn't have liked it, and, anyway, we
+had to go back to Uncle. She wanted the red-haired man to stay, anyhow,
+and was quite put out when he declined. Just then two men in an
+automobile came up and asked her to go and see the balloon ascension.
+They didn't invite the elderly French lady, and she protested about
+"comme il faut"--but Betty said, "Ou est Fakir?" and, if you'll believe
+me, that little beast was gone again, and poor madame dashed off in
+pursuit. Betty made short work of bidding us good-by then, and at once
+got into the automobile, and was off.
+
+[Illustration: We found our beloved relative]
+
+We came slowly along back with the red-haired man, and at the Arc de
+Triomphe we ran into Mr. Chopstone. It seems he went a station too far
+because he met some people he knew in the car behind us, and he says we
+must all go to the Chatelet with him to-night to make up. He said
+"Uncle, too," so we accepted. Then we took a cab and came back to the
+hotel, where we found our beloved relative with his feet on the
+center-table, reading the Paris "Herald." He looked over the top at us
+and announced that he'd "done the Louvre." I think we must have looked
+startled, for he went on to say at once that he knew that it was
+something that had got to be done, and that he shouldn't enjoy, and so
+he had thought it best to go at it the first thing on the first morning
+and get it off his mind at once. He was very pleased with himself,
+because he says the "Baedeker" says that it takes two hours and a half
+to walk through, and he was only gone from the hotel two hours in all.
+Edna asked him if he spent much time looking at the pictures, and he
+said: "Young lady, if you'd ever been in the place, you'd never ask that
+question. Why, the whole thing is lined with pictures. I bet I dream of
+gilt frames for a week."
+
+[Illustration: We found our beloved relative]
+
+We had to go to lunch, and Uncle doesn't like the food very much; he
+says it strikes him as "flummery," and he is really very much vexed over
+Mrs. Clary's being at Neuilly. Edna is vexed because Harry is there,
+too, and I'm very much vexed indeed because she thoughtlessly gave Uncle
+the letter at lunch, and when he read about Monsieur Sibilet's wife
+being his mother he was more put out than ever. He said we could look
+out for ourselves this afternoon, as he had to go to the bank. Edna
+suggested that we go to the Louvre, and he said yes, that would be wise,
+because then we would all be free to enjoy ourselves. Uncle speaks of
+the Louvre exactly as if it were the semiannual siege at the dentist's.
+But he was kind enough to offer to leave us there on his way to the
+bank, and when we took the cab, he arranged with the cabman and the
+hotel-porter exactly what the fare was to be, and held it in his hand
+the whole way.
+
+Edna and I were mighty glad to get to the Louvre without Uncle,
+especially with the way he feels to-day, and we were wandering along in
+a speechless sort of ecstacy when all of a sudden I heard some one
+calling my name. I whirled around, and if it wasn't Mrs. Merrilegs, in a
+state of collapse on one of the red-velvet benches. We went to her, and
+she took hold of our hands as if she'd been our long-lost mother for
+years. She looked very white and tired and almost ready to faint, and we
+sat down on each side of her in real sincere sympathy, and she held our
+hands and told us how it was. It seems that they left home the last of
+last month, and they've been all through the British Isles, Denmark,
+Holland, and Belgium, and they are going to finish Europe and be home
+the first of next month. She could hardly speak for tears. She says Mr.
+Merrilegs made out the itinerary before they sailed and that they have
+lived up to it every day except just one, when he ate some lobster
+crossing the Irish Sea, and they lost a day that night. She says they
+drive a great deal, because they can hardly walk any more, and that she
+doesn't believe that there will be a museum or palace in Europe that
+they won't be able to say that they have driven by when they go home.
+She said they had come to the Louvre to see what pictures they wanted
+for their new house, and that they never meant to take more than twenty
+minutes for the selection, and that they had been there an hour already.
+She felt badly because the itinerary had them visit Notre Dame, the
+Eiffel Tower as high as the elevator goes, and Versailles this
+afternoon. She said they wanted to try and call on the American consul,
+too, to ask about a masseur. She said Mr. Merrilegs said he thought if
+they could get hold of a good masseur and keep him right with them that
+they could manage to rub through to the end.
+
+[Illustration: "She took hold of our hands as if she'd been our
+long-lost mother for years"]
+
+Edna and I felt dreadfully sorry for her; but there did not seem to be
+anything to do except look sad, and we did that as heartily as we knew
+how until in a minute or two Mr. Merrilegs hove in sight with a funny
+little Frenchman dancing round and round him. Mr. Merrilegs looked
+almost as exhausted as his wife, and called Edna by my name and me by
+hers. His wife asked him if he had ordered the pictures, and he said:
+"No; I haven't any more time to waste here. I've given Claretie the
+paper with the sizes of the spaces marked on it, and he's to go through
+and measure till he finds a famous picture to match each space." Mrs.
+Merrilegs sort of nodded faintly and said: "But we don't want any
+martyrs in the dining-room, you know," and her husband said, "Yes, yes,
+he understands; and he says he'll find a Susanna to fit your bath, too."
+Mrs. Merrilegs stood up then with a very audible groan, and they both
+shook hands with us in a way that quite wrung our hearts. Then they
+limped away with the little Frenchman spinning gaily about them, and we
+went on alone.
+
+In the very next room we met Mr. Chopstone. He was awfully glad to see
+us, and said, with our permission, he'd join us; but as he seemed joined
+anyway, we didn't even dream of refusing. He asked if we'd told Uncle
+about the Chatelet, and then we remembered that we had forgotten. He
+said he was so glad, because he couldn't get any seats except
+_baignoirs_, and they looked queer, because no one can see you. He asked
+if we would like to go to the opera instead, and we were just discussing
+it when we turned a corner and ran right on to Betty Burleigh and the
+red-haired man. His name is Potter, and, did you ever! They looked so
+upset that it can't have been an accident, their being together. But how
+could they have arranged it? If they didn't arrange it, why did they
+look upset? Betty had on a bright green cloth dress and a violet hat,
+and the red-haired man heightened the general effect so much that we
+moved on as quickly as possible. Mr. Chopstone said very roundly: "You'd
+better fight shy of her, I think," and Edna said dryly: "Of him, too,
+don't you think?" I waited a minute, and then I said it seemed droll to
+think that if we were all English we'd be pleased to call poor Betty a
+typical American.
+
+We came home when the Louvre closed and found Uncle back with his feet
+on the center-table. He had had a big fire built, for he said it gave
+him chills to look at the nymph over his bed. He had put in a true
+Merrilegian afternoon, having been to the Palais de Justice,
+Sainte-Chapelle, Notre Dame, and driven by the Hotel de Ville and around
+the Opera House--"completely around." He says there won't be a thing
+left for him to look at by Monday. He says if he was pressed for time
+he'd hire a cab for one whole day and lump the business; but that,
+seeing that we have the time, it really doesn't seem necessary.
+
+The mail came while we were talking, and the most unfortunate thing
+happened. To keep up the Russian idea, Lee wrote two postals and sent
+them to St. Petersburg to be mailed. Uncle saw the Russian stamps and
+knew Lee's writing, and he asked me to kindly tell him how Mrs. Braytree
+came to see a man who was in Russia in Havre. Edna said weakly that it
+must have been a joke, and Uncle shook his watch and held it to his ear
+that way he always does when he's dangerous, and said he was in no mood
+for any of Lee's jokes. He looked very severely at me and said that Lee
+was a scalawag, and that I ought to be ashamed of myself for having him
+around.
+
+Mrs. Clary will be back to-morrow, and we're very glad, for Uncle is
+awful peppery and tartary, and says "Hum!" when we least expect it. Edna
+sent Mr. Chopstone a _petit-bleu_, asking him please not to ask us to
+go anywhere to-night. Mr. Edgar sent me some violets, but I had time to
+give them to the chambermaid before Uncle came in. If I only get a
+chance, I shall ask Mrs. Clary to declare that M. Sibilet's mother _is_
+his wife, even if she knows it's a lie. It doesn't seem possible that
+Uncle could really care for Mrs. Clary; but he's so cross if she talks
+to any one else that I almost wonder if he doesn't. Edna is all tired
+out, and says she will cry if Uncle tells her again that any man isn't
+the man to make any girl happy. She says she likes men, and she thinks
+that they all make her happy. She wanted to go to the Chatelet in a
+_baignoir_, and she was wild to go to the opera in anything.
+
+We talk Italy and mark Brittany every chance we get, but Uncle says
+"Hum!" to Italy the same as he does to everything else these days. I'm
+sure I don't see what we'll do if he takes the rest of Europe as hard as
+he does this much. But of course I don't mean that we're not having a
+lovely time, and we never forget for a minute how kind he was to bring
+us.
+
+
+                                                           _Next day._
+
+Oh, it has been awful! How can I write it all!
+
+You see, Uncle has a little balcony, and the sun came out, so he did,
+too, this morning, on his little balcony. And he saw Mrs. Clary being
+brought back in an automobile by M. Sibilet and two French officers. Of
+course Harry was there, too, but that didn't mend matters any. In
+looking over, Uncle's glasses fell to the ground, and they were his
+comfortable ones with the rubber round the nose, and that part broke,
+too. Edna was taking a bath, and I had to stand the brunt of the whole.
+Uncle told me not to dare to fancy for a minute that he cared who Mrs.
+Clary went about with; but he did wish for the credit of America that
+she would steer clear of men like Sibilet. He was much put out over the
+French officers, too, and said that if he was a French officer he'd go
+and walk around Alsace until he came to his senses. While he was talking
+he knocked the water-pitcher over, and then Edna was ready to dress; so
+he went away while I sopped up the floor.
+
+Mrs. Clary came in right afterward. She has had a splendid time, and she
+says she doesn't care what relation the old lady is so long as she can
+have them for friends. She has had no end of fun since she came from
+Havre, and she says it's a shame about Uncle. She went to a beautiful
+lawn-fete at a countess's, and she says I mustn't worry over Lee and
+Uncle. She rode horseback, too, and drove with a coach, and she says
+Edna must remember that Uncle is always peculiar and doesn't mean half
+he says. She went to two dinner-parties, and no one would believe that
+she was Harry's mother. She says I ought not to be exasperated over
+anything, because nothing in the world can be so exasperating as having
+a son with a moustache when you don't look thirty-five, and that she
+doesn't let _that_ worry _her_. M. Sibilet is going to give a dinner for
+her at the Ritz, and she's going to get a lace dress all in one piece,
+and she says it was she who told Mr. Edgar that we were coming from
+Rouen, and that Betty Burleigh is considered very fast, and that it
+won't take long for her to settle Uncle. I'm sure I hope so with all my
+heart; but I don't believe he'll like the idea of the dinner-party much.
+Mrs. Clary says Mme. Sibilet's chateau is a perfect castle, and that one
+of the French officers in the automobile was a duke. She says we must be
+patient, and Uncle will get used to the Continent, just as all American
+men do. She says they never take to it like women, though. The other
+French officer was in the ministry once, and counts more than any duke.
+Mrs. Clary is always so sweet and comforting, and she is such a nice
+chaperon, because she always has men enough herself never to be
+spiteful.
+
+Mr. Chopstone sent Edna back a _petit-bleu_ that he had the box at the
+opera, and what should he do about it. Mrs. Clary says for us to go. She
+says she'll take care of Uncle, for she wants to straighten out her
+accounts, and she can just as well straighten him out at the same time.
+She gave me a long letter from Lee that he left with her, and she told
+Edna to go and have a nice walk with Harry, and she'd tell Uncle they
+were both asleep in their rooms. I declare, it's good to have her back.
+I feel as if a mountain was lifted off me, and on to her. She says you
+never dreamed of such fun as she's had out there at Neuilly, and that
+it's quite absurd--my worrying over little things like Lee and Uncle.
+
+She talked so much that I grew quite light-hearted, and had early dinner
+and went off to the--
+
+I'll have to write the rest to-morrow. A boy says Uncle wants to speak
+to me.
+
+
+                                                           _Next day._
+
+I do believe Lee knows better how to manage Uncle than all of us put
+together!
+
+When Uncle sent for me, I saw right off that Mrs. Clary hadn't gotten
+him anywhere near all smoothed out. He looked awfully vexed, and he
+told me he was done with Paris and he was going to clear out at once. He
+said he knew that Edna and I wanted to go to Italy, but, unfortunately,
+he couldn't see it himself in that light. Then he paused and said "Hum!"
+and I waited. After a little he said that he'd happened to run across
+two or three things lately that had rather interested him in Brittany,
+and how would I like to go there. I was almost stunned at the success of
+Lee's scheme, and I was so happy that I suddenly felt as if I wanted
+Mrs. Clary and Edna to be happy, too, and I threw my arms right around
+his neck and said: "Oh, _Uncle_, let's go off together--just you and
+me--and have a real good time together, all by ourselves. Will you?"
+
+I must have done it _very_ well, for Uncle's face smoothed out at once,
+and he told me that he'd been meaning to give me Aunt Jane's watch ever
+since she died, only that it needed a new spring, and he never could
+remember to take it to the jeweler's. His face clouded some later, and
+he shook his head and said he wished he felt more security as to Mrs.
+Clary and Edna; but then he crossed his legs the other way, and said we
+only had one life to live, and could I be ready to start by day after
+to-morrow. I said that I was sure I could, and he said "Hum!" very
+pleasantly, and I went to my own room and told Mrs. Clary. She was so
+pleased; she says I am a saint, and that it's too bad for me to miss
+the dinner. She is going to wear her pink pearls, and she says that she
+will try to telegraph Lee.
+
+I will confess that my heart sinks a little bit from time to time when I
+think of trying to bear Uncle all alone for I don't know how long; but I
+have great faith in Lee, and I know that he'll be somewhere along the
+coast, and that will be a comfort.
+
+Uncle has been out and bought a Gaelic grammar and the history of the
+Siege of La Rochelle, for he says he wants to have some intelligent
+conception of what he sees. He wants me to learn the grammar, and he
+says, where he sees to everything, he should think I could do a little
+trifle like that for him once in a while. When he put it that way, I
+thought I must try; but, oh, heavens! you ought to see that grammar!
+
+I will write again as soon as I can. Harry is going to take us all to
+the Cafe aux Fleurs for tea.
+
+                                                        Lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+VII
+
+
+My Dearest Mama: We are _en route_! We left Paris at the cheerful hour
+of 7 A.M. yesterday morning. No one was up, and there was another train
+at half-past nine, but Uncle said that, considering the work that lay
+before us, we had better not begin by dawdling. I do think there is a
+happy medium between rising at five and "dawdling," but of course I
+didn't tell him so.
+
+Edna sat up in bed and kissed me good-by. She and Mrs. Clary looked upon
+me as a cross between the saver of the situation, and a burnt offering
+on Uncle's altar; but they were all happy, and I didn't care--much.
+
+Uncle mapped out the route, and, as a result, we got down at Chartres
+about half-past nine. He put the baggage in _consigne_, and then looked
+about with the air of a charger who sniffs the battle afar. I stood
+beside him, feeling like Mazeppa just before they let the horse loose.
+
+The outlook from the station is not very attractive, and the first thing
+that Uncle said was that he didn't believe it was worth while stopping
+at all, and that he had a good mind to go on with the train; but just at
+that instant the train went on by itself, so we did not need to discuss
+the subject.
+
+You see there is a high ridge that runs in front of the station, and
+Chartres is on the other side. Nearly all the towns here seem to be
+quite a little ways from the railway stations. Mr. Edgar says it's
+because the railroads run after their passengers in Europe instead
+of running over them, as they do in America. Uncle says it's very
+inconvenient, anyhow, and he pulled his hat down hard and said,
+"Well, let's have a look at the cathedral, anyway."
+
+So we stormed the ridge forthwith, and spread down into the flat country
+beyond. As we descended the slope, Uncle began to be glad he had come.
+Chartres is very modest and mainly one story high, so the Cathedral
+towers aloft in a most soul-satisfying manner. Uncle said it was
+"Something like." I was ever so glad that he felt so because he said in
+Beauvais that something he had read had led him to expect that the
+cathedral there would be big enough to hold the Bartholdi Statue of
+Liberty in one of its niches, and of course he was horribly
+disappointed, as a consequence.
+
+We walked straight to the cathedral, and it was so big that Uncle
+thought we had better each take one side and meet behind, "so as to save
+time and not miss anything." I acquiesced, because I mean to keep him
+good-tempered, if keeping good-tempered myself and acquiescing will do
+so.
+
+We started "fair" in front of the middle front door, and I could hardly
+keep a straight face as we walked promptly and solemnly off in opposite
+directions. The cathedral is enormous and just covered with carving, and
+I was only part way down the side when I saw Uncle coming around the
+corner, swinging his umbrella in the briskest sort of manner. He looked
+absolutely disgusted when he saw me, and said in the most injured tone
+imaginable, "You must have been stopping to look!"
+
+He wouldn't hear to my continuing my tour of circumnavigation, so we
+went inside at once, and there I held the guide-book and read the
+explanation while he kept up a running contradiction of everything I
+read. I don't see the good of Uncle's carrying a guide-book, for he
+says they needn't suppose he doesn't know better than most of it.
+
+There is a wonderful carved marble screen around the altar, and a sacred
+statue with a yellow satin dress on; but being inside made Uncle want to
+be outside right away, so we left very quickly, and then he studied the
+Baedeker just long enough to let me notice how all the Roman noses on
+the kings and saints outside had been turned into Eskimo noses by the
+rains of centuries; and then he suddenly shut it, and said we would go
+right straight off then and there and see the famous enamels that Diane
+de Poitiers gave Henry II. He explained to me that this wasn't the
+English Henry II, but the French Henry II, and then he asked me which
+of us had the luggage-checks, and if I had noticed whether the train
+went at eleven or half-past. I must say it is like doing multiplications
+in your head to travel with Uncle, but of course I enjoy it, and the
+walk to St. Peter's Church was very pleasant, through quaint streets and
+along by little canals like those at Gisors.
+
+The church was open, and open in more ways than one, for they were
+tearing up the whole floor to put in a furnace and grave-stones and
+pick-axes were leaning up against the columns everywhere. There wasn't a
+soul to be seen, and Uncle was so happy to be able to poke about
+unconcierged for a while that I sat down and let him desecrate around
+with his cane until he came to with a start and asked me what I supposed
+we came to Chartres for, anyway. I got up at that, and we went to look
+at the enamels, which are in behind a locked balustrade and have
+curtains hung in front of them besides. We had to get a woman to unlock
+the gate and draw the curtains aside and explain which enamel was which
+Apostle; and uncle was very much put out over their being apostles at
+all. I don't know what he expected in a church, but he said he never
+thought about the church; he only thought about Diane de Poitiers. He
+says he doesn't think it was in good taste her having anything to do
+with the apostles, and then he read in the book again and found he'd
+made a mistake, and it was the king who gave them to her, and not she
+who gave them to the king, and that used him all up, and he said he
+wished that he had never come.
+
+I saw that we should have to have something to eat right off, so I said
+I was hungry and Uncle said that was just like a woman, but to come on.
+We found a small restaurant and had a very good lunch, and then Uncle
+said if I felt satisfied he would take it as a personal favor if we
+could go on to Dreux. I do wish he wouldn't put everything just that way
+when I really haven't done anything; but he looked at his watch and
+found that the time before when he had looked at it he had looked at it
+wrong and that we had barely ten minutes to make the train. As a matter
+of fact, the train was going then, but they don't go until ten minutes
+after in France, so when you miss a train you always have ten minutes
+left to make it. We took a cab, and Uncle made the man understand that
+if he hurried it would pay; so we galloped madly over the ridge and just
+got aboard in time to learn that Uncle had left his cane in the cab and
+that we'd forgotten our luggage in _consigne_.
+
+Of course the ride was rather gloomy, because there was almost no way to
+lay the blame on me; but after a while Uncle asked me if I really ever
+did see such a rank idiot as M. Sibilet, and he felt better after that.
+We reached Dreux about two o'clock, and I telegraphed back about the
+luggage while Uncle looked up a train for Argentan and set his watch by
+the railway time. He told me that the train that he had decided on left
+at 3:04 and that we could make it and see the mausoleum "easy." I never
+contradict Uncle, because it doesn't do any good and does upset him
+awfully, so I went with him to get the cab, and wondered how long a
+mausoleum usually took to examine.
+
+[Illustration: Dreux]
+
+It seems that there are no cabs in Dreux!
+
+I thought that that would end the mausoleum, but Uncle merely swept his
+eyes over the prospect and said we'd have to walk, and walk pretty
+prompt. It was 2:10, and we walked fast. The mausoleum is on top of a
+hill, and Uncle said we could catch our breath after we got to the top.
+We never spoke a word going up. I knew that I was too young to die of
+heart-disease, so I didn't care, if he didn't.
+
+It was a terrible climb, but we reached there at 2:32. It's the
+mausoleum of the Orleans family, and is modern. There is a concierge who
+takes you around, and we followed him, Uncle with his watch in his hand
+and going on like this: "2:40--tomb of the king's mother, eh? Fine old
+lady! 2:41--tomb of the Duc d'Aumale; good face, handsome decorations on
+his bosom, stained-glass windows--all made at Sevres, eh? 2:43--" etc.
+You can imagine!
+
+But what you can't imagine is the sublime and peaceful beauty of all
+those exquisite marble people sleeping there under the slanting rainbow
+sun-rays of the magnificent windows. They affected me so deeply that,
+in spite of Uncle, I could hardly keep back the tears. They didn't seem
+living and they didn't seem dead; I don't know what they were
+like--spirits made visible, perhaps. The Duchesse d'Orleans has her arm
+stretched across, so that it touches her husband, who was the eldest son
+of Louis Philippe. The king himself stands upright in the midst of them
+all, and Queen Marie Amelie kneels at his side in a beautiful pose. Two
+precious little babies are sculptured together on one tomb, and all the
+while we were going about, the place resounded with the echoes of the
+chisels that were preparing a place for the Prince Henry who was killed
+in Africa.
+
+I could have stayed there hours, wrapped up in the mystery and wonder of
+it all, but Uncle fell down some steps while he was looking at his
+watch, and we departed forthwith. He said we must walk fast, and so
+again we walked fast. Of course it was easier, though, going down-hill,
+and I said, when we were near enough not to be anxious any more, "It was
+worth seeing, wasn't it?" To which Uncle replied: "Yes, if you enjoy
+that kind of thing; but all I could think of was the idea of spending
+such a lot of money on statues and then not having any cabs at the
+depot."
+
+There was no time to get anything more to eat at the moment, so I just
+held my tongue until we were safely on the train again.
+
+We reached Argentan at 6:15 and I felt as if I'd been running Uncle,
+or, rather, running with Uncle, for a month.
+
+The next morning we were called at seven, and I really thought that I
+could not get up at first; but, I made it at the third try, and Uncle
+and I were out "seeing Argentan" at eight. At half-past he declared that
+there was really nothing to see, so we went to the _gare_, and he bought
+a Paris "Herald." As we were sitting there waiting for the 8:04 train to
+Couliboeuf, in came Elfrida Sanders and her sister with bicycles. I was
+_so_ astonished, and Uncle was rather pleased, too. They are doing
+Normandy on wheels, and they have their tools and a kodak and a small
+set of toilet-things and four clean collars all tied on to them.
+Elfrida says they've had a lovely time--only broken glass once, and rain
+two days. The sister is going to write a book and call it "Two on a
+Trot." I think that's a funny name for a bicycle story. Uncle said to
+call it "Two on a Tire"; but you know how stupid Elfrida is, and so she
+said, "Oh, but it's not a tandem." They were going to Couliboeuf, too,
+but we couldn't go together because they were traveling third-class.
+Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a dollar a day,
+and Uncle said "Great Scott!"
+
+[Illustration: "Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than
+a dollar a day, and Uncle said 'Great Scott!'"]
+
+While we were on the train it began to rain and then it poured. Uncle
+became very gloomy and said that is just what we might have expected.
+I didn't expect rain, and I didn't see why I should have expected it,
+so I only nodded. Uncle didn't like my nodding, and said I shouldn't
+take such a pessimistic view of life at my age. While he was talking I
+suddenly remembered the umbrella and asked him where it was, and he had
+left it in Argentan! Then there was no more conversation.
+
+[Illustration: Falaise]
+
+We had to change cars at Couliboeuf, and we reached Falaise about noon.
+Elfrida and her sister got right on to their wheels and bumped gaily
+away over the cobblestones at once. The rain was over and the sun was
+shining, but Uncle said he had lost all faith in France and wanted to
+buy another umbrella the very first thing. We went to a store, and he
+said to buy a cheap one, as I would be sure to lose it. I asked for a
+cheap one, but the woman was quite indignant and said that she did not
+keep any cheap umbrellas--that the lowest she had was two francs--forty
+cents. I had to translate it to Uncle, and he was so amused that he
+bought one for three francs and gave a franc to her baby that was tied
+in a high chair by the window.
+
+Then we took a cab to the castle and paid the man at the entrance and
+let him go. There is a lovely sloping road that follows the curve of the
+outer wall up to the summit of the hill, and we forgot how tired we were
+in thinking how pretty it was. These old castle enclosures are all so
+big. This one contains a college at one end, and then there is quite a
+wood which you must walk through before you come to the castle itself at
+the other end.
+
+The castle is wonderful. It is splendid and big and old and strong and
+Norman. It is built out of the red rock, and it has oubliettes and wells
+and pits and towers and everything of the kind that heart could wish to
+see. We saw the room where Prince Arthur was imprisoned for seven years
+and the room where William the Conqueror was born. It's a very little
+room in which to have had such a wonderful thing happen.
+
+[Illustration: "Paid the man at the entrance and let him go."]
+
+Uncle enjoyed the castle immensely; he took the deepest interest in
+every inch of it, and when the concierge showed us the window from which
+Robert the Devil first saw Arlette, he planted himself firmly inside it
+and I almost thought that he was going to stay there forever. My feet
+ached so that I was glad enough to lean up anywhere for a minute, and
+I honestly believe that it was ten before he moved. Then he gave himself
+a little shake and said: "Well to think of owning this place, and being
+able to stand in a window as high up as that one, and then to look down
+as far as that well is, and then only to need to say, 'Bring her up!'
+and to know she'd got to come! Great Scott! No wonder their son
+conquered England. I'm only surprised that he didn't wipe Europe off the
+face of the continent!" Then he shook his head for quite a little while,
+and we got under way again and went to Talbot's Tower.
+
+[Illustration: "The coming down was awful"]
+
+It's high, and Uncle wanted to climb it. I didn't mind his climbing it,
+but he wanted me to climb it, too, and some one was ringing the bell,
+so the concierge had to leave us and go back before anything was
+settled. Uncle said it was rather hard when he was doing so much to try
+and finish me up (he meant "finish me off," I think), for me to be so
+lukewarm about being finished so I started in to climb, although my
+knees felt like crumpled tissue-paper. [1]The steps were so worn that it
+was awful work and Uncle would go up as far as anyone could. He had the
+umbrella and I had the candle and often we had to step two and even
+three steps at once. When we came to the place where the steps ended,
+he stood and peeked out of a window (imagining himself Lord Talbot, I
+reckon--) and then we started back. The coming down was awful,--I was
+honestly frightened. Uncle went first and I stepped on his coat twice
+and spilt candle-grease on his hat. Uncle found it easier coming down
+than going up, and it wasn't until we reached the bottom that we
+discovered that the reason why was because he had left the umbrella
+behind and so had two hands to hold on by. I said, "Never mind, it only
+cost sixty cents"; but he was not to be comforted, and said bitterly,
+"You forget the franc that I gave her baby." I would have gone back for
+it, but I felt so hot and tired.
+
+  [1] The author begs the reader's lenient consideration as to
+      this description of Talbot's Tower. The story was written
+      from notes taken five years ago, since which time the tower
+      has undergone a thorough restoration.
+
+We came to Caen this noon, and went to bed, and I don't believe we shall
+ever get up again. Uncle said that with my kind permission he would
+suggest that I should not disturb him, and heaven knows that I have no
+desire to. I telegraphed Mrs. Clary about mail, and then I went to sleep
+and I slept until just now.
+
+I never was so near dead in all my life; but you mustn't think for a
+minute that I'm not having a lovely time, for I am, and it was so kind
+of Uncle to bring me. Now good-by, and with much love,
+
+                                                            Yours,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+VIII
+
+UNCLE JOHN PARALYZED
+
+
+"Come in! Come on! Well, don't you hear? Can't you understand any--Oh,
+it's you, child. I thought it was one of those darned waiters.
+
+"Sit down; pull up a chair by the bed. It's so long since I sent for you
+that I just about thought that you were not coming. I suppose you were
+surprised at my sending for you; but it was the only way to do. It's a
+hard thing to break to you, Yvonne; but you'd have to know in the
+course of the day, and I always do everything right off that I've not
+decided to wait and see about. Now don't look frightened, my dear;
+nobody's _dead_--it's only that I'm paralyzed!
+
+"There, what do you think of that? Yes, it's true for a fact. My legs! I
+had some premonitory symptoms yesterday going up that cursed old tower,
+and I had some very advanced ones coming down from it; and this morning,
+when I started to shave, the truth just burst in my face. Now, don't try
+to say anything, for I've read too many patent-medicine advertisements
+not to recognize paralysis when I feel it up and down the back of my own
+legs. I'm not the man not to know my own feelings, and I want to tell
+you that when I got up this morning I couldn't stand up, and then, after
+I stood up, I couldn't sit down; and if that isn't a clear case of
+having completely given out, I don't know what you would call it.
+
+"Now, my dear, the question is, what's to be done? Of course our travels
+have come to a full stop, for I shall probably never walk again. The
+curious thing is that I don't feel any particular inclination ever to
+walk again. You've no conception of the sentiments that I feel in my
+legs; but if you roll the fatigue of a lifetime into either the left or
+the right, you can get some faint inkling of the first freshness of
+paralysis. I tell you, Yvonne, it is awful. Every cobblestone I've gone
+over seems to be singing in my calves; but that's neither here nor
+there. What I want you to do is to go to the pocket of my valise get out
+the cable-code book and look out a word that means 'Both legs paralyzed.
+What shall I do with the girls?' You'll find a word that means it, if
+you look long enough. They've got forty pages of words that mean every
+fool thing on earth from 'It's a boy' to 'Impossible to lend you ten
+dollars.' I was reading it over in Paris the other day while I waited
+for my money at the bank.
+
+"Well, ain't you going to get the code-book? I don't want to be
+impatient, but I want some one to be doing something. You don't know how
+restless it makes me to think of lying still for the rest of my life.
+While I was waiting for you, I was thinking that probably I shall live
+right here in Caen till I die. I'm very glad we got here too late to see
+anything, because now I can take it bit by bit and drag it out through
+my remaining days. I shall have a wheeling-chair and a man to push me
+around, and--well, maybe it's in the little outside pocket. I know I had
+it in Paris, anyhow; I remember I was just reading that 'salsify' means
+'Your mother-in-law left by the ten o'clock train,' and that 'salsifry'
+means that she didn't, when they brought me my money, and I was free to
+go.
+
+[Illustration: "'I'm happy that it will be out of the question for me
+ever to travel again.'"]
+
+"Well, now you've got it. I thought maybe it would be in the little
+valise all the time. Seems to me the sicknesses begin with 'Salt.' I
+remember 'Saltfish' means 'have got smallpox; keep away,' and
+'Saltpetre' means 'have got a cold; come at once.' You look along there
+and find 'paralysis.' I'll just keep quiet while you're looking. I'd
+better be learning to keep quiet. Keeping quiet must be the long suit of
+the paralyzed, I should fancy. But you see what it is now to be an
+optimist. Here's my life practically over all of a sudden, and, instead
+of being blue, I'm as cheerful as a cricket. No need of fussing over the
+candle-grease on my hat now, for I shall never wear a hat again, I shall
+wear a soft felt tied over my ears with a plaid shawl as they always do
+in rolling-chairs; as for the umbrella, I'm actually glad I left it. It
+would only have been an aggravation to have seen it lying around. But
+all the same I can't see why you didn't notice it lying down there. It
+must have been in plain sight,--I remember pointing over at Mont Mirat
+with it, and saying the rock looked as if it had been dropped there from
+above. Yvonne, I tell you when I think of all we did these last two days
+I feel perfectly content to be paralyzed. I'm glad to think that I've
+got such a good excuse to stay right in bed; I'm happy that it will be
+out of the question for me ever to travel again. I feel as if I've
+traveled enough to last me forever; I actually don't want to see
+anything more. No more catching trains and climbing castles for your
+Uncle John--not in his life. You can put the Baedeker in the fire right
+now--I never want to see a red cover or a green string or an index
+again as long as I live. What's that? No, I sha'n't want it to look over
+and recall things by; I can recall more than I want to just by the way I
+feel. I don't need any guide-book to remember what I've been through
+since I left Paris. I remember too much. I remember so much that I am
+rejoiced to think that muscles over which I have no control will prevent
+my having to go out to-day and see anything else. It seems a little hard
+to think of having sight-seen so hard that you never want to see another
+sight, but I'm perfectly content. And I don't want a doctor, either;
+I've no faith in French doctors. It would be just like one to hypnotize
+me and set me going again, and I don't want to go. I want to lie right
+here, and I thank the Lord that I have money enough to allow me to lie
+here forever, if I feel like it. I was thinking this morning what a
+horrible existence a tramp must lead--always going on to new places.
+Thank Heaven, I can just settle down in this old one and stay on
+indefinitely. I want you to go down to the office and ask what rate
+they'll make for this room by the year. I want this same room right
+along. It's the first restful spot I've struck since my trunk went smash
+into that ship. Yvonne, did you notice the way they handled those trunks
+when we landed--as if they were eggs? I tell you, the baggage system at
+home is a burning disgrace. That's one reason I like Europe so--it's
+quiet and peaceful. I heard some goats go by this morning; I'd like to
+know a hotel in America where you can listen to a goat. And then that
+wallpaper, what a tranquil pattern--a basket of sunflowers upside down
+alternately with a single palm upside up! What a contrast to the paper
+on that room I sailed from! It looked more like snakes doing physical
+culture than anything else.
+
+"Yvonne, I was thinking it all over as I lay here this morning waiting
+for you, and the truth is, we've been traveling too fast. I wanted you
+to see all there was to see, and I overlooked myself completely. Don't
+feel badly, child, because I know you never meant it; but it _is_ the
+truth, and, as a consequence, here I lie paralyzed. Yes, we've been
+traveling too fast. It's the vice of the American abroad; it's the
+terrible secret drain upon the strength of our better classes. We come
+over to rest, and if we don't do two countries a week we feel we've
+wasted our money. The idea of leaving Paris in the morning and doing
+Chartres and Dreux and getting to Argentan that night! Why, Hercules
+himself would have been used up. And then that castle at Falaise. But
+I'm not sorry that I went to Falaise. No, I'm not sorry. Yvonne, there
+was something about that castle that I'll never get over. I tell you
+those were the days to live in! I was thinking about it while I was
+waiting for you this morning. Will you consider what it must have been
+to put on a suit that you couldn't be punched through, and then get out
+with an ax that faced two ways and have full freedom to hack at people
+you hated. I tell you, child, I should have been one of those who
+barricaded themselves behind the dead bodies they had killed and kept
+right on firing over the top. And to-day my armor would be hanging up
+somewhere all full of dents and rusty blood-stains, and I'd be a sight
+in some cathedral with your Aunt Jane wearing a funnel and an accordion
+beside me. We'd both be in marble, of course, some worn by time and some
+chipped by tourists--ah, well!
+
+"Can't you find anything suitable in that code-book? Here, I've been
+waiting a quarter of an hour for you to hunt--hand me the book. I
+remember 'Shell' is 'have broken my left leg,' and 'Shell-fish' is 'have
+broken my right leg,' and 'Shawl' is--wait a bit--keep still, Yvonne; no
+one in the wide world can study a code and listen at the--
+
+"Oh, well, I'll leave it till to-night. Not that I'm irritated at your
+interruption, for I never let anything ruffle me, and when you write
+home the first thing I want you to tell your mother is that being
+paralyzed has not changed me one particle. Same even disposition, same
+calm outlook on life, same disinclination to ever bother anyone. I want
+you to make them understand in particular how cheerful I am. Some men
+would turn cynical at waking up paralyzed, but not me. I feel as if I
+might get about quite a little in Caen, maybe even get to Falaise again
+some time; but you can bank on one thing, and that is that if I ever go
+back to Falaise I won't go up that tower again. I was wondering this
+morning as I lay here waiting for you how in thunder you were holding
+that candle to spill so much grease on my hat. You can't say that you
+didn't know I was there, for every second step you took your foot hit me
+in the small of the back. You ought to have gone first, anyhow. I know
+the rule is for a man to go first going down a staircase, but I don't
+call that business we were on any staircase; it was more like a series
+of cascades with us forming the merry, leaping, part. I tell you what,
+Yvonne, the next time it's up to your Uncle John to play the chamois
+that springs from crag to crag over an old middle-aged staircase while
+his niece pours candle-grease on his hat, you can excuse me.
+
+"What I like is clean, open-to-the-day-light ruins like that old one at
+Jumieges! No peril, no anxiety--all on a level, and time to look up at
+what wasn't. I tell you, I wouldn't have missed seeing Jumieges for
+anything. I was thinking this morning as I lay here waiting for you that
+I have a good mind to write a book about my travels, and that when I do
+I shall have the frontispiece, me in front of Jumieges. I could take an
+artist down there on purpose, and while he wasn't doing me, I could look
+it all over again. Maybe I could go there alone with a kodak and get a
+satisfactory frontispiece, only those rocks were so thick that most
+people would think it was a defective plate. I shouldn't like to have
+them think that, for if I was going to have a book at all, I should have
+it in good style--gold edges, bevel-plate, and so forth, don't you know.
+I'd like to write a book about Europe, I vow. I haven't been here very
+long, but I'll swear I know ten times more than any book ever tells. It
+never said a word in Baedeker about there not being any cabs at Dreux,
+or about the condition of those steps in Talbot's Tower, and such
+things ought to be known. It's all right to make light of perils past,
+but those steps were too dark for me to ever make light of in this
+world. Up toward the top where we had to sit down and stretch for the
+next one--you remember?--I must own that I was honestly sorry I came.
+
+"Well, my child, it must be nearing noon, and I feel like taking a nap
+before dinner. Suppose you go in and write to your mother and Mrs.
+Clary. After your mother gets the cable, she'll naturally be anxious for
+details, and she won't want to wait longer than ten days to know all. I
+wish you'd ring and tell them to bring me some hot water before you go;
+tell them I want it in a pitcher. Make them understand a pitcher. They
+brought it last night in a sort of brass cylinder, and I couldn't get
+the thing open anyway--had to use it for a hot-water-bag in bed in the
+end. It worked fine for that. Never cooled off all night, in fact, I
+couldn't put my feet against it till morning.
+
+"There, now, you go on and leave me to sleep. You haven't the faintest
+idea of how used-up I feel. Don't forget to write your mother how
+cheerful I am; don't forget the hot water. I'll send for you when I want
+you. There--there--I'm all right, child, don't you worry. Just pull the
+curtains and let me sleep."
+
+
+
+
+IX
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                               _Caen._
+
+Dearest Mama: We are still there, and I'm so happy Uncle is in bed, and
+at first he thought he was paralyzed, but now he says he's only refusing
+to take chances. It's so nice having him in bed, because Lee is here,
+and Uncle makes it all right without knowing anything about it. It was
+yesterday that he thought he was paralyzed; he sent for me before I was
+awake to tell me. I was so dreadfully stiff and lame that I thought at
+first that I could not get up; but of course I did, and went to him as
+soon as I could. He told me that he was paralyzed, really paralyzed; but
+I wasn't frightened, because, when he explained his feelings, I knew
+every one of them, and of course I knew that I wasn't paralyzed. Only
+when he rolled around upon his pillows and said he certainly would end
+his days right here in Caen, I couldn't help wishing that he had left me
+to enjoy my pillows, also.
+
+But he wanted to talk, so I listened for ever so long; and then he
+wanted to sleep, so I came away to write you, and there was a note from
+Lee in my room. He was down-stairs waiting, and I went right down, and
+my, but it was good to see him! I didn't kiss him, because it was a
+hotel parlor, even if we don't know any one in Caen; but I told him
+about Uncle, and he said it was fine and that he hoped he would be in
+bed a week, but no such luck. The yacht has broken a thumb-screw, or
+whatever it is on a yacht, and they have all come here to meet some
+automobile people. Lee looks real well; he says he's had no end of fun
+lately, and that it is a shame I can't go, too.
+
+While we were talking, Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley came in. I didn't know
+that she was in Europe, and Lee was dreadfully put out for she sat right
+down and asked all about us. Lee explained that he was here with a yacht
+and that I was here with Uncle; but she didn't seem to believe us, and
+shook her head, and asked about Mrs. Clary. She said Mr. Chigley was
+here, too, and they have seen a monument in the cemetery here that is
+just what they want for Mr. Catherwood. She says Mr. Catherwood was so
+clear-cut and Doric in his ideas that it has been very hard to find the
+right thing. She said Mr. Chigley was out making a sketch of the
+monument then. She says Mr. Chigley is devotion itself to Mr.
+Catherwood's memory, and cabled a beautiful wreath on his wedding
+anniversary and palms tied with purple the day he died. She said she was
+very happy, and Mr. Chigley just loves to hear her tell stories about
+Mr. Catherwood by the hour. Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and I
+know she didn't like it by the way she looked at him. It was awfully
+trying to have her just then, because, of course, there's no telling how
+long Uncle will stay paralyzed. We really thought she would stay until
+lunch-time, but Lee yawned so that she went at last.
+
+[Illustration: "Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and I know she
+didn't like it by the way she looked at him."]
+
+Lee said that we ought to join them in the touring-cars and do Brittany
+that way, but he didn't like to tackle Uncle. He says Uncle is a very
+tough proposition, because he is so devilish observing, and he never
+begged my pardon for saying it, either. Of course Uncle brought me, and
+I must do as he wishes, but I do wish that he liked Lee. Lee says he
+wishes he liked him, too; he says it would be so devilish convenient
+just now, and he didn't beg my pardon that time, either.
+
+[Illustration: Caen]
+
+I ran up, and Uncle was still asleep, so I had lunch with Lee at the
+table d'hote. Mr. Chigley and Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley sat opposite, and
+she does look so funny with her wedding-rings and engagement-rings
+alternating on the same finger. Mr. Chigley said he should call on
+Uncle, and Lee and I were frightened to death until I remembered that
+Uncle wouldn't be able to read the card or understand the waiter without
+me. After luncheon I ran up again, and Uncle was still asleep, so we
+went out to walk. We had a lovely walk, and never looked at a sight, and
+when we came back I ran up again, and Uncle was still asleep; so Lee and
+I sat down in the parlor, and we were just going to be so happy when
+Pinkie and Bunnie Clemens came in. Well, really, I hardly knew either,
+they have changed so, and Pinkie has a beard and Bunnie is over six feet
+high. They are on a bicycle tour with eight men, and they saw Elfrida
+and her sister yesterday, headed for Bayeux. Pinkie says it's been such
+bad weather they've had to tie umbrellas and waterproofs to them, too.
+He says Elfrida looks half-witted, and her sister looks like a full
+idiot. I was so glad that I had on a Paris frock. They wanted me to go
+to the theater with them, but of course I couldn't, for I couldn't be
+sure about Uncle's staying paralyzed.
+
+He slept till eight o'clock last night, and then he had dinner and went
+right to sleep again, so I could have gone to the theater after all; but
+how could I know to dare to risk it?
+
+Lee and the men from the yacht are at another hotel, so he didn't come
+very early this morning, and it was fortunate, because Uncle sent for me
+about nine to explain Mr. Chigley's card, which they poked under the
+door last night. Uncle was so curious to know what it was that he got
+out of bed and found he could walk. He said he had never felt sure that
+it was paralysis, only he wanted to be on the safe side, and he is in
+bed still, only he is so lively that I am half crazy over Lee. If Uncle
+concludes he's all right, and comes down and finds Lee, I know he isn't
+going to like it at all. Pinkie and Bunnie have gone on to Mont St.
+Michel, and the Catherwood-Chigleys took the train for Dol right after
+breakfast. Mr. Chigley was very sorry not to see Uncle, and Mrs.
+Catherwood-Chigley said she should write you all about how well and
+happy I was looking. I know that what she really means to write about
+is Lee; but you know all about him, so I don't care.
+
+Lee says if there was time he'd go to Paris and get a nurse and an
+electric-battery and have Uncle kept just comfortably paralyzed for a
+few more days, but there isn't time, and I am so worried. If Uncle loses
+any more patience with Lee, he won't have any patience left at all, and
+I'll have to go all of the rest of the trip that way. We took a walk
+this afternoon to consult, and we saw Elfrida and her sister. They have
+cut off their hair, because it bothered them so, coming down in their
+eyes, and Elfrida says she feels all the freedom of a man thrilling
+through her--you know how funny she always talks. They have seven
+calloused places on the inside of each hand from the handle-bars, and
+Elfrida says she's sure their insteps will arch forever after. They were
+coming out of St. Stephen's Church, and the only way to get rid of them
+was to say that we were just going in; so we said it, and went in.
+
+It was really very interesting, and the tomb of William the Conqueror is
+there. He built St. Stephen's, and Mathilde built La Trinite at the
+other end of the town, partly as a thank-offering for conquering England
+and partly as a penance for being cousins. There was a monastery with
+St. Stephen's and a convent with La Trinite until the Revolution changed
+everything. William's tomb is just a flat slab in front of the altar,
+but he really isn't there any more, for they have dug him up and
+scattered him over and over again. The church is tremendously big and
+plain, and every word you even whisper echoes so much that Lee and I
+thought we'd better come out where we could talk alone.
+
+When we came back to the hotel, I ran up, and the mail had come from
+Paris; so Uncle said if I'd fill his fountain-pen, he'd just spend the
+afternoon letting a few people in America know what Europe was really
+like. I'm a little bit troubled, for I'm all over being stiff and sore
+from that climbing, and yet he seems to feel almost as mean as ever. He
+has his meals in his room, for, although we're on the first floor, he
+says he cannot even think calmly of a stair-case yet. He says that
+Talbot's Tower seems to have settled in his calves, and Heaven knows
+when he'll get over it. Lee says I ought not to worry, but to make the
+most out of the situation; but I do worry, because Uncle is so
+uncertain. And I'm perfectly positive that there will be an awful scene
+when he finds out that during his paralysis I've been going all over
+with Lee.
+
+[Illustration: "He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot even
+think calmly of a stair-case yet."]
+
+Lee and I went to walk this afternoon, and we visited the old, old
+church of St. Nicolas. It said in the book that the apse still had its
+original stone roof, and Lee said it would be a good chance to learn
+what an apse was; so we set out to go there, but we forgot all about
+where we set out for, and it was five o'clock before we finally got
+back to where it was. It stands in an old cemetery, and it says in the
+book that it has been secularized; so we climbed up on gravestones till
+we could see in the windows and learn what that meant, also. The
+gravestones were all covered with lichen and so slippery that in the end
+Lee gave up and just helped me to look. We didn't learn much, though,
+for it was only full of hay.
+
+When we got back to the hotel, I ran up, and Uncle was gone! I never was
+so frightened in my life, and when I ran back and told Lee, he whistled,
+so I saw that he was upset, too. He said I'd better go to my room and
+wait, and he'd dine at his hotel to-night; so I went to my room, and
+Uncle was there, hunting all through my things for the address-book. I
+was so glad and relieved that I didn't mind a bit the way he had churned
+everything up, although you ought to see my trunk, and I kissed him and
+told him it was just splendid to see him beginning to go about again. He
+looked pleased, but he says the backs of his legs are still beyond the
+power of description, and so I proposed having dinner with him in his
+room, which we did very comfortably, and he told me that he should
+remember this trip till the day he died, without any regard for the
+grease I spilt on his hat. After dinner he was very fidgety, and I can
+see that the confinement is wearing on him; but I don't know what to
+do.
+
+More letters came by the evening mail, and Mrs. Clary is so in raptures
+over the dinner that when Uncle asked me if I had heard from her I
+thought it was wisest to say no, because I knew that if he read how
+happy M. Sibilet was making her, he surely wouldn't like it at all.
+
+Lee sent me a note by a messenger about eleven o'clock, with
+instructions in French on the outside about their delivering it to me
+when I was _not_ with Uncle. They delivered it all right, and I read it.
+He just said that the automobiles had come, and that he was going to
+cast his die clean over the Rubicon to-morrow morning at eleven. That
+means that he is going, of course, and that I am to be left here all
+alone. I do feel very badly over it, for Uncle will be almost sure to
+find out about Lee whenever he can get downstairs again, and then I'm
+sure I don't know what will happen. Of course I've not done anything
+that I shouldn't have done; but, dear me! doing right doesn't help if
+Uncle chooses to decide that it is wrong. And if he can't walk, to let
+us go on traveling, he's going to keep getting more and more difficult
+to get along with. I don't like to tell Lee how troubled I am, because
+if Lee gets worked up and decides to take a hand in while I'm traveling
+with Uncle, I might as well be Mr. Pickwick when he rushed between just
+in time to get the tongs on one side and the shovel on the other. I
+don't want Lee trying to defend me from Uncle, because I know Uncle
+would never forgive him for thinking I needed defending. You know
+yourself just how Uncle is, and now that his legs are so stiff he is
+more that way than ever. Lee doesn't understand, and I can't make him
+understand, and perhaps it's just as well that he should go on
+to-morrow. Maybe Uncle will be better in a few days, so that we can
+visit Bayeux. He's crazy to go to Bayeux and see the tapestry, and it
+isn't so very far. But what shall we do if we come to any town again
+where there are no cabs! It would be awful.
+
+However, I shall not worry, for it's no use. Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley
+wrote me her address on one of her cards, and Lee took it and sent it
+to me with some beautiful flowers. He thought it was such a clever, safe
+idea; but just suppose we meet them again! If I didn't think Lee was
+just right, I'd think he had almost too many clever ideas; and, anyhow,
+I know that I'm sure that he has too many while I'm traveling with
+Uncle.
+
+Now, good-night, it's so very late. Don't ever feel troubled over me,
+for I'm having a splendid time, and it was so kind of Uncle to bring us.
+
+                                                 Your own loving
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+X
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                               _Vire._
+
+Dear Mama: I am the happiest thing in the whole wide world, and Lee is
+the grandest fellow! I must write you everything, and you will see.
+
+The morning after I last wrote, Uncle had me waked up at seven and wrote
+on a scrap of paper, "We leave for Bayeux at 8.30." I was just about
+sick, for I knew he wasn't able to, and then, besides, if we left so
+early, I surely shouldn't see Lee again. But I got up and dressed, of
+course, and I was beside myself to find some way of sending Lee a scrap
+of a good-by before we took a cab for the _gare_. Uncle was in high
+spirits over getting out again, and all went well until it came the
+minute to get him on to the train. Well, I do believe he was scared
+himself. Getting on to a French train is almost like going up a ladder
+that slopes the wrong way, I always think, and it took two
+commissionaires to hoist Uncle into the coupe. He was awfully worried
+over it, I could see, for he talked about what an outrageous idiot Mr.
+Chopstone was all the way to Bayeux. We had to get out there, of course,
+and I was beside myself to know how to manage. In the end Uncle came
+down so suddenly that he nearly crushed me and a meek, good-hearted
+little Frenchman who had kindly offered to help assist.
+
+[Illustration: Bayeux]
+
+The _gare_ at Bayeux is quite a walk from the part of the town where
+the sights are and there wasn't a cab or a thing on wheels. I didn't
+dare look at Uncle, for there is no train back till four in the
+afternoon. He seemed a bit staggered at first, and then he said well, it
+was level, and we'd go leisurely along and enjoy the fresh, pure, sweet
+air of the country. So we walked along, but I could see he wasn't
+enjoying it a bit, and it took us a half-hour to get to where we were
+going. We went to the cathedral first, and Uncle sat right down and said
+he wanted time enough to enjoy the ground-work of the vaulting and that
+I could just leave him and go around alone. It was my first chance to
+look at anything as slow as I liked, and I really did enjoy myself very
+much.
+
+It's a really wonderful old cathedral, and I found a nice old sacristan
+behind the altar, and he took me underneath into the crypt, and the
+crypt is the original church where Harold took the oath. It was slowly
+buried by the dirt of centuries, and when they started to put a furnace
+in a few years ago, they found it and dug it out again. It isn't very
+large, and the walls are of stone several feet thick, with little bits
+of arched windows set up too high to see from.
+
+When I came back we went to see the tapestry in the museum, and it isn't
+really tapestry at all: it's a long, long strip of linen about a foot
+wide, with scenes embroidered on it in Kensington, and over and over.
+It's really very well done, and it isn't a bit badly worn out--only a
+few little holes here and there. The scenes are very interesting, and
+some of them are awfully funny. The way they hauled the horses over the
+sides of the boats when they landed in England, for example. The Saxons
+have beards, and the Normans are shaven. I couldn't help thinking how
+funny it was that the Normans, who were regarded as barbarians by the
+French, were looked upon as tremendously effete by the English. Uncle
+took a deal of pleasure studying the whole thing, and we were there till
+it was time for lunch. We had a nice lunch at a clean little place, and
+then came the rub. There was nothing to do till train-time, and that
+terrible walk to the _gare_. I had brought a book along, so I could
+read aloud, but Uncle said only a woman would come to Bayeux and read a
+novel, and that I reminded him of Aunt Jane. You know how terrible it is
+when any one reminds him of Aunt Jane; so I closed the book at once, and
+said I'd do anything he liked. He said that that was more like Aunt Jane
+than ever, to just sit back and throw the whole burden on to him; and
+then he shook his watch and held it to his ear and said "Hum!" too, one
+right after the other. I was almost beside myself to know what to do or
+what to suggest, and just then something came puffing up behind us and
+stopped right at our side. It was a big automobile, with three men in
+it, and one jerked off his mask and jumped out over the wheel and
+grabbed Uncle by the hand. And it was Lee!
+
+[Illustration: "And it was Lee."]
+
+You never saw anything like Uncle's face! He seemed reparalyzed for a
+few seconds, and Lee kept shaking his hand and telling him how glad he
+was to see him, and how he _must_ get right into the automobile and go
+on with them to Caen. My heart just about stopped beating, I was so
+anxious, but Lee never stopped shaking, and the other men took off their
+masks and got out, too, and told Uncle he really must do them the honor
+and give them the pleasure, and in the end we got him in, and Lee won
+out.
+
+Oh, it was such fun! We had the most glorious trip back to Caen. They
+had an extra mask along, and Uncle wore it and sat on the front seat,
+and Mr. Peters, the man who owns the automobile, was really lovely to
+him. The other man and Lee and I sat behind, and the other man is Mr.
+Peters's mother's son by her second husband. His name is Archie Stowell,
+and I should judge that Mr. Peters's mother's second husband was a lot
+livelier than the first, but not so clever. Mr. Peters is really awfully
+clever, and the way he talked to Uncle was wonderful. Uncle said it was
+a very smooth-riding automobile, and Mr. Peters said it did him good all
+through to meet some one who recognized the good points of a good
+machine at once; he said not one man in a thousand had brains enough to
+know a good machine when he was in it, and that he was overjoyed to
+have accidentally met the one man who did discriminate. And Uncle said
+he should judge that automobiling was a very easy way of getting over
+the ground when one was traveling in Europe, and Mr. Peters said it was
+perfectly bewildering how the breadth and scope of Uncle's mind could
+instantaneously seize and weigh every side of an intricate proposition
+and as instantaneously solve it completely. By the time we reached Caen
+Uncle was so saturated with Mr. Peters that he even smiled on Lee as we
+got out and asked them all three to dine with us at eight. They
+accepted, and went to their hotel to dress, and Uncle went to his room
+without one word of any kind to me.
+
+They came, and we had a very nice dinner in a little separate room, and
+the way Mr. Peters talked to Uncle was worth listening to surely. And
+when Uncle was talking, he leaned forward and paid attention as if his
+life depended on every word. By ten o'clock Uncle was happier than I
+have almost ever seen him, and Mr. Peters said it was no use, we just
+simply must join their party and go on in the automobile. Lee began to
+laugh when he said that, and said: "Now, Peters, you'll learn the
+sensation of getting turned down cold." It was an awful second for me,
+because I just felt Uncle's terrible battle between not wanting to go on
+with Lee and wanting to contradict him; but in the end the wanting to
+contradict overpowered everything else, and he said: "Young man, when
+you are as old as I am you'll be less ready to speak for other people
+than you seem disposed to do now."
+
+[Illustration: "We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along
+for dear life"]
+
+And then he accepted Mr. Peters's invitation! So will you only please to
+think of it--we are touring with Lee, and to-day we came up through the
+lovely valley of the Vire to this little town of the same name. It is
+all too nice for words; Uncle sits on the front seat all the time, and
+when he gives Mr. Peters advice, Mr. Peters always thanks him and says
+that he never met any one before with sense enough to have figured that
+out.
+
+We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along for dear life.
+They didn't know us, and they are getting to look so awful that I
+thought it was just as well. Uncle says he thinks they are seeing Europe
+for thirty cents a day now.
+
+It is raining, and I must go to bed.
+
+                                                  Your very happy,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+XI
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                               _Vire._
+
+Dearest Mama: We are still here in Vire, and we cannot go on for it is
+raining awfully. It rained all yesterday, and we had _more_ fun. About
+ten in the morning an automobile arrived with a lady Lee knows named
+Mrs. Brewer and three men, and about twelve another automobile arrived
+with Clara and Emily Kingsley and their aunt Clara Emily and Ellsworth
+Grimm and Jim Freeman and a chauffeur, and about half-past one a
+runabout automobile came in with the two Tripps. We are like a big
+house-party, and Mr. Peters plays poker with Uncle every minute, so we
+can all have no end of a good time.
+
+I must explain to you about Mr. Peters, because Lee explained to me. I
+was so troubled over Mr. Peters being so devoted to Uncle and never
+winning a single jack-pot once himself that Lee told me all about how it
+is. It seems that Mr. Peters's mother was married to Mr. Peters's father
+for quite a while before he died and that Mr. Peters's father wasn't
+very well off and was very hard to live pleasantly with on account of
+Mr. Stowell's father, who lived next door and was very well off and very
+easy for Mr. Peters's mother to get along with always; Mr. Peters's
+father died when Mr. Peters was about twelve years old, and just as soon
+as it was perfectly ladylike, Mr. Peters's mother married Mr. Stowell's
+father and went next door to live and had Mr. Stowell. Lee says Mr.
+Stowell's father never liked Mr. Peters much because he reminded him of
+all those years that Mr. Peters's and Mr. Stowell's mother lived next
+door instead of living with him; but Lee says Mr. Peters is very clever,
+and he saw how much his father lost from not being easy to get along
+with, and so he made up his mind to be easy to get along with himself.
+He gets along so well with Mr. Stowell that they travel together all the
+time, and Lee says he told him that if he could get along well with
+Uncle he'd make it well worth his while; so he's getting along
+beautifully with Uncle, and Lee is making it ever so well worth his
+while.
+
+Clara Kingsley has fallen in love with one of the men who came with Mrs.
+Brewer--the tall, dark one, who does not talk much and reads German in
+his room most of his time. There are so many that I get names mixed, but
+Emily Kingsley is the same as ever, and _such_ a joy to meet again. She
+says she doesn't fall in love the way Clara does; she only gets badly
+spattered. The two Tripps are both devoted to Emily, and I think they
+are all sort of keeping along together. Miss Clara Emily asked after
+every one in our family, even Aunt Jane. Of course I told her that Aunt
+Jane had been dead two years, and you ought to have seen her jump and
+look at Uncle. She asked me if Uncle lived alone in the house, and she
+looked so reflective that I felt quite uncomfortable. I told Lee about
+it, but he says Uncle must take his chances the same as the rest of the
+world when it comes to Miss Clara Emily. I wish Lee wouldn't make light
+of anything so serious as the way Miss Clara Emily looked reflective.
+You know you wouldn't like her having all Aunt Jane's lace, and I'm sure
+that after Uncle was completely married to her, he wouldn't like it at
+all, either. I don't know what Mrs. Brewer is, but the men that came in
+the automobile with her are just devoted to her, and she makes every one
+have a good time. We played cards and Consequences all the afternoon,
+and Mrs. Brewer told our fortunes from tea-leaves in the evening. She
+told Uncle to beware of a long, pointed nose which she saw in his cup,
+and Miss Clara Emily didn't know whether to be mad or glad. She saw a
+wedding-ring in Lee's cup, and I blushed terribly and tried to cough,
+and sneezed instead; and Lee said it was an automobile tire, and meant a
+breakdown. I do think Lee is always so nice. But about eleven we all got
+a terrible shock, for the handsome man that Clara has fallen in love
+with suddenly came to the door with his German book in his hand and said
+to Mrs. Brewer, "Come to bed, Bert. I'm sleepy as the devil."
+
+You never saw anything like poor Clara! I thought that she would faint,
+for you know when Clara falls in love how it goes all through her. She
+went upstairs a little later, and, as luck would have it, she had the
+next room to the Brewers, and she says it just about killed her to hear
+him brushing his teeth, and I promised her I'd never tell, but she says
+he called her and Emily the "Yellow Kids" and laughed and laughed and
+laughed. I do think it was very horrid of him, for they can't help
+having Mr. Kingsley's ears, and I comforted Clara all I could, and told
+her that the way she puffs her hair is ever so becoming. It isn't a bit,
+but I had to be as nice as I knew how, for she was crying so that I was
+afraid Mr. Brewer would call her _Cyrano de Bergerac_, if she didn't
+stop.
+
+I had the room between Uncle and the two Tripps, and the two Tripps
+calculated their money for three solid hours, I do believe, trying to
+see whether they'd have to draw on Paris behind them or could wait for
+London ahead. The big Tripp said Mr. Peters had a hard row to hoe and
+the little Tripp said Lee had a soft snap, and then they added and
+subtracted and divided for another hour. I was almost insane when
+finally the little Tripp said: "Tell me what fifteen times nine is, and
+then I'll go to sleep," and someone across the hall hollered: "In
+Heaven's name tell him what fifteen times nine is, and then we'll _all_
+go to sleep." There was deadly stillness after that.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                               _Vire._
+
+Dearest Mama:
+
+You see, we are still here and it is still raining. Every one
+telegraphed for mail yesterday and every one got it to-day. I had your
+letters and one from Edna and one from Mrs. Clary. They are going on a
+coaching trip with the man who wasn't a duke, and Edna has bought three
+new hats. Mrs. Clary says I am an angel and that she and Edna think it
+right out of Heaven the way Lee has turned up. I had three letters from
+Mr. Edgar, and he says he is thinking of making a trip into Brittany
+and joining us. I told Lee, and Lee says he isn't thinking anything of
+the kind, not in his life. I don't really think that Mr. Edgar and Lee
+would get on very well together. I feel almost sure that they wouldn't
+like each other. Indeed, I feel quite sure.
+
+Poor Clara came to my room while I was reading letters, and she says she
+is blighted by Mr. Brewer and knows she can never get over it. She says
+she wouldn't have him know that she has the next room and can hear every
+word for anything, for she says it's perfectly awful all she's
+overhearing. She says he called Mrs. Brewer "Ladybug," and it sounded so
+sweet that she cried for fifteen minutes with the pillow around her
+head to keep them from hearing her. I'm awfully sorry about Clara,
+because she is always so sincere. Don't you remember that time that she
+was so sincere that they were afraid that she would commit suicide over
+Cleever Wiggins--and that awfully sincere time she had with young Prof.
+Cook? She says she could stand anything if she could feel that she was
+reciprocated; but she says she can't feel that Mr. Brewer reciprocates
+one bit, for he told his wife that he bet Clara would be an older maid
+than her aunt before she got through with life, and Clara says that's no
+compliment, however you work it.
+
+When we went down-stairs, Mr. Peters and Uncle were playing poker and
+Miss Clara Emily was sitting by them looking rapt. Heavens! I do hope
+it will stop raining and let us get away soon, for Uncle told me this
+noon that she was more unlike Aunt Jane than any woman that he had seen
+in years. Lee says he hopes we can get away very soon, too; he does not
+like Ellsworth Grimm. It is a pity, because Ellsworth has grown so nice,
+and with his pointed beard he is really very handsome. He has done a
+beautiful sketch of me that every one but Lee thinks is splendid, and
+I'm going to send it to you when it is finished. Uncle is very
+good-tempered, and has won over a hundred and fifty francs from Mr.
+Peters at poker. Mr. Peters says he's played poker for years without
+meeting such a rattling winner as Uncle, and Uncle believes him. The
+two Tripps want to go on, too, because they decided to wait for their
+money at London, and they are afraid they are going to run short. Mr.
+Brewer wants to go, too, because he has finished his German book. I
+think we all want to go, because two days is a long while to spend in
+Vire. Clara says if they cannot go on in the automobile, she must take a
+train, for she is getting more and more sincere the more she is hearing
+Mr. Brewer talking to his wife through the wall. Clara says he said that
+he was going to snip her nose off when they were dressing this morning,
+and she says he calls her "Puss" till Clara feels as if she should
+expire in agony. She doesn't get any sympathy from Emily, because Emily
+has another room, and Emily isn't sincere, anyhow. Emily has thrown
+over the two Tripps and taken Mr. Stowell, and thrown over Mr. Stowell
+and gone back to the big Tripp, all in just these two days. Emily asked
+me if I ever saw such a fool as Clara; she says it almost kills her to
+have such a sister and such an aunt. She asked me if I'd noticed her
+aunt looking at my Uncle, and I had to say yes. Then she said she did
+hope that it would stop raining pretty soon, for she wants to get to
+Granville and meet a man and get letters from three more.
+
+[Illustration: "Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest"]
+
+Uncle came into my room this afternoon noon and said the more he saw of
+Europe the better he liked it, and that Mr. Peters was the sort of
+friend that was worth making. He said he had decided to go on with
+them to Mont St. Michel, because they were so urgent that he couldn't
+well get out of it. He says he hopes I won't consider that he has
+changed his opinion of Lee because he hasn't, but that he will say this
+much, and that is, that the fact that a man like Mr. Peters will call
+Lee his friend proves that he must have some good in him somewhere.
+Uncle said the Kingsleys seem to be nice girls, and then he coughed, but
+I didn't say anything, so he dropped the subject. I must tell you,
+though, that Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest, and every
+one is noticing it, and Uncle seems pleased.
+
+We all played cards to-day and wrote letters and Lee told Ellsworth
+Grimm he was a blank idiot under his breath. I don't know what was the
+trouble, and Lee says it isn't any of my business, but I think we are
+all getting cross from being shut up so much in this little country
+hotel. Elfrida and her sister arrived about noon, but there wasn't any
+spare room under two francs, and so they went to the other hotel.
+Ellsworth Grimm has gone to the other hotel, too. He says it rains in
+his ceiling and he's afraid he'll get pneumonia.
+
+It's getting awful about poor Clara and Mr. Brewer, for he said
+something about her to-day that almost killed her, and that is so bad
+that she won't repeat it to me. She says Mrs. Brewer just shrieked with
+laughter over it, and told him he was the dearest, horridest thing
+alive. Clara says I cannot possibly guess the torture of being sincere
+over a married man who howls with laughter over you in the next room.
+She says she can't help hearing, and she's taken an awful cold standing
+with her ear to the wall, too. Poor Clara!
+
+Emily and the big Tripp went out and walked in the rain most all the
+afternoon, and I thought she must be very fond of him to be willing to
+get so wet; but she says all she's done here she's done to make Jim
+Freeman jealous. I was so surprised when she told me that, for Jim has
+spent the entire two days with the chauffeur under the automobile. They
+have only come out to eat and sleep, and if he is in love with Emily,
+he is certainly taking it easy.
+
+
+                                            _Vire_ (_12 M. next day_).
+
+Oh, Mama, we are so tired of this place! Clara has cried herself sick,
+and her aunt sent for the doctor. Mr. and Mrs. Brewer heard through the
+wall when he came, and heard that it was Clara, and of course they knew
+that Clara must have heard them just as well as they could hear the
+doctor, and they nearly went crazy. Mrs. Brewer came to me in a sort of
+mad despair and said Mr. Brewer was almost wild. She says she has
+mimicked Clara and Emily and their aunt over and over, and she never
+dreamed that the wall was so thin. She says Mr. Brewer talks all the
+time he dresses and undresses and says anything that comes into his
+head. They felt perfectly unable to face Clara again, and it was raining
+so hard that they couldn't go on, so they moved over to the other hotel.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (_2 P.M. same day_).
+
+It's very funny, but it seems that the little Tripp was dreadfully taken
+with Mrs. Brewer, so the two Tripps have moved over to the other hotel,
+too. Mr. Stowell and Emily want to go, too, but they are with parties,
+and cannot do as they please. The big Tripp came back for his soap, and
+said he had a fireplace and now Uncle wants to move, too.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (_4 P.M. same day_).
+
+We did move, and Lee said if we went, he was going. So he and Mr. Peters
+and Mr. Stowell have come over. So we are all here except the Kingsleys
+and Jim Freeman. I had to go back for Uncle's soap, and the little Tripp
+left his pajamas, so we went back together to get both, and poor Clara
+is delirious, screaming, "Yellow kids, yellow kids!" every minute. Every
+one thinks she is thinking of shopping in Paris, and I didn't explain;
+but while we were there, Mr. Brewer came back for their soap and heard
+Clara, and, as a result, he and his wife went on in their automobile,
+rain or no rain. They left one of their men named Scott McCarthy, and
+took Ellsworth Grimm. Ellsworth wanted to go, and Scott wanted to stay,
+so it happened very nicely.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (6 P.M. _same day_).
+
+They have just moved Clara over here. She had a fresh fit when she heard
+Mr. Brewer getting the soap, and Miss Clara Emily thought that a change
+of scene would benefit her; so they all moved over. Emily told me (I
+walked over with Emily when she went back to get their soap) that it
+really wasn't Clara at all: it was that her aunt wanted to keep close to
+my Uncle. Isn't it awful? And Uncle is so flattered, too! I do hope that
+it will stop raining to-morrow. Lee doesn't like Scott McCarthy, and it
+is a pity, for he seems to be such a nice man. It's terribly dull
+without Mrs. Brewer, she was so lively. Mr. Peters is beginning to look
+real pale, and Lee says he ought to have a monument to patience erected
+to him. Jim Freeman is worried over the automobiles; he's afraid
+something will happen to them on account of our all changing hotels.
+Wouldn't that be terrible?
+
+                                                  Lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+                                           _Vire_ (_8 A.M. next day_).
+
+P. S. Just a line to say that the sun has come out, and that we are
+all going on by train, except Jim Freeman and the chauffeur. Some one
+slashed all the automobile tires last night. Isn't that awful?
+
+
+
+
+XII
+
+UNCLE JOHN AND MONT-SAINT-MICHEL
+
+
+"Well, this is a great change from the automobile--eh, Peters? Of all
+the outrageous, heathenish actions, that cutting of automobile tires was
+the worst. Every man at that hotel ought to be hung up and high-strung
+and quartered--make an example of the whole outfit. I must say, though,
+that I blame Freeman a good deal myself. He says he felt anxious, and
+yet he never had that chauffeur set up to watch. Foolish, very foolish;
+but he'll pay the penalty, having to stay there and wait for the tires
+from Caen.
+
+"Lee, if you could withdraw yourself somewhat from the window, perhaps I
+could form some faint conception of what the country looks like to the
+north. If you and Yvonne want to compare maps, I should suggest that you
+sit side by side instead of holding the map so that it completely covers
+my horizon.
+
+"Well, Peters, and so here we are off for Dol. Dol seems to be the only
+way to get in or out of Brittany and it must have been so always, for in
+Matilda's tapestry she's got William and Harold on their way to Dol as a
+beginning to making things hot for the Lord of Brittany. Very
+interesting study, that tapestry, Peters. I wouldn't have--
+
+"Stowell, I beg your pardon, but those are my feet, and not valises,
+that you are going to sleep against. I didn't say anything as long as
+you took them as they lay, but now that you want my left foot slanting
+to the right, I must protest. Suppose you end yourself the other way for
+a change, anyhow.
+
+"Well, Peters, and so we are off for Mont-Saint-Michel, bless her old
+heart--or is Michel a him? I must say, I'm deeply interested in to-day's
+expedition. Wasn't some English Henry shut up on Mont-Saint-Michel and
+fed by ravens there, or something like that? Yes; I know there's some
+such legend, and now we're going to see the spot. How do we get from
+Dol to the mont? By Pontorson, eh? And then diligence the rest. Well, I
+must say it sounds like quite an undertaking; but then, if you leave the
+beaten path, you must always pay the price, and I must say I enjoy these
+little jaunts with a congenial party. Too bad the Kingsleys couldn't
+have continued with us. Nice people, the Kingsleys--very interesting
+girls. What did you say? Oh, yes, of course the aunt was interesting,
+too; but--what did you say? Nonsense, nonsense! But I will say one
+thing, Peters, and that is that it pays to travel around when it brings
+one in contact with people such as yourself and Miss Kingsley.
+
+"So this is Pontorson! Do we get down here? Is that the diligence? Do
+we get up there? Great Scott! how can we? And it looks to be about full
+already. Do you mean that we have got to climb that little ladder? I
+don't believe Yvonne can. I don't believe she ought to, even if she can.
+Can't we go to Mont-Saint-Michel some other way? Peters, I'd like to
+slay with my own hands that wretch that slashed our automobile. Will you
+think of the difference he is making in our comfort these days?
+
+"Well, Stowell, let's see you skin up there first. Looks easy, don't it,
+Peters? Lee, you go next. Now, Peters, it's your turn. And now, Yvonne,
+my child, steady, and start and keep right on to the end.
+There--there--catch her on top anywhere, Peters. Got her? Are you all
+right, child? And now for your Uncle John!
+
+"Ask him if this is a new ladder. I don't want to take any chances with
+an old ladder, you know. Well, what did he say? Ask him if people ever
+do fall or meet with any sort of accidents going up. Well, what did he
+say? Peters, this looks more serious every minute. What do they have the
+thing so high for, anyhow? I must say I don't like going up there at
+all. Ask him if he has ever known anyone to miss their footing? Well,
+tell him to keep a good grip on the ladder. Now then, one, two,--oh,
+this is--confound him! tell him to steady it--Great Scott! Landed!
+
+"And now that I am up, tell me how in all creation I'm ever to get down
+again.
+
+"Well, why don't we start? That's the worst of Europe, Peters--no push,
+no energy. Perfectly content to sit on a diligence and stagnate. Let me
+look at my watch. Eleven. Well, I'm not at all surprised. I wouldn't be
+surprised at anything that might occur in this vicinity. I tell you,
+Peters, it will be a glad day for me when I set my foot down hard on a
+New York steamer pier once more. I can't but feel--
+
+"Ah, so we are to get under way at last! Lumbering old concern--eh,
+Peters? Great contrast to the automobile--Lee, as there may be some one
+speaking English within a mile of us, I would suggest that you lower
+your voice a trifle and give the other fellow a chance. What? I don't
+catch what you say? Speaking to _me_? Who's speaking to me? _You?_ Well,
+what do you want to say to me? I'm right here to be spoken to, and from
+the outlook I should fancy that I was going to be right here for an
+indefinite length of time. Well, what is it? The Brewers! Where? Ahead
+there? How do you know? Are you sure? What do you think, Peters? Yes,
+that's them. Brewer seems to be underneath the machine. Well, what shall
+we do? Wave and holler? We can't do anything else if we want to. But
+they are going to be a good deal surprised to see us perched aloft like
+this. Yes; there's Mrs. Brewer sitting on the bank with McCarthy and
+the other man. I'd rather be the guests than the owner when it comes to
+an automobile any day.
+
+"Well, why don't you holler, Lee? That's it--make a trumpet out of your
+hands and just give it to them. Gee! but they are surprised! Holler that
+we are going to Mme. Poulard Aine. I suppose that they're going there,
+too, anyway; no one ever goes anywhere else. Dear me! but they're happy
+to have that automobile. Lucky for them that they went on just when they
+did. There's Brewer crawling out from under. Well, I can't stay twisted
+any longer, so we'll turn our eyes once more to the future.
+
+"What's that ant-hill out at sea? It isn't the sea, though, is it? It's
+land; gray sand, I vow. And so that is Mont-Saint-Michel? Curious. Used
+to be on land, eh, and then got to be on sea? It appears to me that we
+have quite a drive before us yet. Looks to me to be three or four miles.
+What do you say, Peters? Of course I don't know, how big the mont is, so
+I have nothing to judge the distance by; but I should say three miles at
+least.
+
+"Stowell, I've heard that story you are telling ever since I was born;
+who ever told you that it was new ought to be shot. This tendency to
+tell old stories is a perfect vice with some people, Peters, and that
+brother of yours is forever doing it. I've heard him tell about calling
+the cabman a pig in France and asking him if he was engaged in Germany
+until I'm about to the end of my patience. Great Scott! how hot the sun
+is, and no matter how gaily we lumber along, the mont looks to be
+equally distant. What is this road we're on, anyway? Seems to be a
+highway in the most literal sense of the word. Dike, eh? Built on
+purpose for tourists, I suppose--the American tourists before all, I'll
+bet.
+
+"Well, so that is the mont close to. Appears to just comfortably cover
+up the whole island. Curious collection of houses and staircases topped
+off by a church. However, my main care at this moment isn't what we've
+come to see, but how in thunder we're to get down to see it. Well, the
+people line up pretty thick, and they have the additional joy of knowing
+that every last one of us is a tourist. That's one good thing about
+America, Peters, you can travel there without being a tourist. You pay a
+stiff price for very little, but that little's good, and the game ends
+with it. Europe's entirely different: what turns on the light over the
+wash-stand turns it off over the bed, and then, with all that, they mark
+light extra in the bill. There don't seem to be any legitimate hotel
+comforts here: they're all extra. I vow, I hate to take that hard-wood
+bolster out from under my head nights, for it's the one thing I get for
+nothing in every hotel.
+
+"Well, Yvonne, I think you'd better go down first. You go next,
+Stowell, and then you, Lee. You and I, Peters, will wait and take our
+time. I vow, I'm not very keen on this descent. Just hold my hat, will
+you? Here, you, down there, hold this ladder steady. Peters, I--where's
+the next step? Peters, you--where's the bottom? I vow I--
+
+"Safe at last! quaint old place--old wall with a gate in it, eh!
+Fishing-rods and oars all about; when does the tide come in? Faster than
+a horse can gallop, eh? Well, that must be sad for the horse. Anyhow, I
+didn't ask how fast it came in; I asked when it would come in next.
+Well, ask some one. An hour after we leave, eh? Interesting. But come
+on; let's go up to Mme. Poulard Aine and eat the omelet, and then we
+can climb around some. You walk on, Yvonne, and order the luncheon, and
+Mr. Peters and I will come leisurely after. Yes, my niece is a pretty
+girl, Peters, but nothing but a child--nothing but a child. No more idea
+of worldliness than a cat has of a cactus; a great responsibility to
+travel with--a great responsibility. Between you and me, I used to
+suspect young Reynolds of paying her attention; but when he took another
+ship over, and then left Paris before we arrived, I saw my suspicions
+had been wrong. I said a thing or two about him to Yvonne, and she took
+it perfectly placidly, so then I saw that it was all off. I don't like
+to run down a friend of yours, Peters,--and I suppose he must be a
+friend of yours or you wouldn't have him along with you,--but you're old
+enough to see that he hasn't got the stuff in him to make any girl
+happy. He's too--too--well, I can't just express it, but I know that you
+understand. It takes peculiar attributes to make a woman happy. Now,
+take me for example. My wife and I were very happy; she always knew just
+what was expected of her, and she always did it. It followed naturally
+that--
+
+"And so this is the famous omelet-place. Well, in we go. Quaint--very
+quaint. Look at the chickens turning on the spit and dripping in a
+trough. My, but they look good! Mme. Poulard herself, isn't it? Good
+day, ma'am; bon jour--bon jour. Glory, what a smile, stereoscoped and
+illuminated! Makes me think of the china cat's head that we used to put
+a candle inside of when I was a kid. Do we go upstairs? Eat up there,
+eh? Quaint--very quaint. Every fellow did what he pleased to these
+walls, evidently. Well, Peters, let's sit down."
+
+"And so we now set out to climb Mont-Saint-Michel. Picturesque flight of
+steps. No, I don't mind climbing--good exercise. Curious little winding
+walk; old woman with baskets to sell. No, we don't want any; go 'way, go
+'way. Terrible nuisance such people. Here's another with yellow flowers.
+No, no, go 'way, you--and another with matches. No, no, go 'way. Well,
+that's a pretty tall flight of steps, isn't it, Peters? But I guess we
+can make it. Where's Yvonne? Ahead, eh? Well, I presume those two
+fellows can look out for her. Curious about the Brewers not turning up;
+suppose he's under the automobile yet? Wonder how Freeman is getting on
+in Vire. Let's stop and look at the view. Fine view! As I was saying,
+Peters, it was too bad the way we broke up at Vire. I really felt mean
+over leaving as we did. What did you say? Nonsense; none of that,
+Peters, none of that. But I will say one thing for her: she certainly
+was a woman of great perception--always thoughtful for others. Did you
+notice how she used to push the ash-receiver toward me? It's things
+like that that make a man comfortable. Astonishing that such a woman
+should never marry. Well, let's go on. Not more than ninety more steps
+and two flower women to get over. Peters, have you observed how many
+stairs there are in Europe? It fairly bristles with them. We go pretty
+nearly stair-free with us, and over here it's stairs from dawn till--
+
+"Great Scott, will you look at them! Oh, I never can go up there, never!
+We may as well go back. If you want to, you can go up; but I couldn't
+possibly see anything that would compensate me for those steps. I'll bet
+there are ten thousand, and like as not there are more beyond. I'm
+going back and sit with Mme. Poulard Aine till it's time to go. You go
+on alone. Just tell him we don't want any of those oyster-shell
+pincushions first, will you? Then you go on by yourself, Peters, I've
+had enough."
+
+
+
+
+XIII
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: We are all here together again except the Brewers and the
+two Tripps and Ellsworth Grimm. It is very jolly, only I am so worried
+over Uncle and Miss Clara Emily. Even Mr. Peters cannot keep them apart.
+Lee took Mr. Peters to his room and talked to him seriously, and offered
+to make Uncle still more worth his while; but Mr. Peters has been
+agreeable so long that he doesn't do it well any more. He just looks
+silly, and Lee says if he was us he'd let Uncle go rip. But of course
+Lee isn't us, and I know that he can't be expected to know just how we
+feel. If Uncle John marries Miss Clara Emily, I know no one is going to
+like it at all.
+
+[Illustration: In Mont-Saint-Michel]
+
+We went to Mont-Saint-Michel, and every one but Uncle went up, and he
+went seven flights up--he _says_ twenty, but I don't believe that there
+are more than sixteen or seventeen in all. We were ahead, and never knew
+that he had stopped being behind, and it was so interesting on top that
+I forgot I had an uncle. There are beautiful halls and cloisters, and
+then one goes down through all sorts of horrors while the guide tells
+who lived five years in this hole and who lived twelve years under
+those steps. You get to have such a contempt for people who were in
+prison only one or two years over here--as if they ought to be ashamed
+of only having been in such a short time. There is a ghostly, ghastly
+museum in Mont-Saint-Michel where the visitors walk through an unlighted
+gallery and look in at wax victims doing different things in a very
+thoughtful manner--all but one man who walked on the sand and was
+overtaken by the tide, and _he_ looks anything but thoughtful. The best
+was the battle, which was very realistic and must have been very trying
+to the leaders; for how could they get absorbed in a fight when the tide
+would drown them if they kept on a minute too long? There was a man who
+thought he would escape, and dug a way out with his nails, taking a
+short life-time to the task; and then he found he'd dug in instead of
+out, and, after letting himself down with a rope, he came to a bottom
+all covered with skeletons. I can assure you that I was glad we were all
+together and that Lee had my arm tight, for the scenes were awful, and I
+grew so sick toward the last that when we came down at the end and found
+Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily, I nearly screamed.
+They had all come while we were above, and Emily and some men were out
+walking on the sand. Clara is somewhat better; but I think she is even
+more sincere than usual this time. In her locket she has some plaster
+from the wall that she heard through, and she says she sleeps with it
+pressed to her lips. And I _know_ that Miss Clara Emily is going to do
+everything in the world to get Uncle, for Emily says she was traveling
+just with a little hand-satchel, and now she insists on a suit-case. Oh,
+dear, I don't know what to do; and Lee is tired of the situation, and
+wants to go yachting, and I want to go with him. It would be so lovely
+off yachting with Lee; and the yacht is anchored where we can see her
+from the city walls. Lee is forever pointing to her. He says Mr. Stowell
+would let him have her for a month, any day.
+
+We passed the Brewers on our way to Mont-Saint-Michel, but they must
+have seen the Kingsleys and gone back. Mrs. Brewer told me in Vire that
+they could never meet the Kingsleys again; she said that Mr. Brewer said
+if he should meet Clara he knew he should explode. I don't think that
+Mr. Brewer has much heart or he never would have called poor Clara a
+Yellow Kid; I've known Clara ever since I was a baby, and it never
+struck me that she looked like that till she told me that Mr. Brewer
+said so.
+
+[Illustration: "Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily"]
+
+We all took the tram-ride to Rocabey yesterday, but one is so afraid
+that a wave will wash over the car and drench every one with spray that
+it isn't much fun. The tide is so funny all along this coast, because
+the coast is so level that a foot of water covers a mile or so, and when
+a wave starts to come in there's nothing to stop it at all. I don't
+think that St. Malo is very interesting, but perhaps that is just Uncle
+and Miss Clara Emily. He sends her violets, and I know it is he, for
+it couldn't be Mr. Peters or Mr. Stowell, and it wouldn't be Jim Freeman
+or Scott McCarthy. She wears them pinned on in such a funny way.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: Edna has sent me the letter about your coming over, and I
+am so relieved. Perhaps you will get here in time to save Uncle from
+Miss Clara Emily; I do hope so. Edna's things must be lovely, and I read
+her letter to Lee. He says if I'm good I will have some things of my own
+some day, and I do hope so; but Uncle is so heavy on my mind that I
+cannot realize that I shall ever have any life except trying to keep
+him from Miss Clara Emily. Mr. Peters is no good at all any more, and
+has a bad cold besides. He and Clara sit on the ramparts and gaze at the
+sea, and look as if they were two consolation prizes that the people who
+won didn't care enough about to take home with them. Lee says he never
+realized that Mr. Peters could peter out quite so completely. Lee wants
+to go yachting, and wants me to go, too, and I can't leave Uncle, and
+Uncle won't leave Miss Clara Emily. It's quite stupid here at St. Malo,
+and we want to go on; but Lee won't go on, and I'd rather stay in a
+stupid place with Lee than go anywhere without him. He's mad over the
+Kingsleys tagging along, because he likes Scott McCarthy less and less
+all the time. Scott walks on the other side of me sometimes, and Lee
+doesn't like it. I think land is getting on Lee's nerves, and he ought
+to go yachting; but life is such a tangle just now that I don't know
+what to do about anything. Miss Clara Emily is hemstitching a
+handkerchief, and I just know that it is for Uncle. Oh, dear.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: Such an awful thing almost happened! Clara had a
+nightmare, and came near choking to death on Mr. Brewer's plaster--the
+locket, you know. Uncle says only a prompt, efficient, quick-witted,
+thoroughly capable nature like Miss Clara Emily's could have saved her.
+Oh, I just know he's becoming serious, and Lee says it's just tommy-rot
+about the efficiency, because all in the world that Miss Clara Emily did
+was to jerk the locket up by the chain; and she did that in such an
+awfully quick way that poor Clara says she's cured of Mr. Brewer
+forever. She will have to eat soup through a china straw for several
+days.
+
+Uncle wants to go to Carnac and see the ruins of the Stone Age, and he
+and Miss Clara Emily are mapping out a trip. I'm sure I don't know what
+I'll do, for Scott McCarthy has bet Mr. Stowell ten dollars that Uncle
+gets "hooked" in Carnac. Lee told me, and Lee himself is provisioning
+the yacht, and says he's cock-sure that he eats some of those
+provisions aboard of her himself. Emily doesn't want to go to Carnac,
+and Jim Freeman says it isn't any automobile country, on account of the
+relics of the Stone Age being so thick in the roads.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                           _St. Malo._
+
+Dearest Mama: Why didn't you write me that Mrs. Whalen was coming
+abroad? She arrived last night on the Jersey boat, and saw Uncle and
+Miss Clara Emily on the ramparts through her marine glasses. She hunted
+us up at once, for she says that affair must stop right where it is. She
+asked if you approved of Lee, and when I told her that you did, she said
+then she had nothing to say. Lee introduced her to Mr. Peters, and she
+sent him straight to bed and had them poultice his chest and
+mustard-plaster his back, for she says his cold may run into anything. I
+took her up to Clara, and she sent out for sweet oil, and stopped the
+china straw, and set her to gargling. She says it's awful the amount she
+finds to do everywhere she goes, and she was in a train accident before
+she came to the steamer, and you ought to hear how she chopped people
+out. The shade in my room didn't work, and she put a chair on a
+wash-stand, and fixed it with a screw-driver that she carries in her
+pocket. Jim Freeman wants her to go under the automobile with him; but
+she says since she's a widow she never goes anywhere alone with one
+man. Uncle and Miss Clara Emily came in just then, and the effect was
+paralyzing. Uncle turned red, and poor Miss Clara Emily nearly sank to
+the floor. Mrs. Whalen advanced toward them as if she were a general
+leading a cavalry charge afoot, and said: "Well, so the old folks have
+been out sunning themselves!" Did you ever hear of anything more cruel?
+Miss Clara Emily looked blue with rage, and said she must go to Clara,
+and Mrs. Whalen said: "John, come with me," and took Uncle off behind
+some palms, and Lee and I went away so as not to be anywhere when he
+came out.
+
+We didn't come back until nearly six, and Lee said he supposed we'd
+find Uncle and Mr. Peters learning to play "old maid"; but when we came
+in, Uncle was reading a New York paper about a month old, and Mrs.
+Whalen had gone out with Scott McCarthy to buy Clara a hot-water bag.
+Miss Clara Emily was upstairs packing, to take Clara to a specialist
+somewhere else. Mrs. Whalen came to my room after dinner, and said I
+must rub kerosene or vaseline into my hair every night for a month. I
+don't want to, but I'm so grateful about Uncle that I'll pour a lamp
+over myself if she wants me to. Uncle came to my room a while later and
+said: "Hum!" and shook his watch, and held it to his ear. I don't think
+he liked being broken up with Miss Clara Emily, but he only said that
+he was going out on the yacht to-morrow (that's to-day), and for me to
+consider myself in Mrs. Whalen's charge for the time being.
+
+He went away early this morning with Mr. Peters and Jim Freeman and Lee,
+and Mrs. Whalen and I saw the Kingsleys off for Rennes at noon. I'm sure
+Miss Clara Emily felt dreadfully over Uncle, and Emily says she's more
+than ever ashamed of having such an aunt. Emily told me that if an
+Englishman came on this afternoon's boat from Jersey, to tell him they'd
+gone to Dol. She didn't want him in Rennes, because she knows two French
+officers in Rennes. It was not a very nice day for traveling, for there
+is such a wind they won't be able to have the windows down at all, and
+you know it's only fun when you have the windows down. Mrs. Whalen says
+she'd have the windows down anyway; she says she'd like to see the
+Frenchman that she wouldn't put a window down in his face, if she felt
+like it. I asked her where she was going next, and she said she had no
+idea, but she thought to Dol and Mont-Saint-Michel, as long as she is so
+near. She says it was a stroke of luck her happening here just in time
+to save Uncle; she's positive he was holding her hand through the marine
+glasses. She says it's good she came about Mr. Peters, too, not to speak
+of Clara.
+
+[Illustration: "Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say she's going to Dol"]
+
+It keeps blowing more, and Scott McCarthy says that they'll be out all
+night. Lee will like that, and Uncle won't, and Uncle will see that Lee
+likes it and then he won't like Lee. Oh, dear! But I mustn't mind
+anything as long as Miss Clara Emily is gone.
+
+Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say that she's going to Dol, so as to
+see the tide come in at Mont-Saint-Michel, and to measure out the ginger
+so I can make Mr. Peters the tea. I'm sure I'm glad she is going, for
+she makes me so tired and nervous, always hopping up to fix something
+with her screw-driver, and I want to wash the petroleum out of my hair
+before Lee comes back. He doesn't like the smell of petroleum at all. I
+offered to help her pack, but she doesn't pack. She wears a sort of
+night-gown for underwaist and petticoat together, and the front of her
+blouse has pockets inside for all her toilet things. She says she washes
+one garment every night, and buys a clean handkerchief each Saturday and
+Wednesday, and has a pocket for her letter of credit sewed to her
+corset. I think it is awful to be so very convenient.
+
+
+                                                              _Later._
+
+She went and never said a thing about me, for it left me all alone with
+Scott McCarthy, and I know Lee won't like that at all. The mail came,
+and I thought I'd better say I had a headache and come up here to stay
+alone till Uncle comes back. I had all your letters and Edna's. Edna is
+so happy, and everything goes so smooth for her and Harry that I'm
+almost sorry some days that I'm Uncle's favorite. Lee wants to tell
+Uncle right out and be done with it; but I want to wait for a favorable
+time, and every time that things begin to look favorable something
+unexpected happens to make him say "Hum." It is so trying. Edna says
+she's getting a lot of things twice over so that I can have half, and
+she says she thinks we ought to be coming back so as to meet you. I
+can't make her understand how helpless I am, for I can't do anything
+with Uncle unless I'm alone with him enough to make him think that I
+want to do something else. And Lee thinks it is an outrage and says he
+has rights, too. I do think that if I didn't love Lee I would be really
+glad to have the world all women, men are so difficult to get along
+with.
+
+But, you know, no matter what I say, I'm having a lovely time after all,
+and I _am_ grateful to Uncle for having brought us.
+
+                                                        Lovingly,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+P. S. It is ten o'clock, and the yacht never came in. If Uncle gets
+seasick in a storm, he'll never want to lay eyes on Lee again, and he'll
+_never_ forgive me.
+
+
+
+
+XIV
+
+YVONNE TO HER MOTHER
+
+
+                                                             _Carnac._
+
+Dear Mama: I'm just about in despair, and Lee doesn't know where I am.
+We reached Carnac last night, and Uncle is "hum-ming" like a top, so to
+speak. But I must tell you all about it.
+
+The yacht got too far out, and the new thumb-screw, or whatever it is on
+a yacht, stuck, and they blew and pitched until they pitched on to the
+Island of Jersey, where Lee and Uncle went ashore for Lee to send a
+machinist aboard. While Lee was busy, Uncle just quietly went aboard the
+Jersey boat and came back to St. Malo without saying please or thank you
+to a soul. He walked in on me and told me we were to leave for Dol the
+next day, and for Heaven's sake not to remind him of Aunt Jane by asking
+questions. I was dreadfully upset, but of course I never thought for a
+minute of reminding him of Aunt Jane, so I packed that evening and left
+a letter for Lee telling him please not to be vexed. We took an early
+train for Dol (it's always Dol in Brittany), and in Dol we changed for
+Rennes. Of course I thought that Uncle was chasing Miss Clara Emily when
+I saw the train marked Rennes, but I didn't dare say a word, for he
+never spoke but once between Dol and Rennes, and that time all he said
+was "Hum."
+
+[Illustration: A Street in Auray]
+
+We reached Rennes, and I thought we would go to a hotel; but we changed
+cars again--this time for Redon. Uncle spoke again, and asked me if I
+had the Gaelic grammar handy. I said no, and he said "Hum." Then we
+reached Redon and changed cars again for Auray. Going to Auray, Uncle
+asked me what became of Mrs. Whalen, and when I told him that she went
+to Mont-Saint-Michel, he said her husband was a lucky man to be dead.
+Then we came to Auray and changed cars for Plouharnel, and I began to
+wonder why we didn't run off the end of Brittany into the sea. We
+reached Plouharnel about four in the afternoon, and took a tram for
+Carnac at once, and when we reached Carnac Uncle said to pardon the
+personality of the statement, but that he never again would try to keep
+up with the eternal activity of a young person. I thought that that was
+pretty hard when I didn't even know where we were going, but I didn't
+say anything, and when he went to wash, I gave the waiter an extra tip
+to feed us quickly. After Uncle ate, we went out and walked around
+Carnac a very little and saw all the people in their black velvet
+hat-ribbons and short jackets; but when I said they looked picturesque,
+Uncle said that they looked like darned fools, so we came home, and now
+we are going to bed. I have written Lee, but I don't know when he will
+get it, because of course it will have to go backward through all these
+changes.
+
+[Illustration: "When he went to wash I gave the waiter an extra tip to
+feed us quickly"]
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                             _Carnac._
+
+Dearest Mama: Uncle woke up ever so much better this morning, and told
+me that he pitied any poor wretch who has ever been sicker than he was
+on "that d----d yacht." He said, too, that any one who could suppose for
+a minute that he should have any serious intentions toward such a woman
+as Miss Clara Emily would be even more of an utter idiot than Mrs.
+Whalen appeared to be. He said, too, that the ticket-agent who told him
+that Carnac was an easy place to go to, ought to be strangled by the
+first traveler who got back alive from the effects of believing him to
+be telling the truth. He said, too, that if he survived Europe and
+reached home again, he'd get in a bathtub and know when he was well off
+for one while. He said, too, that when he had once looked around the
+Stone Age he was going to head for Paris with a speed which he rather
+guessed would cause the natives to open their eyes.
+
+[Illustration: "Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast"]
+
+Then he went to his room and broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast.
+
+After breakfast we went to walk and saw more stone walls than I ever saw
+before. There isn't a wooden house or fence in the whole of Brittany, I
+believe. We walked to a tiny village called St. Columban's, and climbed
+the tower of the little church. There was a fine view, but Uncle said he
+could smell the oysters for miles around, so we came down right off and
+walked back. There was a girl who said she would drive us all over in
+the afternoon, and let us take the night train from Auray; so we
+returned to the hotel and had an early lunch, and then she came to the
+door with a shaky old thing like a carry-all and a fat little horse, and
+we started.
+
+Mama, you never saw anything like Uncle. Everything was wrong at
+first--every living thing, and the one saving grace of the situation was
+that the girl who drove couldn't speak English. But after a while we
+came to the first menhirs, and Uncle just about went into a fit. They
+are the most curious things I ever saw, for they stand in parallel rows
+miles long and every one is resting on its little end and has been
+resting on its little end for thousands of years. At the first glance
+Uncle said they were arranged so just for tourists; but he got out and
+walked around them and tried to shake one or two, and then he said he
+wouldn't have missed seeing them for the world and that he should never
+regret coming to Europe as long as he might live hereafter. He was
+perfectly lovely for a while after that, and we looked at dolmens and
+cromlechs the whole afternoon, and sometimes we thought they were
+hay-mows when we saw them far ahead and sometimes we thought they were
+houses. We only had one unfortunate time, and that was when we had to
+ferry over the Crach. The ferry was on the other side, and that upset
+Uncle right away and he asked me if my experience had ever led me to a
+ferry that was _not_ on the other side. They took nearly half an hour to
+bring it across, and Uncle said that it would be a great day for Europe
+if she ever learned what t-i-m-e spelt, and he looked at me as if I were
+Europe while he said it. They are building a bridge over the Crach, and
+as soon as we embarked on the rickety old ferry, it blew in between two
+of the piers and wedged tight, with us on it. Uncle asked me if I was
+going to have the face to tell him that we were not stuck and were not
+going to be stuck there indefinitely, and I really didn't know _what_ to
+answer. The men in the boat hollered and hauled and swore in Gaelic, and
+finally we were free for fifty feet, and then the tide blew us in
+between two other piers. Uncle said he could but feel that being stuck
+twice on the same ferry was a poor reward for a kind-hearted man who was
+trying to the best of his ability to give some species of instructive
+amusement to an innocent girl, and then he looked severely at the
+setting sun while we came loose again and progressed fifty feet more. A
+great, thick wave came then and broke over the horse and smashed us in
+so hard and fast that I was honestly scared. Uncle was too mad for
+words. He said that he would just make one remark, and that was that if
+he ever gave me a chance to beguile him away from civilization again he
+would cheerfully and contentedly and silently end his days on any ferry
+which I would choose to designate to him. It was getting cold, and I was
+so tired from yesterday that I just shut my eyes and did not speak at
+all, and when we came loose, Uncle spoke to me quite gently and was very
+nice all the rest of the way.
+
+We were too late for the train and have come back to Carnac. I feel
+about done up.
+
+
+(NEXT DAY)
+
+                                                             _Carnac._
+
+Dearest Mama: Lee and Edna and Mrs. Clary are all here. Just listen. Lee
+looks like a ghost, and it seems that no one noticed Uncle go aboard
+that Jersey boat because Uncle went aboard by a gang-plank that's
+forbidden, and he thought that he was drowned, and they dragged the dock
+and sent down divers, and finally came over to St. Malo to break the
+news to me, having telegraphed Mrs. Clary and Edna to come at once. He
+reached St. Malo only to find us gone, and they have been tracing us
+with the automobile ever since. Lee is so glad Uncle is alive that he
+keeps grabbing his hand and shaking it and shaking it, and Uncle says I
+must not mention it to Lee, for it might go to his head, but that he is
+one of the few young men who have a heart in the right place, and that
+he has always had a special fondness for him ever since he was a baby.
+Lee thinks that under the circumstances we had better tell Uncle
+to-night, and we are going to. I feel rather nervous, but Lee says he
+can never stand anything like these three days again.
+
+[Illustration: "He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale to
+our trip all along," etc.]
+
+
+                                           _Midnight of the same day._
+
+My Own Dearest Mama: Uncle says yes! He says he has been carefully
+scheming and planning to bring Lee and me together for years. He says
+there are traits in Lee which are so like his own that he cannot but
+admit that Lee is one of the very few men in this world calculated to
+make a woman happy. He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale
+to our trip all along, and I do believe that he really believes himself.
+
+The Brewers arrived about nine o'clock to-night, and they are so
+delighted. Mr. Brewer is so kind; he says Uncle must go to Locmariaquer
+and around that way with them. I reckon he thinks I need a rest. We told
+them about Clara and the locket, and I thought that they would die. Mr.
+Brewer says that never a day passes without their remembering something
+fresh which she must have overheard.
+
+I am so happy over Uncle that I hardly know what to do. He says it has
+been the pleasantest trip of his life, this little tour with me, and
+that Lee must never cease to treat me with the tender care which he has
+given me all along. He says Lee must remember what a sensitive
+organization a woman has and never indulge in temper or impatience or
+strong language or sarcasm. Lee is very nice and says "Yes, sir," and
+nods every time. I do think Lee gets nicer and nicer all the time.
+
+We start toward Paris to-morrow.
+
+                                                Your awfully happy,
+                                                               YVONNE.
+
+
+
+
+XV
+
+UNCLE JOHN WELL CONTENT
+
+
+"Well, Mrs. Brewer, this is certainly the only way to travel, after all.
+Comfortable, clean,--for if there is a smell, some other fellow gets
+it,--and no jolting. And now that I have that dear child established and
+off my mind, I feel that I can conscientiously give myself a few days of
+free and easy pleasure. I've done nothing up to now but consider Yvonne
+and her needs, mental and material, and although I love the child like
+my own, still I cannot but admit that a young girl is a great care. And
+of course you never can be positive that the right man will turn up.
+However, all's well that ends well, and I'm happy to say that I'm ending
+this little trip extremely well content. Some men might regret not
+having seen more, but never me. You see, Brewer, I am one of the
+easy-going, placid, serene type, and whatever turns up suits me
+perfectly. I guess if you ask my family far and wide you won't find one
+member to deny that statement, or if you do, you will just have the
+kindness to let me know who it is and I'll take steps to prevent their
+ever expressing such an opinion a second time.
+
+"Fine view here. Good road. Believe I'll have a machine of my own when
+I get back to America. What's that island off at sea? Belle-Isle, eh?
+Dumas' Belle-Isle? Very interesting. We might make a little excursion
+out there, calling ourselves the Three Mousquetaires, eh? I'll be
+d'Artagnan; I always fancy d'Artagnan. I tell you, Brewer, something
+martial gets up and stirs around in my bosom as a result of this trip--a
+sort of dare-devil, Robert-the-Devil, piratical, Crusader sort of a
+thrill. I shall never be sorry that I came. The trip has not been one of
+unmitigated joy. We have borne our crosses,--many crosses,--and yet I
+will remark--and I'll swear it, too, if you like,--that I'm glad I came.
+
+"I've seen thoroughly every place I've been in. I've made my niece
+enjoy life, and I've made every one else with whom I came in contact
+enjoy life. I've won for her just the one man calculated to make her
+happy, and now I am headed for the one land calculated to make me happy.
+
+"I'm glad that I came, I'm glad that I came."
+
+
+THE END
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN ***
+
+***** This file should be named 35574.txt or 35574.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+        http://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/5/7/35574/
+
+Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from images generously made available
+by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
+
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
+paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.  See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
+     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
+     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+     License.  You must require such a user to return or
+     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+     Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+     of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org.  Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+     Chief Executive and Director
+     gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+     http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
diff --git a/35574.zip b/35574.zip
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..afef792
--- /dev/null
+++ b/35574.zip
diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6312041
--- /dev/null
+++ b/LICENSE.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ca0a3c1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/README.md
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #35574 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/35574)