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diff --git a/35574-h/35574-h.htm b/35574-h/35574-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e0a4ce1 --- /dev/null +++ b/35574-h/35574-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,6288 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/html4/loose.dtd"> +<HTML><HEAD> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1"> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css"> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + +.dropcap { + LINE-HEIGHT: 83%; PADDING-RIGHT: 3px; FLOAT: left; FONT-SIZE: 250% +} + +.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ +/* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; +} /* page numbers */ + +.blockquot { + margin-left: 5%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + +.bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + +.bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + +.bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + +.br {border-right: solid 2px;} + +.bbox {border: solid 2px;} + +.center {text-align: center;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.u {text-decoration: underline;} + +.caption {font-weight: bold;} + +/* Heading */ +.headbig { + text-align: center; + font-size: 1.8em +} + +/* Images */ +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; +} + +/* Footnotes */ +.footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + +.footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + +.fnanchor { + vertical-align: super; + font-size: .8em; + text-decoration: + none; +} +.trnote { + width: 30em; + text-align: left; + margin: auto; +} + +.rthead { + margin-right:5%; + text-align: right; +} +.rtxhead { + margin-right:10%; + text-align: right; +} + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Seeing France with Uncle John + +Author: Anne Warner + +Illustrator: May Wilson Preston + +Release Date: March 14, 2011 [EBook #35574] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN *** + + + + +Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="trnote"> +<p><a name="luuch" id="luuch"></a><b>Transcribers note:</b></p> + +<p>A minor error has been corrected in Chapter V (Section on Beauvaise)<br> + <a href="#lunch">luuch changed to lunch</a>.</p> +</div> +<hr style="width: 45%;"> + +<br> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 380px;"> +<img src="images/cover.png" width="380" height="590" alt="" title=""> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 440px;"> +<a name="gs01" id="gs01"></a> +<img src="images/gs01.png" width="450" height="545" alt=""I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while he +kept up a running contradiction of everything I read."" title=""> +<span class="caption">"I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while he +kept up a running contradiction of everything I read."</span> +</div><br><br> + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h1><i>Seeing France With Uncle John</i></h1> + +<p class="center"><i>By</i></p> + +<p class="center"><i>Anne Warner</i></p> + +<p class="center"><i>Author of +"Susan Clegg and her friend Mrs. Lathrop," etc.</i></p> + +<p class="center"><i>With Illustrations by</i></p> + +<p class="center"><i>May Wilson Preston</i></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 60px;"> +<img src="images/tp_gs_decal.png" width="60" height="61" alt="" title=""> +</div> + +<p class="center"><i>New York +The Century Co. +1906</i></p> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> + + + +<p class="center">Copyright, 1906, by</p> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">The Century Co.</span></p> + +<p class="center">--------</p> + +<p class="center"><i>Published October, 1906</i></p> + +<p class="center">THE DE VINNE PRESS</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"><br> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg v]</a></span></p> +<h2><i>List of Illustrations</i></h2> + + + +<div class='center'> +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs01">"I held the guide-book and read the explanations, while he kept up a running contradiction of everything I read"</a></td><td align='right'><i>Frontispiece</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs02">"She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet"</a></td><td align='right'>8</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs03">"While we walk"</a></td><td align='right'>9</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs04">Rouen--Maison du XV siècle</a></td><td align='right'>24</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs05">"'Richard Coeur-de-Lion--petrified, eh?'"</a></td><td align='right'>33</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs06">"'So that's the clock?'"</a></td><td align='right'>41</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs07">"'There's been no tampering with <i>this</i> ruin'"</a></td><td align='right'>65</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs08">"'This is as good a time as we'll have to study up on Gisors'"</a></td><td align='right'>79</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs09">"'Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt'"</a></td><td align='right'>93</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs10">Beauvais</a></td><td align='right'>96</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs11">"'What's that chopped-off creation before us?'"</a></td><td align='right'>99</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs12">"'Look how mad that old lady is'"</a></td><td align='right'>105</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs13">"We found our beloved relative"</a></td><td align='right'>116</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs14">"She took hold of our hands as if she'd been our long-lost mother for years"</a></td><td align='right'>121</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs15">Dreux</a></td><td align='right'>150</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs16">"Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a dollar a day, and Uncle said, 'Great Scott!'"</a></td><td align='right'>157</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs17">Falaise</a></td><td align='right'>160<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg vi]</a></span></td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs18">"Paid the man at the entrance and let him go"</a></td><td align='right'>163</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs19">"The coming down was awful"</a></td><td align='right'>168</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs20">"'I'm happy that it will be out of the question for me ever to travel again'"</a></td><td align='right'>177</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs21">"Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, and I know she didn't like it by the way she looked at him"</a></td><td align='right'>195</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs22">Caen</a></td><td align='right'>198</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs23">"He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot even think calmly of a stair-case yet"</a></td><td align='right'>205</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs24">Bayeux</a></td><td align='right'>216</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs25">"And it was Lee"</a></td><td align='right'>221</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs26">"We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, pedaling along for dear life"</a></td><td align='right'>228</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs27">"Miss Clara Emily is getting very much in earnest"</a></td><td align='right'>245</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs28">In Mont-Saint-Michel</a></td><td align='right'>276</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs29">"Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss Clara Emily"</a></td><td align='right'>281</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs30">"Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say she is going to Dol"</a></td><td align='right'>293</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs31">A Street in Auray</a></td><td align='right'>301</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs32">"When he went to wash I gave the waiter an extra tip to feed us quickly"</a></td><td align='right'>303</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs33">"Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast"</a></td><td align='right'>307</td></tr> +<tr><td align='left'><a href="#gs34">"He told Mrs. Clary that he had foreseen this finale to our trip all along," etc.</a></td><td align='right'>315</td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<br> +<hr style="width: 45%;"> + +<p class="headbig"><i>Seeing France With +Uncle John</i></p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span> +<br> + +<h2> I </h2> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p> +<br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Second day out at sea.</i></p> + +<p><span class = "dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: We did get +off at last, about four in the +afternoon, but you never imagined +anything like the day we had +with Uncle John. It was awful, and, +as luck would have it, he just happened +to go aft or sou'west, or whatever it is +on shipboard, in time to see them drop<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span> +his trunk into the hold, and they let it +fall from such a height that he swore for +an hour. I don't see why Uncle is so +unreasonable; a Russian gentleman had +the locks broken to both his trunks and +just smiled, and a very lovely Italian +lady had her trunk caved in by the hoisting-rope +and only shrugged her shoulders; +but Uncle turned the whole deck +fairly black and blue on account of a +little fall into the hold. If Lee had +only been along to soothe him down! +But Lee is in London by this time. I +do think he might have waited and gone +with us, but Uncle says he's glad he +didn't, because he says he has more than +half an idea that Lee's in love with me, +and that no girl alive could be happy +with him. I wish Uncle liked Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> +better. I wish Lee wouldn't slap him +on the back and call him "old boy" the +way he does.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Clary doesn't like it because she +has to sit next to the doctor and talk +English to him, and he can't talk English. +She says whenever she goes on +board a liner the doctor always spots +her as intelligent-looking, and has her put +next to him for English purposes. She says +she's made seven trips as nursery-governess +to a doctor with linguistic +aspirations. The consequence is, she +has most of her meals on deck with a +man named Mr. Chopstone. Uncle +doesn't like Mr. Chopstone, because he +says he has a sneaking suspicion that +Mr. Chopstone admires Edna. He says +Edna could never be happy with a man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span> +like Mr. Chopstone.</p> + +<p>More later.</p><br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Fourth day out.</i></p> +<p><span class="smcap">I've</span> been writing Lee; I can mail it at +Plymouth. It does seem to me as if Lee +might have waited and gone with us.</p> + +<p>We are nicely adjusted now, and Uncle +has had his trunk brought to his +room, and has examined the corners and +found them intact; so now the trunk is +off his mind. But he has almost had +fits over a man named Monsieur Sibilet, +so the situation has been about as brimstony +as ever. M. Sibilet is a Frenchman +going back to France, but his chair +is next to Mrs. Clary's, and Uncle says +steamer-chairs are never accidents, but +are always premeditated and with intent<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> +to kill. He asked Mrs. Clary if she +couldn't see that no woman could ever +be happy with a dancing fan-tan like +Sibilet. We didn't know what a "fan-tan" +was, but we all agreed with Uncle's +premises as to poor monsieur; and then +it developed that there is a Mme. Sibilet +deathly sick down below, and Uncle +said that he had known it all the time +and was only joking.</p> + +<p>Edna and Harry are very happy, but +they have to be awfully careful, because +Uncle says he has a half-fledged notion +that Harry is paying attention to Edna, +and that he won't allow anything of the +kind—not for one York second. We +don't know what a "York second" is, +and we haven't asked. Uncle plays +poker nights, and we make the most of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> +it. There is a nice Yale man on board, +and I walk around with him. His name +is Edgar. Uncle says he looks as if he +had his bait out for a fortune, but Mrs. +Clary says to never mind it—to go right +on walking. She lies still while we +walk, ande talks to M. Sibilet in French.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs02" id="gs02"></a> +<img src="images/gs02.png" width="450" height="338" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"She lies still and talks to M. Sibilet"</span> +</div> + +<br> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs03" id="gs03"></a> +<img src="images/gs03.png" width="450" height="374" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"While we walk"</span> +</div> + + +<p>Uncle says he is the head of this expedition, +and there's to be no foolishness. +He says it's all rot about a man +not being able to see through women, +and that Edna and I needn't expect to +keep any secrets from him. I do wish +Lee was here to soothe him down. He +was so furious to-day because he shut up<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span> +his wash-stand and let the tooth-powder +slide to perdition. M. Sibilet offered +him an extra box of his own, but Uncle +wasn't a bit grateful. He says he is +sure M. Sibilet is in love with Mrs. +Clary now, or why under the sun should +he offer him his tooth-powder? He says +he thinks it's disgraceful, considering +poor Mme. Sibilet, and he took mine +instead.</p> + +<p>More later.</p> +<br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Sixth day out.</i></p> +<p><span class="smcap">I do wish</span> we were in Havre, or anywhere +where Uncle had more room. +The third officer invited him up on the +bridge yesterday, and Uncle says you +needn't tell him that any third officer +in this world ever would invite him up +to the bridge unless he had his eye on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span> +Edna or me. Uncle says for Edna and +me to remember that old uncles have +eyes as well as young third officers, and +to bear in mind that it would be a dog's +life to be married to a third officer. +I'm beginning to be very glad, indeed, +that Lee took another steamer; I reckon +Lee saw how it would be. Uncle says +he'd like to know what we took a slow +steamer for, anyhow. He says it would +have been more comfortable to have all +been in death agonies and to have been +in Havre by this time. He was terribly +upset to-day by Mme. Sibilet's coming +on deck and proving to be an old lady +with white hair and the mother of monsieur +instead of the wife. He says you +needn't talk to him about French honor +after this. We don't know what the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span> +connection is between poor old Mme. +Sibilet and French honor, but we think +it best not to ask. The truth is, Uncle +lost all patience with M. Sibilet the day +it rained and pitched—I think it was the +third day out. He never did like him +very much, anyhow. Mrs. Clary wanted +to sit in the wind that day, and she and +monsieur sat in the wind until the rain +grew so bad that they were absolutely +driven to come around and sit by Uncle, +under the lee of the port, or whatever it +is on board ship. Monsieur lugged Mrs. +Clary's chair because he couldn't find a +steward, and he brought it around by the +smoking-room and the whole length of +the deck, with the steamer pitching so +that half the time he was on top of the +chair, and the other half of the time the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> +chair was on top of him. There was +no one on deck but us, on account of +the storm, and I thought we should die +laughing, because there were forty +empty chairs under shelter already. +Uncle waited until, with a final slip and +a slide, the poor man landed the chair, +and then he screamed: "I say, Sibbilly, +just take the cards out and change <i>them</i> +another time. That's the way we +Americans do."</p> + +<p>You should have seen poor monsieur's +face! Uncle said the whole affair +gave him a queer feeling as to what +might be in store for us in France. He +said if M. Sibilet was a sample Frenchman, +he thought he wouldn't get off at +Havre, after all.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Clary is in lots of trouble over<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> +the doctor. He comes up on deck and +bothers her half to death, talking English. +She can't understand his English, +and M. Sibilet gets tired translating. M. +Sibilet speaks seven languages. Uncle +says that's nothing to his credit, however.</p> + +<p>More later.</p> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Ninth day out.</i></p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Uncle</span> is in high spirits to-day, for +he won the pool. He has been so disgusted +because Mr. Edgar has won it +three times. Uncle says that's no sign +he'd be a good husband, though. I do +think Uncle's logic is so very peculiar. +He came into my state-room to-day and +asked me if I didn't think the doctor +was absolutely impertinent in the way<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span> +he was pursuing Mrs. Clary. You'd +have thought the doctor tore after her +around the deck, to hear him. He said +he expected to have trouble with Edna +and me, but he never looked for Mrs. +Clary to be a care. He said he didn't +suppose she was over forty, but she ought +to consider appearances more. He was +quite put out, and I am gladder than ever +that Lee isn't with us.</p> + +<p>We laughed ourselves half sick to-day +over Mr. Chopstone. Uncle's port-hole +doesn't work very easily, and Mr. +Chopstone heard him talking about it +to himself as he passed in the corridor, +and he went in to help him. Uncle +asked Mr. Chopstone if he had a crow-bar +or a monkey-wrench with him, and +Mr. Chopstone didn't have a crow-bar<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> +or a monkey-wrench with him, but said +why not ring for the steward. Uncle +wouldn't hear to the steward, and so +they climbed on the divan together and +tried to pry it with Uncle's hair-brush.</p> + +<p>The hair-brush broke, and Uncle +went spinning, but Mr. Chopstone +caught his cuff in the crack, and it tore, +and half of his shirt-sleeve with a diamond +cuff-link went to sea. At first +we all felt awful about it, but he was so +composed that Edna said he must be a +millionaire, and Uncle said it must be a +paste diamond. That is all only preliminary +to the funny part. This afternoon +we were lying in our chairs and +Uncle was standing by the rail looking +at a ship. All of a sudden he exclaimed, +"Great Scott! Chopstone, if there isn't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span> +your cuff!" Mr. Chopstone made just +one bound from his chair to the rail, and +looked over so hard that his cap fell into +the sea. Of course the mere idea of +the cuff having sailed as fast as we did +all day used us up completely, and Uncle +in particular had to hang to the rail +for support while he sort of wove back +and forth in an ecstasy of speechless joy. +Even M. Sibilet was overcome by mirth, +although it turned out afterward that he +thought the fun was on account of the +lost cap. And then, when we got ourselves +selves under control once more, Mr. +Chopstone explained that what he had +thought was that the cuff had caught +somewhere on the outside of the +steamer and that Uncle saw it hanging +there. Edna says that it all shows that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> +poor Mr. Chopstone is <i>not</i> a millionaire, +and Mrs. Clary says it proves, too, that +it <i>was</i> a real diamond.</p> + +<p>It is beginning to seem like a pretty +long trip, and Mrs. Clary has started +packing her trunk. The little flag that +marks our progress across the chart is +making Europe in great jumps, and we +are all glad. Uncle gets more restless +every day, and he says if the doctor +don't quit coming up on deck to talk +to Mrs. Clary, something will soon +drop. The doctor is really very amusing; +he says the first officer has a pet +"marmadillo," but we cannot see it +because it is too anxious. He means +"frightened," it seems. Mr. Edgar is +very nice; both he and Mr. Chopstone +are going to Paris. Lee will be in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> +Paris by Wednesday, I hope, and I most +sincerely trust he will keep on the right +side of Uncle.</p> + +<p>They say we will land early day after +to-morrow. I can mail my letters in +Plymouth to-morrow evening. Uncle +says he's going express hereafter; he +says no more dilly-dally voyages for him.</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Tenth day out.</i></p> + +<p><span class="smcap">What</span> do you think! Uncle took me +into the parlor after dinner to-night +and told me that he wasn't going to +Paris with the rest. He says he didn't +come abroad to scurry around like a +wild rabbit, and that he's going to stop +in Havre for a day or two. He says +Edna and I had better stay with him, +as he can't think of our traveling with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span> +Mr. Edgar and Mr. Chopstone alone. +I said, "But there's Mrs. Clary." And +he said, "Yes; but you forget Sibbilly." +I do think Uncle's logic is so remarkable.</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Eleventh day out.</i></p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Everybody</span> is getting their trunks in +from the baggage-room and running to +the rail to look at ships. Uncle won +the pool again to-day; he says this is one +of the pleasantest trips he ever made, and +he shook hands with M. Sibilet when +he met him on deck this morning.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Clary is awfully upset over our +staying in Havre, and she says if Lee is +in Paris he won't like it, either. We +expect a mail in Plymouth.</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Later.</i></p> + +<p>The mail came, and I had a letter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span> +from Lee. He is going to Russia for a +week, and he folded in an extra piece, +saying to give Uncle the letter. It was +a funny kind of letter, but of course it +had to be a funny kind of letter if I was +to give it to Uncle. I gave it to Uncle, +and he said, "Hum!" and that was all. +He says if Mr. Edgar or Mr. Chopstone +stay in Havre he'll know the reason +why. I do think Uncle might be more +reasonable. Edna has been crying. She +doesn't want to stay in Havre; she +wants to go to Paris when Harry goes.</p> + + +<p class="rtxhead">Yours with love, as ever, </p> +<p class="rtxhead"><span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="II" id="II"></a>II</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> + +<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN IN ROUEN</p> +<br> +<p class="rthead">9 <span class="smcap">a.m.</span></p> + +<p><span class="dropcap">"W</span><span class="smcap">ell</span>, girls, are you ready to +get up and out and set about +improving your minds? I've +been reading the guide-book and spilling +my coffee with trying to do two +things at once, ever since eight o'clock. +But what your Uncle John doesn't +know about Rouen now isn't worth +stopping to look up in the index. +Why, I've even got the real French +twang to the pronunciation. It's Rooank; +only you stop short of the 'n' +and the 'k,' so to speak. The waiter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span> +who brought my breakfast showed me +how to do it—said he never saw a foreigner +catch on to the trick so quick +before. I gave him one of those +slim little quarters they have here, and +he was so pleased that he taught me +how to say 'Joan of Arc' for nothing. +It's Shondark—<i>Shondark</i>. I learned it +in no time. Well, come on, if you're +ready. I've been waiting almost an +hour.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs04" id="gs04"></a> +<img src="images/gs04.png" width="300" height="448" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">Rouen—Maison du XV siècle</span> +</div> + +<p>"I declare, but this fresh, free atmosphere +is refreshing! As soon as you get +outside of your bedroom door you begin +to get the full benefit of the Continental +climate. I presume, if you're +poor, you get it as soon as you get outside +of your bed clothes. Rather a medieval<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span> +staircase, eh? And four orange-trees +at the bottom to try and fool us +into feeling balmy. However, I don't +mind little discomforts: all I mind is +being shut up on a ship with a darned<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span> +fool like that man Sibbilly. I shouldn't +wonder if his mother was his wife, after +all. I could believe anything of him. +I didn't like him.</p> + +<p>"We'll go to take in the cathedral +first; it isn't far, and I've got it all by +heart. Thirteenth century and unsymmetrical—you +must remember that. +There, that's it ahead there—with the +scaffolding. They're bolstering it up +somewhat, so as to keep on hooking +tourists, I presume. The biggest tower +is the Butter Tower, built out of paid-for +permissions to eat butter in Lent. +Rather a rough joke, its being so much +the biggest, isn't it? The whole cathedral's +lopsided from eating butter, so to +speak. I believe it's the thing to stop +in front and act as if you were overcome;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span> +so we'll just call a halt here and +take in the general effect of the scaffolding.</p> + +<p>"Now we'll walk around the whole +thing. I haven't come abroad to take +life with a hop, skip, and jump; I've +come to be thorough, and I want you +girls to form the habit of being thorough, +too. What I didn't like about +that fellow Edgar was his not being +thorough. When he went down to +look at the ship's machinery he only +stayed an hour. Now, I didn't go +at all; but if I had gone, I should +have stayed more than an hour. Good +job of scaffolding, isn't it? You see, +they make the scaffolding out of young +trees withed together, and use them +over and over. Economical. Just<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span> +about what you'd expect of Sibbilly. +Those gargoyles and saints around the +top stick their heads out pretty interested-like, +don't they? But their view +is for the most part blocked. Now this +cheerful old jail at the back is the palace +of the archbishop. I wish, young +ladies, that you would note those little +bits of high windows and the good +thick bars across them as illustrating the +secure faith that the dead and gone archbishops +had in their loving people. I'll +bet there's been plenty of battering and +rioting around under these walls, first +and last; plenty of fists and sticks and +stones. It's big, isn't it? Big as half +a block, and things look so much bigger +here than they do at home. They slide +a roof up slanting and cock it full of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> +little crooked windows, and you feel as +if you must tip over backward to take +in the top. I vow, I don't just see how +it's done; but—oh, here's where we +go in. This dark, damp little stone-paved +alley is the celebrated 'Portail +des Libraires,' so called because those +arcades used to be full of book-stalls. +We go along on the cobble-stones,ont +throw ourselves hard against this little +swinging door; it creaks, it yields, we +enter—hush!</p> + +<p>"Great Scott, isn't it big, and <i>isn't</i> +it damp? Will you look up in that roof? +I feel solemn in spite of myself; but, +then, feeling solemn is no use: what we +want to do is to find some one to open +those big iron gates, for the most of +what is to see is in back there. Edna,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> +you ask that man how we can get hold +of some other man. Well, what did he +say? Said to ask the Swiss, did he? +What does he mean by that? Is it a +joke, or can't they trust a Frenchman +with their old relics? I've been told +that in Japanese banks they always have +to have a Chinaman to handle the +money, and maybe it's equally the +thing in a French cathedral to have a +Swiss look after the relics. But the +guide-book never said a word about a +Swiss: it said '<i>fee</i>,' and I've got my +pocket full of them.</p> + +<p>"Well, where can we get a Swiss? +I should think he'd be more handy +than he appears to be. There's another +man looking for him, too. He—Great +Scott! if it isn't—no, that is impossible.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> +Yes, it is!</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon, sir, but is your +name Porter? Yes? Robert Porter—Bobby +Porter that went to the Washington +School? Bob, do you remember +me? Well, of all the larks!</p> + +<p>"Girls, this man and I went to school +side by side for eight years, and he's the +finest—my nieces, Bob. That's Edna +and this is Yvonne, and—you don't say +he's your son? Didn't know you +ever married. Oh, I'll take your word +for it, of course; but, I say, Bob, you've +got to come and dine with us to-night. +You must; I won't have it any other +way. You and I'll have to just sit +down and overhaul all our old memories +together. Do you remember—but +how do you come to be in Europe, anyhow;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span> +and what liner did you line up +on? We had a beastly trip,—only came +from Havre last night,—and, by the +way, how in thunder can we get hold +of the man who opens these iron gates? +Everything in the place is back there.</p> + +<p>"Is that a Swiss—that splendid circus-chariot +driver? Give you my word, +I thought he was a cardinal! How +much of a tip is that much gold lace +going to look forward to getting? I +wish he was plainer, somehow. I'll +tell you, Bob; you pay, and I'll settle +up later. I certainly am glad to see the +gates open; I felt more like a serpent +shut out of paradise than I ever expected +to feel in all my life.</p> + +<p>"Well, now we begin. Who's buried +here? Henry II of England, eh?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> +I can't read Latin, so Henry's virtues +and dates are all one to me. Which +Henry was he, anyhow—the one with +six wives or the one who never shed a +smile? Either way, let's move on.</p> + +<p>"What comes next? +Richard-Cœur-de-Lion—petrified, eh? Oh, +only a statue of him; that's less interesting. +I thought at last I was looking at Richard +when he was himself again. What +is our Swiss friend hissing about? Heart +buried underneath? Whose heart?—Richard's? +Ask if it's his bona fide +heart or only a death-mask of it? Strikes +me as a pretty big statue to put up to +a heart, don't you think, Bob? But +come on; I want to be looking at something +else.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs05" id="gs05"></a> +<img src="images/gs05.png" width="450" height="303" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"'Richard-Cœur-de-Lion—petrified, eh?'"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>"So this is the tomb of the husband<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span> +of Diana of Poitiers? I didn't know +she ever had a husband—thought she +only had a king. I've never been +brought up to think of Diana of Poitiers +mourning a husband. But maybe she +did, maybe she did. They say you must +check your common sense at the hotel +when you set out to inspect Europe, and +I believe it—I believe it. It's a nice +tomb, and if they kneel and mourn in a +gown with a train, she certainly is doing +it up brown. However, let's go on.</p> + +<p>"Two cardinals of Amboise kind of +going in procession on their knees over +their own dead bodies—or maybe it's +only hearts again. Well, Bob, the Reformation +was a great thing, after all, +wasn't it? Must have felt fine to +straighten up for a while. Stop a bit;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> +the guide-book said there was something +to examine about these two—wait till I +find the place. Oh, well, never mind; +I dare say a guide-book's very handy, +but I move we quit this damp old hole, +anyway. I wouldn't bother to come +again. That's a sad thing about life, +Bob; as soon as you get in front of anything +and get a square look at it, you're +ready to move on—at least I am.</p> + +<p>"What's he saying? Well, ask him +again. Whose grave? Well, ask him +again. Rollo's! What, Rollo that was +'At Work' and 'At Play' and at everything +else when we were kids? Another? +What other? Well, ask him. +Rollo the Norman? I don't see anything +very remarkable in a Norman being buried +in Normandy, do you, Bob? When<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span> +did he die? Well, <i>ask</i> him. What are +we paying him for, anyway? Died about +900, eh! And this church wasn't built +till four hundred years later. Where did +he spend the time while he was waiting +to be buried? Well, ask him. I declare, +if I could talk French, I bet I'd know +something about things. You are the +<i>dumbest</i> lot! Here's Rollo lying around +loose for as long as we've had America +with us, and no one takes any interest in +where. Is that the tomb he finally got +into? Clever idea to have it so dark no +one can see it, after all. I suppose he +thinks we'll be impressed, but I ain't. +I don't believe Rollo's in there, anyhow.</p> + +<p>"Come on; I'm tired of this old +church. I move that we go out and +look at the place where they burned<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> +Joan of Arc, or something else that is +bright and cheerful. What's he saying? +No, I don't want to see any treasury; +I've done enough church-going for +one week-day. Give him his money, +Bob, and let's get out. You tell us +where to go next; you must know everything, +if you were here all day yesterday. +I want to see that double-faced +clock and those carvings of the Field of +the Cloth of Gold. They're all over +in the same direction.</p> + +<p>"Good to be out in the air, eh? I +vow, I never was great on churches. +What boat did you come over on? Did +it roll? Ours rolled and pitched, too. +I never saw such a rolling. I tell you, +Bob, the man will make a fortune who +invents a level liner. I used to try and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span> +figure on how to hang the passenger department +in an open square, so it could +swing free,—do you get the idea?—but +I don't know as it could be managed. +I was trying to work it out one morning, +and I came up against the wash-stand +so sudden that I thought I was cut +in two; the next second I went backward +so quick that the edge of the berth +nearly amputated my legs; and then the +whole craft arose on such a swell that I +swallowed half my tooth-brush. You +may laugh, Bob, but I'm not telling +this to be funny; I'm telling it for a +fact. I had to have the steward in to +put the washing-apparatus to rights, and +I asked him what in thunder was up +outside. He was standing at an angle +of forty-five degrees, looking up at me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span> +where I sat in the lower berth, and he +said, 'If the wind shifts, we're very +likely to have it rough.' Just then he +took on an angle of ninety-five degrees, +and my trunk slid out on his feet so +quick he had to hop. I said: 'Have it +<i>rough</i>, eh? Well, I'm glad to know, so +that I can take advantage of this calm +spell.'</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs06" id="gs06"></a> +<img src="images/gs06.png" width="300" height="496" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"'So that's the clock!'"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>"So that's the clock! Well, it's a +big one, surely—almost as wide as the +street, although candor compels us to +own that the street is about the narrowest +ever. All right, I'm done; a clock +is a clock, and one look in its face always +tells me all I want to know. Come on; +we can't stand dilly-dallying if we're to +get through Rouen to-day, and I must +say I consider a day to a town as quite<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span> +enough in Europe. I know, when I +was young and traveled for wholesale +shoes, I used often and often to do three +towns a day and never turn a hair. I +tell you, Bob, when I was—</p> + +<p>"Is that the fountain? Hold on; we +want to see that! The guide-book has +it in italics. I don't see anything to +underline, though; looks foreign to me. +Come on; we've got to be getting somewhere, +or I shall feel I was a fool to stop +off at Rouen. Not that I'm not glad +to have met you again, Bob; but that +could have happened anywhere else just +as well, you know. When did you come +over? Last year! Great Scott, what are +you staying so long for? I bet I get +enough in six weeks; I feel as if I'd got +pretty close to enough now. Not that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span> +time ever hangs heavy on my hands, you +know. No, not by a long shot. I'm +the kind of man that can always amuse +himself. Give me a fair show,—off a +ship, of course,—and I'll defy any one +to get on better. Take the day we +landed, for instance, there in Havre,—rainy, +not a thing to do, and every one +else off for Paris. You might have +looked for me to be a little disgusted, +naturally; but not a bit of it. The day +went like the wind. We landed at noon, +I slept all the afternoon, and in the +evening I took a bath. I tell you, Bob, +a fellow with brains can get on anywhere. +I never know what it is to feel +bored.</p> + +<p>"What's our Goddess of Liberty doing +up there? What's that Indian beadwork<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span> +around her feet for? Who? You +don't mean to tell me that's Joan of +Arc? Well, all I can say is, I never imagined +her like that. But what are the +beads? French funeral wreaths! Great +Scott! do they keep Charlemagne +wreathed, too, or is five hundred years +the bead-wreath limit? Pretty idea, to +put up a fountain where they burnt +her—keep her memory damp at all +events, eh? What's the moral of her +train turning into a dolphin? Just to +bring the mind gradually down to the +level of the fact that it is a fountain, after +all, I suppose.</p> + +<p>"She wasn't burnt here, anyhow, the +book said. The book said she was +burnt farther over. Smart people here—have +two places where she was burnt,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> +so people must trot through the whole +market if they try to be conscientious. +Look at that woman, with her bouquet +of live chickens—novel effect in chickens, +eh, Bob? Strikes me it was an enterprising +idea to burn Joan in the market, +anyhow—good business for the +market. Folks come to see the statue, +and incidentally buy some peanuts.</p> + +<p>"Well, where can we go now? I say +to set out and have a look at the tower +where she was imprisoned. Pulled +down! It isn't, either; it's starred in +the book. What's that? This tower +named for her, and hers pulled down! +Well, there's French honor for you +again. What do you think of Sibbilly +now, Edna? I don't want to see the +tower if it ain't the real one. I want<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> +to see the bas-reliefs of the Field of the +Cloth of Gold, and then I want to go +back to the hotel to lunch. I tell you, +this sight-seeing is a great appetizer. +The more old ruins and burnings I look +over, the hungrier I get.</p> + +<p>"Is this the place? Makes me think +of a sort of glorified gate to a woodyard. +What is it, now? Well, ask somebody! +A bank, eh? Are those the famous +bas-reliefs? Those! Them! Well, well, +I must say the touring public is easy +game. They're all worn off. What's +the tin overhead for? To keep the rain +from damaging them, eh? Pretty bit of +sarcasm, eh, Bob? Great pity they +didn't think to put it four or five hundred +years sooner. I don't see a man +with a head or a horse with a leg from<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> +here. It lacks character, to my idea. +Let's go home. Come on. I've racked +around Rouen all I care to for one +day."</p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="III" id="III"></a>III</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Rouen.</i></p> + +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: It is +midnight, and I must tell +you the most astonishing +piece of news. We came here with +Uncle last night, and all this morning +we were out with him. When we came +home and unlocked our room we found +<i>Lee</i> sitting by the window. But he +doesn't want Uncle to know. It was +fortunate that Uncle's room is across the +hall, for I screamed. We couldn't see +how he got in, but he says that he has<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> +bent a buttonhook so that he can travel +all over Europe. It seems he never +meant to go to Russia at all; but he +doesn't want Uncle to know. He says +he thinks Russia is a good place for Uncle +to imagine him in. We had such +fun! We told him all about the voyage +and all about Uncle. He says M. Sibilet's +mother <i>is</i> his wife—he married her +for money. He says he's a painter. +Lee is really going yachting, but he +doesn't want Uncle to know. He isn't +going for a while, though; and he +doesn't want Uncle to know that, +either. While we were talking, Uncle +rapped, and Lee had to get into the +wardrobe while Uncle came in and read +us a lecture. When we were in the +cathedral to-day he found a man he used<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> +to know in school, and he was utterly +overjoyed until he saw that the man had +a son; and then, of course, he was worried +over the son. So he came in to-night +to tell us that it he discovered any +skylarking, he should at once give up a +friendship which had always meant +more to him than we young things could +possibly imagine. He said we must +understand that he'd have no sort of +foolishness going on, and at that the +wardrobe creaked so awfully that Edna +had a fit of coughing, and I didn't know +what I should have if he kept on. He +didn't go until it was high lunch-time, +and I was afraid Lee would have to stay +in the wardrobe until he smothered. +When Uncle was gone, Edna asked Lee +how under the sun he kept still, and he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span> +said he nearly died, because so many +hooks hooked into his coat and he had +nothing to perch on except shoe-trees. +I do think Lee is so clever. I wish +Uncle thought so, too. He went to +his room, and we lunched with Uncle, +Mr. Porter, and Mr. Porter, Jr.; and +afterward we visited the church of the +Bon-Secours and the monument to +Jeanne d'Arc. She stands on top, her +hands manacled, with her big, frightened +eyes staring sadly and steadily out +over the town where she met death. +Uncle admired her so much that he +tripped on one of the sheep that are +carved on the steps, and after that he +didn't admire anything or anybody. +We got back about five, and Lee came +in for a visit of an hour. Lee says he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span> +had a fine voyage. It stormed, and he +says he never was battened down with +such a lively lot of people. Uncle came +in twice while he was there, but Lee +has the wardrobe by heart now, and +doesn't take a second. He says the men +he's going yachting with are great sport, +and he expects to have the time of his +life. I do wish Uncle liked Lee, so that +he could go around with us these days; +he would be so much fun.</p> + +<p>We are going to Jumièges to-morrow, +Uncle says. Lee says he must +take the early train for Havre. He's +just been in to say good-by. He brought +a cherry-tart and his shoe-horn, and we +had ours, and so we had no trouble at +all in eating it.</p> + +<p>It has raised my spirits lots, seeing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span> +Lee. It seemed so terrible for him to +go off to Russia like that. Uncle spoke +of it yesterday. He said he was glad +to have one worry off his mind and safe +in Russia. The wardrobe squeaked +merrily.</p> + +<p>Now good-by.</p> + +<p class = "center">Love from </p> +<p class="rthead"><span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p><br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Rouen.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: Lee is gone. +I do wish he could have +stayed longer, but he thought +it was risky. Uncle John was sure +he smelt cigarette smoke in my room, +and although it wasn't true at all, +Edna cried and said the wardrobe +was getting on her nerves, and Lee said +he reckoned he'd take his button-hook +and move on. We had an awful time +bidding him good-by, for Uncle came +in three times, and the second time he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span> +had lost his umbrella and thought it +must be in our wardrobe. I never was +so frightened in all my life; for, you +know, if Uncle had been hunting for +his umbrella and had found Lee, he +wouldn't have liked it at all. Edna +volunteered to look in the wardrobe, +and I know I must have looked queer, +for Uncle asked if I'd taken cold. +You know how much I think of Lee, +but I couldn't help being relieved when +he was gone. It is such a responsibility +to have a man in your wardrobe +so much of the time. He said that I +must try to steer Uncle toward Brittany, +because he'll be yachting all +around there. He says I must mark +places in the Baedeker with strips of +paper. He says that's a fine way to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span> +make any one go anywhere, and that if +Edna and I will talk Italy and mark +Brittany, Uncle is almost sure to wind +up in the Isle of Jersey. Lee says he +wishes he'd been kinder to Uncle in +America, and then he'd like him better +in Europe. He's afraid Uncle will +never forgive him for taking him bobbing +that time and dumping him off in +the snow. It was too bad.</p> + +<p>We went to Jumièges to-day. Uncle +found it in the guide-book, and we took +an eleven-o'clock train. Mr. Porter and +his son were late, and just had time to +get into the rear third-class coach. +Uncle was much distressed until we +came to Yainville, where the train +stopped, and they got out. Uncle +wanted them to get in with us, and he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span> +talked so forcibly on the subject that +the train nearly started again before Mr. +Porter could make him understand that +Yainville is where you get off for Jumièges.</p> + +<p>I do wish it wasn't so hard to turn +Uncle's ideas another way when he's +got them all wrong.</p> + +<p>Yainville has a red-brick depot on +the edge of a pleasant, rolling prairie, +but there is a little green omnibus to +hyphenate it with Jumièges. We were +a very tight fit inside, for of course we +could only sit in Uncle's lap, and he +didn't suggest it, so I had to hold +Edna; and Mr. Porter and his son +knew Uncle well enough not to suggest +taking her. I thought that we +should never get there; and it was so<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> +tantalizing, for the country became +beautiful, and we could only see it in +little triangular bits between shoulders +and hats. Young Mr. Porter wanted +to get out and walk, but Uncle said, +"Young man, when you are as old as +I am, you will know as much as I do," +so he gave up the idea. I do believe +we were cooped up for a solid hour before +we finally rolled down a little bit +of a hill into a little bit of a village, +and climbed stiffly out into the open +air.</p> + +<p>We all had to cry out with wonder +and admiration then, it was really +so wonderful. On one side were the +hills, with the Seine winding off toward +Paris; and on the other side was the +wood, with the ragged ruins of the abbey-church<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> +walls towering up out of the +loftiest foliage. Uncle thought we had +better go and see all there was to be +seen directly, so we walked off down +the little road with a funny feeling of +being partly present and partly past, but +very well content.</p> + +<p>The story goes that one of the ancient +French kings took two young princes +of a rival house, crippled them, put +them on a boat, and set them afloat at +Paris. They drifted down the current +as far as this spot, and here they were +rescued. They founded a monastery +in gratitude, and their tomb was in the +church, which is now in ruins. Later +we saw the stone, with their effigies, in +the little museum by the gate. They +were called "Les Deux Enervés," in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span> +reference to their mutilation. Uncle +thought the word meant "nervous," +and we heard him say to Mr. Porter, +"Well, who wouldn't have been, under +the circumstances?" The whole of +the abbey is now the private property of +a lady who lives in a nice house up over +back beyond somewhere. She built the +lodge, and also a little museum for relics +from the ruins, and has stopped the +wholesale carrying off of stones from +the beautiful remnants of what must +have once been a truly superb monument. +I am sure I shall never in all +my life see anything more grand or +impressive than the building as it is to-day. +It is much the same plan as the +cathedral at Rouen, only that that has +been preserved, and this has been long<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span> +abandoned. It is so curious to think of +the choir which we saw yesterday, with +its chapels and stained glass, and then +to compare it with this roofless and windowless +one, out of the tops of the walls +of which fir-trees—big ones—are growing. +You don't know what a strange +sensation it is to see trees growing out +of the tops of ruined walls the foundations +of which were laid by Charlemagne's +relatives. Edna and I felt very +solemn, and Uncle was quiet ever so +long, and then only said, "I vow!" The +grass is growing in the nave and transept, +and the big carved pediments stick +up through the turf here and there, with +moss and lichen clinging to the shadowy +sides. The rows of pillars are pretty +even, and the set of big arches above are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span> +mostly all there still. There were a +third and a fourth gallery above, and +although they are fallen away in places, +still you can see exactly how it used to +be. When you look away up to the +fourth tier of columns, the main walls +of the nave are still soaring higher yet; +and when you follow the sky-line of +their vastness, you see the two mighty +towers rising, rising, straight up toward +heaven, with the rooks whirling and +circling about them and screaming in +the oddest, most awfully mournful manner. +I'm sure I shall never feel the same +way again, not even if I live to be a +thousand years old myself. I felt overcome; +I felt a way that I never felt +before. I don't know what I felt.</p> + +<p>Uncle was delighted; he sighed with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> +satisfaction. "This is the real thing," +he said to Mr. Porter; "I like this. +You can see that there's been no tampering +with <i>this</i> ruin." Mr. Porter +looked up at the sky above and said: +"I should say that there had been considerable +tampering with this ruin. I +will take my oath that the whole of the +little town yonder was built with the +stone taken from these walls and those +of the monastery buildings."</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs07" id="gs07"></a> +<img src="images/gs07.png" width="450" height="450" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"There's been no tampering with <i>this</i> ruin"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>Uncle is getting very nervous over +Mr. Porter, Jr., because he walks around +with Edna so much; so we were not +allowed out of his sight during the visit, +and didn't explore half as much as we +wanted to. The little museum was +really very interesting, and had the +tombstone of one of Joan of Arc's +judges. I feel very sorry for Joan's poor<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span> +judges. They had to do as they were +bid, and have been execrated for it ever +since.</p> + +<p>We came home late in the afternoon, +and Mr. Porter found a telegram calling +him to Brussels on business, so he and +his son said good-by hurriedly and took +a half-past-six train. Uncle said at dinner +that it was a strange thing to see +how, after forty-five years of seeing the +world, a man could still be the same as +when one had to do all his sums for him +at school. We absorbed this luminous +proposition in silence, and then Uncle +looked severely at Edna and said that at +the rate that things were progressing he +wouldn't have been surprised to have +had a John Gilpin in the family any +day. We were struck dumb at this +threat or prophecy or whatever was intended,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> +and went meekly to bed. Edna +had a letter from Lee and I had one +from Harry. Lee didn't dare write me +and Harry didn't dare write Edna because +of Uncle. But they each sent the +other their love.</p> + +<p>Uncle wants to go to Gisors to-morrow.</p> + +<p>P. S. I must add a line to tell you +that Mrs. Braytree and the four girls +have arrived. They saw Uncle on the +stairs coming up, and all came straight +to our room. They landed yesterday, +and had a real good passage, only Eunice +fell out of the berth and sprained her +wrist. She has it in a sling. They had +a hard time arranging about the dog, as +the hotel didn't want him in the rooms. +He is one of those dogs that look<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> +scratchy and whiny at the first glance. +Mrs. Braytree has lost her keys, so she +sat with us while the hotel people got +a man to open her trunks. She says +she's in no hurry to unpack, for she had +so many bottles she's almost positive +one cork at least must have come out. +They entirely forgot to bring any hairpins +and suffered dreadfully on shipboard +on that account. They had trouble with +one of their port-holes too, and Mrs. +Braytree and Uncle are both going to +carry crowbars at sea hereafter.</p> + +<p>They are going to stay here a week. +It's so nice to meet some one from +home!</p> + + +<p class="rtxhead"> Always yours lovingly,</p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="V" id="V"></a>V</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span> + +<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN EN ROUTE</p> +<br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Rouen.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="dropcap">"C</span><span class="smcap">ome on</span>, girls, this is quite an +expedition. I vow I shook a +little when Mrs. Braytree suggested +coming, too. Seven women to +one man would be too many for comfort +as a general thing; but your Uncle John +never shows the white feather, so I only +drew the line at the dog. Why the +devil five women want to travel with +one dog and eight trunks I can't see; +but if I was Mrs. Braytree, I'd probably +know more about it. Curious little +creature, the cross-eyed one, isn't she?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span> +And that Pauline—always wanting to +be somewhere else. I told her pretty +flatly at dinner that if she couldn't get +any more fun out of Rouen than by +wishing it was St. Augustine, she'd better +have stayed in New York. Anything +but these fault-finders.</p> + +<p>"Well, ain't you ready? I've sent the +luggage along, and it seems to me that +we ought to be following its good example. +Lord knows, two days is enough +to waste in an old hole like Rouen; I +was wondering last night what we ever +came for. I never was so cold anywhere +in my life, and sleeping on a slope with a +pillow on your feet isn't my idea of comfort +at night, anyhow. I don't understand +the moral of the scheme, and the +pillow keeps sliding, and I keep swearing,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> +all night long. Also, I can't learn +to appreciate the joy of standing on a +piece of oil-cloth to wash. I must say +that one needs to wear an overcoat and +ear-muffs to wash here, anyhow. I was +dancing under the bell-rope and ringing +for hot water a good half-hour this +morning. I'm going to write and have +the asterisk subtracted from this hotel.</p> + +<p>"Well, come on, if you're ready. +Whose umbrella is that getting left by +the door? Mine? I vow, I didn't remember +putting it down. But no one +can think of everything. Edna, is this +soap yours? No? Well, I just asked. I +seem to have left mine somewhere, and +it's live and learn. Come on! come on!</p> + +<p>"Good morning, +Mrs. Braytree—Eunice—Emma—Pauline—Augusta.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span> +I reckon we'd better be hustling along +pretty promptly. The train doesn't go +until five minutes after the time, if we +don't hurry. It's truly a pleasure having +you join us, Mrs. Braytree. A little +excursion like this makes such a pleasant +break in the routine of sight-seeing, I +think, and these quaint old—there, all +get out now, I have the money. I'll +take the tickets; we're all full-fare, +aren't we? Or—how old is the little +cross-eyed one? I <i>beg</i> your pardon, Mrs. +Braytree, but I had to know in a hurry.</p> + +<p>"There, come on! come on! Squeeze +through. Se—ven women and one man. +Hurry! we want a compartment, here—no, +there. Run, Edna, and get ahead +of that old lady; here's two umbrellas +to throw crossways, and then you can<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span> +tell her there's no room, and the law +will uphold you. You look surprised, +Mrs. Braytree, but I learned that little +trick coming from Havre. I tell you, +by the time I get to Paris I'll be on to +every kind of game going. I learn fast—take +to Europe as a duck takes to +water, so to speak.</p> + +<p>"Well, we're off for Gisors. Great +pleasure to have you with us, Mrs. Braytree; +no more work to steer seven—Good +Lord! there aren't but six here! +Who isn't here? Edna's gone! What +is it, Yvonne? I sent her ahead, did I? +Oh, so I did, so I did. And of course +she is waiting for us. Poor child! I +hope she's not worried. As soon as we +get out of the tunnel I'll hang out of +the window and holler to her. Very<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span> +convenient method of talking to your +friends aboard, Mrs. Braytree; only I +should think a good many would lose +their heads as a consequence. However, +as the majority of the heads would be +foreigners', I don't suppose it would +matter much in the long run.</p> + +<p>"Speaking of Gisors, Mrs. Braytree, +it's really a very interesting place—according +to the guide-book. As far as I'm +personally concerned, I'd be willing +to take the time to go there to learn +how to pronounce it. The workings of +the mind which laid out the way to speak +French don't at all jibe with the workings +of the mind which laid out the way +to spell it—not according to my way of +thinking. There's that place which +we've just left, for instance,—'Ruin'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span> +as plain as the nose on your—on anybody's +face,—and its own inhabitants +can't see it—pronounce the R in a way +that I should think would make their +tongues feel furry, and then end up as if, +on second thought, they wouldn't end +at all.</p> + +<p>"Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out and +see if you see any of Edna hanging out. +I declare, this is a very trying situation +to be in. You don't know what a trip +I had, Mrs. Braytree, trying to keep track +of these girls; and since we landed—well, +I just had to call a halt in Havre +and come off alone. Curious place, +Havre, don't you think? See any one +you knew there? We—who did +you say? Why, that can't be, he's in +Russia. Yvonne, didn't that young<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span> +reprobate write you he was going to +Russia? Yes, I thought so. Well, +Mrs. Braytree says she saw him in Havre. +Good joke his not knowing we were in +Rouen; he'd have been down there in +a jiffy, I'll bet anything. But your +Uncle John is a rather tough customer +to handle, and I expect that young man +knows the fact, and so thought it best to +give Rouen a wide berth. Not that I +have anything in particular against young +Reynolds, only I don't consider that any +girl could be happy with him. And +it's foolish to have a man around unless +you can make him happy—I mean unless +he can make you happy. My wife was +very happy up to the time she developed +melancholia—a sad disease, Mrs. Braytree. +Yvonne, I wish you'd hang out<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span> +and see if you can see anything of +Edna.</p> + +<p>"I presume this is as good a time as +we'll have to study up a little on Gisors. +It seems to have been the capital of the +Vexin. I shouldn't be surprised if +'vex' and 'vexing' both come from that +country, for the guide-book gives it as +always in hot water. The French and +English were both up against it most of +the time, and it was vexin' with a +vengeance. It says here that the old city +walls are still standing and that Henry +II built the castle. Isn't he the one we +peeked around in Rouen? Yes, I thought +so. It says that there's very little +left of the castle, though. I must say +I'm always glad when I read that there's +not much left of anything; it gives me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span> +a quiet, rested sort of feeling."</p><br> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs08" id="gs08"></a> +<img src="images/gs08.png" width="300" height="373" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"'This is as good a time as we'll have to +study up on Gisors'"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span></p> +</div> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Gisors.</i></p> + +<p>"Well, here we get out. I'll swing +down first. If French trains were +American, they'd have trapezes or elevators +to—get—out—by. Here, give +me your hand, Yvonne—oh, there's +Edna. Well, I vow, who has she got—if +it isn't—Yvonne, isn't that that +young man—how d'ye do, Edgar? +Delighted to see you again. Our friend, +Mrs. Braytree, and all the others are her +daughters. Come, Edna; you come +with me while I check this trunk. +Where in thunder did you get that fellow +from? How does he come to be in +Rouen? Did you know he was in Rouen? +Did you see him while he was there? +I declare, I never will travel with any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span> +women again unless I am married to +them. This is awful. Don't you know +I'm responsible for you two girls? And +I send you ahead to get a compartment, +and you find Edgar—it makes +me want to swear. Say, was there +any one else with you? Worse and +worse. I was afraid there was something +wrong when we kept hanging +out and you never hung out at all. +Well, we'll have to go back and gather +them all up. Yes, I'll be polite to him; +but, Edna, I hope you understand distinctly +that a man like that could never +make any woman—</p> + +<p>"Yes, Mrs. Braytree, here we are +again; and now we'll all proceed over +Gisors. Pretty place, don't you think? +Picturesque. Did you ever see so many<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span> +canals—or smell so many?—and the little +cottages out of another century? Packed +roofs—green trees—well-sweeps—I like +this; I'm glad I had the sense to come +here. Edgar, will you oblige me by +carrying that cane so that child doesn't +come within an ace of catching her +mouth on it every other second? I declare, +Mrs. Braytree, I wish we hadn't +run on to that young man. Of course +he's a nice fellow and all that, but young +men are a great trial when you have +two—</p> + +<p>"Let's turn down here. Most of the +streets seem to be canal tow-paths. I +vow, this <i>is</i> pretty. I could settle down +in a place like this and live till I died. +What do you suppose the people here +do to amuse themselves, anyhow? From<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span> +the way they look at us with their +mouths open I should imagine that we +were regarded in the light of a great +event. And if that's the case, they must +be pretty hard up for sport. Oh, well, +I presume it's enough for them to paddle +about on the green waters and stir up +the miasma—as much sense as foreigners +have.</p> + +<p>"And so these are the walls—ramparts, +I mean. Well, they're fairly +high. Wonder how high they are, +anyhow? Edgar, will you do me the +courtesy not to be pointing to the left +with that cane of yours when I turn +suddenly to the right again? I beg your +pardon for seeming heated, Mrs. Braytree; +but he really—</p> + +<p>"Let's find a gate and go in; seems<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span> +to be a park inside. I should think there +<i>was</i> 'little left to be seen of the castle!' +I don't see anything at all of it. Maybe +they took it down and built the walls +higher just to fool tourists. Well, I +didn't come to Gisors to caper about in +a park; let's go out and look at the +church—the guide-book says the church +is worth seeing. I think there's something +very touching about guide-book +enthusiasm: it keeps up so consistently +right through to the end. I feel as if +my own enthusiasm was most run +through now. I don't know how Paris +will affect me. Edgar, if I trip on that +cane you'll have to pay my doctor's bill. +What makes you handle it as you do, +anyway? I like to see a cane light and +alert—not one that drags through the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> +world in the style of yours. To judge +from your cane, I should say you hadn't +been in bed before three for a month. +I have to speak sharply to that fellow, +Mrs. Braytree; he is about as wooden-headed +as they make. Came across the +ocean with us, and pestered the life out +of me. You don't know what an ocean +voyage is with two attractive girls—I +<i>beg</i> your pardon; I forgot your four. +Dear me! we were speaking of—yes—of +Gisors, of course. I vow, I'm disappointed +in it as a whole. I wish we'd +gone to Les Andelys instead. Les +Andelys is marked with an asterisk in the +guide-book, and there's a castle there +built by Cœur-de-Lion. By the way, +Mrs. Braytree, the Cœur-de-Lion <i>itself</i> +is buried in Rouen. Did you know that?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span> +Nice joke, eh? But, dear, dear, if there's +no castle here when we get here, perhaps +there'd be none there when we got +there. I'm beginning to look upon +Europe as a confidence-game; I—</p> + +<p>"Well is <i>that</i> the castle! Great Scott! +but it must have been big. It's big yet, +and the book said there was very little +left to see. I'm beginning to lose faith +in that book. Picturesque idea, having +the park hide the ruins till you come right +smash on to them. Clever people, the +French; make everything put the best +foot foremost. Fine old round tower; +nice tumble-down guard-chamber! I +like this. Let's go around the other +side. Great place, eh? Worth a trip to +see. Edgar, let me have your cane to +point with. There, do you see that old<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span> +staircase? Looks Roman to me; what +do you think? I tell you, a man could +write an historical novel out of old ruins +if he prowled long enough. Come on +now; let's meander on down town and +look at the church. As soon as I look +at anything, I'm always ready to look +at something else. Let's go out on this +side and go back to town the other way. +Then we'll look at the church, and then +we'll put you and Edgar on the train +for Rouen, Mrs. Braytree. What did +you say, Yvonne? He isn't going to +Rouen? Where is he going? To Paris +with us! Well, well, well! all I can say +is, I do admire his nerve. I never in all +my life went where I wasn't asked, and +took a cane. Now don't you see why +no woman could be happy with a man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span> +like that? I never saw the beat. I tell +you frankly, Yvonne, I don't like his +ways and I don't like him. If you girls +had let him alone on the boat, he'd have +let us alone here. I declare, my day is +just about spoiled. Your mother has +trusted you girls to me, and I haven't +drawn a quiet breath since. I did take +a little comfort there in Rouen; but if +I'd known that Lee was in Havre, +I'd have been on thorns even there.</p> + +<p>"Well, where is the church? Ask +some one. What did she say? Down +here? Down we go, then. Ah, I suppose +that's it under the sidewalk. Nice +commanding situation for a church, to +grade a street by its tower! Why don't +they put in the guide-book, 'Street +commands a fine view of the roof?'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span> +There isn't time to go inside unless +Mrs. Braytree wants to miss her train, +and we don't want her to do that.</p> + +<p>"This is the street to the <i>gare</i>, and +we'll run right along. I expect we can +get something to eat there, and get that +1:30 train for Beauvais. There isn't +anything in Beauvais that would interest +you, Mrs. Braytree; but there's a church +there that I want to see. The guide-book +says that Mr. Ruskin says that the +roof has got a clear vertical fall that not +many rocks in the Alps can equal; I +don't just know what a clear vertical +fall may be, but if there's a church anywhere +near as high as an Alp, I don't +want to miss seeing it.</p> + +<p>"There's the clock. You just have +time to get aboard comfortably. Don't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span> +you want to go with them, Edgar? +Well, I thought maybe you might. +Good-by, good-by; delighted to have +met you. Good-by. Oh, yes, of course. +In Paris.</p> + +<p>"There, they're gone, darn 'em! +Now let's get some lunch. Did you +ever see such a collection as those girls? +It must have been a bitter pill when, +after managing to assimilate the looks +of the three oldest, the little one appeared +with her eyes laid out bias. Come +in here; we can get something to eat +here, I don't care what; but I want +plenty. Don't lose your cane, Edgar; +life wouldn't be life to you without it, +I expect. I like these country hotel +entrances, through a carriage-house and +a duck-yard, fall over a cat, and come in.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span> +Tell her we want dinner for four, and +prompt. You put that in good forcible +French for me, Edgar, and I'll be grateful +to you till I die. Let's sit down. +Let's eat."</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs09" id="gs09"></a> +<img src="images/gs09.png" width="450" height="359" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"'Tell her we want dinner for four, and prompt'"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span></p> +</div> +<br> + + +<p class= "rthead"><i>Beauvais.</i></p> + +<p>"Now, young people, I call this making +a day count. This is my idea of getting +about. Breakfast in Rouen, <a name="lunch" id="lunch"></a><a href="#luuch">lunch</a> in +Gisors, Beauvais for a sandwich, and +we'll dine in Paris.</p> + +<p>"What time is it? Three o'clock. +Well, we want to head straight for that +cathedral. Seems as if it ought to show +most anywhere over a little, low town like +this, but I don't see it. Ask someone—ask +any one. Well, what did they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span> +say? Right across the square. Whose +statue is that in the middle? Joan of +Arc? Jeanne Hachette? Who was +Jeanne Hachette? Girl who captured +flag from Charles the Bold, eh? Is that +why they called him 'the Bold'? Sort +of sarcastic on his letting a girl carry off +his flag, I should consider. Well, when +did she live? Has she got her year under +her? 1492. Seventy years after Joan. +I shouldn't have thought she'd have inspired +other young women in this part +of the country to emulate her.</p> + +<p>"Do we go up here? Ugh, how I +hate walking over cobble-stones! Clean; +of course they're clean. I didn't say +that I thought they were dirty. I said +I hated to walk on 'em.</p> +<p>"What's that chopped-off creation +before us? <i>Not</i> the cathedral? Well—I—vow!</p> + +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs10" id="gs10"></a> +<img src="images/gs10.png" width="300" height="484" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">Beauvais</span> +</div> + + +<p>"Is <i>that</i> what I—what we—</p> + +<p>"Where's the front of it? What <i>did</i> +happen to it? And what <i>was</i> Mr. Ruskin<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span> +thinking of when he compared it to +an Alp! I don't want to fall off of anywhere, +but I'd choose the roof of that +cathedral to start from any day in preference +to the lowest Alp they make. +'Clear vertical fall' eh? I wish I knew +what that meant.</p> + +<p>"Well, let's go in. Where's the +door? That little, unpretentious one +looks feasible. Come on. Well, Edgar, +are you coming, too, or do you choose +to stay outside with your stick? I can't +help it, Edna; I feel irritated at his being +here at all, and then I'm naturally +disappointed over this church. I must +say the biggest thing about it is that +blank wall stopping up where they left +off. This is the kind of thing I've +come several thousand miles to look at,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span> +is it? Well, may as well go in, I +suppose.</p> + +<p>"So this is in the inside! Fine lot of +carpets hung up to try and cover the deficiencies, +eh?—High roof,—funny sort +of shock you get whenever you look towards +the front. Sort of like turning +around and hitting your cane, eh, +Edgar? Girls, this cathedral was begun +in 1180, time of Henry II, and they +quit in 1555 while Bloody Mary was +abroad and never got to the front end +in the four hundred years. Well, well! +dear, dear!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs11" id="gs11"></a> +<img src="images/gs11.png" width="450" height="445" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"'What's that chopped-off creation before us?'"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>"Come on, girls, we may as well go +out; I feel like going to the station and +heading for Paris. I suppose that's the +next move in the game. You can stay +here as long as you like, Edgar; we<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span> +won't hurry you.</p> + +<p>"Come, Yvonne, you walk with me. +Did you ever see anything like that +young man's gall? Your friend Lee +couldn't make any points around him. +Just hooks right on to us, and stays +hooked. I declare, if I carried a cane +I bet I'd give him one punch he'd remember +long after. I'd sincerely beg +his pardon. I didn't like him on the +steamer; I've got no use for young men +of his stamp. I—"</p><br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Gare du Nord, Paris.</i></p> + +<p>"So this is Paris! Now, Edgar, I +have one favor to ask of you—will you +kindly allow me to manage my own +affairs while you manage yours? I +know just what to do, and I'll take<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span> +Yvonne with me to do it. You can +take Edna up to the hotel. Looked +disappointed, didn't he? Counting on +endearing himself to me forever by his +able-bodied assistance, I'll wager; but +I don't want any young man minding +my business. Tell that blue blouse to +take these checks and look up five +trunks in a hurry. What did he say? +We haven't got to overhaul them again +here, have we? Well, I am—I certainly +just <i>am</i>. Have we got to hunt +'em up? Where? Well, ask him? +Round back of this crazy mob? Well, +tell him to go first. What's this +system of wildly speculating wheat-pits? +Baggage-counters, eh? And will you +look at the baggage! Talk about your +'clear vertical falls!' Those trunks on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> + +top will soon know more than Ruskin +ever did.</p> + +<p>"Where's our man gone? Yvonne, +do you know where that fellow went +to? Well, ask some one. Look out—that +baggage truck will be Juggernauting +right over you before you know +it. Now, where <i>is</i> the porter? I call +this a pretty state of affairs—porter, +valises, and trunk-checks all gone together. +I thought you were watching +him or I would have done so. Do you suppose +we ought to speak to a policeman? +I think we ought to. But will you look +at the trunk-unlocking that's going +on—good as a play—look how mad +that old lady is; hear her give it to him +in good English. Guess something got +broke in transit. Keep a sharp eye out<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span> +for that porter, Yvonne. Here come +some more trunks, and more, and +more yet. I wonder if this is regular, +or if we've struck a rush. Where <i>is</i> +that porter? I think we ought to be +speaking to a policeman, don't you? +Here's a choice new invoice of a couple +of thousand more trunks; that fellow +will never be able to find ours, I know. +Supposing he has found them and gone +off with them already. Hey, look +at that lady jumping up and down! +She sees <i>her</i> trunk, I'll bet a dollar. +Well, I'd jump up and down if I could +see mine. Yvonne, I really think we +ought to speak to a policeman. Could +you give a description of the man? I +only remember that he wore a blue +blouse. Oh, yes; and he had 'Commissionaire'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span> +across the front of his cap. +Hello, here are nine trucks all at once, +just a few million more additions to +the turmoil. I tell you, we won't get +out of here to-night, I don't believe. +I vow, I wish I'd given the checks to +Edgar, as he suggested. I really think +we ought to be calling a policeman. +Here are fourteen trucks all loaded to +the gunwales, and two mass-meetings +and one convention of tourists all at +once. Yvonne, this is beginning to +look serious to me; I think that really +we ought to call—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs12" id="gs12"></a> +<img src="images/gs12.png" width="450" height="254" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"'Look how mad that old lady is'"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>"Oh, there he is with the whole of +the stuff on one truck. Good idea; +smart chap; and he wasn't so very long +either, considering."</p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> + + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p> +<br> + + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Paris.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: Well +we <i>are</i> arrived! It <i>is</i> Paris +at last! But I thought we +should surely die in transit. I don't +know what Uncle would have said if +he had known that Lee was in Rouen; +he was dreadfully upset over Mrs. +Braytree's telling him that she saw +Lee in Havre. He was very unreasonable, +and laid it up against Lee that +Mrs. Braytree saw him. Just as if Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span> +could help it.</p> + +<p>We had a pretty good time coming +down, only Mr. Edgar came up and +came down with us, and of course +Uncle did not like that. I think that +Mr. Edgar came up to come down with +me because we had a lovely time on +the steamer coming over together, but +Uncle hardly gave me a chance to speak +to him. Uncle seems just instinctively +to know whom Edna and I want to talk +to, and then won't let us. But of +course I'm not complaining, for it was +lovely of him to give us this trip, and +we're enjoying every minute.</p> + +<p>We arrived last night, and the only +drawback is that Mrs. Clary isn't here. +She left a note, and M. Sibilet's wife <i>is</i> +his mother, and has a place out at Neuilly,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span> +and they were invited there for +three days. She will be back to-morrow, +and she left word for us to go +straight to the Bon Marché and look at +the white suits; so we did so. We told +Uncle it was all right for us to go alone, +and he had just gotten his mail, so he +only said "Hum!" and we went. Just +as we were taking the cab, who should +we see but Mr. Chopstone. It was so +lovely to see him again, and he got into +the cab and went with us. We went +to the Bon Marché, but it wasn't much +fun with a man, so we came out after a +little, and he proposed taking the Subway +and going to the Trocadero. Just +then we met a man that Mr. Chopstone +knew, and he had red hair and eye-glasses. +Mr. Chopstone introduced him,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span> +and invited him to go along; but he +said it was no use, because it was the +wrong day and we couldn't get in +when we got there. By this time we +were down in the Subway, and Mr. +Chopstone suggested that we go to the +Bois, so as not to have to go back up +the stairs again. While we were talking, +the train came and went in a terrible +hurry, and we got aboard in between. +After we were off, we found that Mr. +Chopstone wasn't on. We didn't +know what to do, because, of course, it +was he that we knew, and not the red-haired +man. The red-haired man said +he would do whatever we pleased, and +Edna thought we had better get right +off; but I thought we ought to go right +on. We didn't know <i>what</i> to do, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span> +so we kept on to the Bois.</p> + +<p>The Bois was just lovely—all automobiles +and babies; and who do you +think we met? Betty Burleigh. We +were so surprised, for I thought she was +in California for her lungs; but it seems +that she's been in Dresden for her music +all winter, and now she's here for her +clothes. She was with an elderly French +lady, and I don't think that the elderly +French lady liked to have her stop and +talk to us. I thought at first that perhaps +it wasn't proper on account of the +red-haired man, but in a second I saw +the real reason. Betty glanced around +and said, "Oh, Madame, où est Fakir?" +Whereupon the elderly French lady +looked absolutely terrified and tore +madly off. We had quite a long talk<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span> +before she came back with the most +awful little black dog, which they evidently +had <i>no</i> string to. She put him +down and began to look displeased +again, and Betty just glanced about and +said calmly, "Oh, Madame, où es +Fakir?" He had absolutely vanished +again, and the elderly French lady sort +of threw up her eyes and rushed wildly +away. The red-haired man said, "Why +don't you buy a chain for him?" Betty +shrugged the Frenchiest kind of a shrug +and said, "I don't have to chase him." +The red-haired man said, "I should +think she would buy the chain then!" +and Betty shrugged a much Frenchier +shrug, and said: "I wouldn't allow it. +While she is running after him I can +do as I please." The red-haired man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span> +laughed. Poor madame came panting +up with the creature just then, and +Betty said sweetly, "Laissez-lui courir," +so she had to put him down; but I +could see that she meant to keep a +sharp eye on him. Betty wanted us all +to come to the Palais and lunch with +her; but of course we refused, because +you wouldn't have liked it, and, anyway, +we had to go back to Uncle. She +wanted the red-haired man to stay, anyhow, +and was quite put out when he +declined. Just then two men in an automobile +came up and asked her to go +and see the balloon ascension. They +didn't invite the elderly French lady, +and she protested about "comme il +faut"—but Betty said, "Où est Fakir?" +and, if you'll believe me, that little<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span> +beast was gone again, and poor madame +dashed off in pursuit. Betty made short +work of bidding us good-by then, and +at once got into the automobile, and +was off.</p> + +<p>We came slowly along back with the +red-haired man, and at the Arc de +Triomphe we ran into Mr. Chopstone. +It seems he went a station too far because +he met some people he knew in +the car behind us, and he says we must +all go to the Châtelet with him to-night +to make up. He said "Uncle, too," +so we accepted. Then we took a cab +and came back to the hotel, where we +found our beloved relative with his feet +on the center-table, reading the Paris +"Herald." He looked over the top at +us and announced that he'd "done the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span> +Louvre." I think we must have looked +startled, for he went on to say at once that +he knew that it was something that had +got to be done, and that he shouldn't +enjoy, and so he had thought it best to go +at it the first thing on the first morning +and get it off his mind at once. He was +very pleased with himself, because he +says the "Baedeker" says that it takes<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span> +two hours and a half to walk through, +and he was only gone from the hotel +two hours in all. Edna asked him if he +spent much time looking at the pictures, +and he said: "Young lady, if you'd ever +been in the place, you'd never ask that +question. Why, the whole thing is +lined with pictures. I bet I dream of +gilt frames for a week."</p> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs13" id="gs13"></a> +<img src="images/gs13.png" width="300" height="228" alt="We found our beloved relative" title=""> +<span class="caption">We found our beloved relative</span> +</div> + +<p>We had to go to lunch, and Uncle +doesn't like the food very much; he +says it strikes him as "flummery," and +he is really very much vexed over Mrs. +Clary's being at Neuilly. Edna is vexed +because Harry is there, too, and I'm +very much vexed indeed because she +thoughtlessly gave Uncle the letter at +lunch, and when he read about Monsieur +Sibilet's wife being his mother he was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span> +more put out than ever. He said we +could look out for ourselves this afternoon, +as he had to go to the bank. Edna +suggested that we go to the Louvre, and +he said yes, that would be wise, because +then we would all be free to enjoy ourselves. +Uncle speaks of the Louvre +exactly as if it were the semiannual +siege at the dentist's. But he was kind +enough to offer to leave us there on his +way to the bank, and when we took +the cab, he arranged with the cabman +and the hotel-porter exactly what the +fare was to be, and held it in his hand +the whole way.</p> + +<p>Edna and I were mighty glad to get +to the Louvre without Uncle, especially +with the way he feels to-day, and we +were wandering along in a speechless<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span> + +sort of ecstacy when all of a sudden I +heard some one calling my name. I +whirled around, and if it wasn't Mrs. +Merrilegs, in a state of collapse on one +of the red-velvet benches. We went +to her, and she took hold of our hands +as if she'd been our long-lost mother +for years. She looked very white and +tired and almost ready to faint, and we +sat down on each side of her in real +sincere sympathy, and she held our +hands and told us how it was. It +seems that they left home the last of +last month, and they've been all through +the British Isles, Denmark, Holland, +and Belgium, and they are going to +finish Europe and be home the first of +next month. She could hardly speak +for tears. She says Mr. Merrilegs made<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span> +out the itinerary before they sailed and +that they have lived up to it every day +except just one, when he ate some +lobster crossing the Irish Sea, and they +lost a day that night. She says they +drive a great deal, because they can +hardly walk any more, and that she +doesn't believe that there will be a +museum or palace in Europe that they +won't be able to say that they have +driven by when they go home. She +said they had come to the Louvre to +see what pictures they wanted for their +new house, and that they never meant +to take more than twenty minutes for +the selection, and that they had been +there an hour already. She felt badly +because the itinerary had them visit +Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower as high<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span> +as the elevator goes, and Versailles this +afternoon. She said they wanted to +try and call on the American consul, +too, to ask about a masseur. She said +Mr. Merrilegs said he thought if they +could get hold of a good masseur and +keep him right with them that they +could manage to rub through to the +end.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs14" id="gs14"></a> +<img src="images/gs14.png" width="450" height="371" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"She took our hands as if she'd been our long lost mother for years"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>Edna and I felt dreadfully sorry for +her; but there did not seem to be anything +to do except look sad, and we did +that as heartily as we knew how until +in a minute or two Mr. Merrilegs hove +in sight with a funny little Frenchman +dancing round and round him. Mr. +Merrilegs looked almost as exhausted as +his wife, and called Edna by my name +and me by hers. His wife asked him<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span> +if he had ordered the pictures, and he +said: "No; I haven't any more time +to waste here. I've given Claretie the +paper with the sizes of the spaces +marked on it, and he's to go through +and measure till he finds a famous picture +to match each space." Mrs. Merrilegs +sort of nodded faintly and said: +"But we don't want any martyrs in the +dining-room, you know," and her husband +said, "Yes, yes, he understands; +and he says he'll find a Susanna to fit +your bath, too." Mrs. Merrilegs stood +up then with a very audible groan, and +they both shook hands with us in a way +that quite wrung our hearts. Then they +limped away with the little Frenchman +spinning gaily about them, and we went<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span> +on alone.</p> + +<p>In the very next room we met Mr. +Chopstone. He was awfully glad to see +us, and said, with our permission, he'd +join us; but as he seemed joined anyway, +we didn't even dream of refusing. +He asked if we'd told Uncle about +the Châtelet, and then we remembered +that we had forgotten. He said he was +so glad, because he couldn't get any +seats except <i>baignoirs</i>, and they looked +queer, because no one can see you. He +asked if we would like to go to the opera +instead, and we were just discussing it +when we turned a corner and ran right +on to Betty Burleigh and the red-haired +man. His name is Potter, and, did you +ever! They looked so upset that it can't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span> +have been an accident, their being together. +But how could they have arranged +it? If they didn't arrange it, +why did they look upset? Betty had +on a bright green cloth dress and a +violet hat, and the red-haired man +heightened the general effect so much +that we moved on as quickly as possible. +Mr. Chopstone said very roundly: +"You'd better fight shy of her, I +think," and Edna said dryly: "Of him, +too, don't you think?" I waited a +minute, and then I said it seemed droll +to think that if we were all English +we'd be pleased to call poor Betty a +typical American.</p> + +<p>We came home when the Louvre +closed and found Uncle back with his +feet on the center-table. He had had a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span> +big fire built, for he said it gave him chills +to look at the nymph over his bed. He +had put in a true Merrilegian afternoon, +having been to the Palais de Justice, +Sainte-Chapelle, Notre Dame, and driven +by the Hôtel de Ville and around the +Opera House—"completely around." +He says there won't be a thing left for +him to look at by Monday. He says +if he was pressed for time he'd hire a +cab for one whole day and lump the +business; but that, seeing that we have +the time, it really doesn't seem necessary.</p> + +<p>The mail came while we were talking, +and the most unfortunate thing +happened. To keep up the Russian idea, +Lee wrote two postals and sent them to +St. Petersburg to be mailed. Uncle saw<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span> +the Russian stamps and knew Lee's +writing, and he asked me to kindly tell +him how Mrs. Braytree came to see a +man who was in Russia in Havre. Edna +said weakly that it must have been a +joke, and Uncle shook his watch and +held it to his ear that way he always +does when he's dangerous, and said he +was in no mood for any of Lee's jokes. +He looked very severely at me and said +that Lee was a scalawag, and that I +ought to be ashamed of myself for having +him around.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Clary will be back to-morrow, +and we're very glad, for Uncle is +awful peppery and tartary, and says +"Hum!" when we least expect it. +Edna sent Mr. Chopstone a <i>petit-bleu</i>, +asking him please not to ask us to go<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span> +anywhere to-night. Mr. Edgar sent +me some violets, but I had time to give +them to the chambermaid before Uncle +came in. If I only get a chance, I shall ask +Mrs. Clary to declare that M. Sibilet's +mother <i>is</i> his wife, even if she knows +it's a lie. It doesn't seem possible that +Uncle could really care for Mrs. Clary; +but he's so cross if she talks to any one +else that I almost wonder if he doesn't. +Edna is all tired out, and says she will +cry if Uncle tells her again that any +man isn't the man to make any girl +happy. She says she likes men, and she +thinks that they all make her happy. +She wanted to go to the Châtelet in a +<i>baignoir</i>, and she was wild to go to the +opera in anything.</p> + +<p>We talk Italy and mark Brittany every<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span> +chance we get, but Uncle says "Hum!" +to Italy the same as he does to everything +else these days. I'm sure I don't +see what we'll do if he takes the rest of +Europe as hard as he does this much. +But of course I don't mean that we're +not having a lovely time, and we never +forget for a minute how kind he was to +bring us.</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Next day.</i></p> + + +<p>Oh, it has been awful! How can I +write it all!</p> + +<p>You see, Uncle has a little balcony, +and the sun came out, so he did, too, +this morning, on his little balcony. +And he saw Mrs. Clary being brought +back in an automobile by M. Sibilet and +two French officers. Of course Harry +was there, too, but that didn't mend<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span> +matters any. In looking over, Uncle's +glasses fell to the ground, and they were +his comfortable ones with the rubber +round the nose, and that part broke, too. +Edna was taking a bath, and I had to +stand the brunt of the whole. Uncle +told me not to dare to fancy for a minute +that he cared who Mrs. Clary went +about with; but he did wish for the +credit of America that she would steer +clear of men like Sibilet. He was much +put out over the French officers, too, and +said that if he was a French officer he'd +go and walk around Alsace until he came +to his senses. While he was talking he +knocked the water-pitcher over, and then +Edna was ready to dress; so he went +away while I sopped up the floor.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Clary came in right afterward.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> +She has had a splendid time, and she says +she doesn't care what relation the old +lady is so long as she can have them for +friends. She has had no end of fun since +she came from Havre, and she says it's +a shame about Uncle. She went to a +beautiful lawn-fête at a countess's, and +she says I mustn't worry over Lee and +Uncle. She rode horseback, too, and +drove with a coach, and she says Edna +must remember that Uncle is always peculiar +and doesn't mean half he says. +She went to two dinner-parties, and no +one would believe that she was Harry's +mother. She says I ought not to be exasperated +over anything, because nothing +in the world can be so exasperating as +having a son with a moustache when +you don't look thirty-five, and that she<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> +doesn't let <i>that</i> worry <i>her</i>. M. Sibilet +is going to give a dinner for her at the +Ritz, and she's going to get a lace dress +all in one piece, and she says it was she +who told Mr. Edgar that we were coming +from Rouen, and that Betty Burleigh +is considered very fast, and that it +won't take long for her to settle Uncle. +I'm sure I hope so with all my heart; +but I don't believe he'll like the idea +of the dinner-party much. Mrs. Clary +says Mme. Sibilet's château is a perfect +castle, and that one of the French officers +in the automobile was a duke. She +says we must be patient, and Uncle will +get used to the Continent, just as all +American men do. She says they never +take to it like women, though. The +other French officer was in the ministry<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span> +once, and counts more than any duke. +Mrs. Clary is always so sweet and comforting, +and she is such a nice chaperon, +because she always has men enough herself +never to be spiteful.</p> + +<p>Mr. Chopstone sent Edna back a +<i>petit-bleu</i> that he had the box at the opera, +and what should he do about it. Mrs. +Clary says for us to go. She says she'll +take care of Uncle, for she wants to +straighten out her accounts, and she can +just as well straighten him out at the +same time. She gave me a long letter +from Lee that he left with her, and she +told Edna to go and have a nice walk +with Harry, and she'd tell Uncle they +were both asleep in their rooms. I declare, +it's good to have her back. I +feel as if a mountain was lifted off me,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span> +and on to her. She says you never +dreamed of such fun as she's had out +there at Neuilly, and that it's quite absurd—my +worrying over little things +like Lee and Uncle.</p> + +<p>She talked so much that I grew quite +light-hearted, and had early dinner and +went off to the—</p> + +<p>I'll have to write the rest to-morrow. +A boy says Uncle wants to speak to me.</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Next day.</i></p> + +<p>I do believe Lee knows better how to +manage Uncle than all of us put together!</p> + +<p>When Uncle sent for me, I saw right +off that Mrs. Clary hadn't gotten him +anywhere near all smoothed out. He<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span> +looked awfully vexed, and he told me +he was done with Paris and he was going +to clear out at once. He said he +knew that Edna and I wanted to go to +Italy, but, unfortunately, he couldn't +see it himself in that light. Then he +paused and said "Hum!" and I waited. +After a little he said that he'd happened +to run across two or three things +lately that had rather interested him in +Brittany, and how would I like to go +there. I was almost stunned at the success +of Lee's scheme, and I was so +happy that I suddenly felt as if I wanted +Mrs. Clary and Edna to be happy, too, +and I threw my arms right around his +neck and said: "Oh, <i>Uncle</i>, let's go off +together—just you and me—and have +a real good time together, all by ourselves.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span> +Will you?"</p> + +<p>I must have done it <i>very</i> well, for +Uncle's face smoothed out at once, and +he told me that he'd been meaning to +give me Aunt Jane's watch ever since +she died, only that it needed a new +spring, and he never could remember to +take it to the jeweler's. His face clouded +some later, and he shook his head +and said he wished he felt more security +as to Mrs. Clary and Edna; but then +he crossed his legs the other way, and +said we only had one life to live, and +could I be ready to start by day after +to-morrow. I said that I was sure I +could, and he said "Hum!" very pleasantly, +and I went to my own room and +told Mrs. Clary. She was so pleased; +she says I am a saint, and that it's too<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span> +bad for me to miss the dinner. She is +going to wear her pink pearls, and she +says that she will try to telegraph Lee.</p> + +<p>I will confess that my heart sinks a +little bit from time to time when I +think of trying to bear Uncle all alone +for I don't know how long; but I have +great faith in Lee, and I know that +he'll be somewhere along the coast, +and that will be a comfort.</p> + +<p>Uncle has been out and bought a +Gaelic grammar and the history of the +Siege of La Rochelle, for he says he +wants to have some intelligent conception +of what he sees. He wants me to +learn the grammar, and he says, where +he sees to everything, he should think +I could do a little trifle like that for +him once in a while. When he put it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span> +that way, I thought I must try; but, +oh, heavens! you ought to see that +grammar!</p> + +<p>I will write again as soon as I can. +Harry is going to take us all to the +Café aux Fleurs for tea.</p> + +<p class="rtxhead"> Lovingly,</p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span> +<br> + +<p><span class="dropcap">M</span><span class="smcap">y Dearest Mama</span>: We +are <i>en route</i>! We left Paris +at the cheerful hour of 7 +<span class="smcap">a.m.</span> yesterday morning. No one was +up, and there was another train at half-past +nine, but Uncle said that, considering +the work that lay before us, we had +better not begin by dawdling. I do +think there is a happy medium between +rising at five and "dawdling," but of +course I didn't tell him so.</p> + +<p>Edna sat up in bed and kissed me +good-by. She and Mrs. Clary looked +upon me as a cross between the saver of +the situation, and a burnt offering on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span> +Uncle's altar; but they were all happy, +and I didn't care—much.</p> + +<p>Uncle mapped out the route, and, as +a result, we got down at Chartres about +half-past nine. He put the baggage in +<i>consigne</i>, and then looked about with the +air of a charger who sniffs the battle afar. +I stood beside him, feeling like Mazeppa +just before they let the horse +loose.</p> + +<p>The outlook from the station is not +very attractive, and the first thing that +Uncle said was that he didn't believe it +was worth while stopping at all, and +that he had a good mind to go on with +the train; but just at that instant the +train went on by itself, so we did not +need to discuss the subject.</p> + +<p>You see there is a high ridge that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span> +runs in front of the station, and Chartres +is on the other side. Nearly all the +towns here seem to be quite a little +ways from the railway stations. Mr. +Edgar says it's because the railroads +run after their passengers in Europe +instead of running over them, as they +do in America. Uncle says it's very +inconvenient, anyhow, and he pulled +his hat down hard and said, "Well, +let's have a look at the cathedral, anyway."</p> + +<p>So we stormed the ridge forthwith, +and spread down into the flat country +beyond. As we descended the slope, +Uncle began to be glad he had come. +Chartres is very modest and mainly one +story high, so the Cathedral towers +aloft in a most soul-satisfying manner.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span> +Uncle said it was "Something like." +I was ever so glad that he felt so because +he said in Beauvais that something +he had read had led him to expect +that the cathedral there would +be big enough to hold the Bartholdi +Statue of Liberty in one of its niches, +and of course he was horribly disappointed, +as a consequence.</p> + +<p>We walked straight to the cathedral, +and it was so big that Uncle thought +we had better each take one side and +meet behind, "so as to save time and +not miss anything." I acquiesced, because +I mean to keep him good-tempered, +if keeping good-tempered myself +and acquiescing will do so.</p> + +<p>We started "fair" in front of the +middle front door, and I could hardly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span> +keep a straight face as we walked +promptly and solemnly off in opposite +directions. The cathedral is enormous +and just covered with carving, and I was +only part way down the side when I +saw Uncle coming around the corner, +swinging his umbrella in the briskest +sort of manner. He looked absolutely +disgusted when he saw me, and said in +the most injured tone imaginable, +"You must have been stopping to +look!"</p> + +<p>He wouldn't hear to my continuing +my tour of circumnavigation, so we +went inside at once, and there I held +the guide-book and read the explanation +while he kept up a running contradiction +of everything I read. I don't +see the good of Uncle's carrying a guide-book,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> +for he says they needn't suppose +he doesn't know better than most of it.</p> + +<p>There is a wonderful carved marble +screen around the altar, and a sacred +statue with a yellow satin dress on; but +being inside made Uncle want to be +outside right away, so we left very +quickly, and then he studied the Baedeker +just long enough to let me notice +how all the Roman noses on the kings +and saints outside had been turned into +Eskimo noses by the rains of centuries; +and then he suddenly shut it, and said +we would go right straight off then and +there and see the famous enamels that +Diane de Poitiers gave Henry II. He +explained to me that this wasn't the +English Henry II, but the French +Henry II, and then he asked me which<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> +of us had the luggage-checks, and if I +had noticed whether the train went at +eleven or half-past. I must say it is +like doing multiplications in your head +to travel with Uncle, but of course I +enjoy it, and the walk to St. Peter's +Church was very pleasant, through +quaint streets and along by little canals +like those at Gisors.</p> + +<p>The church was open, and open in +more ways than one, for they were +tearing up the whole floor to put in a +furnace and grave-stones and pick-axes +were leaning up against the columns +everywhere. There wasn't a soul to +be seen, and Uncle was so happy to be +able to poke about unconcierged for a +while that I sat down and let him +desecrate around with his cane until he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span> +came to with a start and asked me what +I supposed we came to Chartres for, +anyway. I got up at that, and we went +to look at the enamels, which are in +behind a locked balustrade and have +curtains hung in front of them besides. +We had to get a woman to unlock the +gate and draw the curtains aside and +explain which enamel was which +Apostle; and uncle was very much put +out over their being apostles at all. I +don't know what he expected in a +church, but he said he never thought +about the church; he only thought +about Diane de Poitiers. He says he +doesn't think it was in good taste her +having anything to do with the apostles, +and then he read in the book again and +found he'd made a mistake, and it was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span> +the king who gave them to her, and not +she who gave them to the king, and +that used him all up, and he said he +wished that he had never come.</p> + +<p>I saw that we should have to have +something to eat right off, so I said I +was hungry and Uncle said that was just +like a woman, but to come on. We +found a small restaurant and had a very +good lunch, and then Uncle said if I felt +satisfied he would take it as a personal +favor if we could go on to Dreux. I +do wish he wouldn't put everything +just that way when I really haven't +done anything; but he looked at his +watch and found that the time before +when he had looked at it he had looked +at it wrong and that we had barely ten +minutes to make the train. As a matter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span> +of fact, the train was going then, but +they don't go until ten minutes after in +France, so when you miss a train you +always have ten minutes left to make it. +We took a cab, and Uncle made the +man understand that if he hurried it +would pay; so we galloped madly over +the ridge and just got aboard in time to +learn that Uncle had left his cane in the +cab and that we'd forgotten our luggage +in <i>consigne</i>.</p> + +<p>Of course the ride was rather gloomy, +because there was almost no way to lay +the blame on me; but after a while +Uncle asked me if I really ever did see +such a rank idiot as M. Sibilet, and he +felt better after that. We reached Dreux +about two o'clock, and I telegraphed +back about the luggage while Uncle +looked up a train for Argentan and set +his watch by the railway time. He<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> +told me that the train that he had +decided on left at 3:04 and that we +could make it and see the mausoleum +"easy." I never contradict Uncle, because +it doesn't do any good and does +upset him awfully, so I went with him +to get the cab, and wondered how long +a mausoleum usually took to examine.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs15" id="gs15"></a> +<img src="images/gs15.png" width="300" height="523" alt="Dreux" title=""> +<span class="caption">Dreux</span></div> + +<p>It seems that there are no cabs in +Dreux!</p> + +<p>I thought that that would end the +mausoleum, but Uncle merely swept his +eyes over the prospect and said we'd +have to walk, and walk pretty prompt. +It was 2:10, and we walked fast. The +mausoleum is on top of a hill, and Uncle +said we could catch our breath after we +got to the top. We never spoke a word +going up. I knew that I was too young<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span> +to die of heart-disease, so I didn't care, +if he didn't.</p> + +<p>It was a terrible climb, but we reached +there at 2:32. It's the mausoleum of the +Orléans family, and is modern. There +is a concierge who takes you around, and +we followed him, Uncle with his watch +in his hand and going on like this: +"2:40—tomb of the king's mother, eh? +Fine old lady! 2:41—tomb of the Duc +d'Aumale; good face, handsome decorations +on his bosom, stained-glass windows—all +made at Sévres, eh? 2:43—" +etc. You can imagine!</p> + +<p>But what you can't imagine is the +sublime and peaceful beauty of all those +exquisite marble people sleeping there +under the slanting rainbow sun-rays of +the magnificent windows. They affected<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span> +me so deeply that, in spite of Uncle, I +could hardly keep back the tears. They +didn't seem living and they didn't +seem dead; I don't know what they +were like—spirits made visible, perhaps. +The Duchesse d'Orléans has her arm +stretched across, so that it touches her +husband, who was the eldest son of +Louis Philippe. The king himself +stands upright in the midst of them all, +and Queen Marie Amélie kneels at his +side in a beautiful pose. Two precious +little babies are sculptured together on +one tomb, and all the while we were +going about, the place resounded with +the echoes of the chisels that were preparing +a place for the Prince Henry +who was killed in Africa.</p> + +<p>I could have stayed there hours,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span> +wrapped up in the mystery and wonder +of it all, but Uncle fell down some steps +while he was looking at his watch, and +we departed forthwith. He said we +must walk fast, and so again we walked +fast. Of course it was easier, though, +going down-hill, and I said, when we +were near enough not to be anxious +any more, "It was worth seeing, wasn't +it?" To which Uncle replied: "Yes, +if you enjoy that kind of thing; but all +I could think of was the idea of spending +such a lot of money on statues and +then not having any cabs at the depot."</p> + +<p>There was no time to get anything +more to eat at the moment, so I just +held my tongue until we were safely on +the train again.</p> + +<p>We reached Argentan at 6:15 <span class="smcap">p.m.</span>,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span> +and I felt as if I'd been running Uncle, +or, rather, running with Uncle, for a +month.</p> + +<p>The next morning we were called at +seven, and I really thought that I could +not get up at first; but, I made it at the +third try, and Uncle and I were out +"seeing Argentan" at eight. At half-past +he declared that there was really +nothing to see, so we went to the <i>gare</i>, +and he bought a Paris "Herald." As +we were sitting there waiting for the +8:04 train to Coulibœuf, in came Elfrida +Sanders and her sister with bicycles. I +was <i>so</i> astonished, and Uncle was rather +pleased, too. They are doing Normandy +on wheels, and they have their tools and +a kodak and a small set of toilet-things +and four clean collars all tied on to them.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span> +Elfrida says they've had a lovely time—only +broken glass once, and rain two +days. The sister is going to write a +book and call it "Two on a Trot." I +think that's a funny name for a bicycle +story. Uncle said to call it "Two on a +Tire"; but you know how stupid Elfrida +is, and so she said, "Oh, but +it's not a tandem." They were going +to Coulibœuf, too, but we couldn't go +together because they were traveling +third-class. Elfrida says they are seeing +Europe nicely on less than a dollar a +day, and Uncle said "Great Scott!"</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs16" id="gs16"></a> +<img src="images/gs16.png" width="450" height="347" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"Elfrida says they are seeing Europe nicely on less than a +dollar a day, and Uncle said 'Great Scott!'"</span> +</div> + + +<p>While we were on the train it began +to rain and then it poured. Uncle became +very gloomy and said that is just +what we might have expected. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span> +didn't expect rain, and I didn't see +why I should have expected it, so I +only nodded. Uncle didn't like my +nodding, and said I shouldn't take +such a pessimistic view of life at my +age. While he was talking I suddenly +remembered the umbrella and asked +him where it was, and he had left it in +Argentan! Then there was no more +conversation.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs17" id="gs17"></a> +<img src="images/gs17.png" width="300" height="428" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">Falaise</span> +</div> + + +<p>We had to change cars at Coulibœuf, +and we reached Falaise about noon. +Elfrida and her sister got right on to +their wheels and bumped gaily away +over the cobblestones at once. The +rain was over and the sun was shining, +but Uncle said he had lost all faith in +France and wanted to buy another +umbrella the very first thing. We<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span> +went to a store, and he said to buy a +cheap one, as I would be sure to lose +it. I asked for a cheap one, but the +woman was quite indignant and said that +she did not keep any cheap umbrellas—that +the lowest she had was two +francs—forty cents. I had to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span> +translate it to Uncle, and he was so +amused that he bought one for three +francs and gave a franc to her baby +that was tied in a high chair by the +window.</p> + +<p>Then we took a cab to the castle +and paid the man at the entrance and +let him go. There is a lovely sloping +road that follows the curve of the outer +wall up to the summit of the hill, and +we forgot how tired we were in thinking +how pretty it was. These old +castle enclosures are all so big. This +one contains a college at one end, and +then there is quite a wood which you +must walk through before you come to +the castle itself at the other end.</p> + +<p>The castle is wonderful. It is splendid +and big and old and strong and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span> +Norman. It is built out of the red +rock, and it has oubliettes and wells and +pits and towers and everything of the +kind that heart could wish to see. We +saw the room where Prince Arthur +was imprisoned for seven years and the +room where William the Conqueror +was born. It's a very little room in +which to have had such a wonderful +thing happen.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs18" id="gs18"></a> +<img src="images/gs18.png" width="450" height="438" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"Paid the man at the entrance and let him go."</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>Uncle enjoyed the castle immensely; +he took the deepest interest in every +inch of it, and when the concierge +showed us the window from which +Robert the Devil first saw Arlette, he +planted himself firmly inside it and I +almost thought that he was going to +stay there forever. My feet ached so +that I was glad enough to lean up anywhere<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span> +for a minute, and I honestly +believe that it was ten before he +moved. Then he gave himself a little +shake and said: "Well to think of +owning this place, and being able to +stand in a window as high up as that +one, and then to look down as far as +that well is, and then only to need to +say, 'Bring her up!' and to know she'd +got to come! Great Scott! No wonder +their son conquered England. I'm +only surprised that he didn't wipe +Europe off the face of the continent!" +Then he shook his head for quite a +little while, and we got under way +again and went to Talbot's Tower.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 380px;"> +<a name="gs19" id="gs19"></a> +<img src="images/gs19.png" width="380" height="568" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"The coming down was awful"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>It's high, and Uncle wanted to climb +it. I didn't mind his climbing it, but +he wanted me to climb it, too, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span> +some one was ringing the bell, so the +concierge had to leave us and go back +before anything was settled. Uncle said +it was rather hard when he was doing +so much to try and finish me up (he +meant "finish me off," I think), for +me to be so lukewarm about being +finished so I started in to climb, although +my knees felt like crumpled +tissue-paper. <a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a>The steps were so worn +that it was awful work and Uncle +would go up as far as anyone could. +He had the umbrella and I had the +candle and often we had to step two +and even three steps at once. When +we came to the place where the steps<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span> +ended, he stood and peeked out of a +window (imagining himself Lord Talbot, +I reckon—) and then we started +back. The coming down was awful,—I +was honestly frightened. Uncle went +first and I stepped on his coat twice +and spilt candle-grease on his hat. +Uncle found it easier coming down +than going up, and it wasn't until we +reached the bottom that we discovered +that the reason why was because he had +left the umbrella behind and so had +two hands to hold on by. I said, +"Never mind, it only cost sixty cents"; +but he was not to be comforted, and +said bitterly, "You forget the franc that +I gave her baby." I would have gone +back for it, but I felt so hot and tired.</p> + +<p>We came to Caen this noon, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span> +went to bed, and I don't believe we +shall ever get up again. Uncle said +that with my kind permission he would +suggest that I should not disturb him, +and heaven knows that I have no desire +to. I telegraphed Mrs. Clary about +mail, and then I went to sleep and I +slept until just now.</p> + +<p>I never was so near dead in all my +life; but you mustn't think for a +minute that I'm not having a lovely +time, for I am, and it was so kind of +Uncle to bring me. Now good-by, +and with much love,</p> + +<p class="rtxhead"> Yours, </p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + +<blockquote><div class="footnote"><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The author begs the reader's +lenient consideration as to this description +of Talbot's Tower. The story was written from +notes taken five years ago, since which time +the tower has undergone a thorough restoration.</div></blockquote><br> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span> + +<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN PARALYZED</p> +<br> + +<p><span class="dropcap">"C</span><span class="smcap">ome in</span>! Come on! Well, +don't you hear? Can't you +understand any—Oh, it's you, +child. I thought it was one of those +darned waiters.</p> + +<p>"Sit down; pull up a chair by the bed. +It's so long since I sent for you that I +just about thought that you were not +coming. I suppose you were surprised +at my sending for you; but it was the +only way to do. It's a hard thing to +break to you, Yvonne; but you'd have +to know in the course of the day, and I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span> +always do everything right off that I've +not decided to wait and see about. Now +don't look frightened, my dear; nobody's +<i>dead</i>—it's only that I'm paralyzed!</p> + +<p>"There, what do you think of that? +Yes, it's true for a fact. My legs! I +had some premonitory symptoms yesterday +going up that cursed old tower, and +I had some very advanced ones coming +down from it; and this morning, when +I started to shave, the truth just burst +in my face. Now, don't try to say anything, +for I've read too many patent-medicine +advertisements not to recognize +paralysis when I feel it up and down the +back of my own legs. I'm not the +man not to know my own feelings, and +I want to tell you that when I got up<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span> +this morning I couldn't stand up, and +then, after I stood up, I couldn't sit +down; and if that isn't a clear case of +having completely given out, I don't +know what you would call it.</p> + +<p>"Now, my dear, the question is, +what's to be done? Of course our +travels have come to a full stop, for I +shall probably never walk again. The +curious thing is that I don't feel any +particular inclination ever to walk again. +You've no conception of the sentiments +that I feel in my legs; but if you roll the +fatigue of a lifetime into either the left +or the right, you can get some faint +inkling of the first freshness of paralysis. +I tell you, Yvonne, it is awful. Every +cobblestone I've gone over seems to be +singing in my calves; but that's neither<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span> +here nor there. What I want you to +do is to go to the pocket of my valise +get out the cable-code book and look +out a word that means 'Both legs paralyzed. +What shall I do with the girls?' +You'll find a word that means it, if you +look long enough. They've got forty +pages of words that mean every fool +thing on earth from 'It's a boy' to 'Impossible +to lend you ten dollars.' I was +reading it over in Paris the other day +while I waited for my money at the bank.</p> + +<p>"Well, ain't you going to get the +code-book? I don't want to be impatient, +but I want some one to be doing +something. You don't know how restless +it makes me to think of lying still +for the rest of my life. While I was +waiting for you, I was thinking that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span> +probably I shall live right here in Caen +till I die. I'm very glad we got here +too late to see anything, because now I +can take it bit by bit and drag it out +through my remaining days. I shall +have a wheeling-chair and a man to push +me around, and—well, maybe it's in +the little outside pocket. I know I had +it in Paris, anyhow; I remember I was +just reading that 'salsify' means 'Your +mother-in-law left by the ten o'clock +train,' and that 'salsifry' means that she +didn't, when they brought me my +money, and I was free to go.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs20" id="gs20"></a> +<img src="images/gs20.png" width="450" height="435" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"'I'm happy that it will be out of the question for me ever +to travel again.'"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span></p> +</div> + + + +<p>"Well, now you've got it. I thought +maybe it would be in the little valise all +the time. Seems to me the sicknesses +begin with 'Salt.' I remember 'Saltfish' +means 'have got smallpox; keep<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span> +away,' and 'Saltpetre' means 'have got +a cold; come at once.' You look along +there and find 'paralysis.' I'll just keep +quiet while you're looking. I'd better +be learning to keep quiet. Keeping +quiet must be the long suit of the paralyzed, +I should fancy. But you see +what it is now to be an optimist. +Here's my life practically over all of a +sudden, and, instead of being blue, I'm +as cheerful as a cricket. No need of +fussing over the candle-grease on my +hat now, for I shall never wear a hat +again, I shall wear a soft felt tied over +my ears with a plaid shawl as they +always do in rolling-chairs; as for the +umbrella, I'm actually glad I left it. +It would only have been an aggravation +to have seen it lying around. But all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span> +the same I can't see why you didn't +notice it lying down there. It must +have been in plain sight,—I remember +pointing over at Mont Mirat with it, +and saying the rock looked as if it had +been dropped there from above. Yvonne, +I tell you when I think of all we did +these last two days I feel perfectly content +to be paralyzed. I'm glad to think +that I've got such a good excuse to stay +right in bed; I'm happy that it will be +out of the question for me ever to travel +again. I feel as if I've traveled enough +to last me forever; I actually don't want +to see anything more. No more catching +trains and climbing castles for your +Uncle John—not in his life. You can +put the Baedeker in the fire right now—I +never want to see a red cover or a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span> +green string or an index again as long as +I live. What's that? No, I sha'n't +want it to look over and recall things by; +I can recall more than I want to just by +the way I feel. I don't need any guide-book +to remember what I've been +through since I left Paris. I remember +too much. I remember so much that +I am rejoiced to think that muscles over +which I have no control will prevent my +having to go out to-day and see anything +else. It seems a little hard to +think of having sight-seen so hard that +you never want to see another sight, but +I'm perfectly content. And I don't +want a doctor, either; I've no faith in +French doctors. It would be just like +one to hypnotize me and set me going +again, and I don't want to go. I want<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> +to lie right here, and I thank the Lord +that I have money enough to allow me +to lie here forever, if I feel like it. I +was thinking this morning what a horrible +existence a tramp must lead—always +going on to new places. Thank +Heaven, I can just settle down in this +old one and stay on indefinitely. I want +you to go down to the office and ask +what rate they'll make for this room +by the year. I want this same room +right along. It's the first restful spot +I've struck since my trunk went smash +into that ship. Yvonne, did you notice +the way they handled those trunks when +we landed—as if they were eggs? I tell +you, the baggage system at home is a +burning disgrace. That's one reason I +like Europe so—it's quiet and peaceful.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span> +I heard some goats go by this morning; +I'd like to know a hotel in America +where you can listen to a goat. And +then that wallpaper, what a tranquil +pattern—a basket of sunflowers upside +down alternately with a single palm upside +up! What a contrast to the paper +on that room I sailed from! It looked +more like snakes doing physical culture +than anything else.</p> + +<p>"Yvonne, I was thinking it all over +as I lay here this morning waiting for +you, and the truth is, we've been traveling +too fast. I wanted you to see all +there was to see, and I overlooked myself +completely. Don't feel badly, child, +because I know you never meant it; but it +<i>is</i> the truth, and, as a consequence, +here I lie paralyzed. Yes,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span> +we've been traveling too fast. It's the +vice of the American abroad; it's the +terrible secret drain upon the strength +of our better classes. We come over to +rest, and if we don't do two countries +a week we feel we've wasted our +money. The idea of leaving Paris in +the morning and doing Chartres and +Dreux and getting to Argentan that +night! Why, Hercules himself would +have been used up. And then that +castle at Falaise. But I'm not sorry +that I went to Falaise. No, I'm not +sorry. Yvonne, there was something +about that castle that I'll never get +over. I tell you those were the days +to live in! I was thinking about it +while I was waiting for you this morning. +Will you consider what it must<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span> +have been to put on a suit that you +couldn't be punched through, and then +get out with an ax that faced two ways +and have full freedom to hack at people +you hated. I tell you, child, I should +have been one of those who barricaded +themselves behind the dead bodies they +had killed and kept right on firing over +the top. And to-day my armor would +be hanging up somewhere all full of +dents and rusty blood-stains, and I'd be +a sight in some cathedral with your +Aunt Jane wearing a funnel and an +accordion beside me. We'd both be +in marble, of course, some worn by +time and some chipped by tourists—ah, +well!</p> + +<p>"Can't you find anything suitable in +that code-book? Here, I've been<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span> +waiting a quarter of an hour for you to +hunt—hand me the book. I remember +'Shell' is 'have broken my left leg,' +and 'Shell-fish' is 'have broken my +right leg,' and 'Shawl' is—wait a bit—keep +still, Yvonne; no one in the +wide world can study a code and listen +at the—</p> + +<p>"Oh, well, I'll leave it till to-night. +Not that I'm irritated at your interruption, +for I never let anything ruffle +me, and when you write home the +first thing I want you to tell your +mother is that being paralyzed has not +changed me one particle. Same even +disposition, same calm outlook on life, +same disinclination to ever bother anyone. +I want you to make them understand +in particular how cheerful I am.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span> +Some men would turn cynical at +waking up paralyzed, but not me. I +feel as if I might get about quite a +little in Caen, maybe even get to +Falaise again some time; but you can +bank on one thing, and that is that if I +ever go back to Falaise I won't go up +that tower again. I was wondering +this morning as I lay here waiting for +you how in thunder you were holding +that candle to spill so much grease on +my hat. You can't say that you didn't +know I was there, for every second +step you took your foot hit me in the +small of the back. You ought to have +gone first, anyhow. I know the rule +is for a man to go first going down a +staircase, but I don't call that business +we were on any staircase; it was more<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span> +like a series of cascades with us forming +the merry, leaping, part. I tell you +what, Yvonne, the next time it's up to +your Uncle John to play the chamois +that springs from crag to crag over an +old middle-aged staircase while his niece +pours candle-grease on his hat, you can +excuse me.</p> + +<p>"What I like is clean, open-to-the-day-light +ruins like that old one at +Jumièges! No peril, no anxiety—all +on a level, and time to look up at what +wasn't. I tell you, I wouldn't have +missed seeing Jumièges for anything. +I was thinking this morning as I lay +here waiting for you that I have a good +mind to write a book about my travels, +and that when I do I shall have the +frontispiece, me in front of Jumièges.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span> +I could take an artist down there on +purpose, and while he wasn't doing +me, I could look it all over again. +Maybe I could go there alone with a +kodak and get a satisfactory frontispiece, +only those rocks were so thick that +most people would think it was a defective +plate. I shouldn't like to have +them think that, for if I was going to +have a book at all, I should have it in +good style—gold edges, bevel-plate, and +so forth, don't you know. I'd like to +write a book about Europe, I vow. I +haven't been here very long, but I'll +swear I know ten times more than any +book ever tells. It never said a word +in Baedeker about there not being any +cabs at Dreux, or about the condition +of those steps in Talbot's Tower, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span> +such things ought to be known. It's +all right to make light of perils past, +but those steps were too dark for me to +ever make light of in this world. Up +toward the top where we had to sit +down and stretch for the next one—you +remember?—I must own that I was +honestly sorry I came.</p> + +<p>"Well, my child, it must be nearing +noon, and I feel like taking a nap before +dinner. Suppose you go in and +write to your mother and Mrs. Clary. +After your mother gets the cable, she'll +naturally be anxious for details, and she +won't want to wait longer than ten +days to know all. I wish you'd ring +and tell them to bring me some hot +water before you go; tell them I want +it in a pitcher. Make them understand<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span> +a pitcher. They brought it last +night in a sort of brass cylinder, and I +couldn't get the thing open anyway—had +to use it for a hot-water-bag in bed +in the end. It worked fine for that. +Never cooled off all night, in fact, I +couldn't put my feet against it till +morning.</p> + +<p>"There, now, you go on and leave +me to sleep. You haven't the faintest +idea of how used-up I feel. Don't +forget to write your mother how cheerful +I am; don't forget the hot water. +I'll send for you when I want you. +There—there—I'm all right, child, +don't you worry. Just pull the curtains +and let me sleep."</p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p> +<br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Caen.</i></p> + +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: We are still +there, and I'm so happy +Uncle is in bed, and at first +he thought he was paralyzed, but now he +says he's only refusing to take chances. +It's so nice having him in bed, because +Lee is here, and Uncle makes it all +right without knowing anything about +it. It was yesterday that he thought +he was paralyzed; he sent for me before +I was awake to tell me. I was so +dreadfully stiff and lame that I thought +at first that I could not get up; but of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span> +course I did, and went to him as soon +as I could. He told me that he was +paralyzed, really paralyzed; but I wasn't +frightened, because, when he explained +his feelings, I knew every one of them, +and of course I knew that I wasn't paralyzed. +Only when he rolled around +upon his pillows and said he certainly +would end his days right here in Caen, +I couldn't help wishing that he had +left me to enjoy my pillows, also.</p> + +<p>But he wanted to talk, so I listened +for ever so long; and then he wanted to +sleep, so I came away to write you, and +there was a note from Lee in my room. +He was down-stairs waiting, and I went +right down, and my, but it was good to +see him! I didn't kiss him, because it +was a hotel parlor, even if we don't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span> +know any one in Caen; but I told him +about Uncle, and he said it was fine and +that he hoped he would be in bed a +week, but no such luck. The yacht +has broken a thumb-screw, or whatever +it is on a yacht, and they have all come +here to meet some automobile people. +Lee looks real well; he says he's had +no end of fun lately, and that it is a +shame I can't go, too.</p> + +<p>While we were talking, Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley +came in. I didn't know +that she was in Europe, and Lee was +dreadfully put out for she sat right down +and asked all about us. Lee explained +that he was here with a yacht and that +I was here with Uncle; but she didn't +seem to believe us, and shook her head, +and asked about Mrs. Clary. She said<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span> +Mr. Chigley was here, too, and they +have seen a monument in the cemetery +here that is just what they want for +Mr. Catherwood. She says Mr. Catherwood +was so clear-cut and Doric in +his ideas that it has been very hard to +find the right thing. She said Mr. +Chigley was out making a sketch of the +monument then. She says Mr. Chigley +is devotion itself to Mr. Catherwood's +memory, and cabled a beautiful wreath +on his wedding anniversary and palms +tied with purple the day he died. She +said she was very happy, and Mr. Chigley +just loves to hear her tell stories +about Mr. Catherwood by the hour. +Lee was awfully rude and kept yawning, +and I know she didn't like it by the +way she looked at him. It was awfully<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span> +trying to have her just then, because, of +course, there's no telling how long +Uncle will stay paralyzed. We really +thought she would stay until lunch-time, +but Lee yawned so that she went at last.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs21" id="gs21"></a> +<img src="images/gs21.png" width="450" height="355" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"Lee was awfully rude and +kept yawning, and I know she didn't +like it by the way she looked at him."</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>Lee said that we ought to join them +in the touring-cars and do Brittany that +way, but he didn't like to tackle Uncle. +He says Uncle is a very tough proposition, +because he is so devilish observing, +and he never begged my pardon for +saying it, either. Of course Uncle +brought me, and I must do as he wishes, +but I do wish that he liked Lee. Lee +says he wishes he liked him, too; he +says it would be so devilish convenient +just now, and he didn't beg my pardon +that time, either.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs22" id="gs22"></a> +<img src="images/gs22.png" width="300" height="404" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">Caen</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>I ran up, and Uncle was still asleep, +so I had lunch with Lee at the table +d'hôte. Mr. Chigley and Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley +sat opposite, and she does look +so funny with her wedding-rings +and engagement-rings alternating on the +same finger. Mr. Chigley said he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span> +should call on Uncle, and Lee and I +were frightened to death until I remembered +that Uncle wouldn't be able to +read the card or understand the waiter +without me. After luncheon I ran up +again, and Uncle was still asleep, so we +went out to walk. We had a lovely +walk, and never looked at a sight, and +when we came back I ran up again, +and Uncle was still asleep; so Lee and +I sat down in the parlor, and we were +just going to be so happy when Pinkie +and Bunnie Clemens came in. Well, +really, I hardly knew either, they have +changed so, and Pinkie has a beard and +Bunnie is over six feet high. They are +on a bicycle tour with eight men, and +they saw Elfrida and her sister yesterday, +headed for Bayeux. Pinkie says<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span> +it's been such bad weather they've +had to tie umbrellas and waterproofs to +them, too. He says Elfrida looks half-witted, +and her sister looks like a full +idiot. I was so glad that I had on a +Paris frock. They wanted me to go to +the theater with them, but of course I +couldn't, for I couldn't be sure about +Uncle's staying paralyzed.</p> + +<p>He slept till eight o'clock last night, +and then he had dinner and went right +to sleep again, so I could have gone to +the theater after all; but how could I +know to dare to risk it?</p> + +<p>Lee and the men from the yacht are +at another hotel, so he didn't come very +early this morning, and it was fortunate, +because Uncle sent for me about +nine to explain Mr. Chigley's card,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span> +which they poked under the door last +night. Uncle was so curious to know +what it was that he got out of bed and +found he could walk. He said he had +never felt sure that it was paralysis, only +he wanted to be on the safe side, and +he is in bed still, only he is so lively +that I am half crazy over Lee. If Uncle +concludes he's all right, and comes +down and finds Lee, I know he isn't +going to like it at all. Pinkie and Bunnie +have gone on to Mont St. Michel, +and the Catherwood-Chigleys took the +train for Dol right after breakfast. Mr. +Chigley was very sorry not to see Uncle, +and Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley said +she should write you all about how +well and happy I was looking. I know +that what she really means to write<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span> +about is Lee; but you know all about +him, so I don't care.</p> + +<p>Lee says if there was time he'd go to +Paris and get a nurse and an electric-battery +and have Uncle kept just comfortably +paralyzed for a few more days, but +there isn't time, and I am so worried. +If Uncle loses any more patience with +Lee, he won't have any patience left at +all, and I'll have to go all of the rest +of the trip that way. We took a walk +this afternoon to consult, and we saw +Elfrida and her sister. They have cut +off their hair, because it bothered them +so, coming down in their eyes, and Elfrida +says she feels all the freedom of a +man thrilling through her—you know +how funny she always talks. They have +seven calloused places on the inside of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span> +each hand from the handle-bars, and +Elfrida says she's sure their insteps will +arch forever after. They were coming +out of St. Stephen's Church, and the +only way to get rid of them was to say +that we were just going in; so we said it, +and went in.</p> + +<p>It was really very interesting, and the +tomb of William the Conqueror is +there. He built St. Stephen's, and Mathilde +built La Trinité at the other end +of the town, partly as a thank-offering +for conquering England and partly as a +penance for being cousins. There was +a monastery with St. Stephen's and a +convent with La Trinité until the Revolution +changed everything. William's +tomb is just a flat slab in front of the +altar, but he really isn't there any more,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span> +for they have dug him up and scattered +him over and over again. The church +is tremendously big and plain, and +every word you even whisper echoes so +much that Lee and I thought we'd better +come out where we could talk alone.</p> + +<p>When we came back to the hotel, I +ran up, and the mail had come from +Paris; so Uncle said if I'd fill his fountain-pen, +he'd just spend the afternoon +letting a few people in America know +what Europe was really like. I'm a +little bit troubled, for I'm all over being +stiff and sore from that climbing, +and yet he seems to feel almost as mean +as ever. He has his meals in his room, +for, although we're on the first floor, +he says he cannot even think calmly of +a stair-case yet. He says that Talbot's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span> +Tower seems to have settled in his +calves, and Heaven knows when he'll +get over it. Lee says I ought not to +worry, but to make the most out of the +situation; but I do worry, because Uncle +is so uncertain. And I'm perfectly +positive that there will be an awful scene +when he finds out that during his paralysis +I've been going all over with +Lee.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs23" id="gs23"></a> +<img src="images/gs23.png" width="300" height="326" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"He has his meals in his room, for he says he cannot +even think calmly of a stair-case yet."</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>Lee and I went to walk this afternoon, +and we visited the old, old church +of St. Nicolas. It said in the book that +the apse still had its original stone roof, +and Lee said it would be a good chance +to learn what an apse was; so we set +out to go there, but we forgot all about +where we set out for, and it was five +o'clock before we finally got back to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span> +where it was. It stands in an old cemetery, +and it says in the book that it +has been secularized; so we climbed up +on gravestones till we could see in the +windows and learn what that meant, +also. The gravestones were all covered +with lichen and so slippery that in +the end Lee gave up and just helped +me to look. We didn't learn much, +though, for it was only full of hay.</p> + +<p>When we got back to the hotel, I +ran up, and Uncle was gone! I never +was so frightened in my life, and when +I ran back and told Lee, he whistled, +so I saw that he was upset, too. He +said I'd better go to my room and wait, +and he'd dine at his hotel to-night; so +I went to my room, and Uncle was +there, hunting all through my things<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span> +for the address-book. I was so glad and +relieved that I didn't mind a bit the +way he had churned everything up, although +you ought to see my trunk, and +I kissed him and told him it was just +splendid to see him beginning to go +about again. He looked pleased, but +he says the backs of his legs are still beyond +the power of description, and so I +proposed having dinner with him in his +room, which we did very comfortably, +and he told me that he should remember +this trip till the day he died, without +any regard for the grease I spilt on +his hat. After dinner he was very fidgety, +and I can see that the confinement +is wearing on him; but I don't know +what to do.</p> + +<p>More letters came by the evening<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span> +mail, and Mrs. Clary is so in raptures +over the dinner that when Uncle asked +me if I had heard from her I thought +it was wisest to say no, because I knew +that if he read how happy M. Sibilet +was making her, he surely wouldn't +like it at all.</p> + +<p>Lee sent me a note by a messenger +about eleven o'clock, with instructions +in French on the outside about their +delivering it to me when I was <i>not</i> with +Uncle. They delivered it all right, +and I read it. He just said that the +automobiles had come, and that he was +going to cast his die clean over the +Rubicon to-morrow morning at eleven. +That means that he is going, of course, +and that I am to be left here all alone. +I do feel very badly over it, for Uncle<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span> +will be almost sure to find out about +Lee whenever he can get downstairs +again, and then I'm sure I don't know +what will happen. Of course I've not +done anything that I shouldn't have +done; but, dear me! doing right +doesn't help if Uncle chooses to decide +that it is wrong. And if he can't walk, +to let us go on traveling, he's going to +keep getting more and more difficult to +get along with. I don't like to tell +Lee how troubled I am, because if Lee +gets worked up and decides to take a +hand in while I'm traveling with +Uncle, I might as well be Mr. Pickwick +when he rushed between just in +time to get the tongs on one side and +the shovel on the other. I don't want +Lee trying to defend me from Uncle,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span> +because I know Uncle would never +forgive him for thinking I needed defending. +You know yourself just how +Uncle is, and now that his legs are so +stiff he is more that way than ever. +Lee doesn't understand, and I can't +make him understand, and perhaps it's +just as well that he should go on to-morrow. +Maybe Uncle will be better +in a few days, so that we can visit +Bayeux. He's crazy to go to Bayeux +and see the tapestry, and it isn't so very +far. But what shall we do if we come +to any town again where there are no +cabs! It would be awful.</p> + +<p>However, I shall not worry, for it's +no use. Mrs. Catherwood-Chigley +wrote me her address on one of her +cards, and Lee took it and sent it to me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> +with some beautiful flowers. He +thought it was such a clever, safe idea; +but just suppose we meet them again! +If I didn't think Lee was just right, I'd +think he had almost too many clever +ideas; and, anyhow, I know that I'm +sure that he has too many while I'm +traveling with Uncle.</p> + +<p>Now, good-night, it's so very late. +Don't ever feel troubled over me, for +I'm having a splendid time, and it was +so kind of Uncle to bring us.</p> + +<p class="center"> Your own loving </p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="X" id="X"></a>X</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p> +<br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire.</i></p> +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: I am the +happiest thing in the whole +wide world, and Lee is the +grandest fellow! I must write you +everything, and you will see.</p> + +<p>The morning after I last wrote, +Uncle had me waked up at seven and +wrote on a scrap of paper, "We leave +for Bayeux at 8.30." I was just about +sick, for I knew he wasn't able to, and +then, besides, if we left so early, I surely +shouldn't see Lee again. But I got up +and dressed, of course, and I was beside<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span> +myself to find some way of sending Lee +a scrap of a good-by before we took a +cab for the <i>gare</i>. Uncle was in high +spirits over getting out again, and all +went well until it came the minute to +get him on to the train. Well, I do +believe he was scared himself. Getting +on to a French train is almost like +going up a ladder that slopes the wrong +way, I always think, and it took two +commissionaires to hoist Uncle into +the coupé. He was awfully worried +over it, I could see, for he talked about +what an outrageous idiot Mr. Chopstone +was all the way to Bayeux. We had to +get out there, of course, and I was beside +myself to know how to manage. +In the end Uncle came down so suddenly +that he nearly crushed me and a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span> +meek, good-hearted little Frenchman +who had kindly offered to help assist.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs24" id="gs24"></a> +<img src="images/gs24.png" width="300" height="472" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">Bayeux</span> +</div> + + +<p>The <i>gare</i> at Bayeux is quite a walk +from the part of the town where the +sights are and there wasn't a cab or a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span> +thing on wheels. I didn't dare look at +Uncle, for there is no train back till +four in the afternoon. He seemed a +bit staggered at first, and then he said +well, it was level, and we'd go leisurely +along and enjoy the fresh, pure, sweet +air of the country. So we walked along, +but I could see he wasn't enjoying it a +bit, and it took us a half-hour to get to +where we were going. We went to +the cathedral first, and Uncle sat right +down and said he wanted time enough +to enjoy the ground-work of the vaulting +and that I could just leave him and +go around alone. It was my first +chance to look at anything as slow as I +liked, and I really did enjoy myself very +much.</p> + +<p>It's a really wonderful old cathedral,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span> +and I found a nice old sacristan +behind the altar, and he took me underneath +into the crypt, and the crypt is +the original church where Harold took +the oath. It was slowly buried by the +dirt of centuries, and when they started +to put a furnace in a few years ago, they +found it and dug it out again. It isn't +very large, and the walls are of stone +several feet thick, with little bits of +arched windows set up too high to see +from.</p> + +<p>When I came back we went to see +the tapestry in the museum, and it isn't +really tapestry at all: it's a long, long +strip of linen about a foot wide, with +scenes embroidered on it in Kensington, +and over and over. It's really very +well done, and it isn't a bit badly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span> +worn out—only a few little holes here +and there. The scenes are very interesting, +and some of them are awfully +funny. The way they hauled the +horses over the sides of the boats when +they landed in England, for example. +The Saxons have beards, and the Normans +are shaven. I couldn't help +thinking how funny it was that the +Normans, who were regarded as barbarians +by the French, were looked upon +as tremendously effete by the English. +Uncle took a deal of pleasure studying +the whole thing, and we were there till +it was time for lunch. We had a nice +lunch at a clean little place, and then +came the rub. There was nothing to +do till train-time, and that terrible walk +to the <i>gare</i>. I had brought a book<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span> +along, so I could read aloud, but Uncle +said only a woman would come to +Bayeux and read a novel, and that I +reminded him of Aunt Jane. You +know how terrible it is when any one +reminds him of Aunt Jane; so I closed +the book at once, and said I'd do anything +he liked. He said that that was +more like Aunt Jane than ever, to just +sit back and throw the whole burden +on to him; and then he shook his +watch and held it to his ear and said +"Hum!" too, one right after the other. +I was almost beside myself to know +what to do or what to suggest, and just +then something came puffing up behind +us and stopped right at our side. It +was a big automobile, with three men +in it, and one jerked off his mask and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span> +jumped out over the wheel and grabbed +Uncle by the hand. And it was Lee!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs25" id="gs25"></a> +<img src="images/gs25.png" width="450" height="366" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"And it was Lee"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>You never saw anything like Uncle's +face! He seemed reparalyzed for a few +seconds, and Lee kept shaking his hand +and telling him how glad he was to see +him, and how he <i>must</i> get right into +the automobile and go on with them to +Caen. My heart just about stopped +beating, I was so anxious, but Lee never +stopped shaking, and the other men took +off their masks and got out, too, and told +Uncle he really must do them the honor +and give them the pleasure, and in the +end we got him in, and Lee won out.</p> + +<p>Oh, it was such fun! We had the +most glorious trip back to Caen. They +had an extra mask along, and Uncle +wore it and sat on the front seat, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span> +Mr. Peters, the man who owns the +automobile, was really lovely to him. +The other man and Lee and I sat behind, +and the other man is Mr. Peters's +mother's son by her second husband. His +name is Archie Stowell, and I should +judge that Mr. Peters's mother's second +husband was a lot livelier than the first, +but not so clever. Mr. Peters is really +awfully clever, and the way he talked +to Uncle was wonderful. Uncle said it +was a very smooth-riding automobile, +and Mr. Peters said it did him good all +through to meet some one who recognized +the good points of a good machine +at once; he said not one man in a thousand +had brains enough to know a good +machine when he was in it, and that +he was overjoyed to have accidentally<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span> +met the one man who did discriminate. +And Uncle said he should judge that +automobiling was a very easy way of +getting over the ground when one was +traveling in Europe, and Mr. Peters +said it was perfectly bewildering how +the breadth and scope of Uncle's mind +could instantaneously seize and weigh +every side of an intricate proposition and +as instantaneously solve it completely. +By the time we reached Caen Uncle +was so saturated with Mr. Peters that +he even smiled on Lee as we got out +and asked them all three to dine with +us at eight. They accepted, and went +to their hotel to dress, and Uncle went +to his room without one word of any +kind to me.</p> + +<p>They came, and we had a very nice<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span> +dinner in a little separate room, and the +way Mr. Peters talked to Uncle was +worth listening to surely. And when +Uncle was talking, he leaned forward +and paid attention as if his life depended +on every word. By ten o'clock Uncle +was happier than I have almost ever +seen him, and Mr. Peters said it was no +use, we just simply must join their party +and go on in the automobile. Lee began +to laugh when he said that, and +said: "Now, Peters, you'll learn the +sensation of getting turned down cold." +It was an awful second for me, because +I just felt Uncle's terrible battle between +not wanting to go on with Lee and wanting +to contradict him; but in the end +the wanting to contradict overpowered +everything else, and he said: "Young<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span> +man, when you are as old as I am you'll +be less ready to speak for other people +than you seem disposed to do now."</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs26" id="gs26"></a> +<img src="images/gs26.png" width="450" height="300" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"We passed Elfrida and her +sister to-day, pedaling along for dear life"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span></p> +</div> + + +<p>And then he accepted Mr. Peters's +invitation! So will you only please to +think of it—we are touring with Lee, +and to-day we came up through the +lovely valley of the Vire to this little +town of the same name. It is all too +nice for words; Uncle sits on the front +seat all the time, and when he gives +Mr. Peters advice, Mr. Peters always +thanks him and says that he never met +any one before with sense enough to +have figured that out.</p> + +<p>We passed Elfrida and her sister to-day, +pedaling along for dear life. They +didn't know us, and they are getting to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span> +look so awful that I thought it was just +as well. Uncle says he thinks they are +seeing Europe for thirty cents a day +now.</p> + +<p>It is raining, and I must go to bed.</p> + +<p class="rtxhead"> Your very happy,</p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="XI" id="XI"></a>XI</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p> +<br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire.</i></p> + +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: We are +still here in Vire, and we cannot +go on for it is raining awfully. +It rained all yesterday, and we had +<i>more</i> fun. About ten in the morning an +automobile arrived with a lady Lee +knows named Mrs. Brewer and three +men, and about twelve another automobile +arrived with Clara and Emily +Kingsley and their aunt Clara Emily +and Ellsworth Grimm and Jim Freeman +and a chauffeur, and about half-past +one a runabout automobile camein with the two Tripps. We are like +a big house-party, and Mr. Peters plays +poker with Uncle every minute, so we. +can all have no end of a good time + +<p>I must explain to you about Mr. +Peters, because Lee explained to me. I +was so troubled over Mr. Peters being +so devoted to Uncle and never winning +a single jack-pot once himself that Lee +told me all about how it is. It seems +that Mr. Peters's mother was married +to Mr. Peters's father for quite a while +before he died and that Mr. Peters's +father wasn't very well off and was +very hard to live pleasantly with on account +of Mr. Stowell's father, who lived +next door and was very well off and very +easy for Mr. Peters's mother to get along +with always; Mr. Peters's father died<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span> +when Mr. Peters was about twelve years +old, and just as soon as it was perfectly +ladylike, Mr. Peters's mother married +Mr. Stowell's father and went next door +to live and had Mr. Stowell. Lee says +Mr. Stowell's father never liked Mr. +Peters much because he reminded him +of all those years that Mr. Peters's and +Mr. Stowell's mother lived next door +instead of living with him; but Lee says +Mr. Peters is very clever, and he saw how +much his father lost from not being easy +to get along with, and so he made up +his mind to be easy to get along with +himself. He gets along so well with +Mr. Stowell that they travel together +all the time, and Lee says he told him +that if he could get along well with +Uncle he'd make it well worth his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span> +while; so he's getting along beautifully +with Uncle, and Lee is making it ever +so well worth his while.</p> + +<p>Clara Kingsley has fallen in love with +one of the men who came with Mrs. +Brewer—the tall, dark one, who does +not talk much and reads German in his +room most of his time. There are so +many that I get names mixed, but Emily +Kingsley is the same as ever, and <i>such</i> a +joy to meet again. She says she doesn't +fall in love the way Clara does; she only +gets badly spattered. The two Tripps +are both devoted to Emily, and I think +they are all sort of keeping along together. +Miss Clara Emily asked after +every one in our family, even Aunt Jane. +Of course I told her that Aunt Jane had +been dead two years, and you ought to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span> +have seen her jump and look at Uncle. +She asked me if Uncle lived alone in the +house, and she looked so reflective that +I felt quite uncomfortable. I told Lee +about it, but he says Uncle must take +his chances the same as the rest of the +world when it comes to Miss Clara +Emily. I wish Lee wouldn't make +light of anything so serious as the way +Miss Clara Emily looked reflective. +You know you wouldn't like her having +all Aunt Jane's lace, and I'm sure +that after Uncle was completely married +to her, he wouldn't like it at all, either. +I don't know what Mrs. Brewer is, +but the men that came in the automobile +with her are just devoted to her, and +she makes every one have a good time. +We played cards and Consequences all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span> +the afternoon, and Mrs. Brewer told our +fortunes from tea-leaves in the evening. +She told Uncle to beware of a long, +pointed nose which she saw in his cup, +and Miss Clara Emily didn't know +whether to be mad or glad. She saw +a wedding-ring in Lee's cup, and I +blushed terribly and tried to cough, and +sneezed instead; and Lee said it was an +automobile tire, and meant a breakdown. +I do think Lee is always so +nice. But about eleven we all got a +terrible shock, for the handsome man +that Clara has fallen in love with suddenly +came to the door with his German +book in his hand and said to Mrs. +Brewer, "Come to bed, Bert. I'm +sleepy as the devil."</p> + +<p>You never saw anything like poor<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span> +Clara! I thought that she would faint, +for you know when Clara falls in love +how it goes all through her. She went +upstairs a little later, and, as luck would +have it, she had the next room to the +Brewers, and she says it just about killed +her to hear him brushing his teeth, and +I promised her I'd never tell, but she +says he called her and Emily the "Yellow +Kids" and laughed and laughed +and laughed. I do think it was very +horrid of him, for they can't help having +Mr. Kingsley's ears, and I comforted +Clara all I could, and told her that the +way she puffs her hair is ever so becoming. +It isn't a bit, but I had to be as +nice as I knew how, for she was crying +so that I was afraid Mr. Brewer would +call her <i>Cyrano de Bergerac</i>, if she didn't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span> +stop.</p> + +<p>I had the room between Uncle and the +two Tripps, and the two Tripps calculated +their money for three solid hours, +I do believe, trying to see whether +they'd have to draw on Paris behind +them or could wait for London ahead. +The big Tripp said Mr. Peters had a +hard row to hoe and the little Tripp said +Lee had a soft snap, and then they +added and subtracted and divided for +another hour. I was almost insane +when finally the little Tripp said: "Tell +me what fifteen times nine is, and then +I'll go to sleep," and someone across +the hall hollered: "In Heaven's name +tell him what fifteen times nine is, and +then we'll <i>all</i> go to sleep." There was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span> +deadly stillness after that.</p><br> + + +<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p> +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>:</p> + +<p>You see, we are still here and it is +still raining. Every one telegraphed for +mail yesterday and every one got it to-day. +I had your letters and one from +Edna and one from Mrs. Clary. They +are going on a coaching trip with the +man who wasn't a duke, and Edna has +bought three new hats. Mrs. Clary +says I am an angel and that she and +Edna think it right out of Heaven +the way Lee has turned up. I had three +letters from Mr. Edgar, and he says he +is thinking of making a trip into Brittany<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span> +and joining us. I told Lee, and +Lee says he isn't thinking anything of +the kind, not in his life. I don't really +think that Mr. Edgar and Lee would +get on very well together. I feel almost +sure that they wouldn't like each +other. Indeed, I feel quite sure.</p> + +<p>Poor Clara came to my room while +I was reading letters, and she says she is +blighted by Mr. Brewer and knows she +can never get over it. She says she +wouldn't have him know that she has +the next room and can hear every word +for anything, for she says it's perfectly +awful all she's overhearing. She says +he called Mrs. Brewer "Ladybug," and +it sounded so sweet that she cried for +fifteen minutes with the pillow around +her head to keep them from hearing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span> +her. I'm awfully sorry about Clara, +because she is always so sincere. Don't +you remember that time that she was +so sincere that they were afraid that she +would commit suicide over Cleever +Wiggins—and that awfully sincere time +she had with young Prof. Cook? She +says she could stand anything if she +could feel that she was reciprocated; but +she says she can't feel that Mr. Brewer +reciprocates one bit, for he told his +wife that he bet Clara would be an +older maid than her aunt before she got +through with life, and Clara says that's +no compliment, however you work it.</p> + +<p>When we went down-stairs, Mr. Peters +and Uncle were playing poker and +Miss Clara Emily was sitting by them +looking rapt. Heavens! I do hope it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span> +will stop raining and let us get away +soon, for Uncle told me this noon that +she was more unlike Aunt Jane than +any woman that he had seen in years. +Lee says he hopes we can get away very +soon, too; he does not like Ellsworth +Grimm. It is a pity, because Ellsworth +has grown so nice, and with his pointed +beard he is really very handsome. He +has done a beautiful sketch of me that +every one but Lee thinks is splendid, +and I'm going to send it to you when +it is finished. Uncle is very good-tempered, +and has won over a hundred and +fifty francs from Mr. Peters at poker. +Mr. Peters says he's played poker for +years without meeting such a rattling +winner as Uncle, and Uncle believes +him. The two Tripps want to go on,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span> +too, because they decided to wait for +their money at London, and they are +afraid they are going to run short. Mr. +Brewer wants to go, too, because he has +finished his German book. I think we all +want to go, because two days is a long +while to spend in Vire. Clara says if they +cannot go on in the automobile, she must +take a train, for she is getting more and +more sincere the more she is hearing +Mr. Brewer talking to his wife through +the wall. Clara says he said that he was +going to snip her nose off when they +were dressing this morning, and she says +he calls her "Puss" till Clara feels as +if she should expire in agony. She +doesn't get any sympathy from Emily, +because Emily has another room, and +Emily isn't sincere, anyhow. Emily<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span> +has thrown over the two Tripps and +taken Mr. Stowell, and thrown over +Mr. Stowell and gone back to the big +Tripp, all in just these two days. Emily +asked me if I ever saw such a fool as +Clara; she says it almost kills her to +have such a sister and such an aunt. +She asked me if I'd noticed her aunt +looking at my Uncle, and I had to say +yes. Then she said she did hope that +it would stop raining pretty soon, for +she wants to get to Granville and meet +a man and get letters from three more.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs27" id="gs27"></a> +<img src="images/gs27.png" width="300" height="295" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"Miss Clara Emily is getting +very much in earnest"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>Uncle came into my room this afternoon +noon and said the more he saw of +Europe the better he liked it, and that +Mr. Peters was the sort of friend that +was worth making. He said he had decided +to go on with them to Mont<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span> +St. Michel, because they were so urgent +that he couldn't well get out of it. +He says he hopes I won't consider that +he has changed his opinion of Lee because +he hasn't, but that he will say +this much, and that is, that the fact +that a man like Mr. Peters will call +Lee his friend proves that he must have +some good in him somewhere. Uncle +said the Kingsleys seem to be nice girls, +and then he coughed, but I didn't +say anything, so he dropped the subject. +I must tell you, though, that Miss Clara +Emily is getting very much in earnest, +and every one is noticing it, and Uncle +seems pleased.</p> + +<p>We all played cards to-day and wrote +letters and Lee told Ellsworth Grimm +he was a blank idiot under his breath.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span> +I don't know what was the trouble, +and Lee says it isn't any of my business, +but I think we are all getting cross from +being shut up so much in this little +country hotel. Elfrida and her sister +arrived about noon, but there wasn't +any spare room under two francs, and +so they went to the other hotel. Ellsworth +Grimm has gone to the other +hotel, too. He says it rains in his +ceiling and he's afraid he'll get pneumonia.</p> + +<p>It's getting awful about poor Clara +and Mr. Brewer, for he said something +about her to-day that almost killed her, +and that is so bad that she won't repeat +it to me. She says Mrs. Brewer just +shrieked with laughter over it, and told +him he was the dearest, horridest thing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span> +alive. Clara says I cannot possibly +guess the torture of being sincere over +a married man who howls with laughter +over you in the next room. She says +she can't help hearing, and she's taken +an awful cold standing with her ear to +the wall, too. Poor Clara!</p> + +<p>Emily and the big Tripp went out +and walked in the rain most all the +afternoon, and I thought she must be +very fond of him to be willing to get +so wet; but she says all she's done here +she's done to make Jim Freeman +jealous. I was so surprised when she +told me that, for Jim has spent the +entire two days with the chauffeur +under the automobile. They have +only come out to eat and sleep, and if +he is in love with Emily, he is certainly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span> +taking it easy.</p><br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>12 M. next day</i>).</p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Oh, Mama</span>, we are so tired of this +place! Clara has cried herself sick, +and her aunt sent for the doctor. Mr. +and Mrs. Brewer heard through the +wall when he came, and heard that it +was Clara, and of course they knew that +Clara must have heard them just as well +as they could hear the doctor, and they +nearly went crazy. Mrs. Brewer came +to me in a sort of mad despair and said +Mr. Brewer was almost wild. She says +she has mimicked Clara and Emily and +their aunt over and over, and she never +dreamed that the wall was so thin. She +says Mr. Brewer talks all the time he<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span> +dresses and undresses and says anything +that comes into his head. They felt +perfectly unable to face Clara again, and +it was raining so hard that they couldn't +go on, so they moved over to the other +hotel.</p><br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>2 <span class="smcap">p.m.</span> same day</i>).</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">It's</span> very funny, but it seems that the +little Tripp was dreadfully taken with +Mrs. Brewer, so the two Tripps have +moved over to the other hotel, too. Mr. +Stowell and Emily want to go, too, but +they are with parties, and cannot do as +they please. The big Tripp came +back for his soap, and said he had a fireplace +and now Uncle wants to move, +too.</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (4 <i><span class="smcap">p.m.</span> same day</i>).<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span></p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">We</span> did move, and Lee said if we +went, he was going. So he and Mr. +Peters and Mr. Stowell have come over. +So we are all here except the Kingsleys +and Jim Freeman. I had to go back +for Uncle's soap, and the little Tripp +left his pajamas, so we went back together +to get both, and poor Clara is +delirious, screaming, "Yellow kids, yellow +kids!" every minute. Every one +thinks she is thinking of shopping in +Paris, and I didn't explain; but while +we were there, Mr. Brewer came back +for their soap and heard Clara, and, as +a result, he and his wife went on in their +automobile, rain or no rain. They left +one of their men named Scott McCarthy, +and took Ellsworth Grimm. +Ellsworth wanted to go, and Scott<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span> +wanted to stay, so it happened very +nicely.</p><br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>6 <span class="smcap">p.m.</span> same day</i>).</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">They</span> have just moved Clara over +here. She had a fresh fit when she +heard Mr. Brewer getting the soap, and +Miss Clara Emily thought that a +change of scene would benefit her; so +they all moved over. Emily told me +(I walked over with Emily when she +went back to get their soap) that it +really wasn't Clara at all: it was that +her aunt wanted to keep close to my +Uncle. Isn't it awful? And Uncle +is so flattered, too! I do hope that it +will stop raining to-morrow. Lee +doesn't like Scott McCarthy, and it is +a pity, for he seems to be such a nice<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span> +man. It's terribly dull without Mrs. +Brewer, she was so lively. Mr. Peters +is beginning to look real pale, and Lee +says he ought to have a monument to +patience erected to him. Jim Freeman +is worried over the automobiles; he's +afraid something will happen to them +on account of our all changing hotels. +Wouldn't that be terrible?</p> + +<p class="center"> Lovingly,</p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Vire</i> (<i>8 <span class="smcap">a.m.</span> next day</i>).</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">p.s.</span> Just a line to say that the sun has +come out, and that we are all going on +by train, except Jim Freeman and the +chauffeur. Some one slashed all the +automobile tires last night. Isn't that +awful?</p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="XII" id="XII"></a>XII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span> + +<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN AND MONT-SAINT-MICHEL</p> +<br> +<p><span class="dropcap">"W</span><span class="smcap">ell</span>, this is a great change +from the automobile—eh, +Peters? Of all the outrageous, +heathenish actions, that cutting +of automobile tires was the worst. +Every man at that hotel ought to be +hung up and high-strung and quartered—make +an example of the whole outfit. +I must say, though, that I blame +Freeman a good deal myself. He says +he felt anxious, and yet he never had +that chauffeur set up to watch. Foolish, +very foolish; but he'll pay the +penalty, having to stay there and wait for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span> +the tires from Caen.</p> + +<p>"Lee, if you could withdraw yourself +somewhat from the window, perhaps +I could form some faint conception +of what the country looks like +to the north. If you and Yvonne want +to compare maps, I should suggest that +you sit side by side instead of holding +the map so that it completely covers +my horizon.</p> + +<p>"Well, Peters, and so here we are +off for Dol. Dol seems to be the only +way to get in or out of Brittany and it +must have been so always, for in Matilda's +tapestry she's got William and +Harold on their way to Dol as a +beginning to making things hot for the +Lord of Brittany. Very interesting +study, that tapestry, Peters. I wouldn't<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span> +have—</p> + +<p>"Stowell, I beg your pardon, but +those are my feet, and not valises, +that you are going to sleep against. I +didn't say anything as long as you took +them as they lay, but now that you +want my left foot slanting to the right, +I must protest. Suppose you end yourself +the other way for a change, anyhow.</p> + +<p>"Well, Peters, and so we are off for +Mont-Saint-Michel, bless her old heart—or +is Michel a him? I must say, +I'm deeply interested in to-day's expedition. +Wasn't some English Henry +shut up on Mont-Saint-Michel and fed +by ravens there, or something like that? +Yes; I know there's some such legend, +and now we're going to see the spot.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span> +How do we get from Dol to the mont? +By Pontorson, eh? And then diligence +the rest. Well, I must say it sounds +like quite an undertaking; but then, if +you leave the beaten path, you must +always pay the price, and I must say I +enjoy these little jaunts with a congenial +party. Too bad the Kingsleys couldn't +have continued with us. Nice people, +the Kingsleys—very interesting girls. +What did you say? Oh, yes, of course +the aunt was interesting, too; but—what +did you say? Nonsense, nonsense! +But I will say one thing, Peters, +and that is that it pays to travel around +when it brings one in contact with +people such as yourself and Miss +Kingsley.</p> + +<p>"So this is Pontorson! Do we get +down here? Is that the diligence? Do<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span> +we get up there? Great Scott! how can +we? And it looks to be about full already. +Do you mean that we have got +to climb that little ladder? I don't believe +Yvonne can. I don't believe she +ought to, even if she can. Can't we go +to Mont-Saint-Michel some other way? +Peters, I'd like to slay with my own +hands that wretch that slashed our automobile. +Will you think of the difference +he is making in our comfort these +days?</p> + +<p>"Well, Stowell, let's see you skin up +there first. Looks easy, don't it, Peters? +Lee, you go next. Now, Peters, it's +your turn. And now, Yvonne, my +child, steady, and start and keep right +on to the end. There—there—catch +her on top anywhere, Peters. Got her? +Are you all right, child? And now<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span> +for your Uncle John!</p> + +<p>"Ask him if this is a new ladder. I +don't want to take any chances with an +old ladder, you know. Well, what did +he say? Ask him if people ever do +fall or meet with any sort of accidents +going up. Well, what did he say? +Peters, this looks more serious every +minute. What do they have the thing +so high for, anyhow? I must say I +don't like going up there at all. Ask +him if he has ever known anyone to +miss their footing? Well, tell him to +keep a good grip on the ladder. Now +then, one, two,—oh, this is—confound +him! tell him to steady it—Great +Scott! Landed!</p> + +<p>"And now that I am up, tell me +how in all creation I'm ever to get<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</a></span> +down again.</p> + +<p>"Well, why don't we start? That's +the worst of Europe, Peters—no push, +no energy. Perfectly content to sit +on a diligence and stagnate. Let +me look at my watch. Eleven. +Well, I'm not at all surprised. I +wouldn't be surprised at anything that +might occur in this vicinity. I tell +you, Peters, it will be a glad day for +me when I set my foot down hard on +a New York steamer pier once more. +I can't but feel—</p> + +<p>"Ah, so we are to get under way at +last! Lumbering old concern—eh, +Peters? Great contrast to the automobile—Lee, +as there may be some one +speaking English within a mile of us, +I would suggest that you lower your<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</a></span> +voice a trifle and give the other fellow +a chance. What? I don't catch what +you say? Speaking to <i>me</i>? Who's +speaking to me? <i>You?</i> Well, what +do you want to say to me? I'm right +here to be spoken to, and from the outlook +I should fancy that I was going +to be right here for an indefinite length +of time. Well, what is it? The Brewers! +Where? Ahead there? How do you +know? Are you sure? What do you +think, Peters? Yes, that's them. +Brewer seems to be underneath the +machine. Well, what shall we do? +Wave and holler? We can't do anything +else if we want to. But they +are going to be a good deal surprised to +see us perched aloft like this. Yes; +there's Mrs. Brewer sitting on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</a></span> +bank with McCarthy and the other +man. I'd rather be the guests than +the owner when it comes to an automobile +any day.</p> + +<p>"Well, why don't you holler, Lee? +That's it—make a trumpet out of your +hands and just give it to them. Gee! +but they are surprised! Holler that we +are going to Mme. Poulard Ainé. I +suppose that they're going there, too, +anyway; no one ever goes anywhere else. +Dear me! but they're happy to have +that automobile. Lucky for them that +they went on just when they did. +There's Brewer crawling out from +under. Well, I can't stay twisted any +longer, so we'll turn our eyes once +more to the future.</p> + +<p>"What's that ant-hill out at sea? It<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</a></span> +isn't the sea, though, is it? It's land; +gray sand, I vow. And so that is Mont-Saint-Michel? +Curious. Used to be on +land, eh, and then got to be on sea? It +appears to me that we have quite a drive +before us yet. Looks to me to be three +or four miles. What do you say, +Peters? Of course I don't know, how +big the mont is, so I have nothing to +judge the distance by; but I should say +three miles at least.</p> + +<p>"Stowell, I've heard that story you +are telling ever since I was born; who +ever told you that it was new ought to +be shot. This tendency to tell old +stories is a perfect vice with some people, +Peters, and that brother of yours is forever +doing it. I've heard him tell +about calling the cabman a pig in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</a></span> +France and asking him if he was engaged +in Germany until I'm about to +the end of my patience. Great Scott! +how hot the sun is, and no matter how +gaily we lumber along, the mont looks +to be equally distant. What is this road +we're on, anyway? Seems to be a highway +in the most literal sense of the +word. Dike, eh? Built on purpose +for tourists, I suppose—the American +tourists before all, I'll bet.</p> + +<p>"Well, so that is the mont close to. +Appears to just comfortably cover up the +whole island. Curious collection of +houses and staircases topped off by a +church. However, my main care at +this moment isn't what we've come to +see, but how in thunder we're to get +down to see it. Well, the people line<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</a></span> +up pretty thick, and they have the additional +joy of knowing that every last +one of us is a tourist. That's one good +thing about America, Peters, you can +travel there without being a tourist. +You pay a stiff price for very little, but +that little's good, and the game ends +with it. Europe's entirely different: +what turns on the light over the wash-stand +turns it off over the bed, and then, +with all that, they mark light extra in +the bill. There don't seem to be any +legitimate hotel comforts here: they're +all extra. I vow, I hate to take that +hard-wood bolster out from under my +head nights, for it's the one thing I get +for nothing in every hotel.</p> + +<p>"Well, Yvonne, I think you'd better +go down first. You go next, Stowell,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</a></span> +and then you, Lee. You and I, Peters, +will wait and take our time. I vow, +I'm not very keen on this descent. +Just hold my hat, will you? Here, +you, down there, hold this ladder steady. +Peters, I—where's the next step? +Peters, you—where's the bottom? I +vow I—</p> + +<p>"Safe at last! quaint old place—old +wall with a gate in it, eh! Fishing-rods +and oars all about; when does the tide +come in? Faster than a horse can gallop, +eh? Well, that must be sad for +the horse. Anyhow, I didn't ask how +fast it came in; I asked when it would +come in next. Well, ask some one. +An hour after we leave, eh? Interesting. +But come on; let's go up to +Mme. Poulard Ainé and eat the omelet,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</a></span> +and then we can climb around some. +You walk on, Yvonne, and order the +luncheon, and Mr. Peters and I will +come leisurely after. Yes, my niece is +a pretty girl, Peters, but nothing but a +child—nothing but a child. No more +idea of worldliness than a cat has of a +cactus; a great responsibility to travel +with—a great responsibility. Between +you and me, I used to suspect young +Reynolds of paying her attention; but +when he took another ship over, and then +left Paris before we arrived, I saw my +suspicions had been wrong. I said a +thing or two about him to Yvonne, and +she took it perfectly placidly, so then I +saw that it was all off. I don't like to +run down a friend of yours, Peters,—and +I suppose he must be a friend of yours<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</a></span> +or you wouldn't have him along with +you,—but you're old enough to see +that he hasn't got the stuff in him to +make any girl happy. He's too—too—well, +I can't just express it, but I +know that you understand. It takes +peculiar attributes to make a woman +happy. Now, take me for example. +My wife and I were very happy; she +always knew just what was expected of +her, and she always did it. It followed +naturally that—</p> + +<p>"And so this is the famous omelet-place. +Well, in we go. Quaint—very +quaint. Look at the chickens turning +on the spit and dripping in a trough. +My, but they look good! Mme. Poulard +herself, isn't it? Good day, ma'am; +bon jour—bon jour. Glory, what a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</a></span> +smile, stereoscoped and illuminated! +Makes me think of the china cat's head +that we used to put a candle inside of +when I was a kid. Do we go upstairs? +Eat up there, eh? Quaint—very quaint. +Every fellow did what he pleased to +these walls, evidently. Well, Peters, +let's sit down."</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">And</span> so we now set out to climb +Mont-Saint-Michel. Picturesque flight +of steps. No, I don't mind climbing—good +exercise. Curious little winding +walk; old woman with baskets to +sell. No, we don't want any; go 'way, +go 'way. Terrible nuisance such +people. Here's another with yellow +flowers. No, no, go 'way, you—and +another with matches. No, no, go<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</a></span> +'way. Well, that's a pretty tall flight +of steps, isn't it, Peters? But I guess +we can make it. Where's Yvonne? +Ahead, eh? Well, I presume those +two fellows can look out for her. +Curious about the Brewers not turning +up; suppose he's under the automobile +yet? Wonder how Freeman is getting +on in Vire. Let's stop and look at the +view. Fine view! As I was saying, +Peters, it was too bad the way we +broke up at Vire. I really felt mean +over leaving as we did. What did you +say? Nonsense; none of that, Peters, +none of that. But I will say one thing +for her: she certainly was a woman of +great perception—always thoughtful +for others. Did you notice how she +used to push the ash-receiver toward<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</a></span> +me? It's things like that that make a +man comfortable. Astonishing that such +a woman should never marry. Well, +let's go on. Not more than ninety more +steps and two flower women to get +over. Peters, have you observed how +many stairs there are in Europe? It +fairly bristles with them. We go +pretty nearly stair-free with us, and +over here it's stairs from dawn till—</p> + +<p>"Great Scott, will you look at them! +Oh, I never can go up there, never! +We may as well go back. If you +want to, you can go up; but I couldn't +possibly see anything that would compensate +me for those steps. I'll bet +there are ten thousand, and like as not +there are more beyond. I'm going +back and sit with Mme. Poulard Ainé<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</a></span> +till it's time to go. You go on alone. +Just tell him we don't want any of +those oyster-shell pincushions first, will +you? Then you go on by yourself, +Peters, I've had enough."</p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="XIII" id="XIII"></a>XIII</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</a></span> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p> +<br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">earest Mama</span>: We are +all here together again except +the Brewers and the two +Tripps and Ellsworth Grimm. It is +very jolly, only I am so worried over +Uncle and Miss Clara Emily. Even +Mr. Peters cannot keep them apart. +Lee took Mr. Peters to his room and +talked to him seriously, and offered to +make Uncle still more worth his while; +but Mr. Peters has been agreeable so +long that he doesn't do it well any +more. He just looks silly, and Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</a></span> +says if he was us he'd let Uncle go +rip. But of course Lee isn't us, and I +know that he can't be expected to +know just how we feel. If Uncle John +marries Miss Clara Emily, I know no +one is going to like it at all.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs28" id="gs28"></a> +<img src="images/gs28.png" width="300" height="375" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">In Mont-Saint-Michel</span> +</div> + +<p>We went to Mont-Saint-Michel, and +every one but Uncle went up, and he +went seven flights up—he <i>says</i> twenty, +but I don't believe that there are more +than sixteen or seventeen in all. We +were ahead, and never knew that he had +stopped being behind, and it was so interesting +on top that I forgot I had an +uncle. There are beautiful halls and +cloisters, and then one goes down +through all sorts of horrors while the +guide tells who lived five years in this +hole and who lived twelve years under<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</a></span> +those steps. You get to have such a +contempt for people who were in +prison only one or two years over here—as +if they ought to be ashamed of only +having been in such a short time.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</a></span> +There is a ghostly, ghastly museum in +Mont-Saint-Michel where the visitors +walk through an unlighted gallery and +look in at wax victims doing different +things in a very thoughtful manner—all +but one man who walked on the sand +and was overtaken by the tide, and <i>he</i> +looks anything but thoughtful. The +best was the battle, which was very +realistic and must have been very trying +to the leaders; for how could they get +absorbed in a fight when the tide would +drown them if they kept on a minute +too long? There was a man who +thought he would escape, and dug a +way out with his nails, taking a short +life-time to the task; and then he found +he'd dug in instead of out, and, after letting +himself down with a rope, he came<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</a></span> +to a bottom all covered with skeletons. +I can assure you that I was glad we were +all together and that Lee had my arm +tight, for the scenes were awful, and I +grew so sick toward the last that when +we came down at the end and found +Uncle sitting on the ramparts with Miss +Clara Emily, I nearly screamed. They +had all come while we were above, and +Emily and some men were out walking +on the sand. Clara is somewhat better; +but I think she is even more sincere +than usual this time. In her locket +she has some plaster from the wall that +she heard through, and she says she +sleeps with it pressed to her lips. And +I <i>know</i> that Miss Clara Emily is going +to do everything in the world to get +Uncle, for Emily says she was traveling<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</a></span> +just with a little hand-satchel, and now +she insists on a suit-case. Oh, dear, I +don't know what to do; and Lee is +tired of the situation, and wants to go +yachting, and I want to go with him. +It would be so lovely off yachting with +Lee; and the yacht is anchored where +we can see her from the city walls. +Lee is forever pointing to her. He +says Mr. Stowell would let him have +her for a month, any day.</p> + +<p>We passed the Brewers on our way to +Mont-Saint-Michel, but they must have +seen the Kingsleys and gone back. +Mrs. Brewer told me in Vire that they +could never meet the Kingsleys again; +she said that Mr. Brewer said if he +should meet Clara he knew he should +explode. I don't think that Mr.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</a></span> +Brewer has much heart or he never +would have called poor Clara a Yellow +Kid; I've known Clara ever since I +was a baby, and it never struck me that +she looked like that till she told me +that Mr. Brewer said so.</p> +<p>We all took the tram-ride to Rocabey +yesterday, but one is so afraid that a +wave will wash over the car and drench +every one with spray that it isn't much +fun. The tide is so funny all along +this coast, because the coast is so level +that a foot of water covers a mile or so, +and when a wave starts to come in +there's nothing to stop it at all. I +don't think that St. Malo is very interesting, +but perhaps that is just Uncle +and Miss Clara Emily. He sends her +violets, and I know it is he, for it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</a></span> +couldn't be Mr. Peters or Mr. Stowell, +and it wouldn't be Jim Freeman or +Scott McCarthy. She wears them +pinned on in such a funny way.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs29" id="gs29"></a> +<img src="images/gs29.png" width="450" height="426" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"Uncle sitting on the +ramparts with Miss Clara Emily"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</a></span></p> +</div> +<br> + + +<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p> + +<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Edna has sent me +the letter about your coming over, and +I am so relieved. Perhaps you will +get here in time to save Uncle from +Miss Clara Emily; I do hope so. +Edna's things must be lovely, and I +read her letter to Lee. He says if +I'm good I will have some things of +my own some day, and I do hope so; +but Uncle is so heavy on my mind that +I cannot realize that I shall ever have +any life except trying to keep him from<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</a></span> +Miss Clara Emily. Mr. Peters is no +good at all any more, and has a bad cold +besides. He and Clara sit on the ramparts +and gaze at the sea, and look as if +they were two consolation prizes that +the people who won didn't care +enough about to take home with them. +Lee says he never realized that Mr. +Peters could peter out quite so completely. +Lee wants to go yachting, +and wants me to go, too, and I can't +leave Uncle, and Uncle won't leave +Miss Clara Emily. It's quite stupid +here at St. Malo, and we want to go on; +but Lee won't go on, and I'd rather +stay in a stupid place with Lee than go +anywhere without him. He's mad +over the Kingsleys tagging along, because +he likes Scott McCarthy less +and less all the time. Scott walks on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</a></span> +the other side of me sometimes, and +Lee doesn't like it. I think land is +getting on Lee's nerves, and he ought +to go yachting; but life is such a tangle +just now that I don't know what to do +about anything. Miss Clara Emily is +hemstitching a handkerchief, and I just +know that it is for Uncle. Oh, dear.</p><br> + +<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p> +<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Such an awful thing +almost happened! Clara had a nightmare, +and came near choking to death +on Mr. Brewer's plaster—the locket, +you know. Uncle says only a prompt, +efficient, quick-witted, thoroughly capable +nature like Miss Clara Emily's could +have saved her. Oh, I just know he's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</a></span> +becoming serious, and Lee says it's just +tommy-rot about the efficiency, because +all in the world that Miss Clara Emily +did was to jerk the locket up by the +chain; and she did that in such an +awfully quick way that poor Clara says +she's cured of Mr. Brewer forever. +She will have to eat soup through a +china straw for several days.</p> + +<p>Uncle wants to go to Carnac and see +the ruins of the Stone Age, and he and +Miss Clara Emily are mapping out a +trip. I'm sure I don't know what I'll +do, for Scott McCarthy has bet Mr. +Stowell ten dollars that Uncle gets +"hooked" in Carnac. Lee told me, and +Lee himself is provisioning the yacht, +and says he's cock-sure that he eats +some of those provisions aboard of her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</a></span> +himself. Emily doesn't want to go to +Carnac, and Jim Freeman says it isn't +any automobile country, on account of +the relics of the Stone Age being so +thick in the roads.</p><br> + + +<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p> +<p class="rthead"><i>St. Malo.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Why didn't you +write me that Mrs. Whalen was coming +abroad? She arrived last night on +the Jersey boat, and saw Uncle and +Miss Clara Emily on the ramparts +through her marine glasses. She hunted +us up at once, for she says that affair +must stop right where it is. She asked +if you approved of Lee, and when I +told her that you did, she said then she +had nothing to say. Lee introduced<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</a></span> +her to Mr. Peters, and she sent him +straight to bed and had them poultice +his chest and mustard-plaster his back, +for she says his cold may run into anything. +I took her up to Clara, and she +sent out for sweet oil, and stopped the +china straw, and set her to gargling. +She says it's awful the amount she +finds to do everywhere she goes, and +she was in a train accident before she +came to the steamer, and you ought to +hear how she chopped people out. The +shade in my room didn't work, and she +put a chair on a wash-stand, and fixed +it with a screw-driver that she carries +in her pocket. Jim Freeman wants her +to go under the automobile with him; +but she says since she's a widow she +never goes anywhere alone with one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</a></span> +man. Uncle and Miss Clara Emily +came in just then, and the effect was +paralyzing. Uncle turned red, and poor +Miss Clara Emily nearly sank to the +floor. Mrs. Whalen advanced toward +them as if she were a general leading a +cavalry charge afoot, and said: "Well, +so the old folks have been out sunning +themselves!" Did you ever hear of +anything more cruel? Miss Clara +Emily looked blue with rage, and said +she must go to Clara, and Mrs. Whalen +said: "John, come with me," and took +Uncle off behind some palms, and Lee +and I went away so as not to be anywhere +when he came out.</p> + +<p>We didn't come back until nearly +six, and Lee said he supposed we'd +find Uncle and Mr. Peters learning to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</a></span> +play "old maid"; but when we came +in, Uncle was reading a New York +paper about a month old, and Mrs. +Whalen had gone out with Scott +McCarthy to buy Clara a hot-water +bag. Miss Clara Emily was upstairs +packing, to take Clara to a specialist +somewhere else. Mrs. Whalen came +to my room after dinner, and said I +must rub kerosene or vaseline into my +hair every night for a month. I don't +want to, but I'm so grateful about Uncle +that I'll pour a lamp over myself if she +wants me to. Uncle came to my room +a while later and said: "Hum!" and +shook his watch, and held it to his ear. +I don't think he liked being broken up +with Miss Clara Emily, but he only +said that he was going out on the yacht<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</a></span> +to-morrow (that's to-day), and for me +to consider myself in Mrs. Whalen's +charge for the time being.</p> + +<p>He went away early this morning +with Mr. Peters and Jim Freeman and +Lee, and Mrs. Whalen and I saw the +Kingsleys off for Rennes at noon. I'm +sure Miss Clara Emily felt dreadfully +over Uncle, and Emily says she's more +than ever ashamed of having such an +aunt. Emily told me that if an Englishman +came on this afternoon's boat from +Jersey, to tell him they'd gone to Dol. +She didn't want him in Rennes, because +she knows two French officers in +Rennes. It was not a very nice day +for traveling, for there is such a wind +they won't be able to have the windows +down at all, and you know it's only<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</a></span> +fun when you have the windows down. +Mrs. Whalen says she'd have the +windows down anyway; she says she'd +like to see the Frenchman that she +wouldn't put a window down in his +face, if she felt like it. I asked her +where she was going next, and she said +she had no idea, but she thought to +Dol and Mont-Saint-Michel, as long as +she is so near. She says it was a stroke +of luck her happening here just in time +to save Uncle; she's positive he was +holding her hand through the marine +glasses. She says it's good she came +about Mr. Peters, too, not to speak of +Clara.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs30" id="gs30"></a> +<img src="images/gs30.png" width="450" height="497" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"Mrs. Whalen has just come +in to say she's going to Dol"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</a></span></p> +</div> + +<p>It keeps blowing more, and Scott +McCarthy says that they'll be out all +night. Lee will like that, and Uncle<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</a></span> +won't, and Uncle will see that Lee likes +it and then he won't like Lee. Oh, +dear! But I mustn't mind anything +as long as Miss Clara Emily is gone.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Whalen has just come in to say +that she's going to Dol, so as to see the +tide come in at Mont-Saint-Michel, +and to measure out the ginger so I can +make Mr. Peters the tea. I'm sure +I'm glad she is going, for she makes +me so tired and nervous, always hopping +up to fix something with her screw-driver, +and I want to wash the petroleum +out of my hair before Lee comes +back. He doesn't like the smell of +petroleum at all. I offered to help her +pack, but she doesn't pack. She wears +a sort of night-gown for underwaist and +petticoat together, and the front of her<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</a></span> +blouse has pockets inside for all her +toilet things. She says she washes one +garment every night, and buys a clean +handkerchief each Saturday and Wednesday, +and has a pocket for her letter of +credit sewed to her corset. I think it +is awful to be so very convenient.</p><br> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Later.</i></p> + + +<p>She went and never said a thing about +me, for it left me all alone with Scott +McCarthy, and I know Lee won't like +that at all. The mail came, and I +thought I'd better say I had a headache +and come up here to stay alone till Uncle +comes back. I had all your letters +and Edna's. Edna is so happy, and +everything goes so smooth for her and +Harry that I'm almost sorry some<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</a></span> +days that I'm Uncle's favorite. Lee +wants to tell Uncle right out and be +done with it; but I want to wait for a +favorable time, and every time that +things begin to look favorable something +unexpected happens to make him +say "Hum." It is so trying. Edna +says she's getting a lot of things twice +over so that I can have half, and she says +she thinks we ought to be coming back +so as to meet you. I can't make her +understand how helpless I am, for I +can't do anything with Uncle unless +I'm alone with him enough to make +him think that I want to do something +else. And Lee thinks it is an outrage +and says he has rights, too. I do think +that if I didn't love Lee I would be +really glad to have the world all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</a></span> +women, men are so difficult to get +along with.</p> + +<p>But, you know, no matter what I say, +I'm having a lovely time after all, and +I <i>am</i> grateful to Uncle for having +brought us.</p> + +<p class="rtxhead"> Lovingly, </p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p> + +<p>P. S. It is ten o'clock, and the yacht +never came in. If Uncle gets seasick +in a storm, he'll never want to lay +eyes on Lee again, and he'll <i>never</i> forgive +me.</p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="XIV" id="XIV"></a>XIV</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</a></span> + +<p class="center">YVONNE TO HER MOTHER</p> +<br> + +<p class="rthead"><i>Carnac.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="dropcap">D</span><span class="smcap">ear Mama</span>: I'm just about +in despair, and Lee doesn't +know where I am. We +reached Carnac last night, and Uncle +is "hum-ming" like a top, so to speak. +But I must tell you all about it.</p> + +<p>The yacht got too far out, and the +new thumb-screw, or whatever it is on +a yacht, stuck, and they blew and +pitched until they pitched on to the +Island of Jersey, where Lee and +Uncle went ashore for Lee to send a +machinist aboard. While Lee was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</a></span> +busy, Uncle just quietly went aboard +the Jersey boat and came back to St. +Malo without saying please or thank +you to a soul. He walked in on me +and told me we were to leave for Dol +the next day, and for Heaven's sake not +to remind him of Aunt Jane by asking +questions. I was dreadfully upset, but +of course I never thought for a minute +of reminding him of Aunt Jane, so I +packed that evening and left a letter +for Lee telling him please not to be +vexed. We took an early train for Dol +(it's always Dol in Brittany), and in +Dol we changed for Rennes. Of +course I thought that Uncle was chasing +Miss Clara Emily when I saw the +train marked Rennes, but I didn't dare +say a word, for he never spoke but once<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</a></span> +between Dol and Rennes, and that time +all he said was "Hum."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;"> +<a name="gs31" id="gs31"></a> +<img src="images/gs31.png" width="250" height="271" alt="A Street in Auray" title=""> +<span class="caption">A Street in Auray</span> +</div> + +<p>We reached Rennes, and I thought +we would go to a hotel; but we +changed cars again—this time for Redon. +Uncle spoke again, and asked me if I +had the Gaelic grammar handy. I +said no, and he said "Hum." Then<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</a></span> +we reached Redon and changed cars +again for Auray. Going to Auray, +Uncle asked me what became of Mrs. +Whalen, and when I told him that she +went to Mont-Saint-Michel, he said her +husband was a lucky man to be dead. +Then we came to Auray and changed +cars for Plouharnel, and I began to +wonder why we didn't run off the end +of Brittany into the sea. We reached +Plouharnel about four in the afternoon, +and took a tram for Carnac +at once, and when we reached Carnac +Uncle said to pardon the personality of +the statement, but that he never again +would try to keep up with the eternal +activity of a young person. I thought +that that was pretty hard when I didn't +even know where we were going, but I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</a></span> +didn't say anything, and when he went +to wash, I gave the waiter an extra tip +to feed us quickly. After Uncle ate, +we went out and walked around Carnac +a very little and saw all the people in +their black velvet hat-ribbons and short +jackets; but when I said they looked +picturesque, Uncle said that they looked +like darned fools, so we came home, +and now we are going to bed. I have +written Lee, but I don't know when he +will get it, because of course it will +have to go backward through all these +changes.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs32" id="gs32"></a> +<img src="images/gs32.png" width="450" height="348" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"When he went to wash I +gave the waiter an extra tip to feed us quickly"</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</a></span></p> +</div> +<br> + + + +<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p> +<p class="rthead"><i>Carnac.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Uncle woke up ever +so much better this morning, and told<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</a></span> +me that he pitied any poor wretch who +has ever been sicker than he was on +"that d——d yacht." He said, too, +that any one who could suppose for a +minute that he should have any serious +intentions toward such a woman as Miss +Clara Emily would be even more of an +utter idiot than Mrs. Whalen appeared +to be. He said, too, that the ticket-agent +who told him that Carnac was +an easy place to go to, ought to be +strangled by the first traveler who got +back alive from the effects of believing +him to be telling the truth. +He said, too, that if he survived Europe +and reached home again, he'd get in +a bathtub and know when he was well +off for one while. He said, too, that +when he had once looked around the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</a></span> +Stone Age he was going to head for +Paris with a speed which he rather +guessed would cause the natives to open +their eyes.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 300px;"> +<a name="gs33" id="gs33"></a> +<img src="images/gs33.png" width="300" height="417" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"Broke the bell-rope ordering breakfast"</span> +</div> + +<p>Then he went to his room and broke<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</a></span> +the bell-rope ordering breakfast.</p> + +<p>After breakfast we went to walk and +saw more stone walls than I ever saw +before. There isn't a wooden house or +fence in the whole of Brittany, I believe. +We walked to a tiny village +called St. Columban's, and climbed the +tower of the little church. There was +a fine view, but Uncle said he could +smell the oysters for miles around, so we +came down right off and walked back. +There was a girl who said she would +drive us all over in the afternoon, and +let us take the night train from Auray; +so we returned to the hotel and had an +early lunch, and then she came to the +door with a shaky old thing like a carry-all +and a fat little horse, and we started.</p> + +<p>Mama, you never saw anything like<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</a></span> +Uncle. Everything was wrong at first—every +living thing, and the one saving +grace of the situation was that the girl +who drove couldn't speak English. +But after a while we came to the first +menhirs, and Uncle just about went +into a fit. They are the most curious +things I ever saw, for they stand in +parallel rows miles long and every one +is resting on its little end and has been +resting on its little end for thousands of +years. At the first glance Uncle said +they were arranged so just for tourists; +but he got out and walked around them +and tried to shake one or two, and then +he said he wouldn't have missed seeing +them for the world and that he should +never regret coming to Europe as long +as he might live hereafter. He was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</a></span> +perfectly lovely for a while after that, +and we looked at dolmens and cromlechs +the whole afternoon, and sometimes +we thought they were hay-mows +when we saw them far ahead and +sometimes we thought they were +houses. We only had one unfortunate +time, and that was when we had to +ferry over the Crach. The ferry was +on the other side, and that upset Uncle +right away and he asked me if my experience +had ever led me to a ferry that +was <i>not</i> on the other side. They took +nearly half an hour to bring it across, +and Uncle said that it would be a great +day for Europe if she ever learned what +t-i-m-e spelt, and he looked at me as if +I were Europe while he said it. They +are building a bridge over the Crach,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_311" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</a></span> +and as soon as we embarked on the +rickety old ferry, it blew in between +two of the piers and wedged tight, with +us on it. Uncle asked me if I was +going to have the face to tell him that +we were not stuck and were not going +to be stuck there indefinitely, and I +really didn't know <i>what</i> to answer. +The men in the boat hollered and hauled +and swore in Gaelic, and finally we +were free for fifty feet, and then the +tide blew us in between two other +piers. Uncle said he could but feel +that being stuck twice on the same +ferry was a poor reward for a kind-hearted +man who was trying to the +best of his ability to give some species +of instructive amusement to an innocent +girl, and then he looked severely at the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</a></span> +setting sun while we came loose again +and progressed fifty feet more. A great, +thick wave came then and broke over +the horse and smashed us in so hard and +fast that I was honestly scared. Uncle +was too mad for words. He said that +he would just make one remark, and +that was that if he ever gave me a +chance to beguile him away from civilization +again he would cheerfully and +contentedly and silently end his days on +any ferry which I would choose to +designate to him. It was getting cold, +and I was so tired from yesterday that +I just shut my eyes and did not speak +at all, and when we came loose, Uncle +spoke to me quite gently and was very +nice all the rest of the way.</p> + +<p>We were too late for the train and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_313" id="Page_313">[Pg 313]</a></span> +have come back to Carnac. I feel +about done up.</p><br> + + +<p class="center">(NEXT DAY)</p> +<p class="rthead"><i>Carnac.</i></p> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Dearest Mama</span>: Lee and Edna and +Mrs. Clary are all here. Just listen. +Lee looks like a ghost, and it seems that +no one noticed Uncle go aboard that +Jersey boat because Uncle went aboard +by a gang-plank that's forbidden, and +he thought that he was drowned, and +they dragged the dock and sent down +divers, and finally came over to St. +Malo to break the news to me, having +telegraphed Mrs. Clary and Edna +to come at once. He reached St. +Malo only to find us gone, and they +have been tracing us with the automobile<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_314" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</a></span> +ever since. Lee is so glad Uncle +is alive that he keeps grabbing his hand +and shaking it and shaking it, and Uncle +says I must not mention it to Lee, for +it might go to his head, but that he is +one of the few young men who have a +heart in the right place, and that he has +always had a special fondness for him +ever since he was a baby. Lee thinks +that under the circumstances we had +better tell Uncle to-night, and we are +going to. I feel rather nervous, but +Lee says he can never stand anything +like these three days again.</p><br> + + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_315" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</a></span></p> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="gs34" id="gs34"></a> +<img src="images/gs34.png" width="450" height="331" alt="" title=""> +<span class="caption">"He told Mrs. Clary that he had +foreseen this finale to our trip all along," etc.</span> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_316" id="Page_316">[Pg 316]</a></span></p> +</div> + + +<p class="rthead"><i>Midnight of the same day.</i></p> + +<p><span class="smcap">My own dearest Mama</span>: Uncle says +yes! He says he has been carefully +scheming and planning to bring Lee<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_317" id="Page_317">[Pg 317]</a></span> +and me together for years. He says +there are traits in Lee which are so like +his own that he cannot but admit that +Lee is one of the very few men in this +world calculated to make a woman +happy. He told Mrs. Clary that he +had foreseen this finale to our trip all +along, and I do believe that he really +believes himself.</p> + +<p>The Brewers arrived about nine +o'clock to-night, and they are so delighted. +Mr. Brewer is so kind; he says +Uncle must go to Locmariaquer and +around that way with them. I reckon +he thinks I need a rest. We told them +about Clara and the locket, and I +thought that they would die. Mr. +Brewer says that never a day passes +without their remembering something<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_318" id="Page_318">[Pg 318]</a></span> +fresh which she must have overheard.</p> + +<p>I am so happy over Uncle that I +hardly know what to do. He says it +has been the pleasantest trip of his life, +this little tour with me, and that Lee +must never cease to treat me with the +tender care which he has given me all +along. He says Lee must remember +what a sensitive organization a woman +has and never indulge in temper or impatience +or strong language or sarcasm. +Lee is very nice and says "Yes, sir," +and nods every time. I do think Lee +gets nicer and nicer all the time.</p> + +<p>We start toward Paris to-morrow.</p> + +<p class="rtxhead"> Your awfully happy, </p> +<p class="rthead"> <span class="smcap">Yvonne.</span></p><br> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;"> +<h2><a name="XV" id="XV"></a>XV</h2><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_319" id="Page_319">[Pg 319]</a></span> + +<p class="center">UNCLE JOHN WELL CONTENT</p> +<br> + +<p><span class="dropcap">"W</span><span class="smcap">ell</span>, Mrs. Brewer, this is +certainly the only way to +travel, after all. Comfortable, +clean,—for if there is a smell, some other +fellow gets it,—and no jolting. And +now that I have that dear child established +and off my mind, I feel that I can +conscientiously give myself a few days of +free and easy pleasure. I've done +nothing up to now but consider Yvonne +and her needs, mental and material, and +although I love the child like my own, +still I cannot but admit that a young +girl is a great care. And of course you<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_320" id="Page_320">[Pg 320]</a></span> +never can be positive that the right man +will turn up. However, all's well +that ends well, and I'm happy to say +that I'm ending this little trip extremely +well content. Some men might +regret not having seen more, but never +me. You see, Brewer, I am one of the +easy-going, placid, serene type, and +whatever turns up suits me perfectly. I +guess if you ask my family far and wide +you won't find one member to deny +that statement, or if you do, you will +just have the kindness to let me know +who it is and I'll take steps to prevent +their ever expressing such an opinion a +second time.</p> + +<p>"Fine view here. Good road. Believe +I'll have a machine of my own when I +get back to America. What's that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_321" id="Page_321">[Pg 321]</a></span> +island off at sea? Belle-Isle, eh? Dumas' +Belle-Isle? Very interesting. +We might make a little excursion out +there, calling ourselves the Three +Mousquetaires, eh? I'll be d'Artagnan; +I always fancy d'Artdagnan. I tell +you, Brewer, something martial gets +up and stirs around in my bosom as a +result of this trip—a sort of dare-devil, +Robert-the-Devil, piratical, Crusader +sort of a thrill. I shall never be sorry +that I came. The trip has not been +one of unmitigated joy. We have +borne our crosses,—many crosses,—and +yet I will remark—and I'll swear it, +too, if you like,—that I'm glad I +came.</p> + +<p>"I've seen thoroughly every place +I've been in. I've made my niece<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_322" id="Page_322">[Pg 322]</a></span> +enjoy life, and I've made every one +else with whom I came in contact +enjoy life. I've won for her just the +one man calculated to make her happy, +and now I am headed for the one land +calculated to make me happy.</p> + +<p>"I'm glad that I came, I'm glad +that I came."</p> + +<h3>THE END.</h3> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Seeing France with Uncle John, by Anne Warner + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEEING FRANCE WITH UNCLE JOHN *** + +***** This file should be named 35574-h.htm or 35574-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/5/7/35574/ + +Produced by Hazel Batey, Suzanne Shell and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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