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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Voltaire's Romances, by François-Marie Arouet
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Voltaire's Romances
+       Complete in One Volume
+
+Author: François-Marie Arouet
+
+Release Date: March 17, 2011 [EBook #35595]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK VOLTAIRE'S ROMANCES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Andrea Ball, Christine Bell & Marc D'Hooghe
+at http://www.freeliterature.org (From images generously
+made available by Internet Archive.)
+
+
+
+
+
+VOLTAIRE'S ROMANCES
+
+TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH.
+
+_A NEW EDITION_,
+
+WITH NUMEROUS ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: M. de VOLTAIRE.]
+
+
+     I choose that a story should be founded on probability, and not
+     always resemble a dream. I desire to find nothing in it trivial or
+     extravagant; and I desire above all, that under the appearance of
+     fable there may appear some latent truth, obvious to the discerning
+     eye, though it escape the observation of the vulgar.--_Voltaire._
+
+COMPLETE IN ONE VOLUME.
+
+
+NEW YORK:
+
+PUBLISHED BY PETER ECKLER,
+
+35 FULTON STREET.
+
+1889.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Ancient writing implements, Pompeii.]
+
+
+PUBLISHER'S PREFACE
+
+
+Voltaire wrote what the people thought, and consequently his writings
+were universally read. He wittily ridiculed established abuses, and
+keenly satirized venerable absurdities. For this he was consigned to the
+Bastile, and this distinction served to increase his popularity and
+extend his influence. He was thus enabled to cope successfully with the
+papal hierarchy, and laugh at the murmurs of the Vatican. The struggle
+commenced in his youth, and continued till his death. It was a struggle
+of light against darkness--of freedom against tyranny; and it ended in
+the triumph of truth over error and of toleration over bigotry.
+
+Educated by the Jesuits, he early learned their methods, and his great
+ability enabled him to circumvent their wiles. The ceremonious
+presentation of his tragedy of _Mahomet_[1] to Pope Benedict XIV., is an
+example of his daring audacity;--his success with the "head of the
+church" shows his intellectual superiority--whilst the gracious reply of
+"his Holiness" fitly illustrates the pontiff's vanity. From priest to
+bishop, from cardinal to pope, all felt his intellectual power and all
+dreaded his merciless satire.
+
+[Illustration: Voltaire at seventy.]
+
+He was famous as poet, dramatist, historian, and philosopher. An
+experienced courtier and polished writer, he gracefully and politely
+conquered his clerical opponents, and with courteous irony overthrew his
+literary critics. From his demeanor you could not judge of his thoughts
+or intentions, and while listening to his compliments, you instinctively
+dreaded his sarcasms. But venture to approach this grand seigneur, this
+keen man of the world, this intellectual giant, and plead in favor of
+human justice--appeal to his magnanimity and love of toleration--and you
+then had no cause to question his earnestness, no reason to doubt his
+sincerity. His blood boiled, says Macaulay,[2] at the sight of cruelty
+and injustice, and in an age of religious persecution, judicial torture,
+and arbitrary imprisonment, he made manful war, with every faculty he
+possessed, on what he considered as abuses; and on many signal
+occasions, placed himself gallantly between the powerful and the
+oppressed. "When an innocent man was broken on the wheel at Toulouse,
+when a youth, guilty only of an indiscretion, was beheaded at Abbéville,
+when a brave officer, borne down by public injustice, was dragged, with
+a gag in his mouth, to die on the Place de Grêve, a voice instantly went
+forth from the banks of Lake Leman, which made itself heard from Moscow
+to Cadiz, and which sentenced the unjust judges to the contempt and
+detestation of all Europe."
+
+"None can read these stories of the horrible religious bigotry of the
+day," says Alex. A. Knox, in _The Nineteenth Century_,[3] "without
+feeling for Voltaire reverence and respect."
+
+The following extract from the above named Review will explain the
+religious cruelty to which Macaulay refers:
+
+     "Jean Calas, a Protestant, kept a small shop in Toulouse. He had a
+     scape-grace of a son, Marc Antoine by name, who hanged himself in
+     his father's shop. The poor father and mother were up stairs at the
+     time, at supper, in company with the second son. The evidence was
+     so clear that a coroner's jury at a public-house would not have
+     turned round upon it. The priests and the priest party got hold of
+     it, and turned it into a religious crime. The Protestant, or
+     Huguenot parents were charged with murdering their son for fear he
+     should turn Catholic. The body was taken to the Hôtel de Ville, and
+     then escorted by priests to the cathedral. The religious
+     orders--White Penitents and others--held solemn ceremonies for the
+     repose of Marc Antoine's soul. The churches resounded with the
+     exhortations of the priests, informing the people what evidence was
+     required to procure the condemnation of the Calas, and directing
+     them to come forward as witnesses. Upon such assumptions as these
+     horrible people could devise, the poor old man was stretched till
+     his limbs were torn out of the sockets. He was then submitted to
+     the _question extraordinaire_. This consisted in pouring water into
+     his mouth from a horn till his body was swollen to twice its size.
+     The man had been drowned a hundred times over, but he was still
+     alive. He was then carried to the scaffold and his limbs were
+     broken with an iron bar, and he was left for two hours to die. He
+     did not then die, and so the executioner strangled him at last; but
+     he died without confessing his crime. The man was innocent; he had
+     no confession to make. The poor creature by his unutterable agony
+     thus saved the lives of his wife and family, all as innocent as
+     himself. Two daughters were thrust into a convent: a son shammed
+     conversion to Catholicism and was released. The servant escaped
+     into a convent. The property of the family was confiscated. The
+     poor mother slipped away unseen. Finally, another son, who had been
+     apprenticed to a watchmaker of Nismes, escaped to Geneva. This is a
+     picture of France in the eighteenth century.
+
+     "Voltaire took poor young Calas into his family. He tried at once
+     to interest the Cardinal de Bernis, the Duc de Choiseul, and others
+     in this horrible story. He found for the widow a comfortable
+     retreat at Paris; he employed the best lawyers he could find to
+     give practical form to the business; he sent the daughters to join
+     the mother. He paid all the expenses out of his own pocket. He
+     reached the Chancellor; he made his appeal to Europe. He employed a
+     clever young advocate M. Elie de Beaumont, to conduct the cast. The
+     Queen of England, Frederick the Great, Catharine of Russia, were
+     induced by Voltaire to help the Calas.
+
+     "The case of the Sirvens was well-nigh as bad as that of the Calas.
+     Sirven lived with his wife and three daughters, all Protestants,
+     near Toulouse. The story is so illustrative of the France of the
+     eighteenth century, and of what Voltaire was about, that it
+     deserves a few lines. Sirven's housekeeper, a Roman Catholic, with
+     the assent of the Bishop of Castres, spirited away the youngest
+     daughter, and placed her in a convent of the Black Ladies with a
+     view to her conversion. She returned to her parents in a state of
+     insanity, her body covered with the marks of the whip. She never
+     recovered from the cruelties she had endured at the convent. One
+     day, when her father was absent on his professional duties, she
+     threw herself into a well, at the bottom of which she was found
+     drowned. It was obvious to the authorities that the parents had
+     murdered their child because she wished to become a Roman Catholic.
+     They most wisely did not appear, and were sentenced to be hanged
+     when they could be caught. In their flight the married daughter
+     gave premature birth to a child; and Madame Sirven died in despair.
+     It took Voltaire ten years to get this abominable sentence
+     reversed, and to turn wrong into right.
+
+     "A Protestant gentleman, M. Espinasse, had been condemned to the
+     galleys for life and his estate confiscated because he had given
+     supper and lodging to a Protestant clergyman. He served
+     twenty-three years; but in 1763 Voltaire obtained his release, and
+     ultimately obtained back for the family a portion of their
+     property.
+
+     "The Chevalier de la Barre was another victim. Some person or
+     persons unknown had hacked with a knife a wooden crucifix which
+     stood on a bridge at Abbéville over the Somme. The same night a
+     crucifix on one of the cemeteries was bespattered with mud. The
+     bishop of the place set to work to stir up excitement, praying for
+     punishment 'on those who had rendered themselves worthy of the
+     severest punishment known to the world's law.' Young De la Barre
+     was arrested. The evidence against him was that he, with certain
+     companions, had been known to pass within thirty yards of a
+     procession bearing the Sacrament without taking off their hats. It
+     was further proved in evidence that he and his friends had sung
+     certain objectionable songs, and that not only some novels had been
+     found in his rooms, but also two small volumes of Voltaire's
+     _Dictionnaire Philosophique_. On this evidence he was sentenced to
+     be subjected to the torture, ordinary and extraordinary; to have
+     his tongue torn out by the roots with pincers of iron, to have his
+     right hand cut off at the door of the principal church at
+     Abbéville, to be drawn in a cart to the market-place, and there to
+     be burned to death by a slow fire. The sentence was mitigated so
+     far that he was allowed to be beheaded before he was burned. This
+     sentence was carried out on the 1st of July, 1766. These are
+     samples of what was occurring in France. Was there not enough to
+     rouse indignation to fever-heat?
+
+     "When one reads such stories, even at this distance of time, he
+     understands the French Revolution and Voltaire."
+
+In all his writings Voltaire claimed to be religious, and was as ready
+to oppose with his sarcasms the agnostic or atheist, as the catholic. In
+speaking of Tully as a doubter, he makes Pococurante exclaim: "I once
+had some liking for his philosophical works; but when I found he
+doubted of everything, I thought I knew as much as himself, and had no
+need of a guide to learn ignorance."
+
+But while Voltaire was a Theist--as Lord Brougham says,[4] "without any
+hesitation or any intermission, a Theist"--and was a firm believer in
+the existence of a Creator and ruler of the universe,--he was also an
+avowed opponent of Catholicism; and when not engaged in the production
+of works which have added dignity to the literature of France, his life
+was passed in open warfare with the church of Rome. To this church he
+was as sincerely opposed as Martin Luther, and although his methods of
+attack and opposition differed entirely from that of the great German
+reformer, who shall say that his efforts have not proved even more
+successful? Macaulay has shown[5] that no Catholic nation has become
+Protestant since the period of the Reformation; while on the other hand,
+no nation once Protestant, has returned to Catholicism. Each party has
+retained its own territory, and the only gain has been in favor of
+religious freedom. The sincere and earnest appeals of Luther, which
+convulsed Germany, produced but little or no effect on the versatile
+mind of France. But the brilliant writings of Voltaire were welcomed by
+his countrymen, and have not been without their influence on French
+civilization. And although France has not been claimed as a protestant
+nation, yet freethinkers have there attained great power and influence,
+whilst Germany, once the stronghold of Protestantism, is now the chosen
+and hospitable home of freethought.
+
+Voltaire in his day was an acknowledged leader of public opinion. His
+thoughts engrossed the attention of the world. "Whole nations," says
+Quinet,[6] "emulously repeat every syllable that falls from his pen:"
+and the lapse of time has but confirmed the verdict of his
+cotemporaries, that of all the great reformers, his writings are the
+most useful to mankind.
+
+"If we judge of men by what they have _done_" says Lamartine,[7] "then
+Voltaire is incontestably the greatest writer of modern Europe. No one
+has caused, through the powerful influence of his genius alone, and the
+perseverance of his will, so great a commotion in the minds of men; his
+pen aroused a world, and has shaken a far mightier empire than that of
+Charlemagne, the European empire of a theocracy. His genius was not
+_force_ but _light_. Heaven had destined him not to destroy but to
+illuminate, and wherever he trod light followed him, for reason (which
+is _light_) had destined him to be first her poet, then her apostle, and
+lastly her idol."
+
+At seventeen years of age Voltaire wrote _Œdipus_, at eighty-three he
+wrote _Irène_. During the intervening years he enriched the world of
+thought with seventy volumes of irresistible humor--of brilliant and
+caustic wit,--in truth, a mine of literary gems undimmed with
+mediocrity's prosy dullness. In fact, it was this quality of humor and
+mirth that made Voltaire's writings so distasteful to his opponents--so
+welcome to mankind. Other writers, who went far beyond Voltaire, were
+not considered dangerous, because they were never read. They were
+sincere and learned, but tedious and austere. Their disbelief was
+condoned by its metaphysical obscurity--their skepticism was redeemed by
+its unmitigated dullness. But with Voltaire the case was very different.
+His writings were read and appreciated by old or young, grave or gay,
+sage or sophist, prince or peasant. To answer him was impossible--to
+abuse him was thought commendable.
+
+"Napoleon, during fifteen years," says Lamartine,[8] "paid writers who
+degrade, vilify, and deny the genius of Voltaire; he hated his name as
+_might_ must ever _hate intellect_; and so long as men yet cherished the
+memory of Voltaire--so long he felt his position was not secure." The
+church voluntarily joined in this work of aspersion. To the priests it
+was no hardship,--it was a welcome task--a labor of love. They hated the
+writings they could not answer--the genius they could not destroy.
+
+"The church," says Macaulay,[9] "made no defense, except by acts of
+power. Censures were pronounced; books were seized; insults were offered
+to the remains of infidel writers but no Bossuet, no Pascal, came forth
+to encounter Voltaire. There appeared not a single defense of the
+catholic doctrine which produced any considerable effect, or which is
+even now remembered."
+
+"His element," says Schlosser,[10] "was the lighter kind of poetry, and
+his fugitive verses, his sharp wit, his bold opinions, produced effects
+in his time, like flashes of lightning, for they illuminated at the same
+time the night of Jesuitical superstition, and struck and shivered to
+pieces the majestic towers and gothic domes of the middle ages.
+
+"The so-called fugitive pieces alone, if he had written nothing else,
+would have been sufficient to secure Voltaire's immortality; for in
+these he is altogether in his sphere; he has only to think of the people
+whom he calls exclusively the world, and he can direct every spark of
+his genius to the production of instantaneous effect, delight his reader
+by his fancy, and surprise him by his wit.
+
+"The chief aim of each one of Voltaire's small novels is the overthrow
+and refutation of some ruling opinion, and this object is admirably
+attained by the story itself, and by weaving in sarcasms, because this
+rendered all reply and refutation impossible. Seriousness could never
+have reached the readers of these novels, or would immediately weary
+them; and every attempt to rival Voltaire in a strain of pleasantry and
+satire, would have been a folly.
+
+"In _Zadig_ he shows palpably and obviously how entirely devoid of
+reason and taste the usual moral and edifying considerations upon the
+way of Providence, upon a God who thinks, counsels, acts, and conducts
+the affairs of the world as a man, must appear to the bold scoffer.
+Voltaire, we would say, confined and limited the doctrine of an
+immediate guidance of human affairs by the hand of Divine Providence,
+wholly to the church and to the faith of the people; he roofed it out of
+higher life and out of science by means of his dreadful ridicule. By his
+narratives he made that obvious, which indeed is easily made palpable
+enough, because it is undeniable, that the theory of a palpable guidance
+of human affairs by an ever-manifesting interposing Providence, may be
+just as easily refuted as proved by history and experience. In _Memnon_
+is shown, in an admirable manner, how the multitude are enamoured of
+their prudence, and laugh at nature and its feelings. In the _Ingenu_,
+the witty man yields himself up wholly to his humor and to accident, and
+brings forth a rich abundance of wit and flashes of genius with respect
+to the most various subjects."
+
+"Voltaire had the genius of criticism," says Lamartine,[11] "that power
+of raillery which withers all it overthrows. He had made human nature
+laugh at itself, had felled it low in order to raise it, had laid bare
+before it all errors, prejudices, iniquities, and crimes of ignorance;
+he had urged it to rebellion against consecrated ideas, not by the ideal
+but by sheer contempt. Destiny gave him eighty years of existence, that
+he might slowly decompose the decayed age; he had the time to combat
+against time, and when he fell he was the conqueror.
+
+"Such were the elements of the revolution in religious matters. Voltaire
+laid hold of them, at the precise moment, with that _coup d'œil_ of
+strong instinct which sees clearer than genius itself. To an age young,
+fickle, and unreflecting, he did not present reason under the form of an
+austere philosophy, but beneath the guise of a facile freedom of ideas,
+and a scoffing irony. He would not have succeeded in making his age
+think, he did succeed in making it smile. He never attacked it in front,
+nor with his face uncovered, in order that he might not set the laws in
+array against him; and to avoid the fate of Servetus, he, the modern
+Æsop, attacked under imaginary names the tyranny which he wished, to
+destroy. He concealed his hate in history, the drama, light poetry,
+romance, and even in jests. His genius was a perpetual allusion,
+comprehending all his age, but impossible to be seized on by his
+enemies. He struck, but his hand was concealed. Yet the struggle of a
+man against a priesthood, an individual against an institution, a life
+against eighteen centuries, was by no means destitute of courage.
+
+"There is an incalculable power of conviction and devotion of idea, in
+the daring of one against all. To brave at once, with no other power
+than individual reason, with no other support than conscience, human
+consideration, that cowardice of the mind, masked under respect for
+error; to dare the hatred of earth and the anathema of heaven, is the
+heroism of the writer. Voltaire was not a martyr in his body, but he
+consented to be one in his name, and devoted it during his life and
+after his death. He condemned his own ashes to be thrown to the winds,
+and not to have either an asylum or a tomb. He resigned himself even to
+lengthened exile in exchange for the liberty of a free combat. He
+isolated himself voluntarily from men, in order that their too close
+contact might not interfere with his thoughts.
+
+"At eighty years of age, feeble, and feeling his death nearly
+approaching, he several times made his preparations hastily, in order to
+go and struggle still, and die at a distance from the roof of his old
+age. The unwearied activity of his mind was never checked for a moment.
+He carried his gaiety even to genius, and under that pleasantry of his
+whole life we may perceive a grave power of perseverance and conviction.
+Such was the character of this great man. The enlightened serenity of
+his mind concealed the depth of its workings: under the joke and laugh
+his constancy of purpose was hardly sufficiently recognized. He suffered
+all with a laugh, and was willing to endure all, even in absence from
+his native land, in his lost friendships, in his refused fame, in his
+blighted name, in his memory accursed. He took all--bore all--for the
+sake of the triumph of the independence of human reason."
+
+The manners and customs of the eighteenth century differ widely from
+those of the nineteenth. Certain words and phrases that were then in
+common use are now wisely suppressed. Lecky says very truly,[12] that "a
+Roman of the age of Pliny, an Englishman of the age of Henry VIII., and
+an Englishman of our own day, would all agree in regarding humanity as a
+virtue, and its opposite as a vice; but their judgments of the acts
+which are compatible with a humane disposition would be widely
+different."
+
+The enemies of freethought have taken advantage of this fact--this
+change in modes of expression--this refinement in literature--to defame
+the memory of Voltaire. They denounce _La Pucelle_ or _The Maid of
+Orleans_ for language and expressions, formerly popular in court circles
+and sanctioned by the nobility and ladies of fashion, but which,
+happily, have now become obsolete. They judge the license of the
+eighteenth century--the license and profligacy which accompany
+ecclesiasticism and monasticism--by nineteenth century standards. If the
+same rule were applied to other writers, none would have cause to
+complain. But, unfortunately, an exception has been unjustly made in
+favor of the language employed by historians like Moses and Solomon, by
+poets like Shakspeare and Pope, by theologians like Rabelais and Swift,
+by novelists like Fielding and Smollett. In short, immodest language
+cannot be redeemed by wit, by learning, or by pretended revelation, and
+should always and invariably be suppressed; but writers should be judged
+by the manners and customs of their age, and not by modern standards.
+There are many passages in the old classic authors that were formerly
+considered in good taste, which cannot now be commended. Still, the gold
+outweighs the dross, and we should remember the laxity and
+licentiousness of the times in which those books were written.
+
+The romances and tales in this publication have been selected for their
+graceful and sprightly wit, as well as genial humor and keen satire; and
+further, because they are free from even a suspicion of impropriety.
+They each teach a lesson of wisdom and morality--they teach courage,
+fortitude and resignation, and, what is perhaps of even greater
+importance, they also tend to free the mind from the baneful errors of
+priestcraft and superstition.
+
+"The most interesting adventures are related to no sort of purpose,"
+says Voltaire in one of his essays, "if they do not convey, at the same
+time, a description of manners. And even this is but a frivolous
+amusement, if that description does not contribute to inspire us with
+sentiments of virtue. I dare assert that, from the _Henriade_ to _Zara_
+and down to the Chinese tragedy of _The Orphan of Tchao_ such was always
+the aim I proposed, and the principle that conducted me. In the history
+of the age of Louis the fourteenth, I have celebrated my king and
+country, without flattering either. In these endeavors have I spent
+above forty years. But here is the advice of a Chinese philosopher,
+whose writings are translated into Spanish, by the famous _Navarette_:
+
+"'If you write a book, show it only to your friends. Dread the public
+and your brother authors. They will embitter your expressions,
+misrepresent your meaning, and impute to you, what you never thought of.
+Calumny, which has an hundred mouths, will open them against you; and
+truth, which is silent, will remain with you.'"
+
+It has been said of Voltaire that he was "not only just, but generous in
+his dealings with others. With open purse and open heart, helpful to all
+who approached him. Collini, his secretary, said he was a miser _only of
+his time_, which was always usefully employed. But we are also told that
+there was one person to whom he could not even deny his time--it was
+Mademoiselle de Varicourt--_Belle-et-Bonne_--whom he had adopted, and
+who was afterward married to the Marquis de Villette. "She could never
+disturb him," says A.A. Knox, "not even when he was giving the last
+touches to _Irène_. If he were in a passion with anybody else, and she
+appeared in the room, he was at once gentle and calm. There is something
+very affecting in the old man's love and tenderness for this young
+girl."
+
+After the success of the French Revolution, to which the writings of
+Voltaire had so greatly contributed, when the National Assembly ordered
+the removal of his remains to the Pantheon, to repose between the ashes
+of Descartes and Mirabeau--when France honored herself in honoring the
+great philosopher--it was _Belle-et-Bonne_--in the full splendor of her
+majestic beauty--her heart overflowing with tenderness and
+gratitude--her eyes dimmed with pathetic tears--who placed with loving
+hands on the bier of her noble benefactor the wreath of filial
+affection--the grandest tribute that humanity can bestow.
+
+                                                 PETER ECKLER.
+
+     _New York, Jan. 28, 1885._
+
+
+[1] This work, says Prof. F.C. Schlosser in his _History of the
+Eighteenth Century_, (vol. ii, p. 122.) "was sent to the pope, and very
+favorably received by him; although it could not possibly escape the
+notice of the pope, that the piece was indebted for its chief effect
+upon the public, to the vehement expressions against religious
+fanaticism which it contained. The pope felt himself flattered by the
+transmission of the _Mahomet_, and notified his approbation, of which
+Voltaire cunningly enough availed himself, for the advantage of his new
+principles."
+
+[2] _Critical and Historical Essays_, page 553.
+
+[3] Vol. iv, No. 39.
+
+[4] _Men of Letters of the time of George III._
+
+[5] _Critical & Historical Essays_, p. 553.
+
+[6] _Lectures on the Romish Church._
+
+[7] _History of the Girondists_, vol. i, p. 152.
+
+[8] _History of the Girondists_, vol. i, p. 152.
+
+[9] _Critical and Historical Essays_, p. 553.
+
+[10] _History of the Eighteenth Century_, vol. i, pp. 263-269.
+
+[11] _History of the Girondists_, vol. i, pp. 15, 154, 155, 156.
+
+[12] _History of European Morals_, vol. i, page iii.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The illustrations in this work and a few notes have been added by the
+publisher. The head of Voltaire in the frontispiece is from a bust by
+Houdon, and is copied from an engraving published by Messrs. J. & H.L.
+Hunt, London, 1824. It represents the gifted author as he appeared in
+his eighty-third year. The full-length portrait of Voltaire on page iii,
+shows him in his seventieth year, and the remaining portrait, on page
+xii, gives his likeness in early manhood; it is from a French edition of
+his works published in 1746.
+
+
+[Illustration: Voltaire at thirty.]
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+THE WHITE BULL: A SATIRICAL ROMANCE.
+
+CHAPTER I. How the Princess Amasidia meets a bull.
+CHAPTER II. How the wise Mambres, formerly magician
+  of Pharoah, knew again the old woman, and was known
+  by her.
+CHAPTER III. How the beautiful Amasidia had a secret
+   conversation with a beautiful serpent.
+CHAPTER IV. How they wanted to sacrifice the bull and
+  exorcise the Princess.
+CHAPTER V. How the wise Mambres conducted himself wisely.
+CHAPTER VI. How Mambres met three prophets, and gave
+  them a good dinner.
+CHAPTER VII. How king Amasis wanted to give the White
+  Bull to be devoured by the fish of Jonah, and did not
+  do it.
+CHAPTER VIII. How the serpent told stories to the
+  Princess to comfort her.
+CHAPTER IX. How the serpent did not comfort the Princess.
+CHAPTER X. How they wanted to behead the Princess, and
+  did not do it.
+CHAPTER XI. Apotheosis of the White Bull. Triumph of the
+  wise Mambres. The seven years proclaimed by Daniel are
+  accomplished. Nebuchadnezzar resumes the human form, marries
+  the beautiful Amasidia, and ascends the throne of Babylon.
+
+
+ZADIG; OR FATE.
+
+Approbation.
+Epistle dedicatory to the Sultana Sheraa.
+
+  I. The Blind of one Eye.
+  II. The Nose.
+  III. The Dog and the Horse.
+  IV. The Envious Man.
+  V. The Generous.
+  VI. The Minister.
+  VII. The Disputes and the Audiences.
+  VIII. Jealousy.
+  IX. The Woman Beater.
+  X. Slavery.
+  XI. The Funeral Pile.
+  XII. The Supper.
+  XIII. The Rendezvous.
+  XIV. The Robber.
+  XV. The Fisherman.
+  XVI. The Basilisk.
+  XVII. The Combats.
+  XVIII. The Hermit.
+  XIX. The Enigmas.
+
+THE SAGE AND THE ATHEIST.
+
+Introduction
+
+CHAPTER I. Adventures of Johnny, a young Englishman,
+  written by Donna Las Nalgas
+CHAPTER II. Continuation of the adventures of John,
+  the young Englishman; also those of his worthy father,
+  D.D., M.P., and F.R.S.
+CHAPTER III. Summary of the controversy of the "Buts,"
+  between Mr. Freind and Don Inigo-y-Medroso, y-Comodios,
+  y-Papalamiendos, Bachelor of Salamanca
+CHAPTER IV. John returns to London and is led into
+  bad company
+CHAPTER V. They want to get John married
+CHAPTER VI. A terrible adventure
+CHAPTER VII. What happened in America
+CHAPTER VIII. Dialogue between Freind and Birton
+  on Atheism
+CHAPTER IX. On Atheism
+CHAPTER X. On Atheism
+CHAPTER XI. Return to England--John's marriage
+
+
+THE PRINCESS OF BABYLON.
+
+I. Royal contest for the hand of Formosanta
+II. The King of Babylon convenes his Council and consults
+  the Oracle
+III. Royal festival given in honor of the kingly visitors.
+  The bird converses eloquently with Formosanta
+IV. The beautiful bird is killed by the King of Egypt.
+  Formosanta begins a journey. Aldea elopes with the King
+  of Scythia
+V. Formosanta visits China and Scythia in search of
+  Amazan
+VI. The Princess continues her journey
+VII. Amazan visits Albion
+VIII. Amazan leaves Albion to visit the land of Saturn
+IX. Amazan visits Rome
+X. An unfortunate adventure in Gaul
+XI. Amazan and Formosanta become reconciled
+
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.
+
+I. National Poverty
+II. Disaster of the Man of Forty Crowns
+III. Conversation with a Geometrician
+IV. An adventure with a Carmelite
+V. Audience of the Comptroller General
+VI. The Man of Forty Crowns marries, becomes a father,
+  and discants upon the monks
+VII. On taxes paid to a foreign power
+VIII. On Proportions
+IX. A great quarrel
+X. A rascal repulsed
+XI. The good sense of Mr. Andrew
+XII. The good supper at Mr. Andrew's
+
+THE HURON; OR, PUPIL OF NATURE.
+
+I. The Huron arrives in France
+II. The Huron, called the Ingenu, acknowledged by
+  his relatives
+III. The Huron converted
+IV. The Huron baptized
+V. The Huron in love
+VI. The Huron flies to his mistress, and becomes
+  quite furious
+VII. The Huron repulses the English
+XIII. The Huron goes to Court. Sups upon the road with
+  some Huguenots
+IX. The arrival of the Huron at Versailles. His reception
+  at Court
+X. The Huron is shut up in the Bastile with a Jansenist
+XI. How the Huron discloses his genius
+XII. The Huron's sentiments upon theatrical pieces
+XIII. The beautiful Miss St. Yves goes to Versailles
+XIV. Rapid progress of the Huron's intellect
+XV. The beautiful Miss St. Yves visits M. de St. Pouange
+XVI. Miss St. Yves consults a Jesuit
+XVII. The Jesuit triumphs
+XVIII. Miss St. Yves delivers her lover and a Jansenist
+XIX. The Huron, the beautiful Miss St. Yves, and their
+  relatives, are convened
+XX. The death of the beautiful Miss St. Yves and its
+  consequences
+
+
+MICROMEGAS.
+
+I. A voyage to the planet Saturn, by a native of Sirius
+II. The conversation between Micromegas and the inhabitant
+  of Saturn
+III. The voyage of these inhabitants of other worlds
+IV. What befell them upon this our globe
+V. The travelers capture a vessel
+VI. What happened in their intercourse with men
+
+
+THE WORLD AS IT GOES
+
+THE BLACK AND THE WHITE
+
+MEMNON THE PHILOSOPHER
+
+ANDRÉ DES TOUCHES AT SIAM
+
+BABABEC
+
+
+THE STUDY OF NATURE.
+
+I. Introduction
+II. The study of Nature
+III. Good advice
+IV. Dialogue upon the soul and other topics
+
+  A CONVERSATION WITH A CHINESE
+  PLATO'S DREAM
+  PLEASURE IN HAVING NO PLEASURE
+  AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA
+  JEANNOT AND COLIN
+  THE TRAVELS OF SCARMENTADO
+  THE GOOD BRAMIN
+  THE TWO COMFORTERS
+  ANCIENT FAITH AND FABLE
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS.
+
+
+  Voltaire, by Houdon--_Frontispiece._
+  Voltaire, at seventy
+  Ancient Writing implements, from Pompeii
+  Voltaire in early manhood
+  The White Bull
+  Apis
+  Silence
+  Amasidia
+  The Witch of Endor
+  The Serpent
+  Nebuchadnezzar
+  Lot and his Family
+  Daniel, Ezekiel & Jeremiah
+  Egyptian Priests
+  Winged Bull
+  The Scape Goat
+  Caravan approaching Babylon
+  The Cup
+  Egyptian Archer
+  The Funeral Pyre
+  Oannes--The Fish God
+  Almona
+  Zadig and the Brigand
+  The Basilisk
+  Zadig and the Queen
+  Cador concealing Astarte
+  The Combats
+  The Hermit
+  Freind and his wayward Son
+  Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracurador
+  Condemned by the Inquisition
+  Epictetus the Slave
+  Grand Entrance to Palace
+  The Phœnix
+  The King of Scythia rescued from the Lion
+  The Shrine at Bassora
+  Consulting the Oracle
+  Religious Wars in Albion
+  The Old Man of the Seven Mountains
+  Kissing an Old Man's Toe
+  Gaiety and Frivolity
+  Preservers of Ancient Customs
+  Dancing a _Tambourin_
+  Clio, the Muse of History
+  The Tax Collector
+  Barefooted Carmelites
+  Entering the Convent
+  The Rack
+  The Priory Entrance
+  The Huron Identified
+  Baptism of Hercules
+  The Separation
+  The Confessional
+  Father Tout-à-tous
+  The Meeting
+  Death of Miss St. Yves
+  A Medieval Exploring Vessel
+  Micromegas captures a Ship
+  The Blank Book
+  The Spiritual Rulers of Persepolis
+  Burying the Dead in Churches
+  Good and Evil Genii
+  Young Memnon
+  Memnon and the Distressed Ninevite
+  Des Touches and Croutef
+  Boodh supported by Serpents
+  The Fakir
+  The Sphinx
+  The Study of Nature
+  The Poor Clergyman
+  Kwan-yin, Burmese, Buddha, and Chinese Ivory Figure
+  The Birth of Minerva and Eve--Androgynous Deities
+  Bacchus and Ariadne
+  Envy
+  Plato
+  Visiting Seignor Pococurante
+  The "Yawning Oysters"
+  The School at Issoire
+  Jeannot and Colin
+  Religious Emblems
+  Brama, Vishna, and Siva
+  The happy Bigot
+  The two Comforters
+  The Winged Dragon
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: The White Bull. A Satyrical Romance.--"Daniel changed a
+monarch into this bull, and I have changed this bull into a god!"]
+
+     TAURUS.
+
+
+     The object and significance of ancient Tauric and Phallic worship
+     have been clearly set forth by Dupuis, Payne Knight, and other
+     learned authors, and we have, even at the present day, a survival
+     of the ancient faith, in the Mayday festivals of India and Britain,
+     which were originally instituted to celebrate the entrance of the
+     sun into the zodiacal sign Taurus, at the vernal equinox, when the
+     god Osiris was worshiped in Egypt under the form of a bull called
+     Apis.
+
+     "The general devotion of the ancients to the worship of the BULL,"
+     says the Rev. Mr. Maurice in his learned work on the _Antiquities
+     of India_, "I have had frequent occasion to remark, and more
+     particularly in the Indian history, by their devotion to it at that
+     period 'when the Bull with his horns opened the Vernal year.' I
+     observed that all nations seem anciently to have vied with each
+     other in celebrating that blissful epoch; and that the moment the
+     sun entered the sign Taurus, were displayed the signals of triumph
+     and the incentives to passion; that memorials of the universal
+     festivity indulged at that season, are to be found in the records
+     and customs of people otherwise the most opposite in manners and
+     most remote in situation;... that the Apis, or Sacred Bull of
+     Egypt, was only the symbol of the sun in the vigor of vernal youth;
+     and that the Bull of Japan, breaking with his horn the mundane egg,
+     was evidently connected with the same bovine species of
+     superstition, founded on the mixture of astronomy and mythology."
+
+     "In many of the most ancient temples or India," says Godfrey
+     Higgins in the _Anacalypsis_, "the Bull, as an object of adoration
+     makes a most conspicuous figure. A gigantic image of one protrudes
+     from the front of the temple of _the Great Creator_, called in the
+     language of the country, Jaggernaut, in Orissa. This is the Bull of
+     the Zodiac,--the emblem of the sun when the equinox took place in
+     the first degree of the sign of the Zodiac, Taurus. In consequence
+     of the precession of the equinoxes, the sun at the vernal equinox
+     left Taurus, and took place in Aries, which it has left also for a
+     great number of years, and it now takes place in Aquarius. Thus it
+     keeps receding about one degree in seventy-two years, and about a
+     whole _sign_ in 2,160 years. M. Dupuis has demonstrated that the
+     labors of Hercules are nothing but a history of the passage of the
+     sun through the signs of the zodiac; and that Hercules is the sun
+     in Aries or the Ram, Bacchus the sun in Taurus or the Bull. The
+     adoration of the Bull of the zodiac is to be met with everywhere
+     throughout the world, in the most opposite climes. The examples of
+     it are innumerable and incontrovertable; they admit of no dispute.
+
+     "It appears from the book or history of the Exod, that it was on
+     the leaving of Egypt that Moses changed the object of adoration
+     from Taurus to Aries. It appears that the change took place on the
+     mountain of _Sin_, or Nisi, or Bacchus, which was evidently its old
+     name before Moses arrived there. The Israelites were punished for
+     adhering to the old worship, that of the Calf, in opposition to the
+     paschal Lamb, which Moses had substituted--'the Lamb which taketh
+     away the sins of the world,'--in place of the Bull or Calf which
+     took away the sins of the world.
+
+     "The planets were in later times all called by names appropriated
+     to the days of the week, which were dedicated by astrologers to the
+     gods who were typified by the Bull: Monday to the horned _Isis_;
+     Tuesday to Mercury, the same as Hermes and Osiris; Wednesday to
+     Woden, Fo, Buddha, and Surya; Thursday or Thor-day, or _Tur_, or
+     Taurus, or Bull-day, to Jove or Jupiter, who, as a Bull, stole
+     Europa; Friday was dedicated to Venus, Ashteroth or beeve-horned
+     Astarte; Saturday to Saturn, identified by Mr. Faber with Moloch
+     and the _Centaur Cronus_ or Taschter; Sunday to the Sun, everywhere
+     typified by Taurus. All these, I think, must have taken their names
+     after the entrance of the Sun into Taurus; and before this date all
+     history and even mythology fails us.
+
+     "In ancient collections we often meet with a person in the prime of
+     life killing a young bull. He is generally accompanied with a
+     number of astrological emblems. This Bull was the mediatorial
+     Mithra, slain to make atonement for, and to take away the sins of
+     the world. This was the God Bull, to whom the prayers were
+     addressed which we find in Bryant and Faber, and in which he is
+     expressly called the Mediator. This is the Bull of Persia, which
+     Sir. William Jones and Mr. Faber identify with Buddha or Mahabad.
+     The sacrifice of the Bull, which taketh away the sins of the world,
+     was succeeded by the sacrifice of the Agni or of Fire, by our
+     Indians in, comparatively speaking, modern times; it was closely
+     connected with the two principles spoken of above. While the sun
+     was in Taurus, the Bull was slain as the vicarious sacrifice; when
+     it got into Aries, the Ram or Lamb was substituted.
+
+     "M. Dupuis observes, that the lamb was a symbol or mark of
+     initiation into the Christian mysteries, a sort of proof of
+     admission into the societies of the initiated of the lamb, like the
+     private sign of the free-masons. It follows, then, that the
+     mysteries of Christ are the mysteries of the Lamb, and that the
+     mysteries of the Lamb are mysteries of the same nature as those of
+     the Mithraitic Bull to which they succeeded by the effect of the
+     precession of the equinoxes, which substituted the slain _lamb_ for
+     the slain _bull_."--E.
+
+
+[Illustration: Apis.][1]
+
+
+
+
+THE WHITE BULL.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+HOW THE PRINCESS AMASIDIA MEETS A BULL.
+
+
+The princess Amasidia, daughter of Amasis, King of Tanis in Egypt, took
+a walk upon the highway of Peluaium with the ladies of her train. She
+was sunk in deep melancholy. Tears gushed from her beautiful eyes. The
+cause of her grief was known, as well as the fears she entertained lest
+that grief should displease the king, her father. The old man, Mambres,
+ancient magician and eunuch of the Pharoahs, was beside her, and seldom
+left her. He was present at her birth. He had educated her, and taught
+her all that a fair princess was allowed to know of the sciences of
+Egypt. The mind of Amasidia equaled her beauty. Her sensibility and
+tenderness rivaled the charms of her person; and it was this sensibility
+which cost her so many tears.
+
+The princess was twenty-four years old, the magician, Mambres, about
+thirteen hundred. It was he, as every one knows, who had that famous
+dispute with Moses, in which the victory was so long doubtful between
+these two profound philosophers. If Mambres yielded, it was owing to
+the visible protection of the celestial powers, who favored his rival.
+It required gods to overcome Mambres!
+
+Amasis made him superintendent of his daughter's household, and he
+acquitted himself in this office with his usual prudence. His compassion
+was excited by the sighs of the beautiful Amasidia.
+
+"O, my lover!" said she to herself, "my young, my dear lover! O,
+greatest of conquerors, most accomplished, most beautiful of men! Almost
+seven years hast thou disappeared from the world. What God hath snatched
+thee from thy tender Amasidia? Thou art not dead. The wise Egyptian
+prophets confess this. But thou art dead to me. I am alone in the world.
+To me it is a desert. By what extraordinary prodigy hast thou abandoned
+thy throne and thy mistress?--thy throne, which was the first in the
+world--however, that is a matter of small consequence; but to abandon
+me, who adores thee! O, my dear Ne--"
+
+She was going on.
+
+"Tremble to pronounce that fatal name," said Mambres, the ancient eunuch
+and magician of the Pharoahs. "You would perhaps be discovered by some
+of the ladies of your court. They are all very much devoted to you, and
+all fair ladies certainly make it a merit to serve the noble passions of
+fair princesses. But there may be one among them indiscreet, and even
+treacherous. You know that your father, although he loves you, has sworn
+to put you to death, should you pronounce the terrible name always ready
+to escape your lips. This law is severe; but you have not been educated
+in Egyptian wisdom to be ignorant of the government of the tongue.
+Remember that Hippocrates, one of our greatest gods, has always his
+finger upon his mouth."
+
+[Illustration: Silence.]
+
+The beautiful Amasidia wept, and was silent.
+
+As she pensively advanced toward the banks of the Nile she perceived at
+a distance, under a thicket watered by the river, an old woman in a
+tattered gray garment, seated on a hillock. This old woman had beside
+her a she-ass, a dog, and a he-goat. Opposite to her was a serpent,
+which was not like the common serpents; for its eyes were mild, its
+physiognomy noble and engaging, while its skin shone with the liveliest
+and brightest colors. A huge fish, half immersed in the river, was not
+the least astonishing figure in the group; and on a neighboring tree
+were perched a raven and a pigeon. All these creatures seemed to carry
+on a very animated conversation.
+
+[Illustration: Amasidia.--"O, my lover! my young, my dear lover! O,
+greatest of conquerors, most accomplished, most beautiful of men!"]
+
+"Alas!" said the princess in a low tone, "these animals undoubtedly
+speak of their loves, and it is not so much as allowed me to mention the
+name of mine."
+
+The old woman held in her hand a slender steel chain a hundred fathoms
+long, to which was fastened a bull who fed in the meadow. This bull was
+white, perfectly well-made, plump, and at the same time agile, which is
+a thing seldom to be found. He was indeed the most beautiful specimen
+that was ever seen of his kind. Neither the bull of Pasiphæ, nor that in
+whose shape Jupiter appeared when he carried off Europa, could be
+compared to this noble animal. The charming young heifer into which Isis
+was changed, would have scarce been worthy of his company.
+
+As soon as the bull saw the princess he ran toward her with the
+swiftness of a young Arabian horse, who pricks up his ears and flies
+over the plains and rivers of the ancient Saana to approach the lovely
+consort whose image reigns in his heart. The old woman used her utmost
+efforts to restrain the bull. The serpent wanted to terrify him by its
+hissing. The dog followed him and bit his beautiful limbs. The she-ass
+crossed his way and kicked him to make him return. The great fish
+remounted the Nile and, darting himself out of the water, threatened to
+devour him. The he-goat remained immovable, apparently struck with fear.
+The raven fluttered round his head as if it wanted to tear out his eyes.
+The pigeon alone accompanied him from curiosity, and applauded him by a
+sweet murmur.
+
+So extraordinary a sight threw Mambres into serious reflections. In the
+meanwhile, the white bull, dragging after him his chain and the old
+woman, had already reached the princess, who was struck with
+astonishment and fear. He threw himself at her feet. He kissed them. He
+shed tears. He looked upon her with eyes in which there was a strange
+mixture of grief and joy. He dared not to low, lest he should terrify
+the beautiful Amasidia. He could not speak. A weak use of the voice,
+granted by Heaven to certain animals, was denied him; but all his
+actions were eloquent. The princess was delighted by him. She perceived
+that a trifling amusement could suspend for some moments even the most
+poignant grief.
+
+"Here," said she, "is a most amiable animal. I could wish much to have
+him in my stable."
+
+At these words he bull bent himself on his knees and kissed the ground.
+
+"He understands me," cried the princess. "He shows me that he wants to
+be mine. Ah, heavenly magician! ah, divine eunuch! Give me this
+consolation. Purchase this beautiful bovine. Settle the price with the
+old woman, to whom he no doubt belongs. This animal must be mine. Do not
+refuse me this innocent comfort."
+
+All the ladies joined their requests to the entreaties of the princess.
+Mambres yielded to them, and immediately went to speak to the old woman.
+
+
+[1] According to Eschenburg, Apis is the name of the ox in which Osiris
+was supposed to reside, rather than a distinct deity. The ox thus
+honored was known by certain marks; his body was all black, excepting a
+square spot of white on his forehead, and a white crescent or sort of
+half-moon on his right side; on his back was the figure of an eagle;
+under his tongue a sort of knot resembling a beetle (_cantharus_), and
+two sorts of hair upon his tail. This ox was permitted to live
+twenty-five years. His body was then embalmed, placed in a chest, and
+buried with many solemnities. A season of mourning then followed, until
+a new Apis, or ox properly marked, was discovered.--E.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+HOW THE WISE MAMBRES, FORMERLY MAGICIAN OF PHAROAH, KNEW AGAIN THE OLD
+WOMAN, AND WAS KNOWN BY HER.
+
+
+"Madam," said Mambres to her, "you know that ladies, and particularly
+princesses, have need of amusement. The daughter of the king is
+distractedly fond of your bull. I beg that you will sell him to us. You
+shall be paid in ready money."
+
+"Sir," answered the old woman, "this precious animal does not belong to
+me. I am charged, together with all the beasts which you see, to keep
+him with care, to watch all his motions, and to give an exact account of
+them. God forbid that I should ever have any inclination to sell this
+invaluable animal."
+
+[Illustration: The remarkable witch of Endor.--"What, is it indeed you,"
+cried Mambres, "who are so famous upon the banks of your little Jordan,
+and the first person in the world for raising apparitions?"]
+
+Mambres, upon this discourse, began to have a confused remembrance of
+something which he could not yet properly distinguish. He eyed the old
+woman in the gray cloak with greater attention.
+
+"Respectable lady," said he to her, "I either mistake, or I have seen
+you formerly."
+
+"I make no mistake, sir," replied the old woman. "I have seen you seven
+hundred years ago, in a journey which I made from Syria into Egypt some
+months after the destruction of Troy, when Hiram the second reigned at
+Tyre, and Nephel Keres in ancient Egypt."
+
+"Ah! madam," cried the old man, "you are the remarkable witch of Endor."
+
+"And you, sir," said the sorceress, embracing him, "are the great
+Mambres of Egypt."
+
+"O, unforeseen meeting! memorable day! eternal decrees!" said Mambres.
+"It certainly is not without permission of the universal providence that
+we meet again in this meadow upon the banks of the Nile near the noble
+city of Tanis. What, is it indeed you," continued Mambres, "who are so
+famous upon the banks of your little Jordan, and the first person in the
+world for raising apparitions?"
+
+"What, is it you, sir," replied Miss Endor, "who are so famous for
+changing rods into serpents, the day into darkness, and rivers into
+blood?"
+
+"Yes, madam, but my great age has in part deprived me of my knowledge
+and power. I am ignorant from whence you have this beautiful bull, and
+who these animals are that, together with you, watch round him."
+
+The old woman, recollecting herself, raised her eyes to heaven, and then
+replied.
+
+"My dear Mambres. We are of the same profession, but it is expressly
+forbidden me to tell you who this bull is. I can satisfy you with regard
+to the other animals. You will easily know them by the marks which
+characterize them. The serpent is that which persuaded Eve to eat an
+apple, and to make her husband partake of it. The ass, that which spoke
+to your contemporary, Balaam, in a remarkable discourse. The fish, which
+always carries its head above water, is that which swallowed Jonah a few
+years ago. The dog is he who followed Raphael and the young Tobit in
+their journey to Ragusa in Media, in the time of the great Salamanzar.
+This goat is he who expiates all the sins of your nation. The raven and
+the pigeon, those which were in the ark of Noah. Great event! universal
+catastrophe! of which almost all the world is still ignorant. You are
+now informed. But of the bull you can know nothing."
+
+Mambres, having listened with respect, said:
+
+"The Eternal, O illustrious witch! reveals and conceals what he thinks
+proper. All these animals who, together with you, are entrusted with the
+custody of the white bull, are only known to your generous and agreeable
+nation, which is itself unknown to almost all the world. The miracles
+which you and yours, I and mine, have performed, shall one day be a
+great subject of doubt and scandal to inquisitive philosophers. But
+happily these miracles shall find belief with the devout sages, who
+shall prove submissive to the enlightened in one corner of the world;
+and this is all that is necessary."
+
+As he spoke these words, the princess pulled him by the sleeve, and said
+to him,--
+
+"Mambres, will you not buy my bull?"
+
+The magician, plunged into a deep reverie, made no reply, and Amasidia
+poured forth her tears.
+
+She then addressed herself to the old woman.
+
+"My good woman," said she, "I conjure you, by all you hold most dear in
+the world, by your father, by your mother, by your nurse, who are
+certainly still alive, to sell me not only your bull, but likewise your
+pigeon, which seems very much attached to him.
+
+"As for the other animals, I do not want them; but I shall catch the
+vapors if you do not sell me this charming bull, who will be all the
+happiness of my life."
+
+The old woman respectfully kissed the fringe of her gauze robe, and
+replied,--
+
+"Princess, my bull is not to be sold. Your illustrious magician is
+acquainted with this. All that I can do for your service is, to permit
+him to feed every day near your palace. You may caress him, give him
+biscuits, and make him dance about at your pleasure; but he must always
+be under the eyes of all these animals who accompany me, and who are
+charged with the keeping of him. If he does not endeavor to escape from
+them, they will prove peaceable; but if he attempt once more to break
+his chain, as he did upon seeing you, woe be unto him. I would not then
+answer for his life. This large fish, which you see, will certainly
+swallow him, and keep him longer than _three_ days in his belly; or this
+serpent, who appears to you so mild, will give him a mortal sting."
+
+The white bull, who understood perfectly the old woman's conversation,
+but was unable to speak, humbly accepted all the proposals. He laid
+himself down at her feet; he lowed softly, and, looking tenderly at
+Amasidia, seemed to say to her,
+
+"Come and see me sometimes upon the lawn."
+
+The serpent now took up the conversation:
+
+"Princess," said he, "I advise you to act implicitly, as mademoiselle of
+Endor has told you."
+
+The she-ass likewise put in her word, and was of the opinion of the
+serpent.
+
+Amasidia was afflicted that this serpent and this ass should speak so
+well; while a beautiful bull, who had such noble and tender sentiments,
+was unable to express them.
+
+"Alas," said she, in a low voice, "nothing is more common at court. One
+sees there every day fine lords who cannot converse, and contemptible
+wretches who speak with assurance."
+
+"This serpent," said Mambres, "is not a contemptible wretch. He is
+perhaps the personage of the greatest importance."
+
+The day now declined, and the princess was obliged to return home, after
+having promised to come back next day at the same hour. Her ladies of
+the palace were astonished, and understood nothing of what they had seen
+or heard. Mambres made reflections. The princess recollecting that the
+serpent called the old woman Miss, concluded at random that she was
+still unmarried, and felt some affliction that such was also her own
+condition. Respectable affliction! which she concealed, however, with as
+much care as the name of her lover.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+HOW THE BEAUTIFUL AMASIDIA HAD A SECRET CONVERSATION WITH A BEAUTIFUL
+SERPENT.
+
+
+The beautiful princess recommended secrecy to her ladies with regard to
+what they had seen. They all promised it, and kept their promise for a
+whole day.
+
+We may believe that Amasidia slept little that night. An inexplicable
+charm continually recalled the idea of her beautiful bull. As soon,
+therefore, as she was at freedom with her wise Mambres, she said to him:
+
+"O, sage! this animal turns my head."
+
+"He employs mine very much," said Mambres. "I see plainly that this
+bovine is very much superior to those of his species. I see that there
+is a great mystery, and I suspect a fatal event. Your father Amasis is
+suspicious and violent; and this affair requires that you conduct
+yourself with the greatest precaution."
+
+"Ah!" said the princess, "I have too much curiosity to be prudent. It is
+the only sentiment which can unite in my heart with that which preys
+upon me on account of the lover I have lost. Can I not know who this
+white bull is that gives me such strange disquiet?"
+
+Mambres replied,--
+
+"I have already confessed to you, frankly, that my knowledge declines in
+proportion as my age advances; but I mistake much if the serpent is not
+informed of what you are so very desirous of knowing. He does not want
+sense. He expresses himself with propriety. He has been long accustomed
+to interfere in the affairs of the ladies."
+
+"Ah! undoubtedly," said Amasidia, "this is the beautiful serpent of
+Egypt, who, by fixing his tail into his mouth, becomes the emblem of
+eternity; who enlightens the world when he opens his eyes, and darkens
+it when he shuts them?"
+
+"No, Miss."
+
+"It is then the serpent of Æsculapius?"
+
+"Still less."
+
+"It is perhaps Jupiter under the figure of a serpent?"
+
+"Not at all."
+
+"Ah, now I see, I see. It is the rod which you formerly changed into a
+serpent?"
+
+"No, indeed, it is not; but all these serpents are of the same family.
+This one has a very high character in his own country. He passes there
+for the most extraordinary serpent that was ever seen. Address yourself
+to him. However, I warn you it is a dangerous undertaking. Were I in
+your place, I would hardly trouble myself either with the bull, the
+she-ass, the he-goat, the serpent, the fish, the raven, or the pigeon.
+But passion hurries you on; and all I can do is to pity you, and
+tremble."
+
+The princess conjured him to procure her a tête-à-tête with the serpent.
+Mambres, who was obliging, consented, and making profound reflections,
+he went and communicated to the witch in so insinuating a manner the
+whim of the princess, that the old woman told him Amasidia might lay her
+commands upon her; that the serpent was perfectly well bred, and so
+polite to the ladies, that he wished for nothing more than to oblige
+them, and would not fail to keep the princess's appointment.
+
+The ancient magician returned to inform the princess of this good news;
+but he still dreaded some misfortune, and made reflections.
+
+"You desire to speak with the serpent, mademoiselle. This you may
+accomplish whenever your highness thinks proper. But remember you must
+flatter him; for every animal has a great deal of self-love, and the
+serpent in particular. It is said he was formerly driven out of heaven
+for excessive pride."
+
+"I have never heard of it," replied the princess.
+
+"I believe it," said the old man.
+
+He then informed her of all the reports which had been spread about this
+famous serpent.
+
+"But, my dear princess, whatever singular adventures may have happened
+to him, you never can extort these secrets from him but by flattery.
+Having formerly deceived women, it is equitable that a woman in her turn
+should deceive him."
+
+"I will do my utmost," said the princess; and departed with her maids of
+honor. The old woman was feeding the bull at a considerable distance.
+
+Mambres left Amasidia to herself, and went and discoursed with the
+witch. One lady of honor chatted with the she-ass, the others amused
+themselves with the goat, the dog, the raven, and the pigeon. As for the
+large fish that frightened every body, he plunged himself into the Nile
+by order of the old woman.
+
+The serpent then attended the beautiful Amasidia into the grove, where
+they had the following conversation.
+
+SERPENT.--You cannot imagine, mademoiselle, how much I am flattered with
+the honor which your highness deigns to confer upon me.
+
+PRINCESS.--Your great reputation, sir, the beauty of your countenance,
+and the brilliancy of your eyes, have emboldened me to seek for this
+conversation. I know by public report (if it be not false) that you were
+formerly a very great lord in the empyrean heaven.
+
+SERPENT.--It is true, miss, I had there a very distinguished place. It
+is pretended I am a disgraced favorite. This is a report which once went
+abroad in India. The Brahmins were the first who gave a history of my
+adventures. And I doubt not but one day or other the poets of the north
+will make them the subject of an extravagant epic poem;[1] for in truth
+it is all that can be made of them. Yet I am not so much fallen, but
+that I have left in this globe a very extensive dominion. I might
+venture to assert that the whole earth belongs to me.
+
+PRINCESS.--I believe it; for they tell me that your powers of persuasion
+are irresistible, and to please is to reign.
+
+SERPENT.--I feel, mademoiselle, while I behold and listen to you, that
+you have over me the same power which you ascribe to me over so many
+others.
+
+PRINCESS.--You are, I believe, an amiable conqueror. It is said that
+your conquests among the fair sex have been numerous, and that you began
+with our common mother, whose name I have unfortunately forgotten.
+
+SERPENT.--They do me injustice. She honored me with her confidence, and
+I gave her the best advice. I desired that she and her husband should
+eat heartily of the fruit of the tree of knowledge. I imagined in doing
+this that I should please the ruler of all things. It seemed to me that
+a tree so necessary to the human race was not planted to be entirely
+useless. Would the supreme being have wished to have been served by
+fools and idiots? Is not the mind formed for the acquisition of
+knowledge and for improvement? Is not the knowledge of good and evil
+necessary for doing the one and avoiding the other? I certainly merited
+their thanks.
+
+PRINCESS.--Yet, they tell me that you have suffered for it. Probably it
+is since this period that so many ministers have been punished for
+giving good advice, and so many real philosophers and men of genius
+persecuted for their writings that were useful to mankind.
+
+SERPENT.--It is my enemies who have told you these stories. They say
+that I am out of favor at court. But a proof that my influence there has
+not declined, is their own confession that I entered into the council
+when it was in agitation to try the good man Job; and I was again called
+upon when the resolution was taken to deceive a certain petty king
+called Ahab. I alone was charged with this honorable commission.
+
+PRINCESS.--Ah, sir! I do not believe that you are formed to deceive. But
+since you are always in the ministry, may I beg a favor of you? I hope
+so amiable a lord will not deny me.
+
+SERPENT.--Mademoiselle, your requests are laws; name your commands.
+
+PRINCESS.--I intreat that you will tell me who this white bull is, for
+whom I feel such extraordinary sentiments, which both affect and alarm
+me. I am told that you would deign to inform me.
+
+SERPENT.--Curiosity is necessary to human nature, and especially to your
+amiable sex. Without it they would live in the most shameful ignorance.
+I have always satisfied, as far as lay in my power, the curiosity of the
+ladies. I am accused indeed of using this complaisance only to vex the
+ruler of the world. I swear to you, that I could propose nothing more
+agreeable to myself than to obey you; but the old woman must have
+informed you that the revealing of this secret will be attended with
+some danger to you.
+
+PRINCESS.--Ah! it is that which makes me still more curious.
+
+SERPENT.--In this I discover the sex to whom I have formerly done
+service.
+
+PRINCESS.--If you possess any feeling; if rational beings should
+mutually assist each other; if you have compassion for an unfortunate
+creature, do not refuse my request.
+
+SERPENT.--You affect me. I must satisfy you; but do not interrupt me.
+
+PRINCESS.--I promise you I will not.
+
+SERPENT.--There was a young king, beautiful, charming, in love,
+beloved--
+
+PRINCESS.--A young king! beautiful, charming, in love, beloved! And by
+whom? And who was this king? How old was he? What has become of him?
+Where is his kingdom? What is his name?
+
+SERPENT.--See, I have scarce begun, and you have already interrupted me.
+Take care. If you have not more command over yourself, you are undone.
+
+PRINCESS.--Ah, pardon me, sir. I will not repeat my indiscretion. Go on,
+I beseech you.
+
+SERPENT.--This great king, the most valiant of men, victorious wherever
+he carried his arms, often dreamed when asleep, and forgot his dreams
+when awake. He wanted his magicians to remember and inform him what he
+had dreamed, otherwise he declared he would hang them; for that nothing
+was more equitable. It is now near seven years since he dreamed a fine
+dream, which he entirely forgot when he awoke; and a young Jew, full of
+experience, having revealed it to him, this amiable king was immediately
+changed into an ox for--
+
+PRINCESS.--Ah! it is my dear Neb----
+
+She could not finish, she fainted away. Mambres, who listened at a
+distance, saw her fall, and believed her dead.
+
+[Illustration: Serpent.]
+
+[1] A prophetic reference by the serpent to Milton's _Paradise
+Lost_.--E.
+
+[Illustration: Nebuchadnezzar.--Nebuchadnezzar, transformed into a white
+bull, is recognized by Amasidia.]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+HOW THEY WANTED TO SACRIFICE THE BULL, AND EXORCISE THE PRINCESS.
+
+
+Mambres runs to her weeping. The serpent is affected. He, alas, cannot
+weep; but he hisses in a mournful tone. He cries out, "She is dead." The
+ass repeats, "She is dead." The raven tells it over again. All the other
+animals appeared afflicted, except the fish of Jonah, which has always
+been merciless. The lady of honor, the ladies of the court, arrive and
+tear their hair. The white bull, who fed at a distance and heard their
+cries, ran to the grove dragging the old woman after him, while his loud
+bellowings made the neighboring echoes resound. To no purpose did the
+ladies pour upon the expiring Amasidia their bottles of rose-water, of
+pink, of myrtle, of benzoin, of balm of Gilead, of amomum, of
+gilly-flower, of nutmeg, of ambergris. She had not as yet given the
+smallest signs of life. But as soon as she perceived that the beautiful
+white bull was beside her, she came to herself, more blooming, more
+beautiful and lively than ever. A thousand times did she kiss this
+charming animal, who languishingly leaned his head on her snowy bosom.
+She called him, "My master, my king, my dear, my life!" She throws her
+fair arms around his neck, which was whiter than the snow. The light
+straw does not adhere more closely to the amber, the vine to the elm,
+nor the ivy to the oak. The sweet murmur of her sighs was heard. Her
+eyes were seen, now sparkling with a tender flame, and now obscured by
+those precious tears which love makes us shed.
+
+We may easily judge into what astonishment the lady of honor and ladies
+of her train were thrown. As soon as they entered the palace, they
+related to their lovers this extraordinary adventure, and every one with
+different circumstances, which increased its singularity, and which
+always contributes to the variety of all histories.
+
+No sooner was Amasis, king of Tanis, informed of these events, than his
+royal breast was inflamed with just indignation. Such was the wrath of
+Minos, when he understood that his daughter Pasiphæ lavished her tender
+favors upon the father of the Minotaur. Thus raged Juno, when she beheld
+Jupiter caressing the beautiful cow Io, daughter of the river Inachus.
+Following the dictates of passion, the stern Amasis imprisoned his
+unhappy daughter, the beautiful Amasidia, in her chamber and placed over
+her a guard of black eunuchs. He then assembled his privy council.
+
+The grand magician presided there, but had no longer the same influence
+as formerly. All the ministers of state concluded that this white bull
+was a sorcerer. It was quite the contrary. He was bewitched. But in
+delicate affairs they are always mistaken at court.
+
+It was carried by a great majority that the princess should be
+exorcised, and the old woman and the bull sacrificed.
+
+The wise Mambres contradicted not the opinion of the king and council.
+The right of exorcising belonged to him. He could delay it under some
+plausible pretence. The god Apis had lately died at Memphis. A god ox
+dies just like another ox. And it was not allowed to exorcise any person
+in Egypt until a new ox was found to replace the deceased.
+
+It was decreed in the council to wait until the nomination should be
+made of a new god at Memphis.
+
+The good old man, Mambres, perceived to what danger his dear princess
+was exposed. He knew who her lover was. The syllables NEBU----, which
+had escaped her, laid open the whole mystery to the eyes of this sage.
+
+The dynasty of Memphis belonged at that time to the Babylonians. They
+preserved this remainder of the conquests they had gained under the
+greatest king of the world, to whom Amasis was a mortal enemy. Mambres
+had occasion for all his wisdom to conduct himself properly in the midst
+of so many difficulties. If the king Amasis should discover the lover of
+his daughter, her death would be inevitable. He had sworn it. The great,
+the young, the beautiful king of whom she was enamored, had dethroned
+the king her father, and Amasis had only recovered his kingdom about
+seven years. From that time it was not known what had become of the
+adorable monarch--the conqueror and idol of the nations--the tender and
+generous lover of the charming Amasidia. Sacrificing the white bull
+would eventually occasion the death of the beautiful princess.
+
+[Illustration: Lot and his wayward daughters leaving Sodom.--From a
+celebrated picture in S. Marks, Florence, by Domenico Cresti, named il
+Passigiano.]
+
+
+
+     DESTRUCTION OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH.
+
+     A STRANGE METAMORPHOSIS.
+
+
+     In the preceding engraving the artist has pictured the "Cities of
+     the Plain" in flames, ignited by a shower of "fire and brimstone
+     out of heaven." Warned by an angel, Lot and his family are fleeing
+     from the conflagration. The madame has, however, unfortunately
+     changed her mind, and is seen returning toward the doomed locality.
+     She dearly loves her home, and braves danger--even death--in its
+     protection. Her husband and her children heartlessly forsake her.
+     Lot does not look like the coward he is represented to have been,
+     who basely offered to surrender his daughters to the horrible abuse
+     of a Sodomite mob; and the daughters--innocent and beautiful--seem
+     incapable of the depravity with which they are charged in the
+     nineteenth chapter of Genesis.
+
+     The comical statement that Madame Lot was transformed into "a
+     pillar of salt" for merely _looking back_ toward her old home in
+     Sodom, rests on bible authority, and is believed by all the world
+     excepting intelligent clergymen, scientists, philosophers and
+     reasonable people.
+
+     The assertion of Mambres, (page 15), that this estimable "pillar"
+     has become "very sharp tasted," rests on the authority of certain
+     eastern travelers who claim to have examined and tasted the saline
+     remains of this unfortunate female. But as this last claim is based
+     on a French romance and not on Hebrew revelation, readers may be
+     pardoned for receiving it with the greatest caution. Indeed, all
+     that is absolutely necessary for even the orthodox to believe is
+     that, "once upon a time," a Sodomite matron was chemically changed
+     into pure chloride of sodium, and not that said sodium still
+     retains its sharp and acrid flavor.--E.
+
+What could Mambres do in such critical circumstances? He went, after the
+council had broken up, to find his dear foster daughter.
+
+"My dear child," he says, "I will serve you; but I repeat it, they will
+behead you if ever you pronounce the name of your lover."
+
+"Ah! what signifies my neck," replied the beautiful Amasidia, "if I
+cannot embrace that of Nebu--? My father is a cruel man. He not only
+refuses to give me a charming prince whom I adore, but he declares war
+against him; and after he was conquered by my lover, he has found the
+secret of changing him into an ox. Did one ever see more frightful
+malice? If my father were not my father, I do not know what I should do
+to him."
+
+"It was not your father who played him this cruel trick," said the wise
+Mambres. "It was a native of Palestine, one of our ancient enemies, an
+inhabitant of a little country comprehended in that crowd of kingdoms
+which your lover subdued in order to polish and refine them.
+
+"Such metamorphoses must not surprise you. You know that formerly I
+performed more extraordinary. Nothing was at that time more common than
+those changes which at present astonish philosophers. True history,
+which we have read together, informs us that Lycaon, king of Arcadia,
+was changed into a wolf; the beautiful Calista, his daughter, into a
+bear; Io, the daughter of Inachus, our venerable Isis, into a cow;
+Daphne into a laurel; Sirinx into a flute; the fair Edith, wife of
+Lot--the best and most affectionate husband and father ever known in the
+world--has she not become, in our neighborhood, a pillar of salt, very
+sharp tasted, which has preserved both her likeness and form, as the
+great men attest who have seen it? I was witness to this change in my
+youth. I saw seven powerful cities in the most dry and parched situation
+in the world, all at once transformed into a beautiful lake. In the
+early part of my life, the whole world was full of metamorphoses.
+
+"In fine, madam, if examples can soothe your grief, remember that Venus
+changed Cerastes into an ox."
+
+"I do not know," said the princess, "that examples comfort us. If my
+lover were dead, could I comfort myself by the idea that all men die?"
+
+"Your pain may at least be alleviated," replied the sage; "and since
+your lover has become an ox, it is possible from an ox he may become a
+man. As for me, I should deserve to be changed into a tiger or a
+crocodile, if I did not employ the little power I have in the service of
+a princess worthy of the adoration of the world,--if I did not labor for
+the beautiful Amasidia, whom I have nursed upon my knees, and whom fatal
+destiny exposes to such rude trials."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+HOW THE WISE MAMBRES CONDUCTED HIMSELF WISELY.
+
+
+The sage Mambres having said every thing he could to comfort the
+princess, but without succeeding in so doing, ran to the old woman.
+
+"My companion," said he to her, "ours is a charming profession, but a
+very dangerous one. You run the risk of being hanged, and your ox of
+being burned, drowned or devoured, I don't know what they will do with
+your other animals; for, prophet as I am, I know very little; but do you
+carefully conceal the serpent, and the fish. Let not the one show his
+head above water, nor the other venture out of his hole. I will place
+the ox in one of my stables in the country. You shall be there with him,
+since you say that you are not allowed to abandon him. The good
+scape-goat may upon this occasion serve as an expiation. We will send
+him into the desert loaded with the sins of all the rest. He is
+accustomed to this ceremony, which does him no harm; and every one knows
+that sin is expiated by means of a he-goat, who walks about for his own
+amusement. I only beg of you to lend me immediately Tobit's dog, who is
+a very swift greyhound; Balaam's ass, who runs better than a dromedary;
+the raven and the pigeon of the ark, who fly with amazing swiftness. I
+want to send them on an embassy to Memphis. It is an affair of great
+consequence."
+
+The old woman replied to the magician:
+
+"You may dispose as you please of Tobit's dog,[1] of Balaam's ass, of
+the raven and the pigeon of the ark, and of the scape-goat; but my ox
+cannot enter into a stable. It is said, Daniel, v:21,--That he must be
+always made fast to an iron chain, be always wet with the dew of heaven,
+and eat the grass of the field, and his portion be with the wild beasts.
+
+"He is entrusted to me, and I must obey. What would Daniel, Ezekiel, and
+Jeremiah, think of me, if I trusted my ox to any other than to myself? I
+see you know the secret of this extraordinary animal, but I have not to
+reproach myself with having revealed it to you. I am going to conduct
+him far from this polluted land, toward the lake Sirbon, where he will
+be sheltered from the cruelties of the king of Tanis. My fish and my
+serpent will defend me. I fear nobody when I serve my master."
+
+"My good woman," answered the wise Mambres, "let the will of God be
+done! Provided I can find your white bull again, the lake Sirbon, the
+lake Maris, or the lake of Sodom, are to me perfectly indifferent. I
+want to do nothing but good to him and to you. But why have you spoken
+to me of Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah?"
+
+"Ah! sir," answered the old woman, "you know as well as I what concern
+they have in this important affair. But I have no time to lose. I don't
+desire to be hanged. I want not that my bull should be burned, drowned,
+or devoured. I go to the lake Sirbon by Canopus, with my serpent and my
+fish. Adieu."
+
+The bull followed her pensively, after having testified his gratitude to
+the beneficent Mambres.
+
+The wise Mambres was greatly troubled. He saw that Amasis, king of
+Tanis, distracted by the strange passion of his daughter for this
+animal, and believing her bewitched, would pursue everywhere the
+unfortunate bull, who would infallibly be burned as a sorcerer in the
+public place of Tanis, or given to the fish of Jonah, or be roasted and
+served up for food. Mambres wanted at all events to save the princess
+from this cruel disaster.
+
+He wrote a letter in sacred characters, to his friend, the high priest
+of Memphis, upon the paper of Egypt, which was not yet in use. Here are
+the identical words of this letter:
+
+     "Light of the world, lieutenant of Isis, Osiris, and Horus, chief
+     of the circumcised, you whose altar is justly raised above all
+     thrones! I am informed that your god, the ox Apis, is dead. I have
+     one at your service. Come quickly with your priests to acknowledge,
+     to worship him, and to conduct him into the stable of your temple.
+     May Isis, Osiris, and Horus, keep you in their holy and worthy
+     protection, and likewise the priests of Memphis in their holy care.
+
+                                   Your affectionate friend,
+                                                   Mambres."
+
+
+He made four copies of this letter for fear of accidents, and enclosed
+them in cases of the hardest ebony. Then calling to him his four
+couriers, whom he had destined for this employment, (these were the ass,
+the dog, the raven, and the pigeon,) he said to the ass:
+
+"I know with what fidelity you served Balaam my brother. Serve me as
+faithfully. There is not an unicorn who equals you in swiftness. Go, my
+dear friend, and deliver this letter to the person himself to whom it is
+directed, and return."
+
+The ass answered:
+
+"Sir, as I served Balaam, I will serve you. I will go, and I will
+return."
+
+The sage put the box of ebony into her mouth, and she swiftly departed.
+He then called Tobit's dog.
+
+"Faithful dog," said Mambres, "more speedy in thy course than the
+nimble-footed Achilles, I know what you performed for Tobit, son of
+Tobit, when you and the angel Raphael accompanied him from Nineveh to
+Ragusa in Medea, and from Ragusa to Nineveh, and that he brought back to
+his father ten talents, which the slave Tobit, the father, had lent to
+the slave Gabellus; for the slaves at that time were very rich. Carry
+this letter as it is directed. It is much more valuable than ten talents
+of silver."
+
+The dog then replied:
+
+"Sir, if I formerly followed the messenger Raphael, I can with equal
+ease execute your commission."
+
+Mambres put the letter into his mouth.
+
+He next spoke in the same manner to the pigeon, who replied.
+
+"Sir, if I brought back a bough into the ark, I will likewise bring you
+back an answer."
+
+She took the letter in her bill, and the three messengers were out of
+sight in a moment. Then Mambres addressed the raven,
+
+"I know that you fed the great prophet Elijah, when he was concealed
+near the torrent of Cherith, so much celebrated in the world. You
+brought him every day good bread and fat pullets. I only ask of you to
+carry this letter to Memphis."
+
+The raven answered in these words:
+
+"It is true, sir, that I carried every day a dinner to the great prophet
+Elijah the Tishbite. I saw him mount in a chariot of fire drawn by fiery
+horses, although this is not the usual method of traveling. But I always
+took care to eat half the dinner myself. I am very well pleased to carry
+your letter, provided you make me certain of two good meals every day,
+and that I am paid money in advance for my commission."
+
+Mambres, angry, replied:
+
+"Gluttonous and malicious creature, I am not astonished that Apollo has
+made you black as a mole, after being white as a swan, as you was
+formerly before you betrayed in the plains of Thessaly the beautiful
+Coronis, the unfortunate mother of Æsculapius. Tell me, did you eat ribs
+of beef and pullets every day when you was ten whole months in the ark?"
+
+"Sir," said the raven, "we had there very good cheer. They served up
+roast meat twice a day to all the fowls of my species who live upon
+nothing but flesh, such as the vultures, kites, eagles, buzzards,
+sparrow-hawks, owls, tarsels, falcons, great owls, and an innumerable
+crowd of birds of prey. They furnished, with the most plentiful
+profusion, the tables of the lions, leopards, tigers, panthers, hyænas,
+wolves, bears, foxes, polecats, and all sorts of carnivorous quadrupeds.
+There were in the ark eight persons of distinction, (and the only ones
+who were then in the world,) continually employed in the care of our
+table and our wardrobe; Noah and his wife, who were about six hundred
+years old, their three sons and their three wives. It was charming to
+see with what care, what dexterity, what cleanliness, our eight
+domestics served four thousand of the most ravenous guests, without
+reckoning the amazing trouble which about ten or twelve thousand other
+animals required, from the elephant and the giraffe, to the silk-worm
+and fly. What astonishes me is, that our purveyor Noah is unknown to all
+the nations of whom he is the stem, but I don't much mind it. I had
+already been present at a similar entertainment with Xesustres king of
+Thrace. Such things as these happen from time to time for the
+instruction of ravens. In a word, I want to have good cheer, and to be
+paid in ready money."
+
+The wise Mambres took care not to give his letter to such a discontented
+and babbling animal; and they separated very much dissatisfied with each
+other.
+
+But it is necessary to know what became of the white bull, and not to
+lose sight of the old woman and the serpent. Mambres ordered his
+intelligent and faithful domestics to follow them; and as for himself,
+he advanced in a litter by the side of the Nile, always making
+reflections.
+
+[Illustration: Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah.--"A boatman singing a
+jovial song, made fast a small boat by the side of the river, and three
+grave personages, half clothed in dirty, tattered garments, landed from
+it; but preserved, under the garb of poverty the most majestic and
+august air. These strangers were Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah."]
+
+"How is it possible," said he to himself, "that a serpent should be
+master of almost all the world, as he boasts, and as so many learned men
+acknowledge, and that he nevertheless obeys an old woman? How is it,
+that he is sometimes called to the council of the Most High, while he
+creeps upon earth? In what manner can he enter by his power alone into
+the bodies of men, and that so many men pretend to dislodge him by means
+of words? In short, why does he pass with a small neighboring people,
+for having ruined the human race? And how is it that the human race are
+entirely ignorant of this? I am old, I have studied all my life, but I
+see a crowd of inconsistencies which I cannot reconcile. I cannot
+account for what has happened to myself, neither for the great things
+which I long ago performed, nor those of which I have been witness.
+Every thing well considered, I begin to think that this world subsists
+by contradictions, _rerum concordia discors_, as my master Zoroaster
+formerly said."
+
+While he was plunged in this obscure metaphysical reasoning,--obscure
+like all metaphysics,--a boatman singing a jovial song, made fast a
+small boat by the side of the river, and three grave personages, half
+clothed in dirty tattered garments, landed from it; but preserved, under
+the garb of poverty, the most majestic and august air. These strangers
+were Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah.
+
+
+[1] "Histories," says Pope, in his _Poetical Works_, vol. 4, p. 245,
+"are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends, but:
+I will only say for the honor of dogs, that the two most ancient and
+estimable books, sacred and profane, extant, viz. the Scripture and
+Homer, have shown a particular regard to these animals. That of Tobit is
+the most remarkable, because there seemed no manner of reason to take
+notice of the dog, besides the great humanity of the author. ['And the
+dog went after them,' _Tobit_, xi: 4.] Homer's account of Ulysses's dog,
+Argus, is the most pathetic imaginable, all the circumstances
+considered, and an excellent proof of the old bard's good nature....
+Plutarch, relating how the Athenians were obliged to abandon Athens in
+the time of Themistocles, steps back again out of the way of his
+history, purely to describe the lamentable cries and howlings of the
+poor dogs they left behind. He makes mention of one that followed his
+master across the sea to Salamis, where he died, and was honored with a
+tomb by the Athenians, who gave the name of the Dog's Grave to that part
+of the island where he was buried. This respect to a dog, in the most
+polite people of the world, is very observable. A modern instance of
+gratitude to a dog is, that the chief order of Denmark, (now injuriously
+called the order of the elephant), was instituted in memory of the
+fidelity of a dog, named Wildbrat, to one of their kings who had been
+deserted by his subjects. He gave his order this motto, or to this
+effect, (which still remains), 'Wildbrat was faithful.' Sir William
+Trumbull has told me a story, which he heard from one that was present.
+King Charles I. being with some of his Court, during his troubles, a
+discourse arose what sort of dogs deserved pre-eminence, and it being on
+all hands agreed to belong either to the spaniel or greyhound, the King
+gave his opinion on the part of the greyhound, because (said he) it has
+all the good-nature of the other without the fawning."
+
+This satire upon fawning would no doubt have been as applicable to the
+court of king Amasis as to that of Charles I., for fawning has ever been
+the besetting sin of dogs and courtiers.
+
+It is indeed a grand testimonial to the value of the greyhound, that his
+fleetness and fidelity were appreciated by Mambres, the great Egyptian
+magician, five thousand years before they were endorsed by the
+unfortunate English king. Miss Endor, Homer, Ulysses, Mambres, Tobit,
+Plutarch, the polite Athenians, Charles I., and Alexander Pope are
+certainly as respectable a list of references as the most aristocratic
+greyhound could desire.--E.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+HOW MAMBRES MET THREE PROPHETS, AND GAVE THEM A GOOD DINNER.
+
+
+These three great men who had the prophetic light in their countenance,
+knew the wise Mambres to be one of their brethren, by some marks of the
+same light which he had still remaining, and prostrated themselves
+before his litter. Mambres likewise knew them to be prophets, more by
+their uncouth dress, than by those gleams of fire which proceeded from
+their august heads. He conjectured that they came to learn news of the
+white bull; and conducting himself with his usual propriety, he alighted
+from his carriage and advanced a few steps toward them, with dignified
+politeness. He raised them up, caused tents to be erected, and prepared
+a dinner, of which he rightly judged that the prophets had very great
+need.
+
+He invited the old woman to it, who was only about five hundred paces
+from them. She accepted the invitation, and arrived leading her white
+bull.
+
+Two soups were served up, one _de Bisque_, and the other _a la Reine_.
+The first course consisted of a carp's tongue pie, livers of eel-pouts,
+and pikes; fowls dressed with pistachios, pigeons with truffles and
+olives; two young turkeys with gravy of cray fish, mushrooms, and
+morels; and a chipotata. The second course was composed of pheasants,
+partridges, quails, and ortalons, with four salads; the epergne was in
+the highest taste; nothing could be more delicious than the side dishes,
+nothing more brilliant and more ingenious than the dessert. But the wise
+Mambres took great care to have no boiled beef, nor short ribs, nor
+tongue, nor palate of an ox, nor cows' udder, lest the unfortunate
+monarch near at hand should think that they insulted him.
+
+This great and unfortunate prince was feeding near the tent; and never
+did he feel in a more cruel manner the fatal revolution which had
+deprived him of his throne for seven long years.
+
+"Alas!" said he, to himself, "this Daniel who has changed me into a
+bull, and this sorceress my keeper, make the best cheer in the world;
+while I, the sovereign of Asia, am reduced to the necessity of eating
+grass, and drinking water."
+
+When they had drank heartily of the wine of Engaddi, of Tadmor, and of
+Sebiras, the prophets and the witch conversed with more frankness than
+at the first course.
+
+"I must acknowledge," said Daniel, "that I did not live so well in the
+lion's den."
+
+"What, sir," said Mambres, "did they put you into a den of lions? How
+came you not to be devoured?"
+
+"Sir," said Daniel, "you know very well that lions never eat prophets."
+
+"As for me," said Jeremiah, "I have passed my whole life starving of
+hunger. This is the only day I ever ate a good meal; and were I to spend
+my life over again, and had it in my power to choose my condition, I
+must own I would much rather be comptroller-general or bishop of
+Babylon, than prophet at Jerusalem."
+
+Ezekiel cried, "I was once ordered to sleep three hundred and ninety
+days upon my left side, and to eat all that time bread of wheat, and
+barley, and beans, and lentiles, cooked in the strangest manner. Still I
+must own that the cookery of Seigneur Mambres is much more delicate.
+However, the prophetic trade has its advantages, and the proof is, that
+there are many who follow it."
+
+After they had spoken thus freely, Mambres entered upon business. He
+asked the three pilgrims the reason of their journey into the dominions
+of the king of Tanis. Daniel replied, "That the kingdom of Babylon had
+been all in a flame since Nebuchadnezzar had disappeared: that according
+to the custom of the court, they had persecuted all the prophets, who
+passed their lives in sometimes seeing kings humbled at their feet, and
+sometimes receiving a hundred lashes from them; that at length they had
+been obliged to take refuge in Egypt for fear of being starved."
+
+Ezekiel and Jeremiah likewise spoke a long time in such fine terms, that
+it was almost impossible to understand them. As for the witch, she had
+always a strict eye over her charge. The fish of Jonah continued in the
+Nile, opposite to the tent, and the serpent sported upon the grass.
+After drinking coffee, they took a walk by the side of the Nile; and the
+white bull, perceiving the three prophets, his enemies, bellowed most
+dreadfully, ran furiously at them, and gored them with his horns. As
+prophets never have anything but skin upon their bones, he would
+certainly have run them through; but the ruler of the world, who sees
+all and remedies all, changed them immediately into magpies; and they
+continued to chatter as before. The same thing happened since to the
+Pierides;[1] so much has fable always imitated sacred history.
+
+This incident caused new reflections in the mind of Mambres.
+
+"Here," said he, "are three great prophets changed into magpies. This
+ought to teach us never to speak too much, and always to observe a
+suitable discretion."
+
+He concluded that wisdom was better than eloquence, and thought
+profoundly as usual; when a great and terrible spectacle presented
+itself to his eyes.
+
+
+[1] The nine daughters of Pierus, king of Emathia, were called Pierides.
+They entered into a contest with the Muses, and being conquered were
+metamorphosed into birds.--E.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+HOW KING AMASIS WANTED TO GIVE THE WHITE BULL TO BE DEVOURED BY THE FISH
+OF JONAH, AND DID NOT DO IT.
+
+
+Clouds of dust floated from south to north. The noise of drums, fifes,
+psalteries, harps, and sackbuts was heard. Several squadrons and
+battalions advanced, and Amasis, king of Tanis, was at their head upon
+an Arabian horse caparisoned with scarlet trappings embroidered with
+gold. The heralds proclaimed that they should seize the white bull, bind
+him, and throw him into the Nile, to be devoured by the fish of Jonah;
+"for the king our lord, who is just, wants to revenge himself upon the
+white bull, who has bewitched his daughter."
+
+The good old man Mambres made more reflections than ever. He saw very
+plainly that the malicious raven had told all to the king, and that the
+princess ran a great risk of being beheaded.
+
+"My dear friend," said he to the serpent, "go quickly and comfort the
+fair Amasidia, my foster daughter. Bid her fear nothing whatever may
+happen, and tell her stories to alleviate her inquietude; for stories
+always amuse the ladies, and it is only by interesting them that one can
+succeed in the world."
+
+Mambres next prostrated himself before Amasis, king of Tanis, and thus
+addressed him:
+
+"O king, live for ever! The white bull should certainly be sacrificed,
+for your majesty is always in the right, but the ruler of the world has
+said, this bull must not be swallowed up by the fish of Jonah till
+Memphis shall have found a god to supply the place of him who is dead.
+Then thou shalt be revenged, and thy daughter exorcised, for she is
+possessed. Your piety is too great not to obey the commands of the ruler
+of the universe."
+
+Amasis, king of Tanis, remained for some time silent and in deep
+thought.
+
+"The god Apis," said he, at length, "is dead! God rest his soul! When do
+you think another ox will be found to reign over the fruitful Egypt?"
+
+"Sire," replied Mambres, "I ask but eight days."
+
+"I grant them to you," replied the king, who was very religious, "and I
+will remain here the eight days. At the expiration of that time I will
+sacrifice the enemy of my daughter."
+
+Amasis immediately ordered that his tents, cooks, and musicians should
+be brought, and remained here eight days, as it is related in Manethon.
+
+The old woman was in despair that the bull she had in charge had but
+eight days to live. She raised phantoms every night, in order to
+dissuade the king from his cruel resolution; but Amasis forgot in the
+morning the phantoms he had seen in the night; similar to
+Nebuchadnezzar, who had always forgotten his dreams.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+HOW THE SERPENT TOLD STORIES TO THE PRINCESS TO COMFORT HER.
+
+
+Meanwhile the serpent told stories to the fair Amasidia to soothe her.
+He related to her how he had formerly cured a whole nation of the bite
+of certain little serpents, only by showing himself at the end of a
+staff. (_Num. xx:9._) He informed her of the conquests of a hero who
+made a charming contrast with Amphion, architect of Thebes. Amphion
+assembled hewn stones by the sound of his violin. To build a city he had
+only to play a rigadoon and a minuet; but the other hero destroyed them
+by the sound of rams' horns. He executed thirty-one powerful kings in a
+country of four leagues in length and four in breadth. He made stones
+rain down from heaven upon a battalion of routed Amorites; and having
+thus exterminated them, he stopped the sun and moon at noon-day between
+Gibeon and Ajalon, in the road to Beth-horon, to exterminate them still
+more, after the example of Bacchus, who had stopped the sun and the moon
+in his journey to the Indies.
+
+The prudence which every serpent ought to have, did not allow him to
+tell the fair Amasidia of the powerful Jephthah, who made a vow and
+beheaded his daughter, because he had gained a battle. This would have
+struck terror into the mind of the fair princess. But he related to her
+the adventures of the great Sampson, who killed a thousand Philistines
+with the jaw-bone of an ass, who tied together three hundred foxes by
+the tail, and who fell into the snares of a lady, less beautiful, less
+tender, and less faithful than the charming Amasidia.
+
+He related to her the story of the unfortunate Sechem and Dinah, as well
+as the more celebrated adventures of Ruth and Boaz; those of Judah and
+Tamar; those even of Lot's two daughters; those of Abraham and Jacob's
+servant maids; those of Reuben and Bilhah; those of David and
+Bath-sheba; and those of the great king Solomon. In short, every thing
+which could dissipate the grief of a fair princess.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+HOW THE SERPENT DID NOT COMFORT THE PRINCESS.
+
+
+"All these stories tire me," said Amasidia, for she had understanding
+and taste. "They are good for nothing but to be commented upon among the
+Irish by that madman Abbadie, or among the Welsh by that prattler
+d'Houteville. Stories which might have amused the great, great, great
+grandmother of my grandmother, appear insipid to me who have been
+educated by the wise Mambres, and who have read _Human Understanding_ by
+the Egyptian philosopher named Locke[1] and the _Matron of Ephesus_. I
+choose that a story should be founded on probability, and not always
+resemble a dream. I desire to find nothing in it trivial or extravagant;
+and I desire above all, that under the appearance of fable there may
+appear some latent truth, obvious to the discerning eye, though it
+escape the observation of the vulgar."
+
+"I am weary of a sun and of a moon which an old beldam disposes of at
+her pleasure, of mountains which dance, of rivers which return to their
+sources, and of dead men who rise again; but I am above measure
+disgusted when such insipid stories are written in a bombastic and
+unintelligible manner. A lady who expects to see her lover swallowed up
+by a great fish, and who is apprehensive of being beheaded by her own
+father, has need of amusement; but suit amusement to my taste."
+
+"You impose a difficult task upon me," replied the serpent. "I could
+have formerly made you pass a few hours agreeably enough, but for some
+time past I have lost both my imagination and memory. Alas! what has
+become of those faculties with which I formerly amused the ladies? Let
+me try, however, if I can recollect one moral tale for your
+entertainment.
+
+"Five and twenty thousand years ago king Gnaof and queen Patra reigned
+in Thebes with its hundred gates. King Gnaof was very handsome, and
+queen Patra still more beautiful. But their home was unblest with
+children, and no heirs were born to continue the royal race.
+
+"The members of the faculty of medicine and of the academy of surgery
+wrote excellent treatises upon this subject. The queen was sent to drink
+mineral waters; she fasted and prayed; she made magnificent presents to
+the temple of Jupiter Ammon, but all was to no purpose. At length a----"
+
+"Mon Dieu!" said the princess, "but I see where this leads. This story
+is too common, and I must likewise tell you that it offends my modesty.
+Relate some very true and moral story, which I have never yet heard, to
+complete the improvement of my understanding and my heart, as the
+Egyptian professor Lenro says."
+
+"Here then, madam," said the beautiful serpent, "is one most
+incontestably authentic.
+
+"There were three prophets all equally ambitious and discontented with
+their condition. They had in common the folly to wish to be kings: for
+there is only one step from the rank of a prophet to that of a monarch,
+and man always aspires to the highest step in the ladder of fortune. In
+other respects, their inclinations and their pleasures were totally
+different. The first preached admirably to his assembled brethren, who
+applauded him by clapping their hands; the second was distractedly fond
+of music; and the third was a passionate lover of the fair sex.
+
+"The angel Ithuriel presented himself one day to them when they were at
+table discoursing on the sweets of royalty.
+
+"'The ruler of the world,' said the angel to them, 'sends me to you to
+reward your virtue. Not only shall you be kings, but you shall
+constantly satisfy your ruling passions. Your first prophet, I make king
+of Egypt, and you shall continually preside in your council, who shall
+applaud your eloquence and your wisdom; and you, second prophet, I make
+king over Persia, and you shall continually hear most heavenly music;
+and you, third prophet, I make king of India, and I give you a charming
+mistress who shall never forsake you.'
+
+"He to whose lot Egypt fell, began his reign by assembling his council,
+which was composed only of two hundred sages. He made them a long and
+eloquent speech, which was very much applauded, and the monarch enjoyed
+the pleasing satisfaction of intoxicating himself with praises
+uncorrupted by flattery.
+
+"The council for foreign affairs succeeded to the privy council. This
+was much more numerous; and a new speech received still greater
+encomiums. And it was the same in the other councils. There was not a
+moment of intermission in the pleasures and glory of the prophet king of
+Egypt. The fame of his eloquence filled the world.
+
+"The prophet king of Persia began his reign by an Italian opera, whose
+choruses were sung by fifteen hundred eunuchs. Their voices penetrated
+his soul even to the very marrow of the bones, where it resides. To this
+opera succeeded another, and to the second a third, without
+interruption.
+
+"The king of India shut himself up with his mistress, and enjoyed
+perfect pleasure in her society. He considered the necessity of always
+flattering her as the highest felicity, and pitied the wretched
+situation of his two brethren, of whom one was obliged always to convene
+his council, and the other to be continually at an opera.
+
+"It happened at the end of a few days, that each of these kings became
+disgusted with his occupation, and beheld from his window, certain
+wood-cutters who came from an ale-house, and who were going to work in a
+neighboring forest. They walked arm in arm with their sweet-hearts, with
+whom they were happy. The kings begged of the angel Ithuriel, that he
+would intercede with the ruler of the world, and make them
+wood-cutters."
+
+"I do not know whether the ruler of the world granted their request or
+not," interrupted the tender Amasidia, "and I do not care much about it;
+but I know very well that I should ask for nothing of any one, were I
+with my lover, with my dear NEBUCHADNEZZAR!"
+
+The vaults of the palace resounded this mighty name. At first Amasidia
+had only pronounced Ne--, afterwards Neb--, then Nebu----. At length
+passion hurried her on, and she pronounced entire the fatal name,
+notwithstanding the oath she had sworn to the king, her father. All the
+ladies of the court repeated Nebuchadnezzar, and the malicious raven did
+not fail to carry the tidings to the king. The countenance of Amasis,
+king of Tanis, sunk, because his heart was troubled. And thus it was
+that the serpent, the wisest and most subtle of animals, always beguiled
+the women, thinking to do them service.
+
+Amasis, in a fury, sent twelve alguazils for his daughter. These men are
+always ready to execute barbarous orders, because they are paid for it.
+
+
+[1] The doctrine of metempsychosis must be relied upon to explain this
+seeming anachronism.--E.
+
+[Illustration: Egyptian priests.]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+HOW THEY WANTED TO BEHEAD THE PRINCESS, AND DID NOT DO IT.
+
+
+No sooner had the princess entered the camp of the king, than he said to
+her: "My daughter, you know that all princesses who disobey their
+fathers are put to death; without which it would be impossible that a
+kingdom could be well governed. I charged you never to mention the name
+of your lover, Nebuchadnezzar, my mortal enemy, who dethroned me about
+seven years ago, and disappeared. In his place, you have chosen a white
+bull, and you have cried Nebuchadnezzar. It is just that I behead you."
+
+The princess replied: "My father, thy will be done: but grant me some
+time to bewail my sad fate."
+
+"That is reasonable," said King Amasis; "and it is a rule established
+among the most judicious princes. I give you a whole day to bewail your
+destiny, since it is your desire. To-morrow, which is the eighth day of
+my encampment, I will cause the white bull to be swallowed up by the
+fish, and I will behead you precisely at nine o'clock in the morning."
+
+The beautiful Amasidia then went forth in sorrow, to bewail her father's
+cruelty, and wandered by the side of the Nile, accompanied with the
+ladies of her train.
+
+The wise Mambres pondered beside her, and reckoned the hours and the
+moments.
+
+"Well! my dear Mambres," said she to him, "you have changed the waters
+of the Nile into blood, according to custom, and cannot you change the
+heart of Amasis, king of Tanis, my father? Will you suffer him to behead
+me to-morrow, at nine o'clock in the morning?"
+
+"That depends," replied the reflecting Mambres, "upon the speed and
+diligence of my couriers."
+
+The next day, as soon as the shadows of the obelisks and pyramids marked
+upon the ground the ninth hour of the day, the white bull was securely
+bound, to be thrown to the fish of Jonah; and they brought to the king
+his large sabre.
+
+"Alas! alas!" said Nebuchadnezzar to himself, "I, a king, have been a
+bull for near seven years; and scarcely have I found the mistress I had
+lost when I am condemned to be devoured by a fish."
+
+Never had the wise Mambres made such profound reflections; and he was
+quite absorbed in his melancholy thoughts when he saw at a distance all
+he expected. An innumerable crowd drew nigh. Three figures of Isis,
+Osiris, and Horus, joined together, advanced, drawn in a carriage of
+gold and precious stones, by a hundred senators of Memphis, preceded by
+a hundred girls, playing upon the sacred sistrums. Four thousand
+priests, with their heads shaved, were each mounted upon a hippopotamus.
+
+At a great distance, appeared with the same pomp, the sheep of Thebes,
+the dog of Babastes, the cat of Phoebe, the crocodile of Arsinoe, the
+goat of Mendez, and all the inferior gods of Egypt, who came to pay
+homage to the great ox, to the mighty Apis, as powerful as Isis, Osiris,
+and Horus, united together.
+
+In the midst of the demi-gods, forty priests carried an enormous basket,
+filled with sacred onions. These were, it is true, gods, but they
+resembled onions very much.
+
+On both sides of this aisle of gods, followed by an innumerable crowd of
+people, marched forty thousand warriors, with helmets on their heads,
+scimitars upon their left thighs, quivers at their shoulders, and bows
+in their hands.
+
+All the priests sang in chorus, with a harmony which ravished the soul,
+and which melted it.
+
+     "Alas! alas! our ox is dead--
+      We'll have a finer in its stead."
+
+And at every pause was heard the sound of the sistrums, of cymbals, of
+tabors, of psalteries, of bagpipes, harps, and sackbuts.
+
+Amasis, king of Tanis, astonished at this spectacle, beheaded not his
+daughter. He sheathed his scimitar.
+
+[Illustration: Winged bull.]
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+APOTHEOSIS OF THE WHITE BULL. TRIUMPH OF THE WISE MAMBRES. THE SEVEN
+YEARS PROCLAIMED BY DANIEL ARE ACCOMPLISHED. NEBUCHADNEZZAR RESUMES THE
+HUMAN FORM, MARRIES THE BEAUTIFUL AMASIDIA, AND ASCENDS THE THRONE OF
+BABYLON.
+
+
+"Great king," said Mambres to him, "the order of things is now changed.
+Your majesty must set the example. O king! quickly unbind the white
+bull, and be the first to adore him."
+
+Amasis obeyed, and prostrated himself with all his people. The high
+priest of Memphis presented to the new god Apis the first handful of
+hay; the Princess Amasidia tied to his beautiful horse festoons of
+roses, anemonies, ranunculuses, tulips, pinks, and hyacinths. She took
+the liberty to kiss him, but with a profound respect. The priests
+strewed palms and flowers on the road by which they were to conduct him
+to Memphis. And the wise Mambres, still making reflections, whispered to
+his friend, the serpent:
+
+"_Daniel changed this monarch into a bull, and I have changed this bull
+into a god!"_
+
+They returned to Memphis in the same order, and the king of Tanis, in
+some confusion, followed the band. Mambres, with a serene and diplomatic
+air, walked by his side. The old woman came after, much amazed. She was
+accompanied by the serpent, the dog, the she-ass, the raven, the pigeon,
+and the scape-goat. The great fish mounted up the Nile. Daniel, Ezekiel,
+and Jeremiah, changed into magpies, brought up the rear.
+
+When they had reached the frontiers of the kingdom, which are not far
+distant, King Amasis took leave of the bull Apis, and said to his
+daughter:
+
+"My daughter, let us return into my dominions, that I may behead you, as
+it has been determined in my royal breast, because you have pronounced
+the name of Nebuchadnezzar, my enemy, who dethroned me seven years ago.
+When a father has sworn to behead his daughter, he must either fulfill
+his oath, or sink into hell for ever; and I will not damn myself out of
+love for you."
+
+The fair princess Amasidia replied to the King Amasis:
+
+"My dear father, whom it pleases you go and behead, but it shall not be
+me. I am now in the territories of Isis, Osiris, Horus, and Apis. I will
+never forsake my beautiful white bull, and I will continue to kiss him,
+till I have seen his apotheosis in his stable in the holy city of
+Memphis. It is a weakness pardonable in a young lady of high birth."
+
+Scarce had she spoken these words, when the ox Apis cried out:
+
+"My dear Amasidia, I will love you whilst I live!"
+
+This was the first time that the god Apis had been heard to speak during
+the forty thousand years that he had been worshiped.
+
+The serpent and the she-ass cried out, "the seven years are
+accomplished!" And the three magpies repeated, "the seven years are
+accomplished!"
+
+All the priests of Egypt raised their hands to heaven.
+
+The god on a sudden was seen to lose his two hind legs, his two fore
+legs were changed into two human legs; two white strong muscular arms
+grew from his shoulders; his taurine visage was changed to the face of a
+charming hero; and he once more became the most beautiful of mortals.
+
+"I choose," cried he, "rather to be the lover of the beautiful Amasidia
+than a god. I am NEBUCHADNEZZAR, KING OF KINGS!"
+
+This metamorphosis astonished all the world, except the wise Mambres.
+But what surprised nobody was, that Nebuchadnezzar immediately married
+the fair Amasidia in presence of this assembly.
+
+He left his father-in-law in quiet possession of the kingdom of Tanis;
+and made noble provision for the she-ass, the serpent, the dog, the
+pigeon, and even for the raven, the three magpies, and the large fish;
+showing to all the world that he knew how to forgive as well as to
+conquer.
+
+The old woman had a considerable pension placed at her disposal.
+
+The scape-goat was sent for a day into the wilderness, that all past
+sins might be expiated; and had afterwards twelve sprightly goats for
+his companions.
+
+The wise Mambres returned to his palace, and made reflections.
+
+Nebuchadnezzar, after having embraced the magician, his benefactor,
+governed in tranquillity the kingdoms of Memphis, Babylon, Damascus,
+Balbec, Tyre, Syria, Asia Minor, Scythia, the countries of Thiras,
+Mosok, Tubal, Madai, Gog, Magog, Javan, Sogdiana, Aroriana, the Indies,
+and the Isles; and the people of this vast empire cried out aloud every
+morning at the rising of the sun:
+
+_"Long live great Nebuchadnezzar, king of kings, who is no longer an
+ox!"_
+
+Since which time it has been a custom in Babylon, when the sovereign,
+deceived by his satraps, his magicians, treasurers or wives, at length
+acknowledges his errors, and amends his conduct, for all the people to
+cry out at his gate:
+
+_Long live our great king, who is no longer an ox._
+
+[Illustration: The scape-goat]
+
+
+
+
+ZADIG; OR FATE.
+
+AN ORIENTAL HISTORY.
+
+
+
+
+     APPROBATION.
+
+     I, the underwritten, who have obtained the character of a learned,
+     and even of an ingenious man, have read this manuscript, which, in
+     spite of myself, I have found to be curious, entertaining, moral,
+     philosophical, and capable of affording pleasure even to those who
+     hate romances. I have therefore decried it; and have assured the
+     cadi-lesquier that it is an abominable performance.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+     EPISTLE DEDICATORY TO THE SULTANA SERAA.
+
+     _The 18th of the month Schewal, in the 837th year of the Hegira._
+
+
+     Delight of the eyes, torment of the heart, and light of the mind, I
+     kiss not the dust of thy feet, because thou never walkest; or
+     walkest only on the carpets of Iran, or in paths strewn with roses.
+
+     I offer thee the translation of a book, written by an ancient sage,
+     who, having the happiness to have nothing to do, amused himself in
+     composing the _History of Zadig_; a work which performs more than
+     it promises.
+
+     I beseech thee to read and examine it; for, though thou art in the
+     spring of life, and every pleasure courts thee to its embrace;
+     though thou art beautiful, and thy beauty be embellished by thy
+     admirable talents; though thou art praised from morning to evening,
+     and, on all these accounts, hast a right to be devoid of common
+     sense, yet thou hast a sound judgment and a fine taste; and I have
+     heard thee reason with more accuracy than the old dervises, with
+     their long beards and pointed bonnets.
+
+     Thou art discreet without being distrustful; gentle without
+     weakness; and beneficent with discernment. Thou lovest thy friends,
+     and makest thyself no enemies. Thy wit never borrows its charms
+     from the shafts of detraction. Thou neither sayest nor doest any
+     ill, notwithstanding that both are so much in thy power.
+
+     In a word, thy soul hath always appeared to me to be as pure and
+     unsullied as thy beauty. Besides, thou hast some little knowledge
+     in philosophy, which makes me believe that thou wilt take more
+     pleasure than others of thy sex in perusing the work of this
+     venerable sage.
+
+     It was originally written in the ancient Chaldee, a language which
+     neither thou nor I understand. It was afterward translated into the
+     Arabic, to amuse the famous sultan Oulougbeg, much about the time
+     that the Arabians and the Persians began to write the _Thousand and
+     One Nights_, the _Thousand and One Days_, _etc._
+
+     Ouloug was fond of reading _Zadig_, but the sultanas were fonder of
+     the _Thousand and One_. "How can you prefer," said the wise Ouloug
+     to them, "those stories which have neither sense nor meaning?" "It
+     is for that very reason," replied the sultanas, "that we prefer
+     them."
+
+     I flatter myself that thou wilt not resemble these, thy
+     predecessors; but that thou wilt be a true Ouloug. I even hope,
+     that when thou art tired with those general conversations, which
+     differ from the _Thousand and One_ in nothing but in being less
+     agreeable, I shall have the honor to entertain thee for a moment
+     with a rational discourse.
+
+     Hadst thou been Thalestris in the time of Scander, the son of
+     Philip; hadst thou been the Queen of Sheba in the time of Solomon;
+     these are the very kings that would have paid thee a visit.
+
+     I pray the heavenly powers, that thy pleasures may be unmixed, thy
+     beauty never fading, and thy happiness without end.
+
+                                                              SADI.
+
+
+[Illustration: Caravan approaching Babylon.]
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+THE BLIND OF ONE EYE.
+
+
+There lived at Babylon, in the reign of King Moabdar, a young man, named
+Zadig, of a good natural disposition, strengthened and improved by
+education. Though rich and young, he had learned to moderate his
+passions. He had nothing stiff or affected in his behavior. He did not
+pretend to examine every action by the strict rules of reason, but was
+always ready to make proper allowances for the weakness of mankind. It
+was a matter of surprise, that, notwithstanding his sprightly wit, he
+never exposed by his raillery those vague, incoherent, and noisy
+discourses; those rash censures, ignorant decisions, coarse jests, and
+all that empty jingle of words which at Babylon went by the name of
+conversation. He had learned, in the first book of Zoroaster, that
+self-love is a foot-ball swelled with wind, from which, when pierced,
+the most terrible tempests issue forth. Above all, Zadig never boasted
+of his conquests among the women, nor affected to entertain a
+contemptible opinion of the fair sex. He was generous, and was never
+afraid of obliging the ungrateful; remembering the grand precept of
+Zoroaster, "When thou eatest, give to the dogs, should they even bite
+thee." He was as wise as it is possible for man to be, for he sought to
+live with the wise. Instructed in the sciences of the ancient Chaldeans,
+he understood the principles of natural philosophy, such as they were
+then supposed to be; and knew as much of metaphysics as hath ever been
+known in any age, that is, little or nothing at all. He was firmly
+persuaded, notwithstanding the new philosophy of the times, that the
+year consisted of three hundred and sixty-five days and six hours, and
+that the sun was the centre of the solar system. When the principal magi
+told him, with a haughty and contemptuous air, that his sentiments were
+of a dangerous tendency, and that it was to be an enemy to the state to
+believe that the sun revolved round its own axis, and that the year had
+twelve months, he held his tongue with great modesty and meekness.
+
+Possessed as he was of great riches, and consequently of many friends,
+blessed with a good constitution, a handsome figure, a mind just and
+moderate, and a heart noble and sincere, he fondly imagined that he
+might easily be happy. He was going to be married to Semira, who, in
+point of beauty, birth, and fortune, was the first match in Babylon. He
+had a real and virtuous affection for this lady, and she loved him with
+the most passionate fondness. The happy moment was almost arrived that
+was to unite them for ever in the bands of wedlock, when happening to
+take a walk together toward one of the gates of Babylon, under the
+palm-trees that adorn the banks of the Euphrates, they saw some men
+approaching, armed with sabres and arrows. These were the attendants of
+young Orcan, the minister's nephew, whom his uncle's creatures had
+flattered into an opinion that he might do everything with impunity. He
+had none of the graces nor virtues of Zadig; but thinking himself a much
+more accomplished man, he was enraged to find that the other was
+preferred before him. This jealousy, which was merely the effect of his
+vanity, made him imagine that he was desperately in love with Semira;
+and accordingly he resolved to carry her off. The ravishers seized her;
+in the violence of the outrage, they wounded her, and made the blood
+flow from a person, the sight of which would have softened the tigers
+of mount Imaus. She pierced the heavens with her complaints. She cried
+out: "My dear husband! they tear me from the man I adore!"
+
+Regardless of her own danger, she was only concerned for the fate of her
+dear Zadig, who, in the meantime, defended himself with all the strength
+that courage and love could inspire. Assisted only by two faithful
+slaves, he put the cowardly ravishers to flight, and carried home
+Semira, insensible and bloody as she was.
+
+"O Zadig," said she, on opening her eyes, and beholding her deliverer,
+"I loved thee formerly as my intended husband, I now love thee as the
+preserver of my honor and my life!"
+
+Never was heart more deeply affected than that of Semira. Never did a
+more charming mouth express more moving sentiments, in those glowing
+words inspired by a sense of the greatest of all favors, and by the most
+tender transports of a lawful passion. Her wound was slight, and was
+soon cured. Zadig was more dangerously wounded. An arrow had pierced him
+near his eye, and penetrated to a considerable depth, Semira wearied
+heaven with her prayers for the recovery of her lover. Her eyes were
+constantly bathed in tears; she anxiously waited the happy moment when
+those of Zadig should be able to meet hers; but an abscess growing on
+the wounded eye, gave everything to fear. A messenger was immediately
+dispatched to Memphis, for the great physician Hermes, who came with a
+numerous retinue. He visited the patient, and declared that he would
+lose his eye. He even foretold the day and hour when this fatal event
+would happen.
+
+"Had it been the right eye," said he, "I could easily have cured it; but
+the wounds of the left eye are incurable."
+
+All Babylon lamented the fate of Zadig, and admired the profound
+knowledge of Hermes. In two days the abscess broke of its own accord,
+and Zadig was perfectly cured. Hermes wrote a book, to prove that it
+ought not to have been cured. Zadig did not read it: but, as soon as he
+was able to go abroad, he went to pay a visit to her in whom all his
+hopes of happiness were centered, and for whose sake alone he wished to
+have eyes. Semira had been in the country for three days past. He
+learned on the road, that that fine lady, having openly declared that
+she had an unconquerable aversion to one-eyed men, had the night before
+given her hand to Orcan. At this news he fell speechless to the ground.
+His sorrows brought him almost to the brink of the grave. He was long
+indisposed; but reason at last got the better of his affliction; and the
+severity of his fate served even to console him.
+
+"Since," said he, "I have suffered so much from the cruel caprice of a
+woman educated at court, I must now think of marrying the daughter of a
+citizen."
+
+He pitched upon Azora, a lady of the greatest prudence, and of the best
+family in town. He married her, and lived with her for three months in
+all the delights of the most tender union. He only observed that she had
+a little levity; and was too apt to find that those young men who had
+the most handsome persons were likewise possessed of the most wit and
+virtue.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+THE NOSE.
+
+
+One morning Azora returned from a walk in a terrible passion and
+uttering the most violent exclamations.
+
+"What aileth thee," said he, "my dear spouse? What is it that can thus
+have disturbed thee?"
+
+"Alas!" said she, "thou wouldst have been as much enraged as I am, hadst
+thou seen what I have just beheld. I have been to comfort the young
+widow Cosrou, who, within these two days, hath raised a tomb to her
+young husband, near the rivulet that washes the skirts of this meadow.
+She vowed to heaven, in the bitterness of her grief, to remain at this
+tomb whilst the water of the rivulet should continue to run near it."
+
+"Well," said Zadig, "she is an excellent woman, and loved her husband
+with the most sincere affection."
+
+"Ah!" replied Azora, "didst thou but know in what she was employed when
+I went to wait upon her!"
+
+"In what, pray tell me, beautiful Azora? Was she turning the course of
+the rivulet?"
+
+Azora broke out into such long invectives, and loaded the young widow
+with such bitter reproaches, that Zadig was far from being pleased with
+this ostentation of virtue.
+
+Zadig had a friend named Cador; one of those young men in whom his wife
+discovered more probity and merit than in others. He made him his
+confidant, and secured his fidelity as much as possible by a
+considerable present. Azora, having passed two days with a friend in the
+country, returned home on the third. The servants told her, with tears
+in their eyes, that her husband died suddenly the night before; that
+they were afraid to send her an account of this mournful event; and that
+they had just been depositing his corpse in the tomb of his ancestors,
+at the end of the garden. She wept, she tore her hair, and swore she
+would follow him to the grave. In the evening, Cador begged leave to
+wait upon her, and joined his tears with hers. Next day they wept less,
+and dined together. Cador told her, that his friend had left him the
+greater part of his estate; and that he should think himself extremely
+happy in sharing his fortune with her. The lady wept, fell into a
+passion, and at last became more mild and gentle. They sat longer at
+supper than at dinner. They now talked with greater confidence. Azora
+praised the deceased; but owned that he had many failings from which
+Cador was free.
+
+During supper, Cador complained of a violent pain in his side. The lady,
+greatly concerned, and eager to serve him, caused all kinds of essences
+to be brought, with which she anointed him, to try if some of them might
+not possibly ease him of his pain. She lamented that the great Hermes
+was not still in Babylon. She even condescended to touch the side in
+which Cador felt such exquisite pain.
+
+"Art thou subject to this cruel disorder?" said she to him, with a
+compassionate air.
+
+"It sometimes brings me," replied Cador, "to the brink of the grave; and
+there is but one remedy that can give me relief--and that is, to apply
+to my side the nose of a man who is lately dead."
+
+"A strange remedy, indeed!" said Azora.
+
+"Not more strange," replied he, "than the satchels of Arnou, against the
+apoplexy."
+
+This reason, added to the great merit of the young man, at last
+determined the lady.
+
+"After all," says she, "when my husband shall cross the bridge Tchinavar
+in his journey to the other world, the angel Asrael will not refuse him
+a passage because his nose is a little shorter in the second life than
+it was in the first."
+
+She then took a razor, went to her husband's tomb, bedewed it with her
+tears, and drew near to cut off the nose of Zadig, whom she found
+extended at full length in the tomb. Zadig arose, holding his nose with
+one hand, and putting back the razor with the other.
+
+"Madam," said he, "don't exclaim so violently against the widow Cosrou.
+The project of cutting off my nose is equal to that of turning the
+course of a rivulet."
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+THE DOG AND THE HORSE.
+
+
+Zadig found by experience, that the first month of marriage, as it is
+written in the book of Zend, is the moon of honey, and that the second
+is the moon of wormwood. He was some time after obliged to repudiate
+Azora, who became too difficult to be pleased; and he then sought for
+happiness in the study of nature.
+
+"No man," said he, "can be happier than a philosopher, who reads in this
+great book, which God hath placed before our eyes. The truths he
+discovers are his own; he nourishes and exalts his soul; he lives in
+peace; he fears nothing from men; and his tender spouse will not come to
+cut off his nose."
+
+Possessed of these ideas, he retired to a country house on the banks of
+the Euphrates. There he did not employ himself in calculating how many
+inches of water flow in a second of time under the arches of a bridge,
+or whether there fell a cube-line of rain in the month of the mouse
+more than in the month of the sheep. He never dreamed of making silk of
+cobwebs, or porcelain of broken bottles: but he chiefly studied the
+properties of plants and animals; and soon acquired a sagacity that made
+him discover a thousand differences where other men see nothing but
+uniformity.
+
+One day, as he was walking near a little wood, he saw one of the queen's
+eunuchs running toward him, followed by several officers, who appeared
+to be in great perplexity, and who ran to and fro like men distracted,
+eagerly searching for something they had lost of great value.
+
+"Young man," said the first eunuch, "hast thou seen the queen's dog?"
+
+"It is a bitch," replied Zadig, with great modesty, "and not a dog."
+
+"Thou art in the right," returned the first eunuch.
+
+"It is a very small she-spaniel," added Zadig; "she has lately whelped;
+she limps on the left fore-foot, and has very long ears."
+
+"Thou hast seen her," said the first eunuch, quite out of breath.
+
+"No," replied Zadig, "I have not seen her, nor did I so much as know
+that the queen had a bitch."
+
+Exactly at the same time, by one of the common freaks of fortune, the
+finest horse in the king's stable had escaped from the jockey in the
+plains of Babylon. The principal huntsman, and all the other officers,
+ran after him with as much eagerness and anxiety as the first eunuch had
+done after the bitch. The principal huntsman addressed himself to Zadig,
+and asked him if he had not seen the king's horse passing by.
+
+"He is the fleetest horse in the king's stable," replied Zadig, "he is
+five feet high, with very small hoofs, and a tail three feet and an half
+in length; the studs on his bit are gold, of twenty-three carats, and
+his shoes are silver of eleven penny-weights."
+
+"What way did he take? where is he?" demanded the chief huntsman.
+
+"I have not seen him," replied Zadig, "and never heard talk of him
+before."
+
+The principal huntsman and the first eunuch never doubted but that
+Zadig had stolen the king's horse and the queen's bitch. They therefore
+had him conducted before the assembly of the grand desterham, who
+condemned him to the knout, and to spend the rest of his days in
+Siberia. Hardly was the sentence passed, when the horse and the bitch
+were both found. The judges were reduced to the disagreeable necessity
+of reversing their sentence; but they condemned Zadig to pay four
+hundred ounces of gold for having said that he had not seen what he had
+seen. This fine he was obliged to pay; after which, he was permitted to
+plead his cause before the counsel of the grand desterham, when he spoke
+to the following effect.
+
+"Ye stars of justice, abyss of sciences, mirrors of truth, who have the
+weight of lead, the hardness of iron, the splendor of the diamond, and
+many of the properties of gold; since I am permitted to speak before
+this august assembly, I swear to you by Oromazes, that I have never seen
+the queen's respectable bitch, nor the sacred horse of the king of
+kings. The truth of the matter is as follows: I was walking toward the
+little wood, where I afterward met the venerable eunuch, and the most
+illustrious chief huntsman. I observed on the sand the traces of an
+animal, and could easily perceive them to be those of a little dog. The
+light and long furrows impressed on little eminences of sand between the
+marks of the paws, plainly discovered that it was a bitch, whose dugs
+were hanging down, and that therefore she must have whelped a few days
+before. Other traces of a different kind, that always appeared to have
+gently brushed the surface of the sand near the marks of the fore-feet,
+showed me that she had very long ears; and as I remarked that there was
+always a slighter impression made on the sand by one foot than by the
+other three, I found that the bitch of our august queen was a little
+lame, if I may be allowed the expression. With regard to the horse of
+the king of kings, you will be pleased to know, that walking in the
+lanes of this wood, I observed the marks of a horse's shoes, all at
+equal distances. This must be a horse, said I to myself, that gallops
+excellently. The dust on the trees in a narrow road that was but seven
+feet wide, was a little brushed off, at the distance of three feet and
+a half from the middle of the road. This horse, said I, has a tail
+three feet and a half long, which, being whisked to the right and left,
+has swept away the dust. I observed under the trees that formed an arbor
+five feet in height, that the leaves of the branches were newly fallen,
+from whence I inferred that the horse had touched them, and that he must
+therefore be five feet high. As to his bit, it must be gold of
+twenty-three carats, for he had rubbed its bosses against a stone which
+I knew to be a touchstone, and which I have tried. In a word, from a
+mark made by his shoes on flints of another kind, I concluded that he
+was shod with silver eleven deniers fine."
+
+All the judges admired Zadig for his acute and profound discernment. The
+news of this speech was carried even to the king and queen. Nothing was
+talked of but Zadig in the anti-chambers, the chambers, and the cabinet;
+and though many of the magi were of opinion that he ought to be burnt as
+a sorcerer, the king ordered his officers to restore him the four
+hundred ounces of gold which he had been obliged to pay. The register,
+the attorneys, and bailiffs, went to his house with great formality to
+carry him back his four hundred ounces. They only retained three hundred
+and ninety-eight of them to defray the expenses of justice; and then
+their servants demanded their fees.
+
+Zadig saw how extremely dangerous it sometimes is to appear too knowing,
+and therefore resolved, that on the next occasion of the like nature he
+would not tell what he had seen.
+
+Such an opportunity soon offered. A prisoner of state made his escape
+and passed under the windows of Zadig's house. Zadig was examined and
+made no answer. But it was proved that he had looked at the prisoner
+from this window. For this crime he was condemned to pay five hundred
+ounces of gold; and, according to the polite custom of Babylon, he
+thanked his judges for their indulgence.
+
+"Great God!" said he to himself, "what a misfortune it is to walk in a
+wood through which the queen's bitch or the king's horse have passed!
+how dangerous to look out at a window! and how difficult to be happy in
+this life!"
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+THE ENVIOUS MAN.
+
+
+Zadig resolved to comfort himself by philosophy and friendship for the
+evils he had suffered from fortune. He had in the suburbs of Babylon a
+house elegantly furnished, in which he assembled all the arts and all
+the pleasures worthy the pursuit of a gentleman. In the morning his
+library was open to the learned. In the evening his table was surrounded
+by good company. But he soon found what very dangerous guests these men
+of letters are. A warm dispute arose on one of Zoroaster's laws, which
+forbids the eating of a griffin.
+
+"Why," said some of them, "prohibit the eating of a griffin, if there is
+no such animal in nature?"
+
+"There must necessarily be such an animal," said the others, "since
+Zoroaster forbids us to eat it."
+
+Zadig would fain have reconciled them by saying:
+
+"If there are no griffins, we cannot possibly eat them; and thus either
+way we shall obey Zoroaster."
+
+A learned man, who had composed thirteen volumes on the properties of
+the griffin, and was besides the chief theurgite, hasted away to accuse
+Zadig before one of the principal magi, named Yebor, the greatest
+blockhead, and therefore the greatest fanatic among the Chaldeans. This
+man would have empaled Zadig to do honor to the sun, and would then have
+recited the breviary of Zoroaster with greater satisfaction. The friend
+Cador (a friend is better than a hundred priests) went to Yebor, and
+said to him:
+
+"Long live the sun and the griffins; beware of punishing Zadig; he is a
+saint; he has griffins in his inner court, and does not eat them; and
+his accuser is an heretic, who dares to maintain that rabbits have
+cloven feet, and are not unclean."
+
+"Well," said Yebor, shaking his bald pate, "we must empale Zadig for
+having thought contemptuously of griffins, and the other party for
+having spoken disrespectfully of rabbits."
+
+Cador hushed up the affair by appealing to a person who had great
+interest in the college of the magi. Nobody was empaled. This lenity
+occasioned a great murmuring among some of the doctors, who from thence
+predicted the fall of Babylon.
+
+"Upon what does happiness depend?" said Zadig; "I am persecuted by
+everything in the world, even on account of beings that have no
+existence."
+
+He cursed those men of learning, and resolved for the future to live
+with none but good company.
+
+He assembled at his house the most worthy men, and the most beautiful
+ladies of Babylon. He gave them delicious suppers, often preceded by
+concerts of music, and always animated by polite conversation, from
+which he knew how to banish that affectation of wit, which is the surest
+method of preventing it entirely, and of spoiling the pleasure of the
+most agreeable society. Neither the choice of his friends, nor that of
+the dishes, was made by vanity; for in everything he preferred the
+substance to the shadow; and by these means he procured that real
+respect to which he did not aspire.
+
+Opposite to his house lived one Arimazes, a man whose deformed
+countenance was but a faint picture of his still more deformed mind. His
+heart was a mixture of malice, pride, and envy. Having never been able
+to succeed in any of his undertakings, he revenged himself on all around
+him, by loading them with the blackest calumnies. Rich as he was, he
+found it difficult to procure a set of flatterers. The rattling of the
+chariots that entered Zadig's court in the evening, filled him with
+uneasiness; the sound of his praises enraged him still more. He
+sometimes went to Zadig's house, and sat down at table without being
+desired; where he spoiled all the pleasure of the company, as the
+harpies are said to infect the viands they touch.
+
+It happened that one day he took it in his head to give an entertainment
+to a lady, who, instead of accepting it, went to sup with Zadig. At
+another time, as he was talking with Zadig at court, a minister of state
+came up to them, and invited Zadig to supper, without inviting Arimazes.
+The most implacable hatred has seldom a more solid foundation. This man,
+who in Babylon was called the _envious_, resolved to ruin Zadig,
+because he was called the _happy_. "The opportunity of doing mischief
+occurs a hundred times in a day, and that of doing good but once a year,
+as sayeth the wise Zoroaster."
+
+The envious man went to see Zadig, who was walking in his garden with
+two friends and a lady, to whom he said many gallant things, without any
+other intention than that of saying them. The conversation turned upon a
+war which the king had just brought to a happy conclusion against the
+prince of Hircania, his vassal. Zadig, who had signalized his courage in
+this short war, bestowed great praises on the king, but greater still on
+the lady. He took out his pocket-book, and wrote four lines extempore,
+which he gave to this amiable person to read. His friends begged they
+might see them; but modesty, or rather a well-regulated self-love, would
+not allow him to grant their request. He knew that extemporary verses
+are never approved by any but by the person in whose honor they are
+written. He therefore tore in two the leaf on which he had written them,
+and threw both the pieces into a thicket of rose bushes where the rest
+of the company sought for them in vain. A slight shower falling soon
+after, obliged them to return to the house.
+
+The envious man, who remained in the garden, continued to search, till
+at last he found a piece of the leaf. It had been torn in such a manner,
+that each half of a line formed a complete sense, and even a verse of a
+shorter measure; but what was still more surprising, these short verses
+were found to contain the most injurious reflections on the king. They
+ran thus:
+
+     To flagrant crimes
+       His crown he owes,
+     To peaceful times
+       The worst of foes.
+
+The envious man was now happy for the first time in his life. He had it
+in his power to ruin a person of virtue and merit. Killed with this
+fiend-like joy, he found means to convey to the king the satire written
+by the hand of Zadig, who was immediately thrown into prison, together
+with the lady and Zadig's two friends.
+
+His trial was soon finished without his being permitted to speak for
+himself. As he was going to receive his sentence, the envious man threw
+himself in his way, and told him with a loud voice, that his verses were
+good for nothing. Zadig did not value himself on being a good poet; but
+it filled him with inexpressible concern to find that he was condemned
+for high treason; and that the fair lady and his two friends were
+confined in prison for a crime of which they were not guilty. He was not
+allowed to speak, because his writing spoke for him. Such was the law of
+Babylon. Accordingly he was conducted to the place of execution through
+an immense crowd of spectators, who durst not venture to express their
+pity for him, but who carefully examined his countenance to see if he
+died with a good grace. His relations alone were inconsolable; for they
+could not succeed to his estate. Three-fourths of his wealth were
+confiscated into the king's treasury, and the other fourth was given to
+the envious man.
+
+Just as he was preparing for death, the king's parrot flew from its
+cage, and alighted on a rose bush in Zadig's garden. A peach had been
+driven thither by the wind from a neighboring tree, and had fallen on a
+piece of the written leaf of the pocket-book to which it stuck. The bird
+carried off the peach and the paper, and laid them on the king's knee.
+The king took up the paper with great eagerness, and read the words,
+which formed no sense, and seemed to be the endings of verses. He loved
+poetry; and there is always some mercy to be expected from a prince of
+that disposition. The adventure of the parrot caused him to reflect.
+
+The queen, who remembered what had been written on the piece of Zadig's
+pocket-book, ordered it to be brought. They compared the two pieces
+together, and found them to tally exactly. They then read the verses as
+Zadig had written them.
+
+     Tyrants are prone to flagrant crimes;
+       To clemency his crown he owes;
+     To concord and to peaceful times
+       Love only is the worst of foes.
+
+The king gave immediate orders that Zadig should be brought before him,
+and that his two friends and the lady should be set at liberty. Zadig
+fell prostrate on the ground before the king and queen, humbly begged
+their pardon for having made such bad verses, and spoke with so much
+propriety, wit, and good sense, that their majesties desired they might
+see him again. He did himself that honor, and insinuated himself still
+farther into their good graces. They gave him all the wealth of the
+envious man; but Zadig restored him back the whole of it; and this
+instance of generosity gave no other pleasure to the envious man than
+that of having preserved his estate. The king's esteem for Zadig
+increased every day. He admitted him into all his parties of pleasure,
+and consulted him in all affairs of state. From that time the queen
+began to regard him with an eye of tenderness, that might one day prove
+dangerous to herself, to the king her august consort, to Zadig, and to
+the kingdom in general. Zadig now began to think that happiness was not
+so unattainable as he had formerly imagined.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+THE GENEROUS.
+
+
+The time had now arrived for celebrating a grand festival, which
+returned every five years. It was a custom in Babylon solemnly to
+declare, at the end of every five years, which of the citizens had
+performed the most generous action. The grandees and the magi were the
+judges. The first satrap, who was charged with the government of the
+city, published the most noble actions that had passed under his
+administration. The competition was decided by votes; and the king
+pronounced the sentence. People came to this solemnity from the
+extremities of the earth. The conqueror received from the monarch's
+hands a golden cup adorned with precious stones, his majesty at the same
+time making him this compliment: "Receive this reward of thy generosity,
+and may the gods grant me many subjects like to thee."
+
+This memorable day having come, the king appeared on his throne,
+surrounded by the grandees, the magi, and the deputies of all the
+nations that came to these games, where glory was acquired not by the
+swiftness of horses, nor by strength of body, but by virtue. The first
+satrap recited, with an audible voice, such actions as might entitle
+the authors of them to this invaluable prize. He did not mention the
+greatness of soul with which Zadig had restored the envious man his
+fortune, because it was not judged to be an action worthy of disputing
+the prize.
+
+He first presented a judge, who having made a citizen lose a
+considerable cause by a mistake, for which, after all, he was not
+accountable, had given him the whole of his own estate, which was just
+equal to what the other had lost.
+
+He next produced a young man, who being desperately in love with a lady
+whom he was going to marry, had yielded her up to his friend, whose
+passion for her had almost brought him to the brink of the grave, and at
+the same time had given him the lady's fortune.
+
+He afterwards produced a soldier, who, in the wars of Hircania, had
+given a still more noble instance of generosity. A party of the enemy
+having seized his mistress, he fought in her defence with great
+intrepidity. At that very instant he was informed that another party, at
+the distance of a few paces, were carrying off his mother; he therefore
+left his mistress with tears in his eyes, and flew to the assistance of
+his mother. At last he returned to the dear object of his love, and
+found her expiring. He was just going to plunge his sword in his own
+bosom; but his mother remonstrating against such a desperate deed, and
+telling him that he was the only support of her life, he had the courage
+to endure to live.
+
+The judges were inclined to give the prize to the soldier. But the king
+took up the discourse, and said:
+
+"The action of the soldier, and those of the other two, are doubtless
+very great, but they have nothing in them surprising. Yesterday, Zadig
+performed an action that filled me with wonder. I had a few days before
+disgraced Coreb, my minister and favorite. I complained of him in the
+most violent and bitter terms; all my courtiers assured me that I was
+too gentle, and seemed to vie with each other in speaking ill of Coreb.
+I asked Zadig what he thought of him, and he had the courage to commend
+him. I have read in our histories of many people who have atoned for an
+error by the surrender of their fortune; who have resigned a mistress;
+or preferred a mother to the object of their affection, but never
+before did I hear of a courtier who spoke favorably of a disgraced
+minister, that labored under the displeasure of his sovereign. I give to
+each of those whose generous actions have been now recited, twenty
+thousand pieces of gold; but the cup I give to Zadig."
+
+"May it please your majesty," said Zadig, "thyself alone deservest the
+cup. Thou hast performed an action of all others the most uncommon and
+meritorious, since, notwithstanding thy being a powerful king, thou wast
+not offended at thy slave, when he presumed to oppose thy passion."
+
+The king and Zadig were equally the object of admiration. The judge who
+had given his estate to his client; the lover who had resigned his
+mistress to his friend, and the soldier, who had preferred the safety of
+his mother to that of his mistress, received the king's presents, and
+saw their names enrolled in the catalogue of generous men. Zadig had the
+cup, and the king acquired the reputation of a good prince, which he did
+not long enjoy. The day was celebrated by feasts that lasted longer than
+the law enjoined; and the memory of it is still preserved in Asia. Zadig
+said: "Now I am happy at last." But he found himself fatally deceived.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+THE MINISTER.
+
+
+The king had lost his first minister, and chose Zadig to supply his
+place. All the ladies in Babylon applauded the choice; for, since the
+foundation of the empire, there had never been such a young minister.
+But all the courtiers were filled with jealousy and vexation. The
+envious man, in particular, was troubled with a spitting of blood, and a
+prodigious inflammation in his nose. Zadig, having thanked the king and
+queen for their goodness, went likewise to thank the parrot.
+
+"Beautiful bird," said he, "tis thou that hast saved my life, and made
+me first minister. The queen's bitch and the king's horse did me a great
+deal of mischief; but thou hast done me much good. Upon such slender
+threads as these do the fates of mortals hang! but," added he, "this
+happiness perhaps will vanish very soon."
+
+[Illustration: The cup.--"May it please your majesty," said Zadig,
+"thyself alone deservest the cup."]
+
+"Soon," replied the parrot.
+
+Zadig was somewhat startled at this word. But as he was a good natural
+philosopher, and did not believe parrots to be prophets, he quickly
+recovered his spirits, and resolved to execute his duty to the best of
+his power.
+
+He made every one feel the sacred authority of the laws, but no one felt
+the weight of his dignity. He never checked the deliberations of the
+divan; and every vizier might give his opinion without fear of incurring
+the minister's displeasure. When he gave judgment, it was not he that
+gave it; it was the law; the rigor of which, however, whenever it was
+too severe, he always took care to soften; and when laws were wanting,
+the equity of his decisions was such as might easily have made them pass
+for those of Zoroaster.
+
+It is to him that the nations are indebted for this grand principle, to
+wit, that it is better to run the risk of sparing the guilty than to
+condemn the innocent. He imagined that laws were made as well to secure
+the people from the suffering of injuries as to restrain them from the
+commission of crimes. His chief talent consisted in discovering the
+truth, which all men seek to obscure. This great talent he put in
+practice from the very beginning of his administration.
+
+A famous merchant of Babylon, who died in the Indies, divided his estate
+equally between his two sons, after having disposed of their sister in
+marriage, and left a present of thirty thousand pieces of gold to that
+son who should be found to have loved him best. The eldest raised a tomb
+to his memory; the youngest increased his sister's portion, by giving
+her a part of his inheritance. Every one said that the eldest son loved
+his father best, and the youngest his sister; and that the thirty
+thousand pieces belonged to the eldest.
+
+Zadig sent for both of them, the one after the other. To the eldest he
+said:
+
+"Thy father is not dead; but has survived his last illness, and is
+returning to Babylon."
+
+"God be praised," replied the young man; "but his tomb cost me a
+considerable sum."
+
+Zadig afterwards repeated the same story to the youngest son.
+
+"God be praised," said he; "I will go and restore to my father all that
+I have; but I could wish that he would leave my sister what I have given
+her."
+
+"Thou shalt restore nothing," replied Zadig, "and thou shalt have the
+thirty thousand pieces, for thou art the son who loves his father best."
+
+A widow, having a young son, and being possessed of a handsome fortune,
+had given a promise of marriage to two magi; who were both desirous of
+marrying her.
+
+"I will take for my husband," said she, "the man who can give the best
+education to my beloved son."
+
+The two magi contended who should bring him up, and the cause was
+carried before Zadig. Zadig summoned the two magi to attend him.
+
+"What will you teach your pupil?" said he to the first.
+
+"I will teach him," said the doctor, "the eight parts of speech, logic,
+astrology, pneumatics, what is meant by substance and accident, abstract
+and concrete, the doctrine of the monades, and the pre-established
+harmony."
+
+"For my part," said the second, "I will endeavor to give him a sense of
+justice, and to make him worthy the friendship of good men."
+
+Zadig then cried:
+
+"Whether thou art the child's favorite or not, thou shalt have his
+mother."
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+THE DISPUTES AND THE AUDIENCES.
+
+
+In this manner he daily discovered the subtlety of his genius and the
+goodness of his heart. The people at once admired and loved him. He
+passed for the happiest man in the world. The whole empire resounded
+with his name. All the ladies ogled him. All the men praised him for his
+justice. The learned regarded him as an oracle; and even the priests
+confessed that he knew more than the old arch-magi Yebor. They were now
+so far from prosecuting him on account of the griffins, that they
+believed nothing but what he thought credible.
+
+There had continued at Babylon, for the space of fifteen hundred years,
+a violent contest that had divided the empire into two sects. The one
+pretended that they ought to enter the temple of Mithra with the left
+foot foremost; the other held this custom in detestation, and always
+entered with the right foot first. The people waited with great
+impatience for the day on which the solemn feast of the sacred fire was
+to be celebrated, to see which sect Zadig would favor. All the world had
+their eyes fixed on his two feet, and the whole city was in the utmost
+suspense and perturbation. Zadig jumped into the temple with his feet
+joined together; and afterward proved, in an eloquent discourse, that
+the Sovereign of heaven and earth, who accepteth not the persons of men,
+maketh no distinction between the right and the left foot. The envious
+man and his wife alleged that his discourse was not figurative enough,
+and that he did not make the rocks and mountains dance with sufficient
+agility.
+
+"He is dry," said they, "and void of genius. He does not make the sea to
+fly, and stars to fall, nor the sun to melt like wax. He has not the
+true oriental style."
+
+Zadig contented himself with having the style of reason. All the world
+favored him, not because he was in the right road, or followed the
+dictates of reason, or was a man of real merit, but because he was prime
+vizier.
+
+He terminated with the same happy address the grand dispute between the
+black and the white magi. The former maintained that it was the height
+of impiety to pray to God with the face turned toward the east in
+winter; the latter asserted that God abhorred the prayers of those who
+turned toward the west in summer. Zadig decreed that every man should be
+allowed to turn as he pleased.
+
+Thus he found out the happy secret of finishing all affairs, whether of
+a private or a public nature, in the morning. The rest of the day he
+employed in superintending and promoting the embellishments of Babylon.
+He exhibited tragedies that drew tears from the eyes of the spectators,
+and comedies that shook their sides with laughter,--a custom which had
+long been disused, and which his good taste now induced him to revive.
+He never affected to be more knowing in the polite arts than the artists
+themselves. He encouraged them by rewards and honors, and was never
+jealous of their talents. In the evening the king was highly entertained
+with his conversation, and the queen still more.
+
+"Great minister!" said the king.
+
+"Amiable minister!" said the queen; and both of them added, "It would
+have been a great loss to the state had such a man been hanged."
+
+Meanwhile Zadig perceived that his thoughts were always distracted, as
+well when he gave audience as when he sat in judgment. He did not know
+to what to attribute this absence of mind, and that was his only sorrow.
+
+He had a dream, in which he imagined that he laid himself down upon a
+heap of dry herbs, among which there were many prickly ones that gave
+him great uneasiness, and that he afterward reposed himself on a soft
+bed of roses, from which there sprung a serpent that wounded him to the
+heart with its sharp venomed fangs. "Alas," said he, "I have long lain
+on these dry and prickly herbs, I am now on the bed of roses; but what
+shall be the serpent?"
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+JEALOUSY.
+
+
+Zadig's calamities sprung even from his happiness, and especially from
+his merit. He every day conversed with the king and his august consort.
+The charms of Zadig's conversation were greatly heightened by that
+desire of pleasing which is to the mind what dress is to beauty. His
+youth and graceful appearance insensibly made an impression on Astarte,
+which she did not at first perceive. Her passion grew and flourished in
+the bosom of innocence. Without fear or scruple, she indulged the
+pleasing satisfaction of seeing and hearing a man who was so dear to her
+husband, and to the empire in general. She was continually praising him
+to the king. She talked of him to her women, who were always sure to
+improve on her praises. And thus everything contributed to pierce her
+heart with a dart, of which she did not seem to be sensible. She made
+several presents to Zadig, which discovered a greater spirit of
+gallantry than she imagined. She intended to speak to him only as a
+queen satisfied with his services; and her expressions were sometimes
+those of a woman in love.
+
+Astarte was much more beautiful than that Semira who had such a strong
+aversion to one-eyed men, or that other woman who had resolved to cut
+off her husband's nose. Her unreserved familiarity, her tender
+expressions, at which she began to blush; and her eyes, which, though
+she endeavored to divert them to other objects, were always fixed upon
+his, inspired Zadig with a passion that filled him with astonishment. He
+struggled hard to get the better of it. He called to his aid the
+precepts of philosophy, which had always stood him in stead; but from
+thence, though he could derive the light of knowledge, he could procure
+no remedy to cure the disorders of his love-sick heart. Duty, gratitude,
+and violated majesty, presented themselves to his mind, as so many
+avenging gods. He struggled, he conquered. But this victory, which he
+was obliged to purchase afresh every moment, cost him many sighs and
+tears. He no longer dared to speak to the queen with that sweet and
+charming familiarity which had been so agreeable to them both. His
+countenance was covered with a cloud. His conversation was constrained
+and incoherent. His eyes were fixed on the ground; and when, in spite of
+all his endeavors to the contrary, they encountered those of the queen,
+they found them bathed in tears, and darting arrows of flame. They
+seemed to say, We adore each other, and yet are afraid to love; we are
+consumed with a passion which we both condemn.
+
+Zadig left the royal presence full of perplexity and despair, and having
+his heart oppressed with a burden which he was no longer able to bear.
+In the violence of his perturbation he involuntarily betrayed the secret
+to his friend Cador, in the same manner as a man, who, having long
+endured a cruel disease, discovers his pain by a cry extorted from him
+by a more severe attack, and by the cold sweat that covers his brow.
+
+"I have already discovered," said Cador, "the sentiments which thou
+wouldst fain conceal from thyself. The symptoms by which the passions
+show themselves are certain and infallible. Judge, my dear Zadig, since
+I have read thy heart, whether the king will not discover something in
+it that may give him offence. He has no other fault but that of being
+the most jealous man in the world. Thou canst resist the violence of thy
+passion with greater fortitude than the queen, because thou art a
+philosopher, and because thou art Zadig. Astarte is a woman. She suffers
+her eyes to speak with so much the more imprudence, as she does not as
+yet think herself guilty. Conscious of her own innocence, she unhappily
+neglects those external appearances which are so necessary. I shall
+tremble for her so long as she has nothing wherewithal to reproach
+herself. A growing passion which we endeavor to suppress, discovers
+itself in spite of all our efforts to the contrary."
+
+Meanwhile, the queen mentioned the name of Zadig so frequently, and with
+such a blushing and downcast look. She was sometimes so lively, and
+sometimes so perplexed, when she spoke to him in the king's presence,
+and was seized with such a deep thoughtfulness at his going away, that
+the king began to be troubled. He believed all that he saw, and imagined
+all that he did not see. He particularly remarked, that his wife's shoes
+were blue, and that Zadig's shoes were blue; that his wife's ribbons
+were yellow, and that Zadig's bonnet was yellow, and these were terrible
+symptoms to a prince of so much delicacy. In his jealous mind suspicion
+was turned into certainty.
+
+All the slaves of kings and queens are so many spies over their hearts.
+They soon observed that Astarte was tender, and that Moabdar was
+jealous. The envious man persuaded his wife to send anonymously to the
+king her garter, which resembled those of the queen; and to complete the
+misfortune, this garter was blue. The monarch now thought of nothing but
+in what manner he might best execute his vengeance. He one night
+resolved to poison the queen, and in the morning to put Zadig to death
+by the bowstring. The orders were given to a merciless eunuch, who
+commonly executed his acts of vengeance.
+
+There happened at that time to be in the king's chamber a little dwarf,
+who, though dumb, was not deaf. He was allowed, on account of his
+insignificance, to go wherever he pleased; and, as a domestic animal,
+was a witness of what passed in the most profound secrecy.
+
+This little mute was strongly attached to the queen and Zadig. With
+equal horror and surprise, he heard the cruel orders given; but how
+could he prevent the fatal sentence that in a few hours was to be
+carried into execution? He could not write, but he could paint; and
+excelled particularly in drawing a striking resemblance. He employed a
+part of the night in sketching out with his pencil what he meant to
+impart to the queen. The piece represented the king in one corner,
+boiling with rage, and giving orders to the eunuch; a blue bowstring,
+and a bowl on a table, with blue garters and yellow ribbons; the queen
+in the middle of the picture, expiring in the arms of her woman, and
+Zadig strangled at her feet. The horizon represented a rising sun, to
+express that this shocking execution was to be performed in the morning.
+As soon as he had finished the picture, he ran to one of Astarte's
+women, awoke her, and made her understand that she must immediately
+carry it to the queen.
+
+At midnight a messenger knocks at Zadig's door, awakes him, and gives
+him a note from the queen. He doubts whether it is not a dream; and
+opens the letter with a trembling hand. But how great was his surprise,
+and who can express the consternation and despair into which he was
+thrown upon reading these words? "Fly, this instant, or thou art a dead
+man! Fly, Zadig, I conjure thee by our mutual love and my yellow
+ribbons. I have not been guilty, but I find that I must die like a
+criminal."
+
+Zadig was hardly able to speak. He sent for Cador, and, without uttering
+a word, gave him the note. Cador forced him to obey, and forthwith to
+take the road to Memphis.
+
+"Shouldst thou dare," said he, "to go in search of the queen, thou wilt
+hasten her death. Shouldst thou speak to the king, thou wilt infallibly
+ruin her. I will take upon me the charge of her destiny; follow thy own.
+I will spread a report that thou hast taken the road to India. I will
+soon follow thee, and inform thee of all that shall have passed in
+Babylon."
+
+At that instant, Cador caused two of the swiftest dromedaries to be
+brought to a private gate of the palace. Upon one of these he mounted
+Zadig, whom he was obliged to carry to the door, and who was ready to
+expire with grief. He was accompanied by a single domestic, and Cador,
+plunged in sorrow and astonishment, soon lost sight of his friend.
+
+This illustrious fugitive arriving on the side of a hill, from whence he
+could take a view of Babylon, turned his eyes toward the queen's palace,
+and fainted away at the sight; nor did he recover his senses but to shed
+a torrent of tears, and to wish for death. At length, after his thoughts
+had been long engrossed in lamenting the unhappy fate of the loveliest
+woman and the greatest queen in the world, he for a moment turned his
+views on himself, and cried:
+
+"What then is human life? O virtue, how hast thou served me? Two women
+have basely deceived me; and now a third, who is innocent, and more
+beautiful than both the others, is going to be put to death! Whatever
+good I have done hath been to me a continual source of calamity and
+affliction; and I have only been raised to the height of grandeur, to be
+tumbled down the most horrid precipice of misfortune."
+
+Filled with these gloomy reflections, his eyes overspread with the veil
+of grief, his countenance covered with the paleness of death, and his
+soul plunged in an abyss of the blackest despair, he continued his
+journey toward Egypt.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+THE WOMAN BEATER.
+
+
+Zadig directed his course by the stars. The constellation of Orion, and
+the splendid Dogstars, guided his steps toward the pole of Canopæa. He
+admired those vast globes of light which appear to our eyes as so many
+little sparks, while the earth, which in reality is only an
+imperceptible point in nature, appears to our fond imaginations as
+something so grand and noble. He then represented to himself the human
+species, as it really is, as a parcel of insects devouring one another
+on a little atom of clay. This true image seemed to annihilate his
+misfortunes, by making him sensible of the nothingness of his own being,
+and that of Babylon. His soul launched out into infinity, and detached
+from the senses, contemplated the immutable order of the universe. But
+when afterward, returning to himself, and entering into his own heart,
+he considered that Astarte had perhaps died for him, the universe
+vanished from his sight, and he beheld nothing in the whole compass of
+nature but Astarte expiring, and Zadig unhappy.
+
+While he thus alternately gave up his mind to this flux and reflux of
+sublime philosophy and intolerable grief, he advanced toward the
+frontiers of Egypt; and his faithful domestic was already in the first
+village, in search of a lodging.
+
+Meanwhile, as Zadig was walking toward the gardens that skirted the
+village, he saw, at a small distance from the highway, a woman bathed in
+tears and calling heaven and earth to her assistance, and a man in a
+furious passion pursuing her.
+
+This madman had already overtaken the woman, who embraced his knees,
+notwithstanding which he loaded her with blows and reproaches. Zadig
+judged by the frantic behavior of the Egyptian, and by the repeated
+pardons which the lady asked him, that the one was jealous, and the
+other unfaithful. But when he surveyed the woman more narrowly, and
+found her to be a lady of exquisite beauty, and even to have a strong
+resemblance to the unhappy Astarte, he felt himself inspired with
+compassion for her, and horror toward the Egyptian.
+
+"Assist me," cried she to Zadig, with the deepest sighs, "deliver me
+from the hands of the most barbarous man in the world. Save my life."
+
+Moved by these pitiful cries, Zadig ran and threw himself between her
+and the barbarian. As he had some knowledge of the Egyptian language, he
+addressed him in that tongue.
+
+"If," said he, "thou hast any humanity, I conjure thee to pay some
+regard to her beauty and weakness. How canst thou behave in this
+outrageous manner to one of the masterpieces of nature, who lies at thy
+feet, and hath no defence but her tears?"
+
+"Ah, ah!" replied the madman, "thou art likewise in love with her. I
+must be revenged on thee too."
+
+So saying, he left the lady, whom he had hitherto held with his hand
+twisted in her hair, and taking his lance attempted to stab the
+stranger. Zadig, who was in cold blood, easily eluded the blow aimed by
+the frantic Egyptian. He seized the lance near the iron with which it
+was armed. The Egyptian strove to draw it back; Zadig to wrest it from
+the Egyptian; and in the struggle it was broken in two. The Egyptian
+draws his sword; Zadig does the same. They attack each other. The former
+gives a hundred blows at random; the latter wards them off with great
+dexterity. The lady, seated on a turf, re-adjusts her head-dress, and
+looks at the combatants. The Egyptian excelled in strength: Zadig in
+address. The one fought like a man whose arm was directed by his
+judgment; the other like a madman, whose blind rage made him deal his
+blows at random. Zadig closes with him, and disarms him; and while the
+Egyptian, now become more furious, endeavors to throw himself upon him,
+he seizes him, presses him close, and throws him down; and then holding
+his sword to his breast, offers him his life. The Egyptian, frantic with
+rage, draws his poniard, and wounds Zadig at the very instant that the
+conqueror was granting a pardon. Zadig, provoked at such brutal
+behavior, plunged his sword in the bosom of the Egyptian, who giving a
+horrible shriek and a violent struggle, instantly expired. Zadig then
+approached the lady, and said to her with a gentle tone:
+
+"He hath forced me to kill him. I have avenged thy cause. Thou art now
+delivered from the most violent man I ever saw. What further, madam,
+wouldest thou have me do for thee?
+
+"Die, villain," replied she, "thou hast killed my lover. O that I were
+able to tear out thy heart!"
+
+"Why truly, madam," said Zadig, "thou hadst a strange kind of a man for
+a lover; he beat thee with all his might, and would have killed thee,
+because thou hadst entreated me to give thee assistance."
+
+"I wish he were beating me still," replied the lady with tears and
+lamentation. "I well deserved it; for I had given him cause to be
+jealous. Would to heaven that he was now beating me, and that thou wast
+in his place."
+
+Zadig, struck with surprise, and inflamed with a higher degree of
+resentment than he had ever felt before, said:
+
+"Beautiful as thou art, madam, thou deservest that I should beat thee in
+my turn for thy perverse and impertinent behavior. But I shall not give
+myself the trouble."
+
+So saying, he remounted his camel, and advanced toward the town. He had
+proceeded but a few steps, when he turned back at the noise of four
+Babylonian couriers, who came riding at full gallop. One of them, upon
+seeing the woman, cried:
+
+"It is the very same. She resembles the description that was given us."
+
+They gave themselves no concern about the dead Egyptian, but instantly
+seized the lady. She called out to Zadig:
+
+"Help me once more, generous stranger. I ask pardon for having
+complained of thy conduct. Deliver me again, and I will be thine for
+ever."
+
+Zadig was no longer in the humor of fighting for her.
+
+"Apply to another," said he, "thou shalt not again ensnare me in thy
+wiles."
+
+Besides, he was wounded; his blood was still flowing, and he himself had
+need of assistance: and the sight of four Babylonians, probably sent by
+King Moabdar, filled him with apprehension. He therefore hastened toward
+the village, unable to comprehend why four Babylonian couriers should
+come and seize this Egyptian woman, but still more astonished at the
+lady's behavior.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+SLAVERY.
+
+
+As he entered the Egyptian village, he saw himself surrounded by the
+people. Every one said:
+
+"This is the man who carried off the beautiful Missouf, and assassinated
+Clitofis."
+
+"Gentleman," said he, "God preserve me from carrying off your beautiful
+Missouf. She is too capricious for me. And with regard to Clitofis, I
+did not assassinate him, I only fought with him in my own defence. He
+endeavored to kill me, because I humbly interceded for the beautiful
+Missouf, whom he beat most unmercifully. I am a stranger, come to seek
+refuge in Egypt; and it is not likely, that in coming to implore your
+protection, I should begin by carrying off a woman, and assassinating a
+man."
+
+The Egyptians were then just and humane. The people conducted Zadig to
+the town-house. They first of all ordered his wound to be dressed, and
+then examined him and his servant apart, in order to discover the truth.
+They found that Zadig was not an assassin; but as he was guilty of
+having killed a man, the law condemned him to be a slave. His two camels
+were sold for the benefit of the town: all the gold he had brought with
+him was distributed among the inhabitants; and his person, as well as
+that of the companion of his journey, was exposed for sale in the
+market-place. An Arabian merchant, named Setoc, made the purchase; but
+as the servant was fitter for labor than the master, he was sold at a
+higher price. There was no comparison between the two men. Thus Zadig
+became a slave subordinate to his own servant. They were linked together
+by a chain fastened to their feet, and in this condition they followed
+the Arabian merchant to his house.
+
+By the way Zadig comforted his servant, and exhorted him to patience;
+but he could not help making, according to his usual custom, some
+reflections on human life. "I see," said he, "that the unhappiness of my
+fate hath an influence on thine. Hitherto everything has turned out to
+me in a most unaccountable manner. I have been condemned to pay a fine
+for having seen the marks of a bitch's feet. I thought that I should
+once have been empaled alive on account of a griffin. I have been sent
+to execution for having made some verses in praise of the king. I have
+been on the point of being strangled, because the queen had yellow
+ribbons; and now I am a slave with thee, because a brutal wretch beat
+his mistress. Come, let us keep a good heart; all this will perhaps have
+an end. The Arabian merchants must necessarily have slaves; and why not
+me as well as another, since, as well as another, I am a man? This
+merchant will not be cruel. He must treat his slaves well if he expects
+any advantage from them."
+
+But while he spoke thus, his heart was entirely engrossed by the fate of
+the queen of Babylon.
+
+Two days after, the merchant Setoc set out for Arabia Deserta, with his
+slaves and his camels. His tribe dwelt near the desert of Oreb. The
+journey was long and painful. Setoc set a much greater value on the
+servant than the master, because the former was more expert in loading
+the camels, and all the little marks of distinction were shown to him. A
+camel having died within two days journey of Oreb, his burden was
+divided and laid on the backs of the servants; and Zadig had his share
+among the rest. Setoc laughed to see all his slaves walking with their
+bodies inclined. Zadig took the liberty to explain to him the cause, and
+inform him of the laws of the balance. The merchant was astonished, and
+began to regard him with other eyes. Zadig, finding he had raised his
+curiosity, increased it still further by acquainting him with many
+things that related to commerce; the specific gravity of metals and
+commodities under an equal bulk; the properties of several useful
+animals; and the means of rendering those useful that are not naturally
+so.
+
+At last Setoc began to consider Zadig as a sage, and preferred him to
+his companion, whom he had formerly so much esteemed. He treated him
+well, and had no cause to repent of his kindness.
+
+As soon as Setoc arrived among his own tribe he demanded the payment of
+five hundred ounces of silver, which he had lent to a Jew in presence of
+two witnesses; but as the witnesses were dead, and the debt could not be
+proved, the Hebrew appropriated the merchant's money to himself, and
+piously thanked God for putting it in his power to cheat an Arabian.
+Setoc imparted this troublesome affair to Zadig, who had now become his
+counsel.
+
+"In what place," said Zadig, "didst thou lend the five hundred ounces to
+this infidel?"
+
+"Upon a large stone," replied the merchant, "that lies near the mountain
+of Oreb."
+
+"What is the character of thy debter?" said Zadig.
+
+"That of a knave," returned Setoc.
+
+"But I ask thee, whether he is lively or phlegmatic; cautious or
+imprudent?"
+
+"He is, of all bad payers," said Setoc, "the most lively fellow I ever
+knew."
+
+"Well," resumed Zadig, "allow me to plead thy cause."
+
+In effect, Zadig having summoned the Jew to the tribunal, addressed the
+judge in the following terms:
+
+"Pillow of the throne of equity, I come to demand of this man, in the
+name of my master, five hundred ounces of silver, which he refuses to
+repay."
+
+"Hast thou any witnesses?" said the judge.
+
+"No, they are dead; but there remains a large stone upon which the money
+was counted; and if it please thy grandeur to order the stone to be
+sought for, I hope that it will bear witness. The Hebrew and I will
+tarry here till the stone arrives. I will send for it at my master's
+expense."
+
+"With all my heart," replied the judge, and immediately applied himself
+to the discussion of other affairs.
+
+When the court was going to break up, the judge said to Zadig:
+
+"Well, friend, hath not thy stone yet arrived?"
+
+The Hebrew replied with a smile:
+
+"Thy grandeur may stay here till to-morrow, and after all not see the
+stone. It is more than six miles from hence and it would require fifteen
+men to move it."
+
+"Well," cried Zadig, "did I not say that the stone would bear witness?
+Since this man knows where it is, he thereby confesses that it was upon
+it that the money was counted."
+
+The Hebrew was disconcerted, and was soon after obliged to confess the
+truth. The judge ordered him to be fastened to the stone, without meat
+or drink, till he should restore the five hundred ounces, which were
+soon after paid.
+
+The slave Zadig and the stone were held in great repute in Arabia.
+
+[Illustration: Egyptian archer.]
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+THE FUNERAL PILE.
+
+
+Setoc, charmed with the happy issue of this affair, made his slave his
+intimate friend. He had now conceived as great an esteem for him as ever
+the king of Babylon had done; and Zadig was glad that Setoc had no wife.
+He discovered in his master a good natural disposition, much probity of
+heart, and a great share of good sense; but he was sorry to see that,
+according to the ancient custom of Arabia, he adored the host of heaven;
+that is, the sun, moon, and stars. He sometimes spoke to him on this
+subject with great prudence and discretion. At last he told him that
+these bodies were like all other bodies in the universe, and no more
+deserving of our homage than a tree or a rock.
+
+"But," said Setoc, "they are eternal beings; and it is from them we
+derive all we enjoy. They animate nature; they regulate the seasons;
+and, besides, are removed at such an immense distance from us, that we
+cannot help revering them."
+
+"Thou receivest more advantage," replied Zadig, "from the waters of the
+Red Sea, which carry thy merchandize to the Indies. Why may not it be as
+ancient as the stars? and if thou adorest what is placed at a distance
+from thee, thou shouldest adore the land of the Gangarides, which lies
+at the extremity of the earth."
+
+"No," said Setoc, "the brightness of the stars commands my adoration."
+
+At night Zadig lighted up a great number of candles in the tent where he
+was to sup with Setoc; and the moment his patron appeared, he fell on
+his knees before these lighted tapers, and said:
+
+"Eternal and shining luminaries! be ye always propitious to me."
+
+Having thus said, he sat down at the table, without taking the least
+notice of Setoc.
+
+"What art thou doing?" said Setoc in amaze[TR: amazement?].
+
+"I act like thee," replied Zadig, "I adore these candles, and neglect
+their master and mine."
+
+Setoc comprehended the profound sense of this apologue. The wisdom of
+his slave sunk deep into his soul. He no longer offered incense to the
+creatures, but he adored the eternal Being who made them.
+
+There prevailed at that time in Arabia a shocking custom, sprung
+originally from Scythia, and which, being established in the Indies by
+the credit of the Brahmins, threatened to over-run all the East. When a
+married man died, and his beloved wife aspired to the character of a
+saint, she burned herself publicly on the body of her husband. This was
+a solemn feast, and was called the Funeral Pile of Widowhood; and that
+tribe in which most women had been burned was the most respected. An
+Arabian of Setoc's tribe being dead, his widow, whose name was Almona,
+and who was very devout, published the day and hour when she intended to
+throw herself into the fire, amidst the sound of drums and trumpets.
+
+Zadig remonstrated against this horrible custom. He showed Setoc how
+inconsistent it was with the happiness of mankind to suffer young widows
+to burn themselves--widows who were capable of giving children to the
+state, or at least of educating those they already had; and he convinced
+him that it was his duty to do all that lay in his power to abolish such
+a barbarous practice.
+
+"The women," said Setoc, "have possessed the right of burning themselves
+for more than a thousand years; and who shall dare to abrogate a law
+which time hath rendered sacred? Is there anything more respectable than
+ancient abuses?"
+
+"Reason is more ancient," replied Zadig: "meanwhile, speak thou to the
+chiefs of the tribes, and I will go to wait on the young widow."
+
+Accordingly, he was introduced to her, and after having insinuated
+himself into her good graces by some compliments on her beauty, and told
+her what a pity it was to commit so many charms to the flames, he at
+last praised her for her constancy and courage.
+
+"Thou must surely have loved thy husband," said he to her, "with the
+most passionate fondness."
+
+"Who, I?" replied the lady, "I loved him not at all. He was a brutal,
+jealous, and insupportable wretch; but I am firmly resolved to throw
+myself on his funeral pile."
+
+[Illustration: The funeral pyre.--"The women," said Setoc, "have
+possessed the right of burning themselves for more than a thousand
+years; and who shall dare to abrogate a law which time hath rendered
+sacred? Is there anything more respectable than ancient abuses?"]
+
+"It would appear then," said Zadig, "that there must be a very delicious
+pleasure in being burnt alive."
+
+"Oh! it makes me shudder," replied the lady, "but that must be
+overlooked. I am a devotee; I should lose my reputation; and all the
+world would despise me, if I did not burn myself."
+
+Zadig having made her acknowledge that she burned herself to gain the
+good opinion of others, and to gratify her own vanity, entertained her
+with a long discourse calculated to make her a little in love with life,
+and even went so far as to inspire her with some degree of good will for
+the person who spoke to her.
+
+"And what wilt thou do at last," said he, "if the vanity of burning
+thyself should not continue?"
+
+"Alas!" said the lady, "I believe I should desire thee to marry me."
+
+Zadig's mind was too much engrossed with the idea of Astarte not to
+elude this declaration; but he instantly went to the chiefs of the
+tribes, told them what had passed, and advised them to make a law by
+which a widow should not be permitted to burn herself, till she had
+conversed privately with a young man for the space of an hour. Since
+that time not a single widow hath burned herself in Arabia. They were
+indebted to Zadig alone for destroying in one day a cruel custom that
+had lasted for so many ages; and thus he became the benefactor of
+Arabia.
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+THE SUPPER.
+
+
+Setoc, who could not separate himself from this man in whom dwelt
+wisdom, carried Zadig to the great fair of Balzora, whither the richest
+merchants of the earth resorted. Zadig was highly pleased to see so many
+men of different countries united in the same place. He considered the
+whole universe as one large family assembled at Balzora. The second day
+he sat at table with an Egyptian, an Indian, an inhabitant of Cathay, a
+Greek, a Celtic, and several other strangers, who, in their frequent
+voyages to the Arabian Gulf, had learned enough of the Arabic to make
+themselves understood.
+
+The Egyptian seemed to be in a violent passion. "What an abominable
+country," said he, "is Balzora! They refuse me a thousand ounces of gold
+on the best security in the world."
+
+"How!" said Setoc. "On what security have they refused thee this sum?"
+
+"On the body of my aunt," replied the Egyptian. "She was the most
+notable woman in Egypt; she always accompanied me in my journeys; she
+died on the road. I have converted her into one of the nest mummies in
+the world; and in my own country I could obtain any amount by giving her
+as a pledge. It is very strange that they will not here lend me a
+thousand ounces of gold on such a solid security."
+
+Angry as he was, he was going to help himself to a bit of excellent
+boiled fowl, when the Indian, taking him by the hand, cried out in a
+sorrowful tone, "Ah! what art thou going to do?"
+
+"To eat a bit of this fowl," replied the man who owned the mummy.
+
+"Take care that thou dost not," replied the Indian. "It is possible that
+the soul of the deceased may have passed into this fowl; and thou
+wouldst not, surely, expose thyself to the danger of eating thy aunt? To
+boil fowls is a manifest outrage on nature."
+
+"What dost thou mean by thy nature and thy fowls?" replied the choleric
+Egyptian. "We adore a bull, and yet we eat heartily of beef."
+
+"You adore a bull! is it possible?" said the Indian.
+
+"Nothing is more possible," returned the other; "we have done so for
+these hundred and thirty-five thousand years; and nobody amongst us has
+ever found fault with it."
+
+"A hundred and thirty-five thousand years!" said the Indian. "This
+account is a little exaggerated. It is but eighty thousand years since
+India was first peopled, and we are surely more ancient than you are.
+Brahma prohibited our eating of ox-flesh before you thought of putting
+it on your spits or altars."
+
+[Illustration: Oannes--the Fish God.--"Thou art mistaken," said a
+Chaldean. "It is to the fish Oannes that we owe these great advantages;
+and it is just that we should render homage to none but him. All the
+world will tell thee, that he is a divine being, with a golden tail, and
+a beautiful human head; and that for three hours every day he left the
+water to preach on dry land."]
+
+
+
+
+     OANNES--THE FISH AVATAR.
+
+     "The accompanying engraving of the fish-god is from a drawing by
+     Gentil, given in _Calmet's Dictionary_. The god was worshiped under
+     the name of Dagon by the Syrians, and Oannes by the Chaldeans. The
+     image represented the body of a fish with the head and arms of a
+     man; and while all figures of the god are not exactly alike, they
+     all combine a human form with that of a fish.
+
+     "Owing to the precession of the equinoxes," says the Rev. Mr.
+     Maurice in the _Antiquities of India_, "after the rate of
+     seventy-two years to a degree, a total alteration has taken place
+     through all the signs of the ecliptic, insomuch that those stars
+     which formerly were in Aries have now got into Taurus, and those of
+     Taurus into Gemini. Now the vernal equinox, after the rate of that
+     precession, could not have coincided with the first of May less
+     than 4000 years before Christ."
+
+     An Avatar in the form of the celestial _Taurus_ (♉) then occurred,
+     and Osiris was worshiped in the form of a bull, by credulous
+     believers. Next in the course of revolving years, we have the
+     celestial _Aries_, (♈) and the god then became incarnate in the
+     form of a lamb, and in that form received the adoration of devout
+     multitudes. Later still the Zodiacal sign had progressed to
+     _Pisces_, (♓) and mankind were then called upon to worship the
+     astrological emblem of the amphibious being called Oannes--the
+     sacred god of the land and the sea--whose representative on earth
+     still claims to be the _Great Fisherman_, and who has entangled in
+     the meshes of his net of faith the intellects and consciences of
+     innumerable devotees.
+
+     "In Berosus and other authors," says Godfrey Higgins in the
+     _Anacalypsis_, "the being half man, half fish, called Oannes, is
+     said to have come out of the Erythræan Sea, and to have taught the
+     Babylonians all kinds of useful knowledge. This is clearly the fish
+     Avatar of India; whether or not it be the I-oannes of Jonas I leave
+     to the reader. I apprehend it is the same as the Dagon of Pegu and
+     the fish sign of the Zodiac. Very little is known about it, but it
+     exactly answers the description of an Avatar.
+
+     "The apostles of Jesus, I believe, were most of them fishermen.
+     There are many stories of miraculous draughts of fish, and other
+     matters connected with fishes, in the Gospel histories; and Peter,
+     the son of John, I-oannes or Oannes, the great fisherman, inherited
+     the power of ruling the church from the Lamb of God. The fisherman
+     succeeded to the shepherd. The Pope calls himself the great
+     fisherman, and boasts of the contents of his Poitrine.
+
+     "In the Pentateuch, which is the sacred book of the Israelites, we
+     meet with no Dagon, Fish or God. But we do meet with it in the book
+     of Judges. I believe this Dagon to be the fish Avatar of India--the
+     Dagon of Syrian in Pegu; in fact the emblem of the entrance of the
+     sun into Pisces.
+
+     "In the earliest time, perhaps, of which we have any history, God
+     the creator was adored under the form or emblem of a Bull. After
+     that, we read of him under the form of a calf or two calves,
+     afterward in the form of the Ram and the Lamb, and the devotees
+     were called lambs: then came the fish or two fishes. It is a fact,
+     not a theory, that he was called a fish, and that the devotees were
+     called Pisciculi or little fishes. I suppose few persons will
+     attribute these appearances of system to accident. As we have
+     _lambs_ and _little fishes_ in the followers of the Ram, Aries, and
+     the constellation Pisces, it is only in character to have the
+     followers of the Bull called _calves_, and I am by no means certain
+     that we have not them in the Cyclops.
+
+     "At first, no doubt, my reader will be very much surprised at the
+     idea of the devotees having converted Jesus into the _fish_ Avatar:
+     but why was he called the lamb? And why were his followers called
+     his flock, and his sheep, and his lambs? Not many circumstances are
+     more striking than that of Jesus Christ being originally worshiped
+     under the form of a Lamb--the actual lamb of God which taketh away
+     the sins of the world. It does not appear to me to be more
+     extraordinary that his followers, as it is admitted that they did,
+     should call him a _fish_ and the believers in him pisciculi, than
+     that they should call him a lamb, and his followers lambs. He was
+     originally represented as a lamb until one of the popes changed his
+     effigy to that of a man on a cross. Applying the astronomical
+     emblem of Pisces (♓) to Jesus, does not seem more absurd than
+     applying the astronomical emblem of the Lamb (♈) They applied to
+     him the monogram of Bacchus, ΙΗΣ; the astrological and alchymical
+     mark or sign of Aries, or the Ram (♈) and, in short, what was there
+     that was Heathenish that they have not applied to him? They have
+     actually loaded his simple and sublime religion with every
+     absurdity of Gentilism. I know not one absurdity that can be
+     excepted."
+
+     In one of the windows of the Magnificent Cathedral of the
+     Incarnation, erected by Mrs. A.T. Stewart, at Garden City, N.Y., is
+     a painting representing the Sea of Tiberias. The "risen Lord,"
+     clothed in rich robes of green, scarlet, and gold, is standing on
+     the seashore, with four of the apostles. Prominent among them is
+     the _great fisherman_ St. Peter, who is grasping the end of a
+     seine. In the background is seen the mast and rigging of a fishing
+     boat. At the feet of Christ a fire is burning, and on the coals are
+     _two fishes_, like the two fishes in the Zodiacal sign _Pisces_
+     (♓). The artist has thus reproduced the ancient myth, regardless of
+     its astrological origin, and the mythical fishes of the zodiac,
+     with other ancient Pagan emblems, now symbolize Christian faith in
+     the so-called Cathedral of the Incarnation.--E.
+
+
+
+"This Brahma of yours," said the Egyptian, "is a pleasant sort of an
+animal, truly, to compare with our Apis. What great things hath your
+Brahma done?"
+
+"It was he," replied the Brahmin, "that taught mankind to read and
+write, and to whom the world is indebted for the game of chess."
+
+"Thou art mistaken," said a Chaldean who sat near him. "It is to the
+fish Oannes that we owe these great advantages; and it is just that we
+should render homage to none but him. All the world will tell thee, that
+he is a divine being, with a golden tail, and a beautiful human head;
+and that for three hours every day he left the water to preach on dry
+land. He had several children, who were kings, as every one knows. I
+have a picture of him at home, which I worship with becoming reverence.
+We may eat as much beef as we please; but it is surely a great sin to
+dress fish for the table. Besides, you are both of an origin too recent
+and ignoble to dispute with me. The Egyptians reckon only a hundred and
+thirty-five thousand years, and the Indians but eighty thousand, while
+we have almanacs of four thousand ages. Believe me; renounce your
+follies; and I will give to each of you a beautiful picture of Oannes."
+
+The man of Cathay took up the discourse, and said:
+
+"I have a great respect for the Egyptians, the Chaldeans, the Greeks,
+the Celtics, Brahma, the bull Apis, and the beautiful fish Oannes; but I
+could think that Li, or Tien, as he is commonly called, is superior to
+all the bulls on the earth, or all the fish in the sea. I shall say
+nothing of my native country; it is as large as Egypt, Chaldea, and the
+Indies put together. Neither shall I dispute about the antiquity of our
+nation; because it is of little consequence whether we are ancient or
+not; it is enough if we are happy. But were it necessary to speak of
+almanacs, I could say that all Asia takes ours, and that we had very
+good ones before arithmetic was known in Chaldea."
+
+"Ignorant men, as ye all are," said the Greek; "do you not know that
+Chaos is the father of all; and that form and matter have put the world
+into its present condition?"
+
+The Greek spoke for a long time, but was at last interrupted by the
+Celtic, who, having drank pretty deeply while the rest were disputing,
+imagined he was now more knowing than all the others, and said, with an
+oath, that there were none but Teutat and the mistletoe of the oak that
+were worth the trouble of a dispute; that, for his own part, he had
+always some mistletoe in his pocket, and that the Scythians, his
+ancestors, were the only men of merit that had ever appeared in the
+world; that it was true they had sometimes eaten human flesh, but that,
+notwithstanding this circumstance, his nation deserved to be held in
+great esteem; and that, in fine, if any one spoke ill of Teutat, he
+would teach him better manners.
+
+The quarrel had now become warm, and Setoc feared the table would be
+stained with blood.
+
+Zadig, who had been silent during the whole dispute, arose at last. He
+first addressed himself to the Celtic, as the most furious of the
+disputants. He told him that he had reason on his side, and begged a few
+mistletoes. He then praised the Greek for his eloquence, and softened
+all their exasperated spirits. He said but little to the man of Cathay,
+because he had been the most reasonable of them all. At last he said:
+
+"You were going, my friends, to quarrel about nothing; for you are all
+of one mind."
+
+At this assertion they all cried out in dissent.
+
+"Is it not true," said he to the Celtic, "that you adore not this
+mistletoe, but him that made both the mistletoe and the oak?"
+
+"Most undoubtedly," replied the Celtic.
+
+"And thou, Mr. Egyptian, dost not thou revere, in a certain bull, him
+who created the bulls?"
+
+"Yes," said the Egyptian.
+
+"The fish Oannes," continued he, "must yield to him who made the sea and
+the fishes. The Indian and the Cathaian," added he, "acknowledge a first
+principle. I did not fully comprehend the admirable things that were
+said by the Greek; but I am sure he will admit a superior being on whom
+form and matter depend."
+
+The Greek, whom they all admired, said that Zadig had exactly taken his
+meaning.
+
+"You are all then," replied Zadig, "of one opinion and have no cause to
+quarrel."
+
+All the company embraced him.
+
+Setoc, after having sold his commodities at a very high price, returned
+to his own tribe with his friend Zadig; who learned, upon his arrival,
+that he had been tried in his absence and was now going to be burned by
+a slow fire.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.
+
+THE RENDEZVOUS.
+
+
+During his journey to Balzora the priests of the stars had resolved to
+punish Zadig. The precious stones and ornaments of the young widows whom
+they sent to the funeral pile belonged to them of right; and the least
+they could now do was to burn Zadig for the ill office he had done them.
+Accordingly they accused him of entertaining erroneous sentiments of the
+heavenly host. They deposed against him, and swore that they had heard
+him say that the stars did not set in the sea. This horrid blasphemy
+made the judges tremble; they were ready to tear their garments upon
+hearing these impious words; and they would certainly have torn them had
+Zadig had wherewithal to pay them for new ones. But, in the excess of
+their zeal and indignation, they contented themselves with condemning
+him to be burnt by a slow fire. Setoc, filled with despair at this
+unhappy event, employed all his interest to save his friend, but in
+vain. He was soon obliged to hold his peace. The young widow, Almona,
+who had now conceived a great fondness for life, for which she was
+obliged to Zadig, resolved to deliver him from the funeral pile, of the
+abuse of which he had fully convinced her. She resolved the scheme in
+her own mind, without imparting it to any person whatever. Zadig was to
+be executed the next day. If she could save him at all, she must do it
+that very night; and the method taken by this charitable and prudent
+lady was as follows:
+
+She perfumed herself, she heightened her beauty by the richest and
+gayest apparel, and went to demand an audience of the chief priest of
+the stars. As soon as she was introduced to the venerable old man, she
+addressed him in these terms:
+
+"Eldest son of the great bear, brother of the bull, and cousin of the
+great dog, (such were the titles of this pontiff,) I come to acquaint
+thee with my scruples. I am much afraid that I have committed a heinous
+crime in not burning myself on the funeral pile of my dear husband; for,
+indeed, what had I worth preserving? Perishable flesh, thou seest, that
+is already entirely withered." So saying, she drew up her long sleeves
+of silk, and showed her naked arms, which were of an elegant shape and a
+dazzling whiteness. "Thou seest," said she, that these are little worth.
+The priest found in his heart that they were worth a great deal. He
+swore that he had never in his life seen such beautiful arms. "Alas!"
+said the widow, "my arms, perhaps, are not so bad as the rest; but thou
+wilt confess that my neck is not worthy of the least regard." She then
+discovered the most charming neck that nature had ever formed. Compared
+to it a rose-bud on an apple of ivory would have appeared like madder on
+the box-tree, and the whiteness of new-washed lambs would have seemed of
+a dusky yellow. Her large black eyes, languishing with the gentle lustre
+of a tender fire; her cheeks animated with the finest pink, mixed with
+the whiteness of milk; her nose, which had no resemblance to the tower
+of Mount Lebanon; her lips, like two borders of coral, inclosing the
+nest pearls in the Arabian Sea; all conspired to make the old man fancy
+and believe that he was young again. Almona, seeing his admiration, now
+entreated him to pardon Zadig. "Alas!" said he, "my charming lady,
+should I grant thee his pardon, it would be of no service, as it must
+necessarily be signed by three others, my brethren." "Sign it, however,"
+said Almona. "With all my heart," said the priest. "Be pleased to visit
+me," said Almona, "when the bright star of Sheat shall appear in the
+horizon."
+
+Almona then went to the second pontiff. He assured her that the sun, the
+moon, and all the luminaries of heaven, were but glimmering meteors in
+comparison to her charms. She asked the same favor of him, and he also
+granted it readily. She then appointed the second pontiff to meet her at
+the rising of the star Algenib. From thence she went to the third and
+fourth priest, always taking their signatures, and making an appointment
+from star to star. She then sent a message to the judges, entreating
+them to come to her house on an affair of great importance. They
+obeyed her summons. She showed them the four names, and told them that
+the priests had granted the pardon of Zadig. Each of the pontiffs
+arrived at the hour appointed. Each was surprised at finding his
+brethren there, but still more at seeing the judges also present. Zadig
+was saved; and Setoc was so charmed with the skill and address of Almona
+that he at once made her his wife.
+
+[Illustration: Almona.--Almona, seeing his admiration, now entreated him
+to pardon Zadig. "Alas!" said he, "my charming lady, should I grant thee
+his pardon, it would be of no service, as it must necessarily be signed
+by three others, my brethren. Sign it, however," said Almona.]
+
+Business affairs now required Setoc's presence in the island of
+Serendib; but during the first month of his marriage--the month which is
+called the honeymoon--he could not permit himself to leave Almona, nor
+even to think he could ever leave her, and he requested Zadig to make
+the journey in his place. "Alas!" said Zadig, "must I put a still
+greater distance between the beautiful Astarte and myself? But it would
+be ungrateful not to serve my friend, and I will endeavor to do my
+duty."
+
+Setoc and Zadig now took leave of each other with tears in their eyes,
+both swearing an eternal friendship, and promising to always share their
+fortunes with each other. Zadig then, after having thrown himself at the
+feet of his fair deliverer, set out on his journey to Serendib, still
+musing on the unhappy Astarte, and meditating on the severity of
+fortune, which seemed to persistently make him the sport of her cruelty
+and the object of her persecution.
+
+"What!" said he to himself, "fined four hundred ounces of gold for
+having observed a bitch! condemned to lose my head for four bad verses
+in praise of the king! sentenced to be strangled because the queen had
+shoes the color of my turban! reduced to slavery for having succored a
+woman who was beaten! and on the point of being burned for having saved
+the lives of all the young widows of Arabia!"
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+XIII.(1)
+
+THE DANCE.
+
+
+Arriving in due time at the island of Serendib, Zadig's merits were at
+once recognized, and he was popularly regarded as an extraordinary man.
+He became the friend of the wise and learned, the arbitrator of
+disputes, and the advisor of the small number of those who were willing
+to take advice. He was duly presented to the king, who was pleased with
+his affability, and soon chose him for his friend. But this royal favor
+caused Zadig to tremble; for he well remembered the misfortunes which
+the kindness of king Moabdar had formerly brought upon him. "I please
+the king," said he; "shall I not therefore be lost?" Still he could not
+refuse the king's friendship, for it must be confessed that Nabussan,
+king of Serendib, son of Nassanab, son of Nabassun, son of Sanbusna, was
+one of the most amiable princes in Asia.
+
+But this good prince was always flattered, deceived, and robbed. It was
+a contest who should most pillage the royal treasury. The example set by
+the receiver-general of Serendib was universally followed by the
+inferior officers.
+
+This the king knew. He had often changed his treasurers, but had never
+been able to change the established custom of dividing the revenues into
+two unequal parts, of which the smaller came to his majesty, and the
+larger to his officers.
+
+This custom Nabussan explained to Zadig. "You, whose knowledge embraces
+so many subjects," said he, "can you not tell me how to select a
+treasurer who will not rob me?" "Assuredly," said Zadig; "I know a sure
+method for finding you a man who will keep his hands clean."
+
+The king was charmed, and asked, while he embraced him, how this was to
+be done.
+
+"You have only," said Zadig, "to cause all those who apply for the
+office of treasurer to dance. He who dances the lightest will surely
+prove to be the most honest man."
+
+"You jest," said the king. "A strange way, certainly, of choosing a
+receiver of my revenues. What! do you pretend that he who cuts the
+neatest caper will be the most just and skillful financier?"
+
+"I will not answer," returned Zadig, "for his being the most skillful,
+but I assure you he will be the most honest."
+
+Zadig spoke with so much confidence that the king imagined he had some
+supernatural test for selecting honest financiers.
+
+"I do not like the supernatural," said Zadig: "people and books dealing
+in prodigies have always displeased me. If your majesty will permit me
+to make the test, you will be convinced it is the easiest and simplest
+thing possible."
+
+Nabussan consented, and was more astonished to hear that the test was
+simple, than if it had been claimed as a miracle.
+
+"Leave all the details to me," said Zadig: "You will gain more by this
+trial than you imagine."
+
+The same day he made proclamation in the king's name, that all
+candidates for the office of receiver-in-chief of the revenues of his
+gracious majesty Nabussan, son of Nussanab, must present themselves in
+dresses of light silk, on the first day of the month of the crocodile,
+in the king's anti-chamber. The candidates came, accordingly, to the
+number of sixty-four. Musicians were placed in an adjoining room, and
+all was prepared for the dance. As the door of the saloon was closed, it
+was necessary, in order to enter it, to pass through a small gallery
+which was slightly darkened. An usher directed each candidate in
+succession through this obscure passage, in which he was left alone for
+some moments. The king, being aware of the plan, had temptingly spread
+out in this gallery many of his choicest treasures. When all the
+candidates were assembled in the saloon, the king ordered the band to
+play and the dance to begin. Never had dancers performed more
+unwillingly or with less grace. Their heads were down, their backs bent,
+their hands pressed to their sides.
+
+"What rascals!" murmured Zadig.
+
+One alone danced with grace and agility,--his head up, his look assured,
+his body erect, his arms free, his motions natural.
+
+"Ah, the honest man, the excellent man!" cried Zadig.
+
+The king embraced this upright dancer, appointed him treasurer, and
+punished all the others with the utmost justice, for each one had, while
+passing through the gallery, filled his pockets till he could hardly
+walk. His majesty was distressed at this exhibition of dishonesty, and
+regretted that among these sixty-four dancers there should be
+sixty-three thieves. This dark gallery was then named the Corridor of
+Temptation.
+
+In Persia these sixty-three lords would have been impaled; in other
+countries a chamber of justice would have consumed in costs three times
+the money stolen, replacing nothing in the king's coffers; in yet
+another kingdom they would have been honorably acquitted, and the light
+dancer disgraced; in Serendib they were only sentenced to add to the
+public treasure, for Nabussan was very indulgent.
+
+He was also very grateful, and willingly gave Zadig a larger sum than
+any treasurer had ever stolen from the revenue. This wealth Zadig used
+to send a courier to Babylon to learn the fate of queen Astarte. His
+voice trembled when directing the courier. His blood seemed to stagnate
+in his veins. His heart almost ceased to beat. His eyes were suffused
+with tears.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.(2)
+
+BLUE EYES.
+
+
+After the courier had gone, Zadig returned to the palace; and forgetting
+that he was not in his own room, almost unconsciously uttered the word
+LOVE.
+
+"Ah! love," exclaimed the king, "that is indeed the cause of my
+unhappiness. You have divined what it is that causes me pain. You are
+indeed a great man. I hope you will assist me in my search for a woman,
+perfect in all respects, and of whose affection I may feel assured. You
+have proved your ability for this service by selecting for me an honest
+financier, and I have entire confidence in your success."
+
+Zadig, having recovered his composure, promised to serve the king in
+love as he had in finance, although the task seemed to him far more
+difficult.
+
+"The body and the heart," said the king.
+
+At these words Zadig could not refrain from interrupting his majesty:
+"You show good taste," said he, "by not saying the mind and the heart;
+for we hear nothing but these words in the talk of Babylon. We see
+nothing but books which treat of the heart and mind, written by people
+who have neither the one nor the other: but pardon me, sire, and deign
+to continue."
+
+"I have in my palace," said the king, "one hundred women who are all
+called charming, graceful, beautiful, affectionate even, or pretending
+to be so when in my company; but I have too often realized that it is to
+the king of Serendib they pay court, and that they care very little for
+Nabussan. This pretended affection does not satisfy my desires. I would
+find a consort that loves me for myself, and who would willingly be all
+my own. For such a treasure I would joyfully barter the hundred
+beauties whose forced smiles afford me no delight. Let us see if out of
+these hundred queens you can select one true woman to bless me with her
+love."
+
+Zadig replied to him as he had previously done in regard to the
+finances: "Sire, allow me to make the attempt, and permit me to again
+use the treasure formerly displayed in the Corridor of Temptation. I
+will render you a faithful account."
+
+The king willingly acceded to this request, and permitted Zadig to do as
+he desired. He first chose thirty-three of the ugliest little hunchbacks
+that could be procured in Serendib, then thirty-three of the handsomest
+pages to be found, and, lastly, thirty-three bonzes, (priests), the most
+eloquent and robust he could select. He gave them all liberty to enter
+the king's private apartments in the palace, and secure a partner if
+they so desired. Each little hunchback had four thousand gold pieces
+given to him: and on the first day each had secured a companion. The
+pages, who had nothing to give but themselves, did not succeed in many
+cases until the end of two or three days. The priests had still more
+trouble in obtaining partners, but, finally, thirty-three devotees
+joined their fortunes with these pious suitors. The king, through the
+blinds which opened into his apartments, saw all these trials, and was
+astounded. Of these hundred women, ninety-nine discarded his protection.
+There still remained one, however, still quite young, with whom his
+majesty had never conversed. They sent to her one, two, three
+hunchbacks, who displayed before her twenty thousand pieces of gold. She
+still remained firm, and could not refrain from laughing at the idea of
+these cripples, that wealth could change their appearance. They then
+presented before her the two most beautiful pages. She said she thought
+the king was still more beautiful. They attacked her with the most
+eloquent of the priests, and afterward with the most audacious. She
+found the first a prattler, and could not perceive any merit in the
+second.
+
+"The heart," said she, "is everything. I will never yield to the
+hunchbacks' gold, the pages' vanity, or the pompous prattle of the
+priests. I love only Nabussan, son of Nussanab, and I will wait until he
+condescends to love me in return."
+
+The king was transported with joy, astonishment, and love. He took back
+all the money that had brought success to the hunchbacks, and made a
+present of it the beautiful Falide, which was the name of this charming
+lady. He gave her his heart, which she amply deserved, for never were
+glances from female eyes more brilliant than her own, nor the charms of
+youthful beauty more enchanting. Envy, it is true, asserted that she
+courtesied awkwardly; but candor compels the admission that she danced
+like the fairies, acted like the graces, sang like the sirens, and that
+she was in truth the very embodiment of intelligence and virtue.
+Nabussan loved and adored her; but, alas! she had BLUE EYES, and this
+apparently trivial fact was the cause of the gravest misfortunes.
+
+There was an old law in Serendib forbidding the kings to marry those to
+whom the Greeks applied the word [Greek: _boôpis_] _Βοῶπις_.[1] A
+high-priest had established this law thousands of years ago. He had
+anathematized blue eyes in order that he might secure for himself the
+hand of the king's favorite. The various orders of the empire now
+remonstrated with Nabussan for disregarding this organic law and loving
+the beautiful Falide. They publicly asserted that the last days of the
+kingdom had arrived--that this act of royal love was the height of
+sacrilege--that all nature was threatened with a sinister ending--and
+all because Nabussan, son of Nussanab, loved two magnificent blue eyes.
+The cripples, the capitalists, the bonzes and the brunettes filled the
+kingdom with their complaints.
+
+The barbarians of the northern provinces profited by the general
+discontent. They invaded the territory of the good Nabussan and demanded
+a tribute from his subjects. The priests, who possessed half the
+revenues of the state, contented themselves with raising their hands to
+heaven, and refused to put them in their coffers to aid the king. They
+chanted beautiful prayers, and left the state a prey to the invaders.
+
+"Oh! my dear Zadig," sadly cried Nabussan, "can you not rescue me from
+this impending danger?"
+
+"Very willingly," replied Zadig: "you shall have for your defence as
+much money from the priests as you may desire. Leave, I pray you,
+without guard the property of the bonzes, and defend only your own
+possessions."
+
+Nabussan wisely followed this advice. The priests became alarmed, threw
+themselves at his feet and implored his protection. The king replied
+with agreeable music, and chanted forth prayers and invocations to
+heaven with much sweetness and melody; finally, the priests reluctantly
+contributed the money, and the king brought the war to a happy
+termination.
+
+Thus Zadig by his sensible advice and judicious services drew upon
+himself the enmity of the most powerful parties in the state. The bonzes
+and the brunettes swore to destroy him; the capitalists and the cripples
+did not spare him. They caused the good Nabussan to suspect him.
+"Services rendered often remain in the anti-chamber, and distrust enters
+into the cabinet." So said Zoroaster. Every day there were fresh
+accusations: the first is repelled; the second is lightly thought of;
+the third wounds; the fourth kills.
+
+Zadig was dismayed, and having now satisfactorily arranged Setoc's
+affairs, he only thought of leaving the island in safety.
+
+"But where shall I go?" said he. "If I remain in Serendib the priests
+will doubtless have me impaled; in Egypt I would probably be enslaved,
+burnt, according to all appearances, in Arabia; strangled in Babylon.
+However, I must learn what has become of Queen Astarte, and will go on
+and see what sad fate destiny has still in store for me."
+
+
+[1] Having large, full, finely rounded eyes. In Homer, always applied to
+females, and most frequently to the goddess Juno, as a point of majestic
+beauty.--E.
+
+
+
+
+XIV.
+
+THE ROBBER.
+
+
+Arriving on the frontiers which divide Arabia Petræa from Syria, he
+passed by a very strong castle from which a party of armed Arabians
+sallied forth. They instantly surrounded him and cried:
+
+"All thou hast belongs to us, and thy person is the property of our
+master."
+
+Zadig replied by drawing his sword; his servant, who was a man of
+courage, did the same. They killed the first Arabians that presumed to
+lay hands on them; and though the number was redoubled, they were not
+dismayed, but resolved to perish in the conflict. Two men defended
+themselves against a multitude; but such combat could not last long,
+the master of the castle, whose name was Arbogad, having observed from a
+window the prodigies of valor performed by Zadig, conceived a high
+esteem for this heroic stranger. He descended in haste, and went in
+person to call off his men and deliver the two travelers.
+
+"All that passes over my lands," said he, "belongs to me, as well as
+what I find upon the lands of others; but thou seemest to be a man of
+such undaunted courage, that I will exempt thee from the common law."
+
+He then conducted him to his castle, ordering his men to treat him well;
+and in the evening Arbogad supped with Zadig. The lord of the castle was
+one of those Arabians who are commonly called robbers; but he now and
+then performed some good actions amidst a multitude of bad ones. He
+robbed with a furious rapacity, and granted favors with great
+generosity. He was intrepid in action; affable in company; a debauchee
+at table, but gay in his debauchery; and particularly remarkable for his
+frank and open behavior. He was highly pleased with Zadig, whose lively
+conversation lengthened the repast. At last Arbogad said to him:
+
+"I advise thee to enroll thy name in my catalogue. Thou canst not do
+better. This is not a bad trade, and thou mayest one day become what I
+am at present."
+
+"May I take the liberty of asking thee," said Zadig, "how long thou hast
+followed this noble profession?"
+
+"From my most tender youth," replied the lord, "I was servant to a
+petty, good-natured Arabian, but could not endure the hardships of my
+situation. I was vexed to find that fate had given me no share of the
+earth which equally belongs to all men. I imparted the cause of my
+uneasiness to an old Arabian, who said to me:
+
+"'My son, do not despair; there was once a grain of sand that lamented
+that it was no more than a neglected atom in the deserts; at the end of
+a few years it became a diamond, and it is now the brightest ornament in
+the crown of the king of the Indies.'
+
+[Illustration: Zadig and The Brigand.--"I advise thee to enroll thy name
+in my catalogue. Thou canst not do better," said the robber, "This is
+not a bad trade, and thou mayest one day become what I am at present."]
+
+"This discourse made a deep impression on my mind. I was the grain of
+sand, and I resolved to become the diamond. I began by stealing two
+horses. I soon got a party of companions. I put myself in a condition to
+rob small caravans; and thus, by degrees, I destroyed the difference
+which had formerly subsisted between me and other men. I had my share of
+the good things of this world; and was even recompensed with usury for
+the hardships I had suffered. I was greatly respected, and became the
+captain of a band of robbers. I seized this castle by force. The satrap
+of Syria had a mind to dispossess me of it; but I was too rich to have
+any thing to fear. I gave the satrap a handsome present, by which means
+I preserved my castle, and increased my possessions. He even appointed
+me treasurer of the tributes which Arabia Petræa pays to the king of
+kings. I perform my office of receiver with great punctuality; but take
+the freedom to dispense with that of paymaster.
+
+"The grand Desterham of Babylon sent hither a petty satrap in the name
+of king Moabdar, to have me strangled. This man arrived with his orders.
+I was apprised of all. I caused to be strangled in his presence the four
+persons he had brought with him to draw the noose; after which I asked
+him how much his commission of strangling me might be worth. He replied,
+that his fees would amount to above three hundred pieces of gold. I then
+convinced him that he might gain more by staying with me. I made him an
+inferior robber; and he is now one of my best and richest officers. If
+thou wilt take my advice, thy success may be equal to his. Never was
+there a better season for plunder, since king Moabdar is killed, and all
+Babylon thrown into confusion."
+
+"Moabdar killed!" said Zadig, "and what has become of queen Astarte?"
+
+"I know not," replied Arbogad. "All I know is, that Moabdar lost his
+senses and was killed; that Babylon is a scene of disorder and
+bloodshed; that all the empire is desolated; that there are some fine
+strokes to be made yet; and that, for my own part, I have struck some
+that are admirable."
+
+"But the queen," said Zadig; "for heaven's sake, knowest thou nothing of
+the queen's fate?"
+
+"Yes," replied he, "I have heard something of a prince of Plircania. If
+she was not killed in the tumult, she is probably one of his
+concubines. But I am much fonder of booty than news. I have taken
+several women in my excursions, but I keep none of them. I sell them at
+a high price when they are beautiful, without enquiring who they are. In
+commodities of this kind rank makes no difference, and a queen that is
+ugly will never find a merchant. Perhaps I may have sold queen Astarte;
+perhaps she is dead; but, be it as it will, it is of little consequence
+to me, and I should imagine of as little to thee."
+
+So saying, he drank a large draught, which threw all his ideas into such
+confusion that Zadig could obtain no farther information.
+
+Zadig remained for some time without speech, sense, or motion. Arbogad
+continued drinking, constantly repeated that he was the happiest man in
+the world; and exhorted Zadig to put himself in the same condition. At
+last the soporiferous fume of the wine lulled him into a gentle repose.
+Zadig passed the night in the most violent perturbation.
+
+"What," said he, "did the king lose his senses? and is he killed? I
+cannot help lamenting his fate. The empire is rent in pieces: and this
+robber is happy. O fortune! O destiny! A robber is happy, and the most
+beautiful of nature's works hath perhaps perished in a barbarous manner,
+or lives in a state worse than death. O Astarte! what has become of
+thee?"
+
+At day break, he questioned all those he met in the castle; but they
+were all busy and he received no answer. During the night they had made
+a new capture, and they were now employed in dividing the spoil. All he
+could obtain in this hurry and confusion was an opportunity of
+departing, which he immediately embraced, plunged deeper than ever in
+the most gloomy and mournful reflections.
+
+Zadig proceeded on his journey with a mind full of disquiet and
+perplexity, and wholly employed on the unhappy Astarte on the king of
+Babylon, on his faithful friend Cador, on the happy robber Arbogad, on
+that capricious woman whom the Babylonians had seized on the frontiers
+of Egypt. In a word, on all the misfortunes and disappointments he had
+hitherto suffered.
+
+
+
+
+XV.
+
+THE FISHERMAN.
+
+
+At few leagues distance from Arbogad's castle he came to the banks of a
+small river, still deploring his fate, and considering himself as the
+most wretched of mankind. He saw a fisherman lying on the bank of the
+river, scarcely holding in his weak and feeble hand a net which he
+seemed ready to drop, and lifting up his eyes to heaven.
+
+"I am certainly," said the fisherman, "the most unhappy man in the
+world. I was universally allowed to be the most famous dealer in
+cream-cheese in Babylon, and yet I am ruined. I had the most handsome
+wife that any man in my situation could have; and by her I have been
+betrayed. I had still left a paltry house, and that I have seen pillaged
+and destroyed. At last I took refuge in this cottage, where I have no
+other resource than fishing, and yet I cannot catch a single fish. Oh,
+my net! no more will I throw thee into the water; I will throw myself in
+thy place."
+
+So saying, he arose and advanced forward, in the attitude of a man ready
+to throw himself into the river, and thus to finish his life.
+
+"What," said Zadig, "are there men as wretched as I?"
+
+His eagerness to save the fisherman's life was as sudden as this
+reflection. He runs to him, stops him, and speaks to him with a tender
+and compassionate air. It is commonly supposed that we are less
+miserable when we have companions in our misery. This, according to
+Zoroaster, does not proceed from malice, but necessity. We feel
+ourselves insensibly drawn to an unhappy person as to one like
+ourselves. The joy of the happy would be an insult; but two men in
+distress are like two slender trees, which, mutually supporting each
+other, fortify themselves against the tempest.
+
+"Why," said Zadig to the fisherman, "dost thou sink under thy
+misfortunes?"
+
+"Because," replied he, "I see no means of relief. I was the most
+considerable man in the village of Derlback, near Babylon, and with the
+assistance of my wife I made the best cream-cheese in the empire. Queen
+Astarte, and the famous minister, Zadig, were extremely fond of them. I
+had sent them six hundred cheeses, and one day went to the city to
+receive my money; but, on my arrival at Babylon, was informed that the
+queen and Zadig had disappeared. I ran to the house of Lord Zadig, whom
+I had never seen; and found there the inferior officers of the grand
+Desterham, who being furnished with a royal license, were plundering it
+with great loyalty and order. From thence I flew to the queen's kitchen,
+some of the lords of which told me that the queen was dead; some said
+she was in prison; and others pretended that she had made her escape;
+but they all agreed in assuring me that I would not be paid for my
+cheese. I went with my wife to the house of Lord Orcan, who was one of
+my customers, and begged his protection in my present distress. He
+granted it to my wife, but refused it to me. She was whiter than the
+cream-cheeses that began my misfortune, and the lustre of the Tyrian
+purple was not more bright than the carnation which animated this
+whiteness. For this reason Orcan detained her, and drove me from his
+house. In my despair I wrote a letter to my dear wife. She said to the
+bearer, 'Ha, ha! I know the writer of this a little. I have heard his
+name mentioned. They say he I makes excellent cream-cheeses. Desire him
+to send me some and he shall be paid.'
+
+"In my distress I resolved to apply to justice. I had still six ounces
+of gold remaining. I was obliged to give two to the lawyer whom I
+consulted, two to the procurator who undertook my cause, and two to the
+secretary of the first judge. When all this was done, my business was
+not begun; and I had already expended more money than my cheese and my
+wife were worth. I returned to my own village, with an intention to sell
+my house, in order to enable me to recover my wife.
+
+"My house was well worth sixty ounces of gold; but as my neighbors saw
+that I was poor and obliged to sell it, the first to whom I applied
+offered me thirty ounces, the second twenty, and the third ten. Bad as
+these offers were, I was so blind that I was going to strike a bargain,
+when a prince of Hircania came to Babylon, and ravaged all in his way.
+My house was first sacked and then burned.
+
+"Having thus lost my money, my wife, and my house, I retired into this
+country, where thou now seest me. I have endeavored to gain a
+subsistence by fishing; but the fish make a mock of thee as well as the
+men. I catch none; I die with hunger; and had it not been for thee,
+august comforter, I should have perished in the river."
+
+The fisherman was not allowed to give this long account without
+interruption; at every moment, Zadig, moved and transported, said:
+
+"What! knowest thou nothing of the queen's fate?"
+
+"No my lord," replied the fisherman; "but I know that neither the queen
+nor Zadig have paid me for my cream-cheeses; that I have lost my wife,
+and am now reduced to despair."
+
+"I flatter myself," said Zadig, "that thou wilt not lose all thy money.
+I have heard of this Zadig; he is an honest man; and if he return to
+Babylon, as he expects, he will give thee more than he owes thee. But
+with regard to thy wife, who is not so honest, I advise thee not to seek
+to recover her. Believe me, go to Babylon; I shall be there before thee,
+because I am on horseback, and thou art on foot. Apply to the
+illustrious Cador. Tell him thou hast met his friend. Wait for me at his
+house. Go, perhaps thou wilt not always be unhappy.
+
+"O powerful Oromazes!" continued he, "thou employest me to comfort this
+man. Whom wilt thou employ to give me consolation?"
+
+So saying, he gave the fisherman half the money he had brought from
+Arabia. The fisherman, struck with surprise and ravished with joy,
+kissed the feet of the friend of Cador, and said:
+
+"Thou art surely an angel sent from heaven to save me!" Meanwhile Zadig
+continued to make fresh inquiries and to shed tears. "What! my lord,"
+cried the fisherman, "and art thou then so unhappy, thou who bestowest
+favors?"
+
+"A hundred times more unhappy than thee," replied Zadig.
+
+"But how is it possible," said the good man, "that the giver can be more
+wretched than the receiver?"
+
+"Because," replied Zadig, "thy greatest misery arose from poverty, and
+mine is seated in the heart."
+
+"Did Orcan take thy wife from thee?" said the fisherman.
+
+This word recalled to Zadig's mind the whole of his adventures. He
+repeated the catalogue of his misfortunes, beginning with the queen's
+bitch and ending with his arrival at the castle of the robber Arbogad.
+
+"Ah!" said he to the fisherman, "Orcan deserves to be punished: but it
+is commonly such men as those that are the favorites of fortune.
+However, go thou to the house of Lord Cador, and there await my
+arrival."
+
+They then parted: the fisherman walked, thanking heaven for the
+happiness of his condition; and Zadig rode, accusing fortune for the
+hardness of his lot.
+
+
+
+
+XVI.
+
+THE BASILISK.
+
+
+Arriving in a beautiful meadow, he there saw several women, who were
+searching for something with great application. He took the liberty to
+approach one of them, and to ask if he might have the honor to assist
+them in their search.
+
+"Take care that thou dost not," replied the Syrian. "What we are
+searching for can be touched only by women."
+
+"Strange," said Zadig. "May I presume to ask thee what it is that women
+only are permitted to touch?"
+
+"It is a basilisk," said she.
+
+"A basilisk, madam! and for what purpose, pray, dost thou seek for a
+basilisk?"
+
+"It is for our lord and master, Ogul, whose castle thou seest on the
+bank of that river, at the end of that meadow. We are his most humble
+slaves. The lord Ogul is sick. His physician hath ordered him to eat a
+basilisk, stewed in rose-water; and as it is a very rare animal, and can
+only be taken by women, the lord Ogul hath promised to choose for his
+well-beloved wife the woman that shall bring him a basilisk. Let me go
+on in my search; for thou seest what I shall lose if I am forestalled by
+my companions."
+
+[Illustration: THE BASILISK.]
+
+
+
+     THE BASILISK, OR COCKATRICE.
+
+
+     The Basilisk, called "Cockatrice" in "holy writ," was first
+     described by certain ancient historians of unquestioned imaginative
+     ability, but of very doubtful veracity; and they have also enriched
+     the popular mythology with minute descriptions of the Phoenix, the
+     Griffin, the Centaur, the Chimera, the Unicorn, and many other
+     fanciful and mythical creations.
+
+     The learned and pious naturalist, Charles Owen, D.D., of London,
+     England, (from whose celebrated _Essay Towards a Natural History of
+     Serpents_, published in 1742, the preceding engraving has been
+     copied), tells us that "the Basilisk is a serpent of the Draconick
+     line--the property of Africa; that in shape it resembles a cock,
+     the tail excepted; that the Egyptians say it springs from the egg
+     of the bird Ibis, and others, from eggs of a cock; that it is gross
+     in body, of fiery eyes and sharp head, on which it wears a crest
+     like a cock's comb; that it has the honor to be styled Regulus by
+     the Latins--_the little king of serpents_; that it is terrible to
+     them, and its voice puts them to flight, that, as tradition adds,
+     its eyes and breath are killing; that dreadful things are
+     attributed to it by the poets; and that, according to Pliny, the
+     venom of the Basilisk is said to be so exalted, that if it bites a
+     staff 'twill kill the person that makes use of it; but this,"
+     continues the reverend doctor of divinity, "is tradition without a
+     voucher."
+
+     The "inspired" prophet Isaiah, whose writings are venerated by both
+     Jews and Christians, and whose prophetic utterances have so long
+     been discussed with more zeal than discretion by the sectarians,
+     tells us, (Isaiah xiv. 29), that "Out of the serpent's root shall
+     come forth a Cockatrice, and his fruit _shall be_ a fiery, flying
+     serpent." This somewhat incoherent prediction has never been
+     satisfactorily explained by the learned commentators who are
+     specially educated in our colleges for solving theological enigmas,
+     and who have failed to show, to the confusion of scientists and the
+     admiration of a believing world, how a Cockatrice may emerge from a
+     "serpent's root," and why a Cockatrice's "fiery and flying fruit"
+     should have formed a theme for prophetic inspiration.--E.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Zadig discovers Queen Astarte.--"In her hand she held a
+small rod with which she was tracing characters on the fine sand that
+lay between the turf and the brook."]
+
+Zadig left her and the other Assyrians to search for their basilisk, and
+continued his journey through the meadow; when coming to the brink of a
+small rivulet, he found a lady lying on the grass, and who was not
+searching for any thing. Her person seemed majestic; but her face was
+covered with a veil. She was inclined toward the rivulet, and profound
+sighs proceeded from her bosom. In her hand she held a small rod with
+which she was tracing characters on the fine sand that lay between the
+turf and the brook.
+
+Zadig had the curiosity to examine what this woman was writing. He drew
+near. He saw the letter Z, then an A; he was astonished: then appeared a
+D; he started. But never was surprise equal to his, when he saw the two
+last letters of his name. He stood for some time immovable. At last
+breaking silence with a faltering voice:
+
+"Oh! generous lady!" pardon a stranger, an unfortunate man, for
+presuming to ask thee by what surprising adventure I here find the name
+of Zadig traced out by thy divine hand?'
+
+At this voice and these words, the lady lifted up the veil with a
+trembling hand, looked at Zadig, sent forth a cry of tenderness,
+surprise, and joy, and sinking under the various emotions which at once
+assaulted her soul fell speechless into his arms. It was Astarte
+herself; it was the queen of Babylon; it was she whom Zadig adored, and
+whom he had reproached himself for adoring; it was she whose misfortunes
+he had so deeply lamented, and for whose fate he had been so anxiously
+concerned. He was for a moment deprived of the use of his senses, when
+he had fixed his eyes on those of Astarte, which now began to open again
+with a languor mixed with confusion and tenderness:
+
+"O ye immortal powers!" cried he, "who preside over the fates of weak
+mortals; do ye indeed restore Astarte to me? At what a time, in what a
+place, and in what a condition do I again behold her?"
+
+He fell on his knees before Astarte, and laid his face in the dust at
+her feet. The queen of Babylon raised him up, and made him sit by her
+side on the brink of the rivulet. She frequently wiped her eyes, from
+which the tears continued to flow afresh. She twenty times resumed her
+discourse, which her sighs as often interrupted. She asked by what
+strange accident they were brought together, and suddenly prevented his
+answer by other questions. She waived the account of her own
+misfortunes, and desired to be informed of those of Zadig. At last, both
+of them having a little composed the tumult of their souls, Zadig
+acquainted her in a few words by what adventure he was brought into that
+meadow.
+
+"But, O unhappy and respectable queen! by what means do I find thee in
+this lonely place, clothed in the habit of a slave, and accompanied by
+other female slaves, who are searching for a basilisk, which, by order
+of the physician, is to be stewed in rose-water?"
+
+"While they are searching for their basilisk," said the fair Astarte, "I
+will inform thee of all I have suffered, for which heaven has
+sufficiently recompensed me, by restoring thee to my sight. Thou knowest
+that the king, my husband, was vexed to see thee, the most amiable of
+mankind; and that for this reason he one night resolved to strangle thee
+and poison me. Thou knowest how heaven permitted my little mute to
+inform me of the orders of his sublime majesty. Hardly had the faithful
+Cador obliged thee to depart, in obedience to my command, when he
+ventured to enter my apartment at midnight by a secret passage. He
+carried me off, and conducted me to the temple of Oromazes, where the
+magi, his brother, shut me up in that huge statue, whose base reaches to
+the foundation of the temple, and whose top rises to the summit of the
+dome. I was there buried in a manner; but was served by the magi, and
+supplied with all the necessaries of life. At break of day his majesty's
+apothecary entered my chamber with a potion composed of a mixture of
+henbane, opium, hemlock, black hellebore, and aconite; and another
+officer went to thine with a bowstring of blue silk. Neither of us were
+to be found. Cador, the better to deceive the king, pretended to come
+and accuse us both. He said that thou hadst taken the road to the
+Indies, and I that to Memphis; on which the king's guards were
+immediately dispatched in pursuit of us both.
+
+[Illustration: Cador concealing Astarte in the Temple of Oromazes.]
+
+"The couriers who pursured me did not know me. I had hardly ever shown
+my face to any but thee, and to thee only in the presence and by the
+order of my husband. They conducted themselves in the pursuit by the
+description that had been given of my person. On the frontiers of Egypt
+they met with a woman of the same stature with me, and possessed perhaps
+of greater charms. She was weeping and wandering. They made no doubt but
+that this woman was the queen of Babylon, and accordingly brought her to
+Moabdar. Their mistake at first threw the king into a violent passion;
+but having viewed this woman more attentively, he found her extremely
+handsome, and was comforted. She was called Missouf. I have since been
+informed that this name in the Egyptian language signifies the
+capricious fair one. She was so in reality; but she had as much cunning
+as caprice. She pleased Moabdar, and gained such an ascendency over him
+as to make him choose her for his wife. Her character then began to
+appear in its true colors. She gave herself up, without scruple, to all
+the freaks of a wanton imagination. She would have obliged the chief of
+the magi, who was old and gouty, to dance before her; and on his
+refusal, she persecuted him with the most unrelenting cruelty. She
+ordered her master of the horse to make her a pie of sweetmeats. In vain
+did he represent that he was not a pastry-cook. He was obliged to make
+it, and lost his place because it was baked a little too hard. The post
+of master of the horse she gave to her dwarf, and that of Chancellor to
+her page. In this manner did she govern Babylon. Every body regretted
+the loss of me. The king, who till the moment of his resolving to poison
+me and strangle thee had been a tolerably good kind of man, seemed now
+to have drowned all his virtues in his immoderate fondness for this
+capricious fair one. He came to the temple on the great day of the feast
+held in honor of the sacred fire. I saw him implore the gods in behalf
+of Missouf, at the feet of the statue in which I was inclosed. I raised
+my voice; I cried out:
+
+"'The gods reject the prayers of a king who is now become a tyrant, and
+who attempted to murder a reasonable wife, in order to marry a woman
+remarkable for nothing but her folly and extravagance.'
+
+"At these words Moabdar was confounded and his head became disordered.
+The oracle I had pronounced, and the tyranny of Missouf, conspired to
+deprive him of his judgment, and in a few days his reason entirely
+forsook him.
+
+"His madness, which seemed to be the judgment of heaven, was the signal
+for a revolt. The people rose, and ran to arms; and Babylon, which had
+been so long immersed in idleness and effeminacy, became the theatre of
+a bloody civil war. I was taken from the heart of my statue and placed
+at the head of a party. Cador flew to Memphis to bring thee back to
+Babylon. The prince of Hircania, informed of these fatal events,
+returned with his army and made a third party in Chaldea. He attacked
+the king, who fled before him with his capricious Egyptian. Moabdar died
+pierced with wounds. Missouf fell into the hands of the conqueror. I
+myself had the misfortune to be taken by a party of Hircanians, who
+conducted me to their prince's tent, at the very moment that Missouf was
+brought before him. Thou wilt doubtless be pleased to hear that the
+prince thought me more beautiful than the Egyptian; but thou wilt be
+sorry to be informed that he designed me for his seraglio. He told me,
+with a blunt and resolute air, that as soon as he had finished a
+military expedition, which he was just going to undertake, he would come
+to me. Judge how great must have been my grief. My ties with Moabdar
+were already dissolved; I might have been the wife of Zadig; and I was
+fallen into the hands of a barbarian. I answered him with all the pride
+which my high rank and noble sentiment could inspire. I had always heard
+it affirmed that heaven stamped on persons of my condition a mark of
+grandeur, which, with a single word or glance, could reduce to the
+lowliness of the most profound respect those rash and forward persons
+who presume to deviate from the rules of politeness. I spoke like a
+queen, but was treated like a maid-servant. The Hircanian, without even
+deigning to speak to me, told his black eunuch that I was impertinent,
+but that he thought me handsome. He ordered him to take care of me and
+to put me under the regimen of favorites, that, so my complexion being
+improved, I might be the more worthy of his favors when he should be at
+leisure to honor me with them. I told him, that, rather than submit to
+his desires, I would put an end to my life. He replied with a smile,
+that women, he believed, were not so blood-thirsty, and that he was
+accustomed to such violent expressions; and then left me with the air of
+a man who had just put another parrot into his aviary. What a state for
+the first queen in the universe, and, what is more, for a heart devoted
+to Zadig!"
+
+At these words Zadig threw himself at her feet, and bathed them with his
+tears. Astarte raised him with great tenderness, and thus continued her
+story:
+
+"I now saw myself in the power of a barbarian, and rival to the foolish
+woman with whom I was conned. She gave me an account of her adventures
+in Egypt. From the description she gave of your person, from the time,
+from the dromedary on which you were mounted, and from every other
+circumstance, I inferred that Zadig was the man who had fought for her.
+I doubted not but that you were at Memphis, and therefore resolved to
+repair thither. 'Beautiful Missouf,' said I, 'thou art more handsome
+than I, and will please the prince of Hircania much better. Assist me in
+contriving the means of my escape. Thou wilt then reign alone. Thou wilt
+at once make me happy and rid thyself of a rival.'
+
+"Missouf concerted with me the means of my flight; and I departed
+secretly with a female slave. As I approached the frontiers of Arabia, a
+famous robber, named Arbogad, seized me and sold me to some merchants
+who brought me to this castle where ford Ogul resides. He bought me
+without knowing who I was. He is a voluptuary, ambitious of nothing but
+good living, and thinks that God sent him into the world for no other
+purpose than to sit at table. He is so extremely corpulent, that he is
+always in danger of suffocation. His physician, who has but little
+credit with him when he has a good digestion, governs him with a
+despotic sway when he has eaten too much. He has persuaded him that a
+basilisk stewed in rose-water will effect a complete cure. The ford Ogul
+hath promised his hand to the female slave that brings him a basilisk.
+Thou seest that I leave them to vie with each other in meriting this
+honor; and never was I less desirous of finding the basilisk than since
+heaven hath restored thee to my sight."
+
+This account was succeeded by a long conversation between Astarte and
+Zadig, consisting of every thing that their long suppressed sentiments,
+their great sufferings, and their mutual love, could inspire into
+hearts the most noble and tender, and the genii who preside over love
+carried their words to the sphere of Venus.
+
+The women returned to Ogul without having found the basilisk. Zadig was
+introduced to this mighty lord, and spoke to him in the following terms:
+
+"May immortal health descend from heaven to bless all thy days! I am a
+physician. At the first report of thy indisposition I flew to thy
+castle, and have now brought thee a basilisk stewed in rose-water. Not
+that I pretend to marry thee. All I ask is the liberty of a Babylonian
+slave, who hath been in thy possession for a few days; and, if I should
+not be so happy as to cure thee, magnificent Lord Ogul, I consent to
+remain a slave in her place."
+
+The proposal was accepted. Astarte set out for Babylon with Zadig's
+servant, promising, immediately upon her arrival, to send a courier to
+inform him of all that had happened. Their parting was as tender as
+their meeting. The moment of meeting, and that of parting are the two
+greatest epochs of life as sayeth the great book of Zend. Zadig loved
+the queen with as much ardor as he professed; and the queen loved Zadig
+more than she thought proper to acknowledge.
+
+Meanwhile Zadig spoke thus to Ogul:
+
+"My lord, my basilisk is not to be eaten; all its virtues must enter
+through thy pores. I have inclosed it in a little ball, blown up and
+covered with a fine skin. Thou must strike this ball with all thy might,
+and I must strike it back for a considerable time; and by observing this
+regimen for a few days, thou wilt see the effects of my art."
+
+The first day Ogul was out of breath, and thought he should have died
+with fatigue. The second, he was less fatigued, and slept better. In
+eight days he recovered all the strength, all the health, all the
+agility and cheerfulness of his most agreeable years.
+
+"Thou hast played at ball, and hast been temperate," said Zadig. "Know
+that there is no such thing in nature as a basilisk; that temperance and
+exercise are the two great preservatives of health; and that the art of
+reconciling intemperance and health is as chimerical as the
+philosopher's stone, judicial astrology, or the theology of the magi."
+
+Ogul's first physician observing how dangerous this man might prove to
+the medical art, formed a design, in conjunction with the apothecary, to
+send Zadig to search for a basilisk in the other world. Thus, after
+having suffered such a long train of calamities on account of his good
+actions, he was now upon the point of losing his life for curing a
+gluttonous lord. He was invited to an excellent dinner, and was to have
+been poisoned in the second course; but, during the first, he happily
+received a courier from the fair Astarte.
+
+"When one is beloved by a beautiful woman," says the great Zoroaster,
+"he hath always the good fortune to extricate himself out of every kind
+of difficulty and danger."
+
+
+
+
+XVII.
+
+THE COMBATS.
+
+
+The queen was received at Babylon with all those transports of joy which
+are ever felt on the return of a beautiful princess who hath been
+involved in calamities. Babylon was now in greater tranquillity. The
+prince of Hircania had been killed in battle. The victorious Babylonians
+declared that the queen should marry the man whom they should choose for
+their sovereign. They were resolved that the first place in the world,
+that of being husband to Astarte and king of Babylon, should not depend
+on cabals and intrigues. They swore to acknowledge for king the man who,
+upon trial, should be found to be possessed of the greatest valor and
+the greatest wisdom. Accordingly, at the distance of a few leagues from
+the city, a spacious place was marked out for the list, surrounded with
+magnificent amphitheatres. Thither the combatants were to repair in
+complete armor. Each of them had a separate apartment behind the
+amphitheatres, where they were neither to be seen nor known by any one.
+Each was to encounter four knights; and those that were so happy as to
+conquer four, were then to engage with one another: so that he who
+remained the last master of the field, would be proclaimed conqueror at
+the games. Four days after he was to return to the same place, and to
+explain the enigmas proposed by the magi. If he did not explain the
+enigmas, he was not king; and the running at the lances was to begin
+afresh, till a man should be found who was conqueror in both these
+combats; for they were absolutely determined to have a king possessed of
+the greatest wisdom and the most invincible courage. The queen was all
+the while to be strictly guarded. She was only allowed to be present at
+the games, and even there she was to be covered with a veil; but was not
+allowed to speak to any of the competitors, that so they might neither
+receive favor, nor suffer injustice.
+
+These particulars Astarte communicated to her lover, hoping that, in
+order to obtain her, he would show himself possessed of greater courage
+and wisdom than any other person.
+
+Zadig set out on his journey, beseeching Venus to fortify his courage
+and enlighten his understanding. He arrived on the banks of the
+Euphrates on the eve of this great day. He caused his device to be
+inscribed among those of the combatants, concealing his face and his
+name, as the law ordained; and then went to repose himself in the
+apartment that fell to him by lot. His friend, Cador, who after the
+fruitless search he had made for him in Egypt, had now returned to
+Babylon, sent to his tent a complete suit of armor, which was a present
+from the queen; as also from himself, one of the finest horses in
+Persia. Zadig presently perceived that these presents were sent by
+Astarte; and from thence his courage derived fresh strength, and his
+love the most animating hopes.
+
+Next day, the queen being seated under a canopy of jewels, and the
+amphitheatres filled with all the gentlemen and ladies of rank in
+Babylon, the combatants appeared in the circus. Each of them came and
+laid his device at the feet of the grand magi. They drew their devices
+by lot; and that of Zadig was the last. The first who advanced was a
+certain lord, named Itobad, very rich and very vain, but possessed of
+little courage, of less address, and scarcely of any judgment at all.
+His servants had persuaded him that such a man as he ought to be king.
+He had said in reply, "Such a man as I ought to reign;" and thus they
+had armed him cap-a-pie. He wore an armor of gold enameled with green, a
+plume of green feathers, and a lance adorned with green ribbons. It
+was instantly perceived by the manner in which Itobad managed his horse,
+that it was not for such a man as him that heaven reserved the sceptre
+of Babylon. The first knight that ran against him threw him out of his
+saddle: the second laid him flat on his horse's buttocks, with his legs
+in the air, and his arms extended. Itobad recovered himself, but with so
+bad a grace, that the whole amphitheatre burst out a laughing. The third
+knight disdained to make use of his lance; but, making a pass at him,
+took him by the right leg, and wheeling him half round, laid him
+prostrate on the sand. The squires of the games ran to him laughing, and
+replaced him in his saddle. The fourth combatant took him by the left
+leg, and tumbled him down on the other side. He was conducted back with
+scornful shouts to his tent, where, according to the law, he was to pass
+the night; and as he limped along with great difficulty, he said: "What
+an adventure for such a man as I!"
+
+[Illustration: The combats.]
+
+The other knights acquitted themselves with greater ability and success.
+Some of them conquered two combatants; a few of them vanquished three;
+but none but prince of Otamus conquered four. At last Zadig fought in
+his turn. He successively threw four knights off their saddles with all
+the grace imaginable. It then remained to be seen who should be
+conqueror, of Otamus or Zadig. The arms of the first were gold and blue,
+with a plume of the same color; those of the last were white. The wishes
+of all the spectators were divided between the knight in blue and the
+knight in white. The queen, whose heart was in a violent palpitation,
+offered prayers to heaven for the success of the white color.
+
+The two champions made their passes and vaults with so much agility,
+they mutually gave and received such dexterous blows with their lances,
+and sat so firmly in their saddles, that every body but the queen wished
+there might be two kings in Babylon. At length, their horses being tired
+and their lances broken, Zadig had recourse to this stratagem: He passed
+behind the blue prince; springs upon the buttocks of his horse; seizes
+him by the middle; throws him on the earth; places himself in the
+saddle, and wheels around Otamus as he lay extended on the ground. All
+the amphitheatre cried out, "Victory to the white knight!" Otamus rises
+in a violent passion, and draws his sword; Zadig leaps from his horse
+with his sabre in his hand. Both of them are now on the ground, engaged
+in a new combat, where strength and agility triumph by turns. The plumes
+of their helmets, the studs of their bracelets, and the rings of their
+armor are driven to a great distance by the violence of a thousand
+furious blows. They strike with the point and the edge; to the right, to
+the left; on the head, on the breast; they retreat; they advance; they
+measure swords; they close; they seize each other; they bend like
+serpents; they attack like lions; and the fire every moment flashes from
+their blows. At last Zadig, having recovered his spirits, stops; makes a
+feint; leaps upon Otamus; throws him on the ground and disarms him; and
+Otamus cries out:
+
+"It is thou alone, O white knight, that oughtest to reign over Babylon!"
+
+The queen was now at the height of her joy. The knight in blue armor,
+and the knight in white, were conducted each to his own apartment, as
+well as all the others, according to the intention of the law. Mutes
+came to wait upon them, and to serve them at table. It may be easily
+supposed that the queen's little mute waited upon Zadig. They were then
+left to themselves to enjoy the sweets of repose till next morning, at
+which time the conqueror was to bring his device to the grand magi, to
+compare it with that which he had left, and make himself known.
+
+Zadig, though deeply in love, was so much fatigued that he could not
+help sleeping. Itobad, who lay near him, never closed his eyes. He arose
+in the night, entered his apartment, took the white arms and the device
+of Zadig, and put his green armor in their place. At break of day, he
+went boldly to the grand magi, to declare that so great a man as he was
+conqueror. This was little expected; however, he was proclaimed while
+Zadig was still asleep. Astarte, surprised and filled with despair,
+returned to Babylon. The amphitheatre was almost empty when Zadig awoke;
+he sought for his arms but could find none but the green armor. With
+this he was obliged to cover himself, having nothing else near him.
+Astonished and enraged, he put it on in a furious passion and advanced
+in this equipage.
+
+The people that still remained in the amphitheatre and the circus
+received him with hoofs and hisses. They surrounded him, and insulted
+him to his face. Never did man suffer such cruel mortifications. He lost
+his patience; with his sabre he dispersed such of the populace as dared
+to affront him; but he knew not what course to take. He could not see
+the queen; he could not claim the white armor she had sent him without
+exposing her; and thus, while she was plunged in grief, he was filled
+with fury and distraction. He walked on the banks of the Euphrates,
+fully persuaded that his star had destined him to inevitable misery; and
+revolving in his mind all his misfortunes, from the adventure of the
+woman who hated one-eyed men, to that of his armor:
+
+"This," said he, "is the consequence of my having slept too long. Had I
+slept less, I should now have been king of Babylon, and in possession of
+Astarte. Knowledge, virtue, and courage, have hitherto served only to
+make me miserable."
+
+He then let fall some secret murmurings against providence, and was
+tempted to believe that the world was governed by a cruel destiny, which
+oppressed the good, and prospered knights in green armor.
+
+
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+THE HERMIT.
+
+
+One of Zadig's greatest mortifications was his being obliged to wear
+that green armor which had exposed him to such contumelious treatment.
+A merchant happening to pass by, he sold it to him for a trifle, and
+bought a gown and a long bonnet. In this garb he proceeded along the
+banks of the Euphrates, filled with despair, and secretly accusing
+providence, which thus continued to persecute him with unremitting
+severity.
+
+While he was thus sauntering along, he met a hermit whose white and
+venerable beard hung down to his girdle. He held a book in his hand,
+which he read with great attention. Zadig stopped, and made him a
+profound obeisance. The hermit returned the compliment with such a noble
+and engaging air, that Zadig had the curiosity to enter into
+conversation with him. He asked him what book it was that he had been
+reading.
+
+"It is the book of destinies," said the hermit. "Wouldst thou choose to
+look into it?"
+
+He put the book into the hands of Zadig, who, thoroughly versed as he
+was in several languages, could not decipher a single character of it.
+This only redoubled his curiosity.
+
+"Thou seemest," said the good father, "to be in great distress."
+
+"Alas!" replied Zadig, "I have but too much reason."
+
+"If thou wilt permit me to accompany thee," resumed the old man,
+"perhaps I may be of some service to thee. I have often poured the balm
+of consolation into the bleeding heart of the unhappy."
+
+Zadig felt himself inspired with respect for the dignity, the beard, and
+the book of the hermit. He found, in the course of the conversation,
+that he was possessed of superior degrees of knowledge. The hermit
+talked of fate, of justice, of morals, of the chief good, of human
+weakness, and of virtue and vice, with such a spirited and moving
+eloquence, that Zadig felt himself drawn toward him by an irresistible
+charm. He earnestly entreated the favor of his company till their return
+to Babylon.
+
+"I ask the same favor of thee," said the old man. "Swear to me by
+Oromazes that, whatever I do, thou wilt not leave me for some days."
+
+Zadig swore, and they set out together. In the evening the two travelers
+arrived at a superb castle. The hermit entreated a hospitable reception
+for himself and the young man who accompanied him. The porter, whom one
+might have mistaken for a great lord, introduced them with a kind of
+disdainful civility. He presented them to a principal domestic, who
+showed them his master's magnificent apartments. They were admitted to
+the lower end of the table, without being honored with the least mark of
+regard by the lord of the castle; but they were served, like the rest,
+with delicacy and profusion. They were then presented, in a golden basin
+adorned with emeralds and rubies, with water to wash their hands. At
+last they were conducted to bed in a beautiful apartment; and in the
+morning a domestic brought each of them a piece of gold, after which
+they took their leave and departed.
+
+"The master of the house," said Zadig, as they were proceeding on the
+journey, "appears to be a generous man, though somewhat too proud. He
+nobly performs the duties of hospitality."
+
+At that instant he observed that a kind of large pocket, which the
+hermit had, was filled and distended; and upon looking more narrowly, he
+found that it contained the golden basin adorned with precious stones,
+which the hermit had stolen. He durst not then take any notice of it;
+but he was filled with a strange surprise.
+
+About noon the hermit came to the door of a paltry house, inhabited by a
+rich miser, and begged the favor of an hospitable reception for a few
+hours. An old servant, in a tattered garb, received them with a blunt
+and rude air, and led them into the stable, where he gave them some
+rotten olives, sour wine, and mouldy bread. The hermit ate and drank
+with as much seeming satisfaction as he had done the evening before, and
+then addressing himself to the old servant who watched them both to
+prevent them stealing anything, and had rudely pressed them to depart,
+he gave him the two pieces of gold he had received in the morning, and
+thanked him for his great civility.
+
+"Pray," added he, "allow me to speak to thy master."
+
+The servant, filled with astonishment, introduced the two travelers.
+
+"Magnificent lord!" said the hermit, "I cannot but return thee my most
+humble thanks for the noble manner in which thou hast entertained us. Be
+pleased to accept of this golden basin as a small mark of my gratitude."
+
+The miser started, and was ready to fall backwards; but the hermit,
+without giving him time to recover from his surprise, instantly departed
+with his young fellow traveler.
+
+"Father," said Zadig, "what is the meaning of all this? Thou seemest to
+me to be entirely different from other men. Thou stealest a golden basin
+adorned with precious stones, from a lord who received thee
+magnificently, and givest it to a miser who treats thee with
+indignity."
+
+"Son," replied the old man, "this magnificent lord, who receives
+strangers only from vanity and ostentation, will hereby be rendered more
+wise; and the miser will learn to practice the duties of hospitality. Be
+surprised at nothing, but follow me."
+
+Zadig knew not as yet whether he was in company with the most foolish or
+the most prudent of mankind' but the hermit spoke with such an
+ascendency that Zadig, who was moreover bound by his oath, could not
+refuse to follow him.
+
+In the evening they arrived at a house built with equal elegance and
+simplicity, where nothing savored either of prodigality or avarice. The
+master of it was a philosopher who had retired from the world, and who
+cultivated in peace the study of virtue and wisdom, without any of that
+rigid and morose severity so commonly found in men of his character. He
+had chosen to build this fine house in which he received strangers with
+a generosity free from ostentation. He went himself to meet the two
+travelers, whom he led into a commodious apartment, and desired them to
+repose themselves. Soon after he came and invited them to a decent and
+well ordered repast, during which he spoke with great judgment of the
+last revolutions in Babylon. He seemed to be strongly attached to the
+queen, and wished that Zadig had appeared in the lists to contend for
+the crown.
+
+"But the people," added he, "do not deserve to have such a king as
+Zadig."
+
+Zadig blushed and felt his griefs redoubled. They agreed, in the course
+of the conversation, that the things of this world did not always answer
+the wishes of the wise. The hermit maintained that the ways of
+providence were inscrutable; and that men were in the wrong to judge of
+a whole, of which they understood but the smallest part. They talked of
+the passions.
+
+"Ah," said Zadig, "how fatal are their effects!"
+
+"They are the winds," replied the hermit, "that swell the sails of the
+ship; it is true, they sometimes sink her, but without them she could
+not sail at all. The bile makes us sick and choleric but without the
+bile we could not live. Everything in this world is dangerous, and yet
+everything in it is necessary."
+
+The conversation turned on pleasure; and the hermit proved that it was a
+present bestowed by the deity.
+
+"For," said he, "man cannot either give himself sensations or ideas: he
+receives all; and pain and pleasure proceed from a foreign cause as well
+as his being."
+
+Zadig was surprised to see a man who had been guilty of such extravagant
+actions, capable of reasoning with so much judgment and propriety. At
+last, after a conversation equally entertaining and instructive, the
+host led back his two guests to their apartment, blessing heaven for
+having sent him two men possessed of so much wisdom and virtue. He
+offered them money with such an easy and noble air that it could not
+possibly give any offence. The hermit refused it, and said that he must
+now take his leave of him, as he proposed to set out for Babylon in the
+morning before it was light. Their parting was tender. Zadig especially
+felt himself filled with esteem and affection for a man of such an
+amiable character.
+
+When he and the hermit were alone in their apartment they spent a long
+time in praising their host. At break of day the old man awakened his
+companion.
+
+"We must now depart," said he; "but while all the family are still
+asleep, I will leave this man a mark of my esteem and affection."
+
+So saying he took a candle and set fire to the house. Zadig, struck with
+horror, cried aloud, and endeavored to hinder him from committing such a
+barbarous action; but the hermit drew him away by a superior force, and
+the house was soon in flames. The hermit, who, with his companion, was
+already at a considerable distance, looked back to the conflagration
+with great tranquillity.
+
+"Thanks be to God," said he, "the house of my dear host is entirely
+destroyed! Happy man!"
+
+At these words Zadig was at once tempted to burst out in laughing, to
+reproach the reverend father, to beat him, and to run away. But he did
+none of all these; for still subdued by the powerful ascendancy of the
+hermit, he followed him, in spite of himself, to the next stage.
+
+This was at the house of a charitable and virtuous widow, who had a
+nephew fourteen years of age, a handsome and promising youth, and her
+only hope. She performed the honors of the house as well us she could.
+Next day, she ordered her nephew to accompany the strangers to a bridge,
+which being lately broken down, was become extremely dangerous in
+passing. The young man walked before them with great alacrity. As they
+were crossing the bridge, the hermit said to the youth:
+
+"Come, I must show my gratitude to thy aunt."
+
+He then took him by the hair, and plunged him into the river. The boy
+sank, appeared again on the surface of the water, and was swallowed up
+by the current.
+
+"O monster! O thou most wicked of mankind!" cried Zadig.
+
+"Thou promised to behave with greater patience," said the hermit,
+interrupting him. "Know, that under the ruins of that house which
+providence hath set on fire, the master hath found an immense treasure I
+know, that this young man, whose life providence hath shortened, would
+have assassinated his aunt in the space of a year, and thee in that of
+two."
+
+"Who told thee so, barbarian?" cried Zadig, "and though thou hadst read
+this event in thy book of destinies, art thou permitted to drown a youth
+who never did thee any harm?"
+
+While the Babylonian was thus exclaiming, he observed that the old man
+had no longer a beard, and that his countenance assumed the features and
+complexion of youth. The hermit's habit disappeared, and four beautiful
+wings covered a majestic body resplendent with light.
+
+"O sent of heaven! O divine angel!" cried Zadig, humbly prostrating
+himself on the ground, "Hast thou then descended from the empyrean to
+teach a weak mortal to submit to the eternal decrees of providence?"
+
+"Men," said the angel Jesrad, "judge of all without knowing any thing;
+and, of all men, thou best deservest to be enlightened."
+
+Zadig begged to be permitted to speak:
+
+"I distrust myself," said he, "but may I presume to ask the favor of
+thee to clear up one doubt that still remains in my mind. Would it not
+have been better to have corrected this youth, and made him virtuous,
+than to have drowned him?"
+
+[Illustration: The hermit.]
+
+     The poem, called _The Hermit_, by Thomas Parnell, D.D., expresses
+     views in regard to providence similar to those of Voltaire. The
+     same thoughts may also be found in the _Divine Dialogues_ of Henry
+     Moore. Indeed this "tale to prose-men known to verse-men fam'd,"
+     has been used by many authors. Pope says "the story was written
+     originally in Spanish;" Goldsmith, in his _Life of Parnell_,
+     intimates that it was originally of Arabian invention, while, in
+     fact, it seems to bear internal evidence of Persian or Hindoo
+     origin.--E.
+
+"Had he become virtuous," replied Jesrad, "and enjoyed a longer life, it
+would have been his fate to have been assassinated himself, together
+with the wife he would have married, and the child he would have had by
+her."
+
+"But why," said Zadig, "is it necessary that there should be crimes and
+misfortunes, and that these misfortunes should fall on the good?"
+
+"The wicked," replied Jesrad, "are always unhappy. They serve to prove
+and try the small number of the just that are scattered through the
+earth; and there is no evil that is not productive of some good."
+
+"But," said Zadig, "suppose there was nothing but good and no evil at
+all."
+
+"Then," replied Jesrad, "this earth would be another earth: the chain of
+events would be ranged in another order and directed by wisdom. But this
+other order, which would be perfect, can exist only in the eternal abode
+of the Supreme Being, to which no evil can approach. The Deity hath
+created millions of worlds, among which there is not one that resembles
+another. This immense variety is the effect of his immense power. There
+are not two leaves among the trees of the earth, nor two globes in the
+unlimited expanse of heaven, that are exactly similar; and all that thou
+seest on the little atom in which thou art born, ought to be, in its
+proper time and place, according to the immutable decrees of him who
+comprehends all. Men think that this child, who hath just perished, is
+fallen into the water by chance; and that it is by the same chance that
+this house is burned. But there is no such thing as chance. All is
+either a trial, or a punishment, or a reward, or a foresight. Remember
+the fisherman, who thought himself the most wretched of mankind.
+Oromazes sent thee to change his fate. Cease then, frail mortal, to
+dispute against what thou oughtest to adore."
+
+"But," said Zadig--
+
+As he pronounced the word "But," the angel took his flight toward the
+tenth sphere. Zadig on his knees adored providence, and submitted. The
+angel cried to him from on high:
+
+"Direct thy course toward Babylon."
+
+
+
+
+XIX.
+
+THE ENIGMAS.
+
+
+Zadig, entranced as it were, and like a man about whose head the thunder
+had burst, walked at random. He entered Babylon on the very day when
+those who had fought at the tournaments were assembled in the grand
+vestibule of the palace to explain the enigmas, and to answer the
+questions of the grand magi. All the knights were already present,
+except the knight in green armor. As soon as Zadig appeared in the city,
+the people crowded around him; every eye was fixed on him, every mouth
+blessed him, and every heart wished him the empire. The envious man saw
+him pass; he frowned and turned aside. The people conducted him to the
+place where the assembly was held. The queen, when informed of his
+arrival, became a prey to the most violent agitations of hope and fear.
+She was filled with anxiety and apprehension. She could not comprehend
+why Zadig was without arms, nor why Itobad wore the white armor.
+
+When the knights who had fought were directed to appear in the assembly,
+Zadig said. "I have fought as well as the other knights, but another
+here wears my arms; and while I wait for the honor of proving the truth
+of my assertion, I demand the liberty of presenting myself to explain
+the enigmas."
+
+The question was put to vote, and his reputation for probity was so well
+established, that they admitted him without scruple.
+
+The first question proposed by the grand magi, was: "What, of all things
+in the world, is the longest and the shortest, the swiftest and the
+slowest, the most divisible and the most extended, the most neglected
+and the most regretted, without which nothing can be done, which devours
+all that is little, and enlivens all that is great?"
+
+Itobad was to speak. He replied, that so great a man as he did not
+understand enigmas; and that it was sufficient for him to have conquered
+by his strength and valor. Some said that the meaning of the enigma was
+fortune; some, the earth; and others, the light. Zadig said that it was
+time.
+
+"Nothing," added he, "is longer, since it is the measure of eternity.
+Nothing is shorter, since it is insufficient for the accomplishment of
+our projects. Nothing more slow to him that expects, nothing more rapid
+to him that enjoys. In greatness it extends to infinity, in smallness it
+is infinitely divisible. All men neglect it, all regret the loss of it;
+nothing can be done without it. It consigns to oblivion whatever is
+unworthy of being transmitted to posterity, and it immortalizes such
+actions as are truly great."
+
+The assembly acknowledged that Zadig was in the right.
+
+The next question was: "What is the thing which we receive without
+thanks, which we enjoy without knowing how, and which we lose without
+perceiving it?"
+
+Every one gave his own explanation. Zadig alone guessed that it was
+life; and he explained all the other enigmas with the same facility.
+Itobad always said that nothing was more easy, and that he could have
+answered them with the same readiness, had he chosen to have given
+himself the trouble. Questions were then proposed on justice, on the
+sovereign good, and on the art of government. Zadig's answers were
+judged to be the most solid, and the people exclaimed:
+
+"What a pity it is, that so great a genius should be so bad a knight!"
+
+"Illustrious lords," said Zadig, "I have had the honor of conquering in
+the tournaments. It is to me that the white armor belongs. Lord Itobad
+took possession of it during my sleep. He probably thought it would fit
+him better than the green. I am now ready to prove in your presence,
+with my gown and sword, against all that beautiful white armor which he
+took from me, that it is I who have had the honor of conquering the
+brave of Otamus."
+
+Itobad accepted the challenge with the greatest confidence. He never
+doubted but that, armed as he was with a helmet, a cuirass, and
+brassarts, he would obtain an easy victory over a champion in a cap and
+a night-gown. Zadig drew his sword, saluting the queen, who looked at
+him with a mixture of fear and joy. Itobad drew his, without saluting
+any one. He rushed upon Zadig, like a man who had nothing to fear; he
+was ready to cleave him in two. Zadig knew how to ward off his blows, by
+opposing the strongest part of his sword to the weakest of that of his
+adversary, in such a manner that Itobad's sword was broken. Upon which
+Zadig, seizing his enemy by the waist, threw him on the ground; and
+fixing the point of his sword at the extremity of his breast-plate,
+exclaimed: "Suffer thyself to be disarmed, or thou art a dead man."
+
+Itobad greatly surprised at the disgrace that happened to such a man as
+he, was obliged to yield to Zadig, who took from him with great
+composure, his magnificent helmet, his superb cuirass, his fine
+brassarts, his shining cuisses; clothed himself with them, and in this
+dress ran to throw himself at the feet of Astarte. Cador easily proved
+that the armor belonged to Zadig. He was acknowledged king by the
+unanimous consent of the whole nation, and especially by that of
+Astarte, who, after so many calamities, now tasted the exquisite
+pleasure of seeing her lover worthy, in the eyes of the world, to be her
+husband. Itobad went home to be called lord in his own house. Zadig was
+king, and was happy. He recollected what the angel Jesrad had said to
+him. He even remembered the grain of sand that became a diamond. He sent
+in search of the robber Arbogad, to whom he gave an honorable post in
+his army, promising to advance him to the first dignities, if he behaved
+like a true warrior; and threatening to hang him, if he followed the
+profession of a robber.
+
+Setoc, with the fair Almona, was called from the heart of Arabia, and
+placed at the head of the commerce of Babylon. Cador was preferred and
+distinguished according to his great services. He was the friend of the
+king; and the king was then the only monarch on earth that had a friend.
+The little mute was not forgotten. A fine house was given to the
+fisherman; and Orcan was condemned to pay him a large sum of money, and
+to restore him his wife; but the fisherman, who had now become wise,
+took only the money.
+
+The beautiful Semira could not be comforted for having believed that
+Zadig would be blind of an eye; nor did Azora cease to lament her
+attempt to cut off his nose: their griefs, however, he softened by his
+presents. The capricious beauty, Missouf, was left unnoticed. The
+envious man died of rage and shame. The empire enjoyed peace, glory, and
+plenty. This was the happiest age of the earth. It was governed by love
+and justice. The people blessed Zadig, and Zadig blessed heaven.
+
+
+[Illustration: Freind and his wayward son.]
+
+
+
+THE SAGE AND THE ATHEIST.
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+You request me, sir, to give you some account of our worthy friend, and
+his singular son. The leisure that the retirement of Lord Peterborough
+now affords me, places it in my power to oblige you. You will be as
+astonished as I was, and perhaps adopt my opinion on the subject.
+
+You scarcely knew the young and unfortunate Johnny, Freind's only son,
+whom his father took with him to Spain when he received the appointment
+of chaplain to our armies, in 1705. You started for Aleppo, before my
+lord besieged Barcelona; yet you were right when you said, John's
+countenance was amiable and interesting, and that he gave proofs of
+intelligence and courage. It was quite true. Every one who knew him,
+loved him. At first he was intended for the church; but, as he
+manifested much aversion for that profession, which, indeed, requires
+great skill, management, and finesse, his prudent father considered it a
+folly and a crime to oppose his inclination.
+
+John was not twenty years old when he assisted, as a volunteer, at the
+attack on Mont-Joui, which was captured, and where the Prince of Hesse
+lost his life. Our poor Johnny was wounded, taken prisoner, and carried
+into the town. The following is an account of his adventures from the
+attack of Mont-Joui till the taking of Barcelona. It is as told by a
+Catalonian lady, a little too free and too simple. Such stories do not
+find a way to the hearts of your wise men. I received it from her when I
+entered Barcelona in the suite of Lord Peterborough. You must read it
+without offence, as a true description of the manners of the country.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+ADVENTURES OF JOHNNY, A YOUNG ENGLISHMAN. WRITTEN BY DONNA LAS NALGAS.
+
+
+When we were informed that the same savages who came through the air to
+seize on Gibraltar, were come to besiege our beautiful Barcelona, we
+began to offer prayers at Notre Dame de Manreze--assuredly the best mode
+of defence.
+
+These people, who come from so far, are called by a name very hard to
+pronounce, that is, English. Our reverend father inquisitor, Don
+Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, preached against these brigands. He
+anathematized them in Notre Dame d'Elpino. He assured us that the
+English had monkey-tails, bears' paws, and parrot-heads; that they
+sometimes spoke like men, but invariably made a great hissing; that they
+were moreover notorious heretics; that though the Blessed Virgin was
+often indulgent to poor sinners, she never forgave heretics, and that
+consequently they would all be infallibly exterminated, especially if
+they presumed to appear before Mont-Joui. He had scarcely finished his
+sermon when he heard that Mont-Joui was taken by storm.
+
+The same evening we learned that a young Englishman, who had been
+wounded in the assault, was our prisoner. Throughout the town arose
+cries of victory! victory! And the illuminations were very general.
+
+Donna Boca Vermeja, who had the honor to be the reverend inquisitor's
+favorite, was very desirous to see what the English animal and heretic
+was like. She was my intimate friend. I shared her curiosity. We were
+oblished to wait till his wound was cured; and this did not take very
+long.
+
+[Illustration: Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador.]
+
+Soon after, we learned that he was in the habit of visiting daily at the
+residence of Elbob, my cousin german, who, as every one knows, is the
+best surgeon in the town. My friend Boca Vermeja's impatience to see
+this singular monster increased two-fold. We had no rest ourselves, and
+gave none to our cousin, the surgeon, till he allowed us to conceal
+ourselves in a small closet, which we entered on tiptoe without saying a
+word and scarcely venturing to breathe, just as the Englishman arrived.
+His face was not turned toward us. He took off a small cap which
+enclosed his light hair, which then fell in thick curls down the finest
+neck I ever beheld. His form presented a plumpness, a finish, an
+elegance, approaching, in my opinion, the Apollo Belvidere at Rome--a
+copy of which my uncle the sculptor possesses.
+
+Donna Boca Vermeja was transported with surprise, and delighted. I
+shared her ecstacy, and could not forbear exclaiming: "O che hermoso
+Muchacho!"
+
+These words made the young man turn round. We then saw the face of an
+Adonis on the body of a young Hercules. Donna Boca Vermeja nearly fell
+backwards at the sight:
+
+"St. James!" she exclaimed, "Holy Virgin! is it possible heretics are
+such fine men? How we have been deceived about them."
+
+Donna Boca was soon violently in love with the heretical monster. She is
+handsomer than I am, I must confess; and I must also confess that I
+became doubly jealous of her on that account. I took care to show her
+that to forsake the reverend father inquisitor, Don Jeronimo Bueno
+Caracucarador, for an Englishman, would be a crime falling nothing short
+of damnation.
+
+"Ah! my dear Las Nalgas," she said, (Las Nalgas is my name) "I would
+forsake Melchizedek himself for so fine a young man."
+
+One of the inquisitors who attended four masses daily, to obtain from
+Our Lady of Manreze the destruction of the English, heard of our
+admiration. The Reverend Father Don Caracucarador whipped us both, and
+had our dear Englishman arrested by twenty-four Alguazils of St.
+Hermandad. Johnny killed four; and was at length captured by the
+remaining twenty. He was confined in a very damp cellar, and sentenced
+to be burnt the following Sunday, in full ceremony, clothed in a
+San-bénito, wearing a sugar-loaf cap, in honor of our Savior and the
+Virgin Mary, his mother. Don Caracucarador prepared a fine sermon, but
+had no occasion for it, as the town was taken at four o'clock on the
+Sunday morning.
+
+Here Donna Las Nalgas's tale terminates. This lady was not without a
+description of wit, which in Spain we call agudéza.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+CONTINUATION OF THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN, THE YOUNG ENGLISHMAN; ALSO THOSE
+OF HIS WORTHY FATHER, D.D., M.P., AND F.R.S.
+
+
+You know the skillful conduct of the Earl of Peterborough after he took
+Barcelona, how successfully he prevented pillage, restored order, and
+rescued the Duchess of Popoli from the hands of some drunken Germans,
+who robbed and abused her. Conceive the surprise, grief, rage, and
+tears, of our friend Freind, on learning that John was confined in the
+dungeons of the holy inquisition, and condemned to the stake. You know
+that cold temperaments are frequently most energetic when great events
+call them into action. You should have seen this distracted father, whom
+you were accustomed to think imperturbable, fly to the dungeon of his
+son more rapidly than the horses at Newmarket hasten to the goal. The
+fifty soldiers who went with him were soon out of breath, and always a
+hundred paces behind. At length he reached the cell and entered it. What
+a scene! what tears! what joy! Twenty victims, devoted to the same
+ceremony, are delivered. All the prisoners take arms and fight with our
+soldiers. The buildings of the holy office are destroyed in ten minutes,
+and they breakfasted beside the ruins, on the wine and ham of the
+inquisitors.
+
+[Illustration: Condemned by the Inquisition.--He was confined to a very
+damp cellar, and sentenced to be burnt the following Sunday, in full
+ceremony, clothed in a San-bénito, wearing a sugar-loaf cap, in honor of
+our Savior and the Virgin Mary, his mother.]
+
+In the midst of the roar of cannon, the sound of trumpets and drums,
+announcing our victory to Catalonia, our friend Freind recovered his
+accustomed tranquillity of manner. He was as calm as the sky after a day
+of storm. He was raising to God a heart as serene as his countenance,
+when he perceived a black spectral figure, clad in a surplice, issue
+from a vault, and fall at his feet, crying for mercy.
+
+"Who are you?" said our friend. "Do you come from Hades?"
+
+"Almost," rejoined the other. "I am Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador,
+inquisitor. I solicit most humbly your forgiveness for wishing to roast
+your son in public. I took him for a Jew."
+
+"Supposing that to be the case," said our friend with his customary sang
+froid, "does it become you, Señor Caracucarador, to roast people alive
+because they are descended from a sect that formerly inhabited a rocky
+canton near the Syrian desert? What does it matter to you whether a man
+is circumcised or not? that he observe Easter at the full of the moon,
+or on the following Sunday? It is very bad reasoning to say, 'That man
+is a Jew; therefore I must have him burnt, and take his property.' The
+Royal Society of London do not reason in that way.
+
+"Do you know, Señor Caracucarador, that Jesus Christ was a Jew--that he
+was born, lived, and died a Jew? that he observed the passover like a
+Jew, at the full of the moon? that all his apostles were Jews? that they
+went to the temple after his death, as we are expressly told? that the
+first fifteen secret bishops of Jerusalem were Jews? But my son is no
+Jew; he belongs to the established church. How came it into your head to
+burn him alive?"
+
+The inquisitor, overawed by the learning of Monsieur Freind, and still
+prostrate at his feet, replied:
+
+"Alas! sir, we know nothing about this at the University of Salamanca.
+Forgive me, once more. The true reason is, your son took from me my
+favorite, Donna Boca Vermeja."
+
+"Ah! if he took your favorite, that's another thing. We should never
+take 'our neighbor's goods.' That is not, however, a sufficient reason
+for burning a young man to death. As Leibnitz says, 'The punishment
+should be in proportion to the crime.' You Christians on the other side
+of the British Channel, especially toward the South, make no more of
+roasting each other, be it the Counsellor Dubourg, M. Servetus, or those
+who were burned in the reign of Philippe II., surnamed El Discreto, than
+we do of roasting a joint of beef in London. But bring Miss Boca Vermeja
+before me, that I may learn the truth from her own mouth."
+
+Boca Vermeja appeared weeping, looking the handsomer for her tears, as
+women generally do.
+
+"Is it true, Miss, that you are devotedly attached to M. Caracucarador,
+and that my son has abducted you?"
+
+"Abducted me? The English gentleman! I never met with any one so amiable
+and good-looking as your son. You are very fortunate in being his
+father. I could follow him to the world's end. I always hated that ugly
+inquisitor, who whipped me and Mademoiselle Las Nalgas till he nearly
+brought blood. If you wish to make me happy, you will cause the old
+fellow to be hanged at my bedroom window."
+
+Just as Boca Vermeja was thus speaking, the Earl of Peterborough sent
+for the inquisitor Caracucarador, to have him hanged. You will not be
+surprised to hear that Mr. Freind firmly opposed this measure.
+
+"Let your just displeasure," said he, "give way to generous feelings. A
+man should never be put to death but when it is absolutely necessary for
+the safety of others. The Spaniards say the English are barbarians, who
+kill all the priests that come in their way. This might have injured the
+cause of the arch-duke, for whom you have taken Barcelona. I have
+sufficient satisfaction in rescuing my son, and putting it out of the
+power of this rascally monk to exercise his inquisitorial functions."
+
+In a word, the wise and charitable Freind was contented with getting
+Caracucarador flogged, as he had whipped Miss Boca Vermeja and Miss Las
+Nalgas.
+
+Such clemency affected the Catalonians. The persons rescued from the
+inquisition felt that our religion was better than theirs. Nearly all
+requested to be admitted members of the established church; even some
+bachelors of the University of Salamanca, who chanced to be at
+Barcelona, requested instruction. The greater part soon became
+enlightened, with the exception of a certain Don Inigo-y-Medroso,
+y-Comodios, y-Papalamiendos, who obstinately adhered to his opinions.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+SUMMARY OF THE CONTROVERSY OF THE "BUTS," BETWEEN MR. FREIND AND DON
+INIGO-Y-MEDROSO, Y-COMODIOS, Y-PAPALAMIENDOS, BACHELOR OF SALAMANCA.
+
+
+The following is a summary of the pleasant disputation, which our dear
+friend Freind and the Bachelor Don Papalamiendos held, in the presence
+of the Earl of Peterborough. This familiar conversation was called the
+dialogue of the "Buts." As you read it you will discover why.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, sir, notwithstanding all the fine things you have
+said, you must admit that your respectable established church did not
+exist before the time of Don Luther and Don Ecolampade; consequently, it
+is quite new, and can hardly be said to belong to the family.
+
+FREIND.--You might as well say I am not a descendant of my grandfather,
+because another branch of the family, living in Italy, seized on his
+will, and my claims. I have fortunately found them again; and it is now
+quite clear that I am my grandfather's grandson. You and I are, as it
+were, of the same family; but with this difference. We read our
+grandfather's testament in our mother tongue, while you are forbidden to
+read it in yours. You are the slaves of a foreigner; we listen to the
+dictates of reason.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But suppose your reason should lead you astray? For, in a
+word, you have no faith in our University of Salamanca, which has
+declared the infallibility of the pope, and his indisputable control of
+the past, the present, the future, and the paulo-post-future.
+
+FREIND.--Neither did the apostles. It is written that Peter, who denied
+his master Jesus, was severely rebuked by Paul. I have not examined the
+case to see which was in the wrong; perhaps, as is the case in most
+disputes, neither was right; but I do not find one passage in the Acts
+of the Apostles to prove that Peter was considered the master of his
+companions, and of the paulo-post-future.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But St. Peter was certainly archbishop of Rome; for
+Sanchez tells us that this great man came there in the reign of Nero,
+and filled the archbishop's throne twenty-five years under the same
+Nero, who only reigned thirteen. Besides, it is a matter of faith, and
+Don Gullandus, the prototype of the inquisition, affirms it (for we
+never read the Holy Bible), that St. Peter was at Rome during a certain
+year, for he dates one of his letters from Babylon. Now, since Babylon
+is visibly the anagram of Rome, it is clear that the pope by divine
+right is lord of the world; moreover, all the licentiates of Salamanca
+have shown that Simon Grace-of-God, first sorcerer and counsellor of
+state at the court of Nero, sent his compliments by his dog to Simon
+Barjona, otherwise called St. Peter, as soon as he came to Rome; that
+St. Peter, who was scarcely less polite, sent also his dog to compliment
+Simon Grace-of-God; and then they diverted themselves by trying which
+could soonest raise from the dead a cousin german of Nero's; that
+Grace-of-God only succeeded in effecting a partial restoration, while
+Barjona won the game by wholly restoring the dead man to life; that
+Grace-of-God sought to have his revenge by flying through the air like
+Saint Dædalus; and that Barjona broke his legs, by making him fall. On
+this account St. Peter received the Martyr's crown, being crucified with
+his heels upward. Therefore we have proved that his holiness the pope
+ought to reign over all who wear crowns; that he is lord of the past,
+the present, and of all the futures in the world.
+
+FREIND.--It is clear these things happened in the days when Hercules
+separated at a stroke the two mountains Calpe and Abyla, and crossed the
+straits of Gibraltar in his goblet. But it is not on such histories,
+however authentic they may be, that we base our religion. We found it on
+the gospel.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, sir, on what passages of the gospel? I have read a
+portion of the gospel in our theological tracts. Do you base it on the
+descent of the angel to announce to the Virgin Mary that she had
+conceived by the Holy Ghost? On the journey of the three kings after the
+star? On the massacre of all the children of the country? On the trouble
+the devil took to carry God into the wilderness, to place him on a
+pinnacle of the temple, and on the summit of a mountain from whence he
+beheld all the kingdoms of the world? On the miracle of water changed
+into wine at a village wedding? On the miracle of two thousand pigs
+drowned by the devil in a lake at the command of Jesus? On--?
+
+FREIND.--Sir, we respect these things because they are in the gospel;
+but we never speak of them, because they are too far above our weak
+human reason.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But they say you never call the Holy Virgin, Mother of
+God?
+
+FREIND.--We revere and cherish her. But we think she cares very little
+for the titles given her in this world. She is never styled the Mother
+of God in the gospel. In the year 431, there was a great dispute at the
+council of Ephesus to ascertain if Mary was Theotocos; and if Jesus
+Christ, being at the same time God and the son of Mary, Mary could be at
+the same time mother of God the Father and God the Son. We do not enter
+into these disputes of Ephesus. The Royal Society at London does not
+concern itself with such controversies.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, sir, you talk of Theotocos. What may Theotocos mean,
+if you please?
+
+FREIND.--It means Mother of God. What, are you a Bachelor of Salamanca,
+and don't understand Greek?
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But Greek! Of what use can Greek be to a Spaniard? But,
+sir, do you believe that Jesus Christ has one nature, one person, and
+one will; or two natures, two persons, and two wills; or, one will, one
+nature, and two persons; or, two wills, two persons and one nature;
+or,--?
+
+FREIND.--This, also, belongs to the Ephesian controversy and does not
+concern us.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But what does concern you, then? Do you suppose there are
+only three persons in God, or that there are three Gods in one person?
+Does the second person proceed from the first person, and the third from
+the two others, or from the second _intrinsecus_, or only from the
+first? Has the father all the attributes of the son except paternity?
+And does the third person proceed by infusion, by identification, or by
+spiration?
+
+FREIND.--This question is not mooted in the gospel. St. Paul never wrote
+the name of the Trinity.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, you always refer to the gospel, and never make
+mention of St. Bonaventura, of Albert the Great, of Tambourini, of
+Gullandus, of Escobar.
+
+FREIND.--Because I do not call myself a Dominican, a Franciscan, or a
+Jesuit. I am satisfied with being a Christian.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But if you are a Christian, tell me if you
+conscientiously think the rest of mankind will be damned?
+
+FREIND.--It does not become me to limit the compassion or the justice of
+God.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But to come to the point, if you are a Christian, what do
+you believe?
+
+FREIND.--I believe with Jesus Christ that we ought to love God and our
+neighbor, forgive our enemies, and do good for evil. These are the
+maxims of Jesus. So true are they, that no legislator, no philosopher,
+ever had other principles before him, and it is impossible that there
+can be any other. These truths never have and never can meet with
+contradiction, save from our passions.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, in regard to the passions, is it true that your
+bishops, priests, and deacons are all married?
+
+FREIND.--Quite true. St. Joseph, who passed for the father of Jesus, was
+married. James the Less, surnamed Oblia, brother of our Lord, was his
+son, who, after the death of Jesus, spent his life in the temple. St.
+Paul--the great St. Paul--was a married man.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But Grillandus and Molina assert the contrary.
+
+FREIND.--Let them say what they please, I prefer believing St. Paul
+himself on the subject. In _I. Corinthians, ix: 4-7._ he says: "Have we
+not power to eat and to drink? Have we not power to lead about a sister,
+a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the lord, and
+Cephas. Or I only and Barnabas, have we not power to forbear working?
+Who goeth a warfare at any time at his own charges? Who planteth a
+vineyard and eateth not of the fruit thereof?"
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, sir, did St. Paul really say that?
+
+FREIND.--Yes, he said that and very much more.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, really, that prodigy of the efficacy of grace?--
+
+FREIND.--It is true, sir, that his conversion was a great miracle. I
+admit, from the _Acts of the Apostles_, that he was the most cruel
+satellite of the enemies of Jesus. The _Acts_ say that he assisted at
+the stoning of Stephen. He admits himself, that when the Jews condemned
+to death a follower of Christ, he would see to the execution of the
+sentence, "detuli sententiam", I admit that Abdia, his disciple, and the
+translator Julius, the African, accused him of putting to death James
+Oblia, the brother of our Lord; but his persecutions increase the wonder
+of his conversion, and by no means prevented his having a wife. I assure
+you he was married. St. Clement of Alexandria expressly declares it.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But St. Paul, then, was a worthy man of God! Really, I am
+grieved to think he assassinated St. Stephen, and St. James, and am
+surprised to find he traveled to the third heaven. But pray continue.
+
+FREIND.--We gather from St. Clement of Alexandria that St. Peter had
+children; one St. Petronilla is mentioned among them. Eusebius, in his
+_History of the Church_ says that St. Nicolas, one of the first
+disciples, had a very handsome wife; and that the disciples blamed him
+for being over-fond and jealous. "Sirs," said he, "let any one take her
+who likes; I give her to you."
+
+In the Jewish economy, which should have lasted for ever, but to which
+nevertheless the Christian dispensation succeeded, marriage was not only
+permitted, but expressly enjoined on priests, since they were always of
+the same race. Celibacy was considered infamous.
+
+It is certain that celibacy could not have been considered a very pure
+and honorable state by the first Christians, since we find among the
+bishops excommunicated by the first councils, chiefly those who oppose
+the marriage of priests; such as Saturnians, Basilidians, Montanists,
+Encrasists, and other ans and ists. This accounts for the wife of
+Gregory of Nazianze bearing another Gregory of Nazianze, and enjoying
+the inestimable felicity of being at one and the same time the wife and
+mother of a canonized saint,--a privilege which even St. Monica, the
+mother of St. Augustin, did not enjoy.
+
+By the same reason I might name as many and even more of the ancient
+bishops who were married, and account for your not having had in the
+earlier ages of the church bishops and popes who indulged in
+fornication, adultery, and even worse crimes. Things are not so now.
+This is also the reason why the Greek church, the mother of the Latin
+church, allows priests to marry. In a word, the reason why I myself am
+married, and have a son, as fine a fellow as you can wish to see.
+
+Besides, my dear bachelor, have you not in your church seven sacraments
+which are outward signs of things invisible? Does not a bachelor of
+Salamanca enjoy the advantage of baptism as soon as he comes into the
+world; of confirmation as soon as he has committed a few follies or
+understands those of others; of communion, though a little different
+from ours, when he is fourteen years of age; of holy orders, when they
+shave the crown of his head and give him a living of twenty, thirty, or
+forty thousand piastres; and lastly of extreme unction, when he is ill?
+Must he then be deprived of the sacrament of marriage, when he is in
+health? Especially when God united Adam and Eve in marriage: Adam, the
+first bachelor in the world, since, according to your schools, he had
+knowledge by infusion; Eve, the first _female_ bachelor, since she
+tasted the tree of knowledge before her husband.
+
+THE BACHELOR.--But, if things are so, I may cease my "Buts." This is
+certain, I adopt your religion; I will belong to the established church
+of England; will marry an honest woman, who at least will pretend to
+love me while I am young, take care of me when I grow old, and whom I
+will bury decently, should I survive her. I think this is better than
+roasting men and enticing girls after the fashion of my cousin Don
+Caracucarador, the inquisitor of the faith.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+This is a faithful summary of the conversation between Mr. Freind and
+the Bachelor Don Papalamiendos, since called by us Papa Dexando. This
+curious dialogue was drawn up by Jacob Hull, one of my lord's
+secretaries.
+
+After this conversation the Bachelor took me aside and said:
+
+"This Englishman, whom I took at first for an anthropagus, must be a
+very good man; for he is a theologian and can keep his temper."
+
+I informed him that Mr. Freind was tolerant, or a quaker, and a
+descendant of the daughter of William Penn, who founded Philadelphia.
+"Quaker, Philadelphia," he cried, "I never heard of those sects."
+
+I gave him some information on the subject. He could scarcely believe
+me. It seemed to him like another universe. And, indeed, he was in the
+right.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+JOHN RETURNS TO LONDON, AND IS LED INTO BAD COMPANY.
+
+
+While our worthy philosopher Freind was enlightening the priests of
+Barcelona, and his son John delighting the ladies, Lord Peterborough
+lost all favor with the queen and arch-duke for seizing Barcelona for
+them. The courtiers censured him for taking the city contrary to all
+rule, with an army less strong by half than the garrison. At first the
+arch-duke was highly incensed; and our friend was obliged to print an
+apology for the general. Yet this arch-duke, who had come to conquer
+Spain, had not the worth of his chocolate. All Queen Anne had given him
+was squandered.
+
+Montecuculi, in his _Memoirs_, says three things are necessary to
+maintain a war; 1st, money, 2nd, money, and 3rd, money. The arch-duke
+wrote from Guadalaxara, where he was on the 11th of August, 1706, to
+Lord Peterborough, a long letter signed "Yo el Rey," in which he begged
+him to hasten to Genoa and raise on credit £100,000. So our Sartorius,
+from general of an army, thus became a Genoese banker. He communicated
+his distress to our friend Freind. They started for Genoa. I went with
+them, for you know my heart leads me thither. I admired the skill and
+spirit of conciliation my friend displayed in this delicate business. I
+saw at once that intelligence may meet every exigency. Our great Locke
+was a physician; he became the first metaphysician in Europe, and
+restored the value of the British coinage. In three days Freind raised
+the £100,000; but the court of Charles the VI. contrived to squander it
+in three weeks. After this, the general, accompanied by his theologian,
+was obliged to repair to London to justify himself before the parliament
+for conquering Catalonia against all rule, and for ruining himself in
+the common cause. The affair was protracted and vexatious, as are all
+party disputes.
+
+You know that Mr. Freind was a member of parliament before he became a
+priest; and he is the only person who has been allowed to combine
+functions so opposed. One day, when Freind was thinking over a speech he
+intended to deliver in the house (of which he was a most respectable
+member), a Spanish lady was announced as desirous of seeing him on
+particular business. It was Donna Boca Vermeja herself, and in tears.
+Our good friend ordered a luncheon. She took some refreshment, dried her
+eyes, and thus began:
+
+"You will remember, sir, when you went to Genoa, you ordered your son
+John to leave Barcelona for London, and to commence his duties as a
+clerk in the exchequer, a post which your influence had obtained for
+him. He embarked in the Triton with a young bachelor of arts, Don Papa
+Dexando, and others whom you had converted. You may well suppose that I,
+with my dear friend Las Nalgas, accompanied them."
+
+Boca Vermeja then told him, again shedding tears, how John was jealous,
+or affected to be jealous, of the bachelor,--how a certain Madame
+Clive-Hart, a very bold, spiteful, masculine, young married lady, had
+enslaved his mind,--how he lived with libertines who had no fear of
+God,--how, in a word, he neglected Boca Vermeja for the artful
+Clive-Hart; and all because Clive-Hart had a little more red and white
+in her complexion than poor Boca Vermeja.
+
+"I will look into the matter at leisure," said the worthy Mr. Freind. "I
+must now attend parliament, to look after Lord Peterborough's business."
+
+Accordingly, to parliament he went; where I heard him deliver a firm and
+concise discourse, free from commonplace epithets, and circumlocutions.
+He never _invoked_ a law or a testimony. He quoted, enforced, and
+applied them. He did not say they had taken the religion of the court by
+surprise, by accusing lord Peterborough of exposing Queen Anne's troops
+to risk; because it had nothing to do with religion. He did not call a
+conjecture a demonstration, nor forget his respect to an august
+parliament, by using common jokes. He did not call Lord Peterborough his
+client, because client signifies a plebian protected by a senator.
+Freind spoke with confidence and modesty; he was listened to in silence,
+only disturbed by cries of "Hear him, hear him."
+
+The House of Commons passed a vote of thanks to Earl Peterborough,
+instead of condemning him. His lordship obtained the same justice from
+the House of Peers, and prepared to set out with his dear Freind to
+deliver the kingdom of Spain to the arch-duke. This did not take place,
+solely because things do not always turn out as we wish them to.
+
+On leaving the house, our first care was to enquire after the health of
+John. We learnt that he was leading a dissipated and debauched life with
+Mrs. Clive-Hart, and a party of young men,--intelligent,--but atheists,
+who believed:
+
+"That man is in no respect superior to the brutes;--that he lives and
+dies as they do;--that both spring from and both return to the
+earth;--that wisdom and virtue consist in enjoyment and in living with
+those we love, as Solomon says at the end of the 'Coheleth,' which we
+call 'Ecclesiastes.'"
+
+These sentiments were chiefly advanced among them by one Warburton,[1] a
+very forward licentious fellow. I have glanced at some of the poor
+author's MSS., which heaven grant may not one day be printed. Warburton
+pretends that Moses did not believe in the immortality of the soul,
+because he never speaks of it, and considers that to be the only proof
+of his divine mission. This absurd conclusion leads to the supposition
+that the religion of the Jews is false. Infidels thence argue that ours,
+being founded thereon, is false also; and _ours_, which is the best of
+all, being false, all others are, if possible, still more false:
+therefore there is no religion. Hence some conclude that there is no
+God. Let us add to these conclusions, that this little Warburton is an
+intriguing, slandering fellow. See what peril!
+
+But worse than all, John was head over ears in debt, and had a strange
+way of paying. One of his creditors came to him with a claim for a
+hundred guineas, while we were in the house. John, who always appeared
+polite and gentle, fought his creditor, and paid him with a sword-wound.
+It was apprehended the wounded man would die; and John, notwithstanding
+lord Peterborough's protection, ran the risk of imprisonment and
+hanging.
+
+
+[1] In 1737 Bishop Warburton published his famous work, _The Divine
+Legation of Moses_, in which he asserted, "that the doctrine of a future
+state of reward and punishment was omitted in the books of Moses," and
+then proceeded to demonstrate "from that very omission, that a system
+which could dispense with a doctrine, the very bond and cement of human
+society, must have come from God, and that the people to whom it was
+given must have been placed under His immediate superintendence." In
+other words, the divine origin of the Mosaic "system" is demonstrated,
+because Moses did not teach to the chosen people the doctrine of a
+future life beyond the grave. Voltaire clearly saw the fallacy of this
+fantastic argument, and has not failed to severely satirize the right
+reverend author.
+
+Robert Carruthers, Esq., in his _Life of Alexander Pope_ styles Bishop
+Warburton "a learned, turbulent, ambitious adventurer"--"an
+indefatigable and unscrupulous divine," and says of _The Divine Legation
+of Moses_, that it was "so learned, so novel, so paradoxical, so
+arrogant and absurd, that it took the world as it were by storm, and
+challenged universal attention."
+
+Dr. Johnson says that Warburton's "diction is coarse and impure, and his
+sentences are unmeasured;" and a writer in the seventh volume of the
+_Quarterly Review_ (as quoted by George Godfrey Cuningham, Esq., in his
+_Lives of Eminent and illustrious Englishmen_) says: "the rudeness and
+vulgarity of his manners as a controvertist, removed all restraints of
+decency or decorum in scattering his jests about him. His taste seems to
+have been neither just nor delicate." He combined "the powers of a giant
+with the temper of a ruffian."
+
+Gibbon, in his _History of Christianity_, pointedly alludes to the
+author of _The Divine Legation of Moses_, and satirically styles the
+omission of the doctrine of immortality from the law of Moses, as "a
+mysterious dispensation of providence." "The real merit of Warburton,"
+he says, "was degraded by the pride and presumption with which he
+pronounced his infallible decrees."--E.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THEY WANT TO GET JOHN MARRIED.
+
+
+You remember the anguish of the venerable Freind when he learned that
+John was in the prison of the inquisition at Barcelona. Imagine his rage
+when he learned of the debauchery and dissipation of the unfortunate
+lad, his way of paying debts, and his danger of getting hanged! Yet
+Freind restrained himself. This excellent man's self-command is really
+astonishing. His reason regulates his heart, as a good master rules his
+servants. He does every thing reasonably, and judges wisely with as much
+celerity as hasty people act rashly.
+
+"This is no time to lecture John," said he. "We must snatch him from the
+precipice."
+
+You must know that the day previously, our friend had come into a
+handsome sum, left him by George Hubert, his uncle. He went himself in
+search of our great surgeon, Cheselden. We found him at home, and then
+proceeded together to the wounded creditor. The wound was inspected. It
+was not dangerous. Freind gave the sufferer a hundred guineas as a first
+step, and fifty others by way of reparation, and then asked forgiveness
+for his son. Indeed, he expressed his regret so touchingly, that the
+poor man embraced him, and, weeping, wished to return the money.
+
+This sight moved and surprised young Mr. Cheselden, whose reputation is
+becoming very great, and whose heart is as kind as his hand is skillful.
+
+I was carried beyond myself; never had I admired and loved our friend so
+much.
+
+On returning home, I asked him if he did not intend to send for his son,
+and to admonish him.
+
+"No," said he. "Let him feel his faults before I speak of them. Let us
+sup together to-night. We will see what in honesty I ought to do.
+Examples correct better than reprimands."
+
+While waiting for supper, I called on John. I found him in the state
+which all men experience after their first crime,--that is, pale, with
+sunken eyes and hoarse voice,--absent, and answering at random when
+spoken to.
+
+I told him what his father had just done.
+
+He looked at me steadily, then turned away to dash a tear from his eye.
+I argued well from this, and began to hope that John would yet prove a
+worthy man. I felt ready to clasp him in my arms, when Madame Clive-Hart
+came in, accompanied by a wild fellow, called Birton.
+
+"Well," said the lady, laughing, "have you really killed a man to-day?
+Some tiresome fellow. 'Tis well to rid the world of such people. When
+you are next in the killing mood, pray think of my husband. He plagues
+me to death."
+
+I surveyed this woman from head to foot. She was handsome, but there was
+something sinister in her countenance. John dared not reply, and,
+confused by my presence, looked downward.
+
+"What's the matter?" said Birton. "You look as if you had done something
+wrong. I come to give you absolution. Here is a little book I have just
+bought at Lintot's. It proves as clearly as two and two make four, that
+there is neither God, nor vice, nor virtue,--a very consoling fact! So,
+let us drink together."
+
+On hearing this singular discourse, I withdrew quickly, and represented
+to Mr. Freind how much his son required his advice.
+
+"I see it as clearly as you do," said this kind father; "but let us
+begin by paying his debts."
+
+They were all discharged the next day. John came and threw himself at
+his father's feet. Will you believe it? The father made no reproaches.
+He left him to conscience; only observing, "Remember, my son, there is
+no happiness apart from virtue."
+
+Mr. Freind then saw that the bachelor married Boca Vermeja, who really
+loved him, notwithstanding her tears for John. Women know how to confuse
+such feelings wonderfully. One would almost say that their hearts are a
+bundle of contradictions, perhaps because they were originally formed
+from one of our ribs.
+
+Our generous Freind gave her also a dowry, and took care to secure
+places for his converts. It is not enough to take care of people's
+souls, if we neglect to provide for their present wants.
+
+After performing these good actions, with his astonishing _sang froid_,
+he concluded he had nothing more to do to restore his son to virtue,
+than to marry him to a young person of beauty, virtue, talents, and some
+wealth. This, indeed, was the only way to wean him from the detestable
+Clive-Hart, and others, whom he frequented.
+
+I had heard speak of a Miss Primerose, a young heiress, brought up by
+her relative, Lady Hervey. The Earl of Peterborough introduced me to
+Lady Hervey. I saw Miss Primerose, and considered her a proper person to
+fulfill the wishes of my friend. John, in the midst of his dissipation,
+had great reverence and even affection for his father. He was chiefly
+affected that his father had never blamed him for his follies. Debts
+paid without informing him; wise counsels seasonably given, and without
+reprimand; proofs of friendship given from time to time, yet free from
+the familiarity which might depreciate them. All this went to John's
+heart, for he was both intelligent and sensitive.
+
+Lord Peterborough introduced the father and son to Lady Hervey. I
+perceived that the extreme beauty of John soon made a favorable
+impression on Miss Primerose; for I saw her look stealthily at him and
+blush. John seemed only polite; and Primerose admitted to Lady Hervey
+that she wished his politeness might become love.
+
+The young man soon discovered the worth of this charming girl, though he
+was the complete slave of Clive-Hart. He was like the Indian invited to
+gather celestial fruit, but restrained by the claws of a dragon.
+
+But here the recollection of what I witnessed overwhelms me. Tears
+moisten my paper. When I recover, I will resume my tale.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+A TERRIBLE ADVENTURE.
+
+
+The marriage of John and the lovely Primerose was about to be
+celebrated. Freind never felt more joy. I shared it. But the occasion
+was changed into one of deep sorrow and suffering.
+
+Clive-Hart loved John, though constantly faithless. They say this is the
+lot of those women who, violating modesty, renounce their honor.
+Especially she deceived John for her dear Birton and for another of the
+same school. They lived together in debauch; and, what is perhaps
+peculiar to our nation, they had all of them sense and worth.
+Unfortunately, they employed their sense against God. Madame
+Clive-Hart's house was a rendezvous for atheists. Well for them had they
+been such atheists as Epicurus, Leontium, Lucretius, Memmius, and
+Spinoza,--the most upright man of Holland,--or Hobbes, so faithful to
+his unfortunate king, Charles I.
+
+But however it may be, Clive-Hart, jealous of the pure and gentle
+Primerose, could not endure the marriage. She devised a vengeance, which
+I conceive to be unsurpassed even in London, where I believe our fathers
+have witnessed crimes of every kind. She learned that Miss Primerose,
+returning from shopping, would pass by her door. She took advantage of
+the opportunity, and had a sewer opened, communicating with her
+premises.
+
+Miss Primerose's carriage, on its return, was obliged to draw up at this
+obstruction. Clive-Hart goes out, and entreats her to alight and take
+some refreshment, while the passage is being cleared. This invitation
+made Miss Primerose hesitate; but she perceived John standing in the
+hall, and, yielding to an impulse stronger than her discretion, she got
+out. John offered her his hand. She enters. Clive-Hart's husband was a
+silly drunkard, as hateful to his wife as he was submissive and
+troublesome by his civility. He presents refreshments to the young lady,
+and drinks after her. Mrs. Clive-Hart takes them away instantly and
+brings others. By this time the street is cleared. Miss Primerose enters
+her carriage, and drives to her mother's.
+
+She soon falls sick, and complains of giddiness. They suppose it is
+occasioned by the motion of the carriage. But the illness increased, and
+the next day she was dying.
+
+Mr. Freind and I hastened to the house. We found the lovely creature
+pale and livid, a prey to convulsions,--her lips open, her eyes glazed,
+and always staring. Black spots disfigured her face and throat. Her
+mother had fainted on her bed. Cheselden employed in vain all the
+resources of his art. I will not attempt to describe Freind's anguish.
+It was intense. I hurried to Clive-Hart's house, and found that the
+husband was just dead, and that the wife had fled.
+
+I sought John. He could not be found. A servant told me that his
+mistress had besought him not to leave her in her misfortune, and that
+they had gone off together, accompanied by Birton, no one knew whither.
+
+Overcome by these rapid and numerous shocks, terrified at the frightful
+suspicions which haunted me, I hastened to the dying lady.
+
+"Yet," said I to myself, "if this abominable woman threw herself on
+John's generosity, it does not follow that he is an accomplice. John is
+incapable of so horrible and cowardly a crime, which he had no interest
+in committing, which deprives him of a charming wife, and renders him
+odious to the human race. Weak, he has allowed himself to be drawn away
+by a wretch, of whose crime he was ignorant. He did not see, as I have
+done, Primerose dying; he never would have deserted her pillow to
+accompany the poisoner of his bride. Oppressed by these thoughts, I
+entered, shuddering, the room which I expected contained a corpse."
+
+She was still living. Old Clive-Hart died soon, because his constitution
+was worn out by debauchery; but young Primerose was sustained by a
+temperament as robust as her blood was pure. She saw me, and enquired,
+in a tender tone, after John. A flood of tears gushed from my eyes. I
+could not reply. I was unable to speak to the father. I was obliged to
+leave her to the faithful hands that served her.
+
+We went to inform his lordship of this disaster. He is as kind to his
+friends as terrible to his foes. Never was there a more compassionate
+man with so stern a countenance. He took as much pains to assist the
+dying lady, and to overtake the abandoned woman, and discover John, as
+he had done to give Spain to the arch-duke. But all our search proved in
+vain. I thought it would kill Freind. Now we flew to the residence of
+Miss Primerose, whose dying was protracted, now to Rochester, Dover,
+Portsmouth. Couriers were dispatched every where. We wandered about at
+random, like dogs that have lost the scent;--while the unfortunate
+mother expected hourly the death of her child.
+
+At length we learned that a handsome lady, accompanied by three young
+men and some servants, had embarked at Newport, in Monmouthshire, in a
+little smuggling vessel that was in the roads, and had sailed for North
+America.
+
+Freind sighed deeply at this intelligence, then suddenly recovering
+himself, and pressing my hand, he said:
+
+"I must go to America."
+
+I replied, weeping with admiration: "I will not leave you. But what can
+you do?"
+
+"Restore my only son," said he, "to virtue and his country, or bury
+myself with him."
+
+Indeed, from our information, we could not doubt but he had fled thither
+with that horrible woman, Birton, and the other villains of the party.
+
+The good father took leave of Lord Peterborough, who returned soon after
+to Catalonia; and we went to Bristol and freighted a ship for the
+Delaware and the bay of Maryland.
+
+Freind, knowing these coasts to be in the heart of the English
+possessions, thought it right to go thither, whether his son had sought
+concealment in the North or South.
+
+He supplied himself with money, letters of credit, and provisions, and
+left a confidential servant in London, to write to him by ships that
+were leaving every week for Maryland or Pennsylvania.
+
+We started. The crew, judging from the placid countenance of my friend,
+thought we were on an excursion of pleasure. But when he was alone with
+me, his sighs expressed the depth of his anguish. At times I
+congratulated myself on the happiness of consoling such a noble mind.
+
+A west wind kept us a long time about the Sorlingues. We were obliged to
+steer for New England. What enquiries we made on every coast! What time
+and toil were thrown away! At length a northeast wind arising, we
+steered for Maryland. There, it was said, John and his companions had
+taken refuge.
+
+The fugitives had sojourned on the coast more than a month, and had
+astonished the whole colony by indulgences in luxury and debauch, till
+then unknown in that part of the world. Then they disappeared; no one
+knew whither.
+
+We advanced into the bay, intending to go to Baltimore for fresh
+information.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+WHAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA.
+
+
+On the way we found, to the right, a very handsome house. It was low,
+but convenient and neat, placed between a spacious barn and a large
+stable; the whole enclosed by a garden, well stocked with fruits of the
+country. It belonged to an old man, who invited us to alight at his
+retreat. He did not look like an Englishman; his accent showed us he was
+a foreigner. We anchored and went on shore. The old man welcomed us
+cordially, and gave us the best cheer to be had in the New World.
+
+We discreetly insinuated our wish to know to whom we were indebted for
+so kind a reception.
+
+"I am," said he, "of the race you call savages. I was born on the Blue
+Mountains, which bound this country in the west. In my childhood I was
+bitten by a rattlesnake, and abandoned. I was on the point of death. The
+father of the present Lord Baltimore, falling in with me, confided me to
+his physician; and to him I owe my life. I soon discharged the debt; for
+I have saved his in a skirmish with the neighboring tribes. He gave me,
+in return, this habitation."
+
+Mr. Freind enquired if he was of Lord Baltimore's religion?
+
+"How," said he, "would you have me profess another man's religion? I
+have my own."
+
+This short and energetic answer made us reflect a little.
+
+"You have, then," said I, "your own law and your own God?"
+
+"Yes," he replied, with an assurance wholly free from pride. "My God is
+there," and he pointed to heaven. "My law is here," and he put his hand
+on his breast.
+
+My friend was struck with admiration, and, pressing my hand, he said:
+
+"This simple nature reasons more wisely than all the bachelors with whom
+we conversed at Barcelona."
+
+He was anxious to know if he could gain any information respecting his
+son John. It was a weight that oppressed him. He enquired if his host
+had heard speak of some young people, who had made a great noise in the
+neighborhood.
+
+"Indeed I have," said he, "I received them in my house; and they were so
+satisfied with the reception I gave them, that they have carried away
+one of my daughters."
+
+Judge of my friend's distress at this intelligence. In his emotion, he
+could not avoid exclaiming:
+
+"What! Has my son run away with your daughter?"
+
+"Good Englishman," said the host, "do not let that grieve you. I am glad
+to find he is your son. He is handsome, well made, and seems courageous.
+He did not run away with my dear Parouba; for you must know that Parouba
+is her name, because it is mine. Had he taken off Parouba, it would have
+been a robbery; and my five sons, who are now hunting some forty or
+fifty miles from here, would not have endured such an affront. It is a
+great sin to thieve. My daughter went of her own accord with these young
+people. She has gone to see the country, a pleasure one cannot deny to
+one of her age. These travelers will bring her back to me before a month
+is passed. I am sure of it. They promised to do so."
+
+These words would have made me laugh, had not the evident distress of my
+friend severely afflicted me.
+
+In the evening, just as we were about to start to take advantage of the
+wind, one of Parouba's sons arrived out of breath, his face expressing
+horror and despair.
+
+"What is the matter, my son? I thought you were hunting far away. Are
+you wounded by some savage beast?"
+
+"No, father,--not wounded, yet in pain."
+
+"But whence do you come, son?"
+
+"From a distance of forty miles, without stopping; and I am almost
+dead."
+
+The aged father makes him sit down. They give him restoratives. Mr.
+Freind and I, his little brothers and sisters, with the servants, crowd
+around him. When he recovered his breath, he exclaimed:
+
+"Alas, my sister Parouba is a prisoner of war, and will no doubt be
+killed."
+
+The worthy Parouba was grieved at this recital. Mr. Freind, feeling for
+him as a father, was struck to the very heart. At last, the son informed
+us that a party of silly young Englishmen had attacked, for diversion,
+the people of the mountains. He said, they had with them a very
+beautiful lady and her maid; and he knew not how his sister came to be
+with them. The handsome English lady had been scalped and killed; and
+his sister captured.
+
+"I come here for aid against the people of the Blue Mountains. I will
+kill them too, and will retake my dear sister, or perish."
+
+Mr. Friend's habits of self-command supported him in this trying moment.
+
+"God has given me a son," said he. "Let him take both father and son,
+when the eternal decree shall go forth. My friend, I am tempted to think
+God sometimes acts by a special providence, since he avenges in America
+crimes committed in Europe, and since this wicked Clive-Hart died as she
+deserved. Perhaps the Sovereign of the universe does in his government
+punish even in this world crimes committed here. I dare not assert; I
+wish to think so; indeed I should believe it, were not such an opinion
+opposed to all metaphysical laws."
+
+After these sad reflections on an event common in America, Freind
+resumed his usual demeanor.
+
+"I have a good ship," said he to his host, "with abundant stores. Let us
+go up the gulf as near as we may to the Blue Mountains. My most anxious
+business now is to save your daughter. Let us go to your countrymen, say
+I bear the pipe of peace--that I am the grandson of Penn. That name
+alone will suffice."
+
+At the name of Penn, so much revered throughout North America, the
+worthy Parouba and his son felt the greatest respect and the greatest
+hope. We embarked, and in thirty-six hours reached Baltimore.
+
+We were scarcely in sight of this almost desert place, when we saw in
+the distance a numerous band of mountaineers descending to the plain,
+armed with axes, tomahawks, and those muskets which Europeans so
+foolishly sold to them, to procure skins. Already you might hear their
+frightful howlings. From another side we saw four persons approaching on
+horseback, accompanied by others on foot. We were taken for people of
+Baltimore, come there for the purpose of fighting. The horsemen galloped
+toward us, sword in hand. Our companions prepared to receive them. Mr.
+Freind, observing them steadily, shuddered for a moment; but soon
+resuming his sang-froid.
+
+"Do not stir, my friends," said he. "Leave all to me."
+
+He advanced alone and unarmed toward the party. In a moment, we saw the
+chief let fall the bridle from his horse, spring to the ground, and fall
+prostrate. We uttered a cry of surprise, and advanced. It was John
+himself, who, bathed in tears, had fallen at the feet of his father.
+Neither of them was able to speak. Birton, and the two horsemen with
+him, alighted. But Birton, in his characteristic way, said:
+
+"My dear Freind, I did not expect to see you here. You and I seem born
+for adventures. I am glad to see you."
+
+Freind, without deigning to reply, looked toward the army of
+mountaineers, now approaching us. He walked toward them, accompanied by
+Parouba, who acted as interpreter.
+
+"Fellow countrymen," said Parouba, "behold a descendant of Penn, who
+brings you the pipe of peace."
+
+At these words, the eldest of the tribe raising his hands and eyes to
+heaven, exclaimed:
+
+"A son of Penn! He is welcome! May the Penns live for ever! The great
+Penn is our Manitou, our god. He and his were the only Europeans who did
+not deceive us, and seize on our land. He bought the territory we gave
+up to him; he paid for it liberally; he maintained peace among us; he
+brought us remedies for the few diseases we had caught from the
+Europeans. He taught us new arts. We never dug up against him and
+against his children the hatchet of war. For the Penns we always
+entertain respect."
+
+Freind immediately sent for thirty hams, as many pies and fowls, with
+two hundred bottles of Pontac, from the ship. He seated himself close to
+the chief of the Blue Mountains. John and his companions assisted at the
+festival. John would rather have been a hundred feet under the earth.
+His father said nothing to him; and this silence increased his
+confusion.
+
+Birton, who cared for nothing, seemed very jovial. Freind, before he
+began to eat, said to Parouba:
+
+"One person, very dear to you, is waiting here. I mean your daughter."
+
+The chief of the Blue Mountains ordered her to be brought. She had
+suffered no injury; she smiled to her brother and father, as if she had
+only returned from a walk.
+
+I took advantage of the freedom of the meal, to enquire why the warriors
+of the Blue Mountains had put to death Madame Clive-Hart, and had done
+nothing to Parouba's daughter.
+
+"Because we are just," returned the chief. "That proud English woman
+belonged to the party that attacked us. She killed one of our men by
+firing a pistol behind him. We did nothing to Parouba, as soon as we
+ascertained that she was a daughter of our tribes, and only came here
+for diversion. Every one should be treated according to his desert."
+
+Freind was affected by this maxim, but he represented to them that the
+custom of burning captives at the stake, was degrading to worthy people;
+and that, with so much virtue, they should be less ferocious.
+
+The chief then asked us what we did with those whom we killed in battle.
+
+"We bury them."
+
+"I understand. You leave them for worms to eat. Cannibals think proper
+to give themselves the preference. Their stomachs are a more honorable
+grave."
+
+Birton supported with pleasure the opinions of the mountaineer. He said,
+the custom of boiling and roasting a neighbor must be both ancient and
+natural, since it prevailed in both hemispheres; and therefore it must
+be an innate idea;--that men were hunted before beasts, because it was
+easier to kill men than wolves;--that if the Jews, in their books, so
+long unknown, imagined that a certain Cain killed a certain Abel, it
+could only be with a view to eat him--that the same Jews admit they had
+often fed on human flesh;--that the best historians describe the Jews as
+eating the bleeding flesh of Romans, whom they massacred in Egypt,
+Cyprus, and Asia, in their revolts against the emperors Trajan and
+Adrian.
+
+We allowed him to indulge in these coarse jokes, which, though
+unfortunately true at the bottom, had neither Grecian wit nor Roman
+urbanity.
+
+Freind, without answering him, addressed the natives. Parouba
+translated, phrase by phrase. Tillotson himself never spoke with more
+force. The insinuating Smaldridge never displayed more touching graces.
+The great secret of eloquence is to convince. He proved to them,
+accordingly, that the execrable custom of burning captives, inspired a
+ferocity destructive to the human race; for this reason, they were
+strangers to the comforts of society and the tillage of the ground.
+
+At last, they all swore by their great Manitou, that they would not burn
+men and women again.
+
+Thus, from a single conversation, Freind became their legislator, like
+an Orpheus taming tigers. In vain may the Jesuits describe their
+miracles in letters which are rarely curious or edifying; they can never
+equal our good friend.
+
+After loading the chiefs of the Blue Mountains with presents, he
+conducted the worthy Parouba back to his residence. Young Parouba, with
+his sister, accompanied us. The others went hunting in the distant
+forest.
+
+John, Birton, and his companions, also embarked in the ship.
+
+Freind persisted in his plan of not reproaching his son, whenever the
+young scamp did wrong. He left him to self-examination, and to consume
+his heart, as Pythagoras has it. Nevertheless, he took up the letter
+thrice, which had been received from England, and looked at his son as
+he read it. The young man would then cast his eyes on the ground; and
+respect and repentance might be read on his face.
+
+Birton continued as gay and noisy as if he had just returned from the
+play. He was in character like the late Duke of Rochester, extreme in
+debauchery, bravery, sentiments, language, and, in his Epicurean
+philosophy, attaching himself only to the extraordinary and soon
+disgusted even then; having the turn of mind that mistakes probabilities
+for demonstrations; more wise and eloquent than any young man of his
+age; but too indolent to be profound in any thing.
+
+While dining with us on board, Mr. Freind said to me:
+
+"Indeed, my dear friend, I hope God will inspire these young people with
+purer morals, and that Clive-Hart's terrible example will be a lesson to
+them."
+
+Birton, hearing these words, said, in a disdainful tone:
+
+"For a long time I had been dissatisfied with that wicked Clive-Hart.
+Indeed, I scarcely care more for her than I do for a trussed fowl. But
+do you believe there exists (I don't know where) a being perpetually
+occupied in punishing the wicked men and women who people and depopulate
+the four quarters of our little world? Do you forget that the terrible
+Mary, daughter of Henry VIII., was happy till her death? and yet she had
+caused the execution of eight hundred citizens, of both sexes, on the
+pretext that they did not believe in transubstantiation and the pope.
+Her father, nearly as cruel, and her husband, more profoundly wicked,
+spent their lives in enjoyment. Pope Alexander IV., worse than these,
+was still more fortunate. All his crimes succeeded. He died at the age
+of seventy-two, rich and powerful, courted by the kings of the age.
+Where, then, is this just and avenging God?"
+
+Mr. Freind, with austerity and calmness, replied:
+
+"It seems to me, sir, you ought not to say 'there is no God.' Remember,
+Locke and Newton never pronounced that word but in a tone of reverence,
+that every one remarked."
+
+"What care I," returned Birton, "for two men's grimaces? How did Newton
+look, when he wrote his _Commentary on the Apocalypse_? Or Locke, when
+he wrote the _Dialogue between a Parrot and the Prince Maurice_?"
+
+Then Freind repeated the golden words which should be graven on every
+heart:
+
+"Let us forget the dreams of great men; and remember the truths they
+have taught us."
+
+This reply gave way to a well-sustained conversation, more interesting
+than that of the bachelor of Salamanca. I sat in a corner and took
+notes. The company drew round the disputants. The worthy Parouba, his
+son, and daughter, John's debauched companions, and John himself, with
+his head resting on his hands,--all listened with eager attention.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+DIALOGUE BETWEEN FREIND AND BIRTON ON ATHEISM.
+
+
+FREIND.--I will not repeat to you, sir, the metaphysical arguments of
+our celebrated Clarke; I only exhort you to read them again. They are
+rather intended to convince than affect you. I shall confine myself to
+arguments calculated to touch your heart.
+
+BIRTON.--You will gratify me very much. I like to be amused and
+interested. I hate sophisms. Metaphysical arguments seem to me like
+balloons filled with air used between the disputants. The bladders
+burst; and nothing remains.
+
+FREIND.--It is possible there may be some obscurity--some bladders--in
+the deep things of Clarke, the respectable Arian. Perhaps he was
+deceived on the subject of actual infinity. Perhaps, when he took upon
+himself to comment on God, he follows too closely a commentator of
+Homer, who attributes ideas to his author which he never entertained.
+
+At the words "infinity," "Homer," "commentators," the worthy Parouba and
+his daughter, and even a few of the English, seemed disposed to go and
+take an airing on the deck. But Freind promising to be intelligible,
+they consented to remain. I explained in a whisper to Parouba scientific
+expressions, which a native of the Blue Mountains was not likely to
+understand so well as a doctor of Oxford or Cambridge.
+
+FREIND.--It would be sad, indeed, if we could not be sure of the
+existence of God without being metaphysicians. In all England, scarcely
+a hundred minds would be found capable of fathoming the mysteries of the
+_for_ and _against_; and the rest of the world would be enveloped in
+ignorance,--a prey to brutal passions,--swayed by instinct alone,--and
+only capable of reasoning on the vulgar notions of their carnal
+interests. To find out God, I only require you to make one effort,--to
+open your eyes.
+
+BIRTON.--I see your aim. You are returning to the worn-out arguments
+that the sun turns on its axis in twenty-five days and a half, in spite
+of the absurd inquisition of Rome;--that the light comes to us reflected
+from Saturn in fifteen minutes, in spite of the absurd supposition of
+Descartes;--that every fixed star is a sun, like ours, surrounded by
+planets; that the countless stars, scattered through space, obey
+mathematical laws, discovered and proved by the great Newton;--that a
+catechist announces God to children, and that Newton reveals him to the
+sage, as a philosophical Frenchman said, who was persecuted in his own
+country for asserting as much. Do not trouble yourself to bring before
+me the ceaseless order which prevails in all parts of the universe. All
+that exists must have order of some sort. Rarefied matter must take a
+higher place than denser substances. The strongest press upon the
+weakest. Bodies moved with a greater impulse, progress more rapidly than
+those moved with less. Things arrange themselves in this way of their
+own accord. In vain, after drinking a pint of wine, like Esdras, would
+you talk to me for a hundred and sixty hours together without shutting
+the mouth, I should not be convinced. Do you wish me to adopt an eternal
+being, infinite and immutable, who saw fit, (I do not know when,) to
+create from nothing, things which change every moment, and spiders to
+disembowel flies? Would you have me suppose, with the gossip Niewentyt,
+that God gave us ears that we might have faith? since faith cometh by
+hearing. No! No! I will not believe these quacks who have sold their
+drugs at a good price to fools. I keep to the little book of a
+Frenchman, who maintains that nothing exists nor can exist but nature;
+that nature does all, and is _all_; that it is impossible and
+contradictory that any thing can exist beyond ALL. In a word, I only
+believe in nature.
+
+FREIND.--What if I tell you there is no such thing as nature; and that
+in us, around us, a thousand millions of leagues from us, all is art,
+without any exception.
+
+BIRTON.--What? All art! That's something new.
+
+FREIND.--Few observe that. Nothing, however, is more true. I shall
+always say, make use of your eyes, and you will recognize and adore God.
+Think how those vast globes, which you see revolve in their immense
+orbits, observe deep mathematical laws. There is then a great calculator
+whom Plato called the eternal geometrician. You admire those newly
+invented machines, called orreries, because Lord Orrery invented them by
+imitating the maker. It is a feeble copy of our planetary system and its
+revolutions; also the periods of the changes of the solstice and equinox
+which bring us from day to day a new polar planet. This period, this
+slow course of about twenty-six thousand years, could not be effected in
+our feeble hands by human orreries. The machine is very imperfect; it
+must be turned by a handle; yet it is a _chef-d'œuvre_ of the skill
+of our artisans. Conceive, then, the power and patience, the genius, of
+the eternal architect, if we may apply such terms to the supreme being.
+
+When I described an orrery to Parouba, he said:
+
+"If the copy indicates genius, how much more must there be in the
+original?"
+
+All present, English and American, felt the force of these words, and
+raised their hands to heaven.
+
+Birton remained thoughtful. Then he cried:
+
+"What, all art? Nature the result of art? Can it be possible?"
+
+FREIND.--Now, consider yourself; examine with what art, never
+sufficiently explored, all is constructed within and without for all
+your wishes and actions. I do not pretend now to lecture on anatomy. You
+know well enough there is not one superfluous vessel, nor one that does
+not, in the exercise of its functions, depend on neighboring vessels. So
+artificial is the arrangement throughout the body, that there is not a
+single vein without valves and sluices, making a passage for the blood.
+From the roots of the hair to the toes, all is art, design, cause, and
+effect. Indeed, we cannot suppress feelings of indignation toward those
+who presume to deny final causes, and have the rashness to say that the
+mouth was not made to eat and speak with--that the eyes are not
+admirably contrived for seeing, the ears for hearing, the nerves for
+feeling. Such audacity is madness. I cannot conceive it.
+
+Let us admit that every animal renders testimony to the supreme
+fabricator.
+
+The smallest herb perplexes human intellect. So true is this that the
+aggregate toil of all men could not create a straw unless the seed be
+sown in the earth. Let it not be said that the seed must rot in the
+earth to produce. Such nonsense should not be listened to now.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The company felt the force of these proofs more forcibly than the
+others, because they were more palpable. Birton murmured: "Must I then
+acknowledge God? We shall see. It is not yet proved."
+
+John remained thoughtful, and seemed affected.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FREIND.--No, my friends. We make nothing, we can do nothing. It is in
+our power to arrange, unite, calculate, weigh, measure, but, _to make_!
+What a word! The essential Being, existing by Himself, alone can make.
+This is why quacks, who labor at the philosopher's stone, prove
+themselves such fools. They boast that they create gold, and they cannot
+even create clay. Let us then confess, my friends, that there is a
+necessary and incomprehensible Being who made us.
+
+BIRTON.--If he exist, where is he? Why is he concealed? Has any one ever
+seen him? Should the creator of good hide himself?
+
+FREIND.--Did you ever see Sir Christopher Wren, the architect of Saint
+Paul's, when you were in London? Yet it is clear that church is the work
+of a great architect.
+
+BIRTON.--Every one knows that Wren erected, at a great expense, the vast
+edifice in which Burgess, when he preaches, sends us to sleep. We know
+very well why and how our fathers built it. But why and how did God make
+the universe from nothing? You know well the ancient maxim: "Nothing can
+create nothing; nothing returns to nothing." No one ever doubted that
+truth. Your Bible itself says that your God made heaven and earth,
+though the heaven, that is, the assemblage of stars, is as superior to
+the earth, as the earth itself is to one blade of grass. But your Bible
+does not tell us that God made heaven and earth from nothing. It does
+not pretend that the Lord made woman from nothing. She was kneaded in a
+very singular way, from a rib taken from her husband's side. According
+to the Bible, chaos existed before the world; therefore matter must be
+as eternal as your God.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A slight murmur then went round the company; "Birton might be right,"
+they said.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FREIND.--I think I have proved to you that there is a supreme
+intelligence; an eternal power to whom we owe our passing existence. I
+have not engaged to tell you the how and the why. God has given me
+sufficient reason to know that he exists, but not enough to discover
+whether matter has been subject to him from eternity, or whether he
+created it in time. What have you to do with the creation of matter,
+provided you acknowledge a God the ruler of matter and of yourself? You
+ask me where God is? I do not know. I ought not to know. I know that he
+is; I know that he is my maker; that he makes all, and that we ought to
+depend on his goodness.
+
+BIRTON.--His goodness! Are you jesting with me? Did you not tell me to
+make use of my eyes? Make use of yours. Glance at the world, and then
+talk of the goodness of God.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Mr. Freind saw that he had now reached the most difficult part of the
+dispute, and that Birton was preparing a rude assault. He saw that the
+hearers, especially the Americans, together with himself, required a
+little respite. Recommending himself therefore to God, they went on deck
+for exercise. When tea was served, the disputation was renewed.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+ON ATHEISM.
+
+
+BIRTON.--You must not expect such success, sir, on the subject of
+goodness, as you have had on ingenuity and power. First, I shall touch
+on the misconstructions of our globe, in many instances opposed to the
+cleverness so much boasted of; then I intend to dwell on the perpetual
+crimes and misfortunes of the inhabitants; and you will judge of the
+great ruler's paternal affection for them.
+
+I shall begin by telling you that in Gloucestershire, my county, when we
+breed horses, we rear them with care, in fine pasturage and good
+stables, with hay and oats. Pray, what shelter and food had these poor
+Americans, when we discovered their continent? They were obliged to
+scour over thirty or forty miles for food. All the northern coast of the
+old world is exposed to the same cruel necessity; and from Swedish
+Laponia to the Sea of Japan, a hundred tribes spend a life as short as
+it is wretched, in the most complete want, amidst eternal snows.
+
+Fine climates are continually exposed to destructive scourges. There we
+walk over burning precipices, covered by fertile plains, which prove but
+deadly snares. There is no hell but this, doubtless; and it opens a
+hundred times beneath our feet.
+
+They tell us of an universal deluge, an event physically impossible, and
+at which all sensible people laugh. But they console us by saying it
+only lasted ten months. I wonder it did not put out the fires which have
+since destroyed so many flourishing towns. Your St. Augustin tells us of
+a hundred cities burnt or swallowed up in Lydia, by an earthquake.
+Volcanoes have several times devastated lovely Italy. As a crowning
+misfortune, the inhabitants of the Arctic Circle are not exempt from
+these subterranean fires. The Icelander, always in alarm, has hunger
+staring him in the face, and a hundred feet of flame or ice to the right
+or left, under their Mount Hecla; for the great volcanoes are always
+found among terrible mountains.
+
+It is in vain to say that mountains of two thousand toises in elevation
+are nothing on a globe nine thousand miles in diameter, or like the
+irregularities of an orange compared with the bulk of that fruit--that
+it is scarcely one foot to every three thousand feet. Alas! What then
+are we, if high mountains are but as figures one foot high for every
+three thousand feet, or four inches for every nine thousand inches? We
+are then animals absolutely imperceptible; yet we are liable to be
+crushed by all that surrounds us, though our infinite littleness, so
+closely bordering on nothing, might seem to secure us from all
+accidents. Besides the countless cities, destroyed and re-destroyed like
+as many ant-hills, what shall we say to the seas of sand that cross the
+centre of Africa, and whose burning waves, raised by the wind, have
+buried entire armies? What is the use of the vast deserts on the borders
+of Syria,--deserts so horrible that the ferocious animals, called Jews,
+imagined they had reached Paradise when they passed from these scenes of
+horror into a little corner of land where they could cultivate a few
+acres? It is not enough that man (the noble creature) should be so ill
+lodged, clothed, and fed, for so many ages. He comes into the world to
+live for a few days, perplexed by deceitful hopes and real vexations.
+His body, contrived with useless art, is a prey to all the ills
+resulting from that very art. He lives between the dangers of poison and
+plague. No one can remember the list of ills we are subject to; and the
+modest doctors of Switzerland pretend they can cure them all.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+While Birton said this, the company listened with attention and even
+emotion. Parouba said "Let us see how the doctor will get over this."
+
+Even John said in a low tone: "On my word, he is right. I was a fool to
+be so soon touched by my father's conversation."
+
+Mr. Freind waited till their imaginations were a little recovered from
+the assault, and then resumed the discussion.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+FREIND.--A young theologian would answer these sad truths by sophisms,
+backed with quotations from St. Basil and St. Cyril. For my part, I
+shall admit that there are many physical evils in the world. I will not
+even lessen the number, though Mr. Birton has seen fit to exaggerate. I
+ask you, my dear Parouba, is not your climate made for you? It cannot
+be injurious, since neither you nor your companions wish to leave it.
+Esquimaux, Icelanders, Laplanders, Asiatics, and Indians, never think of
+leaving theirs. The reindeer, which God has sent to clothe and feed
+them, die when transported to another zone. Laplanders themselves die in
+southern climates. The south of Siberia is too warm for them; here they
+would be burnt. It is evident that God made every kind of animal and
+vegetable for the clime in which it thrives. Negroes, a race of men so
+different to ours, are so thoroughly formed for their country, that
+thousands of them have preferred death to slavery elsewhere. The camel
+and ostrich are quite at home in the sands of Africa. The bull abounds
+in fertile countries, where the grass is ever fresh for his nourishment.
+Cinnamon and spice only grow in India. Barley is only useful in those
+countries where God has appointed it to grow. From one end of America to
+the other, you have different kinds of food. The vine cannot be brought
+to perfection in England, nor in Sweden and Canada. This is the reason
+that in some countries the elements of religious rites consist in bread
+and wine; and they do well to thank God for the food and beverage his
+goodness has provided; and Americans would do well to thank him for
+their Indian corn and arrow-root. Throughout the world God has suited
+all animals, from the snail to man, to the countries in which he has
+placed them. Let us not reproach Providence when we owe him praises.
+
+But to consider scourges, such as inundations, volcanoes, earthquakes.
+If you confine your attention to the accidents which sometimes happen to
+the wheels of the eternal machine, you may well consider God as a
+tyrant; but observe his ceaseless benefits, and he becomes a
+compassionate father. You have quoted Augustin and his account of the
+destruction of a hundred cities; but remember the African rhetorician
+often contradicts himself and was prodigal of exaggerations in his
+writings. He wrote of earthquakes as he did of the efficacy of grace,
+and the damnation of children dying without baptism. Has he not said in
+his thirty-seventh sermon, that he had seen people at Ethiopia with one
+eye in the middle of the forehead like the Cyclops, and a whole race
+without heads?
+
+We, who are not fathers of the church, ought not to go beyond nor to
+stop short of truth; and the truth is, that of the houses destroyed, we
+cannot reckon that more than one out of every hundred thousand, is
+destroyed by the fires necessary to the due performance of the
+operations of the world.
+
+So essential to the nature of the universe is fire, that but for it
+there would be no sun nor stars, no animals, vegetables, or minerals.
+The fire, placed under the earth, is subject to fixed natural laws. Some
+disasters may nevertheless occur. You cannot say a man is a poor artisan
+when an immense machine, formed by him, lasts unimpaired for years. If a
+man invented a hydraulic engine to water a province, would you disparage
+his work because it destroys some insects?
+
+I have shown you that the machine of the world is the work of an
+intelligent and powerful being; you, who are intelligent, ought to
+admire him,--you, who are laden with his gifts, ought to adore him.
+
+But how, you inquire, can the wretches who are condemned to languish
+under incurable evils--how can they admire and love? I must tell you,
+that such ills are generally brought on ourselves, or come to us from
+our fathers, who abused their bodies, and not from the great fabricator.
+No disease but decrepitude was known in America till we introduced
+strong liquors, the source of all evils.
+
+Let us remember that in Milton's Poem, the simple Adam is made to
+inquire if he will live long. Yes, is the reply, if you take nothing to
+excess. Observe this rule, my friends. Can you require that God should
+let you live for ages, as the reward of your gluttony, your drunkenness,
+your incontinence, and your indulgence in infamous passions, which
+corrupt the blood and necessarily shorten life?
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I approved of this reply. Parouba liked it; but Birton was not moved. I
+read in John's eyes that he was still doubtful. Birton rejoined in these
+terms:
+
+BIRTON.--Since you have made use of common arguments, with a few novel
+remarks, I may be allowed to follow your plan. If so good and powerful a
+God existed, surely he would not have suffered evil to enter the world,
+nor have devoted his creatures to grief and crime. If he cannot prevent
+evil, he is not almighty; if he will not, he is cruel.
+
+The annals of the Brahmins only extend back 8,000 years; those of the
+Chinese only 5,000. Our knowledge is but of yesterday; but, in that
+brief space, all is horror. Murder has been the practice from one end of
+the earth to the other; and men have been weak enough to give to those
+men who slew the greatest number of their fellow creatures, the titles
+of heroes, demi-gods, and even gods.
+
+In America there were left two great nations, beginning to enjoy the
+sweets of peace and civilization, when the Spaniards came there to slay
+eleven millions. They hunted men down with dogs; and King Ferdinand of
+Castile gave those dogs pensions for their services.
+
+The heroes who subdued the New World, massacred innocent and helpless
+babes, murdered peaceable and defenceless Indians, and committed the
+most inhuman barbarities! They roasted King Guatimozin, in Mexico, on a
+gridiron. They hastened to Peru to convert the Inca, Atahualpa. A
+priest, named Almagro, son of a priest condemned to be hanged in Spain
+for highway robbery, went there with one Pizarro, to inform the Emperor
+of the Peruvians, by the voice of another priest, that a third priest,
+named Alexander IV., polluted by incest, assassination, and homicide,
+had given, with his full consent (_proprio motu_) and with full power,
+not only Peru, but one half of the New World, to the King of Spain; and
+that Atahualpa ought instantly to submit, under pain of suffering the
+indignation of the apostles Peter and Paul. But as this king knew as
+little of Latin as the priest who read the papal bull, he was instantly
+declared heretical and incredulous.
+
+They burned Atahualpa, as they had burned Guatimozin. They slew his
+people; and all to gain that hard and yellow earth which has only served
+to depopulate and impoverish Spain; for it has made her neglect the
+cultivation of the earth, which really nourishes man.
+
+Now, my dear Mr. Freind, if the fantastic and ridiculous being men call
+the devil, had wished to make men in his image, would he have made them
+otherwise? Do not, then, attribute such an abominable work to God.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+This speech brought the party round again to Birton's views. I saw John
+rejoice in himself; even young Parouba heard with horror of the priest
+Almagro--of the priest who read the Latin bull--of the priest Alexander
+IV.---of all Christians who committed, under pretence of devotion, such
+crimes to obtain gold. I confess, I trembled for Freind. I despaired of
+his cause. He replied, however, without embarrassment.
+
+FREIND.--Remember, my friends, there is a God. This I proved to you, you
+agreed to it, and after being driven to admit that he exists, you strive
+to find out his imperfections, vices, and wickedness.
+
+I am far from asserting, with some reasoners, that private ills form the
+general good. This is too ridiculous a sentiment. I admit, with grief,
+that the world contains much moral and physical evil: but, since it is
+certain that God exists, it is also certain that all these evils cannot
+prevent God's existence. He cannot be cruel. What interest could make
+him so? There are horrible evils in the world, my friends. Let us not
+swell their number. It is impossible that God can be other than good;
+but men are perverse, and make a detestable use of the liberty that God
+has given and ought to have given,--that is, the power of exercising
+their wills, without which they would be simple machines, formed by a
+wicked being, to be broken at his caprice.
+
+All enlightened Spaniards agree that a small number of their ancestors
+abused this liberty so far as to commit crimes that make human nature
+shudder. The second Don Carlos did what he could to repair the
+atrocities committed by the Spaniards under Ferdinand and Charles V.
+
+If there be crime in the world, my friends, there is virtue as well.
+
+BIRTON.--Ah! ha! virtue! A good joke! I should like to see this virtue.
+Where is she to be found?
+
+At these words I could not contain myself.
+
+"You may find her," said I, "in the worthy Mr. Freind, in Parouba, even
+in yourself when your heart is cleansed of its vices."
+
+He blushed; and John also. The latter looked down and seemed to feel
+remorse. His father surveyed him with compassion and resumed.
+
+FREIND.--Yes, dear friends. If there have always been crimes; there have
+always been virtues too. Athens had such men as Socrates, as well as
+such as Anitus. Rome had Catos, as well as Syllas. Nero frightened the
+world by his atrocities, but Titus, Trajan, and the Antonines, consoled
+it by their benevolence, My friend will explain to Parouba who these
+great men were. Fortunately, I have Epictetus in my pocket. Epictetus
+was a slave, but the equal of Marcus Aurelius in mind. Listen; and may
+all who pretend to teach men hear what Epictetus says to himself,--"God
+made me; I feel this; and shall I dare to dishonor him by infamous
+thoughts, criminal actions, and base desires?" His mind agreed with his
+conversation. Marcus Aurelius, on the throne of Europe and two parts of
+our hemisphere, did not think otherwise than the slave Epictetus. The
+one was never humiliated by meanness, nor the other dazzled by
+greatness; and when they wrote their thoughts it was for the use of
+their disciples, and not to be extolled in the papers. Pray, in your
+opinion, were not Locke, Newton, Tillotson, Penn, Clarke, the good man
+called "The Man of Ross," and many others, in and beyond your island,
+models of virtue?
+
+You have alluded to the cruel and unjust wars of which so many nations
+have been guilty. You have described the abominations of Christians in
+Mexico and Peru; you might add the St. Bartholomew of France and the
+Irish massacre. But are there not people who have always held in
+abhorrence the shedding of blood? Have not the Brahmins in all ages
+given this example to the world? and, even in this country, have we not
+near us, in Pennsylvania, our Philadelphians, whom they attempt in vain
+to ridicule by the name of Quakers, and who have always hated war?
+
+Have we not the Carolinas, where the great Locke dictated laws? In these
+two lands of virtue, all citizens are equal; all consciences are free;
+all religions good; provided they worship God. There all men are
+brethren. You have seen, Mr. Birton, the inhabitants of the Blue
+Mountains lay down their arms before a descendant of Penn. They felt the
+force of virtue. You persist in disavowing it. Because the earth
+produces poisons as well as wholesome plants, will you prefer the
+poisons?
+
+BIRTON.--Oh, sir, your poisons are not to the point. If God made them,
+they are his work. He is master, and does all. His hand directs
+Cromwell's, when he signs the death warrant of Charles I. His arm
+conducts the headsman's, who severs his head from the body. No, I cannot
+admit that God is a homicide.
+
+FREIND.--Nor I. Pray, hear me. You will admit that God governs by
+general laws. According to these laws, Cromwell, a monster of fanaticism
+and envy, determines to sacrifice Charles I. to his own interest, which,
+no doubt, all men seek to promote, though they do not understand it
+alike. According to the laws of motion established by God, the
+executioner cuts off his head. But assuredly it is not God who commits
+the assassination by a particular act of his will. God was not Cromwell,
+nor Ravaillac, nor Balthazar Gerard, nor the preaching friar, James
+Clement. God does not permit, nor command, nor authorize crime. But he
+has made man; he has established laws of motion; and these eternal laws
+are equally executed by the good man who stretches out his hand to the
+poor, and by the hand of a villain who assassinates his brother. In the
+same way that God did not extinguish the sun, or swallow up Spain, to
+punish Cortez, Almagro, and Pizarro, so, also, he does not send a
+company of angels to London, nor make a hundred thousand pipes of
+Burgundy to descend from heaven to delight the hearts of his dear
+Englishmen, when they do good. His general providence would become
+ridiculous, if thus made manifest to every individual; and this is so
+striking, that God never punishes a criminal immediately, by a decided
+stroke of his power. He lets the sun shine on the evil and the good. If
+some wretches expire in their crimes, it is by the general laws that
+govern the world. I have read in a great book, by a Frenchman called
+Mézeray, that God caused our Henry V. to suffer a painful death, because
+he dared to sit on the throne of a Christian king.
+
+The physical part of a bad action is the effect of the primary laws
+given to matter by the hand of God. All moral evil is the effect of the
+liberty which man abuses.
+
+In a word, without plunging into the fogs of metaphysics, let us
+remember that the existence of God is proved. We have no longer to argue
+on that point. Take God from the world, and does the assassination of
+Charles I. become more lawful? Do you feel less aversion toward his
+executioner? God exists. Enough. If he exists, he is just. Be, then,
+just also.
+
+BIRTON.--Your argument has strength and force, though it does not
+altogether exonerate God from being the author of physical and moral
+evil. I see your way of justifying him makes an impression on the
+assembly; but might it not be contrived that these laws should not
+involve such particular misfortunes? You have proved to me a powerful
+and eternal God, and I was almost on the point of believing. But I have
+some terrible objections to make. Come, John, courage; let us not be
+cast down.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+ON ATHEISM.
+
+
+Night closed in beautifully. The atmosphere presented a vault of
+transparent azure, spangled with golden stars. Such a spectacle always
+affects man, and inspires him with pleasant reveries. The worthy Parouba
+admired the heavens, like a German when he beholds St. Peter's at Rome,
+or the Opera at Naples, for the first time.
+
+"What a boldly arched vault," said he to Freind.
+
+"It is no arch at all," replied Freind. "The blue dome you behold is
+nothing more than a collection of vapors, which God has so disposed and
+combined with the mechanism of your eyes, that, wherever you may be, you
+are still in the centre of your promenade, and perceive what is called
+heaven, arched above your head."
+
+"And those stars, Mr. Freind?"
+
+"As I have already said, they are so many suns, round which other worlds
+revolve. Far from being attached to that blue vault, remember that they
+are at various and prodigious distances from us. That star is twelve
+hundred millions of miles from our sun."
+
+Then, showing him the telescope he had brought, he pointed out to him
+the planets;--Jupiter, with his four moons; Saturn, with his five moons
+and mysterious ring.
+
+"It is the same light," said he, "which proceeds from all these
+luminaries, and comes to us from this planet, in a quarter of an hour,
+and from that star, in six months."
+
+Parouba was deeply impressed, and said: "The heavens proclaim a God."
+All the crew looked on with admiration. But the pertinacious Birton,
+unmoved, continued as follows:
+
+BIRTON.--Be it so! There is a God, I grant it. But what is that to you
+and me? What connection is there between the superior Being and worms of
+the earth? What relation is there between his essence and ours?
+Epicurus, when he supposed a God in the planets, did well to conclude
+that he took no part in our horrors and follies; that we could neither
+please nor offend him; that he had no need of us; nor we of him. You
+admit a God, more worthy of the human mind than the God of Epicurus, or
+the gods of the east and west: but if you assert, with so many others,
+that God made the world and man for his own glory; that he formerly
+required sacrifices of oxen for his glory; that he appeared for his
+glory in our biped form, you would, I think, be asserting an absurdity.
+The love of glory is nothing but pride. A proud man is a conceited
+fellow, such as Shakespeare would introduce in his plays. This epithet
+cannot suit God--it does not agree with the divine nature--any more than
+injustice, cruelty or inconstancy. If God condescended to regulate the
+universe, it could only be to make others happy. Has he done so?
+
+FREIND.--He has doubtless succeeded with all just spirits. They will be
+happy one day; if they are not so now.
+
+BIRTON.--Happy! How? When? Who told you so?
+
+FREIND.--His justice.
+
+BIRTON.--Will you tell me that we shall live eternally--that we have
+immortal souls, after admitting that the Jews, whom you boast of having
+succeeded, did not entertain this notion of immortality up to the time
+of Herod? This idea of an immortal soul was invented by the Brahmins,
+adopted by the Persians, Chaldeans, and Greeks, and was for a long time
+unknown to the insignificant and superstitious Jewish tribes. Alas! sir,
+how do we know that we have souls? or how do we know but other animals,
+who have similar passions, wills, appetites, and memories, so
+incomprehensible to us, have not souls as well?
+
+Hitherto I have thought that there is in nature a power by which we have
+the faculty of life in all our body,--walking with our feet,--taking
+with our hands,--seeing with our eyes, feeling with our nerves,
+thinking with our brain,--and that all this is called the soul, which is
+merely a vague word, signifying the unknown principle of our faculties.
+With you, I will call God the intelligent principle animating nature;
+but has he condescended to reveal himself to us?
+
+FREIND. Yes, by his works.
+
+BIRTON.--Has he revealed his laws, or spoken to us?
+
+FREIND.--Yes, by the voice of conscience. Is it true, that, if you
+killed your Father and mother, your conscience would be a prey to a
+remorse as terrible as it would be involuntary? Is not this truth avowed
+and felt throughout the world? To come down to lesser crimes,--do they
+not all revolt us at the first glance,--make us turn pale when we commit
+them for the first time,--and leave in our hearts the stings of
+repentance?
+
+BIRTON.--I must confess it.
+
+FREIND.--God, in thus speaking to your heart, has commanded you to
+abstain from crime. As for equivocal actions, which some condemn and
+others approve, what can we do better than follow the grand rule of
+Zoroaster,--"When you are not sure whether the action you are about to
+commit is good or bad, abstain from it."
+
+BIRTON.--An admirable maxim, and doubtless the most beautiful ever
+advanced in morals. I admit that, from time to time, God has raised up
+men to teach virtue to their degraded fellows. I apologize to you for
+speaking lightly of virtue.
+
+FREIND.--Rather apologize to the Supreme Being, who can reward and
+punish eternally.
+
+BIRTON.--What! will God punish me for yielding to passions he has given
+me?
+
+FREIND.--He has given you passions, with which you can do both good and
+evil. I do not tell you he will punish eternally; nor how he will
+punish; for no one can know that. The Brahmins were the first to
+conceive a place of imprisonment for those who had revolted from God;
+they were shut up in a description of hell, called Onderah, but were
+gradually liberated at various periods. Hence we have our mixture of
+virtues, vices, pleasures, and calamities. This conceit is
+ingenious;--and that of Pandora and Prometheus more so. Less polished
+nations have vulgurly imitated the same fable. These inventions are the
+fancies of Eastern philosophy. All I can say is, that if by abusing
+your liberty you have done evil, you cannot say God will not punish you.
+
+BIRTON.--I have tried to convince myself that he could not; but in vain.
+I confess I have abused my liberty, and that God may well punish me. But
+I cannot be punished when I have ceased to exist.
+
+FREIND.--The best course is to do well, while you exist.
+
+BIRTON.--To do well! Well, I confess I think you are right. It is the
+best course.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I wish, my dear friend, you had witnessed the effect of Freind's
+discourse on both the English and Americans. The light saucy Birton
+became thoughtful and modest. John fell at his father's feet, with tears
+in his eyes, and his father embraced him. I shall now proceed to relate
+the last scene of this interesting disputation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+BIRTON.--I conceive that the great master of the universe is eternal;
+but we, who are but of yesterday, may we presume to expect immortality?
+All beings around us perish, from the insect devoured by the swallow, to
+the elephant, eaten by worms.
+
+FREIND.--Nothing perishes; but all things change. The genus of animals
+and vegetables subsist, develop, and multiply. Why can you not allow
+that God might preserve the principle which makes us act and think, of
+whatever nature it may be? God preserve me from making a system; but
+certainly there is in us something that wills and thinks. This
+something, formerly called a monad, is imperceptible. God has given it
+us, or, rather, God has given us to it. Are you sure he cannot preserve
+it in being? Can you give me any proof?
+
+BIRTON.--No! I have sought for a proof in all the atheistical books
+within my reach; and especially in the third _Book of Lucrece_; but I
+never found any thing but conjectures.
+
+FREIND.--And shall we on simple conjecture give ourselves up to fatal
+passions, and live like brutes, with no other restraint upon us than the
+fear of men, rendered eternally cruel to each other by their mutual
+dread? For we always wish to destroy what we fear. Think, sir! think
+seriously, my son John. To expect neither reward nor punishment is the
+true spirit of atheism. What is the use of a God who has no power over
+you? As though one should say, "There is a very powerful king in
+China," I reply, "Success to him, let him keep in his territory,--I, in
+mine. I care no more for him than he cares for me. He has no more
+control over me than a canon of Windsor over a member of parliament."
+Then should I be a God to myself,--Sacrificing the whole world to my
+caprice? And, recognizing no law, I should only consider myself? If
+others are sheep, I should become the wolf. If they choose to play the
+chicken, I should play the fox.
+
+I will presume, (God forbid it), that all Englishmen are atheists. I
+will allow that there may be some peaceable citizens, quiet by nature,
+rich enough to be honest, regulated by honor, and so attentive to
+demeanor, that they contrive to live together in society. They cultivate
+the arts which improve morals; they live at peace in the innocent gaiety
+of honest people. But the poor and needy atheist, sure of impunity,
+would be a fool if he did not assassinate or steal to get money. Then
+would all the bonds of society be sundered. All secret crimes would
+inundate the world, and, like locusts, though at first imperceptible,
+would overspread the earth. The common people would become hordes of
+thieves, like those of our day, of whom not a tenth part are hung at our
+sessions. They would pass their wretched lives in taverns, with bad
+women. They would fight together, and fall down drunk amidst the pewter
+pots with which they break each other's heads. Nor would they rise but
+to steal and murder again,---to recommence the same round of hideous
+brutality. Who, then, would restrain great kings in their fury? An
+atheist king is more dangerous than a fanatical Ravaillac.
+
+Atheism abounded in Italy during the fifteenth century. What was the
+consequence? It was as common a matter to poison another, as to invite
+him to supper. The stroke of the stiletto was as frequent as an embrace.
+There were then professors of crime; as we now have professors of music
+and mathematics. Churches, even, were the favorite scenes of murder, and
+princes were slain at the altar. In this way, Pope Sextus IV. and
+archbishop of Pisa put to death two of the most accomplished princes of
+Europe. Explain, my dear friend, to Parouba and his children, what I
+mean by a pope and an archbishop; but tell them we have no such monsters
+now. But to resume: A Duke of Milan was also slain in a church. Every
+one knows the astonishing horrors of Alexander VI. Had such morals
+continued, Italy would have been more desolate than Peru after the
+invasion.
+
+Faith, then, in a God who rewards good actions, punishes the bad, and
+forgives lesser faults, is most useful to mankind. It is the only
+restraint on powerful men, who insolently commit crimes on the public,
+and on others who skillfully perpetrate offences. I do not tell you to
+mingle, with this necessary faith, superstitious notions that disgrace
+it. Atheism is a monster that would prey on mankind only to satisfy its
+voracity. Superstition is another phantom, preying upon men as a deity.
+I have often observed that an atheist may be cured; but we rarely cure
+superstition radically. The atheist is generally an inquiring man, who
+is deceived; the superstitious man is a brutal fool, having no ideas of
+his own. An atheist might assault Ephigenia when on the point of
+marrying Achilles; but a fanatic would piously sacrifice her on the
+altar, and think he did service to Jupiter. An atheist would steal a
+golden vessel from the altar to feast his favorites, but the fanatic
+would celebrate an _auto-da-fe_ in the same church, and sing hymns while
+he was causing Jews to be burned alive. Yes, my friends, superstition
+and atheism are the two poles of a universe in confusion. Tread these
+paths with a firm step; believe in a good God, and _be_ good. This is
+all that the great philosophers, Penn and Locke, require of their
+people.
+
+Answer me, Mr. Birton,--and you, my friends,--what harm can the worship
+of God, joined to the happiness of a virtuous life, do you? We might be
+seized with mortal sickness, even now while I am speaking; who, then,
+would not wish to have lived innocently? Read, in Shakespeare, the death
+of our wicked Richard III., and see how the ghosts of those he had
+murdered haunted his imagination. Witness the death of Charles IX. after
+the horrors of St. Bartholomew. In vain his chaplain assured him he had
+done well. His blood started from every pore; all the blood he had shed
+cried out against him! Believe me, all these monsters were tortured by
+remorse, and died in despair.
+
+Birton and his friends could contain themselves no longer. They fell at
+Freind's feet, "Yes," said Birton, "I believe in God, and I believe
+you."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+RETURN TO ENGLAND--JOHN'S MARRIAGE.
+
+
+We were already near Parouba's house; and we supped there. John could
+eat nothing. He sat apart in tears. His father went to console him.
+
+"Ah!" said John, "I do not deserve such a father. I shall die of shame
+for yielding to the fascination of that wicked Clive-Hart. I am the
+cause of Miss Primerose's death; just now, when you talked of poison, I
+shuddered; for I thought I saw Clive-Hart presenting the horrible
+draught to Primerose. How could I have so far lost myself as to
+accompany so vile a creature? I was blind. I did not discover my error
+till she was taken by the savages. In a fit of rage she almost admitted
+her guilt. From that moment, I have loathed her; and, for a punishment,
+the form of Primerose is ever before me, and seems to say, 'I died
+because I loved you.'" His father said a blameless life could alone
+repair his past errors.
+
+The next day we sailed for England, after giving presents to the
+Paroubas. Tears mingled with our adieus; and Birton, who had been only
+giddy, already seemed a reasonable person.
+
+When we were out at sea, Freind said to John, in my presence: "Do you
+still cherish the memory of the amiable Primerose?" These words so wrung
+the heart of the young man, that I feared he would throw himself into
+the sea.
+
+"Console yourself, then," said Freind. "Miss Primerose is alive, and
+loves you still."
+
+Freind had received certain information on this subject from his
+servant, who had written to him punctually by every ship. Mr. Mead, who
+has since acquired so great a reputation by his skill in the
+counteraction of poisons, had saved the young lady's life. In a moment,
+John passed from despair to extreme joy. I will not attempt to describe
+the change. It was the happiest moment of his life. Birton and his
+friends shared his joy. What more shall I say? The worthy Freind was as
+a father to all. The wedding was celebrated at Dr. Mead's. Birton, now
+another man, also married; and he and John are now among the best people
+in England.
+
+Admit, that a wise man can instruct fools.
+
+[Illustration: Epictetus, the slave. From a painting by Giuseppe
+Rossi.--Marcus Aurelius, on the throne of Europe and two parts of our
+hemisphere, did not think otherwise than the slave Epictetus.]
+
+[Illustration: Grand entrance to palace. (From Layard's Discoveries
+among the ruins of Nineveh and Babylon.)]
+
+
+
+
+PRINCESS OF BABYLON
+
+[Illustration: The Phœnix][1]
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+ROYAL CONTEST FOR THE HAND OF FORMOSANTA.
+
+
+The aged Belus, king of Babylon, thought himself the first man upon
+earth; for all his courtiers told him so, and his historians proved it.
+We know that his palace and his park, situated at a few parafangs from
+Babylon, extended between the Euphrates and the Tigris, which washed
+those enchanted banks. His vast house, three thousand feet in front,
+almost reached the clouds. The platform was surrounded with a balustrade
+of white marble, fifty feet high, which supported colossal statues of
+all the kings and great men of the empire. This platform, composed of
+two rows of bricks, covered with a thick surface of lead from one
+extremity to the other, bore twelve feet of earth; and upon the earth
+were raised groves of olive, orange, citron, palm, cocoa, and cinnamon
+trees, and stock gillyflowers, which formed alleys that the rays of the
+sun could not penetrate.
+
+The waters of the Euphrates running, by the assistance of pumps, in a
+hundred canals, formed cascades of six thousand feet in length in the
+park, and a hundred thousand _jets d'eau_, whose height was scarce
+perceptible. They afterward flowed into the Euphrates, from whence they
+came. The gardens of Semiramis, which astonished Asia several ages
+after, were only a feeble imitation of these ancient prodigies, for in
+the time of Semiramis, every thing began to degenerate amongst men and
+women.
+
+But what was more admirable in Babylon, and eclipsed every thing else,
+was the only daughter of the king, named Formosanta. It was from her
+pictures and statues, that in succeeding times Praxiteles sculptured his
+Aphrodita, and the Venus of Medicis. Heavens! what a difference between
+the original and the copies! so that king Belus was prouder of his
+daughter than of his kingdom. She was eighteen years old. It was
+necessary she should have a husband worthy of her; but where was he to
+be found? An ancient oracle had ordained, that Formosanta could not
+belong to any but him who could bend the bow of Nimrod.
+
+This Nimrod, "a mighty hunter before the Lord," (_Gen. x:9_), had left a
+bow seventeen Babylonian feet in length, made of ebony, harder than the
+iron of mount Caucasus, which is wrought in the forges of Derbent; and
+no mortal since Nimrod could bend this astonishing bow.
+
+It was again said, "that the arm which should bend this bow would kill
+the most terrible and ferocious lion that should be let loose in the
+Circus of Babylon." This was not all. The bender of the bow, and the
+conquerer of the lion, should overthow all his rivals; but he was above
+all things to be very sagacious, the most magnificent and most virtuous
+of men, and possess the greatest curiosity in the whole universe.
+
+Three kings appeared, who were bold enough to claim Formosanta. Pharaoh
+of Egypt, the Shah of India, and the great Khan of the Scythians. Belus
+appointed the day and place of combat, which was to be at the extremity
+of his park, in the vast expanse surrounded by the joint waters of the
+Euphrates and the Tigris. Round the lists a marble amphitheatre was
+erected, which might contain five hundred thousand spectators. Opposite
+the amphitheatre was placed the king's throne. He was to appear with
+Formosanta, accompanied by the whole court; and on the right and left
+between the throne and the amphitheatre, there were other thrones and
+seats for the three kings, and for all the other sovereigns who were
+desirous to be present at this august ceremony.
+
+The king of Egypt arrived the first, mounted upon the bull Apis, and
+holding in his hand the cithern of Isis. He was followed by two thousand
+priests, clad in linen vestments whiter than snow, two thousand eunuchs,
+two thousand magicians, and two thousand warriors.
+
+The king of India came soon after in a car drawn by twelve elephants. He
+had a train still more numerous and more brilliant than Pharaoh of
+Egypt.
+
+The last who appeared was the king of the Scythians. He had none with
+him but chosen warriors, armed with bows and arrows. He was mounted upon
+a superb tiger, which he had tamed, and which was as tall as any of the
+finest Persian horses. The majestic and important mien of this king
+effaced the appearance of his rivals; his naked arms, as nervous as they
+were white, seemed already to bend the bow of Nimrod.
+
+These three lovers immediately prostrated themselves before Belus and
+Formosanta. The king of Egypt presented the princess with two of the
+finest crocodiles of the Nile, two sea horses, two zebras, two Egyptian
+rats, and two mummies, with the books of the great Hermes, which he
+judged to be the scarcest things upon earth.
+
+The king of India offered her a hundred elephants, each bearing a wooden
+gilt tower, and laid at her feet the _vedam_, written by the hand of
+Xaca himself.
+
+The king of the Scythians, who could neither write nor read, presented a
+hundred warlike horses with black fox skin housings.
+
+The princess appeared with a downcast look before her lovers, and
+reclined herself with such a grace as was at once modest and noble.
+
+Belus ordered the kings to be conducted to the thrones that were
+prepared for them. "Would I had three daughters," said he to them, "I
+should make six people this day happy!" He then made the competitors
+cast lots which should try Nimrod's bow first. Their names inscribed
+were put into a golden casque. That of the Egyptian king came out first,
+then the name of the King of India appeared. The king of Scythia,
+viewing the bow and his rivals, did not complain at being the third.
+
+Whilst these brilliant trials were preparing, twenty thousand pages and
+twenty thousand youthful maidens distributed, without any disorder,
+refreshments to the spectators between the rows of seats. Every one
+acknowledged that the gods had instituted kings for no other cause than
+every day to give festivals, upon condition they should be
+diversified--that life is too short for any other purpose--that
+lawsuits, intrigues, wars, the altercations of theologists, which
+consume human life, are horrible and absurd--that man is born only for
+happiness that he would not passionately and incessantly pursue
+pleasure, were he not designed for it--that the essence of human nature
+is to enjoy ourselves, and all the rest is folly. This excellent moral
+was never controverted but by facts.
+
+Whilst preparations were making for determining the fate of Formosanta,
+a young stranger, mounted upon an unicorn, accompanied by his valet,
+mounted on a like animal, and bearing upon his hand a large bird,
+appeared at the barrier. The guards were surprised to observe in this
+equipage, a figure that had an air of divinity. He had, as hath been
+since related, the face of Adonis upon the body of Hercules; it was
+majesty accompanied by the graces. His black eye-brows and flowing fair
+tresses, wore a mixture of beauty unknown at Babylon, and charmed all
+observers. The whole amphitheatre rose up, the better to view the
+stranger. All the ladies of the court viewed him with looks of
+astonishment. Formosanta herself, who had hitherto kept her eyes fixed
+upon the ground, raised them and blushed. The three kings turned pale.
+The spectators, in comparing Formosanta with the stranger, cried out,
+"There is no other in the world, but this young man, who can be so
+handsome as the princess."
+
+The ushers, struck with astonishment, asked him if he was a king? The
+stranger replied, that he had not that honor, but that he had come from
+a distant country, excited by curiosity, to see if there were any king
+worthy of Formosanta. He was introduced into the first row of the
+amphitheatre, with his valet, his two unicorns, and his bird. He
+saluted, with great respect, Belus, his daughter, the three kings, and
+all the assembly. He then took his seat, not without blushing. His two
+unicorns lay down at his feet; his bird perched upon his shoulder; and
+his valet, who carried a little bag, placed himself by his side.
+
+The trials began. The bow of Nimrod was taken out of its golden case.
+The first master of the ceremonies, followed by fifty pages, and
+preceded by twenty trumpets, presented it to the king of Egypt, who made
+his priests bless it; and supporting it upon the head of the bull Apis,
+he did not question his gaining this first victory. He dismounted, and
+came into the middle of the circus. He tries, exerts all his strength,
+and makes such ridiculous contortions, that the whole amphitheatre
+re-echoes with laughter, and Formosanta herself could not help smiling.
+
+His high almoner approached him:
+
+"Let your majesty give up this idle honor, which depends entirely upon
+the nerves and muscles. You will triumph in every thing else. You will
+conquer the lion, as you are possessed of the favor of Osiris. The
+Princess of Babylon is to belong to the prince who is most sagacious,
+and you have solved enigmas. She is to wed the most virtuous: you are
+such, as you have been educated by the priests of Egypt. The most
+generous is to marry her, and you have presented her with two of the
+handsomest crocodiles, and two of the finest rats in all the Delta. You
+are possessed of the bull Apis, and the books of Hermes, which are the
+scarcest things in the universe. No one can hope to dispute Formosanta
+with you."
+
+"You are in the right," said the King of Egypt, and resumed his throne.
+
+The bow was then put in the hands of the king of India. It blistered his
+hands for a fortnight; but he consoled himself in presuming that the
+Scythian King would not be more fortunate than himself.
+
+The Scythian handled the bow in his turn. He united skill with strength.
+The bow seemed to have some elasticity in his hands. He bent it a
+little, but he could not bring it near a curve. The spectators, who had
+been prejudiced in his favor by his agreeable aspect, lamented his ill
+success, and concluded that the beautiful princess would never be
+married.
+
+The unknown youth leaped into the arena and addressing himself to the
+king of Scythia said:
+
+"Your majesty need not be surprised at not having entirely succeeded.
+These ebony bows are made in my country. There is a peculiar method in
+using them. Your merit is greater in having bent it, than if I were to
+curve it."
+
+He then took an arrow and placing it upon the string, bent the bow of
+Nimrod, and shot the arrow beyond the gates. A million hands at once
+applauded the prodigy. Babylon re-echoed with acclamations; and all the
+ladies agreed it was fortunate for so handsome a youth to be so strong.
+
+He then took out of his pocket a small ivory tablet, wrote upon it with
+a golden pencil, fixed the tablet to the bow, and then presented it to
+the princess with such a grace as charmed every spectator. He then
+modestly returned to his place between his bird and his valet. All
+Babylon was in astonishment; the three kings were confounded, whilst the
+stranger did not seem to pay the least attention to what had happened.
+
+Formosanta was still more surprised to read upon the ivory tablet, tied
+to the bow, these lines, written in the best Chaldean:
+
+     L'arc de Nembrod est celui de la guerre;
+     L'arc de l'amour est celui du bonheur;
+     Vous le portez. Par vous ce Dieu vainqueur
+     Est devenu le maitre de la terre.
+     Trois Rois puissants, trois rivaux aujourd'hui,
+     Osent pretendre a l'honneur de vous plaire.
+     Je ne sais pas qui votre cœur prefere,
+     Mais l'univers sera jaloux de lui.
+
+    [The bow of Nimrod is that of war;
+     The bow of love is that of happiness
+     Which you possess. Through you this conquering God
+     Has become master of the earth.
+     Three powerful kings,--three rivals now,
+     Dare aspire to the honor of pleasing you.
+     I know not whom your heart may prefer,
+     But the universe will be jealous of him.]
+
+This little madrigal did not displease the princess; but it was
+criticised by some of the lords of the ancient court, who said that, in
+former times, Belus would have been compared to the sun, and Formosanta
+to the moon; his neck to a tower, and her breast to a bushel of wheat.
+They said the stranger had no sort of imagination, and that he had lost
+sight of the rules of true poetry, but all the ladies thought the verses
+very gallant. They were astonished that a man who handled a bow so well
+should have so much wit. The lady of honor to the princess said to her:
+
+"Madam, what great talents are here entirely lost? What benefit will
+this young man derive from his wit, and his skill with Nimrod's bow?"
+
+"Being admired!" said Formosanta.
+
+"Ah!" said the lady, "one more madrigal, and he might well be beloved."
+
+The king of Babylon, having consulted his sages, declared that though
+none of these kings could bend the bow of Nimrod, yet, nevertheless, his
+daughter was to be married, and that she should belong to him who could
+conquer the great lion, which was purposely kept in training in his
+great menagerie.
+
+The king of Egypt, upon whose education all the wisdom of Egypt had been
+exhausted, judged it very ridiculous to expose a king to the ferocity of
+wild beasts in order to be married. He acknowledged that he considered
+the possession of Formosanta of inestimable value; but he believed that
+if the lion should strangle him, he could never wed this fair
+Babylonian. The king of India held similar views to the king of Egypt.
+They both concluded that the king of Babylon was laughing at them, and
+that they should send for armies to punish him--that they had many
+subjects who would think themselves highly honored to die in the service
+of their masters, without it costing them a single hair of their sacred
+heads,--that they could easily dethrone the king of Babylon, and then
+they would draw lots for the fair Formosanta.
+
+This agreement being made, the two kings sent each an express into his
+respective country, with orders to assemble three hundred thousand men
+to carry off Formosanta.
+
+However, the king of Scythia descended alone into the arena, scimitar in
+hand. He was not distractedly enamored with Formosanta's charms. Glory
+till then had been his only passion, and it had led him to Babylon. He
+was willing to show that if the kings of India and Egypt were so prudent
+as not to tilt with lions, he was courageous enough not to decline the
+combat, and he would repair the honor of diadems. His uncommon valor
+would not even allow him to avail himself of the assistance of his
+tiger. He advanced singly, slightly armed with a shell casque ornamented
+with gold, and shaded with three horses' tails as white as snow.
+
+One of the most enormous and ferocious lions that fed upon the
+Antilibanian mountains was let loose upon him. His tremendous paws
+appeared capable of tearing the three kings to pieces at once, and his
+gullet to devour them. The two proud champions fled with the utmost
+precipitancy and in the most rapid manner to each other. The courageous
+Scythian plunged his sword into the lion's mouth; but the point meeting
+with one of those thick teeth that nothing can penetrate, was broken;
+and the monster of the woods, more furious from his wound, had already
+impressed his fearful claws into the monarch's sides.
+
+The unknown youth, touched with the peril of so brave a prince, leaped
+into the arena swift as lightning, and cut off the lion's head with as
+much dexterity as we have lately seen, in our carousals, youthful
+knights knock off the heads of black images.
+
+Then drawing out a small box, he presented it to the Scythian king,
+saying to him.
+
+"Your majesty will here find the genuine dittany, which grows in my
+country. Your glorious wounds will be healed in a moment. Accident alone
+prevented your triumph over the lion. Your valor is not the less to be
+admired."
+
+The Scythian king, animated more with gratitude than jealousy, thanked
+his benefactor; and, after having tenderly embraced him, returned to his
+seat to apply the dittany to his wounds.
+
+The stranger gave the lion's head to his valet, who, having washed it at
+the great fountain which was beneath the amphitheatre, and drained all
+the blood, took an iron instrument out of his little bag, with which
+having drawn the lion's forty teeth, he supplied their place with forty
+diamonds of equal size.
+
+His master, with his usual modesty, returned to his place; he gave the
+lion's head to his bird:--"Beauteous bird," said he, "carry this small
+homage, and lay it at the feet of Formosanta."
+
+[Illustration: "The unknown youth, touched with the peril of so brave a
+prince, leaped into the arena swift as lightning, and cut off the lion's
+head."]
+
+The bird winged its way with the dreadful triumph in one of its talons,
+and presented it to the princess; bending with humility his neck, and
+crouching before her. The sparkling diamonds dazzled the eyes of every
+beholder. Such magnificence was unknown even in superb Babylon. The
+emerald, the topaz, the sapphire, and the pyrope, were as yet considered
+as the most precious ornaments. Belus and the whole court were struck
+with admiration. The bird which presented this present surprised them
+still more. It was of the size of an eagle, but its eyes were as soft
+and tender as those of the eagle are fierce and threatening. Its bill
+was rose color, and seemed somewhat to resemble Formosanta's handsome
+mouth. Its neck represented all the colors of Iris, but still more
+striking and brilliant. Gold, in a thousand shades, glittered upon its
+plumage. Its feet resembled a mixture of silver and purple. And the
+tails of those beautiful birds, which have since drawn Juno's car, did
+not equal the splendor of this incomparable bird.
+
+The attention, curiosity, astonishment, and ecstasy of the whole court
+were divided between the jewels and the bird. It had perched upon the
+balustrade between Belus and his daughter Formosanta. She petted it,
+caressed it, and kissed it. It seemed to receive her attentions with a
+mixture of pleasure and respect. When the princess gave the bird a kiss,
+it returned the embrace, and then looked upon her with languishing eyes.
+She gave it biscuits and pistachios, which it received in its
+purple-silvered claw, and carried to its bill with inexpressible grace.
+
+Belus, who had attentively considered the diamonds, concluded that
+scarce any one of his provinces could repay so valuable a present. He
+ordered that more magnificent gifts should be prepared for the stranger
+than those destined for the three monarchs, "This young man," said he,
+"is doubtless son to the emperor of China; or of that part of the world
+called Europe, which I have heard spoken of; or of Africa, which is said
+to be in the vicinity of the kingdom of Egypt."
+
+He immediately sent his first equerry to compliment the stranger, and
+ask him whether he was himself the sovereign, or son to the sovereign of
+one of those empires; and why, being possessed of such surprising
+treasures, he had come with nothing but his valet and a little bag?
+
+Whilst the equerry advanced toward the amphitheatre to execute his
+commission, another valet arrived upon an unicorn. This valet,
+addressing himself to the young man, said. "Ormar, your father is
+approaching the end of his life: I am come to acquaint you with it."
+
+The stranger raised his eyes to heaven, whilst tears streamed from them,
+and answered only by saying, "_Let us depart_."
+
+The equerry, after having paid Belus's compliments to the conqueror of
+the lion, to the giver of the forty diamonds, and to the master of the
+beautiful bird, asked the valet, "Of what kingdom was the father of this
+young hero sovereign?"
+
+The valet replied:
+
+"His father is an old shepherd, who is much beloved in his district."
+
+During this conversation, the stranger had already mounted his unicorn.
+He said to the equerry:
+
+"My lord, vouchsafe to prostrate me at the feet of King Belus and his
+daughter. I must entreat her to take particular care of the bird I leave
+with her, as it is a nonpareil like herself."
+
+In uttering these last words he set off, and flew like lightning. The
+two valets followed him, and in an instant he was out of sight.
+
+Formosanta could not refrain from shrieking. The bird, turning toward
+the amphitheatre where his master had been seated, seemed greatly
+afflicted to find him gone; then viewing steadfastly the princess, and
+gently rubbing her beautiful hand with his bill, he seemed to devote
+himself to her service.
+
+Belus, more astonished than ever, hearing that this very extraordinary
+young man was the son of a shepherd, could not believe it. He dispatched
+messengers after him; but they soon returned with the information, that
+the three unicorns, upon which these men were mounted, could not be
+overtaken; and that, according to the rate they went, they must go a
+hundred leagues a day.
+
+Every one reasoned upon this strange adventure, and wearied themselves
+with conjectures. How can the son of a shepherd make a present of forty
+large diamonds? How comes it that he is mounted upon an unicorn? This
+bewildered them, and Formosanta, whilst she caressed her bird, was sunk
+into a profound reverie.
+
+
+[1] The phœix--born of myth and fable--was supposed to have originated
+in Arabia. In size it resembled an eagle, and was said to exist singly.
+At the end of six hundred years, it built for itself a nest filled with
+myrrh and the choicest spices. This was ignited by the ardent rays of
+the sun, and in it the phœnix was consumed in flames of fragrance. It
+was believed, however, that it soon rose again, from its own ashes, in
+renewed youth, strength, and beauty; and therefore it was considered by
+the ancients as symbolical of "the resurrection" and also of
+immortality.--E.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+THE KING OF BABYLON CONVENES HIS COUNCIL, AND CONSULTS THE ORACLE.
+
+
+Princess Aldea, Formosanta's cousin-german, who was very well shaped,
+and almost as handsome as the King's daughter, said to her:
+
+"Cousin, I know not whether this demi-god be the son of a shepherd, but
+methinks he has fulfilled all the conditions stipulated for your
+marriage. He has bent Nimrod's bow; he has conquered the lion; he has a
+good share of sense, having written for you extempore a very pretty
+madrigal. After having presented you with forty large diamonds, you
+cannot deny that he is the most generous of men. In his bird he
+possessed the most curious thing upon earth. His virtue cannot be
+equaled, since he departed without hesitation as soon as he learned his
+father was ill, though he might have remained and enjoyed the pleasure
+of your society. The oracle is fulfilled in every particular, except
+that wherein he is to overcome his rivals. But he has done more; he has
+saved the life of the only competitor he had to fear; and when the
+object is to surpass the other two, I believe you cannot doubt but that
+he will easily succeed."
+
+"All that you say is very true," replied Formosanta: "but is it possible
+that the greatest of men, and perhaps the most amiable too, should be
+the son of a shepherd?"
+
+The lady of honor, joining in the conversation, said that the title of
+shepherd was frequently given to kings--that they were called shepherds
+because they attended very closely to their flocks--that this was
+doubtless a piece of ill-timed pleasantry in his valet--that this young
+hero had not come so badly equipped, but to show how much his personal
+merit alone was above the fastidious parade of kings. The princess made
+no answer, but in giving her bird a thousand tender kisses.
+
+A great festival was nevertheless prepared for the three kings, and for
+all the princes who had come to the feast. The king's daughter and niece
+were to do the honors. The king distributed presents worthy the
+magnificence of Babylon. Belus, during the time the repast was being
+served, assembled his council to discuss the marriage of the beautiful
+Formosanta, and this is the way he delivered himself as a great
+politician:
+
+"I am old: I know not what is best to do with my daughter, or upon whom
+to bestow her. He who deserves her is nothing but a mean shepherd. The
+kings of India and Egypt are cowards. The king of the Scythians would be
+very agreeable to me, but he has not performed any one of the conditions
+imposed. I will again consult the oracle. In the meantime, deliberate
+among you, and we will conclude agreeably to what the oracle says; for a
+king should follow nothing but the dictates of the immortal gods."
+
+He then repaired to the temple: the oracle answered in few words
+according to custom: _Thy daughter shall not be married until she hath
+traversed the globe_. In astonishment, Belus returned to the council,
+and related this answer.
+
+All the ministers had a profound respect for oracles. They therefore all
+agreed, or at least appeared to agree, that they were the foundation of
+religion--that reason should be mute before them--that it was by their
+means that kings reigned over their people--that without oracles there
+would be neither virtue nor repose upon earth.
+
+At length, after having testified the most profound veneration for them,
+they almost all concluded that this oracle was impertinent, and should
+not be obeyed--that nothing could be more indecent for a young woman,
+and particularly the daughter of the great king of Babylon, than to run
+about, without any particular destination--that this was the most
+certain method to prevent her being married, or else engage her in a
+clandestine, shameful, and ridiculous union that,--in a word, this
+oracle had not common sense.
+
+The youngest of the ministers, named Onadase, who had more sense than
+the rest, said that the oracle doubtless meant some pilgrimage of
+devotion, and offered to be the princess's guide. The council approved
+of his opinion, but every one was for being her equerry. The king
+determined that the princess might go three hundred parasangs upon the
+road to Arabia, to the temple whose saint had the reputation of
+procuring young women happy marriages, and that the dean of the council
+should accompany her. After this determination they went to supper.
+
+[Illustration: The Shrine at Bassora.--A devotee at the shrine imploring
+the felicity of a happy marriage.]
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+ROYAL FESTIVAL GIVEN IN HONOR OF THE KINGLY VISITORS. THE BIRD CONVERSES
+ELOQUENTLY WITH FORMOSANTA.
+
+
+In the centre of the gardens, between two cascades, an oval saloon,
+three hundred feet in diameter was erected, whose azure roof,
+intersected with golden stars, represented all the constellations and
+planets, each in its proper station; and this ceiling turned about, as
+well as the canopy, by machines as invisible as those which direct the
+celestial spheres. A hundred thousand flambeaux, inclosed in rich
+crystal cylinders, illuminated the gardens and the dining-hall. A
+buffet, with steps, contained twenty thousand vases and golden dishes;
+and opposite the buffet, upon other steps, were seated a great number of
+musicians. Two other amphitheatres were decked out; the one with the
+fruits of each season, the other with crystal decanters, that sparkled
+with the choicest wines.
+
+The guests took their seats round a table divided into compartments that
+resembled flowers and fruits, all in precious stones. The beautiful
+Formosanta was placed between the kings of India and Egypt--the amiable
+Aldea next the king of Scythia. There were about thirty princes, and
+each was seated next one of the handsomest ladies of the court. The king
+of Babylon, who was in the middle, opposite his daughter, seemed divided
+between the chagrin of being yet unable to effect her marriage, and the
+pleasure of still beholding her. Formosanta asked leave to place her
+bird upon the table next her; the king approved of it.
+
+The music, which continued during the repast, furnished every prince
+with an opportunity of conversing with his female neighbor. The festival
+was as agreeable as it was magnificent. A ragout was served before
+Formosanta, which her father was very fond of. The princess said it
+should be carried to his majesty. The bird immediately took hold of it,
+and carried it in a miraculous manner to the king. Never was any thing
+more astonishing witnessed. Belus caressed it as much as his daughter
+had done. The bird afterward took its flight to return to her. It
+displayed, in flying, so fine a tail, and its extended wings set forth
+such a variety of brilliant colors--the gold of its plumage made such a
+dazzling eclat, that all eyes were fixed upon it. All the musicians were
+struck motionless, and their instruments afforded harmony no longer.
+None ate, no one spoke, nothing but a buzzing of admiration was to be
+heard. The Princess of Babylon kissed it during the whole supper,
+without considering whether there were any kings in the world. Those of
+India and Egypt felt their spite and indignation rekindle with double
+force, and they resolved speedily to set their three hundred thousand
+men in motion to obtain revenge.
+
+As for the king of Scythia, he was engaged in entertaining the beautiful
+Aldea. His haughty soul despising, without malice, Formosanta's
+inattention, had conceived for her more indifference than resentment.
+"She is handsome," said he, "I acknowledge: but she appears to me one of
+those women who are entirely taken up with their own beauty, and who
+fancy that mankind are greatly obliged to them when they deign to appear
+in public. I should prefer an ugly complaisant woman, that exhibited
+some amiability, to that beautiful statue. You have, madam, as many
+charms as she possesses, and you, at least, condescend to converse with
+strangers. I acknowledge to you with the sincerity of a Scythian, that I
+prefer you to your cousin."
+
+He was, however, mistaken in regard to the character of Formosanta. She
+was not so disdainful as she appeared. But his compliments were very
+well received by the princess Aldea. Their conversation became very
+interesting. They were well contented, and already certain of one
+another before they left the table. After supper the guests walked in
+the groves. The king of Scythia and Aldea did not fail to seek for a
+place of retreat. Aldea, who was sincerity itself, thus declared herself
+to the prince:
+
+"I do not hate my cousin, though she be handsomer than myself, and is
+destined for the throne of Babylon. The honor of pleasing you may very
+well stand in the stead of charms. I prefer Scythia with you, to the
+crown of Babylon without you. But this crown belongs to me by right, if
+there be any right in the world; for I am of the elder branch of the
+Nimrod family, and Formosanta is only of the younger. Her grandfather
+dethroned mine, and put him to death."
+
+"Such, then, are the rights of inheritance in the royal house of
+Babylon!" said the Scythian. "What was your grandfather's name?"
+
+"He was called Aldea, like me. My father bore the same name. He was
+banished to the extremity of the empire with my mother; and Belus, after
+their death, having nothing to fear from me, was willing to bring me up
+with his daughter. But he has resolved that I shall never marry."
+
+"I will avenge the cause of your grandfather--of your father and also
+your own cause," said the king of Scythia. "I am responsible for your
+being married. I will carry you off the day after to-morrow by
+day-break--for we must dine to-morrow with the king of Babylon--and I
+will return and support your rights with three hundred thousand men."
+
+"I agree to it," said the beauteous Aldea: and, after having mutually
+pledged their words of honor, they separated.
+
+The incomparable Formosanta, before retiring to rest, had ordered a
+small orange tree, in a silver case, to be placed by the side of her
+bed, that her bird might perch upon it. Her curtains had long been
+drawn, but she was not in the least disposed to sleep. Her heart was
+agitated, and her imagination excited. The charming stranger was ever in
+her thoughts. She fancied she saw him shooting an arrow with Nimrod's
+bow. She contemplated him in the act of cutting off the lion's head. She
+repeated his madrigal. At length, she saw him retiring from the crowd
+upon his unicorn. Tears, sighs, and lamentations overwhelmed her at this
+reflection. At intervals, she cried out: "Shall I then never see him
+more? Will he never return?"
+
+"He will surely return," replied the bird from the top of the orange
+tree. "Can one have seen you once, and not desire to see you again?"
+
+"Heavens! eternal powers! my bird speaks the purest Chaldean." In
+uttering these words she drew back the curtain, put out her hand to him,
+and knelt upon her bed, saying:
+
+"Art thou a god descended upon earth? Art thou the great Oromasdes
+concealed under this beautiful plumage? If thou art, restore me this
+charming young man."
+
+"I am nothing but a winged animal," replied the bird; "but I was born at
+the time when all animals still spoke; when birds, serpents, asses,
+horses, and griffins, conversed familiarly with man. I would not speak
+before company, lest your ladies of honor should have taken me for a
+sorcerer. I would not discover myself to any but you."
+
+Formosanta was speechless, bewildered, and intoxicated with so many
+wonders. Desirous of putting a hundred questions to him at once, she at
+length asked him how old he was.
+
+"Only twenty-seven thousand nine hundred years and six months. I date my
+age from the little revolution of the equinoxes, and which is
+accomplished in about twenty-eight thousand of your years. There are
+revolutions of a much greater extent, so are there beings much older
+than me. It is twenty-two thousand years since I learnt Chaldean in one
+of my travels. I have always had a very great taste for the Chaldean
+language, but my brethren, the other animals, have renounced speaking in
+your climate."
+
+"And why so, my divine bird?"
+
+"Alas! because men have accustomed themselves to eat us, instead of
+conversing and instructing themselves with us. Barbarians! should they
+not have been convinced, that having the same organs with them, the same
+sentiments, the same wants, the same desires, we have also what is
+called a soul, the same as themselves;--that we are their brothers, and
+that none should be dressed and eaten but the wicked? We are so far your
+brothers, that the Supreme Being, the Omnipotent and Eternal Being,
+having made a compact with men, expressly comprehended us in the treaty.
+He forbade you to nourish yourselves with our blood, and we to suck
+yours.
+
+"The fables of your ancient Locman, translated into so many languages,
+will be a testimony eternally subsisting of the happy commerce you
+formerly carried on with us. They all begin with these words: 'In the
+time when beasts spoke.' It is true, there are many families among you
+who keep up an incessant conversation with their dogs; but the dogs have
+resolved not to answer, since they have been compelled by whipping to go
+a hunting, and become accomplices in the murder of our ancient and
+common friends, stags, deers, hares, and partridges.
+
+"You have still some ancient poems in which horses speak, and your
+coachmen daily address them in words; but in so barbarous a manner, and
+in uttering such infamous expressions, that horses, though formerly
+entertaining so great a kindness for you, now detest you.
+
+"The country which is the residence of your charming stranger, the most
+perfect of men, is the only one in which your species has continued to
+love ours, and to converse with us; and this is the only country in the
+world where men are just."
+
+"And where is the country of my dear incognito? What is the name of his
+empire? For I will no more believe he is a shepherd than that you are a
+bat."
+
+"His country, is that of the Gangarids, a wise, virtuous, and invincible
+people, who inhabit the eastern shore of the Ganges. The name of my
+friend is Amazan. He is no king; and I know not whether he would so
+humble himself as to be one. He has too great a love for his fellow
+countrymen. He is a shepherd like them. But do not imagine that those
+shepherds resemble yours; who, covered with rags and tatters, watch
+their sheep, who are better clad than themselves; who groan under the
+burden of poverty, and who pay to an extortioner half the miserable
+stipend of wages which they receive from their masters. The Gangaridian
+shepherds are all born equal, and own the innumerable herds which cover
+their vast fields and subsist on the abundant verdure. These flocks are
+never killed. It is a horrid crime, in that favored country, to kill and
+eat a fellow creature. Their wool is finer and more brilliant than the
+finest silk, and constitutes the greatest traffic of the East. Besides,
+the land of the Gangarids produces all that can flatter the desires of
+man. Those large diamonds that Amazan had the honor of presenting you
+with, are from a mine that belongs to him. An unicorn, on which you saw
+him mounted, is the usual animal the Gangarids ride upon. It is the
+finest, the proudest, most terrible, and at the same time most gentle
+animal that ornaments the earth. A hundred Gangarids, with as many
+unicorns,[1] would be sufficient to disperse innumerable armies. Two
+centuries ago, a king of India was mad enough to attempt to conquer
+this nation. He appeared, followed by ten thousand elephants and a
+million of warriors. The unicorns pierced the elephants, just as I have
+seen upon your table beads pierced in golden brochets. The warriors fell
+under the sabres of the Gangarids like crops of rice mowed by the people
+of the East. The king was taken prisoner, with upwards of six thousand
+men. He was bathed in the salutary water of the Ganges, and followed the
+regimen of the country, which consists only of vegetables, of which
+nature hath there been amazingly liberal to nourish every breathing
+creature. Men who are fed with carnivorous aliments, and drenched with
+spirituous liquors, have a sharp adust blood, which turns their brains a
+hundred different ways. Their chief rage is a fury to spill their
+brother's blood, and, laying waste fertile plains, to reign over
+church-yards. Six full months were taken up in curing the king of India
+of his disorder. When the physicians judged that his pulse had become
+natural, they certified this to the council of the Gangarids. The
+council then followed the advice of the unicorns and humanely sent back
+the king of India, his silly court, and impotent warriors, to their own
+country. This lesson made them wise, and from that time the Indians
+respected the Gangarids, as ignorant men, willing to be instructed,
+revere the philosophers they cannot equal.
+
+"Apropos, my dear bird," said the princess to him, "do the Gangarids
+profess any religion? have they one?"
+
+"Yes, we meet to return thanks to God on the days of the full moon; the
+men in a great temple made of cedar, and the women in another, to
+prevent their devotion being diverted. All the birds assemble in a
+grove, and the quadrupeds on a fine down. We thank God for all the
+benefits he has bestowed upon us. We have in particular some parrots
+_that preach wonderfully well_.
+
+"Such is the country of my dear Amazan; there I reside. My friendship
+for him is as great as the love with which he has inspired you. If you
+will credit me, we will set out together, and you shall pay him a
+visit."
+
+"Really, my dear bird, this is a very pretty invitation of yours,"
+replied the princess smiling, and who flamed with desire to undertake
+the journey, but did not dare say so.
+
+"I serve my friend," said the bird; "and, after the happiness of loving
+you, the greatest pleasure is to assist you."
+
+Formosanta was quite fascinated. She fancied herself transported from
+earth. All she had seen that day, all she then saw, all she heard, and
+particularly what she felt in her heart, so ravished her as far to
+surpass what those fortunate Mussulmen now feel, who, disencumbered from
+their terrestrial ties, find themselves in the ninth heaven in the arms
+of their Houris, surrounded and penetrated with glory and celestial
+felicity.
+
+
+[1] Pliny, the Roman naturalist, describes the unicorn as "a very
+ferocious beast, similar in the rest of its body to a horse, with the
+head of a deer, the feet of an elephant, the tail of a boar, a deep
+bellowing voice, and a single black horn, two cubits in length, standing
+out in the middle of its forehead." A familiar representation of this
+"ferocious beast" may be seen on the English coat of arms.--E.
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+THE BEAUTIFUL BIRD IS KILLED BY THE KING OF EGYPT. FORMOSANTA BEGINS A
+JOURNEY. ALDEA ELOPES WITH THE KING OF SCYTHIA.
+
+
+Formosanta passed the whole night in speaking of Amazan. She no longer
+called him any thing but her shepherd; and from this time it was that
+the names of shepherd and lover were indiscriminately used throughout
+every nation.
+
+Sometimes she asked the bird whether Amazan had had any other
+mistresses. It answered, "No," and she was at the summit of felicity.
+Sometimes she asked how he passed his life; and she, with transport,
+learned, that it was employed in doing good; in cultivating arts, in
+penetrating into the secrets of nature, and improving himself. She at
+times wanted to know if the soul of her lover was of the same nature as
+that of her bird; how it happened that it had lived twenty thousand
+years, when her lover was not above eighteen or nineteen. She put a
+hundred such questions, to which the bird replied with such discretion
+as excited her curiosity. At length sleep closed their eyes, and yielded
+up Formosanta to the sweet delusion of dreams sent by the gods, which
+sometimes surpass reality itself, and which all the philosophy of the
+Chaldeans can scarce explain.
+
+Formosanta did not awaken till very late. The day was far advanced when
+the king, her father, entered her chamber. The bird received his majesty
+with respectful politeness, went before him, fluttered his wings,
+stretched his neck, and then replaced himself upon his orange tree. The
+king seated himself upon his daughter's bed, whose dreams had made her
+still more beautiful. His large beard approached her lovely face, and
+after having embraced her, he spoke to her in these words:
+
+"My dear daughter, you could not yesterday find a husband agreeable to
+my wishes; you nevertheless must marry; the prosperity of my empire
+requires it. I have consulted the oracle, which you know never errs, and
+which directs all my conduct. His commands are, that you should traverse
+the globe. You must therefore begin your journey."
+
+"Ah! doubtless to the Gangarids," said the princess; and in uttering
+these words, which escaped her, she was sensible of her indiscretion.
+The king, who was utterly ignorant of geography, asked her what she
+meant by the Gangarids? She easily diverted the question. The king told
+her she must go on a pilgrimage, that he had appointed the persons who
+were to attend her--the dean of the counsellors of state, the high
+almoner, a lady of honor, a physician, an apothecary, her bird, and all
+necessary domestics.
+
+Formosanta, who had never been out of her father's palace, and who, till
+the arrival of the three kings and Amazan, had led a very insipid life,
+according to the _etiquette_ of rank and the parade of pleasure, was
+charmed at setting out upon a pilgrimage. "Who knows," said she,
+whispering to her heart, "if the gods may not inspire Amazan with the
+like desire of going to the same chapel, and I may have the happiness of
+again seeing the pilgrim?" She affectionately thanked her father, saying
+she had always entertained a secret devotion for the saint she was going
+to visit.
+
+Belus gave an excellent dinner to his guests, who were all men. They
+formed a very ill assorted company--kings, ministers, princes,
+pontiffs--all jealous of each other; all weighing their words, and
+equally embarassed with their neighbors and themselves. The repast was
+very gloomy, though they drank pretty freely. The princesses remained in
+their apartments, each meditating upon her respective journey. They
+dined at their little cover. Formosanta afterward walked in the gardens
+with her dear bird, which, to amuse her, flew from tree to tree,
+displaying his superb tail and divine plumage.
+
+The king of Egypt, who was heated with wine, not to say drunk, asked one
+of his pages for a bow and arrow. This prince was, in truth, the most
+unskillful archer in his whole kingdom. When he shot at a mark, the
+place of the greatest safety was generally the spot he aimed at. But the
+beautiful bird, flying as swiftly as the arrow, seemed to court it, and
+fell bleeding in the arms of Formosanta. The Egyptian, bursting into a
+foolish laugh, retired to his place. The princess rent the skies with
+her moans, melted into tears, tore her hair, and beat her breast. The
+dying bird said to her, in a low voice:
+
+"Burn me, and fail not to carry my ashes to the east of the ancient city
+of Aden or Eden, and expose them to the sun upon a little pile of cloves
+and cinnamon." After having uttered these words it expired. Formosanta
+was for a long time in a swoon, and revived again only to burst into
+sighs and groans. Her father, partaking of her grief, and imprecating
+the king of Egypt, did not doubt but this accident foretold some fatal
+event. He immediately went to consult the oracle, which replied: _A
+mixture of everything--life and death, infidelity and constancy, loss
+and gain, calamities and good fortune_. Neither he nor his council could
+comprehend any meaning in this reply; but, at length, he was satisfied
+with having fulfilled the duties of devotion.
+
+His daughter was bathed in tears, whilst he consulted the oracle. She
+paid the funeral obsequies to the bird, which it had directed, and
+resolved to carry its remains into Arabia at the risk of her life. It
+was burned in incombustible flax, with the orange-tree on which it used
+to perch. She gathered up the ashes in a little golden vase, set with
+rubies, and the diamonds taken from the lion's mouth. Oh! that she
+could, instead of fulfilling this melancholy duty, have burned alive the
+detestable king of Egypt! This was her sole wish. She, in spite, put to
+death the two crocodiles, his two sea horses, his two zebras, his two
+rats, and had his two mummies thrown into the Euphrates. Had she
+possessed his bull Apis, she would not have spared him.
+
+The king of Egypt, enraged at this affront, set out immediately to
+forward his three hundred thousand men. The king of India, seeing his
+ally depart, set off also on the same day, with a firm intention of
+joining his three hundred thousand Indians to the Egyptian army, the
+king of Scythia decamped in the night with the princess Aldea, fully
+resolved to fight for her at the head of three hundred thousand
+Scythians, and to restore to her the inheritance of Babylon, which was
+her right, as she had descended from the elder branch of the Nimrod
+family.
+
+As for the beautiful Formosanta, she set out at three in the morning
+with her caravan of pilgrims, flattering herself that she might go into
+Arabia, and execute the last will of her bird; and that the justice of
+the gods would restore her the dear Amazan, without whom life had become
+insupportable.
+
+When the king of Babylon awoke, he found all the company gone.
+
+"How mighty festivals terminate," said he; "and what a surprising vacuum
+they leave when the hurry is over."
+
+But he was transported with a rage truly royal, when he found that the
+princess Aldea had been carried off. He ordered all his ministers to be
+called up, and the council to be convened. Whilst they were dressing, he
+failed not to consult the oracle; but the only answer he could obtain
+was in these words, so celebrated since throughout the universe: _When
+girls are not provided for in marriage by their relatives, they marry
+themselves_.
+
+Orders were immediately issued to march three hundred thousand men
+against the king of Scythia. Thus was the torch of a most dreadful war
+lighted up, which was caused by the amusements of the finest festival
+ever given upon earth. Asia was upon the point of being over-run by four
+armies of three hundred thousand men each. It is plain that the war of
+Troy, which astonished the world some ages after, was mere child's play
+in comparison to this; but it should also be considered, that in the
+Trojans quarrel, the object was nothing more than a very immoral old
+woman, who had contrived to be twice run away with; whereas, in this
+case, the cause was tripartite--two girls and a bird.
+
+The king of India went to meet his army upon the large fine road which
+then led straight to Babylon, at Cachemir. The king of Scythia flew with
+Aldea by the fine road which led to Mount Imaus. Owing to bad
+government, all these fine roads have disappeared in the lapse of time.
+The king of Egypt had marched to the west, along the coast of the little
+Mediterranean sea, which the ignorant Hebrews have since called the
+Great Sea.
+
+[Illustration: Consulting the Oracle.]
+
+As to the charming Formosanta, she pursued the road to Bassora, planted
+with lofty palm trees, which furnished a perpetual shade, and fruit at
+all seasons. The temple in which she was to perform her devotions, was
+in Bassora itself. The saint to whom this temple had been dedicated, was
+somewhat in the style of him who was afterward adored at Lampsacus, and
+was generally successful in procuring husbands for young ladies. Indeed,
+he was the holiest saint in all Asia.
+
+Formosanta had no sort of inclination for the saint of Bassora. She only
+invoked her dear Gangaridian shepherd, her charming Amazan. She proposed
+embarking at Bassora, and landing in Arabia Felix, to perform what her
+deceased bird had commanded.
+
+At the third stage, scarce had she entered into a fine inn, where her
+harbingers had made all the necessary preparations for her, when she
+learned that the king of Egypt had arrived there also. Informed by his
+emissaries of the princess's route, he immediately altered his course,
+followed by a numerous escort. Having alighted, he placed sentinels at
+all the doors; then repaired to the beautiful Formosanta's apartment,
+when he addressed her by saying:
+
+"Miss, you are the lady I was in quest of. You paid me very little
+attention when I was at Babylon. It is just to punish scornful
+capricious women. You will, if you please, be kind enough to sup with me
+to-night; and I shall behave to you according as I am satisfied with
+you."
+
+Formosanta saw very well that she was not the strongest. She judged that
+good sense consisted in knowing how to conform to one's situation. She
+resolved to get rid of the king of Egypt by an innocent stratagem. She
+looked at him through the corners of her eyes, (which in after ages has
+been called ogling,) and then she spoke to him, with a modesty, grace,
+and sweetness, a confusion, and a thousand other charms, which would
+have made the wisest man a fool, and deceived the most discerning:
+
+"I acknowledge, sir, I always appeared with a downcast look, when you
+did the king, my father, the honor of visiting him. I had some
+apprehensions for my heart. I dreaded my too great simplicity. I
+trembled lest my father and your rivals should observe the preference I
+gave you, and which you so highly deserved. I can now declare my
+sentiments. I swear by the bull Apis, which after you is the thing I
+respect the most in the world, that your proposals have enchanted me. I
+have already supped with you at my father's, and I will sup with you
+again, without his being of the party. All that I request of you is,
+that your high almoner should drink with us. He appeared to me at
+Babylon to be an excellent guest. I have some Chiras wine remarkably
+good. I will make you both taste it. I consider you as the greatest of
+kings, and the most amiable of men."
+
+This discourse turned the king of Egypt's head. He agreed to have the
+almoner's company.
+
+"I have another favor to ask of you," said the princess, "which is to
+allow me to speak to my apothecary. Women have always some little ails
+that require attention, such as vapors in the head, palpitations of the
+heart, colics, and the like, which often require some assistance. In a
+word, I at present stand in need of my apothecary, and I hope you will
+not refuse me this slight testimony of confidence."
+
+"Miss," replied the king of Egypt, "I know life too well to refuse you
+so just a demand. I will order the apothecary to attend you whilst
+supper is preparing. I imagine you must be somewhat fatigued by the
+journey; you will also have occasion for a chambermaid; you may order
+her you like best to attend you. I will afterward wait your commands and
+convenience."
+
+He then retired, and the apothecary and the chambermaid, named Irla,
+entered. The princess had an entire confidence in her. She ordered her
+to bring six bottles of Chiras wine for supper, and to make all the
+sentinels, who had her officers under arrest, drink the same. Then she
+recommended her apothecary to infuse in all the bottles certain
+pharmaceutic drugs, which make those who take them sleep twenty-four
+hours, and with which he was always provided. She was implicitly obeyed.
+The king returned with his high almoner in about half an hour's time.
+The conversation at supper was very gay. The king and the priest emptied
+the six bottles, and acknowledged there was not such good wine in
+Egypt. The chambermaid was attentive to make the servants in waiting
+drink. As for the princess, she took great care not to drink any
+herself, saying that she was ordered by her physician a particular
+regimen. They were all presently asleep.
+
+The king of Egypt's almoner had one of the finest beards that a man of
+his rank could wear. Formosanta lopped it off very skillfully; then
+sewing it to a ribbon, she put it on her own chin. She then dressed
+herself in the priest's robes, and decked herself in all the marks of
+his dignity, and her waiting maid clad herself like the sacristan of the
+goddess Isis. At length, having furnished herself with his urn and
+jewels, she set out from the inn amidst the sentinels, who were asleep
+like their master. Her attendant had taken care to have two horses ready
+at the door. The princess could not take with her any of the officers of
+her train. They would have been stopped by the great guard.
+
+Formosanta and Irla passed through several ranks of soldiers, who,
+taking the princess for the high priest, called her, "My most Reverend
+Father in God," and asked his blessing. The two fugitives arrived in
+twenty-four hours at Bassora, before the king awoke. They then threw off
+their disguise, which might have created some suspicion. They fitted out
+with all possible expedition a ship, which carried them, by the Straits
+of Ormus, to the beautiful banks of Eden in Arabia Felix. This was that
+Eden, whose gardens were so famous, that they have since been the
+residence of the best of mankind. They were the model of the Elysian
+fields, the gardens of the Hesperides, and also those of the Fortunate
+Islands. In those warm climates men imagined there could be no greater
+felicity than shades and murmuring brooks. To live eternally in heaven
+with the Supreme Being, or to walk in the garden of paradise, was the
+same thing to those who incessantly spoke without understanding one
+another, and who could scarce have any distinct ideas or just
+expressions.
+
+As soon as the princess found herself in this land, her first care was
+to pay her dear bird the funeral obsequies he had required of her. Her
+beautiful hands prepared a small quantity of cloves and cinnamon. What
+was her surprise, when, having spread the ashes of the bird upon this
+funeral pyre, she saw it blaze of itself! All was presently consumed.
+In the place of the ashes there appeared nothing but a large egg, from
+whence she saw her bird issue more brilliant than ever. This was one of
+the most happy moments the princess had ever experienced in her whole
+life. There was but another that could ever be dearer to her; it was the
+object of her wishes, but almost beyond her hopes.
+
+"I plainly see," said she, to the bird, "you are the phœnix which I
+have heard so much spoken of. I am almost ready to expire with joy and
+astonishment. I did not believe in your resurrection; but it is my good
+fortune to be convinced of it."
+
+"Resurrection, in fact," said the phœnix to her, "is one of the most
+simple things in the world. There is nothing more in being born twice
+than once. Every thing in this world is the effect of resurrection.
+Caterpillars are regenerated into butterflies; a kernel put into the
+earth is regenerated into a tree. All animals buried in the earth
+regenerate into vegetation, herbs, and plants, and nourish other
+animals, of which they speedily compose part of the substance. All
+particles which compose bodies are transformed into different beings. It
+is true, that I am the only one to whom Oromasdes[1] has granted the
+favor of regenerating in my own form."
+
+Formosanta, who from the moment she first saw Amazan and the phœnix,
+had passed all her time in a round of astonishment, said to him:
+
+"I can easily conceive that the Supreme Being may form out of your ashes
+a phœnix nearly resembling yourself; but that you should be precisely
+the same person, that you should have the same soul, is a thing, I
+acknowledge, I cannot very clearly comprehend. What became of your soul
+when I carried you in my pocket after your death?"
+
+"Reflect one moment! Is it not as easy for the great Oromasdes to
+continue action upon a single atom of my being, as to begin afresh this
+action? He had before granted me sensation, memory, and thought. He
+grants them to me again. Whether he united this favor to an atom of
+elementary fire, latent within me, or to the assemblage of my organs,
+is, in reality, of no consequence. Men, as well as phœnixes, are
+entirely ignorant how things come to pass, but the greatest favor the
+Supreme Being has bestowed upon me, is to regenerate me for you. Oh!
+that I may pass the twenty-eight thousand years which I have still to
+live before my next resurrection, with you and my dear Amazan."
+
+"My dear phœnix, remember what you first told me at Babylon, which I
+shall never forget, and which flattered me with the hope of again seeing
+my dear shepherd, whom I idolize; 'we must absolutely pay the Gangarids
+a visit together,' and I must carry Amazan back with me to Babylon."
+
+"This is precisely my design," said the phœnix. "There is not a
+moment to lose. We must go in search of Amazan by the shortest road,
+that is, through the air. There are in Arabia Felix two griffins,[2] who
+are my particular friends, and who live only a hundred and fifty
+thousand leagues from here. I am going to write to them by the pigeon
+post, and they will be here before night. We shall have time to make you
+a convenient palankeen, with drawers, in which you may place your
+provisions. You will be quite at your ease in this vehicle, with your
+maid. These two griffins are the most vigorous of their kind. Each of
+them will support one of the poles of the canopy between their claws.
+But, once for all, time is very precious."
+
+He instantly went with Formosanta to order the carriage at an
+upholsterer's of his acquaintance. It was made complete in four hours.
+In the drawers were placed small fine loaves, biscuits superior to those
+of Babylon, large lemons, pine-apples, cocoa, and pistachio nuts, Eden
+wine, which is as superior to that of Chiras, as Chiras is to that of
+Surinam.
+
+The two griffins arrived at Eden at the appointed time. The vehicle was
+as light as it was commodious and solid, and Formosanta and Irla placed
+themselves in it. The two griffins carried it off like a feather. The
+phœnix sometimes flew after it, and sometimes perched upon its roof.
+The two griffins winged their way toward the Ganges with the velocity of
+an arrow which rends the air. They never stopped but a moment at night
+for the travelers to take some refreshment, and the carriers to take a
+draught of water.
+
+They at length reached the country of the Gangarids. The princess's
+heart palpitated with hope, love, and joy. The phœnix stopped the
+vehicle before Amazan's house; but Amazan had been absent from home
+three hours, without any one knowing whither he had gone.
+
+There are no words, even in the Gangaridian language, that could express
+Formosanta's extreme despair.
+
+"Alas! this is what I dreaded," said the phœnix: "the three hours
+which you passed at the inn, upon the road to Bassora, with that
+wretched king of Egypt, have perhaps been at the price of the happiness
+of your whole life. I very much fear we have lost Amazan, without the
+possibility of recovering him."
+
+He then asked the servants if he could salute the mother of Amazan? They
+answered, that her husband had died only two days before, and she could
+speak to no one. The phœnix, who was not without influence in the
+house, introduced the princess of Babylon into a saloon, the walls of
+which were covered with orange-tree wood inlaid with ivory. The inferior
+shepherds and shepherdesses, who were dressed in long white garments,
+with gold colored trimmings, served up, in a hundred plain porcelain
+baskets, a hundred various delicacies, amongst which no disguised
+carcasses were to be seen. They consisted of rice, sago, vermicelli,
+macaroni, omelets, milk, eggs, cream, cheese, pastry of every kind,
+vegetables, fruits, peculiarly fragrant and grateful to the taste, of
+which no idea can be formed in other climates; and they were accompanied
+with a profusion of refreshing liquors superior to the finest wine.
+
+Whilst the princess regaled herself, seated upon a bed of roses, four
+peacocks, who were luckily mute, fanned her with their brilliant wings;
+two hundred birds, one hundred shepherds and shepherdesses, warbled a
+concert in two different choirs; the nightingales, thistlefinches,
+linnets, chaffinches, sung the higher notes with the shepherdesses, and
+the shepherds sung the tenor and bass. The princess acknowledged, that
+if there was more magnificence at Babylon, nature was infinitely more
+agreeable among the Gangarids; but whilst this consolatory and
+voluptuous music was playing, tears flowed from her eyes, whilst she
+said to the damsel Irla:
+
+"These shepherds and shepherdesses, these nightingales, these linnets,
+are making love; and for my part, I am deprived of the company of the
+Gangaridian hero, the worthy object of my most tender thoughts."
+
+Whilst she was taking this collation, her tears and admiration kept pace
+with each other, and the phœnix addressed himself to Amazan's mother,
+saying:
+
+"Madam, you cannot avoid seeing the princess of Babylon; you know--"
+
+"I know every thing," said she, "even her adventure at the inn, upon the
+road to Bassora. A blackbird related the whole to me this morning; and
+this cruel blackbird is the cause of my son's going mad, and leaving his
+paternal abode."
+
+"You have not been informed, then, that the princess regenerated me?"
+
+"No, my dear child, the blackbird told me you were dead, and this made
+me inconsolable. I was so afflicted at this loss, the death of my
+husband, and the precipitate flight of my son, that I ordered my door to
+be shut to every one. But since the princess of Babylon has done me the
+honor of paying me a visit, I beg she may be immediately introduced. I
+have matters of great importance to acquaint her with, and I choose you
+should be present."
+
+She then went to meet the princess in another saloon. She could not walk
+very well. This lady was about three hundred years old; but she had
+still some agreeable vestiges of beauty. It might be conjectured, that
+about her two hundred and fortieth, or two hundred and fiftieth year,
+she must have been a most charming woman. She received Formosanta with a
+respectful nobleness, blended with an air of interest and sorrow, which
+made a very lively impression upon the princess.
+
+Formosanta immediately paid her the compliments of condolence upon her
+husband's death.
+
+"Alas!" said the widow, "you have more reason to lament his death than
+you imagine."
+
+"I am, doubtless, greatly afflicted," said Formosanta; "he was father
+to--." Here a flood of tears prevented her from going on. "For his sake
+only I undertook this journey, in which I have so narrowly escaped many
+dangers. For him I left my father, and the most splendid court in the
+universe. I was detained by a King of Egypt, whom I detest. Having
+escaped from this tyrant, I have traversed the air in search of the only
+man I love. When I arrive, he flies from me!" Here sighs and tears
+stopped her impassioned harangue.
+
+His mother then said to her:
+
+"When the king of Egypt made you his prisoner,--when you supped with him
+at an inn upon the road to Bassora,--when your beautiful hands filled
+him bumpers of Chiras wine, did you observe a blackbird that flew about
+the room?"
+
+"Yes, really," said the princess, "I now recollect there was such a
+bird, though at that time I did not pay it the least attention. But in
+collecting my ideas, I now remember well, that at the instant when the
+king of Egypt rose from the table to give me a kiss, the blackbird flew
+out at the window giving a loud cry, and never appeared after."
+
+"Alas! madam," resumed Amazan's mother, "this is precisely the cause of
+all our misfortunes; my son had dispatched this blackbird to gain
+intelligence of your health, and all that passed at Babylon. He proposed
+speedily to return, throw himself at your feet, and consecrate to you
+the remainder of his life. You know not to what a pitch he adores you.
+All the Gangarids are both loving and faithful; but my son is the most
+passionate and constant of them all. The blackbird found you at an inn,
+drinking very cheerfully with the king of Egypt and a vile priest; he
+afterward saw you give this monarch who had killed the phœnix,--the
+man my son holds in utter detestation,--a fond embrace. The blackbird,
+at the sight of this, was seized with a just indignation. He flew away
+imprecating your fatal error. He returned this day, and has related
+every thing. But, just heaven, at what a juncture! At the very time that
+my son was deploring with me the loss of his father and that of the wise
+phœnix, the very instant I had informed him that he was your cousin
+german--"
+
+"Oh heavens! my cousin, madam, is it possible? How can this be? And am I
+so happy as to be thus allied to him, and yet so miserable as to have
+offended him?"
+
+"My son is, I tell you," said the Gangaridian lady, "your cousin, and I
+shall presently convince you of it; but in becoming my relation, you rob
+me of my son. He cannot survive the grief that the embrace you gave to
+the king of Egypt has occasioned him."
+
+"Ah! my dear aunt," cried the beautiful Formosanta, "I swear by him and
+the all-powerful Oromasdes, that this embrace, so far from being
+criminal, was the strongest proof of love your son could receive from
+me. I disobeyed my father for his sake. For him I went from the
+Euphrates to the Ganges. Having fallen into the hands of the worthless
+Pharaoh of Egypt, I could not escape his clutches but by artifice. I
+call the ashes and soul of the phœnix, which were then in my pocket,
+to witness. He can do me justice. But how can your son, born upon the
+banks of the Ganges, be my cousin? I, whose family have reigned upon the
+banks of the Euphrates for so many centuries?"
+
+"You know," said the venerable Gangaridian lady to her, "that your grand
+uncle, Aldea, was king of Babylon, and that he was dethroned by Belus's
+father?"
+
+"Yes, madam."
+
+"You know that this Aldea had in marriage a daughter named Aldea,
+brought up in your court? It was this prince, who, being persecuted by
+your father, took refuge under another name in our happy country. He
+married me, and is the father of the young prince Aldea Amazan, the most
+beautiful, the most courageous, the strongest, and most virtuous of
+mortals; and at this hour the most unhappy. He went to the Babylonian
+festival upon the credit of your beauty; since that time he idolizes
+you, and now grieves because he believes that you have proved unfaithful
+to him. Perhaps I shall never again set eyes upon my dear son."
+
+She then displayed to the princess all the titles of the house of Aldea.
+Formosanta scarce deigned to look at them.
+
+"Ah! madam, do we examine what is the object of our desire? My heart
+sufficiently believes you. But where is Aldea Amazan? Where is my
+kinsman, my lover, my king? Where is my life? What road has he taken? I
+will seek for him in every sphere the Eternal Being hath framed, and of
+which he is the greatest ornament. I will go into the star Canope, into
+Sheath, into Aldebaran; I will go and tell him of my love and convince
+him of my innocence."
+
+The phœnix justified the princess with regard to the crime that was
+imputed to her by the blackbird, of fondly embracing the king of Egypt;
+but it was necessary to undeceive Amazan and recall him. Birds were
+dispatched on every side. Unicorns sent forward in every direction. News
+at length arrived that Amazan had taken the road toward China.
+
+"Well, then," said the princess, "let us set out for China. I will seek
+him in defiance of both difficulty and danger. The journey is not long,
+and I hope I shall bring you back your son in a fortnight at farthest."
+
+At these words tears of affection streamed from his mother's eyes and
+also from those of the princess. They most tenderly embraced, in the
+great sensibility of their hearts.
+
+The phœnix immediately ordered a coach with six unicorns. Amazan's
+mother furnished two thousand horsemen, and made the princess, her
+niece, a present of some thousands of the finest diamonds of her
+country. The phœnix, afflicted at the evil occasioned by the
+blackbird's indiscretion, ordered all the blackbirds to quit the
+country; and from that time none have been met with upon the banks of
+the Ganges.
+
+
+[1] The god Ormuzd, (called Oromasdes by the Greeks), was regarded by
+the Magi as the source of all good. His followers were in reality
+worshipers of nature, and used neither temples, altars, nor statues, but
+performed their simple rites on mountain tops. They adored Oromasdes as
+the source of all light and purity, and regarded the sun and fire as
+symbols of the divinity. They were, in the language of Wadsworth:
+
+                   "--zealous to reject
+      Altar and Image, and the inclusive walls
+      And roofs of temples built by human hands,--
+      The loftiest heights ascending,
+      Presented sacrifice to Moon and Stars
+      And to the Winds and mother Elements,
+      And the whole circle of the Heavens, for him
+      A sensitive existence and a God."
+
+Byron, in Childe Harold, contrasts the "unwalled temples," of the
+worshipers of Nature, with the "idol-dwellings," where images are
+adored:
+
+     "Not vainly did the early Persian make
+      His altar the high places and the peak
+      Of earth-o'er-gazing mountains, and thus take
+      A fit and unwalled temple, there to seek
+      The Spirit, in whose honor shrines are weak,
+      Upreared of human hands. Come and compare
+      Columns and idol-dwellings, Goth or Greek,
+      With Nature's realms of worship, earth and air,
+      Nor fix on fond abodes to circumscribe thy prayer."
+
+In Moore's Lalla Rookh will be found an exquisite sketch of the Magi, or
+ancient Fire Worshipers,--
+
+     "Those slaves of Fire, that morn and even
+      Hal their creator's dwelling-place
+      Among the living lights of heaven."--E.
+
+
+[2] On ancient coins and armorial bearings, the Griffin is represented
+as having the head and wings of an eagle, joined to the body and paws of
+a lion, thus representing strength and swiftness combined. It was
+supposed to watch over mines of gold, and also whatever was secretly
+hidden. It built its nest like a bird, using gold as the material, and
+hence it was necessary to vigilantly guard its treasures from the
+rapacity of mankind--who, says Milton, in _Paradise Lost_, "by stealth
+purloined its guarded gold." The poets intimate that the chariot of
+Apollo, the god of the sun, was drawn by griffins.--E.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+FORMOSANTA VISITS CHINA AND SCYTHIA IN SEARCH OF AMAZAN.
+
+
+The unicorns, in less than eight days, carried Formosanta, Irla, and the
+phœnix, to Cambalu, the capital of China. This city was larger than
+that of Babylon, and in appearance quite different. These fresh objects,
+these strange manners, would have amused Formosanta could any thing but
+Amazan have engaged her attention.
+
+As soon as the emperor of China learned that the princess of Babylon was
+at the city gates, he dispatched four thousand Mandarins in ceremonial
+robes to receive her. They all prostrated themselves before her, and
+presented her with an address written in golden letters upon a sheet of
+purple silk. Formosanta told them, that if she were possessed of four
+thousand tongues, she would not omit replying immediately to every
+Mandarin; but that having only one, she hoped they would be satisfied
+with her general thanks. They conducted her, in a respectful manner, to
+the emperor.
+
+He was the wisest, most just and benevolent monarch upon earth. It was
+he who first tilled a small field with his own imperial hands, to make
+agriculture respectable to his people. Laws in all other countries were
+shamefully confined to the punishment of crimes: he first allotted
+premiums to virtue. This emperor had just banished from his dominions a
+gang of foreign Bonzes, who had come from the extremities of the West,
+with the frantic hope of compelling all China _to think like
+themselves_; and who, under pretence of teaching truths, had already
+acquired honors and riches. In expelling them, he delivered himself in
+these words, which are recorded in the annals of the empire:
+
+_"You may here do us much harm as you have elsewhere. You have come to
+preach dogmas of intolerance, to the most tolerant nation upon earth. I
+send you back, that I may never be compelled to punish you. You will be
+honorably conducted to my frontiers. You will be furnished with every
+thing necessary to return to the confines of the hemisphere from whence
+you came. Depart in peace, if you can be at peace, and never return."_
+
+The princess of Babylon heard with pleasure of this speech and
+determination. She was the more certain of being well received at court,
+as she was very far from entertaining any dogmas of intolerance. The
+emperor of China, in dining with her _tête-à-tête_, had the politeness
+to banish all disagreeable _etiquette_. She presented the phœnix to
+him, who was gently caressed by the emperor, and who perched upon his
+chair. Formosanta, toward the end of the repast, ingenuously acquainted
+him with the cause of her journey, and entreated him to search for the
+beautiful Amazan in the city of Cambalu; and in the meanwhile she
+acquainted the emperor with her adventures, without concealing the fatal
+passion with which her heart burned for this youthful hero.
+
+"He did me the honor of coming to my court," said the emperor of China.
+"I was enchanted with this amiable Amazan. It is true that he is deeply
+afflicted; but his graces are thereby the more affecting. Not one of my
+favorites has more wit. There is not a gown Mandarin who has more
+knowledge,--not a military one who has a more martial or heroic air. His
+extreme youth adds an additional value to all his talents. If I were so
+unfortunate, so abandoned by the Tien and Changti, as to desire to be a
+conqueror, I would wish Amazan to put himself at the head of my armies,
+and I should be sure of conquering the whole universe. It is a great
+pity that his melancholy sometimes disconcerts him."
+
+"Ah! sir," said Formosanta, with much agitation and grief, blended with
+an air of reproach, "why did you not request me to dine with him? This
+is a cruel stroke you have given me. Send for him immediately, I entreat
+you."
+
+"He set out this very morning," replied the emperor, "without
+acquainting me with his destination."
+
+Formosanta, turning toward the phœnix, said to him:
+
+"Did you ever know so unfortunate a damsel as myself?" Then resuming the
+conversation, she said:
+
+"Sir, how came he to quit in so abrupt a manner, so polite a court, in
+which, methinks, one might pass one's life?"
+
+"The case was as follows," said he. "One of the most amiable of the
+princesses of the blood, falling desperately in love with him, desired
+to meet him at noon. He set out at day-break, leaving this billet for
+my kinswoman, whom it hath cost a deluge of tears:
+
+     "Beautiful princess of the mongolian race. You are deserving of a
+     heart that was never offered up at any other altar. I have sworn to
+     the immortal gods never to love any other than Formosanta, princess
+     of Babylon, and to teach her how to conquer one's desires in
+     traveling. She has had the misfortune to yield to a worthless king
+     of Egypt. I am the most unfortunate of men; having lost my father,
+     the phœnix, and the hope of being loved by Formosanta. I left my
+     mother in affliction, forsook my home and country, being unable to
+     live a moment in the place where I learned that Formosanta loved
+     another than me. I swore to traverse the earth, and be faithful.
+     You would despise me, and the gods punish me, if I violated my
+     oath. Choose another lover, madam, and be as faithful as I am."
+
+"Ah! give me that miraculous letter," said the beautiful Formosanta; "it
+will afford me some consolation. I am happy in the midst of my
+misfortunes. Amazan loves me! Amazan, for me, renounces the society of
+the princesses of China. There is no one upon earth but himself endowed
+with so much fortitude. He sets me a most brilliant example. The
+phœnix knows I did not stand in need of it. How cruel it is to be
+deprived of one's lover for the most innocent embrace given through pure
+fidelity. But, tell me, whither has he gone? What road has he taken?
+Deign to inform me, and I will immediately set out."
+
+The emperor of China told her, that, according to the reports he had
+received, her lover had taken the road toward Scythia. The unicorns were
+immediately harnessed, and the princess, after the most tender
+compliments, took leave of the emperor, and resumed her journey with the
+phœnix, her chambermaid Irla, and all her train.
+
+As soon as she arrived in Scythia, she was more convinced than ever how
+much men and governments differed, and would continue to differ, until
+noble and enlightened minds should by degrees remove that cloud of
+darkness which has covered the earth for so many ages; and until there
+should be found in barbarous climes, heroic souls, who would have
+strength and perseverance enough to transform brutes into men. There are
+no cities in Scythia, consequently no agreeable arts. Nothing was to be
+seen but extensive fields, and whole tribes whose sole habitations were
+tents and chars. Such an appearance struck her with terror. Formosanta
+enquired in what tent or char the king was lodged? She was informed that
+he had set out eight days before with three hundred thousand cavalry to
+attack the king of Babylon, whose niece, the beautiful princess Aldea,
+he had carried off.
+
+"What! did he run away with my cousin?" cried Formosanta. "I could not
+have imagined such an incident. What! has my cousin, who was too happy
+in paying her court to me, become a queen, and I am not yet married?"
+She was immediately conducted, by her desire, to the queen's tent.
+
+Their unexpected meeting in such distant climes--the uncommon
+occurrences they mutually had to impart to each other, gave such charms
+to this interview, as made them forget they never loved one another.
+They saw each other with transport; and a soft illusion supplied the
+place of real tenderness. They embraced with tears, and there was a
+cordiality and frankness on each side that could not have taken place in
+a palace.
+
+Aldea remembered the phœnix and the waiting maid Irla. She presented
+her cousin with zibelin skins, who in return gave her diamonds. The war
+between the two kings was spoken of. They deplored the fate of soldiers
+who were forced into battle, the victims of the caprice of princes, when
+two honest men might, perhaps, settle the dispute in less than an hour,
+without a single throat being cut. But the principal topic was the
+handsome stranger, who had conquered lions, given the largest diamonds
+in the universe, written madrigals, and had now become the most
+miserable of men from believing the statements of a blackbird.
+
+"He is my dear brother," said Aldea. "He is my lover," cried Formosanta.
+"You have, doubtless, seen him. Is he still here? for, cousin, as he
+knows he is your brother, he cannot have left you so abruptly as he did
+the king of China.
+
+"Have I seen him? good heavens! yes. He passed four whole days with me.
+Ah! cousin, how much my brother is to blame. A false report has
+absolutely turned his brain. He roams about the world, without knowing
+whither he is destined. Imagine to yourself his distraction of mind,
+which is so great, that he has refused to meet the handsomest lady in
+all Scythia. He set out yesterday, after writing her a letter which has
+thrown her into despair. As for him, he has gone to visit the
+Cimmerians."
+
+"God be thanked!" cried Formosanta, "another refusal in my favor. My
+good fortune is beyond my hopes, as my misfortunes surpass my greatest
+apprehensions. Procure me this charming letter, that I may set out and
+follow him, loaded with his sacrifices. Farewell, cousin. Amazan is
+among the Cimmerians, and I fly to meet him."
+
+Aldea judged that the princess, her cousin, was still more frantic than
+her brother Amazan. Hut as she had herself been sensible of the effects
+of this epidemic contagion, having given up the delights and
+magnificence of Babylon for a king of Scythia; and as the women always
+excuse those follies that are the effects of love, she felt for
+Formosanta's affliction, wished her a happy journey, and promised to be
+her advocate with her brother, if ever she was so fortunate as to see
+him again.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+THE PRINCESS CONTINUES HER JOURNEY.
+
+
+From Scythia the princess of Babylon, with her phœnix, soon arrived
+at the empire of the Cimmerians, now called Russia; a country indeed
+much less populous than Scythia, but of far greater extent.
+
+After a few days' journey, she entered a very large city, which has of
+late been greatly improved by the reigning sovereign. The empress,
+however, was not there at that time, but was making a journey through
+her dominions, on the frontiers of Europe and Asia, in order to judge of
+their state and condition with her own eyes,--to enquire into their
+grievances, and to provide the proper remedies for them.
+
+The principal magistrate of that ancient capital, as soon as he was
+informed of the arrival of the Babylonian lady and the phœnix, lost
+no time in paying her all the honors of his country; being certain that
+his mistress, the most polite and generous empress in the world, would
+be extremely well pleased to find that he had received so illustrious a
+lady with all that respect which she herself, if on the spot, would have
+shown her.
+
+The princess was lodged in the palace, and entertained with great
+splendor and elegance. The Cimmerian lord, who was an excellent natural
+philosopher, diverted himself in conversing with the phœnix, at such
+times as the princess chose to retire to her own apartment. The
+phœnix told him, that he had formerly traveled among the Cimmerians,
+but that he should not have known the country again.
+
+"How comes it," said he, "that such prodigious changes have been brought
+about in so short a time? Formerly, when I was here, about three hundred
+years ago, I saw nothing but savage nature in all her horrors. At
+present, I perceive industry, arts, splendor, and politeness."
+
+"This mighty revolution," replied the Cimmerian, "was begun by one man,
+and is now carried to perfection by one woman;--a woman who is a greater
+legislator than the Isis of the Egyptians, or the Ceres of the Greeks.
+Most law-givers have been, unhappily, of a narrow genius and an
+arbitrary disposition, which conned their views to the countries they
+governed. Each of them looked upon his own race as the only people
+existing upon the earth, or as if they ought to be at enmity with all
+the rest. They formed institutions, introduced customs, and established
+religions exclusively for themselves. Thus the Egyptians, so famous for
+those heaps of stones called pyramids, have dishonored themselves with
+their barbarous superstitions. They despise all other nations as
+profane; refuse all manner of intercourse with them; and, excepting
+those conversant in the court, who now and then rise above the
+prejudices of the vulgar, there is not an Egyptian who will eat off a
+plate that has ever been used by a stranger. Their priests are equally
+cruel and absurd. It were better to have no laws at all, and to follow
+those notions of right and wrong engraven on our hearts by nature, than
+to subject society to institutions so inhospitable.
+
+"Our empress has adopted quite a different system. She considers her
+vast dominions, under which all the meridians on the globe are united,
+as under an obligation of correspondence with all the nations dwelling
+under those meridians. The first and most fundamental of her laws, is an
+universal toleration of all religions, and an unbounded compassion for
+every error. Her penetrating genius perceives, that though the modes of
+religious worship differ, yet morality is every where the same. By this
+principle, she has united her people to all the nations on earth, and
+the Cimmerians will soon consider the Scandinavians and the Chinese as
+their brethren. Not satisfied with this, she has resolved to establish
+this invaluable toleration, the strongest link of society, among her
+neighbors. By these means, she obtained the title of the parent of her
+country; and, if she persevere, will acquire that of the benefactress of
+mankind.
+
+"Before her time, the men, who were unhappily possessed of power, sent
+out legions of murderers to ravage unknown countries, and to water with
+the blood of the children the inheritance of their fathers. Those
+assassins were called heroes, and their robberies accounted glorious
+achievements. But our sovereign courts another sort of glory. She has
+sent forth her armies to be the messengers of peace; not only to prevent
+men from being the destroyers, but to oblige them to be the benefactors
+of one another. Her standards are the ensigns of public tranquillity."
+
+The phœnix was quite charmed with what he heard from this nobleman.
+He told him, that though he had lived twenty-seven thousand nine hundred
+years and seven months in this world, he had never seen any thing like
+it. He then enquired after his friend Amazan. The Cimmerian gave the
+same account of him that the princess had already heard from the Chinese
+and the Scythians. It was Amazan's constant practice to run away from
+all the courts he visited, the instant any lady noticed him in
+particular and seemed anxious to make his acquaintance. The phœnix
+soon acquainted Formosanta with this fresh instance of Amazan's
+fidelity--a fidelity so much the more surprising, since he could not
+imagine his princess would ever hear of it.
+
+Amazan had set out for Scandinavia, where he was entertained with sights
+still more surprising. In this place, he beheld monarchy and liberty
+subsisting together in a manner thought incompatible in other states;
+the laborers of the ground shared in the legislature with the grandees
+of the realm. In another place he saw what was still more extraordinary;
+a prince equally remarkable for his extreme youth and uprightness, who
+possessed a sovereign authority over his country, acquired by a solemn
+contract with his people.
+
+Amazan beheld a philosopher on the throne of Sarmatia, who might be
+called a king of anarchy; for he was the chief of a hundred thousand
+petty kings, one of whom with his single voice could render ineffectual
+the resolution of all the rest. Eolus had not more difficulty to keep
+the warring winds within their proper bounds, than this monarch to
+reconcile the tumultuous discordant spirits of his subjects. He was the
+master of a ship surrounded with eternal storms. But the vessel did not
+founder, for he was an excellent pilot.
+
+In traversing those various countries, so different from his own, Amazan
+persevered in rejecting all the advances made to him by the ladies,
+though incessantly distracted with the embrace given by Formosanta to
+the king of Egypt, being resolved to set Formosanta an amazing example
+of an unshaken and unparalleled fidelity.
+
+The princess of Babylon was constantly close at his heels, and scarcely
+ever missed of him but by a day or two; without the one being tired of
+roaming, or the other losing a moment in pursuing him.
+
+Thus he traversed the immense continent of Germany, where he beheld with
+wonder the progress which reason and philosophy had made in the north.
+Even their princes were enlightened, and had become the patrons of
+freedom of thought. Their education had not been trusted to men who had
+an interest in deceiving them, or who were themselves deceived. They
+were brought up in the knowledge of universal morality, and in the
+contempt of superstition.
+
+They had banished from all their estates a senseless custom which had
+enervated and depopulated the southern countries. This was to bury alive
+in immense dungeons, infinite numbers of both sexes who were eternally
+separated from one another, and sworn to have no communication together.
+This madness had contributed more than the most cruel wars to lay waste
+and depopulate the earth.
+
+In opposing these barbarous institutions, so inimical to the laws of
+nature and the best interests of society, the princes of the north had
+become the benefactors of their race. They had likewise exploded other
+errors equally absurd and pernicious. In short, men had at last
+ventured to make use of their reason in those immense regions; whereas
+it was still believed almost every where else, that they could not be
+governed but in proportion to their ignorance.
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+AMAZAN VISITS ALBION.
+
+
+From Germany, Amazan arrived at Batavia; where his perpetual chagrin was
+in a good measure alleviated, by perceiving among the inhabitants a
+faint resemblance to his happy countrymen, the Gangarids. There he saw
+liberty, security, and equality,--with toleration in religion; but the
+ladies were so indifferent, that none made him any advances; an
+experience he had not met with before. It is true, however, that had he
+been inclined to address them, they would not have been offended;
+though, at the same time, not one would have been the least in love; but
+he was far from any thoughts of making conquests.
+
+Formosanta had nearly caught him in this insipid nation. He had set out
+but a moment before her arrival.
+
+Amazan had heard so much among the Batavians in praise of a certain
+island called Albion, that he was led by curiosity to embark with his
+unicorns on board a ship, which, with a favorable easterly wind, carried
+him in a few hours to that celebrated country, more famous than Tyre, or
+Atlantis.
+
+The beautiful Formosanta, who had followed him, as it were on the scent,
+to the banks of the Volga, the Vistula, the Elbe, and the Weser, and had
+never been above a day or two behind him, arrived soon after at the
+mouth of the Rhine, where it disembogues its waters into the German
+Ocean.
+
+Here she learned that her beloved Amazan had just set sail for Albion.
+She thought she saw the vessel on board of which he was, and could not
+help crying out for joy; at which the Batavian ladies were greatly
+surprised, not imagining that a young man could possibly occasion so
+violent a transport. They took, indeed, but little notice of the
+phœnix, as they reckoned his feathers would not fetch near so good a
+price as those of their own ducks, and other water fowl. The princess
+of Babylon hired two vessels to carry herself and her retinue to that
+happy island, which was soon to possess the only object of her desires,
+the soul of her life, and the god of her idolatry.
+
+An unpropitious wind from the west suddenly arose, just as the faithful
+and unhappy Amazan landed on Albion's sea-girt shore, and detained the
+ships of the Babylonian princess just as they were on the point of
+sailing. Seized with a deep melancholy, she went to her room, determined
+to remain there till the wind should change; but it blew for the space
+of eight days, with an unremitting violence. The princess, during this
+tedious period, employed her maid of honor, Irla, in reading romances;
+which were not indeed written by the Batavians; but as they are the
+factors of the universe, they traffic in the wit as well as commodities
+of other nations. The princess purchased of Mark Michael Rey, the
+bookseller, all the novels which had been written by the Ausonians and
+the Welch, the sale of which had been wisely prohibited among those
+nations to enrich their neighbors, the Batavians. She expected to find
+in those histories some adventure similar to her own, which might
+alleviate her grief. The maid of honor read, the phœnix made
+comments, and the princess, finding nothing in the _Fortunate Country
+Maid_, in _Tansai_, or in the _Sopha_, that had the least resemblance to
+her own affairs, interrupted the reader every moment, by asking how the
+wind stood.
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+AMAZAN LEAVES ALBION TO VISIT THE LAND OF SATURN.
+
+
+In the mean time Amazan was on the road to the capital of Albion, in his
+coach and six unicorns, all his thoughts employed on his dear princess.
+At a small distance he perceived a carriage overturned in a ditch. The
+servants had gone in different directions in quest of assistance, but
+the owner kept his seat, smoking his pipe with great tranquillity,
+without manifesting the smallest impatience. His name was my lord
+What-then, in the language from which I translate these memoirs.
+
+Amazan made all the haste possible to help him, and without assistance
+set the carriage to rights, so much was his strength superior to that of
+other men. My lord What-then took no other notice of him, than saying,
+"a stout fellow, by Jove!" In the meantime the neighboring people,
+having arrived, flew into a great passion at being called out to no
+purpose, and fell upon the stranger. They abused him, called him an
+outlandish dog, and challenged him to strip and box.
+
+Amazan seized a brace of them in each hand, and threw them twenty paces
+from him; the rest seeing this, pulled off their hats, and bowing with
+great respect, asked his honor for something to drink. His honor gave
+them more money than they had ever seen in their lives before. My lord
+What-then now expressed great esteem for him, and asked him to dinner at
+his country house, about three miles off. His invitation being accepted,
+he went into Amazan's coach, his own being out of order from the
+accident.
+
+After a quarter of an hour's silence, my lord What-then, looking upon
+Amazan for a moment, said. "How d'ye do?" which, by the way, is a phrase
+without any meaning, adding, "You have got six fine unicorns there."
+After which he continued smoking as usual.
+
+The traveler told him his unicorns were at his service, and that he had
+brought them from the country of the Gangarids. From thence he took
+occasion to inform him of his affair with the princess of Babylon, and
+the unlucky kiss she had given the king of Egypt; to which the other
+made no reply, being very indifferent whether there were any such people
+in the world, as a king of Egypt, or a princess of Babylon.
+
+He remained dumb for another quarter of an hour; after which he asked
+his companion a second time how he did, and whether they had any good
+roast beef among the Gangarids.
+
+Amazan answered with his wonted politeness, "that they did not eat their
+brethren on the banks of the Ganges." He then explained to him that
+system which many ages afterward was surnamed the Pythagorean
+philosophy. But my lord fell asleep in the meantime, and made but one
+nap of it till he came to his own house.
+
+He was married to a young and charming woman, on whom nature had
+bestowed a soul as lively and sensible as that of her husband was dull
+and stupid. A few gentlemen of Albion had that day come to dine with
+her; among whom there were characters of all sorts; for that country
+having been almost always under the government of foreigners, the
+families that had come over with these princes had imported their
+different manners. There were in this company some persons of an amiable
+disposition, others of superior genius, and a few of profound learning.
+
+The mistress of the house had none of that awkward stiffness, that false
+modesty, with which the young ladies of Albion were then reproached. She
+did not conceal by a scornful look and an affected taciturnity, her
+deficiency of ideas: and the embarrassing humility of having nothing to
+say. Never was a woman more engaging. She received Amazan with a grace
+and politeness that were quite natural to her. The extreme beauty of
+this young stranger, and the involuntary comparison she could not help
+making between him and her prosaic husband, did not increase her
+happiness or content.
+
+Dinner being served, she placed Amazan at her side, and helped him to a
+variety of puddings, he having informed her that the Gangarids never
+dined upon any thing which had received from the gods the celestial gift
+of life. The events of his early life, the manners of the Gangarids, the
+progress of arts, religion, and government, were the subjects of a
+conversation equally agreeable and instructive all the time of the
+entertainment, which lasted till night: during which my lord What-then
+did nothing but push the bottle about, and call for the toast.
+
+After dinner, while my lady was pouring out the tea, still feeding her
+eyes on the young stranger, he entered into a long conversation with a
+member of parliament; for every one knows that there was, even then, a
+parliament called Wittenagemot, or the assembly of wise men. Amazan
+enquired into the constitution, laws, manners, customs, forces, and
+arts, which made this country so respectable; and the member answered
+him in the following manner.
+
+"For a long time we went stark naked, though our climate is none of the
+hottest. We were likewise for a long time enslaved by a people who came
+from the ancient country of Saturn, watered by the Tiber. But the
+mischief we have done one another has greatly exceeded all that we
+ever suffered from our first conquerors. One of our princes carried his
+superstition to such a pitch, as to declare himself the subject of a
+priest, who dwells also on the banks of the Tiber, and is called the Old
+Man of the Seven Mountains. It has been the fate of the seven mountains
+to domineer over the greatest part of Europe, then inhabited by brutes
+in human shape.
+
+[Illustration: Religious wars in Albion.]
+
+"To those times of infamy and debasement, succeeded the ages of
+barbarity and confusion. Our country, more tempestuous than the
+surrounding ocean, has been ravaged and drenched in blood by our civil
+discords. Many of our crowned heads have perished by a violent death.
+Above a hundred princes of the royal blood have ended their days on the
+scaffold, whilst the hearts of their adherents have been torn from their
+breasts, and thrown in their faces. In short, it is the province of the
+hangman to write the history of our island, seeing that this personage
+has finally determined all our affairs of moment.
+
+"But to crown these horrors, it is not very long since some fellows
+wearing black mantles, and others who cast white shirts over their
+jackets, having become aggressive and intolerent, succeeded in
+communicating their madness to the whole nation. Our country was then
+divided into two parties, the murderers and the murdered, the
+executioners and the sufferers, plunderers and slaves; and all in the
+name of God, and whilst they were seeking the Lord.
+
+"Who would have imagined, that from this horrible abyss, this chaos of
+dissension, cruelty, ignorance, and fanaticism, a government should at
+last spring up, the most perfect, it may be said, now in the world; yet
+such has been the event. A prince, honored and wealthy, all-powerful to
+do good, but without power to do evil, is at the head of a free,
+warlike, commercial, and enlightened nation. The nobles on one hand, and
+the representatives of the people on the other, share the legislature
+with the monarch.
+
+"We have seen, by a singular fatality of events, disorder, civil wars,
+anarchy and wretchedness, lay waste the country, when our kings aimed at
+arbitrary power: whereas tranquillity, riches, and universal happiness,
+have only reigned among us, when the prince has remained satisfied with
+a limited authority. All order had been subverted whilst we were
+disputing about mysteries, but was re-established the moment we grew
+wise enough to despise them. Our victorious fleets carry our flag on
+every ocean; our laws place our lives and fortunes in security; no judge
+can explain them in an arbitrary manner, and no decision is ever given
+without the reasons assigned for it. We should punish a judge as an
+assassin, who should condemn a citizen to death without declaring the
+evidence which accused him, and the law upon which he was convicted.
+
+"It is true, there are always two parties among us, who are continually
+writing and intriguing against each other, but they constantly re-unite,
+whenever it is needful to arm in defence of liberty and our country.
+These two parties watch over one another, and mutually prevent the
+violation of the sacred _deposit_ of the laws. They hate one another,
+but they love the state. They are like those jealous lovers, who pay
+court to the same mistress, with a spirit of emulation.
+
+"From the same fund of genius by which we discovered and supported the
+natural rights of mankind, we have carried the sciences to the highest
+pitch to which they can attain among men. Your Egyptians, who pass for
+such great mechanics--your Indians, who are believed to be such great
+philosophers--your Babylonians, who boast of having observed the stars
+for the course of four hundred and thirty thousand years--the Greeks,
+who have written so much, and said so little, know in reality nothing in
+comparison to our inferior scholars, who have studied the discoveries of
+Our great masters. We have ravished more secrets from nature in the
+space of an hundred years, that the human species had been able to
+discover in as many ages.
+
+"This is a true account of our present state. I have concealed from you
+neither the good nor the bad; neither our shame nor our glory; and I
+have exaggerated nothing."
+
+At this discourse Amazan felt a strong desire to be instructed in those
+sublime sciences his friend had spoken of; and if his passion for the
+princess of Babylon, his filial duty to his mother whom he had quitted,
+and his love for his native country, had not made strong remonstrances
+to his distempered heart, he would willingly have spent the remainder of
+his life in Albion. But that unfortunate kiss his princess had given
+the king of Egypt, did not leave his mind at sufficient ease to study
+the abstruse sciences.
+
+"I confess," said he, "having made a solemn vow to roam about the world,
+and to escape from myself. I have a curiosity to see that ancient land
+of Saturn--that people of the Tiber and of the Seven Mountains, who have
+been heretofore your masters. They must undoubtedly be the first people
+on earth."
+
+"I advise you by all means," answered the member, "to take that journey,
+if you have the smallest taste for music or painting. Even we ourselves
+frequently carry our spleen and melancholy to the Seven Mountains. But
+you will be greatly surprised when you see the descendants of our
+conquerors."
+
+This was a long conversation, and Amazan had spoken in so agreeable a
+manner; his voice was so charming; his whole behavior so noble and
+engaging, that the mistress of the house could not resist the pleasure
+of having a little private chat with him in her turn. She accordingly
+sent him a little billet-doux intimating her wishes in the most
+agreeable language. Amazan had once more the courage to resist the
+fascination of female society, and, according to custom, wrote the lady
+an answer full of respect,--representing to her the sacredness of his
+oath, and the strict obligation he was under to teach the princess of
+Babylon to conquer her passions by his example; after which he harnessed
+his unicorns and departed for Batavia, leaving all the company in deep
+admiration of him, and the lady in profound astonishment. In her
+confusion she dropped Amazan's letter. My lord What-then read it next
+morning:
+
+"D--n it," said he, shrugging up his shoulders, "what stuff and nonsense
+have we got here?" and then rode out a fox hunting with some of his
+drunken neighbors.
+
+Amazan was already sailing upon the sea, possessed of a geographical
+chart, with which he had been presented by the learned Albion he had
+conversed with at lord What-then's. He was extremely astonished to find
+the greatest part of the earth upon a single sheet of paper.
+
+His eyes and imagination wandered over this little space; he observed
+the Rhine, the Danube, the Alps of Tyrol, there specified under their
+different names, and all the countries through which he was to pass
+before he arrived at the city of the Seven Mountains. But he more
+particularly fixed his eyes upon the country of the Gangarids, upon
+Babylon, where he had seen his dear princess, and upon the country of
+Bassora, where she had given a fatal kiss to the king of Egypt. He
+sighed, and tears streamed from his eyes at the unhappy remembrance. He
+agreed with the Albion who had presented him with the universe in
+epitome, when he averred that the inhabitants of the banks of the Thames
+were a thousand times better instructed than those upon the banks of the
+Nile, the Euphrates, and the Ganges.
+
+As he returned into Batavia, Formosanta proceeded toward Albion with her
+two ships at full sail. Amazan's ship and the princess's crossed one
+another and almost touched; the two lovers were close to each other,
+without being conscious of the fact. Ah! had they but known it! But this
+great consolation tyrannic destiny would not allow.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+AMAZAN VISITS ROME.
+
+
+No sooner had Amazan landed on the flat muddy shore of Batavia, than he
+immediately set out toward the city of the Seven Mountains. He was
+obliged to traverse the southern part of Germany. At every four miles he
+met with a prince and princess, maids of honor, and beggars. He was
+greatly astonished every where at the coquetries of these ladies and
+maids of honor, in which they indulged with German good faith. After
+having cleared the Alps he embarked upon the sea of Dalmatia, and landed
+in a city that had no resemblance to any thing he had heretofore seen.
+The sea formed the streets, and the houses were erected in the water.
+The few public places, with which this city was ornamented, were filled
+with men and women with double faces--that which nature had bestowed on
+them, and a pasteboard one, ill painted, with which they covered their
+natural visage; so that this people seemed composed of spectres. Upon
+the arrival of strangers in this country, they immediately purchase
+these visages, in the same manner as people elsewhere furnish themselves
+with hats and shoes. Amazan despised a fashion so contrary to nature. He
+appeared just as he was.
+
+Many ladies were introduced, and interested themselves in the handsome
+Amazan. But he fled with the utmost precipitancy, uttering the name of
+the incomparable princess of Babylon, and swearing by the immortal gods,
+that she was far handsomer than the Venetian girls.
+
+"Sublime traitoress," he cried, in his transports, "I will teach you to
+be faithful!"
+
+Now the yellow surges of the Tiber, pestiferous fens, a few pale
+emaciated inhabitants clothed in tatters which displayed their dry
+tanned hides, appeared to his sight, and bespoke his arrival at the gate
+of the city of the Seven Mountains,--that city of heroes and legislators
+who conquered and polished a great part of the globe.
+
+He expected to have seen at the triumphal gate, five hundred battalions
+commanded by heroes, and in the senate an assembly of demi-gods giving
+laws to the earth. But the only army he found consisted of about thirty
+tatterdemalions, mounting guard with umbrellas for fear of the sun.
+Having arrived at a temple which appeared to him very fine, but not so
+magnificent as that of Babylon, he was greatly astonished to hear a
+concert performed by men with female voices.
+
+"This," said he, "is a mighty pleasant country, which was formerly the
+land of Saturn. I have been in a city where no one showed his own face;
+here is another where men have neither their own voices nor beards."
+
+He was told that these eunuchs had been trained from childhood, that
+they might sing the more agreeably the praises of a great number of
+persons of merit. Amazan could not comprehend the meaning of this.
+
+They then explained to him very pleasantly, and with many
+gesticulations, according to the custom of their country, the point in
+question. Amazan was quite confounded.
+
+"I have traveled a great way," said he, "but I never before heard such a
+whim."
+
+After they had sung a good while, the Old Man of the Seven Mountains
+went with great ceremony to the gate of the temple. He cut the air in
+four parts with his thumb raised, two fingers extended and two bent, in
+uttering these words in a language no longer spoken: "_To the city and
+to the universe_." Amazan could not see how two fingers could extend so
+far.
+
+He presently saw the whole court of the master of the world file off.
+This court consisted of grave personages, some in scarlet, and others in
+violet robes. They almost all eyed the handsome Amazan with a tender
+look; and bowed to him, while commenting upon his personal appearance.
+
+The zealots whose vocation was to show the curiosities of the city to
+strangers, very eagerly offered to conduct him to several ruins, in
+which a muleteer would not choose to pass a night, but which were
+formerly worthy monuments of the grandeur of a royal people. He moreover
+saw pictures of two hundred years standing, and statues that had
+remained twenty ages, which appeared to him masterpieces of their kind.
+
+"Can you still produce such work?" said Amazan.
+
+"No, your excellency," replied one of the zealots; "but we despise the
+rest of the earth, because we preserve these rarities. We are a kind of
+old clothes men, who derive our glory from the cast-off garbs in our
+warehouses."
+
+Amazan was willing to see the prince's palace, and he was accordingly
+conducted thither. He saw men dressed in violet colored robes, who were
+reckoning the money of the revenues of the domains of lands, some
+situated upon the Danube, some upon the Loire, others upon the
+Guadalquivir, or the Vistula.
+
+"Oh! Oh!" said Amazan, having consulted his geographical map, "your
+master, then, possesses all Europe, like those ancient heroes of the
+Seven Mountains?"
+
+"He should possess the whole universe by divine right," replied a
+violet-livery man; "and there was even a time when his predecessors
+nearly compassed universal monarchy, but their successors are so good as
+to content themselves at present with some monies which the kings, their
+subjects, pay to them in the form of a tribute."
+
+"Your master is then, in fact, the king of kings. Is that his title?"
+said Amazan.
+
+[Illustration: The Old Man of The Seven Mountains.--"The Old Man of the
+Seven Mountains went with great ceremony to the gate of the temple. He
+cut the air in four parts with his thumb raised, two fingers extended
+and two bent, in uttering these words in a language no longer spoken:
+'To the city and to the universe.'"]
+
+"Your excellency, his title is _the servant of servants_! He was
+originally a fisherman and porter, wherefore the emblems of his dignity
+consist of keys and nets; but he at present issues orders to every
+king in Christendom. It is not a long while since he sent one hundred
+and one mandates to a king of the Celts, and the king obeyed."
+
+
+
+     THE SERVANT OF SERVANTS.
+
+     The personal service of Pius IX. as it existed in 1873, without
+     counting Swiss gensdarmes, palatine guards, &c., is thus described
+     by the author of _The Religion of Rome_, page 21.
+
+     "The pope for his own exclusive personal service has four palatine
+     cardinals, three prelates and a master, ten prelates of the private
+     chamber, amongst whom are a cup-bearer, and a keeper of the
+     wardrobe; then two hundred and fifteen domestic prelates. Then
+     follow two hundred and forty-nine supernumerary prelates of the
+     private chamber, four private chamberlains of the sword and cloak,
+     Roman patricians, one of whom is a master of Santo Ospizto.
+
+     "What things are these? what service do these private chamberlains
+     render? what is the use of this cloak and sword? We will undertake
+     to say that they do not know themselves. Let us proceed. Then come
+     next a quarter-master major, a correspondent general of the post,
+     and one hundred and thirty fresh private chamberlains of the sword
+     and cloak! Oh! it is a labor to count them! Next come two hundred
+     and sixty-five honorary monsignori _extra urbem_, six honorary
+     chamberlains of the sword and cloak, then eight private chaplains.
+     What a number of _private_ affairs must the pope have? Then
+     eighty-one honorary chaplains _extra urbem_; then--but enough,
+     enough, enough!
+
+     "No! not enough for the pope. Then come two private monsignori of
+     the tonsure--still private!--then eighteen supernumeraries: two
+     adjutants of the chamber, a private steward--again private!--then
+     nineteen ushers, participants, and twenty-four supernumeraries.
+     Then--ah! there are no more. Let us cast up those we have named;
+     they amount only to a bagatelle of one thousand and twenty-five
+     persons! And take note, that there are not included in this list
+     the palatine administration, and the tribunal of the majordomo, the
+     Swiss guards, the gensdarmes, etc., etc.
+
+     "If it be difficult for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of
+     heaven, how shall he who inhabits the Vatican enter there?--who has
+     treasures of all sorts, money, precious gems, precious and
+     countless works of art, vessels of silver and gold, and who has on
+     his head not one crown but three? who causes himself to be borne on
+     the shoulders of men; who causes them to kiss his feet; who has
+     millions of income, and a thousand persons to attend upon him?
+
+     "There is, in fact, nothing to be compared with the effrontery with
+     which the Vatican enacts the comedy of poverty. Yes, it has reason
+     to believe still in miracles; it is an actual miracle which the
+     Roman court works, in drawing from the pockets of the poor the
+     obolus necessary to buy them bread, to spend it before their faces
+     in Sybaritic luxury, in a palace of _The Thousand and One Nights_.
+     On the day of Epiphany, the Jesuits sent to the Vatican some
+     hundreds of women and children of the Trastevere, to carry to the
+     pope a gift of money. The children to succor the poverty of the
+     pope, who consumes on himself and household enough to maintain a
+     whole city, gave him the money which they had received in gifts
+     from their parents, and the women of the Trastevere, the few pence
+     that they had laid aside for the needs of their families.
+
+     "But what is most extraordinary is, that these women and children
+     who bestowed their charity on the pope, went to do it into halls
+     full of gold, marble, precious stones, velvet, silk, embroidery,
+     paintings, and statues, into the Vatican, that gigantic palace,
+     which occupies a space of fifteen hundred feet in length, and eight
+     hundred in breadth, with twenty courts, two hundred staircases,
+     eleven thousand rooms, galleries and halls full of treasures, and
+     the construction of which has cost hundreds of millions. These
+     children and these women passing through so much wealth never were
+     struck with the idea that Pius IX. ought to be something more than
+     a beggar; that there is no monarch in the world who has an abode
+     like the popes of Rome--the very sight of the gifts sent by all the
+     world to Pius IX. being enough to strike them dumb with
+     astonishment.
+
+     "Now these women and these children don't comprehend this, and here
+     is the miracle. This Pius IX. ought to go into the cottages of
+     these poor women and take them money, instead of their going to
+     carry it into the luxurious palace of the pope.
+
+     "The miracle becomes still greater every time that the Pope,
+     replying to those who bring money, talks of Jesus; for Jesus was in
+     a stable, not in a palace of eleven thousand rooms. Jesus would at
+     once have sent away the Swiss, the gensdarmes, the palatine guards,
+     the chamberlains private and not private, etc., and would have said
+     to the people of the Trastevere, and of the quarters of the poor:
+     'Come here into the Vatican, poor people, leave those wretched
+     cabins where you suffer so much; come to me; I have eleven thousand
+     rooms to offer you, one of which is quite enough for me, and so I
+     will divide these amongst those who have none.' This would have
+     been said by Christ, whom Pius IX. invokes so often, calling
+     himself His vicar or steward. But try, ye poor, to enter into the
+     Vatican, and you will find at once at the door a Swiss, who will
+     chase you away by blows of his halberd. He will let in anyone who
+     comes to bring money, but not a soul who comes to ask for it."--E.
+
+
+
+"Your fisherman must then have sent five or six hundred thousand men to
+put these orders in execution?"
+
+"Not at all, your excellency. Our holy master is not rich enough to keep
+ten thousand soldiers on foot: but he has five or six hundred thousand
+divine prophets dispersed in other countries. These prophets of various
+colors are, as they ought to be, supported at the expense of the people
+where they reside. They proclaim, from heaven, that my master may, with
+his keys, open and shut all locks, and particularly those of strong
+boxes. A Norman priest, who held the post of confident of this king's
+thoughts, convinced him he ought to obey, without questioning, the one
+hundred and one thoughts of my master; for you must know that one of the
+prerogatives of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains is never to err,
+whether he deigns to speak or deigns to write."
+
+"In faith," said Amazan, "this is a very singular man; I should be
+pleased to dine with him."
+
+"Were your excellency even a king, you could not eat at his table. All
+that he could do for you, would be to allow you to have one served by
+the side of his, but smaller and lower. But if you are inclined to have
+the honor of speaking to him, I will ask an audience for you on
+condition of the _buona mancia_, which you will be kind enough to give
+me." "Very readily," said the Gangarid. The violet-livery man bowed: "I
+will introduce you to-morrow," said he. "You must make three very low
+bows, and you must kiss the feet of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains."
+At this information Amazan burst into so violent a fit of laughing that
+he was almost choked; which, however, he surmounted, holding his sides,
+whilst the violent emotions of the risible muscles forced the tears down
+his cheeks, till he reached the inn, where the fit still continued upon
+him.
+
+At dinner, twenty beardless men and twenty violins produced a concert.
+He received the compliments of the greatest lords of the city during the
+remainder of the day; but from their extravagant actions, he was
+strongly tempted to throw two or three of these violet-colored gentry
+out of the window. He left with the greatest precipitation this city of
+the masters of the world, where young men were treated so whimsically,
+and where he found himself necessitated to kiss an old man's toe, as if
+his cheek were at the end of his foot.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+AN UNFORTUNATE ADVENTURE IN GAUL.
+
+
+In all the provinces through which Amazan passed, he remained ever
+faithful to the princess of Babylon, though incessantly enraged at the
+king of Egypt. This model of constancy at length arrived at the new
+capital of the Gauls. This city, like many others, had alternately
+submitted to barbarity, ignorance, folly, and misery. The first name it
+bore was Dirt and Mire; it then took that of Isis, from the worship of
+Isis, which had reached even here. Its first senate consisted of a
+company of watermen. It had long been in bondage, and submitted to the
+ravages of the heroes of the Seven Mountains; and some ages after, some
+other heroic thieves who came from the farther banks of the Rhine, had
+seized upon its little lands.
+
+Time, which changes all things, had formed it into a city, half of which
+was very noble and very agreeable, the other half somewhat barbarous and
+ridiculous. This was the emblem of its inhabitants. There were within
+its walls at least a hundred thousand people, who had no other
+employment than play and diversion. These idlers were the judges of
+those arts which the others cultivated. They were ignorant of all that
+passed at court; though they were only four short miles distant from it:
+but it seemed to them at least six hundred thousand miles off.
+Agreeableness in company, gaiety and frivolty, formed the important and
+sole considerations of their lives. They were governed like children,
+who are extravagantly supplied with gewgaws, to prevent their crying. If
+the horrors were discussed, which two centuries before had laid waste
+their country, or if those dreadful periods were recalled, when one half
+of the nation massacred the other for sophisms, they, indeed, said,
+"this was not well done;" then, presently, they fell to laughing again,
+or singing of catches.
+
+[Illustration: Kissing an old man's toe.]
+
+
+
+     KISSING THE POPE'S FOOT.
+
+     On page 181 of _The Religion of Rome_, the author asks the
+     questions: "Why does the pope cause his foot, or rather his
+     slipper, to be kissed? And when did this custom begin?" His
+     explanation is as follows:
+
+     "Theophilus Rainaldo and the Bollandist fathers, as well as other
+     Roman Catholic authors, tell us a gallant story of Pope St. Leo I.,
+     called the Great, which, if it were true, might show the origin of
+     the practice. They say that a young and very handsome devotee was
+     admitted on Easter day, to kiss the hand of Pope St. Leo after the
+     mass. The pope felt himself very much excited by this kiss, and
+     remembering the words of the Savior, 'If thy hand offend thee, cut
+     it off, and cast it from thee' (Matt. v. 30), he at once cut off
+     his hand. But as he was unable to perform mass with only one hand,
+     the people were in a great rage. The pope therefore prayed to God
+     to restore his hand, and God complied: his hand was again united to
+     the stump. And to avoid such dilemmas in future, Leo ordered that
+     thereafter no one should kiss his hand, but only his foot. A very
+     little common sense is sufficient to make us understand that such
+     was not the origin of this custom.
+
+     "The first who invented this degrading act of kissing feet was the
+     Emperor Caligula. He, in his quality of Pontifex Maximus, ordered
+     the people to kiss his foot. Succeeding emperors refused such an
+     act of base slavery. But Heliogabalus, as emperor, and Pontifex
+     Maximus, again introduced it. After him, the custom fell into
+     disuse; but the Christian emperors retaining some of the wicked
+     fables given to the pagan emperors, permitted the kissing of the
+     foot as a compliment on the presentation of petitions. We may cite
+     a few instances. The acts of the Council of Chalcedon say that
+     Fazius, Bishop of Tyre, in his petition to the emperor, said, 'I
+     supplicate, prostrate, at your immaculate and divine feet.'
+     Bassianus, Bishop of Ephesus, says, 'I prostrate myself at your
+     feet.' Eunomius, Bishop of Nicomedia, says, 'I prostrate myself
+     before the footsteps of your power.' The Abbot Saba says, 'I am
+     come to adore the footsteps of your piety. Prococius, in his
+     _History of Mysteries_, says that the Emperor Justinian, at the
+     instigation of the proud Theodora, his wife, was the first amongst
+     the Christian emperors who ordered prostrations before himself and
+     his wife, and the kissing of their feet.
+
+     "The ecclesiastics, the bishops, and, finally, the popes, were not
+     exempt from paying this homage to the emperors. The prelates of
+     Syria held this language to the Emperor Justinian. 'The pope of
+     holy memory, and the archbishop of ancient Rome, has come to your
+     pious conversation, and has been honored by your holy feet.' Pope
+     Gregory I., writing to Theodorus, the physician of the Emperor
+     Mauritius, in the year A.D. 593, said: 'My tongue cannot
+     sufficiently express the great benefits that I have received from
+     God Almighty and from our great emperor, for which I can only love
+     him and kiss his feet.' In the year A.D. 681 Pope Agathon, sending
+     his legates to the sixth council, writes to the Emperor Constantine
+     Pogonatus: 'As prostrate in your presence, and embracing your feet,
+     I implore you,' etc. In the seventh century, therefore, not only
+     did the popes not have their feet kissed, but they themselves were
+     obliged to kiss those of the emperor. Becoming sovereigns of Rome,
+     they soon began to adopt the same custom. Pope Eugenius II., who
+     died in 827, was the first who made it the law to kiss the papal
+     foot. From that time it was necessary to kneel before the popes.
+     Gregory VII. ordered all princes to submit to this practice.
+
+     "From what we have said it is clear that the origin of feet-kissing
+     was entirely pagan and idolatrous. That this custom is in total
+     contradiction to the precepts of the Gospel would be a waste of
+     words to assert. Jesus Christ was so far from desiring people to
+     kiss his feet, that he set himself on one occasion to wash the feet
+     of his disciples. These are the words of the Gospel: 'He riseth
+     from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel and
+     girded himself. After that he poured water into a basin, and began
+     to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel
+     wherewith he was girded.'
+
+     "This act of Jesus Christ is in perfect keeping (John xiii. 4.5)
+     with all his precepts, with his inculcations of modesty, equality,
+     humility, and with his condemnation of those who set themselves
+     above others. Who would have said that a day would come in which
+     those claiming to be his vicars should cause people to kiss their
+     feet? How thoroughly has Catholicism borrowed from paganism its
+     idolatries? And notwithstanding this flagrant violation of the
+     religion of Christ, what a herd of people go and press their lips
+     on the slipper of the pope, as was done formerly to the Roman
+     emperors, the pontifices maximi, that is to say, the priests of
+     Jove."--E.
+
+
+
+
+In proportion as the idlers were polished, agreeable, and amiable, it
+was observed that there was a greater and more shocking contrast between
+them and those who were engaged in business.
+
+Among the latter, or such as pretended so to be, there was a gang of
+melancholy fanatics, whose absurdity and knavery divided their
+character,--whose appearance alone diffused misery,--and who would have
+overturned the world, had they been able to gain a little credit. But
+the nation of idlers, by dancing and singing, forced them into obscurity
+in their caverns, as the warbling birds drive the croaking bats back to
+their holes and ruins.
+
+A smaller number of those who were occupied, were the preservers of
+ancient barbarous customs, against which nature, terrified, loudly
+exclaimed. They consulted nothing but their worm-eaten registers. If
+they there discovered a foolish or horrid custom, they considered it as
+a sacred law. It was from this vile practice of not daring to think for
+themselves, but extracting their ideas from the ruins of those times
+when no one thought at all, that in the metropolis of pleasure there
+still remained some shocking manners. Hence it was that there was no
+proportion between crimes and punishments. A thousand deaths were
+sometimes inflicted upon an innocent victim, to make him acknowledge a
+crime he had not committed.
+
+The extravagancies of youth were punished with the same severity as
+murder or parricide. The idlers screamed loudly at these exhibitions,
+and the next day thought no more about them, but were buried in the
+contemplation of some new fashion.
+
+This people saw a whole age elapse, in which the fine arts attained a
+degree of perfection that far surpassed the most sanguine hopes.
+Foreigners then repaired thither, as they did to Babylon, to admire the
+great monuments of architecture, the wonders of gardening, the sublime
+efforts of sculpture and painting. They were charmed with a species of
+music that reached the heart without astonishing the ears.
+
+True poetry, that is to say, such as is natural and harmonious, that
+which addresses the heart as well as the mind, was unknown to this
+nation before this happy period. New kinds of eloquence displayed
+sublime beauties. The theatres in particular reëchoed with masterpieces
+that no other nation ever approached. In a word, good taste prevailed in
+every profession to that degree, that there were even good writers among
+the Druids.
+
+So many laurels that had branched even to the skies, soon withered in an
+exhausted soil. There remained but a very small number, whose leaves
+were of a pale dying verdure. This decay was occasioned by the facility
+of producing; laziness preventing good productions, and by a satiety of
+the brilliant, and a taste for the whimsical. Vanity protected arts that
+brought back times of barbarity; and this same vanity, in persecuting
+persons of real merit, forced them to quit their country. The hornets
+banished the bees.
+
+There were scarce any real arts, scarce any real genius, talent now
+consisted in reasoning right or wrong upon the merit of the last age.
+The dauber of a sign-post criticised with an air of sagacity the works
+of the greatest painters; and the blotters of paper disfigured the works
+of the greatest writers. Ignorance and bad taste had other daubers in
+their pay. The same things were repeated in a hundred volumes under
+different titles. Every work was either a dictionary or a pamphlet. A
+Druid gazetteer wrote twice a week the obscure annals of an unknown
+people possessed with the devil, and of celestial prodigies operated in
+garrets by little beggars of both sexes. Other Ex-Druids, dressed in
+black, ready to die with rage and hunger, set forth their complaints in
+a hundred different writings, that they were no longer allowed to cheat
+mankind--this privilege being conferred on some goats clad in grey; and
+some Arch-Druids were employed in printing defamatory libels.
+
+Amazan was quite ignorant of all this, and even if he had been
+acquainted with it, he would have given himself very little concern
+about it, having his head filled with nothing but the princess of
+Babylon, the king of Egypt, and the inviolable vow he had made to
+despise all female coquetry in whatever country his despair should drive
+him.
+
+The gaping ignorant mob, whose curiosity exceeds all the bounds of
+nature and reason, for a long time thronged about his unicorns. The more
+sensible women forced open the doors of his _hotel_ to contemplate his
+person.
+
+[Illustration: Gaiety and frivolity.--"There are within its walls at
+least a hundred thousand people, who had no other employment than play
+and diversion."]
+
+He at first testified some desire of visiting the court; but some of the
+idlers, who constituted good company and casually went thither, informed
+him that it was quite out of fashion, that times were greatly changed,
+and that all amusements were confined to the city. He was invited that
+very night to sup with a lady whose sense and talents had reached
+foreign climes, and who had traveled in some countries through which
+Amazan had passed. This lady gave him great pleasure, as well as the
+society he met at her house. Here reigned a decent liberty, gaiety
+without tumult, silence without pedantry, and wit without asperity. He
+found that _good company_ was not quite ideal, though the title was
+frequently usurped by pretenders. The next day he dined in a society far
+less amiable, but much more voluptuous. The more he was satisfied with
+the guests, the more they were pleased with him. He found his soul
+soften and dissolve, like the aromatics of his country, which gradually
+melt in a moderate heat, and exhale in delicious perfumes.
+
+After dinner he was conducted to a place of public entertainment which
+was enchanting; but condemned, however, by the Druids, because it
+deprived them of their auditors, which, therefore, excited their
+jealousy. The representation here consisted of agreeable verses,
+delightful songs, dances which expressed the movements of the soul, and
+perspectives that charmed the eye in deceiving it. This kind of pastime,
+which included so many kinds, was known only under a foreign name. It
+was called an _Opera_, which formerly signified, in the language of the
+Seven Mountains, work, care, occupation, industry, enterprise, business.
+This exhibition enchanted him. A female singer, in particular, charmed
+him by her melodious voice, and the graces that accompanied her. This
+child of genius, after the performance, was introduced to him by his new
+friends. He presented her with a handful of diamonds; for which she was
+so grateful, that she could not leave him all the rest of the day. He
+supped with her and her companions, and during the delightful repast he
+forgot his sobriety, and became heated and oblivious with wine. What an
+instance of human frailty!
+
+The beautiful princess of Babylon arrived at this juncture, with her
+phœnix, her chambermaid Irla, and her two hundred Gangaridian
+cavaliers mounted on their unicorns. It was a long while before the
+gates were opened. She immediately asked, if the handsomest, the most
+courageous, the most sensible, and the most faithful of men was still in
+that city? The magistrates readily concluded that she meant Amazan. She
+was conducted to his _hotel_. How great was the palpitation of her
+heart!--the powerful operation of the tender passion. Her whole soul was
+penetrated with inexpressible joy, to see once more in her lover the
+model of constancy. Nothing could prevent her entering his chamber; the
+curtains were open; and she saw the beautiful Amazan asleep and
+stupefied with drink.
+
+Formosanta expressed her grief with such screams as made the house echo.
+She swooned into the arms of Irla. As soon as she had recovered her
+senses, she retired from this fatal chamber with grief blended with
+rage.
+
+"Oh! just heaven; oh, powerful Oromasdes!" cried the beautiful princess
+of Babylon, bathed in tears. "By whom, and for whom am I thus betrayed?
+He that could reject for my sake so many princesses, to abandon me for
+the company of a strolling Gaul! No! I can never survive this affront."
+
+"This is the disposition of all young people," said Irla to her, "from
+one end of the world to the other. Were they enamoured with a beauty
+descended from heaven, they would at certain moments forget her
+entirely."
+
+"It is done," said the princess, "I will never see him again whilst I
+live. Let us depart this instant, and let the unicorns be harnessed."
+
+The phœnix conjured her to stay at least till Amazan awoke, that he
+might speak with him.
+
+"He does not deserve it," said the princess. "You would cruelly offend
+me. He would think that I had desired you to reproach him, and that I am
+willing to be reconciled to him. If you love me, do not add this injury
+to the insult he has offered me."
+
+The phœnix, who after all owed his life to the daughter of the king
+of Babylon, could not disobey her. She set out with all her attendants.
+
+"Whither are you going?" said Irla to her.
+
+"I do not know," replied the princess; "we will take the first road we
+find. Provided I fly from Amazan for ever, I am satisfied."
+
+[Illustration: Ancient barbarous customs.]
+
+     ANCIENT BARBAROUS CUSTOMS.
+
+     William Howitt, in a note to his translation of _The Religion of
+     Rome_, (page 19), points out very clearly the evils which have
+     resulted to man from the sinister teaching of the upholders of
+     ancient barbarous customs:--
+
+     "If anyone would satisfy himself of what Popery is at its centre;
+     what it does where it has had its fullest sway, let him make a tour
+     into the mountains in the vicinity of Rome, and see in a country
+     exceedingly beautiful by nature, what is the condition of an
+     extremely industrious population. In the rock towns of the Alban,
+     Sabine, and Volscian hills, you find a swarming throng of men,
+     women, and children, asses, pigs, and hens, all groveling in
+     inconceivable filth, squalor, and poverty. Filth in the streets, in
+     the houses, everywhere; fleas, fever, and small-pox, and the
+     densest ignorance darkening minds of singular natural cleverness. A
+     people brilliant in intellect, totally uneducated, and steeped in
+     the grossest superstition.
+
+     "These dens of dirt, disease and, till lately, or brigandage, are
+     the evidences of a thousand years of priestly government! They, and
+     the country around them, are chiefly the property of the great
+     princely and ducal families which sprung out of the papal neposm of
+     Rome, and have by successive popes, their founders, been loaded
+     with the wealth of the nation. These families live in Rome, in
+     their great palaces, amidst every luxury and splendor, surrounded
+     by the finest works of art, and leave their tenants and dependents
+     without any attention from them. Some steward or middleman screws
+     the last soldo from them for rent; and when crops fail, lifts not a
+     finger to alleviate their misery.
+
+     "And the Papal Government, too--a government pretendedly based on
+     the direct ordination of Him who went about doing good--what has it
+     done for them? Nothing but debauch their minds with idle ceremonies
+     and unscriptural dogmas,--legends, priests, monks and beggary! The
+     whole land is a land of beggars, made so by inculcated notions of a
+     spurious charity. Every countrywoman, many men, and every child,
+     boy or girl, are literally beggars--beggars importunate,
+     unappeasable, irrepressible! What a condition of mind for a
+     naturally noble and capable people to be reduced to by--a
+     religion!"
+
+
+
+The phœnix, who was wiser than Formosanta, because he was divested of
+passion, consoled her upon the road. He gently insinuated to her that it
+was shocking to punish one's self for the faults of another; that Amazan
+had given her proofs sufficiently striking and numerous of his fidelity,
+so that she should forgive him for having forgotten himself for one
+moment in social company; that this was the only time in which he had
+been wanting of the grace of Oromasdes; that it would render him only
+the more constant in love and virtue for the future; that the desire of
+expiating his fault would raise him beyond himself; that it would be the
+means of increasing her happiness; that many great princesses before her
+had forgiven such slips, and had had no reason to be sorry afterward;
+and he was so thoroughly possessed of the art of persuasion, that
+Formosanta's mind grew more calm and peaceable. She was now sorry she
+had set out so soon. She thought her unicorns went too fast, but she did
+not dare return. Great was the conflict between her desire of forgiving
+and that of showing her rage--between her love and vanity. However, her
+unicorns pursued their pace; and she traversed the world, according to
+the prediction of her father's oracle.
+
+When Amazan awoke, he was informed of the arrival and departure of
+Formosanta and the phœnix. He was also told of the rage and
+distraction of the princess, and that she had sworn never to forgive
+him.
+
+"Then," said he, "there is nothing left for me to do, but follow her,
+and kill myself at her feet."
+
+The report of this adventure drew together his festive companions, who
+all remonstrated with him. They said that he had much better stay with
+them; that nothing could equal the pleasant life they led in the centre
+of arts and refined delicate pleasures; that many strangers, and even
+kings, preferred such an agreeable enchanting repose to their country
+and their thrones. Moreover, his vehicle was broken, and another was
+being made for him according to the newest fashion; that the best tailor
+of the whole city had already cut out for him a dozen suits in the
+latest style; that the most vivacious, amiable, and fashionable ladies,
+at whose houses dramatic performances were represented, had each
+appointed a day to give him a regale. The girl from the opera was in the
+meanwhile drinking her chocolate, laughing, singing, and ogling the
+beautiful Amazan--who by this time clearly perceived she had no more
+sense than a goose.
+
+A sincerity, cordiality, and frankness, as well as magnanimity and
+courage, constituted the character of this great prince, he related his
+travels and misfortunes to his friends. They knew that he was
+cousin-german to the princess. They were informed of the fatal kiss she
+had given the king of Egypt. "Such little tricks," said they, "are often
+forgiven between relatives, otherwise one's whole life would pass in
+perpetual uneasiness."
+
+Nothing could shake his design of pursuing Formosanta; but his carriage
+not being ready, he was compelled to remain three days longer among the
+idlers, who were still feasting and merry-making. He at length took his
+leave of them, by embracing them and making them accept some of his
+diamonds that were the best mounted, and recommending to them a
+constant pursuit of frivolity and pleasure, since
+they were thereby made more agreeable and happy.
+
+"The Germans," said he, "are the greyheads of Europe; the people of
+Albion are men formed; the inhabitants of Gaul are the children,--and I
+love to play with children."
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+AMAZAN AND FORMOSANTA BECOME RECONCILED.
+
+
+The guides had no difficulty in following the route the princess had
+taken. There was nothing else talked of but her and her large bird. All
+the inhabitants were still in a state of fascination. The banks of the
+Loire, of the Dordogue--the Garonne, and the Gironde, still echoed with
+acclamation.
+
+When Amazan reached the foot of the Pyrenees, the magistrates and Druids
+of the country made him dance, whether he would or not, a _Tambourin_;
+but as soon as he cleared the Pyrenees, nothing presented itself that
+was either gay or joyous. If he here and there heard a peasant sing,
+it was a doleful ditty. The inhabitants stalked with much gravity,
+having a few strung beads and a girted poniard. The nation dressed in
+black, and appeared to be in mourning.
+
+[Illustration: Dancing a tambourin.--"When Amazan reached the foot of
+the Pyrenees, the magistrates and druids of the country made him dance,
+whether he would or not, a Tambourin; but as soon as he cleared the
+Pyrenees, nothing presented itself that was either gay or joyous."]
+
+If Amazan's servants asked passengers any questions, they were answered
+by signs; if they went into an inn, the host acquainted his guests in
+three words, that there was nothing in the house, but that the things
+they so pressingly wanted might be found a few miles off.
+
+When these votaries to taciturnity were asked if they had seen the
+beautiful princess of Babylon pass, they answered with less brevity than
+usual: "We have seen her--she is not so handsome--there are no beauties
+that are not tawny--she displays a bosom of alabaster, which is the most
+disgusting thing in the world, and which is scarce known in our
+climate."
+
+Amazan advanced toward the province watered by the Betis. The Tyrians
+discovered this country about twelve thousand years ago, about the time
+they discovered the great Atlantic Isle, inundated so many centuries
+after. The Tyrians cultivated Betica, which the natives of the country
+had never done, being of opinion that it was not their place to meddle
+with anything, and that their neighbors, the Gauls, should come and reap
+their harvests. The Tyrians had brought with them some Palestines, or
+Jews, who, from that time, have wandered through every clime where money
+was to be gained. The Palestines, by extraordinary usury, at fifty per
+cent., had possessed themselves of almost all the riches of the country.
+This made the people of Betica imagine the Palestines were sorcerers;
+and all those who were accused of witchcraft were burnt, without mercy,
+by a company of Druids, who were called the Inquisitors, or the
+_Anthropokaies_. These priests immediately put their victims in a
+masquerade habit, seized upon their effects, and devoutly repeated the
+Palestines' own prayers, whilst burning them by a slow fire, _por l'amor
+de Dios_.
+
+The princess of Babylon alighted in that city which has since been
+called Sevilla. Her design was to embark upon the Betis to return by
+Tyre to Babylon, and see again king Belus, her father; and forget, if
+possible, her perdious lover--or, at least, to ask him in marriage. She
+sent for two Palestines, who transacted all the business of the court.
+They were to furnish her with three ships. The phœnix made all the
+necessary contracts with them, and settled the price after some little
+dispute.
+
+The hostess was a great devotee, and her husband, who was no less
+religious, was a Familiar: that is to say, a spy of the Druid
+Inquisitors or _Anthropokaies_.
+
+He failed not to inform them, that in his house was a sorceress and two
+Palestines, who were entering into a compact with the devil, disguised
+like a large gilt bird.
+
+The Inquisitors having learned that the lady possessed a large quantity
+of diamonds, swore point blank that she was a sorceress. They waited
+till night to imprison the two hundred cavaliers and the unicorns,
+(which slept in very extensive stables), for the Inquisitors are
+cowards.
+
+Having strongly barricaded the gates, they seized the princess and Irla;
+but they could not catch the phœnix, who flew away with great
+swiftness. He did not doubt of meeting with Amazan upon the road from
+Gaul to Sevilla.
+
+He met him upon the frontiers of Betica, and acquainted him with the
+disaster that had befallen the princess.
+
+Amazan was struck speechless with rage. He armed himself with a steel
+cuirass damasquined with gold, a lance twelve feet long, two javelins,
+and an edged sword called the Thunderer, which at one single stroke
+would rend trees, rocks, and Druids. He covered his beautiful head with
+a golden casque, shaded with heron and ostrich feathers. This was the
+ancient armor of Magog, which his sister Aldea gave him when upon his
+journey in Scythia. The few attendants he had with him all mounted their
+unicorns.
+
+Amazan, in embracing his dear phœnix, uttered only these melancholy
+expressions: "I am guilty! Had I not dined with the child of genius from
+the opera, in the city of the idlers, the princess of Babylon would not
+have been in this alarming situation. Let us fly to the
+_Anthropokaies_." He presently entered Sevilla. Fifteen hundred
+Alguazils guarded the gates of the inclosure in which the two hundred
+Gangarids and their unicorns were shut up, without being allowed
+anything to eat. Preparations were already made for sacrificing the
+princess of Babylon, her chambermaid Irla, and the two rich Palestines.
+
+The high _Anthropokaie_, surrounded by his subaltern _Anthropokaies_,
+was already seated upon his sacred tribunal. A crowd of Sevillians,
+wearing strung beads at their girdles, joined their two hands, without
+uttering a syllable, when the beautiful Princess, the maid Irla, and the
+two Palestines were brought forth, with their hands tied behind their
+backs and dressed in masquerade habits.
+
+The phœnix entered the prison by a dormer window, whilst the
+Gangarids began to break open the doors. The invincible Amazan shattered
+them without. They all sallied forth armed, upon their unicorns, and
+Amazan put himself at their head. He had no difficulty in overthrowing
+the Alguazils, the Familiars, or the priests called _Anthropokaies_.
+Each unicorn pierced dozens at a time. The thundering Amazan cut to
+pieces all he met. The people in black cloaks and dirty frize ran away,
+always keeping fast hold of their blest beads, _por l'amor de Dios_.
+
+Amazan collared the high Inquisitor upon his tribunal, and threw him
+upon the pile, which was prepared about forty paces distant; and he also
+cast upon it the other Inquisitors, one after the other. He then
+prostrated himself at Formosanta's feet. "Ah! how amiable you are," said
+she; "and how I should adore you, if you had not forsaken me for the
+company of an opera singer."
+
+Whilst Amazan was making his peace with the princess, whilst his
+Gangarids cast upon the pile the bodies of all the _Anthropokaies_, and
+the flames ascended to the clouds, Amazan saw an army that approached
+him at a distance. An aged monarch, with a crown upon his head, advanced
+upon a car drawn by eight mules harnessed with ropes. An hundred other
+cars followed. They were accompanied by grave looking men in black
+cloaks or frize, mounted upon very fine horses. A multitude of people,
+with greasy hair, followed silently on foot.
+
+Amazan immediately drew up his Gangarids about him, and advanced with
+his lance couched. As soon as the king perceived him, he took off his
+crown, alighted from his car, and embraced Amazan's stirrup, saying to
+him: "Man sent by the gods, you are the avenger of human kind, the
+deliverer of my country. These sacred monsters, of which you have
+purged the earth, were my masters, in the name of the Old Man of the
+Seven Mountains. I was forced to submit to their criminal power. My
+people would have deserted me, if I had only been inclined to moderate
+their abominable crimes. From this moment I breathe, I reign, and am
+indebted to you for it."
+
+He afterward respectfully kissed Formosanta's hand, and entreated her to
+get into his coach (drawn by eight mules) with Amazan, Irla, and the
+phœnix.
+
+The two Palestine bankers, who still remained prostrate on the ground
+through fear and terror, now raised their heads. The troop of unicorns
+followed the king of Betica into his palace.
+
+As the dignity of a king who reigned over a people of characteristic
+brevity, required that his mules should go at a very slow pace, Amazan
+and Formosanta had time to relate to him their adventures. He also
+conversed with the phœnix, admiring and frequently embracing him. He
+easily comprehended how brutal and barbarous the people of the west
+should be considered, who ate animals, and did not understand their
+language; that the Gangarids alone had preserved the nature and dignity
+of primitive man; but he particularly agreed, that the most barbarous of
+mortals were the _Anthropokaies_, of whom Amazan had just purged the
+earth. He incessantly blessed and thanked him. The beautiful Formosanta
+had already forgotten the affair in Gaul, and had her soul filled with
+nothing but the valor of the hero who had preserved her life. Amazan
+being made acquainted with the innocence of the embrace she had given to
+the king of Egypt, and being told of the resurrection of the phœnix,
+tasted the purest joy, and was intoxicated with the most violent love.
+
+They dined at the palace, but had a very indifferent repast. The cooks
+of Betica were the worst in Europe. Amazan advised the king to send for
+some from Gaul. The king's musicians performed, during the repast, that
+celebrated air which has since been called _the Follies of Spain_. After
+dinner, matters of business came upon the carpet.
+
+The king enquired of the handsome Amazan, the beautiful Formosanta, and
+the charming phœnix, what they proposed doing. "For my part," said
+Amazan, "my intention is to return to Babylon, of which I am the
+presumptive heir, and to ask of my uncle Belus the hand of my
+cousin-german, the incomparable Formosanta."
+
+"My design certainly is," said the princess, "never to separate from my
+cousin-germain. But I imagine he will agree with me, that I should
+return first to my father, because he only gave me leave to go upon a
+pilgrimage to Bassora, and I have wandered all over the world."
+
+"For my part," said the phœnix, "I will follow every where these two
+tender, generous lovers."
+
+"You are in the right," said the king of Betica; "but your return to
+Babylon is not so easy as you imagine. I receive daily intelligence from
+that country by Tyrian ships, and my Palestine bankers, who correspond
+with all the nations of the earth. The people are all in arms toward the
+Euphrates and the Nile. The king of Scythia claims the inheritance of
+his wife, at the head of three hundred thousand warriors on horseback.
+The kings of Egypt and India are also laying waste the banks of the
+Tygris and the Euphrates, each at the head of three hundred thousand
+men, to revenge themselves for being laughed at. The king of Ethiopia is
+ravaging Egypt with three hundred thousand men, whilst the king of Egypt
+is absent from his country. And the king of Babylon has as yet only six
+hundred thousand men to defend himself.
+
+"I acknowledge to you," continued the king, "when I hear of those
+prodigious armies which are disembogued from the east, and their
+astonishing magnificence--when I compare them to my trifling bodies of
+twenty or thirty thousand soldiers, which it is so difficult to clothe
+and feed; I am inclined to think the eastern subsisted long before the
+western hemisphere. It seems as if we sprung only yesterday from chaos
+and barbarity."
+
+"Sire," said Amazan, "the last comers frequently outstrip those who
+first began the career. It is thought in my country that man was first
+created in India; but this I am not certain of."
+
+"And," said the king of Betica to the phœnix, "what do you think?"
+
+"Sire," replied the phœnix, "I am as yet too young to have any
+knowledge concerning antiquity. I have lived only about twenty-seven
+thousand years; but my father, who had lived five times that age, told
+me he had learned from his father, that the eastern country had always
+been more populous and rich than the others. It had been transmitted to
+him from his ancestors, that the generation of all animals had begun
+upon the banks of the Ganges. For my part, said he, I have not the
+vanity to be of this opinion. I cannot believe that the foxes of Albion,
+the marmots of the Alps, and the wolves of Gaul, are descended from my
+country. In the like manner, I do not believe that the firs and oaks of
+your country descended from the palm and cocoa trees of India."
+
+"But from whence are we descended, then?" said the king.
+
+"I do not know," said the phœnix; "all I want to know is, whither the
+beautiful princess of Babylon and my dear Amazan may repair."
+
+"I very much question," said the king, "whether with his two hundred
+unicorns he will be able to destroy so many armies of three hundred
+thousand men each."
+
+"Why not?" said Amazan. The king of Betica felt the force of this
+sublime question, "Why not?" but he imagined sublimity alone was not
+sufficient against innumerable armies.
+
+"I advise you," said he, "to seek the king of Ethiopia. I am related to
+that black prince through my Palestines. I will give you recommendatory
+letters to him. As he is at enmity with the king of Egypt, he will be
+but too happy to be strengthened by your alliance. I can assist you with
+two thousand sober, brave men; and it will depend upon yourself to
+engage as many more of the people who reside, or rather skip, about the
+foot of the Pyrenees, and who are called Vasques or Vascons. Send one of
+your warriors upon an unicorn, with a few diamonds. There is not a
+Vascon that will not quit the castle, that is, the thatched cottage of
+his father, to serve you. They are indefatigable, courageous, and
+agreeable; and whilst you wait their arrival, we will give you
+festivals, and prepare your ships. I cannot too much acknowledge the
+service you have done me."
+
+Amazan realized the happiness of having recovered Formosanta, and
+enjoyed in tranquillity her conversation, and all the charms of
+reconciled love,--which are almost equal to a growing passion.
+
+A troop of proud, joyous Vascons soon arrived, dancing a _tambourin_.
+The haughty and grave Betican troops were now ready. The old sun-burnt
+king tenderly embraced the two lovers. He sent great quantities of arms,
+beds, chests, boards, black clothes, onions, sheep, fowls, flour, and
+particularly garlic, on board the ships, and wished them a happy voyage,
+invariable love, and many victories.
+
+Proud Carthage was not then a sea-port. There were at that time only a
+few Numidians there, who dried fish in the sun. They coasted along
+Bizacenes, the Syrthes, the fertile banks where since arose Cyrene and
+the great Chersonese.
+
+They at length arrived toward the first mouth of the sacred Nile. It was
+at the extremity of this fertile land that the ships of all commercial
+nations were already received in the port of Canope, without knowing
+whether the god Canope had founded this port, or whether the inhabitants
+had manufactured the god--whether the star Canope had given its name to
+the city, or whether the city had bestowed it upon the star. All that
+was known of this matter was, that the city and the star were both very
+ancient; and this is all that can be known of the origin of things, of
+what nature soever they may be.
+
+It was here that the king of Ethiopia, having ravaged all Egypt, saw the
+invincible Amazan and the adorable Formosanta come on shore. He took one
+for the god of war, and the other for the goddess of beauty. Amazan
+presented to him the letter of recommendation from the king of Spain.
+The king of Ethiopia immediately entertained them with some admirable
+festivals, according to the indispensable custom of heroic times. They
+then conferred about their expedition to exterminate the three hundred
+thousand men of the king of Egypt, the three hundred thousand of the
+emperor of the Indies, and the three hundred thousand of the great Khan
+of the Scythians, who laid siege to the immense, proud, voluptuous city
+of Babylon.
+
+The two hundred Spaniards, whom Amazan had brought with him, said that
+they had nothing to do with the king of Ethiopia's succoring Babylon;
+that it was sufficient their king had ordered them to go and deliver it;
+and that they were formidable enough for this expedition.
+
+The Vascons said they had performed many other exploits; that they
+would alone defeat the Egyptians, the Indians, and the Scythians; and
+that they would not march unless the Spaniards were placed in the
+rear-guard.
+
+The two hundred Gangarids could not refrain from laughing at the
+pretensions of their allies, and they maintained that with only one
+hundred unicorns, they could put to flight all the kings of the earth.
+The beautiful Formosanta appeased them by her prudence, and by her
+enchanting discourse. Amazan introduced to the black monarch his
+Gangarids, his unicorns, his Spaniards, his Vascons, and his beautiful
+bird.
+
+Every thing was soon ready to march by Memphis, Heliopolis, Arsinoe,
+Petra, Artemitis, Sora, and Apamens, to attack the three kings, and to
+prosecute this memorable war, before which all the wars ever waged by
+man sink into insignificance.
+
+Fame with her hundred tongues has proclaimed the victories Amazan gained
+over the three kings, with his Spaniards, his Vascons, and his unicorns.
+He restored the beautiful Formosanta to her father. He set at liberty
+all his mistress's train, whom the king of Egypt had reduced to slavery.
+The great Khan of the Scythians declared himself his vassal; and his
+marriage was confirmed with princess Aldea. The invincible and generous
+Amazan, was acknowledged the heir to the kingdom of Babylon, and entered
+the city in triumph with the phœnix, in the presence of a hundred
+tributary kings. The festival of his marriage far surpassed that which
+king Belus had given. The bull Apis was served up roasted at table. The
+kings of Egypt and India were cup-bearers to the married pair; and these
+nuptials were celebrated by five hundred illustrious poets of Babylon.
+
+Oh, Muses! daughters of heaven, who are constantly invoked at the
+beginning of a work, I only implore you at the end. It is needless to
+reproach me with saying grace, without having said _benedicite_. But,
+Muses! you will not be less my patronesses. Inspire, I pray you, the
+_Ecclesiastical Gazetteer_, the illustrious orator of the
+_Convulsionnaires_, to say every thing possible against _The Princess of
+Babylon_, in order that the work may be condemned by the Sorbonne, and,
+therefore, be universally read. And prevent, I beseech you, O chaste and
+noble Muses, any supplemental scribblers spoiling, by their fables, the
+truths I have taught mortals in this faithful narrative.
+
+[Illustration: Clio, the Muse of History. From a painting by Antonio
+Canova.--"Prevent, I beseech you, O chaste and noble Muses, any
+supplemental scribblers spoiling, by their fables, the truths I have
+taught mortals in this faithful narrative."]
+
+[Illustration: The Tax Collector.]
+
+
+
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+NATIONAL POVERTY.
+
+
+An old man, who is forever _pitying the present times, and extolling the
+past_, was saying to me: "Friend, France is not so rich as it was under
+Henry the IVth."
+
+"And why?"
+
+"Because the lands are not so well cultivated; because hands are wanting
+for the cultivation; and because the day-laborer having raised the price
+of his work, many land owners let their inheritances he fallow."
+
+"Whence comes this scarcity of hands?"
+
+"From this, that whoever finds in himself anything of a spirit of
+industry, takes up the trades of embroiderer, chaser, watchmaker, silk
+weaver, attorney, or divine. It is also because the revocation of the
+Edict of Nantes has left a great void in the kingdom; because nuns and
+beggars of all kinds have greatly multiplied; because the people in
+general avoid as much as possible the hard labor of cultivation, for
+which we are born by God's destination, and which we have rendered
+ignominious by our own opinions; so very wise are we!
+
+"Another cause of our poverty lies in our new wants. We pay our
+neighbors four millions of livres on one article, and five or six upon
+another, such, for example, as a stinking powder for stuffing up our
+noses brought from America. Our coffee, tea, chocolate, cochineal,
+indigo, spices, cost us above sixty millions a year. All these were
+unknown to us in the reign of Henry the IVth, except the spices, of
+which, however, the consumption was not so great as it is now. We burn a
+hundred times more wax-lights than were burnt then; and get more than
+the half of the wax from foreign countries, because we neglect our own
+hives. We see a hundred times more diamonds in the ears, round the
+necks, and on the hands of our city ladies of Paris, and other great
+towns, than were worn by all the ladies of Henry the IVth's court, the
+Queen included. Almost all the superfluities are necessarily paid for
+with ready specie.
+
+"Observe especially that we pay to foreigners above fifteen millions of
+annuities on the _Hôtel-de-Ville_; and that Henry the IVth, on his
+accession, having found two millions of debt in all on this imaginary
+_Hôtel_, very wisely paid off a part, to ease the state of this burden.
+
+"Consider that our civil wars were the occasion of the treasures of
+Mexico being poured into the kingdom, when Don Philip _el Discreto_ took
+it into his head to buy France, and that since that time, our foreign
+wars have eased us of a good half of our money.
+
+"These are partly the causes of our poverty; a poverty which we hide
+under varnished ceilings, or with the help of our dealers in fashion. We
+are poor with taste. There are some officers of revenue, there are
+contractors or jobbers, there are merchants, very rich; their children,
+their sons-in-law, are also very rich, but the nation in general is
+unfortunately not so."
+
+This old man's discourse, well or ill grounded, made a deep impression
+on me; for the curate of my parish, who had always had a friendship for
+me, had taught me a little of geometry and of history: and I begin to
+reflect a little, which is very rare in my province. I do not know
+whether he was right or not in every thing, but being very poor, I could
+very easily believe that I had a great many companions of my misery.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+DISASTER OF THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.
+
+
+I very readily make known to the _universe_ that I have a landed estate
+which would yield me forty crowns a year, were it not for the tax laid
+on it.
+
+There came forth several edicts from certain persons, who, having
+nothing better to do, govern the state at their fire-side, the preamble
+of these edicts was, "that the legislative and executive was born, _jure
+divino_, the co-proprietor of my land;" and that I owe it at least the
+half of what I possess. The enormity of this legislative and executive
+power made me bless myself. What would it be if that power which
+presides over "the essential order of society," were to take the whole
+of my little estate? The one is still more divine than the other.
+
+The comptroller general knows that I used to pay, in all, but twelve
+livres; that even this was a heavy burden on me, and that I should have
+sunk under it, if God had not given me the talent of making wicker
+baskets, which helped to carry me through my trials. But how should I,
+on a sudden, be able to give the king twenty crowns?
+
+The new ministers also said in their preamble, that it was not fit to
+tax anything but the land, because every thing arises from the land,
+even rain itself, and consequently that nothing was properly liable to
+taxation, but the fruits of the land.
+
+During the last war, one of their collectors came to my house, and
+demanded of me, for my quota, three measures of corn, and a sack of
+beans, the whole worth twenty crowns, to maintain the war--of which I
+never knew the reason, having only heard it said, that there was nothing
+to be got by it for our country, and a great deal to lose. As I had not
+at that time either corn, or beans, or money, the legislative and
+executive power had me dragged to prison; and the war went on as well as
+it could.
+
+On my release from the dungeon, being nothing but skin and bone, whom
+should I meet but a jolly fresh colored man in a coach and six? He had
+six footmen, to each of whom he gave for his wages more than the double
+of my revenue. His head-steward, who, by the way, looked in as good
+plight as himself, had of him a salary of two thousand livres, and
+robbed him every year of twenty thousand more. His mistress had in six
+months stood him in forty thousand crowns. I had formerly known him when
+he was less well to pass than myself. He owned, by way of comfort to me,
+that he enjoyed four hundred thousand livres a year.
+
+"I suppose, then," said I, "that you pay out of this income two hundred
+thousand to the state, to help to support that advantageous war we are
+carrying on; since I, who have but just a hundred and twenty livres a
+year, am obliged to pay half of them."
+
+"I," said he, "I contribute to the wants of the state? You are surely
+jesting, my friend. I have inherited from an uncle his fortune of eight
+millions, which he got at Cadiz and at Surat; I have not a foot of land;
+my estate lies in government contracts, and in the funds. I owe the
+state nothing. It is for you to give half of your substance,--you who
+are a proprietor of land. Do you not see, that if the minister of the
+revenue were to require anything of me in aid of our country, he would
+be a blockhead, that could not calculate? for every thing is the produce
+of the land. Money and the paper currency are nothing but pledges of
+exchange. If, after having laid the sole tax, the tax that is to supply
+the place of all others, on those commodities, the government were to
+ask money of me; do you not see, that this would be a double load? that
+it would be asking the same thing twice over? My uncle sold at Cadiz to
+the amount of two millions of your corn, and of two millions of stuffs
+made of your wool; upon these two articles he gained cent. per cent. You
+must easily think that this profit came out of lands already taxed. What
+my uncle bought for tenpence of you, he sold again for above fifty
+livres at Mexico; and thus he made a shift to return to his own country
+with eight millions clear.
+
+"You must be sensible, then, that it would be a horrid injustice to
+re-demand of him a few farthings on the tenpence he paid you. If twenty
+nephews like me, whose uncles had gained each eight millions at Buenos
+Ayres, at Lima, at Surat, or at Pondicherry, were, in the urgent
+necessities of the state, each to lend to it only two hundred thousand
+livres, that would produce four millions. But what horror would that
+be! Pay then thou, my friend, who enjoyest quietly the neat and clear
+revenue of forty crowns; serve thy country well, and come now and then
+to dine with my servants in livery."
+
+This plausible discourse made me reflect a good deal, but I cannot say
+it much comforted me.
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+CONVERSATION WITH A GEOMETRICIAN.
+
+
+It sometimes happens that a man has no answer to make, and yet is not
+persuaded. He is overthrown without the feeling of being convinced. He
+feels at the bottom of his heart a scruple, a repugnance, which hinders
+him from believing what has been proved to him. A geometrician
+demonstrates to you, that between a circle and a tangent, you may thread
+a number of curves, and yet cannot get one straight line to pass. Your
+eyes, your reason, tell you the contrary. The geometrician gravely
+answers you, that it is an infinitesimal of the second order. You stare
+in stupid silence, and quit the field all astonished, without having any
+clear idea, without comprehending anything, and without having any reply
+to make.
+
+Consult but a geometrician of more candor, and he explains the mystery
+to you.
+
+"We suppose," says he, "what cannot be in nature, lines which have
+length without breadth. Naturally and philosophically speaking, it is
+impossible for one real line to penetrate another. No curve, nor no
+right line can pass between two real lines that touch one another. These
+theorems that puzzle you are but sports of the imagination, ideal
+chimeras. Whereas true geometry is the art of measuring things actually
+existent."
+
+I was perfectly well satisfied with the confession of the sensible
+mathematician, and, with all my misfortune, could not help laughing on
+learning that there was a quackery even in that science, which is called
+the sublime science. My geometrician was a kind of philosophical
+patriot, who had deigned to chat with me sometimes in my cottage. I said
+to him:
+
+"Sir, you have tried to enlighten the cockneys of Paris, on a point of
+the greatest concern to mankind, that of the duration of human life. It
+is to you alone that the ministry owes its knowledge of the due rate of
+annuities for lives, according to different ages. You have proposed to
+furnish the houses in town with what water they may want, and to deliver
+us at length from the shame and ridicule of hearing water cried about
+the streets, and of seeing women inclosed within an oblong hoop,
+carrying two pails of water, both together of about thirty pounds
+weight, up to a fourth story. Be so good, in the name of friendship, to
+tell me, how many two-handed bipeds there may be in France?"
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--It is assumed, that there may be about twenty
+millions, and I am willing to adopt this calculation as the most
+probable, till it can be verified, which it would be very easy to do,
+and which, however, has not hitherto been done, because _one does not
+always think of every thing_.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--How many acres, think you, the whole territory
+of France contains?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--One hundred and thirty millions, of which almost the
+half is in roads, in towns, villages, moors, heaths, marshes, sands,
+barren lands, useless convents, gardens of more pleasure than profit,
+uncultivated grounds, and bad grounds ill cultivated. We might reduce
+all the land which yields good returns to seventy-five millions of
+square acres; but let us state them at fourscore millions. One cannot do
+too much for one's country.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--How much may you think each acre brings in
+yearly, one year with another, in corn, seeds of all kinds, wine,
+fish-ponds, wood, metals, cattle, fruit, wool, silk, oil, milk, clear of
+all charges, without reckoning the tax?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Why, if they produce each twenty-five livres, (about
+twenty English shillings), it is a great deal; but not to discourage our
+countrymen, let us put them at thirty livres. There are acres which
+produce constantly regenerating value, and which are estimated at three
+hundred livres: there are others which only produce three livres. The
+mean proportion between three and three hundred is thirty; for you must
+allow that three is to thirty as thirty is to three hundred. If, indeed,
+there were comparatively many acres at thirty livres, and very few at
+three hundred, our account would not hold good; but, once more, I would
+not be over punctilious.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Well, sir; how much will these fourscore
+millions of acres yield of revenue, estimated in money?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--The account is ready made; they will produce two
+thousand four hundred millions of livres of the present currency.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--I have read that Solomon possessed, of his own
+property, twenty-five thousand millions of livres, in ready money; and
+certainly there are not two thousand four hundred millions of specie
+circulating in France, which, I am told, is much greater and much richer
+than Solomon's country.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--There lies the mystery. There may be about nine
+hundred millions circulating throughout the kingdom; and this money,
+passing from hand to hand, is sufficient to pay for all the produce of
+the land, and of industry. The same crown may pass ten times from the
+pocket of the cultivator, into that of the ale-housekeeper, and of the
+tax-gatherer.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--I apprehend you. But you told me that we are,
+in all, about twenty millions of inhabitants, men, women, old and young.
+How much, pray, do you allow for each?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--One hundred and twenty livres, or forty crowns.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--You have just guessed my revenue. I have four
+acres, which, reckoning the fallow years with those of produce, bring me
+in one hundred and twenty livres; which is little enough, God knows.
+
+But if every individual were to have his contingent, would that be no
+more than five louis d'ors a year?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Certainly not, according to our calculation, which I
+have a little amplified. Such is the state of human nature. Our life and
+our fortune have narrow limits. In Paris, they do not, one with another,
+live above twenty-two or twenty-three years, and, one with another,
+have not, at the most, above a hundred and twenty livres a year to
+spend. So that your food, your raiment, your lodging, your movables, are
+all represented by the sum of one hundred and twenty livres.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Alas! What have I done to you, that you thus
+abridge me of my fortune and life? Can it then be true, that I have but
+three and twenty years to live, unless I rob my fellow-creatures of
+their share?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--This is incontestable in the good city of Paris. But
+from these twenty-three years you must deduct ten, at the least, for
+your childhood, as childhood is not an enjoyment of life; it is a
+preparation; it is the porch of the edifice; it is the tree that has not
+yet given fruits; it is the dawn of a day. Then again, from the thirteen
+years which remain to you, deduct the time of sleep, and that of
+tiresomeness of life, and that will be at least a moiety. You will then
+have six years and a half left to pass in vexation, in pain, in some
+pleasures, and in hopes.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Merciful heaven! At this rate, your account
+does not allow us above three years of tolerable existence.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.---That is no fault of mine. Nature cares very little
+for individuals. There are insects which do not live above one day, but
+of which the species is perpetual. Nature resembles those great princes,
+who reckon as nothing the loss of four hundred thousand men, so they but
+accomplish their august designs.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Forty Crowns and three years of life! What
+resource can you imagine against two such curses?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--As to life, it would be requisite to render the air
+of Paris more pure--that men should eat less and take more
+exercise--that mothers should suckle their own children--that people
+should be no longer so ill-advised as to dread inoculation. This is what
+I have already said; and as to fortune, why, even marry and rear a
+family.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--How! Can the way to live more at ease be to
+associate to my own bad circumstances those of others?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Five or six bad circumstances put together form a
+tolerable establishment. Get a good wife, and we will say only two sons
+and two daughters; this will make seven hundred and twenty livres for
+your little family, that is to say, if distributive justice were to take
+place, and that each individual had an hundred and twenty livres a year.
+Your children, in their infancy, stand you in almost nothing; when grown
+up they will ease and help you. Their mutual aid will save you a good
+part of your expenses, and you may live very happy, like a philosopher.
+Always provided, however, that those worthy gentlemen who govern the
+state have not the barbarity to extort from each of you twenty crowns a
+year. But the misfortune is, we are no longer in the golden age, where
+the men, born all equals, had an equal part in the nutritive productions
+of uncultivated land. The case is now far from being so good a one, as
+that every two-handed biped possesses land to the value of an hundred
+and twenty livres a year.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--'Sdeath! You ruin us. You said but just now,
+that in a country of fourscore millions of inhabitants, each of them
+ought to enjoy an hundred and twenty livres a year, and now you take
+them away from us again!
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--I was computing according to the registers of the
+golden age, but we must reckon according to that of iron. There are many
+inhabitants who have but the value of ten crowns a year, others no more
+than four or five, and above six millions of men who have absolutely
+nothing.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Nothing? Why they would perish of hunger in
+three days' time.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Not in the least. The others, who possess their
+portions, set them to work, and share with them. It is from this
+arrangement that the pay comes for the divine, the confectioner, the
+apothecary, the preacher, the actor, the attorney, and the
+hackney-coachman. You thought yourself very ill off, to have no more
+than a hundred and twenty livres a year, reduced to a hundred and eight
+by your tax of twelve livres. But consider the soldiers who devote their
+blood to their country at the rate of fourpence a day. They have not
+above sixty-three livres a year for their livelihood, and yet they make
+a comfortable shift, by a number of them joining their little stock and
+living in common.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--So then an ex-Jesuit has more than five times
+the pay of a soldier. And yet the soldiers have done more service to the
+state under the eyes of the king at Fontenoy, at Laufelt, at the siege
+of Fribourg, than the reverend Father Le Valette ever did in his life.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Nothing can be truer: nay, every one of these
+turned-adrift Jesuits, having now become free, has more to spend than
+what he cost his convent. There are even some among them who have gained
+a good deal of money by scribbling pamphlets against the parliaments, as
+for example, the reverend father Patouillet, and the reverend father
+Monote. In short, in this world every one sets his wits to work for a
+livelihood. One is at the head of a manufactory of stuffs; another of
+porcelain; another undertakes the opera; another the _Ecclesiastical
+Gazette_; another a tragedy in familiar life, or a novel or romance in
+the English style; this maintains the stationer, the ink-maker, the
+bookseller, the hawker, who might else be reduced to beggary. There is
+nothing, then, but the restitution of the hundred and twenty livres to
+those who have nothing, that makes the state flourish.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--A pretty way of flourishing, truly!
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--And yet there is no other. In every country it is the
+rich that enable the poor to live. This is the sole source of the
+industry of commerce. The more industrious a nation itself is, the more
+it gains from foreign countries. Could we, on our foreign trade, get ten
+millions a year by the balance in our favor, there would, in twenty
+years, be two hundred millions more in the nation. This would afford ten
+livres a head more, on the supposition of an equitable distribution;
+that is to say, that the dealers would make each poor person earn ten
+livres the more, once paid, in the hopes of making still more
+considerable gains. But commerce, like the fertility of the earth, has
+its bounds, otherwise its progression would be _ad infinitum_. Nor,
+besides, is it clear, that the balance of our trade is constantly
+favorable to us; there are times in which we lose.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--I have heard much talk of population. If our
+inhabitants were doubled, so that we numbered forty millions of people
+instead of twenty, what would be the consequence?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--It would be this: that, one with another, each would
+have, instead of forty, but twenty crowns to live upon; or that the land
+should produce double the crops it now does; or that there should be
+double the national industry, or of gain from foreign countries; or that
+half of the people should be sent to America; or that one half of the
+nation should eat the other.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Let us then remain satisfied with our twenty
+millions of inhabitants, and with our hundred and twenty livres a head,
+distributed as it shall please the Lord. Yet this situation is a sad
+one, and your iron age is hard indeed.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--There is no nation that is better off; and there are
+many that are worse. Do you believe that there is in the North
+wherewithal to afford to each inhabitant the value of an hundred and
+twenty of our livres a year? If they had had the equivalent of this, the
+Huns, the Vandals, and the Franks would not have deserted their country,
+in quest of establishments elsewhere, which they conquered, fire and
+sword in hand.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--If I were to listen to you, you would persuade
+me presently that I am happy with my hundred and twenty livres.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--If you would but think yourself happy, you would then
+be so.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--A man cannot imagine what actually is not,
+unless he be mad.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--I have already told you, that in order to be more at
+your ease, and more happy than you are, you should take a wife; to which
+I tack, however, this clause, that she has, as well as you, one hundred
+and twenty livres a year; that is to say, four acres at ten crowns an
+acre. The ancient Romans had each but one. If your children are
+industrious, they can each earn as much by their working for others.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--So that they may get money, without others
+losing it.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Such is the law of all nations: there is no living
+but on these terms.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--And must my wife and I give each of us the
+half of our produce to the legislative and executive power, and the new
+ministers of state rob us of the price of our hard labor, and of the
+substance of our poor children, before they are able to get their
+livelihood? Pray, tell me, how much money will these new ministers of
+ours bring into the king's coffers, by this _jure divino_ system?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--You pay twenty crowns on four acres, which bring you
+in forty. A rich man, who possesses four hundred acres will, by the new
+tariff, pay two thousand crowns; and the whole fourscore millions of
+acres will yield to the king, twelve hundred millions of livres a year,
+or four hundred millions of crowns.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--That appears to me impracticable and
+impossible.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--And very much you are in the right to think so: and
+this impossibility is a geometrical demonstration that there is a
+fundamental defect in the calculation of our new ministers.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Is not there also demonstrably a prodigious
+injustice in taking from me the half of my corn, of my hemp, of the wool
+of my sheep, etc., and, at the same time, to require no aid from those
+who shall have gained ten, twenty, or thirty thousand livres a year, by
+my hemp, of which they will have made linen,--by my wool, of which they
+will have made cloth,--by my corn, which they will have sold at so much
+more than it cost them?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--The injustice of this administration is as evident as
+its calculation is erroneous. It is right to favor industry; but opulent
+industry ought to contribute to support the state. This industry will
+have certainly taken from you a part of your one hundred and twenty
+livres, and appropriated that part to itself, in selling you your shirts
+and your coat twenty times dearer than they would have cost you, if you
+had made them yourself. The manufacturer who shall have enriched
+himself, at your expense, will, I allow, have also paid wages to his
+workmen, who had nothing of themselves, but he will, every year, have
+sunk, and put by a sum that will, at length, have produced to him thirty
+thousand livres a year. This fortune then he will have acquired at your
+expense. Nor can you ever sell him the produce of your land dear enough
+to reimburse you for what he will have got by you; for were you to
+attempt such an advance of your price, he would procure what he wanted
+cheaper from other countries. A proof of which is, that he remains
+constantly possessor of his thirty thousand livres a year, and you of
+your one hundred and twenty livres, that often diminish, instead of
+increasing.
+
+It is then necessary and equitable, that the refined industry of the
+trader should pay more than the gross industry of the farmer. The same
+is to be said of the collectors of the revenue. Your tax had previously
+been but twelve livres, before our great ministers were pleased to take
+from you twenty crowns. On these twelve livres, the collector retained
+tenpence, or ten _sols_ for himself. If in your province there were five
+hundred thousand souls, he will have gained two hundred and fifty
+thousand livres a year. Suppose he spends fifty thousand, it is clear,
+that at the end of ten years he will be two millions in pocket. It is
+then but just that he should contribute his proportion, otherwise, every
+thing would be perverted, and go to ruin.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--I am very glad you have taxed the officer of
+the revenue. It is some relief to my imagination. But since he has so
+well increased his superfluity, what shall I do to augment my small
+modicum?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--I have already told you, by marrying, by laboring, by
+trying to procure from your land some sheaves of corn in addition to
+what it previously produced.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Well! granted then that I shall have been duly
+industrious; that all my countrymen will have been so too; and that the
+legislative and executive power shall have received a good round tax;
+how much will the nation have gained at the end of the year?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Nothing at all; unless it shall have carried on a
+profitable foreign trade. But life will have been more agreeable in it.
+Every one will, respectively, in proportion, have had more clothes, more
+linen, more movables than he had before. There will have been in the
+nation a more abundant circulation. The wages would have been, in
+process of time, augmented, nearly in proportion to the number of the
+sheaves of corn, of the tods of wool, of the ox-hides, of the sheep and
+goats, that will have been added, of the clusters of grapes that will
+have been squeezed in the wine-press. More of the value of commodities
+will have been paid to the king in money, and the king will have
+returned more value to those he will have employed under his orders; but
+there will not be half a crown the more in the kingdom.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.---What will then remain to the government at
+the end of the year?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Once more, nothing. This is the case of government in
+general. It never lays by anything. It will have got its living, that is
+to say, its food, raiment, lodging, movables. The subject will have done
+so too. Where a government amasses treasure, it will have squeezed from
+the circulation so much money as it will have amassed. It will have made
+so many wretched, as it will have put by forty crowns in its coffers.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--At this rate, then, Henry IV. was but a
+mean-spirited wretch, a miser, a plunderer, for I have been told that he
+had chested up in the Bastile, above fifty millions of livres according
+to our present currency.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--He was a man as good, and as prudent, as he was
+brave. He was preparing to make a just war, and by amassing in his
+coffers twenty-two millions of the currency of that time, besides which
+he had twenty more to receive, which he left in circulation, he spared
+the people above a hundred millions that it would have cost, if he had
+not taken those useful measures. He made himself morally sure of success
+against an enemy who had not taken the like precaution. The
+probabilities were prodigiously in his favor. His twenty-two millions,
+in bank, proved that there was then in this kingdom, twenty-two millions
+of surplusage of the territorial produce, so that no one was a sufferer.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--My father then told me the truth, when he said
+that the subject was in proportion more rich under the administration of
+the Duke of Sully than under that of our new ministers, who had laid on
+the _single_ tax, the _sole_ tax, and who, out of my forty crowns, have
+taken away twenty. Pray, tell me, is there another nation in the world
+that enjoys this precious advantage of the _sole tax_?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Not one opulent nation. The English, who are not much
+giving to laughing, could not, however, help bursting out, when they
+heard that men of intelligence, among us, had proposed this kind of
+administration. The Chinese exact a tax from all the foreign trading
+ships that resort to Canton. The Dutch pay, at Nangazaqui, when they are
+received in Japan, under pretext that they are not Christians. The
+Laplanders, and the Samoieds, are indeed subjected to a sole tax in
+sables or marten-skins. The republic of St. Marino pays nothing more
+than tithes for the maintenance of that state in its splendor.
+
+There is, in Europe, a nation celebrated for its equity and its valor,
+that pays no tax. This is Switzerland. But thus it has happened. The
+people have put themselves in the place of the Dukes of Austria and of
+Zeringue. The small cantons are democratical, and very poor. Each
+inhabitant pays but a trifling sum toward the support of this little
+republic. In the rich cantons, the people are charged, for the state,
+with those duties which the Archdukes of Austria and the lords of the
+land used to exact. The protestant cantons are, in proportion, twice as
+rich as the catholic, because the state, in the first, possesses the
+lands of the monks. Those who were formerly subjects to the Archdukes of
+Austria, to the Duke of Zeringue, and to the monks, are now the subjects
+of their own country. They pay to that country the same tithes, the same
+fines of alienation, that they paid to their former masters; and as the
+subjects, in general, have very little trade, their merchandise is
+liable to no charges, except some small staple duties. The men make a
+trade of their courage, in their dealings with foreign powers, and sell
+themselves for a certain term of years, which brings some money into
+their country at our expense: and this example is as singular a one in
+the civilized world, as is the sole tax now laid on by our new
+legislators.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--So, sir, the Swiss are not plundered, _jure
+divino_, of one-half of their goods; and he that has four cows in
+Switzerland is not obliged to give two of them to the state?
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--Undoubtedly, not. In one canton, upon thirteen tons
+of wine, they pay one, and drink the other twelve. In another canton,
+they pay the twelfth, and drink the remaining eleven.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--Why am not I a Swiss? That cursed tax, that
+single and singularly iniquitous tax, that has reduced me to beggary!
+But then again, three or four hundred taxes, of which it is impossible
+for me to retain or pronounce the bare names, are they more just and
+more tolerable? Was there ever a legislator, who, in founding a state,
+wished to create counselors to the king, inspectors of coal-meters,
+gaugers of wine, measurers of wood, searchers of hog-tongues,
+comptrollers of salt butter? or to maintain an army of rascals, twice as
+numerous as that of Alexander, commanded by sixty generals, who lay the
+country under contribution, who gain, every day, signal victories, who
+take prisoners, and who sometimes sacrifice them in the air, or on a
+boarded stage, as the ancient Scythians did, according to what my vicar
+told me?
+
+Now, was such a legislation, against which so many outcries were raised,
+and which caused the shedding of so many tears, much better than the
+newly imposed one, which at one stroke, cleanly and quietly takes away
+half of my subsistence? I am afraid, that on a fair liquidation, it will
+be found that under the ancient system of the revenue, they used to
+take, at times and in detail, three-quarters of it.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--_Iliacos intra muros peccatur et extra. Est modus in
+retus. Caveas fine quidnimie._
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--I have learned a little of history, and
+something of geometry; but I do not understand a word of Latin.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--The sense is, pretty nearly, as follows. _There is
+wrong on both sides. Keep to a medium in every thing. Nothing too much._
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--I say, nothing too much; that is really my
+situation; but the worst of it is, I have not enough.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--I allow that you must perish of want, and I too, and
+the state too, if the new administration should continue only two years
+longer; but it is to be hoped heaven will have mercy on us.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.--We pass our lives in hope, and die hoping to
+the last. Adieu, sir, you have enlightened me, but my heart is grieved.
+
+THE GEOMETRICIAN.--This is, indeed, often the fruit of knowledge.
+
+[Illustration: Palace of the barefooted Carmelites.--"What would you
+please to have, my son?"--"A morsel of bread, my reverend father. The
+new edicts have stripped me of everything."--"Son, know that we
+ourselves beg charity; we do not bestow it."]
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+AN ADVENTURE WITH A CARMELITE.
+
+
+When I had thanked the academician of the Academy of Sciences, for
+having set me right, I went away quite out of heart, praising
+providence, but muttering between my teeth these doleful words: "_What!
+to have no more than forty crowns a year to live on, nor more than
+twenty-two years to live!_ Alas! may our life be yet shorter, since it
+is to be so miserable!"
+
+As I was saying this, I found myself just opposite a very superb house.
+Already was I feeling myself pressed by hunger. I had not so much as the
+hundred and twentieth part of the sum that by right belongs to each
+individual. But as soon as I was told that this was the palace of my
+reverend fathers, the bare-footed Carmelites, I conceived great hopes,
+and said to myself, since these saints are humble enough to go
+bare-footed, they will be charitable enough to give me a dinner.
+
+I rang. A Carmelite came to the door.
+
+"What would you please to have, my son?"
+
+"A morsel of bread, my reverend father. The new edicts have stripped me
+of every thing."
+
+"Son, know that we ourselves beg charity; we do not bestow it."[1]
+
+"What! while your holy institute forbids you to wear shoes, you have the
+house of a prince, and can you refuse to me a meal?"
+
+"My son, it is true, we go without stockings and shoes; that is an
+expense the less; we feel no more cold in our feet than in our hands.
+As to our fine house, we built it very easily, as we have a hundred
+thousand livres a year of income from houses in the same street."
+
+"So, then! you suffer me to die of hunger, while you have an income of a
+hundred thousand livres! I suppose you pay fifty thousand of these to
+the new government?"
+
+"Heaven preserve us from paying a single farthing! It is only the
+produce of the land cultivated by laborious hands, callous with work,
+and moistened with tears, that owes taxes to the legislative and
+executive power. The alms which have been bestowed upon us, have enabled
+us to build those houses, by the rent of which we get a hundred thousand
+livres a year. But these alms, coming from the fruits of the earth, and
+having, consequently, already paid the tax, ought not to pay twice. They
+have sanctified the faithful believers, who have impoverished themselves
+to enrich us, and we continue to beg charity, and to lay under
+contribution the Fauxbourg of St. Germain, in order to sanctify a still
+greater number of the faithful believers."[2]
+
+Having thus spoken, the Carmelite politely shut the door in my face.
+
+I then passed along and stopped before the _Hôtel_ of the _Mousquetaires
+gris_, and related to those gentlemen what had just happened to me. They
+gave me a good dinner and half a crown, (_un ecu_). One of them proposed
+to go directly and set fire to the convent; but a musqueteer, more
+discreet than he, remonstrated with him, insisting that the time for
+action had not yet arrived, and implored him to wait patiently a little
+longer.[3]
+
+
+[1] Victor Hugo in his poem, _Christ at the Vatican_, (translated by
+G.B. Burleigh,) rebukes this inhuman spirit of monkish greed and
+avarice, which always receives but neves gives in return. In the poem,
+Christ is represented as saying:
+
+                               "----I have said,
+     'I will have mercy and not sacrifice;'--
+     Have said, 'Give freely what, without a price,
+     Was given to you.' To my redeemed, instead,
+     You sell baptism upon their natal bed;
+     Sell to the sinner void indulgences;
+     To lovers sell the natural right to wed;
+     Sell to the dying the privilege of decease,
+     And sell your funeral masses to the dead!
+     Your prayers and masses and communions sell;
+     Beads, benedictions, crosses; in your eyes
+     Nothing is sacred,--all is merchandise."--E.
+
+
+[2] In a recent number of _The Nineteenth Century_, Mr. Alex. A. Knox,
+in an able criticism on the writings of Voltaire, says very truly:
+
+"It should not be forgotten that in his day a very large portion of the
+soil of France was in the hands of the clergy, free from all burdens,
+save in so far as the clergy chose to execute them by the way of
+'gratuitous gifts.' The condition of the French peasant was frightful.
+Arthur Young, Dr. Moore, and others have described it at a somewhat
+later date, but it was even so in Voltaire's time. Of course the
+'clerical immunities' were far from being the only cause of all this
+misery; but they were a frightful addition to it."
+
+[3] The degradation of labor, and the corruption and injustice of the
+papal priesthood, were the inciting causes of the great revolution in
+France, which at length overturned the monarchy, and convulsed, for so
+long a period, every nation in Europe. In reading this romance of the
+hardships of the laborer, we may learn to comprehend the true principles
+of Voltaire, and recognize his great benevolence and sympathy with
+suffering and distress. We may also listen to the first faint mutterings
+of the terrible storm of blood and retribution, that was so soon to
+burst over unhappy France, and overwhelm in its lurid course all ranks
+and conditions of mankind--the innocent and the guilty, the oppressed
+and the oppressor, the peasant and the priest.--E.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+AUDIENCE OF THE COMPTROLLER GENERAL.
+
+
+I went, with my half-crown, to present a petition to the comptroller
+general, who was that day giving audience.
+
+His anti-chamber was filled with people of all kinds. There were there
+especially some with more bluff faces, more prominent bellies, and more
+arrogant looks than my man of eight millions. I durst not draw near to
+them; I saw them, but they did not observe me.
+
+A monk, a great man for tithes, had begun a suit at law against certain
+subjects of the state, whom he called his tenants. He had already a
+larger income than the half of his parishioners put together, and was
+moreover lord of the manor. His claim was, that whereas his vassals had,
+with infinite pains, converted their heaths into vineyards, they owed
+him a tithe of the wine, which, taking into the account the price of
+labor, of the vine-props, of the casks and cellarage, would carry off
+above a quarter of the produce.
+
+"But," said he, "as the tithes are due, _jure divino_, I demand the
+quarter of the substance of my tenants, in the name of God."
+
+The minister of the revenue said to him, "I see how charitable you are."
+
+A farmer-general, extremely well-skilled in assessments, interposed,
+saying:
+
+"Sir, that village can afford nothing to this monk; as I have, but the
+last year, made the parishioners pay thirty-two taxes on their wine,
+besides their over-consumption of the allowance for their own drinking.
+They are entirely ruined. I have seized and sold their cattle and
+movables, and yet they are still my debtors. I protest, then, against
+the claim of the reverend father."
+
+"You are in the right," answered the minister of the revenue, "to be his
+rival; you both equally love your neighbor, and you both edify me."
+
+A third, a monk and lord of the manor, whose tenants were in mortmain,
+was waiting for a decree of the council that should put him in
+possession of all the estate of a Paris cockney, who having,
+inadvertently, lived a year and a day in a house subject to this
+servitude, and inclosed within the hands of this priest, had died at the
+year's end. The monk was claiming all the estate of this cockney, and
+claiming it _jure divino_.
+
+The minister found by this, that the heart of this monk was as just and
+as tender as those of the others.
+
+A fourth, who was comptroller of the royal domains, presented a specious
+memorial, in which he justified himself for his having reduced twenty
+families to beggary. They had inherited from their uncles, their aunts,
+their brothers, or cousins; and were liable to pay the duties. The
+officers of the domain had generously proved to them, that they had not
+set the full value on their inheritances,--that they were much richer
+than they believed, and, consequently, having condemned them to a triple
+fine, ruined them in charges, and threw the heads of the families into
+jail, he had bought their best possessions without untying his
+purse-strings.
+
+The comptroller general said to him, in a tone indeed rather bitter:
+
+_"Euge, controlleur bone et fidelis, quia supra pauca fuisti fidelis,
+fermier-general te constituam."_
+
+But to a master of the requests, who was standing at his side, he said
+in a low voice:
+
+"We must make these blood-suckers, sacred and profane, disgorge. It is
+time to give some relief to the people, who, without our care, and our
+equity, would have nothing to live upon in this world at least, however
+they might fare in the other."
+
+Some, of profound genius, presented projects to him. One of them had
+imagined a scheme to lay a tax on wit. "All the world," said he, "will
+be eager to pay, as no one cares to pass for a fool."
+
+The minister declared to him, "I exempt you from the tax."
+
+Another proposed to lay the _only_ tax upon songs and laughing, in
+consideration that we were the merriest nation under the sun, and that a
+song was a relief and comfort for every thing. But the minister
+observed, that of late there were hardly any songs of pleasantry made;
+and he was afraid that, to escape the tax, we would become too serious.
+
+The next that presented himself, was a trusty and loyal subject, who
+offered to raise for the king three times as much, by making the nation
+pay three times less. The minister advised him to learn arithmetic.
+
+A fourth proved to the king in the way of _friendship_, that he could
+not raise above seventy-five millions, but that he was going to procure
+him two hundred and twenty-five. "You will oblige me in this," said the
+minister, "as soon as we shall have paid the public debts."
+
+At length, who should appear but a deputy of the new author, who makes
+the legislative power co-proprietor of all our lands, _jure divino_, and
+who was giving the king twelve hundred millions of revenue. I knew the
+man again who had flung me into prison for not having paid my twenty
+crowns, and throwing myself at the feet of the comptroller general, I
+implored his justice; upon which, he burst out a laughing, and telling
+me, it was a trick that had been played me, he ordered the doers of this
+mischief in jest to pay me a hundred crowns damages, and exempted me
+from the land-tax for the rest of my life. I said to him, "God bless
+your honor!"
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS MARRIES, BECOMES A FATHER, AND DESCANTS UPON THE
+MONKS.
+
+
+The Man of Forty Crowns having improved his understanding, and having
+accumulated a moderate fortune, married a very pretty girl, who had an
+hundred crowns a year of her own. As soon as his son was born, he felt
+himself a man of some consequence in the state. He was famous for making
+the best baskets in the world, and his wife was an excellent seamstress.
+She was born in the neighborhood of a rich abbey of a hundred thousand
+livres a year. Her husband asked me one day, why those gentlemen, who
+were so few in number, had swallowed so many of the forty crown lots?
+"Are they more useful to their country than I am?" "No, dear neighbor."
+"Do they, like me, contribute at least to the population of it?" "No."
+"Do they cultivate the land? Do they defend the state when it is
+attacked?" "No, they pray to God for us." "Well, then, I will pray to
+God for us." "Well, then, I will pray to God for them, in return."
+
+QUESTION.--How many of these useful gentry, men and women, may the
+convents in this kingdom contain?
+
+ANSWER.--By the lists of the superintendents, taken toward the end of
+the last century, there were about ninety thousand.
+
+QUESTION.--According to our ancient account, they ought not, at forty
+crowns a head, to possess above ten millions eight hundred thousand
+livres. Pray, how much have they actually?
+
+ANSWER.--They have to the amount of fifty millions, including the
+masses, and alms to the mendicant monks, who really lay a considerable
+tax on the people. A begging friar of a convent in Paris, publicly
+bragged that his wallet was worth fourscore thousand livres a year.
+
+QUESTION.--Let us now consider how much the repartition of fifty
+millions among ninety thousand shaven crowns gives to each? Let us see,
+is it not five hundred and fifty-five livres?
+
+ANSWER.--Yes, and a considerable sum it is in a numerous society, where
+the expenses even diminish by the quantity of consumers; for ten persons
+may live together much cheaper than if each had his separate lodging and
+table.
+
+QUESTION.--So that the ex-Jesuits, to whom there is now assigned a
+pension of four hundred livres, are then really losers by the bargain.
+
+ANSWER.--I do not think so; for they are almost all of them retired
+among their friends, who assist them. Several of them say masses for
+money, which they did not do before; others get to be preceptors; some
+are maintained by female bigots; each has made a shift for himself: and,
+perhaps, at this time, there are few of them, who have tasted of the
+world, and of liberty, that would resume their former chains. The
+monkish life, whatever they may say, is not at all to be envied. It is a
+maxim well known, that the monks are a kind of people who assemble
+without knowing, live without loving, and die without regretting each
+other.
+
+QUESTION.--You think, then, that it would be doing them a great service,
+to strip them of all their monks' habits?
+
+ANSWER.--They would undoubtedly gain much by it, and the state still
+more. It would restore to the country a number of subjects, men and
+women, who have rashly sacrificed their liberty, at an age to which the
+laws do not allow a capacity of disposing of tenpence a year income. It
+would be taking these corpses out of their tombs, and afford a true
+resurrection. Their houses might become hospitals, or be turned into
+places for manufactures. Population would be increased. All the arts
+would be better cultivated. One might at least diminish the number of
+these voluntary victims by fixing the number of novices. The country
+would have subjects more useful, and less unhappy. Such is the opinion
+of all the magistrates, such the unanimous wish of the public, since its
+understanding is enlightened. The example of England, and other states,
+is an evident proof of the necessity of this reformation. What would
+England do at this time, if, instead of forty thousand seamen, it had
+forty thousand monks? The more they are multiplied, the greater need
+there is of a number of industrious subjects. There are undoubtedly
+buried in the cloisters many talents, which are lost to the state. To
+make a kingdom nourish, there should be the fewest priests and the most
+artisans possible. So far ought the ignorance and barbarism of our
+forefathers to be from being any rule for us, that they ought rather to
+be an admonition to us, to do what they would do, if they were in our
+place, with our improvements in knowledge.
+
+QUESTION.--It is not then out of hatred to monks that you wish to
+abolish them, but out of love to your country? I think as you do. I
+would not have my son a monk. And if I thought I was to rear children
+for nothing better than a cloister, I would not wish to become a father.
+
+ANSWER.--Where in fact, is that good father of a family that would not
+groan to see his son and daughter lost to society? This is seeking the
+safety of the soul. It may be so, but a soldier that seeks the safety of
+his body, when his duty is to fight, is punished. We are all soldiers of
+the state; we are in the pay of society; we become deserters when we
+quit it.
+
+Why, then, has monkishness prevailed? Because, since the days of
+Constantine, the government has been everywhere absurd and detestable;
+because the Roman empire came to have more monks than soldiers; because
+there were a hundred thousand of them in Egypt alone; because they were
+exempt from labor and taxes; because the chiefs of those barbarous
+nations which destroyed the empire, having turned Christians, in order
+to govern Christians, exercised the most horrid tyranny; because, to
+avoid the fury of these tyrants, people threw themselves in crowds into
+cloisters, and so, to escape one servitude, put themselves into another;
+because the popes, by instituting so many different orders of sacred
+drones, contrived to have so many subjects to themselves in other
+states; because a peasant likes better to be called reverend father, and
+to give his benedictions, than to follow a plough's tail; because he
+does not know that the plough is nobler than a monk's habit; because he
+had rather live at the expense of fools than by a laborious occupation;
+in short, because he does not know that, in making a monk of himself, he
+is preparing for himself unhappy days, of which the sad groundwork will
+be nothing but a _tedium vitæ_ and repentance.
+
+QUESTION.--I am satisfied. Let us have no monks, for the sake of their
+own happiness, as well as ours. But I am sorry to hear it said by the
+landlord of our village, who is father to four boys and three girls,
+that he does not know how to dispose of his daughters, unless he makes
+nuns of them.
+
+ANSWER.--This too often repeated plea is at once inhuman, detrimental to
+the country, and destructive to society. Every time that it can be said
+of any condition of life whatever, that if all the world were to embrace
+it mankind would perish, it is proved that that condition is a worthless
+one, and that whoever embraces it does all the mischief to mankind that
+in him lies.
+
+Now, it being a clear consequence that if all the youth of both sexes
+were to shut themselves up in cloisters the world would perish, monkery
+is, if it were but in that light alone, the enemy to human nature,
+independently of the horrid evils it has formerly caused.
+
+QUESTION.--Might not as much be said of soldiers?
+
+[Illustration: Entering the convent.--"There is a necessity for houses
+of retreat for old age, for infirmity, for deformity. But by the most
+detestable of all abuses, these foundations are for well-made persons.
+Let a hump-backed woman present herself to enter into a cloister, and
+she will be rejected with contempt, unless she will give an immense
+portion to the house."]
+
+ANSWER. Certainly not; for if every subject carried arms in his turn, as
+formerly was the practice in all republics, and especially in that of
+Rome, the soldier is but the better farmer for it. The soldier, as a
+good subject ought to do, marries, and fights for his wife and children.
+Would it were the will of heaven that every laborer was a soldier and a
+married man! They would make excellent subjects. But a monk, merely in
+his quality of a monk, is good for nothing but to devour the substance
+of his countryman. There is no truth more generally acknowledged.
+
+QUESTION.--But, sir, the daughters of poor gentlemen, who cannot portion
+them off in marriage, what are they to do?
+
+ANSWER.---Do! They should do, as has a thousand times been said, like
+the daughters in England, in Scotland, Ireland, Switzerland, Holland,
+half Germany, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Tartary, Turkey, Africa, and in
+almost all the rest of the globe. They will prove much better wives,
+much better mothers, when it shall have been the custom, as in Germany,
+to marry women without fortune. A woman, industrious and a good
+economist, will do more good in a house, than a daughter of a farmer of
+the revenue, who spends more in superfluities than she will have brought
+of income to her husband.
+
+There is a necessity for houses of retreat for old age, for infirmity,
+for deformity. But by the most detestable of all abuses, these
+foundations are for well-made persons. Let a hump-backed old woman
+present herself to enter into a cloister, and she will be rejected with
+contempt, unless she will give an immense portion to the house. But what
+do I say? Every nun must bring her dower with her; she is else the
+refuse of the convent. Never was there a more intolerable abuse.
+
+QUESTION.--Thank you, sir. I swear to you that no daughter of mine shall
+be a nun. They shall learn to spin, to sew, to make lace, to embroider,
+to render themselves useful. I look on the vows of convents to be crimes
+against one's country and one's self. Now, sir, I beg you will explain
+to me, how comes it that a certain writer, in contradiction to human
+kind, pretends that monks are useful to the population of a state,
+because their buildings are kept in better repair than those of the
+nobility, and their lands better cultivated?
+
+ANSWER.---He has a mind to divert himself; he knows but too well, that
+ten families who have each five thousand livres a year in land, are a
+hundred, nay, a thousand times more useful than a convent that enjoys
+fifty thousand livres a year, and which has always a secret hoard. He
+cries up the fine houses built by the monks, and it is precisely those
+fine houses that provoke the rest of the subjects; it is the very cause
+of complaint to all Europe. The vow of poverty condemns those palaces,
+as the vow of humility protests against pride, and as the vow of
+extinguishing one's race is in opposition to nature.
+
+QUESTION.--Bless me! Who can this be that advances so strange a
+proposition?
+
+ANSWER. It is the _friend of mankind_, [Monsieur le M. de Mirabeau, in
+his book entitled _L'Ami des Hommes_. It is against this marquis that the
+jest on the _only tax_ is leveled; a tax proposed by him], or rather the
+friend of the monks.
+
+QUESTION.--I begin to think it advisable to be very distrustful of
+books.
+
+ANSWER.--The best way is to make use, with regard to them, of the same
+caution, as with men. Choose the most reasonable, examine them, and
+never yield unless to evidence.
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+ON TAXES PAID TO A FOREIGN POWER.
+
+
+About a month ago, the Man of Forty Crowns came to me, holding both his
+sides, which seemed ready to burst with laughing. In short, he laughed
+so heartily that I could not help laughing also, without knowing at
+what. So true it is, that man is born an imitative animal, that instinct
+rules us, and that the great emotions of the soul are catching. _Ut
+ridentibus arrident, ita flentibus adflent, Humani vultus._
+
+When he had had his laugh out, he told me that he had just come from
+meeting with a man who called himself the prothonotary of the Holy See,
+and that this personage was sending away a great sum of money to an
+Italian, three hundred leagues off, in the name and behalf of a
+Frenchman, on whom the king had bestowed a small fief or fee; because
+the said Frenchman could never enjoy this benefit of the king's
+conferring, if he did not give to this Italian the first year's income.
+
+"The thing," said I, "is very true; but it is not quite such a laughing
+matter either. It costs France about four hundred thousand livres a
+year, in petty duties of this kind; and in the course of two centuries
+and a half, that this custom has lasted, we have already sent to Italy
+fourscore millions."
+
+"Heavenly Father!" he exclaimed, "how many forty crowns would that make?
+Some Italian, then, subdued us, I suppose, two centuries and a half ago,
+and laid that tribute upon us!"
+
+"In good faith," answered I, "he used to impose on us in former times,
+in a much more burthensome way. That is but a trifle in comparison to
+what, for a long time, he levied on our poor nations of Europe."
+
+Then I related to him how those holy usurpations had taken place, and
+came to be established. He knows a little of history, and does not want
+for sense. He easily conceived that we had been slaves, and that we were
+still dragging a little bit of our chain that we could not get rid of.
+He spoke much and with energy, against this abuse; but with what respect
+for religion in general. With what reverence did he express himself for
+the bishops! How heartily did he wish them many forty crowns a year,
+that they might spend them in their dioceses in good works.
+
+He also wished that all the country vicars might have a number of forty
+crowns, that they might live with decency.
+
+"It is a sad thing," said he, "that a vicar should be obliged to dispute
+with his flock for two or three sheaves of corn, and that he should not
+be amply paid by the country. These eternal contests for imaginary
+rights, for the tithes, destroy the respect that is owing to them. The
+unhappy cultivator who shall have already paid to the collectors his
+tenth penny, and the twopence a livre, and the tax, and the capitation,
+and the purchase of his exemption from lodging soldiers,--after he shall
+have lodged soldiers,--for this unfortunate man, I say, to see the vicar
+take away in addition the tithe of his produce, he can no longer look on
+him as his pastor, but as one that flays him alive,--that tears from
+him the little skin that is left him. He feels but too sensible, that
+while they are, _jure divino_, robbing him of his tenth sheaf, they have
+the diabolical cruelty not to give him credit for all that it will have
+cost him to make that sheaf grow. What then remains to him for himself
+and family? Tears, want, discouragement, despair, and thus he dies of
+fatigue and misery. If the vicar were paid by the country, he would be a
+comfort to his parishioners, instead of being looked on by them as their
+enemy."
+
+The worthy man melted as he uttered these words; he loved his country,
+and the public good was his idol. He would sometimes emphatically say,
+"What a nation would the French be if it pleased!" We went to see his
+son, whom the mother, a very neat and clean woman, was nursing. "Alas!"
+said the father, "here thou art, poor child, and hast nothing to pretend
+to but twenty-three years of life, and forty crowns a year."
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+ON PROPORTIONS.
+
+
+The produce of the extremes is equal to the produce of the means: but
+two sacks of corn stolen, are not, to those who stole them, as the loss
+of their lives is to the interest of the person from whom they were
+stolen.
+
+The prior of ----, from whom two of his domestic servants in the country
+had stolen two measures of corn, has just had the two delinquents
+hanged. This execution has cost him more than all his harvest has been
+worth to him; and since that time he has not been able to get a servant.
+
+If the laws had ordained that such as stole their master's corn should
+work in his grounds, during their lives in fetters, and with a bell at
+their neck fixed to a collar, the prior would have been a considerable
+gainer by it.
+
+"Terror should be preventively employed against crimes;" very true: but
+work, on compulsion, and lasting shame, strike more terror than the
+gallows.
+
+[Illustration: The rack.--"I was summoned to give evidence against a
+miller, who has been put to the torture, ordinary and extraordinary, and
+who has been found innocent. I saw him faint away under redoubled
+tortures. I heard the crash of his bones. His outcries and screams of
+agony are not yet out of my ears; they haunt me. I shed tears for pity,
+and shudder with horror."]
+
+There was, some months ago at London, a malefactor who had been
+condemned to be transported to America to work there at the sugar works
+with the negroes. In England, any criminal, as in many other countries,
+may get a petition presented to the king, either to obtain a free
+pardon, or a mitigation of the sentence. This one presented a petition
+to be hanged, alleging that he mortally hated work, and that he had
+rather suffer strangling for a minute, than to make sugar all his
+lifetime.
+
+Others may think otherwise, every one to his taste. But it has been
+already said, and cannot be too often repeated, that a man hanged is
+good for nothing, and that punishments ought to be useful.
+
+Some years ago, in Turkey, two young men were condemned to be impaled,
+for having, (without taking off their caps,) stood to see the procession
+of the Lama pass by. The Emperor of China, who is a man of very good
+sense, said, that for his part, he should have condemned them to walk
+bareheaded, in every public procession, for three months afterwards.
+
+"Proportion punishments to crimes," says the Marquis Beccaria; but those
+who made the laws were not geometricians.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I hate the laws of Draco, which punish equally crimes and faults,
+wickedness and folly. Let us,--especially in all litigations,--in all
+dissensions, in all quarrels,--distinguish the aggressor from the party
+offended, the oppressor from the oppressed. An offensive war is the
+procedure of a tyrant; he who defends himself is in the character of a
+just man.
+
+As I was absorbed in these reflections, the Man of Forty Crowns came to
+me all in tears. I asked, with emotion, if his son, who was by right to
+live twenty-three years, was dead?
+
+"No," said he, "the little one is very well, and so is my wife; but I
+was summoned to give evidence against a miller, who has been put to the
+torture, ordinary and extraordinary, and who has been found innocent. I
+saw him faint away under redoubled tortures. I heard the crash of his
+bones. His outcries and screams of agony are not yet out of my ears;
+they haunt me. I shed tears for pity, and shudder with horror."
+
+His tears drew mine. I trembled, too, like him; for I have naturally an
+extreme sensibility.
+
+My memory then represented to me the dreadful fate of the Calas family!
+A virtuous mother in irons,--her children in tears, and forced to fly,
+her house given up to pillage,--a respectable father of a family broken
+with torture, agonizing on a wheel, and expiring in the flames; a son
+loaded with chains, and dragged before the judges, one of whom said to
+him:
+
+_"We have just now broken your father on the wheel; we will break you
+alive too."_
+
+I remembered the family of Sirven, who one of my friends met with among
+the mountains covered with ice, as they were flying from the persecution
+of a judge as ignorant as he was unjust. This judge (he told me) had
+condemned an innocent family to death on a supposition, without the
+least shadow of proof, that the father and mother, assisted by two of
+their daughters, had cut the throat of the third, and drowned her
+besides, for going to mass. I saw in judgments of this kind, at once an
+excess of stupidity, of injustice, and of barbarity.
+
+The Man of Forty Crowns joined with me in pitying human nature. I had in
+my pocket the discourse of an attorney-general of Dauphiny, which turned
+upon very important matters. I read to him the following passages:
+
+"Certainly those must have been truly great men, who, at first, dared to
+take upon themselves the office of governing their fellow creatures, and
+to set their shoulders to the burthen of the public welfare; who, for
+the sake of the good they meant to do to men, exposed themselves to
+their ingratitude, and for the public repose renounced their own; who
+made themselves, as one may say, middle-men between their
+fellow-creatures and Providence, to compose for them, by artifice, a
+happiness which Providence seems otherwise to have refused to them by
+any other means.
+
+"What magistrate, was ever so careless of his responsibilities and
+duties to humanity as to entertain such ideas? Could he, in the solitude
+of his closet, without shuddering with horror and pity, cast his eyes on
+those papers, the unfortunate monuments of gilt or of innocence? Should
+he not think he hears a plaintive voice and groans issue from those
+fatal writings, and press him to decide the destiny of a subject, of a
+husband, of a father, or of a whole family? What judge can be so
+unmerciful (if he is charged with but one single process) as to pass in
+cold blood before the door of a prison? Is it I (must he say to himself)
+who detain in that execrable place my fellow-creature, perhaps my
+countryman, one of humankind, in short? Is it I that confine him every
+day,--that shut those execrable doors upon him? Perhaps despair will
+have seized him. He sends up to heaven my name loaded with his curses;
+and doubtless calls to witness against me that great Judge of the world,
+who observes us, and will judge us both."
+
+"Here a dreadful sight presents itself on a sudden to my eyes: The
+judge, tired with interrogating bywords, has recourse to interrogation
+by tortures. Impatient in his inquiries and researches, and perhaps
+irritated at their inutility, he has brought to him torches, chains,
+levers, and all those instruments invented for producing pain. An
+executioner comes to interpose in the functions of the magistracy, and
+terminates by violence a judicial interrogation.
+
+"Gentle philosophy! Thou who never seekest truth but with attention and
+patience, couldst thou expect, in an age that takes thy name, that such
+instruments would be employed to discover that truth?
+
+"Can it be really true, that our laws approve this inconceivable method,
+and that custom consecrates it?
+
+"Their laws imitate their prejudices; their public punishments are as
+cruel as their private vengeance; and the acts of their reason are
+scarce less unmerciful than those of their passions. What can be the
+cause of this strange contrariety? It is because our prejudices are
+ancient, and our morality new; it is because we are as penetrated with
+our opinions as we are inattentive to our ideas; it is because our
+passion for pleasures hinders us from reflecting on our wants, and that
+we are more eager to live than to direct ourselves right; it is, in a
+word, because our morals are gentle without being good; it is because we
+are polite, and are not so much as humane."
+
+These fragments, which eloquence had dictated to humanity, filled the
+heart of my friend with a sweet consolation. He admired with tenderness.
+
+"What!" said he, "are such masterpieces as these produced in a province?
+I had been told that Paris was all the world, or the only place in it."
+
+"It is," said I, "the only place for producing comic operas; but there
+are at this time, in the provinces, magistrates who think, with the same
+virtue and express themselves with the same force. Formerly, the oracles
+of justice, like those of morality, were nothing but matter of mere
+ridicule. Dr. Balordo declaimed at the bar, and Harlequin in the pulpit.
+Philosophy has at length come, and has said, 'Do not speak in public,
+unless to set forth new and useful truths, with the eloquence of
+sentiment and of reason.'"
+
+But, say the praters, if we have nothing new to say, what then? Why,
+hold your tongues, replies philosophy. All those vain discourses for
+parade, that contain nothing but phrases, are like the fire on the eve
+of St. John's, kindled on that day of the year in which there is the
+least want of it to heat one's self--it causes no pleasure, and not so
+much as the ashes of it remain.
+
+Let all France read good books. But notwithstanding all the progress of
+the human understanding, there are few that read; and among those who
+sometimes seek instruction, the reading for the most part is very ill
+chosen. My neighbors, men and women, pass their time, after dinner, at
+playing an English game, which I have much difficulty to pronounce,
+since they call it whist. Many good citizens, many thick heads, who take
+themselves for good heads, tell you, with an air of importance, that
+books are good for nothing. But, Messieurs, the critics, do not you know
+that you are governed only by books? Do not you know that the statutes,
+the military code, and the gospel, are books on which you continually
+depend? Read; improve yourselves. It is reading alone that invigorates
+the understanding; conversation dissipates it; play contracts it.
+
+Thus it was that the Man of Forty Crowns proceeded to form, as one may
+say, his head and his heart. He not only succeeded to the inheritance of
+his two fair cousins, but he came also to a fortune left by a very
+distant relation, who had been a sub-farmer of the military hospitals,
+where he had fattened himself on the strict abstinence to which he had
+put the wounded soldiers. This man never would marry, he never would own
+any of his relations. He lived in the height of debauchery, and died at
+Paris of a surfeit. He was, as any one may see, a very useful member of
+the state.
+
+Our new philosopher was obliged to go to Paris to get possession of the
+inheritance of this relative. At first, the farmers of the domain
+disputed it with him. He had the good luck, however, to gain his cause,
+and the generosity to give to the poor of his neighborhood, who had not
+their contingent of forty crowns a year, a part of the spoils of the
+deceased son of fortune. After which he set himself about satisfying his
+passion for having a library.
+
+He read every morning and made extracts. In the evening, he consulted
+the learned to know in what language the serpent had talked to our good
+mother; whether the soul is in the callous body, or in the pineal gland;
+whether St. Peter lived five and twenty years at Rome; what specific
+difference there is between a throne and a dominion; and why the negroes
+have a flat nose. He proposed to himself, besides, never to govern the
+state, nor to write any pamphlets against new dramatic pieces. He was
+called Mr. Andrew, which was his Christian name. Those who have known
+him, do justice to his modesty and to his qualities, both natural and
+acquired.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+A GREAT QUARREL.
+
+
+During the stay of Mr. Andrew at Paris, there happened a very important
+quarrel. The point was, to decide whether Marcus Antoninus was an honest
+man, and whether he was in hell, or in purgatory, or in limbo, waiting
+till the day of resurrection. All the men of sense took the part of
+Marcus Antoninus. They said: Antoninus has been always just, temperate,
+chaste, and beneficent. It is true, he has not so good a place in
+paradise as St. Anthony; for proportions ought to be observed, as has
+been before recommended. But certainly the soul of Antoninus is not
+roasting on a spit in hell. If he is in purgatory, he ought to be
+delivered out of it; there need only be masses said for him. Let the
+Jesuits, who have no longer anything to do, say three thousand masses
+for the repose of the soul of Marcus Antoninus. Putting each mass at
+fifteen pence, they will get two thousand two hundred and fifty livres
+by it. Besides, some respect is owing to a crowned head. He should not
+be lightly damned.
+
+The party opposed to these good people pretended, on the contrary, that
+no compounding for salvation ought to be allowed to Marcus Antoninus;
+that he was a heretic; that the Carpocratians and the Alcgi were not so
+bad as he; that he had died without confession; that it was necessary to
+make an example; that it was right to damn him, if but to teach better
+manners to the emperors of China and Japan,--to those of Persia, Turkey,
+and Morocco,--to the kings of England, Sweden, Denmark, and Prussia, to
+the stadtholder of Holland,--to the avoyers of the Canton of Berne, who
+no more go to confession than did the Emperor Marcus Antoninus; that, in
+short, there is an unspeakable pleasure in passing sentence against a
+dead sovereign, which one could not fulminate against him in his
+lifetime, for fear of losing one's ears.
+
+This quarrel became as furious as was formerly that of the Ursulines and
+the Annonciades. In short, it was feared that it would come to a schism,
+as in the time of the hundred and one Mother Goose's tales, and of
+certain bills payable to the bearer in the other world. To be sure, a
+schism is something very terrible. The meaning of the word is a division
+in opinion, and till this fatal moment all men had been agreed to think
+the same thing.
+
+Mr. Andrew, who was an excellent member of society, invited the chiefs
+of the two parties to sup with him. He is one of the best companions
+that we have. His humor is gentle and lively; his gaiety is not noisy;
+he is open, frank, and easy. He has not that sort of wit which seems to
+aim at stifling that of others. The authority which he conciliates to
+himself is due to nothing but his graceful manner, to his moderation,
+and to a round good-natured face, which is quite persuasive. He could
+have brought to sup cheerfully together a Corsican and a Genoese,--a
+representative of Geneva and a negative man, the mufti and an
+archbishop. He managed so dextrously, as to make the first stroke that
+the disputants of both parties aimed at each other fall to the ground,
+by turning off the discourse, and by telling a very diverting tale,
+which pleased equally the damning and the damned. In short, when they
+had got a little good-humored and elevated with wine, he made them sign
+an agreement, that the soul of Marcus Antoninus should remain in _status
+quo_--that is to say, nobody knows where,--till the day of final
+judgment.
+
+The souls of the doctors of divinity returned quietly to their limbos
+after supper, and all was calm. This adjustment of the quarrel did great
+honor to the Man of Forty Crowns; and, since then, whenever any very
+peevish virulent dispute arose among men of letters, or among men not of
+letters, the advice given was, "_Gentlemen, go and sup at Master
+Andrew's!_"
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+A RASCAL REPULSED.
+
+
+The reputation which Mr. Andrew had acquired for pacifying quarrels,--by
+giving good suppers,--drew upon him last week a singular visit. A dark
+complexioned man, shabbily enough dressed, rather crook-backed, with his
+head leaning toward one shoulder, a haggard eye, and dirty hands, asked
+to be invited to a supper with his enemies.
+
+"Who are your enemies?" said Mr. Andrew, "and who are you?"
+
+"Alas, sir," said he, "I am forced to confess that I am taken for one of
+those wretches that compose libels to get bread, and who are forever
+crying out,--'Religion,--Religion,--Religion,' in order to come at some
+little benefice. I am accused of having caluminated some of the most
+truly religious subjects, the most sincere adorers of divinity, and the
+most honest men of the kingdom. It is true, sir, that in the heat of
+composition, there often fall from the pen of those of my trade, certain
+little inadvertencies or slips, which are taken for gross errors; and
+some liberties taken with the truth, which are termed impudent lies. Our
+zeal is looked upon in the light of a horrid mixture of villainy and
+fanaticism. It has been alleged, that while we are insnaring the easy
+faith of some silly old women, we are the scorn and execration of all
+the men of worth who can read.
+
+"My enemies are the principal members of the most illustrious academies
+of Europe, writers much esteemed, and beneficent members of society. I
+have but just published a book under the title of _Anti-philosophical_.
+I had nothing but the best intentions, and yet no one would buy my book.
+Those to whom I made presents of it, threw it into the fire, telling me
+it was not only anti-reasonable, but anti-christian, and extremely
+anti-decent."
+
+"Well, then!" said Mr. Andrew to him, "follow the example of those to
+whom you presented your libel, throw it into the fire, and let no more
+be said of it. It is unnecessary to ask you to sup with men of wit, who
+can never be your enemies, since they will never read you."
+
+"Could not you, sir, at least," said the hypocrite to him, "reconcile me
+with the relations of the deceased Monsieur de Montesquieu, to whose
+memory I offered an indignity, that I might give honor and glory to the
+reverend father Rout."
+
+"Zounds!" said Mr. Andrew, "the reverend father Rout has been dead this
+long time; go and sup with him."
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+THE GOOD SENSE OF MR. ANDREW.
+
+
+But how greatly did the sense of Mr. Andrew improve in vigor from the
+time he procured a library! He lives with books as with men, and is
+careful in his choice of them. What a pleasure it is to gain
+instruction, to enlarge one's mind by studying the best works of the
+greatest authors.
+
+He congratulates himself on being born at a time when human reason is
+tending toward perfection. "How unhappy should I have been," he used to
+say, "if the age I live in had been that in which they used to condemn
+to the galleys those who wrote against the categories of Aristotle."
+
+Distress had weakened the springs of Mr. Andrew's soul; but good fortune
+restored their elasticity. There are many Andrews in the world to whom
+nothing is wanting but a turn of the wheel of fortune to make of them
+men of true merit. He is now well acquainted with all the affairs of
+Europe, and especially with the progress of the human understanding.
+
+He recently remarked to me, that Reason travels by slow journeys from
+north to south, in company with her two intimate friends, Experience and
+Toleration. Agriculture and Commerce attend them. When Reason presented
+herself in Italy, the congregation of the Index sternly repulsed her.
+All she could do, was to secretly send some of her agents, who, in spite
+of her enemies, do some good. Let but some years more pass, and it is to
+be hoped that the country of the Scipios will no longer be that of
+harlequins in monks' habits.
+
+She has sometimes met with cruel foes in France; but she has now so many
+friends in that kingdom, that she stands a good chance of at length
+becoming first minister there.
+
+When she presented herself in Bavaria and Austria, she found two or
+three great wig-blocks that stared at her with stupid and astonished
+eyes. Their greeting was: "Madam, we never heard of you; we do not know
+you." Her answer to which was: "Gentlemen, in time you will come to know
+me, and to love me. I have been well received at Berlin, at Moscow, at
+Copenhagen, at Stockholm. It is long ago that I have been naturalized by
+Act of Parliament in England, through the labors of Locke, Gordon,
+Trenchard, Lord Shaftsbury, and a number of others of the same nation.
+You will, some day or other, confer on me the like grant. I am the
+daughter of Time. I expect every thing from my father."
+
+When she passed over the frontiers of Spain and Portugal, she blessed
+God on observing that the fires of the Inquisition were less frequently
+kindled. She rejoiced on seeing the Jesuits expelled; but was afraid
+that, while the country had been cleared of the foxes, it was still left
+exposed to the ravages of wolves.
+
+If she makes any fresh attempts to gain entrance into Italy it is
+thought she will begin by establishing herself at Venice; and that she
+will take up her abode in the kingdom of Naples, in spite of the
+liquefaction of the saint's blood in that country, which awakens in her
+mind mournful reflections on human credulity. It is pretended, that she
+has an infallible secret for untying the strings of a crown, which are
+entangled, nobody knows how, in those of a mitre.
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+The GOOD SUPPER AT MR. ANDREW'S.
+
+
+We supped at Mr. Andrew's yesterday, together with a Doctor Sorbonne,
+with Monsieur Pinto, the celebrated Jew, with the Chaplain of the
+Protestant chapel of the Dutch Embassador, the secretary of the Prince
+Galitzin of the Greek church, a Calvinist Swiss Captain, two
+philosophers, and three Ladies of great wit.
+
+The supper was a very long one; and yet, so polite it must be owned we
+are grown--so much is one afraid at supper to give any cause of offence
+to one's brethren, that there was no more disputing upon religion than
+as if not one of those at table had ever had any. It is not so with the
+Regent Coge, and the ex-Jesuit Patouillet, and with all the animals of
+that kind. Those pitiful creatures will say more stupidly abusive things
+in one pamphlet of two pages, than the best company in Paris can say
+agreeable and instructive ones in a supper of four hours. And what is
+stranger yet, they dare not tell a man to his face, what they have the
+impudence to print.
+
+The conversation turned at first on a piece of pleasantry in the Persian
+Letters, in which it is repeated, after a number of grave personages,
+that the world is not only growing worse, but that it is becoming
+depopulated, so that if the proverb should have any truth in it, that
+"the more fools there are," "the more laughter," laughing is likely to
+be soon banished from the face of the earth.
+
+The Doctor of Sorbonne assured us that, in fact, the world was almost
+reduced to nothing. He quoted the Father Petavius, who demonstrates that
+in less than three hundred years, the descendants of one of the sons of
+Noah (I forget whether it was Shem or Japhet), amounted to six hundred
+and twelve millions three hundred and fifty-eight thousand true
+believers within two hundred and eighty-five years after the universal
+deluge.
+
+Mr. Andrew asked, why in the time of Philip de Bel, that is to say,
+about three hundred years after Hugh Capet, there were not six hundred
+and twenty-three thousand millions of princes of the royal family?
+
+"It is," said the Doctor of Sorbonne, "because the stock of faith has
+greatly decreased."
+
+A great deal was said about Thebes and its hundred gates, and of the
+million of soldiers that issued out of those gates with the twenty
+thousand chariots of war.
+
+"Shut the book there," said Mr. Andrew. "Since I have taken to reading,
+I beg to suspect that the same genius that wrote Garagantua, used of
+yore to write all the histories."
+
+"But, in short," said one of the company, "Thebes, Memphis, Babylon,
+Nineveh, Troy, Seleucia, were great cities once, and now no longer
+exist."
+
+"Granted," answered the secretary of the Prince Galitzin; "but Moscow,
+Constantinople, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Lyons, (which is better than
+ever Troy was,) and all the towns of France, Germany, Spain, and the
+North, were then deserts."
+
+The Swiss captain, a gentleman of great knowledge, owned to us, that
+when his ancestors took it into their heads to quit their mountains and
+their precipices, to go and take forcible possession, as was but
+reasonable, of a finer country, Cæsar, who saw with his own eyes the
+list of those emigrants, found that their number amounted to three
+hundred and sixty-eight thousand, inclusive of the old, the children,
+and the women. At this time, the single canton of Berne possesses as
+many inhabitants, which is not quite the half of Switzerland, and I can
+assure you, that the thirteen cantons have above seven hundred and
+twenty thousand souls, including the natives who are serving or carrying
+on business in other countries. From such data, gentlemen of learning
+make absurd calculations, and they base fallacious systems on no better
+footing.
+
+The question next agitated was, whether the citizens of Rome, in the
+time of the Cæsars, were richer than the citizens of Paris, in the time
+of Monsieur Silhouette?
+
+"Oh," says Mr. Andrew, "this is a point on which I have some call to
+speak. I was a long time the Man of Forty Crowns; but I conceive that
+the citizens of Rome had more. Those illustrious robbers on the highway
+pillaged the finest countries of Asia, of Africa, and of Europe. They
+lived splendidly on the produce of their rapines; but yet there were
+doubtless some beggars at Rome. I am persuaded that, among those
+conquerors of the world, there were some reduced to an income of forty
+Crowns a year, as I formerly was."
+
+"Do you know," said a learned member of the Academy of Inscriptions and
+Belles Lettres, "that it cost Lucullus for every supper he gave in the
+saloon of Apollo, thirty-nine thousand three hundred and twelve livres
+of our money; but that the celebrated epicurean Atticus did not expend
+above two hundred and thirty livres a month for his table."
+
+"If that be true," said I, "he deserved to be president of the
+Miser-society, lately established in Italy. I have read, as you have
+done, in Florus, that incredible anecdote; but, perhaps Florus had never
+supped with Atticus, or else his text, like so many others, has been
+corrupted by copyists. No Florus shall ever make me believe that the
+friend of Cæsar and of Pompey, of Cicero and of Antony, all of whom were
+often entertained at his house, got off for something less than ten
+Louis d'ors a month. _But thus exactly 'tis that history is written._"
+
+Madam Andrew, for her part, told the learned member of the Academy, that
+if he would keep her table for ten times as much, she would be greatly
+obliged to him.
+
+I am persuaded, that this evening at Mr. Andrew's cost him as much as
+the monthly expense of Atticus. As for the ladies, they expressed a
+doubt whether the suppers of Rome were more agreeable than those of
+Paris. The conversation was very gay, though leaning a little to the
+learned. There was no talk of new fashions, nor of the ridiculous part
+of any one's character or conduct, nor of the scandalous history of the
+day.
+
+The question upon luxury was discussed and searched to the bottom. It
+was mooted whether or not luxury had been the ruin of the Roman empire;
+and it was proved that the two empires of the east and west owed their
+destruction to nothing but to religious controversies, and to the monks;
+and, in fact, when Alaric took Rome, its whole attention was engrossed
+by theological disputes; when Mahomet took Constantinople, the monks
+defended much better the eternity of the light of Mount Thabor, which
+they saw on their navel,[1] than they defended the town against the
+Turks.
+
+One of our men of learning made a very significant remark. It was that
+those two great empires were annihilated, but that the works of Virgil,
+Horace, and Ovid still exist.
+
+From the age of Augustus, they made but one skip to the age of Louis the
+XIVth. A lady put the question, why it was that with a great deal of wit
+there was no longer produced scarcely any work of genius?
+
+Mr. Andrew answered, that it was because such works had been produced in
+the last age. This idea was fine spun, and yet solidly true. It bore a
+thorough handling. After that, they fell with some harshness upon a
+Scotchman, who had taken it into his head to give rules to taste, and to
+criticise the most admirable passages of Racine, without understanding
+French. But there was one Denina still more severely treated. He had
+abused Montesquieu's _Spirit of Laws_, without comprehending him, and
+had especially censured what is the most liked and approved in that
+work.
+
+This recalled to my mind Boileau's making a parade of his affected
+contempt of Tasso. One of the company advanced that Tasso, with all his
+faults, was as superior to Homer, as Montesquieu, with his still greater
+imperfections, was above the farrago of Grotius. But there was presently
+a strong opposition made to these false criticisms, dictated by national
+hatred and prejudice. The Seignior Denina was treated as he deserved,
+and as pedants ought to be by men of wit.
+
+It was especially remarked, with much sagacity, that the greatest part
+of the literary works of this age, as well as of the conversations,
+turned on the examination of the masterpieces of the last century; in
+which we are like disinherited children, who are taking an estimate of
+their father's estate. It was confessed that philosophy had made great
+progress, but that the language and style was somewhat corrupted.
+
+It is the nature of all these conversations, to make transitions from
+one subject to another. All these objects of curiosity, of science, and
+of taste, soon vanished, to give way to the great scene which the
+Empress of Russia, and the King of Poland, were giving to the world.
+They had been just raising up and restoring the rights of oppressed
+humanity, and establishing liberty of conscience in a part of the globe
+of a much greater extent than the old Roman Empire. This service done
+to human kind, this example given to so many courts, was mentioned with
+the applause it deserved. Healths were drank to the philosophical
+empress, to the royal philosopher, and to the philosophical primate,
+with the wish of their having many imitators. Even the doctors of
+Sorbonne admired them; for there are some persons of good sense in that
+body, as there were formerly some men of wit among the Bœotians.
+
+The Russian secretary astonished us with a recital of the great
+establishments they were forming in Russia. It was asked, why people
+were in general more fond of reading the history of Charles the XIIth,
+who passed his life in destroying, than that of Peter the Great, who
+consumed his in creating? On this we concluded, that weakness and a
+frivolous turn of mind are the causes of this preference; that Charles
+the XIIth was the Don Quixote, and Peter the Solon of the North; that
+superficial understandings prefer a wild extravagant heroism, to the
+great views of a legislator: that the particulars of the foundation of a
+town are less pleasing to them, than the rashness of a man, who, at the
+head of only his domestics, braves an army of ten thousand Turks; and
+that, in short, most readers love amusement better than instruction.
+Thence it is, that a hundred women read _The Thousand and One Arabian
+Nights_, for one that reads two chapters of Locke.
+
+What was not talked of at this supper? of which I shall long retain the
+remembrance. It was also in course to say a word of the actors and
+actresses, that eternal subject of the table-talk of Versailles and of
+Paris. It was agreed, that a good declaimer was as rare as a good poet.
+For my part, I must own that Plato's banquet could not have given me
+more pleasure than that of Monsieur and Madame Andrew.
+
+Our very pretty gentlemen, and our very fine ladies, would, doubtless,
+have found it dull, and been tired with it. They pretend to be the only
+good company: but neither Mr. Andrew nor I ever willingly sup with that
+kind of good company.
+
+
+[1] See Gibbon's _History of Christianity_, page 777, for an account of
+the monks of Mount Athos, who adored the divine light, as above
+stated.--E.
+
+
+[Illustration: The Priory entrance]
+
+
+
+
+THE HURON; OR, PUPIL OF NATURE.[1]
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+THE HURON ARRIVES IN FRANCE.
+
+
+One day, Saint Dunstan, an Irishman by nation, and a saint by trade,
+left Ireland on a small mountain, which took its route toward the coast
+of France, and set his saintship down in the bay of St. Malo. When he
+had dismounted, he gave his blessing to the mountain, which, after some
+profound bows, took its leave, and returned to its former place.
+
+Here St. Dunstan laid the foundation of a small priory, and gave it the
+name of the Priory Mountain, which it still keeps, as every body knows.
+
+In the year 1689, the fifteenth day of July, in the evening, the abbot
+Kerkabon, prior of our Lady of the Mountain, happened to take the air
+along the shore with Miss Kerkabon, his sister. The prior, who was
+becoming aged, was a very good clergyman, beloved by his neighbors. What
+added most to the respect that was paid him, was, that among all his
+clerical neighbors, he was the only one that could walk to his bed after
+supper. He was tolerably read in theology; and when he was tired of
+reading St. Augustin, he refreshed himself with Rabelais. All the world
+spoke well of him.
+
+Miss Kerkabon, who had never been married, notwithstanding her hearty
+wishes so to be, had preserved a freshness of complexion in her
+forty-fifth year. Her character was that of a good and sensible woman.
+She was fond of pleasure, and was a devotee.
+
+As they were walking, the prior, looking on the sea, said to his sister:
+
+"It was here, alas! that our poor brother embarked with our dear
+sister-in-law, Madam Kerkabon, his wife, on board the frigate 'Swallow,'
+in 1669, to serve the king in Canada. Had he not been killed, probably
+he would have written to us."
+
+"Do you believe," says Miss Kerkabon, "that our sister-in-law has been
+eaten by the Cherokees, as we have been told?"
+
+"Certain it is, had she not been killed, she would have come back. I
+shall weep for her all my lifetime. She was a charming woman; and our
+brother, who had a great deal of wit, would no doubt have made a
+fortune."
+
+Thus were they going on with mutual tenderness, when they beheld a small
+vessel enter the bay of Rence with the tide. It was from England, and
+came to sell provisions. The crew leaped on shore without looking at the
+prior or Miss, his sister, who were shocked at the little attention
+shown them.
+
+That was not the behavior of a well-made youth, who, darting himself
+over the heads of his companions, stood on a sudden before Miss
+Kerkabon. Being unaccustomed to bowing, he made her a sign with his
+head. His figure and his dress attracted the notice of brother and
+sister. His head was uncovered, and his legs bare. Instead of shoes, he
+wore a kind of sandals. From his head his long hair flowed in tresses, A
+small close doublet displayed the beauty of his shape. He had a sweet
+and martial air.[2] In one hand he held a small bottle of Barbadoes
+water, and in the other a bag, in which he had a goblet, and some sea
+biscuit. He spoke French very intelligibly. He offered some of his
+Barbadoes to Miss Kerkabon and her brother. He drank with them, he made
+them drink a second time, and all this with an air of such native
+simplicity, that quite charmed brother and sister. They offered him
+their service, and asked him who he was, and whither going? The young
+man answered: That he knew not where he should go; that he had some
+curiosity; that he had a desire to see the coast of France; that he had
+seen it, and should return.
+
+The prior, judging by his accent that he was not an Englishman, took the
+liberty of asking of what country he was.
+
+"I am a Huron," answered the youth.
+
+Miss Kerkabon, amazed and enchanted to see a Huron who had behaved so
+politely to her, begged the young man's company to supper. He complied
+immediately, and all three went together to the priory of our Lady of
+the Mountain. This short and round Miss devoured him with her little
+eyes, and said from time to time to her brother:
+
+"This tall lad has a complexion of lilies and roses. What a fine skin he
+has for a Huron!"
+
+"Very true, sister," says the prior.
+
+She put a hundred questions, one after another, and the traveler
+answered always pertinently.
+
+The report was soon spread that there was a Huron at the priory. All the
+genteel company of the country came to supper. The abbot of St. Yves
+came with Miss, his sister, a fine, handsome, well-educated girl. The
+bailiff, the tax-gatherer, and their wives, came all together. The
+foreigner was seated between Miss Kerkabon and Miss St. Yves. The
+company eyed him with admiration. They all questioned him together.
+This did not confound the Huron. He seemed to have taken Lord
+Bolingbroke's motto, _Nil admirari_. But at last, tired out with so much
+noise, he told them in a sweet, but serious tone:
+
+"Gentlemen, in my country one talks after another. How can I answer you,
+if you will not allow me to hear you?"
+
+Reasoning always brings people to a momentary reflection. They were all
+silent.
+
+Mr. Bailiff, who always made a property of a foreigner wherever he found
+him, and who was the first man for asking questions in the province,
+opening a mouth of large size, began:
+
+"Sir, what is your name?"
+
+"I have always been called the _Ingenu_," answered the Huron; "and the
+English have confirmed that name, because I always speak as I think, and
+act as I like."
+
+"But, being born a Huron, how could you come to England?"
+
+"I have been carried thither. I was made prisoner by the English after
+some resistance, and the English, who love brave people, because they
+are as brave and honest as we, proposed to me, either to return to my
+family, or go with them to England. I accepted the latter, having
+naturally a relish for traveling."
+
+"But, sir," says the bailiff, with his usual gravity, "how could you
+think of abandoning father and mother?"
+
+"Because I never knew either father or mother," says the foreigner.
+
+This moved the company; they all repeated:
+
+"Neither father nor mother!"
+
+"We will be in their stead," says the mistress of the house, to her
+brother, the prior: "How interesting this Huron gentleman is!"
+
+The _Ingenu_ thanked her with a noble and proud cordiality, and gave her
+to understand, that he wanted the assistance of nobody.
+
+"I perceive, Mr. Huron," said the huge bailiff, "that you talk better
+French than can be expected from an Indian."
+
+"A Frenchman," answered he, "whom they had made prisoner when I was a
+boy, and with whom I contracted a great friendship, taught it me. I
+rapidly learn what I like to learn. When I came to Plymouth, I met with
+one of your French refugees, whom you, I know not why, call Huguenots.
+He improved my knowledge of your language; and as soon as I could
+express myself intelligibly, I came to see your country, because I like
+the French well enough, if they do not put too many questions."
+
+Notwithstanding this candid remark, the abbé of St. Yves asked him,
+which of the three languages pleased him best, the Huron, English, or
+French?
+
+"The Huron, to be sure," answered the _Ingenu_.
+
+"Is it possible?" cried Miss Kerkabon. "I always thought the French was
+the first of all languages, after that of Low Britany."
+
+Then all were eager to know how, in Huron, they asked for snuff? He
+replied:
+
+"_Taya_."
+
+"What signifies to eat?"
+
+"_Essenten_."
+
+Miss Kerkabon was impatient to know how they called, to make love?
+
+He informed her, _Trovander_; and insisted on it, not without reason,
+that these words were well worth their synonyms in French and English.
+_Trovander_, especially, seemed very pretty to all the company. The
+prior, who had in his library a Huron grammar, which had been given him
+by the Rev. Father Sagar Theodat, a Recollet and famous missionary, rose
+from the table to consult it. He returned quite panting with tenderness
+and joy. He acknowledged the foreigner for a true Huron. The company
+speculated a little on the multiplicity of languages; and all agreed,
+that had it not been for the unfortunate affair of the Tower of Babel,
+all the world would have spoken French.
+
+The inquisitive bailiff, who till then had some suspicions of the
+foreigner, conceived the deepest respect for him. He spoke to him with
+more civility than before, and the Huron took no notice of it.
+
+Miss St. Yves was very curious to know how people made love among the
+Hurons.
+
+"In performing great actions to please such as resemble you." All the
+company admired and applauded. Miss St. Yves blushed, and was extremely
+well pleased. Miss Kerkabon blushed likewise, but was not so well
+pleased. She was a little piqued that this gallantry was not addressed
+to her; but she was so good-natured, that her affection for the Huron
+was not diminished at all. She asked him, with great complacency, how
+many mistresses he had at home.
+
+"Only one," answered the foreigner; "Miss Abacaba, the good friend of my
+dear nurse. The reed is not straighter, nor is ermine whiter,--no lamb
+meeker, no eagle fiercer, nor a stag swifter, than was my Abacaba. One
+day she pursued a hare not above fifty leagues from my habitation: a
+base Algonquin, who dwells an hundred leagues further, took her hare
+from her. I was told of it; I ran thither, and with one stroke of my
+club leveled him with the ground. I brought him to the feet of my
+mistress, bound hand and foot. Abacaba's parents were for burning him,
+but I always had a disrelish for such scenes. I set him at liberty. I
+made him my friend. Abacaba was so pleased with my conduct, that she
+preferred me to all her lovers. And she would have continued to love me,
+had she not been devoured by a bear! I slew the bear, and wore his skin
+a long while; but that has not comforted me."
+
+Miss St. Yves felt a secret pleasure at hearing that Abacaba had been
+his only mistress, and that she was no more; yet she understood not the
+cause of her own pleasure. All eyes were riveted on the Huron, and he
+was much applauded for delivering an Algonquin from the cruelty of his
+countrymen.
+
+The merciless bailiff had now grown so furious, that he even asked the
+Huron what religion he was of; whether he had chosen the English, the
+French, or that of the Huguenots?
+
+"I am of my own religion," said he, "just as you are of yours."
+
+"Lord!" cried Miss Kerkabon, "I see already that those wretched English
+have not once thought of baptizing him!"
+
+"Good heavens," said Miss St. Yves, "how is it possible? How is it
+possible the Hurons should not be Roman Catholics? Have not those
+reverend fathers, the Jesuits, converted all the world?"
+
+The Huron assured her, that no true American had ever changed his
+opinion, and that there was not in their language a word to express
+inconstancy.
+
+These last words extremely pleased Miss St. Yves.
+
+"Oh! we'll baptize him, we'll baptize him," said Miss Kerkabon to the
+prior. "You shall have that honor, my dear brother, and I will be his
+god-mother. The Abbot St. Yves shall present him to the font. It will
+make a fine appearance: it will be talked of all over Britany, and do us
+the greatest honor."
+
+The company were all of the same mind with the mistress of the house;
+they all cried:
+
+"We'll baptize him."
+
+The Huron interrupted them by saying, that in England every one was
+allowed to live as he pleased. He rather showed some aversion to the
+proposal which was made, and could not help telling them, that the laws
+of the Hurons were to the full as good as those of Low Britany. He
+finished with saying, that he should return the next day. The bottles
+grew empty, and the company went to bed.
+
+After the Huron had been conducted to his room, they saw that he spread
+the blankets on the floor, and laid himself down upon them in the finest
+attitude in the world.
+
+
+[1] _Le Huron_ was dramatized, under the name of _Civilization_, by Mr.
+John H. Wilkins, and successfully produced at the City of London
+Theatre, on Wednesday, November 10, 1852. Mr. James Anderson enacted the
+part of _Hercule, the Huron_, and added to his well-earned reputation by
+his correct conception and representation of the Indian character.
+
+Mr. James Wallack, Jr., afterward introduced the play to a New York
+audience at Burton's old Chambers Street Theatre, where it was also
+received with great favor. Unfortunately for dramatic literature, the
+promising young author of _Civilisation_ did not long survive his
+success, but soon filled an early grave.--E.
+
+[2] In Mr. Wilkins's dramatic version of this romance, the Huron is
+described as
+
+     "A modell'd Hercules! Mien, stature, glance,
+      That are the blazons of the inner man,
+      And voice it to the stars! A hero born,
+      Whose air commands respect above a king's;
+      Bearing the stamp from the great mint of heaven,
+      And current to the world!"--E.
+
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+THE HURON, CALLED THE INGENU, ACKNOWLEDGED BY HIS RELATIONS.
+
+
+The _Ingenu_, according to custom, awoke with the sun, at the crowing of
+the cock, which is called in England and Huronia, "the trumpet of the
+day." He did not imitate what is styled good company, who languish in
+the bed of indolence till the sun has performed half its daily journey,
+unable to sleep, but not disposed to rise, and lose so many precious
+hours in that doubtful state between life and death, and who
+nevertheless complain that life is too short.
+
+He had already traversed two or three leagues, and killed fifteen brace
+of game with his rifle, when, upon his return, he found the prior of the
+Lady of the Mountain, with his discreet sister, walking in their
+nightcaps in their little garden. He presented them with the spoils of
+his morning labor, and taking from his bosom a kind of little talisman,
+which he constantly wore about his neck, he entreated them to accept of
+it as an acknowledgment for the kind reception they had given him.
+
+"It is," said he, "the most valuable thing I am possessed of. I have
+been assured that I shall always be happy whilst I carry this little toy
+about me; and I give it you that you may be always happy."
+
+The prior and Miss smiled with pity at the frankness of the _Ingenu_.
+This present consisted of two little portraits, poorly executed, and
+tied together with a greasy string.
+
+Miss Kerkabon asked him, if there were any painters in Huronia?
+
+"No," replied the _Ingenu_, "I had this curiosity from my nurse. Her
+husband had obtained it by conquest, in stripping some of the French of
+Canada, who had made war upon us. This is all I know of the matter."
+
+The prior looked attentively upon these pictures, whilst he changed
+color; his hands trembled, and he seemed much affected.
+
+"By our Lady of the Mountain," he cried out, "I believe these to be the
+faces of my brother, the captain, and his lady."
+
+Miss, after having consulted them with the like emotion, thought the
+same. They were both struck with astonishment and joy blended with
+grief. They both melted, they both wept, their hearts throbbed, and
+during their disorder, the pictures were interchanged between them at
+least twenty times in a second. They seemed to devour the Huron's
+pictures with their eyes. They asked one after another, and even both at
+once, at what time, in what place, and how these miniatures fell into
+the hands of the nurse? They reckoned and computed the time from the
+captain's departure; they recollected having received notice that he had
+penetrated as far as the country of the Hurons; and from that time they
+had never heard anything more of him.
+
+The Huron had told them, that he had never known either father or
+mother. The prior, who was a man of sense, observed that he had a little
+beard, and he knew very well that the Hurons never had any. His chin was
+somewhat hairy; he was therefore the son of an European. My brother
+and sister-in-law were never seen after the expedition against the
+Hurons, in 1669. My nephew must then have been nursing at the breast.
+The Huron nurse has preserved his life, and been a mother to him. At
+length, after an hundred questions and answers, the prior and his sister
+concluded that the Huron was their own nephew. They embraced him, whilst
+tears streamed from their eyes: and the Huron laughed to think that an
+Indian should be nephew to a prior of Lower Britany.
+
+[Illustration: The Huron identified.--"By our Lady of the Mountain," he
+cried out, "I believe these to be the faces of my brother, the captain,
+and his lady."]
+
+All the company went down stairs. Mr. de St. Yves, who was a great
+physiognomist, compared the two pictures with the Huron's countenance.
+They observed, very skillfully, that he had the mother's eyes, the
+forehead and nose of the late Captain Kerkabon, and the cheeks common to
+both.
+
+Miss St. Yves, who had never seen either father or mother, was
+strenuously of opinion, that the young man had a perfect resemblance of
+them. They all admired Providence, and wondered at the strange events of
+this world. In a word, they were so persuaded, so convinced of the birth
+of the Huron, that he himself consented to be the prior's nephew,
+saying, that he would as soon have him for his uncle as another.
+
+The prior went to return thanks in the church of our Lady of the
+Mountain; whilst the Huron, with an air of indifference, amused himself
+with drinking in the house.
+
+The English who had brought him over, and who were ready to set sail,
+came to tell him that it was time to depart.
+
+"Probably," said he to them, "you have not met with any of your uncles
+and aunts. I shall stay here. Go you back to Plymouth. I give you all my
+clothes, as I have no longer occasion for anything in this world, since
+I am the nephew of a prior."
+
+The English set sail, without being at all concerned whether the Huron
+had any relations or not in Lower Britany.
+
+After the uncle, the aunt, and the company had sung _Te Deum_; after the
+bailiff had once more overwhelmed the Huron with questions, after they
+had exhausted all their astonishment, joy, and tenderness, the prior of
+the Mountain and the Abbé of St. Yves concluded that the Huron should be
+baptized with all possible expedition. But the case was very different
+with a tall robust Indian of twenty-two, and an infant who is
+regenerated without his knowing anything of the matter. It was necessary
+to instruct him, and this appeared difficult; for the Abbé of St. Yves
+supposed that a man who was not born in France, could not be endowed
+with common sense.
+
+The prior, indeed, observed to the company, that though, in fact, the
+ingenious gentleman, his nephew, was not so fortunate as to be born in
+Lower Britany, he was not, upon that account, any way deficient in
+sense; which might be concluded from all his answers; and that,
+doubtless, nature had greatly favored him, as well on his father's as on
+his mother's side?
+
+He then was asked if he had ever read any books? He said, he had read
+Rabelais translated into English, and some passages in Shakespeare,
+which he knew by heart; that these books belonged to the captain, on
+board of whose ship he came from America to Plymouth; and that he was
+very well pleased with them. The bailiff failed not to put many
+questions to him concerning these books.
+
+"I acknowledge," said the Huron, "I thought, in reading them, I
+understood some things, but not the whole."
+
+The Abbé of St. Yves reflected upon this discourse, that it was in this
+manner he had always read, and that most men read no other way.
+
+"You have," said he, to the Huron, "doubtless read the bible?"
+
+"Never, Mr. Abbé: it was not among the captain's books. I never heard it
+mentioned."
+
+"This is the way with those cursed English," said Miss Kerkabon; "they
+think more of a play of Shakespeare's, a plum pudding, or a bottle of
+rum, than they do of the Pentateuch. For this reason they have never
+converted any Indians in America. They are certainly cursed by God; and
+we shall conquer Jamaica and Virginia from them in a very short time."
+
+Be this as it may, the most skillful tailor in all St. Malo was sent for
+to dress the Huron from head to foot. The company separated, and the
+bailiff went elsewhere to display his inquisitiveness. Miss St. Yves, in
+parting, returned several times to observe the young stranger, and made
+him lower courtesies than ever she did any one in her life.
+
+The bailiff, before he took his leave, presented to Miss St. Yves a
+stupid dolt of a son, just come from college; but she scarce looked at
+him, so much was she taken up with the politeness of the Huron.
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+THE HURON CONVERTED.
+
+
+The prior finding that he was somewhat advanced in years, and that God
+had sent him a nephew for his consolation, took it into his head that he
+would resign his benefice in his favor, if he succeeded in baptizing him
+and of making him enter into orders.
+
+The Huron had an excellent memory. A good constitution, inherited from
+his ancestors of Lower Britany, strengthened by the climate of Canada,
+had made his head so vigorous that when he was struck upon it he scarce
+felt it; and when any thing was graven in it, nothing could efface it.
+Nothing had ever escaped his memory. His conception was the more sure
+and lively, because his infancy had not been loaded with useless
+fooleries, which overwhelm ours. Things entered into his head without
+being clouded. The prior at length resolved to make him read the New
+Testament. The Huron devoured it with great pleasure; but not knowing at
+what time, or in what country all the adventures related in this book
+had happened, he did not in the least doubt that the scene of action had
+been in Lower Britany; and he swore, that he would cut off Caiphas and
+Pontius Pilate's ears, if ever he met those scoundrels.
+
+His uncle, charmed with this good disposition, soon brought him to the
+point. He applauded his zeal, but at the same time acquainted him that
+it was needless, as these people had been dead upwards of 1690 years.
+The Huron soon got the whole book by heart. He sometimes proposed
+difficulties that greatly embarrassed the prior. He was often obliged to
+consult the Abbé St. Yves, who, not knowing what to answer, brought a
+Jesuit of Lower Britany to perfect the conversion of the Huron.
+
+Grace, at length, operated; and the Huron promised to become a
+Christian. He did not doubt but that the first step toward it was
+circumcision.
+
+"For," said he, "I do not find in the book that was put into my hands a
+single person who was not circumcised. It is therefore evident, that I
+must make a sacrifice to the Hebrew custom, and the sooner the better."
+
+He sent for the surgeon of the village, and desired him to perform the
+operation. The surgeon, who had never performed such an operation,
+acquainted the family, who screamed out. The good Miss Kerkabon trembled
+lest her nephew, whom she knew to be resolute and expeditious, should
+perform the operation unskillfully himself; and that fatal consequences
+might ensue.
+
+The prior rectified the Huron's mistake, representing to him, that
+circumcision was no longer in fashion; that baptism was much more gentle
+and salutary; that the law of grace was not like the law of rigor. The
+Huron, who had much good sense, and was well disposed, disputed, but
+soon acknowledged his error, which seldom happens in Europe among
+disputants. In a word, he promised to let himself be baptized whenever
+they pleased.
+
+But before baptism it was necessary that he should go to confession, and
+this was the greatest difficulty to surmount. The Huron had still in his
+pocket the book his uncle gave him. He did not there find that a single
+apostle had ever been confessed, and this made him very restive. The
+prior silenced him, by showing him, in the epistle of St. James the
+Minor, these words: "Confess your sins to one another." The Huron was
+mute, and confessed his sins to a Recollet. When he had done, he dragged
+the Recollet from the confessional chair, and seizing him with a
+vigorous arm, placed himself in his seat, making the Recollet kneel
+before him:
+
+"Come, my friend, it is said, 'we must confess our sins to one another;'
+I have related to you my sins, and you shall not stir till you recount
+yours."
+
+Whilst he said this, he fixed his great knee against his adversary's
+stomach. The Recollet roared and groaned, till he made the church
+re-echo. The noise brought people to his assistance, who found the
+catechumen cuffing the monk in the name of St. James the Minor. The joy
+diffused at the baptizing at once a Low-Breton, a Huron, and an
+Englishman, surmounted all these singularities. There were even some
+theologians of opinion that confession was not necessary, as baptism
+supplied the place of every thing.
+
+The Bishop of St. Malo was chosen for the ceremony, who flattered, as
+may be believed, at baptizing a Huron, arrived in a pompous equipage,
+followed by his clergy. Miss St. Yves put on her best gown to bless God,
+and sent for a hair dresser from St. Malo's, to shine at the ceremony.
+The inquisitive bailiff brought the whole country with him. The church
+was magnificently ornamented. But when the Huron was summoned to attend
+the baptismal font, he was not to be found.
+
+His uncle and aunt sought for him every where. It was imagined that he
+had gone a hunting, according to his usual custom. Every one present at
+the festival, searched the neighboring woods and villages; but no
+intelligence could be obtained of the Huron. They began to fear he had
+returned to England. Some remembered that he had said he was very fond
+of that country. The prior and his sister were persuaded that nobody was
+baptized there, and were troubled for their nephew's soul. The bishop
+was confounded, and ready to return home. The prior and the Abbé St.
+Yves were in despair. The bailiff interrogated all passengers with his
+usual gravity. Miss Kerkabon melted into tears. Miss St. Yves did not
+weep, but she vented such deep sighs, as seemed to testify her
+sacramental disposition. They were walking in this melancholy mood,
+among the willows and reeds upon the banks of the little river Rence,
+when they perceived, in the middle of the stream, a large figure,
+tolerably white, with its two arms across its breast. They screamed out,
+and ran away. But, curiosity being stronger than any other
+consideration, they advanced softly amongst the reeds; and when they
+were pretty certain they could not be seen, they were willing to descry
+what it was.
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+THE HURON BAPTIZED.
+
+
+The prior and the abbé having run to the river side, they asked the
+Huron what he was doing?
+
+"In faith," said he, "gentlemen, I am waiting to be baptized. I have
+been an hour in the water, up to my neck, and I do not think it is civil
+to let me be quite exhausted."
+
+"My dear nephew," said the prior to him, tenderly, "this is not the way
+of being baptized in Lower Britany. Put on your clothes, and come with
+us."
+
+Miss St. Yves, listening to the discourse, said in a whisper to her
+companion:
+
+"Miss, do you think he will put his clothes on in such a hurry?"
+
+The Huron, however, replied to the prior:
+
+"You will not make me believe now as you did before. I have studied very
+well since, and I am very certain there is no other kind of baptism. The
+eunuch of Queen Candace was baptized in a rivulet. I defy you to show
+me, in the book you gave me, that people were ever baptized in any other
+way. I either will not be baptized at all, or the ceremony shall be
+performed in the river."
+
+It was in vain to remonstrate to him that customs were altered. He
+always recurred to the eunuch of Queen Candace. And though Miss and his
+aunt, who had observed him through the willows, were authorized to tell
+him, that he had no right to quote such a man, they, nevertheless, said
+nothing;--so great was their discretion. The bishop came himself to
+speak to him, which was a great thing; but he could not prevail. The
+Huron disputed with the bishop.
+
+"Show me," said he, "in the book my uncle gave me, one single man that
+was not baptized in a river, and I will do whatever you please."
+
+His aunt, in despair, had observed, that the first time her nephew
+bowed, he made a much lower bow to Miss St. Yves, than to any one in the
+company--that he had not even saluted the bishop with so much respect,
+blended with cordiality, as he did that agreeable young lady. She
+thought it advisable to apply to her in this great embarrassment. She
+earnestly entreated her to use her influence to engage the Huron to be
+baptized according to the custom of Britany, thinking that her nephew
+could never be a Christian if he persisted in being christened in the
+stream.
+
+[Illustration: The Huron baptized.--"I have been an hour in the water,
+up to my neck, and I do not think it is civil to let me be quite
+exhausted."]
+
+Miss St. Yves blushed at the secret joy she felt in being appointed to
+execute so important a commission. She modestly approached the Huron,
+and squeezing his hand in quite a noble manner, she said to him.
+
+"What, will you do nothing to please me?"
+
+And in uttering these words, she raised her eyes from a downcast look,
+into a graceful tenderness.
+
+"Oh! yes, Miss, every thing you require, all that you command, whether
+it is to be baptized in water, fire, or blood;--there is nothing I can
+refuse you."
+
+Miss St. Yves had the glory of effecting, in two words, what neither the
+importunities of the prior, the repeated interrogations of the bailiff,
+nor the reasoning of the bishop, could effect. She was sensible of her
+triumph; but she was not yet sensible of its utmost latitude.
+
+Baptism was administered, and received with all the decency,
+magnificence, and propriety possible. His uncle and aunt yielded to the
+Abbé St. Yves and his sister the favor of supporting the Huron upon the
+font. Miss St. Yves's eyes sparkled with joy at being a god-mother. She
+was ignorant how much this high title compromised her. She accepted the
+honor, without being acquainted with its fatal consequences.
+
+As there never was any ceremony that was not followed by a good dinner,
+the company took their seats at table after the christening. The
+humorists of Lower Britany said, "they did not choose to have their wine
+baptized." The prior said, "that wine, according to Solomon, cherished
+the heart of man." The bishop added, "that the Patriarch Judah ought to
+have tied his ass-colt to the vine, and steeped his cloak in the blood
+of the grape; and that he was sorry the same could not be done in Lower
+Britany, to which God had not allotted vines." Every one endeavored to
+say a good thing upon the Huron's christening, and strokes of gallantry
+to the god-mother. The bailiff, ever interrogating, asked the Huron, "if
+he was faithful in keeping his promises?"
+
+"How," said he, "can I fail keeping them, since I have deposited them in
+the hands of Miss St. Yves?"
+
+The Huron grew warm; he had drank repeatedly his god-mother's health.
+
+"If," said he, "I had been baptized with your hand, I feel that the
+water which was poured on the nape of my neck would have burnt me."
+
+The bailiff thought that this was too poetical, being ignorant that
+allegory is a familiar figure in Canada. But his god-mother was very
+well pleased.
+
+The Huron had, at his baptism, received the name of Hercules. The bishop
+of St. Malo frequently enquired, who was this tutelar saint, whom he had
+never heard mentioned before? The Jesuit, who was very learned, told
+him, "that he was a saint who had wrought twelve miracles." There was a
+thirteenth, which was well worth the other twelve, but it was not proper
+for a Jesuit to mention it. This was the marriage of fifty girls at one
+time--the daughters of king Thespius. A wag, who was present, related
+this miracle very feelingly. And all judged, from the appearance of the
+Huron, that he was a worthy representative of the saint whose name he
+bore.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+THE HURON IN LOVE.
+
+
+It must be acknowledged, that from the time of this christening and this
+dinner, Miss St. Yves passionately wished that the bishop would again
+make her an assistant with Mr. Hercules in some other fine
+ceremony--that is, the marriage ceremony. However, as she was well
+brought up, and very modest,--she did not entirely agree with herself in
+regard to these tender sentiments; but if a look, a word, a gesture, a
+thought, escaped from her, she concealed it admirably under the veil of
+modesty. She was tender, lively, and sagacious.
+
+As soon as the bishop was gone, the Huron and Miss St. Yves met
+together, without thinking they were in search of one another. They
+spoke together, without premeditating what they said. The sincere youth
+immediately declared, "that he loved her with all his heart; and that
+the beauteous Abacaba, with whom he had been desperately in love in his
+own country, was far inferior to her." Miss replied, with her usual
+modesty, "that the prior, her uncle, and the lady, her aunt, should be
+spoken to immediately; and that, on her side, she would say a few words
+to her dear brother, the Abbé of St. Yves, and that she flattered
+herself it would meet with no opposition."
+
+The youth replied: "that the consent of any one was entirely
+superfluous; that it appeared to him extremely ridiculous to go and ask
+others what they were to do; that when two parties were agreed, there
+was no occasion for a third, to accomplish their union."
+
+"I never consult any one," said he, "when I have a mind to breakfast, to
+hunt, or to sleep. I am sensible, that in love it is not amiss to have
+the consent of the person whom we wish for; but as I am neither in love
+with my uncle nor my aunt, I have no occasion to address myself to them
+in this affair; and if you will believe me, you may equally dispense
+with the advice of the Abbé of St. Yves."
+
+It may be supposed that the young lady exerted all the delicacy of her
+wit, to bring her Huron to the terms of good breeding. She was very
+angry, but soon softened. In a word, it cannot be said how this
+conversation would have ended, if the declining day had not brought the
+Abbé to conduct his sister home. The Huron left his uncle and aunt to
+rest, they being somewhat fatigued with the ceremony, and long dinner.
+He passed part of the night in writing verses in the Huron language,
+upon his well-beloved; for it should be known, that there is no country
+where love has not rendered lovers poets.[1]
+
+The next day his uncle spoke to him in the following manner. "I am
+somewhat advanced in years. My brother has left only a little bit of
+ground, which is a very small matter. I have a good priory. If you will
+only make yourself a sub-deacon, as I hope you will, I will resign my
+priory in your favor; and you will live quite at your ease, after
+having been the consolation of my old age."
+
+The Huron replied:
+
+"Uncle, much good may it do you; live as long as you can. I do not know
+what it is to be a sub-deacon, or what it is to resign, but every thing
+will be agreeable to me, provided I have Miss St. Yves at my disposal."
+
+"Good heavens, nephew! what is it you say? Do you love that beautiful
+young lady so earnestly?"
+
+"Yes, uncle."
+
+"Alas! nephew, it is impossible you should ever marry her."
+
+"It is very possible, uncle; for she did not only squeeze my hand when
+she left me, but she promised she would ask me in marriage. I certainly
+shall wed her."
+
+"It is impossible, I tell you, she is your god-mother. It is a dreadful
+sin for a god-mother to give her hand to her god-son. It is contrary to
+all laws, human and divine."
+
+"Why the deuce, uncle, should it be forbidden to marry one's god-mother,
+when she is young and handsome? I did not find, in the book you gave me,
+that it was wrong to marry young women who assisted at christenings. I
+perceive, every day, that an infinite number of things are done here
+which are not in your book, and nothing is done that is said in it. I
+must acknowledge to you, that this astonishes and displeases me. If I am
+deprived of the charming Miss St. Yves on account of my baptism, I give
+you notice, that I will run away with her and unbaptize myself."
+
+The prior was confounded; his sister wept.
+
+"My dear brother," said she, "our nephew must not damn himself; our holy
+father the pope can give him a dispensation, and then he may be happy,
+in a christian-like manner, with the person he likes."
+
+The ingenuous Hercules embraced his aunt:
+
+"For goodness sake," said he, "who is this charming man, who is so
+gracious as to promote the amours of girls and boys? I will go and speak
+to him this instant."
+
+The dignity and character of the pope was explained to him, and the
+Huron was still more astonished than before.
+
+"My dear uncle," said he, "there is not a word of all this in your
+book; I have traveled, and am acquainted with the sea; we are now upon
+the coast of the ocean, and I must leave Miss St. Yves, to go and ask
+leave to marry her of a man who lives toward the Mediterranean, four
+hundred leagues from hence, and whose language I do not understand! This
+is most incomprehensibly ridiculous! But I will go first to the Abbé St.
+Yves, who lives only a league from hence; and I promise you I will wed
+my mistress before night."
+
+Whilst he was yet speaking, the bailiff entered, and, according to his
+usual custom, asked him where he was going?
+
+"I am going to get married," replied the ingenuous Hercules, running
+along; and in less than a quarter of an hour he was with his charming
+dear mistress, who was still asleep.
+
+"Ah! my dear brother," said Miss Kerkabon to the prior, "you will never
+make a sub-deacon of our nephew."
+
+The bailiff was very much displeased at this journey; for he laid claim
+to Miss St. Yves in favor of his son, who was a still greater and more
+insupportable fool than his father.
+
+
+[1] "Love," says Robert G. Ingersoll, "writes every poem, sings every
+song, paints every picture, chisels every statue--makes kings and queens
+of common clay, and is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the human
+heart."--E.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+THE HURON FLIES TO HIS MISTRESS, AND BECOMES QUITE FURIOUS.
+
+
+No sooner had the ingenuous Hercules reached the house, than having
+asked the old servant, which was his mistress's apartment, he forced
+open the door, which was badly fastened, and flew toward the bed. Miss
+St. Yves, startled out of her sleep, cried.
+
+"Ah! what, is it you! Stop, what are you about?" He answered:
+
+"I am going to marry."
+
+She opposed him with all the decency of a young lady so well educated;
+but the Huron did not understand raillery, and found all evasions
+extremely disagreeable.
+
+"Miss Abacaba, my first mistress," said he, "did not behave in this
+manner; you have no honesty; you promised me marriage, and you will not
+marry; this is being deficient in the first laws of honor."
+
+The outcries of the lady, brought the sagacious Abbé de St. Yves with
+his housekeeper, an old devotee servant, and the parish priest. The
+sight of these moderated the courage of the assailant.
+
+"Good heavens!" cried the Abbé, "my dear neighbor, what are you about?"
+
+"My duty," replied the young man, "I am fulfilling my promises, which
+are sacred."
+
+Miss St. Yves adjusted herself, not without blushing. The lover was
+conducted into another apartment. The Abbé remonstrated to him on the
+enormity of his conduct. The Huron defended himself upon the privileges
+of the law of nature, which he understood perfectly well. The Abbé
+maintained, that the law positive should be allowed all its advantages;
+and that without conventions agreed on between men, the law of nature
+must almost constantly be nothing more than natural felony. Notaries,
+priests, witnesses, contracts, and dispensations, were absolutely
+necessary.
+
+The ingenuous Hercules made answer with the observation constantly
+adopted by savages:
+
+"You are then very great rogues, since so many precautions are
+necessary."
+
+This remark somewhat disconcerted the Abbé.
+
+"There are, I acknowledge, libertines and cheats among us, and there
+would be as many among the Hurons, if they were united in a great city:
+but, at the same time, we have direct, honest, enlightened people; and
+these are the men who have framed the laws. The more upright we are, the
+more readily we should submit to them, as we thereby set an example to
+the vicious, who respect those bounds which virtue has given herself."
+
+This answer struck the Huron. It has already been observed, that his
+mind was well disposed. He was softened by flattering speeches, which
+promised him hopes; all the world is caught in these snares; and Miss
+St. Yves herself appeared, after having been at her toilet. Every thing
+was now conducted with the utmost good breeding.
+
+[Illustration: The separation.]
+
+It was with much difficulty that Hercules was sent back to his
+relations. It was again necessary for the charming Miss St. Yves to
+interfere; the more she perceived the influence she had upon him, the
+more she loved him. She made him depart, and was much affected at it. At
+length, when he was gone, the Abbé, who was not only Miss St. Yves's
+elder brother by many years, but was also her guardian, endeavored to
+wean his ward from the importunities of this dreadful lover. He went to
+consult the bailiff, who had always intended his son for the Abbé's
+sister, and who advised him to place the poor girl in a convent. This
+was a terrible stroke. Such a measure would, to a young lady unaffected
+with any particular passion, have been inexpressible punishment; but to
+a love-sick maid, equally sagacious and tender, it was despair itself.
+
+When the ingenuous Hercules returned to the Prior's, he related all that
+had happened with his usual frankness. He met with the same
+remonstrances, which had some effect upon his mind, though none upon his
+senses; but the next day, when he wanted to return to his mistress, in
+order to reason with her upon the law of nature and the law of
+convention, the bailiff acquainted him, with insulting joy, that she was
+in a convent.
+
+"Very well," said he, "I'll go and reason with her in this convent."
+
+That cannot be, said the bailiff; and then entered into a long
+explanation of the nature of a convent, telling him that this word was
+derived from _conventus_, in the Latin, which signifies "an assembly;"
+and the Huron could not comprehend, why he might not be admitted into
+this assembly. As soon as he was informed that this assembly was a kind
+of prison, in which girls were shut up, a shocking institution, unknown
+in Huronia and England; he became as furious as was his patron Hercules,
+when Euritus, king of Œchalia, no less cruel than the Abbé of St.
+Yves, refused him the beauteous Iola, his daughter, not inferior in
+beauty to the Abbé's sister. He was upon the point of going to set fire
+to the convent to carry off his mistress, or be burnt with her. Miss
+Kerkabon, terrified at such a declaration, gave up all hopes of ever
+seeing her nephew a sub-deacon; and, sadly weeping, she exclaimed: "The
+devil has certainly been in him since he has been christened."
+
+
+
+
+VII.
+
+THE HURON REPULSES THE ENGLISH.
+
+
+The ingenuous Hercules walked toward the sea-coast wrapped in deep and
+gloomy melancholy, with his double charged fusee upon his shoulder, and
+his cutlass by his side, shooting now and then a bird, and often tempted
+to shoot himself; but he had still some affection for life, for the sake
+of his dear mistress; by turns execrating his uncle and aunt, all Lower
+Britany, and his christening; then blessing them, as they had introduced
+him to the knowledge of her he loved. He resolved upon going to burn the
+convent, and he stopped short for fear of burning his mistress. The
+waves of the Channel are not more agitated by the easterly and westerly
+winds, than was his heart by so many contrary emotions.
+
+He was walking along very fast, without knowing whither he was going,
+when he heard the beat of a drum. He saw, at a great distance, a vast
+multitude, part of whom ran toward the coast, and the other part in the
+opposite direction.
+
+A thousand shrieks re-echoed on every side. Curiosity and courage
+hurried him, that instant, toward the spot where the greatest clamor
+arose, which he attained in a few leaps. The commander of the militia,
+who had supped with him at the Prior's, knew him immediately, and he ran
+to the Huron with open arms:
+
+"Ah! it is the sincere American: he will fight for us."
+
+Upon which the militia, who were almost dead with fear, recovered
+themselves, crying with one voice:
+
+"It is the Huron, the ingenuous Huron."
+
+"Gentlemen," said he, "what is the matter? Why are you frightened? Have
+they shut your mistresses up in convents?"
+
+Instantly a thousand confused voices cried out:
+
+"Do you not see the English, who are landing?"
+
+"Very well," replied the Huron, "they are a brave people; they never
+proposed making me a sub-deacon; they never carried off my mistress."
+
+The commander made him understand, that they were coming to pillage the
+Abbé of the Mountain, drink his uncle's wine, and perhaps carry off
+Miss St. Yves; that the little vessel which set him on shore in Britany
+had come only to reconnoitre the coast; that they were committing acts
+of hostility, without having declared war against France; and that the
+province was entirely exposed to them.
+
+"If this he the case," said he, "they violate the law of nature: let me
+alone; I lived a long time among them; I am acquainted with their
+language, and I will speak to them. I cannot think they can have so
+wicked a design."
+
+During this conversation the English fleet approached; the Huron ran
+toward it, and having jumped into a little boat, soon rowed to the
+Admiral's ship, and having gone on board, asked "whether it was true,
+that they were come to ravage the coast, without having honestly
+declared war?"
+
+The Admiral and all his crew burst out into laughter, made him drink
+some punch, and sent him back.
+
+The ingenuous Hercules, piqued at this reception, thought of nothing
+else but beating his old friends for his countrymen and the Prior. The
+gentlemen of the neighborhood ran from all quarters, and joined them;
+they had some cannon, and he discharged them one after the other. The
+English landed, and he flew toward them, when he killed three of them
+with his own hand. He even wounded the Admiral, who had made a joke of
+him. The entire militia were animated with his prowess. The English
+returned to their ships, and went on board; and the whole coast
+re-echoed with the shouts of victory, "Live the king! live the ingenuous
+Hercules!"
+
+Every one ran to embrace him; every one strove to stop the bleeding of
+some slight wounds he had received.
+
+"Ah!" said he, "if Miss St. Yves were here, she would put on a plaster
+for me."
+
+The bailiff, who had hid himself in his cellar during the battle, came
+to pay his compliments like the rest. But he was greatly surprised, when
+he heard the ingenuous Hercules say to a dozen young men, well disposed
+for his service, who surrounded him:
+
+"My friends, having delivered the Abbé of the Mountain is nothing; we
+must rescue a nymph."
+
+The warm blood of these youths was fired at the expression. He was
+already followed by crowds, who repaired to the convent. If the bailiff
+had not immediately acquainted the commandant with their design, and he
+had not sent a detachment after the joyous troop, the thing would have
+been done. The Huron was conducted back to his uncle and aunt, who
+overwhelmed him with tears and tenderness.
+
+"I see very well," said his uncle, "that you will never be either a
+sub-deacon or a prior; you will be an officer, and one still braver than
+my brother the Captain, and probably as poor."
+
+Miss Kerkabon could not stop an incessant flood of tears, whilst she
+embraced him, saying, "he will be killed too, like my brother; it were
+much better he were a sub-deacon."
+
+The Huron had, during the battle, picked up a purse full of guineas,
+which the Admiral had probably lost. He did not doubt but that this
+purse would buy all Lower Britany, and, above all, make Miss St. Yves a
+great lady. Every one persuaded him to repair to Versailles, to receive
+the recompense due to his services. The commandant, and the principal
+officers, furnished him with certificates in abundance. The uncle and
+aunt also approved of this journey. He was to be presented to the king
+without any difficulty. This alone would give him great weight in the
+province. These two good folks added to the English purse a considerable
+present out of their savings. The Huron said to himself, "When I see the
+king, I will ask Miss St. Yves of him in marriage, and certainly he will
+not refuse me." He set out accordingly, amidst the acclamations of the
+whole district, stifled with embraces, bathed in tears by his aunt,
+blessed by his uncle, and recommending himself to the charming Miss St.
+Yves.
+
+
+
+
+VIII.
+
+THE HURON GOES TO COURT. SUPS UPON THE ROAD WITH SOME HUGUENOTS.
+
+
+The ingenuous Hercules took the Saumur road in the coach, because there
+was at that time no other convenience. When he came to Saumur, he was
+astonished to find the city almost deserted, and to see several families
+going away. He was told, that half a dozen years before, Saumur
+contained upwards of fifty thousand inhabitants, and that at present
+there were not six thousand. He mentioned this at the inn, whilst at
+supper. Several Protestants were at table; some complained bitterly,
+others trembled with rage, others, weeping, said, _Nos dulcia linquimus
+arva, nos patriam fugimus_. The Huron, who did not understand Latin, had
+these words explained to him, which signified, "We abandon our sweet
+fields;--We fly from our country."
+
+"And why do you fly from your country, gentlemen?"
+
+"Because we must otherwise acknowledge the Pope."
+
+"And why not acknowledge him? You have no god-mothers, then, that you
+want to marry; for, I am told it is he that grants this permission."
+
+"Ah! sir, this Pope says, that he is master of the domains of kings."
+
+"But, gentlemen, what religion are you of?"
+
+"Why, sir, we are for the most part drapers and manufacturers."
+
+"If the Pope, then, is not the master of your clothes and manufactures,
+you do very well not to acknowledge him; but as to kings, it is their
+business, and why do you trouble yourselves about it?"
+
+Here a little black man took up the argument, and very learnedly set
+forth the grievances of the company. He talked of the revocation of the
+edict of Nantes with so much energy; he deplored, in so pathetic a
+manner, the fate of fifty thousand fugitive families, and of fifty
+thousand others converted by dragoons; that the ingenuous Hercules could
+not refrain from shedding tears.
+
+"Whence arises it," said he, "that so great a king, whose renown expands
+itself even to the Hurons, should thus deprive himself of so many hearts
+that would have loved him, and so many arms that would have served him."
+
+"Because he has been imposed upon, like other great kings," replied the
+little orator, "He has been made to believe, that as soon as he utters a
+word, all people think as he does; and that he can make us change our
+religion, just as his musician Lulli, in a moment, changes the
+decorations of his opera. He has not only already lost five or six
+hundred thousand very useful subjects, but he has turned many of them
+into enemies; and King William, who is at this time master of England,
+has formed several regiments of these identical Frenchmen, who would
+otherwise have fought for their monarch.
+
+"Such a disaster is more astonishing, as the present Pope, to whom Louis
+XIV. sacrifices a part of his people, is his declared enemy. A violent
+quarrel has subsisted between them for nearly nine years. It has been
+carried so far, that France was in hopes of at length casting off the
+yoke, by which it has been kept in subjection for so many ages to this
+foreigner, and, more particularly, of not giving him any more money,
+which is the _primum mobile_ of the affairs of this world. It,
+therefore, appears evident, that this great king has been imposed on, as
+well with respect to his interest, as the extent of his power, and that
+even the magnanimity of his heart has been struck at."
+
+The Huron, becoming more and more interested, asked:
+
+"Who were the Frenchmen who thus deceived a monarch so dear to the
+Hurons?"
+
+"They are the Jesuits," he was answered, "and, particularly, Father la
+Chaise, the kings confessor. It is to be hoped that God will one day
+punish them for it, and that they will be driven out, as they now drive
+us. Can any misfortune equal ours? Mons. de Louvois besets us on all
+sides with Jesuits and dragoons."
+
+"Well gentlemen," replied the Huron, "I am going to Versailles to
+receive the recompense due to my services; I will speak to Mons. de
+Louvois. I am told it is he who makes war from his closet. I shall see
+the king, and I will acquaint him with the truth. It is impossible not
+to yield to this truth, when it is felt. I shall return very soon to
+marry Miss St. Yves, and I beg you will be present at our nuptials."
+
+These good people now took him for some great Lord, who traveled
+_incognito_ in the coach. Some took him for the king's fool.
+
+There was at table a disguised Jesuit, who acted as a spy to the
+Reverend Father de la Chaise. He gave him an account of everything that
+passed, and Father de la Chaise reported it to M. de Louvois. The spy
+wrote. The Huron and the letter arrived almost at the same time at
+Versailles.
+
+
+
+
+IX.
+
+THE ARRIVAL OF THE HURON AT VERSAILLES. HIS RECEPTION AT COURT.
+
+
+The ingenuous Hercules was set down from a public carriage, in the court
+of the kitchens. He asks the chairmen, what hour the king can be seen?
+The chairmen laugh in his face, just as the English Admiral had done:
+and he treated them in the same manner--he beat them. They were for
+retaliation, and the scene had like to have proved bloody, if a soldier,
+who was a gentleman of Britany, had not passed by, and who dispersed the
+mob.
+
+"Sir," said the traveler to him, "you appear to me to be a brave man. I
+am nephew to the Prior of our Lady of the Mountain. I have killed
+Englishmen, and I am come to speak to the king. I beg you will conduct
+me to his chamber."
+
+The soldier, delighted to find a man of courage from his province, who
+did not seem acquainted with the customs of the court, told him it was
+necessary to be presented to M. de Louvois.
+
+"Very well, then, conduct me to M. de Louvois, who will doubtless
+conduct me to the king."
+
+"It is more difficult to speak to M. de Louvois than the king. But I
+will conduct you to Mr. Alexander, first commissioner of war, and this
+will be just the same as if you spoke to the minister."
+
+They accordingly repair to Mr. Alexander's, who is first clerk, but they
+cannot be introduced, he being closely engaged in business with a lady
+of the court, and no person is allowed admittance.
+
+"Well," said the soldier, "there is no harm done, let us go to Mr.
+Alexander's first clerk. This will be just the same as if you spoke to
+Mr. Alexander himself."
+
+The Huron quite astonished, followed him. They remained together half an
+hour in a little anti-chamber.
+
+"What is all this?" said the ingenuous Hercules. "Is all the world
+invisible in this country? It is much easier to fight in Lower Britany
+against Englishmen, than to meet with people at Versailles, with whom
+one hath business."
+
+He amused himself for some time with relating his amours to his
+countryman; but the clock striking, recalled the soldier to his post,
+when a mutual promise was given of meeting on the morrow.
+
+The Huron remained another half hour in the anti-chamber, meditating
+upon Miss St. Yves, and the difficulty of speaking to kings and first
+clerks.
+
+At length the patron appeared.
+
+"Sir," said the ingenuous Hercules, "If I had waited to repulse the
+English as long as you have made me wait for my audience, they would
+certainly have ravaged all Lower Britany without opposition."
+
+These words impressed the clerk. He at length said to the inhabitant of
+Britany, "What is your request?"
+
+"A recompense," said the other: "these are my titles;" showing his
+certificates.
+
+The clerk read, and told him, "that probably he might obtain leave to
+purchase a lieutenancy."
+
+"Me? what, must I pay money for having repulsed the English? Must I pay
+a tax to be killed for you, whilst you are peaceably giving your
+audience here? You are certainly jesting. I require a company of cavalry
+for nothing. I require that the king shall set Miss St. Yves at liberty
+from the convent, and give her to me in marriage. I want to speak to the
+king in favor of fifty thousand families, whom I propose restoring to
+him. In a word, I want to be useful. Let me be employed and advanced."
+
+"What is your name, sir, who talk in such a high style?"
+
+"Oh! oh!" answered the Huron; "you have not then read my certificates?
+This is the way they are treated. My name is _Hercules de Kerkabon_. I
+am christened, and I lodge at the Blue Dial." The clerk concluded, like
+the people at Saumur, that his head was turned, and did not pay him any
+further attention.
+
+The same day, the Reverend Father de la Chaise, confessor to Louis XIV.,
+received his spy's letter, which accused the Breton Kerkabon of favoring
+in his heart the Huguenots, and condemning the conduct of the Jesuits.
+M. de Louvois had, on his side, received a letter from the inquisitive
+bailiff, which depicted the Huron as a wicked, lewd fellow, inclined to
+burn convents, and carry off the nuns.
+
+Hercules, after having walked in the gardens of Versailles, which had
+become irksome to him; after having supped like a native of Huronia and
+Lower Britany: had gone to rest, in the pleasant hope of seeing the king
+the next day; of obtaining Miss St. Yves in marriage; of having, at
+least, a company of cavalry; and of setting aside the persecution
+against the Huguenots. He was rocking himself asleep with these
+flattering ideas, when the _Marechaussée_ entered his chamber, and
+seized upon his double-charged fusee and his great sabre.
+
+They took an inventory of his ready money, and then conducted him to the
+castle erected by King Charles V., son to John II., near the street of
+St. Antoine, at the gate des Tournelles.
+
+What was the Huron's astonishment in his way thither the reader is left
+to imagine. He at first fancied it was all a dream; and remained for
+some time in a state of stupefaction. Presently, transported with rage,
+that gave him more than common strength, he collared two of his
+conductors who were with him in the coach, flung them out of the door,
+cast himself after them, and then dragged the third, who wanted to hold
+him. He fell in the attempt, when they tied him, and replaced him in the
+carriage.
+
+"This, then," said he, "is what one gets for driving the English out of
+Lower Britany! What wouldst thou say, charming Miss St. Yves, if thou
+didst see me in this situation?"
+
+They at length arrived at the place of their destination. He was carried
+without any noise into the chamber in which he was to be locked up, like
+a dead corpse going to the grave. This room was already occupied by an
+old solitary student of Port Royal, named Gordon, who had been
+languishing here for two years.
+
+"See," said the chief of the Marechaussée, "here is company I bring
+you;" and immediately the enormous bolts of this strong door, secured
+with large iron bars, were fastened upon them. These two captives were
+thus separated from all the universe besides.
+
+
+
+
+X.
+
+THE HURON IS SHUT UP IN THE BASTILE WITH A JANSENIST.
+
+
+Mr. Gordon was a healthy old man, of a serene disposition, who was
+acquainted with two great things; the one was, to bear adversity; the
+other, to console the afflicted. He approached his companion with an
+open sympathizing air, and said to him, whilst he embraced him:
+
+"Whoever thou art that is come to partake of my grave, be assured, that
+I shall constantly forget myself to soften thy torments in the infernal
+abyss where we are plunged. Let us adore Providence that has conducted
+us here. Let us suffer in peace, and trust in hope."
+
+These words had the same effect upon the youth as cordial drops, which
+recall a dying person to life, and show to his astonished eyes a glimpse
+of light.
+
+After the first compliments were over, Gordon, without urging him to
+relate the cause of his misfortune, inspired him by the sweetness of his
+discourse and by that interest which two unfortunate persons share with
+each other, with a desire of opening his heart and of disburdening
+himself of the weight which oppressed him; but he could not guess the
+cause of his misfortune, and the good man Gordon was as much astonished
+as himself.
+
+"God must, doubtless," said the Jansenist to the Huron, "have great
+designs upon you, since he conducted you from Lake Ontario into England,
+from thence to France; caused you to be baptized in Lower Britany, and
+has now lodged you here for your salvation."
+
+"I' faith," replied Hercules, "I believe the devil alone has interfered
+in my destiny.[1] My countrymen in America would never have treated me
+with the barbarity that I have here experienced; they have not the least
+idea of it. They are called savages;--they are good people, but rustic,
+and the men of this country are refined villains. I am indeed, greatly
+surprised to have come from another world, to be shut up in this, under
+four bolts with a priest; but I consider what an infinite number of men
+set out from one hemisphere to go and get killed in the other, or are
+cast away in the voyage, and are eaten by the fishes. I cannot discover
+the gracious designs of God over all these people."
+
+Their dinner was brought them through a wicket. The conversation turned
+upon Providence, _lettres de cachet_, and upon the art of not sinking
+under disgrace, to which all men in this world are exposed.
+
+"It is now two years since I have been here," said the old man, "without
+any other consolation than myself and books; and yet I have never been a
+single moment out of temper."
+
+"Ah! Mr. Gordon," cried Hercules, "you are not then in love with your
+god-mother. If you were as well acquainted with Miss St. Yves as I am,
+you would be in a state of desperation."
+
+At these words he could not refrain from tears, which greatly relieved
+him from his oppression.
+
+"How is it then that tears solace us?" said the Huron, "It seems to me
+that they should have quite an opposite effect."
+
+"My son," said the good old man, "every thing is physical about us; all
+secretions are useful to the body, and all that comforts it, comforts
+the soul. We are the machines of Providence."
+
+The ingenuous Huron, who, as we have already observed more than once,
+had a great share of understanding, entered deeply into the
+consideration of this idea, the seeds whereof appeared to be in himself.
+After which he asked his companion.
+
+"Why his machine had for two years been confined by four bolts?"
+
+"By effectual grace," answered Gordon; "I pass for a Jansenist; I know
+Arnaud and Nicole; the Jesuits have persecuted us. We believe that the
+Pope is nothing more than a bishop, like another, and therefore Father
+la Chaise has obtained from the king, his penitent, an order for
+robbing me without any form of justice, of the most precious inheritance
+of man--liberty!"
+
+"This is very strange," said the Huron, "all the unhappy people I have
+met with have been made so solely by the Pope. With respect to your
+effectual grace, I acknowledge I do not understand what you mean. But I
+consider it as a very great favor, that God has let me, in my
+misfortunes, meet with a man, who pours into my heart such consolation
+as I thought myself incapable of receiving."
+
+The conversation became each day more interesting and instructive. The
+souls of the two captives seemed to unite in one body. The old man had
+acquired knowledge, and the young man was willing to receive
+instruction. At the end of the first month, he eagerly applied himself
+to the study of geometry. Gordon made him read _Rohault's Physics_,
+which book was still in fashion, and he had good sense enough to find in
+it nothing but doubts and uncertainties.
+
+He afterward read the first volume of the _Enquiry After Truth_. This
+instructive work gave him new light.
+
+"What!" said he, "do our imagination and our senses deceive us to that
+degree? What, are not our ideas formed by objects, and can we not
+acquire them by ourselves?"
+
+When he had gone through the second volume, he was not so well
+satisfied; and he concluded it was much easier to destroy than to build.
+
+His colleague, astonished that a young ignoramus should make such a
+remark, conceived a very high opinion of his understanding, and was more
+strongly attached to him.
+
+"Your Malebranche," said he to Gordon one day, "seems to have written
+half his book whilst he was in possession of his reason, and the other
+half with the assistance only of imagination and prejudice."
+
+Some days after, Gordon asked him what he thought of the soul, and the
+manner in which we receive our ideas of volition, grace, and free
+agency.
+
+"Nothing," replied the Huron. "If I think sometimes, it is that we are
+under the power of the Eternal Being, like the stars and the
+elements--that he operates everything in us--that we are small wheels of
+the immense machine, of which he is the soul--that he acts according to
+general laws, and not from particular views. This is all that appears to
+me intelligible; all the rest is to me a dark abyss."
+
+"But this, my son, would be making God the author of sin!"
+
+"But, father, your effectual grace would equally make him the author of
+sin; for certainly all those to whom this grace was refused, would sin;
+and is not an all-powerful being who permits evil, virtually the author
+of evil?"
+
+This sincerity greatly embarrassed the good man; he found that all his
+endeavors to extricate himself from this quagmire were ineffectual; and
+he heaped such quantities of words upon one another, which seemed to
+have meaning, but which in fact had none, that the Huron could not help
+pitying him. This question evidently determined the origin of good and
+evil; and poor Gordon was reduced to the necessity of recurring to
+Pandora's box--Oromasdes's egg pierced by Arimanes--the enmity between
+Typhon and Osiris--and, at last, original sin; and these he huddled
+together in profound darkness, without their throwing the least
+glimmering light upon one another. However, this romance of the soul
+diverted their thoughts from the contemplation of their own misery; and,
+by a strange magic, the multitude of calamities dispersed throughout the
+world diminished the sensation of their own miseries. They did not dare
+complain when all mankind was in a state of sufferance.
+
+But in the repose of night, the image of the charming Miss St. Yves
+effaced from the mind of her lover every metaphysical and moral idea. He
+awoke with his eyes bathed in tears; and the old Jansenist forgot his
+effectual grace, and the Abbé of St. Cyran, and even Jansenius himself,
+to afford consolation to a youth whom he had judged guilty of a mortal
+sin.
+
+After these lectures and their reasonings were over, their adventures
+furnished them with subjects of conversation; after this store was
+exhausted, they read together, or separately. The Huron's understanding
+daily increased; and he would certainly have made great progress in
+mathematics, if the thought of Miss St. Yves had not frequently
+distracted him.
+
+He read histories, which made him melancholy. The world appeared to him
+too wicked and too miserable. In fact, history is nothing more than a
+picture of crimes and misfortunes. The crowd of innocent and peaceable
+men are always invisible upon this vast theatre. The _dramatis personæ_
+are composed of ambitious, perverse men. The pleasure which history
+affords is derived from the same source as tragedy, which would languish
+and become insipid, were it not inspired with strong passions, great
+events, and piteous misfortunes. Clio must be armed with a poniard as
+well as Melpomene.
+
+Though the history of France is not less filled with horror than those
+of other nations, it nevertheless appeared to him so disgusting in the
+beginning, so dry in the continuation, and so trifling in the end, (even
+in the time of Henry IV.); ever destitute of grand monuments, or foreign
+to those fine discoveries which have illustrated other nations; that he
+was obliged to resolve upon not being tired, in order to go through all
+the particulars of obscure calamities confined to a little corner of the
+world.
+
+Gordon thought like him. They both laughed with pity when they read of
+the sovereigns of Fezensacs, Fesansaguet, and Astrac: such a study could
+be relished only by their heirs, if they had any. The brilliant ages of
+the Roman Republic made him sometimes quite indifferent as to any other
+part of the globe. The spectacle of victorious Rome, the lawgiver of
+nations, engrossed his whole soul. He glowed in contemplating a people
+who were governed for seven hundred years by the enthusiasm of liberty
+and glory.
+
+Thus rolled days, weeks, and months; and he would have thought himself
+happy in the sanctuary of despair, if he had not loved.
+
+The natural goodness of his heart was softened still more when he
+reflected upon the Prior of our Lady of the Mountain, and the sensible
+Kerkabon.
+
+"What must they think," he would often repeat, "when they can get no
+tidings of me? They must think me an ungrateful wretch." This idea
+rendered him inconsolable. He pitied those who loved him much more than
+he pitied himself.
+
+
+[1] In the play called _Civilization_, Hercules uses the following
+language:
+
+     "In my barbarian days, I spoke the truth:
+      Wrong'd not my neighbor: paid back benefits,
+      With benefit and gratitude to boot;
+      Dealt justly: held a friend to be a gift,
+      Precious as stars dropt down from heaven: bowed
+      Before the works of God: beheld in them
+      His presence, palpable, as at an altar:
+      And worshipp'd heaven at the mountain's foot.
+                                          But this
+      Was Barbarism, I am wiser now;
+      More civilized. I know the way to lie,
+      To cheat, deceive, and be a zealous Christian!"--E.
+
+
+
+
+
+XI.
+
+HOW THE HURON DISCLOSES HIS GENIUS.
+
+
+Reading aggrandizes the soul, and an enlightened friend affords
+consolation. Our captive had these two advantages in his favor which he
+had never expected.
+
+"I shall begin to believe in the Metamorphoses," said he, "for I have
+been transformed from a brute into a man."
+
+He formed a chosen library with part of the money which he was allowed
+to dispose of. His friend encouraged him to commit to writing such
+observations as occurred to him. These are his notes upon ancient
+history:
+
+"I imagine that nations were for a long time like myself; that they did
+not become enlightened till very late; that for many ages they were
+occupied with nothing but the present moment which elapsed: that they
+thought very little of what was past, and never of the future. I have
+traversed five or six hundred leagues in Canada, and I did not meet with
+a single monument: no one is the least acquainted with the actions of
+his predecessors. Is not this the natural state of man? The human
+species of this continent appears to me superior to that of the other.
+They have extended their being for many ages by arts and knowledge. Is
+this because they have beards upon their chins and God has refused this
+ornament to the Americans? I do not believe it; for I find the Chinese
+have very little beard, and that they have cultivated arts for upwards
+of five thousand years. In effect, if their annals go back upwards of
+four thousand years, the nation must necessarily have been united and in
+a flourishing state more than five hundred centuries.
+
+"One thing particularly strikes me in this ancient history of China,
+which is, that almost every thing is probable and natural. I admire it
+because it is not tinctured with anything of the marvelous.
+
+"Why have all other nations adopted fabulous origins? The ancient
+chronicles of the history of France, which, by the by, are not very
+ancient, make the French descend from one Francus, the son of Hector.
+The Romans said they were the issue of a Phrygian, though there was not
+in their whole language a single word that had the least connection
+with the language of Phrygia. The gods had inhabited Egypt for ten
+thousand years, and the devils Scythia, where they had engendered the
+Huns. I meet with nothing before Thucydides but romances similar to the
+Amadis, and far less amusing. Apparitions, oracles, prodigies, sorcery,
+metamorphoses, are interspersed throughout with the explanation of
+dreams, which are the bases of the destiny of the greatest empires and
+the smallest states. Here are speaking beasts, there brutes that are
+adored, gods transformed into men, and men into gods. If we must have
+fables, let us, at least, have such as appear the emblem of truth. I
+admire the fables of philosophers, but I laugh at those of children, and
+hate those of impostors."
+
+He one day hit upon a history of the Emperor Justinian. It was there
+related, that some Appedeutes of Constantinople had delivered, in very
+bad Greek, an edict against the greatest captain of the age, because
+this hero had uttered the following words in the warmth of conversation:
+"Truth shines forth with its proper light, and people's minds are not
+illumined with flaming piles." The Appedeutes declared that this
+proposition was heretical, bordering upon heresy, and that the contrary
+action was catholic, universal, and Grecian: "The minds of the people
+are enlightened but with flaming piles, and truth cannot shine forth
+with its own light." These Linostolians thus condemned several
+discourses of the captain, and published an edict.
+
+"What!" said the Huron, with much emotion, "shall such people publish
+edicts?"
+
+"They are not edicts," replied Gordon: "they are contradictions, which
+all the world laughed at in Constantinople, and the Emperor the first.
+He was a wise prince, who knew how to reduce the Linostolian Appedeutes
+to a state incapable of doing anything but good. He knew that these
+gentlemen, and several other Pastophores, had tired the patience of the
+Emperors, his predecessors, with contradictions in more serious
+matters."
+
+"He did quite right," said the Huron, "the Pastophores should not be
+supported, but constrained."
+
+He committed several other observations to paper, which astonished old
+Gordon. "What," said he to himself, "have I consumed fifty years in
+instruction and not attained to the degree of natural good sense of this
+child, who is almost a savage? I tremble to think I have so arduously
+strengthened prejudices, and he listens to simple nature only."
+
+The good man had some little books of criticism, some of those
+periodical pamphlets wherein men, incapable of producing anything
+themselves, blacken the productions of others; where a Vise insults a
+Racine, and a Faidit a Fénelon. The Huron ran over some of them. "I
+compare them," said he, "to certain gnats that lodge their eggs in the
+nostrils of the finest horses, which do not, however, retard their
+speed."
+
+The two philosophers scarce deigned to cast their eyes upon these dregs
+of literature.
+
+They soon after went through the elements of astronomy. The Huron sent
+for some globes: he was ravished at this great spectacle.
+
+"How hard it is," said he, "that I should only begin to be acquainted
+with heaven, when the power of contemplating it is ravished from me!
+Jupiter and Saturn revolve in these immense spaces;--millions of suns
+illumine myriads of worlds; and, in this corner of the earth on which I
+am cast, there are beings that deprive me of seeing and studying those
+worlds to which my eye might reach, and even that in which God has
+placed me. The light created for the whole universe is lost to me. It
+was not hidden from me in the northern horizon, where I passed my
+infancy and youth. Without you, my dear Gordon, I should be
+annihilated."
+
+
+
+
+XII.
+
+THE HURON'S SENTIMENTS UPON THEATRICAL PIECES.
+
+
+The young Huron resembled one of those vigorous trees, which,
+languishing in an ungrateful soil, extend in a little time their roots
+and branches when transplanted to a more favorable spot; and it was very
+extraordinary that this favorable spot should be a prison.
+
+Among the books which employed the leisure of the two captives were some
+poems and also translations of Greek tragedies, and some dramatic
+pieces in French. Those passages that dwelt on love communicated at once
+pleasure and pain to the soul of the Huron. They were but so many images
+of his dear Miss St. Yves. The fable of the two pigeons rent his heart:
+for he was far estranged from his tender dove.
+
+Molière enchanted him. He taught him the manners of Paris and of human
+nature.
+
+"To which of his comedies do you give the preference?"
+
+"Doubtless to his _Tartuffe_."
+
+"I am of your opinion," said Gordon; "it was a Tartuffe that flung me
+into this dungeon, and perhaps they were Tartuffes who have been the
+cause of your misfortunes."
+
+"What do you think of these Greek tragedies?"
+
+"They are very good for Grecians."
+
+But when he read the modern _Iphigenia, Phædrus, Andromache_, and
+_Athalia_, he was in ecstacy, he sighed, he wept,--and he learned them
+by heart, without having any such intention.
+
+"Read _Rodogune_," said Gordon; "that is said to be a capital
+production; the other pieces which have given you so much pleasure, are
+trifles compared to this."
+
+The young man had scarce got through the first page, before he said,
+"This is not written by the same author."
+
+"How do you know it?"
+
+"I know nothing yet; but these lines neither touch my ear nor my heart."
+
+"O!" said Gordon, "the versification does not signify." The Huron asked,
+"What must I judge by then?"
+
+After having read the piece very attentively without any other design
+than being pleased, he looked steadfastly at his friend with much
+astonishment, not knowing what to say. At length, being urged to give
+his opinion with respect to what he felt, this was the answer he made:
+"I understood very little of the beginning; the middle disgusted me; but
+the last scene greatly moved me, though there appears to me but little
+probability in it. I have no prejudices for or against any one, but I do
+not remember twenty lines, I, who recollect them all when they please
+me."
+
+"This piece, nevertheless, passes for the best upon our stage."
+
+"If that be the case," said he, "it is perhaps like many people who are
+not worthy of the places they hold. After all, this is a matter of
+taste, and mine cannot yet be formed. I may be mistaken; but you know I
+am accustomed to say what I think or rather what I feel. I suspect that
+illusion, fashion, caprice, often warp the judgments of men."
+
+Here he repeated some lines from _Iphigenia_, which he was full of; and
+though he declaimed but indifferently, he uttered them with such truth
+and emotion that he made the old Jansenist weep. He then read _Cinna_,
+which did not excite his tears, but his admiration.
+
+
+
+
+XIII.
+
+THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES GOES TO VERSAILLES.
+
+
+Whilst the unfortunate Hercules was more enlightened than consoled;
+whilst his genius, so long stifled, unfolded itself with so much
+rapidity and strength; whilst nature, which was attaining a degree of
+perfection in him, avenged herself of the outrages of fortune; what
+became of the Prior, his good sister, and the beautiful recluse, Miss
+St. Yves? The first month they were uneasy, and the third they were
+immersed in sorrow. False conjectures, ill-grounded reports, alarmed
+them. At the end of six months, it was concluded he was dead. At length,
+Mr. and Miss Kerkabon learned, by a letter of ancient date, which one of
+the king's guards had written to Britany, that a young man resembling
+the Huron arrived one night at Versailles, but that since that time no
+one had heard him spoken of.
+
+"Alas," said Miss Kerkabon, "our nephew has done some ridiculous thing,
+which has brought on some terrible consequences. He is young, a _Low
+Breton_, and cannot know how to behave at court. My dear brother, I
+never saw Versailles nor Paris; here is a fine opportunity, and we shall
+perhaps find our poor nephew. He is our brother's son, and it is our
+duty to assist him. Who knows? we may perhaps at length prevail upon him
+to become a sub-deacon when the fire of youth is somewhat abated. He was
+much inclined to the sciences. Do you recollect how he reasoned upon
+the Old and New Testaments? We are answerable for his soul. He was
+baptized at our instigation. His dear mistress Miss St. Yves does
+nothing but weep incessantly. Indeed, we must go to Paris. If he is
+concealed in any of those infamous houses of pleasure, which I have
+often heard of, we will get him out."
+
+The Prior was affected at his sister's discourse. He went in search of
+the Bishop of St. Malo's, who had baptized the Huron, and requested his
+protection and advice. The Prelate approved of the journey. He gave the
+Prior letters of recommendation to Father la Chaise, the king's
+confessor, who was invested with the first dignity in the kingdom; to
+Harlai, the Archbishop of Paris, and to Bossuet, Bishop of Meaux.
+
+At length, the brother and sister set out; but when they came to Paris,
+they found themselves bewildered in a great labyrinth without clue or
+end. Their fortune was but middling, and they had occasion every day for
+carriages to pursue their discovery, which they could not accomplish.
+
+The Prior waited upon the Reverend Father la Chaise; he was with
+Mademoiselle du Tron, and could not give audience to Priors. He went to
+the Archbishop's door: the Prelate was shut up with the beautiful
+Mademoiselle de Lesdiguières about church matters. He flew to the
+country house of the Bishop of Meaux: he was engaged in a close
+examination with Mademoiselle de Mauleon, of the mystery relating to
+Mademoiselle Guyon. At length, however, he gained access to these two
+prelates; they both declared they could not interfere with regard to his
+nephew, as he was not a sub-deacon.
+
+He at length saw the Jesuit, who received him with open arms, protesting
+he had always entertained the greatest private esteem for him, though he
+had never known him. He swore that his society had always been attached
+to the inhabitants of Lower Britany.
+
+"But," said he, "has not your nephew the misfortune of being a
+Huguenot?"
+
+"No, certainly, Reverend Father."
+
+"May he not be a Jansenist?"
+
+"I can assure your Reverence, that he is scarce a Christian. It is about
+eleven months since he was christened."
+
+"This is very well;--we will take care of him. Is your benefice
+considerable?"
+
+"No, a very trifle, and our nephew costs us a great deal."
+
+"Are there any Jansenists in your neighborhood? Take great care, my dear
+Mr. Prior, they are more dangerous than Huguenots, or even Atheists."
+
+"My Reverend Father, we have none; it is not even known at our Lady of
+the Mountain what Jansenism is."
+
+"So much the better; go, there is nothing I will not do for you."
+
+He dismissed the Prior in this affectionate manner, but thought no more
+about him.
+
+Time slipped away, and the Prior and his good sister were almost in
+despair.
+
+In the meanwhile, the cursed bailiff urged very strenuously the marriage
+of his great booby son with the beautiful Miss St. Yves, who was taken
+purposely out of the convent. She always entertained a passion for her
+god-son in proportion as she detested the husband who was designed for
+her. The insult that had been offered her, by shutting her up in a
+convent, increased her affection; and the mandate for wedding the
+bailiff's son completed her antipathy for him. Chagrin, tenderness, and
+terror, racked her soul. Love, we know, is much more inventive and more
+daring in a young woman than friendship in an aged Prior and an aunt
+upwards of forty-five. Besides, she had received good instructions in
+her convent with the assistance of romances, which she read by stealth.
+
+The beautiful Miss St. Yves remembered the letter that had been sent by
+one of the king's guards to Lower Britany, which had been spoken of in
+the province. She resolved to go herself and gain information at
+Versailles; to throw herself at the minister's feet, if her husband
+should be in prison as it was said, and obtain justice for him. I know
+not what secret intelligence she had gained that at court nothing is
+refused to a pretty woman; but she knew not the price of these boons.
+
+Having taken this resolution, it afforded her some consolation; and she
+enjoyed some tranquillity without upraiding Providence with the severity
+of her lot. She receives her detested intended father-in-law, caresses
+her brother, and spreads happiness throughout the house. On the day
+appointed for the ceremony, she secretly departs at four o'clock in the
+morning, with the little nuptial presents she has received, and all she
+could gather. Her plan was so well laid, that she was about ten leagues
+upon her journey, when, about noon, her absence was discovered, and when
+every one's consternation and surprise was inexpressible. The
+inquisitive bailiff asked more questions that day than he had done for a
+week before; the intended bridegroom was more stupefied than ever. The
+Abbé St. Yves resolved in his rage to pursue his sister. The bailiff and
+his son were disposed to accompany him. Thus fate led almost the whole
+canton of Lower Britany to Paris.
+
+The beautiful Miss St. Yves was not without apprehensions that she
+should be pursued. She rode on horseback, and she got all the
+intelligence she could from the couriers, without being suspected. She
+asked if they had not met a fat abbé, an enormous bailiff, and a young
+booby, galloping as fast as they could to Paris. Having learned, on the
+third day, that they were not far behind, she took quite a different
+road, and was skillful and lucky enough to arrive at Versailles, whilst
+they were in a fruitless pursuit after her, at Paris. But how was she to
+behave at Versailles? Young, handsome, untutored, unsupported, unknown,
+exposed to every danger, how could she dare go in search of one of the
+king's guards? She had some thoughts of applying to a Jesuit of low
+rank, for there were some for every station of life; as God, they say,
+has given different aliments to every species of animals. He had given
+the king his confessor, who was called, by all solicitors of benefices,
+the head of the Gallican Church. Then came the princes' confessors. The
+ministers had none, they were not such dupes. There were Jesuits for the
+genteel mob, and particularly those for chambermaids, by whom were known
+the secrets of their mistresses; and this was no small vocation, the
+beautiful Miss St. Yves addressed herself to one of these last, who was
+called _Father Tout-à-tous_ (all to every one). She confessed to him,
+set forth her adventure, her situation, her danger, and conjured him to
+get her a lodging with some good devotee, who might shelter her from
+temptation.
+
+[Illustration: The Confessional.]
+
+Father _Tout-à-tous_ introduced her to the wife of the cup-bearer, one
+of his most trusty penitents. From the moment Miss St. Yves became her
+lodger, she did her utmost to obtain the confidence and friendship of
+this penitent. She gained intelligence of the Breton-Guard, and invited
+him to visit her. Having learned from him that her lover had been
+carried off after having had a conference with one of the clerks, she
+flew to this clerk. The sight of a fine woman softened him, for it must
+be allowed God created woman only to tame mankind.
+
+The scribe, thus mollified, acknowledged to her every thing.
+
+"Your lover has been in the bastile almost a year, and without your
+intercession he would, perhaps, have ended hid days there."
+
+The tender Miss St. Yves swooned at this intelligence. When she had
+recovered herself, her informer told her:
+
+"I have no power to do good; all my influence extends to doing harm.
+Take my advice, wait upon M. de St. Pouange, who has the power of doing
+both good and ill; he is Mons. de Louvois's cousin and favorite. This
+minister has two souls: the one is M. de St. Pouange, and Mademoiselle
+de Belle is the other, but she is at present absent from Versailles; so
+that you have nothing to do but captivate the protector I have pointed
+out to you."
+
+The beautiful Miss St. Yves, divided between some trifling joy and
+excessive grief, between a glimmering of hope and dreadful
+apprehensions,--pursued by her brother, idolizing her lover, wiping her
+tears, which flowed in torrents; trembling and feeble, yet summoning all
+her courage;--in this situation, she flew on the wings of love to M. de
+St. Pouange's.
+
+
+
+
+XIV.
+
+RAPID PROGRESS OF THE HURON'S INTELLECT.
+
+
+The ingenuous youth was making a rapid progress in the sciences, and
+particularly in the science of man. The cause of this sudden disclosure
+of his understanding was as much owing to his savage education as to the
+disposition of his soul; for, having learned nothing in his infancy, he
+had not imbibed any prejudices. His mind, not having been warped by
+error, had retained all its primitive rectitude. He saw things as they
+were; whereas the ideas that are communicated to us in our infancy make
+us see them all our life in a false light.
+
+"Your persecutors are very abominable wretches," said he to his friend
+Gordon. "I pity you for being oppressed, but I condemn you for being a
+Jansenist. All sects appear to me to be founded in error. Tell me if
+there be any sectaries in geometry?"
+
+"No, my child," said the good old Gordon, heaving a deep sigh; "all men
+are agreed concerning truth when demonstrated, but they are too much
+divided about latent truths."
+
+"If there were but one single hidden truth in your load of arguments,
+which have been so often sifted for such a number of ages, it would
+doubtless have been discovered, and the universe would certainly have
+been unanimous, at least, in that respect. If this truth had been as
+necessary as the sun is to the earth, it would have been as brilliant as
+that planet. It is an absurdity, an insult to human nature--it is an
+attack upon the Infinite and Supreme Being to say there is a truth
+essential to the happiness of man which God conceals."
+
+All that this ignorant youth, instructed only by nature, said, made a
+very deep impression upon the mind of the old unhappy scholiast.
+
+"Is it really certain," he cried, "that I should have made myself truly
+miserable for mere chimeras? I am much more certain of my misery than of
+effectual grace. I have spent my time in reasoning about the liberty of
+God and human nature, but I have lost my own. Neither St. Augustine nor
+St. Prosner will extricate me from my present misfortunes."
+
+The ingenuous Huron, who gave way to his natural instincts, at length
+said:
+
+"Will you give me leave to speak to you boldly and frankly? Those who
+bring upon themselves persecution for such idle disputes seem to me to
+have very little sense; those who persecute, appear to me very
+monsters."
+
+The two captives entirely coincided with respect to the injustice of
+their captivity.
+
+"I am a hundred times more to be pitied than you," said the Huron; "I am
+born free as the air: I had two lives, liberty and the object of my
+love; and I am deprived of both. We are both in fetters, without
+knowing who put them on us, or without being able to enquire. It is said
+that the Hurons are barbarians, because they avenge themselves on their
+enemies; but they never oppress their friends. I had scarce set foot in
+France, before I shed my blood for this country. I have, perhaps,
+preserved a whole province, and my recompense is imprisonment. In this
+country men are condemned without being heard. This is not the case in
+England. Alas! it was not against the English that I should have
+fought."
+
+Thus his growing philosophy could not brook nature being insulted in the
+first of her rights, and he gave vent to his just indignation.
+
+His companion did not contradict him. Absence ever increases ungratified
+love, and philosophy does not diminish it. He as frequently spoke of his
+dear Miss St. Yves, as he did of morality or metaphysics. The more he
+purified his sentiments, the more he loved. He read some new romances;
+but he met with few that depicted to him the real state of his soul. He
+felt that his heart stretched beyond the bounds of his author.
+
+"Alas!" said he, "almost all these writers have nothing but wit and
+art."
+
+At length, the good Jansenist priest became, insensibly, the confident
+of his tenderness. He was already acquainted with love as a sin with
+which a penitent accuses himself at confession. He now learned to know
+it as a sentiment equally noble and tender; which can elevate the soul
+as well as soften it, and can at times produce virtues. In fine, for the
+last miracle, a Huron converted a Jansenist.
+
+
+
+
+XV.
+
+THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES VISITS M. DE ST. POUANGE.
+
+
+The charming Miss St. Yves, still more afflicted than her lover, waited
+accordingly upon M. de St. Pouange, accompanied by her friend with whom
+she lodged, each having their faces covered with their hoods. The first
+thing she saw at the door was the Abbé St. Yves, her brother coming out.
+She was terrified, but her friend supported her spirits.
+
+"For the very reason," said she, "that people have been speaking
+against you, speak to him for yourself. You may he assured, that the
+accusers in this part of the world are always in the right, unless they
+are immediately detected. Besides, your presence will have greater
+effect, or else I am much mistaken, than the words of your brother."
+
+Ever so little encouragement to a passionate lover makes her intrepid.
+Miss St. Yves appears at the audience. Her youth, her charms, her
+languishing eyes, moistened with some involuntary tears, attract every
+one's attention. Every sycophant to the deputy minister forgot for an
+instant the idol of power to contemplate that of beauty. St. Pouange
+conducted her into a closet. She spoke with an affecting grace. St.
+Pouange felt some emotion. She trembled, but he told her not to be
+afraid.
+
+"Return to-night," said he; "your business requires some reflection, and
+it must be discussed at leisure. There are too many people here at
+present. Audiences are rapidly dispatched. I must get to the bottom of
+all that concerns you."
+
+He then paid her some compliments upon her beauty and address, and
+advised her to come at seven in the evening.
+
+She did not fail attending at the hour appointed, and her pious friend
+again accompanied her; but she remained in the hall, where she read the
+_Christian Pedagogue_, whilst St. Pouange and the beauteous Miss St.
+Yves were in the back closet. He began by saying:
+
+"Would you believe it, Miss, that your brother has been to request me to
+grant him a _lettre de cachet_ against you; but, indeed, I would sooner
+grant one to send him back to Lower Britany."
+
+"Alas! sir," said she, "_lettres de cachet_ are granted very liberally
+in your offices, since people come from the extremity of the kingdom to
+solicit them like pensions. I am very far from requesting one against my
+brother, yet I have much reason to complain of him. But I respect the
+liberty of mankind; and, therefore, supplicate for that of a man whom I
+want to make my husband; of a man to whom the king is indebted for the
+preservation of a province; who can beneficially serve him; and who is
+the son of an officer killed in his service. Of what is he accused? How
+could he be treated so cruelly without being heard?"
+
+The deputy minister then showed her the letter of the spy Jesuit, and
+that of the perfidious bailiff.
+
+"What!" said she with astonishment, "are there such monsters upon earth?
+and would they force me to marry the stupid son of a ridiculous, wicked
+man? and is it upon such evidence that the fate of citizens is
+determined?"
+
+She threw herself upon her knees, and with a flood of tears solicited
+the freedom of a brave man who adored her. Her charms appeared to the
+greatest advantage in such a situation. She was so beautiful, that St.
+Pouange, bereft of all shame, used words with some reserve, which
+brought on others less delicate, which were succeeded by those still
+more expressive. The revocation of the _lettre de cachet_ was proposed,
+and he at length went so far as to state the only means of obtaining the
+liberty of the man whose interest she had so violently and
+affectionately at heart.
+
+This uncommon conversation continued for a long time. The devotee in the
+anti-chamber, in reading her _Christian Pedagogue_, said to herself:
+
+"My Lord St. Pouange never before gave so long an audience. Perhaps he
+has refused every thing to this poor girl, and she is still entreating
+him."
+
+At length her companion came out of the closet in the greatest
+confusion, without being able to speak. She was lost in deep meditation
+upon the character of the great and the half great, who so slightly
+sacrifice the liberty of men and the honor of women.
+
+She did not utter a syllable all the way back. But having returned to
+her friend's, she burst out, and told all that had happened. Her pious
+friend made frequent signs of the cross.
+
+"My dear friend," said she, "you must consult to-morrow Father
+_Tout-à-tous_, our director. He has much influence over M. de St.
+Pouange. He is confessor of many of the female servants of the house. He
+is a pious accommodating man, who has also the direction of some women
+of fashion. Yield to him; this is my way; and I always found myself
+right. We weak women stand in need of a man to lead us: and so, my dear
+friend, I'll go to-morrow in search of Father _Tout-à-tous_."
+
+
+
+
+XVI.
+
+MISS ST. YVES CONSULTS A JESUIT.
+
+
+No sooner was the beautiful and disconsolate Miss St. Yves with her holy
+confessor, than she told him, "that a powerful, voluptuous man, had
+proposed to her to set at liberty the man whom she intended making her
+lawful husband, and that he required a great price for his service; that
+she held such infidelity in the highest detestation; and that if her
+life only had been required, she would much sooner have sacrificed it
+than to have submitted."
+
+"This is a most abominable sinner," said Father _Tout-à-tous_, "You
+should tell me the name of this vile man. He must certainly be some
+Jansenist. I will inform against him to his Reverence, Father de la
+Chaise, who will place him in the situation of your dear beloved
+intended bridegroom."
+
+The poor girl, after much hesitation and embarrassment, at length
+mentioned St. Pouange.
+
+"My Lord St. Pouange!" cried the Jesuit, "Ah! my child, the case is
+quite different. He is cousin to the greatest minister we have ever had;
+a man of worth, a protector of the good cause, a good Christian. He
+could not entertain such a thought. You certainly must have
+misunderstood him."
+
+"Oh! Father, I did but understand him too well. I am lost on which ever
+side I turn. The only alternative I have to choose is misery or shame;
+either my lover must be buried alive, or I must make myself unworthy of
+living. I cannot let him perish, nor can I save him."
+
+Father _Tout-à-tous_ endeavored to console her with these gentle
+expressions:
+
+"In the _first place_, my child, never use the word lover. It intimates
+something worldly, which may offend God. Say my husband. You consider
+him as such, and nothing can be more decent.
+
+"_Secondly_: Though he be ideally your husband, and you are in hopes he
+will be such eventually, yet he is not so in reality, consequently, you
+are still free and the mistress of your own conduct.
+
+[Illustration: Father Tout-à-tous.]
+
+"_Thirdly_: Actions are not maliciously culpable, when the intention is
+virtuous; and nothing can be more virtuous than to procure your husband
+his liberty.
+
+"_Fourthly_: You have examples in holy antiquity, that miraculously
+serve you for a guide. St. Augustin relates, that under the proconsulate
+of Septimius Acyndius, in the thirty-fourth year of our salvation, a
+poor man could not pay unto Cæsar what belonged to Cæsar, and was justly
+condemned to die, notwithstanding the maxim, 'Where there is nothing,
+the king must lose his right.' The object in question was a pound of
+gold. The culprit had a wife in whom God had united beauty and prudence.
+
+"You may assure yourself, my child, that when a Jesuit quotes St.
+Augustin, that saint must certainly have been in the right. I advise you
+to nothing. You are prudent, and it is to be presumed that you will do
+your husband a service. My Lord St. Pouange is an honest man. He will
+not deceive you. This is all I can say. I will pray to God for you, and
+I hope every thing will take place for his glory."
+
+The beautiful Miss St. Yves, who was no less terrified with the Jesuit's
+discourse than with the proposals of the deputy minister, returned in
+despair to her friend. She was tempted to deliver herself by death from
+the horror of her situation.
+
+
+
+
+XVII.
+
+THE JESUIT TRIUMPHS.
+
+
+The unfortunate Miss St. Yves entreated her friend to kill her; but this
+lady, who was fully as indulgent as the Jesuit, spoke to her still more
+clearly.
+
+"Alas!" said she, "at this agreeable, gallant, and famous court,
+business is always thus transacted. The most considerable, as well as
+the most indifferent places are seldom given away without a
+consideration. The dignities of war are solicited by the queen of love,
+and, without regard to merit, a place is often given to him who has the
+handsomest advocate.
+
+"You are in a situation that is extremely critical. The object is to
+restore your lover to liberty, and to marry him. It is a sacred duty
+that you are to fulfill. The world will applaud you. It will be said,
+that you only allowed yourself to be guilty of a weakness, through an
+excess of virtue."
+
+"Heavens!" cried Miss St. Yves, "What kind of virtue is this? What a
+labyrinth of distress! What a world! What men to become acquainted with!
+A Father de la Chaise and a ridiculous bailiff imprison my lover; I am
+persecuted by my family; assistance is offered me, only that I may be
+dishonored! A Jesuit has ruined a brave man, another Jesuit wants to
+ruin me. On every side snares are laid for me, and I am upon the very
+brink of destruction! I must even speak to the king; I will throw myself
+at his feet as he goes to mass or to the theatre."
+
+"His attendants will not let you approach," said her good friend; "and
+if you should be so unfortunate as to speak to him, M. de Louvois, or
+the Reverend Father de la Chaise, might bury you in a convent for the
+rest of your days."
+
+Whilst this generous friend thus increased the perplexities of Miss St.
+Yves's tortured soul, and plunged the dagger deeper in her heart, a
+messenger arrived from M. de St. Pouange with a letter, and two fine
+pendant earrings. Miss St. Yves, with tears, refused to accept of any
+part of the contents of the packet; but her friend took the charge of
+them upon herself.
+
+As soon as the messenger had gone, the _confidante_ read the letter, in
+which a _petit-souper_ (a little supper) was proposed to the two friends
+for that night. Miss St. Yves protested she would not go, whilst her
+pious friend endeavored to make her try on the diamond earrings; but
+Miss St. Yves could not endure them, and opposed it all the day long;
+being entirely wrapped up in the contemplation of her lover's
+imprisonment. At length, after a long resistance--after sighs, moans,
+and torrents of tears--driven by excitement almost to the verge of
+insanity--weakened with the conflict, overwhelmed and irresolute, the
+innocent victim, not knowing whether she was going, was dragged by this
+artful woman to the fatal supper of the "good Christian and protector of
+the good cause," M. de St. Pouange.
+
+[Illustration: The meeting.]
+
+
+
+
+XVIII.
+
+MISS ST. YVES DELIVERS HER LOVER AND A JANSENIST.
+
+
+At day-break she fled to Paris with the minister's mandate. It would be
+difficult to depict the agitation of her mind in this journey. Imagine a
+virtuous and noble soul, humbled by its own reproaches, intoxicated with
+tenderness, distracted with the remorse of having betrayed her lover,
+and elated with the pleasure of releasing the object of her adoration.
+Her torments and conflicts by turns engaged her reflections. She was no
+longer that innocent girl whose ideas were confined to a provincial
+education. Love and misfortunes had united to remould her. Sentiment had
+made as rapid a progress in her mind, as reason had in that of her
+lover.
+
+Her dress was dictated by the greatest simplicity. She viewed with
+horror the trappings with which she had appeared before her fatal
+benefactor. Her companion had taken the earrings without her having
+looked at them. Anxious and confused, idolizing the Huron and detesting
+herself, she at length arrived at the gate of that dreadful castle--the
+palace of vengeance--where crimes and innocence are alike immured.
+
+When she was upon the point of getting out of the coach her strength
+failed her. Some people came to her assistance. She entered, whilst her
+heart was in the greatest palpitation, her eyes streaming, and her whole
+frame bespoke the greatest consternation. She was presented to the
+governor. He was going to speak to her, but she had lost all power of
+expression: she showed her order, whilst, with great difficulty, she
+articulated some accents. The governor entertained a great esteem for
+his prisoner, and he was greatly pleased at his being released. His
+heart was not callous, like those of most of his brethren, who think of
+nothing but the fees their captives are to pay them; extort their
+revenues from their victims; and living by the misery of others,
+conceive a horrid joy at the lamentations of the unfortunate.
+
+He sent for the prisoner into his apartment. The two lovers swooned at
+the sight of each other. The beautiful Miss St. Yves remained for a long
+time motionless, without any symptoms of life; the other soon recalled
+his fortitude.
+
+"This lady," said the governor, "is probably your wife. You did not tell
+me you were married. I am informed that it is through her generous
+solicitude that you have obtained your liberty."
+
+"Alas!" said the beautiful Miss St. Yves, in a faltering voice, "I am
+not worthy of being his wife;" and swooned again.
+
+When she recovered her senses, she presented, with a trembling hand and
+averted eyes, the grant and written promise of a company.
+
+The Huron, equally astonished and affected, awoke from one dream to fall
+into another.
+
+"Why was I shut up here? How could you deliver me? Where are the
+monsters that immured me? You are a divinity sent from heaven to succor
+me."
+
+The beautiful Miss St. Yves, with a dejected air, looked at her lover,
+blushed, and instantly turned away her streaming eyes. In a word, they
+told him all she knew, and all she had undergone, except what she was
+willing to conceal forever, but which any other than the Huron, more
+accustomed to the world and better acquainted with the customs of
+courts, would easily have guessed.
+
+"Is it possible," said he, "that a wretch like the bailiff can have
+deprived me of my liberty?
+
+"Alas! I find that men, like the vilest of animals, can all injure.
+
+"But is it possible that a monk, a Jesuit, the king's confessor, should
+have contributed to my misfortunes as much as the bailiff, without my
+being able to imagine under what pretence this detestable knave has
+persecuted me? Did he make me pass for a Jansenist? In fine, how came
+you to remember me? I did not deserve it; I was then only a savage.
+
+"What! could you, without advice, without assistance, undertake a
+journey to Versailles?
+
+"You there appeared, and my fetters were broken!
+
+"There must then be in beauty and virtue an invincible charm, that opens
+gates of adamant and softens hearts of steel."
+
+At the word virtue, a flood of tears issued from the eyes of the
+beautiful Miss St. Yves. She did not know how far she had been virtuous
+in the crime with which she reproached herself.
+
+Her lover thus continued:
+
+"Thou angel, who hast broken my chains, if thou hast had sufficient
+influence (which I cannot yet comprehend) to obtain justice for me,
+obtain it likewise for an old man who first taught me to think, as thou
+didst to love. Misfortunes have united us; I love him as a father; I can
+neither live without thee nor him."
+
+"I solicit?"
+
+"The same man."
+
+"Who!"
+
+"Yes, I will be beholden to you for everything, and I will owe nothing
+to any one but yourself. Write to this man in power. Overwhelm me with
+kindness--complete what you have begun--perfect your miracle."
+
+She was sensible she ought to do everything her lover desired. She
+wanted to write, but her hand refused its office. She began her letter
+three times, and tore it as often. At length she got to the end, and the
+two lovers left the prison, after having embraced the old martyr to
+efficacious grace.
+
+The happy yet disconsolate Miss St. Yves knew where her brother lodged:
+thither she repaired; and her lover took an apartment at the same house.
+
+They had scarce reached their lodging, before her protector sent the
+order for releasing the good old Gordon, at the same time making an
+appointment with her for the next day.
+
+She gave the order of release to her lover, and refused the appointment
+of a benefactor whom she could no more see without expiring with shame
+and grief.
+
+Her lover would not have left her upon any other errand than to release
+his friend. He flew to the place of his confinement and fulfilled this
+duty, reflecting, meanwhile, upon the strange vicissitudes of this
+world, and admiring the courageous virtue of a young lady, to whom two
+unfortunate men owed more than life.
+
+
+
+
+XIX.
+
+THE HURON, THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES, AND THEIR RELATIONS, ARE
+CONVENED.
+
+
+The generous and respectable, but injured girl, was with her brother the
+Abbé de St. Yves, the good Prior of the Mountain, and Lady de Kerkabon.
+They were equally astonished, but their situations and sentiments were
+very different. The Abbé de St. Yves was expiating the wrongs he had
+done his sister at her feet, and she pardoned him. The prior and his
+sympathizing sister likewise wept, but it was for joy. The filthy
+bailiff and his insupportable son did not trouble this affecting scene.
+They had set out upon the first report that their antagonist had been
+released. They flew to bury in their own province their folly and fear.
+
+The four _dramatis personæ_, variously agitated, were waiting for the
+return of the young man who had gone to deliver his friend. The Abbé de
+St. Yves did not dare to raise his eyes to meet those of his sister. The
+good Kerkabon said:
+
+"I shall then see once more my dear nephew."
+
+"You will see him again," said the charming Miss St. Yves, "but he is no
+longer the same man. His behavior, his manners, his ideas, his sense,
+have all undergone a complete mutation. He has become as respectable, as
+he was before ignorant and strange to everything. He will be the honor
+and consolation of your family; would to heaven that I might also be the
+honor of mine!"
+
+"What, are you not the same as you were?" said the prior. "What then has
+happened to work so great a change?"
+
+During this conversation the Huron returned in company with the
+Jansenist. The scene was now changed, and became more interesting. It
+began by the uncle and aunt's tender embraces. The Abbé de St. Yves
+almost kissed the knees of the ingenuous Huron, who, by the by, was no
+longer ingenuous. The language of the eyes formed all the discourse of
+the two lovers, who, nevertheless, expressed every sentiment with which
+they were penetrated. Satisfaction and acknowledgment sparkled in the
+countenance of the one, whilst embarrassment was depicted in Miss St.
+Yves's melting but half averted eyes. Every one was astonished that she
+should mingle grief with so much joy.
+
+The venerable Gordon soon endeared himself to the whole family. He had
+been unhappy with the young prisoner, and this was a sufficient title to
+their esteem. He owed his deliverance to the two lovers, and this alone
+reconciled him to love. The acrimony of his former sentiments was
+dismissed from his heart--he was converted by gratitude, as well as the
+Huron. Every one related his adventures before supper. The two Abbés and
+the aunt listened like children to the relation of stories of ghosts,
+and both were deeply interested.
+
+"Alas!" said Gordon, "there are perhaps upwards of five hundred virtuous
+people in the same fetters as Miss St. Yves has broken. Their
+misfortunes are unheeded. Many hands are found to strike the unhappy
+multitude,--how seldom one to succor them."
+
+This very just reflection increased his sensibility and gratitude.
+Everything heightened the triumph of the beautiful Miss St. Yves. The
+grandeur and intrepidity of her soul were the subject of each one's
+admiration. This admiration was blended with that respect which we feel
+in spite of ourselves for a person who we think has some influence at
+court. But the Abbé de St. Yves enquired:
+
+"What could my sister do to obtain this influence so soon?"
+
+Supper being ready, every one was already seated, when, lo! the worthy
+_confidante_ of Versailles arrived, without being acquainted with
+anything that had passed. She was in a coach and six, and it was easily
+seen to whom the equipage belonged. She entered with that air of
+authority assumed by people in power who have a great deal of
+business--saluted the company with much indifference, and, pulling the
+beautiful Miss St. Yves on one side, said:
+
+"Why do you make people wait so long? Follow me. There are the diamonds
+you forgot."
+
+However softly she uttered these expressions, the Huron, nevertheless,
+overheard them. He saw the diamonds. The brother was speechless. The
+uncle and aunt exhibited the surprise of good people, who had never
+before beheld such magnificence. The young man, whose mind was now
+formed by an experience of twelve months, could not help making some
+reflections against his will, and was for a moment in anxiety. His
+mistress perceived it, and a mortal paleness spread itself over her
+countenance; a tremor seized her, and it was with difficulty she could
+support herself.
+
+"Ah! madam," said she to her fatal friend, "you have ruined me--you have
+given me the mortal blow."
+
+These words pierced the heart of the Huron: but he had already learned
+to possess himself. He did not dwell upon them, lest he should make his
+mistress uneasy before her brother, but turned pale as well as she.
+
+Miss St. Yves, distracted with the change she perceived in her lover's
+countenance, pulled the woman out of the room into the passage, and
+there threw the jewels at her feet, saying:
+
+"Alas! these were not my seducers, as you well know: but he that gave
+them shall never set eyes on me again."
+
+Her friend took them up, whilst Miss St. Yves added:
+
+"He may either take them again, or give them to you. Begone, and do not
+make me still more odious to myself."
+
+The ambassadress at length departed, not being able to comprehend the
+remorse to which she had been witness.
+
+The beautiful Miss St. Yves, greatly oppressed and feeling a revolution
+in her body that almost suffocated her, was compelled to go to bed; but
+that she might not alarm any one she kept her pains and sufferings to
+herself: and under pretence of only being weary, she asked leave to take
+a little rest. This, however, she did not do till she had reanimated the
+company with consolatory and flattering expressions, and cast such a
+kind look upon her lover as darted fire into his soul.
+
+The supper, of which she did not partake, was in the beginning gloomy;
+but this gloominess was of that interesting kind which inspires
+reflection and useful conversation, so superior to that frivolous
+excitement commonly exhibited, and which is usually nothing more than a
+troublesome noise.
+
+Gordon, in a few words, gave the history of Jansenism and Molinism; of
+those persecutions with which one party hampered the other; and of the
+obstinacy of both. The Huron entered into a criticism thereupon, pitying
+those men who, not satisfied with all the confusion occasioned by these
+opposite interests, create evils by imaginary interests and
+unintelligible absurdities. Gordon related--the other judged. The guests
+listened with emotion, and gained new lights. The duration of
+misfortunes, and the shortness of life, then became the topics. It was
+remarked that all professions have peculiar vices and dangers annexed to
+them; and that from the prince down to the lowest beggar, all seemed
+alike to accuse providence. How happens it that so many men, for so
+little, perform the office of persecutors, sergeants, and executioners,
+to others? With what inhuman indifference does a man in authority sign
+papers for the destruction of a family; and with what joy, still more
+barbarous, do mercenaries execute them.
+
+"I saw in my youth," said the good old Gordon, "a relation of the
+Marshal de Marillic, who, being prosecuted in his own province on
+account of that illustrious but unfortunate man, concealed himself under
+a borrowed name in Paris. He was an old man near seventy-two years of
+age. His wife, who accompanied him, was nearly of the same age. They had
+a libertine son, who at fourteen years of age absconded from his
+father's house, turned soldier, and deserted. He had gone through every
+gradation of debauchery and misery; at length, having changed his name,
+he was in the guards of Cardinal Richelieu, (for this priest, as well as
+Mazarine, had guards) and had obtained an exempt's staff in their
+company of sergeants.
+
+"This adventurer was appointed to arrest the old man and his wife, and
+acquitted himself with all the obduracy of a man who was willing to
+please his master. As he was conducting them, he heard these two victims
+deplore the long succession of miseries which had befallen them from
+their cradle. This aged couple reckoned as one of their greatest
+misfortunes the wildness and loss of their son. He recollected them, but
+he nevertheless led them to prison; assuring them, that his Reverence
+was to be served in preference to every body else. His Eminence rewarded
+his zeal.
+
+"I have seen a spy of Father de la Chaise betray his own brother, in
+hopes of a little benefice, which he did not obtain; and I saw him die,
+not of remorse, but of grief at having been cheated by the Jesuit.
+
+"The vocation of a confessor, which I for a long while exercised, made
+me acquainted with the secrets of families. I have known very few, who,
+though immersed in the greatest distress, did not externally wear the
+mask of felicity and every appearance of joy; and I have always observed
+that great grief was the fruit of our unconstrained desires."
+
+"For my part," said the Huron, "I imagine, that a noble, grateful,
+sensible man, may always be happy; and I hope to enjoy an uncheckered
+felicity with the charming, generous Miss St. Yves. For I flatter
+myself," added he, in addressing himself to her brother with a friendly
+smile, "that you will not now refuse me as you did last year: besides, I
+shall pursue a more decent method."
+
+The Abbé was confounded in apologies for the past, and in protesting an
+eternal attachment.
+
+Uncle Kerkabon said this would be the most glorious day of his whole
+life. His good aunt Kerkabon, in ecstasies of joy, cried out:
+
+"I always said you would never be a sub-deacon. This sacrament is
+preferable to the other; would to God I had been honored with it! but I
+will serve you for a mother."
+
+And now all vied with each other in applauding the gentle Miss St. Yves.
+
+Her lover's heart was too full of what she had done for him, and he
+loved her too much, for the affair of the jewels to make any permanent
+impression on him. But those words, which he too well heard, "_you have
+given me the mortal blow_", still secretly terrified him, and
+interrupted all his joy; whilst the eulogiums paid his beautiful
+mistress still increased his love. In a word, nothing was thought of but
+her,--nothing was mentioned but the happiness those two lovers deserved.
+A plan was agitated to live altogether at Paris, and schemes of grandeur
+and fortune were formed. These hopes, which the smallest ray of
+happiness engenders, were predominant. But the Huron felt, in the secret
+recesses of his heart, a sentiment that exploded the illusion. He read
+over the promises signed by St. Pouange, and the commission signed
+Louvois. These men were painted to him such as they were, or such as
+they were thought to be. Every one spoke of the ministers and
+administration with the freedom of convivial conversation, which is
+considered in France as the most precious liberty to be obtained on
+earth.
+
+"If I were king of France," said the Huron, "this is the kind of
+minister that I would choose for the war department. I would have a man
+of the highest birth, as he is to give orders to the nobility. I would
+require that he should himself have been an officer, and have passed
+through the various gradations; or, at least, that he had attained the
+rank of Lieutenant General, and was worthy of being a Marshal of France.
+For, to be acquainted with the details of the service, is it not
+necessary that he himself should have served? and will not officers
+obey, with a hundred times more alacrity, a military man, who like
+themselves has been signalized by his courage, rather than a mere man of
+the cabinet, who, whatever natural ability he may possess, can, at most,
+only guess at the operations of a campaign? I should not be displeased
+at my minister's generosity, even though it might sometimes embarrass a
+little the keeper of the royal treasure. I should desire him to have a
+facility in business, and that he should distinguish himself by that
+kind of gaiety of mind, which is the lot of men superior to business,
+which is so agreeable to the nation, and which renders the performance
+of every duty less irksome."
+
+This is the character he would have chosen for a minister, as he had
+constantly observed that such an amiable disposition is incompatible
+with cruelty.
+
+Monsieur de Louvois would not, perhaps, have been satisfied with the
+Huron's wishes. His merit lay in a different walk. But whilst they were
+still at table, the disorder of the unhappy Miss St. Yves took a fatal
+turn. Her blood was on fire,--the symptoms of a malignant fever had
+appeared. She suffered, but did not complain, being unwilling to disturb
+the pleasure of the guests.
+
+Her brother, thinking that she was not asleep, went to the foot of her
+bed. He was astonished at the condition he found her in. Every body flew
+to her. Her lover appeared next to her brother. He was certainly the
+most alarmed, and the most affected of any one; but he had learned to
+unite discretion to all the happy gifts nature had bestowed upon him,
+and a quick sensibility of decorum began to prevail over him.
+
+A neighboring physician was immediately sent for. He was one of those
+itinerant doctors who confound the last disorder they were consulted
+upon with the present;--who follow a blind practice in a science from
+which the most mature investigations and careful observations do not
+preclude uncertainty and danger. He greatly increased the disorder by
+prescribing a fashionable nostrum. Can fashion extend to medicine? This
+frenzy was then too prevalent in Paris.
+
+The grief of Miss St. Yves contributed still more than her physician to
+render her disorder fatal. Her body suffered martyrdom in the torments
+of her mind. The crowd of thoughts which agitated her breast,
+communicated to her veins a more dangerous poison than that of the most
+burning fever.
+
+
+
+
+XX.
+
+THE DEATH OF THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.
+
+
+Another physician was called in. But, instead of assisting nature and
+leaving it to act in a young person whose organs recalled the vital
+stream, he applied himself solely to counteract the effects of his
+brother's prescription. The disorder, in two days, became mortal. The
+brain, which is thought to be the seat of the mind, was as violently
+affected as the heart, which, we are told, is the seat of the passions.
+By what incomprehensible mechanism are our organs held in subjection to
+sentiment and thought? How is it that a single melancholy idea shall
+disturb the whole course of the blood; and that the blood should in turn
+communicate irregularities to the human understanding? What is that
+unknown fluid which certainly exists and which, quicker and more active
+than light, flies in less than the twinkling of an eye into all the
+channels of life,--produces sensations, memory, joy or grief, reason or
+frenzy,--recalls with horror what we would choose to forget; and renders
+a thinking animal, either a subject of admiration, or an object of pity
+and compassion?
+
+These were the reflections of the good old Gordon; and these
+observations, so natural, which men seldom make, did not prevent his
+feeling upon this occasion; for he was not of the number of those gloomy
+philosophers who pique themselves upon being insensible.
+
+He was affected at the fate of this young woman, like a father who sees
+his dear child yielding to a slow death. The Abbé de St. Yves was
+desperate; the prior and his sister shed floods of tears; but who could
+describe the situation of her lover? All expression falls far short of
+the intensity of his affliction.
+
+His aunt, almost lifeless, supported the head of the departing fair in
+her feeble arms; her brother was upon his knees at the foot of the bed;
+her lover squeezed her hand, which he bathed in tears; his groans rent
+the air, whilst he called her his guardian angel, his life, his hope,
+his better half, his mistress, his wife. At the word wife, a sigh
+escaped her, whilst she looked upon him with inexpressible tenderness,
+and then abruptly gave a horrid scream. Presently in one of those
+intervals when grief, the oppression of the senses, and pain subside and
+leave the soul its liberty and powers, she cried out:
+
+"I your wife? Ah! dear lover, this name, this happiness, this felicity,
+were not destined for me! I die, and I deserve it. O idol of my heart! O
+you, whom I sacrificed to infernal demons--it is done--I am
+punished--live and be happy!"
+
+These tender but dreadful expressions were incomprehensible; yet they
+melted and terrified every heart. She had the courage to explain
+herself, and her auditors quaked with astonishment, grief, and pity.
+They with one voice detested the man in power, who repaired a shocking
+act of injustice only by his crimes, and who had forced the most amiable
+innocence to be his accomplice.
+
+"Who? you guilty?" said her lover, "no, you are not. Guilt can only be
+in the heart;--yours is devoted solely to virtue and to me."
+
+This opinion he corroborated by such expressions as seemed to recall the
+beautiful Miss St. Yves back to life. She felt some consolation from
+them and was astonished at being still beloved. The aged Gordon would
+have condemned her at the time he was only a Jansenist; but having
+attained wisdom, he esteemed her, and wept.
+
+In the midst of these lamentations and fears, whilst the dangerous
+situation of this worthy girl engrossed every breast, and all were in
+the greatest consternation, a courier arrived from court.
+
+"A courier? from whom, and upon what account?"
+
+He was sent by the king's confessor to the Prior of the Mountain. It was
+not Father de la Chaise who wrote, but brother Vadbled, his valet de
+chambre, a man of great consequence at that time, who acquainted the
+archbishops with the reverend Father's pleasure, who gave audiences,
+promised benefices, and sometimes issued _lettres de cachet_.
+
+He wrote to the Abbé of the Mountain, "that his reverence had been
+informed of his nephew's exploits: that his being sent to prison was
+through mistake; that such little accidents frequently happened, and
+should therefore not be attended to; and, in fine, it behoved him, the
+prior, to come and present his nephew the next day: that he was to bring
+with him that good man Gordon; and that he, brother Vadbled, should
+introduce them to his reverence and M. de Louvois, who would say a word
+to them in his anti-chamber."
+
+To which he added, "that the history of the Huron, and his combat
+against the English, had been related to the king; that doubtless the
+king would deign to take notice of him in passing through the gallery,
+and perhaps he might even nod his head to him."
+
+The letter concluded by flattering him with hopes that all the ladies of
+the court would show their eagerness to recognize his nephew; and that
+several among them would say to him, "Good day, Mr. Huron;" and that he
+would certainly be talked of at the king's supper.
+
+The letter was signed, "Your affectionate brother Jesuit, Vadbled."
+
+The prior having read the letter aloud, his furious nephew for an
+instant suppressed his rage, and said nothing to the bearer: but turning
+toward the companion of his misfortunes, asked him, what he thought of
+that communication? Gordon replied:
+
+"This, then, is the way that men are treated! They are first beaten and
+then, like monkeys, they dance."
+
+The Huron resuming his character, which always returned in the great
+emotions of his soul, tore the letter to bits, and threw them in the
+courier's face:
+
+"There is my answer," said he.
+
+[Illustration: Death of Miss St. Ives.--"When the fatal moment came, all
+around her most feelingly expressed their grief by incessant tears and
+lamentations. The Huron was senseless. Great souls feel more violent
+sensations than those of less tender dispositions."]
+
+His uncle was in terror, and fancied he saw thunderbolts, and twenty
+_lettres de cachet_ at once fall upon him. He immediately wrote the best
+excuse he could for these transports of passion in a young man, which he
+considered as the ebullition of a great soul.
+
+But a solicitude of a more melancholy stamp now seized every heart. The
+beautiful and unfortunate Miss St. Yves was already sensible of her
+approaching end; she was serene, but it was that kind of shocking
+serenity, the result of exhausted nature being no longer able to
+withstand the conflict.
+
+"Oh, my dear lover!" said she, in a faltering voice, "death punishes me
+for my weakness; but I expire with the consolation of knowing you are
+free. I adored you whilst I betrayed you, and I adore you in bidding you
+an eternal adieu."
+
+She did not make a parade of a ridiculous fortitude; she did not
+understand that miserable glory of having some of her neighbors say,
+"she died with courage." Who, at twenty, can be at once torn from her
+lover, from life, and what is called honor, without regret, without some
+pangs? She felt all the horror of her situation, and made it felt by
+those expiring looks and accents which speak with so much energy. In a
+word, she shed tears like other people at those intervals that she was
+capable of giving vent to them.
+
+Let others strive to celebrate the pompous deaths of those who
+insensibly rush into destruction. This is the lot of all animals. We die
+like them only when age or disorders make us resemble them by the
+paralysis of our organs. Whoever suffers a great loss must feel great
+regrets. If they are stifled, it is nothing but vanity that is pursued,
+even in the arms of death.
+
+When the fatal moment came, all around her most feelingly expressed
+their grief by incessant tears and lamentations. The Huron was
+senseless. Great souls feel more violent sensations than those of less
+tender dispositions. The good old Gordon knew enough of his companion to
+dread that when he came to himself he would be guilty of suicide. All
+kinds of arms were put out of his way, which the unfortunate young man
+perceived. He said to his relations and Gordon, without shedding any
+tears, without a groan, or the least emotion:
+
+"Do you then think that any one upon earth hath the right and power to
+prevent my putting an end to my life?"
+
+Gordon took care to avoid making a parade of those commonplace
+declamations and arguments which are relied on to prove that we are not
+allowed to exercise our liberty in ceasing to be when we are in a
+wretched situation; that we should not leave the house when we can no
+longer remain in it; that a man is like a soldier at his post; as if it
+signified to the Being of beings whether the conjunction of the
+particles of matter were in one spot or another. Impotent reasons, to
+which a firm and concentrated despair disdains to listen, and to which
+Cato replied only with the use of a poniard.
+
+The Huron's sullen and dreadful silence, his doleful aspect, his
+trembling lips, and the shivering of his whole frame, communicated to
+every spectator's soul that mixture of compassion and terror, which
+fetters all our powers, precludes discourse, or compels us to speak only
+in faltering accents. The hostess and her family were excited. They
+trembled to behold the state of his desperation, yet all kept their eyes
+upon him, and attended to all his motions. The ice-cold corpse of the
+beautiful Miss St. Yves had already been carried into a lower hall out
+of the sight of her lover, who seemed still in search of it, though
+incapable of observing any object.
+
+In the midst of this spectacle of death, whilst the dead body was
+exposed at the door of the house; whilst two priests by the side of the
+holy water-pot were repeating prayers with an air of distraction; whilst
+some passengers, through idleness, sprinkled the bier with some drops of
+holy water, and others went their ways quite indifferent; whilst her
+relations were drowned in tears, and every one thought the lover would
+not survive his loss;--in this situation St. Pouange arrived with his
+female Versailles friend.
+
+He alighted from his coach; and the first object that presented itself
+was a bier: he turned away his eyes with that simple distaste of a man
+bred up in pleasures, and who thinks he should avoid a spectacle which
+might recall him to the contemplation of human misery. He is inclined to
+go up stairs, whilst his female friend enquires through curiosity whose
+funeral it is. The name of Miss St. Yves is pronounced. At this name she
+turned, and gave a piercing shriek. St. Pouange now returns, whilst
+surprise and grief possess his soul. The good old Gordon stood with
+streaming eyes. He for a moment ceased his lamentations, to acquaint the
+courtier with all the circumstances of this melancholy catastrophe. He
+spoke with that authority which is the companion to sorrow and virtue.
+St. Pouange was not naturally wicked. The torrent of business and
+amusements had hurried away his soul, which was not yet acquainted with
+itself. He did not border upon that grey age which usually hardens the
+hearts of ministers. He listened to Gordon with a downcast look, and
+some tears escaped him, which he was surprised to shed. In a word, he
+repented.
+
+"I will," said he, "absolutely see this extraordinary man you have
+mentioned to me. He affects me almost as much as this innocent victim,
+whose death I have occasioned."
+
+Gordon followed him as far as the chamber in which the Prior Kerkabon,
+the Abbé St. Yves, and some neighbors, were striving to recall to life
+the young man, who had again fainted.
+
+"I have been the cause of your misfortunes," said the deputy minister,
+when the Huron had regained consciousness, "and my whole life shall be
+employed in making reparation for my error."
+
+The first idea that struck the Huron was to kill him and then destroy
+himself. But he was without arms, and closely watched. St. Pouange was
+not repulsed with refusals accompanied with reproach, contempt, and the
+insults he deserved, which were lavished upon him. Time softens
+everything. Mons. de Louvois at length succeeded in making an excellent
+officer of the Huron, who has appeared under another name at Paris and
+in the army, respected by all honest men, being at once a warrior and an
+intrepid philosopher.
+
+He never mentioned this adventure without being greatly affected, and
+yet his greatest consolation was to speak of it. He cherished the memory
+of his beloved Miss St. Yves to the last moment of his life.[1]
+
+The Abbé St. Yves and the Prior were each provided with good livings.
+The good Kerkabon rather chose to see his nephew invested with military
+honors than in the sub-deaconry. The devotee of Versailles kept the
+diamond earrings, and received besides a handsome present. Father
+_Tout-à-tous_ had presents of chocolate, coffee, and confectionery, with
+the _Meditations of the Reverend Father Croiset_, and the _Flower of the
+Saints_, bound in Morocco. Good old Gordon lived with the Huron till his
+death, in the most friendly intimacy: he had also a benefice, and
+forgot, forever, essential grace, and the concomitant concourse. He took
+for his motto, "Misfortunes are of some use." How many worthy people are
+there in the world who may justly say, "Misfortunes are good for
+nothing?"
+
+
+[1] In the Play, _Civilization_, the Huron musingly soliloquizes:
+
+     "And what is love to man? An only gift
+      Too precious to be idly thrown away!
+      For is it not as precious as our land,
+      Which, heeding not another's golden sky--
+      Soft airs, sweet flowers, hill and dale conjoin'd
+      By nature's cunning past comparison--
+      Is still our land; and, as our land, surpasses
+      Far such fairy worlds?
+
+     "There are some dreams that last a life--mine
+      Is one of these. I shall dream on till death
+      Shall end the vision!
+
+     "It is not hard to die! And life is but
+      A shadow on the wall--a falling leaf
+      Toy'd with by autumn winds--a flower--a star
+      Among the infinite, infinitesimal!
+      We are but breath whispering against the wind,--
+      Sand in the desert!--dew upon the sea!"--E.
+
+
+
+
+
+MICROMEGAS:
+
+A SATIRE ON THE PHILOSOPHY, IGNORANCE. AND SELF-CONCEIT OF MANKIND.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: A medieval exploring vessel.][1]
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+A VOYAGE TO THE PLANET SATURN, BY A NATIVE OF SIRIUS.
+
+
+In one of the planets that revolve round the star known by the name of
+Sirius, was a certain young gentleman of promising parts, whom I had the
+honor to be acquainted with in his last voyage to this our little
+ant-hill. His name was Micromegas, an appellation admirably suited to
+all great men, and his stature amounted to eight leagues in height, that
+is, twenty-four thousand geometrical paces of five feet each.
+
+Some of your mathematicians, a set of people always useful to the
+public, will, perhaps, instantly seize the pen, and calculate that Mr.
+Micromegas, inhabitant of the country of Sirius, being from head to foot
+four and twenty thousand paces in length, making one hundred and twenty
+thousand royal feet, that we, denizens of this earth, being at a medium
+little more than five feet high, and our globe nine thousand leagues in
+circumference: these things being premised, they will then conclude that
+the periphery of the globe which produced him must be exactly one and
+twenty millions six hundred thousand times greater than that of this our
+tiny ball. Nothing in nature is more simple and common. The dominions of
+some sovereigns of Germany or Italy, which may be compassed in half an
+hour, when compared with the empires of Ottoman, Russia, or China, are
+no other than faint instances of the prodigious difference that nature
+hath made in the scale of beings. The stature of his excellency being of
+these extraordinary dimensions, all our artists will agree that the
+measure around his body might amount to fifty thousand royal feet--a
+very agreeable and just proportion.
+
+His nose being equal in length to one-third of his face, and his jolly
+countenance engrossing one-seventh part of his height, it must be owned
+that the nose of this same Sirian was six thousand three hundred and
+thirty-three royal feet to a hair, which was to be demonstrated. With
+regard to his understanding, it is one of the best cultivated I have
+known. He is perfectly well acquainted with abundance of things, some of
+which are of his own invention; for, when his age did not exceed two
+hundred and fifty years, he studied, according to the custom of the
+country, at the most celebrated university of the whole planet, and by
+the force of his genius discovered upwards of fifty propositions of
+Euclid, having the advantage by more than eighteen of Blaise Pascal,
+who, (as we are told by his own sister,) demonstrated two and thirty for
+his amusement and then left off, choosing rather to be an indifferent
+philosopher than a great mathematician.
+
+About the four hundred and fiftieth year of his age, or latter end of
+his childhood, he dissected a great number of small insects not more
+than one hundred feet in diameter, which are not perceivable by ordinary
+microscopes, of which he composed a very curious treatise, which
+involved him in some trouble. The mufti of the nation, though very old
+and very ignorant, made shift to discover in his book certain lemmas
+that were suspicious, unseemly, rash, heretic, and unsound, and
+prosecuted him with great animosity, for the subject of the author's
+inquiry was whether, in the world of Sirius, there was any difference
+between the substantial forms of a flea and a snail.
+
+Micromegas defended his philosophy with such spirit as made all the
+female sex his proselytes; and the process lasted two hundred and twenty
+years; at the end of which time, in consequence of the mufti's interest,
+the book was condemned by judges who had never read it, and the author
+expelled from court for the term of eight hundred years.
+
+Not much affected at his banishment from a court that teemed with
+nothing but turmoils and trifles, he made a very humorous song upon the
+mufti, who gave himself no trouble about the matter, and set out on his
+travels from planet to planet, in order (as the saying is) to improve
+his mind and finish his education. Those who never travel but in a
+post-chaise or berlin, will, doubtless, be astonished at the equipages
+used above; for we that strut upon this little mole hill are at a loss
+to conceive anything that surpasses our own customs. But our traveler
+was a wonderful adept in the laws of gravitation, together with the
+whole force of attraction and repulsion, and made such seasonable use of
+his knowledge, that sometimes by the help of a sunbeam, and sometimes by
+the convenience of a comet, he and his retinue glided from sphere to
+sphere, as the bird hops from one bough to another. He in a very little
+time posted through the milky way, and I am obliged to own he saw not a
+twinkle of those stars supposed to adorn that fair empyrean, which the
+illustrious Dr. Derham brags to have observed through his telescope. Not
+that I pretend to say the doctor was mistaken. God forbid! But
+Micromegas was upon the spot, an exceeding good observer, and I have no
+mind to contradict any man. Be that as it may, after many windings and
+turnings, he arrived at the planet Saturn; and, accustomed as he was to
+the sight of novelties, he could not for his life repress a supercilious
+and conceited smile, which often escapes the wisest philosopher, when he
+perceived the smallness of that globe, and the diminutive size of its
+inhabitants; for really Saturn is but about nine hundred times larger
+than this our earth, and the people of that country mere dwarfs, about a
+thousand fathoms high. In short, he at first derided those poor pigmies,
+just as an Indian fiddler laughs at the music of Lully, at his first
+arrival in Paris: but as this Sirian was a person of good sense, he soon
+perceived that a thinking being may not be altogether ridiculous, even
+though he is not quite six thousand feet high; and therefore he became
+familiar with them, after they had ceased to wonder at his extraordinary
+appearance. In particular, he contracted an intimate friendship with the
+secretary of the Academy of Saturn, a man of good understanding, who,
+though in truth he had invented nothing of his own, gave a very good
+account of the inventions of others, and enjoyed in peace the reputation
+of a little poet and great calculator. And here, for the edification of
+the reader, I will repeat a very singular conversation that one day
+passed between Mr. Secretary and Micromegas.
+
+
+[1] The Gazettes record that this vessel ran ashore on the coast of
+Bothnia, when returning from the polar circle with a party of
+philosophers on board who had been making observations, for which nobody
+has hitherto been the wiser; but, according to this romance, the vessel
+was illegally captured in the Baltic sea by the Sirian giant Micromegas
+and the Saturnian dwarf.--E.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN MICROMEGAS AND THE INHABITANT OF SATURN.
+
+
+His excellency having laid himself down, and the secretary approached
+his nose:
+
+"It must be confessed," said Micromegas, "that nature is full of
+variety."
+
+"Yes," replied the Saturnian, "nature is like a parterre, whose
+flowers--"
+
+"Pshaw!" cried the other, "a truce with your parterres."
+
+"It is," resumed the secretary, "like an assembly of fair and brown
+women, whose dresses--"
+
+"What a plague have I to do with your brunettes?" said our traveler.
+
+"Then it is like a gallery of pictures, the strokes of which--"
+
+"Not at all," answered Micromegas, "I tell you once for all, nature is
+like nature, and comparisons are odious."
+
+"Well, to please you," said the secretary--
+
+"I won't be pleased," replied the Sirian, "I want to be instructed;
+begin, therefore, without further preamble, and tell me how many senses
+the people of this world enjoy."
+
+"We have seventy and two," said the academician, "but we are daily
+complaining of the small number, as our imagination transcends our
+wants, for, with the seventy-two senses, our five moons and ring, we
+find ourselves very much restricted; and notwithstanding our curiosity,
+and the no small number of those passions that result from these few
+senses, we have still time enough to be tired of idleness."
+
+"I sincerely believe what you say," cried Micromegas "for, though we
+Sirians have near a thousand different senses, there still remains a
+certain vague desire, an unaccountable inquietude incessantly
+admonishing us of our own unimportance, and giving us to understand that
+there are other beings who are much our superiors in point of
+perfection. I have traveled a little, and seen mortals both above and
+below myself in the scale of being, but I have met with none who had not
+more desire than necessity, and more want than gratification. Perhaps I
+shall one day arrive in some country where nought is wanting, but
+hitherto I have had no certain information of such a happy land."
+
+The Saturnian and his guest exhausted themselves in conjectures upon
+this subject, and after abundance of argumentation equally ingenious and
+uncertain, were fain to return to matter of fact.
+
+"To what age do you commonly live?" said the Sirian.
+
+"Lack-a-day! a mere trifle," replied the little gentleman.
+
+"It is the very same case with us," resumed the other, "the shortness of
+life is our daily complaint, so that this must be an universal law in
+nature."
+
+"Alas!" cried the Saturnian, "few, very few on this globe outlive five
+hundred great revolutions of the sun; (these, according to our way of
+reckoning, amount to about fifteen thousand years.) So, you see, we in a
+manner begin to die the very moment we are born: our existence is no
+more than a point, our duration an instant, and our globe an atom.
+Scarce do we begin to learn a little, when death intervenes before we
+can profit by experience. For my own part, I am deterred from laying
+schemes when I consider myself as a single drop in the midst of an
+immense ocean. I am particularly ashamed, in your presence, of the
+ridiculous figure I make among my fellow-creatures."
+
+To this declaration, Micromegas replied.
+
+"If you were not a philosopher, I should be afraid of mortifying your
+pride by telling you that the term of our lives is seven hundred times
+longer than the date of your existence: but you are very sensible that
+when the texture of the body is resolved, in order to reanimate nature
+in another form, which is the consequence of what we call death--when
+that moment of change arrives, there is not the least difference betwixt
+having lived a whole eternity, or a single day. I have been in some
+countries where the people live a thousand times longer than with us,
+and yet they murmured at the shortness of their time. But one will find
+every where some few persons of good sense, who know how to make the
+best of their portion, and thank the author of nature for his bounty.
+There is a profusion of variety scattered through the universe, and yet
+there is an admirable vein of uniformity that runs through the whole:
+for example, all thinking beings are different among themselves, though
+at bottom they resemble one another in the powers and passions of the
+soul. Matter, though interminable, hath different properties in every
+sphere. How many principal attributes do you reckon in the matter of
+this world?"
+
+"If you mean those properties," said the Saturnian, "without which we
+believe this our globe could not subsist, we reckon in all three
+hundred, such as extent, impenetrability, motion, gravitation,
+divisibility, et cætera."
+
+"That small number," replied the traveler, "probably answers the views
+of the creator on this your narrow sphere. I adore his wisdom in all his
+works. I see infinite variety, but every where proportion. Your globe is
+small: so are the inhabitants. You have few sensations; because your
+matter is endued with few properties. These are the works of unerring
+providence. Of what color does your sun appear when accurately
+examined?"
+
+"Of a yellowish white," answered the Saturnian, "and in separating one
+of his rays we find it contains seven colors."
+
+"Our sun," said the Sirian, "is of a reddish hue, and we have no less
+than thirty-nine original colors. Among all the suns I have seen there
+is no sort of resemblance, and in this sphere of yours there is not one
+face like another."
+
+After divers questions of this nature, he asked how many substances,
+essentially different, they counted in the world of Saturn; and
+understood that they numbered but thirty: such as God; space; matter;
+beings endowed with sense and extension; beings that have extension,
+sense, and reflection; thinking beings who have no extension; those that
+are penetrable; those that are impenetrable, and also all others. But
+this Saturnian philosopher was prodigiously astonished when the Sirian
+told him they had no less than three hundred, and that he himself had
+discovered three thousand more in the course of his travels. In short,
+after having communicated to each other what they knew, and even what
+they did not know, and argued during a complete revolution of the sun,
+they resolved to set out together on a small philosophical tour.
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+THE VOYAGE OF THESE INHABITANTS OF OTHER WORLDS.
+
+
+Our two philosophers were just ready to embark for the atmosphere of
+Saturn, with a large provision of mathematical instruments, when the
+Saturnian's mistress, having got an inkling of their design, came all in
+tears to make her protests. She was a handsome brunette, though not
+above six hundred and threescore fathoms high; but her agreeable
+attractions made amends for the smallness of her stature.
+
+"Ah! cruel man," cried she, "after a courtship of fifteen hundred years,
+when at length I surrendered, and became your wife, and scarce have
+passed two hundred more in thy embraces, to leave me thus, before the
+honeymoon is over, and go a rambling with a giant of another world! Go,
+go, thou art a mere virtuoso, devoid of tenderness and love! If thou
+wert a true Saturnian, thou wouldst be faithful and invariable. Ah!
+whither art thou going? what is thy design? Our five moons are not so
+inconstant, nor our ring so changeable as thee! But take this along with
+thee, henceforth I ne'er shall love another man."
+
+The little gentleman embraced and wept over her, notwithstanding his
+philosophy; and the lady, after having swooned with great decency, went
+to console herself with more agreeable company.
+
+Meanwhile our two virtuosi set out, and at one jump leaped upon the
+ring, which they found pretty flat, according to the ingenious guess of
+an illustrious inhabitant of this our little earth. From thence they
+easily slipped from moon to moon; and a comet chancing to pass, they
+sprang upon it with all their servants and apparatus. Thus carried about
+one hundred and fifty million of leagues, they met with the satellites
+of Jupiter, and arrived upon the body of the planet itself, where they
+continued a whole year; during which they learned some very curious
+secrets, which would actually be sent to the press, were it not for fear
+of the gentlemen inquisitors, who have found among them some corollaries
+very hard of digestion. Nevertheless, I have read the manuscript in the
+library of the illustrious archbishop of ---- who, with that generosity
+and goodness which should ever be commended, has granted me permission
+to peruse his books; wherefore I promise he shall have a long article in
+the next edition of Moreri, and I shall not forget the young gentlemen,
+his sons, who give us such pleasing hopes of seeing perpetuated the race
+of their illustrious father. But to return to our travelers. When they
+took leave of Jupiter, they traversed a space of about one hundred
+millions of leagues, and coasting along the planet Mars, which is well
+known to be five times smaller than our little earth, they descried two
+moons subservient to that orb, which have escaped the observation of all
+our astronomers. I know father Castel will write, and that pleasantly
+enough, against the existence of these two moons; but I entirely refer
+myself to those who reason by analogy. Those worthy philosophers are
+very sensible that Mars, which is at such a distance from the sun, must
+be in a very uncomfortable situation, without the benefit of a couple of
+moons. Be that as it may, our gentlemen found the planet so small, that
+they were afraid they should not find room to take a little repose; so
+that they pursued their journey like two travelers who despise the
+paltry accommodation of a village, and push forward to the next market
+town. But the Sirian and his companion soon repented of their delicacy,
+for they journeyed a long time without finding a resting place, till at
+length they discerned a small speck, which was the Earth. Coming from
+Jupiter, they could not but be moved with compassion at the sight of
+this miserable spot, upon which, however, they resolved to land, lest
+they should be a second time disappointed. They accordingly moved toward
+the tail of the comet, where, finding an Aurora Borealis ready to set
+sail, they embarked, and arrived on the northern coast of the Baltic on
+the fifth day of July, new style, in the year 1737.
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+WHAT BEFELL THEM UPON THIS OUR GLOBE.
+
+
+Having taken some repose, and being desirous of reconnoitering the
+narrow field in which they were, they traversed it at once from north to
+south. Every step of the Sirian and his attendants measured about thirty
+thousand royal feet: whereas, the dwarf of Saturn, whose stature did not
+exceed a thousand fathoms, followed at a distance quite out of breath;
+because, for every single stride of his companion, he was obliged to
+make twelve good steps at least. The reader may figure to himself, (if
+we are allowed to make such comparisons,) a very little rough spaniel
+dodging after a captain of the Prussian grenadiers.
+
+As those strangers walked at a good pace, they compassed the globe in
+six and thirty hours; the sun, it is true, or rather the earth,
+describes the same space in the course of one day; but it must be
+observed that it is much easier to turn upon an axis than to walk
+a-foot. Behold them then returned to the spot from whence they had set
+out, after having discovered that almost imperceptible sea, which is
+called the Mediterranean; and the other narrow pond that surrounds this
+mole-hill, under the denomination of the great ocean; in wading through
+which the dwarf had never wet his mid-leg, while the other scarce
+moistened his heel. In going and coming through both hemispheres, they
+did all that lay in their power to discover whether or not the globe was
+inhabited. They stooped, they lay down, they groped in every corner, but
+their eyes and hands were not at all proportioned to the small beings
+that crawl upon this earth; and, therefore, they could not find the
+smallest reason to suspect that we and our fellow-citizens of this globe
+had the honor to exist.
+
+The dwarf, who sometimes judged too hastily, concluded at once that
+there was no living creatures upon earth; and his chief reason was, that
+he had seen nobody. But Micromegas, in a polite manner, made him
+sensible of the unjust conclusion:
+
+"For," said he, "with your diminutive eyes you cannot see certain stars
+of the fiftieth magnitude, which I easily perceive; and do you take it
+for granted that no such stars exist?"
+
+"But I have groped with great care?" replied the dwarf.
+
+"Then your sense of feeling must be bad," said the other.
+
+"But this globe," said the dwarf, "is ill contrived; and so irregular in
+its form as to be quite ridiculous. The whole together looks like a
+chaos. Do but observe these little rivulets; not one of them runs in a
+straight line; and these ponds which are neither round, square, nor
+oval, nor indeed of any regular figure, together with these little sharp
+pebbles, (meaning the mountains,) that roughen the whole surface of the
+globe, and have torn all the skin from my feet. Besides, pray take
+notice of the shape of the whole, how it flattens at the poles, and
+turns round the sun in an awkward oblique manner, so as that the polar
+circles cannot possibly be cultivated. Truly, what makes me believe
+there is no inhabitant on this sphere, is a full persuasion that no
+sensible being would live in such a disagreeable place."
+
+"What then?" said Micromegas, "perhaps the beings that inhabit it come
+not under that denomination; but, to all appearance, it was not made for
+nothing. Everything here seems to you irregular; because you fetch all
+your comparisons from Jupiter or Saturn. Perhaps this is the very reason
+of the seeming confusion which you condemn; have I not told you, that in
+the course of my travels I have always met with variety?"
+
+The Saturnian replied to all these arguments; and perhaps the dispute
+would have known no end, if Micromegas, in the heat of the contest, had
+not luckily broken the string of his diamond necklace, so that the
+jewels fell to the ground; they consisted of pretty small unequal
+karats, the largest of which weighed four hundred pounds, and the
+smallest fifty. The dwarf, in helping to pick them up, perceived, as
+they approached his eye, that every single diamond was cut in such a
+manner as to answer the purpose of an excellent microscope. He therefore
+took up a small one, about one hundred and sixty feet in diameter, and
+applied it to his eye, while Micromegas chose another of two thousand
+five hundred feet. Though they were of excellent powers, the observers
+could perceive nothing by their assistance, so they were altered and
+adjusted. At length, the inhabitant of Saturn discerned something almost
+imperceptible moving between two waves in the Baltic. This was no other
+than a whale, which, in a dexterous manner, he caught with his little
+finger, and, placing it on the nail of his thumb, showed it to the
+Syrian, who laughed heartily at the excessive smallness peculiar to
+the inhabitants of this our globe. The Saturnian, by this time convinced
+that our world was inhabited, began to imagine we had no other animals
+than whales; and being a mighty debater, he forthwith set about
+investigating the origin and motion of this small atom, curious to know
+whether or not it was furnished with ideas, judgment, and free will.
+Micromegas was very much perplexed upon this subject. He examined the
+animal with the most patient attention, and the result of his inquiry
+was, that he could see no reason to believe a soul was lodged in such a
+body. The two travelers were actually inclined to think there was no
+such thing as mind in this our habitation, when, by the help of their
+microscope, they perceived something as large as a whale floating upon
+the surface of the sea. It is well known that, at this period, a flight
+of philosophers were upon their return from the polar circle, where they
+had been making observations, for which nobody has hitherto been the
+wiser. The gazettes record, that their vessel ran ashore on the coast of
+Bothnia and that they with great difficulty saved their lives; but in
+this world one can never dive to the bottom of things. For my own part,
+I will ingenuously recount the transaction just as it happened, without
+any addition of my own; and this is no small effort in a modern
+historian.
+
+
+
+
+V.
+
+THE TRAVELERS CAPTURE A VESSEL.
+
+
+Micromegas stretched out his hand gently toward the place where the
+object appeared, and advanced two fingers, which he instantly pulled
+back, for fear of being disappointed, then opening softly and shutting
+them all at once, he very dexterously seized the ship that contained
+those gentlemen, and placed it on his nail, avoiding too much pressure,
+which might have crushed the whole in pieces.
+
+"This," said the Saturnian dwarf, "is a creature very different from the
+former."
+
+Upon which the Sirian placing the supposed animal in the hollow of his
+hand, the passengers and crew, who believed themselves thrown by a
+hurricane upon some rock, began to put themselves in motion. The sailors
+having hoisted out some casks of wine, jumped after them into the hand
+of Micromegas: the mathematicians having secured their quadrants,
+sectors, and Lapland servants, went overboard at a different place, and
+made such a bustle in their descent, that the Sirian at length felt his
+fingers tickled by something that seemed to move. An iron bar chanced to
+penetrate about a foot deep into his forefinger; and from this prick he
+concluded that something had issued from the little animal he held in
+his hand; but at first he suspected nothing more: for the microscope,
+that scarce rendered a whale and a ship visible, had no effect upon an
+object so imperceptible as man.
+
+I do not intend to shock the vanity of any person whatever; but here I
+am obliged to beg your people of importance to consider that, supposing
+the stature of a man to be about five feet, we mortals make just such a
+figure upon the earth, as an animal the sixty thousandth part of a foot
+in height, would exhibit upon a bowl ten feet in circumference. When you
+reflect upon a being who could hold this whole earth in the palm of his
+hand, and is provided with organs proportioned to those we possess, you
+will easily conceive that there must be a great variety of created
+substances;--and pray, what must such beings think of those battles by
+which a conqueror gains a small village, to lose it again in the
+sequel?
+
+[Illustration: Micromegas captures a ship.]
+
+I do not at all doubt, but if some captain of grenadiers should chance
+to read this work, he would add two large feet at least to the caps of
+his company; but I assure him his labor will be in vain; for, do what he
+will, he and his soldiers will never be other than infinitely diminutive
+and inconsiderable.
+
+What wonderful address must have been inherent in our Sirian
+philosopher, that enabled him to perceive those atoms of which we have
+been speaking. When Leuwenhoek and Hartsoecker observed the first
+rudiments of which we are formed, they did not make such an astonishing
+discovery. What pleasure, therefore, was the portion of Micromegas, in
+observing the motion of those little machines, in examining all their
+pranks, and following them in all their operations! With what joy did he
+put his microscope into his companion's hand; and with what transport
+did they both at once exclaim:
+
+"I see them distinctly,--don't you see them carrying burdens, lying down
+and rising up again?"
+
+So saying, their hands shook with eagerness to see, and apprehension to
+lose such uncommon objects. The Saturnian, making a sudden transition
+from the most cautious distrust to the most excessive credulity,
+imagined he saw them engaged in their devotions and cried aloud in
+astonishment.
+
+Nevertheless, he was deceived by appearances: a case too common, whether
+we do or do not make use of microscopes.
+
+
+
+
+VI.
+
+WHAT HAPPENED IN THEIR INTERCOURSE WITH MEN.
+
+
+Micromegas being a much better observer than the dwarf, perceived
+distinctly that those atoms spoke; and made the remark to his companion,
+who was so much ashamed of being mistaken in his first suggestion, that
+he would not believe such a puny species could possibly communicate
+their ideas: for, though he had the gift of tongues, as well as his
+companion, he could not hear those particles speak; and therefore
+supposed they had no language.
+
+"Besides, how should such imperceptible beings have the organs of
+speech? and what in the name of Jove can they say to one another? In
+order to speak, they must have something like thought, and if they
+think, they must surely have something equivalent to a soul. Now, to
+attribute anything like a soul to such an insect species appears a mere
+absurdity."
+
+"But just now," replied the Sirian, "you believed they were engaged in
+devotional exercises; and do you think this could be done without
+thinking, without using some sort of language, or at least some way of
+making themselves understood? Or do you suppose it is more difficult to
+advance an argument than to engage in physical exercise? For my own
+part, I look upon all faculties as alike mysterious."
+
+"I will no longer venture to believe or deny," answered the dwarf. "In
+short I have no opinion at all, let us endeavor to examine these
+insects, and we will reason upon them afterward."
+
+"With all my heart," said Micromegas, who, taking out a pair of scissors
+which he kept for paring his nails, cut off a paring from his thumb
+nail, of which he immediately formed a large kind of speaking trumpet,
+like a vast tunnel, and clapped the pipe to his ear: as the
+circumference of this machine included the ship and all the crew, the
+most feeble voice was conveyed along the circular fibres of the nail; so
+that, thanks to his industry, the philosopher could distinctly hear the
+buzzing of our insects that were below. In a few hours he distinguished
+articulate sounds, and at last plainly understood the French language.
+The dwarf heard the same, though with more difficulty.
+
+The astonishment of our travelers increased every instant. They heard a
+nest of mites talk in a very sensible strain: and that _Lusus Naturæ_?
+seemed to them inexplicable. You need not doubt but the Sirian and his
+dwarf glowed with impatience to enter into conversation with such atoms.
+Micromegas being afraid that his voice, like thunder, would deafen and
+confound the mites, without being understood by them, saw the necessity
+of diminishing the sound; each, therefore, put into his mouth a sort of
+small toothpick, the slender end of which reached to the vessel. The
+Sirian setting the dwarf upon his knees, and the ship and crew upon his
+nail, held down his head and spoke softly. In fine, having taken these
+and a great many more precautions, he addressed himself to them in these
+words:
+
+"O ye invisible insects, whom the hand of the Creator hath deigned to
+produce in the abyss of infinite littleness! I give praise to his
+goodness, in that he hath been pleased to disclose unto me those secrets
+that seemed to be impenetrable."
+
+If ever there was such a thing as astonishment, it seized upon the
+people who heard this address, and who could not conceive from whence it
+proceeded. The chaplain of the ship repeated exorcisms, the sailors
+swore, and the philosophers formed a system; but, notwithstanding all
+their systems, they could not divine who the person was that spoke to
+them. Then the dwarf of Saturn, whose voice was softer than that of
+Micromegas, gave them briefly to understand what species of beings they
+had to do with. He related the particulars of their voyage from Saturn,
+made them acquainted with the rank and quality of Monsieur Micromegas;
+and, after having pitied their smallness, asked if they had always been
+in that miserable state so near akin to annihilation; and what their
+business was upon that globe which seemed to be the property of whales.
+He also desired to know if they were happy in their situation? if they
+were inspired with souls? and put a hundred questions of the like
+nature.
+
+A certain mathematician on board, braver than the rest, and shocked to
+hear his soul called in question, planted his quadrant, and having taken
+two observations of this interlocutor, said: "You believe then, Mr.,
+what's your name, that because you measure from head to foot a thousand
+fathoms--"
+
+"A thousand fathoms!" cried the dwarf, "good heavens! How should he know
+the height of my stature? A thousand fathoms! My very dimensions to a
+hair. What, measured by a mite! This atom, forsooth, is a geometrician,
+and knows exactly how tall I am; while I, who can scarce perceive him
+through a microscope, am utterly ignorant of his extent!"
+
+"Yes, I have taken your measure," answered the philosopher, "and I will
+now do the same by your tall companion."
+
+The proposal was embraced: his excellency reclined upon his side; for,
+had he stood upright, his head would have reached too far above the
+clouds. Our mathematicians planted a tall tree near him, and then, by a
+series of triangles joined together, they discovered that the object of
+their observation was a strapping youth, exactly one hundred and twenty
+thousand royal feet in length. In consequence of this calculation,
+Micromegas uttered these words:
+
+"I am now more than ever convinced that we ought to judge of nothing by
+its external magnitude. O God! who hast bestowed understanding upon such
+seemingly contemptible substances, thou canst with equal ease produce
+that which is infinitely small, as that which is incredibly great: and
+if it be possible, that among thy works there are beings still more
+diminutive than these, they may nevertheless, be endued with
+understanding superior to the intelligence of those stupendous animals I
+have seen in heaven, a single foot of whom is larger than this whole
+globe on which I have alighted."
+
+One of the philosophers assured him that there were intelligent beings
+much smaller than men, and recounted not only Virgil's whole fable of
+the bees, but also described all that Swammerdam hath discovered, and
+Réaumur dissected. In a word, he informed him that there are animals
+which bear the same proportion to bees, that bees bear to man; the same
+as the Sirian himself compared to those vast beings whom he had
+mentioned; and as those huge animals are to other substances, before
+whom they would appear like so many particles of dust. Here the
+conversation became very interesting, and Micromegas proceeded in these
+words:
+
+"O ye intelligent atoms, in whom the Supreme Being hath been pleased to
+manifest his omniscience and power, without all doubt your joys on this
+earth must be pure and exquisite: for, being unincumbered with matter,
+and, to all appearance, little else than soul, you must spend your lives
+in the delights of pleasure and reflection, which are the true
+enjoyments of a perfect spirit. True happiness I have no where found;
+but certainly here it dwells."
+
+At this harangue all the philosophers shook their heads, and one among
+them, more candid than his brethren, frankly owned, that excepting a
+very small number of inhabitants who were very little esteemed by their
+fellows, all the rest were a parcel of knaves, fools, and miserable
+wretches.
+
+"We have matter enough," said he, "to do abundance of mischief, if
+mischief comes from matter; and too much understanding, if evil flows
+from understanding. You must know, for example, that at this very
+moment, while I am speaking, there are one hundred thousand animals of
+our own species, covered with hats, slaying an equal number of their
+fellow-creatures, who wear turbans; at least they are either slaying or
+being slain; and this hath usually been the case all over the earth from
+time immemorial."
+
+The Sirian, shuddering at this information, begged to know the cause of
+those horrible quarrels among such a puny race; and was given to
+understand that the subject of the dispute was a pitiful mole-hill
+[called Palestine,] no larger than his heel. Not that any one of those
+millions who cut one another's throats pretends to have the least claim
+to the smallest particle of that clod. The question is, whether it shall
+belong to a certain person who is known by the name of Sultan, or to
+another whom (for what reason I know not) they dignify with the
+appellation of Pope. Neither the one nor the other has seen or ever will
+see the pitiful corner in question; and probably none of these wretches,
+who so madly destroy each other, ever beheld the ruler on whose account
+they are so mercilessly sacrificed!
+
+"Ah, miscreants!" cried the indignant Sirian, "such excess of desperate
+rage is beyond conception. I have a good mind to take two or three
+steps, and trample the whole nest of such ridiculous assassins under my
+feet."
+
+"Don't give yourself the trouble," replied the philosopher, "they are
+industrious enough in procuring their own destruction. At the end of ten
+years the hundredth part of those wretches will not survive; for you
+must know that, though they should not draw a sword in the cause they
+have espoused, famine, fatigue, and intemperance, would sweep almost all
+of them from the face of the earth. Besides, the punishment should not
+be inflicted upon them, but upon those sedentary and slothful
+barbarians, who, from their palaces, give orders for murdering a million
+of men and then solemnly thank God for their success."
+
+Our traveler was moved with compassion for the entire human race, in
+which he discovered such astonishing contrasts. "Since you are of the
+small number of the wise," said he, "and in all likelihood do not engage
+yourselves in the trade of murder for hire, be so good as to tell me
+your occupation."
+
+"We anatomize flies," replied the philosopher, "we measure lines, we
+make calculations, we agree upon two or three points which we
+understand, and dispute upon two or three thousand that are beyond our
+comprehension."
+
+"How far," said the Sirian, "do you reckon the distance between the
+great star of the constellation Gemini and that called Caniculæ?"
+
+To this question all of them answered with one voice: "Thirty-two
+degrees and a half."
+
+"And what is the distance from hence to the moon?"
+
+"Sixty semi-diameters of the earth."
+
+He then thought to puzzle them by asking the weight of the air; but they
+answered distinctly, that common air is about nine hundred times
+specifically lighter than an equal column of the lightest water, and
+nineteen hundred times lighter than current gold. The little dwarf of
+Saturn, astonished at their answers, was now tempted to believe those
+people sorcerers, who, but a quarter of an hour before, he would not
+allow were inspired with souls.
+
+"Well," said Micromegas, "since you know so well what is without you,
+doubtless you are still more perfectly acquainted with that which is
+within. Tell me what is the soul, and how do your ideas originate?"
+
+Here the philosophers spoke altogether as before; but each was of a
+different opinion. The eldest quoted Aristotle; another pronounced the
+name of Descartes; a third mentioned Mallebranche; a fourth Leibnitz;
+and a fifth Locke. An old peripatecian lifting up his voice, exclaimed
+with an air of confidence. "The soul is perfection and reason, having
+power to be such as it is, as Aristotle expressly declares, page 633, of
+the Louvre edition:
+
+     "_Εντελεχεῖά τις ἐστι, καὶ λόγος τοὖ δύναμιν ἓχοντος_
+      _τοιοὗδι εἷ ταἷ_."
+
+"I am not very well versed in Greek," said the giant.
+
+"Nor I either," replied the philosophical mite.
+
+"Why then do you quote that same Aristotle in Greek?" resumed the
+Sirian.
+
+"Because," answered the other, "it is but reasonable we should quote
+what we do not comprehend in a language we do not understand."
+
+Here the Cartesian interposing: "The soul," said he, "is a pure spirit
+or intelligence, which hath received before birth all the metaphysical
+ideas; but after that event it is obliged to go to school and learn
+anew the knowledge which it hath lost."
+
+"So it was necessary," replied the animal of eight leagues, "that thy
+soul should be learned before birth, in order to be so ignorant when
+thou hast got a beard upon thy chin. But what dost thou understand by
+spirit?"
+
+"I have no idea of it," said the philosopher, "indeed it is supposed to
+be immaterial."
+
+"At least, thou knowest what matter is?" resumed the Sirian.
+
+"Perfectly well," answered the other. "For example: that stone is gray,
+is of a certain figure, has three dimensions, specific weight, and
+divisibility."
+
+"I want to know," said the giant, "what that object is, which, according
+to thy observation, hath a gray color, weight, and divisibility. Thou
+seest a few qualities, but dost thou know the nature of the thing
+itself?"
+
+"Not I, truly," answered the Cartesian.
+
+Upon which the Sirian admitted that he also was ignorant in regard to
+this subject. Then addressing himself to another sage, who stood upon
+his thumb, he asked "what is the soul? and what are her functions?"
+
+"Nothing at all," replied this disciple of Mallebranche; "God hath made
+everything for my convenience. In him I see everything, by him I act; he
+is the universal agent, and I never meddle in his work."
+
+"That is being a nonentity indeed," said the Sirian sage; and then,
+turning to a follower of Leibnitz, he exclaimed: "Hark ye, friend, what
+is thy opinion of the soul?"
+
+"In my opinion," answered this metaphysician, "the soul is the hand that
+points at the hour, while my body does the office of the clock; or, if
+you please, the soul is the clock, and the body is the pointer; or
+again, my soul is the mirror of the universe, and my body the frame. All
+this is clear and uncontrovertible."
+
+A little partisan of Locke who chanced to be present, being asked his
+opinion on the same subject, said: "I do not know by what power I think;
+but well I know that I should never have thought without the assistance
+of my senses. That there are immaterial and intelligent substances I do
+not at all doubt; but that it is impossible for God to communicate the
+faculty of thinking to matter, I doubt very much. I revere the eternal
+power, to which it would ill become me to prescribe bounds. I affirm
+nothing, and am contented to believe that many more things are possible
+than are usually thought so."
+
+The Sirian smiled at this declaration, and did not look upon the author
+as the least sagacious of the company: and as for the dwarf of Saturn,
+he would have embraced this adherent of Locke, had it not been for the
+extreme disproportion in their respective sizes. But unluckily there was
+another animalcule in a square cap, who, taking the word from all his
+philosophical brethren, affirmed that he knew the whole secret, which
+was contained in the abridgment of St. Thomas. He surveyed the two
+celestial strangers from top to toe, and maintained to their faces that
+their persons, their fashions, their suns and their stars, were created
+solely for the use of man. At this wild assertion our two travelers were
+seized with a fit of that uncontrollable laughter, which (according to
+Homer) is the portion of the immortal gods: their bellies quivered,
+their shoulders rose and fell, and, during these convulsions, the vessel
+fell from the Sirian's nail into the Saturnian's pocket, where these
+worthy people searched for it a long time with great diligence. At
+length, having found the ship and set everything to rights again, the
+Sirian resumed the discourse with those diminutive mites, and promised
+to compose for them a choice book of philosophy which would demonstrate
+the very essence of things. Accordingly, before his departure, he made
+them a present of the book, which was brought to the Academy of Sciences
+at Paris, but when the old secretary came to open it he saw nothing but
+blank paper, upon which:--
+
+"Ay, ay," said he, "this is just what I suspected."
+
+
+
+
+THE WORLD AS IT GOES.
+
+THE VISION OF BABOUC.
+
+
+[Illustration: The spiritual rulers of Persepolis.][1]
+
+Among the genii who preside over the empires of the earth, Ithuriel held
+one of the first ranks, and had the department of Upper Asia. He one
+morning descended into the abode of Babouc, the Scythian, who dwelt on
+the banks of the Oxus, and said to him:
+
+"Babouc, the follies and vices of the Persians have drawn upon them our
+indignation. Yesterday an assembly of the genii of Upper Asia was held,
+to consider whether we would chastise Persepolis or destroy it entirely.
+Go to that city; examine everything; return and give me a faithful
+account; and, according to thy report, I will then determine whether to
+correct or extirpate the inhabitants."
+
+"But, my lord," said Babouc with great humility, "I have never been in
+Persia, nor do I know a single person in that country."
+
+"So much the better," said the angel, "thou wilt be the more impartial:
+thou hast received from heaven the spirit of discernment, to which I now
+add the power of inspiring confidence. Go, see, hear, observe, and fear
+nothing. Thou shalt everywhere meet with a favorable reception."
+
+Babouc mounted his camel, and set out with his servants. After having
+traveled some days, he met, near the plains of Senaar, the Persian army,
+which was going to attack the forces of India. He first addressed
+himself to a soldier, whom he found at a distance from the main army,
+and asked him what was the occasion of the war?
+
+"By all the gods," said the soldier, "I know nothing of the matter. It
+is none of my business. My trade is to kill and to be killed, to get a
+livelihood. It is of no consequence to me whom I serve. To-morrow,
+perhaps, I may go over to the Indian camp; for it is said that they give
+their soldiers nearly half a copper drachma a day more than we have in
+this cursed service of Persia. If thou desirest to know why we fight,
+speak to my captain."
+
+Babouc, having given the soldier a small present, entered the camp. He
+soon became acquainted with the captain, and asked him the cause of the
+war.
+
+"How canst thou imagine that I should know it?" said the captain, "or of
+what importance is it to me? I live about two hundred leagues from
+Persepolis: I hear that war is declared. I instantly leave my family,
+and, having nothing else to do, go, according to our custom, to make my
+fortune, or to fall by a glorious death."
+
+"But are not thy companions," said Babouc, "a little better informed
+than thee?"
+
+"No," said the officer, "there are none but our principal satraps that
+know the true cause of our cutting one another's throats."
+
+Babouc, struck with astonishment, introduced himself to the generals,
+and soon became familiarly acquainted with them. At last one of them
+said:
+
+"The cause of this war, which for twenty years past hath desolated Asia,
+sprang originally from a quarrel between a eunuch belonging to one of
+the concubines of the great king of Persia, and the clerk of a factory
+belonging to the great king of India. The dispute was about a claim
+which amounted nearly to the thirtieth part of a daric. Our first
+minister, and the representative of India, maintained the rights of
+their respective masters with becoming dignity. The dispute grew warm.
+Both parties sent into the field an army of a million of soldiers. This
+army must be recruited every year with upwards of four hundred thousand
+men. Massacres, burning of houses, ruin and devastation, are daily
+multiplied; the universe suffers; and their mutual animosity still
+continues. The first ministers of the two nations frequently protest
+that they have nothing in view but the happiness of mankind; and every
+protestation is attended with the destruction of a town, or the
+desolation of a province."
+
+Next day, on a report being spread that peace was going to be concluded,
+the Persian and Indian generals made haste to come to an engagement. The
+battle was long and bloody. Babouc beheld every crime, and every
+abomination. He was witness to the arts and stratagems of the principal
+satraps, who did all that lay in their power to expose their general to
+the disgrace of a defeat. He saw officers killed by their own troops,
+and soldiers stabbing their already expiring comrades in order to strip
+them of a few bloody garments torn and covered with dirt. He entered the
+hospitals to which they were conveying the wounded, most of whom died
+through the inhuman negligence of those who were well paid by the king
+of Persia to assist these unhappy men.
+
+"Are these men," cried Babouc, "or are they wild beasts? Ah! I plainly
+see that Persepolis will be destroyed."
+
+Full of this thought, he went over to the camp of the Indians, where,
+according to the prediction of the genii, he was as well received as in
+that of the Persians; but he saw there the same crimes which had already
+filled him with horror.
+
+"Oh!" said he to himself, "if the angel Ithuriel should exterminate the
+Persians, the angel of India must certainly destroy the Indians."
+
+But being afterward more particularly informed of all that passed in
+both armies, he heard of such acts of generosity, humanity, and
+greatness of soul, as at once surprised and charmed him:
+
+"Unaccountable mortals! as ye are," cried he, "how can you thus unite so
+much baseness and so much grandeur, so many virtues and so many vices?"
+
+Meanwhile the peace was proclaimed; and the generals of the two armies,
+neither of whom had gained a complete victory, but who, for their own
+private interest, had shed the blood of so many of their
+fellow-creatures, went to solicit their courts for rewards. The peace
+was celebrated in public writings which announced the return of virtue
+and happiness to the earth.
+
+"God be praised," said Babouc, "Persepolis will now be the abode of
+spotless innocence, and will not be destroyed, as the cruel genii
+intended. Let us haste without delay to the capital of Asia."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He entered that immense city by the ancient gate, which was entirely
+barbarous, and offended the eye by its disagreeable rusticity. All that
+part of the town savored of the time when it was built; for,
+notwithstanding the obstinacy of men in praising ancient at the expense
+of modern times, it must be owned that the first essays in every art are
+rude and unfinished.
+
+Babouc mingled in a crowd of people composed of the most ignorant, dirty
+and deformed of both sexes, who were thronging with a stupid air into a
+large and gloomy inclosure. By the constant hum; by the gestures of the
+people; by the money which some persons gave to others for the liberty
+of sitting down, he imagined that he was in a market, where chairs were
+sold: but observing several women fall down on their knees with an
+appearance of looking directly before them, while in reality they were
+leering at the men by their sides, he was soon convinced that he was in
+a temple. Shrill, hoarse, savage and discordant voices made the vault
+re-echo with ill articulated sounds, that produced the same effect as
+the braying of asses, when, in the plains of Pictavia, they answer the
+cornet that calls them together. He stopped his ears; but he was ready
+to shut his mouth and hold his nose, when he saw several laborers enter
+into the temple with picks and spades, who removed a large stone, and
+threw up the earth on both sides, from whence exhaled a pestilential
+vapor. At last some others approached, deposited a dead body in the
+opening, and replaced the stone upon it.
+
+"What!" cried Babouc, "do these people bury their dead in the place
+where they adore the deity? What! are their temples paved with
+carcasses? I am no longer surprised at those pestilential diseases
+that frequently depopulate Persepolis. The putrefaction of the dead, and
+the infected breath of such numbers of the living, assembled and crowded
+together in the same place, are sufficient to poison the whole
+terrestial globe. Oh! what an abominable city is Persepolis! The angels
+probably intend to destroy it in order to build a more beautiful one in
+its place, and to people it with inhabitants who are more virtuous and
+better singers. Providence may have its reasons for so doing; to its
+disposal let us leave all future events."
+
+[Illustration: Burying the dead in churches.--"What!" cried Babouc, "do
+these people bury their dead in the place where they adore the deity?
+What! are their temples paved with carcasses?"]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Meanwhile the sun approached his meridian height. Babouc was to dine at
+the other end of the city with a lady for whom her husband, an officer
+in the army, had given him some letters: but he first took several turns
+in Persepolis, where he saw other temples, better built and more richly
+adorned, filled with a polite audience, and resounding with harmonious
+music. He beheld public fountains, which, though ill-placed, struck the
+eye by their beauty; squares where the best kings that had governed
+Persia seemed to breathe in bronze, and others where he heard the people
+crying out:
+
+"When shall we see our beloved master?"
+
+He admired the magnificent bridges built over the river; the superb and
+commodious quays; the palaces raised on both sides; and an immense
+house, where thousands of old soldiers, covered with scars and crowned
+with victory, offered their daily praises to the god of armies. At last
+he entered the house of the lady, who, with a set of fashionable people,
+waited his company to dinner. The house was neat and elegant; the repast
+delicious; the lady young, beautiful, witty, and engaging; and the
+company worthy of her; and Babouc every moment said to himself:
+
+"The angel Ithuriel has little regard for the world, or he would never
+think of destroying such a charming city."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+In the meantime he observed that the lady, who had begun by tenderly
+asking news about her husband, spoke more tenderly to a young magi,
+toward the conclusion of the repast. He saw a magistrate, who, in
+presence of his wife, paid his court with great vivacity to a widow,
+while the indulgent widow held out her hand to a young citizen,
+remarkable for his modesty and graceful appearance.
+
+Babouc then began to fear that the genius Ithuriel had but too much
+reason for destroying Persepolis. The talent he possessed of gaining
+confidence let him that same day into all the secrets of the lady. She
+confessed to him her affection for the young magi, and assured him that
+in all the houses in Persepolis he would meet with similar examples of
+attachment. Babouc concluded that such a society could not possibly
+survive: that jealousy, discord, and vengeance must desolate every
+house; that tears and blood must be daily shed; and, _in fine_, that
+Ithuriel would do well to destroy immediately a city abandoned to
+continual disasters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Such were the gloomy ideas that possessed his mind, when a grave man in
+a black gown appeared at the gate and humbly begged to speak to the
+young magistrate. Phis stripling, without rising or taking the least
+notice of the old gentleman, gave him some papers with a haughty and
+careless air, and then dismissed him. Babouc asked who this man was. The
+mistress of the house said to him in a low voice:
+
+"He is one of the best advocates in the city, and hath studied the law
+these fifty years. The other, who is but twenty-five years of age, and
+has only been a satrap of the law for two days, hath ordered him to make
+an extract of a process he is going to determine, though he has not as
+yet examined it."
+
+"This giddy youth acts wisely," said Babouc, "in asking counsel of an
+old man. But why is not the old man himself the judge?"
+
+"Thou art surely in jest," said they; "those who have grown old in
+laborious and inferior posts are never raised to places of dignity. This
+young man has a great post, because his father is rich; and the right of
+dispensing justice is purchased here like a farm."
+
+"O unhappy city!" cried Babouc, "this is surely the height of anarchy
+and confusion. Those who have thus purchased the right of judging will
+doubtless sell their judgments; nothing do I see here but an abyss of
+iniquity!"
+
+While he was thus expressing his grief and surprise, a young warrior,
+who that very day had returned from the army, said to him:
+
+"Why wouldst thou not have seats in the courts of justice offered for
+sale? I myself purchased the right of braving death at the head of two
+thousand men who are under my command. It has this year cost me forty
+daracs of gold to lie on the earth thirty nights successively in a red
+dress, and at last to receive two wounds with an arrow, of which I still
+feel the smart. If I ruin myself to serve the emperor of Persia, whom I
+never saw, the satrap of the law may well pay something for enjoying the
+pleasure of giving audience to pleaders."
+
+Babouc was filled with indignation, and could not help condemning a
+country, where the highest posts in the army and the law were exposed
+for sale. He at once concluded that the inhabitants must be entirely
+ignorant of the art of war, and the laws of equity; and that, though
+Ithuriel should not destroy them, they must soon be ruined by their
+detestable administration.
+
+He was still further confirmed in his bad opinion by the arrival of a
+fat man, who, after saluting all the company with great familiarity,
+went up to the young officer and said:
+
+"I can only lend thee fifty thousand darics of gold; for indeed the
+taxes of the empire have this year brought me in but three hundred
+thousand."
+
+Babouc inquired into the character of this man who complained of having
+gained so little, and was informed that in Persepolis there were forty
+plebian kings who held the empire of Persia by lease, and paid a small
+tribute to the monarch.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+After dinner he went into one of the most superb temples in the city,
+and seated himself amidst a crowd of men and women, who had come thither
+to pass away the time. A magi appeared in a machine elevated above the
+heads of the people, and talked a long time of vice and virtue. He
+divided into several parts what needed no division at all: he proved
+methodically what was sufficiently clear, and he taught what everybody
+knew. He threw himself into a passion with great composure, and went
+away perspiring and out of breath. The assembly then awoke and imagined
+they had been present at a very instructive discourse. Babouc said:
+
+"This man had done his best to tire two or three hundred of his
+fellow-citizens; but his intention was good, and there is nothing in
+this that should occasion the destruction of Persepolis."
+
+Upon leaving the assembly he was conducted to a public entertainment,
+which was exhibited every day in the year. It was in a kind of great
+hall, at the end of which appeared a palace. The most beautiful women of
+Persepolis and the most considerable satraps were ranged in order, and
+formed so fine a spectacle that Babouc at first believed that this was
+all the entertainment. Two or three persons, who seemed to be kings and
+queens, soon appeared in the vestibule of their palace. Their language
+was very different from that of the people; it was measured, harmonious,
+and sublime. Nobody slept. The audience kept a profound silence which
+was only interrupted by expressions of sensibility and admiration. The
+duty of kings, the love of virtue, and the dangers arising from
+unbridled passions, were all described by such lively and affecting
+strokes, that Babouc shed tears. He doubted not but that these heroes
+and heroines, these kings and queens whom he had just heard, were the
+preachers of the empire; he even purposed to engage Ithuriel to come and
+hear them, being content that such a spectacle would forever reconcile
+him to the city.
+
+As soon as the entertainment was finished, he resolved to visit the
+principal queen, who had recommended such pure and noble morals in the
+palace. He desired to be introduced to her majesty, and was led up a
+narrow staircase to an ill-furnished apartment in the second story,
+where he found a woman in a mean dress, who said to him with a noble and
+pathetic air:
+
+"This employment does not afford me a sufficient maintenance. I want
+money, and without money there is no comfort."
+
+Babouc gave her an hundred darics of gold, saying:
+
+"Had there been no other evil in the city but this, Ithuriel would have
+been to blame for being so much offended."
+
+From thence he went to spend the evening at the house of a tradesman
+who dealt in magnificent trifles. He was conducted thither by a man of
+sense, with whom he had contracted an acquaintance. He bought whatever
+pleased his fancy; and the toy man with great politeness sold him
+everything for more than it was worth. On his return home his friends
+showed him how much he had been cheated. Babouc set down the name of the
+tradesman in his pocket-book, in order to point him out to Ithuriel as
+an object of peculiar vengeance on the day when the city should be
+punished. As he was writing, he heard somebody knock at the door: this
+was the toy man himself, who came to restore him his purse, which he had
+left by mistake on the counter.
+
+"How canst thou," cried Babouc, "be so generous and faithful, when thou
+hast had the assurance to sell me these trifles for four times their
+value?"
+
+"There is not a tradesman," replied the merchant, "of ever so little
+note in the city, that would not have returned thee thy purse; but
+whoever said that I sold thee these trifles for four times their value
+is greatly mistaken: I sold them for ten times their value; and this is
+so true, that wert thou to sell them again in a month hence, thou
+wouldst not get even this tenth part. But nothing is more just. It is
+the variable fancies of men that set a value on these baubles; it is
+this fancy that maintains an hundred workmen whom I employ; it is this
+that gives me a fine house and a handsome chariot and horses; it is
+this, in fine, that excites industry, encourages taste, promotes
+circulation, and produces abundance.
+
+"I sell the same trifles to the neighboring nation at a much higher rate
+than I have sold them to thee, and by these means I am useful to the
+empire."
+
+Babouc, after having reflected a moment, erased the tradesman's name
+from his tablets.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Babouc, not knowing as yet what to think of Persepolis, resolved to
+visit the magi and the men of letters; for, as the one studied wisdom
+and the other religion, he hoped that they in conjunction would obtain
+mercy for the rest of the people. Accordingly, he went next morning into
+a college of magi. The archimandrite confessed to him, that he had an
+hundred thousand crowns a year for having taken the vow of poverty, and
+that he enjoyed a very extensive empire in virtue of his vow of
+humility; after which he left him with an inferior brother, who did him
+the honors of the place.
+
+While the brother was showing him the magnificence of this house of
+penitence, a report was spread abroad that Babouc was come to reform all
+these houses. He immediately received petitions from each of them, the
+substance of which was, "Preserve us and destroy all the rest." On
+hearing their apologies, all these societies were absolutely necessary:
+on hearing their mutual accusations, they all deserved to be abolished.
+He was surprised to find that all the members of these societies were so
+extremely desirous of edifying the world, that they wished to have it
+entirely under their dominion.
+
+Soon after a little man appeared, who was a demi-magi, and who said to
+him:
+
+"I plainly see that the work is going to be accomplished: for Zerdust is
+returned to earth; and the little girls prophecy, pinching and whipping
+themselves. We therefore implore thy protection against the great lama."
+
+"What!" said Babouc, "against the royal pontiff, who resides at Tibet?"
+
+"Yes, against him, himself."
+
+"What! you are then making war upon him, and raising armies!"
+
+"No, but he says that man is a free agent, and we deny it. We have
+written several pamphlets against him, which he never read. Hardly has
+he heard our name mentioned. He has only condemned us in the same manner
+as a man orders the trees in his garden to be cleared from
+caterpillars."
+
+Babouc was incensed at the folly of these men who made profession of
+wisdom; and at the intrigues of those who had renounced the world; and
+at the ambition, pride and avarice of such as taught humility and a
+disinterested spirit: from all which he concluded that Ithuriel had good
+reason to destroy the whole race.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+On his return home, he sent for some new books to alleviate his grief,
+and in order to exhilarate his spirits, invited some men of letters to
+dine with him; when, like wasps attracted by a pot of honey, there came
+twice as many as he desired. These parasites were equally eager to eat
+and to speak; they praised two sorts of persons, the dead and
+themselves; but none of their contemporaries, except the master of the
+house. If any of them happened to drop a smart and witty expression, the
+rest cast down their eyes and bit their lips out of mere vexation that
+it had not been said by themselves. They had less dissimulation than the
+magi, because they had not such grand objects of ambition. Each of them
+behaved at once with all the meanness of a valet and all the dignity of
+a great man. They said to each other's face the most insulting things,
+which they took for strokes of wit. They had some knowledge of the
+design of Babouc's commission; one of them entreated him in a low voice
+to extirpate an author who had not praised him sufficiently about five
+years before; another requested the ruin of a citizen who had never
+laughed at his comedies; and the third demanded the destruction of the
+academy because he had not been able to get admitted into it. The repast
+being ended, each of them departed by himself; for in the whole crowd
+there were not two men that could endure the company or conversation of
+each other, except at the houses of the rich, who invited them to their
+tables. Babouc thought that it would be no great loss to the public if
+all these vermin were destroyed in the general catastrophe.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Having now got rid of these men of letters, he began to read some new
+books, where he discovered the true spirit by which his guests had been
+actuated. He observed with particular indignation those slanderous
+gazettes, those archives of bad taste, dictated by envy, baseness, and
+hunger; those ungenerous satires, where the vulture is treated with
+lenity, and the dove torn in pieces; and those dry and insipid romances,
+filled with characters of women to whom the author was an utter
+stranger.
+
+All these detestable writings he committed to the flames, and went to
+pass the evening in walking. In this excursion he was introduced to an
+old man possessed of great learning, who had not come to increase the
+number of his parasites. This man of letters always fled from crowds;
+he understood human nature, availed himself of his knowledge, and
+imparted it to others with great discretion. Babouc told him how much he
+was grieved at what he had seen and read.
+
+"Thou hast read very despicable performances," said the man of letters;
+"but in all times, in all countries, and in all kinds of literature, the
+bad swarm and the good are rare. Thou hast received into thy house the
+very dregs of pedantry. In all professions, those who are least worthy
+of appearing are always sure to present themselves with the greatest
+impudence. The truly wise live among themselves in retirement and
+tranquillity; and we have still some men and some books worthy of thy
+attention."
+
+While he was thus speaking, they were joined by another man of letters;
+and the conversation became so entertaining and instructive, so elevated
+above vulgar prejudices, and so conformable to virtue, that Babouc
+acknowledged he had never heard the like.
+
+"These are men," said he to himself, "whom the angel Ithuriel will not
+presume to touch, or he must be a merciless being indeed."
+
+Though reconciled to men of letters, he was still enraged against the
+rest of the nation.
+
+"Thou art a stranger," said the judicious person who was talking to him;
+"abuses present themselves to thy eyes in crowds, while the good, which
+lies concealed, and which is even sometimes the result of these very
+abuses, escapes thy observation."
+
+He then learned that among men of letters there were some who were free
+from envy; and that even among the magi themselves there were some men
+of virtue. In fine, he concluded that these great bodies, which by their
+mutual shocks seemed to threaten their common ruin, were at bottom very
+salutary institutions; that each society of magi was a check upon its
+rivals; and that though these rivals might differ in some speculative
+points, they all taught the same morals, instructed the people, and
+lived in subjection to the laws; not unlike to those preceptors who
+watch over the heir of a family while the master of the house watches
+over them. He conversed with several of these magi, and found them
+possessed of exalted souls. He likewise learned that even among the
+fools who pretended to make war on the great lama there had been some
+men of distinguished merit; and from all these particulars he
+conjectured that it might be with the manners of Persepolis as it was
+with the buildings; some of which moved his pity, while others filled
+him with admiration.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+He said to the man of letters:
+
+"I plainly see that these magi, whom I at first imagined to be so
+dangerous, are in reality extremely useful; especially when a wise
+government hinders them from rendering themselves too necessary; but
+thou wilt at least acknowledge that your young magistrates, who purchase
+the office of a judge as soon as they can mount a horse, must display in
+their tribunals the most ridiculous impertinence and the most iniquitous
+perverseness. It would doubtless be better to give these places
+gratuitously to those old civilians who have spent their lives in the
+study of the law."
+
+The man of letters replied:
+
+"Thou hast seen our army before thy arrival at Persepolis; thou knowest
+that our young officers fight with great bravery, though they buy their
+posts; perhaps thou wilt find that our young magistrates do not give
+wrong decisions, though they purchase the right of dispensing justice."
+
+He led him next day to the grand tribunal, where an affair of great
+importance was to be decided. The cause was known to all the world. All
+the old advocates that spoke on the subject were wavering and unsettled
+in their opinions. They quoted an hundred laws, none of which were
+applicable to the question. They considered the matter in a hundred
+different lights, but never in its true point of view. The judges were
+more quick in their decisions than the advocates in raising doubts. They
+were unanimous in their sentiments. They decided justly, because they
+followed the light of reason. The others reasoned falsely because they
+only consulted their books.
+
+Babouc concluded that the best things frequently arose from abuses. He
+saw the same day that the riches of the receivers of the public revenue,
+at which he had been so much offended, were capable of producing an
+excellent effect; for the emperor having occasion for money, he found in
+an hour by their means what he could not have procured in six months by
+the ordinary methods. He saw that those great clouds, swelled with the
+dews of the earth, restored in plentiful showers what they had thence
+derived. Besides, the children of these new gentlemen, who were
+frequently better educated than those of the most ancient families, were
+sometimes more useful members of society; for he whose father hath been
+a good accountant may easily become a good judge, a brave warrior, and
+an able statesman.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Babouc was insensibly brought to excuse the avarice of the farmer of the
+revenues, who in reality was not more avaricious than other men, and
+besides was extremely necessary. He overlooked the folly of those who
+ruined themselves in order to obtain a post in the law or army; a folly
+that produces great magistrates and heroes. He forgave the envy of men
+of letters, among whom there were some that enlightened the world; and
+he was reconciled to the ambitious and intriguing magi, who were
+possessed of more great virtues than little vices. But he had still many
+causes of complaint. The gallantries of the ladies especially, and the
+fatal effects which these must necessarily produce, filled him with fear
+and terror.
+
+As he was desirous of prying into the characters of men of every
+condition, he went to wait on a minister of state; but trembled all the
+way, lest some wife should be assassinated by her husband in his
+presence. Having arrived at the statesman's, he was obliged to remain
+two hours in the anti-chamber before his name was sent in, and two hours
+more after that was done. In this interval, he resolved to recommend to
+the angel Ithuriel both the minister and his insolent porters. The
+anti-chamber was filled with ladies of every rank, magi of all colors,
+judges, merchants, officers, and pedants, and all of them complained of
+the minister. The miser and the usurer said:
+
+"Doubtless this man plunders the provinces."
+
+The capricious reproached him with fickleness; the voluptuary said:
+
+"He thinks of nothing but his pleasure."
+
+The factious hoped to see him soon ruined by a cabal; and the women
+flattered themselves that they should soon have a younger minister.
+
+Babouc heard their conversation, and could not help saying:
+
+"This is surely a happy man; he hath all his enemies in his
+anti-chamber; he crushes with his power those that envy his grandeur; he
+beholds those who detest him groveling at his feet."
+
+At length he was admitted into the presence-chamber, where he saw a
+little old man bending under the weight of years and business, but still
+lively and full of spirits.
+
+The minister was pleased with Babouc, and to Babouc he appeared a man of
+great merit. The conversation became interesting. The minister confessed
+that he was very unhappy; that he passed for rich, while in reality he
+was poor; that he was believed to be all-powerful, and yet was
+constantly contradicted; that he had obliged none but a parcel of
+ungrateful wretches; and that, in the course of forty years labor, he
+had hardly enjoyed a moment's rest. Babouc was moved with his
+misfortunes; and thought that if this man had been guilty of some
+faults, and Ithuriel had a mind to banish him, he ought not to cut him
+off, but to leave him in possession of his place.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+While Babouc was talking to the minister, the beautiful lady with whom
+he had dined entered hastily, her eyes and countenance showing all the
+symptoms of grief and indignation. She burst into reproaches against the
+statesman; she shed tears; she complained bitterly that her husband had
+been refused a place to which his birth allowed him to aspire, and which
+he had fully merited by his wounds and his service. She expressed
+herself with such force; she uttered her complaints with such a graceful
+air; she overthrew objections with so much address, and enforced her
+arguments with so much eloquence, that she did not leave the chamber
+till she had made her husband's fortune.
+
+Babouc gave her his hand, and said: "Is it possible, madam, that thou
+canst take so much pains to serve a man whom thou dost not love, and
+from whom thou hast everything to fear?"
+
+"A man whom I do not love!" cried she "know, sir, that my husband is the
+best friend I have in the world; and there is nothing I would not
+sacrifice for him, except my own inclinations."
+
+The lady conducted Babouc to her own house. The husband, who had at last
+arrived overwhelmed with grief, received his wife with transports of joy
+and gratitude. He embraced by turns his wife, the little magi, and
+Babouc. Wit, harmony, cheerfulness, and all the graces, embellished the
+repast.
+
+Babouc, though a Scythian, and sent by a geni, found, that should he
+continue much longer in Persepolis, he would forget even the angel
+Ithuriel. He began to grow fond of a city, the inhabitants of which were
+polite, affable, and beneficent, though fickle, slanderous, and vain. He
+was much afraid that Persepolis would be condemned. He was even afraid
+to give in his account.
+
+This, however, he did in the following manner. He caused a little
+statue, composed of different metals, of earth, and stones, the most
+precious and the most vile, to be cast by one of the best founders in
+the city, and carried it to Ithuriel.
+
+"Wilt thou break," said he, "this pretty statue, because it is not
+wholly composed of gold and diamonds?"
+
+Ithuriel immediately understood his meaning, and resolved to think no
+more of punishing Persepolis, but to leave "The world as it goes."
+
+"For," said he, "if all is not well, all is passable."
+
+Thus Persepolis was suffered to remain; nor did Babouc complain like
+Jonas, who, [according to the scriptures,] was highly incensed at the
+preservation of Nineveh.
+
+
+[1] When Babouc visited the college of the magi, "the archimandrite [the
+chief of the monks] confessed to him, that he had an hundred thousand
+crowns a year for having taken the vow of poverty, and that he enjoyed a
+very extensive empire in virtue of his vow of humility." (See page
+365.)--E.
+
+[Illustration: The scales of justice.]
+
+
+
+
+THE BLACK AND THE WHITE.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Procession of Souls to Judgment with Good and Evil
+Genii. From Frieze in the Grotto del Cardinale.]
+
+
+The adventure of the youthful Rustan is generally known throughout the
+whole province of Candahar. He was the only son of a Mirza of that
+country. The title of Mirza there is much the same as that of Marquis
+among us, or that of Baron among the Germans. The mirza, his father, had
+a handsome fortune. Young Rustan was to be married to a mirzasse, or
+young lady of his own rank. The two families earnestly desired their
+union. Rustan was to become the comfort of his parents, to make his wife
+happy, and to live blest in her possession.
+
+But he had unfortunately seen the princess of Cachemire at the fair of
+Kaboul, which is the most considerable fair in the world, and much more
+frequented than those of Bassora and Astracan. The occasion that brought
+the old prince of Cachemire to the fair with his daughter was as
+follows:
+
+He had lost the two most precious curiosities of his treasury; one of
+them was a diamond as thick as a man's thumb, upon which the figure of
+his daughter was engraved by an art which was then possessed by the
+Indians, and has since been lost; the other was a javelin, which went of
+itself wherever its owner thought proper to send it. This is nothing
+very extraordinary among us, but it was thought so at Cachemire.
+
+A fakir belonging to his highness stole these two curiosities; he
+carried them to the princess:
+
+"Keep these two curiosities with the utmost care; your destiny depends
+upon them;" said he, and then departed.
+
+The Duke of Cachemire, in despair, resolved to visit the fair of Kaboul,
+in order to see whether there might not, among the merchants who go
+thither from all quarters of the world, be some one possessed of his
+diamond and his weapon. The princess carried his diamond well fastened
+to her girdle; but the javelin, which she could not so easily hide, she
+had carefully locked up at Cachemire, in a large chest.
+
+Rustan and she saw each other at Kaboul. They loved one another with all
+the sincerity of persons of their age, and all the tenderness of
+affection natural to those of their country. The princess gave Rustan
+her diamond as a pledge of her love, and he promised at his departure to
+go incognito to Cachemire, in order to pay her a visit.
+
+The young mirza had two favorites, who served him as secretaries,
+grooms, stewards, and valets de chambre. The name of one was Topaz; he
+was handsome, well-shaped, fair as a Circassian beauty, as mild and
+ready to serve as an Armenian, and as wise as a Gueber. The name of the
+other was Ebene; he was a very beautiful negro, more active and
+industrious than Topaz, and one that thought nothing difficult. The
+young mirza communicated his intention of traveling to these. Topaz
+endeavored to dissuade him from it, with the circumspect zeal of a
+servant who was unwilling to offend him. He represented to him the great
+danger to which he exposed himself. He asked him how he could leave two
+families in despair? how he could pierce the hearts of his parents? He
+shook the resolution of Rustan; but Ebene confirmed it anew, and
+obviated all his objections.
+
+The young man was not furnished with money to defray the charge of so
+long a voyage. The prudent Topaz would not have lent him any; Ebene
+supplied him. He with great address stole his master's diamond, made a
+false one exactly like it which he put in its place, and pledged the
+true one to an Armenian for several thousand rupees.
+
+As soon as the marquis possessed these rupees, all things were in
+readiness for his departure. An elephant was loaded with his baggage.
+His attendants mounted on horseback.
+
+Topaz said to his master: "I have taken the liberty to expostulate with
+you upon your enterprise, but after expostulating it is my duty to obey.
+I am devoted to you, I love you, I will follow you to the extremity of
+the earth; but let us by the way consult the oracle that is but two
+parasongs distant from here."
+
+Rustan consented. The answer returned by the oracle, was:
+
+"If you go to the east you will be at the west."
+
+Rustan could not guess the meaning of this answer. Topaz maintained that
+it boded no good. Ebene, always complaisant to his master, persuaded him
+that it was highly favorable.
+
+There was another oracle at Kaboul; they went to it. The oracle of
+Kaboul made answer in these words:
+
+"If you possess, you will cease to possess; if you are conqueror, you
+will not conquer, if you are Rustan, you will cease to be so."
+
+This oracle seemed still more unintelligible than the former.
+
+"Take care of yourself," said Topaz.
+
+"Fear nothing," said Ebene; and this minister, as may well be imagined,
+was always thought in the right by his master, whose passions and hopes
+he encouraged. Having left Kaboul, they passed through a vast forest.
+They seated themselves upon the grass in order to take a repast, and
+left their horses grazing. The attendants were preparing to unload the
+elephant which carried the dinner, the table, cloth, plates, &c., when,
+all on a sudden, Topaz and Ebene were perceived by the little caravan to
+be missing. They were called, the forest resounded with the names of
+Topaz and Ebene; the lackeys seek them on every side, and fill the
+forest with their cries; they return without having seen anything, and
+without having received any answer.
+
+"We have," said they to Rustan, "found nothing but a vulture that fought
+with an eagle, and stripped it of all its feathers."
+
+The mention of this combat excited the curiosity of Rustan; he went on
+foot to the place; he perceived neither vulture nor eagle; but he saw
+his elephant, which was still loaded with baggage, attacked by a huge
+rhinoceros: one struck with its horn, the other with its proboscis. The
+rhinoceros desisted upon seeing Rustan; his elephant was brought back,
+but his horses were not to be found.
+
+"Strange things happen in forests to travelers," cried Rustan.
+
+The servants were in great consternation, and the master in despair from
+having at once lost his horse, his dear negro, and the wise Topaz, for
+whom he still entertained a friendship, though always differing from him
+in opinion.
+
+The hope of being soon at the feet of the beautiful princess still
+consoled the mirza, who, journeying on, now met with a huge streaked
+ass, which a vigorous two-handed country clown beat with an oaken
+cudgel. The asses of this sort are extremely beautiful, very scarce, and
+beyond comparison swift in running. The ass resented the repeated blows
+of the clown by kicks which might have rooted up an oak. The young
+mirza, as was reasonable, took upon him the defence of the ass, which
+was a charming creature, the clown betook himself to flight, crying to
+the ass, "You shall pay for this."
+
+The ass thanked her deliverer in her own language, and approaching him,
+permitted his caresses and caressed him in her turn. After dinner,
+Rustan mounted her, and took the road to Cachemire with his servants,
+who followed him, some on foot and some upon the elephant. Scarce had he
+mounted his ass, when that animal turned toward Kaboul, instead of
+proceeding to Cachemire. It was to no purpose for her master to turn the
+bridle, to kick, to press the sides of the beast with his knees, to
+spur, to slacken the bridle, to pull toward him, to whip both on the
+right and the left. The obstinate animal persisted in running toward
+Kaboul.
+
+Rustan in despair fretted and raved, when he met with a dealer in
+camels, who said to him:
+
+"Master, you have there a very malicious beast, that carries you where
+you do not choose to go. If you will give it to me, I will give you the
+choice of four of my camels."
+
+Rustan thanked providence for having thrown so good a bargain in the
+way.
+
+"Topaz was very much in the wrong," said he, "to tell me that my journey
+would prove unprosperous."
+
+He mounts the handsome camel, the others follow; he rejoins his caravan
+and fancies himself on the road to happiness.
+
+Scarce had he journeyed four parasongs, when he was stopped by a deep,
+broad, and impetuous torrent, which rolled over huge rocks white with
+foam. The two banks were frightful precipices which dazzled the sight
+and made the blood run cold. To pass was impracticable; to go to the
+right or to the left was impossible.
+
+"I am beginning to be afraid," said Rustan, "that Topaz was in the right
+in blaming my journey, and that I was in the wrong in undertaking it. If
+he were still here he might give me good advice. If I had Ebene with me,
+he would comfort me and find expedients; but everything fails me."
+
+This perplexity was increased by the consternation of his attendants.
+The night was dark, and they passed it in lamentations. At last fatigue
+and dejection made the amorous traveler fall asleep. He awoke at
+day-break, and saw, spanning the torrent, a beautiful marble bridge
+which reached from shore to shore.
+
+Nothing was heard but exclamations, cries of astonishment and joy. Is it
+possible? Is this a dream? What a prodigy is this! What an enchantment!
+Shall we venture to pass? The whole company kneeled, rose up, went to
+the bridge, kissed the ground, looked up to heaven, stretched out their
+hands, set their feet on it with trembling, went to and fro, fell into
+ecstasies; and Rustan said:
+
+"At last heaven favors me. Topaz did not know what he was saying. The
+oracles were favorable to me. Ebene was in the right, but why is he not
+here?"
+
+Scarce had the company got beyond the torrent, when the bridge sunk into
+the water with a prodigious noise.
+
+"So much the better, so much the better," cried Rustan. "Praised be God,
+blessed be heaven; it would not have me return to my country, where I
+should be nothing more than a gentleman. The intention of heaven is,
+that I should wed her I love. I shall become prince of Cachemire; thus
+in possessing my mistress I shall cease to possess my little marquisate
+at Candahar. 'I shall be Rustan, and I shall not be Rustan,' because I
+shall have become a great prince: thus is a great part of the oracle
+clearly explained in my favor. The rest will be explained in the same
+manner. I am very happy. But why is not Ebene with me? I regret him a
+thousand times more than Topaz."
+
+He proceeded a few parasongs farther with the greatest alacrity
+imaginable; but, at the close of day, a chain of mountains more rugged
+than a counterscarp, and higher than the tower of Babel would have been
+had it been finished, stopped the passage of the caravan, which was
+again seized with dread.
+
+All the company cried out: "It is the will of God that we perish here!
+he broke the bridge merely to take from us all hopes of returning; he
+raised the mountain for no other reason than to deprive us of all means
+of advancing. Oh, Rustan! oh, unhappy marquis! we shall never see
+Cachemire; we shall never return to the land of Candahar."
+
+The most poignant anguish, the most insupportable dejection, succeeded
+in the soul of Rustan, to the immoderate joy which he had felt, to the
+hopes with which he had intoxicated himself. He was no longer disposed
+to interpret the prophecies in his favor.
+
+"Oh, heavens! oh, God of my fathers!" said he, "must I then lose my
+friend Topaz!"
+
+As he pronounced these words, fetching deep sighs and shedding tears in
+the midst of his disconsolate followers, the base of the mountain
+opened, a long gallery appeared to the dazzled eyes in a vault lighted
+with a hundred thousand torches. Rustan immediately begins to exult, and
+his people to throw themselves upon their knees and to fall upon their
+backs in astonishment, and cry out, "A miracle! a miracle! Rustan is the
+favorite of Witsnow, the well-beloved of Brahma. He will become the
+master of mankind."
+
+Rustan believed it; he was quite beside himself; he was raised above
+himself.
+
+"Alas, Ebene," said he, "my dear Ebene, where are you? Why are you not
+witness of all these wonders? How did I lose you? Beauteous princess of
+Cachemire, when shall I again behold your charms!"
+
+He advances with his attendants, his elephants, and his camels, under
+the hollow of the mountain; at the end of which he enters into a meadow
+enameled with flowers and encompassed with rivulets. At the extremity of
+the meadows are walks of trees to the end of which the eye cannot reach,
+and at the end of these alleys is a river, on the sides of which are a
+thousand pleasure houses with delicious gardens. He everywhere hears
+concerts of vocal and instrumental music; he sees dances; he makes haste
+to go upon one of the bridges of the river; he asks the first man he
+meets what fine country that is?
+
+He whom he addressed himself to answered:
+
+"You are in the province of Cachemire; you see the inhabitants immersed
+in joy and pleasure. We celebrate the marriage of our beauteous
+princess, who is going to be married to the lord Barbabou, to whom her
+father promised her. May God perpetuate their felicity!"
+
+At these words Rustan fainted away, and the Cachemirian lord thought he
+was troubled with the falling sickness. He caused him to be carried to
+his house, where he remained a long time insensible. He sent in search
+of the two most able physicians in that part of the country. They felt
+the patient's pulse, who having somewhat recovered his spirits, sobbed,
+rolled his eyes, and cried from time to time, "Topaz, Topaz, you were
+entirely in the right!"
+
+One of the two physicians said to the Cachemirian lord:
+
+"I perceive, by this young man's accent, that he is from Candahar, and
+that the air of this country is hurtful to him. He must be sent home. I
+perceive by his eyes that he has lost his senses. Entrust me with him, I
+will carry him back to his own country, and cure him."
+
+The other physician maintained that grief was his only disorder; and
+that it was proper to carry him to the wedding of the princess, and make
+him dance. Whilst they were in consultation, the patient recovered his
+health. The two physicians were dismissed, and Rustan remained along
+with his host.
+
+"My lord," said he, "I ask your pardon for having been so free as to
+faint in your presence. I know it to be a breach of politeness. I
+entreat you to accept of my elephant, as an acknowledgment of the
+kindness you have shown me."
+
+He then related to him all his adventure, taking particular care to
+conceal from him the occasion of his journey.
+
+"But, in the name of Witsnow and Brahma," said he to him, "tell me who
+is this happy Barbabou, who is to marry the princess of Cachemire? Why
+has her father chosen him for his son-in-law, and why has the princess
+accepted of him for an husband?"
+
+"Sir," answered the Cachemirian, "the princess has by no means accepted
+of Barbabou. She is, on the contrary, in tears, whilst the whole
+province joyfully celebrates her marriage. She has shut herself up in a
+tower of her palace. She does not choose to see any of the rejoicings
+made upon the occasion."
+
+Rustan, at hearing this, perceived himself revived. The bloom of his
+complexion, which grief had caused to fade, appeared again upon his
+countenance.
+
+"Tell me, I entreat you," continued he, "why the prince of Cachemire is
+obstinately bent upon giving his daughter to lord Barbabou whom she does
+not love?"
+
+"This is the fact," answered the Cachemirian. "Do you know that our
+august prince lost a large diamond and a javelin which he considered as
+of great value?"
+
+"Ah! I very well know that," said Rustan.
+
+"Know then," said his host, "that our prince, being in despair at not
+having heard of his two precious curiosities, after having caused them
+to be sought for all over the world, promised his daughter to whoever
+should bring him either the one or the other. A lord Barbabou came who
+had the diamond, and he is to marry the princess to-morrow."
+
+Rustan turned pale, stammered out a compliment, took leave of his host,
+and galloped upon his dromedary to the capital city, where the ceremony
+was to be performed. He arrives at the palace of the prince, he tells
+him he has something of importance to communicate to him, he demands an
+audience. He is told that the prince is taken up with the preparations
+for the wedding.
+
+"It is for that very reason," said he, "that I am desirous of speaking
+to him." Such is his importunity, that he is at last admitted.
+
+"Prince," said he, "may God crown all your days with glory and
+magnificence! Your son-in-law is a knave."
+
+"What! a knave! how dare you speak in such terms? Is that a proper way
+of speaking to a duke of Cachemire of a son-in-law of whom he has made
+choice?"
+
+"Yes, he is a knave," continued Rustan; "and to prove it to your
+highness, I have brought you back your diamond."
+
+The duke, surprised at what he heard, compared the two diamonds; and as
+he was no judge of precious stones, he could not determine which was the
+true one.
+
+"Here are two diamonds," said he, "and I have but one daughter, I am in
+a strange perplexity."
+
+He sent for Harbabou, and asked him if he had not imposed upon him,
+Harbabou swore he had bought his diamond from an Armenian; the other did
+not tell him who he had his from; but he proposed an expedient, which
+was that he should engage his rival in single combat.
+
+"It is not enough for your son-in-law to give a diamond," said he, "he
+should also give proofs of valor. Do not you think it just that he who
+kills his rival should marry the princess?"
+
+"Undoubtedly," answered the prince. "It will be a fine sight for the
+court. Fight directly. The conqueror shall take the arms of the
+conquered according to the customs of Cachemire, and he shall marry my
+daughter."
+
+The two pretenders to the hand of the princess go down into the court.
+Upon the stairs there was a jay and a raven. The raven cried, "Fight,
+fight." The jay cried, "Don't fight."
+
+This made the prince laugh; the two rivals scarce took any notice of it.
+They begin the combat. All the courtiers made a circle round them. The
+princess, who kept herself constantly shut up in her tower, did not
+choose to behold this sight. She never dreampt that her lover was at
+Cachemire, and she hated Barbabou to such a degree, that she could not
+bear the sight of him. The combat had the happiest result imaginable.
+Barbabou was killed outright; and this greatly rejoiced the people,
+because he was ugly and Rustan was very handsome. The favor of the
+public is almost always determined by this circumstance.
+
+The conqueror put on the coat of mail, scarf, and the casque of the
+conquered, and came, followed by the whole court, to present himself
+under the windows of his mistress. The multitude cried aloud: "Beautiful
+princess, come and see your handsome lover, who has killed his ugly
+rival." These words were re-echoed by her women. The princess unluckily
+looked out of the window, and seeing the armor of a man she hated, she
+ran like one frantic to her strong box and took out the fatal javelin,
+which flew to pierce Rustan, notwithstanding his cuirass. He cried out
+loudly, and at this cry the princess thought she again knew the voice of
+her unhappy lover.
+
+She ran down stairs, with her hair disheveled, and death in her eyes as
+well as her heart. Rustan had already fallen, all bloody, into the arms
+of his attendants. She sees him. Oh, moment! oh, sight! oh, discovery of
+inexpressible grief, tenderness and horror! She throws herself upon him,
+and embraces him.
+
+"You receive," said she, "the first and last kisses of your mistress and
+your murderer."
+
+She pulls the dart from the wound, plunges it in her heart, and dies
+upon the body of the lover whom she adores. The father, terrified, in
+despair, and ready to die like his daughter, tries in vain to bring her
+to life. She was no more. He curses the fatal dart, breaks it to pieces,
+throws away the two fatal diamonds; and whilst he prepared the funeral
+of his daughter instead of her marriage, he caused Rustan, who weltered
+in his blood and had still some remains of life, to be carried to his
+palace.
+
+He was put into bed. The first objects he saw on each side of his
+deathbed were Topaz and Ebene. This surprise made him in some degree
+recover his strength.
+
+"Cruel men," said he, "why did you abandon me? Perhaps the princess
+would still be alive if you had been with the unhappy Rustan."
+
+"I have not forsaken you a moment," said Topaz.
+
+"I have always been with you," said Ebene.
+
+"Ah! what do you say? why do you insult me in my last moments?" answered
+Rustan, with a languishing voice.
+
+"You may believe me," said Topaz. "You know I never approved of this
+fatal journey, the dreadful consequences of which I foresaw. I was the
+eagle that fought with the vulture and stripped it of its feathers; I
+was the elephant that carried away the baggage, in order to force you to
+return to your own country; I was the streaked ass that carried you,
+whether you would or no, to your father; it was I that made your horses
+go astray; it was I that caused the torrent that prevented your passage;
+it was I that raised the mountain which stopped up a road so fatal to
+you; I was the physician that advised you to return to your own country;
+I was the jay that cried to you not to fight."
+
+"And I," said Ebene, "was the vulture that he stripped of his feathers,
+the rhinoceros who gave him a hundred strokes with the horn, the clown
+that beat the streaked ass, the merchant who made you a present of
+camels to hasten you to your destruction; I dug the cavern that you
+crossed, I am the physician that encouraged you to walk, the raven that
+cried out to you to combat."
+
+"Alas!" said Topaz, "remember the oracles: 'If you go to the east you
+will be at the west.'"
+
+"Yes," said Ebene, "here the dead are buried with their faces turned to
+the west. The oracle was plain enough, though you did not understand it.
+You possessed, and you did not possess; for though you had the diamond,
+it was a false one, and you did not know it. You are conqueror, and you
+die; you are Rustan, and you cease to be so: all has been accomplished."
+
+Whilst he spoke thus, four white wings covered the body of Topaz, and
+four black ones that of Ebene.
+
+"What do I see?" cried Rustan.
+
+Topaz and Ebene answered together: "You see your two geniuses."
+
+"Good gentlemen," cried the unhappy Rustan, "how came you to meddle; and
+what occasion had a poor man for two geniuses?"
+
+"It is a law," answered Topaz; "every man has too geniuses. Plato was
+the first man who said so, and others have repeated it after him. You
+see that nothing can be more true. I who now speak to you, am your good
+genius. I was charged to watch over you to the last moment of your life.
+Of this task I have faithfully acquitted myself."
+
+"But," said the dying man, "if your business was to serve me, I am of a
+nature much superior to yours. And then how can you have the assurance
+to say you are my good genius, since you have suffered me to be deceived
+in everything I have undertaken, and since you suffer both my mistress
+and me to die miserably?"
+
+"Alas!" said Topaz, "it was your destiny."
+
+"If destiny does all," answered the dying man, "what is a genius good
+for? And you, Ebene, with your four black wings, you are, doubtless, my
+evil genius."
+
+"You have hit it," answered Ebene.
+
+"Then I suppose you were the evil genius of my princess likewise," said
+Rustan.
+
+"No," replied Ebene, "she had an evil genius of her own, and I seconded
+him perfectly."
+
+"Ah! cursed Ebene," said Rustan, "if you are so malicious, you don't
+belong to the same master with Topaz: you have been formed by two
+different principles, one of which is by nature good, the other evil."
+
+"That does not follow," said Ebene, "this is a very knotty point."
+
+"It is not possible," answered the dying man, "that a benevolent being
+could create so destructive a genius."
+
+"Possible or not possible," replied the genius, "the thing is just as I
+say."
+
+"Alas!" said Topaz, "my poor unfortunate friend, don't you see that that
+rogue is so malicious as to encourage you to dispute, in order to
+inflame your blood and hasten your death?"
+
+"Get you gone," said the melancholy Rustan, "I am not much better
+satisfied with you than with him. He at least acknowledges that it was
+his intention to hurt me; and you, who pretended to defend me, have done
+me no service at all."
+
+"I am very sorry for it," said the good genius.
+
+"And I too," said the dying man; "there is something at the bottom of
+all this which I cannot comprehend."
+
+"Nor I neither," said the good genius.
+
+"I shall know the truth of the matter in a moment," said Rustan. "We
+shall see that," said Topaz.
+
+The whole scene then vanished. Rustan again found himself in the house
+of his father, which he had not quitted, and in his bed, where he had
+slept an hour.
+
+He awakes in astonishment, perspiring all over, and quite wild. He rubs
+himself, he calls, he rings the bell. His valet de chambre, Topaz, runs
+in, in his nightcap, and yawning.
+
+"Am I dead or alive?" cried out Rustan, "shall the beauteous princess of
+Cachemire escape?
+
+"Does your lordship rave?" answered Topaz, coldly.
+
+"Ah!" cried Rustan, "what then is become of this barbarous Ebene, with
+his four black wings! It is he that makes me die by so cruel a death."
+
+"My lord," answered Topaz, "I left him snoring up stairs. Would you have
+me bid him come down?"
+
+"The villain," said Rustan, "has persecuted me for six months together.
+It was he who carried me to the fatal fair of Kaboul; it is he that
+cheated me of the diamond which the princess presented me; he is the
+sole cause of my journey, of the death of my princess, and of the wound
+with a javelin, of which I die in the flower of my age."
+
+"Take heart," said Topaz, "you were never at Kaboul; there is no
+princess of Cachemire; her father never had any children but two boys,
+who are now at college; you never had a diamond; the princess cannot be
+dead, because she never was born; and you are in perfect health."
+
+"What! is it not then true that you attended me whilst dying, and in the
+bed of the prince of Cachemire? Did you not acknowledge to me, that, in
+order to preserve me from so many dangers, you were an eagle, an
+elephant, a streaked ass, a physician, and a jay?"
+
+"My lord, you have dreampt all this," answered Topaz; "our ideas are no
+more of our own creating whilst we are asleep than whilst we are awake.
+God has thought proper that this train of ideas should pass in your
+head, most probably to convey some instruction to you, of which you may
+make a good use."
+
+"You make a jest of me," replied Rustan, "how long have I slept?"
+
+"My lord," said Topaz, "you have not yet slept an hour."
+
+"Cursed reasoner," returned Rustan, "how is it possible that I could be
+in the space of an hour at the fair of Kaboul six months ago; that I
+could have returned from thence, have traveled to Cachemire, and that
+Barbabou, the princess, and I, should have died?"
+
+"My lord," said Topaz, "nothing can be more easy and more common; and
+you might have traveled around the world, and have met with a great many
+more adventures in much less time. Is it not true that you can, in an
+hour's time, read the abridgment of the Persian history, written by
+Zoroaster? yet this abridgment contains eight hundred thousand years.
+All these events pass before your eyes one after another, in an hour's
+time. Now you must acknowledge, that it is as easy to Brahma to confine
+them to the space of an hour, as to extend them to the space of eight
+hundred thousand years. It is exactly the same thing. Imagine to
+yourself that time turns upon a wheel whose diameter is infinite. Under
+this vast wheel is a numerous multitude of wheels one within another.
+That in the centre is imperceptible, and goes round an infinite number
+of times, whilst the great wheel performs but one revolution. It is
+evident that all the events which have happened from the beginning of
+the world, to its end, might have happened in much less time than the
+hundred thousandth part of a second; and one may even go so far as to
+assert that the thing is so."
+
+"I cannot comprehend all this," said Rustan.
+
+"If you want information," said Topaz, "I have a parrot that will easily
+explain it to you. He was born some time before the deluge; he has been
+in the ark; he has seen a great deal; yet he is but a year and a half
+old. He will relate to you his history, which is extremely interesting."
+
+"Go fetch your parrot," said Rustan, "it will amuse me till I again find
+myself disposed to sleep."
+
+"It is with my sister, the nun," said Topaz: "I will go and fetch it. It
+will please you; its memory is faithful, it relates in a simple manner,
+without endeavoring to show wit at every turn."
+
+"So much the better," said Rustan, "I like that manner of telling
+stories."
+
+The parrot being brought to him, spoke in this manner:
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+N.B. Mademoiselle Catherine Vade could never find the history of the
+parrot in the commonplace-book of her late cousin Anthony Vade, author
+of that tale. This is a great misfortune, considering what age that
+parrot lived in.
+
+[Illustration: The parrot.]
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Young Memnon.[1]]
+
+
+
+MEMNON THE PHILOSOPHER.
+
+
+Memnon one day took it into his head to become a great philosopher. "To
+be perfectly happy," said he to himself, "I have nothing to do but to
+divest myself entirely of passions; and nothing is more easy, as
+everybody knows. In the first place, I will never be in love; for, when
+I see a beautiful woman, I will say to myself, these cheeks will one day
+grow sallow and wrinkled, these eyes be encircled with vermilion, that
+bosom become lean and emaciated, that head bald and palsied. Now I have
+only to consider her at present in imagination as she will afterwards
+appear in reality, and certainly a fair face will never turn my head.
+
+"In the second place, I shall always be temperate. It will be in vain to
+tempt me with good cheer, with delicious wines, or the charms of
+society, I will have only to figure to myself the consequences of
+excess--an aching head, a loathing stomach, the loss of reason, of
+health, and of time: I will then only eat to supply the waste of nature;
+my health will be always equal, my ideas pure and luminous. All this is
+so easy that there is no merit in accomplishing it."
+
+"But," says Memnon, "I must think a little of how I am to regulate my
+fortune: why, my desires are moderate, my wealth is securely placed with
+the Receiver General of the finances of Nineveh. I have wherewithal to
+live independent; and that is the greatest of blessings. I shall never
+be under the cruel necessity of dancing attendance at court. I will
+never envy any one, and nobody will envy me. Still all this is easy. I
+have friends, and I will preserve them, for we shall never have any
+difference. I will never take amiss anything they may say or do; and
+they will behave in the same way to me. There is no difficulty in all
+this."
+
+Having thus laid this little plan of philosophy in his closet, Memnon
+put his head out of the window. He saw two women walking under the
+plane-trees near his house. The one was old, and appeared quite at her
+ease. The other was young, handsome, and seemingly much agitated. She
+sighed, she wept, and seemed on that account still more beautiful. Our
+philosopher was touched, not, to be sure, with the lady, (he was too
+much determined not to feel any uneasiness of that kind) but with the
+distress which he saw her in. He came down stairs, and accosted the
+young Ninevite, designing to console her with philosophy. That lovely
+person related to him, with an air of the greatest simplicity, and in
+the most affecting manner, the injuries she sustained from an imaginary
+uncle--with what art he had deprived her of some imaginary property, and
+of the violence which she pretended to dread from him.
+
+"You appear to me," said she, "a man of such wisdom, that if you will
+come to my house and examine into my affairs, I am persuaded you will be
+able to relieve me from the cruel embarrassment I am at present involved
+in."
+
+Memnon did not hesitate to follow her, to examine her affairs
+philosophically, and to give her sound counsel.
+
+The afflicted lady led him into a perfumed chamber, and politely made
+him sit down with her on a large sofa, where they both placed themselves
+opposite to each other, in the attitude of conversation; the one eager
+in telling her story, the other listening with devout attention. The
+lady spoke with downcast eyes, whence there sometimes fell a tear, and
+which, as she now and then ventured to raise them, always met those of
+the sage Memnon. Their discourse was full of tenderness, which redoubled
+as often as their eyes met. Memnon took her affairs exceedingly to
+heart, and felt himself every instant more and more inclined to oblige a
+person so virtuous and so unhappy. By degrees, in the warmth of
+conversation they drew nearer. Memnon counseled her with great wisdom,
+and gave her most tender advice.
+
+At this interesting moment, as may easily be imagined, who should come
+in but the uncle. He was armed from head to foot, and the first thing he
+said was, that he would immediately sacrifice, as was just, both Memnon
+and his niece. The latter, who made her escape, knew that he was
+disposed to pardon, provided a good round sum were offered to him.
+Memnon was obliged to purchase his safety with all he had about him. In
+those days people were happy in getting so easily quit. America was not
+then discovered, and distressed ladies were not then so dangerous as
+they are now.
+
+Memnon, covered with shame and confusion, got home to his own house. He
+there found a card inviting him to dinner with some of his intimate
+friends.
+
+"If I remain at home alone," said he, "I shall have my mind so occupied
+with this vexatious adventure, that I shall not be able to eat a bit,
+and I shall bring upon myself some disease. It will therefore be prudent
+in me to go to my intimate friends and partake with them of a frugal
+repast. I shall forget, in the sweets of their society, the folly I have
+this morning been guilty of."
+
+Accordingly he attends the meeting; he is discovered to be uneasy at
+something, and he is urged to drink and banish care.
+
+"A little wine, drank in moderation, comforts the heart of God and man:"
+so reasoned Memnon the philosopher, and he became intoxicated. After the
+repast, play is proposed.
+
+"A little play, with one's intimate friends, is a harmless pastime." He
+plays and loses all in his purse, and four times as much on his word. A
+dispute arises on some circumstance in the game, and the disputants grow
+warm. One of his intimate friends throws a dice-box at his head, and
+strikes out one of his eyes. The philosopher Memnon is carried home
+drunk and penniless, with the loss of an eye.
+
+He sleeps out his debauch, and, when his head becomes clear, he sends
+his servant to the Receiver General of the finances of Nineveh, to draw
+a little money to pay his debt of honor to his intimate friends. The
+servant returns and informs him, that the Receiver General had that
+morning been declared a fraudulent bankrupt, and that by this means an
+hundred families are reduced to poverty and despair. Memnon, almost
+beside himself, puts a plaster on his eye and a petition in his pocket,
+and goes to court to solicit justice from the king against the bankrupt.
+In the saloon he meets a number of ladies, all in the highest spirits,
+and sailing along with hoops four-and-twenty feet in circumference. One
+of them, slightly acquainted with him, eyed him askance, and cried
+aloud: "Ah! what a horrid monster!"
+
+Another, who was better acquainted with him, thus accosts him:
+"Good-morrow, Mr. Memnon, I hope you are well, Mr. Memnon. La! Mr.
+Memnon, how did you lose your eye?" and turning upon her heel, she
+tripped unconcernedly away.
+
+Memnon hid himself in a corner, and waited for the moment when he could
+throw himself at the feet of the monarch. That moment at last arrived.
+Three times he kissed the earth, and presented his petition. His
+gracious majesty received him very favorably, and referred the paper to
+one of his satraps. The satrap takes Memnon aside, and says to him with
+a haughty air and satirical grin:
+
+"Hark ye, you fellow with the one eye, you must be a comical dog indeed,
+to address yourself to the king rather than to me: and still more so, to
+dare to demand justice against an honest bankrupt, whom I honor with my
+protection, and who is also a nephew to the waiting-maid of my mistress.
+Proceed no further in this business, my good friend, if you wish to
+preserve the eye you have left."
+
+Memnon having thus, in his closet, resolved to renounce women, the
+excess of the table, play, and quarreling, but especially having
+determined never to go to court, had been in the short space of
+four-and-twenty hours duped and robbed by a gentle dame, had got drunk,
+had gamed, had been engaged in a quarrel, had got his eye knocked out,
+and had been at court, where he was sneered at and insulted.
+
+Petrified with astonishment, and his heart broken with grief, Memnon
+returns homeward in despair. As he was about to enter his house, he is
+repulsed by a number of officers who are carrying off his furniture for
+the benefit of his creditors. He falls down almost lifeless under a
+plane-tree. There he finds the fair dame of the morning, who was walking
+with her dear uncle; and both set up a loud laugh on seeing Memnon with
+his plaster. The night approached, and Memnon made his bed on some straw
+near the walls of his house. Here the ague seized him, and he fell
+asleep in one of the fits, when a celestial spirit appeared to him in a
+dream.
+
+It was all resplendent with light: it had six beautiful wings, but
+neither feet, nor head, and could be likened to nothing.
+
+"What art thou?" said Memnon.
+
+"Thy good genius," replied the spirit.
+
+"Restore me then my eye, my health, my fortune, my reason," said Memnon;
+and he related how he had lost them all in one day. "These are
+adventures which never happen to us in the world we inhabit," said the
+spirit.
+
+"And what world do you inhabit?" said the man of affliction.
+
+"My native country," replied the other, "is five hundred millions of
+leagues distant from the sun, in a little star near Sirius, which you
+see from hence."
+
+"Charming country!" said Memnon. "And are there indeed with you no jades
+to dupe a poor devil, no intimate friends that win his money and knock
+out an eye for him, no fraudulent bankrupts, no satraps, that make a
+jest of you while they refuse you justice?"
+
+"No," said the inhabitant of the star, "we have nothing of the kind. We
+are never duped by women, because we have none among us; we never commit
+excesses at table, because we neither eat nor drink; we have no
+bankrupts, because with us there is neither silver nor gold; our eyes
+cannot be knocked out, because we have not bodies in the form of yours;
+and satraps never do us injustice, because in our world we are all
+equal."
+
+"Pray my lord," said Memnen, "without women and without eating how do
+you spend your time?"
+
+"In watching, over the other worlds that are entrusted to us; and I am
+now come to give you consolation."
+
+"Alas!" replied Memnon, "why did you not come yesterday to hinder me
+from committing so many indiscretions?"
+
+"I was with your elder brother Hassan," said the celestial being. "He is
+still more to be pitied than you are. His most gracious majesty, the
+sultan of the Indies, in whose court he has the honor to serve, has
+caused both his eyes to be put out for some small indiscretion; and he
+is now in a dungeon, his hands and feet loaded with chains."
+
+"'Tis a happy thing, truly," said Memnon, "to have a good genius in
+one's family, when out of two brothers, one is blind of an eye, the
+other blind of both; one stretched upon straw, the other in a dungeon."
+
+"Your fate will soon change," said the spirit of the star. "It is true
+you will never recover your eye; but, except that, you may be
+sufficiently happy if you never again take it into your head to be a
+perfect philosopher."
+
+"Is it then impossible?" said Memnon.
+
+"As impossible as to be perfectly wise, perfectly strong, perfectly
+powerful, perfectly happy. We ourselves are very far from it. There is a
+world indeed where all this takes place; but, in the hundred thousand
+millions of worlds dispersed over the regions of space, everything goes
+on by degrees. There is less philosophy and less enjoyment in the second
+than in the first, less in the third than in the second, and so forth
+till the last in the scale, where all are completely fools."
+
+"I am afraid," said Memnon, "that our little terraqueous globe here is
+the madhouse of those hundred thousand millions of worlds, of which your
+lordship does me the honor to speak."
+
+"Not quite," said the spirit, "but very nearly; everything must be in
+its proper place."
+
+"But are those poets and philosophers wrong, then, who tell us that
+everything is for the best?"
+
+"No, they are right, when we consider things in relation to the
+gradation of the whole universe."
+
+"Oh! I shall never believe it till I recover my eye again," said the
+unfortunate Memnon.
+
+
+[1] The above engraving from Chamber's Guide to the British Museum,
+represents a head and bust of Memnon, "formed of a single block of fine
+syene granite, one piece of which is red, while the rest is blue or
+grayish. The sculptor, with admirable taste, used the red part for the
+head, and the darker part for the breast. Although the statue has all
+the characteristics of Egyptian sculpture--the projecting eyes, thick
+lips, high ears, and small chin--yet such is the beauty of the
+execution, so much sweetness and mildness is there in the expression of
+the countenance, that the effect is, on the whole, extremely pleasing.
+Here, in short, we have the masterpiece of some Egyptian sculptor of
+superior genius, whose name has perished. Here also, if we are to accept
+the statue as a genuine likeness, we behold the features of the great
+Egyptian Pharaoh, at whose name, some fourteen centuries before Christ,
+the Mediterranean nations trembled. Doubtless on such a subject the
+sculptor would do his best; striving, while transmitting the features of
+the hero to posterity, to produce also a countenance that would be the
+ideal of Egyptian beauty."--E.
+
+[Illustration: Memnon and the distressed Ninevite.--"The afflicted lady
+led him into a perfumed chamber, where they both placed themselves
+opposite to each other, in the attitude of conversation; the one eager
+in telling her story, the other listening with devout attention.]
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Destouches and Croutef.]
+
+
+
+ANDRÉ DES TOUCHES AT SIAM.
+
+
+André Des Touches was a very agreeable musician in the brilliant reign
+of Louis XIV. before the science of music was perfected by Rameau; and
+before it was corrupted by those who prefer the art of surmounting
+difficulties to nature and the real graces of composition.
+
+Before he had recourse to these talents he had been a musketeer, and
+before that, in 1688, he went into Siam with the Jesuit Tachard, who
+gave him many marks of his affection, for the amusement he afforded on
+board the ship; and Des Touches spoke with admiration of father Tachard
+for the rest of his life.
+
+At Siam he became acquainted with the first commissary of Barcalon,
+whose name was Croutef; and he committed to writing most of those
+questions which he asked of Croutef, and the answers of that Siamese.
+They are as follows:
+
+DES TOUCHES.--How many soldiers have you?
+
+CROUTEF.--Fourscore thousand, very indifferently paid.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--And how many Talapolins?
+
+CROUTEF.--A hundred and twenty thousand, very idle and very rich. It is
+true that in the last war we were beaten, but our Talapolins have lived
+sumptuously, and built fine houses.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--Nothing could have discovered more judgment. And your
+finances, in what state are they?
+
+CROUTEF.--In a very bad state. We have, however, about ninety thousand
+men employed to render them prosperous, and if they have not succeeded,
+it has not been their fault; for there is not one of them who does not
+honorably seize all that he can get possession of, and strip and plunder
+those who cultivate the ground for the good of the state.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--Bravo! And is not your jurisprudence as perfect as the
+rest of your administration?
+
+CROUTEF.--It is much superior. We have no laws, but we have five or six
+thousand volumes on the laws. We are governed in general by customs; for
+it is known that a custom, having been established by chance, is the
+wisest principle that can be imagined. Besides, all customs being
+necessarily different in different provinces, the judges may choose at
+their pleasure a custom which prevailed four hundred years ago, or one
+which prevailed last year. It occasions a variety in our legislation,
+which our neighbors are forever admiring. This yields a certain fortune
+to practitioners. It is a resource for all pleaders who are destitute of
+honor, and a pastime of infinite amusement for the judges, who can with
+safe consciences decide causes without understanding them.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--But in criminal cases--you have laws which may be depended
+upon.
+
+CROUTEF.--God forbid! We can condemn men to exile, to the galleys, to be
+hanged; or we can discharge them, according to our own fancy. We
+sometimes complain of the arbitrary power of the Barcalon; but we choose
+that all our decisions should be arbitrary.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--That is very just. And the torture--do you put people to
+the torture?
+
+CROUTEF.--It is our greatest pleasure. We have found it an infallible
+secret to save a guilty person, who has vigorous muscles, strong and
+supple hamstrings, nervous arms, and firm loins; and we gaily break on
+the wheel all those innocent persons to whom nature has given feeble
+organs. It is thus we conduct ourselves with wonderful wisdom and
+prudence. As there are half proofs, I mean half truths, it is certain
+there are persons who are half innocent and half guilty. We commence,
+therefore, by rendering them half dead; we then go to breakfast;
+afterwards ensues entire death, which gives us great consideration in
+the world, which is one of the most valuable advantages of our offices.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--It must be allowed that nothing can be more prudent and
+humane. Pray tell me what becomes of the property of the condemned?
+
+CROUTEF.--The children are deprived of it. For you know that nothing can
+be more equitable than to punish the single fault of a parent on all his
+descendants.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--Yes. It is a great while since I have heard of this
+jurisprudence.
+
+CROUTEF.--The people of Laos, our neighbors, admit neither the torture,
+nor arbitrary punishments, nor the different customs, nor the horrible
+deaths which are in use among us; but we regard them as barbarians who
+have no idea of good government. All Asia is agreed that we dance the
+best of all its inhabitants, and that, consequently, it is impossible
+they should come near us in jurisprudence, in commerce, in finance, and,
+above all, in the military art.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--Tell me, I beseech you, by what steps men arrive at the
+magistracy in Siam.
+
+CROUTEF.--By ready money. You perceive that it may be impossible to be a
+good judge, if a man has not by him thirty or forty thousand pieces of
+silver. It is in vain a man may be perfectly acquainted with all our
+customs; it is to no purpose that he has pleaded five hundred causes
+with success--that he has a mind which is the seat of judgment, and a
+heart replete with justice; no man can become a magistrate without
+money. This, I say, is the circumstance which distinguishes us from all
+Asia, and particularly from the barbarous inhabitants of Laos, who have
+the madness to recompense all kinds of talents, and not to sell any
+employment.
+
+André des Touches, who was a little off his guard, said to the Siamese,
+that most of the airs which he had just sung sounded discordant to him;
+and wished to receive information concerning real Siamese music. But
+Croutef, full of his subject, and enthusiastic for his country,
+continued in these words:
+
+"What does it signify that our neighbors, who live beyond our mountains,
+have better music than we have, or better pictures; provided we have
+always wise and humane laws? It is in that circumstance we excel. For
+example:
+
+"If a man has adroitly stolen three or four hundred thousand pieces of
+gold, we respect him, and we go and dine with him. But if a poor servant
+gets awkwardly into his possession three or four pieces of copper out of
+his mistress's box, we never fail of putting that servant to a public
+death; first, lest he should not correct himself; secondly, that he may
+not have it in his power to produce a great number of children for the
+state, one or two of whom might possibly steal a few little pieces of
+copper, or become great men; thirdly, because it is just to proportion
+the punishment to the crime, and that it would be ridiculous to give any
+useful employment in a prison to a person guilty of so enormous a crime.
+
+"But we are still more just, more merciful, more reasonable in the
+chastisements which we inflict on those who have the audacity to make
+use of their legs to go wherever they choose. We treat those warriors so
+well who sell us their lives, we give them so prodigious a salary, they
+have so considerable a part in our conquests, that they must be the most
+criminal of all men to wish to return to their parents on the recovery
+of their reason, because they had been enlisted in a state of
+intoxication. To oblige them to remain in one place, we lodge about a
+dozen leaden balls in their heads; after which they become infinitely
+useful to their country.
+
+"I will not speak of a great number of excellent institutions, which do
+not go so far as to shed the blood of men, but which render life so
+pleasant and agreeable that it is impossible the guilty should avoid
+becoming virtuous. If a farmer has not been able to pay promptly a tax
+which exceeds his ability, we sell the pot in which he dresses his food;
+we sell his bed, in order that, being relieved of all his superfluities,
+he may be in a better condition to cultivate the earth."
+
+DES TOUCHES.--That is extremely harmonious!
+
+CROUTEF.--To comprehend our profound wisdom, you must know that our
+fundamental principle is to acknowledge in many places as our sovereign,
+a shaven-headed foreigner who lives at the distance of nine hundred
+miles from us. When we assign some of our best territories to any of our
+Talapolins, which it is very prudent in us to do, that Siamese Talapolin
+must pay the revenue of his first year to that shaven-headed Tartar,
+without which it is clear our lands would be unfruitful.
+
+But the time, the happy time, is no more, when that tonsured priest
+induced one half of the nation to cut the throats of the other half, in
+order to decide whether Sammonocodom had played at leap-frog or at some
+other game; whether he had been disguised in an elephant or in a cow; if
+he had slept three hundred and ninety days on the right side, or on the
+left. Those grand questions, which so essentially affect morality,
+agitated all minds; they shook the world; blood flowed plentifully for
+it; women were massacred on the bodies of their husbands; they dashed
+out the brains of their little infants on the stones, with a devotion,
+with a grace, with a contrition truly angelic. Woe to us! degenerate
+offspring of pious ancestors, who never offer such holy sacrifices! But,
+heaven be praised, there are yet among us at least a few good souls, who
+would imitate them if they were permitted.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--Tell me, I beseech you, sir, if at Siam you divide the
+tone major into two commas, or into two semi-commas; and if the progress
+of the fundamental sounds are made by one, three, and nine?
+
+CROUTEF. By Sammonocodom, you are laughing at me. You observe no bounds.
+You have interrogated me on the form of our government, and you speak to
+me of music!
+
+DES TOUCHES.---Music is everything. It was at the foundation of all the
+politics of the Greeks. But I beg your pardon; you have not a good ear;
+and we will return to our subject. You said, that in order to produce a
+perfect harmony--
+
+CROUTEF.--I was telling you, that formerly the tonsured Tartar pretended
+to dispose of all the kingdoms of Asia; which occasioned something very
+different from perfect harmony. But a very considerable benefit resulted
+from it; for people were then more devout toward Sammonocodom and his
+elephant than they are now; for, at the present time, all the world
+pretends to common sense, with an indiscretion truly pitiable. However,
+all things go on; people divert themselves, they dance, they play, they
+dine, they sup, they make love; this makes every man shudder who
+entertains good intentions.
+
+DES TOUCHES.--And what would you have more? You only want good music. If
+you had good music, you might call your nation the happiest in the
+world.
+
+
+
+
+THE BLIND PENSIONERS AT QUINZE VINGT.
+
+
+A SHORT DIGRESSION.--When the hospital of the Quinze Vingt was first
+founded, the pensioners were all equal, and their little affairs were
+concluded upon by a majority of votes. They distinguished perfectly by
+the touch between copper and silver coin; they never mistook the wine of
+Brie for that of Burgundy. Their sense of smelling was finer than that
+of their neighbors who had the use of two eyes. They reasoned very well
+on the four senses; that is, they knew everything they were permitted to
+know, and they lived as peaceably and as happily as blind people could
+be supposed to do. But unfortunately one of their professors pretended
+to have clear ideas in respect to the sense of seeing, he drew
+attention; he intrigued; he formed enthusiasts; and at last he was
+acknowledged chief of the community. He pretended to be a judge of
+colors, and everything was lost.
+
+This dictator of the Quinze Vingt chose at first a little council, by
+the assistance of which he got possession of all the alms. On this
+account, no person had the resolution to oppose him. He decreed, that
+all the inhabitants of the Quinze Vingt were clothed in white. The blind
+pensioners believed him; and nothing was to be heard but their talk of
+white garments, though, in fact, they possessed not one of that color.
+All their acquaintance laughed at them. They made their complaints to
+the dictator, who received them very ill; he rebuked them as innovators,
+freethinkers, rebels, who had suffered themselves to be seduced by the
+errors of those who had eyes, and who presumed to doubt that their chief
+was infallible. This contention gave rise to two parties.
+
+To appease the tumult, the dictator issued a decree, importing that all
+their vestments were red. There was not one vestment of that color in
+the Quinze Vingt. The poor men were laughed at more than ever.
+Complaints were again made by the community. The dictator rushed
+furiously in; and the other blind men were as much enraged. They fought
+a long time; and peace was not restored until the members of the Quinze
+Vingt were permitted to suspend their judgments in regard to the color
+of their dress.
+
+A deaf man, reading this little history, allowed that these people,
+being blind, were to blame in pretending to judge of colors; but he
+remained steady to his own opinion, that those persons who were deaf
+were the only proper judges of music.
+
+[Illustration: Boodh resting "upon the face of the waters," supported by
+serpents.][1]
+
+
+[1] Boodhism, is described in _Webster's Dictionary_ as "a system of
+religion in Eastern Asia, embraced by more than one third of the human
+race. It teaches that, at distant intervals, a Boodh, or deity, appears,
+to restore the world from a state of ignorance and decay, and then sinks
+into a state of entire non-existence, or rather, perhaps, of bare
+existence without attributes, action, or consciousness. This state,
+called _Nirvana_, or _Nicban_, is regarded as the ultimate supreme good,
+and the highest reward of virtue among men. Four Boodhs have thus
+appeared in the world, and passed into _Nirvana_, the last of whom,
+Gaudama, became incarnate about 500 years before Christ, from his death,
+in 543 B.C., many thousand years will elapse before the appearance of
+another; so that the system, in the mean time, is practically one of
+pure atheism."
+
+The serpent has ever been a significant emblem in religion and
+mythology. Being "the most subtle beast of the field," it was naturally
+accepted as the emblem of wisdom. With its tail in its mouth it formed a
+circle, which was regarded by the ancients as the emblem of eternity.
+Moses set up a brazen serpent on a cross in the wilderness as an emblem
+of healing. Æsculapius, the god of medicine, is seen on ancient statues
+with a serpent twining around a staff by his side, symbolizing health,
+prudence and foresight. Hygiea, the goddess of health, is represented in
+works of art as a virgin dressed in a long robe and feeding a serpent
+from a cup. Mercury is always shown holding in his right hand a wand
+with two twined serpents. The nine coiled serpents in the above
+engraving, correspond with the nine muses in the Grecian mythology. The
+cobra, whose poison is death, is an emblem of the destroying power, and
+destruction, or rather change, symbolizes new formation, renovation or
+creation. Thus eternal formation, proceeds from eternal destruction. The
+serpent also figures in a beautiful allegory concerning the introduction
+of knowledge among mankind, _i.e._, "the knowledge of good and
+evil."--E.
+
+
+
+
+BABABEC.
+
+
+When I was in the city of Benarez, on the borders of the Ganges, the
+country of the ancient Brahmins, I endeavored to instruct myself in
+their religion and manners. I understood the Indian language tolerably
+well. I heard a great deal, and remarked everything. I lodged at the
+house of my correspondent Omri, who was the most worthy man I ever knew.
+He was of the religion of the Brahmins: I have the honor to be a
+Mussulman. We never exchanged one word higher than another about Mahomet
+or Brahma. We performed our ablutions each on his own side; we drank of
+the same sherbet, and we ate of the same rice, as if we had been two
+brothers.
+
+One day we went together to the pagoda of Gavani. There we saw several
+bands of Fakirs. Some of whom were Janguis, that is to say,
+contemplative Fakirs; and others were disciples of the ancient
+Gymnosophists, who led an active life. They all have a learned language
+peculiar to themselves; it is that of the most ancient Brahmins; and
+they have a book written in this language, which they call the _Shasta_.
+It is, beyond all contradiction, the most ancient book in all Asia, not
+excepting the _Zend_.
+
+I happened by chance to cross in front of a Fakir, who was reading in
+this book.
+
+"Ah! wretched infidel!" cried he, "thou hast made me lose a number of
+vowels that I was counting, which will cause my soul to pass into the
+body of a hare instead of that of a parrot, with which I had before the
+greatest reason to flatter myself."
+
+I gave him a rupee to comfort him for the accident. In going a few paces
+farther, I had the misfortune to sneeze. The noise I made roused a
+Fakir, who was in a trance.
+
+"Heavens!" cried he, "what a dreadful noise. Where am I? I can no longer
+see the tip of my nose,--the heavenly light has disappeared."
+
+"If I am the cause," said I, "of your not seeing farther than the length
+of your nose, here is a rupee to repair the great injury I have done
+you. Squint again, my friend, and resume the heavenly light."
+
+Having thus brought myself off discreetly enough, I passed over to the
+side of the Gymnosophists, several of whom brought me a parcel of mighty
+pretty nails to drive into my arms and thighs, in honor of Brahma. I
+bought their nails, and made use of them to fasten down my boxes. Others
+were dancing upon their hands, others cut capers on the slack rope, and
+others went always upon one foot. There were some who dragged a heavy
+chain about with them, and others carried a packsaddle; some had their
+heads always in a bushel--the best people in the world to live with. My
+friend Omri took me to the cell of one of the most famous of these. His
+name was Bababec: he was as naked as he was born, and had a great chain
+about his neck, that weighed upwards of sixty pounds. He sat on a wooden
+chair, very neatly decorated with little points of nails that penetrated
+into his flesh; and you would have thought he had been sitting on a
+velvet cushion. Numbers of women flocked to him to consult him. He was
+the oracle of all the families in the neighborhood; and was, truly
+speaking, in great reputation. I was witness to a long conversation that
+Omri had with him.
+
+[Illustration: The Fakir.]
+
+
+
+     RELIGIOUS ZEAL.
+
+
+     The most earnest and zealous advocates of modern Christianity are,
+     undoubtedly, to be found in the ranks of that grotesque
+     organization known as the "Salvation Army"; but the wildest efforts
+     of these misguided propagandists fall far short of the intense
+     religious fervor displayed by the zealous followers of Brahma.
+
+     A contributor to Cassell's _Illustrated Travels_ describes a
+     religious festival which he witnessed a few years ago at Hurdwar on
+     the Ganges, while on an elephant shooting expedition in the Dehra
+     Dhoon, Northern India, which vividly illustrates the folly and
+     fanaticism of these degraded religious devotees, and which is only
+     second in repulsiveness to the horrible ceremonies of Juggernaut.
+
+     "There is," says this writer, "a religious festival every year at
+     Hurdwar, but every sixth year the ceremonies are more holy and the
+     crowd of pilgrims larger. The _Koom Mela_, a religious feast of
+     great holiness in native eyes, occurs every eleven years, and the
+     pilgrims on such occasions arrive from every part of India. The
+     crowd usually numbers over two millions. But it is when the
+     festivals occurring at intervals of six years and at intervals of
+     eleven years happen to meet in the same year that the crowd is the
+     largest, the importance of the fair greatest, and the concourse of
+     fanatic fakirs and holy Brahmins, from every hole and corner of
+     India, the most striking and remarkable. Merchants arrive from the
+     most distant countries; not from different parts of India only, but
+     from Persia, Thibet, China, Afghanistan, and even from Russia. It
+     was one of these festivals and giant fairs that we had the good
+     fortune to see.
+
+     "As the day of the great festival approaches, the fakirs--who by
+     the way are always stark naked, and generally as disgusting
+     specimens of humanity as it is possible to conceive--and the
+     Brahmins, excite their hearers by increasingly-fervent speeches, by
+     self-applied tortures, frightful contortions, and wild dances and
+     gestures, to which the crowd loudly responds by shouts and wild
+     yells. Early on the morning of the day which to their mind is more
+     holy than any other in their whole lifetime, the assembled people
+     to the number of two or even three millions, repair to the ghauts
+     and patiently wait for the signal, to begin their work of
+     regeneration and salvation. This desirable end is attained by each
+     and every individual who within a certain time, during the tinkling
+     of a well-known bell, precipitates himself into the river, washes
+     himself thoroughly, and repeats a short prayer. This done, the
+     pilgrim must leave the river again, and if he has not entered it
+     until the bell began to tinkle, and has succeeded in going through
+     his performance and left the water again before the sound of the
+     bell has ceased, his sins from his birth are remitted and washed
+     away, and his happy future after death is assured, unless he
+     commits some specifically named and very enormous sins. The other
+     pilgrims, who by reason of the great crowd cannot reach the water
+     in time to go through the whole performance as required by the
+     Brahmins, receive blessings commensurate with the length of their
+     stay in the water while the bell was ringing. Even the unfortunate
+     pilgrims who altogether fail to enter the water at the right
+     moment, are consoled by the partial removal of their load of
+     wickedness; but the blessings which accompany a full performance of
+     what the Brahmins require, are so superior to the favors following
+     an incomplete or tardy immersion, that it is not strange
+     extraordinary efforts are made to enter the water at the first
+     sound of the bells and gongs.
+
+     "The crowd was made up of men and women of half-a-hundred tribes of
+     nations, in every variety of dress and partial nakedness. Many men
+     wore their loincloths only; the women's hair was loose and flying
+     to the wind; all were newly and hideously painted; many were
+     intoxicated, not only with opium and spirits, but with religious
+     frenzy and impatient waiting. As the exciting moment approached
+     shouts rent the air; the priests harangued louder and louder; the
+     fakirs grew wilder and more incoherent; then gradually the great
+     noise subsided, when suddenly a single bell, immediately followed
+     by a hundred more, broke the silence, and with one accord, shouting
+     like madmen, the people rushed forward and the foremost ranks threw
+     themselves into the water. Then there arose a mighty shout, the
+     many gongs joined in, and the bells redoubled their efforts. But
+     the confusion, the crushing, the struggling for very life, the
+     surging of the mad masses at the water's edge, defy all
+     description.
+
+     "As the first rows of men and women reached the water they were
+     upset and overturned by the people in their rear, who passed over
+     them into still deeper water, and in their turn suffered the same
+     fate at the bands of the on-rushing crowd behind them, until deep
+     water was reached.... The shouts of excitement were changed to
+     shrieks and passionate cries for help; the men under water
+     struggled with those above them: weak women were carried out by the
+     stream or trampled on; men pulled each other down, and in their mad
+     fear exerted their utmost strength without object or purpose. Then
+     the survivors, trying to escape from the water, met the yet dry
+     crowd still charging down to death, and this increased the dire
+     confusion. It was a horrid sight, and one I was quite unprepared
+     for, notwithstanding all I had heard before."--E.
+
+
+
+"Do you think, father," said my friend, "that after having gone through
+seven metempsichoses, I may at length arrive at the habitation of
+Brahma?"
+
+"That is as it may happen," said the Fakir. "What sort of life do you
+lead?"
+
+"I endeavor," answered Omri, "to be a good subject, a good husband, a
+good father, and a good friend. I lend money without interest to the
+rich who want it, and I give it to the poor: I always strive to preserve
+peace among my neighbors."
+
+"But have you ever run nails into your flesh?" demanded the Brahmin.
+
+"Never, reverend father."
+
+"I am sorry for it," replied the father; "very sorry for it, indeed. It
+is a thousand pities; but you will certainly not reach above the
+nineteenth heaven."
+
+"No higher!" said Omri. "In truth, I am very well contented with my lot.
+What is it to me whether I go into the nineteenth or the twentieth,
+provided I do my duty in my pilgrimage, and am well received at the end
+of my journey? Is it not as much as one can desire, to live with a fair
+character in this world, and be happy with Brahma in the next? And pray
+what heaven do you think of going to, good master Bababec, with your
+chain?"
+
+"Into the thirty-fifth," said Bababec.
+
+"I admire your modesty," replied Omri, "to pretend to be better lodged
+than me. This is surely the result of an excessive ambition. How can
+you, who condemn others that covet honors in this world, arrogate such
+distinguished ones to yourself in the next? What right have you to be
+better treated than me? Know that I bestow more alms to the poor in ten
+days, than the nails you run into your flesh cost for ten years? What is
+it to Brahma that you pass the whole day stark naked with a chain about
+your neck? This is doing a notable service to your country, doubtless! I
+have a thousand times more esteem for the man who sows pulse or plants
+trees, than for all your tribe, who look at the tips of their noses, or
+carry packsaddles, to show their magnanimity."
+
+Having finished this speech, Omri softened his voice, embraced the
+Brahmin, and, with an endearing sweetness, besought him to throw aside
+his nails and his chain, to go home with him, and live with decency and
+comfort.
+
+The Fakir was persuaded, he was washed clean, rubbed with essences and
+perfumes, and clad in a decent habit; he lived a fortnight in this
+manner, behaved with prudence and wisdom, and acknowledged that he was a
+thousand times happier than before; but he lost his credit among the
+people, the women no longer crowded to consult him; he therefore quitted
+the house of the friendly Omri, and returned to his nails and his chain,
+_to regain his reputation_.
+
+[Illustration: Sphinx.]
+
+[Illustration: The study of nature.]
+
+
+
+
+THE STUDY OF NATURE.
+
+
+
+
+I.
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+
+There can be no doubt that everything in the world is governed by
+fatality. My own life is a convincing proof of this doctrine. An English
+lord, with whom I was a great favorite, had promised me that I should
+have the first living that fell to his gift. An old incumbent of eighty
+happened to die, and I immediately traveled post to London to remind the
+earl of his promise. I was honored with an immediate interview, and was
+received with the greatest kindness. I informed his lordship of the
+death of the rector, and of the hope I cherished relative to the
+disposal of the vacant living. He replied that I really looked very ill.
+I answered that, thanks to God, my greatest affliction was poverty. I am
+sorry for you, said his lordship, and he politely dismissed me with a
+letter of introduction to a Mr. Sidrac, who dwelt in the vicinity of
+Guildhall. I ran as fast as I could to this gentleman's house, not
+doubting but that he would immediately install me in the wished for
+living. I delivered the earl's letter, and Mr. Sidrac, who had the honor
+to be my lord's surgeon, asked me to sit down, and, producing a case of
+surgical instruments, began to assure me that he would perform an
+operation which he trusted would very soon relieve me.
+
+You must know, that his lordship had understood that I was suffering
+from some dreadful complaint, and that he generously intended to have me
+cured at his own expense. The earl had the misfortune to be as deaf as a
+post, a fact with which I, alas! had not been previously acquainted.
+
+During the time which I lost in defending myself against the attacks of
+Mr. Sidrac, who insisted positively upon curing me, whether I would or
+no, one out of the fifty candidates who were all on the lookout, came to
+town, flew to my lord, begged the vacant living--and obtained it.
+
+I was deeply in love with an interesting girl, a Miss Fidler, who had
+promised to marry me upon condition of my being made rector. My
+fortunate rival not only got the living, but also my mistress into the
+bargain!
+
+My patron, upon being told of his mistake, promised to make me ample
+amends, but alas! he died two days afterwards.
+
+Mr. Sidrac demonstrated to me that, according to his organic structure,
+my good patron could not have lived one hour longer. He also clearly
+proved that the earl's deafness proceeded entirely from the extreme
+dryness of the drums of his ears, and kindly offered, by an application
+of spirits of wine, to harden both of my ears to such a degree that I
+should, in one month only, become as deaf as any peer of the realm.
+
+I discovered Mr. Sidrac to be a man of profound knowledge. He inspired
+me with a taste for the study of nature, and I could not but be sensible
+of the valuable acquisition I had made in acquiring the friendship of a
+man who was capable of relieving me, should I need his services.
+Following his advice, I applied myself closely to the study of nature,
+to console myself for the loss of the rectory and of my enchanting Miss
+Fidler.
+
+
+
+
+II.
+
+THE STUDY OF NATURE.
+
+
+After making many profound observations upon nature, (having employed in
+the research, my five senses, my spectacles, and a very large
+telescope,) I said one day to Mr. Sidrac, unless I am much deceived,
+philosophy laughs at us. I cannot discover any trace of what the world
+calls nature; on the contrary, everything seems to me to be the result
+of art. By art the planets are made to revolve around the sun, while the
+sun revolves on its own axis. I am convinced that some genius has
+arranged things in such a manner, that the square of the revolutions of
+the planets is always in proportion to the cubic root from their
+distance to their centre, and one had need be a magician to find out how
+this is accomplished. The tides of the sea are the result of art no less
+profound and no less difficult to explain.
+
+All animals, vegetables and minerals are arranged with due regard to
+weight and measure, number and motion. All is performed by springs,
+levers, pullies, hydraulic machines, and chemical combinations, from the
+insignificant flea to the being called man, from the grass of the field
+to the far spreading oak, from a grain of sand to a cloud in the
+firmament of heaven. Assuredly, everything is governed by art, and the
+word _nature_ is but a chimera.
+
+What you say, answered Mr. Sidrac, has been said many years ago, and so
+much the better, for the probability is greater that your remark is
+true. I am always astonished when I reflect, that a grain of wheat cast
+into the earth will produce in a short time above a handful of the same
+corn. Stop, said I, foolishly, you forget that wheat must die before it
+can spring up again, at least so they say at college. My friend Sidrac,
+laughing heartily at this interruption, replied. That assertion went
+down very well a few years ago, when it was first published by an
+apostle called Paul; but in our more enlightened age, the meanest
+laborer knows that the thing is altogether too ridiculous even for
+argument.
+
+My dear friend, said I, excuse the absurdity of my remark, I have
+hitherto been a theologian, and one cannot divest one's self in a moment
+of every silly opinion.
+
+
+
+
+III.
+
+GOOD ADVICE.
+
+
+Some time after this conversation between the disconsolate person, whom
+we shall call Goodman, and the clever anatomist, Mr. Sidrac, the latter,
+one fine morning, observed his friend in St. James's Park, standing in
+an attitude of deep thought. What is the matter? said the surgeon. Is
+there anything amiss? No, replied Goodman, but I am left without a
+patron in the world since the death of my friend, who had the misfortune
+to be so deaf. Now supposing there be only ten thousand clergymen in
+England, and granting these ten thousand have each two patrons, the odds
+against my obtaining a bishopric are twenty thousand to one; a
+reflection quite sufficient to give any man the blue-devils. I remember,
+it was once proposed to me, to go out as cabin-boy to the East Indies. I
+was told that I should make my fortune. But as I did not think I should
+make a good admiral, whenever I should arrive at the distinction, I
+declined; and so, after turning my attention to every profession under
+the sun, I am fixed for life as a poor clergyman, good for nothing.
+
+Then be a clergyman no longer! cried Sidrac, and turn philosopher: what
+is your income? Only thirty guineas a year, replied Goodman; although at
+the death of my mother, it will be increased to fifty. Well, my dear
+Goodman, continued Sidrac, that sum is quite sufficient to support you
+in comfort. Thirty guineas are six hundred and thirty shillings, almost
+two shillings a day. With this fixed income, a man need do nothing to
+increase it, but is at perfect liberty to say all he thinks of the East
+India Company, the House of Commons, the king and all the royal family,
+of man generally and individually, and lastly, of God and his
+attributes; and the liberty we enjoy of expressing our thoughts upon
+these most interesting topics, is certainly very agreeable and amusing.
+
+Come and dine at my table every day. That will save you some little
+money. We will afterwards amuse ourselves with conversation, and your
+thinking faculty will have the pleasure of communicating with mine by
+means of speech, which is certainly a very wonderful thing, though its
+advantages are not duly appreciated by the greater part of mankind.
+
+[Illustration: The poor clergyman.--"I remember, it was once proposed to
+me, to go out as cabin-boy to the East Indies. I was told that I should
+make my fortune. But as I did not think I should make a good admiral,
+whenever I should arrive at the distinction, I declined; and so, after
+turning my attention to every profession under the sun, I am fixed for
+life as a poor clergyman, good for nothing."]
+
+
+
+
+IV.
+
+DIALOGUE UPON THE SOUL AND OTHER TOPICS.
+
+
+GOODMAN.--But my dear Sidrac, why do you always say _my thinking
+faculty_ and not _my soul_? If you used the latter term I should
+understand you much better.
+
+SIDRAC.--And for my part, I freely confess, I should not understand
+myself. I _feel_, I _know_, that God has endowed me with the faculties
+of thinking and speaking, but I can neither _feel_ nor _know_ that God
+has given me a thing called a soul.
+
+GOODMAN.--Truly upon reflection, I perceive that I know as little about
+the matter as you do, though I own that I have, all my life, been bold
+enough to believe that I knew. I have often remarked that the eastern
+nations apply to the soul the same word they use to express life. After
+their example, the Latins understood the word _anima_ to signify the
+life of the animal. The Greeks called the breath the soul. The Romans
+translated the word breath by _spiritus_, and thence it is that the word
+spirit or soul is found in every modern nation. As it happens that no
+one has ever seen this spirit or breath, our imagination has converted
+it into a being, which it is impossible to see or touch. The learned
+tell us, that the soul inhabits the body without having any place in it,
+that it has the power of setting our different organs in motion without
+being able to reach and touch them, indeed, what has not been said upon
+the subject? The great Locke knew into what a chaos these absurdities
+had plunged the human understanding. In writing the only reasonable book
+upon metaphysics that has yet appeared in the world, he did not compose
+a single chapter on the soul; and if by chance he now and then makes use
+of the word, he only introduces it to stand for intellect or mind.
+
+In fact, every human being, in spite of Bishop Berkeley, is sensible
+that he has a mind, and that this mind or intellect is capable of
+receiving ideas; but no one can feel that there is another being--a
+soul,--within him, which gives him motion, feeling and thought. It is,
+in fact, ridiculous to use words we do not understand, and to admit the
+existence of beings of whom we cannot have the slightest knowledge.
+
+SIDRAC.--We are then agreed upon a subject which, for so many centuries,
+has been a matter of dispute.
+
+GOODMAN.--And I must observe that I am surprised we should have agreed
+upon it so soon.
+
+SIDRAC. Oh! that is not so astonishing. We really wish to know what is
+truth. If we were among the Academies, we should argue like the
+characters in Rabelais. If we had lived in those ages of darkness, the
+clouds of which so long enveloped Great Britain, one of us would very
+likely have burned the other. We are so fortunate as to be born in an
+age comparatively reasonable; we easily discover what appears to us to
+be truth, and we are not afraid to proclaim it.
+
+GOODMAN.--You are right, but I fear, that, after all, the truth we have
+discovered is not worth much. In mathematics, indeed, we have done
+wonders; from the most simple causes we have produced effects that would
+have astonished Apollonius or Archimedes: but what have we proved in
+metaphysics? Absolutely nothing but our own ignorance.
+
+SIDRAC.--And do you call that nothing? You grant the supreme Being has
+given you the faculties of feeling and thinking, he has in the same
+manner given your feet the faculty of walking, your hands their
+wonderful dexterity, your stomach the capability of digesting food, and
+your heart the power of throwing arterial blood into all parts of your
+body. Everything we enjoy is derived from God, and yet we are totally
+ignorant of the means by which he governs and conducts the universe. For
+my own part, as Shakespeare says, I thank him for having taught me that,
+of the principles of things, I know absolutely nothing. It has always
+been a question, in what manner the soul acted upon the body. Before
+attempting to answer this question, I must be convinced that I have a
+soul. Either God has given us this wonderful spark of intellect, or he
+has gifted us with some principle that answers equally well. In either
+case, we are still the creatures of his divine will and goodness, and
+that is all I know about the matter.
+
+GOODMAN.--But if you do not know, tell me at least, what you are
+inclined to think upon the subject. You have opened skulls, and
+dissected the human fœtus. Have you ever, in these, dissections,
+discovered any appearance of a soul?
+
+SIDRAC.--Not the least, and I have not been able to understand how an
+immortal and spiritual essence, could dwell for months together in a
+membrane. It appears to me difficult to conceive that this pretended
+soul existed before the foundation of the body; for in what could it
+have been employed during the many ages previous to its mysterious union
+with flesh? Again! how can we imagine a spiritual principle waiting
+patiently in idleness during a whole eternity, in order to animate a
+mass of matter for a space of time, which, compared with eternity, is
+less than a moment?
+
+It is worse still, when I am told that God forms immortal souls out of
+nothing, and then cruelly dooms them to an eternity of flames and
+torments. What? burn a spirit, in which there can be nothing capable of
+burning; how can he burn the sound of a voice, or the wind that blows?
+though both the sound and wind were material during the short time of
+their existence; but a pure spirit--a thought--a doubt--I am lost in the
+labyrinth; on whichever side I turn, I find nothing but obscurity and
+absurdity, impossibility and contradiction. But I am quite at ease when
+I say to myself God is master of all. He who can cause each star to hold
+its particular course through the broad expanse of the firmament, can
+easily give to us sentiments and ideas, without the aid of this atom,
+called the soul. It is certain that God has endowed all animals, in a
+greater or lesser degree, with thought, memory, and judgment; he has
+given them life; it is demonstrated that they have feeling, since they
+possess all the organs of feeling; if then they have all this without a
+soul, why is it improbable that we have none? and why do mankind flatter
+themselves that they alone are gifted with a spiritual and immortal
+principle?
+
+GOODMAN.--Perhaps this idea arises from their inordinate vanity. I am
+persuaded that if the peacock could speak, he would boast of his soul,
+and would affirm that it inhabited his magnificent tail. I am very much
+inclined to believe with you, that God has created us thinking
+creatures, with the faculties of eating, drinking, feeling, &c., without
+telling us one word about the matter. We are as ignorant as the peacock
+I just mentioned, and he who said that we live and die without knowing
+how, why, or wherefore, spoke nothing but the truth.
+
+SIDRAC.--A celebrated author, whose name I forget, calls us nothing more
+than the puppets of Providence, and this seems to me to be a very good
+definition. An infinity of movements are necessary to our existence, but
+we did not ourselves invent and produce motion. There is a Being who
+has created light, caused it to move from the sun to our eyes in about
+seven minutes. It is only by means of motion that my five senses are put
+in action, and it is only by means of my senses that I have ideas, hence
+it follows that my ideas are derived from the great author of motion,
+and when he informs me how he communicates these ideas to me, I will
+most sincerely thank him.
+
+GOODMAN.--And so will I. As it is I constantly thank him for having
+permitted me, as Epictetus says, to contemplate for a period of some
+years this beautiful and glorious world. It is true that he could have
+made me happier by putting me in possession of Miss Fidler and a good
+rectory; but still, such as I am, I consider myself as under a great
+obligation to God's parental kindness and care.
+
+SIDRAC.--You say that it is in the power of God to give you a good
+living, and to make you still happier than you are at present. There are
+many persons who would not scruple flatly to contradict this proposition
+of yours. Do you forget that you yourself sometimes complain of
+fatality? A man, and particularly a priest, ought never to contradict
+one day an assertion he has perhaps made the day before. All is but a
+succession of links, and God is wiser than to break the eternal chain of
+events, even for the sake of my dear friend Goodman.
+
+GOODMAN.--I did not foresee this argument when I was speaking of
+fatality; but to come at once to the point, if it be so, God is as much
+a slave as myself.
+
+SIDRAC.--He is the slave of his will, of his wisdom, and of the laws
+which he has himself instituted; and it is impossible that he can
+infringe upon any of them; because it is impossible that he can become
+either weak or inconsistent.
+
+GOODMAN.--But, my friend, what you say would tend to make us
+irreligious, for, if God cannot change any of the affairs of the world,
+what is the use of teasing him with prayers, or of singing hymns to his
+praise?
+
+SIDRAC.--Well! who bids you worship or pray to God? We praise a man
+because we think him vain; we entreat of him when we think him weak and
+likely to change his purpose on account of our petitions. Let us do our
+duty to God, by being just and true to each other. In that consists our
+real prayers, and our most heartfelt praises.
+
+[Illustration: Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy.--Burmese Buddha.--Chinese
+figure in ivory.][1]
+
+
+
+
+A CONVERSATION WITH A CHINESE.
+
+
+In the year 1723, there was a Chinese in Holland, who was both a learned
+man and a merchant, two things that ought by no means to be
+incompatible; but which, thanks to the profound respect that is shown to
+money, and the little regard that the human species pay to merit, have
+become so among us.
+
+This Chinese, who spoke a little Dutch, happened to be in a bookseller's
+shop at the same time that some literati were assembled there. He asked
+for a book; they offered him Bossuet's _Universal History_, badly
+translated. At the title _Universal History_--
+
+"How pleased am I," cried the Oriental, "to have met with this book. I
+shall now see what is said of our great empire; of a nation that has
+subsisted for upwards of fifty thousand years; of that long dynasty of
+emperors who have governed us for such a number of ages. I shall see
+what these Europeans think of the religion of our literati, and of that
+pure and simple worship we pay to the Supreme Being. What a pleasure
+will it be for me to find how they speak of our arts, many of which are
+of a more ancient date with us than the eras of all the kingdoms of
+Europe! I fancy the author will be greatly mistaken in relation to the
+war we had about twenty-two thousand five hundred and fifty-two years
+ago, with the martial people of Tonquin and Japan, as well as the solemn
+embassy that the powerful emperor of Mogulitian sent to request a body
+of laws from us in the year of the world 500000000000079123450000."
+
+"Lord bless you," said one of the literati, "there is hardly any mention
+made of that nation in this world, the only nation considered is that
+marvelous people, the Jews."
+
+"The Jews!" said the Chinese, "those people then must certainly be
+masters of three parts of the globe at least."
+
+"They hope to be so some day," answered the other; "but at present they
+are those pedlars you see going about here with toys and nicknacks, and
+who sometimes do us the honor to clip our gold and silver."
+
+"Surely you are not serious," exclaimed the Chinese. "Could those people
+ever have been in possession of a vast empire?"
+
+Here I joined in the conversation, and told him that for a few years
+they were in possession of a small country to themselves; but that we
+were not to judge of a people from the extent of their dominions, any
+more than of a man by his riches.
+
+"But does not this book take notice of some other nations?" demanded the
+man of letters.
+
+"Undoubtedly," replied a learned gentleman who stood at my elbow; "it
+treats largely of a small country about sixty leagues wide, called
+Egypt, in which it is said that there is a lake of one hundred and fifty
+leagues in circumference, made by the hands of man."
+
+"My God!" exclaimed the Chinese, "a lake of one hundred and fifty
+leagues in circumference within a spot of ground only sixty leagues
+wide! This is very curious!"
+
+"The inhabitants of that country," continued the doctor, "were all
+sages."
+
+"What happy times were those!" cried the Chinese; "but is that all?"
+
+"No," replied the other, "there is mention made of those famous people
+the Greeks."
+
+"Greeks! Greeks!" said the Asiatic, "who are those Greeks?"
+
+"Why," replied the philosopher, "they were masters of a little province,
+about the two hundredth part as large as China, but whose fame spread
+over the whole world."
+
+"Indeed!" said the Chinese, with an air of openness and ingenuousness;
+"I declare I never heard the least mention of these people, either in
+the Mogul's country, in Japan, or in Great Tartary."
+
+"Oh, the barbarian! the ignorant creature!" cried out our sage very
+politely. "Why then, I suppose you know nothing of Epaminondas the
+Theban, nor of the Pierian Heaven, nor the names of Achilles's two
+horses, nor of Silenus's ass? You have never heard speak of Jupiter, nor
+of Diogenes, nor of Lais, nor of Cybele, nor of--"
+
+"I am very much afraid," said the learned Oriental, interrupting him,
+"that you know nothing of that eternally memorable adventure of the
+famous Xixofon Concochigramki, nor of the masteries of the great
+Fi-psi-hi-hi! But pray tell me what other unknown things does this
+_Universal History_ treat of?"
+
+Upon this my learned neighbor harangued for a quarter of an hour
+together about the Roman republic, and when he came to Julius Cæsar the
+Chinese stopped him, and very gravely said.
+
+"I think I have heard of him, was he not a Turk?"
+
+"How!" cried our sage in a fury, "don't you so much as know the
+difference between Pagans, Christians, and Mahometans? Did you never
+hear of Constantine? Do you know nothing of the history of the popes?"
+
+"We have heard something confusedly of one Mahomet," replied the
+Asiatic.
+
+"It is surely impossible," said the other, "but that you must have heard
+at least of Luther, Zuinglius, Bellarmin, and Œcolampadius."
+
+"I shall never remember all those names," said the Chinese, and so
+saying he quitted the shop, and went to sell a large quantity of Pekoa
+tea, and fine calico, and then after purchasing what merchandise he
+required, set sail for his own country, adoring _Tien_, and recommending
+himself to Confucius.
+
+As to myself, the conversation I had been witness to plainly discovered
+to me the nature of vain glory; and I could not forbear exclaiming:
+
+"Since Cæsar and Jupiter are names unknown to the finest, most ancient,
+most extensive, most populous, and most civilized kingdom in the
+universe, it becomes ye well, O ye rulers of petty states! ye pulpit
+orators of a narrow parish, or a little town! ye doctors of Salamanca,
+or of Bourges! ye trifling authors, and ye heavy commentators!--it
+becomes you well, indeed, to aspire to fame and immortality."
+
+
+[1] According to Chambers' work on _The British Museum_, from which the
+above cuts are copied, "the Chinese, are a vast nation of some
+300,000,000 of souls, nearly a third part of the whole human race. The
+entire population is subject to the supreme and despotic authority of a
+single hereditary ruler who resides at Pekin, the chief city of the
+whole empire. Under him the government is administered by a descending
+hierarchy of officials or mandarins, who are chosen from all ranks of
+the people, according to their talents as displayed in the course, first
+of their education at school and college, and afterwards of their public
+life. The officials are, in short, the men in highest repute for
+scholarship and accomplishments in the empire; and the whole system of
+the government is that of promotion upwards from the ranks of the
+people, according to merit. The Chinese generally are remarkable for
+common sense, orderliness, and frugal prudential habits. Printing and
+paper being cheap among them, and education universal, they have an
+immense literature, chiefly in the departments of the drama, the novel,
+and the moral essay; their best writers of fiction are said to resemble
+Richardson in style, and their best moralists Franklin. The greatest
+name in their literature, or indeed in their history, is that of
+Confucius, a philosopher and religious teacher who lived about 500 years
+B.C., and who left a number of books expounding and enforcing the great
+maxims of morality. During all the revolutions that have since elapsed,
+the doctrines of Confucius have retained their hold of the Chinese mind,
+and the religion of China consists in little more than an attachment to
+these doctrines, and a veneration for their founder. With abstract
+notions of the Deity, and of the destiny of man when he quits this life,
+the Chinese do not trouble themselves; a moral, correct life, and
+especially an honorable discharge of the duties of a son and a citizen,
+is the whole aim of their piety. There are, however, some voluntary
+sects among them, who superinduce articles of speculative belief on the
+prosaic code of morality established by Confucius; and forms of
+religious worship are practised over the whole country under the direct
+sanction of the government. There are a number of figures, larger and
+smaller, of Chinese divinities, some of which are very neatly carved in
+ivory, wood, and stone. With what precise feelings the more educated
+Chinese address these images in prayer--whether they look upon them as
+symbols, or whether, like Polytheists generally, they actually view the
+carved figures themselves as gifted with powers--it would be difficult
+to say; the mass of the people, however, probably never ask the
+question, but, from the mere force of custom, come to regard such
+objects as the figure of Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy, and the larger
+gilt figures of the god and goddess, precisely as the Polytheistic
+Greeks or Romans regarded their statues in their temples; that is, as
+real divinities with power for good or evil. The religious sentiment,
+however, sits very lightly on the Chinese. Absence of any feeling of the
+supernatural is perhaps the most remarkable feature of the Chinese
+character.
+
+"Buddhism, was founded, as is generally believed, some centuries before
+Christ by a Hindoo prince and sage named Gautama. As originally
+propounded, Buddhism is supposed to have been a purer and more
+reasonable form of faith than Brahminism, recognising more clearly the
+spiritual and moral aims of religion; but, having been expelled from
+Hindostan during the early centuries of our era, after having undergone
+severe persecution from the Brahmins--at whose power it struck, by
+proscribing the system of castes---it sought refuge in the eastern
+peninsula, Ceylon, Thibet, Japan, and China, where it has been modified
+and corrupted into various forms."--E.
+
+[Illustration: The Birth of Minerva from the Brain of Jove.]
+
+[Illustration: The Birth of Eve from the Side Of Adam.]
+
+
+
+
+     ANDROGYNOUS DEITIES.
+
+
+     The ancients ascribed the existence of the universe to the fiat of
+     omnipotence. Almighty power conjoined with infinite wisdom had
+     produced the world and all that it inhabits. Man, the head of
+     visible creation, was formed in the image of the gods, but the gods
+     only were endowed with generative or creative power. These gods
+     were androgynous--that is, male and female--containing in one
+     person both the paternal and maternal attributes. Plato taught that
+     mankind, like the gods, were originally androgynous, and Moses
+     tells us that Eve, in matured wisdom and beauty, sprang forth from
+     the side of Adam, even as
+
+           "From great Jove's head, the armed Minerva sprung
+           With awful shout."
+
+     "The thought of God as the Divine Mother," says a sincere and
+     intelligent clergyman in a sermon recently published, "is a very
+     ancient one, found in the most early nature worships." "We thank
+     Thee O God," says the Rev. Theodore Parker, "that Thou art our
+     Father and our Mother." "O God," says St. Augustine, "Thou art the
+     Father, Thou the Mother of Thy children."
+
+     The preceding illustration of the birth of Minerva,--the goddess of
+     wisdom,--_i.e. wisdom issuing from the brain of Jove_, is from
+     Falkener's _Museum of Classical Antiquities_. It is taken from an
+     ancient Etruscan patera (mirror), now in the Museum at Bologna, and
+     is supposed to have been copied from the pediment of the eastern or
+     main entrance to the Parthenon, or temple of Minerva. This pediment
+     was the work of Phidias, and, like so many of the former monuments
+     of ancient art and civilization, is now forever lost to mankind.
+
+     "The goddess," says the distinguished architect and antiquary M. De
+     Quincy, "is shown issuing from the head of Jupiter. She has a
+     helmet on her head, buckler on her arm, and spear in her hand.
+     Jupiter is seated, holding a sceptre in one hand and a thunderbolt
+     in the other. On the right of the new born goddess is Juno, whose
+     arms are elevated, and who seems to have assisted at the
+     extraordinary childbirth. On the left of Jupiter is Venus,
+     recognizable by a sprig of myrtle and a dove. Behind Juno is
+     Vulcan, still armed with the axe which has cleft the head of the
+     god, and seeming to regard with admiration the success of his
+     operations."
+
+     The engraving representing the birth of Eve, is from the _Speculum
+     Salutis, or the Mirror of Salvation_, of which many manuscript
+     copies were issued, for the instruction of the mendicant friars,
+     between the twelfth and fifteenth centuries. "Heineken describes a
+     copy in the imperial library of Vienna, which he attributes to the
+     twelfth century. He says, such was the popularity of the work with
+     the Benedictines that almost every monastery possessed a copy of
+     it. Of the four manuscript copies owned by the British Museum, one
+     is supposed to have been written in the thirteenth century, another
+     copy is in the Flemish writing of the fifteenth century." This
+     work, which contains several engravings and forty-five chapters of
+     barbarous Latin rhymes, presents a good illustration of Christian
+     art as it existed during the period immediately preceding the
+     revival of letters, when the barbarism and ignorance of the dark
+     ages had supplanted the artistic culture of ancient Greece and
+     Rome.
+
+     Unprejudiced readers will doubtless admit that the birth of Minerva
+     from the brain of Jove greatly resembles the birth of Eve from the
+     side of Adam, and these myths show the analogy existing between the
+     Jewish and Pagan mythologies; but the design and execution of the
+     respective engravings, show the retrogression in art that had taken
+     place between the time of the immortal Phidias and that of Pope
+     Innocent III.[1]--between Pagan civilization as it existed prior to
+     the Christian era, and the medieval barbarism of the successors of
+     St. Peter.
+
+     "God created man in his own image," says Godfrey Higgins in the
+     _Anacalypsis_, (vol. 2, p. 397.) "Everything was supposed to be in
+     the image of God; and thus man was created double--the male and
+     female in one person, or androgynous like God. By some uninitiated
+     Jews, of about the time of Christ, this double being was supposed
+     to have been created back to back [see the bearded Bacchus and
+     Ariadne on the following page]; but I believe, from looking at the
+     twins in all ancient zodiacs, it was side by side; precisely as we
+     have seen the Siamese boys,--but still _male_ and _female_.
+     Besides, the book of Genesis implies that they were side by side,
+     by the woman being taken from the _side_ of man. Among the Indians
+     the same doctrine is found, as we might expect."
+
+     "We must rise to man," says the eloquent clergyman previously
+     referred to, "in order to know rightly what God is. Humanity
+     plainly images a power which is at once the source and pattern of
+     the womanly as well as of the manly qualities, inasmuch as woman as
+     well as man is needed to fill out the idea of humanity. The womanly
+     traits--pity, forgiveness, gentleness, patience, sympathy,
+     unselfishness--are as worthy of the Divine Being as the manly
+     traits."--E.
+
+
+
+     [1] "It was," says Gibbon, "at the feet of his legate that John of
+England surrendered his crown; and Innocent may boast of the two most
+signal triumphs over sense and humanity, the establishment of
+transsubstantiation, and the origin of the inquisition."
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Bacchus and Ariadne.][1]
+
+
+
+
+PLATO'S DREAM.
+
+
+Plato was a great dreamer, as many others have been since his time. He
+dreampt that mankind were formerly double; and that, as a punishment for
+their crimes, they were divided into male and female.
+
+He undertook to prove that there can be no more than five perfect
+worlds, because there are but five regular mathematical bodies. His
+Republic was one of his principal dreams. He dreampt, moreover, that
+watching arises from sleep, and sleep from watching; and that a person
+who should attempt to look at an eclipse, otherwise than in a pail of
+water, would surely lose his sight. Dreams were, at that time, in great
+repute.
+
+Here follows one of his dreams, which is not one of the least
+interesting. He thought that the great Demiurgos, the eternal geometer,
+having peopled the immensity of space with innumerable globes, was
+willing to make a trial of the knowledge of the genii who had been
+witnesses of his works. He gave to each of them a small portion of
+matter to arrange, nearly in the same manner as Phidias and Zeuxis would
+have given their scholars a statue to carve, or a picture to paint, if
+we may be allowed to compare small things to great.
+
+[Illustration: Envy.]
+
+Demogorgon had for his lot the lump of mould, which we call the Earth;
+and having formed it, such as it now appears, he thought he had executed
+a masterpiece. He imagined he had silenced Envy herself, and expected to
+receive the highest panegyrics, even from his brethren; but how great
+was his surprise, when, at his next appearing among them, they received
+him with a general hiss.
+
+One among them, more satirical than the rest, accosted him thus:
+
+"Truly you have performed mighty feats! you have divided your world into
+two parts; and, to prevent the one from having communication with the
+other, you have carefully placed a vast collection of waters between the
+two hemispheres. The inhabitants must perish with cold under both your
+poles, and be scorched to death under the equator. You have, in your
+great prudence, formed immense deserts of sand, so that all who travel
+over them may die with hunger and thirst. I have no fault to find with
+your cows, your sheep, your cocks, and your hens; but can never be
+reconciled to your serpents and your spiders. Your onions and your
+artichokes are very good things, but I cannot conceive what induced you
+to scatter such a heap of poisonous plants over the face of the earth,
+unless it was to poison its inhabitants. Moreover, if I am not mistaken,
+you have created about thirty different kinds of monkeys, a still
+greater number of dogs, and only four or five species of the human race.
+It is true, indeed, you have bestowed on the latter of these animals a
+faculty by you called Reason; but, in truth, this same reason is a very
+ridiculous thing, and borders very near upon folly. Besides, you do not
+seem to have shown any very great regard to this two-legged creature,
+seeing you have left him with so few means of defense; subjected him to
+so many disorders, and provided him with so few remedies; and formed him
+with such a multitude of passions, and so small a portion of wisdom or
+prudence to resist them. You certainly was not willing that there should
+remain any great number of these animals on the earth at once; for,
+without reckoning the dangers to which you have exposed them, you have
+so ordered matters that, taking every day through the year, the small
+pox will regularly carry off the tenth part of the species, and sister
+maladies will taint the springs of life in the nine remaining parts; and
+then, as if this was not sufficient, you have so disposed things, that
+one-half of those who survive will be occupied in going to law with each
+other, or cutting one another's throats.
+
+"Now, they must doubtless be under infinite obligations to you, and it
+must be owned you have executed a masterpiece."
+
+Demogorgon blushed. He was sensible there was much moral and physical
+evil in this affair; but still he insisted there was more good than ill
+in it.
+
+"It is an easy matter to find fault, good folks," said the genii; "but
+do you imagine it is so easy to form an animal, who, having the gift of
+reason and free-will, shall not sometimes abuse his liberty? Do you
+think that, in rearing between nine and ten thousand different plants,
+it is so easy to prevent some few from having noxious qualities? Do you
+suppose that, with a certain quantity of water, sand, and mud, you could
+make a globe that should have neither seas nor deserts?"
+
+"As for you, my sneering friend, I think you have just finished the
+planet Jupiter. Let us see now what figure you make with your great
+belts, and your long nights, with four moons to enlighten them. Let us
+examine your worlds, and see whether the inhabitants you have made are
+exempt from follies or diseases."
+
+Accordingly the genii fell to examining the planet Jupiter, when the
+laugh went strongly against the laugher. The serious genii who had made
+the planet Saturn, did not escape without his share of the censure, and
+his brother operators, the makers of Mars, Mercury, and Venus, had each
+in his turn some reproaches to undergo.
+
+Several large volumes, and a great number of pamphlets, were written on
+this occasion; smart sayings and witty repartees flew about on all
+sides; they railed against and ridiculed each other; and, in short, the
+disputes were carried on with all the warmth of party heat, when the
+eternal Demiurgos thus imposed silence on them all:
+
+"In your several performances there is both good and bad, because you
+have a great share of understanding, but at the same time fall short of
+perfection. Your works will not endure above an hundred millions of
+years, after which you will acquire more knowledge, and perform much
+better. It belongs to me alone to create things perfect and immortal."
+
+This was the doctrine Plato taught his disciples. One of them, when he
+had finished his harangue, cried out, "_And so you then awoke?_"
+
+
+[1] The above representation of a bearded Bacchus and Ariadne is from
+Falkener's _Museum of Classical Antiquities_. The statue was found at
+Pompeii in 1847.--E.
+
+[Illustration: Plato.]
+
+[Illustration: Visiting Seignior Pococurante.]
+
+
+
+
+PLEASURE IN HAVING NO PLEASURE.
+
+
+"Hitherto," said Candide to Martin, "I have met with none but
+unfortunate people in the whole habitable globe, except in El Dorado,
+but, observe those gondoliers, are they not perpetually singing?"
+
+"You do not see them," answered Martin, "at home with their wives and
+brats. The doge has his chagrin, gondoliers theirs. Nevertheless, in the
+main, I look upon the gondolier's life as preferable to that of the
+doge; but the difference is so trifling, that it is not worth the
+trouble of examining into."
+
+"I have heard great talk," said Candide, "of the Senator Pococurante,
+who lives in that fine house at the Brenta, where, they say, he
+entertains foreigners in the most polite manner. They pretend this man
+is a perfect stranger to uneasiness."
+
+"I should be glad to see so extraordinary a being," said Martin.
+
+Candide thereupon sent a messenger to Seignior Pococurante, desiring
+permission to wait on him the next day.
+
+Accordingly, Candide and his friend Martin went in a gondola on the
+Brenta, and arrived at the palace of the noble Pococurante. The gardens
+were laid out in elegant taste, and adorned with fine marble statues;
+his palace was built after the most approved rules in architecture. The
+master of the house, who was a man of sixty, and very rich, received our
+two travelers with great politeness, but without much ceremony, which
+somewhat disconcerted Candide, but was not at all displeasing to Martin.
+
+As soon as they were seated, two very pretty girls, neatly dressed,
+brought in chocolate, which was extremely well frothed. Candide could
+not help making encomiums upon their beauty and graceful carriage.
+
+"The creatures are well enough," said the senator, "but I am heartily
+tired of women, of their coquetry, their jealousy, their quarrels, their
+humors, their vanity, their pride, and their folly; I am weary of making
+sonnets, or of paying for sonnets to be made on them; and, after all,
+those two girls begin to grow very indifferent to me."
+
+After having refreshed himself, Candide walked into a large gallery,
+where he was struck with the sight of a fine collection of paintings.
+
+"Pray," said Candide, "by what master are the first two of these?"
+
+"They are Raphael's," answered the senator. "I gave a great deal of
+money for them seven years ago, purely out of curiosity, as they were
+said to be the finest pieces in Italy; but I cannot say they please me:
+the coloring is dark and heavy; the figures do not swell nor come out
+enough, and the drapery is very bad. In short, notwithstanding the
+encomiums lavished upon them, they are not, in my opinion, a true
+representation of nature. I approve of no paintings but where I think I
+behold nature herself; and there are very few, if any, of that kind to
+be met with. I have what is called a fine collection, but it affords me
+no delight."
+
+While dinner was getting ready, Pococurante ordered a concert. Candide
+praised the music to the skies.
+
+"This noise," said the noble Venetian, "may amuse one for a little time,
+but if it were to last above half an hour, it would grow very tiresome,
+though perhaps no one would care to own it. Music has become the art of
+executing that which is difficult. Now whatever is difficult cannot long
+continue pleasing. I might take more pleasure in an opera if they had
+not made that species of dramatic entertainment so shockingly monstrous;
+and I am amazed that people can bear to see wretched tragedies set to
+music, where the scenes are contrived for no other purpose than to lug
+in, as it were by the ears, three or four ridiculous songs, to give a
+favorite actress an opportunity of exhibiting her voice. Let who will or
+can die away in raptures at the trills of an eunuch quavering the
+majestic part of Cæsar or Cato, and strutting in a foolish manner on the
+stage; for my part, I have long ago renounced these paltry
+entertainments, which constitute the glory of modern Italy, and are so
+dearly purchased by crowned heads."
+
+Candide opposed these sentiments; but he did it in a discreet manner; as
+for Martin, he was entirely of the old senator's opinion.
+
+Dinner being served up, they sat down to table, and after a very hearty
+repast returned to the library. Candide observing Homer richly bound,
+commended the noble Venetian's taste.
+
+"This," said he, "is a book that was once the delight of the great
+Pangloss, the best philosopher in Germany."
+
+"Homer is no favorite of mine," answered Pococurante, very coolly: "I
+was made to believe once that I took a pleasure in reading him; but his
+continual repetitions of battles have all such a resemblance with each
+other; his gods, that are forever in a hurry and bustle without ever
+doing anything; his Helen, that is the cause of the war, and yet hardly
+acts in the whole performance; his Troy, that holds out so long, without
+being taken; in short, all these things together make the poem very
+insipid to me. I have asked some learned men, whether they are not in
+reality as much tired as myself with reading this poet? Those who spoke
+ingenuously, assured me that he had made them fall asleep; and yet, that
+they could not well avoid giving him a place in their libraries; but it
+was merely as they would do an antique, or those rusty medals which are
+kept only for curiosity, and are of no manner of use in commerce."
+
+"But your excellency does not surely form this same opinion of Virgil?"
+said Candide.
+
+"Why, I grant," replied Pococurante, "that the second, third, fourth,
+and sixth book, of his Æneid are excellent; but as for his pious Æneas,
+his strong Cloanthus, his friendly Achates, his boy Ascanius, his silly
+King Latinus, his ill-bred Amata, his insipid Lavinia, and some other
+characters much in the same strain, I think there cannot be in nature
+anything more flat and disagreeable. I must confess, I much prefer Tasso
+to him; nay, even that sleepy tale-teller Ariosto."
+
+"May I take the liberty to ask if you do not receive great pleasure from
+reading Horace?" said Candide.
+
+"There are maxims in this writer," replied Pococurante, "from whence a
+man of the world may reap some benefit; and the short measure of the
+verse makes them more easy to retain in the memory. But I see nothing
+extraordinary in his journey to Brundusium, and his account of his bad
+dinner; nor in his dirty low quarrel between one Rupilius, whose words,
+as he expresses it, were full of poisonous filth; and another, whose
+language was dipped in vinegar. His indelicate verses against old women
+and witches have frequently given me great offense; nor can I discover
+the great merit of his telling his friend Mecænas, that if he will but
+rank him in the class of lyric poets, his lofty head shall touch the
+stars. Ignorant readers are apt to praise everything by the lump in a
+writer of reputation. For my part, I read only to please myself. I like
+nothing but that which makes for my purpose."
+
+Candide, who had been brought up with a notion of never making use of
+his own judgment, was astonished at what he had heard; but Martin found
+there was a good deal of reason in the senator's remarks.
+
+"O! here is a Tully," said Candide: "this great man, I fancy, you are
+never tired of reading?"
+
+"Indeed, I never read him at all," replied Pococurante. "What is it to
+me whether he pleads for Rabirius or Cluentius? I try causes enough
+myself. I had once some liking for his philosophical works; but when I
+found he doubted of everything, I thought I knew as much as himself,
+_and had no need of a guide to learn ignorance_.
+
+"Ha!" cried Martin, "here are fourscore volumes of the _Memoirs of the
+Academy of Sciences_. Perhaps there may be something curious and
+valuable in this collection."
+
+"Yes," answered Pococurante, "so there might, if any one of these
+compilers of this rubbish had only invented the art of pin-making; but
+all these volumes are filled with mere chimerical systems, without one
+single article conducive to real utility."
+
+"I see a prodigious number of plays," said Candide, "in Italian,
+Spanish, and French."
+
+"Yes," replied the Venetian, "there are, I think, three thousand, and
+not three dozen of them good for anything. As to these huge volumes of
+divinity, and those enormous collections of sermons, they are not
+altogether worth one single page in Seneca; and I fancy you will readily
+believe that neither myself, nor any one else, ever looks into them."
+
+Martin, perceiving some shelves filled with English books, said to the
+senator:
+
+"I fancy that a republican must be highly delighted with those books,
+which are most of them written with a noble spirit of freedom."
+
+"It is noble to write as we think," said Pococurante; "it is the
+privilege of humanity. Throughout Italy we write only what we do not
+think; and the present inhabitants of the country of the Cæsars and
+Antoninuses dare not acquire a single idea without the permission of a
+father dominican. I should be enamoured of the spirit of the English
+nation, did it not utterly frustrate the good effects it would produce,
+by passion and the spirit of party."
+
+Candide, seeing a Milton, asked the senator if he did not think that
+author a great man?
+
+"Who?" said Pococurante, sharply; "that barbarian who writes a tedious
+commentary in ten books of rambling verse on the first chapter of
+Genesis? that slovenly imitator of the Greeks, who disfigures the
+creation by making the Messiah take a pair of compasses from heaven's
+armory to plan the world; whereas Moses represented the Deity as
+producing the whole universe by his fiat? Can I, think you, have any
+esteem for a writer who has spoiled Tasso's hell and the devil? who
+transforms Lucifer sometimes into a toad, and at others, into a pigmy?
+who makes him say the same thing over again an hundred times? who
+metamorphoses him into a school-divine? and who, by an absurdly serious
+imitation of Ariosto's comic invention of fire-arms, represents the
+devils and angels cannonading each other in heaven? Neither I nor any
+other Italian can possibly take pleasure in such melancholy reveries;
+but the marriage of sin and death, and snakes issuing from the womb of
+the former, are enough to make any person sick that is not lost to all
+sense of delicacy. This obscene, whimsical, and disagreeable poem, met
+with the neglect it deserved at its first publication; and I only treat
+the author now as he was treated in his own country by his
+contemporaries."
+
+Candide was sensibly grieved at this speech, as he had a great respect
+for Homer, and was very fond of Milton.
+
+"Alas!" said he softly to Martin, "I am afraid this man holds our German
+poets in great contempt."
+
+"There would be no such great harm in that," said Martin.
+
+"O, what a surprising man!" said Candide still to himself; "what a
+genius is this Pococurante! nothing can please him."
+
+After finishing their survey of the library, they went down into the
+garden, when Candide commended the several beauties that offered
+themselves to his view.
+
+"I know nothing upon earth laid out in such bad taste," said
+Pococurante; "everything about it is childish and trifling; but I shall
+soon have another laid out upon a nobler plan."
+
+"Well," said Candide to Martin, as soon as our two travelers had taken
+leave of his excellency: "I hope you will own, that this man is the
+happiest of all mortals, for he is above everything he possesses."
+
+"But do you not see," said Martin, "that he likewise dislikes everything
+he possesses? It was an observation of Plato, long since, that those are
+not the best stomachs that reject, without distinction, all sorts of
+aliments."
+
+"True," said Candide; "but still there must certainly be a pleasure in
+criticising everything, and in perceiving faults where others think they
+see beauties."
+
+"That is," replied Martin, "there is a pleasure in having no pleasure."
+
+[Illustration: The "yawning oysters" discovered by Pythagoras.]
+
+
+
+
+AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA.
+
+
+All the world knows that Pythagoras, while he resided in India, attended
+the school of the Gymnosophists, and learned the language of beasts and
+plants.[1] One day, while he was walking in a meadow near the seashore,
+he heard these words:
+
+"How unfortunate that I was born an herb! I scarcely attain two inches
+in height, when a voracious monster, an horrid animal, tramples me under
+his large feet; his jaws are armed with rows of sharp scythes, by which
+he cuts, then grinds, and then swallows me. Men call this monster a
+sheep. I do not suppose there is in the whole creation a more detestable
+creature."
+
+Pythagoras proceeded a little way and found an oyster yawning on a small
+rock. He had not yet adopted that admirable law, by which we are
+enjoined not to eat those animals which have a resemblance to us.[2] He
+had scarcely taken up the oyster to swallow it, when it spoke these
+affecting words:
+
+"O, Nature, how happy is the herb, which is, as I am, thy work! though
+it be cut down, it is regenerated and immortal; and we, poor oysters, in
+vain are defended by a double cuirass: villains eat us by dozens at
+their breakfast, and all is over with us forever. What an horrible fate
+is that of an oyster, and how barbarous are men!"
+
+Pythagoras shuddered; he felt the enormity of the crime he had nearly
+committed; he begged pardon of the oyster with tears in his eyes, and
+replaced it very carefully on the rock.
+
+As he was returning to the city, profoundly meditating on this
+adventure, he saw spiders devouring flies; swallows eating spiders, and
+sparrow-hawks eating swallows. "None of these," said he, "are
+philosophers."
+
+On his entrance, Pythagoras was stunned, bruised, and thrown down by a
+lot of tatterdemalions, who were running and crying: "Well done, he
+fully deserved it." "Who? What?" said Pythagoras, as he was getting up.
+The people continued running and crying: "O how delightful it will be to
+see them boiled!"
+
+Pythagoras supposed they meant lentiles, or some other vegetables: but
+he was in an error; they meant two poor Indians. "Oh!" said Pythagoras,
+"these Indians, without doubt, are two great philosophers weary of their
+lives, they are desirous of regenerating under other forms; it affords
+pleasure to a man to change his place of residence, though he may be but
+indifferently lodged: there is no disputing on taste."[3]
+
+He proceeded with the mob to the public square, where he perceived a
+lighted pile of wood, and a bench opposite to it, which was called a
+tribunal. On this bench judges were seated, each of whom had a cow's
+tail in his hand, and a cap on his head, with ears resembling those of
+the animal which bore Silenus when he came into that country with
+Bacchus, after having crossed the Erytrean sea without wetting a foot,
+and stopping the sun and moon; as it is recorded with great fidelity in
+the Orphicks.
+
+Among these judges there was an honest man with whom Pythagoras was
+acquainted. The Indian sage explained to the sage of Samos the nature of
+that festival to be given to the people of India.
+
+"These two Indians," said he, "have not the least desire to be committed
+to the flames. My grave brethren have adjudged them to be burnt; one for
+saying, that the substance of Xaca is not that of Brahma; and the other
+for supposing, that the approbation of the Supreme Being was to be
+obtained at the point of death without holding a cow by the tail;
+'Because,' said he, 'we may be virtuous at all times, and we cannot
+always have a cow to lay hold of just when we may have occasion.' The
+good women of the city were greatly terrified at two such heretical
+opinions; they would not allow the judges a moment's peace until they
+had ordered the execution of those unfortunate men."
+
+Pythagoras was convinced that from the herb up to man, there were many
+causes of chagrin. However, he obliged the judges and even the devotees
+to listen to reason, which happened only at that time.
+
+He went afterwards and preached toleration at Crotona; but a bigot set
+fire to his house, and he was burnt--the man who had delivered the two
+Hindoos from the flames? Let those save themselves who can![4]
+
+
+[1] Perhaps it would be impossible at the present day to convince
+scientists that oysters formerly conversed intelligibly with mankind and
+protested eloquently against human injustice; but all men are not
+scientists, and there are many worthy people who still have implicit
+faith in ancient Semitic records--who firmly believe in miracles and
+prodigies--and who would consider it rank heresy to doubt that the
+serpent, though now as mute as an oyster, formerly held a very animated
+conversation, in the original Edenic language, with the inexperienced
+and confiding female who then graced with her charming presence the
+bowers of Paradise; and this sacred narrative of the "maiden and the
+reptile" is quite as repugnant to modern science as the sentimental fish
+story of "Pythagoras and the oyster".
+
+As a matter of fact, the doctrine of the metempsichosis, as taught by
+the Samian sage, was formerly held in great repute by the most civilized
+nations of antiquity, and it is surely as easy to credit the assertion
+of our author, that the ancient Gymnosophists "had learned the language
+of beasts and plants" as to believe the unquestioned and orthodox
+statement that a certain quadruped, (_Asinus vulgaris_,) --whose
+romantic history is recorded in the twenty-second chapter of
+Numbers,--was once upon a time able to converse in very good Hebrew with
+Monsieur Balaam, an ancient prophet of great merit and renown.--E.
+
+[2] The resemblance of oysters to mankind, here implied, can only be
+apparent to the "eye of faith," and lovers of these delicious bivalves
+will fail to recognize the family likeness.--E.
+
+[3] Pythagoras was born at Samos, about 590 years before the Christian
+era. He received an education well calculated to enlighten his mind and
+invigorate his body. He studied poetry, music, eloquence and astronomy,
+and became so proficient in gymnastic exercises, that in his eighteenth
+year he won the prize for wrestling at the Olympic games. He then
+visited Egypt and Chaldea, and gaining the confidence of the priests,
+learned from them the artful policy by which they governed the people.
+On his return to Samos he was saluted by the name of _Sophist_, or wise
+man, but he declined the name, and was satisfied with that of
+philosopher, or the _friend of wisdom_. He ultimately fixed his
+residence in Magna Græcia, in the town of Crotona, where he founded the
+school called _the Italian_.
+
+This school became very prosperous, and hundreds of pupils received the
+_secret instructions_ of Pythagoras, who taught by the use of ciphers or
+numbers, and hieroglyphic writings. His pupils were thus enabled to
+correspond together in unknown characters; and, by the signs and words
+employed, they could discover among strangers those who had been
+educated in the Pythagorean school. All the pupils of the philosopher
+greatly reverenced their teacher, and deemed it a crime to dispute his
+word. One of their expressions "_thus saith the Master_," has been
+adopted by modern sects.
+
+The Samian sage taught the doctrine of the metempsichosis, or the
+transmigration of the soul into different bodies, which he had probably
+learned from the Brahmins; who believed that, in these various
+peregrinations, the soul or thinking principle was purged from all evil,
+and was ultimately absorbed into the Divine substance from which it was
+supposed to have emanated.
+
+Godfrey Higgins in the _Anacalypsis_ cites authorities to prove that the
+doctrine of the metempsichosis was held by "many of the early fathers of
+the Christians, which they defended on several texts of the New
+Testament. It was held by Origin, Calcidius, Synesius, and by the
+Simonians, Basilidians, Valentiniens, Marcionites, and the Gnostics in
+general. It was also held by the Pharisees among the Jews, and by the
+most learned of the Greeks, and by many Chinese, Hindoos and Indians.
+
+"When all the circumstances relating to Pythagoras and to his doctrines,
+both in moral and natural philosophy, are considered," continues
+Higgins, "nothing can be more striking than the exact conformity of the
+latter to the received opinions of the moderns, and of the former to the
+moral doctrines of Jesus Christ."
+
+"The pupils of Pythagoras," says Eschenburg, _Manual of Classical
+Literature_, "soon amounted to 600, dwelt in one public building, and
+held their property in common. Under philosophy, the Italic school
+included every object of human knowledge. But Pythagoras considered
+music and astronomy of special value. He is supposed to have had some
+very correct views of astronomy, agreeing with the true Copernican
+system. The beautiful fancy of the music of the spheres is attributed to
+him. The planets striking on the ether, through which they pass, must
+produce a sound; this must vary according to their different magnitudes,
+velocities, and relative distances; these differences were all adjusted
+with perfect regularity and exact proportions, so that the movements of
+the bodies produced the richest tones of harmony; not heard, however, by
+mortal ears."
+
+Pythagoras taught, and his followers maintained, the absolute equality
+of property, "all their worldly possessions being brought into a common
+store". The early Christians had also "all things in common," and the
+doctrines of Jesus and Pythagoras have many points of resemblance. Both
+were reformers, both sought to benefit the poor and the oppressed, both
+taught and practised the doctrines now known as Communism, and both, for
+their love to the human race, suffered a cruel martyrdom from an
+orthodox and vindictive priesthood.
+
+In obedience to an oracle, the Romans, long after the death of
+Pythagoras, erected a statue to his memory as the wisest of mankind.--E.
+
+[4] Godfrey Higgins in the _Anacalypsis_ draws aside the veil of Isis,
+and explains in a satisfactory manner the reason why Pythagoras, like
+Socrates and Jesus, was condemned to death by the established
+priesthood. Each of these great reformers had been initiated into the
+_sacred mysteries_, and each taught his followers by secret symbols or
+parables that contained a hidden meaning; so "that seeing the
+_uninitiated_ might see and not perceive, and hearing might hear and not
+understand." The reason that Jesus gave for following this method was
+"because it is given unto you (_i.e._ the initiated) to know the
+mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them (_i.e._ the people) it
+is not given." (Matt. XIII: II.) The mass of mankind, being excluded
+from this secret knowledge, were kept in a state of debasement as
+compared with the favored few who were acquainted with the jealously
+guarded secrets of the Cabala; and the earnest desire of these great
+reformers--of these noble men who cheerfully gave their lives to benefit
+their race--was, without divulging the secrets of their initiation, to
+teach mankind to partake of the forbidden fruit of the tree of
+knowledge, and to learn "that a virtuous life would secure eternal
+happiness." Such philanthropic doctrines were denounced as wicked and
+heretical by the orthodox priesthood, who instinctively oppose human
+progress, and who, like the silversmith of Ephesus, described by St.
+Paul, felt that "this our craft is in danger" should the people become
+enlightened. They therefore, excited a popular clamor, and aroused the
+worst passions and prejudices of their followers; who, inspired with
+fanatic zeal, cruelly and wickedly burned Pythagoras of Crotona,
+poisoned Socrates of Athens, and crucified Jesus of Nazareth.--E.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: The school at Issoire.]
+
+
+
+JEANNOT AND COLIN.
+
+
+Many persons, worthy of credit, have seen Jeannot and Colin at school in
+the town of Issoire, in Auvergne, France,--a town famous all over the
+world for its college and its caldrons.
+
+Jeannot was the son of a dealer in mules of great reputation; and Colin
+owed his birth to a good substantial farmer in the neighborhood, who
+cultivated the land with four mules; and who, after he had paid all
+taxes and duties at the rate of a sol per pound, was not very rich at
+the year's end.
+
+Jeannot and Colin were very handsome, considering they were natives of
+Auvergne; they dearly loved each other. They had many enjoyments in
+common, and certain little adventures of such a nature as men always
+recollect with pleasure when they afterwards meet in the world.
+
+Their studies were nearly finished, when a tailor brought Jeannot a
+velvet suit of three colors, with a waistcoat from Lyons, which was
+extremely well fancied. With these came a letter addressed to Monsieur
+de la Jeannotière.
+
+Colin admired the coat, and was not at all jealous; but Jeannot assumed
+an air of superiority, which gave Colin some uneasiness. From that
+moment Jeannot abandoned his studies; he contemplated himself in a
+glass, and despised all mankind.
+
+Soon after, a valet-de-chambre arrived post-haste, and brought a second
+letter to the Marquis de la Jeannotière; it was an order from his
+father, who desired the young marquis to repair immediately to Paris.
+Jeannot got into his chaise, giving his hand to Colin with a smile,
+which denoted the superiority of a patron. Colin felt his littleness,
+and wept. Jeannot departed in all the pomp of his glory.
+
+Such readers as take a pleasure in being instructed should be informed
+that Monsieur Jeannot the father, had, with great rapidity, acquired an
+immense fortune by business. You will ask how such great fortunes are
+made? My answer is, by luck. Monsieur Jeannot had a good person, so had
+his wife; and she had still some freshness remaining. They went to Paris
+on account of a law-suit, which ruined them; when fortune, which raises
+and depresses men at her pleasure, presented them to the wife of an
+undertaker belonging to one of the hospitals for the army. This
+undertaker, a man of great talents, might make it his boast, that he had
+buried more soldiers in a year than cannons destroy in ten. Jeannot
+pleased the wife; the wife of Jeannot interested the undertaker. Jeannot
+was employed in the undertaker's business; this introduced him to other
+business. When our boat runs with wind and stream, we have nothing to do
+but let it sail on. We then make an immense fortune with ease. The poor
+creatures who from the shore see you pursue your voyage with full sail,
+stare with astonishment; they cannot conceive to what you owe your
+success; they envy you instinctively, and write pamphlets against you
+which you never read.
+
+This is just what happened to Jeannot the father, who soon became
+Monsieur de la Jeannotière; and who having purchased a marquisate in six
+months time, took the young marquis, his son, from school, in order to
+introduce him to the polite world at Paris.
+
+Colin, whose heart was replete with tenderness, wrote a letter of
+compliments to his old companion, and congratulated him on his good
+fortune. The little marquis did not reply. Colin was so much affected at
+this neglect that he was taken ill.
+
+The father and mother immediately consigned the young marquis to the
+care of a governor. This governor, who was a man of fashion, and who
+knew nothing, was not able to teach his pupil anything.
+
+The marquis would have had his son learn Latin; this his lady opposed.
+They then referred the matter to the judgment of an author, who had at
+that time acquired great reputation by his entertaining writings. This
+author was invited to dinner. The master of the house immediately
+addressed him thus:
+
+"Sir, as you understand Latin, and are a man acquainted with the
+court,--"
+
+"I understand Latin! I don't know one word of it," answered the wit,
+"and I think myself the better for being unacquainted with it. It is
+very evident that a man speaks his own language in greater perfection
+when he does not divide his application between it and foreign
+languages. Only consider our ladies; they have a much more agreeable
+turn of wit than the men, their letters are written with a hundred times
+the grace of ours. This superiority they owe to nothing else but their
+not understanding Latin."
+
+"Well, was I not in the right?" said the lady. "I would have my son
+prove a notable man, I would have him succeed in the world; and you see
+that if he was to understand Latin he would be ruined. Pray, are plays
+and operas performed in Latin? Do lawyers plead in Latin? Do men court a
+mistress in Latin?"
+
+The marquis, dazzled by these reasons, gave up the point, and it was
+resolved, that the young marquis should not misspend his time in
+endeavoring to become acquainted with Cicero, Horace and Virgil.
+
+"Then," said the father, "what shall he learn? For he must know
+something. Might not one teach him a little geography?"
+
+"Of what use will that be?" answered the governor. "When the marquis
+goes to his estate, won't the postillion know the roads? They certainly
+will not carry him out of his way. There is no occasion for a quadrant
+to travel thither; and one can go very commodiously from Paris to
+Auvergne without knowing what latitude one is in."
+
+"You are in the right," replied the father; "but I have heard of a
+science, called astronomy, if I am not mistaken."
+
+"Bless me!" said the governor, "do people regulate their conduct by the
+influence of the stars in this world? And must the young gentleman
+perplex himself with the calculation of an eclipse, when he finds it
+ready calculated to his hand in an almanac, which, at the same time,
+shows him the movable feasts, the age of the moon, and also that of all
+the princesses in Europe?"
+
+The lady agreed perfectly with the governor; the little marquis was
+transported with joy; the father remained undetermined. "What then is my
+son to learn?" said he.
+
+"To become amiable," answered the friend who was consulted, "and if he
+knows how to please, he will know all that need be known. This art he
+will learn in the company of his mother, without either he or she being
+at any trouble."
+
+The lady, upon hearing this, embraced the ignorant flatterer, and said:
+"It is easy to see, sir, that you are the wisest man in the world. My
+son will be entirely indebted to you for his education. I think,
+however, it would not be amiss if he was to know something of history."
+
+"Alas, madam, what is that good for," answered he; "there certainly is
+no useful or entertaining history but the history of the day; all
+ancient histories, as one of our wits has observed, are only fables that
+men have agreed to admit as true. With regard to modern history, it is a
+mere chaos, a confusion which it is impossible to make anything of. Of
+what consequence is it to the young marquis, your son, to know that
+Charlemagne instituted the twelve peers of France, and that his
+successor stammered?"
+
+"Admirably said," cried the governor; "the genius of young persons is
+smothered under a heap of useless knowledge; but of all sciences, the
+most absurd, and that which, in my opinion, is most calculated to stifle
+genius of every kind, is geometry. The objects about which this
+ridiculous science is conversant, are surfaces, lines, and points, that
+have no existence in nature. By the force of imagination, the
+geometrician makes a hundred thousand curved lines pass between a circle
+and a right line that touches it, when, in reality, there is not room
+for a straw to pass there. Geometry, if we consider it in its true
+light, is a mere jest, and nothing more."
+
+The marquis and his lady did not well understand the governor's meaning,
+yet they were entirely of his opinion.
+
+"A man of quality, like the young marquis," continued he, "should not
+rack his brains with useless sciences. If he should ever have occasion
+for a plan of the lands of his estate, he may have them correctly
+surveyed without studying geometry. If he has a mind to trace the
+antiquity of his noble family, which leads the inquirer back to the most
+remote ages, he will send for a Benedictine. It will be the same thing
+with regard to all other wants. A young man of quality, endowed with a
+happy genius, is neither a painter, a musician, an architect, nor a
+graver; but he makes all these arts flourish by generously encouraging
+them. It is, doubtless, better to patronize than to practice them. It is
+enough for the young marquis to have a taste; it is the business of
+artists to exert themselves for him; and it is in this sense that it is
+said very justly of people of quality, (I mean those who are very rich),
+that they know all things without having learnt anything; for they, in
+fact, come at last to know how to judge concerning whatever they order
+or pay for."
+
+The ignorant man of fashion then spoke to this purpose:
+
+"You have very justly observed, madam, that the grand end which a man
+should have in view is to succeed in the world. Can it possibly be said
+that this success is to be obtained by cultivating the sciences? Did
+anybody ever so much as think of talking of geometry in good company?
+Does anyone ever inquire of a man of the world, what star rises with the
+sun? Who enquires at supper, whether the long-haired Clodio passed the
+Rhine?"
+
+"No, doubtless," cried the marchioness, whom her charms had in some
+measure initiated into the customs of the polite world; "and my son
+should not extinguish his genius by the study of all this stuff. But
+what is he, after all, to learn? for it is proper that a young person of
+quality should know how to shine upon an occasion, as my husband
+observes. I remember to have heard an abbé say, that the most delightful
+of all the sciences, is something that begins with a _B_."
+
+"With a B, madam? Is it not botany you mean?"
+
+"No, it was not botany he spoke of; the name of the science he mentioned
+began with _B_, and ended with _on_."
+
+"Oh, I comprehend you, madam," said the man of fashion; "it is _Blason_
+you mean. It is indeed a profound science; but it is no longer in
+fashion, since the people of quality have ceased to cause their arms to
+be painted upon the doors of their coaches. It was once the most useful
+thing in the world, in a well regulated state. Besides, this study would
+be endless. Now-a-days there is hardly a barber that has not his coat of
+arms; and you know that whatever becomes common is but little esteemed."
+
+In fine, after they had examined the excellencies and defects of all the
+sciences, it was determined that the young marquis should learn to
+dance.
+
+Nature, which does all, had given him a talent that quickly displayed
+itself surprisingly; it was that of singing ballads agreeably. The
+graces of youth, joined to this superior gift, caused him to be looked
+upon as a young man of the brightest hopes. He was admired by the women;
+and having his head full of songs, he composed some for his mistress. He
+stole from the song "_Bacchus and Love_" in one ballad; from that of
+"_Night and Day_" in another; from that of "_Charms and Alarms_" in a
+third. But as there were always in his verses some superfluous feet, or
+not enough, he had them corrected for twenty louis-d'ors a song; and in
+the annals of literature he was put upon a level with the La Fares,
+Chaulieus, Hamiltons, Sarrazins, and Voitures.
+
+The marchioness then looked upon herself as the mother of a wit, and
+gave a supper to the wits of Paris. The young man's brain was soon
+turned; he acquired the art of speaking without knowing his own meaning,
+and he became perfect in the habit of being good for nothing. When his
+father found he was so eloquent, he very much regretted that his son had
+not learned Latin; for he would have bought him a lucrative place among
+the gentry of the long robe. The mother, who had more elevated
+sentiments, undertook to procure a regiment for her son; and in the
+meantime, courtship was his occupation. Love is sometimes more expensive
+than a regiment. He was very improvident, whilst his parents exhausted
+their finances still more, by expensive living.
+
+A young widow of fashion, their neighbor, who had but a moderate
+fortune, had an inclination to secure the great wealth of Monsieur and
+Madame de la Jeannotière, and appropriating it to herself, by a marriage
+with the young marquis. She allured him to visit her; she admitted his
+addresses; she showed that she was not indifferent to him; she led him
+on by degrees; she enchanted and captivated him without much difficulty.
+Sometimes she lavished praises upon him, sometimes she gave him advice.
+She became the most intimate friend of both the father and mother.
+
+An elderly lady, who was their neighbor, proposed the match. The
+parents, dazzled by the glory of such an alliance, accepted the proposal
+with joy. They gave their only son to their intimate friend.
+
+The young marquis was now on the point of marrying a woman whom he
+adored, and by whom he was beloved; the friends of the family
+congratulated them; the marriage articles were just going to be drawn
+up, whilst wedding clothes were being made for the young couple, and
+their epithalamium composed.
+
+The young marquis was one day upon his knees before his charming
+mistress, whom love, esteem, and friendship were going to make all his
+own. In a tender and spirited conversation, they enjoyed a foretaste of
+their coming happiness, they concerted measures to lead a happy life.
+When all on a sudden a valet-de-chambre belonging to the old
+marchioness, arrived in a great fright.
+
+"Here is sad news," said he, "officers have removed the effects of my
+master and mistress; the creditors have seized upon all by virtue of an
+execution; and I am obliged to make the best shift I can to have my
+wages paid."
+
+"Let's see," said the marquis, "what is this? What can this adventure
+mean?"
+
+"Go," said the widow, "go quickly, and punish those villains."
+
+He runs, he arrives at the house; his father is already in prison; all
+the servants have fled in different ways, each carrying off whatever he
+could lay his hands upon. His mother is alone, without assistance,
+without comfort, drowned in tears. She has nothing left but the
+remembrance of her fortune, of her beauty, her faults, and her
+extravagant living.
+
+After the son had wept a long time with his mother, he at length said to
+her:
+
+"Let us not give ourselves up to despair. This young widow loves me to
+excess; she is more generous than rich, I can answer for her; I will go
+and bring her to you."
+
+He returns to his mistress, and finds her in company with a very amiable
+young officer.
+
+"What, is it you, M. de la Jeannotière," said she; "what brings you
+here? Is it proper to forsake your unhappy mother in such a crisis? Go
+to that poor, unfortunate woman, and tell her that I still wish her
+well. I have occasion for a chamber-maid, and will give her the
+preference."
+
+"My lad," said the officer, "you are well shaped. Enlist in my company;
+you may depend on good usage."
+
+The marquis, thunderstruck, and with a heart enraged, went in quest of
+his old governor, made him acquainted with his misfortune, and asked his
+advice. The governor proposed that he should become a tutor, like
+himself.
+
+"Alas!" said the marquis, "I know nothing; you have taught me nothing,
+and you are the first cause of my misfortunes." He sobbed when he spoke
+thus.
+
+"Write romances," said a wit who was present; "it is an admirable
+resource at Paris."
+
+The young man, in greater despair than ever, ran to his mother's
+confessor. This confessor was a Theatin of great reputation, who
+directed the consciences only of women of the first rank. As soon as he
+saw Jeannot, he ran up to him:
+
+"My God, Mr. Marquis," said he, "where is your coach? How is the good
+lady your mother?"
+
+The poor unfortunate young man gave him an account of what had befallen
+his family. In proportion as he explained himself the Theatin assumed an
+air more grave, more indifferent, and more defiant.
+
+"My son," said he, "it is the will of God that you should be reduced to
+this condition; riches serve only to corrupt the heart. God, in his
+great mercy, has then reduced your mother to beggary?"
+
+[Illustration: Jeannot and Colin.]
+
+"Yes, sir," answered the marquis.
+
+"So much the better," said the confessor, "her election is the more
+certain."
+
+"But father," said the marquis, "is there in the mean time no hopes of
+some assistance in this world?"
+
+"Farewell, my son," said the confessor; "a court lady is waiting for
+me."
+
+The marquis was almost ready to faint. He met with much the same
+treatment from all; and acquired more knowledge of the world in half a
+day than he had previously learned in all the rest of his life.
+
+Being quite overwhelmed with despair, he saw an old-fashioned chaise
+advance, which resembled an open wagon with leather curtains; it was
+followed by four enormous carts which were loaded. In the chaise there
+was a young man, dressed in the rustic manner, whose fresh countenance
+was replete with sweetness and gaiety. His wife, a little woman of a
+brown complexion and an agreeable figure, though somewhat stout, sat
+close by him. As the carriage did not move on like the chaise of a
+petit-maître, the traveler had sufficient time to contemplate the
+marquis, who was motionless and immersed in sorrow.
+
+"Good God," cried he, "I think that is Jeannot." Upon hearing this name,
+the marquis lifts up his eyes, the carriage stops, and Colin cries out,
+"'Tis Jeannot, 'tis Jeannot himself."
+
+The little fat bumpkin gave but one spring from the chaise and ran to
+embrace his old companion. Jeannot recollected his friend Colin, while
+his eyes were blinded with tears of shame.
+
+"You have abandoned me," said Colin; "but, though you are a great man, I
+will love you forever."
+
+Jeannot, confused and affected, related to him with emotion a great part
+of his history.
+
+"Come to the inn where I lodge, and tell me the rest of it," said Colin;
+"embrace my wife here, and let us go and dine together." They then went
+on foot, followed by their baggage.
+
+"What is all this train," said Jeannot; "is it yours?"
+
+"Yes," answered Colin, "it all belongs to me and to my wife. We have
+just come in from the country. I am now at the head of a large
+manufactory of tin and copper. I have married the daughter of a merchant
+well provided with all things necessary for the great as well as the
+little. We work a great deal; God blesses us; we have not changed our
+condition; we are happy; we will assist our friend Jeannot. Be no longer
+a marquis; all the grandeur in the world is not to be compared to a good
+friend. You shall return with me to the country. I will teach you the
+trade; it is not very difficult; I will make you my partner, and we will
+live merrily in the remote corner where we were born."
+
+Jeannot, quite transported, felt emotions of grief and joy, tenderness
+and shame; and he said within himself: "My fashionable friends have
+betrayed me, and Colin, whom I despised, is the only one who comes to
+relieve me." What instruction does not this narrative afford!
+
+Colin's goodness of heart caused the seeds of a virtuous disposition,
+which the world had not quite stifled in Jeannot, to revive. He was
+sensible that he could not forsake his father and mother.
+
+"We will take care of your mother," said Colin; "and as to the good man
+your father, who is now in jail, his creditors, seeing he has nothing,
+will compromise matters for a trifle. I know something of business, and
+will take the whole affair upon myself."
+
+Colin found means to procure the father's enlargement. Jeannot returned
+to the country with his relatives, who resumed their former way of life.
+He married a sister of Colin, and she, being of the same temper with her
+brother, made him completely happy.
+
+Jeannot the father, Jeannote the mother, and Jeannot the son, were thus
+convinced that happiness is not the result of vanity.
+
+[Illustration: Religious emblems.]
+
+
+
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE TRAVELS OF SCARMENTADO.[1]
+
+
+I was born in Candia, in the year 1600. My father was governor of the
+city; and I remember that a poet of middling parts, and of a most
+unmusical ear, whose name was Iro, composed some verses in my praise, in
+which he made me to descend from Minos in a direct line; but my father
+being afterwards disgraced, he wrote some other verses, in which he
+derived my pedigree from no nobler an origin than the amours of Pasiphæ
+and her gallant. This Iro was a most mischievous rogue, and one of the
+most troublesome fellows in the island.
+
+My father sent me at fifteen years of age to prosecute my studies at
+Rome. There I arrived in full hopes of learning all kinds of truth; for
+I had hitherto been taught quite the reverse, according to the custom of
+this lower world from China to the Alps. Monsignor Profondo, to whom I
+was recommended, was a man of a very singular character, and one of the
+most terrible scholars in the world. He was for teaching me the
+categories of Aristotle; and was just on the point of placing me in the
+category of his minions; a fate which I narrowly escaped. I saw
+processions, exorcisms, and some robberies.
+
+It was commonly said, but without any foundation, that la Signora
+Olympia, a lady of great prudence, had deceived many lovers, she being
+both inconstant and mercenary. I was then of an age to relish such
+comical anecdotes.
+
+A young lady of great sweetness of temper, called la Signora Fatelo,
+thought proper to fall in love with me. She was courted by the reverend
+father Poignardini, and by the reverend father Aconiti,[2] young monks
+of an order now extinct; and she reconciled the two rivals by declaring
+her preference for me; but at the same time I ran the risk of being
+excommunicated and poisoned. I left Rome highly pleased with the
+architecture of St. Peter.
+
+I traveled to France. It was during the reign of Louis the Just. The
+first question put to me was, whether I chose to breakfast on a slice of
+the Marshal D'Ancre,[3] whose flesh the people had roasted and
+distributed with great liberality to such as chose to taste it.
+
+This kingdom was continually involved in civil wars, sometimes for a
+place at court, sometimes for two pages of theological controversy. This
+fire, which one while lay concealed under the ashes, and at another
+burst forth with great violence, had desolated these beautiful provinces
+for upwards of sixty years. The pretext was, defending the liberties of
+the Gallican church. "Alas!" said I, "these people are nevertheless born
+with a gentle disposition. What can have drawn them so far from their
+natural character? They joke and keep holy days.[4] Happy the time when
+they shall do nothing but joke!"
+
+I went over to England, where the same disputes occasioned the same
+barbarities. Some pious Catholics had resolved, for the good of the
+church, to blow up into the air with gunpowder the king, the royal
+family, and the whole parliament, and thus to deliver England from all
+these heretics at once. They showed me the place where Queen Mary of
+blessed memory, the daughter of Henry VIII., had caused more than five
+hundred, of her subjects to be burnt. An Irish priest assured me that it
+was a very good action; first, because those who were burnt were
+Englishmen; and secondly, because they did not make use of holy water,
+nor believe in St. Patrick. He was greatly surprised that Queen Mary was
+not yet canonized; but he hoped she would receive that honor as soon as
+the cardinal should be a little more at leisure.
+
+From thence I went to Holland, where I hoped to find more tranquillity
+among a people of a more cold and phlegmatic temperament. Just as I
+arrived at the Hague, the people were cutting off the head of a
+venerable old man. It was the bald head of the prime minister Barnevelt;
+a man who deserved better treatment from the republic. Touched with pity
+at this affecting scene, I asked what was his crime, and whether he had
+betrayed the state.
+
+"He has done much worse," replied a preacher in a black cloak; "he
+believed that men may be saved by good works as well as by faith. You
+must be sensible," adds he, "that if such opinions were to gain ground,
+a republic could not subsist; and that there must be severe laws to
+suppress such scandalous and horrid blasphemies."
+
+A profound politician said to me with a sigh: "Alas! sir, this happy
+time will not last long; it is only by chance that the people are so
+zealous. They are naturally inclined to the abominable doctrine of
+toleration, and they will certainly at last grant it." This reflection
+set him a groaning. For my own part, in expectation of that fatal period
+when moderation and indulgence should take place, I instantly quitted a
+country where severity was not softened by any lenitive, and embarked
+for Spain.
+
+The court was then at Seville, the galleons had just arrived; and
+everything breathed plenty and gladness, in the most beautiful season of
+the year. I observed at the end of an alley of orange and citron trees,
+a kind of large ring, surrounded with steps covered with rich and costly
+cloth. The king, the queen, the infants, and the infantas, were seated
+under a superb canopy. Opposite to the royal family was another throne,
+raised higher than that on which his majesty sat. I said to a
+fellow-traveler: "Unless this throne be reserved for God, I don't see
+what purpose it can serve."
+
+This unguarded expression was overheard by a grave Spaniard, and cost me
+dear. Meanwhile, I imagined we were going to a carousal, or a match of
+bull-baiting, when the grand inquisitor appeared in that elevated
+throne, from whence he blessed the king and the people.
+
+Then came an army of monks, who led off in pairs, white, black, grey,
+shod, unshod, bearded, beardless, with pointed cowls, and without cowls.
+Next followed the hangman; and last of all were seen, in the midst of
+the guards and grandees, about forty persons clad in sackcloth, on which
+were painted the figures of flames and devils. Some of these were Jews,
+who could not be prevailed upon to renounce Moses entirely; others were
+Christians, who had married women with whom they had stood sponsors to a
+child; who had not adored our Lady of Atocha; or who had refused to part
+with their ready money in favor of the Hieronymite brothers. Some pretty
+prayers were sung with much devotion, and then the criminals were burnt
+at a slow fire; a ceremony with which the royal family seemed to be
+greatly edified.
+
+As I was going to bed in the evening, two members of the inquisition
+came to my lodging with a figure of St. Hermandad. They embraced me with
+great tenderness, and conducted me in solemn silence to a well-aired
+prison, furnished with a bed of mat, and a beautiful crucifix. There I
+remained for six weeks; at the end of which time the reverend father,
+the Inquisitor, sent for me. He pressed me in his arms for some time
+with the most paternal affection, and told me that he was sorry to hear
+that I had been so ill lodged; but that all the apartments of the house
+were full, and hoped I should be better accommodated the next time. He
+then asked me with great cordiality if I knew for what reason I was
+imprisoned.
+
+I told the reverend father that it was evidently for my sins.
+
+"Very well," said he, "my dear child; but for what particular sin? Speak
+freely."
+
+I racked my brain with conjectures, but could not possibly guess. He
+then charitably dismissed me. At last I remembered my unguarded
+expression. I escaped with a little bodily correction, and a fine of
+thirty thousand reals. I was led to make my obeisance to the grand
+Inquisitor, who was a man of great politeness. He asked me how I liked
+his little feast. I told him it was a most delicious one; and then went
+to press my companions to quit the country, beautiful as it was.
+
+They had, during my imprisonment, found time to inform themselves of all
+the great things which the Spaniards had done for the interest of
+religion. They had read the memoirs of the famous bishop of Chiapa, by
+which it appears that they had massacred, or burnt, or drowned, about
+ten millions of infidels in America, in order to convert them. I believe
+the accounts of the bishop are a little exaggerated; but suppose we
+reduce the number of victims to five millions, it will still be a most
+glorious achievement.
+
+The impulse for traveling still possessed me. I had proposed to finish
+the tour of Europe with Turkey, and thither we now directed our course.
+I made a firm resolution not to give my opinion of any public feasts I
+might see in the future. "These Turks," said I to my companions, "are a
+set of miscreants that have not been baptized, and therefore will be
+more cruel than the reverend fathers the inquisitors. Let us observe a
+profound silence while we are among the Mahometans." When we arrived
+there, I was greatly surprised to see more Christian churches in Turkey
+than in Candia. I saw also numerous troops of monks, who were allowed to
+pray to the virgin Mary with great freedom, and to curse Mahomet--some
+in Greek, some in Latin, and others in Armenian. "What good-natured
+people are these Turks," cried I.
+
+The Greek christians, and the Latin christians in Constantinople were
+mortal enemies. These sectarians persecuted each other in much the same
+manner as dogs fight in the streets, till their masters part them with a
+cudgel.
+
+The grand vizier was at that time the protector of the Greeks. The Greek
+patriarch accused me of having supped with the Latin patriarch; and I
+was condemned in full divan to receive an hundred blows on the soles of
+my feet, redeemable for five hundred sequins. Next day the grand vizier
+was strangled. The day following his successor, who was for the Latin
+party, and who was not strangled till a month after, condemned me to
+suffer the same punishment, for having supped with the Greek patriarch.
+Thus was I reduced to the sad necessity of absenting myself entirely
+from the Greek and Latin churches.
+
+In order to console myself for this loss, I frequently visited a very
+handsome Circassian. She was the most entertaining lady I ever knew in a
+private conversation, and the most devout at the mosque. One evening she
+received me with tenderness and sweetly cried, "Alla, Illa, Alla."
+
+These are the sacramental words of the Turks. I imagined they were the
+expressions of love, and therefore cried in my turn, and with a very
+tender accent, "Alla, Illa, Alla."
+
+"Ah!" said she, "God be praised, thou art then a Turk?"
+
+I told her that I was blessing God for having given me so much
+enjoyment, and that I thought myself extremely happy.
+
+In the morning the inman came to enroll me among the circumcised, and as
+I made some objection to the initiation, the cadi of that district, a
+man of great loyalty, proposed to have me impaled. I preserved my
+freedom by paying a thousand sequins, and then fled directly into
+Persia, resolved for the future never to hear Greek or Latin mass, nor
+to cry "Alla, Illa, Alla," in a love encounter.
+
+On my arrival at Ispahan, the people asked me whether I was for white or
+black mutton? I told them that it was a matter of indifference to me,
+provided it was tender. It must be observed that the Persian empire was
+at that time split into two factions, that of the white mutton and that
+of the black. The two parties imagined that I had made a jest of them
+both; so that I found myself engaged in a very troublesome affair at the
+gates of the city, and it cost me a great number of sequins to get rid
+of the white and the black mutton.
+
+I proceeded as far as China, in company with an interpreter, who assured
+me that this country was the seat of gaiety and freedom. The Tartars had
+made themselves masters of it, after having destroyed everything with
+fire and sword.
+
+The reverend fathers, the Jesuits, on the one hand, and the reverend
+fathers, the Dominicans, on the other, alleged that they had gained many
+souls to God in that country, without any one knowing aught of the
+matter. Never were seen such zealous converters. They alternately
+persecuted one another; they transmitted to Rome whole volumes of
+slander; and treated each other as infidels and prevaricators for the
+sake of one soul. But the most violent dispute between them was with
+regard to the manner of making a bow. The Jesuits would have the
+Chinese to salute their parents after the fashion of China, and the
+Dominicans would have them to do it after the fashion of Rome.
+
+I happened unluckily to be taken by the Jesuits for a Dominican. They
+represented me to his Tartarian majesty as a spy of the pope. The
+supreme council charged a prime mandarin, who ordered a sergeant, who
+commanded four shires of the country, to seize me and bind me with great
+ceremony. In this manner I was conducted before his majesty, after
+having made about an hundred and forty genuflections. He asked me if I
+was a spy of the pope's, and if it was true that that prince was to come
+in person to dethrone him. I told him that the pope was a priest of
+seventy years of age; that he lived at the distance of four thousand
+leagues from his sacred Tartaro-Chinese majesty; that he had about two
+thousand soldiers, who mounted guard with umbrellas; that he never
+dethroned anybody; and that his majesty might sleep in perfect security.
+
+Of all the adventures of my life this was the least fatal. I was sent to
+Macao, and there I took shipping for Europe.
+
+My ship required to be refitted on the coast of Golconda. I embraced
+this opportunity to visit the court of the great Aureng-Zeb, of whom
+such wonderful things have been told, and which was then in Delphi. I
+had the pleasure to see him on the day of that pompous ceremony in which
+he receives the celestial present sent him by the Sherif of Mecca. This
+was the besom with which they had swept the holy house, the Caaba, and
+the Beth Alla. It is a symbol that sweeps away all the pollutions of the
+soul.
+
+Aureng-Zeb seemed to have no need of it. He was the most pious man in
+all Indostan. It is true, he had cut the throat of one of his brothers,
+and poisoned his father. Twenty Rayas, and as many Omras, had been put
+to death; but that was a trifle. Nothing was talked of but his devotion.
+No king was thought comparable to him, except his sacred majesty Muley
+Ismael, the most serene emperor of Morocco, who always cut off some
+heads every Friday after prayers.
+
+I spoke not a word. My travels had taught me wisdom. I was sensible that
+it did not belong to me to decide between these august sovereigns. A
+young Frenchman, a fellow-lodger of mine, was, however, greatly wanting
+in respect to both the emperor of the Indies and to that of Morocco. He
+happened to say very imprudently, that there were sovereigns in Europe
+who governed their dominions with great equity, and even went to church
+without killing their fathers or brothers, or cutting off the heads of
+their subjects.
+
+This indiscreet discourse of my young friend, the interpreter at once
+translated. Instructed by former experience, I instantly caused my
+camels to be saddled, and set out with my Frenchman. I was afterwards
+informed that the officers of the great Aureng-Zeb came that very night
+to seize me, but finding only the interpreter, they publicly executed
+him; and the courtiers all claimed, very justly, that his punishment was
+well deserved.
+
+I had now only Africa to visit in order to enjoy all the pleasures of
+our continent; and thither I went to complete my voyage. The ship in
+which I embarked was taken by the Negro corsairs. The master of the
+vessel complained loudly, and asked why they thus violated the laws of
+nations. The captain of the Negroes thus replied:
+
+"You have a long nose and we have a short one. Your hair is straight and
+ours is curled; your skin is ash-colored and ours is of the color of
+ebon; and therefore we ought, by the sacred laws of nature, to be always
+at enmity. You buy us in the public markets on the coast of Guinea like
+beasts of burden, to make us labor in I don't know what kind of
+drudgery, equally hard and ridiculous. With the whip held over our
+heads, you make us dig in mines for a kind of yellow earth, which in
+itself is good for nothing, and is not so valuable as an Egyptian onion.
+In like manner wherever we meet you, and are superior to you in
+strength, we make you slaves, and oblige you to cultivate our fields, or
+in case of refusal we cut off your nose and ears."
+
+To such a learned discourse it was impossible to make any answer. I
+submitted to labor in the garden of an old negress, in order to save my
+nose and ears. After continuing in slavery for a whole year, I was at
+length happily ransomed.
+
+As I had now seen all that was rare, good, or beautiful on earth, I
+resolved for the future to see nothing but my own home. I took a wife,
+and soon suspected that she deceived me; but, notwithstanding this
+doubt, I still found that of all conditions of life this was much the
+happiest.
+
+
+[1] The reader will perceive that this is a spirited satire on mankind
+in general, and particularly on persecution for conscience
+sake.--_Trans._
+
+[2] Alluding to the infamous practice of poisoning and assassination at
+that time prevalent in Rome.--_Trans._
+
+[3] This was the famous Concini, who was murdered on the draw-bridge of
+the Louvre, by the intrigues of De Luines, not without the knowledge of
+the king, Louis XIII. His body, which had been secretly interred in the
+church of St. Germain de l'Auxerrois, was next day dug up by the
+populace, who dragged it through the streets, then burned the flesh, and
+threw the bones into the river. The marshal's greatest crime was his
+being a foreigner.--_Tr._
+
+[4] Referring to the massacre of Protestants, on the eve of St.
+Bartholomew.--_Tr._
+
+
+[Illustration: Brahma, _the Creator_.--Vishnu, _the Preserver_. --Siva,
+_the Destroyer_.]
+
+
+
+
+THE GOOD BRAMIN.
+
+DOES HAPPINESS RESULT FROM IGNORANCE OR FROM KNOWLEDGE?
+
+
+In my travels I once happened to meet with an aged Bramin. This man had
+a great share of understanding and prudence, and was very learned. He
+was also very rich, and his riches added greatly to his popularity; for,
+wanting nothing that wealth could procure, he had no desire to defraud
+any one. His family was admirably managed by three handsome wives, who
+always studied to please him; and when he was weary of their society, he
+had recourse to the study of philosophy.
+
+Not far from his house, which was handsome, well-furnished and
+embellished with delightful gardens, dwelt an old Indian woman who was a
+great bigot, ignorant, and withall very poor.
+
+"I wish," said the Bramin to me one day, "I had never been born!"
+
+"Why so?" said I.
+
+"Because," replied he, "I have been studying these forty years, and I
+find it has been so much time lost. While I teach others I know nothing
+myself. The sense of my condition is so humiliating, it makes all things
+so distasteful to me, that life has become a burden. I have been born,
+and I exist in time, without knowing what time is. I am placed, as our
+wise men say, in the confines between two eternities, and yet I have no
+idea of eternity. I am composed of matter, I think, but have never been
+able to satisfy myself what it is that produces thought. I even am
+ignorant whether my understanding is a simple faculty I possess, like
+that of walking and digesting, or if I think with my head in the same
+manner as I take hold of a thing with my hands. I am not only thus in
+the dark with relation to the principles of thought, but the principles
+of my motions are entirely unknown to me. I do not know why I exist, and
+yet I am applied to every day for a solution of the enigma. I must
+return an answer, but can say nothing satisfactory on the the subject. I
+talk a great deal, and when I have done speaking remain confounded and
+ashamed of what I have said."
+
+"I am in still greater perplexity when I am asked if Brama was produced
+by Vishnu, or if they have both existed from eternity. God is my judge
+that I know nothing of the matter, as plainly appears by my answers.
+'Reverend father,' says one, 'be pleased to inform me how evil is spread
+over the face of the earth.' I am as much at a loss as those who ask the
+question. Sometimes I tell them that every thing is for the best; but
+those who have the gout or the stone--those who have lost their fortunes
+or their limbs in the wars--believe as little of this assertion as I do
+myself. I retire to my own house full of curiosity, and endeavor to
+enlighten my ignorance by consulting the writings of our ancient sages,
+but they only serve to bewilder me the more. When I talk with my
+brethren upon this subject, some tell me we ought to make the most of
+life and laugh at the world. Others think they know something, and lose
+themselves in vain and chimerical hypotheses. Every effort I make to
+solve the mystery adds to the load I feel. Sometimes I am ready to fall
+into despair when I reflect that, after all my researches, I neither
+know from whence I came, what I am, whither I shall go, or what is to
+become of me."
+
+The condition in which I saw this good man gave me real concern. No one
+could be more rational, no one more open and honest. It appeared to me
+that the force of his understanding and the sensibility of his heart
+were the causes of his misery.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The same day I had a conversation with the old woman, his neighbor. I
+asked her if she had ever been unhappy for not understanding how her
+soul was made? She did not even comprehend my question. She had not, for
+the briefest moment in her life, had a thought about these subjects with
+which the good Bramin had so tormented himself. She believed from the
+bottom of her heart in the metamorphoses of her god Vishnu, and,
+provided she could get some of the sacred water of the Ganges in which
+to make her ablutions, she thought herself the happiest of women.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Struck with the happiness of this poor creature, I returned to my
+philosopher, whom I thus addressed:
+
+"Are you not ashamed to be thus miserable when, not fifty yards from
+you, there is an old automaton who thinks of nothing and lives
+contented?"
+
+"You are right," he replied. "I have said to myself a thousand times
+that I should be happy if I were but as ignorant as my old neighbor, and
+yet it is a happiness I do not desire."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+This reply of the Bramin made a greater impression on me than any thing
+that had passed. I consulted my own heart and found that I myself should
+not wish to be happy on condition of being ignorant.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+I submitted this matter to some philosophers, and they were all of my
+opinion: and yet, said I, there is something very contradictory in this
+manner of thinking; for, after all, what is the question? Is it not to
+be happy? What signifies it then whether we have understandings or
+whether we are fools? Besides, there is this to be said: those who are
+contented with their condition are sure of that content; while those
+who have the faculty of reasoning are not always sure of reasoning
+right. It is evident then, I continued, that we ought rather to wish not
+to have common sense, if that common sense contributes to our being
+either miserable or wicked.
+
+They were all of my opinion, and yet not one of them could be found, to
+accept of happiness on the terms of being ignorant. From hence I
+concluded, that although we may set a great value upon happiness, we set
+a still greater upon reason.
+
+But after mature reflection upon this subject I still thought there was
+great madness in preferring reason to happiness. How is this
+contradiction to be explained? Like all other questions, a great deal
+may be said about it.
+
+[Illustration: The happy bigot.]
+
+[Illustration: The comfortors.]
+
+
+
+
+THE TWO COMFORTERS.
+
+
+The great philosopher Citosile once said to a woman who was
+disconsolate, and who had good reason to be so: "Madame, the queen of
+England, daughter to Henry IV., was as wretched as you. She was banished
+from her kingdom, was in great danger of losing her life at sea, and saw
+her royal spouse expire on a scaffold."
+
+"I am sorry for her," said the lady, and began again to lament her own
+misfortunes.
+
+"But," said Citosile, "remember the fate of Mary Stuart. She loved, (but
+with a most chaste and virtuous affection,) an excellent musician, who
+played admirably on the bass-viol. Her husband killed her musician
+before her face; and in the sequel, her good friend and relative, queen
+Elizabeth, who called herself a virgin, caused her head to be cut off on
+a scaffold covered with black, after having confined her in prison for
+the space of eighteen years."
+
+"That was very cruel," replied the lady, and presently relapsed into her
+former melancholy.
+
+"Perhaps," said the comforter, "you have heard of the beautiful Joan of
+Naples, who was taken prisoner and strangled."
+
+"I have a dim remembrance of her," said the afflicted lady.
+
+"I must relate to you," continued the other, "the adventure of a
+sovereign princess who, within my recollection, was dethroned after
+supper, and who died in a desert island."
+
+"I know her whole history," replied the lady.
+
+"Well, then," said Citosile, "I will tell you what happened to another
+great princess whom I instructed in philosophy. She had a lover as all
+great and beautiful princesses have. Her father surprised this lover in
+her company, and was so displeased with the young man's confused manner
+and excited countenance, that he gave him one of the most terrible blows
+that had ever been given in his province. The lover seized a pair of
+tongs and broke the head of the angry parent, who was cured with great
+difficulty, and who still bears the marks of the wound. The lady in a
+fright leaped out of the window and dislocated her foot, in consequence
+of which she habitually halts, though still possessed in other respects
+of a very handsome person. The lover was condemned to death for having
+broken the head of a great prince. You can imagine in what a deplorable
+condition the princess must have been when her lover was led to the
+gallows. I have seen her long ago when she was in prison, and she always
+spoke to me of her own misfortunes."
+
+"And why will you not allow me to think of mine?" said the lady.
+
+"Because," said the philosopher, "you ought not to think of them; and
+since so many great ladies have been so unfortunate, it ill becomes you
+to despair. Think of Hecuba, --think of Niobe."
+
+"Ah!" said the lady, "had I lived in their time, or in that of so many
+beautiful princesses, and had you endeavored to console them by a
+relation of my misfortunes, would they have listened to you, do you
+imagine?"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Next day the philosopher lost his only son, and was entirely prostrated
+with grief. The lady caused a catalogue to be drawn up of all the kings
+who had lost their children, and carried it to the philosopher. He read
+it--found it very exact--and wept nevertheless.
+
+Three months afterwards they chanced to renew their acquaintance, and
+were mutually surprised to find each other in such a gay and sprightly
+humor. To commemorate this event, they caused to be erected a beautiful
+statue to Time, with this inscription: "TO HIM WHO COMFORTS."
+
+[Illustration: The winged dragon.][1]
+
+
+
+
+ANCIENT FAITH AND FABLE.
+
+
+In order to be successful in their efforts to govern the multitude,
+rulers have endeavored to instill all the visionary notions possible
+into the minds of their subjects.
+
+The good people who read _Virgil_, or the _Provincial Letters_, do not
+know that there are twenty times more copies of the _Almanac of Liège_
+and of the _Courier Boiteux_ printed, than of all the ancient and modern
+books together. No one can have a greater admiration than myself for the
+illustrious authors of these _Almanacs_ and their brethren. I know that
+ever since the time of the ancient Chaldeans there have been fixed and
+stated days for taking physic, paring our nails, giving battle, and
+cleaving wood. I know that the best part of the revenue of an
+illustrious academy consists in the sale of these _Almanacs_. May I
+presume to ask, with all possible submission, and a becoming diffidence
+of my own judgment, what harm it would do to the world if some powerful
+astrologer were to assure the peasants and the good inhabitants of
+little villages that they might safely pare their nails when they
+please, provided it be done with a good intention? The people, I shall
+be told, would not buy the _Almanacs_ of this new astrologer. On the
+contrary, I will venture to affirm, that there would be found among
+your great geniuses many who would make a merit in following this
+novelty. Should it be alleged, however, that these geniuses, in their
+new born zeal, would form factions and kindle a civil war, I would have
+nothing farther to say on the subject, but readily give up for the sake
+of peace my too radical and dangerous opinion.
+
+Every body knows the king of Boutan. He is one of the greatest princes
+in the universe. He tramples under his feet the thrones of the earth;
+and his shoes (if he has any) are provided with sceptres instead of
+buckles. He adores the devil, as is well known, and his example is
+followed by all his courtiers. He one day sent for a famous sculptor of
+my country, and ordered him to make a beautiful statue of Beelzebub. The
+sculptor succeeded admirably. Never before was there seen such an
+interesting and handsome devil. But, unhappily, our Praxiteles had only
+given five clutches to his statue, whereas the devout Boutaniers always
+gave him six. This serious blunder of the artist was aggravated by the
+grand master of ceremonies to the devil with all the zeal of a man
+justly jealous of his master's acknowledged rights, and also of the
+established and sacred customs of the kingdom of Boutan. He insisted
+that the sculptor should be punished for his thoughtless innovation by
+the loss of his head. The anxious sculptor explained that his five
+clutches were exactly equal in weight to six ordinary clutches; and the
+king of Boutan, who was a prince of great clemency, granted him a
+pardon. From that time the people of Boutan no longer believed the dogma
+relating to the devil's six clutches.
+
+The same day it was thought necessary that his majesty should be bled,
+and a surgeon of Gascony, who had come to his court in a ship belonging
+to our East India Company, was appointed to take from him five ounces of
+his precious blood. The astrologer of that quarter cried out that the
+king would be in danger of losing his life if the surgeon opened a vein
+while the heavens were in their present state. The Gascon might have
+told him that the only question was about the king's health; but he
+prudently waited a few moments and then, taking an _Almanac_ in his
+hand, thus addressed the astrologer.
+
+"You was in the right, great man! The king would have died held he been
+bled at the instant you mentioned; but the heavens have since changed
+their aspect, and now is the favorable moment."
+
+The astrologer assented to the surgeon's observation. The king was
+cured; and by degrees it became an established custom among the
+Boutaniers to bleed their kings whenever it was considered necessary.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Although the Indian astronomers understood the method of calculating
+eclipses, yet the common people obstinately held to the old belief that
+the sun, when obscured, had fallen into the throat of a great dragon,
+and that the only way to free him from thence was by standing naked in
+the water and making a hideous noise to frighten away the monster, and
+oblige him to release his hold.[2] This notion, which is quite prevalent
+among the orientals, is an evident proof how much the symbols of
+religion and natural philosophy have at all times been perverted by the
+common people. The astronomers of all ages have been wont to distinguish
+the two points of intersection, upon which every eclipse happens, and
+which are called the Lunar Nodes, by marking them with a dragon's head
+and tail. Now the vulgar, who are equally ignorant in every part of the
+world, took the symbol or sign for the thing itself. Thus, when the
+astronomers said the sun is in the dragon's head, the common people said
+the dragon is going to swallow up the sun; and yet these people were
+remarkable for their fondness for astrology. But while we laugh at the
+ignorance and credulity of the Indians, we do not reflect that there are
+no less than 300,000 _Almanacs_ sold yearly in Europe, all of them
+filled with observations and predictions equally as false and absurd as
+any to be met with among the Indians. It is surely as reasonable to say
+that the sun is in the mouth or the claws of a dragon, as to tell people
+every year in print that they must not sow, nor plant, nor take physic,
+nor be bled, but on certain days of the moon. It is high time, in an age
+like ours, that some men of learning should think it worth their while
+to compose a calendar that might be of use to the industrious classes by
+instructing instead of deceiving them.
+
+A blustering Dominican at Rome said to an English philosopher with whom
+he was disputing:
+
+"You are a dog; you say that it is the earth that turns round, never
+reflecting that Joshua made the sun to stand still!"
+
+"Well! my reverend father," replied the philosopher, "ever since that
+time hath not the sun been immovable?"
+
+The dog and the Dominican embraced each other, and even the devout
+Italians were at length convinced that the earth turns round.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+An augur and a senator lamented, in the time of Cæsar, the declining
+state of the republic.
+
+"The times, indeed, are very bad," said the senator, "we have reason to
+tremble for the liberty of Rome."
+
+"Ah!" said the augur, "that is not the greatest evil; the people now
+begin to lose the respect which they formerly had for our order. We seem
+barely to be tolerated--we cease to be necessary. Some generals have the
+assurance to give battle without consulting us. And, to complete our
+misfortunes, even those who sell us the sacred pullets begin to reason."
+
+"Well, and why don't you reason likewise?" replied the senator, "and
+since the dealers in pullets in the time of Cæsar are more knowing than
+they were in the time of Numa, ought not you modern augurs to be better
+philosophers than those who lived in former ages?"
+
+
+[1] This dragon was of the same species, _Draco Volans_, as the savage
+reptile slain by St. George, the patron saint of England, or the
+sleepless dragon at Colchis, from which Jason rescued the _golden
+fleece_. The bible history abounds with allusions to dragons, and with
+prophecies of their coming exploits in the stellar spheres. These
+marvels may be considered, however, as more strange than credible, and
+more ancient than authentic--E.
+
+[2] In Rev. XII: 3, 4, the Dragon is represented as deftly seizing
+one-third of the stars of heaven with his tail, and rudely wresting them
+in dire confusion from the celestial spheres.--E.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Voltaire's Romances, by François-Marie Arouet
+
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