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diff --git a/35595-h/35595-h.htm b/35595-h/35595-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f827251 --- /dev/null +++ b/35595-h/35595-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,20854 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> +<!-- $Id: header.txt 236 2009-12-07 18:57:00Z vlsimpson $ --> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=utf-8" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Voltaire's Romances, by Voltaire. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; + background: #FAEBD7; + +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + + +.blockquot { + font-size: 0.8em; + margin-left: 5%; + margin-right: 10%; + +} + +a:link {color: #0000A0; text-decoration: underline; } +v:link {color: #800000; text-decoration: none; } + +.bb {border-bottom: solid 2px;} + +.bl {border-left: solid 2px;} + +.bt {border-top: solid 2px;} + +.br {border-right: solid 2px;} + +.bbox {border: solid 2px;} + +.center {text-align: center;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.u {text-decoration: underline;} + +.caption {font-weight: bold;} + +.small {font-size: 0.8em;} + +.contents {margin-left: 25%;} + +.caption_fig {font-size: 0.7em; font-family: arial;} + +.maroon {color: #800000;} + +.block {font-size : 0.9em;} + +/* Images */ +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; +} + +.figleft { + float: left; + clear: left; + margin-left: 0; + margin-bottom: 1em; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-right: 1em; + padding: 0; + text-align: center; +} + +.figright { + float: right; + clear: right; + margin-left: 1em; + margin-bottom: + 1em; + margin-top: 1em; + margin-right: 0; + padding: 0; + text-align: center; +} + +/* Footnotes */ +.footnotes {border: dashed 1px;} + +.footnote {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + +.footnote .label {position: absolute; right: 84%; text-align: right;} + +.fnanchor { + vertical-align: super; + font-size: .8em; + text-decoration: + none; +} + + + </style> + </head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 35595 ***</div> + +<h1><span class="maroon">VOLTAIRE'S ROMANCES</span></h1> + +<h3>TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH.</h3> + +<h4><i>A NEW EDITION</i>,</h4> + +<h4>WITH NUMEROUS ILLUSTRATIONS.</h4> + + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 354px;"> +<a name="de_Voltaire" id="de_Voltaire"></a> +<img src="images/img_001_frontispiece.jpg" width="354" alt="M. de Voltaire." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">M. de Voltaire.</span> +</div> + + +<blockquote><p class="block"><br /><br />I choose that a story should be founded on probability, and not +always resemble a dream. I desire to find nothing in it trivial or +extravagant; and I desire above all, that under the appearance of +fable there may appear some latent truth, obvious to the discerning +eye, though it escape the observation of the vulgar.—<i>Voltaire.</i> +<br /><br /><br /></p></blockquote> + +<h4>COMPLETE IN ONE VOLUME.</h4> + + +<h5>NEW YORK:</h5> + +<h5>PUBLISHED BY PETER ECKLER,</h5> + +<h5>35 FULTON STREET.</h5> + +<h5>1889.</h5> + +<hr style="width: 95%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 260px;"> +<a name="Writing_implements" id="Writing_implements"></a> +<img src="images/img_002_pompei.jpg" width="260" alt="Writing implements--Pompeii" title="" /> +</div> + + +<h3>PUBLISHER'S PREFACE</h3> + + +<p>Voltaire wrote what the people thought, and consequently his writings +were universally read. He wittily ridiculed established abuses, and +keenly satirized venerable absurdities. For this he was consigned to the +Bastile, and this distinction served to increase his popularity and +extend his influence. He was thus enabled to cope successfully with the +papal hierarchy, and laugh at the murmurs of the Vatican. The struggle +commenced in his youth, and continued till his death. It was a struggle +of light against darkness—of freedom against tyranny; and it ended in +the triumph of truth over error and of toleration over bigotry.</p> + +<p>Educated by the Jesuits, he early learned their methods, and his great +ability enabled him to circumvent their wiles. The ceremonious +presentation of his tragedy of <i>Mahomet</i><a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> to Pope Benedict XIV., is an +example of his daring audacity;—his success with the "head of the +church" shows his intellectual superiority—whilst the gracious reply of +"his Holiness" fitly illustrates the pontiff's vanity. From priest to +bishop, from cardinal to pope, all felt his intellectual power and all +dreaded his merciless satire.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 242px;"> +<a name="Voltaire_at_seventy" id="Voltaire_at_seventy"></a> +<img src="images/img_001b_volt_02.jpg" width="242" alt="Voltaire at seventy." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Voltaire at seventy.</span> +</div> + +<p>He was famous as poet, dramatist, historian, and philosopher. An +experienced courtier and polished writer, he gracefully and politely +conquered his clerical opponents, and with courteous irony overthrew his +literary critics. From his demeanor you could not judge of his thoughts +or intentions, and while listening to his compliments, you instinctively +dreaded his sarcasms. But venture to approach this grand seigneur, this +keen man of the world, this intellectual giant, and plead in favor of +human justice—appeal to his magnanimity and love of toleration—and you +then had no cause to question his earnestness, no reason to doubt his +sincerity. His blood boiled, says Macaulay,<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> at the sight of cruelty +and injustice, and in an age of religious persecution, judicial torture, +and arbitrary imprisonment, he made manful war, with every faculty he +possessed, on what he considered as abuses; and on many signal +occasions, placed himself gallantly between the powerful and the +oppressed. "When an innocent man was broken on the wheel at Toulouse, +when a youth, guilty only of an indiscretion, was beheaded at Abbéville, +when a brave officer, borne down by public injustice, was dragged, with +a gag in his mouth, to die on the Place de Grêve, a voice instantly went +forth from the banks of Lake Leman, which made itself heard from Moscow +to Cadiz, and which sentenced the unjust judges to the contempt and +detestation of all Europe."</p> + +<p>"None can read these stories of the horrible religious bigotry of the +day," says Alex. A. Knox, in <i>The Nineteenth Century</i>,<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> "without +feeling for Voltaire reverence and respect."</p> + +<p>The following extract from the above named Review will explain the +religious cruelty to which Macaulay refers:</p> + +<blockquote><p class="block">"Jean Calas, a Protestant, kept a small shop in Toulouse. He had a +scape-grace of a son, Marc Antoine by name, who hanged himself in +his father's shop. The poor father and mother were up stairs at the +time, at supper, in company with the second son. The evidence was +so clear that a coroner's jury at a public-house would not have +turned round upon it. The priests and the priest party got hold of +it, and turned it into a religious crime. The Protestant, or +Huguenot parents were charged with murdering their son for fear he +should turn Catholic. The body was taken to the Hôtel de Ville, and +then escorted by priests to the cathedral. The religious +orders—White Penitents and others—held solemn ceremonies for the +repose of Marc Antoine's soul. The churches resounded with the +exhortations of the priests, informing the people what evidence was +required to procure the condemnation of the Calas, and directing +them to come forward as witnesses. Upon such assumptions as these +horrible people could devise, the poor old man was stretched till +his limbs were torn out of the sockets. He was then submitted to +the <i>question extraordinaire</i>. This consisted in pouring water into +his mouth from a horn till his body was swollen to twice its size. +The man had been drowned a hundred times over, but he was still +alive. He was then carried to the scaffold and his limbs were +broken with an iron bar, and he was left for two hours to die. He +did not then die, and so the executioner strangled him at last; but +he died without confessing his crime. The man was innocent; he had +no confession to make. The poor creature by his unutterable agony +thus saved the lives of his wife and family, all as innocent as +himself. Two daughters were thrust into a convent: a son shammed +conversion to Catholicism and was released. The servant escaped +into a convent. The property of the family was confiscated. The +poor mother slipped away unseen. Finally, another son, who had been +apprenticed to a watchmaker of Nismes, escaped to Geneva. This is a +picture of France in the eighteenth century.</p> + +<p class="block">"Voltaire took poor young Calas into his family. He tried at once +to interest the Cardinal de Bernis, the Duc de Choiseul, and others +in this horrible story. He found for the widow a comfortable +retreat at Paris; he employed the best lawyers he could find to +give practical form to the business; he sent the daughters to join +the mother. He paid all the expenses out of his own pocket. He +reached the Chancellor; he made his appeal to Europe. He employed a +clever young advocate M. Elie de Beaumont, to conduct the cast. The +Queen of England, Frederick the Great, Catharine of Russia, were +induced by Voltaire to help the Calas.</p> + +<p class="block">"The case of the Sirvens was well-nigh as bad as that of the Calas. +Sirven lived with his wife and three daughters, all Protestants, +near Toulouse. The story is so illustrative of the France of the +eighteenth century, and of what Voltaire was about, that it +deserves a few lines. Sirven's housekeeper, a Roman Catholic, with +the assent of the Bishop of Castres, spirited away the youngest +daughter, and placed her in a convent of the Black Ladies with a +view to her conversion. She returned to her parents in a state of +insanity, her body covered with the marks of the whip. She never +recovered from the cruelties she had endured at the convent. One +day, when her father was absent on his professional duties, she +threw herself into a well, at the bottom of which she was found +drowned. It was obvious to the authorities that the parents had +murdered their child because she wished to become a Roman Catholic. +They most wisely did not appear, and were sentenced to be hanged +when they could be caught. In their flight the married daughter +gave premature birth to a child; and Madame Sirven died in despair. +It took Voltaire ten years to get this abominable sentence +reversed, and to turn wrong into right.</p> + +<p class="block">"A Protestant gentleman, M. Espinasse, had been condemned to the +galleys for life and his estate confiscated because he had given +supper and lodging to a Protestant clergyman. He served +twenty-three years; but in 1763 Voltaire obtained his release, and +ultimately obtained back for the family a portion of their +property.</p> + +<p class="block">"The Chevalier de la Barre was another victim. Some person or +persons unknown had hacked with a knife a wooden crucifix which +stood on a bridge at Abbéville over the Somme. The same night a +crucifix on one of the cemeteries was bespattered with mud. The +bishop of the place set to work to stir up excitement, praying for +punishment 'on those who had rendered themselves worthy of the +severest punishment known to the world's law.' Young De la Barre +was arrested. The evidence against him was that he, with certain +companions, had been known to pass within thirty yards of a +procession bearing the Sacrament without taking off their hats. It +was further proved in evidence that he and his friends had sung +certain objectionable songs, and that not only some novels had been +found in his rooms, but also two small volumes of Voltaire's +<i>Dictionnaire Philosophique</i>. On this evidence he was sentenced to +be subjected to the torture, ordinary and extraordinary; to have +his tongue torn out by the roots with pincers of iron, to have his +right hand cut off at the door of the principal church at +Abbéville, to be drawn in a cart to the market-place, and there to +be burned to death by a slow fire. The sentence was mitigated so +far that he was allowed to be beheaded before he was burned. This +sentence was carried out on the 1st of July, 1766. These are +samples of what was occurring in France. Was there not enough to +rouse indignation to fever-heat?</p> + +<p class="block">"When one reads such stories, even at this distance of time, he +understands the French Revolution and Voltaire."</p></blockquote> + +<p>In all his writings Voltaire claimed to be religious, and was as ready +to oppose with his sarcasms the agnostic or atheist, as the catholic. In +speaking of Tully as a doubter, he makes Pococurante exclaim: "I once +had some liking for his philosophical works; but when I found he +doubted of everything, I thought I knew as much as himself, and had no +need of a guide to learn ignorance."</p> + +<p>But while Voltaire was a Theist—as Lord Brougham says,<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> "without any +hesitation or any intermission, a Theist"—and was a firm believer in +the existence of a Creator and ruler of the universe,—he was also an +avowed opponent of Catholicism; and when not engaged in the production +of works which have added dignity to the literature of France, his life +was passed in open warfare with the church of Rome. To this church he +was as sincerely opposed as Martin Luther, and although his methods of +attack and opposition differed entirely from that of the great German +reformer, who shall say that his efforts have not proved even more +successful? Macaulay has shown<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a> that no Catholic nation has become +Protestant since the period of the Reformation; while on the other hand, +no nation once Protestant, has returned to Catholicism. Each party has +retained its own territory, and the only gain has been in favor of +religious freedom. The sincere and earnest appeals of Luther, which +convulsed Germany, produced but little or no effect on the versatile +mind of France. But the brilliant writings of Voltaire were welcomed by +his countrymen, and have not been without their influence on French +civilization. And although France has not been claimed as a protestant +nation, yet freethinkers have there attained great power and influence, +whilst Germany, once the stronghold of Protestantism, is now the chosen +and hospitable home of freethought.</p> + +<p>Voltaire in his day was an acknowledged leader of public opinion. His +thoughts engrossed the attention of the world. "Whole nations," says +Quinet,<a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a> "emulously repeat every syllable that falls from his pen:" +and the lapse of time has but confirmed the verdict of his +cotemporaries, that of all the great reformers, his writings are the +most useful to mankind.</p> + +<p>"If we judge of men by what they have <i>done</i>" says Lamartine,<a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a> "then +Voltaire is incontestably the greatest writer of modern Europe. No one +has caused, through the powerful influence of his genius alone, and the +perseverance of his will, so great a commotion in the minds of men; his +pen aroused a world, and has shaken a far mightier empire than that of +Charlemagne, the European empire of a theocracy. His genius was not +<i>force</i> but <i>light</i>. Heaven had destined him not to destroy but to +illuminate, and wherever he trod light followed him, for reason (which +is <i>light</i>) had destined him to be first her poet, then her apostle, and +lastly her idol."</p> + +<p>At seventeen years of age Voltaire wrote <i>Œdipus</i>, at eighty-three he +wrote <i>Irène</i>. During the intervening years he enriched the world of +thought with seventy volumes of irresistible humor—of brilliant and +caustic wit,—in truth, a mine of literary gems undimmed with +mediocrity's prosy dullness. In fact, it was this quality of humor and +mirth that made Voltaire's writings so distasteful to his opponents—so +welcome to mankind. Other writers, who went far beyond Voltaire, were +not considered dangerous, because they were never read. They were +sincere and learned, but tedious and austere. Their disbelief was +condoned by its metaphysical obscurity—their skepticism was redeemed by +its unmitigated dullness. But with Voltaire the case was very different. +His writings were read and appreciated by old or young, grave or gay, +sage or sophist, prince or peasant. To answer him was impossible—to +abuse him was thought commendable.</p> + +<p>"Napoleon, during fifteen years," says Lamartine,<a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> "paid writers who +degrade, vilify, and deny the genius of Voltaire; he hated his name as +<i>might</i> must ever <i>hate intellect</i>; and so long as men yet cherished the +memory of Voltaire—so long he felt his position was not secure." The +church voluntarily joined in this work of aspersion. To the priests it +was no hardship,—it was a welcome task—a labor of love. They hated the +writings they could not answer—the genius they could not destroy.</p> + +<p>"The church," says Macaulay,<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a> "made no defense, except by acts of +power. Censures were pronounced; books were seized; insults were offered +to the remains of infidel writers but no Bossuet, no Pascal, came forth +to encounter Voltaire. There appeared not a single defense of the +catholic doctrine which produced any considerable effect, or which is +even now remembered."</p> + +<p>"His element," says Schlosser,<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a> "was the lighter kind of poetry, and +his fugitive verses, his sharp wit, his bold opinions, produced effects +in his time, like flashes of lightning, for they illuminated at the same +time the night of Jesuitical superstition, and struck and shivered to +pieces the majestic towers and gothic domes of the middle ages.</p> + +<p>"The so-called fugitive pieces alone, if he had written nothing else, +would have been sufficient to secure Voltaire's immortality; for in +these he is altogether in his sphere; he has only to think of the people +whom he calls exclusively the world, and he can direct every spark of +his genius to the production of instantaneous effect, delight his reader +by his fancy, and surprise him by his wit.</p> + +<p>"The chief aim of each one of Voltaire's small novels is the overthrow +and refutation of some ruling opinion, and this object is admirably +attained by the story itself, and by weaving in sarcasms, because this +rendered all reply and refutation impossible. Seriousness could never +have reached the readers of these novels, or would immediately weary +them; and every attempt to rival Voltaire in a strain of pleasantry and +satire, would have been a folly.</p> + +<p>"In <i>Zadig</i> he shows palpably and obviously how entirely devoid of +reason and taste the usual moral and edifying considerations upon the +way of Providence, upon a God who thinks, counsels, acts, and conducts +the affairs of the world as a man, must appear to the bold scoffer. +Voltaire, we would say, confined and limited the doctrine of an +immediate guidance of human affairs by the hand of Divine Providence, +wholly to the church and to the faith of the people; he roofed it out of +higher life and out of science by means of his dreadful ridicule. By his +narratives he made that obvious, which indeed is easily made palpable +enough, because it is undeniable, that the theory of a palpable guidance +of human affairs by an ever-manifesting interposing Providence, may be +just as easily refuted as proved by history and experience. In <i>Memnon</i> +is shown, in an admirable manner, how the multitude are enamoured of +their prudence, and laugh at nature and its feelings. In the <i>Ingenu</i>, +the witty man yields himself up wholly to his humor and to accident, and +brings forth a rich abundance of wit and flashes of genius with respect +to the most various subjects."</p> + +<p>"Voltaire had the genius of criticism," says Lamartine,<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a> "that power +of raillery which withers all it overthrows. He had made human nature +laugh at itself, had felled it low in order to raise it, had laid bare +before it all errors, prejudices, iniquities, and crimes of ignorance; +he had urged it to rebellion against consecrated ideas, not by the ideal +but by sheer contempt. Destiny gave him eighty years of existence, that +he might slowly decompose the decayed age; he had the time to combat +against time, and when he fell he was the conqueror.</p> + +<p>"Such were the elements of the revolution in religious matters. Voltaire +laid hold of them, at the precise moment, with that <i>coup d'œil</i> of +strong instinct which sees clearer than genius itself. To an age young, +fickle, and unreflecting, he did not present reason under the form of an +austere philosophy, but beneath the guise of a facile freedom of ideas, +and a scoffing irony. He would not have succeeded in making his age +think, he did succeed in making it smile. He never attacked it in front, +nor with his face uncovered, in order that he might not set the laws in +array against him; and to avoid the fate of Servetus, he, the modern +Æsop, attacked under imaginary names the tyranny which he wished, to +destroy. He concealed his hate in history, the drama, light poetry, +romance, and even in jests. His genius was a perpetual allusion, +comprehending all his age, but impossible to be seized on by his +enemies. He struck, but his hand was concealed. Yet the struggle of a +man against a priesthood, an individual against an institution, a life +against eighteen centuries, was by no means destitute of courage.</p> + +<p>"There is an incalculable power of conviction and devotion of idea, in +the daring of one against all. To brave at once, with no other power +than individual reason, with no other support than conscience, human +consideration, that cowardice of the mind, masked under respect for +error; to dare the hatred of earth and the anathema of heaven, is the +heroism of the writer. Voltaire was not a martyr in his body, but he +consented to be one in his name, and devoted it during his life and +after his death. He condemned his own ashes to be thrown to the winds, +and not to have either an asylum or a tomb. He resigned himself even to +lengthened exile in exchange for the liberty of a free combat. He +isolated himself voluntarily from men, in order that their too close +contact might not interfere with his thoughts.</p> + +<p>"At eighty years of age, feeble, and feeling his death nearly +approaching, he several times made his preparations hastily, in order to +go and struggle still, and die at a distance from the roof of his old +age. The unwearied activity of his mind was never checked for a moment. +He carried his gaiety even to genius, and under that pleasantry of his +whole life we may perceive a grave power of perseverance and conviction. +Such was the character of this great man. The enlightened serenity of +his mind concealed the depth of its workings: under the joke and laugh +his constancy of purpose was hardly sufficiently recognized. He suffered +all with a laugh, and was willing to endure all, even in absence from +his native land, in his lost friendships, in his refused fame, in his +blighted name, in his memory accursed. He took all—bore all—for the +sake of the triumph of the independence of human reason."</p> + +<p>The manners and customs of the eighteenth century differ widely from +those of the nineteenth. Certain words and phrases that were then in +common use are now wisely suppressed. Lecky says very truly,<a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a> that "a +Roman of the age of Pliny, an Englishman of the age of Henry VIII., and +an Englishman of our own day, would all agree in regarding humanity as a +virtue, and its opposite as a vice; but their judgments of the acts +which are compatible with a humane disposition would be widely +different."</p> + +<p>The enemies of freethought have taken advantage of this fact—this +change in modes of expression—this refinement in literature—to defame +the memory of Voltaire. They denounce <i>La Pucelle</i> or <i>The Maid of +Orleans</i> for language and expressions, formerly popular in court circles +and sanctioned by the nobility and ladies of fashion, but which, +happily, have now become obsolete. They judge the license of the +eighteenth century—the license and profligacy which accompany +ecclesiasticism and monasticism—by nineteenth century standards. If the +same rule were applied to other writers, none would have cause to +complain. But, unfortunately, an exception has been unjustly made in +favor of the language employed by historians like Moses and Solomon, by +poets like Shakspeare and Pope, by theologians like Rabelais and Swift, +by novelists like Fielding and Smollett. In short, immodest language +cannot be redeemed by wit, by learning, or by pretended revelation, and +should always and invariably be suppressed; but writers should be judged +by the manners and customs of their age, and not by modern standards. +There are many passages in the old classic authors that were formerly +considered in good taste, which cannot now be commended. Still, the gold +outweighs the dross, and we should remember the laxity and +licentiousness of the times in which those books were written.</p> + +<p>The romances and tales in this publication have been selected for their +graceful and sprightly wit, as well as genial humor and keen satire; and +further, because they are free from even a suspicion of impropriety. +They each teach a lesson of wisdom and morality—they teach courage, +fortitude and resignation, and, what is perhaps of even greater +importance, they also tend to free the mind from the baneful errors of +priestcraft and superstition.</p> + +<p>"The most interesting adventures are related to no sort of purpose," +says Voltaire in one of his essays, "if they do not convey, at the same +time, a description of manners. And even this is but a frivolous +amusement, if that description does not contribute to inspire us with +sentiments of virtue. I dare assert that, from the <i>Henriade</i> to <i>Zara</i> +and down to the Chinese tragedy of <i>The Orphan of Tchao</i> such was always +the aim I proposed, and the principle that conducted me. In the history +of the age of Louis the fourteenth, I have celebrated my king and +country, without flattering either. In these endeavors have I spent +above forty years. But here is the advice of a Chinese philosopher, +whose writings are translated into Spanish, by the famous <i>Navarette</i>:</p> + +<p>"'If you write a book, show it only to your friends. Dread the public +and your brother authors. They will embitter your expressions, +misrepresent your meaning, and impute to you, what you never thought of. +Calumny, which has an hundred mouths, will open them against you; and +truth, which is silent, will remain with you.'"</p> + +<p>It has been said of Voltaire that he was "not only just, but generous in +his dealings with others. With open purse and open heart, helpful to all +who approached him. Collini, his secretary, said he was a miser <i>only of +his time</i>, which was always usefully employed. But we are also told that +there was one person to whom he could not even deny his time—it was +Mademoiselle de Varicourt—<i>Belle-et-Bonne</i>—whom he had adopted, and +who was afterward married to the Marquis de Villette. "She could never +disturb him," says A.A. Knox, "not even when he was giving the last +touches to <i>Irène</i>. If he were in a passion with anybody else, and she +appeared in the room, he was at once gentle and calm. There is something +very affecting in the old man's love and tenderness for this young +girl."</p> + +<p>After the success of the French Revolution, to which the writings of +Voltaire had so greatly contributed, when the National Assembly ordered +the removal of his remains to the Pantheon, to repose between the ashes +of Descartes and Mirabeau—when France honored herself in honoring the +great philosopher—it was <i>Belle-et-Bonne</i>—in the full splendor of her +majestic beauty—her heart overflowing with tenderness and +gratitude—her eyes dimmed with pathetic tears—who placed with loving +hands on the bier of her noble benefactor the wreath of filial +affection—the grandest tribute that humanity can bestow.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 24.5em;">PETER ECKLER.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;"><i>New York, Jan. 28, 1885.</i></span><br /> +</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> This work, says Prof. F.C. Schlosser in his <i>History of the +Eighteenth Century</i>, (vol. ii, p. 122.) "was sent to the pope, and very +favorably received by him; although it could not possibly escape the +notice of the pope, that the piece was indebted for its chief effect +upon the public, to the vehement expressions against religious +fanaticism which it contained. The pope felt himself flattered by the +transmission of the <i>Mahomet</i>, and notified his approbation, of which +Voltaire cunningly enough availed himself, for the advantage of his new +principles."</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> <i>Critical and Historical Essays</i>, page 553.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> Vol. iv, No. 39.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> <i>Men of Letters of the time of George III.</i></p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> <i>Critical & Historical Essays</i>, p. 553.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> <i>Lectures on the Romish Church.</i></p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> <i>History of the Girondists</i>, vol. i, p. 152.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> <i>History of the Girondists</i>, vol. i, p. 152.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> <i>Critical and Historical Essays</i>, p. 553.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> <i>History of the Eighteenth Century</i>, vol. i, pp. 263-269.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> <i>History of the Girondists</i>, vol. i, pp. 15, 154, 155, +156.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> <i>History of European Morals</i>, vol. i, page iii.</p></div> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p class="small">The illustrations in this work and a few notes have been added by the +publisher. The head of Voltaire in the frontispiece is from a bust by +Houdon, and is copied from an engraving published by Messrs. J. & H.L. +Hunt, London, 1824. It represents the gifted author as he appeared in +his eighty-third year. The full-length portrait of Voltaire on page iii, +shows him in his seventieth year, and the remaining portrait, on page +xii, gives his likeness in early manhood; it is from a French edition of +his works published in 1746.<br /><br /><br /></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 360px;"> +<a name="Voltaire_in_early_manhood" id="Voltaire_in_early_manhood"></a> +<img src="images/img_002b_vol_03.jpg" width="360" alt="Voltaire in early manhood." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Voltaire in early manhood.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 95%;" /> + +<h4>CONTENTS.</h4> +<p class="contents"> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">THE WHITE BULL: A SATIRICAL ROMANCE</span>.<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_Ia">CHAPTER I</a></span>. How the Princess Amasidia meets a bull.<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_IIa">CHAPTER II</a></span>. How the wise Mambres, formerly magician<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">of Pharoah, knew again the old woman, and was known</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">by her.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_IIIa">CHAPTER III</a></span>. How the beautiful Amasidia had a secret<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">conversation with a beautiful serpent.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_IVa">CHAPTER IV</a></span>. How they wanted to sacrifice the bull and<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">exorcise the Princess.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_Va">CHAPTER V</a></span>. How the wise Mambres conducted himself wisely.<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIa">CHAPTER VI</a></span>. How Mambres met three prophets, and gave<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">them a good dinner.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIIa">CHAPTER VII</a></span>. How king Amasis wanted to give the White<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Bull to be devoured by the fish of Jonah, and did not</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">do it.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIIIa">CHAPTER VIII</a></span>. How the serpent told stories to the<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Princess to comfort her.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_IXa">CHAPTER IX</a></span>. How the serpent did not comfort the Princess.<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_Xa">CHAPTER X</a></span>. How they wanted to behead the Princess, and<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">did not do it.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIa">CHAPTER XI</a></span>. Apotheosis of the White Bull. Triumph of the<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">wise Mambres. The seven years proclaimed by Daniel are</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">accomplished. Nebuchadnezzar resumes the human form, marries</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">the beautiful Amasidia, and ascends the throne of Babylon.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">ZADIG; OR FATE.</span><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#APPROBATION">Approbation.</a><br /> + +<a href="#EPISTLE_DEDICATORY_TO_THE_SULTANA_SERAA">Epistle dedicatory to the Sultana Sheraa.</a><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#Iz">I.</a> The Blind of one Eye.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#IIz">II.</a> The Nose.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#IIIz">III.</a> The Dog and the Horse.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#IVz">IV.</a> The Envious Man.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#Vz">V.</a> The Generous.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#VIz">VI.</a> The Minister.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#VIIz">VII.</a> The Disputes and the Audiences.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#VIIIz">VIII.</a> Jealousy.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#IXz">IX.</a> The Woman Beater.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#Xz">X.</a> Slavery.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XIz">XI.</a> The Funeral Pile.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XIIz">XII.</a> The Supper.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XIIIz">XIII.</a> The Rendezvous.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XIVz">XIV.</a> The Robber.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XVz">XV.</a> The Fisherman.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XVIz">XVI.</a> The Basilisk.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XVIIz">XVII.</a> The Combats.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XVIIIz">XVIII.</a> The Hermit.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;"><a href="#XIXz">XIX.</a> The Enigmas.</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">THE SAGE AND THE ATHEIST.</span><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#INTRODUCTION_s">Introduction</a><br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I.</a></span> Adventures of Johnny, a young Englishman,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">written by Donna Las Nalgas</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II.</a></span> Continuation of the adventures of John,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">the young Englishman; also those of his worthy father,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">D.D., M.P., and F.R.S.</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III.</a></span> Summary of the controversy of the "Buts,"<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">between Mr. Freind and Don Inigo-y-Medroso, y-Comodios,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">y-Papalamiendos, Bachelor of Salamanca</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV.</a></span> John returns to London and is led into<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">bad company</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V.</a></span> They want to get John married<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI.</a></span> A terrible adventure<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII.</a></span> What happened in America<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII.</a></span> Dialogue between Freind and Birton<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">on Atheism</span><br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX.</a></span> On Atheism<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X.</a></span> On Atheism<br /> + +<span class="small"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI.</a></span> Return to England—John's marriage<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">THE PRINCESS OF BABYLON.</span><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#Ia">I.</a> Royal contest for the hand of Formosanta<br /> + +<a href="#IIa">II.</a> The King of Babylon convenes his Council and consults<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">the Oracle</span><br /> + +<a href="#IIIa">III.</a> Royal festival given in honor of the kingly visitors.<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The bird converses eloquently with Formosanta</span><br /> + +<a href="#IVa">IV.</a> The beautiful bird is killed by the King of Egypt.<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Formosanta begins a journey. Aldea elopes with the King</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">of Scythia</span><br /> + +<a href="#Va">V.</a> Formosanta visits China and Scythia in search of<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Amazan</span><br /> + +<a href="#VIa">VI.</a> The Princess continues her journey<br /> + +<a href="#VIIa">VII.</a> Amazan visits Albion<br /> + +<a href="#VIIIa">VIII.</a> Amazan leaves Albion to visit the land of Saturn<br /> + +<a href="#IXa">IX.</a> Amazan visits Rome<br /> + +<a href="#Xa">X.</a> An unfortunate adventure in Gaul<br /> + +<a href="#XIa">XI.</a> Amazan and Formosanta become reconciled<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.</span><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#I">I.</a> National Poverty<br /> + +<a href="#II">II.</a> Disaster of the Man of Forty Crowns<br /> + +<a href="#III">III.</a> Conversation with a Geometrician<br /> + +<a href="#IV">IV.</a> An adventure with a Carmelite<br /> + +<a href="#V">V.</a> Audience of the Comptroller General<br /> + +<a href="#VI">VI.</a> The Man of Forty Crowns marries, becomes a father,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">and discants upon the monks</span><br /> + +<a href="#VII">VII.</a> On taxes paid to a foreign power<br /> + +<a href="#VIII">VIII.</a> On Proportions<br /> + +<a href="#IX">IX.</a> A great quarrel<br /> + +<a href="#X">X.</a> A rascal repulsed<br /> + +<a href="#XI">XI.</a> The good sense of Mr. Andrew<br /> + +<a href="#XII">XII.</a> The good supper at Mr. Andrew's<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">THE HURON; OR, PUPIL OF NATURE.</span><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#Ih">I.</a> The Huron arrives in France<br /> + +<a href="#IIh">II.</a> The Huron, called the Ingenu, acknowledged by<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">his relatives</span><br /> + +<a href="#IIIh">III.</a> The Huron converted<br /> + +<a href="#IVh">IV.</a> The Huron baptized<br /> + +<a href="#Vh">V.</a> The Huron in love<br /> + +<a href="#VIh">VI.</a> The Huron flies to his mistress, and becomes<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">quite furious</span><br /> + +<a href="#VIIh">VII.</a> The Huron repulses the English<br /> + +<a href="#VIIIh">VIII.</a> The Huron goes to Court. Sups upon the road with<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">some Huguenots</span><br /> + +<a href="#IXh">IX.</a> The arrival of the Huron at Versailles. His reception<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">at Court</span><br /> + +<a href="#Xh">X.</a> The Huron is shut up in the Bastile with a Jansenist<br /> + +<a href="#XIh">XI.</a> How the Huron discloses his genius<br /> + +<a href="#XIIh">XII.</a> The Huron's sentiments upon theatrical pieces<br /> + +<a href="#XIIIh">XIII.</a> The beautiful Miss St. Yves goes to Versailles<br /> + +<a href="#XIVh">XIV.</a> Rapid progress of the Huron's intellect<br /> + +<a href="#XVh">XV.</a> The beautiful Miss St. Yves visits M. de St. Pouange<br /> + +<a href="#XVIh">XVI.</a> Miss St. Yves consults a Jesuit<br /> + +<a href="#XVIIh">XVII.</a> The Jesuit triumphs<br /> + +<a href="#XVIIIh">XVIII.</a> Miss St. Yves delivers her lover and a Jansenist<br /> + +<a href="#XIXh">XIX.</a> The Huron, the beautiful Miss St. Yves, and their<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">relatives, are convened</span><br /> + +<a href="#XXh">XX.</a> The death of the beautiful Miss St. Yves and its<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">consequences</span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">MICROMEGAS</span>.<br /> +<br /> +<a href="#Im">I.</a> A voyage to the planet Saturn, by a native of Sirius<br /> + +<a href="#IIm">II.</a> The conversation between Micromegas and the inhabitant<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">of Saturn</span><br /> + +<a href="#IIIm">III.</a> The voyage of these inhabitants of other worlds<br /> + +<a href="#IVm">IV.</a> What befell them upon this our globe<br /> + +<a href="#Vm">V.</a> The travelers capture a vessel<br /> + +<a href="#VIm">VI.</a> What happened in their intercourse with men<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#THE_WORLD_AS_IT_GOES">THE WORLD AS IT GOES</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#THE_BLACK_AND_THE_WHITE">THE BLACK AND THE WHITE</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#MEMNON_THE_PHILOSOPHER">MEMNON THE PHILOSOPHER</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#ANDRE_DES_TOUCHES_AT_SIAM">ANDRÉ DES TOUCHES AT SIAM</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#BABABEC">BABABEC</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small" style="font-weight: bold;">THE STUDY OF NATURE.</span><br /> +<br /> +<a href="#In">I.</a> Introduction<br /> + +<a href="#IIn">II.</a> The study of Nature<br /> + +<a href="#IIIn">III.</a> Good advice<br /> + +<a href="#IVn">IV.</a> Dialogue upon the soul and other topics<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#A_CONVERSATION_WITH_A_CHINESE">A CONVERSATION WITH A CHINESE</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#PLATOS_DREAM">PLATO'S DREAM</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#PLEASURE_IN_HAVING_NO_PLEASURE">PLEASURE IN HAVING NO PLEASURE</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#AN_ADVENTURE_IN_INDIA">AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#JEANNOT_AND_COLIN">JEANNOT AND COLIN</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#THE_HISTORY_OF_THE_TRAVELS_OF_SCARMENTADO">THE TRAVELS OF SCARMENTADO</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#THE_GOOD_BRAMIN">THE GOOD BRAMIN</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#THE_TWO_COMFORTERS">THE TWO COMFORTERS</a></span><br /> +<span class="small"><a href="#ANCIENT_FAITH_AND_FABLE">ANCIENT FAITH AND FABLE</a></span><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a href="#ILLUSTRATIONS">List of Illustrations</a> +</p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 430px;"> +<a name="The_white_bull" id="The_white_bull"></a> +<img src="images/img_003_bull.jpg" width="430" alt="The White Bull" title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The white bull. A satyrical romance.—"<i>Daniel changed a +monarch into this bull, and I have changed this bull into a god!</i>"</span> +</div> + +<h5>TAURUS.</h5> + + +<blockquote><p class="block">The object and significance of ancient Tauric and Phallic worship +have been clearly set forth by Dupuis, Payne Knight, and other +learned authors, and we have, even at the present day, a survival +of the ancient faith, in the Mayday festivals of India and Britain, +which were originally instituted to celebrate the entrance of the +sun into the zodiacal sign Taurus, at the vernal equinox, when the +god Osiris was worshiped in Egypt under the form of a bull called +Apis.</p> + +<p class="block">"The general devotion of the ancients to the worship of the <span class="small">BULL</span>," +says the Rev. Mr. Maurice in his learned work on the <i>Antiquities +of India</i>, "I have had frequent occasion to remark, and more +particularly in the Indian history, by their devotion to it at that +period 'when the Bull with his horns opened the Vernal year.' I +observed that all nations seem anciently to have vied with each +other in celebrating that blissful epoch; and that the moment the +sun entered the sign Taurus, were displayed the signals of triumph +and the incentives to passion; that memorials of the universal +festivity indulged at that season, are to be found in the records +and customs of people otherwise the most opposite in manners and +most remote in situation;... that the Apis, or Sacred Bull of +Egypt, was only the symbol of the sun in the vigor of vernal youth; +and that the Bull of Japan, breaking with his horn the mundane egg, +was evidently connected with the same bovine species of +superstition, founded on the mixture of astronomy and mythology."</p> + +<p class="block">"In many of the most ancient temples or India," says Godfrey +Higgins in the <i>Anacalypsis</i>, "the Bull, as an object of adoration +makes a most conspicuous figure. A gigantic image of one protrudes +from the front of the temple of <i>the Great Creator</i>, called in the +language of the country, Jaggernaut, in Orissa. This is the Bull of +the Zodiac,—the emblem of the sun when the equinox took place in +the first degree of the sign of the Zodiac, Taurus. In consequence +of the precession of the equinoxes, the sun at the vernal equinox +left Taurus, and took place in Aries, which it has left also for a +great number of years, and it now takes place in Aquarius. Thus it +keeps receding about one degree in seventy-two years, and about a +whole <i>sign</i> in 2,160 years. M. Dupuis has demonstrated that the +labors of Hercules are nothing but a history of the passage of the +sun through the signs of the zodiac; and that Hercules is the sun +in Aries or the Ram, Bacchus the sun in Taurus or the Bull. The +adoration of the Bull of the zodiac is to be met with everywhere +throughout the world, in the most opposite climes. The examples of +it are innumerable and incontrovertable; they admit of no dispute.</p> + +<p class="block">"It appears from the book or history of the Exod, that it was on +the leaving of Egypt that Moses changed the object of adoration +from Taurus to Aries. It appears that the change took place on the +mountain of <i>Sin</i>, or Nisi, or Bacchus, which was evidently its old +name before Moses arrived there. The Israelites were punished for +adhering to the old worship, that of the Calf, in opposition to the +paschal Lamb, which Moses had substituted—'the Lamb which taketh +away the sins of the world,'—in place of the Bull or Calf which +took away the sins of the world.</p> + +<p class="block">"The planets were in later times all called by names appropriated +to the days of the week, which were dedicated by astrologers to the +gods who were typified by the Bull: Monday to the horned <i>Isis</i>; +Tuesday to Mercury, the same as Hermes and Osiris; Wednesday to +Woden, Fo, Buddha, and Surya; Thursday or Thor-day, or <i>Tur</i>, or +Taurus, or Bull-day, to Jove or Jupiter, who, as a Bull, stole +Europa; Friday was dedicated to Venus, Ashteroth or beeve-horned +Astarte; Saturday to Saturn, identified by Mr. Faber with Moloch +and the <i>Centaur Cronus</i> or Taschter; Sunday to the Sun, everywhere +typified by Taurus. All these, I think, must have taken their names +after the entrance of the Sun into Taurus; and before this date all +history and even mythology fails us.</p> + +<p class="block">"In ancient collections we often meet with a person in the prime of +life killing a young bull. He is generally accompanied with a +number of astrological emblems. This Bull was the mediatorial +Mithra, slain to make atonement for, and to take away the sins of +the world. This was the God Bull, to whom the prayers were +addressed which we find in Bryant and Faber, and in which he is +expressly called the Mediator. This is the Bull of Persia, which +Sir. William Jones and Mr. Faber identify with Buddha or Mahabad. +The sacrifice of the Bull, which taketh away the sins of the world, +was succeeded by the sacrifice of the Agni or of Fire, by our +Indians in, comparatively speaking, modern times; it was closely +connected with the two principles spoken of above. While the sun +was in Taurus, the Bull was slain as the vicarious sacrifice; when +it got into Aries, the Ram or Lamb was substituted.</p> + +<p class="block">"M. Dupuis observes, that the lamb was a symbol or mark of +initiation into the Christian mysteries, a sort of proof of +admission into the societies of the initiated of the lamb, like the +private sign of the free-masons. It follows, then, that the +mysteries of Christ are the mysteries of the Lamb, and that the +mysteries of the Lamb are mysteries of the same nature as those of +the Mithraitic Bull to which they succeeded by the effect of the +precession of the equinoxes, which substituted the slain <i>lamb</i> for +the slain <i>bull</i>."—E.</p></blockquote> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_WHITE_BULLa" id="THE_WHITE_BULLa"></a>THE WHITE BULL.</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 464px;"> +<a name="Apis" id="Apis"></a> +<img src="images/img_004_apis.jpg" width="464" alt="Apis." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Apis. +<a name="FNanchor_1_13" id="FNanchor_1_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_13" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> +</span> +</div> +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_Ia" id="CHAPTER_Ia"></a>CHAPTER I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THE PRINCESS AMASIDIA MEETS A BULL.</span></h4> + + +<p>The princess Amasidia, daughter of Amasis, King of Tanis in Egypt, took +a walk upon the highway of Peluaium with the ladies of her train. She +was sunk in deep melancholy. Tears gushed from her beautiful eyes. The +cause of her grief was known, as well as the fears she entertained lest +that grief should displease the king, her father. The old man, Mambres, +ancient magician and eunuch of the Pharoahs, was beside her, and seldom +left her. He was present at her birth. He had educated her, and taught +her all that a fair princess was allowed to know of the sciences of +Egypt. The mind of Amasidia equaled her beauty. Her sensibility and +tenderness rivaled the charms of her person; and it was this sensibility +which cost her so many tears.</p> + +<p>The princess was twenty-four years old, the magician, Mambres, about +thirteen hundred. It was he, as every one knows, who had that famous +dispute with Moses, in which the victory was so long doubtful between +these two profound philosophers. If Mambres yielded, it was owing to +the visible protection of the celestial powers, who favored his rival. +It required gods to overcome Mambres!</p> + +<p>Amasis made him superintendent of his daughter's household, and he +acquitted himself in this office with his usual prudence. His compassion +was excited by the sighs of the beautiful Amasidia.</p> + +<p>"O, my lover!" said she to herself, "my young, my dear lover! O, +greatest of conquerors, most accomplished, most beautiful of men! Almost +seven years hast thou disappeared from the world. What God hath snatched +thee from thy tender Amasidia? Thou art not dead. The wise Egyptian +prophets confess this. But thou art dead to me. I am alone in the world. +To me it is a desert. By what extraordinary prodigy hast thou abandoned +thy throne and thy mistress?—thy throne, which was the first in the +world—however, that is a matter of small consequence; but to abandon +me, who adores thee! O, my dear Ne—"</p> + +<p>She was going on.</p> + + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 130px;"> +<a name="silence" id="silence"></a> +<img src="images/img_005_silence.jpg" width="130" alt="Silence" title="" /> +</div> + +<p> +"Tremble to pronounce that fatal name," said Mambres, the ancient eunuch +and magician of the Pharoahs. "You would perhaps be discovered by some +of the ladies of your court. They are all very much devoted to you, and +all fair ladies certainly make it a merit to serve the noble passions of +fair princesses. But there may be one among them indiscreet, and even +treacherous. You know that your father, although he loves you, has sworn +to put you to death, should you pronounce the terrible name always ready +to escape your lips. This law is severe; but you have not been educated +in Egyptian wisdom to be ignorant of the government of the tongue. +Remember that Hippocrates, one of our greatest gods, has always his +finger upon his mouth."</p> + +<p>The beautiful Amasidia wept, and was silent.</p> + +<p>As she pensively advanced toward the banks of the Nile she perceived at +a distance, under a thicket watered by the river, an old woman in a +tattered gray garment, seated on a hillock. This old woman had beside +her a she-ass, a dog, and a he-goat. Opposite to her was a serpent, +which was not like the common serpents; for its eyes were mild, its +physiognomy noble and engaging, while its skin shone with the liveliest +and brightest colors. A huge fish, half immersed in the river, was not +the least astonishing figure in the group; and on a neighboring tree +were perched a raven and a pigeon. All these creatures seemed to carry +on a very animated conversation.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 262px;"> +<a name="Amasidia" id="Amasidia"></a> +<img src="images/img_006_amasidia.jpg" width="262" alt="Amasidia—"O, my lover! my young, my dear lover! O, +greatest of conquerors, most accomplished, most beautiful of men!"" title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Amasidia—"<i>O, my lover! my young, my dear lover! O, +greatest of conquerors, most accomplished, most beautiful of men!</i>"</span> +</div> + +<p>"Alas!" said the princess in a low tone, "these animals undoubtedly +speak of their loves, and it is not so much as allowed me to mention the +name of mine."</p> + +<p>The old woman held in her hand a slender steel chain a hundred fathoms +long, to which was fastened a bull who fed in the meadow. This bull was +white, perfectly well-made, plump, and at the same time agile, which is +a thing seldom to be found. He was indeed the most beautiful specimen +that was ever seen of his kind. Neither the bull of Pasiphæ, nor that in +whose shape Jupiter appeared when he carried off Europa, could be +compared to this noble animal. The charming young heifer into which Isis +was changed, would have scarce been worthy of his company.</p> + +<p>As soon as the bull saw the princess he ran toward her with the +swiftness of a young Arabian horse, who pricks up his ears and flies +over the plains and rivers of the ancient Saana to approach the lovely +consort whose image reigns in his heart. The old woman used her utmost +efforts to restrain the bull. The serpent wanted to terrify him by its +hissing. The dog followed him and bit his beautiful limbs. The she-ass +crossed his way and kicked him to make him return. The great fish +remounted the Nile and, darting himself out of the water, threatened to +devour him. The he-goat remained immovable, apparently struck with fear. +The raven fluttered round his head as if it wanted to tear out his eyes. +The pigeon alone accompanied him from curiosity, and applauded him by a +sweet murmur.</p> + +<p>So extraordinary a sight threw Mambres into serious reflections. In the +meanwhile, the white bull, dragging after him his chain and the old +woman, had already reached the princess, who was struck with +astonishment and fear. He threw himself at her feet. He kissed them. He +shed tears. He looked upon her with eyes in which there was a strange +mixture of grief and joy. He dared not to low, lest he should terrify +the beautiful Amasidia. He could not speak. A weak use of the voice, +granted by Heaven to certain animals, was denied him; but all his +actions were eloquent. The princess was delighted by him. She perceived +that a trifling amusement could suspend for some moments even the most +poignant grief.</p> + +<p>"Here," said she, "is a most amiable animal. I could wish much to have +him in my stable."</p> + +<p>At these words he bull bent himself on his knees and kissed the ground.</p> + +<p>"He understands me," cried the princess. "He shows me that he wants to +be mine. Ah, heavenly magician! ah, divine eunuch! Give me this +consolation. Purchase this beautiful bovine. Settle the price with the +old woman, to whom he no doubt belongs. This animal must be mine. Do not +refuse me this innocent comfort."</p> + +<p>All the ladies joined their requests to the entreaties of the princess. +Mambres yielded to them, and immediately went to speak to the old woman.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_13" id="Footnote_1_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_13"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> According to Eschenburg, Apis is the name of the ox in +which Osiris was supposed to reside, rather than a distinct deity. The +ox thus honored was known by certain marks; his body was all black, +excepting a square spot of white on his forehead, and a white crescent +or sort of half-moon on his right side; on his back was the figure of an +eagle; under his tongue a sort of knot resembling a beetle +(<i>cantharus</i>), and two sorts of hair upon his tail. This ox was +permitted to live twenty-five years. His body was then embalmed, placed +in a chest, and buried with many solemnities. A season of mourning then +followed, until a new Apis, or ox properly marked, was discovered.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IIa" id="CHAPTER_IIa"></a>CHAPTER II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THE WISE MAMBRES, FORMERLY MAGICIAN OF PHAROAH, KNEW AGAIN THE OLD +WOMAN, AND WAS KNOWN BY HER.</span></h4> + + +<p>"Madam," said Mambres to her, "you know that ladies, and particularly +princesses, have need of amusement. The daughter of the king is +distractedly fond of your bull. I beg that you will sell him to us. You +shall be paid in ready money."</p> + +<p>"Sir," answered the old woman, "this precious animal does not belong to +me. I am charged, together with all the beasts which you see, to keep +him with care, to watch all his motions, and to give an exact account of +them. God forbid that I should ever have any inclination to sell this +invaluable animal."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 420px;"> +<a name="The_remarkable_witch" id="The_remarkable_witch"></a> +<img src="images/img_007_witch.jpg" width="420" alt="The remarkable witch of Endor." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The remarkable witch of Endor.—"<i>What, is it indeed you</i>," +cried Mambres, "<i>who are so famous upon the banks of your little Jordan, +and the first person in the world for raising apparitions?</i>"</span> +</div> + +<p>Mambres, upon this discourse, began to have a confused remembrance of +something which he could not yet properly distinguish. He eyed the old +woman in the gray cloak with greater attention.</p> + +<p>"Respectable lady," said he to her, "I either mistake, or I have seen +you formerly."</p> + +<p>"I make no mistake, sir," replied the old woman. "I have seen you seven +hundred years ago, in a journey which I made from Syria into Egypt some +months after the destruction of Troy, when Hiram the second reigned at +Tyre, and Nephel Keres in ancient Egypt."</p> + +<p>"Ah! madam," cried the old man, "you are the remarkable witch of Endor."</p> + +<p>"And you, sir," said the sorceress, embracing him, "are the great +Mambres of Egypt."</p> + +<p>"O, unforeseen meeting! memorable day! eternal decrees!" said Mambres. +"It certainly is not without permission of the universal providence that +we meet again in this meadow upon the banks of the Nile near the noble +city of Tanis. What, is it indeed you," continued Mambres, "who are so +famous upon the banks of your little Jordan, and the first person in the +world for raising apparitions?"</p> + +<p>"What, is it you, sir," replied Miss Endor, "who are so famous for +changing rods into serpents, the day into darkness, and rivers into +blood?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, madam, but my great age has in part deprived me of my knowledge +and power. I am ignorant from whence you have this beautiful bull, and +who these animals are that, together with you, watch round him."</p> + +<p>The old woman, recollecting herself, raised her eyes to heaven, and then +replied.</p> + +<p>"My dear Mambres. We are of the same profession, but it is expressly +forbidden me to tell you who this bull is. I can satisfy you with regard +to the other animals. You will easily know them by the marks which +characterize them. The serpent is that which persuaded Eve to eat an +apple, and to make her husband partake of it. The ass, that which spoke +to your contemporary, Balaam, in a remarkable discourse. The fish, which +always carries its head above water, is that which swallowed Jonah a few +years ago. The dog is he who followed Raphael and the young Tobit in +their journey to Ragusa in Media, in the time of the great Salamanzar. +This goat is he who expiates all the sins of your nation. The raven and +the pigeon, those which were in the ark of Noah. Great event! universal +catastrophe! of which almost all the world is still ignorant. You are +now informed. But of the bull you can know nothing."</p> + +<p>Mambres, having listened with respect, said:</p> + +<p>"The Eternal, O illustrious witch! reveals and conceals what he thinks +proper. All these animals who, together with you, are entrusted with the +custody of the white bull, are only known to your generous and agreeable +nation, which is itself unknown to almost all the world. The miracles +which you and yours, I and mine, have performed, shall one day be a +great subject of doubt and scandal to inquisitive philosophers. But +happily these miracles shall find belief with the devout sages, who +shall prove submissive to the enlightened in one corner of the world; +and this is all that is necessary."</p> + +<p>As he spoke these words, the princess pulled him by the sleeve, and said +to him,—</p> + +<p>"Mambres, will you not buy my bull?"</p> + +<p>The magician, plunged into a deep reverie, made no reply, and Amasidia +poured forth her tears.</p> + +<p>She then addressed herself to the old woman.</p> + +<p>"My good woman," said she, "I conjure you, by all you hold most dear in +the world, by your father, by your mother, by your nurse, who are +certainly still alive, to sell me not only your bull, but likewise your +pigeon, which seems very much attached to him.</p> + +<p>"As for the other animals, I do not want them; but I shall catch the +vapors if you do not sell me this charming bull, who will be all the +happiness of my life."</p> + +<p>The old woman respectfully kissed the fringe of her gauze robe, and +replied,—</p> + +<p>"Princess, my bull is not to be sold. Your illustrious magician is +acquainted with this. All that I can do for your service is, to permit +him to feed every day near your palace. You may caress him, give him +biscuits, and make him dance about at your pleasure; but he must always +be under the eyes of all these animals who accompany me, and who are +charged with the keeping of him. If he does not endeavor to escape from +them, they will prove peaceable; but if he attempt once more to break +his chain, as he did upon seeing you, woe be unto him. I would not then +answer for his life. This large fish, which you see, will certainly +swallow him, and keep him longer than <i>three</i> days in his belly; or this +serpent, who appears to you so mild, will give him a mortal sting."</p> + +<p>The white bull, who understood perfectly the old woman's conversation, +but was unable to speak, humbly accepted all the proposals. He laid +himself down at her feet; he lowed softly, and, looking tenderly at +Amasidia, seemed to say to her,</p> + +<p>"Come and see me sometimes upon the lawn."</p> + +<p>The serpent now took up the conversation:</p> + +<p>"Princess," said he, "I advise you to act implicitly, as mademoiselle of +Endor has told you."</p> + +<p>The she-ass likewise put in her word, and was of the opinion of the +serpent.</p> + +<p>Amasidia was afflicted that this serpent and this ass should speak so +well; while a beautiful bull, who had such noble and tender sentiments, +was unable to express them.</p> + +<p>"Alas," said she, in a low voice, "nothing is more common at court. One +sees there every day fine lords who cannot converse, and contemptible +wretches who speak with assurance."</p> + +<p>"This serpent," said Mambres, "is not a contemptible wretch. He is +perhaps the personage of the greatest importance."</p> + +<p>The day now declined, and the princess was obliged to return home, after +having promised to come back next day at the same hour. Her ladies of +the palace were astonished, and understood nothing of what they had seen +or heard. Mambres made reflections. The princess recollecting that the +serpent called the old woman Miss, concluded at random that she was +still unmarried, and felt some affliction that such was also her own +condition. Respectable affliction! which she concealed, however, with as +much care as the name of her lover.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IIIa" id="CHAPTER_IIIa"></a>CHAPTER III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THE BEAUTIFUL AMASIDIA HAD A SECRET CONVERSATION WITH A BEAUTIFUL +SERPENT.</span></h4> + + +<p>The beautiful princess recommended secrecy to her ladies with regard to +what they had seen. They all promised it, and kept their promise for a +whole day.</p> + +<p>We may believe that Amasidia slept little that night. An inexplicable +charm continually recalled the idea of her beautiful bull. As soon, +therefore, as she was at freedom with her wise Mambres, she said to him:</p> + +<p>"O, sage! this animal turns my head."</p> + +<p>"He employs mine very much," said Mambres. "I see plainly that this +bovine is very much superior to those of his species. I see that there +is a great mystery, and I suspect a fatal event. Your father Amasis is +suspicious and violent; and this affair requires that you conduct +yourself with the greatest precaution."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said the princess, "I have too much curiosity to be prudent. It is +the only sentiment which can unite in my heart with that which preys +upon me on account of the lover I have lost. Can I not know who this +white bull is that gives me such strange disquiet?"</p> + +<p>Mambres replied,—</p> + +<p>"I have already confessed to you, frankly, that my knowledge declines in +proportion as my age advances; but I mistake much if the serpent is not +informed of what you are so very desirous of knowing. He does not want +sense. He expresses himself with propriety. He has been long accustomed +to interfere in the affairs of the ladies."</p> + +<p>"Ah! undoubtedly," said Amasidia, "this is the beautiful serpent of +Egypt, who, by fixing his tail into his mouth, becomes the emblem of +eternity; who enlightens the world when he opens his eyes, and darkens +it when he shuts them?"</p> + +<p>"No, Miss."</p> + +<p>"It is then the serpent of Æsculapius?"</p> + +<p>"Still less."</p> + +<p>"It is perhaps Jupiter under the figure of a serpent?"</p> + +<p>"Not at all."</p> + +<p>"Ah, now I see, I see. It is the rod which you formerly changed into a +serpent?"</p> + +<p>"No, indeed, it is not; but all these serpents are of the same family. +This one has a very high character in his own country. He passes there +for the most extraordinary serpent that was ever seen. Address yourself +to him. However, I warn you it is a dangerous undertaking. Were I in +your place, I would hardly trouble myself either with the bull, the +she-ass, the he-goat, the serpent, the fish, the raven, or the pigeon. +But passion hurries you on; and all I can do is to pity you, and +tremble."</p> + +<p>The princess conjured him to procure her a tête-à-tête with the serpent. +Mambres, who was obliging, consented, and making profound reflections, +he went and communicated to the witch in so insinuating a manner the +whim of the princess, that the old woman told him Amasidia might lay her +commands upon her; that the serpent was perfectly well bred, and so +polite to the ladies, that he wished for nothing more than to oblige +them, and would not fail to keep the princess's appointment.</p> + +<p>The ancient magician returned to inform the princess of this good news; +but he still dreaded some misfortune, and made reflections.</p> + +<p>"You desire to speak with the serpent, mademoiselle. This you may +accomplish whenever your highness thinks proper. But remember you must +flatter him; for every animal has a great deal of self-love, and the +serpent in particular. It is said he was formerly driven out of heaven +for excessive pride."</p> + +<p>"I have never heard of it," replied the princess.</p> + +<p>"I believe it," said the old man.</p> + +<p>He then informed her of all the reports which had been spread about this +famous serpent.</p> + +<p>"But, my dear princess, whatever singular adventures may have happened +to him, you never can extort these secrets from him but by flattery. +Having formerly deceived women, it is equitable that a woman in her turn +should deceive him."</p> + +<p>"I will do my utmost," said the princess; and departed with her maids of +honor. The old woman was feeding the bull at a considerable distance.</p> + +<p>Mambres left Amasidia to herself, and went and discoursed with the +witch. One lady of honor chatted with the she-ass, the others amused +themselves with the goat, the dog, the raven, and the pigeon. As for the +large fish that frightened every body, he plunged himself into the Nile +by order of the old woman.</p> + +<p>The serpent then attended the beautiful Amasidia into the grove, where +they had the following conversation.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—You cannot imagine, mademoiselle, how much I am flattered with +the honor which your highness deigns to confer upon me.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—Your great reputation, sir, the beauty of your countenance, +and the brilliancy of your eyes, have emboldened me to seek for this +conversation. I know by public report (if it be not false) that you were +formerly a very great lord in the empyrean heaven.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—It is true, miss, I had there a very distinguished place. It +is pretended I am a disgraced favorite. This is a report which once went +abroad in India. The Brahmins were the first who gave a history of my +adventures. And I doubt not but one day or other the poets of the north +will make them the subject of an extravagant epic poem;<a name="FNanchor_1_14" id="FNanchor_1_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_14" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> for in truth +it is all that can be made of them. Yet I am not so much fallen, but +that I have left in this globe a very extensive dominion. I might +venture to assert that the whole earth belongs to me.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—I believe it; for they tell me that your powers of persuasion +are irresistible, and to please is to reign.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—I feel, mademoiselle, while I behold and listen to you, that +you have over me the same power which you ascribe to me over so many +others.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—You are, I believe, an amiable conqueror. It is said that +your conquests among the fair sex have been numerous, and that you began +with our common mother, whose name I have unfortunately forgotten.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—They do me injustice. She honored me with her confidence, and +I gave her the best advice. I desired that she and her husband should +eat heartily of the fruit of the tree of knowledge. I imagined in doing +this that I should please the ruler of all things. It seemed to me that +a tree so necessary to the human race was not planted to be entirely +useless. Would the supreme being have wished to have been served by +fools and idiots? Is not the mind formed for the acquisition of +knowledge and for improvement? Is not the knowledge of good and evil +necessary for doing the one and avoiding the other? I certainly merited +their thanks.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—Yet, they tell me that you have suffered for it. Probably it +is since this period that so many ministers have been punished for +giving good advice, and so many real philosophers and men of genius +persecuted for their writings that were useful to mankind.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—It is my enemies who have told you these stories. They say +that I am out of favor at court. But a proof that my influence there has +not declined, is their own confession that I entered into the council +when it was in agitation to try the good man Job; and I was again called +upon when the resolution was taken to deceive a certain petty king +called Ahab. I alone was charged with this honorable commission.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—Ah, sir! I do not believe that you are formed to deceive. But +since you are always in the ministry, may I beg a favor of you? I hope +so amiable a lord will not deny me.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—Mademoiselle, your requests are laws; name your commands.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—I intreat that you will tell me who this white bull is, for +whom I feel such extraordinary sentiments, which both affect and alarm +me. I am told that you would deign to inform me.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—Curiosity is necessary to human nature, and especially to your +amiable sex. Without it they would live in the most shameful ignorance. +I have always satisfied, as far as lay in my power, the curiosity of the +ladies. I am accused indeed of using this complaisance only to vex the +ruler of the world. I swear to you, that I could propose nothing more +agreeable to myself than to obey you; but the old woman must have +informed you that the revealing of this secret will be attended with +some danger to you.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—Ah! it is that which makes me still more curious.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—In this I discover the sex to whom I have formerly done +service.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—If you possess any feeling; if rational beings should +mutually assist each other; if you have compassion for an unfortunate +creature, do not refuse my request.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—You affect me. I must satisfy you; but do not interrupt me.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—I promise you I will not.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—-There was a young king, beautiful, charming, in love, +beloved—</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—A young king! beautiful, charming, in love, beloved! And by +whom? And who was this king? How old was he? What has become of him? +Where is his kingdom? What is his name?</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—See, I have scarce begun, and you have already interrupted me. +Take care. If you have not more command over yourself, you are undone.</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—Ah, pardon me, sir. I will not repeat my indiscretion. Go on, +I beseech you.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SERPENT</span>.—This great king, the most valiant of men, victorious wherever +he carried his arms, often dreamed when asleep, and forgot his dreams +when awake. He wanted his magicians to remember and inform him what he +had dreamed, otherwise he declared he would hang them; for that nothing +was more equitable. It is now near seven years since he dreamed a fine +dream, which he entirely forgot when he awoke; and a young Jew, full of +experience, having revealed it to him, this amiable king was immediately +changed into an ox for—</p> + +<p><span class="small">PRINCESS</span>.—Ah! it is my dear Neb——</p> + +<p>She could not finish, she fainted away. Mambres, who listened at a +distance, saw her fall, and believed her dead.<br /></p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_14" id="Footnote_1_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_14"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> A prophetic reference by the serpent to Milton's <i>Paradise +Lost</i>.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 150px;"> +<a name="serpent" id="serpent"></a> +<img src="images/img_008_snake.jpg" width="150" alt="Serpent" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 385px;"> +<a name="Nebuchadnezzar" id="Nebuchadnezzar"></a> +<img src="images/img_009_nebuchadnezzar.jpg" width="385" alt="Nebuchadnezzar.—Nebuchadnezzar, transformed into a white +bull, is recognized by Amasidia." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Nebuchadnezzar.—Nebuchadnezzar, transformed into a white +bull, is recognized by Amasidia.</span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IVa" id="CHAPTER_IVa"></a>CHAPTER IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THEY WANTED TO SACRIFICE THE BULL, AND EXORCISE THE PRINCESS.</span></h4> + + +<p>Mambres runs to her weeping. The serpent is affected. He, alas, cannot +weep; but he hisses in a mournful tone. He cries out, "She is dead." The +ass repeats, "She is dead." The raven tells it over again. All the other +animals appeared afflicted, except the fish of Jonah, which has always +been merciless. The lady of honor, the ladies of the court, arrive and +tear their hair. The white bull, who fed at a distance and heard their +cries, ran to the grove dragging the old woman after him, while his loud +bellowings made the neighboring echoes resound. To no purpose did the +ladies pour upon the expiring Amasidia their bottles of rose-water, of +pink, of myrtle, of benzoin, of balm of Gilead, of amomum, of +gilly-flower, of nutmeg, of ambergris. She had not as yet given the +smallest signs of life. But as soon as she perceived that the beautiful +white bull was beside her, she came to herself, more blooming, more +beautiful and lively than ever. A thousand times did she kiss this +charming animal, who languishingly leaned his head on her snowy bosom. +She called him, "My master, my king, my dear, my life!" She throws her +fair arms around his neck, which was whiter than the snow. The light +straw does not adhere more closely to the amber, the vine to the elm, +nor the ivy to the oak. The sweet murmur of her sighs was heard. Her +eyes were seen, now sparkling with a tender flame, and now obscured by +those precious tears which love makes us shed.</p> + +<p>We may easily judge into what astonishment the lady of honor and ladies +of her train were thrown. As soon as they entered the palace, they +related to their lovers this extraordinary adventure, and every one with +different circumstances, which increased its singularity, and which +always contributes to the variety of all histories.</p> + +<p>No sooner was Amasis, king of Tanis, informed of these events, than his +royal breast was inflamed with just indignation. Such was the wrath of +Minos, when he understood that his daughter Pasiphæ lavished her tender +favors upon the father of the Minotaur. Thus raged Juno, when she beheld +Jupiter caressing the beautiful cow Io, daughter of the river Inachus. +Following the dictates of passion, the stern Amasis imprisoned his +unhappy daughter, the beautiful Amasidia, in her chamber and placed over +her a guard of black eunuchs. He then assembled his privy council.</p> + +<p>The grand magician presided there, but had no longer the same influence +as formerly. All the ministers of state concluded that this white bull +was a sorcerer. It was quite the contrary. He was bewitched. But in +delicate affairs they are always mistaken at court.</p> + +<p>It was carried by a great majority that the princess should be +exorcised, and the old woman and the bull sacrificed.</p> + +<p>The wise Mambres contradicted not the opinion of the king and council. +The right of exorcising belonged to him. He could delay it under some +plausible pretence. The god Apis had lately died at Memphis. A god ox +dies just like another ox. And it was not allowed to exorcise any person +in Egypt until a new ox was found to replace the deceased.</p> + +<p>It was decreed in the council to wait until the nomination should be +made of a new god at Memphis.</p> + +<p>The good old man, Mambres, perceived to what danger his dear princess +was exposed. He knew who her lover was. The syllables NEBU——, which +had escaped her, laid open the whole mystery to the eyes of this sage.</p> + +<p>The dynasty of Memphis belonged at that time to the Babylonians. They +preserved this remainder of the conquests they had gained under the +greatest king of the world, to whom Amasis was a mortal enemy. Mambres +had occasion for all his wisdom to conduct himself properly in the midst +of so many difficulties. If the king Amasis should discover the lover of +his daughter, her death would be inevitable. He had sworn it. The great, +the young, the beautiful king of whom she was enamored, had dethroned +the king her father, and Amasis had only recovered his kingdom about +seven years. From that time it was not known what had become of the +adorable monarch—the conqueror and idol of the nations—the tender and +generous lover of the charming Amasidia. Sacrificing the white bull +would eventually occasion the death of the beautiful princess.<br /><br /></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 345px;"> +<a name="Lot_and_his_wayward_daughters" id="Lot_and_his_wayward_daughters"></a> +<img src="images/img_010_lot.jpg" width="345" alt="Lot and his wayward daughters leaving Sodom.—From a +celebrated picture in S. Marks, Florence, by Domenico Cresti, named il +Passigiano." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Lot and his wayward daughters leaving Sodom.—From a +celebrated picture in S. Marks, Florence, by Domenico Cresti, named il +Passigiano.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 35%;" /> +<h5><span class="maroon">DESTRUCTION OF SODOM AND GOMORRAH.<br /> +A STRANGE METAMORPHOSIS.</span></h5> + + +<blockquote><p class="block">In the preceding engraving the artist has pictured the "Cities of +the Plain" in flames, ignited by a shower of "fire and brimstone +out of heaven." Warned by an angel, Lot and his family are fleeing +from the conflagration. The madame has, however, unfortunately +changed her mind, and is seen returning toward the doomed locality. +She dearly loves her home, and braves danger—even death—in its +protection. Her husband and her children heartlessly forsake her. +Lot does not look like the coward he is represented to have been, +who basely offered to surrender his daughters to the horrible abuse +of a Sodomite mob; and the daughters—innocent and beautiful—seem +incapable of the depravity with which they are charged in the +nineteenth chapter of Genesis.</p> + +<p class="block">The comical statement that Madame Lot was transformed into "a +pillar of salt" for merely <i>looking back</i> toward her old home in +Sodom, rests on bible authority, and is believed by all the world +excepting intelligent clergymen, scientists, philosophers and +reasonable people.</p> + +<p class="block">The assertion of Mambres, (page 15), that this estimable "pillar" +has become "very sharp tasted," rests on the authority of certain +eastern travelers who claim to have examined and tasted the saline +remains of this unfortunate female. But as this last claim is based +on a French romance and not on Hebrew revelation, readers may be +pardoned for receiving it with the greatest caution. Indeed, all +that is absolutely necessary for even the orthodox to believe is +that, "once upon a time," a Sodomite matron was chemically changed +into pure chloride of sodium, and not that said sodium still +retains its sharp and acrid flavor.—E.</p></blockquote> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> +<p>What could Mambres do in such critical circumstances? He went, after the +council had broken up, to find his dear foster daughter.</p> + +<p>"My dear child," he says, "I will serve you; but I repeat it, they will +behead you if ever you pronounce the name of your lover."</p> + +<p>"Ah! what signifies my neck," replied the beautiful Amasidia, "if I +cannot embrace that of Nebu—? My father is a cruel man. He not only +refuses to give me a charming prince whom I adore, but he declares war +against him; and after he was conquered by my lover, he has found the +secret of changing him into an ox. Did one ever see more frightful +malice? If my father were not my father, I do not know what I should do +to him."</p> + +<p>"It was not your father who played him this cruel trick," said the wise +Mambres. "It was a native of Palestine, one of our ancient enemies, an +inhabitant of a little country comprehended in that crowd of kingdoms +which your lover subdued in order to polish and refine them.</p> + +<p>"Such metamorphoses must not surprise you. You know that formerly I +performed more extraordinary. Nothing was at that time more common than +those changes which at present astonish philosophers. True history, +which we have read together, informs us that Lycaon, king of Arcadia, +was changed into a wolf; the beautiful Calista, his daughter, into a +bear; Io, the daughter of Inachus, our venerable Isis, into a cow; +Daphne into a laurel; Sirinx into a flute; the fair Edith, wife of +Lot—the best and most affectionate husband and father ever known in the +world—has she not become, in our neighborhood, a pillar of salt, very +sharp tasted, which has preserved both her likeness and form, as the +great men attest who have seen it? I was witness to this change in my +youth. I saw seven powerful cities in the most dry and parched situation +in the world, all at once transformed into a beautiful lake. In the +early part of my life, the whole world was full of metamorphoses.</p> + +<p>"In fine, madam, if examples can soothe your grief, remember that Venus +changed Cerastes into an ox."</p> + +<p>"I do not know," said the princess, "that examples comfort us. If my +lover were dead, could I comfort myself by the idea that all men die?"</p> + +<p>"Your pain may at least be alleviated," replied the sage; "and since +your lover has become an ox, it is possible from an ox he may become a +man. As for me, I should deserve to be changed into a tiger or a +crocodile, if I did not employ the little power I have in the service of +a princess worthy of the adoration of the world,—if I did not labor for +the beautiful Amasidia, whom I have nursed upon my knees, and whom fatal +destiny exposes to such rude trials."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_Va" id="CHAPTER_Va"></a>CHAPTER V.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THE WISE MAMBRES CONDUCTED HIMSELF WISELY.</span></h4> + + +<p>The sage Mambres having said every thing he could to comfort the +princess, but without succeeding in so doing, ran to the old woman.</p> + +<p>"My companion," said he to her, "ours is a charming profession, but a +very dangerous one. You run the risk of being hanged, and your ox of +being burned, drowned or devoured, I don't know what they will do with +your other animals; for, prophet as I am, I know very little; but do you +carefully conceal the serpent, and the fish. Let not the one show his +head above water, nor the other venture out of his hole. I will place +the ox in one of my stables in the country. You shall be there with him, +since you say that you are not allowed to abandon him. The good +scape-goat may upon this occasion serve as an expiation. We will send +him into the desert loaded with the sins of all the rest. He is +accustomed to this ceremony, which does him no harm; and every one knows +that sin is expiated by means of a he-goat, who walks about for his own +amusement. I only beg of you to lend me immediately Tobit's dog, who is +a very swift greyhound; Balaam's ass, who runs better than a dromedary; +the raven and the pigeon of the ark, who fly with amazing swiftness. I +want to send them on an embassy to Memphis. It is an affair of great +consequence."</p> + +<p>The old woman replied to the magician:</p> + +<p>"You may dispose as you please of Tobit's dog,<a name="FNanchor_1_15" id="FNanchor_1_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_15" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> of Balaam's ass, of +the raven and the pigeon of the ark, and of the scape-goat; but my ox +cannot enter into a stable. It is said, Daniel, v:21,—That he must be +always made fast to an iron chain, be always wet with the dew of heaven, +and eat the grass of the field, and his portion be with the wild beasts.</p> + +<p>"He is entrusted to me, and I must obey. What would Daniel, Ezekiel, and +Jeremiah, think of me, if I trusted my ox to any other than to myself? I +see you know the secret of this extraordinary animal, but I have not to +reproach myself with having revealed it to you. I am going to conduct +him far from this polluted land, toward the lake Sirbon, where he will +be sheltered from the cruelties of the king of Tanis. My fish and my +serpent will defend me. I fear nobody when I serve my master."</p> + +<p>"My good woman," answered the wise Mambres, "let the will of God be +done! Provided I can find your white bull again, the lake Sirbon, the +lake Maris, or the lake of Sodom, are to me perfectly indifferent. I +want to do nothing but good to him and to you. But why have you spoken +to me of Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah?"</p> + +<p>"Ah! sir," answered the old woman, "you know as well as I what concern +they have in this important affair. But I have no time to lose. I don't +desire to be hanged. I want not that my bull should be burned, drowned, +or devoured. I go to the lake Sirbon by Canopus, with my serpent and my +fish. Adieu."</p> + +<p>The bull followed her pensively, after having testified his gratitude to +the beneficent Mambres.</p> + +<p>The wise Mambres was greatly troubled. He saw that Amasis, king of +Tanis, distracted by the strange passion of his daughter for this +animal, and believing her bewitched, would pursue everywhere the +unfortunate bull, who would infallibly be burned as a sorcerer in the +public place of Tanis, or given to the fish of Jonah, or be roasted and +served up for food. Mambres wanted at all events to save the princess +from this cruel disaster.</p> + +<p>He wrote a letter in sacred characters, to his friend, the high priest +of Memphis, upon the paper of Egypt, which was not yet in use. Here are +the identical words of this letter:</p> + +<blockquote><p>"Light of the world, lieutenant of Isis, Osiris, and Horus, chief +of the circumcised, you whose altar is justly raised above all +thrones! I am informed that your god, the ox Apis, is dead. I have +one at your service. Come quickly with your priests to acknowledge, +to worship him, and to conduct him into the stable of your temple. +May Isis, Osiris, and Horus, keep you in their holy and worthy +protection, and likewise the priests of Memphis in their holy care.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 24em;">Your affectionate friend,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 32em;">Mambres."</span><br /> +</p> +</blockquote> + +<p>He made four copies of this letter for fear of accidents, and enclosed +them in cases of the hardest ebony. Then calling to him his four +couriers, whom he had destined for this employment, (these were the ass, +the dog, the raven, and the pigeon,) he said to the ass:</p> + +<p>"I know with what fidelity you served Balaam my brother. Serve me as +faithfully. There is not an unicorn who equals you in swiftness. Go, my +dear friend, and deliver this letter to the person himself to whom it is +directed, and return."</p> + +<p>The ass answered:</p> + +<p>"Sir, as I served Balaam, I will serve you. I will go, and I will +return."</p> + +<p>The sage put the box of ebony into her mouth, and she swiftly departed. +He then called Tobit's dog.</p> + +<p>"Faithful dog," said Mambres, "more speedy in thy course than the +nimble-footed Achilles, I know what you performed for Tobit, son of +Tobit, when you and the angel Raphael accompanied him from Nineveh to +Ragusa in Medea, and from Ragusa to Nineveh, and that he brought back to +his father ten talents, which the slave Tobit, the father, had lent to +the slave Gabellus; for the slaves at that time were very rich. Carry +this letter as it is directed. It is much more valuable than ten talents +of silver."</p> + +<p>The dog then replied:</p> + +<p>"Sir, if I formerly followed the messenger Raphael, I can with equal +ease execute your commission."</p> + +<p>Mambres put the letter into his mouth.</p> + +<p>He next spoke in the same manner to the pigeon, who replied.</p> + +<p>"Sir, if I brought back a bough into the ark, I will likewise bring you +back an answer."</p> + +<p>She took the letter in her bill, and the three messengers were out of +sight in a moment. Then Mambres addressed the raven,</p> + +<p>"I know that you fed the great prophet Elijah, when he was concealed +near the torrent of Cherith, so much celebrated in the world. You +brought him every day good bread and fat pullets. I only ask of you to +carry this letter to Memphis."</p> + +<p>The raven answered in these words:</p> + +<p>"It is true, sir, that I carried every day a dinner to the great prophet +Elijah the Tishbite. I saw him mount in a chariot of fire drawn by fiery +horses, although this is not the usual method of traveling. But I always +took care to eat half the dinner myself. I am very well pleased to carry +your letter, provided you make me certain of two good meals every day, +and that I am paid money in advance for my commission."</p> + +<p>Mambres, angry, replied:</p> + +<p>"Gluttonous and malicious creature, I am not astonished that Apollo has +made you black as a mole, after being white as a swan, as you was +formerly before you betrayed in the plains of Thessaly the beautiful +Coronis, the unfortunate mother of Æsculapius. Tell me, did you eat ribs +of beef and pullets every day when you was ten whole months in the ark?"</p> + +<p>"Sir," said the raven, "we had there very good cheer. They served up +roast meat twice a day to all the fowls of my species who live upon +nothing but flesh, such as the vultures, kites, eagles, buzzards, +sparrow-hawks, owls, tarsels, falcons, great owls, and an innumerable +crowd of birds of prey. They furnished, with the most plentiful +profusion, the tables of the lions, leopards, tigers, panthers, hyænas, +wolves, bears, foxes, polecats, and all sorts of carnivorous quadrupeds. +There were in the ark eight persons of distinction, (and the only ones +who were then in the world,) continually employed in the care of our +table and our wardrobe; Noah and his wife, who were about six hundred +years old, their three sons and their three wives. It was charming to +see with what care, what dexterity, what cleanliness, our eight +domestics served four thousand of the most ravenous guests, without +reckoning the amazing trouble which about ten or twelve thousand other +animals required, from the elephant and the giraffe, to the silk-worm +and fly. What astonishes me is, that our purveyor Noah is unknown to all +the nations of whom he is the stem, but I don't much mind it. I had +already been present at a similar entertainment with Xesustres king of +Thrace. Such things as these happen from time to time for the +instruction of ravens. In a word, I want to have good cheer, and to be +paid in ready money."</p> + +<p>The wise Mambres took care not to give his letter to such a discontented +and babbling animal; and they separated very much dissatisfied with each +other.</p> + +<p>But it is necessary to know what became of the white bull, and not to +lose sight of the old woman and the serpent. Mambres ordered his +intelligent and faithful domestics to follow them; and as for himself, +he advanced in a litter by the side of the Nile, always making +reflections.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;"> +<a name="Daniel_Ezekiel_and_Jeremiah" id="Daniel_Ezekiel_and_Jeremiah"></a> +<img src="images/img_011_daniel.jpg" width="350" alt="Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah.—"A boatman singing a +jovial song, made fast a small boat by the side of the river, and three +grave personages, half clothed in dirty, tattered garments, landed from +it; but preserved, under the garb of poverty the most majestic and +august air. These strangers were Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah."</span> +</div> + +<p><br />"How is it possible," said he to himself, "that a serpent should be +master of almost all the world, as he boasts, and as so many learned men +acknowledge, and that he nevertheless obeys an old woman? How is it, +that he is sometimes called to the council of the Most High, while he +creeps upon earth? In what manner can he enter by his power alone into +the bodies of men, and that so many men pretend to dislodge him by means +of words? In short, why does he pass with a small neighboring people, +for having ruined the human race? And how is it that the human race are +entirely ignorant of this? I am old, I have studied all my life, but I +see a crowd of inconsistencies which I cannot reconcile. I cannot +account for what has happened to myself, neither for the great things +which I long ago performed, nor those of which I have been witness. +Every thing well considered, I begin to think that this world subsists +by contradictions, <i>rerum concordia discors</i>, as my master Zoroaster +formerly said."</p> + +<p>While he was plunged in this obscure metaphysical reasoning,—obscure +like all metaphysics,—a boatman singing a jovial song, made fast a +small boat by the side of the river, and three grave personages, half +clothed in dirty tattered garments, landed from it; but preserved, under +the garb of poverty, the most majestic and august air. These strangers +were Daniel, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah.<br /></p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_15" id="Footnote_1_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_15"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> "Histories," says Pope, in his <i>Poetical Works</i>, vol. 4, p. +245, "are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends, +but: I will only say for the honor of dogs, that the two most ancient +and estimable books, sacred and profane, extant, viz. the Scripture and +Homer, have shown a particular regard to these animals. That of Tobit is +the most remarkable, because there seemed no manner of reason to take +notice of the dog, besides the great humanity of the author. ['And the +dog went after them,' <i>Tobit</i>, xi: 4.] Homer's account of Ulysses's dog, +Argus, is the most pathetic imaginable, all the circumstances +considered, and an excellent proof of the old bard's good nature.... +Plutarch, relating how the Athenians were obliged to abandon Athens in +the time of Themistocles, steps back again out of the way of his +history, purely to describe the lamentable cries and howlings of the +poor dogs they left behind. He makes mention of one that followed his +master across the sea to Salamis, where he died, and was honored with a +tomb by the Athenians, who gave the name of the Dog's Grave to that part +of the island where he was buried. This respect to a dog, in the most +polite people of the world, is very observable. A modern instance of +gratitude to a dog is, that the chief order of Denmark, (now injuriously +called the order of the elephant), was instituted in memory of the +fidelity of a dog, named Wildbrat, to one of their kings who had been +deserted by his subjects. He gave his order this motto, or to this +effect, (which still remains), 'Wildbrat was faithful.' Sir William +Trumbull has told me a story, which he heard from one that was present. +King Charles I. being with some of his Court, during his troubles, a +discourse arose what sort of dogs deserved pre-eminence, and it being on +all hands agreed to belong either to the spaniel or greyhound, the King +gave his opinion on the part of the greyhound, because (said he) it has +all the good-nature of the other without the fawning." +</p><p> +This satire upon fawning would no doubt have been as applicable to the +court of king Amasis as to that of Charles I., for fawning has ever been +the besetting sin of dogs and courtiers. +</p><p> +It is indeed a grand testimonial to the value of the greyhound, that his +fleetness and fidelity were appreciated by Mambres, the great Egyptian +magician, five thousand years before they were endorsed by the +unfortunate English king. Miss Endor, Homer, Ulysses, Mambres, Tobit, +Plutarch, the polite Athenians, Charles I., and Alexander Pope are +certainly as respectable a list of references as the most aristocratic +greyhound could desire.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VIa" id="CHAPTER_VIa"></a>CHAPTER VI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW MAMBRES MET THREE PROPHETS, AND GAVE THEM A GOOD DINNER.</span></h4> + + +<p>These three great men who had the prophetic light in their countenance, +knew the wise Mambres to be one of their brethren, by some marks of the +same light which he had still remaining, and prostrated themselves +before his litter. Mambres likewise knew them to be prophets, more by +their uncouth dress, than by those gleams of fire which proceeded from +their august heads. He conjectured that they came to learn news of the +white bull; and conducting himself with his usual propriety, he alighted +from his carriage and advanced a few steps toward them, with dignified +politeness. He raised them up, caused tents to be erected, and prepared +a dinner, of which he rightly judged that the prophets had very great +need.</p> + +<p>He invited the old woman to it, who was only about five hundred paces +from them. She accepted the invitation, and arrived leading her white +bull.</p> + +<p>Two soups were served up, one <i>de Bisque</i>, and the other <i>a la Reine</i>. +The first course consisted of a carp's tongue pie, livers of eel-pouts, +and pikes; fowls dressed with pistachios, pigeons with truffles and +olives; two young turkeys with gravy of cray fish, mushrooms, and +morels; and a chipotata. The second course was composed of pheasants, +partridges, quails, and ortalons, with four salads; the epergne was in +the highest taste; nothing could be more delicious than the side dishes, +nothing more brilliant and more ingenious than the dessert. But the wise +Mambres took great care to have no boiled beef, nor short ribs, nor +tongue, nor palate of an ox, nor cows' udder, lest the unfortunate +monarch near at hand should think that they insulted him.</p> + +<p>This great and unfortunate prince was feeding near the tent; and never +did he feel in a more cruel manner the fatal revolution which had +deprived him of his throne for seven long years.</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said he, to himself, "this Daniel who has changed me into a +bull, and this sorceress my keeper, make the best cheer in the world; +while I, the sovereign of Asia, am reduced to the necessity of eating +grass, and drinking water."</p> + +<p>When they had drank heartily of the wine of Engaddi, of Tadmor, and of +Sebiras, the prophets and the witch conversed with more frankness than +at the first course.</p> + +<p>"I must acknowledge," said Daniel, "that I did not live so well in the +lion's den."</p> + +<p>"What, sir," said Mambres, "did they put you into a den of lions? How +came you not to be devoured?"</p> + +<p>"Sir," said Daniel, "you know very well that lions never eat prophets."</p> + +<p>"As for me," said Jeremiah, "I have passed my whole life starving of +hunger. This is the only day I ever ate a good meal; and were I to spend +my life over again, and had it in my power to choose my condition, I +must own I would much rather be comptroller-general or bishop of +Babylon, than prophet at Jerusalem."</p> + +<p>Ezekiel cried, "I was once ordered to sleep three hundred and ninety +days upon my left side, and to eat all that time bread of wheat, and +barley, and beans, and lentiles, cooked in the strangest manner. Still I +must own that the cookery of Seigneur Mambres is much more delicate. +However, the prophetic trade has its advantages, and the proof is, that +there are many who follow it."</p> + +<p>After they had spoken thus freely, Mambres entered upon business. He +asked the three pilgrims the reason of their journey into the dominions +of the king of Tanis. Daniel replied, "That the kingdom of Babylon had +been all in a flame since Nebuchadnezzar had disappeared: that according +to the custom of the court, they had persecuted all the prophets, who +passed their lives in sometimes seeing kings humbled at their feet, and +sometimes receiving a hundred lashes from them; that at length they had +been obliged to take refuge in Egypt for fear of being starved."</p> + +<p>Ezekiel and Jeremiah likewise spoke a long time in such fine terms, that +it was almost impossible to understand them. As for the witch, she had +always a strict eye over her charge. The fish of Jonah continued in the +Nile, opposite to the tent, and the serpent sported upon the grass. +After drinking coffee, they took a walk by the side of the Nile; and the +white bull, perceiving the three prophets, his enemies, bellowed most +dreadfully, ran furiously at them, and gored them with his horns. As +prophets never have anything but skin upon their bones, he would +certainly have run them through; but the ruler of the world, who sees +all and remedies all, changed them immediately into magpies; and they +continued to chatter as before. The same thing happened since to the +Pierides;<a name="FNanchor_1_16" id="FNanchor_1_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_16" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> so much has fable always imitated sacred history.</p> + +<p>This incident caused new reflections in the mind of Mambres.</p> + +<p>"Here," said he, "are three great prophets changed into magpies. This +ought to teach us never to speak too much, and always to observe a +suitable discretion."</p> + +<p>He concluded that wisdom was better than eloquence, and thought +profoundly as usual; when a great and terrible spectacle presented +itself to his eyes.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_16" id="Footnote_1_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_16"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The nine daughters of Pierus, king of Emathia, were called +Pierides. They entered into a contest with the Muses, and being +conquered were metamorphosed into birds.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VIIa" id="CHAPTER_VIIa"></a>CHAPTER VII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW KING AMASIS WANTED TO GIVE THE WHITE BULL TO BE DEVOURED BY THE FISH +OF JONAH, AND DID NOT DO IT.</span></h4> + + +<p>Clouds of dust floated from south to north. The noise of drums, fifes, +psalteries, harps, and sackbuts was heard. Several squadrons and +battalions advanced, and Amasis, king of Tanis, was at their head upon +an Arabian horse caparisoned with scarlet trappings embroidered with +gold. The heralds proclaimed that they should seize the white bull, bind +him, and throw him into the Nile, to be devoured by the fish of Jonah; +"for the king our lord, who is just, wants to revenge himself upon the +white bull, who has bewitched his daughter."</p> + +<p>The good old man Mambres made more reflections than ever. He saw very +plainly that the malicious raven had told all to the king, and that the +princess ran a great risk of being beheaded.</p> + +<p>"My dear friend," said he to the serpent, "go quickly and comfort the +fair Amasidia, my foster daughter. Bid her fear nothing whatever may +happen, and tell her stories to alleviate her inquietude; for stories +always amuse the ladies, and it is only by interesting them that one can +succeed in the world."</p> + +<p>Mambres next prostrated himself before Amasis, king of Tanis, and thus +addressed him:</p> + +<p>"O king, live for ever! The white bull should certainly be sacrificed, +for your majesty is always in the right, but the ruler of the world has +said, this bull must not be swallowed up by the fish of Jonah till +Memphis shall have found a god to supply the place of him who is dead. +Then thou shalt be revenged, and thy daughter exorcised, for she is +possessed. Your piety is too great not to obey the commands of the ruler +of the universe."</p> + +<p>Amasis, king of Tanis, remained for some time silent and in deep +thought.</p> + +<p>"The god Apis," said he, at length, "is dead! God rest his soul! When do +you think another ox will be found to reign over the fruitful Egypt?"</p> + +<p>"Sire," replied Mambres, "I ask but eight days."</p> + +<p>"I grant them to you," replied the king, who was very religious, "and I +will remain here the eight days. At the expiration of that time I will +sacrifice the enemy of my daughter."</p> + +<p>Amasis immediately ordered that his tents, cooks, and musicians should +be brought, and remained here eight days, as it is related in Manethon.</p> + +<p>The old woman was in despair that the bull she had in charge had but +eight days to live. She raised phantoms every night, in order to +dissuade the king from his cruel resolution; but Amasis forgot in the +morning the phantoms he had seen in the night; similar to +Nebuchadnezzar, who had always forgotten his dreams.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VIIIa" id="CHAPTER_VIIIa"></a>CHAPTER VIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THE SERPENT TOLD STORIES TO THE PRINCESS TO COMFORT HER.</span></h4> + + +<p>Meanwhile the serpent told stories to the fair Amasidia to soothe her. +He related to her how he had formerly cured a whole nation of the bite +of certain little serpents, only by showing himself at the end of a +staff. (<i>Num. xx:9.</i>) He informed her of the conquests of a hero who +made a charming contrast with Amphion, architect of Thebes. Amphion +assembled hewn stones by the sound of his violin. To build a city he had +only to play a rigadoon and a minuet; but the other hero destroyed them +by the sound of rams' horns. He executed thirty-one powerful kings in a +country of four leagues in length and four in breadth. He made stones +rain down from heaven upon a battalion of routed Amorites; and having +thus exterminated them, he stopped the sun and moon at noon-day between +Gibeon and Ajalon, in the road to Beth-horon, to exterminate them still +more, after the example of Bacchus, who had stopped the sun and the moon +in his journey to the Indies.</p> + +<p>The prudence which every serpent ought to have, did not allow him to +tell the fair Amasidia of the powerful Jephthah, who made a vow and +beheaded his daughter, because he had gained a battle. This would have +struck terror into the mind of the fair princess. But he related to her +the adventures of the great Sampson, who killed a thousand Philistines +with the jaw-bone of an ass, who tied together three hundred foxes by +the tail, and who fell into the snares of a lady, less beautiful, less +tender, and less faithful than the charming Amasidia.</p> + +<p>He related to her the story of the unfortunate Sechem and Dinah, as well +as the more celebrated adventures of Ruth and Boaz; those of Judah and +Tamar; those even of Lot's two daughters; those of Abraham and Jacob's +servant maids; those of Reuben and Bilhah; those of David and +Bath-sheba; and those of the great king Solomon. In short, every thing +which could dissipate the grief of a fair princess.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IXa" id="CHAPTER_IXa"></a>CHAPTER IX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THE SERPENT DID NOT COMFORT THE PRINCESS.</span></h4> + + +<p>"All these stories tire me," said Amasidia, for she had understanding +and taste. "They are good for nothing but to be commented upon among the +Irish by that madman Abbadie, or among the Welsh by that prattler +d'Houteville. Stories which might have amused the great, great, great +grandmother of my grandmother, appear insipid to me who have been +educated by the wise Mambres, and who have read <i>Human Understanding</i> by +the Egyptian philosopher named Locke<a name="FNanchor_1_17" id="FNanchor_1_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_17" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> and the <i>Matron of Ephesus</i>. I +choose that a story should be founded on probability, and not always +resemble a dream. I desire to find nothing in it trivial or extravagant; +and I desire above all, that under the appearance of fable there may +appear some latent truth, obvious to the discerning eye, though it +escape the observation of the vulgar."</p> + +<p>"I am weary of a sun and of a moon which an old beldam disposes of at +her pleasure, of mountains which dance, of rivers which return to their +sources, and of dead men who rise again; but I am above measure +disgusted when such insipid stories are written in a bombastic and +unintelligible manner. A lady who expects to see her lover swallowed up +by a great fish, and who is apprehensive of being beheaded by her own +father, has need of amusement; but suit amusement to my taste."</p> + +<p>"You impose a difficult task upon me," replied the serpent. "I could +have formerly made you pass a few hours agreeably enough, but for some +time past I have lost both my imagination and memory. Alas! what has +become of those faculties with which I formerly amused the ladies? Let +me try, however, if I can recollect one moral tale for your +entertainment.</p> + +<p>"Five and twenty thousand years ago king Gnaof and queen Patra reigned +in Thebes with its hundred gates. King Gnaof was very handsome, and +queen Patra still more beautiful. But their home was unblest with +children, and no heirs were born to continue the royal race.</p> + +<p>"The members of the faculty of medicine and of the academy of surgery +wrote excellent treatises upon this subject. The queen was sent to drink +mineral waters; she fasted and prayed; she made magnificent presents to +the temple of Jupiter Ammon, but all was to no purpose. At length a——"</p> + +<p>"Mon Dieu!" said the princess, "but I see where this leads. This story +is too common, and I must likewise tell you that it offends my modesty. +Relate some very true and moral story, which I have never yet heard, to +complete the improvement of my understanding and my heart, as the +Egyptian professor Lenro says."</p> + +<p>"Here then, madam," said the beautiful serpent, "is one most +incontestably authentic.</p> + +<p>"There were three prophets all equally ambitious and discontented with +their condition. They had in common the folly to wish to be kings: for +there is only one step from the rank of a prophet to that of a monarch, +and man always aspires to the highest step in the ladder of fortune. In +other respects, their inclinations and their pleasures were totally +different. The first preached admirably to his assembled brethren, who +applauded him by clapping their hands; the second was distractedly fond +of music; and the third was a passionate lover of the fair sex.</p> + +<p>"The angel Ithuriel presented himself one day to them when they were at +table discoursing on the sweets of royalty.</p> + +<p>"'The ruler of the world,' said the angel to them, 'sends me to you to +reward your virtue. Not only shall you be kings, but you shall +constantly satisfy your ruling passions. Your first prophet, I make king +of Egypt, and you shall continually preside in your council, who shall +applaud your eloquence and your wisdom; and you, second prophet, I make +king over Persia, and you shall continually hear most heavenly music; +and you, third prophet, I make king of India, and I give you a charming +mistress who shall never forsake you.'</p> + +<p>"He to whose lot Egypt fell, began his reign by assembling his council, +which was composed only of two hundred sages. He made them a long and +eloquent speech, which was very much applauded, and the monarch enjoyed +the pleasing satisfaction of intoxicating himself with praises +uncorrupted by flattery.</p> + +<p>"The council for foreign affairs succeeded to the privy council. This +was much more numerous; and a new speech received still greater +encomiums. And it was the same in the other councils. There was not a +moment of intermission in the pleasures and glory of the prophet king of +Egypt. The fame of his eloquence filled the world.</p> + +<p>"The prophet king of Persia began his reign by an Italian opera, whose +choruses were sung by fifteen hundred eunuchs. Their voices penetrated +his soul even to the very marrow of the bones, where it resides. To this +opera succeeded another, and to the second a third, without +interruption.</p> + +<p>"The king of India shut himself up with his mistress, and enjoyed +perfect pleasure in her society. He considered the necessity of always +flattering her as the highest felicity, and pitied the wretched +situation of his two brethren, of whom one was obliged always to convene +his council, and the other to be continually at an opera.</p> + +<p>"It happened at the end of a few days, that each of these kings became +disgusted with his occupation, and beheld from his window, certain +wood-cutters who came from an ale-house, and who were going to work in a +neighboring forest. They walked arm in arm with their sweet-hearts, with +whom they were happy. The kings begged of the angel Ithuriel, that he +would intercede with the ruler of the world, and make them +wood-cutters."</p> + +<p>"I do not know whether the ruler of the world granted their request or +not," interrupted the tender Amasidia, "and I do not care much about it; +but I know very well that I should ask for nothing of any one, were I +with my lover, with my dear NEBUCHADNEZZAR!"</p> + +<p>The vaults of the palace resounded this mighty name. At first Amasidia +had only pronounced Ne—, afterwards Neb—, then Nebu——. At length +passion hurried her on, and she pronounced entire the fatal name, +notwithstanding the oath she had sworn to the king, her father. All the +ladies of the court repeated Nebuchadnezzar, and the malicious raven did +not fail to carry the tidings to the king. The countenance of Amasis, +king of Tanis, sunk, because his heart was troubled. And thus it was +that the serpent, the wisest and most subtle of animals, always beguiled +the women, thinking to do them service.</p> + +<p>Amasis, in a fury, sent twelve alguazils for his daughter. These men are +always ready to execute barbarous orders, because they are paid for it.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_17" id="Footnote_1_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_17"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The doctrine of metempsychosis must be relied upon to +explain this seeming anachronism.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 225px;"> +<a name="Egyptian_priests" id="Egyptian_priests"></a> +<img src="images/img_012_priests.jpg" width="225" alt="Egyptian priests" title= "" /> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_Xa" id="CHAPTER_Xa"></a>CHAPTER X.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THEY WANTED TO BEHEAD THE PRINCESS, AND DID NOT DO IT.</span></h4> + + +<p>No sooner had the princess entered the camp of the king, than he said to +her: "My daughter, you know that all princesses who disobey their +fathers are put to death; without which it would be impossible that a +kingdom could be well governed. I charged you never to mention the name +of your lover, Nebuchadnezzar, my mortal enemy, who dethroned me about +seven years ago, and disappeared. In his place, you have chosen a white +bull, and you have cried Nebuchadnezzar. It is just that I behead you."</p> + +<p>The princess replied: "My father, thy will be done: but grant me some +time to bewail my sad fate."</p> + +<p>"That is reasonable," said King Amasis; "and it is a rule established +among the most judicious princes. I give you a whole day to bewail your +destiny, since it is your desire. To-morrow, which is the eighth day of +my encampment, I will cause the white bull to be swallowed up by the +fish, and I will behead you precisely at nine o'clock in the morning."</p> + +<p>The beautiful Amasidia then went forth in sorrow, to bewail her father's +cruelty, and wandered by the side of the Nile, accompanied with the +ladies of her train.</p> + +<p>The wise Mambres pondered beside her, and reckoned the hours and the +moments.</p> + +<p>"Well! my dear Mambres," said she to him, "you have changed the waters +of the Nile into blood, according to custom, and cannot you change the +heart of Amasis, king of Tanis, my father? Will you suffer him to behead +me to-morrow, at nine o'clock in the morning?"</p> + +<p>"That depends," replied the reflecting Mambres, "upon the speed and +diligence of my couriers."</p> + +<p>The next day, as soon as the shadows of the obelisks and pyramids marked +upon the ground the ninth hour of the day, the white bull was securely +bound, to be thrown to the fish of Jonah; and they brought to the king +his large sabre.</p> + +<p>"Alas! alas!" said Nebuchadnezzar to himself, "I, a king, have been a +bull for near seven years; and scarcely have I found the mistress I had +lost when I am condemned to be devoured by a fish."</p> + +<p>Never had the wise Mambres made such profound reflections; and he was +quite absorbed in his melancholy thoughts when he saw at a distance all +he expected. An innumerable crowd drew nigh. Three figures of Isis, +Osiris, and Horus, joined together, advanced, drawn in a carriage of +gold and precious stones, by a hundred senators of Memphis, preceded by +a hundred girls, playing upon the sacred sistrums. Four thousand +priests, with their heads shaved, were each mounted upon a hippopotamus.</p> + +<p>At a great distance, appeared with the same pomp, the sheep of Thebes, +the dog of Babastes, the cat of Phoebe, the crocodile of Arsinoe, the +goat of Mendez, and all the inferior gods of Egypt, who came to pay +homage to the great ox, to the mighty Apis, as powerful as Isis, Osiris, +and Horus, united together.</p> + +<p>In the midst of the demi-gods, forty priests carried an enormous basket, +filled with sacred onions. These were, it is true, gods, but they +resembled onions very much.</p> + +<p>On both sides of this aisle of gods, followed by an innumerable crowd of +people, marched forty thousand warriors, with helmets on their heads, +scimitars upon their left thighs, quivers at their shoulders, and bows +in their hands.</p> + +<p>All the priests sang in chorus, with a harmony which ravished the soul, +and which melted it.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Alas! alas! our ox is dead—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">We'll have a finer in its stead."</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>And at every pause was heard the sound of the sistrums, of cymbals, of +tabors, of psalteries, of bagpipes, harps, and sackbuts.</p> + +<p>Amasis, king of Tanis, astonished at this spectacle, beheaded not his +daughter. He sheathed his scimitar.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 100px;"> +<a name="Winged_bull" id="Winged_bull"></a> +<img src="images/img_013_winged_bull.jpg" width="100" alt="Winged bull" title="" /> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XIa" id="CHAPTER_XIa"></a>CHAPTER XI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">APOTHEOSIS OF THE WHITE BULL. TRIUMPH OF THE WISE MAMBRES. THE SEVEN +YEARS PROCLAIMED BY DANIEL ARE ACCOMPLISHED. NEBUCHADNEZZAR RESUMES THE +HUMAN FORM, MARRIES THE BEAUTIFUL AMASIDIA, AND ASCENDS THE THRONE OF +BABYLON.</span></h4> + + +<p>"Great king," said Mambres to him, "the order of things is now changed. +Your majesty must set the example. O king! quickly unbind the white +bull, and be the first to adore him."</p> + +<p>Amasis obeyed, and prostrated himself with all his people. The high +priest of Memphis presented to the new god Apis the first handful of +hay; the Princess Amasidia tied to his beautiful horse festoons of +roses, anemonies, ranunculuses, tulips, pinks, and hyacinths. She took +the liberty to kiss him, but with a profound respect. The priests +strewed palms and flowers on the road by which they were to conduct him +to Memphis. And the wise Mambres, still making reflections, whispered to +his friend, the serpent:</p> + +<p>"<i>Daniel changed this monarch into a bull, and I have changed this bull +into a god!"</i></p> + +<p>They returned to Memphis in the same order, and the king of Tanis, in +some confusion, followed the band. Mambres, with a serene and diplomatic +air, walked by his side. The old woman came after, much amazed. She was +accompanied by the serpent, the dog, the she-ass, the raven, the pigeon, +and the scape-goat. The great fish mounted up the Nile. Daniel, Ezekiel, +and Jeremiah, changed into magpies, brought up the rear.</p> + +<p>When they had reached the frontiers of the kingdom, which are not far +distant, King Amasis took leave of the bull Apis, and said to his +daughter:</p> + +<p>"My daughter, let us return into my dominions, that I may behead you, as +it has been determined in my royal breast, because you have pronounced +the name of Nebuchadnezzar, my enemy, who dethroned me seven years ago. +When a father has sworn to behead his daughter, he must either fulfill +his oath, or sink into hell for ever; and I will not damn myself out of +love for you."</p> + +<p>The fair princess Amasidia replied to the King Amasis:</p> + +<p>"My dear father, whom it pleases you go and behead, but it shall not be +me. I am now in the territories of Isis, Osiris, Horus, and Apis. I will +never forsake my beautiful white bull, and I will continue to kiss him, +till I have seen his apotheosis in his stable in the holy city of +Memphis. It is a weakness pardonable in a young lady of high birth."</p> + +<p>Scarce had she spoken these words, when the ox Apis cried out:</p> + +<p>"My dear Amasidia, I will love you whilst I live!"</p> + +<p>This was the first time that the god Apis had been heard to speak during +the forty thousand years that he had been worshiped.</p> + +<p>The serpent and the she-ass cried out, "the seven years are +accomplished!" And the three magpies repeated, "the seven years are +accomplished!"</p> + +<p>All the priests of Egypt raised their hands to heaven.</p> + +<p>The god on a sudden was seen to lose his two hind legs, his two fore +legs were changed into two human legs; two white strong muscular arms +grew from his shoulders; his taurine visage was changed to the face of a +charming hero; and he once more became the most beautiful of mortals.</p> + +<p>"I choose," cried he, "rather to be the lover of the beautiful Amasidia +than a god. I am NEBUCHADNEZZAR, KING OF KINGS!"</p> + +<p>This metamorphosis astonished all the world, except the wise Mambres. +But what surprised nobody was, that Nebuchadnezzar immediately married +the fair Amasidia in presence of this assembly.</p> + +<p>He left his father-in-law in quiet possession of the kingdom of Tanis; +and made noble provision for the she-ass, the serpent, the dog, the +pigeon, and even for the raven, the three magpies, and the large fish; +showing to all the world that he knew how to forgive as well as to +conquer.</p> + +<p>The old woman had a considerable pension placed at her disposal.</p> + +<p>The scape-goat was sent for a day into the wilderness, that all past +sins might be expiated; and had afterwards twelve sprightly goats for +his companions.</p> + +<p>The wise Mambres returned to his palace, and made reflections.</p> + +<p>Nebuchadnezzar, after having embraced the magician, his benefactor, +governed in tranquillity the kingdoms of Memphis, Babylon, Damascus, +Balbec, Tyre, Syria, Asia Minor, Scythia, the countries of Thiras, +Mosok, Tubal, Madai, Gog, Magog, Javan, Sogdiana, Aroriana, the Indies, +and the Isles; and the people of this vast empire cried out aloud every +morning at the rising of the sun:</p> + +<p><i>"Long live great Nebuchadnezzar, king of kings, who is no longer an +ox!"</i></p> + +<p>Since which time it has been a custom in Babylon, when the sovereign, +deceived by his satraps, his magicians, treasurers or wives, at length +acknowledges his errors, and amends his conduct, for all the people to +cry out at his gate:</p> + +<p><i>Long live our great king, who is no longer an ox.</i> +<br /><br /></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;"> +<a name="The_scape-goat" id="The_scape-goat"></a> +<img src="images/img_014_goat.jpg" width="350" alt="The scape-goat" title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The scape-goat</span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="ZADIG_OR_FATE" id="ZADIG_OR_FATE"></a>ZADIG; OR FATE.</h2> + +<h4>AN ORIENTAL HISTORY.</h4> + + +<h5><a name="APPROBATION" id="APPROBATION"></a>APPROBATION.</h5> +<blockquote><p>I, the underwritten, who have obtained the character of a learned, +and even of an ingenious man, have read this manuscript, which, in +spite of myself, I have found to be curious, entertaining, moral, +philosophical, and capable of affording pleasure even to those who +hate romances. I have therefore decried it; and have assured the +cadi-lesquier that it is an abominable performance.</p> +</blockquote> +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h5><a name="EPISTLE_DEDICATORY_TO_THE_SULTANA_SERAA" id="EPISTLE_DEDICATORY_TO_THE_SULTANA_SERAA"></a>EPISTLE DEDICATORY TO THE SULTANA SERAA.</h5> + + +<blockquote><p><i>The 18th of the month Schewal, in the 837th year of the Hegira.</i></p> + + +<p>Delight of the eyes, torment of the heart, and light of the mind, I +kiss not the dust of thy feet, because thou never walkest; or +walkest only on the carpets of Iran, or in paths strewn with roses.</p> + +<p>I offer thee the translation of a book, written by an ancient sage, +who, having the happiness to have nothing to do, amused himself in +composing the <i>History of Zadig</i>; a work which performs more than +it promises.</p> + +<p>I beseech thee to read and examine it; for, though thou art in the +spring of life, and every pleasure courts thee to its embrace; +though thou art beautiful, and thy beauty be embellished by thy +admirable talents; though thou art praised from morning to evening, +and, on all these accounts, hast a right to be devoid of common +sense, yet thou hast a sound judgment and a fine taste; and I have +heard thee reason with more accuracy than the old dervises, with +their long beards and pointed bonnets.</p> + +<p>Thou art discreet without being distrustful; gentle without +weakness; and beneficent with discernment. Thou lovest thy friends, +and makest thyself no enemies. Thy wit never borrows its charms +from the shafts of detraction. Thou neither sayest nor doest any +ill, notwithstanding that both are so much in thy power.</p> + +<p>In a word, thy soul hath always appeared to me to be as pure and +unsullied as thy beauty. Besides, thou hast some little knowledge +in philosophy, which makes me believe that thou wilt take more +pleasure than others of thy sex in perusing the work of this +venerable sage.</p> + +<p>It was originally written in the ancient Chaldee, a language which +neither thou nor I understand. It was afterward translated into the +Arabic, to amuse the famous sultan Oulougbeg, much about the time +that the Arabians and the Persians began to write the <i>Thousand and +One Nights</i>, the <i>Thousand and One Days</i>, <i>etc.</i></p> + +<p>Ouloug was fond of reading <i>Zadig</i>, but the sultanas were fonder of +the <i>Thousand and One</i>. "How can you prefer," said the wise Ouloug +to them, "those stories which have neither sense nor meaning?" "It +is for that very reason," replied the sultanas, "that we prefer +them."</p> + +<p>I flatter myself that thou wilt not resemble these, thy +predecessors; but that thou wilt be a true Ouloug. I even hope, +that when thou art tired with those general conversations, which +differ from the <i>Thousand and One</i> in nothing but in being less +agreeable, I shall have the honor to entertain thee for a moment +with a rational discourse.</p> + +<p>Hadst thou been Thalestris in the time of Scander, the son of +Philip; hadst thou been the Queen of Sheba in the time of Solomon; +these are the very kings that would have paid thee a visit.</p> + +<p>I pray the heavenly powers, that thy pleasures may be unmixed, thy +beauty never fading, and thy happiness without end.</p> + +<p> +SADI.<br /> +<br /><br /> +</p></blockquote> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 560px;"> +<a name="Caravan" id="Caravan"></a> +<img src="images/img_015_zadig.jpg" width="560" alt="Caravan" title="" /> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3>ZADIG: OR, FATE</h3> + +<h3><a name="Iz" id="Iz"></a>I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE BLIND OF ONE EYE.</span></h4> + + +<p>There lived at Babylon, in the reign of King Moabdar, a young man, named +Zadig, of a good natural disposition, strengthened and improved by +education. Though rich and young, he had learned to moderate his +passions. He had nothing stiff or affected in his behavior. He did not +pretend to examine every action by the strict rules of reason, but was +always ready to make proper allowances for the weakness of mankind. It +was a matter of surprise, that, notwithstanding his sprightly wit, he +never exposed by his raillery those vague, incoherent, and noisy +discourses; those rash censures, ignorant decisions, coarse jests, and +all that empty jingle of words which at Babylon went by the name of +conversation. He had learned, in the first book of Zoroaster, that +self-love is a foot-ball swelled with wind, from which, when pierced, +the most terrible tempests issue forth. Above all, Zadig never boasted +of his conquests among the women, nor affected to entertain a +contemptible opinion of the fair sex. He was generous, and was never +afraid of obliging the ungrateful; remembering the grand precept of +Zoroaster, "When thou eatest, give to the dogs, should they even bite +thee." He was as wise as it is possible for man to be, for he sought to +live with the wise. Instructed in the sciences of the ancient Chaldeans, +he understood the principles of natural philosophy, such as they were +then supposed to be; and knew as much of metaphysics as hath ever been +known in any age, that is, little or nothing at all. He was firmly +persuaded, notwithstanding the new philosophy of the times, that the +year consisted of three hundred and sixty-five days and six hours, and +that the sun was the centre of the solar system. When the principal magi +told him, with a haughty and contemptuous air, that his sentiments were +of a dangerous tendency, and that it was to be an enemy to the state to +believe that the sun revolved round its own axis, and that the year had +twelve months, he held his tongue with great modesty and meekness.</p> + +<p>Possessed as he was of great riches, and consequently of many friends, +blessed with a good constitution, a handsome figure, a mind just and +moderate, and a heart noble and sincere, he fondly imagined that he +might easily be happy. He was going to be married to Semira, who, in +point of beauty, birth, and fortune, was the first match in Babylon. He +had a real and virtuous affection for this lady, and she loved him with +the most passionate fondness. The happy moment was almost arrived that +was to unite them for ever in the bands of wedlock, when happening to +take a walk together toward one of the gates of Babylon, under the +palm-trees that adorn the banks of the Euphrates, they saw some men +approaching, armed with sabres and arrows. These were the attendants of +young Orcan, the minister's nephew, whom his uncle's creatures had +flattered into an opinion that he might do everything with impunity. He +had none of the graces nor virtues of Zadig; but thinking himself a much +more accomplished man, he was enraged to find that the other was +preferred before him. This jealousy, which was merely the effect of his +vanity, made him imagine that he was desperately in love with Semira; +and accordingly he resolved to carry her off. The ravishers seized her; +in the violence of the outrage, they wounded her, and made the blood +flow from a person, the sight of which would have softened the tigers +of mount Imaus. She pierced the heavens with her complaints. She cried +out: "My dear husband! they tear me from the man I adore!"</p> + +<p>Regardless of her own danger, she was only concerned for the fate of her +dear Zadig, who, in the meantime, defended himself with all the strength +that courage and love could inspire. Assisted only by two faithful +slaves, he put the cowardly ravishers to flight, and carried home +Semira, insensible and bloody as she was.</p> + +<p>"O Zadig," said she, on opening her eyes, and beholding her deliverer, +"I loved thee formerly as my intended husband, I now love thee as the +preserver of my honor and my life!"</p> + +<p>Never was heart more deeply affected than that of Semira. Never did a +more charming mouth express more moving sentiments, in those glowing +words inspired by a sense of the greatest of all favors, and by the most +tender transports of a lawful passion. Her wound was slight, and was +soon cured. Zadig was more dangerously wounded. An arrow had pierced him +near his eye, and penetrated to a considerable depth, Semira wearied +heaven with her prayers for the recovery of her lover. Her eyes were +constantly bathed in tears; she anxiously waited the happy moment when +those of Zadig should be able to meet hers; but an abscess growing on +the wounded eye, gave everything to fear. A messenger was immediately +dispatched to Memphis, for the great physician Hermes, who came with a +numerous retinue. He visited the patient, and declared that he would +lose his eye. He even foretold the day and hour when this fatal event +would happen.</p> + +<p>"Had it been the right eye," said he, "I could easily have cured it; but +the wounds of the left eye are incurable."</p> + +<p>All Babylon lamented the fate of Zadig, and admired the profound +knowledge of Hermes. In two days the abscess broke of its own accord, +and Zadig was perfectly cured. Hermes wrote a book, to prove that it +ought not to have been cured. Zadig did not read it: but, as soon as he +was able to go abroad, he went to pay a visit to her in whom all his +hopes of happiness were centered, and for whose sake alone he wished to +have eyes. Semira had been in the country for three days past. He +learned on the road, that that fine lady, having openly declared that +she had an unconquerable aversion to one-eyed men, had the night before +given her hand to Orcan. At this news he fell speechless to the ground. +His sorrows brought him almost to the brink of the grave. He was long +indisposed; but reason at last got the better of his affliction; and the +severity of his fate served even to console him.</p> + +<p>"Since," said he, "I have suffered so much from the cruel caprice of a +woman educated at court, I must now think of marrying the daughter of a +citizen."</p> + +<p>He pitched upon Azora, a lady of the greatest prudence, and of the best +family in town. He married her, and lived with her for three months in +all the delights of the most tender union. He only observed that she had +a little levity; and was too apt to find that those young men who had +the most handsome persons were likewise possessed of the most wit and +virtue.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIz" id="IIz"></a>II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE NOSE.</span></h4> + + +<p>One morning Azora returned from a walk in a terrible passion and +uttering the most violent exclamations.</p> + +<p>"What aileth thee," said he, "my dear spouse? What is it that can thus +have disturbed thee?"</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said she, "thou wouldst have been as much enraged as I am, hadst +thou seen what I have just beheld. I have been to comfort the young +widow Cosrou, who, within these two days, hath raised a tomb to her +young husband, near the rivulet that washes the skirts of this meadow. +She vowed to heaven, in the bitterness of her grief, to remain at this +tomb whilst the water of the rivulet should continue to run near it."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Zadig, "she is an excellent woman, and loved her husband +with the most sincere affection."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" replied Azora, "didst thou but know in what she was employed when +I went to wait upon her!"</p> + +<p>"In what, pray tell me, beautiful Azora? Was she turning the course of +the rivulet?"</p> + +<p>Azora broke out into such long invectives, and loaded the young widow +with such bitter reproaches, that Zadig was far from being pleased with +this ostentation of virtue.</p> + +<p>Zadig had a friend named Cador; one of those young men in whom his wife +discovered more probity and merit than in others. He made him his +confidant, and secured his fidelity as much as possible by a +considerable present. Azora, having passed two days with a friend in the +country, returned home on the third. The servants told her, with tears +in their eyes, that her husband died suddenly the night before; that +they were afraid to send her an account of this mournful event; and that +they had just been depositing his corpse in the tomb of his ancestors, +at the end of the garden. She wept, she tore her hair, and swore she +would follow him to the grave. In the evening, Cador begged leave to +wait upon her, and joined his tears with hers. Next day they wept less, +and dined together. Cador told her, that his friend had left him the +greater part of his estate; and that he should think himself extremely +happy in sharing his fortune with her. The lady wept, fell into a +passion, and at last became more mild and gentle. They sat longer at +supper than at dinner. They now talked with greater confidence. Azora +praised the deceased; but owned that he had many failings from which +Cador was free.</p> + +<p>During supper, Cador complained of a violent pain in his side. The lady, +greatly concerned, and eager to serve him, caused all kinds of essences +to be brought, with which she anointed him, to try if some of them might +not possibly ease him of his pain. She lamented that the great Hermes +was not still in Babylon. She even condescended to touch the side in +which Cador felt such exquisite pain.</p> + +<p>"Art thou subject to this cruel disorder?" said she to him, with a +compassionate air.</p> + +<p>"It sometimes brings me," replied Cador, "to the brink of the grave; and +there is but one remedy that can give me relief—and that is, to apply +to my side the nose of a man who is lately dead."</p> + +<p>"A strange remedy, indeed!" said Azora.</p> + +<p>"Not more strange," replied he, "than the satchels of Arnou, against the +apoplexy."</p> + +<p>This reason, added to the great merit of the young man, at last +determined the lady.</p> + +<p>"After all," says she, "when my husband shall cross the bridge Tchinavar +in his journey to the other world, the angel Asrael will not refuse him +a passage because his nose is a little shorter in the second life than +it was in the first."</p> + +<p>She then took a razor, went to her husband's tomb, bedewed it with her +tears, and drew near to cut off the nose of Zadig, whom she found +extended at full length in the tomb. Zadig arose, holding his nose with +one hand, and putting back the razor with the other.</p> + +<p>"Madam," said he, "don't exclaim so violently against the widow Cosrou. +The project of cutting off my nose is equal to that of turning the +course of a rivulet."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIIz" id="IIIz"></a>III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE DOG AND THE HORSE.</span></h4> + + +<p>Zadig found by experience, that the first month of marriage, as it is +written in the book of Zend, is the moon of honey, and that the second +is the moon of wormwood. He was some time after obliged to repudiate +Azora, who became too difficult to be pleased; and he then sought for +happiness in the study of nature.</p> + +<p>"No man," said he, "can be happier than a philosopher, who reads in this +great book, which God hath placed before our eyes. The truths he +discovers are his own; he nourishes and exalts his soul; he lives in +peace; he fears nothing from men; and his tender spouse will not come to +cut off his nose."</p> + +<p>Possessed of these ideas, he retired to a country house on the banks of +the Euphrates. There he did not employ himself in calculating how many +inches of water flow in a second of time under the arches of a bridge, +or whether there fell a cube-line of rain in the month of the mouse +more than in the month of the sheep. He never dreamed of making silk of +cobwebs, or porcelain of broken bottles: but he chiefly studied the +properties of plants and animals; and soon acquired a sagacity that made +him discover a thousand differences where other men see nothing but +uniformity.</p> + +<p>One day, as he was walking near a little wood, he saw one of the queen's +eunuchs running toward him, followed by several officers, who appeared +to be in great perplexity, and who ran to and fro like men distracted, +eagerly searching for something they had lost of great value.</p> + +<p>"Young man," said the first eunuch, "hast thou seen the queen's dog?"</p> + +<p>"It is a bitch," replied Zadig, with great modesty, "and not a dog."</p> + +<p>"Thou art in the right," returned the first eunuch.</p> + +<p>"It is a very small she-spaniel," added Zadig; "she has lately whelped; +she limps on the left fore-foot, and has very long ears."</p> + +<p>"Thou hast seen her," said the first eunuch, quite out of breath.</p> + +<p>"No," replied Zadig, "I have not seen her, nor did I so much as know +that the queen had a bitch."</p> + +<p>Exactly at the same time, by one of the common freaks of fortune, the +finest horse in the king's stable had escaped from the jockey in the +plains of Babylon. The principal huntsman, and all the other officers, +ran after him with as much eagerness and anxiety as the first eunuch had +done after the bitch. The principal huntsman addressed himself to Zadig, +and asked him if he had not seen the king's horse passing by.</p> + +<p>"He is the fleetest horse in the king's stable," replied Zadig, "he is +five feet high, with very small hoofs, and a tail three feet and an half +in length; the studs on his bit are gold, of twenty-three carats, and +his shoes are silver of eleven penny-weights."</p> + +<p>"What way did he take? where is he?" demanded the chief huntsman.</p> + +<p>"I have not seen him," replied Zadig, "and never heard talk of him +before."</p> + +<p>The principal huntsman and the first eunuch never doubted but that +Zadig had stolen the king's horse and the queen's bitch. They therefore +had him conducted before the assembly of the grand desterham, who +condemned him to the knout, and to spend the rest of his days in +Siberia. Hardly was the sentence passed, when the horse and the bitch +were both found. The judges were reduced to the disagreeable necessity +of reversing their sentence; but they condemned Zadig to pay four +hundred ounces of gold for having said that he had not seen what he had +seen. This fine he was obliged to pay; after which, he was permitted to +plead his cause before the counsel of the grand desterham, when he spoke +to the following effect.</p> + +<p>"Ye stars of justice, abyss of sciences, mirrors of truth, who have the +weight of lead, the hardness of iron, the splendor of the diamond, and +many of the properties of gold; since I am permitted to speak before +this august assembly, I swear to you by Oromazes, that I have never seen +the queen's respectable bitch, nor the sacred horse of the king of +kings. The truth of the matter is as follows: I was walking toward the +little wood, where I afterward met the venerable eunuch, and the most +illustrious chief huntsman. I observed on the sand the traces of an +animal, and could easily perceive them to be those of a little dog. The +light and long furrows impressed on little eminences of sand between the +marks of the paws, plainly discovered that it was a bitch, whose dugs +were hanging down, and that therefore she must have whelped a few days +before. Other traces of a different kind, that always appeared to have +gently brushed the surface of the sand near the marks of the fore-feet, +showed me that she had very long ears; and as I remarked that there was +always a slighter impression made on the sand by one foot than by the +other three, I found that the bitch of our august queen was a little +lame, if I may be allowed the expression. With regard to the horse of +the king of kings, you will be pleased to know, that walking in the +lanes of this wood, I observed the marks of a horse's shoes, all at +equal distances. This must be a horse, said I to myself, that gallops +excellently. The dust on the trees in a narrow road that was but seven +feet wide, was a little brushed off, at the distance of three feet and +a half from the middle of the road. This horse, said I, has a tail +three feet and a half long, which, being whisked to the right and left, +has swept away the dust. I observed under the trees that formed an arbor +five feet in height, that the leaves of the branches were newly fallen, +from whence I inferred that the horse had touched them, and that he must +therefore be five feet high. As to his bit, it must be gold of +twenty-three carats, for he had rubbed its bosses against a stone which +I knew to be a touchstone, and which I have tried. In a word, from a +mark made by his shoes on flints of another kind, I concluded that he +was shod with silver eleven deniers fine."</p> + +<p>All the judges admired Zadig for his acute and profound discernment. The +news of this speech was carried even to the king and queen. Nothing was +talked of but Zadig in the anti-chambers, the chambers, and the cabinet; +and though many of the magi were of opinion that he ought to be burnt as +a sorcerer, the king ordered his officers to restore him the four +hundred ounces of gold which he had been obliged to pay. The register, +the attorneys, and bailiffs, went to his house with great formality to +carry him back his four hundred ounces. They only retained three hundred +and ninety-eight of them to defray the expenses of justice; and then +their servants demanded their fees.</p> + +<p>Zadig saw how extremely dangerous it sometimes is to appear too knowing, +and therefore resolved, that on the next occasion of the like nature he +would not tell what he had seen.</p> + +<p>Such an opportunity soon offered. A prisoner of state made his escape +and passed under the windows of Zadig's house. Zadig was examined and +made no answer. But it was proved that he had looked at the prisoner +from this window. For this crime he was condemned to pay five hundred +ounces of gold; and, according to the polite custom of Babylon, he +thanked his judges for their indulgence.</p> + +<p>"Great God!" said he to himself, "what a misfortune it is to walk in a +wood through which the queen's bitch or the king's horse have passed! +how dangerous to look out at a window! and how difficult to be happy in +this life!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IVz" id="IVz"></a>IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE ENVIOUS MAN.</span></h4> + + +<p>Zadig resolved to comfort himself by philosophy and friendship for the +evils he had suffered from fortune. He had in the suburbs of Babylon a +house elegantly furnished, in which he assembled all the arts and all +the pleasures worthy the pursuit of a gentleman. In the morning his +library was open to the learned. In the evening his table was surrounded +by good company. But he soon found what very dangerous guests these men +of letters are. A warm dispute arose on one of Zoroaster's laws, which +forbids the eating of a griffin.</p> + +<p>"Why," said some of them, "prohibit the eating of a griffin, if there is +no such animal in nature?"</p> + +<p>"There must necessarily be such an animal," said the others, "since +Zoroaster forbids us to eat it."</p> + +<p>Zadig would fain have reconciled them by saying:</p> + +<p>"If there are no griffins, we cannot possibly eat them; and thus either +way we shall obey Zoroaster."</p> + +<p>A learned man, who had composed thirteen volumes on the properties of +the griffin, and was besides the chief theurgite, hasted away to accuse +Zadig before one of the principal magi, named Yebor, the greatest +blockhead, and therefore the greatest fanatic among the Chaldeans. This +man would have empaled Zadig to do honor to the sun, and would then have +recited the breviary of Zoroaster with greater satisfaction. The friend +Cador (a friend is better than a hundred priests) went to Yebor, and +said to him:</p> + +<p>"Long live the sun and the griffins; beware of punishing Zadig; he is a +saint; he has griffins in his inner court, and does not eat them; and +his accuser is an heretic, who dares to maintain that rabbits have +cloven feet, and are not unclean."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Yebor, shaking his bald pate, "we must empale Zadig for +having thought contemptuously of griffins, and the other party for +having spoken disrespectfully of rabbits."</p> + +<p>Cador hushed up the affair by appealing to a person who had great +interest in the college of the magi. Nobody was empaled. This lenity +occasioned a great murmuring among some of the doctors, who from thence +predicted the fall of Babylon.</p> + +<p>"Upon what does happiness depend?" said Zadig; "I am persecuted by +everything in the world, even on account of beings that have no +existence."</p> + +<p>He cursed those men of learning, and resolved for the future to live +with none but good company.</p> + +<p>He assembled at his house the most worthy men, and the most beautiful +ladies of Babylon. He gave them delicious suppers, often preceded by +concerts of music, and always animated by polite conversation, from +which he knew how to banish that affectation of wit, which is the surest +method of preventing it entirely, and of spoiling the pleasure of the +most agreeable society. Neither the choice of his friends, nor that of +the dishes, was made by vanity; for in everything he preferred the +substance to the shadow; and by these means he procured that real +respect to which he did not aspire.</p> + +<p>Opposite to his house lived one Arimazes, a man whose deformed +countenance was but a faint picture of his still more deformed mind. His +heart was a mixture of malice, pride, and envy. Having never been able +to succeed in any of his undertakings, he revenged himself on all around +him, by loading them with the blackest calumnies. Rich as he was, he +found it difficult to procure a set of flatterers. The rattling of the +chariots that entered Zadig's court in the evening, filled him with +uneasiness; the sound of his praises enraged him still more. He +sometimes went to Zadig's house, and sat down at table without being +desired; where he spoiled all the pleasure of the company, as the +harpies are said to infect the viands they touch.</p> + +<p>It happened that one day he took it in his head to give an entertainment +to a lady, who, instead of accepting it, went to sup with Zadig. At +another time, as he was talking with Zadig at court, a minister of state +came up to them, and invited Zadig to supper, without inviting Arimazes. +The most implacable hatred has seldom a more solid foundation. This man, +who in Babylon was called the <i>envious</i>, resolved to ruin Zadig, +because he was called the <i>happy</i>. "The opportunity of doing mischief +occurs a hundred times in a day, and that of doing good but once a year, +as sayeth the wise Zoroaster."</p> + +<p>The envious man went to see Zadig, who was walking in his garden with +two friends and a lady, to whom he said many gallant things, without any +other intention than that of saying them. The conversation turned upon a +war which the king had just brought to a happy conclusion against the +prince of Hircania, his vassal. Zadig, who had signalized his courage in +this short war, bestowed great praises on the king, but greater still on +the lady. He took out his pocket-book, and wrote four lines extempore, +which he gave to this amiable person to read. His friends begged they +might see them; but modesty, or rather a well-regulated self-love, would +not allow him to grant their request. He knew that extemporary verses +are never approved by any but by the person in whose honor they are +written. He therefore tore in two the leaf on which he had written them, +and threw both the pieces into a thicket of rose bushes where the rest +of the company sought for them in vain. A slight shower falling soon +after, obliged them to return to the house.</p> + +<p>The envious man, who remained in the garden, continued to search, till +at last he found a piece of the leaf. It had been torn in such a manner, +that each half of a line formed a complete sense, and even a verse of a +shorter measure; but what was still more surprising, these short verses +were found to contain the most injurious reflections on the king. They +ran thus:</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To flagrant crimes</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">His crown he owes,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To peaceful times</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">The worst of foes.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>The envious man was now happy for the first time in his life. He had it +in his power to ruin a person of virtue and merit. Killed with this +fiend-like joy, he found means to convey to the king the satire written +by the hand of Zadig, who was immediately thrown into prison, together +with the lady and Zadig's two friends.</p> + +<p>His trial was soon finished without his being permitted to speak for +himself. As he was going to receive his sentence, the envious man threw +himself in his way, and told him with a loud voice, that his verses were +good for nothing. Zadig did not value himself on being a good poet; but +it filled him with inexpressible concern to find that he was condemned +for high treason; and that the fair lady and his two friends were +confined in prison for a crime of which they were not guilty. He was not +allowed to speak, because his writing spoke for him. Such was the law of +Babylon. Accordingly he was conducted to the place of execution through +an immense crowd of spectators, who durst not venture to express their +pity for him, but who carefully examined his countenance to see if he +died with a good grace. His relations alone were inconsolable; for they +could not succeed to his estate. Three-fourths of his wealth were +confiscated into the king's treasury, and the other fourth was given to +the envious man.</p> + +<p>Just as he was preparing for death, the king's parrot flew from its +cage, and alighted on a rose bush in Zadig's garden. A peach had been +driven thither by the wind from a neighboring tree, and had fallen on a +piece of the written leaf of the pocket-book to which it stuck. The bird +carried off the peach and the paper, and laid them on the king's knee. +The king took up the paper with great eagerness, and read the words, +which formed no sense, and seemed to be the endings of verses. He loved +poetry; and there is always some mercy to be expected from a prince of +that disposition. The adventure of the parrot caused him to reflect.</p> + +<p>The queen, who remembered what had been written on the piece of Zadig's +pocket-book, ordered it to be brought. They compared the two pieces +together, and found them to tally exactly. They then read the verses as +Zadig had written them.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Tyrants are prone to flagrant crimes;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">To clemency his crown he owes;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To concord and to peaceful times</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3.5em;">Love only is the worst of foes.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>The king gave immediate orders that Zadig should be brought before him, +and that his two friends and the lady should be set at liberty. Zadig +fell prostrate on the ground before the king and queen, humbly begged +their pardon for having made such bad verses, and spoke with so much +propriety, wit, and good sense, that their majesties desired they might +see him again. He did himself that honor, and insinuated himself still +farther into their good graces. They gave him all the wealth of the +envious man; but Zadig restored him back the whole of it; and this +instance of generosity gave no other pleasure to the envious man than +that of having preserved his estate. The king's esteem for Zadig +increased every day. He admitted him into all his parties of pleasure, +and consulted him in all affairs of state. From that time the queen +began to regard him with an eye of tenderness, that might one day prove +dangerous to herself, to the king her august consort, to Zadig, and to +the kingdom in general. Zadig now began to think that happiness was not +so unattainable as he had formerly imagined.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Vz" id="Vz"></a>V.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE GENEROUS.</span></h4> + + +<p>The time had now arrived for celebrating a grand festival, which +returned every five years. It was a custom in Babylon solemnly to +declare, at the end of every five years, which of the citizens had +performed the most generous action. The grandees and the magi were the +judges. The first satrap, who was charged with the government of the +city, published the most noble actions that had passed under his +administration. The competition was decided by votes; and the king +pronounced the sentence. People came to this solemnity from the +extremities of the earth. The conqueror received from the monarch's +hands a golden cup adorned with precious stones, his majesty at the same +time making him this compliment: "Receive this reward of thy generosity, +and may the gods grant me many subjects like to thee."</p> + +<p>This memorable day having come, the king appeared on his throne, +surrounded by the grandees, the magi, and the deputies of all the +nations that came to these games, where glory was acquired not by the +swiftness of horses, nor by strength of body, but by virtue. The first +satrap recited, with an audible voice, such actions as might entitle +the authors of them to this invaluable prize. He did not mention the +greatness of soul with which Zadig had restored the envious man his +fortune, because it was not judged to be an action worthy of disputing +the prize.</p> + +<p>He first presented a judge, who having made a citizen lose a +considerable cause by a mistake, for which, after all, he was not +accountable, had given him the whole of his own estate, which was just +equal to what the other had lost.</p> + +<p>He next produced a young man, who being desperately in love with a lady +whom he was going to marry, had yielded her up to his friend, whose +passion for her had almost brought him to the brink of the grave, and at +the same time had given him the lady's fortune.</p> + +<p>He afterwards produced a soldier, who, in the wars of Hircania, had +given a still more noble instance of generosity. A party of the enemy +having seized his mistress, he fought in her defence with great +intrepidity. At that very instant he was informed that another party, at +the distance of a few paces, were carrying off his mother; he therefore +left his mistress with tears in his eyes, and flew to the assistance of +his mother. At last he returned to the dear object of his love, and +found her expiring. He was just going to plunge his sword in his own +bosom; but his mother remonstrating against such a desperate deed, and +telling him that he was the only support of her life, he had the courage +to endure to live.</p> + +<p>The judges were inclined to give the prize to the soldier. But the king +took up the discourse, and said:</p> + +<p>"The action of the soldier, and those of the other two, are doubtless +very great, but they have nothing in them surprising. Yesterday, Zadig +performed an action that filled me with wonder. I had a few days before +disgraced Coreb, my minister and favorite. I complained of him in the +most violent and bitter terms; all my courtiers assured me that I was +too gentle, and seemed to vie with each other in speaking ill of Coreb. +I asked Zadig what he thought of him, and he had the courage to commend +him. I have read in our histories of many people who have atoned for an +error by the surrender of their fortune; who have resigned a mistress; +or preferred a mother to the object of their affection, but never +before did I hear of a courtier who spoke favorably of a disgraced +minister, that labored under the displeasure of his sovereign. I give to +each of those whose generous actions have been now recited, twenty +thousand pieces of gold; but the cup I give to Zadig."</p> + +<p>"May it please your majesty," said Zadig, "thyself alone deservest the +cup. Thou hast performed an action of all others the most uncommon and +meritorious, since, notwithstanding thy being a powerful king, thou wast +not offended at thy slave, when he presumed to oppose thy passion."</p> + +<p>The king and Zadig were equally the object of admiration. The judge who +had given his estate to his client; the lover who had resigned his +mistress to his friend, and the soldier, who had preferred the safety of +his mother to that of his mistress, received the king's presents, and +saw their names enrolled in the catalogue of generous men. Zadig had the +cup, and the king acquired the reputation of a good prince, which he did +not long enjoy. The day was celebrated by feasts that lasted longer than +the law enjoined; and the memory of it is still preserved in Asia. Zadig +said: "Now I am happy at last." But he found himself fatally deceived.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIz" id="VIz"></a>VI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE MINISTER.</span></h4> + + +<p>The king had lost his first minister, and chose Zadig to supply his +place. All the ladies in Babylon applauded the choice; for, since the +foundation of the empire, there had never been such a young minister. +But all the courtiers were filled with jealousy and vexation. The +envious man, in particular, was troubled with a spitting of blood, and a +prodigious inflammation in his nose. Zadig, having thanked the king and +queen for their goodness, went likewise to thank the parrot.</p> + +<p>"Beautiful bird," said he, "tis thou that hast saved my life, and made +me first minister. The queen's bitch and the king's horse did me a great +deal of mischief; but thou hast done me much good. Upon such slender +threads as these do the fates of mortals hang! but," added he, "this +happiness perhaps will vanish very soon."<br /><br /></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 411px;"> +<a name="The_cup" id="The_cup"></a> +<img src="images/img_016_the_cup.jpg" width="411" alt="THE CUP." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The cup.—"<i>May it please your majesty</i>," said Zadig, +"<i>thyself alone deservest the cup</i>."</span> +</div> + +<p><br />"Soon," replied the parrot.</p> + +<p>Zadig was somewhat startled at this word. But as he was a good natural +philosopher, and did not believe parrots to be prophets, he quickly +recovered his spirits, and resolved to execute his duty to the best of +his power.</p> + +<p>He made every one feel the sacred authority of the laws, but no one felt +the weight of his dignity. He never checked the deliberations of the +divan; and every vizier might give his opinion without fear of incurring +the minister's displeasure. When he gave judgment, it was not he that +gave it; it was the law; the rigor of which, however, whenever it was +too severe, he always took care to soften; and when laws were wanting, +the equity of his decisions was such as might easily have made them pass +for those of Zoroaster.</p> + +<p>It is to him that the nations are indebted for this grand principle, to +wit, that it is better to run the risk of sparing the guilty than to +condemn the innocent. He imagined that laws were made as well to secure +the people from the suffering of injuries as to restrain them from the +commission of crimes. His chief talent consisted in discovering the +truth, which all men seek to obscure. This great talent he put in +practice from the very beginning of his administration.</p> + +<p>A famous merchant of Babylon, who died in the Indies, divided his estate +equally between his two sons, after having disposed of their sister in +marriage, and left a present of thirty thousand pieces of gold to that +son who should be found to have loved him best. The eldest raised a tomb +to his memory; the youngest increased his sister's portion, by giving +her a part of his inheritance. Every one said that the eldest son loved +his father best, and the youngest his sister; and that the thirty +thousand pieces belonged to the eldest.</p> + +<p>Zadig sent for both of them, the one after the other. To the eldest he +said:</p> + +<p>"Thy father is not dead; but has survived his last illness, and is +returning to Babylon."</p> + +<p>"God be praised," replied the young man; "but his tomb cost me a +considerable sum."</p> + +<p>Zadig afterwards repeated the same story to the youngest son.</p> + +<p>"God be praised," said he; "I will go and restore to my father all that +I have; but I could wish that he would leave my sister what I have given +her."</p> + +<p>"Thou shalt restore nothing," replied Zadig, "and thou shalt have the +thirty thousand pieces, for thou art the son who loves his father best."</p> + +<p>A widow, having a young son, and being possessed of a handsome fortune, +had given a promise of marriage to two magi; who were both desirous of +marrying her.</p> + +<p>"I will take for my husband," said she, "the man who can give the best +education to my beloved son."</p> + +<p>The two magi contended who should bring him up, and the cause was +carried before Zadig. Zadig summoned the two magi to attend him.</p> + +<p>"What will you teach your pupil?" said he to the first.</p> + +<p>"I will teach him," said the doctor, "the eight parts of speech, logic, +astrology, pneumatics, what is meant by substance and accident, abstract +and concrete, the doctrine of the monades, and the pre-established +harmony."</p> + +<p>"For my part," said the second, "I will endeavor to give him a sense of +justice, and to make him worthy the friendship of good men."</p> + +<p>Zadig then cried:</p> + +<p>"Whether thou art the child's favorite or not, thou shalt have his +mother."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIIz" id="VIIz"></a>VII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE DISPUTES AND THE AUDIENCES.</span></h4> + + +<p>In this manner he daily discovered the subtlety of his genius and the +goodness of his heart. The people at once admired and loved him. He +passed for the happiest man in the world. The whole empire resounded +with his name. All the ladies ogled him. All the men praised him for his +justice. The learned regarded him as an oracle; and even the priests +confessed that he knew more than the old arch-magi Yebor. They were now +so far from prosecuting him on account of the griffins, that they +believed nothing but what he thought credible.</p> + +<p>There had continued at Babylon, for the space of fifteen hundred years, +a violent contest that had divided the empire into two sects. The one +pretended that they ought to enter the temple of Mithra with the left +foot foremost; the other held this custom in detestation, and always +entered with the right foot first. The people waited with great +impatience for the day on which the solemn feast of the sacred fire was +to be celebrated, to see which sect Zadig would favor. All the world had +their eyes fixed on his two feet, and the whole city was in the utmost +suspense and perturbation. Zadig jumped into the temple with his feet +joined together; and afterward proved, in an eloquent discourse, that +the Sovereign of heaven and earth, who accepteth not the persons of men, +maketh no distinction between the right and the left foot. The envious +man and his wife alleged that his discourse was not figurative enough, +and that he did not make the rocks and mountains dance with sufficient +agility.</p> + +<p>"He is dry," said they, "and void of genius. He does not make the sea to +fly, and stars to fall, nor the sun to melt like wax. He has not the +true oriental style."</p> + +<p>Zadig contented himself with having the style of reason. All the world +favored him, not because he was in the right road, or followed the +dictates of reason, or was a man of real merit, but because he was prime +vizier.</p> + +<p>He terminated with the same happy address the grand dispute between the +black and the white magi. The former maintained that it was the height +of impiety to pray to God with the face turned toward the east in +winter; the latter asserted that God abhorred the prayers of those who +turned toward the west in summer. Zadig decreed that every man should be +allowed to turn as he pleased.</p> + +<p>Thus he found out the happy secret of finishing all affairs, whether of +a private or a public nature, in the morning. The rest of the day he +employed in superintending and promoting the embellishments of Babylon. +He exhibited tragedies that drew tears from the eyes of the spectators, +and comedies that shook their sides with laughter,—a custom which had +long been disused, and which his good taste now induced him to revive. +He never affected to be more knowing in the polite arts than the artists +themselves. He encouraged them by rewards and honors, and was never +jealous of their talents. In the evening the king was highly entertained +with his conversation, and the queen still more.</p> + +<p>"Great minister!" said the king.</p> + +<p>"Amiable minister!" said the queen; and both of them added, "It would +have been a great loss to the state had such a man been hanged."</p> + +<p>Meanwhile Zadig perceived that his thoughts were always distracted, as +well when he gave audience as when he sat in judgment. He did not know +to what to attribute this absence of mind, and that was his only sorrow.</p> + +<p>He had a dream, in which he imagined that he laid himself down upon a +heap of dry herbs, among which there were many prickly ones that gave +him great uneasiness, and that he afterward reposed himself on a soft +bed of roses, from which there sprung a serpent that wounded him to the +heart with its sharp venomed fangs. "Alas," said he, "I have long lain +on these dry and prickly herbs, I am now on the bed of roses; but what +shall be the serpent?"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIIIz" id="VIIIz"></a>VIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">JEALOUSY.</span></h4> + + +<p>Zadig's calamities sprung even from his happiness, and especially from +his merit. He every day conversed with the king and his august consort. +The charms of Zadig's conversation were greatly heightened by that +desire of pleasing which is to the mind what dress is to beauty. His +youth and graceful appearance insensibly made an impression on Astarte, +which she did not at first perceive. Her passion grew and flourished in +the bosom of innocence. Without fear or scruple, she indulged the +pleasing satisfaction of seeing and hearing a man who was so dear to her +husband, and to the empire in general. She was continually praising him +to the king. She talked of him to her women, who were always sure to +improve on her praises. And thus everything contributed to pierce her +heart with a dart, of which she did not seem to be sensible. She made +several presents to Zadig, which discovered a greater spirit of +gallantry than she imagined. She intended to speak to him only as a +queen satisfied with his services; and her expressions were sometimes +those of a woman in love.</p> + +<p>Astarte was much more beautiful than that Semira who had such a strong +aversion to one-eyed men, or that other woman who had resolved to cut +off her husband's nose. Her unreserved familiarity, her tender +expressions, at which she began to blush; and her eyes, which, though +she endeavored to divert them to other objects, were always fixed upon +his, inspired Zadig with a passion that filled him with astonishment. He +struggled hard to get the better of it. He called to his aid the +precepts of philosophy, which had always stood him in stead; but from +thence, though he could derive the light of knowledge, he could procure +no remedy to cure the disorders of his love-sick heart. Duty, gratitude, +and violated majesty, presented themselves to his mind, as so many +avenging gods. He struggled, he conquered. But this victory, which he +was obliged to purchase afresh every moment, cost him many sighs and +tears. He no longer dared to speak to the queen with that sweet and +charming familiarity which had been so agreeable to them both. His +countenance was covered with a cloud. His conversation was constrained +and incoherent. His eyes were fixed on the ground; and when, in spite of +all his endeavors to the contrary, they encountered those of the queen, +they found them bathed in tears, and darting arrows of flame. They +seemed to say, We adore each other, and yet are afraid to love; we are +consumed with a passion which we both condemn.</p> + +<p>Zadig left the royal presence full of perplexity and despair, and having +his heart oppressed with a burden which he was no longer able to bear. +In the violence of his perturbation he involuntarily betrayed the secret +to his friend Cador, in the same manner as a man, who, having long +endured a cruel disease, discovers his pain by a cry extorted from him +by a more severe attack, and by the cold sweat that covers his brow.</p> + +<p>"I have already discovered," said Cador, "the sentiments which thou +wouldst fain conceal from thyself. The symptoms by which the passions +show themselves are certain and infallible. Judge, my dear Zadig, since +I have read thy heart, whether the king will not discover something in +it that may give him offence. He has no other fault but that of being +the most jealous man in the world. Thou canst resist the violence of thy +passion with greater fortitude than the queen, because thou art a +philosopher, and because thou art Zadig. Astarte is a woman. She suffers +her eyes to speak with so much the more imprudence, as she does not as +yet think herself guilty. Conscious of her own innocence, she unhappily +neglects those external appearances which are so necessary. I shall +tremble for her so long as she has nothing wherewithal to reproach +herself. A growing passion which we endeavor to suppress, discovers +itself in spite of all our efforts to the contrary.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, the queen mentioned the name of Zadig so frequently, and with +such a blushing and downcast look. She was sometimes so lively, and +sometimes so perplexed, when she spoke to him in the king's presence, +and was seized with such a deep thoughtfulness at his going away, that +the king began to be troubled. He believed all that he saw, and imagined +all that he did not see. He particularly remarked, that his wife's shoes +were blue, and that Zadig's shoes were blue; that his wife's ribbons +were yellow, and that Zadig's bonnet was yellow, and these were terrible +symptoms to a prince of so much delicacy. In his jealous mind suspicion +was turned into certainty.</p> + +<p>All the slaves of kings and queens are so many spies over their hearts. +They soon observed that Astarte was tender, and that Moabdar was +jealous. The envious man persuaded his wife to send anonymously to the +king her garter, which resembled those of the queen; and to complete the +misfortune, this garter was blue. The monarch now thought of nothing but +in what manner he might best execute his vengeance. He one night +resolved to poison the queen, and in the morning to put Zadig to death +by the bowstring. The orders were given to a merciless eunuch, who +commonly executed his acts of vengeance.</p> + +<p>There happened at that time to be in the king's chamber a little dwarf, +who, though dumb, was not deaf. He was allowed, on account of his +insignificance, to go wherever he pleased; and, as a domestic animal, +was a witness of what passed in the most profound secrecy.</p> + +<p>This little mute was strongly attached to the queen and Zadig. With +equal horror and surprise, he heard the cruel orders given; but how +could he prevent the fatal sentence that in a few hours was to be +carried into execution? He could not write, but he could paint; and +excelled particularly in drawing a striking resemblance. He employed a +part of the night in sketching out with his pencil what he meant to +impart to the queen. The piece represented the king in one corner, +boiling with rage, and giving orders to the eunuch; a blue bowstring, +and a bowl on a table, with blue garters and yellow ribbons; the queen +in the middle of the picture, expiring in the arms of her woman, and +Zadig strangled at her feet. The horizon represented a rising sun, to +express that this shocking execution was to be performed in the morning. +As soon as he had finished the picture, he ran to one of Astarte's +women, awoke her, and made her understand that she must immediately +carry it to the queen.</p> + +<p>At midnight a messenger knocks at Zadig's door, awakes him, and gives +him a note from the queen. He doubts whether it is not a dream; and +opens the letter with a trembling hand. But how great was his surprise, +and who can express the consternation and despair into which he was +thrown upon reading these words? "Fly, this instant, or thou art a dead +man! Fly, Zadig, I conjure thee by our mutual love and my yellow +ribbons. I have not been guilty, but I find that I must die like a +criminal."</p> + +<p>Zadig was hardly able to speak. He sent for Cador, and, without uttering +a word, gave him the note. Cador forced him to obey, and forthwith to +take the road to Memphis.</p> + +<p>"Shouldst thou dare," said he, "to go in search of the queen, thou wilt +hasten her death. Shouldst thou speak to the king, thou wilt infallibly +ruin her. I will take upon me the charge of her destiny; follow thy own. +I will spread a report that thou hast taken the road to India. I will +soon follow thee, and inform thee of all that shall have passed in +Babylon."</p> + +<p>At that instant, Cador caused two of the swiftest dromedaries to be +brought to a private gate of the palace. Upon one of these he mounted +Zadig, whom he was obliged to carry to the door, and who was ready to +expire with grief. He was accompanied by a single domestic, and Cador, +plunged in sorrow and astonishment, soon lost sight of his friend.</p> + +<p>This illustrious fugitive arriving on the side of a hill, from whence he +could take a view of Babylon, turned his eyes toward the queen's palace, +and fainted away at the sight; nor did he recover his senses but to shed +a torrent of tears, and to wish for death. At length, after his thoughts +had been long engrossed in lamenting the unhappy fate of the loveliest +woman and the greatest queen in the world, he for a moment turned his +views on himself, and cried:</p> + +<p>"What then is human life? O virtue, how hast thou served me? Two women +have basely deceived me; and now a third, who is innocent, and more +beautiful than both the others, is going to be put to death! Whatever +good I have done hath been to me a continual source of calamity and +affliction; and I have only been raised to the height of grandeur, to be +tumbled down the most horrid precipice of misfortune."</p> + +<p>Filled with these gloomy reflections, his eyes overspread with the veil +of grief, his countenance covered with the paleness of death, and his +soul plunged in an abyss of the blackest despair, he continued his +journey toward Egypt.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IXz" id="IXz"></a>IX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE WOMAN BEATER.</span></h4> + + +<p>Zadig directed his course by the stars. The constellation of Orion, and +the splendid Dogstars, guided his steps toward the pole of Canopæa. He +admired those vast globes of light which appear to our eyes as so many +little sparks, while the earth, which in reality is only an +imperceptible point in nature, appears to our fond imaginations as +something so grand and noble. He then represented to himself the human +species, as it really is, as a parcel of insects devouring one another +on a little atom of clay. This true image seemed to annihilate his +misfortunes, by making him sensible of the nothingness of his own being, +and that of Babylon. His soul launched out into infinity, and detached +from the senses, contemplated the immutable order of the universe. But +when afterward, returning to himself, and entering into his own heart, +he considered that Astarte had perhaps died for him, the universe +vanished from his sight, and he beheld nothing in the whole compass of +nature but Astarte expiring, and Zadig unhappy.</p> + +<p>While he thus alternately gave up his mind to this flux and reflux of +sublime philosophy and intolerable grief, he advanced toward the +frontiers of Egypt; and his faithful domestic was already in the first +village, in search of a lodging.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, as Zadig was walking toward the gardens that skirted the +village, he saw, at a small distance from the highway, a woman bathed in +tears and calling heaven and earth to her assistance, and a man in a +furious passion pursuing her.</p> + +<p>This madman had already overtaken the woman, who embraced his knees, +notwithstanding which he loaded her with blows and reproaches. Zadig +judged by the frantic behavior of the Egyptian, and by the repeated +pardons which the lady asked him, that the one was jealous, and the +other unfaithful. But when he surveyed the woman more narrowly, and +found her to be a lady of exquisite beauty, and even to have a strong +resemblance to the unhappy Astarte, he felt himself inspired with +compassion for her, and horror toward the Egyptian.</p> + +<p>"Assist me," cried she to Zadig, with the deepest sighs, "deliver me +from the hands of the most barbarous man in the world. Save my life."</p> + +<p>Moved by these pitiful cries, Zadig ran and threw himself between her +and the barbarian. As he had some knowledge of the Egyptian language, he +addressed him in that tongue.</p> + +<p>"If," said he, "thou hast any humanity, I conjure thee to pay some +regard to her beauty and weakness. How canst thou behave in this +outrageous manner to one of the masterpieces of nature, who lies at thy +feet, and hath no defence but her tears?"</p> + +<p>"Ah, ah!" replied the madman, "thou art likewise in love with her. I +must be revenged on thee too."</p> + +<p>So saying, he left the lady, whom he had hitherto held with his hand +twisted in her hair, and taking his lance attempted to stab the +stranger. Zadig, who was in cold blood, easily eluded the blow aimed by +the frantic Egyptian. He seized the lance near the iron with which it +was armed. The Egyptian strove to draw it back; Zadig to wrest it from +the Egyptian; and in the struggle it was broken in two. The Egyptian +draws his sword; Zadig does the same. They attack each other. The former +gives a hundred blows at random; the latter wards them off with great +dexterity. The lady, seated on a turf, re-adjusts her head-dress, and +looks at the combatants. The Egyptian excelled in strength: Zadig in +address. The one fought like a man whose arm was directed by his +judgment; the other like a madman, whose blind rage made him deal his +blows at random. Zadig closes with him, and disarms him; and while the +Egyptian, now become more furious, endeavors to throw himself upon him, +he seizes him, presses him close, and throws him down; and then holding +his sword to his breast, offers him his life. The Egyptian, frantic with +rage, draws his poniard, and wounds Zadig at the very instant that the +conqueror was granting a pardon. Zadig, provoked at such brutal +behavior, plunged his sword in the bosom of the Egyptian, who giving a +horrible shriek and a violent struggle, instantly expired. Zadig then +approached the lady, and said to her with a gentle tone:</p> + +<p>"He hath forced me to kill him. I have avenged thy cause. Thou art now +delivered from the most violent man I ever saw. What further, madam, +wouldest thou have me do for thee?</p> + +<p>"Die, villain," replied she, "thou hast killed my lover. O that I were +able to tear out thy heart!"</p> + +<p>"Why truly, madam," said Zadig, "thou hadst a strange kind of a man for +a lover; he beat thee with all his might, and would have killed thee, +because thou hadst entreated me to give thee assistance."</p> + +<p>"I wish he were beating me still," replied the lady with tears and +lamentation. "I well deserved it; for I had given him cause to be +jealous. Would to heaven that he was now beating me, and that thou wast +in his place."</p> + +<p>Zadig, struck with surprise, and inflamed with a higher degree of +resentment than he had ever felt before, said:</p> + +<p>"Beautiful as thou art, madam, thou deservest that I should beat thee in +my turn for thy perverse and impertinent behavior. But I shall not give +myself the trouble."</p> + +<p>So saying, he remounted his camel, and advanced toward the town. He had +proceeded but a few steps, when he turned back at the noise of four +Babylonian couriers, who came riding at full gallop. One of them, upon +seeing the woman, cried:</p> + +<p>"It is the very same. She resembles the description that was given us."</p> + +<p>They gave themselves no concern about the dead Egyptian, but instantly +seized the lady. She called out to Zadig:</p> + +<p>"Help me once more, generous stranger. I ask pardon for having +complained of thy conduct. Deliver me again, and I will be thine for +ever."</p> + +<p>Zadig was no longer in the humor of fighting for her.</p> + +<p>"Apply to another," said he, "thou shalt not again ensnare me in thy +wiles."</p> + +<p>Besides, he was wounded; his blood was still flowing, and he himself had +need of assistance: and the sight of four Babylonians, probably sent by +King Moabdar, filled him with apprehension. He therefore hastened toward +the village, unable to comprehend why four Babylonian couriers should +come and seize this Egyptian woman, but still more astonished at the +lady's behavior.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Xz" id="Xz"></a>X.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">SLAVERY.</span></h4> + + +<p>As he entered the Egyptian village, he saw himself surrounded by the +people. Every one said:</p> + +<p>"This is the man who carried off the beautiful Missouf, and assassinated +Clitofis."</p> + +<p>"Gentleman," said he, "God preserve me from carrying off your beautiful +Missouf. She is too capricious for me. And with regard to Clitofis, I +did not assassinate him, I only fought with him in my own defence. He +endeavored to kill me, because I humbly interceded for the beautiful +Missouf, whom he beat most unmercifully. I am a stranger, come to seek +refuge in Egypt; and it is not likely, that in coming to implore your +protection, I should begin by carrying off a woman, and assassinating a +man."</p> + +<p>The Egyptians were then just and humane. The people conducted Zadig to +the town-house. They first of all ordered his wound to be dressed, and +then examined him and his servant apart, in order to discover the truth. +They found that Zadig was not an assassin; but as he was guilty of +having killed a man, the law condemned him to be a slave. His two camels +were sold for the benefit of the town: all the gold he had brought with +him was distributed among the inhabitants; and his person, as well as +that of the companion of his journey, was exposed for sale in the +market-place. An Arabian merchant, named Setoc, made the purchase; but +as the servant was fitter for labor than the master, he was sold at a +higher price. There was no comparison between the two men. Thus Zadig +became a slave subordinate to his own servant. They were linked together +by a chain fastened to their feet, and in this condition they followed +the Arabian merchant to his house.</p> + +<p>By the way Zadig comforted his servant, and exhorted him to patience; +but he could not help making, according to his usual custom, some +reflections on human life. "I see," said he, "that the unhappiness of my +fate hath an influence on thine. Hitherto everything has turned out to +me in a most unaccountable manner. I have been condemned to pay a fine +for having seen the marks of a bitch's feet. I thought that I should +once have been empaled alive on account of a griffin. I have been sent +to execution for having made some verses in praise of the king. I have +been on the point of being strangled, because the queen had yellow +ribbons; and now I am a slave with thee, because a brutal wretch beat +his mistress. Come, let us keep a good heart; all this will perhaps have +an end. The Arabian merchants must necessarily have slaves; and why not +me as well as another, since, as well as another, I am a man? This +merchant will not be cruel. He must treat his slaves well if he expects +any advantage from them."</p> + +<p>But while he spoke thus, his heart was entirely engrossed by the fate of +the queen of Babylon.</p> + +<p>Two days after, the merchant Setoc set out for Arabia Deserta, with his +slaves and his camels. His tribe dwelt near the desert of Oreb. The +journey was long and painful. Setoc set a much greater value on the +servant than the master, because the former was more expert in loading +the camels, and all the little marks of distinction were shown to him. A +camel having died within two days journey of Oreb, his burden was +divided and laid on the backs of the servants; and Zadig had his share +among the rest. Setoc laughed to see all his slaves walking with their +bodies inclined. Zadig took the liberty to explain to him the cause, and +inform him of the laws of the balance. The merchant was astonished, and +began to regard him with other eyes. Zadig, finding he had raised his +curiosity, increased it still further by acquainting him with many +things that related to commerce; the specific gravity of metals and +commodities under an equal bulk; the properties of several useful +animals; and the means of rendering those useful that are not naturally +so.</p> + +<p>At last Setoc began to consider Zadig as a sage, and preferred him to +his companion, whom he had formerly so much esteemed. He treated him +well, and had no cause to repent of his kindness.</p> + +<p>As soon as Setoc arrived among his own tribe he demanded the payment of +five hundred ounces of silver, which he had lent to a Jew in presence of +two witnesses; but as the witnesses were dead, and the debt could not be +proved, the Hebrew appropriated the merchant's money to himself, and +piously thanked God for putting it in his power to cheat an Arabian. +Setoc imparted this troublesome affair to Zadig, who had now become his +counsel.</p> + +<p>"In what place," said Zadig, "didst thou lend the five hundred ounces to +this infidel?"</p> + +<p>"Upon a large stone," replied the merchant, "that lies near the mountain +of Oreb."</p> + +<p>"What is the character of thy debter?" said Zadig.</p> + +<p>"That of a knave," returned Setoc.</p> + +<p>"But I ask thee, whether he is lively or phlegmatic; cautious or +imprudent?"</p> + +<p>"He is, of all bad payers," said Setoc, "the most lively fellow I ever +knew."</p> + +<p>"Well," resumed Zadig, "allow me to plead thy cause."</p> + +<p>In effect, Zadig having summoned the Jew to the tribunal, addressed the +judge in the following terms:</p> + +<p>"Pillow of the throne of equity, I come to demand of this man, in the +name of my master, five hundred ounces of silver, which he refuses to +repay."</p> + +<p>"Hast thou any witnesses?" said the judge.</p> + +<p>"No, they are dead; but there remains a large stone upon which the money +was counted; and if it please thy grandeur to order the stone to be +sought for, I hope that it will bear witness. The Hebrew and I will +tarry here till the stone arrives. I will send for it at my master's +expense."</p> + +<p>"With all my heart," replied the judge, and immediately applied himself +to the discussion of other affairs.</p> + +<p>When the court was going to break up, the judge said to Zadig:</p> + +<p>"Well, friend, hath not thy stone yet arrived?"</p> + +<p>The Hebrew replied with a smile:</p> + +<p>"Thy grandeur may stay here till to-morrow, and after all not see the +stone. It is more than six miles from hence and it would require fifteen +men to move it."</p> + +<p>"Well," cried Zadig, "did I not say that the stone would bear witness? +Since this man knows where it is, he thereby confesses that it was upon +it that the money was counted."</p> + +<p>The Hebrew was disconcerted, and was soon after obliged to confess the +truth. The judge ordered him to be fastened to the stone, without meat +or drink, till he should restore the five hundred ounces, which were +soon after paid.</p> + +<p>The slave Zadig and the stone were held in great repute in Arabia.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 150px;"> +<a name="Egyptian_archer" id="Egyptian_archer"></a> +<img src="images/img_017_archer.jpg" width="150" alt="Egyptian archer" title="" /> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIz" id="XIz"></a>XI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE FUNERAL PILE.</span></h4> + + +<p>Setoc, charmed with the happy issue of this affair, made his slave his +intimate friend. He had now conceived as great an esteem for him as ever +the king of Babylon had done; and Zadig was glad that Setoc had no wife. +He discovered in his master a good natural disposition, much probity of +heart, and a great share of good sense; but he was sorry to see that, +according to the ancient custom of Arabia, he adored the host of heaven; +that is, the sun, moon, and stars. He sometimes spoke to him on this +subject with great prudence and discretion. At last he told him that +these bodies were like all other bodies in the universe, and no more +deserving of our homage than a tree or a rock.</p> + +<p>"But," said Setoc, "they are eternal beings; and it is from them we +derive all we enjoy. They animate nature; they regulate the seasons; +and, besides, are removed at such an immense distance from us, that we +cannot help revering them."</p> + +<p>"Thou receivest more advantage," replied Zadig, "from the waters of the +Red Sea, which carry thy merchandize to the Indies. Why may not it be as +ancient as the stars? and if thou adorest what is placed at a distance +from thee, thou shouldest adore the land of the Gangarides, which lies +at the extremity of the earth."</p> + +<p>"No," said Setoc, "the brightness of the stars commands my adoration."</p> + +<p>At night Zadig lighted up a great number of candles in the tent where he +was to sup with Setoc; and the moment his patron appeared, he fell on +his knees before these lighted tapers, and said:</p> + +<p>"Eternal and shining luminaries! be ye always propitious to me."</p> + +<p>Having thus said, he sat down at the table, without taking the least +notice of Setoc.</p> + +<p>"What art thou doing?" said Setoc in amaze.</p> + +<p>"I act like thee," replied Zadig, "I adore these candles, and neglect +their master and mine."</p> + +<p>Setoc comprehended the profound sense of this apologue. The wisdom of +his slave sunk deep into his soul. He no longer offered incense to the +creatures, but he adored the eternal Being who made them.</p> + +<p>There prevailed at that time in Arabia a shocking custom, sprung +originally from Scythia, and which, being established in the Indies by +the credit of the Brahmins, threatened to over-run all the East. When a +married man died, and his beloved wife aspired to the character of a +saint, she burned herself publicly on the body of her husband. This was +a solemn feast, and was called the Funeral Pile of Widowhood; and that +tribe in which most women had been burned was the most respected. An +Arabian of Setoc's tribe being dead, his widow, whose name was Almona, +and who was very devout, published the day and hour when she intended to +throw herself into the fire, amidst the sound of drums and trumpets.</p> + +<p>Zadig remonstrated against this horrible custom. He showed Setoc how +inconsistent it was with the happiness of mankind to suffer young widows +to burn themselves—widows who were capable of giving children to the +state, or at least of educating those they already had; and he convinced +him that it was his duty to do all that lay in his power to abolish such +a barbarous practice.</p> + +<p>"The women," said Setoc, "have possessed the right of burning themselves +for more than a thousand years; and who shall dare to abrogate a law +which time hath rendered sacred? Is there anything more respectable than +ancient abuses?"</p> + +<p>"Reason is more ancient," replied Zadig: "meanwhile, speak thou to the +chiefs of the tribes, and I will go to wait on the young widow."</p> + +<p>Accordingly, he was introduced to her, and after having insinuated +himself into her good graces by some compliments on her beauty, and told +her what a pity it was to commit so many charms to the flames, he at +last praised her for her constancy and courage.</p> + +<p>"Thou must surely have loved thy husband," said he to her, "with the +most passionate fondness."</p> + +<p>"Who, I?" replied the lady, "I loved him not at all. He was a brutal, +jealous, and insupportable wretch; but I am firmly resolved to throw +myself on his funeral pile."<br /><br /></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<a name="The_funeral_pyre" id="The_funeral_pyre"></a> +<img src="images/img_018_funeral_pyre.jpg" width="400" alt="The funeral pyre." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The funeral pyre.—"<i>The women</i>," said Setoc, "<i>have +possessed the right of burning themselves for more than a thousand +years; and who shall dare to abrogate a law which time hath rendered +sacred? Is there anything more respectable than ancient abuses?</i>"</span> +</div> + +<p><br />"It would appear then," said Zadig, "that there must be a very delicious +pleasure in being burnt alive."</p> + +<p>"Oh! it makes me shudder," replied the lady, "but that must be +overlooked. I am a devotee; I should lose my reputation; and all the +world would despise me, if I did not burn myself."</p> + +<p>Zadig having made her acknowledge that she burned herself to gain the +good opinion of others, and to gratify her own vanity, entertained her +with a long discourse calculated to make her a little in love with life, +and even went so far as to inspire her with some degree of good will for +the person who spoke to her.</p> + +<p>"And what wilt thou do at last," said he, "if the vanity of burning +thyself should not continue?"</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said the lady, "I believe I should desire thee to marry me."</p> + +<p>Zadig's mind was too much engrossed with the idea of Astarte not to +elude this declaration; but he instantly went to the chiefs of the +tribes, told them what had passed, and advised them to make a law by +which a widow should not be permitted to burn herself, till she had +conversed privately with a young man for the space of an hour. Since +that time not a single widow hath burned herself in Arabia. They were +indebted to Zadig alone for destroying in one day a cruel custom that +had lasted for so many ages; and thus he became the benefactor of +Arabia.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIIz" id="XIIz"></a>XII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE SUPPER.</span></h4> + + +<p>Setoc, who could not separate himself from this man in whom dwelt +wisdom, carried Zadig to the great fair of Balzora, whither the richest +merchants of the earth resorted. Zadig was highly pleased to see so many +men of different countries united in the same place. He considered the +whole universe as one large family assembled at Balzora. The second day +he sat at table with an Egyptian, an Indian, an inhabitant of Cathay, a +Greek, a Celtic, and several other strangers, who, in their frequent +voyages to the Arabian Gulf, had learned enough of the Arabic to make +themselves understood.</p> + +<p>The Egyptian seemed to be in a violent passion. "What an abominable +country," said he, "is Balzora! They refuse me a thousand ounces of gold +on the best security in the world."</p> + +<p>"How!" said Setoc. "On what security have they refused thee this sum?"</p> + +<p>"On the body of my aunt," replied the Egyptian. "She was the most +notable woman in Egypt; she always accompanied me in my journeys; she +died on the road. I have converted her into one of the nest mummies in +the world; and in my own country I could obtain any amount by giving her +as a pledge. It is very strange that they will not here lend me a +thousand ounces of gold on such a solid security."</p> + +<p>Angry as he was, he was going to help himself to a bit of excellent +boiled fowl, when the Indian, taking him by the hand, cried out in a +sorrowful tone, "Ah! what art thou going to do?"</p> + +<p>"To eat a bit of this fowl," replied the man who owned the mummy.</p> + +<p>"Take care that thou dost not," replied the Indian. "It is possible that +the soul of the deceased may have passed into this fowl; and thou +wouldst not, surely, expose thyself to the danger of eating thy aunt? To +boil fowls is a manifest outrage on nature."</p> + +<p>"What dost thou mean by thy nature and thy fowls?" replied the choleric +Egyptian. "We adore a bull, and yet we eat heartily of beef."</p> + +<p>"You adore a bull! is it possible?" said the Indian.</p> + +<p>"Nothing is more possible," returned the other; "we have done so for +these hundred and thirty-five thousand years; and nobody amongst us has +ever found fault with it."</p> + +<p>"A hundred and thirty-five thousand years!" said the Indian. "This +account is a little exaggerated. It is but eighty thousand years since +India was first peopled, and we are surely more ancient than you are. +Brahma prohibited our eating of ox-flesh before you thought of putting +it on your spits or altars."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 336px;"> +<a name="Oannes_the_Fish_God" id="Oannes_the_Fish_God"></a> +<img src="images/img_019_oannes70.jpg" width="336" alt="Oannes—the Fish God." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Oannes—the Fish God.—"<i>Thou art mistaken," said a +Chaldean</i>. "<i>It is to the fish Oannes that we owe these great advantages; +and it is just that we should render homage to none but him. All the +world will tell thee, that he is a divine being, with a golden tail, and +a beautiful human head; and that for three hours every day he left the +water to preach on dry land</i>."</span> +</div> + + + +<h5>OANNES—THE FISH AVATAR.</h5> +<blockquote> +<p class="block">"The accompanying engraving of the fish-god is from a drawing by +Gentil, given in <i>Calmet's Dictionary</i>. The god was worshiped under +the name of Dagon by the Syrians, and Oannes by the Chaldeans. The +image represented the body of a fish with the head and arms of a +man; and while all figures of the god are not exactly alike, they +all combine a human form with that of a fish.</p> + +<p class="block">"Owing to the precession of the equinoxes," says the Rev. Mr. +Maurice in the <i>Antiquities of India</i>, "after the rate of +seventy-two years to a degree, a total alteration has taken place +through all the signs of the ecliptic, insomuch that those stars +which formerly were in Aries have now got into Taurus, and those of +Taurus into Gemini. Now the vernal equinox, after the rate of that +precession, could not have coincided with the first of May less +than 4000 years before Christ."</p> + +<p class="block">An Avatar in the form of the celestial <i>Taurus</i> (♉) then +occurred, and Osiris was worshiped in the form of a bull, by +credulous believers. Next in the course of revolving years, we have +the celestial <i>Aries</i>, (♈) and the god then became +incarnate in the form of a lamb, and in that form received the +adoration of devout multitudes. Later still the Zodiacal sign had +progressed to <i>Pisces</i>, (♓) and mankind were then called +upon to worship the astrological emblem of the amphibious being +called Oannes—the sacred god of the land and the sea—whose +representative on earth still claims to be the <i>Great Fisherman</i>, +and who has entangled in the meshes of his net of faith the +intellects and consciences of innumerable devotees.</p> + +<p class="block">"In Berosus and other authors," says Godfrey Higgins in the +<i>Anacalypsis</i>, "the being half man, half fish, called Oannes, is +said to have come out of the Erythræan Sea, and to have taught the +Babylonians all kinds of useful knowledge. This is clearly the fish +Avatar of India; whether or not it be the I-oannes of Jonas I leave +to the reader. I apprehend it is the same as the Dagon of Pegu and +the fish sign of the Zodiac. Very little is known about it, but it +exactly answers the description of an Avatar.</p> + +<p class="block">"The apostles of Jesus, I believe, were most of them fishermen. +There are many stories of miraculous draughts of fish, and other +matters connected with fishes, in the Gospel histories; and Peter, +the son of John, I-oannes or Oannes, the great fisherman, inherited +the power of ruling the church from the Lamb of God. The fisherman +succeeded to the shepherd. The Pope calls himself the great +fisherman, and boasts of the contents of his Poitrine.</p> + +<p class="block">"In the Pentateuch, which is the sacred book of the Israelites, we +meet with no Dagon, Fish or God. But we do meet with it in the book +of Judges. I believe this Dagon to be the fish Avatar of India—the +Dagon of Syrian in Pegu; in fact the emblem of the entrance of the +sun into Pisces.</p> + +<p class="block">"In the earliest time, perhaps, of which we have any history, God +the creator was adored under the form or emblem of a Bull. After +that, we read of him under the form of a calf or two calves, +afterward in the form of the Ram and the Lamb, and the devotees +were called lambs: then came the fish or two fishes. It is a fact, +not a theory, that he was called a fish, and that the devotees were +called Pisciculi or little fishes. I suppose few persons will +attribute these appearances of system to accident. As we have +<i>lambs</i> and <i>little fishes</i> in the followers of the Ram, Aries, and +the constellation Pisces, it is only in character to have the +followers of the Bull called <i>calves</i>, and I am by no means certain +that we have not them in the Cyclops.</p> + +<p class="block">"At first, no doubt, my reader will be very much surprised at the +idea of the devotees having converted Jesus into the <i>fish</i> Avatar: +but why was he called the lamb? And why were his followers called +his flock, and his sheep, and his lambs? Not many circumstances are +more striking than that of Jesus Christ being originally worshiped +under the form of a Lamb—the actual lamb of God which taketh away +the sins of the world. It does not appear to me to be more +extraordinary that his followers, as it is admitted that they did, +should call him a <i>fish</i> and the believers in him pisciculi, than +that they should call him a lamb, and his followers lambs. He was +originally represented as a lamb until one of the popes changed his +effigy to that of a man on a cross. Applying the astronomical +emblem of Pisces (♓) to Jesus, does not s seem more absurd than applying +the astronomical symbol of the Lamb (♈). +They applied to him the monogram of Bacchus, ΙΗΣ; the +astrological and alchymical mark or sign of Aries, or the Ram +(♈) and, in short, what was there that was Heathenish +that they have not applied to him? They have actually loaded his +simple and sublime religion with every absurdity of Gentilism. I +know not one absurdity that can be excepted."</p> + +<p class="block">In one of the windows of the Magnificent Cathedral of the +Incarnation, erected by Mrs. A.T. Stewart, at Garden City, N.Y., is +a painting representing the Sea of Tiberias. The "risen Lord," +clothed in rich robes of green, scarlet, and gold, is standing on +the seashore, with four of the apostles. Prominent among them is +the <i>great fisherman</i> St. Peter, who is grasping the end of a +seine. In the background is seen the mast and rigging of a fishing +boat. At the feet of Christ a fire is burning, and on the coals are +<i>two fishes</i>, like the two fishes in the Zodiacal sign <i>Pisces</i> +(♓). The artist has thus reproduced the ancient myth, +regardless of its astrological origin, and the mythical fishes of +the zodiac, with other ancient Pagan emblems, now symbolize +Christian faith in the so-called Cathedral of the Incarnation.—E.</p></blockquote> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> +<p> +"This Brahma of yours," said the Egyptian, "is a pleasant sort of an +animal, truly, to compare with our Apis. What great things hath your +Brahma done?"</p> + +<p>"It was he," replied the Brahmin, "that taught mankind to read and +write, and to whom the world is indebted for the game of chess."</p> + +<p>"Thou art mistaken," said a Chaldean who sat near him. "It is to the +fish Oannes that we owe these great advantages; and it is just that we +should render homage to none but him. All the world will tell thee, that +he is a divine being, with a golden tail, and a beautiful human head; +and that for three hours every day he left the water to preach on dry +land. He had several children, who were kings, as every one knows. I +have a picture of him at home, which I worship with becoming reverence. +We may eat as much beef as we please; but it is surely a great sin to +dress fish for the table. Besides, you are both of an origin too recent +and ignoble to dispute with me. The Egyptians reckon only a hundred and +thirty-five thousand years, and the Indians but eighty thousand, while +we have almanacs of four thousand ages. Believe me; renounce your +follies; and I will give to each of you a beautiful picture of Oannes."</p> + +<p>The man of Cathay took up the discourse, and said:</p> + +<p>"I have a great respect for the Egyptians, the Chaldeans, the Greeks, +the Celtics, Brahma, the bull Apis, and the beautiful fish Oannes; but I +could think that Li, or Tien, as he is commonly called, is superior to +all the bulls on the earth, or all the fish in the sea. I shall say +nothing of my native country; it is as large as Egypt, Chaldea, and the +Indies put together. Neither shall I dispute about the antiquity of our +nation; because it is of little consequence whether we are ancient or +not; it is enough if we are happy. But were it necessary to speak of +almanacs, I could say that all Asia takes ours, and that we had very +good ones before arithmetic was known in Chaldea."</p> + +<p>"Ignorant men, as ye all are," said the Greek; "do you not know that +Chaos is the father of all; and that form and matter have put the world +into its present condition?"</p> + +<p>The Greek spoke for a long time, but was at last interrupted by the +Celtic, who, having drank pretty deeply while the rest were disputing, +imagined he was now more knowing than all the others, and said, with an +oath, that there were none but Teutat and the mistletoe of the oak that +were worth the trouble of a dispute; that, for his own part, he had +always some mistletoe in his pocket, and that the Scythians, his +ancestors, were the only men of merit that had ever appeared in the +world; that it was true they had sometimes eaten human flesh, but that, +notwithstanding this circumstance, his nation deserved to be held in +great esteem; and that, in fine, if any one spoke ill of Teutat, he +would teach him better manners.</p> + +<p>The quarrel had now become warm, and Setoc feared the table would be +stained with blood.</p> + +<p>Zadig, who had been silent during the whole dispute, arose at last. He +first addressed himself to the Celtic, as the most furious of the +disputants. He told him that he had reason on his side, and begged a few +mistletoes. He then praised the Greek for his eloquence, and softened +all their exasperated spirits. He said but little to the man of Cathay, +because he had been the most reasonable of them all. At last he said:</p> + +<p>"You were going, my friends, to quarrel about nothing; for you are all +of one mind."</p> + +<p>At this assertion they all cried out in dissent.</p> + +<p>"Is it not true," said he to the Celtic, "that you adore not this +mistletoe, but him that made both the mistletoe and the oak?"</p> + +<p>"Most undoubtedly," replied the Celtic.</p> + +<p>"And thou, Mr. Egyptian, dost not thou revere, in a certain bull, him +who created the bulls?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said the Egyptian.</p> + +<p>"The fish Oannes," continued he, "must yield to him who made the sea and +the fishes. The Indian and the Cathaian," added he, "acknowledge a first +principle. I did not fully comprehend the admirable things that were +said by the Greek; but I am sure he will admit a superior being on whom +form and matter depend."</p> + +<p>The Greek, whom they all admired, said that Zadig had exactly taken his +meaning.</p> + +<p>"You are all then," replied Zadig, "of one opinion and have no cause to +quarrel."</p> + +<p>All the company embraced him.</p> + +<p>Setoc, after having sold his commodities at a very high price, returned +to his own tribe with his friend Zadig; who learned, upon his arrival, +that he had been tried in his absence and was now going to be burned by +a slow fire.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIIIz" id="XIIIz"></a>XIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE RENDEZVOUS.</span></h4> + + +<p>During his journey to Balzora the priests of the stars had resolved to +punish Zadig. The precious stones and ornaments of the young widows whom +they sent to the funeral pile belonged to them of right; and the least +they could now do was to burn Zadig for the ill office he had done them. +Accordingly they accused him of entertaining erroneous sentiments of the +heavenly host. They deposed against him, and swore that they had heard +him say that the stars did not set in the sea. This horrid blasphemy +made the judges tremble; they were ready to tear their garments upon +hearing these impious words; and they would certainly have torn them had +Zadig had wherewithal to pay them for new ones. But, in the excess of +their zeal and indignation, they contented themselves with condemning +him to be burnt by a slow fire. Setoc, filled with despair at this +unhappy event, employed all his interest to save his friend, but in +vain. He was soon obliged to hold his peace. The young widow, Almona, +who had now conceived a great fondness for life, for which she was +obliged to Zadig, resolved to deliver him from the funeral pile, of the +abuse of which he had fully convinced her. She resolved the scheme in +her own mind, without imparting it to any person whatever. Zadig was to +be executed the next day. If she could save him at all, she must do it +that very night; and the method taken by this charitable and prudent +lady was as follows:</p> + +<p>She perfumed herself, she heightened her beauty by the richest and +gayest apparel, and went to demand an audience of the chief priest of +the stars. As soon as she was introduced to the venerable old man, she +addressed him in these terms:</p> + +<p>"Eldest son of the great bear, brother of the bull, and cousin of the +great dog, (such were the titles of this pontiff,) I come to acquaint +thee with my scruples. I am much afraid that I have committed a heinous +crime in not burning myself on the funeral pile of my dear husband; for, +indeed, what had I worth preserving? Perishable flesh, thou seest, that +is already entirely withered." So saying, she drew up her long sleeves +of silk, and showed her naked arms, which were of an elegant shape and a +dazzling whiteness. "Thou seest," said she, that these are little worth. +The priest found in his heart that they were worth a great deal. He +swore that he had never in his life seen such beautiful arms. "Alas!" +said the widow, "my arms, perhaps, are not so bad as the rest; but thou +wilt confess that my neck is not worthy of the least regard." She then +discovered the most charming neck that nature had ever formed. Compared +to it a rose-bud on an apple of ivory would have appeared like madder on +the box-tree, and the whiteness of new-washed lambs would have seemed of +a dusky yellow. Her large black eyes, languishing with the gentle lustre +of a tender fire; her cheeks animated with the finest pink, mixed with +the whiteness of milk; her nose, which had no resemblance to the tower +of Mount Lebanon; her lips, like two borders of coral, inclosing the +nest pearls in the Arabian Sea; all conspired to make the old man fancy +and believe that he was young again. Almona, seeing his admiration, now +entreated him to pardon Zadig. "Alas!" said he, "my charming lady, +should I grant thee his pardon, it would be of no service, as it must +necessarily be signed by three others, my brethren." "Sign it, however," +said Almona. "With all my heart," said the priest. "Be pleased to visit +me," said Almona, "when the bright star of Sheat shall appear in the +horizon."</p> + +<p>Almona then went to the second pontiff. He assured her that the sun, the +moon, and all the luminaries of heaven, were but glimmering meteors in +comparison to her charms. She asked the same favor of him, and he also +granted it readily. She then appointed the second pontiff to meet her at +the rising of the star Algenib. From thence she went to the third and +fourth priest, always taking their signatures, and making an appointment +from star to star. She then sent a message to the judges, entreating +them to come to her house on an affair of great importance. They +obeyed her summons. She showed them the four names, and told them that +the priests had granted the pardon of Zadig. Each of the pontiffs +arrived at the hour appointed. Each was surprised at finding his +brethren there, but still more at seeing the judges also present. Zadig +was saved; and Setoc was so charmed with the skill and address of Almona +that he at once made her his wife.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<a name="Almona" id="Almona"></a> +<img src="images/img_020_almona.jpg" width="400" alt="Almona." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Almona.—Almona, seeing his admiration, now entreated him +to pardon Zadig. "<i>Alas!</i>" said he, "<i>my charming lady, should I grant thee +his pardon, it would be of no service, as it must necessarily be signed +by three others, my brethren</i>. <i>Sign it, however</i>," said Almona.</span> +</div> + +<p>Business affairs now required Setoc's presence in the island of +Serendib; but during the first month of his marriage—the month which is +called the honeymoon—he could not permit himself to leave Almona, nor +even to think he could ever leave her, and he requested Zadig to make +the journey in his place. "Alas!" said Zadig, "must I put a still +greater distance between the beautiful Astarte and myself? But it would +be ungrateful not to serve my friend, and I will endeavor to do my +duty."</p> + +<p>Setoc and Zadig now took leave of each other with tears in their eyes, +both swearing an eternal friendship, and promising to always share their +fortunes with each other. Zadig then, after having thrown himself at the +feet of his fair deliverer, set out on his journey to Serendib, still +musing on the unhappy Astarte, and meditating on the severity of +fortune, which seemed to persistently make him the sport of her cruelty +and the object of her persecution.</p> + +<p>"What!" said he to himself, "fined four hundred ounces of gold for +having observed a bitch! condemned to lose my head for four bad verses +in praise of the king! sentenced to be strangled because the queen had +shoes the color of my turban! reduced to slavery for having succored a +woman who was beaten! and on the point of being burned for having saved +the lives of all the young widows of Arabia!"</p> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h3>XIII.(1)</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE DANCE.</span></h4> + + +<p>Arriving in due time at the island of Serendib, Zadig's merits were at +once recognized, and he was popularly regarded as an extraordinary man. +He became the friend of the wise and learned, the arbitrator of +disputes, and the advisor of the small number of those who were willing +to take advice. He was duly presented to the king, who was pleased with +his affability, and soon chose him for his friend. But this royal favor +caused Zadig to tremble; for he well remembered the misfortunes which +the kindness of king Moabdar had formerly brought upon him. "I please +the king," said he; "shall I not therefore be lost?" Still he could not +refuse the king's friendship, for it must be confessed that Nabussan, +king of Serendib, son of Nassanab, son of Nabassun, son of Sanbusna, was +one of the most amiable princes in Asia.</p> + +<p>But this good prince was always flattered, deceived, and robbed. It was +a contest who should most pillage the royal treasury. The example set by +the receiver-general of Serendib was universally followed by the +inferior officers.</p> + +<p>This the king knew. He had often changed his treasurers, but had never +been able to change the established custom of dividing the revenues into +two unequal parts, of which the smaller came to his majesty, and the +larger to his officers.</p> + +<p>This custom Nabussan explained to Zadig. "You, whose knowledge embraces +so many subjects," said he, "can you not tell me how to select a +treasurer who will not rob me?" "Assuredly," said Zadig; "I know a sure +method for finding you a man who will keep his hands clean."</p> + +<p>The king was charmed, and asked, while he embraced him, how this was to +be done.</p> + +<p>"You have only," said Zadig, "to cause all those who apply for the +office of treasurer to dance. He who dances the lightest will surely +prove to be the most honest man."</p> + +<p>"You jest," said the king. "A strange way, certainly, of choosing a +receiver of my revenues. What! do you pretend that he who cuts the +neatest caper will be the most just and skillful financier?"</p> + +<p>"I will not answer," returned Zadig, "for his being the most skillful, +but I assure you he will be the most honest."</p> + +<p>Zadig spoke with so much confidence that the king imagined he had some +supernatural test for selecting honest financiers.</p> + +<p>"I do not like the supernatural," said Zadig: "people and books dealing +in prodigies have always displeased me. If your majesty will permit me +to make the test, you will be convinced it is the easiest and simplest +thing possible."</p> + +<p>Nabussan consented, and was more astonished to hear that the test was +simple, than if it had been claimed as a miracle.</p> + +<p>"Leave all the details to me," said Zadig: "You will gain more by this +trial than you imagine."</p> + +<p>The same day he made proclamation in the king's name, that all +candidates for the office of receiver-in-chief of the revenues of his +gracious majesty Nabussan, son of Nussanab, must present themselves in +dresses of light silk, on the first day of the month of the crocodile, +in the king's anti-chamber. The candidates came, accordingly, to the +number of sixty-four. Musicians were placed in an adjoining room, and +all was prepared for the dance. As the door of the saloon was closed, it +was necessary, in order to enter it, to pass through a small gallery +which was slightly darkened. An usher directed each candidate in +succession through this obscure passage, in which he was left alone for +some moments. The king, being aware of the plan, had temptingly spread +out in this gallery many of his choicest treasures. When all the +candidates were assembled in the saloon, the king ordered the band to +play and the dance to begin. Never had dancers performed more +unwillingly or with less grace. Their heads were down, their backs bent, +their hands pressed to their sides.</p> + +<p>"What rascals!" murmured Zadig.</p> + +<p>One alone danced with grace and agility,—his head up, his look assured, +his body erect, his arms free, his motions natural.</p> + +<p>"Ah, the honest man, the excellent man!" cried Zadig.</p> + +<p>The king embraced this upright dancer, appointed him treasurer, and +punished all the others with the utmost justice, for each one had, while +passing through the gallery, filled his pockets till he could hardly +walk. His majesty was distressed at this exhibition of dishonesty, and +regretted that among these sixty-four dancers there should be +sixty-three thieves. This dark gallery was then named the Corridor of +Temptation.</p> + +<p>In Persia these sixty-three lords would have been impaled; in other +countries a chamber of justice would have consumed in costs three times +the money stolen, replacing nothing in the king's coffers; in yet +another kingdom they would have been honorably acquitted, and the light +dancer disgraced; in Serendib they were only sentenced to add to the +public treasure, for Nabussan was very indulgent.</p> + +<p>He was also very grateful, and willingly gave Zadig a larger sum than +any treasurer had ever stolen from the revenue. This wealth Zadig used +to send a courier to Babylon to learn the fate of queen Astarte. His +voice trembled when directing the courier. His blood seemed to stagnate +in his veins. His heart almost ceased to beat. His eyes were suffused +with tears.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3>XIII.(2)</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">BLUE EYES.</span></h4> + + +<p>After the courier had gone, Zadig returned to the palace; and forgetting +that he was not in his own room, almost unconsciously uttered the word +LOVE.</p> + +<p>"Ah! love," exclaimed the king, "that is indeed the cause of my +unhappiness. You have divined what it is that causes me pain. You are +indeed a great man. I hope you will assist me in my search for a woman, +perfect in all respects, and of whose affection I may feel assured. You +have proved your ability for this service by selecting for me an honest +financier, and I have entire confidence in your success."</p> + +<p>Zadig, having recovered his composure, promised to serve the king in +love as he had in finance, although the task seemed to him far more +difficult.</p> + +<p>"The body and the heart," said the king.</p> + +<p>At these words Zadig could not refrain from interrupting his majesty: +"You show good taste," said he, "by not saying the mind and the heart; +for we hear nothing but these words in the talk of Babylon. We see +nothing but books which treat of the heart and mind, written by people +who have neither the one nor the other: but pardon me, sire, and deign +to continue."</p> + +<p>"I have in my palace," said the king, "one hundred women who are all +called charming, graceful, beautiful, affectionate even, or pretending +to be so when in my company; but I have too often realized that it is to +the king of Serendib they pay court, and that they care very little for +Nabussan. This pretended affection does not satisfy my desires. I would +find a consort that loves me for myself, and who would willingly be all +my own. For such a treasure I would joyfully barter the hundred +beauties whose forced smiles afford me no delight. Let us see if out of +these hundred queens you can select one true woman to bless me with her +love."</p> + +<p>Zadig replied to him as he had previously done in regard to the +finances: "Sire, allow me to make the attempt, and permit me to again +use the treasure formerly displayed in the Corridor of Temptation. I +will render you a faithful account."</p> + +<p>The king willingly acceded to this request, and permitted Zadig to do as +he desired. He first chose thirty-three of the ugliest little hunchbacks +that could be procured in Serendib, then thirty-three of the handsomest +pages to be found, and, lastly, thirty-three bonzes, (priests), the most +eloquent and robust he could select. He gave them all liberty to enter +the king's private apartments in the palace, and secure a partner if +they so desired. Each little hunchback had four thousand gold pieces +given to him: and on the first day each had secured a companion. The +pages, who had nothing to give but themselves, did not succeed in many +cases until the end of two or three days. The priests had still more +trouble in obtaining partners, but, finally, thirty-three devotees +joined their fortunes with these pious suitors. The king, through the +blinds which opened into his apartments, saw all these trials, and was +astounded. Of these hundred women, ninety-nine discarded his protection. +There still remained one, however, still quite young, with whom his +majesty had never conversed. They sent to her one, two, three +hunchbacks, who displayed before her twenty thousand pieces of gold. She +still remained firm, and could not refrain from laughing at the idea of +these cripples, that wealth could change their appearance. They then +presented before her the two most beautiful pages. She said she thought +the king was still more beautiful. They attacked her with the most +eloquent of the priests, and afterward with the most audacious. She +found the first a prattler, and could not perceive any merit in the +second.</p> + +<p>"The heart," said she, "is everything. I will never yield to the +hunchbacks' gold, the pages' vanity, or the pompous prattle of the +priests. I love only Nabussan, son of Nussanab, and I will wait until he +condescends to love me in return."</p> + +<p>The king was transported with joy, astonishment, and love. He took back +all the money that had brought success to the hunchbacks, and made a +present of it the beautiful Falide, which was the name of this charming +lady. He gave her his heart, which she amply deserved, for never were +glances from female eyes more brilliant than her own, nor the charms of +youthful beauty more enchanting. Envy, it is true, asserted that she +courtesied awkwardly; but candor compels the admission that she danced +like the fairies, acted like the graces, sang like the sirens, and that +she was in truth the very embodiment of intelligence and virtue. +Nabussan loved and adored her; but, alas! she had BLUE EYES, and this +apparently trivial fact was the cause of the gravest misfortunes.</p> + +<p>There was an old law in Serendib forbidding the kings to marry those to +whom the Greeks applied the word <i>Βοῶπις</i>. +<a name="FNanchor_1_18" id="FNanchor_1_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_18" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> A +high-priest had established this law thousands of years ago. He had +anathematized blue eyes in order that he might secure for himself the +hand of the king's favorite. The various orders of the empire now +remonstrated with Nabussan for disregarding this organic law and loving +the beautiful Falide. They publicly asserted that the last days of the +kingdom had arrived—that this act of royal love was the height of +sacrilege—that all nature was threatened with a sinister ending—and +all because Nabussan, son of Nussanab, loved two magnificent blue eyes. +The cripples, the capitalists, the bonzes and the brunettes filled the +kingdom with their complaints.</p> + +<p>The barbarians of the northern provinces profited by the general +discontent. They invaded the territory of the good Nabussan and demanded +a tribute from his subjects. The priests, who possessed half the +revenues of the state, contented themselves with raising their hands to +heaven, and refused to put them in their coffers to aid the king. They +chanted beautiful prayers, and left the state a prey to the invaders.</p> + +<p>"Oh! my dear Zadig," sadly cried Nabussan, "can you not rescue me from +this impending danger?"</p> + +<p>"Very willingly," replied Zadig: "you shall have for your defence as +much money from the priests as you may desire. Leave, I pray you, +without guard the property of the bonzes, and defend only your own +possessions."</p> + +<p>Nabussan wisely followed this advice. The priests became alarmed, threw +themselves at his feet and implored his protection. The king replied +with agreeable music, and chanted forth prayers and invocations to +heaven with much sweetness and melody; finally, the priests reluctantly +contributed the money, and the king brought the war to a happy +termination.</p> + +<p>Thus Zadig by his sensible advice and judicious services drew upon +himself the enmity of the most powerful parties in the state. The bonzes +and the brunettes swore to destroy him; the capitalists and the cripples +did not spare him. They caused the good Nabussan to suspect him. +"Services rendered often remain in the anti-chamber, and distrust enters +into the cabinet." So said Zoroaster. Every day there were fresh +accusations: the first is repelled; the second is lightly thought of; +the third wounds; the fourth kills.</p> + +<p>Zadig was dismayed, and having now satisfactorily arranged Setoc's +affairs, he only thought of leaving the island in safety.</p> + +<p>"But where shall I go?" said he. "If I remain in Serendib the priests +will doubtless have me impaled; in Egypt I would probably be enslaved, +burnt, according to all appearances, in Arabia; strangled in Babylon. +However, I must learn what has become of Queen Astarte, and will go on +and see what sad fate destiny has still in store for me."</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_18" id="Footnote_1_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_18"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Having large, full, finely rounded eyes. In Homer, always +applied to females, and most frequently to the goddess Juno, as a point +of majestic beauty.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIVz" id="XIVz"></a>XIV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE ROBBER.</span></h4> + + +<p>Arriving on the frontiers which divide Arabia Petræa from Syria, he +passed by a very strong castle from which a party of armed Arabians +sallied forth. They instantly surrounded him and cried:</p> + +<p>"All thou hast belongs to us, and thy person is the property of our +master."</p> + +<p>Zadig replied by drawing his sword; his servant, who was a man of +courage, did the same. They killed the first Arabians that presumed to +lay hands on them; and though the number was redoubled, they were not +dismayed, but resolved to perish in the conflict. Two men defended +themselves against a multitude; but such combat could not last long, +the master of the castle, whose name was Arbogad, having observed from a +window the prodigies of valor performed by Zadig, conceived a high +esteem for this heroic stranger. He descended in haste, and went in +person to call off his men and deliver the two travelers.</p> + +<p>"All that passes over my lands," said he, "belongs to me, as well as +what I find upon the lands of others; but thou seemest to be a man of +such undaunted courage, that I will exempt thee from the common law."</p> + +<p>He then conducted him to his castle, ordering his men to treat him well; +and in the evening Arbogad supped with Zadig. The lord of the castle was +one of those Arabians who are commonly called robbers; but he now and +then performed some good actions amidst a multitude of bad ones. He +robbed with a furious rapacity, and granted favors with great +generosity. He was intrepid in action; affable in company; a debauchee +at table, but gay in his debauchery; and particularly remarkable for his +frank and open behavior. He was highly pleased with Zadig, whose lively +conversation lengthened the repast. At last Arbogad said to him:</p> + +<p>"I advise thee to enroll thy name in my catalogue. Thou canst not do +better. This is not a bad trade, and thou mayest one day become what I +am at present."</p> + +<p>"May I take the liberty of asking thee," said Zadig, "how long thou hast +followed this noble profession?"</p> + +<p>"From my most tender youth," replied the lord, "I was servant to a +petty, good-natured Arabian, but could not endure the hardships of my +situation. I was vexed to find that fate had given me no share of the +earth which equally belongs to all men. I imparted the cause of my +uneasiness to an old Arabian, who said to me:</p> + +<p>"'My son, do not despair; there was once a grain of sand that lamented +that it was no more than a neglected atom in the deserts; at the end of +a few years it became a diamond, and it is now the brightest ornament in +the crown of the king of the Indies.'</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 420px;"> +<a name="Zadig_and_the_brigand" id="Zadig_and_the_brigand"></a> +<img src="images/img_021_the_brigand.jpg" width="420" alt="ZADIG AND THE BRIGAND." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Zadig and the brigand.—"<i>I advise thee to enroll thy name +in my catalogue. Thou canst not do better</i>," said the robber, "<i>This is +not a bad trade, and thou mayest one day become what I am at present</i>."</span> +</div> + +<p>"This discourse made a deep impression on my mind. I was the grain of +sand, and I resolved to become the diamond. I began by stealing two +horses. I soon got a party of companions. I put myself in a condition to +rob small caravans; and thus, by degrees, I destroyed the difference +which had formerly subsisted between me and other men. I had my share of +the good things of this world; and was even recompensed with usury for +the hardships I had suffered. I was greatly respected, and became the +captain of a band of robbers. I seized this castle by force. The satrap +of Syria had a mind to dispossess me of it; but I was too rich to have +any thing to fear. I gave the satrap a handsome present, by which means +I preserved my castle, and increased my possessions. He even appointed +me treasurer of the tributes which Arabia Petræa pays to the king of +kings. I perform my office of receiver with great punctuality; but take +the freedom to dispense with that of paymaster.</p> + +<p>"The grand Desterham of Babylon sent hither a petty satrap in the name +of king Moabdar, to have me strangled. This man arrived with his orders. +I was apprised of all. I caused to be strangled in his presence the four +persons he had brought with him to draw the noose; after which I asked +him how much his commission of strangling me might be worth. He replied, +that his fees would amount to above three hundred pieces of gold. I then +convinced him that he might gain more by staying with me. I made him an +inferior robber; and he is now one of my best and richest officers. If +thou wilt take my advice, thy success may be equal to his. Never was +there a better season for plunder, since king Moabdar is killed, and all +Babylon thrown into confusion."</p> + +<p>"Moabdar killed!" said Zadig, "and what has become of queen Astarte?"</p> + +<p>"I know not," replied Arbogad. "All I know is, that Moabdar lost his +senses and was killed; that Babylon is a scene of disorder and +bloodshed; that all the empire is desolated; that there are some fine +strokes to be made yet; and that, for my own part, I have struck some +that are admirable."</p> + +<p>"But the queen," said Zadig; "for heaven's sake, knowest thou nothing of +the queen's fate?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," replied he, "I have heard something of a prince of Plircania. If +she was not killed in the tumult, she is probably one of his +concubines. But I am much fonder of booty than news. I have taken +several women in my excursions, but I keep none of them. I sell them at +a high price when they are beautiful, without enquiring who they are. In +commodities of this kind rank makes no difference, and a queen that is +ugly will never find a merchant. Perhaps I may have sold queen Astarte; +perhaps she is dead; but, be it as it will, it is of little consequence +to me, and I should imagine of as little to thee."</p> + +<p>So saying, he drank a large draught, which threw all his ideas into such +confusion that Zadig could obtain no farther information.</p> + +<p>Zadig remained for some time without speech, sense, or motion. Arbogad +continued drinking, constantly repeated that he was the happiest man in +the world; and exhorted Zadig to put himself in the same condition. At +last the soporiferous fume of the wine lulled him into a gentle repose. +Zadig passed the night in the most violent perturbation.</p> + +<p>"What," said he, "did the king lose his senses? and is he killed? I +cannot help lamenting his fate. The empire is rent in pieces: and this +robber is happy. O fortune! O destiny! A robber is happy, and the most +beautiful of nature's works hath perhaps perished in a barbarous manner, +or lives in a state worse than death. O Astarte! what has become of +thee?"</p> + +<p>At day break, he questioned all those he met in the castle; but they +were all busy and he received no answer. During the night they had made +a new capture, and they were now employed in dividing the spoil. All he +could obtain in this hurry and confusion was an opportunity of +departing, which he immediately embraced, plunged deeper than ever in +the most gloomy and mournful reflections.</p> + +<p>Zadig proceeded on his journey with a mind full of disquiet and +perplexity, and wholly employed on the unhappy Astarte on the king of +Babylon, on his faithful friend Cador, on the happy robber Arbogad, on +that capricious woman whom the Babylonians had seized on the frontiers +of Egypt. In a word, on all the misfortunes and disappointments he had +hitherto suffered.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVz" id="XVz"></a>XV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE FISHERMAN.</span></h4> + + +<p>At few leagues distance from Arbogad's castle he came to the banks of a +small river, still deploring his fate, and considering himself as the +most wretched of mankind. He saw a fisherman lying on the bank of the +river, scarcely holding in his weak and feeble hand a net which he +seemed ready to drop, and lifting up his eyes to heaven.</p> + +<p>"I am certainly," said the fisherman, "the most unhappy man in the +world. I was universally allowed to be the most famous dealer in +cream-cheese in Babylon, and yet I am ruined. I had the most handsome +wife that any man in my situation could have; and by her I have been +betrayed. I had still left a paltry house, and that I have seen pillaged +and destroyed. At last I took refuge in this cottage, where I have no +other resource than fishing, and yet I cannot catch a single fish. Oh, +my net! no more will I throw thee into the water; I will throw myself in +thy place."</p> + +<p>So saying, he arose and advanced forward, in the attitude of a man ready +to throw himself into the river, and thus to finish his life.</p> + +<p>"What," said Zadig, "are there men as wretched as I?"</p> + +<p>His eagerness to save the fisherman's life was as sudden as this +reflection. He runs to him, stops him, and speaks to him with a tender +and compassionate air. It is commonly supposed that we are less +miserable when we have companions in our misery. This, according to +Zoroaster, does not proceed from malice, but necessity. We feel +ourselves insensibly drawn to an unhappy person as to one like +ourselves. The joy of the happy would be an insult; but two men in +distress are like two slender trees, which, mutually supporting each +other, fortify themselves against the tempest.</p> + +<p>"Why," said Zadig to the fisherman, "dost thou sink under thy +misfortunes?"</p> + +<p>"Because," replied he, "I see no means of relief. I was the most +considerable man in the village of Derlback, near Babylon, and with the +assistance of my wife I made the best cream-cheese in the empire. Queen +Astarte, and the famous minister, Zadig, were extremely fond of them. I +had sent them six hundred cheeses, and one day went to the city to +receive my money; but, on my arrival at Babylon, was informed that the +queen and Zadig had disappeared. I ran to the house of Lord Zadig, whom +I had never seen; and found there the inferior officers of the grand +Desterham, who being furnished with a royal license, were plundering it +with great loyalty and order. From thence I flew to the queen's kitchen, +some of the lords of which told me that the queen was dead; some said +she was in prison; and others pretended that she had made her escape; +but they all agreed in assuring me that I would not be paid for my +cheese. I went with my wife to the house of Lord Orcan, who was one of +my customers, and begged his protection in my present distress. He +granted it to my wife, but refused it to me. She was whiter than the +cream-cheeses that began my misfortune, and the lustre of the Tyrian +purple was not more bright than the carnation which animated this +whiteness. For this reason Orcan detained her, and drove me from his +house. In my despair I wrote a letter to my dear wife. She said to the +bearer, 'Ha, ha! I know the writer of this a little. I have heard his +name mentioned. They say he I makes excellent cream-cheeses. Desire him +to send me some and he shall be paid.'</p> + +<p>"In my distress I resolved to apply to justice. I had still six ounces +of gold remaining. I was obliged to give two to the lawyer whom I +consulted, two to the procurator who undertook my cause, and two to the +secretary of the first judge. When all this was done, my business was +not begun; and I had already expended more money than my cheese and my +wife were worth. I returned to my own village, with an intention to sell +my house, in order to enable me to recover my wife.</p> + +<p>"My house was well worth sixty ounces of gold; but as my neighbors saw +that I was poor and obliged to sell it, the first to whom I applied +offered me thirty ounces, the second twenty, and the third ten. Bad as +these offers were, I was so blind that I was going to strike a bargain, +when a prince of Hircania came to Babylon, and ravaged all in his way. +My house was first sacked and then burned.</p> + +<p>"Having thus lost my money, my wife, and my house, I retired into this +country, where thou now seest me. I have endeavored to gain a +subsistence by fishing; but the fish make a mock of thee as well as the +men. I catch none; I die with hunger; and had it not been for thee, +august comforter, I should have perished in the river."</p> + +<p>The fisherman was not allowed to give this long account without +interruption; at every moment, Zadig, moved and transported, said:</p> + +<p>"What! knowest thou nothing of the queen's fate?"</p> + +<p>"No my lord," replied the fisherman; "but I know that neither the queen +nor Zadig have paid me for my cream-cheeses; that I have lost my wife, +and am now reduced to despair."</p> + +<p>"I flatter myself," said Zadig, "that thou wilt not lose all thy money. +I have heard of this Zadig; he is an honest man; and if he return to +Babylon, as he expects, he will give thee more than he owes thee. But +with regard to thy wife, who is not so honest, I advise thee not to seek +to recover her. Believe me, go to Babylon; I shall be there before thee, +because I am on horseback, and thou art on foot. Apply to the +illustrious Cador. Tell him thou hast met his friend. Wait for me at his +house. Go, perhaps thou wilt not always be unhappy.</p> + +<p>"O powerful Oromazes!" continued he, "thou employest me to comfort this +man. Whom wilt thou employ to give me consolation?"</p> + +<p>So saying, he gave the fisherman half the money he had brought from +Arabia. The fisherman, struck with surprise and ravished with joy, +kissed the feet of the friend of Cador, and said:</p> + +<p>"Thou art surely an angel sent from heaven to save me!" Meanwhile Zadig +continued to make fresh inquiries and to shed tears. "What! my lord," +cried the fisherman, "and art thou then so unhappy, thou who bestowest +favors?"</p> + +<p>"A hundred times more unhappy than thee," replied Zadig.</p> + +<p>"But how is it possible," said the good man, "that the giver can be more +wretched than the receiver?"</p> + +<p>"Because," replied Zadig, "thy greatest misery arose from poverty, and +mine is seated in the heart."</p> + +<p>"Did Orcan take thy wife from thee?" said the fisherman.</p> + +<p>This word recalled to Zadig's mind the whole of his adventures. He +repeated the catalogue of his misfortunes, beginning with the queen's +bitch and ending with his arrival at the castle of the robber Arbogad.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said he to the fisherman, "Orcan deserves to be punished: but it +is commonly such men as those that are the favorites of fortune. +However, go thou to the house of Lord Cador, and there await my +arrival."</p> + +<p>They then parted: the fisherman walked, thanking heaven for the +happiness of his condition; and Zadig rode, accusing fortune for the +hardness of his lot.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVIz" id="XVIz"></a>XVI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE BASILISK.</span></h4> + + +<p>Arriving in a beautiful meadow, he there saw several women, who were +searching for something with great application. He took the liberty to +approach one of them, and to ask if he might have the honor to assist +them in their search.</p> + +<p>"Take care that thou dost not," replied the Syrian. "What we are +searching for can be touched only by women."</p> + +<p>"Strange," said Zadig. "May I presume to ask thee what it is that women +only are permitted to touch?"</p> + +<p>"It is a basilisk," said she.</p> + +<p>"A basilisk, madam! and for what purpose, pray, dost thou seek for a +basilisk?"</p> + +<p>"It is for our lord and master, Ogul, whose castle thou seest on the +bank of that river, at the end of that meadow. We are his most humble +slaves. The lord Ogul is sick. His physician hath ordered him to eat a +basilisk, stewed in rose-water; and as it is a very rare animal, and can +only be taken by women, the lord Ogul hath promised to choose for his +well-beloved wife the woman that shall bring him a basilisk. Let me go +on in my search; for thou seest what I shall lose if I am forestalled by +my companions."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 607px;"> +<a name="The_basilisk" id="The_basilisk"></a> +<img src="images/img_022_basilisk.jpg" width="607" alt="THE BASILISK." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The basilisk.</span> +</div> + +<h5>THE BASILISK, OR COCKATRICE.</h5> +<blockquote><p>The Basilisk, called "Cockatrice" in "holy writ," was first +described by certain ancient historians of unquestioned imaginative +ability, but of very doubtful veracity; and they have also enriched +the popular mythology with minute descriptions of the Phoenix, the +Griffin, the Centaur, the Chimera, the Unicorn, and many other +fanciful and mythical creations.</p> + +<p>The learned and pious naturalist, Charles Owen, D.D., of London, +England, (from whose celebrated <i>Essay Towards a Natural History of +Serpents</i>, published in 1742, the preceding engraving has been +copied), tells us that "the Basilisk is a serpent of the Draconick +line—the property of Africa; that in shape it resembles a cock, +the tail excepted; that the Egyptians say it springs from the egg +of the bird Ibis, and others, from eggs of a cock; that it is gross +in body, of fiery eyes and sharp head, on which it wears a crest +like a cock's comb; that it has the honor to be styled Regulus by +the Latins—<i>the little king of serpents</i>; that it is terrible to +them, and its voice puts them to flight, that, as tradition adds, +its eyes and breath are killing; that dreadful things are +attributed to it by the poets; and that, according to Pliny, the +venom of the Basilisk is said to be so exalted, that if it bites a +staff 'twill kill the person that makes use of it; but this," +continues the reverend doctor of divinity, "is tradition without a +voucher."</p> + +<p>The "inspired" prophet Isaiah, whose writings are venerated by both +Jews and Christians, and whose prophetic utterances have so long +been discussed with more zeal than discretion by the sectarians, +tells us, (Isaiah xiv. 29), that "Out of the serpent's root shall +come forth a Cockatrice, and his fruit <i>shall be</i> a fiery, flying +serpent." This somewhat incoherent prediction has never been +satisfactorily explained by the learned commentators who are +specially educated in our colleges for solving theological enigmas, +and who have failed to show, to the confusion of scientists and the +admiration of a believing world, how a Cockatrice may emerge from a +"serpent's root," and why a Cockatrice's "fiery and flying fruit" +should have formed a theme for prophetic inspiration.—E.</p></blockquote> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 375px;"> +<a name="Zadig_discovers_Queen_Astarte" id="Zadig_discovers_Queen_Astarte"></a> +<img src="images/img_023_queen_astarte.jpg" width="375" alt="Zadig discovers Queen Astarte." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Zadig discovers Queen Astarte.--"In her hand she held a +small rod with which she was tracing characters on the fine sand that +lay between the turf and the brook."</span> +</div> + +<p>Zadig left her and the other Assyrians to search for their basilisk, and +continued his journey through the meadow; when coming to the brink of a +small rivulet, he found a lady lying on the grass, and who was not +searching for any thing. Her person seemed majestic; but her face was +covered with a veil. She was inclined toward the rivulet, and profound +sighs proceeded from her bosom. In her hand she held a small rod with +which she was tracing characters on the fine sand that lay between the +turf and the brook.</p> + +<p>Zadig had the curiosity to examine what this woman was writing. He drew +near. He saw the letter Z, then an A; he was astonished: then appeared a +D; he started. But never was surprise equal to his, when he saw the two +last letters of his name. He stood for some time immovable. At last +breaking silence with a faltering voice:</p> + +<p>"Oh! generous lady!" pardon a stranger, an unfortunate man, for +presuming to ask thee by what surprising adventure I here find the name +of Zadig traced out by thy divine hand?'</p> + +<p>At this voice and these words, the lady lifted up the veil with a +trembling hand, looked at Zadig, sent forth a cry of tenderness, +surprise, and joy, and sinking under the various emotions which at once +assaulted her soul fell speechless into his arms. It was Astarte +herself; it was the queen of Babylon; it was she whom Zadig adored, and +whom he had reproached himself for adoring; it was she whose misfortunes +he had so deeply lamented, and for whose fate he had been so anxiously +concerned. He was for a moment deprived of the use of his senses, when +he had fixed his eyes on those of Astarte, which now began to open again +with a languor mixed with confusion and tenderness:</p> + +<p>"O ye immortal powers!" cried he, "who preside over the fates of weak +mortals; do ye indeed restore Astarte to me? At what a time, in what a +place, and in what a condition do I again behold her?"</p> + +<p>He fell on his knees before Astarte, and laid his face in the dust at +her feet. The queen of Babylon raised him up, and made him sit by her +side on the brink of the rivulet. She frequently wiped her eyes, from +which the tears continued to flow afresh. She twenty times resumed her +discourse, which her sighs as often interrupted. She asked by what +strange accident they were brought together, and suddenly prevented his +answer by other questions. She waived the account of her own +misfortunes, and desired to be informed of those of Zadig. At last, both +of them having a little composed the tumult of their souls, Zadig +acquainted her in a few words by what adventure he was brought into that +meadow.</p> + +<p>"But, O unhappy and respectable queen! by what means do I find thee in +this lonely place, clothed in the habit of a slave, and accompanied by +other female slaves, who are searching for a basilisk, which, by order +of the physician, is to be stewed in rose-water?"</p> + +<p>"While they are searching for their basilisk," said the fair Astarte, "I +will inform thee of all I have suffered, for which heaven has +sufficiently recompensed me, by restoring thee to my sight. Thou knowest +that the king, my husband, was vexed to see thee, the most amiable of +mankind; and that for this reason he one night resolved to strangle thee +and poison me. Thou knowest how heaven permitted my little mute to +inform me of the orders of his sublime majesty. Hardly had the faithful +Cador obliged thee to depart, in obedience to my command, when he +ventured to enter my apartment at midnight by a secret passage. He +carried me off, and conducted me to the temple of Oromazes, where the +magi, his brother, shut me up in that huge statue, whose base reaches to +the foundation of the temple, and whose top rises to the summit of the +dome. I was there buried in a manner; but was served by the magi, and +supplied with all the necessaries of life. At break of day his majesty's +apothecary entered my chamber with a potion composed of a mixture of +henbane, opium, hemlock, black hellebore, and aconite; and another +officer went to thine with a bowstring of blue silk. Neither of us were +to be found. Cador, the better to deceive the king, pretended to come +and accuse us both. He said that thou hadst taken the road to the +Indies, and I that to Memphis; on which the king's guards were +immediately dispatched in pursuit of us both.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 607px;"> +<a name="Cador_concealing_Astarte" id="Cador_concealing_Astarte"></a> +<img src="images/img_024_cador_astarte.jpg" width="607" alt="Cador concealing Astarte in the temple of Oromazes." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Cador concealing Astarte in the temple of Oromazes.</span> +</div> + +<p>"The couriers who pursured me did not know me. I had hardly ever shown +my face to any but thee, and to thee only in the presence and by the +order of my husband. They conducted themselves in the pursuit by the +description that had been given of my person. On the frontiers of Egypt +they met with a woman of the same stature with me, and possessed perhaps +of greater charms. She was weeping and wandering. They made no doubt but +that this woman was the queen of Babylon, and accordingly brought her to +Moabdar. Their mistake at first threw the king into a violent passion; +but having viewed this woman more attentively, he found her extremely +handsome, and was comforted. She was called Missouf. I have since been +informed that this name in the Egyptian language signifies the +capricious fair one. She was so in reality; but she had as much cunning +as caprice. She pleased Moabdar, and gained such an ascendency over him +as to make him choose her for his wife. Her character then began to +appear in its true colors. She gave herself up, without scruple, to all +the freaks of a wanton imagination. She would have obliged the chief of +the magi, who was old and gouty, to dance before her; and on his +refusal, she persecuted him with the most unrelenting cruelty. She +ordered her master of the horse to make her a pie of sweetmeats. In vain +did he represent that he was not a pastry-cook. He was obliged to make +it, and lost his place because it was baked a little too hard. The post +of master of the horse she gave to her dwarf, and that of Chancellor to +her page. In this manner did she govern Babylon. Every body regretted +the loss of me. The king, who till the moment of his resolving to poison +me and strangle thee had been a tolerably good kind of man, seemed now +to have drowned all his virtues in his immoderate fondness for this +capricious fair one. He came to the temple on the great day of the feast +held in honor of the sacred fire. I saw him implore the gods in behalf +of Missouf, at the feet of the statue in which I was inclosed. I raised +my voice; I cried out:</p> + +<p>"'The gods reject the prayers of a king who is now become a tyrant, and +who attempted to murder a reasonable wife, in order to marry a woman +remarkable for nothing but her folly and extravagance.'</p> + +<p>"At these words Moabdar was confounded and his head became disordered. +The oracle I had pronounced, and the tyranny of Missouf, conspired to +deprive him of his judgment, and in a few days his reason entirely +forsook him.</p> + +<p>"His madness, which seemed to be the judgment of heaven, was the signal +for a revolt. The people rose, and ran to arms; and Babylon, which had +been so long immersed in idleness and effeminacy, became the theatre of +a bloody civil war. I was taken from the heart of my statue and placed +at the head of a party. Cador flew to Memphis to bring thee back to +Babylon. The prince of Hircania, informed of these fatal events, +returned with his army and made a third party in Chaldea. He attacked +the king, who fled before him with his capricious Egyptian. Moabdar died +pierced with wounds. Missouf fell into the hands of the conqueror. I +myself had the misfortune to be taken by a party of Hircanians, who +conducted me to their prince's tent, at the very moment that Missouf was +brought before him. Thou wilt doubtless be pleased to hear that the +prince thought me more beautiful than the Egyptian; but thou wilt be +sorry to be informed that he designed me for his seraglio. He told me, +with a blunt and resolute air, that as soon as he had finished a +military expedition, which he was just going to undertake, he would come +to me. Judge how great must have been my grief. My ties with Moabdar +were already dissolved; I might have been the wife of Zadig; and I was +fallen into the hands of a barbarian. I answered him with all the pride +which my high rank and noble sentiment could inspire. I had always heard +it affirmed that heaven stamped on persons of my condition a mark of +grandeur, which, with a single word or glance, could reduce to the +lowliness of the most profound respect those rash and forward persons +who presume to deviate from the rules of politeness. I spoke like a +queen, but was treated like a maid-servant. The Hircanian, without even +deigning to speak to me, told his black eunuch that I was impertinent, +but that he thought me handsome. He ordered him to take care of me and +to put me under the regimen of favorites, that, so my complexion being +improved, I might be the more worthy of his favors when he should be at +leisure to honor me with them. I told him, that, rather than submit to +his desires, I would put an end to my life. He replied with a smile, +that women, he believed, were not so blood-thirsty, and that he was +accustomed to such violent expressions; and then left me with the air of +a man who had just put another parrot into his aviary. What a state for +the first queen in the universe, and, what is more, for a heart devoted +to Zadig!"</p> + +<p>At these words Zadig threw himself at her feet, and bathed them with his +tears. Astarte raised him with great tenderness, and thus continued her +story:</p> + +<p>"I now saw myself in the power of a barbarian, and rival to the foolish +woman with whom I was conned. She gave me an account of her adventures +in Egypt. From the description she gave of your person, from the time, +from the dromedary on which you were mounted, and from every other +circumstance, I inferred that Zadig was the man who had fought for her. +I doubted not but that you were at Memphis, and therefore resolved to +repair thither. 'Beautiful Missouf,' said I, 'thou art more handsome +than I, and will please the prince of Hircania much better. Assist me in +contriving the means of my escape. Thou wilt then reign alone. Thou wilt +at once make me happy and rid thyself of a rival.'</p> + +<p>"Missouf concerted with me the means of my flight; and I departed +secretly with a female slave. As I approached the frontiers of Arabia, a +famous robber, named Arbogad, seized me and sold me to some merchants +who brought me to this castle where ford Ogul resides. He bought me +without knowing who I was. He is a voluptuary, ambitious of nothing but +good living, and thinks that God sent him into the world for no other +purpose than to sit at table. He is so extremely corpulent, that he is +always in danger of suffocation. His physician, who has but little +credit with him when he has a good digestion, governs him with a +despotic sway when he has eaten too much. He has persuaded him that a +basilisk stewed in rose-water will effect a complete cure. The ford Ogul +hath promised his hand to the female slave that brings him a basilisk. +Thou seest that I leave them to vie with each other in meriting this +honor; and never was I less desirous of finding the basilisk than since +heaven hath restored thee to my sight."</p> + +<p>This account was succeeded by a long conversation between Astarte and +Zadig, consisting of every thing that their long suppressed sentiments, +their great sufferings, and their mutual love, could inspire into +hearts the most noble and tender, and the genii who preside over love +carried their words to the sphere of Venus.</p> + +<p>The women returned to Ogul without having found the basilisk. Zadig was +introduced to this mighty lord, and spoke to him in the following terms:</p> + +<p>"May immortal health descend from heaven to bless all thy days! I am a +physician. At the first report of thy indisposition I flew to thy +castle, and have now brought thee a basilisk stewed in rose-water. Not +that I pretend to marry thee. All I ask is the liberty of a Babylonian +slave, who hath been in thy possession for a few days; and, if I should +not be so happy as to cure thee, magnificent Lord Ogul, I consent to +remain a slave in her place."</p> + +<p>The proposal was accepted. Astarte set out for Babylon with Zadig's +servant, promising, immediately upon her arrival, to send a courier to +inform him of all that had happened. Their parting was as tender as +their meeting. The moment of meeting, and that of parting are the two +greatest epochs of life as sayeth the great book of Zend. Zadig loved +the queen with as much ardor as he professed; and the queen loved Zadig +more than she thought proper to acknowledge.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile Zadig spoke thus to Ogul:</p> + +<p>"My lord, my basilisk is not to be eaten; all its virtues must enter +through thy pores. I have inclosed it in a little ball, blown up and +covered with a fine skin. Thou must strike this ball with all thy might, +and I must strike it back for a considerable time; and by observing this +regimen for a few days, thou wilt see the effects of my art."</p> + +<p>The first day Ogul was out of breath, and thought he should have died +with fatigue. The second, he was less fatigued, and slept better. In +eight days he recovered all the strength, all the health, all the +agility and cheerfulness of his most agreeable years.</p> + +<p>"Thou hast played at ball, and hast been temperate," said Zadig. "Know +that there is no such thing in nature as a basilisk; that temperance and +exercise are the two great preservatives of health; and that the art of +reconciling intemperance and health is as chimerical as the +philosopher's stone, judicial astrology, or the theology of the magi."</p> + +<p>Ogul's first physician observing how dangerous this man might prove to +the medical art, formed a design, in conjunction with the apothecary, to +send Zadig to search for a basilisk in the other world. Thus, after +having suffered such a long train of calamities on account of his good +actions, he was now upon the point of losing his life for curing a +gluttonous lord. He was invited to an excellent dinner, and was to have +been poisoned in the second course; but, during the first, he happily +received a courier from the fair Astarte.</p> + +<p>"When one is beloved by a beautiful woman," says the great Zoroaster, +"he hath always the good fortune to extricate himself out of every kind +of difficulty and danger."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVIIz" id="XVIIz"></a>XVII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE COMBATS.</span></h4> + + +<p>The queen was received at Babylon with all those transports of joy which +are ever felt on the return of a beautiful princess who hath been +involved in calamities. Babylon was now in greater tranquillity. The +prince of Hircania had been killed in battle. The victorious Babylonians +declared that the queen should marry the man whom they should choose for +their sovereign. They were resolved that the first place in the world, +that of being husband to Astarte and king of Babylon, should not depend +on cabals and intrigues. They swore to acknowledge for king the man who, +upon trial, should be found to be possessed of the greatest valor and +the greatest wisdom. Accordingly, at the distance of a few leagues from +the city, a spacious place was marked out for the list, surrounded with +magnificent amphitheatres. Thither the combatants were to repair in +complete armor. Each of them had a separate apartment behind the +amphitheatres, where they were neither to be seen nor known by any one. +Each was to encounter four knights; and those that were so happy as to +conquer four, were then to engage with one another: so that he who +remained the last master of the field, would be proclaimed conqueror at +the games. Four days after he was to return to the same place, and to +explain the enigmas proposed by the magi. If he did not explain the +enigmas, he was not king; and the running at the lances was to begin +afresh, till a man should be found who was conqueror in both these +combats; for they were absolutely determined to have a king possessed of +the greatest wisdom and the most invincible courage. The queen was all +the while to be strictly guarded. She was only allowed to be present at +the games, and even there she was to be covered with a veil; but was not +allowed to speak to any of the competitors, that so they might neither +receive favor, nor suffer injustice.</p> + +<p>These particulars Astarte communicated to her lover, hoping that, in +order to obtain her, he would show himself possessed of greater courage +and wisdom than any other person.</p> + +<p>Zadig set out on his journey, beseeching Venus to fortify his courage +and enlighten his understanding. He arrived on the banks of the +Euphrates on the eve of this great day. He caused his device to be +inscribed among those of the combatants, concealing his face and his +name, as the law ordained; and then went to repose himself in the +apartment that fell to him by lot. His friend, Cador, who after the +fruitless search he had made for him in Egypt, had now returned to +Babylon, sent to his tent a complete suit of armor, which was a present +from the queen; as also from himself, one of the finest horses in +Persia. Zadig presently perceived that these presents were sent by +Astarte; and from thence his courage derived fresh strength, and his +love the most animating hopes.</p> + +<p>Next day, the queen being seated under a canopy of jewels, and the +amphitheatres filled with all the gentlemen and ladies of rank in +Babylon, the combatants appeared in the circus. Each of them came and +laid his device at the feet of the grand magi. They drew their devices +by lot; and that of Zadig was the last. The first who advanced was a +certain lord, named Itobad, very rich and very vain, but possessed of +little courage, of less address, and scarcely of any judgment at all. +His servants had persuaded him that such a man as he ought to be king. +He had said in reply, "Such a man as I ought to reign;" and thus they +had armed him cap-a-pie. He wore an armor of gold enameled with green, a +plume of green feathers, and a lance adorned with green ribbons. It +was instantly perceived by the manner in which Itobad managed his horse, +that it was not for such a man as him that heaven reserved the sceptre +of Babylon. The first knight that ran against him threw him out of his +saddle: the second laid him flat on his horse's buttocks, with his legs +in the air, and his arms extended. Itobad recovered himself, but with so +bad a grace, that the whole amphitheatre burst out a laughing. The third +knight disdained to make use of his lance; but, making a pass at him, +took him by the right leg, and wheeling him half round, laid him +prostrate on the sand. The squires of the games ran to him laughing, and +replaced him in his saddle. The fourth combatant took him by the left +leg, and tumbled him down on the other side. He was conducted back with +scornful shouts to his tent, where, according to the law, he was to pass +the night; and as he limped along with great difficulty, he said: "What +an adventure for such a man as I!"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 607px;"> +<a name="The_combats" id="The_combats"></a> +<img src="images/img_025_the_combats.jpg" width="607" alt="The combats." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The combats.</span> +</div> + +<p>The other knights acquitted themselves with greater ability and success. +Some of them conquered two combatants; a few of them vanquished three; +but none but prince of Otamus conquered four. At last Zadig fought in +his turn. He successively threw four knights off their saddles with all +the grace imaginable. It then remained to be seen who should be +conqueror, of Otamus or Zadig. The arms of the first were gold and blue, +with a plume of the same color; those of the last were white. The wishes +of all the spectators were divided between the knight in blue and the +knight in white. The queen, whose heart was in a violent palpitation, +offered prayers to heaven for the success of the white color.</p> + +<p>The two champions made their passes and vaults with so much agility, +they mutually gave and received such dexterous blows with their lances, +and sat so firmly in their saddles, that every body but the queen wished +there might be two kings in Babylon. At length, their horses being tired +and their lances broken, Zadig had recourse to this stratagem: He passed +behind the blue prince; springs upon the buttocks of his horse; seizes +him by the middle; throws him on the earth; places himself in the +saddle, and wheels around Otamus as he lay extended on the ground. All +the amphitheatre cried out, "Victory to the white knight!" Otamus rises +in a violent passion, and draws his sword; Zadig leaps from his horse +with his sabre in his hand. Both of them are now on the ground, engaged +in a new combat, where strength and agility triumph by turns. The plumes +of their helmets, the studs of their bracelets, and the rings of their +armor are driven to a great distance by the violence of a thousand +furious blows. They strike with the point and the edge; to the right, to +the left; on the head, on the breast; they retreat; they advance; they +measure swords; they close; they seize each other; they bend like +serpents; they attack like lions; and the fire every moment flashes from +their blows. At last Zadig, having recovered his spirits, stops; makes a +feint; leaps upon Otamus; throws him on the ground and disarms him; and +Otamus cries out:</p> + +<p>"It is thou alone, O white knight, that oughtest to reign over Babylon!"</p> + +<p>The queen was now at the height of her joy. The knight in blue armor, +and the knight in white, were conducted each to his own apartment, as +well as all the others, according to the intention of the law. Mutes +came to wait upon them, and to serve them at table. It may be easily +supposed that the queen's little mute waited upon Zadig. They were then +left to themselves to enjoy the sweets of repose till next morning, at +which time the conqueror was to bring his device to the grand magi, to +compare it with that which he had left, and make himself known.</p> + +<p>Zadig, though deeply in love, was so much fatigued that he could not +help sleeping. Itobad, who lay near him, never closed his eyes. He arose +in the night, entered his apartment, took the white arms and the device +of Zadig, and put his green armor in their place. At break of day, he +went boldly to the grand magi, to declare that so great a man as he was +conqueror. This was little expected; however, he was proclaimed while +Zadig was still asleep. Astarte, surprised and filled with despair, +returned to Babylon. The amphitheatre was almost empty when Zadig awoke; +he sought for his arms but could find none but the green armor. With +this he was obliged to cover himself, having nothing else near him. +Astonished and enraged, he put it on in a furious passion and advanced +in this equipage.</p> + +<p>The people that still remained in the amphitheatre and the circus +received him with hoofs and hisses. They surrounded him, and insulted +him to his face. Never did man suffer such cruel mortifications. He lost +his patience; with his sabre he dispersed such of the populace as dared +to affront him; but he knew not what course to take. He could not see +the queen; he could not claim the white armor she had sent him without +exposing her; and thus, while she was plunged in grief, he was filled +with fury and distraction. He walked on the banks of the Euphrates, +fully persuaded that his star had destined him to inevitable misery; and +revolving in his mind all his misfortunes, from the adventure of the +woman who hated one-eyed men, to that of his armor:</p> + +<p>"This," said he, "is the consequence of my having slept too long. Had I +slept less, I should now have been king of Babylon, and in possession of +Astarte. Knowledge, virtue, and courage, have hitherto served only to +make me miserable."</p> + +<p>He then let fall some secret murmurings against providence, and was +tempted to believe that the world was governed by a cruel destiny, which +oppressed the good, and prospered knights in green armor.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVIIIz" id="XVIIIz"></a>XVIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HERMIT.</span></h4> + + +<p>One of Zadig's greatest mortifications was his being obliged to wear +that green armor which had exposed him to such contumelious treatment. +A merchant happening to pass by, he sold it to him for a trifle, and +bought a gown and a long bonnet. In this garb he proceeded along the +banks of the Euphrates, filled with despair, and secretly accusing +providence, which thus continued to persecute him with unremitting +severity.</p> + +<p>While he was thus sauntering along, he met a hermit whose white and +venerable beard hung down to his girdle. He held a book in his hand, +which he read with great attention. Zadig stopped, and made him a +profound obeisance. The hermit returned the compliment with such a noble +and engaging air, that Zadig had the curiosity to enter into +conversation with him. He asked him what book it was that he had been +reading.</p> + +<p>"It is the book of destinies," said the hermit. "Wouldst thou choose to +look into it?"</p> + +<p>He put the book into the hands of Zadig, who, thoroughly versed as he +was in several languages, could not decipher a single character of it. +This only redoubled his curiosity.</p> + +<p>"Thou seemest," said the good father, "to be in great distress."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" replied Zadig, "I have but too much reason."</p> + +<p>"If thou wilt permit me to accompany thee," resumed the old man, +"perhaps I may be of some service to thee. I have often poured the balm +of consolation into the bleeding heart of the unhappy."</p> + +<p>Zadig felt himself inspired with respect for the dignity, the beard, and +the book of the hermit. He found, in the course of the conversation, +that he was possessed of superior degrees of knowledge. The hermit +talked of fate, of justice, of morals, of the chief good, of human +weakness, and of virtue and vice, with such a spirited and moving +eloquence, that Zadig felt himself drawn toward him by an irresistible +charm. He earnestly entreated the favor of his company till their return +to Babylon.</p> + +<p>"I ask the same favor of thee," said the old man. "Swear to me by +Oromazes that, whatever I do, thou wilt not leave me for some days."</p> + +<p>Zadig swore, and they set out together. In the evening the two travelers +arrived at a superb castle. The hermit entreated a hospitable reception +for himself and the young man who accompanied him. The porter, whom one +might have mistaken for a great lord, introduced them with a kind of +disdainful civility. He presented them to a principal domestic, who +showed them his master's magnificent apartments. They were admitted to +the lower end of the table, without being honored with the least mark of +regard by the lord of the castle; but they were served, like the rest, +with delicacy and profusion. They were then presented, in a golden basin +adorned with emeralds and rubies, with water to wash their hands. At +last they were conducted to bed in a beautiful apartment; and in the +morning a domestic brought each of them a piece of gold, after which +they took their leave and departed.</p> + +<p>"The master of the house," said Zadig, as they were proceeding on the +journey, "appears to be a generous man, though somewhat too proud. He +nobly performs the duties of hospitality."</p> + +<p>At that instant he observed that a kind of large pocket, which the +hermit had, was filled and distended; and upon looking more narrowly, he +found that it contained the golden basin adorned with precious stones, +which the hermit had stolen. He durst not then take any notice of it; +but he was filled with a strange surprise.</p> + +<p>About noon the hermit came to the door of a paltry house, inhabited by a +rich miser, and begged the favor of an hospitable reception for a few +hours. An old servant, in a tattered garb, received them with a blunt +and rude air, and led them into the stable, where he gave them some +rotten olives, sour wine, and mouldy bread. The hermit ate and drank +with as much seeming satisfaction as he had done the evening before, and +then addressing himself to the old servant who watched them both to +prevent them stealing anything, and had rudely pressed them to depart, +he gave him the two pieces of gold he had received in the morning, and +thanked him for his great civility.</p> + +<p>"Pray," added he, "allow me to speak to thy master."</p> + +<p>The servant, filled with astonishment, introduced the two travelers.</p> + +<p>"Magnificent lord!" said the hermit, "I cannot but return thee my most +humble thanks for the noble manner in which thou hast entertained us. Be +pleased to accept of this golden basin as a small mark of my gratitude."</p> + +<p>The miser started, and was ready to fall backwards; but the hermit, +without giving him time to recover from his surprise, instantly departed +with his young fellow traveler.</p> + +<p>"Father," said Zadig, "what is the meaning of all this? Thou seemest to +me to be entirely different from other men. Thou stealest a golden basin +adorned with precious stones, from a lord who received thee +magnificently, and givest it to a miser who treats thee with +indignity."</p> + +<p>"Son," replied the old man, "this magnificent lord, who receives +strangers only from vanity and ostentation, will hereby be rendered more +wise; and the miser will learn to practice the duties of hospitality. Be +surprised at nothing, but follow me."</p> + +<p>Zadig knew not as yet whether he was in company with the most foolish or +the most prudent of mankind' but the hermit spoke with such an +ascendency that Zadig, who was moreover bound by his oath, could not +refuse to follow him.</p> + +<p>In the evening they arrived at a house built with equal elegance and +simplicity, where nothing savored either of prodigality or avarice. The +master of it was a philosopher who had retired from the world, and who +cultivated in peace the study of virtue and wisdom, without any of that +rigid and morose severity so commonly found in men of his character. He +had chosen to build this fine house in which he received strangers with +a generosity free from ostentation. He went himself to meet the two +travelers, whom he led into a commodious apartment, and desired them to +repose themselves. Soon after he came and invited them to a decent and +well ordered repast, during which he spoke with great judgment of the +last revolutions in Babylon. He seemed to be strongly attached to the +queen, and wished that Zadig had appeared in the lists to contend for +the crown.</p> + +<p>"But the people," added he, "do not deserve to have such a king as +Zadig."</p> + +<p>Zadig blushed and felt his griefs redoubled. They agreed, in the course +of the conversation, that the things of this world did not always answer +the wishes of the wise. The hermit maintained that the ways of +providence were inscrutable; and that men were in the wrong to judge of +a whole, of which they understood but the smallest part. They talked of +the passions.</p> + +<p>"Ah," said Zadig, "how fatal are their effects!"</p> + +<p>"They are the winds," replied the hermit, "that swell the sails of the +ship; it is true, they sometimes sink her, but without them she could +not sail at all. The bile makes us sick and choleric but without the +bile we could not live. Everything in this world is dangerous, and yet +everything in it is necessary."</p> + +<p>The conversation turned on pleasure; and the hermit proved that it was a +present bestowed by the deity.</p> + +<p>"For," said he, "man cannot either give himself sensations or ideas: he +receives all; and pain and pleasure proceed from a foreign cause as well +as his being."</p> + +<p>Zadig was surprised to see a man who had been guilty of such extravagant +actions, capable of reasoning with so much judgment and propriety. At +last, after a conversation equally entertaining and instructive, the +host led back his two guests to their apartment, blessing heaven for +having sent him two men possessed of so much wisdom and virtue. He +offered them money with such an easy and noble air that it could not +possibly give any offence. The hermit refused it, and said that he must +now take his leave of him, as he proposed to set out for Babylon in the +morning before it was light. Their parting was tender. Zadig especially +felt himself filled with esteem and affection for a man of such an +amiable character.</p> + +<p>When he and the hermit were alone in their apartment they spent a long +time in praising their host. At break of day the old man awakened his +companion.</p> + +<p>"We must now depart," said he; "but while all the family are still +asleep, I will leave this man a mark of my esteem and affection."</p> + +<p>So saying he took a candle and set fire to the house. Zadig, struck with +horror, cried aloud, and endeavored to hinder him from committing such a +barbarous action; but the hermit drew him away by a superior force, and +the house was soon in flames. The hermit, who, with his companion, was +already at a considerable distance, looked back to the conflagration +with great tranquillity.</p> + +<p>"Thanks be to God," said he, "the house of my dear host is entirely +destroyed! Happy man!"</p> + +<p>At these words Zadig was at once tempted to burst out in laughing, to +reproach the reverend father, to beat him, and to run away. But he did +none of all these; for still subdued by the powerful ascendancy of the +hermit, he followed him, in spite of himself, to the next stage.</p> + +<p>This was at the house of a charitable and virtuous widow, who had a +nephew fourteen years of age, a handsome and promising youth, and her +only hope. She performed the honors of the house as well us she could. +Next day, she ordered her nephew to accompany the strangers to a bridge, +which being lately broken down, was become extremely dangerous in +passing. The young man walked before them with great alacrity. As they +were crossing the bridge, the hermit said to the youth:</p> + +<p>"Come, I must show my gratitude to thy aunt."</p> + +<p>He then took him by the hair, and plunged him into the river. The boy +sank, appeared again on the surface of the water, and was swallowed up +by the current.</p> + +<p>"O monster! O thou most wicked of mankind!" cried Zadig.</p> + +<p>"Thou promised to behave with greater patience," said the hermit, +interrupting him. "Know, that under the ruins of that house which +providence hath set on fire, the master hath found an immense treasure I +know, that this young man, whose life providence hath shortened, would +have assassinated his aunt in the space of a year, and thee in that of +two."</p> + +<p>"Who told thee so, barbarian?" cried Zadig, "and though thou hadst read +this event in thy book of destinies, art thou permitted to drown a youth +who never did thee any harm?"</p> + +<p>While the Babylonian was thus exclaiming, he observed that the old man +had no longer a beard, and that his countenance assumed the features and +complexion of youth. The hermit's habit disappeared, and four beautiful +wings covered a majestic body resplendent with light.</p> + +<p>"O sent of heaven! O divine angel!" cried Zadig, humbly prostrating +himself on the ground, "Hast thou then descended from the empyrean to +teach a weak mortal to submit to the eternal decrees of providence?"</p> + +<p>"Men," said the angel Jesrad, "judge of all without knowing any thing; +and, of all men, thou best deservest to be enlightened."</p> + +<p>Zadig begged to be permitted to speak:</p> + +<p>"I distrust myself," said he, "but may I presume to ask the favor of +thee to clear up one doubt that still remains in my mind. Would it not +have been better to have corrected this youth, and made him virtuous, +than to have drowned him?"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 480px;"> +<a name="The_hermit" id="The_hermit"></a> +<img src="images/img_026_the_hermit.jpg" width="480" alt="The hermit." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The hermit.</span> +</div> + +<blockquote><p class="block">The poem, called <i>The Hermit</i>, by Thomas Parnell, D.D., expresses +views in regard to providence similar to those of Voltaire. The +same thoughts may also be found in the <i>Divine Dialogues</i> of Henry +Moore. Indeed this "tale to prose-men known to verse-men fam'd," +has been used by many authors. Pope says "the story was written +originally in Spanish;" Goldsmith, in his <i>Life of Parnell</i>, +intimates that it was originally of Arabian invention, while, in +fact, it seems to bear internal evidence of Persian or Hindoo +origin.—E.</p></blockquote> + +<p>"Had he become virtuous," replied Jesrad, "and enjoyed a longer life, it +would have been his fate to have been assassinated himself, together +with the wife he would have married, and the child he would have had by +her."</p> + +<p>"But why," said Zadig, "is it necessary that there should be crimes and +misfortunes, and that these misfortunes should fall on the good?"</p> + +<p>"The wicked," replied Jesrad, "are always unhappy. They serve to prove +and try the small number of the just that are scattered through the +earth; and there is no evil that is not productive of some good."</p> + +<p>"But," said Zadig, "suppose there was nothing but good and no evil at +all."</p> + +<p>"Then," replied Jesrad, "this earth would be another earth: the chain of +events would be ranged in another order and directed by wisdom. But this +other order, which would be perfect, can exist only in the eternal abode +of the Supreme Being, to which no evil can approach. The Deity hath +created millions of worlds, among which there is not one that resembles +another. This immense variety is the effect of his immense power. There +are not two leaves among the trees of the earth, nor two globes in the +unlimited expanse of heaven, that are exactly similar; and all that thou +seest on the little atom in which thou art born, ought to be, in its +proper time and place, according to the immutable decrees of him who +comprehends all. Men think that this child, who hath just perished, is +fallen into the water by chance; and that it is by the same chance that +this house is burned. But there is no such thing as chance. All is +either a trial, or a punishment, or a reward, or a foresight. Remember +the fisherman, who thought himself the most wretched of mankind. +Oromazes sent thee to change his fate. Cease then, frail mortal, to +dispute against what thou oughtest to adore."</p> + +<p>"But," said Zadig—</p> + +<p>As he pronounced the word "But," the angel took his flight toward the +tenth sphere. Zadig on his knees adored providence, and submitted. The +angel cried to him from on high:</p> + +<p>"Direct thy course toward Babylon."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIXz" id="XIXz"></a>XIX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE ENIGMAS.</span></h4> + + +<p>Zadig, entranced as it were, and like a man about whose head the thunder +had burst, walked at random. He entered Babylon on the very day when +those who had fought at the tournaments were assembled in the grand +vestibule of the palace to explain the enigmas, and to answer the +questions of the grand magi. All the knights were already present, +except the knight in green armor. As soon as Zadig appeared in the city, +the people crowded around him; every eye was fixed on him, every mouth +blessed him, and every heart wished him the empire. The envious man saw +him pass; he frowned and turned aside. The people conducted him to the +place where the assembly was held. The queen, when informed of his +arrival, became a prey to the most violent agitations of hope and fear. +She was filled with anxiety and apprehension. She could not comprehend +why Zadig was without arms, nor why Itobad wore the white armor.</p> + +<p>When the knights who had fought were directed to appear in the assembly, +Zadig said. "I have fought as well as the other knights, but another +here wears my arms; and while I wait for the honor of proving the truth +of my assertion, I demand the liberty of presenting myself to explain +the enigmas."</p> + +<p>The question was put to vote, and his reputation for probity was so well +established, that they admitted him without scruple.</p> + +<p>The first question proposed by the grand magi, was: "What, of all things +in the world, is the longest and the shortest, the swiftest and the +slowest, the most divisible and the most extended, the most neglected +and the most regretted, without which nothing can be done, which devours +all that is little, and enlivens all that is great?"</p> + +<p>Itobad was to speak. He replied, that so great a man as he did not +understand enigmas; and that it was sufficient for him to have conquered +by his strength and valor. Some said that the meaning of the enigma was +fortune; some, the earth; and others, the light. Zadig said that it was +time.</p> + +<p>"Nothing," added he, "is longer, since it is the measure of eternity. +Nothing is shorter, since it is insufficient for the accomplishment of +our projects. Nothing more slow to him that expects, nothing more rapid +to him that enjoys. In greatness it extends to infinity, in smallness it +is infinitely divisible. All men neglect it, all regret the loss of it; +nothing can be done without it. It consigns to oblivion whatever is +unworthy of being transmitted to posterity, and it immortalizes such +actions as are truly great."</p> + +<p>The assembly acknowledged that Zadig was in the right.</p> + +<p>The next question was: "What is the thing which we receive without +thanks, which we enjoy without knowing how, and which we lose without +perceiving it?"</p> + +<p>Every one gave his own explanation. Zadig alone guessed that it was +life; and he explained all the other enigmas with the same facility. +Itobad always said that nothing was more easy, and that he could have +answered them with the same readiness, had he chosen to have given +himself the trouble. Questions were then proposed on justice, on the +sovereign good, and on the art of government. Zadig's answers were +judged to be the most solid, and the people exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"What a pity it is, that so great a genius should be so bad a knight!"</p> + +<p>"Illustrious lords," said Zadig, "I have had the honor of conquering in +the tournaments. It is to me that the white armor belongs. Lord Itobad +took possession of it during my sleep. He probably thought it would fit +him better than the green. I am now ready to prove in your presence, +with my gown and sword, against all that beautiful white armor which he +took from me, that it is I who have had the honor of conquering the +brave of Otamus."</p> + +<p>Itobad accepted the challenge with the greatest confidence. He never +doubted but that, armed as he was with a helmet, a cuirass, and +brassarts, he would obtain an easy victory over a champion in a cap and +a night-gown. Zadig drew his sword, saluting the queen, who looked at +him with a mixture of fear and joy. Itobad drew his, without saluting +any one. He rushed upon Zadig, like a man who had nothing to fear; he +was ready to cleave him in two. Zadig knew how to ward off his blows, by +opposing the strongest part of his sword to the weakest of that of his +adversary, in such a manner that Itobad's sword was broken. Upon which +Zadig, seizing his enemy by the waist, threw him on the ground; and +fixing the point of his sword at the extremity of his breast-plate, +exclaimed: "Suffer thyself to be disarmed, or thou art a dead man."</p> + +<p>Itobad greatly surprised at the disgrace that happened to such a man as +he, was obliged to yield to Zadig, who took from him with great +composure, his magnificent helmet, his superb cuirass, his fine +brassarts, his shining cuisses; clothed himself with them, and in this +dress ran to throw himself at the feet of Astarte. Cador easily proved +that the armor belonged to Zadig. He was acknowledged king by the +unanimous consent of the whole nation, and especially by that of +Astarte, who, after so many calamities, now tasted the exquisite +pleasure of seeing her lover worthy, in the eyes of the world, to be her +husband. Itobad went home to be called lord in his own house. Zadig was +king, and was happy. He recollected what the angel Jesrad had said to +him. He even remembered the grain of sand that became a diamond. He sent +in search of the robber Arbogad, to whom he gave an honorable post in +his army, promising to advance him to the first dignities, if he behaved +like a true warrior; and threatening to hang him, if he followed the +profession of a robber.</p> + +<p>Setoc, with the fair Almona, was called from the heart of Arabia, and +placed at the head of the commerce of Babylon. Cador was preferred and +distinguished according to his great services. He was the friend of the +king; and the king was then the only monarch on earth that had a friend. +The little mute was not forgotten. A fine house was given to the +fisherman; and Orcan was condemned to pay him a large sum of money, and +to restore him his wife; but the fisherman, who had now become wise, +took only the money.</p> + +<p>The beautiful Semira could not be comforted for having believed that +Zadig would be blind of an eye; nor did Azora cease to lament her +attempt to cut off his nose: their griefs, however, he softened by his +presents. The capricious beauty, Missouf, was left unnoticed. The +envious man died of rage and shame. The empire enjoyed peace, glory, and +plenty. This was the happiest age of the earth. It was governed by love +and justice. The people blessed Zadig, and Zadig blessed heaven.</p> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<hr style="width: 75%;" /> +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 480px;"> +<a name="freindson" id="freindson"></a> +<img src="images/img_027_freind_son.jpg" width="480" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_SAGE_AND_THE_ATHEIST" id="THE_SAGE_AND_THE_ATHEIST"></a>THE SAGE AND THE ATHEIST.</h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="INTRODUCTION_s" id="INTRODUCTION_s"></a><span class="maroon">INTRODUCTION.</span></h3> + + +<p>You request me, sir, to give you some account of our worthy friend, and +his singular son. The leisure that the retirement of Lord Peterborough +now affords me, places it in my power to oblige you. You will be as +astonished as I was, and perhaps adopt my opinion on the subject.</p> + +<p>You scarcely knew the young and unfortunate Johnny, Freind's only son, +whom his father took with him to Spain when he received the appointment +of chaplain to our armies, in 1705. You started for Aleppo, before my +lord besieged Barcelona; yet you were right when you said, John's +countenance was amiable and interesting, and that he gave proofs of +intelligence and courage. It was quite true. Every one who knew him, +loved him. At first he was intended for the church; but, as he +manifested much aversion for that profession, which, indeed, requires +great skill, management, and finesse, his prudent father considered it a +folly and a crime to oppose his inclination.</p> + +<p>John was not twenty years old when he assisted, as a volunteer, at the +attack on Mont-Joui, which was captured, and where the Prince of Hesse +lost his life. Our poor Johnny was wounded, taken prisoner, and carried +into the town. The following is an account of his adventures from the +attack of Mont-Joui till the taking of Barcelona. It is as told by a +Catalonian lady, a little too free and too simple. Such stories do not +find a way to the hearts of your wise men. I received it from her when I +entered Barcelona in the suite of Lord Peterborough. You must read it +without offence, as a true description of the manners of the country.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">ADVENTURES OF JOHNNY, A YOUNG ENGLISHMAN. WRITTEN BY DONNA LAS NALGAS.</span></h4> + + +<p>When we were informed that the same savages who came through the air to +seize on Gibraltar, were come to besiege our beautiful Barcelona, we +began to offer prayers at Notre Dame de Manreze—assuredly the best mode +of defence.</p> + +<p>These people, who come from so far, are called by a name very hard to +pronounce, that is, English. Our reverend father inquisitor, Don +Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, preached against these brigands. He +anathematized them in Notre Dame d'Elpino. He assured us that the +English had monkey-tails, bears' paws, and parrot-heads; that they +sometimes spoke like men, but invariably made a great hissing; that they +were moreover notorious heretics; that though the Blessed Virgin was +often indulgent to poor sinners, she never forgave heretics, and that +consequently they would all be infallibly exterminated, especially if +they presumed to appear before Mont-Joui. He had scarcely finished his +sermon when he heard that Mont-Joui was taken by storm.</p> + +<p>The same evening we learned that a young Englishman, who had been +wounded in the assault, was our prisoner. Throughout the town arose +cries of victory! victory! And the illuminations were very general.</p> + +<p>Donna Boca Vermeja, who had the honor to be the reverend inquisitor's +favorite, was very desirous to see what the English animal and heretic +was like. She was my intimate friend. I shared her curiosity. We were +oblished to wait till his wound was cured; and this did not take very +long.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 510px;"> +<a name="Don_Jeronimo_Bueno_Caracucarador" id="Don_Jeronimo_Bueno_Caracucarador"></a> +<img src="images/img_028_don_jeronimo.jpg" width="510" alt="Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador.</span> +</div> + +<p>Soon after, we learned that he was in the habit of visiting daily at the +residence of Elbob, my cousin german, who, as every one knows, is the +best surgeon in the town. My friend Boca Vermeja's impatience to see +this singular monster increased two-fold. We had no rest ourselves, and +gave none to our cousin, the surgeon, till he allowed us to conceal +ourselves in a small closet, which we entered on tiptoe without saying a +word and scarcely venturing to breathe, just as the Englishman arrived. +His face was not turned toward us. He took off a small cap which +enclosed his light hair, which then fell in thick curls down the finest +neck I ever beheld. His form presented a plumpness, a finish, an +elegance, approaching, in my opinion, the Apollo Belvidere at Rome—a +copy of which my uncle the sculptor possesses.</p> + +<p>Donna Boca Vermeja was transported with surprise, and delighted. I +shared her ecstacy, and could not forbear exclaiming: "O che hermoso +Muchacho!"</p> + +<p>These words made the young man turn round. We then saw the face of an +Adonis on the body of a young Hercules. Donna Boca Vermeja nearly fell +backwards at the sight:</p> + +<p>"St. James!" she exclaimed, "Holy Virgin! is it possible heretics are +such fine men? How we have been deceived about them."</p> + +<p>Donna Boca was soon violently in love with the heretical monster. She is +handsomer than I am, I must confess; and I must also confess that I +became doubly jealous of her on that account. I took care to show her +that to forsake the reverend father inquisitor, Don Jeronimo Bueno +Caracucarador, for an Englishman, would be a crime falling nothing short +of damnation.</p> + +<p>"Ah! my dear Las Nalgas," she said, (Las Nalgas is my name) "I would +forsake Melchizedek himself for so fine a young man."</p> + +<p>One of the inquisitors who attended four masses daily, to obtain from +Our Lady of Manreze the destruction of the English, heard of our +admiration. The Reverend Father Don Caracucarador whipped us both, and +had our dear Englishman arrested by twenty-four Alguazils of St. +Hermandad. Johnny killed four; and was at length captured by the +remaining twenty. He was confined in a very damp cellar, and sentenced +to be burnt the following Sunday, in full ceremony, clothed in a +San-bénito, wearing a sugar-loaf cap, in honor of our Savior and the +Virgin Mary, his mother. Don Caracucarador prepared a fine sermon, but +had no occasion for it, as the town was taken at four o'clock on the +Sunday morning.</p> + +<p>Here Donna Las Nalgas's tale terminates. This lady was not without a +description of wit, which in Spain we call agudéza.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">CONTINUATION OF THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN, THE YOUNG ENGLISHMAN; ALSO THOSE +OF HIS WORTHY FATHER, D.D., M.P., AND F.R.S.</span></h4> + + +<p>You know the skillful conduct of the Earl of Peterborough after he took +Barcelona, how successfully he prevented pillage, restored order, and +rescued the Duchess of Popoli from the hands of some drunken Germans, +who robbed and abused her. Conceive the surprise, grief, rage, and +tears, of our friend Freind, on learning that John was confined in the +dungeons of the holy inquisition, and condemned to the stake. You know +that cold temperaments are frequently most energetic when great events +call them into action. You should have seen this distracted father, whom +you were accustomed to think imperturbable, fly to the dungeon of his +son more rapidly than the horses at Newmarket hasten to the goal. The +fifty soldiers who went with him were soon out of breath, and always a +hundred paces behind. At length he reached the cell and entered it. What +a scene! what tears! what joy! Twenty victims, devoted to the same +ceremony, are delivered. All the prisoners take arms and fight with our +soldiers. The buildings of the holy office are destroyed in ten minutes, +and they breakfasted beside the ruins, on the wine and ham of the +inquisitors.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 280px;"> +<a name="Condemned_by_the_Inquisition" id="Condemned_by_the_Inquisition"></a> +<img src="images/img_029_inquisition.jpg" width="280" alt="Condemned by the Inquisition" title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Condemned by the Inquisition.—He was confined to a very +damp cellar, and sentenced to be burnt the following Sunday, in full +ceremony, clothed in a San-bénito, wearing a sugar-loaf cap, in honor of +our Savior and the Virgin Mary, his mother.</span> +</div> + +<p>In the midst of the roar of cannon, the sound of trumpets and drums, +announcing our victory to Catalonia, our friend Freind recovered his +accustomed tranquillity of manner. He was as calm as the sky after a day +of storm. He was raising to God a heart as serene as his countenance, +when he perceived a black spectral figure, clad in a surplice, issue +from a vault, and fall at his feet, crying for mercy.</p> + +<p>"Who are you?" said our friend. "Do you come from Hades?"</p> + +<p>"Almost," rejoined the other. "I am Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracucarador, +inquisitor. I solicit most humbly your forgiveness for wishing to roast +your son in public. I took him for a Jew."</p> + +<p>"Supposing that to be the case," said our friend with his customary sang +froid, "does it become you, Señor Caracucarador, to roast people alive +because they are descended from a sect that formerly inhabited a rocky +canton near the Syrian desert? What does it matter to you whether a man +is circumcised or not? that he observe Easter at the full of the moon, +or on the following Sunday? It is very bad reasoning to say, 'That man +is a Jew; therefore I must have him burnt, and take his property.' The +Royal Society of London do not reason in that way.</p> + +<p>"Do you know, Señor Caracucarador, that Jesus Christ was a Jew—that he +was born, lived, and died a Jew? that he observed the passover like a +Jew, at the full of the moon? that all his apostles were Jews? that they +went to the temple after his death, as we are expressly told? that the +first fifteen secret bishops of Jerusalem were Jews? But my son is no +Jew; he belongs to the established church. How came it into your head to +burn him alive?"</p> + +<p>The inquisitor, overawed by the learning of Monsieur Freind, and still +prostrate at his feet, replied:</p> + +<p>"Alas! sir, we know nothing about this at the University of Salamanca. +Forgive me, once more. The true reason is, your son took from me my +favorite, Donna Boca Vermeja."</p> + +<p>"Ah! if he took your favorite, that's another thing. We should never +take 'our neighbor's goods.' That is not, however, a sufficient reason +for burning a young man to death. As Leibnitz says, 'The punishment +should be in proportion to the crime.' You Christians on the other side +of the British Channel, especially toward the South, make no more of +roasting each other, be it the Counsellor Dubourg, M. Servetus, or those +who were burned in the reign of Philippe II., surnamed El Discreto, than +we do of roasting a joint of beef in London. But bring Miss Boca Vermeja +before me, that I may learn the truth from her own mouth."</p> + +<p>Boca Vermeja appeared weeping, looking the handsomer for her tears, as +women generally do.</p> + +<p>"Is it true, Miss, that you are devotedly attached to M. Caracucarador, +and that my son has abducted you?"</p> + +<p>"Abducted me? The English gentleman! I never met with any one so amiable +and good-looking as your son. You are very fortunate in being his +father. I could follow him to the world's end. I always hated that ugly +inquisitor, who whipped me and Mademoiselle Las Nalgas till he nearly +brought blood. If you wish to make me happy, you will cause the old +fellow to be hanged at my bedroom window."</p> + +<p>Just as Boca Vermeja was thus speaking, the Earl of Peterborough sent +for the inquisitor Caracucarador, to have him hanged. You will not be +surprised to hear that Mr. Freind firmly opposed this measure.</p> + +<p>"Let your just displeasure," said he, "give way to generous feelings. A +man should never be put to death but when it is absolutely necessary for +the safety of others. The Spaniards say the English are barbarians, who +kill all the priests that come in their way. This might have injured the +cause of the arch-duke, for whom you have taken Barcelona. I have +sufficient satisfaction in rescuing my son, and putting it out of the +power of this rascally monk to exercise his inquisitorial functions."</p> + +<p>In a word, the wise and charitable Freind was contented with getting +Caracucarador flogged, as he had whipped Miss Boca Vermeja and Miss Las +Nalgas.</p> + +<p>Such clemency affected the Catalonians. The persons rescued from the +inquisition felt that our religion was better than theirs. Nearly all +requested to be admitted members of the established church; even some +bachelors of the University of Salamanca, who chanced to be at +Barcelona, requested instruction. The greater part soon became +enlightened, with the exception of a certain Don Inigo-y-Medroso, +y-Comodios, y-Papalamiendos, who obstinately adhered to his opinions.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">SUMMARY OF THE CONTROVERSY OF THE "BUTS," BETWEEN MR. FREIND AND DON +INIGO-Y-MEDROSO, Y-COMODIOS, Y-PAPALAMIENDOS, BACHELOR OF SALAMANCA.</span></h4> + + +<p>The following is a summary of the pleasant disputation, which our dear +friend Freind and the Bachelor Don Papalamiendos held, in the presence +of the Earl of Peterborough. This familiar conversation was called the +dialogue of the "Buts." As you read it you will discover why.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, sir, notwithstanding all the fine things you have +said, you must admit that your respectable established church did not +exist before the time of Don Luther and Don Ecolampade; consequently, it +is quite new, and can hardly be said to belong to the family.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—You might as well say I am not a descendant of my grandfather, +because another branch of the family, living in Italy, seized on his +will, and my claims. I have fortunately found them again; and it is now +quite clear that I am my grandfather's grandson. You and I are, as it +were, of the same family; but with this difference. We read our +grandfather's testament in our mother tongue, while you are forbidden to +read it in yours. You are the slaves of a foreigner; we listen to the +dictates of reason.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But suppose your reason should lead you astray? For, in a +word, you have no faith in our University of Salamanca, which has +declared the infallibility of the pope, and his indisputable control of +the past, the present, the future, and the paulo-post-future.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Neither did the apostles. It is written that Peter, who denied +his master Jesus, was severely rebuked by Paul. I have not examined the +case to see which was in the wrong; perhaps, as is the case in most +disputes, neither was right; but I do not find one passage in the Acts +of the Apostles to prove that Peter was considered the master of his +companions, and of the paulo-post-future.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But St. Peter was certainly archbishop of Rome; for +Sanchez tells us that this great man came there in the reign of Nero, +and filled the archbishop's throne twenty-five years under the same +Nero, who only reigned thirteen. Besides, it is a matter of faith, and +Don Gullandus, the prototype of the inquisition, affirms it (for we +never read the Holy Bible), that St. Peter was at Rome during a certain +year, for he dates one of his letters from Babylon. Now, since Babylon +is visibly the anagram of Rome, it is clear that the pope by divine +right is lord of the world; moreover, all the licentiates of Salamanca +have shown that Simon Grace-of-God, first sorcerer and counsellor of +state at the court of Nero, sent his compliments by his dog to Simon +Barjona, otherwise called St. Peter, as soon as he came to Rome; that +St. Peter, who was scarcely less polite, sent also his dog to compliment +Simon Grace-of-God; and then they diverted themselves by trying which +could soonest raise from the dead a cousin german of Nero's; that +Grace-of-God only succeeded in effecting a partial restoration, while +Barjona won the game by wholly restoring the dead man to life; that +Grace-of-God sought to have his revenge by flying through the air like +Saint Dædalus; and that Barjona broke his legs, by making him fall. On +this account St. Peter received the Martyr's crown, being crucified with +his heels upward. Therefore we have proved that his holiness the pope +ought to reign over all who wear crowns; that he is lord of the past, +the present, and of all the futures in the world.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—It is clear these things happened in the days when Hercules +separated at a stroke the two mountains Calpe and Abyla, and crossed the +straits of Gibraltar in his goblet. But it is not on such histories, +however authentic they may be, that we base our religion. We found it on +the gospel.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, sir, on what passages of the gospel? I have read a +portion of the gospel in our theological tracts. Do you base it on the +descent of the angel to announce to the Virgin Mary that she had +conceived by the Holy Ghost? On the journey of the three kings after the +star? On the massacre of all the children of the country? On the trouble +the devil took to carry God into the wilderness, to place him on a +pinnacle of the temple, and on the summit of a mountain from whence he +beheld all the kingdoms of the world? On the miracle of water changed +into wine at a village wedding? On the miracle of two thousand pigs +drowned by the devil in a lake at the command of Jesus? On—?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Sir, we respect these things because they are in the gospel; +but we never speak of them, because they are too far above our weak +human reason.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But they say you never call the Holy Virgin, Mother of +God?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—We revere and cherish her. But we think she cares very little +for the titles given her in this world. She is never styled the Mother +of God in the gospel. In the year 431, there was a great dispute at the +council of Ephesus to ascertain if Mary was Theotocos; and if Jesus +Christ, being at the same time God and the son of Mary, Mary could be at +the same time mother of God the Father and God the Son. We do not enter +into these disputes of Ephesus. The Royal Society at London does not +concern itself with such controversies.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, sir, you talk of Theotocos. What may Theotocos mean, +if you please?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—It means Mother of God. What, are you a Bachelor of Salamanca, +and don't understand Greek?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But Greek! Of what use can Greek be to a Spaniard? But, +sir, do you believe that Jesus Christ has one nature, one person, and +one will; or two natures, two persons, and two wills; or, one will, one +nature, and two persons; or, two wills, two persons and one nature; +or,—?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—This, also, belongs to the Ephesian controversy and does not +concern us.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But what does concern you, then? Do you suppose there are +only three persons in God, or that there are three Gods in one person? +Does the second person proceed from the first person, and the third from +the two others, or from the second <i>intrinsecus</i>, or only from the +first? Has the father all the attributes of the son except paternity? +And does the third person proceed by infusion, by identification, or by +spiration?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—This question is not mooted in the gospel. St. Paul never wrote +the name of the Trinity.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, you always refer to the gospel, and never make +mention of St. Bonaventura, of Albert the Great, of Tambourini, of +Gullandus, of Escobar.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Because I do not call myself a Dominican, a Franciscan, or a +Jesuit. I am satisfied with being a Christian.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But if you are a Christian, tell me if you +conscientiously think the rest of mankind will be damned?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—It does not become me to limit the compassion or the justice of +God.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But to come to the point, if you are a Christian, what do +you believe?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—I believe with Jesus Christ that we ought to love God and our +neighbor, forgive our enemies, and do good for evil. These are the +maxims of Jesus. So true are they, that no legislator, no philosopher, +ever had other principles before him, and it is impossible that there +can be any other. These truths never have and never can meet with +contradiction, save from our passions.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, in regard to the passions, is it true that your +bishops, priests, and deacons are all married?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Quite true. St. Joseph, who passed for the father of Jesus, was +married. James the Less, surnamed Oblia, brother of our Lord, was his +son, who, after the death of Jesus, spent his life in the temple. St. +Paul—the great St. Paul—was a married man.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But Grillandus and Molina assert the contrary.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Let them say what they please, I prefer believing St. Paul +himself on the subject. In <i>I. Corinthians, ix: 4-7.</i> he says: "Have we +not power to eat and to drink? Have we not power to lead about a sister, +a wife, as well as other apostles, and as the brethren of the lord, and +Cephas. Or I only and Barnabas, have we not power to forbear working? +Who goeth a warfare at any time at his own charges? Who planteth a +vineyard and eateth not of the fruit thereof?"</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, sir, did St. Paul really say that?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Yes, he said that and very much more.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, really, that prodigy of the efficacy of grace?—</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—It is true, sir, that his conversion was a great miracle. I +admit, from the <i>Acts of the Apostles</i>, that he was the most cruel +satellite of the enemies of Jesus. The <i>Acts</i> say that he assisted at +the stoning of Stephen. He admits himself, that when the Jews condemned +to death a follower of Christ, he would see to the execution of the +sentence, "detuli sententiam", I admit that Abdia, his disciple, and the +translator Julius, the African, accused him of putting to death James +Oblia, the brother of our Lord; but his persecutions increase the wonder +of his conversion, and by no means prevented his having a wife. I assure +you he was married. St. Clement of Alexandria expressly declares it.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But St. Paul, then, was a worthy man of God! Really, I am +grieved to think he assassinated St. Stephen, and St. James, and am +surprised to find he traveled to the third heaven. But pray continue.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—We gather from St. Clement of Alexandria that St. Peter had +children; one St. Petronilla is mentioned among them. Eusebius, in his +<i>History of the Church</i> says that St. Nicolas, one of the first +disciples, had a very handsome wife; and that the disciples blamed him +for being over-fond and jealous. "Sirs," said he, "let any one take her +who likes; I give her to you."</p> + +<p>In the Jewish economy, which should have lasted for ever, but to which +nevertheless the Christian dispensation succeeded, marriage was not only +permitted, but expressly enjoined on priests, since they were always of +the same race. Celibacy was considered infamous.</p> + +<p>It is certain that celibacy could not have been considered a very pure +and honorable state by the first Christians, since we find among the +bishops excommunicated by the first councils, chiefly those who oppose +the marriage of priests; such as Saturnians, Basilidians, Montanists, +Encrasists, and other ans and ists. This accounts for the wife of +Gregory of Nazianze bearing another Gregory of Nazianze, and enjoying +the inestimable felicity of being at one and the same time the wife and +mother of a canonized saint,—a privilege which even St. Monica, the +mother of St. Augustin, did not enjoy.</p> + +<p>By the same reason I might name as many and even more of the ancient +bishops who were married, and account for your not having had in the +earlier ages of the church bishops and popes who indulged in +fornication, adultery, and even worse crimes. Things are not so now. +This is also the reason why the Greek church, the mother of the Latin +church, allows priests to marry. In a word, the reason why I myself am +married, and have a son, as fine a fellow as you can wish to see.</p> + +<p>Besides, my dear bachelor, have you not in your church seven sacraments +which are outward signs of things invisible? Does not a bachelor of +Salamanca enjoy the advantage of baptism as soon as he comes into the +world; of confirmation as soon as he has committed a few follies or +understands those of others; of communion, though a little different +from ours, when he is fourteen years of age; of holy orders, when they +shave the crown of his head and give him a living of twenty, thirty, or +forty thousand piastres; and lastly of extreme unction, when he is ill? +Must he then be deprived of the sacrament of marriage, when he is in +health? Especially when God united Adam and Eve in marriage: Adam, the +first bachelor in the world, since, according to your schools, he had +knowledge by infusion; Eve, the first <i>female</i> bachelor, since she +tasted the tree of knowledge before her husband.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE BACHELOR</span>.—But, if things are so, I may cease my "Buts." This is +certain, I adopt your religion; I will belong to the established church +of England; will marry an honest woman, who at least will pretend to +love me while I am young, take care of me when I grow old, and whom I +will bury decently, should I survive her. I think this is better than +roasting men and enticing girls after the fashion of my cousin Don +Caracucarador, the inquisitor of the faith.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>This is a faithful summary of the conversation between Mr. Freind and +the Bachelor Don Papalamiendos, since called by us Papa Dexando. This +curious dialogue was drawn up by Jacob Hull, one of my lord's +secretaries.</p> + +<p>After this conversation the Bachelor took me aside and said:</p> + +<p>"This Englishman, whom I took at first for an anthropagus, must be a +very good man; for he is a theologian and can keep his temper."</p> + +<p>I informed him that Mr. Freind was tolerant, or a quaker, and a +descendant of the daughter of William Penn, who founded Philadelphia. +"Quaker, Philadelphia," he cried, "I never heard of those sects."</p> + +<p>I gave him some information on the subject. He could scarcely believe +me. It seemed to him like another universe. And, indeed, he was in the +right.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">JOHN RETURNS TO LONDON, AND IS LED INTO BAD COMPANY.</span></h4> + + +<p>While our worthy philosopher Freind was enlightening the priests of +Barcelona, and his son John delighting the ladies, Lord Peterborough +lost all favor with the queen and arch-duke for seizing Barcelona for +them. The courtiers censured him for taking the city contrary to all +rule, with an army less strong by half than the garrison. At first the +arch-duke was highly incensed; and our friend was obliged to print an +apology for the general. Yet this arch-duke, who had come to conquer +Spain, had not the worth of his chocolate. All Queen Anne had given him +was squandered.</p> + +<p>Montecuculi, in his <i>Memoirs</i>, says three things are necessary to +maintain a war; 1st, money, 2nd, money, and 3rd, money. The arch-duke +wrote from Guadalaxara, where he was on the 11th of August, 1706, to +Lord Peterborough, a long letter signed "Yo el Rey," in which he begged +him to hasten to Genoa and raise on credit £100,000. So our Sartorius, +from general of an army, thus became a Genoese banker. He communicated +his distress to our friend Freind. They started for Genoa. I went with +them, for you know my heart leads me thither. I admired the skill and +spirit of conciliation my friend displayed in this delicate business. I +saw at once that intelligence may meet every exigency. Our great Locke +was a physician; he became the first metaphysician in Europe, and +restored the value of the British coinage. In three days Freind raised +the £100,000; but the court of Charles the VI. contrived to squander it +in three weeks. After this, the general, accompanied by his theologian, +was obliged to repair to London to justify himself before the parliament +for conquering Catalonia against all rule, and for ruining himself in +the common cause. The affair was protracted and vexatious, as are all +party disputes.</p> + +<p>You know that Mr. Freind was a member of parliament before he became a +priest; and he is the only person who has been allowed to combine +functions so opposed. One day, when Freind was thinking over a speech he +intended to deliver in the house (of which he was a most respectable +member), a Spanish lady was announced as desirous of seeing him on +particular business. It was Donna Boca Vermeja herself, and in tears. +Our good friend ordered a luncheon. She took some refreshment, dried her +eyes, and thus began:</p> + +<p>"You will remember, sir, when you went to Genoa, you ordered your son +John to leave Barcelona for London, and to commence his duties as a +clerk in the exchequer, a post which your influence had obtained for +him. He embarked in the Triton with a young bachelor of arts, Don Papa +Dexando, and others whom you had converted. You may well suppose that I, +with my dear friend Las Nalgas, accompanied them."</p> + +<p>Boca Vermeja then told him, again shedding tears, how John was jealous, +or affected to be jealous, of the bachelor,—how a certain Madame +Clive-Hart, a very bold, spiteful, masculine, young married lady, had +enslaved his mind,—how he lived with libertines who had no fear of +God,—how, in a word, he neglected Boca Vermeja for the artful +Clive-Hart; and all because Clive-Hart had a little more red and white +in her complexion than poor Boca Vermeja.</p> + +<p>"I will look into the matter at leisure," said the worthy Mr. Freind. "I +must now attend parliament, to look after Lord Peterborough's business."</p> + +<p>Accordingly, to parliament he went; where I heard him deliver a firm and +concise discourse, free from commonplace epithets, and circumlocutions. +He never <i>invoked</i> a law or a testimony. He quoted, enforced, and +applied them. He did not say they had taken the religion of the court by +surprise, by accusing lord Peterborough of exposing Queen Anne's troops +to risk; because it had nothing to do with religion. He did not call a +conjecture a demonstration, nor forget his respect to an august +parliament, by using common jokes. He did not call Lord Peterborough his +client, because client signifies a plebian protected by a senator. +Freind spoke with confidence and modesty; he was listened to in silence, +only disturbed by cries of "Hear him, hear him."</p> + +<p>The House of Commons passed a vote of thanks to Earl Peterborough, +instead of condemning him. His lordship obtained the same justice from +the House of Peers, and prepared to set out with his dear Freind to +deliver the kingdom of Spain to the arch-duke. This did not take place, +solely because things do not always turn out as we wish them to.</p> + +<p>On leaving the house, our first care was to enquire after the health of +John. We learnt that he was leading a dissipated and debauched life with +Mrs. Clive-Hart, and a party of young men,—intelligent,—but atheists, +who believed:</p> + +<p>"That man is in no respect superior to the brutes;—that he lives and +dies as they do;—that both spring from and both return to the +earth;—that wisdom and virtue consist in enjoyment and in living with +those we love, as Solomon says at the end of the 'Coheleth,' which we +call 'Ecclesiastes.'"</p> + +<p>These sentiments were chiefly advanced among them by one Warburton,<a name="FNanchor_1_19" id="FNanchor_1_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_19" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> a +very forward licentious fellow. I have glanced at some of the poor +author's MSS., which heaven grant may not one day be printed. Warburton +pretends that Moses did not believe in the immortality of the soul, +because he never speaks of it, and considers that to be the only proof +of his divine mission. This absurd conclusion leads to the supposition +that the religion of the Jews is false. Infidels thence argue that ours, +being founded thereon, is false also; and <i>ours</i>, which is the best of +all, being false, all others are, if possible, still more false: +therefore there is no religion. Hence some conclude that there is no +God. Let us add to these conclusions, that this little Warburton is an +intriguing, slandering fellow. See what peril!</p> + +<p>But worse than all, John was head over ears in debt, and had a strange +way of paying. One of his creditors came to him with a claim for a +hundred guineas, while we were in the house. John, who always appeared +polite and gentle, fought his creditor, and paid him with a sword-wound. +It was apprehended the wounded man would die; and John, notwithstanding +lord Peterborough's protection, ran the risk of imprisonment and +hanging.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_19" id="Footnote_1_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_19"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> In 1737 Bishop Warburton published his famous work, <i>The +Divine Legation of Moses</i>, in which he asserted, "that the doctrine of a +future state of reward and punishment was omitted in the books of +Moses," and then proceeded to demonstrate "from that very omission, that +a system which could dispense with a doctrine, the very bond and cement +of human society, must have come from God, and that the people to whom +it was given must have been placed under His immediate superintendence." +In other words, the divine origin of the Mosaic "system" is +demonstrated, because Moses did not teach to the chosen people the +doctrine of a future life beyond the grave. Voltaire clearly saw the +fallacy of this fantastic argument, and has not failed to severely +satirize the right reverend author. +</p><p> +Robert Carruthers, Esq., in his <i>Life of Alexander Pope</i> styles Bishop +Warburton "a learned, turbulent, ambitious adventurer"—"an +indefatigable and unscrupulous divine," and says of <i>The Divine Legation +of Moses</i>, that it was "so learned, so novel, so paradoxical, so +arrogant and absurd, that it took the world as it were by storm, and +challenged universal attention." +</p><p> +Dr. Johnson says that Warburton's "diction is coarse and impure, and his +sentences are unmeasured;" and a writer in the seventh volume of the +<i>Quarterly Review</i> (as quoted by George Godfrey Cuningham, Esq., in his +<i>Lives of Eminent and illustrious Englishmen</i>) says: "the rudeness and +vulgarity of his manners as a controvertist, removed all restraints of +decency or decorum in scattering his jests about him. His taste seems to +have been neither just nor delicate." He combined "the powers of a giant +with the temper of a ruffian." +</p><p> +Gibbon, in his <i>History of Christianity</i>, pointedly alludes to the +author of <i>The Divine Legation of Moses</i>, and satirically styles the +omission of the doctrine of immortality from the law of Moses, as "a +mysterious dispensation of providence." "The real merit of Warburton," +he says, "was degraded by the pride and presumption with which he +pronounced his infallible decrees."—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THEY WANT TO GET JOHN MARRIED.</span></h4> + + +<p>You remember the anguish of the venerable Freind when he learned that +John was in the prison of the inquisition at Barcelona. Imagine his rage +when he learned of the debauchery and dissipation of the unfortunate +lad, his way of paying debts, and his danger of getting hanged! Yet +Freind restrained himself. This excellent man's self-command is really +astonishing. His reason regulates his heart, as a good master rules his +servants. He does every thing reasonably, and judges wisely with as much +celerity as hasty people act rashly.</p> + +<p>"This is no time to lecture John," said he. "We must snatch him from the +precipice."</p> + +<p>You must know that the day previously, our friend had come into a +handsome sum, left him by George Hubert, his uncle. He went himself in +search of our great surgeon, Cheselden. We found him at home, and then +proceeded together to the wounded creditor. The wound was inspected. It +was not dangerous. Freind gave the sufferer a hundred guineas as a first +step, and fifty others by way of reparation, and then asked forgiveness +for his son. Indeed, he expressed his regret so touchingly, that the +poor man embraced him, and, weeping, wished to return the money.</p> + +<p>This sight moved and surprised young Mr. Cheselden, whose reputation is +becoming very great, and whose heart is as kind as his hand is skillful.</p> + +<p>I was carried beyond myself; never had I admired and loved our friend so +much.</p> + +<p>On returning home, I asked him if he did not intend to send for his son, +and to admonish him.</p> + +<p>"No," said he. "Let him feel his faults before I speak of them. Let us +sup together to-night. We will see what in honesty I ought to do. +Examples correct better than reprimands."</p> + +<p>While waiting for supper, I called on John. I found him in the state +which all men experience after their first crime,—that is, pale, with +sunken eyes and hoarse voice,—absent, and answering at random when +spoken to.</p> + +<p>I told him what his father had just done.</p> + +<p>He looked at me steadily, then turned away to dash a tear from his eye. +I argued well from this, and began to hope that John would yet prove a +worthy man. I felt ready to clasp him in my arms, when Madame Clive-Hart +came in, accompanied by a wild fellow, called Birton.</p> + +<p>"Well," said the lady, laughing, "have you really killed a man to-day? +Some tiresome fellow. 'Tis well to rid the world of such people. When +you are next in the killing mood, pray think of my husband. He plagues +me to death."</p> + +<p>I surveyed this woman from head to foot. She was handsome, but there was +something sinister in her countenance. John dared not reply, and, +confused by my presence, looked downward.</p> + +<p>"What's the matter?" said Birton. "You look as if you had done something +wrong. I come to give you absolution. Here is a little book I have just +bought at Lintot's. It proves as clearly as two and two make four, that +there is neither God, nor vice, nor virtue,—a very consoling fact! So, +let us drink together."</p> + +<p>On hearing this singular discourse, I withdrew quickly, and represented +to Mr. Freind how much his son required his advice.</p> + +<p>"I see it as clearly as you do," said this kind father; "but let us +begin by paying his debts."</p> + +<p>They were all discharged the next day. John came and threw himself at +his father's feet. Will you believe it? The father made no reproaches. +He left him to conscience; only observing, "Remember, my son, there is +no happiness apart from virtue."</p> + +<p>Mr. Freind then saw that the bachelor married Boca Vermeja, who really +loved him, notwithstanding her tears for John. Women know how to confuse +such feelings wonderfully. One would almost say that their hearts are a +bundle of contradictions, perhaps because they were originally formed +from one of our ribs.</p> + +<p>Our generous Freind gave her also a dowry, and took care to secure +places for his converts. It is not enough to take care of people's +souls, if we neglect to provide for their present wants.</p> + +<p>After performing these good actions, with his astonishing <i>sang froid</i>, +he concluded he had nothing more to do to restore his son to virtue, +than to marry him to a young person of beauty, virtue, talents, and some +wealth. This, indeed, was the only way to wean him from the detestable +Clive-Hart, and others, whom he frequented.</p> + +<p>I had heard speak of a Miss Primerose, a young heiress, brought up by +her relative, Lady Hervey. The Earl of Peterborough introduced me to +Lady Hervey. I saw Miss Primerose, and considered her a proper person to +fulfill the wishes of my friend. John, in the midst of his dissipation, +had great reverence and even affection for his father. He was chiefly +affected that his father had never blamed him for his follies. Debts +paid without informing him; wise counsels seasonably given, and without +reprimand; proofs of friendship given from time to time, yet free from +the familiarity which might depreciate them. All this went to John's +heart, for he was both intelligent and sensitive.</p> + +<p>Lord Peterborough introduced the father and son to Lady Hervey. I +perceived that the extreme beauty of John soon made a favorable +impression on Miss Primerose; for I saw her look stealthily at him and +blush. John seemed only polite; and Primerose admitted to Lady Hervey +that she wished his politeness might become love.</p> + +<p>The young man soon discovered the worth of this charming girl, though he +was the complete slave of Clive-Hart. He was like the Indian invited to +gather celestial fruit, but restrained by the claws of a dragon.</p> + +<p>But here the recollection of what I witnessed overwhelms me. Tears +moisten my paper. When I recover, I will resume my tale.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">A TERRIBLE ADVENTURE.</span></h4> + + +<p>The marriage of John and the lovely Primerose was about to be +celebrated. Freind never felt more joy. I shared it. But the occasion +was changed into one of deep sorrow and suffering.</p> + +<p>Clive-Hart loved John, though constantly faithless. They say this is the +lot of those women who, violating modesty, renounce their honor. +Especially she deceived John for her dear Birton and for another of the +same school. They lived together in debauch; and, what is perhaps +peculiar to our nation, they had all of them sense and worth. +Unfortunately, they employed their sense against God. Madame +Clive-Hart's house was a rendezvous for atheists. Well for them had they +been such atheists as Epicurus, Leontium, Lucretius, Memmius, and +Spinoza,—the most upright man of Holland,—or Hobbes, so faithful to +his unfortunate king, Charles I.</p> + +<p>But however it may be, Clive-Hart, jealous of the pure and gentle +Primerose, could not endure the marriage. She devised a vengeance, which +I conceive to be unsurpassed even in London, where I believe our fathers +have witnessed crimes of every kind. She learned that Miss Primerose, +returning from shopping, would pass by her door. She took advantage of +the opportunity, and had a sewer opened, communicating with her +premises.</p> + +<p>Miss Primerose's carriage, on its return, was obliged to draw up at this +obstruction. Clive-Hart goes out, and entreats her to alight and take +some refreshment, while the passage is being cleared. This invitation +made Miss Primerose hesitate; but she perceived John standing in the +hall, and, yielding to an impulse stronger than her discretion, she got +out. John offered her his hand. She enters. Clive-Hart's husband was a +silly drunkard, as hateful to his wife as he was submissive and +troublesome by his civility. He presents refreshments to the young lady, +and drinks after her. Mrs. Clive-Hart takes them away instantly and +brings others. By this time the street is cleared. Miss Primerose enters +her carriage, and drives to her mother's.</p> + +<p>She soon falls sick, and complains of giddiness. They suppose it is +occasioned by the motion of the carriage. But the illness increased, and +the next day she was dying.</p> + +<p>Mr. Freind and I hastened to the house. We found the lovely creature +pale and livid, a prey to convulsions,—her lips open, her eyes glazed, +and always staring. Black spots disfigured her face and throat. Her +mother had fainted on her bed. Cheselden employed in vain all the +resources of his art. I will not attempt to describe Freind's anguish. +It was intense. I hurried to Clive-Hart's house, and found that the +husband was just dead, and that the wife had fled.</p> + +<p>I sought John. He could not be found. A servant told me that his +mistress had besought him not to leave her in her misfortune, and that +they had gone off together, accompanied by Birton, no one knew whither.</p> + +<p>Overcome by these rapid and numerous shocks, terrified at the frightful +suspicions which haunted me, I hastened to the dying lady.</p> + +<p>"Yet," said I to myself, "if this abominable woman threw herself on +John's generosity, it does not follow that he is an accomplice. John is +incapable of so horrible and cowardly a crime, which he had no interest +in committing, which deprives him of a charming wife, and renders him +odious to the human race. Weak, he has allowed himself to be drawn away +by a wretch, of whose crime he was ignorant. He did not see, as I have +done, Primerose dying; he never would have deserted her pillow to +accompany the poisoner of his bride. Oppressed by these thoughts, I +entered, shuddering, the room which I expected contained a corpse."</p> + +<p>She was still living. Old Clive-Hart died soon, because his constitution +was worn out by debauchery; but young Primerose was sustained by a +temperament as robust as her blood was pure. She saw me, and enquired, +in a tender tone, after John. A flood of tears gushed from my eyes. I +could not reply. I was unable to speak to the father. I was obliged to +leave her to the faithful hands that served her.</p> + +<p>We went to inform his lordship of this disaster. He is as kind to his +friends as terrible to his foes. Never was there a more compassionate +man with so stern a countenance. He took as much pains to assist the +dying lady, and to overtake the abandoned woman, and discover John, as +he had done to give Spain to the arch-duke. But all our search proved in +vain. I thought it would kill Freind. Now we flew to the residence of +Miss Primerose, whose dying was protracted, now to Rochester, Dover, +Portsmouth. Couriers were dispatched every where. We wandered about at +random, like dogs that have lost the scent;—while the unfortunate +mother expected hourly the death of her child.</p> + +<p>At length we learned that a handsome lady, accompanied by three young +men and some servants, had embarked at Newport, in Monmouthshire, in a +little smuggling vessel that was in the roads, and had sailed for North +America.</p> + +<p>Freind sighed deeply at this intelligence, then suddenly recovering +himself, and pressing my hand, he said:</p> + +<p>"I must go to America."</p> + +<p>I replied, weeping with admiration: "I will not leave you. But what can +you do?"</p> + +<p>"Restore my only son," said he, "to virtue and his country, or bury +myself with him."</p> + +<p>Indeed, from our information, we could not doubt but he had fled thither +with that horrible woman, Birton, and the other villains of the party.</p> + +<p>The good father took leave of Lord Peterborough, who returned soon after +to Catalonia; and we went to Bristol and freighted a ship for the +Delaware and the bay of Maryland.</p> + +<p>Freind, knowing these coasts to be in the heart of the English +possessions, thought it right to go thither, whether his son had sought +concealment in the North or South.</p> + +<p>He supplied himself with money, letters of credit, and provisions, and +left a confidential servant in London, to write to him by ships that +were leaving every week for Maryland or Pennsylvania.</p> + +<p>We started. The crew, judging from the placid countenance of my friend, +thought we were on an excursion of pleasure. But when he was alone with +me, his sighs expressed the depth of his anguish. At times I +congratulated myself on the happiness of consoling such a noble mind.</p> + +<p>A west wind kept us a long time about the Sorlingues. We were obliged to +steer for New England. What enquiries we made on every coast! What time +and toil were thrown away! At length a northeast wind arising, we +steered for Maryland. There, it was said, John and his companions had +taken refuge.</p> + +<p>The fugitives had sojourned on the coast more than a month, and had +astonished the whole colony by indulgences in luxury and debauch, till +then unknown in that part of the world. Then they disappeared; no one +knew whither.</p> + +<p>We advanced into the bay, intending to go to Baltimore for fresh +information.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">WHAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA.</span></h4> + + +<p>On the way we found, to the right, a very handsome house. It was low, +but convenient and neat, placed between a spacious barn and a large +stable; the whole enclosed by a garden, well stocked with fruits of the +country. It belonged to an old man, who invited us to alight at his +retreat. He did not look like an Englishman; his accent showed us he was +a foreigner. We anchored and went on shore. The old man welcomed us +cordially, and gave us the best cheer to be had in the New World.</p> + +<p>We discreetly insinuated our wish to know to whom we were indebted for +so kind a reception.</p> + +<p>"I am," said he, "of the race you call savages. I was born on the Blue +Mountains, which bound this country in the west. In my childhood I was +bitten by a rattlesnake, and abandoned. I was on the point of death. The +father of the present Lord Baltimore, falling in with me, confided me to +his physician; and to him I owe my life. I soon discharged the debt; for +I have saved his in a skirmish with the neighboring tribes. He gave me, +in return, this habitation."</p> + +<p>Mr. Freind enquired if he was of Lord Baltimore's religion?</p> + +<p>"How," said he, "would you have me profess another man's religion? I +have my own."</p> + +<p>This short and energetic answer made us reflect a little.</p> + +<p>"You have, then," said I, "your own law and your own God?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," he replied, with an assurance wholly free from pride. "My God is +there," and he pointed to heaven. "My law is here," and he put his hand +on his breast.</p> + +<p>My friend was struck with admiration, and, pressing my hand, he said:</p> + +<p>"This simple nature reasons more wisely than all the bachelors with whom +we conversed at Barcelona."</p> + +<p>He was anxious to know if he could gain any information respecting his +son John. It was a weight that oppressed him. He enquired if his host +had heard speak of some young people, who had made a great noise in the +neighborhood.</p> + +<p>"Indeed I have," said he, "I received them in my house; and they were so +satisfied with the reception I gave them, that they have carried away +one of my daughters."</p> + +<p>Judge of my friend's distress at this intelligence. In his emotion, he +could not avoid exclaiming:</p> + +<p>"What! Has my son run away with your daughter?"</p> + +<p>"Good Englishman," said the host, "do not let that grieve you. I am glad +to find he is your son. He is handsome, well made, and seems courageous. +He did not run away with my dear Parouba; for you must know that Parouba +is her name, because it is mine. Had he taken off Parouba, it would have +been a robbery; and my five sons, who are now hunting some forty or +fifty miles from here, would not have endured such an affront. It is a +great sin to thieve. My daughter went of her own accord with these young +people. She has gone to see the country, a pleasure one cannot deny to +one of her age. These travelers will bring her back to me before a month +is passed. I am sure of it. They promised to do so."</p> + +<p>These words would have made me laugh, had not the evident distress of my +friend severely afflicted me.</p> + +<p>In the evening, just as we were about to start to take advantage of the +wind, one of Parouba's sons arrived out of breath, his face expressing +horror and despair.</p> + +<p>"What is the matter, my son? I thought you were hunting far away. Are +you wounded by some savage beast?"</p> + +<p>"No, father,—not wounded, yet in pain."</p> + +<p>"But whence do you come, son?"</p> + +<p>"From a distance of forty miles, without stopping; and I am almost +dead."</p> + +<p>The aged father makes him sit down. They give him restoratives. Mr. +Freind and I, his little brothers and sisters, with the servants, crowd +around him. When he recovered his breath, he exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"Alas, my sister Parouba is a prisoner of war, and will no doubt be +killed."</p> + +<p>The worthy Parouba was grieved at this recital. Mr. Freind, feeling for +him as a father, was struck to the very heart. At last, the son informed +us that a party of silly young Englishmen had attacked, for diversion, +the people of the mountains. He said, they had with them a very +beautiful lady and her maid; and he knew not how his sister came to be +with them. The handsome English lady had been scalped and killed; and +his sister captured.</p> + +<p>"I come here for aid against the people of the Blue Mountains. I will +kill them too, and will retake my dear sister, or perish."</p> + +<p>Mr. Friend's habits of self-command supported him in this trying moment.</p> + +<p>"God has given me a son," said he. "Let him take both father and son, +when the eternal decree shall go forth. My friend, I am tempted to think +God sometimes acts by a special providence, since he avenges in America +crimes committed in Europe, and since this wicked Clive-Hart died as she +deserved. Perhaps the Sovereign of the universe does in his government +punish even in this world crimes committed here. I dare not assert; I +wish to think so; indeed I should believe it, were not such an opinion +opposed to all metaphysical laws."</p> + +<p>After these sad reflections on an event common in America, Freind +resumed his usual demeanor.</p> + +<p>"I have a good ship," said he to his host, "with abundant stores. Let us +go up the gulf as near as we may to the Blue Mountains. My most anxious +business now is to save your daughter. Let us go to your countrymen, say +I bear the pipe of peace—that I am the grandson of Penn. That name +alone will suffice."</p> + +<p>At the name of Penn, so much revered throughout North America, the +worthy Parouba and his son felt the greatest respect and the greatest +hope. We embarked, and in thirty-six hours reached Baltimore.</p> + +<p>We were scarcely in sight of this almost desert place, when we saw in +the distance a numerous band of mountaineers descending to the plain, +armed with axes, tomahawks, and those muskets which Europeans so +foolishly sold to them, to procure skins. Already you might hear their +frightful howlings. From another side we saw four persons approaching on +horseback, accompanied by others on foot. We were taken for people of +Baltimore, come there for the purpose of fighting. The horsemen galloped +toward us, sword in hand. Our companions prepared to receive them. Mr. +Freind, observing them steadily, shuddered for a moment; but soon +resuming his sang-froid.</p> + +<p>"Do not stir, my friends," said he. "Leave all to me."</p> + +<p>He advanced alone and unarmed toward the party. In a moment, we saw the +chief let fall the bridle from his horse, spring to the ground, and fall +prostrate. We uttered a cry of surprise, and advanced. It was John +himself, who, bathed in tears, had fallen at the feet of his father. +Neither of them was able to speak. Birton, and the two horsemen with +him, alighted. But Birton, in his characteristic way, said:</p> + +<p>"My dear Freind, I did not expect to see you here. You and I seem born +for adventures. I am glad to see you."</p> + +<p>Freind, without deigning to reply, looked toward the army of +mountaineers, now approaching us. He walked toward them, accompanied by +Parouba, who acted as interpreter.</p> + +<p>"Fellow countrymen," said Parouba, "behold a descendant of Penn, who +brings you the pipe of peace."</p> + +<p>At these words, the eldest of the tribe raising his hands and eyes to +heaven, exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"A son of Penn! He is welcome! May the Penns live for ever! The great +Penn is our Manitou, our god. He and his were the only Europeans who did +not deceive us, and seize on our land. He bought the territory we gave +up to him; he paid for it liberally; he maintained peace among us; he +brought us remedies for the few diseases we had caught from the +Europeans. He taught us new arts. We never dug up against him and +against his children the hatchet of war. For the Penns we always +entertain respect."</p> + +<p>Freind immediately sent for thirty hams, as many pies and fowls, with +two hundred bottles of Pontac, from the ship. He seated himself close to +the chief of the Blue Mountains. John and his companions assisted at the +festival. John would rather have been a hundred feet under the earth. +His father said nothing to him; and this silence increased his +confusion.</p> + +<p>Birton, who cared for nothing, seemed very jovial. Freind, before he +began to eat, said to Parouba:</p> + +<p>"One person, very dear to you, is waiting here. I mean your daughter."</p> + +<p>The chief of the Blue Mountains ordered her to be brought. She had +suffered no injury; she smiled to her brother and father, as if she had +only returned from a walk.</p> + +<p>I took advantage of the freedom of the meal, to enquire why the warriors +of the Blue Mountains had put to death Madame Clive-Hart, and had done +nothing to Parouba's daughter.</p> + +<p>"Because we are just," returned the chief. "That proud English woman +belonged to the party that attacked us. She killed one of our men by +firing a pistol behind him. We did nothing to Parouba, as soon as we +ascertained that she was a daughter of our tribes, and only came here +for diversion. Every one should be treated according to his desert."</p> + +<p>Freind was affected by this maxim, but he represented to them that the +custom of burning captives at the stake, was degrading to worthy people; +and that, with so much virtue, they should be less ferocious.</p> + +<p>The chief then asked us what we did with those whom we killed in battle.</p> + +<p>"We bury them."</p> + +<p>"I understand. You leave them for worms to eat. Cannibals think proper +to give themselves the preference. Their stomachs are a more honorable +grave."</p> + +<p>Birton supported with pleasure the opinions of the mountaineer. He said, +the custom of boiling and roasting a neighbor must be both ancient and +natural, since it prevailed in both hemispheres; and therefore it must +be an innate idea;—that men were hunted before beasts, because it was +easier to kill men than wolves;—that if the Jews, in their books, so +long unknown, imagined that a certain Cain killed a certain Abel, it +could only be with a view to eat him—that the same Jews admit they had +often fed on human flesh;—that the best historians describe the Jews as +eating the bleeding flesh of Romans, whom they massacred in Egypt, +Cyprus, and Asia, in their revolts against the emperors Trajan and +Adrian.</p> + +<p>We allowed him to indulge in these coarse jokes, which, though +unfortunately true at the bottom, had neither Grecian wit nor Roman +urbanity.</p> + +<p>Freind, without answering him, addressed the natives. Parouba +translated, phrase by phrase. Tillotson himself never spoke with more +force. The insinuating Smaldridge never displayed more touching graces. +The great secret of eloquence is to convince. He proved to them, +accordingly, that the execrable custom of burning captives, inspired a +ferocity destructive to the human race; for this reason, they were +strangers to the comforts of society and the tillage of the ground.</p> + +<p>At last, they all swore by their great Manitou, that they would not burn +men and women again.</p> + +<p>Thus, from a single conversation, Freind became their legislator, like +an Orpheus taming tigers. In vain may the Jesuits describe their +miracles in letters which are rarely curious or edifying; they can never +equal our good friend.</p> + +<p>After loading the chiefs of the Blue Mountains with presents, he +conducted the worthy Parouba back to his residence. Young Parouba, with +his sister, accompanied us. The others went hunting in the distant +forest.</p> + +<p>John, Birton, and his companions, also embarked in the ship.</p> + +<p>Freind persisted in his plan of not reproaching his son, whenever the +young scamp did wrong. He left him to self-examination, and to consume +his heart, as Pythagoras has it. Nevertheless, he took up the letter +thrice, which had been received from England, and looked at his son as +he read it. The young man would then cast his eyes on the ground; and +respect and repentance might be read on his face.</p> + +<p>Birton continued as gay and noisy as if he had just returned from the +play. He was in character like the late Duke of Rochester, extreme in +debauchery, bravery, sentiments, language, and, in his Epicurean +philosophy, attaching himself only to the extraordinary and soon +disgusted even then; having the turn of mind that mistakes probabilities +for demonstrations; more wise and eloquent than any young man of his +age; but too indolent to be profound in any thing.</p> + +<p>While dining with us on board, Mr. Freind said to me:</p> + +<p>"Indeed, my dear friend, I hope God will inspire these young people with +purer morals, and that Clive-Hart's terrible example will be a lesson to +them."</p> + +<p>Birton, hearing these words, said, in a disdainful tone:</p> + +<p>"For a long time I had been dissatisfied with that wicked Clive-Hart. +Indeed, I scarcely care more for her than I do for a trussed fowl. But +do you believe there exists (I don't know where) a being perpetually +occupied in punishing the wicked men and women who people and depopulate +the four quarters of our little world? Do you forget that the terrible +Mary, daughter of Henry VIII., was happy till her death? and yet she had +caused the execution of eight hundred citizens, of both sexes, on the +pretext that they did not believe in transubstantiation and the pope. +Her father, nearly as cruel, and her husband, more profoundly wicked, +spent their lives in enjoyment. Pope Alexander IV., worse than these, +was still more fortunate. All his crimes succeeded. He died at the age +of seventy-two, rich and powerful, courted by the kings of the age. +Where, then, is this just and avenging God?"</p> + +<p>Mr. Freind, with austerity and calmness, replied:</p> + +<p>"It seems to me, sir, you ought not to say 'there is no God.' Remember, +Locke and Newton never pronounced that word but in a tone of reverence, +that every one remarked."</p> + +<p>"What care I" returned Birton, "for two men's grimaces? How did Newton +look, when he wrote his <i>Commentary on the Apocalypse</i>? Or Locke, when +he wrote the <i>Dialogue between a Parrot and the Prince Maurice</i>?"</p> + +<p>Then Freind repeated the golden words which should be graven on every +heart:</p> + +<p>"Let us forget the dreams of great men; and remember the truths they +have taught us."</p> + +<p>This reply gave way to a well-sustained conversation, more interesting +than that of the bachelor of Salamanca. I sat in a corner and took +notes. The company drew round the disputants. The worthy Parouba, his +son, and daughter, John's debauched companions, and John himself, with +his head resting on his hands,—all listened with eager attention.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">DIALOGUE BETWEEN FREIND AND BIRTON ON ATHEISM.</span></h4> + + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—I will not repeat to you, sir, the metaphysical arguments of +our celebrated Clarke; I only exhort you to read them again. They are +rather intended to convince than affect you. I shall confine myself to +arguments calculated to touch your heart.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—You will gratify me very much. I like to be amused and +interested. I hate sophisms. Metaphysical arguments seem to me like +balloons filled with air used between the disputants. The bladders +burst; and nothing remains.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—It is possible there may be some obscurity—some bladders—in +the deep things of Clarke, the respectable Arian. Perhaps he was +deceived on the subject of actual infinity. Perhaps, when he took upon +himself to comment on God, he follows too closely a commentator of +Homer, who attributes ideas to his author which he never entertained.</p> + +<p>At the words "infinity," "Homer," "commentators," the worthy Parouba and +his daughter, and even a few of the English, seemed disposed to go and +take an airing on the deck. But Freind promising to be intelligible, +they consented to remain. I explained in a whisper to Parouba scientific +expressions, which a native of the Blue Mountains was not likely to +understand so well as a doctor of Oxford or Cambridge.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—It would be sad, indeed, if we could not be sure of the +existence of God without being metaphysicians. In all England, scarcely +a hundred minds would be found capable of fathoming the mysteries of the +<i>for</i> and <i>against</i>; and the rest of the world would be enveloped in +ignorance,—a prey to brutal passions,—swayed by instinct alone,—and +only capable of reasoning on the vulgar notions of their carnal +interests. To find out God, I only require you to make one effort,—to +open your eyes.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—I see your aim. You are returning to the worn-out arguments +that the sun turns on its axis in twenty-five days and a half, in spite +of the absurd inquisition of Rome;—that the light comes to us reflected +from Saturn in fifteen minutes, in spite of the absurd supposition of +Descartes;—that every fixed star is a sun, like ours, surrounded by +planets; that the countless stars, scattered through space, obey +mathematical laws, discovered and proved by the great Newton;—that a +catechist announces God to children, and that Newton reveals him to the +sage, as a philosophical Frenchman said, who was persecuted in his own +country for asserting as much. Do not trouble yourself to bring before +me the ceaseless order which prevails in all parts of the universe. All +that exists must have order of some sort. Rarefied matter must take a +higher place than denser substances. The strongest press upon the +weakest. Bodies moved with a greater impulse, progress more rapidly than +those moved with less. Things arrange themselves in this way of their +own accord. In vain, after drinking a pint of wine, like Esdras, would +you talk to me for a hundred and sixty hours together without shutting +the mouth, I should not be convinced. Do you wish me to adopt an eternal +being, infinite and immutable, who saw fit, (I do not know when,) to +create from nothing, things which change every moment, and spiders to +disembowel flies? Would you have me suppose, with the gossip Niewentyt, +that God gave us ears that we might have faith? since faith cometh by +hearing. No! No! I will not believe these quacks who have sold their +drugs at a good price to fools. I keep to the little book of a +Frenchman, who maintains that nothing exists nor can exist but nature; +that nature does all, and is <i>all</i>; that it is impossible and +contradictory that any thing can exist beyond ALL. In a word, I only +believe in nature.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—What if I tell you there is no such thing as nature; and that +in us, around us, a thousand millions of leagues from us, all is art, +without any exception.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—What? All art! That's something new.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Few observe that. Nothing, however, is more true. I shall +always say, make use of your eyes, and you will recognize and adore God. +Think how those vast globes, which you see revolve in their immense +orbits, observe deep mathematical laws. There is then a great calculator +whom Plato called the eternal geometrician. You admire those newly +invented machines, called orreries, because Lord Orrery invented them by +imitating the maker. It is a feeble copy of our planetary system and its +revolutions; also the periods of the changes of the solstice and equinox +which bring us from day to day a new polar planet. This period, this +slow course of about twenty-six thousand years, could not be effected in +our feeble hands by human orreries. The machine is very imperfect; it +must be turned by a handle; yet it is a <i>chef-d'œuvre</i> of the skill +of our artisans. Conceive, then, the power and patience, the genius, of +the eternal architect, if we may apply such terms to the supreme being.</p> + +<p>When I described an orrery to Parouba, he said:</p> + +<p>"If the copy indicates genius, how much more must there be in the +original?"</p> + +<p>All present, English and American, felt the force of these words, and +raised their hands to heaven.</p> + +<p>Birton remained thoughtful. Then he cried:</p> + +<p>"What, all art? Nature the result of art? Can it be possible?"</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Now, consider yourself; examine with what art, never +sufficiently explored, all is constructed within and without for all +your wishes and actions. I do not pretend now to lecture on anatomy. You +know well enough there is not one superfluous vessel, nor one that does +not, in the exercise of its functions, depend on neighboring vessels. So +artificial is the arrangement throughout the body, that there is not a +single vein without valves and sluices, making a passage for the blood. +From the roots of the hair to the toes, all is art, design, cause, and +effect. Indeed, we cannot suppress feelings of indignation toward those +who presume to deny final causes, and have the rashness to say that the +mouth was not made to eat and speak with—that the eyes are not +admirably contrived for seeing, the ears for hearing, the nerves for +feeling. Such audacity is madness. I cannot conceive it.</p> + +<p>Let us admit that every animal renders testimony to the supreme +fabricator.</p> + +<p>The smallest herb perplexes human intellect. So true is this that the +aggregate toil of all men could not create a straw unless the seed be +sown in the earth. Let it not be said that the seed must rot in the +earth to produce. Such nonsense should not be listened to now.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The company felt the force of these proofs more forcibly than the +others, because they were more palpable. Birton murmured: "Must I then +acknowledge God? We shall see. It is not yet proved."</p> + +<p>John remained thoughtful, and seemed affected.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—No, my friends. We make nothing, we can do nothing. It is in +our power to arrange, unite, calculate, weigh, measure, but, <i>to make</i>! +What a word! The essential Being, existing by Himself, alone can make. +This is why quacks, who labor at the philosopher's stone, prove +themselves such fools. They boast that they create gold, and they cannot +even create clay. Let us then confess, my friends, that there is a +necessary and incomprehensible Being who made us.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—If he exist, where is he? Why is he concealed? Has any one ever +seen him? Should the creator of good hide himself?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Did you ever see Sir Christopher Wren, the architect of Saint +Paul's, when you were in London? Yet it is clear that church is the work +of a great architect.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Every one knows that Wren erected, at a great expense, the vast +edifice in which Burgess, when he preaches, sends us to sleep. We know +very well why and how our fathers built it. But why and how did God make +the universe from nothing? You know well the ancient maxim: "Nothing can +create nothing; nothing returns to nothing." No one ever doubted that +truth. Your Bible itself says that your God made heaven and earth, +though the heaven, that is, the assemblage of stars, is as superior to +the earth, as the earth itself is to one blade of grass. But your Bible +does not tell us that God made heaven and earth from nothing. It does +not pretend that the Lord made woman from nothing. She was kneaded in a +very singular way, from a rib taken from her husband's side. According +to the Bible, chaos existed before the world; therefore matter must be +as eternal as your God.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>A slight murmur then went round the company; "Birton might be right," +they said.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—I think I have proved to you that there is a supreme +intelligence; an eternal power to whom we owe our passing existence. I +have not engaged to tell you the how and the why. God has given me +sufficient reason to know that he exists, but not enough to discover +whether matter has been subject to him from eternity, or whether he +created it in time. What have you to do with the creation of matter, +provided you acknowledge a God the ruler of matter and of yourself? You +ask me where God is? I do not know. I ought not to know. I know that he +is; I know that he is my maker; that he makes all, and that we ought to +depend on his goodness.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—His goodness! Are you jesting with me? Did you not tell me to +make use of my eyes? Make use of yours. Glance at the world, and then +talk of the goodness of God.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Mr. Freind saw that he had now reached the most difficult part of the +dispute, and that Birton was preparing a rude assault. He saw that the +hearers, especially the Americans, together with himself, required a +little respite. Recommending himself therefore to God, they went on deck +for exercise. When tea was served, the disputation was renewed.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">ON ATHEISM.</span></h4> + + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—You must not expect such success, sir, on the subject of +goodness, as you have had on ingenuity and power. First, I shall touch +on the misconstructions of our globe, in many instances opposed to the +cleverness so much boasted of; then I intend to dwell on the perpetual +crimes and misfortunes of the inhabitants; and you will judge of the +great ruler's paternal affection for them.</p> + +<p>I shall begin by telling you that in Gloucestershire, my county, when we +breed horses, we rear them with care, in fine pasturage and good +stables, with hay and oats. Pray, what shelter and food had these poor +Americans, when we discovered their continent? They were obliged to +scour over thirty or forty miles for food. All the northern coast of the +old world is exposed to the same cruel necessity; and from Swedish +Laponia to the Sea of Japan, a hundred tribes spend a life as short as +it is wretched, in the most complete want, amidst eternal snows.</p> + +<p>Fine climates are continually exposed to destructive scourges. There we +walk over burning precipices, covered by fertile plains, which prove but +deadly snares. There is no hell but this, doubtless; and it opens a +hundred times beneath our feet.</p> + +<p>They tell us of an universal deluge, an event physically impossible, and +at which all sensible people laugh. But they console us by saying it +only lasted ten months. I wonder it did not put out the fires which have +since destroyed so many flourishing towns. Your St. Augustin tells us of +a hundred cities burnt or swallowed up in Lydia, by an earthquake. +Volcanoes have several times devastated lovely Italy. As a crowning +misfortune, the inhabitants of the Arctic Circle are not exempt from +these subterranean fires. The Icelander, always in alarm, has hunger +staring him in the face, and a hundred feet of flame or ice to the right +or left, under their Mount Hecla; for the great volcanoes are always +found among terrible mountains.</p> + +<p>It is in vain to say that mountains of two thousand toises in elevation +are nothing on a globe nine thousand miles in diameter, or like the +irregularities of an orange compared with the bulk of that fruit—that +it is scarcely one foot to every three thousand feet. Alas! What then +are we, if high mountains are but as figures one foot high for every +three thousand feet, or four inches for every nine thousand inches? We +are then animals absolutely imperceptible; yet we are liable to be +crushed by all that surrounds us, though our infinite littleness, so +closely bordering on nothing, might seem to secure us from all +accidents. Besides the countless cities, destroyed and re-destroyed like +as many ant-hills, what shall we say to the seas of sand that cross the +centre of Africa, and whose burning waves, raised by the wind, have +buried entire armies? What is the use of the vast deserts on the borders +of Syria,—deserts so horrible that the ferocious animals, called Jews, +imagined they had reached Paradise when they passed from these scenes of +horror into a little corner of land where they could cultivate a few +acres? It is not enough that man (the noble creature) should be so ill +lodged, clothed, and fed, for so many ages. He comes into the world to +live for a few days, perplexed by deceitful hopes and real vexations. +His body, contrived with useless art, is a prey to all the ills +resulting from that very art. He lives between the dangers of poison and +plague. No one can remember the list of ills we are subject to; and the +modest doctors of Switzerland pretend they can cure them all.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>While Birton said this, the company listened with attention and even +emotion. Parouba said "Let us see how the doctor will get over this."</p> + +<p>Even John said in a low tone: "On my word, he is right. I was a fool to +be so soon touched by my father's conversation."</p> + +<p>Mr. Freind waited till their imaginations were a little recovered from +the assault, and then resumed the discussion.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—A young theologian would answer these sad truths by sophisms, +backed with quotations from St. Basil and St. Cyril. For my part, I +shall admit that there are many physical evils in the world. I will not +even lessen the number, though Mr. Birton has seen fit to exaggerate. I +ask you, my dear Parouba, is not your climate made for you? It cannot +be injurious, since neither you nor your companions wish to leave it. +Esquimaux, Icelanders, Laplanders, Asiatics, and Indians, never think of +leaving theirs. The reindeer, which God has sent to clothe and feed +them, die when transported to another zone. Laplanders themselves die in +southern climates. The south of Siberia is too warm for them; here they +would be burnt. It is evident that God made every kind of animal and +vegetable for the clime in which it thrives. Negroes, a race of men so +different to ours, are so thoroughly formed for their country, that +thousands of them have preferred death to slavery elsewhere. The camel +and ostrich are quite at home in the sands of Africa. The bull abounds +in fertile countries, where the grass is ever fresh for his nourishment. +Cinnamon and spice only grow in India. Barley is only useful in those +countries where God has appointed it to grow. From one end of America to +the other, you have different kinds of food. The vine cannot be brought +to perfection in England, nor in Sweden and Canada. This is the reason +that in some countries the elements of religious rites consist in bread +and wine; and they do well to thank God for the food and beverage his +goodness has provided; and Americans would do well to thank him for +their Indian corn and arrow-root. Throughout the world God has suited +all animals, from the snail to man, to the countries in which he has +placed them. Let us not reproach Providence when we owe him praises.</p> + +<p>But to consider scourges, such as inundations, volcanoes, earthquakes. +If you confine your attention to the accidents which sometimes happen to +the wheels of the eternal machine, you may well consider God as a +tyrant; but observe his ceaseless benefits, and he becomes a +compassionate father. You have quoted Augustin and his account of the +destruction of a hundred cities; but remember the African rhetorician +often contradicts himself and was prodigal of exaggerations in his +writings. He wrote of earthquakes as he did of the efficacy of grace, +and the damnation of children dying without baptism. Has he not said in +his thirty-seventh sermon, that he had seen people at Ethiopia with one +eye in the middle of the forehead like the Cyclops, and a whole race +without heads?</p> + +<p>We, who are not fathers of the church, ought not to go beyond nor to +stop short of truth; and the truth is, that of the houses destroyed, we +cannot reckon that more than one out of every hundred thousand, is +destroyed by the fires necessary to the due performance of the +operations of the world.</p> + +<p>So essential to the nature of the universe is fire, that but for it +there would be no sun nor stars, no animals, vegetables, or minerals. +The fire, placed under the earth, is subject to fixed natural laws. Some +disasters may nevertheless occur. You cannot say a man is a poor artisan +when an immense machine, formed by him, lasts unimpaired for years. If a +man invented a hydraulic engine to water a province, would you disparage +his work because it destroys some insects?</p> + +<p>I have shown you that the machine of the world is the work of an +intelligent and powerful being; you, who are intelligent, ought to +admire him,—you, who are laden with his gifts, ought to adore him.</p> + +<p>But how, you inquire, can the wretches who are condemned to languish +under incurable evils—how can they admire and love? I must tell you, +that such ills are generally brought on ourselves, or come to us from +our fathers, who abused their bodies, and not from the great fabricator. +No disease but decrepitude was known in America till we introduced +strong liquors, the source of all evils.</p> + +<p>Let us remember that in Milton's Poem, the simple Adam is made to +inquire if he will live long. Yes, is the reply, if you take nothing to +excess. Observe this rule, my friends. Can you require that God should +let you live for ages, as the reward of your gluttony, your drunkenness, +your incontinence, and your indulgence in infamous passions, which +corrupt the blood and necessarily shorten life?</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>I approved of this reply. Parouba liked it; but Birton was not moved. I +read in John's eyes that he was still doubtful. Birton rejoined in these +terms:</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Since you have made use of common arguments, with a few novel +remarks, I may be allowed to follow your plan. If so good and powerful a +God existed, surely he would not have suffered evil to enter the world, +nor have devoted his creatures to grief and crime. If he cannot prevent +evil, he is not almighty; if he will not, he is cruel.</p> + +<p>The annals of the Brahmins only extend back 8,000 years; those of the +Chinese only 5,000. Our knowledge is but of yesterday; but, in that +brief space, all is horror. Murder has been the practice from one end of +the earth to the other; and men have been weak enough to give to those +men who slew the greatest number of their fellow creatures, the titles +of heroes, demi-gods, and even gods.</p> + +<p>In America there were left two great nations, beginning to enjoy the +sweets of peace and civilization, when the Spaniards came there to slay +eleven millions. They hunted men down with dogs; and King Ferdinand of +Castile gave those dogs pensions for their services.</p> + +<p>The heroes who subdued the New World, massacred innocent and helpless +babes, murdered peaceable and defenceless Indians, and committed the +most inhuman barbarities! They roasted King Guatimozin, in Mexico, on a +gridiron. They hastened to Peru to convert the Inca, Atahualpa. A +priest, named Almagro, son of a priest condemned to be hanged in Spain +for highway robbery, went there with one Pizarro, to inform the Emperor +of the Peruvians, by the voice of another priest, that a third priest, +named Alexander IV., polluted by incest, assassination, and homicide, +had given, with his full consent (<i>proprio motu</i>) and with full power, +not only Peru, but one half of the New World, to the King of Spain; and +that Atahualpa ought instantly to submit, under pain of suffering the +indignation of the apostles Peter and Paul. But as this king knew as +little of Latin as the priest who read the papal bull, he was instantly +declared heretical and incredulous.</p> + +<p>They burned Atahualpa, as they had burned Guatimozin. They slew his +people; and all to gain that hard and yellow earth which has only served +to depopulate and impoverish Spain; for it has made her neglect the +cultivation of the earth, which really nourishes man.</p> + +<p>Now, my dear Mr. Freind, if the fantastic and ridiculous being men call +the devil, had wished to make men in his image, would he have made them +otherwise? Do not, then, attribute such an abominable work to God.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>This speech brought the party round again to Birton's views. I saw John +rejoice in himself; even young Parouba heard with horror of the priest +Almagro—of the priest who read the Latin bull—of the priest Alexander +IV.—-of all Christians who committed, under pretence of devotion, such +crimes to obtain gold. I confess, I trembled for Freind. I despaired of +his cause. He replied, however, without embarrassment.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND.—</span>Remember, my friends, there is a God. This I proved to you, you +agreed to it, and after being driven to admit that he exists, you strive +to find out his imperfections, vices, and wickedness.</p> + +<p>I am far from asserting, with some reasoners, that private ills form the +general good. This is too ridiculous a sentiment. I admit, with grief, +that the world contains much moral and physical evil: but, since it is +certain that God exists, it is also certain that all these evils cannot +prevent God's existence. He cannot be cruel. What interest could make +him so? There are horrible evils in the world, my friends. Let us not +swell their number. It is impossible that God can be other than good; +but men are perverse, and make a detestable use of the liberty that God +has given and ought to have given,—that is, the power of exercising +their wills, without which they would be simple machines, formed by a +wicked being, to be broken at his caprice.</p> + +<p>All enlightened Spaniards agree that a small number of their ancestors +abused this liberty so far as to commit crimes that make human nature +shudder. The second Don Carlos did what he could to repair the +atrocities committed by the Spaniards under Ferdinand and Charles V.</p> + +<p>If there be crime in the world, my friends, there is virtue as well.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Ah! ha! virtue! A good joke! I should like to see this virtue. +Where is she to be found?</p> + +<p>At these words I could not contain myself.</p> + +<p>"You may find her," said I, "in the worthy Mr. Freind, in Parouba, even +in yourself when your heart is cleansed of its vices."</p> + +<p>He blushed; and John also. The latter looked down and seemed to feel +remorse. His father surveyed him with compassion and resumed.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND.—</span>Yes, dear friends. If there have always been crimes; there have +always been virtues too. Athens had such men as Socrates, as well as +such as Anitus. Rome had Catos, as well as Syllas. Nero frightened the +world by his atrocities, but Titus, Trajan, and the Antonines, consoled +it by their benevolence, My friend will explain to Parouba who these +great men were. Fortunately, I have Epictetus in my pocket. Epictetus +was a slave, but the equal of Marcus Aurelius in mind. Listen; and may +all who pretend to teach men hear what Epictetus says to himself,—"God +made me; I feel this; and shall I dare to dishonor him by infamous +thoughts, criminal actions, and base desires?" His mind agreed with his +conversation. Marcus Aurelius, on the throne of Europe and two parts of +our hemisphere, did not think otherwise than the slave Epictetus. The +one was never humiliated by meanness, nor the other dazzled by +greatness; and when they wrote their thoughts it was for the use of +their disciples, and not to be extolled in the papers. Pray, in your +opinion, were not Locke, Newton, Tillotson, Penn, Clarke, the good man +called "The Man of Ross," and many others, in and beyond your island, +models of virtue?</p> + +<p>You have alluded to the cruel and unjust wars of which so many nations +have been guilty. You have described the abominations of Christians in +Mexico and Peru; you might add the St. Bartholomew of France and the +Irish massacre. But are there not people who have always held in +abhorrence the shedding of blood? Have not the Brahmins in all ages +given this example to the world? and, even in this country, have we not +near us, in Pennsylvania, our Philadelphians, whom they attempt in vain +to ridicule by the name of Quakers, and who have always hated war?</p> + +<p>Have we not the Carolinas, where the great Locke dictated laws? In these +two lands of virtue, all citizens are equal; all consciences are free; +all religions good; provided they worship God. There all men are +brethren. You have seen, Mr. Birton, the inhabitants of the Blue +Mountains lay down their arms before a descendant of Penn. They felt the +force of virtue. You persist in disavowing it. Because the earth +produces poisons as well as wholesome plants, will you prefer the +poisons?</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Oh, sir, your poisons are not to the point. If God made them, +they are his work. He is master, and does all. His hand directs +Cromwell's, when he signs the death warrant of Charles I. His arm +conducts the headsman's, who severs his head from the body. No, I cannot +admit that God is a homicide.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Nor I. Pray, hear me. You will admit that God governs by +general laws. According to these laws, Cromwell, a monster of fanaticism +and envy, determines to sacrifice Charles I. to his own interest, which, +no doubt, all men seek to promote, though they do not understand it +alike. According to the laws of motion established by God, the +executioner cuts off his head. But assuredly it is not God who commits +the assassination by a particular act of his will. God was not Cromwell, +nor Ravaillac, nor Balthazar Gerard, nor the preaching friar, James +Clement. God does not permit, nor command, nor authorize crime. But he +has made man; he has established laws of motion; and these eternal laws +are equally executed by the good man who stretches out his hand to the +poor, and by the hand of a villain who assassinates his brother. In the +same way that God did not extinguish the sun, or swallow up Spain, to +punish Cortez, Almagro, and Pizarro, so, also, he does not send a +company of angels to London, nor make a hundred thousand pipes of +Burgundy to descend from heaven to delight the hearts of his dear +Englishmen, when they do good. His general providence would become +ridiculous, if thus made manifest to every individual; and this is so +striking, that God never punishes a criminal immediately, by a decided +stroke of his power. He lets the sun shine on the evil and the good. If +some wretches expire in their crimes, it is by the general laws that +govern the world. I have read in a great book, by a Frenchman called +Mézeray, that God caused our Henry V. to suffer a painful death, because +he dared to sit on the throne of a Christian king.</p> + +<p>The physical part of a bad action is the effect of the primary laws +given to matter by the hand of God. All moral evil is the effect of the +liberty which man abuses.</p> + +<p>In a word, without plunging into the fogs of metaphysics, let us +remember that the existence of God is proved. We have no longer to argue +on that point. Take God from the world, and does the assassination of +Charles I. become more lawful? Do you feel less aversion toward his +executioner? God exists. Enough. If he exists, he is just. Be, then, +just also.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Your argument has strength and force, though it does not +altogether exonerate God from being the author of physical and moral +evil. I see your way of justifying him makes an impression on the +assembly; but might it not be contrived that these laws should not +involve such particular misfortunes? You have proved to me a powerful +and eternal God, and I was almost on the point of believing. But I have +some terrible objections to make. Come, John, courage; let us not be +cast down.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">ON ATHEISM.</span></h4> + + +<p>Night closed in beautifully. The atmosphere presented a vault of +transparent azure, spangled with golden stars. Such a spectacle always +affects man, and inspires him with pleasant reveries. The worthy Parouba +admired the heavens, like a German when he beholds St. Peter's at Rome, +or the Opera at Naples, for the first time.</p> + +<p>"What a boldly arched vault," said he to Freind.</p> + +<p>"It is no arch at all," replied Freind. "The blue dome you behold is +nothing more than a collection of vapors, which God has so disposed and +combined with the mechanism of your eyes, that, wherever you may be, you +are still in the centre of your promenade, and perceive what is called +heaven, arched above your head."</p> + +<p>"And those stars, Mr. Freind?"</p> + +<p>"As I have already said, they are so many suns, round which other worlds +revolve. Far from being attached to that blue vault, remember that they +are at various and prodigious distances from us. That star is twelve +hundred millions of miles from our sun."</p> + +<p>Then, showing him the telescope he had brought, he pointed out to him +the planets;—Jupiter, with his four moons; Saturn, with his five moons +and mysterious ring.</p> + +<p>"It is the same light," said he, "which proceeds from all these +luminaries, and comes to us from this planet, in a quarter of an hour, +and from that star, in six months."</p> + +<p>Parouba was deeply impressed, and said: "The heavens proclaim a God." +All the crew looked on with admiration. But the pertinacious Birton, +unmoved, continued as follows:</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Be it so! There is a God, I grant it. But what is that to you +and me? What connection is there between the superior Being and worms of +the earth? What relation is there between his essence and ours? +Epicurus, when he supposed a God in the planets, did well to conclude +that he took no part in our horrors and follies; that we could neither +please nor offend him; that he had no need of us; nor we of him. You +admit a God, more worthy of the human mind than the God of Epicurus, or +the gods of the east and west: but if you assert, with so many others, +that God made the world and man for his own glory; that he formerly +required sacrifices of oxen for his glory; that he appeared for his +glory in our biped form, you would, I think, be asserting an absurdity. +The love of glory is nothing but pride. A proud man is a conceited +fellow, such as Shakespeare would introduce in his plays. This epithet +cannot suit God—it does not agree with the divine nature—any more than +injustice, cruelty or inconstancy. If God condescended to regulate the +universe, it could only be to make others happy. Has he done so?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—He has doubtless succeeded with all just spirits. They will be +happy one day; if they are not so now.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Happy! How? When? Who told you so?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—His justice.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Will you tell me that we shall live eternally—that we have +immortal souls, after admitting that the Jews, whom you boast of having +succeeded, did not entertain this notion of immortality up to the time +of Herod? This idea of an immortal soul was invented by the Brahmins, +adopted by the Persians, Chaldeans, and Greeks, and was for a long time +unknown to the insignificant and superstitious Jewish tribes. Alas! sir, +how do we know that we have souls? or how do we know but other animals, +who have similar passions, wills, appetites, and memories, so +incomprehensible to us, have not souls as well?</p> + +<p>Hitherto I have thought that there is in nature a power by which we have +the faculty of life in all our body,—walking with our feet,—taking +with our hands,—seeing with our eyes, feeling with our nerves, +thinking with our brain,—and that all this is called the soul, which is +merely a vague word, signifying the unknown principle of our faculties. +With you, I will call God the intelligent principle animating nature; +but has he condescended to reveal himself to us?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>. Yes, by his works.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—Has he revealed his laws, or spoken to us?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Yes, by the voice of conscience. Is it true, that, if you +killed your Father and mother, your conscience would be a prey to a +remorse as terrible as it would be involuntary? Is not this truth avowed +and felt throughout the world? To come down to lesser crimes,—do they +not all revolt us at the first glance,—make us turn pale when we commit +them for the first time,—and leave in our hearts the stings of +repentance?</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—I must confess it.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—God, in thus speaking to your heart, has commanded you to +abstain from crime. As for equivocal actions, which some condemn and +others approve, what can we do better than follow the grand rule of +Zoroaster,—"When you are not sure whether the action you are about to +commit is good or bad, abstain from it."</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—An admirable maxim, and doubtless the most beautiful ever +advanced in morals. I admit that, from time to time, God has raised up +men to teach virtue to their degraded fellows. I apologize to you for +speaking lightly of virtue.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Rather apologize to the Supreme Being, who can reward and +punish eternally.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—What! will God punish me for yielding to passions he has given +me?</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—He has given you passions, with which you can do both good and +evil. I do not tell you he will punish eternally; nor how he will +punish; for no one can know that. The Brahmins were the first to +conceive a place of imprisonment for those who had revolted from God; +they were shut up in a description of hell, called Onderah, but were +gradually liberated at various periods. Hence we have our mixture of +virtues, vices, pleasures, and calamities. This conceit is +ingenious;—and that of Pandora and Prometheus more so. Less polished +nations have vulgurly imitated the same fable. These inventions are the +fancies of Eastern philosophy. All I can say is, that if by abusing +your liberty you have done evil, you cannot say God will not punish you.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—I have tried to convince myself that he could not; but in vain. +I confess I have abused my liberty, and that God may well punish me. But +I cannot be punished when I have ceased to exist.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—The best course is to do well, while you exist.</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—To do well! Well, I confess I think you are right. It is the +best course.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>I wish, my dear friend, you had witnessed the effect of Freind's +discourse on both the English and Americans. The light saucy Birton +became thoughtful and modest. John fell at his father's feet, with tears +in his eyes, and his father embraced him. I shall now proceed to relate +the last scene of this interesting disputation.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—I conceive that the great master of the universe is eternal; +but we, who are but of yesterday, may we presume to expect immortality? +All beings around us perish, from the insect devoured by the swallow, to +the elephant, eaten by worms.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—Nothing perishes; but all things change. The genus of animals +and vegetables subsist, develop, and multiply. Why can you not allow +that God might preserve the principle which makes us act and think, of +whatever nature it may be? God preserve me from making a system; but +certainly there is in us something that wills and thinks. This +something, formerly called a monad, is imperceptible. God has given it +us, or, rather, God has given us to it. Are you sure he cannot preserve +it in being? Can you give me any proof?</p> + +<p><span class="small">BIRTON</span>.—No! I have sought for a proof in all the atheistical books +within my reach; and especially in the third <i>Book of Lucrece</i>; but I +never found any thing but conjectures.</p> + +<p><span class="small">FREIND</span>.—And shall we on simple conjecture give ourselves up to fatal +passions, and live like brutes, with no other restraint upon us than the +fear of men, rendered eternally cruel to each other by their mutual +dread? For we always wish to destroy what we fear. Think, sir! think +seriously, my son John. To expect neither reward nor punishment is the +true spirit of atheism. What is the use of a God who has no power over +you? As though one should say, "There is a very powerful king in +China," I reply, "Success to him, let him keep in his territory,—I, in +mine. I care no more for him than he cares for me. He has no more +control over me than a canon of Windsor over a member of parliament." +Then should I be a God to myself,—Sacrificing the whole world to my +caprice? And, recognizing no law, I should only consider myself? If +others are sheep, I should become the wolf. If they choose to play the +chicken, I should play the fox.</p> + +<p>I will presume, (God forbid it), that all Englishmen are atheists. I +will allow that there may be some peaceable citizens, quiet by nature, +rich enough to be honest, regulated by honor, and so attentive to +demeanor, that they contrive to live together in society. They cultivate +the arts which improve morals; they live at peace in the innocent gaiety +of honest people. But the poor and needy atheist, sure of impunity, +would be a fool if he did not assassinate or steal to get money. Then +would all the bonds of society be sundered. All secret crimes would +inundate the world, and, like locusts, though at first imperceptible, +would overspread the earth. The common people would become hordes of +thieves, like those of our day, of whom not a tenth part are hung at our +sessions. They would pass their wretched lives in taverns, with bad +women. They would fight together, and fall down drunk amidst the pewter +pots with which they break each other's heads. Nor would they rise but +to steal and murder again,—-to recommence the same round of hideous +brutality. Who, then, would restrain great kings in their fury? An +atheist king is more dangerous than a fanatical Ravaillac.</p> + +<p>Atheism abounded in Italy during the fifteenth century. What was the +consequence? It was as common a matter to poison another, as to invite +him to supper. The stroke of the stiletto was as frequent as an embrace. +There were then professors of crime; as we now have professors of music +and mathematics. Churches, even, were the favorite scenes of murder, and +princes were slain at the altar. In this way, Pope Sextus IV. and +archbishop of Pisa put to death two of the most accomplished princes of +Europe. Explain, my dear friend, to Parouba and his children, what I +mean by a pope and an archbishop; but tell them we have no such monsters +now. But to resume: A Duke of Milan was also slain in a church. Every +one knows the astonishing horrors of Alexander VI. Had such morals +continued, Italy would have been more desolate than Peru after the +invasion.</p> + +<p>Faith, then, in a God who rewards good actions, punishes the bad, and +forgives lesser faults, is most useful to mankind. It is the only +restraint on powerful men, who insolently commit crimes on the public, +and on others who skillfully perpetrate offences. I do not tell you to +mingle, with this necessary faith, superstitious notions that disgrace +it. Atheism is a monster that would prey on mankind only to satisfy its +voracity. Superstition is another phantom, preying upon men as a deity. +I have often observed that an atheist may be cured; but we rarely cure +superstition radically. The atheist is generally an inquiring man, who +is deceived; the superstitious man is a brutal fool, having no ideas of +his own. An atheist might assault Ephigenia when on the point of +marrying Achilles; but a fanatic would piously sacrifice her on the +altar, and think he did service to Jupiter. An atheist would steal a +golden vessel from the altar to feast his favorites, but the fanatic +would celebrate an <i>auto-da-fe</i> in the same church, and sing hymns while +he was causing Jews to be burned alive. Yes, my friends, superstition +and atheism are the two poles of a universe in confusion. Tread these +paths with a firm step; believe in a good God, and <i>be</i> good. This is +all that the great philosophers, Penn and Locke, require of their +people.</p> + +<p>Answer me, Mr. Birton,—and you, my friends,—what harm can the worship +of God, joined to the happiness of a virtuous life, do you? We might be +seized with mortal sickness, even now while I am speaking; who, then, +would not wish to have lived innocently? Read, in Shakespeare, the death +of our wicked Richard III., and see how the ghosts of those he had +murdered haunted his imagination. Witness the death of Charles IX. after +the horrors of St. Bartholomew. In vain his chaplain assured him he had +done well. His blood started from every pore; all the blood he had shed +cried out against him! Believe me, all these monsters were tortured by +remorse, and died in despair.</p> + +<p>Birton and his friends could contain themselves no longer. They fell at +Freind's feet, "Yes," said Birton, "I believe in God, and I believe +you."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">RETURN TO ENGLAND—JOHN'S MARRIAGE.</span></h4> + + +<p>We were already near Parouba's house; and we supped there. John could +eat nothing. He sat apart in tears. His father went to console him.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said John, "I do not deserve such a father. I shall die of shame +for yielding to the fascination of that wicked Clive-Hart. I am the +cause of Miss Primerose's death; just now, when you talked of poison, I +shuddered; for I thought I saw Clive-Hart presenting the horrible +draught to Primerose. How could I have so far lost myself as to +accompany so vile a creature? I was blind. I did not discover my error +till she was taken by the savages. In a fit of rage she almost admitted +her guilt. From that moment, I have loathed her; and, for a punishment, +the form of Primerose is ever before me, and seems to say, 'I died +because I loved you.'" His father said a blameless life could alone +repair his past errors.</p> + +<p>The next day we sailed for England, after giving presents to the +Paroubas. Tears mingled with our adieus; and Birton, who had been only +giddy, already seemed a reasonable person.</p> + +<p>When we were out at sea, Freind said to John, in my presence: "Do you +still cherish the memory of the amiable Primerose?" These words so wrung +the heart of the young man, that I feared he would throw himself into +the sea.</p> + +<p>"Console yourself, then," said Freind. "Miss Primerose is alive, and +loves you still."</p> + +<p>Freind had received certain information on this subject from his +servant, who had written to him punctually by every ship. Mr. Mead, who +has since acquired so great a reputation by his skill in the +counteraction of poisons, had saved the young lady's life. In a moment, +John passed from despair to extreme joy. I will not attempt to describe +the change. It was the happiest moment of his life. Birton and his +friends shared his joy. What more shall I say? The worthy Freind was as +a father to all. The wedding was celebrated at Dr. Mead's. Birton, now +another man, also married; and he and John are now among the best people +in England.</p> + +<p>Admit, that a wise man can instruct fools.<br /><br /></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 520px;"> +<a name="Epictetus_the_slave" id="Epictetus_the_slave"></a> +<img src="images/img_030_epictetus.jpg" width="520" alt="EPICTETUS, THE SLAVE. From a painting by Giuseppe +Rossi.—Marcus Aurelius, on the throne of Europe and two parts of our +hemisphere, did not think otherwise than the slave Epictetus." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Epictetus, the slave. From a painting by Giuseppe +Rossi.—Marcus Aurelius, on the throne of Europe and two parts of our +hemisphere, did not think otherwise than the slave Epictetus.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 607px;"> +<a name="Grand_entrance_to_palace" id="Grand_entrance_to_palace"></a> +<img src="images/img_031_grand_entrance.jpg" width="607" alt="GRAND ENTRANCE TO PALACE. (From Layard's Discoveries +among the ruins of Nineveh and Babylon.)" title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Grand entrance to palace. (From Layard's Discoveries +among the ruins of Nineveh and Babylon.)</span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="PRINCESS_OF_BABYLON" id="PRINCESS_OF_BABYLON"></a>PRINCESS OF BABYLON</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 380px;"> +<a name="The_Phoenix" id="The_Phoenix"></a> +<img src="images/img_032_phoenix.jpg" width="380" alt="The Phœnix" title=" " /> + <span class="caption_fig">The Phœnix +<a name="FNanchor_1_20" id="FNanchor_1_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_20" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></span> +</div> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Ia" id="Ia"></a>I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">ROYAL CONTEST FOR THE HAND OF FORMOSANTA</span>.</h4> + + +<p>The aged Belus, king of Babylon, thought himself the first man upon +earth; for all his courtiers told him so, and his historians proved it. +We know that his palace and his park, situated at a few parafangs from +Babylon, extended between the Euphrates and the Tigris, which washed +those enchanted banks. His vast house, three thousand feet in front, +almost reached the clouds. The platform was surrounded with a balustrade +of white marble, fifty feet high, which supported colossal statues of +all the kings and great men of the empire. This platform, composed of +two rows of bricks, covered with a thick surface of lead from one +extremity to the other, bore twelve feet of earth; and upon the earth +were raised groves of olive, orange, citron, palm, cocoa, and cinnamon +trees, and stock gillyflowers, which formed alleys that the rays of the +sun could not penetrate.</p> + +<p>The waters of the Euphrates running, by the assistance of pumps, in a +hundred canals, formed cascades of six thousand feet in length in the +park, and a hundred thousand <i>jets d'eau</i>, whose height was scarce +perceptible. They afterward flowed into the Euphrates, from whence they +came. The gardens of Semiramis, which astonished Asia several ages +after, were only a feeble imitation of these ancient prodigies, for in +the time of Semiramis, every thing began to degenerate amongst men and +women.</p> + +<p>But what was more admirable in Babylon, and eclipsed every thing else, +was the only daughter of the king, named Formosanta. It was from her +pictures and statues, that in succeeding times Praxiteles sculptured his +Aphrodita, and the Venus of Medicis. Heavens! what a difference between +the original and the copies! so that king Belus was prouder of his +daughter than of his kingdom. She was eighteen years old. It was +necessary she should have a husband worthy of her; but where was he to +be found? An ancient oracle had ordained, that Formosanta could not +belong to any but him who could bend the bow of Nimrod.</p> + +<p>This Nimrod, "a mighty hunter before the Lord," (<i>Gen. x:9</i>), had left a +bow seventeen Babylonian feet in length, made of ebony, harder than the +iron of mount Caucasus, which is wrought in the forges of Derbent; and +no mortal since Nimrod could bend this astonishing bow.</p> + +<p>It was again said, "that the arm which should bend this bow would kill +the most terrible and ferocious lion that should be let loose in the +Circus of Babylon." This was not all. The bender of the bow, and the +conquerer of the lion, should overthow all his rivals; but he was above +all things to be very sagacious, the most magnificent and most virtuous +of men, and possess the greatest curiosity in the whole universe.</p> + +<p>Three kings appeared, who were bold enough to claim Formosanta. Pharaoh +of Egypt, the Shah of India, and the great Khan of the Scythians. Belus +appointed the day and place of combat, which was to be at the extremity +of his park, in the vast expanse surrounded by the joint waters of the +Euphrates and the Tigris. Round the lists a marble amphitheatre was +erected, which might contain five hundred thousand spectators. Opposite +the amphitheatre was placed the king's throne. He was to appear with +Formosanta, accompanied by the whole court; and on the right and left +between the throne and the amphitheatre, there were other thrones and +seats for the three kings, and for all the other sovereigns who were +desirous to be present at this august ceremony.</p> + +<p>The king of Egypt arrived the first, mounted upon the bull Apis, and +holding in his hand the cithern of Isis. He was followed by two thousand +priests, clad in linen vestments whiter than snow, two thousand eunuchs, +two thousand magicians, and two thousand warriors.</p> + +<p>The king of India came soon after in a car drawn by twelve elephants. He +had a train still more numerous and more brilliant than Pharaoh of +Egypt.</p> + +<p>The last who appeared was the king of the Scythians. He had none with +him but chosen warriors, armed with bows and arrows. He was mounted upon +a superb tiger, which he had tamed, and which was as tall as any of the +finest Persian horses. The majestic and important mien of this king +effaced the appearance of his rivals; his naked arms, as nervous as they +were white, seemed already to bend the bow of Nimrod.</p> + +<p>These three lovers immediately prostrated themselves before Belus and +Formosanta. The king of Egypt presented the princess with two of the +finest crocodiles of the Nile, two sea horses, two zebras, two Egyptian +rats, and two mummies, with the books of the great Hermes, which he +judged to be the scarcest things upon earth.</p> + +<p>The king of India offered her a hundred elephants, each bearing a wooden +gilt tower, and laid at her feet the <i>vedam</i>, written by the hand of +Xaca himself.</p> + +<p>The king of the Scythians, who could neither write nor read, presented a +hundred warlike horses with black fox skin housings.</p> + +<p>The princess appeared with a downcast look before her lovers, and +reclined herself with such a grace as was at once modest and noble.</p> + +<p>Belus ordered the kings to be conducted to the thrones that were +prepared for them. "Would I had three daughters," said he to them, "I +should make six people this day happy!" He then made the competitors +cast lots which should try Nimrod's bow first. Their names inscribed +were put into a golden casque. That of the Egyptian king came out first, +then the name of the King of India appeared. The king of Scythia, +viewing the bow and his rivals, did not complain at being the third.</p> + +<p>Whilst these brilliant trials were preparing, twenty thousand pages and +twenty thousand youthful maidens distributed, without any disorder, +refreshments to the spectators between the rows of seats. Every one +acknowledged that the gods had instituted kings for no other cause than +every day to give festivals, upon condition they should be +diversified—that life is too short for any other purpose—that +lawsuits, intrigues, wars, the altercations of theologists, which +consume human life, are horrible and absurd—that man is born only for +happiness that he would not passionately and incessantly pursue +pleasure, were he not designed for it—that the essence of human nature +is to enjoy ourselves, and all the rest is folly. This excellent moral +was never controverted but by facts.</p> + +<p>Whilst preparations were making for determining the fate of Formosanta, +a young stranger, mounted upon an unicorn, accompanied by his valet, +mounted on a like animal, and bearing upon his hand a large bird, +appeared at the barrier. The guards were surprised to observe in this +equipage, a figure that had an air of divinity. He had, as hath been +since related, the face of Adonis upon the body of Hercules; it was +majesty accompanied by the graces. His black eye-brows and flowing fair +tresses, wore a mixture of beauty unknown at Babylon, and charmed all +observers. The whole amphitheatre rose up, the better to view the +stranger. All the ladies of the court viewed him with looks of +astonishment. Formosanta herself, who had hitherto kept her eyes fixed +upon the ground, raised them and blushed. The three kings turned pale. +The spectators, in comparing Formosanta with the stranger, cried out, +"There is no other in the world, but this young man, who can be so +handsome as the princess."</p> + +<p>The ushers, struck with astonishment, asked him if he was a king? The +stranger replied, that he had not that honor, but that he had come from +a distant country, excited by curiosity, to see if there were any king +worthy of Formosanta. He was introduced into the first row of the +amphitheatre, with his valet, his two unicorns, and his bird. He +saluted, with great respect, Belus, his daughter, the three kings, and +all the assembly. He then took his seat, not without blushing. His two +unicorns lay down at his feet; his bird perched upon his shoulder; and +his valet, who carried a little bag, placed himself by his side.</p> + +<p>The trials began. The bow of Nimrod was taken out of its golden case. +The first master of the ceremonies, followed by fifty pages, and +preceded by twenty trumpets, presented it to the king of Egypt, who made +his priests bless it; and supporting it upon the head of the bull Apis, +he did not question his gaining this first victory. He dismounted, and +came into the middle of the circus. He tries, exerts all his strength, +and makes such ridiculous contortions, that the whole amphitheatre +re-echoes with laughter, and Formosanta herself could not help smiling.</p> + +<p>His high almoner approached him:</p> + +<p>"Let your majesty give up this idle honor, which depends entirely upon +the nerves and muscles. You will triumph in every thing else. You will +conquer the lion, as you are possessed of the favor of Osiris. The +Princess of Babylon is to belong to the prince who is most sagacious, +and you have solved enigmas. She is to wed the most virtuous: you are +such, as you have been educated by the priests of Egypt. The most +generous is to marry her, and you have presented her with two of the +handsomest crocodiles, and two of the finest rats in all the Delta. You +are possessed of the bull Apis, and the books of Hermes, which are the +scarcest things in the universe. No one can hope to dispute Formosanta +with you."</p> + +<p>"You are in the right," said the King of Egypt, and resumed his throne.</p> + +<p>The bow was then put in the hands of the king of India. It blistered his +hands for a fortnight; but he consoled himself in presuming that the +Scythian King would not be more fortunate than himself.</p> + +<p>The Scythian handled the bow in his turn. He united skill with strength. +The bow seemed to have some elasticity in his hands. He bent it a +little, but he could not bring it near a curve. The spectators, who had +been prejudiced in his favor by his agreeable aspect, lamented his ill +success, and concluded that the beautiful princess would never be +married.</p> + +<p>The unknown youth leaped into the arena and addressing himself to the +king of Scythia said:</p> + +<p>"Your majesty need not be surprised at not having entirely succeeded. +These ebony bows are made in my country. There is a peculiar method in +using them. Your merit is greater in having bent it, than if I were to +curve it."</p> + +<p>He then took an arrow and placing it upon the string, bent the bow of +Nimrod, and shot the arrow beyond the gates. A million hands at once +applauded the prodigy. Babylon re-echoed with acclamations; and all the +ladies agreed it was fortunate for so handsome a youth to be so strong.</p> + +<p>He then took out of his pocket a small ivory tablet, wrote upon it with +a golden pencil, fixed the tablet to the bow, and then presented it to +the princess with such a grace as charmed every spectator. He then +modestly returned to his place between his bird and his valet. All +Babylon was in astonishment; the three kings were confounded, whilst the +stranger did not seem to pay the least attention to what had happened.</p> + +<p>Formosanta was still more surprised to read upon the ivory tablet, tied +to the bow, these lines, written in the best Chaldean:</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">L'arc de Nembrod est celui de la guerre;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">L'arc de l'amour est celui du bonheur;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Vous le portez. Par vous ce Dieu vainqueur</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Est devenu le maitre de la terre.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Trois Rois puissants, trois rivaux aujourd'hui,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Osent pretendre a l'honneur de vous plaire.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Je ne sais pas qui votre cœur prefere,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Mais l'univers sera jaloux de lui.</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">[The bow of Nimrod is that of war;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">The bow of love is that of happiness</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Which you possess. Through you this conquering God</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Has become master of the earth.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Three powerful kings,—three rivals now,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Dare aspire to the honor of pleasing you.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">I know not whom your heart may prefer,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">But the universe will be jealous of him.]</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>This little madrigal did not displease the princess; but it was +criticised by some of the lords of the ancient court, who said that, in +former times, Belus would have been compared to the sun, and Formosanta +to the moon; his neck to a tower, and her breast to a bushel of wheat. +They said the stranger had no sort of imagination, and that he had lost +sight of the rules of true poetry, but all the ladies thought the verses +very gallant. They were astonished that a man who handled a bow so well +should have so much wit. The lady of honor to the princess said to her:</p> + +<p>"Madam, what great talents are here entirely lost? What benefit will +this young man derive from his wit, and his skill with Nimrod's bow?"</p> + +<p>"Being admired!" said Formosanta.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said the lady, "one more madrigal, and he might well be beloved."</p> + +<p>The king of Babylon, having consulted his sages, declared that though +none of these kings could bend the bow of Nimrod, yet, nevertheless, his +daughter was to be married, and that she should belong to him who could +conquer the great lion, which was purposely kept in training in his +great menagerie.</p> + +<p>The king of Egypt, upon whose education all the wisdom of Egypt had been +exhausted, judged it very ridiculous to expose a king to the ferocity of +wild beasts in order to be married. He acknowledged that he considered +the possession of Formosanta of inestimable value; but he believed that +if the lion should strangle him, he could never wed this fair +Babylonian. The king of India held similar views to the king of Egypt. +They both concluded that the king of Babylon was laughing at them, and +that they should send for armies to punish him—that they had many +subjects who would think themselves highly honored to die in the service +of their masters, without it costing them a single hair of their sacred +heads,—that they could easily dethrone the king of Babylon, and then +they would draw lots for the fair Formosanta.</p> + +<p>This agreement being made, the two kings sent each an express into his +respective country, with orders to assemble three hundred thousand men +to carry off Formosanta.</p> + +<p>However, the king of Scythia descended alone into the arena, scimitar in +hand. He was not distractedly enamored with Formosanta's charms. Glory +till then had been his only passion, and it had led him to Babylon. He +was willing to show that if the kings of India and Egypt were so prudent +as not to tilt with lions, he was courageous enough not to decline the +combat, and he would repair the honor of diadems. His uncommon valor +would not even allow him to avail himself of the assistance of his +tiger. He advanced singly, slightly armed with a shell casque ornamented +with gold, and shaded with three horses' tails as white as snow.</p> + +<p>One of the most enormous and ferocious lions that fed upon the +Antilibanian mountains was let loose upon him. His tremendous paws +appeared capable of tearing the three kings to pieces at once, and his +gullet to devour them. The two proud champions fled with the utmost +precipitancy and in the most rapid manner to each other. The courageous +Scythian plunged his sword into the lion's mouth; but the point meeting +with one of those thick teeth that nothing can penetrate, was broken; +and the monster of the woods, more furious from his wound, had already +impressed his fearful claws into the monarch's sides.</p> + +<p>The unknown youth, touched with the peril of so brave a prince, leaped +into the arena swift as lightning, and cut off the lion's head with as +much dexterity as we have lately seen, in our carousals, youthful +knights knock off the heads of black images.</p> + +<p>Then drawing out a small box, he presented it to the Scythian king, +saying to him.</p> + +<p>"Your majesty will here find the genuine dittany, which grows in my +country. Your glorious wounds will be healed in a moment. Accident alone +prevented your triumph over the lion. Your valor is not the less to be +admired."</p> + +<p>The Scythian king, animated more with gratitude than jealousy, thanked +his benefactor; and, after having tenderly embraced him, returned to his +seat to apply the dittany to his wounds.</p> + +<p>The stranger gave the lion's head to his valet, who, having washed it at +the great fountain which was beneath the amphitheatre, and drained all +the blood, took an iron instrument out of his little bag, with which +having drawn the lion's forty teeth, he supplied their place with forty +diamonds of equal size.</p> + +<p>His master, with his usual modesty, returned to his place; he gave the +lion's head to his bird:—"Beauteous bird," said he, "carry this small +homage, and lay it at the feet of Formosanta."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 360px;"> +<a name="The_unknown_youth" id="The_unknown_youth"></a> +<img src="images/img_033_unknown_youth.jpg" width="360" alt=""The unknown youth, touched with the peril of so brave a +prince, leaped into the arena swift as lightning, and cut off the lion's +head."" title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">"The unknown youth, touched with the peril of so brave a +prince, leaped into the arena swift as lightning, and cut off the lion's +head."</span> +</div> + +<p>The bird winged its way with the dreadful triumph in one of its talons, +and presented it to the princess; bending with humility his neck, and +crouching before her. The sparkling diamonds dazzled the eyes of every +beholder. Such magnificence was unknown even in superb Babylon. The +emerald, the topaz, the sapphire, and the pyrope, were as yet considered +as the most precious ornaments. Belus and the whole court were struck +with admiration. The bird which presented this present surprised them +still more. It was of the size of an eagle, but its eyes were as soft +and tender as those of the eagle are fierce and threatening. Its bill +was rose color, and seemed somewhat to resemble Formosanta's handsome +mouth. Its neck represented all the colors of Iris, but still more +striking and brilliant. Gold, in a thousand shades, glittered upon its +plumage. Its feet resembled a mixture of silver and purple. And the +tails of those beautiful birds, which have since drawn Juno's car, did +not equal the splendor of this incomparable bird.</p> + +<p>The attention, curiosity, astonishment, and ecstasy of the whole court +were divided between the jewels and the bird. It had perched upon the +balustrade between Belus and his daughter Formosanta. She petted it, +caressed it, and kissed it. It seemed to receive her attentions with a +mixture of pleasure and respect. When the princess gave the bird a kiss, +it returned the embrace, and then looked upon her with languishing eyes. +She gave it biscuits and pistachios, which it received in its +purple-silvered claw, and carried to its bill with inexpressible grace.</p> + +<p>Belus, who had attentively considered the diamonds, concluded that +scarce any one of his provinces could repay so valuable a present. He +ordered that more magnificent gifts should be prepared for the stranger +than those destined for the three monarchs, "This young man," said he, +"is doubtless son to the emperor of China; or of that part of the world +called Europe, which I have heard spoken of; or of Africa, which is said +to be in the vicinity of the kingdom of Egypt."</p> + +<p>He immediately sent his first equerry to compliment the stranger, and +ask him whether he was himself the sovereign, or son to the sovereign of +one of those empires; and why, being possessed of such surprising +treasures, he had come with nothing but his valet and a little bag?</p> + +<p>Whilst the equerry advanced toward the amphitheatre to execute his +commission, another valet arrived upon an unicorn. This valet, +addressing himself to the young man, said. "Ormar, your father is +approaching the end of his life: I am come to acquaint you with it."</p> + +<p>The stranger raised his eyes to heaven, whilst tears streamed from them, +and answered only by saying, "<i>Let us depart</i>."</p> + +<p>The equerry, after having paid Belus's compliments to the conqueror of +the lion, to the giver of the forty diamonds, and to the master of the +beautiful bird, asked the valet, "Of what kingdom was the father of this +young hero sovereign?"</p> + +<p>The valet replied:</p> + +<p>"His father is an old shepherd, who is much beloved in his district."</p> + +<p>During this conversation, the stranger had already mounted his unicorn. +He said to the equerry:</p> + +<p>"My lord, vouchsafe to prostrate me at the feet of King Belus and his +daughter. I must entreat her to take particular care of the bird I leave +with her, as it is a nonpareil like herself."</p> + +<p>In uttering these last words he set off, and flew like lightning. The +two valets followed him, and in an instant he was out of sight.</p> + +<p>Formosanta could not refrain from shrieking. The bird, turning toward +the amphitheatre where his master had been seated, seemed greatly +afflicted to find him gone; then viewing steadfastly the princess, and +gently rubbing her beautiful hand with his bill, he seemed to devote +himself to her service.</p> + +<p>Belus, more astonished than ever, hearing that this very extraordinary +young man was the son of a shepherd, could not believe it. He dispatched +messengers after him; but they soon returned with the information, that +the three unicorns, upon which these men were mounted, could not be +overtaken; and that, according to the rate they went, they must go a +hundred leagues a day.</p> + +<p>Every one reasoned upon this strange adventure, and wearied themselves +with conjectures. How can the son of a shepherd make a present of forty +large diamonds? How comes it that he is mounted upon an unicorn? This +bewildered them, and Formosanta, whilst she caressed her bird, was sunk +into a profound reverie.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_20" id="Footnote_1_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_20"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The phœnix—born of myth and fable—was supposed to have +originated in Arabia. In size it resembled an eagle, and was said to +exist singly. At the end of six hundred years, it built for itself a +nest filled with myrrh and the choicest spices. This was ignited by the +ardent rays of the sun, and in it the phœnix was consumed in flames +of fragrance. It was believed, however, that it soon rose again, from +its own ashes, in renewed youth, strength, and beauty; and therefore it +was considered by the ancients as symbolical of "the resurrection" and +also of immortality.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIa" id="IIa"></a>II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE KING OF BABYLON CONVENES HIS COUNCIL, AND CONSULTS THE ORACLE.</span></h4> + + +<p>Princess Aldea, Formosanta's cousin-german, who was very well shaped, +and almost as handsome as the King's daughter, said to her:</p> + +<p>"Cousin, I know not whether this demi-god be the son of a shepherd, but +methinks he has fulfilled all the conditions stipulated for your +marriage. He has bent Nimrod's bow; he has conquered the lion; he has a +good share of sense, having written for you extempore a very pretty +madrigal. After having presented you with forty large diamonds, you +cannot deny that he is the most generous of men. In his bird he +possessed the most curious thing upon earth. His virtue cannot be +equaled, since he departed without hesitation as soon as he learned his +father was ill, though he might have remained and enjoyed the pleasure +of your society. The oracle is fulfilled in every particular, except +that wherein he is to overcome his rivals. But he has done more; he has +saved the life of the only competitor he had to fear; and when the +object is to surpass the other two, I believe you cannot doubt but that +he will easily succeed."</p> + +<p>"All that you say is very true," replied Formosanta: "but is it possible +that the greatest of men, and perhaps the most amiable too, should be +the son of a shepherd?"</p> + +<p>The lady of honor, joining in the conversation, said that the title of +shepherd was frequently given to kings—that they were called shepherds +because they attended very closely to their flocks—that this was +doubtless a piece of ill-timed pleasantry in his valet—that this young +hero had not come so badly equipped, but to show how much his personal +merit alone was above the fastidious parade of kings. The princess made +no answer, but in giving her bird a thousand tender kisses.</p> + +<p>A great festival was nevertheless prepared for the three kings, and for +all the princes who had come to the feast. The king's daughter and niece +were to do the honors. The king distributed presents worthy the +magnificence of Babylon. Belus, during the time the repast was being +served, assembled his council to discuss the marriage of the beautiful +Formosanta, and this is the way he delivered himself as a great +politician:</p> + +<p>"I am old: I know not what is best to do with my daughter, or upon whom +to bestow her. He who deserves her is nothing but a mean shepherd. The +kings of India and Egypt are cowards. The king of the Scythians would be +very agreeable to me, but he has not performed any one of the conditions +imposed. I will again consult the oracle. In the meantime, deliberate +among you, and we will conclude agreeably to what the oracle says; for a +king should follow nothing but the dictates of the immortal gods."</p> + +<p>He then repaired to the temple: the oracle answered in few words +according to custom: <i>Thy daughter shall not be married until she hath +traversed the globe</i>. In astonishment, Belus returned to the council, +and related this answer.</p> + +<p>All the ministers had a profound respect for oracles. They therefore all +agreed, or at least appeared to agree, that they were the foundation of +religion—that reason should be mute before them—that it was by their +means that kings reigned over their people—that without oracles there +would be neither virtue nor repose upon earth.</p> + +<p>At length, after having testified the most profound veneration for them, +they almost all concluded that this oracle was impertinent, and should +not be obeyed—that nothing could be more indecent for a young woman, +and particularly the daughter of the great king of Babylon, than to run +about, without any particular destination—that this was the most +certain method to prevent her being married, or else engage her in a +clandestine, shameful, and ridiculous union that,—in a word, this +oracle had not common sense.</p> + +<p>The youngest of the ministers, named Onadase, who had more sense than +the rest, said that the oracle doubtless meant some pilgrimage of +devotion, and offered to be the princess's guide. The council approved +of his opinion, but every one was for being her equerry. The king +determined that the princess might go three hundred parasangs upon the +road to Arabia, to the temple whose saint had the reputation of +procuring young women happy marriages, and that the dean of the council +should accompany her. After this determination they went to supper.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 373px;"> +<a name="The_shrine_at_Bassora" id="The_shrine_at_Bassora"></a> +<img src="images/img_034_shrine_bassora.jpg" width="373" alt="THE SHRINE AT BASSORA.—A devotee at the shrine imploring +the felicity of a happy marriage." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The shrine at Bassora.—A devotee at the shrine imploring +the felicity of a happy marriage.</span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIIa" id="IIIa"></a>III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">ROYAL FESTIVAL GIVEN IN HONOR OF THE KINGLY VISITORS. THE BIRD CONVERSES +ELOQUENTLY WITH FORMOSANTA.</span></h4> + + +<p>In the centre of the gardens, between two cascades, an oval saloon, +three hundred feet in diameter was erected, whose azure roof, +intersected with golden stars, represented all the constellations and +planets, each in its proper station; and this ceiling turned about, as +well as the canopy, by machines as invisible as those which direct the +celestial spheres. A hundred thousand flambeaux, inclosed in rich +crystal cylinders, illuminated the gardens and the dining-hall. A +buffet, with steps, contained twenty thousand vases and golden dishes; +and opposite the buffet, upon other steps, were seated a great number of +musicians. Two other amphitheatres were decked out; the one with the +fruits of each season, the other with crystal decanters, that sparkled +with the choicest wines.</p> + +<p>The guests took their seats round a table divided into compartments that +resembled flowers and fruits, all in precious stones. The beautiful +Formosanta was placed between the kings of India and Egypt—the amiable +Aldea next the king of Scythia. There were about thirty princes, and +each was seated next one of the handsomest ladies of the court. The king +of Babylon, who was in the middle, opposite his daughter, seemed divided +between the chagrin of being yet unable to effect her marriage, and the +pleasure of still beholding her. Formosanta asked leave to place her +bird upon the table next her; the king approved of it.</p> + +<p>The music, which continued during the repast, furnished every prince +with an opportunity of conversing with his female neighbor. The festival +was as agreeable as it was magnificent. A ragout was served before +Formosanta, which her father was very fond of. The princess said it +should be carried to his majesty. The bird immediately took hold of it, +and carried it in a miraculous manner to the king. Never was any thing +more astonishing witnessed. Belus caressed it as much as his daughter +had done. The bird afterward took its flight to return to her. It +displayed, in flying, so fine a tail, and its extended wings set forth +such a variety of brilliant colors—the gold of its plumage made such a +dazzling eclat, that all eyes were fixed upon it. All the musicians were +struck motionless, and their instruments afforded harmony no longer. +None ate, no one spoke, nothing but a buzzing of admiration was to be +heard. The Princess of Babylon kissed it during the whole supper, +without considering whether there were any kings in the world. Those of +India and Egypt felt their spite and indignation rekindle with double +force, and they resolved speedily to set their three hundred thousand +men in motion to obtain revenge.</p> + +<p>As for the king of Scythia, he was engaged in entertaining the beautiful +Aldea. His haughty soul despising, without malice, Formosanta's +inattention, had conceived for her more indifference than resentment. +"She is handsome," said he, "I acknowledge: but she appears to me one of +those women who are entirely taken up with their own beauty, and who +fancy that mankind are greatly obliged to them when they deign to appear +in public. I should prefer an ugly complaisant woman, that exhibited +some amiability, to that beautiful statue. You have, madam, as many +charms as she possesses, and you, at least, condescend to converse with +strangers. I acknowledge to you with the sincerity of a Scythian, that I +prefer you to your cousin."</p> + +<p>He was, however, mistaken in regard to the character of Formosanta. She +was not so disdainful as she appeared. But his compliments were very +well received by the princess Aldea. Their conversation became very +interesting. They were well contented, and already certain of one +another before they left the table. After supper the guests walked in +the groves. The king of Scythia and Aldea did not fail to seek for a +place of retreat. Aldea, who was sincerity itself, thus declared herself +to the prince:</p> + +<p>"I do not hate my cousin, though she be handsomer than myself, and is +destined for the throne of Babylon. The honor of pleasing you may very +well stand in the stead of charms. I prefer Scythia with you, to the +crown of Babylon without you. But this crown belongs to me by right, if +there be any right in the world; for I am of the elder branch of the +Nimrod family, and Formosanta is only of the younger. Her grandfather +dethroned mine, and put him to death."</p> + +<p>"Such, then, are the rights of inheritance in the royal house of +Babylon!" said the Scythian. "What was your grandfather's name?"</p> + +<p>"He was called Aldea, like me. My father bore the same name. He was +banished to the extremity of the empire with my mother; and Belus, after +their death, having nothing to fear from me, was willing to bring me up +with his daughter. But he has resolved that I shall never marry."</p> + +<p>"I will avenge the cause of your grandfather—of your father and also +your own cause," said the king of Scythia. "I am responsible for your +being married. I will carry you off the day after to-morrow by +day-break—for we must dine to-morrow with the king of Babylon—and I +will return and support your rights with three hundred thousand men."</p> + +<p>"I agree to it," said the beauteous Aldea: and, after having mutually +pledged their words of honor, they separated.</p> + +<p>The incomparable Formosanta, before retiring to rest, had ordered a +small orange tree, in a silver case, to be placed by the side of her +bed, that her bird might perch upon it. Her curtains had long been +drawn, but she was not in the least disposed to sleep. Her heart was +agitated, and her imagination excited. The charming stranger was ever in +her thoughts. She fancied she saw him shooting an arrow with Nimrod's +bow. She contemplated him in the act of cutting off the lion's head. She +repeated his madrigal. At length, she saw him retiring from the crowd +upon his unicorn. Tears, sighs, and lamentations overwhelmed her at this +reflection. At intervals, she cried out: "Shall I then never see him +more? Will he never return?"</p> + +<p>"He will surely return," replied the bird from the top of the orange +tree. "Can one have seen you once, and not desire to see you again?"</p> + +<p>"Heavens! eternal powers! my bird speaks the purest Chaldean." In +uttering these words she drew back the curtain, put out her hand to him, +and knelt upon her bed, saying:</p> + +<p>"Art thou a god descended upon earth? Art thou the great Oromasdes +concealed under this beautiful plumage? If thou art, restore me this +charming young man."</p> + +<p>"I am nothing but a winged animal," replied the bird; "but I was born at +the time when all animals still spoke; when birds, serpents, asses, +horses, and griffins, conversed familiarly with man. I would not speak +before company, lest your ladies of honor should have taken me for a +sorcerer. I would not discover myself to any but you."</p> + +<p>Formosanta was speechless, bewildered, and intoxicated with so many +wonders. Desirous of putting a hundred questions to him at once, she at +length asked him how old he was.</p> + +<p>"Only twenty-seven thousand nine hundred years and six months. I date my +age from the little revolution of the equinoxes, and which is +accomplished in about twenty-eight thousand of your years. There are +revolutions of a much greater extent, so are there beings much older +than me. It is twenty-two thousand years since I learnt Chaldean in one +of my travels. I have always had a very great taste for the Chaldean +language, but my brethren, the other animals, have renounced speaking in +your climate."</p> + +<p>"And why so, my divine bird?"</p> + +<p>"Alas! because men have accustomed themselves to eat us, instead of +conversing and instructing themselves with us. Barbarians! should they +not have been convinced, that having the same organs with them, the same +sentiments, the same wants, the same desires, we have also what is +called a soul, the same as themselves;—that we are their brothers, and +that none should be dressed and eaten but the wicked? We are so far your +brothers, that the Supreme Being, the Omnipotent and Eternal Being, +having made a compact with men, expressly comprehended us in the treaty. +He forbade you to nourish yourselves with our blood, and we to suck +yours.</p> + +<p>"The fables of your ancient Locman, translated into so many languages, +will be a testimony eternally subsisting of the happy commerce you +formerly carried on with us. They all begin with these words: 'In the +time when beasts spoke.' It is true, there are many families among you +who keep up an incessant conversation with their dogs; but the dogs have +resolved not to answer, since they have been compelled by whipping to go +a hunting, and become accomplices in the murder of our ancient and +common friends, stags, deers, hares, and partridges.</p> + +<p>"You have still some ancient poems in which horses speak, and your +coachmen daily address them in words; but in so barbarous a manner, and +in uttering such infamous expressions, that horses, though formerly +entertaining so great a kindness for you, now detest you.</p> + +<p>"The country which is the residence of your charming stranger, the most +perfect of men, is the only one in which your species has continued to +love ours, and to converse with us; and this is the only country in the +world where men are just."</p> + +<p>"And where is the country of my dear incognito? What is the name of his +empire? For I will no more believe he is a shepherd than that you are a +bat."</p> + +<p>"His country, is that of the Gangarids, a wise, virtuous, and invincible +people, who inhabit the eastern shore of the Ganges. The name of my +friend is Amazan. He is no king; and I know not whether he would so +humble himself as to be one. He has too great a love for his fellow +countrymen. He is a shepherd like them. But do not imagine that those +shepherds resemble yours; who, covered with rags and tatters, watch +their sheep, who are better clad than themselves; who groan under the +burden of poverty, and who pay to an extortioner half the miserable +stipend of wages which they receive from their masters. The Gangaridian +shepherds are all born equal, and own the innumerable herds which cover +their vast fields and subsist on the abundant verdure. These flocks are +never killed. It is a horrid crime, in that favored country, to kill and +eat a fellow creature. Their wool is finer and more brilliant than the +finest silk, and constitutes the greatest traffic of the East. Besides, +the land of the Gangarids produces all that can flatter the desires of +man. Those large diamonds that Amazan had the honor of presenting you +with, are from a mine that belongs to him. An unicorn, on which you saw +him mounted, is the usual animal the Gangarids ride upon. It is the +finest, the proudest, most terrible, and at the same time most gentle +animal that ornaments the earth. A hundred Gangarids, with as many +unicorns,<a name="FNanchor_1_21" id="FNanchor_1_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_21" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> would be sufficient to disperse innumerable armies. Two +centuries ago, a king of India was mad enough to attempt to conquer +this nation. He appeared, followed by ten thousand elephants and a +million of warriors. The unicorns pierced the elephants, just as I have +seen upon your table beads pierced in golden brochets. The warriors fell +under the sabres of the Gangarids like crops of rice mowed by the people +of the East. The king was taken prisoner, with upwards of six thousand +men. He was bathed in the salutary water of the Ganges, and followed the +regimen of the country, which consists only of vegetables, of which +nature hath there been amazingly liberal to nourish every breathing +creature. Men who are fed with carnivorous aliments, and drenched with +spirituous liquors, have a sharp adust blood, which turns their brains a +hundred different ways. Their chief rage is a fury to spill their +brother's blood, and, laying waste fertile plains, to reign over +church-yards. Six full months were taken up in curing the king of India +of his disorder. When the physicians judged that his pulse had become +natural, they certified this to the council of the Gangarids. The +council then followed the advice of the unicorns and humanely sent back +the king of India, his silly court, and impotent warriors, to their own +country. This lesson made them wise, and from that time the Indians +respected the Gangarids, as ignorant men, willing to be instructed, +revere the philosophers they cannot equal.</p> + +<p>"Apropos, my dear bird," said the princess to him, "do the Gangarids +profess any religion? have they one?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, we meet to return thanks to God on the days of the full moon; the +men in a great temple made of cedar, and the women in another, to +prevent their devotion being diverted. All the birds assemble in a +grove, and the quadrupeds on a fine down. We thank God for all the +benefits he has bestowed upon us. We have in particular some parrots +<i>that preach wonderfully well</i>.</p> + +<p>"Such is the country of my dear Amazan; there I reside. My friendship +for him is as great as the love with which he has inspired you. If you +will credit me, we will set out together, and you shall pay him a +visit."</p> + +<p>"Really, my dear bird, this is a very pretty invitation of yours," +replied the princess smiling, and who flamed with desire to undertake +the journey, but did not dare say so.</p> + +<p>"I serve my friend," said the bird; "and, after the happiness of loving +you, the greatest pleasure is to assist you."</p> + +<p>Formosanta was quite fascinated. She fancied herself transported from +earth. All she had seen that day, all she then saw, all she heard, and +particularly what she felt in her heart, so ravished her as far to +surpass what those fortunate Mussulmen now feel, who, disencumbered from +their terrestrial ties, find themselves in the ninth heaven in the arms +of their Houris, surrounded and penetrated with glory and celestial +felicity.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_21" id="Footnote_1_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_21"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Pliny, the Roman naturalist, describes the unicorn as "a +very ferocious beast, similar in the rest of its body to a horse, with +the head of a deer, the feet of an elephant, the tail of a boar, a deep +bellowing voice, and a single black horn, two cubits in length, standing +out in the middle of its forehead." A familiar representation of this +"ferocious beast" may be seen on the English coat of arms.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IVa" id="IVa"></a>IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE BEAUTIFUL BIRD IS KILLED BY THE KING OF EGYPT. FORMOSANTA BEGINS A +JOURNEY. ALDEA ELOPES WITH THE KING OF SCYTHIA.</span></h4> + + +<p>Formosanta passed the whole night in speaking of Amazan. She no longer +called him any thing but her shepherd; and from this time it was that +the names of shepherd and lover were indiscriminately used throughout +every nation.</p> + +<p>Sometimes she asked the bird whether Amazan had had any other +mistresses. It answered, "No," and she was at the summit of felicity. +Sometimes she asked how he passed his life; and she, with transport, +learned, that it was employed in doing good; in cultivating arts, in +penetrating into the secrets of nature, and improving himself. She at +times wanted to know if the soul of her lover was of the same nature as +that of her bird; how it happened that it had lived twenty thousand +years, when her lover was not above eighteen or nineteen. She put a +hundred such questions, to which the bird replied with such discretion +as excited her curiosity. At length sleep closed their eyes, and yielded +up Formosanta to the sweet delusion of dreams sent by the gods, which +sometimes surpass reality itself, and which all the philosophy of the +Chaldeans can scarce explain.</p> + +<p>Formosanta did not awaken till very late. The day was far advanced when +the king, her father, entered her chamber. The bird received his majesty +with respectful politeness, went before him, fluttered his wings, +stretched his neck, and then replaced himself upon his orange tree. The +king seated himself upon his daughter's bed, whose dreams had made her +still more beautiful. His large beard approached her lovely face, and +after having embraced her, he spoke to her in these words:</p> + +<p>"My dear daughter, you could not yesterday find a husband agreeable to +my wishes; you nevertheless must marry; the prosperity of my empire +requires it. I have consulted the oracle, which you know never errs, and +which directs all my conduct. His commands are, that you should traverse +the globe. You must therefore begin your journey."</p> + +<p>"Ah! doubtless to the Gangarids," said the princess; and in uttering +these words, which escaped her, she was sensible of her indiscretion. +The king, who was utterly ignorant of geography, asked her what she +meant by the Gangarids? She easily diverted the question. The king told +her she must go on a pilgrimage, that he had appointed the persons who +were to attend her—the dean of the counsellors of state, the high +almoner, a lady of honor, a physician, an apothecary, her bird, and all +necessary domestics.</p> + +<p>Formosanta, who had never been out of her father's palace, and who, till +the arrival of the three kings and Amazan, had led a very insipid life, +according to the <i>etiquette</i> of rank and the parade of pleasure, was +charmed at setting out upon a pilgrimage. "Who knows," said she, +whispering to her heart, "if the gods may not inspire Amazan with the +like desire of going to the same chapel, and I may have the happiness of +again seeing the pilgrim?" She affectionately thanked her father, saying +she had always entertained a secret devotion for the saint she was going +to visit.</p> + +<p>Belus gave an excellent dinner to his guests, who were all men. They +formed a very ill assorted company—kings, ministers, princes, +pontiffs—all jealous of each other; all weighing their words, and +equally embarassed with their neighbors and themselves. The repast was +very gloomy, though they drank pretty freely. The princesses remained in +their apartments, each meditating upon her respective journey. They +dined at their little cover. Formosanta afterward walked in the gardens +with her dear bird, which, to amuse her, flew from tree to tree, +displaying his superb tail and divine plumage.</p> + +<p>The king of Egypt, who was heated with wine, not to say drunk, asked one +of his pages for a bow and arrow. This prince was, in truth, the most +unskillful archer in his whole kingdom. When he shot at a mark, the +place of the greatest safety was generally the spot he aimed at. But the +beautiful bird, flying as swiftly as the arrow, seemed to court it, and +fell bleeding in the arms of Formosanta. The Egyptian, bursting into a +foolish laugh, retired to his place. The princess rent the skies with +her moans, melted into tears, tore her hair, and beat her breast. The +dying bird said to her, in a low voice:</p> + +<p>"Burn me, and fail not to carry my ashes to the east of the ancient city +of Aden or Eden, and expose them to the sun upon a little pile of cloves +and cinnamon." After having uttered these words it expired. Formosanta +was for a long time in a swoon, and revived again only to burst into +sighs and groans. Her father, partaking of her grief, and imprecating +the king of Egypt, did not doubt but this accident foretold some fatal +event. He immediately went to consult the oracle, which replied: <i>A +mixture of everything—life and death, infidelity and constancy, loss +and gain, calamities and good fortune</i>. Neither he nor his council could +comprehend any meaning in this reply; but, at length, he was satisfied +with having fulfilled the duties of devotion.</p> + +<p>His daughter was bathed in tears, whilst he consulted the oracle. She +paid the funeral obsequies to the bird, which it had directed, and +resolved to carry its remains into Arabia at the risk of her life. It +was burned in incombustible flax, with the orange-tree on which it used +to perch. She gathered up the ashes in a little golden vase, set with +rubies, and the diamonds taken from the lion's mouth. Oh! that she +could, instead of fulfilling this melancholy duty, have burned alive the +detestable king of Egypt! This was her sole wish. She, in spite, put to +death the two crocodiles, his two sea horses, his two zebras, his two +rats, and had his two mummies thrown into the Euphrates. Had she +possessed his bull Apis, she would not have spared him.</p> + +<p>The king of Egypt, enraged at this affront, set out immediately to +forward his three hundred thousand men. The king of India, seeing his +ally depart, set off also on the same day, with a firm intention of +joining his three hundred thousand Indians to the Egyptian army, the +king of Scythia decamped in the night with the princess Aldea, fully +resolved to fight for her at the head of three hundred thousand +Scythians, and to restore to her the inheritance of Babylon, which was +her right, as she had descended from the elder branch of the Nimrod +family.</p> + +<p>As for the beautiful Formosanta, she set out at three in the morning +with her caravan of pilgrims, flattering herself that she might go into +Arabia, and execute the last will of her bird; and that the justice of +the gods would restore her the dear Amazan, without whom life had become +insupportable.</p> + +<p>When the king of Babylon awoke, he found all the company gone.</p> + +<p>"How mighty festivals terminate," said he; "and what a surprising vacuum +they leave when the hurry is over."</p> + +<p>But he was transported with a rage truly royal, when he found that the +princess Aldea had been carried off. He ordered all his ministers to be +called up, and the council to be convened. Whilst they were dressing, he +failed not to consult the oracle; but the only answer he could obtain +was in these words, so celebrated since throughout the universe: <i>When +girls are not provided for in marriage by their relatives, they marry +themselves</i>.</p> + +<p>Orders were immediately issued to march three hundred thousand men +against the king of Scythia. Thus was the torch of a most dreadful war +lighted up, which was caused by the amusements of the finest festival +ever given upon earth. Asia was upon the point of being over-run by four +armies of three hundred thousand men each. It is plain that the war of +Troy, which astonished the world some ages after, was mere child's play +in comparison to this; but it should also be considered, that in the +Trojans quarrel, the object was nothing more than a very immoral old +woman, who had contrived to be twice run away with; whereas, in this +case, the cause was tripartite—two girls and a bird.</p> + +<p>The king of India went to meet his army upon the large fine road which +then led straight to Babylon, at Cachemir. The king of Scythia flew with +Aldea by the fine road which led to Mount Imaus. Owing to bad +government, all these fine roads have disappeared in the lapse of time. +The king of Egypt had marched to the west, along the coast of the little +Mediterranean sea, which the ignorant Hebrews have since called the +Great Sea.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 607px;"> +<a name="Consulting_the_oracle" id="Consulting_the_oracle"></a> +<img src="images/img_035_the_oracle.jpg" width="607" alt="Consulting the oracle." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Consulting the oracle.</span> +</div> + +<p>As to the charming Formosanta, she pursued the road to Bassora, planted +with lofty palm trees, which furnished a perpetual shade, and fruit at +all seasons. The temple in which she was to perform her devotions, was +in Bassora itself. The saint to whom this temple had been dedicated, was +somewhat in the style of him who was afterward adored at Lampsacus, and +was generally successful in procuring husbands for young ladies. Indeed, +he was the holiest saint in all Asia.</p> + +<p>Formosanta had no sort of inclination for the saint of Bassora. She only +invoked her dear Gangaridian shepherd, her charming Amazan. She proposed +embarking at Bassora, and landing in Arabia Felix, to perform what her +deceased bird had commanded.</p> + +<p>At the third stage, scarce had she entered into a fine inn, where her +harbingers had made all the necessary preparations for her, when she +learned that the king of Egypt had arrived there also. Informed by his +emissaries of the princess's route, he immediately altered his course, +followed by a numerous escort. Having alighted, he placed sentinels at +all the doors; then repaired to the beautiful Formosanta's apartment, +when he addressed her by saying:</p> + +<p>"Miss, you are the lady I was in quest of. You paid me very little +attention when I was at Babylon. It is just to punish scornful +capricious women. You will, if you please, be kind enough to sup with me +to-night; and I shall behave to you according as I am satisfied with +you."</p> + +<p>Formosanta saw very well that she was not the strongest. She judged that +good sense consisted in knowing how to conform to one's situation. She +resolved to get rid of the king of Egypt by an innocent stratagem. She +looked at him through the corners of her eyes, (which in after ages has +been called ogling,) and then she spoke to him, with a modesty, grace, +and sweetness, a confusion, and a thousand other charms, which would +have made the wisest man a fool, and deceived the most discerning:</p> + +<p>"I acknowledge, sir, I always appeared with a downcast look, when you +did the king, my father, the honor of visiting him. I had some +apprehensions for my heart. I dreaded my too great simplicity. I +trembled lest my father and your rivals should observe the preference I +gave you, and which you so highly deserved. I can now declare my +sentiments. I swear by the bull Apis, which after you is the thing I +respect the most in the world, that your proposals have enchanted me. I +have already supped with you at my father's, and I will sup with you +again, without his being of the party. All that I request of you is, +that your high almoner should drink with us. He appeared to me at +Babylon to be an excellent guest. I have some Chiras wine remarkably +good. I will make you both taste it. I consider you as the greatest of +kings, and the most amiable of men."</p> + +<p>This discourse turned the king of Egypt's head. He agreed to have the +almoner's company.</p> + +<p>"I have another favor to ask of you," said the princess, "which is to +allow me to speak to my apothecary. Women have always some little ails +that require attention, such as vapors in the head, palpitations of the +heart, colics, and the like, which often require some assistance. In a +word, I at present stand in need of my apothecary, and I hope you will +not refuse me this slight testimony of confidence."</p> + +<p>"Miss," replied the king of Egypt, "I know life too well to refuse you +so just a demand. I will order the apothecary to attend you whilst +supper is preparing. I imagine you must be somewhat fatigued by the +journey; you will also have occasion for a chambermaid; you may order +her you like best to attend you. I will afterward wait your commands and +convenience."</p> + +<p>He then retired, and the apothecary and the chambermaid, named Irla, +entered. The princess had an entire confidence in her. She ordered her +to bring six bottles of Chiras wine for supper, and to make all the +sentinels, who had her officers under arrest, drink the same. Then she +recommended her apothecary to infuse in all the bottles certain +pharmaceutic drugs, which make those who take them sleep twenty-four +hours, and with which he was always provided. She was implicitly obeyed. +The king returned with his high almoner in about half an hour's time. +The conversation at supper was very gay. The king and the priest emptied +the six bottles, and acknowledged there was not such good wine in +Egypt. The chambermaid was attentive to make the servants in waiting +drink. As for the princess, she took great care not to drink any +herself, saying that she was ordered by her physician a particular +regimen. They were all presently asleep.</p> + +<p>The king of Egypt's almoner had one of the finest beards that a man of +his rank could wear. Formosanta lopped it off very skillfully; then +sewing it to a ribbon, she put it on her own chin. She then dressed +herself in the priest's robes, and decked herself in all the marks of +his dignity, and her waiting maid clad herself like the sacristan of the +goddess Isis. At length, having furnished herself with his urn and +jewels, she set out from the inn amidst the sentinels, who were asleep +like their master. Her attendant had taken care to have two horses ready +at the door. The princess could not take with her any of the officers of +her train. They would have been stopped by the great guard.</p> + +<p>Formosanta and Irla passed through several ranks of soldiers, who, +taking the princess for the high priest, called her, "My most Reverend +Father in God," and asked his blessing. The two fugitives arrived in +twenty-four hours at Bassora, before the king awoke. They then threw off +their disguise, which might have created some suspicion. They fitted out +with all possible expedition a ship, which carried them, by the Straits +of Ormus, to the beautiful banks of Eden in Arabia Felix. This was that +Eden, whose gardens were so famous, that they have since been the +residence of the best of mankind. They were the model of the Elysian +fields, the gardens of the Hesperides, and also those of the Fortunate +Islands. In those warm climates men imagined there could be no greater +felicity than shades and murmuring brooks. To live eternally in heaven +with the Supreme Being, or to walk in the garden of paradise, was the +same thing to those who incessantly spoke without understanding one +another, and who could scarce have any distinct ideas or just +expressions.</p> + +<p>As soon as the princess found herself in this land, her first care was +to pay her dear bird the funeral obsequies he had required of her. Her +beautiful hands prepared a small quantity of cloves and cinnamon. What +was her surprise, when, having spread the ashes of the bird upon this +funeral pyre, she saw it blaze of itself! All was presently consumed. +In the place of the ashes there appeared nothing but a large egg, from +whence she saw her bird issue more brilliant than ever. This was one of +the most happy moments the princess had ever experienced in her whole +life. There was but another that could ever be dearer to her; it was the +object of her wishes, but almost beyond her hopes.</p> + +<p>"I plainly see," said she, to the bird, "you are the phœnix which I +have heard so much spoken of. I am almost ready to expire with joy and +astonishment. I did not believe in your resurrection; but it is my good +fortune to be convinced of it."</p> + +<p>"Resurrection, in fact," said the phœnix to her, "is one of the most +simple things in the world. There is nothing more in being born twice +than once. Every thing in this world is the effect of resurrection. +Caterpillars are regenerated into butterflies; a kernel put into the +earth is regenerated into a tree. All animals buried in the earth +regenerate into vegetation, herbs, and plants, and nourish other +animals, of which they speedily compose part of the substance. All +particles which compose bodies are transformed into different beings. It +is true, that I am the only one to whom Oromasdes<a name="FNanchor_1_22" id="FNanchor_1_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_22" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> has granted the +favor of regenerating in my own form."</p> + +<p>Formosanta, who from the moment she first saw Amazan and the phœnix, +had passed all her time in a round of astonishment, said to him:</p> + +<p>"I can easily conceive that the Supreme Being may form out of your ashes +a phœnix nearly resembling yourself; but that you should be precisely +the same person, that you should have the same soul, is a thing, I +acknowledge, I cannot very clearly comprehend. What became of your soul +when I carried you in my pocket after your death?"</p> + +<p>"Reflect one moment! Is it not as easy for the great Oromasdes to +continue action upon a single atom of my being, as to begin afresh this +action? He had before granted me sensation, memory, and thought. He +grants them to me again. Whether he united this favor to an atom of +elementary fire, latent within me, or to the assemblage of my organs, +is, in reality, of no consequence. Men, as well as phœnixes, are +entirely ignorant how things come to pass, but the greatest favor the +Supreme Being has bestowed upon me, is to regenerate me for you. Oh! +that I may pass the twenty-eight thousand years which I have still to +live before my next resurrection, with you and my dear Amazan."</p> + +<p>"My dear phœnix, remember what you first told me at Babylon, which I +shall never forget, and which flattered me with the hope of again seeing +my dear shepherd, whom I idolize; 'we must absolutely pay the Gangarids +a visit together,' and I must carry Amazan back with me to Babylon."</p> + +<p>"This is precisely my design," said the phœnix. "There is not a +moment to lose. We must go in search of Amazan by the shortest road, +that is, through the air. There are in Arabia Felix two griffins,<a name="FNanchor_2_23" id="FNanchor_2_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_23" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> who +are my particular friends, and who live only a hundred and fifty +thousand leagues from here. I am going to write to them by the pigeon +post, and they will be here before night. We shall have time to make you +a convenient palankeen, with drawers, in which you may place your +provisions. You will be quite at your ease in this vehicle, with your +maid. These two griffins are the most vigorous of their kind. Each of +them will support one of the poles of the canopy between their claws. +But, once for all, time is very precious."</p> + +<p>He instantly went with Formosanta to order the carriage at an +upholsterer's of his acquaintance. It was made complete in four hours. +In the drawers were placed small fine loaves, biscuits superior to those +of Babylon, large lemons, pine-apples, cocoa, and pistachio nuts, Eden +wine, which is as superior to that of Chiras, as Chiras is to that of +Surinam.</p> + +<p>The two griffins arrived at Eden at the appointed time. The vehicle was +as light as it was commodious and solid, and Formosanta and Irla placed +themselves in it. The two griffins carried it off like a feather. The +phœnix sometimes flew after it, and sometimes perched upon its roof. +The two griffins winged their way toward the Ganges with the velocity of +an arrow which rends the air. They never stopped but a moment at night +for the travelers to take some refreshment, and the carriers to take a +draught of water.</p> + +<p>They at length reached the country of the Gangarids. The princess's +heart palpitated with hope, love, and joy. The phœnix stopped the +vehicle before Amazan's house; but Amazan had been absent from home +three hours, without any one knowing whither he had gone.</p> + +<p>There are no words, even in the Gangaridian language, that could express +Formosanta's extreme despair.</p> + +<p>"Alas! this is what I dreaded," said the phœnix: "the three hours +which you passed at the inn, upon the road to Bassora, with that +wretched king of Egypt, have perhaps been at the price of the happiness +of your whole life. I very much fear we have lost Amazan, without the +possibility of recovering him."</p> + +<p>He then asked the servants if he could salute the mother of Amazan? They +answered, that her husband had died only two days before, and she could +speak to no one. The phœnix, who was not without influence in the +house, introduced the princess of Babylon into a saloon, the walls of +which were covered with orange-tree wood inlaid with ivory. The inferior +shepherds and shepherdesses, who were dressed in long white garments, +with gold colored trimmings, served up, in a hundred plain porcelain +baskets, a hundred various delicacies, amongst which no disguised +carcasses were to be seen. They consisted of rice, sago, vermicelli, +macaroni, omelets, milk, eggs, cream, cheese, pastry of every kind, +vegetables, fruits, peculiarly fragrant and grateful to the taste, of +which no idea can be formed in other climates; and they were accompanied +with a profusion of refreshing liquors superior to the finest wine.</p> + +<p>Whilst the princess regaled herself, seated upon a bed of roses, four +peacocks, who were luckily mute, fanned her with their brilliant wings; +two hundred birds, one hundred shepherds and shepherdesses, warbled a +concert in two different choirs; the nightingales, thistlefinches, +linnets, chaffinches, sung the higher notes with the shepherdesses, and +the shepherds sung the tenor and bass. The princess acknowledged, that +if there was more magnificence at Babylon, nature was infinitely more +agreeable among the Gangarids; but whilst this consolatory and +voluptuous music was playing, tears flowed from her eyes, whilst she +said to the damsel Irla:</p> + +<p>"These shepherds and shepherdesses, these nightingales, these linnets, +are making love; and for my part, I am deprived of the company of the +Gangaridian hero, the worthy object of my most tender thoughts."</p> + +<p>Whilst she was taking this collation, her tears and admiration kept pace +with each other, and the phœnix addressed himself to Amazan's mother, +saying:</p> + +<p>"Madam, you cannot avoid seeing the princess of Babylon; you know—"</p> + +<p>"I know every thing," said she, "even her adventure at the inn, upon the +road to Bassora. A blackbird related the whole to me this morning; and +this cruel blackbird is the cause of my son's going mad, and leaving his +paternal abode."</p> + +<p>"You have not been informed, then, that the princess regenerated me?"</p> + +<p>"No, my dear child, the blackbird told me you were dead, and this made +me inconsolable. I was so afflicted at this loss, the death of my +husband, and the precipitate flight of my son, that I ordered my door to +be shut to every one. But since the princess of Babylon has done me the +honor of paying me a visit, I beg she may be immediately introduced. I +have matters of great importance to acquaint her with, and I choose you +should be present."</p> + +<p>She then went to meet the princess in another saloon. She could not walk +very well. This lady was about three hundred years old; but she had +still some agreeable vestiges of beauty. It might be conjectured, that +about her two hundred and fortieth, or two hundred and fiftieth year, +she must have been a most charming woman. She received Formosanta with a +respectful nobleness, blended with an air of interest and sorrow, which +made a very lively impression upon the princess.</p> + +<p>Formosanta immediately paid her the compliments of condolence upon her +husband's death.</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said the widow, "you have more reason to lament his death than +you imagine."</p> + +<p>"I am, doubtless, greatly afflicted," said Formosanta; "he was father +to—." Here a flood of tears prevented her from going on. "For his sake +only I undertook this journey, in which I have so narrowly escaped many +dangers. For him I left my father, and the most splendid court in the +universe. I was detained by a King of Egypt, whom I detest. Having +escaped from this tyrant, I have traversed the air in search of the only +man I love. When I arrive, he flies from me!" Here sighs and tears +stopped her impassioned harangue.</p> + +<p>His mother then said to her:</p> + +<p>"When the king of Egypt made you his prisoner,—when you supped with him +at an inn upon the road to Bassora,—when your beautiful hands filled +him bumpers of Chiras wine, did you observe a blackbird that flew about +the room?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, really," said the princess, "I now recollect there was such a +bird, though at that time I did not pay it the least attention. But in +collecting my ideas, I now remember well, that at the instant when the +king of Egypt rose from the table to give me a kiss, the blackbird flew +out at the window giving a loud cry, and never appeared after."</p> + +<p>"Alas! madam," resumed Amazan's mother, "this is precisely the cause of +all our misfortunes; my son had dispatched this blackbird to gain +intelligence of your health, and all that passed at Babylon. He proposed +speedily to return, throw himself at your feet, and consecrate to you +the remainder of his life. You know not to what a pitch he adores you. +All the Gangarids are both loving and faithful; but my son is the most +passionate and constant of them all. The blackbird found you at an inn, +drinking very cheerfully with the king of Egypt and a vile priest; he +afterward saw you give this monarch who had killed the phœnix,—the +man my son holds in utter detestation,—a fond embrace. The blackbird, +at the sight of this, was seized with a just indignation. He flew away +imprecating your fatal error. He returned this day, and has related +every thing. But, just heaven, at what a juncture! At the very time that +my son was deploring with me the loss of his father and that of the wise +phœnix, the very instant I had informed him that he was your cousin +german—"</p> + +<p>"Oh heavens! my cousin, madam, is it possible? How can this be? And am I +so happy as to be thus allied to him, and yet so miserable as to have +offended him?"</p> + +<p>"My son is, I tell you," said the Gangaridian lady, "your cousin, and I +shall presently convince you of it; but in becoming my relation, you rob +me of my son. He cannot survive the grief that the embrace you gave to +the king of Egypt has occasioned him."</p> + +<p>"Ah! my dear aunt," cried the beautiful Formosanta, "I swear by him and +the all-powerful Oromasdes, that this embrace, so far from being +criminal, was the strongest proof of love your son could receive from +me. I disobeyed my father for his sake. For him I went from the +Euphrates to the Ganges. Having fallen into the hands of the worthless +Pharaoh of Egypt, I could not escape his clutches but by artifice. I +call the ashes and soul of the phœnix, which were then in my pocket, +to witness. He can do me justice. But how can your son, born upon the +banks of the Ganges, be my cousin? I, whose family have reigned upon the +banks of the Euphrates for so many centuries?"</p> + +<p>"You know," said the venerable Gangaridian lady to her, "that your grand +uncle, Aldea, was king of Babylon, and that he was dethroned by Belus's +father?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, madam."</p> + +<p>"You know that this Aldea had in marriage a daughter named Aldea, +brought up in your court? It was this prince, who, being persecuted by +your father, took refuge under another name in our happy country. He +married me, and is the father of the young prince Aldea Amazan, the most +beautiful, the most courageous, the strongest, and most virtuous of +mortals; and at this hour the most unhappy. He went to the Babylonian +festival upon the credit of your beauty; since that time he idolizes +you, and now grieves because he believes that you have proved unfaithful +to him. Perhaps I shall never again set eyes upon my dear son."</p> + +<p>She then displayed to the princess all the titles of the house of Aldea. +Formosanta scarce deigned to look at them.</p> + +<p>"Ah! madam, do we examine what is the object of our desire? My heart +sufficiently believes you. But where is Aldea Amazan? Where is my +kinsman, my lover, my king? Where is my life? What road has he taken? I +will seek for him in every sphere the Eternal Being hath framed, and of +which he is the greatest ornament. I will go into the star Canope, into +Sheath, into Aldebaran; I will go and tell him of my love and convince +him of my innocence."</p> + +<p>The phœnix justified the princess with regard to the crime that was +imputed to her by the blackbird, of fondly embracing the king of Egypt; +but it was necessary to undeceive Amazan and recall him. Birds were +dispatched on every side. Unicorns sent forward in every direction. News +at length arrived that Amazan had taken the road toward China.</p> + +<p>"Well, then," said the princess, "let us set out for China. I will seek +him in defiance of both difficulty and danger. The journey is not long, +and I hope I shall bring you back your son in a fortnight at farthest."</p> + +<p>At these words tears of affection streamed from his mother's eyes and +also from those of the princess. They most tenderly embraced, in the +great sensibility of their hearts.</p> + +<p>The phœnix immediately ordered a coach with six unicorns. Amazan's +mother furnished two thousand horsemen, and made the princess, her +niece, a present of some thousands of the finest diamonds of her +country. The phœnix, afflicted at the evil occasioned by the +blackbird's indiscretion, ordered all the blackbirds to quit the +country; and from that time none have been met with upon the banks of +the Ganges.<br /><br /></p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_22" id="Footnote_1_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_22"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The god Ormuzd, (called Oromasdes by the Greeks), was +regarded by the Magi as the source of all good. His followers were in +reality worshipers of nature, and used neither temples, altars, nor +statues, but performed their simple rites on mountain tops. They adored +Oromasdes as the source of all light and purity, and regarded the sun +and fire as symbols of the divinity. They were, in the language of +Wadsworth: +</p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 9.5em;">"—zealous to reject</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Altar and Image, and the inclusive walls</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">And roofs of temples built by human hands,—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">The loftiest heights ascending,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Presented sacrifice to Moon and Stars</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">And to the Winds and mother Elements,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">And the whole circle of the Heavens, for him</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">A sensitive existence and a God."</span><br /> +</p> +<p> +Byron, in Childe Harold, contrasts the "unwalled temples," of the +worshipers of Nature, with the "idol-dwellings," where images are +adored: +</p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Not vainly did the early Persian make</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">His altar the high places and the peak</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Of earth-o'er-gazing mountains, and thus take</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">A fit and unwalled temple, there to seek</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">The Spirit, in whose honor shrines are weak,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Upreared of human hands. Come and compare</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Columns and idol-dwellings, Goth or Greek,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">With Nature's realms of worship, earth and air,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Nor fix on fond abodes to circumscribe thy prayer."</span><br /> +</p> +<p> +In Moore's Lalla Rookh will be found an exquisite sketch of the Magi, or +ancient Fire Worshipers,— +</p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"Those slaves of Fire, that morn and even</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Hal their creator's dwelling-place</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Among the living lights of heaven."—E.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_23" id="Footnote_2_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_23"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> On ancient coins and armorial bearings, the Griffin is +represented as having the head and wings of an eagle, joined to the body +and paws of a lion, thus representing strength and swiftness combined. +It was supposed to watch over mines of gold, and also whatever was +secretly hidden. It built its nest like a bird, using gold as the +material, and hence it was necessary to vigilantly guard its treasures +from the rapacity of mankind—who, says Milton, in <i>Paradise Lost</i>, "by +stealth purloined its guarded gold." The poets intimate that the chariot +of Apollo, the god of the sun, was drawn by griffins.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Va" id="Va"></a>V.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">FORMOSANTA VISITS CHINA AND SCYTHIA IN SEARCH OF AMAZAN.</span></h4> + + +<p>The unicorns, in less than eight days, carried Formosanta, Irla, and the +phœnix, to Cambalu, the capital of China. This city was larger than +that of Babylon, and in appearance quite different. These fresh objects, +these strange manners, would have amused Formosanta could any thing but +Amazan have engaged her attention.</p> + +<p>As soon as the emperor of China learned that the princess of Babylon was +at the city gates, he dispatched four thousand Mandarins in ceremonial +robes to receive her. They all prostrated themselves before her, and +presented her with an address written in golden letters upon a sheet of +purple silk. Formosanta told them, that if she were possessed of four +thousand tongues, she would not omit replying immediately to every +Mandarin; but that having only one, she hoped they would be satisfied +with her general thanks. They conducted her, in a respectful manner, to +the emperor.</p> + +<p>He was the wisest, most just and benevolent monarch upon earth. It was +he who first tilled a small field with his own imperial hands, to make +agriculture respectable to his people. Laws in all other countries were +shamefully confined to the punishment of crimes: he first allotted +premiums to virtue. This emperor had just banished from his dominions a +gang of foreign Bonzes, who had come from the extremities of the West, +with the frantic hope of compelling all China <i>to think like +themselves</i>; and who, under pretence of teaching truths, had already +acquired honors and riches. In expelling them, he delivered himself in +these words, which are recorded in the annals of the empire:</p> + +<p><i>"You may here do us much harm as you have elsewhere. You have come to +preach dogmas of intolerance, to the most tolerant nation upon earth. I +send you back, that I may never be compelled to punish you. You will be +honorably conducted to my frontiers. You will be furnished with every +thing necessary to return to the confines of the hemisphere from whence +you came. Depart in peace, if you can be at peace, and never return."</i></p> + +<p>The princess of Babylon heard with pleasure of this speech and +determination. She was the more certain of being well received at court, +as she was very far from entertaining any dogmas of intolerance. The +emperor of China, in dining with her <i>tête-à-tête</i>, had the politeness +to banish all disagreeable <i>etiquette</i>. She presented the phœnix to +him, who was gently caressed by the emperor, and who perched upon his +chair. Formosanta, toward the end of the repast, ingenuously acquainted +him with the cause of her journey, and entreated him to search for the +beautiful Amazan in the city of Cambalu; and in the meanwhile she +acquainted the emperor with her adventures, without concealing the fatal +passion with which her heart burned for this youthful hero.</p> + +<p>"He did me the honor of coming to my court," said the emperor of China. +"I was enchanted with this amiable Amazan. It is true that he is deeply +afflicted; but his graces are thereby the more affecting. Not one of my +favorites has more wit. There is not a gown Mandarin who has more +knowledge,—not a military one who has a more martial or heroic air. His +extreme youth adds an additional value to all his talents. If I were so +unfortunate, so abandoned by the Tien and Changti, as to desire to be a +conqueror, I would wish Amazan to put himself at the head of my armies, +and I should be sure of conquering the whole universe. It is a great +pity that his melancholy sometimes disconcerts him."</p> + +<p>"Ah! sir," said Formosanta, with much agitation and grief, blended with +an air of reproach, "why did you not request me to dine with him? This +is a cruel stroke you have given me. Send for him immediately, I entreat +you."</p> + +<p>"He set out this very morning," replied the emperor, "without +acquainting me with his destination."</p> + +<p>Formosanta, turning toward the phœnix, said to him:</p> + +<p>"Did you ever know so unfortunate a damsel as myself?" Then resuming the +conversation, she said:</p> + +<p>"Sir, how came he to quit in so abrupt a manner, so polite a court, in +which, methinks, one might pass one's life?"</p> + +<p>"The case was as follows," said he. "One of the most amiable of the +princesses of the blood, falling desperately in love with him, desired +to meet him at noon. He set out at day-break, leaving this billet for +my kinswoman, whom it hath cost a deluge of tears:</p> + +<blockquote><p class="block">"Beautiful princess of the mongolian race. You are deserving of a +heart that was never offered up at any other altar. I have sworn to +the immortal gods never to love any other than Formosanta, princess +of Babylon, and to teach her how to conquer one's desires in +traveling. She has had the misfortune to yield to a worthless king +of Egypt. I am the most unfortunate of men; having lost my father, +the phœnix, and the hope of being loved by Formosanta. I left my +mother in affliction, forsook my home and country, being unable to +live a moment in the place where I learned that Formosanta loved +another than me. I swore to traverse the earth, and be faithful. +You would despise me, and the gods punish me, if I violated my +oath. Choose another lover, madam, and be as faithful as I am."</p></blockquote> + +<p>"Ah! give me that miraculous letter," said the beautiful Formosanta; "it +will afford me some consolation. I am happy in the midst of my +misfortunes. Amazan loves me! Amazan, for me, renounces the society of +the princesses of China. There is no one upon earth but himself endowed +with so much fortitude. He sets me a most brilliant example. The +phœnix knows I did not stand in need of it. How cruel it is to be +deprived of one's lover for the most innocent embrace given through pure +fidelity. But, tell me, whither has he gone? What road has he taken? +Deign to inform me, and I will immediately set out."</p> + +<p>The emperor of China told her, that, according to the reports he had +received, her lover had taken the road toward Scythia. The unicorns were +immediately harnessed, and the princess, after the most tender +compliments, took leave of the emperor, and resumed her journey with the +phœnix, her chambermaid Irla, and all her train.</p> + +<p>As soon as she arrived in Scythia, she was more convinced than ever how +much men and governments differed, and would continue to differ, until +noble and enlightened minds should by degrees remove that cloud of +darkness which has covered the earth for so many ages; and until there +should be found in barbarous climes, heroic souls, who would have +strength and perseverance enough to transform brutes into men. There are +no cities in Scythia, consequently no agreeable arts. Nothing was to be +seen but extensive fields, and whole tribes whose sole habitations were +tents and chars. Such an appearance struck her with terror. Formosanta +enquired in what tent or char the king was lodged? She was informed that +he had set out eight days before with three hundred thousand cavalry to +attack the king of Babylon, whose niece, the beautiful princess Aldea, +he had carried off.</p> + +<p>"What! did he run away with my cousin?" cried Formosanta. "I could not +have imagined such an incident. What! has my cousin, who was too happy +in paying her court to me, become a queen, and I am not yet married?" +She was immediately conducted, by her desire, to the queen's tent.</p> + +<p>Their unexpected meeting in such distant climes—the uncommon +occurrences they mutually had to impart to each other, gave such charms +to this interview, as made them forget they never loved one another. +They saw each other with transport; and a soft illusion supplied the +place of real tenderness. They embraced with tears, and there was a +cordiality and frankness on each side that could not have taken place in +a palace.</p> + +<p>Aldea remembered the phœnix and the waiting maid Irla. She presented +her cousin with zibelin skins, who in return gave her diamonds. The war +between the two kings was spoken of. They deplored the fate of soldiers +who were forced into battle, the victims of the caprice of princes, when +two honest men might, perhaps, settle the dispute in less than an hour, +without a single throat being cut. But the principal topic was the +handsome stranger, who had conquered lions, given the largest diamonds +in the universe, written madrigals, and had now become the most +miserable of men from believing the statements of a blackbird.</p> + +<p>"He is my dear brother," said Aldea. "He is my lover," cried Formosanta. +"You have, doubtless, seen him. Is he still here? for, cousin, as he +knows he is your brother, he cannot have left you so abruptly as he did +the king of China.</p> + +<p>"Have I seen him? good heavens! yes. He passed four whole days with me. +Ah! cousin, how much my brother is to blame. A false report has +absolutely turned his brain. He roams about the world, without knowing +whither he is destined. Imagine to yourself his distraction of mind, +which is so great, that he has refused to meet the handsomest lady in +all Scythia. He set out yesterday, after writing her a letter which has +thrown her into despair. As for him, he has gone to visit the +Cimmerians."</p> + +<p>"God be thanked!" cried Formosanta, "another refusal in my favor. My +good fortune is beyond my hopes, as my misfortunes surpass my greatest +apprehensions. Procure me this charming letter, that I may set out and +follow him, loaded with his sacrifices. Farewell, cousin. Amazan is +among the Cimmerians, and I fly to meet him."</p> + +<p>Aldea judged that the princess, her cousin, was still more frantic than +her brother Amazan. Hut as she had herself been sensible of the effects +of this epidemic contagion, having given up the delights and +magnificence of Babylon for a king of Scythia; and as the women always +excuse those follies that are the effects of love, she felt for +Formosanta's affliction, wished her a happy journey, and promised to be +her advocate with her brother, if ever she was so fortunate as to see +him again.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIa" id="VIa"></a>VI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE PRINCESS CONTINUES HER JOURNEY.</span></h4> + + +<p>From Scythia the princess of Babylon, with her phœnix, soon arrived +at the empire of the Cimmerians, now called Russia; a country indeed +much less populous than Scythia, but of far greater extent.</p> + +<p>After a few days' journey, she entered a very large city, which has of +late been greatly improved by the reigning sovereign. The empress, +however, was not there at that time, but was making a journey through +her dominions, on the frontiers of Europe and Asia, in order to judge of +their state and condition with her own eyes,—to enquire into their +grievances, and to provide the proper remedies for them.</p> + +<p>The principal magistrate of that ancient capital, as soon as he was +informed of the arrival of the Babylonian lady and the phœnix, lost +no time in paying her all the honors of his country; being certain that +his mistress, the most polite and generous empress in the world, would +be extremely well pleased to find that he had received so illustrious a +lady with all that respect which she herself, if on the spot, would have +shown her.</p> + +<p>The princess was lodged in the palace, and entertained with great +splendor and elegance. The Cimmerian lord, who was an excellent natural +philosopher, diverted himself in conversing with the phœnix, at such +times as the princess chose to retire to her own apartment. The +phœnix told him, that he had formerly traveled among the Cimmerians, +but that he should not have known the country again.</p> + +<p>"How comes it," said he, "that such prodigious changes have been brought +about in so short a time? Formerly, when I was here, about three hundred +years ago, I saw nothing but savage nature in all her horrors. At +present, I perceive industry, arts, splendor, and politeness."</p> + +<p>"This mighty revolution," replied the Cimmerian, "was begun by one man, +and is now carried to perfection by one woman;—a woman who is a greater +legislator than the Isis of the Egyptians, or the Ceres of the Greeks. +Most law-givers have been, unhappily, of a narrow genius and an +arbitrary disposition, which conned their views to the countries they +governed. Each of them looked upon his own race as the only people +existing upon the earth, or as if they ought to be at enmity with all +the rest. They formed institutions, introduced customs, and established +religions exclusively for themselves. Thus the Egyptians, so famous for +those heaps of stones called pyramids, have dishonored themselves with +their barbarous superstitions. They despise all other nations as +profane; refuse all manner of intercourse with them; and, excepting +those conversant in the court, who now and then rise above the +prejudices of the vulgar, there is not an Egyptian who will eat off a +plate that has ever been used by a stranger. Their priests are equally +cruel and absurd. It were better to have no laws at all, and to follow +those notions of right and wrong engraven on our hearts by nature, than +to subject society to institutions so inhospitable.</p> + +<p>"Our empress has adopted quite a different system. She considers her +vast dominions, under which all the meridians on the globe are united, +as under an obligation of correspondence with all the nations dwelling +under those meridians. The first and most fundamental of her laws, is an +universal toleration of all religions, and an unbounded compassion for +every error. Her penetrating genius perceives, that though the modes of +religious worship differ, yet morality is every where the same. By this +principle, she has united her people to all the nations on earth, and +the Cimmerians will soon consider the Scandinavians and the Chinese as +their brethren. Not satisfied with this, she has resolved to establish +this invaluable toleration, the strongest link of society, among her +neighbors. By these means, she obtained the title of the parent of her +country; and, if she persevere, will acquire that of the benefactress of +mankind.</p> + +<p>"Before her time, the men, who were unhappily possessed of power, sent +out legions of murderers to ravage unknown countries, and to water with +the blood of the children the inheritance of their fathers. Those +assassins were called heroes, and their robberies accounted glorious +achievements. But our sovereign courts another sort of glory. She has +sent forth her armies to be the messengers of peace; not only to prevent +men from being the destroyers, but to oblige them to be the benefactors +of one another. Her standards are the ensigns of public tranquillity."</p> + +<p>The phœnix was quite charmed with what he heard from this nobleman. +He told him, that though he had lived twenty-seven thousand nine hundred +years and seven months in this world, he had never seen any thing like +it. He then enquired after his friend Amazan. The Cimmerian gave the +same account of him that the princess had already heard from the Chinese +and the Scythians. It was Amazan's constant practice to run away from +all the courts he visited, the instant any lady noticed him in +particular and seemed anxious to make his acquaintance. The phœnix +soon acquainted Formosanta with this fresh instance of Amazan's +fidelity—a fidelity so much the more surprising, since he could not +imagine his princess would ever hear of it.</p> + +<p>Amazan had set out for Scandinavia, where he was entertained with sights +still more surprising. In this place, he beheld monarchy and liberty +subsisting together in a manner thought incompatible in other states; +the laborers of the ground shared in the legislature with the grandees +of the realm. In another place he saw what was still more extraordinary; +a prince equally remarkable for his extreme youth and uprightness, who +possessed a sovereign authority over his country, acquired by a solemn +contract with his people.</p> + +<p>Amazan beheld a philosopher on the throne of Sarmatia, who might be +called a king of anarchy; for he was the chief of a hundred thousand +petty kings, one of whom with his single voice could render ineffectual +the resolution of all the rest. Eolus had not more difficulty to keep +the warring winds within their proper bounds, than this monarch to +reconcile the tumultuous discordant spirits of his subjects. He was the +master of a ship surrounded with eternal storms. But the vessel did not +founder, for he was an excellent pilot.</p> + +<p>In traversing those various countries, so different from his own, Amazan +persevered in rejecting all the advances made to him by the ladies, +though incessantly distracted with the embrace given by Formosanta to +the king of Egypt, being resolved to set Formosanta an amazing example +of an unshaken and unparalleled fidelity.</p> + +<p>The princess of Babylon was constantly close at his heels, and scarcely +ever missed of him but by a day or two; without the one being tired of +roaming, or the other losing a moment in pursuing him.</p> + +<p>Thus he traversed the immense continent of Germany, where he beheld with +wonder the progress which reason and philosophy had made in the north. +Even their princes were enlightened, and had become the patrons of +freedom of thought. Their education had not been trusted to men who had +an interest in deceiving them, or who were themselves deceived. They +were brought up in the knowledge of universal morality, and in the +contempt of superstition.</p> + +<p>They had banished from all their estates a senseless custom which had +enervated and depopulated the southern countries. This was to bury alive +in immense dungeons, infinite numbers of both sexes who were eternally +separated from one another, and sworn to have no communication together. +This madness had contributed more than the most cruel wars to lay waste +and depopulate the earth.</p> + +<p>In opposing these barbarous institutions, so inimical to the laws of +nature and the best interests of society, the princes of the north had +become the benefactors of their race. They had likewise exploded other +errors equally absurd and pernicious. In short, men had at last +ventured to make use of their reason in those immense regions; whereas +it was still believed almost every where else, that they could not be +governed but in proportion to their ignorance.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIIa" id="VIIa"></a>VII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">AMAZAN VISITS ALBION.</span></h4> + + +<p>From Germany, Amazan arrived at Batavia; where his perpetual chagrin was +in a good measure alleviated, by perceiving among the inhabitants a +faint resemblance to his happy countrymen, the Gangarids. There he saw +liberty, security, and equality,—with toleration in religion; but the +ladies were so indifferent, that none made him any advances; an +experience he had not met with before. It is true, however, that had he +been inclined to address them, they would not have been offended; +though, at the same time, not one would have been the least in love; but +he was far from any thoughts of making conquests.</p> + +<p>Formosanta had nearly caught him in this insipid nation. He had set out +but a moment before her arrival.</p> + +<p>Amazan had heard so much among the Batavians in praise of a certain +island called Albion, that he was led by curiosity to embark with his +unicorns on board a ship, which, with a favorable easterly wind, carried +him in a few hours to that celebrated country, more famous than Tyre, or +Atlantis.</p> + +<p>The beautiful Formosanta, who had followed him, as it were on the scent, +to the banks of the Volga, the Vistula, the Elbe, and the Weser, and had +never been above a day or two behind him, arrived soon after at the +mouth of the Rhine, where it disembogues its waters into the German +Ocean.</p> + +<p>Here she learned that her beloved Amazan had just set sail for Albion. +She thought she saw the vessel on board of which he was, and could not +help crying out for joy; at which the Batavian ladies were greatly +surprised, not imagining that a young man could possibly occasion so +violent a transport. They took, indeed, but little notice of the +phœnix, as they reckoned his feathers would not fetch near so good a +price as those of their own ducks, and other water fowl. The princess +of Babylon hired two vessels to carry herself and her retinue to that +happy island, which was soon to possess the only object of her desires, +the soul of her life, and the god of her idolatry.</p> + +<p>An unpropitious wind from the west suddenly arose, just as the faithful +and unhappy Amazan landed on Albion's sea-girt shore, and detained the +ships of the Babylonian princess just as they were on the point of +sailing. Seized with a deep melancholy, she went to her room, determined +to remain there till the wind should change; but it blew for the space +of eight days, with an unremitting violence. The princess, during this +tedious period, employed her maid of honor, Irla, in reading romances; +which were not indeed written by the Batavians; but as they are the +factors of the universe, they traffic in the wit as well as commodities +of other nations. The princess purchased of Mark Michael Rey, the +bookseller, all the novels which had been written by the Ausonians and +the Welch, the sale of which had been wisely prohibited among those +nations to enrich their neighbors, the Batavians. She expected to find +in those histories some adventure similar to her own, which might +alleviate her grief. The maid of honor read, the phœnix made +comments, and the princess, finding nothing in the <i>Fortunate Country +Maid</i>, in <i>Tansai</i>, or in the <i>Sopha</i>, that had the least resemblance to +her own affairs, interrupted the reader every moment, by asking how the +wind stood.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIIIa" id="VIIIa"></a>VIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">AMAZAN LEAVES ALBION TO VISIT THE LAND OF SATURN.</span></h4> + + +<p>In the mean time Amazan was on the road to the capital of Albion, in his +coach and six unicorns, all his thoughts employed on his dear princess. +At a small distance he perceived a carriage overturned in a ditch. The +servants had gone in different directions in quest of assistance, but +the owner kept his seat, smoking his pipe with great tranquillity, +without manifesting the smallest impatience. His name was my lord +What-then, in the language from which I translate these memoirs.</p> + +<p>Amazan made all the haste possible to help him, and without assistance +set the carriage to rights, so much was his strength superior to that of +other men. My lord What-then took no other notice of him, than saying, +"a stout fellow, by Jove!" In the meantime the neighboring people, +having arrived, flew into a great passion at being called out to no +purpose, and fell upon the stranger. They abused him, called him an +outlandish dog, and challenged him to strip and box.</p> + +<p>Amazan seized a brace of them in each hand, and threw them twenty paces +from him; the rest seeing this, pulled off their hats, and bowing with +great respect, asked his honor for something to drink. His honor gave +them more money than they had ever seen in their lives before. My lord +What-then now expressed great esteem for him, and asked him to dinner at +his country house, about three miles off. His invitation being accepted, +he went into Amazan's coach, his own being out of order from the +accident.</p> + +<p>After a quarter of an hour's silence, my lord What-then, looking upon +Amazan for a moment, said. "How d'ye do?" which, by the way, is a phrase +without any meaning, adding, "You have got six fine unicorns there." +After which he continued smoking as usual.</p> + +<p>The traveler told him his unicorns were at his service, and that he had +brought them from the country of the Gangarids. From thence he took +occasion to inform him of his affair with the princess of Babylon, and +the unlucky kiss she had given the king of Egypt; to which the other +made no reply, being very indifferent whether there were any such people +in the world, as a king of Egypt, or a princess of Babylon.</p> + +<p>He remained dumb for another quarter of an hour; after which he asked +his companion a second time how he did, and whether they had any good +roast beef among the Gangarids.</p> + +<p>Amazan answered with his wonted politeness, "that they did not eat their +brethren on the banks of the Ganges." He then explained to him that +system which many ages afterward was surnamed the Pythagorean +philosophy. But my lord fell asleep in the meantime, and made but one +nap of it till he came to his own house.</p> + +<p>He was married to a young and charming woman, on whom nature had +bestowed a soul as lively and sensible as that of her husband was dull +and stupid. A few gentlemen of Albion had that day come to dine with +her; among whom there were characters of all sorts; for that country +having been almost always under the government of foreigners, the +families that had come over with these princes had imported their +different manners. There were in this company some persons of an amiable +disposition, others of superior genius, and a few of profound learning.</p> + +<p>The mistress of the house had none of that awkward stiffness, that false +modesty, with which the young ladies of Albion were then reproached. She +did not conceal by a scornful look and an affected taciturnity, her +deficiency of ideas: and the embarrassing humility of having nothing to +say. Never was a woman more engaging. She received Amazan with a grace +and politeness that were quite natural to her. The extreme beauty of +this young stranger, and the involuntary comparison she could not help +making between him and her prosaic husband, did not increase her +happiness or content.</p> + +<p>Dinner being served, she placed Amazan at her side, and helped him to a +variety of puddings, he having informed her that the Gangarids never +dined upon any thing which had received from the gods the celestial gift +of life. The events of his early life, the manners of the Gangarids, the +progress of arts, religion, and government, were the subjects of a +conversation equally agreeable and instructive all the time of the +entertainment, which lasted till night: during which my lord What-then +did nothing but push the bottle about, and call for the toast.</p> + +<p>After dinner, while my lady was pouring out the tea, still feeding her +eyes on the young stranger, he entered into a long conversation with a +member of parliament; for every one knows that there was, even then, a +parliament called Wittenagemot, or the assembly of wise men. Amazan +enquired into the constitution, laws, manners, customs, forces, and +arts, which made this country so respectable; and the member answered +him in the following manner.</p> + +<p>"For a long time we went stark naked, though our climate is none of the +hottest. We were likewise for a long time enslaved by a people who came +from the ancient country of Saturn, watered by the Tiber. But the +mischief we have done one another has greatly exceeded all that we +ever suffered from our first conquerors. One of our princes carried his +superstition to such a pitch, as to declare himself the subject of a +priest, who dwells also on the banks of the Tiber, and is called the Old +Man of the Seven Mountains. It has been the fate of the seven mountains +to domineer over the greatest part of Europe, then inhabited by brutes +in human shape.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 560px;"> +<a name="Religious_wars_in_Albion" id="Religious_wars_in_Albion"></a> +<img src="images/img_036_religious_wars.jpg" width="560" alt="Religious wars in Albion." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Religious wars in Albion.</span> +</div> + +<p>"To those times of infamy and debasement, succeeded the ages of +barbarity and confusion. Our country, more tempestuous than the +surrounding ocean, has been ravaged and drenched in blood by our civil +discords. Many of our crowned heads have perished by a violent death. +Above a hundred princes of the royal blood have ended their days on the +scaffold, whilst the hearts of their adherents have been torn from their +breasts, and thrown in their faces. In short, it is the province of the +hangman to write the history of our island, seeing that this personage +has finally determined all our affairs of moment.</p> + +<p>"But to crown these horrors, it is not very long since some fellows +wearing black mantles, and others who cast white shirts over their +jackets, having become aggressive and intolerent, succeeded in +communicating their madness to the whole nation. Our country was then +divided into two parties, the murderers and the murdered, the +executioners and the sufferers, plunderers and slaves; and all in the +name of God, and whilst they were seeking the Lord.</p> + +<p>"Who would have imagined, that from this horrible abyss, this chaos of +dissension, cruelty, ignorance, and fanaticism, a government should at +last spring up, the most perfect, it may be said, now in the world; yet +such has been the event. A prince, honored and wealthy, all-powerful to +do good, but without power to do evil, is at the head of a free, +warlike, commercial, and enlightened nation. The nobles on one hand, and +the representatives of the people on the other, share the legislature +with the monarch.</p> + +<p>"We have seen, by a singular fatality of events, disorder, civil wars, +anarchy and wretchedness, lay waste the country, when our kings aimed at +arbitrary power: whereas tranquillity, riches, and universal happiness, +have only reigned among us, when the prince has remained satisfied with +a limited authority. All order had been subverted whilst we were +disputing about mysteries, but was re-established the moment we grew +wise enough to despise them. Our victorious fleets carry our flag on +every ocean; our laws place our lives and fortunes in security; no judge +can explain them in an arbitrary manner, and no decision is ever given +without the reasons assigned for it. We should punish a judge as an +assassin, who should condemn a citizen to death without declaring the +evidence which accused him, and the law upon which he was convicted.</p> + +<p>"It is true, there are always two parties among us, who are continually +writing and intriguing against each other, but they constantly re-unite, +whenever it is needful to arm in defence of liberty and our country. +These two parties watch over one another, and mutually prevent the +violation of the sacred <i>deposit</i> of the laws. They hate one another, +but they love the state. They are like those jealous lovers, who pay +court to the same mistress, with a spirit of emulation.</p> + +<p>"From the same fund of genius by which we discovered and supported the +natural rights of mankind, we have carried the sciences to the highest +pitch to which they can attain among men. Your Egyptians, who pass for +such great mechanics—your Indians, who are believed to be such great +philosophers—your Babylonians, who boast of having observed the stars +for the course of four hundred and thirty thousand years—the Greeks, +who have written so much, and said so little, know in reality nothing in +comparison to our inferior scholars, who have studied the discoveries of +Our great masters. We have ravished more secrets from nature in the +space of an hundred years, that the human species had been able to +discover in as many ages.</p> + +<p>"This is a true account of our present state. I have concealed from you +neither the good nor the bad; neither our shame nor our glory; and I +have exaggerated nothing."</p> + +<p>At this discourse Amazan felt a strong desire to be instructed in those +sublime sciences his friend had spoken of; and if his passion for the +princess of Babylon, his filial duty to his mother whom he had quitted, +and his love for his native country, had not made strong remonstrances +to his distempered heart, he would willingly have spent the remainder of +his life in Albion. But that unfortunate kiss his princess had given +the king of Egypt, did not leave his mind at sufficient ease to study +the abstruse sciences.</p> + +<p>"I confess," said he, "having made a solemn vow to roam about the world, +and to escape from myself. I have a curiosity to see that ancient land +of Saturn—that people of the Tiber and of the Seven Mountains, who have +been heretofore your masters. They must undoubtedly be the first people +on earth."</p> + +<p>"I advise you by all means," answered the member, "to take that journey, +if you have the smallest taste for music or painting. Even we ourselves +frequently carry our spleen and melancholy to the Seven Mountains. But +you will be greatly surprised when you see the descendants of our +conquerors."</p> + +<p>This was a long conversation, and Amazan had spoken in so agreeable a +manner; his voice was so charming; his whole behavior so noble and +engaging, that the mistress of the house could not resist the pleasure +of having a little private chat with him in her turn. She accordingly +sent him a little billet-doux intimating her wishes in the most +agreeable language. Amazan had once more the courage to resist the +fascination of female society, and, according to custom, wrote the lady +an answer full of respect,—representing to her the sacredness of his +oath, and the strict obligation he was under to teach the princess of +Babylon to conquer her passions by his example; after which he harnessed +his unicorns and departed for Batavia, leaving all the company in deep +admiration of him, and the lady in profound astonishment. In her +confusion she dropped Amazan's letter. My lord What-then read it next +morning:</p> + +<p>"D—n it," said he, shrugging up his shoulders, "what stuff and nonsense +have we got here?" and then rode out a fox hunting with some of his +drunken neighbors.</p> + +<p>Amazan was already sailing upon the sea, possessed of a geographical +chart, with which he had been presented by the learned Albion he had +conversed with at lord What-then's. He was extremely astonished to find +the greatest part of the earth upon a single sheet of paper.</p> + +<p>His eyes and imagination wandered over this little space; he observed +the Rhine, the Danube, the Alps of Tyrol, there specified under their +different names, and all the countries through which he was to pass +before he arrived at the city of the Seven Mountains. But he more +particularly fixed his eyes upon the country of the Gangarids, upon +Babylon, where he had seen his dear princess, and upon the country of +Bassora, where she had given a fatal kiss to the king of Egypt. He +sighed, and tears streamed from his eyes at the unhappy remembrance. He +agreed with the Albion who had presented him with the universe in +epitome, when he averred that the inhabitants of the banks of the Thames +were a thousand times better instructed than those upon the banks of the +Nile, the Euphrates, and the Ganges.</p> + +<p>As he returned into Batavia, Formosanta proceeded toward Albion with her +two ships at full sail. Amazan's ship and the princess's crossed one +another and almost touched; the two lovers were close to each other, +without being conscious of the fact. Ah! had they but known it! But this +great consolation tyrannic destiny would not allow.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IXa" id="IXa"></a>IX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">AMAZAN VISITS ROME.</span></h4> + + +<p>No sooner had Amazan landed on the flat muddy shore of Batavia, than he +immediately set out toward the city of the Seven Mountains. He was +obliged to traverse the southern part of Germany. At every four miles he +met with a prince and princess, maids of honor, and beggars. He was +greatly astonished every where at the coquetries of these ladies and +maids of honor, in which they indulged with German good faith. After +having cleared the Alps he embarked upon the sea of Dalmatia, and landed +in a city that had no resemblance to any thing he had heretofore seen. +The sea formed the streets, and the houses were erected in the water. +The few public places, with which this city was ornamented, were filled +with men and women with double faces—that which nature had bestowed on +them, and a pasteboard one, ill painted, with which they covered their +natural visage; so that this people seemed composed of spectres. Upon +the arrival of strangers in this country, they immediately purchase +these visages, in the same manner as people elsewhere furnish themselves +with hats and shoes. Amazan despised a fashion so contrary to nature. He +appeared just as he was.</p> + +<p>Many ladies were introduced, and interested themselves in the handsome +Amazan. But he fled with the utmost precipitancy, uttering the name of +the incomparable princess of Babylon, and swearing by the immortal gods, +that she was far handsomer than the Venetian girls.</p> + +<p>"Sublime traitoress," he cried, in his transports, "I will teach you to +be faithful!"</p> + +<p>Now the yellow surges of the Tiber, pestiferous fens, a few pale +emaciated inhabitants clothed in tatters which displayed their dry +tanned hides, appeared to his sight, and bespoke his arrival at the gate +of the city of the Seven Mountains,—that city of heroes and legislators +who conquered and polished a great part of the globe.</p> + +<p>He expected to have seen at the triumphal gate, five hundred battalions +commanded by heroes, and in the senate an assembly of demi-gods giving +laws to the earth. But the only army he found consisted of about thirty +tatterdemalions, mounting guard with umbrellas for fear of the sun. +Having arrived at a temple which appeared to him very fine, but not so +magnificent as that of Babylon, he was greatly astonished to hear a +concert performed by men with female voices.</p> + +<p>"This," said he, "is a mighty pleasant country, which was formerly the +land of Saturn. I have been in a city where no one showed his own face; +here is another where men have neither their own voices nor beards."</p> + +<p>He was told that these eunuchs had been trained from childhood, that +they might sing the more agreeably the praises of a great number of +persons of merit. Amazan could not comprehend the meaning of this.</p> + +<p>They then explained to him very pleasantly, and with many +gesticulations, according to the custom of their country, the point in +question. Amazan was quite confounded.</p> + +<p>"I have traveled a great way," said he, "but I never before heard such a +whim."</p> + +<p>After they had sung a good while, the Old Man of the Seven Mountains +went with great ceremony to the gate of the temple. He cut the air in +four parts with his thumb raised, two fingers extended and two bent, in +uttering these words in a language no longer spoken: "<i>To the city and +to the universe</i>." Amazan could not see how two fingers could extend so +far.</p> + +<p>He presently saw the whole court of the master of the world file off. +This court consisted of grave personages, some in scarlet, and others in +violet robes. They almost all eyed the handsome Amazan with a tender +look; and bowed to him, while commenting upon his personal appearance.</p> + +<p>The zealots whose vocation was to show the curiosities of the city to +strangers, very eagerly offered to conduct him to several ruins, in +which a muleteer would not choose to pass a night, but which were +formerly worthy monuments of the grandeur of a royal people. He moreover +saw pictures of two hundred years standing, and statues that had +remained twenty ages, which appeared to him masterpieces of their kind.</p> + +<p>"Can you still produce such work?" said Amazan.</p> + +<p>"No, your excellency," replied one of the zealots; "but we despise the +rest of the earth, because we preserve these rarities. We are a kind of +old clothes men, who derive our glory from the cast-off garbs in our +warehouses."</p> + +<p>Amazan was willing to see the prince's palace, and he was accordingly +conducted thither. He saw men dressed in violet colored robes, who were +reckoning the money of the revenues of the domains of lands, some +situated upon the Danube, some upon the Loire, others upon the +Guadalquivir, or the Vistula.</p> + +<p>"Oh! Oh!" said Amazan, having consulted his geographical map, "your +master, then, possesses all Europe, like those ancient heroes of the +Seven Mountains?"</p> + +<p>"He should possess the whole universe by divine right," replied a +violet-livery man; "and there was even a time when his predecessors +nearly compassed universal monarchy, but their successors are so good as +to content themselves at present with some monies which the kings, their +subjects, pay to them in the form of a tribute."</p> + +<p>"Your master is then, in fact, the king of kings. Is that his title?" +said Amazan.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 520px;"> +<a name="The_Old_Man_of_the_Seven_Mountains" id="The_Old_Man_of_the_Seven_Mountains"></a> +<img src="images/img_037_old_man.jpg" width="520" alt="The Old Man of the Seven Mountains." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The Old Man of the Seven Mountains.—"The Old Man of the +Seven Mountains went with great ceremony to the gate of the temple. He +cut the air in four parts with his thumb raised, two fingers extended +and two bent, in uttering these words in a language no longer spoken: +'<i>To the city and to the universe.</i>'"</span> +</div> + +<p>"Your excellency, his title is <i>the servant of servants</i>! He was +originally a fisherman and porter, wherefore the emblems of his dignity +consist of keys and nets; but he at present issues orders to every +king in Christendom. It is not a long while since he sent one hundred +and one mandates to a king of the Celts, and the king obeyed."<br /> +<br /></p> + + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE SERVANT OF SERVANTS.</span></h4> + +<blockquote><p class="block">The personal service of Pius IX. as it existed in 1873, without +counting Swiss gensdarmes, palatine guards, &c., is thus described +by the author of <i>The Religion of Rome</i>, page 21.</p> + +<p class="block">"The pope for his own exclusive personal service has four palatine +cardinals, three prelates and a master, ten prelates of the private +chamber, amongst whom are a cup-bearer, and a keeper of the +wardrobe; then two hundred and fifteen domestic prelates. Then +follow two hundred and forty-nine supernumerary prelates of the +private chamber, four private chamberlains of the sword and cloak, +Roman patricians, one of whom is a master of Santo Ospizto.</p> + +<p class="block">"What things are these? what service do these private chamberlains +render? what is the use of this cloak and sword? We will undertake +to say that they do not know themselves. Let us proceed. Then come +next a quarter-master major, a correspondent general of the post, +and one hundred and thirty fresh private chamberlains of the sword +and cloak! Oh! it is a labor to count them! Next come two hundred +and sixty-five honorary monsignori <i>extra urbem</i>, six honorary +chamberlains of the sword and cloak, then eight private chaplains. +What a number of <i>private</i> affairs must the pope have? Then +eighty-one honorary chaplains <i>extra urbem</i>; then—but enough, +enough, enough!</p> + +<p class="block">"No! not enough for the pope. Then come two private monsignori of +the tonsure—still private!—then eighteen supernumeraries: two +adjutants of the chamber, a private steward—again private!—then +nineteen ushers, participants, and twenty-four supernumeraries. +Then—ah! there are no more. Let us cast up those we have named; +they amount only to a bagatelle of one thousand and twenty-five +persons! And take note, that there are not included in this list +the palatine administration, and the tribunal of the majordomo, the +Swiss guards, the gensdarmes, etc., etc.</p> + +<p class="block">"If it be difficult for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of +heaven, how shall he who inhabits the Vatican enter there?—who has +treasures of all sorts, money, precious gems, precious and +countless works of art, vessels of silver and gold, and who has on +his head not one crown but three? who causes himself to be borne on +the shoulders of men; who causes them to kiss his feet; who has +millions of income, and a thousand persons to attend upon him?</p> + +<p class="block">"There is, in fact, nothing to be compared with the effrontery with +which the Vatican enacts the comedy of poverty. Yes, it has reason +to believe still in miracles; it is an actual miracle which the +Roman court works, in drawing from the pockets of the poor the +obolus necessary to buy them bread, to spend it before their faces +in Sybaritic luxury, in a palace of <i>The Thousand and One Nights</i>. +On the day of Epiphany, the Jesuits sent to the Vatican some +hundreds of women and children of the Trastevere, to carry to the +pope a gift of money. The children to succor the poverty of the +pope, who consumes on himself and household enough to maintain a +whole city, gave him the money which they had received in gifts +from their parents, and the women of the Trastevere, the few pence +that they had laid aside for the needs of their families.</p> + +<p class="block">"But what is most extraordinary is, that these women and children +who bestowed their charity on the pope, went to do it into halls +full of gold, marble, precious stones, velvet, silk, embroidery, +paintings, and statues, into the Vatican, that gigantic palace, +which occupies a space of fifteen hundred feet in length, and eight +hundred in breadth, with twenty courts, two hundred staircases, +eleven thousand rooms, galleries and halls full of treasures, and +the construction of which has cost hundreds of millions. These +children and these women passing through so much wealth never were +struck with the idea that Pius IX. ought to be something more than +a beggar; that there is no monarch in the world who has an abode +like the popes of Rome—the very sight of the gifts sent by all the +world to Pius IX. being enough to strike them dumb with +astonishment.</p> + +<p class="block">"Now these women and these children don't comprehend this, and here +is the miracle. This Pius IX. ought to go into the cottages of +these poor women and take them money, instead of their going to +carry it into the luxurious palace of the pope.</p> + +<p class="block">"The miracle becomes still greater every time that the Pope, +replying to those who bring money, talks of Jesus; for Jesus was in +a stable, not in a palace of eleven thousand rooms. Jesus would at +once have sent away the Swiss, the gensdarmes, the palatine guards, +the chamberlains private and not private, etc., and would have said +to the people of the Trastevere, and of the quarters of the poor: +'Come here into the Vatican, poor people, leave those wretched +cabins where you suffer so much; come to me; I have eleven thousand +rooms to offer you, one of which is quite enough for me, and so I +will divide these amongst those who have none.' This would have +been said by Christ, whom Pius IX. invokes so often, calling +himself His vicar or steward. But try, ye poor, to enter into the +Vatican, and you will find at once at the door a Swiss, who will +chase you away by blows of his halberd. He will let in anyone who +comes to bring money, but not a soul who comes to ask for it."—E.</p></blockquote> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>"Your fisherman must then have sent five or six hundred thousand men to +put these orders in execution?"</p> + +<p>"Not at all, your excellency. Our holy master is not rich enough to keep +ten thousand soldiers on foot: but he has five or six hundred thousand +divine prophets dispersed in other countries. These prophets of various +colors are, as they ought to be, supported at the expense of the people +where they reside. They proclaim, from heaven, that my master may, with +his keys, open and shut all locks, and particularly those of strong +boxes. A Norman priest, who held the post of confident of this king's +thoughts, convinced him he ought to obey, without questioning, the one +hundred and one thoughts of my master; for you must know that one of the +prerogatives of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains is never to err, +whether he deigns to speak or deigns to write."</p> + +<p>"In faith," said Amazan, "this is a very singular man; I should be +pleased to dine with him."</p> + +<p>"Were your excellency even a king, you could not eat at his table. All +that he could do for you, would be to allow you to have one served by +the side of his, but smaller and lower. But if you are inclined to have +the honor of speaking to him, I will ask an audience for you on +condition of the <i>buona mancia</i>, which you will be kind enough to give +me." "Very readily," said the Gangarid. The violet-livery man bowed: "I +will introduce you to-morrow," said he. "You must make three very low +bows, and you must kiss the feet of the Old Man of the Seven Mountains." +At this information Amazan burst into so violent a fit of laughing that +he was almost choked; which, however, he surmounted, holding his sides, +whilst the violent emotions of the risible muscles forced the tears down +his cheeks, till he reached the inn, where the fit still continued upon +him.</p> + +<p>At dinner, twenty beardless men and twenty violins produced a concert. +He received the compliments of the greatest lords of the city during the +remainder of the day; but from their extravagant actions, he was +strongly tempted to throw two or three of these violet-colored gentry +out of the window. He left with the greatest precipitation this city of +the masters of the world, where young men were treated so whimsically, +and where he found himself necessitated to kiss an old man's toe, as if +his cheek were at the end of his foot.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Xa" id="Xa"></a>X.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">AN UNFORTUNATE ADVENTURE IN GAUL.</span></h4> + + +<p>In all the provinces through which Amazan passed, he remained ever +faithful to the princess of Babylon, though incessantly enraged at the +king of Egypt. This model of constancy at length arrived at the new +capital of the Gauls. This city, like many others, had alternately +submitted to barbarity, ignorance, folly, and misery. The first name it +bore was Dirt and Mire; it then took that of Isis, from the worship of +Isis, which had reached even here. Its first senate consisted of a +company of watermen. It had long been in bondage, and submitted to the +ravages of the heroes of the Seven Mountains; and some ages after, some +other heroic thieves who came from the farther banks of the Rhine, had +seized upon its little lands.</p> + +<p>Time, which changes all things, had formed it into a city, half of which +was very noble and very agreeable, the other half somewhat barbarous and +ridiculous. This was the emblem of its inhabitants. There were within +its walls at least a hundred thousand people, who had no other +employment than play and diversion. These idlers were the judges of +those arts which the others cultivated. They were ignorant of all that +passed at court; though they were only four short miles distant from it: +but it seemed to them at least six hundred thousand miles off. +Agreeableness in company, gaiety and frivolty, formed the important and +sole considerations of their lives. They were governed like children, +who are extravagantly supplied with gewgaws, to prevent their crying. If +the horrors were discussed, which two centuries before had laid waste +their country, or if those dreadful periods were recalled, when one half +of the nation massacred the other for sophisms, they, indeed, said, +"this was not well done;" then, presently, they fell to laughing again, +or singing of catches.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 475px;"> +<a name="Kissing_an_old_man_s_toe" id="Kissing_an_old_man_s_toe"></a> +<img src="images/img_038_kissing_toe.jpg" width="475" alt="Kissing an old man's toe." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Kissing an old man's toe.</span> +</div> + +<h5>KISSING THE POPE'S FOOT.</h5> +<blockquote> +<p class="block">On page 181 of <i>The Religion of Rome</i>, the author asks the +questions: "Why does the pope cause his foot, or rather his +slipper, to be kissed? And when did this custom begin?" His +explanation is as follows:</p> + +<p class="block">"Theophilus Rainaldo and the Bollandist fathers, as well as other +Roman Catholic authors, tell us a gallant story of Pope St. Leo I., +called the Great, which, if it were true, might show the origin of +the practice. They say that a young and very handsome devotee was +admitted on Easter day, to kiss the hand of Pope St. Leo after the +mass. The pope felt himself very much excited by this kiss, and +remembering the words of the Savior, 'If thy hand offend thee, cut +it off, and cast it from thee' (Matt. v. 30), he at once cut off +his hand. But as he was unable to perform mass with only one hand, +the people were in a great rage. The pope therefore prayed to God +to restore his hand, and God complied: his hand was again united to +the stump. And to avoid such dilemmas in future, Leo ordered that +thereafter no one should kiss his hand, but only his foot. A very +little common sense is sufficient to make us understand that such +was not the origin of this custom.</p> + +<p class="block">"The first who invented this degrading act of kissing feet was the +Emperor Caligula. He, in his quality of Pontifex Maximus, ordered +the people to kiss his foot. Succeeding emperors refused such an +act of base slavery. But Heliogabalus, as emperor, and Pontifex +Maximus, again introduced it. After him, the custom fell into +disuse; but the Christian emperors retaining some of the wicked +fables given to the pagan emperors, permitted the kissing of the +foot as a compliment on the presentation of petitions. We may cite +a few instances. The acts of the Council of Chalcedon say that +Fazius, Bishop of Tyre, in his petition to the emperor, said, 'I +supplicate, prostrate, at your immaculate and divine feet.' +Bassianus, Bishop of Ephesus, says, 'I prostrate myself at your +feet.' Eunomius, Bishop of Nicomedia, says, 'I prostrate myself +before the footsteps of your power.' The Abbot Saba says, 'I am +come to adore the footsteps of your piety. Prococius, in his +<i>History of Mysteries</i>, says that the Emperor Justinian, at the +instigation of the proud Theodora, his wife, was the first amongst +the Christian emperors who ordered prostrations before himself and +his wife, and the kissing of their feet.</p> + +<p class="block">"The ecclesiastics, the bishops, and, finally, the popes, were not +exempt from paying this homage to the emperors. The prelates of +Syria held this language to the Emperor Justinian. 'The pope of +holy memory, and the archbishop of ancient Rome, has come to your +pious conversation, and has been honored by your holy feet.' Pope +Gregory I., writing to Theodorus, the physician of the Emperor +Mauritius, in the year A.D. 593, said: 'My tongue cannot +sufficiently express the great benefits that I have received from +God Almighty and from our great emperor, for which I can only love +him and kiss his feet.' In the year A.D. 681 Pope Agathon, sending +his legates to the sixth council, writes to the Emperor Constantine +Pogonatus: 'As prostrate in your presence, and embracing your feet, +I implore you,' etc. In the seventh century, therefore, not only +did the popes not have their feet kissed, but they themselves were +obliged to kiss those of the emperor. Becoming sovereigns of Rome, +they soon began to adopt the same custom. Pope Eugenius II., who +died in 827, was the first who made it the law to kiss the papal +foot. From that time it was necessary to kneel before the popes. +Gregory VII. ordered all princes to submit to this practice.</p> + +<p class="block">"From what we have said it is clear that the origin of feet-kissing +was entirely pagan and idolatrous. That this custom is in total +contradiction to the precepts of the Gospel would be a waste of +words to assert. Jesus Christ was so far from desiring people to +kiss his feet, that he set himself on one occasion to wash the feet +of his disciples. These are the words of the Gospel: 'He riseth +from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel and +girded himself. After that he poured water into a basin, and began +to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel +wherewith he was girded.'</p> + +<p class="block">"This act of Jesus Christ is in perfect keeping (John xiii. 4.5) +with all his precepts, with his inculcations of modesty, equality, +humility, and with his condemnation of those who set themselves +above others. Who would have said that a day would come in which +those claiming to be his vicars should cause people to kiss their +feet? How thoroughly has Catholicism borrowed from paganism its +idolatries? And notwithstanding this flagrant violation of the +religion of Christ, what a herd of people go and press their lips +on the slipper of the pope, as was done formerly to the Roman +emperors, the pontifices maximi, that is to say, the priests of +Jove."—E.</p></blockquote> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>In proportion as the idlers were polished, agreeable, and amiable, it +was observed that there was a greater and more shocking contrast between +them and those who were engaged in business.</p> + +<p>Among the latter, or such as pretended so to be, there was a gang of +melancholy fanatics, whose absurdity and knavery divided their +character,—whose appearance alone diffused misery,—and who would have +overturned the world, had they been able to gain a little credit. But +the nation of idlers, by dancing and singing, forced them into obscurity +in their caverns, as the warbling birds drive the croaking bats back to +their holes and ruins.</p> + +<p>A smaller number of those who were occupied, were the preservers of +ancient barbarous customs, against which nature, terrified, loudly +exclaimed. They consulted nothing but their worm-eaten registers. If +they there discovered a foolish or horrid custom, they considered it as +a sacred law. It was from this vile practice of not daring to think for +themselves, but extracting their ideas from the ruins of those times +when no one thought at all, that in the metropolis of pleasure there +still remained some shocking manners. Hence it was that there was no +proportion between crimes and punishments. A thousand deaths were +sometimes inflicted upon an innocent victim, to make him acknowledge a +crime he had not committed.</p> + +<p>The extravagancies of youth were punished with the same severity as +murder or parricide. The idlers screamed loudly at these exhibitions, +and the next day thought no more about them, but were buried in the +contemplation of some new fashion.</p> + +<p>This people saw a whole age elapse, in which the fine arts attained a +degree of perfection that far surpassed the most sanguine hopes. +Foreigners then repaired thither, as they did to Babylon, to admire the +great monuments of architecture, the wonders of gardening, the sublime +efforts of sculpture and painting. They were charmed with a species of +music that reached the heart without astonishing the ears.</p> + +<p>True poetry, that is to say, such as is natural and harmonious, that +which addresses the heart as well as the mind, was unknown to this +nation before this happy period. New kinds of eloquence displayed +sublime beauties. The theatres in particular reëchoed with masterpieces +that no other nation ever approached. In a word, good taste prevailed in +every profession to that degree, that there were even good writers among +the Druids.</p> + +<p>So many laurels that had branched even to the skies, soon withered in an +exhausted soil. There remained but a very small number, whose leaves +were of a pale dying verdure. This decay was occasioned by the facility +of producing; laziness preventing good productions, and by a satiety of +the brilliant, and a taste for the whimsical. Vanity protected arts that +brought back times of barbarity; and this same vanity, in persecuting +persons of real merit, forced them to quit their country. The hornets +banished the bees.</p> + +<p>There were scarce any real arts, scarce any real genius, talent now +consisted in reasoning right or wrong upon the merit of the last age. +The dauber of a sign-post criticised with an air of sagacity the works +of the greatest painters; and the blotters of paper disfigured the works +of the greatest writers. Ignorance and bad taste had other daubers in +their pay. The same things were repeated in a hundred volumes under +different titles. Every work was either a dictionary or a pamphlet. A +Druid gazetteer wrote twice a week the obscure annals of an unknown +people possessed with the devil, and of celestial prodigies operated in +garrets by little beggars of both sexes. Other Ex-Druids, dressed in +black, ready to die with rage and hunger, set forth their complaints in +a hundred different writings, that they were no longer allowed to cheat +mankind—this privilege being conferred on some goats clad in grey; and +some Arch-Druids were employed in printing defamatory libels.</p> + +<p>Amazan was quite ignorant of all this, and even if he had been +acquainted with it, he would have given himself very little concern +about it, having his head filled with nothing but the princess of +Babylon, the king of Egypt, and the inviolable vow he had made to +despise all female coquetry in whatever country his despair should drive +him.</p> + +<p>The gaping ignorant mob, whose curiosity exceeds all the bounds of +nature and reason, for a long time thronged about his unicorns. The more +sensible women forced open the doors of his <i>hotel</i> to contemplate his +person.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 393px;"> +<a name="Gaiety_and_frivolity" id="Gaiety_and_frivolity"></a> +<img src="images/img_039_gaiety.jpg" width="393" alt="GAIETY AND FRIVOLITY." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Gaiety and frivolity.—"There are within its walls at +least a hundred thousand people, who had no other employment than play +and diversion."</span> +</div> + +<p>He at first testified some desire of visiting the court; but some of the +idlers, who constituted good company and casually went thither, informed +him that it was quite out of fashion, that times were greatly changed, +and that all amusements were confined to the city. He was invited that +very night to sup with a lady whose sense and talents had reached +foreign climes, and who had traveled in some countries through which +Amazan had passed. This lady gave him great pleasure, as well as the +society he met at her house. Here reigned a decent liberty, gaiety +without tumult, silence without pedantry, and wit without asperity. He +found that <i>good company</i> was not quite ideal, though the title was +frequently usurped by pretenders. The next day he dined in a society far +less amiable, but much more voluptuous. The more he was satisfied with +the guests, the more they were pleased with him. He found his soul +soften and dissolve, like the aromatics of his country, which gradually +melt in a moderate heat, and exhale in delicious perfumes.</p> + +<p>After dinner he was conducted to a place of public entertainment which +was enchanting; but condemned, however, by the Druids, because it +deprived them of their auditors, which, therefore, excited their +jealousy. The representation here consisted of agreeable verses, +delightful songs, dances which expressed the movements of the soul, and +perspectives that charmed the eye in deceiving it. This kind of pastime, +which included so many kinds, was known only under a foreign name. It +was called an <i>Opera</i>, which formerly signified, in the language of the +Seven Mountains, work, care, occupation, industry, enterprise, business. +This exhibition enchanted him. A female singer, in particular, charmed +him by her melodious voice, and the graces that accompanied her. This +child of genius, after the performance, was introduced to him by his new +friends. He presented her with a handful of diamonds; for which she was +so grateful, that she could not leave him all the rest of the day. He +supped with her and her companions, and during the delightful repast he +forgot his sobriety, and became heated and oblivious with wine. What an +instance of human frailty!</p> + +<p>The beautiful princess of Babylon arrived at this juncture, with her +phœnix, her chambermaid Irla, and her two hundred Gangaridian +cavaliers mounted on their unicorns. It was a long while before the +gates were opened. She immediately asked, if the handsomest, the most +courageous, the most sensible, and the most faithful of men was still in +that city? The magistrates readily concluded that she meant Amazan. She +was conducted to his <i>hotel</i>. How great was the palpitation of her +heart!—the powerful operation of the tender passion. Her whole soul was +penetrated with inexpressible joy, to see once more in her lover the +model of constancy. Nothing could prevent her entering his chamber; the +curtains were open; and she saw the beautiful Amazan asleep and +stupefied with drink.</p> + +<p>Formosanta expressed her grief with such screams as made the house echo. +She swooned into the arms of Irla. As soon as she had recovered her +senses, she retired from this fatal chamber with grief blended with +rage.</p> + +<p>"Oh! just heaven; oh, powerful Oromasdes!" cried the beautiful princess +of Babylon, bathed in tears. "By whom, and for whom am I thus betrayed? +He that could reject for my sake so many princesses, to abandon me for +the company of a strolling Gaul! No! I can never survive this affront."</p> + +<p>"This is the disposition of all young people," said Irla to her, "from +one end of the world to the other. Were they enamoured with a beauty +descended from heaven, they would at certain moments forget her +entirely."</p> + +<p>"It is done," said the princess, "I will never see him again whilst I +live. Let us depart this instant, and let the unicorns be harnessed."</p> + +<p>The phœnix conjured her to stay at least till Amazan awoke, that he +might speak with him.</p> + +<p>"He does not deserve it," said the princess. "You would cruelly offend +me. He would think that I had desired you to reproach him, and that I am +willing to be reconciled to him. If you love me, do not add this injury +to the insult he has offered me."</p> + +<p>The phœnix, who after all owed his life to the daughter of the king +of Babylon, could not disobey her. She set out with all her attendants.</p> + +<p>"Whither are you going?" said Irla to her.</p> + +<p>"I do not know," replied the princess; "we will take the first road we +find. Provided I fly from Amazan for ever, I am satisfied."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> +<a name="Ancient_barbarous_customs" id="Ancient_barbarous_customs"></a> +<img src="images/img_040_ancient_customs.jpg" width="450" alt="Ancient barbarous customs." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Ancient barbarous customs.</span> +</div> + + +<h5>ANCIENT BARBAROUS CUSTOMS.</h5> +<blockquote> +<p class="block">William Howitt, in a note to his translation of <i>The Religion of +Rome</i>, (page 19), points out very clearly the evils which have +resulted to man from the sinister teaching of the upholders of +ancient barbarous customs:—</p> + +<p class="block">"If anyone would satisfy himself of what Popery is at its centre; +what it does where it has had its fullest sway, let him make a tour +into the mountains in the vicinity of Rome, and see in a country +exceedingly beautiful by nature, what is the condition of an +extremely industrious population. In the rock towns of the Alban, +Sabine, and Volscian hills, you find a swarming throng of men, +women, and children, asses, pigs, and hens, all groveling in +inconceivable filth, squalor, and poverty. Filth in the streets, in +the houses, everywhere; fleas, fever, and small-pox, and the +densest ignorance darkening minds of singular natural cleverness. A +people brilliant in intellect, totally uneducated, and steeped in +the grossest superstition.</p> + +<p class="block">"These dens of dirt, disease and, till lately, or brigandage, are +the evidences of a thousand years of priestly government! They, and +the country around them, are chiefly the property of the great +princely and ducal families which sprung out of the papal neposm of +Rome, and have by successive popes, their founders, been loaded +with the wealth of the nation. These families live in Rome, in +their great palaces, amidst every luxury and splendor, surrounded +by the finest works of art, and leave their tenants and dependents +without any attention from them. Some steward or middleman screws +the last soldo from them for rent; and when crops fail, lifts not a +finger to alleviate their misery.</p> + +<p class="block">"And the Papal Government, too—a government pretendedly based on +the direct ordination of Him who went about doing good—what has it +done for them? Nothing but debauch their minds with idle ceremonies +and unscriptural dogmas,—legends, priests, monks and beggary! The +whole land is a land of beggars, made so by inculcated notions of a +spurious charity. Every countrywoman, many men, and every child, +boy or girl, are literally beggars—beggars importunate, +unappeasable, irrepressible! What a condition of mind for a +naturally noble and capable people to be reduced to by—a +religion!"</p></blockquote> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The phœnix, who was wiser than Formosanta, because he was divested of +passion, consoled her upon the road. He gently insinuated to her that it +was shocking to punish one's self for the faults of another; that Amazan +had given her proofs sufficiently striking and numerous of his fidelity, +so that she should forgive him for having forgotten himself for one +moment in social company; that this was the only time in which he had +been wanting of the grace of Oromasdes; that it would render him only +the more constant in love and virtue for the future; that the desire of +expiating his fault would raise him beyond himself; that it would be the +means of increasing her happiness; that many great princesses before her +had forgiven such slips, and had had no reason to be sorry afterward; +and he was so thoroughly possessed of the art of persuasion, that +Formosanta's mind grew more calm and peaceable. She was now sorry she +had set out so soon. She thought her unicorns went too fast, but she did +not dare return. Great was the conflict between her desire of forgiving +and that of showing her rage—between her love and vanity. However, her +unicorns pursued their pace; and she traversed the world, according to +the prediction of her father's oracle.</p> + +<p>When Amazan awoke, he was informed of the arrival and departure of +Formosanta and the phœnix. He was also told of the rage and +distraction of the princess, and that she had sworn never to forgive +him.</p> + +<p>"Then," said he, "there is nothing left for me to do, but follow her, +and kill myself at her feet."</p> + +<p>The report of this adventure drew together his festive companions, who +all remonstrated with him. They said that he had much better stay with +them; that nothing could equal the pleasant life they led in the centre +of arts and refined delicate pleasures; that many strangers, and even +kings, preferred such an agreeable enchanting repose to their country +and their thrones. Moreover, his vehicle was broken, and another was +being made for him according to the newest fashion; that the best tailor +of the whole city had already cut out for him a dozen suits in the +latest style; that the most vivacious, amiable, and fashionable ladies, +at whose houses dramatic performances were represented, had each +appointed a day to give him a regale. The girl from the opera was in the +meanwhile drinking her chocolate, laughing, singing, and ogling the +beautiful Amazan—who by this time clearly perceived she had no more +sense than a goose.</p> + +<p>A sincerity, cordiality, and frankness, as well as magnanimity and +courage, constituted the character of this great prince, he related his +travels and misfortunes to his friends. They knew that he was +cousin-german to the princess. They were informed of the fatal kiss she +had given the king of Egypt. "Such little tricks," said they, "are often +forgiven between relatives, otherwise one's whole life would pass in +perpetual uneasiness."</p> + +<p>Nothing could shake his design of pursuing Formosanta; but his carriage +not being ready, he was compelled to remain three days longer among the +idlers, who were still feasting and merry-making. He at length took his +leave of them, by embracing them and making them accept some of his +diamonds that were the best mounted, and recommending to them a +constant pursuit of frivolity and pleasure, since +they were thereby made more agreeable and happy.</p> + +<p>"The Germans," said he, "are the greyheads of Europe; the people of +Albion are men formed; the inhabitants of Gaul are the children,—and I +love to play with children."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIa" id="XIa"></a>XI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">AMAZAN AND FORMOSANTA BECOME RECONCILED.</span></h4> + + +<p>The guides had no difficulty in following the route the princess had +taken. There was nothing else talked of but her and her large bird. All +the inhabitants were still in a state of fascination. The banks of the +Loire, of the Dordogue—the Garonne, and the Gironde, still echoed with +acclamation.</p> + +<p>When Amazan reached the foot of the Pyrenees, the magistrates and Druids +of the country made him dance, whether he would or not, a <i>Tambourin</i>; +but as soon as he cleared the Pyrenees, nothing presented itself that +was either gay or joyous. If he here and there heard a peasant sing, +it was a doleful ditty. The inhabitants stalked with much gravity, +having a few strung beads and a girted poniard. The nation dressed in +black, and appeared to be in mourning.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 516px;"> +<a name="Dancing_a_tambourin" id="Dancing_a_tambourin"></a> +<img src="images/img_041_tambourin.jpg" width="516" alt="DANCING A TAMBOURIN." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Dancing a tambourin.—"When Amazan reached the foot of +the Pyrenees, the magistrates and druids of the country made him dance, +whether he would or not, a Tambourin; but as soon as he cleared the +Pyrenees, nothing presented itself that was either gay or joyous."</span> +</div> + +<p>If Amazan's servants asked passengers any questions, they were answered +by signs; if they went into an inn, the host acquainted his guests in +three words, that there was nothing in the house, but that the things +they so pressingly wanted might be found a few miles off.</p> + +<p>When these votaries to taciturnity were asked if they had seen the +beautiful princess of Babylon pass, they answered with less brevity than +usual: "We have seen her—she is not so handsome—there are no beauties +that are not tawny—she displays a bosom of alabaster, which is the most +disgusting thing in the world, and which is scarce known in our +climate."</p> + +<p>Amazan advanced toward the province watered by the Betis. The Tyrians +discovered this country about twelve thousand years ago, about the time +they discovered the great Atlantic Isle, inundated so many centuries +after. The Tyrians cultivated Betica, which the natives of the country +had never done, being of opinion that it was not their place to meddle +with anything, and that their neighbors, the Gauls, should come and reap +their harvests. The Tyrians had brought with them some Palestines, or +Jews, who, from that time, have wandered through every clime where money +was to be gained. The Palestines, by extraordinary usury, at fifty per +cent., had possessed themselves of almost all the riches of the country. +This made the people of Betica imagine the Palestines were sorcerers; +and all those who were accused of witchcraft were burnt, without mercy, +by a company of Druids, who were called the Inquisitors, or the +<i>Anthropokaies</i>. These priests immediately put their victims in a +masquerade habit, seized upon their effects, and devoutly repeated the +Palestines' own prayers, whilst burning them by a slow fire, <i>por l'amor +de Dios</i>.</p> + +<p>The princess of Babylon alighted in that city which has since been +called Sevilla. Her design was to embark upon the Betis to return by +Tyre to Babylon, and see again king Belus, her father; and forget, if +possible, her perdious lover—or, at least, to ask him in marriage. She +sent for two Palestines, who transacted all the business of the court. +They were to furnish her with three ships. The phœnix made all the +necessary contracts with them, and settled the price after some little +dispute.</p> + +<p>The hostess was a great devotee, and her husband, who was no less +religious, was a Familiar: that is to say, a spy of the Druid +Inquisitors or <i>Anthropokaies</i>.</p> + +<p>He failed not to inform them, that in his house was a sorceress and two +Palestines, who were entering into a compact with the devil, disguised +like a large gilt bird.</p> + +<p>The Inquisitors having learned that the lady possessed a large quantity +of diamonds, swore point blank that she was a sorceress. They waited +till night to imprison the two hundred cavaliers and the unicorns, +(which slept in very extensive stables), for the Inquisitors are +cowards.</p> + +<p>Having strongly barricaded the gates, they seized the princess and Irla; +but they could not catch the phœnix, who flew away with great +swiftness. He did not doubt of meeting with Amazan upon the road from +Gaul to Sevilla.</p> + +<p>He met him upon the frontiers of Betica, and acquainted him with the +disaster that had befallen the princess.</p> + +<p>Amazan was struck speechless with rage. He armed himself with a steel +cuirass damasquined with gold, a lance twelve feet long, two javelins, +and an edged sword called the Thunderer, which at one single stroke +would rend trees, rocks, and Druids. He covered his beautiful head with +a golden casque, shaded with heron and ostrich feathers. This was the +ancient armor of Magog, which his sister Aldea gave him when upon his +journey in Scythia. The few attendants he had with him all mounted their +unicorns.</p> + +<p>Amazan, in embracing his dear phœnix, uttered only these melancholy +expressions: "I am guilty! Had I not dined with the child of genius from +the opera, in the city of the idlers, the princess of Babylon would not +have been in this alarming situation. Let us fly to the +<i>Anthropokaies</i>." He presently entered Sevilla. Fifteen hundred +Alguazils guarded the gates of the inclosure in which the two hundred +Gangarids and their unicorns were shut up, without being allowed +anything to eat. Preparations were already made for sacrificing the +princess of Babylon, her chambermaid Irla, and the two rich Palestines.</p> + +<p>The high <i>Anthropokaie</i>, surrounded by his subaltern <i>Anthropokaies</i>, +was already seated upon his sacred tribunal. A crowd of Sevillians, +wearing strung beads at their girdles, joined their two hands, without +uttering a syllable, when the beautiful Princess, the maid Irla, and the +two Palestines were brought forth, with their hands tied behind their +backs and dressed in masquerade habits.</p> + +<p>The phœnix entered the prison by a dormer window, whilst the +Gangarids began to break open the doors. The invincible Amazan shattered +them without. They all sallied forth armed, upon their unicorns, and +Amazan put himself at their head. He had no difficulty in overthrowing +the Alguazils, the Familiars, or the priests called <i>Anthropokaies</i>. +Each unicorn pierced dozens at a time. The thundering Amazan cut to +pieces all he met. The people in black cloaks and dirty frize ran away, +always keeping fast hold of their blest beads, <i>por l'amor de Dios</i>.</p> + +<p>Amazan collared the high Inquisitor upon his tribunal, and threw him +upon the pile, which was prepared about forty paces distant; and he also +cast upon it the other Inquisitors, one after the other. He then +prostrated himself at Formosanta's feet. "Ah! how amiable you are," said +she; "and how I should adore you, if you had not forsaken me for the +company of an opera singer."</p> + +<p>Whilst Amazan was making his peace with the princess, whilst his +Gangarids cast upon the pile the bodies of all the <i>Anthropokaies</i>, and +the flames ascended to the clouds, Amazan saw an army that approached +him at a distance. An aged monarch, with a crown upon his head, advanced +upon a car drawn by eight mules harnessed with ropes. An hundred other +cars followed. They were accompanied by grave looking men in black +cloaks or frize, mounted upon very fine horses. A multitude of people, +with greasy hair, followed silently on foot.</p> + +<p>Amazan immediately drew up his Gangarids about him, and advanced with +his lance couched. As soon as the king perceived him, he took off his +crown, alighted from his car, and embraced Amazan's stirrup, saying to +him: "Man sent by the gods, you are the avenger of human kind, the +deliverer of my country. These sacred monsters, of which you have +purged the earth, were my masters, in the name of the Old Man of the +Seven Mountains. I was forced to submit to their criminal power. My +people would have deserted me, if I had only been inclined to moderate +their abominable crimes. From this moment I breathe, I reign, and am +indebted to you for it."</p> + +<p>He afterward respectfully kissed Formosanta's hand, and entreated her to +get into his coach (drawn by eight mules) with Amazan, Irla, and the +phœnix.</p> + +<p>The two Palestine bankers, who still remained prostrate on the ground +through fear and terror, now raised their heads. The troop of unicorns +followed the king of Betica into his palace.</p> + +<p>As the dignity of a king who reigned over a people of characteristic +brevity, required that his mules should go at a very slow pace, Amazan +and Formosanta had time to relate to him their adventures. He also +conversed with the phœnix, admiring and frequently embracing him. He +easily comprehended how brutal and barbarous the people of the west +should be considered, who ate animals, and did not understand their +language; that the Gangarids alone had preserved the nature and dignity +of primitive man; but he particularly agreed, that the most barbarous of +mortals were the <i>Anthropokaies</i>, of whom Amazan had just purged the +earth. He incessantly blessed and thanked him. The beautiful Formosanta +had already forgotten the affair in Gaul, and had her soul filled with +nothing but the valor of the hero who had preserved her life. Amazan +being made acquainted with the innocence of the embrace she had given to +the king of Egypt, and being told of the resurrection of the phœnix, +tasted the purest joy, and was intoxicated with the most violent love.</p> + +<p>They dined at the palace, but had a very indifferent repast. The cooks +of Betica were the worst in Europe. Amazan advised the king to send for +some from Gaul. The king's musicians performed, during the repast, that +celebrated air which has since been called <i>the Follies of Spain</i>. After +dinner, matters of business came upon the carpet.</p> + +<p>The king enquired of the handsome Amazan, the beautiful Formosanta, and +the charming phœnix, what they proposed doing. "For my part," said +Amazan, "my intention is to return to Babylon, of which I am the +presumptive heir, and to ask of my uncle Belus the hand of my +cousin-german, the incomparable Formosanta."</p> + +<p>"My design certainly is," said the princess, "never to separate from my +cousin-germain. But I imagine he will agree with me, that I should +return first to my father, because he only gave me leave to go upon a +pilgrimage to Bassora, and I have wandered all over the world."</p> + +<p>"For my part," said the phœnix, "I will follow every where these two +tender, generous lovers."</p> + +<p>"You are in the right," said the king of Betica; "but your return to +Babylon is not so easy as you imagine. I receive daily intelligence from +that country by Tyrian ships, and my Palestine bankers, who correspond +with all the nations of the earth. The people are all in arms toward the +Euphrates and the Nile. The king of Scythia claims the inheritance of +his wife, at the head of three hundred thousand warriors on horseback. +The kings of Egypt and India are also laying waste the banks of the +Tygris and the Euphrates, each at the head of three hundred thousand +men, to revenge themselves for being laughed at. The king of Ethiopia is +ravaging Egypt with three hundred thousand men, whilst the king of Egypt +is absent from his country. And the king of Babylon has as yet only six +hundred thousand men to defend himself.</p> + +<p>"I acknowledge to you," continued the king, "when I hear of those +prodigious armies which are disembogued from the east, and their +astonishing magnificence—when I compare them to my trifling bodies of +twenty or thirty thousand soldiers, which it is so difficult to clothe +and feed; I am inclined to think the eastern subsisted long before the +western hemisphere. It seems as if we sprung only yesterday from chaos +and barbarity."</p> + +<p>"Sire," said Amazan, "the last comers frequently outstrip those who +first began the career. It is thought in my country that man was first +created in India; but this I am not certain of."</p> + +<p>"And," said the king of Betica to the phœnix, "what do you think?"</p> + +<p>"Sire," replied the phœnix, "I am as yet too young to have any +knowledge concerning antiquity. I have lived only about twenty-seven +thousand years; but my father, who had lived five times that age, told +me he had learned from his father, that the eastern country had always +been more populous and rich than the others. It had been transmitted to +him from his ancestors, that the generation of all animals had begun +upon the banks of the Ganges. For my part, said he, I have not the +vanity to be of this opinion. I cannot believe that the foxes of Albion, +the marmots of the Alps, and the wolves of Gaul, are descended from my +country. In the like manner, I do not believe that the firs and oaks of +your country descended from the palm and cocoa trees of India."</p> + +<p>"But from whence are we descended, then?" said the king.</p> + +<p>"I do not know," said the phœnix; "all I want to know is, whither the +beautiful princess of Babylon and my dear Amazan may repair."</p> + +<p>"I very much question," said the king, "whether with his two hundred +unicorns he will be able to destroy so many armies of three hundred +thousand men each."</p> + +<p>"Why not?" said Amazan. The king of Betica felt the force of this +sublime question, "Why not?" but he imagined sublimity alone was not +sufficient against innumerable armies.</p> + +<p>"I advise you," said he, "to seek the king of Ethiopia. I am related to +that black prince through my Palestines. I will give you recommendatory +letters to him. As he is at enmity with the king of Egypt, he will be +but too happy to be strengthened by your alliance. I can assist you with +two thousand sober, brave men; and it will depend upon yourself to +engage as many more of the people who reside, or rather skip, about the +foot of the Pyrenees, and who are called Vasques or Vascons. Send one of +your warriors upon an unicorn, with a few diamonds. There is not a +Vascon that will not quit the castle, that is, the thatched cottage of +his father, to serve you. They are indefatigable, courageous, and +agreeable; and whilst you wait their arrival, we will give you +festivals, and prepare your ships. I cannot too much acknowledge the +service you have done me."</p> + +<p>Amazan realized the happiness of having recovered Formosanta, and +enjoyed in tranquillity her conversation, and all the charms of +reconciled love,—which are almost equal to a growing passion.</p> + +<p>A troop of proud, joyous Vascons soon arrived, dancing a <i>tambourin</i>. +The haughty and grave Betican troops were now ready. The old sun-burnt +king tenderly embraced the two lovers. He sent great quantities of arms, +beds, chests, boards, black clothes, onions, sheep, fowls, flour, and +particularly garlic, on board the ships, and wished them a happy voyage, +invariable love, and many victories.</p> + +<p>Proud Carthage was not then a sea-port. There were at that time only a +few Numidians there, who dried fish in the sun. They coasted along +Bizacenes, the Syrthes, the fertile banks where since arose Cyrene and +the great Chersonese.</p> + +<p>They at length arrived toward the first mouth of the sacred Nile. It was +at the extremity of this fertile land that the ships of all commercial +nations were already received in the port of Canope, without knowing +whether the god Canope had founded this port, or whether the inhabitants +had manufactured the god—whether the star Canope had given its name to +the city, or whether the city had bestowed it upon the star. All that +was known of this matter was, that the city and the star were both very +ancient; and this is all that can be known of the origin of things, of +what nature soever they may be.</p> + +<p>It was here that the king of Ethiopia, having ravaged all Egypt, saw the +invincible Amazan and the adorable Formosanta come on shore. He took one +for the god of war, and the other for the goddess of beauty. Amazan +presented to him the letter of recommendation from the king of Spain. +The king of Ethiopia immediately entertained them with some admirable +festivals, according to the indispensable custom of heroic times. They +then conferred about their expedition to exterminate the three hundred +thousand men of the king of Egypt, the three hundred thousand of the +emperor of the Indies, and the three hundred thousand of the great Khan +of the Scythians, who laid siege to the immense, proud, voluptuous city +of Babylon.</p> + +<p>The two hundred Spaniards, whom Amazan had brought with him, said that +they had nothing to do with the king of Ethiopia's succoring Babylon; +that it was sufficient their king had ordered them to go and deliver it; +and that they were formidable enough for this expedition.</p> + +<p>The Vascons said they had performed many other exploits; that they +would alone defeat the Egyptians, the Indians, and the Scythians; and +that they would not march unless the Spaniards were placed in the +rear-guard.</p> + +<p>The two hundred Gangarids could not refrain from laughing at the +pretensions of their allies, and they maintained that with only one +hundred unicorns, they could put to flight all the kings of the earth. +The beautiful Formosanta appeased them by her prudence, and by her +enchanting discourse. Amazan introduced to the black monarch his +Gangarids, his unicorns, his Spaniards, his Vascons, and his beautiful +bird.</p> + +<p>Every thing was soon ready to march by Memphis, Heliopolis, Arsinoe, +Petra, Artemitis, Sora, and Apamens, to attack the three kings, and to +prosecute this memorable war, before which all the wars ever waged by +man sink into insignificance.</p> + +<p>Fame with her hundred tongues has proclaimed the victories Amazan gained +over the three kings, with his Spaniards, his Vascons, and his unicorns. +He restored the beautiful Formosanta to her father. He set at liberty +all his mistress's train, whom the king of Egypt had reduced to slavery. +The great Khan of the Scythians declared himself his vassal; and his +marriage was confirmed with princess Aldea. The invincible and generous +Amazan, was acknowledged the heir to the kingdom of Babylon, and entered +the city in triumph with the phœnix, in the presence of a hundred +tributary kings. The festival of his marriage far surpassed that which +king Belus had given. The bull Apis was served up roasted at table. The +kings of Egypt and India were cup-bearers to the married pair; and these +nuptials were celebrated by five hundred illustrious poets of Babylon.</p> + +<p>Oh, Muses! daughters of heaven, who are constantly invoked at the +beginning of a work, I only implore you at the end. It is needless to +reproach me with saying grace, without having said <i>benedicite</i>. But, +Muses! you will not be less my patronesses. Inspire, I pray you, the +<i>Ecclesiastical Gazetteer</i>, the illustrious orator of the +<i>Convulsionnaires</i>, to say every thing possible against <i>The Princess of +Babylon</i>, in order that the work may be condemned by the Sorbonne, and, +therefore, be universally read. And prevent, I beseech you, O chaste and +noble Muses, any supplemental scribblers spoiling, by their fables, the +truths I have taught mortals in this faithful narrative.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 437px;"> +<a name="Clio_the_muse_of_history" id="Clio_the_muse_of_history"></a> +<img src="images/img_042_clio.jpg" width="437" alt="Clio, the muse of history." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Clio, the muse of history. From a painting by Antonio +Canova.—"Prevent, I beseech you, O chaste and noble Muses, any +supplemental scribblers spoiling, by their fables, the truths I have +taught mortals in this faithful narrative."</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 75%;" /> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_MAN_OF_FORTY_CROWNS" id="THE_MAN_OF_FORTY_CROWNS"></a>THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 516px;"> +<a name="The_Tax_Collector" id="The_Tax_Collector"></a> +<img src="images/img_043_tax_collector.jpg" width="516" alt="The Tax Collector." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The Tax Collector.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h3><a name="I" id="I"></a>I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">NATIONAL POVERTY.</span></h4> + +<p>An old man, who is forever <i>pitying the present times, and extolling the +past</i>, was saying to me: "Friend, France is not so rich as it was under +Henry the IVth."</p> + +<p>"And why?"</p> + +<p>"Because the lands are not so well cultivated; because hands are wanting +for the cultivation; and because the day-laborer having raised the price +of his work, many land owners let their inheritances he fallow."</p> + +<p>"Whence comes this scarcity of hands?"</p> + +<p>"From this, that whoever finds in himself anything of a spirit of +industry, takes up the trades of embroiderer, chaser, watchmaker, silk +weaver, attorney, or divine. It is also because the revocation of the +Edict of Nantes has left a great void in the kingdom; because nuns and +beggars of all kinds have greatly multiplied; because the people in +general avoid as much as possible the hard labor of cultivation, for +which we are born by God's destination, and which we have rendered +ignominious by our own opinions; so very wise are we!</p> + +<p>"Another cause of our poverty lies in our new wants. We pay our +neighbors four millions of livres on one article, and five or six upon +another, such, for example, as a stinking powder for stuffing up our +noses brought from America. Our coffee, tea, chocolate, cochineal, +indigo, spices, cost us above sixty millions a year. All these were +unknown to us in the reign of Henry the IVth, except the spices, of +which, however, the consumption was not so great as it is now. We burn a +hundred times more wax-lights than were burnt then; and get more than +the half of the wax from foreign countries, because we neglect our own +hives. We see a hundred times more diamonds in the ears, round the +necks, and on the hands of our city ladies of Paris, and other great +towns, than were worn by all the ladies of Henry the IVth's court, the +Queen included. Almost all the superfluities are necessarily paid for +with ready specie.</p> + +<p>"Observe especially that we pay to foreigners above fifteen millions of +annuities on the <i>Hôtel-de-Ville</i>; and that Henry the IVth, on his +accession, having found two millions of debt in all on this imaginary +<i>Hôtel</i>, very wisely paid off a part, to ease the state of this burden.</p> + +<p>"Consider that our civil wars were the occasion of the treasures of +Mexico being poured into the kingdom, when Don Philip <i>el Discreto</i> took +it into his head to buy France, and that since that time, our foreign +wars have eased us of a good half of our money.</p> + +<p>"These are partly the causes of our poverty; a poverty which we hide +under varnished ceilings, or with the help of our dealers in fashion. We +are poor with taste. There are some officers of revenue, there are +contractors or jobbers, there are merchants, very rich; their children, +their sons-in-law, are also very rich, but the nation in general is +unfortunately not so."</p> + +<p>This old man's discourse, well or ill grounded, made a deep impression +on me; for the curate of my parish, who had always had a friendship for +me, had taught me a little of geometry and of history: and I begin to +reflect a little, which is very rare in my province. I do not know +whether he was right or not in every thing, but being very poor, I could +very easily believe that I had a great many companions of my misery.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="II" id="II"></a>II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">DISASTER OF THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS.</span></h4> + + +<p>I very readily make known to the <i>universe</i> that I have a landed estate +which would yield me forty crowns a year, were it not for the tax laid +on it.</p> + +<p>There came forth several edicts from certain persons, who, having +nothing better to do, govern the state at their fire-side, the preamble +of these edicts was, "that the legislative and executive was born, <i>jure +divino</i>, the co-proprietor of my land;" and that I owe it at least the +half of what I possess. The enormity of this legislative and executive +power made me bless myself. What would it be if that power which +presides over "the essential order of society," were to take the whole +of my little estate? The one is still more divine than the other.</p> + +<p>The comptroller general knows that I used to pay, in all, but twelve +livres; that even this was a heavy burden on me, and that I should have +sunk under it, if God had not given me the talent of making wicker +baskets, which helped to carry me through my trials. But how should I, +on a sudden, be able to give the king twenty crowns?</p> + +<p>The new ministers also said in their preamble, that it was not fit to +tax anything but the land, because every thing arises from the land, +even rain itself, and consequently that nothing was properly liable to +taxation, but the fruits of the land.</p> + +<p>During the last war, one of their collectors came to my house, and +demanded of me, for my quota, three measures of corn, and a sack of +beans, the whole worth twenty crowns, to maintain the war—of which I +never knew the reason, having only heard it said, that there was nothing +to be got by it for our country, and a great deal to lose. As I had not +at that time either corn, or beans, or money, the legislative and +executive power had me dragged to prison; and the war went on as well as +it could.</p> + +<p>On my release from the dungeon, being nothing but skin and bone, whom +should I meet but a jolly fresh colored man in a coach and six? He had +six footmen, to each of whom he gave for his wages more than the double +of my revenue. His head-steward, who, by the way, looked in as good +plight as himself, had of him a salary of two thousand livres, and +robbed him every year of twenty thousand more. His mistress had in six +months stood him in forty thousand crowns. I had formerly known him when +he was less well to pass than myself. He owned, by way of comfort to me, +that he enjoyed four hundred thousand livres a year.</p> + +<p>"I suppose, then," said I, "that you pay out of this income two hundred +thousand to the state, to help to support that advantageous war we are +carrying on; since I, who have but just a hundred and twenty livres a +year, am obliged to pay half of them."</p> + +<p>"I," said he, "I contribute to the wants of the state? You are surely +jesting, my friend. I have inherited from an uncle his fortune of eight +millions, which he got at Cadiz and at Surat; I have not a foot of land; +my estate lies in government contracts, and in the funds. I owe the +state nothing. It is for you to give half of your substance,—you who +are a proprietor of land. Do you not see, that if the minister of the +revenue were to require anything of me in aid of our country, he would +be a blockhead, that could not calculate? for every thing is the produce +of the land. Money and the paper currency are nothing but pledges of +exchange. If, after having laid the sole tax, the tax that is to supply +the place of all others, on those commodities, the government were to +ask money of me; do you not see, that this would be a double load? that +it would be asking the same thing twice over? My uncle sold at Cadiz to +the amount of two millions of your corn, and of two millions of stuffs +made of your wool; upon these two articles he gained cent. per cent. You +must easily think that this profit came out of lands already taxed. What +my uncle bought for tenpence of you, he sold again for above fifty +livres at Mexico; and thus he made a shift to return to his own country +with eight millions clear.</p> + +<p>"You must be sensible, then, that it would be a horrid injustice to +re-demand of him a few farthings on the tenpence he paid you. If twenty +nephews like me, whose uncles had gained each eight millions at Buenos +Ayres, at Lima, at Surat, or at Pondicherry, were, in the urgent +necessities of the state, each to lend to it only two hundred thousand +livres, that would produce four millions. But what horror would that +be! Pay then thou, my friend, who enjoyest quietly the neat and clear +revenue of forty crowns; serve thy country well, and come now and then +to dine with my servants in livery."</p> + +<p>This plausible discourse made me reflect a good deal, but I cannot say +it much comforted me.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="III" id="III"></a>III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">CONVERSATION WITH A GEOMETRICIAN.</span></h4> + + +<p>It sometimes happens that a man has no answer to make, and yet is not +persuaded. He is overthrown without the feeling of being convinced. He +feels at the bottom of his heart a scruple, a repugnance, which hinders +him from believing what has been proved to him. A geometrician +demonstrates to you, that between a circle and a tangent, you may thread +a number of curves, and yet cannot get one straight line to pass. Your +eyes, your reason, tell you the contrary. The geometrician gravely +answers you, that it is an infinitesimal of the second order. You stare +in stupid silence, and quit the field all astonished, without having any +clear idea, without comprehending anything, and without having any reply +to make.</p> + +<p>Consult but a geometrician of more candor, and he explains the mystery +to you.</p> + +<p>"We suppose," says he, "what cannot be in nature, lines which have +length without breadth. Naturally and philosophically speaking, it is +impossible for one real line to penetrate another. No curve, nor no +right line can pass between two real lines that touch one another. These +theorems that puzzle you are but sports of the imagination, ideal +chimeras. Whereas true geometry is the art of measuring things actually +existent."</p> + +<p>I was perfectly well satisfied with the confession of the sensible +mathematician, and, with all my misfortune, could not help laughing on +learning that there was a quackery even in that science, which is called +the sublime science. My geometrician was a kind of philosophical +patriot, who had deigned to chat with me sometimes in my cottage. I said +to him:</p> + +<p>"Sir, you have tried to enlighten the cockneys of Paris, on a point of +the greatest concern to mankind, that of the duration of human life. It +is to you alone that the ministry owes its knowledge of the due rate of +annuities for lives, according to different ages. You have proposed to +furnish the houses in town with what water they may want, and to deliver +us at length from the shame and ridicule of hearing water cried about +the streets, and of seeing women inclosed within an oblong hoop, +carrying two pails of water, both together of about thirty pounds +weight, up to a fourth story. Be so good, in the name of friendship, to +tell me, how many two-handed bipeds there may be in France?"</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—It is assumed, that there may be about twenty +millions, and I am willing to adopt this calculation as the most +probable, till it can be verified, which it would be very easy to do, +and which, however, has not hitherto been done, because <i>one does not +always think of every thing</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—How many acres, think you, the whole territory +of France contains?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—One hundred and thirty millions, of which almost the +half is in roads, in towns, villages, moors, heaths, marshes, sands, +barren lands, useless convents, gardens of more pleasure than profit, +uncultivated grounds, and bad grounds ill cultivated. We might reduce +all the land which yields good returns to seventy-five millions of +square acres; but let us state them at fourscore millions. One cannot do +too much for one's country.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—How much may you think each acre brings in +yearly, one year with another, in corn, seeds of all kinds, wine, +fish-ponds, wood, metals, cattle, fruit, wool, silk, oil, milk, clear of +all charges, without reckoning the tax?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Why, if they produce each twenty-five livres, (about +twenty English shillings), it is a great deal; but not to discourage our +countrymen, let us put them at thirty livres. There are acres which +produce constantly regenerating value, and which are estimated at three +hundred livres: there are others which only produce three livres. The +mean proportion between three and three hundred is thirty; for you must +allow that three is to thirty as thirty is to three hundred. If, indeed, +there were comparatively many acres at thirty livres, and very few at +three hundred, our account would not hold good; but, once more, I would +not be over punctilious.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Well, sir; how much will these fourscore +millions of acres yield of revenue, estimated in money?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—The account is ready made; they will produce two +thousand four hundred millions of livres of the present currency.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—I have read that Solomon possessed, of his own +property, twenty-five thousand millions of livres, in ready money; and +certainly there are not two thousand four hundred millions of specie +circulating in France, which, I am told, is much greater and much richer +than Solomon's country.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—There lies the mystery. There may be about nine +hundred millions circulating throughout the kingdom; and this money, +passing from hand to hand, is sufficient to pay for all the produce of +the land, and of industry. The same crown may pass ten times from the +pocket of the cultivator, into that of the ale-housekeeper, and of the +tax-gatherer.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—I apprehend you. But you told me that we are, +in all, about twenty millions of inhabitants, men, women, old and young. +How much, pray, do you allow for each?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—One hundred and twenty livres, or forty crowns.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—You have just guessed my revenue. I have four +acres, which, reckoning the fallow years with those of produce, bring me +in one hundred and twenty livres; which is little enough, God knows.</p> + +<p>But if every individual were to have his contingent, would that be no +more than five louis d'ors a year?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Certainly not, according to our calculation, which I +have a little amplified. Such is the state of human nature. Our life and +our fortune have narrow limits. In Paris, they do not, one with another, +live above twenty-two or twenty-three years, and, one with another, +have not, at the most, above a hundred and twenty livres a year to +spend. So that your food, your raiment, your lodging, your movables, are +all represented by the sum of one hundred and twenty livres.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Alas! What have I done to you, that you thus +abridge me of my fortune and life? Can it then be true, that I have but +three and twenty years to live, unless I rob my fellow-creatures of +their share?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—This is incontestable in the good city of Paris. But +from these twenty-three years you must deduct ten, at the least, for +your childhood, as childhood is not an enjoyment of life; it is a +preparation; it is the porch of the edifice; it is the tree that has not +yet given fruits; it is the dawn of a day. Then again, from the thirteen +years which remain to you, deduct the time of sleep, and that of +tiresomeness of life, and that will be at least a moiety. You will then +have six years and a half left to pass in vexation, in pain, in some +pleasures, and in hopes.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Merciful heaven! At this rate, your account +does not allow us above three years of tolerable existence.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—-That is no fault of mine. Nature cares very little +for individuals. There are insects which do not live above one day, but +of which the species is perpetual. Nature resembles those great princes, +who reckon as nothing the loss of four hundred thousand men, so they but +accomplish their august designs.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Forty Crowns and three years of life! What +resource can you imagine against two such curses?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—As to life, it would be requisite to render the air +of Paris more pure—that men should eat less and take more +exercise—that mothers should suckle their own children—that people +should be no longer so ill-advised as to dread inoculation. This is what +I have already said; and as to fortune, why, even marry and rear a +family.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—How! Can the way to live more at ease be to +associate to my own bad circumstances those of others?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Five or six bad circumstances put together form a +tolerable establishment. Get a good wife, and we will say only two sons +and two daughters; this will make seven hundred and twenty livres for +your little family, that is to say, if distributive justice were to take +place, and that each individual had an hundred and twenty livres a year. +Your children, in their infancy, stand you in almost nothing; when grown +up they will ease and help you. Their mutual aid will save you a good +part of your expenses, and you may live very happy, like a philosopher. +Always provided, however, that those worthy gentlemen who govern the +state have not the barbarity to extort from each of you twenty crowns a +year. But the misfortune is, we are no longer in the golden age, where +the men, born all equals, had an equal part in the nutritive productions +of uncultivated land. The case is now far from being so good a one, as +that every two-handed biped possesses land to the value of an hundred +and twenty livres a year.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—'Sdeath! You ruin us. You said but just now, +that in a country of fourscore millions of inhabitants, each of them +ought to enjoy an hundred and twenty livres a year, and now you take +them away from us again!</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—I was computing according to the registers of the +golden age, but we must reckon according to that of iron. There are many +inhabitants who have but the value of ten crowns a year, others no more +than four or five, and above six millions of men who have absolutely +nothing.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Nothing? Why they would perish of hunger in +three days' time.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Not in the least. The others, who possess their +portions, set them to work, and share with them. It is from this +arrangement that the pay comes for the divine, the confectioner, the +apothecary, the preacher, the actor, the attorney, and the +hackney-coachman. You thought yourself very ill off, to have no more +than a hundred and twenty livres a year, reduced to a hundred and eight +by your tax of twelve livres. But consider the soldiers who devote their +blood to their country at the rate of fourpence a day. They have not +above sixty-three livres a year for their livelihood, and yet they make +a comfortable shift, by a number of them joining their little stock and +living in common.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—So then an ex-Jesuit has more than five times +the pay of a soldier. And yet the soldiers have done more service to the +state under the eyes of the king at Fontenoy, at Laufelt, at the siege +of Fribourg, than the reverend Father Le Valette ever did in his life.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Nothing can be truer: nay, every one of these +turned-adrift Jesuits, having now become free, has more to spend than +what he cost his convent. There are even some among them who have gained +a good deal of money by scribbling pamphlets against the parliaments, as +for example, the reverend father Patouillet, and the reverend father +Monote. In short, in this world every one sets his wits to work for a +livelihood. One is at the head of a manufactory of stuffs; another of +porcelain; another undertakes the opera; another the <i>Ecclesiastical +Gazette</i>; another a tragedy in familiar life, or a novel or romance in +the English style; this maintains the stationer, the ink-maker, the +bookseller, the hawker, who might else be reduced to beggary. There is +nothing, then, but the restitution of the hundred and twenty livres to +those who have nothing, that makes the state flourish.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—A pretty way of flourishing, truly!</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—And yet there is no other. In every country it is the +rich that enable the poor to live. This is the sole source of the +industry of commerce. The more industrious a nation itself is, the more +it gains from foreign countries. Could we, on our foreign trade, get ten +millions a year by the balance in our favor, there would, in twenty +years, be two hundred millions more in the nation. This would afford ten +livres a head more, on the supposition of an equitable distribution; +that is to say, that the dealers would make each poor person earn ten +livres the more, once paid, in the hopes of making still more +considerable gains. But commerce, like the fertility of the earth, has +its bounds, otherwise its progression would be <i>ad infinitum</i>. Nor, +besides, is it clear, that the balance of our trade is constantly +favorable to us; there are times in which we lose.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—I have heard much talk of population. If our +inhabitants were doubled, so that we numbered forty millions of people +instead of twenty, what would be the consequence?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—It would be this: that, one with another, each would +have, instead of forty, but twenty crowns to live upon; or that the land +should produce double the crops it now does; or that there should be +double the national industry, or of gain from foreign countries; or that +half of the people should be sent to America; or that one half of the +nation should eat the other.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Let us then remain satisfied with our twenty +millions of inhabitants, and with our hundred and twenty livres a head, +distributed as it shall please the Lord. Yet this situation is a sad +one, and your iron age is hard indeed.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—There is no nation that is better off; and there are +many that are worse. Do you believe that there is in the North +wherewithal to afford to each inhabitant the value of an hundred and +twenty of our livres a year? If they had had the equivalent of this, the +Huns, the Vandals, and the Franks would not have deserted their country, +in quest of establishments elsewhere, which they conquered, fire and +sword in hand.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—If I were to listen to you, you would persuade +me presently that I am happy with my hundred and twenty livres.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—If you would but think yourself happy, you would then +be so.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—A man cannot imagine what actually is not, +unless he be mad.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—I have already told you, that in order to be more at +your ease, and more happy than you are, you should take a wife; to which +I tack, however, this clause, that she has, as well as you, one hundred +and twenty livres a year; that is to say, four acres at ten crowns an +acre. The ancient Romans had each but one. If your children are +industrious, they can each earn as much by their working for others.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—So that they may get money, without others +losing it.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Such is the law of all nations: there is no living +but on these terms.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—And must my wife and I give each of us the +half of our produce to the legislative and executive power, and the new +ministers of state rob us of the price of our hard labor, and of the +substance of our poor children, before they are able to get their +livelihood? Pray, tell me, how much money will these new ministers of +ours bring into the king's coffers, by this <i>jure divino</i> system?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—You pay twenty crowns on four acres, which bring you +in forty. A rich man, who possesses four hundred acres will, by the new +tariff, pay two thousand crowns; and the whole fourscore millions of +acres will yield to the king, twelve hundred millions of livres a year, +or four hundred millions of crowns.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—That appears to me impracticable and +impossible.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—And very much you are in the right to think so: and +this impossibility is a geometrical demonstration that there is a +fundamental defect in the calculation of our new ministers.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Is not there also demonstrably a prodigious +injustice in taking from me the half of my corn, of my hemp, of the wool +of my sheep, etc., and, at the same time, to require no aid from those +who shall have gained ten, twenty, or thirty thousand livres a year, by +my hemp, of which they will have made linen,—by my wool, of which they +will have made cloth,—by my corn, which they will have sold at so much +more than it cost them?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—The injustice of this administration is as evident as +its calculation is erroneous. It is right to favor industry; but opulent +industry ought to contribute to support the state. This industry will +have certainly taken from you a part of your one hundred and twenty +livres, and appropriated that part to itself, in selling you your shirts +and your coat twenty times dearer than they would have cost you, if you +had made them yourself. The manufacturer who shall have enriched +himself, at your expense, will, I allow, have also paid wages to his +workmen, who had nothing of themselves, but he will, every year, have +sunk, and put by a sum that will, at length, have produced to him thirty +thousand livres a year. This fortune then he will have acquired at your +expense. Nor can you ever sell him the produce of your land dear enough +to reimburse you for what he will have got by you; for were you to +attempt such an advance of your price, he would procure what he wanted +cheaper from other countries. A proof of which is, that he remains +constantly possessor of his thirty thousand livres a year, and you of +your one hundred and twenty livres, that often diminish, instead of +increasing.</p> + +<p>It is then necessary and equitable, that the refined industry of the +trader should pay more than the gross industry of the farmer. The same +is to be said of the collectors of the revenue. Your tax had previously +been but twelve livres, before our great ministers were pleased to take +from you twenty crowns. On these twelve livres, the collector retained +tenpence, or ten <i>sols</i> for himself. If in your province there were five +hundred thousand souls, he will have gained two hundred and fifty +thousand livres a year. Suppose he spends fifty thousand, it is clear, +that at the end of ten years he will be two millions in pocket. It is +then but just that he should contribute his proportion, otherwise, every +thing would be perverted, and go to ruin.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—I am very glad you have taxed the officer of +the revenue. It is some relief to my imagination. But since he has so +well increased his superfluity, what shall I do to augment my small +modicum?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—I have already told you, by marrying, by laboring, by +trying to procure from your land some sheaves of corn in addition to +what it previously produced.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Well! granted then that I shall have been duly +industrious; that all my countrymen will have been so too; and that the +legislative and executive power shall have received a good round tax; +how much will the nation have gained at the end of the year?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Nothing at all; unless it shall have carried on a +profitable foreign trade. But life will have been more agreeable in it. +Every one will, respectively, in proportion, have had more clothes, more +linen, more movables than he had before. There will have been in the +nation a more abundant circulation. The wages would have been, in +process of time, augmented, nearly in proportion to the number of the +sheaves of corn, of the tods of wool, of the ox-hides, of the sheep and +goats, that will have been added, of the clusters of grapes that will +have been squeezed in the wine-press. More of the value of commodities +will have been paid to the king in money, and the king will have +returned more value to those he will have employed under his orders; but +there will not be half a crown the more in the kingdom.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—-What will then remain to the government at +the end of the year?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Once more, nothing. This is the case of government in +general. It never lays by anything. It will have got its living, that is +to say, its food, raiment, lodging, movables. The subject will have done +so too. Where a government amasses treasure, it will have squeezed from +the circulation so much money as it will have amassed. It will have made +so many wretched, as it will have put by forty crowns in its coffers.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—At this rate, then, Henry IV. was but a +mean-spirited wretch, a miser, a plunderer, for I have been told that he +had chested up in the Bastile, above fifty millions of livres according +to our present currency.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—He was a man as good, and as prudent, as he was +brave. He was preparing to make a just war, and by amassing in his +coffers twenty-two millions of the currency of that time, besides which +he had twenty more to receive, which he left in circulation, he spared +the people above a hundred millions that it would have cost, if he had +not taken those useful measures. He made himself morally sure of success +against an enemy who had not taken the like precaution. The +probabilities were prodigiously in his favor. His twenty-two millions, +in bank, proved that there was then in this kingdom, twenty-two millions +of surplusage of the territorial produce, so that no one was a sufferer.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—My father then told me the truth, when he said +that the subject was in proportion more rich under the administration of +the Duke of Sully than under that of our new ministers, who had laid on +the <i>single</i> tax, the <i>sole</i> tax, and who, out of my forty crowns, have +taken away twenty. Pray, tell me, is there another nation in the world +that enjoys this precious advantage of the <i>sole tax</i>?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Not one opulent nation. The English, who are not much +giving to laughing, could not, however, help bursting out, when they +heard that men of intelligence, among us, had proposed this kind of +administration. The Chinese exact a tax from all the foreign trading +ships that resort to Canton. The Dutch pay, at Nangazaqui, when they are +received in Japan, under pretext that they are not Christians. The +Laplanders, and the Samoieds, are indeed subjected to a sole tax in +sables or marten-skins. The republic of St. Marino pays nothing more +than tithes for the maintenance of that state in its splendor.</p> + +<p>There is, in Europe, a nation celebrated for its equity and its valor, +that pays no tax. This is Switzerland. But thus it has happened. The +people have put themselves in the place of the Dukes of Austria and of +Zeringue. The small cantons are democratical, and very poor. Each +inhabitant pays but a trifling sum toward the support of this little +republic. In the rich cantons, the people are charged, for the state, +with those duties which the Archdukes of Austria and the lords of the +land used to exact. The protestant cantons are, in proportion, twice as +rich as the catholic, because the state, in the first, possesses the +lands of the monks. Those who were formerly subjects to the Archdukes of +Austria, to the Duke of Zeringue, and to the monks, are now the subjects +of their own country. They pay to that country the same tithes, the same +fines of alienation, that they paid to their former masters; and as the +subjects, in general, have very little trade, their merchandise is +liable to no charges, except some small staple duties. The men make a +trade of their courage, in their dealings with foreign powers, and sell +themselves for a certain term of years, which brings some money into +their country at our expense: and this example is as singular a one in +the civilized world, as is the sole tax now laid on by our new +legislators.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—So, sir, the Swiss are not plundered, <i>jure +divino</i>, of one-half of their goods; and he that has four cows in +Switzerland is not obliged to give two of them to the state?</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—Undoubtedly, not. In one canton, upon thirteen tons +of wine, they pay one, and drink the other twelve. In another canton, +they pay the twelfth, and drink the remaining eleven.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—Why am not I a Swiss? That cursed tax, that +single and singularly iniquitous tax, that has reduced me to beggary! +But then again, three or four hundred taxes, of which it is impossible +for me to retain or pronounce the bare names, are they more just and +more tolerable? Was there ever a legislator, who, in founding a state, +wished to create counselors to the king, inspectors of coal-meters, +gaugers of wine, measurers of wood, searchers of hog-tongues, +comptrollers of salt butter? or to maintain an army of rascals, twice as +numerous as that of Alexander, commanded by sixty generals, who lay the +country under contribution, who gain, every day, signal victories, who +take prisoners, and who sometimes sacrifice them in the air, or on a +boarded stage, as the ancient Scythians did, according to what my vicar +told me?</p> + +<p>Now, was such a legislation, against which so many outcries were raised, +and which caused the shedding of so many tears, much better than the +newly imposed one, which at one stroke, cleanly and quietly takes away +half of my subsistence? I am afraid, that on a fair liquidation, it will +be found that under the ancient system of the revenue, they used to +take, at times and in detail, three-quarters of it.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—<i>Iliacos intra muros peccatur et extra. Est modus in +retus. Caveas fine quidnimie.</i></p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—I have learned a little of history, and +something of geometry; but I do not understand a word of Latin.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—The sense is, pretty nearly, as follows. <i>There is +wrong on both sides. Keep to a medium in every thing. Nothing too much.</i></p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—I say, nothing too much; that is really my +situation; but the worst of it is, I have not enough.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—I allow that you must perish of want, and I too, and +the state too, if the new administration should continue only two years +longer; but it is to be hoped heaven will have mercy on us.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS</span>.—We pass our lives in hope, and die hoping to +the last. Adieu, sir, you have enlightened me, but my heart is grieved.</p> + +<p><span class="small">THE GEOMETRICIAN</span>.—This is, indeed, often the fruit of knowledge.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 380px;"> +<a name="Palace_of_the_barefooted_Carmelites" id="Palace_of_the_barefooted_Carmelites"></a> +<img src="images/img_044_carmelites.jpg" width="380" alt="Palace of the barefooted Carmelites." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Palace of the barefooted Carmelites.—"<i>What would you +please to have, my son?</i>"—"<i>A morsel of bread, my reverend father. The +new edicts have stripped me of everything.</i>"—"<i>Son, know that we +ourselves beg charity; we do not bestow it</i>."</span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IV" id="IV"></a>IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">AN ADVENTURE WITH A CARMELITE.</span></h4> + + +<p>When I had thanked the academician of the Academy of Sciences, for +having set me right, I went away quite out of heart, praising +providence, but muttering between my teeth these doleful words: "<i>What! +to have no more than forty crowns a year to live on, nor more than +twenty-two years to live!</i> Alas! may our life be yet shorter, since it +is to be so miserable!"</p> + +<p>As I was saying this, I found myself just opposite a very superb house. +Already was I feeling myself pressed by hunger. I had not so much as the +hundred and twentieth part of the sum that by right belongs to each +individual. But as soon as I was told that this was the palace of my +reverend fathers, the bare-footed Carmelites, I conceived great hopes, +and said to myself, since these saints are humble enough to go +bare-footed, they will be charitable enough to give me a dinner.</p> + +<p>I rang. A Carmelite came to the door.</p> + +<p>"What would you please to have, my son?"</p> + +<p>"A morsel of bread, my reverend father. The new edicts have stripped me +of every thing."</p> + +<p>Son, know that we ourselves beg charity; we do not bestow it."<a name="FNanchor_1_24" id="FNanchor_1_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_24" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></p> + +<p>"What! while your holy institute forbids you to wear shoes, you have the +house of a prince, and can you refuse to me a meal?"</p> + +<p>"My son, it is true, we go without stockings and shoes; that is an +expense the less; we feel no more cold in our feet than in our hands. +As to our fine house, we built it very easily, as we have a hundred +thousand livres a year of income from houses in the same street."</p> + +<p>"So, then! you suffer me to die of hunger, while you have an income of a +hundred thousand livres! I suppose you pay fifty thousand of these to +the new government?"</p> + +<p>"Heaven preserve us from paying a single farthing! It is only the +produce of the land cultivated by laborious hands, callous with work, +and moistened with tears, that owes taxes to the legislative and +executive power. The alms which have been bestowed upon us, have enabled +us to build those houses, by the rent of which we get a hundred thousand +livres a year. But these alms, coming from the fruits of the earth, and +having, consequently, already paid the tax, ought not to pay twice. They +have sanctified the faithful believers, who have impoverished themselves +to enrich us, and we continue to beg charity, and to lay under +contribution the Fauxbourg of St. Germain, in order to sanctify a still +greater number of the faithful believers."<a name="FNanchor_2_25" id="FNanchor_2_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_25" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p> + +<p>Having thus spoken, the Carmelite politely shut the door in my face.</p> + +<p>I then passed along and stopped before the <i>Hôtel</i> of the <i>Mousquetaires +gris</i>, and related to those gentlemen what had just happened to me. They +gave me a good dinner and half a crown, (<i>un ecu</i>). One of them proposed +to go directly and set fire to the convent; but a musqueteer, more +discreet than he, remonstrated with him, insisting that the time for +action had not yet arrived, and implored him to wait patiently a little +longer.<a name="FNanchor_3_26" id="FNanchor_3_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_26" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> +<br /><br /></p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_24" id="Footnote_1_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_24"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Victor Hugo in his poem, <i>Christ at the Vatican</i>, +(translated by G.B. Burleigh,) rebukes this inhuman spirit of monkish +greed and avarice, which always receives but neves gives in return. In +the poem, Christ is represented as saying: +</p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 13em;">"——I have said,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">'I will have mercy and not sacrifice;'—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Have said, 'Give freely what, without a price,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Was given to you.' To my redeemed, instead,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">You sell baptism upon their natal bed;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Sell to the sinner void indulgences;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">To lovers sell the natural right to wed;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Sell to the dying the privilege of decease,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">And sell your funeral masses to the dead!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Your prayers and masses and communions sell;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Beads, benedictions, crosses; in your eyes</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">Nothing is sacred,—all is merchandise."—E.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_25" id="Footnote_2_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_25"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> In a recent number of <i>The Nineteenth Century</i>, Mr. Alex. +A. Knox, in an able criticism on the writings of Voltaire, says very +truly: +</p><p> +"It should not be forgotten that in his day a very large portion of the +soil of France was in the hands of the clergy, free from all burdens, +save in so far as the clergy chose to execute them by the way of +'gratuitous gifts.' The condition of the French peasant was frightful. +Arthur Young, Dr. Moore, and others have described it at a somewhat +later date, but it was even so in Voltaire's time. Of course the +'clerical immunities' were far from being the only cause of all this +misery; but they were a frightful addition to it."</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_26" id="Footnote_3_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_26"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> The degradation of labor, and the corruption and injustice +of the papal priesthood, were the inciting causes of the great +revolution in France, which at length overturned the monarchy, and +convulsed, for so long a period, every nation in Europe. In reading this +romance of the hardships of the laborer, we may learn to comprehend the +true principles of Voltaire, and recognize his great benevolence and +sympathy with suffering and distress. We may also listen to the first +faint mutterings of the terrible storm of blood and retribution, that +was so soon to burst over unhappy France, and overwhelm in its lurid +course all ranks and conditions of mankind—the innocent and the guilty, +the oppressed and the oppressor, the peasant and the priest.—E. +</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="V" id="V"></a>V.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">AUDIENCE OF THE COMPTROLLER GENERAL.</span></h4> + + +<p>I went, with my half-crown, to present a petition to the comptroller +general, who was that day giving audience.</p> + +<p>His anti-chamber was filled with people of all kinds. There were there +especially some with more bluff faces, more prominent bellies, and more +arrogant looks than my man of eight millions. I durst not draw near to +them; I saw them, but they did not observe me.</p> + +<p>A monk, a great man for tithes, had begun a suit at law against certain +subjects of the state, whom he called his tenants. He had already a +larger income than the half of his parishioners put together, and was +moreover lord of the manor. His claim was, that whereas his vassals had, +with infinite pains, converted their heaths into vineyards, they owed +him a tithe of the wine, which, taking into the account the price of +labor, of the vine-props, of the casks and cellarage, would carry off +above a quarter of the produce.</p> + +<p>"But," said he, "as the tithes are due, <i>jure divino</i>, I demand the +quarter of the substance of my tenants, in the name of God."</p> + +<p>The minister of the revenue said to him, "I see how charitable you are."</p> + +<p>A farmer-general, extremely well-skilled in assessments, interposed, +saying:</p> + +<p>"Sir, that village can afford nothing to this monk; as I have, but the +last year, made the parishioners pay thirty-two taxes on their wine, +besides their over-consumption of the allowance for their own drinking. +They are entirely ruined. I have seized and sold their cattle and +movables, and yet they are still my debtors. I protest, then, against +the claim of the reverend father."</p> + +<p>"You are in the right," answered the minister of the revenue, "to be his +rival; you both equally love your neighbor, and you both edify me."</p> + +<p>A third, a monk and lord of the manor, whose tenants were in mortmain, +was waiting for a decree of the council that should put him in +possession of all the estate of a Paris cockney, who having, +inadvertently, lived a year and a day in a house subject to this +servitude, and inclosed within the hands of this priest, had died at the +year's end. The monk was claiming all the estate of this cockney, and +claiming it <i>jure divino</i>.</p> + +<p>The minister found by this, that the heart of this monk was as just and +as tender as those of the others.</p> + +<p>A fourth, who was comptroller of the royal domains, presented a specious +memorial, in which he justified himself for his having reduced twenty +families to beggary. They had inherited from their uncles, their aunts, +their brothers, or cousins; and were liable to pay the duties. The +officers of the domain had generously proved to them, that they had not +set the full value on their inheritances,—that they were much richer +than they believed, and, consequently, having condemned them to a triple +fine, ruined them in charges, and threw the heads of the families into +jail, he had bought their best possessions without untying his +purse-strings.</p> + +<p>The comptroller general said to him, in a tone indeed rather bitter:</p> + +<p><i>"Euge, controlleur bone et fidelis, quia supra pauca fuisti fidelis, +fermier-general te constituam."</i></p> + +<p>But to a master of the requests, who was standing at his side, he said +in a low voice:</p> + +<p>"We must make these blood-suckers, sacred and profane, disgorge. It is +time to give some relief to the people, who, without our care, and our +equity, would have nothing to live upon in this world at least, however +they might fare in the other."</p> + +<p>Some, of profound genius, presented projects to him. One of them had +imagined a scheme to lay a tax on wit. "All the world," said he, "will +be eager to pay, as no one cares to pass for a fool."</p> + +<p>The minister declared to him, "I exempt you from the tax."</p> + +<p>Another proposed to lay the <i>only</i> tax upon songs and laughing, in +consideration that we were the merriest nation under the sun, and that a +song was a relief and comfort for every thing. But the minister +observed, that of late there were hardly any songs of pleasantry made; +and he was afraid that, to escape the tax, we would become too serious.</p> + +<p>The next that presented himself, was a trusty and loyal subject, who +offered to raise for the king three times as much, by making the nation +pay three times less. The minister advised him to learn arithmetic.</p> + +<p>A fourth proved to the king in the way of <i>friendship</i>, that he could +not raise above seventy-five millions, but that he was going to procure +him two hundred and twenty-five. "You will oblige me in this," said the +minister, "as soon as we shall have paid the public debts."</p> + +<p>At length, who should appear but a deputy of the new author, who makes +the legislative power co-proprietor of all our lands, <i>jure divino</i>, and +who was giving the king twelve hundred millions of revenue. I knew the +man again who had flung me into prison for not having paid my twenty +crowns, and throwing myself at the feet of the comptroller general, I +implored his justice; upon which, he burst out a laughing, and telling +me, it was a trick that had been played me, he ordered the doers of this +mischief in jest to pay me a hundred crowns damages, and exempted me +from the land-tax for the rest of my life. I said to him, "God bless +your honor!"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VI" id="VI"></a>VI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE MAN OF FORTY CROWNS MARRIES, BECOMES A FATHER, AND DESCANTS UPON THE +MONKS.</span></h4> + + +<p>The Man of Forty Crowns having improved his understanding, and having +accumulated a moderate fortune, married a very pretty girl, who had an +hundred crowns a year of her own. As soon as his son was born, he felt +himself a man of some consequence in the state. He was famous for making +the best baskets in the world, and his wife was an excellent seamstress. +She was born in the neighborhood of a rich abbey of a hundred thousand +livres a year. Her husband asked me one day, why those gentlemen, who +were so few in number, had swallowed so many of the forty crown lots? +"Are they more useful to their country than I am?" "No, dear neighbor." +"Do they, like me, contribute at least to the population of it?" "No." +"Do they cultivate the land? Do they defend the state when it is +attacked?" "No, they pray to God for us." "Well, then, I will pray to +God for us." "Well, then, I will pray to God for them, in return."</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—How many of these useful gentry, men and women, may the +convents in this kingdom contain?</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—By the lists of the superintendents, taken toward the end of +the last century, there were about ninety thousand.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—According to our ancient account, they ought not, at forty +crowns a head, to possess above ten millions eight hundred thousand +livres. Pray, how much have they actually?</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—They have to the amount of fifty millions, including the +masses, and alms to the mendicant monks, who really lay a considerable +tax on the people. A begging friar of a convent in Paris, publicly +bragged that his wallet was worth fourscore thousand livres a year.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—Let us now consider how much the repartition of fifty +millions among ninety thousand shaven crowns gives to each? Let us see, +is it not five hundred and fifty-five livres?</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—Yes, and a considerable sum it is in a numerous society, where +the expenses even diminish by the quantity of consumers; for ten persons +may live together much cheaper than if each had his separate lodging and +table.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—So that the ex-Jesuits, to whom there is now assigned a +pension of four hundred livres, are then really losers by the bargain.</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—I do not think so; for they are almost all of them retired +among their friends, who assist them. Several of them say masses for +money, which they did not do before; others get to be preceptors; some +are maintained by female bigots; each has made a shift for himself: and, +perhaps, at this time, there are few of them, who have tasted of the +world, and of liberty, that would resume their former chains. The +monkish life, whatever they may say, is not at all to be envied. It is a +maxim well known, that the monks are a kind of people who assemble +without knowing, live without loving, and die without regretting each +other.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—You think, then, that it would be doing them a great service, +to strip them of all their monks' habits?</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—They would undoubtedly gain much by it, and the state still +more. It would restore to the country a number of subjects, men and +women, who have rashly sacrificed their liberty, at an age to which the +laws do not allow a capacity of disposing of tenpence a year income. It +would be taking these corpses out of their tombs, and afford a true +resurrection. Their houses might become hospitals, or be turned into +places for manufactures. Population would be increased. All the arts +would be better cultivated. One might at least diminish the number of +these voluntary victims by fixing the number of novices. The country +would have subjects more useful, and less unhappy. Such is the opinion +of all the magistrates, such the unanimous wish of the public, since its +understanding is enlightened. The example of England, and other states, +is an evident proof of the necessity of this reformation. What would +England do at this time, if, instead of forty thousand seamen, it had +forty thousand monks? The more they are multiplied, the greater need +there is of a number of industrious subjects. There are undoubtedly +buried in the cloisters many talents, which are lost to the state. To +make a kingdom nourish, there should be the fewest priests and the most +artisans possible. So far ought the ignorance and barbarism of our +forefathers to be from being any rule for us, that they ought rather to +be an admonition to us, to do what they would do, if they were in our +place, with our improvements in knowledge.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—It is not then out of hatred to monks that you wish to +abolish them, but out of love to your country? I think as you do. I +would not have my son a monk. And if I thought I was to rear children +for nothing better than a cloister, I would not wish to become a father.</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—Where in fact, is that good father of a family that would not +groan to see his son and daughter lost to society? This is seeking the +safety of the soul. It may be so, but a soldier that seeks the safety of +his body, when his duty is to fight, is punished. We are all soldiers of +the state; we are in the pay of society; we become deserters when we +quit it.</p> + +<p>Why, then, has monkishness prevailed? Because, since the days of +Constantine, the government has been everywhere absurd and detestable; +because the Roman empire came to have more monks than soldiers; because +there were a hundred thousand of them in Egypt alone; because they were +exempt from labor and taxes; because the chiefs of those barbarous +nations which destroyed the empire, having turned Christians, in order +to govern Christians, exercised the most horrid tyranny; because, to +avoid the fury of these tyrants, people threw themselves in crowds into +cloisters, and so, to escape one servitude, put themselves into another; +because the popes, by instituting so many different orders of sacred +drones, contrived to have so many subjects to themselves in other +states; because a peasant likes better to be called reverend father, and +to give his benedictions, than to follow a plough's tail; because he +does not know that the plough is nobler than a monk's habit; because he +had rather live at the expense of fools than by a laborious occupation; +in short, because he does not know that, in making a monk of himself, he +is preparing for himself unhappy days, of which the sad groundwork will +be nothing but a <i>tedium vitæ</i> and repentance.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—I am satisfied. Let us have no monks, for the sake of their +own happiness, as well as ours. But I am sorry to hear it said by the +landlord of our village, who is father to four boys and three girls, +that he does not know how to dispose of his daughters, unless he makes +nuns of them.</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—This too often repeated plea is at once inhuman, detrimental to +the country, and destructive to society. Every time that it can be said +of any condition of life whatever, that if all the world were to embrace +it mankind would perish, it is proved that that condition is a worthless +one, and that whoever embraces it does all the mischief to mankind that +in him lies.</p> + +<p>Now, it being a clear consequence that if all the youth of both sexes +were to shut themselves up in cloisters the world would perish, monkery +is, if it were but in that light alone, the enemy to human nature, +independently of the horrid evils it has formerly caused.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—Might not as much be said of soldiers?</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 414px;"> +<a name="Entering_the_convent" id="Entering_the_convent"></a> +<img src="images/img_045_convent.jpg" width="414" alt="Entering the convent." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Entering the convent.—"There is a necessity for houses +of retreat for old age, for infirmity, for deformity. But by the most +detestable of all abuses, these foundations are for well-made persons. +Let a hump-backed woman present herself to enter into a cloister, and +she will be rejected with contempt, unless she will give an immense +portion to the house."</span> +</div> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>. Certainly not; for if every subject carried arms in his turn, as +formerly was the practice in all republics, and especially in that of +Rome, the soldier is but the better farmer for it. The soldier, as a +good subject ought to do, marries, and fights for his wife and children. +Would it were the will of heaven that every laborer was a soldier and a +married man! They would make excellent subjects. But a monk, merely in +his quality of a monk, is good for nothing but to devour the substance +of his countryman. There is no truth more generally acknowledged.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—But, sir, the daughters of poor gentlemen, who cannot portion +them off in marriage, what are they to do?</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—-Do! They should do, as has a thousand times been said, like +the daughters in England, in Scotland, Ireland, Switzerland, Holland, +half Germany, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Tartary, Turkey, Africa, and in +almost all the rest of the globe. They will prove much better wives, +much better mothers, when it shall have been the custom, as in Germany, +to marry women without fortune. A woman, industrious and a good +economist, will do more good in a house, than a daughter of a farmer of +the revenue, who spends more in superfluities than she will have brought +of income to her husband.</p> + +<p>There is a necessity for houses of retreat for old age, for infirmity, +for deformity. But by the most detestable of all abuses, these +foundations are for well-made persons. Let a hump-backed old woman +present herself to enter into a cloister, and she will be rejected with +contempt, unless she will give an immense portion to the house. But what +do I say? Every nun must bring her dower with her; she is else the +refuse of the convent. Never was there a more intolerable abuse.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—Thank you, sir. I swear to you that no daughter of mine shall +be a nun. They shall learn to spin, to sew, to make lace, to embroider, +to render themselves useful. I look on the vows of convents to be crimes +against one's country and one's self. Now, sir, I beg you will explain +to me, how comes it that a certain writer, in contradiction to human +kind, pretends that monks are useful to the population of a state, +because their buildings are kept in better repair than those of the +nobility, and their lands better cultivated?</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—-He has a mind to divert himself; he knows but too well, that +ten families who have each five thousand livres a year in land, are a +hundred, nay, a thousand times more useful than a convent that enjoys +fifty thousand livres a year, and which has always a secret hoard. He +cries up the fine houses built by the monks, and it is precisely those +fine houses that provoke the rest of the subjects; it is the very cause +of complaint to all Europe. The vow of poverty condemns those palaces, +as the vow of humility protests against pride, and as the vow of +extinguishing one's race is in opposition to nature.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—Bless me! Who can this be that advances so strange a +proposition?</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>. It is the <i>friend of mankind</i>, [Monsieur le M. de Mirabeau, in +his book entitled <i>L'Ami des Hommes</i>. It is against this marquis that the +jest on the <i>only tax</i> is leveled; a tax proposed by him], or rather the +friend of the monks.</p> + +<p><span class="small">QUESTION</span>.—I begin to think it advisable to be very distrustful of +books.</p> + +<p><span class="small">ANSWER</span>.—The best way is to make use, with regard to them, of the same +caution, as with men. Choose the most reasonable, examine them, and +never yield unless to evidence.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VII" id="VII"></a>VII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">ON TAXES PAID TO A FOREIGN POWER.</span></h4> + + +<p>About a month ago, the Man of Forty Crowns came to me, holding both his +sides, which seemed ready to burst with laughing. In short, he laughed +so heartily that I could not help laughing also, without knowing at +what. So true it is, that man is born an imitative animal, that instinct +rules us, and that the great emotions of the soul are catching. <i>Ut +ridentibus arrident, ita flentibus adflent, Humani vultus.</i></p> + +<p>When he had had his laugh out, he told me that he had just come from +meeting with a man who called himself the prothonotary of the Holy See, +and that this personage was sending away a great sum of money to an +Italian, three hundred leagues off, in the name and behalf of a +Frenchman, on whom the king had bestowed a small fief or fee; because +the said Frenchman could never enjoy this benefit of the king's +conferring, if he did not give to this Italian the first year's income.</p> + +<p>"The thing," said I, "is very true; but it is not quite such a laughing +matter either. It costs France about four hundred thousand livres a +year, in petty duties of this kind; and in the course of two centuries +and a half, that this custom has lasted, we have already sent to Italy +fourscore millions."</p> + +<p>"Heavenly Father!" he exclaimed, "how many forty crowns would that make? +Some Italian, then, subdued us, I suppose, two centuries and a half ago, +and laid that tribute upon us!"</p> + +<p>"In good faith," answered I, "he used to impose on us in former times, +in a much more burthensome way. That is but a trifle in comparison to +what, for a long time, he levied on our poor nations of Europe."</p> + +<p>Then I related to him how those holy usurpations had taken place, and +came to be established. He knows a little of history, and does not want +for sense. He easily conceived that we had been slaves, and that we were +still dragging a little bit of our chain that we could not get rid of. +He spoke much and with energy, against this abuse; but with what respect +for religion in general. With what reverence did he express himself for +the bishops! How heartily did he wish them many forty crowns a year, +that they might spend them in their dioceses in good works.</p> + +<p>He also wished that all the country vicars might have a number of forty +crowns, that they might live with decency.</p> + +<p>"It is a sad thing," said he, "that a vicar should be obliged to dispute +with his flock for two or three sheaves of corn, and that he should not +be amply paid by the country. These eternal contests for imaginary +rights, for the tithes, destroy the respect that is owing to them. The +unhappy cultivator who shall have already paid to the collectors his +tenth penny, and the twopence a livre, and the tax, and the capitation, +and the purchase of his exemption from lodging soldiers,—after he shall +have lodged soldiers,—for this unfortunate man, I say, to see the vicar +take away in addition the tithe of his produce, he can no longer look on +him as his pastor, but as one that flays him alive,—that tears from +him the little skin that is left him. He feels but too sensible, that +while they are, <i>jure divino</i>, robbing him of his tenth sheaf, they have +the diabolical cruelty not to give him credit for all that it will have +cost him to make that sheaf grow. What then remains to him for himself +and family? Tears, want, discouragement, despair, and thus he dies of +fatigue and misery. If the vicar were paid by the country, he would be a +comfort to his parishioners, instead of being looked on by them as their +enemy."</p> + +<p>The worthy man melted as he uttered these words; he loved his country, +and the public good was his idol. He would sometimes emphatically say, +"What a nation would the French be if it pleased!" We went to see his +son, whom the mother, a very neat and clean woman, was nursing. "Alas!" +said the father, "here thou art, poor child, and hast nothing to pretend +to but twenty-three years of life, and forty crowns a year."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIII" id="VIII"></a>VIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">ON PROPORTIONS.</span></h4> + + +<p>The produce of the extremes is equal to the produce of the means: but +two sacks of corn stolen, are not, to those who stole them, as the loss +of their lives is to the interest of the person from whom they were +stolen.</p> + +<p>The prior of ——, from whom two of his domestic servants in the country +had stolen two measures of corn, has just had the two delinquents +hanged. This execution has cost him more than all his harvest has been +worth to him; and since that time he has not been able to get a servant.</p> + +<p>If the laws had ordained that such as stole their master's corn should +work in his grounds, during their lives in fetters, and with a bell at +their neck fixed to a collar, the prior would have been a considerable +gainer by it.</p> + +<p>"Terror should be preventively employed against crimes;" very true: but +work, on compulsion, and lasting shame, strike more terror than the +gallows.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 475px;"> +<a name="The_rack" id="The_rack"></a> +<img src="images/img_046_rack.jpg" width="475" alt="The rack." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The rack.—"I was summoned to give evidence against a +miller, who has been put to the torture, ordinary and extraordinary, and +who has been found innocent. I saw him faint away under redoubled +tortures. I heard the crash of his bones. His outcries and screams of +agony are not yet out of my ears; they haunt me. I shed tears for pity, +and shudder with horror."</span> +</div> + +<p>There was, some months ago at London, a malefactor who had been +condemned to be transported to America to work there at the sugar works +with the negroes. In England, any criminal, as in many other countries, +may get a petition presented to the king, either to obtain a free +pardon, or a mitigation of the sentence. This one presented a petition +to be hanged, alleging that he mortally hated work, and that he had +rather suffer strangling for a minute, than to make sugar all his +lifetime.</p> + +<p>Others may think otherwise, every one to his taste. But it has been +already said, and cannot be too often repeated, that a man hanged is +good for nothing, and that punishments ought to be useful.</p> + +<p>Some years ago, in Turkey, two young men were condemned to be impaled, +for having, (without taking off their caps,) stood to see the procession +of the Lama pass by. The Emperor of China, who is a man of very good +sense, said, that for his part, he should have condemned them to walk +bareheaded, in every public procession, for three months afterwards.</p> + +<p>"Proportion punishments to crimes," says the Marquis Beccaria; but those +who made the laws were not geometricians.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>I hate the laws of Draco, which punish equally crimes and faults, +wickedness and folly. Let us,—especially in all litigations,—in all +dissensions, in all quarrels,—distinguish the aggressor from the party +offended, the oppressor from the oppressed. An offensive war is the +procedure of a tyrant; he who defends himself is in the character of a +just man.</p> + +<p>As I was absorbed in these reflections, the Man of Forty Crowns came to +me all in tears. I asked, with emotion, if his son, who was by right to +live twenty-three years, was dead?</p> + +<p>"No," said he, "the little one is very well, and so is my wife; but I +was summoned to give evidence against a miller, who has been put to the +torture, ordinary and extraordinary, and who has been found innocent. I +saw him faint away under redoubled tortures. I heard the crash of his +bones. His outcries and screams of agony are not yet out of my ears; +they haunt me. I shed tears for pity, and shudder with horror."</p> + +<p>His tears drew mine. I trembled, too, like him; for I have naturally an +extreme sensibility.</p> + +<p>My memory then represented to me the dreadful fate of the Calas family! +A virtuous mother in irons,—her children in tears, and forced to fly, +her house given up to pillage,—a respectable father of a family broken +with torture, agonizing on a wheel, and expiring in the flames; a son +loaded with chains, and dragged before the judges, one of whom said to +him:</p> + +<p><i>"We have just now broken your father on the wheel; we will break you +alive too."</i></p> + +<p>I remembered the family of Sirven, who one of my friends met with among +the mountains covered with ice, as they were flying from the persecution +of a judge as ignorant as he was unjust. This judge (he told me) had +condemned an innocent family to death on a supposition, without the +least shadow of proof, that the father and mother, assisted by two of +their daughters, had cut the throat of the third, and drowned her +besides, for going to mass. I saw in judgments of this kind, at once an +excess of stupidity, of injustice, and of barbarity.</p> + +<p>The Man of Forty Crowns joined with me in pitying human nature. I had in +my pocket the discourse of an attorney-general of Dauphiny, which turned +upon very important matters. I read to him the following passages:</p> + +<p>"Certainly those must have been truly great men, who, at first, dared to +take upon themselves the office of governing their fellow creatures, and +to set their shoulders to the burthen of the public welfare; who, for +the sake of the good they meant to do to men, exposed themselves to +their ingratitude, and for the public repose renounced their own; who +made themselves, as one may say, middle-men between their +fellow-creatures and Providence, to compose for them, by artifice, a +happiness which Providence seems otherwise to have refused to them by +any other means.</p> + +<p>"What magistrate, was ever so careless of his responsibilities and +duties to humanity as to entertain such ideas? Could he, in the solitude +of his closet, without shuddering with horror and pity, cast his eyes on +those papers, the unfortunate monuments of gilt or of innocence? Should +he not think he hears a plaintive voice and groans issue from those +fatal writings, and press him to decide the destiny of a subject, of a +husband, of a father, or of a whole family? What judge can be so +unmerciful (if he is charged with but one single process) as to pass in +cold blood before the door of a prison? Is it I (must he say to himself) +who detain in that execrable place my fellow-creature, perhaps my +countryman, one of humankind, in short? Is it I that confine him every +day,—that shut those execrable doors upon him? Perhaps despair will +have seized him. He sends up to heaven my name loaded with his curses; +and doubtless calls to witness against me that great Judge of the world, +who observes us, and will judge us both."</p> + +<p>"Here a dreadful sight presents itself on a sudden to my eyes: The +judge, tired with interrogating bywords, has recourse to interrogation +by tortures. Impatient in his inquiries and researches, and perhaps +irritated at their inutility, he has brought to him torches, chains, +levers, and all those instruments invented for producing pain. An +executioner comes to interpose in the functions of the magistracy, and +terminates by violence a judicial interrogation.</p> + +<p>"Gentle philosophy! Thou who never seekest truth but with attention and +patience, couldst thou expect, in an age that takes thy name, that such +instruments would be employed to discover that truth?</p> + +<p>"Can it be really true, that our laws approve this inconceivable method, +and that custom consecrates it?</p> + +<p>"Their laws imitate their prejudices; their public punishments are as +cruel as their private vengeance; and the acts of their reason are +scarce less unmerciful than those of their passions. What can be the +cause of this strange contrariety? It is because our prejudices are +ancient, and our morality new; it is because we are as penetrated with +our opinions as we are inattentive to our ideas; it is because our +passion for pleasures hinders us from reflecting on our wants, and that +we are more eager to live than to direct ourselves right; it is, in a +word, because our morals are gentle without being good; it is because we +are polite, and are not so much as humane."</p> + +<p>These fragments, which eloquence had dictated to humanity, filled the +heart of my friend with a sweet consolation. He admired with tenderness.</p> + +<p>"What!" said he, "are such masterpieces as these produced in a province? +I had been told that Paris was all the world, or the only place in it."</p> + +<p>"It is," said I, "the only place for producing comic operas; but there +are at this time, in the provinces, magistrates who think, with the same +virtue and express themselves with the same force. Formerly, the oracles +of justice, like those of morality, were nothing but matter of mere +ridicule. Dr. Balordo declaimed at the bar, and Harlequin in the pulpit. +Philosophy has at length come, and has said, 'Do not speak in public, +unless to set forth new and useful truths, with the eloquence of +sentiment and of reason.'"</p> + +<p>But, say the praters, if we have nothing new to say, what then? Why, +hold your tongues, replies philosophy. All those vain discourses for +parade, that contain nothing but phrases, are like the fire on the eve +of St. John's, kindled on that day of the year in which there is the +least want of it to heat one's self—it causes no pleasure, and not so +much as the ashes of it remain.</p> + +<p>Let all France read good books. But notwithstanding all the progress of +the human understanding, there are few that read; and among those who +sometimes seek instruction, the reading for the most part is very ill +chosen. My neighbors, men and women, pass their time, after dinner, at +playing an English game, which I have much difficulty to pronounce, +since they call it whist. Many good citizens, many thick heads, who take +themselves for good heads, tell you, with an air of importance, that +books are good for nothing. But, Messieurs, the critics, do not you know +that you are governed only by books? Do not you know that the statutes, +the military code, and the gospel, are books on which you continually +depend? Read; improve yourselves. It is reading alone that invigorates +the understanding; conversation dissipates it; play contracts it.</p> + +<p>Thus it was that the Man of Forty Crowns proceeded to form, as one may +say, his head and his heart. He not only succeeded to the inheritance of +his two fair cousins, but he came also to a fortune left by a very +distant relation, who had been a sub-farmer of the military hospitals, +where he had fattened himself on the strict abstinence to which he had +put the wounded soldiers. This man never would marry, he never would own +any of his relations. He lived in the height of debauchery, and died at +Paris of a surfeit. He was, as any one may see, a very useful member of +the state.</p> + +<p>Our new philosopher was obliged to go to Paris to get possession of the +inheritance of this relative. At first, the farmers of the domain +disputed it with him. He had the good luck, however, to gain his cause, +and the generosity to give to the poor of his neighborhood, who had not +their contingent of forty crowns a year, a part of the spoils of the +deceased son of fortune. After which he set himself about satisfying his +passion for having a library.</p> + +<p>He read every morning and made extracts. In the evening, he consulted +the learned to know in what language the serpent had talked to our good +mother; whether the soul is in the callous body, or in the pineal gland; +whether St. Peter lived five and twenty years at Rome; what specific +difference there is between a throne and a dominion; and why the negroes +have a flat nose. He proposed to himself, besides, never to govern the +state, nor to write any pamphlets against new dramatic pieces. He was +called Mr. Andrew, which was his Christian name. Those who have known +him, do justice to his modesty and to his qualities, both natural and +acquired.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IX" id="IX"></a>IX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">A GREAT QUARREL.</span></h4> + + +<p>During the stay of Mr. Andrew at Paris, there happened a very important +quarrel. The point was, to decide whether Marcus Antoninus was an honest +man, and whether he was in hell, or in purgatory, or in limbo, waiting +till the day of resurrection. All the men of sense took the part of +Marcus Antoninus. They said: Antoninus has been always just, temperate, +chaste, and beneficent. It is true, he has not so good a place in +paradise as St. Anthony; for proportions ought to be observed, as has +been before recommended. But certainly the soul of Antoninus is not +roasting on a spit in hell. If he is in purgatory, he ought to be +delivered out of it; there need only be masses said for him. Let the +Jesuits, who have no longer anything to do, say three thousand masses +for the repose of the soul of Marcus Antoninus. Putting each mass at +fifteen pence, they will get two thousand two hundred and fifty livres +by it. Besides, some respect is owing to a crowned head. He should not +be lightly damned.</p> + +<p>The party opposed to these good people pretended, on the contrary, that +no compounding for salvation ought to be allowed to Marcus Antoninus; +that he was a heretic; that the Carpocratians and the Alcgi were not so +bad as he; that he had died without confession; that it was necessary to +make an example; that it was right to damn him, if but to teach better +manners to the emperors of China and Japan,—to those of Persia, Turkey, +and Morocco,—to the kings of England, Sweden, Denmark, and Prussia, to +the stadtholder of Holland,—to the avoyers of the Canton of Berne, who +no more go to confession than did the Emperor Marcus Antoninus; that, in +short, there is an unspeakable pleasure in passing sentence against a +dead sovereign, which one could not fulminate against him in his +lifetime, for fear of losing one's ears.</p> + +<p>This quarrel became as furious as was formerly that of the Ursulines and +the Annonciades. In short, it was feared that it would come to a schism, +as in the time of the hundred and one Mother Goose's tales, and of +certain bills payable to the bearer in the other world. To be sure, a +schism is something very terrible. The meaning of the word is a division +in opinion, and till this fatal moment all men had been agreed to think +the same thing.</p> + +<p>Mr. Andrew, who was an excellent member of society, invited the chiefs +of the two parties to sup with him. He is one of the best companions +that we have. His humor is gentle and lively; his gaiety is not noisy; +he is open, frank, and easy. He has not that sort of wit which seems to +aim at stifling that of others. The authority which he conciliates to +himself is due to nothing but his graceful manner, to his moderation, +and to a round good-natured face, which is quite persuasive. He could +have brought to sup cheerfully together a Corsican and a Genoese,—a +representative of Geneva and a negative man, the mufti and an +archbishop. He managed so dextrously, as to make the first stroke that +the disputants of both parties aimed at each other fall to the ground, +by turning off the discourse, and by telling a very diverting tale, +which pleased equally the damning and the damned. In short, when they +had got a little good-humored and elevated with wine, he made them sign +an agreement, that the soul of Marcus Antoninus should remain in <i>status +quo</i>—that is to say, nobody knows where,—till the day of final +judgment.</p> + +<p>The souls of the doctors of divinity returned quietly to their limbos +after supper, and all was calm. This adjustment of the quarrel did great +honor to the Man of Forty Crowns; and, since then, whenever any very +peevish virulent dispute arose among men of letters, or among men not of +letters, the advice given was, "<i>Gentlemen, go and sup at Master +Andrew's!</i>"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="X" id="X"></a>X.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">A RASCAL REPULSED.</span></h4> + + +<p>The reputation which Mr. Andrew had acquired for pacifying quarrels,—by +giving good suppers,—drew upon him last week a singular visit. A dark +complexioned man, shabbily enough dressed, rather crook-backed, with his +head leaning toward one shoulder, a haggard eye, and dirty hands, asked +to be invited to a supper with his enemies.</p> + +<p>"Who are your enemies?" said Mr. Andrew, "and who are you?"</p> + +<p>"Alas, sir," said he, "I am forced to confess that I am taken for one of +those wretches that compose libels to get bread, and who are forever +crying out,—'Religion,—Religion,—Religion,' in order to come at some +little benefice. I am accused of having caluminated some of the most +truly religious subjects, the most sincere adorers of divinity, and the +most honest men of the kingdom. It is true, sir, that in the heat of +composition, there often fall from the pen of those of my trade, certain +little inadvertencies or slips, which are taken for gross errors; and +some liberties taken with the truth, which are termed impudent lies. Our +zeal is looked upon in the light of a horrid mixture of villainy and +fanaticism. It has been alleged, that while we are insnaring the easy +faith of some silly old women, we are the scorn and execration of all +the men of worth who can read.</p> + +<p>"My enemies are the principal members of the most illustrious academies +of Europe, writers much esteemed, and beneficent members of society. I +have but just published a book under the title of <i>Anti-philosophical</i>. +I had nothing but the best intentions, and yet no one would buy my book. +Those to whom I made presents of it, threw it into the fire, telling me +it was not only anti-reasonable, but anti-christian, and extremely +anti-decent."</p> + +<p>"Well, then!" said Mr. Andrew to him, "follow the example of those to +whom you presented your libel, throw it into the fire, and let no more +be said of it. It is unnecessary to ask you to sup with men of wit, who +can never be your enemies, since they will never read you."</p> + +<p>"Could not you, sir, at least," said the hypocrite to him, "reconcile me +with the relations of the deceased Monsieur de Montesquieu, to whose +memory I offered an indignity, that I might give honor and glory to the +reverend father Rout."</p> + +<p>"Zounds!" said Mr. Andrew, "the reverend father Rout has been dead this +long time; go and sup with him."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XI" id="XI"></a>XI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE GOOD SENSE OF MR. ANDREW.</span></h4> + + +<p>But how greatly did the sense of Mr. Andrew improve in vigor from the +time he procured a library! He lives with books as with men, and is +careful in his choice of them. What a pleasure it is to gain +instruction, to enlarge one's mind by studying the best works of the +greatest authors.</p> + +<p>He congratulates himself on being born at a time when human reason is +tending toward perfection. "How unhappy should I have been," he used to +say, "if the age I live in had been that in which they used to condemn +to the galleys those who wrote against the categories of Aristotle."</p> + +<p>Distress had weakened the springs of Mr. Andrew's soul; but good fortune +restored their elasticity. There are many Andrews in the world to whom +nothing is wanting but a turn of the wheel of fortune to make of them +men of true merit. He is now well acquainted with all the affairs of +Europe, and especially with the progress of the human understanding.</p> + +<p>He recently remarked to me, that Reason travels by slow journeys from +north to south, in company with her two intimate friends, Experience and +Toleration. Agriculture and Commerce attend them. When Reason presented +herself in Italy, the congregation of the Index sternly repulsed her. +All she could do, was to secretly send some of her agents, who, in spite +of her enemies, do some good. Let but some years more pass, and it is to +be hoped that the country of the Scipios will no longer be that of +harlequins in monks' habits.</p> + +<p>She has sometimes met with cruel foes in France; but she has now so many +friends in that kingdom, that she stands a good chance of at length +becoming first minister there.</p> + +<p>When she presented herself in Bavaria and Austria, she found two or +three great wig-blocks that stared at her with stupid and astonished +eyes. Their greeting was: "Madam, we never heard of you; we do not know +you." Her answer to which was: "Gentlemen, in time you will come to know +me, and to love me. I have been well received at Berlin, at Moscow, at +Copenhagen, at Stockholm. It is long ago that I have been naturalized by +Act of Parliament in England, through the labors of Locke, Gordon, +Trenchard, Lord Shaftsbury, and a number of others of the same nation. +You will, some day or other, confer on me the like grant. I am the +daughter of Time. I expect every thing from my father."</p> + +<p>When she passed over the frontiers of Spain and Portugal, she blessed +God on observing that the fires of the Inquisition were less frequently +kindled. She rejoiced on seeing the Jesuits expelled; but was afraid +that, while the country had been cleared of the foxes, it was still left +exposed to the ravages of wolves.</p> + +<p>If she makes any fresh attempts to gain entrance into Italy it is +thought she will begin by establishing herself at Venice; and that she +will take up her abode in the kingdom of Naples, in spite of the +liquefaction of the saint's blood in that country, which awakens in her +mind mournful reflections on human credulity. It is pretended, that she +has an infallible secret for untying the strings of a crown, which are +entangled, nobody knows how, in those of a mitre.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XII" id="XII"></a>XII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">The GOOD SUPPER AT MR. ANDREW'S.</span></h4> + + +<p>We supped at Mr. Andrew's yesterday, together with a Doctor Sorbonne, +with Monsieur Pinto, the celebrated Jew, with the Chaplain of the +Protestant chapel of the Dutch Embassador, the secretary of the Prince +Galitzin of the Greek church, a Calvinist Swiss Captain, two +philosophers, and three Ladies of great wit.</p> + +<p>The supper was a very long one; and yet, so polite it must be owned we +are grown—so much is one afraid at supper to give any cause of offence +to one's brethren, that there was no more disputing upon religion than +as if not one of those at table had ever had any. It is not so with the +Regent Coge, and the ex-Jesuit Patouillet, and with all the animals of +that kind. Those pitiful creatures will say more stupidly abusive things +in one pamphlet of two pages, than the best company in Paris can say +agreeable and instructive ones in a supper of four hours. And what is +stranger yet, they dare not tell a man to his face, what they have the +impudence to print.</p> + +<p>The conversation turned at first on a piece of pleasantry in the Persian +Letters, in which it is repeated, after a number of grave personages, +that the world is not only growing worse, but that it is becoming +depopulated, so that if the proverb should have any truth in it, that +"the more fools there are," "the more laughter," laughing is likely to +be soon banished from the face of the earth.</p> + +<p>The Doctor of Sorbonne assured us that, in fact, the world was almost +reduced to nothing. He quoted the Father Petavius, who demonstrates that +in less than three hundred years, the descendants of one of the sons of +Noah (I forget whether it was Shem or Japhet), amounted to six hundred +and twelve millions three hundred and fifty-eight thousand true +believers within two hundred and eighty-five years after the universal +deluge.</p> + +<p>Mr. Andrew asked, why in the time of Philip de Bel, that is to say, +about three hundred years after Hugh Capet, there were not six hundred +and twenty-three thousand millions of princes of the royal family?</p> + +<p>"It is," said the Doctor of Sorbonne, "because the stock of faith has +greatly decreased."</p> + +<p>A great deal was said about Thebes and its hundred gates, and of the +million of soldiers that issued out of those gates with the twenty +thousand chariots of war.</p> + +<p>"Shut the book there," said Mr. Andrew. "Since I have taken to reading, +I beg to suspect that the same genius that wrote Garagantua, used of +yore to write all the histories."</p> + +<p>"But, in short," said one of the company, "Thebes, Memphis, Babylon, +Nineveh, Troy, Seleucia, were great cities once, and now no longer +exist."</p> + +<p>"Granted," answered the secretary of the Prince Galitzin; "but Moscow, +Constantinople, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Lyons, (which is better than +ever Troy was,) and all the towns of France, Germany, Spain, and the +North, were then deserts."</p> + +<p>The Swiss captain, a gentleman of great knowledge, owned to us, that +when his ancestors took it into their heads to quit their mountains and +their precipices, to go and take forcible possession, as was but +reasonable, of a finer country, Cæsar, who saw with his own eyes the +list of those emigrants, found that their number amounted to three +hundred and sixty-eight thousand, inclusive of the old, the children, +and the women. At this time, the single canton of Berne possesses as +many inhabitants, which is not quite the half of Switzerland, and I can +assure you, that the thirteen cantons have above seven hundred and +twenty thousand souls, including the natives who are serving or carrying +on business in other countries. From such data, gentlemen of learning +make absurd calculations, and they base fallacious systems on no better +footing.</p> + +<p>The question next agitated was, whether the citizens of Rome, in the +time of the Cæsars, were richer than the citizens of Paris, in the time +of Monsieur Silhouette?</p> + +<p>"Oh," says Mr. Andrew, "this is a point on which I have some call to +speak. I was a long time the Man of Forty Crowns; but I conceive that +the citizens of Rome had more. Those illustrious robbers on the highway +pillaged the finest countries of Asia, of Africa, and of Europe. They +lived splendidly on the produce of their rapines; but yet there were +doubtless some beggars at Rome. I am persuaded that, among those +conquerors of the world, there were some reduced to an income of forty +Crowns a year, as I formerly was."</p> + +<p>"Do you know," said a learned member of the Academy of Inscriptions and +Belles Lettres, "that it cost Lucullus for every supper he gave in the +saloon of Apollo, thirty-nine thousand three hundred and twelve livres +of our money; but that the celebrated epicurean Atticus did not expend +above two hundred and thirty livres a month for his table."</p> + +<p>"If that be true," said I, "he deserved to be president of the +Miser-society, lately established in Italy. I have read, as you have +done, in Florus, that incredible anecdote; but, perhaps Florus had never +supped with Atticus, or else his text, like so many others, has been +corrupted by copyists. No Florus shall ever make me believe that the +friend of Cæsar and of Pompey, of Cicero and of Antony, all of whom were +often entertained at his house, got off for something less than ten +Louis d'ors a month. <i>But thus exactly 'tis that history is written.</i>"</p> + +<p>Madam Andrew, for her part, told the learned member of the Academy, that +if he would keep her table for ten times as much, she would be greatly +obliged to him.</p> + +<p>I am persuaded, that this evening at Mr. Andrew's cost him as much as +the monthly expense of Atticus. As for the ladies, they expressed a +doubt whether the suppers of Rome were more agreeable than those of +Paris. The conversation was very gay, though leaning a little to the +learned. There was no talk of new fashions, nor of the ridiculous part +of any one's character or conduct, nor of the scandalous history of the +day.</p> + +<p>The question upon luxury was discussed and searched to the bottom. It +was mooted whether or not luxury had been the ruin of the Roman empire; +and it was proved that the two empires of the east and west owed their +destruction to nothing but to religious controversies, and to the monks; +and, in fact, when Alaric took Rome, its whole attention was engrossed +by theological disputes; when Mahomet took Constantinople, the monks +defended much better the eternity of the light of Mount Thabor, which +they saw on their navel,<a name="FNanchor_1_27" id="FNanchor_1_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_27" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> than they defended the town against the +Turks.</p> + +<p>One of our men of learning made a very significant remark. It was that +those two great empires were annihilated, but that the works of Virgil, +Horace, and Ovid still exist.</p> + +<p>From the age of Augustus, they made but one skip to the age of Louis the +XIVth. A lady put the question, why it was that with a great deal of wit +there was no longer produced scarcely any work of genius?</p> + +<p>Mr. Andrew answered, that it was because such works had been produced in +the last age. This idea was fine spun, and yet solidly true. It bore a +thorough handling. After that, they fell with some harshness upon a +Scotchman, who had taken it into his head to give rules to taste, and to +criticise the most admirable passages of Racine, without understanding +French. But there was one Denina still more severely treated. He had +abused Montesquieu's <i>Spirit of Laws</i>, without comprehending him, and +had especially censured what is the most liked and approved in that +work.</p> + +<p>This recalled to my mind Boileau's making a parade of his affected +contempt of Tasso. One of the company advanced that Tasso, with all his +faults, was as superior to Homer, as Montesquieu, with his still greater +imperfections, was above the farrago of Grotius. But there was presently +a strong opposition made to these false criticisms, dictated by national +hatred and prejudice. The Seignior Denina was treated as he deserved, +and as pedants ought to be by men of wit.</p> + +<p>It was especially remarked, with much sagacity, that the greatest part +of the literary works of this age, as well as of the conversations, +turned on the examination of the masterpieces of the last century; in +which we are like disinherited children, who are taking an estimate of +their father's estate. It was confessed that philosophy had made great +progress, but that the language and style was somewhat corrupted.</p> + +<p>It is the nature of all these conversations, to make transitions from +one subject to another. All these objects of curiosity, of science, and +of taste, soon vanished, to give way to the great scene which the +Empress of Russia, and the King of Poland, were giving to the world. +They had been just raising up and restoring the rights of oppressed +humanity, and establishing liberty of conscience in a part of the globe +of a much greater extent than the old Roman Empire. This service done +to human kind, this example given to so many courts, was mentioned with +the applause it deserved. Healths were drank to the philosophical +empress, to the royal philosopher, and to the philosophical primate, +with the wish of their having many imitators. Even the doctors of +Sorbonne admired them; for there are some persons of good sense in that +body, as there were formerly some men of wit among the Bœotians.</p> + +<p>The Russian secretary astonished us with a recital of the great +establishments they were forming in Russia. It was asked, why people +were in general more fond of reading the history of Charles the XIIth, +who passed his life in destroying, than that of Peter the Great, who +consumed his in creating? On this we concluded, that weakness and a +frivolous turn of mind are the causes of this preference; that Charles +the XIIth was the Don Quixote, and Peter the Solon of the North; that +superficial understandings prefer a wild extravagant heroism, to the +great views of a legislator: that the particulars of the foundation of a +town are less pleasing to them, than the rashness of a man, who, at the +head of only his domestics, braves an army of ten thousand Turks; and +that, in short, most readers love amusement better than instruction. +Thence it is, that a hundred women read <i>The Thousand and One Arabian +Nights</i>, for one that reads two chapters of Locke.</p> + +<p>What was not talked of at this supper? of which I shall long retain the +remembrance. It was also in course to say a word of the actors and +actresses, that eternal subject of the table-talk of Versailles and of +Paris. It was agreed, that a good declaimer was as rare as a good poet. +For my part, I must own that Plato's banquet could not have given me +more pleasure than that of Monsieur and Madame Andrew.</p> + +<p>Our very pretty gentlemen, and our very fine ladies, would, doubtless, +have found it dull, and been tired with it. They pretend to be the only +good company: but neither Mr. Andrew nor I ever willingly sup with that +kind of good company.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_27" id="Footnote_1_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_27"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> See Gibbon's <i>History of Christianity</i>, page 777, for an +account of the monks of Mount Athos, who adored the divine light, as +above stated.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 175px;"> +<img src="images/img_047_horseshoe.jpg" width="175" alt="horse-shoe" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 349px;"> +<a name="The_Priory_entrance" id="The_Priory_entrance"></a> +<img src="images/img_048_priory.jpg" width="349" alt="The Priory entrance." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The Priory entrance.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_HURON_OR_PUPIL_OF_NATURE" id="THE_HURON_OR_PUPIL_OF_NATURE"></a>THE HURON; OR, PUPIL OF NATURE.<a name="FNanchor_1_28" id="FNanchor_1_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_28" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></h2> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="Ih" id="Ih"></a>I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON ARRIVES IN FRANCE.</span></h4> + + +<p>One day, Saint Dunstan, an Irishman by nation, and a saint by trade, +left Ireland on a small mountain, which took its route toward the coast +of France, and set his saintship down in the bay of St. Malo. When he +had dismounted, he gave his blessing to the mountain, which, after some +profound bows, took its leave, and returned to its former place.</p> + +<p>Here St. Dunstan laid the foundation of a small priory, and gave it the +name of the Priory Mountain, which it still keeps, as every body knows.</p> + +<p>In the year 1689, the fifteenth day of July, in the evening, the abbot +Kerkabon, prior of our Lady of the Mountain, happened to take the air +along the shore with Miss Kerkabon, his sister. The prior, who was +becoming aged, was a very good clergyman, beloved by his neighbors. What +added most to the respect that was paid him, was, that among all his +clerical neighbors, he was the only one that could walk to his bed after +supper. He was tolerably read in theology; and when he was tired of +reading St. Augustin, he refreshed himself with Rabelais. All the world +spoke well of him.</p> + +<p>Miss Kerkabon, who had never been married, notwithstanding her hearty +wishes so to be, had preserved a freshness of complexion in her +forty-fifth year. Her character was that of a good and sensible woman. +She was fond of pleasure, and was a devotee.</p> + +<p>As they were walking, the prior, looking on the sea, said to his sister:</p> + +<p>"It was here, alas! that our poor brother embarked with our dear +sister-in-law, Madam Kerkabon, his wife, on board the frigate 'Swallow,' +in 1669, to serve the king in Canada. Had he not been killed, probably +he would have written to us."</p> + +<p>"Do you believe," says Miss Kerkabon, "that our sister-in-law has been +eaten by the Cherokees, as we have been told?"</p> + +<p>"Certain it is, had she not been killed, she would have come back. I +shall weep for her all my lifetime. She was a charming woman; and our +brother, who had a great deal of wit, would no doubt have made a +fortune."</p> + +<p>Thus were they going on with mutual tenderness, when they beheld a small +vessel enter the bay of Rence with the tide. It was from England, and +came to sell provisions. The crew leaped on shore without looking at the +prior or Miss, his sister, who were shocked at the little attention +shown them.</p> + +<p>That was not the behavior of a well-made youth, who, darting himself +over the heads of his companions, stood on a sudden before Miss +Kerkabon. Being unaccustomed to bowing, he made her a sign with his +head. His figure and his dress attracted the notice of brother and +sister. His head was uncovered, and his legs bare. Instead of shoes, he +wore a kind of sandals. From his head his long hair flowed in tresses, A +small close doublet displayed the beauty of his shape. He had a sweet +and martial air.<a name="FNanchor_2_29" id="FNanchor_2_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_29" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> In one hand he held a small bottle of Barbadoes +water, and in the other a bag, in which he had a goblet, and some sea +biscuit. He spoke French very intelligibly. He offered some of his +Barbadoes to Miss Kerkabon and her brother. He drank with them, he made +them drink a second time, and all this with an air of such native +simplicity, that quite charmed brother and sister. They offered him +their service, and asked him who he was, and whither going? The young +man answered: That he knew not where he should go; that he had some +curiosity; that he had a desire to see the coast of France; that he had +seen it, and should return.</p> + +<p>The prior, judging by his accent that he was not an Englishman, took the +liberty of asking of what country he was.</p> + +<p>"I am a Huron," answered the youth.</p> + +<p>Miss Kerkabon, amazed and enchanted to see a Huron who had behaved so +politely to her, begged the young man's company to supper. He complied +immediately, and all three went together to the priory of our Lady of +the Mountain. This short and round Miss devoured him with her little +eyes, and said from time to time to her brother:</p> + +<p>"This tall lad has a complexion of lilies and roses. What a fine skin he +has for a Huron!"</p> + +<p>"Very true, sister," says the prior.</p> + +<p>She put a hundred questions, one after another, and the traveler +answered always pertinently.</p> + +<p>The report was soon spread that there was a Huron at the priory. All the +genteel company of the country came to supper. The abbot of St. Yves +came with Miss, his sister, a fine, handsome, well-educated girl. The +bailiff, the tax-gatherer, and their wives, came all together. The +foreigner was seated between Miss Kerkabon and Miss St. Yves. The +company eyed him with admiration. They all questioned him together. +This did not confound the Huron. He seemed to have taken Lord +Bolingbroke's motto, <i>Nil admirari</i>. But at last, tired out with so much +noise, he told them in a sweet, but serious tone:</p> + +<p>"Gentlemen, in my country one talks after another. How can I answer you, +if you will not allow me to hear you?"</p> + +<p>Reasoning always brings people to a momentary reflection. They were all +silent.</p> + +<p>Mr. Bailiff, who always made a property of a foreigner wherever he found +him, and who was the first man for asking questions in the province, +opening a mouth of large size, began:</p> + +<p>"Sir, what is your name?"</p> + +<p>"I have always been called the <i>Ingenu</i>," answered the Huron; "and the +English have confirmed that name, because I always speak as I think, and +act as I like."</p> + +<p>"But, being born a Huron, how could you come to England?"</p> + +<p>"I have been carried thither. I was made prisoner by the English after +some resistance, and the English, who love brave people, because they +are as brave and honest as we, proposed to me, either to return to my +family, or go with them to England. I accepted the latter, having +naturally a relish for traveling."</p> + +<p>"But, sir," says the bailiff, with his usual gravity, "how could you +think of abandoning father and mother?"</p> + +<p>"Because I never knew either father or mother," says the foreigner.</p> + +<p>This moved the company; they all repeated:</p> + +<p>"Neither father nor mother!"</p> + +<p>"We will be in their stead," says the mistress of the house, to her +brother, the prior: "How interesting this Huron gentleman is!"</p> + +<p>The <i>Ingenu</i> thanked her with a noble and proud cordiality, and gave her +to understand, that he wanted the assistance of nobody.</p> + +<p>"I perceive, Mr. Huron," said the huge bailiff, "that you talk better +French than can be expected from an Indian."</p> + +<p>"A Frenchman," answered he, "whom they had made prisoner when I was a +boy, and with whom I contracted a great friendship, taught it me. I +rapidly learn what I like to learn. When I came to Plymouth, I met with +one of your French refugees, whom you, I know not why, call Huguenots. +He improved my knowledge of your language; and as soon as I could +express myself intelligibly, I came to see your country, because I like +the French well enough, if they do not put too many questions."</p> + +<p>Notwithstanding this candid remark, the abbé of St. Yves asked him, +which of the three languages pleased him best, the Huron, English, or +French?</p> + +<p>"The Huron, to be sure," answered the <i>Ingenu</i>.</p> + +<p>"Is it possible?" cried Miss Kerkabon. "I always thought the French was +the first of all languages, after that of Low Britany."</p> + +<p>Then all were eager to know how, in Huron, they asked for snuff? He +replied:</p> + +<p>"<i>Taya</i>."</p> + +<p>"What signifies to eat?"</p> + +<p>"<i>Essenten</i>."</p> + +<p>Miss Kerkabon was impatient to know how they called, to make love?</p> + +<p>He informed her, <i>Trovander</i>; and insisted on it, not without reason, +that these words were well worth their synonyms in French and English. +<i>Trovander</i>, especially, seemed very pretty to all the company. The +prior, who had in his library a Huron grammar, which had been given him +by the Rev. Father Sagar Theodat, a Recollet and famous missionary, rose +from the table to consult it. He returned quite panting with tenderness +and joy. He acknowledged the foreigner for a true Huron. The company +speculated a little on the multiplicity of languages; and all agreed, +that had it not been for the unfortunate affair of the Tower of Babel, +all the world would have spoken French.</p> + +<p>The inquisitive bailiff, who till then had some suspicions of the +foreigner, conceived the deepest respect for him. He spoke to him with +more civility than before, and the Huron took no notice of it.</p> + +<p>Miss St. Yves was very curious to know how people made love among the +Hurons.</p> + +<p>"In performing great actions to please such as resemble you." All the +company admired and applauded. Miss St. Yves blushed, and was extremely +well pleased. Miss Kerkabon blushed likewise, but was not so well +pleased. She was a little piqued that this gallantry was not addressed +to her; but she was so good-natured, that her affection for the Huron +was not diminished at all. She asked him, with great complacency, how +many mistresses he had at home.</p> + +<p>"Only one," answered the foreigner; "Miss Abacaba, the good friend of my +dear nurse. The reed is not straighter, nor is ermine whiter,—no lamb +meeker, no eagle fiercer, nor a stag swifter, than was my Abacaba. One +day she pursued a hare not above fifty leagues from my habitation: a +base Algonquin, who dwells an hundred leagues further, took her hare +from her. I was told of it; I ran thither, and with one stroke of my +club leveled him with the ground. I brought him to the feet of my +mistress, bound hand and foot. Abacaba's parents were for burning him, +but I always had a disrelish for such scenes. I set him at liberty. I +made him my friend. Abacaba was so pleased with my conduct, that she +preferred me to all her lovers. And she would have continued to love me, +had she not been devoured by a bear! I slew the bear, and wore his skin +a long while; but that has not comforted me."</p> + +<p>Miss St. Yves felt a secret pleasure at hearing that Abacaba had been +his only mistress, and that she was no more; yet she understood not the +cause of her own pleasure. All eyes were riveted on the Huron, and he +was much applauded for delivering an Algonquin from the cruelty of his +countrymen.</p> + +<p>The merciless bailiff had now grown so furious, that he even asked the +Huron what religion he was of; whether he had chosen the English, the +French, or that of the Huguenots?</p> + +<p>"I am of my own religion," said he, "just as you are of yours."</p> + +<p>"Lord!" cried Miss Kerkabon, "I see already that those wretched English +have not once thought of baptizing him!"</p> + +<p>"Good heavens," said Miss St. Yves, "how is it possible? How is it +possible the Hurons should not be Roman Catholics? Have not those +reverend fathers, the Jesuits, converted all the world?"</p> + +<p>The Huron assured her, that no true American had ever changed his +opinion, and that there was not in their language a word to express +inconstancy.</p> + +<p>These last words extremely pleased Miss St. Yves.</p> + +<p>"Oh! we'll baptize him, we'll baptize him," said Miss Kerkabon to the +prior. "You shall have that honor, my dear brother, and I will be his +god-mother. The Abbot St. Yves shall present him to the font. It will +make a fine appearance: it will be talked of all over Britany, and do us +the greatest honor."</p> + +<p>The company were all of the same mind with the mistress of the house; +they all cried:</p> + +<p>"We'll baptize him."</p> + +<p>The Huron interrupted them by saying, that in England every one was +allowed to live as he pleased. He rather showed some aversion to the +proposal which was made, and could not help telling them, that the laws +of the Hurons were to the full as good as those of Low Britany. He +finished with saying, that he should return the next day. The bottles +grew empty, and the company went to bed.</p> + +<p>After the Huron had been conducted to his room, they saw that he spread +the blankets on the floor, and laid himself down upon them in the finest +attitude in the world.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_28" id="Footnote_1_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_28"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> <i>Le Huron</i> was dramatized, under the name of +<i>Civilization</i>, by Mr. John H. Wilkins, and successfully produced at the +City of London Theatre, on Wednesday, November 10, 1852. Mr. James +Anderson enacted the part of <i>Hercule, the Huron</i>, and added to his +well-earned reputation by his correct conception and representation of +the Indian character. +</p><p> +Mr. James Wallack, Jr., afterward introduced the play to a New York +audience at Burton's old Chambers Street Theatre, where it was also +received with great favor. Unfortunately for dramatic literature, the +promising young author of <i>Civilisation</i> did not long survive his +success, but soon filled an early grave.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_29" id="Footnote_2_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_29"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> In Mr. Wilkins's dramatic version of this romance, the +Huron is described as +</p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"A modell'd Hercules! Mien, stature, glance,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">That are the blazons of the inner man,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">And voice it to the stars! A hero born,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Whose air commands respect above a king's;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Bearing the stamp from the great mint of heaven,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">And current to the world!"—E.</span><br /> +</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIh" id="IIh"></a>II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON, CALLED THE INGENU, ACKNOWLEDGED BY HIS RELATIONS.</span></h4> + + +<p>The <i>Ingenu</i>, according to custom, awoke with the sun, at the crowing of +the cock, which is called in England and Huronia, "the trumpet of the +day." He did not imitate what is styled good company, who languish in +the bed of indolence till the sun has performed half its daily journey, +unable to sleep, but not disposed to rise, and lose so many precious +hours in that doubtful state between life and death, and who +nevertheless complain that life is too short.</p> + +<p>He had already traversed two or three leagues, and killed fifteen brace +of game with his rifle, when, upon his return, he found the prior of the +Lady of the Mountain, with his discreet sister, walking in their +nightcaps in their little garden. He presented them with the spoils of +his morning labor, and taking from his bosom a kind of little talisman, +which he constantly wore about his neck, he entreated them to accept of +it as an acknowledgment for the kind reception they had given him.</p> + +<p>"It is," said he, "the most valuable thing I am possessed of. I have +been assured that I shall always be happy whilst I carry this little toy +about me; and I give it you that you may be always happy."</p> + +<p>The prior and Miss smiled with pity at the frankness of the <i>Ingenu</i>. +This present consisted of two little portraits, poorly executed, and +tied together with a greasy string.</p> + +<p>Miss Kerkabon asked him, if there were any painters in Huronia?</p> + +<p>"No," replied the <i>Ingenu</i>, "I had this curiosity from my nurse. Her +husband had obtained it by conquest, in stripping some of the French of +Canada, who had made war upon us. This is all I know of the matter."</p> + +<p>The prior looked attentively upon these pictures, whilst he changed +color; his hands trembled, and he seemed much affected.</p> + +<p>"By our Lady of the Mountain," he cried out, "I believe these to be the +faces of my brother, the captain, and his lady."</p> + +<p>Miss, after having consulted them with the like emotion, thought the +same. They were both struck with astonishment and joy blended with +grief. They both melted, they both wept, their hearts throbbed, and +during their disorder, the pictures were interchanged between them at +least twenty times in a second. They seemed to devour the Huron's +pictures with their eyes. They asked one after another, and even both at +once, at what time, in what place, and how these miniatures fell into +the hands of the nurse? They reckoned and computed the time from the +captain's departure; they recollected having received notice that he had +penetrated as far as the country of the Hurons; and from that time they +had never heard anything more of him.</p> + +<p>The Huron had told them, that he had never known either father or +mother. The prior, who was a man of sense, observed that he had a little +beard, and he knew very well that the Hurons never had any. His chin was +somewhat hairy; he was therefore the son of an European. My brother +and sister-in-law were never seen after the expedition against the +Hurons, in 1669. My nephew must then have been nursing at the breast. +The Huron nurse has preserved his life, and been a mother to him. At +length, after an hundred questions and answers, the prior and his sister +concluded that the Huron was their own nephew. They embraced him, whilst +tears streamed from their eyes: and the Huron laughed to think that an +Indian should be nephew to a prior of Lower Britany.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 420px;"> +<a name="The_huron_identified" id="The_huron_identified"></a> +<img src="images/img_049_huron_ident.jpg" width="420" alt="The huron identified." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The Huron identified.—"<i>By our Lady of the +Mountain</i>," he cried out, "<i>I believe these to be the faces of my brother, +the captain, and his lady</i>."</span> +</div> + +<p>All the company went down stairs. Mr. de St. Yves, who was a great +physiognomist, compared the two pictures with the Huron's countenance. +They observed, very skillfully, that he had the mother's eyes, the +forehead and nose of the late Captain Kerkabon, and the cheeks common to +both.</p> + +<p>Miss St. Yves, who had never seen either father or mother, was +strenuously of opinion, that the young man had a perfect resemblance of +them. They all admired Providence, and wondered at the strange events of +this world. In a word, they were so persuaded, so convinced of the birth +of the Huron, that he himself consented to be the prior's nephew, +saying, that he would as soon have him for his uncle as another.</p> + +<p>The prior went to return thanks in the church of our Lady of the +Mountain; whilst the Huron, with an air of indifference, amused himself +with drinking in the house.</p> + +<p>The English who had brought him over, and who were ready to set sail, +came to tell him that it was time to depart.</p> + +<p>"Probably," said he to them, "you have not met with any of your uncles +and aunts. I shall stay here. Go you back to Plymouth. I give you all my +clothes, as I have no longer occasion for anything in this world, since +I am the nephew of a prior."</p> + +<p>The English set sail, without being at all concerned whether the Huron +had any relations or not in Lower Britany.</p> + +<p>After the uncle, the aunt, and the company had sung <i>Te Deum</i>; after the +bailiff had once more overwhelmed the Huron with questions, after they +had exhausted all their astonishment, joy, and tenderness, the prior of +the Mountain and the Abbé of St. Yves concluded that the Huron should be +baptized with all possible expedition. But the case was very different +with a tall robust Indian of twenty-two, and an infant who is +regenerated without his knowing anything of the matter. It was necessary +to instruct him, and this appeared difficult; for the Abbé of St. Yves +supposed that a man who was not born in France, could not be endowed +with common sense.</p> + +<p>The prior, indeed, observed to the company, that though, in fact, the +ingenious gentleman, his nephew, was not so fortunate as to be born in +Lower Britany, he was not, upon that account, any way deficient in +sense; which might be concluded from all his answers; and that, +doubtless, nature had greatly favored him, as well on his father's as on +his mother's side?</p> + +<p>He then was asked if he had ever read any books? He said, he had read +Rabelais translated into English, and some passages in Shakespeare, +which he knew by heart; that these books belonged to the captain, on +board of whose ship he came from America to Plymouth; and that he was +very well pleased with them. The bailiff failed not to put many +questions to him concerning these books.</p> + +<p>"I acknowledge," said the Huron, "I thought, in reading them, I +understood some things, but not the whole."</p> + +<p>The Abbé of St. Yves reflected upon this discourse, that it was in this +manner he had always read, and that most men read no other way.</p> + +<p>"You have," said he, to the Huron, "doubtless read the bible?"</p> + +<p>"Never, Mr. Abbé: it was not among the captain's books. I never heard it +mentioned."</p> + +<p>"This is the way with those cursed English," said Miss Kerkabon; "they +think more of a play of Shakespeare's, a plum pudding, or a bottle of +rum, than they do of the Pentateuch. For this reason they have never +converted any Indians in America. They are certainly cursed by God; and +we shall conquer Jamaica and Virginia from them in a very short time."</p> + +<p>Be this as it may, the most skillful tailor in all St. Malo was sent for +to dress the Huron from head to foot. The company separated, and the +bailiff went elsewhere to display his inquisitiveness. Miss St. Yves, in +parting, returned several times to observe the young stranger, and made +him lower courtesies than ever she did any one in her life.</p> + +<p>The bailiff, before he took his leave, presented to Miss St. Yves a +stupid dolt of a son, just come from college; but she scarce looked at +him, so much was she taken up with the politeness of the Huron.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIIh" id="IIIh"></a>III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON CONVERTED.</span></h4> + + +<p>The prior finding that he was somewhat advanced in years, and that God +had sent him a nephew for his consolation, took it into his head that he +would resign his benefice in his favor, if he succeeded in baptizing him +and of making him enter into orders.</p> + +<p>The Huron had an excellent memory. A good constitution, inherited from +his ancestors of Lower Britany, strengthened by the climate of Canada, +had made his head so vigorous that when he was struck upon it he scarce +felt it; and when any thing was graven in it, nothing could efface it. +Nothing had ever escaped his memory. His conception was the more sure +and lively, because his infancy had not been loaded with useless +fooleries, which overwhelm ours. Things entered into his head without +being clouded. The prior at length resolved to make him read the New +Testament. The Huron devoured it with great pleasure; but not knowing at +what time, or in what country all the adventures related in this book +had happened, he did not in the least doubt that the scene of action had +been in Lower Britany; and he swore, that he would cut off Caiphas and +Pontius Pilate's ears, if ever he met those scoundrels.</p> + +<p>His uncle, charmed with this good disposition, soon brought him to the +point. He applauded his zeal, but at the same time acquainted him that +it was needless, as these people had been dead upwards of 1690 years. +The Huron soon got the whole book by heart. He sometimes proposed +difficulties that greatly embarrassed the prior. He was often obliged to +consult the Abbé St. Yves, who, not knowing what to answer, brought a +Jesuit of Lower Britany to perfect the conversion of the Huron.</p> + +<p>Grace, at length, operated; and the Huron promised to become a +Christian. He did not doubt but that the first step toward it was +circumcision.</p> + +<p>"For," said he, "I do not find in the book that was put into my hands a +single person who was not circumcised. It is therefore evident, that I +must make a sacrifice to the Hebrew custom, and the sooner the better."</p> + +<p>He sent for the surgeon of the village, and desired him to perform the +operation. The surgeon, who had never performed such an operation, +acquainted the family, who screamed out. The good Miss Kerkabon trembled +lest her nephew, whom she knew to be resolute and expeditious, should +perform the operation unskillfully himself; and that fatal consequences +might ensue.</p> + +<p>The prior rectified the Huron's mistake, representing to him, that +circumcision was no longer in fashion; that baptism was much more gentle +and salutary; that the law of grace was not like the law of rigor. The +Huron, who had much good sense, and was well disposed, disputed, but +soon acknowledged his error, which seldom happens in Europe among +disputants. In a word, he promised to let himself be baptized whenever +they pleased.</p> + +<p>But before baptism it was necessary that he should go to confession, and +this was the greatest difficulty to surmount. The Huron had still in his +pocket the book his uncle gave him. He did not there find that a single +apostle had ever been confessed, and this made him very restive. The +prior silenced him, by showing him, in the epistle of St. James the +Minor, these words: "Confess your sins to one another." The Huron was +mute, and confessed his sins to a Recollet. When he had done, he dragged +the Recollet from the confessional chair, and seizing him with a +vigorous arm, placed himself in his seat, making the Recollet kneel +before him:</p> + +<p>"Come, my friend, it is said, 'we must confess our sins to one another;' +I have related to you my sins, and you shall not stir till you recount +yours."</p> + +<p>Whilst he said this, he fixed his great knee against his adversary's +stomach. The Recollet roared and groaned, till he made the church +re-echo. The noise brought people to his assistance, who found the +catechumen cuffing the monk in the name of St. James the Minor. The joy +diffused at the baptizing at once a Low-Breton, a Huron, and an +Englishman, surmounted all these singularities. There were even some +theologians of opinion that confession was not necessary, as baptism +supplied the place of every thing.</p> + +<p>The Bishop of St. Malo was chosen for the ceremony, who flattered, as +may be believed, at baptizing a Huron, arrived in a pompous equipage, +followed by his clergy. Miss St. Yves put on her best gown to bless God, +and sent for a hair dresser from St. Malo's, to shine at the ceremony. +The inquisitive bailiff brought the whole country with him. The church +was magnificently ornamented. But when the Huron was summoned to attend +the baptismal font, he was not to be found.</p> + +<p>His uncle and aunt sought for him every where. It was imagined that he +had gone a hunting, according to his usual custom. Every one present at +the festival, searched the neighboring woods and villages; but no +intelligence could be obtained of the Huron. They began to fear he had +returned to England. Some remembered that he had said he was very fond +of that country. The prior and his sister were persuaded that nobody was +baptized there, and were troubled for their nephew's soul. The bishop +was confounded, and ready to return home. The prior and the Abbé St. +Yves were in despair. The bailiff interrogated all passengers with his +usual gravity. Miss Kerkabon melted into tears. Miss St. Yves did not +weep, but she vented such deep sighs, as seemed to testify her +sacramental disposition. They were walking in this melancholy mood, +among the willows and reeds upon the banks of the little river Rence, +when they perceived, in the middle of the stream, a large figure, +tolerably white, with its two arms across its breast. They screamed out, +and ran away. But, curiosity being stronger than any other +consideration, they advanced softly amongst the reeds; and when they +were pretty certain they could not be seen, they were willing to descry +what it was.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 75px;"> +<img src="images/img_050_winged_lion.jpg" width="75" alt="Winged lion" title="" /> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="IVh" id="IVh"></a>IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON BAPTIZED.</span></h4> + + +<p>The prior and the abbé having run to the river side, they asked the +Huron what he was doing?</p> + +<p>"In faith," said he, "gentlemen, I am waiting to be baptized. I have +been an hour in the water, up to my neck, and I do not think it is civil +to let me be quite exhausted."</p> + +<p>"My dear nephew," said the prior to him, tenderly, "this is not the way +of being baptized in Lower Britany. Put on your clothes, and come with +us."</p> + +<p>Miss St. Yves, listening to the discourse, said in a whisper to her +companion:</p> + +<p>"Miss, do you think he will put his clothes on in such a hurry?"</p> + +<p>The Huron, however, replied to the prior:</p> + +<p>"You will not make me believe now as you did before. I have studied very +well since, and I am very certain there is no other kind of baptism. The +eunuch of Queen Candace was baptized in a rivulet. I defy you to show +me, in the book you gave me, that people were ever baptized in any other +way. I either will not be baptized at all, or the ceremony shall be +performed in the river."</p> + +<p>It was in vain to remonstrate to him that customs were altered. He +always recurred to the eunuch of Queen Candace. And though Miss and his +aunt, who had observed him through the willows, were authorized to tell +him, that he had no right to quote such a man, they, nevertheless, said +nothing;—so great was their discretion. The bishop came himself to +speak to him, which was a great thing; but he could not prevail. The +Huron disputed with the bishop.</p> + +<p>"Show me," said he, "in the book my uncle gave me, one single man that +was not baptized in a river, and I will do whatever you please."</p> + +<p>His aunt, in despair, had observed, that the first time her nephew +bowed, he made a much lower bow to Miss St. Yves, than to any one in the +company—that he had not even saluted the bishop with so much respect, +blended with cordiality, as he did that agreeable young lady. She +thought it advisable to apply to her in this great embarrassment. She +earnestly entreated her to use her influence to engage the Huron to be +baptized according to the custom of Britany, thinking that her nephew +could never be a Christian if he persisted in being christened in the +stream.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 320px;"> +<a name="The_Huron_baptized" id="The_Huron_baptized"></a> +<img src="images/img_051_baptism.jpg" width="320" alt="The Huron baptized." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The Huron baptized.—"<i>I have been an hour in the water, +up to my neck, and I do not think it is civil to let me be quite +exhausted</i>."</span> +</div> + +<p>Miss St. Yves blushed at the secret joy she felt in being appointed to +execute so important a commission. She modestly approached the Huron, +and squeezing his hand in quite a noble manner, she said to him.</p> + +<p>"What, will you do nothing to please me?"</p> + +<p>And in uttering these words, she raised her eyes from a downcast look, +into a graceful tenderness.</p> + +<p>"Oh! yes, Miss, every thing you require, all that you command, whether +it is to be baptized in water, fire, or blood;—there is nothing I can +refuse you."</p> + +<p>Miss St. Yves had the glory of effecting, in two words, what neither the +importunities of the prior, the repeated interrogations of the bailiff, +nor the reasoning of the bishop, could effect. She was sensible of her +triumph; but she was not yet sensible of its utmost latitude.</p> + +<p>Baptism was administered, and received with all the decency, +magnificence, and propriety possible. His uncle and aunt yielded to the +Abbé St. Yves and his sister the favor of supporting the Huron upon the +font. Miss St. Yves's eyes sparkled with joy at being a god-mother. She +was ignorant how much this high title compromised her. She accepted the +honor, without being acquainted with its fatal consequences.</p> + +<p>As there never was any ceremony that was not followed by a good dinner, +the company took their seats at table after the christening. The +humorists of Lower Britany said, "they did not choose to have their wine +baptized." The prior said, "that wine, according to Solomon, cherished +the heart of man." The bishop added, "that the Patriarch Judah ought to +have tied his ass-colt to the vine, and steeped his cloak in the blood +of the grape; and that he was sorry the same could not be done in Lower +Britany, to which God had not allotted vines." Every one endeavored to +say a good thing upon the Huron's christening, and strokes of gallantry +to the god-mother. The bailiff, ever interrogating, asked the Huron, "if +he was faithful in keeping his promises?"</p> + +<p>"How," said he, "can I fail keeping them, since I have deposited them in +the hands of Miss St. Yves?"</p> + +<p>The Huron grew warm; he had drank repeatedly his god-mother's health.</p> + +<p>"If," said he, "I had been baptized with your hand, I feel that the +water which was poured on the nape of my neck would have burnt me."</p> + +<p>The bailiff thought that this was too poetical, being ignorant that +allegory is a familiar figure in Canada. But his god-mother was very +well pleased.</p> + +<p>The Huron had, at his baptism, received the name of Hercules. The bishop +of St. Malo frequently enquired, who was this tutelar saint, whom he had +never heard mentioned before? The Jesuit, who was very learned, told +him, "that he was a saint who had wrought twelve miracles." There was a +thirteenth, which was well worth the other twelve, but it was not proper +for a Jesuit to mention it. This was the marriage of fifty girls at one +time—the daughters of king Thespius. A wag, who was present, related +this miracle very feelingly. And all judged, from the appearance of the +Huron, that he was a worthy representative of the saint whose name he +bore.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Vh" id="Vh"></a>V.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON IN LOVE.</span></h4> + + +<p>It must be acknowledged, that from the time of this christening and this +dinner, Miss St. Yves passionately wished that the bishop would again +make her an assistant with Mr. Hercules in some other fine +ceremony—that is, the marriage ceremony. However, as she was well +brought up, and very modest,—she did not entirely agree with herself in +regard to these tender sentiments; but if a look, a word, a gesture, a +thought, escaped from her, she concealed it admirably under the veil of +modesty. She was tender, lively, and sagacious.</p> + +<p>As soon as the bishop was gone, the Huron and Miss St. Yves met +together, without thinking they were in search of one another. They +spoke together, without premeditating what they said. The sincere youth +immediately declared, "that he loved her with all his heart; and that +the beauteous Abacaba, with whom he had been desperately in love in his +own country, was far inferior to her." Miss replied, with her usual +modesty, "that the prior, her uncle, and the lady, her aunt, should be +spoken to immediately; and that, on her side, she would say a few words +to her dear brother, the Abbé of St. Yves, and that she flattered +herself it would meet with no opposition."</p> + +<p>The youth replied: "that the consent of any one was entirely +superfluous; that it appeared to him extremely ridiculous to go and ask +others what they were to do; that when two parties were agreed, there +was no occasion for a third, to accomplish their union."</p> + +<p>"I never consult any one," said he, "when I have a mind to breakfast, to +hunt, or to sleep. I am sensible, that in love it is not amiss to have +the consent of the person whom we wish for; but as I am neither in love +with my uncle nor my aunt, I have no occasion to address myself to them +in this affair; and if you will believe me, you may equally dispense +with the advice of the Abbé of St. Yves."</p> + +<p>It may be supposed that the young lady exerted all the delicacy of her +wit, to bring her Huron to the terms of good breeding. She was very +angry, but soon softened. In a word, it cannot be said how this +conversation would have ended, if the declining day had not brought the +Abbé to conduct his sister home. The Huron left his uncle and aunt to +rest, they being somewhat fatigued with the ceremony, and long dinner. +He passed part of the night in writing verses in the Huron language, +upon his well-beloved; for it should be known, that there is no country +where love has not rendered lovers poets.<a name="FNanchor_1_30" id="FNanchor_1_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_30" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></p> + +<p>The next day his uncle spoke to him in the following manner. "I am +somewhat advanced in years. My brother has left only a little bit of +ground, which is a very small matter. I have a good priory. If you will +only make yourself a sub-deacon, as I hope you will, I will resign my +priory in your favor; and you will live quite at your ease, after +having been the consolation of my old age."</p> + +<p>The Huron replied:</p> + +<p>"Uncle, much good may it do you; live as long as you can. I do not know +what it is to be a sub-deacon, or what it is to resign, but every thing +will be agreeable to me, provided I have Miss St. Yves at my disposal."</p> + +<p>"Good heavens, nephew! what is it you say? Do you love that beautiful +young lady so earnestly?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, uncle."</p> + +<p>"Alas! nephew, it is impossible you should ever marry her."</p> + +<p>"It is very possible, uncle; for she did not only squeeze my hand when +she left me, but she promised she would ask me in marriage. I certainly +shall wed her."</p> + +<p>"It is impossible, I tell you, she is your god-mother. It is a dreadful +sin for a god-mother to give her hand to her god-son. It is contrary to +all laws, human and divine."</p> + +<p>"Why the deuce, uncle, should it be forbidden to marry one's god-mother, +when she is young and handsome? I did not find, in the book you gave me, +that it was wrong to marry young women who assisted at christenings. I +perceive, every day, that an infinite number of things are done here +which are not in your book, and nothing is done that is said in it. I +must acknowledge to you, that this astonishes and displeases me. If I am +deprived of the charming Miss St. Yves on account of my baptism, I give +you notice, that I will run away with her and unbaptize myself."</p> + +<p>The prior was confounded; his sister wept.</p> + +<p>"My dear brother," said she, "our nephew must not damn himself; our holy +father the pope can give him a dispensation, and then he may be happy, +in a christian-like manner, with the person he likes."</p> + +<p>The ingenuous Hercules embraced his aunt:</p> + +<p>"For goodness sake," said he, "who is this charming man, who is so +gracious as to promote the amours of girls and boys? I will go and speak +to him this instant."</p> + +<p>The dignity and character of the pope was explained to him, and the +Huron was still more astonished than before.</p> + +<p>"My dear uncle," said he, "there is not a word of all this in your +book; I have traveled, and am acquainted with the sea; we are now upon +the coast of the ocean, and I must leave Miss St. Yves, to go and ask +leave to marry her of a man who lives toward the Mediterranean, four +hundred leagues from hence, and whose language I do not understand! This +is most incomprehensibly ridiculous! But I will go first to the Abbé St. +Yves, who lives only a league from hence; and I promise you I will wed +my mistress before night."</p> + +<p>Whilst he was yet speaking, the bailiff entered, and, according to his +usual custom, asked him where he was going?</p> + +<p>"I am going to get married," replied the ingenuous Hercules, running +along; and in less than a quarter of an hour he was with his charming +dear mistress, who was still asleep.</p> + +<p>"Ah! my dear brother," said Miss Kerkabon to the prior, "you will never +make a sub-deacon of our nephew."</p> + +<p>The bailiff was very much displeased at this journey; for he laid claim +to Miss St. Yves in favor of his son, who was a still greater and more +insupportable fool than his father.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_30" id="Footnote_1_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_30"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> "Love," says Robert G. Ingersoll, "writes every poem, sings +every song, paints every picture, chisels every statue—makes kings and +queens of common clay, and is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the +human heart."—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIh" id="VIh"></a>VI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON FLIES TO HIS MISTRESS, AND BECOMES QUITE FURIOUS.</span></h4> + + +<p>No sooner had the ingenuous Hercules reached the house, than having +asked the old servant, which was his mistress's apartment, he forced +open the door, which was badly fastened, and flew toward the bed. Miss +St. Yves, startled out of her sleep, cried.</p> + +<p>"Ah! what, is it you! Stop, what are you about?" He answered:</p> + +<p>"I am going to marry."</p> + +<p>She opposed him with all the decency of a young lady so well educated; +but the Huron did not understand raillery, and found all evasions +extremely disagreeable.</p> + +<p>"Miss Abacaba, my first mistress," said he, "did not behave in this +manner; you have no honesty; you promised me marriage, and you will not +marry; this is being deficient in the first laws of honor."</p> + +<p>The outcries of the lady, brought the sagacious Abbé de St. Yves with +his housekeeper, an old devotee servant, and the parish priest. The +sight of these moderated the courage of the assailant.</p> + +<p>"Good heavens!" cried the Abbé, "my dear neighbor, what are you about?"</p> + +<p>"My duty," replied the young man, "I am fulfilling my promises, which +are sacred."</p> + +<p>Miss St. Yves adjusted herself, not without blushing. The lover was +conducted into another apartment. The Abbé remonstrated to him on the +enormity of his conduct. The Huron defended himself upon the privileges +of the law of nature, which he understood perfectly well. The Abbé +maintained, that the law positive should be allowed all its advantages; +and that without conventions agreed on between men, the law of nature +must almost constantly be nothing more than natural felony. Notaries, +priests, witnesses, contracts, and dispensations, were absolutely +necessary.</p> + +<p>The ingenuous Hercules made answer with the observation constantly +adopted by savages:</p> + +<p>"You are then very great rogues, since so many precautions are +necessary."</p> + +<p>This remark somewhat disconcerted the Abbé.</p> + +<p>"There are, I acknowledge, libertines and cheats among us, and there +would be as many among the Hurons, if they were united in a great city: +but, at the same time, we have direct, honest, enlightened people; and +these are the men who have framed the laws. The more upright we are, the +more readily we should submit to them, as we thereby set an example to +the vicious, who respect those bounds which virtue has given herself."</p> + +<p>This answer struck the Huron. It has already been observed, that his +mind was well disposed. He was softened by flattering speeches, which +promised him hopes; all the world is caught in these snares; and Miss +St. Yves herself appeared, after having been at her toilet. Every thing +was now conducted with the utmost good breeding.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 340px;"> +<a name="The_separation" id="The_separation"></a> +<img src="images/img_052_separation.jpg" width="340" alt="The separation." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The separation.</span> +</div> + +<p>It was with much difficulty that Hercules was sent back to his +relations. It was again necessary for the charming Miss St. Yves to +interfere; the more she perceived the influence she had upon him, the +more she loved him. She made him depart, and was much affected at it. At +length, when he was gone, the Abbé, who was not only Miss St. Yves's +elder brother by many years, but was also her guardian, endeavored to +wean his ward from the importunities of this dreadful lover. He went to +consult the bailiff, who had always intended his son for the Abbé's +sister, and who advised him to place the poor girl in a convent. This +was a terrible stroke. Such a measure would, to a young lady unaffected +with any particular passion, have been inexpressible punishment; but to +a love-sick maid, equally sagacious and tender, it was despair itself.</p> + +<p>When the ingenuous Hercules returned to the Prior's, he related all that +had happened with his usual frankness. He met with the same +remonstrances, which had some effect upon his mind, though none upon his +senses; but the next day, when he wanted to return to his mistress, in +order to reason with her upon the law of nature and the law of +convention, the bailiff acquainted him, with insulting joy, that she was +in a convent.</p> + +<p>"Very well," said he, "I'll go and reason with her in this convent."</p> + +<p>That cannot be, said the bailiff; and then entered into a long +explanation of the nature of a convent, telling him that this word was +derived from <i>conventus</i>, in the Latin, which signifies "an assembly;" +and the Huron could not comprehend, why he might not be admitted into +this assembly. As soon as he was informed that this assembly was a kind +of prison, in which girls were shut up, a shocking institution, unknown +in Huronia and England; he became as furious as was his patron Hercules, +when Euritus, king of Œchalia, no less cruel than the Abbé of St. +Yves, refused him the beauteous Iola, his daughter, not inferior in +beauty to the Abbé's sister. He was upon the point of going to set fire +to the convent to carry off his mistress, or be burnt with her. Miss +Kerkabon, terrified at such a declaration, gave up all hopes of ever +seeing her nephew a sub-deacon; and, sadly weeping, she exclaimed: "The +devil has certainly been in him since he has been christened."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIIh" id="VIIh"></a>VII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON REPULSES THE ENGLISH.</span></h4> + + +<p>The ingenuous Hercules walked toward the sea-coast wrapped in deep and +gloomy melancholy, with his double charged fusee upon his shoulder, and +his cutlass by his side, shooting now and then a bird, and often tempted +to shoot himself; but he had still some affection for life, for the sake +of his dear mistress; by turns execrating his uncle and aunt, all Lower +Britany, and his christening; then blessing them, as they had introduced +him to the knowledge of her he loved. He resolved upon going to burn the +convent, and he stopped short for fear of burning his mistress. The +waves of the Channel are not more agitated by the easterly and westerly +winds, than was his heart by so many contrary emotions.</p> + +<p>He was walking along very fast, without knowing whither he was going, +when he heard the beat of a drum. He saw, at a great distance, a vast +multitude, part of whom ran toward the coast, and the other part in the +opposite direction.</p> + +<p>A thousand shrieks re-echoed on every side. Curiosity and courage +hurried him, that instant, toward the spot where the greatest clamor +arose, which he attained in a few leaps. The commander of the militia, +who had supped with him at the Prior's, knew him immediately, and he ran +to the Huron with open arms:</p> + +<p>"Ah! it is the sincere American: he will fight for us."</p> + +<p>Upon which the militia, who were almost dead with fear, recovered +themselves, crying with one voice:</p> + +<p>"It is the Huron, the ingenuous Huron."</p> + +<p>"Gentlemen," said he, "what is the matter? Why are you frightened? Have +they shut your mistresses up in convents?"</p> + +<p>Instantly a thousand confused voices cried out:</p> + +<p>"Do you not see the English, who are landing?"</p> + +<p>"Very well," replied the Huron, "they are a brave people; they never +proposed making me a sub-deacon; they never carried off my mistress."</p> + +<p>The commander made him understand, that they were coming to pillage the +Abbé of the Mountain, drink his uncle's wine, and perhaps carry off +Miss St. Yves; that the little vessel which set him on shore in Britany +had come only to reconnoitre the coast; that they were committing acts +of hostility, without having declared war against France; and that the +province was entirely exposed to them.</p> + +<p>"If this he the case," said he, "they violate the law of nature: let me +alone; I lived a long time among them; I am acquainted with their +language, and I will speak to them. I cannot think they can have so +wicked a design."</p> + +<p>During this conversation the English fleet approached; the Huron ran +toward it, and having jumped into a little boat, soon rowed to the +Admiral's ship, and having gone on board, asked "whether it was true, +that they were come to ravage the coast, without having honestly +declared war?"</p> + +<p>The Admiral and all his crew burst out into laughter, made him drink +some punch, and sent him back.</p> + +<p>The ingenuous Hercules, piqued at this reception, thought of nothing +else but beating his old friends for his countrymen and the Prior. The +gentlemen of the neighborhood ran from all quarters, and joined them; +they had some cannon, and he discharged them one after the other. The +English landed, and he flew toward them, when he killed three of them +with his own hand. He even wounded the Admiral, who had made a joke of +him. The entire militia were animated with his prowess. The English +returned to their ships, and went on board; and the whole coast +re-echoed with the shouts of victory, "Live the king! live the ingenuous +Hercules!"</p> + +<p>Every one ran to embrace him; every one strove to stop the bleeding of +some slight wounds he had received.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said he, "if Miss St. Yves were here, she would put on a plaster +for me."</p> + +<p>The bailiff, who had hid himself in his cellar during the battle, came +to pay his compliments like the rest. But he was greatly surprised, when +he heard the ingenuous Hercules say to a dozen young men, well disposed +for his service, who surrounded him:</p> + +<p>"My friends, having delivered the Abbé of the Mountain is nothing; we +must rescue a nymph."</p> + +<p>The warm blood of these youths was fired at the expression. He was +already followed by crowds, who repaired to the convent. If the bailiff +had not immediately acquainted the commandant with their design, and he +had not sent a detachment after the joyous troop, the thing would have +been done. The Huron was conducted back to his uncle and aunt, who +overwhelmed him with tears and tenderness.</p> + +<p>"I see very well," said his uncle, "that you will never be either a +sub-deacon or a prior; you will be an officer, and one still braver than +my brother the Captain, and probably as poor."</p> + +<p>Miss Kerkabon could not stop an incessant flood of tears, whilst she +embraced him, saying, "he will be killed too, like my brother; it were +much better he were a sub-deacon."</p> + +<p>The Huron had, during the battle, picked up a purse full of guineas, +which the Admiral had probably lost. He did not doubt but that this +purse would buy all Lower Britany, and, above all, make Miss St. Yves a +great lady. Every one persuaded him to repair to Versailles, to receive +the recompense due to his services. The commandant, and the principal +officers, furnished him with certificates in abundance. The uncle and +aunt also approved of this journey. He was to be presented to the king +without any difficulty. This alone would give him great weight in the +province. These two good folks added to the English purse a considerable +present out of their savings. The Huron said to himself, "When I see the +king, I will ask Miss St. Yves of him in marriage, and certainly he will +not refuse me." He set out accordingly, amidst the acclamations of the +whole district, stifled with embraces, bathed in tears by his aunt, +blessed by his uncle, and recommending himself to the charming Miss St. +Yves.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIIIh" id="VIIIh"></a>VIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON GOES TO COURT. SUPS UPON THE ROAD WITH SOME HUGUENOTS.</span></h4> + + +<p>The ingenuous Hercules took the Saumur road in the coach, because there +was at that time no other convenience. When he came to Saumur, he was +astonished to find the city almost deserted, and to see several families +going away. He was told, that half a dozen years before, Saumur +contained upwards of fifty thousand inhabitants, and that at present +there were not six thousand. He mentioned this at the inn, whilst at +supper. Several Protestants were at table; some complained bitterly, +others trembled with rage, others, weeping, said, <i>Nos dulcia linquimus +arva, nos patriam fugimus</i>. The Huron, who did not understand Latin, had +these words explained to him, which signified, "We abandon our sweet +fields;—We fly from our country."</p> + +<p>"And why do you fly from your country, gentlemen?"</p> + +<p>"Because we must otherwise acknowledge the Pope."</p> + +<p>"And why not acknowledge him? You have no god-mothers, then, that you +want to marry; for, I am told it is he that grants this permission."</p> + +<p>"Ah! sir, this Pope says, that he is master of the domains of kings."</p> + +<p>"But, gentlemen, what religion are you of?"</p> + +<p>"Why, sir, we are for the most part drapers and manufacturers."</p> + +<p>"If the Pope, then, is not the master of your clothes and manufactures, +you do very well not to acknowledge him; but as to kings, it is their +business, and why do you trouble yourselves about it?"</p> + +<p>Here a little black man took up the argument, and very learnedly set +forth the grievances of the company. He talked of the revocation of the +edict of Nantes with so much energy; he deplored, in so pathetic a +manner, the fate of fifty thousand fugitive families, and of fifty +thousand others converted by dragoons; that the ingenuous Hercules could +not refrain from shedding tears.</p> + +<p>"Whence arises it," said he, "that so great a king, whose renown expands +itself even to the Hurons, should thus deprive himself of so many hearts +that would have loved him, and so many arms that would have served him."</p> + +<p>"Because he has been imposed upon, like other great kings," replied the +little orator, "He has been made to believe, that as soon as he utters a +word, all people think as he does; and that he can make us change our +religion, just as his musician Lulli, in a moment, changes the +decorations of his opera. He has not only already lost five or six +hundred thousand very useful subjects, but he has turned many of them +into enemies; and King William, who is at this time master of England, +has formed several regiments of these identical Frenchmen, who would +otherwise have fought for their monarch.</p> + +<p>"Such a disaster is more astonishing, as the present Pope, to whom Louis +XIV. sacrifices a part of his people, is his declared enemy. A violent +quarrel has subsisted between them for nearly nine years. It has been +carried so far, that France was in hopes of at length casting off the +yoke, by which it has been kept in subjection for so many ages to this +foreigner, and, more particularly, of not giving him any more money, +which is the <i>primum mobile</i> of the affairs of this world. It, +therefore, appears evident, that this great king has been imposed on, as +well with respect to his interest, as the extent of his power, and that +even the magnanimity of his heart has been struck at."</p> + +<p>The Huron, becoming more and more interested, asked:</p> + +<p>"Who were the Frenchmen who thus deceived a monarch so dear to the +Hurons?"</p> + +<p>"They are the Jesuits," he was answered, "and, particularly, Father la +Chaise, the kings confessor. It is to be hoped that God will one day +punish them for it, and that they will be driven out, as they now drive +us. Can any misfortune equal ours? Mons. de Louvois besets us on all +sides with Jesuits and dragoons."</p> + +<p>"Well gentlemen," replied the Huron, "I am going to Versailles to +receive the recompense due to my services; I will speak to Mons. de +Louvois. I am told it is he who makes war from his closet. I shall see +the king, and I will acquaint him with the truth. It is impossible not +to yield to this truth, when it is felt. I shall return very soon to +marry Miss St. Yves, and I beg you will be present at our nuptials."</p> + +<p>These good people now took him for some great Lord, who traveled +<i>incognito</i> in the coach. Some took him for the king's fool.</p> + +<p>There was at table a disguised Jesuit, who acted as a spy to the +Reverend Father de la Chaise. He gave him an account of everything that +passed, and Father de la Chaise reported it to M. de Louvois. The spy +wrote. The Huron and the letter arrived almost at the same time at +Versailles.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IXh" id="IXh"></a>IX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE ARRIVAL OF THE HURON AT VERSAILLES. HIS RECEPTION AT COURT.</span></h4> + + +<p>The ingenuous Hercules was set down from a public carriage, in the court +of the kitchens. He asks the chairmen, what hour the king can be seen? +The chairmen laugh in his face, just as the English Admiral had done: +and he treated them in the same manner—he beat them. They were for +retaliation, and the scene had like to have proved bloody, if a soldier, +who was a gentleman of Britany, had not passed by, and who dispersed the +mob.</p> + +<p>"Sir," said the traveler to him, "you appear to me to be a brave man. I +am nephew to the Prior of our Lady of the Mountain. I have killed +Englishmen, and I am come to speak to the king. I beg you will conduct +me to his chamber."</p> + +<p>The soldier, delighted to find a man of courage from his province, who +did not seem acquainted with the customs of the court, told him it was +necessary to be presented to M. de Louvois.</p> + +<p>"Very well, then, conduct me to M. de Louvois, who will doubtless +conduct me to the king."</p> + +<p>"It is more difficult to speak to M. de Louvois than the king. But I +will conduct you to Mr. Alexander, first commissioner of war, and this +will be just the same as if you spoke to the minister."</p> + +<p>They accordingly repair to Mr. Alexander's, who is first clerk, but they +cannot be introduced, he being closely engaged in business with a lady +of the court, and no person is allowed admittance.</p> + +<p>"Well," said the soldier, "there is no harm done, let us go to Mr. +Alexander's first clerk. This will be just the same as if you spoke to +Mr. Alexander himself."</p> + +<p>The Huron quite astonished, followed him. They remained together half an +hour in a little anti-chamber.</p> + +<p>"What is all this?" said the ingenuous Hercules. "Is all the world +invisible in this country? It is much easier to fight in Lower Britany +against Englishmen, than to meet with people at Versailles, with whom +one hath business."</p> + +<p>He amused himself for some time with relating his amours to his +countryman; but the clock striking, recalled the soldier to his post, +when a mutual promise was given of meeting on the morrow.</p> + +<p>The Huron remained another half hour in the anti-chamber, meditating +upon Miss St. Yves, and the difficulty of speaking to kings and first +clerks.</p> + +<p>At length the patron appeared.</p> + +<p>"Sir," said the ingenuous Hercules, "If I had waited to repulse the +English as long as you have made me wait for my audience, they would +certainly have ravaged all Lower Britany without opposition."</p> + +<p>These words impressed the clerk. He at length said to the inhabitant of +Britany, "What is your request?"</p> + +<p>"A recompense," said the other: "these are my titles;" showing his +certificates.</p> + +<p>The clerk read, and told him, "that probably he might obtain leave to +purchase a lieutenancy."</p> + +<p>"Me? what, must I pay money for having repulsed the English? Must I pay +a tax to be killed for you, whilst you are peaceably giving your +audience here? You are certainly jesting. I require a company of cavalry +for nothing. I require that the king shall set Miss St. Yves at liberty +from the convent, and give her to me in marriage. I want to speak to the +king in favor of fifty thousand families, whom I propose restoring to +him. In a word, I want to be useful. Let me be employed and advanced."</p> + +<p>"What is your name, sir, who talk in such a high style?"</p> + +<p>"Oh! oh!" answered the Huron; "you have not then read my certificates? +This is the way they are treated. My name is <i>Hercules de Kerkabon</i>. I +am christened, and I lodge at the Blue Dial." The clerk concluded, like +the people at Saumur, that his head was turned, and did not pay him any +further attention.</p> + +<p>The same day, the Reverend Father de la Chaise, confessor to Louis XIV., +received his spy's letter, which accused the Breton Kerkabon of favoring +in his heart the Huguenots, and condemning the conduct of the Jesuits. +M. de Louvois had, on his side, received a letter from the inquisitive +bailiff, which depicted the Huron as a wicked, lewd fellow, inclined to +burn convents, and carry off the nuns.</p> + +<p>Hercules, after having walked in the gardens of Versailles, which had +become irksome to him; after having supped like a native of Huronia and +Lower Britany: had gone to rest, in the pleasant hope of seeing the king +the next day; of obtaining Miss St. Yves in marriage; of having, at +least, a company of cavalry; and of setting aside the persecution +against the Huguenots. He was rocking himself asleep with these +flattering ideas, when the <i>Marechaussée</i> entered his chamber, and +seized upon his double-charged fusee and his great sabre.</p> + +<p>They took an inventory of his ready money, and then conducted him to the +castle erected by King Charles V., son to John II., near the street of +St. Antoine, at the gate des Tournelles.</p> + +<p>What was the Huron's astonishment in his way thither the reader is left +to imagine. He at first fancied it was all a dream; and remained for +some time in a state of stupefaction. Presently, transported with rage, +that gave him more than common strength, he collared two of his +conductors who were with him in the coach, flung them out of the door, +cast himself after them, and then dragged the third, who wanted to hold +him. He fell in the attempt, when they tied him, and replaced him in the +carriage.</p> + +<p>"This, then," said he, "is what one gets for driving the English out of +Lower Britany! What wouldst thou say, charming Miss St. Yves, if thou +didst see me in this situation?"</p> + +<p>They at length arrived at the place of their destination. He was carried +without any noise into the chamber in which he was to be locked up, like +a dead corpse going to the grave. This room was already occupied by an +old solitary student of Port Royal, named Gordon, who had been +languishing here for two years.</p> + +<p>"See," said the chief of the Marechaussée, "here is company I bring +you;" and immediately the enormous bolts of this strong door, secured +with large iron bars, were fastened upon them. These two captives were +thus separated from all the universe besides.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Xh" id="Xh"></a>X.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON IS SHUT UP IN THE BASTILE WITH A JANSENIST.</span></h4> + + +<p>Mr. Gordon was a healthy old man, of a serene disposition, who was +acquainted with two great things; the one was, to bear adversity; the +other, to console the afflicted. He approached his companion with an +open sympathizing air, and said to him, whilst he embraced him:</p> + +<p>"Whoever thou art that is come to partake of my grave, be assured, that +I shall constantly forget myself to soften thy torments in the infernal +abyss where we are plunged. Let us adore Providence that has conducted +us here. Let us suffer in peace, and trust in hope."</p> + +<p>These words had the same effect upon the youth as cordial drops, which +recall a dying person to life, and show to his astonished eyes a glimpse +of light.</p> + +<p>After the first compliments were over, Gordon, without urging him to +relate the cause of his misfortune, inspired him by the sweetness of his +discourse and by that interest which two unfortunate persons share with +each other, with a desire of opening his heart and of disburdening +himself of the weight which oppressed him; but he could not guess the +cause of his misfortune, and the good man Gordon was as much astonished +as himself.</p> + +<p>"God must, doubtless," said the Jansenist to the Huron, "have great +designs upon you, since he conducted you from Lake Ontario into England, +from thence to France; caused you to be baptized in Lower Britany, and +has now lodged you here for your salvation."</p> + +<p>"I' faith," replied Hercules, "I believe the devil alone has interfered +in my destiny.<a name="FNanchor_1_31" id="FNanchor_1_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_31" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> My countrymen in America would never have treated me +with the barbarity that I have here experienced; they have not the least +idea of it. They are called savages;—they are good people, but rustic, +and the men of this country are refined villains. I am indeed, greatly +surprised to have come from another world, to be shut up in this, under +four bolts with a priest; but I consider what an infinite number of men +set out from one hemisphere to go and get killed in the other, or are +cast away in the voyage, and are eaten by the fishes. I cannot discover +the gracious designs of God over all these people."</p> + +<p>Their dinner was brought them through a wicket. The conversation turned +upon Providence, <i>lettres de cachet</i>, and upon the art of not sinking +under disgrace, to which all men in this world are exposed.</p> + +<p>"It is now two years since I have been here," said the old man, "without +any other consolation than myself and books; and yet I have never been a +single moment out of temper."</p> + +<p>"Ah! Mr. Gordon," cried Hercules, "you are not then in love with your +god-mother. If you were as well acquainted with Miss St. Yves as I am, +you would be in a state of desperation."</p> + +<p>At these words he could not refrain from tears, which greatly relieved +him from his oppression.</p> + +<p>"How is it then that tears solace us?" said the Huron, "It seems to me +that they should have quite an opposite effect."</p> + +<p>"My son," said the good old man, "every thing is physical about us; all +secretions are useful to the body, and all that comforts it, comforts +the soul. We are the machines of Providence."</p> + +<p>The ingenuous Huron, who, as we have already observed more than once, +had a great share of understanding, entered deeply into the +consideration of this idea, the seeds whereof appeared to be in himself. +After which he asked his companion.</p> + +<p>"Why his machine had for two years been confined by four bolts?"</p> + +<p>"By effectual grace," answered Gordon; "I pass for a Jansenist; I know +Arnaud and Nicole; the Jesuits have persecuted us. We believe that the +Pope is nothing more than a bishop, like another, and therefore Father +la Chaise has obtained from the king, his penitent, an order for +robbing me without any form of justice, of the most precious inheritance +of man—liberty!"</p> + +<p>"This is very strange," said the Huron, "all the unhappy people I have +met with have been made so solely by the Pope. With respect to your +effectual grace, I acknowledge I do not understand what you mean. But I +consider it as a very great favor, that God has let me, in my +misfortunes, meet with a man, who pours into my heart such consolation +as I thought myself incapable of receiving."</p> + +<p>The conversation became each day more interesting and instructive. The +souls of the two captives seemed to unite in one body. The old man had +acquired knowledge, and the young man was willing to receive +instruction. At the end of the first month, he eagerly applied himself +to the study of geometry. Gordon made him read <i>Rohault's Physics</i>, +which book was still in fashion, and he had good sense enough to find in +it nothing but doubts and uncertainties.</p> + +<p>He afterward read the first volume of the <i>Enquiry After Truth</i>. This +instructive work gave him new light.</p> + +<p>"What!" said he, "do our imagination and our senses deceive us to that +degree? What, are not our ideas formed by objects, and can we not +acquire them by ourselves?"</p> + +<p>When he had gone through the second volume, he was not so well +satisfied; and he concluded it was much easier to destroy than to build.</p> + +<p>His colleague, astonished that a young ignoramus should make such a +remark, conceived a very high opinion of his understanding, and was more +strongly attached to him.</p> + +<p>"Your Malebranche," said he to Gordon one day, "seems to have written +half his book whilst he was in possession of his reason, and the other +half with the assistance only of imagination and prejudice."</p> + +<p>Some days after, Gordon asked him what he thought of the soul, and the +manner in which we receive our ideas of volition, grace, and free +agency.</p> + +<p>"Nothing," replied the Huron. "If I think sometimes, it is that we are +under the power of the Eternal Being, like the stars and the +elements—that he operates everything in us—that we are small wheels of +the immense machine, of which he is the soul—that he acts according to +general laws, and not from particular views. This is all that appears to +me intelligible; all the rest is to me a dark abyss."</p> + +<p>"But this, my son, would be making God the author of sin!"</p> + +<p>"But, father, your effectual grace would equally make him the author of +sin; for certainly all those to whom this grace was refused, would sin; +and is not an all-powerful being who permits evil, virtually the author +of evil?"</p> + +<p>This sincerity greatly embarrassed the good man; he found that all his +endeavors to extricate himself from this quagmire were ineffectual; and +he heaped such quantities of words upon one another, which seemed to +have meaning, but which in fact had none, that the Huron could not help +pitying him. This question evidently determined the origin of good and +evil; and poor Gordon was reduced to the necessity of recurring to +Pandora's box—Oromasdes's egg pierced by Arimanes—the enmity between +Typhon and Osiris—and, at last, original sin; and these he huddled +together in profound darkness, without their throwing the least +glimmering light upon one another. However, this romance of the soul +diverted their thoughts from the contemplation of their own misery; and, +by a strange magic, the multitude of calamities dispersed throughout the +world diminished the sensation of their own miseries. They did not dare +complain when all mankind was in a state of sufferance.</p> + +<p>But in the repose of night, the image of the charming Miss St. Yves +effaced from the mind of her lover every metaphysical and moral idea. He +awoke with his eyes bathed in tears; and the old Jansenist forgot his +effectual grace, and the Abbé of St. Cyran, and even Jansenius himself, +to afford consolation to a youth whom he had judged guilty of a mortal +sin.</p> + +<p>After these lectures and their reasonings were over, their adventures +furnished them with subjects of conversation; after this store was +exhausted, they read together, or separately. The Huron's understanding +daily increased; and he would certainly have made great progress in +mathematics, if the thought of Miss St. Yves had not frequently +distracted him.</p> + +<p>He read histories, which made him melancholy. The world appeared to him +too wicked and too miserable. In fact, history is nothing more than a +picture of crimes and misfortunes. The crowd of innocent and peaceable +men are always invisible upon this vast theatre. The <i>dramatis personæ</i> +are composed of ambitious, perverse men. The pleasure which history +affords is derived from the same source as tragedy, which would languish +and become insipid, were it not inspired with strong passions, great +events, and piteous misfortunes. Clio must be armed with a poniard as +well as Melpomene.</p> + +<p>Though the history of France is not less filled with horror than those +of other nations, it nevertheless appeared to him so disgusting in the +beginning, so dry in the continuation, and so trifling in the end, (even +in the time of Henry IV.); ever destitute of grand monuments, or foreign +to those fine discoveries which have illustrated other nations; that he +was obliged to resolve upon not being tired, in order to go through all +the particulars of obscure calamities confined to a little corner of the +world.</p> + +<p>Gordon thought like him. They both laughed with pity when they read of +the sovereigns of Fezensacs, Fesansaguet, and Astrac: such a study could +be relished only by their heirs, if they had any. The brilliant ages of +the Roman Republic made him sometimes quite indifferent as to any other +part of the globe. The spectacle of victorious Rome, the lawgiver of +nations, engrossed his whole soul. He glowed in contemplating a people +who were governed for seven hundred years by the enthusiasm of liberty +and glory.</p> + +<p>Thus rolled days, weeks, and months; and he would have thought himself +happy in the sanctuary of despair, if he had not loved.</p> + +<p>The natural goodness of his heart was softened still more when he +reflected upon the Prior of our Lady of the Mountain, and the sensible +Kerkabon.</p> + +<p>"What must they think," he would often repeat, "when they can get no +tidings of me? They must think me an ungrateful wretch." This idea +rendered him inconsolable. He pitied those who loved him much more than +he pitied himself.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_31" id="Footnote_1_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_31"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> In the play called <i>Civilization</i>, Hercules uses the +following language: +</p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"In my barbarian days, I spoke the truth:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Wrong'd not my neighbor: paid back benefits,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">With benefit and gratitude to boot;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Dealt justly: held a friend to be a gift,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Precious as stars dropt down from heaven: bowed</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Before the works of God: beheld in them</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">His presence, palpable, as at an altar:</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">And worshipp'd heaven at the mountain's foot.</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 17em;">But this</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Was Barbarism, I am wiser now;</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">More civilized. I know the way to lie,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">To cheat, deceive, and be a zealous Christian!"—E.</span><br /> +</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIh" id="XIh"></a>XI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">HOW THE HURON DISCLOSES HIS GENIUS.</span></h4> + + +<p>Reading aggrandizes the soul, and an enlightened friend affords +consolation. Our captive had these two advantages in his favor which he +had never expected.</p> + +<p>"I shall begin to believe in the Metamorphoses," said he, "for I have +been transformed from a brute into a man."</p> + +<p>He formed a chosen library with part of the money which he was allowed +to dispose of. His friend encouraged him to commit to writing such +observations as occurred to him. These are his notes upon ancient +history:</p> + +<p>"I imagine that nations were for a long time like myself; that they did +not become enlightened till very late; that for many ages they were +occupied with nothing but the present moment which elapsed: that they +thought very little of what was past, and never of the future. I have +traversed five or six hundred leagues in Canada, and I did not meet with +a single monument: no one is the least acquainted with the actions of +his predecessors. Is not this the natural state of man? The human +species of this continent appears to me superior to that of the other. +They have extended their being for many ages by arts and knowledge. Is +this because they have beards upon their chins and God has refused this +ornament to the Americans? I do not believe it; for I find the Chinese +have very little beard, and that they have cultivated arts for upwards +of five thousand years. In effect, if their annals go back upwards of +four thousand years, the nation must necessarily have been united and in +a flourishing state more than five hundred centuries.</p> + +<p>"One thing particularly strikes me in this ancient history of China, +which is, that almost every thing is probable and natural. I admire it +because it is not tinctured with anything of the marvelous.</p> + +<p>"Why have all other nations adopted fabulous origins? The ancient +chronicles of the history of France, which, by the by, are not very +ancient, make the French descend from one Francus, the son of Hector. +The Romans said they were the issue of a Phrygian, though there was not +in their whole language a single word that had the least connection +with the language of Phrygia. The gods had inhabited Egypt for ten +thousand years, and the devils Scythia, where they had engendered the +Huns. I meet with nothing before Thucydides but romances similar to the +Amadis, and far less amusing. Apparitions, oracles, prodigies, sorcery, +metamorphoses, are interspersed throughout with the explanation of +dreams, which are the bases of the destiny of the greatest empires and +the smallest states. Here are speaking beasts, there brutes that are +adored, gods transformed into men, and men into gods. If we must have +fables, let us, at least, have such as appear the emblem of truth. I +admire the fables of philosophers, but I laugh at those of children, and +hate those of impostors."</p> + +<p>He one day hit upon a history of the Emperor Justinian. It was there +related, that some Appedeutes of Constantinople had delivered, in very +bad Greek, an edict against the greatest captain of the age, because +this hero had uttered the following words in the warmth of conversation: +"Truth shines forth with its proper light, and people's minds are not +illumined with flaming piles." The Appedeutes declared that this +proposition was heretical, bordering upon heresy, and that the contrary +action was catholic, universal, and Grecian: "The minds of the people +are enlightened but with flaming piles, and truth cannot shine forth +with its own light." These Linostolians thus condemned several +discourses of the captain, and published an edict.</p> + +<p>"What!" said the Huron, with much emotion, "shall such people publish +edicts?"</p> + +<p>"They are not edicts," replied Gordon: "they are contradictions, which +all the world laughed at in Constantinople, and the Emperor the first. +He was a wise prince, who knew how to reduce the Linostolian Appedeutes +to a state incapable of doing anything but good. He knew that these +gentlemen, and several other Pastophores, had tired the patience of the +Emperors, his predecessors, with contradictions in more serious +matters."</p> + +<p>"He did quite right," said the Huron, "the Pastophores should not be +supported, but constrained."</p> + +<p>He committed several other observations to paper, which astonished old +Gordon. "What," said he to himself, "have I consumed fifty years in +instruction and not attained to the degree of natural good sense of this +child, who is almost a savage? I tremble to think I have so arduously +strengthened prejudices, and he listens to simple nature only."</p> + +<p>The good man had some little books of criticism, some of those +periodical pamphlets wherein men, incapable of producing anything +themselves, blacken the productions of others; where a Vise insults a +Racine, and a Faidit a Fénelon. The Huron ran over some of them. "I +compare them," said he, "to certain gnats that lodge their eggs in the +nostrils of the finest horses, which do not, however, retard their +speed."</p> + +<p>The two philosophers scarce deigned to cast their eyes upon these dregs +of literature.</p> + +<p>They soon after went through the elements of astronomy. The Huron sent +for some globes: he was ravished at this great spectacle.</p> + +<p>"How hard it is," said he, "that I should only begin to be acquainted +with heaven, when the power of contemplating it is ravished from me! +Jupiter and Saturn revolve in these immense spaces;—millions of suns +illumine myriads of worlds; and, in this corner of the earth on which I +am cast, there are beings that deprive me of seeing and studying those +worlds to which my eye might reach, and even that in which God has +placed me. The light created for the whole universe is lost to me. It +was not hidden from me in the northern horizon, where I passed my +infancy and youth. Without you, my dear Gordon, I should be +annihilated."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIIh" id="XIIh"></a>XII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON'S SENTIMENTS UPON THEATRICAL PIECES.</span></h4> + + +<p>The young Huron resembled one of those vigorous trees, which, +languishing in an ungrateful soil, extend in a little time their roots +and branches when transplanted to a more favorable spot; and it was very +extraordinary that this favorable spot should be a prison.</p> + +<p>Among the books which employed the leisure of the two captives were some +poems and also translations of Greek tragedies, and some dramatic +pieces in French. Those passages that dwelt on love communicated at once +pleasure and pain to the soul of the Huron. They were but so many images +of his dear Miss St. Yves. The fable of the two pigeons rent his heart: +for he was far estranged from his tender dove.</p> + +<p>Molière enchanted him. He taught him the manners of Paris and of human +nature.</p> + +<p>"To which of his comedies do you give the preference?"</p> + +<p>"Doubtless to his <i>Tartuffe</i>."</p> + +<p>"I am of your opinion," said Gordon; "it was a Tartuffe that flung me +into this dungeon, and perhaps they were Tartuffes who have been the +cause of your misfortunes."</p> + +<p>"What do you think of these Greek tragedies?"</p> + +<p>"They are very good for Grecians."</p> + +<p>But when he read the modern <i>Iphigenia, Phædrus, Andromache</i>, and +<i>Athalia</i>, he was in ecstacy, he sighed, he wept,—and he learned them +by heart, without having any such intention.</p> + +<p>"Read <i>Rodogune</i>," said Gordon; "that is said to be a capital +production; the other pieces which have given you so much pleasure, are +trifles compared to this."</p> + +<p>The young man had scarce got through the first page, before he said, +"This is not written by the same author."</p> + +<p>"How do you know it?"</p> + +<p>"I know nothing yet; but these lines neither touch my ear nor my heart."</p> + +<p>"O!" said Gordon, "the versification does not signify." The Huron asked, +"What must I judge by then?"</p> + +<p>After having read the piece very attentively without any other design +than being pleased, he looked steadfastly at his friend with much +astonishment, not knowing what to say. At length, being urged to give +his opinion with respect to what he felt, this was the answer he made: +"I understood very little of the beginning; the middle disgusted me; but +the last scene greatly moved me, though there appears to me but little +probability in it. I have no prejudices for or against any one, but I do +not remember twenty lines, I, who recollect them all when they please +me."</p> + +<p>"This piece, nevertheless, passes for the best upon our stage."</p> + +<p>"If that be the case," said he, "it is perhaps like many people who are +not worthy of the places they hold. After all, this is a matter of +taste, and mine cannot yet be formed. I may be mistaken; but you know I +am accustomed to say what I think or rather what I feel. I suspect that +illusion, fashion, caprice, often warp the judgments of men."</p> + +<p>Here he repeated some lines from <i>Iphigenia</i>, which he was full of; and +though he declaimed but indifferently, he uttered them with such truth +and emotion that he made the old Jansenist weep. He then read <i>Cinna</i>, +which did not excite his tears, but his admiration.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIIIh" id="XIIIh"></a>XIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES GOES TO VERSAILLES.</span></h4> + + +<p>Whilst the unfortunate Hercules was more enlightened than consoled; +whilst his genius, so long stifled, unfolded itself with so much +rapidity and strength; whilst nature, which was attaining a degree of +perfection in him, avenged herself of the outrages of fortune; what +became of the Prior, his good sister, and the beautiful recluse, Miss +St. Yves? The first month they were uneasy, and the third they were +immersed in sorrow. False conjectures, ill-grounded reports, alarmed +them. At the end of six months, it was concluded he was dead. At length, +Mr. and Miss Kerkabon learned, by a letter of ancient date, which one of +the king's guards had written to Britany, that a young man resembling +the Huron arrived one night at Versailles, but that since that time no +one had heard him spoken of.</p> + +<p>"Alas," said Miss Kerkabon, "our nephew has done some ridiculous thing, +which has brought on some terrible consequences. He is young, a <i>Low +Breton</i>, and cannot know how to behave at court. My dear brother, I +never saw Versailles nor Paris; here is a fine opportunity, and we shall +perhaps find our poor nephew. He is our brother's son, and it is our +duty to assist him. Who knows? we may perhaps at length prevail upon him +to become a sub-deacon when the fire of youth is somewhat abated. He was +much inclined to the sciences. Do you recollect how he reasoned upon +the Old and New Testaments? We are answerable for his soul. He was +baptized at our instigation. His dear mistress Miss St. Yves does +nothing but weep incessantly. Indeed, we must go to Paris. If he is +concealed in any of those infamous houses of pleasure, which I have +often heard of, we will get him out."</p> + +<p>The Prior was affected at his sister's discourse. He went in search of +the Bishop of St. Malo's, who had baptized the Huron, and requested his +protection and advice. The Prelate approved of the journey. He gave the +Prior letters of recommendation to Father la Chaise, the king's +confessor, who was invested with the first dignity in the kingdom; to +Harlai, the Archbishop of Paris, and to Bossuet, Bishop of Meaux.</p> + +<p>At length, the brother and sister set out; but when they came to Paris, +they found themselves bewildered in a great labyrinth without clue or +end. Their fortune was but middling, and they had occasion every day for +carriages to pursue their discovery, which they could not accomplish.</p> + +<p>The Prior waited upon the Reverend Father la Chaise; he was with +Mademoiselle du Tron, and could not give audience to Priors. He went to +the Archbishop's door: the Prelate was shut up with the beautiful +Mademoiselle de Lesdiguières about church matters. He flew to the +country house of the Bishop of Meaux: he was engaged in a close +examination with Mademoiselle de Mauleon, of the mystery relating to +Mademoiselle Guyon. At length, however, he gained access to these two +prelates; they both declared they could not interfere with regard to his +nephew, as he was not a sub-deacon.</p> + +<p>He at length saw the Jesuit, who received him with open arms, protesting +he had always entertained the greatest private esteem for him, though he +had never known him. He swore that his society had always been attached +to the inhabitants of Lower Britany.</p> + +<p>"But," said he, "has not your nephew the misfortune of being a +Huguenot?"</p> + +<p>"No, certainly, Reverend Father."</p> + +<p>"May he not be a Jansenist?"</p> + +<p>"I can assure your Reverence, that he is scarce a Christian. It is about +eleven months since he was christened."</p> + +<p>"This is very well;—we will take care of him. Is your benefice +considerable?"</p> + +<p>"No, a very trifle, and our nephew costs us a great deal."</p> + +<p>"Are there any Jansenists in your neighborhood? Take great care, my dear +Mr. Prior, they are more dangerous than Huguenots, or even Atheists."</p> + +<p>"My Reverend Father, we have none; it is not even known at our Lady of +the Mountain what Jansenism is."</p> + +<p>"So much the better; go, there is nothing I will not do for you."</p> + +<p>He dismissed the Prior in this affectionate manner, but thought no more +about him.</p> + +<p>Time slipped away, and the Prior and his good sister were almost in +despair.</p> + +<p>In the meanwhile, the cursed bailiff urged very strenuously the marriage +of his great booby son with the beautiful Miss St. Yves, who was taken +purposely out of the convent. She always entertained a passion for her +god-son in proportion as she detested the husband who was designed for +her. The insult that had been offered her, by shutting her up in a +convent, increased her affection; and the mandate for wedding the +bailiff's son completed her antipathy for him. Chagrin, tenderness, and +terror, racked her soul. Love, we know, is much more inventive and more +daring in a young woman than friendship in an aged Prior and an aunt +upwards of forty-five. Besides, she had received good instructions in +her convent with the assistance of romances, which she read by stealth.</p> + +<p>The beautiful Miss St. Yves remembered the letter that had been sent by +one of the king's guards to Lower Britany, which had been spoken of in +the province. She resolved to go herself and gain information at +Versailles; to throw herself at the minister's feet, if her husband +should be in prison as it was said, and obtain justice for him. I know +not what secret intelligence she had gained that at court nothing is +refused to a pretty woman; but she knew not the price of these boons.</p> + +<p>Having taken this resolution, it afforded her some consolation; and she +enjoyed some tranquillity without upraiding Providence with the severity +of her lot. She receives her detested intended father-in-law, caresses +her brother, and spreads happiness throughout the house. On the day +appointed for the ceremony, she secretly departs at four o'clock in the +morning, with the little nuptial presents she has received, and all she +could gather. Her plan was so well laid, that she was about ten leagues +upon her journey, when, about noon, her absence was discovered, and when +every one's consternation and surprise was inexpressible. The +inquisitive bailiff asked more questions that day than he had done for a +week before; the intended bridegroom was more stupefied than ever. The +Abbé St. Yves resolved in his rage to pursue his sister. The bailiff and +his son were disposed to accompany him. Thus fate led almost the whole +canton of Lower Britany to Paris.</p> + +<p>The beautiful Miss St. Yves was not without apprehensions that she +should be pursued. She rode on horseback, and she got all the +intelligence she could from the couriers, without being suspected. She +asked if they had not met a fat abbé, an enormous bailiff, and a young +booby, galloping as fast as they could to Paris. Having learned, on the +third day, that they were not far behind, she took quite a different +road, and was skillful and lucky enough to arrive at Versailles, whilst +they were in a fruitless pursuit after her, at Paris. But how was she to +behave at Versailles? Young, handsome, untutored, unsupported, unknown, +exposed to every danger, how could she dare go in search of one of the +king's guards? She had some thoughts of applying to a Jesuit of low +rank, for there were some for every station of life; as God, they say, +has given different aliments to every species of animals. He had given +the king his confessor, who was called, by all solicitors of benefices, +the head of the Gallican Church. Then came the princes' confessors. The +ministers had none, they were not such dupes. There were Jesuits for the +genteel mob, and particularly those for chambermaids, by whom were known +the secrets of their mistresses; and this was no small vocation, the +beautiful Miss St. Yves addressed herself to one of these last, who was +called <i>Father Tout-à-tous</i> (all to every one). She confessed to him, +set forth her adventure, her situation, her danger, and conjured him to +get her a lodging with some good devotee, who might shelter her from +temptation.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<a name="The_Confessional" id="The_Confessional"></a> +<img src="images/img_053_confessional.jpg" width="400" alt="The Confessional." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The Confessional.</span> +</div> + +<p>Father <i>Tout-à-tous</i> introduced her to the wife of the cup-bearer, one +of his most trusty penitents. From the moment Miss St. Yves became her +lodger, she did her utmost to obtain the confidence and friendship of +this penitent. She gained intelligence of the Breton-Guard, and invited +him to visit her. Having learned from him that her lover had been +carried off after having had a conference with one of the clerks, she +flew to this clerk. The sight of a fine woman softened him, for it must +be allowed God created woman only to tame mankind.</p> + +<p>The scribe, thus mollified, acknowledged to her every thing.</p> + +<p>"Your lover has been in the bastile almost a year, and without your +intercession he would, perhaps, have ended hid days there."</p> + +<p>The tender Miss St. Yves swooned at this intelligence. When she had +recovered herself, her informer told her:</p> + +<p>"I have no power to do good; all my influence extends to doing harm. +Take my advice, wait upon M. de St. Pouange, who has the power of doing +both good and ill; he is Mons. de Louvois's cousin and favorite. This +minister has two souls: the one is M. de St. Pouange, and Mademoiselle +de Belle is the other, but she is at present absent from Versailles; so +that you have nothing to do but captivate the protector I have pointed +out to you."</p> + +<p>The beautiful Miss St. Yves, divided between some trifling joy and +excessive grief, between a glimmering of hope and dreadful +apprehensions,—pursued by her brother, idolizing her lover, wiping her +tears, which flowed in torrents; trembling and feeble, yet summoning all +her courage;—in this situation, she flew on the wings of love to M. de +St. Pouange's.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIVh" id="XIVh"></a>XIV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">RAPID PROGRESS OF THE HURON'S INTELLECT.</span></h4> + + +<p>The ingenuous youth was making a rapid progress in the sciences, and +particularly in the science of man. The cause of this sudden disclosure +of his understanding was as much owing to his savage education as to the +disposition of his soul; for, having learned nothing in his infancy, he +had not imbibed any prejudices. His mind, not having been warped by +error, had retained all its primitive rectitude. He saw things as they +were; whereas the ideas that are communicated to us in our infancy make +us see them all our life in a false light.</p> + +<p>"Your persecutors are very abominable wretches," said he to his friend +Gordon. "I pity you for being oppressed, but I condemn you for being a +Jansenist. All sects appear to me to be founded in error. Tell me if +there be any sectaries in geometry?"</p> + +<p>"No, my child," said the good old Gordon, heaving a deep sigh; "all men +are agreed concerning truth when demonstrated, but they are too much +divided about latent truths."</p> + +<p>"If there were but one single hidden truth in your load of arguments, +which have been so often sifted for such a number of ages, it would +doubtless have been discovered, and the universe would certainly have +been unanimous, at least, in that respect. If this truth had been as +necessary as the sun is to the earth, it would have been as brilliant as +that planet. It is an absurdity, an insult to human nature—it is an +attack upon the Infinite and Supreme Being to say there is a truth +essential to the happiness of man which God conceals."</p> + +<p>All that this ignorant youth, instructed only by nature, said, made a +very deep impression upon the mind of the old unhappy scholiast.</p> + +<p>"Is it really certain," he cried, "that I should have made myself truly +miserable for mere chimeras? I am much more certain of my misery than of +effectual grace. I have spent my time in reasoning about the liberty of +God and human nature, but I have lost my own. Neither St. Augustine nor +St. Prosner will extricate me from my present misfortunes."</p> + +<p>The ingenuous Huron, who gave way to his natural instincts, at length +said:</p> + +<p>"Will you give me leave to speak to you boldly and frankly? Those who +bring upon themselves persecution for such idle disputes seem to me to +have very little sense; those who persecute, appear to me very +monsters."</p> + +<p>The two captives entirely coincided with respect to the injustice of +their captivity.</p> + +<p>"I am a hundred times more to be pitied than you," said the Huron; "I am +born free as the air: I had two lives, liberty and the object of my +love; and I am deprived of both. We are both in fetters, without +knowing who put them on us, or without being able to enquire. It is said +that the Hurons are barbarians, because they avenge themselves on their +enemies; but they never oppress their friends. I had scarce set foot in +France, before I shed my blood for this country. I have, perhaps, +preserved a whole province, and my recompense is imprisonment. In this +country men are condemned without being heard. This is not the case in +England. Alas! it was not against the English that I should have +fought."</p> + +<p>Thus his growing philosophy could not brook nature being insulted in the +first of her rights, and he gave vent to his just indignation.</p> + +<p>His companion did not contradict him. Absence ever increases ungratified +love, and philosophy does not diminish it. He as frequently spoke of his +dear Miss St. Yves, as he did of morality or metaphysics. The more he +purified his sentiments, the more he loved. He read some new romances; +but he met with few that depicted to him the real state of his soul. He +felt that his heart stretched beyond the bounds of his author.</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said he, "almost all these writers have nothing but wit and +art."</p> + +<p>At length, the good Jansenist priest became, insensibly, the confident +of his tenderness. He was already acquainted with love as a sin with +which a penitent accuses himself at confession. He now learned to know +it as a sentiment equally noble and tender; which can elevate the soul +as well as soften it, and can at times produce virtues. In fine, for the +last miracle, a Huron converted a Jansenist.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVh" id="XVh"></a>XV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES VISITS M. DE ST. POUANGE.</span></h4> + + +<p>The charming Miss St. Yves, still more afflicted than her lover, waited +accordingly upon M. de St. Pouange, accompanied by her friend with whom +she lodged, each having their faces covered with their hoods. The first +thing she saw at the door was the Abbé St. Yves, her brother coming out. +She was terrified, but her friend supported her spirits.</p> + +<p>"For the very reason," said she, "that people have been speaking +against you, speak to him for yourself. You may he assured, that the +accusers in this part of the world are always in the right, unless they +are immediately detected. Besides, your presence will have greater +effect, or else I am much mistaken, than the words of your brother."</p> + +<p>Ever so little encouragement to a passionate lover makes her intrepid. +Miss St. Yves appears at the audience. Her youth, her charms, her +languishing eyes, moistened with some involuntary tears, attract every +one's attention. Every sycophant to the deputy minister forgot for an +instant the idol of power to contemplate that of beauty. St. Pouange +conducted her into a closet. She spoke with an affecting grace. St. +Pouange felt some emotion. She trembled, but he told her not to be +afraid.</p> + +<p>"Return to-night," said he; "your business requires some reflection, and +it must be discussed at leisure. There are too many people here at +present. Audiences are rapidly dispatched. I must get to the bottom of +all that concerns you."</p> + +<p>He then paid her some compliments upon her beauty and address, and +advised her to come at seven in the evening.</p> + +<p>She did not fail attending at the hour appointed, and her pious friend +again accompanied her; but she remained in the hall, where she read the +<i>Christian Pedagogue</i>, whilst St. Pouange and the beauteous Miss St. +Yves were in the back closet. He began by saying:</p> + +<p>"Would you believe it, Miss, that your brother has been to request me to +grant him a <i>lettre de cachet</i> against you; but, indeed, I would sooner +grant one to send him back to Lower Britany."</p> + +<p>"Alas! sir," said she, "<i>lettres de cachet</i> are granted very liberally +in your offices, since people come from the extremity of the kingdom to +solicit them like pensions. I am very far from requesting one against my +brother, yet I have much reason to complain of him. But I respect the +liberty of mankind; and, therefore, supplicate for that of a man whom I +want to make my husband; of a man to whom the king is indebted for the +preservation of a province; who can beneficially serve him; and who is +the son of an officer killed in his service. Of what is he accused? How +could he be treated so cruelly without being heard?"</p> + +<p>The deputy minister then showed her the letter of the spy Jesuit, and +that of the perfidious bailiff.</p> + +<p>"What!" said she with astonishment, "are there such monsters upon earth? +and would they force me to marry the stupid son of a ridiculous, wicked +man? and is it upon such evidence that the fate of citizens is +determined?"</p> + +<p>She threw herself upon her knees, and with a flood of tears solicited +the freedom of a brave man who adored her. Her charms appeared to the +greatest advantage in such a situation. She was so beautiful, that St. +Pouange, bereft of all shame, used words with some reserve, which +brought on others less delicate, which were succeeded by those still +more expressive. The revocation of the <i>lettre de cachet</i> was proposed, +and he at length went so far as to state the only means of obtaining the +liberty of the man whose interest she had so violently and +affectionately at heart.</p> + +<p>This uncommon conversation continued for a long time. The devotee in the +anti-chamber, in reading her <i>Christian Pedagogue</i>, said to herself:</p> + +<p>"My Lord St. Pouange never before gave so long an audience. Perhaps he +has refused every thing to this poor girl, and she is still entreating +him."</p> + +<p>At length her companion came out of the closet in the greatest +confusion, without being able to speak. She was lost in deep meditation +upon the character of the great and the half great, who so slightly +sacrifice the liberty of men and the honor of women.</p> + +<p>She did not utter a syllable all the way back. But having returned to +her friend's, she burst out, and told all that had happened. Her pious +friend made frequent signs of the cross.</p> + +<p>"My dear friend," said she, "you must consult to-morrow Father +<i>Tout-à-tous</i>, our director. He has much influence over M. de St. +Pouange. He is confessor of many of the female servants of the house. He +is a pious accommodating man, who has also the direction of some women +of fashion. Yield to him; this is my way; and I always found myself +right. We weak women stand in need of a man to lead us: and so, my dear +friend, I'll go to-morrow in search of Father <i>Tout-à-tous</i>."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVIh" id="XVIh"></a>XVI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">MISS ST. YVES CONSULTS A JESUIT.</span></h4> + + +<p>No sooner was the beautiful and disconsolate Miss St. Yves with her holy +confessor, than she told him, "that a powerful, voluptuous man, had +proposed to her to set at liberty the man whom she intended making her +lawful husband, and that he required a great price for his service; that +she held such infidelity in the highest detestation; and that if her +life only had been required, she would much sooner have sacrificed it +than to have submitted."</p> + +<p>"This is a most abominable sinner," said Father <i>Tout-à-tous</i>, "You +should tell me the name of this vile man. He must certainly be some +Jansenist. I will inform against him to his Reverence, Father de la +Chaise, who will place him in the situation of your dear beloved +intended bridegroom."</p> + +<p>The poor girl, after much hesitation and embarrassment, at length +mentioned St. Pouange.</p> + +<p>"My Lord St. Pouange!" cried the Jesuit, "Ah! my child, the case is +quite different. He is cousin to the greatest minister we have ever had; +a man of worth, a protector of the good cause, a good Christian. He +could not entertain such a thought. You certainly must have +misunderstood him."</p> + +<p>"Oh! Father, I did but understand him too well. I am lost on which ever +side I turn. The only alternative I have to choose is misery or shame; +either my lover must be buried alive, or I must make myself unworthy of +living. I cannot let him perish, nor can I save him."</p> + +<p>Father <i>Tout-à-tous</i> endeavored to console her with these gentle +expressions:</p> + +<p>"In the <i>first place</i>, my child, never use the word lover. It intimates +something worldly, which may offend God. Say my husband. You consider +him as such, and nothing can be more decent.</p> + +<p>"<i>Secondly</i>: Though he be ideally your husband, and you are in hopes he +will be such eventually, yet he is not so in reality, consequently, you +are still free and the mistress of your own conduct.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<a name="Father_Tout-a-tous" id="Father_Tout-a-tous"></a> +<img src="images/img_054_tout_a_tous.jpg" width="400" alt="Father Tout-à-tous." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Father Tout-à-tous.</span> +</div> + +<p>"<i>Thirdly</i>: Actions are not maliciously culpable, when the intention is +virtuous; and nothing can be more virtuous than to procure your husband +his liberty.</p> + +<p>"<i>Fourthly</i>: You have examples in holy antiquity, that miraculously +serve you for a guide. St. Augustin relates, that under the proconsulate +of Septimius Acyndius, in the thirty-fourth year of our salvation, a +poor man could not pay unto Cæsar what belonged to Cæsar, and was justly +condemned to die, notwithstanding the maxim, 'Where there is nothing, +the king must lose his right.' The object in question was a pound of +gold. The culprit had a wife in whom God had united beauty and prudence.</p> + +<p>"You may assure yourself, my child, that when a Jesuit quotes St. +Augustin, that saint must certainly have been in the right. I advise you +to nothing. You are prudent, and it is to be presumed that you will do +your husband a service. My Lord St. Pouange is an honest man. He will +not deceive you. This is all I can say. I will pray to God for you, and +I hope every thing will take place for his glory."</p> + +<p>The beautiful Miss St. Yves, who was no less terrified with the Jesuit's +discourse than with the proposals of the deputy minister, returned in +despair to her friend. She was tempted to deliver herself by death from +the horror of her situation.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVIIh" id="XVIIh"></a>XVII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE JESUIT TRIUMPHS.</span></h4> + + +<p>The unfortunate Miss St. Yves entreated her friend to kill her; but this +lady, who was fully as indulgent as the Jesuit, spoke to her still more +clearly.</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said she, "at this agreeable, gallant, and famous court, +business is always thus transacted. The most considerable, as well as +the most indifferent places are seldom given away without a +consideration. The dignities of war are solicited by the queen of love, +and, without regard to merit, a place is often given to him who has the +handsomest advocate.</p> + +<p>"You are in a situation that is extremely critical. The object is to +restore your lover to liberty, and to marry him. It is a sacred duty +that you are to fulfill. The world will applaud you. It will be said, +that you only allowed yourself to be guilty of a weakness, through an +excess of virtue."</p> + +<p>"Heavens!" cried Miss St. Yves, "What kind of virtue is this? What a +labyrinth of distress! What a world! What men to become acquainted with! +A Father de la Chaise and a ridiculous bailiff imprison my lover; I am +persecuted by my family; assistance is offered me, only that I may be +dishonored! A Jesuit has ruined a brave man, another Jesuit wants to +ruin me. On every side snares are laid for me, and I am upon the very +brink of destruction! I must even speak to the king; I will throw myself +at his feet as he goes to mass or to the theatre."</p> + +<p>"His attendants will not let you approach," said her good friend; "and +if you should be so unfortunate as to speak to him, M. de Louvois, or +the Reverend Father de la Chaise, might bury you in a convent for the +rest of your days."</p> + +<p>Whilst this generous friend thus increased the perplexities of Miss St. +Yves's tortured soul, and plunged the dagger deeper in her heart, a +messenger arrived from M. de St. Pouange with a letter, and two fine +pendant earrings. Miss St. Yves, with tears, refused to accept of any +part of the contents of the packet; but her friend took the charge of +them upon herself.</p> + +<p>As soon as the messenger had gone, the <i>confidante</i> read the letter, in +which a <i>petit-souper</i> (a little supper) was proposed to the two friends +for that night. Miss St. Yves protested she would not go, whilst her +pious friend endeavored to make her try on the diamond earrings; but +Miss St. Yves could not endure them, and opposed it all the day long; +being entirely wrapped up in the contemplation of her lover's +imprisonment. At length, after a long resistance—after sighs, moans, +and torrents of tears—driven by excitement almost to the verge of +insanity—weakened with the conflict, overwhelmed and irresolute, the +innocent victim, not knowing whether she was going, was dragged by this +artful woman to the fatal supper of the "good Christian and protector of +the good cause," M. de St. Pouange.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 355px;"> +<a name="The_meeting" id="The_meeting"></a> +<img src="images/img_055_meeting.jpg" width="355" alt="THE MEETING." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The meeting.</span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XVIIIh" id="XVIIIh"></a>XVIII.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">MISS ST. YVES DELIVERS HER LOVER AND A JANSENIST.</span></h4> + + +<p>At day-break she fled to Paris with the minister's mandate. It would be +difficult to depict the agitation of her mind in this journey. Imagine a +virtuous and noble soul, humbled by its own reproaches, intoxicated with +tenderness, distracted with the remorse of having betrayed her lover, +and elated with the pleasure of releasing the object of her adoration. +Her torments and conflicts by turns engaged her reflections. She was no +longer that innocent girl whose ideas were confined to a provincial +education. Love and misfortunes had united to remould her. Sentiment had +made as rapid a progress in her mind, as reason had in that of her +lover.</p> + +<p>Her dress was dictated by the greatest simplicity. She viewed with +horror the trappings with which she had appeared before her fatal +benefactor. Her companion had taken the earrings without her having +looked at them. Anxious and confused, idolizing the Huron and detesting +herself, she at length arrived at the gate of that dreadful castle—the +palace of vengeance—where crimes and innocence are alike immured.</p> + +<p>When she was upon the point of getting out of the coach her strength +failed her. Some people came to her assistance. She entered, whilst her +heart was in the greatest palpitation, her eyes streaming, and her whole +frame bespoke the greatest consternation. She was presented to the +governor. He was going to speak to her, but she had lost all power of +expression: she showed her order, whilst, with great difficulty, she +articulated some accents. The governor entertained a great esteem for +his prisoner, and he was greatly pleased at his being released. His +heart was not callous, like those of most of his brethren, who think of +nothing but the fees their captives are to pay them; extort their +revenues from their victims; and living by the misery of others, +conceive a horrid joy at the lamentations of the unfortunate.</p> + +<p>He sent for the prisoner into his apartment. The two lovers swooned at +the sight of each other. The beautiful Miss St. Yves remained for a long +time motionless, without any symptoms of life; the other soon recalled +his fortitude.</p> + +<p>"This lady," said the governor, "is probably your wife. You did not tell +me you were married. I am informed that it is through her generous +solicitude that you have obtained your liberty."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said the beautiful Miss St. Yves, in a faltering voice, "I am +not worthy of being his wife;" and swooned again.</p> + +<p>When she recovered her senses, she presented, with a trembling hand and +averted eyes, the grant and written promise of a company.</p> + +<p>The Huron, equally astonished and affected, awoke from one dream to fall +into another.</p> + +<p>"Why was I shut up here? How could you deliver me? Where are the +monsters that immured me? You are a divinity sent from heaven to succor +me."</p> + +<p>The beautiful Miss St. Yves, with a dejected air, looked at her lover, +blushed, and instantly turned away her streaming eyes. In a word, they +told him all she knew, and all she had undergone, except what she was +willing to conceal forever, but which any other than the Huron, more +accustomed to the world and better acquainted with the customs of +courts, would easily have guessed.</p> + +<p>"Is it possible," said he, "that a wretch like the bailiff can have +deprived me of my liberty?</p> + +<p>"Alas! I find that men, like the vilest of animals, can all injure.</p> + +<p>"But is it possible that a monk, a Jesuit, the king's confessor, should +have contributed to my misfortunes as much as the bailiff, without my +being able to imagine under what pretence this detestable knave has +persecuted me? Did he make me pass for a Jansenist? In fine, how came +you to remember me? I did not deserve it; I was then only a savage.</p> + +<p>"What! could you, without advice, without assistance, undertake a +journey to Versailles?</p> + +<p>"You there appeared, and my fetters were broken!</p> + +<p>"There must then be in beauty and virtue an invincible charm, that opens +gates of adamant and softens hearts of steel."</p> + +<p>At the word virtue, a flood of tears issued from the eyes of the +beautiful Miss St. Yves. She did not know how far she had been virtuous +in the crime with which she reproached herself.</p> + +<p>Her lover thus continued:</p> + +<p>"Thou angel, who hast broken my chains, if thou hast had sufficient +influence (which I cannot yet comprehend) to obtain justice for me, +obtain it likewise for an old man who first taught me to think, as thou +didst to love. Misfortunes have united us; I love him as a father; I can +neither live without thee nor him."</p> + +<p>"I solicit?"</p> + +<p>"The same man."</p> + +<p>"Who!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I will be beholden to you for everything, and I will owe nothing +to any one but yourself. Write to this man in power. Overwhelm me with +kindness—complete what you have begun—perfect your miracle."</p> + +<p>She was sensible she ought to do everything her lover desired. She +wanted to write, but her hand refused its office. She began her letter +three times, and tore it as often. At length she got to the end, and the +two lovers left the prison, after having embraced the old martyr to +efficacious grace.</p> + +<p>The happy yet disconsolate Miss St. Yves knew where her brother lodged: +thither she repaired; and her lover took an apartment at the same house.</p> + +<p>They had scarce reached their lodging, before her protector sent the +order for releasing the good old Gordon, at the same time making an +appointment with her for the next day.</p> + +<p>She gave the order of release to her lover, and refused the appointment +of a benefactor whom she could no more see without expiring with shame +and grief.</p> + +<p>Her lover would not have left her upon any other errand than to release +his friend. He flew to the place of his confinement and fulfilled this +duty, reflecting, meanwhile, upon the strange vicissitudes of this +world, and admiring the courageous virtue of a young lady, to whom two +unfortunate men owed more than life.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XIXh" id="XIXh"></a>XIX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE HURON, THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES, AND THEIR RELATIONS, ARE +CONVENED.</span></h4> + + +<p>The generous and respectable, but injured girl, was with her brother the +Abbé de St. Yves, the good Prior of the Mountain, and Lady de Kerkabon. +They were equally astonished, but their situations and sentiments were +very different. The Abbé de St. Yves was expiating the wrongs he had +done his sister at her feet, and she pardoned him. The prior and his +sympathizing sister likewise wept, but it was for joy. The filthy +bailiff and his insupportable son did not trouble this affecting scene. +They had set out upon the first report that their antagonist had been +released. They flew to bury in their own province their folly and fear.</p> + +<p>The four <i>dramatis personæ</i>, variously agitated, were waiting for the +return of the young man who had gone to deliver his friend. The Abbé de +St. Yves did not dare to raise his eyes to meet those of his sister. The +good Kerkabon said:</p> + +<p>"I shall then see once more my dear nephew."</p> + +<p>"You will see him again," said the charming Miss St. Yves, "but he is no +longer the same man. His behavior, his manners, his ideas, his sense, +have all undergone a complete mutation. He has become as respectable, as +he was before ignorant and strange to everything. He will be the honor +and consolation of your family; would to heaven that I might also be the +honor of mine!"</p> + +<p>"What, are you not the same as you were?" said the prior. "What then has +happened to work so great a change?"</p> + +<p>During this conversation the Huron returned in company with the +Jansenist. The scene was now changed, and became more interesting. It +began by the uncle and aunt's tender embraces. The Abbé de St. Yves +almost kissed the knees of the ingenuous Huron, who, by the by, was no +longer ingenuous. The language of the eyes formed all the discourse of +the two lovers, who, nevertheless, expressed every sentiment with which +they were penetrated. Satisfaction and acknowledgment sparkled in the +countenance of the one, whilst embarrassment was depicted in Miss St. +Yves's melting but half averted eyes. Every one was astonished that she +should mingle grief with so much joy.</p> + +<p>The venerable Gordon soon endeared himself to the whole family. He had +been unhappy with the young prisoner, and this was a sufficient title to +their esteem. He owed his deliverance to the two lovers, and this alone +reconciled him to love. The acrimony of his former sentiments was +dismissed from his heart—he was converted by gratitude, as well as the +Huron. Every one related his adventures before supper. The two Abbés and +the aunt listened like children to the relation of stories of ghosts, +and both were deeply interested.</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said Gordon, "there are perhaps upwards of five hundred virtuous +people in the same fetters as Miss St. Yves has broken. Their +misfortunes are unheeded. Many hands are found to strike the unhappy +multitude,—how seldom one to succor them."</p> + +<p>This very just reflection increased his sensibility and gratitude. +Everything heightened the triumph of the beautiful Miss St. Yves. The +grandeur and intrepidity of her soul were the subject of each one's +admiration. This admiration was blended with that respect which we feel +in spite of ourselves for a person who we think has some influence at +court. But the Abbé de St. Yves enquired:</p> + +<p>"What could my sister do to obtain this influence so soon?"</p> + +<p>Supper being ready, every one was already seated, when, lo! the worthy +<i>confidante</i> of Versailles arrived, without being acquainted with +anything that had passed. She was in a coach and six, and it was easily +seen to whom the equipage belonged. She entered with that air of +authority assumed by people in power who have a great deal of +business—saluted the company with much indifference, and, pulling the +beautiful Miss St. Yves on one side, said:</p> + +<p>"Why do you make people wait so long? Follow me. There are the diamonds +you forgot."</p> + +<p>However softly she uttered these expressions, the Huron, nevertheless, +overheard them. He saw the diamonds. The brother was speechless. The +uncle and aunt exhibited the surprise of good people, who had never +before beheld such magnificence. The young man, whose mind was now +formed by an experience of twelve months, could not help making some +reflections against his will, and was for a moment in anxiety. His +mistress perceived it, and a mortal paleness spread itself over her +countenance; a tremor seized her, and it was with difficulty she could +support herself.</p> + +<p>"Ah! madam," said she to her fatal friend, "you have ruined me—you have +given me the mortal blow."</p> + +<p>These words pierced the heart of the Huron: but he had already learned +to possess himself. He did not dwell upon them, lest he should make his +mistress uneasy before her brother, but turned pale as well as she.</p> + +<p>Miss St. Yves, distracted with the change she perceived in her lover's +countenance, pulled the woman out of the room into the passage, and +there threw the jewels at her feet, saying:</p> + +<p>"Alas! these were not my seducers, as you well know: but he that gave +them shall never set eyes on me again."</p> + +<p>Her friend took them up, whilst Miss St. Yves added:</p> + +<p>"He may either take them again, or give them to you. Begone, and do not +make me still more odious to myself."</p> + +<p>The ambassadress at length departed, not being able to comprehend the +remorse to which she had been witness.</p> + +<p>The beautiful Miss St. Yves, greatly oppressed and feeling a revolution +in her body that almost suffocated her, was compelled to go to bed; but +that she might not alarm any one she kept her pains and sufferings to +herself: and under pretence of only being weary, she asked leave to take +a little rest. This, however, she did not do till she had reanimated the +company with consolatory and flattering expressions, and cast such a +kind look upon her lover as darted fire into his soul.</p> + +<p>The supper, of which she did not partake, was in the beginning gloomy; +but this gloominess was of that interesting kind which inspires +reflection and useful conversation, so superior to that frivolous +excitement commonly exhibited, and which is usually nothing more than a +troublesome noise.</p> + +<p>Gordon, in a few words, gave the history of Jansenism and Molinism; of +those persecutions with which one party hampered the other; and of the +obstinacy of both. The Huron entered into a criticism thereupon, pitying +those men who, not satisfied with all the confusion occasioned by these +opposite interests, create evils by imaginary interests and +unintelligible absurdities. Gordon related—the other judged. The guests +listened with emotion, and gained new lights. The duration of +misfortunes, and the shortness of life, then became the topics. It was +remarked that all professions have peculiar vices and dangers annexed to +them; and that from the prince down to the lowest beggar, all seemed +alike to accuse providence. How happens it that so many men, for so +little, perform the office of persecutors, sergeants, and executioners, +to others? With what inhuman indifference does a man in authority sign +papers for the destruction of a family; and with what joy, still more +barbarous, do mercenaries execute them.</p> + +<p>"I saw in my youth," said the good old Gordon, "a relation of the +Marshal de Marillic, who, being prosecuted in his own province on +account of that illustrious but unfortunate man, concealed himself under +a borrowed name in Paris. He was an old man near seventy-two years of +age. His wife, who accompanied him, was nearly of the same age. They had +a libertine son, who at fourteen years of age absconded from his +father's house, turned soldier, and deserted. He had gone through every +gradation of debauchery and misery; at length, having changed his name, +he was in the guards of Cardinal Richelieu, (for this priest, as well as +Mazarine, had guards) and had obtained an exempt's staff in their +company of sergeants.</p> + +<p>"This adventurer was appointed to arrest the old man and his wife, and +acquitted himself with all the obduracy of a man who was willing to +please his master. As he was conducting them, he heard these two victims +deplore the long succession of miseries which had befallen them from +their cradle. This aged couple reckoned as one of their greatest +misfortunes the wildness and loss of their son. He recollected them, but +he nevertheless led them to prison; assuring them, that his Reverence +was to be served in preference to every body else. His Eminence rewarded +his zeal.</p> + +<p>"I have seen a spy of Father de la Chaise betray his own brother, in +hopes of a little benefice, which he did not obtain; and I saw him die, +not of remorse, but of grief at having been cheated by the Jesuit.</p> + +<p>"The vocation of a confessor, which I for a long while exercised, made +me acquainted with the secrets of families. I have known very few, who, +though immersed in the greatest distress, did not externally wear the +mask of felicity and every appearance of joy; and I have always observed +that great grief was the fruit of our unconstrained desires."</p> + +<p>"For my part," said the Huron, "I imagine, that a noble, grateful, +sensible man, may always be happy; and I hope to enjoy an uncheckered +felicity with the charming, generous Miss St. Yves. For I flatter +myself," added he, in addressing himself to her brother with a friendly +smile, "that you will not now refuse me as you did last year: besides, I +shall pursue a more decent method."</p> + +<p>The Abbé was confounded in apologies for the past, and in protesting an +eternal attachment.</p> + +<p>Uncle Kerkabon said this would be the most glorious day of his whole +life. His good aunt Kerkabon, in ecstasies of joy, cried out:</p> + +<p>"I always said you would never be a sub-deacon. This sacrament is +preferable to the other; would to God I had been honored with it! but I +will serve you for a mother."</p> + +<p>And now all vied with each other in applauding the gentle Miss St. Yves.</p> + +<p>Her lover's heart was too full of what she had done for him, and he +loved her too much, for the affair of the jewels to make any permanent +impression on him. But those words, which he too well heard, "<i>you have +given me the mortal blow</i>", still secretly terrified him, and +interrupted all his joy; whilst the eulogiums paid his beautiful +mistress still increased his love. In a word, nothing was thought of but +her,—nothing was mentioned but the happiness those two lovers deserved. +A plan was agitated to live altogether at Paris, and schemes of grandeur +and fortune were formed. These hopes, which the smallest ray of +happiness engenders, were predominant. But the Huron felt, in the secret +recesses of his heart, a sentiment that exploded the illusion. He read +over the promises signed by St. Pouange, and the commission signed +Louvois. These men were painted to him such as they were, or such as +they were thought to be. Every one spoke of the ministers and +administration with the freedom of convivial conversation, which is +considered in France as the most precious liberty to be obtained on +earth.</p> + +<p>"If I were king of France," said the Huron, "this is the kind of +minister that I would choose for the war department. I would have a man +of the highest birth, as he is to give orders to the nobility. I would +require that he should himself have been an officer, and have passed +through the various gradations; or, at least, that he had attained the +rank of Lieutenant General, and was worthy of being a Marshal of France. +For, to be acquainted with the details of the service, is it not +necessary that he himself should have served? and will not officers +obey, with a hundred times more alacrity, a military man, who like +themselves has been signalized by his courage, rather than a mere man of +the cabinet, who, whatever natural ability he may possess, can, at most, +only guess at the operations of a campaign? I should not be displeased +at my minister's generosity, even though it might sometimes embarrass a +little the keeper of the royal treasure. I should desire him to have a +facility in business, and that he should distinguish himself by that +kind of gaiety of mind, which is the lot of men superior to business, +which is so agreeable to the nation, and which renders the performance +of every duty less irksome."</p> + +<p>This is the character he would have chosen for a minister, as he had +constantly observed that such an amiable disposition is incompatible +with cruelty.</p> + +<p>Monsieur de Louvois would not, perhaps, have been satisfied with the +Huron's wishes. His merit lay in a different walk. But whilst they were +still at table, the disorder of the unhappy Miss St. Yves took a fatal +turn. Her blood was on fire,—the symptoms of a malignant fever had +appeared. She suffered, but did not complain, being unwilling to disturb +the pleasure of the guests.</p> + +<p>Her brother, thinking that she was not asleep, went to the foot of her +bed. He was astonished at the condition he found her in. Every body flew +to her. Her lover appeared next to her brother. He was certainly the +most alarmed, and the most affected of any one; but he had learned to +unite discretion to all the happy gifts nature had bestowed upon him, +and a quick sensibility of decorum began to prevail over him.</p> + +<p>A neighboring physician was immediately sent for. He was one of those +itinerant doctors who confound the last disorder they were consulted +upon with the present;—who follow a blind practice in a science from +which the most mature investigations and careful observations do not +preclude uncertainty and danger. He greatly increased the disorder by +prescribing a fashionable nostrum. Can fashion extend to medicine? This +frenzy was then too prevalent in Paris.</p> + +<p>The grief of Miss St. Yves contributed still more than her physician to +render her disorder fatal. Her body suffered martyrdom in the torments +of her mind. The crowd of thoughts which agitated her breast, +communicated to her veins a more dangerous poison than that of the most +burning fever.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="XXh" id="XXh"></a>XX.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE DEATH OF THE BEAUTIFUL MISS ST. YVES, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.</span></h4> + + +<p>Another physician was called in. But, instead of assisting nature and +leaving it to act in a young person whose organs recalled the vital +stream, he applied himself solely to counteract the effects of his +brother's prescription. The disorder, in two days, became mortal. The +brain, which is thought to be the seat of the mind, was as violently +affected as the heart, which, we are told, is the seat of the passions. +By what incomprehensible mechanism are our organs held in subjection to +sentiment and thought? How is it that a single melancholy idea shall +disturb the whole course of the blood; and that the blood should in turn +communicate irregularities to the human understanding? What is that +unknown fluid which certainly exists and which, quicker and more active +than light, flies in less than the twinkling of an eye into all the +channels of life,—produces sensations, memory, joy or grief, reason or +frenzy,—recalls with horror what we would choose to forget; and renders +a thinking animal, either a subject of admiration, or an object of pity +and compassion?</p> + +<p>These were the reflections of the good old Gordon; and these +observations, so natural, which men seldom make, did not prevent his +feeling upon this occasion; for he was not of the number of those gloomy +philosophers who pique themselves upon being insensible.</p> + +<p>He was affected at the fate of this young woman, like a father who sees +his dear child yielding to a slow death. The Abbé de St. Yves was +desperate; the prior and his sister shed floods of tears; but who could +describe the situation of her lover? All expression falls far short of +the intensity of his affliction.</p> + +<p>His aunt, almost lifeless, supported the head of the departing fair in +her feeble arms; her brother was upon his knees at the foot of the bed; +her lover squeezed her hand, which he bathed in tears; his groans rent +the air, whilst he called her his guardian angel, his life, his hope, +his better half, his mistress, his wife. At the word wife, a sigh +escaped her, whilst she looked upon him with inexpressible tenderness, +and then abruptly gave a horrid scream. Presently in one of those +intervals when grief, the oppression of the senses, and pain subside and +leave the soul its liberty and powers, she cried out:</p> + +<p>"I your wife? Ah! dear lover, this name, this happiness, this felicity, +were not destined for me! I die, and I deserve it. O idol of my heart! O +you, whom I sacrificed to infernal demons—it is done—I am +punished—live and be happy!"</p> + +<p>These tender but dreadful expressions were incomprehensible; yet they +melted and terrified every heart. She had the courage to explain +herself, and her auditors quaked with astonishment, grief, and pity. +They with one voice detested the man in power, who repaired a shocking +act of injustice only by his crimes, and who had forced the most amiable +innocence to be his accomplice.</p> + +<p>"Who? you guilty?" said her lover, "no, you are not. Guilt can only be +in the heart;—yours is devoted solely to virtue and to me."</p> + +<p>This opinion he corroborated by such expressions as seemed to recall the +beautiful Miss St. Yves back to life. She felt some consolation from +them and was astonished at being still beloved. The aged Gordon would +have condemned her at the time he was only a Jansenist; but having +attained wisdom, he esteemed her, and wept.</p> + +<p>In the midst of these lamentations and fears, whilst the dangerous +situation of this worthy girl engrossed every breast, and all were in +the greatest consternation, a courier arrived from court.</p> + +<p>"A courier? from whom, and upon what account?"</p> + +<p>He was sent by the king's confessor to the Prior of the Mountain. It was +not Father de la Chaise who wrote, but brother Vadbled, his valet de +chambre, a man of great consequence at that time, who acquainted the +archbishops with the reverend Father's pleasure, who gave audiences, +promised benefices, and sometimes issued <i>lettres de cachet</i>.</p> + +<p>He wrote to the Abbé of the Mountain, "that his reverence had been +informed of his nephew's exploits: that his being sent to prison was +through mistake; that such little accidents frequently happened, and +should therefore not be attended to; and, in fine, it behoved him, the +prior, to come and present his nephew the next day: that he was to bring +with him that good man Gordon; and that he, brother Vadbled, should +introduce them to his reverence and M. de Louvois, who would say a word +to them in his anti-chamber."</p> + +<p>To which he added, "that the history of the Huron, and his combat +against the English, had been related to the king; that doubtless the +king would deign to take notice of him in passing through the gallery, +and perhaps he might even nod his head to him."</p> + +<p>The letter concluded by flattering him with hopes that all the ladies of +the court would show their eagerness to recognize his nephew; and that +several among them would say to him, "Good day, Mr. Huron;" and that he +would certainly be talked of at the king's supper.</p> + +<p>The letter was signed, "Your affectionate brother Jesuit, Vadbled."</p> + +<p>The prior having read the letter aloud, his furious nephew for an +instant suppressed his rage, and said nothing to the bearer: but turning +toward the companion of his misfortunes, asked him, what he thought of +that communication? Gordon replied:</p> + +<p>"This, then, is the way that men are treated! They are first beaten and +then, like monkeys, they dance."</p> + +<p>The Huron resuming his character, which always returned in the great +emotions of his soul, tore the letter to bits, and threw them in the +courier's face:</p> + +<p>"There is my answer," said he.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 443px;"> +<a name="Death_of_Miss_St_Ives" id="Death_of_Miss_St_Ives"></a> +<img src="images/img_056_death.jpg" width="443" alt="Death of Miss St. Ives." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Death of Miss St. Ives.—"When the fatal moment came, all +around her most feelingly expressed their grief by incessant tears and +lamentations. The Huron was senseless. Great souls feel more violent +sensations than those of less tender dispositions."</span> +</div> + +<p>His uncle was in terror, and fancied he saw thunderbolts, and twenty +<i>lettres de cachet</i> at once fall upon him. He immediately wrote the best +excuse he could for these transports of passion in a young man, which he +considered as the ebullition of a great soul.</p> + +<p>But a solicitude of a more melancholy stamp now seized every heart. The +beautiful and unfortunate Miss St. Yves was already sensible of her +approaching end; she was serene, but it was that kind of shocking +serenity, the result of exhausted nature being no longer able to +withstand the conflict.</p> + +<p>"Oh, my dear lover!" said she, in a faltering voice, "death punishes me +for my weakness; but I expire with the consolation of knowing you are +free. I adored you whilst I betrayed you, and I adore you in bidding you +an eternal adieu."</p> + +<p>She did not make a parade of a ridiculous fortitude; she did not +understand that miserable glory of having some of her neighbors say, +"she died with courage." Who, at twenty, can be at once torn from her +lover, from life, and what is called honor, without regret, without some +pangs? She felt all the horror of her situation, and made it felt by +those expiring looks and accents which speak with so much energy. In a +word, she shed tears like other people at those intervals that she was +capable of giving vent to them.</p> + +<p>Let others strive to celebrate the pompous deaths of those who +insensibly rush into destruction. This is the lot of all animals. We die +like them only when age or disorders make us resemble them by the +paralysis of our organs. Whoever suffers a great loss must feel great +regrets. If they are stifled, it is nothing but vanity that is pursued, +even in the arms of death.</p> + +<p>When the fatal moment came, all around her most feelingly expressed +their grief by incessant tears and lamentations. The Huron was +senseless. Great souls feel more violent sensations than those of less +tender dispositions. The good old Gordon knew enough of his companion to +dread that when he came to himself he would be guilty of suicide. All +kinds of arms were put out of his way, which the unfortunate young man +perceived. He said to his relations and Gordon, without shedding any +tears, without a groan, or the least emotion:</p> + +<p>"Do you then think that any one upon earth hath the right and power to +prevent my putting an end to my life?"</p> + +<p>Gordon took care to avoid making a parade of those commonplace +declamations and arguments which are relied on to prove that we are not +allowed to exercise our liberty in ceasing to be when we are in a +wretched situation; that we should not leave the house when we can no +longer remain in it; that a man is like a soldier at his post; as if it +signified to the Being of beings whether the conjunction of the +particles of matter were in one spot or another. Impotent reasons, to +which a firm and concentrated despair disdains to listen, and to which +Cato replied only with the use of a poniard.</p> + +<p>The Huron's sullen and dreadful silence, his doleful aspect, his +trembling lips, and the shivering of his whole frame, communicated to +every spectator's soul that mixture of compassion and terror, which +fetters all our powers, precludes discourse, or compels us to speak only +in faltering accents. The hostess and her family were excited. They +trembled to behold the state of his desperation, yet all kept their eyes +upon him, and attended to all his motions. The ice-cold corpse of the +beautiful Miss St. Yves had already been carried into a lower hall out +of the sight of her lover, who seemed still in search of it, though +incapable of observing any object.</p> + +<p>In the midst of this spectacle of death, whilst the dead body was +exposed at the door of the house; whilst two priests by the side of the +holy water-pot were repeating prayers with an air of distraction; whilst +some passengers, through idleness, sprinkled the bier with some drops of +holy water, and others went their ways quite indifferent; whilst her +relations were drowned in tears, and every one thought the lover would +not survive his loss;—in this situation St. Pouange arrived with his +female Versailles friend.</p> + +<p>He alighted from his coach; and the first object that presented itself +was a bier: he turned away his eyes with that simple distaste of a man +bred up in pleasures, and who thinks he should avoid a spectacle which +might recall him to the contemplation of human misery. He is inclined to +go up stairs, whilst his female friend enquires through curiosity whose +funeral it is. The name of Miss St. Yves is pronounced. At this name she +turned, and gave a piercing shriek. St. Pouange now returns, whilst +surprise and grief possess his soul. The good old Gordon stood with +streaming eyes. He for a moment ceased his lamentations, to acquaint the +courtier with all the circumstances of this melancholy catastrophe. He +spoke with that authority which is the companion to sorrow and virtue. +St. Pouange was not naturally wicked. The torrent of business and +amusements had hurried away his soul, which was not yet acquainted with +itself. He did not border upon that grey age which usually hardens the +hearts of ministers. He listened to Gordon with a downcast look, and +some tears escaped him, which he was surprised to shed. In a word, he +repented.</p> + +<p>"I will," said he, "absolutely see this extraordinary man you have +mentioned to me. He affects me almost as much as this innocent victim, +whose death I have occasioned."</p> + +<p>Gordon followed him as far as the chamber in which the Prior Kerkabon, +the Abbé St. Yves, and some neighbors, were striving to recall to life +the young man, who had again fainted.</p> + +<p>"I have been the cause of your misfortunes," said the deputy minister, +when the Huron had regained consciousness, "and my whole life shall be +employed in making reparation for my error."</p> + +<p>The first idea that struck the Huron was to kill him and then destroy +himself. But he was without arms, and closely watched. St. Pouange was +not repulsed with refusals accompanied with reproach, contempt, and the +insults he deserved, which were lavished upon him. Time softens +everything. Mons. de Louvois at length succeeded in making an excellent +officer of the Huron, who has appeared under another name at Paris and +in the army, respected by all honest men, being at once a warrior and an +intrepid philosopher.</p> + +<p>He never mentioned this adventure without being greatly affected, and +yet his greatest consolation was to speak of it. He cherished the memory +of his beloved Miss St. Yves to the last moment of his life.<a name="FNanchor_1_32" id="FNanchor_1_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_32" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></p> + +<p>The Abbé St. Yves and the Prior were each provided with good livings. +The good Kerkabon rather chose to see his nephew invested with military +honors than in the sub-deaconry. The devotee of Versailles kept the +diamond earrings, and received besides a handsome present. Father +<i>Tout-à-tous</i> had presents of chocolate, coffee, and confectionery, with +the <i>Meditations of the Reverend Father Croiset</i>, and the <i>Flower of the +Saints</i>, bound in Morocco. Good old Gordon lived with the Huron till his +death, in the most friendly intimacy: he had also a benefice, and +forgot, forever, essential grace, and the concomitant concourse. He took +for his motto, "Misfortunes are of some use." How many worthy people are +there in the world who may justly say, "Misfortunes are good for +nothing?"</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_32" id="Footnote_1_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_32"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> In the Play, <i>Civilization</i>, the Huron musingly +soliloquizes: +</p> +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"And what is love to man? An only gift</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Too precious to be idly thrown away!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">For is it not as precious as our land,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Which, heeding not another's golden sky—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Soft airs, sweet flowers, hill and dale conjoin'd</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">By nature's cunning past comparison—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Is still our land; and, as our land, surpasses</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Far such fairy worlds?</span><br /> +</p><p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"There are some dreams that last a life—mine</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Is one of these. I shall dream on till death</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Shall end the vision!</span><br /> +</p><p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"It is not hard to die! And life is but</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">A shadow on the wall—a falling leaf</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Toy'd with by autumn winds—a flower—a star</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Among the infinite, infinitesimal!</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">We are but breath whispering against the wind,—</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;">Sand in the desert!—dew upon the sea!"—E.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h2><a name="MICROMEGAS" id="MICROMEGAS"></a>MICROMEGAS:</h2> + +<h4>A SATIRE ON THE PHILOSOPHY, IGNORANCE. AND SELF-CONCEIT OF MANKIND.</h4> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 326px;"> +<a name="A_medieval_exploring_vessel" id="A_medieval_exploring_vessel"></a> +<img src="images/img_057_vessel.jpg" width="326" alt="A medieval exploring vessel." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">A medieval exploring vessel. +<a name="FNanchor_1_33" id="FNanchor_1_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_33" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></span> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="Im" id="Im"></a>I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">A VOYAGE TO THE PLANET SATURN, BY A NATIVE OF SIRIUS.</span></h4> + + +<p>In one of the planets that revolve round the star known by the name of +Sirius, was a certain young gentleman of promising parts, whom I had the +honor to be acquainted with in his last voyage to this our little +ant-hill. His name was Micromegas, an appellation admirably suited to +all great men, and his stature amounted to eight leagues in height, that +is, twenty-four thousand geometrical paces of five feet each.</p> + +<p>Some of your mathematicians, a set of people always useful to the +public, will, perhaps, instantly seize the pen, and calculate that Mr. +Micromegas, inhabitant of the country of Sirius, being from head to foot +four and twenty thousand paces in length, making one hundred and twenty +thousand royal feet, that we, denizens of this earth, being at a medium +little more than five feet high, and our globe nine thousand leagues in +circumference: these things being premised, they will then conclude that +the periphery of the globe which produced him must be exactly one and +twenty millions six hundred thousand times greater than that of this our +tiny ball. Nothing in nature is more simple and common. The dominions of +some sovereigns of Germany or Italy, which may be compassed in half an +hour, when compared with the empires of Ottoman, Russia, or China, are +no other than faint instances of the prodigious difference that nature +hath made in the scale of beings. The stature of his excellency being of +these extraordinary dimensions, all our artists will agree that the +measure around his body might amount to fifty thousand royal feet—a +very agreeable and just proportion.</p> + +<p>His nose being equal in length to one-third of his face, and his jolly +countenance engrossing one-seventh part of his height, it must be owned +that the nose of this same Sirian was six thousand three hundred and +thirty-three royal feet to a hair, which was to be demonstrated. With +regard to his understanding, it is one of the best cultivated I have +known. He is perfectly well acquainted with abundance of things, some of +which are of his own invention; for, when his age did not exceed two +hundred and fifty years, he studied, according to the custom of the +country, at the most celebrated university of the whole planet, and by +the force of his genius discovered upwards of fifty propositions of +Euclid, having the advantage by more than eighteen of Blaise Pascal, +who, (as we are told by his own sister,) demonstrated two and thirty for +his amusement and then left off, choosing rather to be an indifferent +philosopher than a great mathematician.</p> + +<p>About the four hundred and fiftieth year of his age, or latter end of +his childhood, he dissected a great number of small insects not more +than one hundred feet in diameter, which are not perceivable by ordinary +microscopes, of which he composed a very curious treatise, which +involved him in some trouble. The mufti of the nation, though very old +and very ignorant, made shift to discover in his book certain lemmas +that were suspicious, unseemly, rash, heretic, and unsound, and +prosecuted him with great animosity, for the subject of the author's +inquiry was whether, in the world of Sirius, there was any difference +between the substantial forms of a flea and a snail.</p> + +<p>Micromegas defended his philosophy with such spirit as made all the +female sex his proselytes; and the process lasted two hundred and twenty +years; at the end of which time, in consequence of the mufti's interest, +the book was condemned by judges who had never read it, and the author +expelled from court for the term of eight hundred years.</p> + +<p>Not much affected at his banishment from a court that teemed with +nothing but turmoils and trifles, he made a very humorous song upon the +mufti, who gave himself no trouble about the matter, and set out on his +travels from planet to planet, in order (as the saying is) to improve +his mind and finish his education. Those who never travel but in a +post-chaise or berlin, will, doubtless, be astonished at the equipages +used above; for we that strut upon this little mole hill are at a loss +to conceive anything that surpasses our own customs. But our traveler +was a wonderful adept in the laws of gravitation, together with the +whole force of attraction and repulsion, and made such seasonable use of +his knowledge, that sometimes by the help of a sunbeam, and sometimes by +the convenience of a comet, he and his retinue glided from sphere to +sphere, as the bird hops from one bough to another. He in a very little +time posted through the milky way, and I am obliged to own he saw not a +twinkle of those stars supposed to adorn that fair empyrean, which the +illustrious Dr. Derham brags to have observed through his telescope. Not +that I pretend to say the doctor was mistaken. God forbid! But +Micromegas was upon the spot, an exceeding good observer, and I have no +mind to contradict any man. Be that as it may, after many windings and +turnings, he arrived at the planet Saturn; and, accustomed as he was to +the sight of novelties, he could not for his life repress a supercilious +and conceited smile, which often escapes the wisest philosopher, when he +perceived the smallness of that globe, and the diminutive size of its +inhabitants; for really Saturn is but about nine hundred times larger +than this our earth, and the people of that country mere dwarfs, about a +thousand fathoms high. In short, he at first derided those poor pigmies, +just as an Indian fiddler laughs at the music of Lully, at his first +arrival in Paris: but as this Sirian was a person of good sense, he soon +perceived that a thinking being may not be altogether ridiculous, even +though he is not quite six thousand feet high; and therefore he became +familiar with them, after they had ceased to wonder at his extraordinary +appearance. In particular, he contracted an intimate friendship with the +secretary of the Academy of Saturn, a man of good understanding, who, +though in truth he had invented nothing of his own, gave a very good +account of the inventions of others, and enjoyed in peace the reputation +of a little poet and great calculator. And here, for the edification of +the reader, I will repeat a very singular conversation that one day +passed between Mr. Secretary and Micromegas.</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_33" id="Footnote_1_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_33"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The Gazettes record that this vessel ran ashore on the +coast of Bothnia, when returning from the polar circle with a party of +philosophers on board who had been making observations, for which nobody +has hitherto been the wiser; but, according to this romance, the vessel +was illegally captured in the Baltic sea by the Sirian giant Micromegas +and the Saturnian dwarf.—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIm" id="IIm"></a>II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN MICROMEGAS AND THE INHABITANT OF SATURN.</span></h4> + + +<p>His excellency having laid himself down, and the secretary approached +his nose:</p> + +<p>"It must be confessed," said Micromegas, "that nature is full of +variety."</p> + +<p>"Yes," replied the Saturnian, "nature is like a parterre, whose +flowers—"</p> + +<p>"Pshaw!" cried the other, "a truce with your parterres."</p> + +<p>"It is," resumed the secretary, "like an assembly of fair and brown +women, whose dresses—"</p> + +<p>"What a plague have I to do with your brunettes?" said our traveler.</p> + +<p>"Then it is like a gallery of pictures, the strokes of which—"</p> + +<p>"Not at all," answered Micromegas, "I tell you once for all, nature is +like nature, and comparisons are odious."</p> + +<p>"Well, to please you," said the secretary—</p> + +<p>"I won't be pleased," replied the Sirian, "I want to be instructed; +begin, therefore, without further preamble, and tell me how many senses +the people of this world enjoy."</p> + +<p>"We have seventy and two," said the academician, "but we are daily +complaining of the small number, as our imagination transcends our +wants, for, with the seventy-two senses, our five moons and ring, we +find ourselves very much restricted; and notwithstanding our curiosity, +and the no small number of those passions that result from these few +senses, we have still time enough to be tired of idleness."</p> + +<p>"I sincerely believe what you say," cried Micromegas "for, though we +Sirians have near a thousand different senses, there still remains a +certain vague desire, an unaccountable inquietude incessantly +admonishing us of our own unimportance, and giving us to understand that +there are other beings who are much our superiors in point of +perfection. I have traveled a little, and seen mortals both above and +below myself in the scale of being, but I have met with none who had not +more desire than necessity, and more want than gratification. Perhaps I +shall one day arrive in some country where nought is wanting, but +hitherto I have had no certain information of such a happy land."</p> + +<p>The Saturnian and his guest exhausted themselves in conjectures upon +this subject, and after abundance of argumentation equally ingenious and +uncertain, were fain to return to matter of fact.</p> + +<p>"To what age do you commonly live?" said the Sirian.</p> + +<p>"Lack-a-day! a mere trifle," replied the little gentleman.</p> + +<p>"It is the very same case with us," resumed the other, "the shortness of +life is our daily complaint, so that this must be an universal law in +nature."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" cried the Saturnian, "few, very few on this globe outlive five +hundred great revolutions of the sun; (these, according to our way of +reckoning, amount to about fifteen thousand years.) So, you see, we in a +manner begin to die the very moment we are born: our existence is no +more than a point, our duration an instant, and our globe an atom. +Scarce do we begin to learn a little, when death intervenes before we +can profit by experience. For my own part, I am deterred from laying +schemes when I consider myself as a single drop in the midst of an +immense ocean. I am particularly ashamed, in your presence, of the +ridiculous figure I make among my fellow-creatures."</p> + +<p>To this declaration, Micromegas replied.</p> + +<p>"If you were not a philosopher, I should be afraid of mortifying your +pride by telling you that the term of our lives is seven hundred times +longer than the date of your existence: but you are very sensible that +when the texture of the body is resolved, in order to reanimate nature +in another form, which is the consequence of what we call death—when +that moment of change arrives, there is not the least difference betwixt +having lived a whole eternity, or a single day. I have been in some +countries where the people live a thousand times longer than with us, +and yet they murmured at the shortness of their time. But one will find +every where some few persons of good sense, who know how to make the +best of their portion, and thank the author of nature for his bounty. +There is a profusion of variety scattered through the universe, and yet +there is an admirable vein of uniformity that runs through the whole: +for example, all thinking beings are different among themselves, though +at bottom they resemble one another in the powers and passions of the +soul. Matter, though interminable, hath different properties in every +sphere. How many principal attributes do you reckon in the matter of +this world?"</p> + +<p>"If you mean those properties," said the Saturnian, "without which we +believe this our globe could not subsist, we reckon in all three +hundred, such as extent, impenetrability, motion, gravitation, +divisibility, et cætera."</p> + +<p>"That small number," replied the traveler, "probably answers the views +of the creator on this your narrow sphere. I adore his wisdom in all his +works. I see infinite variety, but every where proportion. Your globe is +small: so are the inhabitants. You have few sensations; because your +matter is endued with few properties. These are the works of unerring +providence. Of what color does your sun appear when accurately +examined?"</p> + +<p>"Of a yellowish white," answered the Saturnian, "and in separating one +of his rays we find it contains seven colors."</p> + +<p>"Our sun," said the Sirian, "is of a reddish hue, and we have no less +than thirty-nine original colors. Among all the suns I have seen there +is no sort of resemblance, and in this sphere of yours there is not one +face like another."</p> + +<p>After divers questions of this nature, he asked how many substances, +essentially different, they counted in the world of Saturn; and +understood that they numbered but thirty: such as God; space; matter; +beings endowed with sense and extension; beings that have extension, +sense, and reflection; thinking beings who have no extension; those that +are penetrable; those that are impenetrable, and also all others. But +this Saturnian philosopher was prodigiously astonished when the Sirian +told him they had no less than three hundred, and that he himself had +discovered three thousand more in the course of his travels. In short, +after having communicated to each other what they knew, and even what +they did not know, and argued during a complete revolution of the sun, +they resolved to set out together on a small philosophical tour.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IIIm" id="IIIm"></a>III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE VOYAGE OF THESE INHABITANTS OF OTHER WORLDS.</span></h4> + + +<p>Our two philosophers were just ready to embark for the atmosphere of +Saturn, with a large provision of mathematical instruments, when the +Saturnian's mistress, having got an inkling of their design, came all in +tears to make her protests. She was a handsome brunette, though not +above six hundred and threescore fathoms high; but her agreeable +attractions made amends for the smallness of her stature.</p> + +<p>"Ah! cruel man," cried she, "after a courtship of fifteen hundred years, +when at length I surrendered, and became your wife, and scarce have +passed two hundred more in thy embraces, to leave me thus, before the +honeymoon is over, and go a rambling with a giant of another world! Go, +go, thou art a mere virtuoso, devoid of tenderness and love! If thou +wert a true Saturnian, thou wouldst be faithful and invariable. Ah! +whither art thou going? what is thy design? Our five moons are not so +inconstant, nor our ring so changeable as thee! But take this along with +thee, henceforth I ne'er shall love another man."</p> + +<p>The little gentleman embraced and wept over her, notwithstanding his +philosophy; and the lady, after having swooned with great decency, went +to console herself with more agreeable company.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile our two virtuosi set out, and at one jump leaped upon the +ring, which they found pretty flat, according to the ingenious guess of +an illustrious inhabitant of this our little earth. From thence they +easily slipped from moon to moon; and a comet chancing to pass, they +sprang upon it with all their servants and apparatus. Thus carried about +one hundred and fifty million of leagues, they met with the satellites +of Jupiter, and arrived upon the body of the planet itself, where they +continued a whole year; during which they learned some very curious +secrets, which would actually be sent to the press, were it not for fear +of the gentlemen inquisitors, who have found among them some corollaries +very hard of digestion. Nevertheless, I have read the manuscript in the +library of the illustrious archbishop of —— who, with that generosity +and goodness which should ever be commended, has granted me permission +to peruse his books; wherefore I promise he shall have a long article in +the next edition of Moreri, and I shall not forget the young gentlemen, +his sons, who give us such pleasing hopes of seeing perpetuated the race +of their illustrious father. But to return to our travelers. When they +took leave of Jupiter, they traversed a space of about one hundred +millions of leagues, and coasting along the planet Mars, which is well +known to be five times smaller than our little earth, they descried two +moons subservient to that orb, which have escaped the observation of all +our astronomers. I know father Castel will write, and that pleasantly +enough, against the existence of these two moons; but I entirely refer +myself to those who reason by analogy. Those worthy philosophers are +very sensible that Mars, which is at such a distance from the sun, must +be in a very uncomfortable situation, without the benefit of a couple of +moons. Be that as it may, our gentlemen found the planet so small, that +they were afraid they should not find room to take a little repose; so +that they pursued their journey like two travelers who despise the +paltry accommodation of a village, and push forward to the next market +town. But the Sirian and his companion soon repented of their delicacy, +for they journeyed a long time without finding a resting place, till at +length they discerned a small speck, which was the Earth. Coming from +Jupiter, they could not but be moved with compassion at the sight of +this miserable spot, upon which, however, they resolved to land, lest +they should be a second time disappointed. They accordingly moved toward +the tail of the comet, where, finding an Aurora Borealis ready to set +sail, they embarked, and arrived on the northern coast of the Baltic on +the fifth day of July, new style, in the year 1737.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="IVm" id="IVm"></a>IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">WHAT BEFELL THEM UPON THIS OUR GLOBE.</span></h4> + + +<p>Having taken some repose, and being desirous of reconnoitering the +narrow field in which they were, they traversed it at once from north to +south. Every step of the Sirian and his attendants measured about thirty +thousand royal feet: whereas, the dwarf of Saturn, whose stature did not +exceed a thousand fathoms, followed at a distance quite out of breath; +because, for every single stride of his companion, he was obliged to +make twelve good steps at least. The reader may figure to himself, (if +we are allowed to make such comparisons,) a very little rough spaniel +dodging after a captain of the Prussian grenadiers.</p> + +<p>As those strangers walked at a good pace, they compassed the globe in +six and thirty hours; the sun, it is true, or rather the earth, +describes the same space in the course of one day; but it must be +observed that it is much easier to turn upon an axis than to walk +a-foot. Behold them then returned to the spot from whence they had set +out, after having discovered that almost imperceptible sea, which is +called the Mediterranean; and the other narrow pond that surrounds this +mole-hill, under the denomination of the great ocean; in wading through +which the dwarf had never wet his mid-leg, while the other scarce +moistened his heel. In going and coming through both hemispheres, they +did all that lay in their power to discover whether or not the globe was +inhabited. They stooped, they lay down, they groped in every corner, but +their eyes and hands were not at all proportioned to the small beings +that crawl upon this earth; and, therefore, they could not find the +smallest reason to suspect that we and our fellow-citizens of this globe +had the honor to exist.</p> + +<p>The dwarf, who sometimes judged too hastily, concluded at once that +there was no living creatures upon earth; and his chief reason was, that +he had seen nobody. But Micromegas, in a polite manner, made him +sensible of the unjust conclusion:</p> + +<p>"For," said he, "with your diminutive eyes you cannot see certain stars +of the fiftieth magnitude, which I easily perceive; and do you take it +for granted that no such stars exist?"</p> + +<p>"But I have groped with great care?" replied the dwarf.</p> + +<p>"Then your sense of feeling must be bad," said the other.</p> + +<p>"But this globe," said the dwarf, "is ill contrived; and so irregular in +its form as to be quite ridiculous. The whole together looks like a +chaos. Do but observe these little rivulets; not one of them runs in a +straight line; and these ponds which are neither round, square, nor +oval, nor indeed of any regular figure, together with these little sharp +pebbles, (meaning the mountains,) that roughen the whole surface of the +globe, and have torn all the skin from my feet. Besides, pray take +notice of the shape of the whole, how it flattens at the poles, and +turns round the sun in an awkward oblique manner, so as that the polar +circles cannot possibly be cultivated. Truly, what makes me believe +there is no inhabitant on this sphere, is a full persuasion that no +sensible being would live in such a disagreeable place."</p> + +<p>"What then?" said Micromegas, "perhaps the beings that inhabit it come +not under that denomination; but, to all appearance, it was not made for +nothing. Everything here seems to you irregular; because you fetch all +your comparisons from Jupiter or Saturn. Perhaps this is the very reason +of the seeming confusion which you condemn; have I not told you, that in +the course of my travels I have always met with variety?"</p> + +<p>The Saturnian replied to all these arguments; and perhaps the dispute +would have known no end, if Micromegas, in the heat of the contest, had +not luckily broken the string of his diamond necklace, so that the +jewels fell to the ground; they consisted of pretty small unequal +karats, the largest of which weighed four hundred pounds, and the +smallest fifty. The dwarf, in helping to pick them up, perceived, as +they approached his eye, that every single diamond was cut in such a +manner as to answer the purpose of an excellent microscope. He therefore +took up a small one, about one hundred and sixty feet in diameter, and +applied it to his eye, while Micromegas chose another of two thousand +five hundred feet. Though they were of excellent powers, the observers +could perceive nothing by their assistance, so they were altered and +adjusted. At length, the inhabitant of Saturn discerned something almost +imperceptible moving between two waves in the Baltic. This was no other +than a whale, which, in a dexterous manner, he caught with his little +finger, and, placing it on the nail of his thumb, showed it to the +Syrian, who laughed heartily at the excessive smallness peculiar to +the inhabitants of this our globe. The Saturnian, by this time convinced +that our world was inhabited, began to imagine we had no other animals +than whales; and being a mighty debater, he forthwith set about +investigating the origin and motion of this small atom, curious to know +whether or not it was furnished with ideas, judgment, and free will. +Micromegas was very much perplexed upon this subject. He examined the +animal with the most patient attention, and the result of his inquiry +was, that he could see no reason to believe a soul was lodged in such a +body. The two travelers were actually inclined to think there was no +such thing as mind in this our habitation, when, by the help of their +microscope, they perceived something as large as a whale floating upon +the surface of the sea. It is well known that, at this period, a flight +of philosophers were upon their return from the polar circle, where they +had been making observations, for which nobody has hitherto been the +wiser. The gazettes record, that their vessel ran ashore on the coast of +Bothnia and that they with great difficulty saved their lives; but in +this world one can never dive to the bottom of things. For my own part, +I will ingenuously recount the transaction just as it happened, without +any addition of my own; and this is no small effort in a modern +historian.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="Vm" id="Vm"></a>V.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE TRAVELERS CAPTURE A VESSEL.</span></h4> + + +<p>Micromegas stretched out his hand gently toward the place where the +object appeared, and advanced two fingers, which he instantly pulled +back, for fear of being disappointed, then opening softly and shutting +them all at once, he very dexterously seized the ship that contained +those gentlemen, and placed it on his nail, avoiding too much pressure, +which might have crushed the whole in pieces.</p> + +<p>"This," said the Saturnian dwarf, "is a creature very different from the +former."</p> + +<p>Upon which the Sirian placing the supposed animal in the hollow of his +hand, the passengers and crew, who believed themselves thrown by a +hurricane upon some rock, began to put themselves in motion. The sailors +having hoisted out some casks of wine, jumped after them into the hand +of Micromegas: the mathematicians having secured their quadrants, +sectors, and Lapland servants, went overboard at a different place, and +made such a bustle in their descent, that the Sirian at length felt his +fingers tickled by something that seemed to move. An iron bar chanced to +penetrate about a foot deep into his forefinger; and from this prick he +concluded that something had issued from the little animal he held in +his hand; but at first he suspected nothing more: for the microscope, +that scarce rendered a whale and a ship visible, had no effect upon an +object so imperceptible as man.</p> + +<p>I do not intend to shock the vanity of any person whatever; but here I +am obliged to beg your people of importance to consider that, supposing +the stature of a man to be about five feet, we mortals make just such a +figure upon the earth, as an animal the sixty thousandth part of a foot +in height, would exhibit upon a bowl ten feet in circumference. When you +reflect upon a being who could hold this whole earth in the palm of his +hand, and is provided with organs proportioned to those we possess, you +will easily conceive that there must be a great variety of created +substances;—and pray, what must such beings think of those battles by +which a conqueror gains a small village, to lose it again in the +sequel?</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 360px;"> +<a name="Micromegas_captures_a_ship" id="Micromegas_captures_a_ship"></a> +<img src="images/img_058_micromegas.jpg" width="360" alt="Micromegas captures a ship." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Micromegas captures a ship.</span> +</div> + +<p>I do not at all doubt, but if some captain of grenadiers should chance +to read this work, he would add two large feet at least to the caps of +his company; but I assure him his labor will be in vain; for, do what he +will, he and his soldiers will never be other than infinitely diminutive +and inconsiderable.</p> + +<p>What wonderful address must have been inherent in our Sirian +philosopher, that enabled him to perceive those atoms of which we have +been speaking. When Leuwenhoek and Hartsoecker observed the first +rudiments of which we are formed, they did not make such an astonishing +discovery. What pleasure, therefore, was the portion of Micromegas, in +observing the motion of those little machines, in examining all their +pranks, and following them in all their operations! With what joy did he +put his microscope into his companion's hand; and with what transport +did they both at once exclaim:</p> + +<p>"I see them distinctly,—don't you see them carrying burdens, lying down +and rising up again?"</p> + +<p>So saying, their hands shook with eagerness to see, and apprehension to +lose such uncommon objects. The Saturnian, making a sudden transition +from the most cautious distrust to the most excessive credulity, +imagined he saw them engaged in their devotions and cried aloud in +astonishment.</p> + +<p>Nevertheless, he was deceived by appearances: a case too common, whether +we do or do not make use of microscopes.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h3><a name="VIm" id="VIm"></a>VI.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">WHAT HAPPENED IN THEIR INTERCOURSE WITH MEN.</span></h4> + + +<p>Micromegas being a much better observer than the dwarf, perceived +distinctly that those atoms spoke; and made the remark to his companion, +who was so much ashamed of being mistaken in his first suggestion, that +he would not believe such a puny species could possibly communicate +their ideas: for, though he had the gift of tongues, as well as his +companion, he could not hear those particles speak; and therefore +supposed they had no language.</p> + +<p>"Besides, how should such imperceptible beings have the organs of +speech? and what in the name of Jove can they say to one another? In +order to speak, they must have something like thought, and if they +think, they must surely have something equivalent to a soul. Now, to +attribute anything like a soul to such an insect species appears a mere +absurdity."</p> + +<p>"But just now," replied the Sirian, "you believed they were engaged in +devotional exercises; and do you think this could be done without +thinking, without using some sort of language, or at least some way of +making themselves understood? Or do you suppose it is more difficult to +advance an argument than to engage in physical exercise? For my own +part, I look upon all faculties as alike mysterious."</p> + +<p>"I will no longer venture to believe or deny," answered the dwarf. "In +short I have no opinion at all, let us endeavor to examine these +insects, and we will reason upon them afterward."</p> + +<p>"With all my heart," said Micromegas, who, taking out a pair of scissors +which he kept for paring his nails, cut off a paring from his thumb +nail, of which he immediately formed a large kind of speaking trumpet, +like a vast tunnel, and clapped the pipe to his ear: as the +circumference of this machine included the ship and all the crew, the +most feeble voice was conveyed along the circular fibres of the nail; so +that, thanks to his industry, the philosopher could distinctly hear the +buzzing of our insects that were below. In a few hours he distinguished +articulate sounds, and at last plainly understood the French language. +The dwarf heard the same, though with more difficulty.</p> + +<p>The astonishment of our travelers increased every instant. They heard a +nest of mites talk in a very sensible strain: and that <i>Lusus Naturæ</i>? +seemed to them inexplicable. You need not doubt but the Sirian and his +dwarf glowed with impatience to enter into conversation with such atoms. +Micromegas being afraid that his voice, like thunder, would deafen and +confound the mites, without being understood by them, saw the necessity +of diminishing the sound; each, therefore, put into his mouth a sort of +small toothpick, the slender end of which reached to the vessel. The +Sirian setting the dwarf upon his knees, and the ship and crew upon his +nail, held down his head and spoke softly. In fine, having taken these +and a great many more precautions, he addressed himself to them in these +words:</p> + +<p>"O ye invisible insects, whom the hand of the Creator hath deigned to +produce in the abyss of infinite littleness! I give praise to his +goodness, in that he hath been pleased to disclose unto me those secrets +that seemed to be impenetrable."</p> + +<p>If ever there was such a thing as astonishment, it seized upon the +people who heard this address, and who could not conceive from whence it +proceeded. The chaplain of the ship repeated exorcisms, the sailors +swore, and the philosophers formed a system; but, notwithstanding all +their systems, they could not divine who the person was that spoke to +them. Then the dwarf of Saturn, whose voice was softer than that of +Micromegas, gave them briefly to understand what species of beings they +had to do with. He related the particulars of their voyage from Saturn, +made them acquainted with the rank and quality of Monsieur Micromegas; +and, after having pitied their smallness, asked if they had always been +in that miserable state so near akin to annihilation; and what their +business was upon that globe which seemed to be the property of whales. +He also desired to know if they were happy in their situation? if they +were inspired with souls? and put a hundred questions of the like +nature.</p> + +<p>A certain mathematician on board, braver than the rest, and shocked to +hear his soul called in question, planted his quadrant, and having taken +two observations of this interlocutor, said: "You believe then, Mr., +what's your name, that because you measure from head to foot a thousand +fathoms—"</p> + +<p>"A thousand fathoms!" cried the dwarf, "good heavens! How should he know +the height of my stature? A thousand fathoms! My very dimensions to a +hair. What, measured by a mite! This atom, forsooth, is a geometrician, +and knows exactly how tall I am; while I, who can scarce perceive him +through a microscope, am utterly ignorant of his extent!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I have taken your measure," answered the philosopher, "and I will +now do the same by your tall companion."</p> + +<p>The proposal was embraced: his excellency reclined upon his side; for, +had he stood upright, his head would have reached too far above the +clouds. Our mathematicians planted a tall tree near him, and then, by a +series of triangles joined together, they discovered that the object of +their observation was a strapping youth, exactly one hundred and twenty +thousand royal feet in length. In consequence of this calculation, +Micromegas uttered these words:</p> + +<p>"I am now more than ever convinced that we ought to judge of nothing by +its external magnitude. O God! who hast bestowed understanding upon such +seemingly contemptible substances, thou canst with equal ease produce +that which is infinitely small, as that which is incredibly great: and +if it be possible, that among thy works there are beings still more +diminutive than these, they may nevertheless, be endued with +understanding superior to the intelligence of those stupendous animals I +have seen in heaven, a single foot of whom is larger than this whole +globe on which I have alighted."</p> + +<p>One of the philosophers assured him that there were intelligent beings +much smaller than men, and recounted not only Virgil's whole fable of +the bees, but also described all that Swammerdam hath discovered, and +Réaumur dissected. In a word, he informed him that there are animals +which bear the same proportion to bees, that bees bear to man; the same +as the Sirian himself compared to those vast beings whom he had +mentioned; and as those huge animals are to other substances, before +whom they would appear like so many particles of dust. Here the +conversation became very interesting, and Micromegas proceeded in these +words:</p> + +<p>"O ye intelligent atoms, in whom the Supreme Being hath been pleased to +manifest his omniscience and power, without all doubt your joys on this +earth must be pure and exquisite: for, being unincumbered with matter, +and, to all appearance, little else than soul, you must spend your lives +in the delights of pleasure and reflection, which are the true +enjoyments of a perfect spirit. True happiness I have no where found; +but certainly here it dwells."</p> + +<p>At this harangue all the philosophers shook their heads, and one among +them, more candid than his brethren, frankly owned, that excepting a +very small number of inhabitants who were very little esteemed by their +fellows, all the rest were a parcel of knaves, fools, and miserable +wretches.</p> + +<p>"We have matter enough," said he, "to do abundance of mischief, if +mischief comes from matter; and too much understanding, if evil flows +from understanding. You must know, for example, that at this very +moment, while I am speaking, there are one hundred thousand animals of +our own species, covered with hats, slaying an equal number of their +fellow-creatures, who wear turbans; at least they are either slaying or +being slain; and this hath usually been the case all over the earth from +time immemorial."</p> + +<p>The Sirian, shuddering at this information, begged to know the cause of +those horrible quarrels among such a puny race; and was given to +understand that the subject of the dispute was a pitiful mole-hill +[called Palestine,] no larger than his heel. Not that any one of those +millions who cut one another's throats pretends to have the least claim +to the smallest particle of that clod. The question is, whether it shall +belong to a certain person who is known by the name of Sultan, or to +another whom (for what reason I know not) they dignify with the +appellation of Pope. Neither the one nor the other has seen or ever will +see the pitiful corner in question; and probably none of these wretches, +who so madly destroy each other, ever beheld the ruler on whose account +they are so mercilessly sacrificed!</p> + +<p>"Ah, miscreants!" cried the indignant Sirian, "such excess of desperate +rage is beyond conception. I have a good mind to take two or three +steps, and trample the whole nest of such ridiculous assassins under my +feet."</p> + +<p>"Don't give yourself the trouble," replied the philosopher, "they are +industrious enough in procuring their own destruction. At the end of ten +years the hundredth part of those wretches will not survive; for you +must know that, though they should not draw a sword in the cause they +have espoused, famine, fatigue, and intemperance, would sweep almost all +of them from the face of the earth. Besides, the punishment should not +be inflicted upon them, but upon those sedentary and slothful +barbarians, who, from their palaces, give orders for murdering a million +of men and then solemnly thank God for their success."</p> + +<p>Our traveler was moved with compassion for the entire human race, in +which he discovered such astonishing contrasts. "Since you are of the +small number of the wise," said he, "and in all likelihood do not engage +yourselves in the trade of murder for hire, be so good as to tell me +your occupation."</p> + +<p>"We anatomize flies," replied the philosopher, "we measure lines, we +make calculations, we agree upon two or three points which we +understand, and dispute upon two or three thousand that are beyond our +comprehension."</p> + +<p>"How far," said the Sirian, "do you reckon the distance between the +great star of the constellation Gemini and that called Caniculæ?"</p> + +<p>To this question all of them answered with one voice: "Thirty-two +degrees and a half."</p> + +<p>"And what is the distance from hence to the moon?"</p> + +<p>"Sixty semi-diameters of the earth."</p> + +<p>He then thought to puzzle them by asking the weight of the air; but they +answered distinctly, that common air is about nine hundred times +specifically lighter than an equal column of the lightest water, and +nineteen hundred times lighter than current gold. The little dwarf of +Saturn, astonished at their answers, was now tempted to believe those +people sorcerers, who, but a quarter of an hour before, he would not +allow were inspired with souls.</p> + +<p>"Well," said Micromegas, "since you know so well what is without you, +doubtless you are still more perfectly acquainted with that which is +within. Tell me what is the soul, and how do your ideas originate?"</p> + +<p>Here the philosophers spoke altogether as before; but each was of a +different opinion. The eldest quoted Aristotle; another pronounced the +name of Descartes; a third mentioned Mallebranche; a fourth Leibnitz; +and a fifth Locke. An old peripatecian lifting up his voice, exclaimed +with an air of confidence. "The soul is perfection and reason, having +power to be such as it is, as Aristotle expressly declares, page 633, of +the Louvre edition:</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 2.5em;">"<i>Εντελεχεῖά τις ἐστι, καὶ λόγος τοὖ δύναμιν ἓχοντος</i></span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 3em;"><i>τοιοὗδι εἷ ταἷ</i>."</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>"I am not very well versed in Greek," said the giant.</p> + +<p>"Nor I either," replied the philosophical mite.</p> + +<p>"Why then do you quote that same Aristotle in Greek?" resumed the +Sirian.</p> + +<p>"Because," answered the other, "it is but reasonable we should quote +what we do not comprehend in a language we do not understand."</p> + +<p>Here the Cartesian interposing: "The soul," said he, "is a pure spirit +or intelligence, which hath received before birth all the metaphysical +ideas; but after that event it is obliged to go to school and learn +anew the knowledge which it hath lost."</p> + +<p>"So it was necessary," replied the animal of eight leagues, "that thy +soul should be learned before birth, in order to be so ignorant when +thou hast got a beard upon thy chin. But what dost thou understand by +spirit?"</p> + +<p>"I have no idea of it," said the philosopher, "indeed it is supposed to +be immaterial."</p> + +<p>"At least, thou knowest what matter is?" resumed the Sirian.</p> + +<p>"Perfectly well," answered the other. "For example: that stone is gray, +is of a certain figure, has three dimensions, specific weight, and +divisibility."</p> + +<p>"I want to know," said the giant, "what that object is, which, according +to thy observation, hath a gray color, weight, and divisibility. Thou +seest a few qualities, but dost thou know the nature of the thing +itself?"</p> + +<p>"Not I, truly," answered the Cartesian.</p> + +<p>Upon which the Sirian admitted that he also was ignorant in regard to +this subject. Then addressing himself to another sage, who stood upon +his thumb, he asked "what is the soul? and what are her functions?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing at all," replied this disciple of Mallebranche; "God hath made +everything for my convenience. In him I see everything, by him I act; he +is the universal agent, and I never meddle in his work."</p> + +<p>"That is being a nonentity indeed," said the Sirian sage; and then, +turning to a follower of Leibnitz, he exclaimed: "Hark ye, friend, what +is thy opinion of the soul?"</p> + +<p>"In my opinion," answered this metaphysician, "the soul is the hand that +points at the hour, while my body does the office of the clock; or, if +you please, the soul is the clock, and the body is the pointer; or +again, my soul is the mirror of the universe, and my body the frame. All +this is clear and uncontrovertible."</p> + +<p>A little partisan of Locke who chanced to be present, being asked his +opinion on the same subject, said: "I do not know by what power I think; +but well I know that I should never have thought without the assistance +of my senses. That there are immaterial and intelligent substances I do +not at all doubt; but that it is impossible for God to communicate the +faculty of thinking to matter, I doubt very much. I revere the eternal +power, to which it would ill become me to prescribe bounds. I affirm +nothing, and am contented to believe that many more things are possible +than are usually thought so."</p> + +<p>The Sirian smiled at this declaration, and did not look upon the author +as the least sagacious of the company: and as for the dwarf of Saturn, +he would have embraced this adherent of Locke, had it not been for the +extreme disproportion in their respective sizes. But unluckily there was +another animalcule in a square cap, who, taking the word from all his +philosophical brethren, affirmed that he knew the whole secret, which +was contained in the abridgment of St. Thomas. He surveyed the two +celestial strangers from top to toe, and maintained to their faces that +their persons, their fashions, their suns and their stars, were created +solely for the use of man. At this wild assertion our two travelers were +seized with a fit of that uncontrollable laughter, which (according to +Homer) is the portion of the immortal gods: their bellies quivered, +their shoulders rose and fell, and, during these convulsions, the vessel +fell from the Sirian's nail into the Saturnian's pocket, where these +worthy people searched for it a long time with great diligence. At +length, having found the ship and set everything to rights again, the +Sirian resumed the discourse with those diminutive mites, and promised +to compose for them a choice book of philosophy which would demonstrate +the very essence of things. Accordingly, before his departure, he made +them a present of the book, which was brought to the Academy of Sciences +at Paris, but when the old secretary came to open it he saw nothing but +blank paper, upon which:—</p> + +<p>"Ay, ay," said he, "this is just what I suspected."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 155px;"> +<img src="images/img_059_book.jpg" width="155" alt="book" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + + +<h2><a name="THE_WORLD_AS_IT_GOES" id="THE_WORLD_AS_IT_GOES"></a>THE WORLD AS IT GOES.</h2> + +<h4>THE VISION OF BABOUC.</h4> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 446px;"> +<a name="The_spiritual_rulers_of_Persepolis" id="The_spiritual_rulers_of_Persepolis"></a> +<img src="images/img_060_persepolis.jpg" width="446" alt="The spiritual rulers of Persepolis." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The spiritual rulers of Persepolis. +<a name="FNanchor_1_34" id="FNanchor_1_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_34" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> +</span> +</div> + + +<p>Among the genii who preside over the empires of the earth, Ithuriel held +one of the first ranks, and had the department of Upper Asia. He one +morning descended into the abode of Babouc, the Scythian, who dwelt on +the banks of the Oxus, and said to him:</p> + +<p>"Babouc, the follies and vices of the Persians have drawn upon them our +indignation. Yesterday an assembly of the genii of Upper Asia was held, +to consider whether we would chastise Persepolis or destroy it entirely. +Go to that city; examine everything; return and give me a faithful +account; and, according to thy report, I will then determine whether to +correct or extirpate the inhabitants."</p> + +<p>"But, my lord," said Babouc with great humility, "I have never been in +Persia, nor do I know a single person in that country."</p> + +<p>"So much the better," said the angel, "thou wilt be the more impartial: +thou hast received from heaven the spirit of discernment, to which I now +add the power of inspiring confidence. Go, see, hear, observe, and fear +nothing. Thou shalt everywhere meet with a favorable reception."</p> + +<p>Babouc mounted his camel, and set out with his servants. After having +traveled some days, he met, near the plains of Senaar, the Persian army, +which was going to attack the forces of India. He first addressed +himself to a soldier, whom he found at a distance from the main army, +and asked him what was the occasion of the war?</p> + +<p>"By all the gods," said the soldier, "I know nothing of the matter. It +is none of my business. My trade is to kill and to be killed, to get a +livelihood. It is of no consequence to me whom I serve. To-morrow, +perhaps, I may go over to the Indian camp; for it is said that they give +their soldiers nearly half a copper drachma a day more than we have in +this cursed service of Persia. If thou desirest to know why we fight, +speak to my captain."</p> + +<p>Babouc, having given the soldier a small present, entered the camp. He +soon became acquainted with the captain, and asked him the cause of the +war.</p> + +<p>"How canst thou imagine that I should know it?" said the captain, "or of +what importance is it to me? I live about two hundred leagues from +Persepolis: I hear that war is declared. I instantly leave my family, +and, having nothing else to do, go, according to our custom, to make my +fortune, or to fall by a glorious death."</p> + +<p>"But are not thy companions," said Babouc, "a little better informed +than thee?"</p> + +<p>"No," said the officer, "there are none but our principal satraps that +know the true cause of our cutting one another's throats."</p> + +<p>Babouc, struck with astonishment, introduced himself to the generals, +and soon became familiarly acquainted with them. At last one of them +said:</p> + +<p>"The cause of this war, which for twenty years past hath desolated Asia, +sprang originally from a quarrel between a eunuch belonging to one of +the concubines of the great king of Persia, and the clerk of a factory +belonging to the great king of India. The dispute was about a claim +which amounted nearly to the thirtieth part of a daric. Our first +minister, and the representative of India, maintained the rights of +their respective masters with becoming dignity. The dispute grew warm. +Both parties sent into the field an army of a million of soldiers. This +army must be recruited every year with upwards of four hundred thousand +men. Massacres, burning of houses, ruin and devastation, are daily +multiplied; the universe suffers; and their mutual animosity still +continues. The first ministers of the two nations frequently protest +that they have nothing in view but the happiness of mankind; and every +protestation is attended with the destruction of a town, or the +desolation of a province."</p> + +<p>Next day, on a report being spread that peace was going to be concluded, +the Persian and Indian generals made haste to come to an engagement. The +battle was long and bloody. Babouc beheld every crime, and every +abomination. He was witness to the arts and stratagems of the principal +satraps, who did all that lay in their power to expose their general to +the disgrace of a defeat. He saw officers killed by their own troops, +and soldiers stabbing their already expiring comrades in order to strip +them of a few bloody garments torn and covered with dirt. He entered the +hospitals to which they were conveying the wounded, most of whom died +through the inhuman negligence of those who were well paid by the king +of Persia to assist these unhappy men.</p> + +<p>"Are these men," cried Babouc, "or are they wild beasts? Ah! I plainly +see that Persepolis will be destroyed."</p> + +<p>Full of this thought, he went over to the camp of the Indians, where, +according to the prediction of the genii, he was as well received as in +that of the Persians; but he saw there the same crimes which had already +filled him with horror.</p> + +<p>"Oh!" said he to himself, "if the angel Ithuriel should exterminate the +Persians, the angel of India must certainly destroy the Indians."</p> + +<p>But being afterward more particularly informed of all that passed in +both armies, he heard of such acts of generosity, humanity, and +greatness of soul, as at once surprised and charmed him:</p> + +<p>"Unaccountable mortals! as ye are," cried he, "how can you thus unite so +much baseness and so much grandeur, so many virtues and so many vices?"</p> + +<p>Meanwhile the peace was proclaimed; and the generals of the two armies, +neither of whom had gained a complete victory, but who, for their own +private interest, had shed the blood of so many of their +fellow-creatures, went to solicit their courts for rewards. The peace +was celebrated in public writings which announced the return of virtue +and happiness to the earth.</p> + +<p>"God be praised," said Babouc, "Persepolis will now be the abode of +spotless innocence, and will not be destroyed, as the cruel genii +intended. Let us haste without delay to the capital of Asia."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>He entered that immense city by the ancient gate, which was entirely +barbarous, and offended the eye by its disagreeable rusticity. All that +part of the town savored of the time when it was built; for, +notwithstanding the obstinacy of men in praising ancient at the expense +of modern times, it must be owned that the first essays in every art are +rude and unfinished.</p> + +<p>Babouc mingled in a crowd of people composed of the most ignorant, dirty +and deformed of both sexes, who were thronging with a stupid air into a +large and gloomy inclosure. By the constant hum; by the gestures of the +people; by the money which some persons gave to others for the liberty +of sitting down, he imagined that he was in a market, where chairs were +sold: but observing several women fall down on their knees with an +appearance of looking directly before them, while in reality they were +leering at the men by their sides, he was soon convinced that he was in +a temple. Shrill, hoarse, savage and discordant voices made the vault +re-echo with ill articulated sounds, that produced the same effect as +the braying of asses, when, in the plains of Pictavia, they answer the +cornet that calls them together. He stopped his ears; but he was ready +to shut his mouth and hold his nose, when he saw several laborers enter +into the temple with picks and spades, who removed a large stone, and +threw up the earth on both sides, from whence exhaled a pestilential +vapor. At last some others approached, deposited a dead body in the +opening, and replaced the stone upon it.</p> + +<p>"What!" cried Babouc, "do these people bury their dead in the place +where they adore the deity? What! are their temples paved with +carcasses? I am no longer surprised at those pestilential diseases +that frequently depopulate Persepolis. The putrefaction of the dead, and +the infected breath of such numbers of the living, assembled and crowded +together in the same place, are sufficient to poison the whole +terrestial globe. Oh! what an abominable city is Persepolis! The angels +probably intend to destroy it in order to build a more beautiful one in +its place, and to people it with inhabitants who are more virtuous and +better singers. Providence may have its reasons for so doing; to its +disposal let us leave all future events."</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 516px;"> +<a name="Burying_the_dead_in_churches" id="Burying_the_dead_in_churches"></a> +<img src="images/img_061_burying_the_dead.jpg" width="516" alt="Burying the dead in churches." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Burying the dead in churches.—"<i>What!</i>" cried Babouc, "<i>do +these people bury their dead in the place where they adore the deity? +What! are their temples paved with carcasses?</i>"</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Meanwhile the sun approached his meridian height. Babouc was to dine at +the other end of the city with a lady for whom her husband, an officer +in the army, had given him some letters: but he first took several turns +in Persepolis, where he saw other temples, better built and more richly +adorned, filled with a polite audience, and resounding with harmonious +music. He beheld public fountains, which, though ill-placed, struck the +eye by their beauty; squares where the best kings that had governed +Persia seemed to breathe in bronze, and others where he heard the people +crying out:</p> + +<p>"When shall we see our beloved master?"</p> + +<p>He admired the magnificent bridges built over the river; the superb and +commodious quays; the palaces raised on both sides; and an immense +house, where thousands of old soldiers, covered with scars and crowned +with victory, offered their daily praises to the god of armies. At last +he entered the house of the lady, who, with a set of fashionable people, +waited his company to dinner. The house was neat and elegant; the repast +delicious; the lady young, beautiful, witty, and engaging; and the +company worthy of her; and Babouc every moment said to himself:</p> + +<p>"The angel Ithuriel has little regard for the world, or he would never +think of destroying such a charming city."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>In the meantime he observed that the lady, who had begun by tenderly +asking news about her husband, spoke more tenderly to a young magi, +toward the conclusion of the repast. He saw a magistrate, who, in +presence of his wife, paid his court with great vivacity to a widow, +while the indulgent widow held out her hand to a young citizen, +remarkable for his modesty and graceful appearance.</p> + +<p>Babouc then began to fear that the genius Ithuriel had but too much +reason for destroying Persepolis. The talent he possessed of gaining +confidence let him that same day into all the secrets of the lady. She +confessed to him her affection for the young magi, and assured him that +in all the houses in Persepolis he would meet with similar examples of +attachment. Babouc concluded that such a society could not possibly +survive: that jealousy, discord, and vengeance must desolate every +house; that tears and blood must be daily shed; and, <i>in fine</i>, that +Ithuriel would do well to destroy immediately a city abandoned to +continual disasters.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Such were the gloomy ideas that possessed his mind, when a grave man in +a black gown appeared at the gate and humbly begged to speak to the +young magistrate. Phis stripling, without rising or taking the least +notice of the old gentleman, gave him some papers with a haughty and +careless air, and then dismissed him. Babouc asked who this man was. The +mistress of the house said to him in a low voice:</p> + +<p>"He is one of the best advocates in the city, and hath studied the law +these fifty years. The other, who is but twenty-five years of age, and +has only been a satrap of the law for two days, hath ordered him to make +an extract of a process he is going to determine, though he has not as +yet examined it."</p> + +<p>"This giddy youth acts wisely," said Babouc, "in asking counsel of an +old man. But why is not the old man himself the judge?"</p> + +<p>"Thou art surely in jest," said they; "those who have grown old in +laborious and inferior posts are never raised to places of dignity. This +young man has a great post, because his father is rich; and the right of +dispensing justice is purchased here like a farm."</p> + +<p>"O unhappy city!" cried Babouc, "this is surely the height of anarchy +and confusion. Those who have thus purchased the right of judging will +doubtless sell their judgments; nothing do I see here but an abyss of +iniquity!"</p> + +<p>While he was thus expressing his grief and surprise, a young warrior, +who that very day had returned from the army, said to him:</p> + +<p>"Why wouldst thou not have seats in the courts of justice offered for +sale? I myself purchased the right of braving death at the head of two +thousand men who are under my command. It has this year cost me forty +daracs of gold to lie on the earth thirty nights successively in a red +dress, and at last to receive two wounds with an arrow, of which I still +feel the smart. If I ruin myself to serve the emperor of Persia, whom I +never saw, the satrap of the law may well pay something for enjoying the +pleasure of giving audience to pleaders."</p> + +<p>Babouc was filled with indignation, and could not help condemning a +country, where the highest posts in the army and the law were exposed +for sale. He at once concluded that the inhabitants must be entirely +ignorant of the art of war, and the laws of equity; and that, though +Ithuriel should not destroy them, they must soon be ruined by their +detestable administration.</p> + +<p>He was still further confirmed in his bad opinion by the arrival of a +fat man, who, after saluting all the company with great familiarity, +went up to the young officer and said:</p> + +<p>"I can only lend thee fifty thousand darics of gold; for indeed the +taxes of the empire have this year brought me in but three hundred +thousand."</p> + +<p>Babouc inquired into the character of this man who complained of having +gained so little, and was informed that in Persepolis there were forty +plebian kings who held the empire of Persia by lease, and paid a small +tribute to the monarch.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>After dinner he went into one of the most superb temples in the city, +and seated himself amidst a crowd of men and women, who had come thither +to pass away the time. A magi appeared in a machine elevated above the +heads of the people, and talked a long time of vice and virtue. He +divided into several parts what needed no division at all: he proved +methodically what was sufficiently clear, and he taught what everybody +knew. He threw himself into a passion with great composure, and went +away perspiring and out of breath. The assembly then awoke and imagined +they had been present at a very instructive discourse. Babouc said:</p> + +<p>"This man had done his best to tire two or three hundred of his +fellow-citizens; but his intention was good, and there is nothing in +this that should occasion the destruction of Persepolis."</p> + +<p>Upon leaving the assembly he was conducted to a public entertainment, +which was exhibited every day in the year. It was in a kind of great +hall, at the end of which appeared a palace. The most beautiful women of +Persepolis and the most considerable satraps were ranged in order, and +formed so fine a spectacle that Babouc at first believed that this was +all the entertainment. Two or three persons, who seemed to be kings and +queens, soon appeared in the vestibule of their palace. Their language +was very different from that of the people; it was measured, harmonious, +and sublime. Nobody slept. The audience kept a profound silence which +was only interrupted by expressions of sensibility and admiration. The +duty of kings, the love of virtue, and the dangers arising from +unbridled passions, were all described by such lively and affecting +strokes, that Babouc shed tears. He doubted not but that these heroes +and heroines, these kings and queens whom he had just heard, were the +preachers of the empire; he even purposed to engage Ithuriel to come and +hear them, being content that such a spectacle would forever reconcile +him to the city.</p> + +<p>As soon as the entertainment was finished, he resolved to visit the +principal queen, who had recommended such pure and noble morals in the +palace. He desired to be introduced to her majesty, and was led up a +narrow staircase to an ill-furnished apartment in the second story, +where he found a woman in a mean dress, who said to him with a noble and +pathetic air:</p> + +<p>"This employment does not afford me a sufficient maintenance. I want +money, and without money there is no comfort."</p> + +<p>Babouc gave her an hundred darics of gold, saying:</p> + +<p>"Had there been no other evil in the city but this, Ithuriel would have +been to blame for being so much offended."</p> + +<p>From thence he went to spend the evening at the house of a tradesman +who dealt in magnificent trifles. He was conducted thither by a man of +sense, with whom he had contracted an acquaintance. He bought whatever +pleased his fancy; and the toy man with great politeness sold him +everything for more than it was worth. On his return home his friends +showed him how much he had been cheated. Babouc set down the name of the +tradesman in his pocket-book, in order to point him out to Ithuriel as +an object of peculiar vengeance on the day when the city should be +punished. As he was writing, he heard somebody knock at the door: this +was the toy man himself, who came to restore him his purse, which he had +left by mistake on the counter.</p> + +<p>"How canst thou," cried Babouc, "be so generous and faithful, when thou +hast had the assurance to sell me these trifles for four times their +value?"</p> + +<p>"There is not a tradesman," replied the merchant, "of ever so little +note in the city, that would not have returned thee thy purse; but +whoever said that I sold thee these trifles for four times their value +is greatly mistaken: I sold them for ten times their value; and this is +so true, that wert thou to sell them again in a month hence, thou +wouldst not get even this tenth part. But nothing is more just. It is +the variable fancies of men that set a value on these baubles; it is +this fancy that maintains an hundred workmen whom I employ; it is this +that gives me a fine house and a handsome chariot and horses; it is +this, in fine, that excites industry, encourages taste, promotes +circulation, and produces abundance.</p> + +<p>"I sell the same trifles to the neighboring nation at a much higher rate +than I have sold them to thee, and by these means I am useful to the +empire."</p> + +<p>Babouc, after having reflected a moment, erased the tradesman's name +from his tablets.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Babouc, not knowing as yet what to think of Persepolis, resolved to +visit the magi and the men of letters; for, as the one studied wisdom +and the other religion, he hoped that they in conjunction would obtain +mercy for the rest of the people. Accordingly, he went next morning into +a college of magi. The archimandrite confessed to him, that he had an +hundred thousand crowns a year for having taken the vow of poverty, and +that he enjoyed a very extensive empire in virtue of his vow of +humility; after which he left him with an inferior brother, who did him +the honors of the place.</p> + +<p>While the brother was showing him the magnificence of this house of +penitence, a report was spread abroad that Babouc was come to reform all +these houses. He immediately received petitions from each of them, the +substance of which was, "Preserve us and destroy all the rest." On +hearing their apologies, all these societies were absolutely necessary: +on hearing their mutual accusations, they all deserved to be abolished. +He was surprised to find that all the members of these societies were so +extremely desirous of edifying the world, that they wished to have it +entirely under their dominion.</p> + +<p>Soon after a little man appeared, who was a demi-magi, and who said to +him:</p> + +<p>"I plainly see that the work is going to be accomplished: for Zerdust is +returned to earth; and the little girls prophecy, pinching and whipping +themselves. We therefore implore thy protection against the great lama."</p> + +<p>"What!" said Babouc, "against the royal pontiff, who resides at Tibet?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, against him, himself."</p> + +<p>"What! you are then making war upon him, and raising armies!"</p> + +<p>"No, but he says that man is a free agent, and we deny it. We have +written several pamphlets against him, which he never read. Hardly has +he heard our name mentioned. He has only condemned us in the same manner +as a man orders the trees in his garden to be cleared from +caterpillars."</p> + +<p>Babouc was incensed at the folly of these men who made profession of +wisdom; and at the intrigues of those who had renounced the world; and +at the ambition, pride and avarice of such as taught humility and a +disinterested spirit: from all which he concluded that Ithuriel had good +reason to destroy the whole race.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>On his return home, he sent for some new books to alleviate his grief, +and in order to exhilarate his spirits, invited some men of letters to +dine with him; when, like wasps attracted by a pot of honey, there came +twice as many as he desired. These parasites were equally eager to eat +and to speak; they praised two sorts of persons, the dead and +themselves; but none of their contemporaries, except the master of the +house. If any of them happened to drop a smart and witty expression, the +rest cast down their eyes and bit their lips out of mere vexation that +it had not been said by themselves. They had less dissimulation than the +magi, because they had not such grand objects of ambition. Each of them +behaved at once with all the meanness of a valet and all the dignity of +a great man. They said to each other's face the most insulting things, +which they took for strokes of wit. They had some knowledge of the +design of Babouc's commission; one of them entreated him in a low voice +to extirpate an author who had not praised him sufficiently about five +years before; another requested the ruin of a citizen who had never +laughed at his comedies; and the third demanded the destruction of the +academy because he had not been able to get admitted into it. The repast +being ended, each of them departed by himself; for in the whole crowd +there were not two men that could endure the company or conversation of +each other, except at the houses of the rich, who invited them to their +tables. Babouc thought that it would be no great loss to the public if +all these vermin were destroyed in the general catastrophe.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Having now got rid of these men of letters, he began to read some new +books, where he discovered the true spirit by which his guests had been +actuated. He observed with particular indignation those slanderous +gazettes, those archives of bad taste, dictated by envy, baseness, and +hunger; those ungenerous satires, where the vulture is treated with +lenity, and the dove torn in pieces; and those dry and insipid romances, +filled with characters of women to whom the author was an utter +stranger.</p> + +<p>All these detestable writings he committed to the flames, and went to +pass the evening in walking. In this excursion he was introduced to an +old man possessed of great learning, who had not come to increase the +number of his parasites. This man of letters always fled from crowds; +he understood human nature, availed himself of his knowledge, and +imparted it to others with great discretion. Babouc told him how much he +was grieved at what he had seen and read.</p> + +<p>"Thou hast read very despicable performances," said the man of letters; +"but in all times, in all countries, and in all kinds of literature, the +bad swarm and the good are rare. Thou hast received into thy house the +very dregs of pedantry. In all professions, those who are least worthy +of appearing are always sure to present themselves with the greatest +impudence. The truly wise live among themselves in retirement and +tranquillity; and we have still some men and some books worthy of thy +attention."</p> + +<p>While he was thus speaking, they were joined by another man of letters; +and the conversation became so entertaining and instructive, so elevated +above vulgar prejudices, and so conformable to virtue, that Babouc +acknowledged he had never heard the like.</p> + +<p>"These are men," said he to himself, "whom the angel Ithuriel will not +presume to touch, or he must be a merciless being indeed."</p> + +<p>Though reconciled to men of letters, he was still enraged against the +rest of the nation.</p> + +<p>"Thou art a stranger," said the judicious person who was talking to him; +"abuses present themselves to thy eyes in crowds, while the good, which +lies concealed, and which is even sometimes the result of these very +abuses, escapes thy observation."</p> + +<p>He then learned that among men of letters there were some who were free +from envy; and that even among the magi themselves there were some men +of virtue. In fine, he concluded that these great bodies, which by their +mutual shocks seemed to threaten their common ruin, were at bottom very +salutary institutions; that each society of magi was a check upon its +rivals; and that though these rivals might differ in some speculative +points, they all taught the same morals, instructed the people, and +lived in subjection to the laws; not unlike to those preceptors who +watch over the heir of a family while the master of the house watches +over them. He conversed with several of these magi, and found them +possessed of exalted souls. He likewise learned that even among the +fools who pretended to make war on the great lama there had been some +men of distinguished merit; and from all these particulars he +conjectured that it might be with the manners of Persepolis as it was +with the buildings; some of which moved his pity, while others filled +him with admiration.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>He said to the man of letters:</p> + +<p>"I plainly see that these magi, whom I at first imagined to be so +dangerous, are in reality extremely useful; especially when a wise +government hinders them from rendering themselves too necessary; but +thou wilt at least acknowledge that your young magistrates, who purchase +the office of a judge as soon as they can mount a horse, must display in +their tribunals the most ridiculous impertinence and the most iniquitous +perverseness. It would doubtless be better to give these places +gratuitously to those old civilians who have spent their lives in the +study of the law."</p> + +<p>The man of letters replied:</p> + +<p>"Thou hast seen our army before thy arrival at Persepolis; thou knowest +that our young officers fight with great bravery, though they buy their +posts; perhaps thou wilt find that our young magistrates do not give +wrong decisions, though they purchase the right of dispensing justice."</p> + +<p>He led him next day to the grand tribunal, where an affair of great +importance was to be decided. The cause was known to all the world. All +the old advocates that spoke on the subject were wavering and unsettled +in their opinions. They quoted an hundred laws, none of which were +applicable to the question. They considered the matter in a hundred +different lights, but never in its true point of view. The judges were +more quick in their decisions than the advocates in raising doubts. They +were unanimous in their sentiments. They decided justly, because they +followed the light of reason. The others reasoned falsely because they +only consulted their books.</p> + +<p>Babouc concluded that the best things frequently arose from abuses. He +saw the same day that the riches of the receivers of the public revenue, +at which he had been so much offended, were capable of producing an +excellent effect; for the emperor having occasion for money, he found in +an hour by their means what he could not have procured in six months by +the ordinary methods. He saw that those great clouds, swelled with the +dews of the earth, restored in plentiful showers what they had thence +derived. Besides, the children of these new gentlemen, who were +frequently better educated than those of the most ancient families, were +sometimes more useful members of society; for he whose father hath been +a good accountant may easily become a good judge, a brave warrior, and +an able statesman.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Babouc was insensibly brought to excuse the avarice of the farmer of the +revenues, who in reality was not more avaricious than other men, and +besides was extremely necessary. He overlooked the folly of those who +ruined themselves in order to obtain a post in the law or army; a folly +that produces great magistrates and heroes. He forgave the envy of men +of letters, among whom there were some that enlightened the world; and +he was reconciled to the ambitious and intriguing magi, who were +possessed of more great virtues than little vices. But he had still many +causes of complaint. The gallantries of the ladies especially, and the +fatal effects which these must necessarily produce, filled him with fear +and terror.</p> + +<p>As he was desirous of prying into the characters of men of every +condition, he went to wait on a minister of state; but trembled all the +way, lest some wife should be assassinated by her husband in his +presence. Having arrived at the statesman's, he was obliged to remain +two hours in the anti-chamber before his name was sent in, and two hours +more after that was done. In this interval, he resolved to recommend to +the angel Ithuriel both the minister and his insolent porters. The +anti-chamber was filled with ladies of every rank, magi of all colors, +judges, merchants, officers, and pedants, and all of them complained of +the minister. The miser and the usurer said:</p> + +<p>"Doubtless this man plunders the provinces."</p> + +<p>The capricious reproached him with fickleness; the voluptuary said:</p> + +<p>"He thinks of nothing but his pleasure."</p> + +<p>The factious hoped to see him soon ruined by a cabal; and the women +flattered themselves that they should soon have a younger minister.</p> + +<p>Babouc heard their conversation, and could not help saying:</p> + +<p>"This is surely a happy man; he hath all his enemies in his +anti-chamber; he crushes with his power those that envy his grandeur; he +beholds those who detest him groveling at his feet."</p> + +<p>At length he was admitted into the presence-chamber, where he saw a +little old man bending under the weight of years and business, but still +lively and full of spirits.</p> + +<p>The minister was pleased with Babouc, and to Babouc he appeared a man of +great merit. The conversation became interesting. The minister confessed +that he was very unhappy; that he passed for rich, while in reality he +was poor; that he was believed to be all-powerful, and yet was +constantly contradicted; that he had obliged none but a parcel of +ungrateful wretches; and that, in the course of forty years labor, he +had hardly enjoyed a moment's rest. Babouc was moved with his +misfortunes; and thought that if this man had been guilty of some +faults, and Ithuriel had a mind to banish him, he ought not to cut him +off, but to leave him in possession of his place.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>While Babouc was talking to the minister, the beautiful lady with whom +he had dined entered hastily, her eyes and countenance showing all the +symptoms of grief and indignation. She burst into reproaches against the +statesman; she shed tears; she complained bitterly that her husband had +been refused a place to which his birth allowed him to aspire, and which +he had fully merited by his wounds and his service. She expressed +herself with such force; she uttered her complaints with such a graceful +air; she overthrew objections with so much address, and enforced her +arguments with so much eloquence, that she did not leave the chamber +till she had made her husband's fortune.</p> + +<p>Babouc gave her his hand, and said: "Is it possible, madam, that thou +canst take so much pains to serve a man whom thou dost not love, and +from whom thou hast everything to fear?"</p> + +<p>"A man whom I do not love!" cried she "know, sir, that my husband is the +best friend I have in the world; and there is nothing I would not +sacrifice for him, except my own inclinations."</p> + +<p>The lady conducted Babouc to her own house. The husband, who had at last +arrived overwhelmed with grief, received his wife with transports of joy +and gratitude. He embraced by turns his wife, the little magi, and +Babouc. Wit, harmony, cheerfulness, and all the graces, embellished the +repast.</p> + +<p>Babouc, though a Scythian, and sent by a geni, found, that should he +continue much longer in Persepolis, he would forget even the angel +Ithuriel. He began to grow fond of a city, the inhabitants of which were +polite, affable, and beneficent, though fickle, slanderous, and vain. He +was much afraid that Persepolis would be condemned. He was even afraid +to give in his account.</p> + +<p>This, however, he did in the following manner. He caused a little +statue, composed of different metals, of earth, and stones, the most +precious and the most vile, to be cast by one of the best founders in +the city, and carried it to Ithuriel.</p> + +<p>"Wilt thou break," said he, "this pretty statue, because it is not +wholly composed of gold and diamonds?"</p> + +<p>Ithuriel immediately understood his meaning, and resolved to think no +more of punishing Persepolis, but to leave "The world as it goes."</p> + +<p>"For," said he, "if all is not well, all is passable."</p> + +<p>Thus Persepolis was suffered to remain; nor did Babouc complain like +Jonas, who, [according to the scriptures,] was highly incensed at the +preservation of Nineveh.<br /><br /></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 155px;"> +<img src="images/img_062_scales.jpg" width="155" alt="The Scales of Justice" title="" /> +</div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_34" id="Footnote_1_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_34"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> When Babouc visited the college of the magi, "the +archimandrite [the chief of the monks] confessed to him, that he had an +hundred thousand crowns a year for having taken the vow of poverty, and +that he enjoyed a very extensive empire in virtue of his vow of +humility." (See page 365.)—E.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_BLACK_AND_THE_WHITE" id="THE_BLACK_AND_THE_WHITE"></a>THE BLACK AND THE WHITE.</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 516px;"> +<a name="Procession_of_Souls_to_Judgment" id="Procession_of_Souls_to_Judgment"></a> +<img src="images/img_063_procession.jpg" width="516" alt="Procession of Souls to Judgment." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Procession of Souls to Judgment with Good and Evil +Genii. From Frieze in the Grotto del Cardinale.</span> +</div> + + +<p>The adventure of the youthful Rustan is generally known throughout the +whole province of Candahar. He was the only son of a Mirza of that +country. The title of Mirza there is much the same as that of Marquis +among us, or that of Baron among the Germans. The mirza, his father, had +a handsome fortune. Young Rustan was to be married to a mirzasse, or +young lady of his own rank. The two families earnestly desired their +union. Rustan was to become the comfort of his parents, to make his wife +happy, and to live blest in her possession.</p> + +<p>But he had unfortunately seen the princess of Cachemire at the fair of +Kaboul, which is the most considerable fair in the world, and much more +frequented than those of Bassora and Astracan. The occasion that brought +the old prince of Cachemire to the fair with his daughter was as +follows:</p> + +<p>He had lost the two most precious curiosities of his treasury; one of +them was a diamond as thick as a man's thumb, upon which the figure of +his daughter was engraved by an art which was then possessed by the +Indians, and has since been lost; the other was a javelin, which went of +itself wherever its owner thought proper to send it. This is nothing +very extraordinary among us, but it was thought so at Cachemire.</p> + +<p>A fakir belonging to his highness stole these two curiosities; he +carried them to the princess:</p> + +<p>"Keep these two curiosities with the utmost care; your destiny depends +upon them;" said he, and then departed.</p> + +<p>The Duke of Cachemire, in despair, resolved to visit the fair of Kaboul, +in order to see whether there might not, among the merchants who go +thither from all quarters of the world, be some one possessed of his +diamond and his weapon. The princess carried his diamond well fastened +to her girdle; but the javelin, which she could not so easily hide, she +had carefully locked up at Cachemire, in a large chest.</p> + +<p>Rustan and she saw each other at Kaboul. They loved one another with all +the sincerity of persons of their age, and all the tenderness of +affection natural to those of their country. The princess gave Rustan +her diamond as a pledge of her love, and he promised at his departure to +go incognito to Cachemire, in order to pay her a visit.</p> + +<p>The young mirza had two favorites, who served him as secretaries, +grooms, stewards, and valets de chambre. The name of one was Topaz; he +was handsome, well-shaped, fair as a Circassian beauty, as mild and +ready to serve as an Armenian, and as wise as a Gueber. The name of the +other was Ebene; he was a very beautiful negro, more active and +industrious than Topaz, and one that thought nothing difficult. The +young mirza communicated his intention of traveling to these. Topaz +endeavored to dissuade him from it, with the circumspect zeal of a +servant who was unwilling to offend him. He represented to him the great +danger to which he exposed himself. He asked him how he could leave two +families in despair? how he could pierce the hearts of his parents? He +shook the resolution of Rustan; but Ebene confirmed it anew, and +obviated all his objections.</p> + +<p>The young man was not furnished with money to defray the charge of so +long a voyage. The prudent Topaz would not have lent him any; Ebene +supplied him. He with great address stole his master's diamond, made a +false one exactly like it which he put in its place, and pledged the +true one to an Armenian for several thousand rupees.</p> + +<p>As soon as the marquis possessed these rupees, all things were in +readiness for his departure. An elephant was loaded with his baggage. +His attendants mounted on horseback.</p> + +<p>Topaz said to his master: "I have taken the liberty to expostulate with +you upon your enterprise, but after expostulating it is my duty to obey. +I am devoted to you, I love you, I will follow you to the extremity of +the earth; but let us by the way consult the oracle that is but two +parasongs distant from here."</p> + +<p>Rustan consented. The answer returned by the oracle, was:</p> + +<p>"If you go to the east you will be at the west."</p> + +<p>Rustan could not guess the meaning of this answer. Topaz maintained that +it boded no good. Ebene, always complaisant to his master, persuaded him +that it was highly favorable.</p> + +<p>There was another oracle at Kaboul; they went to it. The oracle of +Kaboul made answer in these words:</p> + +<p>"If you possess, you will cease to possess; if you are conqueror, you +will not conquer, if you are Rustan, you will cease to be so."</p> + +<p>This oracle seemed still more unintelligible than the former.</p> + +<p>"Take care of yourself," said Topaz.</p> + +<p>"Fear nothing," said Ebene; and this minister, as may well be imagined, +was always thought in the right by his master, whose passions and hopes +he encouraged. Having left Kaboul, they passed through a vast forest. +They seated themselves upon the grass in order to take a repast, and +left their horses grazing. The attendants were preparing to unload the +elephant which carried the dinner, the table, cloth, plates, &c., when, +all on a sudden, Topaz and Ebene were perceived by the little caravan to +be missing. They were called, the forest resounded with the names of +Topaz and Ebene; the lackeys seek them on every side, and fill the +forest with their cries; they return without having seen anything, and +without having received any answer.</p> + +<p>"We have," said they to Rustan, "found nothing but a vulture that fought +with an eagle, and stripped it of all its feathers."</p> + +<p>The mention of this combat excited the curiosity of Rustan; he went on +foot to the place; he perceived neither vulture nor eagle; but he saw +his elephant, which was still loaded with baggage, attacked by a huge +rhinoceros: one struck with its horn, the other with its proboscis. The +rhinoceros desisted upon seeing Rustan; his elephant was brought back, +but his horses were not to be found.</p> + +<p>"Strange things happen in forests to travelers," cried Rustan.</p> + +<p>The servants were in great consternation, and the master in despair from +having at once lost his horse, his dear negro, and the wise Topaz, for +whom he still entertained a friendship, though always differing from him +in opinion.</p> + +<p>The hope of being soon at the feet of the beautiful princess still +consoled the mirza, who, journeying on, now met with a huge streaked +ass, which a vigorous two-handed country clown beat with an oaken +cudgel. The asses of this sort are extremely beautiful, very scarce, and +beyond comparison swift in running. The ass resented the repeated blows +of the clown by kicks which might have rooted up an oak. The young +mirza, as was reasonable, took upon him the defence of the ass, which +was a charming creature, the clown betook himself to flight, crying to +the ass, "You shall pay for this."</p> + +<p>The ass thanked her deliverer in her own language, and approaching him, +permitted his caresses and caressed him in her turn. After dinner, +Rustan mounted her, and took the road to Cachemire with his servants, +who followed him, some on foot and some upon the elephant. Scarce had he +mounted his ass, when that animal turned toward Kaboul, instead of +proceeding to Cachemire. It was to no purpose for her master to turn the +bridle, to kick, to press the sides of the beast with his knees, to +spur, to slacken the bridle, to pull toward him, to whip both on the +right and the left. The obstinate animal persisted in running toward +Kaboul.</p> + +<p>Rustan in despair fretted and raved, when he met with a dealer in +camels, who said to him:</p> + +<p>"Master, you have there a very malicious beast, that carries you where +you do not choose to go. If you will give it to me, I will give you the +choice of four of my camels."</p> + +<p>Rustan thanked providence for having thrown so good a bargain in the +way.</p> + +<p>"Topaz was very much in the wrong," said he, "to tell me that my journey +would prove unprosperous."</p> + +<p>He mounts the handsome camel, the others follow; he rejoins his caravan +and fancies himself on the road to happiness.</p> + +<p>Scarce had he journeyed four parasongs, when he was stopped by a deep, +broad, and impetuous torrent, which rolled over huge rocks white with +foam. The two banks were frightful precipices which dazzled the sight +and made the blood run cold. To pass was impracticable; to go to the +right or to the left was impossible.</p> + +<p>"I am beginning to be afraid," said Rustan, "that Topaz was in the right +in blaming my journey, and that I was in the wrong in undertaking it. If +he were still here he might give me good advice. If I had Ebene with me, +he would comfort me and find expedients; but everything fails me."</p> + +<p>This perplexity was increased by the consternation of his attendants. +The night was dark, and they passed it in lamentations. At last fatigue +and dejection made the amorous traveler fall asleep. He awoke at +day-break, and saw, spanning the torrent, a beautiful marble bridge +which reached from shore to shore.</p> + +<p>Nothing was heard but exclamations, cries of astonishment and joy. Is it +possible? Is this a dream? What a prodigy is this! What an enchantment! +Shall we venture to pass? The whole company kneeled, rose up, went to +the bridge, kissed the ground, looked up to heaven, stretched out their +hands, set their feet on it with trembling, went to and fro, fell into +ecstasies; and Rustan said:</p> + +<p>"At last heaven favors me. Topaz did not know what he was saying. The +oracles were favorable to me. Ebene was in the right, but why is he not +here?"</p> + +<p>Scarce had the company got beyond the torrent, when the bridge sunk into +the water with a prodigious noise.</p> + +<p>"So much the better, so much the better," cried Rustan. "Praised be God, +blessed be heaven; it would not have me return to my country, where I +should be nothing more than a gentleman. The intention of heaven is, +that I should wed her I love. I shall become prince of Cachemire; thus +in possessing my mistress I shall cease to possess my little marquisate +at Candahar. 'I shall be Rustan, and I shall not be Rustan,' because I +shall have become a great prince: thus is a great part of the oracle +clearly explained in my favor. The rest will be explained in the same +manner. I am very happy. But why is not Ebene with me? I regret him a +thousand times more than Topaz."</p> + +<p>He proceeded a few parasongs farther with the greatest alacrity +imaginable; but, at the close of day, a chain of mountains more rugged +than a counterscarp, and higher than the tower of Babel would have been +had it been finished, stopped the passage of the caravan, which was +again seized with dread.</p> + +<p>All the company cried out: "It is the will of God that we perish here! +he broke the bridge merely to take from us all hopes of returning; he +raised the mountain for no other reason than to deprive us of all means +of advancing. Oh, Rustan! oh, unhappy marquis! we shall never see +Cachemire; we shall never return to the land of Candahar."</p> + +<p>The most poignant anguish, the most insupportable dejection, succeeded +in the soul of Rustan, to the immoderate joy which he had felt, to the +hopes with which he had intoxicated himself. He was no longer disposed +to interpret the prophecies in his favor.</p> + +<p>"Oh, heavens! oh, God of my fathers!" said he, "must I then lose my +friend Topaz!"</p> + +<p>As he pronounced these words, fetching deep sighs and shedding tears in +the midst of his disconsolate followers, the base of the mountain +opened, a long gallery appeared to the dazzled eyes in a vault lighted +with a hundred thousand torches. Rustan immediately begins to exult, and +his people to throw themselves upon their knees and to fall upon their +backs in astonishment, and cry out, "A miracle! a miracle! Rustan is the +favorite of Witsnow, the well-beloved of Brahma. He will become the +master of mankind."</p> + +<p>Rustan believed it; he was quite beside himself; he was raised above +himself.</p> + +<p>"Alas, Ebene," said he, "my dear Ebene, where are you? Why are you not +witness of all these wonders? How did I lose you? Beauteous princess of +Cachemire, when shall I again behold your charms!"</p> + +<p>He advances with his attendants, his elephants, and his camels, under +the hollow of the mountain; at the end of which he enters into a meadow +enameled with flowers and encompassed with rivulets. At the extremity of +the meadows are walks of trees to the end of which the eye cannot reach, +and at the end of these alleys is a river, on the sides of which are a +thousand pleasure houses with delicious gardens. He everywhere hears +concerts of vocal and instrumental music; he sees dances; he makes haste +to go upon one of the bridges of the river; he asks the first man he +meets what fine country that is?</p> + +<p>He whom he addressed himself to answered:</p> + +<p>"You are in the province of Cachemire; you see the inhabitants immersed +in joy and pleasure. We celebrate the marriage of our beauteous +princess, who is going to be married to the lord Barbabou, to whom her +father promised her. May God perpetuate their felicity!"</p> + +<p>At these words Rustan fainted away, and the Cachemirian lord thought he +was troubled with the falling sickness. He caused him to be carried to +his house, where he remained a long time insensible. He sent in search +of the two most able physicians in that part of the country. They felt +the patient's pulse, who having somewhat recovered his spirits, sobbed, +rolled his eyes, and cried from time to time, "Topaz, Topaz, you were +entirely in the right!"</p> + +<p>One of the two physicians said to the Cachemirian lord:</p> + +<p>"I perceive, by this young man's accent, that he is from Candahar, and +that the air of this country is hurtful to him. He must be sent home. I +perceive by his eyes that he has lost his senses. Entrust me with him, I +will carry him back to his own country, and cure him."</p> + +<p>The other physician maintained that grief was his only disorder; and +that it was proper to carry him to the wedding of the princess, and make +him dance. Whilst they were in consultation, the patient recovered his +health. The two physicians were dismissed, and Rustan remained along +with his host.</p> + +<p>"My lord," said he, "I ask your pardon for having been so free as to +faint in your presence. I know it to be a breach of politeness. I +entreat you to accept of my elephant, as an acknowledgment of the +kindness you have shown me."</p> + +<p>He then related to him all his adventure, taking particular care to +conceal from him the occasion of his journey.</p> + +<p>"But, in the name of Witsnow and Brahma," said he to him, "tell me who +is this happy Barbabou, who is to marry the princess of Cachemire? Why +has her father chosen him for his son-in-law, and why has the princess +accepted of him for an husband?"</p> + +<p>"Sir," answered the Cachemirian, "the princess has by no means accepted +of Barbabou. She is, on the contrary, in tears, whilst the whole +province joyfully celebrates her marriage. She has shut herself up in a +tower of her palace. She does not choose to see any of the rejoicings +made upon the occasion."</p> + +<p>Rustan, at hearing this, perceived himself revived. The bloom of his +complexion, which grief had caused to fade, appeared again upon his +countenance.</p> + +<p>"Tell me, I entreat you," continued he, "why the prince of Cachemire is +obstinately bent upon giving his daughter to lord Barbabou whom she does +not love?"</p> + +<p>"This is the fact," answered the Cachemirian. "Do you know that our +august prince lost a large diamond and a javelin which he considered as +of great value?"</p> + +<p>"Ah! I very well know that," said Rustan.</p> + +<p>"Know then," said his host, "that our prince, being in despair at not +having heard of his two precious curiosities, after having caused them +to be sought for all over the world, promised his daughter to whoever +should bring him either the one or the other. A lord Barbabou came who +had the diamond, and he is to marry the princess to-morrow."</p> + +<p>Rustan turned pale, stammered out a compliment, took leave of his host, +and galloped upon his dromedary to the capital city, where the ceremony +was to be performed. He arrives at the palace of the prince, he tells +him he has something of importance to communicate to him, he demands an +audience. He is told that the prince is taken up with the preparations +for the wedding.</p> + +<p>"It is for that very reason," said he, "that I am desirous of speaking +to him." Such is his importunity, that he is at last admitted.</p> + +<p>"Prince," said he, "may God crown all your days with glory and +magnificence! Your son-in-law is a knave."</p> + +<p>"What! a knave! how dare you speak in such terms? Is that a proper way +of speaking to a duke of Cachemire of a son-in-law of whom he has made +choice?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, he is a knave," continued Rustan; "and to prove it to your +highness, I have brought you back your diamond."</p> + +<p>The duke, surprised at what he heard, compared the two diamonds; and as +he was no judge of precious stones, he could not determine which was the +true one.</p> + +<p>"Here are two diamonds," said he, "and I have but one daughter, I am in +a strange perplexity."</p> + +<p>He sent for Harbabou, and asked him if he had not imposed upon him, +Harbabou swore he had bought his diamond from an Armenian; the other did +not tell him who he had his from; but he proposed an expedient, which +was that he should engage his rival in single combat.</p> + +<p>"It is not enough for your son-in-law to give a diamond," said he, "he +should also give proofs of valor. Do not you think it just that he who +kills his rival should marry the princess?"</p> + +<p>"Undoubtedly," answered the prince. "It will be a fine sight for the +court. Fight directly. The conqueror shall take the arms of the +conquered according to the customs of Cachemire, and he shall marry my +daughter."</p> + +<p>The two pretenders to the hand of the princess go down into the court. +Upon the stairs there was a jay and a raven. The raven cried, "Fight, +fight." The jay cried, "Don't fight."</p> + +<p>This made the prince laugh; the two rivals scarce took any notice of it. +They begin the combat. All the courtiers made a circle round them. The +princess, who kept herself constantly shut up in her tower, did not +choose to behold this sight. She never dreampt that her lover was at +Cachemire, and she hated Barbabou to such a degree, that she could not +bear the sight of him. The combat had the happiest result imaginable. +Barbabou was killed outright; and this greatly rejoiced the people, +because he was ugly and Rustan was very handsome. The favor of the +public is almost always determined by this circumstance.</p> + +<p>The conqueror put on the coat of mail, scarf, and the casque of the +conquered, and came, followed by the whole court, to present himself +under the windows of his mistress. The multitude cried aloud: "Beautiful +princess, come and see your handsome lover, who has killed his ugly +rival." These words were re-echoed by her women. The princess unluckily +looked out of the window, and seeing the armor of a man she hated, she +ran like one frantic to her strong box and took out the fatal javelin, +which flew to pierce Rustan, notwithstanding his cuirass. He cried out +loudly, and at this cry the princess thought she again knew the voice of +her unhappy lover.</p> + +<p>She ran down stairs, with her hair disheveled, and death in her eyes as +well as her heart. Rustan had already fallen, all bloody, into the arms +of his attendants. She sees him. Oh, moment! oh, sight! oh, discovery of +inexpressible grief, tenderness and horror! She throws herself upon him, +and embraces him.</p> + +<p>"You receive," said she, "the first and last kisses of your mistress and +your murderer."</p> + +<p>She pulls the dart from the wound, plunges it in her heart, and dies +upon the body of the lover whom she adores. The father, terrified, in +despair, and ready to die like his daughter, tries in vain to bring her +to life. She was no more. He curses the fatal dart, breaks it to pieces, +throws away the two fatal diamonds; and whilst he prepared the funeral +of his daughter instead of her marriage, he caused Rustan, who weltered +in his blood and had still some remains of life, to be carried to his +palace.</p> + +<p>He was put into bed. The first objects he saw on each side of his +deathbed were Topaz and Ebene. This surprise made him in some degree +recover his strength.</p> + +<p>"Cruel men," said he, "why did you abandon me? Perhaps the princess +would still be alive if you had been with the unhappy Rustan."</p> + +<p>"I have not forsaken you a moment," said Topaz.</p> + +<p>"I have always been with you," said Ebene.</p> + +<p>"Ah! what do you say? why do you insult me in my last moments?" answered +Rustan, with a languishing voice.</p> + +<p>"You may believe me," said Topaz. "You know I never approved of this +fatal journey, the dreadful consequences of which I foresaw. I was the +eagle that fought with the vulture and stripped it of its feathers; I +was the elephant that carried away the baggage, in order to force you to +return to your own country; I was the streaked ass that carried you, +whether you would or no, to your father; it was I that made your horses +go astray; it was I that caused the torrent that prevented your passage; +it was I that raised the mountain which stopped up a road so fatal to +you; I was the physician that advised you to return to your own country; +I was the jay that cried to you not to fight."</p> + +<p>"And I," said Ebene, "was the vulture that he stripped of his feathers, +the rhinoceros who gave him a hundred strokes with the horn, the clown +that beat the streaked ass, the merchant who made you a present of +camels to hasten you to your destruction; I dug the cavern that you +crossed, I am the physician that encouraged you to walk, the raven that +cried out to you to combat."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said Topaz, "remember the oracles: 'If you go to the east you +will be at the west.'"</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Ebene, "here the dead are buried with their faces turned to +the west. The oracle was plain enough, though you did not understand it. +You possessed, and you did not possess; for though you had the diamond, +it was a false one, and you did not know it. You are conqueror, and you +die; you are Rustan, and you cease to be so: all has been accomplished."</p> + +<p>Whilst he spoke thus, four white wings covered the body of Topaz, and +four black ones that of Ebene.</p> + +<p>"What do I see?" cried Rustan.</p> + +<p>Topaz and Ebene answered together: "You see your two geniuses."</p> + +<p>"Good gentlemen," cried the unhappy Rustan, "how came you to meddle; and +what occasion had a poor man for two geniuses?"</p> + +<p>"It is a law," answered Topaz; "every man has too geniuses. Plato was +the first man who said so, and others have repeated it after him. You +see that nothing can be more true. I who now speak to you, am your good +genius. I was charged to watch over you to the last moment of your life. +Of this task I have faithfully acquitted myself."</p> + +<p>"But," said the dying man, "if your business was to serve me, I am of a +nature much superior to yours. And then how can you have the assurance +to say you are my good genius, since you have suffered me to be deceived +in everything I have undertaken, and since you suffer both my mistress +and me to die miserably?"</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said Topaz, "it was your destiny."</p> + +<p>"If destiny does all," answered the dying man, "what is a genius good +for? And you, Ebene, with your four black wings, you are, doubtless, my +evil genius."</p> + +<p>"You have hit it," answered Ebene.</p> + +<p>"Then I suppose you were the evil genius of my princess likewise," said +Rustan.</p> + +<p>"No," replied Ebene, "she had an evil genius of her own, and I seconded +him perfectly."</p> + +<p>"Ah! cursed Ebene," said Rustan, "if you are so malicious, you don't +belong to the same master with Topaz: you have been formed by two +different principles, one of which is by nature good, the other evil."</p> + +<p>"That does not follow," said Ebene, "this is a very knotty point."</p> + +<p>"It is not possible," answered the dying man, "that a benevolent being +could create so destructive a genius."</p> + +<p>"Possible or not possible," replied the genius, "the thing is just as I +say."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said Topaz, "my poor unfortunate friend, don't you see that that +rogue is so malicious as to encourage you to dispute, in order to +inflame your blood and hasten your death?"</p> + +<p>"Get you gone," said the melancholy Rustan, "I am not much better +satisfied with you than with him. He at least acknowledges that it was +his intention to hurt me; and you, who pretended to defend me, have done +me no service at all."</p> + +<p>"I am very sorry for it," said the good genius.</p> + +<p>"And I too," said the dying man; "there is something at the bottom of +all this which I cannot comprehend."</p> + +<p>"Nor I neither," said the good genius.</p> + +<p>"I shall know the truth of the matter in a moment," said Rustan. "We +shall see that," said Topaz.</p> + +<p>The whole scene then vanished. Rustan again found himself in the house +of his father, which he had not quitted, and in his bed, where he had +slept an hour.</p> + +<p>He awakes in astonishment, perspiring all over, and quite wild. He rubs +himself, he calls, he rings the bell. His valet de chambre, Topaz, runs +in, in his nightcap, and yawning.</p> + +<p>"Am I dead or alive?" cried out Rustan, "shall the beauteous princess of +Cachemire escape?</p> + +<p>"Does your lordship rave?" answered Topaz, coldly.</p> + +<p>"Ah!" cried Rustan, "what then is become of this barbarous Ebene, with +his four black wings! It is he that makes me die by so cruel a death."</p> + +<p>"My lord," answered Topaz, "I left him snoring up stairs. Would you have +me bid him come down?"</p> + +<p>"The villain," said Rustan, "has persecuted me for six months together. +It was he who carried me to the fatal fair of Kaboul; it is he that +cheated me of the diamond which the princess presented me; he is the +sole cause of my journey, of the death of my princess, and of the wound +with a javelin, of which I die in the flower of my age."</p> + +<p>"Take heart," said Topaz, "you were never at Kaboul; there is no +princess of Cachemire; her father never had any children but two boys, +who are now at college; you never had a diamond; the princess cannot be +dead, because she never was born; and you are in perfect health."</p> + +<p>"What! is it not then true that you attended me whilst dying, and in the +bed of the prince of Cachemire? Did you not acknowledge to me, that, in +order to preserve me from so many dangers, you were an eagle, an +elephant, a streaked ass, a physician, and a jay?"</p> + +<p>"My lord, you have dreampt all this," answered Topaz; "our ideas are no +more of our own creating whilst we are asleep than whilst we are awake. +God has thought proper that this train of ideas should pass in your +head, most probably to convey some instruction to you, of which you may +make a good use."</p> + +<p>"You make a jest of me," replied Rustan, "how long have I slept?"</p> + +<p>"My lord," said Topaz, "you have not yet slept an hour."</p> + +<p>"Cursed reasoner," returned Rustan, "how is it possible that I could be +in the space of an hour at the fair of Kaboul six months ago; that I +could have returned from thence, have traveled to Cachemire, and that +Barbabou, the princess, and I, should have died?"</p> + +<p>"My lord," said Topaz, "nothing can be more easy and more common; and +you might have traveled around the world, and have met with a great many +more adventures in much less time. Is it not true that you can, in an +hour's time, read the abridgment of the Persian history, written by +Zoroaster? yet this abridgment contains eight hundred thousand years. +All these events pass before your eyes one after another, in an hour's +time. Now you must acknowledge, that it is as easy to Brahma to confine +them to the space of an hour, as to extend them to the space of eight +hundred thousand years. It is exactly the same thing. Imagine to +yourself that time turns upon a wheel whose diameter is infinite. Under +this vast wheel is a numerous multitude of wheels one within another. +That in the centre is imperceptible, and goes round an infinite number +of times, whilst the great wheel performs but one revolution. It is +evident that all the events which have happened from the beginning of +the world, to its end, might have happened in much less time than the +hundred thousandth part of a second; and one may even go so far as to +assert that the thing is so."</p> + +<p>"I cannot comprehend all this," said Rustan.</p> + +<p>"If you want information," said Topaz, "I have a parrot that will easily +explain it to you. He was born some time before the deluge; he has been +in the ark; he has seen a great deal; yet he is but a year and a half +old. He will relate to you his history, which is extremely interesting."</p> + +<p>"Go fetch your parrot," said Rustan, "it will amuse me till I again find +myself disposed to sleep."</p> + +<p>"It is with my sister, the nun," said Topaz: "I will go and fetch it. It +will please you; its memory is faithful, it relates in a simple manner, +without endeavoring to show wit at every turn."</p> + +<p>"So much the better," said Rustan, "I like that manner of telling +stories."</p> + +<p>The parrot being brought to him, spoke in this manner:</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>N.B. Mademoiselle Catherine Vade could never find the history of the +parrot in the commonplace-book of her late cousin Anthony Vade, author +of that tale. This is a great misfortune, considering what age that +parrot lived in.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 107px;"> +<img src="images/img_064_parrot.jpg" width="107" alt="The parrot." title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 180px;"> +<a name="Young_Memnon" id="Young_Memnon"></a> +<img src="images/img_065_memnon.jpg" width="180" alt="Young Memnon." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Young Memnon. +<a name="FNanchor_1_35" id="FNanchor_1_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_35" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></span> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> +<h2><a name="MEMNON_THE_PHILOSOPHER" id="MEMNON_THE_PHILOSOPHER"></a>MEMNON THE PHILOSOPHER.</h2> + + +<p>Memnon one day took it into his head to become a great philosopher. "To +be perfectly happy," said he to himself, "I have nothing to do but to +divest myself entirely of passions; and nothing is more easy, as +everybody knows. In the first place, I will never be in love; for, when +I see a beautiful woman, I will say to myself, these cheeks will one day +grow sallow and wrinkled, these eyes be encircled with vermilion, that +bosom become lean and emaciated, that head bald and palsied. Now I have +only to consider her at present in imagination as she will afterwards +appear in reality, and certainly a fair face will never turn my head.</p> + +<p>"In the second place, I shall always be temperate. It will be in vain to +tempt me with good cheer, with delicious wines, or the charms of +society, I will have only to figure to myself the consequences of +excess—an aching head, a loathing stomach, the loss of reason, of +health, and of time: I will then only eat to supply the waste of nature; +my health will be always equal, my ideas pure and luminous. All this is +so easy that there is no merit in accomplishing it."</p> + +<p>"But," says Memnon, "I must think a little of how I am to regulate my +fortune: why, my desires are moderate, my wealth is securely placed with +the Receiver General of the finances of Nineveh. I have wherewithal to +live independent; and that is the greatest of blessings. I shall never +be under the cruel necessity of dancing attendance at court. I will +never envy any one, and nobody will envy me. Still all this is easy. I +have friends, and I will preserve them, for we shall never have any +difference. I will never take amiss anything they may say or do; and +they will behave in the same way to me. There is no difficulty in all +this."</p> + +<p>Having thus laid this little plan of philosophy in his closet, Memnon +put his head out of the window. He saw two women walking under the +plane-trees near his house. The one was old, and appeared quite at her +ease. The other was young, handsome, and seemingly much agitated. She +sighed, she wept, and seemed on that account still more beautiful. Our +philosopher was touched, not, to be sure, with the lady, (he was too +much determined not to feel any uneasiness of that kind) but with the +distress which he saw her in. He came down stairs, and accosted the +young Ninevite, designing to console her with philosophy. That lovely +person related to him, with an air of the greatest simplicity, and in +the most affecting manner, the injuries she sustained from an imaginary +uncle—with what art he had deprived her of some imaginary property, and +of the violence which she pretended to dread from him.</p> + +<p>"You appear to me," said she, "a man of such wisdom, that if you will +come to my house and examine into my affairs, I am persuaded you will be +able to relieve me from the cruel embarrassment I am at present involved +in."</p> + +<p>Memnon did not hesitate to follow her, to examine her affairs +philosophically, and to give her sound counsel.</p> + +<p>The afflicted lady led him into a perfumed chamber, and politely made +him sit down with her on a large sofa, where they both placed themselves +opposite to each other, in the attitude of conversation; the one eager +in telling her story, the other listening with devout attention. The +lady spoke with downcast eyes, whence there sometimes fell a tear, and +which, as she now and then ventured to raise them, always met those of +the sage Memnon. Their discourse was full of tenderness, which redoubled +as often as their eyes met. Memnon took her affairs exceedingly to +heart, and felt himself every instant more and more inclined to oblige a +person so virtuous and so unhappy. By degrees, in the warmth of +conversation they drew nearer. Memnon counseled her with great wisdom, +and gave her most tender advice.</p> + +<p>At this interesting moment, as may easily be imagined, who should come +in but the uncle. He was armed from head to foot, and the first thing he +said was, that he would immediately sacrifice, as was just, both Memnon +and his niece. The latter, who made her escape, knew that he was +disposed to pardon, provided a good round sum were offered to him. +Memnon was obliged to purchase his safety with all he had about him. In +those days people were happy in getting so easily quit. America was not +then discovered, and distressed ladies were not then so dangerous as +they are now.</p> + +<p>Memnon, covered with shame and confusion, got home to his own house. He +there found a card inviting him to dinner with some of his intimate +friends.</p> + +<p>"If I remain at home alone," said he, "I shall have my mind so occupied +with this vexatious adventure, that I shall not be able to eat a bit, +and I shall bring upon myself some disease. It will therefore be prudent +in me to go to my intimate friends and partake with them of a frugal +repast. I shall forget, in the sweets of their society, the folly I have +this morning been guilty of."</p> + +<p>Accordingly he attends the meeting; he is discovered to be uneasy at +something, and he is urged to drink and banish care.</p> + +<p>"A little wine, drank in moderation, comforts the heart of God and man:" +so reasoned Memnon the philosopher, and he became intoxicated. After the +repast, play is proposed.</p> + +<p>"A little play, with one's intimate friends, is a harmless pastime." He +plays and loses all in his purse, and four times as much on his word. A +dispute arises on some circumstance in the game, and the disputants grow +warm. One of his intimate friends throws a dice-box at his head, and +strikes out one of his eyes. The philosopher Memnon is carried home +drunk and penniless, with the loss of an eye.</p> + +<p>He sleeps out his debauch, and, when his head becomes clear, he sends +his servant to the Receiver General of the finances of Nineveh, to draw +a little money to pay his debt of honor to his intimate friends. The +servant returns and informs him, that the Receiver General had that +morning been declared a fraudulent bankrupt, and that by this means an +hundred families are reduced to poverty and despair. Memnon, almost +beside himself, puts a plaster on his eye and a petition in his pocket, +and goes to court to solicit justice from the king against the bankrupt. +In the saloon he meets a number of ladies, all in the highest spirits, +and sailing along with hoops four-and-twenty feet in circumference. One +of them, slightly acquainted with him, eyed him askance, and cried +aloud: "Ah! what a horrid monster!"</p> + +<p>Another, who was better acquainted with him, thus accosts him: +"Good-morrow, Mr. Memnon, I hope you are well, Mr. Memnon. La! Mr. +Memnon, how did you lose your eye?" and turning upon her heel, she +tripped unconcernedly away.</p> + +<p>Memnon hid himself in a corner, and waited for the moment when he could +throw himself at the feet of the monarch. That moment at last arrived. +Three times he kissed the earth, and presented his petition. His +gracious majesty received him very favorably, and referred the paper to +one of his satraps. The satrap takes Memnon aside, and says to him with +a haughty air and satirical grin:</p> + +<p>"Hark ye, you fellow with the one eye, you must be a comical dog indeed, +to address yourself to the king rather than to me: and still more so, to +dare to demand justice against an honest bankrupt, whom I honor with my +protection, and who is also a nephew to the waiting-maid of my mistress. +Proceed no further in this business, my good friend, if you wish to +preserve the eye you have left."</p> + +<p>Memnon having thus, in his closet, resolved to renounce women, the +excess of the table, play, and quarreling, but especially having +determined never to go to court, had been in the short space of +four-and-twenty hours duped and robbed by a gentle dame, had got drunk, +had gamed, had been engaged in a quarrel, had got his eye knocked out, +and had been at court, where he was sneered at and insulted.</p> + +<p>Petrified with astonishment, and his heart broken with grief, Memnon +returns homeward in despair. As he was about to enter his house, he is +repulsed by a number of officers who are carrying off his furniture for +the benefit of his creditors. He falls down almost lifeless under a +plane-tree. There he finds the fair dame of the morning, who was walking +with her dear uncle; and both set up a loud laugh on seeing Memnon with +his plaster. The night approached, and Memnon made his bed on some straw +near the walls of his house. Here the ague seized him, and he fell +asleep in one of the fits, when a celestial spirit appeared to him in a +dream.</p> + +<p>It was all resplendent with light: it had six beautiful wings, but +neither feet, nor head, and could be likened to nothing.</p> + +<p>"What art thou?" said Memnon.</p> + +<p>"Thy good genius," replied the spirit.</p> + +<p>"Restore me then my eye, my health, my fortune, my reason," said Memnon; +and he related how he had lost them all in one day. "These are +adventures which never happen to us in the world we inhabit," said the +spirit.</p> + +<p>"And what world do you inhabit?" said the man of affliction.</p> + +<p>"My native country," replied the other, "is five hundred millions of +leagues distant from the sun, in a little star near Sirius, which you +see from hence."</p> + +<p>"Charming country!" said Memnon. "And are there indeed with you no jades +to dupe a poor devil, no intimate friends that win his money and knock +out an eye for him, no fraudulent bankrupts, no satraps, that make a +jest of you while they refuse you justice?"</p> + +<p>"No," said the inhabitant of the star, "we have nothing of the kind. We +are never duped by women, because we have none among us; we never commit +excesses at table, because we neither eat nor drink; we have no +bankrupts, because with us there is neither silver nor gold; our eyes +cannot be knocked out, because we have not bodies in the form of yours; +and satraps never do us injustice, because in our world we are all +equal."</p> + +<p>"Pray my lord," said Memnen, "without women and without eating how do +you spend your time?"</p> + +<p>"In watching, over the other worlds that are entrusted to us; and I am +now come to give you consolation."</p> + +<p>"Alas!" replied Memnon, "why did you not come yesterday to hinder me +from committing so many indiscretions?"</p> + +<p>"I was with your elder brother Hassan," said the celestial being. "He is +still more to be pitied than you are. His most gracious majesty, the +sultan of the Indies, in whose court he has the honor to serve, has +caused both his eyes to be put out for some small indiscretion; and he +is now in a dungeon, his hands and feet loaded with chains."</p> + +<p>"'Tis a happy thing, truly," said Memnon, "to have a good genius in +one's family, when out of two brothers, one is blind of an eye, the +other blind of both; one stretched upon straw, the other in a dungeon."</p> + +<p>"Your fate will soon change," said the spirit of the star. "It is true +you will never recover your eye; but, except that, you may be +sufficiently happy if you never again take it into your head to be a +perfect philosopher."</p> + +<p>"Is it then impossible?" said Memnon.</p> + +<p>"As impossible as to be perfectly wise, perfectly strong, perfectly +powerful, perfectly happy. We ourselves are very far from it. There is a +world indeed where all this takes place; but, in the hundred thousand +millions of worlds dispersed over the regions of space, everything goes +on by degrees. There is less philosophy and less enjoyment in the second +than in the first, less in the third than in the second, and so forth +till the last in the scale, where all are completely fools."</p> + +<p>"I am afraid," said Memnon, "that our little terraqueous globe here is +the madhouse of those hundred thousand millions of worlds, of which your +lordship does me the honor to speak."</p> + +<p>"Not quite," said the spirit, "but very nearly; everything must be in +its proper place."</p> + +<p>"But are those poets and philosophers wrong, then, who tell us that +everything is for the best?"</p> + +<p>"No, they are right, when we consider things in relation to the +gradation of the whole universe."</p> + +<p>"Oh! I shall never believe it till I recover my eye again," said the +unfortunate Memnon.</p> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 363px;"> +<a name="Memnon_and_the_distressed_Ninevite" id="Memnon_and_the_distressed_Ninevite"></a> +<img src="images/img_066_ninevite.jpg" width="363" alt="Memnon and the distressed Ninevite." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Memnon and the distressed Ninevite.—"The afflicted lady +led him into a perfumed chamber, where they both placed themselves +opposite to each other, in the attitude of conversation; the one eager +in telling her story, the other listening with devout attention."</span> +</div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_35" id="Footnote_1_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_35"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The above engraving from Chamber's Guide to the British +Museum, represents a head and bust of Memnon, "formed of a single block +of fine syene granite, one piece of which is red, while the rest is blue +or grayish. The sculptor, with admirable taste, used the red part for +the head, and the darker part for the breast. Although the statue has +all the characteristics of Egyptian sculpture—the projecting eyes, +thick lips, high ears, and small chin—yet such is the beauty of the +execution, so much sweetness and mildness is there in the expression of +the countenance, that the effect is, on the whole, extremely pleasing. +Here, in short, we have the masterpiece of some Egyptian sculptor of +superior genius, whose name has perished. Here also, if we are to accept +the statue as a genuine likeness, we behold the features of the great +Egyptian Pharaoh, at whose name, some fourteen centuries before Christ, +the Mediterranean nations trembled. Doubtless on such a subject the +sculptor would do his best; striving, while transmitting the features of +the hero to posterity, to produce also a countenance that would be the +ideal of Egyptian beauty."—E.</p></div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 455px;"> +<a name="Des_Touches_and_Croutef" id="Des_Touches_and_Croutef"></a> +<img src="images/img_067_des_touches.jpg" width="455" alt="Des Touches and Croutef." title="" /> +</div> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="ANDRE_DES_TOUCHES_AT_SIAM" id="ANDRE_DES_TOUCHES_AT_SIAM"></a>ANDRÉ DES TOUCHES AT SIAM.</h2> + + +<p>André Des Touches was a very agreeable musician in the brilliant reign +of Louis XIV. before the science of music was perfected by Rameau; and +before it was corrupted by those who prefer the art of surmounting +difficulties to nature and the real graces of composition.</p> + +<p>Before he had recourse to these talents he had been a musketeer, and +before that, in 1688, he went into Siam with the Jesuit Tachard, who +gave him many marks of his affection, for the amusement he afforded on +board the ship; and Des Touches spoke with admiration of father Tachard +for the rest of his life.</p> + +<p>At Siam he became acquainted with the first commissary of Barcalon, +whose name was Croutef; and he committed to writing most of those +questions which he asked of Croutef, and the answers of that Siamese. +They are as follows:</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—How many soldiers have you?</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—Fourscore thousand, very indifferently paid.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—And how many Talapolins?</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—A hundred and twenty thousand, very idle and very rich. It is +true that in the last war we were beaten, but our Talapolins have lived +sumptuously, and built fine houses.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—Nothing could have discovered more judgment. And your +finances, in what state are they?</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—In a very bad state. We have, however, about ninety thousand +men employed to render them prosperous, and if they have not succeeded, +it has not been their fault; for there is not one of them who does not +honorably seize all that he can get possession of, and strip and plunder +those who cultivate the ground for the good of the state.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—Bravo! And is not your jurisprudence as perfect as the +rest of your administration?</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—It is much superior. We have no laws, but we have five or six +thousand volumes on the laws. We are governed in general by customs; for +it is known that a custom, having been established by chance, is the +wisest principle that can be imagined. Besides, all customs being +necessarily different in different provinces, the judges may choose at +their pleasure a custom which prevailed four hundred years ago, or one +which prevailed last year. It occasions a variety in our legislation, +which our neighbors are forever admiring. This yields a certain fortune +to practitioners. It is a resource for all pleaders who are destitute of +honor, and a pastime of infinite amusement for the judges, who can with +safe consciences decide causes without understanding them.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—But in criminal cases—you have laws which may be depended +upon.</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—God forbid! We can condemn men to exile, to the galleys, to be +hanged; or we can discharge them, according to our own fancy. We +sometimes complain of the arbitrary power of the Barcalon; but we choose +that all our decisions should be arbitrary.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—That is very just. And the torture—do you put people to +the torture?</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—It is our greatest pleasure. We have found it an infallible +secret to save a guilty person, who has vigorous muscles, strong and +supple hamstrings, nervous arms, and firm loins; and we gaily break on +the wheel all those innocent persons to whom nature has given feeble +organs. It is thus we conduct ourselves with wonderful wisdom and +prudence. As there are half proofs, I mean half truths, it is certain +there are persons who are half innocent and half guilty. We commence, +therefore, by rendering them half dead; we then go to breakfast; +afterwards ensues entire death, which gives us great consideration in +the world, which is one of the most valuable advantages of our offices.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—It must be allowed that nothing can be more prudent and +humane. Pray tell me what becomes of the property of the condemned?</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—The children are deprived of it. For you know that nothing can +be more equitable than to punish the single fault of a parent on all his +descendants.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—Yes. It is a great while since I have heard of this +jurisprudence.</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—The people of Laos, our neighbors, admit neither the torture, +nor arbitrary punishments, nor the different customs, nor the horrible +deaths which are in use among us; but we regard them as barbarians who +have no idea of good government. All Asia is agreed that we dance the +best of all its inhabitants, and that, consequently, it is impossible +they should come near us in jurisprudence, in commerce, in finance, and, +above all, in the military art.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—Tell me, I beseech you, by what steps men arrive at the +magistracy in Siam.</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—By ready money. You perceive that it may be impossible to be a +good judge, if a man has not by him thirty or forty thousand pieces of +silver. It is in vain a man may be perfectly acquainted with all our +customs; it is to no purpose that he has pleaded five hundred causes +with success—that he has a mind which is the seat of judgment, and a +heart replete with justice; no man can become a magistrate without +money. This, I say, is the circumstance which distinguishes us from all +Asia, and particularly from the barbarous inhabitants of Laos, who have +the madness to recompense all kinds of talents, and not to sell any +employment.</p> + +<p>André des Touches, who was a little off his guard, said to the Siamese, +that most of the airs which he had just sung sounded discordant to him; +and wished to receive information concerning real Siamese music. But +Croutef, full of his subject, and enthusiastic for his country, +continued in these words:</p> + +<p>"What does it signify that our neighbors, who live beyond our mountains, +have better music than we have, or better pictures; provided we have +always wise and humane laws? It is in that circumstance we excel. For +example:</p> + +<p>"If a man has adroitly stolen three or four hundred thousand pieces of +gold, we respect him, and we go and dine with him. But if a poor servant +gets awkwardly into his possession three or four pieces of copper out of +his mistress's box, we never fail of putting that servant to a public +death; first, lest he should not correct himself; secondly, that he may +not have it in his power to produce a great number of children for the +state, one or two of whom might possibly steal a few little pieces of +copper, or become great men; thirdly, because it is just to proportion +the punishment to the crime, and that it would be ridiculous to give any +useful employment in a prison to a person guilty of so enormous a crime.</p> + +<p>"But we are still more just, more merciful, more reasonable in the +chastisements which we inflict on those who have the audacity to make +use of their legs to go wherever they choose. We treat those warriors so +well who sell us their lives, we give them so prodigious a salary, they +have so considerable a part in our conquests, that they must be the most +criminal of all men to wish to return to their parents on the recovery +of their reason, because they had been enlisted in a state of +intoxication. To oblige them to remain in one place, we lodge about a +dozen leaden balls in their heads; after which they become infinitely +useful to their country.</p> + +<p>"I will not speak of a great number of excellent institutions, which do +not go so far as to shed the blood of men, but which render life so +pleasant and agreeable that it is impossible the guilty should avoid +becoming virtuous. If a farmer has not been able to pay promptly a tax +which exceeds his ability, we sell the pot in which he dresses his food; +we sell his bed, in order that, being relieved of all his superfluities, +he may be in a better condition to cultivate the earth."</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—That is extremely harmonious!</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—To comprehend our profound wisdom, you must know that our +fundamental principle is to acknowledge in many places as our sovereign, +a shaven-headed foreigner who lives at the distance of nine hundred +miles from us. When we assign some of our best territories to any of our +Talapolins, which it is very prudent in us to do, that Siamese Talapolin +must pay the revenue of his first year to that shaven-headed Tartar, +without which it is clear our lands would be unfruitful.</p> + +<p>But the time, the happy time, is no more, when that tonsured priest +induced one half of the nation to cut the throats of the other half, in +order to decide whether Sammonocodom had played at leap-frog or at some +other game; whether he had been disguised in an elephant or in a cow; if +he had slept three hundred and ninety days on the right side, or on the +left. Those grand questions, which so essentially affect morality, +agitated all minds; they shook the world; blood flowed plentifully for +it; women were massacred on the bodies of their husbands; they dashed +out the brains of their little infants on the stones, with a devotion, +with a grace, with a contrition truly angelic. Woe to us! degenerate +offspring of pious ancestors, who never offer such holy sacrifices! But, +heaven be praised, there are yet among us at least a few good souls, who +would imitate them if they were permitted.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—Tell me, I beseech you, sir, if at Siam you divide the +tone major into two commas, or into two semi-commas; and if the progress +of the fundamental sounds are made by one, three, and nine?</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>. By Sammonocodom, you are laughing at me. You observe no bounds. +You have interrogated me on the form of our government, and you speak to +me of music!</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—-Music is everything. It was at the foundation of all the +politics of the Greeks. But I beg your pardon; you have not a good ear; +and we will return to our subject. You said, that in order to produce a +perfect harmony—</p> + +<p><span class="small">CROUTEF</span>.—I was telling you, that formerly the tonsured Tartar pretended +to dispose of all the kingdoms of Asia; which occasioned something very +different from perfect harmony. But a very considerable benefit resulted +from it; for people were then more devout toward Sammonocodom and his +elephant than they are now; for, at the present time, all the world +pretends to common sense, with an indiscretion truly pitiable. However, +all things go on; people divert themselves, they dance, they play, they +dine, they sup, they make love; this makes every man shudder who +entertains good intentions.</p> + +<p><span class="small">DES TOUCHES</span>.—And what would you have more? You only want good music. If +you had good music, you might call your nation the happiest in the +world.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h4><a name="THE_BLIND_PENSIONERS_AT_QUINZE_VINGT" id="THE_BLIND_PENSIONERS_AT_QUINZE_VINGT"></a>THE BLIND PENSIONERS AT QUINZE VINGT.</h4> + +<p><span class="small">A SHORT DIGRESSION</span>.—When the hospital of the Quinze Vingt was first +founded, the pensioners were all equal, and their little affairs were +concluded upon by a majority of votes. They distinguished perfectly by +the touch between copper and silver coin; they never mistook the wine of +Brie for that of Burgundy. Their sense of smelling was finer than that +of their neighbors who had the use of two eyes. They reasoned very well +on the four senses; that is, they knew everything they were permitted to +know, and they lived as peaceably and as happily as blind people could +be supposed to do. But unfortunately one of their professors pretended +to have clear ideas in respect to the sense of seeing, he drew +attention; he intrigued; he formed enthusiasts; and at last he was +acknowledged chief of the community. He pretended to be a judge of +colors, and everything was lost.</p> + +<p>This dictator of the Quinze Vingt chose at first a little council, by +the assistance of which he got possession of all the alms. On this +account, no person had the resolution to oppose him. He decreed, that +all the inhabitants of the Quinze Vingt were clothed in white. The blind +pensioners believed him; and nothing was to be heard but their talk of +white garments, though, in fact, they possessed not one of that color. +All their acquaintance laughed at them. They made their complaints to +the dictator, who received them very ill; he rebuked them as innovators, +freethinkers, rebels, who had suffered themselves to be seduced by the +errors of those who had eyes, and who presumed to doubt that their chief +was infallible. This contention gave rise to two parties.</p> + +<p>To appease the tumult, the dictator issued a decree, importing that all +their vestments were red. There was not one vestment of that color in +the Quinze Vingt. The poor men were laughed at more than ever. +Complaints were again made by the community. The dictator rushed +furiously in; and the other blind men were as much enraged. They fought +a long time; and peace was not restored until the members of the Quinze +Vingt were permitted to suspend their judgments in regard to the color +of their dress.</p> + +<p>A deaf man, reading this little history, allowed that these people, +being blind, were to blame in pretending to judge of colors; but he +remained steady to his own opinion, that those persons who were deaf +were the only proper judges of music.</p> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 340px;"> +<a name="Boodh_resting" id="Boodh_resting"></a> +<img src="images/img_068_boodh.jpg" width="340" alt="Boodh resting "upon the face of the waters," supported by +serpents." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Boodh resting "upon the face of the waters," supported by +serpents.<a name="FNanchor_1_36" id="FNanchor_1_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_36" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2><a name="BABABEC" id="BABABEC"></a>BABABEC.</h2> + + +<p>When I was in the city of Benarez, on the borders of the Ganges, the +country of the ancient Brahmins, I endeavored to instruct myself in +their religion and manners. I understood the Indian language tolerably +well. I heard a great deal, and remarked everything. I lodged at the +house of my correspondent Omri, who was the most worthy man I ever knew. +He was of the religion of the Brahmins: I have the honor to be a +Mussulman. We never exchanged one word higher than another about Mahomet +or Brahma. We performed our ablutions each on his own side; we drank of +the same sherbet, and we ate of the same rice, as if we had been two +brothers.</p> + +<p>One day we went together to the pagoda of Gavani. There we saw several +bands of Fakirs. Some of whom were Janguis, that is to say, +contemplative Fakirs; and others were disciples of the ancient +Gymnosophists, who led an active life. They all have a learned language +peculiar to themselves; it is that of the most ancient Brahmins; and +they have a book written in this language, which they call the <i>Shasta</i>. +It is, beyond all contradiction, the most ancient book in all Asia, not +excepting the <i>Zend</i>.</p> + +<p>I happened by chance to cross in front of a Fakir, who was reading in +this book.</p> + +<p>"Ah! wretched infidel!" cried he, "thou hast made me lose a number of +vowels that I was counting, which will cause my soul to pass into the +body of a hare instead of that of a parrot, with which I had before the +greatest reason to flatter myself."</p> + +<p>I gave him a rupee to comfort him for the accident. In going a few paces +farther, I had the misfortune to sneeze. The noise I made roused a +Fakir, who was in a trance.</p> + +<p>"Heavens!" cried he, "what a dreadful noise. Where am I? I can no longer +see the tip of my nose,—the heavenly light has disappeared."</p> + +<p>"If I am the cause," said I, "of your not seeing farther than the length +of your nose, here is a rupee to repair the great injury I have done +you. Squint again, my friend, and resume the heavenly light."</p> + +<p>Having thus brought myself off discreetly enough, I passed over to the +side of the Gymnosophists, several of whom brought me a parcel of mighty +pretty nails to drive into my arms and thighs, in honor of Brahma. I +bought their nails, and made use of them to fasten down my boxes. Others +were dancing upon their hands, others cut capers on the slack rope, and +others went always upon one foot. There were some who dragged a heavy +chain about with them, and others carried a packsaddle; some had their +heads always in a bushel—the best people in the world to live with. My +friend Omri took me to the cell of one of the most famous of these. His +name was Bababec: he was as naked as he was born, and had a great chain +about his neck, that weighed upwards of sixty pounds. He sat on a wooden +chair, very neatly decorated with little points of nails that penetrated +into his flesh; and you would have thought he had been sitting on a +velvet cushion. Numbers of women flocked to him to consult him. He was +the oracle of all the families in the neighborhood; and was, truly +speaking, in great reputation. I was witness to a long conversation that +Omri had with him.</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_36" id="Footnote_1_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_36"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Boodhism, is described in <i>Webster's Dictionary</i> as "a +system of religion in Eastern Asia, embraced by more than one third of +the human race. It teaches that, at distant intervals, a Boodh, or +deity, appears, to restore the world from a state of ignorance and +decay, and then sinks into a state of entire non-existence, or rather, +perhaps, of bare existence without attributes, action, or consciousness. +This state, called <i>Nirvana</i>, or <i>Nicban</i>, is regarded as the ultimate +supreme good, and the highest reward of virtue among men. Four Boodhs +have thus appeared in the world, and passed into <i>Nirvana</i>, the last of +whom, Gaudama, became incarnate about 500 years before Christ, from his +death, in 543 B.C., many thousand years will elapse before the +appearance of another; so that the system, in the mean time, is +practically one of pure atheism." +</p><p> +The serpent has ever been a significant emblem in religion and +mythology. Being "the most subtle beast of the field," it was naturally +accepted as the emblem of wisdom. With its tail in its mouth it formed a +circle, which was regarded by the ancients as the emblem of eternity. +Moses set up a brazen serpent on a cross in the wilderness as an emblem +of healing. Æsculapius, the god of medicine, is seen on ancient statues +with a serpent twining around a staff by his side, symbolizing health, +prudence and foresight. Hygiea, the goddess of health, is represented in +works of art as a virgin dressed in a long robe and feeding a serpent +from a cup. Mercury is always shown holding in his right hand a wand +with two twined serpents. The nine coiled serpents in the above +engraving, correspond with the nine muses in the Grecian mythology. The +cobra, whose poison is death, is an emblem of the destroying power, and +destruction, or rather change, symbolizes new formation, renovation or +creation. Thus eternal formation, proceeds from eternal destruction. The +serpent also figures in a beautiful allegory concerning the introduction +of knowledge among mankind, <i>i.e.</i>, "the knowledge of good and +evil."—E.</p></div> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 335px;"> +<a name="The_Fakir" id="The_Fakir"></a> +<img src="images/img_069_fakir.jpg" width="335" alt="THE FAKIR." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The Fakir.</span> +</div> + +<h5>RELIGIOUS ZEAL.</h5> +<blockquote><p class="block">The most earnest and zealous advocates of modern Christianity are, +undoubtedly, to be found in the ranks of that grotesque +organization known as the "Salvation Army"; but the wildest efforts +of these misguided propagandists fall far short of the intense +religious fervor displayed by the zealous followers of Brahma.</p> + +<p class="block">A contributor to Cassell's <i>Illustrated Travels</i> describes a +religious festival which he witnessed a few years ago at Hurdwar on +the Ganges, while on an elephant shooting expedition in the Dehra +Dhoon, Northern India, which vividly illustrates the folly and +fanaticism of these degraded religious devotees, and which is only +second in repulsiveness to the horrible ceremonies of Juggernaut.</p> + +<p class="block">"There is," says this writer, "a religious festival every year at +Hurdwar, but every sixth year the ceremonies are more holy and the +crowd of pilgrims larger. The <i>Koom Mela</i>, a religious feast of +great holiness in native eyes, occurs every eleven years, and the +pilgrims on such occasions arrive from every part of India. The +crowd usually numbers over two millions. But it is when the +festivals occurring at intervals of six years and at intervals of +eleven years happen to meet in the same year that the crowd is the +largest, the importance of the fair greatest, and the concourse of +fanatic fakirs and holy Brahmins, from every hole and corner of +India, the most striking and remarkable. Merchants arrive from the +most distant countries; not from different parts of India only, but +from Persia, Thibet, China, Afghanistan, and even from Russia. It +was one of these festivals and giant fairs that we had the good +fortune to see.</p> + +<p class="block">"As the day of the great festival approaches, the fakirs—who by +the way are always stark naked, and generally as disgusting +specimens of humanity as it is possible to conceive—and the +Brahmins, excite their hearers by increasingly-fervent speeches, by +self-applied tortures, frightful contortions, and wild dances and +gestures, to which the crowd loudly responds by shouts and wild +yells. Early on the morning of the day which to their mind is more +holy than any other in their whole lifetime, the assembled people +to the number of two or even three millions, repair to the ghauts +and patiently wait for the signal, to begin their work of +regeneration and salvation. This desirable end is attained by each +and every individual who within a certain time, during the tinkling +of a well-known bell, precipitates himself into the river, washes +himself thoroughly, and repeats a short prayer. This done, the +pilgrim must leave the river again, and if he has not entered it +until the bell began to tinkle, and has succeeded in going through +his performance and left the water again before the sound of the +bell has ceased, his sins from his birth are remitted and washed +away, and his happy future after death is assured, unless he +commits some specifically named and very enormous sins. The other +pilgrims, who by reason of the great crowd cannot reach the water +in time to go through the whole performance as required by the +Brahmins, receive blessings commensurate with the length of their +stay in the water while the bell was ringing. Even the unfortunate +pilgrims who altogether fail to enter the water at the right +moment, are consoled by the partial removal of their load of +wickedness; but the blessings which accompany a full performance of +what the Brahmins require, are so superior to the favors following +an incomplete or tardy immersion, that it is not strange +extraordinary efforts are made to enter the water at the first +sound of the bells and gongs.</p> + +<p class="block">"The crowd was made up of men and women of half-a-hundred tribes of +nations, in every variety of dress and partial nakedness. Many men +wore their loincloths only; the women's hair was loose and flying +to the wind; all were newly and hideously painted; many were +intoxicated, not only with opium and spirits, but with religious +frenzy and impatient waiting. As the exciting moment approached +shouts rent the air; the priests harangued louder and louder; the +fakirs grew wilder and more incoherent; then gradually the great +noise subsided, when suddenly a single bell, immediately followed +by a hundred more, broke the silence, and with one accord, shouting +like madmen, the people rushed forward and the foremost ranks threw +themselves into the water. Then there arose a mighty shout, the +many gongs joined in, and the bells redoubled their efforts. But +the confusion, the crushing, the struggling for very life, the +surging of the mad masses at the water's edge, defy all +description.</p> + +<p class="block">"As the first rows of men and women reached the water they were +upset and overturned by the people in their rear, who passed over +them into still deeper water, and in their turn suffered the same +fate at the bands of the on-rushing crowd behind them, until deep +water was reached.... The shouts of excitement were changed to +shrieks and passionate cries for help; the men under water +struggled with those above them: weak women were carried out by the +stream or trampled on; men pulled each other down, and in their mad +fear exerted their utmost strength without object or purpose. Then +the survivors, trying to escape from the water, met the yet dry +crowd still charging down to death, and this increased the dire +confusion. It was a horrid sight, and one I was quite unprepared +for, notwithstanding all I had heard before."—E.</p></blockquote> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>"Do you think, father," said my friend, "that after having gone through +seven metempsichoses, I may at length arrive at the habitation of +Brahma?"</p> + +<p>"That is as it may happen," said the Fakir. "What sort of life do you +lead?"</p> + +<p>"I endeavor," answered Omri, "to be a good subject, a good husband, a +good father, and a good friend. I lend money without interest to the +rich who want it, and I give it to the poor: I always strive to preserve +peace among my neighbors."</p> + +<p>"But have you ever run nails into your flesh?" demanded the Brahmin.</p> + +<p>"Never, reverend father."</p> + +<p>"I am sorry for it," replied the father; "very sorry for it, indeed. It +is a thousand pities; but you will certainly not reach above the +nineteenth heaven."</p> + +<p>"No higher!" said Omri. "In truth, I am very well contented with my lot. +What is it to me whether I go into the nineteenth or the twentieth, +provided I do my duty in my pilgrimage, and am well received at the end +of my journey? Is it not as much as one can desire, to live with a fair +character in this world, and be happy with Brahma in the next? And pray +what heaven do you think of going to, good master Bababec, with your +chain?"</p> + +<p>"Into the thirty-fifth," said Bababec.</p> + +<p>"I admire your modesty," replied Omri, "to pretend to be better lodged +than me. This is surely the result of an excessive ambition. How can +you, who condemn others that covet honors in this world, arrogate such +distinguished ones to yourself in the next? What right have you to be +better treated than me? Know that I bestow more alms to the poor in ten +days, than the nails you run into your flesh cost for ten years? What is +it to Brahma that you pass the whole day stark naked with a chain about +your neck? This is doing a notable service to your country, doubtless! I +have a thousand times more esteem for the man who sows pulse or plants +trees, than for all your tribe, who look at the tips of their noses, or +carry packsaddles, to show their magnanimity."</p> + +<p>Having finished this speech, Omri softened his voice, embraced the +Brahmin, and, with an endearing sweetness, besought him to throw aside +his nails and his chain, to go home with him, and live with decency and +comfort.</p> + +<p>The Fakir was persuaded, he was washed clean, rubbed with essences and +perfumes, and clad in a decent habit; he lived a fortnight in this +manner, behaved with prudence and wisdom, and acknowledged that he was a +thousand times happier than before; but he lost his credit among the +people, the women no longer crowded to consult him; he therefore quitted +the house of the friendly Omri, and returned to his nails and his chain, +<i>to regain his reputation</i>.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 275px;"> +<a name="Sphinx" id="Sphinx"></a> +<img src="images/img_070_sphinx.jpg" width="275" alt="Sphinx." title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;"> +<a name="The_study_of_nature" id="The_study_of_nature"></a> +<img src="images/img_071_study_of_nature.jpg" width="350" alt="The study of nature." title="" /> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_STUDY_OF_NATURE_1" id="THE_STUDY_OF_NATURE_1"></a>THE STUDY OF NATURE.</h2> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="In" id="In"></a>I.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">INTRODUCTION.</span></h4> + +<p>There can be no doubt that everything in the world is governed by +fatality. My own life is a convincing proof of this doctrine. An English +lord, with whom I was a great favorite, had promised me that I should +have the first living that fell to his gift. An old incumbent of eighty +happened to die, and I immediately traveled post to London to remind the +earl of his promise. I was honored with an immediate interview, and was +received with the greatest kindness. I informed his lordship of the +death of the rector, and of the hope I cherished relative to the +disposal of the vacant living. He replied that I really looked very ill. +I answered that, thanks to God, my greatest affliction was poverty. I am +sorry for you, said his lordship, and he politely dismissed me with a +letter of introduction to a Mr. Sidrac, who dwelt in the vicinity of +Guildhall. I ran as fast as I could to this gentleman's house, not +doubting but that he would immediately install me in the wished for +living. I delivered the earl's letter, and Mr. Sidrac, who had the honor +to be my lord's surgeon, asked me to sit down, and, producing a case of +surgical instruments, began to assure me that he would perform an +operation which he trusted would very soon relieve me.</p> + +<p>You must know, that his lordship had understood that I was suffering +from some dreadful complaint, and that he generously intended to have me +cured at his own expense. The earl had the misfortune to be as deaf as a +post, a fact with which I, alas! had not been previously acquainted.</p> + +<p>During the time which I lost in defending myself against the attacks of +Mr. Sidrac, who insisted positively upon curing me, whether I would or +no, one out of the fifty candidates who were all on the lookout, came to +town, flew to my lord, begged the vacant living—and obtained it.</p> + +<p>I was deeply in love with an interesting girl, a Miss Fidler, who had +promised to marry me upon condition of my being made rector. My +fortunate rival not only got the living, but also my mistress into the +bargain!</p> + +<p>My patron, upon being told of his mistake, promised to make me ample +amends, but alas! he died two days afterwards.</p> + +<p>Mr. Sidrac demonstrated to me that, according to his organic structure, +my good patron could not have lived one hour longer. He also clearly +proved that the earl's deafness proceeded entirely from the extreme +dryness of the drums of his ears, and kindly offered, by an application +of spirits of wine, to harden both of my ears to such a degree that I +should, in one month only, become as deaf as any peer of the realm.</p> + +<p>I discovered Mr. Sidrac to be a man of profound knowledge. He inspired +me with a taste for the study of nature, and I could not but be sensible +of the valuable acquisition I had made in acquiring the friendship of a +man who was capable of relieving me, should I need his services. +Following his advice, I applied myself closely to the study of nature, +to console myself for the loss of the rectory and of my enchanting Miss +Fidler.</p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="IIn" id="IIn"></a>II.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">THE STUDY OF NATURE.</span></h4> + +<p>After making many profound observations upon nature, (having employed in +the research, my five senses, my spectacles, and a very large +telescope,) I said one day to Mr. Sidrac, unless I am much deceived, +philosophy laughs at us. I cannot discover any trace of what the world +calls nature; on the contrary, everything seems to me to be the result +of art. By art the planets are made to revolve around the sun, while the +sun revolves on its own axis. I am convinced that some genius has +arranged things in such a manner, that the square of the revolutions of +the planets is always in proportion to the cubic root from their +distance to their centre, and one had need be a magician to find out how +this is accomplished. The tides of the sea are the result of art no less +profound and no less difficult to explain.</p> + +<p>All animals, vegetables and minerals are arranged with due regard to +weight and measure, number and motion. All is performed by springs, +levers, pullies, hydraulic machines, and chemical combinations, from the +insignificant flea to the being called man, from the grass of the field +to the far spreading oak, from a grain of sand to a cloud in the +firmament of heaven. Assuredly, everything is governed by art, and the +word <i>nature</i> is but a chimera.</p> + +<p>What you say, answered Mr. Sidrac, has been said many years ago, and so +much the better, for the probability is greater that your remark is +true. I am always astonished when I reflect, that a grain of wheat cast +into the earth will produce in a short time above a handful of the same +corn. Stop, said I, foolishly, you forget that wheat must die before it +can spring up again, at least so they say at college. My friend Sidrac, +laughing heartily at this interruption, replied. That assertion went +down very well a few years ago, when it was first published by an +apostle called Paul; but in our more enlightened age, the meanest +laborer knows that the thing is altogether too ridiculous even for +argument.</p> + +<p>My dear friend, said I, excuse the absurdity of my remark, I have +hitherto been a theologian, and one cannot divest one's self in a moment +of every silly opinion.</p> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="IIIn" id="IIIn"></a>III.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">GOOD ADVICE.</span></h4> + +<p>Some time after this conversation between the disconsolate person, whom +we shall call Goodman, and the clever anatomist, Mr. Sidrac, the latter, +one fine morning, observed his friend in St. James's Park, standing in +an attitude of deep thought. What is the matter? said the surgeon. Is +there anything amiss? No, replied Goodman, but I am left without a +patron in the world since the death of my friend, who had the misfortune +to be so deaf. Now supposing there be only ten thousand clergymen in +England, and granting these ten thousand have each two patrons, the odds +against my obtaining a bishopric are twenty thousand to one; a +reflection quite sufficient to give any man the blue-devils. I remember, +it was once proposed to me, to go out as cabin-boy to the East Indies. I +was told that I should make my fortune. But as I did not think I should +make a good admiral, whenever I should arrive at the distinction, I +declined; and so, after turning my attention to every profession under +the sun, I am fixed for life as a poor clergyman, good for nothing.</p> + +<p>Then be a clergyman no longer! cried Sidrac, and turn philosopher: what +is your income? Only thirty guineas a year, replied Goodman; although at +the death of my mother, it will be increased to fifty. Well, my dear +Goodman, continued Sidrac, that sum is quite sufficient to support you +in comfort. Thirty guineas are six hundred and thirty shillings, almost +two shillings a day. With this fixed income, a man need do nothing to +increase it, but is at perfect liberty to say all he thinks of the East +India Company, the House of Commons, the king and all the royal family, +of man generally and individually, and lastly, of God and his +attributes; and the liberty we enjoy of expressing our thoughts upon +these most interesting topics, is certainly very agreeable and amusing.</p> + +<p>Come and dine at my table every day. That will save you some little +money. We will afterwards amuse ourselves with conversation, and your +thinking faculty will have the pleasure of communicating with mine by +means of speech, which is certainly a very wonderful thing, though its +advantages are not duly appreciated by the greater part of mankind.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 330px;"> +<a name="The_poor_clergyman" id="The_poor_clergyman"></a> +<img src="images/img_072_clergyman.jpg" width="330" alt="The poor clergyman." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The poor clergyman.—"<i>I remember, it was once proposed to +me, to go out as cabin-boy to the East Indies. I was told that I should +make my fortune. But as I did not think I should make a good admiral, +whenever I should arrive at the distinction, I declined; and so, after +turning my attention to every profession under the sun, I am fixed for +life as a poor clergyman, good for nothing</i>."</span> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3><a name="IVn" id="IVn"></a>IV.</h3> + +<h4><span class="maroon">DIALOGUE UPON THE SOUL AND OTHER TOPICS.</span></h4> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—But my dear Sidrac, why do you always say <i>my thinking +faculty</i> and not <i>my soul</i>? If you used the latter term I should +understand you much better.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—And for my part, I freely confess, I should not understand +myself. I <i>feel</i>, I <i>know</i>, that God has endowed me with the faculties +of thinking and speaking, but I can neither <i>feel</i> nor <i>know</i> that God +has given me a thing called a soul.</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—Truly upon reflection, I perceive that I know as little about +the matter as you do, though I own that I have, all my life, been bold +enough to believe that I knew. I have often remarked that the eastern +nations apply to the soul the same word they use to express life. After +their example, the Latins understood the word <i>anima</i> to signify the +life of the animal. The Greeks called the breath the soul. The Romans +translated the word breath by <i>spiritus</i>, and thence it is that the word +spirit or soul is found in every modern nation. As it happens that no +one has ever seen this spirit or breath, our imagination has converted +it into a being, which it is impossible to see or touch. The learned +tell us, that the soul inhabits the body without having any place in it, +that it has the power of setting our different organs in motion without +being able to reach and touch them, indeed, what has not been said upon +the subject? The great Locke knew into what a chaos these absurdities +had plunged the human understanding. In writing the only reasonable book +upon metaphysics that has yet appeared in the world, he did not compose +a single chapter on the soul; and if by chance he now and then makes use +of the word, he only introduces it to stand for intellect or mind.</p> + +<p>In fact, every human being, in spite of Bishop Berkeley, is sensible +that he has a mind, and that this mind or intellect is capable of +receiving ideas; but no one can feel that there is another being—a +soul,—within him, which gives him motion, feeling and thought. It is, +in fact, ridiculous to use words we do not understand, and to admit the +existence of beings of whom we cannot have the slightest knowledge.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—We are then agreed upon a subject which, for so many centuries, +has been a matter of dispute.</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—And I must observe that I am surprised we should have agreed +upon it so soon.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>. Oh! that is not so astonishing. We really wish to know what is +truth. If we were among the Academies, we should argue like the +characters in Rabelais. If we had lived in those ages of darkness, the +clouds of which so long enveloped Great Britain, one of us would very +likely have burned the other. We are so fortunate as to be born in an +age comparatively reasonable; we easily discover what appears to us to +be truth, and we are not afraid to proclaim it.</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—You are right, but I fear, that, after all, the truth we have +discovered is not worth much. In mathematics, indeed, we have done +wonders; from the most simple causes we have produced effects that would +have astonished Apollonius or Archimedes: but what have we proved in +metaphysics? Absolutely nothing but our own ignorance.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—And do you call that nothing? You grant the supreme Being has +given you the faculties of feeling and thinking, he has in the same +manner given your feet the faculty of walking, your hands their +wonderful dexterity, your stomach the capability of digesting food, and +your heart the power of throwing arterial blood into all parts of your +body. Everything we enjoy is derived from God, and yet we are totally +ignorant of the means by which he governs and conducts the universe. For +my own part, as Shakespeare says, I thank him for having taught me that, +of the principles of things, I know absolutely nothing. It has always +been a question, in what manner the soul acted upon the body. Before +attempting to answer this question, I must be convinced that I have a +soul. Either God has given us this wonderful spark of intellect, or he +has gifted us with some principle that answers equally well. In either +case, we are still the creatures of his divine will and goodness, and +that is all I know about the matter.</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—But if you do not know, tell me at least, what you are +inclined to think upon the subject. You have opened skulls, and +dissected the human fœtus. Have you ever, in these, dissections, +discovered any appearance of a soul?</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—Not the least, and I have not been able to understand how an +immortal and spiritual essence, could dwell for months together in a +membrane. It appears to me difficult to conceive that this pretended +soul existed before the foundation of the body; for in what could it +have been employed during the many ages previous to its mysterious union +with flesh? Again! how can we imagine a spiritual principle waiting +patiently in idleness during a whole eternity, in order to animate a +mass of matter for a space of time, which, compared with eternity, is +less than a moment?</p> + +<p>It is worse still, when I am told that God forms immortal souls out of +nothing, and then cruelly dooms them to an eternity of flames and +torments. What? burn a spirit, in which there can be nothing capable of +burning; how can he burn the sound of a voice, or the wind that blows? +though both the sound and wind were material during the short time of +their existence; but a pure spirit—a thought—a doubt—I am lost in the +labyrinth; on whichever side I turn, I find nothing but obscurity and +absurdity, impossibility and contradiction. But I am quite at ease when +I say to myself God is master of all. He who can cause each star to hold +its particular course through the broad expanse of the firmament, can +easily give to us sentiments and ideas, without the aid of this atom, +called the soul. It is certain that God has endowed all animals, in a +greater or lesser degree, with thought, memory, and judgment; he has +given them life; it is demonstrated that they have feeling, since they +possess all the organs of feeling; if then they have all this without a +soul, why is it improbable that we have none? and why do mankind flatter +themselves that they alone are gifted with a spiritual and immortal +principle?</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—Perhaps this idea arises from their inordinate vanity. I am +persuaded that if the peacock could speak, he would boast of his soul, +and would affirm that it inhabited his magnificent tail. I am very much +inclined to believe with you, that God has created us thinking +creatures, with the faculties of eating, drinking, feeling, &c., without +telling us one word about the matter. We are as ignorant as the peacock +I just mentioned, and he who said that we live and die without knowing +how, why, or wherefore, spoke nothing but the truth.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—A celebrated author, whose name I forget, calls us nothing more +than the puppets of Providence, and this seems to me to be a very good +definition. An infinity of movements are necessary to our existence, but +we did not ourselves invent and produce motion. There is a Being who +has created light, caused it to move from the sun to our eyes in about +seven minutes. It is only by means of motion that my five senses are put +in action, and it is only by means of my senses that I have ideas, hence +it follows that my ideas are derived from the great author of motion, +and when he informs me how he communicates these ideas to me, I will +most sincerely thank him.</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—And so will I. As it is I constantly thank him for having +permitted me, as Epictetus says, to contemplate for a period of some +years this beautiful and glorious world. It is true that he could have +made me happier by putting me in possession of Miss Fidler and a good +rectory; but still, such as I am, I consider myself as under a great +obligation to God's parental kindness and care.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—You say that it is in the power of God to give you a good +living, and to make you still happier than you are at present. There are +many persons who would not scruple flatly to contradict this proposition +of yours. Do you forget that you yourself sometimes complain of +fatality? A man, and particularly a priest, ought never to contradict +one day an assertion he has perhaps made the day before. All is but a +succession of links, and God is wiser than to break the eternal chain of +events, even for the sake of my dear friend Goodman.</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—I did not foresee this argument when I was speaking of +fatality; but to come at once to the point, if it be so, God is as much +a slave as myself.</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—He is the slave of his will, of his wisdom, and of the laws +which he has himself instituted; and it is impossible that he can +infringe upon any of them; because it is impossible that he can become +either weak or inconsistent.</p> + +<p><span class="small">GOODMAN</span>.—But, my friend, what you say would tend to make us +irreligious, for, if God cannot change any of the affairs of the world, +what is the use of teasing him with prayers, or of singing hymns to his +praise?</p> + +<p><span class="small">SIDRAC</span>.—Well! who bids you worship or pray to God? We praise a man +because we think him vain; we entreat of him when we think him weak and +likely to change his purpose on account of our petitions. Let us do our +duty to God, by being just and true to each other. In that consists our +real prayers, and our most heartfelt praises.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 455px;"> +<a name="Kwan-yin" id="Kwan-yin"></a> +<img src="images/img_073_kwan_yin.jpg" width="455" alt="Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy.—Burmese Buddha.—Chinese +figure in ivory." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy.—Burmese Buddha.—Chinese +figure in ivory.<a name="FNanchor_1_37" id="FNanchor_1_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_37" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></span> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<h2><a name="A_CONVERSATION_WITH_A_CHINESE" id="A_CONVERSATION_WITH_A_CHINESE"></a>A CONVERSATION WITH A CHINESE.</h2> + +<p>In the year 1723, there was a Chinese in Holland, who was both a learned +man and a merchant, two things that ought by no means to be +incompatible; but which, thanks to the profound respect that is shown to +money, and the little regard that the human species pay to merit, have +become so among us.</p> + +<p>This Chinese, who spoke a little Dutch, happened to be in a bookseller's +shop at the same time that some literati were assembled there. He asked +for a book; they offered him Bossuet's <i>Universal History</i>, badly +translated. At the title <i>Universal History</i>—</p> + +<p>"How pleased am I," cried the Oriental, "to have met with this book. I +shall now see what is said of our great empire; of a nation that has +subsisted for upwards of fifty thousand years; of that long dynasty of +emperors who have governed us for such a number of ages. I shall see +what these Europeans think of the religion of our literati, and of that +pure and simple worship we pay to the Supreme Being. What a pleasure +will it be for me to find how they speak of our arts, many of which are +of a more ancient date with us than the eras of all the kingdoms of +Europe! I fancy the author will be greatly mistaken in relation to the +war we had about twenty-two thousand five hundred and fifty-two years +ago, with the martial people of Tonquin and Japan, as well as the solemn +embassy that the powerful emperor of Mogulitian sent to request a body +of laws from us in the year of the world 500000000000079123450000."</p> + +<p>"Lord bless you," said one of the literati, "there is hardly any mention +made of that nation in this world, the only nation considered is that +marvelous people, the Jews."</p> + +<p>"The Jews!" said the Chinese, "those people then must certainly be +masters of three parts of the globe at least."</p> + +<p>"They hope to be so some day," answered the other; "but at present they +are those pedlars you see going about here with toys and nicknacks, and +who sometimes do us the honor to clip our gold and silver."</p> + +<p>"Surely you are not serious," exclaimed the Chinese. "Could those people +ever have been in possession of a vast empire?"</p> + +<p>Here I joined in the conversation, and told him that for a few years +they were in possession of a small country to themselves; but that we +were not to judge of a people from the extent of their dominions, any +more than of a man by his riches.</p> + +<p>"But does not this book take notice of some other nations?" demanded the +man of letters.</p> + +<p>"Undoubtedly," replied a learned gentleman who stood at my elbow; "it +treats largely of a small country about sixty leagues wide, called +Egypt, in which it is said that there is a lake of one hundred and fifty +leagues in circumference, made by the hands of man."</p> + +<p>"My God!" exclaimed the Chinese, "a lake of one hundred and fifty +leagues in circumference within a spot of ground only sixty leagues +wide! This is very curious!"</p> + +<p>"The inhabitants of that country," continued the doctor, "were all +sages."</p> + +<p>"What happy times were those!" cried the Chinese; "but is that all?"</p> + +<p>"No," replied the other, "there is mention made of those famous people +the Greeks."</p> + +<p>"Greeks! Greeks!" said the Asiatic, "who are those Greeks?"</p> + +<p>"Why," replied the philosopher, "they were masters of a little province, +about the two hundredth part as large as China, but whose fame spread +over the whole world."</p> + +<p>"Indeed!" said the Chinese, with an air of openness and ingenuousness; +"I declare I never heard the least mention of these people, either in +the Mogul's country, in Japan, or in Great Tartary."</p> + +<p>"Oh, the barbarian! the ignorant creature!" cried out our sage very +politely. "Why then, I suppose you know nothing of Epaminondas the +Theban, nor of the Pierian Heaven, nor the names of Achilles's two +horses, nor of Silenus's ass? You have never heard speak of Jupiter, nor +of Diogenes, nor of Lais, nor of Cybele, nor of—"</p> + +<p>"I am very much afraid," said the learned Oriental, interrupting him, +"that you know nothing of that eternally memorable adventure of the +famous Xixofon Concochigramki, nor of the masteries of the great +Fi-psi-hi-hi! But pray tell me what other unknown things does this +<i>Universal History</i> treat of?"</p> + +<p>Upon this my learned neighbor harangued for a quarter of an hour +together about the Roman republic, and when he came to Julius Cæsar the +Chinese stopped him, and very gravely said.</p> + +<p>"I think I have heard of him, was he not a Turk?"</p> + +<p>"How!" cried our sage in a fury, "don't you so much as know the +difference between Pagans, Christians, and Mahometans? Did you never +hear of Constantine? Do you know nothing of the history of the popes?"</p> + +<p>"We have heard something confusedly of one Mahomet," replied the +Asiatic.</p> + +<p>"It is surely impossible," said the other, "but that you must have heard +at least of Luther, Zuinglius, Bellarmin, and Œcolampadius."</p> + +<p>"I shall never remember all those names," said the Chinese, and so +saying he quitted the shop, and went to sell a large quantity of Pekoa +tea, and fine calico, and then after purchasing what merchandise he +required, set sail for his own country, adoring <i>Tien</i>, and recommending +himself to Confucius.</p> + +<p>As to myself, the conversation I had been witness to plainly discovered +to me the nature of vain glory; and I could not forbear exclaiming:</p> + +<p>"Since Cæsar and Jupiter are names unknown to the finest, most ancient, +most extensive, most populous, and most civilized kingdom in the +universe, it becomes ye well, O ye rulers of petty states! ye pulpit +orators of a narrow parish, or a little town! ye doctors of Salamanca, +or of Bourges! ye trifling authors, and ye heavy commentators!—it +becomes you well, indeed, to aspire to fame and immortality."</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_37" id="Footnote_1_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_37"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> According to Chambers' work on <i>The British Museum</i>, from +which the above cuts are copied, "the Chinese, are a vast nation of some +300,000,000 of souls, nearly a third part of the whole human race. The +entire population is subject to the supreme and despotic authority of a +single hereditary ruler who resides at Pekin, the chief city of the +whole empire. Under him the government is administered by a descending +hierarchy of officials or mandarins, who are chosen from all ranks of +the people, according to their talents as displayed in the course, first +of their education at school and college, and afterwards of their public +life. The officials are, in short, the men in highest repute for +scholarship and accomplishments in the empire; and the whole system of +the government is that of promotion upwards from the ranks of the +people, according to merit. The Chinese generally are remarkable for +common sense, orderliness, and frugal prudential habits. Printing and +paper being cheap among them, and education universal, they have an +immense literature, chiefly in the departments of the drama, the novel, +and the moral essay; their best writers of fiction are said to resemble +Richardson in style, and their best moralists Franklin. The greatest +name in their literature, or indeed in their history, is that of +Confucius, a philosopher and religious teacher who lived about 500 years +B.C., and who left a number of books expounding and enforcing the great +maxims of morality. During all the revolutions that have since elapsed, +the doctrines of Confucius have retained their hold of the Chinese mind, +and the religion of China consists in little more than an attachment to +these doctrines, and a veneration for their founder. With abstract +notions of the Deity, and of the destiny of man when he quits this life, +the Chinese do not trouble themselves; a moral, correct life, and +especially an honorable discharge of the duties of a son and a citizen, +is the whole aim of their piety. There are, however, some voluntary +sects among them, who superinduce articles of speculative belief on the +prosaic code of morality established by Confucius; and forms of +religious worship are practised over the whole country under the direct +sanction of the government. There are a number of figures, larger and +smaller, of Chinese divinities, some of which are very neatly carved in +ivory, wood, and stone. With what precise feelings the more educated +Chinese address these images in prayer—whether they look upon them as +symbols, or whether, like Polytheists generally, they actually view the +carved figures themselves as gifted with powers—it would be difficult +to say; the mass of the people, however, probably never ask the +question, but, from the mere force of custom, come to regard such +objects as the figure of Kwan-yin, the goddess of mercy, and the larger +gilt figures of the god and goddess, precisely as the Polytheistic +Greeks or Romans regarded their statues in their temples; that is, as +real divinities with power for good or evil. The religious sentiment, +however, sits very lightly on the Chinese. Absence of any feeling of the +supernatural is perhaps the most remarkable feature of the Chinese +character. +</p><p> +"Buddhism, was founded, as is generally believed, some centuries before +Christ by a Hindoo prince and sage named Gautama. As originally +propounded, Buddhism is supposed to have been a purer and more +reasonable form of faith than Brahminism, recognising more clearly the +spiritual and moral aims of religion; but, having been expelled from +Hindostan during the early centuries of our era, after having undergone +severe persecution from the Brahmins—at whose power it struck, by +proscribing the system of castes—-it sought refuge in the eastern +peninsula, Ceylon, Thibet, Japan, and China, where it has been modified +and corrupted into various forms."—E.</p></div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 386px;"> +<a name="The_birth_of_Minerva" id="The_birth_of_Minerva"></a> +<img src="images/img_074_birth_minerva.jpg" width="386" alt="The birth of Minerva from the brain Of Jove." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The birth of Minerva from the brain Of Jove.</span> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<a name="The_birth_of_Eve" id="The_birth_of_Eve"></a> +<img src="images/img_075_birth_eve.jpg" width="400" alt="The birth of Eve from the side of Adam." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The birth of Eve from the side of Adam.</span> +</div> + +<h5>ANDROGYNOUS DEITIES.</h5> +<blockquote><p class="block">The ancients ascribed the existence of the universe to the fiat of +omnipotence. Almighty power conjoined with infinite wisdom had +produced the world and all that it inhabits. Man, the head of +visible creation, was formed in the image of the gods, but the gods +only were endowed with generative or creative power. These gods +were androgynous—that is, male and female—containing in one +person both the paternal and maternal attributes. Plato taught that +mankind, like the gods, were originally androgynous, and Moses +tells us that Eve, in matured wisdom and beauty, sprang forth from +the side of Adam, even as</p> + +<p class="block"> +<span style="margin-left: 5.5em;">"From great Jove's head, the armed Minerva sprung</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 5.5em;">With awful shout."</span><br /> +</p> + +<p class="block">"The thought of God as the Divine Mother," says a sincere and +intelligent clergyman in a sermon recently published, "is a very +ancient one, found in the most early nature worships." "We thank +Thee O God," says the Rev. Theodore Parker, "that Thou art our +Father and our Mother." "O God," says St. Augustine, "Thou art the +Father, Thou the Mother of Thy children."</p> + +<p class="block">The preceding illustration of the birth of Minerva,—the goddess of +wisdom,—<i>i.e. wisdom issuing from the brain of Jove</i>, is from +Falkener's <i>Museum of Classical Antiquities</i>. It is taken from an +ancient Etruscan patera (mirror), now in the Museum at Bologna, and +is supposed to have been copied from the pediment of the eastern or +main entrance to the Parthenon, or temple of Minerva. This pediment +was the work of Phidias, and, like so many of the former monuments +of ancient art and civilization, is now forever lost to mankind.</p> + +<p class="block">"The goddess," says the distinguished architect and antiquary M. De +Quincy, "is shown issuing from the head of Jupiter. She has a +helmet on her head, buckler on her arm, and spear in her hand. +Jupiter is seated, holding a sceptre in one hand and a thunderbolt +in the other. On the right of the new born goddess is Juno, whose +arms are elevated, and who seems to have assisted at the +extraordinary childbirth. On the left of Jupiter is Venus, +recognizable by a sprig of myrtle and a dove. Behind Juno is +Vulcan, still armed with the axe which has cleft the head of the +god, and seeming to regard with admiration the success of his +operations."</p> + +<p class="block">The engraving representing the birth of Eve, is from the <i>Speculum +Salutis, or the Mirror of Salvation</i>, of which many manuscript +copies were issued, for the instruction of the mendicant friars, +between the twelfth and fifteenth centuries. "Heineken describes a +copy in the imperial library of Vienna, which he attributes to the +twelfth century. He says, such was the popularity of the work with +the Benedictines that almost every monastery possessed a copy of +it. Of the four manuscript copies owned by the British Museum, one +is supposed to have been written in the thirteenth century, another +copy is in the Flemish writing of the fifteenth century." This +work, which contains several engravings and forty-five chapters of +barbarous Latin rhymes, presents a good illustration of Christian +art as it existed during the period immediately preceding the +revival of letters, when the barbarism and ignorance of the dark +ages had supplanted the artistic culture of ancient Greece and +Rome.</p> + +<p class="block">Unprejudiced readers will doubtless admit that the birth of Minerva +from the brain of Jove greatly resembles the birth of Eve from the +side of Adam, and these myths show the analogy existing between the +Jewish and Pagan mythologies; but the design and execution of the +respective engravings, show the retrogression in art that had taken +place between the time of the immortal Phidias and that of Pope +Innocent III.<a name="FNanchor_1_38" id="FNanchor_1_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_38" class="fnanchor">[1]</a>—between Pagan civilization as it existed prior to +the Christian era, and the medieval barbarism of the successors of +St. Peter.</p> + +<p class="block">"God created man in his own image," says Godfrey Higgins in the +<i>Anacalypsis</i>, (vol. 2, p. 397.) "Everything was supposed to be in +the image of God; and thus man was created double—the male and +female in one person, or androgynous like God. By some uninitiated +Jews, of about the time of Christ, this double being was supposed +to have been created back to back [see the bearded Bacchus and +Ariadne on the following page]; but I believe, from looking at the +twins in all ancient zodiacs, it was side by side; precisely as we +have seen the Siamese boys,—but still <i>male</i> and <i>female</i>. +Besides, the book of Genesis implies that they were side by side, +by the woman being taken from the <i>side</i> of man. Among the Indians +the same doctrine is found, as we might expect."</p> + +<p class="block">"We must rise to man," says the eloquent clergyman previously +referred to, "in order to know rightly what God is. Humanity +plainly images a power which is at once the source and pattern of +the womanly as well as of the manly qualities, inasmuch as woman as +well as man is needed to fill out the idea of humanity. The womanly +traits—pity, forgiveness, gentleness, patience, sympathy, +unselfishness—are as worthy of the Divine Being as the manly +traits."—E.</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_38" id="Footnote_1_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_38"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> "It was," says Gibbon, "at the feet of his legate that +John of England surrendered his crown; and Innocent may boast of +the two most signal triumphs over sense and humanity, the +establishment of transsubstantiation, and the origin of the +inquisition."</p></div> +</blockquote> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 200px;"> +<a name="Bacchus_and_Ariadne" id="Bacchus_and_Ariadne"></a> +<img src="images/img_076_bacchus.jpg" width="200" alt="Bacchus and Ariadne." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Bacchus and Ariadne. +<a name="FNanchor_1_39" id="FNanchor_1_39"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_39" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></span> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<h2><a name="PLATOS_DREAM" id="PLATOS_DREAM"></a>PLATO'S DREAM.</h2> + + +<p>Plato was a great dreamer, as many others have been since his time. He +dreampt that mankind were formerly double; and that, as a punishment for +their crimes, they were divided into male and female.</p> + +<p>He undertook to prove that there can be no more than five perfect +worlds, because there are but five regular mathematical bodies. His +Republic was one of his principal dreams. He dreampt, moreover, that +watching arises from sleep, and sleep from watching; and that a person +who should attempt to look at an eclipse, otherwise than in a pail of +water, would surely lose his sight. Dreams were, at that time, in great +repute.</p> + +<p>Here follows one of his dreams, which is not one of the least +interesting. He thought that the great Demiurgos, the eternal geometer, +having peopled the immensity of space with innumerable globes, was +willing to make a trial of the knowledge of the genii who had been +witnesses of his works. He gave to each of them a small portion of +matter to arrange, nearly in the same manner as Phidias and Zeuxis would +have given their scholars a statue to carve, or a picture to paint, if +we may be allowed to compare small things to great.</p> + +<div class="figleft" style="width: 225px;"> +<a name="Envy" id="Envy"></a> +<img src="images/img_077_envy.jpg" width="225" alt="Envy." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Envy.</span> +</div> + +<p> +Demogorgon had for his lot the lump of mould, which we call the Earth; +and having formed it, such as it now appears, he thought he had executed +a masterpiece. He imagined he had silenced Envy herself, and expected to +receive the highest panegyrics, even from his brethren; but how great +was his surprise, when, at his next appearing among them, they received +him with a general hiss.</p> + +<p>One among them, more satirical than the rest, accosted him thus:</p> + +<p>"Truly you have performed mighty feats! you have divided your world into +two parts; and, to prevent the one from having communication with the +other, you have carefully placed a vast collection of waters between the +two hemispheres. The inhabitants must perish with cold under both your +poles, and be scorched to death under the equator. You have, in your +great prudence, formed immense deserts of sand, so that all who travel +over them may die with hunger and thirst. I have no fault to find with +your cows, your sheep, your cocks, and your hens; but can never be +reconciled to your serpents and your spiders. Your onions and your +artichokes are very good things, but I cannot conceive what induced you +to scatter such a heap of poisonous plants over the face of the earth, +unless it was to poison its inhabitants. Moreover, if I am not mistaken, +you have created about thirty different kinds of monkeys, a still +greater number of dogs, and only four or five species of the human race. +It is true, indeed, you have bestowed on the latter of these animals a +faculty by you called Reason; but, in truth, this same reason is a very +ridiculous thing, and borders very near upon folly. Besides, you do not +seem to have shown any very great regard to this two-legged creature, +seeing you have left him with so few means of defense; subjected him to +so many disorders, and provided him with so few remedies; and formed him +with such a multitude of passions, and so small a portion of wisdom or +prudence to resist them. You certainly was not willing that there should +remain any great number of these animals on the earth at once; for, +without reckoning the dangers to which you have exposed them, you have +so ordered matters that, taking every day through the year, the small +pox will regularly carry off the tenth part of the species, and sister +maladies will taint the springs of life in the nine remaining parts; and +then, as if this was not sufficient, you have so disposed things, that +one-half of those who survive will be occupied in going to law with each +other, or cutting one another's throats.</p> + +<p>"Now, they must doubtless be under infinite obligations to you, and it +must be owned you have executed a masterpiece."</p> + +<p>Demogorgon blushed. He was sensible there was much moral and physical +evil in this affair; but still he insisted there was more good than ill +in it.</p> + +<p>"It is an easy matter to find fault, good folks," said the genii; "but +do you imagine it is so easy to form an animal, who, having the gift of +reason and free-will, shall not sometimes abuse his liberty? Do you +think that, in rearing between nine and ten thousand different plants, +it is so easy to prevent some few from having noxious qualities? Do you +suppose that, with a certain quantity of water, sand, and mud, you could +make a globe that should have neither seas nor deserts?"</p> + +<p>"As for you, my sneering friend, I think you have just finished the +planet Jupiter. Let us see now what figure you make with your great +belts, and your long nights, with four moons to enlighten them. Let us +examine your worlds, and see whether the inhabitants you have made are +exempt from follies or diseases."</p> + +<p>Accordingly the genii fell to examining the planet Jupiter, when the +laugh went strongly against the laugher. The serious genii who had made +the planet Saturn, did not escape without his share of the censure, and +his brother operators, the makers of Mars, Mercury, and Venus, had each +in his turn some reproaches to undergo.</p> + +<p>Several large volumes, and a great number of pamphlets, were written on +this occasion; smart sayings and witty repartees flew about on all +sides; they railed against and ridiculed each other; and, in short, the +disputes were carried on with all the warmth of party heat, when the +eternal Demiurgos thus imposed silence on them all:</p> + +<p>"In your several performances there is both good and bad, because you +have a great share of understanding, but at the same time fall short of +perfection. Your works will not endure above an hundred millions of +years, after which you will acquire more knowledge, and perform much +better. It belongs to me alone to create things perfect and immortal."</p> + +<p>This was the doctrine Plato taught his disciples. One of them, when he +had finished his harangue, cried out, "<i>And so you then awoke?</i>"</p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_39" id="Footnote_1_39"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_39"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The above representation of a bearded Bacchus and Ariadne +is from Falkener's <i>Museum of Classical Antiquities</i>. The statue was +found at Pompeii in 1847.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 135px;"> +<a name="Plato" id="Plato"></a> +<img src="images/img_078_plato.jpg" width="135" alt="Plato." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Plato.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 455px;"> +<a name="Visiting_Seignior_Pococurante" id="Visiting_Seignior_Pococurante"></a> +<img src="images/img_079_pococurante.jpg" width="455" alt="Visiting Seignior Pococurante." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Visiting Seignior Pococurante.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2><a name="PLEASURE_IN_HAVING_NO_PLEASURE" id="PLEASURE_IN_HAVING_NO_PLEASURE"></a>PLEASURE IN HAVING NO PLEASURE.</h2> + + +<p>"Hitherto," said Candide to Martin, "I have met with none but +unfortunate people in the whole habitable globe, except in El Dorado, +but, observe those gondoliers, are they not perpetually singing?"</p> + +<p>"You do not see them," answered Martin, "at home with their wives and +brats. The doge has his chagrin, gondoliers theirs. Nevertheless, in the +main, I look upon the gondolier's life as preferable to that of the +doge; but the difference is so trifling, that it is not worth the +trouble of examining into."</p> + +<p>"I have heard great talk," said Candide, "of the Senator Pococurante, +who lives in that fine house at the Brenta, where, they say, he +entertains foreigners in the most polite manner. They pretend this man +is a perfect stranger to uneasiness."</p> + +<p>"I should be glad to see so extraordinary a being," said Martin.</p> + +<p>Candide thereupon sent a messenger to Seignior Pococurante, desiring +permission to wait on him the next day.</p> + +<p>Accordingly, Candide and his friend Martin went in a gondola on the +Brenta, and arrived at the palace of the noble Pococurante. The gardens +were laid out in elegant taste, and adorned with fine marble statues; +his palace was built after the most approved rules in architecture. The +master of the house, who was a man of sixty, and very rich, received our +two travelers with great politeness, but without much ceremony, which +somewhat disconcerted Candide, but was not at all displeasing to Martin.</p> + +<p>As soon as they were seated, two very pretty girls, neatly dressed, +brought in chocolate, which was extremely well frothed. Candide could +not help making encomiums upon their beauty and graceful carriage.</p> + +<p>"The creatures are well enough," said the senator, "but I am heartily +tired of women, of their coquetry, their jealousy, their quarrels, their +humors, their vanity, their pride, and their folly; I am weary of making +sonnets, or of paying for sonnets to be made on them; and, after all, +those two girls begin to grow very indifferent to me."</p> + +<p>After having refreshed himself, Candide walked into a large gallery, +where he was struck with the sight of a fine collection of paintings.</p> + +<p>"Pray," said Candide, "by what master are the first two of these?"</p> + +<p>"They are Raphael's," answered the senator. "I gave a great deal of +money for them seven years ago, purely out of curiosity, as they were +said to be the finest pieces in Italy; but I cannot say they please me: +the coloring is dark and heavy; the figures do not swell nor come out +enough, and the drapery is very bad. In short, notwithstanding the +encomiums lavished upon them, they are not, in my opinion, a true +representation of nature. I approve of no paintings but where I think I +behold nature herself; and there are very few, if any, of that kind to +be met with. I have what is called a fine collection, but it affords me +no delight."</p> + +<p>While dinner was getting ready, Pococurante ordered a concert. Candide +praised the music to the skies.</p> + +<p>"This noise," said the noble Venetian, "may amuse one for a little time, +but if it were to last above half an hour, it would grow very tiresome, +though perhaps no one would care to own it. Music has become the art of +executing that which is difficult. Now whatever is difficult cannot long +continue pleasing. I might take more pleasure in an opera if they had +not made that species of dramatic entertainment so shockingly monstrous; +and I am amazed that people can bear to see wretched tragedies set to +music, where the scenes are contrived for no other purpose than to lug +in, as it were by the ears, three or four ridiculous songs, to give a +favorite actress an opportunity of exhibiting her voice. Let who will or +can die away in raptures at the trills of an eunuch quavering the +majestic part of Cæsar or Cato, and strutting in a foolish manner on the +stage; for my part, I have long ago renounced these paltry +entertainments, which constitute the glory of modern Italy, and are so +dearly purchased by crowned heads."</p> + +<p>Candide opposed these sentiments; but he did it in a discreet manner; as +for Martin, he was entirely of the old senator's opinion.</p> + +<p>Dinner being served up, they sat down to table, and after a very hearty +repast returned to the library. Candide observing Homer richly bound, +commended the noble Venetian's taste.</p> + +<p>"This," said he, "is a book that was once the delight of the great +Pangloss, the best philosopher in Germany."</p> + +<p>"Homer is no favorite of mine," answered Pococurante, very coolly: "I +was made to believe once that I took a pleasure in reading him; but his +continual repetitions of battles have all such a resemblance with each +other; his gods, that are forever in a hurry and bustle without ever +doing anything; his Helen, that is the cause of the war, and yet hardly +acts in the whole performance; his Troy, that holds out so long, without +being taken; in short, all these things together make the poem very +insipid to me. I have asked some learned men, whether they are not in +reality as much tired as myself with reading this poet? Those who spoke +ingenuously, assured me that he had made them fall asleep; and yet, that +they could not well avoid giving him a place in their libraries; but it +was merely as they would do an antique, or those rusty medals which are +kept only for curiosity, and are of no manner of use in commerce."</p> + +<p>"But your excellency does not surely form this same opinion of Virgil?" +said Candide.</p> + +<p>"Why, I grant," replied Pococurante, "that the second, third, fourth, +and sixth book, of his Æneid are excellent; but as for his pious Æneas, +his strong Cloanthus, his friendly Achates, his boy Ascanius, his silly +King Latinus, his ill-bred Amata, his insipid Lavinia, and some other +characters much in the same strain, I think there cannot be in nature +anything more flat and disagreeable. I must confess, I much prefer Tasso +to him; nay, even that sleepy tale-teller Ariosto."</p> + +<p>"May I take the liberty to ask if you do not receive great pleasure from +reading Horace?" said Candide.</p> + +<p>"There are maxims in this writer," replied Pococurante, "from whence a +man of the world may reap some benefit; and the short measure of the +verse makes them more easy to retain in the memory. But I see nothing +extraordinary in his journey to Brundusium, and his account of his bad +dinner; nor in his dirty low quarrel between one Rupilius, whose words, +as he expresses it, were full of poisonous filth; and another, whose +language was dipped in vinegar. His indelicate verses against old women +and witches have frequently given me great offense; nor can I discover +the great merit of his telling his friend Mecænas, that if he will but +rank him in the class of lyric poets, his lofty head shall touch the +stars. Ignorant readers are apt to praise everything by the lump in a +writer of reputation. For my part, I read only to please myself. I like +nothing but that which makes for my purpose."</p> + +<p>Candide, who had been brought up with a notion of never making use of +his own judgment, was astonished at what he had heard; but Martin found +there was a good deal of reason in the senator's remarks.</p> + +<p>"O! here is a Tully," said Candide: "this great man, I fancy, you are +never tired of reading?"</p> + +<p>"Indeed, I never read him at all," replied Pococurante. "What is it to +me whether he pleads for Rabirius or Cluentius? I try causes enough +myself. I had once some liking for his philosophical works; but when I +found he doubted of everything, I thought I knew as much as himself, +<i>and had no need of a guide to learn ignorance</i>.</p> + +<p>"Ha!" cried Martin, "here are fourscore volumes of the <i>Memoirs of the +Academy of Sciences</i>. Perhaps there may be something curious and +valuable in this collection."</p> + +<p>"Yes," answered Pococurante, "so there might, if any one of these +compilers of this rubbish had only invented the art of pin-making; but +all these volumes are filled with mere chimerical systems, without one +single article conducive to real utility."</p> + +<p>"I see a prodigious number of plays," said Candide, "in Italian, +Spanish, and French."</p> + +<p>"Yes," replied the Venetian, "there are, I think, three thousand, and +not three dozen of them good for anything. As to these huge volumes of +divinity, and those enormous collections of sermons, they are not +altogether worth one single page in Seneca; and I fancy you will readily +believe that neither myself, nor any one else, ever looks into them."</p> + +<p>Martin, perceiving some shelves filled with English books, said to the +senator:</p> + +<p>"I fancy that a republican must be highly delighted with those books, +which are most of them written with a noble spirit of freedom."</p> + +<p>"It is noble to write as we think," said Pococurante; "it is the +privilege of humanity. Throughout Italy we write only what we do not +think; and the present inhabitants of the country of the Cæsars and +Antoninuses dare not acquire a single idea without the permission of a +father dominican. I should be enamoured of the spirit of the English +nation, did it not utterly frustrate the good effects it would produce, +by passion and the spirit of party."</p> + +<p>Candide, seeing a Milton, asked the senator if he did not think that +author a great man?</p> + +<p>"Who?" said Pococurante, sharply; "that barbarian who writes a tedious +commentary in ten books of rambling verse on the first chapter of +Genesis? that slovenly imitator of the Greeks, who disfigures the +creation by making the Messiah take a pair of compasses from heaven's +armory to plan the world; whereas Moses represented the Deity as +producing the whole universe by his fiat? Can I, think you, have any +esteem for a writer who has spoiled Tasso's hell and the devil? who +transforms Lucifer sometimes into a toad, and at others, into a pigmy? +who makes him say the same thing over again an hundred times? who +metamorphoses him into a school-divine? and who, by an absurdly serious +imitation of Ariosto's comic invention of fire-arms, represents the +devils and angels cannonading each other in heaven? Neither I nor any +other Italian can possibly take pleasure in such melancholy reveries; +but the marriage of sin and death, and snakes issuing from the womb of +the former, are enough to make any person sick that is not lost to all +sense of delicacy. This obscene, whimsical, and disagreeable poem, met +with the neglect it deserved at its first publication; and I only treat +the author now as he was treated in his own country by his +contemporaries."</p> + +<p>Candide was sensibly grieved at this speech, as he had a great respect +for Homer, and was very fond of Milton.</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said he softly to Martin, "I am afraid this man holds our German +poets in great contempt."</p> + +<p>"There would be no such great harm in that," said Martin.</p> + +<p>"O, what a surprising man!" said Candide still to himself; "what a +genius is this Pococurante! nothing can please him."</p> + +<p>After finishing their survey of the library, they went down into the +garden, when Candide commended the several beauties that offered +themselves to his view.</p> + +<p>"I know nothing upon earth laid out in such bad taste," said +Pococurante; "everything about it is childish and trifling; but I shall +soon have another laid out upon a nobler plan."</p> + +<p>"Well," said Candide to Martin, as soon as our two travelers had taken +leave of his excellency: "I hope you will own, that this man is the +happiest of all mortals, for he is above everything he possesses."</p> + +<p>"But do you not see," said Martin, "that he likewise dislikes everything +he possesses? It was an observation of Plato, long since, that those are +not the best stomachs that reject, without distinction, all sorts of +aliments."</p> + +<p>"True," said Candide; "but still there must certainly be a pleasure in +criticising everything, and in perceiving faults where others think they +see beauties."</p> + +<p>"That is," replied Martin, "there is a pleasure in having no pleasure."</p> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 455px;"> +<a name="The_yawning_oysters" id="The_yawning_oysters"></a> +<img src="images/img_080_oysters.jpg" width="455" alt="The "yawning oysters" discovered by Pythagoras." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The "yawning oysters" discovered by Pythagoras.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2><a name="AN_ADVENTURE_IN_INDIA" id="AN_ADVENTURE_IN_INDIA"></a>AN ADVENTURE IN INDIA.</h2> + + +<p>All the world knows that Pythagoras, while he resided in India, attended +the school of the Gymnosophists, and learned the language of beasts and +plants.<a name="FNanchor_1_40" id="FNanchor_1_40"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_40" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> One day, while he was walking in a meadow near the seashore, +he heard these words:</p> + +<p>"How unfortunate that I was born an herb! I scarcely attain two inches +in height, when a voracious monster, an horrid animal, tramples me under +his large feet; his jaws are armed with rows of sharp scythes, by which +he cuts, then grinds, and then swallows me. Men call this monster a +sheep. I do not suppose there is in the whole creation a more detestable +creature."</p> + +<p>Pythagoras proceeded a little way and found an oyster yawning on a small +rock. He had not yet adopted that admirable law, by which we are +enjoined not to eat those animals which have a resemblance to us.<a name="FNanchor_2_41" id="FNanchor_2_41"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_41" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> He +had scarcely taken up the oyster to swallow it, when it spoke these +affecting words:</p> + +<p>"O, Nature, how happy is the herb, which is, as I am, thy work! though +it be cut down, it is regenerated and immortal; and we, poor oysters, in +vain are defended by a double cuirass: villains eat us by dozens at +their breakfast, and all is over with us forever. What an horrible fate +is that of an oyster, and how barbarous are men!"</p> + +<p>Pythagoras shuddered; he felt the enormity of the crime he had nearly +committed; he begged pardon of the oyster with tears in his eyes, and +replaced it very carefully on the rock.</p> + +<p>As he was returning to the city, profoundly meditating on this +adventure, he saw spiders devouring flies; swallows eating spiders, and +sparrow-hawks eating swallows. "None of these," said he, "are +philosophers."</p> + +<p>On his entrance, Pythagoras was stunned, bruised, and thrown down by a +lot of tatterdemalions, who were running and crying: "Well done, he +fully deserved it." "Who? What?" said Pythagoras, as he was getting up. +The people continued running and crying: "O how delightful it will be to +see them boiled!"</p> + +<p>Pythagoras supposed they meant lentiles, or some other vegetables: but +he was in an error; they meant two poor Indians. "Oh!" said Pythagoras, +"these Indians, without doubt, are two great philosophers weary of their +lives, they are desirous of regenerating under other forms; it affords +pleasure to a man to change his place of residence, though he may be but +indifferently lodged: there is no disputing on taste."<a name="FNanchor_3_42" id="FNanchor_3_42"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_42" class="fnanchor">[3]</a></p> + +<p>He proceeded with the mob to the public square, where he perceived a +lighted pile of wood, and a bench opposite to it, which was called a +tribunal. On this bench judges were seated, each of whom had a cow's +tail in his hand, and a cap on his head, with ears resembling those of +the animal which bore Silenus when he came into that country with +Bacchus, after having crossed the Erytrean sea without wetting a foot, +and stopping the sun and moon; as it is recorded with great fidelity in +the Orphicks.</p> + +<p>Among these judges there was an honest man with whom Pythagoras was +acquainted. The Indian sage explained to the sage of Samos the nature of +that festival to be given to the people of India.</p> + +<p>"These two Indians," said he, "have not the least desire to be committed +to the flames. My grave brethren have adjudged them to be burnt; one for +saying, that the substance of Xaca is not that of Brahma; and the other +for supposing, that the approbation of the Supreme Being was to be +obtained at the point of death without holding a cow by the tail; +'Because,' said he, 'we may be virtuous at all times, and we cannot +always have a cow to lay hold of just when we may have occasion.' The +good women of the city were greatly terrified at two such heretical +opinions; they would not allow the judges a moment's peace until they +had ordered the execution of those unfortunate men."</p> + +<p>Pythagoras was convinced that from the herb up to man, there were many +causes of chagrin. However, he obliged the judges and even the devotees +to listen to reason, which happened only at that time.</p> + +<p>He went afterwards and preached toleration at Crotona; but a bigot set +fire to his house, and he was burnt—the man who had delivered the two +Hindoos from the flames? Let those save themselves who can!<a name="FNanchor_4_43" id="FNanchor_4_43"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_43" class="fnanchor">[4]</a></p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_40" id="Footnote_1_40"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_40"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Perhaps it would be impossible at the present day to +convince scientists that oysters formerly conversed intelligibly with +mankind and protested eloquently against human injustice; but all men +are not scientists, and there are many worthy people who still have +implicit faith in ancient Semitic records—who firmly believe in +miracles and prodigies—and who would consider it rank heresy to doubt +that the serpent, though now as mute as an oyster, formerly held a very +animated conversation, in the original Edenic language, with the +inexperienced and confiding female who then graced with her charming +presence the bowers of Paradise; and this sacred narrative of the +"maiden and the reptile" is quite as repugnant to modern science as the +sentimental fish story of "Pythagoras and the oyster". +</p><p> +As a matter of fact, the doctrine of the metempsichosis, as taught by +the Samian sage, was formerly held in great repute by the most civilized +nations of antiquity, and it is surely as easy to credit the assertion +of our author, that the ancient Gymnosophists "had learned the language +of beasts and plants" as to believe the unquestioned and orthodox +statement that a certain quadruped, (<i>Asinus vulgaris</i>,) —whose +romantic history is recorded in the twenty-second chapter of +Numbers,—was once upon a time able to converse in very good Hebrew with +Monsieur Balaam, an ancient prophet of great merit and renown.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_41" id="Footnote_2_41"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_41"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> The resemblance of oysters to mankind, here implied, can +only be apparent to the "eye of faith," and lovers of these delicious +bivalves will fail to recognize the family likeness.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_42" id="Footnote_3_42"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_42"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> Pythagoras was born at Samos, about 590 years before the +Christian era. He received an education well calculated to enlighten his +mind and invigorate his body. He studied poetry, music, eloquence and +astronomy, and became so proficient in gymnastic exercises, that in his +eighteenth year he won the prize for wrestling at the Olympic games. He +then visited Egypt and Chaldea, and gaining the confidence of the +priests, learned from them the artful policy by which they governed the +people. On his return to Samos he was saluted by the name of <i>Sophist</i>, +or wise man, but he declined the name, and was satisfied with that of +philosopher, or the <i>friend of wisdom</i>. He ultimately fixed his +residence in Magna Græcia, in the town of Crotona, where he founded the +school called <i>the Italian</i>. +</p><p> +This school became very prosperous, and hundreds of pupils received the +<i>secret instructions</i> of Pythagoras, who taught by the use of ciphers or +numbers, and hieroglyphic writings. His pupils were thus enabled to +correspond together in unknown characters; and, by the signs and words +employed, they could discover among strangers those who had been +educated in the Pythagorean school. All the pupils of the philosopher +greatly reverenced their teacher, and deemed it a crime to dispute his +word. One of their expressions "<i>thus saith the Master</i>," has been +adopted by modern sects. +</p><p> +The Samian sage taught the doctrine of the metempsichosis, or the +transmigration of the soul into different bodies, which he had probably +learned from the Brahmins; who believed that, in these various +peregrinations, the soul or thinking principle was purged from all evil, +and was ultimately absorbed into the Divine substance from which it was +supposed to have emanated. +</p><p> +Godfrey Higgins in the <i>Anacalypsis</i> cites authorities to prove that the +doctrine of the metempsichosis was held by "many of the early fathers of +the Christians, which they defended on several texts of the New +Testament. It was held by Origin, Calcidius, Synesius, and by the +Simonians, Basilidians, Valentiniens, Marcionites, and the Gnostics in +general. It was also held by the Pharisees among the Jews, and by the +most learned of the Greeks, and by many Chinese, Hindoos and Indians. +</p><p> +"When all the circumstances relating to Pythagoras and to his doctrines, +both in moral and natural philosophy, are considered," continues +Higgins, "nothing can be more striking than the exact conformity of the +latter to the received opinions of the moderns, and of the former to the +moral doctrines of Jesus Christ." +</p><p> +"The pupils of Pythagoras," says Eschenburg, <i>Manual of Classical +Literature</i>, "soon amounted to 600, dwelt in one public building, and +held their property in common. Under philosophy, the Italic school +included every object of human knowledge. But Pythagoras considered +music and astronomy of special value. He is supposed to have had some +very correct views of astronomy, agreeing with the true Copernican +system. The beautiful fancy of the music of the spheres is attributed to +him. The planets striking on the ether, through which they pass, must +produce a sound; this must vary according to their different magnitudes, +velocities, and relative distances; these differences were all adjusted +with perfect regularity and exact proportions, so that the movements of +the bodies produced the richest tones of harmony; not heard, however, by +mortal ears." +</p><p> +Pythagoras taught, and his followers maintained, the absolute equality +of property, "all their worldly possessions being brought into a common +store". The early Christians had also "all things in common," and the +doctrines of Jesus and Pythagoras have many points of resemblance. Both +were reformers, both sought to benefit the poor and the oppressed, both +taught and practised the doctrines now known as Communism, and both, for +their love to the human race, suffered a cruel martyrdom from an +orthodox and vindictive priesthood. +</p><p> +In obedience to an oracle, the Romans, long after the death of +Pythagoras, erected a statue to his memory as the wisest of +mankind.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_43" id="Footnote_4_43"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_43"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> Godfrey Higgins in the <i>Anacalypsis</i> draws aside the veil +of Isis, and explains in a satisfactory manner the reason why +Pythagoras, like Socrates and Jesus, was condemned to death by the +established priesthood. Each of these great reformers had been initiated +into the <i>sacred mysteries</i>, and each taught his followers by secret +symbols or parables that contained a hidden meaning; so "that seeing the +<i>uninitiated</i> might see and not perceive, and hearing might hear and not +understand." The reason that Jesus gave for following this method was +"because it is given unto you (<i>i.e.</i> the initiated) to know the +mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them (<i>i.e.</i> the people) it +is not given." (Matt. XIII: II.) The mass of mankind, being excluded +from this secret knowledge, were kept in a state of debasement as +compared with the favored few who were acquainted with the jealously +guarded secrets of the Cabala; and the earnest desire of these great +reformers—of these noble men who cheerfully gave their lives to benefit +their race—was, without divulging the secrets of their initiation, to +teach mankind to partake of the forbidden fruit of the tree of +knowledge, and to learn "that a virtuous life would secure eternal +happiness." Such philanthropic doctrines were denounced as wicked and +heretical by the orthodox priesthood, who instinctively oppose human +progress, and who, like the silversmith of Ephesus, described by St. +Paul, felt that "this our craft is in danger" should the people become +enlightened. They therefore, excited a popular clamor, and aroused the +worst passions and prejudices of their followers; who, inspired with +fanatic zeal, cruelly and wickedly burned Pythagoras of Crotona, +poisoned Socrates of Athens, and crucified Jesus of Nazareth.—E.</p></div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;"> +<a name="The_school_at_Issoire" id="The_school_at_Issoire"></a> +<img src="images/img_081_school.jpg" width="400" alt="The school at Issoire." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The school at Issoire.</span> +</div> + +<h2><a name="JEANNOT_AND_COLIN" id="JEANNOT_AND_COLIN"></a>JEANNOT AND COLIN.</h2> + + +<p>Many persons, worthy of credit, have seen Jeannot and Colin at school in +the town of Issoire, in Auvergne, France,—a town famous all over the +world for its college and its caldrons.</p> + +<p>Jeannot was the son of a dealer in mules of great reputation; and Colin +owed his birth to a good substantial farmer in the neighborhood, who +cultivated the land with four mules; and who, after he had paid all +taxes and duties at the rate of a sol per pound, was not very rich at +the year's end.</p> + +<p>Jeannot and Colin were very handsome, considering they were natives of +Auvergne; they dearly loved each other. They had many enjoyments in +common, and certain little adventures of such a nature as men always +recollect with pleasure when they afterwards meet in the world.</p> + +<p>Their studies were nearly finished, when a tailor brought Jeannot a +velvet suit of three colors, with a waistcoat from Lyons, which was +extremely well fancied. With these came a letter addressed to Monsieur +de la Jeannotière.</p> + +<p>Colin admired the coat, and was not at all jealous; but Jeannot assumed +an air of superiority, which gave Colin some uneasiness. From that +moment Jeannot abandoned his studies; he contemplated himself in a +glass, and despised all mankind.</p> + +<p>Soon after, a valet-de-chambre arrived post-haste, and brought a second +letter to the Marquis de la Jeannotière; it was an order from his +father, who desired the young marquis to repair immediately to Paris. +Jeannot got into his chaise, giving his hand to Colin with a smile, +which denoted the superiority of a patron. Colin felt his littleness, +and wept. Jeannot departed in all the pomp of his glory.</p> + +<p>Such readers as take a pleasure in being instructed should be informed +that Monsieur Jeannot the father, had, with great rapidity, acquired an +immense fortune by business. You will ask how such great fortunes are +made? My answer is, by luck. Monsieur Jeannot had a good person, so had +his wife; and she had still some freshness remaining. They went to Paris +on account of a law-suit, which ruined them; when fortune, which raises +and depresses men at her pleasure, presented them to the wife of an +undertaker belonging to one of the hospitals for the army. This +undertaker, a man of great talents, might make it his boast, that he had +buried more soldiers in a year than cannons destroy in ten. Jeannot +pleased the wife; the wife of Jeannot interested the undertaker. Jeannot +was employed in the undertaker's business; this introduced him to other +business. When our boat runs with wind and stream, we have nothing to do +but let it sail on. We then make an immense fortune with ease. The poor +creatures who from the shore see you pursue your voyage with full sail, +stare with astonishment; they cannot conceive to what you owe your +success; they envy you instinctively, and write pamphlets against you +which you never read.</p> + +<p>This is just what happened to Jeannot the father, who soon became +Monsieur de la Jeannotière; and who having purchased a marquisate in six +months time, took the young marquis, his son, from school, in order to +introduce him to the polite world at Paris.</p> + +<p>Colin, whose heart was replete with tenderness, wrote a letter of +compliments to his old companion, and congratulated him on his good +fortune. The little marquis did not reply. Colin was so much affected at +this neglect that he was taken ill.</p> + +<p>The father and mother immediately consigned the young marquis to the +care of a governor. This governor, who was a man of fashion, and who +knew nothing, was not able to teach his pupil anything.</p> + +<p>The marquis would have had his son learn Latin; this his lady opposed. +They then referred the matter to the judgment of an author, who had at +that time acquired great reputation by his entertaining writings. This +author was invited to dinner. The master of the house immediately +addressed him thus:</p> + +<p>"Sir, as you understand Latin, and are a man acquainted with the +court,—"</p> + +<p>"I understand Latin! I don't know one word of it," answered the wit, +"and I think myself the better for being unacquainted with it. It is +very evident that a man speaks his own language in greater perfection +when he does not divide his application between it and foreign +languages. Only consider our ladies; they have a much more agreeable +turn of wit than the men, their letters are written with a hundred times +the grace of ours. This superiority they owe to nothing else but their +not understanding Latin."</p> + +<p>"Well, was I not in the right?" said the lady. "I would have my son +prove a notable man, I would have him succeed in the world; and you see +that if he was to understand Latin he would be ruined. Pray, are plays +and operas performed in Latin? Do lawyers plead in Latin? Do men court a +mistress in Latin?"</p> + +<p>The marquis, dazzled by these reasons, gave up the point, and it was +resolved, that the young marquis should not misspend his time in +endeavoring to become acquainted with Cicero, Horace and Virgil.</p> + +<p>"Then," said the father, "what shall he learn? For he must know +something. Might not one teach him a little geography?"</p> + +<p>"Of what use will that be?" answered the governor. "When the marquis +goes to his estate, won't the postillion know the roads? They certainly +will not carry him out of his way. There is no occasion for a quadrant +to travel thither; and one can go very commodiously from Paris to +Auvergne without knowing what latitude one is in."</p> + +<p>"You are in the right," replied the father; "but I have heard of a +science, called astronomy, if I am not mistaken."</p> + +<p>"Bless me!" said the governor, "do people regulate their conduct by the +influence of the stars in this world? And must the young gentleman +perplex himself with the calculation of an eclipse, when he finds it +ready calculated to his hand in an almanac, which, at the same time, +shows him the movable feasts, the age of the moon, and also that of all +the princesses in Europe?"</p> + +<p>The lady agreed perfectly with the governor; the little marquis was +transported with joy; the father remained undetermined. "What then is my +son to learn?" said he.</p> + +<p>"To become amiable," answered the friend who was consulted, "and if he +knows how to please, he will know all that need be known. This art he +will learn in the company of his mother, without either he or she being +at any trouble."</p> + +<p>The lady, upon hearing this, embraced the ignorant flatterer, and said: +"It is easy to see, sir, that you are the wisest man in the world. My +son will be entirely indebted to you for his education. I think, +however, it would not be amiss if he was to know something of history."</p> + +<p>"Alas, madam, what is that good for," answered he; "there certainly is +no useful or entertaining history but the history of the day; all +ancient histories, as one of our wits has observed, are only fables that +men have agreed to admit as true. With regard to modern history, it is a +mere chaos, a confusion which it is impossible to make anything of. Of +what consequence is it to the young marquis, your son, to know that +Charlemagne instituted the twelve peers of France, and that his +successor stammered?"</p> + +<p>"Admirably said," cried the governor; "the genius of young persons is +smothered under a heap of useless knowledge; but of all sciences, the +most absurd, and that which, in my opinion, is most calculated to stifle +genius of every kind, is geometry. The objects about which this +ridiculous science is conversant, are surfaces, lines, and points, that +have no existence in nature. By the force of imagination, the +geometrician makes a hundred thousand curved lines pass between a circle +and a right line that touches it, when, in reality, there is not room +for a straw to pass there. Geometry, if we consider it in its true +light, is a mere jest, and nothing more."</p> + +<p>The marquis and his lady did not well understand the governor's meaning, +yet they were entirely of his opinion.</p> + +<p>"A man of quality, like the young marquis," continued he, "should not +rack his brains with useless sciences. If he should ever have occasion +for a plan of the lands of his estate, he may have them correctly +surveyed without studying geometry. If he has a mind to trace the +antiquity of his noble family, which leads the inquirer back to the most +remote ages, he will send for a Benedictine. It will be the same thing +with regard to all other wants. A young man of quality, endowed with a +happy genius, is neither a painter, a musician, an architect, nor a +graver; but he makes all these arts flourish by generously encouraging +them. It is, doubtless, better to patronize than to practice them. It is +enough for the young marquis to have a taste; it is the business of +artists to exert themselves for him; and it is in this sense that it is +said very justly of people of quality, (I mean those who are very rich), +that they know all things without having learnt anything; for they, in +fact, come at last to know how to judge concerning whatever they order +or pay for."</p> + +<p>The ignorant man of fashion then spoke to this purpose:</p> + +<p>"You have very justly observed, madam, that the grand end which a man +should have in view is to succeed in the world. Can it possibly be said +that this success is to be obtained by cultivating the sciences? Did +anybody ever so much as think of talking of geometry in good company? +Does anyone ever inquire of a man of the world, what star rises with the +sun? Who enquires at supper, whether the long-haired Clodio passed the +Rhine?"</p> + +<p>"No, doubtless," cried the marchioness, whom her charms had in some +measure initiated into the customs of the polite world; "and my son +should not extinguish his genius by the study of all this stuff. But +what is he, after all, to learn? for it is proper that a young person of +quality should know how to shine upon an occasion, as my husband +observes. I remember to have heard an abbé say, that the most delightful +of all the sciences, is something that begins with a <i>B</i>."</p> + +<p>"With a B, madam? Is it not botany you mean?"</p> + +<p>"No, it was not botany he spoke of; the name of the science he mentioned +began with <i>B</i>, and ended with <i>on</i>."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I comprehend you, madam," said the man of fashion; "it is <i>Blason</i> +you mean. It is indeed a profound science; but it is no longer in +fashion, since the people of quality have ceased to cause their arms to +be painted upon the doors of their coaches. It was once the most useful +thing in the world, in a well regulated state. Besides, this study would +be endless. Now-a-days there is hardly a barber that has not his coat of +arms; and you know that whatever becomes common is but little esteemed."</p> + +<p>In fine, after they had examined the excellencies and defects of all the +sciences, it was determined that the young marquis should learn to +dance.</p> + +<p>Nature, which does all, had given him a talent that quickly displayed +itself surprisingly; it was that of singing ballads agreeably. The +graces of youth, joined to this superior gift, caused him to be looked +upon as a young man of the brightest hopes. He was admired by the women; +and having his head full of songs, he composed some for his mistress. He +stole from the song "<i>Bacchus and Love</i>" in one ballad; from that of +"<i>Night and Day</i>" in another; from that of "<i>Charms and Alarms</i>" in a +third. But as there were always in his verses some superfluous feet, or +not enough, he had them corrected for twenty louis-d'ors a song; and in +the annals of literature he was put upon a level with the La Fares, +Chaulieus, Hamiltons, Sarrazins, and Voitures.</p> + +<p>The marchioness then looked upon herself as the mother of a wit, and +gave a supper to the wits of Paris. The young man's brain was soon +turned; he acquired the art of speaking without knowing his own meaning, +and he became perfect in the habit of being good for nothing. When his +father found he was so eloquent, he very much regretted that his son had +not learned Latin; for he would have bought him a lucrative place among +the gentry of the long robe. The mother, who had more elevated +sentiments, undertook to procure a regiment for her son; and in the +meantime, courtship was his occupation. Love is sometimes more expensive +than a regiment. He was very improvident, whilst his parents exhausted +their finances still more, by expensive living.</p> + +<p>A young widow of fashion, their neighbor, who had but a moderate +fortune, had an inclination to secure the great wealth of Monsieur and +Madame de la Jeannotière, and appropriating it to herself, by a marriage +with the young marquis. She allured him to visit her; she admitted his +addresses; she showed that she was not indifferent to him; she led him +on by degrees; she enchanted and captivated him without much difficulty. +Sometimes she lavished praises upon him, sometimes she gave him advice. +She became the most intimate friend of both the father and mother.</p> + +<p>An elderly lady, who was their neighbor, proposed the match. The +parents, dazzled by the glory of such an alliance, accepted the proposal +with joy. They gave their only son to their intimate friend.</p> + +<p>The young marquis was now on the point of marrying a woman whom he +adored, and by whom he was beloved; the friends of the family +congratulated them; the marriage articles were just going to be drawn +up, whilst wedding clothes were being made for the young couple, and +their epithalamium composed.</p> + +<p>The young marquis was one day upon his knees before his charming +mistress, whom love, esteem, and friendship were going to make all his +own. In a tender and spirited conversation, they enjoyed a foretaste of +their coming happiness, they concerted measures to lead a happy life. +When all on a sudden a valet-de-chambre belonging to the old +marchioness, arrived in a great fright.</p> + +<p>"Here is sad news," said he, "officers have removed the effects of my +master and mistress; the creditors have seized upon all by virtue of an +execution; and I am obliged to make the best shift I can to have my +wages paid."</p> + +<p>"Let's see," said the marquis, "what is this? What can this adventure +mean?"</p> + +<p>"Go," said the widow, "go quickly, and punish those villains."</p> + +<p>He runs, he arrives at the house; his father is already in prison; all +the servants have fled in different ways, each carrying off whatever he +could lay his hands upon. His mother is alone, without assistance, +without comfort, drowned in tears. She has nothing left but the +remembrance of her fortune, of her beauty, her faults, and her +extravagant living.</p> + +<p>After the son had wept a long time with his mother, he at length said to +her:</p> + +<p>"Let us not give ourselves up to despair. This young widow loves me to +excess; she is more generous than rich, I can answer for her; I will go +and bring her to you."</p> + +<p>He returns to his mistress, and finds her in company with a very amiable +young officer.</p> + +<p>"What, is it you, M. de la Jeannotière," said she; "what brings you +here? Is it proper to forsake your unhappy mother in such a crisis? Go +to that poor, unfortunate woman, and tell her that I still wish her +well. I have occasion for a chamber-maid, and will give her the +preference."</p> + +<p>"My lad," said the officer, "you are well shaped. Enlist in my company; +you may depend on good usage."</p> + +<p>The marquis, thunderstruck, and with a heart enraged, went in quest of +his old governor, made him acquainted with his misfortune, and asked his +advice. The governor proposed that he should become a tutor, like +himself.</p> + +<p>"Alas!" said the marquis, "I know nothing; you have taught me nothing, +and you are the first cause of my misfortunes." He sobbed when he spoke +thus.</p> + +<p>"Write romances," said a wit who was present; "it is an admirable +resource at Paris."</p> + +<p>The young man, in greater despair than ever, ran to his mother's +confessor. This confessor was a Theatin of great reputation, who +directed the consciences only of women of the first rank. As soon as he +saw Jeannot, he ran up to him:</p> + +<p>"My God, Mr. Marquis," said he, "where is your coach? How is the good +lady your mother?"</p> + +<p>The poor unfortunate young man gave him an account of what had befallen +his family. In proportion as he explained himself the Theatin assumed an +air more grave, more indifferent, and more defiant.</p> + +<p>"My son," said he, "it is the will of God that you should be reduced to +this condition; riches serve only to corrupt the heart. God, in his +great mercy, has then reduced your mother to beggary?"</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 394px;"> +<a name="Jeannot_and_Colin_2" id="Jeannot_and_Colin_2"></a> +<img src="images/img_082_jeannot.jpg" width="394" alt="JEANNOT AND COLIN." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Jeannot and Colin.</span> +</div> + +<p>"Yes, sir," answered the marquis.</p> + +<p>"So much the better," said the confessor, "her election is the more +certain."</p> + +<p>"But father," said the marquis, "is there in the mean time no hopes of +some assistance in this world?"</p> + +<p>"Farewell, my son," said the confessor; "a court lady is waiting for +me."</p> + +<p>The marquis was almost ready to faint. He met with much the same +treatment from all; and acquired more knowledge of the world in half a +day than he had previously learned in all the rest of his life.</p> + +<p>Being quite overwhelmed with despair, he saw an old-fashioned chaise +advance, which resembled an open wagon with leather curtains; it was +followed by four enormous carts which were loaded. In the chaise there +was a young man, dressed in the rustic manner, whose fresh countenance +was replete with sweetness and gaiety. His wife, a little woman of a +brown complexion and an agreeable figure, though somewhat stout, sat +close by him. As the carriage did not move on like the chaise of a +petit-maître, the traveler had sufficient time to contemplate the +marquis, who was motionless and immersed in sorrow.</p> + +<p>"Good God," cried he, "I think that is Jeannot." Upon hearing this name, +the marquis lifts up his eyes, the carriage stops, and Colin cries out, +"'Tis Jeannot, 'tis Jeannot himself."</p> + +<p>The little fat bumpkin gave but one spring from the chaise and ran to +embrace his old companion. Jeannot recollected his friend Colin, while +his eyes were blinded with tears of shame.</p> + +<p>"You have abandoned me," said Colin; "but, though you are a great man, I +will love you forever."</p> + +<p>Jeannot, confused and affected, related to him with emotion a great part +of his history.</p> + +<p>"Come to the inn where I lodge, and tell me the rest of it," said Colin; +"embrace my wife here, and let us go and dine together." They then went +on foot, followed by their baggage.</p> + +<p>"What is all this train," said Jeannot; "is it yours?"</p> + +<p>"Yes," answered Colin, "it all belongs to me and to my wife. We have +just come in from the country. I am now at the head of a large +manufactory of tin and copper. I have married the daughter of a merchant +well provided with all things necessary for the great as well as the +little. We work a great deal; God blesses us; we have not changed our +condition; we are happy; we will assist our friend Jeannot. Be no longer +a marquis; all the grandeur in the world is not to be compared to a good +friend. You shall return with me to the country. I will teach you the +trade; it is not very difficult; I will make you my partner, and we will +live merrily in the remote corner where we were born."</p> + +<p>Jeannot, quite transported, felt emotions of grief and joy, tenderness +and shame; and he said within himself: "My fashionable friends have +betrayed me, and Colin, whom I despised, is the only one who comes to +relieve me." What instruction does not this narrative afford!</p> + +<p>Colin's goodness of heart caused the seeds of a virtuous disposition, +which the world had not quite stifled in Jeannot, to revive. He was +sensible that he could not forsake his father and mother.</p> + +<p>"We will take care of your mother," said Colin; "and as to the good man +your father, who is now in jail, his creditors, seeing he has nothing, +will compromise matters for a trifle. I know something of business, and +will take the whole affair upon myself."</p> + +<p>Colin found means to procure the father's enlargement. Jeannot returned +to the country with his relatives, who resumed their former way of life. +He married a sister of Colin, and she, being of the same temper with her +brother, made him completely happy.</p> + +<p>Jeannot the father, Jeannote the mother, and Jeannot the son, were thus +convinced that happiness is not the result of vanity.</p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 455px;"> +<img src="images/img_083_emblems.jpg" width="455" alt="Religious emblems." title="" /> +</div> + + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_HISTORY_OF_THE_TRAVELS_OF_SCARMENTADO" id="THE_HISTORY_OF_THE_TRAVELS_OF_SCARMENTADO"></a> +THE HISTORY OF THE TRAVELS OF SCARMENTADO. +<a name="FNanchor_1_44" id="FNanchor_1_44"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_44" class="fnanchor"><span class="small">[1]</span></a></h2> + + +<p>I was born in Candia, in the year 1600. My father was governor of the +city; and I remember that a poet of middling parts, and of a most +unmusical ear, whose name was Iro, composed some verses in my praise, in +which he made me to descend from Minos in a direct line; but my father +being afterwards disgraced, he wrote some other verses, in which he +derived my pedigree from no nobler an origin than the amours of Pasiphæ +and her gallant. This Iro was a most mischievous rogue, and one of the +most troublesome fellows in the island.</p> + +<p>My father sent me at fifteen years of age to prosecute my studies at +Rome. There I arrived in full hopes of learning all kinds of truth; for +I had hitherto been taught quite the reverse, according to the custom of +this lower world from China to the Alps. Monsignor Profondo, to whom I +was recommended, was a man of a very singular character, and one of the +most terrible scholars in the world. He was for teaching me the +categories of Aristotle; and was just on the point of placing me in the +category of his minions; a fate which I narrowly escaped. I saw +processions, exorcisms, and some robberies.</p> + +<p>It was commonly said, but without any foundation, that la Signora +Olympia, a lady of great prudence, had deceived many lovers, she being +both inconstant and mercenary. I was then of an age to relish such +comical anecdotes.</p> + +<p>A young lady of great sweetness of temper, called la Signora Fatelo, +thought proper to fall in love with me. She was courted by the reverend +father Poignardini, and by the reverend father Aconiti,<a name="FNanchor_2_45" id="FNanchor_2_45"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_45" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> young monks +of an order now extinct; and she reconciled the two rivals by declaring +her preference for me; but at the same time I ran the risk of being +excommunicated and poisoned. I left Rome highly pleased with the +architecture of St. Peter.</p> + +<p>I traveled to France. It was during the reign of Louis the Just. The +first question put to me was, whether I chose to breakfast on a slice of +the Marshal D'Ancre,<a name="FNanchor_3_46" id="FNanchor_3_46"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_46" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> whose flesh the people had roasted and +distributed with great liberality to such as chose to taste it.</p> + +<p>This kingdom was continually involved in civil wars, sometimes for a +place at court, sometimes for two pages of theological controversy. This +fire, which one while lay concealed under the ashes, and at another +burst forth with great violence, had desolated these beautiful provinces +for upwards of sixty years. The pretext was, defending the liberties of +the Gallican church. "Alas!" said I, "these people are nevertheless born +with a gentle disposition. What can have drawn them so far from their +natural character? They joke and keep holy days.<a name="FNanchor_4_47" id="FNanchor_4_47"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_47" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> Happy the time when +they shall do nothing but joke!"</p> + +<p>I went over to England, where the same disputes occasioned the same +barbarities. Some pious Catholics had resolved, for the good of the +church, to blow up into the air with gunpowder the king, the royal +family, and the whole parliament, and thus to deliver England from all +these heretics at once. They showed me the place where Queen Mary of +blessed memory, the daughter of Henry VIII., had caused more than five +hundred, of her subjects to be burnt. An Irish priest assured me that it +was a very good action; first, because those who were burnt were +Englishmen; and secondly, because they did not make use of holy water, +nor believe in St. Patrick. He was greatly surprised that Queen Mary was +not yet canonized; but he hoped she would receive that honor as soon as +the cardinal should be a little more at leisure.</p> + +<p>From thence I went to Holland, where I hoped to find more tranquillity +among a people of a more cold and phlegmatic temperament. Just as I +arrived at the Hague, the people were cutting off the head of a +venerable old man. It was the bald head of the prime minister Barnevelt; +a man who deserved better treatment from the republic. Touched with pity +at this affecting scene, I asked what was his crime, and whether he had +betrayed the state.</p> + +<p>"He has done much worse," replied a preacher in a black cloak; "he +believed that men may be saved by good works as well as by faith. You +must be sensible," adds he, "that if such opinions were to gain ground, +a republic could not subsist; and that there must be severe laws to +suppress such scandalous and horrid blasphemies."</p> + +<p>A profound politician said to me with a sigh: "Alas! sir, this happy +time will not last long; it is only by chance that the people are so +zealous. They are naturally inclined to the abominable doctrine of +toleration, and they will certainly at last grant it." This reflection +set him a groaning. For my own part, in expectation of that fatal period +when moderation and indulgence should take place, I instantly quitted a +country where severity was not softened by any lenitive, and embarked +for Spain.</p> + +<p>The court was then at Seville, the galleons had just arrived; and +everything breathed plenty and gladness, in the most beautiful season of +the year. I observed at the end of an alley of orange and citron trees, +a kind of large ring, surrounded with steps covered with rich and costly +cloth. The king, the queen, the infants, and the infantas, were seated +under a superb canopy. Opposite to the royal family was another throne, +raised higher than that on which his majesty sat. I said to a +fellow-traveler: "Unless this throne be reserved for God, I don't see +what purpose it can serve."</p> + +<p>This unguarded expression was overheard by a grave Spaniard, and cost me +dear. Meanwhile, I imagined we were going to a carousal, or a match of +bull-baiting, when the grand inquisitor appeared in that elevated +throne, from whence he blessed the king and the people.</p> + +<p>Then came an army of monks, who led off in pairs, white, black, grey, +shod, unshod, bearded, beardless, with pointed cowls, and without cowls. +Next followed the hangman; and last of all were seen, in the midst of +the guards and grandees, about forty persons clad in sackcloth, on which +were painted the figures of flames and devils. Some of these were Jews, +who could not be prevailed upon to renounce Moses entirely; others were +Christians, who had married women with whom they had stood sponsors to a +child; who had not adored our Lady of Atocha; or who had refused to part +with their ready money in favor of the Hieronymite brothers. Some pretty +prayers were sung with much devotion, and then the criminals were burnt +at a slow fire; a ceremony with which the royal family seemed to be +greatly edified.</p> + +<p>As I was going to bed in the evening, two members of the inquisition +came to my lodging with a figure of St. Hermandad. They embraced me with +great tenderness, and conducted me in solemn silence to a well-aired +prison, furnished with a bed of mat, and a beautiful crucifix. There I +remained for six weeks; at the end of which time the reverend father, +the Inquisitor, sent for me. He pressed me in his arms for some time +with the most paternal affection, and told me that he was sorry to hear +that I had been so ill lodged; but that all the apartments of the house +were full, and hoped I should be better accommodated the next time. He +then asked me with great cordiality if I knew for what reason I was +imprisoned.</p> + +<p>I told the reverend father that it was evidently for my sins.</p> + +<p>"Very well," said he, "my dear child; but for what particular sin? Speak +freely."</p> + +<p>I racked my brain with conjectures, but could not possibly guess. He +then charitably dismissed me. At last I remembered my unguarded +expression. I escaped with a little bodily correction, and a fine of +thirty thousand reals. I was led to make my obeisance to the grand +Inquisitor, who was a man of great politeness. He asked me how I liked +his little feast. I told him it was a most delicious one; and then went +to press my companions to quit the country, beautiful as it was.</p> + +<p>They had, during my imprisonment, found time to inform themselves of all +the great things which the Spaniards had done for the interest of +religion. They had read the memoirs of the famous bishop of Chiapa, by +which it appears that they had massacred, or burnt, or drowned, about +ten millions of infidels in America, in order to convert them. I believe +the accounts of the bishop are a little exaggerated; but suppose we +reduce the number of victims to five millions, it will still be a most +glorious achievement.</p> + +<p>The impulse for traveling still possessed me. I had proposed to finish +the tour of Europe with Turkey, and thither we now directed our course. +I made a firm resolution not to give my opinion of any public feasts I +might see in the future. "These Turks," said I to my companions, "are a +set of miscreants that have not been baptized, and therefore will be +more cruel than the reverend fathers the inquisitors. Let us observe a +profound silence while we are among the Mahometans." When we arrived +there, I was greatly surprised to see more Christian churches in Turkey +than in Candia. I saw also numerous troops of monks, who were allowed to +pray to the virgin Mary with great freedom, and to curse Mahomet—some +in Greek, some in Latin, and others in Armenian. "What good-natured +people are these Turks," cried I.</p> + +<p>The Greek christians, and the Latin christians in Constantinople were +mortal enemies. These sectarians persecuted each other in much the same +manner as dogs fight in the streets, till their masters part them with a +cudgel.</p> + +<p>The grand vizier was at that time the protector of the Greeks. The Greek +patriarch accused me of having supped with the Latin patriarch; and I +was condemned in full divan to receive an hundred blows on the soles of +my feet, redeemable for five hundred sequins. Next day the grand vizier +was strangled. The day following his successor, who was for the Latin +party, and who was not strangled till a month after, condemned me to +suffer the same punishment, for having supped with the Greek patriarch. +Thus was I reduced to the sad necessity of absenting myself entirely +from the Greek and Latin churches.</p> + +<p>In order to console myself for this loss, I frequently visited a very +handsome Circassian. She was the most entertaining lady I ever knew in a +private conversation, and the most devout at the mosque. One evening she +received me with tenderness and sweetly cried, "Alla, Illa, Alla."</p> + +<p>These are the sacramental words of the Turks. I imagined they were the +expressions of love, and therefore cried in my turn, and with a very +tender accent, "Alla, Illa, Alla."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said she, "God be praised, thou art then a Turk?"</p> + +<p>I told her that I was blessing God for having given me so much +enjoyment, and that I thought myself extremely happy.</p> + +<p>In the morning the inman came to enroll me among the circumcised, and as +I made some objection to the initiation, the cadi of that district, a +man of great loyalty, proposed to have me impaled. I preserved my +freedom by paying a thousand sequins, and then fled directly into +Persia, resolved for the future never to hear Greek or Latin mass, nor +to cry "Alla, Illa, Alla," in a love encounter.</p> + +<p>On my arrival at Ispahan, the people asked me whether I was for white or +black mutton? I told them that it was a matter of indifference to me, +provided it was tender. It must be observed that the Persian empire was +at that time split into two factions, that of the white mutton and that +of the black. The two parties imagined that I had made a jest of them +both; so that I found myself engaged in a very troublesome affair at the +gates of the city, and it cost me a great number of sequins to get rid +of the white and the black mutton.</p> + +<p>I proceeded as far as China, in company with an interpreter, who assured +me that this country was the seat of gaiety and freedom. The Tartars had +made themselves masters of it, after having destroyed everything with +fire and sword.</p> + +<p>The reverend fathers, the Jesuits, on the one hand, and the reverend +fathers, the Dominicans, on the other, alleged that they had gained many +souls to God in that country, without any one knowing aught of the +matter. Never were seen such zealous converters. They alternately +persecuted one another; they transmitted to Rome whole volumes of +slander; and treated each other as infidels and prevaricators for the +sake of one soul. But the most violent dispute between them was with +regard to the manner of making a bow. The Jesuits would have the +Chinese to salute their parents after the fashion of China, and the +Dominicans would have them to do it after the fashion of Rome.</p> + +<p>I happened unluckily to be taken by the Jesuits for a Dominican. They +represented me to his Tartarian majesty as a spy of the pope. The +supreme council charged a prime mandarin, who ordered a sergeant, who +commanded four shires of the country, to seize me and bind me with great +ceremony. In this manner I was conducted before his majesty, after +having made about an hundred and forty genuflections. He asked me if I +was a spy of the pope's, and if it was true that that prince was to come +in person to dethrone him. I told him that the pope was a priest of +seventy years of age; that he lived at the distance of four thousand +leagues from his sacred Tartaro-Chinese majesty; that he had about two +thousand soldiers, who mounted guard with umbrellas; that he never +dethroned anybody; and that his majesty might sleep in perfect security.</p> + +<p>Of all the adventures of my life this was the least fatal. I was sent to +Macao, and there I took shipping for Europe.</p> + +<p>My ship required to be refitted on the coast of Golconda. I embraced +this opportunity to visit the court of the great Aureng-Zeb, of whom +such wonderful things have been told, and which was then in Delphi. I +had the pleasure to see him on the day of that pompous ceremony in which +he receives the celestial present sent him by the Sherif of Mecca. This +was the besom with which they had swept the holy house, the Caaba, and +the Beth Alla. It is a symbol that sweeps away all the pollutions of the +soul.</p> + +<p>Aureng-Zeb seemed to have no need of it. He was the most pious man in +all Indostan. It is true, he had cut the throat of one of his brothers, +and poisoned his father. Twenty Rayas, and as many Omras, had been put +to death; but that was a trifle. Nothing was talked of but his devotion. +No king was thought comparable to him, except his sacred majesty Muley +Ismael, the most serene emperor of Morocco, who always cut off some +heads every Friday after prayers.</p> + +<p>I spoke not a word. My travels had taught me wisdom. I was sensible that +it did not belong to me to decide between these august sovereigns. A +young Frenchman, a fellow-lodger of mine, was, however, greatly wanting +in respect to both the emperor of the Indies and to that of Morocco. He +happened to say very imprudently, that there were sovereigns in Europe +who governed their dominions with great equity, and even went to church +without killing their fathers or brothers, or cutting off the heads of +their subjects.</p> + +<p>This indiscreet discourse of my young friend, the interpreter at once +translated. Instructed by former experience, I instantly caused my +camels to be saddled, and set out with my Frenchman. I was afterwards +informed that the officers of the great Aureng-Zeb came that very night +to seize me, but finding only the interpreter, they publicly executed +him; and the courtiers all claimed, very justly, that his punishment was +well deserved.</p> + +<p>I had now only Africa to visit in order to enjoy all the pleasures of +our continent; and thither I went to complete my voyage. The ship in +which I embarked was taken by the Negro corsairs. The master of the +vessel complained loudly, and asked why they thus violated the laws of +nations. The captain of the Negroes thus replied:</p> + +<p>"You have a long nose and we have a short one. Your hair is straight and +ours is curled; your skin is ash-colored and ours is of the color of +ebon; and therefore we ought, by the sacred laws of nature, to be always +at enmity. You buy us in the public markets on the coast of Guinea like +beasts of burden, to make us labor in I don't know what kind of +drudgery, equally hard and ridiculous. With the whip held over our +heads, you make us dig in mines for a kind of yellow earth, which in +itself is good for nothing, and is not so valuable as an Egyptian onion. +In like manner wherever we meet you, and are superior to you in +strength, we make you slaves, and oblige you to cultivate our fields, or +in case of refusal we cut off your nose and ears."</p> + +<p>To such a learned discourse it was impossible to make any answer. I +submitted to labor in the garden of an old negress, in order to save my +nose and ears. After continuing in slavery for a whole year, I was at +length happily ransomed.</p> + +<p>As I had now seen all that was rare, good, or beautiful on earth, I +resolved for the future to see nothing but my own home. I took a wife, +and soon suspected that she deceived me; but, notwithstanding this +doubt, I still found that of all conditions of life this was much the +happiest.<br /><br /></p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_44" id="Footnote_1_44"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_44"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The reader will perceive that this is a spirited satire on +mankind in general, and particularly on persecution for conscience +sake.—<i>Trans.</i></p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_45" id="Footnote_2_45"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_45"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Alluding to the infamous practice of poisoning and +assassination at that time prevalent in Rome.—<i>Trans.</i></p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_46" id="Footnote_3_46"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_46"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> This was the famous Concini, who was murdered on the +draw-bridge of the Louvre, by the intrigues of De Luines, not without +the knowledge of the king, Louis XIII. His body, which had been secretly +interred in the church of St. Germain de l'Auxerrois, was next day dug +up by the populace, who dragged it through the streets, then burned the +flesh, and threw the bones into the river. The marshal's greatest crime +was his being a foreigner.—<i>Tr.</i></p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_47" id="Footnote_4_47"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_47"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> Referring to the massacre of Protestants, on the eve of St. +Bartholomew.—<i>Tr.</i></p></div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 440px;"> +<a name="Brahma_the_Creator_Vishnu_the_Preserver" id="Brahma_the_Creator_Vishnu_the_Preserver"></a> +<img src="images/img_084_brahma.jpg" width="440" alt="Brahma, the Creator.—Vishnu, the Preserver. —Siva, +the Destroyer." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">Brahma, the Creator.—Vishnu, the Preserver. —Siva, +the Destroyer.</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_GOOD_BRAMIN" id="THE_GOOD_BRAMIN"></a>THE GOOD BRAMIN.</h2> + +<h4><span class="maroon">DOES HAPPINESS RESULT FROM IGNORANCE OR FROM KNOWLEDGE?</span></h4> + + +<p>In my travels I once happened to meet with an aged Bramin. This man had +a great share of understanding and prudence, and was very learned. He +was also very rich, and his riches added greatly to his popularity; for, +wanting nothing that wealth could procure, he had no desire to defraud +any one. His family was admirably managed by three handsome wives, who +always studied to please him; and when he was weary of their society, he +had recourse to the study of philosophy.</p> + +<p>Not far from his house, which was handsome, well-furnished and +embellished with delightful gardens, dwelt an old Indian woman who was a +great bigot, ignorant, and withall very poor.</p> + +<p>"I wish," said the Bramin to me one day, "I had never been born!"</p> + +<p>"Why so?" said I.</p> + +<p>"Because," replied he, "I have been studying these forty years, and I +find it has been so much time lost. While I teach others I know nothing +myself. The sense of my condition is so humiliating, it makes all things +so distasteful to me, that life has become a burden. I have been born, +and I exist in time, without knowing what time is. I am placed, as our +wise men say, in the confines between two eternities, and yet I have no +idea of eternity. I am composed of matter, I think, but have never been +able to satisfy myself what it is that produces thought. I even am +ignorant whether my understanding is a simple faculty I possess, like +that of walking and digesting, or if I think with my head in the same +manner as I take hold of a thing with my hands. I am not only thus in +the dark with relation to the principles of thought, but the principles +of my motions are entirely unknown to me. I do not know why I exist, and +yet I am applied to every day for a solution of the enigma. I must +return an answer, but can say nothing satisfactory on the the subject. I +talk a great deal, and when I have done speaking remain confounded and +ashamed of what I have said."</p> + +<p>"I am in still greater perplexity when I am asked if Brama was produced +by Vishnu, or if they have both existed from eternity. God is my judge +that I know nothing of the matter, as plainly appears by my answers. +'Reverend father,' says one, 'be pleased to inform me how evil is spread +over the face of the earth.' I am as much at a loss as those who ask the +question. Sometimes I tell them that every thing is for the best; but +those who have the gout or the stone—those who have lost their fortunes +or their limbs in the wars—believe as little of this assertion as I do +myself. I retire to my own house full of curiosity, and endeavor to +enlighten my ignorance by consulting the writings of our ancient sages, +but they only serve to bewilder me the more. When I talk with my +brethren upon this subject, some tell me we ought to make the most of +life and laugh at the world. Others think they know something, and lose +themselves in vain and chimerical hypotheses. Every effort I make to +solve the mystery adds to the load I feel. Sometimes I am ready to fall +into despair when I reflect that, after all my researches, I neither +know from whence I came, what I am, whither I shall go, or what is to +become of me."</p> + +<p>The condition in which I saw this good man gave me real concern. No one +could be more rational, no one more open and honest. It appeared to me +that the force of his understanding and the sensibility of his heart +were the causes of his misery.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The same day I had a conversation with the old woman, his neighbor. I +asked her if she had ever been unhappy for not understanding how her +soul was made? She did not even comprehend my question. She had not, for +the briefest moment in her life, had a thought about these subjects with +which the good Bramin had so tormented himself. She believed from the +bottom of her heart in the metamorphoses of her god Vishnu, and, +provided she could get some of the sacred water of the Ganges in which +to make her ablutions, she thought herself the happiest of women.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Struck with the happiness of this poor creature, I returned to my +philosopher, whom I thus addressed:</p> + +<p>"Are you not ashamed to be thus miserable when, not fifty yards from +you, there is an old automaton who thinks of nothing and lives +contented?"</p> + +<p>"You are right," he replied. "I have said to myself a thousand times +that I should be happy if I were but as ignorant as my old neighbor, and +yet it is a happiness I do not desire."</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>This reply of the Bramin made a greater impression on me than any thing +that had passed. I consulted my own heart and found that I myself should +not wish to be happy on condition of being ignorant.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>I submitted this matter to some philosophers, and they were all of my +opinion: and yet, said I, there is something very contradictory in this +manner of thinking; for, after all, what is the question? Is it not to +be happy? What signifies it then whether we have understandings or +whether we are fools? Besides, there is this to be said: those who are +contented with their condition are sure of that content; while those +who have the faculty of reasoning are not always sure of reasoning +right. It is evident then, I continued, that we ought rather to wish not +to have common sense, if that common sense contributes to our being +either miserable or wicked.</p> + +<p>They were all of my opinion, and yet not one of them could be found, to +accept of happiness on the terms of being ignorant. From hence I +concluded, that although we may set a great value upon happiness, we set +a still greater upon reason.</p> + +<p>But after mature reflection upon this subject I still thought there was +great madness in preferring reason to happiness. How is this +contradiction to be explained? Like all other questions, a great deal +may be said about it.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 200px;"> +<a name="The_happy_bigot" id="The_happy_bigot"></a> +<img src="images/img_085_bigot.jpg" width="200" alt="The happy bigot." title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 258px;"> +<img src="images/img_086_comforters.jpg" width="258" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 25%;" /> + +<h2><a name="THE_TWO_COMFORTERS" id="THE_TWO_COMFORTERS"></a>THE TWO COMFORTERS.</h2> + + +<p>The great philosopher Citosile once said to a woman who was +disconsolate, and who had good reason to be so: "Madame, the queen of +England, daughter to Henry IV., was as wretched as you. She was banished +from her kingdom, was in great danger of losing her life at sea, and saw +her royal spouse expire on a scaffold."</p> + +<p>"I am sorry for her," said the lady, and began again to lament her own +misfortunes.</p> + +<p>"But," said Citosile, "remember the fate of Mary Stuart. She loved, (but +with a most chaste and virtuous affection,) an excellent musician, who +played admirably on the bass-viol. Her husband killed her musician +before her face; and in the sequel, her good friend and relative, queen +Elizabeth, who called herself a virgin, caused her head to be cut off on +a scaffold covered with black, after having confined her in prison for +the space of eighteen years."</p> + +<p>"That was very cruel," replied the lady, and presently relapsed into her +former melancholy.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps," said the comforter, "you have heard of the beautiful Joan of +Naples, who was taken prisoner and strangled."</p> + +<p>"I have a dim remembrance of her," said the afflicted lady.</p> + +<p>"I must relate to you," continued the other, "the adventure of a +sovereign princess who, within my recollection, was dethroned after +supper, and who died in a desert island."</p> + +<p>"I know her whole history," replied the lady.</p> + +<p>"Well, then," said Citosile, "I will tell you what happened to another +great princess whom I instructed in philosophy. She had a lover as all +great and beautiful princesses have. Her father surprised this lover in +her company, and was so displeased with the young man's confused manner +and excited countenance, that he gave him one of the most terrible blows +that had ever been given in his province. The lover seized a pair of +tongs and broke the head of the angry parent, who was cured with great +difficulty, and who still bears the marks of the wound. The lady in a +fright leaped out of the window and dislocated her foot, in consequence +of which she habitually halts, though still possessed in other respects +of a very handsome person. The lover was condemned to death for having +broken the head of a great prince. You can imagine in what a deplorable +condition the princess must have been when her lover was led to the +gallows. I have seen her long ago when she was in prison, and she always +spoke to me of her own misfortunes."</p> + +<p>"And why will you not allow me to think of mine?" said the lady.</p> + +<p>"Because," said the philosopher, "you ought not to think of them; and +since so many great ladies have been so unfortunate, it ill becomes you +to despair. Think of Hecuba, —think of Niobe."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said the lady, "had I lived in their time, or in that of so many +beautiful princesses, and had you endeavored to console them by a +relation of my misfortunes, would they have listened to you, do you +imagine?"</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Next day the philosopher lost his only son, and was entirely prostrated +with grief. The lady caused a catalogue to be drawn up of all the kings +who had lost their children, and carried it to the philosopher. He read +it—found it very exact—and wept nevertheless.</p> + +<p>Three months afterwards they chanced to renew their acquaintance, and +were mutually surprised to find each other in such a gay and sprightly +humor. To commemorate this event, they caused to be erected a beautiful +statue to Time, with this inscription: "TO HIM WHO COMFORTS."</p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 425px;"> +<a name="The_winged_dragon" id="The_winged_dragon"></a> +<img src="images/img_087_dragon.jpg" width="425" alt="The winged dragon." title="" /> +<span class="caption_fig">The winged dragon. +<a name="FNanchor_1_48" id="FNanchor_1_48"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_48" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> +</span> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 85%;" /> + +<h2><a name="ANCIENT_FAITH_AND_FABLE" id="ANCIENT_FAITH_AND_FABLE"></a>ANCIENT FAITH AND FABLE.</h2> + +<p>In order to be successful in their efforts to govern the multitude, +rulers have endeavored to instill all the visionary notions possible +into the minds of their subjects.</p> + +<p>The good people who read <i>Virgil</i>, or the <i>Provincial Letters</i>, do not +know that there are twenty times more copies of the <i>Almanac of Liège</i> +and of the <i>Courier Boiteux</i> printed, than of all the ancient and modern +books together. No one can have a greater admiration than myself for the +illustrious authors of these <i>Almanacs</i> and their brethren. I know that +ever since the time of the ancient Chaldeans there have been fixed and +stated days for taking physic, paring our nails, giving battle, and +cleaving wood. I know that the best part of the revenue of an +illustrious academy consists in the sale of these <i>Almanacs</i>. May I +presume to ask, with all possible submission, and a becoming diffidence +of my own judgment, what harm it would do to the world if some powerful +astrologer were to assure the peasants and the good inhabitants of +little villages that they might safely pare their nails when they +please, provided it be done with a good intention? The people, I shall +be told, would not buy the <i>Almanacs</i> of this new astrologer. On the +contrary, I will venture to affirm, that there would be found among +your great geniuses many who would make a merit in following this +novelty. Should it be alleged, however, that these geniuses, in their +new born zeal, would form factions and kindle a civil war, I would have +nothing farther to say on the subject, but readily give up for the sake +of peace my too radical and dangerous opinion.</p> + +<p>Every body knows the king of Boutan. He is one of the greatest princes +in the universe. He tramples under his feet the thrones of the earth; +and his shoes (if he has any) are provided with sceptres instead of +buckles. He adores the devil, as is well known, and his example is +followed by all his courtiers. He one day sent for a famous sculptor of +my country, and ordered him to make a beautiful statue of Beelzebub. The +sculptor succeeded admirably. Never before was there seen such an +interesting and handsome devil. But, unhappily, our Praxiteles had only +given five clutches to his statue, whereas the devout Boutaniers always +gave him six. This serious blunder of the artist was aggravated by the +grand master of ceremonies to the devil with all the zeal of a man +justly jealous of his master's acknowledged rights, and also of the +established and sacred customs of the kingdom of Boutan. He insisted +that the sculptor should be punished for his thoughtless innovation by +the loss of his head. The anxious sculptor explained that his five +clutches were exactly equal in weight to six ordinary clutches; and the +king of Boutan, who was a prince of great clemency, granted him a +pardon. From that time the people of Boutan no longer believed the dogma +relating to the devil's six clutches.</p> + +<p>The same day it was thought necessary that his majesty should be bled, +and a surgeon of Gascony, who had come to his court in a ship belonging +to our East India Company, was appointed to take from him five ounces of +his precious blood. The astrologer of that quarter cried out that the +king would be in danger of losing his life if the surgeon opened a vein +while the heavens were in their present state. The Gascon might have +told him that the only question was about the king's health; but he +prudently waited a few moments and then, taking an <i>Almanac</i> in his +hand, thus addressed the astrologer.</p> + +<p>"You was in the right, great man! The king would have died held he been +bled at the instant you mentioned; but the heavens have since changed +their aspect, and now is the favorable moment."</p> + +<p>The astrologer assented to the surgeon's observation. The king was +cured; and by degrees it became an established custom among the +Boutaniers to bleed their kings whenever it was considered necessary.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>Although the Indian astronomers understood the method of calculating +eclipses, yet the common people obstinately held to the old belief that +the sun, when obscured, had fallen into the throat of a great dragon, +and that the only way to free him from thence was by standing naked in +the water and making a hideous noise to frighten away the monster, and +oblige him to release his hold.<a name="FNanchor_2_49" id="FNanchor_2_49"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_49" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> This notion, which is quite prevalent +among the orientals, is an evident proof how much the symbols of +religion and natural philosophy have at all times been perverted by the +common people. The astronomers of all ages have been wont to distinguish +the two points of intersection, upon which every eclipse happens, and +which are called the Lunar Nodes, by marking them with a dragon's head +and tail. Now the vulgar, who are equally ignorant in every part of the +world, took the symbol or sign for the thing itself. Thus, when the +astronomers said the sun is in the dragon's head, the common people said +the dragon is going to swallow up the sun; and yet these people were +remarkable for their fondness for astrology. But while we laugh at the +ignorance and credulity of the Indians, we do not reflect that there are +no less than 300,000 <i>Almanacs</i> sold yearly in Europe, all of them +filled with observations and predictions equally as false and absurd as +any to be met with among the Indians. It is surely as reasonable to say +that the sun is in the mouth or the claws of a dragon, as to tell people +every year in print that they must not sow, nor plant, nor take physic, +nor be bled, but on certain days of the moon. It is high time, in an age +like ours, that some men of learning should think it worth their while +to compose a calendar that might be of use to the industrious classes by +instructing instead of deceiving them.</p> + +<p>A blustering Dominican at Rome said to an English philosopher with whom +he was disputing:</p> + +<p>"You are a dog; you say that it is the earth that turns round, never +reflecting that Joshua made the sun to stand still!"</p> + +<p>"Well! my reverend father," replied the philosopher, "ever since that +time hath not the sun been immovable?"</p> + +<p>The dog and the Dominican embraced each other, and even the devout +Italians were at length convinced that the earth turns round.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>An augur and a senator lamented, in the time of Cæsar, the declining +state of the republic.</p> + +<p>"The times, indeed, are very bad," said the senator, "we have reason to +tremble for the liberty of Rome."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" said the augur, "that is not the greatest evil; the people now +begin to lose the respect which they formerly had for our order. We seem +barely to be tolerated—we cease to be necessary. Some generals have the +assurance to give battle without consulting us. And, to complete our +misfortunes, even those who sell us the sacred pullets begin to reason."</p> + +<p>"Well, and why don't you reason likewise?" replied the senator, "and +since the dealers in pullets in the time of Cæsar are more knowing than +they were in the time of Numa, ought not you modern augurs to be better +philosophers than those who lived in former ages?"<br /><br /></p> + + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_48" id="Footnote_1_48"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_48"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> This dragon was of the same species, <i>Draco Volans</i>, as the +savage reptile slain by St. George, the patron saint of England, or the +sleepless dragon at Colchis, from which Jason rescued the <i>golden +fleece</i>. The bible history abounds with allusions to dragons, and with +prophecies of their coming exploits in the stellar spheres. These +marvels may be considered, however, as more strange than credible, and +more ancient than authentic—E.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_49" id="Footnote_2_49"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_49"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> In Rev. XII: 3, 4, the Dragon is represented as deftly +seizing one-third of the stars of heaven with his tail, and rudely +wresting them in dire confusion from the celestial spheres.—E.</p></div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 165px;"> +<img src="images/img_088_end.jpg" width="165" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 95%;" /> + +<p class="caption"><a name="ILLUSTRATIONS" id="ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>ILLUSTRATIONS.<br /></p> + +<div class="center"> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#de_Voltaire">Voltaire, by Houdon</a>—<i>Frontispiece.</i></td><td align="left"><a href="#Ancient_barbarous_customs">Preservers of Ancient Customs</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Voltaire_at_seventy">Voltaire, at seventy</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Dancing_a_tambourin">Dancing a <i>Tambourin</i></a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Writing_implements">Ancient Writing implements, from Pompeii</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Clio_the_muse_of_history">Clio, the Muse of History</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Voltaire_in_early_manhood">Voltaire in early manhood</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_Tax_Collector">The Tax Collector</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_white_bull">The White Bull</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Palace_of_the_barefooted_Carmelites">Barefooted Carmelites</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Apis">Apis</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Entering_the_convent">Entering the Convent</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#silence">Silence</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_rack">The Rack</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Amasidia">Amasidia</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_Priory_entrance">The Priory Entrance</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_remarkable_witch">The Witch of Endor</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_huron_identified">The Huron Identified</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#serpent">The Serpent</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_Huron_baptized">Baptism of Hercules</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Nebuchadnezzar">Nebuchadnezzar</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_separation">The Separation</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Lot_and_his_wayward_daughters">Lot and his Family</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_Confessional">The Confessional</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Daniel_Ezekiel_and_Jeremiah">Daniel, Ezekiel & Jeremiah</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Father_Tout-a-tous">Father Tout-à-Tous</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Egyptian_priests">Egyptian Priests</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_meeting">The Meeting</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Winged_bull">Winged Bull</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Death_of_Miss_St_Ives">Death of Miss St. Yves</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_scape-goat">The Scape Goat</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#A_medieval_exploring_vessel">A Medieval Exploring Vessel</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Caravan">Caravan approaching Babylon</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Micromegas_captures_a_ship">Micromegas captures a Ship</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_cup">The Cup</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_spiritual_rulers_of_Persepolis">The Spiritual Rulers of Persepolis</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Egyptian_archer">Egyptian Archer</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Burying_the_dead_in_churches">Burying the Dead in Churches</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_funeral_pyre">The Funeral Pyre</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Procession_of_Souls_to_Judgment">Good and Evil Genii</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Oannes_the_Fish_God">Oannes—The Fish God</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Young_Memnon">Young Memnon</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Almona">Almona</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Memnon_and_the_distressed_Ninevite">Memnon and the Distressed Ninevite</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Zadig_and_the_brigand">Zadig and the Brigand</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Des_Touches_and_Croutef">Des Touches and Croutef</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_basilisk">The Basilisk</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Boodh_resting">Boodh supported by Serpents</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Zadig_discovers_Queen_Astarte">Zadig and the Queen</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_Fakir">The Fakir</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Cador_concealing_Astarte">Cador concealing Astarte</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Sphinx">The Sphinx</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_combats">The Combats</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_study_of_nature">The Study of Nature</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_hermit">The Hermit</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_poor_clergyman">The Poor Clergyman</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#freindson">Freind and his wayward Son</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Kwan-yin">Kwan-yin, Burmese, Buddha, and Chinese Ivory Figure</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Don_Jeronimo_Bueno_Caracucarador">Don Jeronimo Bueno Caracurador</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_birth_of_Eve">The Birth of Minerva and Eve—Androgynous Deities</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Condemned_by_the_Inquisition">Condemned by the Inquisition</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Bacchus_and_Ariadne">Bacchus and Ariadne</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Epictetus_the_slave">Epictetus the Slave</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Envy">Envy</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Grand_entrance_to_palace">Grand Entrance to Palace</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Plato">Plato</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_Phoenix">The Phœnix</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Visiting_Seignior_Pococurante">Visiting Seignor Pococurante</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_unknown_youth">The King of Scythia rescued from the Lion</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_yawning_oysters">The "Yawning Oysters"</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_shrine_at_Bassora">The Shrine at Bassora</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_school_at_Issoire">The School at Issoire</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Consulting_the_oracle">Consulting the Oracle</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Jeannot_and_Colin_2">Jeannot and Colin</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Religious_wars_in_Albion">Religious Wars in Albion</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#Brahma_the_Creator_Vishnu_the_Preserver">Brahma, Vishna, and Siva</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#The_Old_Man_of_the_Seven_Mountains">The Old Man of the Seven Mountains</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_happy_bigot">The happy Bigot</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Kissing_an_old_man_s_toe">Kissing an Old Man's Toe</a></td><td align="left"><a href="#The_winged_dragon">The Winged Dragon</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><a href="#Gaiety_and_frivolity">Gaiety and Frivolity</a></td><td></td></tr> +</table></div> + + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 35595 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/35595-h/images/img_001_frontispiece.jpg b/35595-h/images/img_001_frontispiece.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a401152 --- /dev/null +++ b/35595-h/images/img_001_frontispiece.jpg diff --git a/35595-h/images/img_001b_volt_02.jpg b/35595-h/images/img_001b_volt_02.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..aaf39e7 --- /dev/null +++ b/35595-h/images/img_001b_volt_02.jpg diff --git a/35595-h/images/img_002_pompei.jpg b/35595-h/images/img_002_pompei.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5bc7464 --- /dev/null +++ b/35595-h/images/img_002_pompei.jpg diff --git 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