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diff --git a/old/wc03v10.txt b/old/wc03v10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5f49341 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/wc03v10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5266 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Dwelling Place of Light, V2 +#3 in our series by this Winston Churchill + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.06/12/01*END* +[Portions of this header are copyright (C) 2001 by Michael S. Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + + + + + +This etext was produced by Pat Castevans <Patcat@ctnet.net> +and David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +NOTE: This author is a cousin of Sir Winston Churchill the Prime Minister +of England during World War II. + + + + + +THE DWELLING-PLACE OF LIGHT + +BY WINSTON CHURCHILL + + +VOLUME 2 + + +CHAPTER IX + +At certain moments during the days that followed the degree of tension +her relationship with Ditmar had achieved tested the limits of Janet's +ingenuity and powers of resistance. Yet the sense of mastery at being +able to hold such a man in leash was by no means unpleasurable to a young +woman of her vitality and spirit. There was always the excitement that +the leash might break--and then what? Here was a situation, she knew +instinctively, that could not last, one fraught with all sorts of +possibilities, intoxicating or abhorrent to contemplate; and for that +very reason fascinating. When she was away from Ditmar and tried to +think about it she fell into an abject perplexity, so full was it of +anomalies and contradictions, of conflicting impulses; so far beyond her +knowledge and experience. For Janet had been born in an age which is +rapidly discarding blanket morality and taboos, which has as yet to +achieve the morality of scientific knowledge, of the individual instance. +Tradition, convention, the awful examples portrayed for gain in the +movies, even her mother's pessimistic attitude in regard to the freedom +with which the sexes mingle to-day were powerless to influence her. The +thought, however, that she might fundamentally resemble her sister Lise, +despite a fancied superiority, did occasionally shake her and bring about +a revulsion against Ditmar. Janet's problem was in truth, though she +failed so to specialize it, the supreme problem of our time: what is the +path to self-realization? how achieve emancipation from the commonplace? + +Was she in love with Ditmar? The question was distasteful, she avoided +it, for enough of the tatters of orthodox Christianity clung to her to +cause her to feel shame when she contemplated the feelings he aroused in +her. It was when she asked herself what his intentions were that her +resentment burned, pride and a sense of her own value convinced her that +he had deeply insulted her in not offering marriage. Plainly, he did not +intend to offer marriage; on the other hand, if he had done so, a +profound, self-respecting and moral instinct in her would, in her present +mood, have led her to refuse. She felt a fine scorn for the woman who, +under the circumstances, would insist upon a bond and all a man's worldly +goods in return for that which it was her privilege to give freely; while +the notion of servility, of economic dependence--though she did not so +phrase it--repelled her far more than the possibility of social ruin. + +This she did not contemplate at all; her impulse to leave Hampton and +Ditmar had nothing to do with that.... + +Away from Ditmar, this war of inclinations possessed her waking mind, +invaded her dreams. When she likened herself to the other exploited +beings he drove to run his mills and fill his orders,--of whom Mr. +Siddons had spoken--her resolution to leave Hampton gained such definite +ascendancy that her departure seemed only a matter of hours. + +In this perspective Ditmar appeared so ruthless, his purpose to use her +and fling her away so palpable, that she despised herself for having +hesitated. A longing for retaliation consumed her; she wished to hurt +him before she left. At such times, however, unforeseen events +invariably intruded to complicate her feelings and alter her plans. One +evening at supper, for instance, when she seemed at last to have achieved +the comparative peace of mind that follows a decision after struggle, she +gradually became aware of an outburst from Hannah concerning the stove, +the condition of which for many months had been a menace to the welfare +of the family. Edward, it appeared, had remarked mildly on the absence +of beans. + +"Beans!" Hannah cried. "You're lucky to have any supper at all. I just +wish I could get you to take a look at that oven--there's a hole you can +put your hand through, if you've a mind to. I've done my best, I've made +out to patch it from time to time, and to-day I had Mr. Tiernan in. He +says it's a miracle I've been able to bake anything. A new one'll cost +thirty dollars, and I don't know where the money's coming from to buy it. +And the fire-box is most worn through." + + +"Well, mother, we'll see what we can do," said Edward. + +"You're always seeing what you can do, but I notice you never do +anything," retorted Hannah; and Edward had the wisdom not to reply. +Beside his place lay a lengthy, close-written letter, and from time to +time, as he ate his canned pears, his hand turned over one of its many +sheets. + +"It's from Eben Wheeler, says he's been considerably troubled with +asthma," he observed presently. "His mother was a Bumpus, a daughter of +Caleb-descended from Robert, who went from Dolton to Tewksbury in 1816, +and fought in the war of 1812. I've told you about him. This Caleb was +born in '53, and he's living now with his daughter's family in +Detroit.... Son-in-law's named Nott, doing well with a construction +company. Now I never could find out before what became of Robert's +descendants. He married Sarah Styles" (reading painfully) "`and they had +issue, John, Robert, Anne, Susan, Eliphalet. John went to Middlebury, +Vermont, and married '" + +Hannah, gathering up the plates, clattered them together noisily. + +"A lot of good it does us to have all that information about Eben +Wheeler's asthma!" she complained. "It'll buy us a new stove, I guess. +Him and his old Bumpus papers! If the house burned down over our heads +that's all he'd think of." + +As she passed to and fro from the dining-room to the kitchen Hannah's +lamentations continued, grew more and more querulous. Accustomed as +Janet was to these frequent arraignments of her father's inefficiency, it +was gradually borne in upon her now--despite a preoccupation with her own +fate--that the affair thus plaintively voiced by her mother was in effect +a family crisis of the first magnitude. She was stirred anew to anger +and revolt against a life so precarious and sordid as to be threatened in +its continuity by the absurd failure of a stove, when, glancing at her +sister, she felt a sharp pang of self-conviction, of self-disgust. Was +she, also, like that, indifferent and self-absorbed? Lise, in her +evening finery, looking occasionally at the clock, was awaiting the hour +set for a rendezvous, whiling away the time with the Boston evening sheet +whose glaring red headlines stretched across the page. When the +newspaper fell to her lap a dreamy expression clouded Lise's eyes. She +was thinking of some man! Quickly Janet looked away, at her father, only +to be repelled anew by the expression, almost of fatuity, she discovered +on his face as he bent over the letter once more. Suddenly she +experienced an overwhelming realization of the desperation of Hannah's +plight,--the destiny of spending one's days, without sympathy, toiling in +the confinement of these rooms to supply their bodily needs. Never had a +destiny seemed so appalling. And yet Janet resented that pity. The +effect of it was to fetter and inhibit; from the moment of its intrusion +she was no longer a free agent, to leave Hampton and Ditmar when she +chose. Without her, this family was helpless. She rose, and picked up +some of the dishes. Hannah snatched them from her hands. + +"Leave 'em alone, Janet!" she said with unaccustomed sharpness. "I guess +I ain't too feeble to handle 'em yet." + +And a flash of new understanding came to Janet. The dishes were +vicarious, a substitute for that greater destiny out of which Hannah had +been cheated by fate. A substitute, yes, and perhaps become something of +a mania, like her father's Bumpus papers.... Janet left the room +swiftly, entered the bedroom, put on her coat and hat, and went out. +Across the street the light in Mr. Tiernan's shop was still burning, and +through the window she perceived Mr. Tiernan himself tilted back in his +chair, his feet on the table, the tip of his nose pointed straight at the +ceiling. When the bell betrayed the opening of the door he let down his +chair on the floor with a bang. + +"Why, it's Miss Janet!" he exclaimed. "How are you this evening, now? I +was just hoping some one would pay me a call." + +Twinkling at her, he managed, somewhat magically, to dispel her temper of +pessimism, and she was moved to reply:-- + +"You know you were having a beautiful time, all by yourself." + +"A beautiful time, is it? Maybe it's because I was dreaming of some +young lady a-coming to pay me a visit." + +"Well, dreams never come up to expectations, do they?" + +"Then it's dreaming I am, still," retorted Mr. Tiernan, quickly. + +Janet laughed. His tone, though bantering, was respectful. One of the +secrets of Mr. Tiernan's very human success was due to his ability to +estimate his fellow creatures. His manner of treating Janet, for +instance, was quite different from that he employed in dealing with Lise. +In the course of one interview he had conveyed to Lise, without arousing +her antagonism, the conviction that it was wiser to trust him than to +attempt to pull wool over his eyes. Janet had the intelligence to trust +him; and to-night, as she faced him, the fact was brought home to her +with peculiar force that this wiry-haired little man was the person above +all others of her immediate acquaintance to seek in time of trouble. It +was his great quality. Moreover, Mr. Tiernan, even in his morning +greetings as she passed, always contrived to convey to her, in some +unaccountable fashion, the admiration and regard in which he held her, +and the effect of her contact with him was invariably to give her a +certain objective image of herself, an increased self-confidence and +self-respect. For instance, by the light dancing in Mr. Tiernan's eyes +as he regarded her, she saw herself now as the mainstay of the helpless +family in the clay-yellow flat across the street. And there was nothing, +she was convinced, Mr. Tiernan did not know about that family. So she +said:-- + +"I've come to see about the stove." + +"Sure," he replied, as much as to say that the visit was not unexpected. +"Well, I've been thinking about it, Miss Janet. I've got a stove here I +know'll suit your mother. It's a Reading, it's almost new. Ye'd better +be having a look at it yourself." + +He led her into a chaos of stoves, grates, and pipes at the back of the +store. + +"It's in need of a little polish," he added, as he turned on a light, +"but it's sound, and a good baker, and economical with coal." He opened +the oven and took off the lids. + +"I'm afraid I don't know much about stoves," she told him. "But I'll +trust your judgment. How much is it?" she inquired hesitatingly. + +He ran his hand through his corkscrewed hair, his familiar gesture. + +"Well, I'm willing to let ye have it for twenty-five dollars. If that's +too much--mebbe we can find another." + +"Can you put it in to-morrow morning?" she asked. + +"I can that," he said. She drew out her purse. "Ye needn't be paying +for it all at once," he protested, laying a hand on her arm. "You won't +be running away." + +"Oh, I'd rather--I have the money," she declared hurriedly; and she +turned her back that he might not perceive, when she had extracted the +bills, how little was left in her purse. + +"I'll wager ye won't be wanting another soon," he said, as he escorted +her to the door. And he held it open, politely, looking after her, until +she had crossed the street, calling out a cheerful "Goodnight" that had +in it something of a benediction. She avoided the dining-room and went +straight to bed, in a strange medley of feelings. The self-sacrifice had +brought a certain self-satisfaction not wholly unpleasant. She had been +equal to the situation, and a part of her being approved of this,--a part +which had been suppressed in another mood wherein she had become +convinced that self-realization lay elsewhere. Life was indeed a +bewildering thing.... + +The next morning, at breakfast, though her mother's complaints continued, +Janet was silent as to her purchase, and she lingered on her return home +in the evening because she now felt a reluctance to appear in the role of +protector and preserver of the family. She would have preferred, if +possible, to give the stove anonymously. Not that the expression of +Hannah's gratitude was maudlin; she glared at Janet when she entered the +dining-room and exclaimed: "You hadn't ought to have gone and done it!" + +And Janet retorted, with almost equal vehemence:-- + +"Somebody had to do it--didn't they? Who else was there?" + +"It's a shame for you to spend your money on such things. You'd ought to +save it you'll need it," Hannah continued illogically. + +"It's lucky I had the money," said Janet. + +Both Janet and Hannah knew that these recriminations, from the other, +were the explosive expressions of deep feeling. Janet knew that her +mother was profoundly moved by her sacrifice. She herself was moved by +Hannah's plight, but tenderness and pity were complicated by a renewed +sense of rebellion against an existence that exacted such a situation. + +"I hope the stove's all right, mother," she said. "Mr. Tiernan seemed to +think it was a good one." + +"It's a different thing," declared Hannah. "I was just wondering this +evening, before you came in, how I ever made out to cook anything on the +other. Come and see how nice it looks." + +Janet followed her into the kitchen. As they stood close together gazing +at the new purchase Janet was uncomfortably aware of drops that ran a +little way in the furrows of Hannah's cheeks, stopped, and ran on again. +She seized her apron and clapped it to her face. + +"You hadn't ought to be made to do it!" she sobbed. + +And Janet was suddenly impelled to commit an act rare in their +intercourse. She kissed her, swiftly, on the cheek, and fled from the +room.... + +Supper was an ordeal. Janet did not relish her enthronement as a +heroine, she deplored and even resented her mother's attitude toward her +father, which puzzled her; for the studied cruelty of it seemed to belie +her affection for him. Every act and gesture and speech of Hannah's took +on the complexion of an invidious reference to her reliability as +compared with Edward's worthlessness as a provider; and she contrived in +some sort to make the meal a sacrament in commemoration of her elder +daughter's act. + +"I guess you notice the difference in that pork," she would exclaim, and +when he praised it and attributed its excellence to Janet's gift Hannah +observed: "As long as you ain't got a son, you're lucky to have a +daughter like her!" + +Janet squirmed. Her father's acceptance of his comparative worthlessness +was so abject that her pity was transferred to him, though she scorned +him, as on former occasions, for the self-depreciation that made him +powerless before her mother's reproaches. After the meal was over he sat +listlessly on the sofa, like a visitor whose presence is endured, +pathetically refraining from that occupation in which his soul found +refreshment and peace, the compilation of the Bumpus genealogy. That +evening the papers remained under the lid of the desk in the corner, +untouched. + +What troubled Janet above all, however, was the attitude of Lise, who +also came in for her share of implied reproach. Of late Lise had become +an increased source of anxiety to Hannah, who was unwisely resolved to +make this occasion an object lesson. And though parental tenderness had +often moved her to excuse and defend Lise for an increasing remissness in +failing to contribute to the household expenses, she was now quite +relentless in her efforts to wring from Lise an acknowledgment of the +nobility of her sister's act, of qualities in Janet that she, Lise, might +do well to cultivate. Lise was equally determined to withhold any such +acknowledgment; in her face grew that familiar mutinous look that Hannah +invariably failed to recognize as a danger signal; and with it another-- +the sophisticated expression of one who knows life and ridicules the lack +of such knowledge in others. Its implication was made certain when the +two girls were alone in their bedroom after supper. Lise, feverishly +occupied with her toilet, on her departure broke the silence there by +inquiring:-- + +"Say, if I had your easy money, I might buy a stove, too. How much does +Ditmar give you, sweetheart?" + +Janet, infuriated, flew at her sister. Lise struggled to escape. + +"Leave me go" she whimpered in genuine alarm, and when at length she was +released she went to the mirror and began straightening her hat, which +had flopped to one side of her head. "I didn't mean nothin', I was only +kiddie' you--what's the use of gettin' nutty over a jest?" + +"I'm not like-you," said Janet. + +"I was only kiddin', I tell you," insisted Lise, with a hat pin in her +mouth. "Forget it." + +When Lise had gone out Janet sat down in the rocking-chair and began to +rock agitatedly. What had really made her angry, she began to perceive, +was the realization of a certain amount of truth in her sister's +intimation concerning Ditmar. Why should she have, in Lise, continually +before her eyes a degraded caricature of her own aspirations and ideals? +or was Lise a mirror--somewhat tarnished, indeed--in which she read the +truth about herself? For some time Janet had more than suspected that +her sister possessed a new lover--a lover whom she refrained from +discussing; an ominous sign, since it had been her habit to dangle her +conquests before Janet's eyes, to discuss their merits and demerits with +an engaging though cynical freedom. Although the existence of this +gentleman was based on evidence purely circumstantial, Janet was inclined +to believe him of a type wholly different from his predecessors; and the +fact that his attentions were curiously intermittent and irregular +inclined her to the theory that he was not a resident of Hampton. What +was he like? It revolted her to reflect that he might in some ways +possibly resemble Ditmar. Thus he became the object of a morbid +speculation, especially at such times as this, when Lise attired herself +in her new winter finery and went forth to meet him. Janet, also, had +recently been self-convicted of sharing with Lise the same questionable +tendency toward self-adornment to please the eye of man. The very next +Saturday night after she had indulged in that mad extravagance of the +blue suit, Lise had brought home from the window of The Paris in Faber +Street a hat that had excited the cupidity and admiration of Miss Schuler +and herself, and in front of which they had stood languishing on three +successive evenings. In its acquisition Lise had expended almost the +whole of a week's salary. Its colour was purple, on three sides were +massed drooping lilac feathers, but over the left ear the wide brim was +caught up and held by a crescent of brilliant paste stones. Shortly +after this purchase--the next week, in fact,--The Paris had alluringly +and craftily displayed, for the tempting sum of $6.29, the very cloak +ordained by providence to "go" with the hat. Miss Schuler declared it +would be a crime to fail to take advantage of such an opportunity but the +trouble was that Lise had had to wait for two more pay-days and endure +the suspense arising from the possibility that some young lady of taste +and means might meanwhile become its happy proprietor. Had not the +saleslady been obdurate, Lise would have had it on credit; but she did +succeed, by an initial payment the ensuing Saturday, in having it +withdrawn from public gaze. The second Saturday Lise triumphantly +brought the cloak home; a velvet cloak,--if the eyes could be believed,-- +velvet bordering on plush, with a dark purple ground delicately and +artistically spotted with a lilac to match the hat feathers, and edged +with a material which--if not too impudently examined and no questions +asked--might be mistaken, by the uninitiated male, for the fur of a white +fox. Both investments had been made, needless to say, on the strength of +Janet's increased salary; and Lise, when Janet had surprised her before +the bureau rapturously surveying the combination, justified herself with +a defiant apology. + +"I just had to have something--what with winter coming on," she declared, +seizing the hand mirror in order to view the back. "You might as well +get your clothes chick, while you're about it--and I didn't have to dig +up twenty bones, neither--nor anything like it--" a reflection on Janet's +moest blue suit and her abnormal extravagance. For it was Lise's habit +to carry the war into the enemy's country. "Sadie's dippy about it--says +it puts her in mind of one of the swells snapshotted in last Sunday's +supplement. Well, dearie, how does the effect get you?" and she wheeled +around for her sister's inspection. + +"If you take my advice, you'll be careful not to be caught out in the +rain." + + +"What's chewin' you now?" demanded Lise. She was not lacking in +imagination of a certain sort, and Janet's remark did not fail in its +purpose of summoning up a somwhat abject image of herself in wet velvet +and bedraggled feathers--an image suggestive of a certain hunted type of +woman Lise and her kind held in peculiar horror. And she was the more +resentful because she felt, instinctively, that the memory of this +suggestion would never be completely eradicated: it would persist, like a +canker, to mar the completeness of her enjoyment of these clothes. She +swung on Janet furiously. + +"I get you, all right!" she cried. "I guess I know what's eatin' you! +You've got money to burn and you're sore because I spend mine to buy what +I need. You don't know how to dress yourself any more than one of them +Polak girls in the mills, and you don't want anybody else to look nice." + +And Janet was impelled to make a retort of almost equal crudity:-- + +"If I were a man and saw you in those clothes I wouldn't wait for an +introduction. You asked me what I thought. I don't care about the +money!" she exclaimed passionately. "I've often told you you were pretty +enough without having to wear that kind of thing--to make men stare at +you." + +"I want to know if I don't always look like a lady! And there's no man +living would try to pick me up more than once." The nasal note in Lise's +voice had grown higher and shriller, she was almost weeping with anger. +"You want me to go 'round lookin' like a floorwasher." + +"I'd rather look like a floorwasher than--than another kind of woman," +Janet declared. + +"Well, you've got your wish, sweetheart," said Lise. "You needn't be +scared anybody will pick you up." + +"I'm not," said Janet.... + +This quarrel had taken place a week or so before Janet's purchase of the +stove. Hannah, too, was outraged by Lise's costume, and had also been +moved to protest; futile protest. Its only effect on Lise was to +convince her of the existence of a prearranged plan of persecution, to +make her more secretive and sullen than ever before. + +"Sometimes I just can't believe she's my daughter," Hannah said +dejectedly to Janet when they were alone together in the kitchen after +Lise had gone out. "I'm fond of her because she's my own flesh and +blood--I'm ashamed of it, but I can't help it. I guess it's what the +minister in Dolton used to call a visitation. I suppose I deserve it, +but sometimes I think maybe if your father had been different he might +have been able to put a stop to the way she's going on. She ain't like +any of the Wenches, nor any of the Bumpuses, so far's I'm able to find +out. She just don't seem to have any notion about right and wrong. +Well, the world has got all jumbled up--it beats me." + +Hannah wrung out the mop viciously and hung it over the sink. + +"I used to hope some respectable man would come along, but I've quit +hopin'. I don't know as any respectable man would want Lise, or that I +could honestly wish him to have her." + +"Mother!" protested Janet. Sometimes, in those conversations, she was +somewhat paradoxically impelled to defend her sister. + +"Well, I don't," insisted Hannah, "that's a fact. I'll tell you what she +looks like in that hat and cloak--a bad woman. I don't say she is--I +don't know what I'd do if I thought she was, but I never expected my +daughter to look like one." + +"Oh, Lise can take care of herself," Janet said, in spite of certain +recent misgivings. + +"This town's Sodom and Gomorrah rolled into one," declared Hannah who, +from early habit, was occasionally prone to use scriptural parallels. +And after a moment's silence she inquired: "Who's this man that's payin' +her attention now?" + +"I don't know," replied Janet, "I don't know that there's anybody." + +"I guess there is," said Hannah. "I used to think that that Wiley was +low enough, but I could see him. It was some satisfaction. I could know +the worst, anyhow.... I guess it's about time for another flood." + +This talk had left Janet in one of these introspective states so frequent +in her recent experience. Her mother had used the words "right" and +"wrong." But what was "right," or "wrong?" There was no use asking +Hannah, who--she perceived--was as confused and bewildered as herself. +Did she refuse to encourage Mr. Ditmar because it was wrong? because, if +she acceded to his desires, and what were often her own, she would be +punished in an after life? She was not at all sure whether she believed +in an after life,--a lack of faith that had, of late, sorely troubled her +friend Eda Rawle, who had "got religion" from an itinerant evangelist and +was now working off, in a "live" church, some of the emotional idealism +which is the result of a balked sex instinct in young unmarried women of +a certain mentality and unendowed with good looks. This was not, of +course, Janet's explanation of the change in her friend, of whom she now +saw less and less. They had had arguments, in which neither gained any +ground. For the first time in their intercourse, ideas had come between +them, Eda having developed a surprising self-assertion when her new +convictions were attacked, a dogged loyalty to a scheme of salvation that +Janet found neither inspiring nor convincing. She resented being prayed +for, and an Eda fervent in good works bored her more than ever. Eda was +deeply pained by Janet's increasing avoidance of her company, yet her +heroine-worship persisted. Her continued regard for her friend might +possibly be compared to the attitude of an orthodox Baptist who has +developed a hobby, let us say, for Napoleon Bonaparte. + +Janet was not wholly without remorse. She valued Eda's devotion, she +sincerely regretted the fact, on Eda's account as well as her own, that +it was a devotion of no use to her in the present crisis nor indeed in +any crisis likely to confront her in life: she had felt instinctively +from the first that the friendship was not founded on, mental harmony, +and now it was brought home to her that Eda's solution could never be +hers. Eda would have been thrilled on learning of Ditmar's attentions, +would have advocated the adoption of a campaign leading up to matrimony. +In matrimony, for Eda, the soul was safe. Eda would have been horrified +that Janet should have dallied with any other relationship; God would +punish her. Janet, in her conflict between alternate longing and +repugnance, was not concerned with the laws and retributions of God. She +felt, indeed, the need of counsel, and knew not where to turn for it,-- +the modern need for other than supernatural sanctions. She did not +resist her desire for Ditmar because she believed, in the orthodox sense, +that it was wrong, but because it involved a loss of self-respect, a +surrender of the personality from the very contemplation of which she +shrank. She was a true daughter of her time. + +On Friday afternoon, shortly after Ditmar had begun to dictate his +correspondence, Mr. Holster, the agent of the Clarendon Mill, arrived and +interrupted him. Janet had taken advantage of the opportunity to file +away some answered letters when her attention was distracted from her +work by the conversation, which had gradually grown louder. The two men +were standing by the window, facing one another, in an attitude that +struck her as dramatic. Both were vital figures, dominant types which +had survived and prevailed in that upper world of unrelenting struggle +for supremacy into which, through her relation to Ditmar, she had been +projected, and the significance of which she had now begun to realize. +She surveyed Holster critically. He was short, heavily built, with an +almost grotesque width of shoulder, a muddy complexion, thick lips, and +kinky, greasy black hair that glistened in the sun. His nasal voice was +complaining, yet distinctly aggressive, and he emphasized his words by +gestures. The veins stood out on his forehead. She wondered what his +history had been. She compared him to Ditmar, on whose dust-grey face +she was quick to detect a look she had seen before--a contraction of the +eyes, a tightening of the muscles of the jaw. That look, and the +peculiarly set attitude of the body accompanying it, aroused in her a +responsive sense of championship. + +"All right, Ditmar," she heard the other exclaim. "I tell you again +you'll never be able to pull it off." + +Ditmar's laugh was short, defiant. + +"Why not?" he asked. + +"Why not! Because the fifty-four hour law goes into effect in January." + +"What's that got to do with it?" Ditmar demanded. + +"You'll see--you'll remember what I told you fellows at the conference +after that bill went through and that damned demagogue of a governor +insisted on signing it. I said, if we tried to cut wages down to a +fifty-four hour basis we'd have a strike on our hands in every mill in +Hampton,--didn't I? I said it would cost us millions of dollars, and +make all the other strikes we've had here look like fifty cents. Didn't +I say that? Hammond, our president, backed me up, and Rogers of the wool +people. You remember? You were the man who stood out against it, and +they listened to you, they voted to cut down the pay and say nothing +about it. Wait until those first pay envelopes are opened after that law +goes into effect. You'll see what'll happen! You'll never be able to +fill that Bradlaugh order in God's world." + +"Oh hell," retorted Ditmar, contemptuously. "You're always for lying +down, Holster. Why don't you hand over your mill to the unions and go to +work on a farm? You might as well, if you're going to let the unions run +the state. Why not have socialism right now, and cut out the agony? +When they got the politicians to make the last cut from fifty-six to +fifty-four and we kept on payin' 'em for fifty-six, against my advice, +what happened? Did they thank us? I guess not. Were they contented? +Not on your life. They went right on agitating, throwing scares into the +party conventions and into the House and Senate Committees,--and now it's +fifty-four hours. It'll be fifty in a couple of years, and then we'll +have to scrap our machinery and turn over the trade to the South and +donate our mills to the state for insane asylums." + +"No, if we handle this thing right, we'll have the public on our side. +They're getting sick of the unions now." + +Ditmar went to the desk for a cigar, bit it off, and lighted it. + +"The public!" he exclaimed contemptuously. "A whole lot of good they'll +do us." + +Holster approached him, menacingly, until the two men stood almost +touching, and for a moment it seemed to Janet as if the agent of the +Clarendon were ready to strike Ditmar. She held her breath, her blood +ran faster,--the conflict between these two made an elemental appeal. + +"All right--remember what I say--wait and see where you come out with +that order." Holster's voice trembled with anger. He hesitated, and +left the office abruptly. Ditmar stood gazing after him for a moment and +then, taking his cigar from his mouth, turned and smiled at Janet and +seated himself in his chair. His eyes, still narrowed, had in them a +gleam of triumph that thrilled her. Combat seemed to stimulate and +energize him. + +"He thought he could bluff me into splitting that Bradlaugh order with +the Clarendon," Ditmar exclaimed. "Well, he'll have to guess again. +I've got his number." He began to turn over his letters. "Let's see, +where were we? Tell Caldwell not to let in any more idiots, and shut the +door." + +Janet obeyed, and when she returned Ditmar was making notes with a pencil +on a pad. The conversation with Holter had given her a new idea of +Ditmar's daring in attempting to fill the Bradlaugh order with the +Chippering Mills alone, had aroused in her more strongly than ever that +hot loyalty to the mills with which he had inspired her; and that strange +surge of sympathy, of fellow-feeling for the operatives she had +experienced after the interview with Mr. Siddons, of rebellion against +him, the conviction that she also was one of the slaves he exploited, had +wholly disappeared. Ditmar was the Chippering Mills, and she, somehow, +enlisted once again on his side. + +"By the way," he said abruptly, "you won't mention this--I know." + +"Won't mention what?" she asked. + +"This matter about the pay envelopes--that we don't intend to continue +giving the operatives fifty-six hours' pay for fifty-four when this law +goes into effect. They're like animals, most of 'em, they don't reason, +and it might make trouble if it got out now. You understand. They'd +have time to brood over it, to get the agitators started. When the time +comes they may kick a little, but they'll quiet down. And it'll teach +'em a lesson." + +"I never mention anything I hear in this office," she told him. + +"I know you don't," he assured her, apologetically. "I oughtn't to have +said that--it was only to put you on your guard, in case you heard it +spoken of. You see how important it is, how much trouble an agitator +might make by getting them stirred up? You can see what it means to me, +with this order on my hands. I've staked everything on it." + +"But--when the law goes into effect? when the operatives find out that +they are not receiving their full wages--as Mr. Holster said?" Janet +inquired. + +"Why, they may grumble a little--but I'll be on the lookout for any move. +I'll see to that. I'll teach 'em a lesson as to how far they can push +this business of shorter hours and equal pay. It's the unskilled workers +who are mostly affected, you understand, and they're not organized. If +we can keep out the agitators, we're all right. Even then, I'll show 'em +they can't come in here and exploit my operatives." + +In the mood in which she found herself his self-confidence, his +aggressiveness continued to inspire and even to agitate her, to compel +her to accept his point of view. + +"Why," he continued, "I trust you as I never trusted anybody else. I've +told you that before. Ever since you've been here you've made life a +different thing for me--just by your being here. I don't know what I'd +do without you. You've got so much sense about things--about people,-- +and I sometimes think you've got almost the same feeling about these +mills that I have. You didn't tell me you went through the mills with +Caldwell the other day," he added, accusingly. + +"I--I forgot," said Janet. "Why should I tell--you?" She knew that all +thought of Holster had already slipped from his mind. She did not look +up. "If you're not going to finish your letters," she said, a little +faintly, "I've got some copying to do." + +"You're a deep one," he said. And as he turned to the pile of +correspondence she heard him sigh. He began to dictate. She took down +his sentences automatically, scarcely knowing what she was writing; he +was making love to her as intensely as though his words had been the +absolute expression of his desire instead of the commonplace mediums of +commercial intercourse. Presently he stopped and began fumbling in one +of the drawers of his desk. + +"Where is the memorandum I made last week for Percy and Company?" + +"Isn't it there?" she asked. + +But he continued to fumble, running through the papers and disarranging +them until she could stand it no longer. + +"You never know where to find anything," she declared, rising and darting +around the desk and bending over the drawer, her deft fingers rapidly +separating the papers. She drew forth the memorandum triumphantly. + +"There!" she exclaimed. "It was right before your eyes." + +As she thrust it at him his hand closed over hers. She felt him drawing +her, irresistibly. + +"Janet!" he said. "For God's sake--you're killing me--don't you know it? +I can't stand it any longer!" + +"Don't!" she whispered, terror-stricken, straining away from him. "Mr. +Ditmar--let me go!" + +A silent struggle ensued, she resisting him with all the aroused strength +and fierceness of her nature. He kissed her hair, her neck,--she had +never imagined such a force as this, she felt herself weakening, +welcoming the annihilation of his embrace. + +"Mr. Ditmar!" she cried. "Somebody will come in." + +Her fingers sank into his neck, she tried to hurt him and by a final +effort flung herself free and fled to the other side of the room. + +"You little--wildcat!" she heard him exclaim, saw him put his +handkerchief to his neck where her fingers had been, saw a red stain on +it. "I'll have you yet!" + +But even then, as she stood leaning against the wall, motionless save for +the surging of her breast, there was about her the same strange, feral +inscrutableness. He was baffled, he could not tell what she was +thinking. She seemed, unconquered, to triumph over her disarray and the +agitation of her body. Then, with an involuntary gesture she raised her +hands to her hair, smoothing it, and without seeming haste left the room, +not so much as glancing at him, closing the door behind her. + +She reached her table in the outer office and sat down, gazing out of the +window. The face of the world--the river, the mills, and the bridge--was +changed, tinged with a new and unreal quality. She, too, must be +changed. She wasn't, couldn't be the same person who had entered that +room of Ditmar's earlier in the afternoon! Mr. Caldwell made a +commonplace remark, she heard herself answer him. Her mind was numb, +only her body seemed swept by fire, by emotions--emotions of fear, of +anger, of desire so intense as to make her helpless. And when at length +she reached out for a sheet of carbon paper her hand trembled so she +could scarcely hold it. Only by degrees was she able to get sufficient +control of herself to begin her copying, when she found a certain relief +in action--her hands flying over the keys, tearing off the finished +sheets, and replacing them with others. She did not want to think, to +decide, and yet she knew--something was trying to tell her that the +moment for decision had come. She must leave, now. If she stayed on, +this tremendous adventure she longed for and dreaded was inevitable. +Fear and fascination battled within her. To run away was to deny life; +to remain, to taste and savour it. She had tasted it--was it sweet?-- +that sense of being swept away, engulfed by an elemental power beyond +them both, yet in them both? She felt him drawing her to him, and she +struggling yet inwardly longing to yield. And the scarlet stain on his +handkerchief--when she thought of that her blood throbbed, her face +burned. + +At last the door of the inner office opened, and Ditmar came out and +stood by the rail. His voice was queer, scarcely recognizable. + +"Miss Bumpus--would you mind coming into my room a moment, before you +leave?" he said. + +She rose instantly and followed him, closing the door behind her, but +standing at bay against it, her hand on the knob. + +"I'm not going to touch you--you needn't be afraid," he said. Reassured +by the unsteadiness of his voice she raised her eyes to perceive that his +face was ashy, his manner nervous, apprehensive, conciliatory,--a Ditmar +she had difficulty in recognizing. "I didn't mean to frighten, to offend +you," he went on. "Something got hold of me. I was crazy, I couldn't +help it--I won't do it again, if you'll stay. I give you my word." + +She did not reply. After a pause he began again, repeating himself. + +"I didn't mean to do it. I was carried away--it all happened before I +knew. I--I wouldn't frighten you that way for anything in the world." + +Still she was silent. + +"For God's sake, speak to me!" he cried. "Say you forgive me--give me +another chance!" + +But she continued to gaze at him with widened, enigmatic eyes--whether of +reproach or contempt or anger he could not say. The situation +transcended his experience. He took an uncertain step toward her, as +though half expecting her to flee, and stopped. + +"Listen!" he pleaded. "I can't talk to you here. Won't you give me a +chance to explain--to put myself right? You know what I think of you, +how I respect and--admire you. If you'll only let me see you somewhere-- +anywhere, outside of the office, for a little while, I can't tell you how +much I'd appreciate it. I'm sure you don't understand how I feel--I +couldn't bear to lose you. I'll be down by the canal--near the bridge-- +at eight o'clock to-night. I'll wait for you. You'll come? Say you'll +come, and give me another chance!" + +"Aren't you going to finish your letters?" she asked. + +He stared at her in sheer perplexity. "Letters!" he exclaimed. "Damn +the letters! Do you think I could write any letters now?" + +As a faint ray in dark waters, a gleam seemed to dance in the shadows of +her eyes, yet was gone so swiftly that he could not be sure of having +seen it. Had she smiled? + +"I'll be there," he cried. "I'll wait for you " + +She turned from him, opened the door, and went out. + +That evening, as Janet was wiping the dishes handed her by her mother, +she was repeating to herself "Shall I go--or shan't I?"--just as if the +matter were in doubt. But in her heart she was convinced of its +predetermination by some power other than her own volition. With this +feeling, that she really had no choice, that she was being guided and +impelled, she went to her bedroom after finishing her task. The hands of +the old dining-room clock pointed to quarter of eight, and Lise had +already made her toilet and departed. Janet opened the wardrobe, looked +at the new blue suit hanging so neatly on its wire holder, hesitated, and +closed the door again. Here, at any rate, seemed a choice. She would +not wear that, to-night. She tidied her hair, put on her hat and coat, +and went out; but once in the street she did not hurry, though she knew +the calmness she apparently experienced to be false: the calmness of +fatality, because she was obeying a complicated impulse stronger than +herself--an impulse that at times seemed mere curiosity. Somewhere, +removed from her immediate consciousness, a storm was raging; she was +aware of a disturbance that reached her faintly, like the distant +throbbing of the looms she heard when she turned from Faber into West +Street She had not been able to eat any supper. That throbbing of the +looms in the night! As it grew louder and louder the tension within her +increased, broke its bounds, set her heart to throbbing too--throbbing +wildly. She halted, and went on again, precipitately, but once more +slowed her steps as she came to West Street and the glare of light at the +end of the bridge; at a little distance, under the chequered shadows of +the bare branches, she saw something move--a man, Ditmar. She stood +motionless as he hurried toward her. + +"You've come! You've forgiven me?" he asked. + +"Why were you--down there?" she asked. + +"Why? Because I thought--I thought you wouldn't want anybody to know--" + +It was quite natural that he should not wish to be seen; although she had +no feeling of guilt, she herself did not wish their meeting known. She +resented the subterfuge in him, but she made no comment because his +perplexity, his embarrassment were gratifying to her resentment, were +restoring her self-possession, giving her a sense of power. + +"We can't stay here," he went on, after a moment. "Let's take a little +walk--I've got a lot to say to you. I want to put myself right." He +tried to take her arm, but she avoided him. They started along the canal +in the direction of the Stanley Street bridge. "Don't you care for me a +little?" he demanded. + +"Why should I?" she parried. + +"Then--why did you come?" + +"To hear what you had to say." + +"You mean--about this afternoon?" + +"Partly," said Janet. + +"Well--we'll talk it all over. I wanted to explain about this afternoon, +especially. I'm sorry--" + +"Sorry!" she exclaimed. + +The vehemence of her rebuke--for he recognized it as such--took him +completely aback. Thus she was wont, at the most unexpected moments, to +betray the passion within her, the passion that made him sick with +desire. How was he to conquer a woman of this type, who never took +refuge in the conventional tactics of her sex, as he had known them? + +"I didn't mean that," he explained desperately. "My God--to feel you, to +have you in my arms--! I was sorry because I frightened you. But when +you came near me that way I just couldn't help it. You drove me to it." + +"Drove you to it!" + +"You don't understand, you don't know how--how wonderful you are. You +make me crazy. I love you, I want you as I've never wanted any woman +before--in a different way. I can't explain it. I've got so that I +can't live without you." He flung his arm toward the lights of the +mills. "That--that used to be everything to me, I lived for it. I don't +say I've been a saint--but I never really cared anything about any woman +until I knew you, until that day I went through the office and saw you +what you were. You don't understand, I tell you. I'm sorry for what I +did to-day because it offended you--but you drove me to it. Most of the +time you seem cold, you're like an iceberg, you make me think you hate +me, and then all of a sudden you'll be kind, as you were the other night, +as you seemed this afternoon--you make me think I've got a chance, and +then, when you came near me, when you touched my hand--why, I didn't know +what I was doing. I just had to have you. A man like me can't stand +it." + +"Then I'd better go away," she said. "I ought to have gone long ago." + +"Why?" he cried. "Why? What's your reason? Why do you want to ruin my +life? You've--you've woven yourself into it--you're a part of it. I +never knew what it was to care for a woman before, I tell you. There's +that mill," he repeated, naively. "I've made it the best mill in the +country, I've got the biggest order that ever came to any mill--if you +went away I wouldn't care a continental about it. If you went away I +wouldn't have any ambition left. Because you're a part of it, don't you +see? You--you sort of stand for it now, in my mind. I'm not literary, I +can't express what I'd like to say, but sometimes I used to think of that +mill as a woman--and now you've come along--" Ditmar stopped, for lack of +adequate eloquence. + +She smiled in the darkness at his boyish fervour,--one of the aspects of +the successful Ditmar, the Ditmar of great affairs, that appealed to her +most strongly. She was softened, touched; she felt, too, a responsive +thrill to such a desire as his. Yet she did not reply. She could not. +She was learning that emotion is never simple. And some inhibition, the +identity of which was temporarily obscured still persisted, pervading her +consciousness.... + +They were crossing the bridge at Stanley Street, now deserted, and by +common consent they paused in the middle of it, leaning on the rail. The +hideous chocolate factory on the point was concealed by the night,--only +the lights were there, trembling on the surface of the river. Against +the flushed sky above the city were silhouetted the high chimneys of the +power plant. Ditmar's shoulder touched hers. He was still pleading, but +she seemed rather to be listening to the symphony of the unseen waters +falling over the dam. His words were like that, suggestive of a torrent +into which she longed to fling herself, yet refrained, without knowing +why. Her hands tightened on the rail; suddenly she let it go, and led +the way toward the unfrequented district of the south side. It was the +road to Silliston, but she had forgotten that. Ditmar, regaining her +side, continued his pleading. He spoke of his loneliness, which he had +never realized. He needed her. And she experienced an answering pang. +It still seemed incredible that he, too, who had so much, should feel +that gnawing need for human sympathy and understanding that had so often +made her unhappy. And because of the response his need aroused in her +she did not reflect whether he could fulfil her own need, whether he +could ever understand her; whether, at any time, she could unreservedly +pour herself out to him. + +"I don't see why you want me," she interrupted him at last. "I've never +had any advantages, I don't know anything. I've never had a chance to +learn. I've told you that before." + +"What difference does that make? You've got more sense than any woman I +ever saw," he declared. + +"It makes a great deal of difference to me," she insisted--and the sound +of these words on her own lips was like a summons arousing her from a +dream. The sordidness of her life, its cruel lack of opportunity in +contrast with the gifts she felt to be hers, and on which he had dwelt, +was swept back into her mind. Self-pity, dignity, and inherent self- +respect struggled against her woman's desire to give; an inherited racial +pride whispered that she was worthy of the best, but because she had +lacked the chance, he refrained from offering her what he would have laid +at the feet of another woman. + +"I'll give you advantages--there's nothing I wouldn't give you. Why +won't you come to me? I'll take care of you." + +"Do you think I want to be taken care of?" She wheeled on him so swiftly +that he started back. "Is that what you think I want?" + +"No, no," he protested, when he recovered his speech. + +"Do you think I'm after--what you can give me?" she shot at him. " What +you can buy for me?" + +To tell the truth, he had not thought anything about it, that was the +trouble. And her question, instead of enlightening him, only added to +his confusion and bewilderment. + +"I'm always getting in wrong with you," he told her, pathetically. +"There isn't anything I'd stop at to make you happy, Janet, that's what +I'm trying to say. I'd go the limit." + +"Your limit!" she exclaimed. + +"What do you mean?" he demanded. But she had become inarticulate-- +cryptic, to him. He could get nothing more out of her. + +"You don't understand me--you never will!" she cried, and burst into +tears--tears of rage she tried in vain to control. The world was black +with his ignorance. She hated herself, she hated him. Her sobs shook +her convulsively, and she scarcely heard him as he walked beside her +along the empty road, pleading and clumsily seeking to comfort her. Once +or twice she felt his hand on her shoulders.... And then, unlooked for +and unbidden, pity began to invade her. Absurd to pity him! She fought +against it, but the thought of Ditmar reduced to abjectness gained +ground. After all, he had tried to be generous, he had done his best, he +loved her, he needed her--the words rang in her heart. After all, he did +not realize how could she expect him to realize? and her imagination +conjured up the situation in a new perspective. Her sobs gradually +ceased, and presently she stopped in the middle of the road and regarded +him. He seemed utterly miserable, like a hurt child whom she longed to +comfort. But what she said was:-- + +"I ought to be going home." + +"Not yet!" he begged. "It's early. You say I don't understand you, +Janet--my God, I wish I did! It breaks me all up to see you cry like +that." + +"I'm sorry," she said, after a moment. "I--I can'tmmake you understand. +I guess I'm not like anybody else I'm queer--I can't help it. You must +let me go, I only make you unhappy." + +"Let you go!" he cried--and then in utter self-forgetfulness she yielded +her lips to his. A sound penetrated the night, she drew back from his +arms and stood silhouetted against the glare of the approaching headlight +of a trolley car, and as it came roaring down on them she hailed it. +Ditmar seized her arm. + +"You're not going--now?" he said hoarsely. + +"I must," she whispered. "I want to be alone--I want to think. You must +let me." + +"I'll see you to-morrow?" + +"I don't know--I want to think. I'm--I'm tired." + +The brakes screamed as the car came joltingly to a stop. She flew up the +steps, glancing around to see whether Ditmar had followed her, and saw +him still standing in the road. The car was empty of passengers, but the +conductor must have seen her leaving a man in this lonely spot. She +glanced at his face, white and pinched and apathetic--he must have seen +hundreds of similar episodes in the course of his nightly duties. He was +unmoved as he took her fare. Nevertheless, at the thought that these +other episodes might resemble hers, her face flamed--she grew hot all +over. What should she do now? She could not think. Confused with her +shame was the memory of a delirious joy, yet no sooner would she give +herself up, trembling, to this memory when in turn it was penetrated by +qualms of resentment, defiling its purity. Was Ditmar ashamed of her?... +When she reached home and had got into bed she wept a little, but her +tears were neither of joy nor sorrow. Her capacity for both was +exhausted. In this strange mood she fell asleep nor did she waken when, +at midnight, Lise stealthily crept in beside her. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +Ditmar stood staring after the trolley car that bore Janet away until it +became a tiny speck of light in the distance. Then he started to walk +toward Hampton; in the unwonted exercise was an outlet for the pent-up +energy her departure had thwarted; and presently his body was warm with a +physical heat that found its counterpart in a delicious, emotional glow +of anticipation, of exultant satisfaction. After all, he could not +expect to travel too fast with her. Had he not at least gained a signal +victory? When he remembered her lips--which she had indubitably given +him!--he increased his stride, and in what seemed an incredibly brief +time he had recrossed the bridge, covered the long residential blocks of +Warren Street, and gained his own door. + +The house was quiet, the children having gone to bed, and he groped his +way through the dark parlour to his den, turning on the electric switch, +sinking into an armchair, and lighting a cigar. He liked this room of +his, which still retained something of that flavour of a refuge and +sanctuary it had so eminently possessed in the now forgotten days of +matrimonial conflict. One of the few elements of agreement he had held +in common with the late Mrs. Ditmar was a similarity of taste in +household decoration, and they had gone together to a great emporium in +Boston to choose the furniture and fittings. The lamp in the centre of +the table was a bronze column supporting a hemisphere of heavy red and +emerald glass, the colours woven into an intricate and bizarre design, +after the manner of the art nouveau--so the zealous salesman had informed +them. Cora Ditmar, when exhibiting this lamp to admiring visitors, had +remembered the phrase, though her pronunciation of it, according to the +standard of the Sorbonne, left something to be desired. The table and +chairs, of heavy, shiny oak marvellously and precisely carved by +machines, matched the big panels of the wainscot. The windows were high +in the wall, thus preventing any intrusion from the clothes-yard on which +they looked. The bookcases, protected by leaded panes, held countless +volumes of the fiction from which Cora Ditmar had derived her knowledge +of the great world outside of Hampton, together with certain sets she had +bought, not only as ornaments, but with a praiseworthy view to future +culture,--such as Whitmarsh's Library of the Best Literature. These +volumes, alas, were still uncut; but some of the pages of the novels--if +one cared to open them--were stained with chocolate. The steam radiator +was a decoration in itself, the fireplace set in the red and yellow tiles +that made the hearth. Above the oak mantel, in a gold frame, was a large +coloured print of a Magdalen, doubled up in grief, with a glory of loose, +Titian hair, chosen by Ditmar himself as expressing the nearest possible +artistic representation of his ideal of the female form. Cora Ditmar's +objections on the score of voluptuousness and of insufficient clothing +had been vain. She had recognized no immorality of sentimentality in the +art itself; what she felt, and with some justice, was that this +particular Magdalen was unrepentant, and that Ditmar knew it. And the +picture remained an offence to her as long as she lived. Formerly he had +enjoyed the contemplation of this figure, reminding him, as it did, of +mellowed moments in conquests of the past; suggesting also possibilities +of the future. For he had been quick to discount the attitude of bowed +despair, the sop flung by a sensuous artist to Christian orthodoxy. He +had been sceptical about despair--feminine despair, which could always be +cured by gifts and baubles. But to-night, as he raised his eyes, he felt +a queer sensation marring the ecstatic perfection of his mood. That +quality in the picture which so long had satisfied and entranced him had +now become repellent, an ugly significant reflection of something-- +something in himself he was suddenly eager to repudiate and deny. +It was with a certain amazement that he found himself on his feet with +the picture in his hand, gazing at the empty space where it had hung. +For he had had no apparent intention of obeying that impulse. What +should he do with it? Light the fire and burn it--frame and all? The +frame was an integral part of it. What would his housekeeper say? But +now that he had actually removed it from the wall he could not replace +it, so he opened the closet door and thrust it into a corner among relics +which had found refuge there. He had put his past in the closet; yet the +relief he felt was mingled with the peculiar qualm that follows the +discovery of symptoms never before remarked. Why should this woman have +this extraordinary effect of making him dissatisfied with himself? He +sat down again and tried to review the affair from that first day when he +had surprised in her eyes the flame dwelling in her. She had completely +upset his life, increasingly distracted his mind until now he could +imagine no peace unless he possessed her. Hitherto he had recognized in +his feeling for her nothing but that same desire he had had for other +women, intensified to a degree never before experienced. But this sudden +access of morality--he did not actually define it as such--was +disquieting. And in the feverish, semi-objective survey he was now +making of his emotional tract he was discovering the presence of other +disturbing symptoms such as an unwonted tenderness, a consideration +almost amounting to pity which at times he had vaguely sensed yet never +sought imaginatively to grasp. It bewildered him by hampering a +ruthlessness hitherto absolute. The fierceness of her inflamed his +passion, yet he recognized dimly behind this fierceness an instinct of +selfprotection--and he thought of her in this moment as a struggling bird +that fluttered out of his hands when they were ready to close over her. +So it had been to-night. He might have kept her, prevented her from +taking the car. Yet he had let her go! There came again, utterly to +blot this out, the memory of her lips. + +Even then, there had been something sorrowful in that kiss, a quality he +resented as troubling, a flavour that came to him after the wildness was +spent. What was she struggling against? What was behind her resistance? +She loved him! It had never before occurred to him to enter into the +nature of her feelings, having been so preoccupied with and tortured by +his own. This realization, that she loved him, as it persisted, began to +make him uneasy, though it should, according to all experience, have been +a reason for sheer exultation. He began to see that with her it involved +complications, responsibilities, disclosures, perhaps all of those things +he had formerly avoided and resented in woman. He thought of certain +friends of his who had become tangled up--of one in particular whose bank +account had been powerless to extricate him.... And he was ashamed of +himself. + +In view of the nature of his sex experience, of his habit of applying his +imagination solely to matters of business rather than to affairs of the +heart,--if his previous episodes may be so designated,--his failure to +surmise that a wish for marriage might be at the back of her resistance +is not so surprising as it may seem; he laid down, half smoked, his third +cigar. The suspicion followed swiftly on his recalling to mind her +vehement repudiation of his proffered gifts did he think she wanted what +he could buy for her! She was not purchasable--that way. He ought to +have known it, he hadn't realized what he was saying. But marriage! +Literally it had never occurred to him to image her in a relation he +himself associated with shackles. One of the unconscious causes of his +fascination was just her emancipation from and innocence of that herd- +convention to which most women--even those who lack wedding rings--are +slaves. The force of such an appeal to a man of Ditmar's type must not +be underestimated. And the idea that she, too, might prefer the sanction +of the law, the gilded cage as a popular song which once had taken his +fancy illuminatingly expressed it--seemed utterly incongruous with the +freedom and daring of her spirit, was a sobering shock. Was he prepared +to marry her, if he could obtain her in no other way? The question +demanded a survey of his actual position of which he was at the moment +incapable. There were his children! He had never sought to arrive at +even an approximate estimate of the boy and girl as factors in his life, +to consider his feelings toward them; but now, though he believed himself +a man who gave no weight to social considerations--he had scorned this +tendency in his wife--he was to realize the presence of ambitions for +them. He was young, he was astonishingly successful; he had reason to +think, with his opportunities and the investments he already had made, +that he might some day be moderately rich; and he had at times even +imagined himself in later life as the possessor of one of those elaborate +country places to be glimpsed from the high roads in certain localities, +which the sophisticated are able to recognize as the seats of the +socially ineligible, but which to Ditmar were outward and visible emblems +of success. He liked to think of George as the inheritor of such a +place, as the son of a millionaire, as a "college graduate," as an +influential man of affairs; he liked to imagine Amy as the wife of such +another. In short, Ditmar's wife had left him, as an unconscious legacy, +her aspirations for their children's social prestige.... + +The polished oak grandfather's clock in the hall had struck one before he +went to bed, mentally wearied by an unwonted problem involving, in +addition to self-interest, an element of ethics, of affection not wholly +compounded of desire. + +He slept soundly, however. He was one of those fortunate beings who come +into the world with digestive organs and thyroid glands in that condition +which--so physiologists tell us--makes for a sanguine temperament. And +his course of action, though not decided upon, no longer appeared as a +problem; it differed from a business matter in that it could wait. As +sufficient proof of his liver having rescued him from doubts and qualms +he was able to whistle, as he dressed, and without a tremor of agitation, +the forgotten tune suggested to his consciousness during the unpleasant +reverie of the night before,--"Only a Bird in a Gilded Cage!" It was +Saturday. He ate a hearty breakfast, joked with George and Amy, and +refreshed, glowing with an expectation mingled with just the right amount +of delightful uncertainty that made the great affairs of life a gamble, +yet with the confidence of the conqueror, he walked in sunlight to the +mill. In view of this firm and hopeful tone of his being he found it all +the more surprising, as he reached the canal, to be seized by a +trepidation strong enough to bring perspiration to his forehead. What if +she had gone! He had never thought of that, and he had to admit it would +be just like her. You never could tell what she would do. + +Nodding at Simmons, the watchman, he hurried up the iron-shod stairs, +gained the outer once, and instantly perceived that her chair beside the +window was empty! Caldwell and Mr. Price stood with their heads together +bending over a sheet on which Mr. Price was making calculations. + +"Hasn't Miss Bumpus come yet?" Ditmar demanded. He tried to speak +naturally, casually, but his own voice sounded strange, seemed to strike +the exact note of sickening apprehension that suddenly possessed him. +Both men turned and looked at him in some surprise. + +"Good-morning, Mr. Ditmar," Caldwell said. "Why, yes, she's in your +room." + +"Oh!" said Ditmar. + +"The Boston office has just been calling you--they want to know if you +can't take the nine twenty-two," Caldwell went on. "It's about that +lawsuit. It comes into court Monday morning, and Mr. Sprole is there, +and they say they have to see you. Miss Bumpus has the memorandum." + +Ditmar looked at his watch. + +"Damn it, why didn't they let me know yesterday?" he exclaimed. "I won't +see anybody, Caldwell--not even Orcutt--just now. You understand. I've +got to have a little time to do some letters. I won't be disturbed--by +any one--for half an hour." + +Caldwell nodded. + +"All right, Mr. Ditmar." + +Ditmar went into his office, closing the door behind him. She was +occupied as usual, cutting open the letters and laying them in a pile +with the deftness and rapidity that characterized all she did. + +"Janet!" he exclaimed. + +"There's a message for you from Boston. I've made a note of it," she +replied. + +"I know--Caldwell told me. But I wanted to see you before I went--I had +to see you. I sat up half the night thinking of you, I woke up thinking +of you. Aren't you glad to see me?" + +She dropped the letter opener and stood silent, motionless, awaiting his +approach--a pose so eloquent of the sense of fatality strong in her as to +strike him with apprehension, unused though he was to the appraisal of +inner values. He read, darkly, something of this mystery in her eyes as +they were slowly raised to his, he felt afraid; he was swept again by +those unwonted emotions of pity and tenderness--but when she turned away +her head and he saw the bright spot of colour growing in her cheek, +spreading to her temple, suffusing her throat, when he touched the soft +contour of her arm, his passion conquered.... Still he was acutely +conscious of a resistance within her--not as before, physically directed +against him, but repudiating her own desire. She became limp in his +arms, though making no attempt to escape, and he knew that the essential +self of her he craved still evaded and defied him. And he clung to her +the more desperately--as though by crushing her peradventure he might +capture it. + +"You're hurting me," she said at last, and he let her go, standing by +helplessly while she went through the movements of readjustment +instinctive to women. Even in these he read the existence of the +reservation he was loth to acknowledge. + +"Don't you love me?" he said. + +"I don't know." + +"You do!" he said. "You--you proved it--I know it." + +She went a little away from him, picking up the paper cutter, but it lay +idle in her hand. + +"For God's sake, tell me what's the matter!" he exclaimed. "I can't +stand this. Janet, aren't you happy?" + +She shook her head. + +"Why not? I love you. I--I've never been so happy in my life as I was +this morning. Why aren't you happy--when we love each other?" + +"Because I'm not." + +"Why not? There's nothing I wouldn't do to make you happy--you know +that. Tell me!" + +"You wouldn't understand. I couldn't make you understand." + +"Is it something I've done?" + +"You don't love me," she said. "You only want me. I'm not made that +way, I'm not generous enough, I guess. I've got to have work to do." + +"Work to do! But you'll share my work--it's nothing without you." + +She shook her head. "I knew you couldn't understand. You don't realize +how impossible it is. I don't blame you--I suppose a man can't." + +She was not upbraiding him, she spoke quietly, in a tone almost lifeless, +yet the emotional effect of it was tremendous. + +"But," he began, and stopped, and was swept on again by an impulse that +drowned all caution, all reason. "But you can help me--when we are +married." + +"Married!" she repeated. "You want to marry me?" + +"Yes, yes--I need you." He took her hands, he felt them tremble in his, +her breath came quickly, but her gaze was so intent as seemingly to +penetrate to the depths of him. And despite his man's amazement at her +hesitation now that he had offered her his all, he was moved, disturbed, +ashamed as he had never been in his life. At length, when he could stand +no longer the suspense of this inquisition, he stammered out: "I want you +to be my wife." + +"You've wanted to marry me all along?" she asked. + +"I didn't think, Janet. I was mad about you. I didn't know you." + +"Do you know me now?" + +"That's just it," he cried, with a flash of clairvoyance, "I never will +know you--it's what makes you different from any woman I've ever seen. +You'll marry me?" + +"I'm afraid," she said. "Oh, I've thought over it, and you haven't. A +woman has to think, a man doesn't, so much. And now you're willing to +marry me, if you can't get me any other way." Her hand touched his coat, +checking his protest. "It isn't that I want marriage--what you can give +me--I'm not like that, I've told you so before. But I couldn't live as +your--mistress." + +The word on her lips shocked him a little--but her courage and candour +thrilled him. + +"If I stayed here, it would be found out. I wouldn't let you keep me. +I'd have to have work, you see, or I'd lose my self-respect--it's all +I've got--I'd kill myself." She spoke as calmly as though she were +reviewing the situation objectively. "And then, I've thought that you +might come to believe you really wanted to marry me--you wouldn't realize +what you were doing, or what might happen if we were married. I've tried +to tell you that, too, only you didn't seem to understand what I was +saying. My father's only a gatekeeper, we're poor--poorer than some of +the operatives in the mill, and the people you know here in Hampton +wouldn't understand. Perhaps you think you wouldn't care, but--" she +spoke with more effort, "there are your children. When I've thought of +them, it all seems impossible. I'd make you unhappy--I couldn't bear it, +I wouldn't stay with you. You see, I ought to have gone away long ago." + +Believing, as he did, that marriage was the goal of all women, even of +the best, the immediate capitulation he had expected would have made +matters far less difficult. But these scruples of hers, so startlingly +his own, her disquieting insight into his entire mental process had a +momentary checking effect, summoned up the vague presage of a future that +might become extremely troublesome and complicated. His very reluctance +to discuss with her the problem she had raised warned him that he had +been swept into deep waters. On the other hand, her splendid resistance +appealed to him, enhanced her value. And accustomed as he had been to a +lifelong self-gratification, the thought of being balked in this supreme +desire was not to be borne. Such were the shades of his feeling as he +listened to her. + +"That's nonsense!" he exclaimed, when she had finished. "You're a lady-- +I know all about your family, I remember hearing about it when your +father came here--it's as good as any in New England. What do you +suppose I care, Janet? We love each other--I've got to have you. We'll +be married in the spring, when the rush is over." + +He drew her to him once more, and suddenly, in the ardour of that +embrace, he felt her tenseness suddenly relax--as though, against her +will--and her passion, as she gave her lips, vied with his own. Her +lithe body trembled convulsively, her cheeks were wet as she clung to him +and hid her face in his shoulder. His sensations in the presence of this +thing he had summoned up in her were incomprehensible, surpassing any he +had ever known. It was no longer a woman he held in his arms, the woman +he craved, but something greater, more fearful, the mystery of sorrow and +suffering, of creation and life--of the universe itself. + +"Janet--aren't you happy?" he said again. + +She released herself and smiled at him wistfully through her tears. + +"I don't know. What I feel doesn't seem like happiness. I can't believe +in it, somehow." + +"You must believe in it," he said. + +"I can't,--perhaps I may, later. You'd better go now," she begged. +"You'll miss your train." + +He glanced at the office clock. "Confound it, I have to. Listen! I'll +be back this evening, and I'll get that little car of mine--" + +"No, not to-night--I don't want to go--to-night." + +"Why not?" + +"Not to-night," she repeated. + + Well then, to-morrow. To-morrow's Sunday. Do you know where the Boat +Club is on the River Boulevard? I'll be there, to-morrow morning at ten. +I'd come for you, to your house," he added quickly, "but we don't want +any one to know, yet--do we?" + +She shook her head. + +"We must keep it secret for a while," he said. "Wear your new dress--the +blue one. Good-bye--sweetheart." + +He kissed her again and hurried out of the office.... Boarding the train +just as it was about to start, he settled himself in the back seat of the +smoker, lit a cigar, inhaling deep breaths of the smoke and scarcely +noticing an acquaintance who greeted him from the aisle. Well, he had +done it! He was amazed. He had not intended to propose marriage, and +when he tried to review the circumstances that had led to this he became +confused. But when he asked himself whether indeed he were willing to +pay such a price, to face the revolution marriage--and this marriage in +particular--would mean in his life, the tumult in his blood beat down his +incipient anxieties. Besides, he possessed the kind of mind able to +throw off the consideration of possible consequences, and by the time the +train had slowed down in the darkness of the North Station in Boston all +traces of worry had disappeared. The future would take care of itself. + +For the Bumpus family, supper that evening was an unusually harmonious +meal. Hannah's satisfaction over the new stove had by no means subsided, +and Edward ventured, without reproof, to praise the restored quality of +the pie crust. And in contrast to her usual moroseness and self- +absorption, even Lise was gay--largely because her pet aversion, the +dignified and allegedly amorous Mr. Waiters, floor-walker at the +Bagatelle, had fallen down the length of the narrow stairway leading from +the cashier's cage. She became almost hysterical with glee as she +pictured him lying prone beneath the counter dedicated to lingerie, +draped with various garments from the pile that toppled over on him. +"Ruby Nash picked a brassiere off his whiskers!" Lise shrieked. "She +gave the pile a shove when he landed. He's got her number all right. +But say, it was worth the price of admission to see that old mutt when he +got up, he looked like Santa Claus. All the girls in the floor were +there we nearly split trying to keep from giving him the ha-ha. And Ruby +says, sympathetic, as she brushed him off, `I hope you ain't hurt, Mr. +Waiters.' He was sore! He went around all afternoon with a bunch on his +coco as big as a potato." So vivid was Lise's account of this affair +which apparently she regarded as compensation for many days of drudgery- +that even Hannah laughed, though deploring a choice of language symbolic +of a world she feared and detested. + +"If I talked like you," said Lise, "they wouldn't understand me." + +Janet, too, was momentarily amused, drawn out of that reverie in which +she had dwelt all day, ever since Ditmar had left for Boston. Now she +began to wonder what would happen if she were suddenly to announce "I'm +going to marry Mr. Ditmar." After the first shock of amazement, she +could imagine her father's complete and complacent acceptance of the news +as a vindication of au inherent quality in the Bumpus blood. He would +begin to talk about the family. For, despite what might have been deemed +a somewhat disillusionizing experience, in the depths of his being he +still believed in the Providence who had presided over the perilous +voyage of the Mayflower and the birth of Peregrine White, whose +omniscient mind was peculiarly concerned with the family trees of +Puritans. And what could be a more striking proof of the existence of +this Providence, or a more fitting acknowledgment on his part of the +Bumpus virtues, than that Janet should become the wife of the agent of +the Chippering Mills? Janet smiled. She was amused, too, by the thought +that Lise's envy would be modified by the prospect of a heightened social +status; since Lise, it will be remembered, had her Providence likewise. +Hannah's god was not a Providence, but one deeply skilled in persecution, +in ingenious methods of torture; one who would not hesitate to dangle +baubles before the eyes of his children--only to snatch them away again. +Hannah's pessimism would persist as far as the altar, and beyond! + +On the whole, such was Janet's notion of the Deity, though deep within +her there may have existed a hope that he might be outwitted; that, by +dint of energy and brains, the fair things of life might be obtained +despite a malicious opposition. And she loved Ditmar. This must be love +she felt, this impatience to see him again, this desire to be with him, +this agitation possessing her so utterly that all day long she had dwelt +in an unwonted state like a somnambulism: it must be love, though not +resembling in the least the generally accepted, virginal ideal. She saw +him as he was, crude, powerful, relentless in his desire; his very faults +appealed. His passion had overcome his prudence, he had not intended to +propose, but any shame she felt on this score was put to flight by a +fierce exultation over the fact that she had brought him to her feet, +that he wanted her enough to marry her. It was wonderful to be wanted +like that! But she could not achieve the mental picture of herself as +Ditmar's wife--especially when, later in the evening, she walked up +Warren Street and stood gazing at his house from the opposite pavement. +She simply could not imagine herself living in that house as its +mistress. Notwithstanding the testimony of the movies, such a +Cinderella-like transition was not within the realm of probable facts; +things just didn't happen that way. + +She recalled the awed exclamation of Eda when they had walked together +along Warren Street on that evening in summer: "How would you like to +live there!"--and hot with sudden embarrassment and resentment she had +dragged her friend onward, to the corner. In spite of its size, of the +spaciousness of existence it suggested, the house had not appealed to her +then. Janet did not herself realize or estimate the innate if +undeveloped sense of form she possessed, the artist-instinct that made +her breathless on first beholding Silliston Common. And then the vision +of Silliston had still been bright; but now the light of a slender moon +was as a gossamer silver veil through which she beheld the house, as in a +stage setting, softening and obscuring its lines, lending it qualities of +dignity and glamour that made it seem remote, unreal, unattainable. And +she felt a sudden, overwhelming longing, as though her breast would +burst.... + +Through the drawn blinds the lights in the second storey gleamed yellow. +A dim lamp burned in the deep vestibule, as in a sanctuary. And then, as +though some supernaturally penetrating ray had pierced a square hole in +the lower walls, a glimpse of the interior was revealed to her, of the +living room at the north end of the house. Two figures chased one +another around the centre table--Ditmar's children! Was Ditmar there? +Impelled irresistibly by a curiosity overcoming repugnance and fear, she +went forward slowly across the street, gained the farther pavement, +stepped over the concrete coping, and stood, shivering violently, on the +lawn, feeling like an interloper and a thief, yet held by morbid +fascination. The children continued to romp. The boy was strong and +swift, the girl stout and ungainly in her movements, not mistress of her +body; he caught her and twisted her arm, roughly--Janet could hear her +cries through the window-=when an elderly woman entered, seized him, +struggling with him. He put out his tongue at her, but presently +released his sister, who stood rubbing her arm, her lips moving in +evident recrimination and complaint. The faces of the two were plain +now; the boy resembled Ditmar, but the features of the girl, heavy and +stamped with self-indulgence, were evidently reminiscent of the woman who +had been his wife. Then the shade was pulled down, abruptly; and Janet, +overcome by a sense of horror at her position, took to flight.... + +When, after covering the space of a block she slowed down and tried to +imagine herself as established in that house, the stepmother of those +children, she found it impossible. Despite the fact that her attention +had been focussed so strongly on them, the fringe of her vision had +included their surroundings, the costly furniture, the piano against the +farther wall, the music rack. Evidently the girl was learning to play. +She felt a renewed, intenser bitterness against her own lot: she was +aware of something within her better and finer than the girl, than the +woman who had been her mother had possessed--that in her, Janet, had +lacked the advantages of development. Could it--could it ever be +developed now? Had this love which had come to her brought her any +nearer to the unknown realm of light she craved?... + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +Though December had come, Sunday was like an April day before whose +sunlight the night-mists of scruples and morbid fears were scattered and +dispersed. And Janet, as she fared forth from the Fillmore Street flat, +felt resurging in her the divine recklessness that is the very sap of +life. The future, save of the immediate hours to come, lost its power +over her. The blue and white beauty of the sky proclaimed all things +possible for the strong; and the air was vibrant with the sweet music of +bells, calling her to happiness. She was going to meet happiness, to +meet love--to meet Ditmar! The trolley which she took in Faber Street, +though lagging in its mission, seemed an agent of that happiness as it +left the city behind it and wound along the heights beside the tarvia +roadway above the river, bright glimpses of which she caught through the +openings in the woods. And when she looked out of the window on her +right she beheld on a little forested rise a succession of tiny "camps" +built by residents of Hampton whose modest incomes could not afford more +elaborate summer places; camps of all descriptions and colours, with +queer names that made her smile: "The Cranny," "The Nook," "Snug +Harbour," "Buena Vista,"--of course,--which she thought pretty, though +she did not know its meaning; and another, in German, equally perplexing, +"Klein aber Mein." Though the windows of these places were now boarded +up, though the mosquito netting still clung rather dismally to the +porches, they were mutely suggestive of contentment and domestic joy. + +Scarcely had she alighted from the car at the rendezvous he had +mentioned, beside the now deserted boathouse where in the warm weather +the members of the Hampton Rowing Club disported themselves, when she saw +an automobile approaching--and recognized it as the gay "roadster" Ditmar +had exhibited to her that summer afternoon by the canal; and immediately +Ditmar himself, bringing it to a stop and leaping from it, stood before +her in the sunlight, radiating, as it seemed, more sunlight still. With +his clipped, blond moustache and his straw-coloured hair--as yet but +slightly grey at the temples--he looked a veritable conquering berserker +in his huge coat of golden fur. Never had he appeared to better +advantage. + +"I was waiting for you," he said, "I saw you in the car." Turning to the +automobile, he stripped the tissue paper from a cluster of dark red roses +with the priceless long stems of which Lise used to rave when she worked +in the flower store. And he held the flowers against her suit her new +suit she had worn for this meeting. + +"Oh," she cried, taking a deep, intoxicating breath of their fragrance. +"You brought these--for me?" + +"From Boston--my beauty!" + +"But I can't wear all of them!" + +"Why not?" he demanded. "Haven't you a pin?" + +She produced one, attaching them with a gesture that seemed habitual, +though the thought of their valuerevealing in some degree her own worth +in his eyes-unnerved her. She was warmly conscious of his gaze. Then he +turned, and opening a compartment at the back of the car drew from it a +bright tweed motor coat warmly lined. + +"Oh, no!" she protested, drawing back. "I'll--I'll be warm enough." But +laughingly, triumphantly, he seized her and thrust her arms in the +sleeves, his fingers pressing against her. Overcome by shyness, she drew +away from him. + +"I made a pretty good guess at the size--didn't I, Janet?" he cried, +delightedly surveying her. "I couldn't forget it!" His glance grew more +concentrated, warmer, penetrating. + +"You mustn't look at me like that!" she pleaded with lowered eyes. + +"Why not--you're mine--aren't you? You're mine, now." + +"I don't know. There are lots of things I want to talk about," she +replied, but her protest sounded feeble, unconvincing, even to herself. +He fairly lifted her into the automobile--it was a caress, only tempered +by the semipublicity of the place. He was giving her no time to think-- +but she did not want to, think. Starting the engine, he got in and +leaned toward her. + +"Not here!" she exclaimed. + +"All right--I'll wait," he agreed, tucking the robe about her deftly, +solicitously, and she sank back against the seat, surrendering herself to +the luxury, the wonder of being cherished, the caressing and sheltering +warmth she felt of security and love, the sense of emancipation from +discontent and sordidness and struggle. For a moment she closed her +eyes, but opened them again to behold the transformed image of herself +reflected in the windshield to confirm the illusion--if indeed it were +one! The tweed coat seemed startlingly white in the sunlight, and the +woman she saw, yet recognized as herself, was one of the fortunately +placed of the earth with power and beauty at her command! And she could +no longer imagine herself as the same person who the night before had +stood in front of the house in Warren Street. The car was speeding over +the smooth surface of the boulevard; the swift motion, which seemed to +her like that of flying, the sparkling air, the brightness of the day, +the pressure of Ditmar's shoulder against hers, thrilled her. She +marvelled at his sure command over the machine, that responded like a +live thing to his touch. On the wide, straight stretches it went at a +mad pace that took her breath, and again, in turning a corner or passing +another car, it slowed down, purring in meek obedience. Once she gasped: +"Not so fast! I can't stand it." + +He laughed and obeyed her. They glided between river and sky across the +delicate fabric of a bridge which but a moment before she had seen in the +distance. Running through the little village on the farther bank, they +left the river. + +"Where are you going?" she asked. + +"Oh, for a little spin," he answered indulgently, turning into a side +road that wound through the woods and suddenly stopping. "Janet, we've +got this day--this whole day to ourselves." He seized and drew her to +him, and she yielded dizzily, repaying the passion of his kiss, forgetful +of past and future while he held her, whispering brokenly endearing +phrases. + +"You'll ruin my roses," she protested breathlessly, at last, when it +seemed that she could no longer bear this embrace, nor the pressure of +his lips. "There! you see you're crushing them!" She undid them, and +buttoning the coat, held them to her face. Their odour made her faint: +her eyes were clouded. + +"Listen, Claude!" she said at last,--it was the first time she had called +him so--getting free. "You must be sensible! some one might come along." + +"I'll never get enough of you!" he said. "I can't believe it yet." And +added irrelevantly: "Pin the roses outside." + +She shook her head. Something in her protested against this too public +advertisement of their love. + +"I'd rather hold them," she answered. "Let's go on." He started the car +again. "Listen, I want to talk to you, seriously. I've been thinking." + +"Don't I know you've been thinking!" he told her exuberantly. "If I +could only find out what's always going on in that little head of yours! +If you keep on thinking you'll dry up, like a New England school-marm. +And now do you know what you are? One of those dusky red roses just +ready to bloom. Some day I'll buy enough to smother you in 'em." + +"Listen!" she repeated, making a great effort to calm herself, to regain +something of that frame of mind in which their love had assumed the +proportions of folly and madness, to summon up the scruples which, before +she had left home that morning, she had resolved to lay before him, which +she knew would return when she could be alone again. "I have to think-- +you won't," she exclaimed, with a fleeting smile. + +"Well, what is it?" he assented. "You might as well get it off now." + +And it took all her strength to say: "I don't see how I can marry you. +I've told you the reasons. You're rich, and you have friends who +wouldn't understand--and your children--they wouldn't understand. I--I'm +nothing, I know it isn't right, I know you wouldn't be happy. I've never +lived--in the kind of house you live in and known the kind of people you +know, I shouldn't know what to do." + +He took his eyes off the road and glanced down at her curiously. His +smile was self-confident, exultant. + +"Now do you feel better--you little Puritan?" he said. + +And perforce she smiled in return, a pucker appearing between her +eyebrows. + +"I mean it," she said. "I came out to tell you so. I know--it just +isn't possible." + +"I'd marry you to-day if I could get a license," he declared. "Why, +you're worth any woman in America, I don't care who she is, or how much +money she has." + +In spite of herself she was absurdly pleased. + +"Now that is over, we won't discuss it again, do you understand? I've +got you," he said, "and I mean to hold on to you." + +She sighed. He was driving slowly now along the sandy road, and with his +hand on hers she simply could not think. The spell of his nearness, of +his touch, which all nature that morning conspired to deepen, was too +powerful to be broken, and something was calling to her, "Take this day, +take this day," drowning out the other voice demanding an accounting. +She was living--what did it all matter? She yielded herself to the +witchery of the hour, the sheer delight of forthfaring into the unknown. + +They turned away from the river, crossing the hills of a rolling country +now open, now wooded, passing white farmhouses and red barns, and +ancient, weather-beaten dwellings with hipped roofs and "lean-tos" which +had been there in colonial days when the road was a bridle-path. Cows +and horses stood gazing at them from warm paddocks, where the rich, black +mud glistened, melted by the sun; chickens scratched and clucked in the +barnyards or flew frantically across the road, sometimes within an ace of +destruction. Janet flinched, but Ditmar would laugh, gleefully, +boyishly. + +"We nearly got that one!" he would exclaim. And then he had to assure +her that he wouldn't run over them. + +"I haven't run over one yet,--have I?" he would demand. + +"No, but you will, it's only luck." + +"Luck!" he cried derisively. "Skill! I wish I had a dollar for every +one I got when I was learning to drive. There was a farmer over here in +Chester--" and he proceeded to relate how he had had to pay for two +turkeys. "He got my number, the old hayseed, he was laying for me, and +the next time I went back that way he held me up for five dollars. I can +remember the time when a man in a motor was an easy mark for every reuben +in the county. They got rich on us." + +She responded to his mood, which was wholly irresponsible, exuberant, and +they laughed together like children, every little incident assuming an +aspect irresistibly humorous. Once he stopped to ask an old man standing +in his dooryard how far it was to Kingsbury. + +"Wal, mebbe it's two mile, they mostly call it two," said the patriarch, +after due reflection, gathering his beard in his band. "Mebbe it's +more." His upper lip was blue, shaven, prehensile. + +"What did you ask him for, when you know?" said Janet, mirthfully, when +they had gone on, and Ditmar was imitating him. Ditmar's reply was to +wink at her. Presently they saw another figure on the road. + +"Let's see what he'll say," Ditmar proposed. This man was young, the +colour of mahogany, with glistening black hair and glistening black eyes +that regarded the too palpable joyousness of their holiday humour in mute +surprise. + +"I no know--stranger," he said. + +"No speaka Portugueso?" inquired Ditmar, gravely. + +"The country is getting filthy with foreigners," he observed, when he had +started the car. "I went down to Plymouth last summer to see the old +rock, and by George, it seemed as if there wasn't anybody could speak +American on the whole cape. All the Portuguese islands are dumped there- +-cranberry pickers, you know." + +"I didn't know that," said Janet. + +"Sure thing!" he exclaimed. "And when I got there, what do you think? +there was hardly enough of the old stone left to stand on, and that had a +fence around it like an exhibit in an exposition. It had all been +chipped away by souvenir hunters." + +She gazed at him incredulously. + +"You don't believe me! I'll take you down there sometime. And another +thing, the rock's high and dry--up on the land. I said to Charlie Crane, +who was with me, that it must have been a peach of a jump for old Miles +Standish and Priscilla what's her name." + +"How I'd love to see the ocean again!" Janet exclaimed. + +"Why, I'll take you--as often as you like," he promised. "We'll go out +on it in summer, up to Maine, or down to the Cape." + +Her enchantment was now so great that nothing seemed impossible. + +"And we'll go down to Plymouth, too, some Sunday soon, if this weather +keeps up. If we start early enough we can get there for lunch, easy. +We'll see the rock. I guess some of your ancestors must have come over +with that Mayflower outfit--first cabin, eh? You look like it." + +Janet laughed. "It's a joke on them, if they did. I wonder what they'd +think of Hampton, if they could see it now. I counted up once, just to +tease father--he's the seventh generation from Ebenezer Bumpus, who came +to Dolton. Well, I proved to him he might have one hundred and twenty- +six other ancestors besides Ebenezer and his wife." + +"That must have jarred him some," was Ditmar's comment. "Great old man, +your father. I've talked to him--he's a regular historical society all +by himself. Well, there must be something in it, this family business. +Now, you can tell he comes from fine old American stock-he looks it." + +Janet flushed. "A lot of good it does!" she exclaimed. + +"I don't know," said Ditmar. "It's something to fall back on--a good +deal. And he hasn't got any of that nonsense in his head about labour +unions--he's a straight American. And you look the part," he added. +"You remind me--I never thought of it until now--you remind me of a +picture of Priscilla I saw once in a book of poems Longfellow's, you +know. I'm not much on literature, but I remember that, and I remember +thinking she could have me. Funny isn't it, that you should have come +along? But you've got more ginger than the woman in that picture. I'm +the only man that ever guessed it isn't that so?" he asked jealously. + +"You're wonderful!" retorted Janet, daringly. + +"You just bet I am, or I couldn't have landed you," he asserted. "You're +chock full of ginger, but it's been all corked up. You're so prim-so +Priscilla." He was immensely pleased with the adjective he had coined, +repeating it. "It's a great combination. When I think of it, I want to +shake you, to squeeze you until you scream." + +"Then please don't think of it," she said. + +"That's easy!" he exclaimed, mockingly. + +At a quarter to one they entered a sleepy village reminiscent of a New +England of other days. The long street, deeply shaded in summer, was +bordered by decorous homes, some of which had stood there for a century +and a half; others were of the Mansard period. The high school, of +strawberry-coloured brick, had been the pride and glory of the Kingsbury +of the '70s: there were many churches, some graceful and some hideous. +At the end of the street they came upon a common, surrounded by stone +posts and a railing, with a monument in the middle of it, and facing the +common on the north side was a rambling edifice with many white gables, +in front of which, from an iron arm on a post, swung a quaint sign, +"Kingsbury Tavern." In revolutionary and coaching days the place bad +been a famous inn; and now, thanks to the enterprise of a man who had +foreseen the possibilities of an era of automobiles, it had become even +more famous. A score of these modern vehicles were drawn up before it +under the bare, ancient elms; there was a scene of animation on the long +porch, where guests strolled up and down or sat in groups in the rocking- +chairs which the mild weather had brought forth again. Ditmar drew up in +line with the other motors, and stopped. + +"Well, here we are!" he exclaimed, as he pulled off his gauntlets. "I +guess I could get along with something to eat. How about you? They +treat you as well here as any place I know of in New England." + +He assumed their lunching together at a public place as a matter of +course to which there could not possibly be an objection, springing out +of the car, removing the laprobe from her knees, and helping her to +alight. She laid the roses on the seat. + +"Aren't you going to bring them along?" he demanded. + +"I'd rather not," she said. "Don't you think they'll be safe here?" + +"Oh, I guess so," he replied. She was always surprising him; but her +solicitation concerning them was a balm, and he found all such +instinctive acts refreshing. + +"Afraid of putting up too much of a front, are you?" he asked smilingly. + +"I'd rather leave them here," she replied. As she walked beside Ditmar +to the door she was excited, unwontedly self-conscious, painfully aware +of inspection by the groups on the porch. She had seen such people as +these hurrying in automobiles through the ugliness of Faber Street in +Hampton toward just such delectable spots as this village of Kingsbury-- +people of that world of freedom and privilege from which she was +excluded; Ditmar's world. He was at home here. But she? The delusion +that she somehow had been miraculously snatched up into it was marred by +their glances. What were they thinking of her? Her face was hot as she +passed them and entered the hall, where more people were gathered. But +Ditmar's complacency, his ease and self-confidence, his manner of owning +the place, as it were, somewhat reassured her. He went up to the desk, +behind which, stood a burly, red-complexioned man who greeted him +effusively, yet with the air of respect accorded the powerful. + +"Hullo, Eddie," said Ditmar. "You've got a good crowd here to-day. Any +room for me?" + +"Sure, Mr. Ditmar, we can always make room for you. Well, I haven't laid +eyes on you for a dog's age. Only last Sunday Mr. Crane was here, and I +was asking him where you'd been keeping yourself." + +"Why, I've been busy, Eddie. I've landed the biggest order ever heard of +in Hampton. Some of us have to work, you know; all you've got to do is +to loaf around this place and smoke cigars and rake in the money." + +The proprietor of the Kingsbury Tavern smiled indulgently at this +persiflage. + +"Let me present you to Miss Bumpus," said Ditmar. "This is my friend, +Eddie Hale," he added, for Janet's benefit. "And when you've eaten his +dinner you'll believe me when I say he's got all the other hotel men +beaten a mile." + +Janet smiled and flushed. She had been aware of Mr. Hale's discreet +glance. + +"Pleased to meet you, Miss Bumpus," he said, with a somewhat elaborate +bow. + +"Eddie," said Ditmar, "have you got a nice little table for us?" + +"It's a pity I didn't know you was coming, but I'll do my best," declared +Mr. Hale, opening the door in the counter. + +"Oh, I guess you can fix us all right, if you want to, Eddie." + +"Mr. Ditmar's a great josher," Mr. Hale told Janet confidentially as he +escorted them into the dining-room. And Ditmar, gazing around over the +heads of the diners, spied in an alcove by a window a little table with +tilted chairs. + +"That one'll do," he said. + +"I'm sorry, but it's engaged," apologized Mr. Hale. + +"Forget it, Eddie--tell 'em they're late," said Ditmar, making his way +toward it. + +The proprietor pulled out Janet's chair. + +"Say," he remarked, "it's no wonder you get along in business." + +"Well, this is cosy, isn't it?" - said Ditmar to Janet when they were +alone. He handed her the menu, and snapped his fingers for a waitress. + +"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to this place?" she asked. + +"I wanted to surprise you. Don't you like it?" + +"Yes," she replied. "Only--" + +"Only, what?" + +"I wish you wouldn't look at me like that--here." + +"All right. I'll try to be good until we get into the car again. You +watch me! I'll behave as if we'd been married ten years." + +He snapped his fingers again, and the waitress hurried up to take their +orders. + +"Kingsbury's still dry, I guess," he said to the girl, who smiled +sympathetically, somewhat ruefully. When she had gone he began to talk +to Janet about the folly, in general, of prohibition, the fusel oil +distributed on the sly. "I'll bet I could go out and find half a dozen +rum shops within a mile of here!" he declared. + +Janet did not doubt it. Ditmar's aplomb, his faculty of getting what he +wanted, had amused and distracted her. She was growing calmer, able to +scrutinize, at first covertly and then more boldly the people at the +other tables, only to discover that she and Ditmar were not the objects +of the universal curiosity she had feared. Once in a while, indeed, she +encountered and then avoided the glance of some man, felt the admiration +in it, was thrilled a little, and her sense of exhilaration returned as +she regained her poise. She must be nice looking--more than that--in her +new suit. On entering the tavern she had taken off the tweed coat, which +Ditmar had carried and laid on a chair. This new and amazing adventure +began to go to her head like wine.... + +When luncheon was over they sat in a sunny corner of the porch while +Ditmar smoked his cigar. His digestion was good, his spirits high, his +love-making--on account of the public nature of the place--surreptitious +yet fervent. The glamour to which Janet had yielded herself was on +occasions slightly troubled by some new and enigmatic element to be +detected in his voice and glances suggestive of intentions vaguely +disquieting. At last she said: + +"Oughtn't we to be going home?" + +"Home!" he ridiculed the notion. "I'm going to take you to the prettiest +road you ever saw--around by French's Lower Falls. I only wish it was +summer." + +"I must be home before dark," she told him. "You see, the family don't +know where I am. I haven't said anything to them about--about this." + +"That's right," he said, after a moment's hesitation: + +"I didn't think you would. There's plenty of time for that--after things +get settled a little--isn't there?" + +She thought his look a little odd, but the impression passed as they +walked to the motor. He insisted now on her pinning the roses on the +tweed coat, and she humoured him. The winter sun had already begun to +drop, and with the levelling rays the bare hillsides, yellow and brown in +the higher light, were suffused with pink; little by little, as the sun +fell lower, imperceptible clouds whitened the blue cambric of the sky, +distant copses were stained lilac. And Janet, as she gazed, wondered at +a world that held at once so much beauty, so much joy and sorrow,--such +strange sorrow as began to invade her now, not personal, but cosmic. At +times it seemed almost to suffocate her; she drew in deep breaths of air: +it was the essence of all things--of the man by her side, of herself, of +the beauty so poignantly revealed to her. + +Gradually Ditmar became conscious of this detachment, this new evidence +of an extraordinary faculty of escaping him that seemed unimpaired. +Constantly he tried by leaning closer to her, by reaching out his hand, +to reassure himself that she was at least physically present. And though +she did not resent these tokens, submitting passively, he grew perplexed +and troubled; his optimistic atheism concerning things unseen was +actually shaken by the impression she conveyed of beholding realities +hidden from him. Shadows had begun to gather in the forest, filmy mists +to creep over the waters. He asked if she were cold, and she shook her +head and sighed as one coming out of a trance, smiling at him. + +"It's been a wonderful day!" she said. + +"The greatest ever!" he agreed. And his ardour, mounting again, swept +away the unwonted mood of tenderness and awe she had inspired in him, +made him bold to suggest the plan which had been the subject of an +ecstatic contemplation. + +"I'll tell you what we'll do," he said, "we'll take a little run down to +Boston and have dinner together. We'll be there in an hour, and back by +ten o'clock." + +"To Boston!" she repeated. "Now?" + +"Why not?" he said, stopping the car. "Here's the road--it's a boulevard +all the way." + +It was not so much the proposal as the passion in his voice, in his +touch, the passion to which she felt herself responding that filled her +with apprehension and dismay, and yet aroused her pride and anger. + +"I told you I had to be home," she said. + +"I'll have you home by ten o'clock; I promise. We're going to be +married, Janet," he whispered. + +"Oh, if you meant to marry me you wouldn't ask me to do this!" she cried. +"I want to go back to Hampton. If you won't take me, I'll walk." + +She had drawn away from him, and her hand was on the door. He seized her +arm. + +"For God's sake, don't take it that way!" he cried, in genuine alarm. +"All I meant was--that we'd have a nice little dinner. I couldn't bear +to leave you, it'll be a whole week before we get another day. Do you +suppose I'd--I'd do anything to insult you, Janet?" + +With her fingers still tightened over the door-catch she turned and +looked at him. + +"I don't know," she said slowly. "Sometimes I think you would. Why +shouldn't you? Why should you marry me? Why shouldn't you try to do +with me what you've done with other women? I don't know anything about +the world, about life. I'm nobody. Why shouldn't you?" + +"Because you're not like the other women--that's why. I love you--won't +you believe it?" He was beside himself with anxiety. "Listen--I'll take +you home if you want to go. You don't know how it hurts me to have you +think such things!" + +"Well, then, take me home," she said. It was but gradually that she +became pacified. A struggle was going on within her between these doubts +of him he had stirred up again and other feelings aroused by his +pleadings. Night fell, and when they reached the Silliston road the +lights of Hampton shone below them in the darkness. + +"You'd better let me out here," she said. "You can't drive me home." + +He brought the car to a halt beside one of the small wooden shelters +built for the convenience of passengers. + +"You forgive me--you understand, Janet?" he asked. + +"Sometimes I don't know what to think," she said, and suddenly clung to +him. "I--I forgive you. I oughtn't to suspect such things, but I'm like +that. I'm horrid and I can't help it." She began to unbutton the coat +he had bought for her. + +"Aren't you going to take it?" he said. "It's yours." + +"And what do you suppose my family would say if I told them Mr. Ditmar +had given it to me?" + +"Come on, I'll drive you home, I'll tell them I gave it to you, that +we're going to be married," he announced recklessly. + +"Oh, no!" she exclaimed in consternation. "You couldn't. You said so +yourself--that you didn't want, any one to know, now. I'll get on the +trolley." + +"And the roses?" he asked. + +She pressed them to her face, and chose one. "I'll take this," she said, +laying the rest on the seat.... + +He waited until he saw her safely on the trolley car, and then drove +slowly homeward in a state of amazement. He had been on the verge of +announcing himself to the family in Fillmore Street as her prospective +husband! He tried to imagine what that household was like; and again he +found himself wondering why she had not consented to his proposal. And +the ever-recurring question presented itselfwas he prepared to go that +length? He didn't know. She was beyond him, he had no clew to her, she +was to him as mysterious as a symphony. Certain strains of her moved him +intensely--the rest was beyond his grasp.... At supper, while his +children talked and laughed boisterously, he sat silent, restless, and in +spite of their presence the house seemed appallingly empty. + +When Janet returned home she ran to her bedroom, and taking from the +wardrobe the tissue paper that had come with her new dress, and which she +had carefully folded, she wrapped the rose in it, and put it away in the +back of a drawer. Thus smothered, its fragrance stifled, it seemed +emblematic, somehow, of the clandestine nature of her love.... + +The weeks that immediately followed were strange ones. All the elements +of life that previously had been realities, trivial yet fundamental, her +work, her home, her intercourse with the family, became fantastic. There +was the mill to which she went every day: she recognized it, yet it was +not the same mill, nor was Fillmore Street the Fillmore Street of old. +Nor did the new and feverish existence over whose borderland she had been +transported seem real, save in certain hours she spent in Ditmar's +company, when he made her forget--hers being a temperament to feel the +weight of an unnatural secrecy. She was aware, for instance, that her +mother and even her father thought her conduct odd, were anxious as to +her absences on certain nights and on Sundays. She offered no +explanation. It was impossible. She understood that the reason why they +refrained from questioning her was due to a faith in her integrity as +well as to a respect for her as a breadwinner who lead earned a right to +independence. And while her suspicion of Hannah's anxiety troubled her, +on the occasions when she thought of it, Lise's attitude disturbed her +even more. From Lise she had been prepared for suspicion, arraignment, +ridicule. What a vindication if it were disclosed that she, Janet, had a +lover--and that lover Ditmar! But Lise said nothing. She was remote, +self-absorbed. Hannah spoke about it on the evenings Janet stayed at +home. + +She would not consent to meet Ditmar every evening. Yet, as the days +succeeded one another, Janet was often astonished by the fact that their +love remained apparently unsuspected by Mr. Price and Caldwell and others +in the office. They must have noticed, on some occasions, the manner in +which Ditmar looked at her; and in business hours she had continually to +caution him, to keep him in check. Again, on the evening excursions to +which she consented, though they were careful to meet in unfrequented +spots, someone might easily have recognized him; and she did not like to +ponder over the number of young women in the other offices who knew her +by sight. These reflections weighed upon her, particularly when she +seemed conscious of curious glances. But what caused her the most +concern was the constantly recurring pressure to which Ditmar himself +subjected her, and which, as time went on, she found increasingly +difficult to resist. He tried to take her by storm, and when this method +failed, resorted to pleadings and supplications even harder to deny +because of the innate feminine pity she felt for him. To recount these +affairs would be a mere repetition of identical occurrences. On their +second Sunday excursion he had actually driven her, despite her +opposition, several miles on the Boston road; and her resistance only +served to inflame him the more. It seemed, afterwards, as she sat +unnerved, a miracle that she had stopped him. Then came reproaches: she +would not trust him; they could not be married at once; she must +understand that!--an argument so repugnant as to cause her to shake with +sobs of inarticulate anger. After this he would grow bewildered, then +repentant, then contrite. In contrition--had he known it--he was nearest +to victory. + +As has been said, she did not intellectualize her reasons, but the core +of her resistance was the very essence of an individuality having its +roots in a self-respecting and self-controlling inheritance--an element +wanting in her sister Lise. It must have been largely the thought of +Lise, the spectacle of Lise--often perhaps unconsciously present that +dominated her conduct; yet reinforcing such an ancestral sentiment was +another, environmental and more complicated, the result in our modern +atmosphere of an undefined feminism apt to reveal itself in many +undesirable ways, but which in reality is a logical projection of the +American tradition of liberty. To submit was not only to lose her +liberty, to become a dependent, but also and inevitably, she thought, to +lose Ditmar's love.... + +No experience, however, is emotionally continuous, nor was their intimacy +by any means wholly on this plane of conflict. There were hours when, +Ditmar's passion leaving spent itself, they achieved comradeship, in the +office and out of it; revelations for Janet when he talked of himself, +relating the little incidents she found most illuminating. And thus by +degrees she was able to build up a new and truer estimate of him. For +example, she began to perceive that his life outside of his interest in +the mills, instead of being the romance of privileged joys she had once +imagined, had been almost as empty as her own, without either unity or +direction. Her perception was none the less keen because definite terms +were wanting for its expression. The idea of him that first had +captivated her was that of an energized and focussed character +controlling with a sure hand the fortunes of a great organization; of a +power in the city and state, of a being who, in his leisure moments, +dwelt in a delectable realm from which she was excluded. She was still +acutely conscious of his force, but what she now felt was its lack of +direction--save for the portion that drove the Chippering Mills. The +rest of it, like the river, flowed away on the line of least resistance +to the sea. + +As was quite natural, this gradual discovery of what he was--or of what +he wasn't--this truer estimate, this partial disillusionment, merely +served to deepen and intensify the feeling he had aroused in her; to +heighten, likewise, the sense of her own value by confirming a belief in +her possession of certain qualities, of a kind of fibre he needed in a +helpmate. She dwelt with a woman's fascination upon the prospect of +exercising a creative influence--even while she acknowledged the fearful +possibility of his power in unguarded moments to overwhelm and destroy +her. Here was another incentive to resist the gusts of his passion. She +could guide and develop him by helping and improving herself. Hope and +ambition throbbed within her, she felt a contempt for his wife, for the +women who had been her predecessors. He had not spoken of these, save +once or twice by implication, but with what may seem a surprising +leniency she regarded them as consequences of a life lacking in content. +If only she could keep her head, she might supply that content, and bring +him happiness! The thought of his children troubled her most, but she +was quick to perceive that he got nothing from them; and even though it +were partly his own fault, she was inclined to lay the heavier blame on +the woman who had been their mother. The triviality, the emptiness of +his existence outside of the walls of the mill made her heart beat with +pure pity. For she could understand it. + +One of the many, and often humorous, incidents that served to bring about +this realization of a former aimlessness happened on their second Sunday +excursion. This time he had not chosen the Kingsbury Tavern, but another +automobilists' haunt, an enlightening indication of established habits +involving a wide choice of resorts. While he was paying for luncheon and +chatting with the proprietor, Ditmar snatched from the change he had +flung down on the counter a five dollar gold coin. + +"Now how in thunder did that get into my right-hand pocket? I always +keep it in my vest," he exclaimed; and the matter continued to disturb +him after they were in the automobile. "It's my lucky piece. I guess I +was so excited at the prospect of seeing you when I dressed this morning +I put it into my change. Just see what you do to me!" + +"Does it bring you luck?" she inquired smilingly. + +"How about you! I call you the biggest piece of luck I ever had." + +"You'd better not be too sure," she warned him. + +"Oh, I'm not worrying. I has that piece in my pocket the day I went down +to see old Stephen Chippering, when he made me agent, and I've kept it +ever since. And I'll tell you a funny thing--it's enough to make any man +believe in luck. Do you remember that day last summer I was tinkering +with the car by the canal and you came along?" + +"The day you pretended to be tinkering," she corrected him. + +He laughed. "So you were on to me?" he said. "You're a foxy one!" + +"Anyone could see you were only pretending. It made me angry, when I +thought of it afterwards." + +"I just had to do it--I wanted to talk to you. But listen to what I'm +going to tell you! It's a miracle, all right,--happening just at that +time--that very morning. I was coming back to Boston from New York on +the midnight, and when the train ran into Back Bay and I was putting on +my trousers the piece rolled out among the bed clothes. I didn't know +I'd lost it until I sat down in the Parker House to eat my breakfast, and +I suddenly felt in my pocket. It made me sick to think it was gone. +Well, I started to telephone the Pullman office, and then I made up my +mind I'd take a taxi and go down to the South Station myself, and just as +I got out of the cab there was the nigger porter, all dressed up in his +glad rags, coming out of the station! I knew him, I'd been on his car +lots of times. `Say, George,' I said, `I didn't forget you this morning, +did I?' + +"`No, suh,' said George, 'you done give me a quarter.' + +"`I guess you're mistaken, George,' says I, and I fished out a ten dollar +bill. You ought to have seen that nigger's eyes." + +"`What's this for, Mister Ditmar?' says he. + +"`For that lucky gold piece you found in lower seven,' I told him. +`We'll trade.' + +"`Was you in lower seven? --so you was!' says George. Well, he had it +all right--you bet he had it. Now wasn't that queer? The very day you +and I began to know each other!" + +"Wonderful!" Janet agreed. "Why don't you put it on your watch chain?" + +"Well, I've thought of that," he replied, with the air of having +considered all sides of the matter. "But I've got that charm of the +secret order I belong to--that's on my chain. I guess I'll keep it in my +vest pocket." + +"I didn't know you were so superstitious," she mocked. + +"Pretty nearly everybody's superstitious," he declared. And she thought +of Lise. + +"I'm not. I believe if things are going to happen well, they're going to +happen. Nothing can prevent it." + +"By thunder" he exclaimed, struck by her remark. "You are like that +You're different from any person I ever knew...." + +From such anecdotes she pieced together her new Ditmar. He spoke of a +large world she had never seen, of New York and Washington and Chicago, +where he intended to take her. In the future he would never travel +alone. And he told her of his having been a delegate to the last +National Republican Convention, explaining what a delegate was. He +gloried in her innocence, and it was pleasant to dazzle her with +impressions of his cosmopolitanism. In this, perhaps, he was not quite +so successful as he imagined, but her eyes shone. She had never even +been in a sleeping car! For her delectation he launched into an +enthusiastic description of these vehicles, of palatial compartment cars, +of limited, transcontinental trains, where one had a stenographer and a +barber at one's disposal. + +"Neither of them would do me any good," she complained. + +"You could go to the manicure," he said. + +There had been in Ditmar's life certain events which, in his anecdotal +moods, were magnified into matters of climacteric importance; high, +festal occasions on which it was sweet to reminisce, such as his visit as +Delegate at Large to that Chicago Convention. He had travelled on a +special train stocked with cigars and White Seal champagne, in the +company of senators and congressmen and ex-governors, state treasurers, +collectors of the port, mill owners, and bankers to whom he referred, as +the French say, in terms of their "little" names. He dwelt on the +magnificence of the huge hotel set on the borders of a lake like an +inland sea, and related such portions of the festivities incidental to +"the seeing of Chicago" as would bear repetition. No women belonged to +this realm; no women, at least, who were to be regarded as persons. +Ditmar did not mention them, but no doubt they existed, along with the +cigars and the White Seal champagne, contributing to the amenities. And +the excursion, to Janet, took on the complexion of a sort of glorified +picnic in the course of which, incidentally, a President of the United +States had been chosen. In her innocence she had believed the voters to +perform this function. Ditmar laughed. + +"Do you suppose we're going to let the mob run this country?" he +inquired. "Once in a while we can't get away with it as we'd like, we +have to take the best we can." + +Thus was brought home to her more and more clearly that what men strove +and fought for were the joys of prominence, privilege, and power. +Everywhere, in the great world, they demanded and received consideration. +It was Ditmar's boast that if nobody else could get a room in a crowded +New York hotel, he could always obtain one. And she was fain to concede- +-she who had never known privilege--a certain intoxicating quality to +this eminence. If you could get the power, and refused to take it, the +more fool you! A topsy-turvy world, in which the stupid toiled day by +day, week by week, exhausting their energies and craving joy, while +others adroitly carried off the prize; and virtue had apparently as +little to do with the matter as fair hair or a club foot. If Janet had +ever read Darwin, she would have recognized in her lover a creature +rather wonderfully adapted to his environment; and what puzzled her, +perhaps, was the riddle that presents itself to many better informed than +herself--the utter absence in this environment of the sign of any being +who might be called God. Her perplexities--for she did have them--took +the form of an instinctive sense of inadequacy, of persistently recurring +though inarticulate convictions of the existence of elements not included +in Ditmar's categories--of things that money could not buy; of things, +too, alas! that poverty was as powerless to grasp. Stored within her, +sometimes rising to the level of consciousness, was that experience at +Silliston in the May weather when she had had a glimpse--just a glimpse! +of a garden where strange and precious flowers were in bloom. On the +other hand, this mysterious perception by her of things unseen and +hitherto unguessed, of rays of delight in the spectrum of values to which +his senses were unattuned, was for Ditmar the supreme essence of her +fascination. At moments he was at once bewildered and inebriated by the +rare delicacy of fabric of the woman whom he had somehow stumbled upon +and possessed. + +Then there were the hours when they worked together in the office. Here +she beheld Ditmar at his best. It cannot be said that his infatuation +for her was ever absent from his consciousness: he knew she was there +beside him, he betrayed it continually. But here she was in the presence +of what had been and what remained his ideal, the Chippering Mill; here +he acquired unity. All his energies were bent toward the successful +execution of the Bradlaugh order, which had to be completed on the first +of February. And as day after day went by her realization of the +magnitude of the task he had undertaken became keener. Excitement was in +the air. Ditmar seemed somehow to have managed to infuse not only +Orcutt, the superintendent, but the foremen and second hands and even the +workers with a common spirit of pride and loyalty, of interest, of +determination to carry off this matter triumphantly. The mill seemed +fairly to hum with effort. Janet's increasing knowledge of its +organization and processes only served to heighten her admiration for the +confidence Ditmar had shown from the beginning. It was superb. And now, +as the probability of the successful execution of the task tended more +and more toward certainty, he sometimes gave vent to his boyish, +exuberant spirits. + +"I told Holster, I told all those croakers I'd do it, and by thunder I +will do it, with three days' margin, too! I'll get the last shipment off +on the twenty-eighth of January. Why, even George Chippering was afraid +I couldn't handle it. If the old man was alive he wouldn't have had cold +feet." Then Ditmar added, half jocularly, half seriously, looking down +on her as she sat with her note-book, waiting for him to go on with his +dictation: "I guess you've had your share in it, too. You've been a +wonder, the way you've caught on and taken things off my shoulders. If +Orcutt died I believe you could step right into his shoes." + +"I'm sure I could step into his shoes," she replied. "Only I hope he +won't die." + +"I hope he won't, either," said Ditmar. "And as for you--" + +"Never mind me, now," she said. + +He bent over her. + +"Janet, you're the greatest girl in the world." + +Yes, she was happiest when she felt she was helping him, it gave her +confidence that she could do more, lead him into paths beyond which they +might explore together. She was useful. Sometimes, however, he seemed +to her oversanguine; though he had worked hard, his success had come too +easily, had been too uniform. His temper was quick, the prospect of +opposition often made him overbearing, yet on occasions he listened with +surprising patience to his subordinates when they ventured to differ from +his opinions. At other times Janet had seen him overrule them +ruthlessly; humiliate them. There were days when things went wrong, when +there were delays, complications, more matters to attend to than usual. +On one such day, after the dinner hour, Mr. Orcutt entered the office. +His long, lean face wore a certain expression Janet had come to know, an +expression that always irritated Ditmar--the conscientious superintendent +having the unfortunate faculty of exaggerating annoyances by his very +bearing. Ditmar stopped in the midst of dictating a peculiarly difficult +letter, and looked up sharply. + +"Well," he asked, "what's the trouble now?" + +Orcutt seemed incapable of reading storm signals. When anything +happened, he had the air of declaring, "I told you so." + +"You may remember I spoke to you once or twice, Mr. Ditmar, of the talk +over the fifty-four hour law that goes into effect in January." + +"Yes, what of it?" Ditmar cut in. "The notices have been posted, as the +law requires." + +"The hands have been grumbling, there are trouble makers among them. A +delegation came to me this noon and wanted to know whether we intended to +cut the pay to correspond to the shorter working hours." + +"Of course it's going to be cut," said Ditmar. "What do they suppose? +That we're going to pay 'em for work they don't do? The hands not paid +by the piece are paid practically by the hour, not by the day. And +there's got to be some limit to this thing. If these damned demagogues +in the legislature keep on cutting down the hours of women and children +every three years or so--and we can't run the mill without the women and +children--we might as well shut down right now. Three years ago, when +they made it fifty-six hours, we were fools to keep up the pay. I said +so then, at the conference, but they wouldn't listen to me. They +listened this time. Holster and one or two others croaked, but we shut +'em up. No, they won't get any more pay, not a damned cent." + +Orcutt had listened patiently, lugubriously. + +"I told them that." + +"What did they say?" + +"They said they thought there'd be a strike." + +"Pooh! Strike!" exclaimed Ditmar with contemptuous violence. "Do you +believe that? You're always borrowing trouble, you are. They may have a +strike at one mill, the Clarendon. I hope they do, I hope Holster gets +it in the neck--he don't know how to run a mill anyway. We won't have +any strike, our people understand when they're well off, they've got all +the work they can do, they're sending fortunes back to the old country or +piling them up in the banks. It's all bluff." + +"There was a meeting of the English branch of the I. W. W. last night. +A committee was appointed," said Orcutt, who as usual took a gloomy +satisfaction in the prospect of disaster. + +"The I. W. W.! My God, Orcutt, don't you know enough not to come in here +wasting my time talking about the I. W. W.? Those anarchists haven't got +any organization. Can't you get that through your head?" + +"All right," replied Orcutt, and marched off. Janet felt rather sorry +for him, though she had to admit that his manner was exasperating. But +Ditmar's anger, instead of cooling, increased: it all seemed directed +against the unfortunate superintendent. + +"Would you believe that a man who's been in this mill twenty-five years +could be such a fool?" he demanded. "The I. W. W.! Why not the Ku Klux? +He must think I haven't anything to do but chin. I don't know why I keep +him here, sometimes I think he'll drive me crazy." + +His eyes seemed to have grown small and red, as was always the case when +his temper got the better of him. Janet did not reply, but sat with her +pencil poised over her book. + +"Let's see, where was I?" he asked. "I can't finish that letter now. Go +out and do the others." + +Mundane experience, like a badly mixed cake, has a tendency to run in +streaks, and on the day following the incident related above Janet's +heart was heavy. Ditmar betrayed an increased shortness of temper and +preoccupation; and the consciousness that her love had lent her a +clairvoyant power to trace the source of his humours though these were +often hidden from or unacknowledged by himself--was in this instance +small consolation. She saw clearly enough that the apprehensions +expressed by Mr. Orcutt, whom he had since denounced as an idiotic old +woman, had made an impression, aroused in him the ever-abiding concern +for the mill which was his life's passion and which had been but +temporarily displaced by his infatuation with her. That other passion +was paramount. What was she beside it? Would he hesitate for a moment +to sacrifice her if it came to a choice between them? The +tempestuousness of these thoughts, when they took possession of her, +hinting as they did of possibilities in her nature hitherto unguessed and +unrevealed, astonished and frightened her; she sought to thrust them +away, to reassure herself that his concern for the successful delivery of +the Bradlaugh order was natural. During the morning, in the intervals +between interviews with the superintendents, he was self-absorbed, and +she found herself inconsistently resenting the absence of those +expressions of endearment--the glances and stolen caresses--for +indulgence in which she had hitherto rebuked him: and though pride came +to her rescue, fuel was added to her feeling by the fact that he did not +seem to notice her coolness. Since he failed to appear after lunch, she +knew he must be investigating the suspicions Orcutt had voiced; but at +six o'clock, when he had not returned, she closed up her desk and left +the office. An odour of cheap perfume pervading the corridor made her +aware of the presence of Miss Lottie Myers. + +"Oh, it's you!" said that young woman, looking up from the landing of the +stairs. "I might have known it you never make a get-away until after +six, do you?" + +"Oh, sometimes," said Janet. + +"I stayed as a special favour to-night," Miss Myers declared. "But I'm +not so stuck on my job that I can't tear myself away from it." + +"I don't suppose you are," said Janet. + +For a moment Miss Myers looked as if she was about to be still more +impudent, but her eye met Janet's, and wavered. They crossed the bridge +in silence. "Well, ta-ta," she said. "If you like it, it's up to you. +Five o'clock for mine,"--and walked away, up the canal, swinging her hips +defiantly. And Janet, gazing after her, grew hot with indignation and +apprehension. Her relations with Ditmar were suspected, after all, made +the subject of the kind of comment indulged in, sotto voce, by Lottie +Myers and her friends at the luncheon hour. She felt a mad, primitive +desire to run after the girl, to spring upon and strangle her and compel +her to speak what was in her mind and then retract it; and the motor +impulse, inhibited, caused a sensation of sickness, of unhappiness and +degradation as she turned her steps slowly homeward. Was it a +misinterpretation, after all--what Lottie Myers had implied and feared to +say?... + +In Fillnore Street supper was over, and Lise, her face contorted, her +body strained, was standing in front of the bureau "doing" her hair, her +glance now seeking the mirror, now falling again to consult a model in +one of those periodicals of froth and fashion that cause such numberless +heart burnings in every quarter of our democracy, and which are filled +with photographs of "prominent" persons at race meetings, horse shows, +and resorts, and with actresses, dancers,--and mannequins. Janet's eyes +fell on the open page to perceive that the coiffure her sister so +painfully imitated was worn by a young woman with an insolent, vapid face +and hard eyes, whose knees were crossed, revealing considerably more than +an ankle. The picture was labelled, "A dance at Palm Beach--A flashlight +of Mrs. 'Trudy' Gascoigne-Schell,"--one of those mysterious, hybrid names +which, in connection with the thoughts of New York and the visible rakish +image of the lady herself, cause involuntary shudders down the spine of +the reflecting American provincial. Some such responsive quiver, akin to +disgust, Janet herself experienced. + +"It's the very last scream," Lise was saying. "And say, if I owned a +ball dress like that I'd be somebody's Lulu all right! Can I have the +pleasure of the next maxixe, Miss Bumpus?" With deft and rapid fingers +she lead parted her hair far on the right side and pulled it down over +the left eyebrow, twisted it over her ear and tightly around her head, +inserting here and there a hairpin, seizing the hand mirror with the +cracked back, and holding it up behind her. Finally, when the operation +was finished to + +her satisfaction she exclaimed, evidently to the paragon in the picture, +"I get you!" Whereupon, from the wardrobe, she produced a hat. "You +sure had my number when you guessed the feathers on that other would get +draggled," she observed in high good humour, generously ignoring their +former unpleasantness on the subject. When she had pinned it on she bent +mockingly over her sister, who sat on the bed. "How d'you like my new +toque? Peekaboo! That's the way the guys rubberneck to see if you're +good lookin'." + +Lise was exalted, feverish, apparently possessed by some high secret; her +eyes shone, and when she crossed the room she whistled bars of ragtime +and executed mincing steps of the maxixe. Fumbling in the upper drawer +for a pair of white gloves (also new), she knocked off the corner of the +bureau her velvet bag; it opened as it struck the floor, and out of it +rolled a lilac vanity case and a yellow coin. Casting a suspicious, +lightning glance at Janet, she snatched up the vanity case and covered +the coin with her foot. + +"Lock the doors!" she cried, with an hysteric giggle. Then removing her +foot she picked up the coin surreptitiously. To her amazement her sister +made no comment, did not seem to have taken in the significance of the +episode. Lise had expected a tempest of indignant, searching questions, +a "third degree," as she would have put it. She snapped the bag +together, drew on her gloves, and, when she was ready to leave, with +characteristic audacity crossed the room, taking her sister's face +between her hands and kissing her. + +"Tell me your troubles, sweetheart!" she said--and did not wait to hear +them. + +Janet was incapable of speech--nor could she have brought herself to ask +Lise whether or not the money had been earned at the Bagatelle, and +remained miraculously unspent. It was possible, but highly incredible. +And then, the vanity case and the new hat were to be accounted for! The +sight of the gold piece, indeed, had suddenly revived in Janet the queer +feeling of faintness, almost of nausea she had experienced after parting +with Lottie Myers. And by some untoward association she was reminded of +a conversation she had had with Ditmar on the Saturday afternoon +following their first Sunday excursion, when, on opening her pay +envelope, she had found twenty dollars. + +"Are you sure I'm worth it?" she had demanded--and he had been quite +sure. He had added that she was worth more, much more, but that he could +not give her as yet, without the risk of comment, a sum commensurate with +the value of her services.... But now she asked herself again, was she +worth it? or was it merely--part of her price? Going to the wardrobe and +opening a drawer at the bottom she searched among her clothes until she +discovered the piece of tissue paper in which she had wrapped the rose +rescued from the cluster he had given her. The petals were dry, yet they +gave forth, still, a faint, reminiscent fragrance as she pressed them to +her face. Janet wept.... + +The following morning as she was kneeling in a corner of the room by the +letter files, one of which she had placed on the floor, she recognized +his step in the outer office, heard him pause to joke with young +Caldwell, and needed not the visual proof--when after a moment he halted +on the threshold--of the fact that his usual, buoyant spirits were +restored. He held a cigar in his hand, and in his eyes was the eager +look with which she had become familiar, which indeed she had learned to +anticipate as they swept the room in search of her. And when they fell +on her he closed the door and came forward impetuously. But her +exclamation caused him to halt in bewilderment. + +"Don't touch me!" she said. + +And he stammered out, as he stood over her:-- + +"What's the matter?" + +"Everything. You don't love me--I was a fool to believe you did." + +"Don't love you!" he repeated. "My God, what's the trouble now? What +have I done?" + +"Oh, it's nothing you've done, it's what you haven't done, it's what you +can't do. You don't really care for me--all you care for is this mill-- +when anything happens here you don't know I'm alive." + +He stared at her, and then an expression of comprehension, of intense +desire grew in his eyes; and his laugh, as he flung his cigar out of the +open window and bent down to seize her, was almost brutal. She fought +him, she tried to hurt him, and suddenly, convulsively pressed herself to +him. + +"You little tigress!" he said, as he held her. "You were jealous--were +you--jealous of the mill?" And he laughed again. "I'd like to see you +with something really to be jealous about. So you love me like that, do +you?" + +She could feel his heart beating against her. + +"I won't be neglected," she told him tensely. "I want all of you--if I +can't have all of you, I don't want any. Do you understand?" + +"Do I understand? Well, I guess I do." + +"You didn't yesterday," she reproached him, somewhat dazed by the +swiftness of her submission, and feeling still the traces of a lingering +resentment. She had not intended to surrender. "You forgot all about +me, you didn't know I was here, much less that I was hurt. Oh, I was +hurt! And you--I can tell at once when anything's wrong with you--I know +without your saying it." + +He was amazed, he might indeed have been troubled and even alarmed by +this passion he had aroused had his own passion not been at the flood. +And as he wiped away her tears with his handkerchief he could scarcely +believe his senses that this was the woman whose resistance had demanded +all his force to overcome. Indeed, although he recognized the symptoms +she betrayed as feminine, as having been registered--though feebly +compared to this! by incidents in his past, precisely his difficulty +seemed to be in identifying this complex and galvanic being as a woman, +not as something almost fearful in her significance, outside the bounds +of experience.... + +Presently she ceased to tremble, and he drew her to the window. The day +was as mild as autumn, the winter sun like honey in its mellowness; a +soft haze blurred the outline of the upper bridge. + +"Only two more days until Sunday," he whispered, caressingly, +exultantly.... + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +It had been a strange year in Hampton, unfortunate for coal merchants, +welcome to the poor. But Sunday lacked the transforming touch of +sunshine. The weather was damp and cold as Janet set out from Fillmore +Street. Ditmar, she knew, would be waiting for her, he counted on her, +and she could not bear to disappoint him, to disappoint herself. And all +the doubts and fears that from time to time had assailed her were +banished by this impulse to go to him, to be with him. He loved her! +The words, as she sat in the trolley car, ran in her head like the lilt +of a song. What did the weather matter? + +When she alighted at the lonely cross-roads snow had already begun to +fall. But she spied the automobile, with its top raised, some distance +down the lane, and in a moment she was in it, beside him, wrapped in the +coat she had now come to regard as her own. He buttoned down the +curtains and took her in his arms. + +"What shall we do to-day," she asked, "if it snows?" + +"Don't let that worry you, sweetheart," he said. "I have the chains on, +I can get through anything in this car." + +He was in high, almost turbulent spirits as he turned the car and drove +it out of the rutty lane into the state road. The snow grew thicker and +thicker still, the world was blotted out by swiftly whirling, feathery +flakes that melted on the windshield, and through the wet glass Janet +caught distorted glimpses of black pines and cedars beside the highway. + +The ground was spread with fleece. Occasionally, and with startling +suddenness, other automobiles shot like dark phantoms out of the +whiteness, and like phantoms disappeared. Presently, through the veil, +she recognized Silliston--a very different Silliston from that she had +visited on the fragrant day in springtime, when the green on the common +had been embroidered with dandelions, and the great elms whose bare +branches were now fantastically traced against the flowing veil of white- +-heavy with leaf. Vignettes emerged--only to fade!--of the old-world +houses whose quaint beauty had fascinated and moved her. And she found +herself wondering what had become of the strange man she had mistaken for +a carpenter. All that seemed to have taken place in a past life. She +asked Ditmar where he was going. + +"Boston," he told her. "There's no other place to go." + +"But you'll never get back if it goes on snowing like this." + +"Well, the trains are still running," he assured her, with a quizzical +smile. "How about it, little girl?" It was a term of endearment +derived, undoubtedly, from a theatrical source, in which he sometimes +indulged. + +She did not answer. Surprisingly, to-day, she did not care. All she +could think of, all she wanted was to go on and on beside him with the +world shut out--on and on forever. She was his--what did it matter? +They were on their way to Boston! She began, dreamily, to think about +Boston, to try to restore it in her imagination to the exalted place it +had held before she met Ditmar; to reconstruct it from vague memories of +childhood when, in two of the family peregrinations, she had crossed it. +Traces remained of emotionally-toned impressions acquired when she had +walked about the city holding Edward's hand--of a long row of stately +houses with forbidding fronts, set on a hillside, of a wide, tree-covered +space where children were playing. And her childish verdict, persisting +to-day, was one of inaccessibility, impenetrability, of jealously guarded +wealth and beauty. Those houses, and the treasures she was convinced +they must contain, were not for her! Some of the panes of glass in their +windows were purple--she remembered a little thing like that, and asking +her father the reason! He hadn't known. This purple quality had somehow +steeped itself into her memory of Boston, and even now the colour stood +for the word, impenetrable. That was extraordinary. Even now! Well, +they were going to Boston; if Ditmar had said they were going to Bagdad +it would have been quite as credible--and incredible. Wherever they were +going, it was into the larger, larger life, and walls were to crumble +before them, walls through which they would pass, even as they rent the +white veil of the storm, into regions of beauty.... + +And now the world seemed abandoned to them alone, so empty, so still were +the white villages flitting by; so empty, so still the great parkway of +the Fells stretching away and away like an enchanted forest under the +snow, like the domain of some sleeping king. And the flakes melted +silently into the black waters. And the wide avenue to which they came +led to a sleeping palace! No, it was a city, Somerville, Ditmar told +her, as they twisted in and out of streets, past stores, churches and +fire-engine houses, breasted the heights, descended steeply on the far +side into Cambridge, and crossed the long bridge over the Charles. And +here at last was Boston--Beacon Street, the heart or funnel of it, as one +chose. Ditmar, removing one of the side curtains that she might see, +with just a hint in his voice of a reverence she was too excited to +notice, pointed out the stern and respectable facades of the twin +Chippering mansions standing side by side. Save for these shrines--for +such in some sort they were to him--the Back Bay in his eyes was nothing +more than a collection of houses inhabited by people whom money and +social position made unassailable. But to-day he, too, was excited. +Never had he been more keenly aware of her sensitiveness to experience; +and he to whom it had not occurred to wonder at Boston wondered at her, +who seemed able to summon forth a presiding, brooding spirit of the place +from out of the snow. Deep in her eyes, though they sparkled, was the +reflection of some mystic vision; her cheeks were flushed. And in her +delight, vicariously his own, he rejoiced; in his trembling hope of more +delight to come, which this mentorship would enhance,--despite the fast +deepening snow he drove her up one side of Commonwealth Avenue and down +the other, encircling the Common and the Public Garden; stopping at the +top of Park Street that she might gaze up at the State House, whose +golden dome, seen through the veil, was tinged with blue. Boston! Why +not Russia? Janet was speechless for sheer lack of words to describe +what she felt.... + +At length he brought the car to a halt opposite an imposing doorway in +front of which a glass roof extended over the pavement, and Janet +demanded where they were. + +"Well, we've got to eat, haven't we?" Ditmar replied. She noticed that +he was shivering. + +"Are you cold?" she inquired with concern. + +"I guess I am, a little," he replied. "I don't know why I should be, in +a fur coat. But I'll be warm soon enough, now." + +A man in blue livery hurried toward them across the sidewalk, helping +them to alight. And Ditmar, after driving the car a few paces beyond the +entrance, led her through the revolving doors into a long corridor, paved +with marble and lighted by bulbs glowing from the ceiling, where benches +were set against the wall, overspread by the leaves of potted plants set +in the intervals between them. + +"Sit down a moment," he said to her. "I must telephone to have somebody +take that car, or it'll stay there the rest of the winter." + +She sat down on one of the benches. The soft light, the warmth, the +exotic odour of the plants, the well-dressed people who trod softly the +strip of carpet set on the marble with the air of being at home--all +contributed to an excitement, intense yet benumbing. She could not +think. She didn't want to think--only to feel, to enjoy, to wring the +utmost flavour of enchantment from these new surroundings; and her face +wore the expression of one in a dream. Presently she saw Ditmar +returning followed by a boy in a blue uniform. + +"All right," he said. At the end of the corridor was an elevator in +which they were shot to one of the upper floors; and the boy, inserting a +key in a heavy mahogany door, revealed a sitting-room. Between its +windows was a table covered with a long, white cloth reaching to the +floor, on which, amidst the silverware and glass, was set a tall vase +filled with dusky roses. Janet, drawing in a deep breath of their +fragrance, glanced around the room. The hangings, the wall-paper, the +carpet, the velvet upholstery of the mahogany chairs, of the wide lounge +in the corner were of a deep and restful green; the marble mantelpiece, +with its English coal grate, was copied--had she known it--from a mansion +of the Georgian period. The hands of a delicate Georgian clock pointed +to one. And in the large mirror behind the clock she beheld an image she +supposed, dreamily, to be herself. The bell boy was taking off her coat, +which he hung, with Ditmar's, on a rack in a corner. + +"Shall I light the fire, sir?" he asked. + +"Sure," said Ditmar. "And tell them to hurry up with lunch." + +The boy withdrew, closing the door silently behind him. + +"We're going to have lunch here!" Janet exclaimed. + +"Why not? I thought it would be nicer than a public dining-room, and +when I got up this morning and saw what the weather was I telephoned." +He placed two chairs before the fire, which had begun to blaze. "Isn't +it cosy?" he said, taking her hands and pulling her toward him. His own +hands trembled, the tips of his fingers were cold. + +"You are cold!" she said. + +"Not now--not now," he replied. The queer vibrations were in his voice +that she had heard before. "Sweetheart! This is the best yet, isn't it? +And after that trip in the storm!" + +"It's beautiful!" she murmured, gently drawing away from him and looking +around her once more. "I never was in a room like this." + +"Well, you'll be in plenty more of them," he exulted. "Sit down beside +the fire, and get warm yourself." + +She obeyed, and he took the chair at her side, his eyes on her face. As +usual, she was beyond him; and despite her exclamations of surprise, of +appreciation and pleasure she maintained the outward poise, the +inscrutability that summed up for him her uniqueness in the world of +woman. She sat as easily upright in the delicate Chippendale chair as +though she had been born to it. He made wild surmises as to what she +might be thinking. Was she, as she seemed, taking all this as a matter +of course? She imposed on him an impelling necessity to speak, to say +anything--it did not matter what--and he began to dwell on the +excellences of the hotel. She did not appear to hear him, her eyes +lingering on the room, until presently she asked:-- + +"What's the name of this hotel?" + +He told her. + +"I thought they only allowed married people to come, like this, in a +private room." + +"Oh!" he began--and the sudden perception that she had made this +statement impartially added to his perplexity. "Well," he was able to +answer, "we're as good as married, aren't we, Janet?" He leaned toward +her, he put his hand on hers. "The manager here is an old friend of +mine. He knows we're as good as married." + +"Another old friend!" she queried. And the touch of humour, in spite of +his taut nerves, delighted him. + +"Yes, yes," he laughed, rather uproariously. "I've got 'em everywhere, +as thick as landmarks." + +"You seem to," she said. + +"I hope you're hungry," he said. + +"Not very," she replied. "It's all so strange--this day, Claude. It's +like a fairy story, coming here to Boston in the snow, and this place, +and--and being with you." + +"You still love me?" he cried, getting up. + +"You must know that I do," she answered simply, raising her face to his. +And he stood gazing down into it, with an odd expression she had never +seen before...."What's the matter?" she asked. + +"Nothing--nothing," he assured her, but continued to look at her. +"You're so--so wonderful," he whispered, "I just can't believe it." + +"And if it's hard for you," she answered, "think what it must be for me!" +And she smiled up at him. + +Ditmar had known a moment of awe.... Suddenly he took her face between +his hands and pressed his rough cheek against it, blindly. His hands +trembled, his body was shaken, as by a spasm. + +"Why, you're still cold, Claude!" she cried anxiously. + +And he stammered out: "I'm not--it's you--it's having you!" + +Before she could reply to this strange exclamation, to which, +nevertheless, some fire in her leaped in response, there came a knock at +the door, and he drew away from her as he answered it. Two waiters +entered obsequiously, one bearing a serving table, the other holding +above his head a large tray containing covered dishes and glasses. + +"I could do with a cocktail!" Ditmar exclaimed, and the waiter smiled as +he served them. "Here's how!" he said, giving her a glass containing a +yellow liquid. + +She tasted it, made a grimace, and set it down hastily. + +"What's the trouble?" he asked, laughing, as she hurried to the table and +took a drink of water. + +"It's horrid!" she cried. + +"Oh, you'll get over that idea," he told her. "You'll be crazy about +'em." + +"I never want to taste another," she declared. + +He laughed again. He had taken his at a swallow, but almost nullifying +its effect was this confirmation--if indeed he had needed it--of the +extent of her inexperience. She was, in truth, untouched by the world-- +the world in which he had lived. He pulled out her chair for her and she +sat down, confronted by a series of knives, forks, and spoons on either +side of a plate of oysters. Oysters served in this fashion, needless to +say, had never formed part of the menu in Fillmore Street, or in any +Hampton restaurant where she had lunched. But she saw that Ditmar had +chosen a little fork with three prongs, and she followed his example. + +"You mustn't tell me you don't like Cotuits!" he exclaimed. + +She touched one, delicately, with her fork. + +"They're alive!" she exclaimed, though the custom of consuming them thus +was by no means unknown to her. Lise had often boasted of a taste for +oysters on the shell, though really preferring them smothered with red +catsup in a "cocktail." + +"They're alive, but they don't know it. They won't eat you," Ditmar +replied gleefully. "Squeeze a little lemon on one." Another sort of +woman, he reflected, would have feigned a familiarity with the dish. + +She obeyed him, put one in her mouth, gave a little shiver, and swallowed +it quickly. + +"Well?" he said. "It isn't bad, is it?" + +"It seems so queer to eat anything alive, and enjoy it," she said, as she +ate the rest of them. + +"If you think they're good here you ought to taste them on the Cape, +right out of the water," he declared, and went on to relate how he had +once eaten a fabulous number in a contest with a friend of his, and won a +bet. He was fond of talking about wagers he had won. Betting had lent a +zest to his life. "We'll roll down there together some day next summer, +little girl. It's a great place. You can go in swimming three times a +day and never feel it. And talk about eating oysters, you can't swallow +'em as fast as a fellow I know down there, Joe Pusey, can open 'em. It's +some trick to open 'em." + +He described the process, but she--scarcely listened. She was striving +to adjust herself to the elements of a new and revolutionary experience; +to the waiters who came and went, softly, deferentially putting hot +plates before her, helping her to strange and delicious things; a creamy +soup, a fish with a yellow sauce whose ingredients were artfully +disguised, a breast of guinea fowl, a salad, an ice, and a small cup of +coffee. Instincts and tastes hitherto unsuspected and ungratified were +aroused in her. What would it be like always to be daintily served, to +eat one's meals in this leisurely and luxurious manner? As her physical +hunger was satisfied by the dainty food, even as her starved senses drank +in the caressing warmth and harmony of the room, the gleaming fire, the +heavy scent of the flowers, the rose glow of the lights in contrast to +the storm without,--so the storm flinging itself against the windows, +powerless to reach her, seemed to typify a former existence of cold, +black mornings and factory bells and harsh sirens, of toil and +limitations. Had her existence been like that? or was it a dream, a +nightmare from which she had awakened at last? From time to time, deep +within her, she felt persisting a conviction that that was reality, this +illusion, but she fought it down. She wanted--oh, how she wanted to +believe in the illusion! + +Facing her was the agent, the genius, the Man who had snatched her from +that existence, who had at his command these delights to bestow. She +loved him, she belonged to him, he was to be her husband--yet there were +moments when the glamour of this oddly tended to dissolve, when an +objective vision intruded and she beheld herself, as though removed from +the body, lunching with a strange man in a strange place. And once it +crossed her mind--what would she think of another woman who did this? +What would she think if it were Lise? She could not then achieve a sense +of identity; it was as though she had partaken of some philtre lulling +her, inhibiting her power to grasp the fact in its enormity. And little +by little grew on her the realization of what all along she had known, +that the spell of these surroundings to which she had surrendered was an +expression of the man himself. He was the source of it. More and more, +as he talked, his eyes troubled and stirred her; the touch of his hand, +as he reached across the table and laid it on hers, burned her. When the +waiters had left them alone she could stand the strain no longer, and she +rose and strayed about the room, examining the furniture, the curtains, +the crystal pendants, faintly pink, that softened and diffused the light; +and she paused before the grand piano in the corner. + +"I'd like to be able to play!" she said. + +"You can learn," he told her. + +"I'm too old!" + +He laughed. And as he sat smoking his eyes followed her ceaselessly. + +Above the sofa hung a large print of the Circus Maximus, with crowded +tiers mounting toward the sky, and awninged boxes where sat the Vestal +Virgins and the Emperor high above a motley, serried group on the sand. +At the mouth of a tunnel a lion stood motionless, menacing, regarding +them. The picture fascinated Janet. + +"It's meant to be Rome, isn't it?" she asked. + +"What? That? I guess so." He got up and came over to her. "Sure," he +said. "I'm not very strong on history, but I read a book once, a novel, +which told how those old fellows used to like to see Christians thrown to +the lions just as we like to see football games. I'll get the book +again--we'll read it together." + +Janet shivered.... "Here's another picture," he said, turning to the +other side of the room. It was, apparently, an engraved copy of a modern +portrait, of a woman in evening dress with shapely arms and throat and a +small, aristocratic head. Around her neck was hung a heavy rope of +pearls. + +"Isn't she beautiful!" Janet sighed. + +"Beautiful!" He led her to the mirror. "Look!" he said. "I'll buy you +pearls, Janet, I want to see them gleaming against your skin. She can't +compare to you. I'll--I'll drape you with pearls." + +"No, no," she cried. "I don't want them, Claude. I don't want them. +Please!" She scarcely knew what she was saying. And as she drew away +from him her hands went out, were pressed together with an imploring, +supplicating gesture. He seized them. His nearness was suffocating her, +she flung herself into his arms, and their lips met in a long, swooning +kiss. She began instinctively but vainly to struggle, not against him-- +but against a primal thing stronger than herself, stronger than he, +stronger than codes and conventions and institutions, which yet she +craved fiercely as her being's fulfilment. It was sweeping them dizzily +--whither? The sheer sweetness and terror of it! + +"Don't, don't!" she murmured desperately. "You mustn't!" + +"Janet--we're going to be married, sweetheart,--just as soon as we can. +Won't you trust me? For God's sake, don't be cruel. You're my wife, +now--" + +His voice seemed to come from a great distance. And from a great +distance, too, her own in reply, drowned as by falling waters. + +"Do you love me? --will you love me always--always?" + +And he answered hoarsely, "Yes--always--I swear it, Janet." He had found +her lips again, he was pulling her toward a door on the far side of the +room, and suddenly, as he opened it, her resistance ceased.... + +The snow made automobiling impossible, and at half past nine that evening +Ditmar had escorted Janet to the station in a cab, and she had taken the +train for Hampton. For a while she sat as in a trance. She knew that +something had happened, something portentous, cataclysmic, which had +irrevocably changed her from the Janet Bumpus who had left Hampton that +same morning--an age ago. But she was unable to realize the +metamorphosis. In the course of a single day she had lived a lifetime, +exhausted the range of human experience, until now she was powerless to +feel any more. The car was filled with all sorts and conditions of +people returning to homes scattered through the suburbs and smaller +cities north of Boston--a mixed, Sunday-night crowd; and presently she +began, in a detached way, to observe them. Their aspects, their speech +and manners had the queer effect of penetrating her consciousness without +arousing the emotional judgments of approval or disapproval which +normally should have followed. Ordinarily she might have felt a certain +sympathy for the fragile young man on the seat beside her who sat moodily +staring through his glasses at the floor: and the group across the aisle +would surely have moved her to disgust. Two couples were seated vis-a- +vis, the men apparently making fun of a "pony" coat one of the girls was +wearing. In spite of her shrieks, which drew general attention, they +pulled it from her back--an operation regarded by the conductor himself +with tolerant amusement. Whereupon her companion, a big, blond Teuton +with an inane guffaw, boldly thrust an arm about her waist and held her +while he presented the tickets. Janet beheld all this as one sees +dancers through a glass, without hearing the music. + +Behind her two men fell into conversation. + +"I guess there's well over a foot of snow. I thought we'd have an open +winter, too." + +"Look out for them when they start in mild!" + +"I was afraid this darned road would be tied up if I waited until +morning. I'm in real estate, and there's a deal on in my town I've got +to watch every minute...." + +Even the talk between two slouch-hatted millhands, foreigners, failed at +the time to strike Janet as having any significance. They were +discussing with some heat the prospect of having their pay reduced by the +fifty-four hour law which was to come into effect on Monday. They +denounced the mill owners. + +"They speed up the machine and make work harder," said one. "I think we +goin' to have a strike sure." + +"Bad sisson too to have strike," replied the second pessimistically. "It +will be cold winter, now." + +Across the black square of the window drifted the stray lights of the +countryside, and from time to time, when the train stopped, she gazed +out, unheeding, at the figures moving along the dim station platforms. +Suddenly, without premeditation or effort, she began to live over again +the day, beginning with the wonders, half revealed, half hidden, of that +journey through the whiteness to Boston.... Awakened, listening, she +heard beating louder and louder on the shores of consciousness the waves +of the storm which had swept her away--waves like crashing chords of +music. She breathed deeply, she turned her face to the window, seeming +to behold reflected there, as in a crystal, all her experiences, little +and great, great and little. She was seated once more leaning back in +the corner of the carriage on her way to the station, she felt Ditmar's +hand working in her own, and she heard his voice pleading forgiveness-- +for her silence alarmed him. And she heard herself saying:-- + +"It was my fault as much as yours." + +And his vehement reply:-- + +"It wasn't anybody's fault--it was natural, it was wonderful, Janet. I +can't bear to see you sad." + +To see her sad! Twice, during the afternoon and evening, he had spoken +those words--or was it three times? Was there a time she had forgotten? +And each time she had answered: "I'm not sad." What she had felt indeed +was not sadness,--but how could she describe it to him when she herself +was amazed and dwarfed by it? Could he not feel it, too? Were men so +different?... In the cab his solicitation, his tenderness were only to +be compared with his bewilderment, his apparent awe of the feeling he +himself had raised up in her, and which awed her, likewise. She had +actually felt that bewilderment of his when, just before they had reached +the station, she had responded passionately to his last embrace. Even as +he returned her caresses, it had been conveyed to her amazingly by the +quality of his touch. Was it a lack all women felt in men? and were +these, even in supreme moments, merely the perplexed transmitters of +life?--not life itself? Her thoughts did not gain this clarity, though +she divined the secret. And yet she loved him--loved him with a +fierceness that frightened her, with a tenderness that unnerved her.... + +At the Hampton station she took the trolley, alighting at the Common, +following the narrow path made by pedestrians in the heavy snow to +Fillmore Street. She climbed the dark stairs, opened the dining-room +door, and paused on the threshold. Hannah and Edward sat there under the +lamp, Hannah scanning through her spectacles the pages of a Sunday +newspaper. On perceiving Janet she dropped it hastily in her lap. + +"Well, I was concerned about you, in all this storm!" she exclaimed. +"Thank goodness you're home, anyway. You haven't seen Lise, have you?" + +"Lise?" Janet repeated. "Hasn't she been home?" + +"Your father and I have been alone all day long. Not that it is so +uncommon for Lise to be gone. I wish it wasn't! But you! When you +didn't come home for supper I was considerably worried." + +Janet sat down between her mother and father and began to draw off her +gloves. + +"I'm going to marry Mr. Ditmar," she announced. + +For a few moments the silence was broken only by the ticking of the old- +fashioned clock. + +"Mr. Ditmar!" said Hannah, at length. "You're going to marry Mr. +Ditmar!" + +Edward was still inarticulate. His face twitched, his eyes watered as he +stared at her. + +"Not right away," said Janet. + + Well, I must say you take it rather cool," declared Hannah, almost +resentfully. "You come in and tell us you're going to marry Mr. Ditmar +just like you were talking about the weather." + +Hannah's eyes filled with tears. There had been indeed an unconscious +lack of consideration in Janet's abrupt announcement, which had fallen +like a spark on the dry tinder of Hannah's hope. The result was a +suffocating flame. Janet, whom love had quickened, had a swift +perception of this. She rose quickly and took Hannah in her arms and +kissed her. It was as though the relation between them were reversed, +and the daughter had now become the mother and the comforter. + +"I always knew something like this would happen!" said Edward. His words +incited Hannah to protest. + +"You didn't anything of the kind, Edward Bumpus," she exclaimed. + +"Just to think of Janet livin' in that big house up in Warren Street!" +he went on, unheeding, jubilant. "You'll drop in and see the old people +once in a while, Janet, you won't forget us?" + +"I wish you wouldn't talk like that, father," said Janet. + +"Well, he's a fine man, Claude Ditmar, I always said that. The way he +stops and talks to me when he passes the gate--" + +"That doesn't make him a good man," Hannah declared, and added: "If he +wasn't a good man, Janet wouldn't be marrying him." + +"I don't know whether he's good or not," said Janet. + +"That's so, too," observed Hannah, approvingly. "We can't any of us tell +till we've tried 'em, and then it's too late to change. I'd like to see +him, but I guess he wouldn't care to come down here to Fillmore Street." +The difference between Ditmar's social and economic standing and their +own suggested appalling complications to her mind. "I suppose I won't +get a sight of him till after you're married, and not much then." + +"There's plenty of time to think about that, mother," answered Janet. + +"I'd want to have everything decent and regular," Hannah insisted. "We +may be poor, but we come of good stock, as your father says." + +"It'll be all right--Mr. Ditmar will behave like a gentleman," Edward +assured her. + +"I thought I ought to tell you about it," Janet said, "but you mustn't +mention it, yet, not even to Lise. Lise will talk. Mr. Ditmar's very +busy now,--he hasn't made any plans." + +"I wish Lise could get married!" exclaimed Hannah, irrelevantly. "She's +been acting so queer lately, she's not been herself at all." + +"Now there you go, borrowing trouble, mother," Edward exclaimed. He +could not take his eyes from Janet, but continued to regard her with +benevolence. "Lise'll get married some day. I don't suppose we can +expect another Mr. Ditmar...." + +"Well," said Hannah, presently, "there's no use sitting up all night." +She rose and kissed Janet again. "I just can't believe it," she +declared, "but I guess it's so if you say it is." + +"Of course it's so," said Edward. + +"I so want you should be happy, Janet," said Hannah.... + +Was it so? Her mother and father, the dwarfed and ugly surroundings of +Fillmore Street made it seem incredible once more. And--what would they +say if they knew what had happened to her this day? When she had reached +her room, Janet began to wonder why she had told her parents. Had it not +been in order to relieve their anxiety--especially her mother's--on the +score of her recent absences from home? Yes, that was it, and because +the news would make them happy. And then the mere assertion to them that +she was to marry Ditmar helped to make it more real to herself. But, now +that reality was fading again, she was unable to bring it within the +scope of her imagination, her mind refused to hold one remembered +circumstance long enough to coordinate it with another: she realized that +she was tired--too tired to think any more. But despite her exhaustion +there remained within her, possessing her, as it were overshadowing her, +unrelated to future or past, the presence of the man who had awakened her +to an intensity of life hitherto unconceived. When her head touched the +pillow she fell asleep.... + +When the bells and the undulating scream of the siren awoke her, she lay +awhile groping in the darkness. Where was she? Who was she? The +discovery of the fact that the nail of the middle finger on her right +hand was broken, gave her a clew. She had broken that nail in reaching +out to save something--a vase of roses--that was it!--a vase of roses on +a table with a white cloth. Ditmar had tipped it over. The sudden +flaring up of this trivial incident served to re-establish her identity, +to light a fuse along which her mind began to run like fire, illuminating +redly all the events of the day before. It was sweet to lie thus, to +possess, as her very own, these precious, passionate memories of life +lived at last to fulness, to feel that she had irrevocably given herself +and taken--all. A longing to see Ditmar again invaded her: he would take +an early train, he would be at the office by nine. How could she wait +until then? + +With a movement that had become habitual, subconscious, she reached out +her hand to arouse her sister. The coldness of the sheets on the right +side of the bed sent a shiver through her--a shiver of fear. + +"Lise!" she called. But there was no answer from the darkness. And +Janet, trembling, her heart beating wildly, sprang from the bed, searched +for the matches, and lit the gas. There was no sign of Lise; her +clothes, which she had the habit of flinging across the chairs, were +nowhere to be seen. Janet's eyes fell on the bureau, marked the absence +of several knick-knacks, including a comb and brush, and with a sudden +sickness of apprehension she darted to the wardrobe and flung open the +doors. In the bottom were a few odd garments, above was the hat with the +purple feather, now shabby and discarded, on the hooks a skirt and jacket +Lise wore to work at the Bagatelle in bad weather. That was all.... +Janet sank down in the rocking-chair, her hands clasped together, +overwhelmed by the sudden apprehension of the tragedy that had lurked, +all unsuspected, in the darkness: a tragedy, not of Lise alone, but in +which she herself was somehow involved. Just why this was so, she could +not for the moment declare. The room was cold, she was clad only in a +nightdress, but surges of heat ran through her body. What should she do? +She must think. But thought was impossible. She got up and closed the +window and began to dress with feverish rapidity, pausing now and again +to stand motionless. In one such moment there entered her mind an +incident that oddly had made little impression at the time of its +occurrence because she, Janet, had been blinded by the prospect of her +own happiness--that happiness which, a few minutes ago, had seemed so +real and vital a thing! And it was the memory of this incident that +suddenly threw a glaring, evil light on all of Lise's conduct during the +past months--her accidental dropping of the vanity case and the gold +coin! Now she knew'for a certainty what had happened to her sister. + +Having dressed herself, she entered the kitchen, which was warm, filled +with the smell of frying meat. Streaks of grease smoke floated +fantastically beneath the low ceiling, and Hannah, with the fryingpan in +one hand and a fork in the other, was bending over the stove. Wisps of +her scant, whitening hair escaped from the ridiculous, tightly drawn knot +at the back of her head; in the light of the flickering gas-jet she +looked so old and worn that a sudden pity smote Janet and made her dumb-- +pity for her mother, pity for herself, pity for Lise; pity that lent a +staggering insight into life itself. Hannah had once been young, +desirable, perhaps, swayed by those forces which had swayed her. Janet +wondered why she had never guessed this before, and why she had guessed +it now. But it was Hannah who, looking up and catching sight of Janet's +face, was quick to divine the presage in it and gave voice to the +foreboding that had weighed on her for many weeks. + +"Where's Lise?" + +And Janet could not answer. She shook her head. Hannah dropped the +fork, the handle of the frying pan and crossed the room swiftly, seizing +Janet by the shoulders. + +"Is she gone? I knew it, I felt it all along. I thought she'd done +something she was afraid to tell about--I tried to ask her, but I +couldn't--I couldn't! And now she's gone. Oh, my God, I'll never +forgive myself!" + +The unaccustomed sight of her mother's grief was terrible. For an +instant only she clung to Janet, then becoming mute, she sat down in the +kitchen chair and stared with dry, unseeing eyes at the wall. Her face +twitched. Janet could not bear to look at it, to see the torture in her +mother's eyes. She, Janet, seemed suddenly to have grown old herself, to +have lived through ages of misery and tragedy.... She was aware of a +pungent odour, went to the stove, picked up the fork, and turned the +steak. Now and then she glanced at Hannah. Grief seemed to have frozen +her. Then, from the dining-room she heard footsteps, and Edward stood in +the doorway. + +"Well, what's the matter with breakfast?" he asked. From where he stood +he could not see Hannah's face, but gradually his eyes were drawn to her +figure. His intuition was not quick, and some moments passed before the +rigidity of the pose impressed itself upon him. + +"Is mother sick?" he asked falteringly. + +Janet went to him. But it was Hannah who spoke. + +"Lise has gone," she said. + +"Lise--gone," Edward repeated. "Gone where?" + +"She's run away--she's disgraced us," Hannah replied, in a monotonous, +dulled voice. + +Edward did not seem to understand, and presently Janet felt impelled to +break the silence. + +"She didn't come home last night, father." + +"Didn't come home? Mebbe she spent the night with a friend," he said. + +It seemed incredible, at such a moment, that he could still be hopeful. + +"No, she's gone, I tell you, she's lost, we'll never lay eyes on her +again. My God, I never thought she'd come to this, but I might have +guessed it. Lise! Lise! To think it's my Lise!" + +Hannah's voice echoed pitifully through the silence of the flat. So +appealing, so heartbroken was the cry one might have thought that Lise, +wherever she was, would have heard it. Edward was dazed by the shock, +his lower lip quivered and fell. He walked over to Hannah's chair and +put his hand on her shoulder. + +"There, there, mother," he pleaded. "If she's gone, we'll find her, +we'll bring her back to you." + +Hannah shook her head. She pushed back her chair abruptly and going over +to the stove took the fork from Janet's hand and put the steak on the +dish. + +"Go in there and set down, Edward," she said. "I guess we've got to have +breakfast just the same, whether she's gone or not." + +It was terrible to see Hannah, with that look on her face, going about +her tasks automatically. And Edward, too, seemed suddenly to have become +aged and broken; his trust in the world, so amazingly preserved through +many vicissitudes, shattered at last. He spilled his coffee when he +tried to drink, and presently he got up and wandered about the room, +searching for his overcoat. It was Janet who found it and helped him on +with it. He tried to say something, but failing, departed heavily for +the mill. Janet began to remove the dishes from the table. + +"You've got to eat something, too, before you go to work," said Hannah. + +"I've had all I want," Janet replied. + +Hannah followed her into the kitchen. The scarcely touched food was laid +aside, the coffee-pot emptied, Hannah put the cups in the basin in the +sink and let the water run. She turned to Janet and seized her hands +convulsively. + +"Let me do this, mother," said Janet. She knew her mother was thinking +of the newly-found joy that Lise's disgrace had marred, but she released +her hands, gently, and took the mop from the nail on which it hung. + +"You sit down, mother," she said. + +Hannah would not. They finished the dishes together in silence while the +light of the new day stole in through the windows. Janet went into her +room, set it in order, made up the bed, put on her coat and hat and +rubbers. Then she returned to Hannah, who seized her. + +"It ain't going to spoil your happiness?" + +But Janet could not answer. She kissed her mother, and went out, down +the stairs into the street. The day was sharp and cold and bracing, and +out of an azure sky the sun shone with dazzling brightness on the snow, +which the west wind was whirling into little eddies of white smoke, +leaving on the drifts delicate scalloped designs like those printed by +waves on the sands of the sea. They seemed to Janet that morning +hatefully beautiful. In front of his tin shop, whistling cheerfully and +labouring energetically with a shovel to clean his sidewalk, was Johnny +Tiernan, the tip of his pointed nose made very red by the wind. + +"Good morning, Miss Bumpus," he said. "Now, if you'd only waited awhile, +I'd have had it as clean as a parlour. It's fine weather for coal +bills." + +She halted. + +"Can I see you a moment, Mr. Tiernan?" + +Johnny looked at her. + +"Why sure," he said. Leaning his shovel against the wall, he gallantly +opened the door that she might pass in before him and then led the way to +the back of the shop where the stove was glowing hospitably. He placed a +chair for her. "Now what can I be doing to serve you?" he asked. + +"It's about my sister," said Janet. + +"Miss Lise?" + +"I thought you might know what man she's been going with lately," said +Janet. + +Mr. Tiernan had often wondered how much Janet knew about her sister. In +spite of a momentary embarrassment most unusual in him, the courage of +her question made a strong appeal, and his quick sympathies suspected the +tragedy behind her apparent calmness. He met her magnificently. + +"Why," he said, "I have seen Miss Lise with a fellow named Duval--Howard +Duval--when he's been in town. He travels for a Boston shoe house, +Humphrey and Gillmount." + +"I'm afraid Lise has gone away with him," said Janet. "I thought you +might be able to find out something about him, and--whether any one had +seen them. She left home yesterday morning." + +For an instant Mr. Tiernan stood silent before her, his legs apart, his +fingers running through his bristly hair. + +"Well, ye did right to come straight to me, Miss Janet. It's me that can +find out, if anybody can, and it's glad I am to help you. Just you stay +here--make yourself at home while I run down and see some of the boys. +I'll not be long--and don't be afraid I'll let on about it." + +He seized his overcoat and departed. Presently the sun, glinting on the +sheets of tin, started Janet's glance straying around the shop, noting +its disorderly details, the heaped-up stovepipes, the littered work-bench +with the shears lying across the vise. Once she thought of Ditmar +arriving at the office and wondering what had happened to her.... The +sound of a bell made her jump. Mr. Tiernan had returned. + +"She's gone with him," said Janet, not as a question, but as one stating +a fact. + +Mr. Tiernan nodded. + +"They took the nine-thirty-six for Boston yesterday morning. Eddy +Colahan was at the depot." + +Janet rose. "Thank you," she said simply. + +"What are you going to do?" he asked. + +"I'm going to Boston," she answered. "I'm going to find out where she +is." + +"Then it's me that's going with you," he announced. + +"Oh no, Mr. Tiernan!" she protested. "I couldn't let you do that." + +"And why not?" he demanded. "I've got a little business there myself. +I'm proud to go with you. It's your sister you want, isn't it?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, what would you be doing by yourself--a young lady? How will you +find your sister?" + +"Do you think you can find her?" + +"Sure I can find her," he proclaimed, confidently. He had evidently made +up his mind that casual treatment was what the affair demanded. "Haven't +I good friends in Boston?" By friendship he swayed his world: nor was he +completely unknown--though he did not say so--to certain influential +members of his race of the Boston police department. Pulling out a large +nickel watch and observing that they had just time to catch the train, he +locked up his shop, and they set out together for the station. Mr. +Tiernan led the way, for the path was narrow. The dry snow squeaked +under his feet. + +After escorting her to a seat on the train, he tactfully retired to the +smoking car, not to rejoin her until they were on the trestle spanning +the Charles River by the North Station. All the way to Boston she had +sat gazing out of the window at the blinding whiteness of the fields, +incapable of rousing herself to the necessity of thought, to a degree of +feeling commensurate with the situation. She did not know what she would +say to Lise if she should find her; and in spite of Mr. Tiernan's +expressed confidence, the chances of success seemed remote. When the +train began to thread the crowded suburbs, the city, spreading out over +its hills, instead of thrilling her, as yesterday, with a sense of +dignity and power, of opportunity and emancipation, seemed a labyrinth +with many warrens where vice and crime and sorrow could hide. In front +of the station the traffic was already crushing the snow into filth. +They passed the spot where, the night before, the carriage had stopped, +where Ditmar had bidden her good-bye. Something stirred within her, +became a shooting pain.... She asked Mr. Tiernan what he intended to do. + +"I'm going right after the man, if he's here in the city," he told her. +And they boarded a street car, which almost immediately shot into the +darkness of the subway. Emerging at Scollay Square, and walking a few +blocks, they came to a window where guns, revolvers, and fishing tackle +were displayed, and on which was painted the name, "Timothy Mulally." +Mr. Tiernan entered. + +"Is Tim in?" he inquired of one of the clerks, who nodded his head +towards the rear of the store, where a middle-aged, grey-haired Irishman +was seated at a desk under a drop light. + +"Is it you, Johnny?" he exclaimed, looking up. + +"It's meself," said Mr. Tiernan. "And this is Miss Bumpus, a young lady +friend of mine from Hampton." + +Mr. Mulally rose and bowed. + +"How do ye do, ma'am," he said. + +"I've got a little business to do for her," Mr. Tiernan continued. "I +thought you might offer her a chair and let her stay here, quiet, while I +was gone." + +"With pleasure, ma'am," Mr. Mulally replied, pulling forward a chair with +alacrity. "Just sit there comfortable--no one will disturb ye." + +When, in the course of half an hour, Mr. Tiernan returned, there was a +grim yet triumphant look in his little blue eyes, but it was not until +Janet had thanked Mr. Mulally for his hospitality and they had reached +the sidewalk that he announced the result of his quest. + +"Well, I caught him. It's lucky we came when we did--he was just going +out on the road again, up to Maine. I know where Miss Lise is." + +"He told you!" exclaimed Janet. + +"He told me indeed, but it wasn't any joy to him. He was all for +bluffing at first. It's easy to scare the likes of him. He was as white +as his collar before I was done with him. He knows who I am, all right +he's heard of me in Hampton," Mr. Tiernan added, with a pardonable touch +of pride. + +"What did you say?" inquired Janet, curiously. + +"Say?" repeated Mr. Tiernan. "It's not much I had to say, Miss Janet. I +was all ready to go to Mr. Gillmount, his boss. I'm guessing he won't +take much pleasure on this trip." + +She asked for no more details. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +Once more Janet and Mr. Tiernan descended into the subway, taking a car +going to the south and west, which finally came out of the tunnel into a +broad avenue lined with shabby shops, hotels and saloons, and long rows +of boarding--and rooming-houses. They alighted at a certain corner, +walked a little way along a street unkempt and dreary, Mr. Tiernan +scrutinizing the numbers until he paused in front of a house with a +basement kitchen and snow-covered, sandstone steps. Climbing these, he +pulled the bell, and they stood waiting in the twilight of a half-closed +vestibule until presently shuffling steps were heard within; the door was +cautiously opened, not more than a foot, but enough to reveal a woman in +a loose wrapper, with an untidy mass of bleached hair and a puffy face +like a fungus grown in darkness. + +"I want to see Miss Lise Bumpus," Mr. Tiernan demanded. + +"You've got the wrong place. There ain't no one of that name here," said +the woman. + +"There ain't! All right," he insisted aggressively, pushing open the +door in spite of her. "If you don't let this young lady see her quick, +there's trouble coming to you." + +"Who are you?" asked the woman, impudently, yet showing signs of fear. + +"Never mind who I am," Mr. Tiernan declared. "I know all about you, and +I know all about Duval. If you don't want any trouble you won't make +any, and you'll take this young lady to her sister. I'll wait here for +you, Miss Janet," he added. + +"I don't know nothing about her--she rented my room that's all I know," +the woman replied sullenly. "If you mean that couple that came here +yesterday--" + +She turned and led the way upstairs, mounting slowly, and Janet followed, +nauseated and almost overcome by the foul odours of dead cigarette smoke +which, mingling with the smell of cooking cabbage rising from below, +seemed the very essence and reek of hitherto unimagined evil. A terror +seized her such as she had never known before, an almost overwhelming +impulse to turn and regain the air and sunlight of the day. In the dark +hallway of the second story the woman knocked at the door of a front +room. + +"She's in there, unless she's gone out." And indeed a voice was heard +petulantly demanding what was wanted--Lise's voice! Janet hesitated, her +hand on the knob, her body fallen against the panels. Then, as she +pushed open the door, the smell of cigarette smoke grew stronger, and she +found herself in a large bedroom, the details of which were instantly +photographed on her mind--the dingy claret-red walls, the crayon over the +mantel of a buxom lady in a decollete costume of the '90's, the outspread +fan concealing the fireplace, the soiled lace curtains. The bed was +unmade, and on the table beside two empty beer bottles and glasses and +the remains of a box of candy--suggestive of a Sunday purchase at a drug +store--she recognized Lise's vanity case. The effect of all this, +integrated at a glance, was a paralyzing horror. Janet could not speak. +She remained gazing at Lise, who paid no attention to her entrance, but +stood with her back turned before an old-fashioned bureau with a marble +top and raised sides. She was dressed, and engaged in adjusting her hat. +It was not until Janet pronounced her name that she turned swiftly. + +"You!" she exclaimed. "What the--what brought you here?" + +"Oh, Lise!" Janet repeated. + +"How did you get here?" Lise demanded, coming toward her. "Who told you +where I was? What business have you got sleuthing 'round after me like +this?" + +For a moment Janet was speechless once more, astounded that Lise could +preserve her effrontery in such an atmosphere, could be insensible to the +evils lurking in this house--evils so real to Janet that she seemed +actually to feel them brushing against her. + +"Lise, come away from here," she pleaded, "come home with me!" + +"Home!" said Lise, defiantly, and laughed. "What do you take me for? +Why would I be going home when I've been trying to break away for two +years? I ain't so dippy as that--not me! Go home like a good little +girl and march back to the Bagatelle and ask 'em to give me another show +standing behind a counter all day. Nix! No home sweet home for me! I'm +all for easy street when it comes to a home like that." + +Heartless, terrific as the repudiation was, it struck a self-convicting, +almost sympathetic note in Janet. She herself had revolted against the +monotony and sordidness of that existence She herself ! She dared not +complete the thought, now. + +"But this!" she exclaimed. + +"What's the matter with it?" Lise demanded. "It ain't Commonwealth +Avenue, but it's got Fillmore Street beat a mile. There ain't no +whistles hereto get you out of bed at six a.m., for one thing. There +ain't no geezers, like Walters, to nag you 'round all day long. What's +the matter with it?" + +Something in Lise's voice roused Janet's spirit to battle. + +"What's the matter with it?" she cried. "It's hell--that's the matter +with it. Can't you see it? Can't you feel it? You don't know what it +means, or you'd come home with me." + +"I guess I know what it means as well as you do," said Lise, sullenly. +"We've all got to croak sometime, and I'd rather croak this way than be +smothered up in Hampton. I'll get a run for my money, anyway." + +"No, you don't know what it means," Janet repeated, "or you wouldn't talk +like that. Do you think this man will support you, stick to you? He +won't, he'll desert you, and you'll have to go on the streets." + +A dangerous light grew in Lise's eyes. + +"He's as good as any other man, he's as good as Ditmar," she said. +"They're all the same, to girls like us." + +Janet's heart caught, it seemed to stop beating. Was this a hazard on +Lise's part, or did she speak from knowledge? And yet what did it matter +whether Lise knew or only suspected, if her words were true, if men were +all alike? Had she been a dupe as well as Lise? and was the only +difference between them now the fact that Lise was able, without +illusion, to see things as they were, to accept the consequences, while +she, Janet, had beheld visions and dreamed dreams? was there any real +choice between the luxurious hotel to which Ditmar had taken her and this +detestable house? Suddenly, seemingly by chance, her eyes fell on the +box of drug-store candy from which the cheap red ribbon had been torn, +and by some odd association of ideas it suggested and epitomized Lise's +Sunday excursion with a mama hideous travesty on the journey of wonders +she herself had taken. Had that been heaven, and this of Lise's, +hell?... And was. Lise's ambition to be supported in idleness and +luxury to be condemned because she had believed her own to be higher? +Did not both lead to destruction? The weight that had lain on her breast +since the siren had awakened her that morning and she had reached out and +touched the chilled, empty sheets now grew almost unsupportable. + +"It's true," said Janet, "all men are the same." + +Lise was staring at her. + +"My God!" she exclaimed. "You?" + +"Yes-me," cried Janet.--"And what are you going to do about it? Stay +here with him in this filthy place until he gets tired of you and throws +you out on the street? Before I'd let any man do that to me I'd kill +him." + +Lise began to whimper, and suddenly buried her face in the pillow. But a +new emotion had begun to take possession of Janet--an emotion so strong +as to give her an unlookedfor sense of detachment. And the words Lise +had spoken between her sobs at first conveyed no meaning. + +"I'm going to have a baby...." + +Lise was going to have a child! Why hadn't she guessed it? A child! +Perhaps she, Janet, would have a child! This enlightenment as to Lise's +condition and the possibility it suggested in regard to herself brought +with it an overwhelming sympathy which at first she fiercely resented +then yielded to. The bond between them, instead of snapping, had +inexplicably strengthened. And Lise, despite her degradation, was more +than ever her sister! Forgetting her repugnance to the bed, Janet sat +down beside Lise and put an arm around her. + +"He said he'd marry me, he swore he was rich--and he was a spender all +right. And then some guy came up to me one night at Gruber's and told me +he was married already." + +"What?" Janet exclaimed. + +"Sure! He's got a wife and two kids here in Boston. That was a twenty- +one round knockout! Maybe I didn't have something to tell him when he +blew into Hampton last Friday! But he said he couldn't help it--he loved +me." Lise sat up, seemingly finding relief in the relation of her +wrongs, dabbing her eyes with a cheap lace handkerchief. "Well, while +he'd been away--this thing came. I didn't know what was the matter at +first, and when I found out I was scared to death, I was ready to kill +myself. When I told him he was scared too, and then he said he'd fix it. +Say, I was a goat to think he'd marry me!" Lise laughed hysterically. + +"And then--" Janet spoke with difficulty, "and then you came down here?" + +"I told him he'd have to see me through, I'd start something if he +didn't. Say, he almost got down on his knees, right there in Gruber's! +But he came back inside of ten seconds--he's a jollier, for sure, he was +right there with the goods, it was because he loved me, he couldn't help +himself, I was his cutie, and all that kind of baby talk." + +Lise's objective manner of speaking about her seducer amazed Janet. + +"Do you love him?" she asked. + +"Say, what is love?" Lise demanded. "Do you ever run into it outside of +the movies? Do I love him? Well, he's a good looker and a fancy +dresser, he ain't a tight wad, and he can start a laugh every minute. If +he hadn't put it over on me I wouldn't have been so sore. I don't know +he ain't so bad. He's weak, that's the trouble with him." + +This was the climax! Lise's mental processes, her tendency to pass from +wild despair to impersonal comment, her inability, her courtesan's +temperament that prevented her from realizing tragedy for more than a +moment at a time--even though the tragedy were her own--were +incomprehensible to Janet. + +"Get on to this," Lise adjured her. "When I first was acquainted with +him he handed me a fairy tale that he was taking five thousand a year +from Humphrey and Gillmount, he was going into the firm. He had me +razzle-dazzled. He's some hypnotizes as a salesman, too, they say. +Nothing was too good for me; I saw myself with a house on the avenue +shopping in a limousine. Well, he blew up, but I can't help liking him." + +"Liking him!" cried Janet passionately. "I'd kill him that's what I'd +do." + +Lise regarded her with unwilling admiration. + +"That's where you and me is different," she declared. "I wish I was like +that, but I ain't. And where would I come in? Now you're wise why I +can't go back to Hampton. Even if I was stuck on the burg and cryin' my +eyes out for the Bagatelle I couldn't go back." + +"What are you going to do?" Janet demanded. + +"Well," said Lise, "he's come across--I'll say that for him. Maybe it's +because he's scared, but he's stuck on me, too. When you dropped in I +was just going down town to get a pair of patent leathers, these are all +wore out," she explained, twisting her foot, "they ain't fit for Boston. +And I thought of lookin' at blouses--there's a sale on I was reading +about in the paper. Say, it's great to be on easy street, to be able to +stay in bed until you're good and ready to get up and go shopping, to +gaze at the girls behind the counter and ask the price of things. I'm +going to Walling's and give the salesladies the ha-ha--that's what I'm +going to do." + +"But--?" Janet found words inadequate. + +Lise understood her. + +"Oh, I'm due at the doctor's this afternoon." + +"Where?" + +"The doctor's. Don't you get me?--it's a private hospital." Lise gave a +slight shudder at the word, but instantly recovered her sang-froid. +"Howard fixed it up yesterday--and they say it ain't very bad if you take +it early." + +For a space Janet was too profoundly shocked to reply. + +"Lise! That's a crime!" she cried. + +"Crime, nothing!" retorted Lise, and immediately became indignant. +"Say, I sometimes wonder how you could have lived all these years without +catching on to a few things! What do you take me for! What'd I do with +a baby?" + +What indeed! The thought came like an avalanche, stripping away the +veneer of beauty from the face of the world, revealing the scarred rock +and crushed soil beneath. This was reality! What right had society to +compel a child to be born to degradation and prostitution? to beget, +perhaps, other children of suffering? Were not she and Lise of the +exploited, of those duped and tempted by the fair things the more +fortunate enjoyed unscathed? And now, for their natural cravings, their +family must be disgraced, they must pay the penalty of outcasts! Neither +Lise nor she had had a chance. She saw that, now. The scorching +revelation of life's injustice lighted within her the fires of anarchy +and revenge. Lise, other women might submit tamely to be crushed, might +be lulled and drugged by bribes: she would not. A wild desire seized her +to get back to Hampton. + +"Give me the address of the hospital," she said. + +"Come off!" cried Lise, in angry bravado. "Do you think I'm going to let +you butt into this? I guess you've got enough to do to look out for your +own business." + +Janet produced a pencil from her bag, and going to the table tore off a +piece of the paper in which had been wrapped the candy box. + +"Give me the address," she insisted. + +"Say, what are you going to do?" + +"I want to know where you are, in case anything happens to you." + +"Anything happens! What do you mean?" Janet's words had frightened +Lise, the withdrawal of Janet's opposition bewildered her. But above +all, she was cowed by the sudden change in Janet herself, by the attitude +of steely determination eloquent of an animus persons of Lise's type are +incapable of feeling, and which to them is therefore incomprehensible. +"Nothing's going to happen to me," she whined. "The place is all right-- +he'd be scared to send me there if it wasn't. It costs something, too. +Say, you ain't going to tell 'em at home?" she cried with a fresh access +of alarm. + +"If you do as I say, I won't tell anybody," Janet replied, in that odd, +impersonal tone her voice had acquired. "You must write me as soon--as +soon as it is over. Do you understand?" + +"Honest to God I will," Lise assured her. + +"And you mustn't come back to a house like this." + +"Where'll I go?" Lise asked. + +"I don't know. We'll find out when the time comes," said Janet, +significantly. + +"You've seen him!" Lise exclaimed. + +"No," said Janet, "and I don't want to see him unless I have to. Mr. +Tiernan has seen him. Mr. Tiernan is downstairs now, waiting for me." + +"Johnny Tiernan! Is Johnny Tiernan downstairs?" + +Janet wrote the address, and thrust the slip of paper in her bag. + +"Good-bye, Lise," she said. "I'll come down again I'll come down +whenever you want me." Lise suddenly seized her and clung to her, +sobbing. For a while Janet submitted, and then, kissing her, gently +detached herself. She felt, indeed, pity for Lise, but something within +her seemed to have hardened--something that pity could not melt, +possessing her and thrusting heron to action. She knew not what action. +So strong was this thing that it overcame and drove off the evil spirits +of that darkened house as she descended the stairs to join Mr. Tiernan, +who opened the door for her to pass out. Once in the street, she +breathed deeply of the sunlit air. Nor did she observe Mr. Tiernan's +glance of comprehension.... When they arrived at the North Station he +said:-- + +"You'll be wanting a bite of dinner, Miss Janet," and as she shook her +head he did not press her to eat. He told her that a train for Hampton +left in ten minutes. "I think I'll stay in Boston the rest of the day, +as long as I'm here," he added. + +She remembered that she had not thanked him, she took his hand, but he +cut her short. + +"It's glad I was to help you," he assured her. "And if there's anything +more I can do, Miss Janet, you'll be letting me know--you'll call on +Johnny Tiernan, won't you?" + +He left her at the gate. He had intruded with no advice, he had offered +no comment that she had come downstairs alone, without Lise. His +confidence in her seemed never to have wavered. He had respected, +perhaps partly imagined her feelings, and in spite of these now a sense +of gratitude to him stole over her, mitigating the intensity of their +bitterness. Mr. Tiernan alone seemed stable in a chaotic world. He was +a man. + +No sooner was she in the train, however, than she forgot Mr. Tiernan +utterly. Up to the present the mental process of dwelling upon her own +experience of the last three months had been unbearable, but now she was +able to take a fearful satisfaction in the evolving of parallels between +her case and Lise's. Despite the fact that the memories she had +cherished were now become hideous things, she sought to drag them forth +and compare them, ruthlessly, with what must have been the treasures of +Lise. Were her own any less tawdry? Only she, Janet, had been the +greater fool of the two, the greater dupe because she had allowed herself +to dream, to believe that what she had done had been for love, for light! +because she had not listened to the warning voice within her! It had +always been on the little, unpremeditated acts of Ditmar that she had +loved to linger, and now, in the light of Lise's testimony, of Lise's +experience, she saw them all as false. It seemed incredible, now, that +she had ever deceived herself into thinking that Ditmar meant to marry +her, that he loved her enough to make her his wife. Nor was it necessary +to summon and marshal incidents to support this view, they came of +themselves, crowding one another, a cumulative and appalling array of +evidence, before which she stood bitterly amazed at her former stupidity. +And in the events of yesterday, which she pitilessly reviewed, she beheld +a deliberate and prearranged plan for her betrayal. Had he not +telephoned to Boston for the rooms, rehearsed in his own mind every +detail of what had subsequently happened? Was there any essential +difference between the methods of Ditmar and Duval? Both were skilled in +the same art, and Ditmar was the cleverer of the two. It had only needed +her meeting with Lise, in that house, to reveal how he had betrayed her +faith and her love, sullied and besmirched them. And then came the odd +reflection,--how strange that that same Sunday had been so fateful for +herself and Lise! + +The agony of these thoughts was mitigated by the scorehing hatred that +had replaced her love, the desire for retaliation, revenge. +Occasionally, however, that stream of consciousness was broken by the +recollection of what she had permitted and even advised her sister to do; +and though the idea of the place to which Lise was going sickened her, +though she achieved a certain objective amazement at the transformation +in herself enabling her to endorse such a course, she was glad of having +endorsed it, she rejoiced that Lise's child would not be born into a +world that had seemed--so falsely--fair and sweet, and in reality was +black and detestable. Her acceptance of the act--for Lise--was a +function of the hatred consuming her, a hatred which, growing in bigness, +had made Ditmar merely the personification of that world. From time to +time her hands clenched, her brow furrowed, powerful waves of heat ran +through her, the craving for action became so intense she could scarcely +refrain from rising in her seat. + +By some odd whim of the weather the wind had backed around into the east, +gathering the clouds once more. The brilliancy of the morning had given +place to greyness, the high slits of windows seemed dirtier than ever as +the train pulled into the station at Hampton, shrouded in Gothic gloom. +As she left the car Janet was aware of the presence on the platform of an +unusual number of people; she wondered vaguely, as she pushed her way +through them, why they were there, what they were talking about? One +determination possessed her, to go to the Chippering Mill, to Ditmar. +Emerging from the street, she began to walk rapidly, the change from +inaction to exercise bringing a certain relief, starting the working of +her mind, arousing in her a realization of the necessity of being +prepared for the meeting. Therefore, instead of turning at Faber Street, +she crossed it. But at the corner of the Common she halted, her glance +drawn by a dark mass of people filling the end of Hawthorne Street, where +it was blocked by the brick-coloured facade of the Clarendon Mill. In +the middle distance men and boys were running to join this crowd. A +girl, evidently an Irish-American mill hand of the higher paid sort, +hurried toward her from the direction of the mill itself. Janet accosted +her. + +"It's the strike," she explained excitedly, evidently surprised at the +question. "The Polaks and the Dagoes and a lot of other foreigners quit +when they got their envelopes--stopped their looms and started through +the mill, and when they came into our room I left. I didn't want no +trouble with 'em. It's the fifty-four hour law--their pay's cut two +hours. You've heard about it, I guess." + +Janet nodded. + +"They had a big mass meeting last night in Maxwell Hall," the girl +continued, "the foreigners--not the skilled workers. And they voted to +strike. They tell me they're walking out over at the Patuxent, too." + +"And the Chippering?" asked Janet, eagerly. + +"I don't know--I guess it'll spread to all of 'em, the way these +foreigners are going on--they're crazy. But say," the girl added, "it +ain't right to cut our pay, either, is it? They never done it two years +ago when the law came down to fifty-six." + +Janet did not wait to reply. While listening to this explanation, +excitement had been growing in her again, and some fearful, overpowering +force of attraction emanating from that swarm in the distance drew her +until she yielded, fairly running past the rows of Italian tenements in +their strange setting of snow, not to pause until she reached the fruit +shop where she and Eda had eaten the olives. Now she was on the +outskirts of the crowd that packed itself against the gates of the +Clarendon. It spread over the width of East Street, growing larger every +minute, until presently she was hemmed in. Here and there hoarse shouts +of approval and cheers arose in response to invisible orators haranging +their audiences in weird, foreign tongues; tiny American flags were +waved; and suddenly, in one of those unforeseen and incomprehensible +movements to which mobs are subject, a trolley car standing at the end of +the Hawthorne Street track was surrounded, the desperate clanging of its +bell keeping pace with the beating of Janet's heart. A dark Sicilian, +holding aloft the green, red, and white flag of Italy, leaped on the rear +platform and began to speak, the Slav conductor regarding him stupidly, +pulling the bellcord the while. Three or four policemen fought their way +to the spot, striving to clear the tracks, bewildered and impotent in the +face of the alien horde momentarily growing more and more conscious of +power. + +Janet pushed her way deeper and deeper into the crowd. She wanted to +savour to the full its wrath and danger, to surrender herself to be +played upon by these sallow, stubbybearded exhorters, whose menacing +tones and passionate gestures made a grateful appeal, whose wild, musical +words, just because they were uncomprehended, aroused in her dim +suggestions of a race-experience not her own, but in which she was now +somehow summoned to share. That these were the intruders whom she, as a +native American, had once resented and despised did not occur to her. +The racial sense so strong in her was drowned in a sense of fellowship. +Their anger seemed to embody and express, as nothing else could have +done, the revolt that had been rising, rising within her soul; and the +babel to which she listened was not a confusion of tongues, but one voice +lifted up to proclaim the wrongs of all the duped, of all the exploited +and oppressed. She was fused with them, their cause was her cause, their +betrayers her betrayers. + +Suddenly was heard the cry for which she had been tensely but +unconsciously awaiting. Another cry like that had rung out in another +mob across the seas more than a century before. "Ala Bastille!" became +"To the Chippering!" Some man shouted it out in shrill English, hundreds +repeated it; the Sicilian leaped from the trolley car, and his path could +be followed by the agitated progress of the alien banner he bore. "To +the Chippering!" It rang in Janet's ears like a call to battle. Was she +shouting it, too? A galvanic thrill ran through the crowd, an impulse +that turned their faces and started their steps down East Street toward +the canal, and Janet was irresistibly carried along. Nay, it seemed as +if the force that second by second gained momentum was in her, that she +herself had released and was guiding it! Her feet were wet as she +ploughed through the trampled snow, but she gave no thought to that. The +odour of humanity was in her nostrils. On the left a gaunt Jew pressed +against her, on the right a solid Ruthenian woman, one hand clasping her +shawl, the other holding aloft a miniature emblem of New World liberty. +Her eyes were fixed on the grey skies, and from time to time her lips +were parted in some strange, ancestral chant that could be heard above +the shouting. All about Janet were dark, awakening faces.... + +It chanced that an American, a college graduate, stood gazing down from a +point of vantage upon this scene. He was ignorant of anthropology, +psychology, and the phenomena of environment; but bits of "knowledge"-- +which he embodied in a newspaper article composed that evening stuck wax- +like in his brain. Not thus, he deplored, was the Anglo-Saxon wont to +conduct his rebellions. These Czechs and Slavs, Hebrews and Latins and +Huns might have appropriately been clad in the skins worn by the hordes +of Attila. Had they not been drawn hither by the renown of the +Republic's wealth? And how essentially did they differ from those other +barbarians before whose bewildered, lustful gaze had risen the glittering +palaces on the hills of the Tiber? The spoils of Rome! The spoils of +America! They appeared to him ferocious, atavistic beasts as they broke +into the lumberyard beneath his window to tear the cord-wood from the +piles and rush out again, armed with billets.... + +Janet, in the main stream sweeping irresistibly down the middle of the +street, was carried beyond the lumberyard into the narrow roadway beside +the canal--presently to find herself packed in the congested mass in +front of the bridge that led to the gates of the Chippering Mill. Across +the water, above the angry hum of human voices could be heard the +whirring of the looms, rousing the mob to a higher pitch of fury. The +halt was for a moment only. The bridge rocked beneath the weight of +their charge, they battered at the great gates, they ran along the snow- +filled tracks by the wall of the mill. Some, in a frenzy of passion, +hurled their logs against the windows; others paused, seemingly to +measure the distance and force of the stroke, thus lending to their act a +more terrible and deliberate significance. A shout of triumph announced +that the gates, like a broken dam, had given way, and the torrent poured +in between the posts, flooding the yard, pressing up the towered +stairways and spreading through the compartments of the mill. More +ominous than the tumult seemed the comparative silence that followed this +absorption of the angry spirits of the mob. Little by little, as the +power was shut off, the antiphonal throbbing of the looms was stilled. +Pinioned against the parapet above the canal--almost on that very spot +where, the first evening, she had met Ditmar--Janet awaited her chance to +cross. Every crashing window, every resounding blow on the panels gave +her a fierce throb of joy. She had not expected the gates to yield--her +father must have insecurely fastened them. Gaining the farther side of +the canal, she perceived him flattened against the wall of the gatehouse +shaking his fist in the faces of the intruders, who rushed past him +unheeding. His look arrested her. His face was livid, his eyes were red +with anger, he stood transformed by a passion she had not believed him to +possess. She had indeed heard him give vent to a mitigated indignation +against foreigners in general, but now the old-school Americanism in +which he had been bred, the Americanism of individual rights, of respect +for the convention of property, had suddenly sprung into flame. He was +ready to fight for it, to die for it. The curses he hurled at these +people sounded blasphemous in Janet's ears. + +"Father!" she cried. "Father!" + +He looked at her uncomprehendingly, seemingly failing to recognize her. + +"What are you doing here?" he demanded, seizing her and attempting to +draw her to the wall beside him. But she resisted. There sprang from +her lips an unpremeditated question: "Where is Mr. Ditmar?" She was, +indeed, amazed at having spoken it. + +"I don't know," Edward replied distractedly. "We've been looking for him +everywhere. My God, to think that this should happen with me at the +gates!" he lamented. "Go home, Janet. You can't tell what'll happen, +what these fiends will do, you may get hurt. You've got no business +here." Catching sight of a belated and breathless policeman, he turned +from her in desperation. "Get 'em out! Far God's sake, can't you get +'em out before they ruin the machines?" + +But Janet waited no longer. Pushing her way frantically through the +people filling the yard she climbed the tower stairs and made her way +into one of the spinning rooms. The frames were stilled, the overseer +and second hands, thrust aside, looked on helplessly while the intruders +harangued, cajoled or threatened the operatives, some of whom were cowed +and already departing; others, sullen and resentful, remained standing in +the aisles; and still others seemed to have caught the contagion of the +strike. Suddenly, with reverberating strokes, the mill bells rang out, +the electric gongs chattered, the siren screeched, drowning the voices. +Janet did not pause, but hurried from room to room until, in passing +through an open doorway in the weaving department she ran into Mr. +Caldwell. He halted a moment, in surprise at finding her there, calling +her by name. She clung to his sleeve, and again she asked the question:-- + +"Where's Mr. Ditmar?" + +Caldwell shook his head. His answer was the same as Edward's. "I don't +know," he shouted excitedly above the noise. "We've got to get this mob +out before they do any damage." + +He tore himself away, she saw him expostulating with the overseer, and +then she went on. These tower stairs, she remembered, led to a yard +communicating by a little gate with the office entrance. The door of the +vestibule was closed, but the watchman, Simmons, recognizing her, +permitted her to enter. The offices were deserted, silent, for the bells +and the siren had ceased their clamour; the stenographers and clerks had +gone. The short day was drawing to a close, shadows were gathering in +the corners of Ditmar's room as she reached the threshold and gazed about +her at the objects there so poignantly familiar. She took off her coat. +His desk was littered with books and papers, and she started, +mechanically, to set it in order, replacing the schedule books on the +shelves, sorting out the letters and putting them in the basket. She +could not herself have told why she should take up again these trivial +tasks as though no cataclysmic events had intervened to divide forever +the world of yesterday from that of to-morrow. With a movement +suggestive of tenderness she was picking up Ditmar's pen to set it in the +glass rack when her ear caught the sound of voices, and she stood +transfixed, listening intently. There were footsteps in the corridor, +the voices came nearer; one, loud and angered, she detected above the +others. It was Ditmar's! Nothing had happened to him! Dropping the +pen, she went over to the window, staring out over the grey waters, +trembling so violently that she could scarcely stand. + +She did not look around when they entered the room Ditmar, Caldwell, +Orcutt, and evidently a few watchmen and overseers. Some one turned on +the electric switch, darkening the scene without. Ditmar continued to +speak in vehement tones of uncontrolled rage. + +"Why in hell weren't those gates bolted tight?" he demanded. "That's +what I want to know! There was plenty of time after they turned the +corner of East Street. You might have guessed what they would do. But +instead of that you let 'em into the mill to shut off the power and +intimidate our own people." He called the strikers an unprintable name, +and though Janet stood, with her back turned, directly before him, he +gave no sign of being aware of her presence. + +"It wasn't the gatekeeper's fault," she heard Orcutt reply in a tone +quivering with excitement and apprehension. "They really didn't give us +a chance--that's the truth. They were down Canal Street and over the +bridge before we knew it." + +"It's just as I've said a hundred times," Ditmar retorted. "I can't +afford to leave this mill a minute, I can't trust anybody --" and he +broke out in another tirade against the intruders. "By God, I'll fix 'em +for this--I'll crush 'em. And if any operatives try to walkout here I'll +see that they starve before they get back--after all I've done for 'em, +kept the mill going in slack times just to give 'em work. If they desert +me now, when I've got this Bradlaugh order on my hands--" Speech became +an inadequate expression of his feelings, and suddenly his eye fell on +Janet. She had turned, but her look made no impression on him. "Call up +the Chief of Police," he said. + +Automatically she obeyed, getting the connection and handing him the +receiver, standing by while he denounced the incompetence of the +department for permitting the mob to gather in East Street and demanded +deputies. The veins of his forehead were swollen as he cut short the +explanations of the official and asked for the City Hall. In making an +appointment with the Mayor he reflected on the management of the city +government. And when Janet by his command obtained the Boston office, he +gave the mill treasurer a heated account of the afternoon's occurrences, +explaining circumstantially how, in his absence at a conference in the +Patuxent Mill, the mob had gathered in East Street and attacked the +Chippering; and he urged the treasurer to waste no time in obtaining a +force of detectives, in securing in Boston and New York all the +operatives that could be hired, in order to break the impending strike. +Save for this untimely and unreasonable revolt he was bent on stamping +out, for Ditmar the world to-day was precisely the same world it had been +the day before. It seemed incredible to Janet that he could so regard +it, could still be blind to the fact that these workers whom he was +determined to starve and crush if they dared to upset his plans and +oppose his will were human beings with wills and passions and grievances +of their own. Until to-day her eyes had been sealed. In agony they had +been opened to the panorama of sorrow and suffering, of passion and evil; +and what she beheld now as life was a vast and terrible cruelty. She had +needed only this final proof to be convinced that in his eyes she also +was but one of those brought into the world to minister to his pleasure +and profit. He had taken from her, as his weed, the most precious thing +a woman has to give, and now that she was here again at his side, by some +impulse incomprehensible to herself--in spite of the wrong he had done +her!--had sought him out in danger, he had no thought of her, no word for +her, no use save a menial one: he cared nothing for any help she might be +able to give, he had no perception of the new light which had broken +within her soul.... The telephoning seemed interminable, yet she waited +with a strange patience while he talked with Mr. George Chippering and +two of the most influential directors. These conversations had covered +the space of an hour or more. And perhaps as a result of self- +suggestion, of his repeated assurances to Mr. Semple, to Mr. Chippering, +and the directors of his ability to control the situation, Ditmar's +habitual self-confidence was gradually restored. And when at last he +hung up the instrument and turned to her, though still furious against +the strikers, his voice betrayed the joy of battle, the assurance of +victory. + +"They can't bluff me, they'll have to guess again. It's that damned +Holster--he hasn't any guts--he'd give in to 'em right now if I'd let +him. It's the limit the way he turned the Clarendon over to them. I'll +show him how to put a crimp in 'em if they don't turn up here to-morrow +morning." + +He was so magnificently sure of her sympathy! She did, not reply, but +picked up her coat from the chair where she had laid it. + +"Where are you going?" he demanded. And she replied laconically, +"Home." + +"Wait a minute," he said, rising and taking a step toward her. + +"You have an appointment with the Mayor," she reminded him. + +"I know," he said, glancing at the clock over the door. " Where have you +been? --where were you this morning? I was worried about you, I--I was +afraid you might be sick." + +"Were you?" she said. "I'm all right. I had business in Boston." + +"Why didn't you telephone me? In Boston?" he repeated. + +She nodded. He started forward again, but she avoided him. + +"What's the matter?" he cried. "I've been worried about you all day-- +until this damned strike broke loose. I was afraid something had +happened." + +"You might have asked my father," she said. + +"For God's sake, tell me what's the matter!" + +His desire for her mounted as his conviction grew more acute that +something had happened to disturb a relationship which, he had +congratulated himself, after many vicissitudes and anxieties had at last +been established. He was conscious, however, of irritation because this +whimsical and unanticipated grievance of hers should have developed at +the moment when the caprice of his operatives threatened to interfere +with his cherished plans--for Ditmar measured the inconsistencies of +humanity by the yardstick of his desires. Her question as to why he had +not made inquiries of her father added a new element to his disquietude. +As he stood thus, worried, exasperated, and perplexed, the fact that +there was in her attitude something ominous, dangerous, was slow to dawn +on him. His faculties were wholly unprepared for the blow she struck +him. + +"I hate you!" she said. She did not raise her voice, but the deliberate, +concentrated conviction she put into the sentence gave it the dynamic +quality of a bullet. And save for the impact of it--before which he +physically recoiled--its import was momentarily without meaning. + +"What?" he exclaimed, stupidly. + +"I might have known you never meant to marry me," she went on. Her hands +were busy with the buttons of her coat. + +"All you want is to use me, to enjoy me and turn me out when you get +tired of me--the way you've done with other women. It's just the same +with these mill hands, they're not human beings to you, they're--they're +cattle. If they don't do as you like, you turn them out; you say they +can starve for all you care." + +"For God's sake, what do you mean?" he demanded. "What have I done to +you, Janet? I love you, I need you!" + +"Love me!" she repeated. "I know how men of your sort love--I've seen +it--I know. As long as I give you what you want and don't bother you, +you love me. And I know how these workers feel," she cried, with sudden, +passionate vehemence. "I never knew before, but I know now. I've been +with them, I marched up here with them from the Clarendon when they +battered in the gates and smashed your windows--and I wanted to smash +your windows, too, to blow up your mill." + +"What are you saying? You came here with the strikers? you were with +that mob?" asked Ditmar, astoundedly. + +"Yes, I was in that mob. I belong there, with them, I tell you--I don't +belong here, with you. But I was a fool even then, I was afraid they'd +hurt you, I came into the mill to find you, and you--and you you acted as +if you'd never seen me before. I was a fool, but I'm glad I came--I'm +glad I had a chance to tell you this." + +"My God--won't you trust me?" he begged, with a tremendous effort to +collect himself. "You trusted me yesterday. What's happened to change +you? Won't you tell me? It's nothing I've done--I swear. And what do +you mean when you say you were in that mob? I was almost crazy when I +came back and found they'd been here in this mill--can't you understand? +It wasn't that I didn't think of you. I'd been worrying about you all +day. Look at this thing sensibly. I love you, I can't get along without +you--I'll marry you. I said I would, I meant it I'll marry you just as +soon as I can clean up this mess of a strike. It won't take long." + +"Don't touch me!" she commanded, and he recoiled again. "I'll tell you +where I've been, if you want to know,--I've been to see my sister in--in +a house, in Boston. I guess you know what kind of a house I mean, you've +been in them, you've brought women to them,--just like the man that +brought her there. Would you marry me now--with my sister there? And am +I any different from her? You you've made me just like her." Her voice +had broken, now, into furious, uncontrolled weeping--to which she paid no +heed. + +Ditmar was stunned; he could only stare at her. + +"If I have a child," she said, "I'll--I'll kill you--I'll kill myself." + +And before he could reply--if indeed he had been able to reply--she had +left the office and was running down the stairs.... + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +What was happening to Hampton? Some hundreds of ignorant foreigners, +dissatisfied with the money in their pay envelopes, had marched out of +the Clarendon Mill and attacked the Chippering and behold, the revered +structure of American Government had quivered and tumbled down like a +pack of cards! Despite the feverish assurances in the Banner "extra" +that the disturbance was merely local and temporary, solid citizens +became panicky, vaguely apprehending the release of elemental forces +hitherto unrecognized and unknown. Who was to tell these solid, educated +business men that the crazy industrial Babel they had helped to rear, and +in which they unconsciously dwelt, was no longer the simple edifice they +thought it? that Authority, spelled with a capital, was a thing of the +past? that human instincts suppressed become explosives to displace the +strata of civilization and change the face of the world? that conventions +and institutions, laws and decrees crumble before the whirlwind of human +passions? that their city was not of special, but of universal +significance? And how were these, who still believed themselves to be +dwelling under the old dispensation, to comprehend that environments +change, and changing demand new and terrible Philosophies? When night +fell on that fateful Tuesday the voice of Syndicalism had been raised in +a temple dedicated to ordered, Anglo-Saxon liberty--the Hampton City +Hall. + +Only for a night and a day did the rebellion lack both a leader and a +philosophy. Meanwhile, in obedience to the unerring instinct for drama +peculiar to great metropolitan dailies, newspaper correspondents were +alighting from every train, interviewing officials and members of labour +unions and mill agents: interviewing Claude Ditmar, the strongest man in +Hampton that day. He at least knew what ought to be done, and even +before his siren broke the silence of the morning hours in vigorous and +emphatic terms he had informed the Mayor and Council of their obvious +duty. These strikers were helots, unorganized scum; the regular unions-- +by comparison respectable--held aloof from them. Here, in effect, was +his argument: a strong show of force was imperative; if the police and +deputies were inadequate, request the Governor to call out the local +militia; but above all, waste no time, arrest the ringleaders, the +plotters, break up all gatherings, keep the streets clear. He demanded +from the law protection of his property, protection for those whose right +to continue at work was inalienable. He was listened to with sympathy +and respect--but nothing was done! The world had turned upside down +indeed if the City Government of Hampton refused to take the advice of +the agent of the Chippering Mill! American institutions were a failure! +But such was the fact. Some unnamed fear, outweighing their dread of the +retributions of Capital, possessed these men, made them supine, derelict +in the face of their obvious duty. + +By the faint grey light of that bitter January morning Ditmar made his +way to the mill. In Faber Street dark figures flitted silently across +the ghostly whiteness of the snow, and gathered in groups on the corners; +seeking to avoid these, other figures hurried along the sidewalks close +to the buildings, to be halted, accosted, pleaded with--threatened, +perhaps. Picketing had already begun! The effect of this pantomime of +the eternal struggle for survivals which he at first beheld from a +distance, was to exaggerate appallingly the emptiness of the wide street, +to emphasize the absence of shoppers and vehicles; and a bluish darkness +lurked in the stores, whose plate glass windows were frosted in quaint +designs. Where were the police? It was not fear that Ditmar felt, he +was galvanized and dominated by anger, by an overwhelming desire for +action; physical combat would have brought him relief, and as he +quickened his steps he itched to seize with his own hands these +foreigners who had dared to interfere with his cherished plans, who had +had the audacity to challenge the principles of his government which +welcomed them to its shores. He would have liked to wring their necks. +His philosophy, too, was environmental. And beneath this wrath, +stimulating and energizing it the more, was the ache in his soul from the +loss for which he held these enemies responsible. Two days ago happiness +and achievement had both been within his grasp. The only woman--so now +it seemed--he had ever really wanted! What had become of her? What +obscure and passionate impulse had led her suddenly to defy and desert +him, to cast in her lot with these insensate aliens? A hundred times +during the restless, inactive hours of a sleepless night this question +had intruded itself in the midst of his scheming to break the strike, as +he reviewed, word by word, act by act, that almost incomprehensible +revolt of hers which had followed so swiftly--a final, vindictive blow of +fate--on that other revolt of the workers. At moments he became +confused, unable to separate the two. He saw her fire in that other.... +Her sister, she had said, had been disgraced; she had defied him to marry +her in the face of that degradation--and this suddenly had sickened him. +He had let her go. What a fool he had been to let her go! Had she +herself been--! He did not finish this thought. Throughout the long +night he had known, for a certainty, that this woman was a vital part of +him, flame of his flame. Had he never seen her he would have fought +these strikers to their knees, but now the force of this incentive was +doubled. He would never yield until he had crushed them, until he had +reconquered her. + +He was approaching one of the groups of strikers, and unconsciously he +slowed his steps. The whites of his eyes reddened. The great coat of +golden fur he wore gave to his aspect an added quality of formidableness. +There were some who scattered as he drew near, and of the less timorous +spirits that remained only a few raised dark, sullen glances to encounter +his, which was unflinching, passionately contemptuous. Throughout the +countless generations that lay behind them the instinct of submission had +played its dominant, phylogenetic role. He was the Master. The journey +across the seas had not changed that. A few shivered--not alone because +they were thinly clad. He walked on, slowly, past other groups, turned +the corner of West Street, where the groups were more numerous, while the +number of those running the gantlet had increased. And he heard, twice +or thrice, the word "Scab!" cried out menacingly. His eyes grew redder +still as he spied a policeman standing idly in a doorway. + +"Why in hell don't you do your duty?" he demanded. "What do you mean by +letting them interfere with these workers?" + +The man flinched. He was apologetic. "So long as they're peaceable, Mr. +Ditmar--those are my orders. I do try to keep 'em movin'." + +"Your orders? You're a lot of damned cowards," Ditmar replied, and went +on. There were mutterings here; herded together, these slaves were +bolder; and hunger and cold, discouragement at not being able to stop the +flow toward the mills were having their effect. By the frozen canal, the +scene of the onslaught of yesterday, the crowd had grown comparatively +thick, and at the corner of the lodginghouse row Ditmar halted a moment, +unnoticed save by a few who nudged one another and murmured. He gave +them no attention, he was trying to form an estimate of the effect of the +picketing on his own operatives. Some came with timid steps; others, +mostly women, fairly ran; still others were self-possessed, almost +defiant--and such he marked. There were those who, when the picketers +held them by the sleeve, broke precipitately from their annoyers, and +those who hesitated, listening with troubled faces, with feelings torn +between dread of hunger for themselves and their children and sympathy +with the revolt. A small number joined the ranks of the picketers. +Ditmar towered above these foreigners, who were mostly undersized: a +student of human nature and civilization, free from industrial complexes, +would from that point of vantage have had much to gather from the +expressions coming within his view, but to Ditmar humanity was a means to +an end. Suddenly, from the cupolas above the battlement of the mill, the +bells shattered the early morning air, the remnant of the workers +hastened across the canal and through the guarded gates, which were +instantly closed. Ditmar was left alone among the strikers. As he moved +toward the bridge they made a lane for him to pass; one or two he thrust +out of his way. But there were mutterings, and from the sidewalk he +heard a man curse him. + +Perhaps we shall understand some day that the social body, also, is +subject to the operation of cause and effect. It was not what an +ingenuous orthodoxy, keeping alive the fate of the ancient city from +which Lot fled, would call the wrath of heaven that visited Hampton, +although a sermon on these lines was delivered from more than one of her +pulpits on the following Sunday. Let us surmise, rather, that a decrepit +social system in a moment of lowered vitality becomes an easy prey to +certain diseases which respectable communities are not supposed to have. +The germ of a philosophy evolved in decadent Europe flies across the sea +to prey upon a youthful and vigorous America, lodging as host wherever +industrial strife has made congenial soil. In four and twenty hours +Hampton had "caught" Syndicalism. All day Tuesday, before the true +nature of the affection was developed, prominent citizens were outraged +and appalled by the supineness of their municipal phagocytes. Property, +that sacred fabric of government, had been attacked and destroyed, law +had been defied, and yet the City Hall, the sanctuary of American +tradition, was turned over to the alien mob for a continuous series of +mass meetings. All day long that edifice, hitherto chastely familiar +with American doctrine alone, with patriotic oratory, with perorations +that dwelt upon the wrongs and woes of Ireland--part of our national +propaganda--all day long that edifice rang with strange, exotic speech, +sometimes guttural, often musical, but always impassioned, weirdly +cadenced and intoned. From the raised platform, in place of the shrewd, +matter-of-fact New England politician alive to the vote--getting powers +of Fourth of July patriotism, in place of the vehement but fun-loving son +of Erin, men with wild, dark faces, with burning black eyes and unkempt +hair, unshaven, flannel skirted--made more alien, paradoxically, by their +conventional, ready-made American clothes--gave tongue to the +inarticulate aspirations of the peasant drudge of Europe. From lands +long steeped in blood they came, from low countries by misty northern +seas, from fair and ancient plains of Lombardy, from Guelph and +Ghibelline hamlets in the Apennines, from vine-covered slopes in Sicily +and Greece; from the Balkans, from Caucasus and Carpathia, from the +mountains of Lebanon, whose cedars lined the palaces of kings; and from +villages beside swollen rivers that cross the dreary steppes. Each +peasant listened to a recital in his own tongue--the tongue in which the +folklore, the cradle sayings of his race had been preserved--of the +common wrongs of all, of misery still present, of happiness still +unachieved in this land of liberty and opportunity they had found a +mockery; to appeals to endure and suffer for a common cause. But who was +to weld together this medley of races and traditions, to give them the +creed for which their passions were prepared, to lead into battle these +ignorant and unskilled from whom organized labour held aloof? Even as +dusk was falling, even as the Mayor, the Hon. Michael McGrath, was making +from the platform an eloquent plea for order and peace, promising a +Committee of Arbitration and thinking about soldiers, the leader and the +philosophy were landing in Hampton. + +The "five o'clock" edition of the Banner announced him, Antonio +Antonelli, of the Industrial Workers of the World! An ominous name, an +ominous title,--compared by a wellknown publicist to the sound of a fire- +bell in the night. The Industrial Workers, not of America, but of the +World! No wonder it sent shivers down the spine of Hampton! The writer +of the article in the Banner was unfamiliar with the words "syndicalism" +and "sabotage," or the phrase "direct action," he was too young to know +the history of the Knights, he had never heard of a philosophy of labour, +or of Sorel or Pouget, but the West he had heard of,--the home of +lawlessness, of bloodshed, rape, and murder. For obvious reasons he did +not betray this opinion, but for him the I.W.W. was born in the West, +where it had ravaged and wrecked communities. His article was guardedly +respectful, but he ventured to remind his readers that Mr. Antonelli had +been a leader in some of these titanic struggles between crude labour and +capital--catastrophes that hitherto had seemed to the citizens of Hampton +as remote as Kansas cyclones.... + +Some of the less timorous of the older inhabitants, curious to learn what +doctrine this interloper had to proclaim, thrust their way that evening +into the City Hall, which was crowded, as the papers said, "to +suffocation." Not prepossessing, this modern Robespierre; younger than +he looked, for life had put its mark on him; once, in the days of severe +work in the mines, his body had been hard, and now had grown stout. In +the eyes of a complacent, arm-chair historian he must have appeared one +of the, strange and terrifying creatures which, in times of upheaval, are +thrust from the depths of democracies to the surface, with gifts to voice +the longings and passions of those below. He did not blink in the light; +he was sure of himself, he had a creed and believed in it; he gazed +around him with the leonine stare of the conqueror, and a hush came over +the hall as he arose. His speech was taken down verbatim, to be +submitted to the sharpest of legal eyes, when was discovered the +possession of a power--rare among agitators--to pour forth in torrents +apparently unpremeditated appeals, to skirt the border of sedition and +never transgress it, to weigh his phrases before he gave them birth, and +to remember them. If he said an incendiary thing one moment he qualified +it the next; he justified violence only to deprecate it; and months +later, when on trial for his life and certain remarks were quoted against +him, he confounded his prosecutors by demanding the contexts. Skilfully, +always within the limits of their intelligence, he outlined to his +hearers his philosophy and proclaimed it as that of the world's +oppressed. Their cause was his--the cause of human progress; he +universalized, it. The world belonged to the "producer," if only he had +the courage to take possession of his own.... + +Suddenly the inspirer was transformed into the man of affairs who calmly +proposed the organization of a strike committee, three members of which +were to be chosen by each nationality. And the resolution, translated +into many tongues, was adopted amidst an uproar of enthusiasm. Until +that moment the revolt had been personal, local, founded on a particular +grievance which had to do with wages and the material struggle for +existence. Now all was changed; now they were convinced that the +deprivation and suffering to which they had pledged themselves were not +for selfish ends alone, but also vicarious, dedicated to the liberation +of all the downtrodden of the earth. Antonelli became a saviour; they +reached out to touch him as he passed; they trooped into the snowy +street, young men and old, and girls, and women holding children in their +arms, their faces alight with something never known or felt before. + +Such was Antonelli to the strikers. But to those staid residents of +Hampton who had thought themselves still to be living in the old New +England tradition, he was the genius of an evil dream. Hard on his heels +came a nightmare troop, whose coming brought to the remembrance of the +imaginative the old nursery rhyme:-- + +"Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark, The beggars are come to town." + +It has, indeed, a knell-like ring. Do philosophies tend also to cast +those who adopt them into a mould? These were of the self-same breed, +indubitably the followers of Antonelli. The men wore their hair long, +affected, like their leader, soft felt hats and loose black ties that +fell over the lapels of their coats. Loose morals and loose ties! The +projection of these against a Puritan background ties symbolical of +everything the Anglo-Saxon shudders at and abhors; of anarchy and mob +rule, of bohemia and vagabondia, of sedition and murder, of Latin +revolutions and reigns of terror; of sex irregularity--not of the +clandestine sort to be found in decent communities--but of free love that +flaunts itself in the face of an outraged public. For there were women +in the band. All this, and more, the invaders suggested--atheism, +unfamiliarity with soap and water, and, more vaguely, an exotic poetry +and art that to the virile of American descent is saturated with +something indefinable yet abhorrent. Such things are felt. Few of the +older citizens of Hampton were able to explain why something rose in +their gorges, why they experienced a new and clammy quality of fear and +repulsion when, on the day following Antonelli's advent, these strangers +arrived from nowhere to install themselves--with no baggage to speak of-- +in Hampton's more modest but hitherto respectable hostelries. And no +sooner had the city been rudely awakened to the perilous presence, in +overwhelming numbers, of ignorant and inflammable foreigners than these +turned up and presumed to lead the revolt, to make capital out of it, to +interpret it in terms of an exotic and degenerate creed. Hampton would +take care of itself--or else the sovereign state within whose borders it +was would take care of it. And his Honour the Mayor, who had proclamed +his faith in the reasonableness of the strikers, who had scorned the +suggestions of indignant inhabitants that the Governor be asked for +soldiers, twenty-four hours too late arranged for the assembly of three +companies of local militia in the armory, and swore in a hundred extra +police. + +The hideous stillness of Fillmore Street was driving Janet mad. What she +burned to do was to go to Boston and take a train for somewhere in the +West, to lose herself, never to see Hampton again. But--there was her +mother. She could not leave Hannah in these empty rooms, alone; and +Edward was to remain at the mill, to eat and sleep there, until the +danger of the strike had passed. A messenger had come to fetch his +clothes. After leaving Ditmar in the office of the mill, Janet crept up +the dark stairs to the flat and halted in the hallway. Through the open +doorway of the dining-room she saw Hannah seated on the horsehair sofa-- +for the first time within memory idle at this hour of the day. Nothing +else could have brought home to her like this the sheer tragedy of their +plight. Until then Janet had been sustained by anger and excitement, by +physical action. She thought Hannah was staring at her; after a moment +it seemed that the widened pupils were fixed in fascination on something +beyond, on the Thing that had come to dwell here with them forever. + +Janet entered the room. She sat down on the sofa and took her mother's +hand in hers. And Hannah submitted passively. Janet could not speak. A +minute might have passed, and the silence, which neither had broken, +acquired an intensity that to Janet became unbearable. Never had the +room been so still! Her glance, raised instinctively to the face of the +picture-clock, saw the hands pointing to ten. Every Monday morning, as +far back as she could recall, her father had wound it before going to +work--and to-day he had forgotten. Getting up, she opened the glass +door, and stood trying to estimate the hour: it must be, she thought, +about six. She set the hands, took the key from the nail above the +shelf, wound up the weight, and started the pendulum. And the sound of +familiar ticking was a relief, releasing at last her inhibited powers of +speech. + +"Mother," she said, "I'll get some supper for you." + +On Hannah, these simple words had a seemingly magical effect. Habit +reasserted itself. She started, and rose almost briskly. + +"No you won't," she said, "I'll get it. I'd ought to have thought of it +before. You must be tired and hungry." + +Her voice was odd and thin. Janet hesitated a moment, and ceded. + +"Well, I'll set the dishes on the table, anyway." + +Janet had sought refuge, wistfully, in the commonplace. And when the +meal was ready she strove to eat, though food had become repulsive. + +"You must take something, mother," she said. + +"I don't feel as if I ever wanted to eat anything again," she replied. + +"I know," said Janet, "but you've got to." And she put some of the cold +meat, left over from Sunday's dinner, on Hannah's plate. Hannah took up +a fork, and laid it down again. Suddenly she said:-- + +"You saw Lise?" + +"Yes," said Janet. + +"Where is she?" + +"In a house--in Boston." + +"One of--those houses?" + +"I--I don't know," said Janet. "I think so." + +"You went there?" + +"Mr. Tiernan went with me." + +"She wouldn't come home?" + +"Not--not just now, mother." + +"You left her there, in that place? You didn't make her come home?" + +The sudden vehemence of this question, the shrill note of reproach in +Hannah's voice that revealed, even more than the terrible inertia from +which she had emerged, the extent of her suffering, for the instant left +Janet utterly dismayed. "Oh mother!" she exclaimed. "I tried--I--I +couldn't." + +Hannah pushed back her chair. + +"I'll go to her, I'll make her come. She's disgraced us, but I'll make +her. Where is she? Where is the house?" + +Janet, terrified, seized her mother's arm. Then she said:-- + +"Lise isn't there any more--she's gone away." + +"Away and you let her go away? You let your sister go away and be a--a +woman of the town? You never loved her--you never had any pity for her." + +Tears sprang into Janet's eyes--tears of pity mingled with anger. The +situation had grown intolerable! Yet how could she tell Hannah where +Lise was! + +"You haven't any right to say that, mother!" she cried. "I did my best. +She wouldn't come. I--I can't tell you where she's gone, but she +promised to write, to send me her address." + +"Lise" Hannah's cry seemed like the uncomprehending whimper of a stricken +child, and then a hidden cadence made itself felt, a cadence revealing to +Janet with an eloquence never before achieved the mystery of mother love, +and by some magic of tone was evoked a new image of Lise--of Lise as she +must be to Hannah. No waywardness, no degradation or disgrace could +efface it. The infant whom Hannah had clutched to her breast, the woman, +her sister, whom Janet had seen that day were one--immutably one. This, +then, was what it meant to be a mother! All the years of deadening hope +had not availed to kill the craving--even in this withered body it was +still alive and quick. The agony of that revelation was scarcely to be +borne. And it seemed that Lise, even in the place where she was, must +have heard that cry and heeded it. And yet--the revelation of Lise's +whereabouts, of Lise's contemplated act Janet had nearly been goaded into +making, died on her lips. She could not tell Hannah! And Lise's child +must not come into a world like this. Even now the conviction remained, +fierce, exultant, final. But if Janet had spoken now Hannah would not +have heard her. Under the storm she had begun to rock, weeping +convulsively.... But gradually her weeping ceased. And to Janet, +helplessly watching, this process of congealment was more terrible even +than the release that only an unmitigated violence of grief had been able +to produce. In silence Hannah resumed her shrunken duties, and when +these were finished sat awhile, before going to bed, her hands lying +listless in her lap. She seemed to have lived for centuries, to have +exhausted the gamut of suffering which, save for that one wild outburst, +had been the fruit of commonplace, passive, sordid tragedy that knows no +touch of fire.... + +The next morning Janet was awakened by the siren. Never, even in the +days when life had been routine and commonplace, had that sound failed to +arouse in her a certain tremor of fear; with its first penetrating +shriek, terror invaded her: then, by degrees, overcoming her numbness, +came an agonizing realization of tragedy to be faced. The siren blew and +blew insistently, as though it never meant to stop; and now for the first +time she seemed to detect in it a note of futility. There were those who +would dare to defy it. She, for one, would defy it. In that reflection +she found a certain fierce joy. And she might lie in bed if she wished-- +how often had she longed to! But she could not. The room was cold, +appallingly empty and silent as she hurried into her clothes. The +dining-room lamp was lighted, the table set, her mother was bending over +the stove when she reached the kitchen. After the pretence of breakfast +was gone through Janet sought relief in housework, making her bed, +tidying her room. It was odd, this morning, how her notice of little, +familiar things had the power to add to her pain, brought to mind +memories become excruciating as she filled the water pitcher from the +kitchen tap she found herself staring at the nick broken out of it when +Lise had upset it. She recalled Lise's characteristically flippant +remark. And there was the streak in the wall-paper caused one night by +the rain leaking through the roof. After the bed was made and the room +swept she stood a moment, motionless, and then, opening the drawer in the +wardrobe took from it the rose which she had wrapped in tissue paper and +hidden there, and with a perverse desire as it were to increase the +bitterness consuming her, to steep herself in pain, she undid the parcel +and held the withered flower to her face. Even now a fragrance, faint +yet poignant, clung to it.... She wrapped it up again, walked to the +window, hesitated, and then with a sudden determination to destroy this +sole relic of her happiness went to the kitchen and flung it into the +stove. Hannah, lingering over her morning task of cleaning, did not seem +to notice the act. Janet turned to her. + +"I think I'll go out for a while, mother," she said. + +"You'd ought to," Hannah replied. "There's no use settin' around here." + +The silence of the flat was no longer to be endured. And Janet, putting +on her coat and hat, descended the stairs. Not once that morning had her +mother mentioned Lise; nor had she asked about her own plans--about +Ditmar. This at least was a relief; it was the question she had feared +most. In the street she met the postman. + +"I have a letter for you, Miss Janet," he said. And on the pink envelope +he handed her, in purple ink, she recognized the unformed, childish +handwriting of Lise. "There's great doings down at the City Hall," the +postman added "the foreigners are holding mass meetings there." +Janet scarcely heard him as she tore open the envelope. "Dear Janet," +the letter ran. "The doctor told me I had a false alarm, there was +nothing to it. Wouldn't that jar you? Boston's a slow burg, and there's +no use of my staying here now. I'm going to New York, and maybe I'll +come back when I've had a look at the great white way. I've got the +coin, and I gave him the mit to-night. If you haven't anything better to +do, drop in at the Bagatelle and give Walters my love, and tell them not +to worry at home. There's no use trying to trail me. Your affectionate +sister Lise." + +Janet thrust the letter in her pocket. Then she walked rapidly westward +until she came to the liver-coloured faeade of the City Hall, opposite +the Common. Pushing through the crowd of operatives lingering on the +pavement in front of it, she entered the building.... + + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of The Dwelling Place of Light, V2 +by Winston Churchill + diff --git a/old/wc03v10.zip b/old/wc03v10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0efff91 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/wc03v10.zip diff --git a/old/wc03v11.txt b/old/wc03v11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e67cffe --- /dev/null +++ b/old/wc03v11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5284 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Dwelling Place of Light, V2, by Churchill +#3 in our series by this Winston Churchill + +This author is a cousin of Sir Winston Churchill the Prime Minister + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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Hart +and may be reprinted only when these Etexts are free of all fees.] +[Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be used in any sales +of Project Gutenberg Etexts or other materials be they hardware or +software or any other related product without express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.10/04/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + +[NOTE: This author is a cousin of Sir Winston Churchill the Prime Minister +of England during World War II.] + + + + + +THE DWELLING-PLACE OF LIGHT + +By WINSTON CHURCHILL + + + +VOLUME 2 + + +CHAPTER IX + +At certain moments during the days that followed the degree of tension +her relationship with Ditmar had achieved tested the limits of Janet's +ingenuity and powers of resistance. Yet the sense of mastery at being +able to hold such a man in leash was by no means unpleasurable to a young +woman of her vitality and spirit. There was always the excitement that +the leash might break--and then what? Here was a situation, she knew +instinctively, that could not last, one fraught with all sorts of +possibilities, intoxicating or abhorrent to contemplate; and for that +very reason fascinating. When she was away from Ditmar and tried to +think about it she fell into an abject perplexity, so full was it of +anomalies and contradictions, of conflicting impulses; so far beyond her +knowledge and experience. For Janet had been born in an age which is +rapidly discarding blanket morality and taboos, which has as yet to +achieve the morality of scientific knowledge, of the individual instance. +Tradition, convention, the awful examples portrayed for gain in the +movies, even her mother's pessimistic attitude in regard to the freedom +with which the sexes mingle to-day were powerless to influence her. The +thought, however, that she might fundamentally resemble her sister Lise, +despite a fancied superiority, did occasionally shake her and bring about +a revulsion against Ditmar. Janet's problem was in truth, though she +failed so to specialize it, the supreme problem of our time: what is the +path to self-realization? how achieve emancipation from the commonplace? + +Was she in love with Ditmar? The question was distasteful, she avoided +it, for enough of the tatters of orthodox Christianity clung to her to +cause her to feel shame when she contemplated the feelings he aroused in +her. It was when she asked herself what his intentions were that her +resentment burned, pride and a sense of her own value convinced her that +he had deeply insulted her in not offering marriage. Plainly, he did not +intend to offer marriage; on the other hand, if he had done so, a +profound, self-respecting and moral instinct in her would, in her present +mood, have led her to refuse. She felt a fine scorn for the woman who, +under the circumstances, would insist upon a bond and all a man's worldly +goods in return for that which it was her privilege to give freely; while +the notion of servility, of economic dependence--though she did not so +phrase it--repelled her far more than the possibility of social ruin. + +This she did not contemplate at all; her impulse to leave Hampton and +Ditmar had nothing to do with that.... + +Away from Ditmar, this war of inclinations possessed her waking mind, +invaded her dreams. When she likened herself to the other exploited +beings he drove to run his mills and fill his orders,--of whom Mr. +Siddons had spoken--her resolution to leave Hampton gained such definite +ascendancy that her departure seemed only a matter of hours. + +In this perspective Ditmar appeared so ruthless, his purpose to use her +and fling her away so palpable, that she despised herself for having +hesitated. A longing for retaliation consumed her; she wished to hurt +him before she left. At such times, however, unforeseen events +invariably intruded to complicate her feelings and alter her plans. One +evening at supper, for instance, when she seemed at last to have achieved +the comparative peace of mind that follows a decision after struggle, she +gradually became aware of an outburst from Hannah concerning the stove, +the condition of which for many months had been a menace to the welfare +of the family. Edward, it appeared, had remarked mildly on the absence +of beans. + +"Beans!" Hannah cried. "You're lucky to have any supper at all. I just +wish I could get you to take a look at that oven--there's a hole you can +put your hand through, if you've a mind to. I've done my best, I've made +out to patch it from time to time, and to-day I had Mr. Tiernan in. He +says it's a miracle I've been able to bake anything. A new one'll cost +thirty dollars, and I don't know where the money's coming from to buy it. +And the fire-box is most worn through." + + +"Well, mother, we'll see what we can do," said Edward. + +"You're always seeing what you can do, but I notice you never do +anything," retorted Hannah; and Edward had the wisdom not to reply. +Beside his place lay a lengthy, close-written letter, and from time to +time, as he ate his canned pears, his hand turned over one of its many +sheets. + +"It's from Eben Wheeler, says he's been considerably troubled with +asthma," he observed presently. "His mother was a Bumpus, a daughter of +Caleb-descended from Robert, who went from Dolton to Tewksbury in 1816, +and fought in the war of 1812. I've told you about him. This Caleb was +born in '53, and he's living now with his daughter's family in +Detroit.... Son-in-law's named Nott, doing well with a construction +company. Now I never could find out before what became of Robert's +descendants. He married Sarah Styles" (reading painfully) "`and they had +issue, John, Robert, Anne, Susan, Eliphalet. John went to Middlebury, +Vermont, and married '" + +Hannah, gathering up the plates, clattered them together noisily. + +"A lot of good it does us to have all that information about Eben +Wheeler's asthma!" she complained. "It'll buy us a new stove, I guess. +Him and his old Bumpus papers! If the house burned down over our heads +that's all he'd think of." + +As she passed to and fro from the dining-room to the kitchen Hannah's +lamentations continued, grew more and more querulous. Accustomed as +Janet was to these frequent arraignments of her father's inefficiency, it +was gradually borne in upon her now--despite a preoccupation with her own +fate--that the affair thus plaintively voiced by her mother was in effect +a family crisis of the first magnitude. She was stirred anew to anger +and revolt against a life so precarious and sordid as to be threatened in +its continuity by the absurd failure of a stove, when, glancing at her +sister, she felt a sharp pang of self-conviction, of self-disgust. Was +she, also, like that, indifferent and self-absorbed? Lise, in her +evening finery, looking occasionally at the clock, was awaiting the hour +set for a rendezvous, whiling away the time with the Boston evening sheet +whose glaring red headlines stretched across the page. When the +newspaper fell to her lap a dreamy expression clouded Lise's eyes. She +was thinking of some man! Quickly Janet looked away, at her father, only +to be repelled anew by the expression, almost of fatuity, she discovered +on his face as he bent over the letter once more. Suddenly she +experienced an overwhelming realization of the desperation of Hannah's +plight,--the destiny of spending one's days, without sympathy, toiling in +the confinement of these rooms to supply their bodily needs. Never had a +destiny seemed so appalling. And yet Janet resented that pity. The +effect of it was to fetter and inhibit; from the moment of its intrusion +she was no longer a free agent, to leave Hampton and Ditmar when she +chose. Without her, this family was helpless. She rose, and picked up +some of the dishes. Hannah snatched them from her hands. + +"Leave 'em alone, Janet!" she said with unaccustomed sharpness. "I guess +I ain't too feeble to handle 'em yet." + +And a flash of new understanding came to Janet. The dishes were +vicarious, a substitute for that greater destiny out of which Hannah had +been cheated by fate. A substitute, yes, and perhaps become something of +a mania, like her father's Bumpus papers.... Janet left the room +swiftly, entered the bedroom, put on her coat and hat, and went out. +Across the street the light in Mr. Tiernan's shop was still burning, and +through the window she perceived Mr. Tiernan himself tilted back in his +chair, his feet on the table, the tip of his nose pointed straight at the +ceiling. When the bell betrayed the opening of the door he let down his +chair on the floor with a bang. + +"Why, it's Miss Janet!" he exclaimed. "How are you this evening, now? I +was just hoping some one would pay me a call." + +Twinkling at her, he managed, somewhat magically, to dispel her temper of +pessimism, and she was moved to reply:-- + +"You know you were having a beautiful time, all by yourself." + +"A beautiful time, is it? Maybe it's because I was dreaming of some +young lady a-coming to pay me a visit." + +"Well, dreams never come up to expectations, do they?" + +"Then it's dreaming I am, still," retorted Mr. Tiernan, quickly. + +Janet laughed. His tone, though bantering, was respectful. One of the +secrets of Mr. Tiernan's very human success was due to his ability to +estimate his fellow creatures. His manner of treating Janet, for +instance, was quite different from that he employed in dealing with Lise. +In the course of one interview he had conveyed to Lise, without arousing +her antagonism, the conviction that it was wiser to trust him than to +attempt to pull wool over his eyes. Janet had the intelligence to trust +him; and to-night, as she faced him, the fact was brought home to her +with peculiar force that this wiry-haired little man was the person above +all others of her immediate acquaintance to seek in time of trouble. It +was his great quality. Moreover, Mr. Tiernan, even in his morning +greetings as she passed, always contrived to convey to her, in some +unaccountable fashion, the admiration and regard in which he held her, +and the effect of her contact with him was invariably to give her a +certain objective image of herself, an increased self-confidence and +self-respect. For instance, by the light dancing in Mr. Tiernan's eyes +as he regarded her, she saw herself now as the mainstay of the helpless +family in the clay-yellow flat across the street. And there was nothing, +she was convinced, Mr. Tiernan did not know about that family. So she +said:-- + +"I've come to see about the stove." + +"Sure," he replied, as much as to say that the visit was not unexpected. +"Well, I've been thinking about it, Miss Janet. I've got a stove here I +know'll suit your mother. It's a Reading, it's almost new. Ye'd better +be having a look at it yourself." + +He led her into a chaos of stoves, grates, and pipes at the back of the +store. + +"It's in need of a little polish," he added, as he turned on a light, +"but it's sound, and a good baker, and economical with coal." He opened +the oven and took off the lids. + +"I'm afraid I don't know much about stoves," she told him. "But I'll +trust your judgment. How much is it?" she inquired hesitatingly. + +He ran his hand through his corkscrewed hair, his familiar gesture. + +"Well, I'm willing to let ye have it for twenty-five dollars. If that's +too much--mebbe we can find another." + +"Can you put it in to-morrow morning?" she asked. + +"I can that," he said. She drew out her purse. "Ye needn't be paying +for it all at once," he protested, laying a hand on her arm. "You won't +be running away." + +"Oh, I'd rather--I have the money," she declared hurriedly; and she +turned her back that he might not perceive, when she had extracted the +bills, how little was left in her purse. + +"I'll wager ye won't be wanting another soon," he said, as he escorted +her to the door. And he held it open, politely, looking after her, until +she had crossed the street, calling out a cheerful "Goodnight" that had +in it something of a benediction. She avoided the dining-room and went +straight to bed, in a strange medley of feelings. The self-sacrifice had +brought a certain self-satisfaction not wholly unpleasant. She had been +equal to the situation, and a part of her being approved of this,--a part +which had been suppressed in another mood wherein she had become +convinced that self-realization lay elsewhere. Life was indeed a +bewildering thing.... + +The next morning, at breakfast, though her mother's complaints continued, +Janet was silent as to her purchase, and she lingered on her return home +in the evening because she now felt a reluctance to appear in the role of +protector and preserver of the family. She would have preferred, if +possible, to give the stove anonymously. Not that the expression of +Hannah's gratitude was maudlin; she glared at Janet when she entered the +dining-room and exclaimed: "You hadn't ought to have gone and done it!" + +And Janet retorted, with almost equal vehemence:-- + +"Somebody had to do it--didn't they? Who else was there?" + +"It's a shame for you to spend your money on such things. You'd ought to +save it you'll need it," Hannah continued illogically. + +"It's lucky I had the money," said Janet. + +Both Janet and Hannah knew that these recriminations, from the other, +were the explosive expressions of deep feeling. Janet knew that her +mother was profoundly moved by her sacrifice. She herself was moved by +Hannah's plight, but tenderness and pity were complicated by a renewed +sense of rebellion against an existence that exacted such a situation. + +"I hope the stove's all right, mother," she said. "Mr. Tiernan seemed to +think it was a good one." + +"It's a different thing," declared Hannah. "I was just wondering this +evening, before you came in, how I ever made out to cook anything on the +other. Come and see how nice it looks." + +Janet followed her into the kitchen. As they stood close together gazing +at the new purchase Janet was uncomfortably aware of drops that ran a +little way in the furrows of Hannah's cheeks, stopped, and ran on again. +She seized her apron and clapped it to her face. + +"You hadn't ought to be made to do it!" she sobbed. + +And Janet was suddenly impelled to commit an act rare in their +intercourse. She kissed her, swiftly, on the cheek, and fled from the +room.... + +Supper was an ordeal. Janet did not relish her enthronement as a +heroine, she deplored and even resented her mother's attitude toward her +father, which puzzled her; for the studied cruelty of it seemed to belie +her affection for him. Every act and gesture and speech of Hannah's took +on the complexion of an invidious reference to her reliability as +compared with Edward's worthlessness as a provider; and she contrived in +some sort to make the meal a sacrament in commemoration of her elder +daughter's act. + +"I guess you notice the difference in that pork," she would exclaim, and +when he praised it and attributed its excellence to Janet's gift Hannah +observed: "As long as you ain't got a son, you're lucky to have a +daughter like her!" + +Janet squirmed. Her father's acceptance of his comparative worthlessness +was so abject that her pity was transferred to him, though she scorned +him, as on former occasions, for the self-depreciation that made him +powerless before her mother's reproaches. After the meal was over he sat +listlessly on the sofa, like a visitor whose presence is endured, +pathetically refraining from that occupation in which his soul found +refreshment and peace, the compilation of the Bumpus genealogy. That +evening the papers remained under the lid of the desk in the corner, +untouched. + +What troubled Janet above all, however, was the attitude of Lise, who +also came in for her share of implied reproach. Of late Lise had become +an increased source of anxiety to Hannah, who was unwisely resolved to +make this occasion an object lesson. And though parental tenderness had +often moved her to excuse and defend Lise for an increasing remissness in +failing to contribute to the household expenses, she was now quite +relentless in her efforts to wring from Lise an acknowledgment of the +nobility of her sister's act, of qualities in Janet that she, Lise, might +do well to cultivate. Lise was equally determined to withhold any such +acknowledgment; in her face grew that familiar mutinous look that Hannah +invariably failed to recognize as a danger signal; and with it another-- +the sophisticated expression of one who knows life and ridicules the lack +of such knowledge in others. Its implication was made certain when the +two girls were alone in their bedroom after supper. Lise, feverishly +occupied with her toilet, on her departure broke the silence there by +inquiring:-- + +"Say, if I had your easy money, I might buy a stove, too. How much does +Ditmar give you, sweetheart?" + +Janet, infuriated, flew at her sister. Lise struggled to escape. + +"Leave me go" she whimpered in genuine alarm, and when at length she was +released she went to the mirror and began straightening her hat, which +had flopped to one side of her head. "I didn't mean nothin', I was only +kiddie' you--what's the use of gettin' nutty over a jest?" + +"I'm not like-you," said Janet. + +"I was only kiddin', I tell you," insisted Lise, with a hat pin in her +mouth. "Forget it." + +When Lise had gone out Janet sat down in the rocking-chair and began to +rock agitatedly. What had really made her angry, she began to perceive, +was the realization of a certain amount of truth in her sister's +intimation concerning Ditmar. Why should she have, in Lise, continually +before her eyes a degraded caricature of her own aspirations and ideals? +or was Lise a mirror--somewhat tarnished, indeed--in which she read the +truth about herself? For some time Janet had more than suspected that +her sister possessed a new lover--a lover whom she refrained from +discussing; an ominous sign, since it had been her habit to dangle her +conquests before Janet's eyes, to discuss their merits and demerits with +an engaging though cynical freedom. Although the existence of this +gentleman was based on evidence purely circumstantial, Janet was inclined +to believe him of a type wholly different from his predecessors; and the +fact that his attentions were curiously intermittent and irregular +inclined her to the theory that he was not a resident of Hampton. What +was he like? It revolted her to reflect that he might in some ways +possibly resemble Ditmar. Thus he became the object of a morbid +speculation, especially at such times as this, when Lise attired herself +in her new winter finery and went forth to meet him. Janet, also, had +recently been self-convicted of sharing with Lise the same questionable +tendency toward self-adornment to please the eye of man. The very next +Saturday night after she had indulged in that mad extravagance of the +blue suit, Lise had brought home from the window of The Paris in Faber +Street a hat that had excited the cupidity and admiration of Miss Schuler +and herself, and in front of which they had stood languishing on three +successive evenings. In its acquisition Lise had expended almost the +whole of a week's salary. Its colour was purple, on three sides were +massed drooping lilac feathers, but over the left ear the wide brim was +caught up and held by a crescent of brilliant paste stones. Shortly +after this purchase--the next week, in fact,--The Paris had alluringly +and craftily displayed, for the tempting sum of $6.29, the very cloak +ordained by providence to "go" with the hat. Miss Schuler declared it +would be a crime to fail to take advantage of such an opportunity but the +trouble was that Lise had had to wait for two more pay-days and endure +the suspense arising from the possibility that some young lady of taste +and means might meanwhile become its happy proprietor. Had not the +saleslady been obdurate, Lise would have had it on credit; but she did +succeed, by an initial payment the ensuing Saturday, in having it +withdrawn from public gaze. The second Saturday Lise triumphantly +brought the cloak home; a velvet cloak,--if the eyes could be believed,-- +velvet bordering on plush, with a dark purple ground delicately and +artistically spotted with a lilac to match the hat feathers, and edged +with a material which--if not too impudently examined and no questions +asked--might be mistaken, by the uninitiated male, for the fur of a white +fox. Both investments had been made, needless to say, on the strength of +Janet's increased salary; and Lise, when Janet had surprised her before +the bureau rapturously surveying the combination, justified herself with +a defiant apology. + +"I just had to have something--what with winter coming on," she declared, +seizing the hand mirror in order to view the back. "You might as well +get your clothes chick, while you're about it--and I didn't have to dig +up twenty bones, neither--nor anything like it--" a reflection on Janet's +moest blue suit and her abnormal extravagance. For it was Lise's habit +to carry the war into the enemy's country. "Sadie's dippy about it--says +it puts her in mind of one of the swells snapshotted in last Sunday's +supplement. Well, dearie, how does the effect get you?" and she wheeled +around for her sister's inspection. + +"If you take my advice, you'll be careful not to be caught out in the +rain." + +"What's chewin' you now?" demanded Lise. She was not lacking in +imagination of a certain sort, and Janet's remark did not fail in its +purpose of summoning up a somwhat abject image of herself in wet velvet +and bedraggled feathers--an image suggestive of a certain hunted type of +woman Lise and her kind held in peculiar horror. And she was the more +resentful because she felt, instinctively, that the memory of this +suggestion would never be completely eradicated: it would persist, like a +canker, to mar the completeness of her enjoyment of these clothes. She +swung on Janet furiously. + +"I get you, all right!" she cried. "I guess I know what's eatin' you! +You've got money to burn and you're sore because I spend mine to buy what +I need. You don't know how to dress yourself any more than one of them +Polak girls in the mills, and you don't want anybody else to look nice." + +And Janet was impelled to make a retort of almost equal crudity:-- + +"If I were a man and saw you in those clothes I wouldn't wait for an +introduction. You asked me what I thought. I don't care about the +money!" she exclaimed passionately. "I've often told you you were pretty +enough without having to wear that kind of thing--to make men stare at +you." + +"I want to know if I don't always look like a lady! And there's no man +living would try to pick me up more than once." The nasal note in Lise's +voice had grown higher and shriller, she was almost weeping with anger. +"You want me to go 'round lookin' like a floorwasher." + +"I'd rather look like a floorwasher than--than another kind of woman," +Janet declared. + +"Well, you've got your wish, sweetheart," said Lise. "You needn't be +scared anybody will pick you up." + +"I'm not," said Janet.... + +This quarrel had taken place a week or so before Janet's purchase of the +stove. Hannah, too, was outraged by Lise's costume, and had also been +moved to protest; futile protest. Its only effect on Lise was to +convince her of the existence of a prearranged plan of persecution, to +make her more secretive and sullen than ever before. + +"Sometimes I just can't believe she's my daughter," Hannah said +dejectedly to Janet when they were alone together in the kitchen after +Lise had gone out. "I'm fond of her because she's my own flesh and +blood--I'm ashamed of it, but I can't help it. I guess it's what the +minister in Dolton used to call a visitation. I suppose I deserve it, +but sometimes I think maybe if your father had been different he might +have been able to put a stop to the way she's going on. She ain't like +any of the Wenches, nor any of the Bumpuses, so far's I'm able to find +out. She just don't seem to have any notion about right and wrong. +Well, the world has got all jumbled up--it beats me." + +Hannah wrung out the mop viciously and hung it over the sink. + +"I used to hope some respectable man would come along, but I've quit +hopin'. I don't know as any respectable man would want Lise, or that I +could honestly wish him to have her." + +"Mother!" protested Janet. Sometimes, in those conversations, she was +somewhat paradoxically impelled to defend her sister. + +"Well, I don't," insisted Hannah, "that's a fact. I'll tell you what she +looks like in that hat and cloak--a bad woman. I don't say she is--I +don't know what I'd do if I thought she was, but I never expected my +daughter to look like one." + +"Oh, Lise can take care of herself," Janet said, in spite of certain +recent misgivings. + +"This town's Sodom and Gomorrah rolled into one," declared Hannah who, +from early habit, was occasionally prone to use scriptural parallels. +And after a moment's silence she inquired: "Who's this man that's payin' +her attention now?" + +"I don't know," replied Janet, "I don't know that there's anybody." + +"I guess there is," said Hannah. "I used to think that that Wiley was +low enough, but I could see him. It was some satisfaction. I could know +the worst, anyhow.... I guess it's about time for another flood." + +This talk had left Janet in one of these introspective states so frequent +in her recent experience. Her mother had used the words "right" and +"wrong." But what was "right," or "wrong?" There was no use asking +Hannah, who--she perceived--was as confused and bewildered as herself. +Did she refuse to encourage Mr. Ditmar because it was wrong? because, if +she acceded to his desires, and what were often her own, she would be +punished in an after life? She was not at all sure whether she believed +in an after life,--a lack of faith that had, of late, sorely troubled her +friend Eda Rawle, who had "got religion" from an itinerant evangelist and +was now working off, in a "live" church, some of the emotional idealism +which is the result of a balked sex instinct in young unmarried women of +a certain mentality and unendowed with good looks. This was not, of +course, Janet's explanation of the change in her friend, of whom she now +saw less and less. They had had arguments, in which neither gained any +ground. For the first time in their intercourse, ideas had come between +them, Eda having developed a surprising self-assertion when her new +convictions were attacked, a dogged loyalty to a scheme of salvation that +Janet found neither inspiring nor convincing. She resented being prayed +for, and an Eda fervent in good works bored her more than ever. Eda was +deeply pained by Janet's increasing avoidance of her company, yet her +heroine-worship persisted. Her continued regard for her friend might +possibly be compared to the attitude of an orthodox Baptist who has +developed a hobby, let us say, for Napoleon Bonaparte. + +Janet was not wholly without remorse. She valued Eda's devotion, she +sincerely regretted the fact, on Eda's account as well as her own, that +it was a devotion of no use to her in the present crisis nor indeed in +any crisis likely to confront her in life: she had felt instinctively +from the first that the friendship was not founded on, mental harmony, +and now it was brought home to her that Eda's solution could never be +hers. Eda would have been thrilled on learning of Ditmar's attentions, +would have advocated the adoption of a campaign leading up to matrimony. +In matrimony, for Eda, the soul was safe. Eda would have been horrified +that Janet should have dallied with any other relationship; God would +punish her. Janet, in her conflict between alternate longing and +repugnance, was not concerned with the laws and retributions of God. She +felt, indeed, the need of counsel, and knew not where to turn for it,-- +the modern need for other than supernatural sanctions. She did not +resist her desire for Ditmar because she believed, in the orthodox sense, +that it was wrong, but because it involved a loss of self-respect, a +surrender of the personality from the very contemplation of which she +shrank. She was a true daughter of her time. + +On Friday afternoon, shortly after Ditmar had begun to dictate his +correspondence, Mr. Holster, the agent of the Clarendon Mill, arrived and +interrupted him. Janet had taken advantage of the opportunity to file +away some answered letters when her attention was distracted from her +work by the conversation, which had gradually grown louder. The two men +were standing by the window, facing one another, in an attitude that +struck her as dramatic. Both were vital figures, dominant types which +had survived and prevailed in that upper world of unrelenting struggle +for supremacy into which, through her relation to Ditmar, she had been +projected, and the significance of which she had now begun to realize. +She surveyed Holster critically. He was short, heavily built, with an +almost grotesque width of shoulder, a muddy complexion, thick lips, and +kinky, greasy black hair that glistened in the sun. His nasal voice was +complaining, yet distinctly aggressive, and he emphasized his words by +gestures. The veins stood out on his forehead. She wondered what his +history had been. She compared him to Ditmar, on whose dust-grey face +she was quick to detect a look she had seen before--a contraction of the +eyes, a tightening of the muscles of the jaw. That look, and the +peculiarly set attitude of the body accompanying it, aroused in her a +responsive sense of championship. + +"All right, Ditmar," she heard the other exclaim. "I tell you again +you'll never be able to pull it off." + +Ditmar's laugh was short, defiant. + +"Why not?" he asked. + +"Why not! Because the fifty-four hour law goes into effect in January." + +"What's that got to do with it?" Ditmar demanded. + +"You'll see--you'll remember what I told you fellows at the conference +after that bill went through and that damned demagogue of a governor +insisted on signing it. I said, if we tried to cut wages down to a +fifty-four hour basis we'd have a strike on our hands in every mill in +Hampton,--didn't I? I said it would cost us millions of dollars, and +make all the other strikes we've had here look like fifty cents. Didn't +I say that? Hammond, our president, backed me up, and Rogers of the wool +people. You remember? You were the man who stood out against it, and +they listened to you, they voted to cut down the pay and say nothing +about it. Wait until those first pay envelopes are opened after that law +goes into effect. You'll see what'll happen! You'll never be able to +fill that Bradlaugh order in God's world." + +"Oh hell," retorted Ditmar, contemptuously. "You're always for lying +down, Holster. Why don't you hand over your mill to the unions and go to +work on a farm? You might as well, if you're going to let the unions run +the state. Why not have socialism right now, and cut out the agony? +When they got the politicians to make the last cut from fifty-six to +fifty-four and we kept on payin' 'em for fifty-six, against my advice, +what happened? Did they thank us? I guess not. Were they contented? +Not on your life. They went right on agitating, throwing scares into the +party conventions and into the House and Senate Committees,--and now it's +fifty-four hours. It'll be fifty in a couple of years, and then we'll +have to scrap our machinery and turn over the trade to the South and +donate our mills to the state for insane asylums." + +"No, if we handle this thing right, we'll have the public on our side. +They're getting sick of the unions now." + +Ditmar went to the desk for a cigar, bit it off, and lighted it. + +"The public!" he exclaimed contemptuously. "A whole lot of good they'll +do us." + +Holster approached him, menacingly, until the two men stood almost +touching, and for a moment it seemed to Janet as if the agent of the +Clarendon were ready to strike Ditmar. She held her breath, her blood +ran faster,--the conflict between these two made an elemental appeal. + +"All right--remember what I say--wait and see where you come out with +that order." Holster's voice trembled with anger. He hesitated, and +left the office abruptly. Ditmar stood gazing after him for a moment and +then, taking his cigar from his mouth, turned and smiled at Janet and +seated himself in his chair. His eyes, still narrowed, had in them a +gleam of triumph that thrilled her. Combat seemed to stimulate and +energize him. + +"He thought he could bluff me into splitting that Bradlaugh order with +the Clarendon," Ditmar exclaimed. "Well, he'll have to guess again. +I've got his number." He began to turn over his letters. "Let's see, +where were we? Tell Caldwell not to let in any more idiots, and shut the +door." + +Janet obeyed, and when she returned Ditmar was making notes with a pencil +on a pad. The conversation with Holter had given her a new idea of +Ditmar's daring in attempting to fill the Bradlaugh order with the +Chippering Mills alone, had aroused in her more strongly than ever that +hot loyalty to the mills with which he had inspired her; and that strange +surge of sympathy, of fellow-feeling for the operatives she had +experienced after the interview with Mr. Siddons, of rebellion against +him, the conviction that she also was one of the slaves he exploited, had +wholly disappeared. Ditmar was the Chippering Mills, and she, somehow, +enlisted once again on his side. + +"By the way," he said abruptly, "you won't mention this--I know." + +"Won't mention what?" she asked. + +"This matter about the pay envelopes--that we don't intend to continue +giving the operatives fifty-six hours' pay for fifty-four when this law +goes into effect. They're like animals, most of 'em, they don't reason, +and it might make trouble if it got out now. You understand. They'd +have time to brood over it, to get the agitators started. When the time +comes they may kick a little, but they'll quiet down. And it'll teach +'em a lesson." + +"I never mention anything I hear in this office," she told him. + +"I know you don't," he assured her, apologetically. "I oughtn't to have +said that--it was only to put you on your guard, in case you heard it +spoken of. You see how important it is, how much trouble an agitator +might make by getting them stirred up? You can see what it means to me, +with this order on my hands. I've staked everything on it." + +"But--when the law goes into effect? when the operatives find out that +they are not receiving their full wages--as Mr. Holster said?" Janet +inquired. + +"Why, they may grumble a little--but I'll be on the lookout for any move. +I'll see to that. I'll teach 'em a lesson as to how far they can push +this business of shorter hours and equal pay. It's the unskilled workers +who are mostly affected, you understand, and they're not organized. If +we can keep out the agitators, we're all right. Even then, I'll show 'em +they can't come in here and exploit my operatives." + +In the mood in which she found herself his self-confidence, his +aggressiveness continued to inspire and even to agitate her, to compel +her to accept his point of view. + +"Why," he continued, "I trust you as I never trusted anybody else. I've +told you that before. Ever since you've been here you've made life a +different thing for me--just by your being here. I don't know what I'd +do without you. You've got so much sense about things--about people,-- +and I sometimes think you've got almost the same feeling about these +mills that I have. You didn't tell me you went through the mills with +Caldwell the other day," he added, accusingly. + +"I--I forgot," said Janet. "Why should I tell--you?" She knew that all +thought of Holster had already slipped from his mind. She did not look +up. "If you're not going to finish your letters," she said, a little +faintly, "I've got some copying to do." + +"You're a deep one," he said. And as he turned to the pile of +correspondence she heard him sigh. He began to dictate. She took down +his sentences automatically, scarcely knowing what she was writing; he +was making love to her as intensely as though his words had been the +absolute expression of his desire instead of the commonplace mediums of +commercial intercourse. Presently he stopped and began fumbling in one +of the drawers of his desk. + +"Where is the memorandum I made last week for Percy and Company?" + +"Isn't it there?" she asked. + +But he continued to fumble, running through the papers and disarranging +them until she could stand it no longer. + +"You never know where to find anything," she declared, rising and darting +around the desk and bending over the drawer, her deft fingers rapidly +separating the papers. She drew forth the memorandum triumphantly. + +"There!" she exclaimed. "It was right before your eyes." + +As she thrust it at him his hand closed over hers. She felt him drawing +her, irresistibly. + +"Janet!" he said. "For God's sake--you're killing me--don't you know it? +I can't stand it any longer!" + +"Don't!" she whispered, terror-stricken, straining away from him. "Mr. +Ditmar--let me go!" + +A silent struggle ensued, she resisting him with all the aroused strength +and fierceness of her nature. He kissed her hair, her neck,--she had +never imagined such a force as this, she felt herself weakening, +welcoming the annihilation of his embrace. + +"Mr. Ditmar!" she cried. "Somebody will come in." + +Her fingers sank into his neck, she tried to hurt him and by a final +effort flung herself free and fled to the other side of the room. + +"You little--wildcat!" she heard him exclaim, saw him put his +handkerchief to his neck where her fingers had been, saw a red stain on +it. "I'll have you yet!" + +But even then, as she stood leaning against the wall, motionless save for +the surging of her breast, there was about her the same strange, feral +inscrutableness. He was baffled, he could not tell what she was +thinking. She seemed, unconquered, to triumph over her disarray and the +agitation of her body. Then, with an involuntary gesture she raised her +hands to her hair, smoothing it, and without seeming haste left the room, +not so much as glancing at him, closing the door behind her. + +She reached her table in the outer office and sat down, gazing out of the +window. The face of the world--the river, the mills, and the bridge--was +changed, tinged with a new and unreal quality. She, too, must be +changed. She wasn't, couldn't be the same person who had entered that +room of Ditmar's earlier in the afternoon! Mr. Caldwell made a +commonplace remark, she heard herself answer him. Her mind was numb, +only her body seemed swept by fire, by emotions--emotions of fear, of +anger, of desire so intense as to make her helpless. And when at length +she reached out for a sheet of carbon paper her hand trembled so she +could scarcely hold it. Only by degrees was she able to get sufficient +control of herself to begin her copying, when she found a certain relief +in action--her hands flying over the keys, tearing off the finished +sheets, and replacing them with others. She did not want to think, to +decide, and yet she knew--something was trying to tell her that the +moment for decision had come. She must leave, now. If she stayed on, +this tremendous adventure she longed for and dreaded was inevitable. +Fear and fascination battled within her. To run away was to deny life; +to remain, to taste and savour it. She had tasted it--was it sweet?-- +that sense of being swept away, engulfed by an elemental power beyond +them both, yet in them both? She felt him drawing her to him, and she +struggling yet inwardly longing to yield. And the scarlet stain on his +handkerchief--when she thought of that her blood throbbed, her face +burned. + +At last the door of the inner office opened, and Ditmar came out and +stood by the rail. His voice was queer, scarcely recognizable. + +"Miss Bumpus--would you mind coming into my room a moment, before you +leave?" he said. + +She rose instantly and followed him, closing the door behind her, but +standing at bay against it, her hand on the knob. + +"I'm not going to touch you--you needn't be afraid," he said. Reassured +by the unsteadiness of his voice she raised her eyes to perceive that his +face was ashy, his manner nervous, apprehensive, conciliatory,--a Ditmar +she had difficulty in recognizing. "I didn't mean to frighten, to offend +you," he went on. "Something got hold of me. I was crazy, I couldn't +help it--I won't do it again, if you'll stay. I give you my word." + +She did not reply. After a pause he began again, repeating himself. + +"I didn't mean to do it. I was carried away--it all happened before I +knew. I--I wouldn't frighten you that way for anything in the world." + +Still she was silent. + +"For God's sake, speak to me!" he cried. "Say you forgive me--give me +another chance!" + +But she continued to gaze at him with widened, enigmatic eyes--whether of +reproach or contempt or anger he could not say. The situation +transcended his experience. He took an uncertain step toward her, as +though half expecting her to flee, and stopped. + +"Listen!" he pleaded. "I can't talk to you here. Won't you give me a +chance to explain--to put myself right? You know what I think of you, +how I respect and--admire you. If you'll only let me see you somewhere-- +anywhere, outside of the office, for a little while, I can't tell you how +much I'd appreciate it. I'm sure you don't understand how I feel--I +couldn't bear to lose you. I'll be down by the canal--near the bridge-- +at eight o'clock to-night. I'll wait for you. You'll come? Say you'll +come, and give me another chance!" + +"Aren't you going to finish your letters?" she asked. + +He stared at her in sheer perplexity. "Letters!" he exclaimed. "Damn +the letters! Do you think I could write any letters now?" + +As a faint ray in dark waters, a gleam seemed to dance in the shadows of +her eyes, yet was gone so swiftly that he could not be sure of having +seen it. Had she smiled? + +"I'll be there," he cried. "I'll wait for you." + +She turned from him, opened the door, and went out. + +That evening, as Janet was wiping the dishes handed her by her mother, +she was repeating to herself "Shall I go--or shan't I?"--just as if the +matter were in doubt. But in her heart she was convinced of its +predetermination by some power other than her own volition. With this +feeling, that she really had no choice, that she was being guided and +impelled, she went to her bedroom after finishing her task. The hands of +the old dining-room clock pointed to quarter of eight, and Lise had +already made her toilet and departed. Janet opened the wardrobe, looked +at the new blue suit hanging so neatly on its wire holder, hesitated, and +closed the door again. Here, at any rate, seemed a choice. She would +not wear that, to-night. She tidied her hair, put on her hat and coat, +and went out; but once in the street she did not hurry, though she knew +the calmness she apparently experienced to be false: the calmness of +fatality, because she was obeying a complicated impulse stronger than +herself--an impulse that at times seemed mere curiosity. Somewhere, +removed from her immediate consciousness, a storm was raging; she was +aware of a disturbance that reached her faintly, like the distant +throbbing of the looms she heard when she turned from Faber into West +Street She had not been able to eat any supper. That throbbing of the +looms in the night! As it grew louder and louder the tension within her +increased, broke its bounds, set her heart to throbbing too--throbbing +wildly. She halted, and went on again, precipitately, but once more +slowed her steps as she came to West Street and the glare of light at the +end of the bridge; at a little distance, under the chequered shadows of +the bare branches, she saw something move--a man, Ditmar. She stood +motionless as he hurried toward her. + +"You've come! You've forgiven me?" he asked. + +"Why were you--down there?" she asked. + +"Why? Because I thought--I thought you wouldn't want anybody to know--" + +It was quite natural that he should not wish to be seen; although she had +no feeling of guilt, she herself did not wish their meeting known. She +resented the subterfuge in him, but she made no comment because his +perplexity, his embarrassment were gratifying to her resentment, were +restoring her self-possession, giving her a sense of power. + +"We can't stay here," he went on, after a moment. "Let's take a little +walk--I've got a lot to say to you. I want to put myself right." He +tried to take her arm, but she avoided him. They started along the canal +in the direction of the Stanley Street bridge. "Don't you care for me a +little?" he demanded. + +"Why should I?" she parried. + +"Then--why did you come?" + +"To hear what you had to say." + +"You mean--about this afternoon?" + +"Partly," said Janet. + +"Well--we'll talk it all over. I wanted to explain about this afternoon, +especially. I'm sorry--" + +"Sorry!" she exclaimed. + +The vehemence of her rebuke--for he recognized it as such--took him +completely aback. Thus she was wont, at the most unexpected moments, to +betray the passion within her, the passion that made him sick with +desire. How was he to conquer a woman of this type, who never took +refuge in the conventional tactics of her sex, as he had known them? + +"I didn't mean that," he explained desperately. "My God--to feel you, to +have you in my arms--! I was sorry because I frightened you. But when +you came near me that way I just couldn't help it. You drove me to it." + +"Drove you to it!" + +"You don't understand, you don't know how--how wonderful you are. You +make me crazy. I love you, I want you as I've never wanted any woman +before--in a different way. I can't explain it. I've got so that I +can't live without you." He flung his arm toward the lights of the +mills. "That--that used to be everything to me, I lived for it. I don't +say I've been a saint--but I never really cared anything about any woman +until I knew you, until that day I went through the office and saw you +what you were. You don't understand, I tell you. I'm sorry for what I +did to-day because it offended you--but you drove me to it. Most of the +time you seem cold, you're like an iceberg, you make me think you hate +me, and then all of a sudden you'll be kind, as you were the other night, +as you seemed this afternoon--you make me think I've got a chance, and +then, when you came near me, when you touched my hand--why, I didn't know +what I was doing. I just had to have you. A man like me can't stand +it." + +"Then I'd better go away," she said. "I ought to have gone long ago." + +"Why?" he cried. "Why? What's your reason? Why do you want to ruin my +life? You've--you've woven yourself into it--you're a part of it. I +never knew what it was to care for a woman before, I tell you. There's +that mill," he repeated, naively. "I've made it the best mill in the +country, I've got the biggest order that ever came to any mill--if you +went away I wouldn't care a continental about it. If you went away I +wouldn't have any ambition left. Because you're a part of it, don't you +see? You--you sort of stand for it now, in my mind. I'm not literary, I +can't express what I'd like to say, but sometimes I used to think of that +mill as a woman--and now you've come along--" Ditmar stopped, for lack of +adequate eloquence. + +She smiled in the darkness at his boyish fervour,--one of the aspects of +the successful Ditmar, the Ditmar of great affairs, that appealed to her +most strongly. She was softened, touched; she felt, too, a responsive +thrill to such a desire as his. Yet she did not reply. She could not. +She was learning that emotion is never simple. And some inhibition, the +identity of which was temporarily obscured still persisted, pervading her +consciousness.... + +They were crossing the bridge at Stanley Street, now deserted, and by +common consent they paused in the middle of it, leaning on the rail. The +hideous chocolate factory on the point was concealed by the night,--only +the lights were there, trembling on the surface of the river. Against +the flushed sky above the city were silhouetted the high chimneys of the +power plant. Ditmar's shoulder touched hers. He was still pleading, but +she seemed rather to be listening to the symphony of the unseen waters +falling over the dam. His words were like that, suggestive of a torrent +into which she longed to fling herself, yet refrained, without knowing +why. Her hands tightened on the rail; suddenly she let it go, and led +the way toward the unfrequented district of the south side. It was the +road to Silliston, but she had forgotten that. Ditmar, regaining her +side, continued his pleading. He spoke of his loneliness, which he had +never realized. He needed her. And she experienced an answering pang. +It still seemed incredible that he, too, who had so much, should feel +that gnawing need for human sympathy and understanding that had so often +made her unhappy. And because of the response his need aroused in her +she did not reflect whether he could fulfil her own need, whether he +could ever understand her; whether, at any time, she could unreservedly +pour herself out to him. + +"I don't see why you want me," she interrupted him at last. "I've never +had any advantages, I don't know anything. I've never had a chance to +learn. I've told you that before." + +"What difference does that make? You've got more sense than any woman I +ever saw," he declared. + +"It makes a great deal of difference to me," she insisted--and the sound +of these words on her own lips was like a summons arousing her from a +dream. The sordidness of her life, its cruel lack of opportunity in +contrast with the gifts she felt to be hers, and on which he had dwelt, +was swept back into her mind. Self-pity, dignity, and inherent self- +respect struggled against her woman's desire to give; an inherited racial +pride whispered that she was worthy of the best, but because she had +lacked the chance, he refrained from offering her what he would have laid +at the feet of another woman. + +"I'll give you advantages--there's nothing I wouldn't give you. Why +won't you come to me? I'll take care of you." + +"Do you think I want to be taken care of?" She wheeled on him so swiftly +that he started back. "Is that what you think I want?" + +"No, no," he protested, when he recovered his speech. + +"Do you think I'm after--what you can give me?" she shot at him. "What +you can buy for me?" + +To tell the truth, he had not thought anything about it, that was the +trouble. And her question, instead of enlightening him, only added to +his confusion and bewilderment. + +"I'm always getting in wrong with you," he told her, pathetically. +"There isn't anything I'd stop at to make you happy, Janet, that's what +I'm trying to say. I'd go the limit." + +"Your limit!" she exclaimed. + +"What do you mean?" he demanded. But she had become inarticulate-- +cryptic, to him. He could get nothing more out of her. + +"You don't understand me--you never will!" she cried, and burst into +tears--tears of rage she tried in vain to control. The world was black +with his ignorance. She hated herself, she hated him. Her sobs shook +her convulsively, and she scarcely heard him as he walked beside her +along the empty road, pleading and clumsily seeking to comfort her. Once +or twice she felt his hand on her shoulders.... And then, unlooked for +and unbidden, pity began to invade her. Absurd to pity him! She fought +against it, but the thought of Ditmar reduced to abjectness gained +ground. After all, he had tried to be generous, he had done his best, he +loved her, he needed her--the words rang in her heart. After all, he did +not realize how could she expect him to realize? and her imagination +conjured up the situation in a new perspective. Her sobs gradually +ceased, and presently she stopped in the middle of the road and regarded +him. He seemed utterly miserable, like a hurt child whom she longed to +comfort. But what she said was:-- + +"I ought to be going home." + +"Not yet!" he begged. "It's early. You say I don't understand you, +Janet--my God, I wish I did! It breaks me all up to see you cry like +that." + +"I'm sorry," she said, after a moment. "I--I can'tmmake you understand. +I guess I'm not like anybody else I'm queer--I can't help it. You must +let me go, I only make you unhappy." + +"Let you go!" he cried--and then in utter self-forgetfulness she yielded +her lips to his. A sound penetrated the night, she drew back from his +arms and stood silhouetted against the glare of the approaching headlight +of a trolley car, and as it came roaring down on them she hailed it. +Ditmar seized her arm. + +"You're not going--now?" he said hoarsely. + +"I must," she whispered. "I want to be alone--I want to think. You must +let me." + +"I'll see you to-morrow?" + +"I don't know--I want to think. I'm--I'm tired." + +The brakes screamed as the car came joltingly to a stop. She flew up the +steps, glancing around to see whether Ditmar had followed her, and saw +him still standing in the road. The car was empty of passengers, but the +conductor must have seen her leaving a man in this lonely spot. She +glanced at his face, white and pinched and apathetic--he must have seen +hundreds of similar episodes in the course of his nightly duties. He was +unmoved as he took her fare. Nevertheless, at the thought that these +other episodes might resemble hers, her face flamed--she grew hot all +over. What should she do now? She could not think. Confused with her +shame was the memory of a delirious joy, yet no sooner would she give +herself up, trembling, to this memory when in turn it was penetrated by +qualms of resentment, defiling its purity. Was Ditmar ashamed of her?... +When she reached home and had got into bed she wept a little, but her +tears were neither of joy nor sorrow. Her capacity for both was +exhausted. In this strange mood she fell asleep nor did she waken when, +at midnight, Lise stealthily crept in beside her. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +Ditmar stood staring after the trolley car that bore Janet away until it +became a tiny speck of light in the distance. Then he started to walk +toward Hampton; in the unwonted exercise was an outlet for the pent-up +energy her departure had thwarted; and presently his body was warm with a +physical heat that found its counterpart in a delicious, emotional glow +of anticipation, of exultant satisfaction. After all, he could not +expect to travel too fast with her. Had he not at least gained a signal +victory? When he remembered her lips--which she had indubitably given +him!--he increased his stride, and in what seemed an incredibly brief +time he had recrossed the bridge, covered the long residential blocks of +Warren Street, and gained his own door. + +The house was quiet, the children having gone to bed, and he groped his +way through the dark parlour to his den, turning on the electric switch, +sinking into an armchair, and lighting a cigar. He liked this room of +his, which still retained something of that flavour of a refuge and +sanctuary it had so eminently possessed in the now forgotten days of +matrimonial conflict. One of the few elements of agreement he had held +in common with the late Mrs. Ditmar was a similarity of taste in +household decoration, and they had gone together to a great emporium in +Boston to choose the furniture and fittings. The lamp in the centre of +the table was a bronze column supporting a hemisphere of heavy red and +emerald glass, the colours woven into an intricate and bizarre design, +after the manner of the art nouveau--so the zealous salesman had informed +them. Cora Ditmar, when exhibiting this lamp to admiring visitors, had +remembered the phrase, though her pronunciation of it, according to the +standard of the Sorbonne, left something to be desired. The table and +chairs, of heavy, shiny oak marvellously and precisely carved by +machines, matched the big panels of the wainscot. The windows were high +in the wall, thus preventing any intrusion from the clothes-yard on which +they looked. The bookcases, protected by leaded panes, held countless +volumes of the fiction from which Cora Ditmar had derived her knowledge +of the great world outside of Hampton, together with certain sets she had +bought, not only as ornaments, but with a praiseworthy view to future +culture,--such as Whitmarsh's Library of the Best Literature. These +volumes, alas, were still uncut; but some of the pages of the novels--if +one cared to open them--were stained with chocolate. The steam radiator +was a decoration in itself, the fireplace set in the red and yellow tiles +that made the hearth. Above the oak mantel, in a gold frame, was a large +coloured print of a Magdalen, doubled up in grief, with a glory of loose, +Titian hair, chosen by Ditmar himself as expressing the nearest possible +artistic representation of his ideal of the female form. Cora Ditmar's +objections on the score of voluptuousness and of insufficient clothing +had been vain. She had recognized no immorality of sentimentality in the +art itself; what she felt, and with some justice, was that this +particular Magdalen was unrepentant, and that Ditmar knew it. And the +picture remained an offence to her as long as she lived. Formerly he had +enjoyed the contemplation of this figure, reminding him, as it did, of +mellowed moments in conquests of the past; suggesting also possibilities +of the future. For he had been quick to discount the attitude of bowed +despair, the sop flung by a sensuous artist to Christian orthodoxy. He +had been sceptical about despair--feminine despair, which could always be +cured by gifts and baubles. But to-night, as he raised his eyes, he felt +a queer sensation marring the ecstatic perfection of his mood. That +quality in the picture which so long had satisfied and entranced him had +now become repellent, an ugly significant reflection of something-- +something in himself he was suddenly eager to repudiate and deny. +It was with a certain amazement that he found himself on his feet with +the picture in his hand, gazing at the empty space where it had hung. +For he had had no apparent intention of obeying that impulse. What +should he do with it? Light the fire and burn it--frame and all? The +frame was an integral part of it. What would his housekeeper say? But +now that he had actually removed it from the wall he could not replace +it, so he opened the closet door and thrust it into a corner among relics +which had found refuge there. He had put his past in the closet; yet the +relief he felt was mingled with the peculiar qualm that follows the +discovery of symptoms never before remarked. Why should this woman have +this extraordinary effect of making him dissatisfied with himself? He +sat down again and tried to review the affair from that first day when he +had surprised in her eyes the flame dwelling in her. She had completely +upset his life, increasingly distracted his mind until now he could +imagine no peace unless he possessed her. Hitherto he had recognized in +his feeling for her nothing but that same desire he had had for other +women, intensified to a degree never before experienced. But this sudden +access of morality--he did not actually define it as such--was +disquieting. And in the feverish, semi-objective survey he was now +making of his emotional tract he was discovering the presence of other +disturbing symptoms such as an unwonted tenderness, a consideration +almost amounting to pity which at times he had vaguely sensed yet never +sought imaginatively to grasp. It bewildered him by hampering a +ruthlessness hitherto absolute. The fierceness of her inflamed his +passion, yet he recognized dimly behind this fierceness an instinct of +selfprotection--and he thought of her in this moment as a struggling bird +that fluttered out of his hands when they were ready to close over her. +So it had been to-night. He might have kept her, prevented her from +taking the car. Yet he had let her go! There came again, utterly to +blot this out, the memory of her lips. + +Even then, there had been something sorrowful in that kiss, a quality he +resented as troubling, a flavour that came to him after the wildness was +spent. What was she struggling against? What was behind her resistance? +She loved him! It had never before occurred to him to enter into the +nature of her feelings, having been so preoccupied with and tortured by +his own. This realization, that she loved him, as it persisted, began to +make him uneasy, though it should, according to all experience, have been +a reason for sheer exultation. He began to see that with her it involved +complications, responsibilities, disclosures, perhaps all of those things +he had formerly avoided and resented in woman. He thought of certain +friends of his who had become tangled up--of one in particular whose bank +account had been powerless to extricate him.... And he was ashamed of +himself. + +In view of the nature of his sex experience, of his habit of applying his +imagination solely to matters of business rather than to affairs of the +heart,--if his previous episodes may be so designated,--his failure to +surmise that a wish for marriage might be at the back of her resistance +is not so surprising as it may seem; he laid down, half smoked, his third +cigar. The suspicion followed swiftly on his recalling to mind her +vehement repudiation of his proffered gifts did he think she wanted what +he could buy for her! She was not purchasable--that way. He ought to +have known it, he hadn't realized what he was saying. But marriage! +Literally it had never occurred to him to image her in a relation he +himself associated with shackles. One of the unconscious causes of his +fascination was just her emancipation from and innocence of that herd- +convention to which most women--even those who lack wedding rings--are +slaves. The force of such an appeal to a man of Ditmar's type must not +be underestimated. And the idea that she, too, might prefer the sanction +of the law, the gilded cage as a popular song which once had taken his +fancy illuminatingly expressed it--seemed utterly incongruous with the +freedom and daring of her spirit, was a sobering shock. Was he prepared +to marry her, if he could obtain her in no other way? The question +demanded a survey of his actual position of which he was at the moment +incapable. There were his children! He had never sought to arrive at +even an approximate estimate of the boy and girl as factors in his life, +to consider his feelings toward them; but now, though he believed himself +a man who gave no weight to social considerations--he had scorned this +tendency in his wife--he was to realize the presence of ambitions for +them. He was young, he was astonishingly successful; he had reason to +think, with his opportunities and the investments he already had made, +that he might some day be moderately rich; and he had at times even +imagined himself in later life as the possessor of one of those elaborate +country places to be glimpsed from the high roads in certain localities, +which the sophisticated are able to recognize as the seats of the +socially ineligible, but which to Ditmar were outward and visible emblems +of success. He liked to think of George as the inheritor of such a +place, as the son of a millionaire, as a "college graduate," as an +influential man of affairs; he liked to imagine Amy as the wife of such +another. In short, Ditmar's wife had left him, as an unconscious legacy, +her aspirations for their children's social prestige.... + +The polished oak grandfather's clock in the hall had struck one before he +went to bed, mentally wearied by an unwonted problem involving, in +addition to self-interest, an element of ethics, of affection not wholly +compounded of desire. + +He slept soundly, however. He was one of those fortunate beings who come +into the world with digestive organs and thyroid glands in that condition +which--so physiologists tell us--makes for a sanguine temperament. And +his course of action, though not decided upon, no longer appeared as a +problem; it differed from a business matter in that it could wait. As +sufficient proof of his liver having rescued him from doubts and qualms +he was able to whistle, as he dressed, and without a tremor of agitation, +the forgotten tune suggested to his consciousness during the unpleasant +reverie of the night before,--"Only a Bird in a Gilded Cage!" It was +Saturday. He ate a hearty breakfast, joked with George and Amy, and +refreshed, glowing with an expectation mingled with just the right amount +of delightful uncertainty that made the great affairs of life a gamble, +yet with the confidence of the conqueror, he walked in sunlight to the +mill. In view of this firm and hopeful tone of his being he found it all +the more surprising, as he reached the canal, to be seized by a +trepidation strong enough to bring perspiration to his forehead. What if +she had gone! He had never thought of that, and he had to admit it would +be just like her. You never could tell what she would do. + +Nodding at Simmons, the watchman, he hurried up the iron-shod stairs, +gained the outer once, and instantly perceived that her chair beside the +window was empty! Caldwell and Mr. Price stood with their heads together +bending over a sheet on which Mr. Price was making calculations. + +"Hasn't Miss Bumpus come yet?" Ditmar demanded. He tried to speak +naturally, casually, but his own voice sounded strange, seemed to strike +the exact note of sickening apprehension that suddenly possessed him. +Both men turned and looked at him in some surprise. + +"Good-morning, Mr. Ditmar," Caldwell said. "Why, yes, she's in your +room." + +"Oh!" said Ditmar. + +"The Boston office has just been calling you--they want to know if you +can't take the nine twenty-two," Caldwell went on. "It's about that +lawsuit. It comes into court Monday morning, and Mr. Sprole is there, +and they say they have to see you. Miss Bumpus has the memorandum." + +Ditmar looked at his watch. + +"Damn it, why didn't they let me know yesterday?" he exclaimed. "I won't +see anybody, Caldwell--not even Orcutt--just now. You understand. I've +got to have a little time to do some letters. I won't be disturbed--by +any one--for half an hour." + +Caldwell nodded. + +"All right, Mr. Ditmar." + +Ditmar went into his office, closing the door behind him. She was +occupied as usual, cutting open the letters and laying them in a pile +with the deftness and rapidity that characterized all she did. + +"Janet!" he exclaimed. + +"There's a message for you from Boston. I've made a note of it," she +replied. + +"I know--Caldwell told me. But I wanted to see you before I went--I had +to see you. I sat up half the night thinking of you, I woke up thinking +of you. Aren't you glad to see me?" + +She dropped the letter opener and stood silent, motionless, awaiting his +approach--a pose so eloquent of the sense of fatality strong in her as to +strike him with apprehension, unused though he was to the appraisal of +inner values. He read, darkly, something of this mystery in her eyes as +they were slowly raised to his, he felt afraid; he was swept again by +those unwonted emotions of pity and tenderness--but when she turned away +her head and he saw the bright spot of colour growing in her cheek, +spreading to her temple, suffusing her throat, when he touched the soft +contour of her arm, his passion conquered.... Still he was acutely +conscious of a resistance within her--not as before, physically directed +against him, but repudiating her own desire. She became limp in his +arms, though making no attempt to escape, and he knew that the essential +self of her he craved still evaded and defied him. And he clung to her +the more desperately--as though by crushing her peradventure he might +capture it. + +"You're hurting me," she said at last, and he let her go, standing by +helplessly while she went through the movements of readjustment +instinctive to women. Even in these he read the existence of the +reservation he was loth to acknowledge. + +"Don't you love me?" he said. + +"I don't know." + +"You do!" he said. "You--you proved it--I know it." + +She went a little away from him, picking up the paper cutter, but it lay +idle in her hand. + +"For God's sake, tell me what's the matter!" he exclaimed. "I can't +stand this. Janet, aren't you happy?" + +She shook her head. + +"Why not? I love you. I--I've never been so happy in my life as I was +this morning. Why aren't you happy--when we love each other?" + +"Because I'm not." + +"Why not? There's nothing I wouldn't do to make you happy--you know +that. Tell me!" + +"You wouldn't understand. I couldn't make you understand." + +"Is it something I've done?" + +"You don't love me," she said. "You only want me. I'm not made that +way, I'm not generous enough, I guess. I've got to have work to do." + +"Work to do! But you'll share my work--it's nothing without you." + +She shook her head. "I knew you couldn't understand. You don't realize +how impossible it is. I don't blame you--I suppose a man can't." + +She was not upbraiding him, she spoke quietly, in a tone almost lifeless, +yet the emotional effect of it was tremendous. + +"But," he began, and stopped, and was swept on again by an impulse that +drowned all caution, all reason. "But you can help me--when we are +married." + +"Married!" she repeated. "You want to marry me?" + +"Yes, yes--I need you." He took her hands, he felt them tremble in his, +her breath came quickly, but her gaze was so intent as seemingly to +penetrate to the depths of him. And despite his man's amazement at her +hesitation now that he had offered her his all, he was moved, disturbed, +ashamed as he had never been in his life. At length, when he could stand +no longer the suspense of this inquisition, he stammered out: "I want you +to be my wife." + +"You've wanted to marry me all along?" she asked. + +"I didn't think, Janet. I was mad about you. I didn't know you." + +"Do you know me now?" + +"That's just it," he cried, with a flash of clairvoyance, "I never will +know you--it's what makes you different from any woman I've ever seen. +You'll marry me?" + +"I'm afraid," she said. "Oh, I've thought over it, and you haven't. A +woman has to think, a man doesn't, so much. And now you're willing to +marry me, if you can't get me any other way." Her hand touched his coat, +checking his protest. "It isn't that I want marriage--what you can give +me--I'm not like that, I've told you so before. But I couldn't live as +your--mistress." + +The word on her lips shocked him a little--but her courage and candour +thrilled him. + +"If I stayed here, it would be found out. I wouldn't let you keep me. +I'd have to have work, you see, or I'd lose my self-respect--it's all +I've got--I'd kill myself." She spoke as calmly as though she were +reviewing the situation objectively. "And then, I've thought that you +might come to believe you really wanted to marry me--you wouldn't realize +what you were doing, or what might happen if we were married. I've tried +to tell you that, too, only you didn't seem to understand what I was +saying. My father's only a gatekeeper, we're poor--poorer than some of +the operatives in the mill, and the people you know here in Hampton +wouldn't understand. Perhaps you think you wouldn't care, but--" she +spoke with more effort, "there are your children. When I've thought of +them, it all seems impossible. I'd make you unhappy--I couldn't bear it, +I wouldn't stay with you. You see, I ought to have gone away long ago." + +Believing, as he did, that marriage was the goal of all women, even of +the best, the immediate capitulation he had expected would have made +matters far less difficult. But these scruples of hers, so startlingly +his own, her disquieting insight into his entire mental process had a +momentary checking effect, summoned up the vague presage of a future that +might become extremely troublesome and complicated. His very reluctance +to discuss with her the problem she had raised warned him that he had +been swept into deep waters. On the other hand, her splendid resistance +appealed to him, enhanced her value. And accustomed as he had been to a +lifelong self-gratification, the thought of being balked in this supreme +desire was not to be borne. Such were the shades of his feeling as he +listened to her. + +"That's nonsense!" he exclaimed, when she had finished. "You're a lady-- +I know all about your family, I remember hearing about it when your +father came here--it's as good as any in New England. What do you +suppose I care, Janet? We love each other--I've got to have you. We'll +be married in the spring, when the rush is over." + +He drew her to him once more, and suddenly, in the ardour of that +embrace, he felt her tenseness suddenly relax--as though, against her +will--and her passion, as she gave her lips, vied with his own. Her +lithe body trembled convulsively, her cheeks were wet as she clung to him +and hid her face in his shoulder. His sensations in the presence of this +thing he had summoned up in her were incomprehensible, surpassing any he +had ever known. It was no longer a woman he held in his arms, the woman +he craved, but something greater, more fearful, the mystery of sorrow and +suffering, of creation and life--of the universe itself. + +"Janet--aren't you happy?" he said again. + +She released herself and smiled at him wistfully through her tears. + +"I don't know. What I feel doesn't seem like happiness. I can't believe +in it, somehow." + +"You must believe in it," he said. + +"I can't,--perhaps I may, later. You'd better go now," she begged. +"You'll miss your train." + +He glanced at the office clock. "Confound it, I have to. Listen! I'll +be back this evening, and I'll get that little car of mine--" + +"No, not to-night--I don't want to go--to-night." + +"Why not?" + +"Not to-night," she repeated. + +"Well then, to-morrow. To-morrow's Sunday. Do you know where the Boat +Club is on the River Boulevard? I'll be there, to-morrow morning at ten. +I'd come for you, to your house," he added quickly, "but we don't want +any one to know, yet--do we?" + +She shook her head. + +"We must keep it secret for a while," he said. "Wear your new dress--the +blue one. Good-bye--sweetheart." + +He kissed her again and hurried out of the office.... Boarding the train +just as it was about to start, he settled himself in the back seat of the +smoker, lit a cigar, inhaling deep breaths of the smoke and scarcely +noticing an acquaintance who greeted him from the aisle. Well, he had +done it! He was amazed. He had not intended to propose marriage, and +when he tried to review the circumstances that had led to this he became +confused. But when he asked himself whether indeed he were willing to +pay such a price, to face the revolution marriage--and this marriage in +particular--would mean in his life, the tumult in his blood beat down his +incipient anxieties. Besides, he possessed the kind of mind able to +throw off the consideration of possible consequences, and by the time the +train had slowed down in the darkness of the North Station in Boston all +traces of worry had disappeared. The future would take care of itself. + +For the Bumpus family, supper that evening was an unusually harmonious +meal. Hannah's satisfaction over the new stove had by no means subsided, +and Edward ventured, without reproof, to praise the restored quality of +the pie crust. And in contrast to her usual moroseness and self- +absorption, even Lise was gay--largely because her pet aversion, the +dignified and allegedly amorous Mr. Waiters, floor-walker at the +Bagatelle, had fallen down the length of the narrow stairway leading from +the cashier's cage. She became almost hysterical with glee as she +pictured him lying prone beneath the counter dedicated to lingerie, +draped with various garments from the pile that toppled over on him. +"Ruby Nash picked a brassiere off his whiskers!" Lise shrieked. "She +gave the pile a shove when he landed. He's got her number all right. +But say, it was worth the price of admission to see that old mutt when he +got up, he looked like Santa Claus. All the girls in the floor were +there we nearly split trying to keep from giving him the ha-ha. And Ruby +says, sympathetic, as she brushed him off, `I hope you ain't hurt, Mr. +Waiters.' He was sore! He went around all afternoon with a bunch on his +coco as big as a potato." So vivid was Lise's account of this affair +which apparently she regarded as compensation for many days of drudgery- +that even Hannah laughed, though deploring a choice of language symbolic +of a world she feared and detested. + +"If I talked like you," said Lise, "they wouldn't understand me." + +Janet, too, was momentarily amused, drawn out of that reverie in which +she had dwelt all day, ever since Ditmar had left for Boston. Now she +began to wonder what would happen if she were suddenly to announce "I'm +going to marry Mr. Ditmar." After the first shock of amazement, she +could imagine her father's complete and complacent acceptance of the news +as a vindication of an inherent quality in the Bumpus blood. He would +begin to talk about the family. For, despite what might have been deemed +a somewhat disillusionizing experience, in the depths of his being he +still believed in the Providence who had presided over the perilous +voyage of the Mayflower and the birth of Peregrine White, whose +omniscient mind was peculiarly concerned with the family trees of +Puritans. And what could be a more striking proof of the existence of +this Providence, or a more fitting acknowledgment on his part of the +Bumpus virtues, than that Janet should become the wife of the agent of +the Chippering Mills? Janet smiled. She was amused, too, by the thought +that Lise's envy would be modified by the prospect of a heightened social +status; since Lise, it will be remembered, had her Providence likewise. +Hannah's god was not a Providence, but one deeply skilled in persecution, +in ingenious methods of torture; one who would not hesitate to dangle +baubles before the eyes of his children--only to snatch them away again. +Hannah's pessimism would persist as far as the altar, and beyond! + +On the whole, such was Janet's notion of the Deity, though deep within +her there may have existed a hope that he might be outwitted; that, by +dint of energy and brains, the fair things of life might be obtained +despite a malicious opposition. And she loved Ditmar. This must be love +she felt, this impatience to see him again, this desire to be with him, +this agitation possessing her so utterly that all day long she had dwelt +in an unwonted state like a somnambulism: it must be love, though not +resembling in the least the generally accepted, virginal ideal. She saw +him as he was, crude, powerful, relentless in his desire; his very faults +appealed. His passion had overcome his prudence, he had not intended to +propose, but any shame she felt on this score was put to flight by a +fierce exultation over the fact that she had brought him to her feet, +that he wanted her enough to marry her. It was wonderful to be wanted +like that! But she could not achieve the mental picture of herself as +Ditmar's wife--especially when, later in the evening, she walked up +Warren Street and stood gazing at his house from the opposite pavement. +She simply could not imagine herself living in that house as its +mistress. Notwithstanding the testimony of the movies, such a +Cinderella-like transition was not within the realm of probable facts; +things just didn't happen that way. + +She recalled the awed exclamation of Eda when they had walked together +along Warren Street on that evening in summer: "How would you like to +live there!"--and hot with sudden embarrassment and resentment she had +dragged her friend onward, to the corner. In spite of its size, of the +spaciousness of existence it suggested, the house had not appealed to her +then. Janet did not herself realize or estimate the innate if +undeveloped sense of form she possessed, the artist-instinct that made +her breathless on first beholding Silliston Common. And then the vision +of Silliston had still been bright; but now the light of a slender moon +was as a gossamer silver veil through which she beheld the house, as in a +stage setting, softening and obscuring its lines, lending it qualities of +dignity and glamour that made it seem remote, unreal, unattainable. And +she felt a sudden, overwhelming longing, as though her breast would +burst.... + +Through the drawn blinds the lights in the second storey gleamed yellow. +A dim lamp burned in the deep vestibule, as in a sanctuary. And then, as +though some supernaturally penetrating ray had pierced a square hole in +the lower walls, a glimpse of the interior was revealed to her, of the +living room at the north end of the house. Two figures chased one +another around the centre table--Ditmar's children! Was Ditmar there? +Impelled irresistibly by a curiosity overcoming repugnance and fear, she +went forward slowly across the street, gained the farther pavement, +stepped over the concrete coping, and stood, shivering violently, on the +lawn, feeling like an interloper and a thief, yet held by morbid +fascination. The children continued to romp. The boy was strong and +swift, the girl stout and ungainly in her movements, not mistress of her +body; he caught her and twisted her arm, roughly--Janet could hear her +cries through the window-=when an elderly woman entered, seized him, +struggling with him. He put out his tongue at her, but presently +released his sister, who stood rubbing her arm, her lips moving in +evident recrimination and complaint. The faces of the two were plain +now; the boy resembled Ditmar, but the features of the girl, heavy and +stamped with self-indulgence, were evidently reminiscent of the woman who +had been his wife. Then the shade was pulled down, abruptly; and Janet, +overcome by a sense of horror at her position, took to flight.... + +When, after covering the space of a block she slowed down and tried to +imagine herself as established in that house, the stepmother of those +children, she found it impossible. Despite the fact that her attention +had been focussed so strongly on them, the fringe of her vision had +included their surroundings, the costly furniture, the piano against the +farther wall, the music rack. Evidently the girl was learning to play. +She felt a renewed, intenser bitterness against her own lot: she was +aware of something within her better and finer than the girl, than the +woman who had been her mother had possessed--that in her, Janet, had +lacked the advantages of development. Could it--could it ever be +developed now? Had this love which had come to her brought her any +nearer to the unknown realm of light she craved?... + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +Though December had come, Sunday was like an April day before whose +sunlight the night-mists of scruples and morbid fears were scattered and +dispersed. And Janet, as she fared forth from the Fillmore Street flat, +felt resurging in her the divine recklessness that is the very sap of +life. The future, save of the immediate hours to come, lost its power +over her. The blue and white beauty of the sky proclaimed all things +possible for the strong; and the air was vibrant with the sweet music of +bells, calling her to happiness. She was going to meet happiness, to +meet love--to meet Ditmar! The trolley which she took in Faber Street, +though lagging in its mission, seemed an agent of that happiness as it +left the city behind it and wound along the heights beside the tarvia +roadway above the river, bright glimpses of which she caught through the +openings in the woods. And when she looked out of the window on her +right she beheld on a little forested rise a succession of tiny "camps" +built by residents of Hampton whose modest incomes could not afford more +elaborate summer places; camps of all descriptions and colours, with +queer names that made her smile: "The Cranny," "The Nook," "Snug +Harbour," "Buena Vista,"--of course,--which she thought pretty, though +she did not know its meaning; and another, in German, equally perplexing, +"Klein aber Mein." Though the windows of these places were now boarded +up, though the mosquito netting still clung rather dismally to the +porches, they were mutely suggestive of contentment and domestic joy. + +Scarcely had she alighted from the car at the rendezvous he had +mentioned, beside the now deserted boathouse where in the warm weather +the members of the Hampton Rowing Club disported themselves, when she saw +an automobile approaching--and recognized it as the gay "roadster" Ditmar +had exhibited to her that summer afternoon by the canal; and immediately +Ditmar himself, bringing it to a stop and leaping from it, stood before +her in the sunlight, radiating, as it seemed, more sunlight still. With +his clipped, blond moustache and his straw-coloured hair--as yet but +slightly grey at the temples--he looked a veritable conquering berserker +in his huge coat of golden fur. Never had he appeared to better +advantage. + +"I was waiting for you," he said, "I saw you in the car." Turning to the +automobile, he stripped the tissue paper from a cluster of dark red roses +with the priceless long stems of which Lise used to rave when she worked +in the flower store. And he held the flowers against her suit her new +suit she had worn for this meeting. + +"Oh," she cried, taking a deep, intoxicating breath of their fragrance. +"You brought these--for me?" + +"From Boston--my beauty!" + +"But I can't wear all of them!" + +"Why not?" he demanded. "Haven't you a pin?" + +She produced one, attaching them with a gesture that seemed habitual, +though the thought of their valuerevealing in some degree her own worth +in his eyes-unnerved her. She was warmly conscious of his gaze. Then he +turned, and opening a compartment at the back of the car drew from it a +bright tweed motor coat warmly lined. + +"Oh, no!" she protested, drawing back. "I'll--I'll be warm enough." But +laughingly, triumphantly, he seized her and thrust her arms in the +sleeves, his fingers pressing against her. Overcome by shyness, she drew +away from him. + +"I made a pretty good guess at the size--didn't I, Janet?" he cried, +delightedly surveying her. "I couldn't forget it!" His glance grew more +concentrated, warmer, penetrating. + +"You mustn't look at me like that!" she pleaded with lowered eyes. + +"Why not--you're mine--aren't you? You're mine, now." + +"I don't know. There are lots of things I want to talk about," she +replied, but her protest sounded feeble, unconvincing, even to herself. +He fairly lifted her into the automobile--it was a caress, only tempered +by the semipublicity of the place. He was giving her no time to think-- +but she did not want to, think. Starting the engine, he got in and +leaned toward her. + +"Not here!" she exclaimed. + +"All right--I'll wait," he agreed, tucking the robe about her deftly, +solicitously, and she sank back against the seat, surrendering herself to +the luxury, the wonder of being cherished, the caressing and sheltering +warmth she felt of security and love, the sense of emancipation from +discontent and sordidness and struggle. For a moment she closed her +eyes, but opened them again to behold the transformed image of herself +reflected in the windshield to confirm the illusion--if indeed it were +one! The tweed coat seemed startlingly white in the sunlight, and the +woman she saw, yet recognized as herself, was one of the fortunately +placed of the earth with power and beauty at her command! And she could +no longer imagine herself as the same person who the night before had +stood in front of the house in Warren Street. The car was speeding over +the smooth surface of the boulevard; the swift motion, which seemed to +her like that of flying, the sparkling air, the brightness of the day, +the pressure of Ditmar's shoulder against hers, thrilled her. She +marvelled at his sure command over the machine, that responded like a +live thing to his touch. On the wide, straight stretches it went at a +mad pace that took her breath, and again, in turning a corner or passing +another car, it slowed down, purring in meek obedience. Once she gasped: +"Not so fast! I can't stand it." + +He laughed and obeyed her. They glided between river and sky across the +delicate fabric of a bridge which but a moment before she had seen in the +distance. Running through the little village on the farther bank, they +left the river. + +"Where are you going?" she asked. + +"Oh, for a little spin," he answered indulgently, turning into a side +road that wound through the woods and suddenly stopping. "Janet, we've +got this day--this whole day to ourselves." He seized and drew her to +him, and she yielded dizzily, repaying the passion of his kiss, forgetful +of past and future while he held her, whispering brokenly endearing +phrases. + +"You'll ruin my roses," she protested breathlessly, at last, when it +seemed that she could no longer bear this embrace, nor the pressure of +his lips. "There! you see you're crushing them!" She undid them, and +buttoning the coat, held them to her face. Their odour made her faint: +her eyes were clouded. + +"Listen, Claude!" she said at last,--it was the first time she had called +him so--getting free. "You must be sensible! some one might come along." + +"I'll never get enough of you!" he said. "I can't believe it yet." And +added irrelevantly: "Pin the roses outside." + +She shook her head. Something in her protested against this too public +advertisement of their love. + +"I'd rather hold them," she answered. "Let's go on." He started the car +again. "Listen, I want to talk to you, seriously. I've been thinking." + +"Don't I know you've been thinking!" he told her exuberantly. "If I +could only find out what's always going on in that little head of yours! +If you keep on thinking you'll dry up, like a New England school-marm. +And now do you know what you are? One of those dusky red roses just +ready to bloom. Some day I'll buy enough to smother you in 'em." + +"Listen!" she repeated, making a great effort to calm herself, to regain +something of that frame of mind in which their love had assumed the +proportions of folly and madness, to summon up the scruples which, before +she had left home that morning, she had resolved to lay before him, which +she knew would return when she could be alone again. "I have to think-- +you won't," she exclaimed, with a fleeting smile. + +"Well, what is it?" he assented. "You might as well get it off now." + +And it took all her strength to say: "I don't see how I can marry you. +I've told you the reasons. You're rich, and you have friends who +wouldn't understand--and your children--they wouldn't understand. I--I'm +nothing, I know it isn't right, I know you wouldn't be happy. I've never +lived--in the kind of house you live in and known the kind of people you +know, I shouldn't know what to do." + +He took his eyes off the road and glanced down at her curiously. His +smile was self-confident, exultant. + +"Now do you feel better--you little Puritan?" he said. + +And perforce she smiled in return, a pucker appearing between her +eyebrows. + +"I mean it," she said. "I came out to tell you so. I know--it just +isn't possible." + +"I'd marry you to-day if I could get a license," he declared. "Why, +you're worth any woman in America, I don't care who she is, or how much +money she has." + +In spite of herself she was absurdly pleased. + +"Now that is over, we won't discuss it again, do you understand? I've +got you," he said, "and I mean to hold on to you." + +She sighed. He was driving slowly now along the sandy road, and with his +hand on hers she simply could not think. The spell of his nearness, of +his touch, which all nature that morning conspired to deepen, was too +powerful to be broken, and something was calling to her, "Take this day, +take this day," drowning out the other voice demanding an accounting. +She was living--what did it all matter? She yielded herself to the +witchery of the hour, the sheer delight of forthfaring into the unknown. + +They turned away from the river, crossing the hills of a rolling country +now open, now wooded, passing white farmhouses and red barns, and +ancient, weather-beaten dwellings with hipped roofs and "lean-tos" which +had been there in colonial days when the road was a bridle-path. Cows +and horses stood gazing at them from warm paddocks, where the rich, black +mud glistened, melted by the sun; chickens scratched and clucked in the +barnyards or flew frantically across the road, sometimes within an ace of +destruction. Janet flinched, but Ditmar would laugh, gleefully, +boyishly. + +"We nearly got that one!" he would exclaim. And then he had to assure +her that he wouldn't run over them. + +"I haven't run over one yet,--have I?" he would demand. + +"No, but you will, it's only luck." + +"Luck!" he cried derisively. "Skill! I wish I had a dollar for every +one I got when I was learning to drive. There was a farmer over here in +Chester--" and he proceeded to relate how he had had to pay for two +turkeys. "He got my number, the old hayseed, he was laying for me, and +the next time I went back that way he held me up for five dollars. I can +remember the time when a man in a motor was an easy mark for every reuben +in the county. They got rich on us." + +She responded to his mood, which was wholly irresponsible, exuberant, and +they laughed together like children, every little incident assuming an +aspect irresistibly humorous. Once he stopped to ask an old man standing +in his dooryard how far it was to Kingsbury. + +"Wal, mebbe it's two mile, they mostly call it two," said the patriarch, +after due reflection, gathering his beard in his band. "Mebbe it's +more." His upper lip was blue, shaven, prehensile. + +"What did you ask him for, when you know?" said Janet, mirthfully, when +they had gone on, and Ditmar was imitating him. Ditmar's reply was to +wink at her. Presently they saw another figure on the road. + +"Let's see what he'll say," Ditmar proposed. This man was young, the +colour of mahogany, with glistening black hair and glistening black eyes +that regarded the too palpable joyousness of their holiday humour in mute +surprise. + +"I no know--stranger," he said. + +"No speaka Portugueso?" inquired Ditmar, gravely. + +"The country is getting filthy with foreigners," he observed, when he had +started the car. "I went down to Plymouth last summer to see the old +rock, and by George, it seemed as if there wasn't anybody could speak +American on the whole cape. All the Portuguese islands are dumped there- +-cranberry pickers, you know." + +"I didn't know that," said Janet. + +"Sure thing!" he exclaimed. "And when I got there, what do you think? +there was hardly enough of the old stone left to stand on, and that had a +fence around it like an exhibit in an exposition. It had all been +chipped away by souvenir hunters." + +She gazed at him incredulously. + +"You don't believe me! I'll take you down there sometime. And another +thing, the rock's high and dry--up on the land. I said to Charlie Crane, +who was with me, that it must have been a peach of a jump for old Miles +Standish and Priscilla what's her name." + +"How I'd love to see the ocean again!" Janet exclaimed. + +"Why, I'll take you--as often as you like," he promised. "We'll go out +on it in summer, up to Maine, or down to the Cape." + +Her enchantment was now so great that nothing seemed impossible. + +"And we'll go down to Plymouth, too, some Sunday soon, if this weather +keeps up. If we start early enough we can get there for lunch, easy. +We'll see the rock. I guess some of your ancestors must have come over +with that Mayflower outfit--first cabin, eh? You look like it." + +Janet laughed. "It's a joke on them, if they did. I wonder what they'd +think of Hampton, if they could see it now. I counted up once, just to +tease father--he's the seventh generation from Ebenezer Bumpus, who came +to Dolton. Well, I proved to him he might have one hundred and twenty- +six other ancestors besides Ebenezer and his wife." + +"That must have jarred him some," was Ditmar's comment. "Great old man, +your father. I've talked to him--he's a regular historical society all +by himself. Well, there must be something in it, this family business. +Now, you can tell he comes from fine old American stock-he looks it." + +Janet flushed. "A lot of good it does!" she exclaimed. + +"I don't know," said Ditmar. "It's something to fall back on--a good +deal. And he hasn't got any of that nonsense in his head about labour +unions--he's a straight American. And you look the part," he added. +"You remind me--I never thought of it until now--you remind me of a +picture of Priscilla I saw once in a book of poems Longfellow's, you +know. I'm not much on literature, but I remember that, and I remember +thinking she could have me. Funny isn't it, that you should have come +along? But you've got more ginger than the woman in that picture. I'm +the only man that ever guessed it isn't that so?" he asked jealously. + +"You're wonderful!" retorted Janet, daringly. + +"You just bet I am, or I couldn't have landed you," he asserted. "You're +chock full of ginger, but it's been all corked up. You're so prim-so +Priscilla." He was immensely pleased with the adjective he had coined, +repeating it. "It's a great combination. When I think of it, I want to +shake you, to squeeze you until you scream." + +"Then please don't think of it," she said. + +"That's easy!" he exclaimed, mockingly. + +At a quarter to one they entered a sleepy village reminiscent of a New +England of other days. The long street, deeply shaded in summer, was +bordered by decorous homes, some of which had stood there for a century +and a half; others were of the Mansard period. The high school, of +strawberry-coloured brick, had been the pride and glory of the Kingsbury +of the '70s: there were many churches, some graceful and some hideous. +At the end of the street they came upon a common, surrounded by stone +posts and a railing, with a monument in the middle of it, and facing the +common on the north side was a rambling edifice with many white gables, +in front of which, from an iron arm on a post, swung a quaint sign, +"Kingsbury Tavern." In revolutionary and coaching days the place bad +been a famous inn; and now, thanks to the enterprise of a man who had +foreseen the possibilities of an era of automobiles, it had become even +more famous. A score of these modern vehicles were drawn up before it +under the bare, ancient elms; there was a scene of animation on the long +porch, where guests strolled up and down or sat in groups in the rocking- +chairs which the mild weather had brought forth again. Ditmar drew up in +line with the other motors, and stopped. + +"Well, here we are!" he exclaimed, as he pulled off his gauntlets. "I +guess I could get along with something to eat. How about you? They +treat you as well here as any place I know of in New England." + +He assumed their lunching together at a public place as a matter of +course to which there could not possibly be an objection, springing out +of the car, removing the laprobe from her knees, and helping her to +alight. She laid the roses on the seat. + +"Aren't you going to bring them along?" he demanded. + +"I'd rather not," she said. "Don't you think they'll be safe here?" + +"Oh, I guess so," he replied. She was always surprising him; but her +solicitation concerning them was a balm, and he found all such +instinctive acts refreshing. + +"Afraid of putting up too much of a front, are you?" he asked smilingly. + +"I'd rather leave them here," she replied. As she walked beside Ditmar +to the door she was excited, unwontedly self-conscious, painfully aware +of inspection by the groups on the porch. She had seen such people as +these hurrying in automobiles through the ugliness of Faber Street in +Hampton toward just such delectable spots as this village of Kingsbury-- +people of that world of freedom and privilege from which she was +excluded; Ditmar's world. He was at home here. But she? The delusion +that she somehow had been miraculously snatched up into it was marred by +their glances. What were they thinking of her? Her face was hot as she +passed them and entered the hall, where more people were gathered. But +Ditmar's complacency, his ease and self-confidence, his manner of owning +the place, as it were, somewhat reassured her. He went up to the desk, +behind which, stood a burly, red-complexioned man who greeted him +effusively, yet with the air of respect accorded the powerful. + +"Hullo, Eddie," said Ditmar. "You've got a good crowd here to-day. Any +room for me?" + +"Sure, Mr. Ditmar, we can always make room for you. Well, I haven't laid +eyes on you for a dog's age. Only last Sunday Mr. Crane was here, and I +was asking him where you'd been keeping yourself." + +"Why, I've been busy, Eddie. I've landed the biggest order ever heard of +in Hampton. Some of us have to work, you know; all you've got to do is +to loaf around this place and smoke cigars and rake in the money." + +The proprietor of the Kingsbury Tavern smiled indulgently at this +persiflage. + +"Let me present you to Miss Bumpus," said Ditmar. "This is my friend, +Eddie Hale," he added, for Janet's benefit. "And when you've eaten his +dinner you'll believe me when I say he's got all the other hotel men +beaten a mile." + +Janet smiled and flushed. She had been aware of Mr. Hale's discreet +glance. + +"Pleased to meet you, Miss Bumpus," he said, with a somewhat elaborate +bow. + +"Eddie," said Ditmar, "have you got a nice little table for us?" + +"It's a pity I didn't know you was coming, but I'll do my best," declared +Mr. Hale, opening the door in the counter. + +"Oh, I guess you can fix us all right, if you want to, Eddie." + +"Mr. Ditmar's a great josher," Mr. Hale told Janet confidentially as he +escorted them into the dining-room. And Ditmar, gazing around over the +heads of the diners, spied in an alcove by a window a little table with +tilted chairs. + +"That one'll do," he said. + +"I'm sorry, but it's engaged," apologized Mr. Hale. + +"Forget it, Eddie--tell 'em they're late," said Ditmar, making his way +toward it. + +The proprietor pulled out Janet's chair. + +"Say," he remarked, "it's no wonder you get along in business." + +"Well, this is cosy, isn't it?" said Ditmar to Janet when they were +alone. He handed her the menu, and snapped his fingers for a waitress. + +"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to this place?" she asked. + +"I wanted to surprise you. Don't you like it?" + +"Yes," she replied. "Only--" + +"Only, what?" + +"I wish you wouldn't look at me like that--here." + +"All right. I'll try to be good until we get into the car again. You +watch me! I'll behave as if we'd been married ten years." + +He snapped his fingers again, and the waitress hurried up to take their +orders. + +"Kingsbury's still dry, I guess," he said to the girl, who smiled +sympathetically, somewhat ruefully. When she had gone he began to talk +to Janet about the folly, in general, of prohibition, the fusel oil +distributed on the sly. "I'll bet I could go out and find half a dozen +rum shops within a mile of here!" he declared. + +Janet did not doubt it. Ditmar's aplomb, his faculty of getting what he +wanted, had amused and distracted her. She was growing calmer, able to +scrutinize, at first covertly and then more boldly the people at the +other tables, only to discover that she and Ditmar were not the objects +of the universal curiosity she had feared. Once in a while, indeed, she +encountered and then avoided the glance of some man, felt the admiration +in it, was thrilled a little, and her sense of exhilaration returned as +she regained her poise. She must be nice looking--more than that--in her +new suit. On entering the tavern she had taken off the tweed coat, which +Ditmar had carried and laid on a chair. This new and amazing adventure +began to go to her head like wine.... + +When luncheon was over they sat in a sunny corner of the porch while +Ditmar smoked his cigar. His digestion was good, his spirits high, his +love-making--on account of the public nature of the place--surreptitious +yet fervent. The glamour to which Janet had yielded herself was on +occasions slightly troubled by some new and enigmatic element to be +detected in his voice and glances suggestive of intentions vaguely +disquieting. At last she said: + +"Oughtn't we to be going home?" + +"Home!" he ridiculed the notion. "I'm going to take you to the prettiest +road you ever saw--around by French's Lower Falls. I only wish it was +summer." + +"I must be home before dark," she told him. "You see, the family don't +know where I am. I haven't said anything to them about--about this." + +"That's right," he said, after a moment's hesitation: + +"I didn't think you would. There's plenty of time for that--after things +get settled a little--isn't there?" + +She thought his look a little odd, but the impression passed as they +walked to the motor. He insisted now on her pinning the roses on the +tweed coat, and she humoured him. The winter sun had already begun to +drop, and with the levelling rays the bare hillsides, yellow and brown in +the higher light, were suffused with pink; little by little, as the sun +fell lower, imperceptible clouds whitened the blue cambric of the sky, +distant copses were stained lilac. And Janet, as she gazed, wondered at +a world that held at once so much beauty, so much joy and sorrow,--such +strange sorrow as began to invade her now, not personal, but cosmic. At +times it seemed almost to suffocate her; she drew in deep breaths of air: +it was the essence of all things--of the man by her side, of herself, of +the beauty so poignantly revealed to her. + +Gradually Ditmar became conscious of this detachment, this new evidence +of an extraordinary faculty of escaping him that seemed unimpaired. +Constantly he tried by leaning closer to her, by reaching out his hand, +to reassure himself that she was at least physically present. And though +she did not resent these tokens, submitting passively, he grew perplexed +and troubled; his optimistic atheism concerning things unseen was +actually shaken by the impression she conveyed of beholding realities +hidden from him. Shadows had begun to gather in the forest, filmy mists +to creep over the waters. He asked if she were cold, and she shook her +head and sighed as one coming out of a trance, smiling at him. + +"It's been a wonderful day!" she said. + +"The greatest ever!" he agreed. And his ardour, mounting again, swept +away the unwonted mood of tenderness and awe she had inspired in him, +made him bold to suggest the plan which had been the subject of an +ecstatic contemplation. + +"I'll tell you what we'll do," he said, "we'll take a little run down to +Boston and have dinner together. We'll be there in an hour, and back by +ten o'clock." + +"To Boston!" she repeated. "Now?" + +"Why not?" he said, stopping the car. "Here's the road--it's a boulevard +all the way." + +It was not so much the proposal as the passion in his voice, in his +touch, the passion to which she felt herself responding that filled her +with apprehension and dismay, and yet aroused her pride and anger. + +"I told you I had to be home," she said. + +"I'll have you home by ten o'clock; I promise. We're going to be +married, Janet," he whispered. + +"Oh, if you meant to marry me you wouldn't ask me to do this!" she cried. +"I want to go back to Hampton. If you won't take me, I'll walk." + +She had drawn away from him, and her hand was on the door. He seized her +arm. + +"For God's sake, don't take it that way!" he cried, in genuine alarm. +"All I meant was--that we'd have a nice little dinner. I couldn't bear +to leave you, it'll be a whole week before we get another day. Do you +suppose I'd--I'd do anything to insult you, Janet?" + +With her fingers still tightened over the door-catch she turned and +looked at him. + +"I don't know," she said slowly. "Sometimes I think you would. Why +shouldn't you? Why should you marry me? Why shouldn't you try to do +with me what you've done with other women? I don't know anything about +the world, about life. I'm nobody. Why shouldn't you?" + +"Because you're not like the other women--that's why. I love you--won't +you believe it?" He was beside himself with anxiety. "Listen--I'll take +you home if you want to go. You don't know how it hurts me to have you +think such things!" + +"Well, then, take me home," she said. It was but gradually that she +became pacified. A struggle was going on within her between these doubts +of him he had stirred up again and other feelings aroused by his +pleadings. Night fell, and when they reached the Silliston road the +lights of Hampton shone below them in the darkness. + +"You'd better let me out here," she said. "You can't drive me home." + +He brought the car to a halt beside one of the small wooden shelters +built for the convenience of passengers. + +"You forgive me--you understand, Janet?" he asked. + +"Sometimes I don't know what to think," she said, and suddenly clung to +him. "I--I forgive you. I oughtn't to suspect such things, but I'm like +that. I'm horrid and I can't help it." She began to unbutton the coat +he had bought for her. + +"Aren't you going to take it?" he said. "It's yours." + +"And what do you suppose my family would say if I told them Mr. Ditmar +had given it to me?" + +"Come on, I'll drive you home, I'll tell them I gave it to you, that +we're going to be married," he announced recklessly. + +"Oh, no!" she exclaimed in consternation. "You couldn't. You said so +yourself--that you didn't want, any one to know, now. I'll get on the +trolley." + +"And the roses?" he asked. + +She pressed them to her face, and chose one. "I'll take this," she said, +laying the rest on the seat.... + +He waited until he saw her safely on the trolley car, and then drove +slowly homeward in a state of amazement. He had been on the verge of +announcing himself to the family in Fillmore Street as her prospective +husband! He tried to imagine what that household was like; and again he +found himself wondering why she had not consented to his proposal. And +the ever-recurring question presented itselfwas he prepared to go that +length? He didn't know. She was beyond him, he had no clew to her, she +was to him as mysterious as a symphony. Certain strains of her moved him +intensely--the rest was beyond his grasp.... At supper, while his +children talked and laughed boisterously, he sat silent, restless, and in +spite of their presence the house seemed appallingly empty. + +When Janet returned home she ran to her bedroom, and taking from the +wardrobe the tissue paper that had come with her new dress, and which she +had carefully folded, she wrapped the rose in it, and put it away in the +back of a drawer. Thus smothered, its fragrance stifled, it seemed +emblematic, somehow, of the clandestine nature of her love.... + +The weeks that immediately followed were strange ones. All the elements +of life that previously had been realities, trivial yet fundamental, her +work, her home, her intercourse with the family, became fantastic. There +was the mill to which she went every day: she recognized it, yet it was +not the same mill, nor was Fillmore Street the Fillmore Street of old. +Nor did the new and feverish existence over whose borderland she had been +transported seem real, save in certain hours she spent in Ditmar's +company, when he made her forget--hers being a temperament to feel the +weight of an unnatural secrecy. She was aware, for instance, that her +mother and even her father thought her conduct odd, were anxious as to +her absences on certain nights and on Sundays. She offered no +explanation. It was impossible. She understood that the reason why they +refrained from questioning her was due to a faith in her integrity as +well as to a respect for her as a breadwinner who lead earned a right to +independence. And while her suspicion of Hannah's anxiety troubled her, +on the occasions when she thought of it, Lise's attitude disturbed her +even more. From Lise she had been prepared for suspicion, arraignment, +ridicule. What a vindication if it were disclosed that she, Janet, had a +lover--and that lover Ditmar! But Lise said nothing. She was remote, +self-absorbed. Hannah spoke about it on the evenings Janet stayed at +home. + +She would not consent to meet Ditmar every evening. Yet, as the days +succeeded one another, Janet was often astonished by the fact that their +love remained apparently unsuspected by Mr. Price and Caldwell and others +in the office. They must have noticed, on some occasions, the manner in +which Ditmar looked at her; and in business hours she had continually to +caution him, to keep him in check. Again, on the evening excursions to +which she consented, though they were careful to meet in unfrequented +spots, someone might easily have recognized him; and she did not like to +ponder over the number of young women in the other offices who knew her +by sight. These reflections weighed upon her, particularly when she +seemed conscious of curious glances. But what caused her the most +concern was the constantly recurring pressure to which Ditmar himself +subjected her, and which, as time went on, she found increasingly +difficult to resist. He tried to take her by storm, and when this method +failed, resorted to pleadings and supplications even harder to deny +because of the innate feminine pity she felt for him. To recount these +affairs would be a mere repetition of identical occurrences. On their +second Sunday excursion he had actually driven her, despite her +opposition, several miles on the Boston road; and her resistance only +served to inflame him the more. It seemed, afterwards, as she sat +unnerved, a miracle that she had stopped him. Then came reproaches: she +would not trust him; they could not be married at once; she must +understand that!--an argument so repugnant as to cause her to shake with +sobs of inarticulate anger. After this he would grow bewildered, then +repentant, then contrite. In contrition--had he known it--he was nearest +to victory. + +As has been said, she did not intellectualize her reasons, but the core +of her resistance was the very essence of an individuality having its +roots in a self-respecting and self-controlling inheritance--an element +wanting in her sister Lise. It must have been largely the thought of +Lise, the spectacle of Lise--often perhaps unconsciously present that +dominated her conduct; yet reinforcing such an ancestral sentiment was +another, environmental and more complicated, the result in our modern +atmosphere of an undefined feminism apt to reveal itself in many +undesirable ways, but which in reality is a logical projection of the +American tradition of liberty. To submit was not only to lose her +liberty, to become a dependent, but also and inevitably, she thought, to +lose Ditmar's love.... + +No experience, however, is emotionally continuous, nor was their intimacy +by any means wholly on this plane of conflict. There were hours when, +Ditmar's passion leaving spent itself, they achieved comradeship, in the +office and out of it; revelations for Janet when he talked of himself, +relating the little incidents she found most illuminating. And thus by +degrees she was able to build up a new and truer estimate of him. For +example, she began to perceive that his life outside of his interest in +the mills, instead of being the romance of privileged joys she had once +imagined, had been almost as empty as her own, without either unity or +direction. Her perception was none the less keen because definite terms +were wanting for its expression. The idea of him that first had +captivated her was that of an energized and focussed character +controlling with a sure hand the fortunes of a great organization; of a +power in the city and state, of a being who, in his leisure moments, +dwelt in a delectable realm from which she was excluded. She was still +acutely conscious of his force, but what she now felt was its lack of +direction--save for the portion that drove the Chippering Mills. The +rest of it, like the river, flowed away on the line of least resistance +to the sea. + +As was quite natural, this gradual discovery of what he was--or of what +he wasn't--this truer estimate, this partial disillusionment, merely +served to deepen and intensify the feeling he had aroused in her; to +heighten, likewise, the sense of her own value by confirming a belief in +her possession of certain qualities, of a kind of fibre he needed in a +helpmate. She dwelt with a woman's fascination upon the prospect of +exercising a creative influence--even while she acknowledged the fearful +possibility of his power in unguarded moments to overwhelm and destroy +her. Here was another incentive to resist the gusts of his passion. She +could guide and develop him by helping and improving herself. Hope and +ambition throbbed within her, she felt a contempt for his wife, for the +women who had been her predecessors. He had not spoken of these, save +once or twice by implication, but with what may seem a surprising +leniency she regarded them as consequences of a life lacking in content. +If only she could keep her head, she might supply that content, and bring +him happiness! The thought of his children troubled her most, but she +was quick to perceive that he got nothing from them; and even though it +were partly his own fault, she was inclined to lay the heavier blame on +the woman who had been their mother. The triviality, the emptiness of +his existence outside of the walls of the mill made her heart beat with +pure pity. For she could understand it. + +One of the many, and often humorous, incidents that served to bring about +this realization of a former aimlessness happened on their second Sunday +excursion. This time he had not chosen the Kingsbury Tavern, but another +automobilists' haunt, an enlightening indication of established habits +involving a wide choice of resorts. While he was paying for luncheon and +chatting with the proprietor, Ditmar snatched from the change he had +flung down on the counter a five dollar gold coin. + +"Now how in thunder did that get into my right-hand pocket? I always +keep it in my vest," he exclaimed; and the matter continued to disturb +him after they were in the automobile. "It's my lucky piece. I guess I +was so excited at the prospect of seeing you when I dressed this morning +I put it into my change. Just see what you do to me!" + +"Does it bring you luck?" she inquired smilingly. + +"How about you! I call you the biggest piece of luck I ever had." + +"You'd better not be too sure," she warned him. + +"Oh, I'm not worrying. I has that piece in my pocket the day I went down +to see old Stephen Chippering, when he made me agent, and I've kept it +ever since. And I'll tell you a funny thing--it's enough to make any man +believe in luck. Do you remember that day last summer I was tinkering +with the car by the canal and you came along?" + +"The day you pretended to be tinkering," she corrected him. + +He laughed. "So you were on to me?" he said. "You're a foxy one!" + +"Anyone could see you were only pretending. It made me angry, when I +thought of it afterwards." + +"I just had to do it--I wanted to talk to you. But listen to what I'm +going to tell you! It's a miracle, all right,--happening just at that +time--that very morning. I was coming back to Boston from New York on +the midnight, and when the train ran into Back Bay and I was putting on +my trousers the piece rolled out among the bed clothes. I didn't know +I'd lost it until I sat down in the Parker House to eat my breakfast, and +I suddenly felt in my pocket. It made me sick to think it was gone. +Well, I started to telephone the Pullman office, and then I made up my +mind I'd take a taxi and go down to the South Station myself, and just as +I got out of the cab there was the nigger porter, all dressed up in his +glad rags, coming out of the station! I knew him, I'd been on his car +lots of times. `Say, George,' I said, `I didn't forget you this morning, +did I?' + +"`No, suh,' said George, 'you done give me a quarter.' + +"`I guess you're mistaken, George,' says I, and I fished out a ten dollar +bill. You ought to have seen that nigger's eyes." + +"`What's this for, Mister Ditmar?' says he. + +"`For that lucky gold piece you found in lower seven,' I told him. +`We'll trade.' + +"'Was you in lower seven?--so you was!' says George. Well, he had it +all right--you bet he had it. Now wasn't that queer? The very day you +and I began to know each other!" + +"Wonderful!" Janet agreed. "Why don't you put it on your watch chain?" + +"Well, I've thought of that," he replied, with the air of having +considered all sides of the matter. "But I've got that charm of the +secret order I belong to--that's on my chain. I guess I'll keep it in my +vest pocket." + +"I didn't know you were so superstitious," she mocked. + +"Pretty nearly everybody's superstitious," he declared. And she thought +of Lise. + +"I'm not. I believe if things are going to happen well, they're going to +happen. Nothing can prevent it." + +"By thunder" he exclaimed, struck by her remark. "You are like that +You're different from any person I ever knew...." + +From such anecdotes she pieced together her new Ditmar. He spoke of a +large world she had never seen, of New York and Washington and Chicago, +where he intended to take her. In the future he would never travel +alone. And he told her of his having been a delegate to the last +National Republican Convention, explaining what a delegate was. He +gloried in her innocence, and it was pleasant to dazzle her with +impressions of his cosmopolitanism. In this, perhaps, he was not quite +so successful as he imagined, but her eyes shone. She had never even +been in a sleeping car! For her delectation he launched into an +enthusiastic description of these vehicles, of palatial compartment cars, +of limited, transcontinental trains, where one had a stenographer and a +barber at one's disposal. + +"Neither of them would do me any good," she complained. + +"You could go to the manicure," he said. + +There had been in Ditmar's life certain events which, in his anecdotal +moods, were magnified into matters of climacteric importance; high, +festal occasions on which it was sweet to reminisce, such as his visit as +Delegate at Large to that Chicago Convention. He had travelled on a +special train stocked with cigars and White Seal champagne, in the +company of senators and congressmen and ex-governors, state treasurers, +collectors of the port, mill owners, and bankers to whom he referred, as +the French say, in terms of their "little" names. He dwelt on the +magnificence of the huge hotel set on the borders of a lake like an +inland sea, and related such portions of the festivities incidental to +"the seeing of Chicago" as would bear repetition. No women belonged to +this realm; no women, at least, who were to be regarded as persons. +Ditmar did not mention them, but no doubt they existed, along with the +cigars and the White Seal champagne, contributing to the amenities. And +the excursion, to Janet, took on the complexion of a sort of glorified +picnic in the course of which, incidentally, a President of the United +States had been chosen. In her innocence she had believed the voters to +perform this function. Ditmar laughed. + +"Do you suppose we're going to let the mob run this country?" he +inquired. "Once in a while we can't get away with it as we'd like, we +have to take the best we can." + +Thus was brought home to her more and more clearly that what men strove +and fought for were the joys of prominence, privilege, and power. +Everywhere, in the great world, they demanded and received consideration. +It was Ditmar's boast that if nobody else could get a room in a crowded +New York hotel, he could always obtain one. And she was fain to concede +--she who had never known privilege--a certain intoxicating quality to +this eminence. If you could get the power, and refused to take it, the +more fool you! A topsy-turvy world, in which the stupid toiled day by +day, week by week, exhausting their energies and craving joy, while +others adroitly carried off the prize; and virtue had apparently as +little to do with the matter as fair hair or a club foot. If Janet had +ever read Darwin, she would have recognized in her lover a creature +rather wonderfully adapted to his environment; and what puzzled her, +perhaps, was the riddle that presents itself to many better informed than +herself--the utter absence in this environment of the sign of any being +who might be called God. Her perplexities--for she did have them--took +the form of an instinctive sense of inadequacy, of persistently recurring +though inarticulate convictions of the existence of elements not included +in Ditmar's categories--of things that money could not buy; of things, +too, alas! that poverty was as powerless to grasp. Stored within her, +sometimes rising to the level of consciousness, was that experience at +Silliston in the May weather when she had had a glimpse--just a glimpse! +of a garden where strange and precious flowers were in bloom. On the +other hand, this mysterious perception by her of things unseen and +hitherto unguessed, of rays of delight in the spectrum of values to which +his senses were unattuned, was for Ditmar the supreme essence of her +fascination. At moments he was at once bewildered and inebriated by the +rare delicacy of fabric of the woman whom he had somehow stumbled upon +and possessed. + +Then there were the hours when they worked together in the office. Here +she beheld Ditmar at his best. It cannot be said that his infatuation +for her was ever absent from his consciousness: he knew she was there +beside him, he betrayed it continually. But here she was in the presence +of what had been and what remained his ideal, the Chippering Mill; here +he acquired unity. All his energies were bent toward the successful +execution of the Bradlaugh order, which had to be completed on the first +of February. And as day after day went by her realization of the +magnitude of the task he had undertaken became keener. Excitement was in +the air. Ditmar seemed somehow to have managed to infuse not only +Orcutt, the superintendent, but the foremen and second hands and even the +workers with a common spirit of pride and loyalty, of interest, of +determination to carry off this matter triumphantly. The mill seemed +fairly to hum with effort. Janet's increasing knowledge of its +organization and processes only served to heighten her admiration for the +confidence Ditmar had shown from the beginning. It was superb. And now, +as the probability of the successful execution of the task tended more +and more toward certainty, he sometimes gave vent to his boyish, +exuberant spirits. + +"I told Holster, I told all those croakers I'd do it, and by thunder I +will do it, with three days' margin, too! I'll get the last shipment off +on the twenty-eighth of January. Why, even George Chippering was afraid +I couldn't handle it. If the old man was alive he wouldn't have had cold +feet." Then Ditmar added, half jocularly, half seriously, looking down +on her as she sat with her note-book, waiting for him to go on with his +dictation: "I guess you've had your share in it, too. You've been a +wonder, the way you've caught on and taken things off my shoulders. If +Orcutt died I believe you could step right into his shoes." + +"I'm sure I could step into his shoes," she replied. "Only I hope he +won't die." + +"I hope he won't, either," said Ditmar. "And as for you--" + +"Never mind me, now," she said. + +He bent over her. + +"Janet, you're the greatest girl in the world." + +Yes, she was happiest when she felt she was helping him, it gave her +confidence that she could do more, lead him into paths beyond which they +might explore together. She was useful. Sometimes, however, he seemed +to her oversanguine; though he had worked hard, his success had come too +easily, had been too uniform. His temper was quick, the prospect of +opposition often made him overbearing, yet on occasions he listened with +surprising patience to his subordinates when they ventured to differ from +his opinions. At other times Janet had seen him overrule them +ruthlessly; humiliate them. There were days when things went wrong, when +there were delays, complications, more matters to attend to than usual. +On one such day, after the dinner hour, Mr. Orcutt entered the office. +His long, lean face wore a certain expression Janet had come to know, an +expression that always irritated Ditmar--the conscientious superintendent +having the unfortunate faculty of exaggerating annoyances by his very +bearing. Ditmar stopped in the midst of dictating a peculiarly difficult +letter, and looked up sharply. + +"Well," he asked, "what's the trouble now?" + +Orcutt seemed incapable of reading storm signals. When anything +happened, he had the air of declaring, "I told you so." + +"You may remember I spoke to you once or twice, Mr. Ditmar, of the talk +over the fifty-four hour law that goes into effect in January." + +"Yes, what of it?" Ditmar cut in. "The notices have been posted, as the +law requires." + +"The hands have been grumbling, there are trouble makers among them. A +delegation came to me this noon and wanted to know whether we intended to +cut the pay to correspond to the shorter working hours." + +"Of course it's going to be cut," said Ditmar. "What do they suppose? +That we're going to pay 'em for work they don't do? The hands not paid +by the piece are paid practically by the hour, not by the day. And +there's got to be some limit to this thing. If these damned demagogues +in the legislature keep on cutting down the hours of women and children +every three years or so--and we can't run the mill without the women and +children--we might as well shut down right now. Three years ago, when +they made it fifty-six hours, we were fools to keep up the pay. I said +so then, at the conference, but they wouldn't listen to me. They +listened this time. Holster and one or two others croaked, but we shut +'em up. No, they won't get any more pay, not a damned cent." + +Orcutt had listened patiently, lugubriously. + +"I told them that." + +"What did they say?" + +"They said they thought there'd be a strike." + +"Pooh! Strike!" exclaimed Ditmar with contemptuous violence. "Do you +believe that? You're always borrowing trouble, you are. They may have a +strike at one mill, the Clarendon. I hope they do, I hope Holster gets +it in the neck--he don't know how to run a mill anyway. We won't have +any strike, our people understand when they're well off, they've got all +the work they can do, they're sending fortunes back to the old country or +piling them up in the banks. It's all bluff." + +"There was a meeting of the English branch of the I. W. W. last night. +A committee was appointed," said Orcutt, who as usual took a gloomy +satisfaction in the prospect of disaster. + +"The I. W. W.! My God, Orcutt, don't you know enough not to come in here +wasting my time talking about the I. W. W.? Those anarchists haven't got +any organization. Can't you get that through your head?" + +"All right," replied Orcutt, and marched off. Janet felt rather sorry +for him, though she had to admit that his manner was exasperating. But +Ditmar's anger, instead of cooling, increased: it all seemed directed +against the unfortunate superintendent. + +"Would you believe that a man who's been in this mill twenty-five years +could be such a fool?" he demanded. "The I. W. W.! Why not the Ku Klux? +He must think I haven't anything to do but chin. I don't know why I keep +him here, sometimes I think he'll drive me crazy." + +His eyes seemed to have grown small and red, as was always the case when +his temper got the better of him. Janet did not reply, but sat with her +pencil poised over her book. + +"Let's see, where was I?" he asked. "I can't finish that letter now. Go +out and do the others." + +Mundane experience, like a badly mixed cake, has a tendency to run in +streaks, and on the day following the incident related above Janet's +heart was heavy. Ditmar betrayed an increased shortness of temper and +preoccupation; and the consciousness that her love had lent her a +clairvoyant power to trace the source of his humours though these were +often hidden from or unacknowledged by himself--was in this instance +small consolation. She saw clearly enough that the apprehensions +expressed by Mr. Orcutt, whom he had since denounced as an idiotic old +woman, had made an impression, aroused in him the ever-abiding concern +for the mill which was his life's passion and which had been but +temporarily displaced by his infatuation with her. That other passion +was paramount. What was she beside it? Would he hesitate for a moment +to sacrifice her if it came to a choice between them? The +tempestuousness of these thoughts, when they took possession of her, +hinting as they did of possibilities in her nature hitherto unguessed and +unrevealed, astonished and frightened her; she sought to thrust them +away, to reassure herself that his concern for the successful delivery of +the Bradlaugh order was natural. During the morning, in the intervals +between interviews with the superintendents, he was self-absorbed, and +she found herself inconsistently resenting the absence of those +expressions of endearment--the glances and stolen caresses--for +indulgence in which she had hitherto rebuked him: and though pride came +to her rescue, fuel was added to her feeling by the fact that he did not +seem to notice her coolness. Since he failed to appear after lunch, she +knew he must be investigating the suspicions Orcutt had voiced; but at +six o'clock, when he had not returned, she closed up her desk and left +the office. An odour of cheap perfume pervading the corridor made her +aware of the presence of Miss Lottie Myers. + +"Oh, it's you!" said that young woman, looking up from the landing of the +stairs. "I might have known it you never make a get-away until after +six, do you?" + +"Oh, sometimes," said Janet. + +"I stayed as a special favour to-night," Miss Myers declared. "But I'm +not so stuck on my job that I can't tear myself away from it." + +"I don't suppose you are," said Janet. + +For a moment Miss Myers looked as if she was about to be still more +impudent, but her eye met Janet's, and wavered. They crossed the bridge +in silence. "Well, ta-ta," she said. "If you like it, it's up to you. +Five o'clock for mine,"--and walked away, up the canal, swinging her hips +defiantly. And Janet, gazing after her, grew hot with indignation and +apprehension. Her relations with Ditmar were suspected, after all, made +the subject of the kind of comment indulged in, sotto voce, by Lottie +Myers and her friends at the luncheon hour. She felt a mad, primitive +desire to run after the girl, to spring upon and strangle her and compel +her to speak what was in her mind and then retract it; and the motor +impulse, inhibited, caused a sensation of sickness, of unhappiness and +degradation as she turned her steps slowly homeward. Was it a +misinterpretation, after all--what Lottie Myers had implied and feared to +say?... + +In Fillnore Street supper was over, and Lise, her face contorted, her +body strained, was standing in front of the bureau "doing" her hair, her +glance now seeking the mirror, now falling again to consult a model in +one of those periodicals of froth and fashion that cause such numberless +heart burnings in every quarter of our democracy, and which are filled +with photographs of "prominent" persons at race meetings, horse shows, +and resorts, and with actresses, dancers,--and mannequins. Janet's eyes +fell on the open page to perceive that the coiffure her sister so +painfully imitated was worn by a young woman with an insolent, vapid face +and hard eyes, whose knees were crossed, revealing considerably more than +an ankle. The picture was labelled, "A dance at Palm Beach--A flashlight +of Mrs. 'Trudy' Gascoigne-Schell,"--one of those mysterious, hybrid names +which, in connection with the thoughts of New York and the visible rakish +image of the lady herself, cause involuntary shudders down the spine of +the reflecting American provincial. Some such responsive quiver, akin to +disgust, Janet herself experienced. + +"It's the very last scream," Lise was saying. "And say, if I owned a +ball dress like that I'd be somebody's Lulu all right! Can I have the +pleasure of the next maxixe, Miss Bumpus?" With deft and rapid fingers +she lead parted her hair far on the right side and pulled it down over +the left eyebrow, twisted it over her ear and tightly around her head, +inserting here and there a hairpin, seizing the hand mirror with the +cracked back, and holding it up behind her. Finally, when the operation +was finished to her satisfaction she exclaimed, evidently to the paragon +in the picture, "I get you!" Whereupon, from the wardrobe, she produced +a hat. "You sure had my number when you guessed the feathers on that +other would get draggled," she observed in high good humour, generously +ignoring their former unpleasantness on the subject. When she had pinned +it on she bent mockingly over her sister, who sat on the bed. "How d'you +like my new toque? Peekaboo! That's the way the guys rubberneck to see +if you're good lookin'." + +Lise was exalted, feverish, apparently possessed by some high secret; her +eyes shone, and when she crossed the room she whistled bars of ragtime +and executed mincing steps of the maxixe. Fumbling in the upper drawer +for a pair of white gloves (also new), she knocked off the corner of the +bureau her velvet bag; it opened as it struck the floor, and out of it +rolled a lilac vanity case and a yellow coin. Casting a suspicious, +lightning glance at Janet, she snatched up the vanity case and covered +the coin with her foot. + +"Lock the doors!" she cried, with an hysteric giggle. Then removing her +foot she picked up the coin surreptitiously. To her amazement her sister +made no comment, did not seem to have taken in the significance of the +episode. Lise had expected a tempest of indignant, searching questions, +a "third degree," as she would have put it. She snapped the bag +together, drew on her gloves, and, when she was ready to leave, with +characteristic audacity crossed the room, taking her sister's face +between her hands and kissing her. + +"Tell me your troubles, sweetheart!" she said--and did not wait to hear +them. + +Janet was incapable of speech--nor could she have brought herself to ask +Lise whether or not the money had been earned at the Bagatelle, and +remained miraculously unspent. It was possible, but highly incredible. +And then, the vanity case and the new hat were to be accounted for! The +sight of the gold piece, indeed, had suddenly revived in Janet the queer +feeling of faintness, almost of nausea she had experienced after parting +with Lottie Myers. And by some untoward association she was reminded of +a conversation she had had with Ditmar on the Saturday afternoon +following their first Sunday excursion, when, on opening her pay +envelope, she had found twenty dollars. + +"Are you sure I'm worth it?" she had demanded--and he had been quite +sure. He had added that she was worth more, much more, but that he could +not give her as yet, without the risk of comment, a sum commensurate with +the value of her services.... But now she asked herself again, was she +worth it? or was it merely--part of her price? Going to the wardrobe and +opening a drawer at the bottom she searched among her clothes until she +discovered the piece of tissue paper in which she had wrapped the rose +rescued from the cluster he had given her. The petals were dry, yet they +gave forth, still, a faint, reminiscent fragrance as she pressed them to +her face. Janet wept.... + +The following morning as she was kneeling in a corner of the room by the +letter files, one of which she had placed on the floor, she recognized +his step in the outer office, heard him pause to joke with young +Caldwell, and needed not the visual proof--when after a moment he halted +on the threshold--of the fact that his usual, buoyant spirits were +restored. He held a cigar in his hand, and in his eyes was the eager +look with which she had become familiar, which indeed she had learned to +anticipate as they swept the room in search of her. And when they fell +on her he closed the door and came forward impetuously. But her +exclamation caused him to halt in bewilderment. + +"Don't touch me!" she said. + +And he stammered out, as he stood over her:-- + +"What's the matter?" + +"Everything. You don't love me--I was a fool to believe you did." + +"Don't love you!" he repeated. "My God, what's the trouble now? What +have I done?" + +"Oh, it's nothing you've done, it's what you haven't done, it's what you +can't do. You don't really care for me--all you care for is this mill-- +when anything happens here you don't know I'm alive." + +He stared at her, and then an expression of comprehension, of intense +desire grew in his eyes; and his laugh, as he flung his cigar out of the +open window and bent down to seize her, was almost brutal. She fought +him, she tried to hurt him, and suddenly, convulsively pressed herself to +him. + +"You little tigress!" he said, as he held her. "You were jealous--were +you--jealous of the mill?" And he laughed again. "I'd like to see you +with something really to be jealous about. So you love me like that, do +you?" + +She could feel his heart beating against her. + +"I won't be neglected," she told him tensely. "I want all of you--if I +can't have all of you, I don't want any. Do you understand?" + +"Do I understand? Well, I guess I do." + +"You didn't yesterday," she reproached him, somewhat dazed by the +swiftness of her submission, and feeling still the traces of a lingering +resentment. She had not intended to surrender. "You forgot all about +me, you didn't know I was here, much less that I was hurt. Oh, I was +hurt! And you--I can tell at once when anything's wrong with you--I know +without your saying it." + +He was amazed, he might indeed have been troubled and even alarmed by +this passion he had aroused had his own passion not been at the flood. +And as he wiped away her tears with his handkerchief he could scarcely +believe his senses that this was the woman whose resistance had demanded +all his force to overcome. Indeed, although he recognized the symptoms +she betrayed as feminine, as having been registered--though feebly +compared to this! by incidents in his past, precisely his difficulty +seemed to be in identifying this complex and galvanic being as a woman, +not as something almost fearful in her significance, outside the bounds +of experience.... + +Presently she ceased to tremble, and he drew her to the window. The day +was as mild as autumn, the winter sun like honey in its mellowness; a +soft haze blurred the outline of the upper bridge. + +"Only two more days until Sunday," he whispered, caressingly, +exultantly.... + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +It had been a strange year in Hampton, unfortunate for coal merchants, +welcome to the poor. But Sunday lacked the transforming touch of +sunshine. The weather was damp and cold as Janet set out from Fillmore +Street. Ditmar, she knew, would be waiting for her, he counted on her, +and she could not bear to disappoint him, to disappoint herself. And all +the doubts and fears that from time to time had assailed her were +banished by this impulse to go to him, to be with him. He loved her! +The words, as she sat in the trolley car, ran in her head like the lilt +of a song. What did the weather matter? + +When she alighted at the lonely cross-roads snow had already begun to +fall. But she spied the automobile, with its top raised, some distance +down the lane, and in a moment she was in it, beside him, wrapped in the +coat she had now come to regard as her own. He buttoned down the +curtains and took her in his arms. + +"What shall we do to-day," she asked, "if it snows?" + +"Don't let that worry you, sweetheart," he said. "I have the chains on, +I can get through anything in this car." + +He was in high, almost turbulent spirits as he turned the car and drove +it out of the rutty lane into the state road. The snow grew thicker and +thicker still, the world was blotted out by swiftly whirling, feathery +flakes that melted on the windshield, and through the wet glass Janet +caught distorted glimpses of black pines and cedars beside the highway. + +The ground was spread with fleece. Occasionally, and with startling +suddenness, other automobiles shot like dark phantoms out of the +whiteness, and like phantoms disappeared. Presently, through the veil, +she recognized Silliston--a very different Silliston from that she had +visited on the fragrant day in springtime, when the green on the common +had been embroidered with dandelions, and the great elms whose bare +branches were now fantastically traced against the flowing veil of white- +-heavy with leaf. Vignettes emerged--only to fade!--of the old-world +houses whose quaint beauty had fascinated and moved her. And she found +herself wondering what had become of the strange man she had mistaken for +a carpenter. All that seemed to have taken place in a past life. She +asked Ditmar where he was going. + +"Boston," he told her. "There's no other place to go." + +"But you'll never get back if it goes on snowing like this." + +"Well, the trains are still running," he assured her, with a quizzical +smile. "How about it, little girl?" It was a term of endearment +derived, undoubtedly, from a theatrical source, in which he sometimes +indulged. + +She did not answer. Surprisingly, to-day, she did not care. All she +could think of, all she wanted was to go on and on beside him with the +world shut out--on and on forever. She was his--what did it matter? +They were on their way to Boston! She began, dreamily, to think about +Boston, to try to restore it in her imagination to the exalted place it +had held before she met Ditmar; to reconstruct it from vague memories of +childhood when, in two of the family peregrinations, she had crossed it. +Traces remained of emotionally-toned impressions acquired when she had +walked about the city holding Edward's hand--of a long row of stately +houses with forbidding fronts, set on a hillside, of a wide, tree-covered +space where children were playing. And her childish verdict, persisting +to-day, was one of inaccessibility, impenetrability, of jealously guarded +wealth and beauty. Those houses, and the treasures she was convinced +they must contain, were not for her! Some of the panes of glass in their +windows were purple--she remembered a little thing like that, and asking +her father the reason! He hadn't known. This purple quality had somehow +steeped itself into her memory of Boston, and even now the colour stood +for the word, impenetrable. That was extraordinary. Even now! Well, +they were going to Boston; if Ditmar had said they were going to Bagdad +it would have been quite as credible--and incredible. Wherever they were +going, it was into the larger, larger life, and walls were to crumble +before them, walls through which they would pass, even as they rent the +white veil of the storm, into regions of beauty.... + +And now the world seemed abandoned to them alone, so empty, so still were +the white villages flitting by; so empty, so still the great parkway of +the Fells stretching away and away like an enchanted forest under the +snow, like the domain of some sleeping king. And the flakes melted +silently into the black waters. And the wide avenue to which they came +led to a sleeping palace! No, it was a city, Somerville, Ditmar told +her, as they twisted in and out of streets, past stores, churches and +fire-engine houses, breasted the heights, descended steeply on the far +side into Cambridge, and crossed the long bridge over the Charles. And +here at last was Boston--Beacon Street, the heart or funnel of it, as one +chose. Ditmar, removing one of the side curtains that she might see, +with just a hint in his voice of a reverence she was too excited to +notice, pointed out the stern and respectable facades of the twin +Chippering mansions standing side by side. Save for these shrines--for +such in some sort they were to him--the Back Bay in his eyes was nothing +more than a collection of houses inhabited by people whom money and +social position made unassailable. But to-day he, too, was excited. +Never had he been more keenly aware of her sensitiveness to experience; +and he to whom it had not occurred to wonder at Boston wondered at her, +who seemed able to summon forth a presiding, brooding spirit of the place +from out of the snow. Deep in her eyes, though they sparkled, was the +reflection of some mystic vision; her cheeks were flushed. And in her +delight, vicariously his own, he rejoiced; in his trembling hope of more +delight to come, which this mentorship would enhance,--despite the fast +deepening snow he drove her up one side of Commonwealth Avenue and down +the other, encircling the Common and the Public Garden; stopping at the +top of Park Street that she might gaze up at the State House, whose +golden dome, seen through the veil, was tinged with blue. Boston! Why +not Russia? Janet was speechless for sheer lack of words to describe +what she felt.... + +At length he brought the car to a halt opposite an imposing doorway in +front of which a glass roof extended over the pavement, and Janet +demanded where they were. + +"Well, we've got to eat, haven't we?" Ditmar replied. She noticed that +he was shivering. + +"Are you cold?" she inquired with concern. + +"I guess I am, a little," he replied. "I don't know why I should be, in +a fur coat. But I'll be warm soon enough, now." + +A man in blue livery hurried toward them across the sidewalk, helping +them to alight. And Ditmar, after driving the car a few paces beyond the +entrance, led her through the revolving doors into a long corridor, paved +with marble and lighted by bulbs glowing from the ceiling, where benches +were set against the wall, overspread by the leaves of potted plants set +in the intervals between them. + +"Sit down a moment," he said to her. "I must telephone to have somebody +take that car, or it'll stay there the rest of the winter." + +She sat down on one of the benches. The soft light, the warmth, the +exotic odour of the plants, the well-dressed people who trod softly the +strip of carpet set on the marble with the air of being at home--all +contributed to an excitement, intense yet benumbing. She could not +think. She didn't want to think--only to feel, to enjoy, to wring the +utmost flavour of enchantment from these new surroundings; and her face +wore the expression of one in a dream. Presently she saw Ditmar +returning followed by a boy in a blue uniform. + +"All right," he said. At the end of the corridor was an elevator in +which they were shot to one of the upper floors; and the boy, inserting a +key in a heavy mahogany door, revealed a sitting-room. Between its +windows was a table covered with a long, white cloth reaching to the +floor, on which, amidst the silverware and glass, was set a tall vase +filled with dusky roses. Janet, drawing in a deep breath of their +fragrance, glanced around the room. The hangings, the wall-paper, the +carpet, the velvet upholstery of the mahogany chairs, of the wide lounge +in the corner were of a deep and restful green; the marble mantelpiece, +with its English coal grate, was copied--had she known it--from a mansion +of the Georgian period. The hands of a delicate Georgian clock pointed +to one. And in the large mirror behind the clock she beheld an image she +supposed, dreamily, to be herself. The bell boy was taking off her coat, +which he hung, with Ditmar's, on a rack in a corner. + +"Shall I light the fire, sir?" he asked. + +"Sure," said Ditmar. "And tell them to hurry up with lunch." + +The boy withdrew, closing the door silently behind him. + +"We're going to have lunch here!" Janet exclaimed. + +"Why not? I thought it would be nicer than a public dining-room, and +when I got up this morning and saw what the weather was I telephoned." +He placed two chairs before the fire, which had begun to blaze. "Isn't +it cosy?" he said, taking her hands and pulling her toward him. His own +hands trembled, the tips of his fingers were cold. + +"You are cold!" she said. + +"Not now--not now," he replied. The queer vibrations were in his voice +that she had heard before. "Sweetheart! This is the best yet, isn't it? +And after that trip in the storm!" + +"It's beautiful!" she murmured, gently drawing away from him and looking +around her once more. "I never was in a room like this." + +"Well, you'll be in plenty more of them," he exulted. "Sit down beside +the fire, and get warm yourself." + +She obeyed, and he took the chair at her side, his eyes on her face. As +usual, she was beyond him; and despite her exclamations of surprise, of +appreciation and pleasure she maintained the outward poise, the +inscrutability that summed up for him her uniqueness in the world of +woman. She sat as easily upright in the delicate Chippendale chair as +though she had been born to it. He made wild surmises as to what she +might be thinking. Was she, as she seemed, taking all this as a matter +of course? She imposed on him an impelling necessity to speak, to say +anything--it did not matter what--and he began to dwell on the +excellences of the hotel. She did not appear to hear him, her eyes +lingering on the room, until presently she asked:-- + +"What's the name of this hotel?" + +He told her. + +"I thought they only allowed married people to come, like this, in a +private room." + +"Oh!" he began--and the sudden perception that she had made this +statement impartially added to his perplexity. "Well," he was able to +answer, "we're as good as married, aren't we, Janet?" He leaned toward +her, he put his hand on hers. "The manager here is an old friend of +mine. He knows we're as good as married." + +"Another old friend!" she queried. And the touch of humour, in spite of +his taut nerves, delighted him. + +"Yes, yes," he laughed, rather uproariously. "I've got 'em everywhere, +as thick as landmarks." + +"You seem to," she said. + +"I hope you're hungry," he said. + +"Not very," she replied. "It's all so strange--this day, Claude. It's +like a fairy story, coming here to Boston in the snow, and this place, +and--and being with you." + +"You still love me?" he cried, getting up. + +"You must know that I do," she answered simply, raising her face to his. +And he stood gazing down into it, with an odd expression she had never +seen before...."What's the matter?" she asked. + +"Nothing--nothing," he assured her, but continued to look at her. +"You're so--so wonderful," he whispered, "I just can't believe it." + +"And if it's hard for you," she answered, "think what it must be for me!" +And she smiled up at him. + +Ditmar had known a moment of awe.... Suddenly he took her face between +his hands and pressed his rough cheek against it, blindly. His hands +trembled, his body was shaken, as by a spasm. + +"Why, you're still cold, Claude!" she cried anxiously. + +And he stammered out: "I'm not--it's you--it's having you!" + +Before she could reply to this strange exclamation, to which, +nevertheless, some fire in her leaped in response, there came a knock at +the door, and he drew away from her as he answered it. Two waiters +entered obsequiously, one bearing a serving table, the other holding +above his head a large tray containing covered dishes and glasses. + +"I could do with a cocktail!" Ditmar exclaimed, and the waiter smiled as +he served them. "Here's how!" he said, giving her a glass containing a +yellow liquid. + +She tasted it, made a grimace, and set it down hastily. + +"What's the trouble?" he asked, laughing, as she hurried to the table and +took a drink of water. + +"It's horrid!" she cried. + +"Oh, you'll get over that idea," he told her. "You'll be crazy about +'em." + +"I never want to taste another," she declared. + +He laughed again. He had taken his at a swallow, but almost nullifying +its effect was this confirmation--if indeed he had needed it--of the +extent of her inexperience. She was, in truth, untouched by the world-- +the world in which he had lived. He pulled out her chair for her and she +sat down, confronted by a series of knives, forks, and spoons on either +side of a plate of oysters. Oysters served in this fashion, needless to +say, had never formed part of the menu in Fillmore Street, or in any +Hampton restaurant where she had lunched. But she saw that Ditmar had +chosen a little fork with three prongs, and she followed his example. + +"You mustn't tell me you don't like Cotuits!" he exclaimed. + +She touched one, delicately, with her fork. + +"They're alive!" she exclaimed, though the custom of consuming them thus +was by no means unknown to her. Lise had often boasted of a taste for +oysters on the shell, though really preferring them smothered with red +catsup in a "cocktail." + +"They're alive, but they don't know it. They won't eat you," Ditmar +replied gleefully. "Squeeze a little lemon on one." Another sort of +woman, he reflected, would have feigned a familiarity with the dish. + +She obeyed him, put one in her mouth, gave a little shiver, and swallowed +it quickly. + +"Well?" he said. "It isn't bad, is it?" + +"It seems so queer to eat anything alive, and enjoy it," she said, as she +ate the rest of them. + +"If you think they're good here you ought to taste them on the Cape, +right out of the water," he declared, and went on to relate how he had +once eaten a fabulous number in a contest with a friend of his, and won a +bet. He was fond of talking about wagers he had won. Betting had lent a +zest to his life. "We'll roll down there together some day next summer, +little girl. It's a great place. You can go in swimming three times a +day and never feel it. And talk about eating oysters, you can't swallow +'em as fast as a fellow I know down there, Joe Pusey, can open 'em. It's +some trick to open 'em." + +He described the process, but she--scarcely listened. She was striving +to adjust herself to the elements of a new and revolutionary experience; +to the waiters who came and went, softly, deferentially putting hot +plates before her, helping her to strange and delicious things; a creamy +soup, a fish with a yellow sauce whose ingredients were artfully +disguised, a breast of guinea fowl, a salad, an ice, and a small cup of +coffee. Instincts and tastes hitherto unsuspected and ungratified were +aroused in her. What would it be like always to be daintily served, to +eat one's meals in this leisurely and luxurious manner? As her physical +hunger was satisfied by the dainty food, even as her starved senses drank +in the caressing warmth and harmony of the room, the gleaming fire, the +heavy scent of the flowers, the rose glow of the lights in contrast to +the storm without,--so the storm flinging itself against the windows, +powerless to reach her, seemed to typify a former existence of cold, +black mornings and factory bells and harsh sirens, of toil and +limitations. Had her existence been like that? or was it a dream, a +nightmare from which she had awakened at last? From time to time, deep +within her, she felt persisting a conviction that that was reality, this +illusion, but she fought it down. She wanted--oh, how she wanted to +believe in the illusion! + +Facing her was the agent, the genius, the Man who had snatched her from +that existence, who had at his command these delights to bestow. She +loved him, she belonged to him, he was to be her husband--yet there were +moments when the glamour of this oddly tended to dissolve, when an +objective vision intruded and she beheld herself, as though removed from +the body, lunching with a strange man in a strange place. And once it +crossed her mind--what would she think of another woman who did this? +What would she think if it were Lise? She could not then achieve a sense +of identity; it was as though she had partaken of some philtre lulling +her, inhibiting her power to grasp the fact in its enormity. And little +by little grew on her the realization of what all along she had known, +that the spell of these surroundings to which she had surrendered was an +expression of the man himself. He was the source of it. More and more, +as he talked, his eyes troubled and stirred her; the touch of his hand, +as he reached across the table and laid it on hers, burned her. When the +waiters had left them alone she could stand the strain no longer, and she +rose and strayed about the room, examining the furniture, the curtains, +the crystal pendants, faintly pink, that softened and diffused the light; +and she paused before the grand piano in the corner. + +"I'd like to be able to play!" she said. + +"You can learn," he told her. + +"I'm too old!" + +He laughed. And as he sat smoking his eyes followed her ceaselessly. + +Above the sofa hung a large print of the Circus Maximus, with crowded +tiers mounting toward the sky, and awninged boxes where sat the Vestal +Virgins and the Emperor high above a motley, serried group on the sand. +At the mouth of a tunnel a lion stood motionless, menacing, regarding +them. The picture fascinated Janet. + +"It's meant to be Rome, isn't it?" she asked. + +"What? That? I guess so." He got up and came over to her. "Sure," he +said. "I'm not very strong on history, but I read a book once, a novel, +which told how those old fellows used to like to see Christians thrown to +the lions just as we like to see football games. I'll get the book +again--we'll read it together." + +Janet shivered.... "Here's another picture," he said, turning to the +other side of the room. It was, apparently, an engraved copy of a modern +portrait, of a woman in evening dress with shapely arms and throat and a +small, aristocratic head. Around her neck was hung a heavy rope of +pearls. + +"Isn't she beautiful!" Janet sighed. + +"Beautiful!" He led her to the mirror. "Look!" he said. "I'll buy you +pearls, Janet, I want to see them gleaming against your skin. She can't +compare to you. I'll--I'll drape you with pearls." + +"No, no," she cried. "I don't want them, Claude. I don't want them. +Please!" She scarcely knew what she was saying. And as she drew away +from him her hands went out, were pressed together with an imploring, +supplicating gesture. He seized them. His nearness was suffocating her, +she flung herself into his arms, and their lips met in a long, swooning +kiss. She began instinctively but vainly to struggle, not against him-- +but against a primal thing stronger than herself, stronger than he, +stronger than codes and conventions and institutions, which yet she +craved fiercely as her being's fulfilment. It was sweeping them dizzily +--whither? The sheer sweetness and terror of it! + +"Don't, don't!" she murmured desperately. "You mustn't!" + +"Janet--we're going to be married, sweetheart,--just as soon as we can. +Won't you trust me? For God's sake, don't be cruel. You're my wife, +now--" + +His voice seemed to come from a great distance. And from a great +distance, too, her own in reply, drowned as by falling waters. + +"Do you love me?--will you love me always--always?" + +And he answered hoarsely, "Yes--always--I swear it, Janet." He had found +her lips again, he was pulling her toward a door on the far side of the +room, and suddenly, as he opened it, her resistance ceased.... + +The snow made automobiling impossible, and at half past nine that evening +Ditmar had escorted Janet to the station in a cab, and she had taken the +train for Hampton. For a while she sat as in a trance. She knew that +something had happened, something portentous, cataclysmic, which had +irrevocably changed her from the Janet Bumpus who had left Hampton that +same morning--an age ago. But she was unable to realize the +metamorphosis. In the course of a single day she had lived a lifetime, +exhausted the range of human experience, until now she was powerless to +feel any more. The car was filled with all sorts and conditions of +people returning to homes scattered through the suburbs and smaller +cities north of Boston--a mixed, Sunday-night crowd; and presently she +began, in a detached way, to observe them. Their aspects, their speech +and manners had the queer effect of penetrating her consciousness without +arousing the emotional judgments of approval or disapproval which +normally should have followed. Ordinarily she might have felt a certain +sympathy for the fragile young man on the seat beside her who sat moodily +staring through his glasses at the floor: and the group across the aisle +would surely have moved her to disgust. Two couples were seated vis-a- +vis, the men apparently making fun of a "pony" coat one of the girls was +wearing. In spite of her shrieks, which drew general attention, they +pulled it from her back--an operation regarded by the conductor himself +with tolerant amusement. Whereupon her companion, a big, blond Teuton +with an inane guffaw, boldly thrust an arm about her waist and held her +while he presented the tickets. Janet beheld all this as one sees +dancers through a glass, without hearing the music. + +Behind her two men fell into conversation. + +"I guess there's well over a foot of snow. I thought we'd have an open +winter, too." + +"Look out for them when they start in mild!" + +"I was afraid this darned road would be tied up if I waited until +morning. I'm in real estate, and there's a deal on in my town I've got +to watch every minute...." + +Even the talk between two slouch-hatted millhands, foreigners, failed at +the time to strike Janet as having any significance. They were +discussing with some heat the prospect of having their pay reduced by the +fifty-four hour law which was to come into effect on Monday. They +denounced the mill owners. + +"They speed up the machine and make work harder," said one. "I think we +goin' to have a strike sure." + +"Bad sisson too to have strike," replied the second pessimistically. "It +will be cold winter, now." + +Across the black square of the window drifted the stray lights of the +countryside, and from time to time, when the train stopped, she gazed +out, unheeding, at the figures moving along the dim station platforms. +Suddenly, without premeditation or effort, she began to live over again +the day, beginning with the wonders, half revealed, half hidden, of that +journey through the whiteness to Boston.... Awakened, listening, she +heard beating louder and louder on the shores of consciousness the waves +of the storm which had swept her away--waves like crashing chords of +music. She breathed deeply, she turned her face to the window, seeming +to behold reflected there, as in a crystal, all her experiences, little +and great, great and little. She was seated once more leaning back in +the corner of the carriage on her way to the station, she felt Ditmar's +hand working in her own, and she heard his voice pleading forgiveness-- +for her silence alarmed him. And she heard herself saying:-- + +"It was my fault as much as yours." + +And his vehement reply:-- + +"It wasn't anybody's fault--it was natural, it was wonderful, Janet. I +can't bear to see you sad." + +To see her sad! Twice, during the afternoon and evening, he had spoken +those words--or was it three times? Was there a time she had forgotten? +And each time she had answered: "I'm not sad." What she had felt indeed +was not sadness,--but how could she describe it to him when she herself +was amazed and dwarfed by it? Could he not feel it, too? Were men so +different?... In the cab his solicitation, his tenderness were only to +be compared with his bewilderment, his apparent awe of the feeling he +himself had raised up in her, and which awed her, likewise. She had +actually felt that bewilderment of his when, just before they had reached +the station, she had responded passionately to his last embrace. Even as +he returned her caresses, it had been conveyed to her amazingly by the +quality of his touch. Was it a lack all women felt in men? and were +these, even in supreme moments, merely the perplexed transmitters of +life?--not life itself? Her thoughts did not gain this clarity, though +she divined the secret. And yet she loved him--loved him with a +fierceness that frightened her, with a tenderness that unnerved her.... + +At the Hampton station she took the trolley, alighting at the Common, +following the narrow path made by pedestrians in the heavy snow to +Fillmore Street. She climbed the dark stairs, opened the dining-room +door, and paused on the threshold. Hannah and Edward sat there under the +lamp, Hannah scanning through her spectacles the pages of a Sunday +newspaper. On perceiving Janet she dropped it hastily in her lap. + +"Well, I was concerned about you, in all this storm!" she exclaimed. +"Thank goodness you're home, anyway. You haven't seen Lise, have you?" + +"Lise?" Janet repeated. "Hasn't she been home?" + +"Your father and I have been alone all day long. Not that it is so +uncommon for Lise to be gone. I wish it wasn't! But you! When you +didn't come home for supper I was considerably worried." + +Janet sat down between her mother and father and began to draw off her +gloves. + +"I'm going to marry Mr. Ditmar," she announced. + +For a few moments the silence was broken only by the ticking of the old- +fashioned clock. + +"Mr. Ditmar!" said Hannah, at length. "You're going to marry Mr. +Ditmar!" + +Edward was still inarticulate. His face twitched, his eyes watered as he +stared at her. + +"Not right away," said Janet. + +"Well, I must say you take it rather cool," declared Hannah, almost +resentfully. "You come in and tell us you're going to marry Mr. Ditmar +just like you were talking about the weather." + +Hannah's eyes filled with tears. There had been indeed an unconscious +lack of consideration in Janet's abrupt announcement, which had fallen +like a spark on the dry tinder of Hannah's hope. The result was a +suffocating flame. Janet, whom love had quickened, had a swift +perception of this. She rose quickly and took Hannah in her arms and +kissed her. It was as though the relation between them were reversed, +and the daughter had now become the mother and the comforter. + +"I always knew something like this would happen!" said Edward. His words +incited Hannah to protest. + +"You didn't anything of the kind, Edward Bumpus," she exclaimed. + +"Just to think of Janet livin' in that big house up in Warren Street!" +he went on, unheeding, jubilant. "You'll drop in and see the old people +once in a while, Janet, you won't forget us?" + +"I wish you wouldn't talk like that, father," said Janet. + +"Well, he's a fine man, Claude Ditmar, I always said that. The way he +stops and talks to me when he passes the gate--" + +"That doesn't make him a good man," Hannah declared, and added: "If he +wasn't a good man, Janet wouldn't be marrying him." + +"I don't know whether he's good or not," said Janet. + +"That's so, too," observed Hannah, approvingly. "We can't any of us tell +till we've tried 'em, and then it's too late to change. I'd like to see +him, but I guess he wouldn't care to come down here to Fillmore Street." +The difference between Ditmar's social and economic standing and their +own suggested appalling complications to her mind. "I suppose I won't +get a sight of him till after you're married, and not much then." + +"There's plenty of time to think about that, mother," answered Janet. + +"I'd want to have everything decent and regular," Hannah insisted. "We +may be poor, but we come of good stock, as your father says." + +"It'll be all right--Mr. Ditmar will behave like a gentleman," Edward +assured her. + +"I thought I ought to tell you about it," Janet said, "but you mustn't +mention it, yet, not even to Lise. Lise will talk. Mr. Ditmar's very +busy now,--he hasn't made any plans." + +"I wish Lise could get married!" exclaimed Hannah, irrelevantly. "She's +been acting so queer lately, she's not been herself at all." + +"Now there you go, borrowing trouble, mother," Edward exclaimed. He +could not take his eyes from Janet, but continued to regard her with +benevolence. "Lise'll get married some day. I don't suppose we can +expect another Mr. Ditmar...." + +"Well," said Hannah, presently, "there's no use sitting up all night." +She rose and kissed Janet again. "I just can't believe it," she +declared, "but I guess it's so if you say it is." + +"Of course it's so," said Edward. + +"I so want you should be happy, Janet," said Hannah.... + +Was it so? Her mother and father, the dwarfed and ugly surroundings of +Fillmore Street made it seem incredible once more. And--what would they +say if they knew what had happened to her this day? When she had reached +her room, Janet began to wonder why she had told her parents. Had it not +been in order to relieve their anxiety--especially her mother's--on the +score of her recent absences from home? Yes, that was it, and because +the news would make them happy. And then the mere assertion to them that +she was to marry Ditmar helped to make it more real to herself. But, now +that reality was fading again, she was unable to bring it within the +scope of her imagination, her mind refused to hold one remembered +circumstance long enough to coordinate it with another: she realized that +she was tired--too tired to think any more. But despite her exhaustion +there remained within her, possessing her, as it were overshadowing her, +unrelated to future or past, the presence of the man who had awakened her +to an intensity of life hitherto unconceived. When her head touched the +pillow she fell asleep.... + +When the bells and the undulating scream of the siren awoke her, she lay +awhile groping in the darkness. Where was she? Who was she? The +discovery of the fact that the nail of the middle finger on her right +hand was broken, gave her a clew. She had broken that nail in reaching +out to save something--a vase of roses--that was it!--a vase of roses on +a table with a white cloth. Ditmar had tipped it over. The sudden +flaring up of this trivial incident served to re-establish her identity, +to light a fuse along which her mind began to run like fire, illuminating +redly all the events of the day before. It was sweet to lie thus, to +possess, as her very own, these precious, passionate memories of life +lived at last to fulness, to feel that she had irrevocably given herself +and taken--all. A longing to see Ditmar again invaded her: he would take +an early train, he would be at the office by nine. How could she wait +until then? + +With a movement that had become habitual, subconscious, she reached out +her hand to arouse her sister. The coldness of the sheets on the right +side of the bed sent a shiver through her--a shiver of fear. + +"Lise!" she called. But there was no answer from the darkness. And +Janet, trembling, her heart beating wildly, sprang from the bed, searched +for the matches, and lit the gas. There was no sign of Lise; her +clothes, which she had the habit of flinging across the chairs, were +nowhere to be seen. Janet's eyes fell on the bureau, marked the absence +of several knick-knacks, including a comb and brush, and with a sudden +sickness of apprehension she darted to the wardrobe and flung open the +doors. In the bottom were a few odd garments, above was the hat with the +purple feather, now shabby and discarded, on the hooks a skirt and jacket +Lise wore to work at the Bagatelle in bad weather. That was all.... +Janet sank down in the rocking-chair, her hands clasped together, +overwhelmed by the sudden apprehension of the tragedy that had lurked, +all unsuspected, in the darkness: a tragedy, not of Lise alone, but in +which she herself was somehow involved. Just why this was so, she could +not for the moment declare. The room was cold, she was clad only in a +nightdress, but surges of heat ran through her body. What should she do? +She must think. But thought was impossible. She got up and closed the +window and began to dress with feverish rapidity, pausing now and again +to stand motionless. In one such moment there entered her mind an +incident that oddly had made little impression at the time of its +occurrence because she, Janet, had been blinded by the prospect of her +own happiness--that happiness which, a few minutes ago, had seemed so +real and vital a thing! And it was the memory of this incident that +suddenly threw a glaring, evil light on all of Lise's conduct during the +past months--her accidental dropping of the vanity case and the gold +coin! Now she knew'for a certainty what had happened to her sister. + +Having dressed herself, she entered the kitchen, which was warm, filled +with the smell of frying meat. Streaks of grease smoke floated +fantastically beneath the low ceiling, and Hannah, with the fryingpan in +one hand and a fork in the other, was bending over the stove. Wisps of +her scant, whitening hair escaped from the ridiculous, tightly drawn knot +at the back of her head; in the light of the flickering gas-jet she +looked so old and worn that a sudden pity smote Janet and made her dumb-- +pity for her mother, pity for herself, pity for Lise; pity that lent a +staggering insight into life itself. Hannah had once been young, +desirable, perhaps, swayed by those forces which had swayed her. Janet +wondered why she had never guessed this before, and why she had guessed +it now. But it was Hannah who, looking up and catching sight of Janet's +face, was quick to divine the presage in it and gave voice to the +foreboding that had weighed on her for many weeks. + +"Where's Lise?" + +And Janet could not answer. She shook her head. Hannah dropped the +fork, the handle of the frying pan and crossed the room swiftly, seizing +Janet by the shoulders. + +"Is she gone? I knew it, I felt it all along. I thought she'd done +something she was afraid to tell about--I tried to ask her, but I +couldn't--I couldn't! And now she's gone. Oh, my God, I'll never +forgive myself!" + +The unaccustomed sight of her mother's grief was terrible. For an +instant only she clung to Janet, then becoming mute, she sat down in the +kitchen chair and stared with dry, unseeing eyes at the wall. Her face +twitched. Janet could not bear to look at it, to see the torture in her +mother's eyes. She, Janet, seemed suddenly to have grown old herself, to +have lived through ages of misery and tragedy.... She was aware of a +pungent odour, went to the stove, picked up the fork, and turned the +steak. Now and then she glanced at Hannah. Grief seemed to have frozen +her. Then, from the dining-room she heard footsteps, and Edward stood in +the doorway. + +"Well, what's the matter with breakfast?" he asked. From where he stood +he could not see Hannah's face, but gradually his eyes were drawn to her +figure. His intuition was not quick, and some moments passed before the +rigidity of the pose impressed itself upon him. + +"Is mother sick?" he asked falteringly. + +Janet went to him. But it was Hannah who spoke. + +"Lise has gone," she said. + +"Lise--gone," Edward repeated. "Gone where?" + +"She's run away--she's disgraced us," Hannah replied, in a monotonous, +dulled voice. + +Edward did not seem to understand, and presently Janet felt impelled to +break the silence. + +"She didn't come home last night, father." + +"Didn't come home? Mebbe she spent the night with a friend," he said. + +It seemed incredible, at such a moment, that he could still be hopeful. + +"No, she's gone, I tell you, she's lost, we'll never lay eyes on her +again. My God, I never thought she'd come to this, but I might have +guessed it. Lise! Lise! To think it's my Lise!" + +Hannah's voice echoed pitifully through the silence of the flat. So +appealing, so heartbroken was the cry one might have thought that Lise, +wherever she was, would have heard it. Edward was dazed by the shock, +his lower lip quivered and fell. He walked over to Hannah's chair and +put his hand on her shoulder. + +"There, there, mother," he pleaded. "If she's gone, we'll find her, +we'll bring her back to you." + +Hannah shook her head. She pushed back her chair abruptly and going over +to the stove took the fork from Janet's hand and put the steak on the +dish. + +"Go in there and set down, Edward," she said. "I guess we've got to have +breakfast just the same, whether she's gone or not." + +It was terrible to see Hannah, with that look on her face, going about +her tasks automatically. And Edward, too, seemed suddenly to have become +aged and broken; his trust in the world, so amazingly preserved through +many vicissitudes, shattered at last. He spilled his coffee when he +tried to drink, and presently he got up and wandered about the room, +searching for his overcoat. It was Janet who found it and helped him on +with it. He tried to say something, but failing, departed heavily for +the mill. Janet began to remove the dishes from the table. + +"You've got to eat something, too, before you go to work," said Hannah. + +"I've had all I want," Janet replied. + +Hannah followed her into the kitchen. The scarcely touched food was laid +aside, the coffee-pot emptied, Hannah put the cups in the basin in the +sink and let the water run. She turned to Janet and seized her hands +convulsively. + +"Let me do this, mother," said Janet. She knew her mother was thinking +of the newly-found joy that Lise's disgrace had marred, but she released +her hands, gently, and took the mop from the nail on which it hung. + +"You sit down, mother," she said. + +Hannah would not. They finished the dishes together in silence while the +light of the new day stole in through the windows. Janet went into her +room, set it in order, made up the bed, put on her coat and hat and +rubbers. Then she returned to Hannah, who seized her. + +"It ain't going to spoil your happiness?" + +But Janet could not answer. She kissed her mother, and went out, down +the stairs into the street. The day was sharp and cold and bracing, and +out of an azure sky the sun shone with dazzling brightness on the snow, +which the west wind was whirling into little eddies of white smoke, +leaving on the drifts delicate scalloped designs like those printed by +waves on the sands of the sea. They seemed to Janet that morning +hatefully beautiful. In front of his tin shop, whistling cheerfully and +labouring energetically with a shovel to clean his sidewalk, was Johnny +Tiernan, the tip of his pointed nose made very red by the wind. + +"Good morning, Miss Bumpus," he said. "Now, if you'd only waited awhile, +I'd have had it as clean as a parlour. It's fine weather for coal +bills." + +She halted. + +"Can I see you a moment, Mr. Tiernan?" + +Johnny looked at her. + +"Why sure," he said. Leaning his shovel against the wall, he gallantly +opened the door that she might pass in before him and then led the way to +the back of the shop where the stove was glowing hospitably. He placed a +chair for her. "Now what can I be doing to serve you?" he asked. + +"It's about my sister," said Janet. + +"Miss Lise?" + +"I thought you might know what man she's been going with lately," said +Janet. + +Mr. Tiernan had often wondered how much Janet knew about her sister. In +spite of a momentary embarrassment most unusual in him, the courage of +her question made a strong appeal, and his quick sympathies suspected the +tragedy behind her apparent calmness. He met her magnificently. + +"Why," he said, "I have seen Miss Lise with a fellow named Duval--Howard +Duval--when he's been in town. He travels for a Boston shoe house, +Humphrey and Gillmount." + +"I'm afraid Lise has gone away with him," said Janet. "I thought you +might be able to find out something about him, and--whether any one had +seen them. She left home yesterday morning." + +For an instant Mr. Tiernan stood silent before her, his legs apart, his +fingers running through his bristly hair. + +"Well, ye did right to come straight to me, Miss Janet. It's me that can +find out, if anybody can, and it's glad I am to help you. Just you stay +here--make yourself at home while I run down and see some of the boys. +I'll not be long--and don't be afraid I'll let on about it." + +He seized his overcoat and departed. Presently the sun, glinting on the +sheets of tin, started Janet's glance straying around the shop, noting +its disorderly details, the heaped-up stovepipes, the littered work-bench +with the shears lying across the vise. Once she thought of Ditmar +arriving at the office and wondering what had happened to her.... The +sound of a bell made her jump. Mr. Tiernan had returned. + +"She's gone with him," said Janet, not as a question, but as one stating +a fact. + +Mr. Tiernan nodded. + +"They took the nine-thirty-six for Boston yesterday morning. Eddy +Colahan was at the depot." + +Janet rose. "Thank you," she said simply. + +"What are you going to do?" he asked. + +"I'm going to Boston," she answered. "I'm going to find out where she +is." + +"Then it's me that's going with you," he announced. + +"Oh no, Mr. Tiernan!" she protested. "I couldn't let you do that." + +"And why not?" he demanded. "I've got a little business there myself. +I'm proud to go with you. It's your sister you want, isn't it?" + +"Yes." + +"Well, what would you be doing by yourself--a young lady? How will you +find your sister?" + +"Do you think you can find her?" + +"Sure I can find her," he proclaimed, confidently. He had evidently made +up his mind that casual treatment was what the affair demanded. "Haven't +I good friends in Boston?" By friendship he swayed his world: nor was he +completely unknown--though he did not say so--to certain influential +members of his race of the Boston police department. Pulling out a large +nickel watch and observing that they had just time to catch the train, he +locked up his shop, and they set out together for the station. Mr. +Tiernan led the way, for the path was narrow. The dry snow squeaked +under his feet. + +After escorting her to a seat on the train, he tactfully retired to the +smoking car, not to rejoin her until they were on the trestle spanning +the Charles River by the North Station. All the way to Boston she had +sat gazing out of the window at the blinding whiteness of the fields, +incapable of rousing herself to the necessity of thought, to a degree of +feeling commensurate with the situation. She did not know what she would +say to Lise if she should find her; and in spite of Mr. Tiernan's +expressed confidence, the chances of success seemed remote. When the +train began to thread the crowded suburbs, the city, spreading out over +its hills, instead of thrilling her, as yesterday, with a sense of +dignity and power, of opportunity and emancipation, seemed a labyrinth +with many warrens where vice and crime and sorrow could hide. In front +of the station the traffic was already crushing the snow into filth. +They passed the spot where, the night before, the carriage had stopped, +where Ditmar had bidden her good-bye. Something stirred within her, +became a shooting pain.... She asked Mr. Tiernan what he intended to do. + +"I'm going right after the man, if he's here in the city," he told her. +And they boarded a street car, which almost immediately shot into the +darkness of the subway. Emerging at Scollay Square, and walking a few +blocks, they came to a window where guns, revolvers, and fishing tackle +were displayed, and on which was painted the name, "Timothy Mulally." +Mr. Tiernan entered. + +"Is Tim in?" he inquired of one of the clerks, who nodded his head +towards the rear of the store, where a middle-aged, grey-haired Irishman +was seated at a desk under a drop light. + +"Is it you, Johnny?" he exclaimed, looking up. + +"It's meself," said Mr. Tiernan. "And this is Miss Bumpus, a young lady +friend of mine from Hampton." + +Mr. Mulally rose and bowed. + +"How do ye do, ma'am," he said. + +"I've got a little business to do for her," Mr. Tiernan continued. "I +thought you might offer her a chair and let her stay here, quiet, while I +was gone." + +"With pleasure, ma'am," Mr. Mulally replied, pulling forward a chair with +alacrity. "Just sit there comfortable--no one will disturb ye." + +When, in the course of half an hour, Mr. Tiernan returned, there was a +grim yet triumphant look in his little blue eyes, but it was not until +Janet had thanked Mr. Mulally for his hospitality and they had reached +the sidewalk that he announced the result of his quest. + +"Well, I caught him. It's lucky we came when we did--he was just going +out on the road again, up to Maine. I know where Miss Lise is." + +"He told you!" exclaimed Janet. + +"He told me indeed, but it wasn't any joy to him. He was all for +bluffing at first. It's easy to scare the likes of him. He was as white +as his collar before I was done with him. He knows who I am, all right +he's heard of me in Hampton," Mr. Tiernan added, with a pardonable touch +of pride. + +"What did you say?" inquired Janet, curiously. + +"Say?" repeated Mr. Tiernan. "It's not much I had to say, Miss Janet. I +was all ready to go to Mr. Gillmount, his boss. I'm guessing he won't +take much pleasure on this trip." + +She asked for no more details. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +Once more Janet and Mr. Tiernan descended into the subway, taking a car +going to the south and west, which finally came out of the tunnel into a +broad avenue lined with shabby shops, hotels and saloons, and long rows +of boarding--and rooming-houses. They alighted at a certain corner, +walked a little way along a street unkempt and dreary, Mr. Tiernan +scrutinizing the numbers until he paused in front of a house with a +basement kitchen and snow-covered, sandstone steps. Climbing these, he +pulled the bell, and they stood waiting in the twilight of a half-closed +vestibule until presently shuffling steps were heard within; the door was +cautiously opened, not more than a foot, but enough to reveal a woman in +a loose wrapper, with an untidy mass of bleached hair and a puffy face +like a fungus grown in darkness. + +"I want to see Miss Lise Bumpus," Mr. Tiernan demanded. + +"You've got the wrong place. There ain't no one of that name here," said +the woman. + +"There ain't! All right," he insisted aggressively, pushing open the +door in spite of her. "If you don't let this young lady see her quick, +there's trouble coming to you." + +"Who are you?" asked the woman, impudently, yet showing signs of fear. + +"Never mind who I am," Mr. Tiernan declared. "I know all about you, and +I know all about Duval. If you don't want any trouble you won't make +any, and you'll take this young lady to her sister. I'll wait here for +you, Miss Janet," he added. + +"I don't know nothing about her--she rented my room that's all I know," +the woman replied sullenly. "If you mean that couple that came here +yesterday--" + +She turned and led the way upstairs, mounting slowly, and Janet followed, +nauseated and almost overcome by the foul odours of dead cigarette smoke +which, mingling with the smell of cooking cabbage rising from below, +seemed the very essence and reek of hitherto unimagined evil. A terror +seized her such as she had never known before, an almost overwhelming +impulse to turn and regain the air and sunlight of the day. In the dark +hallway of the second story the woman knocked at the door of a front +room. + +"She's in there, unless she's gone out." And indeed a voice was heard +petulantly demanding what was wanted--Lise's voice! Janet hesitated, her +hand on the knob, her body fallen against the panels. Then, as she +pushed open the door, the smell of cigarette smoke grew stronger, and she +found herself in a large bedroom, the details of which were instantly +photographed on her mind--the dingy claret-red walls, the crayon over the +mantel of a buxom lady in a decollete costume of the '90's, the outspread +fan concealing the fireplace, the soiled lace curtains. The bed was +unmade, and on the table beside two empty beer bottles and glasses and +the remains of a box of candy--suggestive of a Sunday purchase at a drug +store--she recognized Lise's vanity case. The effect of all this, +integrated at a glance, was a paralyzing horror. Janet could not speak. +She remained gazing at Lise, who paid no attention to her entrance, but +stood with her back turned before an old-fashioned bureau with a marble +top and raised sides. She was dressed, and engaged in adjusting her hat. +It was not until Janet pronounced her name that she turned swiftly. + +"You!" she exclaimed. "What the--what brought you here?" + +"Oh, Lise!" Janet repeated. + +"How did you get here?" Lise demanded, coming toward her. "Who told you +where I was? What business have you got sleuthing 'round after me like +this?" + +For a moment Janet was speechless once more, astounded that Lise could +preserve her effrontery in such an atmosphere, could be insensible to the +evils lurking in this house--evils so real to Janet that she seemed +actually to feel them brushing against her. + +"Lise, come away from here," she pleaded, "come home with me!" + +"Home!" said Lise, defiantly, and laughed. "What do you take me for? +Why would I be going home when I've been trying to break away for two +years? I ain't so dippy as that--not me! Go home like a good little +girl and march back to the Bagatelle and ask 'em to give me another show +standing behind a counter all day. Nix! No home sweet home for me! I'm +all for easy street when it comes to a home like that." + +Heartless, terrific as the repudiation was, it struck a self-convicting, +almost sympathetic note in Janet. She herself had revolted against the +monotony and sordidness of that existence She herself! She dared not +complete the thought, now. + +"But this!" she exclaimed. + +"What's the matter with it?" Lise demanded. "It ain't Commonwealth +Avenue, but it's got Fillmore Street beat a mile. There ain't no +whistles hereto get you out of bed at six a.m., for one thing. There +ain't no geezers, like Walters, to nag you 'round all day long. What's +the matter with it?" + +Something in Lise's voice roused Janet's spirit to battle. + +"What's the matter with it?" she cried. "It's hell--that's the matter +with it. Can't you see it? Can't you feel it? You don't know what it +means, or you'd come home with me." + +"I guess I know what it means as well as you do," said Lise, sullenly. +"We've all got to croak sometime, and I'd rather croak this way than be +smothered up in Hampton. I'll get a run for my money, anyway." + +"No, you don't know what it means," Janet repeated, "or you wouldn't talk +like that. Do you think this man will support you, stick to you? He +won't, he'll desert you, and you'll have to go on the streets." + +A dangerous light grew in Lise's eyes. + +"He's as good as any other man, he's as good as Ditmar," she said. +"They're all the same, to girls like us." + +Janet's heart caught, it seemed to stop beating. Was this a hazard on +Lise's part, or did she speak from knowledge? And yet what did it matter +whether Lise knew or only suspected, if her words were true, if men were +all alike? Had she been a dupe as well as Lise? and was the only +difference between them now the fact that Lise was able, without +illusion, to see things as they were, to accept the consequences, while +she, Janet, had beheld visions and dreamed dreams? was there any real +choice between the luxurious hotel to which Ditmar had taken her and this +detestable house? Suddenly, seemingly by chance, her eyes fell on the +box of drug-store candy from which the cheap red ribbon had been torn, +and by some odd association of ideas it suggested and epitomized Lise's +Sunday excursion with a mama hideous travesty on the journey of wonders +she herself had taken. Had that been heaven, and this of Lise's, +hell?... And was. Lise's ambition to be supported in idleness and +luxury to be condemned because she had believed her own to be higher? +Did not both lead to destruction? The weight that had lain on her breast +since the siren had awakened her that morning and she had reached out and +touched the chilled, empty sheets now grew almost unsupportable. + +"It's true," said Janet, "all men are the same." + +Lise was staring at her. + +"My God!" she exclaimed. "You?" + +"Yes-me," cried Janet.--"And what are you going to do about it? Stay +here with him in this filthy place until he gets tired of you and throws +you out on the street? Before I'd let any man do that to me I'd kill +him." + +Lise began to whimper, and suddenly buried her face in the pillow. But a +new emotion had begun to take possession of Janet--an emotion so strong +as to give her an unlookedfor sense of detachment. And the words Lise +had spoken between her sobs at first conveyed no meaning. + +"I'm going to have a baby...." + +Lise was going to have a child! Why hadn't she guessed it? A child! +Perhaps she, Janet, would have a child! This enlightenment as to Lise's +condition and the possibility it suggested in regard to herself brought +with it an overwhelming sympathy which at first she fiercely resented +then yielded to. The bond between them, instead of snapping, had +inexplicably strengthened. And Lise, despite her degradation, was more +than ever her sister! Forgetting her repugnance to the bed, Janet sat +down beside Lise and put an arm around her. + +"He said he'd marry me, he swore he was rich--and he was a spender all +right. And then some guy came up to me one night at Gruber's and told me +he was married already." + +"What?" Janet exclaimed. + +"Sure! He's got a wife and two kids here in Boston. That was a twenty- +one round knockout! Maybe I didn't have something to tell him when he +blew into Hampton last Friday! But he said he couldn't help it--he loved +me." Lise sat up, seemingly finding relief in the relation of her +wrongs, dabbing her eyes with a cheap lace handkerchief. "Well, while +he'd been away--this thing came. I didn't know what was the matter at +first, and when I found out I was scared to death, I was ready to kill +myself. When I told him he was scared too, and then he said he'd fix it. +Say, I was a goat to think he'd marry me!" Lise laughed hysterically. + +"And then--" Janet spoke with difficulty, "and then you came down here?" + +"I told him he'd have to see me through, I'd start something if he +didn't. Say, he almost got down on his knees, right there in Gruber's! +But he came back inside of ten seconds--he's a jollier, for sure, he was +right there with the goods, it was because he loved me, he couldn't help +himself, I was his cutie, and all that kind of baby talk." + +Lise's objective manner of speaking about her seducer amazed Janet. + +"Do you love him?" she asked. + +"Say, what is love?" Lise demanded. "Do you ever run into it outside of +the movies? Do I love him? Well, he's a good looker and a fancy +dresser, he ain't a tight wad, and he can start a laugh every minute. If +he hadn't put it over on me I wouldn't have been so sore. I don't know +he ain't so bad. He's weak, that's the trouble with him." + +This was the climax! Lise's mental processes, her tendency to pass from +wild despair to impersonal comment, her inability, her courtesan's +temperament that prevented her from realizing tragedy for more than a +moment at a time--even though the tragedy were her own--were +incomprehensible to Janet. + +"Get on to this," Lise adjured her. "When I first was acquainted with +him he handed me a fairy tale that he was taking five thousand a year +from Humphrey and Gillmount, he was going into the firm. He had me +razzle-dazzled. He's some hypnotizes as a salesman, too, they say. +Nothing was too good for me; I saw myself with a house on the avenue +shopping in a limousine. Well, he blew up, but I can't help liking him." + +"Liking him!" cried Janet passionately. "I'd kill him that's what I'd +do." + +Lise regarded her with unwilling admiration. + +"That's where you and me is different," she declared. "I wish I was like +that, but I ain't. And where would I come in? Now you're wise why I +can't go back to Hampton. Even if I was stuck on the burg and cryin' my +eyes out for the Bagatelle I couldn't go back." + +"What are you going to do?" Janet demanded. + +"Well," said Lise, "he's come across--I'll say that for him. Maybe it's +because he's scared, but he's stuck on me, too. When you dropped in I +was just going down town to get a pair of patent leathers, these are all +wore out," she explained, twisting her foot, "they ain't fit for Boston. +And I thought of lookin' at blouses--there's a sale on I was reading +about in the paper. Say, it's great to be on easy street, to be able to +stay in bed until you're good and ready to get up and go shopping, to +gaze at the girls behind the counter and ask the price of things. I'm +going to Walling's and give the salesladies the ha-ha--that's what I'm +going to do." + +"But--?" Janet found words inadequate. + +Lise understood her. + +"Oh, I'm due at the doctor's this afternoon." + +"Where?" + +"The doctor's. Don't you get me?--it's a private hospital." Lise gave a +slight shudder at the word, but instantly recovered her sang-froid. +"Howard fixed it up yesterday--and they say it ain't very bad if you take +it early." + +For a space Janet was too profoundly shocked to reply. + +"Lise! That's a crime!" she cried. + +"Crime, nothing!" retorted Lise, and immediately became indignant. +"Say, I sometimes wonder how you could have lived all these years without +catching on to a few things! What do you take me for! What'd I do with +a baby?" + +What indeed! The thought came like an avalanche, stripping away the +veneer of beauty from the face of the world, revealing the scarred rock +and crushed soil beneath. This was reality! What right had society to +compel a child to be born to degradation and prostitution? to beget, +perhaps, other children of suffering? Were not she and Lise of the +exploited, of those duped and tempted by the fair things the more +fortunate enjoyed unscathed? And now, for their natural cravings, their +family must be disgraced, they must pay the penalty of outcasts! Neither +Lise nor she had had a chance. She saw that, now. The scorching +revelation of life's injustice lighted within her the fires of anarchy +and revenge. Lise, other women might submit tamely to be crushed, might +be lulled and drugged by bribes: she would not. A wild desire seized her +to get back to Hampton. + +"Give me the address of the hospital," she said. + +"Come off!" cried Lise, in angry bravado. "Do you think I'm going to let +you butt into this? I guess you've got enough to do to look out for your +own business." + +Janet produced a pencil from her bag, and going to the table tore off a +piece of the paper in which had been wrapped the candy box. + +"Give me the address," she insisted. + +"Say, what are you going to do?" + +"I want to know where you are, in case anything happens to you." + +"Anything happens! What do you mean?" Janet's words had frightened +Lise, the withdrawal of Janet's opposition bewildered her. But above +all, she was cowed by the sudden change in Janet herself, by the attitude +of steely determination eloquent of an animus persons of Lise's type are +incapable of feeling, and which to them is therefore incomprehensible. +"Nothing's going to happen to me," she whined. "The place is all right-- +he'd be scared to send me there if it wasn't. It costs something, too. +Say, you ain't going to tell 'em at home?" she cried with a fresh access +of alarm. + +"If you do as I say, I won't tell anybody," Janet replied, in that odd, +impersonal tone her voice had acquired. "You must write me as soon--as +soon as it is over. Do you understand?" + +"Honest to God I will," Lise assured her. + +"And you mustn't come back to a house like this." + +"Where'll I go?" Lise asked. + +"I don't know. We'll find out when the time comes," said Janet, +significantly. + +"You've seen him!" Lise exclaimed. + +"No," said Janet, "and I don't want to see him unless I have to. Mr. +Tiernan has seen him. Mr. Tiernan is downstairs now, waiting for me." + +"Johnny Tiernan! Is Johnny Tiernan downstairs?" + +Janet wrote the address, and thrust the slip of paper in her bag. + +"Good-bye, Lise," she said. "I'll come down again I'll come down +whenever you want me." Lise suddenly seized her and clung to her, +sobbing. For a while Janet submitted, and then, kissing her, gently +detached herself. She felt, indeed, pity for Lise, but something within +her seemed to have hardened--something that pity could not melt, +possessing her and thrusting heron to action. She knew not what action. +So strong was this thing that it overcame and drove off the evil spirits +of that darkened house as she descended the stairs to join Mr. Tiernan, +who opened the door for her to pass out. Once in the street, she +breathed deeply of the sunlit air. Nor did she observe Mr. Tiernan's +glance of comprehension.... When they arrived at the North Station he +said:-- + +"You'll be wanting a bite of dinner, Miss Janet," and as she shook her +head he did not press her to eat. He told her that a train for Hampton +left in ten minutes. "I think I'll stay in Boston the rest of the day, +as long as I'm here," he added. + +She remembered that she had not thanked him, she took his hand, but he +cut her short. + +"It's glad I was to help you," he assured her. "And if there's anything +more I can do, Miss Janet, you'll be letting me know--you'll call on +Johnny Tiernan, won't you?" + +He left her at the gate. He had intruded with no advice, he had offered +no comment that she had come downstairs alone, without Lise. His +confidence in her seemed never to have wavered. He had respected, +perhaps partly imagined her feelings, and in spite of these now a sense +of gratitude to him stole over her, mitigating the intensity of their +bitterness. Mr. Tiernan alone seemed stable in a chaotic world. He was +a man. + +No sooner was she in the train, however, than she forgot Mr. Tiernan +utterly. Up to the present the mental process of dwelling upon her own +experience of the last three months had been unbearable, but now she was +able to take a fearful satisfaction in the evolving of parallels between +her case and Lise's. Despite the fact that the memories she had +cherished were now become hideous things, she sought to drag them forth +and compare them, ruthlessly, with what must have been the treasures of +Lise. Were her own any less tawdry? Only she, Janet, had been the +greater fool of the two, the greater dupe because she had allowed herself +to dream, to believe that what she had done had been for love, for light! +because she had not listened to the warning voice within her! It had +always been on the little, unpremeditated acts of Ditmar that she had +loved to linger, and now, in the light of Lise's testimony, of Lise's +experience, she saw them all as false. It seemed incredible, now, that +she had ever deceived herself into thinking that Ditmar meant to marry +her, that he loved her enough to make her his wife. Nor was it necessary +to summon and marshal incidents to support this view, they came of +themselves, crowding one another, a cumulative and appalling array of +evidence, before which she stood bitterly amazed at her former stupidity. +And in the events of yesterday, which she pitilessly reviewed, she beheld +a deliberate and prearranged plan for her betrayal. Had he not +telephoned to Boston for the rooms, rehearsed in his own mind every +detail of what had subsequently happened? Was there any essential +difference between the methods of Ditmar and Duval? Both were skilled in +the same art, and Ditmar was the cleverer of the two. It had only needed +her meeting with Lise, in that house, to reveal how he had betrayed her +faith and her love, sullied and besmirched them. And then came the odd +reflection,--how strange that that same Sunday had been so fateful for +herself and Lise! + +The agony of these thoughts was mitigated by the scorehing hatred that +had replaced her love, the desire for retaliation, revenge. +Occasionally, however, that stream of consciousness was broken by the +recollection of what she had permitted and even advised her sister to do; +and though the idea of the place to which Lise was going sickened her, +though she achieved a certain objective amazement at the transformation +in herself enabling her to endorse such a course, she was glad of having +endorsed it, she rejoiced that Lise's child would not be born into a +world that had seemed--so falsely--fair and sweet, and in reality was +black and detestable. Her acceptance of the act--for Lise--was a +function of the hatred consuming her, a hatred which, growing in bigness, +had made Ditmar merely the personification of that world. From time to +time her hands clenched, her brow furrowed, powerful waves of heat ran +through her, the craving for action became so intense she could scarcely +refrain from rising in her seat. + +By some odd whim of the weather the wind had backed around into the east, +gathering the clouds once more. The brilliancy of the morning had given +place to greyness, the high slits of windows seemed dirtier than ever as +the train pulled into the station at Hampton, shrouded in Gothic gloom. +As she left the car Janet was aware of the presence on the platform of an +unusual number of people; she wondered vaguely, as she pushed her way +through them, why they were there, what they were talking about? One +determination possessed her, to go to the Chippering Mill, to Ditmar. +Emerging from the street, she began to walk rapidly, the change from +inaction to exercise bringing a certain relief, starting the working of +her mind, arousing in her a realization of the necessity of being +prepared for the meeting. Therefore, instead of turning at Faber Street, +she crossed it. But at the corner of the Common she halted, her glance +drawn by a dark mass of people filling the end of Hawthorne Street, where +it was blocked by the brick-coloured facade of the Clarendon Mill. In +the middle distance men and boys were running to join this crowd. A +girl, evidently an Irish-American mill hand of the higher paid sort, +hurried toward her from the direction of the mill itself. Janet accosted +her. + +"It's the strike," she explained excitedly, evidently surprised at the +question. "The Polaks and the Dagoes and a lot of other foreigners quit +when they got their envelopes--stopped their looms and started through +the mill, and when they came into our room I left. I didn't want no +trouble with 'em. It's the fifty-four hour law--their pay's cut two +hours. You've heard about it, I guess." + +Janet nodded. + +"They had a big mass meeting last night in Maxwell Hall," the girl +continued, "the foreigners--not the skilled workers. And they voted to +strike. They tell me they're walking out over at the Patuxent, too." + +"And the Chippering?" asked Janet, eagerly. + +"I don't know--I guess it'll spread to all of 'em, the way these +foreigners are going on--they're crazy. But say," the girl added, "it +ain't right to cut our pay, either, is it? They never done it two years +ago when the law came down to fifty-six." + +Janet did not wait to reply. While listening to this explanation, +excitement had been growing in her again, and some fearful, overpowering +force of attraction emanating from that swarm in the distance drew her +until she yielded, fairly running past the rows of Italian tenements in +their strange setting of snow, not to pause until she reached the fruit +shop where she and Eda had eaten the olives. Now she was on the +outskirts of the crowd that packed itself against the gates of the +Clarendon. It spread over the width of East Street, growing larger every +minute, until presently she was hemmed in. Here and there hoarse shouts +of approval and cheers arose in response to invisible orators haranging +their audiences in weird, foreign tongues; tiny American flags were +waved; and suddenly, in one of those unforeseen and incomprehensible +movements to which mobs are subject, a trolley car standing at the end of +the Hawthorne Street track was surrounded, the desperate clanging of its +bell keeping pace with the beating of Janet's heart. A dark Sicilian, +holding aloft the green, red, and white flag of Italy, leaped on the rear +platform and began to speak, the Slav conductor regarding him stupidly, +pulling the bellcord the while. Three or four policemen fought their way +to the spot, striving to clear the tracks, bewildered and impotent in the +face of the alien horde momentarily growing more and more conscious of +power. + +Janet pushed her way deeper and deeper into the crowd. She wanted to +savour to the full its wrath and danger, to surrender herself to be +played upon by these sallow, stubbybearded exhorters, whose menacing +tones and passionate gestures made a grateful appeal, whose wild, musical +words, just because they were uncomprehended, aroused in her dim +suggestions of a race-experience not her own, but in which she was now +somehow summoned to share. That these were the intruders whom she, as a +native American, had once resented and despised did not occur to her. +The racial sense so strong in her was drowned in a sense of fellowship. +Their anger seemed to embody and express, as nothing else could have +done, the revolt that had been rising, rising within her soul; and the +babel to which she listened was not a confusion of tongues, but one voice +lifted up to proclaim the wrongs of all the duped, of all the exploited +and oppressed. She was fused with them, their cause was her cause, their +betrayers her betrayers. + +Suddenly was heard the cry for which she had been tensely but +unconsciously awaiting. Another cry like that had rung out in another +mob across the seas more than a century before. "Ala Bastille!" became +"To the Chippering!" Some man shouted it out in shrill English, hundreds +repeated it; the Sicilian leaped from the trolley car, and his path could +be followed by the agitated progress of the alien banner he bore. "To +the Chippering!" It rang in Janet's ears like a call to battle. Was she +shouting it, too? A galvanic thrill ran through the crowd, an impulse +that turned their faces and started their steps down East Street toward +the canal, and Janet was irresistibly carried along. Nay, it seemed as +if the force that second by second gained momentum was in her, that she +herself had released and was guiding it! Her feet were wet as she +ploughed through the trampled snow, but she gave no thought to that. The +odour of humanity was in her nostrils. On the left a gaunt Jew pressed +against her, on the right a solid Ruthenian woman, one hand clasping her +shawl, the other holding aloft a miniature emblem of New World liberty. +Her eyes were fixed on the grey skies, and from time to time her lips +were parted in some strange, ancestral chant that could be heard above +the shouting. All about Janet were dark, awakening faces.... + +It chanced that an American, a college graduate, stood gazing down from a +point of vantage upon this scene. He was ignorant of anthropology, +psychology, and the phenomena of environment; but bits of "knowledge"-- +which he embodied in a newspaper article composed that evening stuck wax- +like in his brain. Not thus, he deplored, was the Anglo-Saxon wont to +conduct his rebellions. These Czechs and Slavs, Hebrews and Latins and +Huns might have appropriately been clad in the skins worn by the hordes +of Attila. Had they not been drawn hither by the renown of the +Republic's wealth? And how essentially did they differ from those other +barbarians before whose bewildered, lustful gaze had risen the glittering +palaces on the hills of the Tiber? The spoils of Rome! The spoils of +America! They appeared to him ferocious, atavistic beasts as they broke +into the lumberyard beneath his window to tear the cord-wood from the +piles and rush out again, armed with billets.... + +Janet, in the main stream sweeping irresistibly down the middle of the +street, was carried beyond the lumberyard into the narrow roadway beside +the canal--presently to find herself packed in the congested mass in +front of the bridge that led to the gates of the Chippering Mill. Across +the water, above the angry hum of human voices could be heard the +whirring of the looms, rousing the mob to a higher pitch of fury. The +halt was for a moment only. The bridge rocked beneath the weight of +their charge, they battered at the great gates, they ran along the snow- +filled tracks by the wall of the mill. Some, in a frenzy of passion, +hurled their logs against the windows; others paused, seemingly to +measure the distance and force of the stroke, thus lending to their act a +more terrible and deliberate significance. A shout of triumph announced +that the gates, like a broken dam, had given way, and the torrent poured +in between the posts, flooding the yard, pressing up the towered +stairways and spreading through the compartments of the mill. More +ominous than the tumult seemed the comparative silence that followed this +absorption of the angry spirits of the mob. Little by little, as the +power was shut off, the antiphonal throbbing of the looms was stilled. +Pinioned against the parapet above the canal--almost on that very spot +where, the first evening, she had met Ditmar--Janet awaited her chance to +cross. Every crashing window, every resounding blow on the panels gave +her a fierce throb of joy. She had not expected the gates to yield--her +father must have insecurely fastened them. Gaining the farther side of +the canal, she perceived him flattened against the wall of the gatehouse +shaking his fist in the faces of the intruders, who rushed past him +unheeding. His look arrested her. His face was livid, his eyes were red +with anger, he stood transformed by a passion she had not believed him to +possess. She had indeed heard him give vent to a mitigated indignation +against foreigners in general, but now the old-school Americanism in +which he had been bred, the Americanism of individual rights, of respect +for the convention of property, had suddenly sprung into flame. He was +ready to fight for it, to die for it. The curses he hurled at these +people sounded blasphemous in Janet's ears. + +"Father!" she cried. "Father!" + +He looked at her uncomprehendingly, seemingly failing to recognize her. + +"What are you doing here?" he demanded, seizing her and attempting to +draw her to the wall beside him. But she resisted. There sprang from +her lips an unpremeditated question: "Where is Mr. Ditmar?" She was, +indeed, amazed at having spoken it. + +"I don't know," Edward replied distractedly. "We've been looking for him +everywhere. My God, to think that this should happen with me at the +gates!" he lamented. "Go home, Janet. You can't tell what'll happen, +what these fiends will do, you may get hurt. You've got no business +here." Catching sight of a belated and breathless policeman, he turned +from her in desperation. "Get 'em out! Far God's sake, can't you get +'em out before they ruin the machines?" + +But Janet waited no longer. Pushing her way frantically through the +people filling the yard she climbed the tower stairs and made her way +into one of the spinning rooms. The frames were stilled, the overseer +and second hands, thrust aside, looked on helplessly while the intruders +harangued, cajoled or threatened the operatives, some of whom were cowed +and already departing; others, sullen and resentful, remained standing in +the aisles; and still others seemed to have caught the contagion of the +strike. Suddenly, with reverberating strokes, the mill bells rang out, +the electric gongs chattered, the siren screeched, drowning the voices. +Janet did not pause, but hurried from room to room until, in passing +through an open doorway in the weaving department she ran into Mr. +Caldwell. He halted a moment, in surprise at finding her there, calling +her by name. She clung to his sleeve, and again she asked the question:-- + +"Where's Mr. Ditmar?" + +Caldwell shook his head. His answer was the same as Edward's. "I don't +know," he shouted excitedly above the noise. "We've got to get this mob +out before they do any damage." + +He tore himself away, she saw him expostulating with the overseer, and +then she went on. These tower stairs, she remembered, led to a yard +communicating by a little gate with the office entrance. The door of the +vestibule was closed, but the watchman, Simmons, recognizing her, +permitted her to enter. The offices were deserted, silent, for the bells +and the siren had ceased their clamour; the stenographers and clerks had +gone. The short day was drawing to a close, shadows were gathering in +the corners of Ditmar's room as she reached the threshold and gazed about +her at the objects there so poignantly familiar. She took off her coat. +His desk was littered with books and papers, and she started, +mechanically, to set it in order, replacing the schedule books on the +shelves, sorting out the letters and putting them in the basket. She +could not herself have told why she should take up again these trivial +tasks as though no cataclysmic events had intervened to divide forever +the world of yesterday from that of to-morrow. With a movement +suggestive of tenderness she was picking up Ditmar's pen to set it in the +glass rack when her ear caught the sound of voices, and she stood +transfixed, listening intently. There were footsteps in the corridor, +the voices came nearer; one, loud and angered, she detected above the +others. It was Ditmar's! Nothing had happened to him! Dropping the +pen, she went over to the window, staring out over the grey waters, +trembling so violently that she could scarcely stand. + +She did not look around when they entered the room Ditmar, Caldwell, +Orcutt, and evidently a few watchmen and overseers. Some one turned on +the electric switch, darkening the scene without. Ditmar continued to +speak in vehement tones of uncontrolled rage. + +"Why in hell weren't those gates bolted tight?" he demanded. "That's +what I want to know! There was plenty of time after they turned the +corner of East Street. You might have guessed what they would do. But +instead of that you let 'em into the mill to shut off the power and +intimidate our own people." He called the strikers an unprintable name, +and though Janet stood, with her back turned, directly before him, he +gave no sign of being aware of her presence. + +"It wasn't the gatekeeper's fault," she heard Orcutt reply in a tone +quivering with excitement and apprehension. "They really didn't give us +a chance--that's the truth. They were down Canal Street and over the +bridge before we knew it." + +"It's just as I've said a hundred times," Ditmar retorted. "I can't +afford to leave this mill a minute, I can't trust anybody--" and he +broke out in another tirade against the intruders. "By God, I'll fix 'em +for this--I'll crush 'em. And if any operatives try to walkout here I'll +see that they starve before they get back--after all I've done for 'em, +kept the mill going in slack times just to give 'em work. If they desert +me now, when I've got this Bradlaugh order on my hands--" Speech became +an inadequate expression of his feelings, and suddenly his eye fell on +Janet. She had turned, but her look made no impression on him. "Call up +the Chief of Police," he said. + +Automatically she obeyed, getting the connection and handing him the +receiver, standing by while he denounced the incompetence of the +department for permitting the mob to gather in East Street and demanded +deputies. The veins of his forehead were swollen as he cut short the +explanations of the official and asked for the City Hall. In making an +appointment with the Mayor he reflected on the management of the city +government. And when Janet by his command obtained the Boston office, he +gave the mill treasurer a heated account of the afternoon's occurrences, +explaining circumstantially how, in his absence at a conference in the +Patuxent Mill, the mob had gathered in East Street and attacked the +Chippering; and he urged the treasurer to waste no time in obtaining a +force of detectives, in securing in Boston and New York all the +operatives that could be hired, in order to break the impending strike. +Save for this untimely and unreasonable revolt he was bent on stamping +out, for Ditmar the world to-day was precisely the same world it had been +the day before. It seemed incredible to Janet that he could so regard +it, could still be blind to the fact that these workers whom he was +determined to starve and crush if they dared to upset his plans and +oppose his will were human beings with wills and passions and grievances +of their own. Until to-day her eyes had been sealed. In agony they had +been opened to the panorama of sorrow and suffering, of passion and evil; +and what she beheld now as life was a vast and terrible cruelty. She had +needed only this final proof to be convinced that in his eyes she also +was but one of those brought into the world to minister to his pleasure +and profit. He had taken from her, as his weed, the most precious thing +a woman has to give, and now that she was here again at his side, by some +impulse incomprehensible to herself--in spite of the wrong he had done +her!--had sought him out in danger, he had no thought of her, no word for +her, no use save a menial one: he cared nothing for any help she might be +able to give, he had no perception of the new light which had broken +within her soul.... The telephoning seemed interminable, yet she waited +with a strange patience while he talked with Mr. George Chippering and +two of the most influential directors. These conversations had covered +the space of an hour or more. And perhaps as a result of self- +suggestion, of his repeated assurances to Mr. Semple, to Mr. Chippering, +and the directors of his ability to control the situation, Ditmar's +habitual self-confidence was gradually restored. And when at last he +hung up the instrument and turned to her, though still furious against +the strikers, his voice betrayed the joy of battle, the assurance of +victory. + +"They can't bluff me, they'll have to guess again. It's that damned +Holster--he hasn't any guts--he'd give in to 'em right now if I'd let +him. It's the limit the way he turned the Clarendon over to them. I'll +show him how to put a crimp in 'em if they don't turn up here to-morrow +morning." + +He was so magnificently sure of her sympathy! She did, not reply, but +picked up her coat from the chair where she had laid it. + +"Where are you going?" he demanded. And she replied laconically, +"Home." + +"Wait a minute," he said, rising and taking a step toward her. + +"You have an appointment with the Mayor," she reminded him. + +"I know," he said, glancing at the clock over the door. "Where have you +been?--where were you this morning? I was worried about you, I--I was +afraid you might be sick." + +"Were you?" she said. "I'm all right. I had business in Boston." + +"Why didn't you telephone me? In Boston?" he repeated. + +She nodded. He started forward again, but she avoided him. + +"What's the matter?" he cried. "I've been worried about you all day-- +until this damned strike broke loose. I was afraid something had +happened." + +"You might have asked my father," she said. + +"For God's sake, tell me what's the matter!" + +His desire for her mounted as his conviction grew more acute that +something had happened to disturb a relationship which, he had +congratulated himself, after many vicissitudes and anxieties had at last +been established. He was conscious, however, of irritation because this +whimsical and unanticipated grievance of hers should have developed at +the moment when the caprice of his operatives threatened to interfere +with his cherished plans--for Ditmar measured the inconsistencies of +humanity by the yardstick of his desires. Her question as to why he had +not made inquiries of her father added a new element to his disquietude. +As he stood thus, worried, exasperated, and perplexed, the fact that +there was in her attitude something ominous, dangerous, was slow to dawn +on him. His faculties were wholly unprepared for the blow she struck +him. + +"I hate you!" she said. She did not raise her voice, but the deliberate, +concentrated conviction she put into the sentence gave it the dynamic +quality of a bullet. And save for the impact of it--before which he +physically recoiled--its import was momentarily without meaning. + +"What?" he exclaimed, stupidly. + +"I might have known you never meant to marry me," she went on. Her hands +were busy with the buttons of her coat. + +"All you want is to use me, to enjoy me and turn me out when you get +tired of me--the way you've done with other women. It's just the same +with these mill hands, they're not human beings to you, they're--they're +cattle. If they don't do as you like, you turn them out; you say they +can starve for all you care." + +"For God's sake, what do you mean?" he demanded. "What have I done to +you, Janet? I love you, I need you!" + +"Love me!" she repeated. "I know how men of your sort love--I've seen +it--I know. As long as I give you what you want and don't bother you, +you love me. And I know how these workers feel," she cried, with sudden, +passionate vehemence. "I never knew before, but I know now. I've been +with them, I marched up here with them from the Clarendon when they +battered in the gates and smashed your windows--and I wanted to smash +your windows, too, to blow up your mill." + +"What are you saying? You came here with the strikers? you were with +that mob?" asked Ditmar, astoundedly. + +"Yes, I was in that mob. I belong there, with them, I tell you--I don't +belong here, with you. But I was a fool even then, I was afraid they'd +hurt you, I came into the mill to find you, and you--and you you acted as +if you'd never seen me before. I was a fool, but I'm glad I came--I'm +glad I had a chance to tell you this." + +"My God--won't you trust me?" he begged, with a tremendous effort to +collect himself. "You trusted me yesterday. What's happened to change +you? Won't you tell me? It's nothing I've done--I swear. And what do +you mean when you say you were in that mob? I was almost crazy when I +came back and found they'd been here in this mill--can't you understand? +It wasn't that I didn't think of you. I'd been worrying about you all +day. Look at this thing sensibly. I love you, I can't get along without +you--I'll marry you. I said I would, I meant it I'll marry you just as +soon as I can clean up this mess of a strike. It won't take long." + +"Don't touch me!" she commanded, and he recoiled again. "I'll tell you +where I've been, if you want to know,--I've been to see my sister in--in +a house, in Boston. I guess you know what kind of a house I mean, you've +been in them, you've brought women to them,--just like the man that +brought her there. Would you marry me now--with my sister there? And am +I any different from her? You you've made me just like her." Her voice +had broken, now, into furious, uncontrolled weeping--to which she paid no +heed. + +Ditmar was stunned; he could only stare at her. + +"If I have a child," she said, "I'll--I'll kill you--I'll kill myself." + +And before he could reply--if indeed he had been able to reply--she had +left the office and was running down the stairs.... + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +What was happening to Hampton? Some hundreds of ignorant foreigners, +dissatisfied with the money in their pay envelopes, had marched out of +the Clarendon Mill and attacked the Chippering and behold, the revered +structure of American Government had quivered and tumbled down like a +pack of cards! Despite the feverish assurances in the Banner "extra" +that the disturbance was merely local and temporary, solid citizens +became panicky, vaguely apprehending the release of elemental forces +hitherto unrecognized and unknown. Who was to tell these solid, educated +business men that the crazy industrial Babel they had helped to rear, and +in which they unconsciously dwelt, was no longer the simple edifice they +thought it? that Authority, spelled with a capital, was a thing of the +past? that human instincts suppressed become explosives to displace the +strata of civilization and change the face of the world? that conventions +and institutions, laws and decrees crumble before the whirlwind of human +passions? that their city was not of special, but of universal +significance? And how were these, who still believed themselves to be +dwelling under the old dispensation, to comprehend that environments +change, and changing demand new and terrible Philosophies? When night +fell on that fateful Tuesday the voice of Syndicalism had been raised in +a temple dedicated to ordered, Anglo-Saxon liberty--the Hampton City +Hall. + +Only for a night and a day did the rebellion lack both a leader and a +philosophy. Meanwhile, in obedience to the unerring instinct for drama +peculiar to great metropolitan dailies, newspaper correspondents were +alighting from every train, interviewing officials and members of labour +unions and mill agents: interviewing Claude Ditmar, the strongest man in +Hampton that day. He at least knew what ought to be done, and even +before his siren broke the silence of the morning hours in vigorous and +emphatic terms he had informed the Mayor and Council of their obvious +duty. These strikers were helots, unorganized scum; the regular unions-- +by comparison respectable--held aloof from them. Here, in effect, was +his argument: a strong show of force was imperative; if the police and +deputies were inadequate, request the Governor to call out the local +militia; but above all, waste no time, arrest the ringleaders, the +plotters, break up all gatherings, keep the streets clear. He demanded +from the law protection of his property, protection for those whose right +to continue at work was inalienable. He was listened to with sympathy +and respect--but nothing was done! The world had turned upside down +indeed if the City Government of Hampton refused to take the advice of +the agent of the Chippering Mill! American institutions were a failure! +But such was the fact. Some unnamed fear, outweighing their dread of the +retributions of Capital, possessed these men, made them supine, derelict +in the face of their obvious duty. + +By the faint grey light of that bitter January morning Ditmar made his +way to the mill. In Faber Street dark figures flitted silently across +the ghostly whiteness of the snow, and gathered in groups on the corners; +seeking to avoid these, other figures hurried along the sidewalks close +to the buildings, to be halted, accosted, pleaded with--threatened, +perhaps. Picketing had already begun! The effect of this pantomime of +the eternal struggle for survivals which he at first beheld from a +distance, was to exaggerate appallingly the emptiness of the wide street, +to emphasize the absence of shoppers and vehicles; and a bluish darkness +lurked in the stores, whose plate glass windows were frosted in quaint +designs. Where were the police? It was not fear that Ditmar felt, he +was galvanized and dominated by anger, by an overwhelming desire for +action; physical combat would have brought him relief, and as he +quickened his steps he itched to seize with his own hands these +foreigners who had dared to interfere with his cherished plans, who had +had the audacity to challenge the principles of his government which +welcomed them to its shores. He would have liked to wring their necks. +His philosophy, too, was environmental. And beneath this wrath, +stimulating and energizing it the more, was the ache in his soul from the +loss for which he held these enemies responsible. Two days ago happiness +and achievement had both been within his grasp. The only woman--so now +it seemed--he had ever really wanted! What had become of her? What +obscure and passionate impulse had led her suddenly to defy and desert +him, to cast in her lot with these insensate aliens? A hundred times +during the restless, inactive hours of a sleepless night this question +had intruded itself in the midst of his scheming to break the strike, as +he reviewed, word by word, act by act, that almost incomprehensible +revolt of hers which had followed so swiftly--a final, vindictive blow of +fate--on that other revolt of the workers. At moments he became +confused, unable to separate the two. He saw her fire in that other.... +Her sister, she had said, had been disgraced; she had defied him to marry +her in the face of that degradation--and this suddenly had sickened him. +He had let her go. What a fool he had been to let her go! Had she +herself been--! He did not finish this thought. Throughout the long +night he had known, for a certainty, that this woman was a vital part of +him, flame of his flame. Had he never seen her he would have fought +these strikers to their knees, but now the force of this incentive was +doubled. He would never yield until he had crushed them, until he had +reconquered her. + +He was approaching one of the groups of strikers, and unconsciously he +slowed his steps. The whites of his eyes reddened. The great coat of +golden fur he wore gave to his aspect an added quality of formidableness. +There were some who scattered as he drew near, and of the less timorous +spirits that remained only a few raised dark, sullen glances to encounter +his, which was unflinching, passionately contemptuous. Throughout the +countless generations that lay behind them the instinct of submission had +played its dominant, phylogenetic role. He was the Master. The journey +across the seas had not changed that. A few shivered--not alone because +they were thinly clad. He walked on, slowly, past other groups, turned +the corner of West Street, where the groups were more numerous, while the +number of those running the gantlet had increased. And he heard, twice +or thrice, the word "Scab!" cried out menacingly. His eyes grew redder +still as he spied a policeman standing idly in a doorway. + +"Why in hell don't you do your duty?" he demanded. "What do you mean by +letting them interfere with these workers?" + +The man flinched. He was apologetic. "So long as they're peaceable, Mr. +Ditmar--those are my orders. I do try to keep 'em movin'." + +"Your orders? You're a lot of damned cowards," Ditmar replied, and went +on. There were mutterings here; herded together, these slaves were +bolder; and hunger and cold, discouragement at not being able to stop the +flow toward the mills were having their effect. By the frozen canal, the +scene of the onslaught of yesterday, the crowd had grown comparatively +thick, and at the corner of the lodginghouse row Ditmar halted a moment, +unnoticed save by a few who nudged one another and murmured. He gave +them no attention, he was trying to form an estimate of the effect of the +picketing on his own operatives. Some came with timid steps; others, +mostly women, fairly ran; still others were self-possessed, almost +defiant--and such he marked. There were those who, when the picketers +held them by the sleeve, broke precipitately from their annoyers, and +those who hesitated, listening with troubled faces, with feelings torn +between dread of hunger for themselves and their children and sympathy +with the revolt. A small number joined the ranks of the picketers. +Ditmar towered above these foreigners, who were mostly undersized: a +student of human nature and civilization, free from industrial complexes, +would from that point of vantage have had much to gather from the +expressions coming within his view, but to Ditmar humanity was a means to +an end. Suddenly, from the cupolas above the battlement of the mill, the +bells shattered the early morning air, the remnant of the workers +hastened across the canal and through the guarded gates, which were +instantly closed. Ditmar was left alone among the strikers. As he moved +toward the bridge they made a lane for him to pass; one or two he thrust +out of his way. But there were mutterings, and from the sidewalk he +heard a man curse him. + +Perhaps we shall understand some day that the social body, also, is +subject to the operation of cause and effect. It was not what an +ingenuous orthodoxy, keeping alive the fate of the ancient city from +which Lot fled, would call the wrath of heaven that visited Hampton, +although a sermon on these lines was delivered from more than one of her +pulpits on the following Sunday. Let us surmise, rather, that a decrepit +social system in a moment of lowered vitality becomes an easy prey to +certain diseases which respectable communities are not supposed to have. +The germ of a philosophy evolved in decadent Europe flies across the sea +to prey upon a youthful and vigorous America, lodging as host wherever +industrial strife has made congenial soil. In four and twenty hours +Hampton had "caught" Syndicalism. All day Tuesday, before the true +nature of the affection was developed, prominent citizens were outraged +and appalled by the supineness of their municipal phagocytes. Property, +that sacred fabric of government, had been attacked and destroyed, law +had been defied, and yet the City Hall, the sanctuary of American +tradition, was turned over to the alien mob for a continuous series of +mass meetings. All day long that edifice, hitherto chastely familiar +with American doctrine alone, with patriotic oratory, with perorations +that dwelt upon the wrongs and woes of Ireland--part of our national +propaganda--all day long that edifice rang with strange, exotic speech, +sometimes guttural, often musical, but always impassioned, weirdly +cadenced and intoned. From the raised platform, in place of the shrewd, +matter-of-fact New England politician alive to the vote--getting powers +of Fourth of July patriotism, in place of the vehement but fun-loving son +of Erin, men with wild, dark faces, with burning black eyes and unkempt +hair, unshaven, flannel skirted--made more alien, paradoxically, by their +conventional, ready-made American clothes--gave tongue to the +inarticulate aspirations of the peasant drudge of Europe. From lands +long steeped in blood they came, from low countries by misty northern +seas, from fair and ancient plains of Lombardy, from Guelph and +Ghibelline hamlets in the Apennines, from vine-covered slopes in Sicily +and Greece; from the Balkans, from Caucasus and Carpathia, from the +mountains of Lebanon, whose cedars lined the palaces of kings; and from +villages beside swollen rivers that cross the dreary steppes. Each +peasant listened to a recital in his own tongue--the tongue in which the +folklore, the cradle sayings of his race had been preserved--of the +common wrongs of all, of misery still present, of happiness still +unachieved in this land of liberty and opportunity they had found a +mockery; to appeals to endure and suffer for a common cause. But who was +to weld together this medley of races and traditions, to give them the +creed for which their passions were prepared, to lead into battle these +ignorant and unskilled from whom organized labour held aloof? Even as +dusk was falling, even as the Mayor, the Hon. Michael McGrath, was making +from the platform an eloquent plea for order and peace, promising a +Committee of Arbitration and thinking about soldiers, the leader and the +philosophy were landing in Hampton. + +The "five o'clock" edition of the Banner announced him, Antonio +Antonelli, of the Industrial Workers of the World! An ominous name, an +ominous title,--compared by a wellknown publicist to the sound of a fire- +bell in the night. The Industrial Workers, not of America, but of the +World! No wonder it sent shivers down the spine of Hampton! The writer +of the article in the Banner was unfamiliar with the words "syndicalism" +and "sabotage," or the phrase "direct action," he was too young to know +the history of the Knights, he had never heard of a philosophy of labour, +or of Sorel or Pouget, but the West he had heard of,--the home of +lawlessness, of bloodshed, rape, and murder. For obvious reasons he did +not betray this opinion, but for him the I.W.W. was born in the West, +where it had ravaged and wrecked communities. His article was guardedly +respectful, but he ventured to remind his readers that Mr. Antonelli had +been a leader in some of these titanic struggles between crude labour and +capital--catastrophes that hitherto had seemed to the citizens of Hampton +as remote as Kansas cyclones.... + +Some of the less timorous of the older inhabitants, curious to learn what +doctrine this interloper had to proclaim, thrust their way that evening +into the City Hall, which was crowded, as the papers said, "to +suffocation." Not prepossessing, this modern Robespierre; younger than +he looked, for life had put its mark on him; once, in the days of severe +work in the mines, his body had been hard, and now had grown stout. In +the eyes of a complacent, arm-chair historian he must have appeared one +of the, strange and terrifying creatures which, in times of upheaval, are +thrust from the depths of democracies to the surface, with gifts to voice +the longings and passions of those below. He did not blink in the light; +he was sure of himself, he had a creed and believed in it; he gazed +around him with the leonine stare of the conqueror, and a hush came over +the hall as he arose. His speech was taken down verbatim, to be +submitted to the sharpest of legal eyes, when was discovered the +possession of a power--rare among agitators--to pour forth in torrents +apparently unpremeditated appeals, to skirt the border of sedition and +never transgress it, to weigh his phrases before he gave them birth, and +to remember them. If he said an incendiary thing one moment he qualified +it the next; he justified violence only to deprecate it; and months +later, when on trial for his life and certain remarks were quoted against +him, he confounded his prosecutors by demanding the contexts. Skilfully, +always within the limits of their intelligence, he outlined to his +hearers his philosophy and proclaimed it as that of the world's +oppressed. Their cause was his--the cause of human progress; he +universalized, it. The world belonged to the "producer," if only he had +the courage to take possession of his own.... + +Suddenly the inspirer was transformed into the man of affairs who calmly +proposed the organization of a strike committee, three members of which +were to be chosen by each nationality. And the resolution, translated +into many tongues, was adopted amidst an uproar of enthusiasm. Until +that moment the revolt had been personal, local, founded on a particular +grievance which had to do with wages and the material struggle for +existence. Now all was changed; now they were convinced that the +deprivation and suffering to which they had pledged themselves were not +for selfish ends alone, but also vicarious, dedicated to the liberation +of all the downtrodden of the earth. Antonelli became a saviour; they +reached out to touch him as he passed; they trooped into the snowy +street, young men and old, and girls, and women holding children in their +arms, their faces alight with something never known or felt before. + +Such was Antonelli to the strikers. But to those staid residents of +Hampton who had thought themselves still to be living in the old New +England tradition, he was the genius of an evil dream. Hard on his heels +came a nightmare troop, whose coming brought to the remembrance of the +imaginative the old nursery rhyme:-- + +"Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark, The beggars are come to town." + +It has, indeed, a knell-like ring. Do philosophies tend also to cast +those who adopt them into a mould? These were of the self-same breed, +indubitably the followers of Antonelli. The men wore their hair long, +affected, like their leader, soft felt hats and loose black ties that +fell over the lapels of their coats. Loose morals and loose ties! The +projection of these against a Puritan background ties symbolical of +everything the Anglo-Saxon shudders at and abhors; of anarchy and mob +rule, of bohemia and vagabondia, of sedition and murder, of Latin +revolutions and reigns of terror; of sex irregularity--not of the +clandestine sort to be found in decent communities--but of free love that +flaunts itself in the face of an outraged public. For there were women +in the band. All this, and more, the invaders suggested--atheism, +unfamiliarity with soap and water, and, more vaguely, an exotic poetry +and art that to the virile of American descent is saturated with +something indefinable yet abhorrent. Such things are felt. Few of the +older citizens of Hampton were able to explain why something rose in +their gorges, why they experienced a new and clammy quality of fear and +repulsion when, on the day following Antonelli's advent, these strangers +arrived from nowhere to install themselves--with no baggage to speak of-- +in Hampton's more modest but hitherto respectable hostelries. And no +sooner had the city been rudely awakened to the perilous presence, in +overwhelming numbers, of ignorant and inflammable foreigners than these +turned up and presumed to lead the revolt, to make capital out of it, to +interpret it in terms of an exotic and degenerate creed. Hampton would +take care of itself--or else the sovereign state within whose borders it +was would take care of it. And his Honour the Mayor, who had proclamed +his faith in the reasonableness of the strikers, who had scorned the +suggestions of indignant inhabitants that the Governor be asked for +soldiers, twenty-four hours too late arranged for the assembly of three +companies of local militia in the armory, and swore in a hundred extra +police. + +The hideous stillness of Fillmore Street was driving Janet mad. What she +burned to do was to go to Boston and take a train for somewhere in the +West, to lose herself, never to see Hampton again. But--there was her +mother. She could not leave Hannah in these empty rooms, alone; and +Edward was to remain at the mill, to eat and sleep there, until the +danger of the strike had passed. A messenger had come to fetch his +clothes. After leaving Ditmar in the office of the mill, Janet crept up +the dark stairs to the flat and halted in the hallway. Through the open +doorway of the dining-room she saw Hannah seated on the horsehair sofa-- +for the first time within memory idle at this hour of the day. Nothing +else could have brought home to her like this the sheer tragedy of their +plight. Until then Janet had been sustained by anger and excitement, by +physical action. She thought Hannah was staring at her; after a moment +it seemed that the widened pupils were fixed in fascination on something +beyond, on the Thing that had come to dwell here with them forever. + +Janet entered the room. She sat down on the sofa and took her mother's +hand in hers. And Hannah submitted passively. Janet could not speak. A +minute might have passed, and the silence, which neither had broken, +acquired an intensity that to Janet became unbearable. Never had the +room been so still! Her glance, raised instinctively to the face of the +picture-clock, saw the hands pointing to ten. Every Monday morning, as +far back as she could recall, her father had wound it before going to +work--and to-day he had forgotten. Getting up, she opened the glass +door, and stood trying to estimate the hour: it must be, she thought, +about six. She set the hands, took the key from the nail above the +shelf, wound up the weight, and started the pendulum. And the sound of +familiar ticking was a relief, releasing at last her inhibited powers of +speech. + +"Mother," she said, "I'll get some supper for you." + +On Hannah, these simple words had a seemingly magical effect. Habit +reasserted itself. She started, and rose almost briskly. + +"No you won't," she said, "I'll get it. I'd ought to have thought of it +before. You must be tired and hungry." + +Her voice was odd and thin. Janet hesitated a moment, and ceded. + +"Well, I'll set the dishes on the table, anyway." + +Janet had sought refuge, wistfully, in the commonplace. And when the +meal was ready she strove to eat, though food had become repulsive. + +"You must take something, mother," she said. + +"I don't feel as if I ever wanted to eat anything again," she replied. + +"I know," said Janet, "but you've got to." And she put some of the cold +meat, left over from Sunday's dinner, on Hannah's plate. Hannah took up +a fork, and laid it down again. Suddenly she said:-- + +"You saw Lise?" + +"Yes," said Janet. + +"Where is she?" + +"In a house--in Boston." + +"One of--those houses?" + +"I--I don't know," said Janet. "I think so." + +"You went there?" + +"Mr. Tiernan went with me." + +"She wouldn't come home?" + +"Not--not just now, mother." + +"You left her there, in that place? You didn't make her come home?" + +The sudden vehemence of this question, the shrill note of reproach in +Hannah's voice that revealed, even more than the terrible inertia from +which she had emerged, the extent of her suffering, for the instant left +Janet utterly dismayed. "Oh mother!" she exclaimed. "I tried--I--I +couldn't." + +Hannah pushed back her chair. + +"I'll go to her, I'll make her come. She's disgraced us, but I'll make +her. Where is she? Where is the house?" + +Janet, terrified, seized her mother's arm. Then she said:-- + +"Lise isn't there any more--she's gone away." + +"Away and you let her go away? You let your sister go away and be a--a +woman of the town? You never loved her--you never had any pity for her." + +Tears sprang into Janet's eyes--tears of pity mingled with anger. The +situation had grown intolerable! Yet how could she tell Hannah where +Lise was! + +"You haven't any right to say that, mother!" she cried. "I did my best. +She wouldn't come. I--I can't tell you where she's gone, but she +promised to write, to send me her address." + +"Lise" Hannah's cry seemed like the uncomprehending whimper of a stricken +child, and then a hidden cadence made itself felt, a cadence revealing to +Janet with an eloquence never before achieved the mystery of mother love, +and by some magic of tone was evoked a new image of Lise--of Lise as she +must be to Hannah. No waywardness, no degradation or disgrace could +efface it. The infant whom Hannah had clutched to her breast, the woman, +her sister, whom Janet had seen that day were one--immutably one. This, +then, was what it meant to be a mother! All the years of deadening hope +had not availed to kill the craving--even in this withered body it was +still alive and quick. The agony of that revelation was scarcely to be +borne. And it seemed that Lise, even in the place where she was, must +have heard that cry and heeded it. And yet--the revelation of Lise's +whereabouts, of Lise's contemplated act Janet had nearly been goaded into +making, died on her lips. She could not tell Hannah! And Lise's child +must not come into a world like this. Even now the conviction remained, +fierce, exultant, final. But if Janet had spoken now Hannah would not +have heard her. Under the storm she had begun to rock, weeping +convulsively.... But gradually her weeping ceased. And to Janet, +helplessly watching, this process of congealment was more terrible even +than the release that only an unmitigated violence of grief had been able +to produce. In silence Hannah resumed her shrunken duties, and when +these were finished sat awhile, before going to bed, her hands lying +listless in her lap. She seemed to have lived for centuries, to have +exhausted the gamut of suffering which, save for that one wild outburst, +had been the fruit of commonplace, passive, sordid tragedy that knows no +touch of fire.... + +The next morning Janet was awakened by the siren. Never, even in the +days when life had been routine and commonplace, had that sound failed to +arouse in her a certain tremor of fear; with its first penetrating +shriek, terror invaded her: then, by degrees, overcoming her numbness, +came an agonizing realization of tragedy to be faced. The siren blew and +blew insistently, as though it never meant to stop; and now for the first +time she seemed to detect in it a note of futility. There were those who +would dare to defy it. She, for one, would defy it. In that reflection +she found a certain fierce joy. And she might lie in bed if she wished-- +how often had she longed to! But she could not. The room was cold, +appallingly empty and silent as she hurried into her clothes. The +dining-room lamp was lighted, the table set, her mother was bending over +the stove when she reached the kitchen. After the pretence of breakfast +was gone through Janet sought relief in housework, making her bed, +tidying her room. It was odd, this morning, how her notice of little, +familiar things had the power to add to her pain, brought to mind +memories become excruciating as she filled the water pitcher from the +kitchen tap she found herself staring at the nick broken out of it when +Lise had upset it. She recalled Lise's characteristically flippant +remark. And there was the streak in the wall-paper caused one night by +the rain leaking through the roof. After the bed was made and the room +swept she stood a moment, motionless, and then, opening the drawer in the +wardrobe took from it the rose which she had wrapped in tissue paper and +hidden there, and with a perverse desire as it were to increase the +bitterness consuming her, to steep herself in pain, she undid the parcel +and held the withered flower to her face. Even now a fragrance, faint +yet poignant, clung to it.... She wrapped it up again, walked to the +window, hesitated, and then with a sudden determination to destroy this +sole relic of her happiness went to the kitchen and flung it into the +stove. Hannah, lingering over her morning task of cleaning, did not seem +to notice the act. Janet turned to her. + +"I think I'll go out for a while, mother," she said. + +"You'd ought to," Hannah replied. "There's no use settin' around here." + +The silence of the flat was no longer to be endured. And Janet, putting +on her coat and hat, descended the stairs. Not once that morning had her +mother mentioned Lise; nor had she asked about her own plans--about +Ditmar. This at least was a relief; it was the question she had feared +most. In the street she met the postman. + +"I have a letter for you, Miss Janet," he said. And on the pink envelope +he handed her, in purple ink, she recognized the unformed, childish +handwriting of Lise. "There's great doings down at the City Hall," the +postman added "the foreigners are holding mass meetings there." +Janet scarcely heard him as she tore open the envelope. "Dear Janet," +the letter ran. "The doctor told me I had a false alarm, there was +nothing to it. Wouldn't that jar you? Boston's a slow burg, and there's +no use of my staying here now. I'm going to New York, and maybe I'll +come back when I've had a look at the great white way. I've got the +coin, and I gave him the mit to-night. If you haven't anything better to +do, drop in at the Bagatelle and give Walters my love, and tell them not +to worry at home. There's no use trying to trail me. Your affectionate +sister Lise." + +Janet thrust the letter in her pocket. Then she walked rapidly westward +until she came to the liver-coloured faeade of the City Hall, opposite +the Common. Pushing through the crowd of operatives lingering on the +pavement in front of it, she entered the building.... + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Anger and revolt against a life so precarious and sordid +Janet resented that pity +She resented being prayed for +Struggled against her woman's desire to give +Tested the limits of Janet's ingenuity and powers of resistance +There had been something sorrowful in that kiss + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of The Dwelling Place of Light, V2 +by Winston Churchill + diff --git a/old/wc03v11.zip b/old/wc03v11.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e151c08 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/wc03v11.zip |